• Corporations are people. When they break the law, they pay fines. It’s only the poor who do jail time.

• Some days, happiness is a new set of windshield wipers.

• Concerning the bad news of how damaging sugar is to our health, should we change our old-time plea for a favor to “Pretty please — with Stevia on it”?

• Before the right can impeach President Obama, they will first have to admit that he really is a legitimate president, so I’m liking Barack’s chances.

• Has anyone noticed that Russia is at war with Ukraine, Israel is at war with Hamas and we’re not at war with anyone (well, except ourselves)?

• Am I the only one who hates that my city buses have been turned into ugly billboards?

• Attention all motorists traveling on College Avenue who wish to turn left onto Monroe Street: Please ignore the traffic sign that clearly prohibits said left turn; it does not apply to you.

Zing! is under the impression that obeying traffic signs and red lights always has been pretty much optional in Tallahassee. Email zing@tallahassee.com or write P.O. Box 990, Tallahassee, FL 32302. And be sure to check out the Zing! blog at Tallahassee.com or on Twitter at @zinginbox.