Are you a professional athlete? Are you seeking balance in your life? Is Venus entering Scorpio in your house of partnership? Well, you probably need the services of a qualified sports astrologist. If only we knew where one could be contacted.

Wait! We're in luck! Andrea Mallis is a professional sports astrologist with her own MLB Blog. She's charted the stars for the stars since 1983 and has appeared on ESPN's Baseball Tonight, SportsCenter, and ESPN's vaunted Page 2. And now she has a site on MLB Blogs. Come on in, the stargazin's fine!

If you're a pro athlete, and your planetary configurations are in need of a tuneup, this is obviously the place to go. Among other things, Mallis claims to have predicted the Boston Red Sox's 2004 World Series triumph. Samples of her readings include those of Barry Bonds: "Bonds is a dramatic Leo — a sign of oversized egos — who needs to rule the roost." And then there's this, on Mike Piazza:

"Currently on the DL with a broken hand, Mike's mid-life crisis has begun — a time to let go of whatever has outlived its creative usefulness. Neptune (planet of confusion) is also in challenging aspect to Mars (energy), springing a leak in Mike's physical energy."