When it is time to get kids in line, where do we send them? The army. There they will learn to be all they can be. They will go through training regimens that will have them saying they want to wake up at 7am to go to school, instead of 5am to go running for hours. They will be saying "yes, ma'am" when you ask them to do the dishes, and "yessir" when their father asks them to clean up their room.

They will be in the best physical condition of their lives. (Although they are about ten, so maybe they would have already been in the best condition just from being an energetic ten year old.) They will be ready and willing to do everything you ask. They will be army strong.

So, the next time your kid leaves the house a wreck pull out this Child Army Camo Costume. It will make them look sharp, be sharp, be army. Their drill sergeants will whip them into shape in no time. And when your cute little munchkin returns he will be the one waking you up in the morning to get ready. Making his bed in the morning, keeping those edges tight and tucked in. You won't ever have to remind him to do his chores again. The trash will be taken out before you even remember it's pick-up night. Just remember to buy enough food, we hear army guys can eat you out of house and home.