I never would have guessed that at a roundtable discussion on Dallas morning TV show ‘The Broadcast’ about Michael Sam sharing a celebratory kiss with his boyfriend after being drafted to the NFL, that the one woman at the table with the redneck, back swamp twang, and Kate Gossellin hair would be the one storm out of there!
The Broadcast’s Amy Kushnir is definitely not into 2 guys/one cake, guy-on-guy action, as she clarified with this quote LIVE on air, before storming off set:

“When parents do not have a choice about whether or not they want their children to see this, it is wrong…I don’t call it a moment of celebration…It’s being pushed in faces. I don’t want to see that. I don’t want to see cake in your face, kissing each other.”

It’s always most f*cked when the females are somehow threatened by gay male love… it doesn’t really add up! Like who cares! Put on your $20 Steve Madden knock-off wedges from Payless and go find a cute sports bar someplace — There is a plethora of straight male peen in the sea, gurl! You don’t want some dude in capris and flip-flops anyway!

The South Park movie would not go over well in Russia this week, as President Vladimir Putin announced Monday that he will ban foul language across “a wide array of media, including cinema, events, concerts, literature and theater” according to Russia’s state-run news agency ITAR-Tass. F*CKEDY F*CK F*CK! The big bad words that could really get you in trouble, the words that Vladdy no-like are:

Well, there goes our entire Sunday vocabulary! I don’t know about you guys, but when someone tells me I can’t start a cussin’ — it just makes me cuss harder! Putin is just making protests that much easier… All you need is a boombox and a Wesley Willis or Peaches CD down in Red Square and you’re public enemy number one!

Conservatives are really not into President Obama bowing during his meeting foreign dignitaries, and most of what they say has been reading kind of like a Weekly World News headline. Fox News’ Neil Cavuto took time out of being the ‘prettiest and most-smartest’ to tweet that the President’s bowing to a Chinese robot made the US look weak. Only problem is, the robot and his friends are… JAPANESE! DURRRR!

Critics saying President Obama bowing to a Chinese robot makes us look weak – Do you agree with them or is this really no big deal?
— Neil Cavuto (@TeamCavuto) April 24, 2014

Oooh, she’s such a specialist! Considering Neil has a show called YOUR WORLD on Fox, I’d be interested in having Neil point to Japan on a map! We could build a whole segment around it.

It’s so hard to keep track of which Republican or Democrat has been caught with which low-rent rent boy these days… Who’s out? Who’s not? Lucky for us, DisMagazine comedic babe Steven Phillips-Horst is here to clarify who’s still on the market and who’s a promising candidate for 2014!

We’ve all fantasized: gay Republican, closeted Democrat, Bi-ndependent. But now we have the facts. Orientation cryptologist Steven Phillips-Horst is back with #penetrating insights into the not-so-secret lives of closeted gay politicians! The results are #SCHOCKING!

t.a.T.u, the pop duo who brought you the lesbionic dance hit “All The Things She Said”, which reached No. 7 in the UK charts, and No. 1 in the US dance charts — are set to perform at the Sochi 2014 Olympics Opening Ceremony!
This seems a bit strange, considering Russia’s stance and laws against homosexuality. Especially considering the fact that t.a.T.u’s lyrics and video for “All The Things She Said,” were suggestive of homosexuality and bisexuality (The chorus even sings “I’m losing my mind. I need her.”).t.a.T.u posted on their Twitter that they’d be performing at the opening ceremony but later deleted that shit. They’ve said nothing about it since, and State television Channel One, whose producers and directors are staging the ceremony, have also declined to comment. According to the Wall Street Journal though:

Details of the opening ceremony are a closely guarded secret. But two people familiar with the matter say Russia’s team will enter the stadium to the music of t.a.T.u, made up of Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova. The group will perform at the warm-up show that won’t be broadcast internationally, the people said. The Russian team will then file into the stadium to the sound of their 2003 hit “Not Gonna Get Us.”
The rest of the ceremony will focus on Russia’s history from ancient times through Imperial Russia to the Soviet era, according to the people familiar with the plans. Church domes will float above the newly-built stadium, giant magic horses will glow in the sky, and Russian heavy weight boxing champion and the lawmaker Nikolai Valuyev will perform as Uncle Styopa, a benign giant policeman from a Russian children’s book.

Sounds charming! The band has been accused of being “fake lezzie” which I guess is enough of an excuse for Putin to let this one slide? Who the f*ck knows! Hopefully they slip eachother the tongue onstage, and then cut to Putin’s reaction. Check out their lady-loving hit below!