Office Joes

When Wifeage told me that she wanted me to have BOTH Billy Bookcases from Ikea, I hadn’t really imagined it possible that I’d fill them, fill the others, and still run out of room, but I did.

After giving away all of my O-rings when I was a peer-pressured teen (Joes were definitely NOT cool) I got a hair up my ass and started collecting again a few years ago when I happened upon a gumtree ad where the guy was selling his childhood Joes collection for $50. I got some real deals in there AND I got to recapture that part of my childhood again.

Then I found a Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes on eBay for about $10 and I got ’em, thinking that I’d fully finished recapturing my childhood.

“Boy,” thought I, “these sure are shiny and in good nick for being so old…”

Yep, they were just later versions, repaints basically. I checked around online and found that there were (at this point) 45 versions of Snake Eyes. FORTY FIVE. Goddam.

I got a few here and there and then saw the racks of newest and awesomest Joes at Coles (our local supermarket giant) for $10 each. They were clearance marked and we were broke, so no go. Then they went down to $5 and in a fit of spontaneity I ram-raided the racks with my shopping trolley and got the last 5. Then I won a crazycheap auction from Sydney for $26 (inc shipping) for about 6 figures (and I only had one of them, the shithouse Snake Eyes).

So I set up a shelf, a plank really, on the wall and started displaying my Joes on it. Then it got too small. Then the desktop got too small. Then the bookshelf got too small.

Now, my office is too small. But that’s how it rolls, I suppose.

I’m proud to say that because of my tough bargaining skills *cough tightass cough* and my shrewd budgeting talents *cough brokeass cough* that I’ve never paid more than $10 for any single figure. Most of the time, that includes shipping too. Of course, I usually get pretty good deals on eBay in the US and have them sent to mum’s house, then she pays the shipping to get them over here with presents for my kids, but still. I’m rather proud of my miserlyness.

My collection is basically:

O-ring – A smattering of my favourites, mostly incomplete, with a few vehicles (also incomplete) and a WHALE. Until I get more space though, they’re likely to go into storage for now.

25th – Nearly every version of Destro and Baroness, a few Cobra Commanders and most of the other major players for Cobra and the Joes. Plus, a few army buiders like troopers and Crimson Guardsmen. These are mostly set up on True Heroes/G.I. No vehicles that I’ve customised making for some cool battle scenes.

Rise of Cobra – I’ve got nearly EVERYTHING that was released, and I’m stoked. There’ll be a few stragglers here and there but I’ve got nearly everybody now, with every vehicle, and I’m setting up one shelf per awesome scene in the movie (plus a few that weren’t).

Renegades – I’ve got nearly every figure except that I can’t figure out if guys like Lifeline and the Techno-Viper were in there or not. The logo is similar on their packaging but sites like GeneralsJoes.com don’t seem to consider them a part of it.Which would rock, really, because that’d mean I’ve got ’em all!

Resolute – I had nothing of this one save a Firefly that I got because he’s fkn COOL and because I have nearly every Firefly (‘cept v14) and the Stormy and Snake Eyes, of course.Then a client sent me the Duke, CC, Troopers, BAT box-set, and now I’m trying to get as many of this run as I can. It’s nice when they’re smaller like this, because I can work my way up to a complete run.

Pursuit of Cobra – I only started getting these because of the Snake Eyes and Storm Shadows, but holy shitfinger the rest of ’em are fkn COOOOOOOOL. Low-Light was a piece de resistance, the Zartan is frickin’ awesome and the Beachhead and Alley Viper both rock my socks nearly offa my feet.

Retaliation – To be honest, I got the SS and SE’s, of course, and the Zartan and Beachhead were in a lot that I bought for the SE a a Renegades Law & Order, but otherwise this isn’t the stuff I’d normally buy. For starters, it’s too expensive. Buying off the rack will run over my $10 limit and most of the toys aren’t worth that. I’ve overloaded on the Red Ninjas, because they’re fucking awesome, and have picked up a Roadblock and Flint here and there for $4 a piece. Otherwise, I reckon this toyline is crapola.

Shelves along the wall – All the Storm Shadows and Snake Eyes.

Yep, ALL of ’em. Well, they’re not all up there, some are in the displays on the other shelves and whatnot, but whenever I can get my hands on a dupe, I put them up there so that they all look good standing next to each other.

The only possible one I’m missing is the POC Arctic Snake Eyes, but it was cancelled so technically wasn’t ever an available figure. They go for $200 on eBay too, so I’m just going to get the Desert Chase Pursuit of Cobra Snake Eyes and paint some blue on him. SORTED.

That’s two Ikea Billy Bookshelves and four Reject Dot shelves, 3×3 high and 1×4 high.

The brown Billy shelf has a Rise of Cobra Desert Battle on top, then the City Strike beneath, then the Arctic Assault, then the Underwater Fight on the bottom.

My Tomahawk (Eaglehawk) will have my 7-pack Slaughter’s Marauders in it eventually (when I get time to put them in it), the PIT has everything ROC in/on it except for a couple of Dune Buggy, AWE-Striker-style, vehicles that I customised with paint and gear.

Then the bookshelves will have the scenes from Paris Pursuit, Jungle Attack, Attack on the Pit, and then miscellaneous POC custom vehicles and O-rings. When I can find vehicles (Harleys mostly) for my 7-pack Dreadnoks, they’ll go in there somewhere.

My ME/25th stuff, with a Moray turned Modern and other G.I. No vehicles customised for ’em. The bottom shelf is Renegades, Resolute and Pursuit of Cobra figures only.

This shelf has the top dedicated to ROC and connecting to the Pit Mobile Headquarters. The top box will be the Rescue Mission from Rise of Cobra, then a Ninja Dojo with mostly Retaliation ninjas and customs, then below that a 25th (pre-renegades) ninja dojo scene, both with as many Red Ninjas that I can get my hands on. The bottom will be Retaliation and ROC extras, like the Dr Rex Whitecoat Variant and such.

All my beautiful Snakes and Stormys. Someday I’ll have enough extras to pose the ME ones in my “scenes” and have one up on the shelf for display. I’ll have better shelves too. And a pony.