Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

how to b sure

how to b sure ~ am I right to doubt ~ I feel like I might of accused wrong and others say they didnt do it and yet counsellors say I present with all the signs of abuse ~ the reason I ask is I dont recall or atleast I dont remember much and dont know if what I remember is fact or what I filled the gaps in with ~ am I making sense

If someone touches you and you don't want them to - that is abuse. If you ask them to stop and they don't, that is abuse. If you know someone did something to you, even if they deny it - that is still abuse.

As you work with your counsellor you will possibly find that you have been blocking out the abuse in order to survive.

I don't know if this helps hun, just take any bits that fit and discard the rest or even all thabove.

i agree with the first response...this is your body and if someone does something you dont want them to then that is not okay and needs to be dealt with. i know from personal experiences that the longer i sit in therapy the more my memory comes back...good luck to you. take care.

Why do you feel you might have wrongly accused? What were the reasons for accusing that particular person(s) in the first place?

Having &quot;all the signs&quot; is a very good indicator, but not absolute proof. That is to say, having all the signs is a good place to start an investigation, not to end one. However for the sake of discussion here I'll assume it's true.

That still doesn't prove you were abused by a particular person, particularly if you don't remember abuse by that particular person. There is always the possibility that the abuse came from another person - a houseguest, a babysitter, anyone - that you don't even remember and your mind is projecting onto a particular person just to &quot;fill in the blanks&quot;.

However, keep in mind that what I said above is possible... but extremely rare. The overwhelming number of times it IS the person we think it is. Look for verification and don't get too wrapped up trying to second-guess yourself. Or, as on old investigative saying goes, &quot;When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras.&quot;

I made the connection due to the type of relationship I had around him and whenever he was near I use to get fear and panic reactions but what if I created that reaction in me not anything he did? does that make sense?

bickyroo, I want you to realize you don't always have to know who it was that abused you and your thoughts maybe confused but that doesn't mean you can't learn to heal. Survivors don't always have to confront who it was that violated them. Because alot of the time they don't take responsibility for what they did.

YOu can heal the insecurities or feelings that come with sexual abuse. You don't have to recall every experience to heal, you just need to have a good counselor help you to cope with the feelings you are having. Maybe doing some EMDR therapy would help to deal with what you are dealing with.

you are definitely making sense. when i was raped i had had too much to drink and thought i was in the hands of a good friend. however, after i passed out my ex-boyfriend or &quot;good friend&quot; raped me. the next morning i woke up in bed next to him with next to nothing on and in extreme pain. i remembered nothing about what happened but obviously knew i had been raped. throughout the past year i am slowly beginning to remember things. i think it just takes time for it to come back. i wish u the best of luck in figuring this out.

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