Chapter 5 – No Duh
Tonight was the last night of the tour. Then I got to go home and figure out my fucking life. I’m six goddamn months pregnant! I was really showing. Not as much as normal pregnancy but I was still showing. I was eager to get home for once. Back in LA a month later and I could go home! No more touring for now! I had never been excited to end a tour until now. I got in the car and happily drove home. I was greeted by my many dogs and then collapsed on the couch to watch tv. I flicked it on and pulled out my phone to text Gerard. It was time to tell him. –Gee, Coffee tomorrow. Meet me at starbucks at noon, We need to talk.- I got a text back within a matter of seconds. –Ok, see you then. Xo- Everything from Gerard ends in “xo”. No we were not together. Mikey had bugged me every day of the tour to tell Gerard. I just couldn’t do it while we were on tour. I had to do it while we could put distance between us after I told him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted me to raise the kid on my own and not tell anyone it was his. I decided I just need to shut my brain off and sleep off the tour. I turned the tv and all the lights off, stripped down to my boxers and fell into my bed. Surprisingly I was asleep in a matter of minutes.

The next morning I woke up at 11. That gave me a hour to get ready to meet Gerard. My hands instantly started sweating. I was so nervous about telling him. Once I was ready it was 11:45 so I started walking to Starbucks. It wasn’t that far and I really just felt like taking a walk to clear my mind. Once I arrived at the coffee shop I immediately spotted Gerard sitting at a booth with two coffees. I sat down and he handed me one “Lot’s of sugar, just how you like it.” He said smiling. “Thanks.” I muttered. “So.. what did you want to talk to me about?” He asked. That was Gee, always straight forward. “Uh..” I looked down and took a sip of my coffee. “You know how you um.. got me that test?” He nodded. “Well… um.. it wasn’t negative… I’m pregnant. With your.. twins..” I said. “No shit to the being pregnant thing.” He said smirking. “With my kid, I figured, and twins!!” He said smiling widely. “Damn, twins.. Wow!” How could he be happy? Well I guess that’s better than pissed. “What do you mean, ‘no shit?’” I said pouting. “Hun, your 6 months pregnant, with twins! You can’t hide that.” He gestured to my belly. I sighed and laid my head on the table. “What are we gona do, Gee?” His turn to look down. “I don’t know. Let me say one thing, I’m sorry for getting you pregnant.” “It takes two.” I said looking up regretfully. He nodded, “I know, but I can’t say it once the kids are born. They are humans and didn’t choose to be in this situation, we can’t treat them like some accident we drunkenly made. We’re going to act like parents, because that’s what we are.” Ok so I knew Gee was a good guy but I never knew he would care about his unborn kids so much, it made me feel safe, for the first time in months. “I agree.” I said sitting up again. “Anything you need Frank, for the babies for yourself, anything at all, call me.” I nodded. “Thanks, Gee. Really, thank you.” He nodded. “Do the other guys know?” I said referring to the band. “Well they know that your pregnant, because it’s hard to hide but other than that, I think their oblivious. Besides Mikey he seems to know something’s up.” Gerard responded. “Mikey knows everything. He found the test in the trash and confronted me about it. He’s taken me to my doctor appointment and everything.” “Why did it take you so long to tell me?” Gerard asked, he looked hurt. I shrugged. “I was so nervous, I mean it was ONE time!” He nodded. “it only takes one time.” “I realize that” I said, sticking out my tongue and pointing at my stomach. He laughed, it was strangely captivating. I shook the thought out of my head, damn hormones. We got up to leave and he hugged me. “Let me drive you home.” I nodded and we headed out to his car.

When we pulled up to my house he looked at me. “Do you regret that night?” He asked looking right into my eyes. Up until that minute I would have said yes to anyone that asked. I regretted it completely. But when he looked at me, I didn’t. I didn’t regret sleeping with him, I didn’t regret getting pregnant. “No.” I said it was honest. I don’t know where it came from but it was honest. He leaned over and kissed me softly. “Bye, Frankie.” He said and I muttered. “Bye.” It took me a minute to get out of the car. I walked to the porch, unlocked and opened the door then turned around again. He smiled weakly and I waved before walking inside and locking the door again. This wasn’t right. I wasn’t supposed to like the kiss! I wasn’t supposed to not regret getting pregnant. How had this had happened? Why is my stomach in knots? Why do I want nothing more than to see Gee?! I sat down against the door and buried my head in my hands. I had to sort out all these feelings, but before I could my phone rang. It read “One new text message” I clicked read now. It was from Gerard

-I don’t either. I never did.- It took me a minute to realize he meant sleeping together. My heart started racing.