5 Reasons I’m Glad iPhones and Social Media Didn’t Exist In My 20′s

I’m sitting here on my old, boring mom butt wondering how in the hell those of you in your 20′s can deal with life in our social-media-obsessed world. If I had a photographic record of everything I did in my 20′s – I would need to be constantly medicated to deal with the inevitability that my kids were going to probably someday find me out.

Here are a list of reasons why I am thrilled iPhones, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and all other forms of social media didn’t exist in my 20′s.

1. Flings could be remembered fondly.

Remember when you could remember that vacation romance as fondly as your brain would allow you to? Now, you will surely Google him, find his Facebook page and find out he still calls his mother, “Mommy.”

2. Everyone didn’t know where you were 24-7.

Between iPhones, Foursquare, and location maps on Facebook and Instagram, you can hardly do anything without people knowing where you are at all times. Try lying about missing an engagement and you almost have to hole up in a cave with no wi-fi to get away with it.

3. You didn’t have to constantly try hard to make your life seem exciting.

When every damn thing you do in your life isn’t being documented photographically and shared with the world, you are more content being the boring person that you are. Part of me thinks it would be sort of nice to have more photographic memories of my life – but a bigger part of me is really happy to just have the memories – in my brain.

4. You never had to be informed of what your friends were having for lunch.

I can say with the utmost certainty that I never thought about what my friends were deciding to feed themselves – because I didn’t have a constant visual feed of their meals. I liked it better that way.

5. There wasn’t photographic evidence of every bad decision you ever made.

Maybe you didn’t take a Vine video or Instagram the night you spent puking on every curb in downtown San Francisco, but you can rest assured that someone has photographic evidence of it. Your bad decisions will be remembered forever.