How to Write the Next Outrageously Popular Tween Book Series

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alexsarcastic221 knows where the real money is at: LITERATURE. (If only that were true.)—Sparkitors

A few days ago I saw this hilarious post about becoming the next tween phenomenon, and I happened to notice that oceaneyesx3 left out one very important point: in order to become a tween phenomenon, it is also crucial to star in a movie based off of a popular book series! (Unless you are Justin Beiber, in which case, how do you get your hair to do that? My little sister wants to know.) But if you’re not Justin Beiber, than this post will tell you how to write a series of books that will create the next tween phenomenon (and probably make you a ga-billionaire).

Step 1: Idea Time. First and foremost, you need a great idea. Preferably one that will make legions of teenage girls go weak in the knees. Some ideas include:
• A sexy zombie who falls for an angsty, twitching teenage girl
• A stuck up movie star who falls in love with an angsty and sarcastic teenage girl who doesn’t know who he is
• Parachutes
• A superhero who falls in love with an angsty teenage girl who also has superpowers that she doesn’t know about yet
• Face touching
• Rain

Step 2: A Great Title. Now that you have your idea, you are well on your way to literary stardom—you just need a kick-butt title! Some suggestions are:
• Forbitten: A Zombie-Vampire Romance Saga
• Smells Like Teen Stardom
• Parachutes
• Super love!
• A Beginner's Guide to Face Touching
• Rain+Love=Eternal Love

Step 3: Main Character. Actually, you can skip this step. Just make your lead character an angsty teenage girl of average height with brown hair who is totally devoid of personality, and you’ve got a winner!

Step 4: Love Interest. This one is important. The key to unlocking your HUGE fan base is to create the perfect man. He must be handsome, witty, brooding, virtuous, romantic, and the only words he can ever speak are: Love, Forever, Soul, Forbidden, Desire, Future, Happiness, You, Beautiful, and Lamb.

These are my helpful hints to writing the next tween phenomenon book series! As long as you don’t steal my idea (it's tentatively titled Roses Are Red, and it's about an angsty teenage girl named Rose who blushes often and falls in love with a sexy Leprechaun), then we’re good. So what are you waiting for? START WRITING!

This post is a potential GOLDMINE. We're going to start working on "Love in the Time of Parachutes and Face-Touching" right away.