A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Scottish cop.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON, and is certain that he has a better education than any Scottish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Scottish cop's expense!
Scottish cop says, "License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Scottish cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Scottish cop says, "Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."
London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Scottish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to a complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Scottish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Scottish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says, "Daeye want me to stop or just slow down?"

strictsuccess510

#6

3

What do you call a magic owl? ...... Hoo-Dini

LOL1KING

#7

3

Because why shouldn't super heros have swords?

reasonablesinger981

#8

3

Okay fine, but if the next movie starts making fun of making fun of making fun of Marvel, THEN I'm out.

blubs

#9

2

If you get fat, do your balls get fat too?

Stacyyines

#10

2

Your mom.

luckyagency519

#11

2

My partner is non-binary, and a lot of the time when I tell people that, like people in my family, they say “that’s not real” or “that doesn’t exist,” and I can't figure out whether these people are bigots, or if they just don't think anyone would date me.

awarebeer367

#12

2

My partner is non-binary, and a lot of the time when I tell people that, like people in my family, they say “that’s not real” or “that doesn’t exist,” and I can't figure out whether these people are bigots, or if they just don't think anyone would date me.

southerngrocery30

#13

2

I haven't seen it, so I dunno.

availablefeedback987

#14

2

I'm Batman

importantreaction89

#15

2

Do these guns make my hands look tiny?

hungrybuyer558

#16

2

For a movie so full or snark, they sure didn't reach far for the title!

blubs

#17

2

A new class of superhero: no class

blubs

#18

2

How much does it cost to fix a broken 4th wall?

blubs

#19

2

Whoever cast Ryan Reynolds deserves a promotion. People Magazine's sexiest man alive is made hideously ugly, but then it doesn't matter because we never see his face anyway. Brilliant!