engage

Introduction

It’s a centuries old question – what in the world do we do with children in worship? And the Church is, and always has been, all over the map when it comes to involving children in its worship. I know that in some churches children are always present. In other churches children have their own space while their parents attend “big church” unhindered by the trials and cares of parenthood.

For the sake of this article, though, let’s assume that your church is one of those that has decided that having children present in worship is something of value, but that infants and toddlers will have a full-service nursery, that older preschoolers will attend part of the worship service then move to an extended session in the children’s area, and that elementary children will be full participants in worship.

We need to make this time into something more! We need to make sure that we are giving children something that is uniquely their own and that the Gospel is coming alive for them.

What’s in the Box?

As a pastor I truly valued the children in my church. I wanted to know their names. I wanted them to know that their pastor cared about them and that I thought they were important. I was doing a children’s time but was frankly disappointed that the children were not more engaged… at least until the candy at the end.

I shared that with a close lifelong pastor friend one day when we had escaped the church office and stumbled upon a golf course. It was a beautiful day, just the kind of day when the clouds would part and heaven break forth with a new idea.

“You should give what I’m doing a try. Have you ever tried ‘the box?’” he said, and then he began to describe an idea that would bring new life into my church.

Basically it goes like this:

The first Sunday you introduce the box and give it to a child. (In order to make sure that every child eventually gets a chance, you can pass it along alphabetically by first or last name or by birthday order of those present.)

The child gets to pick what to bring back in the box the next week. (Encourage parents to be involved, but it’s important that the child picks the item.)

The child brings the box back the next week and gets to sit by the pastor as the box is opened. They are SO excited to share whatever they’ve brought!

Then YOU get to come up with a children’s message ON THE SPOT! Some of those will be better than others, but that was always the case anyway.

Of course, I started with a cardboard box, but within a month one of the church grandpas had constructed a magnificent wooden version.

The objects started pretty simple, but by the end of the first year I had …

Caught fuzzy balls with a velcro skull cap on my head,

Jumped up and down on spring loaded shoes,

Been a “snake handler” in church,

Opened a box of golden retriever puppies!

… all while wearing my liturgical robe!

Okay, so yes you’ve got to be a good sport. But if you’re willing to take a little risk, your church’s children will never forget their days of box time and how engaged they were with what happened there.

If “The Box” Sounds Too Scary …

For some folks the box sounds just too terrifying. Well, it’s true – you are indeed “on the spot.” So here are a few ideas to ease the pain if this just sounds too scary:

Occasionally, the box will not return, for one reason or another. You’ll want to have a backup object lesson stored in the pulpit just in case the box gets “lost.” And then make sure to follow up during the coming week.

Sure, there will come that day (or those days) when you really struggle to think of something creative to go with the day’s object. But not to worry – the children and the congregation will love that you tried, and they will have a golden lesson on how to extend grace, even if it is a little at your expense.

There is the off chance that a child could bring something you consider inappropriate. That is why parent involvement is so important. If that prospect is just too scary, you might consider having a preview of the box prior to worship each Sunday. (I consider that to be cheating!)

Conclusion

I love the story of the little four-year-old who became too boisterous in church. His parents (and surrounding worshippers) had finally had enough, and his father had snatched him up and headed up the aisle for a sure reckoning of some sort in the church foyer. But before they reached the door the little boy pleaded, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

There are a lot of different youth ministry models to choose from. Different youth ministries do different things well, and we can all learn from each other. Regardless of the size of your ministry, we all have something to learn from one another!

I learned a powerful youth ministry lesson from watching other youth ministries. As I’ve traveled and met youth pastors across the country, their ministries have all been different. Some are healthier and have better results than others though.

So here is the question I began asking a few years ago: What makes the best youth ministries the best? It’s not the size of the crowd or their budgets. It’s not the talent and ability of their youth pastors. I’ve found the single greatest measure of success to be what type of ministry you have: for students or by students.

Here’s what I’ve found separates and defines these two types of youth ministries.

Youth Ministries FOR Students:

1) Teach Students

Ministries for students teach. They usually teach really well and are incredibly creative. Students from these youth ministries know a lot of truth about following Jesus.

2) Entertain Students

Ministries for students usually place a high value on entertainment. These ministries work tirelessly to have the best environments and to make sure students have fun. Students show up because they know they will have a good time at youth group.

3) Minister to Students

Youth ministries for students are great at ministering to students. To minister is defined as attending to someone’s needs or providing something helpful. Most youth ministries do this well. They love on students, teach them important truth, and help them navigate through life.

None of this is bad. These are all great things that most youth ministries by students will do in some way as well. A by students ministry doesn’t value these things less, they simply value more than this.

Youth Ministries BY Students

1) Disciple Students

Ministries by students don’t just teach, they make disciples. A disciple is a person who accepts and helps spread the teaching of another. These ministries don’t just teach students about Jesus. They enlist them to do ministry and give them opportunities to serve in meaningful ways.

2) Engage Students

To engage someone is to involve them in the process and let them participate in it. Youth ministries by students aren’t content to simply entertain. They value involving students in the process of ministry and invite them to participate in it. Entertain students and they will eventually get bored. Engage them and they will get involved!

3) Minister with Students

Ministries by students realize the best way to minister to students is with students. Youth workers can only minister to 6-8 students well before people start falling through the cracks. Your ministry’s potential has no limit when students take on the mantle of ministry.

We can choose to minister to students or to minister with them. The last time I checked an army marches shoulder to shoulder, and so does a thriving student ministry.

In my experience, ministries for students and ministries by students will get different results as well.

Youth Ministries FOR Students

1) Have attenders

2) Are driven by adults.

3) Graduate students from church.

Youth Ministries BY Students

1) Have bringers.

2) Are driven by students.

3) Graduate students into ministry.

To be candid, this is an area I struggle with. Building a ministry of students doesn’t come as natural to me as ministering to students. I had to get intentional about leading ministry this way, but it’s definitely worth it!

I’ve led multiple ministries to students. However, my ministry impact multiplied exponentially when I began to lead a ministry by students. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the investment.

There are a lot of benefits that come with a ministry by students. Leadership development and passing the baton of church growth are just a couple. However, leading a ministry by students isn’t about leadership development or church growth. It’s about advancing the Kingdom!

The kingdom of God will advance most powerfully through God’s people. Pastors won’t reach the most people, parishioners will! Our role as youth pastors is to equip those we lead to do the work God is calling them to. I believe we advance the Kingdom best when we empower students to do ministry.

What would happen if youth leaders embraced the role of coaches? You see, coaches lead from the sideline and win through their players. I believe it’s time we learn to lead from the sideline and not the field. It’s time to let the players play the game, their potential to win is greater than ours anyway.

So where do you stand? Are you leading a ministry of students or for students? How can you empower students to do ministry?

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Ministry Architects is a highly-skilled team of pastors, teachers, executives, youth workers, children's pastors, writers and professors. We're fanatical about success and we can help your church find clear direction and sustained momentum backed up by properly aligned resources.