ChangeShiftChange and shiftPositionMoveMove PositionDarknessPenetratingDeep thoughtstirring and whirring hands that look like time cannot allow blood to floweyes that only look through silver shadowsof doubtbetrayalhopebetrayed hopefor what was bright, true and forth is now dim, a lie, and hiddenfrothed lies in your hidden lightwhy do you hide your light?a ring, a chancethat stupid dancelines on paper with meaningless chanceimages for a smurf or a snotty dogs noseit all gets lost when the wind never blowsbar fights, bar sceneshookers on a stripper poleit all has meaningless meaning for the vibrant and pushy attendeesyet they savor the next chancea wrinkle in the purple fabric hides the small world of complete serenitybut we can’t go there

Today I’m stuck in that time zone that no one likes to be in. It is the time between times where regret, loss, and yet hope and faith all fit in.

The what ifs, could be, did that, don’t do that all crowd into the same place and feel like a never-ending weed in the sidewalk that returns and returns.

You catch yourself looking at pictures, looking at other people who work in your field, you compare yourself to many, many mirrors in the hallway that all have a different reflection. And although each reflection was a satisfying image, at that time, today it appears incomplete.

Today is a day where two hands are not better than one. One will do the job, and the other keeps tempting, turning, and covering.

Life comes in cycles and this cycle I’ve been handed recently is no picnic. I have a cousin on life support whose family has either given up on her, treated her worse than a dying dog, or has yet to figure out what type of love she needs. It’s all ever about communication and not everyone knows how to say, “I need this from you…” One thing we ALL can hear though is that, “she did NOT need that from you…”

As much as communication is key, so is not communicating. It can tell us exactly what we don’t want to hear and what we need to hear. How random is your life? Just think about that for a moment. It seems I am the target of some very random acts of odd, painful, and just plain WTF! moments. How often do you consider your own healthcare as a credit report? We don’t think of it but what if you went to the ER and the meds they have listed for U were for someone dying from cancer? How would that effect your course of treatment?

What about communication between kids? “You have a manstash!” and “She’s the devil of best friend stealers!” Those are pretty strong words. Do we as adults ever speak like this? Not normally. But, I think it’s time we do.

Boss: you stink, you’re ugly and you never appreciate me.

Husband or Wife: you’re fat and lazy!

Teenager: I am actually proud of you today!

Dog: I hate your bathing habits but thanks for being so loyal.

Cashier: You are SO freakin’ slow everytime I show up!

Receptionist: WHY? WHY!? Do you act like you hate your job if you are working here with people!?

Neighbor: You are FAKE! Stop waving to me when you really hate me.

Church singer: Stop doing this for yourself and stop singing all together. See how you like that?

Bus driver: You know, I hate it when u look at me like that. Plus, u smell too.

What and to who are some things you would like to say but normally don’t. Comments welcome.

it’s been too long since I’ve posted anything. there are excuses but what good are they to say?
i need to refocus, readjust, and start writing again.
has anyone else become so engulfed in the doldrums of life that they forget the one or two things, like writing, that is something of a love? there’s no ‘like’ involved there. yet, we sometimes forget and neglect the very essence of our selves.