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Saturday, 24 October 2015

HELLO HATERS

I always feel nervous about posting something that could lead to me receiving "hate", so if this title isn't controversial - I don't know what is. I often express my nerves towards a specific topic in my posts, with the kind of "go easy on me" attitude. So there's no change here. Being the girl that grew up in a smallish town, with big dreams and a funny name, it was almost the easy option to be the target for abuse. Absorbing any nasty comments with the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" motto, and using any hate as ammunition to go out and make my dreams become reality. Yes, what didn't kill me DID make me stronger, and I probably wouldn't be the person I am today, achieved the things I have, without it. So for that, I am grateful. Becoming emotionless, denying any little comment hurts me, and not allowing myself to be sensitive as a result of it - not so grateful.

So receiving comments regarding a blog post, you'd think I would of been man enough to take them, to my surprise it hurt. It hurt A LOT. It awakened my sensitive side, reminding me of how I am an actual human being, that feels real life emotions! Turning to a friend for consolidation to then hear "You can't expect to put something controversial out there, and not receive hate back" - probably hurt me even more. The sad truth is everyone has the right to respond to you, however they want, but I'm not obliged to listen to them. That's not saying I don't listen to any critic. I do, of course I do, like I said it's what makes me grow. But the difference is now I only listen if I know the person saying it has my best interests at heart. I don't hate myself enough, to volunteer to be brutalised.

This goes in any aspect of my life, not just my blogging. Doing a business degree, you can understand there is obviously an ounce of self esteem that believes I am genuinely good within the field. Hence why I pay £9000 a year to further my career in it. To then have someone who doesn't really know me, turn around and completely knock my confidence by telling me my skills within the field are poor, it hit me hard. But taking a step back, I had to question, does this person really have my best interests at heart? Do I trust their opinion? Did they offer critic in the best way, without trying to wound me? The answer is no. Listening to those comments wasn't in any way improving my ability, so why should I be inclined to listen? Being creative, passionate, and driven is hard enough without being put down. So now I turn my head from it, instead of looking for it. Find people you trust and respect, and ONLY listen to them.