It
is with me all of the time, and it is either coming from the people around
me, or I am causing it in others.

I
don't really know how to explain it. It's like I am achieving more
than everbeforeand
my life in general is just getting better.
However, the better it gets, the more uncomfortable
I become. I am experiencing bouts of heightened
enjoyment, and lows
of extreme sadness.

The same
appears to be happing to the people around me,
and I am having abig problem
communicating with them. It's like, my housemate, girlfriend, other friends,
are all becoming background static,
but the most worrying thing
is that I too am becomingpart
of the static, I am being pulled
into something, I am beingreshaped,
again my perceptions are changing,
things are not the way they were before.
What is this?

Too call it a fog
is maybe suggesting that it has some weight,
which it doesn't, but if you can imagine
an invisible fog surrounding
you, clouding
your thoughts,
while making certain things
clearer, things i'd rather not
speak of, then you are getting closer.

Fate
has always been a clear and laser straight view of life,
that has followed me until now. Now I am finding that it has been diffracted.
I look back on events,
and instead of fate showing
me
what happened, it is just throwingup its arms and shouting, I
don't know, it's up to you now!

Where
do I go from here, I don't know, I don't even know how to know where to
go. My life is not bad, and yet I feel so unsatisfied. Like there is more,
I am wasting myself. This is not the first time that i have felt this,
so maybe it is a growing experience, I can't think about this now.