The Most Extreme Pumpkin Carve-Off Ever: The Full Story

At Popular Mechanics, the only thing we love more than making a huge mess is making a huge competition out of making a huge mess—a good, old fashioned one, where only the strong survive. And Halloween provided the perfect stage: The first annual PM Pumpkin Carve-Off.

Here at Popular Mechanics, the only thing we love more than making a huge mess is making a huge competition out of making a huge mess – a good, old fashioned, place-your-bets, manly men competition, where only the strong survive. And Halloween provided the perfect stage for our kind of competition – and our kind of huge mess, too: The first annual Popular Mechanics Pumpkin Carve-Off. But it's not just any carve-off, it's the most extreme carve-off EVER (fact-check THAT!). We asked each competitor to pick out a carving (read: maiming) tool of his or her choice, then pitted them against each other in the categories of speed, technical skill, creativity, aesthetics, PM factor, gee whiz factor and fright factor, all of which (er) factor into the overall prize for Complete and Total Pumpkin Carve Domination, which is just slightly less coveted than the Nobel Peace Prize (fact). Let the pumpkin slaughter begin!

Why this tool?: "There's a psychological component: The bigger the tool, the more extensive the arsenal, the more I hope to intimidate the competition. More importantly, time will be of the essence here—and there's nothing like steel spinning at 1500 rpm (or whatever it is) to shape material quickly. Finally, since half the functionality of any drill is the fact that you can swap out the bits, this plan should essentially allow me to cheat. I'll be using a number of different cutting surfaces."

Possible Problems: "One, I'll still need a variety of knives, and I'm not sure what tools you'll be providing. Two, expectations will rise because I've got so much power at my disposal, and so a just-average pumpkin will be a disappointment. Three, and this is the big one, I haven't actually tested my technology. I wouldn't be surprised if my expensive drill gets fried when junk gets into the gearing. In that case, I'll lose the competition. More importantly, I'll return home very sad, and lacking in the ability to do work around the house."

Pumpkin Carving Strategy: "Take advantage of the drill's speed to (hopefully) overwhelm the competition with a highly detailed jack-o-lantern, one with a multiplicity of details. Either that, or it will be an embarrassing mess."

Roy Berendsohn, Senior Home Editor

Weapon of Choice: Drywall saw

Why this tool?: "It's something a home editor would use. Plus it has a pumpkin orange handle, so it's perfect for Halloween activities."

Possible Problems: "You can give yourself a nasty cut with it."

Pumpkin Carving Strategy: "To get my carving done as quickly as possible so I can get back to some pressing responsibilities here (ahem)."

Why this tool?: "Like most worthwhile endeavors, pumpkin carving is a science. And because it's been a long time since I've dissected anything, and I've begun seeing dotted lines down the abdomens of my colleagues—a classic symptom of withdrawal."

Possible Problems: "I imagine there may be some anatomical differences between a pumpkin and the things I typically dissected in college--frogs, squid and clams. For instance, their digestive systems may not look alike. On the positive side, the nerve reflexes of the pumpkin have already been thoroughly severed, so it probably won't jump around mid-procedure."

Why this tool?: "It has that perfect combination of cutting power and ominous threat. Plus no one will be able to stand near me without fear of getting something chopped off, which gives me the bit of isolation that I crave."

Possible Problems: "I see the thing turning out ugly as sin, but I don't care. The whole point of the hatchet is to make as violent a carving as possible – to bring the real spirit of Halloween to the competition."

Pumpkin Carving Strategy: "Draw a quick outline of the face of my mortal enemy – Wolf Blitzer – on the surface of the pumpkin, then whip myself into a hot rage and have at it." (Before you go on to the play-by-play, we should probably point out that Senior Technology Editor Glenn Derene is not as crazy as his choice of weapon – and his answers – imply. He's only playing up the homicidal maniac thing. We think.)

Why this tool?: "I'd use a full-size recip saw, but I fear for the safety of my competitors. I'm a famously sore loser."

Possible Problems: "The relatively stubby 4-in. blade might make for a closer than comfortable cutting experience, potential gumming of the motor, not to mention lots of mangled gourd splashback. Also, if I lose, I might give someone a powered nick or two."

Pumpkin Carving Strategy: "Clean lines to start, for a starkly modern version of Munch's 'The Scream.' When that inevitably fails, I'll hack that thing to pieces like it just killed my dog."

Why this tool?: "Because, let's face it, ice sculpting is a more established artform than pumpkin carving." Possible Problems: "If all works out, the pumpkins will be, at touch, at temperatures as low as -250 degrees F. That'll burn you good. Furthermore, if there is any liquid nitrogen in the pumpkins, this stuff is dangerous. As a precautionary measure, I will be wearing welding gloves, a full-length (neck to knee) poncho or apron, safety goggles and create a plastic dam to place under the pumpkins (although spillage is a minimal risk)."

Pumpkin Carving Strategy: "How can you go wrong with a hammer and chisel? A technique good enough for Michelangelo is good enough for me."

His Cred: McMahon, who started carving for fun 30 years ago, has sculpted pumpkins for everyone from Ronald Reagan to Martha Stewart to Conan O'Brien.

What He Carves: In addition to pumpkins, McMahon is also known for his carvings of watermelons – and he can turn his fruit-as-canvas into just about anything. "This year I'm doing an Egyptian theme," he says, but his favorite carving was "a shark in a 930 lb. pumpkin."

The Play-by-Play:

Berendsohn finished first, taking only four minutes to craft his basic, triangle-driven pumpkin. Derene finished his pumpkin – a hatchet-in-the-head, car-eating monster – next, followed by Trimble, who was forced to use his do-over when his first frozen pumpkin shattered. Despite the setback, he plowed on until his snowman-inspired pumpkin – complete with a carrot nose – lost its jaw. A scarf completed the look. Bogo, Sofge and Beilinson labored until only seconds remained to finish their pumpkins. Bogo stuck to her science roots and carved an elaborate heart; Sofge used his tech-savvy to make his pumpkin a cyborg with a webcam and eyes that lit up. Beilinson's pumpkin was an intricate ode to his grandmother – but, from the looks of it, hopefully a very abstract portrait and not a realistic depiction. Beilinson was docked points for operating his tool without wearing his goggles – a clear violation of PM's safety rules.

McMahon was joined by PM's own Anthony Verducci to judge the pumpkins. In a tee-ball-esque twist, each editor was crowned a winner in one category or another:

Speed: Roy Berendsohn, whose gourd went from regular fruit to jack o' lantern in under five minutes. If time, not artistry, is your concern, clearly a drywall saw is the weapon of pumpkin destruction for you.

Gee Whiz Factor: Erik Sofge's killer cyborg, which not only boasted skillfull cuts – including a star-shaped eye – from his handisaw, but also a number of tech props.

Technical Skill: Jerry Beilinson's drill and its varied assortment of bits clearly helped create the most intricate jack o' lantern with the most intricate carving, the snarling grandma (or pig).

Aesthetics: Jennifer Bogo, who used her medical grade dissection kit – and almost all of its extra scalpel blades – to skillfully sculpt a realistic, detailed and almost anatomically correct heart and lungs.

PM Factor: Erik Sofge, who captured the PM sensibility with his tech-minded pumpkin.

Fright Factor: Glenn Derene's car-muncher, which, unlike many of its competitors, was carved with only one tool (in Glenn's case, a hatchet) – and achieved an accurate depiction of what it might look like to have a hatchet lodged in your skull.

Creativity: Tyghe Trimble's snowman, for a number of reasons: One, despite setbacks (like, you know, losing his pumpkin's jaw) he made it work; two, he used a carrot; three, he had a concept and followed through; and four, he used liquid nitrogen!

And, drum roll please, the overall award goes to…

Erik Sofge, who, despite being a total novice, displayed total pumpkin carve domination. Whether it was for his natural talent of combining the "gee whiz!" with the essence of PM or some it's-like-we-never-left-the-school-yard bullying, we'll never tell.

While some tools were more practical than others for the task at hand – liquid nitrogen is not likely to become the must-have pumpkin carving tool of the year – the way the editors wielded their tools seemed almost, if not more, important that the tool itself. Beilinson's varied drill bits created the most elaborate pumpkin with the most variety of texture, although Bogo's dissection kit rivaled it for its ability to create detail. We learned that props, even unconventional ones, can give your pumpkin personality when properly used.

McMahon found something worthwhile in each person's tools. "There was a lot of creativity here," he said. "Everyone had a concept, a vision, and followed through. Their tools seemed to work pretty well." But it was Sofge's use of electronics that McMahon liked best. "The concept intrigues me," said McMahon. "I might have to use it in the future."