UNCLE G DISCOVERS THE INTERNET

Being medicated (just having a reefer buzz) and surfing the Internet can indeed be a trip. The World Wide Web it is. People get bored sooner or later, but it can be hugely fascinating up to that point. In the year 2011, it’s ultimately what the individual makes out of it. Being high, can make it a wild experience. For better, or for worse.

As us cannabis users know, our favorite weed has its side effects. Being hungry comes to mind. One of the first places THC travels to when entering the body, is the front of the brain. That is where hunger hides. It finds it, and then it’s off to the kitchen we go.

The senses when under the influence become just so much more stimulated. Included could be a desire to probe (red alert Auntie S). Along with that, a thirst for knowledge. And whatever the brain can conceive, odds are at least a mention of it, could be found by doing a quick Google search. No shit (or plenty of it…scat…plenty nasty). Not only how many times the subject is mentioned on the Internet, but also with pictures / illustrations. That just totally amazes me. And it should. I remember the 1960’s. You were blessed back then, having a recent set of new encyclopedias. A door to door salesman would come by. Buying a set was considered an investment in a child’s future. Doing so you also became part of the neighborhood gossip. At least one older lady was going to ask anyone who would listen; how could they afford such an extravagant item, and on his pay? She look up at the sky like God was paying direct attention to her, and looking downward. A status symbol for sure. At least in the low to middle class neighborhoods.

Uncle G Discovers The Internet (thanks Al Gore)

So this is how it went down for yours truly. It was the year of our Lord, Nineteen Ninty Five. The day was February 14th. Best Day Ever!!! Married my second wife; Auntie S. What a beautiful bride she was. When she moved into the the single wide trailer I was renting at the time, she brought her computer along with her. An IBM / PS1. We had this little cubbyhole in the middle of the trailer. She set it up there. Day after day I’d pass it. Was curious. Didn’t have a clue, as to how to even turn the damn thing on. Tried rubbing real softly on the bottom of the mouse with my fingertips. After all, this sometimes worked on women. This was a very different creature. How I proceeded to go forward were compliments of Uncle’s G newly better half. Auntie S got me a Star Trek game. If I wanted to play it, I needed to teach myself, basic computer skills. This would include learning how to power it up. And that I did.

Now it’s a little time later, and I want to get Prodigy. This was a 1990’s ISP for those younger readers. On late night TV was a program called; Politically Incorrect. As part of the program, they would post questions on Prodigy, in which if interested, you could answer on a nightly basic. I wanted to play along. Have always imagined getting polled would hurt. This was relatively painless, except for paying the Prodigy bill.

In order to get everything working, I needed to upload Windows on the computer my wife had. Then it was onward to Prodigy. Once online, I embraced the World Wide Web. What a cool place for those seeking knowledge. Not only was I able to participate on the Politically Incorrect question of the night survey, but I also found something else that made me very curious; discussion boards. Hundreds of topics. The idea was you talked online to strangers who liked the same thing you did. Wasn’t always like that, but this was the jest of it.

One of my all time favorite music bands, Yes, was listed in the music category. I introduced myself. Had great conversations everyday, forming friendships that lasted for years. Over that time period, my wife and I met some of the folks we were chatting with on a daily basic. Great memories! We once did a road trip to Los Angeles, California. For a concert, and to see Politically Incorrect live (show 100 for ABC). Imagine that. I was very happy. ProgFest ’97. John Wetton was playing. So did Spock’s Beard. One of Auntie S’ and myself vacation getaways. Thinking back, it was a cool period of time.

Speaking of time, it marched on. Due to a transformer going haywire, we ended up getting a new computer. Also, no more Prodigy. It was now AOL with “you got Spam.” Might as well have said that. Or; “you got a new computer virus.” I still don’t understand what kicks people get by totally screwing up innocent people’s computers. One pays for security programs, concluding that should fix that. I feel like I’m being blackmailed. Buy some expensive anti-virus program, or else. Thank God for Freeware.

It was recently that I finally stopped paying for Napster. Was doing so ever since they became legal. In support. When it’s services were illegal, I like many others, downloaded music. But at the same time, I also went out and purchased music CD’s. Napster even when it was free, ended up costing me money. I’d find artists I wasn’t aware of, and buy their music. Was a great way to getting turned on to a new artist(s). One group I found and really dug, was a goth band; Switchblade Symphony. Broken up now. Wish Auntie S and I could have seen them in concert. Living in Houston, is not the idea location for live performances. And certainly not for progressive rock. Isn’t like the Bos-Wash area, which includes New York City. A lot of prog bands will play up North thinking that’s where most of their fan base is. Not true! Lots of us here in the southern part of the Country as well. I wish more musicians / bands would take advantage of our area; New Orleans, Houston, San Antonio, Dallas, and Austin. All good territory.

Back to the Internet, I also uploaded items here. Alice Cooper could sing; guilty…and I don’t care. Not to Napster. I uploaded to a website called; MySpace. Before it was a social website. Back then it was a website mostly used by horny guys who were uploading their nudie collection so their wife or girlfriend, could not find it. And when you used up your ‘space’, you were expected to buy more. Which of course made perfect sense. But no one ever did. My Space Dot Com was listed back in the late 1990’s by Forbes Magazine for being one of the worst dot com businesses ever. As for porn, I never really been that hugely into it. My last real time being a consumer, was before I met Auntie S. Of all the dirty magazines, I liked Hustler. Would keep it in the bathroom. Liked Playboy too. Good articles. Regarding nudity, people all have their own comfort zone. Nude photos in general I always admired way more then I did porn. I see that as two completely different things. To me their is a major difference. Nudes are cool. Surprisingly, I didn’t grow up a prude, as a result of all the Catholic education I received. I don’t hate porn in general. Services a purpose. If it can keep a guy from raping a women. Staying home and jacking off instead. I think it’s a good thing. Phone sex can enhance the experience. Add another dimension. As long as it does no one harm…same as I felt about being gay, then it’s fine. I like mayo on my hamburger, others like mustard. Why make a big deal over all that? The naked body, and sex. Growing up the way I did, my attitude on both was always kind of relaxed. I sometimes sleep nude. Sometimes I don’t. I get cold easily. Soft, and comfy blankets are awesome!

Back to MySpace. I’m married at this time. No interest in porn. Besides, I’d rather always to participate then watch. Here I was uploading different songs that I found on Napster. And a friend would download what I uploaded. He then burned that onto a compact disc. KDiddy had a Philips CD Burner. I got one later one when it was a tad cheaper. Purchased near the dismiss of the cassette. I have hundreds of them still. The compact disc was a vast improvement. We have over 2,500 music CD’s. The tapes are busy collecting dust.

Introducing; KDiddy. This is his first mention. Friends for over twenty years now. He’s a good man (when I worked for the ACLU we all say that when a name of an organizer was mentioned, and whoever was not present). KDiddy’s cool. Take my word for it.

Back to the topic, discussion boards. Years ago, I participated in a horrible war of words on a Yahoo Group Discussion Board. Was just plain nasty. Started in the year; 2000. I have a friend whose a professional musician. Saw major success back in the 1970’s. At this time, I had a Phillips CD Burner. It’s now a part of my stereo set-up. Wasn’t connected to the computer at all. My buddy wanted to use the burner to archive some of his music. He had this shoe box full of cassettes. After doing that some, he decided it be possible to make a few bucks and put out CD’s to his fan base. That I would make. He would help. We’d be partners. The guy had this ex-manager. Dude was also a friend of mine. Ended up being the friend from Hell. He resigned from being manager to my friend, on a Internet discussion website. Pitiful really. I always liked saying important stuff, eye to eye. Damn…was like a ‘Dear John’ letter.

One day I found myself in the middle. Between my friend whose a musician, and my other friend who just before that was my other friends manager. It was on a Sunday that the ex-manager calls me, and let’s say he’s anything but cool. Around 4 PM. For like a full minute he went on, ending with a threat to call my friends PO Officer. I was on probation as a kid / teenager. It’s not cool to rat on people. That street belief, lead to the end of a friendship, and the beginning of learning how sick people can truly become while online, and hiding behind their computer screen. Keyboard Warriors. This turned out to be one sick dude. I’m not a Doctor but I’ll tell up straight up, he was mentally unstable. Sent threatening e-mails / instant messages. I still have them. This was the the weirdest shit I ever ran into…in my life.

So here I am. Those who know me might tell you one good trait I have is that, I’m loyal. Like a Boy Scout (I actually was). Another might say I seem to have a set of principles that I believe in. I felt I was defending a friend. Seemed to go on forever. One fucked up thing after another. Then the ex manager turned his ex-clients dot com website, into a hate website. Talked shit about my musician friend, and myself. Super crazy stuff. The police were involved more then once. Lasted a couple years, give or take. With things getting real close to going off the edge, I walked away. The dude stayed obsessed. The guy was in and out of 12 step programs. He made his version of amends to me, via e-mail a couple / few years ago. Even with that, I could never trust him enough to be the close friend he was before. I’d get these e-mails out of the blue. Something positive he was involved in. The guy liked Sarah Palin. He died on the 18th of October, of this year. Even with us being at peace with each other for a while, I still felt a relief in the news the dude was dead. It was closure.Back in 1997, I met the deceased online. The experience taught me to be more selective with who / whom I talk to. I love the Internet. Learned first hand it can bite.

I’ll end with this:

Back in the 1970’s. I’d walk into a convenience store. Get a bunch of random items I really didn’t need, and when finished, walk over to get checked out at the counter. I’d say to the clerk; “and if I could have the newest Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler…that be great.” Mind you I’m like sixteen years old here. Walking home from work. I especially loved Penthouse Forum:

Dear Penthouse Forum, You never believe what happened to me today. It involves a absolutely stunning teenage blind girl, and her sister who had no teeth. There had a big baggie of Colombian Gold. Did I say they had a monkey? So there I was hitch-hiking……(let your imagination run wild).

Onward Through The Dense Fog,

Uncle G

Note: You may contact Uncle G, in care of this website: Ganjagrannysez@greenribbonworld.com

or try contacting him directly at: UncleGsCorner@gmail.com

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