Today on Essentially Emily, Emily Brill asserts that Nick Denton is not the only reason why people bother to read Essentially Emily. No, they care about the pseudo socialite who is "friends" with Kristian Laliberte because of her dad, former media tycoon and current airport security specialist Steve Brill, and not because Gawker occasionally highlights her wit and wisdom. Emily claims, "Nick's greatest fantasy, indeed, would have been a public feud with Steven Brill over his humiliated daughter." I've been to Nick's apartment, and his fantasies have nothing to do with Steve Brill.

Here's a heartwarming adage from my grandmother: "You can never be too rich or too…
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Emily continues:

Nick figured that I was just another dumb shit/ yacht-hopping "heiress" and that the only retaliation he would get would be from Steven Brill- best of all, that this was going to 'up' his status and maybe even land him a good table at Michael's.

Although Nick's motives are never clear to anyone, Michael's is way too far uptown for him. Also, it isn't 2004.

What sets Emily apart, of course, is not merely the distinguished name, but the coupling of that name with her profound and impressive cluelessness. In college, I had a seminar with Emily while she was a visiting student at Columbia. Her incessant references to prep school and befuddlement about how to get to the center of the Brooklyn Bridge ("Where should I tell the cab driver to stop?") intrigued me, and I had no idea who her father was. I found her website from the pre-Essentially Emily days, where she had posted a picture of herself in her Hanukkah jammies getting a brand new Lexus, complete with a large red bow, just like the ads.

(Her specialness aside from the name may be why no one bothers her brother Sam.)

But all the ridicule of the internet has not deterred Emily. As she says, "I developed a 'now or never' mindset (which I do not regret to this day)." This day is now, right? Because if it were never, that wouldn't make sense at all.

And what exactly is Emily doing now? Her dad wants to know: "He keeps telling me to 'Get a J-O-B.' got one dad."

Apparently getting mocked on Gawker is now a profession. Consider this post your spring bonus.