Stories and happenings in the life of a flight attendant written after my book.
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All photos by Penguin Scott unless noted.

Monday, December 7, 2015

My Favorite Things: Working It

One thing this job
has is lots of variety. This is not a job for people who like the
mundane; who like regulated tasks; who like repetition. I see people
working on assembly lines and think to myself, “I'd rather be
attacked by a giant fruit cake!” Besides the constantly varying
days off, my job is full of different destinations and aircraft.

An Airbus about to land at EWR

The question I get
asked most, and gets my eyes rolling, is, “What is your route?”
It's OK, not many people realize how 60s that question is. Only the
most senior flight attendant has a constant 'route'. And if I ever
become that senior, I don't know that I would want one. I like
variety.

There are periods of
holding similar trips for a month or two; plus, every other month I'm
on call and have no control over where I fly. A few winters ago, I
was holding Boston layovers, which I thoroughly enjoyed. But soon,
the flying shifted and I was holding Orlando. While not as exciting
as Boston, I liked the hotel in Orlando and the airport is nice. One
month you may see Austin, Texas 3 or 4 times, and then you won't see
it for years. It's fun going to cities after years of not being
there, such as a recent layover in Memphis, where the previous one
for me was over 10 years ago! There is no 'route', just a constant
change.

My airline has 8
kinds of aircraft in her fleet and I am trained for each one. I used
to love flying on the 747. It's such a big bird, lots of places to
roam, many passengers to get to know, 15 or so crew members and it
takes you far away from home, which is the main reason I got this
job. The 777 is a great plane to work because it was designed with
input from flight crew. It's the largest twin engine airliner in the
world. We have several variants of the '67 and the '37. The 787 seems
like a great plane, but I've yet to work on one.

Interior of an Airbus

There are things I
don't like about the Airbus, such as the manner in which the jumpseat
seat belts constantly get stuck when it retracts. But there is a lot
to like about the aircraft, such as the wider aisles and flight
attendant-friendly gallies. (The new 737 galleys were obviously
designed by people who were never flight attendants!)

If I had to choose
one position on one plane, I think I would choose purser on the
Airbus A319. When I was based in San Francisco, there was nothing
better than that position on a transcon red-eye flight. For the most
part, the passengers sleep for most of the flight. There was a quick
little service after takeoff, I would then assist with picking up
trash in economy, and then it was pretty much just keeping yourself
busy for 4 hours. As a writer and a night owl, this was very easy for
me. I used to get a lot accomplished on those flights.

The nice thing about
flying purser is being the only one on the jumpseat. There are a lot
of times when I like peace and quiet, including at work. There's
nothing worse than sitting on the jumpseat next to a flight attendant
who's name is Chatty Kathy and all I want to do is listen to the
conversation in my head. But with all the chatter, all my inside
voice can do is shout, “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!”

View from door 2L on an Airbus

We don't have that
many long night flights being based in Houston. And in Houston, we
don't see the 747. But I do still get a lot of flights on the A319.
They're rarely all nighters, but I am often purser. The variety is
great with this job, but when I'm purser on the 319, that's my
favorite!