Are you in Eugene this weekend? What could be more fun than the State Republican Convention? You know you want to head down - and hear from great right-wing leaders like Ron Saxton and Ward Connerly.

And listen up, Democrats. They're using the same hotel that the Oregon Democrats did last month - the Eugene Hilton... so all those secret back doors you discovered work just fine for getting in and out of exclusive events.

So, hit the shrimp buffet, slam tequila shots with the good ol' boys, and take pictures. Tell us stories right here in the comments.

In the afternoon I attended a session “Internet Strategies for Campaigns and Grassroots Activists” lead by Kari Chisholm. This was the session I was most interested in. I learned a couple of things I’ve probably been doing ineffectively, and a few new things.

What you don't know is that we had a special DNC-edition anti-GOP Mark 7 Confabulatron installed - so everything you might have heard was upside down and backwards.... or was it?

I have to say that much of the debate was dominated by those with a strong religious conviction. The self-righteous attitude that their moral authority flows straight from the Creator was dominant and frustrating. They are the real Republicans – just ask them. I’ll write more later.

I am writing to call your attention to a new danger to our beloved American democracy! Foreign Words! Yes! Oregon Republican Candidate for Governor Ron Saxton has sounded the alarm, and you must listen to him!

Yes! Our English language is in danger of becoming infested with foreign words! Brought to our land by foreigners from other countries! Yes! This is true! The Oregon Republican Party must act swiftly!

The debate about protecting our borders is missing the real danger to our way of life! Yes! The foreigners will make us speak their language! Yes! The proof is in our beloved English dictionary!

Spend only a few minutes with our English dictionary, and what you will find there will chill your bones! On every page, there are words from languages that are not English! Yes! It is true! Yet they have been printed in our English dictionary next to our own beloved English words!

“How can this be?” you ask. I assure you that it is true! If you do not own a dictionary, you can look for free at the public library.

I will give you several examples:

“Tortilla” is not English! It is not English, but it is in our beloved English dictionary! “How can this be?,” you ask. "Yes," I reply. It is there, between "tort" and "tortoise!" It is not an English word, it is a Mexican word, spoken by Mexicans! Spoken by Mexicans from Mexico! Yes!

Do you realize that every time you say café, you are speaking French? Yes! Saxophone! Named for a Belgian! Are you feeling the chill in your bones? Chile con carne! Not English! All in our beloved English dictionary!

Furthermore, foreigners have been putting their words into our beloved English language for centuries, in their foreign, insidious ways! Yes, this is true! Since the times of the Latins and Greeks! Did you know that “algebra” is not English? It is Arabic! Yet we say this word every day, not realizing that we are speaking Arabic! The camel’s nose is under our precious American tent! Yes!

Furthermore, Oregon Republicans must continue to find ways to reduce funding for public libraries until out-of-control librarians stop spending our hard-earned tax dollars on books written in foreign languages! Yes! And we must punish out-of-control librarians who insist on undermining our American way of life! Punish them!

English-speaking Americans must unite and stop this assault on our precious beloved English language! We must close our beloved English dictionary to more foreign words! Foreign words are not only un-American, they are harder to spell and pronounce than our good English words!

We have a Constitutional right to speak only English--not foreign--words! Oregon Republicans will work to cut off all funding for those who want to use our public schools to teach foreign languages in America. WE ARE AMERICA! WE DO NOT NEED FOREIGN WORDS!

We must send a message to all foreigners: “Thank you, but we do not want any more of your words. We have plenty of English words that are not used up yet.”

We must close our dictionaries to new words! Unless they have been spoken by law-abiding, tax-paying, property-owning English-speaking American citizens! Only with this step can we stop the threat!

Oregon Republicans must unite and close our borders to insanity! If only we had not cut funding for the Oregon State Police, we would have the officers to set up roadblocks and examine every incoming vehicle for language infestation. Yes! We realize that was a mistake, but we know better now. Yes! You will see!

The Oregon Republican Party Platform demands an end to the expenditure of public funds on dictionaries and other books written in foreign languages! Yes! It is true! You can look it up for yourself!

Furthermore, the Oregon Republican Party Platform demands that every foreigner entering our beloved land of the free and home of the brave be issued an English dictionary upon arrival with instructions to use only the words in this book while you are here. This is a very good and necessary idea to help preserve our precious American freedoms! Yes!

Remember: Many foreigners = many foreign words! Less foreigners = less foreign words! Do not let them speak their foreign words in our America!

I urge you to write to Congress, to all elected officials, to demand that they focus on the real danger and lock down our beloved dictionary! Yes! Today! Lock it up before it is too late! Viva America!

<h2>A whole lot of blather from A.Y. Caramba. A whole lot of ridicule and mocking, but without much if any intelligent analysis. Ridicule and mocking without serious analysis reveals the contempt of the author for the subject. A.Y. demonstrates a lack of any awareness that language is a primary component of national unity. But A.Y. doesn't display any concern with the point the Republicans make: LANGUAGE IS CRITICAL TO NATIONAL UNITY. Secondly, open borders hurt the blue collar, working men and women of this great nation.</h2>

To the Oregon Legislature:

Some large corporations pay nothing - zero - in income taxes to Oregon. Unfortunately, we don't know which ones or the specific accounting tricks and loopholes they use to avoid income taxes. It's wrong that working families pay more in income taxes to support schools and other public services than some of the largest corporations doing business in Oregon. We ask the legislature to enact corporate tax disclosure and let the public know which corporations are paying their fair share.

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This petition sponsored by BlueOregon Action and Oregon Center for Public Policy. By signing, you agree to receive email updates from BlueOregon Action and Oregon Center for Public Policy about this petition and other critical issues. (You may always unsubscribe, of course.) Learn more.

To the Oregon Legislature:

Some large corporations pay nothing - zero - in income taxes to Oregon. Unfortunately, we don't know which ones or the specific accounting tricks and loopholes they use to avoid income taxes. It's wrong that working families pay more in income taxes to support schools and other public services than some of the largest corporations doing business in Oregon. We ask the legislature to enact corporate tax disclosure and let the public know which corporations are paying their fair share.

First Name*

Last Name*

Email Address*

Zip Code*

This petition sponsored by BlueOregon Action and Oregon Center for Public Policy. By signing, you agree to receive email updates from BlueOregon Action and Oregon Center for Public Policy about this petition and other critical issues. (You may always unsubscribe, of course.) Learn more.