When it comes to love you can either be in control of where your life is heading and the relationship you attract and create, or you ca be at the mercy of...

"hoping it will happen."

"faith it will happen."

"praying it will happen."

"waiting for it to happen."

So many women believe that longing for a man and waiting until the supposed "right time" for it to happen are enough—all that means is that they aren't willing to do their part, to put themselves out there, learn to tap into the Femininity, understand men and how to love them and do what they have to do. That is what being addicted to comfort is—we want it all done for us, with no risk, effort, investment or action on our part—except it doesn't happen like that.

The best results are when we choose to partner with the Universe and that means—doing our part.

You've been given time here on Earth, but it’s your choice to steward it with wisdom, or let the years be wasted.

Control, control, control—that is why we chase a man. We don't know how to attract the love we want and so we have to find ways to force it, control it, make it happen, and force a man to like us, commit to us and be with us.

We stalk him on social media.

Text him just to say hi.

We put on an image, we try to be sweet, nice and do things for him.

We aggressively try to be nice if you know what I mean—trying hard to impress him, convince him and win him over.

All of those are the exact opposite of feminine energy whose foundation is emotional freedom. You aren't free—therefore he pushes away from the prison you are in of control.

And we control because we are disconnected from our Feminine power and because inside we allow fear and desperation to be the only means we USE to get love. It's unattractive—and no woman in her masculine energy is going to attract the sort of masculine man she wants.

That's when men pull away, ghost us, make convenient excuses like saying "he really wants to see you but he just had a family emergency or he has been super busy lately." Or maybe he does see you for coffee, or invites you to hang, or may even till take you to dinner one last time… but its clear he's no longer excited or making an effort and you somehow feel you've been put in the booty call or friend zone.

Masculine men are not attracted to Masculine energy in women. Men don't like to be controlled, chased, pursued...

How attracted would you be to a guy who takes 2 and a half hours to do his hair, nails and makeup before seeing you, who expects you to send him flowers and chocolates, and wants you to make all the plans and be the man?

No problem there with anyone doing it, I am saying that if you are the Feminine energy—you will be attracted to masculine energy (and this goes beyond gender).

Feminine energy, the real feminine energy, not the outer fake feminine energy a lot of people are teaching nowadays, triggers intense attraction in men.

And knowing how to differentiate between them can mean night and day in saving you precious years of your life—so you can make room for the right men in your life?

It's vital to understand what type of man you are with and where he is at in life and why certain men will make you feel in certain ways—and to know if you are truly compatible with this man or not.

After all we have a lot of clients who want to honor their family reproductive years and not waste time on the wrong partner.

A man that isn't aligned to you is a man you will never quite feel like a woman with, and will not be able to give you what you want. But once you find a man that is—then everything begins to work and flow, there is ease and peace, fulfillment and happiness...

Being parented well—is being prepared well for life and in an ideal world we all would have been raised not just in a protective environment, but in one where our emotional world was nurtured and we came out of it whole inside—as well as one where we were prepared…

To be parented is to be prepared for life—to have been taught about men, relationships, femininity… instead of being thrown to life left to figure it out on our own (leading to so much loss, grief and heartbreak.)

Prepared to know how to navigate life...

To navigate finances

To navigate friendships

to navigate love, attraction, femininity and men.

To know when to set boundaries and when to move on, to know when to protect ourselves and when to avoid painful losses that happened because we made mistakes...

However acting imperfectly is part of being a growing soul. Making mistakes and holding opposites within you—both a wounded little girl and a spirit and being of great light… coexisting in either an internal world of self shame or in a world inside that every day is gaining ground in becoming more loving to herself.

Forgives. Forgiveness. Forgiveness...

→ Forgiving yourself for not having known better. Or for having known better and still having done it anyway because you needed for so much inside or you felt out of control or your emotions took control.

And empowerment, empowerment, empowerment—(learning now what you need to do to figure this out so you can have your dream of love and a fulfilling life.)

And a recommitment to Parent yourself which means to empower yourself, to mentor yourself, to get the support you need, to have your back and to keep learning—while always making room for all of the messy, imperfect mistakes you are still going to make.

I want you to share with us 3 things you forgive yourself for (or want to)... mistakes you made where you were far from perfect.

Comment below—what do you (hand over your heart) forgive yourself for? Name 3 things that caused losses for your life, that you mourn, grieve, regret.

Addiction is one of the easiest ways to get out of balance… and we can get addicted to anything, anytime.

When we are addicted, our focus goes on to one thing as the sole place we get most of our needs met:

Social Media Obsession (being on all day)

A man (Pining and obsessing about him all the time)

An infatuation (I can't live without him even though I just met him)

A relationship (I have no identity except through him)

Being a mother (My entire identity is my children)

Work (My whole life is my company or my job)

And that focus is taken OFF everything else.

And because we have a lot of needs, if our focus is on one thing, we either expect that one thing (or one man) to meet all of our needs, OR we neglect our needs and we become self-neglected...

Our health goes out the window—and we become tired, fatigued, broken down, irritable, unhappy, nervous wrecks… and we slowly begins to burnout.

Anytime we are burning more than we are putting in—we go into debt… and debt is NEEDINESS. We start to feed off of everyone around us, the man we are dating more than we should, we take, we drain, we show up irritable, self centered, and off centered.

And when we are in neediness ladies, we give more than we take and that breaks down relationships, love, intimacy and attraction...

Who is attracted to someone who is always needing validation, approval, etc.?

So Balance is the recognition that addiction can happen any time… and as soon as we are out of balance we become needy and EVERY AREA OF OUR LIFE begins to go into chaos, neglect, burnout, breakup, etc.

Balance is a key word for me in 2019… as I live a lifestyle where I prioritize self care, health, wellbeing, balance, needs met, rest, service, work, creativity, and all the other needs I have as a woman.

High Value Women Prioritize Balance

What areas in your life need your self care and attention to bring you back to fullness, health and balance?

The best revenge is to diffuse the need to revenge and refocus all of your energy on having everything you desire and want.

Recently in conversations with clients things like these would come up:

But I gave him so much—and now I want to take it back.

But she benefited so much by being with me, I feel used.

And while we never bypass those emotions, we process them and learn to be with them—I want to offer you a thought. The core pain here is the feeling of being replaced and left behind. Of being used and then discarded… and the focus is off our own power of creation which is in you at all times.

At all times you can (after processing and being with your emotions) move your focus into creating for yourself… opening doors for yourself, getting bigger and better.

The best revenge is a well lived, extremely fulfilling life—full of self-forgiveness, lessons learned and achieved expansion, joy, love relationship and so much more...

This is the secret alchemy of transmuting fear into creation and power.

If you are afraid of being left behind—refocus and move forward at higher speeds with more powerful direction. Create for yourself without waiting for anyone to acknowledge.

Be happy you gave to them, be happy they benefited, and now give to yourself, create openings and expand. Healthy things grow and blossom.

You are never replaceable to your own soul and from your soul comes the power of life to create, care for you, and attract to you everything you desire.

I see this over and over—when a guy can serve you, help you, fix something for you… when he can listen to your heart and emotional world as you seek him out to share your heart… and to need his presence...

He is made to feel like the Man that is there to help you...

It is a potent way of having a Man feel intense feelings for you. He feels seen as a Man, very deeply and this feels like love for him.

So learning to allow a man to help you, receiving from him, being feminine when he doesn't give to you the right way by sharing vulnerably and non-aggressively how you need his help, showing appreciation (authentically because you did allow him to help you)...makes a man feel like a MAN… like a Super Man.

I see this all the time with the men in the my life, not to mention my partner. When a Man feels he cannot help a woman, can't make her happy, she places burdens and expectations on him which he can't meet or ever win at his heart slowly begins to feel smaller and smaller—his soul begins to feel terribly unseen, unappreciated, and dishonored as a Man.

Receptivity ladies, is a HUGE Feminine energetic—going to your Man for help in a heart centered, vulnerable, Feminine way will make him feel Purpose driven in your life and like he is needed as your MAN.

(And I have a feeling you also kind of want him to be that man for you.)

From a healing perspective, I don't believe in labeling anyone—and I advocate personal responsibility over pointing the finger—(and I do believe we are throwing labels such as “narcissist” around nowadays as if they are nothing---> however part of being a High Value Woman is being CLEAR on when to walk away and QUICKLY IDENTIFYING red flags…

Knowing how to separate a quality man from a man that needs no more of your time...

If your relationship is painful, your heart keeps being broken over and over, you are disrespected, manipulated, used and mistreated… or you keep attracting men who are showing red flags...

Although all men (and women) will have some baggage, a large percentage of men are just responding to how we show up—and they treat us as a soulmate, a queen or a buddy or booty call depending on how we show up—they are the best mirrors… some men are dangerous, highly toxic, abusive and very dysfunctional… or simply out to get what they want without giving anything much in return….and definitely not worth one ounce of your time beautiful!

When you get good at identifying good, available, quality men—you will be able to know and feel peaceful about walking away into thousands of other options of men from a man who doesn’t deserve any more of your energy.

I hear this a lot from men," I don't know any man who is married and is happy. My best friend was full of life for all the years I knew him. He married this woman who literally keeps him on a leash and his light just went out. He is a ghost of who he was. No man I know who is married feels appreciated, in fact they all tell me they feel neglected and like nothing they do is enough."

"I sometimes feel women are open and beautiful and so fun and playful and as soon as they want commitment or something from you they change, no more fun at concerts and intimate talks, it's like it all just changes."

Entrapment and Obligation are men’s 2 biggest fears when it comes to commitment—when you step into your High Value energy as a woman and irresistible goddess, you learn how it is so easy for us as women to put our happiness on a man and to use obligation to try to get what we want— when we don’t have to do any of that! Your feminine energy and your authentic are so powerful! Powerful enough to inspire all the devotion, commitment, fulfillment, passion, attraction and more with the man who is right for you.

We believe in women showing up in their best for relationships and also receiving the BEST they deserve from men. It goes both ways.