Post-pregnancy Oscar Week

Well, there’s no better time to rejoin the scene than this week, Oscar Week, especially when your husband is up for a Best Actor Award.

This is Penelope Cruz yesterday with Javier Bardem leaving Jerry Bruckheimer’s office in Santa Monica after a meeting. She must have been there on Pirates business which opens in May…sooner than you think. A lot of promotion starts happening well in advance. Like interviews, photo shoots, especially for magazines because they have such ridiculously advanced deadlines.

I know. That’s not important to you now because you’re too busy checking out her post-baby body. What? Don’t front like you’re not eyeballing that sh-t up and down. We are gossips. It’s what we do.

Pene has always had good legs. Good legs help a lot during bounce back. P’s got good legs and great hair and big breasts and an almost flat stomach. I’ve had no baby and have to bust my ass at the gym later, every day, so I can breathe in my Oscar dress. And I’m trying, real hard, to “Yeah But” her only I’m coming up totally empty. P Cruz is HOT.

I want to see this in a gown on the carpet on Sunday. Please you two, finally, walk your asses down the red carpet. TOGETHER.