9 most expensive gaming gadgets you’ll never need

Gaming isn’t exactly a cheap hobby, but there are some things that even the biggest budget wouldn’t accommodate. Or shouldn’t, even if it could.

RailDriver Train Cab

At a recommended retail price of $300 (±R2,490), the RailDriver Train Cab probably won’t break your bank account, but it probably would break any and all attempts to justify its purchase.

Compatible with, like, both train simulators ever released.

Optimus Maximus gaming keyboard

Every key is an individual 48 x 48 pixel, 65,536-colour, 10 frames-per-second, customisable OLED screen. You’d expect nothing less for $1,700 (± 14,000). Perhaps not unexpectedly, the Optimus Maximus was also a commercial flop – in fact, it looks like it may never have actually shipped to retail, although somebody paid $2750 for one on eBay (±R22,800).

Weighing in at 175kg, and featuring three synchronized 19-inch LCD monitors, an integrated PlayStation 3, a webcam, a 7-inch LCD touchscreen control interface, its own lighting system, an all-leather recliner, wireless noise-canceling headphones, and a Blu-ray disc player, Novelquest’s Emperor 200 basically replaces your whole apartment. So the $40,000 (±R331,700) you save on rent then, you can spend on this instead.

There’s no shower attachment, but that just means you won’t need to persuade your girlfriend or boyfriend, because you won’t have one anymore.

Steel Battalion controller set

Capcom’s Steel Battalion for the original Xbox came bundled with this $200 (±R1,650) purpose-built controller, featuring more than 40 buttons and a pedal set. It only works with Steel Battalion and the 2004 sequel Steel Battalion: Line of Contact.

Not pictured: the back of the cupboard, the dust.

Stadium Events

Originally launched in North America in 1987, the English version of Bandai’s Stadium Events was one of only two titles released in the West for the Family Fun Fitness mat, a running pad accessory for the console. Nintendo later acquired the rights to the FFF mat technology and rebranded it as the Power Pad.

At the same time, the game and the FFF mat were recalled and presumably dumped in the E.T. pit (or wherever). Both had previously been available in limited quantities, estimated at around 2,000 units produced and only 200 sold. Now, just 20 or so copies of Stadium Events exist, and in January last year, a factory-sealed copy of the game sold on eBay for $22,800.00 (±R180,000). That’s not bad returns on a $49.95 investment in 1987.

Yes, NES games cost $49.95 in 1987. But look at those amazing graphics.

Gem-studded Xbox 360

I can’t decide which is worse – the instant nausea-inducing colour scheme, the Lara Croft likeness, or the $11,000 price-tag (±R91,200).

More than 43,000 gems laid down their lives – and their dignity – to make just one of these.

PS3 Supreme

Proving once again that all the money in the world can’t buy you class, it’s the PS3 Supreme. This $320,000 (±R2,650,000) 22-carat gold-plated console also features a disc loader lined with 58 0.50-carat diamonds, just in case there was any remaining doubt that the buyer has zero taste whatsoever.

Hookers and blow sold separately.

Wii Supreme

Same deal as the PS3 Supreme, but for $480,000 (±R3,980,000). To put it in perspective, that’s almost half a million dollars for something you’d have to hide when people came over to visit.