All media contacts, please consult actual booming experts. There are about a hundred. If you can't find one in time for your show tonight, you're a fucking bad journalist. Now, finding one that's not afraid of BP? That might be a challenge, but you're fucking up to it.

From June 3, 1979 straight through March 23, 1980, an oil well in the Gulf of Mexico was spewing up to 30,000 barrels per day. In just 200 feet of water, the Mexican oil company Pemex scrambled to shut down the Ictoc I exploratory well, but to no avail.

The gusher kept flowing, despite attempts to lower a "cone" or "sombrero" onto it. Officials tried to inject the gusher with drilling mud and fire metal orbs into it, but that didn't work either. Finally, after months upon months of oil spray, relief wells succeeded in relieving the pressure, giving conventional methods the leverage to seal the gusher.