More than two-thirds of Liberal and NDP
supporters favour the idea of the parties forming a coalition in the
event of a Conservative minority in the Oct. 19 election, according to a
new poll by Forum Research.

Of Liberal supporters surveyed, 68 per cent
support a coalition, while 75 per cent of NDPers favour the idea ––
about half of all Canadian voters.

Support for a coalition was strongest among young people surveyed — 57
per cent of those between the ages of 18 and 34 favour the idea.

They also listed the following things that the rich should be exempt from:

Walking if they don’t want to (and thus should be able to snap their fingers and have nearby poorer people carry them)

Having to avoid destroying the environment

Accepting others have feelings

Penalties for slapping those poorer than them

When asked what evidence there was that this would lead to kidnapping given that “it’s totally not a thing” and “I’ve never heard of this ever being a problem” the Coalition replied “classic Labor party, always trying to put us in danger by bringing up lack of evidence that we’re in danger. One day an ISIS cyber-criminal will hack your metadatas and convert your millions into a death cult and then you’ll be sorry!”

When asked if this was simply a fear mongering tactic to allow large companies to avoid paying taxes properly the Coalition politicians simply scoffed.

“Since when have conservatives been on the side of big businesses?” they asked, laughing uncomfortably and sweating profusely in ways they didn’t know were previously possible as they tried to hide their political donations from big businesses. “That’s… haha… um… uuhhhhh. Wrong? Yeah. Classic Labor just making shit up for political agendas. Hahaha… aaah…”