20 Reasons Why Orlando Bloom's Split From Miranda Kerr Makes Him The Unluckiest Guy In The World

I don’t feel too guilty calling Orland Bloom the unluckiest guy in the world, because he is the unluckiest guy in the world: he and his wife, Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr, have split after three years of marriage. Not to pile onto an already emotionally-charged issue in a stranger’s life, but: oh boy. Things can’t be easy for Bloom right now, so he probably shouldn’t log into Tumblr to see all the GIFs featuring his now ex-wife, because that’s what all famous pretty people do; look at their equally famous and pretty partners on blogging platforms.

…On a tropical island Leonardo Di Caprio suddenly wakes up. His senses have detected a disturbance in the hotsphere. A model is on the market. And not just any model. He slowly stands up, puts on his head and dials his pilot.
“Get the jet ready. Pretty eyes is finally free of the elf. And this time she will be mine”