my life, and also hi

I told y’all earlier about how I applied to a series of short stories, and was waiting for an answer? It’s here!

[hacker voice] I’M IN

I’m so excited??? It’s gonna be a long project, and really fun to do!! There’s gonna be a Kickstarter and everything. The proceeds for the books sold go to charity! If you guys wanna support this you can go to spnshortstories.tumblr.com !!

So I moved to an international area with my parents a few years ago. Now, when I read up on it, I was a bit concerned, bc it said a lot of things about how people develop racist views and shit, and I did not want to be That Guy. I thought it was gonna be a big thing. Only: I didn’t count on the international school bit. This is where it gets racist and weird:

So bc I’m in an international school, I actually had a lot of stereotypes broken that I hadn’t even realized I’d had. It has been great for getting me to be more open-minded towards people and cultures. But my parents seem to be having the opposite effect on them; they’ve, over the last few years, started stereotyping people from accent/race/country/etc, more and more. Like, “Oh, [person] that I’m working with that’s a client is from [country of origin], so I don’t trust them, y’know, those people are just [insert stereotype].” And at first, they’d even say “I’m not trying to be racist…” and I??? Just??? How can they not see what is happening to them? Like I’ve pointed it out and they scoff?

It’s frustrating that I’ve learned so much good, and they’re getting the opposite effect. I understand the research, now. 😦

So I just moved into a new house, right? And it’s those movers that unpack your shit. Not like sorting, they just take it out of the boxes and put it in stacks. That’s both cool and fast. I like that.

So the last few days I’ve been unpacking, right? As in sorting though stuff and re-arranging. My room was kind of a mess because of it, but I knew where things were and what to do. I’ve got this shit planned.

Rewind to a few months ago: my parents want to get a live-in maid. I’m like: ,,,,eh, I’d really not like it if a stranger lived in our house?? But it happened because it’s cheaper than weekly I guess. Fastforward to moving: I still don’t know her that well, and but she hasn’t triggered my weird trust issues yet, as mostly what she had done is straighten things up and clean.

So. I have all the stacks and stuff in my room. I have a PLAN. And I, to preserve my plan, ask her to not clean my room because I’m still sorting through stuff. She says ok, asks if she can just straighten a bit. I’m like. Eh, ok. Not comfortable with it, but not gonna be rude or whatever.

I get home that evening, and guess fucking what. All my sorting piles: gone. All my progress on finding anything: gone. My literal, actual furniture: MOVED. My belongings? She went through fucking everything.

Now I don’t have anything I don’t want people to see — this, though. This was a major invasion of privacy. This wasn’t just moving things to be able to walk. This destroyed all my progress of both unpacking, and with basic trust of my things. So not only was my plan disrupted (which bc I’m autistic is really stressful for me), all of my personal belongings had been gone through by practically a stranger. In what way is MOVING FURNITURE straightening up???

So I stayed in my room, pissed off, until I was so upset I cried. Which just is more upsetting. And today I took my room keys and locked the door before I left because she caused my trust issues and anxiety to flare up. Thank for that.

The forest was white. Disturbingly so, though the inhabitants wouldn’t blink twice. The pale, thin trees seemed to warp in odd ways, drawing you in, your attention becoming static and unchanged. Was it night or day that you first saw them? Do you know? The sky is red, now. It has always been red, a portion of your mind suggests. It will always be red. But you could’ve sworn it was nighttime when you got lost…three days? Six days? Forever? You realize you don’t know.

The sky is orange when you turn away from the warping trees (?) to the ground. It is white like snow, but hard like ice, and your feet don’t seem to leave footprints in the white. Out of the corner of your eye, a white shadow passes. You turn toward it. You think you are North? This must be a wolf. You think…you think that you don’t know what wolves look like, but what else could it be?

The wolf (?) has thick, iridescent pale grey fur along its body. Its eight legs stretch five feet high, pearl scales glittering under the teal sky. Its tail stretches out of sight, dripping a black slime that is stark against the unending whiteness. There are three tails…no, two…wait, you realize. The tails reforms and separate at will. The wolf’s (?) shoulders have a large, angry red crest, with a thin membrane inbetween. The wolf looks at you. Its mouths open in a static-blare scream, and its eyes blink in an odd pattern.

You blink. The wolf (?) is gone. A shiver runs down your spine. You turn. There is just more endless whiteness. The black sky glows with the hundreds of fireflies. You catch one. You look into your hands; There is no firefly, just a oddly shaped fairy light. The fairy light stretches its steel wings and takes flight. You do not reach for another.

Where are you? The pink sky is warping when you look up. You find that odd. The sky has always been pink, why is it changing now? A seam splits open, and a creature of teeth and blood and clouds comes out, finding traction on the impossibly tall forest. You do not know this creature. You have always known this creature.