Article: 288719 of talk.bizarre
From: riazfab@tycho.physics.purdue.edu (Riaz F Abdulla)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: My Dad vs. the Cat
Date: 2 Dec 1996 16:03:07 GMT
Organization: Purdue University
Lines: 39
Message-ID: <57uujr$po4@mozo.cc.purdue.edu>
My father, my Grandmother, and our cat (Henry) are trapped in some kind of
hideous karmic maw beyond their ken. I wonder if they realize if it is the
case that they are an indivisible trio linked by mystical forces. I think
that they do not realize this.
My grandmother: Her brain is a goddam thermodynamic miracle. It is my belief
that all her neurons are misfiring simultaneously with the
result that she is unable to do anything. Every microstate
within her head is realized and the result is net cancellation
of signal so that she simply sits and stares, as her neurons
rage endlessly.
Sometimes a stray magnetic field from a light switch perhaps,
perturbs her equilibrium state so that she utters completely
meaningless propositions: "Henry likes you," she will say as the
cat lacerates my fingers and farts in my face. Or: "I dorn't
like thiess greasy Amehrdican foord... Will eeoo gorto Hahdeez
and gert me a Fish Sandwich. I like that..." Whenever she
eats, the cat eats as well. I might have mentioned this
previously, and so I will not bore you with details. It is
enough to say that she is convinced that if she eats then the
cat need not be fed, and vice-versa. If Grandmother is not
happy, then the cat meows and vice versa. It is more than
symbiosis. It is Ka-tet.
Next: My Father.
In episodes to come: My Father, My Grandmother, and the Cat.
Armageddon and the rearrangement of the food
Riaz