By Ovid Publius Hadweenzic, Ph.D., a peripatetic professor of pre-recorded pauses, past-life parables and punctuated premonitions, on sabbatical from the Faculty of Divinity & Waterpolo at University of MaxiMegalon to study the origin of the universe and who makes the best banana fruitcake

If you were born without wisdom teeth, haven't got a clue what a tree of knowledge looks like, or your flair for