Facing the Truth

Facing the Truth

I have started this blog about 15 times in the last few days. Crossed out lines, ripped out pages, thrown a few pens across the room and hit the delete key a hundred times.

I had so many dreams and plans for 2018. So many races I wanted to do. A worldwide triathlon project I was impatient to get my teeth into. A new website I spent hours working on…

And my body has said NOT YET.

All was going pretty well in Lanzarote. If you discount getting stuck on a volcano, storm Emma flooding the house and a bloodied knee, I got some really good training done in six weeks. I found my bike legs, swam a 100×100 swim set and was able to gradually start running again. I’m pretty damn fit for someone who only picked up training again in December.

Maybe it was all a little quick. Four weeks into running my foot starting twinging, then complaining a little more loudly.

Jeez woman, would you give me a chance to breathe here?

Beach runs in Costa Teguise

Complaining is the main word. It’s not broken, it’s not torn again, but it’s weak and it’s certainly not ready to stand on a start line.

Triathlon is not something I can or want to do half-heartedly. Unfortunately, the bottom line is that if I don’t race, I don’t earn any money. Stark reality staring me in the face.

And my damn pride. I will stubbornly refuse to accept money from any sponsor if I can’t repay my part of the contract by doing my job as an athlete. I wasn’t brought up a beggar.

And I wasn’t brought up to stand and wait for life to turn around on its own

Believing I could race this Spring was a bit of a gamble and it could very well have paid off, but right now it’s time to take a step back and not try to rush desperately back to competition.

Obviously I am not going to turn into a couch potato overnight. I live to train, and if I don’t get my daily endorphin fix I go crazy. But it’s time to lift my foot off the gas before I injure myself seriously again. Time also to invest in some professional projects that have been on the table for a while.

Professional projects on the table… never without my bike!

I’ll come back to triathlon; whether it takes two months or eighteen, I’m not done with swim-bike-run yet. But first you’ll see me behind a screen, behind a camera and on a little road bike which looks like it belongs to some kid… You’ll probably also see me on a bike race start line.

Don’t look back – that’s not the way you’re going

I would like to thank all the people who continue to stand by me and support me on this journey – it’s rocky, but you make it roll!