God I feel so unbelievably nautious right now... I feel like I could really throw up. I don't ever want to smoke that many cigarettes again... yes folks, I broke down and bought cigarettes. I am so not proud of myself for that one and they are nasty and gross and they made me feel sick. I know it must have been the cigarettes because I only had one drink and that was hours before I started to feel shitty like I do now. I went to bed feeling so jittery and wishing I hadn't smoked. I have learned my lesson.

ok, so now a little explanation as to why I smoked... yesterday at work I was feeling extra horrible and depressed, went to my car again at lunch... then someone I used to chat with came in to the store. I was just staring off into nowhere feeling blah as usual and then turned around and there he was. He asked if I remembered him and I said yes. Then he asked me how things are and I just said "oh, not so great." I did the embarrassing thing and told someone I barely know that I was going through a really bad breakup. He did the sympathetic thing and said he's sorry and that it sucks. We chatted some more and he asked me if I wanted to see a movie. At first I wasn't sure, but then I decided that I might as well. It's better than sitting at home crying and feeling sorry for myself. I thought it would be good for me to get out the house and make a new friend. I had already bought the cigarettes a couple days prior, but he is a smoker so i socially smoked with him. We saw An American Haunting (which was mostly lame and ended up being about rape and incest...) and then afterwards we decided to go to a bar in Portland. We went to the Galaxy and both sang a song at karaoke. He drove me back to my car and I was talking about Bif Naked so I turned on my stereo to play something. That was a dumb idea... I didn't think I had it on too long, but apparently I did because I killed my battery. Both of us are retarded and couldn't figured out how to use my jumper cables so I called Alex and miraculously he was awake and talked me through it. Car started and we chilled for a bit while I let my car run and replenish it's juice. It was a pretty fun night and I'm glad I got out of the house. I got home at 4 am after all this stuff happened. Man I feel like shit today.... I hope it passes. Anyways gotta shower before work.