Introduction

Well, I'm 18 years old, from England, and I'm a guy... I started writing poetry when I had turned 16 years old, and I haven't written anything since shortly before my 17th birthday. Generally, my poems were influenced by many things. They were usually based on events in my life, or my life in general, or feelings that I had at the time. However, sometimes these things are veiled and put forward as something else. The ways in which the poems are put across were influenced by various things as well, books, movies, everything really. My writing ability is quite strange, in that I could be given months to write something, and will not be able to do it if I do not have the right frame of mind during that time. However, I can knock them out at a rate of a dozen in a couple of hours. I stopped writing simply because there was nobody to read and understand my stuff. I enjoy feedback, it's what encourages me. I like people to tell me what they think of my writing, to give suggestions, even to analyse it. So please, feel free... deception15@hotmail.com Or just leave me a Comment in the Guest Book..

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Lose Myself, Lose Control.

This poem actually started when I tried to see how well I could rhyme words off the top of my head. I sat down, and began to write phrases, that would make sense in some way, and wrote them all down. This was the result.

I don't think there was a particular reason for the way this poem is. However, I have been involved with drugs a fair bit in my life, so, the references to being high may come from that. Also, at that age, I had problems with alcohol and depression. There are phrases influenced by experiences brought on by both drugs and alcohol. There may well be some reason on a psychological level that it came out like this, if you figure it out, let me know :P

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The next Poem

"God's Euphoria". I think it's pretty obvious what this is about. It's about a heroin addict that wants to quit but can't. It's as though there is something inside him that doesn't want to, will not, and knows it will continue. But on the surface, he wants to quit, tells himself he can and will do it.

This is my personal favourite, and was based on how I didn't like the way my life was going at the time, and wanted so badly to change it for the better, but although i thought I wanted this, when it came to putting in all the effort, and actually changing, there was something holding me back. It was like my inner self didn't want to change, I was always in two minds, trying to push myself forwards, and holding myself back at the same time. The style of writing was influenced heavily by the book "Trainspotting" by Irvine Welsh, the film of the same name, and the film "The Basketball Diaries".

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Last but not Least is "The Lights"

This poem, is literally the last experience of a man that got into something that was way over his head. He has woken up in a strange place, blinded, and in pain. He doesn't know what is happening, until he hears the click. The click is supposed to be that of the hammer being pulled back on a gun. This is when he realises what is happening, and accepts his fate.

During my life, I have been involved to quite an extent with criminal activity, and have known a lot of gangs and gangsters. I never really thought about it, since it was something I had grown into from a young age. When I wrote this, it was when I'd got into something of a feud with a major local gang. At the time my life was in danger, and it caused me to take a step back and think about my life and my involvement with these people for the first time. I realised I was in over my head, and when I put pen to paper later that night, "The Lights" was what came out.