I consider both my wife and me to be level-headed, as much as any parents born in the late 20th century who are raising children in the 21st century can be.

Despite this, we’re seriously considering pulling our oldest son out of school in response to the school shooting crisis, and it’s led to a discussion around homeschooling that has me worried about our relationship.

I’m struggling with the fact that we have differing approaches to keeping our son safe. My wife is advocating for homeschooling him. She has lots of good reasons, many of which I agree with, but quite frankly we both have college debt, and being a dual-income household allows us to do things like go on vacations that would be tough if I was the only one working. (She makes better money than I do, but hasn’t asked me to be the one who stays home.)

To try to reach a compromise, we’ve discussed bulletproof backpacks and some other stuff. I’m not sold on sending an eight-year-old to school with a bulletproof backpack. They cover half of your body and don’t work against the type of weapons that mass shooters are using, but I digress. We thought about something like a cover me-seat but aren’t sure his school would let him keep it at his desk.

If my wife decides she’s going to quit her job and homeschool our kid, I will be supportive, but I LIKE the fact that I can talk to my wife about all the drama, politics, stress, etc. of working in an office. After our son, and whether to plant cherry tomatoes or grape, our office jobs are probably the main thing we talk about. Being married to someone who probably more adept than myself in navigating the world of work makes me happy. Should I be concerned that we’ll lose that connection if she stays at home?

I feel a bit neurotic about all of this, not the least of which is that this whole thing has been provoked by the fact that we’re concerned for our son’s safety, and we probably shouldn’t be. Thanks in advance for the input.