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As The Masters tee off today — complete with cigarettes and littered beer cans everywhere — we cast our eyes again to Jim Nantz. After playing toadie to Billy Packer for a while — and is there a worse possible job description on earth than "Billy Packer's toadie?" — Nantz heads to Augusta, a place he calls "better than any event I could ever cover."

At first, it seems like no human being has ever been more ideal for Augusta and Hootie Johnson than Nantz, who seems about as white-bread and WASPy as they come. To quote Straight Bangin', "Simply put, he is the blazer-clad apotheosis of the golf WASP. The big smile, the soft hair, the conservative sensibilities, the ersatz charm, the Pollyannaish morality, the bland sense of humor—he's got it all."

Straight Bangin' points out that in spite of this picture, Nantz is not Jewish (he married a Jewish woman), which is reassuring, because if Jim Nantz is Jewish, we don't know anything anymore. Nantz is kind of a blank man, which is probably what makes him the perfect CBS broadcaster; bland, inoffensive, empty, he takes on the character of whatever surrounds him. Though with company like Billy Packer and Hootie Johnson, that's pretty much just as bad.