I feel like I'm dying! Please help!

Sarah - posted on 06/19/2012
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I will try to make this short and to the point. If I don't get help my kids are going to suffer even more because they will not have the mom they deserve. I really need some help. I am so sick and tired of being depressed and not finding a med that helps me that I feel like I cannot go another day feeling like this. I can't even play with my kids anymore. I don't even have the strength to open up a sippy cup. Sometimes I don't even want to go into public. I seriously feel like something inside of my body is dying. I am crying all the time and it's hard when I have 5 kids to tend to and a husband. I have been to therapist and doctors (because I have osteoarthritis) and nothing they have given me has helped. I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish I could have my life back. Just in the past year I've gained 30 lbs. I hate myself right now. Any advice?? Also my children have not been to a sitter in over 2 and half years.

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Erin - posted on 06/19/2012

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My first thought is that you should contact a mental health professional. Second thought is think of something that you liked to do that was physically active and find a class or gym that offers that something. And third, and this is just because I have faith, pray. If the third doesn't work for you or isn't your belief system, feel free to ignore it. You want help and are reaching out for it. That's the first step.

Umm, from the depression angle, pick yourself up and do what you don't feel like doing.I understand not wanting to go in public, however, grab a shower and go. (I've been there!)Clean one room or one spot at a time. No time frame on it.

Your kids have each other to play with, maybe playing with them is something that you need to put on the back burner for now.

From the osteoarthritis angle, I know that some of the work is almost impossible and I honestly can't help. I know it's not the same but sometimes the bottoms of my feet hurt so bad I can't be on them. I tend to think that it's my weight, but I know that it is something else I just don't want to really know. Until you can get a handle on the pain, only do what you can without hurting. What about finding someone to help with the housework?

On the weight gain, I have to push myself to get off the couch to do things and when I don't my weight goes up. (I'm in TOPS so keep track weekly)

Remember, you are special, try to stop hating yourself. After the shower, put on your make-up and lace up your shoes. Do what you can and know that your kids love you and need you.

There are people here for you and by asking for help you are willing to try something.

Feel free to ignore this as well: pray. There is a reason you are here.

A few things jump out - oesteoarthritis (sp?) - have you looked into celiac's disease? People with celiac's disease often have OA as well as depression, weight gain (or loss) thyroid issues as well as a whole range of other issues. Going completely Gluten-free can be tough - but the difference in health is amazing - so worth it.

Also check your thyroid levels - but not just he regular TSH many drs test - check your Free T3/T4 as well as progressive TSH levels. A single TSH level will give you hardly any information at all - before getting the blood work done - do a google search of normal levels - write them down - and bring them with you to the Dr. Most people feel best when their blood levels are on the hyper end of normal so if normal range is 1-6, then you'd want your levels to be between 1 and 2 (hyper TSH means lower number). Also many Dr.s will not treat a hypo T3 level, however your T3 levels will often effect your body even more than your T4(TSH levels). So if your T3 levels are anything other than on the slightly hyper end of the spectrum, then get treated for hypothyroidism. If you're normal, but not on the end of the spectrum that feels good to you, then treating you can't hurt, but not trying could mean never feeling human again. Even if your blood work is perfect talk to your Dr about doing a trial to see if you'd do better on the hyper end of normal - you don't want to send yourself to being actually hyper - stay within the parameters - but not he hyper side of things. KWIM?

Increased Vit D does have a lot of benefits for many people - if you're not taking a good multi-vit, I'd highly suggest one as well.

A few years ago I could have written your post - except I wasn't crying - I was angry, emotional, volatile. It was horrid. I was seeing a psychologist for behaviour modification, having panic attacks, told to go on birth control to help the moods, and to regulate a highly irregular cycle. I was told to wear thermal underwear to warm up (despite being in the middle of a very hot summer). I was cold, I was emotional, I was angry, I had no energy, I could barely function, leaving the house was painful - but then I went gluten-free increased my synthroid and added cytomel to my regular medications and things changed instantly. Seriously 2 days later I felt awesome. six months later I was still doing great. I knew instantly when I needed to get blood work done and adjust my doses - I'd start to feel foggy and shaky. It was amazing the difference a small little pill made. Gong gluten-free got rid of most of the pain I'd been having - pain that'd been with me for years was gone. I could hardly believe it!

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Mother Of Pearls - posted on 05/15/2013

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well hun I think you need to take a second and rethink things a bit I know believe you me I know how it feels I been there and I even contemplated suicide at a low point in my life but seriously there are worse things in life and we must be grateful for the lil bit of good in ours you have 5 beautiful wonderful angels that you were blessed with and although its hard just think about the positive things you can do to over come the negative I prayed a lot I mean a lot I prayed and I found one person that I can rely on and talk to to help me threw and listen and hear my cry's and also always remember god never gives us more than we can handle also try looking for a new dr that can help maybe with some medication to maybe relax you its all over whelming but at the end of the day you have a family that others wish they had and you need to take things one day at a time because we are never promise tomorrow so you need to live there here and now let tomorrow worry for its self and another thing maybe find a family member or even a friend that can help maybe stay with the kids for an hour or two so you can maybe take a walk or see a movie or even have coffee with a friend but seriously things can only be as made as we think they are because for ever problem there is a solution and I am here for you if you need me so just try to live love and laugh I did it so can you and im still in the struggle but I have learned to do things and take things one day at a time and one step at a time and do things on my time and as I feel fit hop this helps always here for you friendly mom

My sister is going thought the same situation. To make her feel begets r e and my sister babysit her kids twice a week, so all day she can do her regular stuff. U seriously need a sitter ask your family or friends. If I was your neighbor I would watch your kids so you could take rest. I have two month old and I feel so tired at the end of the day. I cannot even imagine how u go through .. But please you have to live for those babies. Just get some one to help you .. People who can trust your kids with. Just remember the day they were born ..... U be brave

Im sorry ro hear your situation....Excersize is the best medice there is, I have tried to kill myself I have been so depressed, I believe that meds help temporarily especially without counseling for coping skills. I will tell u to find a way to excersize that you love to do anyway and make slow cut backs on picking healthier foods and eliminating bad choices again slowly. My situation is that Im 49 and I have a six yr old and im basically without a place to stay, Im looking for someone to help with their home and kids long term in exchange for a place to live....Im looking to God to help me and let me help others. I am good with kids a great cook and house keeper and I use to be a personal trainer. Its along story how I have arrived at this place in my life. If u want to talk my email is kboettler@yahoo.com and my name is Karen.

Boy does this ever sound familiar! I have Ra and OA plus fibro and raised 5 kids by myself, I swear if it wasn't for my oldest son, sometimes I don't think I would have made it. Of course there was a cost to him from all this, it took a lot of his teen years away which makes me very sad. I tried many different meds and finally ended up on anti depressants and pain meds. It took a lot but finally getting involved with a water exercise class while my kids were in school and seeking God telling him I could no longer do it without him, was what turned my life around. You see I am a bit of a control freak and thought the world will fall apart if I didn't have my hands in everything in my families life. I was simply run completely out! It took a lot just to get those first steps out of the house and to the pool, as I had gained 56 pounds being on one of the medications "Elavil" I was so embarrassed but I just didn't want to feel like this anymore. I found that the medication also sapped any energy I might have. One thing you have to remember is your Doctor works for you! Someone told me that and told me I had the right to fire him/her! How empowering! Well my children are all raised and have children of their own and I am now married, whoever said you can't find love after 40 lied! And I still have all my ailments but they don't have me! Jesus said "Cast all your cares on me and I will care for you." Good luck and I hope you feel better soon. Barbara Holliman

This may no longer be relevant, but as a alternative to anti-depressant you may want to take some of these natural supplements which some of are just as effective as the ones made by drug companies and in many European countries are the main treatments for depression. http://www.nutritioneclinic.com/2012/09/...Also a key to lifting your mood... exercise, set goals and work towards them, find someone who is more unfortunate than yourself or a cause greater than yourself and help them, helping others can help unload you of our burdens whatever they may be. Another thing to consider... some anti-depressants can exaccerbate your condition, I have had patients experience this.

I have been there too. I still struggle at times with aniexty/depression. I had to force myself to do this stuff get out there. Even if you are tired and stress and feel awful push yourself. Get some childcare even if it's just for one day in the week go to the gym go out for a walk and believe me it does wonders. Pamper yourself treat yourself to a new hair style or colour. Have some time in the day that is just for you even if it seems impossible and the day will never end lol you will get through it be good to youself and maybe see a different phys or tell this one I need a change I need something that works better for me.It's taken me months to get to where I am. It's hard to wait through all the med adjustments and you just want to feel better hang in there! You can message me if you need to talk! Or just need someone to tell you it'll be ok!

I don't know what medications you have tried but I found Lexapro to be my life saver. I had many of the same feelings but not nearly the amount of children to take care of. Lexapro made me feel human again. If you haven't tried it I would ask your doctor about it. It seems to work more quickly than other antidepressants I have been on. Good luck and try to think positively. I know it can be hard to do but it really can help sometimes.

Sjoe, my baby! That sounds terrible! Are you seeing someone - a therapist. I too suffer from depression. THe only thing that keeps me going is my relationship with Jesus Christ. Do you know him as your personal saviour? Honestly, if it were not for him, the times of deep depression would have sent me for a knife to my throat. It does pass. I find that working on my thoughts and feelings - unmasking what is actually going on in my heart and mind is helping me. It is not easy going through what you are going through. I want you to know that Jesus loves you and has a way out for you, though I am not sure what that would be right now. It does start with a personal relationship with him though. If you want to know how to get that, pls let me know and I will be happy to share. I will pray for you.

First thing, get a sitter. And go out for a coffee or a walk. By yourself. Part of depression is feeling isolated. Your doctors should have told you it can take a couple years to find a med that works for you. Also, even on the meds you will have off days. I can't even pretend to know how you feel, because depression is different for each person. But, I do know those feelings of helplessness. I know we were raised by our Mom's who "never" took time to themselves, but they did. They would have to. We can not be the Moms our children deserve without having that time away. No matter the job we have, we have time off. Weekends, vacations, etc. And motherhood should not be any different. Do you live near grandparents or aunts and uncles? If you do, ask if one (or a couple with 5 kids) is willing to give you and the husband a weekend away. Explain that the depression is getting to be too much.

Another thing I learned after years of depression, go for a walk. Take the kids and go to a park. Most of that is just telling yourself to get up. That takes a lot of energy and determination. Do it every day. You might find that your mood will too. Fresh air has been known to help relieve feelings of depression. You may also make a friend or 2 with the other parents there.

I hope you take any of these suggestions. Do you have any friends who would be willing to come over and visit? I was on a Vitamin B-complex supplement. It has all the B's in it and helps with your mood. Plus, it can help with a bit of weight-loss.

Good luck and you can message me if you need someone to talk to!!! I have been in that state and am willing to listen!!

hi im Ayman From Egypt and i need advice please i plan to fly to washington DC and to live they said is only the capital city u can found work not easy but can so did u knows any one you trust can support me there for work ? i wish any human bean kind heart can help me as a human bean im normal person just want to live peacefully and build my future and start new life in new country please send to my e mail if you can support me please : martopeto25@hotmail.com

i spoke english And Arabic and chines and my main career is tour guide and tour operator in travel agency and i can work in hotel too and i have 2 years experience in trading from china , the problem to be honest only i have 200 $ USD and my flight ticket i knows is sound like im crazy or stupid or stranger but i swear to god im just normal person want to find real and clean life with people can respect each other and respect they humanity but My country is not Safe for me now and i can not see any future for my self im single 30 years old divorced , please if any one can help me send to my E mail and advice me thank you ver much

excerise,eat something healthy,drink water..do something fun! something u love to do! ive done all of these and im feeling great..i was in the same place as u hunny. dont give up! i promise it will get better!!! I am on prozac for depression and major anxiety. but i think excerise was what helped! I hope this helps alittle bit! u are not alone!-jamie

Depression is a neverending battle for most who have it. Theres not really a simple fix. I fall in and out of it frequently myself. Im in it presently. I tried zoloft for a while which helped but after a while it turns into needing more and more and it just wasnt something i wanted to do. Alot of people say its an imbalance in the brain but honestly im starting to wonder if anyone actually is balanced or if the unbalnced brain is the new normal. For a couple weeks now my depression has spiraled. all i wanna do is sleep. it takes everything i have just to get through the daily tasks like feeding clothing bathing and changing my kids. Im a single mother of 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 9months. Im not working. bills r piling up. my house looks like the staging area for the next world war. and between toddler tantrums, teething, and putting on a happy face long enough to play with my kids for a few minutes here and there it feels like taking care of myself is just not an option sometimes. It sucks theres no way around that. Feeling overwhelmed, stressed and even depressed is just a part of life... for most people. more for some than others. The real thing to focus on is that YOU are the ONLY person who can change it. All week iv been telling myself what i need to do. realistically we dont need 100 other people to coddle us or tell us what to do because we already know. What we need is to force ourselves to get up and do it anyways. when we hit these points of depression we allow ourselves to believe that everything is 1000 times harder than it is. I look at the mess and think theres no way i can clean all this. I look at the tummy thats slowly starting to stick out and think man i need to exercise but the kids wont leave me alone long enough to do it. or i dont have the energy to do it. All you have to do is convince yourself. even if its just for 2 minutes... that its alot easier than it seems. 90% of the time its the truth. I start cleaning... just say ok im gonna throw away all the trash laying around... no more of a commitment than that... and o wow that only took a minute n it already looks better... motivation kicks in a little ans what u thought would take you all day is almost done within 30 mins or an hour. Do it when the kids r napping or outside playing or after they r in bed... god knows they go right behind me and destroy it if i dont. lol. Exercise comes in many forms and when you do exercise, even for a minute it gives you more energy and releases endorphins that bring up your mood. Put on some music and dance around ur living room for a song or two. yes we may look like idiots doing it but it helps. Ok this is getting to be really long so ill wrap it up, im just saying from way too much experience that its easier to let our minds run away with negative thoughts and convince ourselves that everything is just too hard to manage, but give yourself some credit. go with the benefit of the doubt. If you can chase away that negativity even for a few minutes ud be suprised at how much easier those tasks are than you have built them up to be in your mind. One step at a time. dont obsess over everything at once, just take things one little piece at a time. If you try to eat ur entire plate in one bite ur gonna choke. one little bit at a time gives you the ability to enjoy the taste. Hope this helps. Now i need to go take my own advice. These weeks of moping around are beyond their expiration date...Oh, and u have a husband... go smack him ! being a parent means actively participating. he needs to figure that out. this is not the 50s anymore. and if hes not willing to help then tell him to hire a nanny once a week to help out with cleaning etc. You deserve that much respect at the least.

Sarah, I have been in counseling for depression for about 30 years. Also, the meds! It took many years to discover that an anti-depressant just helps one not feel so hopeless. Also found that anxiety needed to be addressed with an anti-anxiety med. keep telling your doctor(psychiatrist), your counselor how you are feeling. It takes weeks for those meds to help...and even if you feel better don't stop taking them...ever! Things will just feel do-able again, not any great ah-ha. At some point try to find a time for you. Dad can take over. Just go wander around your favorite store. I hope you can find a peaceful spot.

You are a very good mother, you want the best for your children and you know your problem and want to do something about it, and there are not many in the world who does!

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) combined with counselling! That's the only thing that helped me, I was diagnosed with serious anger problems. My husband is diagnosed with depression and ADD and he takes meds. It took them 10 years to find the right meds for him, so don't worry, they'll have something for you too, just hang in there. But just taking meds doesn't help either, for the meds to be affective you need a professional counsellor too and I think DBT combined with counselling would do great to not just you, but for everyone! It is not only a method for those with anger problems and depressions, it's for everybody! We all have different kinds of problems (big and/or small).

I think that they should teach this method in school.

Please, read about it and please, consider it, because I thought I was lost and nothing seemed to work for me, but THIS did work and I hope and pray that it will work for you too! Give it a chance.

Please let me know!

Sincerely,

Kamilla

Ps: About praying, please, ask for an answer and he will give you one! He did for me. If you have faith, an open heart and spirit, he will give you an answer, but in his time! And who knows, maybe he already have!

Google Dr John Demartini. He has some excellent books including"count your blessings". Even ggogle his website to get his daily wisdoms. He has some inspiring ideas about depression being an addiction to the fantasy that we are meant to be happy all the time. A different way of looking at things...

In my opinion i've had nervous break downs and depression but just breathe you can stay down beating yourself up. Its unhealthy for you and your family. If you need someone to just listen then there are places out there or if you have a friend that does not judge or make you feel worse then your feeling now just vent to them and hear their OPIONION. maybe you need just a you day, where you relax take a walk once or twice a week go take a hot bath or something that gets your mind off of things. Just pray about it and things will work out .

Get a sitter and force yourself out wit urhusband. Trust me my husband pushes me out all the time. It hurts at first and very difficult but it gets better. The see a psychiatrist have them diagnose and offer meds doesn't mean u have to be on them for ever but at least to get u out of this rut,. I feel ur pain it's hard very hard I'll b praying for u.

Get a sitter and force yourself out wit urhusband. Trust me my husband pushes me out all the time. It hurts at first and very difficult but it gets better. The see a psychiatrist have them diagnose and offer meds doesn't mean u have to be on them for ever but at least to get u out of this rut,. I feel ur pain it's hard very hard I'll b praying for u.

one last suggestion: I think I understand the PURPOSE that is behind this for you dear woman. God is telling me that you are supposed to take this as a mission: to help young women understand -- young teens too -- that one must stop and consider ALL THE POTENTIALITIES of motherhood/parenthood BEFORE they take that huge step in their lives.

If you make this into a labor of love for OTHERS, your OWN troubles will vanish, I guarantee that. You are a witness, A PERSON WITH CREDIBILITY who knows what they are talking about. Take that and make it your mission, because if you have no mission or purpose, even being a mother is often too little to make your life meaningful. And after all, "the meaning of life is to live a life of meaning." (Robert Browning)

You seem to have issues like I have, related to seratonin deficiency, get that addressed with a doctor and then turn this around. Write a book. Become an authority on the topic. Because the purpose of life is to help others, period, and that doesn't mean just your hubby or kids.

I have been there the best thing I ever did was start taking a 30 minute walk every day right after my kids went to school. If u still have a little one at home put them in the stroller. The meds they put me on made me want to just sleep and eat so we changed them like 3 times until we found something that didn't make me feel like that. Just keep trying and see if u can get a friend or family member to take them for an hour or 2 what I do is have one of my in laws take 1 of my 2 kids and I spend quality time with the other we rotate this time so not just 1 kid gets individual attention. The quality time will help u realize that no matter what goes on your kids will always love u.

Do you think this could be post natal depression? It sounds like your husband should be looking after you, not the other way around. Maybe you need to talk with him to give you more help, and you clearly need some YOU time with five kids that has got to be tough. I only have one son, but as soon as my husband comes home I take the dog for a walk, this gives me excersice and free time always from the house, I go in any weather ( let's face it you can dry off if the weather is bad) but I think you really should talk to a profeshanal. Keep strong nothing is unfixable x

Go to the Doctor and TELL him/her that you want both your thyroid antibodies tested. Dont take no for an answer. Tell the doctor you want them tested even if the TSH is ok and you want a copy of the results. If you have any thyroid antibodies, this means your immune system is attacking your thyroid (and making you mega depressed). It sounds as though you have Hashimotos Thyroidosis - slow or hypothyroid. If you get on facebook there are quite a few thyroid help pages -- search Stop The Thyroid Madness. If you google it you will come up with a really helpful site, based on a book with the same name. Hashimoto's is primarily cased by gluten and dairy. Try giving up both for a month and see how you feel. When I did, I lost 7kgs in two weeks and felt so much better. I'm really well now. Ive lost 30kg and am working again and no longer tragically depressed and unwell. I can cope now.

You can get help and support online. Will probably fix the arthritis as well.

I would also stop drinking coffee. It is not very good for your body. Do not drink soda pop and try to eat a very healthy diet. Asking for Gods guidance every day is a very good idea. Try to research more about a healthy diet with lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains and only a small amount of meat and learn to eat that way. You will see that your health will improve much better then taking any anti-depressants. I would not take anti-depressants if I were you. They are not good for you. They are not proven and many people have committed suicide using them. A healthy diet is a much better option.

Oh My goodness i feel soo sorry for you and your family, i just recently started going through anxiety problems that why i joined the group, im`m not a doctor i can only talk as maybe a friend but you really need to try to find the sun shine , let it in and dont let your family fall apart i know what i say isnt going to be easy but i truely wish the best for you and your family....

It's been a couple months since your post. How are you doing sweety? Five kids can really take a toll on you, and you're saying that they haven't been to a sitter in over 2 1/2 years? And you're talking "sippy cup" so I'm also wondering the ages of your kids. Sounds like they're pretty young. Wow. I think you need to hear someone say this... you're a lot stronger than you realize. You're still going and you're asking for help because you recognize that you can't do this alone. That's a sign of inner strength.

Like many others have said, you've a lot to do and you're human so everything shouldn't have to be perfect. I have two and I feel overwhelmed sometimes, so I could just imagine how you're feeling. What helps me is journaling. It's very important to have time to replenish your spirit, your soul. Think of it like having a bank account with money in it. If more is coming out that what is going in, then it'll get empty soon. You sound like you're feeling empty. When you're empty, you can't give anymore. There's nothing to "suck up" and it's not something you can simply "get over." It takes a while to mend when you're feeling broken.

Might I recommend a book? I don't know if you're ready to do any reading but this book helped me at a time I felt like I was at my lowest. The book is Emotional Balance: The Path to Inner Peace and Harmony by Roy Martina. There are some things in it about reincarnation, which I don't believe in and some may find a little mystical, but the other concepts and the affirmations really helped me break through the darkness. I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy and emptiness and loneliness from time to time, but these moments are far less frequent now and they last for shorter periods. It helps talking to positive people, and cutting negative people short with their statements.

I've also learned to play "exercise" games with my kids so that I could get some physical activity... even if it's just stretching or playing catch with them. It gets the blood flowing and really helps my mood. I'm still overweight from my second, and some people just feel the need ot mention it from time to time, you know, because pointing out that you're overweight really helps, right? lol But I don't take them on anymore. Regardless of what you do, say, believe, think etc., there will always be people who have a problem with it. When I was slim (before my kids) everyone always said "you're too skinny, put on some weight", and now that I have it's "you're too fat, lose some weight."

The one lesson that I've learned, and in a sense I'm still kind of learning, is that you really can't please people. Somebody always finds a fault and if you pay attention to what others say you'll really never be happy. I'm still learning to trust myself and be comfortable in my own skin, but I'm liking myself more and more each day. My decisions are mine, mistakes and all, and every experience is an opportunity to learn. Once I started seeing everything as an opportunity to learn and become a better person, regardless of my situation I found that it was easier to deal with. All I did was to step back for a moment and ask myself "what's the lesson in this?" Sometimes I figured it out quickly, sometimes it too a while longer. But I always learned something and I always felt better after that. You see, that way I realized that I'm taking my life into my own hands, one step at a time. They are small steps, but progress is being made and I feel a whole lot better about myself because of that.

So, honey, I'm sorry my post was so long, but like you and many others, I too have felt like I was dying. You have a choice, and you have chosen life so the answers will find their way to you. You already have the answers in you, and you will know what to do as time unfolds. Hang in there.

-FIRST...LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL AND SPECIAL YOU ARE! YOU HAVE KIDS FOR A REASON...BECAUSE YOU ARE A VERY NICE PERSON AND YOU WERE GIFTED WITH THEM AND THEY LOVE YOU AND NEED YOU!

-I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED BEFORE AND THE BEST THING THAT WORKED FOR ME WAS WRITING A NOTE AND STICK IT TO MY MIRROR...THAT NOTE SAID:

-I have NO reasons to be like this, I know sometimes I don't physically feel well, but this is just temporary, I will get better and everything will be back to great :-) I have a family that loves me and that is always there for me...and all the negative feelings I have for myself are just imaginary and they are not real because I know I am a good person with a kind heart and I am surrounded with positive energy and therefore I have to let the negative energy in me get out. I do not hate myself, that hating is just something that does not exist and is only on my mind due to my depression but I will get out of it today and things will be back to positive...well, they have always been positive I just thought they weren't for no reason. Whenever I feel like this, I will look around me, I will notice how beautiful my kids are, I will remember all the support I have around me and I will be ok...I am beautiful and I will put my make up on wear a nice outfit and I will take my bundles of joy out to the park and to the mall for a walk :-) or I can even take them for a swim ;-)

BE POSITIVE AND WRITE THAT NOTE AND READ IT EVERY TIME YOU FEEL LIKE CRAYING...IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU HAVE TO READ THE NOTE FOR MORE THAN 10 TIMES A DAY...THAT NOTE IS THERE FOR A REASON AND IS TO READ IT SO FEEL FREE AND ALWAYS KNOW THAT THAT NOTE IS THERE TO HELP YOU! COPY AND PASTE IT AND PRINT IT...OR BETTER YET, WRITE IT WITH YOUR OWN HAND WRITING WHICH WILL BE EVEN BETTER!!!!! LISTEN TO ME AND DO THE NOTE THING ;-) IT REALLY HELPS!

are you kidding me? get it right with god? if you havent the compassion or intelligence to see this woman is in trouble and begging for help then dont respond to her. raising kids is tough, life is tough, bills, carpool, grocery shopping, cleaning the damn house, packing lunches, dinner ready every night, doctors and dentist, everyone else telling her to suck it up and be a proper mom, etc...my sister-in-law was feeling like this. her husband didnt feel he needed to help around the house, it was womans work! she almost had a nervous breakdown. and believe me, god isnt going to make it better. take one day at a time, try not to stress out for this causes weight gain. go set a bedtime for the kids and go to sleep when they do. give yourself some ME time. even if its only sitting on the couch with a cool drink. if nothing is working stop taking your meds, with doctors approval. let them completely leave your system and go in for new tests. please dont overlook post partum. you couldve had it for years. good luck

Hire someone to clean the house. Really. I have suffered from depression and chronic pain for many years. Even with the right meds. (for both ailments), a few friends to talk to and a little fun every now and then, nothing helped as much as a cleaning woman. So much guilt was alleviated and I could enjoy my home with my family instead of worrying about what I should be cleaning or getting angry that noone was helping. You'll feel better about going out or having a sitter over.

Maybe you need to quit feeling sorry for yourself and get right with God. If it is attention you are trying to seek well quit being so selfish and start being a mother to your children. They don't deserve all your self pity and they sure didn't ask to come into this world so grow up it's time. If you don't like this well I'm sorry you feel that way but this is the truth.

I would advise talking to your Doctor. I am a Mom of five and I feel the same at times. My best friend has five too. She gets in a funk at times. Do something for yourself. Go for a walk, join a group just do something for yourself. I was the same way until I decided that I owe it to myself to take care of me. Good Luck God Bless!!

My daughter had a similar problem, and it turns out she had a very low testosterone (yes, the maile hormone that we have some of) levels. Getting bi-monthly shots has made a tremendous difference in her energy level and emotional level. Good luck!

When my husband was cheating, I went through hell. I cried & begged him to get counseling with me, etc. I went through this for a year. (yah, pathetic) I was terrified to be on my own! I had no idea how I would survive, literally, I believed I would have my final break and not come back. But I had to go. Since I left, my emotional & psychological well being increased tremendously. Because I wasn't right in it anymore. My stress level went down. I'm not encouraging you to get a divorce, I'm just saying if he's causing unbearable stress and you choose to leave you will be ok. Someone suggested a shelter, she was right, they will have access to all sorts of resources.

You need a break from your kids (a sitter), a good therapist, some different meds, and a plan to create a routine that allows time for yourself. You feel depressed because you ARE depressed. And, who wouldn't be with your schedule of caretaking for everyone else but yourself. Take a little time and take care of yourself.

Try phentermine. It is a weight loss aid that gives you energy and helps improve the mood! It helped me lose 20 lbs last year and keep up with my three boys. The worst side effect is dry mouth which in turn helps you drink more water. It is not recommended if you have any heart problems. It has been good to me.

Take all processed foods out of your diet. Eat red, green, and purple things for a majority of your diet. I have seen this before. It is what you are putting into your body that is bad. I saw a lady do this that was on 4 uppers and downers. After a month she was med free. Make sure your doc knows what you are doing so you can be monitored. Good luck.

Sarah, I'm going through a lot of the same issues, though less children and I have an amazing husband, but if you'd like to talk with me I know about pain and depression, and how they feed off of each other. You can contact me at sass_i_am@yahoo.com. I'll be there to listen and offer advice, if you want it.My only idea about getting your daughter to the airport is to speak with whomever she's going to visit, maybe they have an idea and/or money to help. I wish I lived in Iowa, but I'm an Okie! I completely understand why you want to leave, he sounds like an ass! My only concern is too many changes at once could trigger your emotional issues. (Emotional is not the right word, but, since my wreck, I can't recall the words I want, I'm not downplaying what you're going through!) However, you know what your life is and what you can handle, so do what you feel is right! Sarah, I hope you can find yourself again. You seem so much stronger, now, than you did in your original post. Good for you, you did that, all by yourself. You are a strong woman, and you deserve better than your husband! Good luck and God Bless!

So my husband and I are not getting along, told him I was going to leave him, my oldest daughter has to be at the airport wedneday morning at 430 am to catch a 6am flight. I'm stuck with no transportation, no family to help me. I have 5 kids that I have to tug along with me and don't know what I'm going to do because my husband said he will take us to the airport but will not keep our original plan of going to a hotel tomorrow so we don't have to get up at 1:30am to leave (the airport is 3 hrs away). Does anyone know of any resources that can help me? I'm about to pack each kid a backpack and take off walking on the highway, I'm not kidding, I have no where to turn and am breaking down. I live in Iowa (west central Iowa). Someone please help me to figure something out before she misses her flight. Hubby will not let me take his vehicle, nor give me any money.

You are getting lots of recommendations that are all over the place. So, I guess I'll throw in my 2 cents and some are new, some repeats.1. Get a full physical, including a full blood panel. Have your iron levels checked, as well as ALL the tests for thyroid, vitamin D levels, etc. Problems in any of these areas can contribute to your feelings of exhaustion, being tired, etc.2. Get recommendations from your doctor for a therapist, in an office that can prescribe medication. It sounds like you are dealing with significant depression, but I am not a doctor, and am not in a place to make that diagnosis. You also need to be talking with that therapist about your marriage; it does not sound like you are happy at all. If you can't get him to therapy, you can at least work on it for yourself, and where you need to go. At some point, you may have to give him an ultimatum to get him to go.3. You need to find planned time for yourself, every day if you can. Join the Y, put the kids in the daycare for an hour and swim. Or hire a babysitter for a couple hours/day once or twice a week, just so you can have "me" time, even if it is to sit at home and read a book, or go to a coffee shop. If your husband can buy a motorcycle, then you should be able to find the funds to pay for yourself, to get peace of mind on your own, at least twice a week. You are a better mom if you can take care of yourself. It is not selfish, it is what you deserve.4. Have you considered a part-time job, even if it is only 5 - 6 hours/week? Dump the kids on Dad and go work. It will make you feel better to know that he has to take care of them, and you can be out of the house, making friends with colleagues and taking care of yourself.

a shelter is probably your best option. you will get all the assistance you need from them. Just try your best to have an amicable, civilized split from your hubby if that happens, for the children's sake. you can inbox me on fb if you need an ear to listen, although I will be temporarily semi homeless in about 10 days so I might not even have fb for a while. Best to you Sarah!!

I have applied for early head start and my kids are always on the waiting list. Go figure. So I am now struggling with my marriage on top of all this. Told my hubby I'm leaving with the kids when I get paid, got no where to go, but will go to a shelter if I have to. Don't know any other options, but I'm not about to sit back and do everything to please everyone else first and put myself last anymore. It's like I had an apiffany today (dont know if I spelled that right! lol) but I feel lke he's the reason (besides my back pain) that I am in this rut to begin with. I will keep you all posted because in the meantime, there will be no break for me, I've been toughing it out for years alone anyways, even though I've been in relationships, I do all the work for the kids I feel, so whats another two weeks right? Who knows. I can't deal with it anymore, this morning my hands were shaking because of all the stress, I could go on for days but it's just too much.