Battlestar: Cast and crew, I have your Emmy entry right here.

I’m not even going to try to synopsize Friday’s episode. It wove flashbacks in and out of boxing matches, and a written description wouldn’t do it justice. I’ll just hit the highlights (and boy, were they highlights). The crew is taking part in “The Dance,” an event where everyone’s fair game as long as their tags are placed in the box and rank doesn’t matter. As Adama tells Roslin, sometimes when living in tight quarters, petty squabbles become feuds and pummeling each other for a few minutes helps ease the tension.

If you are not a fan of BSG, you must catch this episode in replays, because this one hour of your life will make you understand why the fans are so rabid. I watched it twice (parts of it, multiple times), and I got even more out of it the second time; the lingering glances and brief flashbacks at the beginning were all the more wrenching.

The matches are brutal, especially when compared to the flashbacks of a celebration on New Caprica “17 months ago; 8 months before the Cylon invasion.” The boxing scenes are dark and close, while the celebration has a “county fair” feel with lots of fresh air and cheer. President Baltar breaks ground on “a new tomorrow,” and the cast runs around like giddy high schoolers, especially Roslin and Adama. McDonnell and Olmos’ chemistry is amazing (as always) as they flirt and giggle.

Adama decides to get in the ring after all and challenges the Chief to a match with a “Chief, get your fat lazy ass up here.” Chief doesn’t think he’s serious until Adama knocks him to the ground with a killer punch upside the head. Interspersed are flashbacks to Chief asking permission to take his pregnant wife to New Caprica. Adama originally says no, but a conversation with Roslin makes him change his mind. Apparently, he regretted that decision, as addressed in this episode’s Adama monologue (after Chief wakes up and smashes him around a bit):

“When you stand on this deck, you be ready to fight, or you dishonor the reason why we’re here. And remember this, when you fight a man, he’s not your friend. Same goes when you lead men. I forgot that once. I let you get too close — all of you. I dropped my guard. I gave some of you breaks. Let some of you go before the fight was really over. I let this crew and this family disband, and we paid the price in lives. That can’t happen again.”

Unfortunately for Olmos, the star piece in this week’s puzzle is finding out what exactly happened between Lee and Kara during the missing year (to us anyway) to cause their feud. After Adama leaves the ring, Tigh declares the Dance over, but Kara goads Lee into a match and they proceed to whale on each other. A telling interchange between their significant others, Sam and Dee: “It looks like they’re trying to kill each other.” (Sam) “That’s one perspective.” (Dee)

Meanwhile, we go to the flashback. Kara has “literally drunk Anders under the table,” and she and Lee go down to the beach (or whatever it’s supposed to be — there’s sand). She talks about getting out of the fleet and settling on New Caprica, and Lee asks her if that’s how she wants to spend the rest of her life. They kiss; one thing leads to another, and they make love. Afterwards:

Kara: “Well, that makes things more complicated. What are we going to do?”

Lee: “What are we going to do? We accept it. Tomorrow, I tell Dee, you tell Sam.”

[They kiss. When they pull back, Kara’s eyes show such anxiety, I knew what would happen next and it wasn’t going to be good.]

In the fight, the blows get more desperate, and we flip back to Lee waking up alone. He stumbles back to the settlement and runs into his father. Adama tells him he missed a good morning: (wait for it) Kara and Sam got married, and he gave her permission to leave the fleet. Lee looks like he’s about to pass out, throw up and, well, like his heart’s been ripped out, showed to him and then stomped on. (The Bamber was unbelievable here — I watched and rewound his reaction several times, it was that good. It wasn’t just his words, but his eyes, his throat, his mannerisms.) About this time, Sam and Kara return. Lee wobbles over to offer his congratulations and learns the spontaneous wedding was all Kara’s idea. He goes over to the raptor where Dee is standing and plants a big kiss on her (definitely for show, or maybe to convince himself he can move on).

Back to the fight: Lee and Kara beat (what’s left of) the crap out of each other while quick snippets of their relationship flash. Both exhausted and bloodied, they collapse into each other in a sort of embrace. Kara whispers, “I missed you,” and Lee responds, “I missed you, too,” and the Dance has fulfilled its purpose.

If they aren’t at least nominated for an Emmy for this episode, it’s plain criminal.