FBI AGENTS VISIT FAYNER TO CHECK ON POSSIBLE VIOLATIONS OF TWO 257 SITUATIONS

Fayner Posts: It’s never good being visited by the FBI. It is especially bad when at the time they pull up in their black Crown Victoria you’re busy in the driveway cleaning dog shit out of your car while shirtless and wearing AC/DC pants and blaring Justin Timberlake’s "Rock Your Body" from the car stereo.

That’s what happened to me today.

"Two 257 violations?" I asked.

"That’s what we’re here to find out," said one of the FBI men.

"Okay, fine, so I did have sex with some girl two days before her 18th birthday, but we were in International Waters where the laws of the land are helpless to prosecute. And I never videotaped it for sale. Like I told her at the time, sure the red record button was on but there was no tape in the camera."

"Excuse me?" he replied.

"Go ahead and check all my videos. It certainly isn’t on a tape marked "Scott’s First Dance Lesson" hidden in the wall behind a Martha Stewart poster in my bedroom."

The two G-Men looked totally baffled. The one in charge took his partner back to their car for a minute, had a brief chat then returned.

"Sir, what we are here for are two reports that you violated US Code 257 in the US Highway Laws. According to our information, during an accident at which you stopped to give assistance you were both unprepared to give an injured man First Aid and you failed to ask the driver in the other car to stop smoking, both which are required by law under what is called 257."