I reworked the music of blood 1 between 2007 and 2008 and completed the final version for that time. And yes, I called it rearranged back then, but this is of course no rearrangement in the traditional, ordinary sense. Still, the compositions are so damn good and most parts were already for orchestra, so I edited the files in order to improve the sound and had not much to compose, but it took a long time to change it so that it is pleasing to me: events such as note velocities or track volumes have been adjusted accordingly. Instruments like the timpani have been added to many tracks to create richer orchestral sound. And much more, but there’s hardly anything new, it’s just more orchestral.

Quite some minor corrections to my arrangements and soundfonts are needed, but all midi files were lost because of human mistake (the arrangements are still there) so I am not up to redo everything again. This project shall therefore be deemed completed.Addendum 2018: I discovered the old midi files on a backup CD. So this project is on my to-do list again. I will do a lot more next time. Release: when it’s done.

Many thanks to the gifted Guy Whitmore, Daniel Bernstein and Mike Cody, they have masterly composed the music for the blood series.

2007-2008 version

Get the original complete FLAC-encoded package 🔗. Or else I offer Opus: 🔗

Diesel

So it was a good day yesterday, really. Then I saw somebody using the word ableist here, meaning he is a lefty, and more, a dictator who wants to trim our languages to a politically correct blob of non-coherent sorrys, because somebody may feel offended. Well, that’s the nature of life, get used to it, weak creature!
Now that’s a good way to start an article, no? Prepare for a massacre! But I tried to remain neutral, can’t we just get rid of politics in programming? That’s my idea. Because obviously we’re all different, so we won’t be able to agree in politics, then why don’t we get rid of politics and concentrate fully on coding.

One wrote:

We should not use “insane” in a name because that may be perceived as ableist.

I mean no harm and just wanted to state my opinion, even not going into detail of what I really think, I just said:

no, we should not. Please let’s all work together on software instead of polluting it with so called “social issues” and politics of any kind. Please spare my area of work from left-wing ideas. Thanks.

What’s so bad about programming that it needs the p/c infusion? Why can’t I have my programming safe space, why must it be infected with politics? If people want to feel good, I suggest heroin. If you want to know life, well, than prepare to feel bad. It’s an easy choice. These are not my rules, I’m just stating the obvious, and as a clinically insane guy, I know reality and try not shield myself from evil in the world. I know evil. Evil isn’t even that bad, you just have to remain in control. Now that’s tough.

I went into the bathtub. And came back to feel included:

sgrif:

Objecting to the term “insane” in a feature name in favor of another word is a completely reasonable request. It very much falls under “Using welcoming and inclusive language” which we’ve laid out in this project’s values very clearly.
Attacking people for such ideas will not be tolerated. This is your only warning.

So now I’m back in kindergarten. Project values my ass. Does the code do what they promise? That’s what people care about. I’m no smart ass, but when I grew up that’s the reason to use other peoples code. And if I see a bug lurking under the mattress, I wholeheartedly report it. If I even attach a fix, they can just thank me. They don’t have to be more supportive, we don’t need physiological counseling. We are men of logic and as Vulcans we have no emotions and now the point being is, even if we have emotions, it’s not about them emotions, okay?

I am direct, but I did not attack anyone personally, …yet. But I see clearly now: these are weak creatures. I feel bad about them, but the idea that my opinion will not be tolerated and getting a warning just seemed to need a clarification post. I’m no hive mind guy, so of course I’m used to people not agreeing with me. That’s life, and I’m used to it. But getting a warning for my harmless comment shows what these code of conducts really do: expel different-minded people. The next time I comment I have to choose my words very carefully. Because otherwise, something happens. So I said:

I do not agree to this left-wing code of conduct if it forbids me to speak freely. I’m an advocate for free speech. This will be my last comment in this project, that’s why I’ve written a few sentences. Thus whatever actions you choose to do now don’t matter.

I’m mentally ill myself (severely disabled, acknowledged by the government) and of course I’m insane. People are insane, some at least. This code of conduct is insane too. To hell with it. The people who created the code of conduct are political activists and insane too. Did they ask me if I don’t want to be labeled with the truth? No! I know they’re insane, because I was hospitalized many times and have seen all types of mental illnesses. I can even detect small traces of insanity really easy. I look at people and then they speak, yup, it’s all settled, they can’t be helped anymore, these people just walk around with you and me. And they’re free to go! Shame! There are no medications for leftism! I’ve got my personal bullshit detector and you’re really triggering me.

I was hospitalized many times and I found loving people there which were broken and thus called insane, these people mostly just need a batch of love, right? But nobody is giving them love, just pills, and they’re insane and non-functional, that’s how cruel nature is. And I experienced, if they can’t help themselves nobody can help them. Because they are severely broken.

But then what I find daily going on in the real world really is insane. And we’re now debating if a non-living piece of software may be called insane. Oh, how far have we come. Am I demented yet? Is this an illusion? No. This is marxism: everything is political. Destroying friendships and relationships, infecting everything, infecting my safe space. To say it with leftist words: programming is my safe space – dare you infect it with politics, be it left or right!

Now I am really insane and taking meds which keep me alive (yuck!) and you show what your code of conduct really is: politics. I should be able to voice my opinion (it’s nothing more, nothing less, of course) that things and people can be insane and thus be called insane like myself I am, because that’s what I am. And so you need to ostracize me, is that what your code of conduct is about? Ostracizing mentally ill people, because one time in history there’s one who knows what he’s talking about? Then better drop that document.

We need to be clear and direct if we voice our opinion so there are no misunderstandings. We should not complicate and castrate our languages in order to make people feel better. We should help people to help themselves. Only then they will feel better and live in dignity. No code of conduct will help, it help’s to cement insanity.

Thanks for trying to hinder me speaking freely. You can thank god that I’m not really suicidal and thus triggered by your behavior to threaten me with consequences. Your code of conduct does not really matter. I’m not even questioning it anymore seeing how you want to expel different-minded people, I know the door. I wish you good luck with it. – Oh god, people, why won’t you wake up. ‘cause if one can’t take pills nowadays, one’s really lost.

Well, that post went bad, didn’t it? It was so bad, sgrif deleted it.

I know the insane, so I thought I should be able to comment on the wording with my life experience, being insane myself and having been on the ward up to 12 months, I feel no bad about that word, no tough deal guys, but my opinion really doesn’t matter, does it? What matters are people who feel offended. Since I don’t, I don’t matter. The victims. They do. If you’re a victim, leftists love you. They’ll say it’s for us, but if you disagree, you won’t get heard. They take the matter into their hands and since you’re the victim, you have to get in line and dare you criticize them. They want to remain in power, it’s not for you, they just tell you what you need to hear.
Of course, having a code of conduct about inclusiveness is not bad at all. Civil discussions are natural. You don’t have to write the rules down. They’re natural. Everybody knows them. Are we still in kindergarten? But human emotions are real too. Why should people have to hide their emotions in discussions? As long as they stay logical, the discussion keeps being fruitious. But these code of conducts give people power. Leftists like power. So when they see somebody they don’t like, they use the power happily to exclude them, shame them. They need to establish power structures to dominate society thereby. I’ve seen it all my life. These guys want to feel good primarily and be on the good side. I don’t care about no sides. I don’t care about feeling good. I want to feel what’s real. To know what’s really going on. If you have power, you’ll use it at best to moderate discussions sparingly. But they want the power to dictate anybody who participates in the discussion which words are good and bad and thus only the good words are permitted, everybody has to follow. 1984: castrate the language, dominate thoughts, dominate society, ultimately create Soviet people, new Soviet man.

The Soviet man was to be selfless, learned, healthy, muscular, and enthusiastic in spreading the socialist Revolution. Adherence to Marxism-Leninism, and individual behavior consistent with that philosophy’s prescriptions, were among the crucial traits expected of the New Soviet man, which required intellectualism and hard discipline.

So he needs to be selfless, deluded, healthy, muscular and deluded. I think that he’d really make a good Soviet.

Among the major traits of a new Soviet man was selfless collectivism. The selfless new man was willing to sacrifice his life for good causes.
(both wikipedia)

Of course, collectivism, what’s not to like here? There are people who dislike Linux Linus Torvalds behavior when commenting other people’s code:

Can we please get rid of the brain-damaged stupid networking comment syntax style, PLEASE?
This is disgusting drug-induced crap, and should die

What do we see here? This man is on steroids. He obviously loves his job and if people write crap code, he calls the code crap, not the people. But people are too stupid to differentiate. Oh no, can’t he think about the people? How bad they feel now, having written crap as best they could, and he’s telling them, this man is dangerous, he tells (the truth/)disgusting ideas, he’s using them bad words. He said crap, crucify him! Victims, speak up! Why can he speak so full of hatred? He needs to go. I feel violated. He’s a rapist! Yes, that he is. I think I’ve been raped by him too. This creep touched my hand. – Evil, be gone!

There is one thing I did not include in my comment on GitHub. It don’t really care now, because my whole comment there has been deleted. Maybe I’d have edited it there. It’s about weak people. Insane people have to help themselves, one can try to help, but they need to pull themselves out of the hole. You have to help yourself if you’re in trouble, if you have lost the ability to help yourself, you’ve stopped being. Insane people are dysfunctional and some really can’t be helped anymore. You can try. You will fail. If they are fully broken, you cannot fix them. It can get better. It can get worse. Nobody knows.

Those who can’t cope with reality are insane. If you’re triggered by mere words, you are insane. Have a look at the people who created the code of conduct. It’s lefties infesting the whole western world. Because we let them. There are no medications for leftism, but doctors will find out soon how to handle them. They can’t get away.

Yes, the world is cruel. No, I did not make it so. But people have to adapt. They need to know. The world is cruel. If we suggest insane people that the world is fair, if we shield them from reality forever, we won’t help them, we only support their delusion.

I won’t say: it’s your right to feel bad. You’re a great personality, stay as you are. I’d say: now that you’ve felt bad, how about having some fun now? I know it’s not easy and a big effort like everything else, there is no free beer. But, as you try, you’ll grow stronger. The stronger you get, the less you need me. But I wouldn’t say something like this. I’d do something like this and show them.

When people say what’s going on in them, they use words – some are not so okay under some circumstances –, leftists get easily triggered, them being insane, we have to stop them. Because they don’t know right and wrong, they only know their feelings. Once insane people get strong and accept the cruelty of the world, they can become people of our society again. The left will keep insane people down, telling them if they feel bad that it’s ok. It’s not ok. They want you to stay the victim. So they can remain in power. And give warnings. And delete. You need to comply or you’ll be erased from that new inclusive society, just like during good ol’ soviet times.

Addendum:
You know, what really angers me is that they try to speak for you. When I try to make myself clear that I can speak for myself, they warn me and delete my post. Of course, a GitHub pull request is not a place to discuss politics and I’m aware of that, so I had nothing more to say then just: guys, you seem to be getting into politics. You don’t need to. You should care about your code quality, API and documentation only. I really didn’t feel to write about myself, people do not matter. Code matters. And I got a warning badge.
I had the honor to co-write an article in Datenschleuder about hacker ethics, albeit I’m no ingenious hacker myself, I just learned how to use computers by trial and error and you should assume I know nothing by heart. I wrote that hacker culture basically follows meritocracy

Hackers should be judged by their hacking, not bogus criteria such as degrees, age, race, or position.

I can see the value in that: no discrimination, but critique must always be possible; while critique also can be interpreted as discriminatory sometimes, this people do not assume, but comes naturally. What lefties do is push these ideas further and further and further. Now if you dare to criticize (you better not), you’re shamed and ultimately become an outcast. Because “the rules” shouldn’t be opposed, for holy they are. Every word must be politically correct.
And I oppose that. You know, being insane myself I think I got a right to voice my opinion that there’s no harm with labeling code as insane, and every sane should do as well, because the code I’ve been dealing with in my life is not capable of feeling.

And I’m a lot smarter then them, that’s why I despise their statements for they show their own weaknesses and fears. One would give them a hell of a ride starting with hell central station schedule: contributor-covenant, then fulfilling all their fears and breaking each and every declaration. They would be little weasels, helpless like babies. You shouldn’t take these guys serious. These people are even real. That’s so sad. What has society become? Even I’m not totally serious if you haven’t noticed by now, now you have. Then have a look at this fine specism, a self proclaimed social justice warrior, who was so misunderstood I assume by society and colleagues that it created a code of conduct, because it is too weak to defend itself, it needs a code of conduct and others enforcing it. Yeah baby, let’s go for a ride, I know the way muhahahaa. No. Satan needs untainted souls. We wouldn’t like to aggravate a dark god, no? Everyone should realize: these people are children. You can’t take them serious. You don’t give them power.

Those triggered by mere words are insane, because words are context-sensitive, not every word you read is about you, if you think all is about you, you are indeed insane. If you don’t get the context, you’re stupid and demented. And to go further down the road: if I see someone acting insane, I’d say in his face that he’s acting insane. Because then he is or at least seems so to me. I could also be wrong and would admit it. If someone feels bad when I label him insane, he’s unfit for society and needs to be treated. But that’s really not my full-time job.

Languages have developed to express ones thoughts. Societies naturally enforce good behavior, so there are times when you shouldn’t say something, even if it’s the truth. But these times are rare and of course induce stress in humans. For a functional society people have to know whatever they think, even if they’re insane, it is right to think it, but not always to keep it or address it to everyone. At best one would write it down or memorize it and later evaluate the truthfulness, until then, better keep your mouth shut, whippersnapper. If you grow up and are schooled in a western society, you learn that by time. But the more restrictions are fabricated, the more dangerous it is to think. I know Orwell. Let’s fight against his dystopic future, because engsoz is coming, and the left is supporting it. I’ve also read Klemperers LTI - Lingua Tertii Imperii. Language changes naturally, but I condemn the forced revision of languages to follow political guidelines and ideologies.

You might think I do well. I don’t. I’m not assimilated into society, I’ve been a outcast all my life. Your society and inclusion mean nothing to me. Human life means nothing to me. Your rules are only for the sheep. You delete a post, well buddy-boy, I repost it here. Whatcha gonna do now?
I went through so much self-inflicted shit, didn’t do the important things right and life is cruel, I cannot go back and change things. But I learned. I never wanted the whole society to change just so I could feel better. I did mistakes and many I did. But only when it already had happened I knew better. I’m still stupid managing my life. Society is not at fault. Eventually people can behave better. But if I felt bad, I wasn’t strong enough. So I had to get strong. Then I felt better. Words don’t matter. If you’re strong, if you’re really capable of living in the world, words don’t matter.

Go back hundreds of years and see how much pain people experienced. Where did these people complain about words? They had real problems, endured extreme pain, were robbed, beaten to death, had to fight in countless wars, raise children in poverty, were slaves and serfs, because there is no personal Jesus who takes your pain away if you murmur a delightful prayer three times in a row, bow to the cross, and they still kept going on, because they were strong, here you are, my little descendant, and some are born weak, but can be made strong. But will they be strong? Our western society now condemns strong man. We won’t be made strong, since we’ll expect collectivism, because we’re weak by ourselves, we only feel strong in groups, thus group-think is in action.

In the old days people had real problems to complain about. Now their social immune system is so under-performing they feel the need to create problems just to be the victim again. How demented must one be to desire to be a victim. A man must desire to be a conqueror or sage. A woman must desire to be a mother. Nobody sane will say that these days, so let one insane say it. Because with people like these, one must be insane to think clearly. Otherwise, he’d be exactly like them.

These mindless people I’m talking about create code of conducts to feel better, but they know nothing. They want to fix society, but what do they create? What do they really propose? They don’t know everything about it. You read it, it seems good at first, but what about the consequences? Group-think says, everybody who’s sane will agree, and everybody else will be silenced. It’s an experiment, leftist people like to gamble with societies and economies, that’s their vice. How does a code of conduct change the discourse? A better question would be: how were discussions without such rules realized? Utter chaos? Think again. These codes of conduct mean reinforced moderation and less free speech and ultimately induce other problems, but that’s not the point. The point is, we’re all grown up. Each country has laws for the sheep, abide by them. See, there already are rules. And each society has additional rules. Yes, of course, we need more rules. And punishments. Because that’s where all the fun is.
So guys, here you’ve entered my room, I’m the door master, you now have all agreed not to be mean, ookkay? Here are 16 other terms, please read them. There are many ways you can offend, especially if you’re a white cis-male. If you’re white, you can stay, but try not to talk, hey, check your privilege, soy-boy, it is me who is talking. I’m a strong person of odor, you have to respect me. Now, go into the corner there and stay put. Yes, I mean you, do you see another white cis-male?

I’m a grown up man. If somebody is giving me warnings for free speech, I walk away at best. If I did what I really felt, he wouldn’t live another day. The goodness of violence and hate will be another blog post far later, coming this century. I never wanted to talk about politics in this context. I was warned for trying to state my personal involvement with mental health, telling them my opinion, what they wouldn’t want to hear. I feel no bad about it at all.

Leftists are mostly not self-aware, for their solutions are diametrical to a functional society, how do socialist Latin American countries do these days? Soviet Russia? DDR? China? Britain? Sweden? We can all just hope that our western society stays as cruel to lefties at it is right now, with them, it will only get worse. It is not me who needs to gain knowledge for I propose to do nothing. I’m not in favor of shaping society. Shaping society by what criteria? If you think you can answer this, you know nothing. I understand so far that it is indeed futile, the whole proposal to shape society is doomed. Humans are evil creatures and the unfit want to change human nature, the feel-good people won’t accept their own evilness, as weak creatures they are. It is not infinitive wisdom that human nature cannot be changed. We all can try to become better persons by ourselves. But we don’t have to. We don’t have to put something in beautiful words if we express critique, we may choose the worst, we even may insult people, if you feel like it, have a go, I won’t stop you. And wise people will still listen. Because at the core, there’s a message, something new and interesting waiting to be unfold.

They won’t ban or delete ones speech, because what one says, stands for itself, and nobody is taking the reader’s right away to evaluate it by himself. This is called freedom, some people still may know it, while others never had it. It really is precious. People need to stand up for it or it will be gone. And if it finally is gone, with them, the lefties and the outraged, it’ll never come back. Because what they practice does not require intelligence or awareness, it requires merely repeating the holy words. The end result: self-immolation. Destroy what you are and I will tell you that there’s nothing left, what can one day return with greatness. And they will happily self-immolate. Because they were made so to feel good, comparable to a drug induced state, while their body is rotting with unbearable stench to the bones of once a great nation. But the people made it great, the old people, who suffered many losses. They knew suffering by first hand. Nowadays, in the land of plenty, there are no lessons to be learned for the young. They are not prepared to live. Not prepared to vote. They know nothing. Nobody told them. I’ll tell them.

Due to suffering, advance to greatness. We’re not perfect; far from it as we may be, anybody can achieve greatness. But there’s one thing you can’t be: weak. Because weak people will rightfully be crushed. And now these disgustingly weak people are controlling the discourses, we need to expulse them with hell fire. And if they like, then they may self-immolate. But not when they are in control, when our future is under stake. When we finally got rid of them, then they can self-immolate. And nothing of value would be lost.

And at the end you’ll see now what a mess politics can be and why we shouldn’t get into it at all costs. I promised a massacre. But it’s just a different opinion, mate. Nothing special at all, mind you, there a millions of people in the world, and they all have their owns minds. Insane!
How vexed and angry people will be, if they really have read all I’ve written. Because they’re not used to hear different opinions. They won’t easily understand. They only want to hear what’s good for them – even if they go as far as loosing touch with reality. They are children. We need to protect them, but never give them power.

Everybody may have a political opinion, but when interacting with each other, we shouldn’t care about political ideas at all. Thus if you want to deal with politics, get a political career, you’re totally wrong here doing stuff with computers, one doesn’t mix them. Because naturally not everything is political. If it is, it is made so, and not by chance, it’ll ruin the precious culture nerds established when they we’re alone and spared from the insane outside world. Because all they cared about was technology.