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So first off, things have been going way better lately. My mom’s still upset I’m not going to a 4 year school right off the bat, but my dad is fine with it because he knows I’m only going to community college either till January or for 1 or 2 years. It saves so much money anyway. I guess my mom wants to pay for me to party or get out of the house.lol.
Anyway, I decided to finally go to Warped Tour with my friend Amanda. I’m really excited because Forever the Sickest Kids and Anarbor both just had two GREAT new cd’s come out and if you buy them there, there’s a chance you could get to meet them.
I love FTSK’s new cd J.A.C.K and listen to the whole thing once everyday haha.
I’m also going to see TheStorySoFar, TheUsed, and SleepingWithSirens. I really wish Mayday Parade and Pierce the Veil were on it this year though lol

So I’m up and bored. Lol. What else is new. But I do my best blogging when I listen to music so here it is.
My mom and I have had an ongoing battle about my weight. She has a fast metabolism so even though she is 48, she barely weighs 100 pounds. I, however, take after my dad and weigh around 140, but am a gymnast and have a lot of muscle mass.
My mom doesn’t think so so she proceeded to yell at me for 2 hours last night about how she is responsible an concerned about my health. Haha so I told her she could disown me if she wanted. That was fine. Lol. I’ve tried really hard to salvage our relationship, but I don’t think it can be done.
I got sick the other night. So bad that I still have a popped blood vessel in my eye. Instead of asking me if I was okay she loudly barked (because she doesn’t yell,) “what did you eat?”. I said what we had for dinner and she said no, I mean what did u eat all day cause I know you ate all day.
As a daughter or child, I know you parents are mortified to know she did that, but she did so even if I don’t get into school, I will bust my butt so I can move out. At least she gave me motivation. Thanks mom for caring and being “concerned about me.” You’re staring at me with a disgusted face when I eat dinner is only annoying and makes me feel like crap.

So when I’m bored or just in looking for something to do in general, I watch movies. The other days pick was Warm Bodies from redbox. My mom had a free rental from a Dr. Pepper she drank. Anyway, I was a little weary and apprehensive at first because I’m not big into the flesh-eating, dead, shoot-em in the head or they won’t die creatures, but I decided to watch it anyway and I’m glad I did.

I don’t know the main actor and actress’s names, but they were great. The cheesy 80’s music played on vinyl added some comic relief and R’s attempt to play it cool and keep Julie safe was cute. James Franco’s brother Dave was in it and he of course is really hot ha. He was Julie’s boyfriend that R eats but they were going to break up anyway.
Zombies aren’t supposed to be able to dream. Perry (Dave Franco) tells R that when he shows up in Julie’s dream. Julie says he can dream if he want to. Julie says one of my favorite lines, that one day they’ll exhume everyone. Her friend asks her what that means. She says it’s like to REVIVE. Perry says it means to dig up…as in a corpse.
Either way Julie and R become the cure through him changing back into a human and leading the way for others to cure themselves through remembering what it means and felt like to be alive.
Love is the answer. If only things worked like that outside of the movies.

So I’ve been pretty busy lately even though that’s a lame excuse. Ignore my inexcusable laments about how I’ve had work, spent the night at my friend’s house 2 nights in a row, and have been trying to be a regular kid because it’s bs. Lol.
Anyway, I’m back and I won’t bore you with all I did anymore although I will say I went to see Fast and Furious 6 and it was REALLY good but it could have something to do with the fact that I’m a big fan of the franchise and Michelle Rodriguez, Vin Diesel, and Paul Walker.
The fact that Jason Statham is going to be in the 7th one is pretty freaking amazing too.
I said I wouldn’t bore you, but here I am doing just that. Lol. Might as well keep it up. I had the pleasure or going to the fancy restaurant in city center called Tuscano’s that has a buffet meat rotation of all these glazed things and a death by chocolate cake. Needless to say it was good and finally I deposited $1195 in my savings account and $200 in my checking from graduation so it might not be much, but I feel rich 🙂

So I graduated last night at Liberty Baptist church in Hampton from Denbigh Baptist Christian School. My class only had 26 students, but our graduation was still really special.

I’m so blessed to have grown up in a loving home and I got $1085 total. including like 5 giftcards which I can use for gas at wal*mart. I’m excited if you couldn’t tell. My senior year was scary at first, but then it became fun. Hope all of your graduations were special. My family came in town and I’m having a party tonight.

Well, it’s my first day of summer and annoying I woke up at 5:30. But on the bright side I went back to sleep, made my dad breakfast, took him to work and then worked out at the gym for … Continue reading →

So I’ve read every John Greene book he’s written that I know about besides Paper Towns and they all make me cry, but leave me better for reading them at the same time. If you haven’t read anything by him, do so, but don’t read “The Fault in Our Stars” or “Looking for Alaska” when your depressed like I did. Unless you’re not going to give up hope. lol. Below is a short list of quotes from the book that I like.

I’m sorry,” I said again.“Me too,” he said.“I don’t ever want to do that to you,” I told him.“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

“You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unappreciated you are.”

“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”

The world is not a wish-granting factory.

“People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic. Isn’t that the real heroism?”The real heroes anyway aren’t the people doing things; the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention.”

“My cancer is me. The tumors are made of me. They’re made of me as surely as my brain and my heart are made of me. It is a civil war with a predetermined winner”

“I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.“Augustus,” I said.“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”“Augustus,” I said again, not knowing what else to say. It felt like everything was rising up in me, like I was drowning in this weirdly painful joy, but I couldn’t say it back. I”

Spring Break on the Upper East Side vs. Harlem with narcissistic, wealthy kids who spend all their parents money on big parties and drugsand drug dealers who will kill to make sure they get their money.

So yesterday was the second time I watched a movie called Twelve. It is named after a drug the main character “White Mike” starts to sell after his mother dies of breast cancer a year earlier. He starts out small, dealing dope to the classmates he internally despises. Keifer Sutherland narrates the film making it feel more like a book than a movie, but I was simultaneously enthralled and repelled while watching it. I’ve never done drugs besides prescription ones, and how powerful and powerless it makes people stunned me.

At the beginning of the film, “White Mike’s” cousin, Charlie is killed by Mike’s supplier, Lionel, who is played by Curtis Jackson or 50 Cent for not being able to pay for the new hip drug craze the movie gets its title from, Twelve. Lionel also blatantly kills Nana who accidentally saw what happened. Hunter who was a good friend of Charlie’s and Mike’s gets arrested for the murders because he was seen in Harlem that night.

The teenage drug abuse and partying doesn’t stop there. Jessica tries Twelve for the first time at a party and calls “White Mike” to buy more. While high, she talks to her teddy bears saying she would kill the queen B, Sara Ludlow. Sara is known for telling boys that she has tons of boyfriends, but she’s not a slut. That different boys are interesting for different reasons and that they are special for a very specific reason and then she asks them for what she really wants: money or weed. Chris, played by Rory Culkin, falls for it and gives her money as well as his house for her to have her 18th birthday party there. Chris’s older brother escaped from rehab and is angered that Chris is his mother’s favorite so he practices with his weapons while the house fills up for the party.

Meanwhile, we’ve met Molly who is a childhood friend of Michael. He blows her off as being just friends though even though she has been invited to the party he is supposed to be supplying at later on that night, Sara’s. Jessica runs out of Twelve while talking to her teddy bears and after asking her mom for money doesn’t work, she calls Lionel.

The night of the party arrives and Sara thinks it’s perfect. She kisses her boyfriend which makes Chris upset because she alluded to compensating him for the money and house, but she doesn’t. Molly goes to the party and gets drunk, but is still infuriated when “White Mike” gets there and is announced as a drug dealer. White Mike goes looking for Molly at the party after his dad calls him and tells him Charlie is Dead. Chris’s brother Claude gets angry and goes on a shooting rampage, killing Lionel, shooting Tobias, the male model who invited Molly to the party, and Sarah. He goes outside and is shot by the cops as well.

Before the killing occurs, “White Mike” finds Jessica having sex with Lionel. In order to pay for the Twelve she felt strong enough to do anything to have, she tells him she’s a virgin and that she’ll have sex with him if she gives her the $1,000 drug.

I’m not saying I’m better than any of the characters in this movie, but I would never spend my spring break like this. As Sutherland says, they were not looking for love. They were just horny and lonely.

“You have seen that before you lies a great stretch of road, and it is wind-swept. Or blasted by the hot sun. Or covered in snow. Or it is dirt. Or concrete. Or shrouded in darkness. Or bright, and clear, so you have to squint. But no matter what, it feels utterly empty. But there are sons who have lost mothers, and mothers who have lost sons. So, we must live the best life we can.”

Dually morbid, but encouraging advice to live the best life you can. Watch the movie for yourself and tell me what you think. 🙂

through a pinhole. Just like a faucet that leaks, and there is comfort in the sound. But while you debate half empty or half full. . .slowly it rises. Your love is gonna drown.

Death cab for cutie lyrics. I first found out about this band 3 or 4 years ago when I watched a movie called the Invisible. It’s about a boy named Nick that gets trapped in limbo after a girl named Annie has her friends beat him up for knowing about a robbery her and her boyfriend committed. Of course, Annie and Nick fall in love after she’s the only one who can still see him, and he desperately pleads with her to tell the police (them) where he is before it’s too late. Eventually she does, but it is almost too late as her boyfriend Marcus has moved the body to the bottom of a river where the dams will break and Nick will drown and die.

Anyway, that is what started by love, obsession, and thankfulness for death cab for cutie’s music and Ben Gibbards lyrics and or magical words. The song played in the movie is “I Will Follow You Into The Dark.” It is the song that really put them on the map, but I’ve listened to all of their stuff and it’s ALL good. Including Ben’s solo project, The Postal Service.

Back to the lyrics and song I’ve chosen to write about. I think it’s a beautiful thing that he said here. Sorrow and any of the emotions we feel do not always just hit us right at once. They can permeate slowly. Dripping into the pinhole of our heart like a leaky faucet and the sound is familiar. Comforting even. Then the doubt creeps in. Do we like our lives? Is the glass half-empty or half-full, and as the emotion, in this case sorrow, rises, our love could drown.

Obviously, I don’t think it’s right to let your love drown. The idea of love scares me, but I’m hoping that all the times in the past that I’ve been hurt will prepare me for the time in the future when I might not be anymore. Anyway I hope everyone has the pleasure of discovering Death Cab for Cutie someday.