Brett: Yeah, just messin' with ya Greg. That's what I do for kicks these days. I hear you're a free agent. But a couple of days gone by and you ain't got no takers yet?

Greg: Yeah, I wanted to let that first wave of crazy money pass and then get on all the TV and radio talk shows and remind folks that I believe in my smellf.

Brett: Your what?

Greg: C'mon. Haven't you seen my hilarious Old Spice commercials?

Brett: Who you callin' old?

Greg: Listen, I don't wanna keep you, sounds like I was interrupting something. Here's the thing, the Packers have offered me 8 million a year. Last fall, it was ten million. But see, look what happens, you miss 11 games over two seasons, and this is how they treat you.

Brett: Miss games? Shoot, there's your first problem right there...

Greg: Thing is, I figured I was worth at least 12 million a year. Then Percy got his deal and I knew I was screwed.

Brett: Percy??!! Pants on the ground, Pants on the ground!...

Greg: Uh, Brett, what I'm sayin' is there's only one team out there who's gonna at least get me close to ten million a year and that's the Vikings. You seemed to have some fun when you were there. At least till that last pass in New Orleans. Things seemed to spiral downward from there...

Brett: Hell yeah! Stick it to Thompson and that front office. Cross the line. Put on the Purple. You know that Prince guy, he wrote "Purple Rain." He's from Minnesota too!

Greg: Well, I actually kind of like Ted and I love that team. I won a ring with them. Most special year of my life. You ever watch the NFL Films special of that Super Bowl? I was miked up. I was smilin' and laughin' and huggin' Mike. It was great. It would feel weird to join their rivals.

Brett: Yeah, well, lemme tell ya somethin' those checks they send ya every two weeks, they's good. And they're gonna have more zeroes than the ones from Green Bay, right?

Greg: That's true. But I'll go from catching passes from Aaron Rodgers to catching them from Christian Ponder.

Brett: Tryin' to catch 'em, you mean. Anyways, they got that Cassell kid too. Maybe he'll end up bein' the guy. Anyways, gotta go. Got an autograph session at the Pump 'n Save in Hattiesburg in an hour. Take the money!

Click.

Post a Comment:

Name

Website:

Email

Comment

Please Enter the Validation Code Below

Comments (4):

Pretty funny, Dave. Again I will say that I do not blame Greg for testing the market, for calling Brett, or for signing with the Vikings. I won't be cheering for him when he plays the Packers but otherwise wish him the best.

the trashmanon March 19th, 2013 at 10:51pm

I don't blame Greg either but Davey makes a pretty good point with how his value went down, down and down, and I think his pride kept him from GB. There was one you missed, "Hey Brett, I bought an ad in the paper sayin' how much I loved it in GB. Think they'll believe it? I hope so, I thought it would be cheap insurance against a snowball to the head when I play there."
I like GJ but I can't wish him good luck. Since that would be hoping the vikes do well. I will wish him a healthy career and that we don't ever hear from his sister's twitter account again.

Paul from Eaganon March 21st, 2013 at 12:09pm

Wow, don't quit your day-job, THC (whatever that is). You're even more unfunny than Meatsauce. Might as well change the name of this site to TheGoatCheese.com, cuz you're bitter as hell.

Caneon March 24th, 2013 at 03:00pm

Relax,PackerNation. It's been a policy of the Vikings to entice aging Packers' stars nearing the end of careers with large amounts of their billionaire owner's money for years now. And what's come of any of it for their sorry club?
Since the Darren Sharper defection 8 years ago and thru the Longwell, Favre and now Jennings whoring the Queenies haven't succeeded in their half century quest to win a Super Bowl or their 36 year drought of even playing in one.
Over this 8 year period of raiding Green Bay has racked up an overall record of 84-54, Minisota over the same span is 56-67.
The Packers have bettered the Vikes in half those seasons, been to the playoffs 5 times compared to their 3 and taken the NFC North 3 times and the Viqueens only twice. And, of course, the Green & Gold has a recent Super Bowl Championship on their resume and Minny has none.
Head to head over this span the Pack has the Vikes 11-6, including last January's playoff decision.
The only Packer signing that changed any balance between these two franchises was Favre and that was good for only one season.
If the Queenies and their boosters think they have pulled off a great coup on Jennings we've heard this song before. Jennings was destined to be a third or fourth on Green Bay's depth chart at best this season anyway. The cap space cleared will help the Packers cover other areas and players of greater need and use.
Jennings will frustrate in Minnesota. With a quarterback who can't get the ball to him and in an offense which hands off to the runningback most of the time. Maybe in ten years they can take a free agency run at Aaron Rodgers.