The Expendables

The Expendables is a 2010 American ensemble action film that pays tribute to the blockbuster action films of the 1980s and early 1990s. A group of elite mercenaries are tasked with a mission to overthrow a Latin American dictator.

[after beating up Lacy's abusive boyfriend and his friends at a basketball rink and deflating a basketball with a knife on his chest] Next time, I'll deflate all your balls, friend.

[to Lacy] Now you know what I do for living. I'm not perfect, but you should have waited. I was worth it.

[to Barney] You know it's not easy being your friend.

[in a knife throwing contest with Tool, speaking the film's final lines in the form of a limerick] I once knew a man named Tool. Who, to me, was the epitome of cool. He was good with a knife, bad with a wife. Thinking he could beat me, DREAMING he could defeat me. Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool! [the team shows a confused reaction] Oh yeah! [now standing in the street, shocks the Expendables by throwing a bull's eye]

[talking to Barney about how they stood for something] You remember that time we was up in Bosnia? We took down them Serb bad boys? All our guys were gettin' chopped up all around us and there was blood everywhere. I never though I was gonna make it out of there and I know you didn't and you didn't either. Kinda feelin' like... dead too, ya know? My heads all very, very black place. Didn't believe in shit. Just goddamn Dracula black. I remember I got this bottle of this local shit they have over there. That Silvits... I think that's what it was called. And I ain't feelin' no pain now... and I come up on this, uh... I come up on this overland bridge, and I see this... I see this... I see this woman standing there, ya know? And she's, uh... I stepped out and she saw me, and she's just lookin' right... right in my eyes. And I was lookin' right in her eyes, and I knew what she was gonna do. She looked at me, and I knew she was gonna jump. You know what I did, man? I just turned around I kept walkin' until I heard that splash and she was gone. [crying] After... after taking all them lives, she was one that I could have saved, but I didn't, and uh... What I realized later on was, uh, if I'd have saved that woman, I might have... I might have saved what was left of my soul, ya know. [puts pipe in mouth as Barney walks away]

Barney Ross: Let's just keep it simple. If the money’s right, we don’t care where the job is? Got it?

Bald man: Let's quit jerkin' off, get down to business, see who’s hungry. We know your real name's probably not "Barney Ross." You don’t need to know my name. The only thing you need to know is the job's real, and the money's real. But since we’re in this nice place, you might as well just call me "Mr. Church."

Barney: Okay, Church, what can I do for you?

Mr. Church: In a minute. I'm still waiting for one more guy.

Barney: Who?

[A tall man walks into the church smoking a cigar; his presence shocks Barney]

Church: You know him?

Barney: Yeah, we used to be on the same team together. What's my oldest, worst friend doin' here?

Church: You guys aren't gonna start sucking each other's dicks, are you? [Barney looks suggestively at Trent and Church laughs sarcastically] Let’s get down to business, see who wants to work. You ever hear of an island called Vilena?

Church: There are resources on that island that my people are very interested in.

Trent: But a general by the name of Garza has overthrown their half-ass government.

Church: That's right. My people have a problem with this fanatic Garza.

Barney: [to Church] So you want Garza gone?

Church: I want him dead!

Trent: [sarcastically] All it takes is a little army. Only an idiot would do this job.

Barney: [to Church] How much?

Trent: [to Church about Barney] Oh, like I said. [winks at Barney] Well, I'm busy anyway. [to Church] So, give this job to my friend here. [to Barney] He loves playing in the jungle, right?

Barney Ross: [sarcastically] Right.

Church: [uncertain] That's right.

Trench: [to Barney] Hey, why don’t we have dinner?

Barney: [to Trent] Sure, when?

Trench: In a thousand years.

Barney: Too soon.

[Trent walks off]

Church: [confused about Trent] What's his fucking problem?

Barney Ross: He wants to be president. [Trent looks back at Barney] I’ve gotta recon this island first.

Church: I got a contact for you on the island.

Barney: [after Trent exits the church] Good riddance. [to Church] I’ve got a feeling everyone else has passed on this job, so our fee is five-mil.

Church: [surprised; to Barney] Five mil?

Barney: I want half up front and the other half in an offshore account. You got a problem with that?

Church: [shaking his head] No. What I have a problem with is people trying to fuck me over! So if you take this money and you don’t deliver, you try to fuck me in some kind of weird, cockamamie scheme of yours, me and my people are gonna come get you and your people, and chop you up into little, fucking dog treats. [mockingly] You got a problem with that?

Barney: [shrugging his shoulders] Let's talk.

Hale Caesar: [referring to Garza's army] Great, they got a small army. What have we got? [looking at the diminutive Yin Yang] Four and a half men.

[Everyone but Yin Yang laughs]

Yin Yang: That's not funny.

Yin Yang: I need a raise.

Barney Ross: Say what?

Yin: I want it for my son.

Lee Christmas: Since when did Yin Yang get a family?

Yin: You don't ask, I don't tell.

Sandra Garza: [meeting Lee Christmas and Barney Ross for the first time] What are your names?

Barney Ross: [after seeing Dan Paine and his men terrorize a local market] What's wrong with this picture?

Lee Christmas: Everything.

Lee Christmas: [tapping his head after Barney barely misses it while shooting a soldier behind him] Are you crazy? You could've killed me!

Barney Ross: You're welcome.

[Lee angrily shrugs his shoulders and is mimicked by Barney]

Barney Ross: [referring to Sandra Garza] On the island, there was this girl.

Tool: [painting a guitar] Yep, usually are.

Barney: Yeah, she showed us around. She was the target's daughter. When she had the chance to leave, she didn't do it.

Tool: Ump, she had some guts.

Barney: Why can't I get that out of my mind?

Tool: 'Cause she stands for something. We don't, man, we don't stand for shit. [referring to the paint on the guitar] We used to, but that dried all up like this is gonna dry all up. It's your paint that's gonna dry.

Barney: What dried up?

Tool: Just belief. Just belief in the soul. Just... I don't know, the human parts, brother. You remember that time we was up in Bosnia? We took down them Serb bad boys? All our guys were gettin' chopped up all around us and there was blood everywhere. I never though I was gonna make it out of there and I know you didn't and you didn't either.

Barney: Yeah.

Tool: Kinda feelin' like... dead too, ya know? My heads all very, very black place. Didn't believe in shit. Just goddamn Dracula black. I remember I got this bottle of this local shit they have over there. That Silvits... I think that's what it was called. And I ain't feelin' no pain now... and I come up on this, uh... I come up on this overland bridge, and I see this... I see this... I see this woman standing there, ya know? And she's, uh... I stepped out and she saw me, and she's just lookin' right... right in my eyes. And I was lookin' right in her eyes, and I knew what she was gonna do. She looked at me, and I knew she was gonna jump. You know what I did, man? I just turned around I kept walkin' until I heard that splash and she was gone. [crying] After... after taking all them lives, she was one that I could have saved, but I didn't, and uh... What I realized later on was, uh, if I'd have saved that woman, I might have... I might have saved what was left of my soul, ya know. [puts pipe in mouth as Barney walks away]

Yin Yang: It's difficult.

Barney Ross: What?

Yin: My life is difficult. I need more money.

Barney: Why that?

Yin: I work harder than the rest.

Barney: No, you don't.

Yin: Yes, I do! Everything is harder for me. When I'm hurt, wound is bigger, 'cause I'm smaller. When I travel I need to go farther.

Barney: I know, because you're smaller, right?

Yin: Yes.

[awkward silence]

Yin: I need more money.

Barney: I know, you told me.

Barney Ross: [in the middle of a car chase] Get out there!

Yin Yang: Why me?

Barney: Because you're smaller!

Gunnar Jensen: [after being shot by Barney to save Yang] You shot me.

Barney Ross: You were gonna kill him.

Gunnar: I was only trying to scare him.

Barney: Don't put that on me, you never really liked him.

Gunnar: [gasping] Hey, am I dying?

Barney: Shot three inches above the heart.

Gunnar: [groaning] I'll take that as a yes.

Hale Caesar: [to Yin Yang] What happened to you?

Yin Yang: [shaken up from his fight with Gunnar] It's too sad to talk about.

Hale Caesar: [sitting across from Toll Road on a plane] You know what? I trust you. I want you to meet my girlfriend: [holding up shotgun shell for his AA-12] Omya Kaboom.

Toll Road: You lost me there.

Hale: When Omya's prime is struck, she give off a miniature warhead that arms itself. And when that happens, anything that gets in my lady's way becomes instant red sauce and Jell-O. And if that doesn't work... [holds up a razor with "Caesar" engraved on it] Her sister will.

Hale Caesar: [after killing a number of soldiers with his AA-12 shotgun while his team is behind cover] Remember this shit at Christmas!

Barney Ross: Damn, that thing's loud!

Hale: [to Barney, who was just tackled by Dan Paine] What happened to you?

Barney: I got my ass kicked.

Lee Christmas: What's he saying?

Hale Caesar: He said we're dead with an accent.

[James Munroe is running away with Sandra Garza]

Barney Ross: [aiming at Munroe] Munroe!

James Munroe: [holding Sandra at gunpoint] Drop the weapons, or I'll put a bullet through her eye! Don't test me.

[Barney drops his guns and Munroe shoots his bulletproof vest]

Sandra Garza: [screaming] No! No!

Munroe: [to Sandra] Shut up or I'll kill you. [to Barney, who is getting up, in reference to Mr. Church] The Agency's parasites hired you, didn't they? I'd have paid you twice as much...to go fishing! You'd have to think I'm pretty freakin' stupid to surrender to the Agency. Why would I do that? [referring to his control and drug business in Vilena] I created this. I made it all happen! And they wanted me out. Why? Because I saw the big picture! [Barney is now on his feet and approaching] Stop walking! And what about me and you? We are both the same. We're both mercenaries. We're are both dead inside. So why the hell did you come after me?

Barney Ross: I didn't come after you, dipshit. I came for her! [Sandra breaks free of Munroe's hold]

[Barney shoots Munroe five times in the chest with his revolver]

Lee Christmas: [throws knife throws Munroe's back] call it a tie.

Tool: [in a knife throwing contest with Lee Christmas] All right, baby, all right. Come on! Let's see what you got! [Lee throws knife near the center of the board]

Hale Caesar: Oh! Oh!

Tool: There's my boy! [throws knife closer to the center]

Hale: Oh! Go...go...go south!

[Lee and Tool both throw knives, inching closer to the bull's eye and evoking laughter from Hale]

Barney Ross: [to Gunnar Jensen, who he earlier shot] So, you're back from the dead. How are you healin'?

Gunnar Jensen: [recovering from a gunshot wound three inches away from the heart] Good...considering you could have killed me.

Lee Christmas: [stops before throwing a knife and laughs] You know what? I'm gonna do you a favor, Tool. [reciting a limerick] I once knew a man called Tool...

Barney: I love poetry. [Hale makes a confused face]

Lee: To me, he was the epitome of cool. [Toll Road laughs] He was good with a knife...bad with the wife. [Yin and Toll laugh]

Barney: That hurt.

Lee: [speaking the film's final lines] To think he could beat me, dreamin' he'd defeat me, Cool Tool, you gotta be a fool! [the team shows a confused reaction] Oh yeah! [now standing in the street, shocks the Expendables by throwing a bull's eye]