What It Feels Like To Have Bro-tox Injected Into Your Face

I spent the better part of my twenties ignoring Surgeon General warnings. I drank too much; I smoked cigarettes; I scoffed at the idea of wearing sunscreen; I aggressively avoided sleep.

My thirties have been (sadly) much tamer, although now I have a stressful job and a one-year-old, so really, my body is experiencing a whole other kind of abuse. When a coworker asked whether I wanted to get bro-tox, three questions flashed through my brain.

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Q: What will people think if I get a cosmetic procedure? A: Who cares?

Q: Will I look like Nicole Kidman? A: Better than looking like Tom Cruise.

Q: Do I really want a toxin injected into my face? A: YOLO.

Fuck it, I thought. Let's do it live!

So that's what I did—I got bro-tox, live on Facebook.

Last week, I climbed aboard a glorified Airstream parked outside of the Hearst Tower in Manhattan. I reclined in a barber-esque chair, and within minutes Dr. Deanne Mraz Robinson, Director of Body Sculpting Center at the Connecticut Dermatology Group and a Clinical Instructor at Yale University, poked a small needle filled with a toxin called Xeomin in five places between my eyes and above each brow. This took all of one minute. It was no more painful than the twice-monthly eyebrow plucking my wife makes me endure for what she refers to as "unibrow avoidance."

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Xeomin is not Botox, which is its own brand. So even though I relentlessly call it "bro-tox" to anyone who'll listen, the company prefers the branding: Xeo Men. The main difference, said Dr. Mraz Robinson as the injections settled in, is that Xeomin doesn't contain a protein, which means it's purer.

Once the injections are complete, Dr. Mraz Robinson held a tissue to my forehead for a few minutes to sop up residual blood and then applied an ice pack for several more minutes to prevent swelling.

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In less than fifteen minutes I was out of the chair, out of the trailer, and on my way. Other than a red splotch that quickly faded, there was no sign I'd just had a cosmetic procedure done.

Xeomin doesn't take effect immediately. Dr. Mraz Robinson said I'd start feeling it—or, more accurately, not feeling anything—within about four days. The full effect wouldn't take place for about a week, and the affects would last approximately three or four months. The cost: about $300 to $400, depending on your geographical location.

It doesn't hurt; it doesn't feel numb. In some ways, it doesn't feel like anything, although maybe it actually feels good. I'm prone to tension headaches between my eyes because—like pretty much every office worker—I stare at screens all day. I haven't had a single headache of this kind since receiving the injection. Are they related or is it just a coincidence? I'll let you know once the Xeomin wears off.

Here I am trying my hardest to move the muscles between my eyebrows:

Several hours after receiving the injection, I told my wife, who was both supportive and jealous. When I told my mom and older brother in Chicago, however, they reacted much less positively.

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"You did WHAT?!?" My mom asked.

"Bro," my brother jumped in, "what's wrong with you?"

"I thought you lived in New York," my mom said, "not L.A."

(Sick L.A. burn, mom.)

What I should have told them is that I'm not alone. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, it's the most popular minimally invasive procedure among men, with nearly 429,000 men receiving the treatment in 2015, a 4% increase from the previous year and a 355% increase from 2000.

"Men's aesthetic is really taking off," Dr. Mraz Robinson said. "The taboo of having things done is really dying and it's no longer part of the social context. I have more and more men doing it."

Will I do it again once the Xeomin wears off? Initially, I thought, not a chance in hell. But now I'm thinking, maybe. I spent thousands of dollars in my twenties destroying my skin and adding wrinkles like a topographical mapmaker, so why not drop some cash helping to restore it? Besides, the hardest part is telling your mom.