Hide Your Tiers

This is a simple but really effective life coaching exercise, the purpose of which is to show you the tiers of your close relationships so that you don’t invest too much time in trying to please the people in the outer most circles of your life.

Put a dot in the centre of a piece of paper, this dot represents you. Now draw a small circle around the dot, this circle represents your first tier of people. For the majority of us this would be a spouse, parent, child or brother or sister perhaps. That’s not to say this tier has to represent family, just whoever you feel closest too. Write their names down just outside the circle.

The next step is to draw a larger circle around that one. This is your second tier of people, this could be grandparents, a best friend or a sibling who didn’t make the first tier. Again it is your choice who you put in the circle.

The third step is quite obvious… you draw an even larger circle to encase the second tier. This is the third tier and follow the same steps as the last two. It is very important to remember that you are not judging peoples worth in this exercise. You are just determining where they are in your life.

Then go on to draw circles for tiers four and five. These are still important people in your life. By the time you reach these tiers you are perhaps writing about in-laws, co-workers and friends. These are people who shouldn’t be counting on you to be there for them in the way that you are for your ones and twos. If they don’t like the way you do something then don’t fret, it doesn’t matter. They will be the first tier people in someone else’s life so you don’t need to concern yourself with what they think of you.

This piece of artwork probably isn’t something your going to share with all and sundry, but it is important nonetheless. No body needs to know which circle they have been assigned too, but you need to know because it will help you to find your bearings, maintain your priorities and put your first people…first.