A shocking lack of patriotism

…displayed by me, an Indian, while watching the Dhaka test today. Or, rather, while determinedly not watching the Dhaka test today.

I have been supporting Bangladesh throughout, because I usually support Bangladesh. It’s not that I don’t love my country, it’s just that I care more about Bangladesh. And yesterday, while I was rooted to the screen, Bangladesh were steadily and methodically dismantled by Messrs. Dravid and Tendulkar. (As I’ve said, I LOVE Rahul, but it still hurt. Rahul has nothing to prove any more; the Bangla boys do.) As Stephen Fry will tell you, this was not a coincidence, because any time your team does badly, it can only be because you were stupid enough to be watching them. You must do anything else – go watch some paint dry, feed the cat, feed the cat some more, take the opportunity to safely groom and/or bathe your now bloated, confused and immobile cat; anything. Just do. not. watch. Rule #1.

So, today, I didn’t. Neither, evidently, did several thousand other people, some of whom, like me, instead watched Australia take Pakistan apart (again). As absorbing as that was, pretty soon incredible news started to filter through from the Shere-e-Bangla stadium: somehow, Bangladesh had stormed their way to 218 for the loss of just one wicket, and even more incredibly, Tamim Iqbal had just reached 150 in the company of Junaid Siddique, on a more modest but still impressive 54. Suddenly viewers were switching over, keyed up at the prospect of watching an upset unfold. Go Tigers!

…and then Siddique got out. And then, less than two overs later, so did Tamim.

*facepalm*

It wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t even that Zaheer was bowling really well (although he was, I mean to take nothing away from the boy.) It was ours. We’d forgotten Rule #2 – when your team is doing well, do not alter your behaviour a single iota, because you will SCREW IT UP. If you are on a treadmill, stay there! Full bladder? Too damn bad, princess, suck it up and hold it in. This is more important than you.

Sorry, boys. Our bad.

Still, bravo, Tamim. Today, you were a colossus. Let’s hope it wasn’t in vain all because we lot were stupid and forgot the rules.