Fare Thee Well, John Bolton’s Presidential Campaign (2010–2011)

John Bolton, combative warmonger and No. 5 on VF Daily’s annual ranking of the World’s Most Powerful Mustaches, has recused himself from the presidential race, which he had apparently previously entered. “I've decided not to run for president,” he told the media organ of the Republican Party, Fox News, yesterday evening. “I kept coming to the conclusion that I couldn’t possibly win the nomination and I didn’t like that answer. So I went back and revisited my assumptions and the data. I think I would have had a lot of support. I think I could have raised money. But I think the political commentariat here in Washington is convinced that foreign policy is not a winning issue. I don’t think that’s right.”

Bolton, whose hoary, pornographic mustache briefly served as the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations under President George W. Bush, thanked his benefactor(s) on his Twitter account. “Thank you to supporters! I am honored and humbled. Know that I will continue to be a voice to promote national security. Our job isn’t done.” What is Bolton’s current job, and can any independent source confirm that it is not, in fact, done?