Givin' Em the Business: Idiot kickers

Posted on: September 29, 2010 2:45 pm

Edited on: September 29, 2010 6:58 pm

Posted by Will Brinson Givin Em the Business recognizes all the people that annoyed you from the week that was in football. Feel free to provide nominations either in the comments or by yelling at us on Twitter (@CBSSportsNFL) .

As someone who picked the Falcons upset the Saints and eventually to win the Super Bowl (yeah, I'll be reminding you until their next loss), I love Hartley for helping me look good. But as someone who loves his job yet wishes he could get paid six (or more) figures to swing his leg back and forth and kick a football 29-yards through a really wide gap between two poles, well, Garrett Hartley, you are a total loser.

The story of Shaun Smith and his affinity for grabbing other men's junk has been fairly well chronicled over the past few weeks. But not well enough -- if there's a guy out there who plays football for a living and spends most of his time amidst other piles of men and he just so happens to frequently punch/yank/grab/pull/etc other man parts, well, he needs to be fined. Or sent to jail or Singapore or something. Last I checked, "given 'em the business" is like three life terms there.

The Packers deserve some blame for an ugly Monday night game, but look to the left at this picture -- it is Jay Cutler, in the words of the guys at KSK, acting "triumphant after throwing [a] masterful pass interference penalty." And that accurately describes the CUTBRAH and the Bears this season, except they're somehow 3-0, which makes them eleventy billion time more insufferable.

4

Mike Singletary

You know what? I've always thought Singletary is a good coach, but that's mainly because he does really funny stuff 50 percent of the time and spends the other 50 percent of the time yelling at his players in a manner that causes them to respond. But it might be time to stop blaming other people (Jimmy Raye) and just admit that Singletary is at fault with the Niners failure.

t's not like spending $54,000 is even a big deal. Seriously, people. Once you start blogging for a living, you make it rain with 55 GRRR at least once a week. (It's because living in a basement and not paying for pants is secretly the most genius money-saver of all-time.) Anyway, who cares about this dinner. Why are we wasting all of our time talking about it? It's funny. They're rich. He's young. WHAT-EVER ... just let's end this so no one ever has to hear Herm Edwards talking about the limits ($1,500?!?!) on his credit cards again.

It became infinitely easier to hate on Clausen when he appeared to have a Power Glove and/or mittens on. After all, the last Panthers quarterback to sport Mittens? David Carr. Not a good precedent to set for the rookie. But then you see the entrance he made (pointing to the crowd, jumping through smoke) and compare it to the exit and you have to think that maybe he could really work on humility a little bit more, you know?

The Jets keep winning ... without him. Which is bizarre, considering he's by far their best player, and annoying, considering we spent the entire offseason debating how much he's worth as a premier cornerback since he decided to hold out and act like the Jets couldn't live without him. Now he's not practicing again, and might not play this weekend, which just makes it all that much more obnoxious that we held our breath for so long.

8

Marcus McNeill

Welcome back, guy! Good thing you decided to hold out, because, boy, did you really show A.J. Smith what-for. Not only did you manage to not play a large portion of the season, but you also managed to lose a ton of money and end up playing this year for nothing!

9

Lovie Smith

Yup, picking on someone else who is 3-0. That's because Lovie's coaching decisions thus far this year are completely inexplicable. It's one thing to be "aggressive" when it comes to making fourth down decisions, it's another thing to be "completely idiotic." Lovie's been the latter at least two (and maybe) three times this season, eschewing a field goal that would tie the game -- twice! -- in favor of trying to extend a red zone drive. Lucking out with a win after whiffing those can't last forever.

Eh, why not bookend this week's edition with kickers? It was that kind of week after all. The weird thing is that Janikowski said he felt better than ever while warming up against the Cardinals. Clearly he was wrong about something, because he ended up whiffing a game-winner from inside 35-yards which, if you have the biggest leg in the NFL and just happen to be the highest-paid kicker in the league, is the most inexcusable thing you can possibly do.

Givin' Em the Business: Idiot kickers

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Givin' Em the Business: Idiot kickers

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Givin' Em the Business: Idiot kickers

Givin' Em the Business: Idiot kickers

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