The
author of this review states that he has
been unable to sleep at night since playing
"CLYP".

Author:
MiTTenZReviewed By: Daniel
St. ClairGame Mode Supported: DM maybe.Overuse of Colored Lighting:
Fullbright! Spelling Errors in Text File:
None included in map archive. Pain Level: Lying face down
in a pile of broken glass and nails with three midgets
jumping on your back attempting to sodomize you
with a watermelon.

I think that this
is supposed to be a screenshot of the ceiling,
but then again I thought that the Mets were going
to be done in by St. Louis so what do I know.

AT
A GLANCE: Remember the terrible "Madbomber"
by MiTTenZ?
The one that got a -51... the alltime lowest
score ever? Well the genius who created that monstrosity
is at it again with "My GrAtEsT MpA EvErrr!!" (his
words, not mine). Only this time, instead of going
with the premise of "trying to kill you even
before you begin to play the map", he has apparently
learned that "symmetry is good." He uses his kindergarten
level knowledge of "a square is the same on all sides"
to copy and paste the brushes of this awful map into
existence. Only thing is, when combined with his horrific
sense of texturing and the fact that he can't quite
master getting the actual symmetry/map balance down,
the result is more along the lines of a schizophrenic's
skinner-box nightmare.

DESCRIPTION:
Unfortunately, this real-life Jeff K kid didn't include
another entertaining readme file in his map, so instead
I'll have to point out that his suicide-inducing site
is a few broken links away from being a candidate
for an awful link of the day. He's one of those kids
whom has recently discovered how "k3wL" it is to alternate
the caps lock when typing. He seems to have all the
maps (including Madbomber) except this one locked
under security password on his website. I presume
this may have been a result of Cranky Steve, but it
may have been a forced move by the government. The
fact that all his maps except this one are locked
down may actually be a blessing in disguise... a very
bad disguise, I might add. If he and his mentally
retarded friends are the only ones playing the maps,
they might actually have an after-school-special-on-PCP-usage-jump-out-a-window-and-Darwin-themselves-from-existence
party. Let us hope.

THE
MAP: One word: fullbright. The child
prodigy still hasn't bothered to study the VERY easy
to find and bountiful tutorials on how the hell he's
supposed to use lighting entities. In many ways, this
may actually be a plus, because I frankly don't know
if I could endure seeing a map like this with a disco-vomit
motif. We've already seen his first experimental map;
I don't think we want to see his experiments with
colored lighting. And the map design is probably the
most-overused style of all amateur map designers -
a big column/building with ramps inside it. They somehow
think they are being original or that it's fun to
create a spiral-shaped map that you can look directly
down and see your buddies in.

Perhaps the most
telling screenshot of the series -- note that
there is no one else in the game. Sad.

Did
I mention that one of the spawn points has a railgun
sitting right on it? Yup, this kid is a railgun addict
all right. Like anyone ever uses anything BUT the
railgun! In an open map like this, a person can camp
easily up top, especially with that quickly respawning
pack of railgun slugs. Also, the fact that this map
has no armor anywhere, makes every railgun hit an
insta-kill (though I think the person camping up top
would sooner jump to his horrible death than stare
at the walls).

GAMEPLAY:
The first thing you notice when you load the map is
a ramp. A big fucking ramp. WOW! HOLY SHIT! THIS IS
UNDDOUBT3DLY T3H GR4TEST M4P EVAR!@!!!1111 After wiping
the tears from my eyes, I began to wonder if I am
actually supposed to climb up said ramp. I know I
can never grasp his sense of subtlety, but personally
I don't think that there's a ramp high enough for
the maker of this map to JUMP UP MY BUTT.

Pay
attention - these are genius map-making skills at
work. The next element of professionalism you'll notice
are the walls.

Good
God, the fucking walls. ONE
REPEATING TEXTURE OF A BUTTON-SIZED LIGHT! And
if you look up, you'll notice the ceiling consists
of about 3 brushes all covered with this texture.
Whoopie! Climbing the first ramp, I proceeded to pick
up the various weapons as I moved to the top of the
symmetrical spawn of copy-and-paste-brushes.

You'll
now notice that the floating lava blocks (?) in fact
don't kill you, but are solid and you can walk on
them. Perfectly logical!

Apparently
our maggot-spawned fledgling map designer decided
that with all the instant death and violence in from
his previous deathtrap-filled map, there should be
some friendly lava in this one. Also, I must mention
that you can shoot through the lava. Yes, a completely
solid object such as a grenade passes through melting
lava, but not a space marine. At the top of the ramp
you can look down and truly appreciate what a piece
of bad, brain-damaged
Escher-esque crap this map feels like. Running
along the outer edges of the wall, I noticed that
the upper platform ring (which, by the way, had a
single pack of miscellaneous ammunition at every intersection)
was several inches away from the wall at one side,
and wedged into the wall at the other.

FUN
FACTOR: Not since Gamepro Magazine has
the arbitrary term "fun factor" been so defiled. This
map is not only unbalanced to actually play, it's
impossible to see a damn thing with about 1,000 little
tiny orange dots assaulting your optical senses. I
never thought that fullbright could be so garishly
colored. I invented about 2,329 new cusswords while
playing this map. Still, this map not nearly as bad
as Madbomber... but it was made by the same sadistic,
sociopathic child, and that I will never forget.

THE
BOTTOM LINE: Baby Jesus is crying, but he's not
bawling. To this kid's credit, he has taken a major
step over the previous atrocity. However, that's like
saying getting the red-hot fire pokers that were shoved
in your bloodied eye sockets to be replaced with chilled
ones is a "fine improvement." This map is not nearly
as bad of an abomination as "Madbomber"
but is still quite terrible in its own right. I can
only shudder at what future pain I will experience
at the hands of this uncle-molested, insecure, and
hyperactive child. I am under the firm impression
that if this simpering bed-wetter continues making
maps, he will be subject to penalty of law on the
grounds of "the creation and distribution of a harmful
substance."