Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Hold fast to dreams...

Flashback to March-ish, 2005. Ish.

I was driving back to UMD from my parent's house. The drive wasn't long, only about 45 minutes. It was a Sunday evening, one of those times when there is absolutely nothing to listen to on the radio. I clicked, clicked and clicked some more, finding nothing worthwhile. I finally decided to scroll through to the Christian talk radio station, WAVA. I used to listen to this station all the time on my way to school in the mornings in high school, nerd that I am, because at 7 am Focus on the Family would air and they often had really interesting guests on the show. I hadn't flipped to WAVA in ages though because I was never in the car when an interesting program was airing.

Just wondering if anything good was on, I flipped to 105.1. The sound of voices had barely registered when I heard "horses..." I turned up the volume and sat back in my seat.

Within about 5 minutes, I had to pull the car over because tears were literally streaming down my face. I was on the way to a friends' house to drop off a textbook, and when I got there, she exclaimed, "What's wrong?!"

"Shhhh!" I choked out. "Listen! It's my dream, she's doing my dream!"

The guest speaker was Kim Meeder, with her husband Troy, founders and operators of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch in Bend, OR. Nicknamed "The Ranch of Rescued Dreams," this little 9-acre ranch rescues abused and neglected horses, rehabilitates them, and gives riding lessons to abused and otherwise hurting kids, all for free, and all for the glory of God.

I know.

I love this ranch. I've never seen it, but I love everything about it. I've never met Kim or Troy, but I love them, too. They live what I've dreamed of doing since I was 12 years old and I read a story in Chicken Soup for the Soul about kid my age who had been in and out of juvenille hall and foster care, but somehow ended up mucking stalls at a farm and helping to rehabilitate a neglected horses. Between that little horse and a man who mentored him, this kid's life was saved. My heart was sold. I knew I was made to make that happen for other kids. That was 13 years ago, and while it probably doesn't look like it on the outside, most of the big life decisions I've made have been centered around one day making that dream a reality.

But that's on God's terms, not on mine. This morning Focus on the Family began re-airing the original two-part series. (There is a second, three-part series, but I don't know if or when they will re-air that broadcast.) And while there was a piece of my heart that was broken over driving down 270 in rotten traffic in a huge city full of smog when I know I dream of something with so much more purpose, there was another piece full of joy in hearing, again, of something so precious and redeeming, knowing that someday I can do that, too.

And then maybe someday you can give me some money for my ranch. Or come work at it. You probably don't know it, but if I know you well, you've already been assigned a job at my ranch. Lenny says it's weird to have a dream that includes being the boss of your friends. I told him I'm an oldest, I can be the boss of everyone. ;)

By the way, now you know why my blog is called "Fields of Green," and what I want to grow that's wild and unruly.