A recent assignment was to write an introduction for a housing development just outside Toronto. It was a unique job as it didn't involve the usual humor for which I'm known. It called for a poetic synergy that would entice home buyers and drive interest from the web site to actual site visits. However, as the client had a sense of humor, I couldn't resist adding one last intro just for fun. I was told the boss "laughed his head off."

He also liked the serious stuff.

It’s not a place to live – it’s a home. Alderwood by the Lake is old growth trees, parks, a lake and a place where you know your neighbours, who smile and wave when they see you. Close to schools, shops and restaurants where people will know you by name and welcome you with a smile when you arrive. It’s your new life, to grow with your family. Hang a picture anywhere. It’s your place, your home – for many years to come.

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It’s time to start your life. Live by parks, a lake, schools, shops and restaurants and all in a place where you know your neighbours, in a small, friendly community within groves of old-growth trees and serenity. Close to everything you need and an easy commute to Toronto, Alderwood by the Lake, is not a place to live – it’s your home, it’s your growing family, it’s your future. It’s happily ever after!

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Alderwood by the Lake. Just the sound is serene. Imagine life among tall trees, in a small community where you know your neighbours, where shops and restaurants are close at hand. Walk through the park, along the lakefront or hike one of the many conservation trails. Close to school, it’s ease and comfort for the entire family as you grow and enjoy all the Oakville area has to offer. Toronto is a short distance away if you need to commute or just want a night in the city! More than a place to live, Alderwood by the Lake -- is a home, and your future.

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Sure it’s a hell hole but you can’t afford better. Perhaps you shouldn’t have had kids? Well, post-abortion and adoption is no longer an option so at least the school system will teach them enough skills to dig ditches or work the fryer at a fast food place. Close to parks, where you can trap wildlife for food and a lake for bathing because you can’t afford the water bills, there are also many local shops that aren’t use to the shoplifting crimes you will undoubtedly bring to the neighbourhood. The restaurants are perfectly situated for dine-and-dash and, as the neighbours will be hiding in their homes for the sake of their precious lives, there will be no witnesses to finger you when security video airs you on the nightly news.

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Perhaps I can write something similar for you? Serious or humorous, or just a mix of both!