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Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

My dear bakers, I'm going to teach you how to spell "Congratulations" if it's the last thing I do. I mean it. We're going to sit down RIGHT NOW and hash this thing out, and I'm not giving up until each and every one of you can spell this word backwards, forwards, and without using a single letter "d." You hear me? I am NOT GIVING UP.

I give up.

Ok, look. How about you just abbreviate it?

Not that much.

No...

[head on desk] No...

[in fetal position under desk] Losing...faith...in humanity...

Does...does that really say "Congris"?

Does it?!

Ok, I have an idea.

[whispering in ear]

I'll take it.

Hey, Aimee T., David G., Colleen G., Lianne I., Super Happy Girl, Julie M., & Nicole V., you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you? My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand.

because I am detail oriented (obsessive) I tend to read your credits, I mean you make it worthwhile with a parting pun or two! today I recognized a submitter's name and will have to let all my kids know to "check out today's CakeWrecks! No, Really, you Have to!" ;-}

@Trevor - Tay's cake looks like a grocery store cake. They're initially decorated with a big space in the middle for the inscription. I bet someone bought that after the regular decorator went home for the day. I can hear the deli clerk saying "Sure, I can write on a cake!"Great post, as always!

@Trevor - most grocery stores have their cakes baked and the initial decorating done off-site (a co-worker of my husband's used to work for the company that did this) so the person who wrote on the cake is not the same as the person who initially iced/decorated it.

In order to get one's diploma from cake decorating school, it should be required that one can spell "Congratulations" and to know to abbreviate it without an apostrophe. And that, while "Grad" and "Grade" understandably come from the same school of thought, one of those words picked up a varsity letter. Not that he ever lets that fact be heard, but the silent humility sets it apart from the average Jo.

wv : cornoly . Let's see if using cornoly'll make a difference in our cake's results.

I missed the Princess Bride reference but the six fingered cake made me think of - "Six finger! Six finger! Man alive. How did I ever get along with five?" Does anyone else remember that? Maybe I'm showing my age.

@Anon 10:52 ~ Those are 2010 decorations. It's just that the 'f' in 'Class of' kinda catches the top of the 0 and makes it look like a six. On the other (six-fingered) hand, given what else I've seen on this blog, I can only hope that means that photo was taken last year, and not that that cake has been in a box in the storage room for twelve months. I wouldn't put it past them. =P

Also, I know that the one cake says "congat's", but I keep wanting to read it as "congat'e".

The cake with the cap and tassle is actually pretty well constructed--is that string licorice making the tassle? Very creative. But the CONRATS nearly made me choke on my lunch. What a way to ruin a decent cake.

This bugs me way more than it should. Of all the words I can't spell, and there are many, "congratulations" is not one of them. I'm more than a little dyslexic. I have misspelled, mistyped, and even botched a graphic or two during live news broadcasts. I literally can not see it when I spell something wrong, and almost never catch other people's mistakes. So, the fact that even I know better, speaks volumes. BTW spell check has changed my life, and I have an awesome proofreader now to keep me from sending out misspelled work. I'm still hoping for the day when scientists teach monkeys to spell and I can have a spelling monkey to help with my disability.

I like the irony of the "Congat'e [CENSORED] EHS 2010" cake with the "The tassle is worth the hassle" flotsam. I would be so tempted to ask the wreckerator, "so, um, I take it you really didn't think it was worth the hassle."

#LFMF: Never say, "It looks like spelling skills are improving," or words to that effect in a public forum, because you WILL be proved wrong. Especially here.

And I thought that line about "another positive effect CW is having on society" would negate the jinx. I should have known it is like washing the car; even if you comment on how warm and sunny it is, your freshly washed car will still be treated to a torrential downpour followed by blowing dirt, cat hair, bad cakes, you name it.

These things look like they were created by 'Congris'.

That last one... Right after the new compulsory spelling class, wreckerators must proceed immediately to the basic anatomy class.

I mean, if I were going to draw a hand, I don't have to look far for an example -- there is no need to guess at it. On the other hand (ba-DUP!), maybe the wreckerator *was* working from an example. Yikes!

I actually was at the store walking past the bakery when exactly that happened. I volunteered to do the writing for the woman buying the cake and when I did(In nice pretty cursive) it she said to me, "How do you do that so well?"

I replied, "Lots and lots of practice."

Sometimes I have to wonder how many people at the many supermarkets actually know how to properly use a pastry bag and how to make proper lettering on a cake.

Since there is an accent mark over the "e" on the 5th cake down, I'm thinking that means "conga-tay"...but I searched online for a definition-ay (Google word-searches and Webster's Online Dictionary-the Rosetta Edition) and found nada. So now I don't care anymore.With the slimy red mess a few doors down, I read it as "Congress Grade."So, okay~~let Congress have at it.Why should WE have all the fun.

My email spellcheck function is a joke; it likes to suggest "words" that don't even exist. And sign me up for a spelling monkey--what a capital idea! I'd make him a banana daiquiri and challenge him to a rousing round of Scrabble!=^-.~^=

At first I thought the "Congat's" was "Congate" (not seeing the apostrophe), and it might have been the popular name of the incident involving the "conrats".

I read "Congris Grads" as "Congres Grads" (lacking the acute accent--just take the apostrophe from the "Congat's" cake, it didn't belong there anyway!). This cake would be commemorating a meeting of the graduates of the French Dept.

Do you know why I HATE CakeWrecks? Why I *despise* them, even?? Because even with my overly-educated, honest-to-God English-major-with-Oxford-University-"yes, England" pedigree.... I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check-- nay, accidentally "misspell!"-- the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence.

Thanks to your shenanigans, my mind's eye wants to subconsciously add superfluous "uaua"s to it in unexpected places, or drop the "T," or sundry other bastardizations....

I never had this problem before, CakeWrecks.Look what you've reduced me to.

They were ALL disturbing but the radioactive orange "Congris" cake scared me the worst - ?2016? The big white flower/bird dropping in the center? The edging that looks like fire retardant foam along the edges? Spelling blunders aside, that is one freaky looking cake.

After reading ALL the comments to see if someone already commented/corrected, I am shocked and dismayed that no one bothered to tell Renee that his name is INIGO....He is not a blue color!And you call yourselves fans!! *SMH*

Ha Patti I was guilty of that for YEARS. For some reason definitely was my kryptonite (and I'm actually surprised that when I typed it out here, I typed it right the first time). I'm also saddened I haven't seen a 'congratumalations' cake wreck yet. It's my favorite butchered way to say congratulations.

I almost gave the 5th one down the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the "s" at the end looks that way because they started to write it in cursive. Then I noticed the missing "g".. then the fact that the so-called "s" seems to be dotted..and.. then I gave up.

1) You know someone's going to mess that last one up now and spell it, "Grate Job!" And it won't even be a cheesy pun. Hah, see what I did there?

2) Sorry for above.

3) Here, I'll make up for the PAIN with this link for you: http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=19375 Just got mine in the mail and it is my favouritestest geeky shirt ever. It's multi-level geeky. It's so geeky that I feel the need to type very fast about diving into a wishing well before I drown.

" I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check... the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~You think THAT'S tough?Try double-checking your spelling in a SPOKEN sentence.

Re:#2= con means “with” in Spanish so it’s “with rats” and I think only hot dogs have a parts-per-million allowance of rat parts. This cake is in violation of federal law!On the plus side this means #4 is “with grad’s” but it’s hard to know if that’s good or bad until we know what the grad is possessing. :D

(#6 does appear to say “2016” and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought so)

BTW, in the bottom left side bar an ad reads: How to Remove Stubborn Kids' Stains. So, how does the stain remedy know if the kid who made the stain was stubborn or not?? Technology is just amazing but still no Spelling Monkeys or Spell Check on cakes!

@C2, I also took note of 'Indigo' but I didn't want to say anything. Besides, I have seen PB exactly once -- and don't recall most of it (can I say that here?) -- so I didn't think my credentials would pass the mustard.

@Lynn, someone very dear to me is dyslexic. What I know about it is that dyslexics tend to skew high on the IQ curve, and dyslexia is one of the most common -- and most often missed -- learning variations. It can be conquered; studies show that children and adults who receive training process the written word exactly the same as someone who never had dyslexia. That said, many dyslexics choose for a variety of reasons to forgo training, and they lead very successful lives.

@GennyDiggory: clever girl.

@Joyce: The statue of limitations doesn't run out -- sculptures can't run. As to the *statute* of limitations, I think this calls for a ruling from our hosts.

Boy if they find Congratulations hard to spell I can only imagine how hard it is for them to spell bridal shower or even Kwanzaa lol.. now I hope I spelled that right and if not now I am a wreckerator hooray :D.

I had someone at work insist that I write Congrads on their cake. I was like, "Congrats"? and they were like "No, c-o-n-g-r-a-d-s". "C-o-n-g-r-a-d-s?" I said. (I figure it wouldn't hurt to double check their spelling FOR them.) "Yes, Congrads." A part of my soul may have died as I wrote on that cake.

"Congris" is used in Puerto Rican and Cuban restaurants to describe when you order the white rice and black beans mixed together instead of served separately. So I am trying to figure out how that applies to cake...

This has to be one of my most favorite posts ever. Congrads and Congradulations is one of my very biggest pet peeves EVER (primarily due to an acquaintance who loves to flaunt her educational superiority but has never once spelled this word right in my 20+ years acquaintance with her). Great blog!

I confess, I decorated a pretty darn nice graduation cake for my niece, and an extra cake for serving from at the start of the party. At 7am I was told that the extra cake would be for the other graduate at the party and I needed to write something on it. I knew spelling was beyond me at 7am, so I abbreviated. AT the party I realized the cake said "Congats"! Luckily I was able to fix it before the guests arrived, but there's at least one photo of it before the fix :( So it really can happen to anyone!

Perhap's "CONGRADS" will be added to our lexicon as a viable portmanteau? (Did I spell portmanteau correctly? Does it matter?)

BTW--I haven't been able to leave comments from my cell phone for a loooong time...tech diff's (LOL--that was "cake decorator speak").

I REALLY wanted to leave a comment on the Pictionary post: that was BRILLIANT!!! I actually liked the cupcake cake(s) with the yellow ruler, the nuts, and the thing that was hard (snicker) to figure out what it was...

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