"Offer your smile to The Fates and you shall feel less their Slave."~ DSF

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I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun. You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO WTF?: The Unbearable Oddness of Being *PART 1

Do you sometimes watch TV or a movie and find yourself staring, mouth agape and thinking WTF? I do.A lot. Enough to make this a weekly column but let's begin with the ones fresh on my mind.1) DOWNTON ABBEY I just finished the DA marathon on PBS, Season 1 straight through to Season 6...all of it, end to end, and although my eyes are bleeding and I haven't slept for 159 hours, this little niggling thingy needs to be said: WTF is with Cora's hat in S6 E9? I cannot usually find any fault whatsoever with DA... I am smitten to the nth degree and loved every single moment of it...even that annoying shitforbrains Daisy, but that hat was like nails on a chalkboard. *shiver* It is forgivable, as the show is otherwise Perfection...but still...

Am I the only one who sees Cora's Lisa Simpson hair?

I offer you the proof that the costume department saw this on the screen and shuddered: THIS is the ONLY picture of that hat I could find on the net. It's been tossed...rubbed out...knocked off....it's sleeping with the fishes.

One hopes.

2) NATURE VALLEY GRANOLA COMMERCIALIf you haven't seen this commercial, I must warn you, don't be holding anything sharp or hot in your palm, because it WILL be slapping your forehead as your thinking 'WTF?' It is in my TOP 5 STUPIDESTCOMMERCIALS. EVER.

No. You cannot learn everything you need to know about life from a granola bar. Unless, of course, you are tripping on acid and your wise old Grandpa is actually a talking granola bar.

Otherwise, just fuck off.

3) MAYTAG COMMERCIAL

I am normally not the over-sensitive kind, and can take all kinds of humour, but this Maytag commercial was a big WTF? moment for me. Objectifying any sex seems just so wrong these days. I dunno...but I just felt sad for this actor, who has probably been trying to make in show biz for years and finally got hired, only to act like a THING to be humiliated. It is a cringeworthy sight and I think this guy deserves a bloody good bonus. And free facial reconstruction surgery so he can go out in public again...

What if this was a female actor? Exactly.

4) OUTLANDER STARZ TV SERIES: #Boobgate

The Humanizing of a God. An unexpected and major WTF moment.

The Perfect McHusband, the Scotsman Jamie Fraser, loves his wife so Deeply and Truly, he has singlehandedly reignited more dormant middle-aged libidos, like ancient volcanoes on steroids, for millions upon millions of women around the world. His Devotion, Loyalty and Over50 ego-emboldening love of a 'fine fat arse' and a buxom bosomS is Legend in the Outlander Fandom.

However, the TV series, suffering sever Adaptationitis somehow wrote in a scene (like Outlander's 20 trillion pages didn't have enough storyline already) our Hero cops boobage, willing lead to the Mound Of Sin by its malicious and love-struck teenager LegHair (Laoghaire) and it sent a ripple of horror and angst throughout the Outlander community. The agitated click of knitting needles was deafening!

In an unprecedented Social Media war, sides were chosen and you were either #TeamFallenKing or #TeamJustAGuyThing. I am #TFK and Diana, surprisingly enough, was #TJAGT. This is how we exchanged views on Twitter complete with a T-shirt worthy quote that still makes me say WTF? but in a much more respectful and fangirl-in-awe way.

Creepy: blue, zombie/ghost-like guy who is kinda ugly. I have to avert my eyes when this guy comes on the screen. NO eye contact; evil vibe.

Misogynistic: why show 'money working hard for you' as the stereotypical housekeeping/dishwashing/vacuuming Women's Work thing? Seriously...WTF?

6) DOWNTON ABBEY again (sorry...I lied.)

Sybil dies.

So WTF happened to Hugh Bonneville's excellent acting chops in this episode? Lord Grantham's beloved Sybil is dying before his very eyes, and its all his fault, and he looks like he is watching his favorite soccer team tie a match. He seems rather put-out, but hardly frantic or devastated. The dumbass doctor who misdiagnosed her preeclampsia looks far more upset. Maybe HE is Sybil's real dad? Did I miss an episode?

7) SNOOP DOG AND MARTHA STEWART'S POTLUCK DINNER PARTY

Not since the pairings of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley, and Rocky and Bullwinkle, have I ever been so gobsmacked about a couple.

Yes, I know Snoopartha (Dogwart?) aren't a 'thing' (now THAT is a picture in my mind's eye that I'll need to acid flush out tonight!) but WTF? How in the hell do they even KNOW each other, let alone get all buddy/buddy, Let's-chill-out...?

Okay...Rockey and Bullwinkle makes sense, in a way...they are woodland creatures who fight crime but that's it. The rest are just Whackadoodle Time.

**

Nuff said for now...look for THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO WTF?: The Unbearable Oddness of Being *PART 2(click here)The Unbearable Oddness of Being Part 3 (Click here)

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