Nurse 3D : If she doesn’t kill you your boredom will

Abby Russel is leading a double life. She is a lifesaving nurse by day but by night she is a life taking vixen looking to rid the world of cheating scum. She uses her steamy sexuality and her slutty attire to entice married men and then she brutally kills them while simultaneously berating them as they are dying. At her day job as a nurse, she has been mentoring student nurse, Danni and along the way has developed an unhealthy attraction to her. Danni confides in Abby about her boyfriend woes and Abby talks Danni into going out for drinks after work that night. They aren’t at the club long before Abby drops some ruffies into Danni’s drink, thereby opening the door for sexual promiscuity and Danni ends up cheating on her boyfriend with Abby AND some random guy from the club. Soon after, Abby becomes overbearing and jealous, fixating on Danni and exhibits some pretty strange behavior that makes Danni weary and suspicious, so she attempts to put some space between them. This of course does not sit well with Abby and she struggles to find a way to bring the cheater she was once so infatuated with to her own special version of justice and the bodies soon begin to pile up.

This is a cross between Fatal Attraction and American Psycho and was WAY different than I thought it would be. I was expecting something gory and fun. That isn’t really what I got. What I got was a sleazefest with minimal excitement or gore. What little bit of gore there was doesn’t happen until the last few minutes of the film and it was some weak ass CGI. I really thought the kills would be a lot better but all of it seemed to be lacking a certain something and left a lot to be desired. The thing that really got to me was how the story seems to lose its focus halfway through and becomes somewhat contradictory to itself. It’s almost as if Abby has lost sight of what compelled her in her “work” with married men the first place and it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. She gets so focused on Danni she gets sloppy and it just doesn’t jive with Abby’s whole back story. The whole thing seems a little too far-fetched to even begin to try to immerse yourself in.

The only thing that made this movie any fun to watch was the small role of Neicy Nash and her snappy one liners which make the film a little bit less of a struggle to sit through but unfortunately she was not in it anywhere near enough. It’s pretty much the same thing with Judd Nelson and his uber sleazy character of As for Paz de la Huerta, I was really unimpressed with her acting and her deadpan monotone narration is just horrible. Lines that could have been somewhat funny were just destroyed by her and her flat delivery. And While I am no prude, I got really sick of seeing her either naked from the waist down or in a nurses uniform fit for a stripper and the hair and make-up drove me nuts. It’s almost as if they were trying to make up for her lack of acting skills by keeping the focus on her vagina and bad hair. Thankfully, Ms. Bowen’s acting was much better and it made the film much more tolerable. All in all this one was a big letdown for me and I cannot in good conscience recommend it to anyone. It’s ridiculous, trashy and sleazy…but not in a good way. Overall, I was really disappointed in this one after months of looking forward to it and I can’t help feel that if perhaps if they had gotten a better actress for the titular role this film may not have fallen flat on its face. There are far better ways to spend the hour and a half it takes to watch this cinematic dud so do yourselves a favor and skip it. I wish I had.