1.) Last night my mom threw a housewarming open house party thing. It was so fun. We had a great turn-out and as far as I could tell everyone had a great time! Success!

2.) In related news, there was obviously way too much food and I will be eating hors d’oeuvres for days.

3.) Seneca came to said party and we had an excellent idea for after all the guests left. Seneca and I scooted down the giant hill in the backyard down to the lake. Where we wore our leggings, tank tops and flip flops in the lake.

4.) The lake is freezing.

5.) The bottom of the lake is sandy.

Look! It's Sen and I! lolz

6.) We are wimps and only got in the lake as far as our knees.

7.) Our version of a polar bear plunge was lame and we were easily defeated but I feel good about it.

8.) I mean, really, we have all winter to build our tolerance to frigid water.

9.) Well, there’s that, and the hope that all of my crazy girlfriends will come to the house and we will ride Tam’s kayak down the hill and onto the lake once it’s frozen. It will be awesome.

10.) So, yeah, I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted on how I go about making that dream a reality.

11.) This one is pretty much a bonus because I’d like to point out that not once did I indicate that I may or may not be hungover. Personal growth?!

There’s nothing that makes me feel more like a slacker in life than taking a nap at one o’clock in the afternoon on the couch. I had zonked out in the living room while watching Grey’s Anatomy and awoke to the sound of the doorbell. It’s embarrassing to be startled awake and to sit up to see a man peering through the window at the front door.

Why didn’t I nap downstairs?!

That way, not only would I not have been disturbed by the doorbell, some creeper man wouldn’t be looking through the window as I sleep on the couch.

Never mind the fact that it was one o’clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday. Never mind the fact that I woke up this morning at ten. Never mind the fact that I went to sleep the night before at a fairly early time, which I would share with you if I had any idea. But considering I woke up with my glasses in my bed, I can tell you that I fell asleep with my glasses still on my face, which doesn’t happen unless I zonk out unexpectedly.

Nothing says valuable member of society like a nap at one o’clock in the afternoon.

Also, I really sealed the deal when I made a complete ass of myself in front of his unexpected visitor.

I couldn’t figure out the lock on the door. And that was after I slipped on the hardwood floor on my way to even get to the door.

This man was from a local bathroom and kitchen cabinetry store. He was stopping by to pick up a cabinet.

If you’re confused, imagine the amount of fail that came out of my mouth and every move I made in front of him.

I was unaware we had a spare cabinet. Anywhere.

Not only did I make him repeat pretty much everything he said to me at least three times (my listening skills really are not what they used to be), I wandered around the house with him in tow repeatedly saying, “I have no idea what you’re talking about or why you’re here. I don’t know what’s going on!”

We looked in the kitchen, the laundry room, the basement, the storage room, the utilities room, the garage, the bonus room… we looked everywhere!

He awkwardly lurked in the house as I frantically called my mother, who never answers her phone. I called the switchboard at her work and made some nice man named Tyler transfer me to her office because I totally don’t know that number. And finally, I called her administrative assistant in a panic, and made her track her down across campus. My mom didn’t even have any idea why this man was at our house. We have no spare cabinets to return.

He was so not right.

Needless to say, he left. Sans cabinet.

And I was so embarrassed about my nap that I decided that I should be productive and do my homework instead. So, that’s what I did.

As for afternoon naps, let’s get real: I’m obviously still going to take naps. There is just nothing better. Even if they do get interrupted and make you feel super unproductive.

(I wish I could get away with saying that. But, alas, I am not southern. Sad face for me.)

So I was originally going to write an open letter to my brother because I had to move some of his belongings today and I was outraged by the amount of clothing he has and felt inspired to write him hate mail. I also would have included in that letter (albeit totally inappropriate and unnecessary to include in a letter to one’s baby brother) that I totally wore the wrong bra today to be running up and down stairs as bouncily as I did today. Upsetting. Anyway. Luckily for him, the drive from the old house to the new house is long enough that my ADD and rapid-fire thoughts kicked in and made me think of an awesomer idea.

Remember how I said I would post pictures of the new house? Well, I remembered that too. So I hunted down the camera and plugged the little memory card into my ‘puter. And I had forgotten about some of the pictures I took. Like this gem:

bahaha she looks SO good!

I also found this one:

Oh heyyyyy beautiful kitchen!

So yeah, lovely pictures, right?! I know!

I did something better though. Anyone who enjoys people making an ass of themselves will enjoy what I did. I did a house tour, like I was on some ghetto, super low-budget, one shakey-as-fuck camera version of MTV Cribs. If you have motion sickness (like me) you probably shouldn’t watch it because I can’t hold a camera stead y to save my life, apparently. That’s fine, though, because I have other important life skills. Like, … uhm, well, crap! I know I have some…!? I’ll have to think of those later.

Anyway, here it is, lovelies!

You should probably leave a comment with your thoughts on my terrible cinematography skills AND (/or?!) what you think of the new house! Or, if you can think of any important life skills I possess, that would be glorious! 🙂

1.) The only reason I enjoyed this Sunday is because I know I don’t have to be at work tomorrow because of Columbus Day. Love Love Love.

2.) You know how in Jersey Shore the boys sing “T shirt tiiiiiiiiiime! T shirt tiiiiiiiime!” over and over before they go out and while they wear the “shirt before the shirt”?? Well, I love that they do that. It cracks me up. And last night before we went out, Megan and I sang “T shirt tiiiiiiiiime!” and it was awesome. We didn’t change our clothes for the song or anything but it was cool anyway.

3.) I was supremely hungover today.

4.) MSU beat U of M yesterday. I’m not a huge sports fan, as you know, but I really, really love the rivalry between the two schools, and it just feels really good to know that my school is better than that other school for another year. I actually did watch the second half of the game, though, so I felt like I participated in the win. I took a nap during the first half. It was a good one.

5.) I went to a hockey game with my friends from work on Friday. I know I have talked about this before, but I’m gonna say it again because it’s still definitely true. Yes, hockey is hot. It is. But I just can’t get past the violence. It’s so violent. And the refs just allow the fighting. I can’t understand that! If that was my honey out there, I wouldn’t be able to watch. How does Carrie Underwood do it?! And then at one of the breaks between periods (yeah, I know there are three periods in a hockey game), there was this hockey team made up of little kids. They were so precious. And I got worried and a little upset because someday if I have babies I just don’t think I could watch my little one play hockey. I would cry the whole time and be like DON’T HURT MY BABY!!! I’m such a pansy. The hockey game really made me want to watch the Mighty Ducks trilogy.

6.) My class ends this week. I am SO excited for this class to be over. This has been the most frustrating class of my MBA program and it’s deeply upsetting. I had a meltdown a couple weeks ago about it. I just can’t get an A in this class to save my life. It really, really bothers me!

7.) Speaking of my class ending, that means I have a week of no classes before the next session starts. During that week, I will be on vacation. Starting this Friday after work, I will have an entire week of vacation. I’m not going anywhere, so it’s a stay-cation but I’m still really excited. I have so much to do! I need to get a haircut, finalize my Halloween costume, and help Mom move to the new house! Busy, busy, busy!!

8.) I am watching How I Met Your Mother again. Season 3 this time. I just finished the episode where Barney and Robin sleep together. Ted got really mad but I totally dig the idea of Barney and Robin together. I have trouble reminding myself that tv shows aren’t real life and that those people don’t actually exist.

This new house is really becoming exciting. When all of this mess began, I was pretty psyched for her because it was kind of fun talking about all the fun things we would maybe have in this new family home. But then there were a lot of repetitive questions and I lost interest. And then I started to feel bitter because this was replacing our home. This brand spankin’ new house was going to make us have to get rid of the house I grew up in. And that made me sad. So I ignored all the new-house stuff. I became really irritated when conversations turned to all the “fun stuff happening with the house” because I really didn’t like this new-house stuff.

But the house is almost done. It has to be done by September 24 for the parade of homes. It’s gorgeous. And now it’s super exciting for everyone.

So with everything coming together, we needed to find a maroon love seat for the study. And we were going to just look at bedroom furniture for the room intended for Drew.

I was really, really helpful. Like when Mom asked me to go re-measure something because we forgot the dimensions, I went to the part of the store that had the dresser Mom was looking at for Drew’s blue room. But then I saw this:

THAT BEAR IS WEARING A BASKET LIKE A BACKPACK. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO WANT TO OWN THIS PIECE OF ART.

Hello! I LOVE BEARS! (And dinosaurs. But there were no backpack-wearing dinosaurs. Sad.)

So THEN I found THIS:

What a precious little bear face! I immediately wished that “my room” hadn’t been painted a perfect yellow color and that all my furniture and bedding wasn’t already decided upon. I wished I could change the design concept of “my room” to BEAR LAND.

And then I found THIS and knew that we had definitely made the wrong choice with the yellow.

DANCING, HAND-HOLDING BEARS. I was IN LOVE. How can you NOT love that?!!? It’s hilarious and precious! What an excellent conversation piece!! THIS IS ART!!!

I obviously was taking way longer than she had anticipated, so after a while, Mom came looking for me. I had been running around like a ninny, looking for all things bear-shaped/themed.

I found this gem when Mom found me:

It reminded me of the time I murdered one of God’s creatures. And Mom wondered what the fuck I was doing.

I told her I had a brand new design concept for any room of the house. I told her bears would look glorious in any room, or that we could spread them out throughout the house. I told her that they would be great conversation starters and that if no one else would appreciate them, I would appreciate the bears enough for everyone on earth. Because I loved them.

But then she scolded me, reminded me I’m an adult and t0ok my phone away. I followed behind her, dejected, as we made our way to the place where she paid for her maroon love seat and Drew’s bedroom furniture.

Looks like I did a lot more looking than she did. And the bears remain at the store.

So, I think I mentioned this before but my mom is building a house. Well, obviously she is not the one doing the hard labor and constructing a dwelling deemed livable. There’s just no way that could actually happen. But you know what I mean.

Because of this new house, my mom is basically a basketcase and walks around life like a ninny. (I really wanted to use that word!) She has been trying to get her house “ready to put on the market” which means making repairs and throwing all of our random shit away.

None of this would really be worthy of telling you about except it is now encroaching on my life. I have been told that I must pack up all of my childhood books and the rest of the crap in my bedroom that I haven’t taken with me anywhere. Okay, fine. I can do that. But the repairs? At least give a girl some warning!

After a night out terrorizing East Lansing with a couple of my best gals, I awoke this morning at 6:50 am (ish) to hear my mother fluttering around the kitchen and down the hall as her heels clicked against the hardwood floor. I immediately rolled back over and continued right on sleeping. Much too early to be awake. THEN, a text woke me up (thanks a lot, Nikki- lol just kidding! love you!) around 9:30 am or something. I deemed this a suitable time to rise. So after texting back and forth a for a while, apologizing to a couple people I happened to inappropriately drunk-text, and deciding I needed to watch an episode of Dawson’s Creek, I heard someone walkin’ around downstairs. I assumed it was my mom. (I have this joke with her lately that she just never goes to work anymore- but it’s totally a joke. She does go to work. And she loves her job. FYI. hahaha)

So, because I assumed it was my mom, I got out of bed, opened my door and took a first few tentative steps out into the loft before saying something snarky to Tam (my mom) about how she’s a slacker and never goes to work.

Oh. It totally wasn’t my mom. Whoever it was totally heard me get up and was like, “HELLO!?!”

Uhm. That’s a man-voice. WTF?!

Uhm. Hello?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE SAID?! (Maybe I should have gone with something like “WHO DERE?!” bahahaha at least I crack myself up…)

“I’m John,” said the odd man in my home.

Suddenly, I was thankful I put pants on. I almost didn’t!

Uuuuuum, I’m Katie?

“I’m just putting up some drywall here for your mother?”

This is when I just retreated towards my room. I would hide until he was gone. My hair was huge and completely weird shaped. The X drawn on my hand in permanent marker from the bar last night was probably now transferred to my cheek. I didn’t need to know what this man looked like or what he was doing. Just. Go. Away. But he sounded busy, so I figured I’d wait it out.

Oh. Okay.

I hightailed it back to my room, closed the door, took my pants back off, and crawled back into bed. I texted my mom “it’s not awkward at all with this random man in my house or anything…” but she didn’t care enough about me to text me back.

It seemed like I was waiting forever. After an episode of Dawson’s Creek that I pretty much slept through, I decided I couldn’t live like a prisoner in my own home anymore. So I grabbed my clothes and tip-toed to the bathroom. After showering and getting dressed, I got the f outta there and ran my very-important errands. Yeah, right. I basically invented a reason to gtfo of my house for at least an hour.

HE WAS STILL THERE WHEN I GOT BACK. AND HE LOOKS LIKE SANTA CLAUS.

AND HE CONVERSED WITH ME AS IF OUR AWKWARD INTRODUCTION NEVER TOOK PLACE.

meredith grey knows what's up

So, I went right along with it. I pretended this morning never happened, just like the annoying thing that happened last night. And the awkward thing that happened yesterday after work. If Santa can handle avoidance behavior, then I’m just gonna continue living my life “under a banner of avoidance.” Really, this just instills in me the idea that being “dark and twisty” and an avoider is okay. This all just really reinforces my belief that if I’m any one character from Grey’s Anatomy, it is indeed Meredith. And if you watch that show, she’s not exactly… stable. But whatever, she gets help and becomes bright and shiny. Maybe someday I’ll be bright and shiny Meredith too. Change does happen, you know. I used to be very Cristina, but as I just told you, I’m not so much anymore.

This got very off-topic. Where was I?

Oh yes. Santa. (Sidenote: As I was writing Santa, I almost wrote Satan. Interesting.)

Santa Claus just continued on merrily, putting up drywall or something. And then he finally left, but not before asking me if it was okay to leave his ladder here since he would be returning at 9 am tomorrow morning.

I can’t wait. Maybe I’ll ask him for a pony tomorrow. Or maybe not since horses freak me out.

Oh, I know. I’ll ask him for a boyfriend an *NSYNC reunion tour! Ooh, or for Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears to bury the hatchet and get their love-fest back on. Or for Mel Gibson to not be so terrible and make him go away. (I could do this forever.)