The Heartbreaker

I have seen them in the halls and in the classrooms. I have seen them out at recess and rarely at extracurricular events. They are the kids in pain. They are alone always. They cannot interact with their peers and are bullied and/or picked on mercilessly. The inner pain is severe, acute and unbearable after awhile. They wait for their parents, their teachers, their adults to save them from the anguish, social isolation, and loneliness of their lives. Years go by. The school psychologist is overwhelmed with the tasks and details of testing. The School Adjustment Counselors have been cut due to our inability/unwillingness to support our children. Mental health services funded by the community are rare or non-exsistent. Finally, after years of psychological and emotional, isolation and cruelty, for a rare minority of these kids/young adults, something snaps. All the pain rushes up from the inner recesses of memory and the unshared experience of isolation to power revenge and relief. For the past few days I have been seeing all of the beautiful first graders and young children in all my schools over my 40 year career. I have wept for those lovely kids, teachers and administrators killed at Sandy Hook. Today, I weep for Adam the cause and victim of so much unbearable heartache. I weep for my country and my community who readily spend more on cosmetics, laxatives, gambling than on mental health services for our youth. Until this is addressed there will be more Adams waiting and suffering alone. Until we honestly and forthrightly commit whatever it takes to our most valuable resource, our children, more Adams are inevitable. Yes, I see them too, I see all the loners and lonely sliding down the corridors as close to the wall as possible and hoping that someone would see and alleviate the pain. I see them and weep.