11 Comments on “I killed you both and havent learned to forgive myself…”

How could you possibly be responsible for your father’s heroin addiction. Such a thing was not about you nor remotely related to you. You have obviously lived a very difficult life already. Please don’t add to your burdens by taking on blame that isn’t even CLOSE to being yours. Try to look at what you are…a survivor! Your strength and courage have taken you a long way over a torturous path. Take heart and forge ahead. Have a good life.

Oh Sweetheart. ..you are so off base with this. PLEASE find a counselor to speak with immediately or you will die as well—-but your death…it will be different. It will take decades of self degregation and hatred. You deserve a different life. A life with a light at the end of this tunnle you are in. I wish I could work with you…I’m a therapist myself. Please believe this: your parents’s lives and choices——- don’t need to be yours. You were the child. They would probably turn over in their graves if they knew you felt this way. Addiction is a disease Sweetie. It had nothing to do with you. And please, KNOW THIS: There is NOTHING you could have done differently. A practicing addict cannot stop on their own. Let it go. Go find yourself—what are you good at????? What do you want to do with your life? DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN???? If so, how would you feel if your child felt responsible for your “addiction and death”?? I cannot believe I am going to do this : here is my e-mail: [email protected] Get in touch. I’ll help in any way I can. Free of charge.

A lot of people in your situation are completely helpless. If you couldn’t find a way to help, I’m sure it wasn’t because you weren’t trying your best to find one. I guess, and hope, you did all you could. But it’s likely it was simply out of your hands. What do I know, though? That is just a fucked up situation and you would have the most horrible feelings about it, no matter what the horror was related to.

My heart is broken for you right now. It is a parent’s job to protect their child, not a child’s job to save a parent from themselves. Your father failed, not you. Please know that. Please PLEASE know that.

WOW this hurt…
I can feel tears pushing through my lacrimal ducts even a person as misanthropic as I am would feel saddened by this.
I don’t know if someone really had written this or if this is just a randomly generated item… wow it hurts to read this and think of the individual’s reality. What life must be like for them… A brazened memory echoing on like that warping the very fragile fabric of somone’s psyche….
And needless to say this post furthed my misanthropy…

I actually made and provided the drugs that my mother overdosed on and i have not been able to find forgiveness either. I do not think i deserve it. I struggle with this everyday. It has been years and hasn’t faded even a little. I am sorry and i know the pain. It helped me reading this tonight, thank you.

8. Thou shalt not use a paperclip as a bookmark. Third time is the charm. Use only a bookmark created for that specific purpose to mark your place. Using a paperclip can not only tear the page, but will leave creases and other unsightly marks.