The Legacy of Love – Prodigal Magazine

She is not quite three years old on this day, looking around the circled family at this strange, new table, trying to find the thread that connects us all to one another. It’s a very long thread, actually, starting with the old woman on her right and weaving its way through the assembled group and beyond.

It’s a thread that shimmers with light and grace and shared history. But most of all, it’s a thread that sings when you pluck it — a thread that sings of love over time.

My mother married my father when they were young and wildly in love.

Both came from differently dysfunctional families, both wanted to create something brand new in their coming together, and they did it. Two children, two years apart, a girl (me) and a boy, and then another boy, almost 11 years later. They built a home that was far from perfect but was wonderful, warm and winsome nonetheless.

Faith was central, education was highly valued, music was ever-present, and laughter was required.

There were parties and camping trips, and Friday night movies with popcorn and Bubble-Up and Hershey’s giant chocolate almond bar. There were honest discussions, sometimes angry words, and more than a few tears. But under and around and through everything, there was love.

Lots and lots of love.

Then my husband and I got married when we were young and wildly in love.

We both came from far more functional homes than any of our parents and we, too, wanted to create something different, something unique, as we built our own home. And together, we decided that keeping what was good from our original family circles would be a high priority. So grandparents were a big part of our family story.

Our three children had all four of their grandparents actively involved in their lives until they themselves were married and had kids of their own.

Comments

I did! And you are right, it is a rare gift. Two of my grands died while I was too young to remember them. My father’s parents were divorced. I never knew his dad and my grandmother, like her son my dad, was emotionally distant. By the grace of God, I think I’ve been able to be a different kind of “mimi”.

And I thank you for leaving comments both places! I remember your earlier writing about your distant grandmother and every single thing you post about your family tells me that you are about as far from that as it is possible to be. You love very, very well, Patricia.

I love that you say you came from more functional families than your parents did – this is proof that it is possible, lol!
This is what we wanted our extended family to look like for our children… unfortunately, it doesn’t. We are taking notes from our relatives on what not to do!
I have always felt a little jealous when I hear of Christians dying – they get to be with Jesus, and I’m still stuck here, such a long way from Home. But a few days ago I realised that if I want my grandchildren to have grandparents, that means I have to be here for a long time yet. I know – blinding flash of the obvious, right?! So I’m resigning myself to being here for the duration, I don’t want my unborn-grandbabies to have to miss out like my kids have.

It is proof that it is possible, Donna! My parents were very deliberate about this and all four of our parents have been central to our family story. So yes, you do have to live long enough to give those unborn grandbabies a shot at this – it is SO worth it. Even when they get old and start coming undone, it is more than worth it to have had them in our lives for so long. Truly.

A retired-part-time-pastor-learning-to-be-a-spiritual-director with a family I adore sensing an increasingly urgent call to write-my-life-down, to preserve my sanity and create some space to breathe. Read my complete profile.

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