Let's talk about Miley Cyrus. The same Miley Cyrus who had that notorious television show on Disney that I always tried to avoid, even though I’d always manage to find myself singing along to that famous/annoying opening and perhaps even watching the entire episode that followed. The same Miley Cyrus that represented the tween population of the mid-2000’s, of which I am part of. The same Miley Cyrus that completed a 180 and turned in her sparkly jacket and pop-country music into leotards and music that could shake one’s ass to. Personally, I think this is an impossible task. I cannot for the life of me feign interest for this provocative woman who shakes her butt off in front of thousands and thousands of people, knowing that she was the same girl who my sister and I used to idolize when we were in grade school. Ok yes, I did like her show. Instead, I will discuss why the “party girl” persona that Miley has so effortlessly exuded since the start of her Bangerz days is very much appealing in today's society. I’m pretty sure if a popstar in the 1980’s would pull the things that Miley has done over the past two years, then she’d be run off from Hollywood by a mob of angry parents. But the funny thing about the present is, everyone started loving the feeling of getting surprised. Whether it be watching something on YouTube that you’d never seen before, or seeing one of your favourite pop stars act like a common provocative woman, people love new, edgy things. And that is what Miley is, edgy. ​You cannot deny that her dance moves and open sexuality is something we have never seen before. Even if it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, there is something there that draws our eyes back to her. That is where Miley’s charm lies. She has the ability to draw you in to her and her music using her controversial methods. ​I’d be lying if I said that I was not intrigued by the thought of seeing the “Wrecking Ball” music video, or her performance with Robin Thicke at the MTV Music Video Awards. I’d be lying if I told someone that a famous pop star acting like a stripper is not interesting to me. In fact, anyone who says that is someone who is a liar. Even parents can’t help but look at Miley whenever she starts twerking her ass off. It is not who she is, it is what she does. Her persona just draws people towards her and it is incredibly amazing for me. ​That is why she is worthy of being called a crush. Certain people don’t have a crush on her, but our entire society does.

We all know/knew someone who we became really good friends with but slowly started to feel that we've become friends with a person who we never really wanted to become friends with. You realize that you've started to do things that you never did before (negative things) and you’re starting to go against what you stood for and many more because of this friend.

For those of you who have never really been in that position, here are three ways (out of a whole bunch) to detect a toxic friend.

DOING THINGS YOU NEVER DID/GOING AGAINST WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN This can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you handle this. However, some people may force you to do things that you never wanted to do. Consent is key and if you are feeling pressured to do something then I think you are not friends with the right people. Friends will and should accept you, for you. If you don’t drink, they should be fine with it. You never dated anyone; they should be chill. You never had sex; they shouldn't give a fuck about that.

IF YOU ARE SUDDENLY DOING THINGS YOU DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING OR FEEL PRESSURED, DROP THAT PERSON QUICKLY BECAUSE THEY SPELL BAD NEWS FOR YOU IN THE FUTURE. YOU COULD JEOPARDIZE A LOT OF THINGS BECAUSE YOU’LL BE DOING THE WRONG THINGS.

HOW THEY MAKE YOU FEEL When you start to get to know someone, you feel comfortable around her to the point where you can be honest about personal issues and things that, although may make them frown, will try to help you out. You essentially want to have friends who make you feel good about yourself, who reassures you that you don’t need that horrible guy or girl in your life. However, there are some people out there in the world who will make you feel terrible about yourself.

I am going to tell one (out of the many) ways that I have dealt with detecting a toxic friend: When you finally pull yourself out of that horrible, personal hole that made you not you, but then you start talking to your ‘friend’ and suddenly they’ll make you feel like you’re back in that horrible hole. This is a prime example of a toxic friend. They can sometimes slip in things like ‘I like it when our conversations don’t go anywhere, it’s taught me to not expect much’ or ‘I cried myself to sleep at night’ with no reason to do so. You may feel like you've gone back a step, that maybe you aren't good enough to be in the position you are in because your friend is telling you all of this.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. YOU ARE BETTER THAN SOME PERSON WHO MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT.

THEY DRAG YOU DOWN WITH THEM Remember when you sat anxiously in class when you did something wrong with your friend but they never told on you? That’s true friendship right there. However, as you grow up, you have a tendency to meet a lot of people who are prepared to take you down with them - even if you did nothing wrong. One way this could happen is when they, for example, pressure you into drugs because they don’t want to do it alone. Not only your ‘friend’ but you as well could become drug infused and so both of you will be drug addicts together - if it were to happen. A second way is when you had no part in whatever got them into trouble but then they bring your name into the equation and BAM you’re also in trouble - possibly more so than your ‘friend’.

Basically you want to drop them like they’re a hot potato because you are so much better than getting burnt.

When you speak and the person with whom you’re speaking with doesn’t listen, what do you do? You try to get their attention so they listen to what you’re saying, right?

That’s exactly what Emma Sulkowicz did when her complaint for the mishandling of her sexual-assault case fell on her university’s deaf ears. And she caught their attention in a really massive way.

On the first day of her fall semester at Columbia University, she brought the twin-size mattress from her dorm room in school and carried it around all day. The mattress, where she was raped by a fellow student two years ago, represents not only the actual crime that was committed against her, but also the emotional weight—the burden—of having such abuse happen to her with no consequence for her abuser and of being ignored by authorities. She calls this performance art “Mattress Performance or Carry That Weight,” which she is doing not only for her thesis, but also to call to protest, and attention the injustice that has been done to her—she will not stop carrying it until her rapist no longer attends the same school as her, even if it will take until the day of her graduation.

Ever since she started, she has been garnering a lot of attention. It is quite difficult to ignore someone lugging around a long, heavy mattress all around campus, especially if it’s for a significant and powerful cause. Her protest is being noticed not only by people in the university, but by people all around the world. Her performance art made some buzz on social media, and she even landed the cover of New York magazine, with a feature on her story. Her movement is so powerful, that she has become the symbol of the fight against rape culture.

So what is rape culture? It’s not really just a group of people who promotes rape, but a society that collectively thinks that rape is acceptable. Rape culture consists of “practices that we engage in as a society that excuse or otherwise tolerate sexual violence.”

Rape culture is blaming victims for what happened to them. Rape culture is justifying their rape based on what they were wearing, or how they were acting, prior to their rape. Rape culture is calling victims who report their rape “liars,” that they’re “overreacting,” and that they probably deserved what happened to them.

Rape culture is letting rapists run free, with no consequences whatsoever. Rape culture is only 3% of rapists serving a day in jail.

Rape culture is joking and making light of a violent crime. Rape culture is t-shirts and other merchandise with slogans that make rape a joke. Rape culture is having media, songs, shows, movies, that objectify women, that sexualise them. Rape culture is making men in charge of women’s sexuality instead of having women themselves be in control of their own bodies. Rape culture is saying that men who are raped shouldn't complain, that they should enjoy it. Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that anyone can get raped regardless of gender.

Rape culture is the fetishization of minorities: of people of color, of trans people, of non-binary people, of genderfluid people, of non-monosexual people. Rape culture is refusing to kink-shame sexually immoral and illegal acts like pedophilia.

Rape culture is pornography that is easily accessible, pornography that always depicts sexual violence and dominance towards women. Rape culture is sex workers who are dehumanized constantly. Rape culture is saying that rape is just “kinky” sex, when it is in fact an act of violence. Rape culture is teaching how not to get raped instead of not to rape.

The list goes on and on, and rape culture will not end unless we, as a society, make active steps to fight towards it, even in simple ways. We may not all be like Emma Sulkowicz who is strong and brave enough to carry the symbol of her oppression, but we can help her carry the weight so that victims of rape culture won’t have to suffer anymore.

If you told someone that you were hearing voices in your head, they'd most probably think you belong in an asylum. But here's the funny thing, everyday our head is filled with so many voices that it's a wonder that we are all still sane. We hear the voices of our friends, families, the celebrities we admire and even people we barely know, all telling us to do different things based on so many contrasting beliefs and opinions. With all these screaming in your head, finding your own voice is a challenge. It's like going into an intricate labyrinth. It is not hard to lose yourself in that sea of voices. It's not hard to just let what people say about you put you down. It's not hard to just let yourself go and just let them use you. Which is why we must not lose that voice and be able to fight for our own. This is an article that shows you how.

1. Find Yourself, Find Your Voice

How will you be able to fight for something that you can't even distinguish? Finding yourself, your voice, is not an easy task. In fact, it's the most difficult step. As they say, the beginning is always the hardest. A lot of people get stuck here. It's ironic really, you lose yourself in the process of trying to find yourself. The reason behind this is that people complicate things. You really don't need a worldwide adventure to recognize who you are. You already know what kind of person you are. You've been building this person all your life. It's in your subconscious. It's in all the decisions you have made. Finding yourself is just a matter of recognizing what you believe in, what you want to do, what your favorite color is. That mix of everything you do, everything you say, everything you see, all of that makes up you. There's really no definite word to describe who you are because that person is worth much more than words.

2. Believe in Yourself

Often times, people are put down because they do not have self-confidence. They don't believe in themselves, in their own voice. So society says, why should I believe in you? Having faith and respect for yourself is so essential in life. Without it, you are just an empty shell, going through life. You let other people, the voices, tell you who you're supposed to be because you have no respect for yourself. Which is why I'm telling you now, love who you are. Love everything about you. Let them call you every name they can because once you've believed in yourself, those voices don't matter anymore. You've been hearing this same advice all your life. Don't let it reach to the point where you have too many regrets already. Have love and respect for yourself and the rest will follow.

3. Fight for Yourself

There has been so many times where we have been put down by so many people; it becomes countless and tiring. You lose faith really. Do not let yourself succumb to those thoughts of giving up. Fight back. Tell everyone who has ever thought that you were nothing, that you could not reach the goal, that you were beneath them, to just stop because you know you're not, and no amount of taunting could ever put you down. Fight because you, yes, you who is reading this, is worth fighting for.

4. Let the Voices Go

After finding, believing, and fighting for yourself, this is the easiest step. You'll realize that all those voices in your head, all those voices that have destroyed you so many times, mean nothing anymore. You realize they're just voices and their effect on you was purely by choice. Letting go of them, is not even needed anymore by this time because you've already let go. You'll look in the mirror and see a happier person. A person who smiles a bit more, stands up a little straighter, and just glows with self-confidence.

5. Finding the Balance Now, after you've pushed all those voices out, slowly hand pick a few and let them in. Let in the voices that matter. Find the voices which will help to continuously make a better you. After reading steps 1-4, you might think that it's pretty crazy for you to do that. Well it's not. Think back to all those times where you felt like nothing because no one would listen to your concrete and sound advice. Don't be that person who you loathed before for not listening to you. Be a person who knows how to distinguish the good from the bad voices, and be an inspiration for others to do the same.