What I learned from Dungeons and Dragons: becoming a part of the group - You gotta have a shtick

I joined our group of adventurers after I returned from a
semester abroad. The best I can recall is that my roommate introduced me to the
group after realizing that we were the only two people in our dorm not to play
Lacrosse. (How we ended up roommates can only be explained by divine
intervention and serious luck.)
Most D&D players are nerds, are socially awkward, and
are closet extrovert/actors. While few people would have guessed it of me in
college (or even now), I am an introvert. I can present in front of a group. I
can talk to total strangers, but I have cultivated those skills with more
success in some situation and less success in others. Coming into a new gaming
situation and having to pick up a character that the DM had been playing up to
that point was a little, well, awkward.
I remember sitting the first part of that adventure just
trying to feel out what everyone’s role was and how I was going to play my character.
Most of the time, I am a rogue who does not indulge in evil. My characters just
want to have a good time and make sure that no one gets hurt too much. They
also like to be sneaky and fast. However, for this particular character, I had
to play him how the DM was playing him until my character opened a magic deck
of cards and had a tiny alignment shift going from neutral to neutral evil.
Generally, I am against playing evil characters, just on
principal, but the chaos that being just a little bit evil allowed me to engage
in also gave me an in for the group. It gave me my shtick – a way to choose
every action based on a clearly defined characteristic without worrying about
the rest of the group. It allowed my character to team up with our truly evil thief,
who stole from the group every chance she could. It also gave the group a goal
to get the curse that changed my character’s alignment removed. Even while my
character was at odds with the group and we were fighting each other, they were
seeking only to help my character, and that teamwork actually gave me a reason
to continue playing.
By accepting my character, in spite of his flaws and his
insane plan to kill everyone in the group (which was encourage by the DM as
just good storytelling), the group of players was able to accept me as a
person. Their actions toward my character reassured me that I would be accepted
as a player; regardless what I did to mess up the flow of the game. It was
freeing to find friends who were willing to put up with my idiosyncrasies, as a
player and a person.
It also showed me that the easiest way to help people to get
to know you is to present yourself as a character. This character, however, is
not someone you made up. It is a part of you that you enjoy being. The parts of
you are there, but the character that is you is the one you present every day,
and you have the opportunity to choose what you let people experience and what
you hide. It also gives you an opportunity to find people who will put up with
the character trait that you value highly.
It was once pointed out to me that when I meet an attractive
woman, especially if she is a waitress, I fall into pun mode. I love puns. It
takes shared experience, intelligence and knowledge to be able to follow puns.
Most people do not appreciate the word play that is made of puns. But this is
my shtick. I figure if she can follow and enjoy my puns – groaning counts as
enjoyment – she is worth pursuing further.
The point is that you gotta have a shtick. You need to have
a personality that is going to give you a chance. It isn’t all you need, but it
is a good start. Then you have to follow that shtick with depth.