101 Classic Lies

1. The cheque’s in the post. 2. I’ll only be five minutes. 3. No, I never received your email. 4. This won’t hurt a bit. 5. This will hurt me more than it hurts you. 6. The car broke down. 7. No you don’t look fat in that dress. 8. I have read the terms of the license agreement. 9. Of cause I love you. 10. Size doesn’t matter. 11. Money isn’t important. 12. It’s just what I always wanted. 13. I’m not fat, I’m Just big boned. 14. Windows Vista, our best operating system ever. 15. It was the traffic. 16. I promise I wont laugh. 17. If you tell the truth you won’t get into trouble. 18. Not tonight, I have a headache. 19. My client, a Nigerian prince…. 20. I only had one pint at the pub. 21. The alarm clock didn’t go off. 22. I did not have sex with that woman. 23. I’m almost ready 24. It is 100% free. 25. It’s definitely not a love bite. 26. It’s the taking part that counts. 27. I have never watched porn. 28. This is not a sales call. 29. I won’t get mad at you. 30. We’re just good friends. 31. I’m giving it up tomorrow. 32. They must be someone else’s 33. Congratulations, you have won an apple iphone. 34. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. 35. No I didn’t fart, it must have been the dog.

36. I have no idea how it got there. 37. I smoked pot at college but didn’t inhale. 38. 83% of statistics are made up on the spot. 39. I will remember that. 40. This offer will never be repeated. 41. You get dimples from sleeping on a stick. 42. Almost entirely rust free. 43. I pledge not to put up tuition fees. 44. But I’m diferent from all those other guys. 45. Guaranteed to work first time. 46. I’m 25, 6’3″, athletic build. 47. You make your own destiny. 48. Nobody would ever do that. 49. Yes, that makes a lot of sense. 50. I havent had a chance to pick up my giro yet. 51. KFC – It’s finger-licking good. 52. Just ignore him and he’ll go away. 53. Of cause it’s my natural color. 54. I’m too sexy for my shirt. 55. I cannot tell a lie. 56. Slow and steady wins the race. 57. Our people are our greatest asset. 58. I understand you were involved in a car accident. 59. All things come to he who waits. 60. Really? You look much younger. 61. If you keep doing that you will go blind. 62. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me. 63. The customer is always right. 64. The NHS is safe in our hands. 65. It is a foolproof way to make money. 66. Ohh what a cute baby. 67. Of course I’m listening. 68. I was just about to call you 69. Frequently asked questions. 70. I would never so much as look at another woman.

71. I was not looking at that other woman. 72. I’m in a meeting at the moment. 73. I’ll get on it right away. 74. I could stop smoking any time I wanted to. 75. It was a mutual decision to break up. 76. I don’t remember anything about it. 77. There must be something wrong with my phone 78. I am over eighteen. 79. I am (or am not) a virgin. 80. Peugeot – The drive of your life. 81. I just need to be on my own for a while. 82. Study hard and you are bound to pass. 83. I’m afraid I lost your phone number. 84. The future of music is the piano accordion. 85. Bald is beautiful. 86. It’s never too late. 87. I am fine. 88. Of course I remember. 89. Red bull gives you wings. 90. I said no such thing. 91. This for your own good. 92. Loose weight effortlessly. 93. I won’t tell anyone else. 94. Read my lips, there will be no new taxes. 95. I’m really sorry 96. I never lie. 97. Your call is important to us. 98. It was like that when I found it. 99. I couldn’t get a signal. 100. I left my wallet at home. 101. Have a nice day.