A turf war has broken out among the scribes at Vulture Towers North over the fried delicacies that should and should not be included in the world famous Full English gut buster Breakfast.
Based as El Reg is, in deepest hipster central - East London - we've witnessed people starting their day in local coffee shops, consuming …

Re: And for the days when a lighter meal might be considered

I can think of a lot of things I'd like to do with 'kippers. The G&S line about "something humorous but lingering..." would seem to be appropriate, given the distinctly unfunny and lingering fate they've inflicted on the UK.

GNU TERRY PRATCHETT

“They don't go in for the fancy or exotic, but stick to conventional food like flightless bird embryos, minced organs in intestine skins, slices of hog flesh and burnt ground grass seeds dipped in animal fats; or, as it is known in their patois, egg, sausage, bacon and a fried slice of toast.”

Tattie Scone is another essential ingredient north of the border, and most of us up here will also prefer square sausage. It's pronounced "squerr", it's never called Lorne and it almost certainly isn't actually square, but such are the ways of things.

As an aside, seeing as hipsters are the cause of this article, a story from the 80s.

The Glasgow Herald (as was, now just The Herald) used to run a column called Tom Shield's Diaries for it's more irreverant stories. Concerned about the gentrification of Glasgow in the yuppie era, they ran a comparison of the working man's breakfast in the 70s vs the 80s.

Croissant

Croissants have their place (Parisian railway station cafe) but are not breakfast.

How can you take something that looks,as though a baker had a bit of dough left over and didn't know what to do with it so he rolled it up and threw it in the oven anyway, as a serious part of ' the most important meal of the day' ?

There's a Learned Society for everything...

Whether I use the frying pan, griddle, or electric grill - I can never reproduce the Sunday morning fry-ups of my childhood. They were cooked on a tin or aluminium plate under a fierce gas grill. The bacon would not only be crisp - but the rind would "pop" to double its volume. Very crisp with a texture like a Crunchie bar.

There would be unsmoked bacon - possibly sausage or black pudding too. A runny yoke egg. Then grated "yellow" or "white" cheese which melted into a colourful pool against the juice of the tinned plum tomatoes. Possibly a spoonful of Heinz beans. No sauce in our house - even though pals ate "The Perishers" style ketchup sandwiches.

If it wasn't Sunday then there was a slice of fried white bread. On Sunday we would go to the Potteries oatcake*** shop round the corner while the breakfast was being cooked. The griddle range was set up in someone's front room and open for a very limited number of hours in the week.

The oatcakes had to be eaten warm as finger food - wrapped round a portion of fry-up with the grease running down your fingers. The trick was to load it just short of the point where the sharp bacon would otherwise rupture the thin oatcake and cause it to start disintegrating.

A sophisticated addition in later years were sliced button mushrooms. My sister won a bet of 1/- from our father for daring to eat those.

***Potteries oatcakes are like a thin pancake or a crêpe - but made with fine oatmeal and yeast.

"Are you frying in vegetable oil? Lard may be your missing ingredient."

Lard? Are you a southerner? Beef dripping all the way! Sadly, very difficult to get proper beef dripping with the pale brown colour these days. It's all filtered and clarified to a pasty white mush with no flavour. Use it and drain it back into a mug and leave in the fridge. After three or four fry-ups it starts get some proper flavour!