I am an international keynote speaker who helps leaders communicate with impact, foster collaboration, manage continuous change, engage others, build cultures of candor and increase sales. I'm the author of “The Nonverbal Advantage: Body Language at Work,” & “The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help – or Hurt – How You Lead.” My latest book is "The Truth About Lies in the Workplace: How to Spot Liars and What to do About Them." In this blog I focus primarily on nonverbal communication in the workplace. My greatest interest is how body language impacts leadership effectiveness. I’ve written over 300 articles in the fields of organizational change, leadership, innovation, employee engagement, collaboration, global business practices, lies and candor in the workplace, and body language. Prior to founding Kinsey Consulting Services (through which I offer management consulting and executive coaching), I was a therapist specializing in behavioral change, a singer and dancer in nightclubs, and a majorette for the 49er football team. But not in that order. Feel free to follow me on Twitter: cgoman, subscribe to me on Facebook, or Circle me on Google+.

12 Ways To Spot A Liar At Work

Your boss tells you that “this change is for the best,” but as she speaks, you notice her stiff body posture and forced smile. Is she being honest with you?

Your co-worker says he’d be happy to help you with your project, but he seems to pause a long time before answering – and while talking, his eyes stay focused on his computer monitor. Can you trust what he says?

“You can count on my support.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“You’re next in line for a promotion.”

Really?

Wouldn’t it be great to know when we’re being lied to? And, wouldn’t it be nice if exposing falsehoods were as easy as it is portrayed on television shows like “Lie to Me” and “The Mentalist?” But of course, those are entertaining fantasies. In real life, human beings are more complex than that. And, as commonplace as deception is, deception detection remains an inexact science.

For the vast majority of the individuals you work with, the act of lying triggers a heightened stress response. And these signs of stress and anxiety are obvious, if you know where to look. Basically, what we’re finding is that the mind has to work a lot harder to generate a false response. One theory – posed by Daniel Langleben, a psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania – is that, in order to tell a lie, the brain first has to stop itself from telling the truth and then create the deception, and then deal with the accompanying emotions of guilt, anxiety, and the fear of being caught.

Spotting deception begins with observing a person’s baseline behavior under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions so that you can detect meaningful deviations. One of the strategies that experienced police interrogators use is to ask a series of non-threatening questions while observing how the subject behaves when there is no reason to lie. Then, when the more difficult issues get addressed, the officers watch for changes in nonverbal behavior that indicate deception around key points.

In business dealings, the best way to understand someone’s baseline behavior is to observe her over an extended period of time. Note her speech tone, gestures, blinking patterns, etc. Once you’ve assessed what is “normal” for a co-worker, you will be able to detect shifts, when her body language is “out of character.” Just remember (and this is key), that the atypical signals you detect may be signs of lying — or a state of heightened anxiety caused by many other factors.

One of the biggest body language myths about liars is that they avoid eye contact. In fact, many liars, especial the most brazen, may actually overcompensate (to prove that they are not lying) by making too much eye contact and holding it too long.

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You don’t. That’s the problem with all text-based communication. When you can’t see my body language, you lose all the cues that would help you evaluate my truthfulness. And you’d do an even better job of evaluation if you could see my entire body. (Which may be why so many executives prefer to conduct business behind their desks.)

Nate, I can tell that Carol is not lying because I have 66 years of nearly unbelievable experiences. To summarize: My wonderful mom died when I was 5, I was physically abused by a care taker, abused by a priest, unsupported as a teenager, was was extremely shy and afraid of people, 6 years of therapy helped, my psychotherapist wife helped, met a psychopath at work, suffered a TBI 5 years ago, worked with another psychopath, and have read many books on how people’s minds work. One thing I have found, if you never ever lie, you will be much better at seeing liars for what they are.

@Nate: As to whether what you can trust Carol’s reported facts, you can compare it with the advice of others and with what you’ve already heard about body language. This is a matter of weighing evidence and conducting secondary research.

As to how you can tell whether she’s “lying” (e.g. about having written this article herself or about believing these things herself), as she says, text-based communication is much harder to parse because of the lack of nonverbal cues.

But as a sociolinguist and linguist, I think that inferences can be made even from examination of texts outside the social context. The key is to compare a document of dubious veracity with documents that provide a baseline. It is possible in some cases to prove statistically that word choice, for example, deviates from the norm. Of course, handwritten documents, with characteristic slant, pressure, spacing, etc., offer even more basis for analysis.

It is fair when conducting secondary research to assess the credibility of reported facts; when you have the luxury of a personal interview, you can call upon the cues that Carol mentions.

(Actually, I inferred that Nate was joking. My taking him seriously was my own playful choice.)

I tend to feel leery about attempts to take complicated psychological research and then extrapolate it into 12 steps. These behaviors probably indicate generalized anxiety. This anxiety could indicate that the topic itself is difficult and uncomfortable for the person, not that they are lying. I think it is dangerous to try and detect lying based on these behaviors. If someone is lying their actions will eventually trip them up. Even if you suspect lying what will you do about it? Accusing someone of lying is very offensive and shouldn’t be done without real evidence of it. All you will accomplish is to make someone angry, and to get another lie if they are lying.

Heather, “If someone is lying their actions will eventually trip them up.” *or* their lies will trip *you* up. From my experience, we need to pay attention to someone who strikes us as not quite right. You need to talk about it with friends who can also witness the not quite right person. Your senses can detect far more than any 12 items in a list. You’re right that dishonest people will just cook up another lie. Honest people will try to figure out, with you, how you got the notion that they were lying. An honest person with unknown issues will most likely get angry *especially* if they feel you are lying about or maligning them!

Heather, You said “If someone is lying their actions will eventually trip them up.” The problem with liars is that their actions can trip *you* up. We need to stay alert to someone who strikes us as “not quite right”. Talk with friends who can witness them and point out with others present how they seem mistaken when they lie. A good part of our brain wants us to believe everything is just fine with us and others. That’s often not true.

What do you do when your coworker works from a different location and the only exchanges are by phone and email? I worked with a guy who lied for two years and was only found out when he started to work in our headquarters office. By then, it was too late.

You may not think of yourself as a “body language expert” — but you are. You’ve been reading nonverbal cues from the day you were born. And when you (or any of us) are denied these cues, well . . . then we get lied to for two years.