Posts Tagged ‘Personality’

Apologies for no blogs recently Surgery took over my time for a while. Now Back for a while.

Positive or Negative?

What is your prevailing state of mind? Is it primarily positive or negative?

I believe it is important to maintain a positive state of mind as much as possible, for three different reasons.

Firstly, I believe that everything that happens to me personally originates from within. If I constantly think negative thoughts, negative things will happen to me. In other words, I strongly believe in the Law of Attraction. Whatever I focus on most will be attracted to me, be it good or bad. Why attract bad things when, if you choose, you can attract good things instead?

Secondly, I believe my state of mind spreads to those around me. You do not have to believe in magic just because I do or any of the “new thought” philosophies, even though I do, to believe you “infect” those around you with your moods. Imagine being in a room of people who are all in a bad mood and are showing this, for example, through their facial expressions. How does that make you feel? I would be most surprised if it made you feel happy! Wouldn’t you want to get out of that room as quickly as possible so you didn’t become miserable? Now imagine being in a room where everyone is happy. True, some people do react badly to this, so it is not quite as simple as it seems. But as long as there is not something deep within you that resents the happiness (for example if you have just lost a loved one) you will probably find the happiness is infectious too.

Lastly, if you have the choice of being happy or sad, which would you choose? Surely you would wish to be happy wouldn’t you? If you have a positive state of mind you are much more likely to be happy than sad. Happiness is not something external but rather comes from inside you. The things that happen to you do not, of themselves, make you happy or sad. They may trigger a happy or sad state of mind, but the key word here is “trigger”. It is not what happens itself that causes you to be happy or sad, but your state of mind. So why not choose to have a positive state of mind that makes you happy.

Realistic Optimism

Recently I heard a so-called expert on the radio assert that the “normal” state of mind of British people is pessimism. He berated those who are optimistic and said they should just accept the “normal” pessimistic state of mind which is the heritage of the British.

Why? I am British, and I certainly do not accept this point of view. I do accept that many are pessimists, and this is not restricted to the British. Indeed, some sales trainers tell us that the way to motivate British buyers is to get them to move away from the things they fear rather than towards the things they want. That may be true, but it doesn’t have to be.

We can choose to be optimistic if we wish. By all means realistic, but still optimistic. By “realistic” I mean not always so expecting the best outcome that we are shocked and disappointed when it doesn’t happen. But by “optimistic” I mean knowing that good things will happen, even if there are sometimes some less pleasant interludes on the way. Be prepared for the worst, but expect the best!

Victim Mind set

Many people have what is called a “victim mind state”. They are always asking “why does this happen to me?” They view themselves as always being the victim of unfortunate circumstances. If you believe you are a victim you will interpret everything that happens to you in this way.

Notice the choice of words here – “happens to you”. Victims have a grandiose sense of their own importance. Everything that happens is something happening to them. Not impersonal. Not just one of those things. But a part of a universal conspiracy to make them miserable. They are the centre of the universe. Not a kind universe but an evil, threatening universe.

Guess what? If that is the way you think you will start attracting those bad situations to you. Even when you are in a good situation, though, you will manage to find something bad within it. You will find the elements that support your view that you are a victim.

If you are a victim, escaping from this state of mind is not easy. But it is something you must do unless you want to stay miserable all your life.

The universe is not conspiring against you. It wants nothing more than to give you all the good things you want and deserve. But as long as you keep asking it for the bad things (which is what you are doing when you fall into the trap of the victim mindstate) it will give them to you. As it says in Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and it shall be given to you”. That applies just as much, unfortunately, to the bad things in life as well as the good things.

I Make It Happen

Most of us fall into the victim trap from time to time, even if we do not generally have the victim mindset personality. When it happens to you do NOT ask the question “why me?”, or you are in danger of falling deeper and deeper into the victim mindset. Instead, ask an empowering question. Ask “what can I do to ….” – and fill in the gap depending on the circumstances. “What can I do to make more money?” “What can I do to attract a lovely partner?” “What can I do to be happier?”. I am sure you can add many more examples. The universe always answers your questions eventually, so by asking such questions you will be finding the ways to a better life.

Move from the state of “it happens to me” (the victim state) to that of “I make it happen”. Ask the right questions, and then make it happen by following the answers to those questions.

It Happens Through Me

Ultimately, you can then move again from “it happens to me” to “it happens through me”. This is the state in which you are allowing universal power to flow through you and bring good things to those around you. By doing this you will find you are doubly blessed. You will certainly feel good being the instrument of the universe in bringing all that is good to others. But also you will find that as you give, so you will receive. This is a universal law which cannot be broken.

For most of us, our mindset is not a permanent fixture but a fluctuating state. Sometimes most of us will fall into the victim mindset unless we notice it starting to happen and take action to reverse it. Try as much as possible to be in the “it happens through me” mindset.

Don’t be taken in by those around you who try to tell you it is silly to be optimistic and the more realistic state of mind is the pessimistic one. This is only true if you let it be true. Don’t become a victim, but become the one who creates happiness all around and luxuriates in that happiness!

PMA Added..

The only challenges there are in your life are in your mind.When you realise that. .no matter the date time or year you have TWO choices to make.. The right one or the wrong one. Gray Lawrence

5 Ways to Change Your Mind About Your Body

“Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..” – Baz Luhrmann

For many years I believed the only way to get my ideal body was to whip it into shape with lashings of shame and hate. For some bizarre reason that I couldn’t fathom at the time, this strategy was unsuccessful.

If I lost weight, I always needed to lose more. If I felt overwhelmed, I ate my emotions and put the weight back on. No matter what I did, I never felt good enough.

Fortunately, I was blessed to receive the assistance of a gifted therapist to overcome my disordered relationship to food, exercise and my body. And whilst I still sometimes struggle, I have found when I consistently practice these 5 tips, my body and life are so much happier!

1. Acceptance

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein

Acceptance does not mean that you never want to change. It doesn’t mean that you’ll give up all desire to be fit and healthy and turn into a gluttonous slob.

It means that you wholeheartedly recognise where you are in your health journey with kindness and compassion, rather than piling on guilt and shame about where you “should be”.

Acceptance gives you permission to acknowledge where you are and also where you’d like to go. It’s far more motivating and sustainable than the self loathing that accompanies the “shoulds”.

Thinking about how much you should weigh, how faster you should be able to run, how stronger / fit / toned you should be is dejecting and usually leads to resentment.

Whenever I resented or felt ashamed about the way I looked, I was more likely to skip workouts or conversely, workout too much and end up injuring myself. Accepting where I was at on my health and fitness journey allowed me to approach workouts with much more kindness and joy.

2. Stop Comparing!

Stop comparing yourself to others, yourself to how you were yesterday or even how you were 5 years ago. Comparison truly is the thief of joy as it either leads to smug superiority or feelings of shameful inferiority. And as you already know, shame is not a sustainable motivator.

Recognise that you have unique abilities in this present moment. Honour the journey that has brought you to this place and renew your commitment to living your life of awesomeness.

A great first step is to go on a media diet.

Get rid of the magazines that uphold such ludicrous ideals of beauty. Even though you’re an intelligent person and you KNOW those models are digitally altered (making their beauty even more unrealistic) your primal brain doesn’t.

Your primitive brain, deep below your neocortex, is hardwired to accept reality as, well, real. It has no way of knowing that the images it sees in magazines are illogical and deceptive. It’s why movies and books are so powerfully entertaining and immersive.

The less material you have to fuel self-comparison, the better off your mental health will be.

I’ve even given up reading health and fitness magazines because I find that I end up focusing too much on the women’s bodies and how I stack up, instead of focusing on the fitness information.

3. Turn Down the Inner Bully

We all have a harsh inner monologue that criticises and blames us for when things go wrong, or that arcs up when things are about to get risky.

You know – the voice that is overly concerned with things being perfect, safe and secure. The voice that says things about you that you would NEVER say to anyone else.

Mine is particularly nasty if I’ve put on weight, if I’m trying something new, or if I’ve stuffed something up.

But just because you have one, doesn’t mean you have to listen to the horrible things they say.

Recognise the harsh, repetitive, adrenaline fuelled messages for what they are. Anxiety. They are not true statements about you, your personality or your potential.

4. Turn Up Your Inner Bestie

Transforming your critical monologue is as simple as treating yourself as you would your best friend.

Not always easy if your Inner Bully has been running rampant for a while – but simple.

The next time you begin to feel the dead-weight dread of your Inner Bully – imagine the situation that is causing the anxiety is happening to your Best Friend. What do you say to them when they are sick, scared or suffering? What do you do for them to soothe them? How do you treat your loved ones when they need your compassion?

Whenever I imagine how I would treat my bestie, there is often a large gap between how I would treat them and how I treat myself. Giving myself permission to be kind to myself has been a big step towards loving myself and my body more.

5. Mindfulness

Staying aware and focused in the present moment is at once grounding and liberating.

In an age of hyper connected 24-7 lifestyles, the ancient wisdom of mindfulness is more vital than ever. Slowing down and appreciating the present moment gives you the opportunity to be grateful for all you have.

I’ve found mindfulness to be excellent at reducing my anxiety, which helps prevent emotional eating. It helps my pay more attention to hunger and satiety clues, helping to prevent overeating. And it gives me focus, which vastly improves the quality of my workout.

Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as taking 10 minutes per day just to sit quietly and breathe. The intention is not to stop thinking, Lover to avoid thinking negative thoughts. The goal is to quietly witness the thoughts without attaching judgment or criticism. Whenever you get distracted, just gently guide your attention back to the physical sensation of breathing.

Mindfulness is definitely a practice. The more I do it, the more familiar it becomes and the benefits flow into all areas of my life.

Do you struggle with body image? How do you motivate yourself to stay fit and healthy? What other tips would you suggest for positive body love

The Power is from within, the choice is yours Gray Lawrence "Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein

PMA Added.

From The Secret Daily Teachings

Never let a day pass without looking for the good, feeling the good within you, praising, appreciating, blessing, and being grateful. Make it your life commitment, and you will stand in utter awe of what happens in your life. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

Inspired Quote of the Day™

Anyone can change the world with the willingness to surrender to a Higher Power, to shift their perception, to become accountable and to take a leap of faith regardless of outer conditions. ~ Colette Baron-Reid

Today’s Brilliance™

Colette Baron-Reid

If I could share 500 words of wisdom to summarize what I’ve learned so far in life, these are the important things I’d want to pass along to others…

When people ask what I’ve learned from the experiences in my life I have to smile. What always comes to my mind is faith, accountability, courage, forgiveness and compassion.

I have learned perception is everything, And, most of all participating in your own rescue is not an option. It’s a necessity.

My life has been an amazing adventure from the very beginning. Some may hear my story and say, "How did she survive"? I have gone from the highs and lows of a childhood where I had no idea that my sense of always being different, feeling and seeing so many things beyond my understanding would ever make sense, to an eating disorder, to alcohol abuse, to rape, violence and drug addiction. While any one of these experiences can be defined as horrible, collectively, it’s my life. They all led me to the person I am today, and enabled me the gift of insight and deep compassion for others who suffer.

All of those painful devastating things led to an extraordinary spiritual awakening and the deep integrated recovery that is a reflection of who I am today. I could tell my story as a victim or I could tell it as an adventure where I was the heroine that found the magic of meaning in all stories. Both would be true.

And there are other stories within the stories! There have been more that shape the person I am; writing and singing music, creating bestselling books, meeting the man of my dreams, and countless others. So what do they all mean? Whatever I decide they mean.

I tell them all the same thing. Perception is paramount. I’ve learned to define what the experience could mean to me, only when I allow myself to see through Spirit’s eyes and then the choices really begin.

I’ve learned that in order to thrive in life you MUST participate in your own rescue. This means being willing to take ownership of your role and actions in the experience. Make the choice to:

Love yourself enough to ask for help.

Love yourself enough to say no when it is necessary.

Love yourself enough to receive the help with an open heart. Your self worth depends on it! Participating in your own rescue also means that you are willing to be brave enough to do whatever it takes to turn yourself around.

Throughout my life I’ve had what some would deem as insurmountable events show up. I had many opportunities to give up. Surrender. Allow life to happen "to me". But, I discovered along my journey that these events shape me and give me the tools I need to help others with their journey. My ideal is to use my experiences as an example to others of what can happen when you make a choice to define the experience as opposed to allowing the experience to happen to you.

This line of thinking and feeling has brought me to deep levels of self worth. When I can guide someone out of the dark to a beautiful new landscape, my heart is filled with love for all that I have learned. Paying forward is my ultimate reward!

When you CHOOSE your perception, participate in your own rescue, and love yourself enough to allow the experience to educate you, you will grow by leaps and bounds!

There is no paycheck that can equal the feeling of contentment that comes from being the person you are meant to be. Oprah Winfrey

Great achievement is born of a struggle. Our strength grows out of our weakness, said Ralph Waldo Emerson. “Not until we are pricked and stung and sorely shot at, awakens the indignation which arms itself with secret forces.” Strife and struggle can inspire you to overcome adversity and to propel yourself to real achievement. View every struggle as an opportunity for personal growth. It is the struggle itself, not the result that builds character. If you know you are right, stay the course even though the whole world seems to be against you and everyone you know questions your judgment. When you prevail — and you eventually will if you stick to the job — they will all tell you that they knew all along you could do it. – Napoleon Hill

If I could share 500 words to inspire, this is the important wisdom I’d want to pass along to others…

Do you know what genius work is?

As a leader within your company, are you spending today doing genius work… the kind of work that is the most valuable and best use of your time? Genius work can be defined as a peak performance state-of-mind.

This means that when you are immersed in the genius work you most love and you are working on the projects that require your maximum attention, the results will be world-class! Doing genius work also means that you are focusing on the activities and the action steps that will deliver high impact results, on both a professional and personal level.

Defining Genius Work“If I could only focus on two key areas today, what would the most valuable and best use of my time be?”

This is the easiest and fastest way to define genius work. As a leader in your company, genius work might include an important interview to hire a new Superstar, a presentation to your Board of Directors on your financial performance or meeting with a new strategic alliance partner. Here is the key principle regarding genius work: your genius work can only be done by you.

Defining I Wish ProjectsOnce you have made a list of the professional activities that you consider genius work, make a list of every activity and/or project you are working on this week and month. Then, split this list into two separate lists… an “I Wish” list and a “Delegation” list.

Your I Wish list is best explained as the activities/projects that require your attention, but could be done by someone else if you spent 30-90 minutes to show this person the necessary steps. For instance, your genius work might include an important final interview for a new Superstar who wants to join your company. The I Wish step would include having first and second interviews done by others within your company and showing your assistant how to do reference checks.

When working with our coaching clients, their I Wish list is always a large and long list. During our weekly coaching calls, we focus on removing every single activity/project on their I Wish list…so they can gain an additional 10-20 hours per week of free time to spend doing the things they most love. Some clients are now taking monthly vacations, some are semi-retired and others are spending more time with their families.

There is always a shortage of people who get the job done on time without excuses or grumbling. If you really study those who have reached the top of any organization, you will find that they are the people who cheerfully accept challenges, take the initiative, and get the job done. They don’t complain, and they don’t make excuses. Those who never get anywhere in their jobs and careers can’t seem to understand that achievers don’t become achievers after they reach the top. They reached the top because of the way they conducted themselves along the way. You can easily become one of those individuals who regularly advance in the organization — if you are willing to pay the price. Any good manager will tell you that the type of people who are most in demand are those who can think for themselves, who will take the initiative to do the right thing without being told, and who will stick to the job until it is finished. You can be one of those people if you choose to be. Napoleon Hill

Defining Delegation WorkDelegation work is the easiest to explain. These are the activities/projects that can quickly be completed and only require 30-60 seconds of explanation. For example, your assistant can make copies of a presentation you are giving, your sales director can bring the results of his/her results to your next executive meeting, or your secretary can make a call to have your copier repaired. These are all one-step requests and can be easily delegated to those who work on your team.

Ready to live the life you always dreamed about? Let your “Genius” work for you professionally and personally!

From The Secret Daily Teachings

To understand the power and the magic of gratitude, you have to experience it for yourself. So why not begin by deciding to find 100 things a day to be grateful for? If you practice gratitude every day it won’t take long before gratitude is your natural state of being, and when that happens you will have unlocked one of the greatest secrets to life. May the joy be with you, Rhonda Byrne

“We can have better lives if we make up our minds to do so. The choice is ours. Wherever we go, there we are, as the people we have decided to be. We decide. That’s the revelation. We decide if we are going to live lives that are bitter or sweet. We decide, in every moment, to respond from peace or from fear. We decide.” The wisdom that Karen Casey shares in this life-altering book is simple, yet powerful; intuitive, yet profound. If you decide to change your mind, your life will follow. What will you decide? To Your Success,

Personality Makeover

Have you ever wanted a makeover? Or perhaps had one?

A makeover can make you feel on top of the world. But the kind of makeover most people have is rather superficial. It may be about a new set of clothes, cosmetics, a different haircut, or perhaps a combination of some or all of these.

The kind of makeover I am talking about here, though, is not superficial. Rather, it is permanent if you want it to be. Also it doesn’t need an expert to do it for you – it is something you do for yourself. I am talking about a makeover of your personality.

Why would you need or want a personality makeover? Well, are you perfect? I guess not. Are there some areas of your life where you would like to be better? Probably. If so, that is all the reason you need.

You should begin by taking stock of yourself. List your strengths and weaknesses. Where would you like to be better? Start narrowing down your list to those areas you would like to improve.

Once you have your list you are ready to begin.

In order to work the change you desire you will need to do the following three things:

1 Affirm

2 Visualize

3 Act

If you are familiar with personal development I am sure you recognize the first two. You have probably tried affirmations in the past even if you don’t regularly practise them now. You may also have tried visualization. By “act” I mean create the right body stance to match whatever personality characteristic you are trying to enhance.

Each of these techniques is powerful in its own right. Used together they are an unstoppable force!

Exactly how you will use them will depend very much on the traits you are trying to develop. I will give you an example here so you can see how it is done, but you must then adapt this so it fits the makeover you are applying to yourself.

Imagine you have decided you want to be happier. You want to maintain your happiness even in circumstances which might normally make you miserable.

Begin by creating the right phrases for your affirmations. Make them personal, make them “in the moment” rather than a future hope, and concentrate on the positive you want to develop, not the negative you want to reduce. So you should have phrases like “I am really happy right now!”, “Regardless of what is happening around me I am so happy!”, “I am happy all the time!”. Add to this list with some phrases of your own.

Now begin to think of some times when you were really happy. Picture them as vividly as you can. Try to visualize all the little details – everything you could see around you, what you could hear, even the smells. As you do so, call up the feeling of happiness you had then.

Extend this visualization to something that hasn’t yet happened, but that will make you happy. “Recall” it in just as much detail.

Begin acting happiness. Get into the body posture you have when you are happy. Smiling is an obvious start to this. But not just smiling. How about your shoulders? Are they hunched forward (a sign of being miserable rather than happy)? If so, sit up nice and straight with your shoulders pulled back. Not strained, but naturally back. Feel tall, as though your body is being pulled up into the sky.

Now put it all together. Affirm, visualize, and act happy. Not just the one time (although even just that once will make a big difference). Keep doing it. At least two or three times a day. Every day.

Consider this just like a physical exercise routine. Something you do regularly which gradually builds up the right muscles.

Within no time at all you will find you are so much happier. Great! Now pick the next trait on your list and work on that too, but not forgetting to keep working on the first one too. Before you know it you will be a different person. Just like those models you see in the makeover TV shows – but in a far more meaningful and positive way!