Three’s a Crowd

A few years back, my dear friend Ry subjected me to going out for a festive night in Fort Worth, with the hopes of running into Mario Lopez. Mr. Lopez was supposedly in-town (as we’d heard via radio I think) for the weekend taping something that coincided with his birthday. Ryan wanted to meet him–and, well, he wanted a little more.

We did spot Mario quite easily behind a maroon velvet rope with gold links in the corner of a swanky little joint. Ryan did her best to get past the ropes, but the ‘security’ guards weren’t having it. Mario’s bodyguard (or something of the sort) saw us and motioned to Ryan. He stated/questioned something to the effect of, ‘He’s looking for a good time tonight–are you interested?’ I almost got sick, but she was still in for the kill. We were able to sit by him–Ryan was able to sit by him. I took a picture. Then I sat in for a picture (above), which turned out to be unnatural and highly representative of the whole night. Needless to say, we bust a move about as quick as we could get a photo op, but I’m still scarred by the bodyguard floozie-screening process. What is wrong with these people? Ironically, this isn’t the only time I’ve been around to hear someone inquire about whether or not Ryan was into ‘one night stands.’ How many people can say they’ve overheard that one more than once?

Yes, Ry did return with me that evening. And yes, I am freaked out by Mario Lopez.