Women Gives Out Condemning Letter To Fat Kids For Halloween

I came across a story today about a woman in North Dakota who, instead of handing out candy, plans to give a letter to all obese trick-or-treaters! She says that she just wants to send a message to their parents.

Here is the content of the letter:

“Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor! You are probably wondering why your child has this note; have you ever heard the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child?’ I am disappointed in ‘the village’ of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo. You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season. My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits. Thank you.” (emphasis added)

From the tone of the letter, it seem as though she has good intentions. She sees a problem with the children in her neighborhood and she is attempting to send a message to the parents. The article quoted her offering this justification for distributing the letter:

I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it

To be fair, I’ve seen kids (and adults) eat what has to be well over 10,000 calories worth of treats on and directly following Halloween! Many parents seem to allow their kids to eat whatever they want, with very little rules in place, just because “that’s what you do around Halloween”.

Having said that, I still find it hard to believe that this woman feels justified in handing out this letter to kids that she has somehow decided have poor eating habits and need to have more discipline. I definitely don’t think that this message is going to be received very well, especially since most people in our society are far too sensitive to be able to take any form of criticism.

There is obviously a huge problem in this country with obesity, and since an obese child no longer stands out in this society, many parents don’t take it seriously enough. However, there are two things that strike me about this:

First, what criteria is she using to determine who gets the letter? Is she just going by which kids seem to have a little extra weight while wearing a costume?

Second, why doesn’t she just send this letter to every parent in her neighborhood? She can spend a couple of hours walking around and talking to some of them about her concerns. If they aren’t home, stick this letter in their mailbox. Of course, she should leave out the obese language if she were to choose this route.

I can’t imagine any of the parents who receive this letter tonight reacting in a positive manner. So even if she has a valid concern, all she will do is cause grief in my opinion.

What Do You Think?

Was this the appropriate thing to do considering her concerns?

How would you react if your child came home with this letter? Would your reaction change if your child read the letter and started feeling bad about himself?

If you had (or maybe you have) a concern about the lack of proper nutrition in our youth, what would your approach be?

Comments

I’ll definitely be angry, especially if she gave it out unsealed for my child to read. Halloween, just like Christmas is for children. It comes once a year and if I let my kids go on a trick or treat to ask for candies, it’s because I want them to have fun like the other kids and it’s not as if I’m letting them stuff themselves with sweets every day.

I’d be angry myself, this isn’t the right way to approach this at all. If anything if the child is curious enough to read it they could suffer serious emotional scars. It’s tantamount to adult bullying of children. Simply because a child goes trick or treating doesn’t mean they eat all of the candy at once. Growing up, we were limited to how much we could have a day and the candy was put up to avoid excessive consumption.

Halloween and trick-or-treating is not the appropriate time to voice her concerns about the neighborhood children’s obesity problems. If she wants to start a local “get fit” club or something like that, good for her. But Halloween is a fun time for children and I’m sure many parents don’t let their children eat all the candy they receive anyway. I’m guessing she’ll be real unpopular in her neighborhood for many years to come!

I think this is so wrong. As we know there is so many aspects that goes into why a child may be overweight or why they are underweight. One being mental, negative reinforcement will not work, it will cause that child more pain. There are ones that turn to food as comfort. I believe they are better ways to help. One being , volunteering in your community and teaching knowledge of what you get from eating healthy. I feel it takes more than stop eating Halloween candy to live a healthy lifestyle. There is exercise and dealing with internal feelings as they come up.Just my two cents.Let’s be there for these children without centering them out. My daughter has always been a healthy weight and she feels that center out any child overweight or underweight is not good.I have to agree with her.

Absolutely crazy for this woman to think that handing out such a letter will result in a positive outcome. If anything, the letter could damage a child’s self esteem and tick off a lot of parents. I think it is also crazy that this woman starts off her letter with Happy Halloween. What parts of her letter is going to make anyone happy. Also, instead of picking on the ones she thinks are obese, instead of the letter, why didn’t she just give out healthier alternatives to all kids, regardless of size. But she has taken it on herself to judge children, solely by how normal or overweight she thinks they are. Children are very sensitive to words. The letter is presumptuous and in very poor taste. Why doesn’t she take some of that energy and do something that will positively affect the community. She should use her words to encourage and uplift, not judge and condemn. If I felt like there was a problem with childhood obesity in my neighborhood and felt inclined to try to do something about it, I would first talk with professionals who are trained in this area and get their input before taking it upon myself to do something that could cause even more damage to a child. Then, I would implement a program geared toward activity and proper nutrition for all kids, not just the ones I felt were “overweight”. Just because a child is overweight does not mean he is eating poorly and just because a child is “skinny or normal” weight does not mean that child eats healthy. You cannot judge a child solely by the outward appearance and make a judgment call about that child’s health, nutrition or activity level.

Wow…I don’t think I could have said it better myself! I agree with everything that you said here, Resia. I really hope someone was able to deliver this type of message to her so she can change her actions for the future.

I’m concerned about a lot of things but singling out small children on a day off fun and making them feel like crap vis a vis my personal determination of their weight-MEAN!! If that happened to my child (if I had one) that would be one pissed off mama cussing her out on her porch. I’m not one to do that either-but, that letter would make me CRAAZZY!

I noticed that the writer of the letter did not sign it. I don’t know if the kids would have been able to tell the parents who gave them the letter, but it sounds like this person is simply a coward and a bully. The thing people have to remember is that you NEVER know someone’s story. You NEVER know what kind of environment or medical or personal issues someone is going through that may affect their appearance. If this would have happened to my child, I would have tracked down who it was and let gently let her know who’s job it really is to do the judging…..

I’m sure that was on purpose! She would have people tearing down her door if they all knew her. There might have been a few who remembered or at least had an idea – maybe she’s a nut and this isn’t her first time doing something outlandish lol. All it takes is one parent to make her regret her decision. Are you sure that your approach would have been “gentle”? 😉

I don’t know if this woman was trying to make Halloween a “teachable moment” but she really missed the mark. Monitoring the eating of kids when that is a parents responsibility. If I were her I would have made kids do like 10 push ups or jumping jacks before I gave them a piece of candy. Doesn’t sound like she was trying to do anything heinous, she just wasn’t very smart about it.