The Normal Bar

The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples and What They Reveal About Creating a New Normal in Your Relationship

“Normal” is a loaded word when it comes to sexuality. Many people are terrified of not “being normal” and yet we don’t really have an understanding of what “normal” even means. The authors of New York Times Bestseller The Normal Barconducted the largest study of romantic relationships to date, in order to get a sense of what “normal” looks like for happy long-term couples.

The book explains the data gathered from the most extensive survey of romantic relationships ever done. It looked at what “normal” behavior was among happy couples to see what we could learn from them. They surveyed over 70,000 people, many of whom were couples that have been together for decades and still find themselves happy and in love, and reported what their behavior was. (For comparison the previous sexual survey’s were Shere Hite’s who surveyed 4000 and Masters and Johnson’s who surveyed 510 couples.) So this really is the most extensive survey to date by a long shot.

The premise of the book is that this data creates a blueprint for the behaviors to prioritize and implement in your relationship. By adding these behaviors into your relationship you can improve the quality of your relationship and set yourselves up to thrive. In a way it takes away the mystery of what creates a happy relationship and answers to the question of what makes a happy relationship. Then it is up to each of us to prioritize and implement these behaviors and see how it changes our relationship.