And on your left we see……….

Admit it: you, like everybody else, went on a supervised tour of Syracuse University some time in your past. We all remember being herded like cattle around the quad, being told constantly that the steps of Carnegie Library led nowhere as our parents embarrassed us in front of our elder classmates.

Judging by the excess amount of bright orange bags on the Quad yesterday it seems that this week has many prospective students visiting the school. Unfortunately, one these prospective students went missing on a tour that took place yesterday.

According to the Department of Public Safety, which has withheld the student’s name, he was on a tour that left the Admissions Building at approximately 10:47 am. When the tour reached its conclusion at the Schine Student Center an hour and a half later it was discovered that the child had gone missing.

Sources indicate that there is a strong possibility that, on the way up to the Hogwarts-looking building, he made a turn towards the city of Syracuse. It is believed that current students at SU have told the missing student that the city of Syracuse is a “beautiful, majestic, once-in-a-lifetime city.” It was this outrageous comment that sparked the missing student’s curiosity to visit…….downtown Syracuse. The Department of Public Safety fears that more and more current students will be playing this prank on prospective students, by giving them wrong directions on purpose in favor of spurning them away from the University.

“Although me and my family miss our son deeply,” said the mother of the missing child, “we are thrilled that we don’t have to worry about paying tuition any more”.

Centro has announced that changes will be made to its South Campus and Connective Corridor buses after vehicles struck pedestrians on three separate occasions in the past week. A spokesperson for Centro had this to say about the incidents; “We have been criticized in the past for the lack of timely arrival of our buses,... MORE »

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! 1. Cover the room in sand and bring in a new roommate. Tell them they’ve been voted off the island. 2. Set up a live studio... MORE »

On Tuesday, the Syracuse Police Department suffered another huge hit: the Onondaga County District Attorney’s office opened an investigation into whether or not SPD is, in fact, a real police squad. “They’ve been around for hundreds of years, yet not once have I seen anyone arrested or, for that matter, even investigated,” said DA Kurt... MORE »

Mere weeks after Penn State became a nationwide spectacle, another scandal emerged in the world of college athletics, this time involving the Syracuse Orange and their basketball team’s assistant coach Bernie Fine. According to reports, allegations were brought to the Syracuse Police Department as early as 2002 accusing Mr. Fine of molesting two former ball... MORE »

Department of Safety officers at Syracuse University discovered an underground black market for the distribution of popular computer software ““ used primarily in Newhouse ““ after checking on a South Campus apartment Monday afternoon. Two DPS officers conducting a routine apartment check on Small Road were surprised to find over a dozen students sitting... MORE »

In a crazy twist of events this Saturday morning, the football team has begun admitting they’re on the Syracuse University football team. After their hard-earned win against the West Virginia Mountaineers Friday night, pride was at an all time high. “I used to just say I was ‘an athlete’ when people... MORE »

With the news late Monday night that Sophomore Center Fab Melo will forgo his junior year as he declared for the NBA draft Syracuse fans took their excitement to the streets. Fans burned couches, flipped cars, and looted all along Marshall Street as the news spread- all while chanting the 1969 song “Na Na Hey... MORE »

Enjoy having Stir-fry for dinner? Think you can eat it again tomorrow? How about the day after that? And the day after that? How about for a whole week? Junior Peter Shmitt did just that. Living in Ernie Davis Hall he has officially completed the Syracuse Dining Hall Stir-fry challenge by eating nothing but Stir-fry... MORE »

According to weather.com, the forecast for tomorrow includes a high temperature of 62 degrees. Several other weather outlets have been able to confirm this news. As I have learned this information, tears are coming to my eyes. It’s over! The winter is over, the groundhog was wrong. My fellow SU students, we have survived another... MORE »

Picking classes at SU is a skill. Yes, some luck plays a role but ask any upper classman and they’ll tell you that preparation is key. So your friends at Campus Basement have complied a list of the five best classes to take next semester. If you can somehow take all five of these classes... MORE »

Due to the recent success of the Mens Basketball Team there has been a high demand for tickets. Syracuse University is now home to one of the largest on-campus population of scalpers. Before, during, and after every home game the constant murmuring of “tickets, buying, selling, who wants what?” can be heard throughout campus. The... MORE »

Didn’t like how you looked on National TV during the Syracuse-Georgetown game? Want to shed a few pounds to make up for eating that extra serving of Stir-fry? You could work out at Archbold Gymnasium or Goldstein, but who has the time? That is why I have compiled a list of five things you can... MORE »

Right now, all SU students are in that awkward time period between Christmas and New Years Eve. While we are disappointed that Christmas is over we are counting down the days until New Years Eve where we can start working on our first hangover of 2012. But I want to take the time to remind... MORE »

Sometimes it’s nice to help your fellow SU colleague out, to help them in their time of need. So I channeled my inner George Costanza and compiled a list of the three best and worst bathrooms on campus. When compiling this list I took a lot of factors into account, the number of toilets, amount... MORE »

Thanksgiving Break is finally upon us, it is a time for Syracuse students to go home for a week and recover. We all appreciate the opportunity to eat something other than ramen noodles, do laundry for the second time this semester, visit our middle school ex’s, and if we have... MORE »

The term “big man on campus” is thrown around a lot. But nobody exemplifies this persona more than one man. Wheather you know his name or not he has been in your dorm room more than any girl has. He has been in your neighbor’s home, your girlfriends’, your T.A’s,... MORE »

Last week I wrote an article about my personal favorite student organization on campus, the Detective Club. But that was before I heard of HIP>$=SU otherwise known as Syracuse University’s largest hipster organization. You’ve probably never heard of HIP>$=SU because according to one member who denied being a part of any organization “its like really,... MORE »

For seventy-five years the Syracuse Detective Club has solved mysteries throughout the campus. From the famous case of the missing spermicidal to that red blot on a chair in HBC. They have been waiting on hand and foot for any crimes that may occur on campus. Although their existence has... MORE »

Real World Casting: The hit MTV show “The Real World” came to Syracuse to look for future cast members. Unfortunately nobody that auditioned was New Jersey enough for the show. SU Football: We lost to Rutgers at home and play at Tulane. Where is Tulane anyway? Flu Shots: Health Services is giving out flu shots... MORE »

If you ask 100 people what their favorite thing about SU is, you wouldn’t get a hundred different answers, but you will probably get answers ranging from the basketball team, to the Greek life, to the weather (sarcasm). But for me, my favorite thing about our school is our diverse animal wildlife. With an... MORE »