April 5, 2011

A young German girl, Regina Mayer, who wanted a horse and couldn't get one came up with a clever solution to the situation. She saddle broke a cow. Now she and the cow, Luna, are the best of friends. Luna ever jumps hurdles!

April 4, 2011

Here's one description of Cankan: "CanKan is tagged as: the worst thing ever to happen to music, failed at life, shake that ass girl, officially shallow, dark ambient. CanKan is a group that represents some random Turkish guys from Germany that makes Turkish music."

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
April 4, 2011
(datelines March 26-April 2) (links correct as of April 4)

Yardwork Meets American Exceptionalism, Plus the New Gibberish and Push-Up Bras for Adolescents

★ ★ ★ ★!

Life Is Too Long: Formal, organized lawn-mower racing (there's an association and 140 races yearly in 37 states!) is best appreciated if you try to imagine Middle East Muslims on the fence about going Western or going jihad. Hark! Hear the Syrian, the Libyan: "America! Paradise! Some day, God willing, I, too, will race lawn mowers!" (Hard-to-believe reality, said this blogger: Lawn-mower racing is actually boring.) [ed. but that's because the rules require removal of the blades!]Mother Nature Network blog

Get Government's Hands OffHands On My Tasteful Color Scheme! If only Florida's unemployed and minimum-wagers were as well organized, and operatic in their lobbying, as the state's interior designers! The drapes-selection people descended upon the legislature in droves to beg to be free of onerous, employment-stifling regulationcontinue to be heavily regulated in detail (though the Republican legislature appears headed in the opposite direction). (Microeconomics 101 explanation: The fewer the licensed designers, the higher the prices they can charge, i.e., it's a cartel.) But, oh, my, that lobbying! Who knew that unregulated interior design would contribute to "88,000" deaths a year, or that unregulated carpet selection makes people dizzy and nauseous and dries up their salivary glands? St. Petersburg Times

Almost No Longer Weird By Now . . .: Abercrombie & Fitch introduced Smurf-branded dildos for toddlers last week . . no, no, no, not that, but, yes, padded bikini tops designed for girls as young as 8 (the "Ashley Push-Up Triangle"). Child psychologists went nuts, as usual [ed. Child psychologists being "aghast" and "appalled" are merely harbingers of more ridiculous fashions six months out. Recall the full-line, high-end makeup for 8-year-olds recently on sale at Walmart, mentioned in NOTW/Pro, 1-31-2011 ]. Fox News /// Makeup at Walmart

$47 Billion: That's the supposed value of America's "pet market," according to "pet stylist" Dara Foster, 39, who is omnipresent on TV advising owners guardians how to ratchet up their own status and self-esteem by purchasing things for animals. [ed. That's not really how she explains it, but . . ..] The latest in apparel is "a grunge movement in dog fashion," Foster said, and she pointed a reporter toward the dog bathrobes and denim jumpsuits, and the fluorescent styling gel and that synthetic dog mullet wig. New York Times

What's Causing the Recent Descents into Gibberish? London's Daily Mail signals to the paranoids that maybe, just maybe, the U.S. government is running mind-control experiments that have created four recent high-profile public gibberish meltdowns, with the latest being Judge Judy, who had to halt the taping of her show when she started spouting "undecipherable nonsense" (that was apparently a major step down from the usual). (You might recall the recent episodes of TV reporters in Toronto, Los Angeles, and Madison, Wis.) (Bonus: Speaking of which, Minister Farrakhan declared last week that Brother Obama attacked Brother Moammar only because he was overtaken by demons and that a major earthquake is headed to America in retribution.) Daily Mail /// Chicago Tribune

April 3, 2011

April 1, 2011

Newspaper editor and beer blogger J. Wilson has decided to give up food for Lent. All food, in fact, the only thing he has been consuming since Ash Wednesday is Doppelbock beer and water. For those unfamiliar, Lent is the 40 days preceding Easter. Christ was said to have fasted in the desert for that amount of time, so in some religions faithful give up a favored activity or food during the same amount of time. Wilson based his fast on a 300 year old diet a sect of German monks observed during the Lenten season. His health seems to be holding up a lot better than the guy who ate fast food for a month, but he says he is sick of his chosen beer. When Lent is over and he goes out with his buddies, wonder what he will drink. Designated driver perhaps?

disclaimer: Picture was picked at random from yahoo images and has no connection to the beer consumed by Mr. Wilson.

Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.