Friday, August 5, 2011

Not giving up.

CW: 170.0

So I've been sitting at 170 for a couple days and I've decided that I'm not letting it get me down. I've been keeping up the same routine, getting to the gym everyday and I was hoping I would be in the 160's the next time I talked to you guys. But I'm not giving up. I don't care if it takes me a year to lose this weight, it's coming off. There are going to be hard days but I know I can do this. I'm not going to resign myself to a life of being overweight and unhappy. So today I'm going to eat 1000 calories instead of 1200 which will hopefully do the trick.

Last night I went to the mall with my mom and she bought me a new pair of runners which makes going to the gym suck a little less. We also went into a lingerie store and it was such good thinspo. I want to be able to buy a cute little outfit to wear for my boyfriend, and feel completely comfortable and sexy in it. I'm just so much more fun, confident, and happy when I'm thin. I think my boyfriend deserves to have that girl as his girlfriend. I want him to be proud to show me off, and I want to feel like I deserve to be with him. I was 130 when we started dating and I feel guilty for gaining so much weight. This is not what he signed up for, he deserves better than me. I know that he would love me no matter what my weight but I guess what really matters is that I don't love myself, and I feel like I can't fully love him until I do.

I want this to be my year, a fresh start. I want to be a new skinny, confident, and happy me. I want to make friends, and go out and have fun. I want to improve my relationship with my boyfriend and do great in school. I want to prove that we can not only make it on our own but be successful together. I want to come back at Christmas break and have his fat bitch of a mother be jealous of how skinny and young and hot I am. And the only way I'm going to make that happen is by NOT GIVING UP. Don't give up. Get your ass of the couch and go to the gym. Face the scale, count your calories and do what you've always wanted to do. Show the world who you really are.

6 comments:

You can do it hun! Just remember on those days where you feel you have no energy for the gym that once you get there you will feel so much better afterwards. I've had a cold the last 2 weeks but a workout at the gym really clears you out! Jealous of the new running shoes, I have to wait until Xmas for mine, the joys of studenthood :) xx

I'm so excited for you to break the 170's! I even looked for the picture that I took last year when I hit 169.8 to motivate you! too bad I'm above that now lol But I can't find it :( I did however fine the 159.8 one so I'll def me showing oyu it when you hit 160!!! You got this girly :)