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Tuesday, 14 August 2007

moods

After speaking with Him on im earlier this evening, which is not something we have much of an opportunity to do, i realised i tend to act accordingly to how He is feeling or more to how and what He is saying. I sensed this evening He was in what i refer to as His "Domly" moods not that i am by any means implying that He is not always dominant, more that sometimes it is expressed in such a way there is no mistaking that at these times He is not in the mood for any nonsense. I find that at these times i tend to go relatively quiet and wait for Him to speak simply because there is less risk of me saying the wrong thing and i think more about how i phrase my replies.

I will admit i have taken to labelling His moods and they tend to fall into 4 categories: talkative, affectionate, domly and cruel and sometimes they intertwine with another and i love all his moods for different reasons although i have yet to experience Him being really cruel as of yet so i may well change my mind about that. I think sometimes its hard for people to understand how someone can be affectionate but then also be very cruel to the same person and i cant speak for Him so i can only say how i see it from my perspective.

I know that no matter how cruel He may be to me at times (and i know full well that what i have experienced so far is not as cruel as He can and will be) and as difficult as it may be for me at these times i accept that this is the sadist in Him and it is only one element of His personality, so it makes it all the more special when He is affectionate because i need one as much as i need the other.