I will haunt you

Summary:I didn’t mean to kill myself. I honestly didn’t. Was my jump intentional? I don’t know. Was my jump recreational? I don’t know. I remember that I hardly thought at all. Bella's jump off that cliff was a bit more fatal than she had thought it would be. Now she is a ghost, and no one can see her. Will Bella save Edward from the Volturi? More importantly can she? And what will happen to her afterwards? Chapter 12, last chapter is up!Alternate ending is up!

Notes:

13. Chapter 13: Alternate ending

Alice licked a drop of blood that had found its way on her arm during the hunt. Usually she was much more careful about not getting blood on herself, but today she was in a hurry. She had the oddest feeling, like a premonition without a vision, that something was wrong with Edward. He had insisted on staying behind while everyone else went out hunting, which was understandable because he was sinking back into his depressed state in which he wanted to be alone. They had decided to give Edward some time alone; but now looking back on that, it seemed like a bad idea.

Alice walked silently down the dark hallway that leads to Edward’s room. Her quick, lithe steps contrasted ludicrously with the dreary mood of the unlit hallway.

The fact that the lights were off was significant to Alice, as it was an unspoken and unwritten rule in the Cullen house that the lights remain on at all times. As if they could make sunshine in their eternity of darkness with open windows and flipped light switches. Edward and Rosalie especially took to this rule, as they both wanted humanity and normalcy intensely.

Alas, the lights were off; which bode ill to Alice.

She walked through the darkness a little longer then stopped abruptly in front of Edward’s door, her hand hesitantly hovering over the door knob. Her face screwed up in worry. Something felt wrong.

As if called by the foreboding, a vision overcame Alice. Her hand convulsed and clutched the doorknob as the original darkness turned to a swirl of colors and blurry images.

As the vision cleared and turned sharper, the image of Edward appeared. His back was to Alice, partly covered in shadow. He reached towards a door. The door was heavy and thick, but light shone through the cracks.

His hand slowly approached the handle, until it rested gently in top of it. He stood completely still and sucked in a huge breath, and then he jerked the door open.

Blinding light poured out of the door like the breaking of a dam, and a scream tore from Alice’s lips as she threw her arms out in front of herself in a shielding gesture.

Then, as quickly as it came, it ended. The door shut effortlessly, and Edward and the light were gone.

Alice’s vision shifted slightly and tunneled to a different scene. It blurred and then rested on a carefully folded note sitting on a desk.

Immediately and suddenly, the vision released its hold on her and ended.

Alice came to with a gasp. Her hand still clutched the doorknob to Edward’s room. With eyes wide with confusion and dread, she pushed open Edward’s door and stepped inside.

Edward’s room was pitch-black like the hallway; Alice ran her hand up and down the wall searching for the light switch.

Finally she found the switch and flicked it. Nothing happened. She flipped it a few more times and stopped; the darkness didn’t bother her that much. She was used to it.

She continued to walk swiftly towards the center of his room, drawn by fear and dread. All she could hear was her steps swishing lightly on the carpet; never had things seemed so quiet. Suddenly she heard a crunch underneath her feet. Her eyes widened even further and crouched down, running her hand searchingly over the floor. Her hand hit a sharp object, and she picked it up.

In her hand lay a smooth round shape that was broken in on one side. She felt the metal tip of it and realized what it was, a light bulb.

She could practically see Edward as if she were there when it happened. She could see him in a frenzy, ripping out all of the light bulbs from the lamps and ceiling, to shroud him in darkness like he thought he deserved.

She dropped the light bulb and stood up with a new sense of purpose. She could see a shaft of light that peaked through the blinds of the window, and beamed to a white square object on Edward’s desk.

She knew what it was before she got there, but she picked it up nonetheless. It was the note she had seen in her vision.

Her stomach felt sick with dread as she unfolded the paper with hesitant fingers. She scanned her eyes quickly over the letter before taking time to read each individual word, and then squeezed her eyes shut.

Sadly she opened them again, and read all the way through the letter.

Dear Family,

I liked to think off “what ifs” when I met Bella; and I thought of “what if’s” after she left. What if I was never turned into a vampire? Well then I never would have gotten to meet Bella, because I would have died in 1918. Therefore I think I should feel satisfied that I knew her at all. In fact, I do.

But fate has a way to be cruel, it seems. To meet your true love, someone you love more intensely than anything in the world combined, and then to lose her; THAT is what is so unfair.

What I began to think when I got home was what if I hadn’t tried to bite her and turn her into a vampire…what would have happened? Would she have stayed a ghost, in which case I’d still technically be able to see her? Or would she have moved on anyway? I’m stuck between that feeling of self-loathing for my selfishness and sadness that I would never have eternity with her.

Because in the end, I just couldn’t let her go like I told myself I would. I told myself that I would help her find what kept her here as a ghost, and free her. But when the time came, I couldn’t. I was too weak and bit her, and this is unforgivable.

So I’ve decided to go on with my plan to visit the Volturi. Please don’t try to stop me, because by the time you get this I will most likely have left and may even be in Volterra.

I will find out whether I have a soul, and I hope to join Bella in Heaven.

So I hope you’re right, Dad.

But it wouldn’t matter anyway, because I wouldn’t be able to live without her. This is the only way.

See you Judgment Day.

Love,

Edward

Alice finished reading the note and sobbed tearlessly. She stood there for a few minutes with the realization that she may never see Edward again, and that their family would never be the same. This would kill Esme for sure, Alice knew.

She lifted her head when she heard the front door open and close. Rapid steps followed up the stairs to the hallway, and Jasper burst into the room.

Alice threw herself into his arms and sobbed, and he held her tight as he rubbed her back soothingly.

“What’s wrong? You left early, and I could feel your sadness…” He looked around the room. “Why are all the lights off? Where’s Edward?”

Alice pulled away and just shook her head. Jasper’s face turned grim as she held out the letter.

He pulled it gently from her hands and looked at it. His eyes widened as he read it, but he shook his head in a way that suggested he knew this kind of thing would happen all along. He added his own distress and sadness along with Alice’s, which affected the rest of the Cullen’s who were at the front door.

Using Jasper’s distress as a beacon, they quickly ran up through the stairs and the dark hallway into Edward’s room. There they saw Alice, Jasper, and the note.

At that moment they knew what happened, but read the note nonetheless.

All of their faces were downcast and guilty. Esme broke out in sobs, for they all knew that them leaving Edward alone had given him the chance to leave.

Carlisle pulled Esme into a tight hug, but not much of a comfort because he himself was overpoweringly sad.

“My son!” Esme cried, and Emmett and Rosalie looked down. Emmett wrapped an arm around Rosalie’s shoulders, and she turned into him sadly.

This moment, they all knew, would define the rest of their lives. They would never be the same.

Alice’s head shot up from Jasper’s shoulder as she remembered the other part of her vision. The door. The door with light on the other side. Could that possibly be…?

She dared to hope that that door represented the door to heaven, and that Edward made it. That he and Bella would be together for eternity.

But it was the strangest feeling, like Edward’s memory would haunt her family for the rest of their life. They would never be the same without Edward, and they would remember him everyday.