Okay, okay. We get it. Being a parent of a teenager must
really suck. Warning received.Rarely,
however, do we hear similar warnings about the almost-as-challenging tween
years.Yet, this is often when the trouble
begins.

For those who don’t know, the tween years technically occur
between the ages of 10 and 12. But observable tween traits don’t usually kick in right
when a child turns double digits. It takes a bit of time. Then, before long,
you’re in full-fledged tweendom.You
quickly learn that the tweens aren’t as much about an age as an attitude -- often, a
bad attitude.

Knowing your child has entered the tween stage of
“development” can help with the adjustment. So, here are a few signs that your
once loving, pleasant and occasionally-obedient child has become a tween:

1). They Choose
Solitude Over Family Time: The first sign your child has become a tween presents
itself in the simplest way -- you don’t see them as much. You know they’re in
the house somewhere. You saw them get off the bus, and their shoes and bag are
strewn about the mudroom.

The tween's habitat of choice: their bedroom.(Of course, I edited this in Instagram to give it a more tween-friendly, yet foreboding, vibe.

A few months prior, they would have been sitting at the
kitchen table gabbing about their day, or doing homework, or playing in the
yard outside. But no more. Now their favorite thing to do is to sit alone in
their room, maybe reading a book, listening to music, or – God forbid – playing
on some sort of electronic device you broke down and bought them so they’d fit
in with their tween peer group.

Apparently, tagging another tween’s family photos on Instagram holds more intrigue than actually hanging out with their own family.

2). They Suffer from
Uncontrollable Eye Rolls: Not long ago, that goofy pun-filled joke dad
always tells would have been greeted with a smile, and maybe a shake of the
head. Now, your child rolls their eyes and then retreats to their room again.

The same thing happens when you suggest partaking in family
tradition, like apple picking or playing a favorite board game. The constant
eye rolling and accompanying “ugh” sounds come with such frequency they can
appear involuntary. If anyone figures out how to control these, message me, or
text me, or tag me in a post. Heck, you can even send smoke signals. (Eye roll)

3). They Begin
Speaking Tween:There was a brief
time between when they learned to talk and the tween years that you understood
every beautiful word your child said – and even the not so beautiful ones.

Then, suddenly, you notice they start saying things like
“totes magotes” instead of “totally,” or they replace the word “crazy” with
“cray cray,” or they begin to verbalize any form of textese, like OMG. If any
of these things happen, well then, IMHO, they may have already crossed into the
abyss that is the tween years.

You may also notice that tween boys start talking about
girls, and tween girls begin talking about boys. (Parental eye roll and guttural “ugh” sound).

4). They Become
Remarkably Easy to Embarrass: Before entering the tween phase, most kids didn’t
have a clue when to be embarrassed. Like the time they made toot noises with
their mouth in a public place, just to make their siblings laugh. Or the time
they had a screaming fit at the grocery store because you wouldn’t buy them the
Beanie Boo the store cruelly put on the end cap of the cereal aisle. Not
embarrassed by that at all.

Then, suddenly, your child develops an acute sense of
embarrassment.And, as it turns out, the
most embarrassing thing in the world is actually you. It’s true. Nothing
embarrasses a tween more than being seen in public with their parents.

Consider drop-off and pick-up (to or from any kid event,
really). They used to bounce over to your car, hop in, and then sing along as
you played the radio leaving the parking lot.

Now, they slunk to your vehicle, addressing you with the warmth
of a passenger getting on the city bus.And if you so much as roll a window down with the radio playing before
you’re out of earshot of the other tweens,they will hate you forever. That’s a quote.

Don't you miss the whacky, poorly-planned, haphazard outfits of the pre-tween years, with a healthy mix of patterns and colors? Oh, youth.

5). They’re Newly Obsessed
With their Looks: Just a few years ago, they were more likely to dress like Punky Brewster -- in a colorful, mismatched outfit that inaccurately reflected your family’s
general sense of fashion. Now, they wear only carefully selected clothes
that portray the exact image they hope to put out there, right down to socks.
If you dare advise them what to wear, you get the eye roll.

And then there’s the hair. Remember the wild, unkempt pre-tween
hair?If not for a parent routinely
instructing the boys and girls to grab a comb or brush before leaving the
house, they simply wouldn’t ever touch it. No more. Now, they can fuss with
their hair for hours before getting it just right. And if they do get it right,
they might just take a selfie and post it to Instagram.

***

So there you go.If
you notice your child exhibiting any or all of these characteristics, there’s a
chance they’ve become a tweener right before your eyes – or more likely, while up
in their bedroom.

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About Me

I'm a writer, a husband and a father of four. I once worked in news in Washington, D.C., and served as a speechwriter for a spell. Now I work in upstate New York, teach and help raise our kids. This is where I write about it.