"Alright, Jim. You asked me what device is used for a Colonoscopy, remember? Well ... here it is! It's not fully-extended, of course. It'll do that, once it's inserted. But don't worry, we'll use plenty of lube. So, let's get this over with, then. Drop your pants and bend over ..."

Captain Kirk: "Have you considered a name for this new world yet, Spock?"

Mr. Spock: "Yes sir. Considering the atmospheric composition, the odor of the surrounding environment, and the fact I have a huge case of the 'munchies'; I believe a suitable designation for this planet would be, 'Cannabis 4-20.' "

"Hello strange visitors, this is Vaal, speaking. My "children" use latrines, to do their business. Urinating outdoors is very unsanitary and against our customs. What if someone wanted to sit by that tree and gaze up at the clouds - only to end up sitting in your foul reek?! You know who you are ... That's right: I saw you!"