RUSS DUERSTINE: Memorial Day is bittersweet for some

SAN ANGELO, Texas - Memorial Day weekend is bittersweet for many, and that's true for me as well.

Long before I was old enough to understand what the holiday was about, it marked tragedy for me from a young age.

This weekend in 1967 I was a passenger in a car wreck that claimed my mother and younger sister. My mother's last acts were to look out for my safety instead of her own survival.

As I tried to crawl out of the car to reach where she had been thrown, her concern was not that I go get help for her. Mortally wounded, she demanded I stay in the car until help arrived.

My sister was gone, and my safety was more important to her than her own life.

My father later remarried and most people assumed she was my natural mother, and I honored her as she passed two years ago.

I rarely speak publicly of my mother, Opal Joan (Maynard) Duerstine, but this year I feel a need to share her life with readers.

As flawed a person as I am, I owe much to her for any goodness I started out with. By all accounts she always looked out for others way beyond her own needs.

She loved her family dearly and showed kindness with the same great intensity for us, as she did strangers.

For many years after her death, complete strangers would track me down through my mother's extended family just to express their thanks for my mother's impact on their life.

One incident in particular stands out in my mind above all others. One relative, who was famous for being as self-centered as they come, called me from his deathbed.

He told me that he had lived a life of debauchery all his life and treated people like dirt. He then related his conversion to Christ to me.

Lastly, he wanted me to know how he treated my mother worse than most, and she always returned kindness for evil and showed him nothing but love, and as he accepted Christ he could not help but think of her.

I can remember her love for me directly, but this memorial did my heart more good than I can put into words.

Love and respect from her life and for her life shapes me to this day. I hope I can convey that kind of spirit to you as we honor those who serve us.

Traditionally this weekend we rightly remember and honor our military members, past and present, for their sacrifices in serving our country and upholding their pledge to protect and defend our Constitution.

Memorial Day is set aside especially to memorialize those who made the ultimate sacrifice in laying down their lives in the line of duty.

Those of us who served appreciate the gratitude showed to us by our fellow citizens anytime, but this weekend we are humbled by those who gave up everything and we can't help but stop and pay them special tribute.

I think it is great that this tradition has grown to remember first responders and brave citizens who have risked everything in selfless acts of courage to defend, rescue and protect others.

Those who have lost husbands and wives, parents and children and friends and family deserve our thanks and support as well. This day can be both tearful and sweet as we honor their loved ones.

How fitting that this year's Memorial Day will be celebrated the same month our special military forces killed 9/11 mastermind Osama bin Laden. I know that many families that lost loved ones that day will rest easier now.

Though we may be divided about how to combat radical Islamic Jihad and the countries that aid them, we have been pretty united in seeking justice for al-Qaida and its leaders.

Regardless of the political benefit or deterrent, I think it is important to give President Obama credit for doing the right thing in following through with the military intelligence that gave us the opportunity to eliminate bin Laden.

After some time has passed we can debate the issue of why it is supposedly immoral to waterboard a terrorist leader to obtain information vital to defend innocent lives from future danger, but it is perfectly OK to shoot them in the head and kill them for the same purpose.

Regardless, we thank those who sacrificed for many years to make this happen under both President Bush and under now President Obama's watch.

We remember and honor all those who served from the Revolutionary War through World War I and now are dead.

Also know that we as Americans appreciate our veterans who served in World War II, Korea, Vietnam, both Gulf Wars, and through peaceful times as well.