Wednesday, March 16, 2005

I Should Acharya a Lot for This

File under: Gurus Clockin' Dollars

Spiritual Guru Acharya Ved Prakash has developed a theory that could potentially save humanity. The new theory, "Guided Fortune," is explained on his new CD. According to the Professor, his method will "rid one of...allergies, phobias, depressions, tension, insomnia, impotency, addictions, stuttering, stammering," along with helping one to "secure a good percentage in examinations, pass through interviews, loose-gain weight, get over insecurities, phobias, overcome personality disorders or psychological hurdles."

Wow, this guy could put psychiatry out of business and help the impoverished masses find economic well-being! With everyone so happy, there will be no reason for any more killing. Truly, the New Age™ would be upon us! And all this for a mere $30 dollars!

Why isn't he charging thousands or more for this thing? To be cured of almost all which ails has got to be worth at least that. We think we'll tip off a couple big pharmaceutical companies and the American Psychiatric Association about this. We believe we might make a pretty penny bringing their attention to this threat against their livelihood.

1 Comments:

This Acharya guy should do a spell-check on his sales pitch first. Its 'lose' weight, not 'loose 'weight. Secondly, being an Indian I am myself critical of these so-called gurus who predate on people's weaknesses and ignorance to be in the business. It is easy to fool people, specially those who come from the West looking for spiritual enlighment in the esoteric Hindu culture. By that I don't mean to degrade my culture or the seekers, but Hinduism is a vast culture of thought and beliefs that none of the modern day intellectually dishonest so-called celebrity gurus, will ever be able to do justice to , because they are an antithesis of what gurus really are and should be. In that sense you seem to be doing a great service by deconstructing the guru image of these glib tongued quacks that is so falsely persvasive. Keep it up.

.... An appropriate name for your blog could have been Neti Neti.— Rama

While we understand that gurus are held sacred by many, they
are also public figures deserving of scrutiny. Our primary aim
is to inject a little humor into what can be an excessively
self-righteous enterprise, and to illustrate the primary truth that
no matter how divine their devotees believe them to be, gurus
poop on the same pot we do.