Thursday, February 17, 2011

Britney Spears Hightails It to Hidden Hills

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: All the real estate gossips have been abuzz the last couple of days with rumors and reports that pop star Britney Spears is fixin' to pack up her kids and her unfortunate collection of Daisy Dukes and move to a massive mansion in the guard-gated and celebrity-friendly equestrian community of Hidden Hills in the far western suburbs of Los Angeles, CA.

Your Mama, ever the skeptic, checked with friend and informant Lucy Spillerguts who confirmed that Miss Spears and her posse will indeed decamp her rented mansion in a swank gated community in Calabasas, CA and set up house on a 3.39-acre village-like estate that includes a 19,107 square foot multi-winged manse and a mini-mall-sized entertainment complex with arcade, wood-paneled ballroom, a kitchen-sized wet bar, fitness center, poker playing room, guest quarters and a couple of staff apartments. Altogether, according to listing information, the compound has 10 bedrooms and 13 bathrooms, an unlucky number that would keep a superstitious housegal like our devoted but autocratic Svetlana from even stepping a single foot on the property.

The lavishly landscaped grounds include a paddling-pond with small dock, sunken tennis court surrounded by a stone balustrade, vast swathes of well-watered lawn, free-form swimming pool with grotto where the spa is situated.

The palatial property was previously on the market with an asking price as high as $18,900,000 and as low as $12,900,000. However, after kibbutzing with a few cohorts we're satisfied that Miss Spears actually leased the property, as was reported in the Wall Street Journal. We haven't a clue what she's actually paying each month, but the huge house was most recently listed at $25,000 per month.

The horsey Hidden Hills community is home to a slew of celebs who include Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Melissa Etheridge and the heartburn inducing Kardashian/Jenner clan. Until recently rock and roll princess Lisa Marie Presley owned and occupied a two-parcel compound in the upscale enclave.

The seller of Miss Spears new Tudor-style compound is construction mogul/private equity pasha Ron Tutor who joined a consortium of investors who include Rob Lowe who recently acquired Miramax Films from the Walt Disney Company in am astonishing $660,000,000 deal. Mister Tutor is well known among Los Angeles real estate followers and in September of 2008 the business baron made headlines when he dropped a heart-stopping $32,200,000 to purchase a not yet completed 27,000 square foot mega-mansion with 18 poopers in the unashamedly ostentatious guard-gated Beverly Park community tucked into the mountains high above Beverly Hills.

MazelTov on your new mansion Miss Spears. Now if you could only get rid of that mansion in the Beverly Hills Post Office. Although she hasn't occupied the property for quite some time, records show that Miss Spears still owns a faux-Tuscan mansion in the gated Summit community in the Beverly Hills Post Office area. This was the scene of much of her crazy back in 2006 and '07. Miss Spears has had the house on and off the market more times than Your Mama can count with a variety of prices, some of which represented a multi-million dollar loss.

40 comments:

Nothing could be any worse than that poorly executed oval ceiling painting. I just have to stand aside and wait to see what a certain diminutive but enlightened New York homosexual has to say about this. I am going to go start the Jiffy Pop and hope his comment shows up soon.

Between Britney's terminal case of real estate fickle, and still not having sold her previous home yet, I'd be surprised if her conservator father agreed to let her to buy this place too, but what do I know.

I looked at Miss Spears' bio on Wikipedia, and if I read it right, I do believe she never finished high school. So what is this nonsense about education being the road to riches in the USA? What nonsensical claptrap.

GOOD LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That place is HORRID!!!!!! Looks like something Michael Jackson would have owned. Poor Hidden Hills. Such a lovely place. You know that I was born and raised in the Valley and never knew about Hidden Hills? YUP. I was in my late twenties when I ended up working as an assistant to a very nice but very B-List actor and they lived there. It really is so beautiful.

Love your blog. Have been a reader for years. Perhaps look at the WSJ Private Properties column. I believe that this property has been leased and the leasing agent is in fact Ron Tudor's daughter. Of course who knows what the real story is, but I'm pretty sure that I read that last week.

SHE IS NUT IF SHE BUYS THIS HOUSE! Yes I'm screaming! This is why these idiots always go broke! At least split the fuck cost...cant she find an awesome palce for 9million??? Does she HAVE to live in a place the size of a small Indian Reservation casino? WHO IS THIS CHICKS' BUSINESS MANAGER?

Who knew such a case of realestatelephantiasis wouldn't be fatal? As God is my witness, I will never, never, NEVER, EVER understand that peculiar penchant for building right out to each & every property line just because you can...why, why, WHY?

All that overfed, under-read, spend-too-much 'cause-you-can vulgarity stuffed up under one roof; and just when you think it's packed to the rafters, straining to bursting like a constipated Devine on an Ex-Lax jag, with not a cubic inch left, who shows up but that hag with her unfortunate spawn, I mean offspring in tow.

Talk about 5 pounds of shit in a 2 pound bag...so much for brevity being the soul of wit. Oh, and Snowman, honey, your popcorn's burning.

Actually, if you look at the home Michael Jackson made-over into Neverland, it was actually rather tasteful and well-proportioned... once you deducted all his crazy knick-knacks, gew-gaws and blic-a-blac.

Here's a look at its ambience shortly after it was built by developer Bill Bone, who later sold it to MJ:

What better place than this for Mizz Spears to whip up a batch of her signature Cheetos casserole, acompanied by a delightful '79 Lafite Venti Mocha Frappe, for her DNA/chromosomally challenged spawn? At least she no longer has to lay in bed at night wondering if the parking break of her mobile home is set.

My gosh....Some of you need to get off your high horses and give this young woman a break. No, she isn't "educated" and sure she has made mistakes and had problems, but she also has straighten out her life, works very hard, and is very rich. All that matters is SHE LIKES the house, and she can indeed pay for the house. The home is lovely and should afford her some privacy to raise her two sons.

It's a little like the Clue house.. I wish Brit would get a really super nice house, everytime I see pics of her houses they always seem a little drab. She needs her big Britney Spears house, she should spend some cash she's good for it. Maybe she'll redo this one but the interior shots are old and delapatated.