Faster than light, some haunting, some fleeting, some sweet, and some filled with sorrow, THOUGHTS are what make or break us. In search of my true self, a journal that deals with day-to-day things that leave their mark on me.. RACING THOUGHTS, my spoken and unspoken reflections!!
A full-time mom with mostly rusted professional skills, enjoying the blessing called lazy motherhood in United States. Whatever I am.. I AM LIKE THATTT ONLY!! నా ఇష్టం, నాకిష్టం.

Musically Sush

Foreword

There is neither a structure nor a texture to this blog. The subject matter can be anything and everything under the sky that I feel about at any given point that I happen to sit and blog rambling about everything in general. My thoughts and views are basically influenced by what I read, hear, gather, and ponder... if there is any copyright violation which I have not duly acknowledged, kindly let me know.

My world comprises of LO the little one, OA the other adult at home, kiddo the brother :)

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Dec 31, 2009

This past year has been an year of so many challenges and changes both in my personal as well as social life.

Do I want this kind of an year ever again in life.. NO... but still, it is a year which will hold the key role in a lot of my future decisions.

Did time fly by...well, for the initial 4 months it was like "when would this end" and the later 8 months was like when did this begin.

Personally, 2010 is...A year which made me go very near to the death and come back to life with new vigor and a very strong resolution to give people tit for tat immediately then and there and not let them involve/interfere/dictate/rule/LIVE my life for me, more so with my daughter in it....A year in which MY FAMILY or so-called showed its true colors and the one in which the long-lost bro and sis relationship emerged really really strong (touch wood)....A year in which a new life which began within me came to life outside and is growing rapidly (touch wood)....A year in which I got to know the true/naked faces of a lot of people eliminating the true friends from the fake and superficial ones....A year which made me realize the true potential in me and the extent of good/bad/evil that I can take....A year in which my health went from bad to worse to worst and is now in the path of recuperation (hopefully).

ALL IN ALL... a year which is a decisive and most critical one in the life for me and my daughter.

Professionally,... restarting the career after a long break and a turbulent one at that is really really tough....took some initiative to get back to the job, after a lot of ifs and buts, yes's and no's, whys and why nots I am getting there finally.. all the hard work that I put in to be there and everything that went into giving it up is absolutely nothing when compared to get it back on track.

Socially,I always believed in the fact that friends are the saviors.. we dont get to chose where we are going to be born and all but the ones that we handpick are the ones who give a meaning to your life and they have proven it right at each and every step in these turbulent times, cheering me up when down, guiding me when wrong, lending a shoulder to cry on, being there at every single step to check on me and my daughter and ensuring we did well.. Thanks guys, it did mean a lot..

Politically,A year full of downs and downs and downs, began badly, turned worse, and ended up worst. I personally feel the same is the case with media coverage as well... If the world is in bad shape economically and even in other ways, India is in worse, and AP the worst of it all.. I feel like collecting all the politicians at one place and deporting them to Pluto, so that the common man is happy.. you may ask why Pluto because it is the farthest known planet or semi-planet whatever.

Summing it up, it is a year best forgotten in someways, a best teacher in many ways, a hope-giver in a lot of ways and the best of it all, it gave me my daughter, my lifeline.. the worst, it ruined my health both physical and emotional.

This past December has been a month of sickness for both me and LO.. the last day of the year was the worst in those terms with her burning hot with fever above 101, red hot cheeks, red lips and the kid who hardly ever let a moan or cry, wailed throughout the night. It is sickening to see the kids sick, feel like putting her back in to the belly and going through it all and put her back after she is fit again :(... but anyways....

I welcomed this new year with her in my hands, playing although a little toned down, with cracked throat and all but a beaming smile on the face.. So, here I enter the New Year.. 2010, Twenty-Ten, giving farewell to 2009 and hoping to bade a farewell to LO's sickness forever and wishing and praying for a healthy and happy New Year which spreads cheer among everyone in the world.

I wish everyone, all the species, and every living organism (of course not the bacteria and virus)a veryHealthyHappyPeacefulContentHAPPY NEW YEAR...

No, I dont have any resolutions other than BEING HEALTHY AND CALM, STAYING FIT.

Yes, I have lots of hopes to settle down and have some stability in life... building it from scratch is a bit tough but with a smile to die for and life to live for, it is all the more challenging, yet more beautiful.

Thank you God for everything...

and I end it with my childhood prayer for myself...God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.

N.D. Tiwari, the honorable governor, the first citizen of the state, allegedly involved in some heinous acts, and a news channel supposedly got the information more than a month ago, got the proofs about 4 days ago, but after a lot of discussion decided to air only yesterday, the only day when Bandh was called off and the city was taking a breather. uhhu..uhhhu... I dont like it!!!!

I dont support that guy, well he is an octogenarian and I dont outright deny anything because perversion comes in many forms but still the way it was aired... everything right down from the anchor's voice-over to the background song to the content was downright dirty, nasty, vulgar and in cheap taste... and the worst part was shameless self-propaganda.. "prapamcha vyaaptamga prasamsala velluva" my foot!!! and the callers, the sms texts read, the people in the studio, the ones the channel caught on the road, everything is outright cheap publicity and nothing else. Congrats ABN, sensation in e-news media, dammunna channel, Vemuri Radhakrishna garu great... chevulu chillulu padutunnay sontadabba vinaleka

As per the channel, the news was leaked to them by a lady called Radhika, a very close aide to N.D. Tiwari for whom Raj Bhavan was a guest house whenever she was in the city and in fact, she was the one who got the ladies the job there in the first place in exchange of some some favors. She wanted some mine license or whatsoever but when that did not materialize she exposed it all.. great!! what a legible source and what credible information.

I am a woman myself, I have a daughter, I am pro-women progress and all that but I am not into out and out feminist approach. I would be among the first ones to do something constructive to empower the oppressed woman rather than give talk and lectures. I find the content as well the act completely shocking, but more than what NDT has done, it is the channel that is stripping them naked.

Yes...
they have been tortured
they have been used
they are innocent
he is a brute
he cannot be forgiven
he should be taught a lesson

I agree with each and everything but is that the means.

Women going berserk seeing it all, shouting at the top of their voices, crying foul is not at all acceptable.. there was some leader giving an eloquent speech as to what needs to be done and what she knew about such things but why is it conveniently forgotten that it is the woman in the first place who sent the girls, she might be denying now but knowing the reputation and being that close to that guy, how could she do that to the fellow-women and why the hell is she bothered to expose it now.. because she fears threat for her life... phony.. very very phony!!!

A news channel especially has no viewership restrictions, that is, it is supposedly to be viewed with the whole family, forget whole family, I just could not watch those visuals with my mom in the room.. what the hell is going on in the name of exposing the truth!!!

Great, as a society-conscious, duty-driven channel ABN has telecast it, thanks to that people have realized what was actually happening in the Raj Bhavan and finally they succeeded in getting him out of the post and there were demonstrations and all everywhere seeking an explanation for what went wrong. But why is the channel still continuing with those Z-grade clippings time and again in spite of orders from the high court.

In one corner I still doubt the credibility of the news aired and I am also kind of finding it strange that no one else but the said "Dammunna channel" exposing the news is bothered to report it. Okay, they unearthed the big issue but there has to be a mention some where, some place, otherwise publicity hungry channels have interestingly kept away from it. Not even mentioned in the passing. I get Eenadu newspaper, no I am not pro-kamma, pro-TDP, or Pro-anything.. it is just out of habit than anything else, and it is strange that there is not even a mention anywhere. If the news is true, it should be published giving due credit to the source, if it is not, then they should show proofs against it but totally ignoring it!!!! Something fishy!! I cant point my finger on it because I am a novice, I am a layman, all I can do is go by instincts and I just dont feel it is right.

and coming to the said channel, it is a new channel, it wants to get set and get noticed amongst the big fishes in the market and get all the attention, so collect something really sensational.. yes, they got it. I am pretty sure there are many many more people involved in this but why single NDT, because he is an outsider in the state, old man who cant retaliate and cause any damage to them in the future!!!

Exposing truth is always welcome and we ABSOLUTELY need to know what is going on.. but surely not this way!!! and surely not with any personal motives whatsoever...

In a nutshell, I just dont find it normal!!!! does anyone feel the same or is it just an isolated me...

and by the way... Haritha Andhrapradesh, samaikhya Andhra Pradesh, Suwarna Andhra Pradesh... good to hear, but seem to be things of past.. it is just Bhaya-Andhra Pradesh these days and looks like for many many days to come!!!

Dec 25, 2009

I am kind of scared and wary of media propaganda these days.. Gone are the days, when I used to rely on newspapers to know what I did not know, watch TV news to gather what has happened in the day, a half-hour news bulletin in Telugu, English, and Hindi. The anchors were not too glamorous, remember Shanti Swaroop, Salma Sultaana and others.. it was beauty of their pronunciation rather than the bodily beauty. The primary focus was to bring the viewers the events of the day in half an hour, so put in as much vital information as possible which affects their day-to-day life or by and large the political life and then there were special news bulletins when time permitted. Newspapers were just what they were meant to be, papers which shared news with the readers and made them aware of the surroundings. They were, I thought, not as sold-out as they are now.

Any paper I open also has a channel, they support a party, a community, or a region for their own benefit, no two papers report the incident the same way it has actually happened. Like someone dies... each paper/channel adds masala for its convenience and bring it out rather than straight reporting. Where are the good days of reporting and valid and good reporting gone. Now, reports throw shoes at speakers, they are a cult, they kind of manipulate everything to suit their needs.

My first hatred and awareness about media being ruthless and news hungry came with one incident which I recollect very clearly, in 1997, a blast occurred during a shooting near Ramanaidu studios targeted on Paritala Ravi in which even TV crew were killed because of the impact.. It was 12 yrs. ago, but I clearly remember a victim crying out aloud for water and the reporter kept asking him questions instead of providing water.. there was blood, there were body parts strewn all over, there was flesh, there were cries, on top of it all.. there was need for HELP.. but the reporters chose to give coverage to increase the TRPs rather than helping them out.. that day, something died in my young mind.. the trust that news are to make us aware of what is happening and something started creeping in for them there is no need to CREATE news to market themselves.

Then came the Moddu Seenu interview, a private news channel caught this criminal on escape mode and made him a hero.. why the police did not register a case on the channel is still a mystery to me.. then the Veerappan interviews with Papers, TV channels, did not help the situation either.

Then came blows one after the other but the most significant was the 26/11 attack and the media coverage on it. Even topmost and credible journos like Barkha Dutt have seem to lost it and the mad frenzy to capture the event and ignoring the actual news and common made me grow more averse to the media.

Coming to the local media, TV-9, or the advent of TV 9 has made it worse, they take one issue and repeat it again and again and again unnecessarily... issue of Swapnika around the same time last year and the media behavior when she succumbed to the acid attack and also the number of "premonmaadi" stories they show, the programs neralu-ghoralu, crime watch, this and that and what not, everything screams of dirty poisoning of minds and a shameless war at TRP ratings rather than public good. To be honest, I liked its motto when they began, like they would expose the evil and against corruption and all that... but time and again, I have been hearing things that even made sense with small fish being exposed and how come never a big fish got caught... there was some incidents which made my head reel and shake in disbelief in which I was made to believe that they do catch the corruption on camera, but do they actually show that to public.. NO, I dont think so.. because like most of the people keep saying they show it to the parties involved first and settle some deal and then decide whether or not to go about airing it.. and I am gradually coming to believe the same because nothing serious ever is unearthed, the exclusive features they show are disgusting like the visuals on YS's death scene and all that and gory details of murder/accident sites and all that.

Media in AP has lost its meaning and I am not really sure about other parts of the nation. Papers have an individual agenda, to top it each leading newspaper has a channel to vouch for its news. So, if I care to get a real picture I guess I just need to go down to that place and figure out what is happening rather than relying on the media to feed me up with the data.. seriously, it is that bad!!!!!

Why is senseless talk of a politician shown a hundred times over and why is a politician like JP just heard once in a while.. why are his views not publicized giving us an impression he does not respond at all.. that is because for a news to be printed/shown there has to be a packet and the more the weight of the packet the more is the coverage.. is it so??? or is it because honesty and truth do not make TRP material, they do not sell the news as does the masaledaar politics. So, what is the main point here... money, TRP, news in the real sense, popularity.. what??? what rules the roost, what speaks... I would surely say.. MONEY AND POWER DOES... just that and nothing else...

They give some news and steal the credit for everything, watermarking the visuals as well, if there is no news they create one and sell it across, so when Chiru's daughter was eloping only that was the focus for the day.. so nothing else moved in AP is it?? or when some sick guy does an acid attack everything else takes a back seat, when politics are hot, there is no such thing even in the remote corner.. so when there is some big news to cover the airtime with spicy news all is well in AP is it??.. and when there is nothing then comes the sting attacks on girl ditches boy, boy blackmails housewife, NRI tortures wife, etc., these do happen everyday but get coverage only when there is no other spicy news.. sick, sick, sick....

everything speaks loud and clear that they do not have any public interest but their own interest... they are into flood relief but through their channel, through their paper, to claim how much they do, people lined outside claim, we actually did not want to donate but the so and so channel made me do that and i have come all the way to thank it... cha... what is the solution?

and by the way, I dont feel anything wrong in Chiru's question.. I have always pointed that PRP is outright copy-cat glamour-masala-added version of JP's Loksatta at least in their manifesto or whatever they are trying to portray though there is hell a lot of difference in implementation... so, maybe Chiru was waiting this long to give a view after listening to JP talk... he asked what his stand is, so that he would go with it...

He still shows no bias towards anything, he still shows no miracle-solution but yes, his strong personality comes across clearly...

Please do pass it on, please do ensure that his views are passed across.. 'cos usually he is not heard as much thanks to his no-nonsense, no-drama attitude.

Lagadapati surfaces after 14-hour high tension drama... He supposedly, came by on a bike or an auto and ran into the NIMS hospital in Hyderabad. So, a very dirty end to dirty politics is what I would say.. he escapes in a Qualis infront of 100s of policemen and surfaces after 14 hours.. that means he surfaces only when he wants to.. great!! now I understand why our nation is an easy target for terrorist attacks.. a person supposedly week from 8 days of hunger strike outwits the police force and security in the hospital and reaches Hyderabad in spite of Red Alert along the route and is suddenly seen in a flash running into the hospital with a jacket and outrunning the police outside the hospital and cut the scene, next he is on the hospital bed looking tired and sleepy.. wow, performance needing an Oscar...

accha so he has jaundice now, and what else???

I fail to understand what he wants to prove... I would have appreciated it if he went on to hunger strike somewhere without being caught by the police.. no he did not do that... so that implies he obviously wants to get treated and get treated at the best of facilities in the state that is NIMS... whats wrong with NRI hospital by the way.. no answer!!!

He simply seems to be another madman with a stone in his hand (picchodi chetiki enduku manam raallanistunnam?).

Whose failure is it...
**he escape in front of whole media and police... and surprisingly no one can trace him unless he himself surfaces.
**there was red alert everywhere and obviously he has not walked all the way, so how efficient is the red alert.

So, to my simple brain, he seems to make a mockery of his own party government. It is nothing but attention-seeking tactics.. what else can be the explanation. Why are still people mad to believe this guy and go with him. Supports saying that they would destroy if he is not seen.. what the hell is it??? if he genuinely meets an accident on the way due to his mad acts, will they still burn the city.. bull$$$%#$.

and whole of the govt. machinery cannot trace him and he reaches NIMS in an auto for treatment.. I fail to understand what he wants to achieve by this and why people still do support this guy... I just cant understand???... let me regroup my thoughts and come back.. Why do I time and again fail to get the logic behind things that affect us in a huge way... that is politics..

This media is now creating a hype on his health condition.. well i dont see anything wrong with this guy capable of doing this thing, literally holding the state to ransom.. what the hell... what the hell.. what the helllllllllllllllllllllll.....

Dec 20, 2009

... of the high political drama unfolding around them??? I for one am.. I wake up due to this severe cough of mine which neither lets me sleep nor lie down and instead of browsing, I put the TV on for a change.. and yes, it doesnt fail to entertain me, amuse me, and irritate me like it always does.

Well, well, what do I see..
**Lagadapati escapes from the hospital, supposedly walks out stating he wants to talk to media, gets into his car, crashes the gate in a filmy fashion (well he has that filmy background after all) and escapes in front of 200 or more policemen/security whatever. (so much of security.. sigh.. the politicians never fail to divert attention to them drifting away from the actual issue)
**Wife complains no enough facilities in the hospital (well, that is where people from 2 districts go for treatment by the way for better treatment and if it is not enough then he as a public representative should have dealt with that issue before he set about unifying AP)... and what are you complaining for, isnt he on fast-unto-death.. which actually means no food until the demands are met or death fasting, he is better off with something rather than nothing in that deeksha camp.
**supporters threaten destruction if he is not traced and blame the police for this high-tension drama (well, anything is possible...)

Latest flash news
** he drops his gunmen
**he is in a qualis.
**he might be on NH-9
lot of speculations flying around... saying he seems to be caught yet time and again he escapes.. (and if any of his enemies catch him before the police do, what then??)..

here I fail to understand if it is the failure of machinery to contain a single individual or a cover-up by the machinery on something... (everything is so fishy, I have soo many doubts.. where is he escaping and what does he want to prove by it???)

Unaware of it all, a common man sleeps (what a bliss is this ignorance) to wake up to what?? I was happy to finally see an end to 3-day bandh and the life coming to standstill waiting for a fresh start. Monday had never been as inviting as tomorrow when I slept last night but I wake up in the middle of the night and wish to go back to sleep and wish that the mischief-mongers do the same and please whatever it is trace that Goddamn guy and lock him up in some place secure rather than let him around the roads posing a threat to self and other innocent people.

and media people, please do give us a break and rather being instigative, be a little investigative and genuine for the sake of peace TRACE HIM DOWN NOW!!!

So, what would I do if I chance up on this guy on the escape mode in my village... lock him up and give him a tight spanking to get it right and hope people AP do the same so that other people like him learn a lesson!!! phew!!

Good luck to me and AP to gear up to what we have in store thanks to all this and more.. 'cos it is 100s of lives on stake because of his as the supporters go into a frenzy and no wonder if the mob rule begins!! Have a Safe Monday...

Well, when I go back and look at my posts, I seem to address common man in third person.. hmm.. well, who is he by the way.. it is just one of us, you and me I mean.

If a common man writes his plight.. it would go like this...

my life is a struggle from moment to moment to moment...
...a struggle to put a square meal in my mouth and feed my family the same.
...a struggle to get them educated and raise above the current level of life that I personally am leading.
...a struggle to keep myself and my family healthy by maintaining hygiene and being extra cautious about my surroundings and me.

I am not bothered if I am in a unified state or a separate state, all I am worried about is what I have to shell out to fill my plate with food... the prices have grown multifold in a very short span.

I can say, by God's grace, I am from an okay-to-do financial background but still there are few things that pinch my pocket as well as my soul...

**the rising rice price (my staple diet).
**the rising grocery price (my everyday needs).
**the rising veggie price (my everyday nutrition needs).
**the rising cost of medicine (my once in a while need or with the kind of food and tensions we have maybe a daily need too in a few cases).
**the rising cost of living (touch anything and it is burning hot in price).

I was fighting it out against all odds all these days to give a peaceful life to my daughter and I am sick (Goddamnit I am, I might deny and say all is well, but no I seriously need some Goddamn medical attention immediately before I am way beyond repair) and what is stopping that, interestingly the bandh going on.. 'cos I am scared to leave my daughter at home and go visit a doctor in the hospital because I am not sure if and if i would reach home for that day or if my visit would be a success because people are shutting down all the places... well, mine is not a life-threatening issue but still it is a major concern.

I have to eat something good, but there is nothing on the road due to bandh, no veggies, no fruits and if there is something, I seriously have to rethink if I can actually afford it.. (yes, I have to with the sky-high prices).

If it is the situation of an educated, well-to-do individual, I cant imagine the plight of others with serious ailments.

I see taxi drivers, daily hawkers, street hawkers, etc. mourning on their lost livelihood for the day.. yes, there are still people around who earn and live by the day and sadly they are starving.

Any leader who wants to go on a liquid diet under medical supervision goes on a hunger strike, their followers create a ruckus, demand this and that, burn effigies, stop the traffic, close the shops, and TV channels, my God do not even mention them.. feed up all lies, how they lie is for another post but for now in my opinion if we ban all the TV channels for a couple of days, and stop the newspapers for a while, it would be really really good. With no propaganda, the issue would die down on its own or maybe not spread this fast..

I am sick and I am tired, both literally and figuratively.. I just want some break, I just want normal life, I just want to roam around freely and get my work done. I do not want to live like a captive in my own motherland, in my own village, in fear of what might happen the next moment. I dont want Andhra, I dont want Telangana, I dont want Seema, I am not bothered if it is unified or broken down into 24 different states, all I am bothered is I am well-fed, my neighbors and the people I see everyday are well-fed, I want kids going to school, I want people walking on the road fearlessly, I want life.. happy, sad, bad, mad, whatever it is, I want life back to normalcy.. it is maddening staying at home, waiting for things to happen when clearly nothing is happening other than high-current political drama..

Me, a common man is no way bothered... we want it to end,. So, if the majority (yes we happen to be the majority, we happen to be the king makers) is suffering because of minority who wants power, who wants money, then who is at fault.. me to vest the minority with such a high power or they who wield the power I give to them.

I am confused, I am sad, I am sick, I am hopping mad for letting this thing go out of hand.. is there an end to it soon? or is there an end ever???

Dec 18, 2009

...hurt because someone I trusted to be a genuine blogger with a cause and a purpose turned out to be yet another plagiarist....angry because I let myself fooled around all this while thinking it was a genuine effort.

So, those who bother to wonder about my status in messenger and this post title, be rest assured I am fine personally and so is the little one. It is just that my feelings are hurt in a little way.

and yes, I have hurt someone else' s feeling too in the process by putting it up here because the said person would be embarrassed in front of the viewership.. well, not really I have a very less readership and I dont really publicize the blog as much.. It is just my very close friends who care to follow regularly and the rest I really dont know.. a few by chance and a few by choice..

Okay, I understand the intentions were genuine and the error was inadvertent, so let things be...

To be honest, when I found people like Mad Momma, Kiran and others fighting it out against plagiarism I was like, okay what is so much of hue and cry about.. why cant we just think that okay these guys just dont have it in them and simply lift from ours, big deal??? Like they say, you wont feel the heat until you experience it.. I did, I would have laughed it off if it were to be anyone else... I feel bad because I thought this guy is different and he does have enormous potential. Just wish such things dont happen by mistake also.

I still feel the kid does a good job, and wish he would just continue to do it but please give credit where it is due...

The anger if you get it was not against what happened to me, it was against the trust factor.. maybe I had too many expectations from the person to take it lightly and brush it off.. anyways Good luck!!!

Dec 16, 2009

The one song which is bombarding the news channels the past few days is the video song advertisement by Lagadapati in favor of united Andhrapradesh. Yes, it is very good, no doubt about it. In fact, the first time I heard it, I was happy the govt. or that particular channel could come up with something this good, to bring about awareness but then at the end the title -- mee lagadapati glaring out aloud that this was another political campaign took out the essence of it all.. there were a lot of questions in my mind...

okay.. so when did KCR give his fast ultimatum
when did he start the liquid supplement diet (I refuse to accept that is a fast-unto-death in anyway because of obvious reasons)
when did Chidambaram give his separate state initiation statement
When did Lagadapati open his voice
When did he make this video.. it is obvious that it is made in rush.. so this rush could have been well accepted if it were to be done earlier when voices of separation were raised.

and where was he all the while for the past month or so.. he knew what the fast was for all through right???? I would have appreciated and felt it was genuine if it were launched the day the voices for separation were raising their hood.. now even that beautiful song stinks and screams out aloud a sheer political agenda to me... nothing else... I agree with all the points.. but as bolded in the text what Lagadapaati sees, according to me, is the pasidi meda in terms of thousands of crores of his very own properties out there... Samaikhyandra is really good but it doesnt sound convincing after all this...

The otherwise soothing voice of Gazal Srinivas screaming out through lungs doesnt really bring out anything in me.... each scream in emunnadi brings out the feeling as if the politicians are screaming out loud "naakemunnadi" that is it!!! Is it just me or do people out there agree too????!!

If nothing, I am sure these politicians could make money writing and directing movies and ads.. err.. they already are into it right.

The very same leaders who used to sing bhajans and songs in favor of Sonia are now raising their voices against the decision at the center. Well, what did they think.. it was pass the blame game when it came to a deciding factor, when KCR was threatening, when Telangana area was boiling everyone was supporting their cause openly or otherwise, supporting them and the others were conveniently silent because they knew it is not going to happen anyway so why become bad and spoil the image in Telangana areas, let the movement take it course, it will die on its own and then we can think and decide and talk. What else is the reason for staying quiet when KCR drama was unfolding in the state.

I personally would have applauded the relay hunger strikes all over remaining AP had they been initiated on the day KCR went on his. What did the silence all over mean, what should the center take a hint from, our silence right.. so they did what was the need of the hour. Since, only Telangana voices were heard and rest were either in support or just watching silently and cautiously to move their pawns in this vicious game, it is the common man who is suffering. A govt. employee gets paid, a s/w employee gets paid, a private limited employee gets paid but what about the poor laborer who gets paid only when he slogs throughout the day.. what happens to a road-side hawker whose family depends on what he earns for the day. What about so many daily wage workers who depend on a day's hard work and toil to have a meal in their plate. Is the common man interested in all this.

I would say no, it is just a few political vultures and high-fi investors who are scared about the downward spiral or I would see this high-drama now as their own vested-interest move, okay what wrong, let us go forward with the agitation, if the center bends down fine, if not and there is separation, we will still be in the top cadre.. shame on them!!

I see leaders like Nannapaneni extending support to all the people doing the fasts across the state irrespective of the parties in fact kissing lagadapati good luck and crying with Devineni Uma, wow, they make great pictures, but do people really really believe and now Chiru jumping into the samaikhya bandwagon.. If I am not too senile, Saamaajika Telangana was in their manifesto or whatever and what about Telugu Desam party they were hand in glove with TRS right. Just a matter of months and we see so many changes. It is heartening see them unite but yes they would do anything to stay in limelight. What I am not able to understand is why is an educated understanding and otherwise intelligent common man throwing a blind eye and going with the flow of these evil-minded manipulative manners.

and JP sir, as usual, you say, you are pro-telangana if it is achieved using constitutional means but sir, this just wont work.. you have to take a stand, either you are for it or you are not for it. You are an able administrator, well learned and man of ethics but a leader should also be able to make us see the path if not very clearly, at least vaguely. You go by the book, you want people to go by the law.. yes, we will. LSP is the only party a lot of people like me look up to in terms of a response on what is going on and time and again, I personally am disappointed. This is one party where people go on their own, each member in the party is there because they want to see the change, they want to go by lawful means, they want to achieve something with an able guide like you because we are otherwise without a direction. Agreed, it is a small minority, very very small indeed but even that small group would scatter if such is the noncommittal attitude.

I happened to see a video in response to Lagadapati's ad

which I felt is true too... why the unnecessary issue, the bill has to pass, the decision has to be made and then comes the talk of plus or minus Hyderabad or whatever why all the high drama obstructing day-to-day life other than personal motives.

I am left in no doubt that there is no immediate solution whatever, will the people pro-Telangana keep quiet if the government backtracks on its promise. Wont it be a prestige issue to them.. forget the prestige issue, arent emotions already ruling the roost!!! Present day Andhrapradesh is clearly an example of what happens when each person goes in a different direction, what happens when a political party keeps itself together after wavering quite a lot on its stand.. To an outsider it all seems messy and I have my non-AP friends asking me hell a lot of questions as to why things out of hand... my reply is like I really dont know.. it was bound to happen a long while ago, an outcry to have progress by people but it is sad that even that outcry is being used by politicians in a different way..

One very strange out of the blue question that blew my fuse was..."okay, a movement of this magnitude happens only after a lot of oppression and anger, so why is it that everything was calm until YS death.. you think his accident was really an accident????" this was my friend from Karnataka, whose family moved from AP to Karnataka a couple of generations ago, who is right now in Mexico, who is kind of startled by such a huge outcry all of a sudden. I am like.. NO WAY, THIS CANT BE, NOO way, No way, no way and then again oh, no I never thought in that angle and it is a big NO.

So, a whole lot of confusion, a whole of lot of drama, a dash of reality and a lot of media-fed lies, dont know where we are heading to.. am confused, or is there any other big term or a new term to actually bring out the state I and a whole lot of people like me are in...

PS: Hari, I am not able to comment on your posts.. loved the Sonia one and it is so true, to a large extent it is that attitude which made us see the day like this.. can you leave me your mail id in comment.

Dec 9, 2009

The much awaited day for the separatists has dawned.. at the strike of midnight or close to it, the statement comes out.. they do give it a nod, the process of initiation is going to happen and KCR drinks juice.. well, when was he actually fasting by the way?????? Since the govt. is anyway going to declare a separate state, why not go for a fast and get undue credit is the motto was it.

Beware Telangana people.. let us not make it another Uttaranchal or Jharkhand if and if it happens.. and by the way, that leaves me confused as to where I belong to now.

Born in coastal Andhra, brought up in Hyderabad, residing everywhere in the nation. what does that make me??? So, next time I step in Hyderabad, will that be another state I am traveling to... shocking even when prepared. truth takes time to sink in or will it??

Good luck each and everyone of us who is as confused as I am and good luck to those who are pretty happy at the outcome 'cos you need to maintain the same in the future too... Good luck generation next.. so where do we begin.. Rayalaseema or Uttarandhra??? take your pick!!!! and we need to gear up for whirlwind changes soon.. shaking my head, shaking it strong, shaking it wild but will that help it sink in any faster?

It has been 9 nine months in the belly and 9th month in the world outside. Let me say, I love you, love you, love you and love you to the power of infinite. It hurts me to see you sad, and sadly, you have been the target of a lot of ailments this past month. You have gone down drastically in terms of weight but the smile on your lips is intact which is what is keeping me going without breaking down. It has been a month of sickness, first the cold, cough, and fever, then the diarrhea, then the fall from the walker, then the cold again, then the lactose intolerance. It seemed to be a never-ending battle that we were facing collectively against germs and bugs seemingly attacking the kids all over.

It is amazing how easy it is for you to forget pain or pleasure in a moment and live the life of a saint, everything is momentary for you. You feel it at that moment and then you are back to normal self, enjoying/going through each moment as it comes and what it gives, no expectations, no disappointments, nothing as of now. No matter how many toys you have, you find your pleasure in plastic wrappers, empty powder tins, packaging boxes, news paper, mud, sand, leaves anything but the toys once you are done with the quota of play for the day.

It feels good to see that pleasure in your eyes when you get a new toy... anything, any little gift, any little toy lights up your eyes, brings a squeal to your voice and the happy scream is more than worth the effort in picking it up. You are not yet at a age where you measure the value of the gift by price or by size, it is just that it is new and bright that matters to you... Just wish that quality of yours is never lost in this materialistic world. Another thing I love about you is that you dont mind to share your toys, you dont mind to be content with what you have in hand and hand over the remaining happily to the kids playing with you. Great kiddo, way to go, share it.. it is with one toy you play at a time, so why not let them.. good job!!!! I also notice that you dont get depressed if someone pulls the toy from you, just give them a look, try to get it and if they dont give it, just pick another and go about it.. wow, that is cool, when will I learn to do that.. or when will I ever re-learn to do it.

Coming to that, there are a lot of things that you taught me. Isnt it the other way it should be. Forgive this mom for not being able to teach you anything. I guess you know everything and it is my duty to not let you forget what you already know..

***You wake up very early in the morning and go about playing with yourself and enjoy that quality time with yourself even if i dont wake up. (point 1, dont let you lose that habit because I myself want to sleep a little more).***You are so very dedicated to learn anything new, and you just don't rest until you perfect that, be it a new word, a new task like rolling over, sitting, trying to stand.. you just dont rest, your thoughts, focus and everything is on the task at hand, way to go.. if you go that way, you will attain anything you want to.***Constant learning.. everything is very new to you, every sound, every sight, everything, you absorb everything and set about knowing it more. It is one thing that as an elder, we tend to forget, we tend to say okay, I give up, i cant learn anymore. When a kid who knows nothing builds up a vocabulary so strong, why cant we well-learned and well-grown adults do the same, there is always a place to grow, to learn, to absorb.. life is a constant struggle to learn and put to practice what is learnt.***You show the same love and affection to everyone irrespective of caste, creed, race, color, size, shape, and even what species they belong to. Great kiddo, be just the same.. there will come a time when you need to be aware of a few things which I would certainly let you know but for now, spread the same cheer.

and coming to what you personally made me realize areI can do anything if I want to no matter how many distractionsI need to take care of myself first to take care of youI need to keep my mind fresh and happy so that it doesnt affect you even in the minutest way.. so, with you in my life there is a whole lot of order to it.I need to keep the smile on my face with no sign of anger, not just at you but any one in general, so you taught me what everyone else had failed to do, put a tab on my unusually strong anger.

Was scared to look after you as a baby so tiny in my hands, just about a little more than both my palms put together and looking back, it is no big deal that I did that, you have been such a wonderful baby guiding me all through and cooperating at every step. I still remember the ringing words in my ears of your doc "chettu meeda pakshulaki evari help untundi, they manage with a kid on top of a tree and balance them right".. yes, you gave me the courage to beat the odds and showed me the strength within that I did not know existed. That smiling face, that naughty look in the eye vanishes any sign of tiredness. People do call me a good mom at times but dearest baby it is because of a great baby like you that I get to be that.

You have been the best I could have asked for so far but you scared the hell out of me being constantly sick for a while one after the other and with a drastically down appetite. Just hope it is the teething trouble and those pearly whites do kick in and finish off this phase fast.

Your vocabulary has increased a lot and you keep practicing new two-letter combination words all the time.. to leave you with a few thaatha, atthha, paapa, babababa, amma, nyanya, ayya, aao aao, and a lot more in gibberish which neither my tongue nor my writing skills can replicate here.. way to go kiddo...

and yeah, you are not tooooooo good either before you start dancing up, you are way too naughty to keep amma on her old toes :((( trying to crawl up and fall down in the process hurting yourself and scaring the hell out of poor amma.. be good kiddo, dont fall, be brave and yeah just be as good.. I might not deserve all this goodness but I dont mind it you know :).

This is one song my friend used to sing while I was in school and me being the rebel and a fan of naxalism and all, fell in love with it instantly. Yes, got me right, I was into reading and listening to naxal literature thanks to her father and his friends. But gradually, the interest in it faded. I did not quite know what was wrong, but felt there was something wrong, maybe it was in the system, maybe it was in the surroundings around me. But I was always awestruck by the words rebellion, naxalism, revolution and all and that seemed to be the most IN thing to do. Why?? Honestly, maybe it was just a fashion trend at that time in my tiny mind.

Later on gradually, it faded and as the reality sank in, the struggle of life, the struggle to move on with it, pushed the high aspirations and the political rebel in me into the farthest corner and all I do now is just wonder and wonder and sometimes shout in this space and then again wonder.. sigh.. there I digress...

So, this agitation, Jai Telangana movement or whatever it is, really really unfortunate. The students or the name of the students being dragged into it is really sad to note. When I look at the students on the TV, I find it hard to digest and believe that they are students actually, it looks like unemployed/uneducated youth are bought and sent to give life to false agitation. I agree there is anger in all sectors of life and all age groups towards the injustice meted to them time and again but the way they are reacting is not believable. The TV channels showing and mentioning time and again that "tama priyatama naayakudu, tama hakkulakosam praana tyaagam cheyyadaniki siddhapadda mahaneeyudu, anna KCR, kosam vidhyarthi prapamcham viplavam shrushtistundi, blah.. blah.." tyaga moorthi my foot, all the student unions put together tell him that they take charge of the movement and dont want him in the picture, the next thing he would do is go for a best corporate hospital and then go underground for a while before cooking up new strategy.. What is he doing right now, enjoying all the attention diverting it from the cause.

If they were actually educated youth they would never give into great actors like KCR. Their wisdom and knowledge would let them see through his selfishly-directed motives rather than collective benefit. Gandhiji has given us a weapon of satyagraha but what is the "satya" and what is the "aagraha" directed at? There is also something called non-cooperation that can be followed. If the employees feel they are sidelined "pen-down" dont work, get together, no point burning buses, effigies, and thereby burning a hole in our own pocket. Just refuse to cooperate to run the public machinery smoothly.. Is it that tough, tougher than burning buses and beating down people and destroying shops.

Refuse to do any work, refuse to go to college, refuse to rest until you get the justice. Do not let the leaders like them to ruin your already ruined and downtrodden lives. What is the guarantee that KCR and his family doesnt do another KODA act? what is the guarantee that the people in a separate state are not left to minimum wage, no work guarantee life and go across states for a decent livelihood like people from Jharkand and all do.

Yes, we fight for our rights.
Yes, we fight for what is rightfully ours.
Yes, we fight for justice.
Yes, we fight for equality.
Yes, we fight for everything good.. but shouldnt the means justify the end that we want to achieve.

Why give that man KCR, a many with a body full of ailments from head to toe, who is on drip continuously and the only reason we are to believe that he is on fast-unto-death is that he is not accepting any solid food the credit for the hardwork the youth is putting. He has been under proper care from minute 1 he decided to go for fasting, rather announcing 3 weeks before actually even attempting that what was the point. Every one of us, even a layman knows that just talks wont work and we need something drastic to happen, then why not start off spontaneously and show that you are genuinely stuck to the cause. Why is it that only his son, nephew, and daughter is actively participating in all active decisions.. no one else in the party is it.. or Telangana comprises only of one family???

If and if there is an understanding now between the leaders and the issue is parked for a while with a few promises, who will run around the court for the cases registered on them, who is going to suffer once their names are in the police records as anti-social elements. Okay, if there is a separate state minus Hyderabad, what is the progress aspect of the rest of the districts??? will that issue be finalized there? What is this concept of free zone all about, something that benefits the rich and famous or the poor and needy..

I just hope and wish the students dont fall into the trap of the leaders and think on their own. If this is a rebellion and a struggle for freedom, so be it but let that be genuine, let that be peaceful, let that be strong. Diluting the very essence of the movement by diverting the attention for all wrong reasons is the key strength of politicians.. why give them the chance in the first place. If it is youth power talking, let the youth power be the one leading the new state or existing state or whatever. I just wish that whatever it is that is gained by this movement right now at this moment is not thrown away to the greedy vultures like KCR and family.

It is Srikanth's family that is at loss now, it does not really bother me unless I want to think about it or for that matter, it doesnt bother anyone other than his immediate blood relatives.. we read in paper, we watch in tv, we might shed a tear or two, or take it a little way longer by paying tributes but then that is it.. he is forgotten, he just becomes another anonymous person in this struggle....

Unified AP, segregated AP, whatever, if the people are prospering it is good... being played as pawns in the hands of well-calculated manipulative political minds, adding fuel to the fire once in a while is just not acceptable.. given a chance, leaders will break AP into colonies and try to rule to fill their own pockets.. is that what we want, is this what our education has taught us to do?..

Burning Potti Sreeramulu statue, demolishing them is not an answer to the solution. Prior to reorganization, Telangana was a separate state while Andhra and Madras were merged together. It was for separation of those states on linguistic basis that he fought for rather than merger of Telangana and telugu-speaking places. It was against SRC, that the merger had happened to satisfy the anger after his death after a prolonged fasting, 50 days and more to be precise and only then the anger went out of control... and if I am not wrong, he had undertaken another fast prior to this, giving the govt. a chance, which he stopped as he was promised and only when it was not fulfilled after a considerable time lapse, he went on for another one.. so why not this guy do the same if it is genuinely in the interest of people.

It is not right to compare those 2 guys, PS had no family to speak of to bring into the fore, no political high hopes to get into power, it was pure following Gandhism for a dedicated cause. Now, forgetting it all, just pointing him as the reason for the downtrodden Telangana area is just not fair. Things can be gotten done, even when unified. Railroad, education funds, agricultural help, water share, employment share, everything can be bettered when we dont sell the vote, when we dont sell ourselves and as an educated youth, we should educate the rest of the people to understand the intricate details and guide them towards progress isnt it?? or then what is the use of our education....

Dec 3, 2009

So apt in the present day scenario.. the one song that is at the back of my mind as and when I see the TV and the flash news these days... yet another gem of this man/legend Sirivennala... did I say Hatsoff... yeah, a thousand times over!!

Actually, this is a very very late reaction after the initial prediction. To be precise, I was speechless, thought this guy would at least go on fast for a couple of days before he starts breaking up.. the high drama by the government and the TRS cadre was absolutely unnecessary. The movement for a separate state has gained enough momentum and rather than obstructing, I feel personally that the issue should be addressed and let the things take their own course rather than hushing up the issue with false promises and wait until the movement raises its ugly hood again claiming lives and creating chaos in the lives of innocent people.

The leaders both from unified AP and the separatists would be safe in their security protected homes, chauffeur-driven vehicles, and with nepotism at its peak their people in good powerful places while the common man is just left to the mercy of them.

The high drama unfolding in various hospitals, jails, vehicles, wherever KCR happens to be there is getting on to my nerves. Agreed, the people in the rural areas, the totally uneducated lot might not understand and will still pin down their hopes on this guy but what is with those students and all who want to claim their lives for his sake. Okay, movement for the development of Telangana region, for the people is at least a noble way of thinking about it but the words and statements clubbing KCR and Telangana are just not right. What is this guy doing, cant you guys see the bluff, it is hardly 5th day and the health is deteriorating, Human Rights organizations intervene, politicians intervene, family intervenes, and the whole focus is diverted for wrong reasons. If the government bows down for a fast-unto-death threat by an individual because he wants power in his hands then maybe it would be a good idea that Jagan and his supporters start another movement for Rayalaseema separate state because he wants to become the CM anyways. Is that the way, we go about it?? Isnt there any law in place, cant we see to it that the law is followed, cant we be watchdogs of the society and pounce upon anyone who dares to tread in corrupt path. Yes, it is very much possible, but where do we start.

To begin with, I agree totally that years and years and years waiting for someone to come, something to be done, the people are vexed up but then again what are they doing now, they are pinning down their hopes on one person whose solo aim is self-promotion. A youth puts himself on fire, who is suffering, nobody but him and his immediate family members, is he receiving medical care, how is the family coping up financially, are we bothered? No, we are bothered about a man who is forcibly fed or hydrated and is under very good care of government. Sad isnt it?

Students threaten to die for him, if something happens to him.. shame on them, who do they think they are doing it for, giving up the precious life that has been given to them by their parents God knows after how many sacrifices and with how many hopes. You want jobs, you want growth and equality all over, you want to reap the benefits of the natural resources and want to actually lead a life of democracy, then fight for it. Fighting it out till your last breath to be heard is very genuine and valid but DO NOT BELIEVE THESE SHEEP-SKINNED WOLVES, THE SNAKES WHO OCCUPY THE ANTHILL.

If and If there is a separate state, it should be because all of you all want it for your development, it is the collective hard-work and resolute and determination of each and every person from that area and not just attributing it to a guy called KCR just because he happens to have a political clout. I am not against or for a separate state.

To be frank, I am confused, no doubt there would be better opportunities if there is a breakup but will the people be able to get them genuinely or will it be just the way that Britishers left our nation after it is plundered to the core and the leaders plundered what all they have left. At least, it was okay at that time, because we knew queen was benefiting from it all. Now, it is worse because a brother is looting his own and stacking it away for selfish reasons.

I had followed the happenings on the day one, by the evening or maybe late evening I see this guy KCR talking soberly that he doesnt want people comitting suicide because of him and all that and drink juice with his very own hands and after seeing the reaction of people outside that his bluff is out, the family and the near and dear claim that he was medicated and forced. B*^*&)(*)(*. I wont believe and neither will most of them.

What is wrong with this media, who keeps showing fake news claiming to be flash news. Why do we need to glorify this person so much.. why not focus on genuine root cause of it all. Let that person BE and think about the blind supporters or are there any of them left?????????

I would just say.. DO NOT ATTRIBUTE GLORY TO A GUY WHO DESERVES BRICKBATS.. THE CAUSE IS GENUINE, FIGHT IT OUT. GET A SEPARATE STATE, BUT MAKE IT IDEAL IN TERMS OF DEVELOPMENT. JUST FALLING BACK INTO PATTERN OF HANDING OVER THE STATE IN HANDS OF A SINGLE INDIVIDUAL OR FAMILY WHO WILL THEN THROW AWAY THE SACRIFICE AND HARD WORK OF PEOPLE IS NO POINT. THINK AND THINK AGAIN!!!!

For Evil Eyes on LO

About Me

Determined, strong, eccentric, irregular, crazy, candid, sweet, spicy, naughty, nutty, kind, rigid, soft, calm, considerate, stubborn, sensible yet way too sensitive than expected despite a tough exterior.. On the whole a bit of everything and above all A SURVIVOR!!!
A simple complex individual who has an opinion on everything in general and does nothing about anything in particular. A perfectly imperfect one-piece item in the whole wide world ;).