lost

Actually i don't know who I am, I have lost my personality, used to active full of joy hope. To day I don't even know in what must I believe, it a constant between me and myself. I gave everything but did not got much in return. I've too sensible, I do not have any interest in daily activities and I am surrounded by people that cannot and do not help me. I am constantly tired fed up of everything, I hate everyone obtaining what I don't have with so much facility. Some days I say to myself I should estimate me lucky has there are other people with more serious problems but other times when it is too hard these arguments does not change anything.

I feel angry, sad, and wake up everyday full of negativeness.
The only person that can help me does not do it because he does not see my pains, for that individual I am only someone very strong and no matter the obstacles I will obviously overcome it alone. My life a series of traumatizing events that pushed me too early in the adult world. I would like to cry to find some relief but I have cried so much during these 26 years that not even a tear is left. Now my only friend on which I can rely on, that make me feel butter even if for a short time, FOOD. You want to know the extent of my pain.........7 yrs 45 kilos 15yrs 85 and 26yrs 99 accompanied with anxiety, hypertension, obesity blood circulatory problems. Isn't it beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!