Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

(On the particular day the dairy fridge has broken down AND we have quite a lot of stock with a ‘best before’ sticker for that day. So I decide to reduce all that stock lower than I usually would just to get rid of it.)

Customer: “I would like to speak to the manager, please.”

Me: “That would be me. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this cream AND this cake today. I poured the cream over the cake for my family only to find it was off. So it ruined the cake. I want a refund for both.”

(She hands me a receipt which shows that both items had been reduced quite heavily. I apologize profusely while trying to explain that we were sure the dairy fridge breakdown didn’t damage anything.)

Me: “And that’s all done for you! Here is your refund of £1.”

(The customer holds the £1 coin in her hand and looks slightly confused.)

Customer: “I wanted a refund.”

Me: “…and I gave you one. According to the receipt you gave me you only paid £1 total for those products.”

Customer: “But it was bad. Surely you should give me a refund of the full price.”

Me: “Do you sell things on eBay?”

Customer:*taken aback* “How is that relevant?”

Me: “Indulge me.”

Customer: “Yes. I sold my husband’s PS3 last week.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s say I bought your husband’s PS3 for £100. But when I connected it to my TV it didn’t work and I insisted that I get a refund. Do I ask for the £100 I paid you or the £400 you probably bought it for?”

(Somehow this confused her even more. She decided I made a valid point and left the shop in an almost dream-like state. We never saw this customer again and we still don’t know to this day if she was attempting a scam, or just a little dim.)