Thanks everyone for the support. My grandmother is holding her own. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

I am going with my sister to pick up her friend at the airport this evening. It is going to be very tough, but I didn't want my sister to try to drive being upset.

06-13-2005, 10:31 AM

Ana Bannana

Good thinking CC. Glad you can be there for your sister, and I bet she appreciates the company and the driver. Family is what matters in times like these. Bless you dear.

06-13-2005, 10:40 PM

J.D.

I had to come here to wallow for a few. This is something I'm not ready to share with my family (whom I usually run to with every little paper cut) - I got an email (a friggin' email) from my daughter telling me "Mom, we have to talk. Tj and I are getting a divorce. Mutual agreement. Call or write when you can."

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! She sent it from work, but had already left by the time I got it. She is in school for another two hours tonight, and I am just flipping out. I've left a b'gillion messages on her phone - threatening her to call me ASAP.

I called her dad, Wes (we are good friends), - and he said he's known since last week (which really pisses me off - no one even called???) - but no one is busting up with any details. Wes said she told him that she and TJ had simply grown apart. TJ moved out last week.

I know Tj's mom has been accusing Lori of having affairs for months now - and has convinced TJ that's really going on. TJ's family even got after them for spending money on Lori's schooling instead of getting liposuction for TJ!!!! Hey, buddy - why don't you go to the friggin' gym! He's 21 years old! I don't dislike TJ - he's a good kid. Emphasis on kid. And he's a wonderful daddy.

But what about the babies!! Dammit. Dammit. my babies.

I've told my kids for years that if I could go back in time and change one thing - it would be to have stayed married to their dad and raised our kids together. I guess I wasn't very convincing.

I've got so many emotions going on right now I don't know what to think. Of course I love Lori, and I will support her in every way - whatever she decides. I don't know what to do, what to think, what to say, or what to feel. This isn't supposed to happen to my kids. I guess I just sit and wait for the phone to ring. Dammit.

06-13-2005, 10:51 PM

Muduh

Wow, J.D. what a way to find out such life altering news. I can sympathize with you because I've been through it with my own kids. I think their divorces are more painful for us than our own were. I hope she calls tonight so that you can at least get the entire story from the source. I'll be thinking of you.

06-13-2005, 10:52 PM

Unklescott

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.D.

- and he said he's known since last week (which really pisses me off - no one even called???) - but no one is busting up with any details.

Maybe this is the reason they didn't tell you J.D. She knew how upset you would be:

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.D.

I've told my kids for years that if I could go back in time and change one thing - it would be to have stayed married to their dad and raised our kids together. I guess I wasn't very convincing.

I'm sure you are sick J.D. because you don't want your young'un to experience the pain and heartache you went through. I wouldn't wish a divorce on anybody (well, except the ex but I think she's used to it after the 5th one).

06-13-2005, 11:18 PM

J.D.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muduh

Wow, J.D. what a way to find out such life altering news. I can sympathize with you because I've been through it with my own kids. I think their divorces are more painful for us than our own were. I hope she calls tonight so that you can at least get the entire story from the source. I'll be thinking of you.

Unk, that's a good point. I don't know why she's afraid to talk to me about this stuff. It was her dad who told me she was first pregnant - while I was on the way taking her to the doctor. Wes tells me she said that she hadn't told me or grandma (my mom) about it yet. Wes said this time it's up to her, he's not going to do it. It just seems so odd to me. I NEVER flip out, the yelling, screaming thing just isn't me. I'm always the level headed one in these situations - she has no reason to be afraid of me or my reaction. Maybe she doesn't want to let me down or something like that?? I don't know. That's the only thing I can come up with.

06-13-2005, 11:35 PM

Jewelsy

Quote:

Maybe she doesn't want to let me down or something like that?? I don't know. That's the only thing I can come up with.

That's probably it, JD. :nod You have such a quiet/calm voice on the phone, I couldn't imagine you going off (but then again, I'm not your kid).

I'm sorry you're going through this. :grouphug

06-13-2005, 11:42 PM

Lucy

JD, I know that I have trouble telling my mother things not because she yells (she doesn't) but because I don't want her to be disappointed in me. That might be what's going on here -- if you've made clear that you regret not raising your kids with their father, she might feel like her choice to divorce will disappoint you.

That might also be why she emailed you first -- to prepare you before she has to actually face you (or talk to you on the phone). I know I've done that before -- when I needed to have an important conversation that was hard to start, I emailed so that I couldn't take it back, couldn't lose my nerve.

It's a sucky situation, but you might just have to let her tell you in her own time. :grouphug

06-13-2005, 11:50 PM

dagwood

Aw, JD, I don't have much to add except to say that I agree with Lucy. :grouphug

The babies will be fine, especially since they are surrounded by people who love them. :)