Connecticut Senator Joe
Lieberman today announced his intention to throw his yamaka in the ring to
make a second run for Assistant Commander in Chief.

"God willing, I will be the first Jewish Vice President
once again,"
Lieberman claimed, saying that he would be willing to serve as Veep for
"pretty much any of the candidates except for Chris Dodd, who hurt my
feelings pretty bad back in 2006 when he supported Ned Lamont over me for
the senate. Payback is a bitch, ain't it Chris?"

Although Lieberman recently endorsed the candidacy of Senator John
McCain ("He'd give me the job in a New York minute"), he wants to make it
clear that he would be willing to support almost anyone who would
take him on.

"Almost anyone except for Chris Dodd, yes, because I feel like I could
bring true balance to the ticket," says Lieberman. "Democrats, sure, even
though none of them much support my foreign policy. I used to be a
Democrat, so I guess supporting a Democrat would be almost second nature,
and maybe I could talk some sense into them in the process."

As gracious as Lieberman is, however, he realizes than almost none of
the Democratic candidates has asked for his support.

"Sad but true," nods Lieberman, "nobody from my former party has asked
me to help out, unless you count Chris Dodd, and I turned that sonofabitch
down in a flash. So I guess I'll just have to be content with being the
Republican candidate for Vice President. I mean, gosh, I really do balance
those guys out. A Baptist preacher and a Jew, that's like peanut butter
and jelly. A Mormon and a Jew, what's not too like? Giuliani and a Jew,
that's just fun to say, isn't it? Well, anyway you roll it, I'm ready to
serve, and Chris Dodd can just kiss my tookus."