Bear on the roof...

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he
looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for
"Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover
says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got
a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm
going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with
this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is
trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will
then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the
back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves." — Anna Quindlen

I don't want that much organization in my life..I don't want other people thinking for me...- Jimmy Buffett -