Rabbits who think they are uptight schoolteachers can be found throughout the northern United States. They are distinguishable by their delicate purple sweater vests and their prim, disapproving facial expressions. If you find one, be sure to tuck in your shirt.

Huskies who think they are intellectuals are most commonly seen in quiet reading rooms or alcoves with their furry little noses buried in a book. Once they reach adulthood most huskies who think they are intellectuals begin working on an obscure doctoral thesis that they will tragically never finish to their satisfaction.

Something of a tragic animal, polar bears who think they are waving goodbye are forever in a state of flux. In a very real sense, they are achingly aware of the passing of all things. You should definitely wave back at them.

For as long as these animals have been known, naturalists have been at a loss to explain the scientific reasons behind their severe facial expressions and implacable body language. The prevailing theory is that these idiosyncratic physical features are a result of the fact that you have let them down for the last time.