We spoke with Cuddy about her research on the effects of
goal-setting and how to avoid a resolution that will end up being
a burden.

She said there are four common mistakes with New Year's
resolutions.

They deal with absolutes.

"People are making absolute statements about what they're going
to do, and that's setting them up for failure immediately," Cuddy
said, "because they're not always going to go to the gym
three times a week."

For that example, you may start to religiously work out at the
gym, but at some point in the year there may be a period where
the flu keeps you in bed for a week or a few days when you need
to set aside your plans for the sake of your job or family.

On the other hand, it's just as unhelpful to come up with a vague
and distant goal, such as "I'm going to get a job," because
there's nothing to latch onto.

They are framed by negativity.

People "tend to focus on things they want to change about
themselves and things they dislike about themselves," Cuddy said.

When you do this, "you're eliciting in yourself negative
emotions. Some negative emotions are motivating, but for the most
part, they're not," she explained.

If you say, "I'm going to stop eating junk food," to use an
example, you're denigrating yourself before even getting started.
You're better off framing your goal as "eating healthier" so that
you'll remain motivated and optimistic.

They are focused on the outcome and not the process.

"If you're focused on walking 100 miles, and you're just
constantly focused on that number 100 miles and trying to track
your progress, it's going to be pretty friggin demoralizing most
of the way," Cuddy said. "You're going to feel like a failure for
so much of that because the comparison is between where I am now
versus where I want to be."

They are reliant on outside forces.

And finally, it's a bad idea to incorporate other people and
moments of luck into your goal-setting.

If you're going for a promotion at work, you'll be doing yourself
a favor by focusing on steps along the way related to your
performance. But starting off with the idea that you're a failure
if you don't get the position disregards plenty of factors beyond
your control, such as the mindset of your boss and any other role
changes within the company.

In "Presence," Cuddy advocates for "self-nudging," a process of
constantly setting small goals in lieu of large ones.

And while she is not a fan of grandiose New Year's resolutions,
she said she can still appreciate that people want to use January
1 as a symbolic day to start with a goal, as long as it's one
that allows room for self-nudges and doesn't cause too much
stress.

Cuddy said that one of her goals last year was "to fall in love
with running," avoiding any specific number of miles or pace
times. She started with a simple self-nudge to reach a jogging
pace where she would still be able to carry a conversation
without getting winded, and started building from there.

As a natural byproduct of this approach, her pace began to pick
up. And she didn't even have to shame herself into getting into
better shape.