Well, Katie Holmes might be. Her new hair extensions and her dewey, glossy look at the Tokyo premiere of Valkyrie hint that she’s expecting.

Staragrees and sites “then” and “now” photos of Katie as evidence.

In a shot taken February 28th she looks gaunt and ill without makeup or her hair styled. Her cheekbones make her look frighteningly like Skeletorand she’s got a crazy-old-lady shine in her eyes. But in her March 11th photo in Tokyo she’s all done up, rockin’ some hot hair extensions so she looks like a normal 30 year old.

That is a rarity for Katie, often photographed looking strung out or dazed, fueling rumors of Scientology “cleansing programs” run amok and earning her the nickname Katie-Bot.”

Well it looks like she’s had an upgrade. OK! says that their family and close friends already know she’s pregnant but they’re just waiting a while to go public.

OK! also covers the dream of future Brangelina babies, both biological and adopted.

According to the magazine the A-List couple is trying for the land speed record of babymaking by simultaneously getting Angelina pregnant and adopting an African baby!

Wow, what an awful life Brad Pitt has. All he’s got is the world’s hottest woman as a de facto wife, the world’s (other) hottest man as his best buddy and the world’s hottest children following him around all day. Poor guy.

The last of OK”s maybe baby celebrity coverage is a story about how, despite losing yet another man, Jen Aniston is still keeping her baby dreams alive.

Yep, she and John Mayer are off again, and the mag says being single might not prevent Jen from becoming a mom. But mostly it just wants to talk about the breakup and how Jon just ain’t a marryin’ man.

US! breaks it down further, explaining that Jen is primed and ready to get hitched and make a baby but John is really more interested in his career right now. Which, you know, the irony could knock you over on this one. Rumors at the time of her split from Brad Pitt was that she didn’t want to make babies yet and that’s what stalled their marriage.

Uhh, and possibly working with Angelina might have had something to do with it also. But anyway, Jen’s old words are coming back to haunt her on this one and all of the hot, young studs in Hollywood better watch out. Jen’s going to be on the prowl with her ovaries as her chauffer.

Star’s coverage of the split is way more salacious, with rumors of Mayer shopping around a tell-all book about their relationship and all of Jen’s little quirks. Like her six-hour exercise and beauty routine and her alleged obsession with her ex. Apparently she called out his name in bed once too! (Though how did they find out? Was John Twittering again?) Whoops, that’s embarrassing.

But beside all of the stories that Jon has been keeping notes, there’s also allegedly pictures! Of Jen sleeping! With no makeup on! And also shots of her drunk at a party in Mexico. Tisk tisk, so many starlets fall into the same trap of sleeping and having a good time on vacation. It’s almost as if they are asking for someone to take embarrassing photos of them!

We’re also officially on Nicole Richie Baby Bump Watch.

US gives us a front page story on her “boho-chic” maternity wear. I’m sure her look will be all the rage with upwardly mobile, anorexic mothers-to-be this spring.

According to Star, she and rocker beau Joel Madden are expecting twins, and
they’re hoping for boys. Twins are so 2008 though. Don’t they know that multiple births are super hot right now? If they want to steal headlines they’re going to have to do something outrageous! Nine babies! Ten! Hell, give us a baker’s dozen and you’ll have free stuff just handed to you.

It worked for Nadya Suleman. According to Us, Nadya took her other kids out to amusement parks while volunteers were retro-fitting her new house with baby safety devices and giving it an “industrial medical cleaning.” She also had all sorts of baby equipment delivered, and there’s a hand painted mural in the new nursery where the octuplets will be sleeping, two to a crib. I guess she got a government bailout too!

Last, but not least, the National Enquirer put some of this year’s ugliest beach bodies on their cover. Look, I got a lot of respect for Beth Ditto but I don’t need to see all 210 pounds of her on my coffee table.

The good beach bodies are perennials: Julia Roberts still makes the list, Hilary Swank is looking good in a gold bikini.

And there are the “then” and “now” shots of Nicole Richie looking like a zombie at a beach party in 2006, and a more recent shot of her wearing more meat on her bones in a two-piece.

The other is of Britney Spears at, ohmygodthehorror, 120 pounds last year and now with a more svelte, less frito pie enhanced, beach bod.

Other non-surprises on the best of beach list are Charlize Theron and Salma Hayek’s breasts in a blue one piece.

To evenly distribute the scorn and ridicule, NE also gives us a spread of men’s beach bodies. The worst they could find though is hardly bad. Gary Dourdan (formerly of CSI) looks like he’s been partaking in too many unemployment beers but he squeezed himself into a teeny-tiny speedo anyway.

They’ve also reprinted the photo of President Obama on the beach that raised blood pressure earlier this year. Not bad Mr. President, all of that basketball really does you a world of good, I don’t care how bad a bowler you are!

Vegas is a gambler who always loses money on craps. She spends her time in Chicago with her husband, two cats and various artistic endeavors which are beginning to take up way too much space in her house and hard drive. Visit her blog atjensaysanything.blogspot.com.