Top Ten Reasons the British Lost the Colonies

Courtesy of the Massachusetts Historical Society:
TOP TEN REASONS THE BRITISH LOST THE COLONIES
10. Hard to shoot straight with sissified powdered wig falling in your eyes.
9. Wanted to just lose New Jersey but got carried away.
8. Colonists on steroids.
7. Spent too much time guessing who's gay in the royal family.
6. Their diet: tea and crumpets. Our diet: raw squirrel meat and whiskey.
5. Serious problems with snuff abuse.
4. Lots of painful poking accidents trying to put on those pointy hats
of theirs.
3. We had Batman.
2. Wanted to get first draft choice.
1. Uninspiring battle cry: "Let's win this for our swishy inbred monarch!"