Monthly Archives: October 2011

As you know, Halloween is just around the corner- and everyone’s excited to be somebody else. Recently, at the Michael Jackson Tribute Concert in Wales, Christina Aguilera made headlines- and not in a good way. GONE were the days of “sexy”, “xtina”, “stripped” or “Lady Marmalade”. She disappointed my entire generation (and repelled our current one) with this HORRIBLE outfit:

This is the reason my site is named what it is… WHO LIED TO YOU? Her Stylist, Manager, Boyfriend, Agent, Hair/Makeup team? NO ONE SAID ANYTHING, and let her go up on stage like this?????

Which got me to thinking- MAYBE Christina is such a HUGE fan of Halloween, that she was dressed up early- as a BLONDE SNOOKI!!!! The body is right- a lil, round meatball!

And then I found this pic of Snooki on the beach, and I know that she is going as LIL KIM for Halloween:

I mean, Snooki nails it! The same family of prints, cutouts, sunglasses, body type….

Which got me to thinking about Lil Kim, and what happened to her. And no, not her image battle between Nicki Minaj:

(Kim, you gotta let it go…there is no need to battle. Yes, Nicki took some risks and imitated you, but u gotta remember- you WERE first! I L.O.V.E.D you in the 90’s, and you will not be forgotten, but it’s time. Where have you been?? Nicki is younger, new, fresh, and… it’s a new era. Just remember: “Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery”.)

So back to Kim, and wondering where she went, I found her and her PSF (plastic surgery face):

Which THEN got me to thinking….. she wants to be Joceyln Wildenstein/The Catwoman for Halloween!

Joceyln must REALLY love Halloween, because her costume is (unfortunately) permanent. She must have LOVED that 80’s CBS show “Beauty & the Beast”… Because Ron Perlman was HER Inspiration!

WTF is going on here?! Amazon.com is selling a “Men’s Gay Costume Wig” this Halloween, which shows this cheesy photo version of a guy dressed similar to “The Village People” Cop. The Marketing “genius” that thought this one up is about to get his ass handed to him.

First: Does anyone actually KNOW a gay guy who looks LIKE THIS??? (oh wait, I do… Dumb Straight guys trying to be funny at Halloween parties. We just call them “D-Bags”)

I have lived in LA and West Hollywood for 10 years, and before that, I lived in S.F. I’ve NEVER seen a gay guy look like this. EVER. Looking at this photo, is this how the world thinks all gays look like? A mustache, glasses, disco shirt, big hair… and TOUCHING HIMSELF?? WHAT GENERATION ARE YOU LIVING IN???? ONLY THE “COP” FROM “THE VILLAGE PEOPLE” from the 70’S looked like this! THIS IS 2011!!!!

So tell me: would it be right that if AMAZON was to sell a “straight guy’s costume”; that it consists of the following???

“Baggy ill-fitting clothes with bbq stains, crocs with socks, oversized cargo shorts, cheap gas station sunglasses, greasy baseball cap to cover the receding hairline/balding combover that comes with a TV remote, six pack of beer, and an attachable “fat belly”???”

IS THAT A CORRECT ASSUMPTION OF A STRAIGHT MAN???

This outfit/wig is not GAY, It is UGLY. And since we all know that gays wouldn’t be caught DEAD with bad hair, then AMAZON SHOULD KNOW that this is NOT GAY HAIR!!!!!!

Yesterday was the 2nd Annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic, held at L.A.’s Will Rogers State Park. The combination of Polo and Champagne on a sunny day turned LA into the Hamptons. Or at least, the best attempt to be the Hamptons.

The dress code for this event was 1920’s-1930’2; “reminiscent of the original days of Polo”. The Hamptons have done this FOREVER, so the “old-money, old-world -style” know how to dress right. For the most part, this years attendees really made an effort, and got into the spirit of the event. I had a great time, and am DEFINITELY looking forward to next year!

For others- I hope they paid attention, and will come back next year and at least TRY. Here, I will show you CORRECT examples, and HORRIBLE attempts.

This girl ROCKED it. The bright and large hat, the light pleated full skirt, the vintage looking shoes, and small bag. PERFECTION. I loved her! (So did most guys, who couldn’t stop staring at her).

This girl also looked great. The oversized hat was perfect, small bag, and wedges. The sundress is a little “now”, but she gets an A for effort for sure!

Now take a look here. The 2 girls on the left: appropriate hats. The red Felt hat, the black with feathers…. and then this girl on the right: wearing a WOVEN STRAW CHINESE/VIETNAMESE HAT. How the hell does that make sense at a 1930’s themed Polo match??? NOPE, it DOESN’T.

This girl CLEARLY has no idea how to dress for Polo, let alone DAYTIME. Just because she threw on a hat doesn’t mean she’s “in” with the style. She was wearing a FULL ON SEE-THROUGH “dress” that looked like bedroom attire!!! Was she trying to go for the “VILLAGE SL*T” look? If so, then she nailed it.

These 2 women are also confused. The one on the left is dressed like a social- climber for a Beverly Hills “luncheon tea party” in a flowy maxi halter with crystals. Sure she may look “nice”, but how is this POLO wear? This is, again, an example of Countess LuAnne’s song “Money can’t buy you class”. Look at her cheap-looking friend in a SKIN-TIGHT dress with a keyhole detail showing off her lower back tattoo! Wow, really classy… ps: they are about 40years old. NOT APPROPRIATE.

When it comes to correct footwear for the ladies, you SHOULD know, that when it comes to grass- you wear WEDGES, NOT HEELS. Look at this photo- THEY ARE ALL SUNK INTO THE DIRT! This is how your shoes get ruined! (not that these girls had to worry- they were definitely NOT Louboutins)! Clearly, they have never been to a daytime wedding, or an estate luncheon. NO HEELS IN THE GRASS!!!!!!

This guy had THE BEST outfit on BY FAR. The wingtip oxfords, with the high socks, cropped/tucked pants, fitted vest over his button-down, and a great argyle tie (unfortunately can’t be seen in this shot). He was even playing badminton. Perfect.

The Sweater Boys! I loved these guys who sat next to us- the all had on button downs, with collegiate-style sweaters tied over their shoulders. Their shirts were tucked in, and wore wingtips and loafers. This crew was VERY Hamptons.

Even this little kid was dressed up! So cute…(awwww). Apparently, his parents are ON TOP OF IT when it come to the “appropriateness” of themed dress. A gingham Ralph Lauren button down, (with sleeves cuffed!) and a bowtie?? Perfect!

Here are 2 jerks who didn’t care at all what they looked like for the event (and probably everyday as well, looking at this). The guy on the left- JEANS??? The guy on the right- ill fitted polo, baggy shorts, and FLIP FLOPS??? Really guys- you couldn’t STEP IT UP for just ONE afternoon??? This is a Sunday Polo Match- not a football bbq. And not any Polo Match: The 2nd Annual Veuve Cliquot Polo Classic!!! Next year, the dress code should be more strict: I would DENY these 2 guys entry!

This guy missed the mark COMPLETELY!!!! He is dressed for a SAILING REGATTA! There is NO WATER here! Blue & white striped sweater with red shorts is NAUTICAL- NOT POLO!!! Get your themes straight before leaving the house next time…

AND NOW FOR THE WORST MOMENT I WITNESSED AT THIS EVENT:

These 3 “women”… I called them FAKES, pulled out cheap champagne from their backpacks and were drinking this, instead of the (always amazing) Veuve, which is PLENTIFUL at the event!!! Why may you ask? Because they didn’t want to pay for the expensive champagne…. We overheard these ladies BRAGGING that they “shoved it deep in their backpack, so it wouldn’t be found if searched, and [that they brought] a cheap bottle in case it was taken away.” SIGHHHH…….

There was a simple rule for this event- no outside liquor. Clearly, since the event is SPONSORED by VEUVE , the only alcohol available was Veuve (no problem with that!) Sure the prices were double what you could get in the grocery store (bottles: Yellow was $90, Rose was $110) but IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, THEN YOU SHOULDN’T BE THERE!!!! If you’re trying to live a lifestyle above your means, then STOP. You are just an EMBARRASSMENT to yourself!

I love that a woman next to me saw this happening and said, “that is SACRILEGE!”

Since Halloween is BY FAR, my most FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER, I’m going to start this wonderful month of October with an appropriate theme: COSTUMES!!

I just read about this year’s first (… already?) “offensive” outfit. She is Anna Rexia, and was offered at Ricky’s (www.rickyshalloween.com). It is a short “dress” with a silk-screen glittery skeleton print. It comes with a “tape measure belt” to put around your waist.

Now, there are certain OVERREACTING GROUPS ( William Walters, coordinator at the National Eating Disorders Association)
talking about how “this is damaging to people, and making light of people battling a disease”… So much so, that it is PULLED OFF the website, and no longer available to purchase!

First: I have no problem with this costume. This is GREAT! For all girls who are OVERWEIGHT- they can pretend that for one night- they are skinny!! For all those girls UNDERWEIGHT- they’ll see how skinny they are, and realize they need to eat. Both parties will have friends, family, or peers that will tell those girls they need to do something about their health- EITHER EAT MORE, OR, STOP EATING! This costume is like a little “kick in the ass” for those struggling with weight issues, right?

Secondly, as we all know, HALLOWEEN IS MEANT FOR GIRLS TO DRESS LIKE SLUTS/HOES, ETC!!! Even in the film “Mean Girls” they say “it’s the one day a girl can dress up like a slut and no girl can talk about it”. It’s true. Every costume for women is “SEXY nurse”, “SEXY pirate”, “SEXY officer”, etc, RIGHT??? So where have the Woman’s Rights groups been??? Why are THEY not protesting against EVERY OTHER costume that’s out there?

They’re not, because THEY TOO want to dress up like a hooker, get drunk, and go to a party and meet someone.

The only person who has this problem is this “William Walters” guy- so i guess he’s either a chubby-chaser, a Republican from middle America, or a crazy “born-again” Christian??? Maybe he’s a catholic priest, (but that shouldn’t matter anyway… he would like little boys). The REALLY sad part of this story: I’ve already got my costume figured out!!! Too bad, because if I had bought “Anna Rexia” I could have dressed up, and sent William Walters a SCRAPBOOK of my Halloween night!! 🙂