I am a college senior at George Washington University studying English and political science. In this space you'll find occasionally thoughtful and rarely witty musings on current affairs, political goings-on, and the glories and peculiarities of American culture, in the service of individual liberty, reason, limited government, and the perpetual war of ideas.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bill O'Reilly, Stalinist

Chalk it up to an early St. Patrick's Day shindig. On last Wednesday's taping, Fox's answer to Lou "Dey Took Ar Jobs" Dobbs invited Cato polymath Dan Griswold for another few rounds on immigration policy. Things were plodding along. O'Reilly once again refuted Griswold's case with the breathtaking analytical argument that "we gotta do something about this", his sermon responsibly tempered in rhetoric ("the hordes", for future viewers, referring to 'those people'). Griswold diligently faked respect, clinging to frivolous points about basic economic truth and the political process and the rule of law. Whatever that all means. It was almost over, and then came this:

O'REILLY: "And unless you put stringent...(inaudible)...And you go to any country in the world, and you watch how they do it, it's doable. Nobody gets into North Korea...(inaudible)....alright? They watch that border. They seal that border so that you don't get in there. And the same thing in Bosnia, and the same thing in those chaotic Bal...Bal..."

Balkans. Yes, THE Balkans. I'm giving myself dandruff scratching my head as to why, if "any country in the world" has adopted a more "doable" immigration policy than ours, O'Reilly came off the top of his head with the world's most brutal police state as an enviable case. It could be that O'Reilly loathes foreign illegals slightly more than Stalinism. I guess it is these particular immigrants who make for a perfect national security panic, because after all, 11 of the 13 9/11 hijackers...oh, nevermind, wrong glib retort. What I meant was, dey took ar jobs. But I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt on this, so that I'll assume instead that Bill O'Reilly simply hasn't the faintest idea of what he thinks should be done about immigration policy - beyond his clear endorsement of ''something".

I wonder if Cato wouldn't be better served by a simple public-relations overhaul. From here on, standard-bearing intellectuals like Griswold ( for neophytes, that's under "pinheads" in the O'Reilly glossary) ought to try to belch more in public, lead off with a trite insult in any debate, and always, always, contrast the United States to North Korea when the former's policies are somehow disagreeable.