Larry: “It has better visibility, and the center of gravity is more evenly distributed, so it turns equally well in either direction.”

Mabel: “But…”

Larry: “We can trade in our old RZR and almost break even!”

Mabel: “Okay, but where are you going to sit?”

The concept of a single-seat sport UTV is practical, obvious and probably inevitable. But, it might spell the end of the American family unit and civilization itself.

The conversation could go a number of other ways:

Larry: “Honey, did you see this? It’s called the RS1. It’s a single-seater, but the seat is perfectly centered. This would be so much more precise. Think of how much better it would be in the rocks; the driver can stick his head out of either side and see his exact wheel placement.”

Mabel: “His head, huh? I think it’s a great idea. And I’ve got the perfect place for the key. It can go on the same ring as my new Lexus.”

Or:

Larry: “Hey, honey, when I was a kid, my brother and I had to share a mini bike. We would go riding and take turns, which sounds like a hassle, but it turned out to be a great bonding experience. We became closer than ever because of that mini bike. I was thinking, maybe you and I could do that with a new RS1.”

Mabel: “Is this the same brother who stole your skateboard and your first girlfriend? Is this the same brother whom you haven’t spoken with since he sued you over your parents’ estate?”

Larry: “He sent a Christmas card two years ago.”

Mabel: “Maybe you can share an RS1 with him.”

Or:

Larry: “Hey, honey, I’ve noticed that you don’t come out that often with me in the RZR anymore. Instead of a new UTV this year, maybe we should get one of those new single-seat RS1s. We could take the money we save and spend it on a nice vacation together.”

Mabel: “I don’t come out that often because you removed the passenger seat last year when you converted it into a race car. And, oh yeah, I’ve already booked a vacation in Aruba—for one.”

Or:

Larry: “Honey, my buddy Phil just got one of those new RS1s. It’s just amazing. He’s driving that thing so well compared to his old two-seater. I had a hard time keeping up with him on those narrow trails up in the mountains last week. It seems like he’s just barely grazing the trees that stop me completely. Single-seaters just seem so much more practical.”

Mabel: “Remind me again, what happened to Phil’s last RZR?”

Larry: “His ex-wife got a court order to saw it in half after the divorce. But he got the driver side.”

Mabel: “That’s so mean. To the RZR, I mean. She should have sawed Phil in half. Single-seater, indeed!”

Or, the best-case scenario:

Larry: “Hey, honey, did you see this? It’s called the RS1, and it’s faster, lighter and better than our old UTV. There’s just one problem, though. Only one seat.”