ULTIMATE ENGLISHMAN SCRIPT
SCENE 1
Hi! I’m Fran Grylls, the Ultimate Englishman and in this edition I’m going to
show us one of the most dangerous countries in the world, a place where the animal
don’t kill the people, the animals are killed by the own people. Yes dude! We’re in the
same country than the best football team actually, a place where the risk is next to
you all the time. Ladies and gentleman, I’m so glad to introduce you to the Ultimate
Englishman, today Spain.
Spain is a country situated on the Iberian Peninsula, is one of the biggest
countries in Europe, bigger than our dear UK. It is called commonly ‘’bull skin land’’…
but if you want to know more about Spain, go and see Wikipedia like me. In this
adventure I’m going to be helped by my assistant, is a little bit spoony, but he is a
good person, entering in scene J-Will.
SCENE 2
Right now, I’m in the beginning of our trip and if you see the landscape, you
will see the fantastic beach… Yeah! I know, but I promise you the beach is behind
that skyscrapers and someone told me there’s a big party there, however I won’t go
because I must show you this fabulous place.
The original plan was to show you a typical food, but the typical food is
delicious and all the food has been eaten by someone… so we’re unluckily, next time
I promise you I’ll show you some food, sorry I didn’t want to say that… I wanted to
say let’s see more things.

SCENE 3
All the people here is very helpful, one of the best things here in Spain is the
people is very cooperative, I’m going to show you this, for example, I’m going to fall
on the ground ‘’unconscious’’ and I’ll be rescued immediately boy the great Spanish
people. (…)
Ok, three hours later and noone has helped me so let’s back to the hotel, JWill, did you see my pocket and my mobile phone?
- Fran, a person called Nadie has caught your things to go to ask for help.
- A person called Nadie?
- Yes, and your ring has been fetched for him too.
- You’re a completely Mot………
Ok after go to the police station to report to Nadie, the policeman has
explained me how to go to a place called Mordor, I’ll go there tomorrow, but now I’m
back to the hotel where I’m going to show you a typical Spanish music group called
Camela, right now the song which is playing is ‘’Sueño Contigo’’ or something else.
Enjoy it!
SCENE 4
New day, new activities, today I’m going to show you a typical animal and I
hope to touch it.
Look there, there’s a good example of animal, I’m not sure about what it is , I
think is a kind of donkey or something similar, I’ll try to touch it.
- Don’t do that, it can be dangerous
- Come on! Don’t be a coward, look how the donkey likes being touched by
me, you can see the funny face, I’ll try to ride it.
Ok, in this moment the ambulance has taken me back to the hotel, I have got
bruises around all my body, next time I promise I will listen to my support team.

SCENE 5
Today we are going to learn some Spanish language, this language has been
mother tongue of great artist and writers like Lope de Vega Or ‘’Chiquito de la
Calzada’’. Spanish has got a lot of beautiful words, and the people are very friendly
and open, now I’m going to talk Spanish with that man.
In the ambulance again, the driver said I’m his favorite patient, now I
understand why the person who told me all about the Spanish ways was laughing all
the time .

SCENE 6
Surprise, I’m not in the ambulance, I’m in the hospital, the doctor has placed
me in a special suite only for me, I overheard him ‘’lo hago por pena’’ I think that
means I’m his idol. At last my hard work is rewarded, simply awesome.
After three months, my wounds were finally healed by the doctors, the
doctors has explained me that has been a miracle that I could walk another time. I
feel like a new person, I hope you liked this documentary because is the last about
Spain, I hate all about this. I’m back to my dear UK, see you in hell Spain.