Dan Savage and his partner shot the first It Gets Better Project video in their Seattle home. It turned out poorly - too much about their bad experiences as teens, not enough about their good times as adults - so they brought the camera and sound gear to a local bar and tried again, focusing on their joys as a couple raising a preteen son.

Then they uploaded the message on YouTube and waited.

"Honest to God, we put up our video and thought 'Are we going to be the only ones?' " Savage, 46, said by phone.

Two and a half weeks later, the author and sex advice columnist's online experiment is a phenomenon, thanks in part to a bit of tragic timing: The high-profile suicides of several gay teens, particularly 18-year-old Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who killed himself after a voyeuristic video of an intimate encounter in his dorm room was allegedly made by his roommate and broadcast online. Clementi, a promising young violinist, apparently sought advice from a gay-themed online chat site after his date was cybercast and reportedly told his dorm's resident adviser about the incident. But none of that was enough to keep him from jumping to his death from the George Washington Bridge.

Focusing just on teenagers

While Clementi's suicide has evoked a flurry of media chatter about online bullying in general, the focus of the It Gets Better Project is specifically on gay teens.

Savage and Terry Miller's original 8 1/2-minute video, a message to gay teens who might be feeling discouraged or suicidal, has been followed by hundreds more, made by gay men and women of all races, religions and levels of celebrity. Savage said the success is prompting him to set up a website - by the beginning of this week, the It Gets Better Project had reached its YouTube channel limit of 650 favorited videos. (The channel is still accepting uploads for the project.)

Savage said the idea for the project occurred to him much earlier, after hearing about some less widely reported suicides. While it might be easier to be young and out near big cities, bullying and victimization are getting worse in suburbs and rural areas, Savage said.

"Every time I heard about a gay teenager dying, I thought, 'I wish I could have talked to that kid for five minutes, to tell him it gets better,' " Savage said. "I get invitations to talk at colleges all the time. But I would never get an invitation to speak at a high school. I would never get permission to talk to a gay 13-year-old boy about how great it can be to live as an openly gay adult. And then I thought, 'Why am I waiting for permission, or an invitation, when there's YouTube?' "

The response was slow at first, but has increased exponentially in the past week. "Glee" actor Chris Colfer, "Project Runway" host Tim Gunn, and "Star Trek" star Zachary Quinto have contributed. Locally, the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus produced a video, and state Sen. Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, showed up in another.

Leno's cameo appeared in a video produced by San Francisco journalist and Stop8.org founder Matt Baume, who sent out an open invitation on Facebook and ended up shooting hours of It Gets Better footage with a San Francisco theme. His three-minute, montage-style video already has more than 75,000 views, and he hopes to use the remaining footage for a more detailed film.

Baume said he was first drawn to the simplicity of Savage's message.

"He found three words that really effectively articulate what it is to have made it through a very difficult time," Baume said. "That's what I think makes it so strong and why it resonates with so many people. It's a very familiar feeling. These are words that I think we would have appreciated (hearing) ourselves."

Site's growing pains

Savage said he is thrilled by the volume and diversity of the contributions. But the project is already feeling growing pains. The writer has been contacted by school administrators, who are hesitant to use the site as a teaching tool because a few videos have a risque tone or contain sexual themes. Among other contributors, transsexual adult film star Buck Angel contributes a very touching (and arguably PG-rated) segment.

"I made it, and you can make it too," Angel said, choking back tears. "There's so much help out there today for you guys."

Savage said he would have done a few things differently, starting with his complexion. ("If I had known so many young people were going to watch it - 600,000 times at this point - I would have had better lighting and worn some makeup.") He is also worried that too many participants are repeating his initial mistake, presenting a laundry list of suffering, ending with a quick "It gets better" and a goodbye.

But Savage, whose sex advice column "Savage Love" appears in SF Weekly and the East Bay Express, said he thinks the website will solve a lot of problems, allowing for categorical searches so young gay viewers can find someone who speaks to their specific situation. Among other contributors, there is a video from a Muslim man, and multiple messages from gay men and women with Mormon upbringings.

No easy resolutions

Savage said he doesn't intend to steal the thunder from more established programs. When supporters offer donations, he refers them to the Trevor Project, which provides a suicide hot line and other services for gay teens.

"I've gotten some criticisms that these videos don't solve the problems for a bullied gay kid. And you know what? They don't," Savage said, running down a list of major issues that need to be solved in schools, workplaces and at home. "But we can't get all that stuff done by tomorrow. We can get these videos up today."

Online

Rally tonight

Affirmation: Gay & Lesbian Mormons is planning a Stand Up to Youth Suicide rally and march at 6:30 tonight at the San Francisco Civic Center, followed by a candlelight march to Harvey Milk Plaza at Market and Castro streets. Find more information at www.affirmation.org.