Post-Valentine-Dreck: LOVERS LANE

Oh damn, look at the cover! Look at that super-lame semi-"Scream"-ripoff artwork. Blech, welcome to the year 2000 where several filmmakers still thought,it's le dernier cri to shoot over-polished highschool slashers with teens and blood and nothing else.

"Lovers Lane" is a dumb and completely forgettable post-90s slasher flick that offers absolutely nothing of interest. The basic premise is actually pretty good: hook-handed killer (based on the infamous urban legend) kills teenagers on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, the director and the writers were totally unable to turn this simple but effective premise into something worthwhile.

The movie plods along at snail's pace without any tension, suspense or atmosphere. The acting is mostly weak and none of the characters are likable in any way. The killer is so incredibly unscary, it's shocking, the kills are unimpressive and the far-fetched storyline consists of sooo many implausible plot twists, it makes you wanna choke the screenwriters until unconsciouness.

Worst of all: the ending, THE ENDING!! Gaah, two killers (how original...), annoying actors stumbling around somewhere in the sticks, boredom to the max, nothing makes any sense - and then in the epilogue, there's suddenly a third killer.O RLY???

At least, there's lots of pretty cool-looking blood, some nice nudity, 1 or 2 mildly tense scenes and a surprisingly eerie score from a guy called BC Smith,who's mostly doing music for Barbie movies.

yeah, and that's exactly what's so terrible about it. First they wanna make us believe that it's the escaped patient. Then in the end, it's not the patient, but two completely different people. And then in the epilogue, it's the patient again... WTF??

Hi, I'm MAYNARD MORRISSEY, a movie-geek from AUSTRIA (Europe) who loves to watch anything horror-related (as well as all kinds of Science Fiction, Action, Arthouse and Non-Horror stuff) and enjoys to write VERY honest reviews in mediocre Englishsince 2009.

[Warning: There may be SPOILERS and/or disturbing images of sex and violence!]Oh btw: I'm obsessed with Imdb. DVD is my Vinyl. I hate CGI - but I love cats. And boobs :)