What's Your Ideal Hamburger?

One of my friends -- we'll call him the esteemed Dr. Niles -- recently posted a question on Facebook that had a bunch of people talking. The question goes, "your ideal hamburger... what's on it? how's it cooked? bun type?... go!!"

Naturally, few can resist this type of inquiry. What is an ideal burger? Is it a thick, chefy concoction with braised short ribs and truffles? Or is it a simple griddle-cooked patty, topped with only ketchup and mustard? The answers some people gave are as varied as they are interesting. Among the highlights: