Here's where I put my creations on display

Felt it in my stomach: Reflections on España

Last Saturday my ring popped. According to Instagram, I
finished it on May 1 - a month and ten days old. I felt it in my stomach. Anxiety
that I made a faulty product. Worry that I’m going around telling people about
my jewellery that doesn’t even last a month.

Then the rest of my brain kicked in.

I felt the ring on my pinky that I’ve been wearing since
January (at least). I remembered the ones in my jewellery box that I’ve had since I started beading. I told myself to calm down. The ring that popped was an
experiment. I decided to try a different thread and I used beads that my host
mother gave me. The beads were bugle beads, which are longer and tend to have a
rougher edge. Most beaders suggest that you use seed beads to buffer the bugle
beads because the bugles wear down the thread faster. I learned that this is
true so I’ll do things differently the next time.

I truly enjoyed wearing the ring and seeing it on my finger.
I’m happy that I made it.

Three Fridays ago I crossed the Atlantic for the second time
in my life. I felt it in my stomach. Excitement that I was going to see my
friends at school. Relief that I would understand all the signs because they
are written in my native language. Concern that my relationships with people
would be different. Doubt about my decision to leave in the first place.

Then the rest of my brain kicked in.

I had been in this situation before. I did boarding school.
I go to a university overseas. Just because this time I was in Europe doesn’t
change the fact that many of the people I care about don’t live near me. I knew
that I wanted to go to Spain. In the archives as far back as 2014,
I’ve said that I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. And there was no way I would
change the people I met, food I ate, mistakes I made and things I learned
during that semester. It was an experiment. I decided to go outside of my
university environment, to go 3600 miles away from my yard, to make a fool of
myself so that I could learn more Spanish and to go to southern Spain and have
fun.

I remembered that I am a homebody, that I like getting lost
(but only once I know how to find my way back), that I can’t go too long
without My People around me, and that I really and truly love my belly. I’m
thankful for my time in Spain.

Tl;dr: I’m back and
thinking of ways to think about my time in Spain and what it meant to me. Also,
one of my rings broke.