You sicken me

Published April 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

You sicken me with the fact that you now have my best friend believing in your stupid, sick, blasphemous crap you call a religion! I can tell you what it really is, BLASPHEMOUS, MADE DURING A DRUG BINGE, IDOLATRY THAT WILL HAVE YOU BURNING IN HELL OR ON THE TABLE AFTER THE LAST WAR!!!! I am furious about the fact that there is a religion DEVOTED to SIN OF ALL THINGS! If you don’t change you and all your followers will be in a special place in hell just for IDOL WORSHIPPING, SIN LOVERS LIKE YOURSELF!!! You disgust me and I hope you see the truth before it’s too late.

Antipastifarian,

Chance

I need more information on this “special place” in hell you refer to – will there be cake?

Someone hasn’t bothered reading the “About” tab. Nowhere in there does it say that we’re devoted to sin. Admittedly, the part about beer and the stripper comments sprinkled throughout the website could be construed in such a manner, but a lot of Christians drink beer. As for strippers, what’s wrong with strippers? The pure, textbook definition of the stripper is only that they take off their clothes for money. Sure, some of them might also work as prostitutes on the side, but who do you think are the majority of people who pay for that?

Just so it doesn’t appear that I’m just taking potshots at Christians: what do you think those Islamic martyrs planned on doing with those seventy-two virgins, hm? I don’t think they’re gonna point them to the kitchen and say “Make me a sammich!”

1) The Bible never says what God looks like. The Christian, Jewish, and Muslim god could be a giant flying spaghetti monster. The generally known image of what god looks like is based on Zeus, the greek leader god.
2) The Bible mentions Jesus turning water into alcohol.
3) The beginning of the Bible mentions naked people tons of times, and they could have been midgets the whole time.
4) Moses had bad eyesight, and instead of a burning bush saw the FSM.
5) Jesus’s only girlfriend was a hooker.
6) If you don’t like us, you can go back to your old religion guilt-free.
7) We don’t have Ten Commandments. We only have Ten I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts, two of which were destroyed.
8) Christianity is an off-branch of Judeaism, Islam and Mormon are off-branches of Christianity, and Pastafarianism is, in a way, an off-branch of Christianity, only this is way more awesome.
9) How else do you explain global warming?
10) We don’t have Hell. We only get thirty minutes to an hour in the Boiling Pot.

Sorry. Got to go. Mom is making me go to a pool party. That’s right, I’m a child. 13. Bye!

How dare someone make fun of Christian religion! It has been around for thousands of years and millions of people have died because they didnt believe in it. Religous beliefs can only be earned after you kill as many non believers you can. Fortunately, we dont believe in killing people to convert. We only accept people who actually can think for themselves.

C’mon, tell the truth, you came here to read about the story of The Flying Spaghetti Monster and you liked it too.
But you can’t accept we are nice normal people, because they told you that the 66% of the world population who is not christian must be evil, on drugs or perverted, right?

Ok, I admit it: I drug myself with chocolate ice cream sometimes, but I’m trying to quit.
I also love kittens, hamsters and bunnies, but as they don’t have a soul, they are evil and I’m probably perverted for this reason, right?

WHEN YOU HATE SOMEONE, YOU HATE A PART OF YOURSELF YOU DON’T LIKE. AND YOU ARE FULL OF HATE.

Swaggart keeps tryin’ ta board me! Only 4 payments left on me boat an’ the fundie preachers keep stowin’ away in the night and sneakin’ off with me working girls and scratchin’ the keel! He was lookin fer a noodly appendage, said he ‘eard it was aft about…