hello everyone... please tell me what to do... my girl will be 3 in May this year. I know it's her age of exploration but due to this I keep on telling her... no mithu ye nai lena, ye mat kro, vaha mat jao etc. sometimes I think what kind of impression this would be leading to her thoughts.... M I becoming a villain in her mind.... worried... plz help

The word 'no' is an automatic response to any activity that we feel is inappropriate. It's something that comes out naturally but if we are mindful of it, we can try to reduce its usage. Say the same thing in positive words. For eg- instead of saying dont do this say let's do this(diverting her attention to another activity). Don't go there can change to please come here. The child may not listen to you immediately but you will surely feed her mind with some positive phrases.

Sonali Rana You made a very good point! This is something many parents don't even think about. So, Congratulations for taking the first step! Here's what you can do to correct your behaviour. Yes, positive affirmations are important. It influences the way your child thinks. So instead of saying, Don't touch this, why don't you say - Try this instead (offering an option). Instead of saying "Hurry up, finish fast." Say - "I can see you are trying hard and you are doing better than yesterday." Instead of saying - "Don't jump and run on the road." Say - "I know you love running and it's so good for your health. But on the road, we must be safe so why don't you hold my hand and run. I will run with you too!" From next time onwards, no nagging, long lectures. Just say "Careful". And don't pick on everything. Let her do things which are silly but not dangerous. Reserve your NO for rare incidents which makes it powerful and she will respect it too. Example - My daughter wears my heel shoes and plays every evening. Everyone asks me why do I allow, she will trip and fall. But I tell everyone that I trust her. Even if she falls, she knows what to do next or to be careful while walking in those shoes. Infact, I now notice that she carries them better than me. Try and read this fantastic book "How to Talk so Kids Listen & How to Listen so Kids Talk"

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