Stupid Things That Would Happen If I Won Powerball

Powerball mania has taken over the country! The jackpot is currently at $900 million dollars. (For whatever reason, I’m reminded of that scene from Austin Powers) Now — lets do some math — after taxes, if you live in the state of California you could walk away with a lump sum of $418,500,000 or 30 payments a year of $22,500,000 for a total of $675,000,000. More money than a majority of folks would see in a lifetime unless you are Oprah.

I’m sure everyone is day dreaming of what to do with all of that money — but more importantly my mind ends up wandering about what stupid things that would happen if I won. Here we go —

Go into work naked — just because I can.

Write a book on the detailed strategies for winning lotteries.

Promise a big trip to a bunch of people and hate it because I actually didn’t like those people.

Probably buy a boat and then hire people to use it because I hate boats.

I would try to Facebook friend other rich people because we would have something to talk about.

Have a ski lift installed from my house in Danville to the top of Squaw

Build a Safeway as an extension of my house so I never have to go grocery shopping ever again

Convert to Judaism so that can have Phish play at my bar mitzvah I never had

I would buy Costco so that I’d never have to excuse myself to get past someone trying to feed their entire family via Costco samples.