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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Happy Birthday to...me {a.k.a. in which I wax nostalgic}

Today is my birthday. I am officially 34 years old. I suppose 34 still feels a bit "safe" as far as that looming much hyped and oft-dreaded big 4-0 on the horizon (and yeah, I know it's not really a long way off.). But still, I have this feeling that I'm getting older. I'm not sure if it's a feeling of physical aging per se (though I'm aware that that is happening), or even acquired wisdom (though I believe I've gotten some of that, too) but more a feeling that I'm entering a different stage of life. I guess I just don't feel "young" anymore, although I don't feel "old" either. I suppose that leaves me somewhere in between, like stage-of-life limbo. I mean, I feel "settled in" as far as my role as wife, mom, stay-at-home mom and homeschooler. And I'm beginning to enter into a new stage of parenting as my oldest (now 6) matures. So, whatever this current stage of life that's hard to put into words actually is (I know this post is a bit of a stumbling bumbling mess...but hey, sometimes that's just me!) , I'm happy with it. This "stagewithoutaname" is a season of growth. A time to grow in knowledge, in experience and into the person the Lord has made me to be.

(my birthday last year)

33 has had it's trials. It was my first "official" year as a homeschooler which was a bit stressful as I experimented and found my footing (because I'm an old pro now ha!). I lost a baby (you can read more about that here). It was my third year since my mom died which brought its own set of emotions (you can read more about that here ) I gained some weight from aforementioned pregnancy which I now need to lose. (You can't read more about that anywhere because it's all just here accumulated in my mid-section and that's not talkin' ha!). But overall I feel I've learned a lot this past year. I believe I'm truly learning more about where I'm headed as a woman, a Christian, a wife, a mom and all of the other hats that I wear.

In short (which is a blessed change from the rest of this rambling post in which I heavily over-use parentheses. Sorry 'bout that by-the-way. It's a bad habit I have no intention of breaking. And now that I'm all wise at the ripe old age of 34 I feel fully justified in standing up for my grammatical bad habits ha-ha. That includes split infinitives and invented punctuation. So there.) I am happy. I'm happy for this life I live, though small it may be. I'm happy for the people who love me and help me grow. I'm happy for this little house I get to call home and for the talents God's given me which I get to use in all kinds of fun ways. I'm happy for this blog where I get to write about whatever's stored up in my brain and I'm happy for all of you who care to read it. Heck, I'm even happy for this body of mine--though heavier it currently is. But that's just life. And that life is mine, and God made it and saw that it was good. And so I celebrate today. I celebrate life. My life. And all of the blessings therein, which are many. So, happy birthday to... me. Oh, and woo-hoo for birthday cake. Best. Invention. Ever.

Wow, you share a birthday with my oldest daughter who turned six on Saturday! So first, happy birthday! Very cool. Second, I understand your unnamed stage of life... I've been feeling it too. I feel so much older than my age... but like you, I'm happy. Comfortable in my skin. Comfortable with the size and shape of my life. Happy just to be living. And sometimes, these kinds of thoughts and feelings need an over abundance of parenthesis, italics, and split infinitives to be expressed properly. I so get that!

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Wife.Homeschooling mom of 4 kids. Catholic. Lover of nature and all things arts and crafts. Book worm. Caffeine addict. Trying my best to honor God, relying on His grace and relishing the wee little miracles of the everyday.