Live With A Lie.

I can no longer do what I am doing, I am lying to myself. My baby isnt going to make it, and the god honest truth is that its my fault. I have been lying to myself to protect myself, I cant do this alone. The doctor says the best thing right now is to abort the baby. I cant believe that I actually have to face this, and face it alone. Maybe this is a punishment or something. I already love this baby, but I know that it wont make it. The heartbeat gets more and more faint each time I go to the doctor. I just dont know anymore. I am scared and alone. Yes I have my sugar daddy but I am only something that looks good on his arm, he doesnt care about me. I have to face the truth. And honestly Stacy is the only reason that I am . Once I lose this baby I dont know how exactly I will react. I hate myself because even the doctor told me the reason is because I was on drugs and because of my withdrawals. I cant live with the fact that its all my fault that this child will not live.

((((Hugs))))<br />Beating yourself up about it though...is not going to help get you free of drugs.<br />I'm really dreadfully sorry this happened, but I don't want you to give up trying to get a handle on your addiction, ok?<br />((((Hugs))))<br />You've had a really rotten life so far.<br />You deserve a better one.

More From People Who Can't Do This Anymore

I can't survive without any social interaction anymore. this isolation is killing me inside. everyone always leaves me sooner or later.
the last thing I had was that website. that's how isolated this shithole place is. the only contact with the outside world I had was a website...

i cant do this anymore...iv tried so hard and yet iv gotten no were...i just cant do it...im breaking down...im a mess of tears and sadness...i cant do it...im at the end of the line...i just...cant...