Wednesday, June 19, 2013

You Set The Bar

Standards, requirements and goals that make sense are justly put forth in anyone's life. The degree to how high or low you set your standards are up to you. Everyone's standards are different and may not all make sense to everyone but the key is to stick to them and don't compromise them for anyone. We all grow and standards change with age, but to completely compromise something you stand firmly by is a huge no-no.

These are 4 things I feel no women should compromise.

Health- Never compromise your physically or mental health. Eat healthy, exercise and do it for healthy reasons not just for vanity. Feeling good is much better then looking good. Go to doctor and dentist regularly, and always practice safe sex. Try your best not to compromise condom use. Mental health is equally as important. Asking for help and seeking therapy or counseling isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of doing all you can to maintain your mental health.

Career- Yes, we all need a means to maintain our well being, but compromising for a career your heart isn't in simply for monetary gain isn't a great decision either. A job full of stress and continuous unhappiness may pay your bills, but it is taking a huge chunk out of your happiness. Find ways to turn your life passion into work, like the saying goes. Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Spirituality/Religion- Most of us have a belief in a higher power, a religion or spiritual belief system that keeps them humble and grounded. Something that invokes hope, and gives them an idea of what the meaning of life is. If your views on these things changes on your own, then fine, but don't let a lover coheres you into another belief or let your job, lover or any other outside influence stomp on your basic religious or spiritual fundamentals. For most this is the base, and core of who you are, so without these essential anchors in your life what will you have?

Family/Companionship- You set the standard on how you should be loved. Be it friends’ family or a lover. You control the measure of how good, and how bad love can make you feel. In essence, you teach people how to treat you, and if they don't meet those standards let them go. It's harder with family but if it must be done, then it must be done. They aren't stopping their hurtful ways for a family member (you) so why should you endure it? Don't let others make you feel guilty about what you require in love relationships either. Things like you're too needy, or you require too much attention aren't things that are going to change overnight, so the people around you should either get with it, or get lost. I recently had a situation like this. I hate being ignored, and I used to think that was my issue alone, that I should fix this issue before I get in a relationship. Nope, not at all, I realized that's one of my requirements, that I need a person to make an effort to show me I'm not being ignored, this is apart of loving me, and if a man loves me he will take this in stride.

These are the four things I will not compromise, and I feel other women shouldn't either. Everyone has different requirements, and standards on their list. What would you add or subtract on your list of requirements. Tell us in a comment below. By: Naima "Queen" Muhammad @TheQueenSpeaks_