From Prague to Paizo in 31 Days

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

One day, not so long ago, a bright-eyed young expat freelancer was shaken from the idylls of his honeymoon with the news that Paizo Publishing, in the far-off, fey-haunted Evergreen State, had decided to add another lost soul to the depths of its editorial pit.

Knowing that such a summons could not go ignored for long, I immediately made arrangements to return to my homeland, kissed my new wife goodbye, and boarded a roc bound for Seattle. After a trying ordeal of canceled flights and missed connections, a harrowing attack by a crag linnorm, and an unexpected stay in Vancouver, I finally arrived on the cobbled streets of Redmond, ready for my first day in the hallowed halls of Paizo Publishing.

Having previously dealt with the famous Golem of Prague, I easily avoided the guardian golems at the gates, and working my way past booby traps, false doors, and nightingale floors, successfully infiltrated the sanctum sanctorum of editorial privilege. Rather than allow myself to be ignominiously thrown in shackles into the editorial pit, I rappelled down using braided ferret-fur rope (world-renowned for its flexibility and tensile strength) and staked my claim in an unoccupied and strangely cube-like side cavern.

Sadly, all my precautions were in vain, as I soon discovered that most of Paizo’s minions had apparently decided to make “Rob’s First Day on the Job” a workshop holiday. No doubt they’re imposing some sort of quarantine on me to avoid whatever virulent European plagues I brought with me. It’s been pretty quiet so far… maybe too quiet. I can sense the grammar ghouls and style sphinxes lurking in the darkness beyond my cave’s walls, waiting to vex me with riddles of usage and voice when I least expect it.

But as the ghosts of forgotten manuscripts and spectres of excess verbiage slain on the altar of editorial fiat howl about me, I remain firm, resolute, and even optimistic. How many stat blocks might I save from disgrace? How many guarded secrets can I pry from the clutching fingers of jealous writers? How many fabulous treasures might I recover from the depths of development hell?

Stay tuned, loyal readers, and I’ll do my best to bring you all the wonders of Golarion and beyond that Paizo has to offer. And not even the blue pencil-wielding troglodytes of punctuation will stop me!