22

16

25.0

27.3

26.2

.619

.638

73.0%

15.0%

88.0%

-3.5%

-2.9%

There is so much that's weird about the Tigers losing to the Astros last night. It's like winning a shopping spree at a toy store when you're seven. You step into the store, the guy yells three… two… one… go! And you just stand there. Because it's just too good.

2

26

14

24.5

25.6

24.6

.590

.609

84.5%

5.4%

89.9%

1.9%

5.7%

The Rangers are 9-2 in one-run games. In a related story, the Orioles would like their lucky Full House: the complete series DVD back (the Orioles have strange talismans).

3

25

15

21.8

20.4

20.3

.556

.575

58.6%

22.6%

81.2%

-2.7%

9.2%

Asked if his location was lacking after his start where he gave up seven runs in two thirds of an inning yesterday, Phil Hughes said no, he just didn't want to miss NBC's Wednesday night lineup.

4

23

17

22.6

23.6

23.1

.553

.573

22.3%

32.0%

54.3%

4.7%

-11.6%

In his last 10 games Dustin Pedroia is hitting .475. I'd give you his on-base and slugging but when you hit .475, .475 is enough information.

5

22

17

22.1

23.2

22.8

.539

.559

18.7%

26.5%

45.2%

6.9%

6.7%

Yesterday marked the fifth time the Indians have scored 10 or more runs this season. They have scored 35 percent of their runs in those five games.

26

13

25.3

23.5

23.5

.575

.556

43.8%

33.4%

77.2%

2.1%

14.7%

24

16

24.3

23.6

22.8

.573

.553

43.8%

34.9%

78.7%

2.7%

9.2%

The Reds brought their full squad down to Florida to play the Marlins who used mostly a Triple-A lineup to... what? Spring training is over? Ha ha! No way! Have you seen the Marlins lineup?

8

20

19

20.1

20.7

21.7

.530

.550

13.3%

24.8%

38.1%

-3.5%

13.0%

The Rays now have a guy in the stands dressed in a robin’s egg blue and yellow Roman legion outfit who hits a gong when they win. This is why the terrorists hate us.

9

23

17

22.7

22.0

21.7

.514

.534

4.8%

17.4%

22.2%

-4.1%

-7.2%

The White House announced today that the world's supply of awesomeness is in a state of severe decline. This makes Manny Machado that much more impressive.

10

22

18

23.0

22.9

22.5

.541

.521

47.6%

16.3%

63.9%

-2.5%

-7.5%

B.J. Upton is hitting .145/.242/.244 and striking out in a third of his plate appearances. Is it time to start counting down the clock on that contract yet?

11

20

22

21.0

20.7

20.3

.499

.519

7.2%

12.2%

19.5%

-4.4%

-12.3%

Remember last season when everything seemed to go right for the A's? This year not so much. They're the baseball team equivalent of The Phantom Menace. If you see Jar-Jar Binks come out to pinch hit, run for your lives.

12

20

17

20.3

17.6

18.0

.496

.516

6.2%

15.5%

21.7%

4.4%

-2.4%

Alex Gordon walked! National nightmare etc.

13

23

18

22.6

21.3

21.9

.530

.510

32.7%

17.9%

50.6%

3.9%

-3.9%

My Eric Chavez Injury Clock is about to strike midnight. Because it’s midnight. Eric Chavez doesn’t need a clock to tell him when he can get hurt.

14

19

21

18.7

20.6

20.6

.486

.506

3.7%

6.9%

10.6%

2.1%

2.2%

Last season Raul Ibanez had a .761 OPS for New York. This season with Seattle it was .714. Two Yankee Stadium homers later it's .798. So, what is the difference between last year's Raul Ibanez and this year's? I’ll Yankee Stadium you one guess.

15

23

17

20.7

20.8

21.2

.525

.505

31.3%

15.1%

46.3%

-5.6%

-3.0%

How bad has Ryan Vogelsong been? He gave up eight runs in two innings and his ERA only went up a quarter of a run.

16

15

25

15.9

17.8

17.5

.482

.502

4.5%

11.8%

16.3%

-3.3%

-0.6%

MIke Trout has six homers and is hitting .358/.426/.792 this month. Bryce Harper tried to eat a wall. Just say'n.

17

23

17

21.5

20.9

21.3

.520

.500

10.0%

27.1%

37.1%

2.2%

6.2%

Where would the Bucs be without Jason Grilli and his Ninth Inning Grilled Cheese Sandwich of Death? Roughly where they are now, you say? Yeah, that's about right.

18

21

19

22.1

23.6

23.0

.512

.492

8.3%

8.7%

17.0%

-2.5%

-7.9%

Not sure what is stranger, that John Garland is pitching for the Rockies at all or that he's not been that bad.

19

17

22

16.0

18.7

18.4

.512

.492

24.8%

14.5%

39.3%

1.8%

6.7%

Zack Greinke came back to repeated “Zack Is Back” headlines, which garnered an eight, an 8.5, a nine, and an 7.5 from the Romanian judge in the Painfully Obvious Headlines competition.

20

21

19

18.5

19.0

19.3

.511

.491

43.4%

13.8%

57.1%

-3.0%

-0.6%

If you don't count the Marlins, and really why should you, the Nationals have scored the second fewest runs in the National League, just ahead of the Dodgers.

21

17

21

17.6

17.5

17.4

.464

.484

1.8%

5.4%

7.1%

1.3%

0.7%

Two homers and a double later, Adam Dunn is now hitting .156/.255/.391. Not good, but even worse, the two homers make a "Three bad outcomes" joke impossible.

22

17

24

17.0

15.3

16.6

.453

.473

1.0%

3.6%

4.6%

0.9%

-0.1%

Colby Rasmus’s strikeout rate is 41 percent, which is bad, but it could be worse. It could be his score on the final exam or his blood/alcohol level.

23

17

23

19.2

21.0

21.2

.490

.470

1.6%

5.7%

7.3%

1.9%

1.6%

In a passive aggressive attempt to make everyone look bad by comparison, Jeff Samardzija homered and threw eight innings of two run ball.

24

18

19

18.6

17.0

18.0

.444

.464

0.3%

0.9%

1.3%

-0.6%

-0.6%

Of his 51 hits on the season, 33 have been singles making Joe Mauer a singles machine. His wife will be happy to know that.

25

16

22

16.6

17.9

18.9

.468

.448

0.9%

5.0%

5.8%

-0.5%

-3.3%

Juan Segura struck out three times because I wrote something nice about him on Twitter yesterday. Also my team won because I sat on the left side of the couch. Your take-away points from this comment: 1) fans matter, and 2) put that bobble-head back on the shelf what are you trying to do here COME ON!

26

18

21

17.6

16.8

17.1

.458

.438

2.9%

2.4%

5.4%

0.6%

-1.5%

Kyle Blanks had one hit, which thankfully puts us one hit further away from Blanks quitting baseball and opening up his own in vitro fertilization clinic.

27

19

22

17.4

17.5

17.4

.456

.436

6.3%

3.2%

9.5%

-0.8%

-3.5%

Michael Young, Delmon Young, and now Carlos Zambrano; baseball is using the Phillies the way Great Britain used Australia in the 18th century.

28

14

23

15.8

15.0

14.7

.443

.424

2.8%

1.9%

4.6%

-0.2%

-7.2%

The Mets have lost six in a row. Clearly this is A-Rod's fault. Osmosis or something.

29

11

30

12.4

10.8

12.5

.335

.353

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

The Astros beat the Tigers in the ninth inning on the road. It’s not getting better than that. We're going out on high note. Pack it in, gentlemen, we’ll see you next year.

30

11

29

12.4

11.3

11.0

.345

.327

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-0.0%

The Reds had 11 hits. The Marlins had 11 hits. The Reds scored four runs. The Marlins scored no runs. Unfair!