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Sunday, May 25, 2008

The bearable likeness of being

I'm going to ask you to bear with me now as I launch off on another series of me Photoshopping my face on things. It amuses me if no one else. Actually my 19-month old daughter seems to be getting a kick out of it. Every now and then she toddles by, points at the screen and says, "DaDa!" I love how she just accepts it as me and doesn't judge.

We all could learn a lot from toddlers. Well, except for attention spans. They pretty much don't have any. But that does make them a perfect focus group for what works on the Web.

But I digress.

I think if there was a Guinness record for Photoshopping your face on things I'd have it hands down. I pretty much will try to Photoshop my face on anything. I am willing to bet I am the only one who has ever Photoshopped their face on whale vomit. There is a certain distinction in that. The only thing that has really stumped me so far is trying to Photoshop my face on an elephant. Some day I'll figure that out, too.

I don't apologize for grafting my face to things. It is a harmless diversion. Though one person did get pretty ticked off when I put my face on a Picasso painting. They seemed to think I was defacing fine art. I actually thought I was making them my own. Regardless, I didn't feel bad that the person was offended. I was more offended that they were offended. I was nice about it at the time. I shrugged when I really wanted to flip them the virtual finger and tell them to go darken the towels at someone else's blog.

That person eventually stopped dropping by anyway. Most people do. I suppose there is only so much interest anyone can have in a blog essentially dedicated to Photoshopping the blogger's face on things. Though I like to think I slip in a little philosophy and off color humor in there now and then to spice things up.

Wait, I just told my daughter to take the Swiffer Dust Wand she is running around with and dust the cat. I want to see how it plays out. Just a second. I'll be right back.

Okay, that wasn't quite the good idea I thought it was. Oh well, we have other cats. Anyway, as I was saying, it is hard to maintain a high interest level on any blog unless you mix things up now and then. That's why I go back and forth between nasty rants, heart tugging reminiscences about my childhood and just plain old brain farts. Rest assured that the one thing that remains consistent about my blog is my face. Somethings may not be pretty but they bear repeating.

Pages that explain it all

A Portrait of Time

I am an aged blogger. I almost said middle aged blogger, but that would imply that I will live well past 100 (which I have no intention of doing). I have been blogging for almost 15 years and have yet to be discovered. But it is only a matter of time until I become the next Internet sensation and then fade quickly back into obscurity after my 15 seconds of fame (especially when everyone discovers my age). I was almost discovered in 2006 (the year in which I wrote my best posts), but all of my regular readers apparently found the right medication levels and abandoned me. I am not bitter, though. Despite my persistent lack of success I doggedly continue to write.

Copyright (Thou shalt not steal)

Dizgraceland and all content are copyright 2004, 2005,2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017 (which sucked), 2018, 2019 and now 2020 (I've been doing this for a really long time). All content and images are the property of the blog author and may not be copied or altered without the prior written permission of the author. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Not only that, you will be cursed eternally and your wangdoodle will fall off at a crucial moment. If you don't have a wangdoodle, you will grow one and it will fall off after you have learned to enjoy having one.

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