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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Ten Things To Not Say To Someone Undergoing Infertility Treatments

Seriously, I swear the fertility Gods have to be boys. No women in their right mind would allow any medicine for fertility to give you a bloated belly, hot flashes and mood swings like this. Oh, and a new thing I get to do today-stick a needle in my belly. But, I'm trying not to focus on it 24/7...Because that is what I have been told. Repeatedly.

Here are some other fun words of wisdoms told to the TTC community-

1. Wait, how old are you? I can't tell you how many people have correlated my age in a wise and thoughtful manner as the only factor of infertility. A reminder that although it would be great to be 20, age (and personally, my AMH test was through the roof, thank you very much) are not always the factor.

2. When you get pregnant, you will be bloated anyway-So, when you take this poison it makes your belly extra swollen...thankfully not much else, but belly fat indeed. It makes you feel self conscious, ugly and bloated. So, yes I realize I will gain weight when I am pregnant...but I. Am. Not. Pregnant. Yet.

3. Just relax, don't worry about it and it will happen. I would like to drink the koolaid of this la la land way of thinking and I just can't believe that people actually believe this statement. Oh my god! Just relax!! Who would have thought, this would have saved me hundreds of dollars!! This thought process will break many a medical barrier!

4. I know a girl who....I know that this is supposed to pacify me, but I really don't care about your next door neighbor's aunt's daughter who tried for years, adopted and WHAMMY got pregnant right after. I think you are lying anyway.

5. Just have a ton of sex and it will happen. This is about as delusional as one can get...maybe a good story to tell your sixteen year old, but if it was that easy, it would be that easy right! Bonus for the junior high secret "brown chicken, brown cow" looks while saying this. Hope you don't mind that I am not high fiving you anytime soon.

6. Maybe you are just trying too hard These actually are words coming out of people's mouth. How can one try too hard?

7. There is always next month. Right, and time will just stop and stand still and wait, (see #1). This makes any girl who has a body full of medicine, emotions and false hopes feel amazing.

8. Oh my god, you aren't drinking...are you pregnant? This really works best if you scream it and everyone looks and runs over and asks you whyever aren't you drinking!! Its awesome for your morale when you have to explain what you have been going through, and then when the IUI fails you look like a moron.

9. If (insert symptom here) that's when I knew I was pregnant . In other news that God is a boy...all PMS symptoms mirror exactly to the tee pregnancy symptoms. Plus if you poke your boobs hard enough, they will hurt...and they will be really really sore from the poking not the false hope that this is the right month.

10. Any news? This works especially well if you run over and grab my belly. I know that waiting the 12 weeks before you say anything goes a little irie when you are pursuing fertility treatment, but I am certain there is a better way to inquire.

I remember it well and I'm so sorry that people are still saying that to women who struggle with infertility. My absolute favorite was after my sister got pregnant for the fourth time, I jokingly called her fertile Mrytle and sadly I became sterile Carol because she didn't see how that was hurtful, she was only kidding! On the bright side, it is still legal to throw people off a bridge.....in your mind! Positive thoughts coming your way.