Playoff positioning

I drafted Greg Jennings & Miami beach Packer drafted Cobb. He asked if I wanted to trade Jennings & I said no. First game Jennings missed I went back to him & asked if he still wanted to trade. He said sure. I got Cobb for Jennings right before Jennings missed all those games

Week in and week out, the shoopster has waxed eloquent as only he possibly can on the bunch of bums currently calling themselves Chicago Bears, year after year after year. In doing so, he has endeavored to hold in high esteem not only the guidelines of the various forii within which he has participated but also the sanctity of the English language in finding sufficiently sophisticated ways of breaking it down postgame as only he can possibly see it. Despite the frustration indeed of the Wannstedt, “Dead” Dick Jauron, and indeed Lovie “LaCucaracha” Smith eras, the shoopster has surpassed all others in maintining decorum, insisting above all else that the integrity of international communication be maintained. And thus has he done.

But in the wake of a putrid loss against the even more putrid Minnesota Vikings and within the midst of fervent freefall, can he remain above the fray no longer. Indeed, there are no other words other than the down, dirty, direct, and disrespectful expletives of the tavern that this gosh-golly, excuse-laden (expletive deleted)-for-(expletive deleted) bunch of bums deserve after an uninspired 21-to-14 loss against the pitiful Minnesota Vikings. And thus does the shoopster break it down . . .

. . . It starts, of course, with the quarterback. “Oh” Jay Cutler, goes the mantra of Bear fandom, is “not at fault.” No way. Can’t be. Don’t blame, Bear fans emplore, the first quarterback Bear fans have had in years that has a modicum of professionalism in his physical ability, if not his bitchy approach, for anything. Because if you do, said fans undoubtedly fear, the “(j)a(y)-hole” just might cry. Well, Jay, get out the tissue. True, your wonderful waltz with Brandon Marshall over the past few weeks has been entertaining – the passes lofted up seemingly nowhere, Marshall outmuscling cornerbacks and safeties (and, it should be noted, committing offensive pass interference on just about every reception), and pulling down impossible passes for 30 yard games. But what the (expletive-deleted) else, Jay? Well, against the Vikings, you proved there isn’t anything. Despite quadruple coverage on Marshall in the third quarter, you threw him yet another ill-advised duck. This time, he couldn’t pull said duck down, and it turned into a pick six. Cutler apologists, do not – DO NOT – tell the shoopster there was nobody else on that field who could have received that pass when there were four Vikings on one Bear. This has been the growing issue with this offense, of which the shoopster has spoken often in previous nonpareil breakdowns, and today it reached its flashpoint. Teams that are better than a load of stinking moxie out of Gabe “Kotter” Carimi’s immense a-hole – and yes, even the garbage Vikings are better than who the Cutler and Marshall have been playing games with – aren’t going to let a guy take a pass away from four defenders. So stop smirking, open your (expletive-deleted) eyes, Jay, and throw the ball to somebody else, you (expletive-deleted) moron.

The Bears offense is ranked, what, 30th? Passing offense, what, 31st? Jay Cutler’s quarterback rating today was 57 and change, a measly four points better than the awful Christian Ponder. So when is this piece of (expletive-deleted) sourpuss going to be held accountable? When he throws into quadruple coverage for one of (essentially) two pick sixes, as he did? Or not yet?

On second thought – don’t bother answering; the shoopster is sure all this is somehow “Meathead” Mike Tice or J’Marcus Webb’s fault somehow. And yet the shoopster hasn’t even mentioned the reappearance of the “(j)a(y)-hole” all day long. After the above interception for instance, when instead of coming back on the field like a leader, the television cameras clearly caught a woebegone Cutler walking back on the field as if he had just been kicked in the (expletive-deleted) with his head down and shaking, in disapproval surely at some teammate because we all know Jay doesn’t do anything wrong. What kind of offensive series – the shoopster asks – is going to result from a quarterback coming on the field with his poor (expletive-deleted) hurting? And what kind of castrated coach stands on the sideline during the two timeouts apparently caused by the mysterious person Jay’s been pointing to for three years now for not getting the play in on time (isn’t that what his lackey Jeremy Bates is doing this year? No, can’t be his buddy Jeremy’s fault; he’s pointing at “Mad” Mike Martz, who somehow must still be at fault) and let’s his quarterback stand on the field in the huddle, wasting away the break in the action, rather than going to the sideline to confer with the braintrust (if you want to call the comatose Lovie, porcine Tice, and a55-kissing Gates that). Even Tom Thayer took Jay to task for that garbage.

Whether or not the line is bad, his OC sucks, his receivers sans one couldn’t play on Notre Dame let alone in the NFL, and his “elite” running back is only as elite as that gussied up Torino Ford tried to peddle in 1976, at some point in time, the franchise quarterback – if he indeed is the franchise – has to elevate the talent around him. Jay Cutler isn’t doing that. He scored 7 points today. 7. He gave away at least as many. The numbers don’t lie. But the Cutler fanboys will . . .

. . . Speaking of “elite” running backs, can we now end the discussion? Matt “Don’t Call Me Fort, Or Forty For That Matter, and You Sure Better Not Expect Me To Run Up the Middle with More Than Half of My Tiny Grapefruits On the Line” Forte went up against the guy he threw around all through his contract negotiations as his supposed equal? Indeed, Adrian Peterson has ended the discussion. Forte is nothing but a nice complimentary player on a team that can chip in big plays when things are going well, and get rolled over when a team looks to him in tough times to make something happen. More importantly, the lilting Forte can’t run up the middle worth a damn, and although he’s elusive as ever on the outside, goes down at the first hit when between the tackles. Which, let’s face it, makes him a pussy of a football player. Funny, we don’t hear Matt whining about his reduced touches anymore the way he did early in the season when Michael “Bird in the Hand” Bush was seeing time – it seems even Forte himself realizes he is not what he thought he was, and doesn’t even want the ball anymore. But he’s got his money. The dumb Bears made sure of that . . .

. . . Brandon Marshall – wonderful, amazing, unbelievable, etc. A blessing. And – yes – a curse. Marshall has been so good, (expletive-deleted)-face Cutler thinks he doesn’t need to throw anywhere else. No matter what. Part of the benefit of having a weapon like Marshall is allowing him to make the people around him better. For instance, when Marshall is drawing quadruple coverage, the big-shot, (expletive-deleted)-for-brains quarterback is supposed to look him off and go and find the two or three other players who are open. But, as the shoopster has been pointing out for weeks now, said (expletive-deleted)-for-brains doesn’t seem to be able to grasp the concept. Thus must the question be asked: Is this team really better with Brandon Marshall? Really? . . .

. . . Now, here, guys, the shoopster’s not even sure he can bring himself to enter in the “expletive-deleted” instead of the real thing. Because if there’s one guy who deserves the basest, most blatant language that exists in our vast versions of communique, it is “Dumb” Devin Hester. This (expletive-deleted)-retard is the dumbest, stupidest piece of (expletive-deleted) the shoopster has ever seen on the football field. That fact was confirmed when Hester was lollygagging his way through a pre-snap motion (the guy can’t even run a backfield motion route properly) and Cutler had to point emphatically to the spot he was supposed to get his attention deficit disorder to. It only got worse. Hester dropped a touchdown pass. He received a punt with 10 yards clear in front of him, stopped, looked up, then started running. He returned another punt, ran into a crowd, and literally tried to turn around and run backward out of the crowd. This piece of (expletive-deleted) imbecile is done. Get him off the field on offense; get him off the field on special teams – get him off the (expletive-deleted) (expletive-deleted) (expletive-deleted) excuse of a team. The man is stupid. STUPID. . .

. . . The defense continues to look like a fraud that beat up on unsuspecting and unskilled opponents earlier in the year, coming out of the gate as soft as ever, and indeed half (expletive-deleted) asleep, allowing a 50-plus yard run on the first play of the game. WAKE UP! Julius “Layin’” Peppers “& Eggs” is a lackadaisical, lazy (expletive-deleted) malingerer who has parlayed a corn on his toe into a season of apologies from his apologists. He did nothing again today. Nick Roach “Clip” – was he even out there? Chris “Chilli Con” Conte – can’t tackle. Charles “Me-Nut” Tillman, invisible until a stupid unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that appeared to be for instituting the vaunted peanut punch. “Father of the Year” Lance Briggs? He made the obligatory play that got the cameras on him for Fox announcers to tout the undeserved “Briggs to the Hall of Fame” campaign the national media still inexplicably lays at his feet. The turnovers of the first half of the season are a distant memory. Now, this (expletive-deleted) defense is in permanent prevent, allowing teams to chew up yards and time and tire them out, hoping somehow idiots like Christian Ponder take them off the hook . . .

. . . But special mention goes to the fearless leader, LaCucaracha, Lovie “Cancha See That Prayer Card? I Picked This One Up This Morning While Attending Mass with Senile Ol’ Ginny McCaskey” Smith. Postgame, Smith stated that the Bears “just ran out of time” as if they would have pulled out the inevitable unimpressive victory if only given another 10 minutes or so. Ran out of time? Gotcha. Lovie also said the team “was not ready to play and that’s on me” for the second time in four weeks (and in a third week, Lovie took the blame for the loss by going for the first down on 4th-and-short rather than kicking a field goal). So we have a Head Coach who has stood before Chicago and pointed the finger directly at himself for the last three losses. Lovie ended is bizarre postgame postmortem by stating the Bears “never recovered” from the opening drive in which Peterson – who is the only player worth a damn onn that atrocious Vikings offense and thus quite clearly (one would think) the focal point for any defense – took a handoff off the first snap of the game and ran 50-some yards with the football.

On the last point, of course, Lovie is correct – the Bears never recovered because they never try to; Lovie and his fellow failures of the coaching fraternity never bother trying to make an adjustment to stop the fleeing freight train as it rumbles away from them down the tracks. What more proof is needed that this (expletive-deleted) must go? When is that wrinkled up, self-righteous “patriarch” who has been running this football team like the Olde Towne Candy Shop going to make a football decision rather than one rooted on her dried-up heartstrings?

It is very possible the Bears will win only one of the final three games, which of course begs the question: Is 9-and-7 after a 7-and-1 start, playoffs or not, enough to earn LaCucaracha another extension? Well, with Ginny calling the shots, there’s only one answer: (expletive-deleted) Yeah! . . .

It's worth winning every game you can. Even if you don't get the bye (which is no brainer desirable), you play on to get a home game in the first round, and maybe the second round too if one of the bye teams gets knocked off.

The problem comes in when you earn a bye in week 16 or earlier, and then have guys go flat by not playing for 3 weeks. One game rested...good. Two games rested...bad.

The Giants take pride in what they do. In being a team that can go on the road against the best team in the NFL and win on any given week. And also consistently having 9-7, 10-6 regular season records. They have had our number in the Playoffs. I guess it is what it is. If what adambr said is true, that we are more likely to face them later if we get the North title, then do it. Difficulty- 9.5

And I wouldn't want to risk heading into Seattle anyway. As we've learned some crazy stuff can happen in that stadium. But, if our offense can get going against them, it could get ugly. The Packers just have to play above them. Difficulty- 8

The 49ers for some reason don't scare me as much as they used to with Kaepernick in now. I don't know why. Still fundamentally the best team in football. That being said, I don't think they'd be too hard to overcome anymore. Difficulty- 8.5

The Skins' are a good team no matter who they have at the helm. Both are really good. Facing them would be a big adjustment for our defense. A lot of options and bootlegs. I'm sure the rest of the NFC East is already used to it. We won't be. But RG3 isn't god. Difficulty- 7.5

Atlanta is us last year. Too busy riding the high of such a great record to notice the wheels on the carriage fell off 5 miles ago. If we play them, 2010 all overrr again. Difficulty- 6.5

The Bears are Lame-o. That vaunted defense can't scratch out a turnover or a stop anymore. Their whole offense relies on the shaky duo of Cutler and Marshall, since Forte now resides in CJ2k-I-got-my-money-ville. And the best kick returner in NFL history is too busy dropping wobbly-knuckle balls from Cutler to return a kick out past the 20 anymore. If they somehow sneak out a win against us in the regular season, good for them. Post-season difficulty- 6

Is there a scenario where we might play the Skins assuming they beat out either the Giants or Bears?

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Absolutely. At this point, anything from a #2 seed to a #6 seed is realistic for us. So any team between 6 and 9 wins, which is most of the teams in the NFC, is a potential early opponent.

Right now, the NFC playoff picture looks like this:

1) Falcons
2) 49ers
3) Packers
4) Giants
5) Seahawks
6) Bears

So right now, the Bears would be coming to Lambeau. Seattle is right there with them, but they have the tiebreaker and would be the #5 seed. Looking at the schedule for both teams, they're still both likely to get to 10 wins, so they should make it, but there are still plenty of possibilities. But the Bears and Seahawks are the most likely opponents right now.

with the way we are getting lucky and squeeking past other teams, I don't feel that we can win out....not with the bears coming up: at soldier field, sh!tty turf, bears home field advantage, our skeptic O line.....hate to say it, but i think the bears beat us in a couple weeks. All the other teams we can beat, if we start playing with more urgency

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The Packers have been finding a way to beat these teams. It isn't pretty but the W is what shows up on the stat sheet. The playoffs are an entirely different story. Will are O-line be able to garner success against the Seahawks, 9ers, Giants? Matchups say no. The eye test says no. This mini resurgance the last few weeks could very well be a mirage come playoff time. On the other hand. The offensive line could play WAY above their heads and Surprise in the playoffs. I still lean toward the former.

Absolutely. At this point, anything from a #2 seed to a #6 seed is realistic for us. So any team between 6 and 9 wins, which is most of the teams in the NFC, is a potential early opponent.

Right now, the NFC playoff picture looks like this:

1) Falcons
2) 49ers
3) Packers
4) Giants
5) Seahawks
6) Bears

So right now, the Bears would be coming to Lambeau. Seattle is right there with them, but they have the tiebreaker and would be the #5 seed. Looking at the schedule for both teams, they're still both likely to get to 10 wins, so they should make it, but there are still plenty of possibilities. But the Bears and Seahawks are the most likely opponents right now.

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the 3rd & likely team would be the Redskins should they win out. That would be a good match up as well

I'm going to disagree and forsake the first round bye. Look to our path to the SB in 2010 and the similar path the Giants took in 2011. Neither of those teams had first round byes. In fact I think last year the first round bye may of done more harm than good. To say "we can't beat the Giant's" is a bit much. Of course we can beat the Giants but it's going to be extremely hard to do especially if we face them at home. Defeating them is more of an improbability than an impossibility if circumstances remain as they are now but those circumstances are apt to change. The playoffs are a whole new ballgame. Now is the time I look to see which teams are getting hot going into the playoffs and not so much teams that were consistently good throughout the year. The Packers are improving and if we hit our stride going into the playoffs along with the Giants and other such teams, this is anyone's race guys.

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In order to beat the Giants we need effective running game and our own big pass rush.....

Not thinking about seeding yet, just thinking about winning the division. The Packers obviously win the division with a win over the Bears, but what about a loss? Then the Packers would need to win the final 2 games to win the division, or beat Minnesota and get a Bears loss. A 3-way-tie between the Packers, Bears & Vikings (possible if the Packers lose to Bears & Vikings and Bears lose one of their other games) would result in a Vikings division championship and the Packers in second.

Kaepernick isn't a rookie, he was drafted in '11....but he still might play like one in the playoffs. Hopefully.

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??? who's talking about him ??? anyways......teams now have more film on him and he hasn't looked like he did in his first start. Teams will slowly get better at defending him. Hell, the lowly rams made him look retarded.

??? who's talking about him ??? anyways......teams now have more film on him and he hasn't looked like he did in his first start. Teams will slowly get better at defending him. Hell, the lowly rams made him look retarded.

??? who's talking about him ??? anyways......teams now have more film on him and he hasn't looked like he did in his first start. Teams will slowly get better at defending him. Hell, the lowly rams made him look retarded.

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Post #79.

But no, I agree, the QB controversy in SF might actually turn out to be a positive thing for us.

What I say here might get me summarily executed by the Packer faithful but I'll risk it.

I hope we beat the Bears and knock them out of playoff contention. (not risky, I know) Not just because I can't stand the Bears' fans, but because I'd rather see the Vikings get a chance to clinch a WC spot. Why you ask? Because of AP. If there is anyone in this league who deserves a chance to be in the playoffs, it's Peterson. He's the heart and soul of that team, and if he dashes for over 2000 yards this season and propels the Vikings into the WC spot, then IMO he should be the MVP.

Does that mean I'd like to see the Vikes beat us last game of the season even if we have the division wrapped up? if we nothing to play for, well maybe. Otherwise. . .

I won't criticize you for your opinion. But rooting for the Vikings over the Packers in Week 17 if we have nothing to play for? Yikes...

The only circumstance I can ever root for the Vikings or Bears in is a game which has playoff implications for the Packers and a win is beneficial to us. That's it.

I respect AP, but he's a rival of the Packers, not a friend. There isn't a single one of them who would want to see us get in if they were the division leaders and I certainly wouldn't wish playoffs for them.

We win this Sunday & the 49ers loose we'll be seeded #2. I'd rather the 49ers come up here than us go there. Also no rookie has ever led his team to the SB.

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Hey Oshkosh, see above.

Also> Big Ben became the youngest Super Bowl-winning quarterback in NFL history, helping lead the Steelers, in his second professional season, to a 21–10 victory over the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL at the age of 23.... Kaepernick is also in his second season, like Roethlisberger.