Monthly Archives: April 2016

I am feeling this way right now as someone whom I looked up to didn’t turn out to be the person I thought he would be. Even worse, he was almost a 100% contrary to my assessment of him. I thought he was God fearing, but he turned out to be perhaps more ‘evil worshipping’. I thought he was honest, but he was actually mean and vicious. I thought he was gentle, but he was thuggish.

People’s behaviours have a way to fool you, and this is something which so-called “people psychology” expert like me can’t understand how I could go wrong. No wonder people are complex and can be deceiving.

In my life I’m sure I will go through many more shocks and disappointments no matter how prepared I am when interacting with them.

The upside to all these are life lessons I can learn that may help reduce my chances of failures. There are 3 lessons that I picked from my most recent experience with this person I once held high.

One is, don’t shut out my mind completely even if I feel so sure about somebody or something. This will allow me to ‘breathe’ in some fresh information that will help me to reassess my earlier conclusions about them.

Two is, not to have high expectations or ambitious about any form of relationship, be it professional or personal. When failures do loom, it will not be so hurting. However, should the relationship boom, consider it as a bonus.

Three, when disappointments do come, I learn to take it in its stride. No need to cry over it. Let time heal. And also tell yourself that God has eyes. He knows the right from wrong; the good from bad. God has a way of making up, so let go and not fight it to square off with them.

Four, at the end of my life is God. In the journey to him, happiness is of utmost importance. So what the heck, enjoy the journey, wish this person well. Get on with life, there’s so much more than what this person can do to you.

This statement, ‘I can’t remember’ is used by many, be it as a defence on their innocence in court by someone facing conviction , or by the man on the street to defend their innocence against a blame from something wrongful that they have done.

While there’s truth in some cases where they truly can’t remember due to a lapse of memory, there are unfortunately many deceitful people who use this again and again so that you can’t lay a hand on them. To these people, their hidden intention is ‘ get off my back’.

I have, and I believe that some of you do have some people in your life who frequently use the ‘I can’t remember’ weapon. Very unfortunately, their habitual use of it has robbed them of their integrity and respect in our eyes.

To me, the best way to deal with them is not to take flight from them but to confront them, stare into their eyes to show them that you do see through their deceitful words. If you have other evidence of their super memory in other things that they have higher priorities, it pays to highlight these evidences to them. One such rebut I use is, Oh! You can’t remember this simple thing, but how come you can remember this or that …………?”

While there’s no guarantee that this will be a good solution to stop their deceitful ways, it will certainly minimise their usage of it so that they begin to live a life of truth.