(Closed) FMIL issues…

We’ve never really been close because our(her and I) relationship did not start off on good terms. So since then I’ve always been kind of stand offish towards her. I respect her as my FH mom but it really doesn’t go beyond that.

So last night FH and his mom got into it because she can be controlling. She had a meeting with a florist w/o us and he told her she can’t do that w/o me. She got so upset stating that we never let her help and went on and on. Then all of a sudden it went from that to me. She basically attacked me, stating how I don’t appreciate her and she brought up Christmas from a few years back and how we didn’t get her anything. Mind you, FH was laid off and I was taking care of two people, we didn’t get each other anything.

There is definitely a LOT more to the story but this lady has been so rude and cold our entire time together(over 10yrs) and now I think she’s finally realized that we’re getting married and can’t take it.

It’s totally understandable that you’re coming from a place of hurt, but maybe she’s reacting to your stand-offishness. You two are going to be family soon, and sometimes it’s the small steps that make a difference. She was out of line going to the florist without you, but is there something you can do to make her feel more included? Give her a task or detail to “own” that you don’t have strong feelings about.

When she starts bringing up the past and has a meltdown, try not to react. Just say, “I’m sorry you feel that way. What can we do together to make things better right now?”

It can be hard to move on from the past and be the bigger person, but it will totally be worth it if you can have a more peaceful relationship in the future. Good luck!