Alonso breaks the seal on his own gearbox.The Spainard said he felt bad after pipping his team mate to the pole in Australia, and wants to support Massa's bid for the title any way he can right from the start.

Bubbles becomes first non-human to be awarded super license.In a bid to save money, Force India, employ the services of Michael Jackson's old pet as test driver. But have stated his driving style is too passive for professional racing.

(or is that too unbelievable?)

_________________There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

VETTEL MOVES TO CATERHAM- Vettel says "winning from the front is too easy"

DI RESTA MAKES A FUNNY- Scott Paul Di Resta shows some personality when he gave the press conference a well timed knock knock joke

"THERE WILL BE NO MORE PARTYING FOR ME"- Kimi Raikkonen has given up the booze to focus completely on his racing career

HRT RETURNS- F1 Team HRT returns to the F1 scene after finding extra funding "It was hidden under a mattress"

F1 SEX SCANDAL- New reports emerging of F1 Driver Lewis Hamilton having a sleep over with new team mate Nico Rosberg, Hamilton before the media defended his actions by stating "Well he's the closest one who looks like a girl in the paddock"

NO SECOND DRIVER AT FORCE INDIA- Team boss Vijay Mallaya has revealed why its taken so long to reveal the second seat, "I was going to find someone, but the Big Bang Theory was on then I had to get some milk at the Delhi"

WEBBER PLEASED WITH RELIABILITY- The Australian has finished the season with absolutely nothing breaking on his car.

BUTTON CONFUSED- The McLaren driver went to Dublin instead of Melbourne for the opening round of the F1 season. Martin Whitmarsh found the funny side however, "It's just like that China pitstop from 2011 again"

ALONSO HAS NO NEW LOOK- Fernando Alonso has promised not to change his facial hair or hair cut at any point during the season

PEREZ REGRETFUL- Perez has regretted his move to McLaren with some critical comments to the team, "The car is fairy cakes" and "Why must I drive it in reverse?" among the most revealing.

NEWEY TAKES VERGNES SEAT- Red Bull techincal director has decided to race in Vergnes Torro Rosso to get a better understanding of the Pirelli tyres.

RICCARDO vs GROSJEAN HEATING UP- F1 Drivers Riccardo and Grosjean are neck and neck in the standings for cheesiest smile, with Grosjean slightly ahead with a longer neck.

BRUNDLE REVOLUTIONISES F1- Commentator Martin Brundle has decided to commentate the F1 season in the style of interpretive dance.

SOUTH AFRICAN GRAND PRIX- Bernie Eccelstone has signed a new contract to hold a race in South Africa, "I'm sure we can replace one of the Middle East races, it's not like we need the money"

MASSA WILLING TO GIVE ALL FOR FERRARI SUCCESS- Felipe Massa has literally given his right arm to help his team mate Fernando Alonso, team bosses are not convinced of the effectiveness but are praising Massa's commitment, "I would have stopped when I hit the bone, but kudos to him as he just kept on going" says Christian Horner

THE DRIVERS ARE IMPORTANT- Team Boss Frank Williams has revealed in a close and personal interview that the drivers are the ones that really matter in a team.

SAUBER FORGET CRITICAL COMPONENT- The Sauber team has confirmed that they forgot to add an accelerator pedal to the car, Sauber's Technical Director says "Well we were trying to save weight and overlooked the importance of this feature"

January: - Negotiations with the Nurburgring fall through and Bernie enters discussions with himself to hold a Grand Prix in his back garden. - A leaked picture of Caterhams new car is even uglier than the last one and everyone begs for the return of the stepped noses.

February: - Mark Webber makes a surprise appearance at the STR launch answering to the name Daniel. Red Bull make the most suspicious driver swap in history. - New third driver Kamui Kobayashi drives his road car into Romain Grosjeans brand new Lotus at the teams launch. A stewards enquiry drops the Frenchman ten places on the Australian grid.

April: - Raikkonen to Mclaren rumours kick off again after photos emerge of Kimi looking at a picture of his 2005 car. - Paul Di Resta takes his first career podium in Bahrain and celebrates by moaning that he didn't win. He is replaced by Bianchi for the following race.

May: - Valterri Bottas loses the Spanish Grand Prix on the final lap due to a faulty Renault alternator. The conspiracy theories begin. - Esteban Guittierez starts the biggest pile up of the season at the start of the Monaco Grand Prix. Charles Pic records his first podium.

June: - Guitterez serves a one race ban in Montreal handing his Sauber to Giancarlo Fisichella. The Italian crosses the line second behind Perez. - The British Grand Prix plays host to the last podium interview section as Nigel Mansell talks for far too long about his own achievements sending Vettel, Button and Perez to sleep.

July: - Martin Whitmarsh and Christian Horner come to blows over the latest FIA ruling banning controversial seatbelts on the Red Bull. Mclaren had complained that the seatbelts gave Vettel half a seconds advantage. - The Bernies Back Garden Grand Prix is held under repeated safety cars for rioting neighbours and perillous falling gnomes.

August: - Jacques Villeneuve buys himself a Marussia seat alonside Chilton. Despite driving for one race because he qualifies three seconds off his teammate, he still claims it was harder in his day. - Lewis Hamilton tweets the Mercedes teams lunch menu during Spa Qualifying and is seen exchanging harsh words with Ross Brawn. Before the race he eats lunch in the Sauber garage.

September: - The Williams team suffer a double retirement in Monza. Bruno Senna claims he would've scored double their points this year. Rubens Barrichello claims he would have done four times better. - Grosjean wins the Singapore Grand Prix with team mate Raikkonen in P2. When asked if he had any congratulations for Romain, Kimi replies "Yeah, next time let me win."

October: - Alonso falls out of the title running and explains to the press that they were correct about preferential treatment scandals in the team. They were biased towards Massa from day one in 2010. - After a season of disappointments in the Force India, Adrian Sutil is sacked and replaced by Vijay Mallya himself for the Indian Grand Prix. The team leader takes P23 ten laps down, yet still ahead of Karthikeyan in the Marussia.

November: - Massa falls out of contention leaving Button, Raikkonen and Vettel fighting for the championship. - In the last race Vettel is taken out on the last corner by "Ricciardo" in the STR driving his final grand prix. This hands the crown to Button on countback.