May 29, 2010

Let’s get this down while it’s still fresh. Had a reading with Shala and Jesus. My ex wife has low self esteem. She loves in her own way but not as deeply as I do. She is like a wild colt that you can pet sometimes and she’ll come close – other times she will run away. Sometimes the flame burns bright hot, other times it’s down to the pilot light. She has me wrapped around her little pinky and she knows it. I am her rock. She seeks me out when the drama of her own life becomes too tiresome. When she has had her fill of stability and support, she once again withdraws.

No more. I’m going to starve off the supply of rock support. I am going to make her work for it. I am going to be me when I am with her. It has been said that I am less and less of myself when I am with her. I am too nice to try to win her back. I’m going to have to make her work for me. I’m going to cut off access and draw her out. I’m not sure where this is going to lead. I can’t marry the same woman that I divorced. That would be marital suicide. Maybe if she found Jesus found god, decided to be a good Christian wife then maybe. I will not hold my breath.

I am going to withdraw and let her chase me. Hell, this is what I learned in the Tao of Steve. Silly me for forgetting. I am going to quietly withdraw. I am going to have to be patient.

She has said that she is drawn to me because I am her rock, I make her feel safe and protected. I am like home. Very hard to hear that from the woman you loved and lost. It’s hard not to get false hope.

She’s tempted to make love to me. Wants to spread her legs for me. But reticent because she knows it will lead to a relationship.

Here’s what I’m going to do:

I am going to take away her safety net. I am going to really start to limit her access to me. I am going to make her chase. And then I am going to fuck her. Updates to come.

April 30, 2010

I’ve been touting the benefits of self improvement for a while now. I really am in the process of designing a better life and fashioning myself into the kind of person I want to be. Well, I recently took a very big step. I kicked my renter out of the house. I don’t need his rent money I don’t want him around. Why is this significant? Here’s the story:

George and I have have been tight for close to 17 years. Tight. Sometimes realtionships carry on out of habit after the person who was so special to us has completely dissappeared. George has been in and out of trouble over the years. He was a spoiled brat with an upper middle class upbringing fast on his way to becoming a lawyer. But he never had it in him. as soon as George got to college and out from under the umbrella of his overprotective father, he crashed and burned. He made it one semester at Michigan State University and flunked out. the guy was out of gas from the start.

So he comes homes and gets a job and a local comic sci-fi store. That’s where he and I became friends. He was always a lot fun. Lazy, unmotivated and undependable, but that didn’t matter to me at the time. Well I moved to LA, worked with the high and mighty for a while and five years later moved home to marry the love of my life. In the meantime:

George is diagnosed bipolar. Tells his father that he hates him in a family therapy session. His father dies that night of a massive brain hemmorage or something. George continues sliding downhill, his stepmother completely cuts him off. In this time, George smokes more and more pot. Two other friends cut him off at this point.

Meanwhile, I come home from LA like nothings happened and we’re friends again. Well, i get busy getting married and stuff and fall out of touch. During this time, George, in a paranoid episode, gets into a fistfight with his stepfather and goes to the Macomb County Jail for nearly nine months. It’s from here that he gets back in touch with me after some time out of touch (again). Silly me, just keep giving him chance after chance. He comes off as a nice guy and snow’s alot of people.

Getting to the point, I’m going to skip alot of the story. It’s 2008 and I’m getting divorced. It is the worst experience of my life and George, to be fair, is there for me. almost from the beginning he’s offering to move into my basement and pay me rent to help me out. She walked away and left me with the house after the divorce.

I didn’t want him to live with me. I knew better. He’s a slob. He’s unmotivated. He’s a bad influence to be around. Well there were a couple of mitigating circumstances.

He got social security. As pathetic as that is, at least I was garuanteed he’d always have the rent money every month.

He got accepted to a very prestigiuous school. He’s an artist, and I got him back into his painting. He got accepted to the College for Creative Studies in Detroit on a full ride. Not easily done.

So I figured he’s moving up in the world and he’s be busy this will be managable. Well, the whole summer he sat in his underwear in the basement. I was already ready to kill him. He finally starts going to school, goes for a month, cries and bitches about how hard it is and stops going. And starts sleeping all day. And I mean all day. So I put him on notice around christmas time and he swears he’s going to give it another go. He does. Same thing, back to bed all day. Slob. Unmotivated.

I kicked his ass out. You are the sum total of your five best friends and I can’t have him factoring into my GPA anymore. This is my first week of having my house back to myself and being free of him. So far so great……….

April 22, 2010

“The first man in 6000 years to understand women.” That is the claim that Doc, AKA Tom Hodges, makes on the cover of this 200 page tome. “The only course that truly answers the question: Why does a woman choose to stay with one man versus another?”

I believe Doc Love, AKA Tom Hodges, has made good on these claims. First the facts: This 201 page paperback book is not available from any retailer, it can only be bought direct at doclove.com. And you’re going to pay a pretty penny for the system $99.00 shipped in the US. With that you get the book and two cd audios, one of a live recording of Doc and a seminar and the other is a radio interview.

The basic precept is that of interest level. Hers, not yours. Doc’s entire system is based around using confidence control and challenge to up her interest level. The woman’s high interest in the man, is the life blood of a long term relationship – the man’s interest is not that important. His interest in her should be a little lower than her interest in him. As a 36 year old divorcee I can attest to the genius of all this.

As a side note, the book is really set like a dictionary. With terms like acceptance, counteroffer, dancing – going in alphabetical order. Each entry takes a slightly different approach to put forth the principles. In fact the only criticism I would really have is I think he should wrap it up with bullet points at the end. Sort of a checklist. Maybe I’ll do that myself upon my second reading of this material.

This system is about discipline and making her fall in love with you. This IS NOT pick-up. Bottom line:

This is the best relationship guide for men that I have ever seen. HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION.

April 18, 2010

Well it’s been quite a year. I’m in great shape – starting to act like James Bond and getting laid. I’ve kicked out my loser roomate and can’t wait to be alone – one more week. I’m working on self improvement in a few different areas:

law of attraction/wealth. I have a new Kevin Trudea CD set called “Your Wish Is Your Command”. I will be listeneing to that over and over and reflecting on my ideas and insights.

February 8, 2010

Women, Confidence, and PUA by Jakob

By Jakob.

Coldness and aloofness of women here is so COMMON that it becomes accepted. Women go out of their way to avoid contact with others while out in public. They might appear passive on the surface, but believe me they are VERY active in the art of avoidance and subterfuge. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll size up a situation quickly and not bother to “tough it out” and see if something good happens. I’ll just leave and go elsewhere.
About 8 years ago I was what many in the seduction community would call an “AFC”. It’s not a term I like, but it gets the point across. I was at that point where PUA and related concepts became very important to me to get out of this dating rut I was in. Back then, “game” seemed like the ultimate answer to a poor social life and lack of women in my life, but after years of experience and trial and error, I have come to realize that “game” is only a life raft. If you are sinking and don’t know how to swim, it can help you overcome some of your biggest mistakes. But it’s all relative. If you’re starving, even a sh*t sandwich can seem appetizing. But admittedly I did have a fair degree of success with PUA material. The only problem was the level of success was in many ways abnormal; the women were shallow, manipulative, stimulation seeking, emotionally unregulated drama queens. PUA material was merely a way to navigate a broken system, a way to get results, no matter how lacklustre those results are, and then call it success.
It’s worth mentioning that the best women I met were the ones that didn’t require game. Everything was normal, and went seamlessly. So it’s completely untrue that good game gets good women. Overcoming obstacles is not the path to getting good women. That’s why I now only screen for women who make it easy for me. The law of returns works in my favor. The same goes if you only want sex. The best lays are “foolsmate” lays, contrary to what Mystery et al believe.
Over time I began to see that the seduction community has two major flaws: The first flaw is that it teaches you the very contradictory message that you have to learn to be masculine and be your own man, while catering to women and their actions. So no matter what she does, it’s up to you to calibrate it for best effect. If she wants cocky and funny, you better be cocky and funny. If she wants an as*hole, you better be that too. If she wants entertainment and you aren’t entertaining, then she will move on to the next guy who is.
The second flaw is that the seduction community never or rarely addresses those things that women are doing wrong. It’s like a child who throws a tantrum, and instead of disciplining him or her, you take the position that you have to find out what it is they want and give it to them. There’s this intense fear that if you call out women on their misbehaviour, you are a chump or weak or unable to take it like a man. So rather than do that, many guys prefer to just take the “spoil the child” approach to getting laid. Game is basically a coping strategy for women’s rotten behaviour. If a woman has attitude and is unresponsive, god forbid you tell her to open up. It’s your job to figure out what buttons to push.
It’s not hard to see that game and PUA material is a downward spiral. I digress..
I signed up for this forum because I can relate to its premise. Although I have not traveled much, I know for sure that women abroad are better. In fact, some of the friendliest most open women I have met came here from overseas. And I’ve know guys who moved here, and have taken a serious hit in their social life. So some might say that the traveler status helps, and when guys say they do better abroad it’s because of that. Now, there is likely some truth to that, but like I said, I’ve known guys who have moved here from overseas who suddenly found themselves dateless and having a hard time making connections.
In my neck of the woods, women follow this rigid structure on where and how to meet men. As a result I’ve only ever met women at clubs and through the internet. Despite many, many attempts I have almost never met anyone through daytime pickup, either at the mall, bookstore, bus stop, etc. You would think it was easy. Well you would be wrong.
Some might say that I wasn’t gaming right, or I was doing something wrong. That may have been more true in the beginning, but now I know it’s the women that are closed off. It becomes most obvious when I get much better reactions from women when I meet them through friends or acquantances (the accepted channels), but when I meet them them out in public there’s this wall that comes up. Hard to explain, but it’s like this polite on the surface, but wanting to get the hell out of there vibe. And yet I am the same person everywhere, but the location makes all the difference. The PUA stuff is not a solution to this. It can help a bit, but like this site owner said, they already have to be into you. I resisted this notion for the longest time, but eventually I concluded that if you have overcome your shyness and are comfortable talking with strangers, then PUA won’t help. PUA only helps if you are very extroverted, in which case PUA gives you material to work with, kind of like training wheels. There’s also probably a placebo effect where you feel good about it, and that shows in your overall vibe, making you more attractive.
So the only real benefit of PUA is that it’s a template to get you talking, but it’s no more useful than religion is to make you a better or more attractive person. Guys who cling to this are simply in life-raft mode, scared to move on to solid land or to greener pastures, which is what this site talks about.
It’s a shame that these so-called PUA gurus are getting so much attention, with guys spending tons of money on their products. But none of these gurus talk about the dysfunctional dating culture in North America. To do that would admit a weakness that can’t be marketed, and these guys have money to make. Take David DeAngelo for instance, who does provide some good information, but also some very bad. He seems to underscore all his good advice with this one sentence: “Do this to get women”. Learn hobbies, be funny and interesting dot-dot-dot because it helps you get women. You have to wonder how far along he really is in his personal development.
Then there’s Mystery, always teaching coping techniques on how to deal with any and all adverse dating situations. His classic line: “Men must learn to attract beautiful women or their genes will be mercilessly weeded out of existence”. Great line BTW, plays on fear. And once the fear is primed, a solution is offered-very cult like. The only problem with this classic line is that it’s relatively easy to eventually propagate your genes with someone, even in this dysfunctional culture, as long as you go out enough and talk to enough women. And the whole notion of “beautiful woman” is biased because in Mystery’s and his followers view, only dolled up 18-25 year olds are beautiful or “perfect 10s”, and since the techniques play on these women’s insecurities (typical for girls this age) they are lauded as superior; i.e. they get the “best women”. If the techniques don’t work, and they won’t on older more intelligent women, it is said that these women are not the best anyway. Yada yada and you can say that the techniques are engineered to get the highest quality women and they won’t work on the lower value women (anyone over 25). It’s PUA slight of hand basically. Thing is, with evolutionary biology arguments, you can prove just about anything. Lots of makeup is called superior beauty, and immaturity is called exceptional femininity. Therefore, the (dysfunctional) techniques work on the “most beautiful, most feminine women”.
[…]
I do think men honestly need to look at themselves and be willing to fix their issues. But we also can’t ignore the fact that women need to do their part too. THAT is what is missing from this culture: criticism of females. The assumption is always that men need to do the self-improvement part. But learning how to meet women will only go anywhere if the women are willing to do their part. Why should I put my best foot forward and go to all these lengths to meet women, when they have already made up their mind that they don’t want to meet me? Why throw pearls to swine? Sure, you can argue that maybe I’m doing something wrong. And that’s possible, but if it is always assumed that the guy is at fault, then is it not likely that, in the absence of forced female introspection, women will become increasingly blind to their own shortcomings? And as a result, is it not likely that the true fault will eventually shift to women for the most part.
But nope, don’t criticise women. Instead cope, be a man, and keep a positive attitude. Like the site owner said, a positive attitude won’t help if women have an axe to grind. One thing I’ve learned is that a positive attitude helps, but not with women who act like stone-faced gatekeepers. I’ve gone into many situations with a positive attitude and gotten burned. Sh*t happens. Just tell that to the survivors of a natural disaster who seconds before were living and enjoying life. You do not have control over everything. It’s a certain new-age BS that has creeped into many people’s thinking that has made a mockery of rational thinking.
Another point I want to make is that good looks don’t help that much in this feminist climate. I know this because I’ve gotten many girls and a few guys tell me I’m very good looking, but that doesn’t help that much. Most girls when they see me automatically assume I’m a player who will only use them, so even though they might be attracted, they are indoctrinated to resist alpha males. So it’s very ironic that if every woman assumed that I get all the girls — but as a matter of principle I won’t get her — then I will hook up with nobody! Fortunately, I do hook up once in a while (definitely not often), but only with those few women who don’t care that much who else I might be f*cking. It’s funny how that works, but it’s basically sexual politics. If you are a Democrat, and by definition the strong alpha guy is a Republican, then you will refuse to be with them because they are your political enemy. Men, or rather masculinty, in this feminized country, is the political enemy of the extreme Left. The result is a socialist unspoken tyranny against men. You see this everywhere uf you just keep your eyes open. This tyranny is most played out in divorce courts, custody battles, domestic violence, funding of women’s programs vs mens, and the whole dating sphere.