Set an example for future success

The following is a positive message to all responsible for raising our children.

On the news we were told of a story involving a mother who left her child standing in a supermarket to take a fall for shoplifting. It seems the mother told her child to wait at the door with an cart load of groceries not paid for, till she came around with her car to carry out the crime.

What message is the child of this mother giving her?

The mother may have said no to her child if she touched something in the house that was breakable, she may have said no if the child wanted to go to an unsupervised party. What then is the word, no worth? What lessons do we teach our children if all we say is no or even spank a child? There is a difference between the word discipline and the concept of disciplining with guidance as the goal.

Our children are growing up in a time when they need to be able to problem solve especially when it comes to moral decisions. Children are tempted by their peers to do things that are not always morally correct.

Children need to know more than just the word no.

No should be saved for those times when a child is putting themselves in harm's way, i.e. running across the street when traffic is coming.

I give the example when I teach child development classes that if you see a child trying to climb on a table do you shout out "no" stop, or do you go to the child before they climb on the table and say to them, "It looks like you need to climb" or "It looks like you need to find something to do, let's find something for you that is safe but makes you happy." You have accomplished two things. You have kept the child safe and given them the opportunity to choose an activity to fulfill their needs and by problem solving this builds positive self-esteem.

Getting back to the child left in the supermarket. What kind of choices did her mother leave her? Is she learning, stealing is OK as long as you get away with it and don't rely on adults to protect you.

Caregivers of our children do have a responsibility to guide children in a positive way. Children need to know there are choices that are moral and lead to a life where children can feel good about themselves.

As adults if we want a better world we have to start with ourselves and look at what kind of role-models we are to our children.

Right now the world needs some posititive discipline. We cannot solve everything with violence. Let's start with our children and give them and yourself the gift of positive discipline.