The Obama campaign is slowly turning into one of those WWI German army divisions that keeps hurling mustard gas at the enemy — while standing upwind — and yet wonders why they’re wheezing badly while the enemy keeps advancing undaunted.

McCain gets emotional at the mention of military families needing food stamps or veterans lacking health care. The outrage comes from inside: McCainÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s severe war injuries prevent him from combing his hair, typing on a keyboard, or tying his shoes. Friends marvel at McCainÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s encyclopedic knowledge of sports. HeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s an avid fan – Ted Williams is his hero – but he canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t raise his arm above his shoulder to throw a baseball.

If the Democrats lose this election, it’s going to be because they were in such a hurry to bury McCain and Palin that they forgot to get out of the hole they dug before having the dirt shoveled back in. If I ran the McCain campaign, I’d mock the mockery — “Do we really want a president who doesn’t even know how to Google search? Do we want a president with such reckless disregard and lack of compassion for disabled veterans?”

As for the Democrats’ next ad, I can see it already: “Do we really want a president who is such a sissy that he can’t even properly throw or catch a ball?”