Taser Shockwave will take out a herd of charging rhinos

When I posted that triple Taser the other day (apparently it’s for taking down your female coworkers, watch the video), I speculated that the criminals would come back with greater numbers, creating an arms race between muggers and the mugged. But if there was one of these on every corner, all you’d have to do is get behind it and hit the trigger, and everything you can see gets Tasered. Boom, no more muggers!

The Shockwave is meant to “de-escalate/defuse violent crowd/riot situations,” although I have a feeling that if you Taser the first wave of a crowd, it might get a lot more rowdy — especially if they see that your Shockwave is a one-shot device, or three at the most (plus you can duck).

At that point, it’s time to bring out the pain ray. Sergeant! Warm up the pain ray! Wait, they did what with it?

Oh, man! I made a poem:Taser, taser, burning bright
in a show of force tonight