Your NFL Recap: Week 12

With the holiday cheer infecting everyone, it’s time to forgive past wrongs and make honest assessments of our own mistakes. In that spirit, I apologize profusely to the Chicago Bears and Jay Cutler for the amount of sh*t I’ve thrown at them in these pages. I was highly dubious of their chances of success this season, but based on yesterday’s whooping of the Eagles, the Bears have emerged as one of the favorites in the NFC. While the reborn Bears defense had been carrying the load in games passed, this W was tied to the arm of Chicago’s franchise QB and maligned offensive guru Mike Martz. A combination of perfectly timed catch and run crossing routes by speedsters Johnny Knox and Devin Hester had the Eagles defense running scared.

The Eagles and Michael Vick made things interesting, rallying for three late scores, but curious game management by Andy Reid for the approximately 127th time left the Eagles with too much room to make up in too little time. Consider this critic silenced.

The Bears slipped into second place in the conference and first in the division thanks to Atlanta’s last second victory over Green Bay in the marquee matchup of Sunday. Tied at 10, a ballsy 4th and goal call by Mike Smith put the Dirty Birds up a touchdown late in the 4th. What followed was typical Green Bay: a brilliant spread no-huddle 4th quarter drive by Aaron Rodgers capped by an absolutely sensational pass on 4th and goal to tie the game with one minute left.

Unfortunately, the next minute was also typical Green Bay: a boneheaded special teams penalty giving Matty Ice and the Falcons the ball at mid-field. A few quick passes later and kicker Matt Bryant was in position to give Atlanta another home victory and clear control of their destiny in the NFC.

Sick of the mediocre play of their teams, the Titans and Texans decided to make a forary into boxing, featuring a heavyweight battle between Andre Johnson and Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan. Finnegan’s always been known for his feisty competitiveness, which is a polite way of saying he’s a dirty player. On this afternoon, he either said something nasty to Johnson to provoke him, or he was just tired of watching Rusty Smith sink the Titans playoff hopes. The brawl ended with both players ejected and Johnson scoring a judges victory.

Quick Hits

— The Bills continue to experiment in the most heartbreaking ways to lose games in overtime, this time against a lethargic Pittsburgh team. Steve Johnson played the chump this time, dropping a wide open pass most third-graders could pull down at recess. Rather than take the blame for his admitted mistake, Johnson turned his anger towards the real culprit, God…via Twitter.

— We interrupt this recap of Sunday’s games for a special rant by resident TSS Cowboys fan J. Tinsley:

I don’t want to take up too much time, so let’s get right down to it. Roy Williams, you sir, ruined my Thanksgiving. I’ve long since accepted our season tanked weeks ago, but damnit man, it’s all about playing spoiler now. Here we are on the brink of an impressive comeback and beating the defending Superbowl champs in our stadium and you even manage to reel off an impressive catch and run. All was well in good until you decided to let your manhood be taken away. You didn’t even fumble. The ball was taken out of your hand.

I’ve never been a fan of you on Dallas and even feel we overpaid for your services. You have proven to be as useful as an Enron-endorsed condom. Hopefully Jason Garrett has you carrying Dez Bryant’s shoulder pads for the remainder of your tenure in a Cowboys uniform.

G, it’s probably too late now, but next season I’d like to volunteer my gambling services to a small football pick em’ column for Fridays. Spreads and over/unders.

In a related note…DA BEARS!! 2-game lead in the division, crucial tiebreaker over Philly now for 2nd seed, a chance to still overtake ATL for the 1. D playing out of their mind and the offense playing well the last 4 games. This Bears team now is better then the Bears team of a month or two ago – improvement is all that matters, don’t wanna peak early. Lovie Smith might be saving his job – I figured we would be 6-10 and he’d be a goner and I wasn’t salty because he stopped coaching the way he used to and got stagnant, but this year he’s back to the Lovie of 05-06. Good for him and the team, although old white men Chicago sports fans with a hard-
on for Ditka and the George Halas/Butkus era are still hating because they been crying for Bill Cowher’s overrated Ditka-lite looking ass to be coach. Listening to sportstalk radio here you’d swear we’re 0-11. Mufuggas really got no love for Lovie and are actually rooting against the Bears and have been dismissing them as lucky all year – even yesterday – even though the Bears dominated in all phases. Some folks can’t be pleased.

By: Gotty™

11.29.2010 @ 12:09 PM

el ro – i tried to petition for such a feature…but i’m the only (former) degenerate in the crew and it didn’t go over lol.

By: G'd Up

11.29.2010 @ 11:38 AM

As a friend commented over dinner, Stevie Johnson was looking like a real “toilet full of used condoms” in overtime last night

By: fuzzy dunlop

11.29.2010 @ 11:41 AM

In non-NFL-but-still-football news, how ’bout NOTRE DAME BEATING USC!!! First time in a long time baby! I wish my grandpa was alive to see that one. beautiful. I’m sure nobody cares but it was still awesome.

And the Steelers won too, but they should have one. I felt so bad for Johnson (but not TOO bad). Another game, another bullshit penalty on Harrison. Nice job Goodell.

Dwayne Bowe = holy fucking shit.

By: Athrin

11.29.2010 @ 11:57 AM

Shoutout to Andre Johnson for doing what we all wanted to do to Courtland Finnegan. The chin check at the end was a sight to behold.

Also, fuck the refs for that call on Harrison. You know, if he retired tomorrow, I wouldn’t be mad, because these rules are turning him into the Rasheed Wallace of the NFL. This nigga can’t go a week without refs throwing him a shitty ass flag.

In terms of Stewie Johnson: Dropping the game winning catch is one thing, but dropping four others is another. He was looking foolish that entire game.

By: 500K Flea

11.29.2010 @ 12:03 PM

@ El Rosado: Agreed, the Bears get NO respect! The so-called “football analysts” (eye-roll) have been saying that the Bears defense is the only thing holding the team together,to that I say BULLSHIT! The offensive play of Chi-Town has been phenomenal and deserves just as much recognition as the hard-working defense. GO BEARS!!! What the hell happened to Indy last night? The damn Chargers kept on running the ball right through the Colts defense with the utmost of ease; shit was too painful to watch so I ended up watching the wack-ass Soultrain Awards. My poor Bills! I don’t give a fuck what anybody says or thinks, but for Buffallo to be challenging teams well into overtime AND holding them to 3 point wins makes them winners in my book. They just have to learn how to seal the victory!

@ Fuzzy: WHAT?! Nobody cares?! I DO! I’m a NCAA Football maniac! I’m glad for Notre Dame because I DETEST the Trojans with a passion! I still can’t believe that the Crimson Tide lost to Auburn after being ahead by such a large margin, DISGRACEFUL! No Bowl for you! Also, Boise State losing…TO FUCKING Nevada?! The BCS is looking weirder every week with these upsets man. As long as my Oregon Ducks & TCU Frogs stay on top, I’m cool though. Other notable wins:

Arkansas over LSU: YEAH!
Oklahoma over Oklahoma State: Damn! OK State are the REAL Cowboys!
Ohio State over Michigan: Talk about a beat down, YIKES!
Georgia over Georgia Tech: What a battle!

But this weekend is the BIG game: Auburn vs South Carolina! OH YEAH!

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:22 PM

@ Flea: Every single analyst in the pregame picked the Eagles. Postgame, they all dickrode the Bears. Fucking groupthink. Chicago is for real. Like I said, even as a fan I had my doubts before the season – knew the talent was there but Lovie had kinda fallen off as a coach and I wasn’t sure he would be LOVIE again because he been coaching soft the last few seasons. But he’s been on-point all season, much to the chagrin of the Grabowski Bears fans here. Chicago is for real though. Still got tough games ahead (@ Childress-free Vikings, @ GB to end the season, home against Pats and Jets) but I like our chances to go at least 2-2 or 3-1 in those 4 games, beat Detroit next week, sitting at 11-12 wins by end of season. It helps that those games against the Pats and Jets are at the crib, Chi is always a beast to play at home in December regardless of record – a winning Chi even moreso, *Hulk Hogan voice* TOM BRADY, BRETT FARVE, SANCHEZ, RODGERS, CHICAGOMANIA IS COMING FOR YOU BROTHER!!”

By: P.S.A

11.29.2010 @ 12:25 PM

Lovie Smith haters can go choke on a fish stick.

DA BEAAAARRRRSSSSS!!!!

and im a Boys’ fan too…got a call from my fam out in Dallas and they were in tears after Roy’s botched fumble…heartbreaking. I say Jason Garrett for head coach though…he’s lit a fire on the Boys’ asses so far…only good things can come out of that.

but Dez Bryant ALMOST killed me in fantasy (Thank YOU Peyton Hillis and Dwayne Bowe!!! haha).

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:26 PM

@ G: Oh word, lol, that feature could have potential! I know I’m not the only degenerate reading/commenting (or lurking) around this here TSS lol.

————————————————————————————————————————

Anybody watch the Grey Cup? Me neither! Haha!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

lmao

By: 500K Flea

11.29.2010 @ 12:28 PM

@ El Rosado: Haha! True that, those analysts make me sick when their collective dick-riding transforms into praise and admiration in a matter of seconds. Since your the Gambling Guru ’round these parts, who wins tonight: The Cardinals or the 49ers? Both teams seem desperate and hungry!

By: P.S.A

11.29.2010 @ 12:29 PM

I’ll go on the record…Bears win every game from here on out. They have the means to do so…but I’ll give the Jets a win at most.

If the Bears can torch the Eagles through the air like Cutler then….then that does not bode well for the Pats’ soft pass defense.

Vikes, and them niggas that pack cheese for a living were handled earlier in the season and can be taken care of again.

Detroit will play hard, but just 2-3 skill position players away from being in playoff contention.

Im just nervous about the JETS. but is certainly doable. 13-3, BEAR DOWWWWWWWWN!!!!!

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:32 PM

I’m glad Boise State lost. Nevada is the first decent team they played since V-Tech on opening weekend and they couldn’t handle it. Hopefully that helps to shut up all the mothafuckas crying that the BCS favors schools from power conferences and poor little Boise or Utah (pre-L’s) or TCU should be in because they went undefeated and blew out a bunch of high school teams. Fuccouttahere! Of course the BCS is gonna favor power schools, especially those from the SEC, Big 10, and Big 12. Those schools gotta go through the fire to comeout undefeated or with even one-loss. I’d like to see Boise try to play in any of those conferences, they’d win 6-7 games MAX. Maybe 8 in the Pac-10, which is down overall this year but still has two legit top-10 squads. Wanna crash the BCS title game? Join a real conference.

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:37 PM

@ Flea: Analysts can never admit being wrong, they just shift their angle to make themselves look good.

As for tonight, I like the Cardinals. They play better at home, especially on D, their crowd punps them up and gives a legit homegirls advantage so they’ll be charged to go, and they’re listed as underdogs, so even though I don’t think they’re all that better than SF, the combo of MNF home game + Dog getting the point makes them the bet I’d rather back.

By: P.S.A

11.29.2010 @ 12:40 PM

I wouldnt say Boise or TCU would only win 6-8 games max. their kicker lost that game for them really.

they are the exception to the rule. They could hang with the power conferences. However, i cant defend their strength of schedules though.

I feel Wisco should be ahead of TCU cuz of the competition the Big Ten has this year. But on a neutral field (most likely Rose Bowl), I wouldnt call it an automatic win for the Badgers against the Horned Frogs.

give these lil’s a chance and see what happens. bet many would be surprised at the results.

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:43 PM

What’s really sad about tonights MNF game(besides the fact I’ll be watching these busters) is the winner will be 4-7 and STILL only a game back of first place in the NFC West. Shit, the loser will only be 2 back. Fucking pathethic. Goodell needs to intervene and rule that if you don’t win at least 9 games, you can’t be a division champ. Some 7 or maybe 8 win scrubbery is gonna win this division while a quality team from a better division with 9-10, maybe 11 wins out the Bears/Buccaneers/Eagles/Falcons/Giants/Packers/Saints group will be home. Wackness.

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 12:53 PM

@ PSA: Boise was up by 17 and let Nevada comeback to tie. The D and their offensive playcalling lost that game for them in the 2nd-half. It should have never come to a FG in the first place, they were in control for the first 40-something minutes and fell apart. The D collapsed and the offensive playcalling went from being aggressive to timid, instead of playing to win they were playing not to lose and that opened the door for Nevada.

As for the bowl piece, yea they might play tough in 1-game on a neutral field, but I’m talking if they had to play a whole season against these power schools on their fields (and of course at Boise too) – pssssh….c’mon man. They’d get manhandled. If they can’t handle Nevada on the road they definitely ain’t winning road games over the course of a season against the SEC, Big 10, etc. That bowl game/neutral site stuff is a small sample size. Anything can happen in one game. Over a full season though they’d be exposed.

By: naciremaBK

11.29.2010 @ 12:56 PM

Rams last season 1-15

Rams this season 5-6 (so far)

Bradford = Rookie of the year

By: Phillip D. Blunts III

11.29.2010 @ 1:00 PM

@ Athrin… for real. Its one thing to drop A pass, but if you can’t catch the ball every second time its thrown to you , all the praying in the world can’t help you.

*voice heard from over in Turkey*

“We’re talking about practise! Practise!”

@ Flea…

My fair city was hosting the Ghey Cup, and I don’t know too many people who gave a shit. I tried watching, but it turned into an MLB-style post-and most of the game nap.

By: PandasNeedRedskinsToStopBeingTerrible

11.29.2010 @ 1:23 PM

courtney finnigan was real lucky the ref was there to be his mom, cuz andre was treating him like a redheaded step child.

redskins… really…

called the bears game… figured the eagles would overlook them.

falcons or eagles v. jets, pats, or chargers in the super bowl.

By: PandasNeedRedskinsToStopBeingTerrible

11.29.2010 @ 1:24 PM

by the way… the bears are the only 7-3 team that will be overlooked on a regular basis… mainly because i dont think they are a playoff caliber team

By: Rome Brown

11.29.2010 @ 1:27 PM

El Ro and Flea, don’t forget that Cutler has spent more time on his back than veteran prostitute. The offense isn’t all that great. If that running game isn’t working the Bears ain’t shit.

Now to my Falcons…

I’m happy about the 9-2 record, but honestly we are suspect too. Our defense is porous and the tackling is shoddy. No matter what the records say, the Eagles are still the best team in the NFC.

By: 500K Flea

11.29.2010 @ 1:29 PM

@ El Rosado: I think that Arkansas & Oklahoma State are the best teams, with TCU being a close third. Overall, Oregon is the most dangerous but as you said it would be interesting to change up these teams schedules and see how they fare. Some of the Top 25 have had it waaay too easy this season, in my opinion.

By: Bigga Aka The coolest man on TSS

11.29.2010 @ 1:33 PM

Peyton Hillis = Avalanche

==================================================================

Hillis is the Juggernaut, once he start moving foward he can not be stopped.

Johnson from the Bills is bugging out, it’s God’s fault you got hands of stone…Speaking of Hands of Stone Andre Johnson beat the shit of of Finnegan. And all finegan could do is use his hands for Clapping. lol

Flea: The Giants decided to play in the second half and the pass rush put some hits on Gerrard; but the fact they went away from their running game made me think Del Rio is related to Del Negro. And Del in a coach’s name means they suck at coaching. lol S/O to the Real BAWSE Kevin BOSS!!!

By: 500K Flea

11.29.2010 @ 1:36 PM

Cutler has spent more time on his back than veteran prostitute.
================================================================
LMFAO! True, he got sacked like 5 times yesterday! He needs better protection from his O-Line or else he’s not going to last the season. I beg to differ in regard to the Bears offense because Jay Cutler can be an effective passer (occasionally) provided that he doesn’t get sacked! lol. Your Falcons are another team that don’t get the respect that they deserve! I saw that game against the Packers and all I can say is WHOA!

By: complexone

11.29.2010 @ 1:50 PM

Who you like tonight? I usually like to bet just the 1st half. Too much bullshit can go on at ends of games to fuck over points.

I took Cards (Even) and over 20.

I’m done with some extra TSS advice tho.

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 1:50 PM

@ pandas: 8-3…2 wins over “playoff-caliber” teams (everyone points to GB penalties as the reason they lost but about 10 of those penalties were either holding by O-linemen against Peppers because that was the only way they’d stop him from smashing Rodgers or false starts against linemen matche up against Peppers that were terrified of him dashing off the line and killing the QB, so, yea). A 3rd-win over Dallas in week 2 back when everyone thought Dallas was a contender. Manhandled the Vikings (they’re down this year, but still, everyone thought they’d smash Chicago and devastate the Bears o-line…didn’t happen. Traveled to Miami on a Thursday and won on a short week. Granted Miami was down to their 3rd QB but again all the “experts” had them winning, even Vegas had them listed as favorites. The Bears keep beating teams they’re supposed to lose against according to the experts, 2 of which are playoff-bound, 2 of which, struggles aside, have rosters that everyone says are more talented. And the Bears keep on piling up W’s regardless. The D and special teams have been top-5 all season and the offense is starting to get into a groove the last month of the season with room to improve and peak when it matters. Keep doubting, we’ll see what’s up come January.

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 2:00 PM

@ Rome: The Bears offense isn’t great, but with the D and special teams playing lights-out the offense doesn’t have to be great, just good will do. And for the last month or so it’s been good. The running game has been working all season, the problem was Martz was only running the ball 40% of the time the first 7 games, creating an imbalance. The last 4 he’s having them run 54% of the time and the team has taken off. Besides, aside from maybe the Saints, Colts, and Pats, there isn’t any team in the NFL that can have prolonged success without a consistent running game, so your statement can apply to virtually the entire league – your Falcons included.

On paper, the Eagles definitely have the most talent in the NFC, but games are played on the field, which is why I can’t say they’re the best. Especially with Andy Reid at coach. He is known for fucking things up with clock management. I truly think the NFC is going to run through whatever team lands the 1-seed because all the top teams are so good at home. If your Falcons hold on, they’re SB-bound, but they still got some tough games ahead so we’ll see. If not, the Packers, Bears, and Saints all are legit threats if they claim the 1-seed, those are all difficult places to win at in January.

By: 500K Flea

11.29.2010 @ 2:25 PM

@ Bigga: Haha! You’re going to hell for that one! Del Negro/Del Rio? LMFAO! Boss is the BAWSE for sure, nuff respect to the dude. When the Giants defense wakes up and gets actve, teams had best be careful! RESPECT THE FOOTBALL GIANTS!

By: PandasNeedRedskinsToStopBeingTerrible

11.29.2010 @ 2:43 PM

@El Rosado

you lost to the Redskins.

By: nevaRWilliams

11.29.2010 @ 2:52 PM

@ bigga

there’s a hillis/juggernaut shirt on ilthy.com

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 3:03 PM

@ Pandas: and? So did the (super bowl bound you say) Eagles. As did the Packers. The Saints lost to the Cardinals AND Browns. Pats lost to the Browns too. So what’s your point? It’s the NFL, parity always happens and any team can lose any day.

Hell, this alone demonstrates it. Starting from the falcons and going clockwise, every team here has beat the team to it’s left this season.

redskins v. eagles is an nfc east matchup. we lost if maclin hangs on. we lose to the packers if the helmet to helmet call is made in OT.

the main thing though is that out of Jay Cutler, Matt Forte, Johnny Knox, Devin Hester, Earl Bennett, and Greg Olsen there isnt a single good player in my opinion. If you guys can avoid a complete collapse you should finish with the same record as the Packers which i think leaves you the tie break. either way, i dont see a playoff win. I see a Jake Delhomme performance for Jay Cutler in the playoffs. Best of luck though. As you said, parity is especially prevalent this year

By: PandasNeedRedskinsToStopBeingTerrible

11.29.2010 @ 3:37 PM

*parity is especially prevalent everywhere except the afc east*

By: PandasNeedElClassicoToStopBeingElCarajo

11.29.2010 @ 3:42 PM

Effing Barcelona.

By: complexone

11.29.2010 @ 4:05 PM

I’m *down* for some TSS advice.

Sorry, that typo made me sound like an asshole

By: El Rosado

11.29.2010 @ 4:07 PM

Pandas: if…if…if…if alot of things, but if didn’t happen.

Cutler has a 90.4 QB rating, completing 62% of his passes, and averaging 231 yards passing per game, a number that’s somewhat flawed because he got knocked out the giants game so it’d really be around 245-250.

Forte is gonna finish the year with around 1800 yards or more oR more combined rushing and recieivng and 10+ TD’s and that’s with him only getting 60% of the work because they rotate Chester Taylor in.

Knox is averaging 18.5 yards per catch and on pace for 1,000+ in a balanced offense. And his
numbers would be higher if not for the game cutler was hurt in and subsequent game he
missed with a concussion.

Hester has been a beast on kick returns this year and is at least now an average WR and not a bad secondary option.

Olsen is money in the red zone and moves the chains for first downs.

Earl Bennett is a chain mover too.

I’m not saying we’re elite offensively but the sum is definitely better then the individual parts. Knox and Forte been getting off all season and Olsen/Bennett been consistent. So saying there are no good players doesn’t make sense unless it’s coming from someone that’s bitter and angry over their redskins sucking it up and knowing they’ll suck for the next few years…hahaha

By: PandasNeedElClassicoToStopBeingElCarajo

11.29.2010 @ 4:15 PM

So saying there are no good players doesn’t make sense unless it’s coming from someone that’s bitter and angry over their redskins sucking it up and knowing they’ll suck for the next few years
=========================================
see thats where you wrong buddy. I have Forte’s inconsistent ass on my fantasy team ALONG with dealing with the fact that the Redskins will never get better because we are allergic to draft picks.

In all seriousness, I’ve seen you all play three games this year.. Cowboys, Us, and Buffalo… and I wasn’t impressed with what i saw. yes you were 2-1 in those games, but the playoffs are a different beast all together. Im not saying you arent deserving of a playoff spot, I just dont see Cutler getting it done when it truly matters. Someone who throws that many BAD picks is bound to make a mistake in a pressure situation. Just ask Bert Farve or the Saints defense. That is why the games are played though.. you never know