The Argument Against Richard Gere

Pretty boys overstepping their boundaries

Not all pieces of male eye candy, however, display the vision and restraint that Grant does. There are a few overambitious bad seeds who overstep the boundaries of their talent and attempt to play androids or historical figures, resulting in excruciatingly bad movies that your girlfriend will drag you to simply because they are in it. Some examples that spring to mind are Jude Law and Matthew McConaughey, but the focus of the present argument is Richard Gere. Gere made his name playing a man-whore in American Gigolo and a sexy guy in uniform in An Officer and a Gentleman, and these kind of roles worked, so he stuck with them. Pretty Woman was an enormous hit that led to more enormous hits like Runaway Bride, but somewhere along this time line, Gere's ego began to outpace his better judgment and he decided to expand his repertoire. You can see some of the results in the graph below.

The conclusion: Richard Gere was not destined to play a sniper in The Jackal or a reporter in The Mothman Prophecies. He was destined to play a good-looking, crinkle-eyed doctor, as he did so well in Dr. T and the Women and Final Analysis, and as he will again this September in Nights in Rodanthe. So there is no reason for him to continue wasting our time and other peoples' money by clumsily executing roles not meant for him, and it his persistent determination to continue doing so that turns men against him.

So there you have AM's argument against Richard Gere. It is here for you to use, so please do so — we can guarantee that your girlfriend will give you the opportunity soon enough. Know, however, that your referencing it may be taken as further evidence of your jealousy, just as my taking the time to actually make these graphs will be interpreted as testament to mine.