Have you ever created a vision board to help you reach an important goal in your life such as lose weight, reach a certain level of income or meet the love of your life? Vision Boards became wildly popularized at the height of The Secret fame and as the public became familiar with the idea of the Law of Attraction, which essentially "the idea that whatever we give a lot of attention to will become part of our lives. The theory likens us to magnets that are constantly attracting what we think about [1].

Could this be a tool you could use to ditch your fear of childbirth and create a positive and satisfying experience? We think so!

Just as clothing has evolved from fig leaves to funky leggings, and people were once convinced the world was flat, opinions and trends regarding procreation shift as well. More recently we’ve seen trends that have made a way for informed consent and refusal, evidence-based medical care, promotion of the golden hour, and now: value-based health care promoting shared decision-making.

“The gap between the way many patients wish healthcare decisions could be made and the way these decisions are actually made is tremendous. According to a 2014 survey conducted by the Altarum Institute, nearly all patients expect to be in control of medical decisions. Only 7% of adult, nonelderly patients wanted their physicians to be in the lead role.2 Despite this clear preference, the same survey found that the vast majority of patients let the doctor take charge of care decisions nonetheless...

As a birth worker and adult managing ADHD, I've found myself drawn to methodical and mindful activities that require me to slow down and pay attention. It's healing to the mind that is focused on EVERYTHING ALL. THE. TIME. And the rewards of working and cultivating things are so very sweet. But as a doula and childbirth educator for a decade (I celebrate 10 years with DONA International this month!), I find even more meaning in the patience and awareness these activities cultivate in me.

Understand that the last weeks of pregnancy are a special time- an in-between. Time seems to expand and drag on. Sometimes interminably. But it’s a special time even a sacred time, this in-between. One that we tend not to appreciate as much as we could.

Is infant formula a safe substitute for breast milk? What formula is best for my baby? Do I really have to boil water or sterilize bottles? What are the dos and don'ts in preparing powdered formula?

You may be reading this article because you’re concerned about safety and want to know if you are unknowingly putting your baby at risk. Maybe your knee jerk reaction is to assume you’re about to read a super judgy blog post from some know-it-all, holier-than-thou doula shaming you for your choice to supplement or cease breastfeeding.

Typically, when people talk about what women and families want during the childbirth process, they usually mean the medical interventions involved in childbirth. I have found that focusing on these objectives alone are only part of the puzzle of helping women achieve a positive and satisfying childbirth experience. The part of the puzzle many have missed has to do with the intrinsic values a woman or a woman and her partner hold that guide most of the decisions in their lives. I believe the five things women want in childbirth are the key to helping us put the ownership of birth back in the hands of mothers and improve childbirth experiences. I have found that a values-based approach to birth planning helps bridge the gap and allows to families gain ownership (rather than control) in the birthing process...

As mothers who are not childbirth experts, we depend on medical professionals and other knowledgeable sources to help guide us in making the best choices for ourselves during pregnancy and childbirth. But, in looking to others for help, are you inadvertently giving away your decision-making power? To whom does your birth belong?

Most of us have imagined the day we would become parents from a very young age. We do so many things that seem to come naturally to us in life, like falling in love, and cultivating a desire to get pregnant and grow a family. It's like we just can't help it! But what about when the baby actually gets here? Even if you have cared for other children in your life, few of us have even held newborns until we hold our own. You may be asking yourself, "How will I know what to do when my baby is born?"

I believe that more women need to know about the full spectrum of maternal care when preparing for birth. Your journey to motherhood is not only about birth; it's about your story. Whatever comes, how you prepare will directly impact your entire life in big and small ways. The smartest thing you can do is prepare to be whole.

The problem in choices in childbirth is they don’t make much sense if you don’t understand them. What this means in the childbirth arena is that it’s hard to decide whether or not you want something if you don’t know the risks, benefits and if, when, why, where and how it might be beneficial to you. The use of forceps might sound like a medieval torture device until you know they could save your baby’s life without the turmoil of cesarean as major abdominal surgery. When considering what kind of childbirth education you will pursue, be sure you are able to gain information about your choices in a way you can understand and assimilate into your worldview.

There are as many opinions about childbirth as there are people on the planet. The truth is, there is no right and wrong in childbirth; there is only what's right for you! But just how exactly do you find out what's right for you when there are so many options? Wouldn't it be great if there was a one-size-fits-all childbirth education curriculum so you could be guaranteed that you would get just exactly what you need out of it or at least know which way to go to find what you do need? If you are a birth professional, wouldn't it be great if you had a tool that you could use with every client to help them get the results they need? Sound like unicorns and rainbows? It might not be as far from reality as you think!

So, what gives? How can a woman still have a positive birth experience even when things don't go as planned? How can I as a childbirth educator and doula in Tulsa, Oklahoma ensure my students and clients have the most satisfying experience possible, when I cannot guarantee outcome or mode (vaginal or cesarean) of delivery? Well, that's where my divorce comes in...

During pregnancy with my first child, I read everything I could get my hands on regarding pregnancy and childbirth. I took a twelve week natural childbirth class and befriended Doulas and other women who had home births. I practiced relaxation and made a plan with my then husband. I THOUGHT I would want to be touched, massaged, caressed, held and verbally encouraged throughout the process of labor and childbirth. So, naturally that is what I planned for. Little did I know, Nature had a different plan.

There's something I do with many of my clients in labor. As a Birth Doula, I have the privilege of accompanying women and their families in that incredible, powerful, lonely, uncharted, spiritual, challenging and exhilarating journey called childbirth. Having been down the road many times before, I know what's coming. I may not know every stick and rock on the path, or what the weather will be like, but I know what is there, and I know what is at stake.

I've learned in my seven years working as a Birth Doula in Tulsa and surrounding areas that it's not the easiest question to answer. Sometimes we answer that question with a response based on what others want for us. Sometimes we answer based on guilt and assumptions of what we THINK we should want, or even what we WISHED we wanted. The problem with each of those scenarios is that they all create immense internal and external conflict.

Your birth experience, TM

417 west san diego st. broken arrow, OK 74011

usa | 918.894.1627 | missy@yourbirthexperience.com

Your Birth Experience, TM is a subsidiary of Missy David Enterprises, LLC. Your Birth Experience is trademarked and copyrighted by Missy Boudiette. All rights reserved.

Your Birth Experience Childbirth Education Curriculum and Birth and Postpartum Doula Training is a system developed by Missy Boudiette BS, CD(DONA) in order to empower expectant mothers and their families to envision, prepare for and achieve the birth, breastfeeding and baby experience they desire. Your Birth Experience, TM equips childbirth professionals to connect with their clients, identify needs and equip them with the resources necessary to achieve their goals.