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I consider myself to be a professional imitator of adulthood. I pretend all the bells and whistles that come with the job. I work hard at letting people believe I am a well adjusted adult. This means I don’t take it lightly when I have decided to start this article like this:

HOLY. FREEGIN. BALLS. BUY THIS GAME! BUY IT STEAL IT! BORROW IT! I beat it last night. It is absolutely everything I could ever want in a video game. You want side quests? BAM! They’re there buddy. You want loyalty to the brand? WUBAM!! No problem! You want continuity!!! HELLBAHM! It lands in your face like a hot steamy butter croissant from mother fluffin Pillsbury! This is the only game I have hungered for as badly as the remake of Final Fantasy 7. I have wanted to marry people over tattoos of this game!

I’m fairly certain I covered this in the last article I wrote. I am here solely to reassure you, this is a game worth your money. You remember the infuriating camera mechanic of both OoT and Majora’s mask? Gone. Intuitive camera angles for everybody!! And don’t be shifty and pretend you like that because of the added difficulty. It wasn’t an intentional part of the game and you’re just trying to sound like a purist. That’s stupid and so are your opinions. Gaming is the collective of disenfranchised in a non judgmental society. We love everybody. Even people who fit in high school. Knock it off. The worst part of this game was that it ended.

With smooth fluid controls, a graphical upgrade, and a kidney punch straight to the feels there is not one reason I can think of that would deter you from purchasing this game. Old fans of the game are going to fall in love all over again. New fans, look I know its a departure but relax you got ten games to fight Gannon/ what ever he turns into. Enjoy a game where you have something else to do! This is possibly the most original title in the entire series. I’ve heard plenty of complaints about the whole three day system. You want to know how to beat that? It’s super simple and you can do it like twenty minutes after starting the game. Just save your game. Once your regain kid link form run to Romani ranch and save. The grass th3dere gives up anything you could lose during time travel at least at first.

If you have a 3DS and not this game, you are missing out. Just try it.

Where do I begin? I have been waiting for this remake for fifteen years. There is no denying that I am a rabid legend of Zelda fan and will play just about any game they make. Out of all the games on all the platforms Majora’s mask remains my favorite. Any way you cut it this game is amazing.

First lets look at my favorite angle. The game theorist angle. It is a long held belief that this game is in reality the story of the Hero of Time’s death. Starting from the drop into the vast pit and following through the several stages and boss battles this theory contends that Link has died and is in a limbo state before crossing over into the afterworld. The conflict of the game and most of the puzzles do bear striking resemblances to the stages of grief and a lot of symbolism throughout seems to support the theory. Even without blatantly stating that this game is about death and that everyone you meet is dead and that this is all some kind of lesser hell this game is creepy. The dark over tones, the subject matter, that freaky mask salesman. Everything about this game is darker and unusual. The resemblance of certain characters to parallels in Ocarina of Time is meant to represent dreams conjured by links dying mind or in an even darker but less substantiated claim, the ghosts of people Link never got to meet. The last and arguably most convincing evidence is the fact that Nintendo has asserted that the ghost in twilight princess is indeed the remains of the Hero of Time and that he died with his life unfulfilled. Being that I am hopelessly drawn to the creepy and darker things in life this suits me quite nicely.

On the other hand we have the people who are surprisingly more negative than I am. They believe that the game was thrown together quickly and that the similarities between characters is simply the result of Nintendo not having time to create new characters. They assert that Majora’s Mask is simply the left over data that didn’t get used by Ocarina of Time thrown together and pushed out the door for Nintendo to try and make an extra dollar or two. Now I may not subscribe to this theory but I can certainly appreciate it because if that is indeed the truth then this is the most well put together last minute bluff I have ever seen. I have built my entire academic career out of doing things haphazardly at the last minute with whatever was lying around. You’re telling me that this game is essentially the same thing? How could I not love that?

When this brand new version hit the market I jumped at the chance to get my hands on it, and missed. The game sold out state wide and I had to wait a week to get it. They released a special Majora’s mask edition new 3ds and that sold out within an hour. At the time of this article you can’t find this 3ds for less than five hundred dollars right now! What the hell Nintendo?

I haven’t even taken on the first boss yet and I am absolutely in love with everything about this game. Everything is smoother, the controls, the graphics, the music. This truly is an improvement in every way. The game is highly entertaining and the side quests are just as engaging as ever. I can’t wait to really get into the meat of this game. Stay tuned for updates.

Let me lead off by saying I was never a power rangers fan. When I was young my parents refused to let me watch it. When I was impressionable I just touted my parents opinions of the show. Then when I’d grown enough to think for myself I found the show to be unapologetically crappy. Keep all that in mind when I tell you, foJidhgsgdhadsgh’ljhskjdffdnvc!!!!! YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHORT!!!! Someone needs to make this into a full film right now! I’m not even going to drag this out. This was directed by Joseph Kahn. A director who has mostly worked on music videos. His most famous film credit is Torque. I know I know! Ignore that. Just check this out: CLICK IT!!

Adi Shankar is the producer of this bootleg and is also responsible for two of my other favorite fan films about Venom and The Punisher You should probably check this out first actually: TIME FOR A SUPA CLICK!!!

On behalf of myself and all my imaginary friends thank you Adi Shankar.

Okay two things. Everyone needs to go check out Vidar on kickstarter right now. Seriously. They have three days left to go and this game is absolutely amazing. This is an immersive rich RPG with a truly fantastic twist. Everyone dies. That isn’t to say no matter what you do you end up losing, or that the point of the game is to die. No, you are on a quest to save the village of Vidar from a monstrous beast. You will need to assist the town folk in side quests in order to accomplish this goal. Sounds pretty straight forward yeah? Well here’s the kicker. The town’s people all live interconnected lives. They all have relationships to one another. Some or obvious while others are subtle. The monster you are trying to defeat randomly kills a town’s person a night. This random generation of kills changes everything from interactions to available quests. It graciously pays homage to all the dungeon classic puzzles we grew up with as kids, or are discovering now if you’re part of the younger of our species. Vidar also has random dungeon generators so it’s a different challenge every time you play the game. Lately I’ve been noticing a trend with indie games. They are all trying to develop an engaging way to keep their games relevant and playable by changing key elements in order to make their game feel fresh every time you play. Personally I think that’s fantastic especially when you don’t have the same clout as the AAA industry. Vidar from what I can tell isn’t a game that looks and feels new every time you start over. It IS a new game every time you start over. With a constantly evolving narrative and changing environment you have the opportunity to open a new world and experience a new story every single time. There is so much intricacy in this game and so much effort has gone into its creation it deserves a shot.

On top of all that it’s named after one of the most badass Norse gods of all time. Tiny mythology lesson for you, Vidar was a son of Odin. He was the guy the other gods called on when everything went to hell. Thor can’t pick something up? Call Vidar. Loki acting like an ass? Call Vidar. Odin get eaten by a giant wolf that is threatening to eat the cosmos and end existence forever? CALL VIDAR! This guy was literally the strong silent type. He never spoke. He was also described as having a thick heavy leather shoe. Supposedly created from the collected scraps of discarded toes and heels of everyone else’s shoes from the history of like forever. Sounds funny right? Big silent guy with what could today be considered a club foot. This guy steps into Fenrir’s mouth. Stamps down with that big damn shoe on Fenrir’s lower jaw and then with his bare hands, rips Fenrir’s head off! Separates the upper and lower jaw like it was nothing. Then he rides out Ragnorak like it’s no big deal, and settles down in the field where Asgard used to be and just chills. We have a chance to play a game named after this guy!

I want to give credit where credit is due here. I originally found out about this game over at Paige Six’s blog. You should absolutely check it out sometime. Also clearly check out http://thisisanothercastle.com/

And of course as always you should follow my other bog as well: CLICK IT!

Okay Whupbam! Done. Come on people. Let’s get this game across the finish line!

Oh wait! Wait wait hold on. Come back! The second thing, I almost forgot. Uhm my wordpress seems to be in Czech or Scandinavian or something and I don’t read either language. I have no idea how this happened or how to fix it. What the hell? @_@

There is no introduction I can supply that will do this project justice. Even if I were to track all the readers of this post and send each and every one of you two elephants, three pyro-technicians and four clowns engaged in a grudge match to the death straight to your front doorstep it would fall shamefully short of the fanfare that this game deserves.

As usual I am David, or Mr. Grymm as nobody is more familiar with. My job is to make you understand why you need to crave this game. By the time this is over you will feel it in your soul that you have to have this game.

Hailing from Seattle Washington, the same origin of one of musics most revolutionary musicians of all time Kenny G. Seriously though I looked it up, the entire grunge movement came from Seattle. Like I get you expected me to say Curt Cobain and Nirvana but you could put a blindfold on and throw a dart at a wall of grunge bands and no matter what you hit it’d be a band from Seattle. Anyway Starr Mazer is of Don Thacker’s baby. Don is the co-founder of Imagos softworks, which is the company that is helping to bring us the amazement that is Starr Mazer. Don Thacker also happens to be a director with nine films to his credit. He’s and Imagos are responsible for Motivational Growth which if this were a film review I’d be telling you to shove that in your face right now. This is not a film review however and therefore I don’t officially care, officially.

Seriously look at that! How do you not want to just get all over that right now!

This is where things get nommy. Starr Mazer isn’t just another retro throw back neo arcade nostalgia game. Even if it was, who could hate on that? Those games are epic. Starr Mazer is an epic infusion of the point and click genre and the horizontal side scrolling shoot em up genre. If any of those are unclear think of Maniac Mansion and Myst for your P.N.C. references. Remember Myst? That game that made you tear their hair out in the nineties? That game was single handedly responsible for more computer related foot injuries than any other of that decade. As for the Shmups think of Gradius, or R-type.

If you were to take the absolute best things of those genres and throw on some Barry White you still wouldn’t get this perfect love child because it takes it even further than that!

They went dusted off two of the most underrated genres of all time. They synthesized them together into some beautiful highly polished gaming experience, and introduced something they’re calling open middled gameplay. Where the beginning and ends of each scene all flow flawlessly together but your choices in the middle of these scenes affects the order and outcome of these scenes. With this method they have essentially created a different game every time you play it.

Seriously. Get on Kickstarter fund this while you still have a chance, find this, and when you can play this game!