Oh
Germany, what on earth are you thinking these days, I wouldn't want you
to go down the UK route. But that's what you're doing with Levina and her
dirge "Perfect Life", which doesn't even make sense if you can
bring yourself to hear it here

The Teutons
have entered another twin-named lassie with a twist. Sure "Jamie-Lee"
may have one of those peculiar Marmite English accents, but with "Ghost"
she has a bizarrely affecting bit of amateur fluff. More Shrooms than Evil
Dead, but if you see past her affected mangy manga nonsense you may like
it here

Ann Sophie will
be smiling through gritted teeth answering questions about not even being
the best ESC entrant in Germany in '15 with her song "Black Smoke".
It's a bit m'eh. The back story is a bit more interesting. The song can
be found here

Once you hear
"Is it right" you may be unsurprised to learn that Elaiza was
an amateur act who someohow managed to get past German professionals in
their NF. The quality wasn'y exactly high, but you can learn more about
her here

The
Tourist Guide says

"Curious about the country and the people? Discover
Germany on your trip through various regions, and enjoy everything from
the exciting hustle and bustle of the large cities to the cultural wonders.
Encounter a very special part of Europe!"

Berlin

"The new capital is booming, The place, where modern
architecture is redefining the skyline has a magical appeal. Berlin is
the current high light for tourists not only as a place for hip events
like the Love Parade, but also as a first-grade cultural metropolis like
the Philharmonics, the Berlin Film Festival “Berlinale” or
the musical “Cats”. The number of sights is unrivalled and
the offers for tourists are chameleonic as the city’s mentality."

A German priest has found a way to brew beer in his washing machine.
Michael Fey, 45, of Duisburg built a computer interface into the machine
to let it run an automatic brewing programme.
It consists of turning and heating, but no spinning, the Sueddeutsche
Zeitung reports.
"A priest without alcohol, that's the wrong combination," he
argued.
"Jesus didn't say, take this healthy camomile tea, he offered wine."
The priest brews 30 litres every six weeks, the legal limit for home brewing,
and says he was inspired by the tradition of monks who brewed beer in
a cauldron over a fire.
To imitate this technique, he opted for a toploader washing machine. Before
he started brewing, he ran it about 20 times to remove any soap residue.

A German man who
survived five days in the Alps in freezing temperatures by eating snow
has been fired because he missed work.
Aeronautical engineer Thomas Milnik received written notification of his
dismissal from Schroeder & Uehlken while doctors at the hospital were
deciding whether to amputate six of his frost-bitten toes.
Mr Milnik, from Berlin was air-lifted to safety in a helicopter he personally
equipped.
The 41-year-old hiker found himself stuck on the 2,962-metre-high Zugspitze,
one of the Alps' highest peaks, when a sudden snow storm swept in.
He was eventually rescued five days later when workers at a nearby research
station heard his cries for help and alarmed mountain rescue services.
Speaking from his hospital bed in Reutte, Tyrol, Milnik said: "I'm
a bit of an adventurer and definitely an outdoors man. I hate being indoors.
On weekends I usually try to get out and about."
Employer Schroeder & Uehlken, who dispatched the dismissal letter
to the hospital as soon as they found out what happened, rejected criticism
they were being unfair.

410CE
Rome overrun by the Visigoths, symbolizing fall of the Western Roman Empire.
c1000 Denmark invaded and defeated by German emperor Otto II. 962 Otto
I invaded Italy and was crowned Holy Roman Emperor. 1376 Rats were piped
out of Hamelin, Germany. 1517 Martin Luther nails his Ninety-five Thesis
to the door of the Wittenberg Palace All Saints' Church, signalling the
beginning of Protestantism. 1690 The clarinet was invented. 1889 Annie
Oakley, shoots ash off end of a cigarette held in the mouth by a young
German Kaiser Wilhelm II. 1914 Germany declares war on Russia. 1918 Germany
defeated, signs armistice. 1933 Adolf Hitler made chancellor. 1938 Kristallnacht
(Night of Broken Glass) sees orchestrated attacks on Jews and their property
as well as synagogues. 1939-1945 Invasion of Poland triggers World War
II. Millions of people of all ages, mostly Jews, die in the Holocaust.
1945 German army defeated. Allies divide Germany into occupation zones.
1955 West Germany joins Nato; East Germany joins the Warsaw Pact. 1961
Construction of the Berlin Wall. 1989 Berlin Wall is torn down. 1993 Germany
joins the Maastricht Treaty on European union. 2002 January - Euro replaces
DM. 2004 Tens of thousands protest in streets, over plans to cut unemployment
benefit and other welfare and labour reforms.

German firemen have destroyed a teenage driver's first ever car after
they mistook it for scrap and used it for practice. The fire fighters
from Hennef, near Bonn, spotted the teenager's pride and joy parked
alongside a scrap yard they thought it had been dumped. They set to
with hydraulic scissors and axes to cut the roof and doors off to practise
for freeing people from crashed cars. But the car had only been parked
and not dumped next to the junk yard.
The 19-year-old driver, who had just bought the car after passing his
test, said he had not even driven it yet as he was waiting to renew
the MOT.

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A German inventor says he's found a way to make cheap diesel fuel out
of dead cats.
Dr Christian Koch, 55, from Kleinhartmannsdorf, said his method uses
old tyres, weeds and animal cadavers.
They are heated up to 300 Celsius to filter out hydrocarbon which is
then turned into diesel by a catalytic converter.
He said the resulting "high quality bio-diesel" costs just
15 pence per litre.
Koch said the cadaver of a fully grown cat can produce 2.5 litres of
fuel - meaning around 20 cats are needed for a full tank.
He said: "I tank my car with my own diesel mixture and have driven
it for 105,000 miles without any problems."
Annelise Krauss of the Dresden Animal Protection Association blasted
Koch's new diesel though, saying: "This is as bad as experimenting
on animals."

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A German motorist has escaped unhurt after losing control of his car
in a car wash. The man wrecked both the car wash and his Volkswagen
estate in the accident in Braunschweig.
His foot slipped off the clutch, causing his car to shoot forward into
the path of one of the rollers. He broke another five rollers before
his car emerged on the other side of the 30-metre car wash before colliding
with steel-enforced wall.
He caused about £28,000 of damages, police said.

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Police in Germany have arrested a shopper who tried to get a refund
on two computers after allegedly replacing the working parts with potatoes.
Staff at the department store in Kaiserslautern called detectives after
the man complained that a machine he'd bought only hours before did
not work.
When they opened the computer they found it stuffed full of potatoes.
The bemused shop assistants gave the man a new machine free of charge.
But they became suspicious when the customer returned a short time later
with another computer - again filled with potatoes.
A spokesman said: "The second time he said he didn't need a computer
any more and asked for his money back in cash."
Computer technician Roman Zukoan said: "It is hard to imagine how
the potatoes could get into a computer's casing. When computers leave
the factory they are packed in plastic to prevent damage from condensation.
"If they are running for a long time they get hot and in theory
it would be possible to cook a potato in a computer, but who would try
that?"

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A German professor who went on a dream holiday to Costa Rica woke up
in an airport departure lounge to find his leg had been amputated. The
professor said he had gone to see a doctor at a hospital in San Jose
because his left foot was swollen. He said: "An aspirin usually
did the trick. I have had the problem before - it was nothing serious
- just something caused by my diabetes.
"When I got to the hospital they put me on a bed and I heard the
word amputate. I tried to protest, but before I knew it they had given
me drugs to black me out, and when I woke up I was at the departure
lounge.
"My suitcases were by my side - and then I realised my leg was
missing. I couldn't move, and when I checked my wallet I found that
£200 had been taken out and replaced with a receipt for the amputation.
"It was like a bad dream and I could not believe what had happened."
Professor Ronald Jurisch, 50, from Dessau in Sachsen-Anhalt, said the
holiday was booked for him by friends for his birthday as the trip of
a lifetime. After the operation, Prof Jurisch collapsed and was taken
to a private clinic where he was diagnosed with blood poisoning.
He said it was four weeks until a special medically equipped plane took
him back to Germany where he underwent 23 more operations to try and
repair the damage from the amputation.