Gosh, you know its hard for all us singles unicorns included. I know it does seem like we are more accepted than the single guy. But we are all human beings with feelings and emotions. I was married along time, and then when separated got into the lifestyle by a freak accident. Though i found it to be just what was right for me at this time in my life. We all have traits some good, some annoying, and some are just down right unacceptable! lol. I have had good experiences and bad ones with couples, and with single males. Shit happens, but no chemistry, then move on and still keep respect for peoples feelings and realize that sometimes it just doesnt click!

Pittsgrove NJ

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Whiny and bitter are both VERY unattractive traits.

:~

New Orleans LA

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we give single men a chance. But you wont get a chance with a whiney post like the op's

Louisville KY

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vrb, I can't tell if your rant is directed at me but I thought my posts were in agreement with yours. As to why my previous partner isn't on here with me, with all due respect, that is none of your business. Just as it would be out of line for me to ask why none of your former lovers/boyfriends etc. are no longer with you.

New Orleans LA

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I think that is a valid point. If a guy isn't having any success dating in the vanilla world and turns to a swinger site because he thinks it will be easier, he is bound to be disappointed and likely to be a turn off to the ladies and couples here because he feels "entitled". Just because they enjoy sharing themselves and their fantasies with other guys doesn't mean they aren't selective. Reminds me of the situation where a woman dresses provocatively and if she rejects a guys advances he will say, "Look how you're dressed, you know to want it!" And she replies, "Oh I do want to have sex, just not with you!"

New Orleans LA

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Well said vrb! You know I can honestly say that some guys just turn into pushy, rude, morons at gatherings. Yet one on one they are normal and you think they are cool to invite to a group thing, then all the sudden your looking at them astonished by their actions and words. I personally hate guys that assume they are going to play with female in the room. Now it sounds like Im bashing, but no Im really just telling it like it is! Your personality is the key to getting along at parties, dont drink too much cause you might turn into an asshole and you wont read the vibes. If your ego is fragile then dont even show up at my door, cause I will not nurture it. And to those I play with and love, Im so not talking about you babies!

Pittsgrove NJ

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VRB, a very interesting look at this situation some complain about, in some cases you are not far from the Crux of the Issues some bring to themselves .

Middletown NY

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Likewise I met a woman on a "regular" dating site years ago and we talked about our fantasies which led us here. We realized many of those fantasies together and while the relationship didn't work out, I am still enjoying an active lifestyle as a single guy. All I can say is make sure your profile is respectful and consistent with what the ladies (and couples) on this site are looking for. Read other posts so you know they don't want to hear how big you are or how good in bed you are. What they want is someone to want THEM, desire them, adore them and make THEIR fantasies come true. Of course, the bonus is, if you are on here for the right reason, that is also YOUR fantasy!

New Orleans LA

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Why can't you bring it up? We met on a vanilla dating site and talked about it during one of our first conversations. It turned out we had both participated in and enjoyed 3somes before we met. So, wanting to further explore the lifestyle was actually one of the things we had in common and something we now enjoy doing together. It might be difficult to bring up...sure...but isn't it worth it?

s72

Sunnyvale CA

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So, you're looking for a female swing partner or a girlfriend in the lifestyle? Or either?

Honestly, I don't know why you can't bring it up to with someone that you're dating. Most couples that swing didn't meet in the lifestyle. They got into it together, so someone brought it up.