I asked for forgiveness.

I asked for Forgivenessnot small forgiveness, as an act upon me. but big Forgivenessfor the powerto possess the abilitythe giftthe talentthe skillof Forgivenesswithin myself.

like an item on a wish listlike a line on a letter to Santalike a gift in my shopping cart

i asked.

to have Forgivenessfor them.for her. for him.

I often say, I don't know howi didn't take a class in iti haven't quite mastered itI need it given to meso I asked for Forgiveness. and waited. but nothing came.

I prayed for Forgivenessfor a veil to put upon melike a coat I can wear so I can feel it all differentlyso the world can be the samewith all its harsh windsand hot daysbut just a little more tolerable for my sensitive skinbecause as it is,I step outsideand all I feel is anger and rageunfairness and painso I prayed for the coatfor Forgiveness. to protect me from the elements. and i waited.but nothing came.

I begged for Forgiveness. I sat on the sidewalkI drew on my cardboard signand I asked everyone who passed bystrangersfriendsanyoneto drop Forgiveness into my cupwhisper the secrettell me what to dobecause I can't quite live like this anymore.

I tried with logicI tried with reasonI tried with putting myself in their shoesand thought maybe if I understand

if I just understand

maybe I'll be able to do this forgiveness thingjust like everyone else

I was approached by a girland she leaned in real closeand she whispered real soft

"I don't think it's a talent or a skill. I think it's the resultI think it's the outcomeof something within."

and as she walked awayshe handed me glassesthey didn't look like Forgivenessand they took no skill or talentto put them on.

"what are these?" I said.

"I think they might show you what you're looking for," she replied.

"are they Forgiveness?" I hoped.

she smiled at me, in a kind way. a way that told me I was wrongbut that I was still accepted. "do you think you'd get the resultwithout putting forth the effort?"

I shrugged and sighed.

"no, they're not Forgiveness," she said.

"they're Compassion.you have to do the workto get to Forgiveness. but these will help you along the way."