I'm so tired of seeing his half-shaven, age-swollen face stuffed behind a different colored helmet every year.

Seriously, Brett, just shoot the fucking horse in its head already. Your semi-senile back-and-forth inability to let football fade away has ruined the dream careers of younger, more spry, more passionate quarterbacks than yourself.

There's two things that make me hate football, even though I love it: John Madden and Brett Favre. I thought I got rid of both of them this year. Appears I was wrong. One of them can just skip training camp if they feel like it, 'cause they're a superstar awesome-a power quarterback!