Monday, November 15, 2010

Opinions Please

This is kind of a different post, but I've been thinking the past few days about being married. It seems like all you ever hear about lately is one broken marriage after another. It makes me wonder what those people were thinking, what could have been so bad, why can't they just work stuff out? But more than anything though it makes me admit to the fact that I probably take my marriage and my husband for granted more than I should. Obviously none of us have perfect marriages, and none of us are perfect people. . . but what can we do to show our spouses that we are grateful for them? Here's some things I've been thinking about, what do you think, what else can we do?

- Say thank you more often when he does the dishes, vacuums and cleans our entire bathrom from top to bottom

- Quit bugging him about how he should do his hair (ha)

- Stop to think before I say things that I'm joking about, because sometimes it can be offensive

- Be more patient with him and not try to coerce him into doing his school projects when all he really wants to do is ride his bike or relax for a while

- Continue to get ready, dress cute and look pretty for him (I haven't "let myself go" or anything, but for some reason I just don't care as much now that I'm married, which is bad!)

- Be slow to get upset but get over things fast

- Continue to tell him that I love him often

Those are just a few things that I could think of off the top of my head, I'm interested to know what others think, or what works for you. And even if you aren't married, still feel free to give suggestions!

You are on the right path in my opinion! Some of the things I've seen in my experience that drive me CRAZY is the notion of changing a spouse, hidden under the pretense of helping them reach their full potential?! Love him for him....his flaws and strengths. Remember that next time you get upset. I found it comes up more than I thought! I also feel Satan is so good at us making sure us is taken care of first. Does that make sense?! Just in small and simple ways I find myself thinking of me first. I feel like the more we think of our spouse the better. Third and last. Jason and I have always verbally and emotionally been under one "rule". It's us vs."them". So when it comes to sticky extended family situations. Our choice is clear. Even when it comes to our children. It's us vs. them. It keeps us united. It keeps us from focusing too much on the children and not enough on our relationship. just the fact you are mulling the question over and finding solutions...is the best path!

Best thing I read our first year of marriage and still to this day use some of the things I learned was "just for newlyweds". It's at least 15 years old...I looked at the Deseret Book web site and didn't see it. If you come across it...so worth your time. ;)

Excellent post Stacie! I echo the previous post in saying that I fully agree Satan does not want us to be happy with our husband. When I find myself beginning to complain about something Blakely does or becoming upset I realize that my reaction is exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to find fault in one another and to find ways to create contention in the household. We can not let him win!

-Continue to do small surprises for him like when we were still dating like leaving him notes and sneaking his favorite candy into his lunch.-Be excited to see him when he comes home from work.-Be his number one fan! Cheer him on in his work projects, or other hobbies.

Awesome suggestions!Here are some of mine I try to do:-Gush with gratitude. Seriously, I tell him thank you like 5 times when he does something nice. And then later I'll tell him again. -Tell him how manly I think he is. Not just in a macho way, but providing for our family, being a priesthood holder, etc.-Know that he NEVER wants to hurt me. This was hard our first year because I took everything SO personally, but now I know that he never, ever means to do anything hurtful on purpose and so it makes it easy to talk about and get over.-Just be happy. Honestly, being happy and telling your spouse that you are happy and he MAKES you happy is all he wants. That is his goal in life. Seriously, ask him. The sooner we realize it, the better off we'll be. YAY FOR MARRIAGE!! It is so the best. Glad to see you guys so happy :)