Crying by the Numbers

In the first year, a baby cries anywhere from 1-4 hours (probably more) a day. That is 365 to 1460 hours of crying in one year. If crying could be harnessed as an energy source, a baby could power a kegerator, a toaster oven, and a laptop all at the same time.

It is estimated that 1.3 calories are burned per minute of crying which means a one year old has burned anywhere from 28,500 to 114,000 calories wailing away in the first year of his/her life. Breast milk has roughly 20 calories per fluid ounce thus 1425 to 5700 ounces of breast milk were consumed to fuel a year of crying. Or if breast milk came in six-packs, that’s anywhere from 20 to 80 six packs.

Kids generally stop crying about “everything and anything” between the ages of two and a half to four years of age. My oldest is almost three and we haven’t had a cry-free day yet. That’s 912 to 1460 days in a row where crying is part of a parent’s daily soundtrack. If parents have two children two years apart like we did, there is the potential of half a decade or more of crying.

Wahh!

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Ryan Chin is the creator of, Without Rain There Can Be No Rainbows, a multimedia memoir about his teaching experience in New Zealand. Mr. Chin likes to call it a pet and teacher memoir sandwiched into an overseas adventure. The book is available at Amazonand locally at Powell’s Books. Mr. Chin keeps a stack on his dashboard for random giveaways. So if you see a Chinese guy driving a big white van with a yellow lab in the passenger seat, toss a steak in their window. He’ll give you a book and Big Head, the lab from down under, will give you a lick.