Saying that his government was “terribly sorry” about the way the former NFL superstar has been treated following his conviction on charges of armed robbery, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has agreed to pay $10 million to O.J. Simpson.

“Just like Omar Khadr, O.J. is the true victim,” said Trudeau, referring to the former Guantanamo detainee also given a $10 million payout by the Canadian government. “It is only fair that people arrested and imprisoned for their crimes are rewarded handsomely by the Canadian government.”

SNIPPPPPPPPPPPP

While Trudeau acknowledged that Simpson was not technically a Canadian, the fact that he played just minutes from the Canadian border in Buffalo, Trudeau said, gave Canada a responsibility to protect him.

I understand that Justin Beiber is getting a China/Canada reconciliation package for being shut out of China.

Justin Trudeau intoned today that a Canadian citizen is being unfairly and unjustly treated by the Communist nation and he just can't stand the idea that his namesake is going to lose revenues from not being able to tour China. He has his "backroom boys" drawing up a compensation package due to come out on the third Full Moon henceforth.

It will include estimations for lost residuals from interviews, photo shoots, swag, and I Beiber trinket sales.

Justin Trudeau is quoted as saying, "A true Canadian cause estimated at 10 percent of China's population base, and what is the population of China again, so approxiatemately $100 million dollars seems fair to Justin Beiber."

It's a sad day for Canadian citizens everywhere who have behave badly in public, especially famous Canadians. Imagine if other Canadians were treated unjustly by China! Look and weep on behalf of The Beib: