LOUISE PLACHTA: Now, where did I lose it?

If I knew where I lost it, I would just walk over and retrieve it, wouldn’t I?

The “it” in this case is my cellphone. I think that the last time I saw/handled it was two weeks ago, on a Thursday. I know that it hasn’t “gone missing,” I have misplaced or lost it!

First, since I am a worrywart, I was beside myself when I realized that I was without the phone. Second, and more importantly, I was concerned that the finder might be making crank calls to those whose names and phone numbers are on my address list.

I began the search. Did I leave in at the desk in the office where I volunteer on Thursday mornings? Maybe I left it on the bench in front of the Veterans Memorial Library where I waited for IRide.

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I checked with personnel at both locations. In each case, it was “Sorry, nothing has turned up. Good luck finding it.”

At home, I tried what everyone I talked with suggested:I called the cell from my land-based instrument. All I heard was my voice intoning, “If you’d like to leave a message, please do so after the tone. Thank you.”

I am worried (needlessly, I am told) about the battery running down andabout the phone ringing at inappropriate times, i.e., during a production at Bush Theatre or during a dental procedure, so it is turned off unless I am using it. Because of that idiosyncratic habit, I was unable to trace the whereabouts of the cellphone.

I did, however, leave a message, “Please call me back.” I hoped that the finder, if there were one, would call. We could then arrange for the lost “it” to be returned, with or without promise of a small reward.

The next step was to check purses and bags that I have not carried or handled for months. I went through the pockets of every jacket I own (even those hanging in the cedar closet), pulled out every drawer of every desk and bureau in the house. I hunted under every sofa cushion and found popcorn kernels, candy wrappers, and a post-it note, but no cellphone or pocket change. However, while I was at it, I decided to get the hand vacuum and clean up said debris.

I searched under the seats of my car (not an easy task). Still no cellphone. Three days of wondering and wandering about brought no positive results.

I called the cell again and left a message. By now, three days had gone by with no appreciable results. I grew weary and frustrated and then remembered something that my friend Bonnie says when she loses something. If I remember correctly, it’s

“Anthony, Anthony, look around. Something’s lost and must be found.” It’s a prayer to the patron saint of lost articles. At this point in the game, I would try almost anything; it was worth a try.

Another day passed without results so I conceded defeat, drove to the AT &T store, and asked an employee to check if there had been any activity on the phone since I last remember using it. The answer came back that no outgoing calls had been detected. That was reassuring.

The result of my visit is that I have a new “GoPhone.” Unlike several younger customers in the store, I did not opt for an iPhone, an iPad, or any of the other attractive (and more expensive) displayed instruments.

My replacement cost $16.89 and should serve me well although it’s smaller than the one I had. All that is left is for me to wade through the small print and struggle to learn to use my new acquisition. You may remember that I am technologically challenged. I am confident, though, that one of my brilliant grandsons will surely help his grandmother through the set-up maze.

Thus ends my tale of woe. In the next day or two, I will undoubtedly find the lost article (not the first, nor the last, I am certain). A friend suggested that if losing a cellphone is the worst that happens this year, I should consider myself lucky. Of course, she’s right.

I end this saga with the intention of making a good day for someone – a friend or stranger. Perhaps you can do the same.