One of the best things about Top Chef has always been expediency. No long-winded bios, just, "These are the competitors, this is what they did, these ones made the cut (haha) and the rest got axed." The season 10 opener stuck to those guidelines and the deadwood was quickly identified and discarded.

Judge Tom Collicchio went first and ran his crew through
basic kitchen tasks like filleting and portioning fish, stuffing and
shaping tortellini, breaking down a duck and cutting up a chicken.
Every contender screwed up at least one part of their assigned task.

There was bone in Anthony's duck breast ... and he used a paring knife for the job.

John and Micah mangled salmon and black bass.

Lizzie made perfect tortellini.

Jorel started filleting the chicken instead of cutting it up, making him seem unable to follow simple instructions.

But Tom let them stay so he could torture them as a group.

Amiable Emeril Lagasse was up next. All he asked of his charges was to make him some soup.

Josh,
Stephanie and Kristen concocted typical frou-frou soups all perfectly
pureed with exotic embellishments such as roasted corn, coconut and
thrice-poached lemon peel. Tina took the hearty route with a
chorizo/seafood blend and Jeffrey went with a watermelon/tomato
gazpacho. Emeril was sure the gazpacho wouldn't have time to chill but
he was so impressed when it was cold and delicious, he immediately sent
Jeffrey off to Seattle. Alas, Stephanie and Tina quickly got the boot
but Kristen and Josh got Top Chef aprons.

A
little juicy gossip was the best part of this competition. Kristen and
Stephanie revealed they worked together, lived in the same apartment
building (not apartment) and had matching tattoos of spoons on their
forearms. They were both quick to point out they were definitely not
lesbians ... and apparently Stephanie is also not a chef.

Next
we were back with Tom in the kitchen of his restaurant where his
(professional) chefs were cooking dinner for real restaurant patrons.
Oooo. The atmosphere was tense but the service was completed without any
"Kitchen Nightmares" moments. John aced the fish station and got his
Seattle papers. Jorel and Anthony had to pack their knives and Lizzie
and Michael were moved forward, albeit with a hint of trepidation in
Tom's telltale baby blues.

Always endearing and
engaging, Wolfgang Puck told his charges a story about making perfect
omelets before assigning them the seemingly simple task that got him his
start at the tender, cocky age of 18.

Carla,
Eliza, Chrissy, Tyler, Daniel and Kuniko showed little creativity with
their omelet ingredients: asparagus, steak, lobster, bacon, potatoes,
and every kind of mushroom imaginable. Wolfgang was his typically
wishy-washy self and sent all but Daniel to Seattle with the quip that
Dan's rather disheveled omelet would have tasted a lot better if he'd
eaten it in the dark.

Newcomer judge Hugh
Acheson gave his contenders 45 minutes to wow him with salad. Again, no
one hit the greens out of the park. Sheldon made an Hawaiian/Thai combo.
Bart, who admitted when questioned by Hugh that he had been knighted
several times, created a showy lobster/bacon salad. Brooke's perfectly
deep fried kale and tale of single motherhood nearly brought Hugh to
tears, after which he gave her an apron and a ticket to Seattle. After
deeming Gina's grilled zucchini overdone, she was sent on her way and
then Hugh just kind of said, "What the hell? The rest of you can go to
Seattle too!" and off went Sheldon, Bart and Danyele.

Like
the ideal appetizer, this premiere left me wanting more. More screw-ups, more victories, more stories of struggle and woe, more outbursts
depicting inflated egos ... and definitely more dirt on Kristen and
Stephanie.

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