She has her own space and until a month ago in daycare full time ( in a fairly free range environment. I'm just not irresponsible and won't let her climb on (age) inappropriate equipment without me there, fine with smaller ( age appropriate ) equipment. she has also always been a social butterfly

Ok cool. Promise I wasn't meaning to have a go at your parenting choices, just sharing some random thoughts. It's like supervision/confidence and chicken/egg.
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There's a world of difference between even an 18 month old and a 2 yo and then again a 2.5 yo. I wouldn't hesitate leaving my 2 yo alone on that equipment. When she was 15 or 18 months old? I would have been close by. Even my second who was walking at 9 months. I still would have stuck around.

I haven't read the entire thread but I used to hover and then it occurred to me that constantly cautioning her was just undermining her confidence in her physicality. When my sister comes to the park she constantly hovers and says 'be careful' even in places where the most damage she would do is graze her knee. I just want my dd to feel confident about what her body can do, and understand her limits.

I always like be able to see her but I'm not on top of her. She is 5 now and given my time again I would have given her freedom to play.

I also tend to think that I hovered so much because we did not have friends at the park. If she had had others to play with, or I had someone to chat to I might have been less helicopter-y.

Dd's after school care put her in a tyre today and rolled her down a hill. It was the best. But a year ago that would have caused me a heart attack.

Haven't read the whole thing, but I would have had no issue leaving my daughter to play on that when she was 2. I trust her to know her limits. Yes, there could be accidents, but that doesn't mean I should be at her side.
My partner often hits his head on a shelf in our kitchen, but i don't insist on being there every time he sets foot in the room in case he misjudges where he's walking. Adults hurt themselves all the time without anyone feeling the need to place blame. Same ought to go for kids.
If my child is confident in his/her ability, then I feel it's my job to trust that rather than undermine it. Most of the time, at least.

I tend to stand back and watch at the park. My natural instinct was to be right near them however DS2 has always been a climber, since before he could walk and I have relaxed a bit. He is 2.5 now and this week went down a fireman pole from the top which DS1(5.5) only attempted without me this year. He has been climbing on equipment since he was 1 and loving it so I let him go. When he wants me close he will let me know.

Off topic somewhat. ..my friend and were sitting in her front yard watching the kids play/ride in the culdesac 5 kids age 2-5...next thing my friend hollers "be careful, stop running!!"to the 5yo. I said whats happened? She said "she's running on the bitumen, if she falls she'll hurt herself". I was incredulous! I felt sorry for the child who wasn't allowed to run...but more I felt sorry for my friend who must feel such huge anxiety that her kids might be hurt to stop such a simple activity as running on a hard surface its not childhood if you haven't skinned your knees! My friends children are all quite clumsy with poor gross motor skills...I'm not sure what came first, the clumsy or the "be careful"...I suspect the latter

It just occurred to me that the OP has only recently become a SAHP. I know when I'm a SAHP and even now when I work PT I visit a few parks regularly. So my kids know the equipment very well and know their own limitations.

I can take a laid back approach (coffee and book/coffee and chat) as I'm only there to supervise from a distance.

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I find it quite odd that someone would ring their child's day care 4 - 5 times a day to be honest. I find it almost impossible to believe (unless it was a new thing). I could understand once or maybe event twice but 4 or 5 times? Each time you are ringing you are using up a carers time that they could be spending with the children. Imagine if every single parent did that? I'd even go to the point of saying if you feel you have to ring that many times you might need professional help in dealing with anxiety etc.

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She has her own space and until a month ago in daycare full time ( in a fairly free range environment. I'm just not irresponsible and won't let her climb on (age) inappropriate equipment without me there, fine with smaller ( age appropriate ) equipment. she has also always been a social butterfly

I've taken a look at the equipment. Firstly I doubt that there would be a serious injury if a child fell from that height. Secondly, parents who choose not to “helicopter” as soon as their child has their feet off the ground are not irresponsible. You are a first time mum and often this is the way first time parents react. I was one of these parents. After my second and third children I no longer worry as in my opinion as long as they're not going to be seriously injured then I don't see the problem. They'd have to fall VERY badly and awkwardly for their to be a serious injury on that equipment. My daughter when she'd just turned 2 fell face first off something that height and I Freaked out but she was fine. Perfectly fine.

If a parent wants to helicopter parent that's fine. I don't really see the issue (research does suggest it can cause some issues later on but who knows?). If a parent chooses to sit back and watch from a distance I also don't see the issue in that. I think calling parents irresponsible for not doing things the way you would do them is judgemental and unfair.

And by the way, how much were you actually watching your child when you were so busy watching other people's children as well as the adults?

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