Dealing With Loss: Speaking to the Right Individuals

PublishedJuly 7, 2016

Dealing with loss

Whether the death is sudden, or your loved one slowly passed away, it’s never easy dealing with loss. Between the initial feelings of anger, learning to adjust to living without them, and even blaming yourself for the loss, it’s important to surround yourself with support. Of course, though, there’ll be moments where you want to be alone. Regardless, talking with people about your feelings is important. While there’s definitely not a “cure” for grief, talking to others helps to release those bottled up emotions. However, is there a line that shouldn’t be crossed? Everyone has different feelings on what it means to lose someone. While you may want to talk to as many people as possible, sometimes it can actually be more harmful than helpful. Overall, here are some reasons why you need to be careful about the people you choose to talk to when dealing with grief.

People Can Be Insensitive

When you’re talking to others about loss and grief, always remember that people can be very insensitive. In fact, this is the main reason you need to be careful when sharing your feelings with others. After all, there’s nothing worse than someone saying hurtful words in the midst of your pain. Sometimes, these people have lost loved ones too, but their insensitivity is because their experience is different from yours. In other words, they haven’t necessarily experienced what you’re feeling.

For example, let’s say a person only experienced one loss in their life, which was their mother. However, the loss was very sudden and unexpected, and it had a major impact on them growing up. On the other hand, you have another person who has lost a lot of relatives. However, not only were they not very close to their relatives, but those numerous losses have also made them desensitized to the feelings of others. They may jump to conclusions about your grief, and assume you’re supposed to be feeling the way that they did.

Of course, though, that’s not the only reason some are insensitive to the feelings of others. If anything, it may also be because they haven’t experienced grief. The thing about loss is that it’s something many people don’t understand unless they’ve experienced it themselves. They might not know how to respond to you, and even when they do offer advice, he/she may end up saying the wrong things. In this case, their insensitivity is more unintentional than anything else.

Overall, there are plenty more reasons people may be insensitive to your experience. Regardless, always be smart about who you choose to share your feelings with. Talk with your family members about what you’re going through, and chat with those whose experiences are very similar with yours.

People May Feel Uncomfortable

When sharing your feelings of grief with others, always make sure that person isn’t uncomfortable. This is especially common when you’re talking with people who haven’t experienced loss. One reason why sharing your feelings could make them uneasy, especially if you’re their friend, is because of how vulnerable you are. Your friends may end up seeing a side of you they haven’t seen before. It brings up feelings of uneasiness, since it’s uncommon for you to open up so much. Lastly, he/she may also be uneasy, because death is an elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. Sure, your friend hasn’t lost anyone in their life, but it also brings them to a reality they don’t want to face. After all, what if they lose a loved one next? Many people know it’ll be a reality someday, but attempt to brush it under the rug or shrug it off.

All in all, when dealing with loss, it’s important you speak to the right individuals. Between dealing with those who are just plain insensitive, and others who may feel uncomfortable, opening up to the wrong people can be more harmful than helpful. Visit us at Fairmount Funeral Home, and one of our family care providers will give you the help and support you need during this emotional time.