In news that shouldn’t surprise many people but will likely inspire a lot of complaining, Kate Upton will be named the Model of the Year for 2013 at the Annual Style Awards tomorrow night in New York City. The event, hosted by Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton’s former best friend and the girl who married that guy from Good Charlotte, is the catalyst to New York City’s famed Fashion Week, as people will travel from across the world to gawk at clothing that 99.9999% of the people in the world can’t afford and would probably never wear.

So the big question is… does Kate Upton deserve this incredible honor? And the short answer, of course, is yes, while the longer, more elaborate answer is absolutely. Upton became the first woman since Tyra Banks to repeat as the cover model of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, and she also recently graced the covers of Vogue, Vanity Fair and Elle, which I’m told is known as the Triple Crown of the fashion world*. She is even building on her young acting career with a prominent role in the 2014 comedy The Other Woman.

What’s interesting, however, is that Gisele Bündchen is still on pace to becoming the first billionaire supermodel, as she earned an absurd $42 million last year, which was $35 million more than Miranda Kerr at No. 2. But I won’t ever argue Upton’s worthiness, as she works incredibly hard at standing in one place and being beautiful.

But didn’t everyone hear? She so FAT, FATTY, FAT, FAT, FAT, MOO COW, according to no one ever. The fact that she’s got enough rhythm to do the dougie gives me hope that she’s got enough rhythm to have some black in her. And by black I mean 100% American Alabama Blacksnake.