Big News: Obesity Is Officially a Disease

Five out of five—or, in reality, probably just a plurality—of voting members of the American Medical Associations agreed today that obesity is officially a disease. However, much like a cake shaped like a double-edged sword, the classification is a double-edged sword: “Some experts worry suddenly declaring one-third of Americans ‘ill’ or ‘sick’ will increase the desire for quick interventions or medications and discourage people from making the lifestyle changes known to combat obesity,” CNN reports. “On the other hand, A.M.A.’s declaration could help increase funding for future obesity research. It could also lead to payment for doctors who want to simply talk to patients about nutrition or exercise—time that’s not currently reimbursed by insurance plans.”

Will this decision pave the way for A.M.A. recognition of other, as-yet-unrecognized debilitating medical conditions? Life-altering maladies such as:

Chronic, uncontrollable 45-minute lateness?

Consistently biting your cuticles even though you just got a manicure?

Mistaking alcohol for dinner?

Walking too heavy on your heels so that it always sounds like you’re stomping?

Which of your medical conditions should the A.M.A. recognize next? Let us know in the comments—unless your condition is “chronic release of aggression in Internet comments sections,” a common affliction among at-work Americans.