Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Epi(scream like a banshee)Lady

I was in bed and having a slight bout of insomnia and the thought of the epilady comes to my mind. I didn't want it there but it was there and it lingered around for a while.

I was remembering how badly I wanted this little machine. It was the bees knees back in middle school and I had it on every "wish" list I could muster.

One Christmas, I finally receive the epilady and thought it was so cool.

I was so cool.

I mean come on, I had the power of an electric hair removal system in my hand. It looked smart, it was ergonomically designed to feel smart and the commercial was awesome. I was so stoked, I pulled up my pajama pant bottom and looked at my hairy leg. I was so excited to (in a circular motion) to remove my unwanted hair.

*******This thing was barbaric.*******

I did not know about wine and percocet at age 12, but, I think you truly would need this when using. The pain (to me) was enormous. For those of you who don't remember (or have blocked out of your memory), this thing had a coil like this...

and it would rotate around and "catch" the hairs and pluck them out for you. It was like a tweezer on a treadmill (not sure how that would work, but you get where I'm going). You went too slow you would be in agonizing pain, you went too fast you would just graze over your hair. Moving the rotating spring across the skin caused the hairs to be "caught up" in the spring and pulled out the hair. Ugh, I cringe just remembering that thing.

I used it for a good 34 seconds and promptly put it back in the box and swore I would try again. I had to. It was an epilady folks. I knew I needed to use after bath or shower, pull skin taught, start slowly, go in direction of hair growth (did this even matter), and use moisterizing cream.

I never touched the thing again.

I was terrified.

That thing sat in it's box with all of it's bells and whistles forever. I have no clue what ever happened to that epilady, I just know that I hope some of you remember this and can share your experiences with me.

I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Girl yes! I think an epidural would make it more enjoyable. I used mine once for about 10 seconds. Then, my mother decided she'd use it because of the money spent to buy the silly thing. Well, I think she too only used it once for about 10 seconds.

Maybe we should send all the unused epiladies to Homeland Security for when they have the need for "special treatment."

LOL..I still have one packed away somewhere if you ever get the urge to try it again! I remember a story very similar to yours...I begged for the dang thing over and over, when I finally got it, I think MAYBE a total of 2 times that thing seen the light of day.blessings...

The Blogger

"is this what you do all day" I have been asked, and I have to say "why, no of course not". (roll eyes and try to think of what exactly it is I do all day if it isn't kid or cuteness related). All new to the mom thing and to the blogging thing so I decided to merge them together as seamlessly as possible. Mother of two chicas and wife to an incredible hombre. Got a toddler's eye view of the world and lol'ing my way through it. I am a Stay At Home Psychotherapist and Cheesecake maker. Both exceptionally similar to me :) I travel extensively (mentally) and even have frequent flier miles to prove it.