How To Write Query Letters ... or, really, how to revise query letters so they actually work

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

How to get your query letter discarded from the queue

Dear Ms. Reid,

Love, love, love.....did I say love.....the Query Shark site! I sent you my query letter and although I know you have many, many to review....so I don’t mean to bug you but I would really respect your feedback to my query letter....you are always spot on with your comments. The query letter was for (redacted) Even if you don’t post it on your site, even just having a little bit of your feedback would mean so much.

As the punch line in the movie Misery said............from your number 1 fan!

Sincerely,

This is one fast way to NEVER get your query posted on the blog.

I get that you want feedback. I run this site to provide it. Under NO circumstances will I provide private coaching. Sending emails asking for that, even in the most laudatory terms and couched in compliments annoy the fins off me.

And honest to god, quoting Annie Wilkes can be interpreted in several different ways, none of them to your benefit, and at least one requiring a call to the gendarmes.

What you haven't stopped to realize is that IF your query gets posted, you get to revise. Which means an ongoing email communication with me. Stepping over the line this early doesn't reassure me that you'll be someone I want to talk to on an ongoing basis. In other words, you've just given me a very potent reason to NEVER post your query.

If you didn't realize you've crossed the line, no harm no foul. But there is a line. Stay on your side. The other side is shark-infested.

The author here sounds sweet, but there is a line that was definitely crossed. Still, it's easy to tell (s)he has good intentions - we're all willing to be a little crazy for our work, right? We just have to be sure our craziness helps us, rather than hinders - as in this case.

Perhaps the poor writer just needs context. To me, this sounded like telling your auditing IRS agent to go easy on you because you're her/his biggest admirer. Actually, scratch that. Given the infrequency of that happening they might actually enjoy it.

I've gotta agree with Strugglinvet, it was an attempt at nervous humor from someone who perhaps didn't realize the boundaries he/she/it was breaking. I say cut him/her/it some slack. The tone of pathetic neediness in the rest of the e-mail is sad enough without jumping up and down on the ill-advised attempt at humor.

I think the OP meant no harm, at worst they made an innocent mistake regarding how to approach this, one I myself could just as easily have made. They were clearly nice and polite. Their compliments are likely genuine given their requesting an opinion they respect on here. I see intention as more important than anything. I don't think anyone should read more into it than really is there. Their struggling like a lot of us. Just my humble opinion.