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Satirical & Poetic Musings Of A Self-Proclaimed Nobel Prize Winner

Batman Reduced To Ashes After Challenging Superman To A Fight

Superman Blasting Batman With Heat Vision

Citizens of Batman’s home city, Gotham, were shocked to learn today that their beloved hero, Batman, had been reduced to a smouldering pile of ash by Superman during a very brief, and ridiculously ill-advised, fight the two had yesterday in Metropolis. “I used my heat vision to burn him into smouldering ash just seconds after the fight began,” the Man of Steel said. “I didn’t want to fight him. Really, I didn’t. But the dude just wouldn’t back off about how he was SOOO much smarter than me that he could whip me in a fight even though I have super powers and he doesn’t. I said to him, ‘Bats, we don’t EVER have to fight each other. We’re both good guys and we’re friends. We have been for years; so stop worrying about it.’

Pile Of Ash That Was Batman

He insisted on provoking me, however, by mocking both my Kryptonian parents, and my folks here on Earth. It wasn’t easy, but I took that in stride, chalking it up to how fucked up he was from witnessing his parents get murdered. But when he told me my dog, Krypto, was actually a cat trapped in a dog’s body, I just lost it and decided to fight him right then and there. So I vaporized his ass. No one makes fun of my dog, and I mean no one! Not even The Batman.”

Well; first rejected by the Avengers, now blasted into ash. Batman’s short but remarkable career.
I expect soon we will hear of the rise of the cult of Batman; then later, the Gospel According to Robin will reassure us of his resurrection. Then they’ll make a movie about it. Be sure to get a lawyer to protect your copyright, Inspired! There’ll be millions in in it, I’m sure!