Visitors after the baby arrives

After reading another post on her that briefly mentioned it I wanted to ask : what are your plans for visitors after the baby arrives.

I’m planning a home birth and if I’m honest I was planning to have two weeks of staying inside, recovering and getting to know my baby. I hadn’t really factored in getting visitors.

I think it would be nice for my parents and in-laws to visit but was wondering when would be best? And should I ask my husband to chat to them about how long they stay, keeping a calm and quiet environment, not staying too long and that I won’t be up for doing drinks/food?

I don’t want to come across as rude at all to either my parents or in-laws and I’m not too sure how these things work as it will be my first baby. I’d love to hear your experiences. X

Comments (22)

It’s defo good to talk about this. When my parents and mil (mother-in-law) visited they always brought lunch. This worked really well. Actually my parents stil do this and dd (dear daughter) is 2 1/2. We had visitors EVERY DAY after my dd (dear daughter) was born , it was exhausting and I never got time to nap. This time I’m going to put my foot down. Just parents for first week and possibly my bestie as she lives near so can just pop in rather than making a long trip and staying for hours. X

Omg someone else asked something simlar and it blew up, i think really were all almost in the same situation, after birth just want alone time nothing wrong with that but i dont think relatives think like that. I would love to say come after a week or so but it just wont happen theyll take it the wrong way. In one of my pregnancys i said to my sil come after a certain time as i was bf and she took it the wrong way. I dont think theres a way of saying it as someone will turn up, but i wont get up and serve tea and food my hubby can but they do expect that too. its ment to be a special time but we spend far too much time stressing about it before it happens. Also depends on your relationship with the people your going to tell to come later how they will take it really.Dont think theres really away of saying it unless they really really really understand x

It’s defo good to talk about this. When my parents and mil visited they a...

Posted
13/05/2018

It’s defo good to talk about this. When my parents and mil was born , it was exhausting and I never got time to nap. This time I’m going to put my foot down. Just parents for first week and possibly my bestie as she lives near so can just pop in rather than making a long trip and staying for hours. X

I think that’s a good idea to ask them to bring lunch and we could always ask it in a “we are absolutely knackered and don’t have much food in the fridge, would you mind bringing some lunch?”. I don’t think that would offend anyone.

With my first I had EVERYONE visiting - family cousins etc (she was the first baby in years) but I still to this day regret it and actually think it hindered my time as a first time Mum. I had quite bad depression and my partner only had 2 days off. This time parents and sister have the AOK to visit when the baby is here but as far as anyone else is concerned they will have to wait a week or two. I want my daughter to bond with her new sister and equally I want to enjoy the time as a family of 4. Thankfully partner is taking 2 weeks holiday as well so he will be around for longer. Honestly do what you want... I really wish I did things differently last time xx

I think that’s a good idea to ask them to bring lunch and we could always a...

Posted
13/05/2018

I think that’s a good idea to ask them to bring lunch and we could always ask it in a “we are absolutely knackered and don’t have much food in the fridge, would you mind bringing some lunch?”. I don’t think that would offend anyone.

To be honest if they’ve got any common sense they won’t need to be asked .., they’ll turn up with a ton of food. That’s what I always do when I visit friends with new babies. But if you think they’ll be offended / need a nudge then totally ask them xxx

Omg someone else asked something simlar and it blew up, i think really were all almost in the same situation, after birth just want alone time nothing wrong with that but i dont think relatives think like that. I would love to say come after a week or so but it just wont happen theyll take it the wrong way. In one of my pregnancys i said to my sil come after a certain time as i was bf and she took it the wrong way. I dont think theres a way of saying it as someone will turn up, but i wont get up and serve tea and food my hubby can but they do expect that too. its ment to be a special time but we spend far too much time stressing about it before it happens. Also depends on your relationship with the people your going to tell to come later how they will take it really.Dont think theres really away of saying it unless they really really really understand x

Luckily my parents are super understanding so they wouldn’t be offended and my in-laws live a fair distance away and would never just turn up uninvited. I just want to make sure that everyone feels involved without upsetting anyone AND looking after myself. X

It is so important to talk about this before baby is here. With my first I didn’t know what to expect and so was so overwhelmed by my husbands family. I’m really close to my mam and Dad and they only live at the end of the street but we agreed what days they would come over and also they helped out when arrived. My husband however didn’t have a chat with his and so they arrived every other day as they also live close. Only it wasn’t just mother in law and father in law that would rock up they would arrive with my sister and brother in law everytime too so my little house felt taken over. They didn’t help out with anything either just drank my tea and wanted to hold my son constantly which drove me to into a hormonal emotional mess. This time around I’m making sure both sets of family get the memo on visiting.

With my first I had EVERYONE visiting - family cousins etc (she was the first...

Posted
13/05/2018

With my first I had EVERYONE visiting - family cousins etc (she was the first baby in years) but I still to this day regret it and actually think it hindered my time as a first time Mum. I had quite bad depression and my partner only had 2 days off. This time parents and sister have the AOK to visit when the baby is here but as far as anyone else is concerned they will have to wait a week or two. I want my daughter to bond with her new sister and equally I want to enjoy the time as a family of 4. Thankfully partner is taking 2 weeks holiday as well so he will be around for longer. Honestly do what you want... I really wish I did things differently last time xx

Thank you that’s really great advice. I’m sorry you had such a hard time last time x

It is so important to talk about this before baby is here. With my first I d...

Posted
13/05/2018

It is so important to talk about this before baby is here. With my first I didn’t know what to expect and so was so overwhelmed by my husbands family. I’m really close to my mam and Dad and they only live at the end of the street but we agreed what days they would come over and also they helped out when arrived. My husband however didn’t have a chat with his and so they arrived every other day as they also live close. Only it wasn’t just mother in law and father in law that would rock up they would arrive with my sister and brother in law everytime too so my little house felt taken over. They didn’t help out with anything either just drank my tea and wanted to hold my son constantly which drove me to into a hormonal emotional mess. This time around I’m making sure both sets of family get the memo on visiting.

Oh gosh yes that sounds hard! I think I will pre-agree things with everyone before the baby comes.

Luckily my parents are super understanding so they wouldn’t be offended and...

Posted
13/05/2018

Luckily my parents are super understanding so they wouldn’t be offended and my in-laws live a fair distance away and would never just turn up uninvited. I just want to make sure that everyone feels involved without upsetting anyone AND looking after myself. X

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