Ross Jeffries'
Get Laid/Persuasion NEWSLETTER!!!!
6245 Bristol Parkway, Suite 275 January/Feb
Culver, City CA 90230 2001
(310) 822-5771 email: sandworm@attbi.com
Advanced Techniques To Combat
The Female Interruption Mechanism!
Dear Friend And Seduction/Persuasion Student,
One of the most common events that crop up when students first
get going with Speed Seduction® is something I once labeled
F.I.M. or Female Interruption Mechanism.
Well all of us, as men, experienced the various manifestations of
this nasty little mind-virus from time to time.
Has a scenario like this one ever happened to you, and left you
scratching your ass and pounding your head against the wall,
trying to figure out what happened?
Scenario: You're at a party or a bar. You meet a very hot
looking woman, who seems open, even eager to get to know you.
You're running patterns on her, and she's feeling that "incredible
connection". By the end of the evening (or even a few short hours
of talking) the two of you are going at it, making out like crazed
teenagers, playing tonsil-hockey and dry-humping like you've just
discovered friction. She eagerly gives, even volunteers her
number to you, asking when you will call her.
Your blue-balls barely allow you to squeak out the answer,
"Really soon…. I promise."
Seems like a good thing, right?
I think you may know where I'm going with all this.
You wait a day or two, and when you call her either:
You can't get a hold of her. You
leave a message or messages and
she NEVER calls you back.
You do get a hold of her, but she
tells you, "I'm just walking out the
door" or "I'm on the other line" and
she asks if she can "call you back".
Of course, you NEVER hear from her.
You do get a hold of her, you make
a plan to see each other again, but,
at the last minute, she calls and
cancels with a lame excuse like,
"I'm tired" or "I've got to take my
friend to the airport" or whatever
latest b.s. excuse she's pulled from
the U.F.E.A (Universal Female
Excuse Archive).
Beat me with a stick and tell me it don't ever
happen.
Now, many students have written to me expressing concern
about this kind of thing. Now that they are finally off the bench
and in the field, they are finding these kinds of problems cropping
up and what is most confusing is….
…….. These Are Some Of The Very Same Responses They Got
From Women Back When They Were NOT Attractive And
Couldn't Get Anywhere With The Ladies!
Women do cancel on, flake, evade and avoid men they plain
just don't like. So now that you are getting all these great
responses, what the heck is going on?
Understanding "The Black Box"…What's Going On In Her
Head?
It's an interesting aspect of human progress and technology that
as you begin to get better at something, success will
sometimes seem further away than before.
Why is this? Because you now find yourself encountering
situations you couldn't previously even get close to. So now,
there are more unfamiliar things to cope with, handle and get
good at.
If, prior to Speed Seduction, you couldn't get laid in a woman's
prison with a fistful of pardons, now you will find yourself
meeting and attracting a lot more women and running into
previously un-encountered situations. And, as I said, the
confusing, even fear-inducing part is these are some of the
same responses women generate when they are just plain
NOT interested in a guy!
With all this apparently confusing shit in mind, let's look at what
the causes and solutions are to the problems we've been
discussing.
1. Many women have some serious "ruins" on the subject of
men. They are so fucked-up with so much baggage and fear; they
talk themselves out of things.
In this kind of circumstance or situation, what happens is that
she has a great initial
encounter with you. She really does enjoy it, at the time, and
she's so caught up in the good feelings, that all the normal bad
memories/bad feeling loops are shut off.
But just as soon as she's out of your sight, all the old "garbage"
kicks in. And anything can trigger it. She goes home, leafs
through her scrap-book, and sees that pic of her ex-boyfriend, the
smack-shooting, drug-dealing, Republican biker who beat her silly
and kicked her dog out the window.
Or perhaps it could be something less severe; maybe it is just a
recent break-up. The bottom line is, you just don't know.
2. Many women have existing relationships that don't make
them happy and they ARE open or at least curious about other
things out there. As you get better at attracting, your net that
you cast effectively widens, and so you'll get some confused
fish. The same behaviors will manifest (canceling at the last
minute, flaking, calls not being returned) Again, the best thing is
to stay calm and point out they are missing out.
The issue is: did you get good, strong, trance responses,
doggie-dinnerbowl looks, etc. on the initial meeting or was she
simply completely unresponsive and unimpressed?
3. Many women have lives of great financial and other turmoil
and once a year we have the thrice-damned "HOLIDAYS" that fuck
up everyone's ability to make plans!
Scenario/Response
If she doesn't show or flakes/cancels, (or just plain doesn't
return my calls) here is the message I leave on her voice-mail or
machine. And I wish to emphasize I leave this message matter
of factly and in a totally calm fashion. No anger, no neediness,
just as if I was telling her that her shoe is untied. Staying calm is
a huge advantage, indeed, a necessity when dealing with the
opposite sex:
"Hey, it's Ross… it's 3pm and you were supposed to meet me
at the Starbucks at 2pm and I have to say I'm quite puzzled.
You didn't STRIKE me) as the kind of person who would
deliberately interrupt her own opportunities..... especially
when the first tastes felt so good... so I'm just wondering
what happened in your environment to force you to keep
missing out. My number is: XXXXXXXX)
Now, let's take a long, careful look at this message and why it
works.
First of all, I am avoiding the frame of being a supplicant or
beggar. I'm not making it about me wanting something SHE has
and now I'm all disappointed, angry, confused and upset that I
am missing out on the gift SHE has to give.
Everything in this message sets up another frame. And that is
the frame that…
…She Is The One Who Is Missing Out And Losing By Not
Keeping Her Commitment/Appointment With Me!
As I have emphasized over and over again in the fantastic LA 99
Frame Control Videos (which goes into all this in painstaking
detail!) setting the right frame for your communication and
interaction with women is crucial! Consider a frame to be like a
mental train-track that sets the direction of all of the thoughts
and responses that will take place.
If you start going down the track that she is the one with the
great gift YOU must pursue, guess who has the control and
power, no matter what patterns you cleverly attempt to run?
No, you want to set the frame that YOU are the opportunity
and if she doesn't act rightly, she will be the one to lose out!
(Frame-control and setting is very tough, because we as men
have been so conditioned to be the supplicants, pursuers and
beggars when it comes to women. And if you have a life of
previously fucking things up with women, these little glitches
can send you spinning into confusion and fear that you are
never going to get mastery of this important area of life. So, stay
calm and pay attention!)
Now, let's look at the message piece by piece:
1. "It's Ross; it's 3pm and you were supposed to meet me at the
Starbucks at 2pm"-Ok, this is simply reminding them of the
commitment that was made.
2. "I have to say I'm puzzled. You didn't strike me as the kind of
person"- Ok, here I put the emphasis on "strike me". Why?
Because it implies something else that is NOT stated, "I guess,
after all, maybe you ARE that kind of person." In other words,
I'm saying, "Hey... maybe you're a real loser, can you prove to
me you are not"?
3. "As the kind of person who would deliberately interrupt her own
opportunities"-Ok, notice the language "the kind of person".
Here I'm not just challenging her bad behavior, but implying it
is about her as a person, which makes it much worse for her
as a consequence. And notice I am saying she is "interrupting"
her own "opportunities".
"Opportunities" is very vague, so she has to do an internal
search to find out how it uniquely fits for her.
Also,"opportunities" is an emotionally loaded word that is
charged with meaning in our culture; this is the land of
"opportunities", "don't let your opportunities pass you by" etc.
Just ask anyone the difference between "options" and
"opportunities" and listen to what they say! So, it IMPLIES she
is losing out, big time, WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING IT and by
tying it in to who she is as a person, is implying that if she
keeps acting this way, in the future she will CONTINUE TO
MISS OUT!
4. "I'm wondering what happened in your environment to force you
to keep missing out"… By switching gears and making it about
something in her environment, we are now giving her an
"out"; a way to say, "Whew….if I act now, I can blame it on
something other than me and STILL get to be with him and not
BE A LOSER who misses out in life!". By giving her this "out"
she gets to avoid being defensive or sticking with labeling
herself as a loser; she can now come back at us fully charged
and ready to go for it with us.
In a nutshell, what we are doing here is resetting the frame by
being vague, using implication, pointing out loss and
challenging her self-image. We've in no way been nasty or rude,
so we've left the door wide open. Consider:
If she really couldn't make it, due to some nasty and
unplanned emergency or something else beyond her
control, we aren't being mean or nasty and so we keep
our option open to see and enjoy her all the while
putting the responsibility on her to prove herself to
us.
If she backed away or cancelled because she is
already with a guy or has talked herself out of it due
to pain of a previous relationship or because we
made her feel so good, she now has safety and
control issues, we've subtly challenged her self image
and pointed out to her that she could very well be losing
and missing out!
It bears repeating: notice too that at NO time are we getting
angry, accusing, blaming, or acting desperate, needy or even
half-way or mildly rude. Just calmly, casually, implying things and
giving her an opportunity to step into something wonderful she
knows on some level she wants, desires and needs to enjoy!
Now, there are variations on this basic message; sometimes you
will get through to them personally and deliver it directly rather
than through a machine. But the basic principles of staying calm,
using implication and vagueness, challenging her self-image
and perceptions of herself (the kind of person who lets
opportunities get
away from her) and setting the frame that you are the prize
to be offered and won; these are what truly counts no matter
what the variations!
Variations On The Theme; Other Responses To Other
Challenges!
The "boyfriend" objection can come up at different times. It
may be hauled out just as you are meeting her/closing her for
the number or it may start when you start getting physical with
her.
If she tells me she has a boyfriend when we first meet, either
directly in the form of an objection, or he just gets brought up in
conversation, I treat it casually, just like this,
"Oh...well, I ASSUMED someone as attractive as you are would
be with SOMEONE. I just sometimes encourage people to ask:
is he filling a role? Or is he fulfilling needs that come from deep
inside who you are? And deep inside the person you are
longing to be? Because if it's the second... well... wow… I can
only say, congratulations...this is great. Hang on to this. But if
it's the first... maybe we have something to talk about".
Now, this is loaded with so much good stuff, I won't attempt to
go into it in detail. But basically, it's getting her to go inside and
compare her current relationship to what her ideal would be,
and 90% of the time the current relationship WILL come up
lacking. And, it reframes it away from HER being the one who
has something you want, to you being someone and
something SHE might be missing out on!
Other Major Challenges/Hurdles You Will Encounter As You
Continue To Get Good With
Speed Seduction®
The Safety/Control Challenge
As guys, we are usually so eager to get our wicks dipped; we
don’t understand that women often have safety/control issues
when it comes to sex. Here are some typical things you will hear
and some good responses:
Her: "Wait, wait... I can't do this. I have a boyfriend!"
You: "Oh... I'm sorry. I wasn't aware you were already
enjoying this level of experience with him". (Credit to Brother
Bishop for this response!) Then get up, walk away, start getting
dressed.
Her: "Wait... wait... this is going too fast!"
You: " I don't think it's really about the velocity that are hands
and limbs are moving, is it? It's really about how safe and
comfortable you really want to feel... right NOW...isn't it?
Because what really matters isn't SPEED...what matters is what
feels good...and feel right... for all your own reasons...right
here.....(touch pussy)...right now...don't you??
Her: "Wait... Wait... What is it that you want?"
You: "What is that you want...to stop denying
yourself...because of fears from the past...that have kept you
back and held you down for so so long... so long to all of that...
as you just let go... and feel good... and deserving... and right...
inside... right here... right in this moment... right now!"
The Confusion/This Shouldn't Be Happening Challenge
Here's an interesting paradox to ponder; the more you stand
outside of what a woman is normally used to being attracted
to, the more impact you will have, because you are so
different from what has come for her before. But it is this
self-same difference that will also make you unfamiliar to her,
and therefore confusing, even scary!
Often, you'll hear something like, "Look; you're just not my
type" or "I like you but I am NOT going to sleep with you (until I
figure out why I'm so damned attracted to you!)
Here is a good, general-purpose response that avoids arguing or
begging.
"Hey, if you want to prejudge your own opportunities based
on the ways you're USE to responding with men, maybe I'm
not the one missing out here...so, anyway.... what did you
think of the WWF last night on Channel 13?"
Again, while the wording is somewhat different, notice again the
phrasing about"missing opportunities". It's powerful to
recognize that humans are usually more motivated from fear of
loss than moving towards what they realize they want; so
subtly use this fact in overcoming these many forms of
resistances as you enjoy your growing Speed Seduction® success!
Take care to always set or re-set the frame to keep you out of
supplication and firmly in control of who is seeking whom!
And now, just as I am finishing writing this, here comes some
confirmation from a satisfied customer/student…read on as we go
to…
The Mail Bag:
Date: Tue, 09 Jan 2001 15:59:23 -0500
To: ss@minivend.com
From: Russ <xxxx @xxxxxx.net>
Subject: [SS] SS usage report (thanks Ross!)
Reply-To: ss@minivend.com
Dear Ross and SS Brothers,
SS is really starting to set in for me.
Sunday afternoon I get a call from Jessica. We met online & setup
Sunday as the day we'd meet (She gets home from XMas Vacation
Sunday). As she was not sure what time she'd get in/unpacked we
did not setup a fixed time. She called around 5:30 to let me know
she wouldn't be able to make it. I recently had a conversation
with Ross (thanks!) and was able to apply some of what he said
immediately. Responded to her with "Really, that's too bad, I
thought you were the type of person that would notice an
opportunity right in front of her and grab ahold of that
opportunity. I guess I may have been wrong". She was silent for
several seconds and then said "Well I have all my stuff inside so
my car is clean...when would work". I came back with "How about
right.... NOW". She said OK and left within 10 mins LOL.
Brother Russ
Russ,
If only more students would listen to me and DO just like I told
them to!
I'm proud of ya, Bro!
RJ
From: no9 <xxxxx @xxxx.com >
To: ss@minivend.com
Subject: [SS] Question on Conditioning Vs Training...
I've read Ross mentioning the importance of conditioning women,
especially those that require more patterning language to lead
them where you want to go.
My current understanding is that training would be rewarding good
behavior and punishing bad behavior. But conditioning also
includes setting the frame in which you want a person to respond
to your training ... by conditioning a woman, I am both eliciting
emotionsAND setting it up where it is only natural for both of us
to continue and deepen this process.
So my questions are, what exactly is 'conditioning', how does one
go about
it in the context of Speed Seduction, and what is the difference
between
conditioning vs. training?
Dear No9
Well, for me, I use the term "conditioning" to step AWAY from
the "Speed" part of "Speed Seduction".
Meaning, sometimes, being thorough is more important than
trying to rush. And also, recognize that some otherwise very
tasty and responsive women just take more time to work
through their responses.
So, for me, conditioning is the process of seduction that may
take place over the course of more than one sitting/meeting.
Perhaps an initial meeting, then a phone call, (or email) and
then a follow up meeting before you "close the deal".
This means I am conditioning them to:
1. Be responsive to my voice. To associate my voice to feeling
excited, turned on, adventurous, being in a place of
"permission" where she can really have what it is she's
dreamed of, looked for and beyond.
2. Be responsive to following simple
instructions/suggestions/commands.
3. Ratify for themselves that they ARE having a great
experience and that they DO want more. (On a scale of 1-10,
how good do you feel right now, Brunhilde? Do you want to
experience even MORE good feelings? Just say, "More")
4. Viewing me as an opportunity to experience wonderful
things within the context of meeting my terms for reliability,
keeping commitments, returning calls, being on time, etc. As
long as they are responsive, fun, communicative and meeting
these other terms, I'm not going to force my tongue down
their throat or my dick up their cootchie (I never force it
anyway!) and will give them 3, even 4 meetings before they
"come across".
What this helps to do is to set a context for her to frame her
experience with me, when we DO get sexual, as something
she's enjoyed, looked forward to, would like to have again,
without all the twitchiness, demands, and other spastic stuff
that often gets attached when women mate with men, and
also avoid it ALWAYS getting stuck into the "one night stand"
category.
Recruiting may be fun, but it takes up time and focus, and I
want to structure things so she can integrate her experience,
feel good about it, and want to come back as a repeat
customer! Getting a girl damned hot and bothered and
banging her outside of her normal time frames can be fun for
you AND her, but she may then look back on it with remorse
and never talk to you again.
2001 Speed Seduction Seminar Schedule
LA Jan 19, 20, 21st
Chicago April 27, 28, 29
London, England June 15, 16th 17th
NYC July 27th, 28th, 29th
Montreal, Canada August (Exact Date to be announced)
2001 Psychic Influence/Persuasion Seminar Schedule
Los Angeles, California - 23,24,25 February 2001
Orlando, Florida - May 25, 26, 27
That's all for now folks.
Piece and peace,
RJ
P.S. Watch me on The Learning Channel February 13; "The
Science of Seduction"