I don't think you can say one us worse than the other - they are both pretty horrendous. I suppose - if you are thinking that date rape involves someone that in other circumstances you may have allowed to touch you. Whereas stranger rape involves someone that you haven't, and probably find the thought of that person pretty grotesque whatever the circumstances. I don't believe one is worse than the other though - they are both the same but different, and both deserve to be treated as equal.

As with any crime it is an individual act, wether it be a stranger or a friend at knifepoint. All acts of rape are violation and each victim deserves the justice that their case warrants ( usually more than given). Comparing just creates grey areas.

He should have stuck with 'X is bad, Y is worse' there are so many other aExamples he could have used apart from rape!

For example, diet... 'Butter is bad, margarine is worse' but let's just say a health professional was giving advice about picking between those things... Clearly the are saying out of the two things butter is the.esser of two evils, but you should if possible just have neither.

To be raped by a stranger means this scumbag did not see you as a person. They saw you as a means to an end. Nothing you did (not that that is ever a reason) caused this stranger to rape you. You were there wrong time wrong place. You were unlucky.

To be raped by someone you know.They know you as a person. They know who you are, about your personality, likes/dislikes. Yet they still thought that you were worth nothing. You as a person meant so little to them they could violate you and not care. Does that mean you are a bad person? Does that make you at fault some how?

As I said ANY rape is a vile act but for me to be raped by somebody who knows me would be harder to live with. In fact it is harder to live with.

That's what I was thinking, Worra , if the shoe was on the other foot and all that.

I once read a statistic aimed at men (I may be mis-quoting, it was a long time ago!), that said '1 in 4 women will raped in their lifetime. Who would you prefer it to be: your mother, your daughter, your sister or your wife?'

Perhaps I should ask RD that on Twitter, maybe he thinks pne is 'less bad' on the others?

If a strangers forces you in a violent way, while it's still deeply upsetting the victim may find that they do not question themselves in the same way, the phrase I've heard from several people is "I did what I had to do to survive"

It is worse if there is a breach of trust. If a friend, partner,family member or parent breaches that, makes you feel that unsafe all previous relationship with them is tainted and all future relationship destroyed.

a stranger won't be popping up at all your family events, or sitting opposite you at your child's wedding.

That's no consolation if it's your attacker was a stranger to you but you'll but you'll be acutely aware of it if it was your uncle or baby's father.

1. Yes rape is rape. No varying degrees of. 2. Rape should not have been used to explain his tedious point.3. Whether he actually believes in varying degrees of rape or simply thought this analogy was a good idea the man is revolting.

Jesus. Sorry, must've forgot this was mumsnet for a second and that you can't possibly have a reasonable discussions.

Perhaps it should have occurred to you that for some posters, myself included, this isn't a theoretical discussion but a very traumatic part of our lives. And that people may understandably get defensive about it. I had a nervous breakdown after my so called 'date rape'. Just because he didn't jump out of a bush it doesn't make my experience any less painful.

And every time some idiot perpetuates the view that there are different degrees of rape, be that a politician, an atheist on twitter or even someone starting a thread on Mumsnet, it adds to the struggle rape victims have. It reinforces rape myths, contributes to victim blaming and causes immense distress.

I don't think one type or rape is worse/better, but they are different. I imagine the feelings afterwards of being 'date raped' might really impact how you form relationships and doubt your judgement for example, but a violent tale at knife point would mean you struggled with other things.

Probably both equally traumatic in different ways. Hopefully I won't ever have to experience either although it seems a horrible number of women are subjected to one or the other :-(

Well, I have been raped more than once. The first time was by a stranger. The second was my ex husband. So I can add some anecdotal evidence, though clearly it is subjective. Both were horrendous, my husband was more violent, I was afraid of both, I suffered (and continue to) suffer flashbacks, panic attacks and general anxiety. I experienced feelings of anger, rage, helplessness, guilt and shame (still do, can't talk about it in RL).

Which was worse? I honestly couldn't tell you. Perhaps my husband who knew I had been raped and chose to subject me to further ordeal.

But really, by discussing which is worse isn't it a slippery slope to saying at the other end of the scale, well it's only sex. The effect the act has on a person depends on who they are - I didn't cope very well, others I am sure cope better. Does that mean it was worse for me or them?

The only thing I'm really sure of is that it's a power crime, to dominate the other person and take away their feeling of being in control of their life. It's so much more complex than just sex. I do feel this categorisation and 'levels' of rape conversations distract attention from the perpetrator and focus attention instead on the person raped. I should say victim or survivor but I hate both terms. I have neither survived nor do I want to be a victim.