Any ideas what to do with my fiancee...

I am feeling so stressed by the upcoming wedding and to add to the stress my fiancee still has issues with my brother's gf that she can't seem to forgive or forget. The biggest problem I have with my fiancee is that she holds a grunge like no others and she's got a long memory. My brother's girl is a very nice girl but can be quite brunt and straightforward. That makes their encounter a often unpleasant one.

Now my girl wants me to tell her about all the stuff she did that upsetted my girl and I am not about to get in between both of them. Problem is after we get married they will see each other many more times and I don't want the relationship to get any worst. My fiancee wants me to stand in her corner and protect her but I think she's making a big deal out of it. It's gotten to a point where I am thinking about terminating the marriage since I don't want our marriage to be filled with bickering and conflicts. Any opinion what I should do?

I am feeling so stressed by the upcoming wedding and to add to the stress my fiancee still has issues with my brother's gf that she can't seem to forgive or forget. The biggest problem I have with my fiancee is that she holds a grunge like no others and she's got a long memory. My brother's girl is a very nice girl but can be quite brunt and straightforward. That makes their encounter a often unpleasant one.

Now my girl wants me to tell her about all the stuff she did that upsetted my girl and I am not about to get in between both of them. Problem is after we get married they will see each other many more times and I don't want the relationship to get any worst. My fiancee wants me to stand in her corner and protect her but I think she's making a big deal out of it. It's gotten to a point where I am thinking about terminating the marriage since I don't want our marriage to be filled with bickering and conflicts. Any opinion what I should do?

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Move to another state...

Seriously though, marriage comes with bickering and conflicts... My best advice??? Talk to your brother and see what solutions come up...

But for your fiancee, she's got to realize that she's going to be involved with your family now and vice versa and that in the end, she's making you look bad in front of your family... Same goes with your brother's case... Both of you need to let your women know that there's gonna be interaction no matter what and that if they can't behave like grown adults, then they can stay at home...

But in this case, your fiancee's gotta realize that you don't control your brother or his girlfriend... It's none of her business to talk about who your brother chooses to be in a relationship with... And your brother's girlfriend has no business talking about your fiancee...

And you have to realize that no matter what, you have to be involved... She's your fiancee... You're her link into your family... So you need to get together with your brother and say enough is enough on both sides...

My wife sounds very similar to your fiancee, Predaking. She tends to be very negatively opinionated--to a point where she often thinks nobody likes her, and she has a tendency to make mountains out of molehills or holds something against somebody even if the offense isn't directed at her in any way.

When we first got married, and we went to family get-togethers, she was very stand-offish and felt my whole family resented her for some reason. It took some time (about 2 years) of patience, working with her and often just telling her to "get over it" for her to come around. Now she blends in with the rest of us idiots. It just takes time and if you truely care for her then you'll help her see that.

I am feeling so stressed by the upcoming wedding and to add to the stress my fiancee still has issues with my brother's gf that she can't seem to forgive or forget. The biggest problem I have with my fiancee is that she holds a grunge like no others and she's got a long memory. My brother's girl is a very nice girl but can be quite brunt and straightforward. That makes their encounter a often unpleasant one.

Now my girl wants me to tell her about all the stuff she did that upsetted my girl and I am not about to get in between both of them. Problem is after we get married they will see each other many more times and I don't want the relationship to get any worst. My fiancee wants me to stand in her corner and protect her but I think she's making a big deal out of it. It's gotten to a point where I am thinking about terminating the marriage since I don't want our marriage to be filled with bickering and conflicts. Any opinion what I should do?

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If you really love her , don't terminate the marriage, just have a serious convo with her. Heck you're going to be married to her so it's important that you establish a good basis for communication. You'll also remain best friends longer that way because you can talk to each other and understand anything.
If not then things can only get worse.

Don't tell her to grow up or anything , just tell her you love her and your brother very much and it's very important too you that you keep them both close.
If she loves & respects you, which im sure she does, then she'd understand and would make herself tolerate it, just as you would do the same for her.

If your going to get married then you have to plan to be very strong , if something like this is already giving you second thoughts, then you hav'nt seen nothing yet .
Just consider this little episode training hehe

Plus girls will be girls and they NEVER will get along with all the other girls , so for now Id try to keep her away from her.
Maybe talk too your bro and ask him to tell his girl to watch what she says , because some are more sensitive than others. Or just let em fight and afterwards they may become good friends. lol Which can get even scarier.

This may be just a flaw that your fiancee has and we all have them, so dont give up on it if this is the main thing about her that bothers you.

Getting through this bs will only make you that much tougher for upcoming drama down the road.

If you been having second thoughts about marriage for awhile then don't rush into it. So you don't have to spend the rest of your life paying for it.

That sounds a lot like the attitude of my ex-fiance. All of my relationships have eventually failed quite spectacularly, so I'm not someone to be giving advice on what to do. However I do feel qualified to give some tips on what not to do. Under no circumstances should you ignore the problem and hope things just get better on their own. Unless you feel like risking the relationship on it, you should also not confront her about it in a way that she's going to feel like you're turning against her, or that attitude she's giving your brother's girlfriend is likely to be turned on YOU. She'll need to know that you understand her feelings, even if you don't agree with her attitude. Good luck.

If you are feeling stressed now it's only going to get worse. She isn't going to change her ways, and you will continue to encounter problems for the rest of your marriage, and life if you have kids. Sounds to me like a part of you has already made up your mind and you are looking for people to agree with you to make the decision easier for you. Would you prefer to break things off now or get divorced a few years from now?

Sounds to me like a part of you has already made up your mind and you are looking for people to agree with you to make the decision easier for you. Would you prefer to break things off now or get divorced a few years from now?

Thanks to you all for your advice (yes even the dump truck). You are right I am looking for excuse to dump her but it's because she made it clear she won't get along with that girl no matter what and it made me depressed that, should we get married we'll have to move out to avoid any more conflict between them. My brother's gf is kinda in a dark about all this and she doesn't know that her words caused that much friction so maybe I should sit these two women down one day and have them talk it out. Problem is my girl is in another country so it'll be a few months before they have chance to see each other. I guess the best thing to do is to talk to my girl and explain to her that in order to be happy as family she needs to move on from this and not have it bother her so much.....I am really not good dealing with this kind of BS so I hope it'll work.

You never did say why your fiance was upset(i mean specifically, like what did your bros gf say). MAybe your bros gf is the bitch that your fiance thinks she is.

Personally I think your fiance should toss you to the curb because i can tell by the lack of your manhood this marriage will end in divorce. And what would it matter, if you would break up with a chick to satisfy some broad your bro is fucking, you have no love for this girl and from the sounds of it this sounds like a long distance internet thingy anyways.

Am I sounding harsh? well im being blunt but not harsh. You are getting married that means you will always be in her corner and she in yours. When you are around other people you defend one another wrong or right. If your partner is wrong take it up with them in the privacy of your own home.

This is not flame Im stating my opinion and this guy needs to grow up and understand what a marriage is before he gets married.