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Laughter the best medicine – Hippies, Beethoven and Natural Born Citizens!

Tina Frisco is an author who writes blog posts that off wise counsel to all of us making our way in this modern world. She also has a wicked sense of humour and she sent me these jokes last year and I think after 12 months it is time to repeat them. You can find out more about Tina and her books at the end of the post.

I have added some of the funnies I have collected from around the various haunts.

A man is looking through a cemetery when he hears some music. He looks around to see who is playing it but can’t see anyone. Searching for the source, he finally finds it coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:

Ludwig van Beethoven 1770-1827

Then he realizes the music is Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony and is being played backward.

Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.By the time they arrive back at the grave, the Seventh Symphony is playing, also backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.When they return, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward.The expert notices the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed. By the next day, the word has spread and a crowd has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then, the graveyard’s caretaker ambles up to the group.

Someone asks him if he has an explanation for all of this. “I would have thought it was obvious,” he replied. “He’s decomposing.”

LIFE’S LAWS

1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to go to the toilet.

2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.

15.Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

19.Law of Comparisons – Guns are a lot like parachutes, if you need one and don’t have one, you’ll probably never need one again.

Heaven help us all!

In a University Classroom, students were discussing the qualifications required to be Prime Minister of Canada.

The candidate must be a natural-born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

One young woman began ranting that the natural-born-citizen requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming Prime Minister. The class let her rant, and few jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

What WAS she thinking?

My thanks to Tina for sharing these funnies with us and here are her books and how to get in touch with her.

FIRST I must say that I loved this gentle little book. I devoured it in a single evening, so entranced by the story that I didn’t want to stop to read the inspiring quotes from Lynn V. Andrew’s Power Deck that began each chapter. Once I reached the end of the book I had to go back for the quotes, skimming each following chapter a second time.

NOW I must say that I have struggled with how I could possibly write a review — I’ve never read another book quite like it.

Other reviewers here have given you as much as you need to become familiar with the book’s “environment” – if I can call it that, introducing you to a few of the characters – so I won’t repeat similar content. But they can’t convey the deeply spiritual, uplifting essence of the book that, to me, is what makes it remarkable. Plateau never pontificates, but rather seduces the reader to come to his or her own spiritual realizations as the story unfolds.

I suppose the most impactful thing I can say is that I was infused with a sense of well-being when I finally put down my Kindle and turned off the light. I was in such a calm and totally relaxed positive state of mind that I transitioned easily and almost immediately into a deep sleep – a rare experience in my life.

About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here.
Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/