Thursday, March 28, 2013

SBXIII Day Five: Falmouth, Jamaica

I'm in love with Jamaica. I would absolutely go back there for a week or more. It was a perfect mix of lovely beach with regal hills in the background that reminded me of Roatan, Honduras, another of my favorite places. My first view of Jamaica was from the treadmill where I spent the beginning of my morning, but only for a mere 10 minutes as I had completely forgotten that I had Addison's Disease and totally skipped every pill necessary to expend energy. What.Was.I.Thinking!?After fueling up on legal drugs, I found my way onto the dock and we located a cab to take us to the prettiest beach I've ever seen. Along the way we passed several resorts, coexisting next to huts, and Usain Bolt's high school.The beach was utter perfection. I could set up a tent in the sand and live there forever. This was my last legal day of drinking before July 1 so I made the most of it. I partook in two Sex on the Beach's (the drink, not the activity), a Long Island Iced Tea (holymoly that thing was strong!), and two Pink Flamingos. The bartender and I got pretty close.The people of Jamaica were so very friendly. We were offered marijuana five times, mushrooms once, and then, finally, cocaine. We politely declined all advances because Nancy Reagan taught us well. We met a loquacious farmer and I'll give you one guess as to what he farms. Hint: It's not wheat, but it kinda sounds like it.During the typical souvenir shopping I agonized over which shotglasses to buy while the salespeople continually asked if Tyler and I were married/planning to get married. The answer is no. Dear Lord, give us a break! Almost 11 months is quite a feat, but don't start making save the date cards in your head, please.Tyler and I split a plate of Jamaican jerk chicken and I tricked him into trying the spicy specialty sauce. I'm still not sure if he's forgiven me for that tipsy transgression.After the beach we wandered around dockside, participated in a free rum tasting, and found a man selling hand carved souvenirs. I practiced my haggling skills and countered with $10 on an item the seller labeled as $15. He came back with $11 and I argued for a while before setting the piece down and starting to walk away. Watching his sale disappear, the man decided my $10 offer was promising and sold me the Red Stripe Jamaican beer sign for Tyler.

Drinking in Jamaica really works up an appetite and I headed straight for the Windjammer buffet when we were back on board The Mariner. The best kind of boyfriend is the kind that doesn't judge you for getting an entire plate of fries.Dinner came soon after that plate, but I still managed to eat Caesar salad, spinach dip (mostly the chips), and the Manhattan strip steak. Following a nap, we attended the Love & Marriage Game show where we watched 3 couples successfully navigate tricky questions such as, "which of your wife's friends would you most like to see in a bikini?" and "what is the first thing your husband touches in the morning?"The port adventures ended in Jamaica, but A Very Lucky Girl still had two blissful days at sea awaiting.