Guest Bloggery! Matt Walsh's Survival Tips From a Former 20-Something

Being in your 20’s can be a difficult time, it’s basically when you make the mistakes that lead to you figuring out what your life is about. Oh and you’re usually broke. Here’s a few tips I learned while raging through my 20’s and early 30’s that might help survive this traumatic period of your life.

TIP 1

** **Get a dog.

Bringing a pet into your world is a big responsibility. Don’t do it if you can’t commit to having another life rely on you. But dogs give back a ton more than they take. Cats, although they are low maintenance, don’t really care about you. Dogs will love you silly. In many ways they can teach you to love, or at least have a steady relationship which is what you should be learning during this period of your life. Having a dog, even an ugly one, is also a total aphrodisiac for women. It makes women feel safe (creeps generally don’t own dogs) A dog gives women the impression that you are a caring person. Why else would you be dedicating time to your little buddy’s bathroom break on a college football weekend? It’s because you are not self-centered and are able to put your needs second.

Dogs also make house cleaning a lot easier. They are vacuum cleaners on four legs. Anything you drop to the floor from gravy to chips, they will inhale in a matter of seconds. This saves money because you won’t need to get a cleaning lady. They’ll also pre-clean your dishes before you wash them. Just lay your plate down on the floor when your done eating and watch them lick away at the food residue with their natural scrubbers. Just remember the job is not done when they are, you still need some hot water and soap to make that dish ready to use again. They can also pre-clean your hands but, again, they’ll need a second wash.

Dogs are great companions on lonely nights. They’re also perfect little furnaces for those cold evenings when the heating bill isn’t paid or the window is still broken from your indoor Nerf- hoops tourney. Bedding down with man’s best friend is basically how the cowboys slept on the range. Somehow the night terrors of being scalped by hostile Apache’s were easier to endure with your best friend curled up at your feet. And don’t feel guilty about scoring warmth from your critter. Your little buddy is using you for heat and you’re using him for heat. It’s the most honest, reciprocal relationship you’ll have in your twenties.

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