15 definitions
by
Dolphin_X

“Wapanese” are decidedly caucasian individuals who, by means of thoroughly warped postmodern acculturation processes, have come to the decision that it is in their best interest to act as if they were denizens of the nation of Japan. The term “wapanese” can be accurately though of as an analog to wigger. A whitey can be classified as a “Wapanese” if they are in possession of two or more of the following defining traits:

1. Has an unhealthy obsession with shallow, saccharine and intellectually insulting animation shows (also refered to as anime by the nerd elite) originally tailored for young Japanese children

2. Operates under the erroneous belief that every aspect of American culture is vastly inferior to that of Japan’s – even though 99.9% of Wapanese have never had firsthand experience of any sort with their preferred culture (in other words, they’ve never set so much as one foot upon the island(s) of Japan)

3. Halfheartedly studies Japanese language and/or is a part-time practitioner of martial arts

4. Has a sword (samurai swords only, of course) collection

5. Is a Virgin
6. May be afflicted with a terminal case of yellow fever; however, they constantly fail in their quest for Japanese pootytang

7. Extreme cases may traipse around whilst wearing a “costume” that makes them resemble their favorite anime characters (this practice is reffered to as cosplay; cross-dressing and raging homosexuality is not an uncommon component of cosplay.

Interestingly, Wapanese are generally though of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. Social scientists such as myself speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.

Wapanese munch on imported Pocky and wash it down with a bottle of Pocari Sweat.

An exceptionally large lagomorph that died for our sins (or was that Jesus?) and, during the month of April, delivers delectable candy treats to all the good little Gentile boys and girls of the world.

On Easter’s Eve, the Easter Bunny arises from his tomb to spread good tidings and tooth-rotting chocolate Christ statuettes to all.

A portmanteau pairing of the words “agitation” and “propaganda,” usually used to describe media productions (posters, books, movies, music, etc.) designed to instill pro-system thought patterns into those who consume them.

In turn, these implanted thoughts lead to actions that in some way bolster or directly advance official state policies. Agitprop runs a gauntlet, ranging from the crude propaganda posters of the former Soviet Union to today’s highly-polished MTV fare.

Agitprop can be pathos (emotion) based, logos-heavy, (logic) or even a combination of both. It works both the high and the low ground. Regardless of the form it takes, the ultimate goal of agitprop is the production of pro-state thought and action.

After having blasted his eyeballs with countless hours of Fox News television agitprop, Joe Sixpack was ready to head to the nearest Army recruiting office and sign up to fight “islamo-fascists.”

The process by which a malicious person lists their rival's private residence or other property on Craigslist as being "free for the taking", resulting in a swarming mob of freebie-seeking Craigslist users descending upon the residence or other property, grabbing anything not bolted to the ground, and absconding with the ill-gotten gains. This highly illegal act is usually orchestrated when the intended victim is absent for a substantial period of time.

Oh snap! My house has been stripped to the frame and my car and motorcycle are gone! Don't tell me I've been Craigslifted again!

Airy, easy-reading printed material such as Time and Wired magazine, etc., ostensibly written to inform and educate but in actuality designed to inculcate rapacious consumer desire (buy an H2; you need a new laptop, etc.) and reinforce prevailing socio-governmental and economic beliefs (diversity is our strength, housing is a “smart” investment, etc.).

Close scrutiny reveals that Paper Television’s content is little more than ill-conceived “bait” thrown out in hopes of courting the eyeballs that advertisers want desperately and will pay handsome sums of money to target. Making money is Paper TV’s primary goal. Secondarily it aims to advance liberal, egalitarian, and hypercapitalist worldviews inasmuch as doing so helps foster linear values sets in which money is the chief determinant of individual worth and merit (e.g. Sony doesn’t care what sort of person you are so long as you have the money and the will to purchase their advertised products).

The net effect of exposure to Paper Television upon those still gullible enough to read it is wholly negative, and may include such side effects as the belief that all humans are fungible, coupled with an insatiable desire to purchase goods (usually on credit) that are neither needed nor affordable to the readers of such textual dreck.

“Wired magazine? That’s just Paper TV for yupscaled dorks! You might as well watch MTV as read that crap…”