It turns out Mayans only predicted end of Chicago sports in 2012

After much global anxiety and hand-wringing, it turned out the Mayans didn’t correctly predict the end of the world after all — just the end of Chicago sports as we know it. The Bears are falling apart, the Blackhawks are being scrapped for parts, the Rose-less Bulls are just plodding along, the Sox are the Sox, and Cubs fans are still waiting for next year.

“I just don’t care anymore,” said the unusually apathetic bartender at Harry Caray’s, Frankie O. This echoes sentiment from around town, with one Chicagoan saying, “I know how Green Bay feels during the rest of the year now.”

Most people disagree on the cause of this change to mediocrity in Chicago sports. Some are blaming the Mayan calendar, while many cite Lovie Smith for the lack of success around Chicago.

“Oh yeah man, he’s gotta go if we want hockey back,” said Sam Houston, a resident of the south side. Others are blaming Smith for their failures in fantasy football, and some even for the lack of snow.

Cubs fans are the most accustomed to the mentality the rest of the city is taking on presently.

“Well, we have lots of bad breaks happen to us at the same time every year, and it looks like that’s happening for the entire city now,” said a Cubs fan.