995 Responses to “Sugar Paramour?”

aussie SB *423494*says:

Hello sugar world!!! Still no SD for an aussie SB

Uncommon SB- I wouldn’t do it because you are traveling. Its too much trouble to not be totally sure he’s honest. If he was in the same City you on;y waste maybe one night.
Belisse – i would have to agree about the communication. I can’t stand it when I am being ignored on the phone. I don’t mind getting blown off but like to be told on the phone at least.

I rejected 4 women tonight for good reasons all;
1. SHe wants a car and I’m not in the business of buying cars except in cases of serious relationships.
2. She is separated. No don’t want to deal with a jealous husband no matter how much she says its over. Get the divorce 1st.
3. My recent SB asked for money to buy a lap top and I said; “Don’t you have any other men or women to buy it for you?” I think she is Bi .
4. One that wanted me to help her with her computer. No I’m not falling in to that trap. I need to avoid her because she is not good for me and don’t want to get involved with her problems or become a go-to man.

That leaves me back to square one. No SB, but I have a date Sat with a real world woman that is not looking for $$ …..at least at first!

Belissesays:

ooops just noticed some major typos..lol but am sure i got my main point across

Belissesays:

Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?

Pay-per-Meet is the smartest & fairest (if that’s a word) payment plan and CASH is the best payment type. For example, if a sugar daddy is paying $10,000 per month but ends up meeting his baby once or twice a month, it sucks for him but not for the baby. On the other hand, if a sugar baby recieves an allowance of say $3,000 a month & has a daddy who practically wants all her time then it sucks for her but good for him. Some sugar babies can be tricky but wanting a monthly payment & after they recieving the payment they move onto the next victim (i must say). Same for sugar daddies who claim they’ll pay monthly but they want to meet bunch of time and you don’t see a dime then they move onto the victim (i must say again). Therefore, it’s better to agree on a monthly amount which can be paid per meet or simply agree on an amount to be paid per meet (THIS option is for the wise).

What 3 things can you not go without in an arrangement?

1. Can’t and won’t go on without GOOD financial support (which is the main thing for every sugar baby and the affection/intimacy for the sugar daddy). I’m not looking to turn my sugar daddy into my ATM (never have never will) but brokeness & stinginess does not toot my horn.

2. Can’t and won’t go without communication. I understand sometimes as professionals, sugar daddies get occupied with work related affairs, but no one in this world will be too busy to send a few word text message or make a 3 minute call to let their partner (or however you address someone you are with) how things are going. If you too busy to meet or communicate (or both) then it’s time to end it!

3. Can’t and won’t go without the pleasure (and no am not refering to the sexual pleasure or gifts). One of the things i enjoy about SD/SB relationship is the comfort of knowing that someone has your back. Someone who will go an extra mile or two to see you happy & keep you happy. I always ensure that am affectionate, passionate, understanding, HONEST and very CARING so i expect the same…and them some

sb-emysays:

NYGENT: Thank you! i’m going through his advice now, it’s actually quite funny – the hobbies section should just be re-written as essentially ”what I can do for you”, which slightly clears it up.

I think the last line “No asian fetishists” means i’m not keen on dating men who make it a niche market to hunt down asian women based on particular stereotypes and expect them to play out their oriental fantasies. Maybe there’s a short way of saying this, haha

SDN ~ I’m looking forward to it too 😉

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Naughty: Did know you did private lessons. Can’t wait

UncommonSBsays:

Good afternoon everyone!

Okay, so after feeling kind of discouraged for a few days, things seem to be looking up.

I’ve been talking to a really nice pot (seems to be so far) who lives on the opposite coast. He wasn’t sure at first if he wanted to do long distance, but said he really likes my personality and wants to meet to see if there’s chemistry. He’ll be attending a conference next week on my coast and wants to fly me in so that we can get to know each other over lunch and dinner for 2 days. I’ve already been totally upfront about no expectations from either side, separate hotel rooms, etc. and he seems to be on the same page at this point.

He has given me his name and company info, which seem legit in a google search, but you never really know if someone’s telling you the truth about who they are. His company (if he is who he says he is) doesn’t really have a detailed website. There’s no specific corporate governance page or pictures of executives, but maybe this is because it’s a private investment/fund management company?

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to feel more comfortable about validating his identity?

This would be my first time traveling to meet, and I am just trying to be as safe and cautious as possible.

James I think that has to do with a deeper problem LOL

I used that name on my profile, oops not maybe I should change them both or you can find me when I log in… How about just Lizzy…

a91210caliGirlsays:

SD NEOhio I did mention that he is very sweet, a total gentleman. We have a ton in common. Besides the age difference, I think people would understand our attraction. He is very handsome.
But I have met a few others and find the same chemistry to be there.
Finishing school is priority #1. Lizzy

Naughty Molly must be teaching today. I’ve always had fantasies about teachers and desks. Perhaps I need to stay after school? I think threewishes has a schoolteacher outfit…

james.msays:

Under new legislation just passed, COBRA has been extended beyond 90 days; the employee can pay 35% of the cost, and have the employer pay 65% of the cost; the employer gets reimbursed by the feds for their contribution by withholding withholding from the government.
Employment law is so silly now, that no SD should even consider hiring an SB (and if she works for you now, fire her before you sleep with her).

Ultimately, you will get away with having her as an employee, because, as JSO pointed out, you will simply pay her Tiger money: a big check to keep her mouth shut and go away.

Termination should be something you discuss in setting up your arrangement. Either party can terminate for any reason at any time, with no recriminations.

James ~ I’ll make room….you can sit at the teachers desk

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Abby: Welcome to the blog. Hope you continue to post.

a91210: You have mentioned the arrangement but haven’t mentioned the pot SD. Are you happy with him? Do you have the chemistry you require with him and does he have the qualities you are looking for? If the answer to those questions is yes, you should consider discussing your concerns.

Anna! back from the salon, all coiffed and -cured? I was bemoaning my HTML skills (or lack thereof), and tried to sign up for you class.

a91210caliGirlsays:

NYCSB that kind of bs is exactly why I would want to protect myself as well. I would never consider a legal battle, I did agree and passed a very rigid background check. I will have to keep thinking about this. The money is great but not my motivation. Lizzy

JSO – yes as a contractor you the employer get away with not paying benefits or taxes (depening on how its structured) …

IRLSD – technically if you “fire” her she could get unemployment and sue you for sexual harassment… if she “quits” then she cannot get unemployment

Again why any SD (single or married) would open themselves up for such liability is beyond me. I know its a direct write off for them but $$$ saved vs what would have been if he had paid cash do not overcompensate for the possibility of being sued and having your professional image tarnished.

JSO-TXSDsays:

IRLSD – funny you should ask. I had to pay for her cobra and a few months allowance for her not to think that far. My atty was the one who brought up the consultant thing(after telling me I was the dumb *ss for doing it)
you are wide open on unemployment.
My atty said the sexual harrasment was easy enouth to fight. But would be out there in public eye. Which he said meant settlement for go away money.

Abbysays:

im new to this website accually my younger cousin told me about it. i dont agree with paying for someone before you meet them. i do believe in that if someone wants your time you should pay somehow (might be the whole stripper thing though) but before you meet them no way

as for 3 things personailty i dont want to sit there and talk about politics and hear someone cry about there life. come on make jokes people have fun you only live life onces. another would have to be honesty i hate when people lie dont understand why people do it it. seriously who does any of us have to impress. if you dont like me this way ohh well someone else might and vise versa. and third hmmm probably manners i mean i like when people joke around but if you get to the point where you are cracking jokes and they arent funny and they are just rude then you suck. lol so yeahs thats all ive got to say kinda alot for someone who is new here. nice to meet everyone

a91210caliGirlsays:

But I do modeling gigs so I guess I can account for the extra income.

IRLSDsays:

If the SB is an employee, does she then get unemployment benefits when things end? And how do you fire her without setting yourself up for legal ramifications? Even sleeping with her could be construed as sexual harassment.

a91210caliGirlsays:

Mandy it would not hinder my becoming a Doctor, but I am thinking about my prof image when I become an adult working in the real world lol
I guess it means I could never be the first lady, I would not pass the background check with that kind of W-2! Lizzy

Mandy(SB)says:

Ahhhh… I see. Do you read a lot?

And sorry :$

james.msays:

*IMPORTANT*

SDN has sent an email around looking for a current count on TUESDAY evening’s MIDWEST MEET!

If you are new to the blog, and can make it to Chicago next Tuesday (Jan. 12), we’d love to have you join us. We’ll have dinner, followed by ?? and then topped off with ??
There’s a good cross section of SBs and SDs that will be attending, so this is your opportunity to actually meet your blog friends, and maybe even your blog crush!

Thx NYCSB
I was a little afraid to post. It seemed like a very tight clique. Nice to see that you welcome others in.
I also love that there are so many other Cali girls on here! Lizzy

JSO-TXSDsays:

91210 – it was funny because all I was thinking was she would just be an emplyee. I did not realizse(was thinking with the other head…lol) that all of my employees get medical and everything else(about another 700.00 a month for just her) and after we broke up till had to keep her on with cobra. Now that being said it is cheaper to do the same thing on a SD’s part just paying her as a consultant.
as far as paper trails it will look like you had a job while you were going to school. Nothing unusal about that

a91210caliGirl – sounds good… and its somewhat common to be taken on as an employee

nycsb#2 – if you have any questions feel free to email me… click on the blue link which takes you to my blog and then my email is provided on there

a91210caliGirlsays:

Thx Mandy for the Welcome! I think I am hesitant because I am studying to be a doctor and I am worried about future implications of having a paper trail to my SB life. He is a very sweet and generous person. Just not sure… Lizzy

sincere: i think you hit the nail on the head. much harder to be disciplined in your personal than professional life.

JSO-TXSDsays:

atxblondie – what part of texas are you in?

JSO-TXSDsays:

91210 – Iwould say it is not that uncommon. I did it once years ago. It is a direct expense for him(tax wise).
The funny thing for me was while I thought I was being really smart money wise; the next thing I know I had provided her with free medical and dental and everything else.

nycsb #2says:

90210:

that sounds awesome, but i’m new so…

SincereSDsays:

Sincere: i have been burned by the “platonic” too but somehow I just can’t bring myself to say directly to someone, in person, “now you do understand that this will involve intimacy, don’t you?”

Well NYG, I’m surprised to hear that hestitation coming from someone in your profession. I have negotiated any types of agreements and have been painstakenly detailed to cover all conditions and outcomes. We both know implied agreements aren’t enforceable.

In my professional life, I am a hard *ss but an old softie in my personal life. However given my experiences in sugarbowl, I spell out the details and don’t assume anymore. You know what they say about the word assume?

As TXSB suggested, it may be the best to put it in email although I’ll bet neither one of us likes bring up intimacy in our first communications.

nycsb #2says:

NYC SB:

so wish i was you! i’m waiting for someone like that

90210:

i wouldn’t mind that offer depending on what being his employee entailed

i’m not big on calling SDs, prefer emails first and then progress to phone calls. i’ve been putting off calling a certain SD because of the bad luck i’ve been having and the time and energy it takes into getting to know a SD before i decide to him. i even hid my profile and haven’t logged on in awhile, but i had several numbers to call from when they emailed me.

he emailed me awhile ago and revealed his identity to me, but i finally called him. we had a brief conversation, what kind of arrangement was i looking for, when available, etc. looks like we’ll be having a meet soon and hopefully, it won’t be a nightmare because meeting someone is exhausting!!

keep you guys posted!

a91210caliGirlsays:

NYCSB I would be going to the office a few days a week and actually do have a job. It is a really fun job that I would really enjoy and still be able to do my school work.
The offer is a weekly salary of 1k a week with taxes taken out and a monthly bonus check of averaging 16k a month. Fully insurance bennies.
No worries about trace issues. He is a single SD.
Just was wondering how common it is to hire an SB as a employee. Lizzy

a91210caliGirl – I have had this… IMHO not the best option as it leaves too much trace… this may become a problem if the SD is married and the wife finds out… also taxes… usually the gifter (SD) is responsible for paying taxes on gifts over 12k… with an employment contract that goes out of the window and now you need to report this as income and pay taxes yourself. Just make sure your post tax allowance is exactly what you agree on. For example say you agree on a 1k allowance, pre tax he should be paying you a bit above that somewhere around 1.4k so after the taxes and all other deductions have gone through you are still receiving your 1k agreed upon allowance. If he doesnt do this than you are looking at more of a $700 after all is said and done…

Last, to hire on an employee who is not an actual employee is fraud and tax evasion… chances are he wont get caught but if he does than you are looking at some legal problems for yourself…

1. Is it common to offer your SB compensation via hiring her on as an employee?

I have just been offered a lovely arrangement and it will mean signing on as an employee. Thx Lizzy

TXSB: i don’t really think an SD should have to say that. It is or should be obvious. If an SB chooses to pretend otherwise, she may be able to score a few bucks quickly, but she is shooting herself in the foot long term. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt and if it becomes clear they’re just gaming me I cut loose. The issue is becoming better at spotting gamers earlier rather than letting the charade continue.

Midwest – I suppose I was caught off guard bc 20 something year olds do not throw around the word gf easily…

Hi Midwest! I go to the salon tomorrow…boy do I need it..LOL

TXSBsays:

Hey Midwest, Taz, SincereSD, and NYGent!

NYGent:
I don’t know if this helps but a lot of SD profiles actually state that they’re looking for intimacy or to share “intimate moments” along with companionship etc….so that may be an option. So write something like that in the intial e-mail….as in “I’m looking for SB to share intimate moments with who will also be a companion”…ok…you get the point! LOL! That way you’re making it crystal clear that you expect intimacy without being a jerk.

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Hello to all the sds! It’s great to see the conversations between the gents.

Working from home today! Yeah!

For LDR – I really like the above solution of providing a base allowance and a little sugar in-between. It really helps the SB from a budgeting and expense point of view and relieves the tension of exchanging money during the meetings. Otherwise, I would still stay away from the pay per meet arrangement.

NYC SB – Too funny. He sounds like a great guy. Personally, I wouldn’t look too far into the gf comment, but trust your judgement where matters of the heart are concerned.

Sugarbaby – There is no hard and fast formula to determine an allowance – only guidelines. You have been given great advice, so just do your best. You can include something that says the allowance can be modified if one or both parties feel it does not meet or exceeds expectations.

AM – I love the country, but you need snow tires (or a 4-wheeler). No lady should have to go without a little TLC because of snow!

Wow – lots of SD’s on today!!! Yay!

I had the best sleep in a loong time – feeling fabulous today – going out to shovel my driveway now!

Sincere: i have been burned by the “platonic” too but somehow I just can’t bring myself to say directly to someone, in person, “now you do understand that this will involve intimacy, don’t you?” If they are on the site they should understand that, or make explicit in their profile (as I have seen some do), that they are expressly NOT looking for a physical relationship.

SincereSD, wow, sounds like we have had some very similar experiences.

AM and TXSB – lol! dont live through me today… im having a crappy day at work…

SincereSDsays:

IRLSD says: In the past, I have typically showed my seriousness by offering a month’s allowance up front after the first or second meet, but this method tends to make the SB feel like I owe her just for her company and sets the relationship on a bad start, turning it into a platonic friendship the SB feels I am obligated to pay for. It also tends to attract professional daters–those who meet up with a bunch of guys asking for $500/date each, only for me to find out I don’t really like her or that this is her business model in life. I think I will change my strategy somewhat–offering to meet as many times as necessary for us to build comfort and to start the arrangement when we’re ready. That way I only pay for those who are serious about the relationship. Any thoughts?

IRLSD,

I agree with you about setting the right expectations about the relationship. Like you, I have been burnt by the platonic SB or been lured into starting a relationship and working into intimacy when a SB is ready or feels comfortable.

Once bitten twice shy, I have to say. Despite my diligence, several months ago, I still ended up with a NSA (no sex allowed) SB. You may recall an earlier blog about my misadventures with her on an “NSA” trip. We are finally intimate several months later and it turns she was really shy despite her party-girl, model fascade.

Anyways now I spell out all my expectations to pot SB. I know it’s very business-like approach but I want to avoid the mistakes of the past and not leave anything up for (mis)interpretation.

I look at SB dating like speed dating nowadays. 3 dates maximum to determine chemistry and whether we are getting into an (intimate) ongoing relationship. Allowances are provide only if we have a mutual agreement and intimacy.

That’s not normally how I would like to treat women especially ones I would like to get into a relationship with but there are too many fakes and investigators out there in sugarland.

NYC SB ~ I’m living vicariously though you too

Amandasays:

NYC SB: Awww. Cute!

it didnt bother me per se… it was just super unexpected… i would have expected him to say “this is (insert name)” or “friend” … he is non clingy and i love that and he said that he wasnt looking for anything serious when we entered the arrangement…

when we got into a cab he said “im sorry i introduced you as my gf but thats really what i think of you as. never expected to get a gf out of this deal but i really like you so try not to destroy my heart” in his defense he was drunk… as for me, i wouldnt mind things getting serious with him… SD is SUCH a catch!

Lisa that has an SD ~~ I’m a Texas SB if any NYSD are looking, lol!!

cleosays:

irlsd that’s exactly what i was trying to articulate, thanks

IRLSDsays:

I agree with NYCSB, in that situation, particularly on a first meet, just referring to an SB as a “friend” is the best–people are not dumb and get the point. Now if it is a long-term clingy thing and she feels more like a GF than a “friend with benefits”, then she might like being called a GF.

cleosays:

i think it may have bothered her because she (so far anyway) hasn’t felt the urge to BE any of her sd’s girlfriend. added to that that he’s telling his friends about her would at least (if it were me) cause food for thought of the “what exactly does he think this is” variety

NYC SB ~ I’m so glad you had a good time

I wouldn’t have a problem with my man introducing me as his GF if I were meeting any of his friends. That’s just me though

Morning sugar fam 😀

Working hard today… had an amazing time with the SD last night… met a bunch of his buddies and apparently they have “heard a lot about me” and i was introduced as his gf… a little bit of “wtf” for me but i let it roll

Hi Guys, thank you so much for your advise on my question. Im still not sure on what to tell him as in how much but i will figure it out.. Thanks a lot.

Amanda ~ I have played every Zelda game that has come out…LOL. You know rescuing the princess is nice, but it’s also a little depressing. I also used to play Prince of Pursia and that is one game I never finished. I just bought the download for my PS3 and it is much more difficult that I remember..LOL, but I love it because it is the original game that came out for the Super Nintendo many years ago.

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

Good morning Gail, I will be on the lookout for a man in brown wearing your new panties under his uniform, lol of course the ups man won’t be wearing shorts today I doubt, it’s 25 and feels like 12. I think I will remain indoors today.

cleosays:

gail that’s not it. i mean that i go out with a guy (sugar and not – more not since i just started the sugar thing) and we have what i think is a great time: talking and laughing and a big hug and a little kiss at the end and smiles all around and easy conversational flow.

and then i never hear from them again. every thing i know about dating says these guys will call and then they don’t. and it’s only started this year and i don’t think i’ve changed in any particular way.

i’m trying REALLY hard not to let it make me feel fat or ugly and it’s working so far but you know…

I’m soo excited!!! There will be a new Zelda game coming out this year!! The Legend of Zelda is my favorite game of all time…..I’M SO EXCITED!!

Red, did you see, did you see?

Can I have some sugar sprinkles too?

Gailsays:

Irlsd,
I am serious about a SD relationship. For me I end up having lots of SD friends. Chemistry, mutual attraction, laughter and fun is top priority for me. Then its always nice to have the extra money and gifts which is part of this SD/SB world. However you decide to proceed, do what makes you happy : ) It’s amazing to hear everyone’s point of view….but in the end you live it the way you want. Have a wonderful day and sending you lots of sugar sprinkles.

I know the pain of driving 45min for the salon…Ah, what a time consuming job. I too have to devote full day for hair treatment and so, when short of time, I find Ponytail as best solution!

IRLSDsays:

Thank you Gail and good morning.

IRLSDsays:

In the past, I have typically showed my seriousness by offering a month’s allowance up front after the first or second meet, but this method tends to make the SB feel like I owe her just for her company and sets the relationship on a bad start, turning it into a platonic friendship the SB feels I am obligated to pay for. It also tends to attract professional daters–those who meet up with a bunch of guys asking for $500/date each, only for me to find out I don’t really like her or that this is her business model in life. I think I will change my strategy somewhat–offering to meet as many times as necessary for us to build comfort and to start the arrangement when we’re ready. That way I only pay for those who are serious about the relationship. Any thoughts?

I appreciate allowances, no matter how big or small. Gifts too simple but nice….and time spent with my SD has to be FUN!!! Sharing time together is my time to exhale away from real life.

Bundle up AM….snow is cold for a minute…your beautiful well kept hair is well worth it : )

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Sincere: I am sorry I wasn’t clear, I wasn’t implying you were advocating pay2play. More that you brought up a good point that some couples would find starting the allowance gradually to be preferable and not a true pay2play.

I particular could understand an SB not wanting to feel obligated. Even if told they could end it many would still feel the obligation to finish out the month.

I always provide an advance to show I’m sincere. I personally don’t like P4P. Yes there’s a risk with advances but that’s life.

Doubt I’ll be going to the salon today….snow, snow and more snow..sigh.

SDN ~ I’m not sure what you would do. Maybe (if the SB is open to it) a small monthly base allowance and then a little extra when you see her. I would be open to this especially since there would be distance. Us sugars have to keep ourselves looking good don’t we

I reality you are still spending time together it’s just in a virtual environment

NC Gentsays:

SDN — I had an out-of-town SB and sometimes we would go a couple of months without seeing each other. We had a base amount, and then I would give her additional sugar when I saw her. I also helped her out in emergencies from time-to-time. It worked great for both of us because it relieved the pressure of having to see each other every month and not feeling guilty/used if we didn’t see each other.

cleo & AM: Thank you for adding some grace and charm to our testosterone gathering.

SDN ~ Yes, the purple set

Sugababe ~ It really depends on your expenses and what goals you have set for yourself. If you have never had a budget before I would suggest sitting down and figure out what your financial goals are and how much you need to save to reach it. A budget will help you figure this out and you can download budget worksheets online from Kiplinger among others. I think the basic rule of thumb is to save at least 10% of your take home pay, but since your allowance is in addition to this you could save more than that I’m sure. That is just my 2 cents, and I’m sure there are others here who will have better advice for you. Hope I’ve helped a little anyway

cleosays:

i want to go, who is flying in anna molly and taz and i?

SouthernGent2says:

Good morning everyone. I haven’t been around for awhile. Just wanted to stop by and see what’s going on. Trying to decide if I want to get back into the game or not. The time off has been good.

Just to add to the discussion, though it has long passed by on this thread, I have never tried the pay by the date thing. When I meet someone, my intentions are to see if I want to keep seeing her, or if things might work between us. Sometimes I wonder though if I should try the pay by the date thing since I do travel, and maybe that would work for me since I could not see someone on such a regular basis as I can locally. Just something about it doesn’t feel right with me personally though.

We have a nice group meeting in Chicago but have room for a few more if they want to go. Anyone wants to go a group of us bloggers are going to have dinner on Tuesday the 12th in downtown Chicago.

SincereSDsays:

My further thoughts on the blog question, “Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?”

Not sure whether this has been discussed or not but the question in my mind is whether “pay per meet” arrangements result from either building trust towards a longer term arrangement or whether the arrangement (stated, assumed or deception) is intended to be per meet.

1. Trust

I’ve had a SB tell me she wanted an ongoing relationship but she wanted her allowance on a per date basis until there was enough trust built between us. She did not want to feel obligated to be owing part of the allowance if she missed a date. I scanned through several profiles and found another example of this thought process.

Id like an ongoing arrangement – but i am open to hear your requests – i would prefer having a per meeting allowance then monthly. Well talk to you soon

In most cases, I have experienced the exact opposite … SB asking for significant advanced because they have been mislead by SD claiming to want LTR when he is looking for a single encounter. here’s an example:

The important thing to me is that its a commitment of a certain number of days per month for an agreed upon allowance – as opposed to a sporadic relationship with no real definition. A concern of mine is, of course, the individuals who can’t really afford a SB but are looking to fullfill a one-night-stand sort of fantasy with a younger girl – for that reason I would want to discuss allowance being paid half upfront on our first date/intimate time, and the other half partway through the month. In this respect I’m trying to protect myself from the less-than-serious SDs out there

I’ll comment on part 2 later as I have this uncanny habit of posting right before a new blog starts. It’s too early to think too much without another double espresso!

Any feedback on my post?

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

sb-emy: I did understand your last line (I am not one) and I think anyone that applies to will know what you mean. I dated a girl of Asian decent and didn’t know there were guys like that till she asked me if I was one – she then had to explain it to me.

NC Gentsays:

I echo SDN’s comment – I have always helped my SB because I wanted to not because I had to… but I am married, so I also know there is a cost (and pain) associated with a single woman being with a married guy.

Hi SDN — hope your dinner party plans are going well!

NC Gentsays:

Good morning all.

For those of you that may have seen my previous posts, I told my old SB that I wasn’t interested in getting back with her nor would I loan her the money she needed. I doubt I will hear anything back.

Sugababe — there are lots of posts on negotiating the allowance in previous blog topics. There are many opinions on it but it basically comes down to many factors — how often you will see each other, how much contact in between visits, overnight stays, cost of living in your area, how much you like him (I know some don’t feel this is a factor but I know to others it is), what you need to get by, and how much you feel like your time is worth. You might ask him what he has in mind for a budget, but most businessmen know to never make the first offer in negotiating. Maybe you can ask him what range he was considering. Also, you can say – I was thinking x to y per month because these are my expenses plus I would like some spoiling funds…. at least you have somewhat justified it. Best wishes in your negotiations!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Morning all. BCS was exciting not the out come I wanted but had friends that played in Bama so glad for the Tide.

sb-emy: NYGent is spot on once again. Reading his reprint of Flo Rida
s advice will give you what you need to polish your profile.

AM: Most males advice to women on hair – longer wins. Are we talking the purple set you mentioned?

sugababe: I don’t pay for my SBs time. For me an SD/SB relationship is one where we truly enjoy being with each other but where she needs/wants financial help and I am willing and able to give that help. If you want that type of relationship you should figure out what you want/need in the way of help.

IRLSDsays:

sugababe, I think the answer you’re going to get on the blog will be along the following lines–he does not pay for your time per se, but rather providing for you in the form of an allowance that he will pay monthly or perhaps every two weeks ahead of time.

I know, it’s all a nuanced position, because this feels less transactional than saying, “I’ll pay $200/hour,” without necessarily being so if it’s agreed how many hours how many times a week you’ll meet. But in a relationship, the “feel” is everything.

As for what the going rate is for allowance, it all depends on geographic location, the SB, and the intensity of the relationship (e.g. meeting three times a week versus once a month).

sugababesays:

Good morning blog, have a question for you guys. I was ask by a sugar daddy that wants to make me his sugar baby, how much do I seek for my time? I’m not sure what to say. Help please… Thanks you guys.

Morning Everyone! So looking forward to my salon appointment today!
Can’t decide if I should get my bangs cut shorter or not…sigh. I need advice..LOL. No really, I could use advice…especially from any of the SD’s that have seen my uncropped photo. You know who you are 😉

I know, it should be about what I like and either way I would like it, but I want it to be appealing to the opposite sex too

Might do a little shopping as well, hope VS still has that bra and panty set I wanted..

sb-emy: it’s a good start, nice pic (although one or two more would be better, including full body shot). You provide a lot of info on what you’re looking for and what your interests are, but not too much on what you can do for an SD, so it’s a little “one sided” in presentation, but that is easily fixable. take a look at the Flo Rida profile advice above.

Very, very special thanks to BG, Cleo Yaz – You ladies are the best 😀 (that means ALL of you, but those three too :P)

Loooong day today. Still no SD for me But my sister got off of work early so we had a ton of time together!

Nite nite!

cleosays:

Moon Patrol I read your comment regarding oral sex as cultural greeting to the girl on my bed (shut up, it’s not porn) and she says “i wish i were getting that kind of cultural greeting on a regular basis!”

IRLSD – RE: The exchange – is this a first-time SB? I assume she’s younger – maybe she’s still trying to get used to the nature of the relationship. Who knows.

IRLSDsays:

Went out with a new pot tonight. She called me to say she’s at the restaurant waiting (she was 10 min early) but when I got there, no trace of her. After several minutes she texted me saying, “This is not going to work out sory… I just don’t feel comfortable.” Anyways, it turned out the place reminded her too much of ex-boyfriends, so we ended up meeting three or four blocks away and ended up having a great time.

A couple of funny things: First, she kept saying, “You’re such a baby!” which is funny coming from someone just a little over half my age (I always wonder if SBs see me as a dinosaur even though I am in my 30s). I told her, “It’s OK for you to baby me, as long as you don’t treat me like a baby.”

Second, I told her about my employee who told me to keep thinking that the SB is just “another piece of ass” so I don’t end up in complicated emotional situations. The pot found it amusing and didn’t seem the least bit offended. Anyways, why should she be offended at what someone else told me?

She has several others pots lined up, so I told her the arrangement I would offer and I told her to meet them and decide which guy she likes the best. I was also honest with her that she is welcome to keep “looking at the menu” but that it would behoove her if we didn’t because if she did I would and knowing how fickle and easily tempted I am, the relationship would likely not work. She seemed rather genuinely agreeable to it. I was also up-front about my many short-term SA SB relationships so there are no misunderstandings if things don’t last forever, even though I am hoping it will last a good time.

IRLSDsays:

What do people think of this exchange?

SB e-mail: i agree with what you said. only question i have is in order for you to help me financialy do i have to sleep with you before i am ready?

My Answer: The basic answer is that I would never make someone sleep with me before she is ready. I am looking for a serious, moderately long-term relationship in which I will provide generous financial support to one sugar baby. I have had such a relationship before and it was amazing for both me and her. I will not offer an arrangement unless I feel that there is enough personal and physical chemistry to make the relationship work, and similarly, I expect the sugar baby to feel comfortable enough with me personally to be excited about the arrangement. As such, I would allow the sugar baby as much time as she wants to get to know me before we begin a serious arrangement, but I do not see the point of paying someone to decide whether or not she wants to have a relationship with me.

Voluptuarysays:

Thank you all for leaving such great answers and POVs. You give me much to think about. When I was young (and dumb), I had 2 opportunities to be set for life. I was offered a home in Beverly Hills and one in Carmel. Two different men who both died in their prime; one of leukemia and another of melanoma. But because I was fiercely independent at the time and didn’t want to be the next “Anna Nicole” (though being black), I turned both down when the will was read.

I would not do the same again.

Because if they want you to have it, it is because of love in that person’s heart. You give them something they couldn’t find anywhere else and maybe, just maybe this is their only way to say, “thank you for accepting me as I am with no judgment”. Who was to know that I would end up fighting my own physical battle? At that time I was one of the first non-attorney managing partners of a law firm; made excellent money so it wasn’t that I needed his.

So no I wouldn’t do the pay for play per visit, but I would be more gracious in accepting the “love gifts”. Owning a cancer foundation now the money would have been put to good use.

On another note of men’s undewear, I love Calvin Klein, but my friend had a deal with Ralph Lauren who made sure he was decked out with the best undergarments. It was because they grew up together in the Bronx and he knew him when he was Ralph Rueben Lifshitz!

Marie Jacsays:

Oh NYGent love the post btw!

Marie Jacsays:

Sugar Fam,

I hope jerk ex-SD doesnt read the blog. He actually took the time to send me a message as “proof” he did not lie! Yet it still contained lies! I almost want to send a message back like “Are you for real!?”
Other than the, tonight was pretty good with Mr.Pot except he is so cute, ah! I’m smitten. But I won’t get to excited yet

NYGent – Thanks for reposting. I still haven’t caught up to the famous day before Halloween blog, so it’s nice of you to not make us go back and dig.

LASBsays:

Glamazon – Actually, I like Halloween because it’s the night that you DON’T get arrested for dressing like that, since that would mean 50% of the city would get snagged. I’m a big fan of latex clothes, but even in LA, there aren’t many opportunities to wear them.

Under armour are not Speedos! They have long legs on them and are form fitting and designed to be worn over a protective cup if needed. Best underwear I’ve ever owned.

Since there have been a lot of newbie SBs of late I’m re-posting Flo Rida’s profile advice from a few months ago, which became an instant classic:

Profiles – to save time:
Rule1 – don’t say anything negative – no I could lose a few pounds
Rule2 – Personalize be unique – don’t say you’re fun prove it with a story or your humor. Don’t say I’m a foodie say ‘Do you think Per Se is better than French Laundry’ don’t say I’m well travelled say ‘I’ve travelled to 37 countries & can’t decide if dining at Felix overlooking HK Central or snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef is my most memorable experience’
Rule3 – weed out undesirables & also tell people what you want ‘if you are between 30 & 45, emotionally grounded & able to provide mentorship & financial assistance then I’d like to hear from you, I won’t bite (unless biting is what you’re into… kidding!)
Rule4 – upscale it – show you know their world (of course this only applies if you really do).
Rule5 – SD will read the tag line & look at the pics & read the profile. but you can lose them on the tag line – examples Boston Barbie – Simply the best – Better than all the rest – A glimpse of bliss. Insert a line on discretion & balance. Keep it short (SD are very busy and have short attention spans – they’ll decide within 1 min to move on).
Rule6 – Add a line on being 100 percent committed to this & understanding mutually beneficial (with chemistry)
Rule7 – do not add all your interests – most SD aren’t interested in the same things – they don’t care about pilates or Twilight or being a girly girl. Only add interests that connect with them (generally s-x, sportsm food, business, sports cars, travel).
SD lists the SB types as Investigators, Arm Candy, Drama Queens. The only acceptabe category is ‘I’m arm candy on Loubotins and for the right man I offer a glimpse of bliss’.
SD are thinking what will this SB do 4 me – in life as well as the bedroom – r they drama, disease, drug free, do they understand me, will I get along with them, r they fun & balanced, will they follow through. Make sure you answer all these q-s rest is supply-demand.

photogirlsays:

Sincere says:
Photogirl: My dream job is either personal lingerie fitter at VS or greens keeper at Pebble Beach. Yes, I have a fantasy about changing rooms I would love to reenact but that’s a blog posting for “Dear Penthouse”.

I do need a personal fitter 😉

And YES it does look better on floor…but only after you’ve enjoyed taking it off 😉

Midwest –
I too struggle with finding lingerie that fits… I’ve never been able to afford anything other than VS but they are one of the few places that fit me well. And quality wise, I’ve never had any problems.

Cleo –
I do need to upgrade my equipment… so I am with you there!
Re: the dressing room… I bet that was fun and HOT!

Happy Lurker –
Boxers all the way…boxer briefs are ok too…
Either way they ARE going to end up on the floor!
ABSOLUTELY NO tightie whities or speedo undies!!!
(is that too demanding?)

SDN –
I agree…we should all be able to voice our opinions whether we agree or disagree

Cleo –
I do not think you said anything wrong and did not see it as offensive either.

TLG –
You’d better be staying off that ankle 😉 Do you need a personal nurse?

Boston Honey –
Dinner sounds so yummy!!! I need to go eat!

James.m says:
Midwest – don’t even think about the marabou snowman. I’m more the musical elephant type.
I think you just brought back a horrible childhood memory and am now afraid to go look at that site. But I am sure you’ll cute in them lol.

Midwest –
Ok, now with the candy cane comment I MUST GO LOOK!

Candy Cane…. WOW!
I want to hear which outfits the men like for the women!

Boston Honeysays:

Midwest…absolutely you can create a club like atmosphere in your own home and tease your man…or …feel sexy yourself strut around in style. Ohh, I like your choices….. This is just one of my all time favorite sites…..and good price points… They all go into my costume/lingerie collection….

Anyway I’m not worried about the family murder issues as they happen everyone. I’m more concerned with the gangs in my apartment complex.

Gosh this thing is addicting. I need to log off and do something useful.
Goodnight

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

or like my boss who got caught trying to hire someone to kill her husband. Remember Cathy Shamp on the news? Good friend of mine, great boss and she would have given me my days off to visit my sd in Ny.

I know its a topic but the Mom had too many rules so they killed her. now they get to learn the rules of the Texas prison system!

Well thats good so I did that but am getting frustrated with the computer. I don’t like using my brain to solve computer code. Anyway yea Houston is kind of barbaric like the teen that payed another to kill his mom .

ESBsays:

I have lots to do, so I need to get off of here… night all.. Boston, ask Midnight to give you my email if you can’t get to my profile to send it on here. I may not be able to checkit til Mon though now.

YES!! Several people know where I am going, where I am staying, contact Numbers of whre I am staying, and his home phone #. I am being safe. Please don’t worry, I’ve done this before!! 😉

Night all, have a wonderful weekend, try to stay warm, and I’ll update you all when I get back!!

Playing at a professional level is like training for the Olympics!

I think my site is working but here’s my number 409805

I need a massage….sigh.

Gemini29says:

Moon and NYGent – the reason you can see it is because you are both male. And if a SB logs in to see the profile, she can’t because she’s…da da dum..female.

If you change whatever is in the “website” section up thar (under you email addy) to http:slash slashseekingarrangement dot com/member/detail.php?id=# then everyone can view it, not just you and the gents 😉

james.msays:

ESBsays:

Moon, I saw it, Very interesting!! I had to choose between being an art major in college, or music. I made the wrong choice. I went with art. Should have stuck to my dream of being a concert flutist. Ah well… life goes on!!

WHen I click the link it comes right Up I’m getting bored with fooling with it But I’d like some of the sbs here to see it

james.msays:

BH – From the things that shouldn’t happen to a parent department (but really did):

We were having a family dinner one night during the nineties, and both my daughters were home. I looked at my ex, and said something like, “Do you know what that idiot said today? Oral sex isn’t sex. Do you believe that??”
At which point my younger daughter, a freshman in college, said, “But, it’s not!”

Ok Moon, replace this “/member/detail.php?id=YOUR MEMBER NUMBER” after the SA website addy in the website portion. The way the link is now, none of the ladies can view it.

james.msays:

Moon Patrol: you need to take “same” out of “samedetail” in your URL. AM, just cursor over his blue name, and look at the URL that appears at the bottom of the page. Copy down his profile number, and substitute it for one of your favorites.

Boston Honeysays:

Hi ESB

Boston Honeysays:

HL what is your choice? Since you started this topic….. he hee

Boston Honeysays:

James what is your favorite? he hee… I thought you (everyone) would get a kick out of those… Yes, they have some fine things. Actually, I have several things from this company as they are one of my resources for costumes, club wear, lingerie, etc…

Ladies what do you think? Lets have a vote on our favorite wear for our SD’s…. 😉 **Insert evil grin**

Midwest – I will do a search and read up on the past blogs which is something I haven’t done yet… Thanks for the great tips..as always…

MoonPatrol – Cut your losses and move on. What is the point of hanging around someone who does not appreciate you? What does this prove?

ESBsays:

Good evening everyone!! Well, good news. One of the pots I have been chatging with finnally decided we HAVE to meet. Last night we booked a flight for me to go see him Tomorrow night. I’ll be staying in his town ’til Sunday. I get there at 11:20. That is 1:20 my time. Will be leaving there 4:15 his time, getting home at 10:05 here… then the 1.5 hour drive home from the airport… I’m going to be dead on Mon. Holy cow, what am I thinking? Not the traveling or anything, just the times of the flights!! I love to fly!! Just going to be one tired puppy when I get home!!

So, I won’t be back on again until probably Mon. or maybe even Tues. I will more than likely come home Mon. from work and crash. going to be a crazy next few days… just like the rest of my life!! 😉

Midwest – don’t even think about the marabou snowman. I’m more the musical elephant type.

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

Funny Texas sds looking for NY sbs and NYsds looking for Texas sbs

NYCSB- I wish there was a way you could have known before you stepped out to meet him. My current SB said she was 36 in the profile and found out she was 50! Her body ain’t totally bad but I still was deceived and might not have met if I know her age in this case. I’m looking for A New York SB .

nycsb #2says:

he’d call me once in awhile or text and complain about how girls he met on SA are not who they say they are, don’t look like their pics, basically *sob sob sob!

well… he did not look like his pics and almost everything on his profile was a LIE. well at least he told me the the truth about his ‘status’ once we met, but why the lies buddy? i was too nice to say anything about how his profile didn’t match his actual self. needless to say, i won’t be seeing him agaiN!

AM – a broken collar bone is no excuse at all! Besides, if he kept the date, think of all the sympathy and solicitous mothering you could give him!

What are the advantages of never talking to an SB again after I already rescued one from her demise but then realized I was deceived and that she wasn’t what I wanted. I sort of feel like i didn’t get anything for my investment but I don’t want to see my money just go to her and me get nothing gut a good deed vibe,. Is it a loss that I will just keep feeling?

Three things I cannot go without~Sugar,Air, and Water : )
Hey Lisa….whats for dinner!

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

So sorry for assumning otherwise Cleo – XO

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

off topic and on the subject of the fake engagements and fake weddings you all were talking about the other evening. I just read in Marie Claire magazine that a Chinese company is marketing fake blood squirting hymens to middle eastern women who risk being killed if they aren’t virgins on their wedding nights. If anyone wants to take fake to the extreme, these are 30 dollars, probably payable in monopoly money, lol

Has there already been a blog on flying to a different city to meet someone?

Midwest ~ Thanks for the help BTW

NEOhio SBsays:

Good evening sugars ~~ Just chiming in before the “Roll tide roll” chanting starts.

TXSB ~~ Thank you for the welcome back and the kind wish. I will say, the New Year could NOT have begun better…a Buckeye Rose Bowl win and opening my heart to someone special have totally enlightened me and given me a whole new perspective and divergence from the typical SD arrangement.

Midwest ~~ Thank you too. Im lost in all these new blogs and posts, but from what i can gather, you have finally found a great SD to appreciate you for the quality and wonderful woman you are…and yes, you deserve a GREAT SD.

NYSB ~~ I “never” said i buy the la perla for myself.

And to all the other new names here i must do some homework and read back past blogs i have missed out on in the past 5 weeks.

Roll tide roll !!! Impartial for the mere fact i DON’T like what the Longhorns did to my boyz last year…so i must root for the Bama boyz. Nite all.!!!

Thanks Midwest. His flight touches down on Sat…. Amazing, incredible connection so far…. He has my attention that is for sure… Hey you might have to get James something sexy from threewishes.com

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Cleo – Count to 10 and ask yourself that question again. Everyone here agrees with your original comment, even if some don’t agree with your bluntness. Personally, I think your bluntness is a genuine part of your character and would never want that to change. there is a time to let things go and a time to press on. (((hugs)))

BH – You have got “sugary” down to an art! Good luck with your pot!

AM – This means you’re free to come to the Midwest Meet! What if there’s a super low rate for you to fly??? SDs – have any business partners flying to Chicago on their chartered plane who would love to help a lady?

cleosays:

hmm reposting failed. i think this is a hint. have a good evening sugars

Boston Honeysays:

repost

cleosays:

okay i’m reposting – if this one also gets held please don’t post it twice.
.
SDN: yeah it was pretty hot. too bad he turned out to be a total tool in the end… that said, i did get two incredibly sexy and comfy bras out of the deal so i guess it wasn’t a total loss (kinda yeah it still was)

that and an enduring set of shopping fantasies that had never occurred to me before…

OCSugarbaby thank you for explaining, i now understand better why my reaction hit you the way it did.
.
Mandy: i would love to but i have one more client tonight…

but then? omg yes i’m totally having a drink
.
ATxBlondie i would like an sd who lives close enough for spontaneous meetups but not so close that he’s showing up at my door unexpectedly. so an hour or two away by car (which i have – the car i mean, not the sd… yet)
.
gemini: oh god corsets and bustiers…

*slips and falls on giant puddle of drool that just appeared at her feet*
.
glamazon/LASB: i will always spend on things that matter first but if you don’t treat yourself a LITTLE sometimes you lose your mind. even if it’s just a cheap mani/pedi it can do wonders for the soul.

in moderation of course, land and investments and financial safety matter more…
.
NyGent: thank you – and i agree, we should not be calling each other names or trying to be offensive but we must be able to call bull excrement where we see it or the blog (to me) loses the point of it’s existence.
.
2chic: love your take on it all.

the ski meet is supposed to be east coast btw and should involve a place with a great spa and restaurants too. there’s a few non-skiers in the group…

well i addressed a lot of comments but that comment is currently awaiting approval. i am tempted to repost all but one word because by the time it posts no one will see it.

what do you guys think?

Boston Honeysays:

James – Gotcha’ didn’t I. You know I am a biker…. LOL. Ok, go to threewishes.com and check out the wear for men, men’s collections, men’s sexy wear…he hee… I want to see a man wear those…..lol….. So far all I have seen are little skiers and golfers on boxers, silk leopard print wear, tightie’ whities’ and speedo undies…..LOL. I guess whatever is most comfortable for you all….

NC GENT – I will keep that in mind. I like to tantalize with my lingerie…..

On another note, I have been talking on the, texting, and emailing someone on the site whom the connection is absolutely amazing so far….. I am talking wow……. Let’s see what happens….

I just cooked tortellini with homemade pesto, baby spinich salad, cranberries, and diced almonds with EVOO and lots of garlic…mmmmm.

KLM – If you are trying to write me on SA – SBs cannot contact SBs. Many have my e-mail and it’s posted in earlier blogs. If you want to send me yours I will write you.

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Ladies with property – I was once one of you and hope to be again someday. I have to say there are advantages to NOT owning your own props as a single mom…no landscaping (even though I have a yard), no maintenance, no surprises, no problem. I think I am particularly lucky in the place that I have found. After lay-offs and large decreases in pay to get a career I LOVE, and slowlyt rebuilding, the time has returned to start thinking about my future again. That is an amazing feeling to return to. I’m always willing to listen to sound financial advice.

Boxers vs Briefs – I *LOVE* boxer briefs…they hug the buns and show off all the assets without showing too much…YES!

JustMe – If you read your post back to yourself, I believe you answer your own question.

Hi everybody…cooking hambugers and blogging at the same time..LOL.

Just Me ~ I’m sorry to hear about your situation

JustMesays:

He’s considering leaving his wife. He’s talking about getting an apartment and still having to pay bills at the house they share because he’d be obligated. He called me and told me about the conversation he and his wife had – he finally told her that he wasn’t happy with her. Now that I’ve started dating someone he’s afraid he’ll miss this “window of opportunity” and he’s even more stressed than usual because he wants me to move to his state so that we can be together and he wants to leave her but doesn’t want to hurt her.

I wasn’t going to post this on the blog but I just found out a few days ago that he’s into guys. He didn’t tell me – I stumbled upon some photos and messages he exchanged and he actually met up with a guy last night. He doesn’t know that I know any of this. He wont tell me or admit any of this to me.

I don’t know what to do. I feel so guilty. The financial security and stability of being with him would be great but it’s so funny how that’s what I’ve wanted and now that I have it, it’s becoming less and less important to me. Things are so complicated.

Lisa that Actually Has an SDsays:

“The Millionare next door” lol lol lol sorry I couldn’t resist, if you you could see my neighbors, lol

LASB – You are doing exactly what you should be doing, controlling your own destiny is absolutely the way. What does a girl need with $500 shoes if she doesn’t own where she lays her head???? In defense of some of the ladies on here (MEN) If they can’t manage their finances and their lives are in turmoil throwing money at them won’t make much of a difference and you may as well flush it down the toilet. Some of the SB on here should go purchase the book “The Millionaire next door”. Everyone on here (SDies included) should read “The Creature from Jekyll Island”. The best thing I ever did was buy rental property while my friends were buying cars and throwing money away on hand bags and shoes. It’s not that I couldn’t use the help of a SD, I most certainly can, and I can assure you that I would use the money, contacts, guidance, advise, mentor ship and exposure to create something that he will be really proud to say that he had a hand in. As opposed to getting someone down off of a pole and into a regular occupation. Though I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with low expectations. 😀 lol

cleosays:

NC Gent i know for a fact that you aren’t the only one who likes the lingerie to stay on

cleosays:

SDN: yeah it was pretty hot. too bad he turned out to be a total tool in the end… that said, i did get two incredibly sexy and comfy bras out of the deal so i guess it wasn’t a total loss (kinda yeah it still was)

that and an enduring set of shopping fantasies that had never occurred to me before…
.
Mandy: i would love to but i have one more client tonight…

but then? omg yes i’m totally having a drink
.
ATxBlondie i would like an sd who lives close enough for spontaneous meetups but not so close that he’s showing up at my door unexpectedly. so an hour or two away by car (which i have – the car i mean, not the sd… yet)
.
OCSugarbaby thank you for explaining, i now understand better why my reaction hit you the way it did.
.
gemini: oh god corsets and bustiers…

*slips and falls on giant puddle of drool that just appeared at her feet*
.
glamazon/LASB: i will always spend on things that matter first but if you don’t treat yourself a LITTLE sometimes you lose your mind. even if it’s just a cheap mani/pedi it can do wonders for the soul.

in moderation of course, land and investments and financial safety matter more…
.
NyGent: thank you – and i agree, we should not be calling each other names or trying to be offensive but we must be able to call bull excrement where we see it or the blog (to me) loses the point of it’s existence.
.
2chic: love your take on it all.

the ski meet is supposed to be east coast btw and should involve a place with a great spa and restaurants too. there’s a few non-skiers in the group…

How DO SDs feel about their SB having a contrary opionion to theirs? Would they want them to share it? Or do they prefer the SB to keep it to themselves, and keep things only light and “sugary”?

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

TXSB: Well put for the most part but, honey only a fool could get bored with you!

SDs & SBs: As a blogger I want to hear when you disagree. This blog or any conversation would be boring if we all agree. I especially want my SB or GF to have an opinion and be willing to share it with me!

Re: Men’s underwear
I like boxers but at the end of the day….it doesn’t really matter b/c it’s not like it’ll stay on for too long! 😉
————————————————————————-

Re: La Perla
Ummm…..they have bras that cost $500??!!! Really??!!!

a lot of its is presentation, personal vs. substantive. Telling a blogger “your’e an idiot” (or words to that effect) is not nice, saying you strongly disagree with a post on the merits should be fair comment.

Hello Every one

Cleo: understand your POV, I did not find it offensive, you were being honest.

OC: understand your desire for sugar love

NYG, : thanks for the speaking up.

TXSBsays:

Hi Everyone!

Anna:
Sorry to hear about the pot.
—————————————————-

NYGent:
Good point! Most SDs would have to have a “thick skin” to get to where they are in life…I’m sure they’re used to dealing with non sugary comments all the time and don’t get “hurt” easily.
——————————————————

Re: Finances
As a grown woman, I’m perfectly capable of handing my own finances. But if I wanted a man to be in control if my finances, I have my dad for that…….it would be stupid on my part to allow a man I recently met (ie. SD) to have complete control of my finances. Heck the SD could get bored with me and leave after 2 months! Besides, *most* SDs have their own lives/work/family to deal with….the last thing they want to do is worry and be responsible for their SBs entire financial life. Just my 2 cents.

Thanks SDN

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

AM: Sorry about your pot canceling. Broken collar bone, I would say that is a good reason to cancel.

I think Cleo has a valid point to the extent she is suggesting there may be a bit of a double standard in terms of tolerating SD and SB comments. I would hate to think that we SD’s are immune from criticism if we say dumb or offensive things just because we are in short supply on the blog and there’s a desire to attract more of us to it. Most SDs are professionals who didn’t get to be where they are today by having thin skins and only being able to deal with sugary comments and support for their opinions.

Anna Molly – I had the same thought. What would we abbreviate it to though? WIGTFUTBM is still long

Hello whatsitgnatake4utobemine

Would you mind if we abbreviated your name?

Gemini29says:

As for La Perla vs VS, I cannot speak to the difference, as I’ve never tried (nor even tried ON) la Perla. I like the outrageous flirtiness of VS, I can say that much. Now if only I could try some of the better makers of corsets and bustiers….that would be awesome.

Thank you to Everyone that has gave me a warm welcoming.

Blond’s or Brunette’s was an earlier question. I have always fallen in love with Brunette’s. Except my very first love was a blonde.

Gee Gem,
Never thought of that.
I suppose that you are right and men stick to whatever their mom bought for them. I never gave it much thought and just bought something cheap for years.
But then some five years ago when on the Camino de Santiago, in the town of Burgos I went into a shop called Men’s Secret, a nice pun on VC.
The lady just sold men’s underwear.
In the heat you start to sweat and it trickles down into you briefs and the cheap material start to chave and walking becomes painful.
So I bought some Calvin Klein boxer shorts after I had explained my predicament. Together we laughed a lot about it.
Anyway after one day of convalessence in a hostal, I walked on with that feel good factor “a good man is hard to find”. After several days the temperature really rose and I started to feel desperate as walking was getting painful again. Then I realized that inside your pants the heat just keeps building up so I unzipped the fly and marched on.
With the barn doors wide open, the morning air was now pregnant with the fragrance of cooked acorn, but it gave relief for my poor skin. Thus I marched on and into town and had completely forgotten. Just wondered why all those Spanish girls were oggling that poor pilgrim who passed them by.
Having arrived at the refugio ( a refuge for pilgrims) I discovered why.
Suppose I was the talk of the town.
So now I buy a certain type and make of underwear
HL, that lewd pilgrim

LASBsays:

Hi Sugars. After a busy morning, I’m still catching up on the blog. I’m also playing hooky from fitness boot camp. Crawling through the dirt sucked, and after the first afternoon of such activities, my beer gut is nearly gone, so I’m ditching out today.

GlAmazon – As always, you have articulated my sentiments exactly. My land/property/investments will buy my shoes. Right now though I am buying my land/property/investments. I don’t ever hide that I want riches in my life, but when asked to defend it, my reasoning is that I want to get to a point in my life where ALL my decisions are not based on finances. I don’t want to have to decide on whether I should spend money on a purse, shoes, or a better insurance plan. I want all 3 to be no-brainer yes answers. I am not there yet, but know it will happen with discipline and good decision making. And like you, my finances aren’t a totally disaster and I’ve worked really hard to be where I am in life, which then “takes me out of the running” for SDs who want a fixer-upper, but I think it’s better just to own who I am, and if that narrows the pool, oh well.

Vicky’s versus La Perla. Well La Perla’s quality is leaps and bounds above VS, but my favorite designs tend to come from Agent Provocateur. However, I wonder how much the line is going to change, since Vivian’s son is out of the picture. I do believe that for most things, you get what you pay for. Of course though there is also the law of diminishing returns, but I’m not trying to bore everyone.

Kiki (426179)says:

i’m coming in late here, but james – chainlove – hahaha! and in tune with the lingerie chat, i am a canuck, and i like la senza b/c that’s really all i can afford! i think the only VS item i ever bought was their lipgloss 😐 lol

I have nothing against boxers and I would certainly prefer them over plain ole’ briefs any day

james.msays:

Hi Anna Molly; just had to run off to a meeting and beat the troops for a minute…didn’t mean to leave you alone.

james.msays:

Mandy: I always liked blondes, but in looking back, I’d never gone out with one. Then, the last 3 women I dated and my SB are blondes. In conclusions, I really don’t care about hair color, it’s the woman under the hair that matters. Of course, it would be a consideration in picking the right color Snuggie for her!

Never had a true redhead, though…

What is it with boxer/briefs? They remind me of the compression shorts we wore playing football. I thought you’d all prefer boxers for your men…

I’ve got a troubling question… Blonde, or brunette? 😮

Gemini29says:

Not very experienced on different brands of men’s underwear. Is there a difference? Or do all men just go with whatever brand their mother originally started buying for them? *ducks and runs for cover*

Let met put a smile on your faces again.
All this talk about VC and la Perla.
Is this blog just “girls-only”? Lol.
Could I direct the attention of the SBs to something even more important ?
No, it is not the smelly socks that he keeps on, be it Burberry or Boss.
What about his underwear.
By personal preference I just wear Calvin Klein, girls like me to see in there as the slogan runs “a good man is hard to find”. To their joy, the slogan has magically turned into “a hard man is good to find “.
Now ladies what kind of underwear would you chose for him, if you took him out for a shopping spree ?
There is magic in words, isn’t it ?
HL

Mandy & Atxblondie: Don’t think I have said hello to you two yet! Hello and welcome.

CA Dreamin: Hey baby, missing you too

james.m: That one stuck out to me too…you just beat me to it.

Gemini29says:

Hello sugars!

Atxblondie- I’m probably one of the few sugars on here who would prefer distance in my SD. I like to have my own life, my SD to have his own life, and a few times a month we meet up to have our own special fun times together.

In reply to IRLSD’s “SB’s finances” question: I would never want to give another person that much control over my finances and therefor me. If I wanted someone to dictate how I spend my money and what I do with it and how I should handle it, I would move back in time to Henry VIII’s England…. Noooo thank you. I am much happier and more independent if I learn to manage and budget my own finances…that is the only way I’ll learn. Also, I would be highly suspicious if a SD wanted to control my finances, or would only give me an allowance if HE could decide how it were spent…to the point that I would decline his offer in a heartbeat. Having someone control me like that is not my idea of a fun mutually beneficial arrangement.

james.msays:

BH – had to qui9ck check out “Chainlove”. It turned out it was a bike store! **averts embarrassed eyes**

OCSugarbabysays:

Who am I kidding I totally FIT into IRLSD’s comment. My finances were a mess when I came on SA. Who’s fault was that? The economy? Life? No ME!!! I will not blame others or circumstance for my finances. I could have made better choices and didn’t. But with the help of my SD I turned the corner.
In regard to myself…IRLSD’s comment hit a home run.

Atxblondiesays:

Marie Jac & Midwest Mistress of the Dark:

Thank you for the advice.

Went on my jog/walk today with my first pot SD. He was still a very nice gentleman and we had great conversation once again. I am definitely going to be keeping my options for the possibilities of meeting other SD’s right now. Not going to jump on the first SD I met. We haven’t discussed any allowance issues yet. Just kind of feeling out the waters right now. But I do have another pot SD to meet next week. I kind of like the idea that the second SD lives an hour away.

What are some of your opinions on distance between the two of you in a SD/SB relationship?

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Hi SDN – missing you on the slopes!

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Ladies – to your corners!!!

I’m not taking sides with anyone here, but, yes, IRLSD’s comment did lump ALL SB’s togther painting us all as financially irresponsible – which is not the case, I think we can all agree on that much.

NOW, with that said, IRLSD tends to make comments like that and I just chalk it up to him typing what he thinks without thinking about how it really sounds So I ignore things in his posts that make me scowl

OCSugarbabysays:

Mandy…glad to see you have the love! Maybe it will catch on and the blog will get back to happier times.

Boston Honey – Yes, the only things in life that actually matter with the exception of personal relationships and experiences are those that have intrinsic value. Help me buy more land and my land will buy my shoes. ;-D lol

cleosays:

ocsugarbaby: the point of my comment was to suggest that irlsd consider phrasing things in a way that is more respectful to women.

you took my comment in response to someone else as insulting and negative and are now asking both to police my words and to have the last word on the subject while including a backhanded comment about my rudeness and unsugary behaviour. why do you get to decide what i am allowed to say and how i am allowed to say it?

perhaps we might both benefit from a step back and since i am about to have clients for the afternoon i’ll take it.

Cleo, step off the hate ladder and chill. No one is telling you anything. Heaven forbid. Just asking for all to show a bit more blog love.
All the negitivity lately is hard to take.

CA Dreamin SBsays:

Amazon – roads are fine but it’s a bit chilly – I was freezing this morning!

Boston Honeysays:

La Pearla is great, VS works well, AP nice too… La Senza ok… I agree with Cleo I like things that keep their value and would rather invest in other areas of my life i.e. school, business, land, tax sales, etc…

I like these sites a lot for great deals on gear, outdoor wear etc…

Gearattack.com

monitors

steepandcheap

whiskeymilitia

tramdock

brociety

chainlove

cleosays:

mandy: thanks, i thought i was being neutral as well.

cleosays:

oc i’m not frustrated or taking anything out on anyone. i’m sorry if my words come across that way. i am simply saying that irlsd is coming across as superior and insulting and that i wish he would understand that we aren’t all the same.

why is it that he can blanket insult sb’s but i can’t comment that i don’t like the insult?

yes this is a positive space for venting and support and non-judgement but isn’t HE judging US? to me what you’re saying is that a sugar DADDY can say anything he wants about the sb’s but that a sugar BABY better shut up and take it?

CA Dreaming, – how are the roads and temps up there? It’s freezing down here.

Mandy(SB)says:

I think Cleo had a point and said it in a neutral tone. If he is offended (really, it’s just one person’s opinion), then she will apologize, which I think is pretty sweet, and implies she doesn’t mean to cause tension or hurt feelings.

Hey OC! We had about 5″ of fresh powder at the top of the mountain this morning – was SO worth it to get up and be there when the lifts opened. First tracks…it was awesome.

cleosays:

OCSugarbaby i think what i said is okay and i understand that you want the blog to be sweet all the time but if we can’t be truthful this place has no point.

that said, if IRLSD tells me that my comments were harsh or hurtful to him i will apologize in a heartbeat.
.
amazon goddess i think it’s the usual thing where what people SAY they want and what they actually chase are not the same.

OCSugarbabysays:

Cleo, just asking you to not take your frustration out on others. Negitivity is what we all want to keep off the blog. The blog has a huge point! It is a fabulous positive none judgemental place for all sugars to go for venting or advice.

Hi CA Dreaming! Swish Swish… How is the skiing? You are so lucky! I will trade places with you. Sitting behind a desk or hitting the slopes! You have the better end of the stick Enjoy!!!

It’s kind of funny hearing that it bothers men when they give women money who make poor decisions, live beyond their means and can’t manage their own finances. Yet people on this site always tell me things like men want women that need them, those they can help and improve so it will be difficult for a woman such as myself to find a SD. Now I would think that I would be an easier woman to help, improve guide and mentor since I’m already on the path.

“Better to have it and not to need it, than to need it and not to have it!”

Hi Amazon!
I think we DO need them and they need us. It is just finding the right fit to your need. Which can be a major pain sometimes

cleosays:

photogirl: yeah i might make an equipment purchase or two… though i don’t currently need much more than a few hundred bucks worth (since that’s what broke me last year, getting all the stuff i didn’t have) [re 3 mos allowance]
.
SincereSD i think this is where the advantage in dating self-sufficient women comes into play. if i had blown my three month allowance i could still pay my rent/bills/life expenses based solely on my income.
.
NYGent: no VS here and haven’t tried La Perla. Can tell you with utter certainty that Eres ($200+ bras) are about fifteen times more comfortable than la senza (canadian version of VS that was [i believe] recently bought by VS) and seem to be made extremely well. i’ve been wearing a pair of eres bras for hmmm 8 months or so and both are holding up extremely well to constant wearing and get me comments all the time about how fine my girls are looking these days.

sexiest things i’ve ever worn and comfy like sports bras (WITH UNDERWIRE!)
.
IRLSD i don’t like how dismissive and superior you come across with your comments about SB finances. maybe you should consider the WAY you choose them and stop tarring all of us with the same brush.
.
photogirl i have been bra shopping with a man who stood outside the dressing room and waited for me to come out and model whatever i was trying on. oh god i get hot just remembering the look in his eyes…
.
woo hoo sincere sd likes me extra *giggle*

Cleo, if you don’t like something just let it go! That was not too sugary to say to IRLSD…

Mandy(SB)says:

Hi MMD!! (is that an okay abbrv?)

I always like your replies

OCSugarbabysays:

Marie…Try to remember that the SD’s you meet will have also had a few bad experiences. Ok maybe more than a few :/
Each new meet can be fun if you forget the past bad experiences and give the new experience a chance. I know that it can be hard not to carry over a bit of trepidation into the next one but put on your biggest smile and keep an open mind. Let us know how it goes!! >>>> here’s some sugar luck

Good plan, can’t wait to hear how it goes, and I hope he’s right up your alley!

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

NeOhio SB – HI!! Glad to see you are back and well!

ATxBlondie – If he said 39 and you think he’s in his 40’s he may have fudged his age to stay within certain search criteria. I do the same thing and fudge my age by 3 years to stay in the under 40 demographic. I do come clean right away and he may do the same during your jog. I know physical attraction is a huge factor in chemistry, so give him a few dates to see if there is something there. On the fair side, I don’t know that I would accept a full (or even partial) allowance until I had made up my mind that I could/would see it through. Good luck!

Marie- Yay on the date! Definitely put on some music, dance around in your underwear and have some fun tonight! Be the best sugar baby you can be and the rewards will be great! Shake off those bad experiences…it’s all a part of the process.

Sincere and NYGent – glad to hear the SDs perspective on lingerie…I don’t think it’s money well spent in my opinion unless it’s something I am going to get a lot of wear from. I am not particularly fond of VS, but I struggle with those who carry my size.

SB Finances – There are some who could benefit from some advice. Taking over their finances seems like treating them like children. Teach a man to fish…. Be a mentor – it’s what you are great at! Some will take your advice, some won’t, so what. I do know SDs like to improve the quality of life for their sb, so I would suggest the sbs do what they can to be a) grateful and b) somewhat accountable.

I guess that’s because it’s too cold to go outside.

Mandy(SB)says:

Don’t worry Sincere, I’ve had guys try on my panties before nbd

marie jacsays:

Photogirl: Damn, you have some sneaky eyes to remember a credit card name! Good work! I wish I had skills like that

On the La Perla topic, I think it feels great, but $500 for a bra?! I can’t buy bra’s in VS because they don’t make my band size and I don’t think they rank too high in the quality department (from what I’ve herd). For small bands sizes La Perla is good, but I mean for every day? It might be a little much. (If I could afford them for every day….i would probably do it) Plus, they’re detailing is AMAZING!

SB finances: Seriously, tuition is very high…40,000 PLUS books. No full time student is making that. So…sorry IRLSD.

Atxblondie: Well said on the escort business. I’ve had a bunch of encounters with escort seekers. Earlier in the blog I asked about advice on the age lying, everyone told me to run as fast as I could, but then again mine lied by 30 years and changed our agreement all over the place. Good luck though, hope he is nice!!

AM/TXSB: Well in all fairness we don’t have VS in Vancouver, so I haven’t spent much time in their stores.

james: really? I thought their batteries were notorious for being crappy. Will check it out…. After the Olympics!! Haha

SincereSDsays:

IRLSD says: SincereSD, I am amazed that she was too embarrassed to ask for more. Most SBs are very forward about their needs.

IRLSD, in my experience, how forward a SB is about needing and asking for money is really a function of their personality and upbringing. I have encountered and have had relationships with needy, ungrateful SB who always have their hands out but I’ve also been lucky and had some who are not (as) concerned about money. For example, I have had 2 SB who declined to take the full allowance stating it was too much. OTHO, I have had terrible luck with models and actresses wrt allowances and gifts as it seems whatever I provide is not enough.

photogirl says: Maybe you should have taken her in, and gone into the dressing room with her to get a better idea

My dream job is either personal lingerie fitter at VS or greens keeper at Pebble Beach. Yes, I have a fantasy about changing rooms I would love to reenact but that’s a blog posting for “Dear Penthouse”. 👿

TXSB says: As far as lingerie goes, personally its not like I will have them on for too long anyway…lol

I agree 1000% with you. Lingerie looks better on the floor. I personally find the medium priced apparel sexy but can speak about the comfort. All I know is that the price is inversely proportional to the size of the garment :p

SD NEOhio (SDN) says: SB finances: I might be able to give good advice, if asked, but who am I to tell her or anyone how to live and what to do with their money. Also given the amount of foolish moves we SDs have made maybe the SBs could help us lol.

I totally agree. I will give advise when asked but it’s none of my business how my SB spends unless she is always asking for advances or excessive gifts.

James.msays:

MmmmMandy: I’ve had no problems with my IPhone battery. Make an appointment at your local mall’s iPhone store’s genius bar (can be done over the phone), and they’ll figure it out. If you pout and flirt just right, they’ll probably fix at a discount or free.

James.msays:

PG I think we all have that fantasy, probably with the “variations” SDN mentioned.

TXSBsays:

Re: La Perla
Good to know it’s only the quality of the material. I still think I’d prefer VS and splurge $ on designer purses/shoes. A purse/shoe or other items that I can use often and for years are worth splurging IMO. With lingerie…firstly it’s not something I would wear for too long…and of course I’d want a variety of styles/colors. If I had a Fendi purse, I would use it 5 years from now……but I’m ok with not having the same lingerie 2-3 years from now…lol. That’s just my personal preferance though…..I guess everyone has their “thing”.
————————————————————————

NeOhio:
Good to *see* you! Hope the New Year is going well for you so far…
———————————————————————-

Blondie:
Hi and Welcome!

Atxblondiesays:

OMG I love this Blog!!

Thank you so much to every Sugar out here replying. I am a brand spanking new SB and went on my first meet & greet with a pot SD last night. He was a very nice gentleman and we had wonderful conversation for hours. He asked if he could go jogging with me today and I agreed. Looking forward to the conversation today. Don’t know if we will be a match though since I wasn’t extremely attracted to him off the bat. But we’ll see how it goes from here. But a couple of things that kind of strike me odd was his age, he mentioned that he was 39 and I don’t think that is true at all. He looks more like in his mid to late 40’s. I have no problem with age if you have a great personality. Just be honest please is all I ask.

On the topic of Pay per Date:

OH NO WAY!! I would not feel comfortable with that at all. If you are wanting an Escort go out and get one. But for me being a SB entitles way more than just someone you have sex with and walk out the door.

Well everyone wish me luck out here in SugarLand. I’ll be back to check in from time to time.

Addendum to NYGent ~~ Much appreciated your advice way back on the hotels in nyc. In all of my weekly/biweely travels, I have made the Michaelangelo my home away from home. Thank you again.

I do hope you find that great quality SB to treat you with respect, passion that you deserve !!

NEOhio SBsays:

Happy Belated New Year to everyone~~~

After a long absence from posting or even lurking, missing the NY meet due to bout of strept throat, getting geared up for my “crunch” season, I came back on just to wish everyone a hello and much Sugar in the New Year. Wishing everyone all the happiness, dreams fulfilled, louboutins, la perla and fun moments that become memories in the New Year. May you all find the best sugar relationships you have always dreamed of.

I will not even have the time to catch up on all the newbie names here, let alone the rapid postings, but need to comment on a few of what i have read:

NYGent ~~ WOOOHOOO, Yes, we finallyl did it and it was a great game to be at. Had a great time wearing my scarlet and gray and even getting on a plane heading back wearing it, rather than covering up with another color as I did in the past few bowl games.

RE: La Perla : La Perla is my middle name. I have to totally disagree with the few comments about VS. Years ago when i modeled for VS, I thought OMG…this is it. As time went on, i have realized w out a doubt…La Perla is one of the tiramisus of lingerie. It is NOT itchy by any means, the quality far exudes the silk in VS…and to note…Gilson is the most exquisite Belguim silk there is, Prior blogs of VC and I discussing. The visual seduction of la perla is priceless…the quality exudes…and VS can in no way, shape or form light a candle!! nuf said.

In the quiet solitude i probably will NOT encounter for months, I will eventually be back to see the new blog romances and to hear of all the happiness of the SBs and SDs from this blog raving on about the incredible arrangements you all have.

TXSB – I was serious… Not necessarily at La Perla… but I cannot be the only one with this fantasy can I? Yes risqué… but it could be oh so fun!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Good Morning everyone!

Lingerie: I am a fan, but I am with TXSB on this one. No need to spend a fortune, it is really the wrapping, not the gift.

SB finances: I might be able to give good advice, if asked, but who am I to tell her or anyone how to live and what to do with their money. Also given the amount of foolish moves we SDs have made maybe the SBs could help us lol.

IRLSDsays:

KLM, that’s the kind of SB I want–who puts the money to building a future for herself.

OCSugarbabysays:

Good Morning Sugars!IRLSD very good point. Building for your future is just a small example of what would set a good SB apart from the others. Why would anyone want to just throw money into a black hole. Having goals and a plan to get yourself back on the financial freedom path is so important. Having a solid plan to improve your life be it with furthering your education, improving your job with classes or certifications or just learning a few new job skills (computer/spreadsheet/etc. I don’t agree on giving full control of my finances to my SD/BF. What would I learn from that? Nada….
Teaching someone to fish is so much better than just putting fish infront of them As for fine exquisite (La Perla) lingerie? Ladies… it is the quality that makes it AMAZING. When you invest in quality it lasts longer and your investment has a far better value. SD’s would you buy a generic set of golf clubs or would you go for the gold? Is it really your gofling ability or is it the feeling you get of sheer delight when swinging a Callaway? Maybe a knockoff set called Pong (not Ping) would work just as well. Hmmmm…

Mandy:
Yes, having to wait for the profile to be “approved” after every tiny change is frustrating!
———————————————————————–

Photogirl:
LOL @ advice to NYGent!

TXSBsays:

Good Morning!

Re: La Perla
I’ve seen pics of their items online but never worn or owned any. Just looking at the pictures, I don’t see why they’re any more special than VS. As far as lingerie goes, personally its not like I will have them on for too long anyway…lol…..so don’t see the point in splurging $$$ on it. I’d rather splurge on purses/shoes.

NYGent – Same as Anna, never had a the pleasure either… I did see items I liked on the site, but I’ve also seen similar items elsewhere that were not as expensive.

Maybe you should have taken her in, and gone into the dressing room with her to get a better idea 😉

IRLSDsays:

I know I will be lynched for this one, but the average SB (maybe not the blog ones) would benefit from giving up control over their finances and spending to the SD who can take care of everything, pay off their loans and/or tuition, and budget their lives appropriately. A big difference between SDs and SBs is that the former have good financial planning skills and live within their means, and the SBs would benefit from someone who can teach them how to live like that instead of just fueling their overspending habit.

NYGent ~ I’ve never had the pleasure of shopping at La Perla, but I have been on the web site. It would be hard for me to say without actually buying something and wearing it.

IRLSDsays:

SincereSD, I think most SBs I’ve met (I know some good exceptions) would squander everything within days or a few weeks, so it’s better not to pay them large lump sums because they’ll come back in 2 weeks saying that they’re out of money and expect the SD to give them more. Now, with the right person it’s fine and I have done it and not worried.

I also gave some thought to the SDs using pictures that are 30 years and/or 30 lbs less than they are IRL. All I can say is that I have met two SBs with pre-pregnancy pictures who have an entirely different physique now. I don’t want to date what someone used to look like, but rather what they look like now.

She was too embarassed to ask. However I noticed she was broke (again) several weeks later and after decided to top up the allowance on a regular schedule as opposed to lump sum.

That was an expensive lesson which I wouldn’t have minded so much if the money went to a productive use like paying down credit cards or other debts.

Mandy(SB)says:

Good Morning everyone!

Do I ever detest writing profiles. Mine was minimal, and I changed something very minor (drinking status) on it yesterday, an they denied it!! I had to write more in the description for them to approve it, annoying.

Done my rant!

NYCSB I like your blog a lot, it’s very honest!

AM: speaking of VS i was i in front of the La Perla store in NYC recently with someone who’d never seen it and her reaction was that it wasn’t all that different or better in quality than VS. What are others’ opinions on this weighty (or flimsy) topic?

Morning Sugar fam – working late today and then meeting SD to watch the national championship game (college football)

Student Sb – While my SD introduced me to the people of importance at my place of employment I went through numerous interviews before I got the job. He had very little to do with my hiring… he just told his buddies that they should take a look at my resume. In retrospect had I been actively seeking a position Im sure I would have gotten my current job on my own… My ex SD just pushed me in the right direction. He never expected anything in return nor did he make me feel like I “owed” him something.

I agree with you Cleo, I would have taken care of priorities first. I cannot understand blowing it on material things… Unless I was investing it into items for my business.

Of course, I would also do a little extra something for myself which would also in turn be for my SD…

cleosays:

SincereSD/Anna Molly: i could totally squander my three month allowance in five minutes… of course my credit card would owe me money for a change and my bills would be paid three months ahead but hey… it would be gone in five minutes nonetheless

course then i’d spend a wee bit of that positive balance on things like lingerie and mani/pedis for my sd…
.
photo: nice one on the credit card name – note to self

O.K. I have a question.

SB’s and SD’s, do you reply to emails that ask you questions that are already answered in your profile?
I’m sure this is already covered in one of the blogs somewhere and was probably even a blog topic. It just really bothers me when I get emails and they ask me questions that I’ve already addressed in my profile. It is a huge turn off. I just want to say, “well, read my profile and you’ll find the answer”…sigh.

Where did everyone run off to?

Have a good day at work Sincere

Hi PG!

photogirlsays:

G – Welcome. I agree with Sincere about SA. It is unfortunate though.
Some have tweaked their profiles to escentially eliminate being contacted by such ‘fakes’.

But the SD’s are also coming across the SB’s that are only interested in one thing and don’t fully understand what these relationships involve.

All I can say is pay attention to those little red flags(as sometimes they are not as obvious as the big red flags) and yes… google is your friend.

I once went to dinner with someone from another site. At the time I was very new to this. I only knew his first name… we met for dinner, actually had a great time and we were the last ones to leave the resturant. He ofcouse want to go have some adult fun afterwards to which I declined.
When he was paying for dinner I noticed his full name on the credit card. So I did a little google search when I got home.

I was stunned at his arrest record… money laundering… bad checks… business scams… the list went on.

Needless to say, I never saw him again and ignored his phone calls.

Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?
I’m really not sure to be honest. I think it would depend on the situation. Someone said in an earlier post that they wouldn’t be less likely to turn it down if there was a base allowance in place. A base allowance then a little something extra when we met would something I would consider.

What 3 things can you not go without in an arrangement?
The main three would be; honesty, trust and of course a satisfying physical relationship, then, sincerity in words and actions, warmth, gentleness, romance, and a great sense of humor. Is all of this too much to ask?

Wow…there would be no way I could do that! Not saying I wouldn’t spend some on myself.

Hmmmm, I haven’t gotten around to the questions….maybe I should work on that..LOL

SincereSDsays:

Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?

Never say never but find the whole allowance thing a bit disconcerting. It’s inconvenient and I dislike being reminded that I am in a relationship (somewhat) motivated by finances. That said SB relationship are what I’m looking for and I view the allowance as an expression of my affection.

As an aside, I once tried to avoid the handling of regular allowances by giving my SB 3 months in advance. What a mistake that was! She was like a kid in a candy store and squandered the money in 1 month 😡

What 3 things can you not go without in an arrangement?

I say this in jest but but sex is an important part of my SB relationships. My expectations for sexual chemistry are even higher than in conventional ones. And having been in neo-NSA ( no sex allowed) relationship both SB and marriage, I can honestly say it S U C K S ! (Nothing more to add here as the other SD have already said what I wanted to say).

Wow, sounds like I need another double expresso.

Sincere! How are you darlin’? My sister is just fine, thank you for asking

SincereSDsays:

Good morning AM. How’s your sister NA doing?

Anyone else experiencing these frustrations?

Welcome G. I recommend going back and reading several months of the previous blogs to research your question. Use search (CRTL-F) in your browser to scan each blog for keywords (travel. fake, traditional, etc.)

If you don’t want to travel, then say so in your profile.

I’m starting to wish the site could do a psyche evaluation on men to determine if they should be on Match or AFF instead of SA!

Strange as it may seem, SA doesn’t want to “alienate” the fakes, players or LTRs. Given there are likely more fakes than real SD, they also generate more revenue as a category. Plus SA can market the number of members they have.

There a plenty of blogs on how to qualify a SD or spot a fake. Google is your friend and so is your intuition.

@G: Well of course a large portion of the men on here need to be coaxed/pulled into the financial aspect…few want to part with their money and no matter how wealthy you are, free always rocks.

Gsays:

Hello all!

I’ve been reading for a long time and have always enjoyed reading about everyone’s experiences and perspectives.

My question for everyone is… Is it just my experience, or are the VAST majority of the men on this site (and others like it) not at all interested in fulfilling the financial aspect of a sugar relationship?

From my experience, 95% are really just looking for a normal dating experience or they are hoping to buy you dinner or a drink or two and hope to have sex? Most seem to be just interested in some free (or cheap) entertainment from a woman. These types annoy me way more than those few looking for escorts do!

If I wanted to meet endless men who just want free entertainment over drinks, all I have to do is step out my door each day.

I’m starting to wish the site could do a psyche evaluation on men to determine if they should be on Match or AFF instead of SA!

Another thing that I find perplexing is that I often get messages from men who are in other states (sometimes the other side of the country!) but who don’t ever come to my area and think I’ll just hop on a plane to come meet them because they sent me a message that said “Wow you’re eyes are amazing! You should come to ________.” I think they just message women for entertainment and aren’t serious.

Yes nite all

StudentSugar: I would find it hard to believe that even a jilted SD would try to call up a grad school admissions office and say you were his SB in an effort to get you turned down. And assuming he did it anonymously and without proof I doubt the school would take it seriously but would treat it for what it’s worth — a spiteful move by a jealous or jilted guy. I wouldn’t sweat it too much.

Your question on jobs is a little broad, I think there are different situations. There are real jobs and then there are sinecures. I would be wary of people who offer to pay you a lot to do essentially nothing, on the other hand if what you’re offered is up your alley career-wise and pays real money, at least consider it.

I’m looking to end it because it is getting too close for comfort. As in, helping me get into medical school. I don’t want to get to my interview and maybe they have said something.

cleosays:

student i don’t understand the question. why are they spiteful if they’re offering to help you?

LASB: Georgetown. Great school, great city to go to school in, downside is large class size and pretty cuthroat atmosphere (at least in my day, may have softened somewhat). One of the best clinical programs in the country along with NYU. Yes I do recommend.

Student Sugarsays:

Question:

My two SD’s keep offering to help me get into medical school. I keep declining because I know I have what it takes to get in and also I’m really freaked out about the sugar world following me into the real world. They know where I plan on applying. Would an SD say something to be spiteful? I’m afraid I got myself into a big problem

nygent it wasn’t that exactly. they weren’t busted for running the ring just i think for the enabling of it… can’t remember the details but they weren’t considered pimps

LASBsays:

NYGent – From what I understand, Craigslist doesn’t run the prostitution ring. They just turn a blind eye when they know that people are using it for that. Craig is pretty unmotivated these days, so it’s doubtful he wants to involve himself in a prostitute ring. BTW, I know this is not a “kosher” blog topic, but where did you go to law school and would you recommend it?

Marie Jacsays:

LASB- Alright true. You did get my there. Too bad I read that before bedtime. Good luck with your search!!

Good night all!!!!!

LASBsays:

Marie Jac – Actually, I don’t think any of this is safe. I’ve heard horrible stories. I think this goes for both the SDs and SBs – Proceed with caution and follow your gut, erring on the side of safety.

LASB: In an old blog I read someone warned about craigslist that is wasn’t so safe.

photogirl: i love the term “bromance”

TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz)says:

Yaz – are you around??

photogirlsays:

Mandy & LASB – No worries… I don’t think there is a don’t ask don’t tell policy. I just think that some that have started talking off blog and end up in a relationship tend to just keep it between themselves. I do recall however last year that there was a ‘couple’ who were open about it on the blog…. just depends on personal preference between the SD/SB I suppose.

James – SDN? lol I thought it was NYGent and NCGent that had the bormance going… I must have missed something.

Mandy(SB)says:

Thanks LASB
I don’t think it’s really a big deal. That’s what the blog and site are about!

Marie Jac: you know that Spitzer’s “SB” (loosely speaking) is now writing a love advice column for the New York Post. So there’s a second act for everyone in America, despite what F. Scott Fitzgerald said. Even Eliot will no doubt be making a “comeback” at some point.

Hey everyone,
Im starting to lose faith in aussie men iv had to contact me and they just won’t meet are there any SD’s who actually want to meet?

midwest: i think everything you said tonite is right on.

Yaz: you’re right, after a little initial showing off of fluency in “francais,” which is endearing, it’s best to keep subsequent blogs in english. My invite to the dinner crowd in NYC pretty much shot my wad in terms of french.

on chemistry/allowance/half allowance etc: I think it’s wrong for the SD to expect intimacy prior to (1) agreeing on an arrangement; and (2) paying all or a decent chunk of allowance, assuming there is also chemistry. At the same time I don’t think the SB should accept $ if she in her own mind questions whether it will ever go anywhere. I have been in a situation where we agreed on the arrangement and the allowance payments began but the SB wanted to withhold intimacy while she “made up her mind” how she really felt about the situation (and me). I think that was wrong, although I was equally at fault for tolerating it (and most on the blog said so.)

Mandy – I believe most would prefer to keep it discrete if a relationship does arise from the blog. So yes it has happened.

JSO - TXSDsays:

speaking of bloggers. did nc gent make it to where he was going

JSO - TXSDsays:

mandy – I am going to anserw this. Yes people have meet on the blog. NO it is not talked about. The blog is the Blog. There are groups on the Blog. Everyone gets along. Blog SD/SD relationships are not common. The thread is the thread. Then you have people that like to talk to each other everday(fake mariage, fake engement, etc…). it is like a disfunctional famil that gets along very well.
OK everyone beat me up

Mandy – We all have crushes on NYGent, NCGent, james.m, SDN, JSO, ATX, TexasSD and SincereSD – who wouldn’t?

My phone is ringing.

Peace and love! Goodnight!

Mandy(SB)says:

Yes, if any met on the blog

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Mandy – Are you asking if a blog sb has had an arrangement with a blog sd? I know a few who are in or had an arrangement where both were bloggers. I don’t know of any who met on the blog. I’ve only been on since October, so mhy experience is limited.

One more thought about the (wonderful) iPhone. when you click through to the blog comments, the header has a link to “leave a comment”. that takes you right to the end of the blog.

james.msays:

Naughty Molly: don’t listen to Anna Molly. Dancing is contact sport; football is a collision sport.

One thought about all of the fake,”poof” and simply rude SDs you’re running into. this is a numbers game. there are many SDs on the site, and they range from very good to very bad. One trait of a bad one is that he is very forward and outspoken. One trait of a good one is that he is more polite. therefore, the ones that contact you are more likely to be from the bad, rather than the good, end of the spectrum.
QED: you will meet more bad ones than good ones.
Corollary: you need to reach out to the ones you think might be good, who haven’t contacted you.

That’s my seriousness for the night. I’m going back to the fake champagne and the bachelor party!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Gemini: OK that is more who I always thought you were. I thought you were asking for half the allowance during the trail period and at the end you would let him know if you want to move forward. Now I understand. Thank you.

Gemini29says:

SDN says “But are you saying half the allowance and maybe you would be intimate? That you are trying to decide if you want to be with the SD?”

Oh no no no no that was not my intent. I wouldn’t be intimate with a SD unless I was sure he was the perfect SD for me and me for him. And that I think takes a “getting to know each other” period, instead of just jumping into it and “hoping” it works out.

Besides, when I get a SD, I want any allowance and/or gifts to be given out of genuine affection, interest and concern for my well being and for me, not because he thinks he needs to pay me in order to receive a special service.

Taz- I wish I could figure out a way to sugar-coat that, but unfortunately I tend to be too blunt. lol.

Marie Jac- Ugh! Next! He’s already started a trend and you don’t need to be treated with dishonesty and disrespect. Block! Delete! You have so much to offer to a great guy! Hang in there!

Marie Jacsays:

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

TXSB: Glad you and I are on the same page

Mandy: I have found they both have opportunities for improvement. I find my iPhone better for web based activities, like the blog, and my BB for email and text/chat. Mon français est terrible aussi. L’avez pas utilisé depuis le lycée.

Midwest:
Hi! Hope you’re feeling better!
———————————————————

SDN:
*thumbs up* on stragety. I agree with sex should happen naturally.
———————————————————–

Aussie, Mandy, and Cleo:
Hi!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Mandy: I have an iPhone and there isn’t a way built into the iPhone software, trust me I have looked and read every forum! There are some apps at the iTunes store you can buy but I haven’t tried any of them.

Marie Jacsays:

Oui! es tu de la France aussi?

aussie SB *423494*says:

Cash on arrangment-
Id be open to it atleast I can’t expect all aggrements to be the same ad swallowing that “paid for my time” feeling is part of an aggrement after all a little give a little take is what its all about.
3 things that are essential-
Hmmm id have to say:
Attraction: you have to be attracted somewhat otherwise its a poor arrangement.
Mystery: I understand you want to know im attractive and yes I am, but im not sending u pics of all my stuff. Why would u want to undress me or go out of ur way if you have seen it all before. “Less is more”
Being discrete: I understand the rules and play by them even if it means I fall madly in love with you im not going to ruin urs and ur wifes relationship, even if it means crying myself to sleep.
And so many more than 3 things are essential

If anybody knows how to scroll to quickly on a BB I would love to know.

Marie Jacsays:

TT,

HA! Escort seekers. I’ve met so many! I’m glad it isn’t my age.

I’m supposed to meet another POT, but I’m feeling a little disheartened. I’m going to ask for a picture before we meet. I’m not into wasting my time anymore. I need to study and meeting waste-of-time POTs is getting in the way.

mandy go to the main page of the blog and click on a recent comment rather than clicking on the comments from the post

Marie Jacsays:

Why don’t you to Find for “Leave a reply” because that is at the end of the blog.

TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz)says:

Marie Jac – don’t be fooled…fake SD’s, escort seekers, etc will try no matter what your age is…I think anyway. We have all been there…and so have the wonderful SD’s too…vice versa of course.

AM – yes ready for the trip. OMG – how I have pulled this off – no idea lol..everything that could have gone wrong – went wrong. Better be worth it lol…I am not meeting Cleo as our schedules are not meshing very well – she has been very kind and offered her couch, unfortunately I did not plan to stay the night and my dog will be dropped back off early in the morning. But I AM able to spend a few hours with my sister So, I suppose regardless – it will most defintely be worth it!

Mandy(SB)says:

There should be a “Bottom of Thread” button at top or something. “Go to Bottom”.

Mandy(SB)says:

Hi all!!

Off topic, but does anyone have a suggestion on how to scroll to the bottom of an iPhone page very quickly? I know how to do it to the top, but trying to get to thet bottom of this blog when I’m at work takes about 10 minutes of whipping my finger along the screen! Not cool!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Gemini: I would have no problem with a trail period so that we are both comfortable and I do not expect sex when I give you the allowance. But are you saying half the allowance and maybe you would be intimate? That you are trying to decide if you want to be with the SD?

For me I expect to pay the allowance and when it is normal and comfortable we are physical. Just like if you and I were in a traditional date.

I think it’s the fact that I’m so young that SD’s try to take advantage. Maybe I should lie about my age too….just kidding

Hi Midwest! How are you feeling?

Don’t worry about Naughty Molly…she promised she would behave

ESBsays:

Marie Jac: A good friend told me a while back that the worst thing you can do is tell someone off via email or text. It IS hard to confront someone who treated you bad, but you are denying yourself the pleasure of making HIM uncomfortable by doing it by phone or in person. It is much harder for the one who did the wrong to be confronted than for someone who is wronged to do so. It is empowering, and has a finality to it… but when I did it, I wasn’t mean at all. Just said “You did this… and it was wrong, and made me feel… and I didn’t appreciate it” It probably didn’t hurt his feelings much but made me feel so much better for getting it off my chest. So, good for you for NOT emailing him!!

i just read your post. I hope you’re right that there are some great SD’s out there. From the blog it seems like there are. I guess I wasn’t selective enough.

Midwest Mistress of the Darksays:

Evening all! Stil not done catching up, but have a bit for now!

NYGent – Aye, Aye, Aye!

IRL SD – Let me make sure I understood this properly: You didn’t tell Polish SB this agreement would involve sex…instead you would make her fall in love with you and your charms and she will naturally want and desire you. Then, you decide she’s not worth your time and effort when she is suddenly realizes your agreement does, in fact, include sex. Next time you might consider selling her fake CLs, at least then she would know what she was getting.. I don’t think a real SD worthy of respect would have played it that way.

To all the other sds – Please know that I respect you greatly and would never say something like this to you on the blog. Then again, you treat women with respect and honesty without the drama.

Welcome Bella. Trust your instincts and take your time. You will find that new sbs on the site tend to get bombarded with offers only to find they are not genuine. Read the past blogs to help weed out the fakes and ask if anything in particular doesn’t agree with your sense of logic. There are some great SDs here, but you do have to be selective.

UncommonSB – I thought you were on your way to a sugar relationship. Did that fall through?

Cleo-I am a lucky lady! It’s always an amazing experience!

NYC SB – Well said about the personal prostitute

IRL SD – TXSB spoke highly of her SD. She showed great maturity when the arrangement concluded. Too bad he doesn’t come on the blog anymore…they had funny stories to tell.

RedMaru – Welcome back!!! How are you?

ESB – Yeah and good luck! Keep the momentum!

Sally – Welcome! We are all happy to help.

AM – Of course you can dance with James. Tell Naughty Molly to watch her hands though.

I think too many men think that if they “pay” the allowance than they deserve immediate sexual gratification, and that isn’t the way this should be.

My love – you have found words for what I haven’t been able to. However, can you rephrase it a *tad* bit more sugary so that I can use it in my profile? Lmao…

ESBsays:

I agree with Gemini. Shouldn’t be that way. The SD shouldn’t treat you like a Pro. That has nothing to do with why I’m here. I’m hoping it’s a great side benifit with the sugar, but I don’t need to be treated like I’m less than what/who I am.

Gemini29says:

Marie Jac- Um ew, he will only give you part of the (changed) allowance if you meet him in a hotel room? I think that says everything right there on what he expects (and how he expects to treat you too). Go with your gut…if things feel wrong, then mostly likely they ARE wrong. And 30 years? My GOD.

This is why I’m wondering if its best to have a trial period with a SD/SB and get to know them first….half-allowance or whatever to sweeten the deal but not whole-hog until things are settled and heat up for real. I think too many men think that if they “pay” the allowance than they deserve immediate sexual gratification, and that isn’t the way this should be.

ESBsays:

Um.. why? Or the mom who is making herself look like her daughter? She actually looks younger than her daughter now. Baby Girl just looked at me and said “Don’t even think about it” Why would I? She looks just like ME!! IDK, people do wierd things all the time.

Cleo – OMG, yes joan. What the heck happened there? lol. oh well.

cleosays:

LASB i figure i can age like marg helgenburger/nicole kidman/joan rivers OR susan sarandon

no contest… forget the plastic

LASBsays:

IRLSD – I prefer older men anyhow. My ex was all into the Bev Hills procedures, and I told him it was ridiculous. If you do a bunch of crazy work, you will end up looking expressionless like cher or alien like tony danza or michael jackson. Just live clean and healthy, exercise and get a good night’s sleep.

Marie – Im sorry but thats a NEXT for me… why would you negotiate an allowance if he is just going to change it? (many SDs do this all the time) best cut your losses before you meet him in a hotel … just my thought

IRLSD: you are still young, don’t worry about it til you have to 😉

cleosays:

IRLSD when you are sixty i expect that a woman in her forties or up will suit you perfectly.

IRLSDsays:

All this talk of aged SDs makes me want to start getting Botox and Fraxel so I stay young-looking forever. I can’t imagine dating 19 year olds when I am 60. Can you imagine how jaded I will be by then?

ESBsays:

LASB: I met a guy from a different sight… his pix were pretty hot. When we met, he was like 30 lbs heavier. The pix were like 15 years old. I hardly recognized him! The first thing he said was “wow, you look just like your pix” I just looked at him. Said “you don’t” I just didnt’ know what else to say! Didn’t want to be mean, but it was just not the same person!! We had lunch and went our seperate ways. NO, that is deceitful, and not a good way to start any relationship.

that said, the lack of chemistry, bad shoes (sneakers), ill-fitting shirt and hrm… work i had to do to keep the conversation flowing? made me certain we would never speak again… and we didn’t.

but the age lie didn’t bother me.

IRLSDsays:

Amazon, you are right. It’s not really in me to just see someone that way, but maybe I need to master it for people who deserve to be treated that way. Funny thing is that people who deserve to be treated like a piece of a—don’t even mind being treated that way, so never mind.

Marie Jac, no point dealing with someone who is not straight forward. I can’t imagine you will ever get anything meaningful out of this relationship. My guess is, based on your description of him, he is expecting sex in the hotel room.

I met an SB three weeks ago for dinner and she told me I was the third SD she was meeting, the two before me both claimed to be in their 30s but were clearly in their 60s.

ESBsays:

Marie Jac: My best advice? Go with your gut. If it feels wrong, then let it go. I learned the hard way to trust my instincts. I felt something was wrong, believed the guy, and when I found out I was right, I was so angry with myself for letting him fool me. Not an SD, but my first BF when I left my X. Was heart breaking, but a good lesson. I now trust my self more than the puppy dog eyes, or $$ he may be offering. You are NOT a Pro, don’t act like one! Keep your pride in tact, and walk away.

I’ve had to use the block user button and it can feel so good

LASBsays:

Marie Jac – If it “Feels weird,” listen to your intuition!!!

Amazon – That was great advice to IRLSD!

ESBsays:

OH, BTW… would love to see Flo Rida come back. Hun, if you are lurking, please say HI!! I so miss you. Don’t let one person’s opinion keep you from adding your wit and charm and much appreciated advice and input. I for one miss you!!

LASBsays:

Marie Jac – Looks like the same thing that happened to me, happened to you, in that there was something small that we “let go” giving them the benefit of the doubt. For me it was the “slim” lie and for you it was age. I wonder how telling these little discrepancies are. Anyone care to share? Have you ever met someone who lied on their profile, didn’t address it verbally once you started a conversation, and then turned out to be a great SD or SB? MIdwest, I know your story about the age thing, but also that you came clean right away. I’m talking about these guys/women who think they have us fooled when they don’t.

You think if I meet tomorrow and receive my partial allowance I can like be able to just talk or must I you know, do the deed…is it worth it? I’m not a hooker, it feels weird to me

I would so run away with you NYGent 😉

ESBsays:

Gemini: Eastern Shore!! Love it here, but right now it is WAY to cold for me. Want to move to somewhere warm. “D: papers say I can’t move more than 25 miles until the kids graduate from HS. 3.5 year!! Ihope this it the last of this artic blast we are getting. My feet need to thaw!!

Marie Jac: OUCH!! Hun, the age thing should have clued you in. So sorry, hun. Keep looking, there is someone out there for you. I have to make a decision soon, got 3 I’ve been chatting with, all seem nice, but have yet to meet any of them. I have a feeling it’s going to be the first to offer me an actual meet, not a test drive!! One almost lost me there, but I think he was testing me, to see if I would take him up on it. Damn, with his looks, I’m sure he gets taken up on that all the time!

NY Gent – I’d marry CASB, but after I let her test drive me, she seems to have disappeared.

SDN – I love the block user button. I only started using it recently b/c I was getting repeats, but it is very effective.

IRLSD – Why would you want to change who you are? If someone mistakes your kindness for weakness then it’s their loss. Never let the negative actions of someone else make you into someone you don’t want to be. By the way if all you seek is “a piece of ass” I guarantee that is all that will ever show up for you and you lose.

Marie Jacsays:

Sugar Fam,

I’m sorry to complain but…I F_ING HATE SD! He thinks I’m a fool or something. Ok, I didn’t confront him about it when me first met, but he lied about his age, BY 30 YEARS! I let that slide. We had the allowance talk and had agreed upon a number and then today he pulls a different number like all of a sudden he wants to meet up more than what we said and I was like um “No….” and he said, “Well thats not what you said before” and I said “Well you didn’t say that before thats why”. And then I finally agreed for a lower allowance by 300 because it was the first month, but I said this was not acceptable after this month. What does he think I’m a fool or something? Tomorrow he is supposed to give me PART of my allowance, but I have to meet him in a hotel room. I want to scratch out his puny little eyes. I’m now asking myself “Why am I doing this” Maybe I need to start a new sugar search. That F-er!

Psh on calling you an “older woman”! Thats reserved for 80 year old grandmothers, and half the time I daren’t call them OLDER for fear of getting whacked by their canes!

ESBsays:

Generous lover, yes, that is a good way to put it. Generous and adventerous!! sigh Great combination, and so rare. I feel lucky that I’ve had 2. I hope to find another some day, one that can keep up with me. 😉

I think it may have to do with age. A “young” man told me he goes after older women because they have so much to teach him and they tend to last longer than the ones his age. Being called and “older women” lost him his date with me! He was 38!! ( the little $h!t!!) LOL

ESB that’s so funny! I just got some good business news too and it perked me up like no potential date ever could!

as for the great sex, the problem is once two generous lovers come together it’s very very hard to settle for a selfish one…

ESBsays:

Well, I just spent the last hour laughing mostly, catching up! WOW!!

Hello Sugar family!! What a crazy day. My pot canceled. I think I’m relieved. This was WAY to fast for me. I made a sale instead. YES!! I’m starting to love my life again!

IRLSD: All I can say is WOW!! I had a few BFs who would last that long, and OMG, just can’t handle the mediocre sex anymore. Hard to go back wards, ya know? I know what you mean, we had more than just great sex, we had a great relationship. We were more than lovers, we were actually friends. The one would always call me when there was a crisis in his life, and I could count on him for good advice when I needed it. To bad he was married…

Can I be a fake witness at the fake wedding? After watching “The Hangover” I’m going to have to ask my SB friends to help me when I’ve had enough to drink so I don’t come home ACTUALLY married!! OMG… I’d have to kill him, divorce takes way to long in MD!! 😉

Interesting list NYGent! So THIS is what ya’ll discussed at the NY meet 😉

Lol…Yaz I sooo knew you wanted me!!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Gemini: That isn’t un-nerving that is creepy. If you were interested I would be afraid 2 – 3 eamils a day would scare you off. Also if you told me “we are NOT a good match. ITS NOT GOING TO WORK.“, even my thick head would get it.

May I make a recommendation? “Block User”, move on. Some lucky guy is waiting for you!

Wait…I can’t marry my sister! Who wants to fake marry me?

TXSBsays:

NYGent:
LOL @ the explanation!
————————————————

SDN & CA Dreamin:
Congrats to the happy couple! 😉

IRLSDsays:

Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I texted the Polish SB and told her that she could still have the “job” I offered and just come to work twice a week for three hours in the afternoon and sit there and study for her GREs and get 5K/month. No reply.

Worst thing is that what I bought from her is defective and my wife wants me to go back and exchange it, lol. I think I better go to another mall and get another one, and heck, maybe another SB in the process.

Gemini29says:

TXSB – I have no idea who is getting (fake) married to whom … but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to be a (fake) guest and be invited to the (fake) wedding!! 😀

SDN – There was no other way to take my polite decline of his SD-ness than “we are NOT a good match. ITS NOT GOING TO WORK.” Actually I think those might have been my exact words… hmm. I’m frankly surprised he popped back up. I’m normally far more nice about it, but…its annoying. I haven’t even responded to him yet and he’s still sending 2-3 emails per day wanting to “win” me back. If this was someone I was interested in, I would find it flattering. But I think this “romance” is all in his head, as it has never been reciprocated in any form on my end. Which makes it slightly un-nerving.

IRLSDsays:

LASB, lol at the guy’s distinction between an escort and SB.

On a different note, one of my female employees told me yesterday and more emphatically today that my problem is that I respect SBs too much and treat them like human beings and that instead I need to focus on one thing–that “The SB is nothing more than a piece of ass” (to use her exact phrase) and to always remind myself that the SB is nothing more than that. Not sure I have it in me to do that, but it might be worth a try. Might get me somewhat less complicated relationships.

CD Dreamin: You get the shoes and Hummer but I am so using my SA year membership. Plus the SD/SB bachelor & bachelorette party may be the best Vegas has ever seen…and that is saying something!

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

Gemini: As a male I often have a hard time telling the difference between “no…unless you ask me again” and “no…not ever…please don’t ask again”. I am sure most men have that problem. Generally I would advice you to take persistence as flattery.

Now if I wanted you to give me a chance and have a date to win you over I wouldn’t offer you money or a gift…if you took it I wouldn’t want to have that date with you. No offense intended but based on your post you and I have similar ideas of sugar dating.

james.m: That is a perfect night…Les Artistes has great steaks! What about some gambling at Bill’s in there? I have some fake alimony to pay in the near future.

Gemini: You are so on the list guest list!

Gemini29says:

oooh I want to be on the guest list too! 😀

Gemini29says:

Taz- No joke. He upped it from $100 to a nice outfit. (….I wonder if he realizes that a “nice outfit” for me comes from Saks, not Macys. but I digress…) As if the bribe of a ‘nice outfit’ is enough to convince me to go on a date with a guy I’ve already written off as a “no”.

Some men just don’t get it. When I say “No”, please don’t take it as a challenge to “win” me over….it won’t work. It just pisses me off… because its not about “me” in reality, its about me as an object.

And I do believe that answers IRL SD’s “realistic” question… No amount of money in the WORLD could get me to sleep or date a guy I have no interest in. Sugar dating (to me) is like a standard relationship with bennies…. none of the nonsense of real life dating but all of the wonderful benefits that I always wish it it would have…its like the fun of the first 6 months of dating squished into a smaller amount of time.

TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz)says:

An iphone…yesss…or a curve 😛 is santa making second rounds this year?? For all the naughty SB’s and SD’s?

TT (AKA Tantalizing Taz)says:

LMAO Gemi!! A bribe?? Yuck.

Fake Wedding Party – Am I on the guest list? I know it is a little last minute but really I would love to help out with a great bachlorette party!! Need any help AM?? Ha she took off with NYGent – they are tying the knot at the chapel down the street (since we ARE in vegas no?)! Shhhh…it’s on the down low 😉

I am off to Toronto tomorrow! Yay! Very excited!! 6 am train though – uuughh!

I can’t live with out my crackberry, thinking of getting an Iphone though. Some of the apps are just too cool. Plus I get tired of my roller ball getting stuck.

james.msays:

We’re starting with drinks in the lobby bar at the Bellagio. Then across the strip to dinner at Les Artistes, the steak house in the Paris. Then, the burlesque show/night club at the Rio, and limos to the Crazy Horse. Anyone still standing at dawn can gather for breakfast at Mon Amie Gabi in the Paris. We’ll have you standing (without help) in the wedding chapel by the time Elvis gets there to officiate.

AM: they’re a blessing and a curse

Anna Molly *397377*says:

NYGent – Yep, I have a BB! I’m so happy

LASBsays:

Happy Lurker – Yeah, I vent it, but also laugh at it, and then just move on.

Cleo – NYC SB came up with this one. 3 minutes to climax, and 12 min of sustaining that, and I’m feeling pretty satisfied. If a guy is in tune with me and a good lover, he knows how this works. The 1.5 hours of grinding away would just makes me numb and then raw, as I’d imagine it would do to most. Now if there are other things thrown into the mix, I can see 1.5 hours works (or days, as I’ve mentioned previously.)

Here’s to the Bride and Groom! **waves glass and drinks fake champagne** HL – this is great champagne you ordered! Thanks. A couple more glasses, and my afternoon at work will start to look up.

Too bad Midwest is sick in bed and can’t enjoy this, too.

AM: i missed it, you got a blackberry?

LASB,
I am glad to see that you can laugh about the ridiculous situation in which you found yourself with pudgy-pudgy. When something irritates me I always joke about it and laugh, then I have shaken it off.
Anna Molly, in itself it is also ridiculous that we create a fake wedding on a website such as SA, which is not directed at matrimony at all.
I believe you are a romantic at heart and many other bloggers and lurkers here as well.
To be honest I am the also such a person and it makes me that
Happy Lurker

Happy Lurker – “close your eyes and think of england!!!” I love it! So that’s what this John was wanting me to do, to avoid being an escort.

LASBsays:

Uncommon – ok, now I am feeling that same disgruntled feeling that I told you to push through. (I think it was you, anyhow.) So this guy that I shared a few emails with starts IMing me and telling me how he sees the whole thing playing out. He wants these afternoon sex sessions and maybe to do lunch, but nothing else. I tell him that he is looking for an escort, and that I am looking for a relationship and someone who likes to do the same activities as me. He argues with me that no, I would not be an escort, b/c I would not be focused on the money while having sex with him, and and escort only wants the money. But since I am not all about the money, it would be ok and I should do it. Now that is some interesting logic! LOL He’s also one of those pudgy guys who says “slim” in his profile. I should have paid more attention to that red flag. So much for benefit of the doubt.

OK, thanks for “letting” me vent.

James,
Wedding presents for her after her fake mom had given her “the talk “???
It used to be “close your eyes and think of England”.
The modern version will be I suppose “close your eyes and think of Obama, mumbling Yes, we can “.
As to presents, CA is a kind of extrovert type, so she would look great in a yellow Hummer. As a real surprise it will be stacked with dozens of shoe boxes reading Jimmy Sjoe, Manolo, Gucci, Versace, Louboutin etc. and special insurance for her ankles when she struts in those heels.
The ultimate present for him is of course a year’s subscription to SA.
Now where is that glass of champagne.
A toast to the bride and groom !
HL

We need to know where the fake bride and groom have their fake registry so we can by them fake wedding gifts.

yanchisays:

man… this is living SB r for real.. be opptimistic… a great 2010 to all

Now on a brighter note in reaction to some great postings.
Six things I register within six seconds of meeting you:
Eyes (mirrors of the soul)
Smile (radiant)
Smell (pheromones)
Timbre of your voice (seductive)
Hands (wel manicured)
Voluptiousness (Melons)
This is “first impressions are always decisive”
The rest is secundary.
We have been put on this earth as part of the animal kingdom.
It is a section of the innate defense structure by which we immediately register “friend or foe”, but also “mate or hate”.
Then the tantra conversation drew my attention.
According to a survey the average couple does it in six minutes.
I love the expression by Henri VIII to one of his new brides to be:
“Madam I still know how to wield a lance gallantly”.
Just like to bring to her innumerable moments of pleasure, is in turn my pleasure, multiple org***ms, I mean. But the sustainability of the ladies is short, I am sad to add. And yes, one even confessed her chicka hurt
(thanks for handing me that expression by the way).
To her horror I replied, but darling this was just a warming up.
I am happy to say I really mean it. Men have so much more stamina when they are mature, let me assure you.
What better place than to be in the bedroom ?!
HL

Regarding presents. CA and I are willing to take real presents if it makes the blog happy

PS: CA Dreamin: sure you don’t want to elope before the rents take over?

NC Gentsays:

Hi all – I am at the airport waiting for my next flight….. I have had sex sessions last about 1.5 hours but there are some common elements…. lots of foreplay; it has been a long while since I last had sex, and I have had enough to drink so that my man-bits are not as quite as sensitive but still sensitive enough to perform — ok TMI I know.

Or the first young man who asked me for her hand in marriage, and I said “No!” SDN, has she told you about this previous relationship?

Hi James,
Yes, sometimes life is scarring for an innocent young man.
And what about the time the young man visited her home and the father
started to ask weird questions such as : “how many cows do you offer for her as a bride ? ” It turned out that the old man still bore the scars from his own youth when this happened to himself. Since then he took a kind of revenge on all the suiters of his daughter by posing that question.
HL

BH – thanks! I will keep it coming between posting on the SA blog and my job it might not be a daily thing but I will try

james.msays:

CA, I’m surprised you aren’t totally scarred by growing up with HL and me as fake parents.

james.msays:

Like the night of her first date, with a young man of whom you didn’t approve? When they arrived home, she invited them him inot the family room, only to discover you chose that evening to clean all the guns in the house, and the floor was strewn with shotguns, etc.? He beat a hasty retreat from the house, never to be heard from again.

Hi James,
Let take make the best thing of both worlds.
As the Best Man you hold a ribald speech about ocurences in her adult life.
As the Father of the Bride I will entertain all of you with things from a long past. For instance the first time a young man came to visit her and her parents. He was so nervous, that he clumsily overturned the glass of coke that was offered him (an incident from my own past).Or the first time she went to a school prom ball and wore that beautiful gown with an enormous cleavage (great DD) which made the young man nervous, as all the teachers gave him an envious wink. (have a guess, autobiographical ?)
Ah, you say to yourself when reading this : “yes …………..
HL

james.msays:

As I understand it, GFE involves the simulation of an emotional attachment between the john and the provider, rather than just the physical act of sex. If we are looking for SBs and SDs with whom we have “chemistry,” and a real emotional connection before entering into an arrangement, then there is no need for a simulated emotional connection.

Hey AnnaMolly 😀

Would you guys believe that its freezing down here in GA. Weather’s been in the teens and twenties. So GA’s getting a dose of WI winter weather

Hi NYC SB,
I confess I am a blog fan of yours.
It seems I am in a daring mood today !
Could we have an interview ?
Would like to apply for President of the NYCSB Fanclub.
That would elevate my status no end !
I believe this is called a win/win situation.
HL

HL – your posts always put a smile on my face 😀

sallysays:

im new at this and not too much reply,am i doing something wrong?

Ca Dreaming SB,
My I venture to be the Sugar Father of the Bride ?
Then I can give you away at the alter !
I believe you have set up everything now for the wedding day.
May you both live happily ever after in Sugar Land.
Would I be allowed to make a ribald speech at the wedding dinner ?
As is customary the father of the bride foots the bill.
Did I tell you I am a gift daddy ?!
HL

James.msays:

SDN – absolutely, I’ll be your best man. Of course, well have to go out a couple of days early for the bachelor’s party. Plus, I get to dance with Alluring Anna AND Naughty Molly at the fake reception!

ESB ~ WhooHoo! Good Luck!!

Yazsays:

ESB Good news!!!! Im happy for you! 2010 IS indeed going to be an exceptional year for many SBs and SDs!

ESBsays:

Hey everyone!! wow, great blog. Been reading for an hour!! Gotta get to my next apt. now.

When it rains, it pours. Must be SDs New Years Resolutions to find a SB fast. I can’t keep up. Meeting one today, he lives 45 minutes away!! Holy cow! After 3 emails and IM last night, he calls and says He’ll be out my way today… my head is spinning. Gotta narrow this down fast. Which one do I choose!!?? sigh… guess I meet them all in person then decide. OH, don’t worry, we’re meeting at a resturant where I am friends with the owners. VERY nice little place.

Have a great day/night everyone!! I’m going to be busy for a few days!! My carreer is picking up too!! Sales are coming in faster than I can write them!! I KNEW 2010 was gonig to be my year!!

Boston Honey ~ Clicking on her name should take you to her blog.

Boston Honeysays:

NYCSB How do I find your blog?

Boston Honeysays:

Panties? Who wears panties to bed? 😉 Silk all the way.

You all got me…. I am reading Tantric Sex for Women and bought the book for men too. Don’t want to miss anything…. and I want it to last all night long that is the essence of tantric anyway. It is about transcending the experience, delighting all of your senses and being in the moment. Thus, I want all of my senses and your senses tantalized, teased, and delighted, candles, scents, massage, foreplay, strawberries, nutella… Lets be mischievous and all-the-while elegant and kind to each other…. The lover I desire is a giver. We are both insatiable in our desires to please each other and relish taking care of his/her heart, body and soul. She paints vivid pictures with her words, teasing and delighting him with her womanly seduction…

Ok, I am getting ready to duck for cover. But if you have to brag about how great you are that is like the guy driving the Hummer. Nuf…said…. I like Men who age like fine wine and scotch…makes things much better…. 😉

CA Dreamin: You and I get fake married, or close to it, and everyone loves your comments. Mine not so much…I can see who is in charge in this relationship.

CA Dreamin SBsays:

NYC SB – LOVE your comment!!! Five stars!

If an SD views me as his personal prostitute would get a “NEXT” rather quickly… SDs are sharp enough to recognize when an Sb views them as a walking ATM maching… SBs are sharp enough to recognize when an SD views her as walking va jay jay

Good Morning and I absolutely concur with Dreamin. Guys that ONLY desire sex don’t have the same capacity to understand the difference, or the value a GREAT SB can bring to ones life IMHO.

IRLSDsays:

CA Dreamin SB, just read your answer to my friend and told him that what you said is true. I never felt with any SB that she only liked me for money, although I always knew that without the money they’d never stick around. I suppose if any of my SBs put on 100 lbs, I wouldn’t stick around either, so it’s all fair.

Cleo – I used to sleep in clothes but after i upgraded to super lux 1000 cotton thread bedding i refuse to sleep in anything but panties… the sheets feel too good

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

CA Dreamin: Thanks for taking that question. I agree 100%! From my end I wouldn’t have feelings for a personal prostitute, she would be providing a service and nothing more. Next. But with an SB I want someone I care about and that cares about me. She understands I my life and schedule, I understand her needs. We work it out.

IRLSD: Would a wife be a personal prostitute? Is she not because of the wedding license? Or only if she marries a man with little or less money than her? Can an “arrangement” really be prostitution? Sure but that is between those two, it doesn’t apply to all.

SDN – I’m in! Vegas baby! Who’s coming to the fake wedding? I need a fake maid of honor…SDN – do you have a fake best man? We do need fake witnesses you know!

CA Dreamin SBsays:

IRLSD – I’ll tackle this from my end…personal prostitute doesn’t care if she likes you at all, if there is any connection or have any genuine concern for your well being. She is 100% about the money.

If I’m attracted to the guy (I wouldn’t have an SD I wasn’t attracted to) I can’t imagine the sex being completely horrible. He may not be the best I’ve ever had, but, we’re still having a great time together. I enjoy his company and I look forward to his company beyond the sex.

SD NEOhio (SDN)says:

CA Dreamin: If I get all the fake sex I want lets do it! Vegas?

IRLSDsays:

TXSB, was your previous SD really so horrible or is he just so horrible now that things ended? There was nothing but your praise of him when you were with him and nothing but vitriol since things ended. Just curious.

CA Dreamin: Ohhh…honey no problem. We can postpone, but we can be intimate before the wedding, right?

AM: Her nuptials are not fake and they are spectacular!

IRLSDsays:

I was sharing the blog comments with one of my friends at work right now and his question is, “Does the SD actually have to sexually satisfy the SB if she in essence would not be with him were it not for money?” And this question arises from his other question, “What is the difference between an SB and a personal prostitute?” I know, I better brace for cover.

while i agree with that statement i feel obliged to comment that even fine wine can have a drink by date. ;>

silly fingers.

cleosays:

james.m while that statement is true i feel obliged to agree that even fine wine can have a drink by date

TXSBsays:

Good Morning Everyone!

NYC SB:
I agree that if a man knows what he’s doing, then both people can be happy even after 15 minutes. But if you’re with a BF or SD who only cares about his own pleasure and doesn’t know anything about foreplay, then even *IF* he managed to make it 1 hour, it would still mean nothing.

James.m – 15 minutes of actually doing it… we can foreplay for an hour prior to it … i hope when someone says they can last an hour that means actual intercourse otherwise it doesnt count

cleosays:

SDN i know a guy who is marrying a lady who refused to let him dump her (twice that i know of) and the second time her argument was exactly that “you have it so good with me why the hell would you go somewhere else etc”

Cleo ~ I wear clothes at home, but I can’t stand to sleep in my underwear…drives me nuts! That’s right, I said it….I don’t wear anything but a t-shirt to bed. Of course, if I was with my special guy I would wear something sexier than a t-shirt. 😉

JSO-TXSD: If that is the case…here let me load that for you.

AM: She says you guys are lying to me because you are jealous of how good I have it with her…got to go get her laundry done.

james.msays:

NYC SB – 3 minutes? Were you one of those who just ripped the wrapping off the packages on christmas morning to get to the present? Don’t you savor the nose of a good wine, and let it play in your mouth before swallowing it? Why not take 15 minutes to get there, and spend another 15 “riding the wave of pleasure?”

An hour to an hour and a half is good, but that would include foreplay and all that good stuff too and not just the actual act.

JSO – im sure some willing lady will be kind enough to train you lol 😀

James.M – if he knows my buttons then i can get there in about 3 minutes and then ride the wave of pleasure for the next 12 minutes… and i usually take my clothes off when i enter my appartment (thought this was what everyone did)

JSO-TXSD: You are a head of me…I am still trying to convince my SB that sex is part of the SD/SB relationship. She laughs and just buys more shoes when I bring it up.

cleosays:

james.m midwest is a lucky lady.
.
JSO you can think of yourself as a loser if you want but you should notice how many of the blog ladies do NOT want a man who lasts over an hour. that a few do just means TLG is right that we all want different things (WAWDT – tm)

that said, if you must shoot yourself, do it outside so no one has to clean up after you. [kidding come on…]

Boy I feel like a loser today. After reading blog this morning I suck as a lover also.******walks off to find that damn gun again to shoot myself with*******

Cleo ~ I have all kinds of secrets 😉

james.msays:

IMHO – if sex lasts 15 minutes, the guy is probably paying to much attention to himself and not enough to his woman. He also needs to learn a few additional skills. Hell, it takes more than 15 minutes to take a woman’s clothes off right!

IRLSDsays:

In all honesty, I am a bit tired of attractive women expecting everything in life to be handed to them on a silver platter. They need to work for it just like everyone else. I think the other SDs have similar experiences to mine in this regards. I am not opposed to an SB getting something in return for a discrete relationship, but believe me, my SB will have to work hard to keep the relationship going.

cleosays:

anna molly i do like how you think

IRLSDsays:

NYC SB, Polish girl didn’t reduce her hours yet. I told her not to until we saw how things panned out and she was offended by my saying that and moved on. I never withdrew my offer. Anyways, she knew from the first moment there was no real job here and when we first met she said that quite explicitly. She was just thinking someone would shower her money for her platonic company. I guess what I gave her was more valuable than a wad of cash–a lesson in ife: nothing comes free and you have to work for what you want.

If you want your man to last you have to know when to take a short break. Who wants to rush through it? Not me…LOL.

On the other hand…I can satisfy and make my man very happy and neither one of us would have to take our clothes off 😉

cleosays:

nyc sb i really agree with your last comment to irlsd btw. i wish his initial approach hadn’t involved a job… if he had said ’email me if you would like to discuss an opportunity i may be able to offer you’ or the like it would have seemed more honest than offering her a job.

a piece of me almost wants to suggest he actually cough up that first payment she was probably counting on. but i’m pretty sure the blog might lambaste me for that one.

cleosays:

IRLSD: (sorry blog but i am a sex educator) it’s two factors combined. chemistry and willingness. i had the most amazing lover once, we’d go for hours… collapse in an exhausted heap on the bed and then somehow be on each other again. just couldn’t resist each other.

some nights we had a 5 minute quickie.

some nights we had a rip your clothes off and be having sex before you hit the bed five minute quickie.

some nights we had five rounds and one of us ended up broken… i called it “going insatiable”

once you learn your own personal triggers for ‘going insatiable’ (mine are starting slowly, starting with things other than a clit, delaying first orgasm for a while, getting really really really aroused before actual penetrative sex and high end teasing) you can sort of do it ‘at will’ but you still have to both be in the mood.

anyway, i’d rather you went three times in two hours than lasted for an hour and a half, but either one works.

IRL SD – Im sorry if it feels like I am attacking you but you were well aware of the cost and the risks before you offered it to her… I just wish you thought hard and long before promising her the world rather than offering and then taking it back… thats all

The Six Things Guys Notice Six Seconds After You Meet

I agree with james.m but I do notice shoes, are they are an enhancement or do they look like they should be near a brass pole.

IRLSD – she is history? What happened you just wanted to support her so she loves you and if she never did that was a chance you were going to take. I just wish you didn’t get her hopes up so much. She even scaled down her hours at the mall… that’s just not nice at all. I understand your risk reward argument but you knew the risks you would take before she denied sex … which were probably worth to you at the time hoping that at some point she will give in.

Also your friends at work know about your escapades? Is that wise on your end… it might just come back and bite you on your AMEX

TXSB – hour to a hour and a half sessions are not realistic for me either… heck broke bf had a record last night of less than a minute (more like 15 seconds) … yeah I am that good! Lol In all honesty I need good 15 minutes and if he knows that he is doing we can both be super happy after (again couple of repeats that day night are welcomed) … last if a man lasts an hour and its not tantra related it just simply means the woman is not that good 😉 (no offense Gail… I’m sure you allowed him to last that long)

LASB – thanks! I posted yesterday an educational piece on profiles… each Monday will be SB tips… im still working on the format of it

IRLSDsays:

I think the problem is that once you’ve had great sex, then mediocre sex really stands out as being mediocre and it’s hard to get too excited about it IMO. In my earlier experiences, sex was sex and I never gave much thought as to whether it was mediocre or amazing, but once I saw with my IRL SB how tantric amazing sex was, it has kind of tarnished all subsequent sex, as nothing seems to measure up. Is it me, is it the girls, or is it the chemistry that make it not the same–not sure, likely the overall chemistry I suppose.

IRLSDsays:

TXSB, think of it this way, if one of your BFs or SDs wanted to and could easily go 1.5 hrs but you could only last 15 minutes, then realistically it won’t last much more than 15 minutes. Plus, did you ever read those tantra books you said on the blog your previous SD wanted you to read over the weekend so, as you put it, you could “show SD what I learned on Monday” (see blog post on October 30)? You can’t complain that he had no interest if he gave you a “homework” assignment to read tantra books.

IRLSDsays:

LASB, the hesitation of an SB is often due to harboring fantasies of some knight in shining armor coming on a white horse. This is particularly true of newbie SBs who have not been on the site long enough to have their fantasies tempered by reality. I don’t mind an SB looking around because I think it is statistically unlikely that during the short time my relationships last they will find a better overall package/offer than what I offer and if they really do find a better package/offer, I’d hope they’d take it.

And all of this goes out the window when she opens her mouth. Her brain, interests, articulateness and sense of humor trump all (well, almost all).

Same for me, only replace the she/her with a he/his

AM: not necessarily the most important but it’s the “first thing” I notice. And I agree with James, shoes are overrated and overly obsessed on by women (but then, they’re probably underrated and not obsessed enough by guys).

Where is everybody?

*taking notes*…Encore Suites, Las Vegas…..got it. Thanks Gail

Gailsays:

lol…it was at the Encore Suites…I really think it may have been kinda like a massage table…but it wasn’t in the massage room in our suite…and the massage table was already in there. I was sleeping when Yaz used it last. lol…….okay…really going now. ( jk)

Hi Gail

A bed with harness straps?? My God! I need my man to take me to Vegas for CES!! Wherefore art thou?

Gailsays:

Good Morning All~
Anna Molly…next time we do Vegas…please come…you so remind me of Sweet European : ) There will be plenty of gadgets in the room. Last time there was a bed with harness straps in our suite…lol….

Hmmm….Chatter…that is what ladies do. Fellas do the same….really re-read the blog. Its like a normal conversation…sometimes you have to put in the filler. I don’t mind it, and it adds to everyones personality.

Pay per meet? I had one this summer experience…it was incredible and so was he! He was just cycling through my city and from another site.

Men that are energizer bunnies : ) I do believe and have experienced men that are able! So yes more than 1.5 hours…all night…yes…yes…yes!

Good Morining Everyone

It took forever to go to sleep last night…sheesh.

MoonPatrol ~ Is your profile up yet?

LASBsays:

Bella – I’ve been on this blog for a while, and I STILL haven’t gotten through every old blog because there is quite a bit of chatter. (Not a criticism, just an observation.) What I did instead is a google search for other blogs where other SBs and SDs share their personal experiences. It was a faster, easier version of a crash course, in my opinion.

NYCSB has a really nice blog, btw. It is more inspirational than educational, as it’s pretty new right now, but a great read nonetheless.

Hey 2Chic!
LOL….what can I say…..keeping up with the spirit of sharing, I thought I’d share my first hand experience in this topic.

2Chicsays:

HI TXsb…. ROFL! Girl you are funny!

TXSBsays:

NYGent:
I don’t see any a SB has to “think about” a generous offer. With my previous arrangement, I gave him my answer the same evening (as soon as I received the e-mail). And with other pot SDs now, I immediately say “no” to something that I’m not happy with. I can see why a SD wouldn’t want to feel like he was “2nd choice”.
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Are you open to “pay per meet” arrangements? Why or why not?

In general no. But then again, as another blogger pointed out (IIRC NYC SB), if I had a SD who I met 2x/month…and if he pays my allowance 2x/month….well than that kind of ends up being “pay per meet”. If it a local who I saw at least 1x/wk, then I prefer a allowance. But if I had a long distance SD who I saw 1 or 2x/month and if he said he wanted to pay “allowance” in installments of 2…then I’m ok with that (even though that is “pay per meet” in a way). Hope that made sense!

TXSBsays:

Hi to anyone who’s on right now! Finally got caught up on the blog.

Re: Men who go on for 1 to 1.5 hours
LOL…not in my experience! Now I’m not a whore who has slept with tons of men…but the limited number of men I’ve been with, none of them (BFs or SD) lasted anywhere close to an hour! Now I acknowledge the fact that other women may have different experiences with the men they’ve been with. But a man lasting more than an hour….hahahaha………in my personal experience so far, that has not happened *IRL* and it’s definately not *realistic*.

None of my ex-BF or ex-SD showed any interest in tantra…so can’t say anything about that.

NYGent – Sorry, wasn’t ignoring you. I’m still not sure about Chicago, but if I don’t go maybe we can keep each other company on the 12th and talk about how much fun every one is having without us…LOL

Who in their right mind would complain about their man going for an hour and a half. Geesh!

ICANT SLEEP! UGH!

Kiki (426179)says:

I know that IRLSD went to bed already, but if he checks up on this thread tomorrow, I agree with your co-workers. Maybe a super-long romp once in a while, but to be doing that often can be kind of exhausting (and may make your chica sore). Anyways, way past my bedtime — night all

LASBsays:

NYGent – A better offer?!!! Seriously?!!! Any SB who thinks they will get a better offer from someone other than you is totally delusional! Are you sure that’s why they hesitate. Maybe they have weird drama or a crazy work schedule. I’ve seen what you’ve got. I find it hard to believe that that is the reason. When I hesitate, it’s usually because of some red flag either in the email they send me, or in their profile.

Boston Honey *413431*says:

I meant NYGENT…lol…

Boston Honey *413431*says:

Yes, it isn’t my name. I think Cleo or Uncommon or someone on here told me her girlfriend they call her Glamazon because of her long legs and problems finding jeans to fit…. Which I must say I am guessing that you and I both have the same problem. I was told to flaunt these suckers from RedHead…LOL. Lately I have been walking around saying I am a Glamazon gal….LOL…. Go for it Girlfriend!!

We can talk offline… as we don’t want to bore NCGENT and all the other SD’s, and lurkers… He hee.

So my answer for “payment” for each meeting is a no. There are escort sites for that.

Three things- intelligence, humor and the ability to laugh at oneself (very sexy) and of course, chemistry!

Boston Honey *413431*says:

IRLSD – Everyone at work knows what you are doing? You should write a book or have a reality show…LOL. Just joking. I bet you are really fun in real life because you do write a lot and I am guessing quite the talker…

Sweet Dreams Everyone…. DLTBBB

IRLSDsays:

OK, going to bed. Catch up with you guys tomorrow.

Boston Honey *413431*says:

Anna – Sure we can be CL’s together…. I wanted a horse but we had geese, chickens, pigs, and ducks, dogs, and cats instead….

In regards to someone asking about other sites. I didn’t join but did post a profile and had a huge amount of mail in a few days and this site requires everyone to have pictures. Yet, I agree with one of the other SB’s that I think a lot of people want a relationship and are not as clear and specific as SA dating.

I don’t understand why some SD’s cut and paste their eharmony profile and then do a total bait and switch. I wish that people would just get to the point and post what they want and are seeking.

Glamazon Goddess – Love the profile. You are tall! I agree, some people aren’t reading the entire profile and it would help if they do. My favorite classy SD is back from his trip and we are meeting again on Thur…..

Good night

Yazsays:

Time for me to go to bed

Good night gang!

IRLSDsays:

What’s wrong Yaz?

IRLSDsays:

She had to move back home and start her professional life, so we no longer saw each other except on a couple of trips, and then she found a lame BF (please, don’t get me started on how lame he is) and felt guilty seeing me any more.