Severe Loss Of Old Growth Greens As Citizenship Based Clear-felling Continues

The Australian Greens are today surveying the damage done to the party room following the citizenship-based clear-felling that has occurred to their old-growth Senators.

The loss of Senators Ludlam and Waters is seen as significant and has caused structural damage to the party. As they supported the canopy that held up leader Richard Di Natale.

A Greens party official spoke to The (un)Australian about the party’s woes, saying: “The loss of Ludlam and Waters is devastating to the party as both were located near the centre of the party room and provided a decent windbreak for Richard Di Natale.

“They sheltered him from the winds of change that kept blowing in from the left.

“Now that they’re gone Richard is quite vulnerable not only from the winds coming from the left but also could be damaged should some of the dead wood fall in his direction. The Lee Rhiannon is leaning precariously to the left and is in danger of falling.”

Greens leader Richard Di Natale was unavailable for comment as he was dealing with the parties struggles with a six-hour-long float tank session, after which he will embark on a week-long meditation session.