All those Antique Roadshowmarathons seem to have poured some glitter gas back into Robert Pattinson's PR sparkle tank and gotten him through two major New York appearances. First, Rob visited Jon Stewart, who played a spirited round of Very Concerned Camp Counselor on the Daily Show. ("What are we doing here? Are you all right? Is everything OK? I'm worried about you, and you're all right.")

Stewart provided heartbreak remedy-flavored ice cream and enough verbose, Bubbe-like fretting to save Der Patzen from having to confirm or deny the disintegration of his relationship:

The last time I had a bad breakup, Ben and Jerry got me through some of the tougher times. So I thought you and I could bond over this and talk about, ‘Boy you are better off. Kick her to the curb, whatever...' When you are young and you break up, it's powerful and it feels like the world is ending. This is the first time I have seen the world actually react that way. It's insanity.

The most Pattinson really said about it was the following: "I just don't even know how to approach this now." But he was kinda talking about the melting ice cream.

That evening, Patz showed up at the MoMA premiere of Cosmopolis-his first red carpet appearance since the spectacular explosion of Robsten—in a very nice Gucci suit and seemingly high spirits. When asked about the adult content of the film, Pattinson responded that he knew it "would be different, but I didn't have anything to be scared of except failing."

Director David Cronenberg said that the star's blow-up with Kristen Stewart "doesn't touch me, and it doesn't touch the film."

Alanis Morissette opened up to British magazine You about the "harrowing" birth of her son Ever in 2010 and subsequent depression. It was a natural home birth that took over 25 hours long.

The degree and intensity of my post-natal depression shocked me. I am predisposed to depression, but what surprised me this time was the physical pain. I hadn't realized the depths to which you can ache – limbs, back, torso, head, everything hurt – and it went on for 15 months. I felt as if I was covered in tar and everything took 50 times more effort than normal. I wished I could have cried but there was no relief during that time; my version of depression is almost below crying where there is just despondency.

After various methods of therapy, Morissette had fully recovered by April of that year and has since bonded with her son.

The details of Taylor Swift's newest album are out! It will be a 16-track cryfest called Red (BECAUSE FEELINGS ARE NEVER BEIGE, Swift clarified in an interview), and inspired by "the kind of tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semi-toxic relationships that I've experienced in the last two years." It drops October 22nd, but the first single, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," is available now. [HuffPo]

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However, it seems that our girl is experiencing a sea change with Conor Kennedy, as she has just purchased a ($4.9 million, AHHH) Cape Cod house right near the Kennedy estate. The New York Daily News has a diagram of the precise Swift/Kennedy coordinates, if you wanted that. [NYDN]

And now, your requisite Catching Fire casting jawn: Maria Howell, who has appeared in The Blind Side, among other things, has been cast as Seeder, a former District 11 tribute victor. In the novel, the character "must be around sixty." Haha, OKAY. Amazing singer, incidentally. [THR]

Miley Cyrus is still being accused of pulling a Britney Spears with her severe haircut, but remains the honey badger, gives 0 fucks: "my dad @billyraycyrus used to tell me "opinions are are like ass holes every body has one" LOVE my hair ❤ feel so happy, pretty, and free" [Twitter]

Bam Margera got arrested in a North Carolina airport for being shitfaced and aggressive. [TMZ]

Katy Perry actually went out with John Mayer 24 hours before she met and fell in love with Russell Brand. O, what a tangled web Katy Perry weaves with her whipped cream boob spray. [Monsters and Critics]

Oh also, if you have not seen this yet, Perry's bikini bottom was recently yanked down by Neptune, fun-loving Roman god of the sea. [Oh No They Didn't]

Jean Claude Van Damme did it with Kylie Minogue a few times back in 1994, but he puts it much better: "Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she's so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn't acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She's a great lady." Let's all just take a second. [Daily Mail]

Zach Galifianakis got married over the weekend, hopefully without any Hangover-esque pregame incidents. [Us Weekly]

Kenny G., America's #2 Professional Penetration-Inducing Saxophonist (the first is obviously Bill Clinton) is divorcing his wife after 20 years of marriage. [LA Times]

Vanessa Paradis is looking for a rebound who's "creative," with "burning eyes" and a "pretty mouth." [Us Magazine]

Also, ALSO, she might be hooking up with her hairdresser, but I bet not. [Celebrity Gossip]

Creed frontman Scott Stapp is releasing a tell-all memoir called Sinner's Creed, which means the tell-all memoirs of Counting Crows' Adam Duritz (I Dated The Most Beautiful Women Of 2001 But Myself Resemble An Unwashed Beetroot) and Nickleback's Chad Kroeger (What The Hell Is That On Joey's Head?) are imminent. [Billboard]

Seth Green is "waiting on [his wife] hand and foot" since she injured both of her legs. [E!]