Guys. Halloween is next week. NEXT. WEEK. Do you have your kid’s costume(s) yet? If you don’t–and you don’t want to pick through the piddly few that are left at Target or Walmart, I got you! I’ve looked all over the interwebs to find simple, quick DIY costumes you can make in a pinch!

Weatherman/woman

This one is SUPER easy. Just dress your kiddo up in their Sunday best, tape some paper to them, spike their hair, and find a broken umbrella (we all have one). Bam!–instant weatherperson.

Clark Kent/Superman

Again, this one is super easy! Most little boys have a super hero shirt of some sort; just put a button-up shirt over it and you’ve got yourself a pint-size superhero!

Painter

Not only is this one clever, but its crazy-simple! A small piece of posterboard and a paint brush! That’s all you need!

Basket of Laundry

I mean, might as well dress the kids up as laundry seeing as how we all pretty much live in a perpetual state of washing/drying/folding!

Birthday Present

We all have spare bags laying around somewhere in our homes. Cut a hole in the bottom and this funny costume is DONE!

Do you have an idea for a super simple costume? Share in the comments below!

As moms, we sacrifice a lot. We go without so our children can have and sometimes its hard to see the things we gain because we’re so focused on what we’ve lost. I saw a video the other day that really hit home and helped me examine my heart and priorities. Take a watch, Mommas, and remember that you’ve gained SO. VERY. MUCH.

Its October, y’all! I freaking LOVE fall. I love the cooler temps, the festive food, college football, and the fact that I can wear a hoodie without a bra and no one would know!

But, along with fall comes something I detest.

Halloween.

Okay, before you freak out, let me explain. I absolutely LOVE dressing up and the glorious candy-splosion that happens on October 31st. What I can’t stand are Halloween decorations.

But Jessica! That’s part of the fun.

Not if you’re a parent its not.

Why? Because going to the store to pick up milk or toilet paper, or cereal isn’t an easy(ish) task anymore when its fall and you have kids. The geniuses at Walmart and Target and pretty much every other store think it is a smart move to put crap like this throughout their stores:

And what happens when a child and toddler sees these hideous balloons that are not only terrifying but also make a loud noise due to the fan that keeps them inflated?

Then, instead of going about our merry way and getting what we came for, I have to spend the next twenty minutes calming down two frantic kids who are acting like they are undergoing an exorcism.

Why don’t you just go a different route to get the things you need?

I do.

But again, the folks who have set up these things so intelligently placed them IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING STORE.

I was wasting time on Facebook the other day and saw this meme which made me laugh because I could totally relate:

But then I started thinking: I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want to constantly be saying “Yes” to everything and wearing myself out. Over the past few years–probably since around the time that Huff the Babe was born–I’ve been trying to not take on so much stuff and I’ve been working on saying “no” more often. Thought, I sometimes still overwhelm myself, but I feel like I’ve gotten better at declining than I used to be. I’ve noticed this typically seems to happen to women–we actually become addicted to being busy/taking on enormous amounts of responsibility. (I’m not talking about stuff that needs to be done, e.g. laundry, dishes, caring for our young. I’m talking about the extras.)

My schedule is jam-packed; now I don’t have to think about how my marriage is falling apart.

Go here, go there, and do this. No time to think about my feelings of unworthiness.

But keeping ourselves busy and not getting down to the root of why we’re keeping ourselves busy is just perpetuating the problem. We are making ourselves sick with the constant hustle and bustle of getting to places we “need” to be… but did you ever stop to think about where you want to be? Do you want to be driving to and from extracurricular activities every single evening? And I’m not knocking extracurriculars; I think they’re a great way for kids to learn perseverance, teamwork, and cooperation. But if you’re spending 99.99% of your time in the car, scarfing down your dinner in between pick-ups and drop-offs, with no time to invest in the relationships around you, maybe take a beat and take stock.

Do you see your kids less and less because of the continuous full calendar?

Are you not sleeping well?

If this is you (I’ve been there) try to start saying “no”. I know,: its easier said than done. But, sometimes, the best thing a mom can do for her family, her marriage, and her own sanity is to say “no”.

Again, I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, per se. What I’m saying is, if you are constantly running and never feel like you’re getting ahead; if you cart the kids to and from all weekend and lay in bed on Sunday night, thinking about how you barely saw your children; if you feel like you and your husband are “two ships passing in the night”, think about areas in your life that you can say “no”. By taking on a lot, we’re also missing out on a lot.

To quote author Mary Katherine, contributor on Scary Mommy: “…most of us can probably let go of a few things go without the world falling down around us. We will be doing ourselves, and our families, a huge favor too. Because important things are happening in quiet moments, mamas. And you deserve to experience them.”

Right now, we’re in a lovely phase of parenting Huff the Babe. Wait, I mean we’re in a loathsome phase of parenting: the two year old stage.

Its less than pleasant.

And its not just because its the “terrible twos”, so much. Its because, this time around, its “the-terrible-BOY-twos”.

But Jessica, you say, surely its the same as it was with Huff the Tot.

To which I reply:

The Boy Twos are infinitely different than The Girl Twos.

With The Girl Twos, there’s a lot of crying. Emotions are constantly on high and frustrations are endless. When you’ve got a girl going through the two year old phase, she wants to choose her own clothes, she wants to dance constantly, and she cries at the drop of the hat.

That, I totally get. After all, I’m a woman. I get that estrogen is basically like an amphetamine that can make you crazy and cry about weird stuff like I did when Cassini made its grand finale.

The Boy Twos however are nothing but running, screaming, throwing, hitting, flailing on the floor, and destruction.

The Boys Twos are all about fighting anything and everything.

Mommy wants to change your diaper? DO NOT LET HER. Its clearly a trap to suck out your soul. Run, hide, twist and turn as she uses baby wipes on you. Whatever you do, RESIST!

You need to put your shoes on? Shoes? You mean death shackles?! Hurry, throw them under the dryer so your parents have to waste thirty minutes moving everything out of the laundry room to grab one flip flop.

The chocolate milk you demanded was served in a blue cup instead of a green one?! INSUBORDINATION! Throw the cup on the ground so it cracks and spills chocolate milk everywhere!

The Boy Twos leave you physically exhausted. They make every muscle in your body sore because you’ve spent the day wrestling with something the size of a puppy that has the strength of a silver-back gorilla. The Boy Twos leave you counting down the hours until bedtime. Not bath time, mind you, because THAT is a whole other beast of its own in which you will be soaked as well as tired.

But…The Boy Twos are also unexpected cuddles. They are “I wuv eww”s as you hand over their favorite truck while tucking them in at night. The Boy Twos are “I want Momma”s and holding sweet, dirt-covered hands. The Boy Twos are cars and trains and dinosaurs. The Boy Twos are hard. But The Boy Twos are also precious.