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Relief

A week later and a completed course of
antibiotics I’m disappointed to say I still have a significant amount of pain
on in my jaw. While there has been little improvement with the pain I have been
experiencing it is with great relief that I can say my surgeon feels the pain
is related to the nerves beginning to work again in my lower lip, he also did
mention that the inside of my mouth was looking better than last week so any
slight infection that may have been there has cleared up! Thank Goodness because
those antibiotics had taken their toll on me, at least it wasn’t for nothing.

Last week I wrote about the frustration of
having another set back in my recovery, this week I don’t see it so much as a
set back. The nerves beginning to work again, despite the pain associated with
it can only be a good thing! It was a long week, filled with ups and downs,
tears and smiles and I think it could have been one of the hardest weeks since
surgery, so much so I found my self-reaching out for an extra bit of support!

I had reached a point last week where I
found myself fighting off thoughts of self-harm, jumping to conclusions about
how the surgeon felt towards me as a patient, stressing about the pain and
worrying that it may in fact be caused by my mental health. It was a tough
week, one which had many days spent in bed, feeling sorry for myself and struggling
to get on with my life but it was also a week which saw me make a significant
and positive move to ensure I looked after my mental health. I reached out for
support and it was the best thing I could have done. While it had no impact on
how I was feeling physically, the pain I was experiencing, it did help with my
mood.

I sent a text to one of the therapists who
I had previously worked with during DBT, which then led to a phone call,
leading then to a conversation I needed to have! Let me also just say that I
don’t just contact therapists at random! We made an arrangement before my
surgery that if I was in need, during the time after my surgery I could reach out
to him. It was this agreement, which also reassured the surgeons and orthodontists
that I would have a support system in place after surgery, especially with my
history of self-harm. So I reached out to him and it did me a world of good.
Sometimes I forget how important talking can be, just telling someone else,
someone who is not family or friends, someone in a neutral position what is
going on, worrying or upsetting you can really help and that it did!

Being reassured that it is ok to worry;
that I have a reason to worry made me feel at ease, like I wasn’t making
something out of nothing. Being reminded of the tings I can do to help me
regain control of my thoughts and emotions set the wheels in motion to get me
back on track! One key piece of advice he gave me, something that has really
stuck with me was to do the things which make me, me and that is what I did
last week! I set aside time to write, not blog posts, these usually only come
at inconvenient times, like now when I’m meant to be doing college assignments!
And also get back exercising, the plan was to go for some runs but when that
wasn’t happening I changed tactic and got myself back into the gym for some treadmill,
exercise bike and swimming. My mood has drastically improved and so too have my
feelings surrounding the pain.

While its still important I look out for
any increases in pain or swelling over the next few days, I think knowing that
this could just be my nerves beginning to work again has taken the fear out of
the pain and also stopped me from worrying! Unless anything drastic happens
before Wednesday (I have the option of attending a appointment on Wednesday with
my surgeon if I feel its needed) I don’t need to see my surgeon until February
12th. February is turning out to be a busy month with some important
dates relating both to my underbite journey and my self-harm journey!

Hopefully know that I am doing the things,
which make me, me, I will be able to get back to my life, putting jaw surgery
in the past. The next few days/weeks are going to be hard, until this pain begins
to fade it is important that I remain in control, and keep my thoughts,
emotions and this pain in check! Knowing that I have the power to do that keeps
me on the right path!

Just to make sure we all remember that Jaw surgery was 100% worth it, here is a picture, 3.5 months post surgery!