Contents

Passport to the Pub:A guide to British pub etiquette

2 Choosing Your Pub

Now that you know the basics, you can be confident about going into any
pub in Britain. Your only problem is the sheer number and variety of pubs
to choose from.

Rule number one: There is no such thing as a typical British pub

If you ask a native to show you a typical British pub, he or she might
well take you to the nearest ‘pretty-postcard-traditional’ pub - one that
looks like the pubs in the glossy tourist brochures - because we think
this will match your expectations. It may well be a very pleasant, friendly
pub, and, if you are lucky, it might not be full of other tourists. It
may be a fine example of a truly British pub, but it will not be the whole
truth.

The truth is that the typical British pub does not exist, or, if you prefer,
that there are at least 61,000 typical British pubs. There are over 61,000
pubs in Britain. They are all different. They are all typical. This should
not be a problem for the tourist. This is good news. It means that whatever
your tastes and preferences, however fussy or eccentric you may be, you
can find a pub to suit you.

Rule number two: If you know where to look, and what to look for, you can
find your ideal pub.

Do not expect different types of pub to be conveniently labelled - we identify
them through subtle clues in the decor, the appearance and behaviour of
customers, the style of service, the music, the types of drinks and pub-games
on display.

Here are a few common types of pub, with tips on where to find them, how
to identify them and what to expect.

Research findings: Most of the tourists we interviewed were keen to find
a ‘typical British pub’. American tourists were particularly obsessed with
this question of authenticity, wanting to be constantly reassured that
the pub they were in, the beer, the food - and even the barman - were ‘typically
British’. Bar staff, generally a tolerant breed, found these persistent
enquiries amusing, sometimes even endearing. Being anxious to please the
customer, they almost invariably answered "oh yes, very typical".

The Local

Natives will often refer to a particular pub as "my local". This is not
necessarily the pub nearest to their home, but rather their favourite among
a choice of pubs within their community.

Where to look

Any primarily residential area - whether town-centre, suburb or village
(the housing-estate pub is a special, highly distinctive type of local
which is covered separately below). You will not find many locals on the
main tourist track. Wander away from the big tourist attractions and main
shopping centres, towards the back-streets and suburbs - places where people
actually live. Here you will find the local pubs on street corners, or
sometimes in the middle of a row of ordinary houses.

Research findings: The majority of tourists we interviewed were unaware
of the variety and choice of pub types and styles available. In particular,
young tourists visiting ‘tourist-traditional’ pubs said they would prefer
a livelier atmosphere, but were not aware of the existence of ‘circuit’
pubs, ‘student’ pubs and other lively, youth-oriented pubs. Also, many
parents with young children did not know about the children’s facilities
and entertainment available at the larger ‘family’ pubs. Many tourists
of all ages were keen to venture off the tourist-track and visit ‘ordinary’
pubs, but had no idea of where to look, what to look for, or how to behave
when they got there!

When to visit

Evenings and weekends. If the pub is in a purely residential area, it may
be rather ‘dead’ and empty during the working day, only coming to life
in the evening and at weekends. If you want a comfortable chat with the
publican or bar staff, go along a bit earlier in the day, when they will
be less busy serving other customers.

What to look for

External clues

Although some locals are as ancient and historically interesting as the
more famous pubs on the tourist-track, they tend not to advertise their
history so blatantly. You are unlikely to see any ‘Ye Olde 17th-Century
Inn’ signs in the ordinary residential streets and suburbs. Even some very
picturesque village locals are remarkably modest about their heritage status.
The facade of a local will usually be simple and unpretentious - just the
pub-sign and the name on the front of the building. At most, there may
be a few signs in the windows to inform you that food, games or satellite
TV sports are available. You may see the occasional poster, banner or board
advertising forthcoming or regular events such as live music or a pub quiz.

Tourist Mistake: A village publican running a particularly pleasant pub
called The Red Lion was told by an American tourist that his pub was "much
nicer than the other pubs I have visited in the ‘Red Lion’ chain". Please
do not mistake common pub-names for branded chains. You will find a White
Horse, a Red Lion, a King’s Arms, a Rose & Crown etc. in almost every town.
These are not chains: they are individual, unconnected pubs which happen
to have very popular names.

Size and layout

Locals come in all shapes and sizes. The average town-centre local is likely
to be quite small, although it may well have the traditional two-room layout,
with a ‘public bar’ and a ‘lounge bar’. Suburban locals are generally much
more spacious, and ‘estate’ locals (see below) can be enormous.

Decor

Again, there is wide variation. But if you have only visited the historic
pubs in your tourist guidebook - with carefully-tended fireplaces, beams,
horse-brasses and artfully-lit ‘period’ features - you might initially
find the decor of the average local somewhat disappointing. You will see
ordinary chairs and tables, a nondescript patterned carpet, prosaic curtains
and a mish-mash of pictures, prints and objects scattered about the walls
and shelves by way of decoration.

These decorative items will sometimes be related to the name of the pub
- you may find ships in bottles and seascape paintings in The Navy Arms,
hunting prints in The Horse and Hounds, cricket paraphernalia and sepia
photos of long-dead cricket players in The Cricketers Arms. Many pub names,
however, do not provide the publican with an obvious decorative theme -
what would you put in The New Inn? Often, the publican may wisely choose
to ignore the name: you are unlikely to see paintings or sculptures of
red lions in The Red Lion, for example.

Customers

All ages, types and social classes - the population of the local is as
varied as the inhabitants of the surrounding area.

Behaviour

Usually very relaxed, friendly and sociable. The local pub is where the
natives meet and talk, exchange news and jokes and gossip, argue and debate,
celebrate and commiserate. Although the prevailing atmosphere will be cheerful,
you may occasionally hear a few heated words, and perhaps even see a few
tears: ‘All human life is here’.

Service style

Despite the somewhat insular nature of the local, you will probably be
made to feel welcome. Even if you fail to read or remember the etiquette
advice in this book, the publican and staff in the local are likely to
be friendly and helpful.

Drinks

Do not try order fancy cocktails or un-British drinks such as iced tea,
as local pubs are not familiar with these drinks, even though they may
have all the necessary ingredients. Stick to beer, cider, spirits, simple
spirits-with-mixer combinations such as gin-and-tonic or vodka and coke,
or soft drinks, tea and coffee. The choice of wines in most locals will
be very limited. See Chapter 1, The Basics, and Chapter 6, What’s Yours?
for tips on what to order and how to order it - and how the natives will
judge you by your choice of drink.

Food

If food is available, it will be the simple, unpretentious fare known as
‘pub grub’: pies, sausages, sandwiches, maybe roast beef on Sundays, and
just about everything will come with chips. Most locals will offer some
food, at least at lunchtime, even if it is only sandwiches and filled rolls.
Almost all pubs have packets of crisps and nuts somewhere behind the bar,
although crisps may not be displayed. If there are no visible signs of
food, and you are very hungry, it is still worth asking.

Games

The local is a pub where people spend a lot of time. Some may just pop
in for quick drink and a chat, but many natives will while away entire
evenings in their local on a regular basis. Social bonding is the main
function of the local pub, and pub games play a central role in facilitating
friendly interaction. In most locals, you will find several traditional
pub games, such as darts, pool and dominoes. See Chapter 8, Games Pubgoers
Play, for advice on how to join in.

Music

Some locals will have a jukebox; in others, the publican or staff will
play tapes or CDs - or you may find a live band. In some very basic locals,
there may just be a radio playing. In some, usually the more up-market
locals, there may be no music at all. You cannot identify a pub as a local
by the music - either the means of playing it or the type of music played.
But the type of music can sometimes tell you a bit about the type of customers
the pub attracts. Within a particular area there may be one local that
is favoured by a younger crowd, where you will hear louder and more up-to-date
music, and another which appeals to an older clientele, where the music
may be more nostalgic or ‘easy-listening’ in style.

The Family Pub

If you are visiting Britain with young children, these pubs could transform
your holiday. Family pubs have been rapidly multiplying ever since the
brewers and pub-owning companies discovered that many pubgoers are also
parents. Parents, especially mothers, had long been deprived of the joys
of regular pub-going, because children were not legally allowed in pubs.

This enforced maternity-leave from the local was clearly damaging to the
family unit, not to mention bad for business, and so the ‘family’ pub was
created. The law was changed to allow under-14s (accompanied by an adult)
into pubs with suitable facilities until 9pm. The clues below will help
you to find these child-friendly pubs - and if you prefer to do your drinking
and socialising in a child-free zone, this section will help you to avoid
them.

Where to look

There are two main types of family pub. One is the ordinary local pub that
particularly welcomes children, the other is the dedicated or specialist
family pub. The local version is to be found, like all locals, in primarily
residential areas away from main shopping centres and tourist-traps, or
in suburbs, housing estates and villages.

Specialist family pubs are now mushrooming in town centres as well as on
the outskirts of towns and in rural areas. There are now many ‘roadside’
family pubs on major roads (not motorways) across the country. In town
centres, family pubs are competing - and often winning - in the same market
as chains like McDonalds and Burger King. The out-of-town family pubs are
providing healthy competition for other roadside restaurant-chains.

When to visit

Daytime and early evening.

What to look for

External clues

The specialist family pubs are very easy to identify. They often display
large signs or banners saying ‘Family Pub’, ‘Children Welcome’ or ‘Children’s
Menu’. The local, community type of family pub is less easy to spot, but
there are a few clues that will help you. For a start, any pub with signs
advertising its food offering is worth trying - ‘food’ pubs are far more
likely to welcome children than dedicated ‘drinkers’ pubs. In suburbs and
villages, look for swings, slides, climbing frames, sandboxes, bouncy castles
and other children’s paraphernalia in the garden.

Decor

Family-friendly locals do not differ much from other local pubs in their
appearance, and even the big, specialist family pubs still retain much
of the traditional pub decor. Some of the larger specialist pubs, however,
now boast children’s play facilities and entertainment to rival the most
well-equipped nursery. These may include separate play-houses, sometimes
the size of large barns, with ‘ball pools’, video, games, slides and all
types of inflatable and squashy toys. Play areas often have padded floors
and walls, and are supervised by trained and experienced staff.

In some family pubs, you can leave your children in these capable hands
for an hour or so while you enjoy a drink and some adult company in another
part of the pub. These pubs will also have high-chairs, children’s menus,
baby-changing facilities and sometimes even child-sized toilets. Yet family
pubs are beating even the most famous burger-chains in competitions such
as the ‘Parent Friendly Restaurant Awards’ because they recognise the needs
and tastes of adults as well as children. Despite the child-friendly elements,
the place is still a pub - with a proper, grown-up bar; chairs and tables
made of wood, not plastic, and a sociable atmosphere.

Customers

In the family-friendly local, the customers will be as described in ‘The
Local’ above, although you may see more couples, more women, perhaps slightly
fewer single male drinkers and, before 9pm, more children. The clientele
of the specialist family pub will, of course, include a much higher proportion
of parents and children. These pubs are also very popular with grandparents,
and attract many native ‘tourists’ and day-trippers.

Behaviour

In general, you may find that native parents who choose to take their children
to pubs are rather more open-minded, and more friendly, than those who
stick to burger-chains. Pubs are about sociability: burger-chains are about
burgers. You are more likely to strike up a conversation and make friends
with British families in a pub.

Service style

Service in the family local will be much as in all local pubs: friendly
and informal. In the specialist family pub, staff will usually be well-trained
and attentive. Their approach may lack the cosy familiarity of the local,
but they will be more accustomed to coping with children.

Drinks

In addition to the usual range of beers, ciders, spirits, sherries, wine,
soft-drinks, tea and coffee, specialist family pubs may offer milk-shakes
and other children’s favourites. Some even provide bottle-warming facilities
for those with small babies.

Food

The family local will usually provide child-sized portions of traditional
pub food, as well as basic child-friendly meals such as baked beans on
toast. In the larger specialist pubs you will find colourful, illustrated
children’s menus, offering dinosaur-shaped fish, batman-shaped potato,
smiley puddings and everything else a child could wish for. In fact, the
specialist family pubs offer a much wider choice of children’s food than
the fast-food chains. And in the pub, you get to eat real food.

Advice: Unless there are signs specifically stating that children are welcome,
you should ask at the bar if children are allowed in the pub

Games

Specialist family pubs, and very family-oriented local pubs, are less likely
to have a pool table, as this is considered a somewhat ‘macho’ game, but
you may well find other traditional pub games such as darts and dominoes
- perhaps even scrabble, which can help to keep older children amused.

Music

There may be background music in both local and specialist family pubs,
but it will generally be less noticeable than in other pub types. A ‘Children
Welcome’ sign certainly does not mean that you will be subjected to inane
jingles and twinkly nursery rhymes.

The Student Pub

Many of Britain’s most popular tourist-venues are university towns - Oxford,
Cambridge, Bath, Edinburgh, York and Brighton, for example, are all as
famous for their scholarship as for their tourist attractions. In some
cases, the centres of learning and the tourist attractions are one and
the same. In all of these towns, and many others, you will find student
pubs.

Where to look

No more than one mile from the university buildings or halls of residence,
as most students don’t have cars. Students are also far more conservative
and predictable in their lifestyle than popular opinion would suggest,
and they rarely stray very far from their familiar home-territory. They
tend to patronise a few designated pubs within a restricted area.

When to visit

Student pubs will be at their most lively in the evenings and at weekends.
Some student pubs double as lunchtime and early-evening venues for shoppers
and local office-workers, and may not reveal their true character until
after about 8pm. In the summer, student pubs in the prettier university
towns may become tourist pubs, although some tend to attract a large proportion
of foreign students. To see the student pub in its ‘natural’ state, you
need to visit during term-time.

What to look for

External clues

From the outside, student pubs tend to look just like any other town-centre
or local pubs. Having located the ‘student territory’ in the town you are
visiting, you may have to take a look inside a few pubs to make an accurate
identification - unless you want to track a group of students through the
streets to see which pub they go to.

Decor

Once inside, the true student pub will be fairly easy to identify. It will
be furnished and decorated in much the same manner as the scruffier type
of local, but with the addition of posters, photos, news-sheets, sporting
paraphernalia, scarves, flags and other assorted tribal emblems and totems
of the student sub-culture.

Customers

Student-pub customers will be casually dressed, with no marked distinction
between male and female costumes. You will see some young couples in student
pubs, but students generally move in packs, mixed-sex groups being the
most common formation.

Behaviour

Student-pub customers are generally egalitarian, friendly and easy-going
(unless you count the odd nervous breakdown around exam time). They enter
the pub like children arriving home from school, shedding bags and coats
around the place as they call out greetings, scramble for drinks and snacks
and flop into chairs where they sprawl, munch and gulp contentedly. They
seem to have little need for privacy or personal space, and do not regard
their time as particularly precious. You should have no difficulty in making
friends among this sociable crowd, although their apparent informality
conceals a fairly rigid adherence to some of the rules of pub etiquette.
(See Chapter 3, Making Contact, and Chapter 5, It’s Your Round, for further
advice.)

Service style

There are two main types of service style in student pubs. Where the publican
does most of the work behind the bar, he or she will often adopt a somewhat
avuncular manner - indulgent, but with a reassuring touch of parental authority.
Where bar staff are involved, they will often be students themselves -
sometimes the ‘natural leaders’ among the student tribe, hired by the clever
publican who knows they will attract a following. Their service style will
be very informal - you will certainly never be called ‘sir’ or ‘madam’,
and spilt beer or missing lemon-slices will be treated as minor mishaps,
not matters requiring grovelling apology.

Drinks

Beer is by far the most popular student drink, as it is relatively cheap,
thirst-quenching and more satisfying than a small measure of wine or spirits.
While circuit-pub customers (see below) almost invariably prefer lager,
you will find more bitter-drinkers among the student population, including
a number of real-ale connoisseurs. (See Chapter 1, The Basics and Chapter
6, What’s Yours?, for advice on ordering.)

Food

If food is available, it will usually be basic snacks and ‘pub grub’. Some
student pubs may offer more vegetarian options than normal. Students rarely
have budgets to match their healthy appetites, so you can expect generous
portions and good value.

Games

Traditional pub games such as pool and darts are very popular with students,
and will be found in many student pubs. Students tend to take these games
rather less seriously than other regular pubgoers, and you should find
it easy to join in. Pub quizzes are somewhat more competitive - knowledge
having a slightly higher value among students than eye-hand co-ordination
- but these are still friendly occasions. You may also see more recent
inventions such as pin-ball machines, quiz machines and other electronic
amusements.

Music

Students have varied tastes in music, and their pubs reflect this. Some
publicans will simply play the latest sounds, others will play the current
‘cult’ favourites. Live music is very popular with students, and student
pubs will often feature local bands, or even student bands.

The Estate Pub

This is, strictly, a sub-type of the broad ‘local’ pub category, but it
deserves a section to itself. You will never find an estate pub listed
in a glossy guidebook. This is a true native habitat, untouched by tourism
- in fact, the estate pub is about as far removed from tourist-Britain
as you can get.

Where to look

The estate pub, as its name suggests, is to be found exclusively on housing
estates. These are large, purpose-built groups of inexpensive houses on
the fringes of towns and cities throughout Britain. Somewhere among these
houses, you will find an estate pub.

When to visit

Evenings and weekends. Like other locals, the estate pub is likely to be
deserted during the day, as people are away at work (except in areas of
high unemployment, but here there will be very little spare cash for leisure
pursuits, and pub-going will generally be a Friday/Saturday night or Sunday
lunchtime activity).

What to look for

External clues

Estate pubs tend to be functional rather than aesthetically pleasing. You
will not find any pretty, quaint, old-fashioned estate pubs, for the obvious
reason that most estates, and their pubs, were built after World War Two.
The estate pub is usually a large building, and decidedly utilitarian in
appearance, although it may well be hung about with banners and posters
advertising forthcoming events or promotions. Do not be put off by the
exterior. If you wanted a glossy-guidebook pub, you would not have come
this far.

Size and layout

Estate pubs tend to be big, often with two or more spacious bars, as well
as a generously-sized function-room and perhaps even a separate games room.

Decor

Unless the pub has been recently refurbished, it will have a comfortably
shabby, lived-in look. You will probably see worn carpets, scuffed furniture
and fittings and other features reminiscent of an ordinary family living-room
- rather than the beams-and-fireplace homeliness of more up-market pubs.
There will also be some bold, brash elements: brightly coloured posters
promoting special events such as darts matches, live music, karaoke nights
- and hand-written notices congratulating regular customers on their birthdays
or wedding anniversaries.

Customers

The inhabitants of the housing estate. Very few strangers, unless there
is a special event on that attracts people from other areas, and no ‘passing
trade’ at all. You may well find that many of the customers in the estate
pub are related to each other. There will certainly be no tourists, until
you arrive.

Behaviour

As in the town, suburb and village locals described above, only more so.
The close connections between the regulars, and the almost total absence
of outsiders, mean that the estate pub will seem even more like a private
club than other locals. The regulars’ familiarity with each other, however,
may work in your favour, as a stranger will often be regarded as an interesting
novelty - a welcome distraction from the same old faces - rather than as
an intruder. They will almost certainly want to know why you have strayed
so far off the tourist-track. The best response would be simply to say
that someone recommended this pub to you as a friendly place.

Service style

As in the other locals described above, service in estate pubs will generally
be friendly and welcoming. The service style will never be obsequious or
ingratiating - you are more likely to be called "mate" than "sir". In an
estate pub, the customer and the staff are considered to be of equal status,
and those working behind the bar will not take kindly to being treated
like servants. Respect is mutual, so if you want friendly, polite service,
remember to smile and say "please" and "thank you" yourself.

Drinks and food

As in the other types of local pub described above, avoid asking for elaborate
cocktails, and do not expect haute cuisine. Food will be honest, simple
‘pub grub’, usually served in generous portions.

Games

Games such as pool and darts are often an important element of estate-pub
life. There may be a separate room dedicated to pool-playing, perhaps with
more than one pool-table. As with other locals, you may arrive in the middle
of an important league match. See Chapter 8, Games Pubgoers Play, for advice
on appropriate behaviour.

Music

You will rarely find an estate pub without music (the no-music trend being
confined largely to more up-market ‘serious-traditional’ pubs). The wide
age-range of customers means that publican will generally ‘play safe’,
both in terms of the type of music and the volume - unless you happen to
arrive on a Karaoke Night. Karaoke, a pastime imported from Japan which
involves exhibiting one’s singing talents with the help of backing tapes,
is very popular in estate pubs. The singing is usually loud and unskilled,
but the atmosphere is lively and good-humoured.

Estate pubs are not to everyone’s taste, but visitors with a genuine curiosity
about British life and culture will find much to capture their interest.
Most tourists do not have the opportunity to spend time in the homes of
ordinary natives: the estate pub is as close as you will get to a behind-the-scenery
perspective on Britain.

Advice: If you get into conversation with an estate-pub regular, you would
be wise to refrain from commenting on the appearance or behaviour of other
people in the pub, as you may well be talking to their uncle, cousin or
mother-in-law!

The Circuit Pub

Young people in British cities and larger towns practice an ancient tribal
ritual which involves sauntering from pub to pub on a Friday or Saturday
night, usually following a well-defined route or sequence of pubs (the
‘circuit’), taking just one or two drinks in each pub before moving on
to the next. The pubs on this circuit are known as ‘circuit’ pubs, although
you may also hear them referred to as youth pubs, venue pubs, fun pubs
or disco pubs.

Where to look

Town and city centres. The ‘circuit’ usually consists of just a few streets
within a small central area. Look for streets at the centre of larger towns
which are brightly lit and contain a generous number of pubs.

When to visit

Friday and Saturday evenings only, after 8pm. This is when the young natives
flood in to the town centre for their weekly parade around the circuit.
Some circuit pubs will do very little trade at other times. Many will have
a quite different role and atmosphere during the working week, when they
may serve as lunchtime and after-work-drinks venues for office workers
and shoppers.

What to look for

External clues

Identifying a circuit pub from the outside can sometimes be tricky. Many
circuit pubs have deceptively ordinary facades, with nothing much to distinguish
them from other town-centre pubs. On a Friday or Saturday night, however,
there will be a few subtle external clues to help you. First, the music
will be louder. You may be able to hear it from the street, even when the
pub doors are shut.

Second, there may be one or two ‘bouncers’ (more politely known as ‘door
staff’ or ‘door supervisors’) standing at the door of the pub. If neither
of these clear signs is immediately obvious, glance through the windows:
a circuit pub will usually be more brightly lit than other types, and by
9 or 9.30 pm on a Friday or Saturday, it will be very busy. The most popular
circuit pubs will be packed with crowds of young people by this time.

Size and layout

Again, many circuit pubs are not easily distinguished from ordinary town-centre
pubs, although circuit pubs tend to be fairly large, and usually open-plan.
There may be two separate bars in some of the very big circuit pubs, but
you will rarely find the old-fashioned ‘public bar’ and ‘lounge bar’ distinction.
The most common layout is one large, open-plan bar - sometimes even with
a dance-floor.

Decor

You will often notice a lack of cosiness and privacy in the decor of a
circuit pub. Young people come to the circuit pub to see and be seen, so
bright lights, open spaces and ‘posing platforms’ - raised areas where
the trend-setters can be even more visible - are essential. In the dedicated
circuit pub, you will see none of the dark wood, soft textures and comfortable
shabbiness of more traditional pub-types. Surfaces will be hard and shiny,
furnishings will either be new-looking and carefully matched, or clashing
and mismatched in a highly contrived and clearly deliberate manner. Style
always takes precedence over comfort.

A theme of some sort may be evident in the decorative features, such as,
for example, ‘1950s Americana’, with drug-store jukeboxes, lots of chrome,
tail-fin cars, etc. Themes go in and out of fashion very rapidly, and circuit
pubs are re-furbished at least twice as frequently as any other pub-type,
to keep up with the fashion-conscious British youngsters. The current fads
are for ‘Sports-bars’ with banks of video screens showing satellite and
cable sports events, and ‘Cyber-pubs’ with computers connected to the Internet.
By the time you read this book, these may already be old hat, and a new
gimmick may be sweeping the youth-pubs of Britain.

Customers

You will see very few customers over the age of 30. On a Friday or Saturday
night, almost all of the customers in the circuit pub will be in the 18-25
age group. You may spot a few stray thirty-somethings, joining in the fun
with determined cheerfulness, but the rare forty-something is probably
a sociologist writing a book on youth-culture.

Circuit-pub customers are of about the same age as student-pub customers,
and have the same capacity to consume large quantities of beer, but there
the similarities end. In the circuit pub, customers will be dressed in
the latest street-fashions and will clearly have invested some time and
effort in their appearance. Females in particular will be much more glamorous
than their student-pub counterparts. This is also one of the few pub-types
in which you will consistently find equal numbers of males and females
- and you will see more large single-sex groups in the circuit pub than
in any other type of pub.

Behaviour

Apart from the basic good-humour which characterises all pub behaviour,
the comportment of circuit-pub customers bears little resemblance to that
of ordinary pubgoers. Circuit-pub behaviour is a curious mixture of spontaneous
exuberance and self-conscious posing. The object is to have fun, but also
to be noticed.

You will notice that circuit pub customers, unlike those in the cosy local,
are always on the move. There will be a constant flow of customers in and
out of the pub, as they consume the statutory one or two drinks before
circuit etiquette requires them to move on to the next pub, all entrances
and departures being performed with maximum noise and fanfare.

Service style

Do not expect leisurely chats with the bar staff in circuit pubs - particularly
on busy Friday and Saturday nights. Service will usually be fast, efficient
and cheerful - sometimes even flamboyant - but has none of the cosy familiarity
of the local.

Drinks

Fashions in drinks change even more often than the decor in youth pubs.
Generally, there will be a wide range of standard lagers and imported bottled
lagers, but do not expect much choice of bitters, or any traditional cask-conditioned
ales. The current trend is to drink bottled lagers from the bottle, and
in some youth-pub circles, asking for a glass will seriously damage your
street-cred.

The usual spirits-with-mixers are common, but you may also be faced with
a bewildering variety of bottled ‘designer’ concoctions. There is little
point in listing the current fads, as they will be out of favour by next
week, but be warned that they are often very strong.

Food

The circuit pub is unlikely to serve food in the evenings. Come nightfall,
these pubs are dedicated to drinking, laughing and showing-off.

Games

You are unlikely to find any traditional pub games on the circuit, although
a few youth pubs may have pool tables. You may, however, see a few pin-ball
machines, and perhaps ‘gimmicky’ novelties such as table-football, video
games or the Internet.

Music

Usually loud. Music is very important to young natives. The volume suggests
that it is considerably more important than conversation, which tends to
be limited either to monosyllabic shouted exchanges or a rather awkward
kind of semaphore.

If you are invited to join a circuit-drinking group, and you have plenty
of youthful energy and stamina, accept. It should be an experience to remember.

Variations

Within these basic categories, there are many variations. The ‘local’,
for example, is a very broad category, encompassing many very different
types and styles of pub, which include the basic spit-and-sawdust boozer,
the serious-traditional pub and the suburban-stockbroker pub. Some town-centre
pubs, although not situated in residential areas, may serve as ‘locals’
for office-workers, market-stall vendors, labourers, executives and others
who work nearby. If business contacts say "I’ll take you to our local",
they usually mean their work-local, not their home-local. If you find a
town-centre pub with a particularly friendly, informal atmosphere, where
many of the customers appear to be on familiar terms with the bar staff
and each other, you may have stumbled on a ‘work-local’.

The classless society

Although the above categorisation of pub-types has inevitably emphasised
the social differences between different styles of pub and their clientele,
it is important to remember that the British pub is, in general, a ‘classless
society’. Although some pubs cater largely to a particular social group,
you will find a wide cross-section of the British population in most pubs.
The composition of the pub-football teams in an Oxford local provides a
graphic example: regular players include a head of a University department,
a bricklayer, two solicitors, a postman, a financial consultant, two self-employed
builders, a biochemist, a maths teacher, a factory worker, a computer programmer,
a salesman, three unemployed, an accountant, a roofer, a tiler, a town-planner,
a shop assistant - and Joe McCann, SIRC’s Research Manager and the principal
researcher for this book!

Warning: The quiet, pretty, town-centre ‘tourist’ pub you discovered at
lunchtime may lead a double life, becoming a vibrant, crowded, noisy circuit
pub at night