Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Heavy Metal Memories

Hard Rock. There's a genre that gets no respect. Not from people who don't wear leather pants and do that devil horn thing with their hands anyway. But what if I told you metal needn't be all about goat slaying and the ritual sacrifice of virgins? If I said that it provided what must be, with all apologies to Moscow by Genghis Khan, the greatest videoclip ever produced? You'd say I was crazy - and I probably am. On that note I present to you the epic that is Judas Priest's Breaking The Law

Security guard of major bank is asleep at his post.

Priest comes out of a porn shop. He may very well be up to something dodgy. Who are we kidding? He's a priest!

Suddenly Ian Fitzgerald, bank employee, sees something that troubles him. Is it Ronnie Biggs wielding a shotty and demanding all the cash in small unmarked notes?

Bollocks to that, it's Judas Priest and they've got electric guitars.

Hostages are forced, at Fender point, to listen to the band’s manifesto on why sometimes you have to break to law.

The vault is then located (via a giant door that says BANK), the plastic bars are ripped away by the rock behemoth that is Rob Halford and the gold records are liberated.

Yeah, just look at those bars go. This is sensational. Rob is the hardest man ever to come out of Sheffield.

Security guard wakes up and is so inspired by the raid that he rips out his wooden guitar and ROCKS OUT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.

Anyone can spend $10m on a video and not have it come anywhere near the quality of this. I’m calling for the return of plastic bars and wooden guitars to the music video of today. As an added bonus we present the song (alas not the video) in it’s entirety,