Santa Banta Jokes

Santa Banta Jokes are very popular among kids. We have a huge collection of santa banta funny jokes including nonveg but very family friendly as these are santa banta jokes for kids. These santa banta jokes are meant as no offence to anyone. Any funny joke that needs a name uses either Santa or Banta or both Santa and Banta. Enjoy the latest Santa Banta Jokes on our JOKESPEDIA app that you can download for free. Jokes on the app include conversations of best funny jokes about Santa Banta, One Liners and in vernacular languages too.

Santa Banta Jokes In English

Most of the jokes listed on this page are in English or in the english script even though the content is actually in Hindi. However in the app you can read the Hindi jokes in Devnagri script. THe best part is you can share your very own Santa banta jokes in our app and help bring a smile to so many people.

Bank manager asks Santa in an interview: "What is cyclone"Santa: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"

Interviewer: What is a skeleton?Santa: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting,
but forgot to stop it!!

Santa was drawing money from ATM.

A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?Santa: For what ?Salesman: For antsSanta: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!

How do you identify a Santa in a classroom ?
It is simple.. check who's erasing his notes when the teacher is cleaning the board. !!!!

Santa was writing past tense of "I make a mistake"
Guess what he wrote ?
"I was made by a mistake"

The most dangerous joke till date:Banta: How the word 'Wife' was invented?Santa: They took the first two and last two letters of 'Wildlife'!

Santa calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.Santa- When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?Help Desk - Dear Santa, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.Santa - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.Help Desk - !!!!!

Santa - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?Banta - I can eat 6 apples.Santa - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not an empty stomach!Banta: Wow superb joke. I'll tell my friend..Bant to Rahul - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?Rahul - I can eat 10.Banta - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!

Santa vs Banta. Question to both in a competition.
What is half of 8?Santa: 4Banta: Depend karta hai .... agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''
Santa still unconcious...!!!

Santa Banta Funny Conversation

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Banta jumps from 100th floor.
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor he remembers I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor he remembers I'm Banta not Santa!

Banta professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

Santa standing below a tube light with open mouth.
Why?Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light !'

A Santa went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he went to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'

Banta sent a letter to the Aviation Minister:
Sir, it's my humble request that the new Airport in Panvel should be named 'Bantacruz' since my brother already has one airport named after him. 'Santacruz'!!!

Santa met with and Accident and went to HospitalDocotor: You need stichesSanta: What will be the cost? Doctor: Rs . 800Santa: oh hello... I need stiches, Not embroidery work!!!

In Resume of Santa:
Strength: My Wife Manjeet
Weakness: Banta's wife Manpreet
Opportunity: When Banta is on Tour
Fear: When I am on Tour

Santa And Banta are probably the most famous set of friends in India. Santa Banta Jokes are heard and relished by any and everyone in India. T

These are lovable guys who dont care too much about their grey cells and can make you laugh at the silliest of topics.

Santa Banta jokes have regaled Indians for decades and given a lot of joy. We hope the latest Santa Banta jokes that we have listed here bring a smile on your face and ease up any tension that you may be going through right now.

Three cheers for Santa and Banta! May they live .long and keep us smiling!

Santa was drawing money from ATM.
A person, who was just behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."

Salesman: Sir, do you want this powder ?Santa: For what ?Salesman: For antsSanta: No. If I give powder today, they will ask lipstick tomorrow!!!

Banta noticed that Santa was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Banta.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."
"That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will'."
"Yeah," said Santa, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"

Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health. Santa: Sir I play football, cricket, daily. Doctor: How long do you play? Santa: Until the battery in my mobile goes down!!

Santa was writing something very slowly.Banta: Why are you writing so slowly?Santa: I am writing to my 5 years old kid Jhurlu, he can't read very fast.

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.
Banta: Is this dog faithful ?
Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

Santa: What is the difference between "complete and finish"?Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!
Santa Singh's lover asked: Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?

"Sure", replied Santa, "What's your phone number?"

Teacher : santa, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? Santa : You told me to do it without using tables.

Once Santa was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
security guard told "WAIT SIR" for which santa replied "65Kgs"

Mrs Banta phoned Banta in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."
"Good" replied Banta, "make sure she`s prepared well".

Santa: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

"Darling" said Santa to his new bride. "Now that we are married ,do you think you can live on my small income?". "Ofcourse dearest", she replied. "But what will you live on?"

Santa threw his watch off the balcony of his house on the tenth floor. He ran downstairs and still managed to catch it. How did he do that?
Because Santa's watch is always ten minutes slow.

Santa checked his girlfriend's mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed "TIMEPASS NO. 8"

Santa is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room doesn't flush so he runs to the lobby to use the men's room but none of the stalls are free. He runs back to his room ,uproots a plant and shits in the pot .Then he puts the plant back and leaves. A week later he gets a postcard from the hotel that says" Dear Sir...all is forgiven...just tell us....where is it?"

Once Santa brought his girlfriend home for dinner. This was her first time meeting the family so she was tremendously nervous. This along with the broccoli she ate gave her a little gas so she let out a small noiseless fart but it turned out to be loud enough for the family to hear. Right then Santa's father shouted at the dog sitting next to her chair, "Ginger!". She was relieved. Next time she let out a louder one and again Santa's father shouted at the dog, "Ginger!" he said. Finally she let a really loud one out that sounded like a train whistle and the father said "Ginger!!!!! Move from there before she shits on you!!!"

Santa walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he sips the beer he hears a soothing voice say "nice tie". He looks around and is baffled to see that there is no one there except him and the bartender at the other end of the room. A few sips later the voice says "beautiful shirt".Santa panics and calls the bartender over and says "I must be losing my mind, I can hear these voices say nice things but there is no one else except you and me" , the bartender points to the table and says "oh it's the peanuts , they are complimentary

Inappropriate things that Santa tells his kid
-Beta why is a cemetery so popular?
Everyone is DYING to get in.
-Beta do you need a hand with that?
Haan papaji
Santa starts clapping.
-After watching his son slip on the slide, Santa says, "Happy journey Beta!!!!"
-Santa's son asks for 100 bucks.
Santa says " 50 bucks? What do you need 20 bucks for?"

Santa is the true music lover.
A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking a bath and Santa is near the keyhole listening to her.

Santa being romantic to his wife.
"One day God tested me , erased all my memory and asked do you remember anyone now?
I told Him your name and He replied, "I am sorry some viruses cannot be formatted""

Santa's wife hit him on the head with the frying pan.Santa: What was that for?Santa's Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it.Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse.Santa's wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again.Santa: now what happened?Santa's wife: your horse is on the phone.

Santa tells his dad, "Pappaji there is this kid in school who calls me gay"Santa's Dad:" Oye beta then punch him!!!"Santa: " No papa he is sooooooo cute!!!"

Do you drink? Girl's father asked Santa. Santa says " first tell me whether it's a question or invitation?"

Santa taking grammar lessons
"If more than one mouse is mice then more than one spouse is spice!!!!"

Officer Santa: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.Lady: why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?Officer Santa: That is not restricted.

Santa calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to
Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says Santa and hangs up.

How do you recognize a Santa in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chicks to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chicks because all of the first lot had died. Another month later he was back at the dealers for another hundred chicks, for the second lot had also died.
'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa. 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

Santa had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again he had twins & named them Peter & Repeater.
Again he had twins & named them Max & Climax.
Next time he had twins, disgusted Santa named them TIRED &
RETIRED!