The Death Pool – Reports From The Court House

Mid way through July and holy shit is it hot outside. Even hotter inside of some court houses these days though.

Lets hear a big round of applause for Daniel Hunt and Ian Salerno. Two boys who decided it would be fun to go to Boston and blow off some steam. Start a fight and see how the rest of the weekend goes.

But hey boys, you kinda screwed the pooch on this one because the kid you beat up was none other than Lindsay Lohans cousin. A hockey player at Boston University working on his masters degree.

It gets better though……

Off duty New Jersey police officer, Daniel Hunt, 27, allegedly pushed Kevin Lohan inside the shop and started the altercation. During the scuffle, Ian Salerno allegedly came up behind Lohan, a college student, and punched him in the jaw, knocking him to the ground. That’s right. Off duty POLICE OFFICER!

Kevin Lohan was beaten so brutally by the two men that he required surgery for a broken jaw where permanent metal plates were placed inside his mouth and cheek. His jaw was also wired shut for weeks after the surgery.

Daniel Hunt and Ian Salerno are set to be arraigned on the charges on August 1. It is unclear on whether or not Hunt still has his job at the Haddon Heights Police Department in New Jersey. But if he does, his boss is just as big of a shit head.

Then we have a case of “Hey I am married to the former NHL’r”…..

Lets hear a round of applause for Mary Beth Leetch. Turns out Mary Beth and her sister Tracy were out drinking at some gay bar in NY and they got a little too loud and a little too out of control and they were asked to leave.

After that they decided to not pay a shitty little bar tab and that’s when the fighting began. Classy.

And then it happened…..“I’m Brian Leetch’s wife,” Seriously? Like who gives a shit these days. Enjoy the court time and the lawsuits you were just served with. Yep, you are Brian Leetch’s wife and they all know you can pay. Ha Ha Ha

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.