This one time, we went to a party at Dan's. It was supposed to be, like, super awesome. So we went, and we were all expecting a keg and shit. So we got there, and got, like, a bottle of beer from the fridge, cause, like, it was his parent's house or something and he hadn't got a keg, but there was still beer there. And it was pretty lame. But then, and this is awesome, Dan started reading out his friend's Reddit posts, or something, I think that's what it was, but I'd had 2 Corona, so I was a bit out of it. But yeah, Dan started, like, reading out this stuff, and, like, most of it we didn't get, but Dan was laughing like he was going to piss himself. So we all kind of laughed too, but we didn't really know why, and by then we'd had another Corona, and someone put on this awesome music, so we all kind of started dancing. But yeah, apparently, Dan was reading it out for ages and thought it was sooooo funny.

One time I was at a party and my ipod was being played over the speakers, when someone decided to browse the internet to see if the place had wifi. My gangbang porno I forgot to X out of earlier popped up and started up right in the bukkake section.

Not quite the same, but I was also embarrassed at a party.

EDIT: Haha yes, it was fucking DAN that tried the wifi on my ipod. And thank you all for the great advice for this situation, next time it happens I'm gonna turn the party into a gang bang.

"I smiled and made a weird wheezing noise. I liked it." - That one was probably the moment Alpha-Centauri realized everything was lost in his efforts to get the girl of his dreams, Gabby. So many months of work, all down the drain thanks to Dan and his jabbering mouth. Alpha-Centauri had worked up so hard to just get Gabby to notice him, he subscribed to every subreddit you could possibly romantically gain from, /r/MaleFashionAdvice, /r/RelationshipAdvice, /r/Fitness, you name it - all lost - THANKS TO FUCKING DAN. Gabby had just accepted an invitation to meet up with Alpha-Centauri at the nearby university coffee joint. Everything was aligned. It's all ruined. Fuck you dan, fuck you.

Oh my god. My ex posted a post I had on the frontpage to Facebook to brag that his girlfriend made the front page. Then everyone knew my username. It was horrifying. And I thought it was done and over with until this summer I was at a bar with an old acquaintance and some new friends and the acquaintance got drunk and started telling everyone all of their favorite posts from my Reddit account. Worst. Ex. Ever.

Dan rhymes, with can, cans are made of aluminum. The atomic symbol for Aluminum is al. al rhymes with pal. pal could be an acronym for personal ass licker. If I had a personal ass licker, it would have to be Dan, because fuck you, Dan!

A classmate of mine once left his smartphone in class for fifteen minutes. While he was gone, two girls had jumped it and gone through just about everything on it. Apparently it didn't have a lock screen, and it was filled with the weirdest porn. The kind of porn you might run into on the Internet at times but needs a few seconds to realize exactly what it is. The girls showed it to everyone else and told it to as many people as possible, and people started making jokes behind his back, slowly making him understand that everyone knew... People can be such scumbags.