Throwaway.

Seriously, it’s the day after Thanksgiving. If you’re reading this? Lies. Nobody is reading this. But I updated anyway. I remembered to do this comic WHILE HOSTING A PARTY. Our party attendees decided to make it very difficult for me to complete this update, mostly scantily clad female friends who rubbed their butts and tits on my head and shoulder, telling me to get off the computer. This is what I do for my readers.

It normally takes me 15 minutes to schedule an update. This update has taken me over an hour and a half.

The truly funny thing is that my bedroom gun / intruder management system is an old-school, wood-stocked, pre-1968 500, albeit with an 18-1/2″ barrel and no choke. My Implement of Ceramic Frisbee Destruction is an all-black, polymer-stocked Maverick.

Its a setup for a pun about chokes. In a shotgun, the choke is where the bore is narrowed at the muzzle end. This causes the shot pellets to be pressed together, resulting in a tighter pattern, which is to say, less spread. It basically extends the range. Sawed off shotguns tend to spread more because they have no choke, NOT because they are short.
The tightest patterning shotgun I own is a .410 that has a 12.5 inch barrel, but the tightest, or fullest, choke I have ever seen. The longest barreled shotgun I have is an old Savage 12 gauge side by side, with 30 inch barrels. It spreads it`s shot out a bunch, as it has pretty open chokes. Half and Mod, I think. My other double barrel duck slayer is a french over-under with 26 inch barrels, and the chokes are three quarter and full. Much tighter patter, throws shot much further before they spread so much that ducks and clays are able to fly between the pellets.

As a foreign reader, I did Thanksgiving last month, before it snowed everywhere and the temp was still above zero.

Also, that pun made me choke on my coffee.

In a related question, how many shotguns is too many shotguns, because my ass is up to 7, including 3 that are silly short. Showing up at a skeet range with a 12 inch break action gets you some stares…

On a freedom related note, somebody (a troll of some sort, a tabloid or other special interest group) did a survey in the UK of surviving WWII vets. They found a hefty percentage felt the given the way the world is today, the world would be a better place if they`d let the fascists win…

Like Ronald Reagan, first thing I do when I get up is read the comics. Twolumps is next on my list, followed by Questionable content, and Dillystickybuns (if they updated, Pixie is on vacation this week).

America is pretty strange in the love for “tactical” pump shotguns, and even I don’t completely understand it. I’d rather have an Auto 5 for 1100. Semi automatic shotguns proved themselves well in WW2, and over 60 years later, there are some awesome semi-autos out there.

We Americans have a tendency to load shotguns with crackpot novelty ammo as or more bizarre than anything you’d dream of putting into a muzzle-loading cannon, which could affect the reliability of the self-loading action. Some examples of the crazy. But shotguns also get pressed into service for breaching doors and shooting beanbags or rock salt, and other odd things. It’s this tendency to push the envelope with shotgun loads that leads us to favor the less-finicky pump action over self-loaders.

Or else somebody thinks that they need the ominous noise of a manually-cycled shotgun action. Leave the chamber empty, and nobody can tell the difference. Trust me, pulling the charging handle on my Remington 11-87 makes almost exactly the same noise as pumping the slide on a Remington 870. And after the first blast, nobody can hear the action anyway.

I’m not really here, posting this. It’s an illusion.
I’m really out fighting tooth-n-nail for the second-to-last ‘My Special Brony’ 27-month calendar. Good thing I remmebered to bring my mcae. No – not the spray. The five-pound hunk of brain-bashing metal.

Actually, I really AM here posting this. There is no blood-dripping hunk of steel in the front closet. I was never out at all today. Honest.

Also: Would have read sooner, but had to work. Just got home. Your comic is one of the highlights of my day. Between family conversations trying to guilt me into visit more and crazy coworkers, I really needed a laugh, and today’s was goofy enough to give it to me. Thank you, dear sir.