The Vegetal Toaster

Yes, I’m a day late—and more than a dollar short—the story of my life.

Anyway, this is as good a time & place as any to share my elusive dream: I want a Honda Element. I would prefer a vegetal green shade, but really, and color will do.

People ask me why, O why, do I embrace the idea of cruising around a toaster. The answer is simple: with a little creativity and imagination, a toaster-like vehicle can be transformed into, well…a piece of tricked-out art!

Picture it: an Element with flames on either side, curb feelers, spinners on the hubcaps, and a chain steering wheel. It’s a given that pair fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror and a plastic hula girl on the dash are gotta-haves!

A conundrum presents itself, however, in that I cannot decide whether to turn it into a low-rider, or jack-up the rear end.