Words from the pulpit of the First Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Palm Beaches, and other significant messages.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Idolatry of Anti-Choice

This is a sermon that I understood I needed to preach but
resisted writing.I have a 28-year
career in nursing, the majority of which has been as a Women’s Health Care
Nurse Practitioner. I began in a Planned Parenthood affiliate in upstate New York in 1991. I was
director of Patient Services of our local affiliate, Planned Parenthood of
Collier County in Naples, Florida, from 1993 to 1995, then returning
there in 2010 where I am still their lead clinician. I’ve worked in Ob-Gyn
private practices. I have high risk labor and delivery hospital experience
where I spent 12-hour nights assisting in all types of deliveries.I was a member of a bereavement team for
fetal loss, which means I have prepared the bodies of dead infants and sat with
grieving families as they cried over them. I am the mother of three children. I
have experienced a miscarriage between two of them. As a young adult I have
also had an abortion. Why then, despite all those experiences is it still hard
to talk about abortion?

It is hard for me to talk about abortion. Why is that? In my
support of women’s reproductive rights and complete pro-choice stance …. why is
it still hard for me to talk about abortion? I’ve thought about this literally
for years ... why?

The language game comes into play. Notice my sermon title
choice of the words “anti-choice”. If I’m pro-choice then those opposed to
abortion claim pro-life. If they are pro-life am I anti-life? Of course not,
but these types of word manipulations are constantly flung back and forth
between both ends of the choice “sides”.Is it because of the subtle and not so subtle messages of our local
culture? While I was director of Patient Services of the Collier County
affiliate I frequently heard, “oh you work for Planned Parenthood? But we don’t
do abortions here, right?” This always felt like a granting of some type of
clemency.

Gee, thanks. But now, folks, we do. Finally, once again, Collier County provides access to safe, legal
abortions instead of sending women out of the county. There was a gap of 12 or so years when
abortion was not available unless you had transportation to Ft Myers, Sarasota or Miami.
This was a result of the one physician who had been providing abortion services
who quit due to the stress of opponents’ harassment and a lack of collegial
support. But we’ll get back to that later.

Here is why I think talking about abortion is difficult. It is
because abortions are horrible. They are no fun. They come after difficult and
painful decisions are made and they are stressful, uncomfortable and sad. In
our dualistic society with the shrill and constant voice of anti-choice
screaming ‘murder’ it seemed that if I admit conflicted feelings about abortion
then somehow I am disloyal to my own beliefs about a woman’s right to choice.

Too much of my thinking has been done in response to the
accusations and self-righteous claims of those who do not support choices for abortion.
My framework has always been; I am either here on this end, or I am over there;
on that end.And that linear and
dualistic continuum, my friends, is where I now refuse to place myself.

As a Unitarian Universalist, I am asked to guard against
idolatry of the mind and spirit. Idolatry is defined as the excessive or blind
devotion to something. My idol detector goes off the moment something cannot be
questioned.And as human beings we all
do it. Unitarian Universalists, for example, get tweaked when others challenge the
effectiveness of some of our favorite green behaviors. We saw some of it with
the discourse around changing the language of the Seven Principles.

Emerson warns us, a person will worship something and reminds
us that we become what we are worshiping.If I cannot question and wrestle openly and honestly with my own mixed
feelings about abortion then I place myself at the one of two ends of the
choice spectrum. Even pro-choice camps can slip into fanaticism and idolatry of
their position.

A classmate was in an ethics class and they were discussing
abortion. He shared his pro-choice position, but when he added his personal
experiences of wrestling with the issue he was immediately discounted because
he was A: a male and B: he expressed conflicted feelings. He was informed by
another classmate that abortion is a medical procedure that is no different
than pulling a tooth. Your idol detectors should be sounding their alarms right
now. Only one position is acceptable and one way of thinking. And these were
Unitarian Universalist seminarians on their path to ministry.

It seems then that I only have two choices; Abortion never? Idolatry. Abortion always? It sounds
ridiculous but that is how many people understand the issue. If you are
pro-choice then somehow you are anti-pregnancy, anti-family or anti-baby and
think everyone should have an abortion. I no longer accept that type of thinking.

Idolatry is dangerous. It
creates self-righteousness and zealous earnestness. I’ve walked through many
lines of anti-choice picketers when I worked in the Upper
Hudson affiliate. Now that I’m back at our Collier County
affiliate, it’s been a revisiting of those days now that we regularly have
picketers. Idolatry justifies following Planned Parenthood employees around in
public, looking up license plate numbers and knowing home addresses and making
death threats to medical directors.

One day a new person showed up. And it was her behavior that
was the catalyst for finally writing this sermon. Instead of the usual praying
and pointing crosses and crucifixes at me this person was screaming. She
informed me of the demons within me that I would be taking home to my family.
Really? She doesn’t know that as a Unitarian Universalist and especially as a
minister, I am required to regularly dance with those demons. But as I
walked into the building she began shouting something that (forgive me for the
word I’m about to use but it’s the only one that fits) I got pissed. Not just
rankled or annoyed or angry but really, really pissed.(Outraged and incensed might work) “I’m doing
God’s work! This is God’s work. I am doing God’s work!” I turned and looked at
her red, furious, out-of-control face.I
can still picture her clenched fists as her screeching words cut through the
warm morning air.

I am not a deist. God is not a noun for me. It’s more of a verb,
maybe a creative force. I’ve experienced the spirit of life and love moving
through and around my life. I’ve looked upon the face of that spirit and it’s
always been when looking into the face of another. I’ve been privileged to use
my hands on behalf of that spirit and have also felt those hands upon me. And
it’s always been through the touch of another. This woman screamed blasphemy
and defiled the sacredness of every interaction I’ve ever had with my patients
-- not just as a nurse but also as a chaplain.

God’s work? No. God’s work is quiet and steady. The work of the
Spirit is constant and faithful and experienced in relationship with one
another. Hers was not God’s work. Hers was idol worship. And it’s the kind of
false worship that allows individuals to fly planes into sides of buildings, or
straight boys to drag young gay men through the streets and leave them tied to
a fence post. It is the dangerous certainty which results in swastikas being
spray-painted on the garages of one our local interfaith activists. It is the
challenging of those idols that leads to a silencing of the prophetic voice
through assassination or crucifixion.

Idols are False. One Unitarian Universalist
minister, in speaking about idolatry, said“The definition of idolatry is taking
the partial as the whole, confusing the partial with the whole. “

In the war against a
woman’s right to choose the idol is the sole focus of sentimentalizing of infants.
Their signs picture sweet (usually white) round-faced babies pleading not to be
stripped of their cooing lives. There is no space for the whole of complexity
of our human lives. Their idolatrous worship for the state of pregnancy and the
belief that babies bring nothing but good things blocks the space for
ambiguity, for doubt or for a real relationship with the woman. She can only be
considered through her potential identity as mother and the definition of
motherhood as the ultimate concern.It’s
false. What is true is that abortion is a reality and always has been.

The Reverend Tom Davis is
an ordained United Church of Christ minister who has chaired the clergy
advisory committee for the Planned Parenthood Federation of America. He writes
in his book, Sacred Work, “Looking
back I am struck by the lack of visible opposition to abortion access when it
was illegal. The Roman Catholic Diocese of Manhattan did not make any public
response to the formation of the Clergy Consultation on Abortion in 1967.” This
was a group of interfaith clergy folk who decided to network and help women
find access to safe abortions when it was illegal throughout our nation. He
adds that neither the “Southern Baptists nor any of the other religious
institutions which today vehemently oppose Roe v. Wade made any response to the
New York Times front-page article highlighting the work of the Clergy Council.”
I repeat, this is when abortion was illegal, a criminal act!

Let’s go back
farther;A 5th-century
papyrus speaks of using herbs and strenuous exercise to induce abortion.
Surgical techniques are described by the 2nd and 3rd centuries. During the
Civil War era advertisements targeted women with menstrual irregularities. The
language of such advertising,
"irregularity," "obstruction," "menstrual
suppression," and "delayed period" were understood to be euphemistic
references to the state of pregnancy. And on it goes up to today’s “abortion
wars”. It would take more time than we have today to go through the full
history of abortion and abortion laws. And many of you here were, and still
are, involved in the front lines of protecting the full scope of women’s
reproductive rights. In fact the Unitarian Universalist Association has made
Reproductive Justice a study action issue a few years ago.

My point, in relation to the topic of idolatry, is to illustrate the
falseness of an abortion-never
stance. The question is not whether it is right or wrong. History has already
shown us; it just is. And will always be. This becomes even more important as
recent laws inhibiting access to birth control covered by insurances nationwide
goes into effect. Already, in Texas,
a state that has severely limited access to safe and legal abortion, there is a
black market for one of the two medications necessary for medical abortion.
Pregnant women taking one medication and not both without medical supervision
and instruction are in for a rough and dangerous ride.

And let’s get back to our local physician who for years was the only one
who provided abortion services to Collier
County women. We had rocks
thrown through our church windows in the late 90’s when he held a press
conference announcing his cessation of abortion services, not simply because of
opposition picketing his house and making his life hell, but because he had no
colleagues willing to back him up and stand behind him in the face of this
harassment. In reality, many of those
doctors who not only wouldn’t publicly support him but spoke out against him,
provided pregnancy termination for their own private patients. You see, access
is everything. When you have money or insurance, you have access to privileges
poor and uninsured women don’t and the right to control one’s own reproductive
life is one of those benefits.Access is
everything and abortion never is a
myth.

A physician I once worked with shared the frustration and distress over
coming into his office one evening and finding his married, Catholic,
anti-choice partner performing an abortion on the partner’s pregnant
girlfriend. Access is everything. And abortion
never is a myth.

Planned Parenthood affiliates have a form called a “Special Consent for
Abortion.” These consents are for the women who, after standing on a picket
line in front of a clinic harassing others, come into the Planned Parenthood for
an abortion. These consents are for the women who are vehemently opposed to
abortion but earnestly explain why “in their case” it is necessary. And Planned
Parenthood provides the same level of service with the same level of respect as
they do for every other patient. Abortion
never, a myth.

Are these individuals bad and hypocritical humans? The snarky part who has
been treated poorly by anti-choice zealots in the past wants to say YES and
let’s deny them access. But the better person in me, the one who has experienced
both the giving and receiving of God’s work, understands that we are all human
with all our human frailties. We are imperfect creatures in a strange and
frightening world.

And that is what idolatry does. It provides a sense of control. It denies
the knowledge that we are vulnerable and unsure. As long as our idols have the
answers, then I know what to think and what not to think. The sad part is that
when we rely on false idols to cut ourselves off from the scary and unpleasant
parts of ourselves we also deny the opportunity for transformations, new
insights, new awareness and new ways of relating to one another.

A dear friend and colleague, while working for Planned Parenthood, founded
the Collier County Adoption Task Force many years ago. I was invited to sit on
the committee and was excited that it intentionally reached out to anti-choice
groups. The thinking was that while we disagree on abortion, we all agree that
adoption is a wonderful possible option when it comes to unplanned and unwanted
pregnancies. Many women considering their options are quick to dismiss
adoption. The Adoption Task force was aimed at identifying why this was,
raising public awareness about the adoption option as well as setting up
networks of resources for pregnant women wanting to place an infant for
adoption. The committee would be balanced in both pro-choice and anti-choice
‘camps’. Sounds great, right? Way more effective and proactive than praying on
the sidewalk or yelling at women coming in to pick up birth control pills.

What do you think happened? Within 2 years the anti-choice groups refused
to sit at the table with Planned Parenthood and other pro-choice members. I
believe there was a statement about working together with pro-choice groups
would be like sitting at the table with Nazis or the Ku Klux Klan. That is
idolatry at work. Unable to stand the discomfort of ambiguity or relationship
with a perceived enemy, the idolatry of the mythic abortion never is used to pull away to the safety of the regulated
world. The idol must be protected at all costs. I honestly don’t remember
whether the group disbanded or it became an anti-choice group. Either way, it
was a missed opportunity not only for each of the committee members, but also
for the recipients of the services which, as usual, are the poorer and
uninsured women and families of our county.

I was on call one weekend and the on-call phone began ringing.Being “on call” means one of the medical
staff carries a cell phone 24 hours a day for a week so that our post-abortion
patients can reach staff in case of emergencies. When the phone rings it always
creates a little anxiety before you pick it up. You never know what is on the
other end. In this case it was a woman who had been seen in the clinic for a
routine followup the day before. She was convinced her bleeding was abnormal
and was scared. Along with my reassurances, there were a number of calls back
and forth as she did what I asked her to do and I monitored her via the phone. A
number of times it was her spouse who got on the phone with me. Nothing was
working for her and her anxiety was rising. Finally I said, “You know, you
always have the option of being seen in the emergency room. If you decide to
go, I want you to call me first. And if you go, you need to let the staff there
know that you had an abortion.” She burst into tears and cried out, “I’m so
ashamed, I can’t tell them!” We spent a long time talking. This woman was the
mother of three children, had a spouse who had a vasectomy after deciding they
didn’t want more children and whether it was a failed procedure or too early
for the sperm to clear, had ended up pregnant again. She was in disbelief that
she was in the position she was. We talked about difficult and loving
decisions. How hard they are to make. I reassured her that it was okay to
grieve the loss of this pregnancy, because it was a loss. And that if she was
sad about it, it didn’t mean she made the wrong decision. We talked about her
three small children and how difficult it is with them sometimes but how much
she loved them. I assured her that she was not alone; other women had the same
sorts of feelings. At the end of our conversation she promised to call me if
anything changed or she went to the emergency room. This was a Saturday evening
and when I hadn’t heard anything by Sunday afternoon I called to check in. Her
husband’s voice was relaxed and upbeat, “she had a great night! The bleeding
slowed down, she showered and slept finally.” I spoke briefly to her and her
voice, too, was relaxed as she thanked me for my help. All I had done was to
have been present. I listened and responded to the fears and anxieties caused
by the cultural climate of anti-choice idolatry. I simply gave her permission
to be both relieved and sad -- to grieve the loss and affirm her family’s
decision. Together we explored the complex and complicated lives that all women
share.

And in that space, between the sad and the relieved, between the profane
and the profound, between the uncertainty and the knowing is where the spirit
of life and love are found. That is where God’s work gets done. As a chaplain I
sit with families as they make decisions about terminating life support for
loved ones. I talk with people who make decisions to stop treatments and allow
their natural end to occur. These are quality-of-life issues that individuals
make after considering the totality of their circumstances. They are heart
wrenching and gut punching, while at the same time beautiful and loving, as we
fragile humans reckon with the realities of our complicated lives. I can tell
you that women weighing their options in the wake of an unplanned or unwanted
pregnancy, or with a pregnancy with fetal complications, take their decision-making
no less seriously. And sometimes we make difficult decisions that we know are
right but are no less painful or complicated. Idolatrous thought would have us
believe that difficult decisions should be made easy by a one-way-only
approach. But human beings are wonderfully complicated. And life is mostly out
of our control, fragile and fleeting. Our lives are bittersweet and
sweetbitter. Life as an interconnected
and complicated web is way more fun to explore than the black/white, right/wrong
dualistic thinking of those who need false idols. And when we stumble and fall,
which we all do, webs make better nets to catch us than straight lines do.

That is why the woman screaming at me that she was doing God’s work had
such a profound effect on me. She’s wrong. Any of you who dons the yellow
escort vest every week and walks beside a patient entering the clinic; you’re
doing God’s work. And the staff that risks harassment and harm to provide safe
and effective health care to the poor and working women of Collier County; they
are doing God’s work. And for each and every donor who writes a check in
support of women’s reproductive rights; you are doing god’s work. And for every
one of us that votes against the false idols of anti-choice; we do God’s work.

And our work is not finished. As long as Viagra and men’s sexual health are
covered by Medicare and insurance, while women’s access to birth control and
abortion are made difficult; our work is not done. As long as women with money
and private insurance can quietly slip into private doctor’s offices while
poorer women must cross angry picket lines; our work is not done. As long as
religious institutions that support women’s reproductive rights remain silent
and polite; our work is not done. As long as there are pro-choice voters out
there not voting because they think it doesn’t matter; our work is not done.

Blessed be our brains;

that we may own our own power.

Blessed be our hearts;

that we may be brave and present
for those we love.

Blessed be our spirits;

that we may create a world of
justice for all.

Blessed be our knees;

that we may stand tall beside one
another in all of life’s messiness.

Blessed be this community;

that we may walk in the path
of our highest good.

Blessed be, blessed be, and amen.

The Idolatry of Anti-Choice, a sermon delivered at
1stUUPB on July 13, 2014 by the Reverend Jennifer S. Dant.