Dan Hodges is a former Labour Party and GMB trade union official, and has managed numerous independent political campaigns. He writes about Labour with tribal loyalty and without reservation. You can read Dan's recent work here

Everyone's laughing at the Left

Seal of approval: even this guy's laughing at Ed Miliband and the Left

A true, if rather uninteresting, story. Last night, about one in the morning, I woke up roaring with laughter.

Not a quiet titter but genuine, full throated laughter. My wife didn’t see the funny side, and threatened me with the spare room. Again. But I couldn’t stop myself. I was virtually crying.

When I calmed down I realised I’d been having a dream. It was a nocturnal replay of a real conversation I’d had earlier in the week, with a Labour MP. Some people dream of scoring the winning goal in the cup final, or dinner and a movie with Penelope Cruz. Saddos.

Anyway, in the conversation that bumped a 30-yard, injury-time screamer from my subconscious, we’d been discussing Ed Miliband’s interview on the Today program. Or we were trying to, but the MP couldn’t speak. He literally couldn’t get the words out. He too, was hysterical with laughter. “Did you hear”… pause… "did you hear him"… longer tearful pause… "I don’t agree with Glasman when he says it was all crap…" scream of laughter. Line goes dead.

I later found out that what my comrade was referring to was the priceless moment the leader of the Labour Party told the nation that he wasn’t completely crap. A bit crap, yes. But not completely. Despite what his most trusted advisors would have us believe.

Fortunately, my friend missed the part when Ed went on to argue passionately he wasn’t too ugly to be Prime Minister. Or the moment Gary Richardson, the BBC’s sports presenter, compared him to Jedward. If he hadn't, he’d have laughed so hard we’d probably be facing a by-election.

There have been times in Ed Miliband’s leadership when he’s been ignored. That’s not unusual for a new leader of a party consigned to the wilderness of opposition. There have also been times when people have disagreed with him. Like when he’s claimed we should try to understand the rioters or listen to the St Paul’s protestors, or said just about anything on the economy. But now people are openly laughing at him. And for any politician, that is the most dangerous moment of all.

At least, that’s what I thought until I was rudely awoken by my humorous convulsions. And then, at that moment, the truth dawned. People aren’t laughing at Ed Miliband. They’re laughing at all of us. The entire British Left has ceased to become a political movement. We are now a giant comedy sketch. A strange, surreal montage of Monty Python, Citizen Smith and the Thick of It.

On Wednesday I followed a Twitter debate between best-selling Left-wing author Owen Jones, and Sunny Hundal, editor of Liberal Conspiracy, recently voted the most influential Left-wing website in the country. They were debating the deficit, the cuts and Labour’s approach. Hundal’s advice, and I am not making this up, was that the Left should say nothing about them. Coming up with a credible line was just too hard. So we should not talk about the cuts at all. Labour should shift the debate to jobs, the NHS, fly fishing – anything. But a bit like Basil Fawlty, under no account must we mention the cuts.

These are not maverick voices. Or at least, not isolated ones. On Tuesday the Guardian commentator Seamus Milne, a strong supporter of Ed Miliband, popped up to warn the Labour leader his shadow cabinet was infected with “Blairite zombies”. Seriously. According to Milne, Ed Miliband has chosen to surround himself with the flesh-eating undead. “[Miliband] needs to pick a fight with a leading Blairite and win”, he urged. Precisely how poor Ed was supposed to do that with Douglas Alexander, Liam Byrne and Caroline Flint chomping on his appendages was left unsaid.

Even more alarming, this George A Romero school of politics represented some of the more rational thinking from the Left over the past seven days. Last Friday’s Guardian leader suggested a good solution to Ed Miliband’s troubles might be for him to go and spend some time looking at factories in Germany. Polly Toynbee condemned shadow defence secretary Jim Murphy for “out-nastying the Tories” after he took the socially regressive step of suggesting modest cuts to the defence budget.

Of course, in an ideal world, these would just be noises off. Nothing more than background chatter amid the serious work of political and policy renewal. But they aren’t. As Labour’s blank piece of paper remains blank, these are the voices that are shaping the debate. Ernest voices. Worthy voices. Comically deluded voices.

The Left remains in state of blissfully oblivion. Focused so intently on seizing and shaping this great political moment we have ears of tin. The mocking laughter we mistake for applause. The boos, cheers.

Once a political party, or movement, surrenders its credibility – on key issues like the deficit, welfare reform or immigration – then it cannot expect to find itself taken seriously. And once it’s no longer taken seriously then it’s only a matter of time before it becomes the subject of mockery.

That is what’s happening to the British Left. No longer hated, nor ignored, we have become figures of fun. Political jesters. Not a movement or a party, but a punchline.