01 November, 2006

Arrrgh. Stop Insulting Me and Calling It A Joke.

Come off it, folks. Four times this evening I've received messages from correspondents that say something along the lines of "wow, you have a heart. You can't be conservative."

First off, how would YOU feel if I said "Oh look--signs of a brain. You can't be a liberal!" Both are equally foolish statements that show a fundamental disregard for your fellow man.

If liberalism is supposed to be the bastion of compassion and fellow-feeling, then why is it the default position of so many liberals to assume that those of us who tend toward conservatism lack compassion? Why aren't you showing that valued compassion to your fellow human beings?

I've said this before, but it apparently bears repeating. Conservatives and liberals both want the same things. They just believe in trying to accomplish those ultimate goals--ensuring domestic tranquilty, providing for the common defence, promoting the general welfare--through different means. There are two valid branches of philosphy that have birthed conservatism and liberalism. Belief in one of those primary philosophies does not mean that you are any less human, any less loving or any less smart than the fellow on the opposite side of the aisle.

Yes, I think that we should show some mercy to Claudia Nunez. In spite of joviality in some correspondences, that doesn't make me a liberal. That makes me a human being who understands the vagaries of reality. Just in case you're a little too uncomfortable with my stance on Ms. Nunez, please note that I also think she should be heavily fined and put through the same bureaucratic red tape that other people have gone through.

Like it or not I'm a conservative. I hold some very conservative opinions. But I still love people. I still have a heart. So let's just agree to agree on the things we hold in common and disagree politely on our differences. That's how mature people do. And I know you all meant to be funny, but it kind of hurts my feelings.

Update 12:30 am. My Nyquil has kicked in. "Hurt feelings" is a wee bit strong. Perhaps I should say "it kind of befuddles me." That's more in line with how I truly think.

I intended to hurt no one's feelings nor insult anyone, however please do not try to tell me that conservatives want the same things as me.

There is an amendment that will be almost surely passed in my state next week that will void my personal will and testament. It will prevent me from having power of attorney documents drawn up, from sharing joint ownership of a home I share with the person I've been in a relationship with for longer than many marriages have lasted. If this amendment was simply intended to "strengthen" a horrible law that's already been on the books for the last 30 years, the first sentence would be enough to do it, but the second paragraph makes the intent clear. It's not about stopping me or anyone else from getting married, it's about desperately trying to hurt me in any way legally possible. It's a vicious attempt to cause pain to those they hate because hating is easier than trying to understand differences.

If it shows a lack of compassion to point out their lack of compassion than so be it. I'm not so certain it does though. Compassion should not be equated with being oblivious to observable fact. I see the yard signs in just about every other yard of people proudly proclaiming how much they hate me. These are the very same people who's businesses I patron, who's children go to schools funded by my tax dollars, who breath the same air and drink the same water as myself, who drive the same roads, etc. I have no hatred for these people, and wish everyday tha we could all live together in peace. Does it make me uncompassionate to objectively observe that they don't share that view.

I like you Kat, you don't seem to be like so many of them are. If my joke insulted you (personally) then for that I apologize, but you insult me when you suggest that I want the same things as these vicious, evil people who in just a few days will flock to polling places to grin with joy as they think about how much pain they will be able to cause me with that little mark on a ballot.

Clearly you want to preserve your family. You feel that the amendment in question will violate the sanctity of your family.

Looking at it from the flipside--walking a mile in the other guys' shoes--that's what these conservatives want. They feel that their families are threatened and they want to preserve their families. Now they are probably going about it in a poor fashion, but that's their goal. In many cases they may have never met a homosexual person in their lives (to their knowledge.)

You say you have "no hatred", then you proceed to call them "vicious, evil people". Clearly you hold at least some degree of ill will--partially justified and partially borne from assumptions about a position held by people with whom you have not directly spoken.

I can understand that the far-reaching implications of your state's full amendment are indeed punitive toward you and may impact your legal status as a citizen. I think you have every right to be angry.

We disagree on the motivation of the conservatives pushing this amendment. While I'll admit there are plenty of stupid people on all locations of the political spectrum, I'm going to suggest that most (at the very least) conservatives are at least intelligent enough to realize that my relationship poses no threat to theirs. Even operating on the assumption that you're correct though, it still illustrates my point.

I want to preserve all families while they want to preserve their family. That kind of selfishness alone really gets to the core of the "conservatives have no heart" idea from which the joke that inspired your post was born.

I also wanted to note that calling these people vicious and evil isn't demonstrative of ill-will. I'm angry for certain, but if anything I feel sympathy for them. I imagine that it takes a bitter, unhappy person to want to hurt another.

And please understand that (outside of Richmond, NOVA and some of Tidewater) VA Democrats are included in the "conservative" label. That's why I avoid using party titles. Also the Democratic Party is to gay people as the Republican Party is to the religious right. They throw us a bone every once in awhile just to get us out to the polls, but will stab us in the back just as easily because at this point, we really have no option BUT to vote for them.