Vikings Want To Go International

When we first heard the Minnesota Vikings want the ability to play home games internationally, we had to laugh.

“Oh, they’re so popular! This way all of their international fans can see them play!” Hahahahahahaha. The Minnesota Vikings. International fans. Hahahahahahaha!

As part of their pending stadium deal, the Vikings organization is asking for the ability to play four regular season and two preseason “home” games outside of Minneapolis.

National Football League spokesman Brian McCarthy said the language is all about the league’s ongoing attempt to expand the NFL to Europe and other countries. McCarthy said the provision is meant to boost the league’s “international series,” which in recent years has been scheduling one game annually in London.

The language, said McCarthy, is necessary “in the event the team plays in a game as part of our International Series.”

Yeah, swell.

What’s really going on here, is the Vikings want the ability to somehow expand their fan base. After all, if you were stuck with those cousin-fucking mouth breathers that call themselves Vikings fans, you’d want some different fans too.

If I were running the Vikings, and thank God I’m not, I’d shoot for games in Asia. Asian women are hot, skinny and they aim to please. It’s a big upgrade over those filthy heifers currently wearing purple and yellow.

It’s funny because you’re saying that and you’re from Wisconsin… see, it’s IRONY. I mean, what the hell is there in Wisconsin? Milwaukee is a shithole, and that’s about it. General consensus of anyone who has been outside of Wisconsin.

All ya got is cheese and drunk folks, paired with a lot of inbreeding.