I have tecently become very unsettled, as the mother and father in law have gone and bought the bungalow next door to our house.
We have lived here for 17 years, and are happily married with two grown up sons, (18 and 21 yrs).myself and my wife were on our annual holiday, when on 9th August the father in law rang to tell us the bungalow had gone up for sale next door, and they wanted to buy the house.
My wife (of 23 years) told him it wasn't what we wanted, and it was too close, (bearing in mind they bought the house 200 yards up the road three years ago)and the phone call ended.
Two minutes later the mother in law rang back, upset and crying, at which point the wife became sympathetic (understandably hearing her mum upset) and turned to me and shrugged her shoulders, at which point I told my wife to leave it at that, and we would sort it out when we got back.
The holiday took a sharp downturn from that point, it basically ruined our holiday.
Anyway to cut a long story short we got back and they had had an offer accepted on the bungalow.
We have now told them we will be putting the house up for sale and moving, a decision myself and the wife have taken together, after a lot of arguing and unrest between us.
This has not deterred the inlaws, and they are due to move in this month.
My wife and two sons would have been able to cope no problem with the situation, but there is no way I can contemplate living next door to them, bearing in mind my first house was next door to the inlaws when we got married in 1994, and we lived there for seven years before I had had enough, and we moved house.
I have never had a crossed word with either of the inlaws, but am losing all desire to have anything to do with them, which is not what I want because my wife loves them dearly.
Am I doing the right thing???
Nobody I have spoken to seems to have any advice for me.
Oh dear what a situation!

It's their prerogative if they want to buy the house next door to yours. Sure, maybe it's not the best idea in your opinion, but what can you do about it? They're paying for it.

You can try to talk them out of it... Is it costing them more? Are there excessive amounts of work that need to be done to the home? Any structural issues that you can see or make up? Termites? Alligators? Potential Sink Hole problem?

It's their prerogative if they want to buy the house next door to yours. Sure, maybe it's not the best idea in your opinion, but what can you do about it? They're paying for it.

Exactly. The decision to buy the house next to yours is theirs along. You have no control over it.

Selling and moving would seem a bit extreme except that:
1) You've already moved away from them once
2) They called you on holiday and upset it for you
3) They made your wife feel guilty and you back down because of the sobbing, meaning the highest fence in the world and the strongest boundaries will be ignored.

If you can afford it and you have a nice place to go, moving seems like a good plan under the circumstances.

What was their reason for wanting to move from 200 yards away to right next door? Can your wife explain that?

Honestly, I think your wife is giving mixed signals. She is telling you one thing but then telling her parents a different thing. Is she afraid to stand up to her parents? To me it sounds like she is still a child, unwilling to commit 100% to you, her spouse. I think she is your bigger problem, and I'd ask her to go to marriage counseling if it were me.

Do you mind me asking what they do that you find so unbearable that you can't live next door to them? (I couldn't live next door to my in-laws either... I'm not doubting you, but just wondering about what particular things your in-laws do).

It's their prerogative if they want to buy the house next door to yours. Sure, maybe it's not the best idea in your opinion, but what can you do about it? They're paying for it.

You can try to talk them out of it... Is it costing them more? Are there excessive amounts of work that need to be done to the home? Any structural issues that you can see or make up? Termites? Alligators? Potential Sink Hole problem?

Good luck to you.

Father in law is a retired builder, so he won't be put off by any repairs, seems like the only option is for us to move.

Exactly. The decision to buy the house next to yours is theirs along. You have no control over it.

Selling and moving would seem a bit extreme except that:
1) You've already moved away from them once
2) They called you on holiday and upset it for you
3) They made your wife feel guilty and you back down because of the sobbing, meaning the highest fence in the world and the strongest boundaries will be ignored.

If you can afford it and you have a nice place to go, moving seems like a good plan under the circumstances.

Yes, moving is the only option,other than staying put, and not being comfortable with the situation.