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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Sexual Surrogate Therapists - Can Christians Use Their Services?

Sexual Surrogate Therapists - image by MeganSchuirmann via Flickr

What got me into writing this article was the news yesterday I read on Yahoo about Helen Hunt's new movie, "The Sessions".

The film, formerly titled The Surrogates, was one of this year’s best reviewed films at the Sundance Film Festival, and is the first film of the year so far to get the Oscars buzzing. In the film, Hunt plays a sex therapist, which is being called her “boldest move” on the big screen thus far in her career.

At the risk of being viewed as naive, I'd never heard of this term until yesterday, although I've heard of sex coaches before - last month actually.

Think you're good at sex? The sex coach—yep, we said sex coach—will be the judge of that. He literally paces the sidelines of your bed, calling the plays and (gently) critiquing your moves. He wants to take you and your teammate to the promised land—and do you really want to argue with the Phil Jackson of boning?

Although there is now a movie promoting such services and people are going to become much more aware of such services, if they haven't already, it's still something most people don't avail themselves of.

Although use of surrogate partners is rare among patients of both genders, they are increasingly being used by women whose physical or mental health problems prevent them from enjoying a healthy sex life, experts say. In the past, such therapy was employed almost exclusively by men.

Movies such as The Sessions will create an increase in people using such services, not everybody will. Everyone knows that there are prostitutes and social escorts (who do more than just escort you), but not everyone goes to them. Just as Viagra is available for men, not all men who have sexual dysfunction use it.

What exactly does a sexual surrogate do?

Mare says: “I earn my living by sleeping with other women’s husbands or boyfriends. But I am in no way a prostitute as sex surrogacy is legal, as long as it is done in a therapeutic and healing atmosphere.

“People are paying for counselling and to cure their problems — not sex.

“I am helping improve and change the sex lives of thousands of men, which means I am also helping improve the sex lives of their wives and girlfriends.

The cartoon below that I received in my email many years ago, begs the same question as sexual surrogacy...

Now, the point of this post, is to discuss whether it's permissible for a Christian man or woman to have sex with a sexual surrogate in order to improve on their sex life and therefore to improve on their marriage?

Of the premise of such a question is that sex is the foundation of a happy and fruitful marriage. From a Christian perspective, Jesus said that this would tantamount to adultery. Actually the solution to a lackluster sex life in marriage can be cured by attending a Theology of the Body session.

According to Pope John Paul II's TOB, it's love that leads a fruitful sex life and not vice versa. So a married couple who lead a dissatisfying sexual life, has a problem in the spiritual arena rather than a purely physiological deficit.

Our world is saturated with sex but remains starved for love. Why? Perhaps as Waylon Jennings put it, we’re “Lookin' for love in all the wrong places, lookin' for love in too many faces.”