I'm only being honest! Facing the wrath of Craig Revel Horwood on a Strictly cruise

In Harlequins, the cruise ship Oriana's main ballroom, middle-aged and elderly couples are fine-tuning their cha-cha-chas and waltzes in preparation for the evening's dancing.

Other passengers stroll the decks, perusing a glittering display of glamorous costumes worn on TV. Welcome to early afternoon on Strictly Come Cruising - a themed cruise waltzing its way up the Norwegian fjords.

Strictly come sailing: P&O has a host of stars from the BBC show lined up for seven special cruises this year

Some nine series after the hit Saturday night BBC show started, Strictly is taking to the seas.

I am on one of two try-out cruises run by P&O, which has announced seven Strictly-themed voyages between May and October this year. They will last from 12 to 17 nights and visit the Canary Islands and the Mediterranean.

Each cruise features dance contests for passengers, performances by professional dancers from the show and Craig Revel Horwood, the judge with so many putdowns he should have been a vet.

The dancers on the first Strictly cruise, leaving Southampton on May 11, will be Ian Waite and Natalie Lowe.

Other Strictly professionals, including Kristina Rihanoff, James and Ola Jordan, Robin Windsor, Camilla Dallerup, Pasha Kovalev and Katya Virshilas, will appear on later voyages.

On our cruise, dance classes held each day help passengers to burn off any excesses from the all-day buffet restaurants, with instructors Julie and Simon Curtin on hand to encourage beginners. They began dancing themselves only in their early 40s, inspired by the second series of Strictly.

One evening, Oriana's 674-seat Royal Theatre is packed for a dazzling display of dancing by Kristina and Robin. After an energetic Queen-inspired sequence, Robin apologises to the audience, saying his fake tan always runs when he sweats.

Pulling no punches: Craig Revel Horwood is set to be brutally honest with dancing passengers

The following afternoon, Kristina and Robin are joined by Craig for a question-and-answer session. Asked about the 'Strictly effect', the caustic judge says: 'Strictly has made dancing butch. There's no longer any stigma attached to boys dancing - I'd love to see dancing on the National Curriculum.'

The Q&A sessions serve up delicious tit-bits and revealing anecdotes from Strictly, and Craig is more than happy to challenge the criticism that he has become a vaudeville villain, after comments such as 'cha-cha-cha chavvy' (about Patsy Kensit); 'couldn't put two words together' (Alesha Dixon); 'overwhelmingly awful' (Ann Widdecombe); and 'a lot of footwork issues' (Anita Dobson).

He says: 'I'm only being honest.I wouldn't want to be told I'm good if I'm rubbish. For some reason, the sportsmen and women on the show are much better at taking criticism.

'I don't know how the dancers are so patient with some of those celebrities.' Later, Kristina - originally from Vladivostok - says that she initially wanted to be a ballerina, and reveals that her passion for Latin dance comes from her time in Soviet-era Russia when all foreign music except Cuban was banned.

Then comes the dance contest for passengers.

The professionals join Craig on stage to watch competing couples waltzing across the floor.

One couple are octogenarian newlyweds who met through a dance class back in the UK. The audience applauds them enthusiastically, but not even this happy couple are spared Craig's acerbic comments.

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He says: 'Your combined ages may nearly be 160-odd years, my darlings, but it's clear you've wasted most of your lives.' His savage critique is greeted by gasps from the audience, but the TV judge has met his match.

'I'll have you know, young man, that we may have wasted all those years,' replies the elderly gentleman, 'but we've thoroughly enjoyed every moment of them.' The audience erupts into rapturous applause.

Travel facts

A 13-night cruise on Azura from May 11 to May 24 sails from Southampton to Madeira, the Canaries (La Palma, Gran Canaria and Lanzarote), Cadiz, Lisbon and back to Southampton. Prices start at £1,179 for a Vantage Fare including full board, afternoon tea, entertainment, most facilities and one of the following; on-board spending money, car parking in Southampton or coach transfers to Southampton.