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TOPFIVE.COM'S LITTLE FIVERS -- MOVIES
Hooray For Redmondwood...
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October 4, 2001
NOTE FROM ERIC:
Not much has happened since speculation
in the early 90's that Bill Gates had
interest in getting involved with a
motion picture production company...
The Top 9 Changes If Microsoft Ran Hollywood
9. Instead of the MGM Lion, movies open with Bill Gates
complaining about the Justice Department.
8. Turns out your $8.50 ticket only lets you watch the movie;
to actually enjoy it you need to fork over another $89.95
in licensing fees.
7. A federal judge demands that Braveheart be split into two
separate entities: The Parts that Guys Watch, and The Parts
that Girls Watch.
6. Star Wars, Star Wars '95, Star Wars '98, Star Wars
Millennium...
5. To see one Michael Caine movie, you now have to purchase
tickets to his entire suite of 238 films.
4. "Oh, thank you, Clarence -- I now see how the world would
be better if Steve Jobs had never been born!"
3. 10 bucks for a ticket, 5 bucks for popcorn, and 20 minutes
to download Windows Media Player.
2. Constant timeline shifts cause Pulp Fiction to crash halfway
through.
and the Number 1 Change If Microsoft Ran Hollywood...
1. "And the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor goes to...
the Paper Clip dude!"
[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]
[ www.topfive.com ]
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