WWF Excess

25.8.1

BLAH

wwf tv pg lv

Either the open is really short (and a lot of shots of the Excess logo
spinning around) or we're just seeing a small bit of it before we flip to some
black and white clips of 5/21, and Triple H suffering the injury that's kept him
away. I think this was recycled from Heat, from right after the injury. (:20 for
the clips)

"We are new, we are interactive, and oh yes, we are live" - and we
(well, they) are Trish (standing there doing what she normally does) and Coach
(talking.) No last names needed. I guess they're beaming this out from WWF
HQ, but they don't get around to mentioning it - it's a studio with a glass and
steel announce desk (high enough so they both have to stand for two hours) with
a big flat screen monitor behind, flashing the Excess logo and open when it's
got nothing relevant to show. As per regulations, Trish's breasts are partially visible
and sticking out. Trish gives Coach credit for working his way into her Saturday
nights. This is a special night - not only is the debut, but Triple H is
backstage and putting on a knee brace! This shall be exciting, or else. What
will Triple H say? Coach shows he has a memory (!) by bringing up Trish's
history with men in the McMahon family. Hey, do you want to participate in the
show? Well, it's too late, you dork, you're reading the recap. Next week, you
could try 1-888-Live-WWF (1-888-548-3993) or e-mail WWFexcess@wwf.com
.

Coach moves on, noting they have a lot to do and ONLY two hours to do it.
SummerSlam was the return of the Rock (Trish reads her lines well enough to tell
that she's reading her lines) and all eyes were on Kurt Angle. Kurt Angle and
Stone Cold at SummerSlam. You saw these stills (and end) on RAW (1:26)
Coach and Trish are sure Angle should've been champion. Then, the next night,
there was the Austin Appreciation Night. You saw this on RAW too. The bit with
Tazz and his shirt is edited out, for whatever reason - maybe that's not PG? Why
are we PG at this time of night anyway? (6:25) Trish makes the "milk
and cookies" joke and then tells us that she's got Kurt Angle to call the
show later on. Hey, didn't she have a thing for Kurt...nah. Triple H is here on
the other side of this break.

Live! Each and every Saturday night! Trish talks about just having surgery,
but doesn't say what it's for. I think I'd be guessing something else if WWF.com
didn't reveal it was ankle surgery. Trish sends it to the video package we saw
at the start of the show, but they take a beat to get there. This WAS from Heat.
(3:20)

Coach introduces Triple H and we take a nice long look at his video before we
get to see him. There's the Game himself and upon an offer of a hug from
Trish, he makes a breast joke, remembers what happened last time they got close
and begs off. Handshake instead. Coach asks him how he's feeling - Triple H says
it's going and it's great to be on TV again and get the buzz going. He rehabs a
lot and it's brutal but he's gonna come back faster than they expected. Trish
asks him how he felt when it happened, and he says it took a second for him to
realize, but he knew he'd be gone for a long time when it happened. He says he's
been out three months and will be back in three more, hmm. Coach throws it to a
shot of the scar on Triple H's knee and says it's twelve inches, which ends up
turning into a dick joke. Does that mean Triple H is a face again?

First caller is Craig from Florida and he wants to talk to Trish and Coach
and not Triple H, which amuses Triple H. Craig is nervous and tries to make a
joke (that wasn't totally bad) but gets to the most worthwhile question that we
might get out of this whole bit (assuming you care about the storylines) - with
Stephanie owning ECW and joining the Alliance, where does Triple H stand? Hunter
artfully dodges the question: "Where do I figure in when I get back? The
funny thing is, when I get back, we'll have to see where everything lies. But
when I get back, I'm gonna figure into the picture the same way I always figured
in it because I'm gonna be standing on one side of the ring and someone else is
gonna stand on the other side of the ring. To me, it's not gonna matter what
color of shirt they're wearing. It's not gonna matter which alliance or
federation they're in, it doesn't matter if they drink milk, guzzle a beer,
raise an eyebrow, I don't care who they are, they're all gonna have to step in
the ring with the Game. I know, when I come back, I'm gonna prove myself all
over again, you know what I mean? You start out at ground zero. I'm not looking
to be thrown in to something on the top - I'll do my thing, and I will prove
exactly like I did before, I'll go through everybody to prove I am the
best." Coach says they've got 4000 e-mails in the last hour and they'll go
through some of them tonight, as Triple H is sticking around for a while.

Hey, you know that opening we saw fifteen minutes ago? Let's watch it again!
Triple H hurt his leg, you see. You can call and e-mail! Triple H says he's seen
that footage a few times and it's a weird thing, because it was a massive injury
but doesn't look that way, not like a "Joe Theisman or Sid Viscous breaking
his leg." Triple H says the Walls of Jericho wasn't so fun. Coach somehow
segues into the "Shane buys WCW from under Vince" video package - this
is a replay of the package from that weekend of TV. (1:27) Our hosts and
Triple H discuss that night and the weirdness of Nitro on RAW and RAW on Nitro.
Coach talks about Triple H being in the WCW in the past and Triple H talks about
how much WCW sucked and this would be a great time for some footage of Triple H
in WCW but no. "There's all these old dinosaurs down there [he stole that
line from Shawn!] and they won't let the young guys move up and no matter how
much talent you have it didn't matter."

Next up on the phone is Michael from Baltimore and they won't let him say his
question but THE MAN won't let him say it, even though EVERYONE wants to know
what is, but THE MAN wants him to ask something. I'm thinking that the WWF isn't
dumb enough to put someone on who wants to ask a question they don't want asked,
but is dumb enough to think we might by this bit. The question - has Triple H
talked to Kevin Nash lately and what does he think about Scott Steiner or Nash
coming over. Triple H (a little off guard but quickly back into stride) says
he's good friends with Nash in his personal life and would like to see Nash and
others come to the WWF, because (and here he starts to go back in his last
answer) he wants to go through everyone to show that he's number 1. Coach segues
into a video recap of ECW and the WCW Alliance - I believe this is a shortened
version of the video package from that weekend, or maybe for Invasion. (1:11)
Triple H points out that Vince had the same look on his face when Stephanie was
revealed as the new owner as he did when Shane was revealed as the new owner and
that Stephanie and Shane are just doing what Vince did when he was on his way
up.

Moving on, it's time for Ask WCW, er, a plain old e-mail from John Hayes:
"Triple H: What are your feelings about Test and Stephanie smoothing over
their past differences? Are you worried the old spark between the two might
re-ignite? Thanks and good luck with your rehab." Triple H says they're
adults and they should get along - especially that Stephanie's Test's boss and
will always be his boss and if he does anything to her, Test will be fired and
beaten up. Since we're remerging the past, Coach cues up a still - Triple H
showing Trish a hammerlock (escape, actually) when Steph walks in. Triple H and
Trish talk about it being a perfectly normal wrestling move, and Trish says that
she's used it a few time since, thanking Triple H for teaching it to her. Triple
H says he only has one leg but he still can beat up Coach, so we move on. Coach
promises to ask Triple H about Stone Cold Steve Austin if you'll only stick
around...will you?

The disembodied voice of Chris Leary brings us product endorsements.
Let's go back to Invasion (or the night after Invasion for this video package)
to watch Steve Austin turn. Oh, wait, this is the RAW footage to, so this is
another weekend video package being reused. (1:13) So, what does Triple H
think? Triple H that Austin sold his soul to Vince to get the WWF Title, and
then he did again to get praise for his ego. Trish brings up that, at one point,
Triple H led his own invasion of WCW - this time, we do have a still of DX and
their tank. Triple H points out that was another time, when such stuff wasn't
done. Triple H brings up that last call and says he's a guy who does what he
wants when he wants.

Time for another e-mail. This time, it's r_dawg@home.com (Coach:
"Home") who writes: "What was the greatest moment in your
wrestling career so far?" Wrestlemania is up there, but retiring Mick Foley
is number one. He says it's sound harsh, but after all Mick Foley went through
and beat, he was the one to end it all for good. Coach brings up the WWF Title,
and Triple H talks about how that the one thing everyone wants is the WWF Title.
He says the belt is a "pressure cooker" - some guys are destroyed by
having it, some guys (himself) excel under the pressure, some guys (Austin)
crack. But everyone has to have it. Coach brings up Austin's comments about
Triple H after Hunter got hurt; Triple H says it's very easy to start talking
when someone's far away and under surgery, but it will be a different thing,
face to face. Triple H credits himself with Austin selling out to Vince in the
first place - Austin was scared after losing to Hunter the month before.
Everyone jokes about how close Triple H and Trish are standing, and we go to
break.

I'm just about to doze off now. I shouldn't have watched this and then again
to recap it.

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor - Booker T and the Rock from SummerSlam - this
is new but probably something that would have been done anyway for the weekend
shows. (1:40) Triple H says he was looking to see how the Rock would come
back after all that time off, since he's looking to do a similar thing, and the
Rock proved a lot. He's still no Game, but he's good - and so is Booker T.
"I got the Game name because I was the ultimate student of the Game. By
doing that, I watched EVERYBODY. I mean, I didn't just watch the guys in the
WWF, I watched tapes of everybody and Booker T was a guy I watched a lot. And I
saw what he was doing when he was in WCW and what he was doing there and, uh, I
was impressed with him there but I have been very impressed since he's been
here. The improvements that he's made and the adaptation (?) that he's made to
make to become a big star in this Invasion - it's remarkable."

Trish sets up the next e-mail (rock1p17@cs.com) "Are you planning
on doing any movies?" Triple H answers this question the same way he's
answered it before - if they come to him and give him a lot of cash, why not,
but he's not seeking them out, as he rather do what he's doing. Coach sets up a
"small" clip - midget madness. We turn the hour in the process - if
you were still watching right now and your name isn't CRZ, please find better
things to do on Saturday nights. (Like watching Jakked.) Have they even
mentioned the Kurt Angle bit to come since the beginning? (3:30) Triple
H: "Looks like someone put Booker T in the dryer! You know, he was the
first choice to do this show, but he was too short, so you couldn't see him over
the table, so they got you, Coach." Coach takes the joke and sends us to
ANOTHER video package - this time from Smackdown and that six man (4:45).

Time for another call. Peter from California says they'd love for him to have
a movie, but his question is if he's gonna to come back with everyone else fine
and the bullseye on his leg. Triple H says that leg and the rest of him will be
100%. Where's Hobbes when you need him? Of course Coach starts to talk about the
great phone calls and e-mails. Moving on, we discuss Triple H making a speech on
Tough Enough, and three people shortly after dropping off. Triple H says he told
them the truth and what they didn't want to hear. And if he'd known they were
living in a nice house and getting a trip to the Bahamas, that promo would have
been a thousands times worse and everyone of them would have quit. Too much is
being handed to them and they don't understand all the breaks they're
getting.

Trish talks about Triple H being a leader in and out of the ring and about
the commitment Triple H was talking about, leading into another e-mail, this one
from Marion Cravens (I think - they need to make the type font clearer and move
the picture over a small bit so everything's readable) who writes: "I
remember what you had said about commitment when you were talking to the contestants
on Tough Enough. At what point in your career did you know that this was definitely
what you wanted do?" Triple H says it was pretty early on, even back when
he was just watching it on TV and at shows on with his dad. Let's go back to
Tough Enough (2:23) and then to a break.

We're LIVE, though this show is dead. Coach mentions that each week, they're
going to show a classic match - they'll call it "From the Vault."
Professor Jonathon Coachman says that we can help choose by e-mailing
suggestions to the e-mail address, but since this is the first week, why not let
Triple H pick? Triple H thinks it has to have a great athlete in it - him, and
why not the first Smackdown ever - the Game vs the Rock, with Shawn Michaels as
ref, for the WWF Title. They send someone off to go fetch the tape, and Coach
asks if Triple H thinks he'll be able to get in to the shape he was in before
again? Triple H scoffs, than spontaneously and certainly unrehearsed, pulls of
his shirt (to reveal being in pretty good shape already) and does the water
spit. Triple H promises to be even bigger and better by the time he comes back.
Coach says "You just got Trish wet" but Triple H misses it and instead
suggests that if he's taking of his shirt, everyone should take their shirts
off. Trish pretends to want to but oh no they've got to take a break anyway.
Coach wishes Triple H well, and says we'll hear from Kurt Angle and hear about
Jeff Hardy later.

Slim Jim Hardcore Ladder Match Of Last Sunday.

Coach says it wasn't a good week for Jeff, and Trish is very concerned, hmm.
Here's a replay of the Swanton Bomb through the table. Jeff Hardy has EXTREME
bruised ribs. He's always extreme and he lives for the moment, but he'll be out
for several of them. Rob Van Dam had a close view of the whole thing, so let's
talk to him now - why is Coach congratulating an Alliance member on holding a
belt? RVD (let's play his thirty second video over and over again in the
background throughout this) says the ratings are about to go up. RVD says he was
very worried about Jeff, and hopes he gets better. On the other hand, RVD
realizes that Jeff was planning to do that to him, so he can't be too sad. RVD
talks about hardcore matches being tests of pain and endurance. (Ahhhh, this is
a hardcore show, now I get it.) RVD excels because he can withstand a lot of
pain. RVD says it's been a great experience to be on WWF TV, and plus, he's
Hardcore champion so he can legally kick chair in people's faces. Coach doesn't
ask RVD if he's facing Raven before RVD hangs up, but does hype it as possible
for RAW.

Jeff Hardy takes chances and rides motorbikes. Wait, Coach needs to stall a
little bit - here we go. THIS aired on Superstars a few weeks back (I've been
told) - reusing it makes sense because it fits in the context of this week's
stuff (and some of the Superstars was good enough that it needed more people watching
it) but still it's yet more recycling. Even when Jeff Hardy rides shirtless, he
rides with a helmet. Anyway, he's got a motorcross set up in his backyard (I
guess) and he rides it and sometimes not to well. Matt Hardy comments - Lita
watches. Jeff gets bored with the setup and decides to crate a Volcano - don't
ask, but it's fire and Jeff takes a bigger risk setting it up and lighting it up
than jumping it. I guess if he really messed up the jump it could have been
dangerous but he would have had to try if he really wanted to get singed. (4:12)
Trish produces Jeff "on fire." Coach urges people not to try that at
home.

Time for "From The Vault" - 08/26/01,
Triple H vs the Rock for the WWF Title. This isn't the first Smackdown (that
was in May), but you already knew that. It's the first Smackdown when it became
a series, though, and nearly two years to the day. It is fitting - this was the
beginning of the last two hour series they tried (which seems to have worked
out), and maybe that'll give this show some luck - it might need it. No effort
is made to cover up the various people who are no longer around (Chyna, Shawn
Michaels, Jerry Lawler), but for some reason this is clipped - they
couldn't find time for a whole match on a two hour show? Check out the chain
link shirt that Scott Steiner made into his hat. With intros, this runs exactly
(7:00) and the hosts reminds us they're doing this every week. Vote for
Gillberg vs Essa Rios! Coming up next, Kurt Angle calls in - vote for Kurt Angle
vs Essa Rios!

RC Milk Truck of Last Monday. How does RC feel about supporting a competing
beverage like that?

Kurt Angle is on the phone. Angle is Des Monies, Iowa, for tonight's
WWF house show - he beat Rhyno in the main event. Flashback to footage of Steve
Austin doing the beer truck run to the ring and hosing down Vince, Shane and the
Rock, and Angle wanted to give him some of his own medicine. Kurt says it felt
as good as when he won the WWF Title. Coach asks if Kurt was playing the dummy a
couple months ago just to draw Angle in (not using those words.) Angle:
"Well, as far as my character [Coach fidgets] was concerned, people don't
know how to take Kurt Angle. Obviously, I did have something up my sleeve - I
wanted to be the leader of the World Wrestling Federation. In a way - yes, yes I
knew what I was going on. I was kinda winking and doing my things and pretending
I didn't know what was going on, but deep down inside I knew where I was going
and where I was headed, and my goal was to win that WWF World Title." Trish
talks about Kurt's book - it's coming out next month. A lot of it isn't WWF
stuff, because he's been there such a short time. It is his life story and he's
really excited about it.

We've got a call from Stephanie from New Jersey for Kurt - well, maybe. There
we go, we can hear her. Stephanie asks how different it was from the Olympics to
the WWF - Kurt says it was a tough transition, and he got it really quick
because there were so many people who made him look good. "Sports
Entertainment is the most brutal form of sport in the world." Coach asks
what's the funny thing that's happened him to him on the road - Kurt Angle says
it's hard to even begin. Kurt says he has fun, he misses his wife but he has fun
- no one has to grow up. He enjoys what he does and hopes he keeps doing it.
That's it for him.

Coach starts talking about how great the WWF Magazines are (this seem familiar),
especially the photo shoot in RAW Magazine. Here's some of the photos of Stacy
Keibler - we can pick it up now. Even better, we can see a segment about this
photo shoot.

Stacy Keibler photo shoot for WCW RAW magazine. I'm having
too many flashbacks. All they need to do is put stuff for sale on the desk and
I'm back there all over again. I CAN'T ESCAPE! NEVER! They explain how Keibler
got into the WWF in the front place - nice use of archival footage of the Nitro
Girl contest, than Miss Hancock (captioning says Miss Mancock - I don't know any
more.) The photographer says she goes from "girl next door" to
"really sexy", and I bet Jake says those things aren't mutually
exclusive. Also, legs. She has them. TWO. (2:52)

Bobby is too busy checking out the photo spread when we come back, and Scott
has to go on with the show without him. BREAK. Thank god.

Trish and Coach end up with dumb sexual innuendos. Tajiri and Regal will be
on Heat - what will Tajiri have to say? What will Tazz have to say when he
guests on this show next week? Live! Thanks to all the people who showed up, all
the people who e-mailed and and all who called. That's it.

They didn't break double digits with people calling or e-mailing in, did
they? Lots of recycled footage - and lots of it more important things that you
can't break out every week. Nor can you bring in a guy who hasn't been on TV
three months. Nothing worthwhile storyline accomplished. The one promising
match-type thing get clipped to save time. The only interesting answer to a
question (and break from the normal mostly-kayfabe stuff) was Kurt Angle (accidentally?)
talking about how people were reacting to his character. And then the whole WCW
Worldwide feel without the hope of a good (and complete) match to save it but
twice as long.

Don't get me wrong - they could make it all worthwhile - JR promised there'd
be changes even before the first episode aired. And the last forty minutes were
the best part of the show, if you managed to stick around that long. And maybe
Trish will seem less scripted with practice - she's improved since her first
debut.

But even then, I don't think it's gonna be worth anyone's time. They did
nothing here that you couldn't already get by reading the interviews they post
on WWF.com, or picking up one of the WWF Magazines, or listening to Byte This.
And that's strange, because given this day and time , you're mostly gonna be
getting hardcores who already do those things and why would they stick around
for two hours of something they already get?

I'm a optimistic person, so I'll probably give this another shot next week.
But if all it's gonna be is a hybrid of Byte This and the two departed shows, I
dunno if many others will.