With the RNC Convention just ending in Tampa, America's eyes have been opened to the aching beauty of a city lousy with strip clubs — but what about those of us stuck in cultural backwaters with hardly any strip-based institutions at all? Happily, there's an answer. Now any vehicle with a suitable tow hitch can become a mobile strip club thanks to this revolutionary mobile stripper pole!

For only about $400, this should pay for itself within one good night of parking-lot hopping and a willing, under 200 lb (the pole's maximum supported weight) stripper of your chosen gender!

For many Escalades and Navigators, this will be the key to finally finding the car's ideal use. And that's easily worth a $5 shoved in a thong.