Tamar Braxton Opens Up About Her Miscarriage, IVF And Fertility Struggles

“I didn’t know how I was going to get out of my bed for a couple weeks.”

Tamar Braxton isn’t one to hold anything back especially when it comes to being on “Braxton Family Values.” In a recent episode the singer shared that she suffered a miscarriage after IVF and is battling with fertility issues.

“Early on, there was a time where I was like, ‘I don’t want kids! I’m all about my career,’ and my gynecologist said, ‘Here’s the thing, Tamar: You never know what life is ever going to throw you, so you should really consider freezing your eggs.’ Vince and I talked about it, and when I went for my initial IVF—when I was just going to freeze my eggs—I didn’t know that I had infertility issues. I was blocked on both sides as if I had my tubes tied. I was 34 when I found this out.:

She added: They don’t know what causes that. The devil? Ha! It’s just my makeup. The doctors didn’t think I couldn’t have kids; it wasn’t going to happen [the natural] way. I didn’t even know that until I went to go freeze my eggs. But I was cool with it, because at that time I didn’t even want to have kids. Now, I would have started at 28, 29, 30, but you don’t know until you know.”

Braxton swears that her three-year son Logan was her “miracle baby,” but admits she “hated” being pregnant:

“I wanted an apple martini the whole time. I craved it. [Pregnancy] was hell. And then you fall in love with this kid ― this crazy miracle ― and all of a sudden want more. He has enriched my life so much.”

Of course, she wanted more children and tried IVF, but suffered a devastating miscarriage.

“I didn’t know how I was going to get out of my bed for a couple weeks,” Braxton said.

“But you just do, you know? The same choice you make to be courageous and go through this process is the same choice to get up and keep going. It was hard because I still had to work. But after the miscarriage, I wanted so badly for the other things in my life to work.”

“She’s pregnant with twins in her late 30s, and that’s such an amazing blessing. And for myself, I want the Patridge family. I just don’t know how they’re going to get here. I’m very nervous about going through that whole process of IVF again, because having a loss after going through it is really devastating. It really is a loss you can’t explain.”

While she does have hope for the future, Braxton stresses at certain times she feels “like a failure.”

“But this is still a struggle. And sometimes when I’m alone, I feel less than a woman. Like a failure. And it’s very sensitive and it’s very hard to talk about and you don’t want to share it with a lot of people when you’re going through it. Vince and I didn’t discuss it with anyone. I didn’t even tell my mom because you feel like if you tell somebody it’s bad luck. I just wish people would be more sensitive and maybe ask, ‘How can I help you? Is there anything I can do?’

However, she still plans to expand her family with husband Vincent Herbertand refuses to give up: “Everybody in the world can give up on you, but you cannot give up on yourself.”