Writer. Filmmaker. And such.

If You Need Anything…

He never turned down the opportunity to say this to a family member, friend, or acquaintance in need – which was surprisingly more often than he cared to admit. Though the passing of a loved one was the most common used of this phrase, opportunities presented themselves in all walks of life. He sometimes slipped and said it when it wasn’t even necessary or relevant. It had become that much of a habit.

But each time he muttered it, there was an underlying, dark little secret: he had no desire to do anything for anyone. In fact, if push came to shove, he knew he never follow through with it. As a result, it was only a matter of time before he was exposed for being the fraud that he was. He was surprised that no one had taken him up on his offer yet.

In the meantime, he got the satisfaction of offering a goodwill gesture…but with minimum output on his part. Despite this awareness, he still couldn’t help but say it. It helped that there was a low risk that anyone would actually take him up on his offer. (How often does anyone actually take someone up on this offer?)

As much as he knew he should have quit while he was ahead, sure enough, the next time the opportunity presented itself, the words fell right out of his mouth: “If you need anything, just let me know.”

And once again, he would get away with it. Deep down, he knew that eventually, the law of averages would work against him.