Hello, this is Oslo calling

Here we are again. I expect (hope) pookee is also typing along. I suggest two windows. Also, for one night only, this entry is public. (for the duration of the songs)

Here comes the

I am equipped with a bottle of wine from the just-left student teacher, and a pen on a pulley, but we'll say nothing about that for now. I've seen nothing of this year's entry, and managed to miss the semi-finals. Here's hoping it's better for being fresh...

Last year's winner.... Oh it's this *Merrily sings along*

Ah, the hosts. Mmmm, less said.

If you want some intellectual stimulation whilst this is all going on, you could do worse than this. At least it's relevant.

The phone lines are opening before the songs this year, finally doing away with the myth that this has anything at all to do with the music.

Azerbaijan And in chimes Iain - "Director's a leg man..." Bookies favourite according to GN, if so the Meaningful Power Ballad could be big this year. "Drip drop, drip drop..." describes today at least. Keeping with Russia's idea of a couple of years ago - the dancer doing his thang alongside. General wonderings what the dancer is adding.

Spain Always good for singing in their native language. "Oh dear Lord, clowns" comments Iain. I can't help but notice that my wine is vanishing rather quickly. We suspect Spain don't want to win. Did someone just run on from the audience and join in? Security!! That's the most excitement you'll get from this song.

Moldova Another mad violinist, cos that won last year donchaknow. Fusion at its worst - club meets sax meets dance meets Europop. Is this still going?

Cyprus First sign of an actual song and a band. Why is his guitar held together with duct tape? Actual song. Could do well.

Bosnia and Hertz First rock number of the night. Just Bad.

Belgium My brother knows the guy who wrote this. Too good for this, and I'm not just saying that.

Serbia This is the sort of thing that used to appear on Eurotrash back in the day. "If this is popular in Serbia things must be worse than we thought" chimes in Iain.

Shock news, Spain are getting another chance.

Belarus Genuine singing stuff with meaningful hand waving. First costume gimmick of the night. Will do well.

Off for a moment, my Mac Book has developed a new feature that makes it stop working. Iain is firing up his PC.

Ireland Missed most of it due to Mac trauma. Seemed ok.

Greece Clue was in the song title really. Didn't they enter with this last year? ION news strange laptop whining has stopped. I blame Farmville and its evil use of flash.

Right, I'm back, this time on a PC.

UK Waterman and Co haven't moved on really. Shame he's flat at the end.

Nice little interview with GN there.

Georgia Life really is different on a PC isn't it. Sorry, yes, paying attention to the songs. Small Google Chrome freeze now getting in the way. This will be the year of the hardware trauma. In the meantime the song continues, didn't we have a "Shine" a while ago?

Turkey I feel the muse is leaving me. More wine! Iain thinks this guy is dressed like Darth Vader. Was that the Stig angle-grinding his arm off? Too strobie. Migraine-inducing/10 (tm Sue).

Albania First song that we've decided is something else. Possibly "Raining Men". Iain has finally hit the booze, whisky for medicinal purposes natch.

Iceland I usually like their entry. Not sure they can afford to stage Eurovision but suspect many will vote for them just to spite them for the banking thing and the ash cloud. Wow, she's a big unit and that dress isn't helping. Best of europop, could do well.

Ukraine GN describes this as baffling. It's all just a bit angst really.

France Always, but always, sing in French. Apparently this is the French World Cup song, which either adds to it or not, depending on your point of view. Certainly saves money on having to write two catchy tunes in a year. This one seems to have actions... I say vote for this just so France have to host it next year.

Romania Another country who are usually good for a catchy pop tune. They've not disappointing this year either. Is that piano real? Oh dear, I'm bobbing along.

Russia Like or loathe according to GN. Good to see they're all wearing their Christmas jumpers. Points for the band and the general tune, not sure about his voice though.

You know, you're on the own for the voting. How many have we had so far?

Armenia Oh good, a traditional instrument. Nice apricot shot at the start there. Another soulful dancer, this time with a drama group. Iain paying more attention than me notices that the stone turned into a tree.

Germany Taking it seriously this year according to GN. Seems like a lovely girl, but she isn't doing much singing. Deemed Radio 2 fodder here.

Portugal 0/43 to date. I think this one has been ripped off from Disney. Nuff said.

Israel Best eyes of the evening, but I always was a sucker for big brown eyes. Brave singing in Hebrew as no-one is going to have a clue what the lyrics are. Good performance though, at least he can sing, and "Whoaaaaas" are universal. Will do well if people get over their political dislikes.

Denmark It's true, it really is "Every breathe you take". Crossed with Abba. Will get plenty of votes as everyone likes it but can't remember why. My favourite just because it is so familiar. Iain suspects that the lead male isn't using his own hair, possibly to avoid the lawsuit winging its way over from Sting/Bjorn.

Spain, again The return of the clowns. So that other chappy (Mini Me) who appeared half way through last time wasn't supposed to be there? Oh no, here he is again. I'm confused. The suits are still way too shiny.

Ok then, I'll leave you to the voting. It'll be too depressing to comment on. Enjoy the rest of your evening.