Lenny Allen

“Get your drink off the table Fred,” said Eric. Fred gave a c***-eyed smile back. “Aw fine you big puss.” Fred promptly downed the entire bottle and set it down on the tray of a passing waitress and turned back to his other poker buddies. The other three assembled for the weekly poker game watched this with an amused fascination. “Alright, alright enough shenanigans, who’s turn is it this week?” “I think its Eric’s turn this week Cal,” added Stu Geoffman, another familiar face at the weekly poker game. Calvin turned back to Eric, “OK Eric it’s your call so what’s the crazy wager tonight?” Calvin was talking about the gangs weekly Crazy Wager. Every week the four friends assembled for a game of poker, and then they would pick a different player every week to set a weird condition for the others at the table to follow. Eric thought for a moment, and then spied a shady looking fellow at the end of the bar. The man in question was talking to the waitress that Fred had deposited his bottle on. “Loser of the hand has to sock that guy in the face.” Fred laughed hysterically, Calvin tried hard not to, and Stu just cocked an eye at him. The poker game commenced and they soon fell to talking about the biggest topic talked of anywhere in that day and age. Lenny Allen, serial murderer. Slowly all the boys got together all the facts they knew about him. He had killed a record 78 people. He robbed them of everything they owned. He made fast getaways. And most importantly, the cops had absolutely zero lead on where he was. “I hear he’s been hanging around these parts,” said Stu. “Naw, I heard he went turned tail and ran to Canada,” added Calvin. “Enough talk,” put in Eric, “show your cards.” Calvin won with a straight. Stu came out with a pair of kings and a pair of tens. Fred scraped by with a pair of sevens, and it was Eric in dead last with a pair of twos. Eric winced when he saw the cards. Stu started cracking up. “Give him a big ‘hello’ from all of us Eric!” Eric rose up slowly and walked casually over to the man. The man only gave Eric a slight nod of acknowledgement. Eric returned with a like gesture, and then punched him straight in the jaw. The man fell to the floor and was silent for a while. This will sure be interesting. Eric thought to himself. After a second the man looked at Eric inquisitively. The waitress he had been talking to was totally stunned. “P-P-Paul?” she stammered out. “You OK?” Eric asked as he propped the man up quickly. “Err, yeah I’m fine,” he answered. “Sorry about that I was just-“ “It’s cool dude.” The man, apparently Paul, shook his head a bit and seemed to collect himself. “Yeah it’s fine,” then turning to the waitress, “Annie I got to go, call me when you get off OK?” Eric felt awful for simply hitting the guy like that. He could see his buddies at the table behind him doing everything conceivable not to burst into laughter. “Man I’m really sorry for hitting you like that,” said Eric, just as Paul was heading out the door. “I’d like to make it up to you.” Paul looked inquisitive for a moment. “Just come around my place at about 2:00 and I’ll grill us something.” Paul still looked a bit dazed and he was obviously debating inwardly about going to this stranger’s house for ‘some grilling’. “You can even bring your friend Annie over there if she’s free” “Alright,” said Paul, “I guess that’ll be fine.”

So sure enough they were both at Eric’s house the next day and Eric was at the grill making burgers for two while the two of them shared stories of college and high school. Eric had already told the full story of what happened last night to Paul, and Paul took it smiling, while Annie laughed through the whole thing. “So did you hear about that Lenny Allen fellow?” Eric asked him. “Yeah he’s a real piece of work, so I’ve heard.” Eric grinned, “I just can’t think of someone who can just go on killing that long, seems like you would have to rob a bank or something just for a change of pace.” Paul laughed, “Yeah he’s probably his own little summer pirate ship down in Florida for a vacation!” The two of them laughed like old friends. Paul took a long sip of beer and sat back a moment. “Stu was crazy enough o suggest last night that he was hanging around here.” Paul’s face took on a graver tone, Annie was smiling. “Well I wouldn’t doubt it,” Paul started, “they say he moves around the states like a snake, and he strikes like a rattler when he does turn up. No one’s caught him up to this point, that’s for sure. They say that anyone who mildly annoys him ends up as target practice for his real targets. Do you know what else the rumors tell?” Paul’s voice was getting more and more dramatic, “They say his girl was the start of it all. They say she’s worse than he ever could be, and she’s the one that drove him to it every time.” Paul had a huge grin on his face as he pulled a cleverly concealed knife out of his shirt sleeve. “You Eric Verger have more than mildly annoyed me.” Paul kept smiling, but Eric kept his cool. “So you’re Lenny Allen?” Eric said with incredulity. “What do you think smart one? I’m going to make you pay for that sock in the face no matter whose fault it was.” “Oh, OK good then I got the right man.” Eric said coolly. Paul’s face contorted. “What?” Paul’s raised arm soon fell back down on the picnic table and after that all Paul simply flopped onto the table with a groan. Annie rushed over to Eric and grabbed him. “Was I good honey? Was I really good Lenny?” she asked with a giggle. “Baby you were perfect,” then turning to the dead Paul-Lenny, “I think I finally got a good method of taking out these stupid imposters. They’re ruining me, I swear. Their starting all these crazy rumors and giving me a bad rep. Like I would actually flat out knife someone in their backyard. Who do these people think I am? Ah well, that brucine did him pretty good. I guess all is well that ends well! For me anyways!”

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