the times and perils of a single mum
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Monday, April 17, 2006

I'VE had a couple of funny internet moments in the last 24 hours, one was a deja-vu moment courtesy of a conversation I had with the Young Wan five minutes before seeing this post by Bernie.

I had just been moaning that despite being up and about for two hours the Young Wan had ignored the pile of clean dishes waiting to be put away and added new dirty ones to the sink. My point was that at 14 I shouldn’t have to tell her to do these, she should see them and do them because they need done.

Then I read on Bernie’s post about what Young Wans should be able to do by particular ages and I laughed heartily. Even the Young Wan said ‘cook a meal, I couldn’t cook a meal if you paid me!’when she read it. And if I needed this hammered home anymore than that I just witnessed it when I had to talk her through toasting a bagel for lunch.

By age 7, they should be able to make their sandwiches, set the table and wash up. By 10, change the bed and operate the dishwasher. By 13, cook a meal, change a fuse and bleed a radiator. By 14, use the washing machine, sew on a button, clean out the drain in a sink, change a lightbulb.

For me, I know the Young Wan is well capable, though to see our flat you would never realise that, particularly her room, my room, the whole bloody place.

This has more to do with absolute laziness though than competency. She will step over stuff in her doorway and it has become a leisure pursuit for me to watch and count to see how long these items remain. And I can tell you they never bother her at all, just me.

We just do too much for them. Even at times I think I expect too much, and then I realise that is a Mummy-guilt thing more than anything else. I had jobs to do growing up and so does she.

So when the dishes have been washed and are harbouring more germs and filth than before, I will go mad. I’ve said it before but when she first started washing dishes they were done to perfection, now the only thing done is me.

(Thanks Bernie I know what I'll be writing about this week for the column:).)

The other internet moment was last night when someone emailed me while I was on line asking if I had a pic. Maybe the wine dulled my senses but I hadn’t a clue what they were talking about thinking they had emailed from my flickr account.

No, that wasn’t it at all.

Turns out after some exchanges he stumbled across my blog and decided to chance his arm and email me. So I checked and saw that he had actually stumbled across my blog by searching for ‘Mums in bed’. For his efforts he found a pic of my doggie and daughter’s feet poking out the bottom of my bed.

So I emailed back laughing. He was more than gobsmacked that I had found this out. Needless to say I doubt any of this is what he expected.

Some of those ages and chores seem way off. I would think that the average 10 year old could throw on a load of laundry. Of course, my fella can't so why should a child be able to? At my advanced age, I would have no clue how to change a fuse and I don't even know what bleed a radiator means so I wouldn't be expecting mine to do that at 13. Course my two oldest are practically useless so I'm not the best parent to say anything.

Ha! By 13 cook a meal?! I'm 27 and as per my last blog post, I can't cook a meal yet! I forced my parents to eat charred mass of yuck! So maybe count your blessings on that score Red Mum..who knows what the Young Wan would force you to eat!

These lists of what people should be able to do by whatever age... aren't they good for nothing? Usually they are absolutely boring. I'd much prefer a list of what someone is able to do. People can do so many things that it forces the writer to think about what they are saying. When you have to choose from 100 things someone can do, it makes you think...