Miami Dolphins 2015 Season Preview: It's Finally Time To Get Excited About This Team, Maybe

Holy smokes it's finally upon us. FOOTBALL SEASON OMAH GAHH. More to the point, the Dolphins are back. And this time, they're armed with a heck of a whole lot of analysts and experts picking them to actually, seriously, for-real make the playoffs this season. Some have even predicted them to win the AFC East, which is bananas when you think about it.

And for the first time in probably ever, all of America is rooting for the Dolphins to do just that what with that the Patriots wallowing in their Cheatgate fiasco. You can be the hero America wants — nay NEEDS — Miami Dolphins. Don't let America down!

So why all the excitement? Well, there are plenty of reasons. So let's stop all this dillydallying already and dive right into our annual Miami Dolphins Season Preview.

So why is everyone so damn excited?

Because, for the better part of a decade Dolphins fans have been all

But now after this offseason, Dolphins fans are all

And why is that, specifically?

Two words. Ndamukong Friggin Suh.

That's three words.

WELL THAT'S THE LEVEL OF MY EXCITEMENT!

Oh.

GAH.

Calm down.

Sorry. It's just that the Dolphins gave Suh the biggest contract ever to a defensive lineman ever and for good reason. He's a beast of a man. And he's expected to make the defense one of the best in the league by simply being so dominant. His name means House of Spears, for cripes sake.

Wow. That is exciting.

I KNOW!

Tell me more about this "being excited about the Dolphins" thing.

Well, on the other side of things, the team has loaded up the offense with some strong targets for Ryan Tannehill. They got him a fantastic pass-catching tight end in Jordan Cameron, and added Greg Jennings from the Packers — one of the most precise route running receivers in the league. They also drafted beast-mode wide receiver DeVante Parker with their first pick.