Fried chicken needs to feel bad. You need to crunch through that outer coating, you need to feel like you're committing a sin.

His method for preserving the "sinfulness" of chicken while lowering the calorie count involves poaching and then flash-frying. But you could also just eat a salad while kicking an old lady. Or an egg-white omelet while avoiding jury duty. Or some Special K while taking candy from a baby (just don't eat the candy). Or you could just accept that a food's caloric value has no impact on your personal morality — but then, that's way less fun than whipping up a yummy Tax Evasion Yogurt.