So, watching Amon and his Equalists attack the probending championships in republic city just got a lot more unsettling after Paris. Thanks, real life. That scene wasn't upsetting enough to begin with.

To whom it may concern: if you’re reading this document, it means you are about to learn of the greatest kids show ever made.

I am talking, of course, about Eerie, Indiana, a show aimed at roughly the nine-to-fourteen year old market, which aired nineteen episodes between 1991 and 1992 before being stolen by aliens because it was too good for this world. Or maybe it was cancelled because the idiot network didn't know a good thing when they saw it.

If you liked Twin Peaks, if you liked Carnivale or American Gothic, or if you liked the movie The 'Burbs (and seriously, why would you not like The 'Burbs?) you will like Eerie, Indiana.

The premise of Eerie, Indiana revolves around 13-year-old Marshall Teller and his nine-year-old best friend Simon Holmes. Prior to the start of the show, Marshall lived in New Jersey, “just across the river from New York City. It was crowded, polluted and full of crime… I loved it. But my parents wanted a better live for my sister and me, so we moved to a place so wholesome, so squeaky-clean, you could only find it on TV.”

Are you intrigued yet? You should be. Shortly arriving in Eerie, Marshall begins to notice that his new home town is… different.

“What’s wrong with this picture? The American Dream come true, right? Wrong. Nobody believes me, but Eerie is the centre of weirdness for the entire planet.”

Oh dudes, I couldn't even watch the last couple of minutes of Game of Thrones tonight - as soon as Ronan started melting down his blingage, I knew something horrible was coming, so I covered my ears and shut my eyes and basically waited until the screaming stopped and I heard the end-credits theme start playing.

Was it totally gross? Is he alive? I have this phobia of shit happening to people's faces - I've seen and read Watchmen dozens of times and always looked away or skipped the page where Rorschach pours chip fat on that prisoner. I nearly fainted during the Avatar episode with Ko the Face Stealer and again during the Doctor Who episode with the thing in the telly that sucked people's faces away. Can someone who's read the books please warn me if I'm going to have to deal with face-meltage next week?

Oh dudes, I couldn't even watch the last couple of minutes of Game of Thrones tonight - as soon as Ronan started melting down his blingage, I knew something horrible was coming, so I covered my ears and shut my eyes and basically waited until the screaming stopped and I heard the end-credits theme start playing.

Was it totally gross? Is he alive? I have this phobia of shit happening to people's faces - I've seen and read Watchmen dozens of times and always looked away or skipped the page where Rorschach pours chip fat on that prisoner. I nearly fainted during the Avatar episode with Ko the Face Stealer and again during the Doctor Who episode with the thing in the telly that sucked people's faces away. Can someone who's read the books please warn me if I'm going to have to deal with face-meltage next week?

I'm watching "The Ember Island Players" and I have to say, "Did Jet just die?"/"That was really unclear" is one of the most all-time hilarious reactions to seeing the death of a friend re-enacted in front of you. I can only hope that if I ever see someone I know get crushed by a giant rock, and then see it dramatised for entertainment value later, I will take the time to be bitchy about how ambiguous it is.

In other news, where did all the good Shego/Kim slash go? There used to be loads of it but now all I can find is rubbish. Sigh. This is the problem with getting nostalgic and revisiting old fandoms.

I'm watching "The Ember Island Players" and I have to say, "Did Jet just die?"/"That was really unclear" is one of the most all-time hilarious reactions to seeing the death of a friend re-enacted in front of you. I can only hope that if I ever see someone I know get crushed by a giant rock, and then see it dramatised for entertainment value later, I will take the time to be bitchy about how ambiguous it is.

In other news, where did all the good Shego/Kim slash go? There used to be loads of it but now all I can find is rubbish. Sigh. This is the problem with getting nostalgic and revisiting old fandoms.

OH MY GOD, Generation Kill, you guys! Is that not the gayest thing ever? I am no longer even a little bit fazed by the idea of Eric from True Blood and Ziggy from the Wire being epicly gay for each other. I'm reading porn for it right now in another window, and I totally don't care that this is the computer Mama Froodle uses for work. I might just save it on her favourites list so she can enjoy it later.

ALSO! Why is there not a TV series of Daddy Winchester's character from Watchmen just going around shooting and raping and burning people and being awesome and beautiful and unconcerned about it? I feel this would be an excellent thing to have. If they can't get the rights to the Comedian, they should just give Jeffrey Dean Morgan a bullshit name and a gun and lots of leather and send him off to do Comedian-like things on camera and avoid paying royalties. COME ON OH GOD I WOULD WATCH IT EVERY WEEK AND BUY THE DVD WHEN IT CAME OUT! Even if it was an HBO thing where the DVDs are ridiculously expensive, I WOULD PAY FOR IT! PROBABLY ALMOST FULL-PRICE! MAYBE! IF I HAD VOUCHERS FOR HMV OR SOMETHING!

Oh, the ending of Avatar is also quite epicly gay. I would be more enthusiastic but compared to DADDY WINCHESTER SHOOTING A PREGNANT WOMAN FROM PURE GROUCHINESS it loses its splendour. Sorry, Zuko. You are just not grouchy enough for me.

Also, was I the only one who got a mental image of Colin Farrel yelling "Of course it does! The Vietnamese!" every time it showed Daddy Winchester in Vietnam? Colin Farrel knows everything. Stupid Canadians and racist dwarves should pay attention to his wisdom.

Anyway, I'm going to go work on the script for the pilot episode of EDDIE BLAKE: THE SERIES, which will be beautiful and coming soon to a television screen near you, though possibly under a non-copyright-infringing name. Probably you should all start petitioning HBO to pick it up.

OH MY GOD, Generation Kill, you guys! Is that not the gayest thing ever? I am no longer even a little bit fazed by the idea of Eric from True Blood and Ziggy from the Wire being epicly gay for each other. I'm reading porn for it right now in another window, and I totally don't care that this is the computer Mama Froodle uses for work. I might just save it on her favourites list so she can enjoy it later.

ALSO! Why is there not a TV series of Daddy Winchester's character from Watchmen just going around shooting and raping and burning people and being awesome and beautiful and unconcerned about it? I feel this would be an excellent thing to have. If they can't get the rights to the Comedian, they should just give Jeffrey Dean Morgan a bullshit name and a gun and lots of leather and send him off to do Comedian-like things on camera and avoid paying royalties. COME ON OH GOD I WOULD WATCH IT EVERY WEEK AND BUY THE DVD WHEN IT CAME OUT! Even if it was an HBO thing where the DVDs are ridiculously expensive, I WOULD PAY FOR IT! PROBABLY ALMOST FULL-PRICE! MAYBE! IF I HAD VOUCHERS FOR HMV OR SOMETHING!

Oh, the ending of Avatar is also quite epicly gay. I would be more enthusiastic but compared to DADDY WINCHESTER SHOOTING A PREGNANT WOMAN FROM PURE GROUCHINESS it loses its splendour. Sorry, Zuko. You are just not grouchy enough for me.

Also, was I the only one who got a mental image of Colin Farrel yelling "Of course it does! The Vietnamese!" every time it showed Daddy Winchester in Vietnam? Colin Farrel knows everything. Stupid Canadians and racist dwarves should pay attention to his wisdom.

Anyway, I'm going to go work on the script for the pilot episode of EDDIE BLAKE: THE SERIES, which will be beautiful and coming soon to a television screen near you, though possibly under a non-copyright-infringing name. Probably you should all start petitioning HBO to pick it up.

Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.

So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!

Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*

OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!

Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!

I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!

I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.

It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!

Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!

*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.

Thank God it is the weekend! I am going to eat approximately fourteen-five cakes and try to push aside the sense of dread that has been steadily growing in me since I learned that an agent universally referred to in Helpermonkey meetings as "that fucking Cave Troll" will be joining my team on Monday. SO UNFAIR! Seriously dudes, you might think I'm being harsh, but if I was to show you her picture, I guarantee the first words that sprang unbidden into your minds would be "WHO'S THAT TRIP-TRAPPING OVER MY BRIDGE?!" Ugh. If I disappear, she has either eaten me or forced me to take my own life in order to avoid the horror of dealing with her Cave Trollish fucktardery.

Anyway, moving on, here is a list of things that are beautiful:

I have awesome werewolf shoes. They are awesome. I cannot walk in them, but this is hardly a deciding factor when rating their werewolfy beauty. I like to put them on and admire them while I eat my tea. Then I take them off when I need to get up, for their heels are very high and skinny.

So NoTORIous is wonderful. Yes it is. Yes, it is. SHUT UP NO JUDGING!

Twist is possibly the most perfect movie ever. I cannot express how much more complete my life feels after seeing Beautiful Nick Stahl perform oral sex on his own brother.*

OH GOD I LOVE BOSTON LEGAL! I sort of a little bit knew this before, just in a casual passing way, but after watching all five seasons in a bit over a month, it's like my love has been BORN ANEW!

Also, OH GOD THE OLD STAR TREK SERIES! I got it and Boston Legal and I wasn't going to get the movies because I was like, "Probably that is enough William Shatnet," but clearly I forgot the most important rule - there is never enough William Shatner. Trufax. Anyways, then I watched that first episode with Khan in, where at the end Kirk randomly gives him a planet and Spock is like, "I really hope this doesn't come back to haunt us in some horrible yet totally forseeable way," and Kirk is all, "Don't be crazy, this is my best plan yet - I mean, when have eugenics ever hurt anybody?" and Spock is like, "Um..." and I was like OH MY GOD I MUST WATCH WRATH OF KHAN OR PROBABLY I WILL CATCH ON FIRE OR SOMETHING ELSE BAD!

I am watching Bones. OH ZACK! I love you so much. I wish you would come back to us - Zombie Wendell and Vino Delectable are not as much fun as you. I just watched the one with the dead astronaut dude, and Zack is a teensy bit doubting about the existence of aliens, and Hodgins gets really snippy about it and is all, "You should know this, being half alien yourself," and Zack makes this really awesome bitchface that is awesome and bitchy. Also that bit where he gives some random facts to Evil Cam and she is all, "How did you know that?" and he replies "My knowledge is vast," without even the slightest hint of irony, OH ZACK HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME?!

I have the last season of Avatar, yay! I haven't watched it yet, so shush, but I bet it is lovely. I wish I was a flying bison. I would totally bite people and trample their houses and then fly off laughing meanly.

It is Thursday. The weekend is here! Release the hounds! And by "hounds" I mean "cakes"!

Also I have Watchmen! I didn't watch it yet, but it has Daddy Winchester smoking a cigar! What could be finer?!

*Actually, it was more implied, but still, incest AND Beautiful Nick Stahl being beautiful and anguished? That's pretty beautiful.

Dudes. Dudes! I just got back from seeing incandescens, where there was cake and the final episodes of Avatar and an awesome musical version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a really bizarre Teen Titans two-parter that involved the bastard lovechild of Winston Churchill and Stephen Hawkings (hahah, I know I made at least two of you die a little inside just from reading that) and, and!

A musical version of Jekyll and Hyde starring David Hasselhoff!

I haven't watched all of it yet, but you guys, it's so utterly wrongsick I cannot express it with mere mouthwords. The Hoff gurns and sings atrociously and gropes random corpses and wears a waistcoat that is made of utter fail. I am saving the rest of it for next weekend, when HAG will be over and we can combine forces to give it the scorn-filled adulation it deserves, but in the meantime, I leave you with this thought:

I would still rather watch that than have to sit through How To Lose Friends And Alienate People again.

That's right, Simon Pegg. You now rank lower than the Hoff on my list of human beings. I hope you're proud.

Dudes. Dudes! I just got back from seeing incandescens, where there was cake and the final episodes of Avatar and an awesome musical version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a really bizarre Teen Titans two-parter that involved the bastard lovechild of Winston Churchill and Stephen Hawkings (hahah, I know I made at least two of you die a little inside just from reading that) and, and!

A musical version of Jekyll and Hyde starring David Hasselhoff!

I haven't watched all of it yet, but you guys, it's so utterly wrongsick I cannot express it with mere mouthwords. The Hoff gurns and sings atrociously and gropes random corpses and wears a waistcoat that is made of utter fail. I am saving the rest of it for next weekend, when HAG will be over and we can combine forces to give it the scorn-filled adulation it deserves, but in the meantime, I leave you with this thought:

I would still rather watch that than have to sit through How To Lose Friends And Alienate People again.

That's right, Simon Pegg. You now rank lower than the Hoff on my list of human beings. I hope you're proud.