Hydrofracking 'experts' may be overlooking the greatest gas source of all

Just say the word “hydrofracking” and people’s jaws tighten. Why the fuss? I’ve used similar technology on a personal level for decades. Chemical-laden fluids regularly penetrate the deepest recesses of my body, resulting in massive releases of natural gas in a highly confined space. Yet each morning when I wake — typically alone on the sofa — the sun still comes up, at least in those parts of the world that have sun.

My point is that before we jump to conclusions about hydrofracking imperiling the environment, someone from a major energy company needs to contact me with a lucrative offer. Only then will I know for sure how I feel about this fascinating technology.

But give me some credit. To learn more about the subject, I attended a presentation last week at Onondaga Community College sponsored by the Technology Alliance of Central New York . The purpose of the event was a non-political discussion of the technology of hydrofracking, which involves using pressurized water and sand to fracture subterranean rock and release billions of dollars in stock options. According to studies, gas deposits buried deep beneath the Finger Lakes region, when coupled with naturally occurring emissions from the Jordan-Elbridge Central Schools Rift, could light every faux-Victorian lamp at the Skaneateles Dickens festival for the next 1.4 million years.

The presentation at OCC began with Scott Cline, a geophysicist whose background is in the petroleum industry and a proponent of “responsible” hydrofracking. Clearly, he’s a big deal because his e-mail is drscottphd@aol.com. In case you missed that, Dr. Scott has a doctorate. Here’s hoping we see the same level of redundancy in hydrofracking safety regulations — if there are any.

Actually, Dr. Scott, Ph.D., seemed like a good guy. It’s just that he wore the look of a man who gets yelled at a lot — the same expression a husband has when his wife confronts him about a $657 Visa charge from “Tara’s Love Palace.” Not that I’d know.

“The predominant risk is surface spills and leaking pits,” Dr. Scott, Ph.D., explained, causing my own pits to leak as I contemplated fleeing a liquid methane-and-formaldehyde fireball of death during a MacKenzie-Childs barn sale.

Another speaker, Ben Haith of Palmerton Group, an environmental consulting company, assured the audience of about 50 people that all toxic chemicals related to hydrofracking would be stored in approved containers and that probably no houses would explode.

Finally, there was Dr. Peter Black, a professor emeritus at the State University College of Environmental Science and Forestry. He acknowledged that he knew little about hydrofracking, but that didn’t stop him from giving a lengthy lecture. He quoted Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, Isaac “Wayne” Newton and other “A” list celebrities, building toward his main point that the planet is already too hot and we’re foolish to pursue hydrocarbon fuels from any source.