Monday, October 23, 2006

When I Am King

Picked from today's grab bag of ideas is Annette's suggestion: The art of living famously.

I wish I could report on this first hand, but unfortunately, I can't. At least not yet. But I've been mentally preparing myself for it since I was a small tyke and running around the house saying things like, "Things will be different when I'm King..." or "You just wait until I'm running the world..." Somewhere in the back of my head, I've always known I would hit the big time. So, as I've said, I have had plenty of time to imagine the scenario of how I will live, famously.

At first I wanted a house so big I needed a golf cart to get from one end to the other. I've since downgraded my needs to a nice English country home that may require a bit of a jaunt to get from one end to the other, but not quite so immense a motorized vehicle will be necessary. I will of course have help. I can barely keep my semi-detached home clean, I can hardly be expected to clean a country home. Besides, what's an english country home without help? At the very least I will require a steward, a butler, a housekeeper and a cook. And a few sundry stable boys and maids and most likely a gardener or two.

I shall spend my mornings making my money--up early to write til noon. At which time I will then go for a walk about my property, through the well kept gardens to the fields and meadows beyond. Then I'll make my way back to the stables and take my one of my horses out for some exercise. Then I'll come back and eat a meal prepared by my chef who has devised a recipe for tators that is both low cal and tasty. And the man always has warm gingerbread with whip cream on hand and can whip up a chai latte at a moment's notice.

From time to time friends and family will pop in for a visit, but due to the size of the house, I can write in one wing and keep them in another. We can meet in the middle, a drawing room well appointed and most likely kid-proofed.

I will spend a month between finishing one book and starting another traveling to all the places I've dreamed about -- Scotland, Italy, France, Prague, Germany, Russia. I'll swing by Hollywood to take part in the premieres of my books that were made into blockbuster movies (hey, that staff does not come cheap!) and hobnob with the likes of Christian Bale, Paul Walker, Johnny Depp and Clint Eastwood. They will all find me fascinating and wish I'd stop by more often. The papparazzi will trip over themselves to snap my picture but I'll remain elusive, a mysterious figure they never quite get a bead on, therefore making it much easier to shop Rodeo and the boutiques of London undisturbed.

But, in the end, you'll find me back at my English hideaway (if one can indeed hide a country house), where I will spend my days doing what I love--devising plots, creating characters, and telling their stories. After all, that's what got me here.