I've written yet another rage song...in a sense I wish I didn't write these all the time, but on the same token if I didn't, I'd go crazy with all the pent up anger inside. I tried to write it from the point of view of someone who has been pushed to the breaking point and just snapped, but they still have a sliver of humanity left that tells them that it's wrong, leading to the last verse where they wish someone would stop them. Also, the first verse was written specifically because of my day today, which was going fine up until a few hours ago when everything turned to shit.

On another note, the title is a combination of the names of two Iced Earth songs - Boiling Point and Days of Rage.

"Boiling Point of Rage"

today was alright, it was going fineI didn't have any problems on my mindbut suddenly it took a turn for the worsesometimes I swear that I've been cursed

now my heart is racing and my brain's replacingthoughts of happiness, with visions of erasingevery last motherfucker who dragged me downthe only hope of escape is to get out of town

[chorus:some people cut themselves to ease the painbut cutting you will heal me just the sameI don't wanna kill but I've lost all controlI'm boiling with rage and it's taken it's toll]

I'm a murderer at large and I'm on the looseI won't stop 'til I'm hanging from the nooseIt's strange how everything can go astrayafter suffering through just one bad day

now my heart is beating and my brain is screamingto see every last one of you dead and bleedingI've been holding it back for far too longI can't help myself, even though it's wrong

[chorus]

I still feel remorse, but I'm on a crash coursedispersing my vengeance with brutal forceI'm begging and praying for death's releasesomebody please save me from my own disease

This next one is almost exactly what the title says it is, but not quite. I didn't come up with it right off the top of my head (well, not all of it anyway) since I took the time to think out some lines and just tossed others in as they came to me. Secondly I did go back twice and change something I'd written, which I obviously couldn't do in a freestyle, so this is far from what "real" freestylers do, but I had a good time with it anyway.

"Freestyle #1" (in case there's more later)

don't know what you tryin' to do, you ain't gettin' throughpondering my indecision like a rebel without a cluebetter than a rebel without a cause, gotta take a long pauseto try and justify his strict adherence to your lawstake a roll on the dice, pray that the numbers sufficebefore you give it all away like ritual sacrificehand it over to their gods, the poor suckers and sodsthey take but they don't give it back, they're fraudsmeanwhile you're looking for a break, something to takeyou stumble into fortune but find it's gone when you wakespun your gold into straw, stripped down to the rawleft with the humiliation and the thorns in your pawthey're leaving no trace, like a ghost with no facethey don't knock, they just break and enter your placeit's all gone, it's all wrong, it won't be longbefore you're singing their song like their pawntellin' all of the world, all the boys and the girlsabout the new masters while you watch their flag unfurlthey're causin' you a hazard, but what does it matter?you'd believe 'em if they said the earth was flattera reminder: the earth is round, and a few million poundsyou're testing the soil with your head in the groundfollowed by an early grave, you're too late to savethey'll put you under the roads you helped paveno one even cares, and the ones who do don't dareto say a word and cause some tempers to flarethey got us where they want us, with no fussnow we're all merrily riding on the short buswe don't know any better, and they're unfettered'cause we follow every single rule to the letterit's time to refuse, this situation? defusedon't become another nobody they can abusebreak out of your shell, fight, give 'em hellreturn us to the days before tragedy befell_____

I also wrote this just now. It's a rage poem, interesting enough. It's to tell people to get out of my way, because people seem to have a tendency to be in it quite often. >_>

"No Loitering"

I have one simple rule, but of vital importanceI ask that you follow it exactly in accordancewith my request to clear me a suitable pathor else face punishment, namely my wrathI'll try to be polite and ask to excuse meI'll forgo kind manners should you refuse mefor your conveninece, once more I'll repeatget out of my way, or else you're dead meat

I love that last one! Once again you've shown some great use of rhyme, and, rather than being a general rage poem, it's about a specific situation which I suspect quite a lot of us have experienced, which makes it easy to relate to.

You may have made a few edits to the freestyle one as you were writing it, but it's still very impressive. I'd struggle to come out with something coherent and rhyming without spending hours, if not days, thinking about it.

Apologies for the late comment about the other rage one. I've been unwell and didn't feel up to doing anything that required actually thinking about anything. I have to confess that it's getting tricky to find new things to say because you've written several of these now. But as always it's well thought out and expressed, and the rhymes sound apt and natural.

Firstly, I hope you feel better. I know exactly how you feel, when I don't feel well I don't want to do anything that makes me think either. Hell, sometimes I get that way anyway. XD

And now, I have this to post:

"Sneak-A-Poke"

an assassin creeps up on you from behindsuddenly in your chest you will finda blade, now you're dead, it's no jokehe caught you off guard with his sneak-a-poke

This is inspired by the Assassin's Creed games. In the games, if you attack an enemy from behind with your sword, you will instantly kill them by running them through. But the way the characters do it, it looks like they're just poking their sword right through the enemy with little effort. It's kinda funny to see, so after a while I started calling it a "sneak-a-poke" due to the fact that it appears to be a poke, and it's done from behind, so it's sneaky.

I also threw this song together with some lines I came up with, which I modified for the chorus and then wrote the rest of the song around it.

"Anywhere But Here"

[chorus:it's a shame to see that you don't careso I make a wish upon a falling starto take me away, I don't care whereI'll go anywhere but where you are]

I wrote a song and a poem a couple of days ago that I was going to post when I finished another song I have an idea for, but that song is still just an idea, so I'm going ahead and posting the others.

The first is a song I wrote after listening to the album Reach by the band Eyes Set to Kill. I wanted to write a song with a definite metalcore/screamo vibe, which the band gives off, so I wrote the first two verses but ended up getting stuck. I wasn't initially going to actually name the song after the band or even reference them, but I was able to come up with a chorus that worked fairly well using their name, so I just went with it. It's also worth noting that I sometimes have difficulty writing songs with this rhyming style, where every other line rhymes instead of every line. I only mention that because this song and the previous one up there both end with a bridge that goes back to my usual style, because after writing a few lines with the alternating rhymes, I run out of steam pretty quickly. Anyway, here it is:

"Eyes Set to Kill"

lies, degenerating ties that bind usand bring us closer to our own demisecaptured in our mind through the lenseshidden right beneath our very eyes

domesticate, and suffocate our lungsas they fill full of stifling hateexhale it violently from your lipsas we reach a bitter mental state

[chorus:my eyes are set to kill tonightburning red with a savage lightI cannot cope, I cannot thinkI cannot return from the brinklost beyond the shadows of my mindeyes set to kill have become blindI cannot move, I cannot feelI can't decipher what is real]

lies, disintegrating lives around usas the truth is muffled by our crieswe only whisper silently in tonguesand when they don't hear we wonder why

communicate, and demonstrate identityour false messiah sent to propogatebreak through their sullen deceitretaliate, find our truth to reinstate

[chorus]

[bridge:eyes, communicating liesour innocence has diedthe truth was right in front of youbut you were too weak to see it throughcries, aloud we wonder whyit's too late to even trythey lead us with their dominating willopen your eyes, now they're set to kill]

[chorus]

_____

And, much like my last few posts, I have a song and a poem to post. This one has a funny backstory, actually. I wrote an entirely different poem, but after I got to thinking about it I realized that I'd pretty much ripped off a poem that a friend of mine wrote. Not word for word or anything, but the entire central concept was the same, as was the most repeated part of the poem, so I scratched that. The funny thing is I read an article (on Cracked, hilariously enough - I learn more there than I did in school) that talks about how our brain will subconsciously give us credit for something if we don't remember where it actually came from, which I imagine is what happened - I wrote the poem and took credit for it because I couldn't place where I'd heard some of the words before until 3 days later. So instead, I present:

"Subconscious Plagiarism"

if I steal your work I must apologizenext time I'll try not to forgetto make sure I'm not stealing wordsfrom someone on the internetI blame my brain for giving creditwhere credit was not duebecause this poem that I'm writingwas probably written by you

Got a couple more things to post. This one was inspired by Wednesday 13's songs, mostly his Murderdolls stuff, but I worked some references to his solo work in too. I used bits and pieces of his lyrics but tried not to make it a complete rip-off.

"Nice To Meet You (Now Die)"

look out, motherfucker I'm on a rampagepaint the town red with a sawnoff 12-gaugeyour blood will run red, your bones will breakI'll dump your dead body in a cold, dark lake

[pre-chorus:run motherfucker, if you wanna survivepaint a target on you, leave none aliveput a bullet in your head right between the eyesviva los violence, see the bodycount rise]

this ain't a game, got nothing up my sleeveIt's just me and I'm K-I-L-L-I-N-Grun motherfucker, or face my aggressionmeet my two best friends named Smith & Wesson

[pre-chorus and chorus]

gimmie gimmie bloodshed, gimmie lovely redI don't care, 'cause I only want you deadI'm crossin' you all off of my blacklistone more motherfucker who shouldn't exist

[pre-chorus and chorus]

____

Also, this:

is there anyone out there, can anyone hear me?or am I talking to myself when I'm down on my knees?can anyone help me, bring me back from the deadcan somebody please erase these demons in my head?

[chorus:stuck in a place I call home, I've never felt so alonelike a king without a queen, sitting by an empy thronestuck in a place I call home, but it's far from my ownwill somebody save me, or is my fate written in stonestuck in a place I call home, and I'm stuck here alone]

is there anyone out there, or am I talking to the wall?will I find my own savior, or hit the ground when I fall?can somebody guide me, bring me back towards the lightor have I damned myself into this everlasting night?

[chorus]

is there anyone out there, to save me from this hell?or are you just a hopless dream inside my wishing well?can somebody take me from this place that I call homecan anyone save me from this lonely path that I roam?

[chorus]

is there anyone out there, to tell me that I'm wrong?can somebody, somewhere, save me before I'm gone?

____

I don't even have a name for it because it was an attempt to get some emotions out of my head. I guess it kinda worked, seeing as I wrote the previous song after this one.

Once again, sorry for taking so long to respond. I did take a look at the first of these last 3 posts when you first posted it, but decided to wait until I had more time before replying, and then forgot (and didn't even noticed the second post *blush*).

You've got a very nice selection here. I think the ones where you've used the alternate-line rhyme scheme for the verses and adjacent lines for the chorus and/or bridge work very well.

I don't know Eyes Set to Kill (well, I've heard of them, but I don't know their music), but I like your song, even though I can't reference them when comparing the style (well I could - I could find them on Youtube - but I'm supposed to be cleaning the kitchen so I shouldn't spend more time on here than I have to right now. )

All of your songs here give the impression that they're reflecting genuine emotions, whether melancholy, as in the last one, or violent. I'm always attracted to emotional music and, even though there's no actual music to go with these, I find myself getting drawn into the feelings expressed in them.

Finally, I have to say that my favourite out of all of this batch is your poem, Subconscious Plagiarism. I think that one is beautifully written. It's simple and clear without being simplistic, the rhyme scheme suits it well, and the sentiment behind it is something that's easy to relate to. Would you be willing to let me put it up on the main site?

Glad you liked them. ^_^ And, of course, you can put Subconscious Plagiarism on the main site, I don't mind a bit. After all, what writer doesn't secretly want more exposure even if they claim otherwise?

there I was hangin' out on the poverty linewhen a kind old soul came and dropped a dimethen later that day down at the TV shopI saw the face of the man, he runs Microsoft

while I was begging for scraps at every mealhe was signin' off on million dollar dealsthe rich get richer while the poor stay poorone day he's gonna find this note upon his door:

[chorus:ya think it's so great that you're a big spenderand you wipe your fat ass with legal tenderI got a message for all you corporate clownsI'm gonna hit Wall Street and burn it down]

there I was working hard as a movie extra'cause I ain't pretty enough to face the cameraI've had enough fake smiles from so-called stars'cause the scene where you die is my favorite part

I'm gonna tear down all your spoiled livelihoodsI'm gonna take a flamethrower to Hollywoodyou'll open up your ears to the voice of dissentwhen we rise up to overthrow the one percent

[chorus:ya think you're so great 'cause you're in filmsand ya got enough money to suit all your whimsI got a message for all you stuck up prickswe're gonna tear down Hollywood brick by brick]

you think you can impress me with wads of cashin the rat race you won the million dollar dashI'm gonna make you see how the other side liveswhen you give nothing, you'll get what you give

'cause the way that you live is just so obscenefeeding the helpless to the corporate machineall the money won't matter much when you're deadit's gonna go to your snot-nosed brat instead

[chorus:ya think you're so great with your private jetyou better fly as fuckin' far away as you can getI got a message for everyone in the one percentwe're gonna ruin you and bleed you of every cent]

_____

And this one deals with the (mostly American) stereotype that all heavy metal is Satanic. It's mostly older people, but younger people who were raised on pop trash and/or soft rock and country will believe it too.

"Modern Heretics"

everyone bar your windows and lock your doorsthe heavy metal freaks are on the show floordraped in their black leather and pentagramswe're safe in the knowledge that they're all damned

now I can't help but to notice itthat everything you say is a load of shityour way of thinking is erratic'cause you claim that we are all Satanic

[chorus:to hell with the devil I'm a rock 'n' roll rebelI put my faith in heavy metalto hell with the devilI've got no score to settleI seek truth on a higher level]

you think we worship the beast, number 666that we've never knelt before the crucifixwe're on a one way trip straight down to Hadesand none of us know how to treat our ladies

now I can't help but to find faultthere's no truth in the things you've taughtyour way of thinking is overstatin'our relationship with the realm of Satan

[chorus]

now I can't help but to be confusedat this negative stereotype that's overusedyour way of thinking makes me laugh'cause you haven't heard a metal band since Sabbath

I've written short stories before, but only in creative writing class, and those were easy because we were given a theme with which to write about. If I was to just sit here and try to come up with a short story or essay or whatever, I'd be sitting here a while before I just gave up.

Which was more an experiment to see if I could break away from my typical poems and songs, and something I hope to do again at some point. But, again, it's difficult to find themes. Songs and poems simply come to me as I think up good rhymes and then flesh them out into whatever I want to write about. Anything else? It would end up sounding like crazed rantings, probably.

This first one, I don't really know how to explain where it came from. It started with the first line of the song (or a variation of it) and I tried a couple of different ways to expand on it. Eventually...this happened. It's essentially written from the point of view of someone who thinks the world would be better off without them. The chorus was an afterthought, as I'd written all the verses, but after running through it in my head I decided it felt too short and repetitive. I mean, the repetition of the first few words of each line was intentional, I just didn't realize how it would affect the flow at first. Anyway:

"People Like Me"

it's hard to wake up with something to believe inwhen people like me are still alive and breathingI've turned all of my friends into bitter enemiesuntil there's no one left to hear my helpless pleas

[chorus:take my eyes until I can't seetake my life until I can't betake the suffering I've causedconfine it to these empty hallstake the anger I've expelledall the hatred I've compellederase the pain and all the fearit's a better place when I'm not here]

it's hard to find truth behind a stranger's eyeswhen people like me are the ones spinning the liesI've turned every single truth into a false pretenseuntil I can't separate which part really makes sense

[chorus]

it's hard to get along with members of my societywhen people like me are devoid of basic humanityI've turned myself against my own kind, my own breeduntil I've become something else, something obscene

[chorus]

it's hard to see why a man shot himself in the headwhen people like me flat-out refuse to drop deadI've turned my life into a story no one should readuntil the end where I finally fall down and bleed

[chorus]

___

At first it was going to be "People Like You" but I've done plenty of songs with that underlying theme, so I decided to "flip the script" so to speak.

This next one requires some backtracking. Some months ago I wrote a song called Darkness Painted White (here) which was about a person who puts up a false cheerful front to hide the fact that they're suffering inside - hence, they "painted over" their darkness. At the end of the song the "mask" begins to come apart. This is a follow-up to that song, which tells of the mask finally peeling away and leaving nothing but a broken soul.

"Thinner"

I open my eyes to endless grayno mask to hide my slow decaythe paint I used to hide behindis thinning to the dark inside

incandescence of the altered presencenothing left but tattered remnantsiridescence, fades to absencecorroded by the opaque silence

[chorus:reassure that I'm alrightfumbling in the darkest nightnothing but the faintest glimmeris left by the oppressive thinner]

I feel it washing over mesetting all the darkness freeI must face it all alonefor these demons are my own

see no evil, hear no evila farce that left my body feeblemind is fearful, eyes are tearfulto myself I've been deceitful

[chorus]

[bridge:I coated my inner pain in whitebelieved that it would be alrightI thought I could conceal my scarsuntil the thinner tore my mask apart]

no longer living a false frontinjured by my prideful stuntnow my pain has been exposedthe masquerade has decomposed

how I tried, to conceal the liesbleeding from a wound I deniedclose my eyes, the thinner's driedsuffering under darkened skies

[chorus:can't pretend that I'm alrightsinking into pale twilightechoes of no life will shimmerunder the oppressive thinner]______

I intentionally structured this one pretty much exactly like the first one, to give it some credibility as a "sequel" of sorts.

I didn't actually go back to re-read the first one, but I thought I detected a similar structure. They make an interesting pair. Maybe one day, if you ever find yourself feeling in a more positive mood, it could be interesting to write one about the experience of living with the darkness and then (hopefully) coming out the other side. (Btw, I loved your rhymes in"incandescence of the altered presencenothing left but tattered remnantsiridescence, fades to absencecorroded by the opaque silence".

People Like Me is quite interesting to me because I know someone who, some years ago, had serious self-esteem problems and thought very much like that (and had succeeded in alienating many of his friends, so the 3rd line in the 1st stanza is also applicable). So I can certainly see it as a song expressing plausible personal emotions.

With regard to your metal one, I have encountered that attitude, but so far only once explicitly (in a document that an acquaintance brought home from a religious conference run by an American organisation, so I think it it probably is chiefly an American attitude, or, at least, an attitude held within churches that derive their doctrine from certain American churches). I sometimes wonder what those circles who claim that the whole of metal as a genre (or genres) is satanic make of the various Christian metal bands that exist.

This is something I wrote this morning for kicks, I guess. It's been almost 24 hours since I wrote it so I have no idea what kind of mindset I was in. But I do know it's meant to be a bit silly. Also, I realize the title is kinda dumb but that just furthers the notion that it shouldn't be taken seriously on any level.

"Me(an), Myself(ish), and I(nsane)" alternate title: "The Worst Kind of People" (less parentheses but also pretty boring and straightforward)

so you wanna know what kind of people are the worst?there's something kinda urgent I gotta tell ya firstI've got some with me right here inside of my brainand every single one of us has completely gone insane

I prefer to spend my free time tormenting human soulsspiking every lame-ass party's unattended punch bowlI beat a blind man up with his own damn walking stickwhen I met the queen, I said "your majesty, suck my dick"

[pre-chorus:I'm a twisted fucking SOB, it's true for all of meI'm everything that you hate, multiplied by threeI turned off my common sense, it wasn't helpin' meit threatened to release me from this sweet insanity]

I took a good, long piss all over Whistler's Motherconvinced the congregation that Satan was my brotherI may have stretched the very definition of devotionwhen I killed every motherfucker who did the Locomotion

I set the doomsday clock forward to revel in your fearI take pride in setting human rights back twenty yearsevery doctor wants to save me from my mental corruptionif you think I want relief, well that's a poor assumption

[pre-chorus and chorus]

I've got bullets set aside for the country music artistsand a few Stinger missiles for the political alarmistsI go dressed up as Michael Myers every single Halloweenand beat the living shit out of people dressed as Scream

I held up traffic in New York flagging down every taxiI ripped the wings right off of that fucking fairy Navievery time I go to say a prayer, I smile and bow my headto let Him know I won't be coming to visit when I'm dead

If I thought it was serious I'd have found that very disturbing indeed, but as it is, I found it utterly hilarious.

And I'm sure there are plenty of people very ready to agree with one or two of those sentiments ("I've got bullets set aside for the country music artists"; "I ripped the wings right off of that fucking fairy Navi", to quote a couple :lol:).

This next one came from a desire to experiment with a genre I hadn't really written for - black metal. Specifically, misanthropic black metal, but...my initial goal was to write this without a rhyme scheme, but after I accidentally rhymed a few lines (humanity and individuality in the first verse, and later on in a verse I removed) I went back and rewrote parts to give it a rhythmic flow. I can still envision it working as a black metal song, so I guess it wasn't a total miss.

"Diagnosis: Humanity"

I'm dying from an inherent diseasediagnosis: humanityeverywhere I look it's the sameno individuality

before we crawled, evil had flownunleashing prehistoric plightthen we came upon it's vile landbastards of the sludge of life

[chorus:masters of the universe at largewe place our race on highI step down from the pedestaland await our time to die]

we claim all in the name of Godbut we only serve ourselvestaking what we believe to be oursas our pride begins to swell

we find our strength in numbersbut I refuse to be a cogpowering the infernal machinechoking us in the foul smog

[chorus]

all things begin, all things endbut the cancer still remainswhere is the retribution deservedfor leaving earth bloodstained

I await the savior of our racenot the one they call Christthe pinnacle of our creationsundone by our own device

I couldn't say how well that fits the black metal genre (I never was good at recognising precisely what defines each given metal genre), but it certainly seems sombre enough, and I could certainly imagine those lyrics set in a metal style. I like it.

I finished writing this song just now, and figured I'd go ahead and post it before I decide it's not good enough and delete it (because I've done that with two songs already) so...I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a rage song or a death metal song. Maybe it's both. >_>

"Cadavearth"

I've had enough of the world and all it's shitI crave the sight of blood in the drainage ditchI swore to myself I wouldn't commit homicidebut the axe in your chest says the promise died

it's time for plan B: mass murder and revengeinjected in your veins through a poison syringeyou think I'm insane, that's just your opinionI just wanna spread the reign of death's dominion

[pre-chorus:and I wish I may, I wish I mightcrush your fucking skull tonightthe smell of death is getting worsewith each delivery from my hearse]

[chorus:the world is a casket just waiting to be filledwith the bodies of every motherfucker I've killedI'll bleed this fucking planet for all it's worthtag the toe and close the drawer on this cadavearth]

digging out a mass grave, I won't leave no rosesjust a pile of corpses, striking rigid posesmy profession changes from hitman to grave diggerdepending on if my finger is on the trigger

the air is thick, the grass is black and deadI'll complete the scenery with your severed headthere's no stopping my mission of de-populationuntil I've fixed earth's human over-saturation

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