Bree: I am so sick of you! No, no, no! I'm not sick of you, Caitlin. Maybe Rodney just needs some space.

Chase: Yeah, maybe Rodney's an astronaut!

Adam: Yeah, maybe he dumped Caitlin for a one-eyed Martian girl!

Bree: Caitlin, hold on!

Chase: Ooh!

( no audible sound )

Bree: Okay, what were you saying?

Chase: I got this.

( metallic clang )

( laughter )

Chase: I love magnets!

. . .

Bree: Mr. Davenport, I cannot stand them anymore. Can they please go live in your warehouse?

Donald: Bree, the warehouse is where I keep my explosive chemicals.

Bree: Like I said, can they please go live in your warehouse?

Tasha: Well, Donald, she is getting older. She needs privacy. Why don't you give her one of your extra rooms? You have like fourteen.

Donald: Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not have any extra rooms.

Tasha: You have a pool table room, bumper car room, arcade room, surf simulator room, not to mention a room full of mirrors!

Donald: Yeah, or as I like to call it, a room full of me.

Tasha: Okay, Bree, you can have my sewing room.

Bree: Yes! So long, bozos!

Chase: Fine. Without you, we will make the lab totally awesome for ourselves.

Adam: That's right. No more hair scrunchies or rainbow-colored toe socks or pretty, pinky, shiny junk! Ooh, but I'm a little chapped. Could I borrow some of your Bubble Berry Pucker Bomb? Man, it's always so hard not to eat.

. . .

Game: Leo wins.

( chuckling )

Leo: Man, this is awesome. Bigger is always better, except for in this case, where the little just kicked the big guy's butt.

Donald: Uh, you know, Leo, I don't let just anybody use my holoscopic screen. You know, this is a big father/son moment for us.

Leo: Please don't make me play catch. That's just gonna get ugly. So, Big D, can I ask you a question?

Leo: No! No! I am not in love! I am not in love! I'm just carefully exploring my options as I venture into a place I like to call "Ladyland."

Donald: You have no idea what you're doing, do you?

Leo: Not a clue.

Donald: Well, the first time I met your mom, I offered her a ride in my futuristic, high-speed helicopter.

Leo: So I can borrow the helicopter?

Donald: That's a great idea-- In an alternate universe where bad ideas are great. Leo, what I'm trying to say is, you're like me. You know, you're smart and you're handsome, but people think you're a nerd, so you've gotta be flashy so they know how cool you are.

Leo: Okay. "Be flashy." Got it. I'm gonna try some of that on Janelle. But let's keep that between us, okay?

Donald: Absolutely. What happens in Ladyland stays in Ladyland.

. . .

( gong resounds softly )

( gong clangs loudly )

Adam: Whoo! So, I was looking for stuff to spruce up our new pad, and I found this awesome chair. Someone just left it on the curb with a "Take me, I'm free" sign on it. Suckas!

( coughing )

Adam: Oh, look, and it comes with a free chihuahua.

Chase: Adam! That's a rat!

Adam: Oh, good, then it won't keep me up with its barking.

Chase: Adam, get that chair out of here right now.

Adam: Well, if I do that, then where's the rat supposed to live?

Chase: How 'bout we check with the neighbors cat.

Adam: Hey, if you don't like my rat, why'd you buy him such a fancy little hot tub?

Chase: No! You keep that disease-ridden thing out of my zen fountain.

Adam: And if he can't swim in it, then I don't want it in here.

Chase: The fountain stays.

Adam: The rat stays.

Chase: Okay, there is only one solution for this. We'll have to split the room down the middle.

Adam: Fine. Me and my pet will be happy right over here.

Chase: Great. Then this will be my half.

Adam: Fine. Good news Mr. Little Paws. You and I are gonna be roomies. Oh, look! He's so excited, he made raisins!

. . .

Bree: Caitlin, can you believe it? I totally got my own room. Now I can give you misguided boyfriend advice in peace. What? Caitlin, I can't hear you.

( vacuuming )

Bree: Uh, Tasha! Tasha!

Tasha: Oh! Are you on the phone? Sorry. I'll just do something else.

Bree: Okay, Caitlin, where were we?

( pounding )

Tasha: Look, it's you and me: "Bff's." That's "Best friends forever."

Bree: I know.

Tasha: I'm just so excited to have you up here. Go ahead, pretend I'm not here.

Bree: Anyway, Caitlin, I would just give it some time, play it cool, and hopefully Rodney will come to his senses.

Tasha: Ooh. I wouldn't do that.

Bree: Uh, do you mind?

Tasha: Oh, sure. No problem. Caitlin, it's Tasha. You gotta show that boy who's boss. If it were me, I would grab him by the collar and I would say, "You are not gonna walk all over me, mister!"

( Caitlin crying )

Tasha: Oh, you're a crier. This is gonna take all night.

. . .

Donald: Ooh, honey. Guess who is the world's greatest stepdad-slash-inventor? According to this mug, it's me.

Tasha: I'm surprised it doesn't have your face on it.

Donald: Bam! Get this: Leo and I had a moment, and he told me about a girl.

Tasha: Well, what did he say?

Donald: Well, I can't. He asked me not to say anything-- Her name is Janelle!

Tasha: Aah! I knew it!

( laughing )

Donald: Wait, you knew? How did you--?

Tasha: Yesterday he slipped and asked me for a peanut butter and "Janelly" sandwich.

( laughter )

Tasha: I know her mother. This is so exciting!

Donald: He was having a little trouble talking to her, so I kind of helped him out in that department. "Go, dad, go."

Chase: Bree, it's Chase, and your lame "man voice" doesn't fool me. ( sighs ) I cannot deal with Adam anymore. Without you, we've turned on each other. I need you to come back to the lab and be the brunt of our pranks.

Bree: Really? Hmm. Here's the thing: I can't leave this place. I mean, I just love it up here so much.

Chase: Please, I'm begging you.

Bree: Well, I guess maybe I could, as long as you promise me full privacy whenever I ask for it.

Chase: Yeah! Like that's gonna happen.

Bree: Hm.

Chase: Huh.

Bree: Wait! I have to move back! I have less privacy now than I did before. Tasha is a smothering lunatic! She stepped inside of my capsule!

( gasps )

Bree: I know! Boundaries!

Adam: That horse just ate my giant plastic chili cheese dog, and I'm afraid to see what happens next.

Chase: See what I have to deal with?

Bree: If you give me what I want, I can take care of that for you.

Chase: Okay, fine. Privacy whenever you want it.

Bree: Adam, we're all moving back down to the lab. You're gonna get rid of the horse, and things are gonna go back to the way they were.

Adam: What? Can you believe how bossy she is?

Chase: I know. She's the worst. We should probably just stick together and do whatever she says.

Adam: Oh, yeah! That'll show her!

Tasha: Guess what, Bree: I just read your horoscope, and it says you shouldn't be alone tonight!

Bree: You know, actually, I'm moving back down to the lab. My brothers need me.

Tasha: Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your... mind! I wonder what Leo's up to.

. . .

Donald: Oh, hey, Leo. Remember when you shocked me earlier? Yeah, neither do I, because I pass out when I'm electrocuted.

Leo: Yeah, well, I took your advice and tried to add a little dose of flash to my nerd, and I ended up in the arms of a lunch lady. Luckily for me, she's also a retired pro wrestler.

Donald: Leo, let me make it up to you. I-I think I have an idea.

. . .

( helicopter rotors whirr )

Janelle: Leo? What are you doing?

Leo: Your ride awaits, m'lady. Not you!

. . .

( rotors whirring )

Janelle: Leo, this is amazing.

Leo: Amazing... Or just another Thursday?

( laughter )

Janelle: Aren't you a little young to be a pilot?

Leo: Please! My first diaper was a parachute. I went straight from crying to flying.

( laughter )

Janelle: You're funny.

Leo: Well, if by funny, you mean--

Janelle: Don't kill it.

Leo: Right. Control tower, this is captain Leo. Thanks for a great flight.

Donald: No problem, Leo. Hey, even though I'm controlling this, let's not let your mom know I let you up in a helicopter, okay?

Leo: Copy that.

Donald: And if you're gonna get romantic, snap to it. You're almost out of gas.

. . .

Adam: So, imagine my surprise when the plastic chili dog came out in one piece!

Tasha: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?

Donald: Nope. I just smile and nod until it's over.

( elevator bell dings )

Adam: Good boy! You learned to push the buttons! Now let's go get Chase in here, and we'll hit every floor. Down, please.