ATTENTION ATHLETES: This Is How You Convince People You Never Took Steroids

Ryan Braun held a press conference today where he defended himself against accusations that he took steroids.

The backstory: Braun, last year's National League MVP, tested positive for having a ton of synthetic testosterone in his system during the playoffs last year.

Then yesterday, an arbiter overturned his suspension because of a procedural loophole. Basically, the person handling his urine sample didn't realize that the local FedEx was open late on a Saturday night. So he took it home and stored it in his fridge (a common practice), until Monday. Since the rules say that he should have taken it to FedEx immediately on Saturday, Braun's positive test was overturned.