One of my biggest gripes is when friends and family assume that following me on Instagram or Facebook is ‘keeping in touch’. It so isn’t and it annoys the crap out of me. Until I realised, I do exactly the same thing.

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I’ll be honest: social media makes me a lazy friend/sibling/daughter. I don’t call home as much. I send HB! comments instead of calling my friends on their birthday. I don’t really to the extra mile to ‘stay connected’ – Facebook just makes it so easy, right?

Only three years ago – before I owned a smart phone – life felt different. When I was travelling with my mates, lounging with loved ones or simply eating my lunch, the thoughts ‘ooohh let’s take a pic to share on Insty’, or ‘ahhhh we’re all together, I’ll check us in!’, or ‘I wonder how many likes that photo has now…’ weren’t even apart of my mental playlist. My old ‘brick phone’ couldn’t even take photos, let alone come equipped with Apps that keep me connected, wired and (let’s be honest) addicted.

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And we’re all feeling this aren’t we? We’re finding ourselves scrolling mindlessly through News Feed madness, heads down in the direction of our iPhones, glued to images of newborns, weddings and renovations that belong to people you probably wouldn’t say ‘hello’ to at the supermarket.

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My boyfriend hates it. Out for dinner with friends on Saturday night, he nudged me in annoyance when he realised every single one of us at the table was burrowed in our phones. At a wedding party yesterday, I stood there Instagramming a photo of the two of us with the caption ‘I LOVE YOU’, instead of looking at him in the eye and just telling him. (OK, of course I tell him this all the time – and I am all for celebrating and sharing love – but it felt a bit grimy in the moment).

My friend Emily shared this video recently that captures the disconnection that thrives in that space of social media addiction perfectly. I actually feel that it’s adding to a low level stress/anxiety that I find creeps up from time to time… Clenched jaw, anxious flutters in my chest, picking at my scalp; all standard physical reactions I notice after over-using social media.

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So I’m taking a break. Massively inspired by my friend Tara‘s recent (and brave) decision to completely close her Facebook account (personal and business pages), I’m simply going to ‘log off’ all platforms for the rest of October – at least. I have a girl’s weekend away next weekend, a trip to Melbourne for my best mate’s birthday at the end of the month and friends visiting us at the moment, and I plan to be fully present. Nope, not even an Insty brekky post! #forreals 😉

This is an experiment, fuelled by a desire to simplify, focus on what is truly essential and somewhat ironically, reconnect.

HELL YES social media is awesome! The Facebook group I’ve created for my coaching clients is SERIOUSLY THE BEST (a bunch of inspiring, earth-shakingly-beautiful women supporting one another? Yes please!) and I could go on forever about the benefits it has brought my business, this blog, the friendships it has brought into my life – but boundaries and moderation are KEY – so it’s time to jump out of the pond for a moment, so I can gain some perspective on what role I want these platforms to play in my life.

I’ll still be blogging (and I’ve got some fun posts coming up), so the best way to stay in the loop is to jump on my newsletter list below, write me a comment below if this resonates with you or even send me an email. You know, the ‘old fashioned way’ – ha!

I’d love for you to share this post – either on social media or yelling to your neighbour across the fence!

29 Comments

My hubby has a theory that I am fully on-board with. He reckons that A LOT of us are walking around with some form of Post Traumatic Stress disorder. Because it’s not just the check-ins and the happy birthday posts – we are also seeing extremely distressing images and videos popping into our feeds every hour, minute, second. I know it stresses me out. So with my new-found dEtox I will also be factoring in news sites!

P.s. I cannot promise that I will not be instagramming photos of my breakfast on said girlie weekend. 🙂

I can really connect with this post Claire. I too am shocked when with friends that everyone is either burrowed in their phone or tagging/taking photos. Social media does make you feel connected, but in a disconnected sorta way! Well done on taking a break, I hope it works wonders for you x

I only got my smart phone last year, joined Instagram in January this year (when I started my site) and it is absolutely a love/hate relationship. You’re right on the money with setting boundaries to reap the many benefits and joys of social media but to actually regain some presence and mindfulness back in our REAL life.

I am known to nag my partner to turn the TV off but I’ve realised that I am probably on my phone way more than he watches TV! He was trying to talk to me the other day and I was distracted- on my phone- and he (for the first time ever) exclaimed in exasperation “You’re always on that bloody phone!” It was a rude wake-up call. I’m preaching ‘being in the moment’ but had been letting myself fall down the rabbit hole of Instagram and mindless scrolling way too often.

I think we’ll be seeing quite a few people take a hiatus from social media…there’s a real sense of it brewing! Ironically- it’s all over my news feed! Haha!

Hells to the yes! This is awesome and so well-put. My husband can’t stand social media and I find that I become totally out-of-whack if I don’t take at least a few hours each day away from it. Even though pretty much everything I do is for my business accounts (more of a purpose in my mind) it can get overwhelming and start to feel reallllyyyy icky.
Great post, Claire! Have fun being switched off. xoxo

Absolutely – I use social media primarily for business… Sort of. But then, the lines are so blurred and it’s a serious vortex! Thanks for sharing lovely, I’m only a few days into this hiatus and LOVING IT x

You’ve inspired me to set an intention to one day be in the space that I can go on a social media detox and be thrilled for it. At the moment the idea of not having social media fills me with anxiety. Living in a hugely isolated area means that social media (and phone, email and blogs) are the only way I can have people to talk to. But one day that will change because being connected in person like you described sounds so incredible that I will achieve it too x

Oohhhh absolutely. Social media keeps me in touch with my family who live so far away and friends who I never get to see. For me, it’s just making sure I’m making the REAL effort to maintain my most meaningful relationships – not just relying on my news feed.

Claire, I totally feel ya on this one! Talk about syncronicity…I just wrote a post on how my iPhone takes center stage in my life and often gets a better view of it than I do with all my snaps and postings. It can be so life-sucking, hey! I commend you for taking a stand and signing off for a while. Much love your way!

Love this article so much Claire. I’m with you. It’s one of my intentions on the essentialism challenge. I have completed the document, just need to put it up over on our site. I let go off social media over the weekend and I had a blast! Feel so refreshed. It made me realise how much time I waste not taking life in. I even wrote about it on my blog post this week. Looking forward to going on the journey with you.

Hi claire I absolutely agree with you . We are missing very speciale Moments while searching sociale Media (IG, pinterest ,FB etc.!) . So Really cool my dear you’ve taken a Time out from it! Enjoy it dear.
Love natalie

Love this post so much!
It is definetely an addiction and quite often I find myself struggling to keep my eyes open, but still scrolling through facebook feed “waiting for something to happen” or someone to post something amazingly life changing…
It fuels procrastination big time!!!

I don’t have FB on my iPhone, only Instagram (and being a photographer I do use that a bit) but still waste a heck of a lot of time on FB in my office.

Taking a break is something I do often and it does help! I hope you enjoy yours x

Me too Renee, I took FB off my phone quite awhile ago… But I’d still use Messenger and had pretty much just replaced it with Instagram! The thing that gets me is the “flicking” between Facebook and work and Facebook and work… It’s draining!

[…] I was inspired to write about the importance of unplugging after reading a post by one of my favourite bloggers, Claire Baker on her blog – Social media addiction: I think it’s making me a stressed-out sucky friend, so I’m signing off. […]

YES! I just returned from a vacation to Mexico where the phone was put away other than a few quick emails and updates to friends and family to say we are safe and having a blast. What a wonderful time it was to ENGAGE in conversation around the table, notice people/places/things around me, and enjoy the little moments instead of burying my face into a phone. I’ve also decided to limit my time on the phone (massive group texts included), and give RESPECT to those around me by being fully present. I’ve deleted facebook and other apps off my phone so if I really need to check them; I have to log onto a computer and browse.
Thanks for this post; it was truly a great read and came at a perfect time.

Hi. I was looking for something to read about social media and stress because my recent exchanges of views with a relative through Facebook, has taken a toll on our relationship. From what I thought was a healthy conversation of mature people having opposing views, it ended up with her feeling insulted while me being bothered. I would definitely associate the headache I’m having right now to this social media experience and the stress that it brought me. Thank you for your write up and thank you for sharing that video. It’s true that despite the many benefits of social media, there’s a lot of disadvantages too, and we just have to be vigilant in not letting these platforms take over our lives.

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