feeling very alone

Back in 1998, I got in some trouble and suffered some mental illness, and I lost alot of friends and family. Over the years I have managed well, but today, my wife's sister is having a grand opening of her new business, and I am the only one that was not asked to help out. I feel like I want to die right now, it brings back bad memories, and reminds me that nothing has changed.

I'm sorry you're feeling so hurt and alone at the moment. It is hard when we think we're doing OK and others, for some reason, give us the impression they don't think we're all right.

However, sometimes we are mistaken about their motivations. You say you are the only one who wasn't asked to help. Perhaps she didn't know you wanted to help. Perhaps she thought it would tax your reserves too much FOR YOU and that you'd be upset with her if she asked you.

Here's one thing I know for sure: Being left out of that is not a reason to off yourself...It just feels lousy. Perhaps it is a reason to tell your sister-in-law, "If there's anything I can do to help, please ask."

If it turns out that she is biased against you, then her opinion is not going to be supportive or of help to you, in which case, why bother being hurt by her...prove you're useful in some other venue and be successful IN SPITE of her opinion, hun.

I appreciate your asking ALL the right questions, making sure I am not mistaken. Believe me, I can be in the same room with all these people around the holidays and be very much alone. It's too much for my wife to change this also, I am not trying to change this anyway, just for some strange reason, it is hitting me hard this time, I'm not sure why. I did ask, through my wife, was told no. 10 years of feeling regreful has just worn me down.

I've felt alone in a room full of people on occasion, too. It's as though I am on one planet and they are on another, and we just don't "get" each other. In other situations, with other people, I don't feel that way. Perhaps you need to have other people to be with at other times so this particular group of people don't wear on you as much when you do have to be in touch with them.

I'm sorry it's wearing you down. The good news is that you've found this forum and can post here about your feelings. You will find support, others with similar feelings/experiences, and hopefully, a few new online friends.