Howard Lake-Waverly Herald, April 3, 2000

Zanders: local family adopts Russian children

Three small bodies scramble from embrace to embrace, kissing
and hugging. Sometimes, they just snuggle.

Tami and Jed Zander of Howard Lake hug, hold, and kiss
them back. The three little ones are their youngest adopted children.

They brought them to their home from Pscov, Russia a year
ago this month.

Peter, 4, Amber, 3, and Christopher, 2, have stability
and a real home, probably for the first time in their short lives.

"I saw them in person for the first time in the orphanage
in Russia," said Tyler, 8.

"When Dad told them who I was, Amber just walked up
and hugged me," he said.

For Tyler, who was adopted from Brazil when he was 19 days
old, this has been a big adjustment.

He was an only child for eight years, and a houseful of
small siblings can be overwhelming at times, said Tyler.

"Sometimes, I like to be alone," he added.

When it gets to be too much, Tyler, who likes math, science,
and art, retires to his room to do homework or play video games, he said.

The Zanders have so much to say about their adoption experience,
they really don't know where to start.

They always wanted a family, and when they couldn't have
children of their own, adoption was a clear choice.

With the support and encouragement of family members, friends,
and the congregation of St. James Lutheran Church, Tami and Jed launched
their quest.

The members of St. James were especially supportive and
no one ever was negative, Jed stated.

Adoption process

The home study, where the adoption agency investigated
the Zanders, came first about five years ago. That cost them about $10,000.

Then, they started looking in Guatemala for a child that
might match Tyler's skin tones and hair color. They wanted the children
to to look like siblings.

Normally, it takes two years for the process, but the political
climate was not good in Guatemala, so when the Zanders were directed to
investigate Russia, they knew from the first video tape that was sent to
them, that this was what they were supposed to do, said Tami.

They both have a lot of faith that there is a reason things
happen, and when they viewed the tape of the three small children for the
first time, they knew this was what God intended for their lives.

The people at the orphanage sent two video tapes of the
children. The first one was taken when they first came into the facility.
By the time the second tape came, there was a marked difference in their
appearance and manner, Jed said.

In the second tape, their physical condition had deteriorated,
and they didn't have the "together" look of siblings that they
had on the first one, he said.

The explanation came later, when they were in Russia.

Facilities for children are poor in Russia

Children in Russian orphanages are separated by age groups,
and the three siblings were not together any longer.

Three years was the top age for this particular facility
in Pscov, Russia. After three, the children are shipped to another orphanage
for older children.

When they are 12 years old, they are put out on the streets
to fend for themselves, Tami said.

Conditions in the orphanages are appalling, she said.

In Pscov, there were more than 100 children, under the
age of four, and there was not a sound from any of them when the Zanders
and their friends walked into the facility, Jed said.

Because of the unnatural silence in the orphanage, Jed
said he thought the children were drugged.

Children do not wear diapers or anything else on their
bottoms, Tami said.

They are set on pots every hour until they "go,"
she said.

Urine puddles dotted the floors.

Water is scarce, and the children were not bathed. The
three youngsters they adopted had cradle cap and scabies, she said.

"These children need to be rescued," Tami stated.

At one point, before they left for Russia, Jed asked if
he could come over with food and money to take care of his kids. The Russian
government said no.

"They are very secretive there, and there is a lot
of corruption," Tami stated.

Money or things slated for the orphanages end up with the
Russian mafia or some corrupt official.

People told us this orphanage is one of the worst facilities
in Russia, he said.

There are more than 500,000 children in the Russian orphanages
at all times, he noted.

When the orphanages are shown on television, the pictures
are of the special needs children, said Tami, but they are not the majority
of the children that need homes.

Journey to Russia

Parents in Russia give their children up for adoption in
the hope they will be fed and given good homes.

Unfortunately, that is not the case, Jed said.

Because of the corruption, the Zanders brought clothing
and medicines to the orphanage, rather than money.

Jed explained that St. James Lutheran Church in Howard
Lake and St. Mary's Catholic Church in Waverly collected clothing and sent
it with them.

They took about $12,000 in cash with them, divided up among
the adults stashed in their socks and various other places on their bodies.

Tom Zander, Jed's brother, and a sister-in-law, Connie
Zander went along to help, as well as the caseworker that assisted them
in the process.

Of course, the Zanders would not think of leaving Tyler
home. He needed to be in on the process from the very beginning, Tami said.

The nine of them had to squeeze into two tiny cars, and
they had to pay the two drivers $50 per day each, she said.

They spoke a little English, and Tami said she thought
they were trustworthy.

The most highly paid people in Russia make about $30 per
month, right now.

Some of the Russians the Zanders had contact with were
nice, others were not. The struggle in Kosovo had started and the Russians
were mad at the Americans, Tami said.

There are no houses anywhere in Pscov, just stark white
apartment buildings.

In this city of a million people, the food situation is
very bad, and vodka is cheaper than water.

The area has had two years of bad crops, and the people
are so poor, most children don't get proper care, said Tami.

The Zanders stayed in Pscov for three days, and two apartments
were found for them to use the first night.

The group was separated and Jed and Tami found themselves
in a first floor room with no door.

"We were a little nervous," Tami said.

Children come home

The Zanders met the three youngsters April 4, 1999, Easter
morning.

"That was a 'wow' experience. So many things came
together; we were meant to have these children. They were just waiting for
us," Jed stated.

Christopher was 11 months and 11 pounds when they adopted
him. He was definitely malnourished, Jed said.

Now, he weighs 25 pounds, and has really grown, he said.

Amber went from 19 to 25 pounds, and has grown four inches.
Peter has gained just a couple of pounds, but he has also grown four inches.

"We thought there would be a 'breaking in period,'
where the children would be very quiet (and perhaps a little timid). We
didn't expect all this activity right away," Tami laughed.

The kids were almost immediately curious and active, and
by the time they had been out of the orphanage for five days, they were
normal active children, Jed explained.

"You don't know how you are going to feel towards
these (adopted) children. I can't explain, but I don't think there is any
difference (from a natural child)," Tami said.

These three children were older than Tyler when they were
adopted, and it took longer to attach to them than it did with Tyler.

"But, when you know you would die for this child,
it has happened," Jed stated.

Amber attached to Tami immediately, and Peter attached
to Jed. In fact, Peter had traumatic separation anxiety whenever Jed left
to work.

In fact, the children always want to know where each member
of the family is at all times. They appear to be fearful of being separated,
Jed noted.

Peter is happiest when working next to Jed. And work he
does. At almost five, Jed said he shows him once what he wants done, and
the boy will work until he is through.

This probably stems from his early experiences, said Tami.

"You have to understand what is going on in Russia,"
she said.

Tami explained that living conditions are worse in Russia
than they were in this country during the depression years.

People dress in dark, dreary, ragged clothing. The climate
in Pascov is similar to Canada, and people don't have enough to eat.

Children that are old enough to do anything have to work
with their parents. Younger children must shift for themselves at home.

Probably, three-year-old Peter had to take care of his
two younger siblings. At the time they were placed in the orphanage, both
Peter and two-year-old Amber could dress themselves.

Amber had to be broken of the habit of picking up anything
that looked edible, said Tami.

Even young children have survival skills, it seems.

Their life experiences were near zero. They had never seen
a car, Jed noted.

Peter spent the first day out of the orphanage staring
in awe at cars, he said.

There were seven children in the family, according to the
orphanage people, and no one knows what happened to the four older ones.
Because of the ages, the older children would have been placed in other
facilities.

And since things are so secretive, the Zanders will never
know exactly where (what city or even what country) their children were
born.

Birthdays are also suspect. The orphanage personnel told
them that Christopher's birthday was May 2, Amber's May 3, and Peter's May
4. They may just have been assigned dates, said Tami.

Now, it just so happens that Tyler's birthday really is
May 2, so the kids can probably all have a party at the same time.

"All we ever wanted was a family. We love the lifestyle.
We have the farm, the play equipment and toys to share. We don't do much
socially. One child was glorious, but we have so much to share," said
Tami.

"I don't know how we could love any child more than
we do these children," Jed said.

"There are children everywhere that need parents,
and if that is where God wants you to go . . . go," Jed said.