Retailers Pull Confederate Flags to Make Room for Gun Inventory

Major retailers across the United States, like Amazon and Target, are pulling all of their confederate flag merchandise in reaction to last week’s Charleston shooting, while other retailers like Walmart, are trying to make room for more guns while simultaneously scoring a PR victory.

At a press conference taking place yesterday, Walmart spokesman Brian Nix declared “We at Walmart have stopped carrying confederate flag merchandise — not only to prove our commitment to improving race relations in this country but also because we have a big shipment of AR-15’s coming in and nowhere to put them.”

The spokesman then said “seriously check this out. This is sick.” while cocking a machine gun and shooting “Walmart RULEZ” into the ceiling of the room the press conference was held in.

Walmart customers had mixed reactions to the news. Local white trash resident Donny Hudson expressed remorse that he wouldn’t be able to buy a confederate flag “who farted?” t-shirt at Walmart anymore, but was happy that he could still purchase a machine designed specifically to kill things he would never have any reason to kill.