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Let me know if you need any help

This is the phrase that I’ve heard so much in the past year and I’m coming to really… despise it. And here’s why:

People only say that out of reflex. Whether they mean it or not will be apparent in no time.

People only want to help when it’s convenient and if they happen to be free that day.

People want to help you in a way that’s efficient for them. They want to know exactly how they can help you. But sometimes I just need someone to sit with me as I’m figuring things out.

People have a threshold for comfort when they’re helping you. My dad has some friends who took him out to eat 3x/week up until last month when he became house-bound/bed-ridden. Where were they when he needed his butt wiped?

People don’t make sacrifices. Unfortunately, I’ve seen this in my Christian community where people are supposed to be my brothers and sisters. If they were really like my siblings, then wouldn’t they mourn and suffer with me? And it’s sad to say that through this experience with my dad, I’ve only seen this from a handful of people (who I am incredibly thankful for).

Given all these requirements that I need to meet in order for others to help me, I’d rather just pretend I didn’t hear the phrase to begin with.