Dodgy Norman’s Great Western Train Fault and Maintenance Mayhem!

By day, Dodgy Norman lives up the road from you. He occasionally tinkers on his clapped out Vauxhaull Corsa with sports exhaust. He’ll sort your car out for a bit of cash in hand. The car will break down 2 weeks later, so you’ll be back for more. Eventually Dodgy Norman bankrupts you and steals your childen. He sells the children to buy a new subwoofer.

But by night he takes on his distinguished role of First Great Western Train Maintenance Man. Dodgy Norman rides again.

We don’t know much else about Norman, just that he maintains the trains that continually break down. Not enough cash in hand, punters. Pay up. Norman has you by the knackers (or fe-knackers, for ladyviewers).

What does he look like? We can’t be sure. So using state of the art 21st Century technology and a fiver for the guy at Crimewatch, we’ve recreated Dodgy Norman for you so you may identify him and avoid being fleeced. Distinguishing features include:

The face of telebastard Jeremy Kyle

The pencil moustache of Errol Flynn

The smile and jaw of 1980s pop starlet Michael Bolton

The bionic eye of James Corden

Three Cheers For Dodgy Norman : turning train travel into a bloody disaster

Norman battles missing staff for the title of Worst FGW WTF Factor. Services disrupted by broken down or faulty trains.

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