SAT - Sex Aptitude Test

Vocabulary

1. Snowballing refers to which sexual practice?
a)
fucking someone
with a popsicle
b)
having sex in a
walk-in refrigerator
c)
after a blow job,
passing the cum back and forth from one partner's mouth to the other's
d)
jerking off,
saving your cum, and freezing it in an ice cube tray

2. Barebacking refers to which sexual practice?
a) unsafe
sex without
condoms
b) pony
play in the nude
c)
ejaculating on someone's naked backside
d)
intercourse where the woman is on top and rides her partner's cock while yelling
"Giddy-up!"

4. Dogging refers to which sexual practice?
a) having
sex with a Great Dane
b)
intercourse in the doggie style position
c) having
sex in outdoor locations where voyeurs may join in
d) barking
like a dog during orgasm

5. The Shocker refers to a manual sexual act also known as which of the
following?
a) two in
the pink and one in the stink
b) two in
the coot and one in the boot
c) going
to town with one in the brown
d) all of
the above

Acronyms

6. The letters
MILF stand for which of the following?
a)
Men Into Licking Feet
b)
Missionary Is Lying Flat
c)
Mother I'd Like to Fuck
d)
Masturbating Is Like Falling off a log

16. David has a 12 ounce bottle of
Astroglide and a 3 ounce bottle of
Anal-Eze. He masturbates 5 times a day, and each time he uses .25 ounces of
Astroglide. He also has anal sex once a week, using .25 ounces of Anal-Eze.
Which of the following is true?
a)
he will run out of Astroglide first
b) he
will run out of Anal-Eze first
c) he
will run out of Astroglide and Anal-Eze at the same time
d) none
of the above

17. Jeff,
Ron, and Marco are, not necessarily in this order, a top, a bottom,
and a switch. The top, who is the shortest of the three, is from out of
town. Jeff, who is Ron's neighbor, is taller than the bottom. If the three
of go to a sex party held at Jeff's house, which one will definitely not get fucked?
a) Marco
b) Ron
c) Jeff
d) Not
enough information

18. Joyce can reach orgasm in 15 minutes through vaginal
intercourse alone.
She can come twice as fast if her clitoris is stimulated also, and if nipple
stimulation is added it will increase the speed with which she reaches
orgasm by another factor of two. If Joyce has a three-way with her husband
and her best friend, and her husband wears a vibrating cockring and bangs
her while her best friend sucks her tits, how quickly will she come?
a)
2 minutes 30 seconds
b) 3
minutes 45 seconds
c) 5
minutes
d) 30
minutes

19. Willie's
penis is bigger than Donald's. Albert's penis is
smaller than
Willie's, but bigger than Jacob's. Tom's cock is smaller than Jacob's, but
bigger than Donald's. Jacob's meat is bigger than Donald's but smaller than
Albert's. Tom does not have the smallest dick. Albert does not have the
biggest dick. Tom is smaller than both Albert and Willie. Which of them
has the smallest cock?
a)
Willie
b) Jacob
c) Donald
d) Tom

20.
On Saturday night, Cindy the
stripper took home $800. One half of that
amount was from regular tips, and the other half was money she made from
giving lap dances. If she gave 16 lap dances, how much money did she average
per lap dance?
a)
$15
b)
$17.50
c) $20
d) $25

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