By then, I was not surprised that the operator could find no
humor in Harbor Springs, Michigan. Indeed, I was convinced that she could not
find her derriere with both hands.

The answering machine civilization has spawned some
interesting reactions. My friend Jim Maiolo used to have a recorded message which
just said, “Hello…Hello…Hello. This gahdam telephone.” Then it hung up. Handled
robo solicitations really well, but didn’t amuse the Pastor.

Another result of pervasive recorded messages is the rise of
BPO – business process outsourcing. You’ve heard the ads from companies who
will rent you a real human being to answer the phone.

I decided to do some research. Our local phone company,
Charter Communications, still has a real human being on hand to help if the
recording doesn’t fulfill your needs.

I was curious and called the local 411 to find out if those
human beings are employees of Charter or if they are evidence of BPO – Business
Process Outsourcing.

The operator sent me to her supervisor, who transferred me
to her superior, who told me I would have to talk to the business office, to
which she transferred me. The business office telephone was answered by a
recording. Press one if you are interested in purchasing television service.
Press two if you are calling about internet service. Press three if you wish to
report an outage.

We have become a nation of sheep. We can do only what
programmers expect us to do.

I just finished reading George Orwell’s 1949 novel, Nineteen Eighty Four. Itdescribes in chilling detail the lives of a
programmed people. It has taken more than twice as long as Orwell predicted, but Big Brother
is among us.

Listen carefully, as our options have changed. So have
yours. Dial one for English.

Isn't it the most frustrating thing to call a business or doctor and get press "1" for...., press "2" for.... This sort of thing drives me up the wall. The only place I have success lately is the Hospital ICU to check on my father. A person answers and actually gives me his nurse!

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