(My boss loves Christmas more than any other person I have ever met. One of my coworkers has decided to challenge her to a decorating contest. This conversation happens after he comes to see us on day two since we started. It looks like someone vomited Christmas.)

Coworker: “Oh, my God.”

Boss: “It’s cute, right?!”

Coworker: “I was having a great day until I was told to come to see this.”

Boss: “It looks good!”

Coworker: “You realize I have to crush you now. I love you all, but you will suffer a terrible demise.”