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WTF is on Kurt Russell Lip? Goldie Hawn Wants Out!

This is nothing like we’ve ever seen before. Kurt Russell is morphing into the loch ness monster right before our eyes. Goldie Hawn has one leg out the door. Kurt’s lip is more gross than Goldie’s Hawn’s hands without lotion. The union has survived nearly 35 years of awesomeness, but rumors claim now they’re living apart.

Did Kurt Russell eat a diseased whore’s stripper poochie or what? We’ve all had a fever blister on our lip, but Kurt has tree bark growing from his bottom lip. A rope of of grotesque, blood filled, scabs are hanging across his chin like loose teeth.

“At the beginning, you want to see each other all the time. But for a healthy, long-term relationship, 68 percent of the time is good,” Hawn said in a recent interview. We think she just can’t stand looking at the unpleasant crusty scabs.

“I’ve never seen anything quite like these,” said Dr. Stuart Fischer, who has not treated Russell. “They need to be examined immediately.”

“He needs to have these looked at and have a physician conduct immediate tests,” said the expert, who hasn’t treated the actor. “They could be the result of a serious infection.” – RadarOnline

Do you think Kurt has a disease? Some say it could be cancer. Oral sex and throat cancer nearly crushed Catherine- Zeta Jones and Michael Douglass’ showmance. Is Goldie Hawn wrong for ditching Russell during his elephantine mouth herpes crisis? Would you still kiss your lover if they had Kurt Russell’s lip boils decorating their face?