My guide to cheating drug tests has become one of the most popular articles on SC. Here are some common questions we get regarding drug tests, and the answers to them!I have been clean 2 weeks, what are my chances of passing a drug test for THC?
Depends. If you are an athlete with low body fat and regularly exercise, you have a good chance. If you’re an average person (normal or more-than-average body fat) but only smoke once or twice a week you’ve also got a good chance. You can improve your chances by diluting your urine and supplementing with creatine/B12. Even a heavy smoker will often pass with 2 weeks clean and dilution. It’s just not a guarantee.

Do any drug tests test for gender?
No, neither a panel/EMIT test, a radioimmunoassay test, nor a GC/MS will ever test for gender, DNA, age, or anything other than presence of drugs and legitimacy (meaning if it’s real or not). Checking for DNA or those types of things without permission would be a huge violation of privacy and your medical rights.

Does a drug test check for temperature?
Yes, in almost all instances drug tests will include temperature tests. It is normally going fail you if you’re above 99˚F (37.2˚C) or below 96˚F (35.5˚C). So try to keep your urine at body temperature – that is 98.6˚F (37˚C).

Do urine cleansers or detox kits work? Which one should I buy?
No, they do not work and you should not buy them. They are a scam that just gives you some basic supplements (creatine and B12) and tell you to drink a bunch of water. Instead, dilute yourself by buying your own supplements for cheap and drinking a bunch of water. Or you can substitute urine and have a clean friend pee for you or buy synthetic urine to use.

Will a (5/7/9/10/11/12) panel test detect synthetic urine?
No, assuming it is good, modern synthetic stuff. They only test for temperature, presence of drugs, and presence of urea in some states (Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, West Virginia, California, Ohio, and Canada). Synthetic urine is specifically designed to beat panel tests, however if a test gets sent to a lab it could fail.

Will a lab test detect synthetic urine?
No, however you have to make sure it is formulated to account for pH balance, uric acid, and creatine. The most popular option is QuickFix Plus, and I have heard from a number of reliable sources that it works great.

Which synthetic urines are confirmed to work?
As of Sept 2014, I have had recent reports that QuickFix Plus and Dr. Green Agent X both pass drug tests with flying colors. If you know of a different one that worked for you, or have an update for us don’t hesitate to comment or email!

Can a test fail for lack of smell or color?
Nope, it will only fail if your temperature is over two degrees hotter or colder than 98.6˚F, or if there’s no urea present. Or if it detects drugs of course. However if you’re paranoid you can take some B12 vitamin before your test to give your urine a yellow hue.

How long does it take to pass a drug test for THC?
It depends on a number of factors. For the average smoker – someone who takes a few hits nearly every day – you can refer to the chart below. Keep in mind, this is just my estimation of your chance of passing naturally without any dilution or effort into getting clean (in fancy chart format). If you dilute your urine and take measures to expel the THC beforehand (by exercising and such) you can significantly improve your rate of success.Read more

Will synthetic weed show up on a drug test?
That depends on the test. Most panel tests will not catch fake weed products. This includes the banned JWH series and so forth. But more and more tests are including synthetic THC, and a GC/MS would easily pick it up. The best advice (besides not using them) is to simply avoid the banned and well-known substances and opt for the more obscure alternatives. This obviously opens yourself up to the danger of unknown reactions and so forth, so proceed with great caution.

How long will urine last stored?
Room temp – maybe 8 hours or so max, realistically a few hours
Refrigerated – about a month
Frozen – a year or more

Will my employer perform a GC/MS, and if not what type of test will they administer?
Sometimes an employer will simply give you a panel test. These are the little cups that have a strip on them that tell you if you pass or fail. These are both the easiest to trick and the most unreliable. Often times they’ll give you a “lab test,” which involves physically traveling to a laboratory where they’ll administer a slightly more elaborate test. The lab will check for temperature, presence of creatine, pH balance, and adulterants. The best way to cheat a lab test is to dilute or substitute synthetic/clean urine.

GC/MS tests are almost never performed for the average person. You pretty much only see these for a security clearance or something important like that. They’re too expensive for most places. If anything a GC/MS will simply be used to “confirm” a positive (failed) test result.Read more

What’s the best way to substitute urine?
Some people like to use a condom since they’re thin and transmit heat easily. Plus, girls can put them inside themselves to keep it the perfect temperature. However I don’t recommend that because it would be catastrophic if the condom broke.

Here’s my suggested method: Get a little bottle with a secure lid (like a 5 Hour Energy bottle) and make sure it’s perfectly clean. Put your substitute urine in there (either synthetic or clean from a friend) and wrap it with a hand-warmer. Keep a thermometer in there to make sure it stays between 96˚ and 99˚F (or 35.5˚ to 37˚C). This is an easy method as long as nobody is watching. You can also spend money on a whizzinator though I don’t think that’s necessary.Read more

Will my drug test look for alcohol or cigarettes?
Unless your test is for insurance purposes, normally it will not. Sometimes for probation on a DUI, underage drinking or “Minor in Possession” they will test for alcohol but it is a very crappy test and you can literally drink the night before and still pass. There’s a separate test (the EtG test) specifically for alcohol that can go back 72 hours and you’d know if they were using that one.

My take home test gave me a very faint line, did I fail?
No, any line no matter how faint on your take-home test means you passed the test. It’s counter-intuitive, I know. As long as it shows up you’re good. If it’s blank then it means you’ve failed the test.

Is there any way to beat a hair test?
Now I’m not absolutely sure on this, but there is new evidence that suggests using hair relaxers can help pass a hair test significantly. Something like 95% of the THC was mitigated in some experiments. Other than that, no.

How long should I work out before the test?
Any fat you can burn off in the weeks before your test is great. Try to sweat out as much of the fat as you can (meaning lots of cardio), then about 2-3 days before your test stop working out and load up on fat. This will help remove the fat-laden THC from your body and then mix in clean fat to reduce the concentration. Combine this with dilution and it will work wonders!Read more

Which drugs will not show up on a drug test (urine)?Keep in mind the following could result in false positives, and you could always just get faulty tests, but these drugs should not trip your standard panel drug test:

Ketamine*

Tramadol*

Fentanyl*

Muscle relaxers (Carisoprodol, Cyclobenzaprine, etc)*

MDMA*

LSD

Mushrooms

Mescaline (Peyote, Peruvian Torch, San Pedro, etc)

Kratom

DXM

Various synthetic cannabinoids (avoid the banned ones like JWH-018)

Nitrous

Research chemicals (2c-*, DO*, *-NBOMe, etc)

Tobacco

*The marked drugs WILL show up on a lab test, but the rest will pass.Read more

Which legal drugs can false positive for illegal drugs?
Keep in mind I’ve never heard any success stories of people using the “false positive” excuse to explain a bad result. But these are known to false positive, and you should avoid them before a test if you’re trying to trick one:

Any cough syrup – DXM or dextromethorphan is an opioid agonist, and it can confuse a test into thinking you have opiate metabolites in your urine.

Allergy medicine – Anything with pseudoephedrine or any -ephedrine can trip a test for amphetamine or MDMA usage. Allergy meds also commonly have DXM as well.

OTC or prescription Stimulants – It should probably go without saying that things like Adderall (amphetamine salts) would trip a test for amphetamine, but now it’s said. No excuses.

“Legal weed” blends (or synthetic cannabinoids) – Ever since the K2 and Spice craze of 2010, more tests have been including these drugs in their line-up. They will show up under THC.

Hemp oil, hemp seeds and poppy seeds.

Read more
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If you have a question of your own, make sure it isn’t answered already on this page (ctrl+f to help you find what you need). If not, comment there or email me at lotus@stonerculture.com and I’ll answer as soon as I can!

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