Are Some People Really Toxic?

According to Psychology Today, the way to deal with a difficult, aka “toxic” person, is to “limit your time with this person or end the relationship—and don’t look back.”

Is there someone in your life that you would like to be done with, and then never look back? You can find justification for this attitude in pop psychology, but not in the Bible.

Jesus said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:27-28 NIV

I have a student like that right now. You might say he really knows how to push my buttons! It’s like he wants me to dislike him. After repeated insults, disrespect, and defiance, I said to him, “I’m done with you!”

The Lord has not let me forget it! He says, “That’s not an option.” He reminds me that it’s a good thing He didn’t feel that way about me when I was (let’s just say) sowing my oats. No, God never left me when I left Him. He still loved me when I was rebellious and sinful. And He was faithful to bring me back to Him, even though I did nothing to deserve His great love, mercy, and forgiveness.

This is why I love Jesus. He loves me unconditionally! Isn’t that what we all need? – what the whole world needs – TO BE LOVED?

I believe God puts certain people in our path for a reason. There may be someone in our life that is difficult to love. It might not be forever, but while they’re around, we must show them God’s love.

Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them ….. Love your enemies ….. Then your reward will be great and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:32-36

If God puts an “unlovable” person in our path, we’ll know it. He’ll make sure of that. We may think we aren’t strong enough to love that person, but we can count on the Lord to give us the grace we need. He said,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Amen! Praying for them is a good place to start – especially since you can do that without actually BEING with them. 😉
You might remember my post “Gotcha!” (August 31 of last year) when I was awakened in the middle of the night to pray for the most unpleasant kid in my class, and what came of it. I think as a teacher, you would relate.

It sounds like your student desperately needs you to prove that you accept him NO MATTER WHAT.

As a child abuse survivor, I had to overcome a lot of trust issues, I used to ‘test’ people (it sounds like he may be doing that to you), by treating them badly in order to see if they were also going to abandon me, as so many others had in the past. My husband bore the brunt of that.

I started to heal after I owned the abuse and confronted some of my abusers. They didn’t remember the abuse. I wasn’t willing to say it didn’t happen and so a relationship became impossible.

So I have thought a lot about the biblical model of separation. It is nothing like pop psychology; which is self focused and dismissive. The biblical precedent is interested in saving souls– we confront people who have sinned against us and separate when needed so that souls in denial of sin can be saved, if possible, and so that we can remain in Christ without being yoked to darkness. i.e. Paul urges separation from unrepentant sexual sinners in Corinthians for that reason; in that case I believe separation can, in extreme cases, be a way of ‘loving our enemies’ as Jesus commanded.

In the case of your student, though, it seems that for now he needs someone to see his ‘ugly side’ and love him and accept him; regardless. I’m glad you are willing to do that for him!! Keep up the good work❤️❤️

Aww I love this because it’s so true. God has really brought me a LONG way in being patient with folks that just can take you to the edge! I’m so glad God revealed to you that his children no matter how ugly we can be deserves grace and second, third…chances.