Dear UPS makers,
Thank you for making some really excellent products. My home has products of varying sizes made by several of your manufacturing colleagues, and they generally do a terrific job of protecting my sensitive electronics from the occasional power flicker.

I write, however, to ask you very nicely to QUIT with the dang BEEPING NOISES in your otherwise useful devices. The power has been out in my palatial abode for nearly three hours now, and I’d get some sleep were it not for the incessant hooting from self important UPS gadgets.

Yes, we know the powers’ out. The loss of the fans, AC, and lights was quite enough a clue. No need to rub in our “lives in the stix” factor. No need for inanimate devices to keep us awake telling us “hey, the power is still off”.

Nobody wants, or needs, these alarms. They were sold to you by the Vast Alarm Conspiracy. Done alarming every single thing in the hospital they went to you: flattered, you bought into their “your products’ intended function deserves attention” mantra. You were lead astray, I tell you.

I implore you, as a man losing sleep while ranting into an iPhone, Stop It. Stop with the alarms.