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What to do when there are no Geocaches

As many of you know, I travel occasionally for work. During the last two weeks, I’ve been to Missouri and Colombia.

I went to Missouri with a coworker. On the way into work one day, he started laughing when we passed by a field full of cows. I asked: “What’s so funny?” He said he heard a news report about a study that has just been completed that found cows chewing cud produce enough methane gas to account for 4% of the emissions creating global warming. The cute young anchor woman added, “just think how much more they’d find if they looked at the other end!” We both laughed.

When I travel, I always try to make the best of every opportunity. Most of the time, I try to get done and go Geocaching. There is almost always something unbelievable just around the corner. Colombia is a little different though. There are not many caches there (6 at the moment) but the people are always friendly and love to have fun. The project work did not take long (fortunately) and I was left with almost a whole day to do nothing. The factory owner offered to take me to the mountains! He also invited the aunt of the production manager (she lived in LA for over 20 years and spoke perfect English)

When we got to the mountains, my customer offered to take us horse back riding. I had never been but always wanted to. As I got on my horse, the horse let out a little gas. I don’t think either of them noticed. But, as we started up the trail, the horse kept letting out a little gas. One step, one more little escape of gas. The aunt was right behind me. After about 10 steps, she was laughing. The customer was laughing. I told the aunt about the study. I’m not sure which was more funny, the English version or the Spanish version.

And now for the rest of the story...Cute anchor woman...English speaking aunts...horse back riding in the mountains of columbia...what are you leaving out...or possibly Tom you want us the reader to install our own ending to this story of horse farts and foriegn intrique. Jake you must have a good ending to this story?

And now for the rest of the story...Cute anchor woman...English speaking aunts...horse back riding in the mountains of columbia...what are you leaving out...or possibly Tom you want us the reader to install our own ending to this story of horse farts and foriegn intrique. Jake you must have a good ending to this story?

Just about every ending I can think of is R-rated . . .

Now if Hiram finished the ending he would no doubt drop his Garmin while on horseback, the farting horse would crush it under foot before it rolls over the side of the mountain . . . at which point Hiram would dive over the side of the sheer cliffs to rescue his beloved Garmin which is at this point bouncing off rock after rock on its descent down the mountain. Fortunately, the falling Garmin and now Hiram would end up plunging into a deep lake beside the mountain . . . unfortunately he would have to fight a ravenous Kraken which has mistook his Garmin for a Triscuit.

And of course at some point the cute anchor woman and the mysterious English speaking Aunt would leap to his rescue . . .

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear."

Well, I left out a lot of the office politics that accompany every trip to our corporate headquarters. But, trust me, some of it was wicked funny.

As for Colombia, I really should write some of those stories down because no one can make up stories like the ones that happen everyday. Truth IS stranger than fiction.

For example, the Aunt has a story. The woman is the Aunt of the production manager who is a young woman who went to college in Dayton Ohio. The aunt was an illegal alien in Los Angeles. She has two children, 16 and 18 there. She was deported last November and very much wants to return. It is very confusing for people in other parts of the world when we refuse to let them come to the very country that professes to want other countries to "give us your tired, your hungry, your poor" and then turns them away.

Unfortunately the very major problem I have is with the Illegal aliens who have no respect for our laws. It's not the the so-called older years ago where the people coming into this country at least tried to learn our language and were proud to become Americans. Now it seems a lot but not all of the illegals now have more rights than we do and have no respect for our laws or anything. I think it is a pretty sad state of affairs when we have to now print just about everything now in 2 or 3 different languages. What happened to going to school to learn our language or even attempting to? Try to get illegals to recite the pledge of allegiance or sing the star spangled banner. I could rant on and on but I think you get my drift.

So much for getting off topic I guess and Sorry!!!

Just smile it won't crack your face

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

The rest of the story...turning the next page in this novel of intrique and foriegn espionage we find our hero, Tom and his female companion, Connie, the extemely beautiful CBS anchor woman, along with the english speaking guide returning from the secret lab high in the Columbian mountains. When suddenly, awaken from his daydream of life with Connie and the money they are about to make, by a loud ripping fart from his horse. This loud noise is all that the C.I.A. hiding in the cover of the jungle needs to pinpoint the drug dealers where abouts. Taking to a Colunbian prison to spend the rest of his life, it doesn't look good for our hero...The next chapter finds Hiram armed only with his trusty Garmin, two bottles of guiness, and a fire axe he got from FFJ making his way through the jungles of Columbia.....

Who knew

Originally Posted by vicbiker

The rest of the story...turning the next page in this novel of intrique and foriegn espionage we find our hero, Tom and his female companion, Connie, the extemely beautiful CBS anchor woman, along with the english speaking guide returning from the secret lab high in the Columbian mountains. When suddenly, awaken from his daydream of life with Connie and the money they are about to make, by a loud ripping fart from his horse. This loud noise is all that the C.I.A. hiding in the cover of the jungle needs to pinpoint the drug dealers where abouts. Taking to a Colunbian prison to spend the rest of his life, it doesn't look good for our hero...The next chapter finds Hiram armed only with his trusty Garmin, two bottles of guiness, and a fire axe he got from FFJ making his way through the jungles of Columbia.....