Today, I’d like to talk about the much acclaimed scene from the latest episode of Game of Throne, where Tyrion Lannister spoke in at his murder trial for King Joffrey. If you haven’t seen it, the video is below. I’m not here to discuss the excellent acting, through – I’m here to talk about the power of this scene, and how it applies to reality. He saved the city from an attack at the end of Season 2. Not only did he never get credit for it, but now they want to execute him. How many of you can relate to Tyrion? Not in the sense of being accused of murder (for the second time, and being set up, for the second time), but in the sense of you tried to help people, and they turned on you? You saved their skin, and all too soon the thanks was forgotten and the minute it was convenient, they turned now you’re the bad guy. People don’t care where they lay blame, as long as it’s not on themselves. They’ll betray anybody. Here we see one of the most unflattering traits of humanity. Let them find someone that they believe serves their interests better, and they forget all you’ve done and cast you off. You can burn for all they care. They found something better. It’s one thing human beings have in common with the devil. I know you don’t like that, but it’s absolutely true. People can be jackasses, plain and simple. Pride is the sin that led to the fall, and pride is the thing that keeps tripping us up, over and over. Memory is short for blessings and long on offenses. The Game of Thrones isn’t just fiction; it’s reality. People play the “world” game to win every day, and the players don’t care who they use, step on, or hurt in the process. “It’s not personal” is a favorite saying, but the truth is that it turns all too personal when somebody else turns the game on them. Whether it’s position, power, or money they play for, then you better know that you can count on no loyalty from them. Anything other than God’s will and purpose is the wrong answer. If they don’t abide by this, then people are nothing more than tools to them. Once they’re done with you, they’re done with you. It’s no wonder so many people are walking around with two ton chips on their shoulder. Between playing the game and being played for the game, it can make you cynical. There are a lot of angry people in the world, and they tend to either build a wall to isolate themselves from being hurt, or they lash out and hurt you before you can hurt them. Neither way is right. The right answer is the one Tyrion came up with: let God decide. Of course, in our case, the trial isn’t by physical combat. It’s spiritual combat. And in a way, that’s the harder route to take. Patience doesn’t come easy, especially when people are trying to make you a victim and break you with circumstances. But you have to remember one absolute truth that can never be denied, and it’s a truth that I’ve come to discover that most people either don’t know or don’t comprehend: when you curse others, you really curse yourself. Truth always makes itself known, and it’s usually at a time and place where it’s mighty inconvenient to those trying to hide it. The Bible calls it reaping and sowing in Galatians 6, but nobody had to tell me this. I opened my eyes, took a look around, and saw it for myself. Without fail, I see people that accuse others or put others in bad situations wind out accused and in bad situations themselves. It’s the only thing in life I’ve seen with a 100% hit rate. It’s enough to keep me straight, because life is hard enough without creating more drama or problems. There are two points to this entry, and to what you can learn from this scene. First, people are fickle. Popularity doesn’t last, nor does praise or favor. It’s a poor foundation to lay yourself on, because it will fail you. Somebody else always comes along that people like better, so it’s best to roll with what is and not take it to heart (the good or the bad). The people in your inner circle aren’t perfect, but they have a way of proving themselves when it matters most, so look to that. True character shows when the crap hits the fan, not when you’re on top of the world. People that stand by you when everybody else turns are like diamonds – rare, precious, and worth holding on to because they stand and shine when everything else breaks under darkness. Second, anger isn’t the answer. Lashing out only makes you bitter, and people just call you a jerk and go on their merry way, and building walls only isolates you from things that could be great blessings that build you up to a greater purpose. Don’t let the devil win by giving in to his nature. Root yourself in what’s right and trust that truth will prevail, and the curses people are sowing on you will be brought under submission by an authority that can’t be bribed, cheated, or cajoled into wrong. No, it isn’t easy, but the right way rarely is. The ultimate authority is untouchable and can be trusted far more than any man on this earth, or the demons riding them around. You may or may not see your reward in this world, but it will come, and you have to be ok with taking things on credit sometimes. The game of wordly success is never ultimately won. Somewhere, somehow, sometime, the price is always paid; and it’s usually catastrophic. You may think I see too much into this, but remember: fiction does mirror reality, sometimes in uncomfortable ways. Think about it. Writer’s do this all the time. Where, exactly, do you think our stories come from? That’s all today. Take care, and have a great rest of the week. Bye!

On this, my 38th birthday, I find my self pondering the progress of the past year. I suppose this is a natural thing to do on a birthday. On first glance it could seem disappointing, as there are no "major" changes to report, but that's actually deceptive. There have been changes in the past year, but they've been more in the way of "shifts" instead of what could be clearly defined as "changed." I suppose this sounds somewhat elusive, so of course I'm going to explain. The progress of the past year has actually been more in the way of building on things that have already been in motion. While it doesn't seem that much has changed - after all, life is progressing along very much the same today as it was a year ago - I can't say that I think about or feel the way that I did about life as I did one, two, or five years ago. In fact, as I ponder it, I notice that my paradigm has shifted quite a bit in the last 4 years. I suppose this is natural. My job changed and I finally broke into publication with my writing in 2010 - 2011, and while these things are "the norm" in my life right now, I see how incorporating those changes into my life has changed my view of life and the world. My basic morals haven't changed. That's not something that's likely to change. But the way you see the world around you and apply those morals can change, and I'm starting to see the evidence that it's happened. When you walk in faith long enough, you delve deeper into things, and that's certainly what's happened to me. So how have I changed? For one, I'm seeing a whole new application of the concept of "reaping and sowing," as described in Galatians 6:7. You all know that this is one thing that my grandfather was a big believer in, and I took it to heart. But this verse applies to more than just relationships with other people and how you treat them - it also applies to progress and purpose in life. In fact, if you shift two more verses you'll read that "in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart." (Galatians 6:9) After several years of hard work to re-establish myself professionally in my current workplace and to get my writing established, I see the value of patience in all that we do. If life really is a series of ups and downs, reaping and sowing, then that has big implications for all of life. If we choose to only allow ourselves to be happy on the mountaintop, when we're reaping the rewards of our labors, then we're guaranteed to be miserable (or at least, withholding our own happiness) at least 50% of our life. Folks, that just isn't acceptable to me. That's not going to do it. Sure, there are some people that enjoy being miserable and whining and complaining to get attention, but that's not the way I choose. I know from experience that there are blessings in every day because I've been through the major life changes when I looked back and realized that there were little blessings that I took for granted, and I was sorry for it. An example: before my writing was published, I used to do counted cross stitching and wrote short stories. Much to my surprise, I find that I have very little time for that now, between promoting my published works and creating new ones. I love my writing and pray daily that it will continue to grow and reach more people - in fact, I'm prayerfully striving to make a break into science fiction with Splinter this fall - but there are some days when I miss having the time to cross stitch, or to goof off on Writing.com with short story contests. I didn't realize how much time these things filled in my life until my writing grew to the point where I had to make decisions about what stayed and what went. I still stitch occasionally, but large projects are out now. And as for short stories, they take me longer to write, prepare, and complete than they once did. And ditto for the work move. I was glad to make it and still believe it was the best, but I didn't realize the little things I took for granted, like talking to a couple of my friends when things got slow, the great walking paths on the State House grounds, a covered parking spot or those outstanding subs for a great price on Tuesdays and Fridays. Yes, I've gained a lot through both changes. I wouldn't undo either of them or the world because I gained a lot more than I lost. But I did learn to not despise the small things, and to appreciate the small blessings that go with each day as well as the big things we work so hard to cultivate and grow in our lives. Some people say this means to "enjoy the journey on the way to where you go," but I think there's a deeper meaning than that. A devotion I read recently said, "God doesn't want you to be happy. He wants you to do what's right." That really hit me and helped me to get a grasp on my own paradigm shift. I used to think that the point was about being happy, and I actually worried for a little while, wondering if I'd ever be happy like I was before. I see now that I won't, because happy is a side effect. The purpose of life is not to serve our feelings, but to do what we're supposed to be doing and work hard to do what's right for our purpose in life. If you are faithful in well doing and obedient to the spirit, there's a contentment to your life that nothing - situations, circumstances, or other people and their attitudes (because that really reflects on them more than anything else, but that's a pondering for another entry) - can affect. You can rest in knowing that you're doing all you can, and that allows you to enjoy the blessings of every day, large or small. And contentment is better than happiness. It's more stable, because you can still see the blessing in what you have even if a thousand aggravations are bleeding out of them. It's built on a firmer foundation that gives you the patience to hold out for the "bigger picture" even if you don't understand what the point is (as is often the case). It's built on a trust between you and the Lord and nobody else can put their hands on it. And that can give you the courage to do what's right, even in the face of ridicule, opposition, or doubt. Happiness is transient and comes and goes with circumstances. Contentment is faith in action.No, the earth hasn't moved in the last year. Things look much the same today as they do every other day. But I know they aren't. I see how the work at the everyday levels is building to something new and better. I might not know what yet, but when it is revealed then I'll reap a reward in due season, and be glad I didn't lose heart. That's all today. I hope you have a great week. Bye!

I'm glad there are some people out there that have never been bullied, challenged, or have been forced to suffer at the hands of people with ill intentions. I'm glad you've never had to go "head to head" with people that believe you need to be "fixed" because they believe you're too idealistic or that your morals are silly or stupid. I'm glad there are people that never have to stand up to anything because they're never challenged and the world just falls at their feet. I'm glad they can confidently say "I don't get what your problem is" because they don't have any.

But you know what else? For all the security you project, I also pity you. I pity you because it's a false security. You never have to stand because you don't stand for anything. I pity you because you're blind to the realities that the world is bigger than you can possibly know, and that there are forces at work in this world and in the universe that you ignore because you can't put your hands on them. Because you don't see it with your eyes, you criticize. And you're on perilous ground.

Criticize my faith all you want. You will never turn me away. I believe in Christ and I believe in The Bible. I also believe in the one thing that makes most of you squirm and start screaming at me about why my faith can't be right: accountability. That's the one area where I'm called on the most. "If God is love, then He won't hurt us," people say to me boldly.

No, He won't. But others will. And if you do wrong, He won't save you from the consequences. He does love, He wants what's best. The Bible even says He wants no man to be lost. But we also have a choice, and it also says that believing in forgiveness isn't permission to sin. We know better and we're expected to act like it. If we don't, we will suffer at our own hand.

God won't hurt us, but we can hurt ourselves. And we do it plenty. All the time. Every day. Every book I've written is about people who refused to be obedient to what they should do, and they suffered until they woke up, realized what was right, and did it. I'm not a religious writer, but I won't allow a character to win by doing wrong. That's a personal conviction. Any victory from doing wrong is temporary, and I want to show readers the path to lasting victory.

For all that smirk and say "Oh, then you say God delights in revenge but He's also love?" remember this: King David was a man after God's own heart, but he still paid for the sin of adultery. The son he fathered through that sin with Bathsheba died. God was grieved by this sin and forgave David, but He didn't erase the consequences of doing wrong. And it's why David didn't make that mistake again. He feels the same way when we go on with our bad selves and set ourselves up in similar ways. He's not a "smitey God" (as someone on Facebook proposed), but He won't absolve accountability. He will correct us in love and hope we will learn and not cling to stubbornness and continuing to make the same old mistakes, over and over. If there are no consequences, we never learn. If we never learn, we never grow, improve, or get better. We have no compassion for others because we are isolated in ourselves. Lack of accountability is a cycle of self destruction, which is why God won't allow that to happen. And so squirm all you want but we are accountable. You might think you are beholden to no-one, and you're wrong. You're dangerously wrong. No, life isn't easy. It's hard and it hurts and it downright sucks sometimes. I'm not sure why some things are allowed to happen and I'll be honest enough to say that I have a "what good did THAT do?" list of my own. Sometimes I actually blog about things on this list. But I've learned this much in my 37 years on this planet:

1. I don't have all the answers; and

2. It's okay that I don't have all the answers. In fact, over the past couple of years, I've come to feel that I don't WANT all of the answers. That's more responsibility than I care for, and to me, faith is better than trying to process all of that.

Believe or don't believe - it's your choice, and I'm not going to beat you over the head with a Bible or argue theology. In fact, I see the fact that you argue as a good thing. Because if you argue, then you're thinking about God and faith. And if you didn't care at all, then you wouldn't go to all of that trouble , because nobody's got time for that.

I hate that song "When Peace Flows Like a River." It's a filthy lie. I suppose that statement deserves an explanation, so here it is: I went to a funeral for a friend yesterday that died from cancer. It's the third friend I've lost to cancer in 18 months. To say I hope I never see the face of this ugly beast again would be an understatement. Anyway, they seem to love this hymn at funerals. There's just one problem: No, it's not well with my soul. I don't understand why three people I know had to suffer like this. They were good people. They wanted to live. It seems so unfair that their lives were cut short when I look around and see people that don't appreciate a thing - or that play hard and fast, like they don't care about putting themselves or others in danger - and they keep going on and on.

I hate that hymn because it's arrogant and it's a lie. Are you ok with anything that happens? Life can whollop you and it's just "well, praise God and glory be." No folks, not in the real world. Real people get frustrated. Real people get angry. Real people are confused and hurt and don't understand. I'll admit that I'm a real person and my soul's got problems. I don't get it. In fact, there's a lot I don't get. Another reason I don't like this song is because it implies that faith means never questioning anything - just blind acceptance. You can reason out everything, even if the reason is simply "it's God's will." While that is true, and I suppose it all does boil down to that, it's been my experience that human beings aren't that simplistic. We do try to understand. We do ask questions. We do get frustrated and angry in our confusion and lack of understanding. It is through these struggles that we find what faith really is: Not a lack of questions, but an acceptance that we won't have most of the answers. That in the grand scheme of things it does make sense, and being ok with the fact that only God may know how it fits into that scheme. And most importantly, to realize that it's ok to not have the answers or to work through whatever processes we need to work through to get to this acceptance. That's where I'm at. My soul does hurt, and it's confused. I know all three of them are at peace now, and that there's a greater plan that I won't see this side of Heaven. Intellecutally, it's there. Emotionally, I'm still on the journey to that point. I miss them and those absences do hurt. It's hard to remember that they won't walk through that door at church Sunday morning any more, that they won't be at that committee function or in Sunday School or passing by at functions with their cheerful smiles. The reality that they're gone and never coming back is still stinging. And I don't think there's a thing wrong with that sting. It means I feel. It means I'm still human. It means I'm still alive. So no, it's not well with my soul, and I'm ok with admitting that. My soul is hurt and it needs to heal. I know the truth and accept it, but I'm just going to have to work through that process to get these pesky emotions at that same level. And I don't think I'm alone. Many others are on that same journey. I have plenty of company on this road. My comfort is that tomorrow is a new day. New mercies every morning. Great is thy faithfulness. Now that's one I can live with.That's all today. Happy Friday to you tomorrow. Bye!

Sherri the Writer

By day, I'm a program assistant. By night, I'm an independent author. My fiction is a dark mirror to the reality I see every day.