I sneak up on the side of these two noobs, and since there were two I wasn't going to surrender them, so I thought I would one ball them both.

I shoot twice, both break on one kid (woops)

the kid that WASN'T hit called himself out

the kid that WAS hit, sees the hits on his chest, looks at me, lays down on the ground, and empties an entire hopper on the bunker about 10 feet away from me.

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One second I'm walking. Next, grenade hits me. It was thrown from my side. It didn't explode. Kid comes up later to me and gets mad that I "didn't save it for him"

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I pulled a Mike, filled up with a new proto pod and "wtf... sticker?"

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On a particularly cold day, I shot two balls and I saw both balls confetti, so I thought "shit... either a barrel break or a chop"... take off the barrel, it's spotless on the inside... breach is spotless. 0_0

me: *walking up to another player (woodsball)* do you know where they are?
him: no... I think they are over there though I keep hearing shooting.
me: wait... wheres your armband? red or yellow?
him: yellow... why?
me: *lift gun barrel* surrender!!!
him: LOLWUT???!!!

My brother and I are in a Woodsball game and we move up behind the enemy lines. Then we make all away around but then we don't see anybody so we walk around for 15 minutes. So for that time I go see the ref and ask if the game is over and he's like "The game ended 20 min ago."

i went to this game where everybody uses rental markers and only gets 100 rounds a game. these two kids walk in with i'm assuming their parents. even though we had to use rentals, they brought thier markers and they didn't have hoppers, tanks, masks, anything else. the dad was walking around in the shop looking at markers while the kids and mom were signing in. the dad came back and was talking about how some of the markers were $1200. the one kid tells him that his gun costed that much and it is a dye. the marker has a little dye sticker on the right side near the breach. the dad agrees and turns to listen to the mom telling him to put the guns in the car because they can't use them and then i see on the left side of the marker it says spyder victor.

later during the games, we were playing zombies. headshots only and you have to walk. we were shooting spectrum that was hard as rocks. i was at the left 45 and i saw a kid back right in the open. i still had half my paint left so i unloaded. i've never saw anyone squirm so much. it was so funny. i never did hit him in the head, but after a few seconds i ran out of paint. i sat there laughing for the rest of the game.

yes, i only use a pistol. yes, i prefer it over any other marker. yes, my tiberius does cost more than your tippmann. yes, i will slaughter, i mean play you in a 1 on 1.
it makes me feel good to shoot people in thier feel goods
ANYONE can hide behind a rope of paint... yea... you're not that good

I accidentally pressed my trigger on my etek WTF THAT THING IS EASY TO PULL! don't know how I did it but I never saw the paint splatter so I'm like where the heck did this thing go, 2 seconds later I see this guy spitting out and hes like a paintball just missed my lip and it went inside his mask from behind him...LOLWUT?

When I shot a player twice who obviously hadn't ever played before and he ran up and bunkered me.

Another one was when I went to a scenario game and people were trying to hit each other with their butt stocks, but they took the stocks off their guns while they were hitting each other .and i wuz like LOLWUT??

This saturday i was at my local indoor field playing pump, I ran to a bunker and see a renter cross field standing there with they're gun down staring at me so i shoot them once in the mask and he fell backwards then stood back up and looked at me again so i shot him three more times then he ran back into his starting building for like 10 seconds then walked off the field.

slipping on the floor of a slippery indoor field as i tried to slide into snake. it was all slow motion. and i only had one loader full of paint on my 98c (because i was playing with rentals and didnt want it to be THAT unfair) and i didnt bring pods so i ran out of paint and started throwing the paint i found on the ground.

i was working at an indoor field, and i was on the field for a few games before i went back to staging. there was a fat guy who slipped of break and did a 'tuck and roll' all the way from house to snake side corner shooting all the way there.

This happens all the time at my field. For some reason, all the rentals think they have to stand behind the gate, and they're all too scared to move, so they just stay there. But one time one of our experienced tourny players just stood behind the deadbox and screamed at the top of his lungs spraying the entire field at ballsack level.

This happens all the time at my field. For some reason, all the rentals think they have to stand behind the gate, and they're all too scared to move, so they just stay there. But one time one of our experienced tourny players just stood behind the deadbox and screamed at the top of his lungs spraying the entire field at ballsack level.

even better. when a rental is playing behind the deadbox, then the people that get out still go behind it and some ballsy renter on the other team tried to bunker that one guy that is still in and unloads on all of them.

To get into the sport, i bought a spyder mr-1. Not the best gun, but it costs less to paintball if you're self-equipped. So I go speedballing one day...

Rental Player: WOAH!! Dude what kinda gun is that?
Me: It's a spyder mr-1
Rental: That's sick dude it has like a double trigger!
Me: Yea
Rental: It's like a machine gun or something! That's amazing! How much did it cost?
Me: Like $80 or $90

and the rental player was awestruck because of my apparently "awesome" gun which is about as good as the rental guns there. LOLWUT little kids...

Yesterday I was playing speedball with a pump at our local field and its me vs like 2 or three renters and one pops up and starts dry firing at me. He stays there for like thirty seconds and im like LOLWUT then peg him in the face. He thought he still had paint.

after I was out, I was in the deadbox, watchin the game, and I get shot square in the throat. from across the field. didn't see it comming AT ALL. It was more of a "LOLWA-cough! cough!, SHIT!!! than a LOLWUT

Not really my moment, but what the heck. One time I wore my ghillie suit to an indoor speedball field. The look on the cashier's face was priceless, as were the looks of the refs hanging out in the staging area.

"This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here." -Michael Scott (The Office Season 1, Episode 2)

This guy and his kid walk on. They're not rentals; they have matching jerseys and decent markers. Before they can even get on the field, the dad is yelling at his kid while the kid is trying to chrono his marker. Something about how the kid messed the marker up, he broke the hopper (the feedneck wasn't tightened), stuff like that. It was a bunch of easily fixed stupid stuff that the kid likely did nothing to mess up. What he could have said is "Here son, let me help you with that" or "Let me see if a ref can help us out so that we can have a positive father-son bonding experience." Instead he just yelled and whined and loudly blamed his son for everything he was doing wrong. It pissed me off. Usually when I play, I'm pretty gentle with the rentals and newer people. But this time, I decided I was going to be the first one to shoot this a-hole, no matter what. They start the game and he's on the other side and ducks into the back corner. I have to take out most of their team just to get to him (I was gentle). He's stuck in that same back bunker and I'm just shooting over his head where I suspect he'll pop up next. Sure enough, he does, and I get him in the mask, once. No bonus balling, nothing.

The dude flips out at the ref. Starts yelling that I was "goin' full auto" (I was semi, capped at 12bps, wasn't shooting more than 4-5bps) and that I hit him 5 times in the mask (you could see that I had obviously got him once). One of the other rentals had shot him in the ass as I got him in the mask, and said so. The guy yelled that the rental was full of crap, yelled at everyone but me. He wouldn't play another game that I was playing for the rest of the day. Every time someone asked, and I was playing, he was cleaning his marker or resting. I thought it was hilarious. I don't know if it had anything to do with what I did, but I didn't hear him yell at his son the rest of the day. LOLWUT... jerk.

I am gun fighting a guy in the bunker directly in front of me and he never shoots so I decide to hang out until he head checks one more time. He doers and I pull the trigger. A puff of Co2. No ball. We both kind of sit there my barrel pointed at his face and then he just pops back in and I wiggle my fucking BT spring feed so it feeds another ball >_>. Piece of shit.

Trying a new way to crawl in the snake, and i was going as fast as i possibly could up this snake thinking " wow this is so much faster this is nuts", im yelling at who im shooting at once i get the last knuckle and i see fingers pointing at me yelling and i look and my pack is literally dripping with paint. doh!

When I first started playing, maybe the third or fourth time, there was a dad and his kid and what appeared to be the kid's friend (not sure. He did have red hair) and both kids are about 10-11. So the dad and his son play throughout the day. The dad obviously had some military experience and the kid was pretty good as well (for an 11 year old)... the other kid though... kept talking SHIT the ENTIRE day (to the point where the dad even yelled at him to quit cussing) about how he kept getting headshots and how he bought a special pack (one of those valken two-podders on a clip belt) that "gives him slight of hand pro"... using one of those JT helmets, what looked like a spyder that fell off the top and hit every branch of the ugly tree, and just some pants and a sweater. The odd thing was though, he was completely spotless, and I never saw him fill his pods or hopper in staging either...

So come halfway through the day, during one game when he was on the opposite side, I got around behind their base so I thought "eh I'll barrel tag this little bastard". By very back, I mean I was touching the mesh fence of the field, and I start going up through their base slowly, and walking maybe ten yards I hear "I SURRENDER DON'T SHOOT". I'm sure you can guess who it was sitting down, behind me. So that was the first lolwut.

The second, was at the end of the day, when they started letting people play speedball. (Now, I am not making any of this up, I can assure you).

So the last game was me and my buddies on one side and the dad and two kids and another guy on the other. I get up to where I can see the kid, crouching down literally kissing the bunker he was so close, and my friend went up the snake and shot him. It hit him in the shin.

He screamed SO loud, stood up, opened up his hopper and threw the gun on the ground, emptied out his two pods on the ground, ripped off his mask, and walked off the field.

My very first game of paintball ever, it was a speedball match. And my badass friend who i thought was a god at the time cause he owned a ion . It comes down to a 1v1 me and him. Hes in the snake and im hiding behind a dorito. I see his head pop up so i shoot. And in slow motion i see him duck. And sadly the refs was right behind him. So the ref got nutshoted!! And i later learned it was his first day on the job. Now whenver i see that guy at the field i let him shoot me.

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave everybody wondering how the fuck you did it.

I got another one.... We were playing a D4 team on a hyberball field and we were spread out pretty thin and they went heavy left, eliminated two players leaving three pumps left (They all had Minis, Egos, and aXes) I am on the left when the mid pump goes out so I sprint trying to get to the god bunker when a guy with an Ego 09 chases me down... I slide into the god bunker and my little shotgun belt of 10 round tubes is covered in splatter and hits from getting shot in the ass but the ref decides "Oh well you can play on" So We sit there for about 3 seconds shooting at this guy before we finally get called out.

Couple of weeks ago I was at the field playing air ball. You have to remember that I am nominally a back player due to my size. I was at the can and a huge gust of wind blew up and well the bunker blew over. My fat ass had to dive into the snake! Not a lot of fun

The other day, I was playing pump and I was around the 30 or so in this recball field. I'm looking around and I see this guy running on the side of this hill to my left. He was at least a good 200 feet away and so I decided to take a pot shot at him. I gogged him and I was like LOLWUT?!?! Afterwards I was really ticked that I didn't have my GoPro....

Thanks BORG for all you have given to the paintball community. RIP. You will be missed.

Was playing a local woodsball scenario at Chaos Paintball. Our teams captain, 2 other guys and I are going towards blue sides base in the woods to hang our red flag. Well some big guy on our team comes around the corner and starts to pull the flag down. Our captain screams and I mean screams: "NO!!!!!! IM THE CAPTAIN AND I GET TO PULL THE FLAG!!!!!" So the guys is like ok geeze. All the sudden we start getting shot at from the blue team and the big guy then tries to shoot and jump over a log at the same time. He trips over the log, does a flip, and finally lands on his face and moons the entire place while getting shot out.

one kid with all 2011 gear and a dye nt was messing around and bonus balling rentals. promptly after gettin gogged by him, a nearby rental went on a bonzai run and totaled 3 eliminations. the best of which was hin unloading 3 shots to his chest and a perfect shot to the forehead. everyone in deadbox was awestruck.

>Be 15
>playing woodsball
>be only one on team with balls to actually grab flag
>running back to base with flag and little 10 year old is trying to direct me where to go
>running 180mph and go straight into wee man
>he gets launched i stumble relatively same place
>gun lying ontop of my mansack, look over kid kicking around obviously in pain
>try to comfort him and he accidentally kicks trigger of gun with the barrel lying ontop of the coinpurse
>feel unbearable pain
>wee man feels bad, picks up my gun and shoots me in leg again accidentally
>leg shot broke skin, didnt feel a damn thing i was in so much pain