Royal Fugs

I just really wish I could be present when people decide what they’re going to wear, sometimes:

I mean I, like most normal — okay, “normal” — people, often stand in front of my full-length mirror and say things to myself like, “does this sweater make my legs look short?” or “is this too much gold lame? Wait: IS THERE SUCH A THING?” But I feel like Marcia Gay Harden here must have asked a variety of hilarious questions when trying this on, all of which I wish I could have weighed in upon, and which surely must have included: “Is it obvious that I am reusing this year’s Halloween costume? I don’t think anyone coming tonight was also at my Edgar Allen Poe party. Maybe if I just make sure not to use the word ‘nevermore’?” or “Are those BIRD EYEBALLS in my wristlets?” and “Do you think the Endora-From-Bewitched-Going-to-a-Witch-Funeral look is played out?” and “Do you think Elton John will be pissed that I stole this from him?” The answer to all of those questions, if you’re keeping score at home, is YES.