Thursday, August 23, 2007

Boomer In Blue!

After proving that he's too sexy for the San Diego Padres, the Dodgers have signed veteran lefty pitcher David Wells to join their much-maligned rotation. The 44-year old Torrance native (who was raised by a bunch of bikers...as in Hells Angels-types) is expected to replace the beleaguered Brett Tomko as early as Sunday when they play the NY Mets. The Dodgers hope he'll infuse the same veteran spark that Greg Maddux did last year...though probably not as much. But hey, at least Wells is a former Red Sox, which makes manager Grady Little happy, and that his agent is not Scott Boras, which makes general manager Ned Colletti happy as well. Another happy Dodger will be setup pitcher Jonathan Broxton, who will soon be relieved to know that he's no longer the fattest guy on the team.

David Wells wasn't raised in LA, but he was born in Torrance. He was raised in San Diego. He graduated Point Loma High in 1982. He grew up around the Dago Hells Angels when they were in Ocean Beach. His mom was a 81 supporter.

Manifesto

A 100% Los Angeles native, the Militant Angeleno lives in a compound in an unspecified neighborhood of central Los Angeles. His life consists largely of his various adventures around the city, which are documented in this blog. The Militant is also multi-modal and is not dependent on any one mode of transportation, although he is most known for traversing the City's streets via bicycle. The Militant can be described as part-activist, part-superhero, giving the voice to the voiceless and silencing those who just plain whine too much. Partly because of his selfless motives, he prefers to refer to himself in the third person, as the first-person is too self-centered. The Militant is anonymous and goes to great lengths to protect his identity and is aided and protected by an unspecified number of operatives, who are sworn to secrecy as to his identity. Most important, the Militant's ultimate objective is not to be the Militant Angeleno, but to empower and enlighten other Angelenos, so that they may be militants in their own right. Oh yeah, Go Dodgers!

Contacting The Militant Angeleno

Do you have a question for the Militant Angeleno (sorry, all questions regarding his identity will be ignored)? Would you like to send hate mail (or love mail, even)? Do you want to know how you can join the Angeleno Militia? Here's how!