My name is Dana and I am shy. I don't like to talk much and I am tring to open up more. For years I have been tring to make sense of everything. I was raised as a Christian and I have never understood what they was tring to teach me. I am a very slow learner and I have trouble understanding what I read. I just feel that I may find some answers to questions if I can just find someone who understands me. So I found this web site through the Church of Satan link and I am holding back the fear I have hoping I will find the answers I seek. I am slowing reading everything and hoping I will understand it all. I just hope no one will get upset with me if I don't understand.

I use to own a copy of it and I gave it to a friend. I was going to buy a new copy for myself once I got away from my family. But things haven't worked out as planned. I am hoping to get a job soon so I can buy what I need. I have been out of work for a long time.I am hoping I can find more than that one book to learn from. It was alright for a start and I believe in it well enough. I am just worried that because I haven't been open for the past few years it's going to be harder for me to pick up where I left off. I have been lost in confusion for a few years and I just want to make sense of it all now. I am seeking the truth more than ever now.

Well it isn't a book one reads once and that's it. I don't know anyone that doesn't pick the book up quite often over many years.

But there is no rush for any of us. If you have to sort out your personal circumstances before continuing with your studies into this then that would be the wise thing to do. After all, there is no point causing unnecessary difficulties for yourself.

There are other books you can learn from. Most notably The Devils Notebook, Satan Speaks and The Satanic Witch - all by Anton LaVey.

There are quite a few more. But those would be the principle core of what you need to be starting off with.

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"u.v.ray blends the dark street poetry of Nelson Algren with the swagger and style of a young Iggy Pop."

Ok Thanks I will pick up the books as soon as I am able to.I know I can only go foward from here. But I do wish I didn't give the book away. I was just tring to help my friend see the truth about satan, because she believed in the wrong things (don't want to go into it). In the end the friendship is gone and she didn't want to give a long distance friendship a chance... but doesn't it always go that way.... or at least that is how it seems for me.I have been wanting to read the book again... just didn't want to choose a book over food.

Judging by what I have read that you wrote, I would say you are actually very good at opening up. I already feel like I know more about you than perhaps I should in the span of three posts. Of course, I do not mean for that to come across as rudely to you. Rather, I aim to complement you on your obvious success in your effort to open up more, if not to also suggest you might find it better to be a little more guarded in what details you reveal up front.

This is, after all, on the Internet. Many of the people here probably can be trusted, and I know that I trust a handful of them myself. Still, lots of nefarious types could be here, too. While it is only a matter of time that they are discovered and seen to the door, probably better not to give them too much information while they are still here, right?

If I could chime in on your last comment--and keep in mind I am not a member of the Church of Satan, let alone the Priesthood--no Satanist here would have you choose to buy the Satanic Bible over being able to feed yourself. If your choices are food or the Satanic Bible, rest assured, the Satanic Bible can wait.

In the meantime, while you get your work and finances where you want them, you can read what is available at the Church of Satan website nearly for free. The only real cost there is whatever it costs you for Internet access.

I also am new here Ashade, and like you I was raised in an x-ian home(if you can call it that). I feel you are very good at expressing yourself and thoughts. I am not a registerd member of the CoS, but I have read the satanic bible and it will conferm the value of vital existance. Buy food, the satanic bible will be around for a long time. You will find it easier to read on a full tummy. Also, in reading you second post I find you to be a rather quick learner with a mind to discover whatever truths you can. we are similare in this as well.

ChaoticBliss: What can be more interesting than takeing a seat at olympus and conversing with the Gods.Listen closely, and try to learn. If you stay and do not learn, madness may find you.just a friendly note.