I am the founder and CEO of T3, the technology-fueled creative agency with offices in Austin, New York and San Francisco. For the past 25 years, I’ve helped leading national clients leverage creativity and new technology to transform both their businesses and brands. I am also part of the lead generation of women executives and entrepreneurs who have been at the forefront in solving challenges from glass ceilings to leadership and work/life balance. As a result, I speak across the globe on marketing, innovation and entrepreneurship and am very involved in mentoring women leaders and amplifying their success through the Committee of 200 and Womensphere. The counterpoint to all that is the fact that my husband, Lee, and I run our Double Heart Ranch, where we raise Texas Longhorns and work to return our piece of the rugged and picturesque Texas Hill Country to its native state.

Insights From Tony Soprano

A few minutes after I learned about the untimely death of actor James Gandolfini, I picked up the phone and called my husband. I said, “Tony Soprano died,” as if he were a close friend or relative. We talked about how much we had related to him. Not because he was an incredible actor or because of how his role redefined television as we knew it, but because as business owners we shared the same level of responsibility. Although he was a reprehensible character, this was one of the few television shows that gives insights into the pressure, emotional roller coaster and responsibilities a leader faces.

Take Time to Reflect

As the theme music came up and each episode of The Sopranos began, there was Tony driving alone on the Jersey Turnpike. This always grabbed me because there have been so many times I have been alone in my car, sorting out issues, making decisions and “talking to myself” about what had to be done in my business or family. Often it is the only time of the day you have by yourself. Once you hit the office, there are back-to-back meetings, phone calls, endless emails and hurried travel. Then when you get home, as Tony did, there are family members who need attention, care and, especially in Tony’s case, discipline. Finding a time each day to be quiet, meditate or let the small voice in your head steer you is absolutely imperative for sound leadership.

Don’t Be Afraid to Make the Big Decisions

Although ruthless and dark, there was the softer side of Tony. He could switch from a belligerent, violent gang leader to a docile, vulnerable character. Through my career I have had to stand strong and make tough decisions that were ultimately for the good of the whole, but seemed harsh on a given day. In the early days of starting my own business as a female entrepreneur, I had to go the extra mile to break through in a man’s world. However, ultimately we are all vulnerable and when we saw that side of Tony’s character, once again we can say, wow, he goes through what we do.

Being the “go to” person in your business and family is just plain hard. The buck stops with you. When all else fails, you have to make the call and do the best you can to hold everyone together in good and bad times. Sometimes the pressure is so much that we have to find a way to escape even if it is for a few minutes. That is why, although illicit, we could give Tony a bit of a break when he overindulged. No matter how long you are in the decision-maker role, it is really never easier. The consequences you must weigh tied to the emotions that surround them are what makes us human.

Don’t Forget Why You Do What You Do

Tony was an entrepreneur. He provided jobs for people, mainly family and friends. I am not suggesting I would ever want a job like he provided, but nevertheless, in his own sinister way, he was helping those families put food on the table. He demanded loyalty from them. He tried to provide an overarching sense of family. As an entrepreneur, besides providing a living for my family, one of the main things that gets me up and ready to go each day is the fact that my company is providing jobs for about 200 people and thus their families. The good work we collectively do for our clients is rewarding and makes the bad times less painful.

So goodbye, James. For in that golden hour we watched you as the boss of the Soprano family, we could escape and then think, thank goodness I didn’t have to deal with things as serious as Tony today.

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