Adjusting the tone to make it significantly more clinical would be a good start. Gender pronouns aren't necessary, neither is a name for the item, other than SCP-597.

Some of the descriptive stuff is conjecture. I can't imagine any way that one would determine that the exact chemical makeup of the milk is the same as the mother of the thing drinking it, or why that would even come up as a reasearch question.

The procedures also drag on a bit, and there's some repetition throughout the whole thing that the article could do without.

I also see that you have failed to use metric. I shall correct this now.

Fixing the { DATA EXPUNGED }'s to [DATA EXPUNGED]. In agreement about the tone. Maybe the crossed-out description could be retooled as an observation log or document written by the doctor who killed herself.

…dammit, there's a story that is VERY close to this. very creepy and all, but it may be a little too close to "rip off" status…"Mother's milk" was the title, or something like that…if anyone knows what the hell I'm talking about, let me know

When i was writing this i didn't feel it was that original or groundbreaking, it wasn't a "wow no ones done this before" moment like i have occasionally with some of my other SCPs, but i definitely didn't rip off anything, and if thats the reason you're down rating it find it ridiculous, the images and ideas are very common and universal; just think of all the tribal statues and images of mother goddess. All i did was add a horror twist. I'm not plagiarizing, and since this isn't an overdone cliche the question of originality shouldn't really be a problem.

Fair enough…just some eerie similarities. Still, it's not one i enjoyed, I'm afraid. It needs a more clinical tone, but it may have promise in editing. Just a personal opinion, I'm sure others will find this wonderfully creepy.

I listened to it on Pseudopod. It started with a man who developed an extra nipple that started producing black milk. His wife/girlfriend started suckling, and then the whole thing degenerated from there.

Oops, I was thinking of Got Milk by John Alfred Taylor.

There was one called Mother's Milk by Strahinja Acimovic, but I haven't listened yet.

If anyone would like to edit this feel free; I'm not going to, i don't see anything wrong. Just two things i would like whoever does it to keep in mind.

1)The crossed out containment procedures serve two purposes which make them less effective as an observation log, they create suspense, you can obviously see that something is going terribly wrong without knowing what it is at the begining, and would be redundant at the end when everything (it's powers and what it does) are already established, and they are unique in the fact that they show that not just some random doctor was effected, but the higher ups who write the procedure themselves, which demonstrates just how perversive it is and is kind of disturbing, because they're normally untouchable. Actually having the SCP effect the writing of the report is something that hasn't been done alot, and something I would like to keep, not turn it into another run of the mill "drove the doctors insane" log. It really takes it to a new level, distinguishes it from the others, and shows how potentially dangerous The Mother is.

Also it's kinda of a jab/reference to the fact that humanoid/sentient SCPS seem to get lot of luxuries, and this one actually has that be an effect of the SCP, and shows what kind of mindset The Foundation workers would have to be to cater to any SCPs whims. Its frightening that they're ordering completely wrong things, in the containment procedures, in what seems to be a normal tone. And the thing i find terrifying is the fact the the personnel surrounding the SCP actually try to continue this by only hiring/allowing those who would be susceptible to this type of thing for the job. I hoped it would make one think halfway through just what was going on there, doing that time period.

Opinions?

2) The reason they tested to see if the milk is identical to the mother of the person sucking is obvious; while sucking the person can survive just on the milk. So they wanted to see if the milk that comes out of the SCP was unique in itself, and could be used to their advantage, bottled and drank in the field. Of course they would run a gauntlet of tests on the milk, and eventually they would have to compare them to see if there are any differences. I meant the species of the mother by the way, but the milk of that specific mother works as well, and they could find it out if they used a baby as a test subject, while the babies mother was still lactating.

Or you could depower the "OMG it even takes over the report writers" angle and just focus on the disturbingly squicky effects on people and organisms that actually interact with it. An SCP doesn't have to be be horribly hard to contain in order to be horrifying. You don't need to "take it to a new level" - The Mother's squicky nature is already more than enough to distinguish it.

That said, you could certainly include the crossed-out part as a cautionary example of what it could do to researchers before everyone figured out what it was doing and properly contained it.

Well said, I'll leave the crossed out section as a cautionary example and not make too big of a deal out of it.

You say focus on the more disturbing angles-haven't i done enough of that? What more should i add? (might add a couple more choice phrases, here and there, maybe in the form of journals, like "milk slicked chin" and "bloated rats" and "men and women on their knees, suckling escatically alongside the creatures of the jungle, swine, cows, and apes)

You say focus on the more disturbing angles-haven't i done enough of that?

That's precisely what I'm talking about. The existing squick is great - you don't need anything besides that. It's the overpowered "takes over the report writers and subverts its containment" that the entry would be better off without.

You don't need to add anything - the stuff you just mentioned sounds like it'd take away from the clinical tone. You just need to keep refining what's already there.

As for the the extra ideas, trust me, I've thought of them, but decided not to include them (the second one was actually going to be how the mother made the milk, and grew bigger) because not everything has to kill and sometimes, there are fates worse then death. Fates grosser then death too. It kind of plays into the semi subconscious fear of being lessened ,weakened by a over nurturing feminine figure taken to the extreme, not just controlled and turned into a momma's boy, these people end up blind retarded curled up paraplegics who wet and crap themselves every day (that i added in the new version, just to make things extra clear)

At first I thought this was pretty stupid- "Oh ho ho, a giant pile of titties, zip-a-dee-doo-dah" But as I read on it got pretty creepy, and then it got really disturbing, since I find the idea of adults acting like infants particularly squicky in more ways than one.

I never thought I'd see the day when tits gave me nightmares. But you, my friend, have shown me the light.