Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Mr. Charlie Harary, Esq. is a prolific speaker who has traveled all over the country and abroad speaking for organizations, schools, universities and institutions on a variety of topics and to audiences of various sizes and affiliations. He has created dozens of videos that have received worldwide attention reaching hundreds of thousands of people in over 15 countries.

Mr. Harary is the CEO of H3 Capital LLC, a private equity company based in New York.

Prior to H3 Capital, Mr. Harary was the First Vice President of Residential Operations and Legal Counsel of RXR Realty, a multi-billion dollar Real Estate Company based in New York. Prior to RXR, Mr. Harary was an associate in Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison and Davis Polk & Wardwell. He received his J.D. from Columbia Law School where he was awarded the James Kent Scholar and the Harlan Fiske Stone Scholar.

Mr. Harary is an Associate Professor of Management and Entrepreneurship at the Syms School of Business in Yeshiva University. He is also a Senior Lecturer for the Orthodox Union, Aish Hatorah and NCSY.

In addition, he is an active community leader. He is the founder and president of Milvado Inc., an organization that develops innovative methods to teach spirituality in relevant and modern ways. He is a member of the Executive Board of the OU as well as the Founding Chairman of its Young Leadership Cabinet. He is also a member of the Conference of Young Jewish Presidents.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 68

(66)
Hinda,
May 28, 2015 9:06 PM

Very nice, short, sweet and to the point. I always enjoy watching Charlie Harary's presentations.

(65)
Jaya,
December 20, 2013 6:28 AM

God!

Very moving !

(64)
Michal,
October 24, 2012 8:11 PM

Our soul knows more than our brain can imagine

I loved that video. It told me: You are right, when you run to God, when you are suffering. I know well, that this illness or sadness He Himself sent or let happen. Well knowing, that He is responsible for it, My soul longs to run to him. Seems stupid. But our loving connection makes me do this. He has taught me a whole long life, that He loves His children. - So, maybe I am like the boy in the video, already 8 years old. (Only a metapher.)

Everything makes sense. Just like the baby couldn't understand why he has to undergo innoculations (isn't there a less painful way to get shots); so too we human beings don't understand going through the painfull times in our lives. When your body tenses up against the physical pain, it feels worse. When you don't fight it, it's sometimes less
intense.
When the righteous moshiach will come all will be revealed. Hopefully we will hold on til then with the knowledge that Has-em loves us.

(59)
Yaakov the Doubter,
July 9, 2012 6:12 AM

Please Respond

My problem with this argument is that you can't equate the actions of a human father with those of God. The father observes the world in which he lives, recognizes that inoculation is a necessary pain in order to avoid greater pain in the future, and submits to the nature of reality. If the father had the choice to forgo the pain of the inoculation and magically just will his son to be forever healthy, he surely would. God creates reality. He is not limited the way a father is. If He wanted to create a world in which people don't have to endure pain, He could have done so. If He wanted to create a species capable of understanding why He does things the way he does, He could have done so. Thus, while we cannot find fault with the father who does the best he can given his human limitations, God has inflicted pain and ignorance upon us. How are we to be grateful to an entity so cruel?

Anonymous,
August 26, 2012 10:48 PM

Pain has a purpose too

"It's not that He can't explain it, it's that we can't understand it." Yes, G-d is perfect , All Powerful and loves us. So everything He does is absolutely necessary and the best option. The pain is not just for the sake of some goal -- there must be some goodness in the pain itself.
What's the benefit of pain? What is it that cannot be acheived without the pain? What benefit is there to not understanding G-d's reasons?
Judaism has a lot of wisdom that helps explain these concepts, but ultimately, I don't know. And that's not because G-d can't explain it, it's because I can't understand it.
If you take a survey of your life, you'll find it obvious that G-d loves you very much. Why the pain? Human understanding of the big picture is no better than an infant's.

(58)
Anonymous,
July 8, 2012 12:01 AM

thank you for the wonderful video ..i was rly moved by it !!

(57)
Anonymous,
June 13, 2011 6:14 PM

pls keep on doing what you're doing!!!

(56)
Anonymous,
June 13, 2011 6:13 PM

OMG

Wow that was soo beautiful and amazing!!! It made me cry!!! It's amazing how Charles Harari made it far in the business/material world but he doesn't let it get to his head-he acts humbly and uses his talents to influence othre spiritually. I am awed at your dedication!

(55)
Anonymous,
May 29, 2011 6:45 PM

WAWESOME!

You are awesome Charlie Harary! Your videos are always inspirational and motivational. I just had the chance to hear you live and all I can say is WOW!!!

(54)
Maria Martinez,
March 4, 2011 7:10 PM

I enjoyed the video very much. It reminded me of when my children were little and when I took them to the doctor for their shots.

(53)
Anonymous,
February 25, 2011 3:05 AM

Amazing

Amazing and very useful

(52)
,
February 17, 2011 1:34 AM

There once was a chosid of a certain Rebbe, and whenever he had troubles, he would go to his Rebbe and beg him to pray for him. And the prayers always helped. At length, the Rebbe passed away, and the distraught chosid asked, " To whom can I go now with my troubles?". He decided to go to the tzaddiks' grave and pray there for the Rebbe's help. That night the Rebbe came to him in a dream, and said: "When I was alive, I felt your pain and was able to pray for you. Now that I am in the World of Truth I see that everything was good all the time, and so I am no longer able to pray for you. The Chofetz Chaim said that trying to understand the events of this world is like seeing Act II of a play, and trying to understand it without having seen Act I or Act III.

(51)
Simon,
February 1, 2011 2:14 PM

To everyone and especially Jeff #48!
We don’t have to understand God in this temporary world. Although we hope and pray to be able to understand Gods kind ways in our lifetime, still there are some things which we will never understand in this world. Some things are better if we don’t understand it. For example; do you want to understand why innocent people got killed in the Mumbai attacks? Believe me you would not want to know. Because if you would understand it you would stop being angry at the terrorists, stop looking for justice as you would understand the underlying reason for it.

(50)
mazal,
January 20, 2011 10:20 PM

Amazing video, just what i needed to hear. Thank you!

(49)
Fay,
January 20, 2011 9:13 AM

Belief means not neccesarily understanding, but it's not losing

To everyone and especially Jeff #48!
The message is clear, though the understanding behind it may not always be that easy, (might never for some folks). But the point is that the win of the game is for YOU to be a believer,- Emunah, that's our job to work on, Belief Without understanding. If we understood everything that He does, than how would He be greater than us. The point is just that, to believe for granted that we DON"T understand and yet know that what's happening is for our best because He is our loving father - as per our belief. An excellent, very popular, highly recommended book to strenghten this point and area is "The garden of Emunah", should be able to be aqcuired in many bookstores worldwide.
Much good luck in all your future!

(48)
Jeff,
January 13, 2011 4:08 PM

Heads He Wins, Tales We Lose

It really saddens me to see a video that is, on its surface, quite heart-warming and loving, but underneath there lurks a truly terrible message.
The surface message tells us that, because we are as infants, unaware and incapable of truly understanding what and why things happen as they do, we can feel great knowing that there is an Unseen Hand guiding everything. In other words, the sicknesses and deaths and countless horrible events and disappointments are really AWESOME and WONDERFUL ... if only we could just understand it the way HE does.
Of course, we are also supposed to thank Him profusely each and every day for all of the good He does for us. So we dutifully thank Him for the good and for the bad ... because what we perceive as bad is actually good. So we should be as happy and thankful at the time of a death as we are at a birth, since they are all equally wonderful and ultimately for our benefit. In other words, no matter what happens – God is great and you should be happy regardless of what happens to you and to loved ones. No matter what, God “wins” – he’s wonderful and worthy of overflowing praise for miracles AND tragedies. Heads He wins, tales we lose.
Does this seem logical to anyone? We’re supposed to be intelligent beings, working hard to understand Him and His Ways, yet when it comes to the deep and difficult questions, we’re left with the incredibly simplistic, naïve and profoundly unsatisfying answer that we shouldn’t worry our pretty little heads because He will insure that everything turns out great. Even if we can’t perceive this until we’re dead!!
To me, this is the same kind of blind, mindless faith that one associates with a cult, not a God and a religion that is supposed to be flawless and true.

(47)
monpeace@aol.com,
January 13, 2011 9:29 AM

thankyou for this video it made me cry not in bad way

(46)
Christina,
January 11, 2011 1:41 PM

Indeed God our Creator never fails us

Its simple,precise illustration of God our heavenly fathers love to his children as the love of our earthly parents. Love it

(45)
Anonymous,
January 10, 2011 9:51 PM

Loved it, but . . .

I loved this, it brought tears to my eyes, but I just can't believe this is true in all cases of "pain." Why would child abuse ultimately be "good" for a child? Or for the child's parents, in cases where they weren't the abusers? What about serial killers? I don't think I could ever bring myself to believe that someone's murder was the result of G-d's plan. I do believe that G-d can be the source of comfort to those who've suffered pain in such cases, but . . .

(44)
R Klempner,
January 10, 2011 7:00 PM

how did the conversation about this video get onto the fake link between autism and vaccination

This video is beautiful and deserves attention on it's insightful content. I was sad to read comment #13. I had a thought on it, based from my own experience.
Sometimes we think, "If G-d really loved me He'd do XYZ." (Funny, we do this with spouses, too...) That means we expect G-d to be on our agenda, that we know what's right for ourselves. We still want to be boss, even if we're trying to boss the big Boss in heaven. There have been times when I haven't felt like G-d was comforting me...in hindsight, He was, but I had such incorrect expectations about the form that comfort should take that I couldn't recognize it even if it was right in front of me.
And just because I have to put in my 2 cents worth, the supposed link between autism and vaccines has been disproven in studies. Moreover, the author of the initial study that hinted of a possible link has been successfully prosecuted in court in the UK. He designed the entire study to produce the result he wanted, then lied to the public about it. The journal who published it apologized to it's readers. Kids with no shots not only are at risk themselves, but can communicate disease to those who can't have vaccine (too young, too sick, allergic to components, etc.) or those whose have worn off (tragically, this has happened with pregnant women).
We have autism in the family, so I read a lot before choosing to innoculate my kids. After reading the two opinions, I insist on vaccinations for my kids and urge others to get them, too.

(43)
mish,
January 10, 2011 2:04 AM

like like like like like like!!!

(42)
Leah,
January 9, 2011 9:57 PM

Everything is for the best.

Our human understanding is so limited that we can not grasp the purpose of every single event we experience in our lives. But we should know that everything is for the best. In the most simple terms, HaShem wants us to discover and fulfill the potencial He has given us and contribute to the embetterment for the world and the human kind.

(41)
Sue,
January 9, 2011 8:13 PM

Thank you –this is fantastic and very well done (as usual)! I’m passing it on to everyone. May you all be blessed for the work you do.

(40)
Anonymous,
January 9, 2011 8:21 AM

NOT vaccinating your child equals to child abuse

As a doctor who works with both child abuse and neurodevelopment at the local university I think I am speaking from experience.There has been NO link between autism and vaccinations.The study was removed from the literiture after failing to meet medical criteria.Not vaccinating a child is a form of neglect.As for the person above who quoted that all autistic children have been vaccinated-I would love to see the study as I have an unvaccinated autistic child at my clinic.

(39)
Mel,
January 9, 2011 4:11 AM

On autism

My child was not vaccinated at all, yet she has been diagnosed as autistic. There are many studies done showing the gluten/dairy protein that seems to affect these children and I have seen huge results in keeping my daughter off of these foods, although it was very hard at first, I encourage all parents with autistic children to try this diet approach very consistently to see if your child can come out of it. My daughter could not communicate at all at age five. Now she is nine and is very sharp mentally, although still struggles some with social skills. Please do research if your child is autistic or developmentally delayed, and try to feed them as naturally as possible, omitting all refined sugars, dyes, dairy and gluten protiens. I don't know what caused her to have this problem, but Adonai has given us our hurdles and some of them actually turn into blessings if we remain faithful and do our best with what he has given us to do!

(38)
,
January 8, 2011 6:07 PM

That was absolutely great!!

(37)
marshall,
January 7, 2011 6:34 PM

excellent - God's love in action!

excellent

(36)
Anonymous,
January 7, 2011 4:15 PM

Yo I'm A nurse. You can reach for me too and I wiil be there. Nurses are Hashems collaberators.

(35)
Penina,
January 7, 2011 5:52 AM

feeling G-d's comfort

Of all the pains in the world, I think the most profound one is the pain of feeling that while G-d may be omnipotent and all, He doesn't really care about you. That pain supercedes all others because it renders all the other pains as pointless and arbitrary. That pain leaves you desperately alone. I knew this pain, and thank G-d I no longer inflict myself with it. In order to feel G-d's comforting arms, you have to know that they are there, and that they are there for you. The comfort does not come from understanding, it comes from trusting. When you can reach that level of trust, you don't need to understand. Sounds trite? Not if you think about it. Our understanding of G-d's creation and His master plan is as miniscule as a drop of water in the ocean. How can we hope to make sense of the Holocaust or of any suffering? We can ascribe responses such as learning empathy, humility, taking it as a sign to improve in some aspect of our behavior, even atonement. BUT we really don't know why. Nevertheless, the comfort is felt by accepting that G-d gives us so much for free, regardless of our appreciation, he proves His love all the time. Pray to Him like that crying baby who turns to the very parent who brought him for his shots. Cry to Him like He's your Father in Heaven. Then listen quietly for His answer. I warmly recommend Rabbi David Aaron's books, which demonstrate why G-d cares about us so much. These books enable you to feel love for G-d, and trust His love for you.

(34)
david doofle,
January 6, 2011 4:59 PM

great

Its amazing but spiritually wrong

(33)
Raisy,
January 6, 2011 4:40 PM

vaccines

#32 there is a huge witch hunt out for the anti vaccination doctors since vaccines are the bread and butter of the medical industry. The linkage is documented, again I recommend "Evidence of Harm" by David Kirby, a New York Times reporter. Additionally, you will likely not find a single case of autism in the unvaccinated population, ie the Amish; conversely you will find that every single autistic child/adult was vaccinated.
For Charlie Harary: why not use the analogy of a child running into a busy street and his mom/dad giving him a 'potch' to scare him from doing that again. That works as a analogy to G-d's love for us.

(32)
jason,
January 6, 2011 3:24 PM

great video -- the merit of vaccines is NOT the point

don't lose the big picture people. charlie is telling a metaphor. but for those anti vaccine folks out there, read today's NYT about how the main study showing linkage of autism has been proven to be a total fraud, and the doctor banned from practicing in the UK

(31)
Michael,
January 6, 2011 2:21 PM

Nice Job

Something every parent can relate to. Thank you.

(30)
Diane Klapper,
January 6, 2011 7:50 AM

Love the First Video

I'm go8ng to send these on to my friends

(29)
Welton,
January 6, 2011 3:43 AM

Beautiful!

Beautiful sotry, and the feelings he had, I had. I took our child to get all her shots. As an old man giving advice to young parents: give your child a dose of tylenol before vaccinations before you get them, it will help greatly with the pain. And when you go for the MMR shot, understand it is like a firecracker going off in the child's arm or leg. A little Tylenol, a lot of love, and many hidden tears will get you and your child through the shots he or she needs to be healthy.

(28)
Anonymous,
January 6, 2011 1:48 AM

i alwayslook fwd to getting the email from aish. ur videos are extremly inspiring and moving. If only u would know what a merit you have, and what a big influence you have on pple! kol hakovod!

(27)
ruth housman,
January 6, 2011 1:47 AM

the Hebrew Letter AYIN

When I aurally stretch out the word PAIN in English I do perceive the AYIN within. In fact, for the longest time, without doing this I perceive the AYIN.
Is this significant? I think it is.

(26)
Charmaine,
January 6, 2011 12:05 AM

Excellent- thank you for taking the effort to produce this.

Simple, sweet and oh how true. Thank you for this lovely message.

(25)
irwin,
January 5, 2011 6:32 PM

The truth !!

(24)
mordi,
January 5, 2011 6:26 PM

Yasher koach

Yasher Koach - exactly what we dads strive for. Adding the G-dly parallel is a nice reminder of how our love for our children, no matter the birth order, is blessed.

(23)
Robert Ladove,
January 5, 2011 6:19 PM

How nice.

Oh my, how nice. Yes, we don't get it all the time. I wish we all did. But the good news is that we all have a chance to and some day we can spend eternity close to the One who loves and created us. What a joy that will be.

(22)
Sherri,
January 5, 2011 6:08 PM

I always love your vids. and am deeply moved by them....this one is not an exception, however, this would not hold water for those, like my brother, who want to know how the holocaust was for their own good, and why our friend's baby was killed or the Rabbi and his wife was killed in a blaze on Shabbat. He does not feel his father's loving arms. He feels his angry arms until this very day. I would love your take on this.

(21)
E.L.,
January 5, 2011 5:05 PM

nice

NICE!

(20)
Anonymous,
January 5, 2011 4:32 PM

To Scott comment 13, G-d does not comfort us...

Comment 13 is in an interesting one. I'd like to hear/see a response from an Aish rabbi. "G-d does not comfort us in a way that we can recognize as comforting, and hence there is no opportunity to rebuild the trust. -Scott". Thank you.

(19)
Andria,
January 5, 2011 4:20 PM

Great reminder

Always enjoy the thought provoking videos.

(18)
Anonymous,
January 5, 2011 4:01 PM

Great video.

Thank you for a great video.

(17)
Eugene Blank,
January 5, 2011 3:54 PM

Belief

I am an atheist. We can eliminate our biggest problem, poverty, and we should. As Gloucester says in King Lear (4,1,63-4) " So distribution should undo excess, And each man have enough."

(16)
Suzanne,
January 5, 2011 3:23 PM

Loved this

This was pretty great. Thank you!

(15)
dasha18,
January 5, 2011 2:07 AM

You become their living legacy

to #10 , Sometimes it takes a few months and sometimes a few years and sometimes you need therapy but after a while you undersand that you now carry on their legacy-you become their living legacy and more.

(14)
Avigayil S,
January 4, 2011 4:30 AM

wow! this was inspiring

i loved this video.. you delivered the idea great.. i almost feel like crying and it hit home!

(13)
Anonymous,
January 3, 2011 11:08 PM

Invalidating Analogy

I've heard this metaphor used countless times, but the point of disanalogy is that you, as a human father, comforted your son and the trust was rebuilt, even though he didn't understand the reason for the pain. G-d does not comfort us in a way that we can recognize as comforting, and hence there is no opportunity to rebuild the trust.
-Scott

Erin,
July 5, 2012 2:46 PM

To #13

Scott, perhaps we are not at that part of the analogy yet. I don't think we get the comfort until after "this life," and then there will be a chance to rebuild the trust. Right now, we are still in the roll of the infant wondering what on earth did Daddy bring us to this place of pain for.
(On another point, althought the message of this metaphor is well taken, I think inoculations are actually a poor choice for the analogy, since we ought to trust the immune system that G-d created us with instead of injecting ourselves with all kinds of unkosher things... but that is another subject.)

(12)
Pessy,
January 3, 2011 6:31 PM

Great presentation

thank you for the inspiration. Yasher koach!

(11)
Batya,
January 3, 2011 3:58 PM

spoke to my heart

The tears started flowing midway through the video. The message was loud and clear -- and loving. The analogy is clear whether or not you have a living, loving father to turn to: Hashem is there for us. Thank you for a precious reminder, Charlie and Aish.

(10)
,
January 3, 2011 3:49 PM

Anonymous

as i watched this, i not only saw MY parents taking care of ME, but since my mom died not so long ago, i was mad at G-d, and though i don't understand, i must accept that this is / was part of the plan - - - as an adult, i do wish i could understand

(9)
sharona,
January 3, 2011 6:52 AM

His comfort

Great message. Hashem's comfort can come in a differents forms. Like when a friend or someone else you love gives you a hug and support etc. Or saying a personal prayer while relaxing, and feel His warmth surrounding you

(8)
JD,
January 3, 2011 5:20 AM

you are the most inspiring person in the world. keep em comin!

(7)
Chaim,
January 2, 2011 10:11 PM

Fantastic w/1 sm. criticism my "Dad" taught me

Great presentation as usual! One small no no- my parents taught me NEVER to say "I swear", it is not a Jewish thing, and (can lead to) a possible violation of one of the Ten Commandments. Keep up the great work!

(6)
Raisy,
January 2, 2011 8:59 PM

parents need to exercise caution

There's lots of information out now about the damage that vaccinations can cause. For some children the proteins therein cross the blood-brain barrier and effect neurological damage. Good book to read: Evidence of Harm by David Kirby, New York Times reporter.

(5)
Chana Jenny Weisberg, jewishmom.com,
January 2, 2011 6:56 PM

wow!

thanks charlie, this is AMAZING! I'm going to post this one my blog. What a powerful story and metaphor. Thank you!

(4)
Sheila,
January 2, 2011 3:26 PM

Right.

If only it were that easy. Sometimes it seems like you're going to the Dr alone, and Dad doesn't answer when you need Him.

(3)
Dena,
January 2, 2011 3:24 PM

Wow, wow, wow!

Charlie Harary - You have such a special way of presenting the most fundamental yet deepest of concepts. I am absolutely inspired by you every time I hear you speak. Thank you for using your gift to teach and inspire us.
Thank you!

(2)
Debbie,
January 2, 2011 3:08 PM

Beautiful.

Just beautiful. Thank you Charlie and aish.com. That was really nice. A fantastic analogy. I'd like to play this again, during those "hard times."

(1)
Lisa,
January 2, 2011 12:55 PM

An concept that we all need to hear over & over agian!!!

Another thought provoking exceptional video from the "cool Rabbi with the glasses."!!!! Thanks!

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!