First off, the plates were no bigger than coffee saucers. Yes, everyone understands this is the cheapest way to satisfy the constant Chinese need for variety but, STILL! Can we have a little bit of quality (and MSG???) here?

The Broke Ass Dining special is as follows: $12.99 for 3 plates selected from ~30 dishes. Each additional dish $5.50. Let me urge you: do NOT get the 4th dish. Eat your 3 dishes, eat your rice, drink 3 cups of tea (free, and not that bad) and wait 15 minutes for the stomach to send chemical triggers to your brain signifying you’re full.

The mapo tofu had “ma”, had spiciness, but it was just FUNKY. It was too soupy, it wasn’t garlicky enough, it wasn’t salty enough, or was it too salty? Seriously, ma po tofu. How hard is it to screw this up? 3 cup chicken: use dark soy sauce. I know it’s saltier, but it’s just prettier. And the ginger? GO EASY! This ain’t 3 cups of ginger chicken! And if there’s so much ginger, please balance it up with equal parts of garlic. Cuz ya know, 3 cups isn’t really about 3 cups, it’s really about 3 EQUAL parts of soy sauce, sesame oi, rice wine. Did I mention the small portions?

Btw, rice is $.70 a bowl. So one’s actually looking at a $14.50++ here.