Who knew “Slut teen gets knocked up by accidental creampie” would be the Grave of the Fireflies of porn? Adult movies are supposed to end one way, with a predictable route from A to B to OOO — they’re like romantic comedies, but with better dialogue — but then there’s School Girl Internal’s “accidental creampie,” starring Mario Cassini and Brooke Whispers, which concludes with the least happy of endings.

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Unhappy ending? Depends upon your point of view. I mean, Mario “never knew he had a child,” which is a little sad but not that horrible, and he does “continue to creampie teens,” so he’s got that going for him. Which is nice.