Spring…the time for new beginnings.

As spring arrives it reminds us that the old has passed away and the new is beginning. In relationships, this is what must happen on a daily basis. Whatever happened yesterday, even God can’t change. Today must be a new day.

People sit in my office every day pointing fingers at each other and standing their ground about things that simply don’t matter. Being right has taken the place of being unified. Is being right really so important? Yes, it appears to be! People fight to be right rather than fighting for unity.

I believe people are not really fighting to be right so much as they are fighting to be loved well. We tend to think that if we are right then others will accept us, approve of us, and love us. We tend to think that if someone does not agree with us, that we are somehow less important, less valuable, and less lovable. All of these fears are understandable, but irrational. We are not loved because we are right, we are loved because of who we are and because of the value we bring to our relationships. Therefore, we ought not to put such restrictions on ourselves or others. Loving well and being loved well is what we are all desirous of. The way we go about trying to make people love us well, only serves to push them away and cause yet a larger rift in already fragile relationships.

Imagine how different your relationships would be if you truly loved others the way you need to be loved? Imagine putting the desires and needs of others ahead of your own. Imagine being so focused on others that you did not spend even one moment allowing your heart to be negatively impacted by another’s tone, words, or looks. Imagine loving so well that those behaviors were nearly non-existent.

The second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Can you really look in the mirror and say that you love that way? OR…do you look in the mirror asking why no one loves you as you deserve? Are you so sensitive to the lack of love you feel that you open the door to anger, rejection, harshness, and hurtful words toward those you are supposed to love?

It’s spring and so it’s time for a new beginning. Make a fresh commitment to love well and to accept the love that others are able to give you; even it is it not the way you need to be loved. They may be doing their best!

Check in with yourself daily and see if you are loving your neighbor as yourself.

About the Author

Dr. Connie Ingram is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Life Coach, and Corporate Consultant. She is certified in clinical supervision for undergraduate and graduate students as well as those seeking supervision to obtain professional license. Connie is an adjunct professor in counseling and leadership studies, a supreme court certified mediator, and a parenting coordinator. Connie is most known for her public speaking and training in the areas of relationships, stress/anxiety, and leadership.