And remember, if any other coworkers provide you any feedback on your decision, just say "Great! I will tell her that you are interested in helping her arrange a new ride. I have done my share, time for someone else to step up!"

Oh no.....she would hitchhike with Jack the Ripper before she asked her husband to lift a finger. On the weekends she takes the bus uptown if she wants to go shopping just so her husband can have the car.

There have been a couple of times when she has been fretting about doing something or going somewhere and when I asked why she didn't just drive there - I know she can drive because she actually asks to borrow other people's cars on occasion - her response was always..."well hubby might want the car and I don't want to inconvenience him by asking him to drive me."

Oh yes....that flabbergasted me.I'm not kidding - she will inconvenience others but it is absolutely unthinkable that she would ask anything of him.

This is certainly no excuse for the way she has taken advantage of you, but I wonder if she doesn't have a valid driver's license. That could perhaps explain why she refuses to ever use her husband's vehicle.

Oh no.....she would hitchhike with Jack the Ripper before she asked her husband to lift a finger. On the weekends she takes the bus uptown if she wants to go shopping just so her husband can have the car.

There have been a couple of times when she has been fretting about doing something or going somewhere and when I asked why she didn't just drive there - I know she can drive because she actually asks to borrow other people's cars on occasion - her response was always..."well hubby might want the car and I don't want to inconvenience him by asking him to drive me."

Oh yes....that flabbergasted me.I'm not kidding - she will inconvenience others but it is absolutely unthinkable that she would ask anything of him.

This is certainly no excuse for the way she has taken advantage of you, but I wonder if she doesn't have a valid driver's license. That could perhaps explain why she refuses to ever use her husband's vehicle.

Why would she borrow other people's car if she doesn't have a license to drive?

Oh no.....she would hitchhike with Jack the Ripper before she asked her husband to lift a finger. On the weekends she takes the bus uptown if she wants to go shopping just so her husband can have the car.

There have been a couple of times when she has been fretting about doing something or going somewhere and when I asked why she didn't just drive there - I know she can drive because she actually asks to borrow other people's cars on occasion - her response was always..."well hubby might want the car and I don't want to inconvenience him by asking him to drive me."

Oh yes....that flabbergasted me.I'm not kidding - she will inconvenience others but it is absolutely unthinkable that she would ask anything of him.

This is certainly no excuse for the way she has taken advantage of you, but I wonder if she doesn't have a valid driver's license. That could perhaps explain why she refuses to ever use her husband's vehicle.

Why would she borrow other people's car if she doesn't have a license to drive?

My line of thinking was her husband wouldn't let her take his vehicle because he knows she does not have a valid license, but other people may not know that.

Kind of a stretch, I know, but I'm pulling from my own experience. I let a friend borrow my car, not knowing that he did not have a valid driver's license. When he got stopped for speeding, the police impounded my car .

VorGuy once asked to see a house guest's license before giving them the keys to the spare car.

What he didn't do was read it to see what the restrictions were on the license.

Being a suspicious person, I asked to see it later.....it was a learner's permit (required a licensed driver over 21 years of age in the front passenger seat). I took the keys away immediately & privately let VorGuy have a verbal blast about NOT CHECKING the fine print.

Which is when I realized that he couldn't SEE the fine print with the glasses that he had then. He got taken in for an eye exam.

We got a bit of a cold shoulder from the guest, too - because they had HAD the use of the car and it wasn't FAIR to take it away from them. They hadn't hidden the license from us (but they had been careful not to mention that it was a permit and not a license). I apportioned "blame" 55/45. He should have LOOKED at it harder and they shouldn't have lied by omission because they KNEW that they couldn't legally drive with the permit. HE was older & the owner of the vehicle - so he should have made sure that he was loaning it only to a legal driver - because they weren't named on our insurance policy, if anything went wrong - our insurance rates would have soared (at best).

We lucked out.

The OP's "car pool rider" might be old enough to have a license - but not want to admit that her eyesight isn't what it used to be or that she doesn't LIKE driving herself or even that it is only a learner's permit......but that isn't the OP's issue to resolve. It belongs to the woman who is going to have to find another way to work or quit working.....and as an adult, she should "own" that!

Next time you feel yourself getting nervous about this situation, think about how her time mooching has taken time away from your children. Even if they were in school during the rides, chatting with her took time that you might have been thinking of things to do with them, or even just thinking happy thoughts about your kids.

Work up some [deserved] righteous indignation about how she has been using you, and ignore any attempts to make you feel guilty.