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A witty, original tour of the billion-dollar self-help industry that explores our uniquely American devotion to self-improvement—even as the author attempts some deeply personal improvements of her own.

“In writing this book I walked on hot coals, met a man making a weight-loss robot, joined a Healing Circle, and faced my debilitating fear of flying. Of all of these things, talking to my father about my mother’s death was by far the hardest.”

The daughter of a widowed child psychologist and parenting author, Jessica Lamb-Shapiro grew up immersed in the culture of self-help, of books and pamphlets and board games and gadgets and endless jargon-filled conversations about feelings. It wasn’t until she hit her thirties that Jessica began to wonder: if all this self-improvement arcana was as helpful as it promised to be, why wasn’t she better adjusted? She had a flying phobia, hadn’t settled down, and didn’t like to talk about her feelings.

Thus began Jessica’s fascination with the eccentric and labyrinthine world of self-help. She read hundreds of books and articles, attended dating seminars, walked on hot coals, and attempted to conquer her fear of flying. But even as she made light of the sometimes dubious effectiveness of these as-seen-on-TV treatments, she slowly began to realize she was circling a much larger problem: her mother’s death when she was a toddler, and the almost complete silence that she and her father had always observed on the subject.

In the tradition of Augusten Burroughs, Jessica Lamb-Shapiro illuminates the peculiar neuroses and inalterable truths that bind families together, whether they choose to confront them or not. Promise Land is a tender, witty, and wise account of a young woman’s journey through her own psyche toward the most difficult stage of grown-up emotional life: acceptance.

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Editorial Reviews

This book will not make you healthier, wealthier, or better looking. Instead, it offers a riff on the self-help industry—and an industry it is, with brands, magnates, and big bucks spent on programs and merchandise. With an eye for irony, Lamb-Shapiro attends various self-help functions, from a fear-of-flying class to a hot-coal walk, and works her way through the literature. She is critical of the genre’s one-size-fits-all approach, which emphasizes the individual’s responsibility for bad situations, even those seemingly beyond one’s control. But what started as an exploration of the irrepressible self-help culture quickly became personal. Those interested in self-help are, after all, seeking something—in Lamb-Shapiro’s case, coming to terms with the consequences of her mother’s death when she was a small child. The result is two-toned, both a surface ramble through parts of the shiny but hollow self-help empire and a personal reflection on her disastrous childhood. Ultimately, the latter provides her most lasting insight, that when it comes to human goals and desires, there are no simple answers. --Bridget Thoreson

From Bookforum

Promise Land is very much a book of the publishing zeitgeist—the gimmicky premise, the mash-up of genres—and risks coming off as clichéd. But Lamb-Shapiro’s authorial presence rescues it from that fate. Her approach to the material is skeptical but not cynical; her personal disclosures feel generous rather than exhibitionistic; and she writes in a mordant, deadpan voice with impeccable economy and timing. —Rebecca Tuhus-Dubrow

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1) To get a fair analysis of the self-help culture from its early beginnings; you get a history of the self-help culture that is well researched.2) You learn about the loving relationship between a daughter and her father which is very well written and honesty told.3) You also find out that author is not someone who is just writing about self-help, she, in fact, is need of self-help herself, such as her fear of flying and coming to terms with her grief.4) The book will make you laugh, think, understand and even shed a tear or two.

Though the book is short, it does cover a lot of ground and, in the hands of an excellent writer, Lamb-Shapiro makes it work and presents a deeply personal story and at the same time provides a fair look at the self-help culture.

"The Power of Positive Thinking", "Unlimited Power", "How to Win Friends and Influence People", "Think and Grow Rich". What do all these books have in common? They are so-called "self-help" books. The self-help field has become a publishing empire in about the last 40 years or so, including books, CD's/tapes, and seminars. If you have the money, you can even get personal sessions with any of a number of published self-help gurus! If you read their books and/or attend their seminars, they promise to change your life for the better, provided you take their advice. But do these ideas really work? Are these self-help gurus really helping change the world allowing people who wouldn't have had a chance until they read some of the inspirational messages to become extraordinarily successful? Or are they offering deceptively simple ideas in a complex world which are designed to make the writers and publishers a lot of money? Is there any scientific evidence their ideas actually work and significantly change people's lives?

Jessica Lamb-Shapiro's "Promised Land" takes a microscope to the self-help culture and analyzes it. She reads the books and attends the seminars, and notices many recurring themes. She notices the language of self-help, such as phrases like "You deserve it" and "I can do anything". She notices the posters with the many symbols of self-help, like the kitten dangling from a tree branch with the phrase "Hang in there". However, there does seem to be a recurring theme in all of this. These books and seminars seem to overpromise and under-deliver.

One of the seminars she attends with her father is offered by Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of one of the most lucrative self-help series in publishing history: Chicken Soup for the Soul. Purportedly there about 50 books in the series which have sold over 100 million copies. Lamb-Shapiro, her father, and about 600 other aspiring self-help gurus paid $1000 to be told by Hansen how they too can find the golden goose in self-help publishing. Irony of ironies, this seminar is a self-help seminar about publishing self-help books! As she describes it, the whole experience is more like a religious revival than a business seminar! People are asked to stand up, yell affirmations, and do silly things like draw smiley faces on other attendees fingers. But she points out what the seminar made up for in making you "feel good", it lacked in substance. What does drawing a smiley face on someone's finger have to do with creating a successful self-help book? There's no advice about marketing research, about choosing subjects, about finding an agent, and a host of other holes her and her father were hoping to hear about. After the seminar they ask for their money back. The one piece of concrete advice offered is the power of the success story. And what is Chicken Soup for the Soul? An anthology of success stories. Another, which was more helpful to her than the Hansen seminar, is a class she attends on curbing her fear of flying. Yet another is a book and seminar about finding a man to marry, offering very strange advice for single women. One of the strangest is that she should hide self-books, including the self-help book about finding a man!

These are just a few examples of the many which Lamb-Shapiro explores in her book. Her experiences I think tell us that self-help is not a complete sham but its promises may be overrated. While books offering advice on personal betterment certainly have their place, the idea that nearly every person attending a self-help seminar will become so much greater both personally and financially than they had been before is quite a boastful claim. Since the self-help movement really took off in the 1970's, it is now statistically much more unlikely to rise out of one's own income class than ever before. If this is true, the self-help promises are at best far-reaching and at worst empty promises. I love the formula offered at the Hansen seminar: Money = Idea + Energy. At first glance this seems like a very nice simplified formula for success. However, if you analyze it, it's kind of meaningless, because it doesn't take into account many unforeseen circumstances which lead to success, like luck. JK Rowling's original manuscript for the first Harry Potter book was dumped into a waste basket by the agency who ended up representing her. (A secretary who happened to see her drawings in the waste basket retrieved it and asked one of the agents to give it a second look.). Maybe there's other pieces of the puzzle the self-help gurus don't want to mention, such as luck. Money = Idea + Energy + Luck.

I had been waiting for a book like this which demystifies much of the self-help culture. Well done and insightful.

Jessica Lamb-Shapiro has offered up a book from an unusual perspective...that of being the daughter of a therapist. It's mostly a breezy read, dealing in part with the early death of her mother and the "outsized" personality of her father. When she's specific, she's very good. The chapter on her fear of flying is focused and often irreverent and reading about her dad's being called on as an expert in the "choking game" (when he wasn't) is refreshing. But she tends to wander in other chapters, making for a somewhat less than satisfying book. A good editor would have helped "Promise Land".

My 30 years as a consultant, coach and public speaker were much like those of your father. Your research into the history and flaws of self-help was the most comprehensive and sincere body of work on this subject that I have ever read. I had the pleasure to serve as a facilitator for both Steven Covey and Patrick Lencioni prior to my retirement. Their intellect, integrity and generosity were genuine, unlike the "soup sellers" of the business. Thanks to your interview on National Public Radio, I gave myself the gift of reflecting on a life of service and caring.

I was intrigued by this book when i saw it in the bookstore and i was not dissapointed.The author tells us her journey thru various self help organizations.I like the fact that she kept her account real,sincere and funny.I liked the fact that this was just a real person with nothing to lose or gain by going deep into this area.I enjoyed the book because it definetly gives me an insight.

This book really defined the self-help industry both the good and bad. The thing that distinguished from other books of it's type was the personal touch the author lent to the narrative. I would recommend this to anyone that enjoys humor and the journey of others.