General Synod to accept ‘Life of Brian’ version as most accurate

In what has been seen as the most profound U-turn in Christian thinking in months the General Synod of the Church of England have finally conceded that the Monty Python version of the gospel story is more likely the most accurate we have to date.

‘We just didn’t get it at first.’ chuckled Archbishop of York Rt Hon Dr John Sentamu. ‘But now it’s obvious – women being made to wear beards, a correct depiction of what the Romans have done for us and the ultimate choice: crucifixion or Freedom, one cross each – it’s all so clear at last.’

However not that everyone in the Church welcomes these latest pronouncements. ‘Basing the central concept of one’s religion on a comedy film is patently preposterous,’ wrote one leading theologian. ‘If Dr. Sentamu thinks he can reduce the core tenets of Christianity into a few amusing quotes, then clearly he’s not an archbishop, he’s a very naughty boy – now piss off’