May and Corbyn’s pathetic deal is a grotesque act of national self-harm, not a compromise

DO Theresa May and new best mate Jeremy Corbyn really want to turn this great country into a banana republic with no bananas?
Apparently, that is the big idea being cooked up behind closed doors by the odd couple. But taking us out of the EU while keeping us in a customs union — their cunning plan, God help us — would not be a pragmatic compromise to unite our divided country.
PA:Press Association Do Theresa May and new best mate Jeremy Corbyn really want to turn this great country into a banana republic with no bananas?
Keeping us in a customs union would be a grotesque act of national self-harm. Keeping us in a customs union would render the UK a forelock-tugging colony of the EU for ever. Taking us out of the EU while locking us in a customs union with the EU would be the worst of all possible worlds.
It would prevent us from striking our own trade deals around the world — the great shining dream of Brexit — while leaving us beholden to the whims, wishes and interests of the EU. We would be instantly diminished.
The country that has not been invaded for 1,000 years would be brought to its knees by mediocre politicians. Just to be totally clear — taking us out of the EU while keeping us in a customs union would be STARK RAVING MAD.
If we remain in a customs union while leaving the EU — a pitiful Brexit in name only, a pathetic excuse for Brexit — then we lose our voice without gaining our freedom. We could have no independent trade policy of our own.
Leaving the EU while remaining in a customs union would not be a compromise. It would be national suicideTony Parsons
With us out yet still shackled, the EU would be run totally for the benefit of others — for the faltering car industry of Germany, for the greedy farmers of France — and there will be bugger all that we can do about it. Apart from suck it up.
Just how stupid are Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn? Very, very stupid. Their plan is a policy of abject, unconditional surrender.
If we leave the EU but stay in a customs union then the EU will be free to offer the world access to the UK’s 65million consumers without the UK getting ANYTHING in return. The EU would become Britain’s pimp. Three countries in the world have a customs union with the EU without being members of the European Union — Turkey, San Marino and Andorra.
Getty Images – Getty Giving in to Corbyn and keeping us in a customs union would be a grotesque act of national self-harm
With all due respect to Turkey, San Marino and Andorra — do May and Corbyn really think so little of the UK?
We are the fifth largest economy on the planet. We are the oldest parliamentary democracy! We are a military superpower. We deserve infinitely better than the future that Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn have planned for us.
Whatever way you voted in the EU referendum, and whatever your feelings now, a customs union is not the way forward. A customs union would be ­infinitely worse than either leaving or staying. It would mean our trade policy is determined in Brussels without British interests ever being considered.
Personally, I have given up on the lying muppets of Westminster ever delivering Brexit. If it was going to happen, then it would have ­happened by now.’LABOUR AND THE TORIES HAVE TREATED THE PUBLIC LIKE THICK PEASANTS’
The British establishment — the House of Commons, House of Lords, big business in the shape of the CBI, a pro-Brussels civil service and our state broadcaster, the BBC — were all against this country leaving the European Union.
Together, this powerful alliance has overruled the largest vote for anything in our history. What that means for our democracy nobody knows.
But leaving the EU while remaining in a customs union would not be a compromise. It would be national suicide.
We would be infinitely better staying in the European Union. Or truly leaving.
We all want to end the Brexit deadlock.
But leaving the EU while staying in a customs union is like treating a migraine by putting a bullet in your brain.
THE conclusion of the local election results that punished both of the major parties is — a pox on both your houses.
Labour and the Tories have treated the public like mugs, thick peasants who should not be allowed anywhere near a polling booth.
Now they will reap the whirlwind.
Theresa May admits Britain COULD stay in customs union
Let’s keep sexy Kat
FOR her snogging crimes on the last series of Strictly, Katya Jones is said to have been demoted to substitute dancer on the next series, deemed too hot to handle some ageing boy band member on the skids, or ambitious TV presenter, or comedian you have never heard of.
Getty – Contributor It’s a dance show, not Songs Of Praise. And Strictly needs the naughty likes of Katya Jones
Shame. Katya is a great dancer and choreographer and the air of sexual abandon around Strictly is one of the things that makes the show a success.
True, sleaze will never be good for what is allegedly wholesome prime-time family entertainment.
But do we really want to kill all possibility of romance blossoming during all those long, sweaty rehearsals?
Don’t you want to believe that some of the passion on the dance floor is not being faked? Shouldn’t some deep needs and feelings be stirring inside that skin-tight Lycra?
It’s a dance show, not Songs Of Praise. And Strictly needs the naughty likes of Katya Jones.
PETER WILL LIVE ON FUR EVERPETER MAYHEW, the actor behind the Chewbacca mask, has died at the age of 74, reminding us that there was a time when the Star Wars films were not simply another film franchise, but an essential part of childhood.Peter played Chewie in all those fabulous early films – A New Hope (1977), The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Return Of The Jedi (1983), and came back for Revenge Of The Sith (2005) and The Force Awakens (2015).
Chewie never had much dialogue apart from the odd roar, but there will be many middle-aged souls who will recall every Chewbacca scene.
For Chewbacca was the greatest sidekick in movie history. Fearless, loyal, impossibly heroic and very hairy. It is hard to imagine Han Solo without Chewie at his side.
Chewbacca lit up the childhood of a generation, including my Star Wars-obsessed son, who went to bed with his plastic lightsaber every night for years.
Peter Mayhew was rarely seen. But few actors were ever more loved.

Mayor no Khan do
Rex Features Sadiq Khan can face up to that hard truth and actually do something – continue saving his breath for Donald Trump balloons
LONDON Mayor Sadiq Khan said recently that it would take ten years to stop London’s soaring murder rate.
But that is only true if London’s Mayor spends his days blowing hot air into ­Donald Trump blimps.
The Met reports that over the last year a rise in stop and search led to a major drop in violent crime.
A 30 per cent increase of stopping and searching in London resulted in a 15 per cent ­reduction in stabbings among the under-25s, bucking the national trend.
The brutal truth is that kids are less likely to carry a blade if they are more likely to get stopped and searched.
Sadiq Khan can face up to that hard truth and actually DO SOMETHING. Or he can ­continue saving his breath for Donald Trump balloons.

THE London Marathon was spoiled this year by staff who were clearing the course abusing the slower runners. Jack Glenny, 24, finished in just over seven hours.
“One of the proudest moments of my life was tarnished,” says Jack. “We were berated and told, ‘run, fat boy, run.’ It’s disgraceful.”
Who were these creeps? It would be interesting to see what they look like after ­running 26 miles while dressed as a chicken.

Louis Wood – The Sun Jude Law with his new bride, Dr Phillipa Coan
JUDE LAW looked blissfully happy coming out of Marylebone Town Hall with his new bride, Dr Phillipa Coan, an academic who is 14 years younger than Jude with legs that are apparently 14 inches longer than his own.
It is true what they say. You should marry your second wife first.
Mad Dog put down
THE Prime Minister sacked her Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson, for allegedly leaking details of a National Security Council meeting to a journalist.
Williamson strenuously denies the accusation, swearing “on his children’s life” that he did not leak details about Chinese tech giant Huawei being invited to build the UK’s 5G network.
Whatever Williamson did or didn’t tell, he does seem to have been slightly overpromoted as Defence Secretary
They can’t both be telling the truth, can they?
But whatever Williamson did or didn’t tell a journalist, he does seem to have been slightly overpromoted as Defence Secretary.
Gavin “Mad Dog” Williamson was always ludicrously keen on talking tough.
He suggested our fighting forces tackle their equipment crisis by fitting tractors with guns.
It was Mad Dog who suggested defending Gibraltar by firing paintballs at the Spanish navy. And Mad Dog who told the Russians to “go away and shut up”.
Reuters The mighty Mordaunt will be a huge improvement on Williamson
Russia lost 25million people defeating Nazi Germany.
They were unlikely to be intimidated by Gavin Williamson.
Penny Mordaunt becomes Britain’s first female Defence Secretary.
The daughter of a paratrooper, a Royal Navy reservist and veteran of reality TV show Splash!, the mighty Mordaunt will be a huge improvement on Williamson.
But then Orville the Duck would make a better Defence Secretary than Mad Dog.