Tonight I watched one of the more grotesque and disturbing horror films I've seen in awhile, THANATAMORPHOSE. (2012)An attractive young woman is working as a sculptor. She has a rather egotistical jerk of a boyfriend who comes over to have sexand then leaves her alone more often than not. One morning she wakes up to find dark bruises on her face and shoulder, then theystart to get bigger and darker . . . then her flesh starts to rot away. Perfectly aware the whole time, she isolates herself from theworld and watches her whole body decay little by little. Slow-paced, but all the more disturbing for it. The ending is both sad andabsolutely disgusting to watch. Still not sure if I liked this one or not!

Bullhead - dark depressing but engrossing crime drama about some kind of Flemish animal hormone mafia. Yes, another one of those. I guess they important illegal American factory farm type steroids into the country and sell them to greedy farmers. After they off a reporter the police start closing in and gradually do so for most of the movie.

What's it's really about though is the farmer mafia guy who not only shoots his animals with steroids but take them (different ones you'd hope) himself, for reasons the movie explores. His huge size and build is matched only by his inner trauma. He's a loose cannon, yet introverted and largely sympathetic.

4:44: Last Day on Earth (2011): This follows a pair of lovers (played by Willem Dafoe and Shanyn Leigh) as they spend their last day on Earth before the world is scheduled to come to an end.

This one surprised. The DVD cover art had me expecting a cheesy end of the world flick. That's not what you get here at all. We're much more in the vein of low budget independent arty film making. The plot has some similarities to the similarly themed Last Night but this is very much it's own creation. Abel Ferrara brings to life an interesting vision of humankind on the brink of the end and the general sadness of the loss of things or for things that never will be is vibrant as an element here. Those looking for cheese might well be disappointed. I was pleasantly surprised by a rather well done movie albeit of the lower budget, independent variety. There's also nods here to Buddhism, the Dalai Lama, and Al Gore so it's perhaps not going to appeal to all tastes out there. **** out of ***** stars.

Android Insurrection (2012): In the distant future, androids with artificial intelligence have taken over the world. A small group of resistance fighters attempts to carry out missions against imposing odds.

So O.K. that description makes this sound so much better than it actually is. Basically this is a group of people walking around an abandoned building getting picked off one by one by an unconvincing CGI hunter robot killer. It's nothing you haven't seen done before and done much better before. This film is a really bad stinky piece of cheese. The only thing this has going for it is Virginia Logan looking hot in leather pants. The rest is just a bore. Did kind of like the cheesy speech by the robot overlord at the end but most will not make it anywhere near that far. This looks like something a group of people might get together to make and put up on youtube or something. * out ***** stars.

Frozen (2013): A young princess named Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell) searches for her sister Queen Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel) whose mysterious ice powers have driven her into seclusion for fear of being persecuted by her townspeople in Arendelle and even more so because she's afraid she'll hurt someone she loves through misuse of her magical powers. Along the way Anna meets up with rugged ice cutter Kristoff (voiced by Jonathan Groff), his reindeer pal Sven, and finally a magical snowman named Olaf brought to life by her sister Elsa.

This epic story takes us on many twists and turns. It actually starts off pretty dark with a lot of tragedy and a lot of fear and isolation leading to Elsa living mostly like a recluse all her life. Still, the sense of wonder and fun remains throughout and this tale seemed designed to melt even the coldest heart. Funny, moving, and featuring some good songs, this one proves quite memorable and likely seems destined to be a future Disney classic. ****1/2 out of ***** stars.

"UHF" (1989) Weird Al Yankovic stars in this cult comedy - a notorious box office bomb when it was released, but beloved today thanks to home video - as a dorky dreamer who takes over his uncle's low watt small town TV station and soon incurs the wrath of his cross town network rival with his odd but popular new slate of programs. Silly fun with a great cast.

THE WORLD GONE MAD (1933): A brash reporter decides to solve the murder of his District Attorney friend. This pre-code talkie set during Prohibition features a somewhat interesting, if contrived, plot. 2/5.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

SONS OF HERCULES: IN THE LAND OF DARKNESS (1964): Hercules---oops, I mean SON of Hercules---and his annoying comic relief sidekick fight a man in a bear suit and a subterranean tribe of cannibal slavers. It's two episodes of a cheap Italian TV show smashed together to make a feature film, and in the middle we actually get previews of the second half! From a bad movie standpoint you might get a 3/5 out of it, although the Mill Creek print is so lousy it's kind of a pain to watch.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

Cryptid: The Swamp Beast (2014– ) - finished watching the first season of this TV show last night. It's kind of like Monster Hunters mixed with Cops and bit bit of Swamp Hunters thrown in too. Being fictional, the encounters with the unknown are as exciting as we wish they'd be on the "reality" shows. In a small Louisiana town out in the swamps, a group of animal control people receive a call about a mutilated cow. Soon a hiker goes missing, and then a local man is found dead, apparently attacked by an unknown beast. Strange occurrences increase in frequency until the whole town is almost in a frenzy. Is is a crazed human, an animal predator or...something else?!?!

I really enjoyed this. The characters were pretty good and they really did a great job of creating a scary atmosphere as these encounters take place, and our animal control people venture deep into the swamps to find whatever is causing all the trouble. The way they did it in the "reality" show style was pretty convincing too. They insert some interviews with a local folklorist who talks about a mythical swamp monster that can take any form it chooses, as well as other interviews with "experts" to give it a nice reality show feel. 4.5/5.

Logged

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

The Bog Creatures (2003) - a group of college kids dig up some bog bodies and gosh darn it anyway, they come to life and start chasing our young archeologists around. This was cheesy, low budget, fairly slow moving in parts, but moderately enjoyable. Kind of improves a bit on repeated viewings as you know how much badness to expect. 3/5.

High Lane (2009) - a group of mountain climbers are out for a weekend of fun. Unfortunately every nightmare scenario in mountain climbing befalls them one after another, and when they finally get their feet on solid ground, it turns out they've wandered into a serial killer's hunting ground. See this is why my idea of a fun weekend is buying some beers and watching some movies. This was a pretty good movie though, if you're the slightest bit afraid of heights the climbing stuff is sure to make you squirm. And the psycho killer stuff is suitably brutal as well. Good characters, they actually had a bit of depth and I could relate to them. 4/5.

Logged

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.

MR. NOBODY (2009): A 118-year old man, the last mortal left on Earth in 2092 after humanity has discovered the secret of genetic immortality, tells his life story to a curious journalist, mixing up his memories and telling contradictory stories in which he is in love with three different women. With its multiple storylines, heartbreaking romance, amazing sight gags, and clever philosophical asides, this amazing movie shows more imagination than the last five movies you saw put together. 5/5.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

In the near future, crime is allowed for 12 hours once a year. A suburban family becomes the target of a group of people who suspect they are hiding somebody they want to kill.Interesting premise, average execution spiked with bloody violence. What they did here was taking the creepy gimmick of The Strangers - masked intruders - but the way they are presented is not creepy at all. So in the end it's just a lazy attempt with semi-engaging results. Not good enough to praise, not bad enough to dismiss. 3/5

RUN LOLA RUN (1998): Lola has twenty minutes to find a way to get 100,000 Deutschmarks to her boyfriend across town before he gets whacked. Problem is, she's broke, but fortunately, she gets a couple do-overs. Experimental but accessible, Lola schemes (and runs) nonstop through this frenetic thriller/drama; breathers are for subplots and flashbacks. She's going to need a new sports bra when this is all over. 5/5.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

Young Ones episodes - I was on vacation in the Colorado in the late 80's, which is when seemingly everything relevant happened in my life, when I first saw this show on MTV. It totally blew me away in part because it was hilarious and also it was very punk which I was as well. I had a VHS tape of a few episodes that I watched about a million times. This one was the second disk and I hadn't seen them more than once or at all. It had 6 episodes including the very last one. An amazing show, one of the best ever. 5/5

The Island at the Top of the World (1974): At the turn of century (18th to 19th), Sir Anthony Ross (Donald Sinden) recruits geologist Professor Ivarsson (David Hartman) along with Captain Brieux (Jacques Marin) and his airship to search for his long lost son, who disappeared a couple of years before while searching for a mythical island at the top of the world where it is said whales go to die. An unlikely adventure with explorers searching the Arctic in an airship only to make a most unexpected discovery or two in the end.

"A 1970s Disney fantasy adventure popcorn movie" is perhaps the best way to describe this. There's not much here that makes much sense if you really stop and think about it but if you let yourself go, don't think too much, you'll probably enjoy the adventure as things move along rather well and there's always something interesting going on. The film also features some startling effects, some beautiful matte paintings, and some beautiful footage of the real Arctic and Greenland. The parts with the Vikings are interesting and fun and it's cool to see a recreation of what their lives might have been like even if they do seem to get stereotyped into 2 camps of thought. The bit with the killer whales seems ridiculous but something was needed there to put our heroes in peril. Grab the popcorn and enjoy with this one. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

The Conjuring (2013): Well-know paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (here played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) try to help Carolyn Perron (Lili Taylor), her husband Roger (Ron Livingston) and their five young girls who find themselves tormented by a dark and evil presence in their new home and its surrounding property.

Lots of creepiness with this one and some genuine scares. Moments here reminded me very much of the Old Hag but perhaps is even worse as the villain here is even more threatening. A nice subtle build happens here as we watch the mystery unravel before our eyes. Good performances by the stars here help as well. One of the better recent horror efforts IMO. **** out of ***** stars.

William Lustig's ultra-violent grindhouse splatter fave introduces Frank Zito - a New York psycho who's kinda like a combo of Norman Bates and Son of Sam. Frank's severe Mommy issues and voices in his head compel him to carve up a bunch of nurses, prostitutes and disco queens and display their scalps on the mannequin collection in his apartment.

British scream queen and onetime Bond babe Caroline Munro shows up about halfway through and unwittingly befriends this hulking wackjob, lending a "Beauty and the Beast" feel to the rest of the movie cuz you just know it's not gonna end well for her.

"Maniac" was filmed on location on the mean streets of NYC and features truly sicko gore effects by Tom "Dawn of the Dead" Savini. Dark, gritty, and sleazy, this is the kinda movie that makes you want to shower when you're done watching.