10 Replies - 18762 Views - Last Post: 13 October 2012 - 11:55 AM

5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Posted 20 November 2011 - 06:51 AM

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Found elsewhere, had to share, because it's just so damn true:

The 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Stage 1: Being bold
You just ask someone else to do your work for you, instantly, voluntarily, and without any payment. Sometimes you don't even care to mention what the task at hand actually is, instead you just give your e-mail address for potential programming slaves to come back to you. Real professionals additionally choose a girlish sounding nickname in hope for more male programmers to show their interest.

Stage 2: Negotiation
Sometimes (mainly after someone asked for it) you offer small payment for someone doing your work for you. The amount offered usually is so small that it's rather an offense than a salary - and its justification leads directly to...

Stage 3: Begging
You tell people you're just a poor student who doesn't have much to give. When being told to do your own homework, you have several creative excuses ready at hand: you have been suffering from a terribly bad illness, your teacher didn't really teach you how to accomplish your task, you just need to pass your class and are not really interested in programming at all. Additionally, you sometimes ingratiate yourself with people on the forums, since "You are professionals, should be an easy job for you" and "You are great programmers, you will surely accomplish this task in less than five minutes."

Stage 4: Triggering compassion
The lack of success in steps 1 to 3 forces you to let people know the horrible consequences of no-one being willing to help you: not passing your exam, the loss of future perspective, social decline and soon painful death...

Stage 5a: Provocation
After four (very busy) steps and still not having found someone to do your work for you you show a sudden change in mood and give explanations why nobody is willing to help you: These forums are f**king impolite and arrogant and full of incompetent idiots who are too dumb to write a stupid little program. (You're right; we should have that slogan on our home page.)

Stage 5b: Flame war Those members who have never come across the 5 steps so far react to your provocation and start an argument with you until your thread gets closed or deleted.

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Posted 04 October 2012 - 01:59 AM

I find this a bit scary coz the main reason I signed up for this site was that I wanted to get help from time to time when I get stuck. Of cause it's not like I would get homework and bring the question to this forum without lifting a finger to try it myself.
Please tell me my fears are misplaced. PLease tell me if I have homework I can help here when I'm stuck. Please promise me I can post code and get corrected.

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Posted 04 October 2012 - 02:10 AM

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murume, on 04 October 2012 - 02:29 PM, said:

I find this a bit scary coz the main reason I signed up for this site was that I wanted to get help from time to time when I get stuck. Of cause it's not like I would get homework and bring the question to this forum without lifting a finger to try it myself.
Please tell me my fears are misplaced. PLease tell me if I have homework I can help here when I'm stuck. Please promise me I can post code and get corrected.

Murume, the article was meant for the lazy bums who will not move a finger to even take up a pen but will want the code to be ready and spoon fed to them just because they need to get a good grade in school.God help them if they are planning to take up programming as a career!!!

Never mind that, as long as you do your bit in making a conscious effort on the coding and ask only specific questions about the code, you will certainly get all the possible help from us.

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Posted 13 October 2012 - 09:16 AM

I really do appreciate that I can come here and get a little guidance. Learning in our middle-age is really a little different. The old brain doesn't track quite like it used to. Everyone here has been great in guiding me along. I have been to other sites where they basically make you feel like you are an idiot, and trying to get help is basically a test in reading cryptography! I also found out that some of them on the other boards don't know what they are talking about and argue amongst themselves on technique. I appreciate and value everyone's opinions here and respect that you all know much more than I do. I love the name tags that we get. I like being a new dic head!

Re: 5 1/2 Stages of a Failed Forum Homework Request

Posted 13 October 2012 - 11:55 AM

ValeriePurvis, on 13 October 2012 - 09:46 PM, said:

I really do appreciate that I can come here and get a little guidance. Learning in our middle-age is really a little different. The old brain doesn't track quite like it used to. Everyone here has been great in guiding me along. I have been to other sites where they basically make you feel like you are an idiot, and trying to get help is basically a test in reading cryptography! I also found out that some of them on the other boards don't know what they are talking about and argue amongst themselves on technique. I appreciate and value everyone's opinions here and respect that you all know much more than I do. I love the name tags that we get. I like being a new dic head!

Certainly ma'am. You will find out that there are so many of us who are willing to help you solve a problem. But what we want to see is whether you have made a genuine effort in trying to solve it yourself before asking.We don't provide you the entire code but help to guide you in the right direction as we want you to learn by making mistakes. It is perfectly alright to make mistakes, as mistakes are what give you experience and help you learn.So, please make mistakes, and in the process, you will learn a lot from your mistakes.

Well,glad to have someone at your age willing to take interest in the ever wonderful world of programming.