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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

"Time is a relentless river. It rages on, a respecter of no one. And this, this is the only way to slow time: When I fully enter time's swift current, enter into the current moment with the weight of all my attention, I slow the torrent with the weight of me all here. I can slow the torrent by being all here. I only live the full life when I live fully in the moment. And when I am always looking for the next glimpse of glory, I slow and enter. And time slows. Weigh down this moment in time with attention full, and the whole of time's river slows, slows, slows.

And blind eyes see: It's the sleuthing for the glory that slows life gloriously. It's plain. Giving thanks for one thousand things is ultimately an invitation to slow time down with weight of full attention. In this space of time and sphere, I am attentive, aware, accepting the whole of the moment, weighing it down with me all here."

Monday, February 27, 2012

This past weekend was the St. Andrew's Women's Retreat in Hilton Head. I always really look forward to this weekend. I was a bit more excited this time because I got to be on the worship team this time around. Secret: I have always wanted to be on the worship team. We cruised on down there early Friday morning. I knew the weekend would be good because I got to start it with Ros, Rennie and Beth. We got there and immediately got to work getting things ready for all the women that were going to be invading the hotel later. It's really funny- this weekend blew by and I am having a really hard time remembering parts of it..

Friday night Dwight spoke and we had some soaking prayer. After it was over we had a little bit of soaking prayer. Then I headed up to put on my pajamas and "roam" the halls as Ros says. Saturday morning came way to early with worship practice and out day began. It went by so fast. Becky spoke in the am and it was awesome. This weekends theme was about Identity. Then we had prophetic appointments which were so fun! It's so funny how I know get to be a part of something that used to freak me out so much. We have come full circle people. Big time. I found myself hanging in the hallway singing rap songs with some of my favorite people in my opera voice for much of our afternoon free time... Then Saturday night came and Dwight spoke again. He did really good. I think it was really cool how we all learned something about him that is very real. I think it gave people freedom to step out. We then had a really cool prayer time. While we were praying, Becky read some words out over everyone. One of them resonated with me. But of course I just stayed posted up in my position. I wasn't really dying to go up there and get some prayer because not too much was going on. But while I was standing there praying by myself, I told myself that I needed some kind of sign or something if that was for me. (I like to be sure before I do anything drastic... or I'm a chicken.) So I'm standing there with my eyes closed and could tell someone was next to me. So I peeked. It was Aunt Martha. (She didn't really know all of this was going around in my head at the time). So she is standing next to me. I didn't really know if I was supposed to talk or not- so I remained silent. Pretended to be super spiritual and pray. So some minutes go by and she whispers, "I think you need to go get prayer up there." Dang it. I guess that was my sign. So up I went. It was really sweet. The lady that ended up praying for me prayed almost the exact thing that I had written in my journal moments before. That is always a pretty cool confirmation. I also stayed and got some prayer for one of the words read aloud. It was about having dreams. I kind of realized that I hadn't really vocalized or thought about any dreams or aspirations lately because I didn't think that I could make things happen or what not. Insert my fear of failure here. I always realize things at the funniest times. I mean, why don't I try to take more pictures? Or write more? Because I kill the idea before I even allow myself to process it. So I've decided to at least let the idea move to the processing department before I pass judgement on it. I also realized that for some reason- I never believe people when they tell me I'm good at something. Or I brush it up to luck. What's the harm in receiving a compliment?? Who knows? But, this is not the big stuff that I took home from the weekend.

Late Friday night, I went back to the room to put on my pj's and roam the halls. I was first going down with my roomie to visit some sweet friends. We hung for a while and then I left to go grab something from the other room and plan out my other stops for the night. When I was on the elevator I accidentally did some hard thinking. Why do I need to go by like 345 rooms tonight? Why not just hang where I am? It's too tiring to go place to place. What am I really going to miss if I don't stop by the big party suite? Then I realized that I was becoming the exact opposite of how I used to be. I used to mingle with the best of them. Room to room. Always felt like I was going to miss something. Constantly wanting to hang with "my" people. While on the elevator I realized that I didn't really know who "my" people were. (This is not in a sad and depressing way.) (More of a I am secure in myself and God and it's ok to just be where I want to be.) So when I walked into the party room full of people, I lasted about 3 minutes and retreated. It's going to be okay if I go back to hang with just a few people. (To you- this seems simple. But it just took me a looooong time to figure this out...ha) You see, all year I have been trying to figure out just who I am. Not to get to deep here, but lots of things have been changing. I used to always want to be with lots of people. The more chaos, the better. Now not so much. My introverted side is shining through. Most people don't understand that because they think that it's really easy for me to be with lots of people and be funny and confident and what not. What they don't know is that I am extremely insecure and funniness slash good with people is a defense mechanism that I have that works really good. No lie. I am really lucky because its a defense mechanism that usually works out pretty well for me and most people don't know that I am an introverted nerd. Ha ha. So I decided right then and there that I am going to try and walk more on my real side than on the funny side. I also realized something else this weekend. There is this thing that people say when I talk to them that I have a really, really hard time with. Disclaimer: If you have said it, fret not. This isn't really directed at you. It's more for me. And I am totally fine with it. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Please don't feel bad and never talk to me again or something. With some people it's a funny joke between the two of us so fear not. So I am a relational person. I like people a lot and happen to have a lot of really great friends. But something happens to me when someone tells me that I know everyone or that I have a million friends. It used to never bother me. In fact it used to do the exact opposite. I think I actually took pride in it. I don't know if something hit me this weekend or what, but it really got my attention. I think that I put this expectation on myself that I was supposed to be like that. Like I needed to get some kind of value out of that. Well I definitely do not feel that way now. I mean there were times this weekend that I definitely did not feel that way. And it was really good for me. I got to be with myself a lot this weekend. And it was GOOD. (There is a chance that this is making no sense whatsoever. Sorry.)

Moving on. The last thing that I am going to share is really cool. To me. Every time I got on that dang stage to do worship I got extremely emotional. You probably saw me crying and wondered what the heck was wrong with me. Well music really gets to me. And when you are up on that stage it is a whole different perspective. Getting to be a part of that was awesome. I can't even explain it. 4 years ago I went on my first St. Andrew's women's retreat. I was blown away in so many ways. But while I was there on that first retreat, I prayed and wrote in my journal that maybe one day I could work hard and get to play on the worship team. I prayed that prayer for a good while and eventually I just kind of forgot it. Well on Sunday morning while we were playing, it hit me like a ton of bricks. There I was. Getting to be on the team and playing at the retreat. Hello??? I do believe that is an answered prayer. Right about this time we went into the chorus of my romance which is "Unto you be all the glory." I sang those words with my whole heart yesterday. I just started crying and there was no way to stop it. It was such a happy cry though. I just got to have this moment with the Holy Spirit that was awesome. So if you saw me with the trembling lip- now you know why. It was really really cool.

So there you have it. It was a good weekend. It went by way too fast. And now I'm a little sad that it's over. Now I need a nap.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"I told you about the time in Guatemala that I found her in the morning passed out with a cigarette in her hand, a red hot candy on her face, and her boob hanging out of her lace night gown (all completely appropriate for a mission trip in a third world country with teenage girls). It was terrible. I can't erase it from my memory. I remember standing over her just trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.."

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

So Tuesday night I started watching Downton Abbey. Well it's safe to say that I AM ADDICTED. I have now watched all of season 1 and most of season 2. It is so so so so good. Seriously. Start watching it now. You will not regret it. I promise. Go, go, go.

Monday, February 20, 2012

I have to say, it twas a good weekend. Busy, but good nonetheless. This is going to be a jumbled post so bear with me please. Or hit the x at the top of our screen. On Friday afternoon I hit the road to the concrete jungle otherwise known as Columbia. Logan and I were meeting MCC at her house. We were going to dinner and a movie. Yes, I understand that I drove 120 miles to go eat mexican and see The Vow. PS- The Vow's ending is muy terrible. Sorry, but if I woke up from a coma and Channing Tatum told me that we were married- I would not complain. It was fun being with these friends:)

I really do miss them a lot. They are keepers. Except they did ditch me for husbands...

It was a good time. We awoke to the guys making breakfast. Not gonna lie, I could get used to that.

We had many interesting conversations during our 16 hour stay. Logan and her hubs are being vegetarians for the month of February. I thought I could try it. I lasted 3 minutes. Then out came the BACON!

I did not get far. On Saturday night I found myself out at the Senf's. The T. Senf's to be correct. I love the Senf's. Both the S. Senf clan and the T. Senf clan. Plus they live in the same hood so it's easy to barge in on both:) Their friends were in town and it was Shabbat. Seriously- I acted like I knew what that meant, but really had no idea. They said to come for a Jewish dinner. Now, I thought this was like some Christians acting Jewish for the night... Ha. Nope. It was legit. There were legit Jewish people there. And they are awesome. Seriously cool people. I learned a whole lot of new things during this shindig. I even constructed a mini Venn diagram to learn about Jews and Christians. I think I narrowed it down to a couple big differences. Jews- no pig. Christians-lots of pig. Jews-actually have a day of Sabbath. Christians-we try (sometimes) and it doesn't really work out. There are more, but those are my favs. All during dinner I kept wondering if I could observe Jewish law for a month. Or a week. Or a day. I just don't know if I could do it. I mean, no bacon? Ah. I don't even think I could go meatless for one day... Sad. However, I feel much more cultured than I did before the weekend. Yesterday was awesome. Got to have lunch with Mere and hit n run Bosch. Then we went to visit Caroline and had a glorious Castle marathon. All in all it was a good weekend. If only I didn't have to work today... Last night we did happen upon a beautimous sunset!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Wow. That's all I can really say about this past weekend. I'm about to drop al the gory details of Biz and Shawn's wedding weekend. It's going to be long, dramatic and probably at times inappropriate. So read at your own risk. I think there are too many glorious details so I will go about this in a different way.

Betty's Wedding Weekend top 22 hit list
22) Talking to Biz while on honey moon. Never have I been so excited and or emotional. I may have cried. Just a technicality..
21) Seeing people that I have not seen in forever
20) I love a good wedding weekend. Who doesn't?
19) I did my own makeup. And I liked it.
18) Fried Catfish bites at the rehearsal dinner
17) Laughing hystaricaly during all of the speeches at the rehearsal dinner. I may have peed my pants.
16) Wearing my pajamas around town and in public all day Saturday
15) My hair stylist, Caroline Senf
14) Macaroni and Cheese and Venison at the reception
13) The photographer (Juliet Elizabeth) was incredible
12) The groomsmen. They were hilarious. And the bridesmaids. I love them.
11) I got to wear my cowboy boots the whole time. They make me feel super Sassy.
10) Our flowers. They were stinking awesome.
9) Picture time at Pepper. It was funny. It was sentimental. It was freezing. And it was super Pinteresty. Not gonna lie- I can't wait to see them.
8) Going to the Avett Brothers last night. Saw like 34 of my future husbands. The Avett Bros were awesome. I would really like to be in that band.
7) The three Sarah's. Acker, Macabee and Sass. Three Sarah's in one bridal party. I love them. A lot.
6) The dress. Okay. Here we go. The dress at the beginning is always the pits for me. I normally hate it. But, Allison, the dress fairy, has made me come to like the bridesmaidial process. She knows me (and my quirks). I hope I never have to go elsewhere for the things, but we will have a bad situation on our hands. Who will I call 1 week before the wedding with a dress emergency? Seriously- she's a good woman since she has had to deal with me on several occasions. But, wearing a dress that you actually love is a GAME CHANGER. Seriously. I loved it. I wan to keep wearing it. I actually felt great in it. Plus it was suitable for my dance moves.

5) The Foxworth Family (These are not in order of importance now that we are in the top 5). I flat out love them. I would like for them to adopt me or something because they are great. Let's give it up for Travis (brother of the bride and good dance partner). I loved getting to know him. Tracy is awesome too. Mr. Foxworth is darling. But, my heart goes to Tammy. She is the woman! No lie. I dragged her onto the dance floor like 8 times at the reception. And we are still friends. I can't wait to go hang in Georgetown. Pajama party! The Ford Family. I really don't even know how to accurately describe them. I wouldn't mind being adopted by them either. They throw a good party. Momma Ford is seriously an angel. Plus she makes the best friend st drink and a darn good sandwich.
4)Ending the night with the Clarkes and Rennie at Waffle House. Boom! The awful Waffle is always a clear sign of a great night. Circa 2003.
3)The Ceremony. It was incredible. Besides being deathly afraid of the wedding director, all went well. It was beautiful. I think it was the most emotional and spiritual thing I have been a part of. The music knocked me off of my feet. Not to get to deep on here, but the Holy Spirit was all up on that mama jama. When Biz came down the aisle, I literally could not breathe. The music was timed perfectly. I have never been so moved like that. I wish it was recorded. I was balling. Tears were a flowing. She was BEAUTIFUL. I mean, holy cow.

Hunter sang during the ceremony and I balled once again. Typical.
2) The trolley ride. I cannot give too many details here. But, holy smokes. Betty B was in rare form my friends. I don't know what was going on. Best ride of my life. I made a few friends on that lil jaunt. It pretty much set the tone of the night for me. Don't judge.

**There is a tie for #1
1-A) Biz and Shawn. I love them. I love them separately and I love them together. I'm not expert, but that is a good sign. I think. Seriously. The prayer and preparation that has gone into this is incredible. To get to see a relationship from the beginning is pretty cool. I remember getting coffee with Biz every week just day dreaming about all this (hopefully it won't now be one-sided...). Shawn is AWESOME. I can't wait to hang with them. Biz is one of my best and greatest friends. Even though she is cooler and sports way cooler hunting clothes than me- I love her. Plus, she's my prayer partner:)
1-B) The reception. Oh gosh. I would to just be called Mustang Sally now. I think that is totally appropriate. I only left the dance floor for food and drink. Should have opted for more food. It's safe to say that I left a mark on the dance floor. Or maybe it left a mark on me. I'm not positive. All I am sure of is that I got to not only start, but drive the train. Wedding reception Sarah is kind of my favorite version. Just being real here. It was decorated perfect. The band was awesome. And they brought a tambourine. It somehow ended up in my hands... Ooops.

At first I was bummed that I didn't take any more pictures, but I'm thinking that leaving the night as a mystery is probably better... I wish the night never ended. My boots are definitely broken in now. Be proud- I only slapped the floor twice. Due to peer pressure. You know who you are. Gah! That was fun. It's always a good sign when you wake up sore from dancing so hard. Best reception I think I have ever been to. Too bad I can't hit replay.

So there you have it. It was a very, very stellar weekend was had. I think ol Betty Bridesmaid is retired for now. I bid you farewell.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I got 3 inches cut off my head today. Yeah. You heard right. Today was maintenance day. I was feeling vulnerable at the salon. I volunteered myself to have my brows done. Terrible idea. Then I have no idea what came over me. I found myself asking about the lip. You know, the lip. Every woman's pain in the tush. (maybe not every woman.) Next thing I know the lady is telling me to be calm. Close my eyes. Count to ten. (Boys- you have it so so good). Then came the most excruciating pain. It was horrid. I think I can now handle child birth. I may have dropped the f bomb. I will not confirm or deny that.

May or may not have cried... Just saying. All in the name of beauty... Dear Lord take me now.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Here is the situation. No judgements please. I know that I have weird bridal anxiety. No need to kick a dead horse. So around the 1st week of January Biz delivered to us our bridesmaid dresses. So naturally it rode in the car with me a few days and then was migrated up to my room. To bask in all it's glory in my closet at the girl palace. Well, I may or may not of forgotten about it. Until 2 weeks ago. Two Tuesdays ago, at midnight I couldn't sleep. My inner conscious was throwing up a flag. So at midnight I got up and turned on all of my lights and opened the closet. Judgement day. I'm not super positive why I fear the dresses. I think it has to do with some vulnerability/insecurity issues. (I have now learned my lesson) So I begin to put the dress on. All is well. Until we get to the zipping it up portion of our ride. Damn thing just won't zip. Panic immediately sets in. I'd like to say that it was mild at first, but we went straight into a stage 10 meltdown. It wasn't pretty. I took it off, said a prayer and put it back on. Still a no go. I tried that once more (by now I was desperate). I mean, I had been eating Luna bars for weeks and my jeans have been sagging off. What is the problem? I decide to take the 3 other bridesmaid dresses out of the closet. I put them all on to make sure that I didn't gain 211lbs since October. They all fit. Even better than before. Oh crud. What to do now? I got back in bed. To lie in my own miserableness for the next 6 hours. I was racking my brain with terrible thoughts. I've single handily ruined this wedding. What do I do? Why? The bride will hate me? Maybe I can dye my other dress? Maybe not? I have terrible luck. Totally normal thoughts right?

I woke up early and went to work. Counting the minutes until The Dressing Room opened at 10. You know, the place I just love to go?? NOT. Never have I been so anxious to get to the seamstress. So I roll up. Nerve racked and terrified. I walked straight to the back to Ms. Betty. The alteration angel. She told me to calm down and strip down. (Oh yay..) So I get the dress on and she says, "ooh. man. this ain't good." Oh man was I encouraged. I seriously thought I was going to throw up right in the dressing room. Luckily I maintained my sanity. She sent me down to Bella Bridesmaid, but no one was there. I literally thought I would die on the spot. There I was. Standing on King St. Crying in front of La Hacienda. Passerbys prolly thought that I had just been dumped or something. I just decided to stand there and wallow in my disaster. I walked on back to Ms. Betty. Later I got in touch with the Bad A bridal Magician. If you don't know who that is- Its Allison at Bella Bridesmaid. The only person that makes me want to buy a dress. Mad skills people. What can I say. She worked her magic.

The magical piece of crinkled chiffon (who the heck would have thought that I would know what that is) that was needed to fix my wardrobe malfunction would be here next week. Exactly one week before I would be tripping down the aisle. That would mean that I would have just a few days for Ms. Betty the alteration angel to work her magic. Let's just say that I have been on pins a needles. For reals. I went in today to check on the dress and guess what? It was too big... So tomorrow I go back. I now will no longer wait so long to try it on. Procrastination, stubbornness and insecurity do not add to a situation my friends. That's just a little nugget of wisdom if you want it. No harm no foul. So bottom line- the last two weeks in my own personal fashion world have been a bit hellacious. So if you have found me edgy of late- now you know why. So hopefully Saturday will be a good one. I have to say- I like the dress. Okay, okay. I LOVE the dress. I kid not. I can see myself wearing it again. To fancy princess balls. To deb parties. To weddings. To Trader Joe's. Okay. Maybe not to Trader Joe's. I'm getting delirious. So there you have it. The most dress hating girl has come to love a dress. Kill me now.

Monday, February 6, 2012

This weekend was full of adventure. On saturday me, Betsy and Leigh headed to the woods to some hour wheelin. Not going to lie- we were pretty bad A. We took the trails. Except the last leg. You see, we got on the trail thinking that it was 12 miles long. At around 5 pm we passed mile marker 17. Oops. We thought that maybe we looped on to another trail. It began to get dark. We were trying to keep our cool. A mile later we ended up on the hwy. Oops again. After some good navigating, we came flying into the trail head right before dark. Only to be warned that we had just missed $500 worth of Federal fines. Ooops. It was hilarious. I would like to note that we three are pretty cool gals. Not to toot our horns or anything.

Yesterday was so so so beautiful. I decided that I needed some Sarah time. And some boat time. So I took the ol boat out. I made a playlist and grabbed my boots then headed for the landing. It was AWESOME. I headed north up the Wando. I took my fly rod so that I could practice some fly casting in the elements. I don't know if you have ever fly casted before, but it is seriously one of the most theraputic things I have ever done. You are standing on the bow of the boat, nothing in front of you except water and beautiful landscape and it feels like time stops. I'm not joking. I love it. I love the feel of it. I love the sound of it. I could be out there all day. It was one of the most serene times that I have ever had on the boat.

I finished it up with some super bowl watching with some of my favorite peeps.

Friday, February 3, 2012

BEHOLD, hell hath frozen over. Okay, okay that is a bit dramatic, but I have reason to celebrate. Last night I went one on one with the Pinterest. Mano y mano. (no idea if that is spelled right). Last time Pinterest and I went at it- I got my arse kicked. I was determined this time. I had done my research and was ready. I was going to make goat cheese, 3 cheese mac n cheese in the cast iron skillet. Yeah, you heard right. So I went to the Trader Joes to get my arsenal. I'm staying with the Wagner ninas, so I had good food tasters (which included their small pack of friends). I was a bit nervous that this would flop and there would be 4 hungry teenagers judging me (just a small thought). I turned on my new (and incredibly awesome) music, opened a nice cold diet coke, lit a candle and got to work. I also sauteed some mixed veggies and pan cooked some chicken breasts marinated in Sweet Baby Ray's Terryaki sauce. Yum yum in the tum tum. One hour later- we were ready to roll. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised that I made the mac n cheese without any major probs. So BOOM. Pinterest, it is now 1 to 1. Here is the mac n cheese:

Not to toot my own horn here, but I'm 100% proud of myself. If you think about it, say a prayer. Betty Bridesmaid is off to meet her destin today. It will either be awesome. Or terrible. I will keep you posted.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I hope you enjoyed the video from my previous post. Seriously, I am pretty sure that we would be besties. Many of you have commented that I haven't blogged as much lately, but I just haven't been on my game, but hopefully the tides will turn. I have been flat out slammed at work and I am pretty sure that after this past week, I could navigate the hollows of Ladson rode with my eyes closed. To those not from this glorious place- Ladson Rd ain't pretty. It inspires me to work hard. No offense. Mattie and I filmed most of our lil movie for the Women's Retreat. Side note: SIGN UP ASAP. YOU WANT TO COME. TRUST ME. I'm pretty proud of our skit. Since we made it up. And did not practice one time. Other than that, I have mostly been working. Last weekend Herb and I got to meet John Smoltz (one of our hero's), I got to hang at the Clayton's and the Senf's, one of my non-biological little bros got a gf (no comment-I am coping) and I basically destroyed Temple Run (3.6 million)-Now I have nothing to work for. I may have to retire Temple Run. It was a good time...

I do have some breaking news: I, Sarah Sass, have entered 2012. Yes, I am now in possession of an IPhone. I put up a fight, but was lured in. And now I'm pretty glad to have one. I escaped to have some Sarah time the other night and used my phone to grab this:

I think it takes pretty good pictures. It will definitely come in handy. But, I have vowed to myself to not become obsessed. Like many people I come across. Other breaking news- I follow a hilariously inappropriate slash AWESOME blog called peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat. Well it just so happens that the author of that blog commented on my bachelorette post. I think I reached my blogging high. I was so excited. Yet I had no one to share this news with because people just wouldn't understand. So there you have it. I do have some things going on, but I am going to wait to share. Get excited though because Betty Bridesmaid will be back. She has a story. But, I'm waiting on the outcome before I share her nuggets. Trust me- it's good.