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The Official FYA INSURGENT Drinking Game

If you want to survive this movie, you're gonna have to get a little Dauntless (with alcohol).

So Insurgent is a movie that happened.

I honestly don't know if I could have made it through the film without the support of my book club and my other close friend, alcohol. This drinking game practically wrote itself, although I did get some excellent input from Kandis, who spent the movie valiantly trying not to laugh (and mostly succeeded).

If you're heading to the theater to um, experience Insurgent, arm yourself with liquor and this drinking game, then join me after the movie for some catty convo below because WHAT WHO WHY HOW THIS MOVIE.

Take a drink when:

- The camera zooms in on that ridiculous box.

- There's a dream sequence.

- The film diverges wildly from the book.

- Shailene shares a scene with all three of her movie boyfriends.

- Tris cuts her hair.

- Peter is the worst but Miles Teller makes you love him anyway.

- Eric looks constipated.

- Caleb is a huge, useless weenie.

- Uriah appears. (Because Keiynan Lonsdale!!!)

- The Divergent % meter is used.

- Tris has Guy Fieri hair (i.e. sticking straight up).

- Tris says, "I know this doesn't make any sense."

Take a shot when:

- Peter says, "Go with happiness."

- Four removes his shirt.

- Tris "dies."

- Peter says, "Do that thing you do."

Chug for the duration of:

- Four running in front of the train.

Okay, so if you've seen the movie, can we talk about some things?

- I wasn't a huge fan of this book, but the film adaptation seemed to make all of the dubious plot points even more ludicrous. When Tris says, "I know it doesn't make any sense," I totally guffawed out loud. Because IT DOESN'T. The filmmakers certainly weren't shy about straying from the source material, but why make changes that aren't improvements?

- I mean, that box. That box, you guys. It was SO DUMB.

- Keiynan Lonsdale should have gotten way more screen time.

- Four was only shirtless for, like, two seconds. WRONG.

- Did that scene with the Factionless in the train car remind anyone else of this? (And while I love Adventures in Babysitting, I don't mean this in a good way.)

- There's a 16 year age difference between Naomi Watts and Theo James. So yeah, technically she could be his mom but still, it feels creepy. (Which is why that dream sequence of her sitting on the bed and saying, "I always loved watching him sleep," was particularly effective.)

- Miles Teller was obviously the best part of this hot mess movie. Every time he walked on screen, it felt like Christmas because I was SO DESPERATE for something good.

So, what did y'all think? Was Insurgent a fail? Or am I just a grumpy old lady who hates fun? Sound off in the comments! And remember, go with happiness.*