Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Adult Tantrums. Not Big and Not Clever.

Do you remember when you were a child and all of your troubles seemed like the end of the world?

That time as a teenager when one of your friends said to one of her friends, who told her cousin, who told her brother, about the boy who smiled at you in assembly and you smiled back? That feeling of betrayal was horrific, wasn't it? Or getting a spot? (actually, I still suffer this drama, I curse my teenage-like skin) or being told that you had to be in at ten pm when all of your friends were allowed to stay out until eleven (Ok, they were allowed to stay out until 10.30, but you made sure you told your parents it was later)

And what did you do?

Exactly, you acted like a child. Tantrums were cool when you were a child, You threw your toys out of the pram, (Sometimes literally) and then gathered yourself up and moved on.

The teenage equivalent of building a bridge and getting the fuck over it, I suppose.

The thing about tantrums is that they are (reasonably) cute in toddlers, unavoidable in teenagers and part and parcel of 'hand-rearing' children. ( I have searched for the cage method in children, apparently this is frowned upon)

What I will not accept is that a full-blown tantrum is ever cute or acceptable in an adult.

Use your words people. Over the last couple of weeks I have observed a couple of full-blown tantrums from adults, and I have to admit they were all women and in public. (There was even screaming from one woman)

Trust me here, if anyone I knew threw a tantrum in public while I was with them, I would end up putting them over my knee, or to borrow a phrase from my mother "Give them something to cry for" (Anyone else find themselves using that one themselves? It is actually a REALLY threatening sentence when you think about it)

No way am I putting up with that. WHY would anyone think they could get away with it? And WHO lets them? Because someone in their lives obviously does for them to think they can carry on doing it. I was embarrassed just watching. (Of course I watched, I was embarrassed, but not that embarrassed I wouldn't stand there and gawp incredulously)

Am I alone in thinking that tantrums are like farting in a lift? (Wrong on all levels)

If a Snake throws a tantrum, is it a 'hissy fit'?

Or do you use tantrums to get what you want? (Anonymous comments, as always, are welcome here, unless you are a Chris Brown fan, or my mother)

5 comments

Not acceptable. You're an adult, if you can't keep yourself in check or at least do it in private then you need to have a talking with yourself. I've seen folk have a tantrum because someone hasn't done what they wanted and honestly it made me think what a total asshole. Temper tantrums on adults just make me want to slap them.

We internalise our tantrums which could potentially be more dangerous as they last for longer and you never release that anger. It then creeps up on you days later and you blow at the slightest thing like milk is left out of the fridge leaving you a sobbing heap at the kitchen table.

As someone with mental health problems, having tantrums on a bad day is, whilst possibly embarrassing, often inevitable. Something I would find easy to cope with one day can, and has, on a bad day had me lying down in a supermarket crying (on that occasion Asda, because it was 'too loud')

I'm sure some adult tantrums are childish and due to someone getting their own way too much. However I've had tantrums which I literally couldn't help due to the world just seeming too big, too scary, too small, too loud, too quiet, or any number of things that today seems ridiculous.

I used to work with an autistic child of 7 who would often tantrum because I was using behavioural techniques in public, and would get 'looks' because he was too old, or on one occasion even told to just 'give him what he wants to shut him up' - once I explained he's autistic people understood, even if begrudgingly. I kind of see mental health in that way. Yes, the fact I'm 37 might mean me having a tantrum because you want me to do something I don't want to do is ridiculous, childish and embarassing, but depending on my mood it might be the only way I can deal with what you're asking of me

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