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Tuesday, 13 September 2011

On being a more playful parent

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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I swear I was a more patient mother before I had two children. Looking after a two year old was easier. Then we had a new baby and my daughter turned three. Don't blame the terrible twos yet, wait until they are three!
Looking after a toddler and a young baby is not always easy. Caring for your new born makes you feel exhausted and three year olds can be tricky. As they want to become more independent, they can be tiring.
This sometimes made me angry. I found myself yelling at my child. As the months passed, it wasn't getting any better.
One day I came across a book: Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen. I wrote about this book here and here.
Thanks to this book, I am more patient and better at keeping my cool.
I have learned to remember that I am the adult and I can change the direction of things. I have learned to remember that however disappointing my child's behaviour is, she is only 4 years old and has good intentions.
A few weeks ago, my daughter got angry with me. I can't remember why but she started sulking. So I looked at her and started making silly faces. She started to smile. I said "No, you shouldn't laugh, you are cross at mummy!". She started to laugh and as I repeated it we were both laughing and the tension was gone. We were ready to reconnect.
I cannot say I am there yet but being playful has definitely made a positive impact on our relationship. I don't find it easy to be playful every time such a situation rises, but it is getting better.

***Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.

Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.

No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.

I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.

A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.

Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.

Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.

Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family's way of life and making her an active part of her environment.

Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.