Encounter with prostitute, is it safe to date?
#198747 - 07/04/06 03:19 AM

Reply

Quote

Good evening, this is a tough post for me. I hope this question isn't too controversial, but I think its something a lot of us deal with. I am looking for honest and open repsonses. Please respond.

Last week I had an encounter with a prostitute. She is a woman who gives massages and provides sexual services. She gave me a massage and then PROTECTED oral sex. No fluid exchange. An old girlfriend gave me a call tonight and we have a date this week. If I want to be intimate with her, I will most likely be able to.

I have seen prostitutes before. I also have a touch of OCD and most likely fall into the category of "worried well" (I have put some "worried posts" here before). Based on what I have learned about HIV/AIDS I realize that the chances of me being infected are virtually zero, but nothing is 100% certain. Is it safe to date and have PROTECTED SEX with my ex-girlfriend? I have 2 thoughts on this...

1) Normally after an encounter with a prostitute, I would beat myself up for 8-13 weeks, avoid all dating situations and get tested (always negative). This time I am looking at the cold, hard facts, and I just don't see how it is even remotely possible I am infected. I am starting to think that this time I shouldn't let the guilt of my ecounter with the prostitute ruin my life. While I am not "proud" of seeing a professional, I was responsible and safe, and if I continute to act in that manner there is no reason why I can't date and be intimate with this woman.

2) While there is virtually no chance of infection, the mere notion that I am not 100% certain of my status after this encounter means that I should not pursue any sexual encounters. If I turned out to be positive I would be devastated, but it would be my behavior that led to the situation. To put someone else at risk, however small, is not responsible or fair. If I infected someone else (knowing I had an experience with a prostitute) I would never forgive myself. My ex-girlfriend is also a single-mother with a young daughter. In short, its just not worth it, and 8 weeks of abstinence is the price I have to pay for seeing a professional.

I realize this is a decision I have to make on my own, but I am looking for advice, dialogue, and any thoughts people on this forum may have.

here's my take........... You need to really stop with the whole HIV thing. Nobody here is going to feed into your thoughts of having HIV or tell you to test for HIV with that exposure. It was safe to get the oral anyway and you topped that off with a condom. My concern with you is that you go out and do this then kill yourself over what you did. If you know your going to put yourself thru this, why do it? Is the 10 min of fun worth the 3 months of hell that you go thru for no reason worth it? Put your big boy pants on and get real, you had no exposure.........................period. As far as hiring for sex then dating a lady with little ones, you need to be honest with this gal about what you do if you decide to spend more time with her. Hiring for sex is not only against the law but it's a bad habit that most women will find a bit nasty. This is just my opinon and I'm not trying to be mean just honest. Shit I cheated on my husband with a pos guy so I'm not claiming to be perfect just keeping it real. It's not you that is nasty, but any women who sells herself for sex is nobody I would touch with a ten foot pole.

Obviously, sex with a prostitute is a marvelous way to catch a smorgus board of sexually transmitted diseases. However, the fact that you use protection during these encounters makes all the difference in the world.

If you are using protection during both oral and vaginal sex with these women (from the beginning of the sexual act to the end), then as you have already discovered, the chances of you cataching an STD, including HIV, is virtually zero. (Herpes, however, is spread through skin to skin contact and a condom may not offer full protection).

If you feel guilty after having relations with a prostitute, then stop seeing them.

The Body is a service of Remedy Health Media, LLC, 750 3rd Avenue, 6th Floor, New York, NY 10017. The Body and its logos are trademarks of Remedy Health Media, LLC, and its subsidiaries, which owns the copyright of The Body's homepage, topic pages, page designs and HTML code. General Disclaimer: The Body is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice or professional services. The information provided through The Body should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease. It is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, consult your health care provider.