Right now Nick is retired, unless he gets rematch with Georges St. Pierre or the big Anderson Silva fight. Apparently, if he doesn’t get those, he’s going to remain retired.

As a longtime fan of Diaz (his fighting style, at least), this “news” did not come as a shock to me, but was disappointing to hear nonetheless. Not because it means we won’t be seeing Diaz in the octagon anytime soon, but because this “I won’t play unless you pass me the ball,” retirement-as-a-bargaining-tool mentality represents the straw that has finally broke this camel’s back.

Following his unanimous decision loss to Georges St. Pierre at UFC 158, Diaz’s camp first accused Georges St. Pierre’s handwraps of being shady in an effort to demonstrate that Nick Diaz was the victim of a massive conspiracy. That didn’t work, so then a video of the “Canadian loophole” was leaked to prove that the champion was allowed to weigh 0.9 pounds over the 170-pound weight limit. Of course, it turns out that Quebec’s athletic commission has consistently allowed this since UFC 83 in 2008, so that option isn’t nearly as scandalous as it once appeared. Now today, Diaz’s camp accused Quebec’s athletic commission of failing to properly supervise St. Pierre during his post-fight drug test.

But that’s not all. In an email sent to MMAFighting.com, Diaz camp representative Jonathan Tweedale explained that they intend to file a formal complaint regarding the events that took place before and after UFC 158. In this email, not only does Tweedale make it clear that Diaz and company were not impressed by the Quebec commission’s performance, but he goes as far as to write that Nick Diaz deserves a rematch against GSP. Via MMA Fighting:

“The Quebec Commission’s statement is a disappointing admission that the March 16 event was not conducted under the rules applicable to a UFC title fight – or under the rules the fighters contractually agreed to, upon which rules Mr. Diaz was entitled to rely under his bout agreement,” stated Jonathan Tweedale, a Diaz camp representative.

“He wants to take a couple of months off because his two fights were very close to each other and he wants to enjoy the summer,” Zahabi told TVA Sports. “We haven’t talked to the UFC yet, so we don’t know what their plans are for Georges yet.”

Get comfortable, Johny. You’re about to have some free time on your hands.

(“Yup. That’s an Affliction shirt alright. This guy must be guilty of something.” #DanaWhite’sInnerThoughts.)

You might have missed it during the UFC 158 post-fight press conference, but midway through Nick Diaz’s clusterfuck of a rant aimed at the UFC, wrestlers, his teammates, Stephen Hawking’s wormhole theory, etc., the Stockton native made note that there was something unusual about Georges St. Pierre’s hand wraps as well. Granted, Diaz also stated that GSP was on steroids, but while that accusation would require a little more, you know, evidence before anyone starts buying into it, the idea that St. Pierre and the Jackson camp might be stretching the rules in regards to his hand wraps didn’t seem that far outside the realm of possibility given the champ/camp’s history withgreasing allegations.

It all started when fellow Team Gracie/UFC fighter Jake Shields sent out a vague, accusatory tweet (Author’s Note: Truly a Team Gracie member, amiright?) aimed at GSP in the moments leading up to the fight:

I just checked GSP’s gloves and the wrap looked shady…now commission won’t let me back. Been trying to for the past 30 minutes…. Not saying he’s cheating but wtf?!

Things only got more tense once Team Cesar Gracie demanded to inspect St. Pierre’s wraps after he had already been gloved up. Thankfully, Dana White was able to make sense of the whole situation during the UFC 158 media scrum.

(If there was ever an image that summed up Nick Diaz’s mental state at all times, this is it. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

By Jack Saladino

After months, nay, years of hype, trash-talking, late night hotel stalking incidents, and promises of Georges St. Pierre unleashing “his dark side,”UFC 158 finally transpired last weekend to mixed reception. While no one was left questioning how great the night’s co-main event battle between Carlos Condit and Johny Hendricks was, GSP’s one-sided, grappling-heavy routing of Nick Diaz — which has become the champ’s M.O. as of late — left more than a few fans wondering just what it would take to get St. Pierre to actually try and finish an opponent. Because if that was his dark side, well, it looked a hell of a lot like his regular side.

On the other side of the coin, many fans saw GSP’s performance as the epitome of dominance and classiness in the face of an adversary that thrives when coercing opponents into playing his game, often through mental warfare and now attempted cheap shots after the bell. Based on his continually skyrocketing ticket sales, it appears that no one has grown tired of St. Pierre’s shtick just yet, but will a fight with Hendricks succeed in bringing in anywhere near as many ticket/PPV sales? And if not Hendricks, then who?

It’s not an easy question for UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to answer, but luckily for him, this is typically the time when the Armchair Matchmaker swoops in and all but does his job for him. So join us after the jump as we break down the potential futures of last weekend’s biggest winners (and some of the losers) in an effort to once again bail out Silva and get ourselves back into the UFC’s good graces. You could detect the sarcasm in that last statement, right?

(You are a great champion and you hit like a girl. I want to retire and I want a rematch. / Photo via MMAWeekly)

Before the judges’ decision for UFC 158′s main event between Georges St. Pierre and Nick Diaz was even announced, Diaz walked over to the man he’d been taunting for years and raised the champion’s hand. It was a far cry from the head games Diaz had been playing with Georges – calling him a coward, accusing him of using steroids, taking swings at him after a round bell, etc. – and St. Pierre returned the gesture of respect in his post-fight comments in the ring to interviewer Joe Rogan.

It did not take long, however, for Diaz to once more insult St. Pierre, at the post event press conference. “He hits like a woman,” a battered Diaz told the assembled media.

“He has his full on range to separate and punch me, but he hits like a girl because he’s too scared to let go to get a real punch in…Five rounds woke me up, I’m ready to fight.”

We’re not sure how Diaz’ buddy Ronda Rousey would feel about him using the female tag as an insult, but she’d probably advise the challenger to make sure he’s ready at the opening bell next time, instead of after twenty five minutes in.

That is, anyway, if Diaz ever even fights again. The veteran re-stated his interest in retiring from the sport he’s competed in professionally since adolescence. “I’m trying to retire,” Diaz said. “I’m trying to get out of this gig, but I would love a rematch. I think I could beat you. I really do, I think I could beat him. I think I could stop the take downs for the first two rounds and get to fight my whole fight and I think I could beat you.”

UFC President Dana White was succinct in shutting down any notion of an immediate title shot for Diaz. “He wouldn’t get a rematch off that fight,” White said. “Johny Hendricks deserves the next shot.”

White also had some advice for Diaz after another strange admission from the California resident. Nick Diaz told the media that he has never paid taxes in his life and that he expects to go to prison for it.

“I’ve never paid taxes in my life,” Diaz revealed.

“I’m probably going to go to jail. And no one wants to hear that kind of talk and what’s going on with me. I might as well just be a kid. I’ve had fight after fight after fight after fight, and you don’t know what that does to somebody who didn’t graduate high school.”

“Holy sh_t. That’s sad,” White said of Diaz’ admission. “You wanna talk about sad? That’s sad. Somebody better handle that with this check and make sure that kid doesn’t end up with nothing.”

Diaz’ manager Cesar Gracie should add getting his client to pay his taxes to the long list of things he should be doing as a part of his job, along with getting him to show up to contractually obligated events.

Oh yeah, Diaz said he slept until 8pm the day of the event and criticized his coaching and teammates as absent and negligent.

Craziness. Anyway, check out video of the full press conference after the jump to get your share of Diaz excuses, Diaz praising St. Pierre, Diaz insulting St. Pierre, and much more.

GSP. Diaz. The Bell Centre in Montreal. That’s right, Potato Nation, it’s finally time for UFC 158. If I need to say literally anything else to get you excited about this card, there is no hope for you at this point. Please show yourself out quietly, and no, we don’t care how exciting you think spring league baseball nonsense is.

But Georges St. Pierre vs. Nick Diaz isn’t the only great welterweight fight we have to look forward to tonight. Elsewhere on the card, Johny Hendricks battles Carlos Condit, and Jake Ellenberger welcomes Nate Marquardt back to the big leagues. Plus: A middleweight tilt between Nick Ring and Chris Camozzi, as well as a lightweight bout between TUF finalists Mike Ricci and Colin Fletcher, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Handling tonight’s liveblog will be none other than Aaron Mandel, who will diligently record every punch, kick, and Stockton Heybuddy thrown in the cage after the jump, beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss your own observations into the comments section. Let’s do it…