The Trailer For ‘Unbroken,’ Angelina Jolie’s Biopic About One Of The All-Time Badasses

It’s hard to call anyone dying a good thing, but Louis Zamperini’s death last week at the age of 97 almost couldn’t have been timed better to promote ‘Unbroken,’ the Angelina Jolie-directed film about Zamperini’s life. Chronicled in Lauren Hillenbrand’s ‘Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption,’ first Zamperini was an immigrant who became an Olympian in 1936 in Berlin, then he survived 47 days in shark-infested water while being strafed by the Japanese after his plane was shot down during the war, then he lived through daily beatings in a Japanese POW camp. I’m sick of all these heroic biopics trying to make me feel bad. How about one about a guy who was a real alright dude to all his friends, as long as they never asked him to help them move, and one time hit a really nice tee shot?

Anyway, I’m hoping for a war movie and a shark movie all wrapped in one. The film opens Christmas Day, and the Coen Brothers apparently worked on the screenplay (along with Richard LaGravanese and William Nicholson). I never saw Angelina Jolie’s last movie, ‘In The Land Of Blood And Honey,’ but I figure at the very least, she’ll be like the hot girl in high school who always has good term papers because the smartest kids in school are all falling all over themselves to write it for her.

Ok, is there a reason that we have to say 47 days in shark infested waters? first of all, sharks are everywhere. The last time you were in the ocean, there was no doubt a shark within a couple hundred yards – doesn’t matter where you were. Moreover, you cannot say how large the numbers were so as to call them infested, which even more troublingly implies that they intend to cause harm or damage – which they do not in regard to humans – sharks don’t really eat people. most “bites” are incidental and have clear attributable causes – being eaten is so rare as to be be non-existent.

long story short – just say 47 days at sea in a life raft. That’s realistic and not just fluff. And let’s not get me started on the alleged “strafing.”

Actually, if you look at old photos from the era and before, you’d be surprised at the number of haircuts that look like today’s fashions. I love old photos, and have noticed a surprising number of skater haircuts from 30’s and 40’s. It’s pretty funny.

Strangely, people can grow seemingly well-manicured chin beards as their normal facial hair. This guy went to my high school and ended up competing on Survivor (where CBS changed his name from boring ol’ “Oscar” to the hip and radical dude “Ozzy”), and other than being a badass in the feats of skill he is also my prime evidence for “strangely natural well-manicured chin beard”[img2-1.timeinc.net]

I saw In the Land of Blood and Honey, and despite a pretty awesome name it was basically just characters literally telling us about the story. Coen brothers helping out is a good sign, but they would be better off editing than just writing.