Updated 2008-10-05 17:38:55

Updated 2008-10-06 00:09:21

I haven't really looked at my feet closely for, I dunno, a week despite a throbbing pain every now and then. I decided to just take a quick look to actually see what was wrong, and it turns out that I have an ingrown toe nail. Does anyone have some home remedies for this?

Ever woke up and needed to piss really badly, but instead you notice your dick is awake too? Seriously, if this has happened to you, which it probably has, you'd know that the only thing you can to is wait for four minutes for it to go away, meanwhile practically pissing yourself. Or go to the bathroom and bend over into the most awkward position, like you're waiting for someone to come over and stick something in your ass.

For you girls out there, just watch the first 10 minutes of the 40 year old virgin and you'll get what I'm talking about.

I hate morning wood for the most part. I mean, it's impossible to do anything with it, not even fap.