October 25, 2011

That’s Not Beef, That’s Pork

If what Jonah Hill says is true–and Matthew Morrison isn’t denying it–then good for Jonah for calling him out. In fact, if there’s one thing missing from Hollywood, it’s two actors publicly calling each other out.

I liked Jonah’s tirade on ‘Jimmy Fallon’ for two reasons. 1) He’s still funny skinny. He looked startlingly unhealthy and unfunny when he first stepped out in his new frame, but he’s still got it. It’s different, but he’s definitely still got it. 2) Unlike anyone else, he’s so candid about Hollywood events and people.

Morrison’s response:

No one messes with someone from musical theatre. I heard that Jonah Hill said I should bring my shit next time. Well guess what, this is next time! I can sing my way out of it…and I can dance my way out of it. Be very afraid because no one messes with someone from musical theatre…This just got real, man.

How nonthreatening but fitting coming from a dude from theater. Check out Jonah’s interview here.

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Ashton Kutcher‘s mistress revealed the nature of their relationship with Us Weekly, and Kutcher rivals Tiger Woods in weird shit they got caught saying that normal guys wouldn’t. But then again, these are the cheating type.

Kutcher wanted a threesome on his sixth wedding anniversary, and no, Demi Moore was not one of the other two.

After they had sex, he asked if she could name up-and-coming candidates, probably to test how dumb she was.

He looked through her text messages and said “See, this is stuff I can’t have happen” before a bodyguard came in and took her phone away, promising her she’d get it back when she left.

He opened her robe, and when she asked what he was doing, he said, “Just checking. Okay, I did good! You’re really pretty.”

I guess Demi’s jealousy wasn’t without merit, as Kutcher had been chatting up extras in his recent movies. Way to choose that perfect night for that special someone.

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Shia LaBeouf made headlines for some more crazy antics, this time for getting in a bar fight in Vancouver. Allegedly, Shia was drunk and talkative and threatened the shirtless fatty with talks of a knife before getting pounded on outside. I don’t know what was better: the part when his friend pinned him up against the wall, got so close to his face he could’ve kissed him and said, “You better lay low right now.” (As if there are actually good times for Shia to get in bar fights and ruin his lucrative career.) or when Shia allegedly came back up to the window, made a throat-slashing gesture and left. Story and video here.

Ja-Hon, but I don’t think there’s enough posturing via calling out another dude. It’s refreshingly uncommon in a gossipy town.

Good call on Dangerfield. Jonah’s got the dark bags around the eyes and the hairstyle.

Anna, yeah, Jonah’s playing down to Morrison’s level, but that’s seriously messed up that Morrison, who doesn’t even know him, called him out in front of everyone in the Fox room. And he WAS going to confront him at the party when he found out Morrison was talking shit behind his back. I have no problem with what he’s doing, and I think it’s hilarious. C’mon, he’s a comedian.

So Jonah called Matthew out and Matthew responded to settle this feud. But Jonah continues to go on shows (Good Day LA) and complain about Matthew. This just makes Jonah look bad in my opinion. If you have a problem with Matthew then figure it out with Matthew. Don’t go in public and continue to complain about the original problem.

Jonah Hill’s interview was pretty money. I actually gained a lot of respect for him in a sense, but honestly it was just as much “Hollywood” posturing on his part for calling out the guy like that. Thankfully, Jonah is saved because of Morrison’s less than convincing retort about messing with someone from musical theatre.

He looks startlingly a lot like Rodney Dangerfield when he was younger, now that he’s a bit less plump.