The Ten Foot Rule

Feeling like a bad parent because you are just one second from losing your cool with your child?

Are you clenching your fists?

Clenching your jaw?

Feeling knots in your stomach?

Heart racing?

Raising your voice?

Rubbing your head because it is about to burst?

Step #1: Remember the 10-Foot Rule!
Make sure that your child is in a safe place and then keep 10 feet away from them until you have had time to calm down.

Step #2: Coach yourself into calmness:
Parenting research says that parents not only need to coach their kids €“ they need to coach themselves!!!! Here are some examples of what parents can say to themselves to calm down:

“This is normal. Every parent has moments when they have totally run out of patience with their child.”

“I am starting to lose it and I need to take a break.”

“Smart parents know when to stay 10 feet away from their kids and calm down!”

“I don’t want to do anything that would hurt my child €“ so I am going to move 10 feet away.”

Step #3: Practice, Practice, Practice:
You can read every parenting tip in the world, but if you don’t USE THE TIPS you won’t improve your parenting.

Practice the 10-Foot Rule:

Practice the 10-foot rule at least once a day €“ even if you aren’t that upset, so that when you do get upset you will know exactly what to do.

Put up a 10-Foot Rule Sign:
Put a sign on your fridge or your mirror or on your calendar that says, “Don’t forget the 10-foot rule!”

Teach a Friend:
One of the best ways to learn is by teaching! Tell another parent about the 10-foot rule and then agree to work on it together for one week.

Rewards:
Make a deal with yourself that if you practice the 10-foot rule for week you can go to Tully’s and get coffee or buy flowers for yourself or just give yourself a big gold star in your mind! Rewards are wonderful!!!!