“House Business Is House Business”

The internet blew up Thursday afternoon with the release of a leaked email from an angry University of Maryland Delta Gamma. The letter went viral, people laughed and responses were triggered. What’s lost in all of this is that someone broke the golden rule of being in a fraternity or sorority:

House business is house business.

Period. End of story. While the email was hilarious and served as a wonderful time-waster for my Thursday afternoon, it’s still troubling to me that someone would leak a list serve email to large, national websites like Deadspin and Gawker. Once you’re initiated, everything said within the walls of your house is sacred. The bonds that are made in Greek life are what separate us from the independents.

From the moment I stepped foot into my fraternity house, it was made clear that everything you hear, whether it’s in chapter or on a list serve email is to be kept internally. House business is house business. Secrecy is a pillar in the Greek community, whether it’s rituals, mottos or anything else that might need to be kept out of the eyes and ears of outsiders. While viewed as taboo or unnecessary by those not in the Greek community, secrecy is one of the many things that makes the Greek experience special. Knowing things that only you and your brothers/sisters know about and being able to confide things in your chapter without having to worry about them getting out.

Once this email was leaked, the person who leaked it shattered the trust of their sisterhood and will hopefully be found out and deactivated. House business is house business. Some rules were made to be broken, this is not one of them. Respect the tradition and trust of those who came before you.

The things that are sent out on fraternity and sorority list serves are not to be shared with the public, just as chapter minutes and rituals are not. I know things are different in sororities, as women and men are different animals. Maybe the person who sent this email had made a habit of sending out scathing emails like this in the past. Regardless, run it up the chain of command and don’t embarrass your house. I’m sure UMD’s sorority rush week is going to be a joy next year at the Delta Gamma house with wide-eyed freshmen girls, more importantly those girls’ parents, asking about “that email.”

You’ve set off a ripple effect with one click of a mouse in hopes of embarrassing this girl (who by the way is HILARIOUS and a total smoke show who I would gladly let humiliate me in a public place as long as it led to an all-night sex romp). When in reality, you’ve actually proven her point that your house has a bit of a problem with girls who suck.

Hopefully, this doesn’t set off some sort of viral trend of sorority and fraternity members leaking emails to outsiders. Had this kind of thing happened in my brotherhood, I am positive that there would have been blood. Lots of blood and a swift blackball to the fucker who spilled the beans.

Long story short, resolve these problems within the brotherhood and sisterhood. Sororities are much larger than fraternities are, I get that. Understand this though. You’re part of a community that values trust, friendship and conviction. Get that through your head before you decide to click ‘send‘.

I was in a sorority once. My frat (pike) sent me dressed up as a PNM (with sperrys on) to investigate whether or not they were aware we were slipping things in their drinks at parties (We call them fun starters). I managed to get a bid to the top sorority on campus (probably because of my feminine charms) and there I was. The girls would often have housewide pillow fights and group showers as sisterhood events. During the group showers I would tuck my junk in between my legs and no one would be the wiser. Then one day shit went bad. I’m a little awkward around the guys at parties because knowing I too am a guy makes me think I’m g.a.y. Kind of like that one time in boy scouts where the scoutmaster showed me his weiner, but thats a different story. So anyways our social chair is a total psycho. When she saw me being awkward with a boy at a party and she c.u.n.t punched me. Of course I don’t have a c.u.n.t. so I fell down crying. So she’s like wait a minute, and she bends down and starts playing with my junk. This made me cry harder but it also gave me a huge boner. These tend to go hand in hand with me. I realized the jig was up so I kicked her in the tit(with my sperrys) and ran.

Let’s be honest. The bond between sorority sisters tends to be much weaker, for whatever reason, than the one between brothers. Maybe I’m biased from a guy’s perspective but I’ve repeatedly found this to be true for every fraternity, even the ones I don’t like.

I agree with Strictly, most sororities remind me of high school: shitty blow jobs and groups of girls who hate each other. Every sorority is broken up into groups that seldom see eye to eye with the rest of their chapter. That may be true about some fraternities (none that I have met), but when all cards are on the table, we are still brothers. I wrote a comment similar to this column and I am now starting to think I should not have equated the bods of brotherhood to the seemingly weaker bonds of sisterhood.

^ Could not agree more. Plus I feel in many instances that sororities are just too large for there to be any real friendship. 300, 350, 400 girls at some SEC schools? Ridiculous. I think 100-120 is a perfect size for a fraternity, and you shouldn’t have any more than 150 for sure.

This is obviously a gender problem. I mean we can’t blame her because god decided she wasn’t worthy enough to be a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man we are. She’s just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.

Quiet down boy. Just like you have access to totalfratmove.com, you also have access to the internet and newsworthy sites that can give you all the information on the Boston Marathon bombers. Why are we going to spend so much time promoting the ideas of the Boston bombers, so their ideas get some publicity? Awesome-let’s play into the wishes of terrorism.
Gahhh you probably also cry if someone hits the wrong note during the National Anthem too?