SEARCH

full disclosure: I occasionally use affiliate links in select posts which means I will make a very small commission if you, the reader, make a purchase after clicking said links. I'm just chasing my big dream of being Simon's sugar mother and I hope you don't mind. Thank you kindly.

welcome to Graceland.

Search This Blog

Subscribe by email

how we met

birth novellas

our favorite toys

tried & true baby gifts

recent favorites

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.

b-book it real good

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.

Instagram

fyi!

Occasionally I use affiliate links on this here blog which means that if you click on one of said links and make a purchase, I will receive a very small percentage of the purchase price. This does not cost you any extra lettuce and I appreciate your readership and continued support SO much. Thank you!

10 December 2013

While holding up an admittedly not adorable dress I thrifted for her recently ...
Julia: What dress is this?
Simon: That's the dress you wear when you don't want to make any friends

Noting my good mood and the new living room color the morning he came home from call Simon said, "ah - I see you painted the walls with Prozac."

After he retired into just shirt and boxers to lounge around the house after dinner and before I could say anything Simon said, "Don't give me that look. These are a man's yoga pants."

After I made acorn squash soup for dinner I found that someone had Googled, "acorn squash soup - edible?"

When I reported that Julia had dropped a really bad word bomb at the park, Simon said, "well it is called the mother tongue for a reason."

In the middle of yet another Julia-Sebastian-fight-from-yell-hell, Simon said, "I guarantee cats and dogs say, 'they fight like Julias and Sebastians!!' "

After a picture frame fell down in the middle of a night that Simon was at work and I was sure an intruder was finally going to kill me (until I got brave enough to go find said fallen frame), Simon said, "well your only hope for sleep now involves massive quantities of vodka and Ambien."

When he discovered that I'd purchased pumpkin seed tortilla chips instead of just ye old boring tortilla chips Simon (loudly) said, "expletive expletive EXPLETIVE expletive. More expletives. And a few more expletives."

(oops)

After asking him a question that he didn't know the answer to he very seriously responded, "can't you just ask Tweeter?"

When Julia caught him eating some chocolate ...
Julia: what are you eating?
Simon: poop

Two things: I did an actual fist pump when I saw it was a Simon Says post. I got aggravated that the dog wanted to go out right in the middle of the post. Thank you, Dr. Patton for your sarcasm! And thank you Mrs. Dr. Patton for sharing it with the world!

The poop excuse is a favorite of my husbands, and my three year old loved it around halloween time when they passed out candy at preschool and Ace said "oh yay poop". Great great and more great! Oh and the yoga pants comment, priceless!!! Is he this funny with patients? Please say yes!

You guys sound like our kind of fun. How are those pumpkin tortilla chips? I saw them at Costco the other day and couldn't decide. Good of you to fess up to the language at the park. Our daughter said, "Oh SHIT light, turn GREEN." The baby was screaming so... yeah. That's what I was thinking. I couldn't bring myself to tell Philip. Until now. I just told him. But I told him Julia repeats things Grace says too, so thanks for that :)

"Can't you just ask Tweeter?" HAHAHA. He should feel honored that you chose to ask him before the social networks. There IS a hierarchy and if he's still at the top he clearly doesn't know how good he has it.

It's been way too long since one of these! My husband saw this as a post on Facebook and actually came over to Camp Patton to read it, and then read it out loud to me—marking the first time in his entire life he's ever 1) voluntarily clicked on a mommy blog and 2) deemed any blog post worthy of being read aloud. That pretty much tells you everything!