Some Really, Really Lucky Person Is Going to Get Hired to Study Chocolate

Britain's University of Cambridge is on the hunt for a doctoral student to "study the fundamentals of heat-stable chocolate." For all you non-doctoral candidates out there, that essentially means the candidate would be helping to figure out how to prevent chocolate from melting when it gets warm. You know, important stuff.

The project will investigate the factors which allow chocolate, which has a melting point close to that of the human body, to remain solid and retain qualities sought by consumers when it is stored and sold in warm climates."

The job is slated to begin in January, although there is a bigger downside than the acne the new hire runs the risk of developing: you have to be a EU national to land the gig.

Sorry to dash your hopes. Now go dust off that resume and head back to Monster.com to help you find that non-dream job, while you eat some chocolate to cope with the depression you feel for not having a career to speak of in the first place.