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The Large Hadron Collider at CERN — who can explain what it is and what it does? Nobody except scientists. And who trusts scientists? They’re the ones who invented global warming–or would be, if global warming weren’t a LIE invented by…whom? That’s right: scientists again! It seems you can’t trust scientists at all. They’re all dabbling in God’s domain, trying to find something called the “God Particle.” Well, sir, no god we’ve ever heard of calls himself Higgs-Boson.

It was two years ago today that the LHC discovered just such a particle. It think it’s soooo smart.

This LHC is apparently the most sophisticated piece of machinery ever constructed (source: us). Well you know what happens when you put big dumb machines that are really smart with stupid brainy scientists? That’s right: God complex again! So if you ask us, we’re courting disaster, just waiting for this thing to go all Skynet, or Matrix, or even some futuristic movie, which has yet to be filmed, about machines subjugating man.