Jest for Fun

Lois A. Corcoran I’ve always preferred long hair, but Mom had other ideas. She convinced her active 9-yearold to get a “trim,” and I emerged sporting this hideous beehive do on my head.

I cried for weeks and vowed I’d never again cut it short, and for most of my life, I’ve kept that promise.

At its longest, my hair reached the middle of my back. Of course, that doesn’t take as long for short people like me. But while I yearned for a Lady Godiva image, I ended up looking more like Cousin It.

Even worse, I’m in a constant state of molting. It really does a number on our vacuum when it tangles up the roller in a death grip. Every so often Dan the man has to de-hair it so it can function again.

Reeling a long strand of hair from my mouth is beyond gross. It doesn’t just hide in food though. The other day I crocheted a hair right along with the yarn. And when I wrap gifts, a strand invariably gets trapped under the tape.

Wet hair clings to fingers while dishwashing. The longer the hair, the more tenacious it is. And when I take a shower, it clogs the drain.

No beaver dam is more effective.

It also takes longer to maintain. Consequently, I blow dry it despite the damage it causes. At least it’s controlled blowing, unlike the tangled mess you get from a good stiff breeze.

Despite the drawbacks, many of us prefer it. There’s even an organization out there called “The International Long Hair Club”. I visited it online out of curiosity the other day. Among other things, it includes tips

Kick Ass 2

Running time: 1 hr 43 min

Movie Guide: on how to grow long hair that go beyond the obvious “Don’t cut it”.

Naturally, it offers hair care products, but it also sells the “long hair tape measure,” small enough to fit in your purse. This could prove helpful if you get in a hair-length duel with someone on the street.

A gal on Long Hair Community dot com posted a forum message announcing that her hair was finally long enough to sit on. “Granted my head was a little bent,” she wrote, and I snickered at the visual.

As for mine, it’s long enough to feel feminine but short enough to allow for seating, something I do a lot of these days.