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Wednesday, 24 December 2014

On Finding a Dream

These are the hectic hands juggling
Coals we must collect without burning
Truth is in this darkness no diamonds shine
And what once was a dream resides in an unopened history
I do not have the heart to read these things once again

I know now to grab the glass I break
Whether it fits in the crease of my palm
If we bleed , we bleed , we all bleed red
So let my humanity stain every endeavour
May my regret not tear and cool the coals

May I suffer if it rips my soul from limbs
May I suffer if the sweetness is to teach the heart to want
May I find amongst the shards unwanted dreams

Let me walk if walking is the only way to find a way
And let my hands touch more coals than the wholehearted-
Could dream to know

3 comments:

Probably not as deep or beautiful as you had originally thought but here it is , in all its long rambly glory ...You have a set dream which you lose due to circumstance or your own shortcoming . However in your broken hearted state you are able to appreciate a vast number of smaller dreams which probably don’t belong to you. So in that way you are able to live a fulfilled life by recognizing what to you may be meaningless is in fact somebody elses treasure .

The reference to diamonds is a throwback to an old poem , I think Naseeha and futility , words to the effect of sneaking diamonds in your bag. The diamonds here refer to advice you once gave yourself or others that you cant seem to find or a lifestyle of apparent religious excellence which has evaded you.

The reference to glass is a throwback to I believe the last stanza of ‘windows of opportunity’. The idea again being to grab the shattered glass because the original opportunity broke to give you these smaller shards of opportunity. Blood is a reference to a common humanity but also our commonality of vision yknow we all essentially want the same things from this life and the next, so even though we recognize our pain is common , we sometimes to forget to recognize our circumstances are common too .

Your regret for what has passed of diamonds and visions and wants shouldn’t overwhelm you because as I poorly paraphrase the hadith, faith will be like holding onto burning coals . So the suffering is the very sweetness you need , so you are retraining your heart to see the bigger picture. And then there is also the statement ‘Allah is with those who are broken hearted for his sake’

So really when we miss all the major milestones in our life , or we feel so completely out of it , in that darkness we don’t see any dreams and we lose the diamonds/ advice we once knew so well , in that kind of state pain is progress , pain is clutching onto things that don’t quite fit, out of appreciation for other peoples visions , out of appreciation of God. ‘And if you are grateful I shall certainly give you more’. So maybe gratitude is merely to keep walking to live more visions and dreams than you could ever hope to create , ever have the heart to lose. Maybe gratitude is getting out of bed each morning.

Aaah I’m really averse to explaining my poems , the above is a basic kind of structure . I dunno it means a lot to me so I couldn’t really explain it fully. Hope it helps sis :*