“I’m staying right here. I’ll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana. And then she’ll hear like, thunder or something, and, and she’ll run into my room all scared and stuff, and I’ll be like, ‘Hush my darling, it’s just ionized air molecules expanding’. And she’ll be like, ‘Oh, hold me’, and I’ll like…”

“Well you see, Hank — as near as I was able to discover, when Peter Parker was young in the sixties, he was bitten by a radioactive spider. Now, obviously this is an example of when science happens unscientifically. Of course, we know better now. I have extracted this sample of Parker’s irradiated and mutated DNA and am further irradiating it with Oo-rays. The result should be profound. I will then inject it into your brother like so…”

“Is, like, the needle melting because of the radioactive blood thing–”

“Sample, Hank. Sample. And it’s not blood… entirely. There’s some bile and a little soft tissue–”

“Anyway — did that cause the needle to melt?”

“No, that would be the Oo-Ray. Hold on, we can pop a whole new needle on quick as a whistle–”

Folks, it’s clearly an homage to Steve Ditko’s original Peter Parker: the crewcut, the wardrobe, the slightly hectored look. Whatever resemblance there may be to Dean Venture is superficial. (No freckles, for one thing.)

Keep in mind the title of this series, and the verbal clue from the last update.