What began as a collaborative writing project amongst a school writers' club became... well, a collaborative writing project. But it has evolved into a sprawling fantasy epic.. sort of.. that includes emo bards, prophesies, and magical amulets. Enjoy. R&R

Warning:
This is a story written by multiple teenage authors with imaginations
running wilder than men around Dick Cheney during quail season, and
is therefore subject to many, many
things, including:

Bad
dialogue
Good dialogue
Mediocre dialogue
Sappy love
scenes
Not-so-sappy love scenes
No love scenes
Mythical
creatures
Not-so-mythical creatures
Men with guns
Men with
mustaches
Russian men with guns and
mustaches
Natasha Svetlana
Bad jokes
Good jokes
Inside
jokes
Not-so-inside jokes
Pirates
Ninjas
Fidel Castro and
other dictators
Boats
Boats with pirates, ninjas, and dictators
such as Fidel Castro
Many, many
other things that cannot be thought of due to the evil aliens
suppressing this authors' muse

Please
note: though this story is subject to all these things listed, there
is no guarantee that they will show up. Due to the nature of the
list, however, more than on of these things is bound
to show up at some point.

So...if
you have a daring mind and don't mind the rather frequent changes in
style, syntax, and pen color (feel free to send for the manuscript,
if
you can find our addresses...)
enjoy! Otherwise, go ahead on a vice-presidential quail hunt.

Who
knows, we may even answer the burning question: If
you put a ninja on a boat, does it become a pirate?

So, without further ado, here it is...

Chapter One

"Get
down from there, Rikki!" whispered Gabriel. "They're going to
see you."

"Don't
worry so much Gabe," she told him while climbing back down.
"They're gone."

"Oh.
Good. Be careful or you'll – Rikki!" Gabriel rush over to her,
but she had not fallen far.

"Little
help?" Rikki stuck her hand at Gabe and he helped her up. "Come
on," she said, "while there's still no one there."

The
two walked hurriedly down the road that had been previously occupied
by a group of Kh'ostros. If they hadn't left, Rikki and Gabe
would have been forced to take the long way to the capital.

"Rik,
how long 'til we get there?"

"However
long it takes."

"That's
useful," Gabriel mumbled, slightly annoyed.

The
two continued on in silence for a while until Rikki turned off the
road.

"Hey!"
Gabe shouted at her. "Where are you going?"

Rikki
stopped and looked at him. "Weren't you briefed before we left?"

"What?
No. They told me you
were going to do that."

"Well,
I obviously haven't, so how come you never asked?" Rikki's
temper started to rise.

Gabe
grumbled and followed her. "How long is it going to take? And why
didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

"One,
I'm not sure, but somewhere in the vicinity of a week unless we can
find a lift, which I doubt. And two, because you didn't ask."

"You
could've at least told me how long we'd be."

"We
I'm not exactly sure how long it'll take us. Could be less than a
week, could be more," she told him.

One
sudden mood change later, Rikki yelled, "Beat you to that boulder!"
and took off running. "Ri-ik!" Gabe shouted back as he sped to
catch up with her. Sometimes she acted completely childish; there
were at least five
boulders. He watched as she slammed into the nearest one and
screamed.

"GABE!"

Uh-oh,
he thought, recognizing the tone of her voice. When he reached Rikki
a few seconds later, he saw what had alarmed her. Lying next to the
boulder were the rotting, stinking remains of a Kh'ostro. Both
Gabriel and Rikki took a step further back.

"Gabriel,
this isn't good."

That
much was obvious, but she was the one with the information on this
mission.

"Gabe,
this really
isn't good."

"Well,
if you'd care to let me in on the company secrets…" This remark
earned him a less-than-pleasant look from Rikki.

"Look,
we've got plenty of trouble from the Kh'ostros, right? So,
they've got bigger problems than us right now, which means –"

"Oh
no…" Gabriel said. "So, what's this mean for us exactly"

"We've
got to keep going." Rikki started walking again, this time towards
the trees a ways off from where they had previously been traveling.

"But
I don't even know what we're doing yet!"

"Smuggling,"
she told him, so casually that he wasn't sure if she was being
truthful or not. Nevertheless, he wasn't able to get any more
information out of her for some time longer.

It
took them six days to reach the capital, and twenty minutes to get
lost in it. Sure that he recognized the problem, Gabe tried to pry
the map from Rikki, who was looking for landmarks as well as holding
it away from her companion.

"C'mon
Rikki," Gabe pestered, "Lemme see the map!"

"Hmm…"
she groaned, searching the map with determination. "I'm looking
for that blacksmith on the map."

Gabe
followed Rikki's finger to the shop across the street and ruffled
his hair in frustration. "That's no landmark!" he shouted. "We
passed it three times already!"

"That's
when we were walking in circles!"

"Need
help, you two?"

Rikki
and Gabe turned to the voice. A large, well dressed man loomed over
them. Rikki shot him an angry look.

"No
thanks," she said, "We're f—"

Gabe
cut her off. Taking the map, he held it in front of the man. "Can
you tell us how to get to Siever Mansion? We can't find it."

The
man smiled and adjusted his monocle. "Well, your problem is simple.
You see, you have the right city in mind," he snatched the map,
"but not in hand."

The
two looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You
have the map of the wrong city but you're in the right one. My name
is Thomas. Thomas Siever. We can talk more at my estate."

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