Do This First Before You Begin To Communicate

A Must Read To Improve Your Communication Skills

Would you like to be a more effective communicator? Would you like your intimate partner to listen to you more? How about having better results at a networking meeting? There is one thing you can do which will make all the difference in the world in what you bring out of the other person. Before I spell it out, let me say that neurobiologists talk about right brain to right brain communication. Mothers and infants communicate that way but so do us, adults. The right brain picks up and processes emotional information holistically. This information is unspoken and yet “felt” at the visceral level. Falling in love, purchasing a product, hiring a service professional and deciding to make a friendship are all decisions made at the emotional, unconscious level. Words may matter but people’s’ vibes matter much more.

So if that is the case, then before you utter a word, you need to use your imagination. Perceive the absolute best in the other person. If you are an intimate partner, perceive your partner as an ally, a person who really does love you and wants to support you. Do that whether history dictates otherwise or not. Experiment and see what happens! If you are at a networking meeting, imagine the other person as friendly and someone who will want to do business with you. If you are in a social environment, imagine the person to be a warm person who will like you. Another way of saying it is that the more open you are, the safer you feel and the more you demonstrate that you like that other person, the more open and safer the other person will feel. This often results in better listening, more interest in each other and mutual warm and likeable feelings.

So, positive imagination first and speaking second. Creating this safe and open atmosphere by your imagination and nonverbal communication paves the way for deeper, more meaningful and more flowing conversations. Like I said before, experiment in these different situations and please let me know how it works out and if you are aware of any changes in how others communicate back to you.