‘SNL’ gives us the daddy pageant we’ve been dying for

You know daddies—the silver-haired, forty-something, slightly distant men who buy you a drink at a fancy bar just because they can. Think Barack Obama, or “George Clooney, but achievable,” as the host of Saturday Night Live’s “Westminster Daddy Show” explains.

“Our judges will be looking for men over 46, with a little salt and pepper at the temples, some play money to throw around, and a smug, knowing smile that says, ‘I do sex good,’” explained Damon’s host.

“Any guy can be a father, but it takes a hot, middle-aged guy with a big job to be a daddy.”

Bryant’s judge had little to do but check the teeth (veneers—”at least my ex can’t take these”—in the case of Bennett’s divorced West Palm Golf Daddy) and wallets (in the case of Chris Redd’s Wall Street Business Daddy).

Moffatt’s Berkeley Tweedy Daddy (winner in the “Teach Me, Daddy” category) was the highlight of the sketch, getting disqualified from the pageant for refusing to submit to judgment, telling his handler (Keenan Thompson), “Maybe if you presented the argument better, I’d respect it.”

After Tweedy Daddy’s disqualification for “being an obstructionist a-hole,” Damon’s Announcer Daddy gets called in; his gleeful prancing and full head of salt-and-pepper locks win him the crown.

Also notable on this week’s episode was the presence of Pete Davidson after his troubling Instagram post on Saturday afternoon. He appeared as Rami Malek in a pre-taped sketch about replacement Oscar hosts and introduced musical guests Miley Cyrus and Mark Ronson.

After posting on Instagram that he didn’t “want to be on this earth anymore,” fans and celebrities spoke out in support of Davidson and his public discussion of his mental health issues.

Saturday’s episode was the last of the 2018 season; it will be back next year.

Ellen Ioanes is the FOIA reporter at the Daily Dot, where she covers U.S. politics. She is a graduate of Columbia Journalism School, and her work has appeared in the Guardian, the Center for Public Integrity, HuffPost India, and more.