I’m a knitter, spinner, and fearless warrior in the coming Zombie Apocalypse. What can I say? I multi-task...

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Can't Fool The Sheep

Frankly, I'm a little rushed in the mornings. I have to be out the door these days around six o'clock so I don't really have time for reflection. Or anything else besides finding my shoes and making sure that the TV is set to Cartoon Network so that the Big, Fluffy Kitty doesn't miss her favorite toons during the day.

But, once I'm in the truck and headed for points south (and my job) I can think about stuff. Or figure stuff out. This morning's revelation came to me courtesy of my morning radio station of choice and their decision to broadcast the entire morning show as if it was 1998. I caught on rather quickly since one of the DJ's tripped up when he reported the time and temperature in the area where their newer offices are located and then had to regroup. But, otherwise, it was a pretty good rendition of life ten years ago. They even had the former chief of police as a guest and he did an update on some sort of mini-crime wave that hit the area back in the good ol' days.

So, now I knew it was April Fool's Day. Although I enjoyed the morning's discussion of politics and TV shows from days gone by, I found myself a little apprehensive. There is really nothing worse than having to be a teacher on April Fool's Day. Anything can happen. Bad things can happen. But it is far more likely that annoying things will happen. Or they won't. That's the worst of it. You just don't know.

I remember back when I was serving my time doing lunch duty with the kindergartners in my old school. Every hand was raised and eagerly waving for my attention. And every third hand was attached to some little prankster who wanted to tell me that my shoes were untied or that a monster was standing right behind me. It was cute the first few times, I'll admit. But it got a little bit old after a while and I still had to maintain that air of high hilarity that the average five year old expects from his witticisms. Nor could I ignore the raised hands as the other kids were just trying to tell me that they couldn't get their pudding cups open. I was exhausted by the time the lunch period ended.

Other years, usually when I'm with the older kids, the day passes uneventfully. I could only hope that today would go so smoothly. The anticipation was worse than anything they could do to me. I knew that. But, I couldn't shake the feeling of doom.

And yet, it really didn't go badly at all. The only prank played was mine own and that wasn't my fault. My Other Cheerful Teaching Assistant, who is new and doesn't yet fully appreciate the lengths to which some kids will go for a chuckle, mentioned that it was April Fools Day in the presence of a child. He brightened in a way that chilled me to the core. Thinking quickly, I "reminded" him that the day is now acknowledged on the first, but actually celebrated on the following Saturday. I assured him that his mom and dad would be quite thrilled to know that he remembered this recent congressional act and that they would welcome any sort of hi-jinks he'd like to perform while in their care.

That was just self-preservation. I'm sticking with that.

Of course, he'd figured out the lack of truth behind this statement by recess time. But, by then he was distracted by the thought of time prancing through the melting snowbanks and forgot all about torturing his hapless teacher. Crisis averted for another year.

And now I am home. Unless the Big, Fluffy Kitty has some sort of devious plan for short-sheeting my bed, I should be in the clear. You never know with her, though. She is a sly one and has often lulled me into a false sense of security. We'll just have to make sure that she gets her fill of Greenies tonight. A happy cat is a safe cat, that's what I always say.

The only other potential trickster is the Invisibility Shawl. I have praised it lavishly and commented favorably on its lacy loveliness. I think I have convinced it that I am a worthy knitter and not one who deserves some sort of nasty trick before the curtain closes on this day of victimization. And with the lifeline securely in place, I think I may be OK.

Famous last words, I know. But, I'm living on the wild side tonight. Time will tell if the April Fool is me...

No one has caught me - yet. But the teens are perpetrating a joke on each other, while Dad is orchestrating the whole thing, so both end up pranked at the end. Needless to say, I'll be glancing over my shoulder for the rest of the evening.

I was in on a joke at work today for a friend. It was pretty funny to see the guy squirm thinking about the amount of work he had to do because of a corrupted file.

On the other hand, my very own 5 year old proceeded to tell us that we either had bugs in our hair or that our heads were on fire. Followed less than a heartbeat later by "April Fools" in a singsong voice.

I am not a fan of April fool's Day. I guess I don't see the humor behind it. I don't like to be embarassed and don't like to make anyone else feel embarassed either. Just an old stick in the mud, I guess.

Good quick thinking telling that kid April Fool's day was now observed on Saturday. If he later complains, you can always say it was your April Fool's trick on him.

I always bring my pet tarantula to work on Apr 1. It's a hand puppet with a stuffed glove on the back so at first glance it looks as though you're just petting the thing rather than making its feet wiggle. But nobody was around to notice this year.

About Me

I am a forty-something fiber-freak living in the wilds of Maine. My goals in life include: ridding my home of knitting UFOs, inventing an intraveneous coffee drip and growing old to become the crazy cat lady on my street. You know the one: 10-45 cats, nobody ever really gets a good look at her, just that fleeting glimpse as she screams at the neighborhood children to get off her lawn and about whom local legends abound.