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Thursday, December 31, 2009

On the Topic of Dressing for New Years Eve

New Years Eve is kind of like prom for grown-ups.

In the same way that it has somehow become acceptable to dress like a bumble bee/hooker on Halloween, it has become equally a part of our culture that on New Years Eve, we put on fancy dresses with sparkles, go out to drink our weight in Korbel, and snog some rando.

(I, for one, kind of loathe NYE. I mean, it's an amateur night like St. Patrick's day or Cinco de Mayo. I consider myself to be a professional level boozer)

However, I am a sucker for an occasion to wear a party dress.

So...if you are sitting at your desk in a totally silent office building contemplating getting a new outfit, here are five tips for finding something worthy of a night like tonight:

First, don't spend a crazy amount of money. Seriously. It's one night. It's not your wedding, or even your real prom. I highly recommend the stylings of H&M or Forever 21 for this kind of endeavor for this very reason. Do not go to Neimans, do not stop at Intermix, do not spend $200. Seriously.

Second, throw caution to the wind. (The icy icy wind) NYE is one of those nights when you can get away with being overdressed, like on your birthday. You can totally pretend that you have some other fancy party awaiting you later in the night while you toss back Kamikaze shots in your spangled strapless minidress and elbow length gloves at Stetson's.

Third, maybe wear white. I know. White. It's usually a disaster. And if you are the kind of girl who drinks cosmos or cape codders or midori sours or whatnot, ignore this one. But! Consider putting down your sugarbomb in an up glass and think about it. You can NEVER wear a white fun party dress. You can't get away with it while attending a wedding (if you are balking at this one, I swear I'm going to come kick you in the shins) and few other occasions call for a fancy dress. So, if you are like me and bought an adorable white and silver dress for after my wedding and then never got to wear it again...bust it out tonight. Just remember that vodka tonics look clear, but they glow under a black light. I'm just saying. It's science.

Fourth, consider the sparkles. By this, I mean, go for glitter over shine. There is a lot of ill-advised satin in the store windows at this time of year. Believe me, I know. I walk through Georgetown every day. I know the retailers of America are trying to lure you with the siren song of a shiny satin tube dress, but resist! When you see those pictures where a flash has combined evil forces with the satin to add about 8 lbs to your frame, you will regret it.

Five, don't buy anything. I mean it. Go to your drawer and pull out a basic black top to pair with jeans, or a little black cocktail dress. Now, pull out a ton of jewelry, preferably necklaces or bracelets. I mean really pile it on. Mix metals. Pair pearls with chains. Presto. Outfit.

Ok, so! Go forth! Celebrate! Happy New Year! Just make sure there is no lipstick on your teeth.