Angela talks with “Sister-in-law”

It’ll help to read “Sister-in-law’s” question before you read this conversation. You can read the Deseret News article: here.

***

Angela: The great dilemma! “What to do when you think you’re sister is being a bad wife?” You seem to be in an awkward situation, Tell us about it!

Sister-in-law: It’s more than awkward. It’s really sad to watch and I think I’m going to say something to him regardless of most of the advice that I’ve been given to the contrary.

A: What advice have you already been given?

SIL: I’ve been told to stay out of it. But, her husband is a member of our family now, too. In a sense, he is my brother, am I not my brother’s keeper?

A: I can see where you’re coming from, I can. What has your sister done that you think is so terrible?

SIL: You name it, she’s done it! Fake crying to get his attention, asking him to rub her feet in front of the entire family, spending his money, criticizing his mothers cooking, refusing to do laundry…shall I keep going?

A: Maybe, I haven’t heard anything that sounds so bad yet…

SIL: The combination of all of them makes it “so bad.” This isn’t the way to treat a husband. You should cherish him and love him; and she caught a great guy who deserves to be treated much better than this. I get that she is young but today’s bossing around will be tomorrow’s serious emotional abuse.

A: Well, I’m glad I got to talk to you a bit before the article comes out on Saturday. What do you think some of the Deseret News readers will say?

SIL: I think they’ll agree with me. It’s a woman’s privilege to care for her husband and my sister isn’t treating it as such. It’s time for me, as a loved one, to take some action!

****

I’m anxious to find out what you all think, I don’t think what she’s talking about warrants talking to the husband behind her sister’s back. But, maybe I’m wrong. Also, at the end of the convo, I wanted to ask SIL if she was married, but thought that might be rude.

Hope you enjoyed the conversation!

Also, if you have a story you’d like to tell, we’d love to interview you! Send us an email to askangela.dn@gmail.com and don’t forget to like our Facebook page!

Post navigation

2 thoughts on “Angela talks with “Sister-in-law””

Verbal and emotional abuse can be very detrimental to a marriage. Your sister’s husband needs to set barriers now to that type of abuse, or it will continue. The marriage is in failure mode. If at all possible you may want to encourage both of them to seek counseling.

I don’t think any of those things warrants being abusive, or speaking to the brother-in-law. If anything, it’s talk to the sister. What is wrong with asking to have your feet rubbed? They are feet. If my sister asked her husband to rub her feet in front of the family, so what. I’d see it as a loving gesture of my BIL for my sister. Spending “his” money. In marriage there is no “his” or “her” money. It just causes conflict, regardless of who makes it. It’s better to think of it as a budget. The criticizing the MIL’s cooking, she might be a horrible cook. Simply suggest to your sister that that might HURT the husband’s feelings. The laundry refusal, you can ask your sister why she refused to do the laundry, but that’s really something between the two. He might be the one that usually does the laundry, or maybe the sister is so worn out and feeling unappreciated that it’s a symptom to something else. If anything, expressing concern to the sister that it appears she doesn’t love, value, and respect her husband might be the better answer.

If the wife was calling her husband names, speaking ill of HIM any chance she got, then maybe. And then maybe only to ask “What is her problem? Is she always this way? Are things okay?” type question. If there was anything, the BIL might then speak up