Went to my parent's house, and got talking with my dad about weight loss. He's one of those guys who has a physical job and a fast metabolism, and never struggles with his weight.

Anyway, he says to me "All you have to do to lose weight is not eat all the food that you cook." Also told me that when he's trying to lose weight, he would just eat a sandwich for a lunch and a sandwich for supper, and that's it.

Didn't want to go into the complexities of weight issues with him, as he simply doesn't understand. But I wish that people like this could be me for a day, and understand all the emotional issues that come with food. And also understand that 2 sandwiches will not fuel your body for a day - It'll go into starvation mode!

Sat. Jul 28, 1:24pm

Don't forget the emotional issues that come with your own parent being the one to give you unwelcome/invalid advice. If it were an aquaintance or complete stranger, it probably wouldn't be as annoying.
When I had terrible skin in college, I caught my dad looking at me intently with a smile on his face. When I smiled back, he said "You know, if you kept your face clean, it would clear up." He had no idea what I went through, how much I scrubbed at my face every day (the worst thing to do for problem skin, of course) and how hurtful his comment was.
I don't know if you can just smile and say, "Thanks, Dad, you're very helpful," and ignore it from there. But you're right... Just keep doing the very best you can do for yourself!

Saturday, July 28, 2007, 1:46 PM

I find it best to not "diet" in front of them. Just eat lightly (as if you're not very hungry) and by all means do NOT mention that you are on a diet - somehow that opens you up to all kinds of unasked for comments.

Saturday, July 28, 2007, 2:04 PM

Yes, that can definetly be annoying. I mean, who knows more about nutrition and exercise than an overwieight person who has tried and tried to lose the weight. Speaking from experience, it's not the knowledge, but the implementation that some of us lack. I try to take these comments as a bit of caring advice, and not the intentions to be rude. Do YOUR thing, stay motivated, and you WILL have success.

Saturday, July 28, 2007, 5:16 PM

Isn't it amazing when always and forever thin people think that all you have to do is push back from the table sooner! Talk about an oversimplification. I just wish they could see how inappropriate they are and that they don't have a clue. But, since they are thin, they must know everything there is to know about nutrition and eating. Just ask them.

Sunday, July 29, 2007, 10:36 PM

In defense of thin people

You know, some of us who are thin now, have lost weight. I personally dropped 40lbs (and have a healthy BMI of 22) , and because I know how much it changed my life, I want to share it with others who want to make a difference in theirs.
So when we bring up diet and exercise don't put us down as if we are unaware of what it felt like to be overweight, we are very aware, we just applied ourselves or "implemented" as 5:16 said. You don't want to be critiqued for being overweight, we don't want to personified as "clueless" to your predicament, and sometimes 10:36 it is as simple as puching back from the table sooner

Monday, July 30, 2007, 9:13 AM

Why do you hate it when skinny people tell you how to lose weight??
Look, they are probably skinny for a reason - their eating and excercise patterns give them that body. You think they can eat the same as you and remain skinny? No, it works the same for everybody.
When they give you suggestions, the worst and self-defeating thing you can do is get bitter at them like you are doing now. Why not, for once, just open your ears and take their advice. Push yourself away from the table. Eat only one sandwich for lunch. Find someone who has the body you want and copy what they eat. You can't go wrong!
And FYI - 2 sandwiches won't put you in starvation mode. As long as each has 600 calories, you will be fine. And its very easy to get 600 calories into a sandwich.

What I hate is when people who weigh more than me see how I eat (I eat very healthy and small portions) and tell me, "You don't need to watch what you eat, you are skinny". That really pisses me off.
First of all, I'm not skinny. I'm average and healthy. Maybe I am skinny copared to them, but they are in fat FAT.
And how the hell do they I got this way? By eating like they do?? Surely NOT.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 10:00 AM

Well said 10;00

Monday, July 30, 2007, 10:26 AM

in response to 9:13 I think what the OP is trying to say is when people that have never STRUGGLED with weight try to give you advice. I have friends that are skinny and have ALWAYS been skinny. Never had to watch what they ate or exercise. I always hated eating around them. I usually went home hungry because I didn't want to look like a "pig".

I see what you mean though. If a "thin" person that has lost weight and knows what to do wants to give me advice. I am all for it! Just not someone that has no idea what I have gone through :)

Monday, July 30, 2007, 10:31 AM

10:31 has it right

This is the OP - and 10:31 got the point, it's not that I have trouble taking advice about losing weight, it's people who never struggle with it and oversimplify it. My husband has a fast metabolism, has a very active job, loves vegetables and doesn't really like sweet stuff. He simply cannot understand most of the eating issues I have, and will admit it. It's taken him 4 years just to understand what I go through when I'm losing weight.

To people who have lost weight successfully, good for you, I'd love to hear your suggestions.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 12:51 PM

"it works the same for everybody"

No it doesn't. I have friends who can polish off a huge greasy cheeseburger and cheese fries and then happily go shopping for their size 4 jeans. Everyone's body/metabolism is different and I agree that it's very annoying when someone who has always been skinny without working at it tries to give me advice. They have no idea.

I also agree that it's annoying when you've busted your ass to lose weight and someone says "You don't need to watch what you eat!"

Maybe as a society we can just all make a deal to stop commenting on other people's weight/food choices. Unless you've been specifically asked, no one wants your opinion!!

Monday, July 30, 2007, 1:42 PM

1:08

What makes you think if they are skinny they have struggled? Some skinny people ARE skinny by nature. Like my sister for example. Grew up skinny and stayed that way. She can eat whatever she wants. I got the genes from my mother's side unfortunately, buts he didn't.

I am happy that you are a skinny person and can stay that way. I am working to be skinnier myself

Monday, July 30, 2007, 2:03 PM

I agree with the OP. it is annoying when thin poeple who have never been fat/overweight give you advice like "just stop eating!" It is especially frustrating when the advice is ridiculous and completely against what you learn in fitness magazines or from your nutritionist. eating just two sandwiches is not acceptable. We MUST remember that it is important to eat for HEALTH as well as to maintain or lose weight. I think that is what those people don't realize. eating two sandwiches a day is not going to give you the fiber, calcium, etc. that your body needs.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 2:15 PM

I think the problem isn't who is giving or receiving advice, it's the emotional reactions to the advice.

Unsolicited advice is truly obnoxious and it gives off the impression of a know-it-all. However, I think some people give advice thinking they are trying to help. But it might be taken as criticism or as hurtful. My dad also tried to help me lose weight in his own way but it wasn't necessarily the best way.

I think we all just need to realize that the only person we can change is ourselves. Only you can choose to take care of your body in a healthy way. Or not. That choice is up to you. So don't blame your father or others for their untactful way of helping. Only you can control your own feelings, actions and reactions to these situations.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 2:19 PM

I think the problem is that we ALL tend to make assumptions. The fact is, you can't tell from looking at a thin person you don't know whether they have been thin their whole life or whether they have great tips they learned while losing their extra 50 pounds.

Likewise, you can't tell whether that person with bad skin is trying to do something about it or not! Maybe your oatmeal masque recipe is just what they need. But maybe they are already spending hundreds of dollars a month on painful topical treatments. (In my case it was the latter, when my Dad decided that I really needed his opinion that no one would take me seriously if I had adult acne --insert eye roll here.)

So we all should be careful about giving unsolicited advice -- maybe share with someone, first, how hard it was to lose those 50 pounds and let them ask you for tips on their own.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007, 1:04 PM

EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT! What works for one skinny person might not work for another skinny or fat person. You have decide what works for you and then stay true to that plan. I think comparison is the worst thing in the world. I always compare the way I eat and the way I look to other people. I forget that I am an unique individual who has the power to chose how to live my life.
Sorry to sound preachy, but I'm on a caffine kick right now!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007, 3:59 PM

You're right, every body is different. My best friend is skinny, really skinny. She eats constantly, trying to gain weight and it never works. She is 5'5" tall and weighs 115. She is so scrawny she looks unhealthy. But she eats huge meals, lots of snacks and really tries hard to get lots of calories into every morsel she puts in her mouth. But she has a super metabolism and burns it all off. The poor thing struggles to gain weight every bit as hard as I do to get the weight off.

And my personal opinion on giving advice is to not do it unless you are specifically asked for your advice. Unless you see someone you care about doing something dangerous...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007, 11:58 PM

I think the OP is talking about skinny people she already KNOWS. She mentioned her father who I'm sure she would know if he's ever had a wieght problem. If the comments come from co-workers or friends, I'm sure she would know if they've had a weight problem also. Besides, most people giving advice would probably mention that they've been there done that.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 5:15 AM

Saying that you know all about long-term weight loss because you once lost 15, 20, or even 40 lbs. is like saying that you know what it's like to be homeless because you once went camping.

I used to be just a few pounds overweight. I could cut back for a week or two, up my exercise, no problem, the weight would disappear. My partner at the time was one of these guys who could eat an entire pizza at a single sitting, and did at least once a week. He ate constantly, and we're not talking about fruits and vegetables. He was skinny as a rail.

At the same time, both of my sisters were what can be described as morbidly obese. They would go months on liquid diets, and tried diet after diet after diet, successfully, and maybe they'd lose 10 lbs, or even 20, but at some point, all of the deprivation would take its toll and they would have to quit. Not because they were not doing enough, but because they were doing too much.

The bottom line is that yes, everyone is different, and what works for some people doesn't work for everyone. If you have lost weight and someone asks you to share your secret with them, by all means share the joy. But weight loss is like religion--if you're foisting it on someone who hasn't asked, and they don't want to hear it, you're not suffering for your faith, you're being obnoxious.

Sure, if I have a close friend who is excited that she's finally gotten to the point where she ENJOYS exercise instead of dreading it, I'm happy to hear about it. I'm happy to hear her. But if I sit down to eat and you tell me, unsolicited, all about how I should just eat something else or should push myself from the table, it shouldn't come as a shock to you when I turn and tell you to shut the *&%$ up.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 6:16 AM

amen!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 10:16 AM

Like when childless people give child rearing advice -

Unless you live the situation, it's hard to give advice. Now a skinny person who was fat might have some good advice, but - for example, I'm pear shaped - and a person with bigger belly/skinny legs can tell me to do ballet style workouts all she wants, and my legs aint never gonna look like hers.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 10:21 AM

Onto the flip side - there is cruelty towards those that have lost weight.

I worked my a** off to lose 35 lbs, diet and exercise, and I am very proud of what I have accomplished. So now I happily wear my size 6 clothes, and wear my t-shirts snug, and show my legs with shorts so then why are overweight people nasty to me? Jealousy is not an excuse to be rude.
Case in point:
I am going into a store while two women are coming out (VERY overweight, with one pushing a baby carriage). I hold the door open so that they can come through, and when they have walked past, just when they are on the borderline of being out of earshot, I hear:

"F****ing skinny bitch, I wish they would just get out of my face"

So much for my courtesy of holding the door open for a woman pushing the baby carriage.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 10:26 AM

well, obviously you aren't the problem in that situation. the woman has her own set of issues that have nothing to do with you personally. so don't take that personally. you never know if she even was referring to you. maybe it was others inside the store that aggravated her? if no one made assumptions, we would all victimize ourselves a lot less and get along with others more often.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 10:33 AM

You know what's curious to me? "if we're all different" (as so many have said; and by the way, I totally agree!), then why when we go to the doctors' asking for weigh loss help the standard answer is given: "eat less, exercise more" ? I've asked this to many different doctors and they all say the same thing. Is this the answer you all get?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 2:44 PM

Well Yes ... 2:44

Because that really is the only healthy way to address your weight issue, and if you are asking the doctor, or your doctor is telling you, in order to have a healthy life, you need to diet and exercise, well then that is your answer. The only thing that the doctor could do differently is maybe suggest a nutritionist to help you on your weight loss path.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 3:08 PM

the time honored and proven track record of "eat less, exercise more" really speaks for itself. it may be that, although we are different, we are hearing the same advice, much in the way that we all need oxygen and water to survive. some things are just universal.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 3:15 PM

So do we all need to diet the same or don't we???

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 5:41 PM

I don't know - in theory less calories should equal losing weight, but for some people fat just flows off and for some it sticks like super glue. Your metabolism and body type must affect your ability to lose weight. So then how do you know what diet is best for your body? Does anyone know for sure?

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 6:05 PM

Some Standards Across The Board

Like 6:05 said caloric intake has a huge impact, as does eating a balanced diet. If this is unfamiliar to you then buy a book on dieting, or join a WW or Jenny Craig, or speak to a nutritionist, or if you can't afford any of the above then do your research on the computer.
There are no excuses for lack of knowledge. Pick a diet that is condusive with your lifestyle and stick with it

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 6:20 PM

2:44- I'm putting on my flame suit...

Personally, I don't think the eat less workout more advise is sufficient for everyone. I have a wheat intolerance- no matter how little or how much I work out or exercise, I cannot lose any considerable amount of weight it I eat wheat- even in tiny doses. I finished 3 months of boot camp and only lost 5 lbs- but I have 20 to lose.

If you think different diets may be great for different people, look into eat right for your type by Peter Dadamo. It's a naturopathic, more individualized approach rarely appreciated here, but I've found it invaluable. Not the be all and end all, but an immense help.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007, 7:38 PM

i have a wheat intolerance, too. so i avoid wheat. and i eat less calories than i use in a day. and i lose weight. there's nothing very scientific about it, it makes perfect 'common" sense. different dietary requirements can be accomodated within the "eat less, exercise" routine. and if this indeed becomes routine, most will lose weight. of course there are exceptions. the problem is that people who have to srtruggle sometime fall into thinking that they must be one of the exceptions to the rule and keep making excuses for themselves.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 9:00 AM

All of there "individualized approach" posts are unfortunately bullcrap. Stop wallowing in your misery and allegedly undiagnosed food intolerances, allergies, and whatever else you want to claim as an excuse.

Have you ever seen the poor children in Ethiopia, who are wasted to skin and bones because they don't eat enough? They are among the unhealthiest in the world, yet even they can't claim a thyroid or wheat problem. Have you seen one that is overweight no matter how little he eats? Nope, didn't think so.

When I used to live outside the States, in my country people never ate as much as here. We also didn't have access to healthy foods like we do here, such as fruit all -year-round, veggies, and other things. All we had was basically potatoes, black bread, processed meats and herring, and pickled vegetables. Tell me that's healthy. Yet, nobody had any problems with weight because THEY DID NOT EAT A LOT.

Here, we have unlimited resources of healthy food all year round. We have brown and black rice, fruit from all exotic parts of the world, vegetables, and yet not everyone things that they are soooo sickly that they can't lose weight.

To the posters who want to know what diet is best for you - stop following diets. There is no diet that is best for anyone. Any diet you eat will deprive you of something. It doesn't matter what - it's just a deprivation of something. The point is that id doesnt matter what you deprive yourself of, you just have to deprove yourself. Just eat less. Eat food and eat less. And excercise. That's it.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 9:55 AM

FYI: not all of us who suffer from food tolerances, diagnosed or just noticed, wallow in our own misery. some of us recognize the issue and address it, fitting in the necessary adjustments to our eating plans as necessary. i don't think it's very fair to categorize the bunch of us as lazy or uneducated or whatever. some people without intolerances also wallow and make excuses. just wanted to put that out there.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 10:04 AM

9:55 a.m. poster: Yeah, tell that to the "starvation mode" people. I just read a thread where a gal who is almost 200 lbs was told that eating 650 calories a day isn't enough for her. Puh leeeeeeze! A 200 lb body is NOT in danger of "starvation", she could live off the fat of the land for a long time....and so could most of us who are overweight. I just don't buy into that whole "starvation mode" theory and the starving Ethiopians would seem to prove that point.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 10:08 AM

9:55 The term "diet" simply means food management

To be on a diet doesn't mean you buy into the latest trend, whether you drop carbs, or up the protein or go raw.
FYI you can be on a diet by managing your calories, and still have a balanced meal plan.
As for what you have available in the US vs your old country, sounds like you strapped on your own feedbag when you moved to the US, and took advantage of all the food you previously could not eat. As for the starving in Ethiopia, how about starving in North America?

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 10:16 AM

true, that 200lb girl is not in danger of starving but 650 cals a day is still extremely dangerous because it's very difficult to get the necessary nutrients our body requires off of just 650 cals worth of food. things like lack of potassium can cause your muscles to cramp and you to faint -- no matter what your size. so i agree with the thread -- 650 calories is NOT enough to be healthy.

yes, techinically eating less calories and excercising more should help you lose weight but doing it in unhealthy ways by JUST restricting calories is, simply put, stupid and dangerous. Wise up and read a nutrition book sometime.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 10:19 AM

Funny, most of Hollywood makes a career out of eating 650 calories or less...seems to work for them. And you hear of very few being "unhealthy".

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:02 PM

And by the way, few of them are well known for their "stupid -ness" - quite the contrary.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:04 PM

A lot of those celebrities that live off of 650 cals look very sickly. you bump into them and they will break. nichole ritchie before you filled back out and then angelina jolie. sad

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:12 PM

Are you kidding me 3:02?? First, I wasn't aware that "most of Hollywood" publishes their calorie intake. Second, you OFTEN hear of the ones that are sickly thin being unhealthy. I suppose if you're striving solely for the "Hollywood look" and care about nothing else, then sure 650 cals can work for you too. 650 calories is extremley dangerous for someone to live off on. You do realize that your body requries a certain amount of calories a day to simply function?

I hope most, if not all, of you are aware of what's nutritionally sound for your bodies. Killing yourself through lack of necessarily nutrients is just as bad as killing yourself through obesity. I absolutely cannot stand people who try to say "oh just eat 500 cals." Don't give advice that could potentially harm someone's health if you've never bothered to research/consult a doctor or nutritionist as to what is healthy. You put them at serious risk.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:28 PM

i meant necessary

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:29 PM

10:16
What exactly do you mean, I strapped on the saddle bag of food?

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 3:36 PM

3:28 You're oversimplifying. Plenty of people live just fine and well on less than 1200 calories a day (which is how many the other post said was "too little" and they are not "at risk" for anything (except slimness). My point was that outside of Nicole Ritchie and Angelina Jolie there are hundreds of other people in Hollywood who survive just fine on what the other posters had said was "too little" and they are viewed as "healthy". The gal who got slammed in the other post was eathing about 1200 cals a day and dropped to 650 over the weekend (2 days!) and people were saying she wasn't eating enough. Who hasn't had a day or two where they dropped their calorie intake for whatever reason for a day or two? The poor gal was wondering why she wasn't losing weight and everyone is always so quick to say "you aren't eating enough". That's just bunk, plenty of people eat very few calories and survive just fine and are perfectly healthy, that's all I'm saying.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 6:22 PM

I would personally like to lose weight in a way that I can sustain for life. I don't think it's realistic to eat 650 calories a day for the rest of your life, so why would you do it at all? If I can't lose weight through a sensible 1200-1500 calorie a day food plan something's wrong.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 6:46 PM

to the 9:00.

You missed my point. Eat less work more doesn't work when an intolerance isn't avoided. And some people dont know they have an intolerance. So until they learn about that intolerance, eat less work more, doesn't work. "different dietary requirements can be accomodated within the "eat less, exercise" routine"- well duh. The point was that unless you learn about those "dietary requirements" that eat less exercise bit won't work.

And I for one, don't wallow in my wheat intolerance. I'm actually wheat and corn intolerant, which means what I can eat that is commercially made is incredibly limited (Corn derivatives: glucose, fructose, corn starch, carageenan, xanthum gum, malitol, sorbitol, dextrose, maltodextrin, corn syrup, corn oil, vegetable oil, plant protein etc. etc.). But, I shop at 7 different stores to buy requisite groceries, I spend a lot of time in my kitchen, have food stored in my car in case I get delayed so I never find myself in a drive thru, and generally never eat at a friend's house. And it wasn't until I did so I was able to lose 30lbs and keep it off for 2 years and counting...

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 7:30 PM

calorie in calorie out, is essentially the base for weight loss at it's core.

HOWEVER- that calorie out isn't always the same.

A calorie is a unit of measurement. A calorie is burnt by x amnt of energy. But, when it comes to food, that is only one source of fuel that the body can burn. It can burn the pre-existing fat, it can burn your muscle, it can burn the food you ate. The big problem is that everyone assumes their body is burning calories properly. There are thousands of chemical reactions that take place inside your body- if something is out of whack, then it can affect how efficiently your body burns calories. Joe may burn 300 calories in his half hour run, while Mike, same height, same weight, same body comp, same age, doing the same workout, might only burn 200 because of something out of balance in his system. So while calorie in calorie out is the basics of weightloss, it's hard to do it if your system isn't working properly.

And to the person who thinks that starvation mode doesn't exist - it's not that your body is starving as in dying. But, the human body is designed to consume food every 4-6 hours. So, if your body doesn't eat for 24 hours, it's going to be thinking- um, when am I getting fuel?? Repeatedly doing this trains your body to hold onto fuel, because it thinks it's going to need that fuel during the next 24 hours. The body doesn't think "Oh, I'll be fine, I still have oodles of fat to live off of," it just thinks in terms of "when's my next replenishment." This is basic biology, the result of the body not fully evolving yet from days of famine.

Thursday, August 02, 2007, 7:42 PM

oh, quit your crying!! i have wheat and corn intolerances, have difficulties absorbing iron, and can't properly digest dairy. so you can't buy the crap most supermarkets sell. you should be happy that your body naturally rejects fake foods and unnecessary additives. i hear you using your dietary needs as part of your personality. like the only alternative to a drive-thru is food you store in your car? where do you live, the desert? get over yourself and your "problems". everyone has limitations or intolerances with respect to their diets.

Friday, August 03, 2007, 9:43 AM

"Joe may burn 300 calories in his half hour run, while Mike, same height, same weight, same body comp, same age, doing the same workout, might only burn 200 because of something out of balance in his system. "

I know this is off-topic, but it's more likely that Mike has something IN balance in his system. It is adaptive to put on weight and keep it on. Throughout all of human evolution and existence, until the last 100 years in the developed world and continuing on today in other parts of the world, STARVATION has been the number-one killer. the ability to NOT burn too many calories has been strongly selected for.

Friday, August 03, 2007, 9:54 AM

9:43 - Relax.

Friday, August 03, 2007, 11:05 AM

Oh my GOD! you are soo right
They stare at you weird when you go out. It looks like they want to chop your head off when you are eating an apple because you should be wolfing down a donut. They keep pressuring you to eat more because "you are skinny". They don't want to believe that you've got "the fat gene" too but think you are just saying that.Whenever you tell them stories about someone who was anorexic ,they stare at you funny and actually have the nerve to tell you in your face "and you don't have it?" I personally think these people are jealous.They think the only way to be thin is either to be born with a fast metabolism or being an anorexic/bulimic.They don't get that being thin comes from eating healthy and not stuffing your face with cheesecake or slices of pizza or bags of chips at random times of the day.

Now that I have lost over 60 pounds I find it amusing when people ask me how I did it. Sometiimes I want to say well dumb **** I took a pill and it all fell off. I'm sorry but they don't have the time of day to find out how I truly lost the weight, there is so much to it. So I basically just tell them eat right and exercise, what else am I suppose to say?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 10:30 PM

They really don't want the blow by blow, pp, they're probably just A) impressed by your success and B) curious if you did anything 'special.' Your inclination to call them a dumba$$ is interesting, though. I'm guessing people ask b/c there are a thousand approaches claiming to be THE way to lose weight - even though they all boil down to the same two things - taking in less fuel than you need and moving more. How you finally got yourself to do those two things are a whole 'nother story indeed.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 10:40 PM

I hate it when this woman at work who is 5/3" and weighs 225 lbs tells me I am fat and have a big stomach - and I am 5'5" and 173 lbs. She always prefaces it by saying, I know i weighr 225 lbs, but you are fat and your stomach is so big!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 10:43 PM

10:43 - of COURSE you hate that. It's unbelievably rude! WTH? How do you respond?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 10:46 PM

She has a variety of rude and insulting remarks that she makes to me. I took it for years when she was in a supportive role because I knew none of my work would get done, otherwise.

When she got promoted and continued the insults, I stopped talking to her. (for like 3 years)

A few weeks ago I felt like maybe I had been too harsh. So I started talking to her again, and in a matter of a few short weeks - she's back.

We don't talk anymore and I think I have learned my lesson.

Others in the office have told me that she views herself different than what she really is, and that they do think she suffers from bi-polar disorder, but I looked it up and haven't seen rudeness as a symptom of that.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008, 11:36 PM

umm

10:43 context?
No one would just say that for the sake of saying it, you must be strutting around saying you're skinny and she is just putting it right?

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 7:52 AM

11:36 she obviously has some issues but staying away is probably the good thing to do. No one has any right to be that rude to another person. What I find astonishing is the fact that she got promoted, my guess is that she acts like that with everyone. What idiot promoted her? Good luck!

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 8:29 AM

Believe me, I know I am not skinny, and I don't tell anyone that I am skinny. I want to lose 40-50 lbs. Generally, we are talking about something else an she just blurts out a string of insults. I was skinny 50 lbs ago and I know I have a big stomach. I know she just wants to hurt me, I just don't know why. I guess it really is not important.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 8:43 AM

10:43 - She sounds like a jealous, insecure, unhappy person! You are doing the right thing by steering clear of her.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 10:03 AM

assumptions

what i hat is not so much the advice how to lose weight from skinny people but when they make assumptions that you gained it because you eat all the time. i for one gained my weight in middle school because i was eating so little my body went into starvation mode and slowed my metabolism to alsmost nothing. i weigh 260 lbs down from 315 my heaviest. i have gone for a complete health workup and am in perfect health other than my weight being high. i know thin people that cant beat that.lol

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 11:14 AM

i think it starts with being a kid. it's not the genes you're given to look a certain way but its the genes you're given to move a certain way. watching kids playing tennis the other day, the kids who are skinny know how to make use of their muscles and move the right way. the fatter kids aren't making the best use of the muscles, using less calories and beating up their metabolism. as the kids grow up who know how to move correctly, they know the feeling of being fit and getting a good workout in. the fatter kids don't know the feeling and ultimately grow up moving like they always did with some hard work here and there. as we grow people's mentailty of making their body move a certain way is a crucial part of how we look, what we need to eat, and how much of it we need to consume. for me for example, when i was a kid, i was born into a family of big butts. all of my power came from my butt as a kid and i had very little upper body strength. that felt fit to me. now as a i get older, my body has lost that feeling and i don't have the butt muscle anymore(=big fatty butt). so when i work out i try to recall that feeling, and it just doesn't work. the result ends up being an even bigger butt. so i know right now, that i need to work extra hard to even intiate that feeling again, but am i willing to right now? ha, hell no. so i just try and stay healthy with a lower diet because i know that what i used to do required a total body calorie intake and now i don't need all those calories anymore

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 12:51 PM

maybe you should accept some of their advice! my friend is constantly asking me how I got so skinny. I've lost 25 pounds and am happy at my weight, which is 'skinny' but she never takes my advice! Theres a reason skinny people are skinny.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 4:02 PM

4:02, I agree when people ask how you lost so much weight they really don't want to listen to find out. But when I was heavier I was the same way, I just wished someone could snap their fingers and I would be thin. But as we know that will never happen. You have to be at the right point in your life to actually work to lose the weight. Good luck to the op on your quest for a thinner you, but remember their are others out there who have gone through the heavier stage in life and may be able to help you. Don't lump all skinny people into the way your father is where he is naturally skinny and has never struggled with the weight issue.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 7:23 PM

I have the same problem at home. My dh always tells me to eat less bread. I make whatever bread my family eats. I make maybe one loaf a few times a month, usually pizza dough or french bread. I make tortillas a couple of times a month. We eat mostly whole grains, not bread, per se. He is naturally slim and eats high fat, high sugar, everything. If I ate like him I would be an elephant. So, I just blow it off and do what I need to do for myself. He doesn't understand and nothing I can say will make him. Its either you learn it for your self or not.

Thursday, March 27, 2008, 8:32 PM

Oh, yeah, I hate that. My bf is always like "lets go to burger king, fast food...etc" even after time and time again I tell him if I go there I will turn into a whale! Part of me wants to just eat there all the time and let him watch me gain 50 lbs, and then let him ask me to go get fast food! haha. But he is so skinny he couldn't gain a pound to save his life1

Friday, March 28, 2008, 9:39 AM

No Offense, but dont you want advice from skinny people...considering they are skinny??

Friday, March 28, 2008, 12:45 PM

AMEN

Friday, March 28, 2008, 3:56 PM

in defence of newbie thin ppl

we receive all sorts of comments from parents. i used to be 180lbs..one year later, and some dieting, i am now 130lbs. But all i receive now is comments that im too thin, i have to eat [some big meal] too thin..too thin! and it really hurts and makes me uncomfortable to eat in front of my family/friends. im maintaining this nice weight i got down to and i hate being treated like i have an eating disorder. why dont we ever comment skinny ppl who have been thin all their lives and bother people who did the work and got down to a healthy weight for themselves?
i wish i knew how to deal with it..

Tuesday, March 10, 2009, 10:15 PM

a naturally thin person telling an overweight person how to lose weight is like a normal, healthy person telling an alcoholic how to stop drinking. now stop arguing! lol