We often tell people that bloggers aren't the crazy, braying, entirely unprincipled people the old-media graybeards like to say we are. Sure, we process information faster, and we're more willing to publish things we're not sure are true so long as we say we're not sure they're true, we always say, but really we work symbiotically with old media, and we're still good people.

Today, though, we realized that we're wrong. Bloggers, in fact, are scum.

Why this sudden change of heart? We just came into possession of an email exchange between our old compadre Mario Lavandeira, the proprietor of PerezHilton.com, and Jose Martinez, a publicist at Harrison & Shriftman, which handles PR for Playboy's parties, like the one they just threw at the Super Bowl. And to which our pal Perez, who's been in Detroit covering celebs at the game, was apparently not invited.

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Here's how it started:

From: Jose Martinez, Harrison & Shriftman

To: Perez Hilton

Date: 2/6/06

Someone just sent this to me..... was this comment in response to you not being invited to our party?

"The Maxim party overflowed with celebs and VIPs who decided not to go to the Playboy party, which was very far away, at the airport."

Thank goodness, only non-insiders read your unreliable page. You need to really be more responsible if you desire longevity in this business. I understand being snarky, but lies only make you look stupid in the end. I trust you'll see our media coverage in the coming days and see who and what our party really was like.

From: Perez Hilton

To: Jose Martinez

Date: Mon, 6 Feb 2006 14:52:29 -0500

...You may choose not to invite me and invite a blogger who gets 1/3 of the traffic I do, and I can choose to write whatever I play.

I never claim to be objective. In fact, I reslish in my perspective and point of view. That's why people visit my site, so much that I get more visitors in ONE day that visit me than read Star or OK in one week.

If and when Harrison Shriftman decides that I am "worthy" of being invited to your events, then I will begin to give them favorable coverage....

And then it just kept going. And got better (like when Perez started name-checking his promotional gigs). So much better (like when Perez decided to cc celeb-mag editors around town).

The whole thing is after the jump. Go read it. (We'll be in the shower, trying to wash off our bloggerness. And any association we've ever had flacky enablers.)

From: Jose Martinez, Harrison & Shriftman

To: Perez Hilton

Date: 2/6/06

Someone just sent this to me..... was this comment in response to you not being invited to our party?

"The Maxim party overflowed with celebs and VIPs who decided not to go to the Playboy party, which was very far away, at the airport."

Thank goodness, only non-insiders read your unreliable page. You need to really be more responsible if you desire longevity in this business. I understand being snarky, but lies only make you look stupid in the end. I trust you'll see our media coverage in the coming days and see who and what our party really was like.

From: Perez Hilton

To: Jose Martinez

Date: Mon, 6 Feb 2006 14:52:29 -0500

And I trust you will keep your ego in check and remove your dislike (or indifference) of me from the equation.

You may choose not to invite me and invite a blogger who gets 1/3 of the traffic I do, and I can choose to write whatever I play.

I never claim to be objective. In fact, I reslish in my perspective and point of view. That's why people visit my site, so much that I get more visitors in ONE day that visit me than read Star or OK in one week.

If and when Harrison Shriftman decides that I am "worthy" of being invited to your events, then I will begin to give them favorable coverage.

In the mean time I am free and will continue expressing my thoughts about Harrison Shriftman to all of my publicist friends, media friends and your current clients that I know.

If you and or Lara wish to speak with me to hopefully clear the air, I can be reached on my cell anytime at 718.813.XXXX.

Perez

From: Jose Martinez

To: Perez Hilton

Date: 2/6/2002

Im not going back and forth with you over this. It's just lame to lie
it's like get a life... And BTW -I don't respond to threats. You can say what you will about our agency, that is your right. Best of luck in your endeavors.

Jose Martinez

From: Perez Hilton

To: Jose Martinez

Date: Mon, 6 Feb 2006 15:00:14 -0500

Thanks cupcake!

Look for me on E! News tomorrow night talking about every party expect yours.

THANK you! THOSE were the words I was waiting to hear. Now I know where I stand with your agency.

Thank you for speaking on behalf of everyone there.

Perez

P.S. I hope you don't mind that I CCd a few of my friend that work at the celeb weeklies on this email.

From: Jose Martinez

To: Perez Hilton

Date: 2/6/2002

Hahahah.. This is funny now
those of you on this I work with "hi guys," Special shout outs to Laudadio and Birn... Also Im sure those on this CC list at Star and OK will see how you put your site above their pubs If not here is a reminder of what you wrote (this is also the part where you admit to lying"):

"I never claim to be objective. In fact, I reslish in my perspective and point of view. That's why people visit my site, so much that I get more visitors in ONE day that visit me than read Star or OK in one week."

.... Perez, you are truly more of a joke than I thought.. And not very careful....