The ongoing adventures of a father who is finally finding the answers by dedicating himself to his family.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

The Reluctant Head Coach

This
could be viewed as an unfortunate by-product (or not) of all the BS
that underlies the current hockey season (don't even get me started
on that one), but I've had to step in act as head coach, at least for
the beginning of the season. I look at it from a few different
perspectives.

Our
hockey program has gotten too big for it's own britches, and its ego
has taken blindly taken charge in the quest for hockey greatness. I
still don't quite get how things worked out as they did, and it's
hard to discuss it without letting my emotions get in the way. For
the record, several people have come up to me and wondered aloud how
things turned out this way, but it doesn't matter at this point. It
really boils down to the choices of DW and who am I to question his
thought process? I don't agree with it and think he screwed things
up, but he's in charge, so so be it. Victory at the cost of one's
soul, as the saying goes.

The
point is, with the teams now set, some of us have had to step up and
take the reigns, and that includes yours truly. In the past I've been
able to skate by with little in the way of leadership or input.
Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm a coach, but previous head
coaches have welcomed my assistance. I'm there anyway with N, so why
not help out? The thing about being an assistant is that you can
skate by (no pun intended) and basically be an observer, almost
invisible. When head coaches gave me a chance to be more of a
presence, I deferred, taking the easy way out. I felt somewhat like
an appendage, but I also felt like I filled some role, however minor
it was.

Well,
all that changed when this season began. N's team has a head coach
(AL) who knows his stuff and is young, talented, and very skilled.
Definitely someone who the kids look up to because of that, unlike
the dads who are old and dorky. The problem is, AL also runs the
arena, so he has to be there to take care of the ice. The beginning
of the season most if not all of our games have been away games, so
he can't be there. Someone had to step in, and guess who got sucked
into that trap? It became painfully clear to me the first game up in
Lyndon that there were only two assistant coaches (and no head coach)
there, me and NC. I could have just told NC to take charge and I
would once again ride in the back, but that would have been wrong for
a number of reasons. First off, NC wasn't prepared for this (though
neither was I). Second, he is new to the program, this is his kid's
first year, and it would have been wrong to throw him into the pit.
Finally, I don't want my son to think I'm just a big wimp who always
chickens out and lets everyone else take responsibility. These guys
needed someone to take charge and as reluctant as I was to do it,
somebody had to, right?

I
met NC in the parking lot and informed him that it was just him and
I, and he was more than willing to step up. We were woefully
unprepared for our first game, and part of that stemmed from me not
realizing I would have to take a lead role, or more to the point,
nobody realizing this. Normally the "head coach" takes care
of all this, and this becomes a problem when there is no head coach
present. We didn't have roster stickers (not a huge deal), a first
aid kid (not a huge deal), a dry erase board to map out plays (sort
of a big deal), or pucks to warm up with (a big deal). We had to wing
it, but the kids didn't really know what to expect because it's early
in the season. I felt bad because they were clearly ready to play,
and we as coaches were not. Bad planning and too many expectations
that someone else would have to take care of everything. Time for dad
to step up and be a man.

Before
the game, I got the players attention and ended up doing most of the
talking, keeping it simple for our first game. Oddly enough, despite
my lack of assertiveness, I've learned enough about hockey to know
what makes a winning team, not to mention good players. I've also
played sports my entire life so certain qualities carry over from
sport to sport. Coupled with yelling really loud, the guys listened
and took it to heart. They went out and played a great game, winning
7-4. It's weird when between periods they all skate over and look at
you expecting some sort of sage advice. You simply re-iterate what
separates the boys from the men.

It
was a little stressful, but we managed to pull it off. Afterward we
coaches vowed not to be so poorly prepared the next time, i.e., we
needed to get our shit together. We also didn't want to fall into the
trap of playing second fiddle to the other guys, but that impetus is
on us. On the drive home N said that as far as coaching goes I do a
better job than I give myself credit for. From my kids that's about
as good a compliment as I'll ever get, so I'll take it.

I
survived my first stint as N's head coach (I once had to do it for
A's team, as well), but I know it won't be the last, because the guys
need a leader, if only symbolically. I am looking forward to AL the
real head coach to take the helm, if for the simple fact that he
really knows hockey and can give them more constructive and helpful
feedback... as opposed to yelling "just shoot the damn puck,"
but for now I'll wear the head coaches jacket and hopefully lead
these guys to a positive hockey experience. That means that I'm going
to have to do a little growing as well. I think I'm ready... not that
I have much choice.

-->

Until
then, thanks for reading, and thanks to gregorys2006 for the pic.