Men and Women Just Friends: Scientific American Weighs In

These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within particular friendships (remember, each participant was only asked about the specific, platonic, friend with whom they entered the lab). This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic.

Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.

Scientific American suggest that the "just friends" problem results from men having attractions which are in reality unrequited, but these men imagine or perceive that they are. So what do you have to say about this study?

Edit: Just to be clear, I am merely presenting the new evidence for discussion since I find it to be more substantial than the "Why Girls and Guys..." video which is reposted every so often. This is not indicative of my personal views on the matter.

It's impossible to be with a person of opposite sex and not think about sex at least once. It could be that it represents something similar to kind of a forbidden fruit. Think about it. I'd really like to hear your reply.

@kosukechan there are people? It's very much low precentage if we are talking about people with straight sexual orirentation (or they could be both gay so is the same i guess). But come on you can't know for sure did they ever thought about having sex together. Only possible case could be if the female doesn't look good, but even then it can happen. No exeptions.

Two of my best friends are girls, and I'm not gay. They're certainly not unattractive, yet we remain friends. One of them is my childhood friend, the other I've known for a bit over 7 years. Saying that I didn't think about having sex with them not even once would be a blatant lie and I could bet they're the same. Thinking about something doesn't mean you want it to happen, and thoughts like that come and go naturally just like any other silly idea.

It's not like we're doing our best effort not to notice the fact that we're a guy and a girl. That said, I'm weird in many ways, so this might be one of them. If you can't have friendships like that, I have to say, you're missing out on a fun part of life.

@TokoyamiSensei I think that self-awareness is the important thing here. To deny the sexual tension exists is to risk falling prey to it, or to let it subconsciously influence your actions. So being wise to it is the first step to handling it "like an adult".

I guess this gives away my middle-ground position on the matter. It's very possible for guys and girls to be friends -- provided they both understand that some degree of attraction is probably present, too, and depending on the situation, probably inappropriate to act on.