Call for help with this emergency GSM cellie, with or without your SIM card. It’s barebones — no screen! — but it runs on a lithium AA battery that’ll last 15 years unused (it provides 10 hours of talk time when in use), survives conditions other phones can’t (–22°F to 140°F), and automatically text-replies your friends telling them to phone you instead. And it’s unlocked, so you can buy prepaid SIMs too.

An upgrade, the SpareOne Plus, debuted at CES 2013 but hasn’t hit stores is said to include a location-tracking service and a waterproof, floatable bag that you can talk through.