Olympic Officials Launch Inquiry About Non-Sanctioned Condoms

The Olympics have all kinds of corporate sponsors, and even the 150,000 condoms made available to athletes in anticipation of gold medal nookie were supplied by just one company: Durex, which presumably paid a hefty fee for the honors.

Australian BMX cyclist Caroline Buchanan was the first to notice the interlopers, tweeting a photo of the bucket and an accompanying sign with a drawing of a boxing kangaroo and the words “Kangaroo Condoms, for the Gland Downunder.”

Amusing as that is, those condoms are made by Australian company Ansell Ltd, a direct Durex rival, so a spokeswoman for the London Olympics said officials “will look into this and ask that they are not handed out to other athletes.”

Meanwhile, an Ansell spokeswoman said that while they knew nothing about wayward condoms and had “no association with the Olympics at all,” she suspected that maybe some wily Australian athletes put the bucket out as a prank.

The whole practice of the Olympics supplying competitors with love gloves goes back to the 1992 Barcelona Games, when the International Olympic Committee wisely realized that putting all those toned and taut people in one place meant there would likely be a whole lot of marathon hookups — and how right they were.

The organizers of the Sydney Games in 2000 originally ordered 70,000 condoms but apparently drastically underestimated how much energy competitors had, because the supplies quickly ran out and another 20,000 had to be carted in.

So this year, the London Games wanted to be sure they weren’t caught with their pants down (so to speak) — they have 150,000 on hand, or roughly 14 for each of the almost 11,000 athletes.

And the gold medal for schtupping goes to — everybody! No wonder there is so much butt-slapping going on.