Reader Addie says that she was at Babies “R” Us to pick up some stairway gates and try out a “glider”, but when she attempted to use the chair for its intended purpose, she was told that she was not allowed to breastfeed on the sales floor.

Here’s Addie’s letter:

I went to this Babies R Us Saturday to pick up some stairway gates and to try out gliders – my son needed to nurse, so I decided to multitask and nurse and try out a glider at the same time. Within a microsecond, an employee named Mike came over to me and told me that if I needed to “do that”, that I had to use the mother’s room in the store (mind you, I was COMPLETELY covered by a nursing cover). I told him that I did not want to nurse my baby in a room that smelled like baby poop. He stood there, shaking his head at me in disgust, and told me that it was store policy, and that if I needed to “do that”, it had to be in the mother’s room. He stared me down until I got up in left, and I have no question in my mind whatsoever that he would have called security if I hadn’t gotten up and left. I attempted to feed my baby in the parking lot (impossible since he is very wiggly and easily distracted at this stage), and ended up driving home with a hungry, sobbing baby.

Quoting California Civil Code 43.3: “Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, except the private home or residence of another, where the mother and child are authorized to be present.” A cramped and smelly room hardly counts as “any location”.

I will no longer support this company.

Nearly the same scenario happened at the Toys “R” Us in Times Square a few years ago, and it caused quite a large PR debacle for the company. The ACLU even got involved. At least officially, it’s Toys “R” Us’ policy that mothers can breastfeed their babies wherever they like, in accordance with the law. They do provide breastfeeding rooms at Babies “R” Us, but you are in no way obligated to use them. The employee who told you otherwise was incorrect. You should report his behavior to Toys “R” Us corporate because it is inappropriate and may even be illegal.

Here’s a portion of the letter that Toys “R” Us’ CEO sent to the ACLU after the Times Square incident:

Toys “R” Us agrees with the New York Civil Liberties Union that we should do everything we can to provide for the best interests of our customers — moms, kids and families. Toys “R” Us does maintain a company-wide policy that any mother may breastfeed her child in the place of her choice within our stores. Beyond that, all of our Babies “R” Us stores have dedicated rooms for breastfeeding mothers. These rooms are clean, comfortable, safe and private, and we have spent significant amounts of money to provide this option for our customers. Our Times Square store, in particular, has a private area designated for this purpose. We are proud to offer this accommodation to those mothers who are more comfortable breastfeeding their children in a private environment, and it is our experience that many mothers prefer this alternative. However, we are equally respectful of the preference of other mothers — which, in New York, is their legal right — to breastfeed their children in the place of their choice within our stores.

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Personally, I would use the room. I don’t see the point of breastfeeding in public when a private room is available.

It’s not that breastfeeding is ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong’. It’s just that it’s my breast and my bonding time with the baby, and it’s not something I’d like to share with other people who could gawk because of their own insecurities.

If the room is not up to snuff, I understand. But Addie writes, “I told him that I did not want to nurse my baby in a room that smelled like baby poop.” And does not mention that she had ever been in the room. Is she prejudiced against it? It makes me feel like she’s trying to make some kind of statement.

@masonreloaded: A bottle is an artificial breast. Therefore, you should be offended at seeing a mother feed her baby with a bottle, because in your mind, that’s JUST LIKE watching two people engage in a sexual act with an artificial penis.

The woman was in a BABIES R US. If you don’t like babies or seeing people care for babies, what the hell are you doing in a BABIES R US store?

The employee in the original post clearly had issues; he couldn’t even say ‘breastfeeding’ and had to refer to what the mother was doing as “doing that”. Apparently it’s only OK to see a tit if you’re in an overpriced bar and paying $20 for the privilege.

@KesCaesar: It’s actually extremely unhygienic to breast feed in a bathroom. I was discouraged against it by lactation consultants. I am VERY used to the smell of baby poop, but would still refuse to breast feed in a bathroom or “mothers room” that contained diaper changing facilities.

I breast feed in public, but, like this mother, I use a cover to avoid showing my boobs to the entire world. I can see why Babies’R’Us would be concerned about staining with milk or whatever – but the odds of that are EXTREMELY slim. I’d think there were more germs accumulated on the display models from poorly or not washed hands coming out of the “mothers room” or bathrooms.

@katylostherart: “so back to why put yourself on the already-germy-from-everyone-else display item?”

Do you think the chairs in the mommy room are special magic space chairs that do not accumulate germs? Parents change their babies in there – there’s a better chance of getting germs from fecal matter than breast milk.

@allthatsevil: probably more so than the display chair actually. i know whenever a kid used a high chair at a place i used to work we had to sanitize it immediately after the kid was gone. we only had to wipe down all the adult chairs whenever we took care of the tables or finished off the shift. there’s a certain acceptance of a mess happening in places made for changing/feeding where they get a lot more attention to them in regards to cleanliness (at least in good stores). the chances that the display items are regularly cleaned is pretty slim to nil. a weekly dusting, if that, is probably all that happens to that chair.

@katylostherart: Allow me to direct you to the post I made on the first page of this article.

Those rooms are not always cleaned or sanitized, even in the nicer stores. I know this from experience. They don’t even use chairs, they use little uncomfortable sofas, so you’re sitting there elbow-to-elbow with other women feeding and changing their babies. I don’t like the idea of sitting down to feed my baby while another woman plops hers down next to me to change its poopy diaper.

@allthatsevil: alright i understand that. that’s why i said at good stores. but it’s probably a guarantee that those rooms are cleaned more frequently and with more attention than display items. you can wander through any store and see a pretty thick layer of dust on shelves and items but the bathroom will still get sprayed at least once a day even if it gets trashed in between cleanings.

@savvy999: When my wife had our son, she was advised to breastfeed, and also advised to avoid contact with the LaLeche league; seems most of the ‘new parent coaches’ in our area veiw the locals as a sort of domestic terrorist group. That said, we’ve had occasion to use the mother’s room at a Babies R Us, and the room has always been clean, smelled ok, and was stoked with all sorts of individually wrapped things you might need if you found yourself in a baby emergency, all free.

Holy cow. That law seems absolutely ridiculous if it’s scope is as large as you’re describing. Is it really saying that you can’t even ask her to leave the store? Is she automatically assumed to have authorization to be there despite the fact it’s private property because it’s a store open to the public? I would think that it would mean that a woman is allowed to breastfeed wherever she wants but that she can always be asked to leave private property, right?

I fail to understand why it would even be an issue, especially when she was had a nursing cover on. But then I’ve *NEVER* understood how some people consider nursing to be offensive. For a store catering to babies and mothers, this is probably one of the worst forms of publicity it could ask for.

@Neecy: Some of us find it to be offensive when we are trying to eat and see a tit hanging out with a baby attached. That is indecent exposure and something that should be done in your home or another private place.

@trekwars2000: No, it is not indecent exposure. The law spells that out very clearly.
I find ugly faces offensive, but I just look the other way. Oh well!
If you don’t like it, too bad. You’re an adult. Suck it up.

@trekwars2000: Oh, okay. You can eat in public all you want, but a baby can’t? I see. Are you really that offended by a breast? A breast that is FEEDING a child? If you are, I think it is you with the issues, not the mother.

Some of us find it to be offensive when we are trying to eat and see a tit hanging out with a baby attached. That is indecent exposure and something that should be done in your home or another private place.

Your personal hangups and prejudices do not constitute natural law. The argument you make against breast feeding could easily, and with equal justification, be made for nearly any prejudice. Making women wear a burka. Making every man get circumcised. No blacks at the lunch counter. A better question to ask, is why does the sight of a female breast revolt you to such an extent that it ruins your appetite?

Also, as the OP noted, she has a nursing cover. So unless you’re using x-ray specs, she hasn’t exposed anything.

Doesn’t Babies R Us have the right to refuse service to ANYONE? I would argue that they can throw her out of their store for anything they want.

Yes and no. You can refuse service to anyone, except when that refusal originates in illegal discrimination and/or an activity that is protected by law. You can ban someone from the store for coming in every day, fondling the merchandise but never buying anything. You could ban someone who has extremely foul body odor (though if it stems from a medical condition, this may bite you in the ass). You can ban someone for shoplifting or being an ass. But you can’t ban someone for being black, female, Hindu or for doing something the law says they have a right to do in your store.

Then circulate a petition, get a bill on the ballot, and repeal the law. Or, if you can’t get a bill on the ballot that way where you live, talk to your congresscritter. But just because your personal prejudices make you revolted by a given act, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re right. It just means you’re prejudiced. You are perfectly welcome to go elsewhere or turn the other way if someone else’s legal rights offend you. They’re probably revolted by you becoming offended that they are daring to exercise their rights. And under the law, they have far more justification than you do.

@Difdi: well it’s like some people are sickened at the sight of blood. personally the sound of someone clearing their throat makes me gag although that’s completely natural. although i wouldn’t equate breastfeeding with indecent exposure.

@Neecy: But then I’ve *NEVER* understood how some people consider nursing to be offensive.
Our country is hugely schizophrenic; one the one hand our Puritan roots are showing (‘An ankle! Cover it!’), but on the other hand it’s cool to show people being decapitated on network television. Le sigh…

I’ve never understood why people are so adamant about breast feeding in a public place? If you’re discreet about it then fine, but most of these people want their boobs hanging out for all to see as if its no big deal. At the same time we say that a 0.0001ms flash of a boob on tv is a CRIME AGAINST CHILDREN!!

I’m not offended by any means by breastfeeding or the idea of breastfeeding. But I will admit that it makes me uncomfortable in public, like I’m not exactly sure where it’s OK to look or something. It seems like such a special private thing. I think it’s great that BRU has rooms for Mothers to go to. And I don’t like the way this woman was treated. But I guess my question is, why is breastfeeding in public something you would want to do?

It’s been my wife’s experience that the Mother and Baby room is the nicest and cleanest aspect of our local Babies R Us.

And while the employee probably wasn’t correct in telling her she could only use the mother’s room, using unpaid merchandise she probably shouldn’t be using the glider to nurse either. Babies spit up, and I certainly wouldn’t be interested in purchasing a chair with someone else’s milk, spit up, or drool potentially on it. Perhaps a compromise of using the many benches on the sales floor or some other non-merchandise would have been a good solution. I mean you wouldn’t let someone test drive a baby bottle, bib, highchair, changing table, etc.. as they may involve a transfer of bodily fluids. I would think this would fall under the same rationale.

Breastfeeding is a great and natural thing, but the risk to “damaging” their merchandise doesn’t make this sound THAT unreasonable a request and something that a conversation with a manager probably could have easily resolved.

@DigitalMariner: @Sockatume: I agree. Considering you can not ask the condition of the mother and weither or not she or her baby carry any diseases, surfaces which are exposed to any fluids would have to be dis-infected. While I am sure the nursing room is composed of such materials, what about this chair?

Here is a question. What if they had allowed her to nurse, and the baby spit up or got sick. If Babies-r-us had made her purchase said unit due to it not being able to be re-sold or left out on display, would we still be complaining about babies-r-us? I mean, they had followed the law. I know the law is the law, but does the law absolve someone of any damage they may cause exercising a right the law allows? I am not blaming the OP, and I am not a parent, let alone a woman, but isn’t it possible to mimic the process of feeding without actually feeding?

I’ve seen enough women breast feeding in public that I don’t really notice any more. My girlfriend has always found it a little disturbing, as she sees feeding more along the lines of private mother-child bonding time, not something to be done in public. Either way works for me.

That being said, the employee had no right to try to force the OP into a room to do it. It’s likely that the employee was just uncomfortable with the act and was trying to get it out of his sight. Lame.

I nursed both of my children for nearly 2 years each and this was 22 years ago before nursing areas were commonly provided, but I was never harrassed or bothered when nursing in public (covered). If there had been a room available back then I would certainly have used it.

Did she check out the nursing room and it smelled? Or did she just decided to sit down in a NEW glider and start nursing? I see nothing wrong with an employee letting her know they had a room set aside for moms, and telling her they’d prefer that she not nurse her baby while sitting on their merchandise. It’s easy to nurse while walking around the store (I did that all the time with a nursing cover draped over us), or she could have found a seat in a public area where benches or other public seating was available. I doubt he would have made a comment if she had not been nursing in a chair on the sales floor but if he had, then she’d have every right to be offended.

No matter what people’s opinions are about breastfeeding in public, the fact remains: the law is the law. California says you can’t throw a woman out for doing so in public. She was “justified” in feeding the baby wherever she wanted — and if you need a reason, trying out the nursing chair in action seems like a pretty valid one. It’s nuts that a place called “Babies R Us” would have a problem with, you know, babies.

Personally, I support breastfeeding moms all the way. People freaking out about something so ordinary and natural are the problem, not the moms and babies.

I’ve never had a baby (& thus, I’ve certainly never breastfed one). I have no idea what approach I’d take to public nursing if/when I ever had a kid.

but it’s not like this mom was nursing in the middle of a Brooks Brothers or something; presumably everyone in a Babies-R-Us is either a parent or knows someone with small children (& thus, is aware/reasonably comfortable with the notion that babies nurse). plus, she was sitting in a chair specifically designed for nursing! If I was considering buying an expensive piece of furniture specifically for nursing, I would certainly want to test its performance for that purpose — particularly in an environment where I was legally entitled to be nursing.

I understand that nursing makes some people uncomfortable, & that some women prefer not to nurse in public, & that this is a very hot-button issue. but the bottom line is that the mom in this story should not have been asked to stop nursing, both according to the laws of her state & the specific policies that Toys-R-Us corporate has outlined. I don’t see how criticizing her actions is an appropriate response.

@The Unicorn: So if I am considering buying an expensive piece of furniture to help “create” another little bundle of joy, would it be cool to test drive each mattress at the serta store for that purpose? There are always several public benches in the store not in mothers room that are not merchandise that would work just as well without putting their inventory at risk.

@DigitalMariner: no, because you’re not legally allowed to get busy within the confines of a store. unlike breastfeeding, which is permitted.

& I do take the point of people who suggest that a nursing baby could potentially befoul the display chair in which it was nursing, except the display chairs in most department stores are usually already pretty beat up, & not for sale — or are sold at a discount. certainly if the baby had been spitting up on the chair, an employee would be well within their rights to ask the mom to leave, & perhaps even pay for the damage. but that’s not what happened here.

@Sockatume: BB&B doesn’t sell beds, & you don’t need to lie on a comforter to determine its softness, texture, etc. but you do need to watch a TV before you buy it, or sit/lay on a couch, or — yes! — lay on a mattress at a mattress store. so I still think this mom’s complaint is totally unreasonable, & I’m still surprised that so many people seem to think otherwise.

@The Unicorn: Yeah, you get to lay down on the matress, not go to sleep. You get to sit or lay on the couch, but you don’t get to kick off yur shoes and stick your hand down your pants a la Al Bundy.

It’s inconsiderate. You want to try out the chair, try out the chair. That doesn’t mean you get t do whatever you want, even if it is legal, in the chair. It’s poor taste. I’ve never seen someone put a kid in onf of the display cribs and sit there watching how the kid reacts. Again, poor taste.

And another thing…what kind of person buys a “nursing chair” as people keep calling it? My wife uses a Lay-Z-Boy. If you are buying special chair to nurse, you have too much money. Again, not illegal, but in very poor taste.

@Daniels: Yeah, tending to a baby’s every need and whim 24/7 makes us completely selfish. Just because a room is provided doesn’t mean she is obligated to use it. I don’t always eat in my dining room; sometimes eating in the living room is more convenient. Why would you care if a mother fed her baby in your line of sight? Does it ruin your day? Would you even notice?

@Fujikopez: “I don’t always eat in my dining room; sometimes eating in the living room is more convenient.”

so along the lines of other things that can make a mess, do you change your baby’s diaper in food courts for convenience? do you leave your empty drink containers on book shelves after having purchased coffee in the cafe instead of finding a bin?

YOUR dining room and YOUR living room are YOUR property. this chair wasn’t hers. what if you wanted to just sit in it and try it out to find there’s some other baby’s barf on it? or maybe a bit of napkin used to wipe up dribble? is that ok?

@katylostherart: Again, what does poop and littering have to do with breastfeeding? For me, breastfeeding was never, ever messy. No mess. Nada. And BRU should just assume that merchandise + babies (regardless of feeding status) = potential mess.

@katylostherart: “so along the lines of other things that can make a mess, do you change your baby’s diaper in food courts for convenience? do you leave your empty drink containers on book shelves after having purchased coffee in the cafe instead of finding a bin”

I really, really hate when people compare feeding a baby to PISS and SHIT. It’s not the same and you know it.

@little stripes: it can be just as messy and those are both things i’ve seen people do. stale milk SMELLS HORRIBLY when not cleaned immediately. and it is technically a biohazard because it is a bodily fluid. it’s considered the same as blood and urine when it comes to clean up. it can carry disease, it definitely carries bacteria and it definitely stains.

@katylostherart: what about my pet example? is their shit not a bodily fluid that can transmit disease? Just because it is a bodily fluid doesn’t make it illegal. If I cut myself in the store and bleed on a display, I don’t get thrown in jail, or even get kicked out of the store. It’s not as if they would just leave the blood there to dry. It’s 2008, they do make disinfectants like lysol.

@snoop-blog: Yeah, this. People are not perfectly clean animals. Messes happen. Once, a kid barfed on the public bus when I was on my way to school. It happens! The bus driver cleaned it up, and we were on our way. In a pet store, if a dog pisses or shits on the floor, then it is cleaned up properly. Hell, her at work, we have ways to handle “hazardous material spills”. We also have plenty of lysol in stock in case someone cuts themselves and bleeds.

If the baby spat up on the chair, then I’m sure they could find some Lysol and clean it right now, so others don’t get sick.

Also, I hope y’all Lysol the crap out of the toys you buy, since you’re SO worried about germs. Because you do realize that germs are likely ALL OVER the stuff you buy at Babies/Toys R Us, right?

@snoop-blog: would you cut yourself in a store on purpose? getting injured is generally an accident. this was done on purpose.

@little stripes: someone else brought that up. if 30 other women had breastfed in that chair and not cleaned up any mess they made, you’d be sitting breast feeding your kid in their mess. like do you really want that? that’s why you tell kids not to put random stuff in your mouth. that’s why you put down a little liner when you change your kid on a public changing table. i’m not even a germophobe but it doesn’t mean i’m going to go around in public areas assuming everyone has the same standards of cleanliness i do. people don’t wash their hands after they pee, before they eat, after wiping a baby’s butt, after picking up dog poop, etc. it’s really disgusting all the stuff you find on door handles let alone places where people put naked mucus membranes.

@katylostherart: Do you plan on drinking the breastmilk before you clean it up? Women who are HIV+ are encouraged not to breastfeed, but the likelihood of getting HIV from casual contact with a breastmilk stain is slim to none.

@katylostherart: Actually, breastmilk does not generally carry high levels of disease and rarely in high enough levels to transmit disease through casual contact or even a finger prick. Most diseases that are transmitted by breastfeeding are actually carried by the blood that can be mixed in with breastmilk due to cracked nipples.

I have to agree that she shouldn’t have been breast-feeding on store merchandise, unless the floor model would NEVER be sold. I mean, you can breast-feed in a piano store, but if I owned it, I wouldn’t let you do it on the Steinway!

@SJActress: The comment code is why you can’t read it. Inappropriate comments get disemvoweled if it’s bad enough to get the person banned.

I’m not sure why she didn’t feed her son before she got there?
@Zulujines: I don’t have a baby but I hear they need to be feed more than once a day.

Whether the mom shouldn’t have used the display model to feed the baby may not even be the issue here; the employee said to leave the room entirely. They might not have cared had she simply left the chair.

@snoop-blog: i’ll of course let you know when i actually need or want your help. the absurd claims go both ways. it’s great that the argument that “the stuff is probably covered in germs anyway” is an argument FOR using that chair. how is that not crazy?

it’s covered in gunk i might as well use it. what brilliant logic that is.

@little stripes: she wasn’t asked to breastfeed in a bathroom, she was asked to breastfeed in a room they made for breastfeeding and baby care. if that freaks her out i’d hate to see her when it comes time to find daycare for her kid.

@Rectilinear Propagation: no i’m just in annoyed mode. you said the kids had to be fed more than once, that doesn’t there aren’t other ways to feed the kid breastmilk. like what do you just pull over and breast feed while driving? while standing in line at the grocery store? how bout while shoe shopping? i’ve seen people do it and all i can think was, it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left and pull that out instead of unbuttoning a shirt, undoing a nursing bra, getting out whatever you’re going to use to cover your boob if you’re going to and a whole bunch of other stuff.

@katylostherart: It’s basically a bathroom, because it’s also where mothers go in and change their diapers. I can’t fault her for feeling uncomfortable feeding her child where baby poop is.

Question: Would YOU eat in there? Or in a bathroom?

@katylostherart: ” it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left “

Your ignorance is showing. It’s not always easier to fill up a bottle. Do you realize how difficult it is for many women to pump their breasts? And now TIME consuming it is, even for those who have an easier time at it? And how EXPENSIVE (we’re talking $300+) for a proper pump that actually produces enough milk?

See? Even a cheap one is $100. And that won’t really do any good. I was going to buy one of my sisters a breast pump, and my other sister told me I’d have to buy one that that was $200+ if it was going to be worth anything, and in the end we decided against it because, even if you have a great breast pump, it may still not work out well and could be a big waste of money.

@katylostherart: You’re friend is lucky. Hand pumps were WORTHLESS for my twin sister. They are time consuming (especially if you have twins, or more than one child that needs attention). Just because your friend had an easy time pumping does NOT mean all women do. Hell, not all women can easily breast feed the “normal” way.

@xay: do you want someone else’s anything staining and smelling furniture you are trying to sell? i could walk in there with a cup of coffee and i’m sure that spill would be just as appreciated as anything else.

@katylostherart: As a million other people have said, this piece of furniture is most likely not going to be sold, because it is a display item and most display items are either not sold or are discounted, because stores realize that DISPLAY items are there for people to touch, feel, and, you know, TRY OUT.

to me breast milk is food, stuff grows on food that spills. that’s really the only thing that mattered to me on this. she could spill food no something that’s not hers and that is for sale. little stripes kept saying display items aren’t for sale but really, a lot of them are. i don’t think you should eat on furniture at any store. period.

this extended argument is just a testament to how little i have to do today…

@katylostherart: I understand that and I agreed that it was inappropriate to breastfeed on the display unit. But that isn’t because breastmilk carries disease or grows bacteria. I just think there are limits to testing out furniture.

@little stripes: oh but if the mother isn’t going to make a mess and the breastmilk would just NEVER EVER touch that display chair, then there’s no cause to think that anyone else has made a mess in that feeding/changing room and that the breastmilk would EVER touch an unclean surface in there either.

@xay: i said i wondered if it was different for someone whose known to have aids. as in, i admittedly don’t know if the rules are different and am curious.

@katylostherart: Ok, just so you know I work in a state HIV/AIDS and Hepatitis bureau. There are universal precautions for blood and body fluids to reduce transmission of infectious disease – lots of diseases can be passed through blood and body fluids besides HIV/AIDS and it wastes time to try to figure out someone’s disease status. Breastmilk is a poor vector for disease – babies can be vulnerable because they have underdeveloped immune systems and may have open cut or sores in their mouths from teething. Unless you have an open sore and you lick the fresh breastmilk off the stain (because HIV doesn’t live very long in open air and there isn’t much of it in breastmilk), it is almost impossible to get the virus.

@katylostherart: “i’ve seen people do it and all i can think was, it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left and pull that out instead of unbuttoning a shirt, undoing a nursing bra, getting out whatever you’re going to use to cover your boob if you’re going to and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

Like someone else mentioned, a breast pump can be super expensive. The hand pumps are crap, and the electric ones can cost upwards of $200-300. Not everyone can afford that, and sometimes, even the mothers who can, prefer to have their baby at their breast because of the bonding. It may not seem like a good bonding environment standing in line at the grocery store, but the baby doesn’t care where it is. Mothers do it more for the baby’s sake than for themselves.

You may find this concept hard to fathom, but some women actually put their babies before themselves and every other selfish person who is offended by seeing a boob.

i’m actually the last person to ever possibly be offended by seeing a boob. like it’s probably impossible for me to be offended by a boob because i have to look at them for my job and have been for three yeras now. i’m just offended by people who think their messes (or reasonably possible messes) are something everyone else should deal with. i make it a point personally to just not make a mess when i’m dealing with places where other people have to be. i consider it selfish to assume that it’s your right to use other people’s property as you see fit.

No, no it’s not. Not all women are made the same. Breast pumps are great, and some women are lucky and can use hand pumps, but just because a women has issues pumping (or breastfeeding, for one; not all women find breastfeeding easy), does not mean they have issues.

Hell, and what if they don’t WANT to use a pump? That’s their choice, and it is NO ONE’s business but theirs.

I’m sorry, but if you’ve never breast-fed personally you really have no room making a comment like that. I don’t care what experience your friend had, no two women are the same. You think breastfeeding is the easiest thing in the world because that’s what breasts are for, right? That’s the way most women think until they actually have to do it.

Some women have an easier time feeding their baby straight from the nipple, while others have an easier time using a pump. Some women (very few that I’ve ever heard of) have no problem with the hand-pumps, but other women don’t lactate as well and would have to sit there for hours just to get a few ounces.

I personally had to use a double-electric pump or I would’ve been sitting there with a baby attached to my breast 24/7.

You really have no right judging women for how they choose to get their milk into their baby’s mouths, especially considering you’ve obviously never had to do it yourself.

@allthatsevil: so never ever mention alternatives because knowledge of them is evil. i’m sure it is more difficult for some women. i’m sure electric pumps are easier. hell i saw one woman do it with her hands over a bowl and that didn’t look easy. it’s not wrong of me to mention that maybe she could get a breast pump. and i’m not telling you it’s wrong of you to mention maybe she had issues or didn’t want to. but don’t jump up my butt because i made a reasonable suggestion. and getting a breast pump is a reasonable suggestion.

@katylostherart: I’m not “jumping up your butt” because you made a suggestion. I’m “jumping up your butt” because you’re passing judgement when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.

And no, I don’t think that “suggesting” a woman get a breast pump is reasonable. I’ve already stated my reasons why, as have several other people.

You’re not just making suggestions here anyway. You’re getting on your soap-box about a subject that you have very little personal knowledge of. And you’re refusing to listen to what numerous other people, who do have experience on the issue, are trying to explain to you.

@allthatsevil: no i’ve listened. you and little stripes are in the “do it anywhere you please” camp. fine, that’s your opinion.

suggesting a reasonable alternative to any action is ok. if you don’t like breast pumps fine, that’s why the word “no” was made. if you think that’s unreasonble, that’s fine. i’m actually quite sure loads of women who have chewers and biters like the fact someone told them there’s another way to do breastmilk for their babies. my lack of personal experience doesn’t have anything to do with the validity of someone else’s opinion when they do have that experience. you hate pumping, lots of women don’t. you couldn’t hand pump, lots of women can. you didn’t want to, lots of women do.

i have made suggestions. you don’t care. you’re ignoring what you don’t like as is your right. obviously other people have given me their personal wisdom on the subject otherwise i wouldn’t have mentioned that they have. so what makes your opinion better or more informed than theirs? nothing. they’re equally valid in regards to getting the milk out.

@katylostherart: You’re obviously not paying attention or you would have noticed that I am pro-breast-pump. I used a pump for numerous reasons, including that my son was a biter. If a woman wants to, can afford it, and is able to, then she should use a pump.

But you said, “why not” and I’m telling you why not. You insinuated that all women should use a pump rather than feed their babies with a breast where and when they want because you don’t understand why they wouldn’t.

What I’m trying to explain to you is that there are many reasons why women don’t or won’t use a pump. You asked, I answered, and you got offended.

@little stripes: you said context mattered, i was just pointing out that something not obviously sexual CAN be sexual. you really have a problem with admitting there are alternate possibilities in your land of absolutes.

“But you said, “why not” and I’m telling you why not. You insinuated that all women should use a pump rather than feed their babies with a breast where and when they want because you don’t understand why they wouldn’t.”

And then you got all defensive and said that hand pumping is SO easy because your cousins had SUCH an easy time. Please. You’re igorance and assholeness is showing.

@little stripes: again, i didn’t say “why not” i said “there’s another option” because it truly is another option. i did not insinuate all women should a pump, i said the COULD.

i’m not being ignorant, my experience with breastfeeding is obviously different than yours. i don’t know a single woman who has breastfed that has had problem with pumping. that doesn’t make me ignorant, that makes them apparently different from you. why should i assume it’s so troublesome when whenever i’ve encountered it there’s been no trouble at all? why should you assume that it’s a pain for everyone just because it was for you? you seem to really want to push that on me.

i’m also not being an asshole but thanks for resorting to swearing at me.

@katylostherart: And guess what? Context still matters when it comes to otherwise non-sexual things being fetished. I mean, it certainly wouldn’t be appropriate for some man to come up and start licking my feet at the beach, now would it? Because most people can control their sexual urges in public, when it is not appropriate.

If he (or she) was with their lactating partner, what they do behind closed doors is not my business. And of course, if they choose to watch lactating porn.

@katylostherart: I never said it didn’t matter. I don’t think she necessarily should have done it on the chair, but I also get why she refused to move — something tells me the guy came up and wasn’t being at all nice about it. Also the way he said “do that” instead of calling it what it is. I probably would’ve done exactly what she had done. Now, if he would have come up and said, “Would you mind moving to a different part of the store? This is a display item and it’s against store policy to eat on a display item, but I am sure I could help find you a comfortable spot to feed your baby” that would be different. Something tells me he was an ass about it, and she reacted to that.

@katylostherart: “no i’m just in annoyed mode. you said the kids had to be fed more than once, that doesn’t there aren’t other ways to feed the kid breastmilk. like what do you just pull over and breast feed while driving? while standing in line at the grocery store? how bout while shoe shopping? i’ve seen people do it and all i can think was, it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left and pull that out instead of unbuttoning a shirt, undoing a nursing bra, getting out whatever you’re going to use to cover your boob if you’re going to and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

This is what we’re responding to. You may not have put a question mark at the end, but that’s just because you used the wrong punctuation.

You’re saying that your first reaction to a breast-feeding woman is “why would you do that when there’s an easier way?” We’re trying to explain why and you’re refusing to listen.

@katylostherart: “why should you assume that it’s a pain for everyone just because it was for you? you seem to really want to push that on me.”

No. I never said that, and you know it. Wanna know what I think when I see a woman breastfeeding, in public or otherwise? That she is feeding her child the way she chooses to feed her child. Maybe she pumps, maybe she doesn’t. I don’t care, because it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Unlike you, I don’t think, “Oh, why isn’t she pumping instead?!” I assume however she chooses to feed her child is the best way for her to feed her child, because I assume all women can make their own choices on how to parent their own children.

@little stripes: if you didn’t assume it’s so terrible to pump why would you spend so much time telling me how bad it is? and not everyone should be given the benefit of the doubt on parenting. but no, i don’t shout that from the rooftops either.

@katylostherart: I was trying to get it through your thick skull that it’s not always an option. Also notice that I said several times that sometimes it is easy for women, but those women still decide not to pump. And that’s okay.

@little stripes: i get that it’s not always an option. i completely understand that. you’ve been trying to tell me left right up down and all over that i have no idea what i’m talking about when i obviously know that it is an option in at least several people’s lives and therefore it’s reasonable to expect that it could just maybe possibly apply to this woman as well. you can take offense at me even suggesting it, that’s your prerogative. but it’s ridiculous to assert i’m apparently an asshole because i made a suggestion that to other people would be perfectly reasonable.

@allthatsevil: it’s always the when and the where to me. communication between people is perfectly natural, that doesn’t mean you should drive on while on your cellphone. i’ve gone for walks i public places with babies being carried around on the boob right next to me while carrying on conversations. i think it’s the assumption that just because it’s natural that there isn’t a better place for it, like maybe not on the display furniture.

and again, thanks for resorting to swearing. totally makes you right as always.

@katylostherart: “no i’m just in annoyed mode. you said the kids had to be fed more than once, that doesn’t there aren’t other ways to feed the kid breastmilk. like what do you just pull over and breast feed while driving? while standing in line at the grocery store? how bout while shoe shopping? i’ve seen people do it and all i can think was, it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left and pull that out instead of unbuttoning a shirt, undoing a nursing bra, getting out whatever you’re going to use to cover your boob if you’re going to and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

That is exactly what you said. It’s condescending and pointless and an asshole thing to say. You essentially said, “HEY! I know everything and I know there is an easier way so why isn’t this woman doing it the easier way?!”

The baby might poop while feeding. Then what? EVERYBODY PANIC!!!!!!111111111!!!!!1

You BOTh are grasping for ground on a non issue. The issue is that, the mom was grossed out to smell another childs poopy diaper. Why not request to “mike” that the diaper bin needed to be changed in the mothers room? Why didn’t she just walk to her car and feed her starving child there? Why waste time arguing with an idiot who would never see her point? Her priorities are skewed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she left that child on the floor screaming while she typed her letter to consumerist.

@TenaciousC: Have you been in these rooms? I have no doubt some of them are nice and fresh, but the one by my house has a nasty sofa that looks like it was drug in from off the street, an old rickety glider, a dirty changing table, and it stinks worse than the mens room. I wouldn’t eat in that room and I wouldn’t let my child eat in that room. Would you eat in a room that smelled like crap?

@TenaciousC: 1. She may not feel comfortable feeding her child where a baby poops. If she was bothered by the POOPY SMELL, I’d say that is because she fears there is POOP AROUND, which is not sanitary. If a place smells like POOP there is POOP ARUND.

2. Really? You do realize how hot cars can get, don’t you?

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she left that child on the floor screaming while she typed her letter to consumerist. “

Awesome. So because she refused to be ashamed about feeding her child in public, she’s an unfit mother.

@TenaciousC: Um, how does it not make sense? If a room smells like poop, that means there is poop in the room, and particles of poop floating around. A poop smell doesn’t come from roses. IT COMES FROM POOP. Poop is unsanitary. Do you go and shit in a public bathroom that smells like shit? Something tells me you likely try to avoid those if you can. Because they smell gross and are therefore unsanitary. And yet you expect a baby to EAT in a room that smells like poop? Uh-huh.

@TenaciousC: And again, not everyone has a car, and not all cars have AC. Check your privilge at the door.

@TenaciousC: You’re only blindly making remarks if you’ve never actually been in one of those rooms.

They are indeed used for changing diapers, and some women are less sanitary when changing diapers than they are when taking a shit. And in case you’ve never seen a ladies’ room, they’re typically way more disgusting than mens’ rooms.

@katylostherart: I was calling it like I see it. Asking why a mother just doesn’t go the easy route and breast feed (which is EXACTLY WHAT YOU ASKED) is condescending. You’re also acting obtuse and stupid by not admitting that.

@katylostherart: “and again, thanks for resorting to swearing. totally makes you right as always.”

Words are words. You can choose to be offended by “swearing” just like you choose to be offended by women breast-feeding in public. There’s a time and place for everything, and I felt that it was the time and place to use the words I used. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.

@allthatsevil: and discounting someone because they haven’t done it yet, while really easy to do, probably isn’t right. i actually support breast feeding i wouldn’t do it on a display item. i’m sorry i haven’t gotten knocked up in time to throw in my personal experience with this. i’ll get right on that.

@katylostherart: Oh boy, I can see you haven’t been around many babies and have very little knowledge when it comes to feeding them. It may not be easier to fill up a bottle as pumping is very time-consuming. Babies may not take a bottle or a mother may not want to start bottle-feeding for a while (it’s called “nipple confusion”). Perhaps a bottle has been filled and brought, but the baby is going through a growth-spurt and is eating like mad, already finished the bottle and is still hungry. There are so many variables that the easiest option would be to just whip out the breast (discreetly, of course).

@carbonmade: i’ve been around loads of babies. i’m around babies and small children on a weekly basis and have cared for several. yes i realize that since they’re not mine it is a different perspective. that doesn’t actually make it less. it’s not like i don’t get first person anecdotes from several mothers. for other people to say that those opinions are less valid because they are filtered through me is irrational. i get that there are reasons why pumping might not work. but to assume that there MUST BE a reason that it might not work for the sheer fact that it was even mentioned is ridiculous. and that’s what two other people have done. the simple act of me saying there was another possibility was apparently sacrilege.

@katylostherart: “but to assume that there MUST BE a reason that it might not work for the sheer fact that it was even mentioned is ridiculous.”

THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID AND YOU KNOW IT. Stop being dense already. I said she probably didn’t pump because 1)Maybe she can’t 2)Maybe she doesn’t want to. And I went on to mention that in the end, it is no one else’s business how she chooses to feed her baby.

@katylostherart: whatever helps you sleep at night I guess. But in the real world, you should really try to be a member of society instead of being so me!me!me! which if you read your comments, they’ve been all about you and how this affects you. You could care less to put yourself in the shoes of a breast feeding parent.

No to put too fine a point on it, but it’s up to the store to decide whether it’s okay to breastfeed on their display chairs. I mean, Bed Bath and Beyond gets mighty pissy if I take a nap on their beds, even though that’s exactly what a bed is meant for, that it allows me to evaluate the bed’s comfort more thoroughly, and I’m not exactly doing something offensive. I’d probably ask a member of staff if it’s okay for me to lay on the bed for a minute and get a feel for it, but I wouldn’t outright go to sleep. There’s no need to.

Disclosure: My wife is due with our first in November. And I’ve given BRU a LOT of money recently.

1. Re: “on the merchandise” – I bought a floor model glider/ottoman combo. I then took the cloth material off and washed it – I kind of assumed it had been tried, and expected it. That’s why it was at discount, right?

2. HooterHiders.com – my wife just got hers from Target. They had good reviews, and she plans on using it. And a funny URL for me to post – I have nothing to do with the company.

3. I would’ve stuck around until they got security. Then made a bigger fuss. I’m sure my wife would too. Then made sure to let any associates in “Mommy & Me” or “Mom’s Club” or any other local mom’s clubs around – being sure to let the manager know that on the way out.

If it was nearly any other store, I would’ve said that maybe a little more discretion may have been in order – like I wouldn’t expect you to plop down in a La-Z-Boy in (insert your regional upscale furniture store) and do it, but a piece of furniture specifically designed for it, in a store that supposedly caters to somebody who would have just such a situation, is what makes this so wrong.

I personally don’t understand how nursing mothers are so comfortable exposing their breasts in public to nurse – it is an incredibly intimate bonding experience between mother and child. And while I realize that to a certain extent, they get to the point where they don’t feel quite as (for lack of a better term, pardon any offense) “modest” about it, there is a double-standard about breasts in public, in which the exposure of one – in any circumstance – causes a definite reaction.

The reality of the situation is that it is a state law that breastfeeding mothers can do so in public, in private at liberty. It’s a law, and complaining about it doesn’t change it. However, I think that the instant confrontational stance this particular mother took sends a message akin to, “I am going to breastfeed when I like, where I like, and you aren’t going to tell me otherwise.” I think that’s the point where I go from, “Oh well, it’s her right” to “Just who do you think you are?”.

@StyckyWycket: because it’s just a snack? “intimate bonding” or whatever, you’re basically just putting food in the kid’s tummy. my friend breast fed while walking around, she generally kept a shawl over her and the kid though.

@StyckyWycket: the kid won’t take “wait until we get home” for an answer. If the mother is going to breastfeed, she kinda has to feed the kid whereever it gets hungry just like I would have to feed my spawn from the bottle wherever it got hungry.

@Lo-Pan: By no means am I suggesting that a mother should be confined to the home when she’s breastfeeding. Nor am I suggesting that she forsake the needs of her child so that she can live as socially after pregnancy as she did before. But there has to be some sort of middle ground.

um. i’m gonna side with the store on this one. that’s like saying if a toilet’s on display it’s perfectly ok to pee in it on the floor because you’re trying it out. if she’d stood up and breast fed or sat on a chair that wouldn’t possibly be for sale that’s different. she should have checked out the room either way.

when it comes to possible spilling of bodily fluids on store merchandise i think this mother was in the wrong. if the baby spit up and it got on the chair, she’s just wrecked the chair for another customer. would she have bought it? it’s her right to breastfeed in public, it’s not her right to use display items as she sees fit when it involves bodily fluids.

I’m the mother of four children and I have breastfed them all (and am currently nursing my fourth – well, not right this moment cause it’s hard to type). Just from a practical standpoint, I would not use the floor model chairs to breasfeed because there’s always the possibility that my baby will spit up while nursing and get on the chair. I seriously doubt that a furniture store would let you “try out” a floor model couch while you eat cheetos and drink a slushie. I think if the store is providing an area specifically for breastfeeding then they should be able to redirect moms to that area.

I can ALMOST see both sides of the arguement. Honestly, I don’t think “anywhere” is acceptable. I don’t feel I should be forced to explain to my child why some woman whips her boob out. Some aren’t very conspicous about it, and don’t cover up at all. However, at a baby store that has a whole section related to breastfeeding, it shouldn’t be that huge of an issue. The boy should have simply suggested the use of the room, and talked to his manager if he had an issue with it.Middle of a mall or resturant…not a good place. I’ve almost gotten to a fight with an idiot teen, because he felt he could swear every other word matterless of where he was and who was nearby. Well..not in front of my kid. People need to respect others.

I am all for breast feeding in public, but i don’t think it was inappropriate for the store to ask her to move.

I wouldn’t go into a Pier 1, sit down at one of their dining room tables and pull out a bagged lunch. It’s perfectly acceptable for a store to ask me to keep my food away from the merchandise and I don’t see why that doesn’t apply here.

Wow, I can’t believe how many commenters are comparing breastfeeding to sex and defecation. They’re nothing dirty about breastfeeding. The only reason why people have hangups about it is because they’re conditioned to believe that breasts are sex objects and therefore dirty. Breastfeeding is their original purpose, and they’re is nothing naughty about that.

And personally, I never found it very “intimate”. I was bonding, yes, but mostly just feeding her.

Also, for all of you who are worried about the kid spitting up on the furniture: Babies spit up whenever, whereever, regardless of whether they’re currently eating, just ate, or ate an hour ago. My daughter very rarely spit up at all. Does this mean that BRU doesn’t allow children under a year near any of the merchandise? Nope.

@Fujikopez: there’s nothing dirty about breastfeeding? feeding a kid very often results in dribble and spit up. that’s pretty dirty. and half digested milk is pretty stinky when spilled on fabric. and sure kids spit up all the time no matter where they are. but does that mean it’s ok to make it a very probable possibility that your kids spit up is going to get on someone else’s propery when it’s avoidable? no.

@Fujikopez: you’re right. i’ll get to work on that mind reading so that when you use a less common definition of a world i’ll totally know what you’re talking about. why are you assuming everyone thinks it’s deviant just because they disagree with the wheres and whens of breastfeeding? me personally, i’d breastfeed in public, i wouldn’t breastfeed on display items in babies r us, macy’s target, ikea, la-z boy, etc. that’s just rude.

@SkokieGuy: it’s funny that you mention great works of art breast feeding. that’s actually pretty rare and they’re usually only the madonna. sperm is the other half of the source of life and that’s completely male. and many many MANY other countries do not let you breastfeed i public. america’s no where near the only one on that.

everything on display in toystores is not meant to be pre-drooled on. yes items get marked down for being display items cuz people are pretty careless, this doesn’t mean you should make it a point to risk an avoidable mess. i sure as hell know when i pick out toys for kids if it’s the last one around i don’t want boogers, drool, poop, breastmilk, pee or anything else that little kids (and some adults) leave as reminders that they or their parents have no respect for property that’s not theirs.

Okay, absolutely nothing wrong with nursing in public. The problem here is using a chair that someone else might purchase for breastfeeding. It’s a little weird IMO. Sit in the chair and test it that way. Hold your baby in the position you would use to nurse, but it’s quite rude to nurse your baby in merchandise that you have not purchased and that was not intended for you to use at your convenience.

@masonreloaded: God DAMN. So do you eat in private and only in private? You must, since it’s a natural thing and of course you don’t want to offend anyone by going to, say, Friday’s and eating a burger, right?

I’m not sure why she didn’t feed her son before she got there? It says in the post he is easily distracted and “wiggly”…I wouldn’t think it would be any easier in the middle of a store than it is in a parking lot.

Its one thing if she had her baby out and was pretending to breast feed without actually doing it. People do that with chairs all the time at most furniture stores. They pretend to get comfortable without actually getting comfortable. The line is drawn is when she actually decided to go forth and use the store display for its intended purpose. None of my friends who are mothers would even have the pretentiousness to use a display product as intended mostly due to the fact that they don’t own it and they would feel very uncomfortable in using something that a million people have tried.

The store employee should have just asked the mother to not use the store display for something other than a display. Its just like at a mattress store. They’re there for you to look at, feel, and even lay on for a bit, but certainly not there for you to get bodily fluids on. Plus, I’ve watched store employees put display items together. They don’t care and don’t take the time needed to really assemble the unit right sometimes.

With that said, the OP was within her reason to say,”No, I don’t want to use that room back there, I’d rather do it here and now.” Especially if its California law.

Using a nursing chair to nurse is not in the same league as a test drive of a toilet at Home Depot.
@SkokieGuy: Agreed. I also have no problems with a mother feeding a child weither it be breast or otherwise.

If I went to a place that samples of dip out and I went to double dip, would the employee be wrong in telling me to not do that? It’s allowed to eat, but there are limits. Someone once told me “your rights end where mine begin”. Am I wrong in expecting the display items to be clean?

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy–>: How is the display item not clean? Was the woman shitting herself naked? It would seem to me that it’s no different for her to sit there than me, unless she dripped so much it got on the chair, and anyone who’s ever seen a baby feed no that there’s a slim to none chance of that happening especially when everything is covered up.

What about all the toddlers goobering up the displays, I’d be more concerned about that.

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy–>: And display items do get dirty even with dust and germs, is it not the job of an employee to wipe down the stuff? I would think it was.

And if you’re buying a display I’ll go ahead and tell you (so you know what you’re getting yourself into) that it’s been taken out of the package, people have touched it, and there may even be scratches and dents on it.

It seems like a lot of people who have commented are confused about breastfeeding. Most (if not all) women don’t just whip out their breasts in the middle of a crowded room and let their kid go at it. They cover up their entire upper bodies, and usually the baby too, before they even move around any clothing. As long as they’re being discreet, why should women be forced to feed their child in the bathroom or out in the car?

Although in this instance, I don’t see why she didn’t use the room that was provided specifically for breastfeeding. Neither person in this story is 100% at fault though; the woman should’ve used the room, but the manager should’ve left her alone as long as she was covering herself.

I think Babies R Us can technically be considered right. Based on the letter, the employee never said she couldn’t breastfeed, he just said she couldn’t “do that,” which could mean “I’m not stopping you from breastfeeding, but if you’d like to sit in one of our chairs and do it, you’ll have to go in the Mommy Room.” Also, according to the letter, she was never kicked out of the store or even threatened to be kicked out. The employee just looked at her, and I’m guessing employees are allowed to look at customers. Maybe this would be a good defense against a Leche League protest: get a bunch of horny old guys together, call ’em “Hooter Hunters” and have them stare at the women while they breast-feed their babies.

Aside from that, if the law is what is quoted then the employee is incorrect. For shame.

Mom still comes off as entititled, and melodramatic.

I’m not OP bashing. Just pointing out that if there is some sort of cause you are trying to push forward it’s best to find a set of facts that is favorable. This set of facts is not favorable to mothers and children.

I’m surprised at all the comments about nursing moms “showing” their breasts. The baby covers the nipple, because that’s where the milk comes from. If you catch a glimpse of breast, well, it’s probably less than you’d see at the beach or a magazine ad. And one has to actively look to see even that much.

Okay, my computer has gone bonkers, seriously that’s like the 5th time that has happened to me today.

What I was going to say is:
If you are genuinely disturbed by a baby attached to a tit, you have serious psychological problems and I hope you get help. I realize that our culture sexualizes breasts, but they are simply not sexual objects. They’re baby feeders. Grow the hell up.

The other side – La Leche League is insane. Breastfeeding, while a perfectly natural, non-disgusting thing to do, is not always appropriate. This organization is like the PETA of breastfeeding. They have a good idea, but they take it way too far.

Babies’R’Us sucks anyway, I hope this lady never goes back. If you can’t breastfeed in a baby store, where the hell can you breastfeed?

“These rooms are clean, comfortable, safe and private, and we have spent significant amounts of money to provide this option for our customers.”

I call shenanigans.

The Babies R Us that I go to (which is a very nice store in a good part of town) has one of these nursing rooms and it’s absolutely disgusting. It’s filthy, smells like shit, and is far from comfortable. I don’t know how they define “significant” but it doesn’t look like much money was put into this particular nursing room. I have changed my baby in there (because there is no changing table in the bathroom), and will not even do that again. Maybe they’re not all like that, but I don’t blame her for wanting to avoid that room.

You know, it’s just us Americans that are so up-in-arms about our bodies. Just about anywhere else in the world a woman can whip out her tit and nurse her baby without even covering up, and no one would think twice about it.

She was respecting other peoples’ rights and preferences by covering up, so who cares if she wants to do it on the sales floor? Breasts are for feeding babies. Get over it.

I hope this mom will contact Toys R Us to complain about their staff’s lack of knowledge of store policy, as well as their lack of courtesy!!

To those that are asking why it’s such a big deal to just use the provided room…your question is irrelevant. The LAW is on this mom’s side – she had a LEGAL RIGHT to breastfeed in the glider chair (and hey, what better place to do so??). End of story.

I would like to know if those of you saying what’s the big deal, mom is “entitled, and melodramatic” etc have ever breastfed in public, out of necessity (cause babies get hungry!), and been asked to stop? It is humiliating. THAT is why the mom is upset, at the core. She shouldn’t have been “shown up” by that employee. And I think “do that” is probably in quotes to emphasize the tone of voice. The choice of those words gives a good idea of the employee’s personal stance on breastfeeding – I am willing to bet he thinks it’s gross. Otherwise, maybe he would have said “feed your baby” and maybe instead of insisting the mother relocate, he would have said “Oh, if you are more comfortable, there is a special room for feeding your baby”. Still she would have been within her right to stay, but I bet she wouldn’t have been nearly as pissed off at the employee!!!

“These rooms are clean, comfortable, safe and private, and we have spent significant amounts of money to provide this option for our customers. Our Times Square store, in particular, has a private area designated for this purpose.”

And I’d have to agree with them. First, it doesn’t take an entire feeding to know if something like that will work out – so she doesn’t have to “try it out” for very long. Also, she can mimic BF w/o really doing it to get the same result. Neither of us are for “anywhere anytime” b/c though it is a “natural” function it isn’t necessarily a “public” function.

I wouldnt want a mother to breast feed in public, I just dont think the middle of the store a place for breast feeding. If the room is cramped and smelly than she should request a better room from the managers or just not go there, If I was in Mike’s shoes I would have done it the same way.

People need to get over themselves when it comes to this. It’s just a boob, and a baby, which usually I can’t even see the boob. And it’s not for us to decide if it’s right or wrong because the law clearly states that it is legal to feed anywhere. If you don’t want to see it, don’t stare/watch. Problem solved.

No woman should have to feel ashamed to feed a baby. It’s a beautiful, natural thing, and just because you were bottled fed, doesn’t mean everyone has to. Nor should have to hide from the world to FEED A DAMN BABY! I bet those that want her to feed in a separate room feel a womans place is in the kitchen too.

I think the store reacted properly here, but for entirely the wrong reason. Breastfeeding is not what is at issue. Anyone who’s had or ever been around a baby knows how often feeding — breastfeeding or bottle feeding — is directly followed by spit up. Breastfeeding is in no way “gross”, but baby spit-up is, especially when it would land on a piece of merchandise the store is trying to sell.

Think of it this way: if I went into a furniture store and barfed on a chair on display, the store would have every right to make me pay to clean it up. At home, when the cat starts making that terrifying “I’m gonna ralph” sound, I sure as hell move him off the rugs.

Sitting in the chair to test it out is one thing, but putting it in the line of fire of projectile vomit is quite another.

@aduzik: Okay and I’m assuming you have no kids. If you did you would know that spit up ends more on the parents than anywhere else. And if a baby spits up on anything in the store, being a store that sells baby stuff, I’d be willing to bet that there would be no recourse at all.

@snoop-blog: And I wonder why people think the baby would only spit up if it was breastfeeding. ‘Cuz kids and babies don’t cause a mess any other time, right? I mean, sticky kid fingers aren’t all over the non-display items as it is, right? lol

@little stripes: why is it ok for you to allow your kids to make a mess? do you want some other kids mess on a toy you purchase for your children? do you want another baby’s gob of drool on a teething ring you give to your baby?

@katylostherart: I never said it was okay, but rather that kids to make messes — sometimes without you really realizing it (ie, sticky fingers). I just find it kind of hilarious that people seem to think that everything on display is clean … until a mother sits down to breastfeed!

@snoop-blog: Yeah, it does end up more on the parents than any other place, but not always, which is my point. If the kid did get the chair dirty and Babies ‘R Us sold it anyway, we’d be reading “This Nursing Chair Comes With Old Baby Vomit [Gross]” on Consumerist right now. So would you have a problem if that’s the reason the store gave?

@snoop-blog: I didn’t say it would be against the law. There’s a reason why most businesses don’t allow non-helper animals in. It’s because their “accidents” can damage the merchandise. It wouldn’t be anyone’s fault, but they want to limit their risk. I don’t think a “no barfing on the merch” policy is out of line or against the law.

I don’t see the offense in breastfeeding in public. But I do think the OP should not have used merchandise to do so. And I don’t think the “it’s a baby store!” excuse works either – I’ve seen a woman breastfeeding while sitting on patio furniture at Target.

As a woman, I see the appeal of breastfeeding, and the motherly love and all of that. I think it’s natural and people shouldn’t really be offended by it. However, I do feel that breastfeeding mothers get so angry about things, like they’re being treated unfairly. This I disagree with – just because you’re breastfeeding doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. BRU provided an entire ROOM for this function, stocked with FREE baby supplies – most stores, you’re lucky to get a corner of the bathroom. I feel like maybe instead of calling foul on BRU, breastfeeding moms should be grateful. And maybe you shouldn’t breastfeed on floor displays.

Here is where the sexual fetishizing of female breasts runs smack into no-nonsense ol’ Mother Nature. “Exposed breast” = “ooo, naughty, hot, arousing, R-rated” in our culture. (Women have bought right into this, too, not just men. We use those puppies to our advantage. I plead guilty, although maybe the statute of limitations has run out in my case. Heh.)

So here come today’s busy moms trying to use their breasts as nature intended them — to feed the baby — and everyone gets very nervous. Let’s acknowledge there is a cultural reason (right or wrong) beyond mere prurience or prudishness for the jitters when it comes to naked breasts in public, and get off the high horses, OK?

What to do about it? Be reasonable. It’s one thing to breastfeed in a quiet corner booth of a cafe; another to sit in a display rocking-chair in the middle of a fluorescent-lit store like some public art installation, drape or no drape.

@ElizabethD: Oh, I see, so breastfeeding mothers should be careful of the sensitive sensibilities of those who are offended by breastfeeding, then? LOL, no. If you’re offended by breastfeeding, you should leave, since you’re the one with the problem.

If I take my pet into the pet store and is shits right on the floor, I do what any normal person is supposed to do, which is clean it up. But as many times as that has happened to me, I’ve never been thrown out of the store for it.

I wish she had just used that baby room, especially when asked to by the employee. I know that when my wife had our kids, she was a leaking fountain of breast milk and I would hate to have to touch, smell, or clean that chair that this woman used. There really is a reason for the store not to want this to occur, they do want the chairs to look and smell nice so that others might buy them later. The rooms actually tend to be really nice to boot, I know that technically the woman could breast feed almost where ever she wishes, but really that baby room is a great compromise between her wishes and that of the store.

@snoop-blog: Obviously it’s not about the wishes of the store, but the oppression of society. that they are somehow doing something shameful (like masturbation) in public.

Yeah mom I think you’re getting a little too much pleasure from that baby there- GET REAL PEOPLE!

Snoop please do not put words in my mouth, I never said breast feeding is shameful just that if milk got on the chair it would smell and stain. (You do realize that most of these chairs are upholstered?) So some employee would have to clean it or if it went unnoticed by the store employees the chair would not be something that customers would like to buy. Also I said that for the lady to breast feed in the mother’s room was a very nice compromise (even though technically she probably was in the right) and that in the ones I have seen they were very nice and not smelly.

@snoop-blog: From her somewhat aggressive/defensive tone and sheer # of comments posted, I’m starting to think Snoop-Blog was the woman involved with the BRU incident…?

I don’t have any problem with breast-feeding in public, but I gotta say I think the woman pushed the limit of being inconsiderate by insisting on using the display chair which she had not purchased for an activity that could have potentially “damaged” it. Seriously, she couldn’t evaluate it by sitting in it for a few mins, examining the construction, etc.?

p.s. I learned something on Consumerist! I had no idea that’s what a glider chair was for. I know a woman w/o kids who has one in her house cuz the sliding action is relaxing. Makes sense though…

I don’t see a big deal if they’re being discreet about it. By why would you intentionally start a confrontation? As soon as someone mentions there’s a room specifically designed for that purpose, why not just move to the room? There’s no need to cause problems. If no one notices, it’s not a problem. The only time I see people complain is when the woman is all preachy and trying to show off. If you’re doing it just because you’re a “woman” and you “can” and you feel the need to make sure everyone else knows that, then the problems start. But as far as that goes, why can’t I pee in public? Even if it’s around the corner where no one would see or get pee’d on. That’s natural. Or better yet, if a woman is breastfeeding in public, why can’t a come over and stare and get a good look the whole time? Maybe take some pictures? Technically it’s legal as there’s no expectation of privacy in public, but I’m willing to bet I would be on a sex offenders registry if I tried.

Peeing =/= eating. I bet you’d be offended if you stopped off at a park, opened up your lunch bag, started to eat, and was told to “NOT DO THAT IN PUBLIC, GROSS!” People really, really need to stop comparing a child eating to pissing and shitting. Not.The.Fucking.SAME.

@xipander: “Or better yet, if a woman is breastfeeding in public, why can’t a come over and stare and get a good look the whole time? Maybe take some pictures? Technically it’s legal as there’s no expectation of privacy in public, but I’m willing to bet I would be on a sex offenders registry if I tried. “

Wow. You have issues. A breast feeding a baby is not for YOU. It’s for the baby’s health. Period. The fact that you’re obviously offended by that just shows that you, not the mothers FEEDING THEIR CHILDREN in public, have major issues with the female body.

@little stripes: so peeing in public is a lot more urgent. in many states a public urination citing can get you registered as a sex offender despite the fact that you literally at some point can no longer hold it and will pee on yourself.

@xipander: I don’t really see the problem here. Evidently the mother’s room wasn’t up to her cleanliness standards, which is fine, she is not obligated to use it. I seriously doubt she was making a big show of breastfeeding in public (or showing off or being preachy). She wasn’t being confrontational or “causing problems,” the manager was the one making the big to do about it. I have never in my life seen a breastfeeding woman “showing off” in public–most are very discreet. I also don’t see a parallel between peeing in public and breastfeeding in public–they are two very different things. And staring and taking photos of a woman breast-feeding is just plain creepy. I’m not sure anyone but a sex-offender would actually do that.

In my experience, the gliders/rockers on the sales floor are not going to be sold. They are floor samples and are generally in poor condition already.

I breastfed my son for 21 months. He was nursed on demand, and often times that meant nursing in public. I abandoned the cover/drape when he was about 2 months old. After a certain point, when the babe is attached to breast for many hours during the day, the fear of exposing a breast (gasp!) falls by the wayside.

Penn and Teller BS did an episode on exactly this (without the chair) — Episode #52. Watch it, it’s quite illuminating on the issue. Their opinion? It’s private property, and up to the store as to what they want happening there. If enough shoppers there find watching others nurse distasteful, the store will ban it. If enough shoppers find it distasteful that a store would ban nursing, it will be allowed.

This isn’t some sort of equal rights issue. It’s not like someone is being told they can’t shop at the store because of something outside of their control. It’s easily within your control to choose to breastfeed where the store asks you to, or not to be in the store at all. And that’s not an unreasonable expectation at all, IMHO.

Vote with your dollars! Personally, in a baby store, I agree its okay, but not on the furniture they are selling!

And it sucks that California is implementing laws like that. Laws like those are just plain wrong. Leave it to California, I suppose…

@RStewie: I wonder if you’ll feel differently once you have a child. Sometimes a baby needs to eat RIGHT NOW and there is no other option but to feed them RIGHT NOW and perhaps RIGHT NOW is in a public place and no private option is available. I’m sorry you are so weirded out by breastfeeding, but sometimes there is no other option.

Man, they’re in the dark ages. here in Connecticut, its a criminal offense to try and stop someone from breastfeeding. IIRC 10k fine and 90 days in jail. (My memory sucks, so I could be wrong. I’m too lazy to look it up.)

I have to side with the store here. I am pro-breastfeeding and I don’t have a problem with women breastfeeding in public – babies have to eat and they are not good at waiting on a meal. But you don’t have to breastfeed on new merchandise that is for sale anymore than you would take a nap on mattress at a mattress store.

Quoting California Civil Code 43.3 won’t make it okay to, say, breastfeed on top of a shaky ladder at Home Depot, or sitting on someone else’s plate of spaghetti at Olive Garden, or while running down the subway tracks. The armchair lawyers love to reduce everything to a single code, law, case, or public statement, then play interpretation-twister to justify their actions.

Lady, you’re using a store display item in a potentially unsanitary or damaging way. You could be the cleanest mom in town, and that’s good, but there will be plenty of other parents attempting to change diapers on those same display items, and the stores have to draw a line. It’s still the property of the store and subject to their rules and, yes, their whims too.

But let’s be totally honest. Maybe their feeding rooms and bathrooms smelled like baby poo (a strangely offensive odor to some, maybe most people), but can we admit that there was at least a little temptation at the convenience of the glider, or nursing chair, or whatever it was (I’m not a baby enthusiast, I don’t know).

1. Breastfeeding is NOT the same as taking a shit, pissing, or fucking. It is *feeding* a child.

2. Breast milk is NOT a biohazard and it is very unlikely that you’ll get sick if you accidently touch some.

3. As someone mentioned above, it is highly unsanitary to breastfeed in a bathroom. Would you eat in a bathroom? Didn’t think so.

4. Breasts are NOT here for a man’s sexual pleasure. Breasts are made to FEED children. Sure, they can be sexual, but only in the right context. If it is being used to feed a child, it is NOT sexual. If you find it sexual, you have a problem, NOT the mother or the baby.

In conclusion, if you have a problem with public breastfeeding, that is YOUR problem. Period.

@masonreloaded “Breastfeeding is natural – but I don’t want to see it in public anymore than I want to see other natural acts in public.”

I’m truly sorry this is uncomfortable for you. Babies need to eat and California state law provides that they may do so in a public place. Laws can be changed, but honestly I don’t think this one is going anywhere.

If customers are allowed to sit on the furniture to try it out then they are allowed to nurse on them. However, it is perfectly within reason for a store to disallow sitting on the furniture. If there were signs posted that testing out furniture (sitting etc.) is not permitted she would have been in the wrong to nurse on them. As it is BRU ENCOURAGES mothers to test out their chairs. You can’t have it both ways.

@nicemarmot617
“La Leche League is insane. Breastfeeding, while a perfectly natural, non-disgusting thing to do, is not always appropriate. This organization is like the PETA of breastfeeding. They have a good idea, but they take it way too far.”

In my area at least LLL is just a support group for women breastfeeding. Comparing them to PETA doesn’t ring true with me. PETA has done some very real illegal or at least questionable things and has allegedly conspired with eco-terrorist groups. LLL has never had any alleged illegal activities. They are just unapologetic in their stance that breastfeeding is natural and should be allowed anywhere. You don’t have to agree with that philosophy, but they are NOT promoting illegal acts in order to breastfeed.

Also its really sad that this view of LLL is still prevalent in America. There are always some extremists in any organization, but MOST LLL members/leaders are just moms wanting to give/receive help in breastfeeding. Its a shame that so many women who want to breastfeed are told not to go to LLL because they’re wackadoos. Breastfeeding is NOT easy, and though natural it takes a lot of work and dedication to nurse. Women need all the support they can get, and I just hate the idea that someone who needed help felt they couldn’t go to LLL because of this view.

—————————————-
My own stance: I’m a mother of 2 young children. I breastfed the first for 4 months non-exclusively. My second is now 9 months old and has never had a drop of formula. He continues to breastfeed now, but also eats solids.

Frankly, if you don’t want to see breastfeeding you can only avoid it by staying in your house or leaving a room as soon a a woman begins to nurse. That would be unreasonable for you. In the same vein, it is unreasonable to assume a breastfeeding mother can/should have to stay in a house or go to a specific room for the entire time a baby is nursing. Babies, especially newborns can nurse every hour or more. Imagine having to leave the room and go sit in a stinky place for 10-20 minutes out of every hour because a woman is breastfeeding her baby… If it doesn’t make sense for you it doesn’t make sense for the nursing mother. Breastfeeding is best for human babies and should be encouraged. Making someone feel bad for trying to do what is right just isn’t helpful.

Having formula fed one child and breastfed another, I’ve gotten dirty looks BOTH ways. At least when I breastfeed I know I am actually doing what is best. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. I certainly never want to expose myself (personal choice) but I also will not feed my baby in unsanitary conditions. If a room smells like poop I tend to think that there may be poop on the furniture. Grosses me out and I wouldn’t change my baby in a stinky room let alone feed them there.

That being said, my local BRU has a lovely mothers room and its clean. I’ve used it many a time. I have, however, been to a BRU in another state and the “mother’s room” was a broken chair and a changing table and it REEKED. In that situation I’d nurse where was more appropriate for the child and be as discreet as humanly possible.

I think the point is that the mom was just trying to feed the baby and the employee went against BRU’s policy to allow a mother to nurse anywhere within the store she is otherwise permitted. Its not as if she decided to nurse behind the register or in the men’s room. She nursed where she was allowed to be, which is within the rights given to her by the state of California AND BRU’s parent company. Above that, the employee was allegedly rude to her. I’m certain that is unacceptable regardless of the nursing.

And even if breast pumps were cheap, how can you make a law forcing them to be used?

Personally, I’m more worried about an infant not getting fed properly than the mess, boob, or the germs. And I’m even pro-choice (because lets face it, a man has no business imposing his will on that topic).

I’m with the mother on this. I’m used to it. I’ve never seen anything gross about it. But the store could’ve made a request to not sit in the display and do it. If they have signage up and are active on not using displays for feedings, then She can move to a bench or something. Its a fine line, and I think they can request her to move, if only on display funiture. But they can’t make her go to the room if she doesn’t want to. And for all that are offended, Look away. Its not that hard to slightly adjust your head to the left a little. While I personally believe that you should try and to cover up at least, you can do it however you want. My ex would just flop it out and let my son go at it wiouth covering up at all.

@katylostherart: Anecdotal evidence is totes accurate. What about my twin sister who had a hard time pumping with a decent one? And found it time consuming and cumbersome and more of a pain in the neck than a convenience? And what about those women who have a hard time breast feeding naturally to begin with? NOT ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

And even so, not all women WANT to pump, even if they CAN, and that is a valid choice.

@Rectilinear Propagation: so breast pump and bottling breast milk is also horrible?

there’s another option.. “

my actual quote. “there’s another option” i said nothing about should. and it still is a “could”

you having breastfed does not make your opinion more valid than any of my friends or family members that have breast fed. if i’m pulling a third person anecdote out, you have to realize you ARE a third person anecdote to me as well and your opinions are equally valid. i’m sorry pumping was such a pain for you. it’s a valid option for plenty of women that i’ve seen in my life.

@katylostherart: “my actual quote. “there’s another option” i said nothing about should. and it still is a “could”

Please tell me why it’s up to YOU to mention these “other options.” I’m sure this woman knows that these other options exist and does not need you telling her about them. It’s fucking -condescending- to say things like, “Well…she could just pump!” Yeah, she could, but that’s not any of your business. Period.

“suggesting a reasonable alternative to any action is ok.”

Uh-huh, because women need to hear it from you, because obviously women are dumb and don’t know that there are alternatives.

@little stripes: please tell me why it’s up to you to decide what i can and cannot suggest? this is a post on a public forum. it’s just as much my business as yours.

and some women don’t know their options. how many women get taught how to pump their own breasts by massaging them to get the milk out, without any external pump? i actually seriously doubt most mothers know about that option because mechanical breast pumps and breastfeeding are so common.

@katylostherart: Oh, you can suggest anything you want, that doesn’t mean it’s not condescending and not your place. Would you REALLY want someone to tell you how to parent? Really? Because, sure, someone can, but that doesn’t mean they should, nor does it mean it’s right.

Your condescending tone is what we have an issue with. It’s not like you’re talking with a friend who is asking for your opinion on something; you are saying, “Well … why doesn’t she just pump?!” Not acceptable.

Sure, you can say it; but I and most other people can go ahead and think you’re a condescending asshole who doesn’t know what breastfeeding is about.

@little stripes: again why is it not my place? you’re obviously trying to tell me what i should think. again, this is a discussion on a public forum. your opinion has the same credence as mine. you can think it’s condescending, i can think the same of yours. and i can think of plenty of instances when maybe someone should tell someone else how to parent. maybe this isn’t one of them. but really, why’s it so wrong to suggest an alternative? i was pretty excited to find out about tampons when i was 14 and using pads. you are taking personal offense to something not even directed at you because you believe you can relate to this woman. why would you not want to be told about something that could possibly (notice i did not say definitely) make your life easier?

@katylostherart: You weren’t mentioning the alternative to a friend who was asking your opinion. You implied that the mother SHOULD have used an alternative instead of breastfeeding in public. It IS wrong for you to say that she could (or rather “should” as that’s basically what you have implied over and over), because 1)it’s none of your business how she chooses to feed her children 2)you don’t know her situation and you don’t know if pumping is even a viable option for her and 3)again, it’s none of your business, and it’s damn condescending to say, “Well, why not just pump?! Then you don’t have to pop a boob out in public! And hey!!! It’s gotta be easier! And they are cheaper! I know ‘cuz my anecdotal evidence says so!”

Until the law is changed, sounds like the mother had every right to breastfeed her baby in public. Personally, I would rather do so in a more private place, but hey, to each his own.

I’m a bit confused though. She wanted to use the “glider” for its intended purpose? Does she mean “to sit” or to “nurse”? Is there such a thing as a “nursing glider”? Even at the BabiesRUs website I could only find reference to a nursing ottoman.

Also, it takes time to nurse a baby. It seems a bit unfair that she was going to hog the glider for a period of time and preclude anyone else from testing it out themselves.

I’m amazed at how many people are ragging on this mom because they think she was “making a statement.” Everything we do makes a statement. This mom was saying “I have a hungry baby that needs to eat. I need to sit down and feed him/her, which is what I’m going to do.” And while I can see where some of you are coming from with the “it could get the chair dirty” concerns I will say this: so could a toddler who is toilet training and has an accident while sitting in the chair, or so could a person with less than stellar hygiene who tries out the chair and gets BO all over it, and so could…except that nursing is really not that likely to get the chair dirty (moms usually bear the brunt of spit up). Besides, plenty of stores seems to have no problems with moms nursing on the display merchandise (I hear great things about Ikea). Also, whether a mom covers or not should have nothing to do with anything (some babies will NOT tolerate eating under a hot and humid blanket).

I am, unfortunately, one of those people that “freaks out” at the whole breatfeeding-in-public thing. I don’t care about the sight of it, and I know it’s a necessary thing (really? can’t you bottle that stuff and feed them that way?) and all that.

But I don’t like it. It completely squicks me out and makes me uncomfortable. And I’m a woman. The sound is nasty and the thought makes me nauseous. Kind of like someone that disciplines their kid in front of me.

Stuff like that should be private. I know some people think it’s natural and that they have a right (which they do, accoridng to these laws) but hey, it’s natural for me to take a dump, but that doesn’t mean a store has to avail me of a toilet or that I can just do it anywhere. Also, I have to eat and drink, but I can’t do that in a lot of stores.

I know my opinion doesn’t “count” and that it won’t be popular, but I wish people would be more sensitive, and not think that their circumstance trumps someone elses for whatever reason.

@xay: Mine doesn’t. And the law is on their side. But why can’t they see the other side of it?

Just because you see things one way, and the law says it’s ok, doesn’t mean the other opinion or side or whatever doesn’t have a valid point. What’s so wrong with acknowledging it, and (maybe) doing something about it?

@RStewie: When I was a breastfeeding mom , I did understand that breastfeeding offends some people and squicks them out, which is why I either tried to find a public place or covered my son’s head with a blanket.

But when it comes down to it, my priority is to my child first before your sensibilities. I am no lactivist, but I’d rather annoy you than deal with a hungry, screaming baby when there is a very simple solution.

@little stripes: i think the real point doesn’t have to do with enjoyment. she doesn’t have to actually tolerate it either. the easiest way for her to not tolerate it is of course to leave the area. it’s not all about any single person. one person’s comfort doesn’t take seat over someone else’s just because there happens to be a baby involved. what makes the nursing mom more important than everyone else around her anyway?

@katylostherart: Uh, because the baby needs to eat? It’s much, much easier for people to just NOT LOOK if it bothers them.

And if you’re bothered by a mother feeding her child, you have issues. Period. A boob is NOT just there for sexual enjoyment. Context DOES matter. If you’re too immature to realize that, it’s not the mother or the baby’s fault.

@little stripes: obviously “enjoy” wasn’t the exact word I was looking for. more like “be cool with it” or “not be uncomfortable”.

No need to be upset, though. I’m just saying it’s ok for people to not be comfortable around a woman that is breastfeeding, and that just because it’s her right to do it, doesn’t mean it’s automatically offensive if someone else doesn’t feel comfortable around it.

@RStewie: I don’t think anyone is saying that you have to be cool with it or that you have to be comfortable with it.

What I am saying is that you should suck it up and deal. I have never seen these ostentatious breastfeeding mothers that always come up in these discussions who pull out their breast and let the baby dangle off of it for an hour while chanting breastfeeding slogans and heckling passers by for their discomfort other than at nurse ins.

@xay: oh, that’s hilarious! and I would have to comment if I ran up on one of those women, too.

I do walk away. 1. I don’t want to be there. 2. They don’t really want me there.

I just wish the people commenting wouldn’t be so quick to jump on commenters that find it uncomfortable. They’re ALLOWED to feel like that, and it’s not a crack in their moral fiber or anything like that. Maybe if I had breastfed a child, I wouldn’t feel like that, but I haven’t and I won’t ever, so I do. But my point is that it is OK to be uncomfortable. It doesn’t reflect poorly on a person to feel like that.

But according to the previous comments on this site, it ISN’T ok. It’s obvs a sign that a person is immature or sexually deviant or oppressing women…or whatever.

@xay: Squicks? I’ve never heard that term, but I think I’ll use it from now on.

And I’m with you 100%. Who cares if other people are offended? The whole point of breast-feeding is nourishing your baby so their opinion is the only one that should count. My son never complained about where I chose to feed him.

I too always used a blanket if I was in a public place, simply because I didn’t feel like being gawked at by ignorant people.

@RStewie: The fact that something squicks you out is not the world’s problem. When you’re at a restaurant, do you throw a blanket over your head to eat in case the sight of you eating squicks somebody out?

A baby with a tit in its mouth is a baby that’s not crying, screaming or otherwise bothering you. If you’d rather listen to ear-piercing shrieks than risk seeing a sliver of boob, you need therapy.

@katylostherart: so you think sex should be private, unless it involves artifical sex organs and then it’s OK? That’s exactly what you’re saying if you think breastfeeding should be hidden but bottlefeeding is cool.

I guess the problem must be with uptight bitches who can’t stand that their undersexed husbands might catch a little extra breast-action on the side. Seriously, my wife and her friends breast feed in public all of the time and we have a couple of friends who whip out their breasts without a care – you wouldn’t be surprised how many guys guiltily admire.

I’m with the commenter who said that the lady shouldn’t have breast fed on salable merchandise, though.

@mariospants: I’d be surprised, actually. I love boobs, sure, but they’re not really that sexy with a mewling crotch-fruit all over ’em.

No problem, personally, with breastfeeding in public or anywhere else. Even in front of my (hypothetical) kids. (It’s actually a lack of exposure to images of nudity that fucks up children, imo.) I don’t really get the guys that get some kind of sexual thrill out of it. I mean there’s no sexual context whatsoever. It’s as sexy as a medical exam.

Oh, and I do know of one lady who said she would never breast feed because “it’s a sexual area and would make me feel uncomfortable”.

In my experience, there are some girls who get seriously sexually aroused when their nipples are played with (the majority either don’t even care for it or are oblivious to it) so I can understand this portion of the population getting a little riled up by breast feeding if only that a similar activity would provoke awkward feelings for them (wasn’t there an article in that “what to expect when you’re expecting” book about breastfeeding regarding women who actually orgasm while breastfeeding?).

Anyway, those squeemish women should look away as the majority are feeding their kids, not taking a shit in public.

IR stands for Incident Report. It is the system used by many large companies to keep track of all issues. Problem tickets can be linked to the IR. All work with an IR is recorded, including the amount of customers affected, time spent on the issue, and how long it was open. Its basically just a tracking system so upper management can see how many resources have been spent/wasted on problems/incidents.

@katylostherart: Of course some people find lactating breasts sexual. That doesn’t mean women should stop breastfeeding in public because there are people who are too immature to realize that a woman breastfeeding in public is not doing it for sexual pleasure, but to feed their baby. I mean, seriously. If you can’t control your sexual urges, then stay inside.

“I’ve never understood why people are so adamant about breast feeding in a public place? If you’re discreet about it then fine, but most of these people want their boobs hanging out for all to see as if its no big deal.”

That is absolutely absurd. Here is why people feed in public- because their kids are hungry. Mothers get told what to do in public in ways that people would never, EVER apply to fathers. People seem to think that the bodies of women, especially those who are pregnant or have children- are public domain.

My friend was once asked by a manager at a restaurant to go to the bathroom to nurse her son because some rednecks at the table over weren’t okay with her quietly and totally covered-up feeding her infant son. Would YOU eat your paid-for meal in a public bathroom? Why should a child eat in a public bathroom? Why should a mother be shuffled off somewhere like she’s a disgrace?

I don’t know where you live, but I have NEVER seen a woman breast feed with a full boob hanging out. Most women are not comfortable having people like you talk about their breasts. I am sure some people do it, but the majority do not. If you see nipple, you are probably looking a little too closely. While we are on the subject, many children aren’t comfortable with a whole blanket over their head. They are already fussy and hungry. Why make them hot on top of that? Most women nurse with a blanket or with their shirt just over the top of the baby. Honestly I believe many nursing mothers use the covers to keep creeps from staring at them.

Our culture is so messed up that we cannot show a part of a body without being sex-obsessed with it. Breasts are natural and are an evolutionary tool developed to feed young.

On top of everything- I would rather see a happy mom and baby nursing than to hear a kid screaming because she or he is hungry. I work in a fairly expensive restaurant for the time being and I can promise you I’d welcome a nursing mom at my table rather than have a screaming child ruin everyone’s dinner. If you don’t like it, don’t look. At least you won’t hear the kid crying.

The stench of entitlement and indignation from the posters in here is sickening.

To not spend more the a moments thought on whether or not something so mundane as breastfeeding a child is offensive or not offensive to you just goes to show that people need something to do with their time.

OMG — I was just at babies r us this weekend, and as I was sitting on a glider with my 4 week old son, and I asked if they had a place to nurse and they firmly directed me to the mother’s room. It was a nice enough room and the gilder they had in there was ok, but not as nice as the one I wanted to buy. It would have been nice to “test drive” it.

I know I’m a little late to this party, but this quote from katylostherart made me laugh… derisively:

“i’ve seen people do it and all i can think was, it wasn’t easier to just fill a bottle before you left and pull that out instead of unbuttoning a shirt, undoing a nursing bra, getting out whatever you’re going to use to cover your boob if you’re going to and a whole bunch of other stuff.”

So before you leave, you have to unbutton your shirt, undo your nursing bra, get out whatever you’re going to use, assemble the breast pump, pump for anywhere between 10-30 minutes to get the right amount to fill a bottle, clean the equipment, get something to keep the bottle cool, and then once the baby gets hungry, scramble to find a place to warm up the bottle, which could include asking employees to use their hot water tap.

This is, of course, assuming you a) have a pump and b) your baby will take a bottle. Not totally safe assumptions.

No, yeah, that’s way easier than throwing a kid on the ol’ boob, letting it eat, and going on about your business.

Anywho, I have had two kids and I was a bit shy on the public breastfeeding. However, I would not use a room provided by a store unless it was large enough to be comfortable for the whole family plus stroller and it did not smell to all high heaven. I did very minimal breast feeding outside of the home just because of my feelings about it. However, I don’t care if other ladies “whip it out.”

I had both a manual and one of the most expensive electric breast pumps out there. My manual pump worked much better, however, because it was manual it also tended to aggravate my carpal tunnel. You can bottle up the boob juice, but then you also have to keep it cold in transport and then warm it up once the little one wants it…not always able to do that.

So, what we seem to forget is that this lady was using a FLOOR DISPLAY MODEL. Stores put these out so you can try them and they EXPECT them to get dirty. They sell floor models cheap when they no longer need them. If something spilled, I am not sure it would have been cleaned up at all. The guy was wrong wrong wrong to ask her to move, law or no law, this was not merchandise that was set aside because someone already purchased it…it was the floor model literally being used for its purpose!

Wow, I wonder how people would go off if they saw a lady with a baby that had one of those great “blow out” diapers…poop is much harder to clean up off fabric than breast milk.

@dorastandpipe: Wow, I wonder how people would go off if they saw a lady with a baby that had one of those great “blow out” diapers…poop is much harder to clean up off fabric than breast milk.

Since you’re arguing that it’s the display model, so does that mean if a baby had the blow out would it be acceptable to use the display table and diaper disposal unit because the “mother’s room smells like poop?” Because it’s a display model that is going to be discounted anyway? They’re usually discounted because of scratches and nicks, not fluids.

To the “not a health hazard” commenters

Our son’s daycare has breastfeeding mom’s label the bottles with red bio-hazard style labels (formula moms use plain white labels) and the teachers all need to wear plastic gloves when handling the breast milk. Whether it is actually a hazard or not it’s enough that the thought of using something that has another person’s fluid on it probably grosses out a large majority of people. And even if they have no intention of selling the models, surely they intend others to sit in eventually to test it out, and they shouldn’t have to sit in potential messes.

Where I work (bookstore) we’ve had kids pee and poop on the carpet and had the parents leave and the staff is notified by another customer that witnessed the accident. Granted not every time but parents are embarrassed and want to leave. So I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a “no feeding” policy and that it came about from parents not cleaning after themselves and their kids. If the mother’s room is in such poor shape it’s not a reach to think that other parents may have left messes in the rest of the store on past occasions, causing such a policy to exist.

Bottom line is fluids are fluids and I don’t want to purchase or even test drive an item that may have the potential for a person’s fluids to be on it. If I were to see someone breastfeeding on merch at BRU I would leave, not because of the feeding but because the illusion that anything in that store is clean has been destroyed.

Why not test drive a bib and a new cover up while your at it, if most of the spitup ends up on the parent. Because you can’t guarantee that ever single time the mother and baby will leave it in the exact condition they arrived in.

If people insist on feeding on the floor models because “the law says so” the next step is NO MORE FLOOR MODELS in stores and then there will be Consumerist posts about that.

There are no winners in this, only this 4 hour debate about breastfeeding.

Hey brainiac. Because feeding a child gets prioritized over a mothers discomfort. You think it feels great when the child is feeding? Any mother here can answer that.

I guess, starting the vehicle, and controlling the climate is too much to ask.

Besides, the mother needs to plan for the child to be fed. What if she wasnt a babys r us that provided a facility? What if she was at walmart or target or the gas station or getting her oil changed? GUESS WHAT? YOU MAKE IT WORK, WHATEVER IT TAKES!

@little stripes: Just face it. We need to get back in the kitchen so we can have dinner ready for our husbands. Don’t forget to make yourself look perty before he gets home, and have a drink in hand for him!

Don’t you think that if the mother’s uncomfortable, the child will be uncomfortable too? Children who are uncomfortable for any reason won’t eat.

Wal Mart, Target, and most oil change places have chairs or couches or benches provided for the comfort of the customer. If she’s at a gas station, chances are her car is already cool enough to sit in and feed the child.

The problem is people like the employee in this story and quite a few commenters on this post, who want to deny breastfeeding women their legal right to feed in public or shame her for wanting to do so.

Um, no… that actually isn’t the case in the slightest. I have seen women in the most uncomfortable positions feeding their children. Ive seen women at sweat rolling off their backs at the beach DYING of heat and the child is cooing away.

Thanks you. You are solidifying my point. You make it work. Despite the surroundings.

I agree, the OP isn’t an outcast in the least. She is just a poor planner and selfish.

@TenaciousC: If you have no other choice but to feed your child on a hot beach with sweat rolling down your back and sitting in an uncomfortable position, then you do just that, and count yourself lucky that your child will eat in that circumstance. Mine certainly wouldn’t.

This woman was not on a hot beach. She was surrounded by comfortable chairs in a place that caters to mothers with children in a state that gives her the legal right to breastfeed wherever she wants.

@allthatsevil: Hell, I’m wondering how many people would eat in a bathroom that DOESN’T smell like poop. Something tells me that TenaciousC eats in plenty of public places, and certainly never eats in a bathroom.

Can you quantify some points, so that I may answer correctly? One can only assume you are asking me to put myself in the child’s shoes, since the mother isn’t the one eating.

Please post results to these questions. Then i will answer.
How hungry am I?
Am I a growing child?
Do I know that the poop smells like poop and it is supposed to gross me out?
Do I know when my next meal will be?
Do I know how much i will get to eat when i do eat?

Since the baby can’t talk and likely isn’t necessarily aware that the room smells like POOP and therefore likely isn’t SANITARY, it’s okay if the mother feeds her child in there. That’s what you’re saying? For reals?

“Do I know that the poop smells like poop and it is supposed to gross me out?”

You do realize that poop is unsanitary, don’t you?

There are plenty of people who lose their sense of smell who STLL WOULD NOT AT IN A BATHROOM.

@TenaciousC: “Hey brainiac. Because feeding a child gets prioritized over a mothers discomfort. You think it feels great when the child is feeding? Any mother here can answer that.”

Hey, brainiac, if the mother is uncomfortable, it is likely the child is also uncomfortable. If a car is hot and the mother is hot, the child is probably even hotter and it will be even MORE difficult for the baby to feed and could infact be dangerous.

A mother’s comfort IS important, because if the mother isn’t as comfortable as she can get in most situations, the baby is likely also not comfortable.

Also, I live in a very hot climate and it takes probably 5-6 minutes to cool down my car. Depending on where Addie lives in California, it could be equally hot and take an equally long time to cool down the car.

Not that any of that matters, because she shouldn’t have to abandon all of her purchases (which is rude to the employees) and go sit in her hot car when it happens to be her legal right to sit in a public place and breastfeed.

@little stripes: I really think that a lot of people think that if one child does things a certain way, all children will. My son was very picky about where and when and how he ate. If he was hot, forget it, he just wanted to whine when he was hungry – and if he ate while he was hot, he’d spit up. And I live in a hot climate, and he was born in June. I didn’t go out much…

We can discuss logistics of how long it takes to cool down cars and the science behind “poop particles” floating in the air, not having a car and(insert legless argument here) if you want. However, you will need to also explain that to the STARVING CHILD, and quickly, because she/he is kinda hungry.

@TenaciousC: “However, you will need to also explain that to the STARVING CHILD, and quickly, because she/he is kinda hungry.”

Right. At which point I’d sit myself down in the glider chair at Babies R Us and cover myself and nurse.

Yes, the child’s hunger takes precedence over the mother’s discomfort. Similarly, my child’s hunger takes precedence over the discomfort of some weirdo that thinks breastfeeding should take place behind closed doors only. I’m not going to scramble around trying to find a place to nurse because of YOUR discomfort – I’m going to nurse wherever I have to, DISCREETLY, as is my right.

@TenaciousC: I have read all of your comments and came to the conclusion that you are a troll. Your only purpose here was to stir shit (pun intended) and attempt to “troll”. same for that katy person.

People DO argue just for the sake of it on the net and they are called trolls. It’s best to not even acknowledge them and go about the conversation without them. The more you feed them, the worse they get.

I wish threads would get locked by the editors once every point has been made and starts to repeat itself again like were seeing here in this one.

Please, lets not feed the trolls, don’t even give them the satisfaction of letting them know you’re reading their comments. Just flat out ignore them once you see who wrote them.

@TenaciousC: okay you did your job, but if it’s meaningless to you why comment in the first place.

And I read all comments for the most part. I read all of your initial comments to see why the fuck you joined the conversation in the first place. It just seemed you were in the mood for a fight. Excuse me if I’m wrong. I’m not afraid to admit it like others. I have ALWAYS kept an open mind.

@snoop-blog: And now after saying you’re ignoring him, you continue to “feed the troll” as you would say. (Note: I don’t think he’s trolling). Continuing to go on like this is more troll-like than anything I’ve seen TenaciousC do in this thread.

As a current breastfeeding mother I am obligated to be outraged at this, and more so because it is BABIES R’ US for Christ sakes, you would assume a greater level of understanding of the breastfeeding mother’s needs. That said, I don’t think I would EVER use a display model glider to breastfeed my child in. Granted a mother should have every right to pull out the boob and feed when her child is hungry without question, but I think the store has a right to be able to display it’s merchandise without it being in a compromised state. Breastfeeding CAN be messy, especially with a “very wiggly and easily distracted” baby, and those gliders are expensive, generally between 200-600 dollars, and while big stores are insured and could probably afford a replacement if need be, should they have too when they do provide mothers with an alternative? I am appalled by the sales associates attitude and “look of disgust”, if that was the case, but I also get annoyed with women who believe that it is unacceptable and almost abusive to nurse their babies in a setting sub-par to a cloud. Sometime conditions aren’t ideal, but I promise you that most babies, in this circumstance, are truly more concerned with the feeding aspect then the aesthetic one.

Anyone who’s ever breastfed a child should know, positioning is important. I don’t see what the problem is with her trying OUT a glider at the same time. She could of found the perfect glider, and they would of had a $300+ sale in 15 mins.

Toys R Us, you get a slap on the hiney for being crude and turning a simple choice into a shameful spiral of debachery.

Heavens to mergatroid, people – we’re not beasts, we’re civilized creatures. If you need to do a biological function like that, go be discreet about it. Don’t wave it about like a flag in people’s faces!

I’ll freely admit that I’m about as far from being a prude as you can get, and think that America is waAAAy too hung up on the human body – but I’m also not going to whip it out and start wanking right there in front of god and everyone.

@El_Fez: You’re right, we’re not beasts, we are civilized creatures. This is why when you feel the urge to masturbate, you can wait to get home and do it in private. Babies have no similar brain filter. When they are hungry, they want to eat now.

Have you ever seen a woman breastfeeding? Did she undo her nursing bra and say “HEY Y’ALL! HERE ARE MY BOOBS! I’M GOING TO STICK ONE OF THEM IN MY BABY’S MOUTH NOW! EVERYONE GET A GOOD LOOK?” Yeah, probably not. If you saw her nipple for more than a second or two, I’d be surprised.

Seriously, if they wanted to draw everybodys attention, they’d just pierce every part of their body as humanly possible with jewelry so big it stretches you ear, nose, or lip out; while tatooing on your entire body with different colors, wearing black everything (including makeup) while having fake horns implanted on your forehead.

@snoop-blog: oh, but that is so much different than whipping your boobies out for the whole world to see. I mean, when you’re breastfeeding you’re practically shoving your tits in my face–I mean really, why can’t you nourish your growing baby at home for pete’s sake. I’d MUCH rather listen to your child SCREAMING then see you completely covered by a blanket, your child quietly eating. And breastfeeding is totally the same thing as masturbating in public or taking a dump in the floor model toilet at Home Depot. Totally. (some of these comments here just boggle the mind, don’t they?)

I don’t know, I mean on one hand, you can try out a car or a pair of jeans before purchasing, but then again, you can’t go into a appliance store and wash a load of laundry to see if you want a washing machine, or head into Victoria’s Secret and drop trou in the middle of the store to try on their products. That’s why they have dressing rooms.

back before there were bottles and pumps, this was the only way. At what point did society become so me!me!me! and fuck the babies! I don’t care if you are trying to raise a family, do it in the privacy of your own home so ME!ME!ME! doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable. No wonder other countries hate America. We are about the stupidest nation ever. Literally. Our education system and standards are jokes. And apparently we suck at parents because we can’t teach our children compassion, and are afraid to talk to them about sex and the human body.

@jmuskratt: Would you avoid eating a burger in public if you knew there was a vegetarian in the room? If you knew that vegetarian was uncomfortable with you eating meat, would you stop what you were doing and go eat in the bathroom so the vegetarian would feel better about himself?

This is so immature. I naively used to think people grew up when they passed 30, but making people have to go to a separate room to breastfeed? It’s not like the mother is flashing everyone for the fun of it, she’s trying to raise a baby the healthy way and make time. Why not make people that talk on the cell phone while being checked out at a register go to a separate room? Or people that hog an entire aisle just to hang out with friends (with or without carts) while others have to go through the next aisle to get to the otherside of the group. They’re wasting people’s time, not the rare responsible mother. I’m disgusted. People really need to grow up and learn that breasts have other purposes than distracting other people. This isn’t damn 3rd grade.

Bodily fluids that could possibly contaminate a display item where other customers will touch and examine? While I would like to think that every mother and infant are free of any sort of diseases I wouldn’t touch that thing if it was used afterwards. I’m not a germaphobe but one does need to be careful.

This is why there are rooms for this to begin with. I don’t understand why some people still put up a fight with this issue.

I think nursing a child is a wonderful thing to do… in private. I for one don’t want to walk into a store or any other public place and see a woman breastfeeding her child. It’s great that some of them want to cover up and such while doing it, but a lot of them do not.

So going on with the whole rights thing, does this mean I can whip out my junk and pee in the corner of a store? Not at all, they have a room for that, just like a lot of places have a room for feeding children. Choosing not to use it because of a smell is a choice, but that doesn’t give the right to flip out a breast in a public place. Mens bathrooms smell as well, but you hold your breath and do what you need to do because that is the place to do it.

When my first son was born, I was TERRIFIED of nursing in public. Since I had an excellent milk supply and a good pump, it was easy for me to pump a bottle and bring it along. So I brought bottles to the grocery store … to the mall … to moms’ groups … pretty much everywhere I went.

And when my son turned 2 months old, something bad happened. He started screaming every time I tried to nurse him. He ONLY wanted his bottle. A visit to the lactation consult didn’t fix the problem, though I did everything she suggested.

So I spent the next 10 months of his life pumping milk for him. Whooohooo! That was a BALL! The constant washing pump parts, bottles, nipples, etc … being tethered to the pump around the clock … it was GREAT! /sarcasm … I do count myself very lucky that my supply didn’t bottom out, and that I could afford a second pump after my first one died. N

I am pregnant again, and this time, I am nursing this baby wherever and whenever. It’s not about modesty or activism or anything else — it’s my child’s right to eat (and your right not to have to listen to him scream inconsolably). And although it’s a lovely idea to just “feed the baby before you go,” babies have an amazing way of being hungry again 20 minutes later.

Oh, and no way in H-E-double-hockey-sticks would I feed my child in a bathroom or a room that smelled like poop. Even if it was OK with -me-, my husband would absolutely be horrified and disgusted at the idea.

I’m currently talking to a local congresswoman about strengthening my state’s breastfeeding laws. It’s attitudes like the ones here that make me realize how very, very badly we need protection for mothers who don’t want to do anything more than FEED THEIR FREAKIN’ KIDS! (And anyone who thinks a new mom actually WANTS people to look at her body is sadly, sadly deluded.)

Wow what a crazy set of comments on this story. I can’t believe all the argument about bodily fluids and contamination. The law is clearly on the mother’s side in this case. I don’t see what the point of arguing it — the OP had a right to do it, and that was not respected. Whether we as a group like that right is irrelevant in terms of customer service.

This same thing recently happened at a Vancouver H&M here in Canada, where the mother was asked to use a fitting room. The next week, the store was blocked with lots of breastfeeding mothers in a sort of breastfeeding shop-in protest. There was nothing the store could do but apologize, red-faced, because British Columbia has legal protection for breastfeeding that is similarity worded to the statue cited in this case. Perhaps this could be tried at a Babies-R-Us(-as-long-as-they-aren’t-hungry)?

I’m not offended by breastfeeding, I breastfed my son. I also when he was old enough to be distracted in a store to be wiggly ans squirmy fed him before I left to go to the store knowing that he would not get a good meal. I agree with everyone who said that she should not have fed her child on merchandise, maybe that is because my son did spit up and right after eating he wpit up all over me and everything around us. If not immediatly cleaned would leave a horriable smell and stain. He didn’t ask her to leave he asked her to go to a different part of the store, she chose to pitch a fit like a toddler and leave. If she did go in the room and it wasn’t clean then stand there while you watch them clean it so it was clean for the next mother who came in and needed to feed their child, I am sure they would thank you for it. You chose the route of doing nothign but to be the victim.

If I can’t poop on the toilets on display at Home Depot NO she cannot nurse on the glider on display in BabiesRUS. You cannot guarantee your kid won’t puke or crap on it.

And for the record I nursed both my kids. I didn’t go shopping for nonsense when it was near time for them to eat. In the event they required nursing while out and about, I nursed them in my warm and comfy car and people watched while they nursed.

I’m just not one of those people that needs to make an issue over some things. Sure nursing moms deserve rights, but jesus let’s get real. Unless you’re nursing the next Jesus, get off your high horse. We don’t care that we can’t see your tatas, it’s the CHAIR we’re concerned about.

nursing a baby should be a private bonding moment. Not a moment where you’re likely going to piss someone off, (because in every 3 people there is one jack ass), just so you can “stand up for boob justice”.

@Lorillyn: re your question “why is breastfeeding in public something you would want to do?”

Because babies get hungry. Very young, exclusively breastfed babies get very hungry because breastmilk is digested quickly and they have tiny tummies that need refilled constantly. If I were ever to shop at BRU (more unlikely than ever, unless the store apologizes publicly), my 6 week old would sure as heck be hungry before I was done shopping in that warehouse hovel.

I know this is long, but, I have been doing some research. Look especially toward the end of the list. These moments are deeply uncomfortable for breastfeeding women, most of whom (myself included) are *not* seeking to make a statement, but just want to feed our babies wherever we happen to be whenever they happen to be hungry.

Honestly, I don’t think it matters what people think or prefer, the fact is (as many of you have noted): the law (in California and most U.S. states) protects a woman’s right to breastfeed wherever and whenever she wants. Many people fought long and hard for that right. I am glad that there are, in some places, private spaces available to breastfeeding women who are more modest or shy, but that does not mean that breastfeeding women (like me and others who have posted here) should be sent to bathrooms or behind curtains because some people are offended by our choice to feed our children naturally.

Do a google search and you will find that across the nation women who breastfeed our children are sometimes harassed in public for doing so (I have personally been harassed at a mall be security guards, at a Target by an employee, and – no joke – at a Motherhood Maternity store by an employee).

At a moment when we know that breastfeeding provides superior nourishment for babies and protects them from many illnesses and even decreases the chance of SIDS by something like 80%, I am shocked and disappointed that we live in a culture in which women are so regularly shamed for doing in public what we agree to be better for babies. Is it not possible that some women might choose to breastfeed less, less often, or stop sooner due to this cultural environment? Think it through — we all benefit from provided support and respect for women who breastfeed, wherever and whenever they / we want.

8. June, 2004, Lansing, Michigan: Woman breastfeeding her 8-week-old daughter in a “designated family area” was told to move to the nursing room by a security guard who said that she “was on private property and breaking indecent exposure laws.”

10. December, 2005, South Carolina: Woman seeking to breastfeed her 10-week-old daughter in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room was told by the employee there to go feed her baby in the bathroom.

11. January, 2006, Ann Arbor, Michigan: Woman asked to stop breastfeeding her six-month-old son at the YMCA. She was there watching her older son during his swimming lesson. They said she was distracting the lifeguards.

12. June, 2006, Providence, Rhode Island: Woman breastfeeding her baby in the Providence Place mall food court was told by a mall employee to go to the restroom to breastfeed.

13. September, 2006, Gig Harbor, Washington: Woman who was already nervous about public breastfeeding needed to feed her 2-month-old baby. She was traumatized; “people stared at [her] like she was naked” even though she was covered up.

14. September, 2006, New York City: Woman asked to stop breastfeeding her seven-month-old son and harassed by several employees for breastfeeding at a Toys R Us store.

15. November, 2006, Burlington, Vermont: Woman and her baby kicked off a Delta / Freedom airplane after refusing to stop breastfeeding. The flight attendant told her that the breastfeeding was “offending her” and would not be allowed.

16. January, 2007, Plymouth, Michigan: Woman was barred from breastfeeding her twenty-six-month-old son at his daycare, the Rainbow Child Development Center, in front of other children.

17. February, 2007, Pennsylvania: Woman was told to stop breastfeeding by security guards at The Berkshire Mall. Public breastfeeding is now legal in Pennsylvania (as of July 2008).

18. February, 2007, Manhattan, New York: Woman asked to stop breastfeeding her infant son and harassed at a Fossil Store.

19. March, 2007, San Francisco, California: Woman kicked out of a restaurant in for preparing to breastfeed her six-month-old baby. The owner “grabbed her drinks and told her to ‘get out.'”

20. April, 2007, Houston, Texas: Woman at the Ronald McDonald house awaiting surgery for her 17-month-old son’s brain tumor was asked to stop breastfeeding him in communal space (ie in front of other people).

21. June, 2007, Denver, Colorado: Woman repeatedly asked to leave or cover up while breastfeeding her five-month-old son and watching her other children at the Elitch Gardens Water Park. The experience left her crying and shaking.

22. September, 2007, Kentucky: Woman having lunch with her children at Applebee’s was repeatedly asked to cover her breastfeeding son with a blanket. She left the restaurant in tears.

23. November, 2007, Orlando, Florida: Woman breastfeeding her 10-month-old daughter was approached by a Universal Studios employee and told she had to cover up or be escorted from the park. She was then surrounded by a group of security guards and was made to feel scared, humiliated and belittled.

24. November, 2007, Farmington, Connecticut: Woman breastfeeding her nine-month-old baby in the Westfarms Mall was approached by two security guards who told her that she had to stop breastfeeding or leave, that she had no right because the mall was private property.

25. January, 2008, Milford, Connecticut: Mother harassed by a Target employee while breastfeeding her 13-month-old son who told her that she didn’t care about the law, the breastfeeding should stop because it was disgusting and offensive.

26. February, 2008, New York: Mother told to stop breastfeeding her four-month-old baby or leave a NY state museum. She was there with her husband and other children (aged five and three). She felt humiliated.

27. February, 2008, St. Petersburg, Florida: Mother told to stop breastfeeding her 19-month-old son while having lunch with her daughter at an outdoor picnic table at Rio Vista Elementary School (her daughter’s school).

28. February, 2008, Boston, Massachussets: Mother harassed by several employees for breastfeeing her baby while at lunch at a restaurant with her five children. She was made to feel ashamed and forced to breastfeed in front of many angry stares (or leave without eating food for which she had already paid).

29. March, 2008, Denton, Texas: Mother was kicked out of a hair salon for wanting to breastfeed her hungry, crying eight-month-old baby.

31. June, 2008, Fort Myers, Florida: Mother harassed at Arizona Pizza by servers who placed napkins on the head of her breastfeeding baby – repeatedly.

32. June, 2008, Murfreesboro, Tennessee: Mother asked to stop breastfeeding her 3-month-old baby in the hallway of the County Judicial Building, offering her the custodian’s closet as a reasonable, private space. When she refused, they said she could either leave or be arrested and have Child Services take her son.

33. June, 2008, Westbrook, Connecticut: Mother breastfeeding her 18-month-old son asked to stop by a manager and told she could not breastfeed in the main space Motherhood Maternity store because she might offend other customers, especially children.

34. August, 2008, Jacksonville, Florida: Mother was harassed and told to stop breastfeeding her five-month-old baby or leave a water park where her other children were playing. The park employee told her that breastmilk was a bodily fluid that could contaminate the park.

35. August, 2008: A second mother received the same treatment, same location as above. But, in this case, the park employee shut down the splash pad and told all the parents that it was the fault of the breastfeeding mother.

36. September, 2008, California: A woman who was breastfeeding her baby in a display glider was told that she could not “do that” by an employee at a Babies R Us store. She tried to continue, but his aggressive staring and shaming made her feel uncomforable so she left.

The only thing the OP did wrong was bowing to the pressure to move. If it were me, and it has been, with all three of my chilfren, I would have just sat there until baby was done. Let them call security or the cops! Unless the store can articulate a reason for her to move, such as – “you are not allowed to feed a baby while sitting on a display item” – she is legally allowed to be there.

When my daughter was 9 months old, I went with my husband to rent a tux. While he shopped, I was invited to have a seat. Baby was fussing, so I proceeded to nurse her. The employee saw what I was doing and said, “Would you like to go in the back?” Taking her words at face value, I said, “No thanks, I’m fine.” She started to walk away, then stopped and said, “I would like you to go in back.” I asked, “Why?” Her answer: “Because I have customers here.” (Yeah, I know, I was one of them.) I said, “Well, I’m not doing anything wrong.” She said, “I didn’t say you were. I just would prefer you go in back.” I said, “I’m fine right here,” and that was the end of it. I finished nursing the baby. (And then I sent a letter to the chain’s head office, but never heard back.)

On the other hand, I was once nursing at Shea Stadium. There were a lot of empty seats so we had sat in a section a little closer to the plate than our actual tickets. Someone bitchy hag nearby kept giving me dirty looks and then started complaining loudly to me and the people around us – she was complaining about the nursing, not about the seat discrepancy, though I think she was pissed about both. She finally called security. Security asked to see my tickets, then told me to leave the seats. Not because of the nursing, but because of the seat assignment issue. I agreed, we went to our assigned section, two sections over, and I finished nursing. I believe I was still within the hag’s vision but she no longer had a leg to stand on.

I brought my lunch into Ethan Allen and started eating at one of their tables and they told me I had to leave. I don’t understand, I was using their table for it’s intended purposes, and I was hungry. I was thinking about actually buying the table too. How am I supposed to know if it’s going to work for me without actually eating at it first?

Breast-feeding is necessary and important and mothers ought to be allowed to feed their babies whenever and wherever necessary. It’s not a sin to breast-feed in public and therefore should not be considered a crime.