Mimi: this ring is nothing

That’s a wrap on Mimi at American Idol auditions! Last night the final search for contestants ended in Oklahoma City. Did it end with a bang? Not really. It ended with a glance, Mariah looking up at another mediocre wannabe, as she does, and having basically nothing to say.

Here’s the thing about Mariah though, she never promised your dreams could come true. Katy Perry, Gaga, Justin Bieber, the modern pop star’s message is very much about how they’ve risen above the exhausting tedium of ordinary life AND they want to take you with them. It’s all about wish fulfillment. This was never the case with Mimi. Her message was basically “I’m gonna sing the f*ck out of this song with my gifted angel voice. Aren’t you lucky that you get to hear that?”

So maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on her for totally sucking as a judge on a contest for overnight stardom? After all, it does seem like she’s tried to put off the whole reality thing as long as possible. It was us who demanded she give it a try so maybe let’s learn from this one. Let’s leave the Janets, Chers, and Beyonces alone to do what they do best, shall we?

Mariah did have her moment last night though, when confronted with a 16 year old mini-Bieber with Cystic Fibrosis. He was completely adorable and after they rolled the b-roll of him attached to life-supporting medical technology the little guy sang his heart out. At the end of his performance he compliments Mimi’s ring, she looks at him and says basically “this ring is nothing, bitch. I’m Mariah Carey”, alluding to some secret diamond closet in her penthouse.

I hope she brings out those diamonds for the next round of AI. I think once the show becomes about putting on a good live show she’ll have more to say because, while sugarcoating insults for hacks is clearly not her forte, killing it on stage is something she knows a lot about!