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Elder sibling admits younger brother better at some things

Surprising new research from Loughborough University has uncovered the first-recorded example of an older brother crediting his younger brother with being better than him at certain activities.

During a routine interview, 40-year-old male Mark Smith admitted that his younger brother Mike, 32, was ‘actually much better than me at a number of things – he routinely beats me at table tennis, for instance’. Mark went on to acknowledge inferiority in other areas, including Fifa 2011, Connect 4, and throwing rolled up bits of paper across the sitting room into a bin circa 1992.

Academics were particularly shocked by the elder brother’s failure to add some form of excuse to his account. ‘It is universally acknowledged that any admission of loss must be qualified with a reason such as a sore toe, hangover, or difficult lighting conditions.’

Also interviewed was the Smiths’ elder brother Pete who explained that ‘they’re both poofs’, before giving the postgraduate researcher a dead arm.