Thursday, April 23, 2009

I'm sitting here drink wine and eating pods...so yes today has not been a great day...it was not as bad as Monday but not great.....so one must do what one can to make one feel better...so as Hubby is off down the pub...I'm home alone with pods & wine...

The other night at YAAD some very lovely ladies offered to take LG for a time, one dear friend offered to take her for the night...now at the time i said no but...now am thinking again...

But....

The thing is....

Would it be a bad thing for me to do...

Would i be seen as a bad mother for giving my child away....even for a night when she is this little?

what would others thinks....

Why the hell am i of all people worried about what others think? but its a hard one don't you think...would you do it?

let some-one else look after your baby for a night...

Now please don't get me wrong these ladies would be more then capable of looking after a baby...of this i have no doubt..but is it something that you can do?

or should do?

God knows i really need a break...i know it's only been 7 weeks but it's been a hard 7 weeks...

If i had lots of money i would hire a nanny..not so that i could go swanning off shopping or having coffee with the girls..but just to have someone who could pitch in and help...take LG when she is screaming...to offer advise on what i could do to help her.....

God i miss the days when we had family that were close and there was the extended family thing....

Now GG (great grandma) is just that...coming over at a drop of a hat...but she does so much for both us and Hubby's brothers family, plus looks after her mum&dad that i feel that to ask too much is to put too much on her plate...

The first time I let someone have Ruby over night was at Kade's mothers and to make it easier, we slept there too.

We went out for dinner and had a nice night and then went and stayed there so that I didnt feel like I was totally leaving it up to someone else.

She was fine.

The other option is to have someone sleep at your place and do the night watch so that you can rest.

I know you will still probably hear but at least you wont feel like you are abandoning her and you will also not have to get up and down all night.

PS. Having said all that, I think that one night away will be more beneficial to her than you think because it will give you a chance to rest which will make you a better, more balanced mum for her when she gets back.

Smoochies to you.

Whatever you do, you are a good mother and no one ever said it was easy.

Feeling guilty about wanting to get away from your daughter in my books actually shows what a wonderful and caring mother you are. Remember that your sanity is paramount in being able to give the care that you want to give. Trying to be everything to everyone is impossible so just aim for a balance that is acceptable to you. Don't let unfounded concerns of what people may or may not think of you affect your decisions - they aren't there with you at 3am night after night and during the day with your bub when she cries so are not in any position to judge. I believe that anyone who has ever had a even a glimpse of what you are going through would applaud you for taking positive action rather than just internalising it all and letting things become worse and worse.

Perhaps begin by not only saying 'yes, thanks' to the offers in whatever form they come but also following up with 'what day suits you' as you whip out your diary and start booking people in. I know it feels better just to have people understand what you are going through and then to offer to help if they can, but now you need to move on to getting some actual relief, like with GG and Jane.

Blessings to you and your little ones. Each day brings you a step closer to all everyone has been praying for you.

About Me

I am a Witch…mother of two, Boy - Bear and girl - DollyGirl. I have two cats and a dog and a husband (thought i should mention him as he asked why didn't he show up on my blog :-)
As a witch i work with Dragons on a daily basis and have recently written a Dragon workshop (which is available to any-one please email me on dragonspiritprincess@yahoo.com.au to receive your copy) my main 4 Dragons have been with me for over 10 years, I do have others that I work with that come and go but these are the 4 main guides. Dragon energy takes some getting used to and you must always remember to treat them with the upmost respect.