Pep talk.

Monday, January 14, 2013

The Year of Sadie

My big goal for this year, I balk at the term 'resolution', is to do more for Me.

It's going to be a year for personal growth and development. It's going to be a year of transformation and change. It's going to be a good year.

This year already, I have signed up for a DietBet, started eating better, kept running-even in the snow, committed myself to systematic giving, and now--Boot Camp.

It's online, through Flylady. I've never done one before, so why not start now?

I was hesitant about the cost. First, I've never done a boot camp before. Second, online? Really? Where's the accountability in that? But...life, and commitment are what you make of them. And if I have time to watch TV, I have time to exercise.

I have committed to running the Bluenose 10Km in May, after teaching myself how to run last summer for the Run for The Cure. After 40 years of HATING running, mainly because I couldn't do it, I ran a whole 5K and lived to tell the tale. What's more, I discovered that I actually ENJOY running and the feeling I get when I stop. So...while I'm not as consistent as I'd like yet; I eventually bought the fancy reflective pants and now actually tell people that "I run".

I am slightly overweight, what we all would call 'average' these days. Nothing I've ever really been concerned about, certainly not concerned enough to diet over. But I DO want to be more healthy. My mother is one of the most Fit people I've ever met. She's 63 years old. I am 41, and until this year couldn't jog a block to chase the bus without passing out. Who doesn't want to be more fit than a retiree? Exactly.

I've also bought a Groupon for a resume consultation service. Since it was on my list to do this spring, it seemed fortuitous to purchase one for 60% off list. We shall see. If it's not as productive as I'm hoping it will be, at least I only paid $67 instead of $250.

I declare this year, the Year of Sadie, officially open for business.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

And so it goes.

I'd been emailing in my posts the past few days, and apparently they've been emailing themselves to my drafts folder, and not to the actual blog. So...one day, when I get around to it, you may get some rather old, rather mundane posts about being out of practice. But likely not. It's one of myriad reasons I gave myself some grace with this resolution business.

Regardless, that brings us to Today.

Have you ever had those days/weeks/months where the world seems to be telling you something?

I get 'a feeling' quite often. Mostly about things like 'self, you should take an umbrella even though the forecast is clear and sunny', or 'you'd best go back and change your shoes for no reason'.

It's taken me decades to learn to listen to my little voice. To follow that feeling. Because inevitably, if I don't--there's a monsoon rain, or I end up taking a 5 mile hike in heels. Seems silly when you say it out loud, but that bit of second sight has served me well in my life.

The last few days the universe seems to be converging to bring me to something. It seems to be something good but only time will tell.

There was a job posting the other day, a job for which I am most certainly qualified. Now, I don't actually WANT this particular job, but feel that I should apply just for practice. Keeping in mind that one of my goals for last year was to apply for 6 jobs and get one offer. I sent out exactly one, very shitty, resume.

DD and I drove to the job location on Saturday past to scope out the opportunity/challenges. The trek was fun, nice little road trip. It took 7 hours, all told. And it reinforced that I have absolutely no desire to move right now. Or negotiate salary, vacation, and benefits. I have a wedding coming up in June, and don't really want to say 'hey, new boss--i'm taking 3 weeks off in the middle of the summer...suck it!'

Anyway...we checked it out. Discussed the challenge. Talked about options and opportunities for both of us. Moved on with life.

Then over the last couple of days things have come to my attention that have me pondering my future course of action.

I've recently become aware of a new charity group rising up in the HRM. One Hundred Women Who Care. I've always harboured a desire to be a philanthropist--just not the means. But in looking over this cause, I can't seem to find a better way to make a BIG difference in my local community. The commitment is $400 over the course of a year. $100 a quarter. Directly to charities that give tax receipts. But we all do it at once, so the charity receives $10,000 (or more!) in one shot. Kind of a nice boost for a local group. I hemmed and hawed for a while, and I just signed up. (While I was going to capture the link up above, actually!)

It's going to be a challenge for me to come up with the cash, but I feel that charity is important, and that the world will provide what is needed when I need it. I probably shouldn't make giving as much of a priority right now, with student loans, credit cards, mortgage, and a wedding to pay for...but I'm so incredibly blessed in my life that I don't see how i CAN't do it now.

One of the many things that has brought me to this (I get back to the point eventually) place is a video I saw the other day --on Facebook, don't judge. It talked about doing what you love. Doing what makes you happy. That life is short. And that you need to seize the opportunities that the world places in your path. The video was viral, but labelled in a funny way. I didn't watch it the first 6 times I saw the link. Then Billy posted it, so I watched. And it gave me pause.

It made me re-evaluate my current perspective. (That perspective has been shape-shifting a lot lately so it's been like weighing the wind.)

Perhaps I should have been counting the signs for you. I'll start now.

Spend a few minutes and watch/listen to that. Then think about it. I know we've all heard the message before...but for some reason, this time...I got it.

Sign #4

I went in to work today on my day off. I was dressed well, as I was going to get my hair done and do some errands after. Also, I like not looking like a slug when I'm not at work. I got several compliments, which was lovely. One person said "where were you? At a job interview?" I laughed and said no. (now, it begins to come together)

Sign #5

I went to get my hair done. My regular stylist, who is AMAZING--both as a person, and as a stylist--was busy, but I really needed a haircut so I booked with another girl. She was nice, but she's no Michelle. :) Michelle came over to talk to me when she'd finished with her client. She looked amazing. Fit, trim, clear skin...just lovely. And she told me she has colon cancer.

She found out in September, had both radiation and chemotherapy through the fall and early winter. She's done her treatments now, and she should find out in the next couple of weeks how successful they were. If all is well, fantastic, she's cancer-free for now. If it didn't go well, full ostomy right away.

Her attitude is amazing. She's incredibly positive. She was open, chatty, and willing to share her news. I only see her every 5 or 6 months, but we worked together for years prior to her leaving to start a new career (9+ years ago!) in hair, so I wouldn't expect her to be that open with her personal stuff--but I guess perspective changes a lot of things.

I admired her openness, and her strength. And her sunshine. She's always been a positive person, but to be going forward so BUOYANTLY toward a future that many would see as filled with bleakness and fear. It reminded me why I love her so much, and pushed me ever closer to a paradigm shift.

Sign #6

Nothing nearly so important. A fortune cookie told me to use my intelligence and charm to get a new job.

Sign #7

Really? I need SEVEN?

So, while I've been contemplating big changes in my life for a good long while now, I'm thinking that soon will come a time for no more contemplation. Soon will be the time for doing...and I really need to figure out what on earth it is that I want to be doing in order to be my best self, and to give my best self to the world.

A whole lot of little things...that add up to one big thing: me making a change. Let's see what shape that change comes in. :) I know that I'm looking forward to the challenge.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Day 2.

Well, here I am again. :) Nice to see somebody noticed!

I went through all the links on my sidebar, and have realized that less than 50% of them are still active blogs. Makes me sad. I have more than a couple hundred blogs in my feed-reader at any one time, and it makes me quite sad when any of them give up the ghost.

There's so many of my favourite reads that don't show up to the party anymore. And it never seems that you get any indication of why. You assume that they're not blogging for the same reasons that you're not blogging... life is too Life-y. Your computer died. Your dog has an ear infection. You're too busy working/cleaning/travelling/sleeping/etc.

And yet you wonder about them. You hope that their daily struggles have eased, and that they'll one day come back and entertain you with their words the way they used to. You hope that these invisible friends will remember that you're there (not that they ever even knew, you lurker!) and come back to tell you WHY they are, for all intents and purposes, ignoring you.

I know life can be life-y sometimes. But maybe, they're just like me...and they just don't know where to start.

I think the best place to begin, is to just jump right in where you are. As Flylady says "You're not behind." And since it's my blog, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. I hope you'll stick around. I've missed you. :)

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Project 365

So Christine is a very talented budding photographer. She's a budding photographer that is doing Project 365 again. She asked on Twitter the other day who was interested in joining her.

I am no photographer, as anyone who's ever seen my photos on this blog can verify. So I decided to do a text-based project of my own.

I know...I've never even successfully done a NABloPoMo. I've been MIA for months on end. And yet...I'm going to try this. Except that I insist on success. ;)

So we'll see what happens, and what evolves.

I'm going to attempt this, but all the best goals are attainable. In order to make this more attainable, I'm going to allow myself 12 days to not blog. That's one per month, for a year. So if I miss one through travel, sickness, pre-occupation (I *AM* getting married this summer!!!), or any other reason, I'm going to cut myself some slack, and not give up entirely.

so.

half-cut. chattin' it up with my sister. the one i never get to talk to. the one that makes me forget capitalization and punctuation. I miss her sooooo much.

anyway.... you should all go visit dennisandsarahgetmarried.blogspot.com if you want to see what's currently up with my life.

I miss blogging. I think about it every day. But i've never told my betrothed. He only showed minimal interest about the wedding blog...but I'm going forward with it. My mom and my sister visit every day. But I'm still very secretive about the personal one. And likely will be forever.

Nobody needs to know that DD is my betrothed. That driving from Edmunston in the middle of the night to sit with me in the ER not only saved my sanity but won my heart. Nobody needs to know that. (but you...)

Truth be told, I miss this blog soooo much. So much, that even half-cut I'm willing to backspace for capitals and punctuation. Many of you will understand that. Those of you that don't, I'm sorry. Illiteracy, it is a demon. Hopefully, one day, you will break free from those shackles that bind you and understand the joy that is words. Words on paper. Words on whitespace. Just plain ol' words.

Christine was at a wedding tonight, and I got to share a few, very occasional, words with her. It made me happy. Tonight has been an amazing night. ...and I am grateful.

Poor D. He's been told over and over again that he is getting a hare lip for Christmas this year.

***********

This was in the drafts folder, I apparently didn't hit enter. Or finish the sentence :) I did not actually buy him an Operation Smile child for Christmas, instead we sponsored a family through the Themba Development organization. Both very good charities doing good work. But I know the director of Themba personally, so I know 100% that the money goes where it is supposed to. More later :)