Seth Rich Died Before Assange Ever Received Hacked DNC Emails. Guess Who That's Not Stopping.

In July of 2016, DNC Voter Expansion Data Director Seth Rich was murdered in what police believe was a robbery gone wrong. Since then, Fox News, Newt Gingrich, Roger Stone, and varied and sundry internet morons have insisted that he was actually murdered on orders from Hillary Clinton or someone working on her behalf because he was the one who sent all of the DNC emails to Wikileaks. This theory was helped along in no small part by Wikileaks' Julian Assange, who offered a reward for finding Rich's killer(s) and repeatedly strongly hinted that Rich -- and not anyone from Russia, as cybersecurity experts determined back in 2016 -- was indeed his source. It's been a weird (and cruel, and sadistic) ride, especially for Rich's parents who would really, really like it if people would stop pushing this bullshit.

And if we lived in saner times, said bullshit would have ended yesterday when the Mueller Report confirmed that Rich could not possibly have been the source for the email leaks on account of him having been dead for four days before Assange received the DNC leaks. Not to mention the fact that Assange continued communication with his source for quite some time after Rich was dead. Given that this communication was done through a computer, rather than through a Ouija board, it is fair to assume that Rich was not leaking information from beyond the grave.

But if there is anything we have learned lo these many stupid, stupid years, it is that when conspiracy theorists are presented with information that contradicts the ridiculous crap they've imagineered, they don't retreat, they reload. So here we are with a bunch of people who are now doubling down on this nonsense. Including several who claim that the Mueller Report actually proves that Seth Rich was the source of the leaks.

None of this is particularly surprising. If someone's whole persona is wrapped up in being one of the only people who sees "the truth" and that "truth" is actually "just some shit they made up," they cannot allow themselves to just be wrong. It would ruin everything and the whole house of cards would come tumbling down. If they admit they're wrong about Seth Rich having been murdered by Hillary Clinton, then they have to wonder if they're wrong about QAnon or the earth being flat or Elvis not really being alive or ... whatever.

If there is a lesson to be learned here, and I believe there is, it is that setting yourself up to be the smartest person in the room is a terrible idea. It's a bad idea if you are stupid enough to believe in things like the Seth Rich conspiracy hoax, for sure, but it's a bad idea even if you are not. Either way, you set yourself up to not be able to just be wrong, which everyone is at some point or another.

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)