oh god why am i so ugly why why why, its not fair, i fall in love with so many beautiful women who are in leagues way way above me, im so sick of it. it hurts.... nothing i can tell myself, nothing anyone can say to me, nothing i can do makes the pain go away. im beyond crying, now i just ge tthis horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomache whenever i think about my horrible horrible life...why is life just so cruel

It doesn't sound like you're falling in "love" with these beautiful women. It sounds like you're being shallow and thinking their beauty is what you love. Sweetheart, that is called lust and is what Romeo felt for Juliet (seriously, it was just at first sight for them). Instead of falling in love with beautiful women, fall in love with a woman's personality. THEN come back to complain.

humbleness,and confidence found through humility, can be very attractive. I met a guy who told me (my bf) "in the end everything grows old 😉but love never dies"lol. find what makes you beautiful first, and you'll most likely reflect it naturally.