I was prepared to dislike the idea, but when I read the note, I thought it was sweet. This is a kid with a medical condition whose parents are trying to let him have some normal childhood experiences without putting the neighbors to a lot of hassle. I would absolutely participate in this, and would probably try to have something extra for Fletcher as well. I usually give out some kind of little toy or stickers along with candy, so I'd happily give that to Fletcher along with his dad's toy.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Creep you out? Truly? That seems a little over the top. I have to say, snowdragon, you almost make it seem like you think all men are dangerous, regardless of context, simply by virtue of their sex. I hope that's not the case.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Creep you out? Truly? That seems a little over the top. I have to say, snowdragon, you almost make it seem like you think all men are dangerous, regardless of context, simply by virtue of their sex. I hope that's not the case.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Given that the man in the letter is obviously familiar with people who are a little bit different, I'm sure you could call him, get his address, and mail the toy back.

I'm going to assume just based on context that you don't participate in Halloween at all... in which case you could simply turn the porch light off and they wouldn't come to your house at all. The guy is obviously conscious of the fact that this is a special circumstance and that he's asking people to do something slightly unorthodox. Chances are he's factored in the loss of a toy or two, and he's not going to purposefully go up to a house and bang on the door when all signs point to someone who isn't participating.

The dad seems like a reasonable guy, so I imagine he would respect the porch light indicator that you aren't participating in Halloween - I doubt he's going to stand there banging on your door demanding Fletcher's 59 cent trinket. And I doubt that he's maintaining a master list of addresses that he sent the letter to, just the ones that told him they didn't want to participate, so he can definitely know to skip those houses and relieve the householder of the bit of plastic. I think it's a great example of a parent taking the responsibility for their child's issues, not expecting the rest of the world to accommodate them.

I completely agree with this.

I agree too. I think Fletcher's dad is taking some chances that some of his trinkets will hit the trash and isn't really expecting anyone to jump through special hoops. If you really wanted to make sure the toy was returned, but did not wish to give up your address, he left a number, and I'm guessing he would be more than happy to provide his address, so someone could drop it off, even leaving it on the porch with no personal contact. He's not expecting anyone to do any footwork, which is why he offered to pick it up, and certainly you could leave the trinket on the porch. Or toss it. Your level of participation is entirely up to you.

Exactly. The guy is bending over backwards to make it easy for everyone for his son to participate in Halloween. I highly doubt he'd put in so much effort if he was a serial killer hunting potential victims.

I would mail the toy back, because I make a point of providing non-edible items to those T&T'ers who can't have candy. Giving it back to the dad means he can send it to another house that doesn't make such provisions.

I'm going to have to say that I think this is one of those situations where you're darned if you do and darned if you don't.

I think that the dad's intent has to be taken into account here, and given the facts, he was as polite and efficient as possible. Some people might prefer a letter to a personal visit from someone they don't know.

No one HAS to call the dad, but if they want to, he will come and remove the item. I don't think he would be terribly upset if someone did just trash it - his letter doesn't present him in that light.

Considering the amount of heart involved, I say to give any possible rudeness a pass.

I think it's really sweet of the dad. He's trying to include his child without making other people jump through too many hoops. It would have been better if he had approached the neighbors he knew on the block and asked them directly. I always give the kids I know an extra piece of candy, and would happily participate in something like this. I probably would have wrapped the toy in some way to make it less obvious that it was a toy instead of candy.

I have a child that doesn't eat. It makes certain holidays very interesting.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Creep you out? Truly? That seems a little over the top. I have to say, snowdragon, you almost make it seem like you think all men are dangerous, regardless of context, simply by virtue of their sex. I hope that's not the case.

I was getting the same feeling honestly.

Honestly, the way snowdragon is constantly ascribing malicious intent to people in her posts it seems like she dislikes people period.

I don't think this guy is going to throw a fit if you don't participate. Sounds like this neighborhood is like mine. There is no way the parents could name who did and did not participate last year. Just too many houses.

My parents provided peanut free candy for neighbors when we moved to Piney Point. They did ask the other parents who normally gave out candy on our block, but that was maybe 10 - 15 houses. Before that the neighbors were life long friends of my Dad long term friends of Mom who were also babysiters and such, so it wasn't an issue.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Creep you out? Truly? That seems a little over the top. I have to say, snowdragon, you almost make it seem like you think all men are dangerous, regardless of context, simply by virtue of their sex. I hope that's not the case.

The dad also says that if you aren't planning to participate then to call him and he'd come pick up the toy, but if a neighbor doesn't want to call, I'm sure he's not going to get bent out of shape if you toss the trinket.

It would be more contact with the neighbor than I want. And if you have to call him then you have to be home to meet this total stranger, I really don't want that. I notice he does not say that they can come to HIS house to drop it off, tho' - I would be able to that late at night when there was NO chance of meeting him.

In that case, you're free to dump it in the trash. You don't "have' to do anything, but if you "want to", the Dad has provided his contact information. The bolded almost makes it sound like you're ascribing some sort of malicious or predatory intent to this guy who just wants his son to have a normal Halloween experience.

I would not trust a guy I don't know to come to my house. The entire thing would creep me out entirely. Nowhere in the letter does he say you can toss the toy. I would think that if you don't return it they will be expecting you be participating ( as in only going to house that did not return it) . So keeping it would be wrong - and setting the kid up to think this was a house he'd get a toy at, when that was not so.

Creep you out? Truly? That seems a little over the top. I have to say, snowdragon, you almost make it seem like you think all men are dangerous, regardless of context, simply by virtue of their sex. I hope that's not the case.

I was getting the same feeling honestly.

Honestly, the way snowdragon is constantly ascribing malicious intent to people in her posts it seems like she dislikes people period.

Interesting Assumption. I think that people should leave total strangers alone, especially in their homes. His concern is for his kid's being able to participate in something - and providing the toy is the way to get the most people to go along. There is nothing that makes me believe he is doing any of this to make it easier for the neighbors. If he were going to do things to make life easier for the neighbors, he would have only approached the neighbors he knows, not complete strangers. There are other ways to make sure his kid participates and stays on his diet, without involving people who don't know you.

But all people are going to remain strangers until someone actually speaks to another person. I really don't understand the point to the whole, How dare anyone talk to me if I don't already know them? attitude. If someone is bothering you, yes that's a problem, if they are intruding on your life, yes that's a problem. But this is one innocuous note which is easily tossed out along with whatever other spam mail is received.

I haven't "done Halloween" in several years -- this neighborhood gets little to no trick-or-treat action, and I tend to be away from home that night anyway.

However, if I were in a position to participate but was on the fence, this would make me want to do it, because Fletcher should have a Halloween, and because his dad's thoughtfulness (for his son and for the neighbors) should be rewarded.

Honestly, the way snowdragon is constantly ascribing malicious intent to people in her posts it seems like she dislikes people period.

Interesting Assumption. [/b]I think that people should leave total strangers alone, especially in their homes. His concern is for his kid's being able to participate in something - and providing the toy is the way to get the most people to go along. There is nothing that makes me believe he is doing any of this to make it easier for the neighbors. If he were going to do things to make life easier for the neighbors, he would have only approached the neighbors he knows, not complete strangers. There are other ways to make sure his kid participates and stays on his diet, without involving people who don't know you.

[/quote]

To be perfectly honest, snowdragon, I've gotten the same feeling from many of your posts. If often seems as if you immediately jump to the worst possible explanation for people's actions, assume the worst of them, and attribute the most nefarious possible motives to them, even when there's nothing pointing to malicious intent, and indeed, there are several other, more straightforward and more benign explanations as to their behavior.

Logged

"Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies DO divert me, I own- and I laugh at them whenever I can." -Jane Austen