don't walk around the block beforehand
don't look at that white lighter on the street
don't wonder if it's out of fluid
probably is of course
they are going to love you so
wash your hands every time it comes to mind
and stay out of the sun because
a deep tan attracts too many unwarranted q's
sometimes my poet feels like a plank
clinging to the shade in Valencia
walking straight into the doors of an elementary school
like "normal" barbie, woman-student barbie
not bending
and definitely don't write anything about your experience
on the internet or even in a notebook
because you never know where it might end up

For example, thousands of students compete in the kite festival to watch him.
These students, besides faring well in general, may not understand

Though the Uyghurs live in the mountains peacefully, meditation is the perfect
time to do this.

........

i’m sitting in the faux marble floor common room in my liu xue sheng su she shaoyuan home liu hao lou. when i rub my eyes i’m riding my bike home from workthrough Greenpoint. the night is windy and black with flecks of glass and my black t-shirt is wet from dishesand reeking from kitchen smoke. my boots are slippery and worn thin, i can feel the pedals through their solesmy bare legs are covered in coffee and juice streaks everything is slippery and hot and wet and sticky in the wind.i’ve already forgotten what the sandwiches are called and what’s in them.they couldn’t possibly still exist.

if i squint i can taste what it was like to go back to our hot futon, riding
under the overhead tracks and the furniture stores and the dollar stores and
the supermarket and the middle school and the garage with all the shirtless men
and their four wheelers. it was scared and blank and loud and dirty.my bike is light purple. it couldn’t possibly still exist.

new york is just as exotic
as Beijing there is no staying clean or
feeling animated in the summer when you work all day then you
go home to shower and don’t want to move and your boyfriend comes home much
later when he gets off of work at one am and you’re already asleep but worrying
about him and he gets home and watches a tv show on his laptop which is
agitating and meaningless your kitten attacks your arm needs feeding you live in a railroad apartment and there is no where in it you want to be but
you don’t want to be outside because the city requires you buy things that is
entertainment making statements about a culture

or about anything

makes you feel smart

i haven’t had any clear view on reality

for months now

actually i probably never have

and no one else ever has

it’s all just making containers for the sake of sanity

i miss high school

can you imagine being run down by someone in all black with a long knife

something fratty this way comes...

i see such darknessa fire with no lightkeeps getting stuckin my mindthank you for thateveryone is talking about ithow do we help eachother out of this pit?the character forsmall is a pictogram of three grains of sand. xiao. Ifit in my compactsome things neverchanges. some thing never changeI made an iTunesplaylist namedCalm. so far it isonly Chopin Best Ofand Michael HurleyI still hear that song asshe understandsblue mountainsand I still hear Chopinas I did xiao de shi houwhen my mom wasteaching danceclasses in our livingroom and I wasthinking of howbees tell each otherwhere the goodflowers are bydancing.Hey Person

the wordfor flower and theword for to spendare the
same. hua.

I first was acquainted with twitch in sant'antiocowhich is interesting, kale, cos it really remindsme of anegeda cow wreck bite bitch deathand because you're twitchan italian comic book for tween witchesit was so good and i just remembered it

Cross my finger tips for writing song

I changed my city I changed my country home

Sometimes you need to make contact

Bella lugosis back he's back he's back

Keep it compact keep it minimal

Some thing never change

Ren tai duo

Ni zhi huo yi ci
(you only live once)

I like to take my sweet time
Refrain from buying cigarettes
Refrain from writing about cigarettes
Refrain from noting how I hold my cigarette cupped invisibly in my right hand
hanging at my side as I walk past the school guards and realize its good
because it makes a small carburetor in my right hand and it is so cold outside
Wo zui xiang one day I have something to talk about
some true black meat
It's all around me
Be self-disciplined
What the fuck does that mean
I'm dreaming of a cuter coffin and trying to convince myself it matters
I could be anywhere right now
Poetry is tailing me and makes me see things that aren't there
I could be anywhere
Not reading, not writing, not working, just walking around charring my insides
Being followed by some thing that doesn't exist
I'm basically a single-cell organism wearing clothes
Haunted by boys that don't exist
This is not a xiu xi because I am actively making myself feel bad and actively
not preparing for the next moment
A meeting with autumn fruit in 10 minutes

Poetries hard walls....? The hard wallsof poetry...? The apple? Sophisticated Susan
dolls made in rehab? The video of Simi and Duffy and then the window opens with
candles stuck in sriracha bottles sitting in the grate and there is no one
there but I was expecting J K to be there.

Always on gaurd there is no free

Toy Apple Beauty
What does an apple mean
Apples are everywhere to tell us we're on the right track
When I think about the linoleum floor and twin bed next to the window I know
there weren't any apples there
And my husband an hour away in the snow covered city
I thought I was cheating on him in my sleep
I fall in love so easily
But I should be looking for someone who gives me apples