Vayishlach(Genesis 32:4-36:43)

Worry Makes The World Go Round

Most of the top 10 prescription drugs are for worry and/or its related symptoms (Med Ad News 1999 ]609-530-0044]).

That's just the visits to the doctor, the rest of the time isn't spent twiddling our thumbs. The average person doesn't work for anything in particular except to be free of worry.

Poor people think money will cure them of worry, rich people think being healthy will free them, healthy people worry about the future, parents worry about their children, children worry that their parents don't drive them crazy with their worry. It never stops.

An awful lot of people make a living out of your worry. The pharmaceutical industry, banking and insurance, for starts. If people didn't worry they had enough food, a lot of farmers could sleep in. That also goes for clothing - don't want to be caught with not enough underwear in case a world war breaks out, do you? Then there's the auto industry selling the latest model which you don't need except for the fact that your present car has you worried it might break down in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

And you live in Michigan!

Now, I'm sure you are thinking that these are all legitimate worries, and having enough batteries, candles, toilet paper and an oversized fallout shelter, just may come in handy.

And they might.

But having all of them, and 20 more never stopped anyone from worrying. Worry doesn't have a price tag, it's a disease.

We all know people who worry more than us, and we can all see how self destructive and pointless it is. It's like worrying you might get sick, you might save yourself from any particular disease, but the worry is killing you! The same could be said for people (not uncommon) who worry they won't enjoy themselves. Does anyone notice the contradiction here. Let me spell it out, you would enjoy yourself a lot more if you stopped worrying! I can't tell you how many brides and grooms worry at their own wedding that everyone is having a good time, not noticing that the guests are not having a good time because they know the "happy couple" can't relax.

Worry is a disease, but it can't be cured through any medicated cream or herbal tea. The good news is, it can always get worse, you can always worry more than you are now. The bad news is, unless you work on it, you will!

* * *

A BRIEF HISTORY OF WORRY

God tells Adam, because he ate from the fruit he shouldn't have, "By the sweat of your brow you will eat bread." (Genesis 3:19) Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch the preeminent German Rabbi of the 19th century points out, believing this to mean "hard work" is a common mistake. If that were the verses' meaning, then a better phrase would have been the sweat of your back. Rather, the brow means worry.

If one thinks of the human body as a machine, then clearly worry is not in the original design specifications. It's an added feature (excuse my cynicism). The car was made for groceries and now you are hauling cement, something has to give. Man wasn't designed to worry, it's not in our DNA, we can't handle it, we fall apart, literally. In car manufacture parlance, it voids the warranty.

You may worry you don't have what to live with, but if you worry, you won't live.

* * *

RELAX, TAKE A NAP

Of all the characters in the Torah, the one whom we see sleeps the most is Yaacov. Lest you think he always needed his eight hours, the Midrash tells us, Yaacov had remarkable strength and could go for long periods of time without sleep. When the Torah tells us Yaacov slept, it's telling us this is one of the few times he actually slept and that it didn't happen very often.

How rather unusual then to find, that in the middle of one of Yaacov's greatest crises, in facing his greatest adversary, where he himself is "very frightened and distraught" (Genesis 32:8) Yaacov decides to take a nap! (Genesis 32:14)

Why now?

Because Yaacov knew he had a bigger enemy to beat, one that takes no prisoners, holds no bars, suffers no pity or mercy. Who is relentless and constant.

Worry.

* * *

IN SUM

The famous book of Jewish ethics, The Way of the Righteous (Orchat Tzadikim), tells us, "Who is the one who is never free of worry? The one who has a goal that is too high for himself."

In other words, because we have goals that are way out of range of what we can practically achieve, we are constantly spinning our wheels and never finding solace in any real, meaningful accomplishments.

However, this is only part of the answer. I asked Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt"l, how can a person know what goal is too high? Imagine if Einstein's mother had chastised his son for picking a goal way too high. Einstein wanted to figure out the Unified Field Theory. He wanted to understand how all the laws of physics related to each other, in other words, it would explain how everything works together (not bad).

Not that I am a physicist or anything, but I could have told him: it doesn't.

Just joking, I think.

Anyway, Einstein didn't get it, but along the way he came up with some pretty nifty stuff about relatives and of course he knew what "E" stood for.

Entertainment Weekly.

Up until Einstein everyone thought "E" stood for Elephants because it was in that kids' song.

Anyway, imagine if his mother would have said, "Albi!" That's what his mother used to call him, "Albi, forget about everything, I'm fed up with you trying to figure out everything, I need a washing machine. And, Albi, for crying out loud, will you get a hair cut, you look like a floor mop. Why can't you look like Sigmund, you know, he's one of our relatives."

And that is how Einstein (Albi) came up with his theory of relativity.

* * *

IN SUM, REALLY

So Rabbi Weinberg said, there is only one goal that is too high for a human being.

To be God.

Picture the scene, you are on a plane, in the air, the guy sitting next to you is white knuckling it. You turn to him and say, "You can relax now, we've taken off."

He answers, "No I can't, I'm keeping the plane in the sky!"

He wants to be God.

He wants to control the outcome.

With everything in life, there is a line that beyond which there is nothing more you can do. On this side of the line is you, on the other is God. Cross that line and you are going to need valium.

Yaacov knew his line. Once he got there, he took a nap, it's now up to God.

Even if you don't believe in God, there still is a line.

If you want to live long, and more importantly if you really want to live during the years you are existing, understand and respect your line.

Worry may make the world go round, it's just going to be in the wrong direction.

* * *

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1: What do you worry about the most?

Question 2: Where is the line on those things you worry about?

Assignment: Take easy things and work your way up, before you start a new endeavor, ask yourself, where is the line and force yourself to stop before you cross it. Keep in mind, you need to figure out the line before you start. Once you start it's much more difficult to be sensitive to where the line is.

Visitor Comments: 11

(11)
Anonymous,
December 5, 2014 11:21 AM

Worrie is just a Symptom

Worry is just a symptom. The underlying disease is usually discontent.

Usually.

(10)
Anonymous,
November 17, 2013 5:31 AM

What, ME worry?

A friend of mine worries incessantly. One day I called her because I had something I needed to worry about. "How much an hour would you charge me to worry about something?" She was insulted! Seriously, she was the biggest worry wart I knew and I'm really lousy at worrying.In 2008, I lost my life's savings, thanks to a bank and Wall Street. But I still had my Social Security and two other members of my family live with me, so I could still enjoy my two favorite luxuries: Eating and living indoors. So what was to worry about?Okay, so I can't buy some of the things I would like to buy, like having a decent wardrobe. Some people have a problem with what I wear. It is THEIR problem, not mine because I like me and if all I can afford are scrubs from Goodwill (I used to work in a hospital's operating room) then I will wear them...everywhere... because those are the only things in my current wardrobe.I feel sorry for those people who are always so concerned with the way they look that they don't have the time to be concerned about others. When someone who is usually at services, they are not concerned that they could be ill or on a vacation or what. The only way to find out is to ask someone or call them. What good is life if you don't care about others?A few days ago at a meeting, three women were talking about the trips they've taken to Europe and Israel. One of them, knowing my financial situation, asked when the last time I had visited Israel. I just grinned and said 2020. Poor gal didn't quite know what to think.Having been only 7 when Israel was founded, obviously I couldn't go then and I'm way too old for the freebie visits that kids get today, but again, I'm not worried about that; I support Israel in every way I can and love all Jews. What's so wrong with that? People don't need money for that, do they?

(9)
Anonymous,
November 15, 2013 1:44 AM

I have made it a policy in life to not worry. It brings so many other problems to health and darkens happiness. Most of these things were not anything I could do anything to change. In reading this, though, I realized I can now worry about my undies as they are something I can change. As for the rest I can pray.

(8)
Laya,
November 28, 2012 5:19 AM

so great

So many insights in these columns, thank you SO much!!!

(7)
Anonymous,
November 20, 2010 11:41 AM

Will apply work like as if all depends on you and then pray like if all depends on God ?

(6)
Anonymous,
November 20, 2010 3:29 AM

How do you know where the line is? How can one decipher when to stop and let God take over.

(5)
Anonymous,
November 18, 2010 4:43 PM

histerical

amazing insight, crucial to our lives and histerical

(4)
Anonymous,
November 16, 2010 8:53 PM

Good job!

(3)
Anonymous,
November 16, 2010 2:06 PM

It was written so one could understand good job.

(2)
Anonymous,
November 9, 2010 1:53 PM

Extraordinary insight! Thank you!

(1)
Anonymous,
December 9, 2008 11:22 PM

Rabbi Baars I always find your articles so enlightening and I look forward every week! Thank You

About the Author

Originally from London, Rabbi Stephen Baars resides in Washington D.C. and serves as Executive Director of Aish Seminars. He did nine years of post-graduate studies at the Aish HaTorah Rabbinical College in Jerusalem, and has been an educator and marriage counselor for the past 20 years. He is creator of the BLISS seminar, which was awarded a Federal Grant to help reduce the divorce rate in Washington DC. He studied and performed comedy in Los Angeles, and is known for imparting important ideas with creativity and humor. Rabbi Baars and his wife, Ruth, are blessed with seven children.