VivaDivaGlam.comLong Lives the Glamour that transforms every woman into a Diva!2015-02-24T09:44:19Zhttp://www.vivadivaglam.com/feed/atom/WordPressDolapo aka SongbirdDivahttp://www.VivaDivaGlam.comhttp://www.vivadivaglam.com/?p=81812015-02-24T09:44:19Z2015-02-24T09:43:11ZAs a child born in the ’80s and experiencing elementary school in the ’90s, I’ve heard more than my fair share of the word ugly directed at me from classmates, but I remember even back then thinking to myself, “why do they think I am ugly?” I went to a parochial school consisting of 99.99% of African American children where we all wore a uniform, so although we all dressed a like and we were all relatively neat for the most part, why was I singled out as ugly? It was bad enough that I had to deal with the criticism of having a “weird” name that even the teachers would butcher at times and that I was from a country in Africa so they thought that I swung on trees like Tarzan or had a pet gorilla like Caesar from Planet of the Apes, but to be called ugly on top of that…I always wondered why?

Granted, growing up back then in my school there was a inner-racial divide between light skin and dark skin girls. The light skin girls were considered pretty (and if they had silky hair that was an extra feather in their cap), the brown skin girls were considered average, but the dark skin girls were considered ugly for the most part. I specify girls because we were the ones that had to measure up to the melanin barometer. The boys, even at a young age were held to a different standard. The boys just had to be moderately attractive but have a great personality or a little charisma (class clowns or bad boys) and they would get the attention of the “pretty” girls.

When you are a young girl in your formative years, being called ugly (for whatever reason) can have a devastating affect on your self esteem. You start to compare yourself to the “pretty” girls and wonder why God didn’t create you to be “pretty” too. You start to wonder what you can change about yourself so that you can be considered “pretty” too. When you are in elementary school, there really isn’t much you can do physically to change, so you change what you can and that is your attitude. I remember being a pleasant and happy child, but there is only so much ugly a young girl can take before hardening her heart. I became tough and cold with mega attitude. If you were going to call me ugly, I was going to show you ugly, but with my attitude; from swearing like a sailor to hitting below the belt with insults to make sure that at the end of it, you felt worse than I did…so that brings me to the question, What is ugly?

So many people refer to the word ugly when they are describing a person’s physical appearance, but I think that is a disservice to the word itself and the evidence of an insecure mind. Why does someone have to be physically ugly in order for another person to feel better about themselves. I can honestly say that I have never seen a person that is physically ugly, granted a person may not be physically attractive to me and I may not be physically attractive to some, but that doesn’t make me or that person ugly. We are not all attracted to the same things physically (thank God!), but just because you may not be attracted to someone, what gives you the right to assault another person’s physical appearance by calling them ugly? That word is so full of vitriol and venom that it should never be used to describe a person physically!

The reality is that no one created themselves. I’ve realized that when you call another person ugly, you are not just insulting that person, you are insulting that person’s creator. If you are a spiritual person like myself, then you understand that you are insulting God and His handiwork! If we all created ourselves then maybe we would have changed little things that we consider imperfections, but because God created us, He created us the way that we are for a reason and in His eyes we were created perfect and beautiful.

So, what is beautiful? I believe that we also do a disservice to the word when we limit the use of the word beautiful to a person’s physical appearance. A person can be physically attractive, but does that make the person beautiful? I don’t think so. Think about it… have you ever seen a person that you thought was “beautiful”, but had such a terrible attitude that you no longer recognized the person’s “beauty”? I have. On the other side of the coin, have you ever spent time with someone that you may not have originally thought of as physically attractive, but the person had such a beautiful spirit that the more time you spend with the person the more attractive the person becomes? I have, so that goes to show me that the words ugly and beautiful when referring to a person should really be used to describe a person’s character, personality, and/or spirit/aura.

If a person has an ugly personality, that is something that the person can change if they wanted to through the right steps because it is something that they had a hand in creating, but if you deduce a person’s physical description to this four letter word (ugly), you are attempting to anihilate their spirit over something that they had nothing to do with.

If after reading this you still feel like it is still okay to call someone ugly because of their physical appearance, remember no one created themselves so I suggest that you submit a formal complaint about that person’s so called “ugliness” to their creator, GOD… and really ask yourself who is really the ugly one; that person or you?!

Keep in mind that society’s standard of physical attractiveness if you are blessed with long life can fade over time, but true beauty (a beautiful heart, character, soul, spirit) is forever.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139 13-14

xoxo,

SBD4L

P.S.

If I could speak to elementary school Dolapo, I would tell her that firstly, no one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent! 2) To God, you are perfect! 3) Your husband is going to be gorgeous inside and out and truly thinks that you are too so who cares what these dumb kids have to say lol! 4) Life is bigger and will be a lot better than where you are now 5) Hold on to the Lord and enjoy the ride

What would you say to your younger self?

]]>0Dolapo aka SongbirdDivahttp://www.VivaDivaGlam.comhttp://www.vivadivaglam.com/?p=81342015-01-08T19:03:38Z2015-01-08T18:52:10ZHey divas & gents, I know that it has a been a while since I did an outfit post for you so here is a quick one…

It’s been ridiculously cold here in NYC so this is my basic uniform for dressing warm & chic at the damn same time lol. It’s pretty simple actually. You can pretty much keep everything else simple if you have a fabulous coat! Faux fur has really come a long way so if you don’t have a faux fur coat in your wardrobe right now, then what are you waiting for? It adds instant glamour & warmth to any outfit.

Hey divas, I just wanted to take a moment to wish all of you a Happy & Prosperous New Year!!!

The great thing about a new year is that it represents a new start, a fresh slate, a second chance…which is why many people use January 1st as a date to start anew, but before starting a fresh, I truly believe that certain things have to come to an end and be left behind.

2014 was a somewhat difficult year for me. I battled depression in many areas. Some days were so bad that I basically tried to sleep my way through them. I wouldn’t take a shower for days and just wanted to sleep. I felt like at least if I slept, I wouldn’t feel so sad all the time. The thing with depression is that it doesn’t need a big event to trigger it. It can be something so small and miniscule that when you are in the throws of depression, you are not even sure how you got there in the first place or how to make it out. Believe it or not, it is possible to be depressed for so long that you actually find some sort of comfort in it.

Depression is such a sneaky little bastard!…(to get a little religious with some of you, it is an agent of the devil!). The Bible says that the devil comes to steal, kill, & destroy! The thing that many people that battle depression don’t realize in the midst of it is that it does all 3!

1) It is a THIEF! It steals valuable time from your life that you can’t get back. Each day that you spend depressed is a day that no matter how hard you try, you can’t get back! It can make you miss out on valuable opportunities needed for the progression of your life!

2) It’s a KIILER! It kills your joy…there are certain times when a person is depressed that they can’t even see the blessings surrounding them. They can’t fully experience the true joys & pleasures of accomplishments of self and/or others. It can kill your dreams because if you are deeply depressed you start to feel like all is lost and nothing is worth fighting for.

3) Last but not least, depression is also a DESTROYER! It can destroy relationships. Your relationship with God, yourself, and the people that you love. I thank God for my family and friends that consistently encouraged me during my dark times, especially my husband! He has been there for me and has been very understanding and encouraging throughout these bouts. He has seen me down, broken, and dejected but has always looked at me with nothing but love in his eyes…for this I am truly grateful because I know that it takes a certain kind of man (a man after God’s heart) to love you even when they have seen you at your lowest and ugliest.

I’m sharing my heart with you just to give you a little insight into what I have dealt with last year and what I plan to leave in 2014 by God’s grace…depression! So many of you have asked me where I’ve been when I wasn’t making videos, some of you have even sent me emails to check up on me and encourage me, and so many of you get really excited and are genuinely happy to see me when I do post a video that I just want to take the time to say, Thank You! I always say that people often don’t realize how a smile or a positive comment can impact a person’s day. So many of you have put a smile on my heart during my darkest moments by leaving a sweet comment on a video or blog post when I needed it most.

Now, saying that I am going to leave depression in 2014 without having a concrete plan to do so is pretty ridiculous. Like any change in life you have to first make a decision, then you have to have a plan if you want it to stick (ex. If you want to lose weight, you have to first decide in your heart to do so, then make a plan to eat right & exercise). I’ve decided that this year 2015 has to be better! I’ve dealt with depression for so many years that I have come to the decision that enough is enough! I wasn’t depressed as a child, it was actually quite the opposite, but after a few traumatic experiences depression started to creep in, but like I said, enough is enough! I choose to leave depression behind and progress with life and enjoy it! I can’t keep doing the same things and expecting different results (they say that is the definition of insanity!). Besides drawing even closer to The Lord, I’ve decided to start seeing a therapist just so that I can get to the root of what causes the depression and also so that I can have a neutral, non judgmental party that I can unleash my innermost thoughts to, that can give me the strategic tools on how to recognize it, deal with it, and conquer it.

By God’s grace & mercy, 2015 will be a glorious year for all of us as long as we are willing to leave certain things behind and have a plan on how to make the change that we want stick!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I wish you nothing but good things in 2015!

Today I’ll keep it short and to the point. Hubby and I decided to go to one of our favorite Japanese restaurants and hang out afterwords with no particular destination in mind. Sometimes I think that it is great to be a wanderlust because that is when you open yourself up to discover things and places that you’ve never seen or noticed before. I always feel a jolt of excitement when I come across little neighborhoods or cozy shops in my city because being a true New Yorker like myself, sometimes you can get a little jaded and feel like there is nothing else to see, but if you just give yourself the opportunity to wander, you will be surprised with how many things you see everyday but never took the time to notice.

Crop Blouse- Zara

Necklace- Forever 21; Belt- Asos

High Waist-ed Shorts & Clutch- Zara

Sandals- Yves Saint Laurent

]]>0Dolapo aka SongbirdDivahttp://www.VivaDivaGlam.comhttp://www.vivadivaglam.com/?p=80372014-08-21T12:47:16Z2014-08-21T12:47:16ZHey divas,
I recently went to hang out with a few friends and grabbed some dinner along the way. Here is my Casual Dinner with Friends Get Ready with Me video…

Have you ever looked at your closet overflowing with clothes and still said to yourself, “I have nothing to wear?” If so, check out my video below to see the causes and some solutions on how to conquer your “I Have Nothing to Wear Blues”…

(Please watch in HD when possible)

I hope this video was helpful to you. What are some ways that you conquer your “I Have Nothing to Wear Blues?”

Here is another Get Ready with Me video that I recorded over the weekend while getting ready to go to a friend’s wedding. The wedding was hosted outside in a large beautiful garden in Long Island. I’m normally not a fan of outside weddings, but this one was intimate, fabulous, and beautiful with about 100 guests (100 guests for a wedding is intimate to me lol). I decided to wear a floral dress because what could go better in a garden besides flowers? lol.

Anyway here is my Get Ready with Me video, sorry about the quality of the pictures. They were taken after I got back home towards the end of the day because I didn’t have the time to take them before I left.

I’m on a roll right? (lol) Here is another Get Ready with me video just for you.

Yesterday hubby and I went to the movies because he has been saying that he wanted to see “Lucy” since he saw the trailer. I am not really into science fiction myself, but he loves it. The movie was okay, it just seemed to me that the further along it went, the less and less it made any sense (which is why I am not really into sci-fi in the first place)!

]]>2Dolapo aka SongbirdDivahttp://www.VivaDivaGlam.comhttp://www.vivadivaglam.com/?p=79542014-08-06T04:33:28Z2014-08-06T02:35:20ZHey divas, I know that it has been a while since I have done a makeup tutorial, so I figured that since I am back into the groove of making videos again…how could I not start making makeup tutorials? Don’t get me wrong, I love making Get Ready with Me videos where you do see me apply my makeup for the day, but I do know that some of you really do appreciate the makeup tutorials that I talk through explaining exactly what is happening. Because of that I will be posting makeup tutorials at least once, but possibly twice a week, so if you have any requests for a tutorial definitely let me know.

Posting makeup tutorials was one of the things that I started my channel on, granted my old videos are quite laughable to me now, but at least I can say that I have come quite a way lol! Thank God for YouTube right? We can now basically learn almost anything by the click of a track pad. There was a moment that I lost my passion for makeup, but I feel like I am being inspired and falling in love all over again. They say that if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then you know that it is real…well the passion for makeup has made her way back home and all that I can say is, I’ve missed you