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Monday, February 10, 2014

I Gave My Dog an Orange (Plus a Few Other Things) and You Won't Believe What Happened

There used to be a time when the dogs never got people food in my house*. Well, except for baby carrots -- who withholds baby carrots from a dog with pleading eyes like Jon Farleigh and Dewi's? Not me, that's who. Anyway, (mostly) because we were trying to avoid the problematic begging dog at the table -- with the exception of the occasional raw veggie -- human food handouts were off limits. Good times, those days.

Please oh please, get in my belly.

Then one day I peeled a clementine (aka Cuties®, Halos®). (Note: I never used to buy clementines before they were marketed as Cuties.) I suppose it was the first time I'd ever done that in front of the dogs, because for some cockamamie reason (as my previous dog -- and only other canine reference point -- had been adverse to the taste of all foods grown from soil), Jon Farleigh and Dewi got a whiff of that delicate citrus bouquet, became spellbound, and looked at me with an intensity that I had only previously seen when cracking open a can of stinky cat food. What the fudge?!

After about 11 peeled clementines over a few days (and by now, not only longing looks, but accompanying strings of drool from both dogs), I decided, what's the harm? Just like I know that coffee smells WAY better than it tastes (black), what better way to cure those dogs of begging for my clementines than to give them a taste? Bitter apple, anyone? Yeah, there was NO WAY they would ever beg for citrus after that.

Excuse me, it is my birthday. Could you spare a dime...sized dollop of that thing you are eating?

Except that they loved it. Slurped down those clementine wedges like oysters on the half-shell (which I won't eat, by the way, but happen to have a hunch that they would). And neither I, nor my my human family members, have ever been able to eat one in peace since.

I will also have you know that since I caved on the clementines, we have broken our "no-share people food" rule a few other times (in moments of extreme fatigue [Cheez-Its®], guilt that the cat was getting treated better than the dogs [bacon, roast beef and chicken], or at times when my husband thought it would be manly cute to let the dog lick the empty [save for a few drops] beer bottle). (Note: Not an exhaustive list.)

That slipper isn't even food, but I would greatly love to eat it.

So now? Human meals and snacks are a whole lot livelier around here most days. And, oh yeah, dogs can't read, so if the thing merely sounds like a rattling Cheez-It bag from across the house (e.g., Frosted Mini-Wheats®, frozen Eggo® waffles, box of brown sugar)? Let's just say the resulting conversations (with dogs) have been interesting. ☺

Hello. I heard you playing the Cheez-It song. Mind if I join you?

Have you ever caved in and shared something with your dog(s) that has since made your life "livelier"?

Second note (for other blog writers): See that title? Yeah, I wrote it that way as an experiment -- to see whether the "experts" on blog writing are correct in saying that that style of (trending) headline gets lots of attention. My original title was: "I Gave My Dog an Orange and Now I Can't Eat One in Peace." I think I can predict -- based on my own mental inclinations -- how this experiment is going to play out. By the way, I am NOT a fan of manipulative headlines (so don't expect to see me going over to the "dark side" any time soon).

Rita is like my Molly was. I could've given her a bucket of meat (hypothetically) with a green bean (or apple slice, etc.) hidden in it, and she'd eat every morsel EXCEPT the bean. Who knew dogs' tastes could vary so greatly!

Don't make me get ugly

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