Is Marriage Only for White People?

I wanted to mention the importance of the Washington Post article from last week entitled Marriage Is for White People, by Joy Jones (a black woman). While teaching a class of young black students, she was asking what they wanted to be when they grew up. One boy responded "I want to be a father." She mentioned that they being married and having children is a great goal, to which he responded something along the lines of "oh no, I don’t want to be married, just a father." Another boy in her class remarked that he thought "marriage was for white people." Terrible stuff.

Joy’s article discusses the the decline in marriage in the black community, and the value system that has arisen behind it – one where sex, marriage, and parenthood are seen as a la carte items, not one package. And where black women are now more often self-sufficient and responsible, they are not willing to marry a man who is not able to contribute financially or emotionally – and a greater number of black males fit that description.

Many poverty analysts are now correctly pinning the main cause for poverty in the black American community not on slavery or institutional racism, but on the absentee and irresponsible fatherhood, and a cultural value system that is antisocial* and anti-virtue (hard work, sacrifice, honesty, abiding by law, respect for authority, etc.).

* refusal to integrate into mainstream society by maintaining separate language and customs.

15 Responses

It's fascinating that seeker decries this lack of responsibility in blacks while simultaneously attacking gays for WANTING that very same responsibility. Gays WANT to integrate into mainstream society by abandoning separate language and customs and embracing marriage, but seeker seeks to deny them that right. A very strange man.

Saying it doesn't make sense is hardly enough Seeker. Louis is right – you criticize blacks for abandoning traditional values while insisting that gays mustn't be allowed to share in traditional values. What gives?

No, seeker, it's just that we con't swallow whole the christianist hetero community's perception of what is or is not a worthy value. In fact, many of us think you xianists are the main danger to our community now. And particularly, bigots like you.

That's strange, Louis… I'd figure the biggest danger to your community to be education or morality… or AIDS… not Seeker. And what's all this talk about Christianist Zionist Heteroist Evilists? LOL. Did you forget to wear your tinfoil hat today? Funny guy.

seeker, why can you not write about something other than gay issues? Are you obessesed with gay people? Seriously, this is what always happens – most often to seeker. He post on something unrelated to homosexuality, but it gets turned into a discussion on that in the comments. Don't make the claims that he focuses too much on gay issues anymore, when topics like this get forced into that realm.

If Seeker wouldn't open himself up to these sorts of questions – decrying the lack of fatherhood while opposing the possibility that gays and lesbians can be parents – he provides those of us with the opportunity to question this base hypocrisy. And I keep coming back to homosexuality because this is where Seeker is at his outright cruelest. Or, to hear him tell it, his outright lovingest.

decrying the lack of fatherhood while opposing the possibility that gays and lesbians can be parents The problem is, Sam is trying to establish a link between these subjects, but not doing it clearly because he is too busy making accusations. Thanks to Cineaste for making something clear out of it. I have not gone on record as being against gay adoption (I don't think ;), though I've expressed concern that this is tantamount to allowing children into other less-than-optimal situations, like a single parent home. But while gay adoption might be an interim solution for unwanted black (or other) children, the real problem is that fathers need to take responsibility for their children, or not have them at all.

OK SEEKER IF U HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT GAY PPL PUT IT UNDER A GAY QUETION NOT IS MARRAGE 4 WHITE PPL!!! CAUSE DUDE IF U HAVE A PROBLEM WIT GAY PPL I GOT A PROBLEM WIT U!! CAUSE I HAVE GAY PPL IN MY FAMILY OK… EVEN THO IM STRAIGHT I STILL THINK IF UR GAY UR GAY IF A MAN IS HAPPY WITH A MAN U CAN'T HELP IT AT LEAST THEIR HAPPY!!!SAME WITH TWO WOMAN!!! MY THING IZ "IF TWO PPL R IN LOVE NO MATTER WAT GENDER LET THEM B IN LOVE CAUSE U NO U ONLY FIND LOVE ONCE"