What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life. It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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Entries in change
(12)

You want to make a change. You believe your life has become stagnant. Your relationship is beginning to bore you. You still haven't gone after your dreams and you believe time is running out. These thoughts will inevitably pass through your mind at various times in your life. The question is not wondering if your thoughts are valid, because they are. The question is what will you do about it.

You need to decide if you will let these feelings pass (and eventually they will on their own) or if you will take action and make a change. There's really no right or wrong choice, there's simply a time to choose. But before you choose to ignore that tugging feeling that tells you something needs to shift, I invite you to take a look at what is most likely stopping you from taking a risk and creating change.

Some may say that your reasons for wanting a change are impractical, irrational, or unreasonable. Some may warn you that you're better off with what you have than risking the unknown. Others will convince you that your desires are childish and irresponsible. You, yourself will create doubt and uncertainty as to the reasons behind your restlessness or the validity of what you want to do. The bottom line is you and your well meaning friends and family are experiencing the same thing... Fear.

So how do you overcome your fear? There's only one simple answer. You take a leap of faith. I know that some of you are assuming I mean you trust that God or the Universe or Whatever will be watching over you and taking care of you and your choices. And there's nothing wrong with defining that statement in that way. But I'm talking about a different kind of faith--the faith I'm referring to is faith in YOURSELF.

Here's what's important for you to remember about yourself when you're feeling scared about change.

You have been through many changes in your life already and have survived each and every one of them.

You have fallen down more than once, picked yourself up off the ground, and moved on until life became more manageable.

You have developed a support system whether you know it or not. There has been someone somewhere who has helped you during times of crisis, change and uncertainty.

You know how to ask for help and accept help when you need it.

You have coping skills that have been developing since you were born. You have more of them than you realize.

You learn from your experiences (you can't help but do this as your brain is hard-wired to) and apply those learnings to other things.

You know that most things in life are worth the risk--love, adventure, joy, accomplishments, growth.

You know that without change, growth does not occur; without growth, things wither and die.

You know that you can't control much but what you can control can make a difference to yourself and others.

You know that even with risk, you may not get to your desired destination.

You also know that some of the best destinations are unplanned.

Take a leap of faith today...in yourself.

Believe in your ability to create, learn, problem-solve, adapt, deal with disappointment and celebrate life.

Be bold. Take a leap of faith. Jump into your next adventure.

Be well, Julie

P.S. If you or someone you know wants to make a change in their life, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." C.G. Jung

This quote reflects and reaffirms the heart of phase three in The Pathway to Love. Acceptance is an absolute pre-requisite for intimacy, healing and transformation.

Acceptance is what creates a sacred space. A sacred space is what creates a possibility for something new, different, deeper, more meaningful. It is through our acceptance that we find our way in, out, and through.

So next time you find yourself in a power struggle or at war with yourself or someone else, stop and ask yourself "What do I need to accept?"

Next time you find yourself impatient, frustrated, or wishing things were different, stop and ask yourself "How can I accept things as they are in this very moment?"

And finally, next time you find yourself berating yourself, stop and ask yourself "How can I demonstrate compassion, understanding and acceptance for myself?"

The answers lie within the space of acceptance. Once we accept ourselves, others, and circumstances for who and what they are, we unlock the key to knowing exactly what to choose and do next and who we want to become.

For more information on the four phases of a developing relationship, please visit www.JulieOrlov.com/pathway-to-love. If you are interested in scheduling a coaching or psychotherapy appointment, please call 310-379-5855 or 1-888-99PATHS.

As always, I am committed to helping you create strong and intimate relationships.

We spend a lot of time focusing on things outside of ourselves--our spouses, children, friends, work, household chores, etc. When we focus on life's transitions, they also tend to be external events--anniversaries, graduations, births, deaths, moves, promotions, etc.

However, unless we're dealing with life and death issues, we tend to forget that we our organic in nature. Our bodies have their own transitions and milestones. We go through puberty, pregnancies, illnesses, growth, injuries, menopause (both male and female versions), aging, and eventually, death.

At times we have more energy and at others, less. There are times when we seem more prone to illness and disease and there are times when we feel strong and invincible. Our energy has its ebb and flow just as our relationships and our seasons. Some of us are lucky to have good health well into our old age and others find themselves challenged with serious and chronic disease.

Experts will tell you that your body has its own markers. Some are determined by genetics, others by lifestyle, and others still by chance and fate. Some people teach mind over matter, others teach mind-body connection. Some people preach God's will over genetics, others practice modern medicine, the latest miracle drug and the age defying diet.

Regardless of which truths beckon you, I believe it is important to listen to the wisdom your body holds. If it tells you to rest, rest. If it tells you to be in motion, be in motion. If it tells you to drink water, quench its thirst.

The body knows more than you think. Learning to listen will give you clues as to what job offer to accept, which people are good for you to have as friends, which invitations to accept and which ones to reject. Your body tells you when danger is near, when you need to slow down and when you need to make that appointment with your doctor.

It's easy to spend time in our heads. It's easy to ignore what our body is telling us until it is too late.

So spend time everyday listening within. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Honor its wisdom.

If you or someone you know wants to create strong and intimate relationships, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm here to help. I provide personalized guidance and coaching. And if you want to start right now, go and purchase The Pathway to Love at-home program. You don’t need to wait. You can begin the process today. Take advantage of the opportunity receive the support and guidance you deserve.

There comes a time when you must choose. You must choose which college to attend, which house to buy, if you will get married and to whom, if you will take the new job, if you will buy that car. We are faced with making choices all the time. Most of our choices are relatively small--what do I want to have for dinner, which blouse will I wear today, which project will I work on, etc. However, from time to time we have big choices to make. Choices that have big implications. Choices that usually involve selecting from more than one option.

A funny thing happens when we are forced to "choose." We become anxious, even obsessed with making the right choice. We struggle to consider all the factors involved with making that decision. For some, choosing something big, new and different is easy. For others, its painstaking. But for most everyone, there is a common phenomenon known as "Buyer's Remorse."

Buyer's remorse is that moment when you realize that what "was" is now gone. It's the moment when you realize there is no going back. The marriage is official, escrow has closed, the relationship has ended, you've quit the old job, you've begun your first day of college.

What is buyer's remorse really about? Why do we suddenly miss our old life? What is at stake when we let go of the past and move on to the future? Aren't we doing this all the time anyways?

To help you navigate through your big "choices," here are a few things to know when it comes to buyer's remorse.

Endings are hard. Even if you know that it is best for you to let go of a relationship, going through the process is painful. Here are three very important things to do in order to move through your loss with more power and ease.

Settle into the sadness and loss. Don't try to minimize, deny, self-medicate or distract yourself from all the normal and natural feelings that arise when going through a loss. Sometimes people will run from the feelings simply because they're afraid that if the submit to them, they will drown in them. Please know that you will come out the other end. You will feel better in time. But you can't get to the other side without going through the hard part first. So feel your feelings and be patient and kind with yourself.

Understand that during times of transitions you will feel lost, anxious and unsteady. This occurs in the in-between time from accepting the loss to finding a new normal. This entails feeling uncomfortable for a while. When you're in that in-between space, you need to understand that this is a necessary time to figure out who you are as a person without your ex, what you need to learn from having had that relationship and what you want to create in your next relationship. It takes time to feel comfortable in your own skin as a single person. The emptiness is pronounced. The more you can settle into this transitional time, the easier it will be for you to recognize lessons learned from the past and new opportunities that await you in your future. Don't rush this process. You will move through this in your own time and way. Be patient and get comfortable with the unknown. Remember, one needs to be confused before clarity occurs.

Embrace your new life as it unfolds. Don't be afraid to let love in again. Enjoy feeling strong and content as a single person. In other words, when the dust settles and you feel whole again, say yes--yes to new people, experiences, and opportunities. Live your life to the fullest!