My Grandma died 3 days ago technically she was my step Grandma but her and my grandpa my dads dad treated me better than all of my biological fathers side ever did! My B.F (Biological Father) and I have no relationship he treated me horribly my whole life along with his wife, his mother his siblings were fake to me! My Grandpa and Step-Grandma helped raise me when I was supposed to go to my B.F house on his weekend he took me to my grandpa and step grandmas house because his wife refused to have me in her house and allow me to be part of their family! All though I endured all this I got over it well I learned to quote.. well due to a family fued created by my father and his side of the family my grandparents had to be separated mind you they were more than in love they were soul mates they are one of the reasons I looked for a good man who always made me laugh and spoiled me lol well that and my Mom and step-dad who I call dad because he raised me!! anyways my Aunt and B.F take care of my Grandpa and have taken over his estate which was all set until they changed it and manipulated him and took advantage of his dementsia sorry about spelling when my grandma went to a nurseing home they were supposed to go together and my grandpa.. the Love they had was Epic, amazing and my Grandmas family tried to take my dieing Grandma to see her loving husband they refused to let her in now she is gone!! I want to see my Grandpa they wont let me they are stubborn and evil what legal rights do I have!! also all my grandmas belongings in the house my grandpa lives in they refuse to let my grandmas family have it in fact my aunt pawned a lot of it off!! I am fuming so mad what gives them the right!! Please help me! I need whats right for my Grandpa he needs to be in a home to be properly cared for and my Grandmas kids my aunts and uncles who always treated me well and I love and respect them deserve their mothers things and family heirlooms!! I am super emotional but need legal advice but free.. who can I call how can I see him, help my grandmas family, and get him proper care!! Thank you in advance and sorry for the spelling..

4 Answers

What makes you think Grandpa is dying? Sure he is sad about his wife and you should send him a card with a little note telling him how much you love him. As for the stuff in the house, you have no legal rights. If you have asked about having some of her belongings, well, they may suspect you will take something from the house. As for the estate, yes it would have been rearranged when Grandma went in the nursing home; again you have no legal rights there. The best you can do is ask for supervised visitation, in writing, and agree not to ask about belongings or estate items, just spend an hour, no more, with Grandpa.

It certainly sounds like a confusing and dysfunctional situation. I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother. If you are concerned with the handling of her assets, I might consult with an attorney who handles Probate. You can check and see if an Estate has been opened for her. If he had no assets, it may not be required. In some states, you may have legal standing to open the estate. If there was a Will, it should designate the Executor. An attorney could help guide you on this.

Has your biological father given you a reason that you cannot see your grandfather? You say that he has dementia. He may not recognize anyone anymore. Do you know of any other people who do visit your grandfather? If you have valid reasons to doubt that he is receiving proper care, there are people you can call to investigate. I'd make sure first, though, since making an unfounded claim would likely cause more issues in the family.

There are probably reasons. They must have POA and the responsibility to make decisions on what they feel is best for grandpa.

My stepdad passed a month ago. He did not want me to come see him. My son and wife just had a baby. They did not want visitors for a period of time. And you know I am the same way, when I don't feel good I do not want to be bothered with people visiting either.

Your biological father has a wife and children with whom you have no connection. These people are hostile to you. It is not clear how or why any relationship with your biological father has been maintained. Normally this would be a good thing; but was it, in fact, for you? I'm not sure how much good it can have done you to have contact with a man who pretended to give you parental time then palmed you off on his father and stepmother. However...

I'm so sorry to hear of your grandfather's loss of his much loved wife. Three days ago. That means his emotions will be totally raw. Do not make things worse. Leave him alone, at least for now. Send a simple card at most, saying only that you are sad about grandma and will miss her very much.

Further down the line, and I mean not this year, the approach to take is that your grandfather has a right to contact with any family he wants to see. If, in the midst of your extremely complex family, you have been brought into contact with any counsellors or social workers, why not ask their advice on how you can advocate your grandfather's right to see you.

Other than that... Your family, like many others, is a bit of an emotional tornado. Try not to get caught up in it. Love who you love, leave those you don't love, make your own life. I hope you get to catch up with your grandpa again, but your chances of that will be better if you approach the situation constructively. Best of luck.

The material of this web site is provided for informational purposes only. AgingCare.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment; or legal, or financial or any other professional services advice.