This September, KTEH invited local viewers to audition for their chance to be the next cooking show star in their live December special, KTEH Cooks with Garlic.

Thirty-eight people of all walks of local life got up enough nerve to send in their video recipes and on November 1st, you, in all your I-could-have-done-that-so-much-better smugness, are invited to vote for your favorite. Do yourself a favor and watch them.

For those of you who were either too late to submit your own video, or would simply enjoy contributing your own recipe, there is still time and an ounce of hope. Submit to KTEH your favorite original garlic recipe to be considered for their upcoming cookbook. All recipes should include a byline. Please note that any recipe submitted becomes the property of KTEH.

It takes a lot of time to watch all of the video submissions, certainly, but I found them absolutely fascinating. I am impressed by the amount of people out there who have, um, garlic bulbs big enough to let televisionland into their kitchens and, in a sense, into their psyches.

Take a peek. In the mix, you can watch a woman creating a Garlic Dream Sauce with the help of a puppet, teen-aged girls with confident cooking skills preparing soup under the supervision of a doting father, cooks hawking their own cookbooks, even a woman creating a garlic-infused “Toasty Thai Ice Cream” under the menacing gaze of a crazed-looking, apron-wearing pig.

The overall craftsmanship of the videos is non-professional, to be sure. Many of the videos are so dark, it sometimes seems as though some of the contestants were in the care of some sort of culinary witness protection program. Some of the submittors make up for lack of technical know-how with vibrant personalities. Others come off frightfully dull, professorial, repetitive, or even painfully awkward. But here they are, for all the world to see.

I’ve spent a few hours watching the videos. I’ve got my favorites and I’m definitely voting. I’m basing my choices not so much on recipe, production value, or even physical hotness. Instead, I’m voting based on kitchen décor. Look for the Marlo Thomas-as-That-Girl kitchen tile.