According to Detroit Free Press, a local couple has now filed a class action lawsuit against Pokémon GO-developer Niantic. Their reasoning: Players of the popular smartphone app are being loud near their property, they cuss at them, they peek into their house´s windows, they even trespass and damage their private property. Because they couldn´t get ahold of the individuals actually committing crimes, the couple sues the developer, saying “they have made millions of dollars, while ruining the lives of many Americans“.

It goes without saying that the couple doing the suing as well as those defending them are utter lunatics. Obviously, Niantic never encouraged, as several users from NeoGAF worded it, players of their game to trespass into private property. Not only does the app tell you at every start exactly that. Its Pokémon radar ever since after week 1 of the app´s release also doesn´t show Pokémon´s proximity anymore. A Pokémon is either visible on your phone and you can catch it, or it isn´t visible and you will have no idea in which direction to go to find it. But I hadn´t planned on writing this blog article about the pure logical counter argument to those demonizing developer Niantic. No, I´m writing these lines to use the EXACT same logic that SJWs love to use to defend censorship in video games that occurs during the localization process from Japan to Europe/USA.

As most of you will know, it is illegal to present sexualized underage girls in video games. Which, to be truer to the fact, means: It is illegal to present sexualized fictional/virtual underage girls. We´ve seen this in many recent Nintendo games, where ages are upped from originally 16 or 17 to 18 or 19 in Tokyo Mirage Sessions and Project Zero 5, or where customization was severely limited in the Western version of Xenoblade Chronicles X. Older gamers will remember how Dead or Alive´s Kasumi´s age was upped from 14 in the Japanese version to 18 in the Western version of the popular fighting game-series. I made this argument before and I´ll repeat it on this occassion: I strongly believe it is wrong and ridiculous to apply REAL law to FICTIONAL characters. No real underage girl is hurt by having sexy fictional underage girls. It´s just that, fiction. We have thousands of games where we can murder fictional people without them being treated like real people (obviously), but we draw the line when it comes to sexualization? Humbug!

However, if we accept for the moment that that´s the unfortunate status quo … then why not apply the very same logic to Pokémon GO? The opponents of the app argue that Niantic purposefully places Pokémon on private property, encouraging players to trespass said property. BUT: Within the context of the game, these Pokémon are wildlife. It isn´t Niantic´s fault that wild Pokémon roam private property. No company can control wild animals, it is nature at play here. When a rare butterfly flies into somebody´s house, you cannot sue the state for trespassing bug catcher. No, you sue the brazen bug catcher. Yes, Pokémon are only fictional animals, but so are the aforementioned underage girls that aren´t allowed to be sexualized, because real law is applied to them. Logically following, real law also must be applied to the Pokémon in Pokémon GO! These wild fictional animals are freely roaming the environment as they see fit, dictated only by their animal instincts, akin to how fictional underage girls must be protected from any abuse.

Should the Detroid couple honestly feel threatened or inconvenienced by the wild Pokémon in their backyard, then they probably ought to hire a professional Pokémon catcher, who will probably get rid of all the mongering beasts. Meanwhile, instead of spending a single thought on deciding if that silly class action lawsuit should be put to court or not, the United States of America (as well as the rest of the world) should publically thank developer Niantic for leading a sedentary generation of youth back into the outside world, breathing fresh air, enjoying sunlight and interacting with other people. Thanks, Niantic!