Living the Swank Life one post at a time.

For The Birds

Dear Local Birds:

I thought we had a nice little thing going. I'd mow the lawn and futz around in the garden, and then you'd come along and look all cute while feasting on all the worms and bugs that had been disturbed in the process.

I enjoyed watching you out the windows, and was strongly considering developing a garden that you would enjoy even more, so that I would have the best yard on the block for you and your friends.

And how do you thank a girl? NOT by taking a giant crap on her windshield. Nearly every damn day. Even if none of you are the culprits, you've got more pull with the outsiders than I do. They should be crapping on the car that is permanently parked in the neighbors yard, not on my car.

I'm willing to work with you on other issues, but only if you address this one issue for me.