Disenhanced Episode 6: House of the Rising Sun

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

The writers of Lost like to demonstrate, whenever possible, that they were the only people not asleep in English class. They're heavy into literary techniques like irony, juxtaposition, symbolism, plagiarism...you know, all the classic techniques. This week's episode title demonstrates such facility with literary devices, as it is a play on words. Sun is the name of one of the characters on the show, so the episode title is, at once, a reference to her and also to the old blues song "House of the Rising Sun" (which is also, by the way, the "Jeopardy" answer to the question "What is the only reason anyone has heard of The Animals?")

As the writers of Lost will tell you, if you'll only sit still for a moment to listen to them, this episode title works at so many "levels". Not only is it a reference to this character, but it's also a reference to the fact that this character is beginning to grow and flourish (to "rise") after initially not being able to do so. When you get smartypants English-major types writing a TV show, this is what happens with the episode titles - people try to make them work at different "levels". I suppose we're lucky that the writers didn't choose to focus on Jin's character in the title instead...we might have ended up with a title like "Taking It On The Jin."

Of course, if this had been an episode of Friends, it would just be called "The One Where Charlie Stands On A Beehive".

Contents

Act 1

[Sun's eye opens. Shot of her with flowering plant which she smells. We see Jin catching a fish in the ocean as Sun looks on. Sun looks in the direction of Kate and Jack but the camera lingers on her watching them have this exchange.]

KATE: It's not like I'm asking a personal question.

JACK: It is a personal question.

KATE: You don't have to get all quiet on me. I just want to know.

CAPTION: "All right, all right, I admit it. I'm not a doctor. I just play one on TV. Badly."

[Camera switches to shot of Kate putting water into backpack on Jack's back.]

JACK: Well, you're not going to know.

KATE: What's the big deal?

JACK: It's not a big deal. It's just something I did. I had my reasons. And I don't want to put it out there.

[Camera switches to Sun watching them for a second when Jack says "I had my reasons."]

CAPTION: Hmm...it looks like Sun may have understood what Jack was saying. This is interesting for two reasons. First, it would be proof that Sun really understands English. Second, it would be proof that she also, inexplicably, can fathom this incomprehensible dialogue.

KATE: It's just that you and your tattoos don't add up. Are you one of those hard-core spinal surgeons?

[Shot of them getting gear together for a hike.]

JACK: That's me. Hard-core.

CAPTION: Jack was in "This is Spinal Tap." It was a promotional video for his hospital. His line in it is "No, really, I have to give you a spinal tap."

[Shot of Charlie with his pack.]

CHARLIE: If you guys are finished verbally copulating we should get a move on.

CAPTION: "If not, can we at least persuade you to use a verbal condom?"

CHARLIE: There's a whole beach of people waiting for us to get some drinking water for them. And the great white hunter's getting restless.

[Shot of Locke shaving with a straight-edge and a piece of broken mirror.]

CAPTION: Yes, apparently when the Great White Hunter gets restless he...shaves...shaves with all his might!

[Shot of Jack.]

JACK: Okay, let's do this.

KATE: Hey Charlie. Ask Jack about his tattoos.

CHARLIE: Oh, you guys have an inside joke. How absolutely wonderful for you both.

CAPTION: Because the tattoos are in Chinese characters, Kate can't read them. Ironically, however, the first tattoo actually says "Ask me about my tattoos." The second says "How's my driving? Call BAngkok 9-3654."

[Shot of Jack, Kate, Charlie and Locke walking off to get water.]

[Shot of Sun still watching them. She looks troubled. Change of angle with Jin in foreground whacking fish head against something. Sun looks disgusted.]

CAPTION: "...for a brain-eating virus, if we can believe all the evidence afforded by his everyday behavior."

SUN: 빨리 이 곳을 떠나고 싶어. 응? [Subtitle: We need to get away. Now.]

JIN: 어디로? [Subtitle: Where?]

SUN: 미국. [Subtitle: America.]

CAPTION: Sun had given her argument in favor of this idea to Jin earlier. She had boiled it down to one basic pitch - "I like to be in America! Okay by me in America! Everything free in America!" But Jin responded with that classic rebuttal "For a small fee in Amer-I-ca!"

CAPTION: "And I'm the kind of guy who generally is going to suck up to someone like your father."

[Jin gives her a white flower. She smiles and smells it and laughs a little.]

SUN: 너무 예쁘다. [Subtitle: It's beautiful.]

JIN: 이게 다이아몬드였다면 좋았을 텐데. 언젠가는 그렇게 될 거야. [Subtitle: I wish it were a diamond. Someday it will be.]

CAPTION: Yes, you see, you take this beautiful flower, then subject it to intense heat and pressure, mashing it into its component elements and then restructuring it into a metamorphasized crystalline form, like this. (*MASH! SMUSH! FWOOMP! SQUUSH!*)

[They kiss.]

[Back on the beach we see Jin's foot stomping on Sun's plants. Jin walks angrily toward the camera. Sun shouts after him. We see that Jin is walking toward Michael and Walt.]

SUN: 여보, 왜 그래요? [Subtitle: What's the matter?]

[Jin runs up and tackles Michael and starts slugging him.]

CAPTION: This just in - the survivors camp has now officially run out of decaf.

Act 2

[Sawyer tries to hand them to Sayid, but Jin is thrashing around and Sawyer has to help him to subdue Jin.]

[We see Jin being handcuffed to some kind of bar on the plane. Jin is still struggling.]

SAYID: [to Sun] What happened?

CAPTION: Apparently, Sayid is hoping Sun will give him that extraordinarily useful all-Korean explanation of what happened.

[Shot of Jack, Kate, Charlie, Locke walking through jungle.]

JACK: Water's this way.

KATE: How'd you find this place?

CAPTION: "Craigslist."

JACK: Luck.

[Shot of everyone walking, looking around, especially Locke.]

JACK: This is it.

LOCKE: It's amazing.

CHARLIE: Absolutely. [to Locke] Totally you.

CAPTION: Which explains why it's actually part of the set of the spinoff show "That's So Locke".

[Charlie investigates a piece of plane wreckage.]

CHARLIE: Hey guys, shouldn't someone look through this stuff? Could be something useful in here.

LOCKE: He's got a point.

CHARLIE: I do?

CAPTION: Well, there's a first time for everything.

JACK: Yeah. Bring me your bottles, and keep an eye out for any medical supplies, drugs in particular.

CHARLIE: [nodding] Drugs, right.

CAPTION: Sgt. Fox reporting for Henhouse Detail, sir!

[Shot of Locke bringing bottles to Jack. Charlie looks fidgety and starts walk away. He hides behind a tree, looking over his shoulder, going for the drugs in his pocket. His finger tapes says LATE. We hear the sound of bees.]

LOCKE: [to Charlie, off camera] Don't move.

CHARLIE: [quickly putting the drugs back in his pocket] Look, I was just going to take. . .

LOCKE: Do not move.

CAPTION: "A fuse is out." Actually, the old man loved it. He used to buy them by the gross. (*ding*) Okay, some royalties going out to the estate of Jean Shepherd.

[Jack and Kate arrive on the scene.]

JACK: What's going on?

LOCKE: [shushing Jack] He's standing on a beehive.

CAPTION: At first, Charlie's reaction was "Oh good, the thousands of insects aren't part of a heroin freakout hallucination." But then it occurred to him that at least heroin freakout hallucinations can't sting you thousands of times.

CHARLIE: What's a beehive doing there? Beehives are supposed to be in trees.

JACK: What now?

LOCKE: If he moves, he'll split the hive.

CHARLIE: I don't like bees, okay. I have an irrational fear of bees.

CAPTION: It's easy to sympathize with Charlie. Many people have a fear of the Bee Gees, which is quite similar. Of course, that's a rational fear...

CHARLIE: I think I'm allergic to bees.

LOCKE: Please be quiet. [to Jack and Kate] We need to get something to seal the hive.

KATE: To cover it?

CAPTION: "No, Kate, to decorate its exterior with the kind of ornate wax seal characteristic of official documents of the 18th Century."

LOCKE: Hurry.

[Shot of bees landing on Charlie's face.]

[We see Michael talking to Sayid.]

MICHAEL: I'm getting tired of saying this. I was just walking the beach with my son, and all of the sudden this dude is all up on me. I didn't do anything.

JIN: 시끄러워!

CAPTION: "As if."

[Tense stares all around.]

SAYID: Surely there must be something you're not telling us.

MICHAEL: Surely? Where you from man?

SAYID: Tikrit. Iraq.

CAPTION: "And stop calling me Shirley." (*ding!*) Some royalties going out to David Zucker on that one.

MICHAEL: Well, hey. I don't know how it is in Iraq, but in the United States of America where I'm from, Korean people don't like black people. Did you know that?

JIN: 거짓말 하지 마!

CAPTION: "It's a lie. I hate all races equally."

MICHAEL: So maybe you ought to talk to him [pointing at Jin].

SUN: [Pointing to her watch] 지금 시계 때문에 그래요, 시계.

CAPTION: I can't stay any longer to watch you two fight. It's time for Grey's Anatomy. I have to watch it now because since we crashed on the Island, my TiVo isn't working anymore.

SAYID: The cuffs stay on.

SAWYER: A little louder, Omar. Maybe then she'll understand you.

CAPTION: Yeah, be culturally sensitive, Omar...

HURLEY: [entering] Guys, that Chinese dude is going to get pretty crispy out here. How long are you going to keep him tied down like that?

SAYID: He tried to kill Michael. We all saw it.

CAPTION: People are only admitting they saw it because someone got the whole thing on videotape. Honestly, why do people have to be like that? Why can't we all just get along?

SAYID: The cuffs stay on until we know why.

CAPTION: The cuffs stay on until we know why we put the cuffs on? Huh?

[Shot of Michael. Then Sun and Jin.]

MICHAEL: [to Walt] Come on, man. Let's go.

[Everyone disperses, Sawyer stays looking over at Jin and Sun off camera.]

[FLASHBACK]

[Shot of Sun's gold watch. We see her looking at the time, leaning on a railing. Jin approaches as she looks expectant.]

JIN: 내가 아버님을 설득했지. 일 년 경영 수업을 받고, 일 년 공장에서 일 하면, 우리가 원하는 돈이 생길거야. [Subtitle: I reasoned with him. After a year of management training, and a year of work at the factory, we'll have all the money we need.]

SUN: 아빠 밑에서 일 할거야? [Subtitle: You are going to work for my father?]

JIN: 그렇게 하는 게 옳은 거야. [Subtitle: It's the right thing to do.]

CAPTION: Jin knows this because his moral compass points due north. As is the case with any employee of Sun's father. Working for Sun's father leads to the path of righteousness, yay, verily I say this unto you. No one could ever doubt such an obvious proposition.

SUN: 하지만 자기야, 그거는…

JIN: 아니, 그렇게 해야… 잠깐 뿐이야. [Subtitle: No, I have to. It's temporary.]

[Jin opens an engagement ring box with a big diamond in it.]

CAPTION: Not bad on a temp's salary.

SUN: 어머, 자기야… 이렇게 비싼 걸 어떻게 샀어? [Subtitle: You can't afford this.]

JIN: 이제 이 정도는 할 수 있어. [Subtitle: I can now.]

CAPTION: Cost of Sun's diamond ring, one million Korean won. Cost of Jin's immortal soul, priceless. Some things only Sun's father can buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.

[He puts the ring on her finger. Big smiles and hugs.]

[Shot of Sun at the beach looking troubled.]

[Shot of the beehive and Charlie's feet.]

JACK: Alright. Just keep still man. I'm going to try to cover the hive.

CHARLIE: It wouldn't be an irrational fear of bees if I could just pull myself together, would it?

[Shot of Jack with a suitcase, getting ready to cover the hive. Charlie smacks on bee on his face, gets off balance and steps on the hive breaking it open. They all take off running. Jack and Kate to the caves. Locke and Charlie in the other direction. Jack and Kate take their shirts off.]

[Kate ends up right by one of the skeletons and sees it. She's frightened and backs away. We see the skeleton.]

CAPTION: Cue theme music for Bones. Nah, just kidding, but hey, wouldn't that be a totally cool crossover show?

Act 3

[Shot of skeleton.]

KATE: Who is he? How'd he get here?

CAPTION: Two words. Scarsdale Diet.

JACK: I can't exactly perform an autopsy but there doesn't seem to be any major trauma to the bones. There's another one over here. Someone laid them to rest here.

JACK: Long. It takes 40 or 50 years for clothing to degrade like this.

CAPTION: But ironically, a plot line can degrade in minutes. Wait a minute, 40 or 50 years, you say? That's it, then! It must be Ozzie and Harriet!

[Jack finds a pouch in the clothing.]

KATE: What is it?

[Jack dumps a white stone and a black stone into his palm.]

CAPTION: Cue Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder.

LOCKE: [approaching] Hello? Anybody there? Everyone all right?

JACK: [nodding] A few stings aside.

[Jack puts the stones back into the pouch, but we can't see what he does with the pouch.]

CAPTION: Hold on a minute, not so fast with that pouch, bub. Something seems awfully familiar about those stones. A white stone and a black stone. Where have we seen that before? Where oh where? Perhaps we should play an exciting game of backgammon to clear our minds while we ponder this important question.

CHARLIE: You two run away fantastically.

CAPTION: They do at that. Especially Kate. What with her hair swishing back and forth and all.

CHARLIE: Glad my diversion spared you. I was only stung several hundred times. Oh, and uh, someone left this [handing Kate her shirt].

KATE: It was, um, it was full of bees.

CHARLIE: I'd have thought C's, actually.

CAPTION: "We'd have thought C's, actual...--what?! Crap!! Dammit, Charlie, you beat us to the lame joke!!

[Kate gives him a "you're an idiot" look.]

CAPTION: Now, be nice. Charlie might take that personally.

CHARLIE: Sorry.

[Jack sort of laughs. Then Charlie sees one of the skeletons. Jack is looking at the other one.]

CHARLIE: Bloody Hell! Are these the people who were here before us?

CAPTION: Before is such a relative term. Ooh, sorry, is that too much information? (*letter arrives from ABC's attorneys*) Ah. Guess so.

[Jack looks toward Locke. Locke comes closer.]

LOCKE: What are you talking about?

[Jack gives Charlie a "you're an idiot" look.]

CAPTION: Now, be nice. If one more person gives Charlie a "you're an idiot" look, he might develop a complex.

CHARLIE: Uh, just, you know, the, the, there could have been people here before us, right?

[Locke looks toward Jack who looks away.]

LOCKE: Clearly. But, who were these men?

JACK: Actually, one of them is female.

CAPTION: "See, look, this skeleton is clearly in the 'nagging' position..."

LOCKE: Our very own Adam and Eve.

CAPTION: "Yeah, and this is their master bedroom. Across the way in this part of the cave is one of the kids' rooms. That's where they raised a little Cain."

[Shot of Sun trying to attend to Jin's chafed wrist. Jin is flinching and moaning, and he pulls away.]

CAPTION: A situation like this, and they're all fresh out of Oil of Olay on the Island. Wouldn't you know it?

[FLASHBACK]

[We see Sun in a cute dress with Chanel shopping bags coming into an apartment. She finds a box with gold wrapping and a bow but no lid. We can hear the sounds of a dog. She takes a puppy out of the box.]

JIN: 어때? 좋아? 내가 사무실 가서 보내는 시간이 많으니까, 개라도 키우면 어떨까 해서. 물론, 니가 밥도 주고, 훈련도 시켜야 되는데. [Sun looks apprehensive, sad.] 괜찮겠지? [Subtitle: What do you think? Do you like it? I've been working such long hours, I thought you might enjoy the company. Of course, you'll have to train it, and feed it. Are you okay?]

SUN: 당신의 꽃 한 송이가 내 인생의 전부였을 때? [Subtitle: Remember when all you had to give me was a flower?]

CAPTION: "Besides, the dog is so much work. Remember all the trouble I had training and feeding you?"

[Jin gets a cell call.]

JIN: 아버지네. [Subtitle: It's your father.]

CAPTION: Ha ha, the joke's on you, Jin. Unbeknownst to you, it's actually Ashton Kutcher, pretending to be Sun's father. And now a worldwide audience will be in on that joke, too, because you, Kwan Jin Soo, are about to get punk'd.

[Shot of Sun on the beach, again, looking troubled.]

[Shot of Kate putting water bottles in a pack. Then wide shot.]

LOCKE: I think one of us should stay and help Charlie salvage the wreckage.

KATE: You offering?

LOCKE: Sure. Give me a chance to get to know him a little better.

CAPTION: "Also, I'm prepared...I have my Nancy Reagan speech all written out on note cards."

KATE: We should move out. People are probably getting thirsty. [She sees Jack looking at the spring] What?

JACK: 46 people need to drink a half gallon a day each. Carrying all this water back and forth is going to be real pain in the ass.

KATE: You're starting to make me regret volunteering.

CAPTION: Regret volunteering? By golly, she did volunteer for this mission, didn't she? Wow, almost missed that counting that one. SIX.

JACK: These caves make too good a shelter just to be used for burial. Adam and Eve, they must have lived here. Their plane crashed, or maybe they were ship-wrecked. They probably found this place and knew they could survive here. Unlimited supply of fresh water, tree canopy keeps the temperature down, shields out the sun, [Kate is looking down, unconvinced], the openings are narrow, easier for protection against predators. We don't need to bring the water to the people. We need to bring the people to the water. [Kate still looking unconvinced]. I think we could live here.

CAPTION: The neighborhood is a bit of a fixer-upper, but with a little fresh paint and a mowed lawn, and maybe if Animal Control came by for the polar bears and the smoke monsters, we could see real upward movement in property values.

[Shot of Walt on the beach, playing in the sand. He looks over at Jin chained to the plane. Sun walks up to Jin in background.]

MICHAEL: [to Walt] Hey, what are you doing? [to Jin] You say something to my boy?

[Jin says something. Walt looks scared. Sun looks scared.]

MICHAEL: Yeah, nice talking to you, too. Move it, Walt.

WALT: How come he doesn't like us?

MICHAEL: What?

WALT: You said people like him don't like people like us.

MICHAEL: Oh man. You know, uh, look, that's not true, and you know what, I don't think like that anyway. I was, I was angry.

CAPTION: Possibly Michael knew he was going a little bit too far with the rhetoric when Al Sharpton and a bunch of his followers organized a combination protest and press conference over by the fuselage.

WALT: What did you do to him?

MICHAEL: What did I do to him? You tell me? I've been with you since we crashed. Have you seen me do anything, to anyone? What kind of man do you think I am, anyway? What did your mother say about me?

WALT: She never talked about you.

CAPTION: "Not to me, anyway. She was too busy dissing you to her friends."

[He pushes her away. She slaps him across the face. He restrains himself, but gives her a mean look.]

CAPTION: This is an act of love, really. He's obviously capable of whaling the tar out of some other poor schlump who's crossed his path, but when he's angry at Sun, he manages to keep things down to a mere stinky expression on his face.

CAPTION: Cue Bryan Adams - "Everything I dooooooooooooooo...I do it for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

[Sun leaves the bathroom. Jin continues to wash.]

CAPTION: And now we pause for a word from our newest sponsor, Lady MacBeth Cleanser...for those spots that just won't come out.

Act 4

[Shot of Kate and Jack walking through the jungle. They stop for a rest.]

KATE: You checking me out?

JACK: What?

KATE: No harm in it.

JACK: Trust me, if I was checking you out, you'd know it.

KATE: Yeah, so then what were you thinking? Right now.

JACK: Well, I sure as hell wasn't thinking that.

CAPTION: We should all trust Jack more. If he says he wasn't thinking about that, then he wasn't thinking about that.

KATE: Don't stop to think, just tell me.

JACK: I was thinking that if we were living at the caves we could build a dam around that spring so that everybody could have fresh water and we could get the infirmary off the beach. You think it's a bad idea?

KATE: No, no. It makes sense.

JACK: But?

CAPTION: Never mind all that about trusting Jack. It seems he really was thinking about that.

KATE: No but.

CAPTION: At least until he stops staring at it.

JACK: Good, because a lot of people are still hoping a rescue boat is going to show up. They're not thinking about their own safety. We're going to have a lot of convincing to do.

KATE: We? You still haven't convinced me yet.

[We see Charlie and Locke back at the caves going through the wreckage. Charlie starts to wander off and Locke follows.]

CHARLIE: You following me?

LOCKE: Yes.

CHARLIE: There's no need. I'm just going to the loo.

LOCKE: Is there something you want to tell me, Charlie?

CAPTION: "Like what the hell a 'loo' is?"

CHARLIE: I'm going to the loo.

LOCKE: It's dangerous out there. Until we get back to the beach, I'm not breaking line of sight with you.

CHARLIE: Bugger off.

CAPTION: "If you're just going to speak some foreign language all day we're not going to be able to communicate at all..."

LOCKE: I know who you are. And I know what you're looking for. Drive Shaft -- you played bass.

CHARLIE: And guitar -- on a couple of tracks. You really heard of us?

LOCKE: Hey, just because I'm over 40 doesn't mean I'm deaf. I have both your albums.

CAPTION: Voluntarily purchasing both of Charlie's band's records is somehow proof that one's ears work properly?

LOCKE: Although, I thought that your self-titled debut was a much stronger effort than Oil Change. It's a shame what happened to the band. How long since you played?

CHARLIE: My guitar? Uh, 8 days, 11 hours, give or take.

CAPTION: If you want an exact calculation instead of "give or take", ask Sayid. We've seen his supermegacomputer of a math mind at work in previous episodes. He can work up a differential equation that'll calculate the exact amount of missing guitar time for Charlie, out to nanoseconds.

LOCKE: You miss it? [Charlie nods] Well, a lot of wreckage. It might still turn up.

CHARLIE: Undamaged? Still playable? I don't think so. I mean, I wish, but there was this bloke at the counter made me check it in.

LOCKE: No.

CHARLIE: Yeah. There wasn't enough room in the cabin. Fascist.

CAPTION: "First they came for the guitars, but I did not complain because I was not a guitarist..."

LOCKE: You'll see it again.

CHARLIE: Oh yeah? What makes you say that?

LOCKE: Because I have faith, Charlie.

[Shot of Jack and Kate walking. They come across Sayid chopping wood.]

SAYID: It's about time. I am dying of thirst.

[Jack, Kate, Sayid are sitting down drinking some water.]

SAYID: I think I'll let him sit in the sun a while longer. Then I'll take his wife aside, find some way to communicate. I think she knows why he attacked Michael.

JACK: You're sure you don't want me to talk to her? [Sayid nods.] Okay. If you've got that under control I'm going to start talking to people about the caves. Might be able to get a few to go with me before nightfall, start setting up camp.

SAYID: You're serious? Is there a reason you didn't consult us when you decided to form your own civilization?

SAYID: Our best hope of survival is in being spotted by a plane or a ship, and for that we need to organize everyone to keep that signal fire burning while others scout the Island for supplies. Digging in anywhere else is suicide.

CAPTION: A third possibility....perhaps the best hope of survival is if a helicopter flies by dropping lots of food at regular intervals. Oh no, ha ha, who could imagine something crazy like that happening?

KATE: It is the only source of fresh water we've found, Sayid.

JACK: And staying on the beach, in the sun without water? That's not suicide?

SAYID: [grabbing his firewood and axe] I'm not going to admit defeat.

CAPTION: Never have an argument with a guy with an axe. What are Jack and Kate thinking? You tick the guy off, and it's "Sayid Jirrah had an axe, and gave Jack Shephard forty whacks. When he saw what he had done, he gave Kate Austen forty-one."

[Kate looks at Jack as Jack watches Sayid walk away.]

[We see Walt playing with Vincent on the beach as Michael watches. Jack is talking to people to convince them to go to the caves.]

[Sayid approaches Michael.]

MICHAEL: Now what? I already gave you my statement, sheriff.

SAYID: I came to apologize. I shouldn't have been suspicious. You were the victim in the attack this morning.

MICHAEL: I appreciate that, but I can tell you didn't come all the way over here just to say you're sorry.

SAYID: People are seriously considering following Jack to the caves. I'd like to know where you stand.

MICHAEL: Right here. I've got one priority right now and that's to get my kid off this island. A boat passes, I'm not going to be on the hook for missing it.

SAYID: Good.

CAPTION: "In return for you supporting me against Jack, here's an axe you can use for whatever purposes may interest you. I'm sure you'll make nice responsible choices for how you use your new axe, though."

[Jack brings some water to Jin.]

JACK: Slowly, just a little bit at a time, little bit.

JACK: [approaching Hurley] Glad you're coming.

HURLEY: Hey man, I go where the boar's at. So, what's up with you and Kate? You guys going to move into a cave together, or what?

JACK: Sorry, am I in high school?

CAPTION: Well, there are some similarities. Here on the waterfront, for example, you tend to get a lot of pier pressure.

HURLEY: Well, that wasn't a denial.

JACK: Just get your stuff together, we've got to get out of here soon.

SAWYER: [approaching Kate] Well, well, well, if ain't the belle of the ball? So what's it like having both the doctor and Captain Falafel fighting over you? [Kate doesn't respond] Just call 'em how I seem 'em, Freckles. Truth be told, I'm not the only one wondering where you're going to weigh in on this whole moving off the beach thing. Are you going with the pessimists, or staying here and waiting for the rescue boats?

KATE: Are you going?

SAWYER: Well, that's the real trick, isn't it? We all pack up stakes for the caves and the next day a plane passes by, they're going to go on their merry way and be none the wiser. On the other hand, stay here, get eaten by boars, fall off a rock, not going to be anyone around to answer that 911 call.

KATE: Still haven't answered my question.

SAWYER: You didn't answer mine. And I asked first.

CAPTION: Does Kate have any of those verbal condoms left?

[Shot of Michael walking, Sun sitting on beach. She follows him. Jin is sitting in the sun . Michael is cutting wood. Sun goes near to him, watching him from behind some bamboo.

[Shot of Sun still watching Michael from behind some bamboo. After a moment, she approaches him.]

MICHAEL: Oh great, look who came to chat.

SUN: I need to talk to you.

CAPTION: Michael, upon hearing this, is calmly thinking to himself "My, this is a strange turn of events, is it not?" Either that or "HOLY FREAKIN' SIMOLIES, THE KOREAN WOMAN CAN TALK!" One of those.

Act 5

MICHAEL: You speak English?

SUN: Yes.

MICHAEL: What? You speak English? Why didn't you say anything?

SUN: My husband doesn't know.

MICHAEL: Why would you learn English and not tell your husband?

CAPTION: Have you seen the way Jin behaves? Why would she do anything and tell him?

SUN: He has a bad temper. What my husband did to you today, it was a misunderstanding.

MICHAEL: No. I got it. Loud and clear.

SUN: It was the watch.

MICHAEL: Your husband tried to murder me for a watch?

CAPTION: "He saw that it was analog. Jin prefers digital."

[Michael removes the watch.]

MICHAEL: I found this watch two days ago.

SUN: It belongs to my father. Protecting that watch is a question of honor.

MICHAEL: He calls trying to kill me in front of my kid, honor?

CAPTION: It gets better. He calls goring you with a stray shard of metal and removing your lower intestines so he can dance on them "friendliness".

SUN: You don't know my father. I need your help.

[We see Charlie walking away from caves trying to take drugs out of his pocket, looking behind him. But Locke is coming from the opposite direction.]

CHARLIE: Listen to me, you old git, I'm going in the jungle. A man has a right to some privacy.

LOCKE: Just hand it to me. You're going to run out. My guess is sooner rather than later. Painful detox is inevitable. Give it up now, at least it will be your choice.

CAPTION: In an earlier draft of the episode, Locke says this and Charlie sighs and then hands over the last of his remaining Strawberry-Kiwi Snapple.

CHARLIE: Don't talk to me like you know something about me.

LOCKE: I know a lot more about pain than you think. I don't envy what you're facing. But I want to help. [Charlie walks away]. Do you want your guitar?

[Charlie turns and comes back.]

LOCKE: More than your drug?

CHARLIE: More than you know.

LOCKE: What I know is that this island might just give you what you're looking for, but you have to give the island something.

CAPTION: Or you could trade it all for what's behind Door Number Three...

CHARLIE: [giving Locke the drugs] You really think you can find my guitar?

LOCKE: Look up, Charlie.

CHARLIE: You're not going to ask me to pray or something.

LOCKE: I want you to look up.

[Charlie looks up and almost cries when he sees his guitar on a cliff above.]

CAPTION: Or, alternatively, he's crying because he was dumb enough to trade his entire supply of smack for something that was up on that cliff the whole time.

[Shot of Kate sitting on the beach. Jack approaches.]

JACK: Hey. It's almost time to go.

KATE: I don't want to be Eve.

JACK: No one's asking you to.

CAPTION: "Unless you're in the mood for a little 'begatting'."

KATE: I just can't -- dig in.

JACK: Why not? Someone else can stay here, keep a look out, wait for rescue. Why does it have to be you?

KATE: That's not it.

JACK: Then what is it? Kate, how did you get to be this way? Just what is it that you did?

KATE: You had your chance to know.

CAPTION: Actually, the statute of limitations doesn't expire for another seven years.

JACK: If you need me you know where to find me. [He exits]

KATE: You know where to find me, too.

CAPTION: Let's go out on a limb and say it'll be somewhere on the Island.

[Shot of Michael with axe walking up to Jin.]

CAPTION: Oh, crap, here comes another guy with an axe.

MICHAEL: I know you can't understand a word, and normally I'm not the talking out loud type, but since I have a captive audience, I hope for your sake you pay attention. I'm not exactly having the best month of my life. I barely knew my son, and now, I gotta be his daddy. And then to top if off, I have a deranged Korean guy trying to kill me and for what? Look, I get it, right [takes the watch out of his pocket]. It's the watch. Mine broke and I found this in the wreckage, and I figured, hey, why let a $20,000 dollar watch go to waste which is ridiculous since time doesn't matter on a damn island.

CAPTION: Aaah, what's he doing with that axe? Perhaps we had that earlier rhyme wrong. It's actually "Michael Dawson had an axe, and gave Kwan Jin Soo forty whacks. When he saw what he had done, he finished up and went for Sun."

CAPTION: After that display, a third bit of advice Michael might want to give Jin is to change his pants.

[Camera pans on Michael walking away and we see Sun has been there watching.]

[FLASHBACK]

[We see the airport in Sydney: We can hear Jack talking to the counter person. We see Jin. Sun looks at Jin, looks at a clock that says 11:15. We see a black car waiting outside. Shot of Sun gathering her fortitude. She looks over at Jin. Sun is almost crying and walks off camera. Close up, she is crying, obviously trying to make up her mind. She looks over at Jin who holds up a white flower like the one he gave her when they were first in love. She joins him in line. He hands her the white flower.]

JIN: 왜 그래? [Subtitle: Something wrong?]

SUN: 너무 예뻐서. [Subtitle: It's too beautiful.]

[Shot of Sun back at the beach.]

CAPTION: So what have we learned here? Basically that husbands should keep a few pretty flowers for getting themselves out of jams with the missus. For maximum effectiveness, use them only at selected moments when you've basically otherwise completely screwed up your relationship with her. (This has been a paid advertisement for FTD florists.)

Act 6

[Shot of Charlie playing guitar; and Locke with a giant knife at the caves. Jack approaches.]

JACK: Hello?

LOCKE: What's this?

JACK: New tenants.

CAPTION: Actually, this isn't a joke. James Ford Realtors showed them the property, and they're paying $565 per month, plus utilities.

[Jin, Sun, two redshirts, and Hurley come in.]

HURLEY: Short walk. They lied.

[More redshirts walking in. Hurley with a CD player playing (Willie Nelson). We see Jack getting water.]

[Back at the beach Sawyer puts a log on the fire and people sitting around the fire.]

WALT: Can I ask you something?

MICHAEL: Anything you want, man.

WALT: When's your birthday?

[Sawyer, Sayid, Kate are all sitting together at the beach.]

[Locke, Hurley, Jack sitting together at the caves. Sun pulls out a night gown in front of Jin. Charlie plays guitar, looking sweaty.]

CAPTION: So there you have it. Sun and Jin are semi-reconciled, Hurley's jonesing to the dulcet tones of Willie Nelson, Walt is getting to know his father for the first time, and Charlie...well, Charlie is sweaty. Hmm. That last image isn't, comparatively, all that pleasant. Oh well. Perhaps by next week someone might convince Charlie to bathe. We'll see you then.