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February 5, 2020

Not whining and great news with a side of heartwarming

I wanted to whine a
bit about a comment Coach made this weekend as we discussed attending Reggie’s
travel basketball games. I could not go to the earliest game.Coach was planning to go.I suggested that when I arrived for the 2nd
and 3rd games that Coach could then head home, if he wanted.

Coach: ‘I’ll
probably just stay. I don’t really have anything I need to do at home.’

Well. We both
enjoy watching the kids play sports. Thank goodness, because that is a
big chunk of our time. I just had this twinge of jealousy though,
because I have NEVER uttered the words ‘I don’t really have anything I need to
do at home.’ Nor will I ever.

I managed to bite my tongue (almost clear off) and not mention that I asked him about 3 weeks ago or more to get hooks to hang in the girls' room. Not sure if you remember that I painted a mural in their room (or look at the photo I re-uploaded here) 4 years ago and pitched the mismatched dressers that weren't all that functional. They are left with a closet only - a great closet with drawers and shelves and hanging space, mind you. While I wonder if they would do better if they still had drawers, I suspect that dozens of drawers would not alleviate the issue. For the record, the issue is Mini. Not Curly.

Oh look - no dressers. But what a cute bunny and flowers under the window. Guess what - without dresser drawers it is hard to see this cute little bunny because the floor is covered in clothes!

I have decided that a couple of rows of hooks to hang hoodies would be a godsend. The hoodies. Do they multiply overnight or is it just my imagination?

Then I got great
news, so I am NOT going to whine (at least not anymore than I already have)
about my ties to the house and the meals and the laundry and the attempt at organizing rooms and drawers and EVERYTHING at
home.

Switching to great
news: (see how I did that?) My phone made a little Cha-ching sound this morning. I get
paid by 2 of my 3 families with Venmo.The Venmo app makes this sound. I was not expecting payment at
that time, but was too busy feeding babies breakfast to pay much
attention.

The money she sent is
a far cry from the thousands I lost out for this school year, but two weeks pay
when I was NOT expecting it at this point is a hugescore. When the whole nonsense went
down back in September, I texted her that I would anticipate a two week payment
from her.She agreed that this was fair,
but then never paid me. I sent a reminder, but I gave up long agothat I would ever get that payment from
her.

So how awesome is
that?

This story reminds me
that I never told you about what happened at the grocery store the day after
Thanksgiving. I dropped Mini off at the high school for her games and ran into the grocery store to buy some last minute stuff for our trip to Louisville.

I filled my grocery cart, because that is how I roll when I just need a few things. I got to the checkout and reached in my pocket where I had jammed my wallet. Empty.

I looked at the cart and heard the checker ask me if I lost something.

Checker: "We have your wallet. Someone found it on the floor and turned it in. They never even opened it. You have cash still in there. I opened it to see your drivers license."

My knees were weak. I literally thought I might collapse. What a relief. The thought of losing my wallet and replacing my license and credit cards hours before I needed to hop on the road was overwhelming. The checker kept reassuring me that everything was OK.

Thank goodness for good people. (And for the fact that I know that soon-ish Coach will get those hooks up.)

I have more hoodies than necessary too. Thank goodness for two good things; karma baby!! Finally getting paid, even though it wasn't as much as you deserved, was still better than nothing. Also, I've turned over so many wallets without touching anything inside, I would hope that mine would come back to me like that as well. I'm sure you've done plenty of good deeds and it's coming back two-fold.

Your husband and mine are similar; they never feel pressed to do chores or the honey-do-list when at home; they can truly relax. But, really, that is a good thing. They work hard for the family....but still, I understand how you felt about the hooks. I kind of obsess on things that aren't finished and I don't understand why it doesn't bother him like it does me. Does he read your blog?

Gigi - It caused me such a freakout - I have been obsessing over it every since. I have been opting to not carry a purse but more of a sports bag that holds more stuff, but when I need to run in someplace I just grab my wallet. Thus the constant checking. Seriously, so thankful the that person!

Suz- That payment felt like found money because I had given up. I was ELATED! Just when those Christmas gifts and wisdom teeth bills and fraternity dues all hit on one enormous bill. Timing. Coach works CRAZY long hours at a job that he once loved but since the company has been bought he is micromanaged to the eyeballs. It is ultra frustrating, so believe me I DO get that it is good that he can come home and not feel like he has to do much. (other than treat his wife's bum knee, etc). I wish I could relax at home more but I am drowning in the 'house stuff' because the kids do not care. I have been very vocal lately about Mini's room and Coach is starting to take notice. I think if he walked in there as often as I do he would have more of an urgency for hooks. He does not read my blog, but nothing I moan about here would come as news to him. Because he works such long hours, I have to be careful in how I approach extra tasks like mounting a row of hooks. :)

Suz - *One more thought - Coach CAN read my blog - as in this blog is not a secret, but he doesn't read it. I sometimes tell him what I have written about and the kind of comments I get.

My book writing has taken on a major focus for me, and he has made a great deal of effort to help me find the time for that. I pitched a fit one night because I attended a writers group and NO ONE asked me how it went - and I was reading a few chapters to the group and was anxious about it. Let's just say my writing is now on his radar, and the kids' too.

Mini insisted a few months ago that Coach read one of my chapters. She sat there shaking her head because he was not laughing all the way through it as she had. He did enjoy it though - he found parts funny that did not necessarily strike her the same way.

Nicole - Thanks for the compliments on my mural, I do enjoy tapping into my creative side. As I have been struggling with a sort of midlife crisis that revolves around 'What do I want to do when I grow up?' I considered painting murals, etc but thought best not to go there because I would be limited to elephants, dogs, horses, and one dimensional people. Not sure many homeowners would be looking for something that includes those components. Ha!

Hey-I only asked if he read the blog because I wasn't sure if you edited stuff to make it nicer. LOL. My whole family reads my blog, so I sometimes edit things. I LOVE my inlaws, but I could complain about a few things, but I don't because my MIL reads my blog. Coach didn't laugh at your chapters like Mini did. I get this. My girls and I laugh at the same silly/ridiculous stuff, but my husband doesn't have the 'silly' gene that we share. He's funny, but his family isn't silly like mine and my girls inherited that; we laugh at the stupidest of things and the rest of them just stare at us like we're insane. This is why I miss my Mom so much; she was silly and ridiculous in her humor.

Suz - my reply did seem to be defensive -that was my guilt talking. I feel like sometimes my frustrations get the best of me and I have been feeling/fearing lately like I complain more about Coach than I ever have before. I was kinda at the end of my rope with him over the holidays. Not gonna lie. I take on every detail of the holidays while he hangs like one string of lights outside. I don't think I am alone in this unbalanced situation. The kids keep saying our lights look silly and why bother? Hee hee. Anyway, the holidays are behind us and I have moved on vowing next year I will spread the chores a bit, but really? He works TOO much. He enjoys teaching, but that takes time. He does all this extra stuff to make more money which we need. Sometimes I am like 'we are fine - enough' because there isn't a lot of down time or time when he isn't reviewing a case for a lawyer (he is also a professional witness) or updating slides for the next course he is going to teach. His schedule is always chock full of patients. His eyes have been opened to the fact that I am ready to have it be my turn. I need to try to focus on what I want to do. AT the moment that is my book.

Yeah his reaction to my chapter was odd, but not surprising. It was ticking Mini off that he was not splitting a gut. He was in more of the 'let me read it and then react' kind of approach. He sees Mini tiptoe in the study and ask if I have anything new for her to read and I think he has tried to join our little late night reading parties. Taking this class that I just signed up for should be interesting. Some people are going to have to rise to the occasion and pitch in!

You didn't seem defensive at all to me; I was just wondering if he read the blog. :) I believe the holidays are 100% the job of the Mom. I used to be so annoyed over it....but then I realized, he really could care less if we decorated, shopped, etc....he's so easy that it wouldn't bother him to skip it all; right down to the Christmas cards. So, I do what I can and want and not let the rest of it bother me. (although, I am going to start earlier next year!) He, like my husband, are worker bees and they take on too much. Hopefully, he'll slow down so you can get to your writing.

About Me

Mothering 6 kids with no small feet, I trip thru life over their monster-sized mislaid shoes, their nutty antics, and my unhealed scars as a middle child. Life is messy - I'd rather write about it than clean it up.