5 Things I Took For Granted When Festering With A Cold Before Children

July 8, 2016

So my oldest finished school a couple weeks ago and as a delightful parting gift, she brought home one final virus for summer vacation.

Now that I have two children, having a cold is especially challenging because I never get a break. I am dizzy and shaking… pretty sure I’m going to dehydrate with the amount of mucus coming out of my head, my ears are blocked, and there is a whole lot of pressure in my sinus cavities that threatens to come forward explosively every time I bend, but somehow, like every other parent out there… I’m managing.

Here are a few things that I’m really missing about getting through a cold pre-mommyhood.

1. Being able to cough or sneeze when I actually need to.

I just made myself vomit a pile of snot because I was trying to hold off coughing until I could hobble into another room so that I could avoid waking the baby who just fell asleep after having a complete meltdown over nothing (as babies do).

2. Taking care of myself

Someone always needs me for something… Being sick, no matter how sick has absolutely no impact on the frequency that my presence and my doing of stuff is required. Also, chances are that if I’m sick… so are they, and they need me, so all the mommy stuff comes first. Having a cold is one thing… having a cold and being responsible for other people is another entirely. I never quite appreciated that moms get sick too until I was one, and all of my duties remained the same.

3. The house not exploding in mess that I had no part in creating and yet am required to clean.

This is a thing… a really really annoying, infuriating, foot stompingly frustrating thing… I don’t think that I need to elaborate.

4. Not worrying about a diminished or nonexistent sense of smell

Before children, not being able to smell was annoying, but didn’t have a huge impact on my life. Now when I can’t smell properly… I get unbelievably paranoid. Is something burning? Do I smell gas? Is the food thing that I intend to feed to my family full of smelly bacteria for some unforeseen reason? IS THAT POOP??? I ask the poop question a lot… it’s usually chocolate…

5. Bladder control

My bladder control is generally pretty good, however after two children pushing their way through my pelvic floor… it’s not as good as it used to be when I’m hacking up my lungs.

And does this always happen when I’ve forgotten to put on a panty liner?

Every. Friggin. Time.

I’m sure I could make this list longer… and wordier… but I’ve got to go do stuff… because I am literally sitting in a pile of used tissues, and you know… Mommy. *Jazz Hands*