How do you turn a dream into reality?

The very first thing Martin Villeneuve says in his talk "How I Made an Impossible Film" is:
'I made a film that was impossible to make, but I didn't know it was impossible, that's how I was able to do it.'

TED is all about new ideas, different perspectives, change. We all have dreams - big ones, little ones. Our dreams may have been with us since we were kids, they may have developed later in life. To pursue a dream, you need to defy the norm, step outside your comfort zone, take risks.

Based on his own experience, Martin says that you need love in the form of support, generosity, and creativity to achieve a dream. A problem can be seen as an opportunity. If you don't have money to offer people who can help you realize your dream, then you need to spark their own creativity, offer them the freedom and space to dream. As a result, he says, "Life will dance with you in the most amazing way".

What is needed to make a dream come true? Is achieving a dream something you can do all by yourself?

Jun 16 2013:
Contrary to what we usually believe about how we achieve our goals, there are few things that we achieve through individual brilliance and effort. If you really think about it, everyone we know has some role or other to play in what we do and who we are.

That being said, our dreams are our dreams alone until you find people to share it with. These people can be 'Partners' who share and implement your vision or they can be 'Assistants' who simply help you do what you want to do.

One thing I have learned is that there will be lots of people telling you that you can't make it. But you need only one person to tell you that you will. YOU....

Simple rules:

Life is short but meant to be beautiful...
Surround yourself with people who wish to see you live your dreams.
Inspire and help others to do what they want to do. They might become your support later.
Every day is a new day filled with 24 solid hours of opportunities.
Commit to your dream. If you don't chase your dream, who will?

Jun 13 2013:
A dream is a destination. Goals serve as the vehicle to get you there. Some goals require support from others. Some do not require outside support.

You need to think. Life becomes difficult at times. Being able to step back and analyze your situation is a key component of any success.

Think of your day as a bank account with 12 hours deposited into it every morning. Budget your time and set short-term goals to support your long-term goals. The dream will come true. However, you need to build the foundation for the dream to sit upon.

This is an extremely insightful approach, and a clear and realistic method to turn even the most impossible dreams into reality. I know, when I am caught up in a dream, I tend to drown myself in enthusiasm, when "Being able to step back and analyze your situation is a key component of any success." This is one area I'll definitely need to work on!

Jun 12 2013:
A dream by its very nature is something that we wish to realize which hasn't been brought to fruition. We usually approach a dream by weighing the steps required to achieve it--so many acts, so many doings, so many actions.

Yet, we find that people still fail to realize their dreams even after following all the steps, so something else is required, and that something else is what we're "being" while we're "doing" what we're doing. Being should precede doing, and doing should grow out of what we're being, and not the other way around.

If we get the "being" right, then we create our dreams--bring them to fruition--with ease, attracting to ourselves all that's needed for dream fulfillment.

So rather than asking only what it is we have do to realize our dreams, we should ask, too, what is it we have to be, and cling persistently to the being.

A wonderful book was written many years ago titled, "Wake Up & Live!", by Dorothea Brande. Brande discovered that most people, including herself, suffered from a will to fail. To combat this "will to fail," Brande developed a formula for success--in a nutshell, "Act as though it's impossible to fail.'

Reversing it, we get: It's impossible to fail (a state of being), [so] act as though.

She found that by using her formula, her output tripled, as well as the realization of her dreams, and she wrote an entire book to share her success formula.

By the way, you can read Brande's introduction to her book, as well as other pages that may be provided,
by using Amazon's "Look Inside" feature.

Jun 12 2013:
Will, thank you so much for this thoughtful contribution!
I agree so much with what you're saying, that a dream is often who we ARE, rather than what we will BECOME.

I remember, as a kid, being bombarded with that question 'what are you going to be when you grow up'? What an impossible question to ask a 5-year-old! I am 37, and I still don't know what I'm going to be. I AM a lot of the things I was when I was 5, when I was 11, when I was 22. And I AM a lot of things I didn't know I'd be... and who knows what I'll be tomorrow...

I've heard of "Wake up and Live" - in fact, I seem to remember having it at one time. Knowing me, I probably lent it out...!

Jun 12 2013:
As you probably know that many college, or even graduate students are psychologically acting as if it's most likely to fail, so they choose courses which are the easiest to pass, to facilitate the path leading to their degrees. Frequently, they would register in a course, then withdraw before the final exam was taken. Then they would try again next year. That kind of action is definitely "acting as if it's impossible to SUCCEED" at their first try. Of course, they avoided any difficult courses without even giving them a try.
I am a little embarrassed to illustrate the contrast with my own experience, but in order to tell what I was thinking at the time, I have to be the only person who could truly describe it.
When I told you about my changing my major fields of study when I went from Business Administration to Statistics, then from Statistics to Public Health and Biostatistics. The first switch was easy. In fact they welcomed me with open arms, and even tried very hard to keep me there to complete a PhD there. But I was considering what could help me to contribute to the society with my study and interests. However, in order to get a degree in public health which is considered a medical science, So according to the curriculum rules, I had to complete the required courses in anatomy. microbiology, physiology, immunology and public health administration. The faculty in public health were very considerate, they allowed me to finish the 3 of the 5 courses, and skip the first two. They said we have confidence in you to just audit these 2 and take the 3 advanced courses. Fortunately, I did pass these courses with some difficulty.
I could have remained in the Business School to get a MBA (possibly earn more money) in 2 years before the 1st switch. And an easier path to a PhD in Statistics before the 2nd switch. But the word "fail" never even occurred in my one-track mind then. Just like some soldier in the battlefield, the word "death" never occurred in his mind!

Jun 13 2013:
Bart, please realize, you're talking to someone who never even finished college! Please, feel in no way embarrassed about the choices you made to feel successful in your own way!

I don't know about you, but I have no regrets about the decisions I've made to end an unsuccessful situation. Constantly fighting, sailing into a head wind, was more destructive for me, as it turned out. And, despite the fact that I don't have any degrees, I've managed to achieve many goals, and even fulfill a dream or two along the way!

Jun 21 2013:
I believe for make your dreams come true is be obstinate and persistent, because if the people keep telling that your wrong and you won't do it, that will give you the strength for prove them they're wrong.

Jun 20 2013:
Lizanne, I think your comments and links to videos are typically what people in general do.

They look to someone else's experiences via books, dvd's and all matter of materials. What inherently they forget is that YOUR circumstances are different to those of the writers/speakers, be it time wise, financial wise, family wise, or any other wise.

What your forgetting, and if I was there having coffee with you, you'd be in big trouble for it :) Is your not looking at the child in you. Or the children you have... because therein lays the answer.

Ever notice how a child tries and tries, then when they cant get the pegs in the holes, ask for help, and when they get it how amazingly enthusiastic they are about the whole process. How every little challenge is one that will be overcome, by either themselves or the people they share the idea and goal with. How that enthusiasm can be contagious to all those close to them. And how when they have completed it, they want to run around and show and share that very success with everyone and everyone that was a part of it.

So watch that "how i made an impossible" again, and see how that relates to the above paragraph, and then know all you need do is, don't try to fit yourself into a circumstance, make your circumstances fit you.

Jun 20 2013:
Goodness me, how I turned mine into reality... well in all seriousness... I don't believe they are a dream.

And by not believing it, you don't get caught up in that mindset of wondering how others did/do, and you're more able to focus on the item(s) at hand.

Rather like the child with the bricks that just fits them into the holes. Do they believe it can't be done? And honestly ask yourself what really cant be done? Most is just learning and applying that knowledge - see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3907559.stm

is that any different from the understanding a long distance runner about the techniques he must use and the practice he must perform?

Jun 21 2013:
I so agree, Tify. This was what I meant below, about a dream having the same definition as a goal. I also perceive my dreams to be very real and accessible, even when they seem impossible to others.
We compare ourselves to each other, which is how we learn and grow and find our place in the world, but when it comes to dreams, there is simply no comparison. How we achieve a dream is just as unique as the dream itself.

Jun 14 2013:
Nothing is more exciting than witnessing, or being instrumental, in that transition of energy - from the abstract to the tangible. I love how you describe it as energy, that's definitely what it feels like, doesn't it!

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Jun 11 2013:
Like Martin says in his talk, external influences can also be destructive. Sharing a dream with anyone is a risk, they could say "You'll never do it", or "Don't quit your day job!" They could laugh, they could scoff.

You mention in your comment that people shouldn't be too rigid in their goals. What if we changed the word 'dream' into the word 'goal'?
"My dream is to achieve what I've always wanted."
or
"My goal is to achieve what I've always wanted."
For some reason, the second phrase sounds more plausible.

I agree about writing things down. I keep a 'dream notebook' in two of the most important places in my house - next to my bed, and next to the toilet. Places where we can be alone (granted, as a Mom of 2 kids, the bathroom is no longer the sacred place of solitude it once was), where we have time and freedom to self-explore and day-dream, are where the best ideas surface.

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Jun 11 2013:
Absolutely true, LaMar. Looking at it that way makes it even more achievable!

I think it's important to conquer the misconception that dreams are 'impossible', the way Martin did, and Richard, the 11-year-old who made peace with lions and is well on his way to making his dream a reality.

Jun 12 2013:
The challenges of sharing your dream with others, has less to do with your dream and more to do with the people you share it with. Some people do not believe that a person can create their own future or achieve a dream, and so will tear down your dream and you for attempting to achieve your dream. But if you share your dream with like minded persons who are in the same process they will be supportive. Whether in business or a creative endeavvor like Martin's, it is imperative to "vision cast" so that others can see what you vision is and that you are committed to it. Once they can see it they will support w funds, time, effort, counsel and more.

We need more people like Martin who see their own dream as it will be when it is finished and complete, and then start the creative process toward that end. This will attract those needed to make the dream come true and improve the quality of the lives of each person who participates.

Jun 12 2013:
Such a good point, Joseph.
I agree, you need to be selective when sharing a dream that's close to your heart. Sometimes, a dream just can't be scrutinized, it needs to just BE. And some people may not accept that.

Jun 11 2013:
Most people have a dream to achieve certain goals, and dreams even when they were very young. Of course, they may change their goals every once for a while. So, I believe that one could be as successful as others to reach his/her goal as a moving target instead of a fixed one. However, the more important thing is not to tell many people about it, because people will usually laugh about it or offer some encouragement, but these are no help in achieving your goals. The best strategy is to quietly, persistently and SINGLEMINDEDLY working toward one's dream goal. That means that you would give up anything for the realization of your dream(s). This is really what the Bengali young woman mentioned in Pabitra's post did.
The goals can be changed in stages. For instance when I gave up a newly promoted position as the treasurer of a large insurance company, just to resume my study for graduate degrees, first a M.A., then a PhD. Also during my graduate study, I changed twice the major fields in my degree programs in consideration of how I could contribute more to humanity after my graduation.
I would put the most important component of success as the single-minded commitment. If you believe yourself, you don't need consultation, unless graciously given, because it would only detract your determinations, and encouragement or praise is not needed.

Jun 11 2013:
Bart, thanks for this.
I am really beginning to understand the difference between a dream and a goal - which is interesting, because it wasn't even part of my question. (I love getting answers to questions I forgot to ask!)
A goal can change.
A dream doesn't.

Jun 11 2013:
Every dream is achievable provided one has it sufficiently long, live it and orients one's life for it. I think dream is not a goal, an additional milestone with having life in a given course. Rather, a dream can be achieved when the whole purpose of life is to see it coming true.
A month ago, a middle class ordinary Bengali young woman changed her life to fulfill her dream : to climb mount Everest. First she lost a married life (her husband divorced her), next she sold her earthly possession to gather money (half of it because climbing mount Everest is not a cheap business) and next she gave up her day job. At this point she looked quite silly to put her life on a bet - but she admitted that none of these appeared as any sacrifice to her, rather these were necessary steps that empowered and freed her. You can imagine why a sponsor came forward to finance the rest of expedition and it was no surprise that she stood on the top of the world soon thereafter. You can also imagine that now she can get the double back for things she gave up. I think this is a good example of achieving a dream.
Many dreams are achieved without such sensational stories but the essential formula remains the same. One cannot lose if one is ready yo lose everything for making a dream come true.
Is achieving a dream something you can do all by yourself? No. Actually we fail to realize that we are so deeply social that our every effort, action, endeavor and wish are subliminally influenced by so many.

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Jun 20 2013:
there is only one problem with this way of search engine optimization, namely, it is an abuse of forums, which results in ban, hatred, angry comments, possible filing of a report to your ISP, and such things.

Jun 21 2013:
lizanne, i'm very sorry for filling your conversation with this garbage below. i expected the entire thing to be deleted, but for some reason, a good half of it is left here. please flag them if you want them out. maybe it helps.

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Jun 17 2013:
By force :D
I try,try,try and try if it didn`t work, I change the way and try it in a new way to make my dream real. I say so because I believe when I have a dream,God has given me the power to make it real !

He suggests that telling others about your goals, can be demotivating, according to psychological studies.
"Telling someone your goal, makes it less likely to happen". If you want to achieve a goal, he says, there are steps that need to be taken to do so. But, if you tell someone about your goal, and they acknowledge it, psychologists have discovered that your mind tricks itself into believing that you've already taken those steps, resulting in a level of satisfaction that makes your original goal no longer attractive.

In this conversation, we're talking about the difference between goals and dreams. I wonder, does this psychological 'trick' we play on ourselves, also apply to our dreams?

Jun 11 2013:
No Lizanne, that trick does not apply to our dreams. Please recall Martin Luthar King's speech : I have a dream. A dream demands audacity of hope so it is reinforced with eloquent admission. A goal is just one milestone of many and you should admit it only when you pass by it.
You have one or very few dreams in a lifetime but very many goals.
Please live with it for some time with introspection and you will hear the call in your heart.

Jun 11 2013:
It is worth considering whether this is also true of dreams. In my opinion, the answer is not clear and may be different for different people.

One good reason not to keep a dream or goal secret is needing other people's help. If you need other people's help to make something happen, you are probably best off not keeping a dream or goal a secret.

I have known people who have, in my opinion, over-allocated time to telling people about their dreams and under-allocated time to doing the work to make their dreams come true.

Jun 12 2013:
I agree, Fritzie.
It all depends on what your dream is, doesn't it. And if it's something you can achieve on your own, or not.

I personally think a dream and a goal can be the same thing, because my dream has a certain flexible quality, perhaps. It has changed over the years, but the main purpose has remained the same - to share and hopefully enlighten! The dream has gone from something very abstract into something more concrete, more attainable, making it feel more like a goal, than 'just a dream'.

Jun 12 2013:
I think of 'to share and hopefully enlighten" more as a near universal value than a dream. The dramatic success of the social networks arises in large part from the almost universal value or pleasure people get from sharing.

I think many of us are guided by values that we pursue in a variety of changing ways over time. Maybe most of us are.

Jun 13 2013:
I had truly never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely right.
My dreams all have to do with other people. I have no desire for fame or fortune, my dreams often have to do with encouraging others to follow theirs!

I agree, that we are guided by our values, which can often determine which paths we take in life.

Jun 10 2013:
By the way, Lizanne, I got a thumbs-up on my first comment from Martin Villeneuve himself, the filmmaker, he is a member of the TED community, looks like he's follwing your convo. You can check out his profile if you want, send him an email.

Jun 10 2013:
Before I mentioned that I think courage is important in life. I think there are at least two things one can do to help oneself succeed in situations that require courage. One is to accept that where one displays courage one will meet resistance, rejection, and criticism, and one must be prepared to handle those well. I'll give you an example, but I'm afraid, Lizanne, that since you're a musician, I'm going to blow my cool with you. I lived for ten years in Los Angeles, and about midway through those ten years I started to become more sensitive to all the noise around me. My neighbors were continually playing their radios and stereos, and it was coming through the walls into my apartment, and it was driving me crazy. So I started going to them and asking them to turn their stereos down, or off, and I did have to suffer some criticism, that is, getting yelled at, and having doors slammed in my face. Many people, I think, would be so daunted by this that they would cease asking, they would simply sit in their apartment and endure hour after hour of listening to other people's music. But you have to ask yourself, how much does it hurt one to be yelled at, or have a door slammed in one's face? It's unpleasant for five seconds, but then the neighbor would turn the stereo off, so I would have five hours of blissful silence. It was worth it.

The other thing that can help one's courage is to become informed about laws that might apply to one's situation. In this situation with my neighbors, I did learn the laws in the city code about noise, and that way I had an objective standard, I could see what their rights were, what my rights were, and it was all there in black and white. It still is scary to go knock on a door and ask someone to turn down their music, but with these two techniques in my back pocket, it was easier.

Music is tough. I love it, but it's pretty awful to be forced to listen to someone else's music.

Jun 11 2013:
Greg, courage is KEY. Yes! It also is founded by what Colleen said, belief in it, with all your heart.

With regards to your quest against noise pollution, I have done the same thing. I live in a rural area in the woods, but where there are people, there is still this need to turn up the volume as if no one else is around. It's disrespectful, it's invasive and it's totally unnecessary.

As a music-lover and a musician, I am as sensitive to noise pollution as anyone else, perhaps even more so. Once, my husband and I heard this insanely loud music coming from somewhere, so we jumped in the car and actually tracked down the noise to ask them to turn it down. Yes, we've been met with aggression, but we've also had instances where people simply did not realize it was THAT loud. Sometimes, they had left the music blaring on outside, when they were all quietly chatting inside!

Jun 12 2013:
Right. Yes, I hadn't read Colleen's comment, but that sounds logical, that you would have to believe in your dream, at least 51%.

Yes, I keep the idea about integrating music in the back of my head, although I don't use it that often. I think maybe I'm going to ask my mom, who is the person I talk to the most, if she would be taken aback if I ever started singing what I wanted to say to her instead of speaking it. That would sort of prepare her for it. But you know, liz, one problem with this idea is that even if you sing your idea, the other person usually is going to talk back to you, they're not going to sing back, so there's going to be some unbalance. For instance, my mother is a fairly conservative sort, conformist, she's not going to sing an answer back simply because it's not what most people do.

Occasionally when walking I'll make up songs and sing them to myself as I walk. I came upon my niece watching TV and she didn't get up to hug me, so I started singing "Oh, my little niece is the coolest, smartest little girl, but she just loves that TV, sometimes she just ignores me when I come in the room." I guess she heard that because she gave me a big smile and came over and gave me a big hug. Probably by singing it sounded cuter and less strident and caught her attention more.

I'm still trying to find uses for the tongue that would justify tongue exercises. I realized that when you squeeze the toothpaste onto the brush, there's often a little tip of toothpaste hanging out the tube hole. I like to push that back in with my tongue before I screw the lid back on the tube. But most people might say it's gross, cause the next person who squeezes out toothpaste is going to get a little of your saliva when your tongue touched the toothpaste.

One thing that surprises me, L, is you often mention silence as just a silence to think up new musical ideas. I like silence as a chance to think about all kinds of things.

Jun 13 2013:
Hey Greg,
I think you may have misunderstood somewhere along the line about the whole integrating music thing.

First of all, it is by no means a replacement for good ole conversation, I am by no means suggesting the world turn into a musical and we all burst jnto song at each other. My goodness, no! It is a method, to be done alone, or in a group, or as a parent with your children, in a conscious effort to encourage that cycle of respect, communication and expression. It may not be something you WANT to share with someone else.

Secondly, I think whenever the subject of appreciating silence has come up, it happened to be about music. I have made comments on other topics in which the importance of silence has come up with reference to self-reflection, internal communication, alone-time, that indeed has nothing to do with music.

I adore your thoughts and appreciate all you have to say, Greg, but please don't put me in a category, by suggesting everything I say here has to do with music! I am more than that!! :)

Jun 14 2013:
yes, I was thinking last night maybe that's what you were getting at, L. I guess I thought that even though in your videos you talked about doing it with your children, you never said it only had to be done with children. But it does seem easier to do it with children, right off the bat. I tend to think it could be done with adults, but not all the time, just once in a while, it kind of mixes things up, I'm all for variety as you perhaps remember. Can you imagine if for example the President of the United States stepped to the podium to make a speech, and suddenly started singing all his ideas, like an opera singer, well it would definitely mix it up. I suppose if we imagined people singing to each other in ordinary situations, it might give us some new ideas for operas we could create, or rock musicals.

I am glad you appreciate silence for multi reasons. When I say silence, I might mean quiet, perhaps conversation, a TV quietly going. As wonderful as music is, there's something about it for me that when it's playing, it's hard to think about or do anything else. Sometimes that's good, sometimes bad. I'm a bit older than you, at your age I was music-crazy, sounds like you're more mature than me.

I keep working on finding the rationale for the tongue exercises. Sometimes I do tongue exercises for several hours, just moving my tongue around inside my mouth while I do other things, and Lizanne, it's really tiring! Sometimes I then have to rest for hours or a day, tongue exercises are really exercise! But I still can't think how to justify them to other people, as most people will say what's the point in getting your tongue stronger?

Another way to achieve a dream is to get each step right, be patient and solve each little challenge that arises as you try to get the big thing.