IVAN LAJARA: You are a lazy voter, YOU BUM!

Attention good-for-nothing, lazy, lame and irresponsible voters of New York state: Ulster County legislators will like you to know they think you are lazy, lame and irresponsible.

A recent proposal in the county was introduced to consider early voting in the state, and by considering, we mean considering stupid excuses to not allow early voting.

You'd think this would be one of those things where people can't possibly oppose, because, you know, democracy and all that. After all, favoring early voting is akin to favoring babies, or cute kitties and dogs or the survival of pandas.

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BUT NOOOOOOOOO!

The baby, kitty, doggie and panda-hating legislators of Ulster County actually found incredible tortured reasons for why early voting is a bad idea, a bad idea that's the law of the land in the majority of states in the union, we should mention for no reason whatsoever.

For instance, Legislator Bob Aiello, R-some place in Bizarro Ulster, said that early voting was "a lame excuse for somebody who isn't going to vote anyway."

You see, nobody votes! So why make it easier for more people to not vote?

But not content with making absolutely no sense, Aiello further added, "All we do is make it easier and easier and easier for everybody, and nobody's responsible for their own actions, and I have a problem with that."

That's right, an Ulster County legislator who is elected with votes has a problem with your wanting to vote.

"If you can't get out on the day to vote, I don't think we should readjust the calendar because of that," said Aiello, foot firmly in mouth.

Seriously, disabled people or working moms or commuters or anyone who might want to vote on Election Day but can't, what's your problem?

The resolution, called "Opposing The Passage Of State Legislation To Allow Early Voting, Or To Allow Counties To Opt-In To Early Voting Opportunities, And For The State To Fully Fund Any And All Increased Costs Associated With Early Voting And We Don't Want More People To Vote Because They Might Not Vote For Us And If You Read This Far Down Into The Name Of This Resolution Give Yourself A Medal And We Hate Babies, Kitties, Doggies and Pandas" or something like that, was proposed by baby-hater and Majority Leader Kenneth Ronk, who had a slightly less lame excuse for improving democracy.

To paraphrase, Ronk said something like, "It costs money! And everyone votes anyway, except for those who don't and we don't want them to vote, because they might be on a wheelchair and cant' get to the voting booth on Election Day! So shut up! I hate babies!"

Ronk added that "some of the most important things can happen in the two weeks before an election" and that voters can't possibly make up their minds before that? REALLY?

The vote on this resolution, we should point out, was 13-9, so not everyone in the Legislature is completely bananas and a baby hater.

We hope.

Important questions rise from this issue:

What is the real "problem" with making "it easier and easier and easier for everybody" to vote?

Why do Ulster County legislators hate babies?

Who won American Idol?

Is the mayor of Kingston still angry?

When is Election Day?

There's some voting to do.

CORRECTION: Ulster County legislators do not actually hate babies. OR DO THEY?