Thursday, January 16, 2014

Celebrity Death's Come In Threes

With today's latest troika of celebrity deaths, I thought I'd post my poem about the death of Ed McMahon. Today we lost three actors known for their iconic characters: Russell Johnson, the Professor on Gilligan's Island; Dave Madden, the Partridge Family's manager; and one of the last living Munchkins, Ruth Robinson Duccini. I love it how if two "celebrities" die in any roughly 24 hour period, the search for something resembling a third celebrity death begins. I'm sure the Munchkin was a delightful lady, but ...Whiskey Spills, Bad Lovers, and Celebrity Deaths Come In Threes"You know Johnny fuckedFarrah Fawcett when sheWas still on Charlies' Angels,"Says celebrity sidekick EdMcMahon from behind a ScotchToo cheap for an ex MarineTo a second rate bartender/actorPaying too little attention."And he always said that MichaelJackson was a fucking child molester,"Says McMahon, pretending not to noticeThe celebrtity tabloid showFlickering in the corner.As late night sidekick Ed McMahon'sShaky hand spills a third trickleOf rot gut onto the bar he knowsBack home his trophy wifeAnd the three Pekignese are alreadyStaring at the couch likeThey're seeing a ghost.Ex Marine Ed McMahon beckonsThe two-bit bartender closerAnd offers: "I can only tell youOne thing kid: Whiskey spills,Bad lovers, and celebrityDeaths come in threes."Pin It