Embracing Chronic Illness

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My Best Interest

I had an interesting therapy session today, and it really caused me to think. I had to admit getting a puppy was a pretty irresponsible decision. I mean, there is a long list of valid reasons why it was a bad idea. However, despite everything, I still feel like getting Hamilton was the right decision for me.

You see, I’ve been struggling to take care of myself for over a year now. I’ve been at my lowest lows and I don’t want to go back there. I’ve climbed this far and I want to see how far I can go. I want to prove to myself that I can take care of this puppy, because if I can, then maybe I really can raise a child.

I make a lot of jokes about not wanting kids, or waiting till later in life but the truth is, I would already have children if I could.

So was getting a puppy to take care of, nurture and teach irresponsible? Definitely. Did it make sense financially or physically? No way. However, was getting the puppy in my best interest? Absolutely.

I want to be challenged. My chronic illness will never go away and I will always have hurdles more frequently than others I know. Even though I continue to trip, fall and bleed, I continue the race. So I’m banged up with tear stained cheeks, it doesn’t mean I quit. I want to know if I could be a good mother to a child, so I’m trying with a puppy.

This experience makes me happy, therefore, I really believe I’m doing what is in my best interest. That’s all one can do in life.