Hit me baby

Have you ever wanted to — how should I say this — open a big can of whoop ass on Santa?

The holiday hustle and bustle is getting to you, and the idea of taking it out on the guy in the red suit would be somewhat cathartic?

Here’s your chance.

California artist Michael Oddo, who is internationally known for his work in oil, has created a line of wooden ornaments that depict St. Nick, that jolliest of elves, being tortured, executed, beaten, electrocuted and — coming soon — hanged by an evil dwarf.

Ho Ho No!

Oddo didn’t premeditate these crimes against Christmas. Four years ago, he was invited to an ornament exchange party where everyone was required to make their own. His annoyance with the event — and at how much money people spend on the holidays overall — resulted in his first “Suffering Santa” wooden ornament: Santa on a guillotine, his head in a basket.

People at the party lost theirs over the wooden masterpiece — sorry, it had to be said — and Oddo found himself taking orders for more. He hasn’t built a website, but he does takes online orders on his Facebook page (once he friends you, of course). They run around $100 each. And he says he is open to licensing his ornaments to a major retailer if there is interest.