My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something
shiny that goes from " to atilla in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a
gas station.
And then the fight started...
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the
counter asked me for my driver' s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back
later. The woman said, "mehbutton your shirt" so I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She
said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, "Ton should have dropped your pants. ‘I" might have gotten disability, too."
And then the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady
swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
Av wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "'She’ s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hunk been sober since."
My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
HI have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He asked, " you worried about the mad cow?"
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says
to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, “four eyesight’ s damn near perfect.’
And then the fight started..."
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for . 95. Instead, she bought a Jar of cold
cream for . I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore
yesterday. " "
And then the fight stari: ed..... Hope you enjoyed this post',