Posts Tagged ‘beliefs’

“The next time your core beliefs are challenged — try being curious instead of furious.”

This one golden nugget can make an absolutely huge difference in your personal effectiveness.

As discussed in Adversaries into Allies, as human beings we are basically run by an operating system or “belief system” we don’t even realize we are run by. Yes, we are conscious of many of our beliefs…we’re just not conscious of being controlled by them. Or, of our emotional attachment to them.

That’s why it’s so easy to become defensive when someone says something that runs contrary to our beliefs.

But, is that other person wrong? Maybe they are. Are they right? Could be. Are they neither wrong nor right but just see things differently than you do? That’s also a possibility.

However, the only way we can be in a position to explore those possibilities is to reason them out with a sense of conscious-based logic rather than to react unconsciously and defensively.

If you want to be an Ultimate Influencer, a great leader, and the most effective human being possible, it’s imperative that you allow your core beliefs to be put to the test.

That doesn’t mean you should be so open-minded that your brains fall out. But curious enough to consider some alternate possibilities.

Imagine owning a rental property and not screening your prospective tenants before allowing them to move in. I mean, wouldn’t you do a credit and background check, and perhaps even ask for references? Sure, because to make the decision to let someone impact your valuable property should not be made without as much thought and consideration as humanly possible!

How much more important is it then to make sure that, before you allow people (and their thoughts, opinions, belief systems, etc.) into your brain — your MOST valuable property — you do the same?

And, if it looks as though they could in any way damage that property, gently encourage them to look elsewhere.

No vacancies here. This is your mind we’re talking about.

Melissa, you up for another coffee tweet? I like your style!

Of course, awesome readers…may I ask, how do you do at protecting your most valuable property? And, what are the best ways you’ve found to do that?

A great friend of mine is an expert in his field. It’s a field that — while growing — is still under-the-radar in terms of mass consciousness. He writes and speaks about it but often feels as though his words are falling on deaf ears.

He also feels as though sometimes he comes on too strong in terms of communicating his message. He writes:

“I just hate sounding like a freakin’ know-it-all sometimes Bob. People must get really tired of me talking about this. Heck…most people don’t even believe it!!!”

I feel for him because I know he has huge belief and feels that — as people come to understand and embrace this — they, and the world as a whole, will be better off for it.

May I explore two points regarding my friend’s concern:

Minor point: our world is such that most don’t easily accept that which is different from their already-established beliefs. If and when these particular ideas are accepted en masse it will happen over time. Remember, it took “sliced bread” (i.e., “the greatest thing since…”) 20 years after it’s invention to catch on. So, enjoy the journey of educating and enlightening whomever you can, but don’t be attached to the outcome. Some will get it. Most won’t.

Major point: my general feeling is that people don’t mind being taught so long as they don’t feel the teacher is telling them that they have the “only real” answer…even when the teacher truly believes they have it.

That’s why, as “unfair” as it seems, the people who succeed aren’t necessarily the ones who have the exceptional idea, product, service, solution, etc., but are able to communicate it in such a way that others desire to receive it.

Esther Hicks writes, “Even in your rightness about a subject, when you try to push your rightness toward another who disagrees, no matter how right you are, it causes more pushing against. In other words, it isn’t until you stop pushing that any real allowing of what you want can take place.”