What do you know?Ben Conner

Pose an original question and answer it.

Pose an original question and answer it.

The traditional greetings of the hipsters in my area never really caught on with me. A “What’s popping?” or “Holla at yo’ boy?” coming out of my mouth would’ve screamed “trying too hard,” so I always refrained. Instead, my greeting of choice is to catch unsuspecting victims off guard with a casual “What do you know?” I like to attribute this to my constant quest for knowledge, but it’s more likely a combination of my acerbic wit, personable nature, and underlying desire for dominion, as the victims typically become submissive after this subliminal assertion of power (It’s a problem, I know. I’m working on it). Seeing as I’ve flustered countless numbers of victims with this technique, I think it’s time that I explore my own answer to this question. I don’t know if I’ll get to enjoy the same feeling of superiority that usually accompanies, but it’s all for the sake of fairness.

What do you know?

I know that the majority of suicides occur on a Monday, the plane attendants at the end of Casablanca were actually midgets, Bill Gates’ house was designed by a Macintosh computer, and tampering with someone else’s crab pot is a felony in Florida. These tidbits of knowledge represent my love for the...