In a recent Reddit post, one user shared a screenshot of a bride's list of demands for her big day.The post starts innocently enough, with the bride (whose name has been redacted) greeting guests and discussing her upcoming Hawaiian wedding. After announcing that she has picked out a dress code, she begins listing her outrageous wedding-day requirements for her guests.

“I am giving you a long notice of a year and a half so that you will have time to find and pick out something nice," she writes. “The dress code is very specific because it will be used to create an incredible visual effect. If done right, it will make our synchronized dancing along the [redacted] beach really pop.”

In case you're still giving her the benefit of the doubt (hey, most weddings have dress code requirements, right?), the next few sections should quickly change your mind. The bride proceeds to categorize the dress code by guests' weight, and requesting a color scheme so bizarre we're getting a headache trying to imagine it. The following is the exact dress code, as the bride writes in her post:

WOMEN (100-160 LBS)

-GREEN Velvet Sweater

-ORANGE Suede Pants

-Loubotin [sic] heels (the famous RED heeled shoes. when we spin and lift our feet, the effect will amaze you)

-Burberry Scarf

MEN (100-200 LBS)

-PURPLE Fuzzy Jacket

-Soda Hat

-All White Trainers

-Plain Glow Sticks

WOMEN (160 LBS+)

-all BLACK sweater and pants. Any material.

-BLACK heels

MEN (200 LBS+)

-all CAMOFLAGE [sic]

-BLACK sneakers

CHILDREN

-RED from head to toe. Remember the kids will form the shape of a heart, it needs to be true red not blood orange or some bull****."

There are so many nauseating aspects of the preceding paragraphs, we truly don't know where to begin. What "visual effect" is she going for, exactly? What in the world is a soda hat? What non-military individual owns a head-to-toe camo outfit?

If you're still with us after all of that, there's one final kicker that will really put you over the edge. The bride added a final paragraph, finishing off her note with one last requirement: Everyone's outfit needs to be valued at $1,000 or more. "Additionally, we will require that you wear formal attire after the dancing has ended. Please bring a change of clothing. Remember, the venue is extremely upscale, and we want to be looking our absolute BEST ladies and gents," she writes. "Please, if you look like trash, so will we. All jokes aside, we want you to invest in an outfit valued at at least $1,000. This includes jewelry, accessories, makeup, and hair. Remember ladies and gents, this wedding is 24k themed for a reason."We're not sure what part of "extremely upscale" involves camo and categorizing your wedding guests by weight—but hey, we weren't invited to this "24k" wedding, so we guess we'll never know.

Naturally, the internet lost it when they saw her wild requirements, and her story quickly became viral—which did not sit well with the bride. The woman, whose name has been redacted from the posts, has sent out a another set of demands for her guests in an effort to track down the person(s) responsible for making her absurd rules public on social media.

“It has come to my attention that someone went all the way down in this group’s creation to screenshot the dress code requirements,” she wrote in a follow-up Facebook post. “I could not be more crushed, betrayed, or saddened… I trust each and every one of you so intimately. Knowing someone went behind my back and made fun of me is one of the worst feelings.”

The bride then went onto share that she would be hosting a "Polygraph Party" to find out who leaked the original post—a soirée which will include dinner, drinks, and of course, a $99 polygraph test that she bought on Amazon. The snitch will be formally uninvited to the wedding, and the bride will "cut all ties and communication" with them. But fear not: If you're a disgruntled guest who is dissatisfied with the synchronization, the bride offers plenty of other opportunities to contribute to her big day.

The bride added, “Instead of participating in the dance, you can help the crew clean up after dinner, volunteer to take videos of our dance, or even contribute to the honeymoon. Anything counts.”

So in case you were still feeling generous enough to attend this wedding, you can take solace in the fact that you might get ratted out as a snitch or get placed on wedding day KP duty. Sounds like a blast!