The ramblings and complaints of a newly minted Canadian, plus plenty of rants related to sports, music and whatever else irks me.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Welcome to The Hoser’s NFL Picks 2009 Week 15, where we're just flat out of time.

The Hoser continued to roll in Week 14, posting a 10-6 record against the spread and 12-4 straight up. The Cowboys didn’t let us down, choking one off against the Chargers to nail down the Lock. Unfortunately, Arizona and its amazing juggling act cost us the Trifecta. Can’t have everything – where would you put it? (Remind me to send a nickel to Steven Wright.)

Many of these lines are lifted from vegasinsider.com because Danny Sheridan wouldn’t list the lines on games with major injuries. We understand, but we don’t have that problem because our picks are about as scientific as a Baptist revival.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as waiting until the last minute and buying your wife's gifts at the 7-11.

Indianapolis (-3) at JACKSONVILLE [43]: Apparently the Jaguar mascot got hung up 100 feet in the air over the field before last week's game. Pretty fitting metaphor for Jacksonville's progress this season, huh? Colts 23, Jaguars 17.

Dallas (+7.5) at NEW ORLEANS [53.5]: Think the Cowboys have started booking their February golf outings yet? Saints 31, Cowboys 23.

Green Bay (+2) at PITTSBURGH [41]: Ah, we remember when Mike Tomlin was a young genius. Didn't that happen to Eric Mangini? Packers 22, Steelers 19.

New England (-7) at BUFFALO [40.5]: Functioning without an offensive coordinator this season, the Patriots have had trouble scoring. Too bad you can’t say the same for that mascot dude. Patriots 24, Bills 14.

Arizona (-12) at DETROIT [46.5]: If the Cardinals turn the ball over seven times this week, they’re still going to win, aren’t they? Cardinals 37, Lions 17.

San Francisco (+8) at PHILADELPHIA [42.5]: The Hoser released 49ers tight end Vernon Davis from his fantasy team last season. Twice. No, we're not winning our league this year, either. Eagles 27, 49ers 17.

Houston (-10) at ST. LOUIS [43]: The line on this game is delayed because Rams quarterback Marc Bulger may be sidelined again. We can’t figure out if that would move it for or against St. Louis, though. Texans 29, Rams 16.

Oakland (+14) at DENVER [37]: This is a statement game. For the Broncos, it's a chance to solidify their playoff hopes. For the Raiders, it's another chance to say, "Yes, we completely fucked up our last few first-round draft picks." Broncos 31, Raiders 13.

Tampa Bay (+6.5) at SEATTLE [39.5]: These two teams should skip the game and have an "Ugliest Alternate Uniform" catwalkoff. Seahawks 27, Buccaneers 17.