Monday, November 23, 2009

As I consider the approaching holiday, I am overwhelmed by how completely and utterly thankful I am! I cannot believe the blessings God has given me, in my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my church. And I try to take notice of them daily, not just when Thanksgiving rolls around again. There is so much to be thankful for!

I am a wife, a mom, and most importantly a child of God. He has chosen me (Isaiah 41:9) which I think is beautiful and humbling. And the fact that “all the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be” (Psalm 139:16) is just overwhelming. He loves me. Not because of what I’ve done or haven’t done. He loves me where I am, imperfect and sinful. I walk through my day with fleeting thoughts of Him and he waits patiently for my return. Who else would do that? In my darkest times, “the Lord is my light and the one who saves me” (Psalm 27:1). It hasn’t always felt that way. I was living in darkness for a long time and didn’t even know it. Yes, God has always been present in my life, but I never truly got it, got Him, until I was in my late 20’s. I have truly been on a journey with Him and it is such a blessing to be able to look back and see His hand in it all.“Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise!” (Psalm 96:4)

Thank you, Adam, for being my husband, for better and for worse, rich or poor, sickness and health. Watching God work in your life brings me closer to Him. Thank you for your enduring love, for trusting me, and letting me be your helpmeet (Genesis 2:18).

I am so thankful for my beautiful children! Precious time spent with them, seeing them learn and grow, watching them laugh and dance and sing...Ellie's laugh and helpful heart-Caleb's sense of humor and love for others-...my heart is overjoyed at the priviledge I have being a Mom to these children.

My loving family, my loyal & supportive friends, my church family...I am so thankful for each and every one of you. You encourage, strengthen, and support me and I am so grateful! I am a better person because you are in my life!

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving! And may you all know what a blessing you are to me!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

There are days when I have doubts. There are times when it doesn't make sense. Sometimes I feel disconnected. I talk and I don't know if anyone's listening. Sometimes, I feel swept up in life, the duties, the errands, the responsibilities, that I forget all about Him.

But then, there are times...when I see and feel Him moving. I see Him drawing people together, arranging circumstances, making things happen. His presense in these times is overpowering. In all of my efforts to make sense of things, things just don't make sense. The world calls it coincidence, fate, karma. I call it God. Only God could work all the particulars out, down to the tiniest details.

There is something more out there. There just is. It may take faith to believe it. And it's by grace that we accept Him and by grace that He moves and acts in our lives. If we believe He is good, then we must believe that everything he does is for good...our good.

So no, I don't have it all figured out. I don't have all of the answers. But it's hard to not believe in a God that changes lives. A God that redeems the worst of people and works through them for His glory. A God that helps us through the struggles, knowing we will wind up being better for it if we just persevere (James 1:12). Afterall, He promises in all things to work for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28) and He is demonstrating that promise in my life and my husband's life daily.

So many times, particularly during a trial, we wonder "Why is God doing this to me?" I think this passage is a reminder that He's not.

"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth..."JAMES 1:13-18

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About Me

I am a 30-something woman finding hope in all seasons. I married my high school sweetheart and I'm Mom to 2 beautiful children. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I'm a singer, photographer, video editor, and writer. Jesus changed my life — loving me, healing me, redeeming me and my marriage.