MND Musings - This is a record of a chronic illness, Primary Lateral Sclerosis, a Motor Neurone disorder, like a slow MND / ALS. My body may not be very cooperative; in fact it's become as stubborn as a donkey, but I'm not dead yet.

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Thankfully, looking back

Well, it’s been quite a year, in my
book.Internationally, it’s been a
bit of a mess, with seemingly endless blood-letting and just some hopeful
glimmers such as the breakthrough in the Iranian nuclear talks.Nationally, it’s hard to know what to
think, with, apparently, economic recovery on its way (hurray!) and yet,
clearly, standards of living still falling and food-banks multiplying.So leaving things too complicated for
me aside, let me reflect on my own past twelve months.

Early in the year, the two big
ecclesiastical appointments caused me to suspect that the Almighty hadn’t
nodded off.He’s the one to break
the mould – and in Justin Welby first and then in Jorge Mario Bergoglio the world was suddenly
faced with an Archbishop and a Pope of very different characters from any of their
predecessors right back to the first century.Justin Welby today concurred with Time magazine’s identification of Pope
Francis as Man of the Year.I must
say for me they are both outstanding examples of Christian leadership, men with the
moral mettle to practise what they preach. Francis “almost persuades me” to be a Catholic - good thing Justin's there too!

I’ve been kept quite busy talking about ending life well, a number of
times at St Mellitus’ College in West London and a couple of times on TV.The former I especially enjoyed.I suppose it was partly the erstwhile
teacher in me; and it was partly having a sympathetic audience prepared to take
the trouble to understand my gob-stoppered speech.It’s something, as you know, that I feel strongly about, and
which I think is under threat in the very country where the hospice movement
began.As Dame Cicely Saunders,
its pioneer, once said, “You matter because you are you. You matter
to the last moment of your life, and we will do all we can, not only to help
you die peacefully, but also to live until you die.”That should be the motto
of all geriatric and terminal care.

Well, certainly, helped by Jane and
family and friends, this year I have continued to live – and to live a
fulfilled life.I have had moments
of desperate frustration, part and parcel, as a friend of mine recently put it,
of“The joy and depths of this
terrible, painful and yet wonderful journey of loss, disability and dependence
- the gift
that has been given to us.”Yet I
have had times of great joy, such as the week’s holiday with all our family in
the middle of Devon in the sunniest August for years; getting down and into the
sea perched on a bulbous bouncing beach wheelchair; getting to know our
daughter’s rapidly growing special needs’ therapy puppy, and getting to know
new friends.

Two particularly special friends we made this year are Esther and her partner, Julie.It’s not
often that a chance encounter completely changes one - I'd call it a "God-moment".But hearing Esther explaining vividly the prolonged pain and exclusion she’d endured among Christians because of her sexual
orientation was the final confirmation for me that I and many like me had long been
responsible for a gross injustice in the very community which should be marked
by justice and love.Followers of
this blog will perhaps remember that I have long admired faithfulness in
same-sex friendships.However now
I believe something more, and that is that sexual orientation is not a
lifestyle choice, but an innate given, or gift.How can we withhold love and welcome from our sisters and brothers? I think we should bless them. It will for many seem an unremarkable
conclusion.Equally for many it
will seem heresy.There it is.It seems I keep on learning - slowly.

I’ve not been able adequately to express the power of
that meeting and my present conviction.The best I can do is recommend my book of the year, given me at
Christmas: Unconditional by Justin Lee (subtitled “Rescuing the Gospel from
the Gays-vs-Christians Debate” published this year by Hodder &
Stoughton, also published as Torn in the US).If you don’t
understand the hurt gays endure in the Church, this will give you some idea.

My DVD of the year has to be Les Misérables, that remarkable
achievement of performance, cinematography and, of course, of
story-telling.I forbad myself
seeing it in a cinema suspecting I would weep uncontrollably and loudly, and so
waited for the DVD to come out.I
didn’t weep uncontrollably, although I confess Anne Hathaway’s extraordinary "I dreamed a dream"
did reduce me to tears.However
it’s the film’s unbearably potent message of forgiveness and love that most
moved me and conjures the dream of how radically revolutionary a society based
on it would be.It would be the
Kingdom of heaven.

My woman of the year, apart from members of my family, is, I think, Jack
Monroe, a deservedly popular blogger, A girl called Jack looks back,
who in her own words “started this year living – existing – on a £10 a week
food budget topped up with five items of food from the Storehouse food bank
once a week. (And) ended it with a recipe book deal, baking biscuits on Woman’s
Hour, with a Guardian column, a debate in the House of Commons and regular
political and campaign pieces in the Daily Mirror.”She came across my radar when she was campaigning for the
poor and petitioning for a parliamentary debate about the rise in food banks.I just like her.

My man of the year, apart from members of my family again, is – sorry to
be predictable – Pope Francis.Here’s quite a good summary of why (not mine): Why Pope Francis is person of the year.I’m sure there are thousands of less
high-profile people who are equally acting out the good news of Jesus Christ,
but it is quite something to be in a position of such power and temptation and
to maintain one’s integrity and humility.No doubt he has made and will make mistakes.After all he is human.

Talking of the all too human, my sporting flop of the year has to be the England men's cricket tour of Australia
this winter. What a craven capitulation!The less said the better.And is the sporting triumph the second consecutive “British” win of the
Tour de France by Chris Froome, or the “British” Men’s Singles victory at
Wimbledon for Andy Murray? I guess I'd go for the Scotsman.

My outing of the year - well, I'll choose our two to Stratford on Avon, first to see As You Like It, with Pippa Nixon outstanding as Rosalind, to celebrate our wedding anniversary, and secondly to see Nancy Meckler's brilliant production of All's Well that Ends Well in company with our delightful out-laws.

So another year ends.And
I’m looking forward to my favourite morning.Tomorrow, I hope to wake up beside my lovely wife and realise
that I’ve been spared to enjoy yet another year of discovery, starting with the Vienna New Year's Day concert, coffee and croissants..., and then who knows what surprises and new or renewed friendships?Lord, bring
it on!

Liked all your comments about the past year Michael.Yesterday, at the end of Mass, Father gave the solemn blessing for the beginning of the year. It's truly beautiful and encouraging. You'll find it here, amongst others of equal beauty.I've copied them to keep, especially for 'down' days.Happy New Year to all who read Michael's blog.

The below was in our Parish Newsletter yesterday and I thought it rather beautiful.

"In one of his poems W.H Auden puts these words into the mouths of the wise men as they explain why they choose to follow the star.'To discover how to be truthful nowIs the reason I follow the star' says the first.'To discover how to be living nowIs the reason I follow the star' says the second.To discover how to be loving nowIs the reason I follow the star' says the thirdThen Auden has the wise speak in unison and say' To discover how to be human nowIs the reason we follow the star'."