Next up we begin a look at what I’ve learned and become aware of on my own journey to create what I want in my life. There’s a lot to cover here, so I’ve broken this section into two articles, starting with a look at three very vital concepts.

If you haven’t manifested your own desires and want to change your life, take on board what I have to say here, and in the articles that complete this series. I promise it will help you in many ways…

Here Is What I Know So Far

I’ve proactively changed many aspects of my life for the better, especially in the past five years. The key word here is “proactively”, which could be interchanged with the word consciously, or intentionally. The point being that I decided I wanted something and then went to work to create the change necessary to have what I wanted. It wasn’t just hoping, dreaming, or thinking about the change, it was all of those things AND focused action designed to take me there.

The end outcome of achieving what I set out to is usually different to what I expected, and of course as per the universal rules I talked about in the first article in this series, the process, the journey of creating the change turned out to be more valuable than actually arriving at the outcome.

Although we are motivated by changing certain physical circumstances we exist in, often it’s the internal shift, the growth we go through on a personal level, that turns out to be the most valuable outcome. The physical benefits are like having the cake, while the real change is learning how to cook, something you can take with you long after you finish eating the cake.

Although many of the stories I’m about to tell you relate to a personal milestone, event or challenge from my life, the cornerstone of the story is the lesson learned as a result. Luckily for us, I’ve been chronicling many of these lessons by revealing the stories here on this blog, so together we can go on a trip through the last ten years of my life and extract some of the most important and powerful revelations as they apply to creating positive change.

I’ve included a link to the original articles that recount in more detail the situations and the key learnings. I strongly recommend you read these articles too, as they will greatly reinforce the messages of this article series.

This is some of the most powerful content in this blog in terms of helping you change your mindset, increase your own self awareness and achieve what you want. I say this in confidence because they are the benefits I gained by living these experiences.

Way back during the first year of this blog I talked about my trip to Seattle to play in the 1998 Magic world championships (a card game that has a competitive tournament series, sort of like poker, but geekier). During this trip I was able to meet some of the stars of the game, and play against the best of the best. The result of this once-in-a-lifetime experience was a change to how I perceive people who are considered famous and a deeper understanding of how they got there.

People who are exceptionally good at something get there because they repeated processes over and over again in preparation for an experience, or in an attempt to qualify for the experience. They then had the experience, which helped them become more confident heading into the next similar experience. This is why in professional sports or competition of any kind it’s usually a huge advantage to have “been there before” as you’re not intimidated by what you don’t know.

This opens up the idea that expertise and success comes to people who choose to go after it. Yes talent, gifts and luck play a part, but the greater your “courage of conviction”, the more likely you will be successful. If you build the tools to create the courage through hard work, then you are more likely to succeed, even if you have never had the success you are striving for before.

It’s worth reading this article because I wrote it when I was 26. I’m 30 now and a lot happened during those years. I wrote that article having had minor financial success in my life at the time, but feeling confident about where I was heading because the positive signs were becoming very consistent and I truly began to believe I could have what I wanted, at least financially, because of what I was doing. I was starting to become proof of the concept I was writing about. I was starting a process of change, just as I was starting to build this blog.

I read a book called Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman. It’s a really interesting book, and one of the most enlightening ideas I took away from it was this –

Optimistic people do not see reality. Instead they contort their interpretation of what they are experiencing to see it as positive, regardless of what is really happening.

Pessimistic people have a much firmer grasp of reality and as such often see the negativity in what is happening to them and other people around them.

Optimists are essentially fooling themselves so they feel better. They manufacture hope and as a result live longer, happier lives. Pessimists see a form of truth, which you might say is more accurate than the optimists, but they consequently suffer more.

So do you want to be the happy fool or the sad realist?

When I was in my early twenties clearly my mind had decided that it preferred to see the negative in what was going on around it. It became so good at this, that the body it had control of started to malfunction.

My mind created so much fear that I started to get panic attacks. Even when there wasn’t a large predatory animal trying to hunt me down, which is a more typical reason for my body to react the way it did, as if it was preparing to fight or run away from the danger, I was feeling these sensations. It was horrible.

I created danger and fear when it wasn’t there and it was because I had learned how to think about things the wrong way. I distorted my interpretation of reality to the point where I suffered physical pain. I call that a form of insanity, but I did find a way out…

As a result of this experience I became a very, very good listener, and this has nothing to do with listening to other people. I started listening to, or perhaps it’s more accurate to say I started to observe my own thoughts, and wow, were they broken.

Back when I wrote the key to happiness I was at a stage where I observed my thought process for the sake of becoming a better thinker. You can call this cognitive behavior therapy if you like, but it’s not that complicated, all you really have to do is “watch” how you talk to yourself. Once you do this you start to realize, at least this is the case for many people, that you really don’t like yourself very much. You spend your entire day being insecure about pretty much everything.

My god was this a turning point for me! I couldn’t believe how mean I was. I thought I was a good person before this, in fact I thought I was so nice that I deserved better in my life, but I was wrong. I was an absolute bastard to the person that mattered most – myself. I spent nearly every waking moment judging myself, and the world around me, and 90% of the time I was negative.

From the seeds of your worst moments, come your greatest strengths. Becoming aware of my own internal dialogue was a massive gift and has positively influenced my life since then. The awareness born from actively listening to how I talked to myself, and then making a very conscious choice to change how I interpret the world around me and thus how I talk about experience to myself, gave me the toolset I need to, well, be happy.

I can’t really put it any better than I did at the end of the article, so I’ll repeat it here…

Happiness is ultimately not in anyone else’s hands or controlled by any external element at all. It’s purely a choice you can make. As often as I can I choose to be happy. It’s not always as easy as that but by undertaking to change the way you think and create an ongoing positive dialogue with yourself you are both working towards the same goals – that’s you and your little voice – both aiming for happiness.

Once you gain the power by becoming self aware of your own voice inside your head and how you perceive the world around you, half the battle is won. You are in control and that will always be the case no matter what happens to you or your environment.

Creating positive change in your life begins with how you interpret life itself. If you want things to change for the better, the first step is to make the choice to see the world in a way that is beneficial, on the inside. The outside world is always open to interpretation, and you will never know the real truth, so why not create perceptions that help you?

The key take away from this article is self awareness is the first step towards creating the change you want, in fact, it is all you ever need if you really drill down to it. You are the master of your own universe.

This is still one of the most popular articles on this blog with almost 250 comments as I type this, I wrote the article because it is clear people need encouragement. Heck, I need encouragement too, so I wrote this just as much for myself as I did for you.

Your mind is your strongest asset and your weakest link, and can be a very clever saboteur. It has a huge influence on your emotional state, and your emotions are the fuel that feed your creativity, or stifle it.

If there was a lesson that every blogger, entrepreneur and athlete knows well, it’s the importance of consistence and persistence. I wrote about this in some depth in my very first free report – How To Start An Internet Business – and it’s safe to take this on board as fact.

To be successful you’re going to have to work hard, over a long period of time and there will be stages, many of them, where you just don’t feel like it. If you want to change, learning how to work through periods of lack of motivation, depression, feelings of loss, confusion, or any state brought upon by negative thought patterns, requires that you learn two things –

Your thoughts are choices of perception that you are in control of entirely (the previous section discussed this)

You can choose to just do it (credit to Nike) regardless of how you feel

As you probably know from experience, sometimes even when you are aware of your inner voice, and even despite telling yourself all kinds of positive and good things, you still feel like crap. The reason for this is you don’t believe in what you are saying to yourself, which is often very hard when you’re still on the journey to change, because your physical reality hasn’t become what you want it to…yet.

A true master of self awareness chooses their emotional state because they are in complete control of their internal configuration and have need for nothing in the external world (like totally zen). For most of us, the outside world has, and will have for our entire lives, a huge influence over us because we want something from it. As long as you have a sense of attachment to anything, and this is especially true for attachments to people, you’re going to suffer (go Buddhism!).

This happens to me too, and although I can say it’s not as pervasive as it once was, I still feel lousy sometimes when I’m not getting what I think I want, when I want it. This is especially the case when you are working to change something that requires you have an experience you have never had before, or where you have attempted to have the experience, yet failed, perhaps multiple times, reinforcing the belief that you will never attain your goal.

Chances are if you are reading this blog, one of the things you are attempting to do now is make money online, and you’re not there yet, so you’re forced to do things to make money that you don’t like (e.g. a job), and you feel bad about it. This is a classic situation where you need to push through and keep going, even in the face of emotional adversity, and as I outlined in the article, often simply making the decision to act even when you don’t feel like it, will pull you out of the negative mood.

The important point here is that you need to realize your process to come to a change is going to involve feeling all kinds of emotions, many of which will not help you change in the direction you want to. The greater the change you desire, the longer the journey, and the more you are going to experience along the way. It’s your job to pilot the ship forward no matter what the conditions, with the belief that your destination is always moving closer, even when you feel like you are going backwards, and you are never certain of when you will arrive.

Coming Up: Taking It To The Next Level

I’ve introduced you to three principle concepts required to realize positive change in your life –

Confidence through training helps you create a foundation for growth

Self awareness – You choose your perception of reality

Working regardless of inner or outer conditions is the path to what you want

You can no doubt see how all three of these concepts are very interrelated and impact each other. As you continue through this series you’re going to see that all these concepts are governed by universal laws, and in the end there is only one variable that really matters when it comes to making change. That variable is you.

Coming up next we’re going to look even deeper at how you are the greatest agent for change there is today. Although your focus right now might be to change aspects of your own life, by the end of this article series you’re going to see how important it is that you go through this process, because if you can truly grasp this, you will see that you’re also the key to changing absolutely everything that you perceive as wrong on this planet.

But let’s not get too deep just yet. First we need to understand what’s governing the process of change, how your own behavior dictates results, what drives your behaviors and how simple it really is to change behavior if you just tie it all into the right mindset.

I have always been very skeptical of all “self help” books, believing they were mainly fluff and a waste of time. On a whim I thought I would buy this book (Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman)since it was written by a psychologist and clinical researcher, and claimed to have evidence that optimists actually do succeed more and accomplish more.

As stated earlier, the author is a psychologist and clinical researcher who has spent the majority of his life studying learned helplessness and optimism. After many clinical trials, he has been hired in many “real world” situations (including Met Life Insurance and sports teams) to improve results and test optimism and success. The results are astounding. The book describes the results using these real-life projects. As evidenced by these studies, optimism helps persons succeed in business, sports, politics, health, school, and literally all walks of life.

The book demonstrated over and over again how I was handicapping myself by being negative and a pessimist. I am a very logical person and it took a book like this, written factually instead of emotionally, to open my eyes to pessimism. Since reading this book, I have dedicated myself to being an optimist, and I must say I have already noticed major differences in my life. I am succeeding at things I never would have even attempted before, and I have become very resilient in non-favorable situations. I have surprised myself over and over again.

Not too many “life changing” books come along, but this book was definitely one for me. If you are a pessimist, this book can transform your life. If you are average or only slightly positive, this book can improve your life greatly. Do yourself a favor and read this book!

Optimism is much more than just a positive attitude. It involves many skills and strategies that enable you to shift from the common negative or pessimistic perspective to the polar opposite – positive or optimist view point. The approach is to adapt a new paradigm that helps you identify exactly what is the polar opposite of any negative emotion or attitude, then it is easy to shift in a positive direction.

Think positive, you can always find the opposite to bad emotions or attitudes.

* CBT is a life-changer, provided you do the work. It’s self help that actually works!

* Optimism is tough! It really does suck out there! But that’s opportunity as well.

* Showing up and just doing the work is highly underrated. So many people I know believe they have a right to feel good at work, always. Actually, they believe they have a right to feel good all the time. Conversely, at work, one is expected to feel good all the time, have that game face going and never let it drop.

I’m really enjoying this series so far, Yaro. Kudos for opening up like this for your readers.

I can personally attest to the general outlook optimists and pessimists have on life. My mom was a pessimist and my dad is the complete opposite. It isn’t hard to guess which one had a happier, more productive and exciting life!

It isn’t easy being an optimist at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I am also really enjoying this series. Changing how we behave and react is crucial if we want to reach our goals easier. Most of us have negative personality traits that can get in the way of what we want. Resolving those issues will make you happier and your goals will be within reach.

Another great post Yaro. You definitely seem to know what a lot of us go through. Obviously you’ve gone through a lot of these exact same issues over the years. We can all learn a lot from you. Most of us are simply plugging away on our businesses without taking the time to think how we can change our attitude and behavior to help get what we want easier.

Yaro,
This series is great and I know I will be rereading it, gleening something new each time I do.
I couldn’t agree with you more on the subject of choice. I’m a firm believer that we get to choose how we feel, how we respond and, untimately, how we proceed in life. Sometimes we forget that.
I wrote a post a while back that embraces some of the ideas you do in this series:10 Life Changing Lessons I Learned From Painting.
I’d be interested in your feedback, if you have a chance to read it.
Take Care,
Jill

I would much rather be a happy fool! I have also found The Secret (of the law of attraction) to be very helpful. It is basically self-fulfilling prophecy. Your blog is seriously so helpful to me, thank you again Yaro!

Wow, i think you slap me at my face with this article Yaro. I must say, i definitely agree with you, because until today, i think, i still live in my own realistic world, i always create fear in my mind and see everything negatively. For example, when i met a girl, my mind will always create a border for me by simply making a words “she will reject me”. So now i know that realistic thought must be buried inside our mind to keep us away from being a stupid Pesimmist.

I remained firm in my quest to make a living online. I
made friends with respected internet marketers who shared
the same vision as mine. They have also experienced the
same treatment from non-believers; but they have proven
that what the mind can conceive, it can achieve. Through
their help, I was able to put aside my doubts and achieve
my goals.

You have the power to make your dreams a reality. Now
show the world what stuff you are made of.

The truth is it’s not easy to get what we want. Our first battle will always be with us. Until we conquer our self, any attempt for success will prove futile. I takes strength of character to master what you have stated above. Some people had a misconception that I can be done overnight, but the fact is it doesn’t. Everyday should be a challenge to inculcate these virtues of success, and most people are not accustomed to its uncomfortable consequences.

Powerful methods you have shared here Sir. I hope the readers will not just find this enjoyable to read, but worthy of application as well.

Thanks Yaro, I enjoyed your post and seems like you’ve really got it. One of the issues I’ve been thinking about lately is the fact that our most common question is ‘Why’, why me? why did this happen to me? etc. These sort of questions are cyclical by nature. The mind creates a situation it doesn’t like and then starts fighting it’s own creation. Like the old Zen saying about a sword not being able to cut itself.
It seems to me that the only valid question is ‘What is life about?’ and that leads one out of a mind attacking itself. Not even getting to money issues here, there you seems to be a true expert anyway, Peace and Thanks

Thank you so much for all your hard work on this post. I always appreciate your encouragement. I just started reading the Secret last night. It’s been amazing to see the difference in my day so far by just realizing if I want to be free of doubt, fear, and negative thoughts that I just have to change my frequency.

It takes a nanosecond to change a thought and that’s my new goal to be a more positive thinker. I’m looking forward to the next installment. Thanks again.

Yaro this is such a fantastic and fresh interpretation of a time tested and proven recipe for true happiness and success.

I totally and completely subscribe to the notion that life truly is just a series of choices. From your emotions to your perceptions, right through to the daily event and life changing decisions we make.

Happiness itself is a choice, working hard to achieve your goals is also a choice. Yet so many people choose to sit on the fence or complain about a situation rather than making a conscious decision to get off their bums and do something about it.

Thanks for the effort you’ve gone to produce this series. I think this series of posts should be made compulsory reading for all Year 7 students.

I buy more into the concept of optimism as described in the book Hard Optimism.

Optimism isn’t fooling yourself, but is a genuine belief that things will turn out for you in the end. It is grounded in confidence in yourself, not only because of the choices you make, but the work you have done.

It’s more like “things will eventually turn out for me because I have and will earn it”.

Excellent article on defining what you want to achieve out of life in general. In my book “Planting the Seed to Master the Money tree of knowledge” which is available on line at =>http://bit.ly/4nUP0 My quote that is in front of my forward is the following; “Your mind is the greatest asset that you own. Your mind is the greatest liability that you own” and the second quote is “Live life to the fullest and well, but live your life within your means”.

Worry about is in your control, not what is outside your control. I stress to my readers that they have the ability to control their attitudes, feelings, and thoughts. Once they gain control of those three attributes,then you can control your own destiny.

Hi Yaro,
I truly enjoy what I have read so far. At the point in both articles when I felt the post was getting too long, you stopped. It is important to always make a compelling reading.

I agree entirely that in any situation that involves change, the key factor is YOU. I have recently read a little about a 2000 years old philosopher called Epictetus. He had such a great impact on the philosophy of living that are as relevant today as they were when he wrote them. Truly, we are the architects of our own happiness. If someone can learn to live without you, you can also learn to live without that person. In the same way, if we learn to restrict ourselves to what concerns us, the world will be a better place to live in.

Regarding a repeated process, there is no better way to excel than to master your your than by doing it over and over, and by teaching it.

Very well said, Yaro! You have me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next article.

Even before I started blogging I stumbled onto entrepreneurs-journey.com through an interview that you did with Gretchen Rubin at http://www.happiness-project.com. I was looking to find ways to become happier and in control of my life. This thirst for happiness lead me to reflect on what I really wanted out of life. After reading your teachings here, I decided that starting my own blog would really help me express myself and I believe bring me one step closer to happiness. Doing something that I truly enjoy!

This is a great series that I think everyone should read and benefit from. You don’t have to be a blogger for this one to hit home.

The more I think about it! I am not sure if it was an actual interview that you did with Gretchen. It may have just been a promotion of your site since she was aware of your experience with becoming happy. Either way, I am truly glad that she mentioned this site!

Yaro, this is the first post of this series that I’ve read, and I have to say, well done. I think that everything you’ve said rings true for me, except perhaps for one. I don’t agree that the pessimist has a firmer grasp on reality than the optimist. I think most of us create a fantasy in our minds that we call reality. Some of us tend to create negative fantasies and others of us tend to create positive fantasies. Its a fantasy either way, so why not go for the positive one, since it tends to reduce stress and fear and to increase the odds of creating the outcome we’d like. I still have a lot of work to do in this regard.

And thanks for the section about the work ethic. Just this morning I was starting to wonder whether I coud keep up my exercise regimen much longer, now that the weather’s turned colder and I’ve started getting bored with my routine. I had a good long talk with myself as I continued with my exercise and now this post is a very helpful shot in the arm. Thanks!

Well, you hit the nail on the head with this one. “Self-talk”, positive or negative, really affects our minds and the way we think and what we do. Successful people have “positive self-talk” and even in the face of adversity, they continue and know that they can and will overcome, even when “reality” is saying differently. The thing with reality is that it is what YOU make it. Not easily, not necessarily quickly, but surely it will get there. What looks like reality for one person doesn’t necessarily look like the same reality to another. We all see things differently. I can say this because my reality really doesn’t look good right now and I have had many times that it hasn’t and in that reality, I shouldn’t have lived, or been successful at anything, or had good health, etc. But, I’m here to tell you that without “self-talk”, I would have been a total failure at most of my life and not even alive at this point. I’m now 67 and still working toward another success in my life and in the face of much adversity. And after many knocks in life, I’m still learning and growing and moving forward as there is always hope as long as we are “breathing”!
And we won’t leave “this life” until God decides it’s time for us to leave so we might as well figure out how to be in the here and now and enjoy it.

Yaro, your words have much wisdom! Thanks for sharing them……(even if it is to make you money, ahahahaha!) And laughter does the soul good!

You seem to say that optimism doesn’t deal with reality but you discovered what your thoughts were really doing. They had real (and very negative consequences). You didn’t just ignore them. I’m being picky about this because I think it is very important.

Watching your thoughts can make a huge difference. Just being optimistic that your thoughts will change or that bad thoughts will lead to good results won’t.

I think the ‘external’ world, or even the ‘internal’ world of our thoughts, is very real. It makes a huge difference to us. But our freedom to choose is not complete. If we keep being a bastard to ourselves we will feel bad – however optimistically we believe that these thoughts won’t make a difference.

My girlfriend isn’t trying to make money online, but I’m forwarding this series to her because I feel you have a very powerful message going on here. Really good info for anyone doing anything. Thanks!

Yaro
This is the first time I have been checking my inbox for your new updates.
Awesome stuff, I like the way you have linked these 3 things together
” 1. Confidence through training helps you create a foundation for growth
2. Self awareness – You choose your perception of reality
3. Working regardless of inner or outer conditions is the path to what you want”
It brings it all together beautifully in one little package.
thanks for all the work you have put into this

And thank you Yaro for all your free offers and quality articles. I`m not so sure if everybody could have an optimistic attitude anytime, but a positive thinking and determination I think is necessary and possible.

In the past Henry Ford was inspired with these words; it seems to be simple words, but in fact is hidden a deep philosophy: “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Either way, you’re right”.

Even if I passed through hard times many years (in my country) I could say all that I wanted, maybe some time it was just dreams, I got. Of course, not just a simple desire; a deep will, concentration, I thought it was possible, even sometimes it have passed years until to reach one thing or another.

And not only my experience of life. I met many people in more than twenty years and tens of thousands of kilometers as truck driver, also before as sporting performance and in the main people which was determined get what they want.

For all of you, only good thoughts and other great words of an unique man: “Be like water, my friend…”. Don`t be upset, don`t despair, in case that life is hard – enjoy, feel alive!

Makes perfect sense to me… you should be writing for my blog! lol. I am still enjoying the journey from where I am now and where I intend to be. I do realize this is one of those keys to unlock the doorway towards happiness. True happiness with myself is usually found in helping others. You are always a big help Yaro… thanks!

In this article, you have touched on one of the most important universal principles in the life of any human being … Know Thy Self!!!

Since spoken by the oracle of Delphi, there have been no truer words spoken on this planet (at least in my opinion). So as you may imagine, I was very pleasantly surprised when you touched on this topic as it has become the foundation of my life.

Interesting blog. I believe it is better to be an optimist than a pessimist. The glass is half full rather than half empty..Positive feelings bring positive results, negative feelings bring negative results. A strong worth ethic can overcome self doubt.

I notice that even when I’m not proactively “moving forward” with my life. Even when I stagnate in a particular area of my life, in a way I’m moving forward. Like taking a breather from running or when the sun goes down it rises again. We all need to remember to get back improving our lives and rise up again.

I try not to beat myself up when I stagnate too.

Its part of the process that we all need to learn to be patient with ourselves and enjoy the process.

Here is different take – start running! (I know you do Yaro!) Yeah that’s right, put on your shoes and go run. Experience some pain – some discomfort.This requires persistence and commitment. However, after you have finished each run you feel like you have accomplished something great, you feel like your a stronger person – both physically and mentally.
Make it a bi weekly task and other less painful tasks like building an on-line business will seem easy in comparison!

I love this series. I believe that many of us need to re-build our foundations, because we are currently standing on shaky grounds – based on wrong principles. This has caused frustrations and defeat in our lives. The re-building is something that must happen internally. It’s the kind of TRANSFORMATION that a caterpillar goes through when it becomes a butterfly. This series will help many with this TRANSFORMATION.

Hi Yaro
Self improvement and motivation is one of my favourite topics. When you have the proper mindset you can accomplish magic. Sometimes to get motivated, you have to experience deep lows to get focus on your goals. When you are in a comfort zone, improvement is not a high priority.

You might need to change the things that you do or the way that you think. You might need to change both. Perhaps it is the power of positive thinking that will bring about self improvement and motivation in your life.

A book that I read that I would recommend to anyone in regards to the subject of getting what you want, is a book by Joel Bauer and Mark Levy, it is called “How to Persuade People Who Don’t Want to be Persuaded: Get What You Want-Every Time!”.

Hi Yaro
Thanks for inspiring me at 4am when I am looking towards my Christmas panic of sorting and stocking and guessing what my customers will order for this Christmas, with some saying there is a recession and others still spending.

In the main I view life in a positive way, always looking for the good out of something bad (you know the head in the sand stuff!!), but it does make me feel better. However from time to time reality hits you – especially when you are facing financial hardship, or worse still when you or people close to you, are facing a serious or life-threatening medical condition. I always think to myself that when negative things have happened to me, that there is always someone else in the world who is far worse off than me. They may be living through a natural disaster like the tsunami, flooding or fire or even through war. It makes my issues pale into insignificance and teaches me that I need to be very grateful for what I have in life and that there are always solutions to problems or challenges, but sometimes we just have to dig a bit deeper to find them. We then have to figure out a way to make the necessary changes in ourselves to kickstart them to happen.

You mentioned Buddhism, are you a yoga practitioner as well? Much of what you say can be construed by yoga psychology although many Internet marketers today consider this to fall under the spectrum of “personal development”. Yes, it’s true that we choose to think and feel a certain way but what happens is that we become negatively conditioned and that creates patterns and tendencies which are hard to break.

First step, like you said is to observe and become “conscious” of these patterns if we are to first deconstruct and then reconstruct more positive thoughts about ourselves and our world. Many of these patterns for most of us run pretty deep and are not so easily changed, even when we’re aware of them. Again, the first step toward transformation of the negative thoughts are indeed “self-awareness”. The rest comes after.

Yaro, what an absolutely wonderful post. I love stuff like this, solid, meaty and real.

I am living the changes you describe, and finding the answers and confirmation and amazing results because as you say – Your thoughts are choices of perception that you are in control of entirely – The difference is amazing when we internalise that.

I’m definitely going to write about your post – there’s lots of points I want to elaborate on as it pertains to me.

As much as I don’t trust most of the books of guides offered online, this one is a proud exception. A friend of mine recommended it to me, and after overcoming initial doubts I started to read it. Suprisingly every bit of information offered here is valuable and interesting. Can’t wait for another one!

[…] What I Can Teach You About Getting What You Want. Yaro from Entrepreneurs-Journey.com writes an awesome and deep post about how to get what you want. I don’t want to be a spoiler, so check it out. […]

“…change your mindset, increase your own self awareness and achieve what you want.”

A key statement to keep in mind at all times although perhaps you need self-awareness before a mindset can be changed and thus goals achieved.

Long, long ago I was a pretty contented woman and happy with contentment. Despite the occasional bouts of temper and worry, life was good. I was an optimist (or so I thought when I thought about it).

As life moved on and things happened – as they always do, I was rudely awoken from my dream. For as I look back over the years I found that I excelled at dreaming not at living. And life no longer was good. Dang!

And darn that dream I mentioned in my comments from article 1, for it made me realize things. Not so good things.

I finally sought counseling and learned to pay a little more attention to the “3 Clares”. Initially, I only thought there was two of us living inside this one body but alas… there are three. Clare1 who was an optimist or more likely she was a pessimist in disguise. Clare2 who hated Clare1. And, Clare3 who quite actively, to Clare1’s shame, disliked another intensely.

If there are any psychiatrists reading this – I am not insane. At least I don’t think so. No, I’m pretty sure I’m not. And besides, I’ve already sought help – so don’t be getting any ideas!

So back to my opening statement that you made – self awareness. Achieved through congruency, perception and work ethic – perhaps. Four years later, while I may not be much closer to where the dream said to go, the journey has been eye-opening to say the least.

“..advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate, so we can buy sh** we don’t need..our great war is spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we’ve all been raised on TV to believe that one day we’d be millionaires and movie gods and rock star .. but we won’t .. we are slowly learning that fact .. and we are very..very pissed off” –Tyler, Fight Club

“Chances are if you are reading this blog, one of the things you are attempting to do now is make money online, and you’re not there yet, so you’re forced to do things to make money that you don’t like (e.g. a job), and you feel bad about it. This is a classic situation where you need to push through and keep going, even in the face of emotional adversity, and as I outlined in the article, often simply making the decision to act even when you don’t feel like it, will pull you out of the negative mood.”

I’m late to the self-awareness party here on your blog, but I’m so glad I found this trio of articles. Much of what I constantly have to remind, reinforce and work through for myself and my clients is all this mindset shifting stuff. Mindset and the ability to shift your thinking to produce results is something I was able to use first in the area of my health & fitness. I was in a very bad place after the birth of my daughter. The only thing that turned me around was my brain. Without a huge mindset shift, I would still be heading down an unhealthy path.
Now, I’m using the same tools to work on my professional sector in life…but the great thing is, I’m not starting at square 1 like I was before… The changes that I made to get my health & fitness back are the same ones I am further changing now.
It’s great when you realize how everything in your life is affected by a shift in thinking & awareness. You can’t just get in shape…you improve your business life, your relationships, your outlook on life, your productivity, the way you care for your self… You can’t avoid creating positive change in all areas of your life even when you think you are just focusing on one part.

Yaro – so glad I dug around and found this series. Really enjoying them.

I think another term for Personal Congruency is Integrity you need to be honest not only with others but with yourself. When you procrastinate you are not keeping your word to yourself. Making excuses doesn’t cut it when you need to look yourself in the mirror.

I decided to follow your self development series and got some good points to ponder. I think I really got to see the book you’ve mentioned. I always thought I’m a positive person but I got a feeling I had to learn deeper about the concept of optimism myself.

“I decided I wanted something and then went to work to create the change necessary to have what I wanted. It wasn’t just hoping, dreaming, or thinking about the change, it was all of those things AND focused action designed to take me there.”

I am incredibly blessed that I found Yaro Starak in 2009. Yaro, thank you for this incredibly inspiring article series. I have been meaning to read this for quite a while and just decided to start now.

I LOVE THIS ARTICLE. As much as I want to tell the people around me to stop being so negative and learn more about new things and just go for it, but not many do what they are talking about. Words without actions are simply NOTHING.

This made me realize that I have been depending too much on external factors for my happiness, and that I need to CHOOSE to be happy instead of rely on others to be happy. I’m in the process of knowing my own self, so that I can begin changing how I see happiness.

I am aware that it may take a long time, but I know that taking it one day at a time would be ideal.

I’m busy working through your whole series, and am really impressed by your maturity and level of enlightenment for a person of your tender years, Yaro. I feel blessed to be able to get so much from you for free, and am recommending your work to as many people as I can. Thank you for caring and lighting the way for others to follow.

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to mention that I have truly loved surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing in your rss feed and I hope you write once more very soon!

I really enjoyed this article because it reminded me that only “I” can change my future. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “results” you are not getting, that you lose focus on what really matters – getting the job done. As long as we can move “forward” and produce more output, the results will come. How fast they come is up to you!

I think this rule applies to everything in life. I notice this rule applying for healthy relationships with the people we love. Thanks again for a great article Yaro! I hope that people will stop focusing so much on the “lack” of what they want, and start focusing on the “possibility” of what they want more often. This really is a great way to live your life.