It's getting so I'm not quite as fast as a dropped bullet, almost as powerful as a pollo loco, and can barely step over tall building blocks with a waddling start.

As for the story, all I'm doing is figuring out what the cliches and tropes of fantasy are and doing the opposite. Orc romances, Elves and Dwarves living in harmony, no Chosen One, and no infodumps or exposition. Even if I can find a publisher crazy enough to touch it, it's gonna bomb bigtime! ****************************************** “Did you say 'You Shall Not Pass' or 'You Shall Not Sass'?" asked the Balrog.

"I said 'You Shall Not Pass,'” replied Gandalf; "and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy."

"All right," said the Balrog; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of its wings, and ending with its shadow, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.

'Well! I've often seen wings without a Balrog,' thought Gandalf; `but a Balrog without wings! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!’-The Adventures of Gandalf in Middle-earth Land

...just ask the crew of R.M.S. TitanicWe are the fighting Uruk-Hai! We slew the great warrior! Well, yeah, first he killed a bunch of us and another whole lot of Mauhúr's lads, and we had to shoot enough arrows into him to drop a Műmak. But we got him!