Truth, Colored Cars & Play Me In Poker

Even my husband will tell you to play me in a game of poker or even a game of trivia crack, because my lack thereof of a poker face would win my opponent big time.

Truth be told, I believe it stems back from when I was a kid, slightly younger then Lily and told my first lie to my father.

Me just a bit younger then Lily now!

I believe I shared lightly about this here, but will elaborate a bit more today.

I was outside playing when I somehow got into the crayons and instead of coloring on paper used my dad’s car bumper as my canvas.

As if that weren’t bad enough, the car, in question, was a company car.

See as a kid my dad worked for General Motors for a local Oldsmobile dealership.

Every six months, he was allotted a new demo car as part of his annual salary from his place of business.

So, he didn’t even own this car that I had decided to showcase my artistic abilities (OK even then I was no Picasso!).

When my dad finally saw my latest creation, he called me out and confronted me.

Me with my parents as a baby back in the 70s – Was about 2 plus years after this that I told my first ever lie!

Instead of confessing, I quickly thought on my little feet by announcing that my neighbor (a young girl that lived two house down from us) had done it.

My dad wasn’t buying it though.

It was the first time, I attempted to lie and I failed miserably.

As, he quickly broke through my reserves and I sang like a canary that it was indeed me who had left my mark on the back bumper–The truth set me free in essence.

I was so young, but still will never forget what my father said to me next.

The words he imparted upon, me still live on.

He told me, “If you lie, you will get get punished. But if you tell the truth, you won’t.”

It was so simple and yet so direct.

I was a little girl, who didn’t want to get punished for doing something wrong and he broke it down to my level easily that day.

Because of that, I have a very hard time lying since that day.

Maybe it was always who I was, but I often wonder if it had much more to do with my father’s words that day.

It is similar to the age old psychology debate of nature versus nurture.

But do believe that my father’s lesson on telling the truth did indeed shape me more then he could ever have imagined or bargained for the day he uttered those words to me.

So nurture, surely won out that fateful day with me needing to speak the truth rather then lie.

However before having my own kids, I only saw it from the eyes of a daughter, but now as a mom I see it in a whole new light.

I realize that what I say or do speaks volumes to both my girl with certain lessons, such as being honest and telling the truth.

Hell, pretty much everything and say or do is up for grabs; Even getting repeated word for word by Emma in her anger.

Yet, kids have a way of learning at the foot of the master so to speak.

Right now, I am it–for better or worse.

So I figure when I speak, I better make it count and last.

As quite possibly someday in the future, my girls will have a similar tale to share of how they felt some words of wisdom (maybe even about truth) that I imparted upon them left a correlative mark on how they act or behave.

Truth be told, isn’t that the job of a parent – to mold and raise their own children to know right from wrong?

Share this:

About Janine

Janine is a published author of the books, The Mother of All Meltdowns and Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee. She has been featured on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Today Parenting Team and SheKnows. She also runs her own graphic design company at J9 Designs.

Love that story! We tell our girls that frequently – the punishment will be less if you tell the truth up front. Then, you may get punished for the “crime,” but if you lie, you get punished of the “crime” AND for lying. I remember lying once to my mom, too. I broke a glass and thought I would be in big trouble. I tried to clean it up and not tell her, but I cut my finger. I wrapped it in a paper towel and went to hide in a closet!

Lisa, I love that you tell your girls this and think it is the perfect way to go about handling lying. As for the finger, why is this something I could have so seen myself do and fail at miserably?! Seriously, we really are so similar and couldn’t love more that we are 😉

I was just talking to my youngest last night and this morning about lying to us. She lies about everything. It is so difficult to get her to trust us and tell the truth. No matter how much we encourager her to tell the truth and tell her she will be in FAR LESS TROUBLE for telling the truth. She still makes up a huge lie. HELP!!!!!!!! Blessings, Diane Roark

Diane, if I could send my dad your way I would! But seriously, I wish I had an real answer, but will say just keep trying and don’t give up, because I have a feeling that if you are persistent and keep on her that you will be pleasantly surprised and find that you have definitely made an impact on this and so much more. Hugs to you, my friend and got my fingers crossed! 😉

I was thinking of my years teaching while I read this. Boy oh boy, did I ever hear some great lies in the classroom….I saw through them all, but I give them credit for their imaginations. LOL Happy Hump Day, Janine.

I couldn’t agree more, Janine! I love your post – especially your story and the lesson you learned and always remember from your dad. I think it definitely IS a parent’s job to teach children about truth and the consequences of lying. I’m so glad my parents stressed this lesson. So glad yours did, too – and that you’re carrying on the lessons learned to your own children. Their futures will be brighter because of it. And I bet they will indeed remember and be thankful that it was you who showed them the way. Excellent post, Janine! I loved it! 🙂

Aw, thank you so much, Marcia and I definitely couldn’t agree more. I am honestly so thankful that I had two wonderful parents, who taught me right from wrong at a young age and am hopeful I am doing the same with my girls now to the best of my abilities! 😉

My daughter is a storyteller like her old man. I often tell her that there are no benefits or prizes awarded for being able to fool people about little things and that sometimes I don’t call her out when she knows she is lying because she knows I know.

But I have also made a point to make sure she understands the importance of being trusted and that it is even worse when you lie to yourself.

This parenting thing can be tough sometimes, but you are damn right about the importance of trying to teach them right from the start.

Jack, I smiled at your comment, because my husband is a very honest man, but truly similar in that he is a great storyteller and often actually wonder why he doesn’t blog (but that is another story). Still, I agree so much about teaching our kids right from wrong from the start, too.

Be hind all great kids are parents who are sure that they are screwing it up! I am one of those parents that is pretty sure she is screwing it up! I love your story and I could picture it in my head, lol!

I can’t remember the first lie I told.. but I do remember plenty of early lessons on honesty and truthfulness from my father too! Great post.. your little girls are so lucky to have you! <3 – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

So true! We tell our kids that if they lie, they’ll not only get the consequence for whatever it was, but they’ll get another one that’s worse for the lying. So far their lies are pretty minor, but hopefully they’ll learn that it’s not a good way to go!

Yup, it’s in our unwritten contract to love, protect, shape and mold them into fine young human beings. 🙂 If my son even starts to tell a tale I break out the ‘Pinoch’ word, short for Pinocchio. He laughs and then tells the truth. 😉

I used to concoct the most complicated lies when I was little to try to evade trouble. It was exhausting and even when I thought I succeeded … I never really did! I use my own anecdotes to let my kids know what NOT to do. It’s so much easier to be honest, and it feels way, way better. Hopefully it sinks in:)

I’ve got one that likes to experiment with stretching the truth. Like last night, he tried to convince me that his toothbrush just doesn’t get wet when he brushes. Poor guy almost seemed to believe himself:)

Once when I was little I accidentally knocked the rearview mirror off of my sister’s car. I was appropriately deemed the culprit, but still didn’t fess up. Obviously I am a terrible liar too. My mom had a favorite saying when I was growing up, “With kids, it is NEVER anyone’s fault!”

Oh you are so sweet and I LOVE that you are also so honest!! I too, am a HORRIBLE lier!!! Derek always says that even if I ‘thought’ about having an affair, I would immediately run to him to confess. LOL

We are THE role models for our kids right now- as they grow, I pray that our example will shape those very values we hold dear. Honesty is a BIG one in our house.

To me, teaching little ones the power of trust is more important than discipline (at a young age) and I love that your Dad’s message was simple and honest in itself. I don’t want to stifle any creativity, but our little one will be taught that honesty is the basis for any lasting relationship.

Like you, I sure do hope she looks back and remembers the message as well as the method. This was wonderfully written and I just love that picture of you three!

I know you will steer the girls in the right direction and they will be as honest as you and Kevin. We all need to tell a little white lie once in a while, particularly if it protects someone from hurt feelings. You do a great job as Mom! Lots of love, xxxxoooo

Growing up the #1 thing I got in trouble for was lying!!! I have huge issues with people who lie to me now and can’t tolerate it. I have pretty much told my boys what your dad told you – telling the truth there may be some consequences but lying will get you in big trouble for sure!!

What a great memory! We also tell our kids that the punishment will be less severe if they tell the truth. That’s a hard one though, because sometimes it is really impossible to tell if a child is lying.

I was totally shocked (and a little bit proud because you know) the first time my son actually lied to me. It truly is such a part of growing up though and I think you handled it perfectly and love how you told the story of your own childhood with a crayon on your dad’s car!

I keep telling my kids that if they lie, we can’t trust them. At their age, that trust is essential if they want to be able to do things with their friends. Sometimes I don’t even understand why they lie about what they do!

Wow! You certainly were a smart little one – for being so young and being able to think on your feet so quickly. Plus, the fact you remember it from that age is amazing! Your Dad sounds like he was a great parent. That’s so awesome. Loved your post!

I am a terrible liar too. Just awful. Scarlet hasn’t lied yet, but one of her friend’s moms was telling me the most hilarious story about her son lying. And she thought, “Am I raising a sociopath or a genius??” It was funny at the time.. The truth will set you free!

Janine, I love this so much. Even if you can’t play poker because of it. 😉 What a beautiful testament to your dad that a single sentence from him pretty much changed your life, and for the better. I did a version of this with my kids when they were teens. When they would go somewhere at night I would tell them, “Please. Do not drink (or whatever) and drive. Do not get in a car with someone who is drinking and driving. Call me. I don’t care what time it is. You will NOT get in trouble. Call me and I will come after you and anyone else who wants a ride and you will not get in trouble. Just call me.” (Of course, for years, we also talked about not using anything in the first place, but this was my backup. Because teenagers.)

I am a lousy liar too. I was never able to pull it off. It was father also that had me so that I was afraid to lie & now I just don’t feel right about it. My daughter is at the age where she has begun to tell tall tales when she does not want to get in trouble & I say to her the same thing that your father said to you. I hope that she understands it as she grows & learns that she does not need to lie to me or to anyone else to get ahead. Great post Janine & again I missed your link up. This was a rough week & I way behind on everything.