NYC single mommy; Three time Columbia University Alumna (BA in Psychology; MA and EdM in Psychological Counseling); Educator and Adjunct Professor by day, Freelance Writer/Lifestyle Blogger by night; Stylista at heart; Kids fashion is my thing. My life is filled with all things pink (and purple), except for the one bit of blue -- my rambunctious 7-year-old son; Perfect combo of sweet, chic, edgy, and badass. Small gal with big dreams and determined to #walkbyfaith

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Reflections on The Child of A Single Mom

I have a special kind of love for Aiden. It’s more than
that he’s-my-first-child-and-that-makes-our-bond-specialkind of love. We’ve really grown together. We’re growing together. He teaches me about love and life just as much as I attempt to teach him about love and life.

Aiden grinds with me. The kid hustles with me.

I remember taking 1-year-old Aiden to work with me when I
couldn’t find a babysitter in time. I remember taking 2-year-old Aiden to
Hawaii so that he could serve as the ring bearer for my friends’ wedding.
Traveling 12 hours with a 2-year-old, rambunctious kid was, umm, no joke. Then there were
the times that I took 3-year-old Aiden to grad school with me because there was no
one to babysit. At first, I got the side eye from classmates. But, after the
first couple of times, they didn’t mind. Or at least they pretended
not to. 4-year-old Aiden sat next to me as I worked against the clock to
meet a deadline. Several times.

There’s no doubt about it: we’ve worked! Tirelessly. And
he’s done it all with a winning personality, a sense of humor, and a smile on
his face.

But… we’ve played too. Hard.

At Disney World. And on a cruise around the Southern
Caribbean. In Puerto Rico. And at many events and outings all over NYC.

Aiden’s a very special little boy. And this is not just
coming from a he’s-my-first-child-and-that-makes-our-bond-special
place. He really is a special little boy.

Our life is far from perfect. But it’s real.

Aiden wasn't home when the horrific domestic violence incidents took
place. But he was there for the aftermath. I remember when his other
parent finally moved out of the apartment. He took his big screen television
first, and I didn't object because I didn't want him to have an excuse to come back
leave any of his things behind. That day, Aiden and I returned home
from running errands, and a 2-year-old Aiden said, "Hey... where a TV
go?!"

I used to wonder (and still do sometimes) if I'm enough for him. If I have the
wisdom and grace and patience and critical thinking skills to raise him into a
socially competent young man. But then I sit...

...And I watch him.

I watch him play with his toys and re-enact situations that
took place the day before or the week before. I watch him interact with others. And I see how rough
and competitive and rambunctious he can be. But I also see how kind and generous and
sweet he is. I watch him read to me. Or tell me a story with so much detail and
expression. I watch him clean up his toys without me prompting him to do so. I watch him correct others who are not
doing the right thing.

...And I remember that he's likeable. You'd like him. Aiden turned 5-years-old this week, but I swear, sometimes it feels as though this kid has been
here before because he's got an old soul. He makes me proud to be this
mother. Seriously, I'm amazed by this kid. Every. Single. Day. He's a
rockstar.

...And I listen to him. And he’ll say something like, “Mommy, I
super love you,” and that just makes my day.

6 comments:

You just made me cry. I just recently became a single mom and mothers like you give me hope. Aiden is better off with one parent from all you have said. You stepped up to be the only caregiver and you have done a fantastic job. Whenever you feel like you are not enough, just come back to this very blogpost and draw strength. You are an amazing and inspirational woman and your fortitude shines through in all you do. Keep giving Aiden your 110%, he deserves it and he will not let you down, ever! Kids remember, they never forget. Have a great day.

Alicia you have done a wonderful job with Aiden. We worked together and formed a friendship over the years. You have accomplished a lot in your young life, I have seen the wonderful job you have done with raising Your son. raising a male in this generation takes patience, love, commitment, and a village. You have done that keep up the good work.As a single parent we often questions how we are doing when it comes to raising our child. I know I have question every decision that I have made with raising my daughter, but I wouldn't change the outcome of our life. Continue your journey to greatness, Rosabella

Hello! This is my first time on your blog (From Bibs & Babbles). This was a great story! I have 2 and one on the way. It is a special thing to love your children and know no matter what... you kids will always love you! Aiden does sound like a ROCK STAR!