This feature requires JavaScript to function. This is you. You’re Santa Claus. I’m definitely Santa Claus, but unfortunately, I need to explode right away. You’ve been lying unconscious on the frigid tundra of the North Pole since last Christmas. In order to make sure you didn’t starve during your year-long slumber, arctic pelicans have been coming up to you and laying eggs into your mouth 24/7 since last Christmas. Every pelican lays about 200 eggs at a time, and they’ve just been squirting them right down Santa’s sleeping throat all…

Fiona the Hippo’s had a big year. In fact, she’s not even one year old yet. But 2017’s perfect baby hippo is growing up. Born six weeks premature at only 29 pounds at Cincinnati Zoo in January, Fiona has garnered quite the online fanbase (including us) — just watch her engagement photobomb to know why. SEE ALSO: Fiona the hippo’s best moments of 2017 Now, Fiona is sitting pretty at 622 pounds, according to the zoo. Plus, Fiona’s zoo team has transitioned her to an all solid food diet —…

Image: Shutterstock / Guschenkova/get on fleek Big Sweater no longer holds the monopoly on ugly Christmas attire. Online retailer Get on Fleek has released a new line of ugly Christmas and Hanukkah-themed rompers for men, and honestly, they look pretty snazzy. SEE ALSO: If you ever wanted a dad bod, there’s a fanny pack for you Image: get on fleek Sure, the ugly Christmas sweater will forever hold its place as the number one piece of holiday-themed attire, but the romper welcomes a nice alternative for those in warmer climates,…