The epileptic tree is that: He is Dale's grandfather. Making Joseph his uncle.

Nah, he says in one episode, "I'm 34 years old, I don't need this crap!" while arguing with Nancy.

Another episode he complains to Hank about being 40. Maybe he's trying to hide is age?

There were a number of years between when he said he was 34 and when he said he was 40, so maybe only the kids are Not Allowed to Grow Up?

This could very well be. Luanne was 17 when the show started, celebrated her 21st birthday, got married and had a daughter while Bobby only aged two years and didn't change appearance.

Kahn and Minh speak primarily in Laotian, but it is dubbed for the audience

This would explain why they can often, very loudly and to the main characters' faces, call them horrible names and never get called out on it. Also, whenever Kahn and Minh are fighting and the audience is given another character's perspective of the argument, they are almost always speaking Laotian.

This can probably be filed under 'likely, but sometimes'. Kahn said early on they'd been in the country roughly 20 years, and have repeatedly shown they have a very heavy disconnect with their native culture. Given Connie's limited grasp on the language (where she has a hard time differentiating between 'good morning' and an insult), it's likely they don't speak Laotian horribly often anymore. It might be something they reserve for arguments at this point.

The other characters have also very early on accepted that the couple is quick to insult anybody they're around no matter how friendly they become. Everyone's probably just become numb to the barrage of insults for the sake of keeping peace.

This may be true when they're alone, since I've noticed that their English is better when they're talking amongst each other.

John Redcorn is the time travelling reincarnation and/or genetically altered version of Dale

Our Dale is aware of this fact and this is why he considers Joseph his son. He hides this from the others by feigning ignorance and saying John Redcorn is gay. Not even John "alternate Dale" Redcorn knows that Dale knows.

Hank has other half-brothers.

Including Hal, the guy who was identical to Hank and made Dale and Bill jealous. Either that or Hal is Tom Anderson's son, who is also Cotton's half-brother.

There's also that one guy at the Renaissance Fair who sounds exactly like Hank, and looks just like him, only with black hair.

Beavis and Butt-head happens in the future of King of the Hill.

It was never said, but the real reason "King of the Hill" ended was because Hank stopped going on adventures, he got tired of his life. After years of this happening, Peggy became tired of living with him and divorced him. Hank felt so bad from the experience, he moved away. Once he grew old, he met a woman who liked being calm and relaxed named Ms. Anderson. Since Hank didn't feel like a man any more, he took her last name. After living like this for a while, the events in "Beavis and Butt-Head" took place.

The last episode will be about Hank trying to solve a wrong situation (like any other episode), yet it turns out that he was wrong.

After that, we are treated to flash forwards of Hank being wrong time after time, and Bobby is right. Hey, at least the boy will finally be right, as Hank wants him to be.

General theory confirmed, details jossed.

Boomhauer's job as a Texas Ranger is what has been keeping Dale, Buck, and several other characters out of prison

He has to have some sort of pull with the police, since he is one of them.

It's the only logical explanation for how Buck hasn't been locked in state prison and Dale isn't in a mental hospital. Seriously, the crap Dale and Buck have pulled would land a person in prison.

Cotton too.

Hank's family tree (including only Cotton, unrelated Bill, and their offspring):

Edd (the whole year in the movie being a total fake; the Eds are in the future)

*

There once was a two-part episode that has Hank meeting his brother.

**

There was an episode about Hank meeting this guy, who was very similar to him. Seriously, it would be scary if they were not related.

***

See here; combine the Ezekiel relation guess with the "20 minutes into the future" guess.

Note: I have not seen every episode of King of the Hill. If there are any errors with this, that's why.

Don't forget that one guy at the Renaissance Fair who totally sounds like Hank.

Joseph really is Dale's son

Through the magic of recessive genes,Dale's Indian blood shines through.

One episode had a girl who had the same biological father as Joseph. This supports the theory that Dale WAS visited by aliens and they gave his DNA to Nany and Candi.

Or John Redcorn is a huge man-slut...YMMV, though.

Hank Hill has high fuctioning autism or Asperger's

He's probably really high on spectrum, but think about his strange behavior that are clear symptoms to Asperger's.

His obsession with Propane and other interests

A bit uncomfortable with sexuality, and at times can be distant from his family.

Prefer to not be very emotional, Hank can be very stoic.

Seconded. In the episode where Hank gets addicted to video gaming while Bobby trains for the president's fitness award, the game based off of him is called "Pro Pain". Hank assumes that this is simply a misspelling, when it is really a play on words. Asperger's can lead to things like this.

Except:

His "obsession" isn't really that, just the dogged support of a man trying to stick by what he thinks is right, and have loyalty to the product he has spent his life selling.

Is a portrayal of a middle aged man who was raised to believe men don't talk about their feelings.

Tying in with the above, Hank's been raised with a certain degree of stoicism and reticence regarding certain topics that are "polite" to talk about.

Hank's not very bright or imaginative.

Hank probably suffers Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (distinct from OCD). People with OCPD are often seen as workaholics and perfectionists, putting a lot of emphasis on self-control in all situations. They can be so involved in their work that they ignore family and friends, and are often so insistent on doing things properly that they lose sight of the point of whatever activity they're undertaking. OCPD usually carries a great distaste for any form of emotional expression from both the sufferer and those around him (emotions always carry a lack of control), and those diagnosed are often very judgmental and intolerant of others who do display excessive feeling or do things "improperly." As mentioned somewhere else on this site- Hank spends more time with his lawn, propane, his grill, his truck, and his dog than his family and shows them way more emotion, since they can't emote back.

Dale may be on the spectrum. In addition to his obsessions, he often displays awkward motor and well developed language skills. His social interactions can be rather poor but he often seems to understand exactly what he's doing.

Bill is Bobby's father.

Bobby looks a little more like Bill than Hank, and Hank has a medical condition that affects his fertility. Throw in Bill's constant obsession with Peggy and the answer is obvious. Hank is actually sterile, and Bill had an affair with Peggy that resulted in Bobby. The parallel with Dale, Joseph, and John Redcorn is the creator's joke on the audience - they're meant to laugh at Dale's cluelessness but miss a similar situation themselves.

I doubt this, Cotton looked almost exactly like Bobby.

I concur.

Thirded. Children tend to look more like their grandparents than their parents.

And in his war story flashbacks, Cotton looks like a taller, older, thinner Bobby.

Also, you really have to stretch things to believe Peggy would cheat on her husband. And with Bill, at that.

Hank is frosty and chaste. It would also explain why Bill is always so clingy and obsessive with her at times, and why Peggy hates him, even when she has no real reason. Seeing him reminds her of their affair and possible child.

At times, Peggy is just as uptight as Hank.

Let's not forget that Bill used to be quite attractive.

But also remember that he lost his looks several years before Bobby was born.

Not only that, but Peggy tends to be naive and cocky. If Bill wanted to sink to such a low, he could have told her that he was in the military and conveniently left out the part about him just being a barber. After all, some women like a man in uniform and if he used to be a looker, then just imagine how he would've looked in his military uniform. Peggy could have enjoyed bragging to Minh (if she lived in the US at the time) and Nancy about being with Bill because of the "military" thing, and it's not like Nancy could've said anything because she's cheating on Dale. As for Minh, she and Kahn think they're surrounded by rednecks, so for all we know Minh could've just kept her mouth shut just so she could enjoy the show, especially once Peggy conceived.

Except Peggy knew Bill in high school before he joined, and knew him when he became a fat slob, which happened several years before Bobby's conception. It's still a massive stretch to think Peggy would sink that low to cheat on Hank and sleep with Bill, of all people.

Jossed in "Pregnant Paws". Bill is shown to be the same fat slob when Bobby was conceived, and is shown in the flashback to be looking in on Hank and Peggy until they closed the blinds while trying to conceive. There's no canonical point in time for Peggy to have had an affair with Bill, nor has she ever not been disgusted by Bill and rejected his advances.

No canonical point in time? Because she and Hank supposedly couldn't have kids because of Hank's narrow urethra, it would seem it was then that she would be desperate enough to have a one-night stand with someone else to have a child. Because she and Hank were conceiving at the same time, Peggy herself might not know for sure.

It's still a stretch for Peggy to cheat on Bill and for Bill to never tell anyone, given his inability to keep a secret.

He is destined to win (nearly) all social arguments. Unfortunately, that requires that everyone who enters his life is plainly wrong. He's destined to never meet a reasonable roleplayer who sees gaming as a hobby instead of something that requires drinking blood. Never to see a soccer coach who treats the sport well. Never to meet a liberal who makes sense. Hank Hill is doomed to forever encounter idiots and lunatics.

This is also why he is so narrow minded, coming across as extremely bigoted at times - because he has literally never met a good, intelligent person with different opinions than him, he never learned to accept others or adjust his own opinion.

Hank is cursed with suck. Hank rarely meets a human being who isn't a complete idiot or total asshole. His friends, his family, and everyone he's ever shook hands with, is either a gullible moron who can easily be swayed into believing the topic of the week, or is the Manipulative Bastard who brought it in. Remember when Bobby went to special ed because he was lazy. Then the entire class of kids who were supposed to be normal kids then all stood up on the log flume and knocked each other in the water and did nothing but gleefully laugh as they approached the drop. My Lord, they should've been wearing helmets after that.

While the kids were certainly lazy, the school administrators were equally to blame. The Principal was encouraging them all to feign stupidity in order to exclude them from the SATs (which they would've done poorly on, thus bringing down the entire school district's average score). And it probably didn't hurt that Dale was their chaperone.

I'd say it had more to do with Lucky. Hell, Luanne was going to community college for quite a few seasons, of her own accord no less.

Then that would make Lucky a witch, given that he appeared as a one-shot/one-line character at the end of the season where she quit college, and didn't even meet her until the next season. I support the Manger Babies theory, but only in terms of her increasing naivety; she remains a sense of intelligence for a while, but it could be argued that her naivety eventually had a severe effect on that, too.

Dale's grandmother really is Jamaican.

This would explain both his nonplussed reaction at Nancy giving birth to a child with dark skin, and his lack of overtly racist views despite his Right-Wing Militia Fanatic leanings.

More likely Filipino: Dale has shown he knows Tagalog and offered zero explanation for it. Or he's just not a racist. Dale actually comes off as more of a libertarian than anything else: he doesn't seem to have a problem with what other people choose to do as long as it doesn't infringe on his rights. See for example his opinion towards gays, which is actually more open-minded than any other adult on the show.

Or he's just a right-wing militia guy who's not a racist?

One of Dale's gun club's members is black. And gay. So I'd say he and his gun club buddies are right wing militia fanatics, but just aren't racist.

Octavio used to work in a mental asylum

But one fateful Halloween night a giant, mute psychopath broke out and killed him... or so it seemed. After the killer escaped, he got up and ran away to Texas, where he took on a new identity.

The real last episode will have Hank and Peggy witness a murder

They'll be placed in the witness protection program, at which point they'll be moved to a new town, where they end up living near to a pair of half-wit teenagers.

Think about it. Hank is a descendant of Daria, having gained a bit of her mind. Just like Daria's family, the Hills have a few Quinns, Helens and Jakes. (Bobby, Cotton, Bobby, respectively. YMMV) Just as Daria's world was filled with idiotic people, so is Hank's world. His friends are related to the Fashion Club or Beavis and/or Butthead. I wouldn't be surprised if Boomhauer is Beavis's son.

My best friend has a similar theory, only with Hank being a grown up version of Butthead and Dale as a grown up Beavis.

One of Bobby's classmates is an illegitimate son of Boomhauer.

Does anybody notice that kid from Bobby's class has similar skin tone and hair? It's very possible Boomhauer made a woman pregnant with a child.

It's an interesting theory, and maybe even an in-joke with the animators or something along those lines, but Boomhauer being a Dark-Skinned Blonde isn't genetic - he tans obsessively, and in one episode he also admitted he dyes his hair. So if the kid is Boomhauer's, then I guess it's a case of Lamarck Was Right.

It's likely that Garth from the episode "Order Of The Straight Arrow" in the first season, was meant to be Boomhauer's son, but the writers had second thoughts and pretended he didn't exist.

Alternatively, it's not Gerald but his wife Helen who is somewhere on the Hill family tree. She even once said that "some people only understand a good ass-kicking". Perhaps she's the secret love child of Charlie's wife and Cotton.

Except her father appears with them and is played by Brian Doyle-Murray, and it's unlikely she was ever in Texas.

The whole series is the delusion of Tom Anderson as he rots in federal prison.

What is it with you people and theories like this?

Perhaps Daria and Quinn are working for the government are the ones doing the torturing.

Bobby Hill grows up as a social worker for Arlen.

On the last episode in the series, Bobby has an experience with girls around the end that influences him to think higher and more aware of himself. This particular event makes Hank say more than three or four words of encouragement to Bobby. Much later in his life, he considers taking a position at a social worker's group for troubled adults and teenagers. He also marries Connie Junior, letting her be his assistant.

I don't think Connie would ever become Bobby's assistant. She has previously stated that she wants to go into journalism, and on top of that, is a stereotypical Asian overachiever (both because she wants to do well and because Kahn and Minh put a lot of pressure on her) and would most likely aspire to something greater than Bobby Hill's assistant.

Bill became the opposite of a remembered hero due to Karma.

Bill was in the army once, so he has a badge of honor on his end. But unhealthy habits like dredging over an ex for years had turned him from recognized and honored person to a bummer of epic proportions.

Due to Bill's frequent Acquired Situational Narcissism, and his status as a muscular babe-magnet as a teenager, you could argue he has a good case for having been a Jerk Jock in high school. Hank just doesn't remember it because he might've been the same way (look at his disapproving attitude for Bobby and people not into sports), and is pruning that out with his Nostalgia Filter.

Hank definitely was, as shown in his flashback in the episode where Bobby was in a fashion show.

Though Bill was a pretty decent guy in the flashback to Hank getting Bill's name tattooed on the back of his head.

Bill was in the Army for the show's entire run.

Boomhauer suffers from a severe case of OCD.

To put it more likely, a rare case of OCD that enforces strict vocalization of a sentence or a word. When he was very young, Boom was pressured to read at a rate beyond the normal for a child, to the point where a bad habit of speeding up words became an indent to his mental establishment. This can be proven by the fact that none of his youth is ever brought up except for College and High school. I can conclude it as unpleasant in a way.

I don't think so. I have OCD and I know a lot about the disorder, and language issues like that aren't symptoms. My hypothesis is simply that his upbringing and environment gave him that weird accent. Bear in mind his grandmother talks like that too. I live in the South, so I've heard real folks talk like him before. If there was a medical explanation for his manner of speech, it would probably be a simple speech impairment, considering he imagines himself speaking normally while everyone else mumbles quickly (source: A Fire Fighting We Will Go), so clearly he's aware of it.

Seconded. I'm dating a guy who was born in Texas, and he spent part of his childhood there and in New Mexico. (Both of us live in Oregon.) He's said that some people in the South do talk in a similar manner, but not as exaggerated as Boomhauer's speech. And, on a related note concerning an above WMG about the character's personality quirks, he's said it's a bit of a Truth in Television, but again, the show exaggerates it for laughs.

Hank really is rich

He's just extremely good at keeping it a secret so Bobby can learn the value of money and not waste the fortune when Bobby inherits it.

In seasons 1-3, she was a friendly woman with only occasional ego problems. At the end of season 3, she has the accident. From season 4 onward, she's dramatically less sympathetic and her ego and cluelessness are suddenly her most dominant traits. Coincidence? I think not.

I second this into headcanon.

Well, her Spanish skills weren't very good in the first place, though that doesn't negate this theory.

They do get worse after the accident.

I'd reckon it was psychological, rather than neurological: The reason Peggy got so up herself was because now she's a survivor. Think about it - she survived a skydiving accident. It would probably give lots of people a puffed-up image of themselves. After the accident, Peggy just felt invincible.

Luanne's flanderization also has an in-universe justification: brain damage sustained in the Mega-lo Mart explosion.

Note that one of her very first acts after said explosion is to take pictures of CNN broadcasts in an attempt to become a photojournalist... this could be considered her first really stupid act in the show.

Bobby is dead

Sometime after his 13th birthday, or after breaking up with Connie, Bobby died. This explains why he and everyone remain the same age, even though years are said to have passed: the rest of the series is his dying dream. Of course, one could argue this for any character (except perhaps Dale and Bill, for obvious reasons), but it fits when you consider that before he turned 13, almost everything Bobby did was against Hank's favor, but shortly after, Hank began to accept at least some of Bobby's shortcomings. The final episode, in which Bobby and Hank discovered common ground with meat, was Bobby's very last moments, dying in the belief he and his father had finally found a relatable subject.

Perhaps this could explain why Bobby seems to remain pre-pubescent, while Connie gets her period and Joseph gets taller, grows a mustache, and develops a deeper voice.

Another point on this WMG, there was an episode where Bobby is mistaken for a Highschooler and makes up a story about having some Kidney disease. By the end of the episode, he tells someone asking for "Kidney Boy" that Kidney Boy died. Maybe there was more truth to that episode than apparent at first glance?

Buckley is imagining the show post explosion

He sees the people he knew get stupider and meaner as he's closer to dying and the Buckley's angel ep is him wanting to guest star.

Bobby is an orphan

Hank and Luanne died in the Mega-Lo Explosion. Peggy was despondent, especially her wedding anniversary, so Bobby got her a ski-diving lesson as a present. And she died. Either Tillie or Cotton got custody of Bobby and he communicates long distance with Joseph and Connie, while probably being miserable and escaping to daydreaming about what may have happened if they were alive. The show's later Seasonal Rot is him finding something to keep him happy and leaving behind the fantasy.

Nancy is losing her hair because of the pressure of not telling Dale the truth about Joseph's father

At the very least, it's a case of karmic punishment.

Beavis and Butthead grew up into Boomhauer and Dale

Okay, first, just look physically at the characters. Boomhauer looks like Beavis. He speaks incoherently (as Beavis often did). We have no frame of reference for when Beavis and Butthead took place. We simply know they were in their early teens, possibly in junior high or high school. We never saw the school year end on Beavis and Butthead, it easily could have been one school year, after which Beavis matured, took up playing football and could have evolved, and grew into the man wee see in Hank's flashbacks.

Dale could be an older Butthead, he has similar facial features and hair color. As with Beavis above, we don't know how long the timeline of Beavis and Butthead is, or even how old the boys actually were. They could have met Hank, decided to eschew their childish nicknames and started going by their real names, eventually gone out for football and become the young men we see in flashbacks with Hank and Cotton. Beavis and Butthead also takes place in Texas (though in the fictional town of Highland IIRC). Hell, it's even possible that Beavis and Butthead were taken from their poverty-stricken, neglectful parents by protective services and placed into adoptive care in Arlen.

Note: Beavis and Butt-Head are 14 year olds in the 9th grade sometime between 1993-2001 as Bill Clinton was shown as the current president in several episodes.

Their dates of birth are also given as 1978 and 1979.

Bill dated Peggy before Peggy and Hank got married.

Peggy dumped Bill, and after that, Bill never really had another successful romantic relationship. That's the reason he still is obsessed with Peggy, and he only stays friends with Hank so he might have a chance to get closer to Peggy. Peggy is sick of Bill's obsession, with is why she hates him.

Except Peggy marriend Hank almost as soon as they graduated high school, and Peggy only knew Bill through Hank in high school, and Bill joined the Army right out of high school. Plus Bill married Lenore.

The story takes place from Hank's point of view, though he doesn't directly narrate.

This is why Hank is so often viewed in the right while everyone else is either wrong, ignorant, or stupid. Hank is a fairly honest person so he's not portrayed as completely perfect, but he views himself as very moral which is why he's the "right man" in most situations. Had the show been told from Dale's point of view, he would have more hair and HE would be the right man, like in his POV scenario from the fireman episode.

Peggy has gone to Paradise Cove before

How else would she bring up the name of the nude beach so fast in "Sug Night"? And later when she disrobed, there were no tan lines to be seen on her.

Buck Strickland was once as great as Hank treats him

Buck actually was the great businessman that Hank still sees him as, however over a decade of having his business essentially run for him by Hank and all social manners managed by Miss Liz effectively babied him and gave room for his descent into debauchery. Miss Liz stays with him since she still loves him, and Hank still believes that Buck is the same man he once was, and as such, Buck really only shows signs of his old self when one or both leave him.

More or less confirmed by occasional dialogue and flashbacks throughout the series.

Dale Gribble has known that Joseph isn't his son since Day One, and has created his own fantasy world to live in as a result.

Furthermore, he also knows about Nancy and John Redcorn's affair (probably from the start). But his fragile mental state (caused by the refusal to accept the truth about his father's sexuality despite the evidence being right there in front of him and the normal traumas associated with being a skinny, dateless nerd in Texas of all places) simply couldn't handle the depths of his wife's deception and the realization that his greatest fear had come true (that a 'goddess' like Nancy could never love someone like him). So he ignored all the evidence in front of him and created a reality for himself as a badass bounty hunter/mercenary who was desirable to women and feared by men, with a son destined to grow up in his own image. And as he realized that more and more people knew the truth about his secret shame and the lies of his marriage, he sunk even deeper into this world and eventually lost himself entirely. He used government conspiracies and alien manipulations to explain away the discrepancies in his life, and used these paranoid fantasies as an excuse to lock himself away from the rest of the world at the drop of a hat anytime his subconscious mind attempted to force him to accept the truth. Becoming a pest exterminator allowed Dale to take out the hidden rage and buried frustrations he has about his sad existence without running the risk of a physical confrontation with a human that he would surely lose, and along with his bizarre 'experimentations' (another attempt to explain away Joseph's paternity by manipulating science itself) creates yet another barrier between himself and the rest of the world. And when he was forced to temporarily quit exterminating and had to exist in said real world, his hatred was manifested in the cold dispatch of his duties as the Stic-Tek 'hatchet man', the complete disregard of his family and friends and implied rough, angry sex with his wife. Plus, his refusal to use protective gear while using poisons, his haphazard use of firearms and artillery and other reckless behavior are clearly subconscious cries for help and indicative of a death wish. And you thought Bill was screwed up!

I support this theory in every conceivable way.

There WAS that freakily unexpected laugh once in an early season upon seeing Nancy go off with Redcorn. All I thought then was "he knows".

Then why wouldn't Dale have cheated with that attractive female exterminator that was clearly into him?

All other character flaws aside, Dale is fiercely loyal to his loved ones and especially his wife.

Or maybe Dale truly is just a naive man who has no idea, and that is all part of his charm. The fact that he is paranoid of nearly everything except the affair right under his nose is just there for irony. It's still an interesting theory, but I can't help but think that he would crack after all those years of denial and do something drastic. And when it came to his father Bug being gay, Dale honestly couldn't figure that out by himself until he saw it with his own eyes. Also, I doubt that Nancy would allow him to be rough with her in bed. We already know for a fact that she's the type of person who always gets her way. The lady's no pushover, and I can't see Dale as someone who would push himself on her. Especially considering that during the affair, she was the one who allowed him to sleep with her twice yearly (Christmas and his birthday). As for the whole death wish thing, I dunno. Dale seems pretty content with his life. He pretty much lives off of Nancy, but prides himself in his extermination jobs (even if he sells himself short, he enjoys it very much). Maybe I'm just optimistic, but I just don't see too much darkness in the mind of Dale Gribble. Even if he became more lucid and figured out the truth, I still have to believe that his forgiving/accepting nature would shine through.

Dale knows about Nancy's affair with John Redcorn, but pretends to be ignorant about it.

Dale's always making up stories about how Joseph came from aliens because he doesn't want Joseph to know about the truth.

There's also the possibility - which is not mutually exclusive of the above - that he pretends not to know just to screw with Nancy and John Redcorn, such as in "Dog Dale Afternoon", when he set up a pellet gun to shoot anyone trying to steal his new mower, and John Redcorn sets it off while sneaking in to sleep with Nancy:

John Redcorn, being a attractive sample of humanity, is likely to get around, but with Dale's DNA being spread around, the future generation is likely to be just as weak as Dale. With a few hundred generations the population is ripe for an alien invasion. Boomhauer is also part of their plan due to him really getting around.

John Redcorn is really an alien.

So technically Joseph really is part alien.

Hank was not always the honest propane salesman or great football player we knew him as.

Basically, you know that flashback to the night when he got drunk and had Bill's name tattooed on the back of his head? He must have been acting like that all the time up until he met Buck Strickland. People have simply never forgiven or forgotten. There is no other logical explanation for why absolutely every person he knows expects the worst from him at all times.

The flashback in "Husky Bobby" had him picking on an overweight guy, so maybe canon.

Cotton played a heavy hand in the men Dale, Bill and Boomhauer grew into.

Dale is president of the gun club and has a large collection, Boomhauer is basically a man-whore and Bill joined the army with the hopes of becoming a war hero. There are exactly three things Cotton loves: Guns, sex and war. Cotton rubbed off on each of them in a different way.

Seems to be at least partially confirmed based on dialogue throughout the series. At the very least he took them to Hotel Arlen and bought them each a hooker. Except Hank, who ran away.

Topsy is Beavis' Grandfather.

Being a Military man that served in WWII, Topsy really got around. In the midst of that, he knocked up a loose woman that ended up being Beavis' Grandmother. Said illegitimate child was Beavis' slut mother that got knocked up by the ex-Motley Crue roadie turned drifter. Beavis comes from multiple generations out of wedlock.

When Bobby was thought to be Lama Sanglug, an old monk was brought in to decide if he really was. In the end, Bobby chooses to be with Connie rather than risk becoming the Lama. The old monk chooses to accept Bobby's decision, despite all signs pointing at Bobby being Sanglug. He adds whistfully, while watching Bobby and Connie walk away, "It's my choice, and I made it." If Bobby really was Sanglug, then he would be reincarnated again after he dies, this time coming back as a monk several decades before Bobby was born. When the monk arrives in Arlen, he remembers his time as Bobby and recognizes the moment when Bobby chose Connie over Lama-hood.

Cotton and Tilly were cousins or even closer...

Cotton's other confirmed sons look at least somewhat like Hank, if not damned close, and in WMG's above, so do some of his theorized sons. Yet Cotton had these sons by other women, including a Japanese lady, and Hank's looks seem to take more after Tilly than Cotton. The solution is that Cotton, somewhat broken by the war, was forced to marry his first cousin, with possible legal fudging if the laws in Texas at that time didn't allow for it. However, given how much these other sons also look like Tilly, it is even possible that one of their fathers had an affair with one of their mothers, leading to some squick and a possible explanation for the closeness and those patches of mental instability outside the Platters.

Joe Sixpack is based on Hoyt Platter, Luanne's father.

He does evil like "not calling you on your birthday" and "throwing beer bottles at your head".. Luanne sounded like she was speaking from personal experience.

Sounded more like a jackass boyfriend.

Or it could be Luanne's mother. (Even though the fork incident was acted by the cat on the donkey.)

Cotton made up all his claims to fame.

With the way he's always bragging how his war heroics the truth is and he knows it that it's nothing more than a load of hogwash. He didn't kill fifty men, he didn't even kill five men. Odds are he was in a lowly position in the army and put on cook duty nowhere near the frontlines and itching for glory one day and overhearing from the others a Japanese squad possibly close by grabbed a gun and charged thinking to become a hero and walked right into a minetrap destroying his shins and giving himself and the others away resulting in them being attacked. The rest of his squad came and they and the Japanese in the battle died dragging his sorry carcass out of there and when reinforcements came and saw him the only survivor he hastily grabbed a gun and acted like he was shooting and claimed they were ambushed and he killed all the Japanese so he wouldn't be dishonorable discharged (lucky if got that) for getting his entire platoon and comrades killed cause of his Glory Hound desires.

While it's doubtless that most of his war stories are exaggerations if not outright lies, it's canon he's heavily decorated (and with medals that aren't given out flippantly, or in multiple for a single act, such as the Medal of Honor and Silver Star). There are enough of his close war buddies alive that doubtlessly someone would have called him out by now if he were taking credit for someone else's victory (no matter how close you are, for obvious reasons that's considered to be a very serious offense). So while he's a liar, he's also a war hero.

And, while his claim of being in Munich two days before being in Okinawa was a lie, he was still in Italy, the Pacific and Okinawa. And he did also lose his shins and was shot multiple times. Pretty hard to fake thoe wounds. He may lie in some of his war stories, but not all of them.

His army buddies from what we've seen the shape and state of them aren't exactly going to remember (He's in the best shape of them all which isn't saying much) as they've mostly gotten each other's tales mixed up. And the mines would've destroyed his shins as well as being shot at dozens of times. Guys have made up claims of gloryfing their deeds to make them out as heroic as possible since the beginning of time and he did the same. And there's a large hole in his story, if the Japanese destroyed his Shins with machineguns how was he able to kill them, and how was he able to get a piece of fat from his friend to kill them with when the sharks had ate him?

Dale knows about the affair, but says nothing because he's incapable of producing children.

He knows that Joseph isn't his biological son, but loves him nonetheless. He pretends to be ignorant about the whole thing because he fears that Nancy will leave, and take Joseph with her, if she knew that he knew. John Redcorn has expressed a desire to take part in raising Joseph, so that only increases the risk. Nancy doesn't tell Dale anything because she doesn't want to hurt him, but if she did tell him, that pressure would go away and without that pressure, she doesn't have as much reason to stick around.

Hank and others don't tell Dale about Nancy's affair because there's a strong risk he would become suicidal.

There's an episode where Dale goes into the Despair Event Horizon when he finds out that Hank played a silly prank on him by stealing his lawnmower and sending joke ransom notes. Dale doesn't trust many people so if he goes into that with Hank, imagine what would happen if he learned that Nancy was betraying him for over 13 years. Hank and others know this, but they agreed to say nothing because they don't want him attempting suicide.

He doesn't really go postal in "Dog Dale Afternoon" (when Hank steals his mower). He becomes more paranoid than usual and loses track of time for a while, but when Nancy informs him he has an appointment to exterminate the silverfish in the bell tower at the community college, he drops everything and gets to work (effectively a Let's Get Dangerous! moment). It's only while doing his job that Bill mistakes the wand for a gun and thinks he's gone insane and decided to shoot random people from the bell tower á la Charles Wittman.

Bobby enlists in the military after finishing High School and becomes a more decorated hero than Cotton.

Bobby is known to be a top-notch marksman. Given a few years and basic training, he could easily iron out into a good soldier. When pushed, he's shown some impressive determination (particularly when he stole the Belton armadillo and when Cotton put him in the hole.). It would also be hilarious for a Friendly Sniper to cap off a shot with "Vat are you talking about?"

Bill goes to college after leaving the Army and becomes a counselor/therapist.

Bobby will become a successful comedian and cartoonist and make shows based around his life. He will be married to Connie who will become a businesswoman more successful than her father and the Wassanasong family and destroy the latter's business in revenge for the way they treated her father and Arlen.
<<|Wild Mass Guessing|>>

The Reason Peggy lost interest in wanting another child...

Look at the episode where Peggy Hill stayed in the cast the entire episode. As you can tell, baby GH's crying was not only annoying people, but it was aggravating the heck out of everyone. After Peggy learned to make sure he was calmed and sleeping, Peggy realized that after all that happened, after being forced in a cast near a crying child, she decided she no longer wanted another child.

Luanne was an accident to her parents.

Both are horrible parents and not just to each other, but to their offspring as well without even realizing it. Perhaps the only reason for Luanne's existence was because her mother and father got drunk one night and unknowingly created her.

And Bobby Hill looks up to him because he aspires to have a similar career.

Peggy is kind of a sadist.

Considering what she did to Flat Stanley, she has to be a bit sadistic at least. She wasn't even teaching kids about safety. All that stuff she was trying to "warn" the kids about, it's just common sense to avoid all of that. She's worse than Sid. At least his toys were executed swiftly. Flat Stanley was shot, gored, and crushed, and somehow survived all of that. This combined with her narcissistic personality disorder would lead to a very scary individual.

In Bobby Goes Nuts, Peggy was wearing a cup.

She anticipated Bobby resorting to the kick, and wore a cup just in case. She told him that it doesn't work on women just to get him to stop doing that.

Hank and Peggy can't have any more children, because of Bobby.

Specifically, it was getting kicked in the crotch so damn hard. It was hard enough having one with that narrow urethra of Hank's, but Bobby kicking him in the crotch sealed the deal.

Cotton made up his past.

Hank was born after WWII, he never saw Cotton as he supposedly once was. Would it be crazy to think that Cotton made up or at least greatly embellished his life? Imagine this: Cotton was born deformed and made up the “blew my shins off” story to save face with his son. But he grew to resent Hank for being so naiive that he accepted the story without question, even in adulthood. The only time I can remember seeing Cotton without his legs covered up, he was wearing boxers and socks but he didn't have visible scars as you would imagine. Even if it were possible to not bleed out from having your legs shredded by gunfire, you would also imagine that rather than having his ankles attached to his knees in some mad science experiment, he would have simply become an amputee in a wheelchair. Cotton also blamed Tilly for Hank having weak knees and a narrow urethra. It is oddly convenient that Hank has leg issues and his dad had stubby legs as a seemingly unrelated coincidence. It would also explain Cotton's otherwise nonsensical worry that Good Hank would be born without shins.

The only character aside from the veterans who knew Cotton pre-WWII was Tilly, who Cotton was already established to abuse. If he didn't force her into silence, it's possible they agreed to keep the truth a secret due to Hank's low tolerance for things that challenge his worldview. As for the veterans, it's obvious they aren't in top form mentally. It's plausible Cotton marched into the veteran's hall one day and acted like he was one of them until they bought it. Cotton didn't even seem to know their names, instead calling them all nicknames and some of them shared "stinky" and "fatty". We have very little concrete evidence about Cotton's past except for Junichiro's existence which proves that Cotton had an affair in Japan. But even then, who is to say anything Cotton said about his history with Michiko was actually true? Cotton's word was proven to be unreliable when Peggy attempted to string together his stories into a coherent timeline for the military grave application. Note that he apparently backed out of that at some point since his last requests involved being cremated and having his ashes flushed. Last minute regret over his web of lies? Realizing he was playing with fire when Peggy of all people realized his story was sloppy and inconsistent?

Virtually every time Cotton's legs are shown uncovered, there is considerable scarring above his feet, and he does seem to have a verifiable record - consider that his application would have been denied had his service all been a lie or had no official records to back up his claims - and medals that are neither awarded flippantly nor without a paper trail. Plus he achieved the rank of colonel by serving in the Texas State Militia after the war, something that would be almost impossible to fake, as would his other war wounds shown when shirtless in Mexico which are confirmed by a doctor to be bullet wounds - with the bullets still embedded - in "Death Picks Cotton". As well, Hank played football in high school, which is well known to cause knee and leg problems later in life, more so considering Hank suffered a leg injury severe enough to stop playing at some point.

Further, his Japanese lover confirms his feet were reattached to his legs and that doctors thought they would fall off. Because Cotton had not seen her in sixty years and she had long since moved on, this can not simply be chalked up to abuse. Additionally, limb reattachment is not unheard of.

Dale really did light a cigarette by banging two rocks together.

As much like Dale as it would seem for it to be false bravado, Dale has never lied when it comes to smoking and has been known to use unusual sources to light his cigarettes.

Cotton's mental state stems from lead poisoning from his bullet wounds.

In "Death Picks Cotton", a doctor states that Cotton has at least four rusty bullets lodged in his chest.

Cotton had a second family in Highland.

Think about it he takes the alias surname Morgendorffer and has a son who despite treating just as bad as Hank actually saw him as a possible good Soldier and sent Jake to Military school, Not to mention in the Daria episode where Jake has a heart attack we find out that Mr. Morgendorffer didn't think his wife could do anything as she states to her son. in conclusion that makes Daria and Quinn Hanks Nieces and Bobby's cousins as well as pointing out this isn't the first time Cotton had relations with other women.

Cotton was buried at the Texas State Cemetery.

In "Cotton's Plot" he earns a plot in recognition of his service, and after his death it was stated he was buried there. In "Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key," Hank finds out Cotton was cremated and must flush his ashes down a toilet used by General Patton. While it could just be another retcon, it would be perfectly in character for Cotton to place an urn of someone (or something) else's ashes in a bus station locker just to humiliate Hank one last time.

On that note, the toilet tank says Topsy was flushed down that toilet, but Cotton mentioned he scattered Topsy's ashes over a prostitute, although it's entirely possible he scattered part of Topsy's ashes and flushed the rest.

Bill's family is inbred.

When Bill's cousin is the only one to visit Bill's family reunion in Blood and Sauce, he lists the fates of the rest of the family which basically comes to a long list of physical and mental issues, as well as infertility on a whole row of the family portrait. His cousin was also more than willing to sleep with him in the episode where they visited the family home, so there's at least some precedent in the last generation for inbreeding.

Buck Strickland really did kill Debbie

It could just be the fact that he's a Jerkass, but he seems oddly intent on framing someone else (Hank) for the crime, an act which he goes about quite methodically, and he comes awkwardly close to slipping up with his words and admitting to the crime on more than one occasion.

The girl Buck was dating in the Hank's Back episode was the insurance claims adjuster's daughter

The insurance claims adjuster said her daughter has a work shirt that says Hank on it, and fast forward a little bit to Hank trying to Buck to testify to Hank's worker's compensation claim legitimacy and you can see a blonde girl in the passenger seat smoking a cigarette.

It has been pointed out that it seems every few episodes, Hank has to relearn to accept Bobby's quirks. Most of these episodes don't actually overlap in what quirk they cover, so it is more like the strict and stoic Hank has to learn to accept each quirk INDIVIDUALLY rather than put it all under an umbrella of Bobby's Weirdness.

There was even an episode, one that had Bobby getting into Christian Rock, where Hank shows him a box of stuff they family has given up on. He says he didn't want Bobby's faith to end up in that box. Hank is probably counting on a number of said "quirks" to end up there though.

Hank is forgiving of Buck Strickland because he is everything that Cotton is with one key difference.

Cotton and Buck are both womanizing, hard drinking, gamblers. However, they treat Hank quite differently. Cotton sees Hank as nothing but a disappointment, belittles his career and his life choices. Cotton will even named his youngest son Good Hank and will loudly declare the bawling, lactating baby to be a better son than Hank.

Buck attributes a large amount of his business's success to Hank's work ethic and values. In an episode where Kahn tried to get rich quick, he outright calls Hank a "golden goose". In every Buck heavy episode, the formula tends to be Buck's debauchery getting out of hand. Hank gets upset and confronts Buck about it. Buck admits his wrong doing and takes steps to placate Hank, if not improve himself. This demonstrates a far deeper respect than Cotton has ever showed Hank.

The greatest display of Buck's love and respect for Hank would be the episode where Buck is getting inducted into the "Hall of Flame" Before the award ceremony Buck and his bastard son get into antics that drive Hank into heavily drinking before giving an important speech. After drunken Hank makes an ass of himself, Buck sets out to correct this. He even goes so far to manipulate events to get Hank inducted along with him!

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