Changes

Firstly, thank you to those of you who supported me on my leave from here and/or posted to my leave message. I sincerely wish those I talk with much good.

Its been an interesting couple of weeks. But, unfortunately, not in a good way. Things have turned south in the situation I am dealing with. I am beyond sad, more numb at this stage, trying to cope.

My most recent si was two nights ago. I was triggered by something unknown, had an unpleasant physical reaction out of nowhere. My mind was blank, not thinking on anything in particular at the time, it threw me for a loop. And so, si was the result.

It is my ONLY way of having any control in my life currently, or so it feels. That, and ultimately a way out once this is over.

I have started to distance myself from my T, which isn't a good sign. Things are so hard, I haven't been completely honest with my feelings & thoughts to some of those of you I've been in contact with. IRL people have NO idea of my true thoughts, feelings, actions and future intentions.

Mo...you are under so much stress and have to watch so much sadness, that it is no wonder you need that relief...please continue to talk to us...as you know, so many of us care so much about you...my days would be so much more painful without your caring texts...thank you for being so attentive to me, and being my friend.

hi Mo...i'm pleased to see you posting again
you are under so much stress so don't be too hard on yourself for how you're coping
it must be extremely difficult for you but you hold on and that's important for your friends and your "one''
I wish you could tell you T the whole situation but understand how hard that is at times
remember we care about you here :arms:
I've missed you