Campaign Zero

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(Quick apologies to the non-meat-eaters out there. You can skip this one, too, if you wish. This video and post is all about steak. And they do give a name to the final steak, basically personalizing the cow, which even I thought was a line too far…)

Yesterday the Department of Homeland Security launched a new hotline to “assist victims of crimes committed by criminal aliens.” The resulting “fuck you!” from average Americans was swift and hilarious.

Less than a day into its pitiful existence, the VOICE hotline has been rendered unusable by tipsters claiming to have seen criminal aliens of the extraterrestrial kind. I called four times. Twice all operators were unavailable. The other two attempts resulted in a busy signal. Other concerned citizens seeking to report a mothership streaking across the sky were told the line was closed despite calling during normal business hours.

(I really need a video of excessive laughter to post here. Any suggestions?)