JACKSON, MI -- I have to say 40’s pretty cool so far. It’s been a great week of hearing from folks I normally don’t get a chance to hear from. And those I see or hear from more often did a lot to make me feel special on my day. Thank you. I know I am loved.

There were moments though before I went to sleep last Thursday that I had a sense of peace, and in other moments, I had a sense of being overwhelmed. I want to keep moving forward and continue to heal letting go of more grief. I plan to keep writing and at the same time, the “and beyond” part of this 40-thing is still being written, so to speak. And there I was just 39 a week ago.

My phone started ringing last Friday just before midnight. Then some birthday wishes via text, and the Facebook page had a lot of birthday wishes from people, too. But there I was sleeping, right through all of it. What can I say? I was tired so I got some rest. That’s quite an anti-climatic way to leave my 30s and enter my 40s. But it could not have been more perfect for me.

It’s amazing how one thing can happen, like another birthday, to remind you of the important things. I kept thinking of my parents of course. I realize not a lot of people will understand what this journey continues to be like. But what’s more important is that I am finally starting to understand it for myself. I’ve said it before, I never imagined reaching this age without my parents, and now that I have, I’m feeling OK about it.

I told myself that night that they would not want me to be sad on my special day. I didn’t want to be either. I know that sounds easier than it truly was. I had to fight back some tears and needed to revisit some happier moments and times and most of all … remembering I am still living, so I need to live, happily.

I’ve heard from folks including some of the MLive readers privately and on the FB page that there is a more calm and centered feeling, a self-comfort at 40. True. I’m starting to worry less about stuff I can’t change. And redirecting my energy toward the things I can make happen.

My Daddy would say, “Bird, the Serenity Prayer isn’t just for drunks you know.” When it was his turn to chair the AA meetings he would take special time to really meditate on that Prayer. I did the same for myself -- I accept what I cannot change, it’s made me who I am and who I am growing to be.