Saturday, August 25, 2012

ozarks

1. Possums sleep
in the middle of the road with their feet in the air
2. There
are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in the Ozarks.
3.
There are 10,000 types of spiders.
4. If it grows, it sticks;
if it crawls, it bites.
5. "Onced" and "twiced" are words.
6. It is not a shopping
cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a
picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no
such thing as "lunch", only dinner and supper.
11. We don't
need driver's ed....if mama says we can drive, we can drive.
12. "Backards and fords" means
"I know everything about you."
13. "Jeet?" is actually a
phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a
watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
15. You
don't push buttons, you mash them.
16. You measure distance
in minutes.
17. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to
"A/C" in the same day.
18. Fried catfish is
the other white meat.
19. All the fairs are named after a
fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
20. You leave your house and garage both unlocked.
21. You know what a "dawg" is.
22. You carry
jumper cables in your car...for
your own car.
23. You only own four spices: salt, pepper,
Tabasco and ketchup.
24. Local papers have one page for news
and 6 pages for gossip.
25. You think that the first day of
deer season is a national holiday.
26. You find 100 degrees
Fahrenheit "a little warm".
27. The four seasons are Almost
Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
28. The first day
below 70 degrees is good pinto-bean weather.
29. Not everyone
can be from the Ozarks, it's a gift from God!