Convoluting the issues with facts since 1976.

Thursday Thirteen – iii

WordPress keeps a list of the search engine terms people use to find your blog. I’ve had some pretty funny ones lately and I thought I’d share them all with you…and of course my sarcastic comments follow… I also searched just my blog using the terms and linked to the correllating article(s).

GROCERY GAME WALMART: Everyday it seems, someone arrives on my blog via a search using the term “grocery game”. If you want to generate some traffic for your blog, use the words “Grocery Game” in a post somewhere! And, no, Walmart does not participate in the Grocery Game program. But I WISH THEY WOULD!!

CRICKETS PRAISING GOD: Seriously, this is on my search engine terms page at least once a week. Is there a verse about this in scripture or something? It seems to be a strong analogy.

TUXEDO PIE: This is from Olive Garden. It’s totally delicious. If you ever want a great CHEAP date night – take your hubby to Olive Garden, get some water, and share the Tuxedo Pie. Ok…so it’s still $6 for 1 slice of pie, but it’s SO worth it!

UNHEALTHY THINKING PATTERNS: yeah…almost every day, in some variation, someone arrives at my blog via this search. Sometimes it’s “unhealthy thinking patterns for Christians” or “Christian Negative Self Talk” or “Christian Thinking Patterns” – which I find really interesting. Glad to know so many Christians are seemingly aware of the internal battle of taking captive our thoughts unto Christ and then thinking on the things that are true! Good for you all!!

FIND WEIGHT LOSS COMMITMENT CONTRACTS: Not really sure how anyone ended up HERE with THAT search term because I can assure you ALL that I have NEVER EVER even CONSIDERED signing such a contract!! LOL! Seriously, click on the link to see the proof is in the pudding!

LIMESCALE DENTAL: Isn’t that hilarious? Who would search for such a term? Does someone actually have lime scale buildup on their teeth??? PLEASE EXPLAIN! They linked to my article about scraping lime scale off the faucet using dental floss. LOL! I bet they thought I was crazy!

GIVE PUP GENOA SALAMI: The first time I read that I thought it said, “Give UP genoa salami.” And I thought, “What? Who in the world is addicted to genoa salami?? How strange!” Now I know they were just looking for information to see if they could give their PUPPY genoa salami. The answer is NO. You can’t. Give them puppy food.

SARAH BLOG: Glad to know someone’s finally looking for ME and I’m not just the accidental click of the mouse! LOL!

F. CAROLYN GRAGLIA: She rocks. She’s one of my heroes. Everyone should read her book. It’s a tome, but it’s so worth it! So glad her name is bringing me fame! HAHAHAHA!

THING 1 AND THING 2: Now that’s kinda funny. Like, who really searched that term and what did they think they would find, exactly, on my little ol’ blog!!??!! I’m sure they were disappointed when they read the correlating article!

I AM EINSTEIN: I am Einstien. But no, seriously, whoever was looking for this either was searching for the personality test or had a very big ego!!

“PLACES LEFT UNFINISHED NOTES”: The greatest project I never finished! Ok so not the greatest project, but still. I rarely finish reading a book. I hardly ever read fiction unless it’s to my children. And then with non-fiction, I read just enough to understand the purpose of the book and I put it away and move on to the next book. So many books – so little time. 🙂

DEPRESSED REFORMED CHRISTIAN MOMS:This is by far the most poignant one I’ve seen on my list of search engine terms! I wish I knew WHO had come to my blog via this search. I would write to her and tell her SHE IS NOT ALONE!! I know, for me anyway, being involved in heavily reformed doctrine and churches simply fueled the fire of my depression a few years ago simply because of the nature of the reformed environment. All orthodoxy – little REAL LIFE orthopraxy. Lots of houses built on sand that have been tumbling down lately. SO GLAD God brought us out of the deeply reformed church we were involved with. Unfortunately, though, the damage had been done and 2 yrs later we are still recovering from being in a spiritually unhealthy church. I still believe in some of the tenants of the reformers, but no longer identify myself as “reformed”. I simply like to go by the term Christian. Christ was, after all, a nondenominational Jew. But my first thought was, to this woman, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!