After Josh Hamilton improved his batting average to .407 and clubbed his 16th and 17th home runs of the season last night against the Angels, Athletics’ right-hander Brandon McCarthytook to Twitter to ponder one of life’s greatest mysteries. Or at least the greatest mystery of the moment for major league pitchers.

McCarthy: How do we get it out, it Siri? There’s gotta be a way of getting it out. How? How do we do it?
Siri: You can’t.
Parker: That’s bullshit.
Siri: You still don’t understand what you’re dealing with, do you? The perfect hitting organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility towards a baseball.
Lambert: You admire it.
Siri: I admire its purity. A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
Parker: Look, I am… I’ve heard enough of this, and I’m asking you to pull the plug.
Siri: [McCarthy goes to disconnect Siri, who interrupts] Last word.
McCarthy: What?
Siri: I can’t lie to you about your chances, but…you have my sympathies.

My guess is that McCarthy does not receive the wisdom from his iPhone that he seeks and ends up giving up 2 more homers to Hamilton. McCarthy will then tweet something amusing about it which the press will eat up, thus letting McCarthy off the hook for giving up the bombs in the first place. And that is the real genius of Brandon McCarthy.