Recently, I found myself sitting next to a friend of mine. After a casual chat, she found out I am now in the 10th grade.

“But you’re SO short!” she exclaimed.

Yes. Standing at 5’2″, I am, I admit, short. I gave her a wry smile. Her comment forced me to recollect another incident that took place a year ago, when a classmate and I had to run an errand for a teacher by photocopying some assignments. Next to us, a girl and her friend were giggling at what seemed to be the funniest joke in the world. The alpha decided to speak to me.

“Dude, which grade are you in?” she asked me.

A little shocked that a complete stranger has asked me this, I reminded myself of serial killers and how they just need a little information to put you to eternal rest.

Hesitantly, I replied-“um, 9th”

This girl is tickled pink by my answer.

“Dude, guess which grade I’m in?”

Ah, I understood then. This was regarding my HEIGHT.

I looked at the girl. Taller than me, obviously, by about two inches, but juvenile enough to be amused by my height. If I were to tell her the truth, I’d say pre-school, but I reply reluctantly, by guessing 7th.

The girl and her friend gave a short peal of laughter and said, “Dude, I’m in 6th”

Well dude, I want to tell her, I don’t really care. Dude, did you know because of these physical attributes, shorter people can excel as gymnasts, divers, skiers, martial artists, rock climbers, figure skaters, rodeo riders, soccer players and long distance runners? And dude, within their weight classes they are excellent wrestlers, boxers, and weight lifters, so if I wanted I could throw you a punch that could result in a bloody nose? And that since 1992, when an early paper illustrating the greater longevity of shorter people appeared in the Bulletin of the World Health Organization, scientists have presented substantial findings showing that shorter, smaller people live longer-reason being that bigger bodies have more cells and these cells are subject to replacement due to wear or damage? Tom Cruise, Danny DeVito, Napoleon, all fantastic at their field of work, all short. Did you know that, dude?

Instead, I replied, pathetically, with “um”.

The photocopy guy handed her the assignment, and she and her minion walked right out of the room. My classmate looked at me. I stared back. We both started laughing, hysterically.

It has become, now, a sort of epic tale, told many times since, to different friends and relatives, who get a good laugh out of it. But I can’t help think, that if I ever meet her again, I will give her the facts.

I don’t think height matters at all. Short people wish they were tall and tall people wish they were shorter. The grass is always greener on the other side.
I, for one, love my height Short people rule haha