By definition, one divided by zero is undefined. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author Unknown

Don't use a big word where a diminutive word will suffice.One of the check-out counters had a sign that said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.Two thirds of Americans can't do fractions. The other half, just don't care.A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So lets all get wasted and have the time of our lives!Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.Calm down. It's only ones and zeros.Always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!I don't care who you are, Fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!I tried switching to gum but I couldn't keep it lit.Im not as think as you drunk i am.Statistics show every two minutes another statistic is created."When you're run down the best thing to take is the license number.Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for 75 centsI bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.What happens if you get scared half to death twice?I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. Now, the guy who invented the other three... he was the genius.I'm normal. It's everyone else that's weird.Evening news: Where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.To make things simple...let's automatically assume that everything I say is right.People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.The worst thing about censorship is [deleted by censorship bureau].Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.A guy walked into a bar. He was treated for minor injuries.The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train."I've been seeing spots in front of my eyes.""Have you seen a doctor?""No, just spots."I must be wishing on someone else's star because it seems someone else is always getting what I wished for.A wise man washes his hands after he goes to the bathroom. A wiser man doesn't go to the bathroom on his hands.Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.I date this girl for two years-and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."Remember: 'i' before 'e', except in Budweiser.If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die AnywayI only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. and MY way. Which is really the WRONG way, only faster!Don't judge a book by its movie.The Next Time You Think You're Perfect, Try Walking On Water~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good morning ever boomie.

Welcome to the weekend!!

I go back to work today.

Sometime.

This afternoon.

At two o'clock to be exactly.

I work today.......and then..........I'M OFF TOMORROW!!!

That's one of the few good things about a fixed schedule rotation. "Yup"

Am I ready to get back in the old saddle?

Not even.

I still have saddle sores from before.

Not to mention very sore feet.

Oops! I did mention them didn't I?

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

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There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, Cailyn and Haroula. Joe sorry you have to go back to work today but at least you have tomorrow off! Ana have fun at the bachelorette party! Cailyn enjoy your day. Haroula hope the sun shine on your day. Have a Happy Day All!

Good morning everyone. Scott, Tammy, and her mom, thank you all for your prayers. They are in hotel rooms for now until something more permanent can be found. Not sure what's on the agenda for today yet. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Omelets, and Waffles in the NC.

Hi, everyone. Sorry it's been a while. I caught a bug - I seem to keep catching everything that's been going around this year - and then I was caught up in other things for a while. I've been looking for another job. Not that I want to, but they've cut my hours so much, I'm being forced to.

Anyway, hopefully I should be able to return to my regular posting schedule again.

Hope everyone has been doing well. I'm off to try and catch up on what I missed this past week or so.

Have a great Saturday, everyone.

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Interrogator: [True or false?] All mangoes are golden. Nothing golden is cheap. Conclusion - all mangoes are cheap.

It's a beautiful day out there. I got up to find hubby and Per up. As soon as Cully heard the Mario music, he came out of dad's room.

Soot and I are going to feed the 4 legged monkeys and then head out to town to check out shoes for my walking. I'm hoping to get a pair that will allow me to keep walking. Then back home to grab the dogs and go walking and after that, Son will go to work so we will have the boys.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Another glorious weather day here in paradise. I'm loving it. Can't decide on sweatshirt or t-shirt. Even considering putting on shorts. Ohhhhh!

New neighbor across the street came over and asked if I would take care of his kitties while they go away for a few days. Awwwwww. He doesn't know anyone in the neighborhood, we made contact as they were moving in and he knows I'm the unofficial official neighborhood detective. So I get to go over there and feed and pet 2 lovely indoor kitties. Spayed, neutered, declawed and they stay strictly inside. Should be an easy job. Perk is that I get to see what improvements the owners (who lived there for 20 years) made when they moved out. Neat.

The guy laughed when I mentioned we would need a signed 'no fault' contract. Ha. I plan on not getting friendly with the kitties so they won't want to 'venture out'. I've perfected the 'foot in the door opening technique' over the years to stop the 'door rush'. I've had some real escape artists in my house. One figured out how to JUMP over my foot. Had to employ foot, hand, leg, etc for that one. Wow.

Off to count Outdoorsies. Finally managed to flea drop the last of the team this morning.