He's probably just trolling but in fairness Hellsing Ultimate isn't very good by a lot of standards. I like it but c'mon... the plot is basically "Badass **** happens." The characters are interesting but there's no ultimate lessons to be learned from the series. It's just a popcorn anime done as well as a popcorn anime can be done.

So I'd say it's good but incredibly shallow when compared to stuff like Erureka Seven, Evangelion (which isn't as deep as it thinks it is but is actually deeper than most give it credit for), or Sword Art Online (which is a carefully crafted anime with an astonishing message of "See, this is how you 'don't' write a story').

Though you should really keep to saying "I don't like it." instead of "It's ****." because on most technical levels Hellsing is fantastic at best and unambitious at worst. It's not high-art but it's good enough to merit not being lumped in with other crappy anime.

Every now and then it's worth bearing in mind that the stupid people aren't entirely wrong when they decide to watch movies like Transformers. Hellsing is in the same vein except it's executed a hundred times better. It's illogical and nonsensical and certainly puts style over substance however it cuts out the really dumbass pandering aspects of Transformers as well as just generally doing all of those good things mentioned far better than Transformers.

It's a popcorn series that's not there to broaden your horizons nor expand your mind, but it's not there to cash in on your basic urges for wanton destructions either. It's a testament to the things we love and what we love about them. Vampires, religious zealots, werewolves, and... well I'm not gonna lie the Cyborg kinda comes out of left field but... I can't say it's not thematically fitting for the series in its own retardedly cool way.

I'm not saying the series is bad, just that it doesn't aspire to be anything more than a balls-to-the-wall gothic bloodbath. Perhaps they could have put some more thought and meaning into the series but I kinda think that'd spoil the fun if they did.

Oh no, I meant it's a joke that I'm praising it. SaO is crap and Kirito is a Grade-A example of author self-insertion. The games make little coherent sense in regards to how video games are meant to be played, the characters behave illogically, and whilst I do actually really like the romance between Kirito and Asuna that becomes simply a diamond in the dog-mess.

Personally, I liked the series... up until the halfway point. I would have been just fine if they ended it with them all getting out after they killed the creator; maybe even having one episode showing how they all readjusted back to their lives (I know they kind of did that, but that's besides the point). But I was very annoyed that they continued and sent them back into the game. I'll be honest, I never even finished the series simply because I felt that it overstayed it's welcome with those shenanigans. If they would have kept the series to the original game, I would have been happier.

Also it is kind of annoying how Kirito is just pretty much an all powerful character, matched only by the creator of the game. It would have been awesome to give the spotlight to Klein or Agil from time to time, rather than have them just kinda appear to help off screen when he "needs help" (When it's actually just 'keep them busy for a moment so I can do other stuff'). Or how about Silica or Lisbeth? They appear for one episode just so Kirito could have an excuse to keep trying to be the hero. Even had Lisbeth fall in love with him. Don't see much of them later.

tl;dr
Story should have stayed in original game with more character development from the rest of the cast.

I did too, then I started to think about it and realised it's a pile of crap. The animation is sterling and the times when it focusses on Asuna and Kirito being people were the highlights of the series, however the series suffered from a lot of self-intertion fantasy (When a character is OP to the point where he is almost unbeatable and breaks the laws of the world and of logic just so he can beat people in a cool manner it's almost always because the author wants to be that character really, really badly to the point where he is blind to the flaws of the writing).

There's also the unnecessary harem element, the scattergun approach to time-progression that works sometimes and doesn't work other times, the lack of focus on what is meant to be the main conflict in the series (we saw three boss-fights and each time was just about Kirito showing off how much ass he kicks), the lack of focus on the elements of the series that are the most engaging (people living their lives within the world), the stretches in logic (Kirito is the strongest guy there to the point where others need to cheat to beat him and yet we almost never see him levelling and there are others who devote their lives to fighting and levelling and none are anywhere nead as strong as him), and the lack of tension (Kirito is entirely unharmed until the first real threat appears and it's meant to be an enemy that a large group of people take on at once... and Kirito beats it double-handed... hue).

The series has it's good points and some good ideas but is held back by a clearly amateur writer and a clearly broken protagonist.

Just watched SaO recently and my criticisms are much the same. In the first few episodes Kirito was was either empathetic to a fault or too arrogant for anyone's good. The other characters are often irrational and when they introduced Yui and her "powers", I gotta say, I really disliked that part. She just wasn't relate-able as an AI acting like a human.

I liked the story, but yea, the characters were often incoherent, and it could've cut off at the end of SaO (the game) and made more sense that way.

1 thing I have to complain about ultimate is the terribly place silly comic relief stuff. Its a dark anime. I will agree with you and take the red thumbs up my bunghole. Funny face **** ruined Ultimate.

Essentially Schrodinger Nazi Cat boy/girl/whatever gets his head exploded by the protagonist with a 13 mm handcannon, that's designed for killing Psycho-Priests.
His ''caption'' is from the Abridged Series... That's about as good as I can explain it...