I like the list, my only criticism is that you have over equiped meaning you have sub 40 models which is low for 2000 points.

The fat I would trim:

1. Lightning claw sergeants (you have a terminator assault squad and GK terminator squad, do you need them to be assaulty too? - they are back field objective holders)

2. Dozer blades, extra armour, hunter killer missiles. With the hammernators starting in the Raven (nice use of their invun BTW) all you will have on the table at the beggining of the game is a Land Raider, Scouts and two Razorbacks. 4 Targets - your transports wont last very long so the upgrades seem excessive. If i was facing you I would wreck those lascannons first priority and forget about the Raider because it wont be able to flame me for a turn or two.

3. Librarian ML3? One too many for me. Run him lighter and make a choice on the powers - what is he trying to do, what does he need to do it?

4. Brotherhood banner on a 5 man squad? Its a usefull thing to have but a bit costly on 5 men - like with psybolt ammo - for 10 man squads to get the most for your money.

5. Hunter killer is prob usefull on a LR Redeemer as it means it can fire T1. Leave the storm bolter the extra armour and the psyflame. An increase from S6 to S7 doesnt take you to the next instant death threshold, it will only make a difference if your flaming high toughness units like monstrous creatures or Wraithguard etc - all things that will wreck you if they get so close anyway. I would add the multi melta instead

With these savings you could add a whole other unit - more usefull than upgrades IMO

I really wanted to say thanks for helping my N00bish self out. I have been trying to wrap my head around allies for a bit, and 40k in general, but I rarely play outside of a small group of friends, so I'm in no way competitive. I love the help. Thanks again.