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Jockey Slut 3

An interview

March 1999

Is
it a DJ's job to educate or entertain?
Nowadays a DJ is someone who
gets too much respect and money for playing other
people's music. People have forgotten about the days
of Grandmaster Flash and people with skills on the
turntables. My mix is inspired by the old hip hop
chop mixes by Double D and Steinski, Coldcut's late
eighties mixes, and Grandmaster Flash's "Adventures
on The Wheels Of Steel" which was one of the
first tracks I bought.

Things
would you demand if you had a Junior Vasquez-style
DJ booth built?
I'd have a set of curtains on
the front so I didn't have to look at the sweaty crowd,
bottles of Tequila and all my mates there so we could
have our own party.

Favourite
DJ at the moment?
MixMaster Mike

Favourite
Beastie Boys track?
'So whatcha' want?

Why
are there no youth tribes anymore?
Ten years ago ravers were ravers
and rock festivals played rock and folk festivals,
folk. But now music's gelled and Ecstasy's killed
off football violence and culture clashes – which
is no bad thing.

What
inspires your hairstyles?
Am I the right person to be
answering this? I got into the snowboarding thing
I had my hair blonde. Now I'm in a goth mode. Nah,
the blonde was played out for me so I blacked out.

Which
bands should head a rave revival tour in 2011?
N-Joi I liked. Adamski and Frankie
Bones Djing.

Any
boyz' Own dreams to fulfil like Keith the Ducati kid?
I'm into the motors. I built
a turbo Porsche to go racing in on track. So when
the weather comes round, that's what I'm going to
do. Keith's a fuckin' good rider. He could go on to
do it professionally.

When
you were a young lad did you masturbate over your
U.S. label boss, Madonna?
Not Madonna, no. No pop people,
just teachers an' shit like that.

Are
promo videos the new rock n' roll?
Absolutely not. Even Brian Adams
could do a good video. It's someone else bringing
the vibe, that's why when we do videos we get involved
in the direction. I feel like I've co–directed
"Firestarter", "Poison", "Start
the dance" and "Breathe".

Favourite
classical music?
Bullseye theme tune. I'd love
to go in a bar and rattle that off on a piano.

Favourite
album sleeve?
AC/DC – If you want blood.

Would
you get a nip and tuck when you're older?
I can't see myself having a
hair transplant or a face–lift but I'd do something
to my stomach to make sure I don't get a beer belly.

Do
you get recognized in the street?
People who recognize me are
people who are into the band. I don't get grannies
coming up to me going "Ooh fucking hell".
Keith does.

If
a granny did come up to you and go "Ooh fucking
hell" what would you say back?
I'd give her respect.

Perfect
evening in?
A bit of porn. A Peter North
classic. I'm not fussy about the birds. I just do
normal shit at home, watch Eastenders, get stoned.

Favourite
scene in a film?
Casino's my favourite film and
I can think of a number of scenes. The bit where Pesci
stabs him in the neck, "Is this you're fuckin'
pen?" When De Niro calls Sharon Stone a cunt,
"CUNT!" Great film.

What
genre of film would you like to score?
I have actually come up with
a script for a cool film which I need to get someone
to write with me. I'd like to write the music, direct
and cast it. It would be great to come up with a wicked
cast of people you don't expect to see in films.

Who
should replace Denis Van Outen on the Big Breakfast?
She leaving? Johnny should do
it on his own. They should go together and do something
else because he's wasted on that programme. Denise
is wicked too, I really liked that. 'Babes In The
Wood', thought it was funny. I liked the bird who
played the stupid one.

What's
the most eccentric thing you've bought with your money?
When I was twelve I saved up
for weeks to get fifty quid for a Ninja suit and sword.
I only put it on every now and then. I was gutted
I'd wasted the money.

What's
the most eccentric thing you've bought with your proper
money?
I bought an eight foot high
coffin which is a drinks cabinet. It sounds tacky
but it's actually a class piece of furniture. I bought
a Jacuzzi which I used two times but then sold to
my manager.

Have
you ever ridden a horse?
Yeah, once fourteen years ago
when my Dad took us to Cornwall to this Shirehorse
centre to trek along the coast line. My Dad's girlfreind
fell off a horse a year ago and fucked herself up
so these days I don't get on anything that hasn't
got an engine.