Hit brakes on co-worker’s drive to carpool

Sunday, March 3, 2013 -- Anonymous (not verified)

Sections:

OMG

Monday, March 4, 2013

Author(s):

herald.staff

Dear OMG,

A really annoying coworker just found out we live two blocks from each other. I have a car, she doesn’t. She’s loud, thinks everyone wants her opinion on everything and basically never shuts up. Now that she knows we’re nearly neighbors, she wants to chip in for gas and carpool. Yes, it’s a 20-minute drive for me vs. like an hour on the T and a bus for her, but I can’t stand her. We work the same hours, in the same department, so there’s big potential for awkwardness if I don’t find a good way to say “hit the road.” Help.

— No Ride for You

Dear No Ride For You,

The best way out of this one is playing a selfish card. (You already don’t like her much, so hopefully you’re not sad about that). Tell her that your drive to work is “me time” for you — the way others de-stress with a sweat session or a long hot shower, you sing your lungs out in the car every chance you get and it keeps you sane (warble a few off key notes for good measure). Insist that your drive in is your only real alone time (throw a spouse or roommate under the bus if you have to), then go lock your car doors and drive away. Preferably, do this on a Friday.

Dear OMG,

My boyfriend and I tend to get in a lot of small fights, and to make up he always buys me a gift. Problem is, they’re usually things like sky-high heels, lingerie, champagne or roses — things he finds sexy, and things that have a selfish bonus for him. I’m sick of fighting all the time, and I’m sick of the objectifying presents. Is this a deal breaker?

— Dolled up

Dear Dolled up,

Kudos to you for recognizing that gifts in the form of lacy thongs are not gifts for you at all. You’re getting played, and it’s time to get out. Unless your man can show some real thoughtfulness — like, the next gift is tickets to see your favorite band, one he doesn’t even like — kick him to the curb.

Dear OMG,

I have a friend who maybe weighs 110 pounds soaking wet — she looks great. But lately she has been making strange comments: mentioning she is on Weight Watchers, contributing to a recipe exchange with the disclaimer “I’ve been eating healthy lately” (the recipe she linked to had the calorie count posted prominently) and generally making comments about her food intake. I’m average weight, but it makes me really uncomfortable that someone so small is making these statements. Should I say something?

— Eating Dessert

Dear Dessert,

Yes. If it’s making you, an average person, uncomfortable, it’s probably affecting overweight people and others struggling with eating or body image issues as well. Try something jokey at first — if she says “I’m trying to eat healthy” when refusing a tray of doughnuts, you can retort, “Well I’m trying to eat more deep fried lard” and see whether that shuts her down. (After all, aren’t most of us trying to eat healthy at least some of the time?) If it still doesn’t slow her comments, pull her aside and say you’d rather not talk about calorie consumption or weight — not just for your mental sake, but for the sake of bored people everywhere.

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