A few weeks ago BelAir2000 uploaded an interesting video titled MY THAI WIFE (HOW GUYS LOSE IT ALL IN THAILAND) SCAMS. The story follows Ted as he falls for Tip, a bar girl.

The first thing to do in analyzing this video objectively is to take away the nationalities of the characters.

Ted is just Ted; Tip is just Tip, Mint is just Mint. What country they hail from is immaterial.

In the beginning of the video Ted makes the comment that when someone needs you, you feel obliged to take care of her. Some might call this codependent. When you feel obliged to take care of a prostitute, I call this the Captain Save-a-Whore syndrome.

Mistake #1 - trying to save a woman. Ted is no Richard Gere and Tip is no Julia Roberts - this isn’t a movie, it’s real life.

He says he knew something wasn’t right and he knew he was being conned, yet instead of trusting his intuition, he proceeded and got screwed over.

Mistake #2 - he didn’t trust his instincts. This is something men and women both struggle with. They feel something isn’t right yet stay in the situation.

He is shown flirting with numerous bar girls - most of which are unattractive and he then comments how some people say to him, “the poor little Thai bar girls, blah, blah, blah are being forced into working in the bar and that it’s a business transaction.

“They do exactly what they want to at a price acceptable to them. I’m a consumer. They’re happy, I’m happy. What the hell is wrong with that?”

Mistake #3 - If he’s a consumer, then his dealings with the women are nothing more to business transactions. This comes back to haunt him.

Whether legal or illegal, whether moral or amoral, prostitution takes place all over the world. People use electricians to wire their homes and businesses, plumbers to fix their sinks and toilets, and prostitutes to take care of their sexual and emotional needs. Prostitutes are not supposed to be used as wives.

Ted goes on to say, “If you get divorced at 32, not much on the cards for you. All you have to look forward to is three kids and loads of emotional baggage. You come to Thailand and suddenly there’s all these nubile young things that genuinely want to be with you.”

Mistake #4- You’re in a bar with bar girls who want your money and are willing to exchange their time for your money. That does not mean they genuinely want to be with you for the right reason. “Suddenly, a beautiful girl was in the corner of my eye and each time I glanced, she was smiling at me.”Mistake #5 - Ted was obviously not accustomed to getting attention from women but just because a woman smiles at you doesn’t mean you have to take her to your room or more importantly, fall for her. “Suddenly, she’s in control of my money.” Once married, he says, “I could have opened a bank account but I basically turned everything over to her.” This is the ultimate in stupidity. He barely knew this girl who was working as a bar girl and he’s going to give her his life savings because “she’s good with money.” So good, it became difficult for him to get spending money from her or HBO.Mistake #6 - when it because difficult for you to get money to fill your motorbike up with gas or to get HBO, this is the time to stand up, be a man, and tell her you want that money. Yell, scream, discuss, do whatever you need to do but you should have manned up and not allowed her to dictate the money down to every satang.

Mint seemed to have quite a bit of influence over Tip and when she said, “I jealous farang,” those words gave insight into her persona. I’m jealous of Donald Trump - how positive are these feelings? You can understand that life is what you make it, you can let the wealth of others motivate you, or you can let it make you bitter. In her case, it seems like she’s bitter.

She also said that when Ted and Tip got married, they had so much money. Pay, pay, pay, pay…pay for everything.

At least someone acknowledges this. Too bad it doesn’t mean much in the end. Another thing that gets me is when Mint tells of how she’s taking care of her entire family. Ted paid everything for Tip, he’s now supposedly part of her family, and yet she throws him out?

Ted had a problem - he didn’t have the sort of woman he wanted and he felt unwanted. Tip had a problem - she was desperate for a better life for herself and he daughter. We all want this. Once she met Mint, she gained the confidence to look for a foreigner who might have the solution to her problem. That foreigner was Ted.

When Tip made the comment, “Thai people work very hard, little money. Farang work a little bit, big money,” it showed how very little she knows about foreigners. I’m sure many, many Farang would disagree with her statement, myself included. For that matter, I think many Thais who are well off and had to work hard for their money would disagree.

Viewers may not know this but at the very end when Tip is walking through the field, she says, “I want to work as an air hostess.” Clearly, she is delusional. In my opinion, the chance of her being hired by an airline to work as a stewardess is ZILCH.

It is easy to blame Ted for being foolish or Tip for being a thief. It is easy to blame the cultural differences. The truth is that it takes two to tango.

Ted broke a golden rule - do not get emotionally involved with a prostitute. Tip let her need and greed justify her actions.

She came off in this video as a straight-up thief and she should be lucky she didn’t marry a man who had some balls. But then again, this is probably why she was with him. He was easily manipulated and she knew this.

I should say that this video is reflective of a very small percentage of Thai women. Most Thai women do not work as prostitutes and never would consider doing so. Just like anywhere else, there are good women and bad women. There is a saying here in Thailand, “Tong rujak khun nan nan.” I need to know you for a long time. Maybe if more men applied the golden rule, didn’t let the little head think for the big head, and remembered to take time to get to know a person, we would hear less stories like Ted and Tips.

These women, no matter what profession they choose or for what reason, are human too. Many have no other good choices or at least know of them or being a prostitute is made to look like a good way to get what they want and need out of life. I've know many who just wanted a good man to take care of them and their children, just like in the West, and when they found that were loyal, loving wives. As you have not taken some moral high ground how do you respond?

Your experiences and my own, plus what I've seen here, differ somewhat. Yes, of course there are women working as prostitutes who are good women. But I think they are few and far between. Unless you are in a position to always pay. If someone is okay with buying affection/love and they know that if their money stops so does the love, then that's up to them. There are greedy, self-serving women working in offices too though, so...

For the guy who comes over here and knows very little about the country and the culture though, I think it's better just to have fun with them and move on. To each is own I guess. But in this case, Ted paid a dear price.

Reply

Nick

5/30/2013 10:50:59 am

Totally agree with your post Scott. What is it with these guys. Why are they so dumb? They go on holiday to Thailand, meet some average looking Isaan woman working in a bar and think they are in love.

Men like Ted deserve what they get because of their stupidity.

Women like Tip get what they deserve because they have found a way to better themselves. It may not be ethical but as you well know from living in Thailand, when there are little prospects for you, people will do whatever is necessary to get ahead in life.

Love your blog and your straight talking approach. Keep up the good work.

For some men, Thai women seem so different than the women they've been with they can't contain themselves. Thailand is an exotic place. Add in slender, attractive women and forget about it! The thing is, absolutely none of the women were even half attractive that this guy Ted was pulling.

Tip did her job which was to play on Ted's weaknesses. He was needy and had no self-esteem, plus he seemed like an alcoholic. Make no mistake, she's a thief, but here in Thailand the end sometimes justifies the means.

Reply

Robert

6/4/2013 09:41:33 pm

I think your site is great Scott the best I have seen in a long time, your Straight to the point With no bullshit, I have got to lift my hat to you Scott for how well you have done in Thailand Plus you have got two great boys there,

The movie "MY THAI WIFE (HOW GUYS LOSE IT ALL IN THAILAND) SCAMS" Seems to have been removed by the user. Can you describe it more? I listened to your whole video. I broke many of those rules recently with an Indonesian woman who I met in Taipei.

Excellent and well prepared video . I followed that pattern you described except I met my Wife on internet. I used almost all my money in three short years. A lot of guys can cope with it but you need one enormous amount of loot. . They and their families and the village constantly expect money. Good luck to you poster American in Bangkok