Balancing graduate school and family

Month: April 2015

Today is my birthday and I am turning 30. I am not sure what the big deal is? My cousins have been freaking out because I’m getting ‘old.’ Please, I already accepted that fact, but it’s so annoying when they keep saying “OMG, your getting old”, “I can’t believe your 30!” or “OMG, if I turn 30, I’d died and be depressed.” Last night, I totally TONED them out, and the funny part is this, they are not too far behind. Also, I’ve pretty much accomplished most of my goals/wishes such as:

I’ve traveled around and I mean OUTSIDE the U.S.

Academically, I have BA and Master’s and now I’m working on my Phd (I’m regretting…I’ll explain this later) and I am the ONLY one in my family to do so. When I say family, I’m including my extended family (ie. cousins).

I have my full-time job at a great college in the city that never sleeps. AND, I just got another job offer for an adjunct position.

Landed my dream internship at this great research institute during my first year of my PhD program! (this I am super proud of).

I know there is alot more I need to add to this list, but I’m too tired.

I am content on what I accomplished so far, but I am not happy now. I thought I would graduate this semester, but I am not because I have to make some changes in my dissertation and none of my committee members and advisor will be here over the summer. Therefore, my defense and prospects to graduate is now delayed. I was completely devastated, you have no idea, but I was 100% sure I was going to graduate. Like my dad says, ‘everything happens for a reason,’ and I am trying to be as positive and sane as I can be, but this really ruined my bday (not to sound childish), but i have no desires to be in a celebratory mood.

Long story short. I will defend my dissertation next week and basically I’m being set up for failure. Apparently, my dissertation is a piece of shit (according to my committee). This is not good, I already have a full-time job as a research associate, but I’m on my 6th year in my phd program. My advisor is on sick leave this semester and I have a new advisor, who I thought would be a great person and excellent transition, especially from a shitty advisor (God forgive me). I have endured so much bullshit from my department and my old advisor and I am at the point where I just want to be done with this fucking dissertation and degree. Now I’m sitting a starbuck and trying to put my dissertation defense powerpoint together. Wish me luck and I really hope I can pass this. I don’t mind working on the edits over the summer, but my new advisor thinks it would take a whole FUCKING year and I can’t do that, if that’s the case.

If I had a competent advisor, I would not be in this position. I would need a miracle from the POPE and all the GODS out there for my dissertation defense next week. I really want to just graduate this semester. Well, let’s see what happens. Wish me luck and please pray for me world! I will need all the prayers out there.