Saturday, January 24, 2015

Dan and I are absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support and prayers you have given to us and to Ella. We have read each comment on the blog, each email, and each comment on Instagram aloud to one another and we have cried and sobbed. We have felt so loved and held in this time of shock and grief over losing sweet Amelia so suddenly and too soon. Your words have soothed our broken hearts, your tears have made us feel understood in our grief, and we have felt the love of your comforting hugs.

Knowing that so many of you are saying a prayer for Amelia has brought us the most special gift. It is as if all your many prayers are carrying her on wings of love and she is being ushered into heaven by you. I can never thank you enough for making us feel this and making Amelia so loved in this moment. She was our gift, and you are our gift also. I cherish each and every one of you. While we might not know each other personally I feel we know one another's soul- the soul that loves house and home and dogs (pets.)

To all of you who have mentioned your lost beloved pets- our sympathies to you. We are so grateful that you told us about your loves.

Tonight when I light our candles we will do it as a family and say "Thank you" for each and every one of you- you have given us the gift of love and prayer and understanding and we are so very, very grateful.

Through tears we Thank you.

with much love,

Joan and Dan and Ella

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own,live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.We cherish memory as the only certain immortality,never fully understanding the necessary plan."

- Irving Townsend -

Several days ago I realized that we did not have any photos or video of Amelia running through the woods, We always assumed we would have the luxury of time.

Then, last night I found this photo on my phone (Amelia is on the left.)

This is how we will always remember her...

"They come to us,from shelters or friends or in any number of ways,these beings of fur or feather or other outer shells.They come to us wanting onlyto be fed, sheltered, and loved.And we take them into our homes and our hearts.They may have prized pedigrees,or they may be abandoned or abusedand rough around the edges.But there is something about them,some sort of light in their eyesthat tells us they are meant for us.And a sweet dance of lovebegins with our new friends.We watch them delightedly discover their new home,laugh at the antics of kitten or puppy,smile as the former lost soulsettles comfortably into our arms.They become a beloved member of our family,a reminder of the uninhibited joythat we have often forgotten how to feel.The dog that excitedly runsto greet his human friend returning home,or the contented cat curled up on a lapremind us of how largeunfettered love can be.They come to teach us to remember how to love.They come to teach us that our hearts,so often battered by this world that we struggle through,are still open enough to feel wonder and mysteryand a precious connection to another being.And we love them, and care for them,and experience the joywe thought was lost from our lives.But life is fragile.One day, perhaps unexpectedly,or perhaps after a long struggle with illness,our precious friends are gone.And we mourn them deeply.We feel lost, and alone,and that the joy is once again gone from our lives.We feel anger, and pain, and fear.We question Deity, and wonder why.Life is fragile.Their lives are more fragile than ours.We cannot escape death,and for it to take our most precious friends,who ask so little,seems unfair and too much for us to bear.But they leave us always with a gift.They leave us with that love they gave, that joy they sparked.Our hearts are larger for having loved them.We are enriched by having these special souls in our lives,even if it was for too brief a time.Love never dies.And the love that was createdby our special friends who came into our livesis a living thing,always a part of our being.We may think our hearts are closing again,but we cannot erase the factthat they have been opened.They teach us love for a reason:so that we will have it in our hearts always.Each day, each act of kindness or love,is a tribute to our pets who have moved on.Honor your special friend with kindness and love.Each day, reach out to your living companionsand let them know how precious they are.Reach out to others in your lifeand let the love your friend brought you live on.Reach out to others in need, whether human or animal.I can think of no better gift than the love they teach us.And I can think of no better way to honor their memoriesthan by extending that love.In this way, they will truly live forever."

- Ginger-lyn Summer -

Dan has said many, many times over the last several days that I have the most wonderful readers on my blog. I could not have said it better or agree more. Right after Amelia passed Dan said a quote from the movie "Shadowlands"..."The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."

We both thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are blessed to have you here, We are so very grateful to have had sweet Amelia in our lives, and for you.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

It is with broken hearts that I tell you that today we had to put our sweet, beautiful girl Amelia down. If you had told me yesterday morning as we were having a cup of tea in the living room with the fireplace going and Amelia's head on my lap (Ella chose to be upstairs on the mama's bed) that I would be penning this post today I would not have believed it ... not in a million years.

Just after sitting in the living room Amelia and I came upstairs and joined Ella while I checked emails. Several minutes later I heard Amelia re-position herself and moan. She did it a second time. I had not heard her moan like that since the day she came home from the vet a month and a half ago after having her teeth cleaned and several bad teeth pulled. I knew she was in some kind of pain. I went downstairs for a moment and when I came back up she had jumped to the floor. I loved on her and tried to get her to walk to the rug that was bathed in sunlight, thinking it would feel good to her. She walked towards me and stumbled. I rushed to her and sat with her as I called Dan telling him to bring the car that we had to take her to the vet.

We left her at the vet for them to run tests and x-rays. All tests were normal. Our vet had us take her to an Emergency Clinic for overnight monitoring. Upon arrival there they did further x-rays and found that she had fluid around her heart. Her sweet little heart. We were told there were one of three outcomes, and would know more today from a Cardiac specialist who would do ultrasound on her. We cried and prayed for her all night, but sadly early this morning we learned that it was the worst case scenario.... she had a large, aggressive, bleeding tumor on her heart.

She was diagnosed with Pericardial Effusion caused by a massive bleeding tumor on her heart. Fatal. We would have moved the sun and moon for her if there was anything.... anything we could have done, but we were informed that due to the size of the tumor even if they had removed the fluid around her heart that it would reoccur- within minutes or days- but more likely minutes/hours, and even then she would probably never make it out of the hospital due to complications of the procedure. We didn't want her to suffer for one single second. She was uncomfortable and was quietly moaning this morning, but she wasn't in pain they said.

We drove to the hospital so that we could all be with her. Ella came in to see her before she passed and then again after. We stayed with her and petted and loved her for hours telling her how beautiful she was, how wonderful she was, how much we loved her and how grateful we were to have her in our lives. We told her she was good, and precious, and adored, and loved over and over. We told her how much joy she had brought to our lives, and how she will always live in our hearts. She was used to hearing these words of love as we had said them to her each and every day of her life with us.

She passed quietly in her soft car bed (she loved riding in the car with a passion) that she loved so very much with Dan and me petting her, kissing her and telling her how much we loved her.

My first words to Amelia when she arrived on the transport a mere 2 months, 1 week and 3 days ago were "Amelia, I'm your mama." As I held her sweet, precious little face in my hands for the very last time today I told her "Amelia, I'm your mama."

Our hearts are broken. 2 months, 1 week and 3 days was NOT enough.

I didn't think I would be able to write these words to you earlier today, but once home I realized that I had to, I needed to. You were all so dear and sweet and welcoming upon her arrival and I wanted.... needed, you to know.

sweet Amelia would always sit on the sofa with her paws crossed; such a kind and gentle soul

so many people who met them thought Amelia & Ella were from the same liter

Prior to late yesterday morning Amelia had been perfect- a perfect six year old girl in perfect health. She was the best girl and so wanted to please and learn, and she was learning. She came to us not knowing her name, how to walk up stairs, how to play with toys, chew a bone, go for a walk, the joy of going for a car ride. She had learned how to do all of the above and even to walk off the leash running through in the woods. Always a good girl, and coming back when called. She ran like the wind and I can not put into words the joy on her face as she ran in our meadows and through the forest. And then there was the overwhelming joy that the sight brought to both Dan and me. It made us so happy that she was getting to live this amazing, wonderful dog life. We are so sad for her, and us, that it was cut so short. What a gift her short time with us was. What will get us through is knowing that she couldn't have had a better last 2 months, 1 week, and 3 days of her sweet.sweet life. And in the end, even though our hearts are broken, and even if we could have known, we would have still adopted her and loved her with all our hearts for 2 months, l week and 3 days all over again. I would always tell Amelia and Ella that they belong to us and we belong to them!

We are so very grateful to have belonged to her,

It brings more tears to look out and see her sweet footprints in the snow. While they will melt and fade away her footprints will forever remain on our hearts.

We are all so sad.

It would mean so much to us if you would say a prayer for our sweet Amelia. She was, and is, a puppy-angel.

Thank you for understanding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
post script

Dan and I are absolutely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support and prayers you have given to us and to Ella. We have read each comment on the blog, each email, and each comment on Instagram aloud to one another and we have cried and sobbed. We have felt so loved and held in this time of shock and grief over losing sweet Amelia so suddenly and too soon. Your words have soothed our broken hearts, your tears have made us feel understood in our grief, and we have felt the love of your comforting hugs.

Knowing that so many of you are saying a prayer for Amelia has brought us the most special gift. It is as if all your many prayers are carrying her on wings of love and she is being ushered into heaven by you. I can never thank you enough for making us feel this and making Amelia so loved in this moment. She was our gift, and you are our gift also. I cherish each and every one of you. While we might not know each other personally I feel we know one another's soul- the soul that loves house and home and dogs (pets.)

To all of you who have mentioned your lost beloved pets- our sympathies to you. We are so grateful that you told us about your loves.

Tonight when I light our candles we will do it as a family and say "Thank you" for each and every one of you- you have given us the gift of love and prayer and understanding and we are so very, very grateful.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

I want to say "thank you" for all of your wonderful calling cards that you left for us over the holidays! Dan and I read every one (including all the emails) and were so greatly touched. We loved reading about you, where you live and the tidbits about yourself. It truly makes writing the blog feel so much more personal. I appreciate your kind compliments and words beyond measure. To have some of you tell me that I am an inspiration to you only fills me with inspiration, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

When I first heard the above quote many years ago it became my mantra. I firmly believe that being grateful for (even and especially) the smallest of everyday things can change you and your life. To express my feelings of gratitude I say "thank you" to the universe many times over the course of every day.
Being grateful allows me to be focused on what I have as opposed to what I don't, or what I "think" I need or want. I believe that whatever in life you chose to focus on you give power to, so if you focus on lack and not having enough you will get lack back, but if you focus on the smallest little moments and wonders in a regular day and are grateful for them you will get more of that simple abundance and as such a simply abundant life!

Whether I am home alone, it's me and Dan, or we're having friends over I light candles around the house almost every night- always on the kitchen island and the barn room, and other rooms/places on occasion. On dark days I light candles during the day sometimes too. It is a daily ritual that makes the rooms of the house sparkle and come to life with the flicker of magic that is unique only to real candlelight.
When lighting the candles I always pause and try to be very present in that one moment as the wick catches the flame and I say "thank you," either silently or out-loud.
It is my prayer of thanks for all that I am grateful for.

\

I have so very much to be thankful for and that includes you for being here and being interested in all that I write about for the love of our house.Thank you so much.
xxojoan

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"when every corner speaks of possibility I know that I am home." -unknown-

Ten years ago I could not have even pointed out New Hampshire on a map, but here we are. Six years ago, after living for 15 years in the beehive that is Dallas, Dan and I finally escaped and landed in a very small town in New Hampshire that doesn't even have a traffic light. Perfection! Our move was a huge risk, but it has paid off with dividends and we absolutely love it here. I think we are really Yankees at heart. If you've never been to New England I cannot describe it with adequate words, you really just have to experience it. It is like no other part of the country. Its beauty matches our beloved Colorado, Oregon, and Washington and its spirit (Live Free or Die) is reminiscent of Texas, and the people... well, we have found them to be most genuine. In essence... we feel as if we have arrived home!

joan

ella...

photo by David McCaughan

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Follow "fortheloveofahouse" on Instagram where I share random snapshots of our life

the entry

the living room

the kitchen

the dining room

the reading room

the master bedroom

the master bath

the North guest room

the South guest room

the guest bath

the barn room

the barn half bath

the barn mud room

With the eyes to see it and the hands to create it, we can recover the home that the soul desires.
-A. Lawlor-

to send a note, mail to...

fortheloveofahouse@comcast.net

my lunch with the fabulous Bunny Williams...

my paint and stain colors:

It's a house with rooms that reflect a place, a feeling, a memory of the past.-unknown-

Simplicity-Making your life a creative work of art. A great piece of art is composed not just of what is in the final piece, but equally important, what is not. It is the discipline to discard what does not fit- to cut out what might have already cost days or even years of effort.