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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A What Sucks Investigative Report…What Is The Coolest, Racist Thing? Today’s Feature: The General Lee

Hey, everybody knows racism just isn’t cool. That’s a no brainer, but what’s also a no brainer is that racism exists. So I pose the question- what’s the coolest, racist thing? When you think about it, I think you can make a case for the General Lee.

The General Lee, the car used by the Duke boys on the Dukes of Hazzard, may very well be, the coolest, racist thing. The supped up Dodge Charger that flew through the air at least once or twice an episode- that had it’s doors welded shut so that you had to go in through the window and that was fast enough to outrun any police car in Georgia, was pretty damn sweet. You could slide across its hood or dive across the roof- and it never failed to deliver a little extra pop when Roscoe or Cletus was in pursuit.

So what if the car was a racist and was named after the general for the south in the Civil War? So what if it had a confederate flag painted on its roof and when you hit the horn it played the confederate national anthem, “Dixie”? So what if it extolled many of the rallying cries held by men who fought and died for an America where Freedom was only for a few? It wasn’t like the General Lee ever parked itself outside a voting registration drive revved its engine every time someone new came by. Right?

Yes it had its bad traits, sure- its implicit call for a segregated state, for one- the time it “escorted” an El Dorado that was playing loud music out of Hazzard County (on a 4th season DVD extra) for another- the fact that it had to get pretty lousy gas mileage, for a third- but if you wanted politically correct values, you always had NBC’s answer to the General Lee- KITT, an effete Pontiac Sunbird.

So yeah, the General Lee wasn’t perfect, especially is you consider an element of “perfection” to be "not racist", but among all racist things, it was pretty damn cool.

2 comments:

you know what sucks? im not gonna say anything about your topic but it sucks that Dave Chappelle went to Africa thats not cool hes like the funniest dude on earth and we should deport him over here and get a court order to continue Chappelles show

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Suckiness surrounds us all, gripping us in a vice-like hold, with the ferocity of a bear trap made of shit. My mission? To offer insight and shed understanding on the vast, seemingly endless, black hole of crap each one of us has to face on a daily basis. And while that torrent of bullshit is both mammoth in scope and unyielding in its advance, at least here it can be called it out for what it is- a lot of shit that really sucks.

So join me- everyday I’ll shine the spotlight on something that sucks. And your comments, until you weird me out, are always welcome. That being said, thanks for stopping by and sorry everything sucks so bad.

About Me

Chris DeLuca is a writer/ producer/ comic currently living in Hoboken, the Prague of New Jersey. He's written for a bunch of TV shows you probably have not watched or heard of (United States of Hip Hop, Nikki & Sara Live, Mob Wives Reunion, BET's Don't Sleep, and Fuse News- see?) as well as Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn, Best Week Ever, Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson and the 12/12/12 Concert For Sandy Relief. He was also the "World's Oldest Intern" on VH1's Big Morning Buzz. In 2009 he created, wrote and starred in the hilarious, and subversive “Mocap, LLC" on Spike. Sadly, he thinks he caused his parent's divorce.