F-ed Up

I screwed up. I fucked up royally. Through careless bookkeeping, and my love for foods that are really not in our budget, I blew $3000 over the past 3 months.

My husband hates me. He'll stay with me, but he's feeling trapped and doesn't trust me anymore. Our interactions are a series of commentaries on how worthless I am. I'm not an equal and don't deserve to be.

I hate who I am. I hate how irresponsible and careless I am.

My only concern is my daughter. We've connected more lately, and are spending more time together (she is 6 years old, in kindergarten, and has autism). My parents are moving down here, into our apt complex actually, the week of Thanksgiving. They will take care of her. But they are more permissive, and give her foods that upset her stomach (she also has GERD and is on a low glycemic diet). But would it be worth it, [mod edit - removed threat], to have me out of my husband's life? I think so, but I look at her and don't know.

I think it would be beneficial to both you and your husband if you went into marriage counseling either together or separately so you can work at salvaging your marriage not only for your child but for all involved

People screw up. I have done things I should not have done since being married and so has wife when it comes to the budget and spending without conferring. While a immediate angry outburst is not really out of line, I am sure being called worthless or treated as not an equal is not right.
While money issues are incredibly common source of fights and bad feelings in a marriage, they also are among the easiest to find a way to resolve (with the exception of the all to common simply "no money"). Separate accounts takes care of the "trust" issue plus makes bookkeeping much easier with only one check book and debit card being used - just an idea to consider. If you find a way to workout this one big issue so it is not a regular discussion perhaps other things might not be such big issues.

No, it is not worth hurting yourself. Aside from what it would do long term to your daughter, you are depriving yourself of the joy raising your daughter can be and and everything else you enjoy now or ever will enjoy. Basing that on a rocky place in a marriage and a mistake is not worth it in any way.