Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Friends

Just thinking out loud, I think I'm finding a new rhythm to this thing again. You see two days ago, I was in a posting mood, so that's what I did. And yesterday, I was more in a comment mood, so I did some blog hopping and posted comments. Maybe I'm on to something here. But, as everyone has told me, there are no rules -- just do what you want.

Anyway... Focusing.... As you know, I've been in this kind of reflective mood recently. During this time, I've heard from a bunch of my new blog friends -- which I really appreciate and I am humbled by. However, I haven't really heard from my "in person" friends, who I will call my non-blog friends.

That really made me think. Hmmmm... In this day and age where electronic communication is more common and more convenient than in-person communication, do I have communication more with my blog friends or my non-blog friends? Now, the people at work don't count, at least for me, because all of you know how much I work (too much).

Anyway... Focusing again... This entertains an interesting question: When it comes to citizens of the blogosphere, do people have more blog friends or non-blog friends? For me, I've come to find out that it's the former -- not that it's a bad thing, but an interesting realization.

How about you? Do you have more blog friends or non-blog friends? Do you care? Does it bother you one way or another? I'm Dr. A, and I'm a re-discovered blogaholic...

BTW, I haven't plugged my map lately. If you haven't placed yourself on my map, what are you waiting for? Click here and join the 29 others who have already done it!

58 comments:

It has been a little while since I have visited your site, but when I do I certainly enjoy your posts. By the way, thank you for your kind words on my post. A few times yesterday I just sat and thought about the loss of my colleague and the impact it had on me and his poor family.

Now with regards to having more friends in the blogosphere or in real life....hmmm good question. Well I think my situation might be a little different than some.I have only lived where I am for 18 months. I have only made a couple of friends/aquintances in my area. The folks I work with live about 60 km away so I don't tend to have much contact with them outside of work. My friends on the mainland I tend to communicate via email and IM. So most of my communication is done via the internet. I have never been one to have a large number of close friends but I have lots of aquintances people I would socialize with on a semi-regular basis. I come from a large family and found that a lot of my social interaction was family based. Then came the blog. It was my family that got me blogging and now I am pretty much the only one who blogs on a regular basis. I have met some wonderful people via the blogosphere and I hope I will continue to connect with them in the future. So I guess I would have to say that about 75% of my friends and contacts are internet based.

Dr. Anon, I have quite a few non-blog friends, however I'm not in touch with them in the way I am my blog friends. I'm always getting in trouble for "not staying in touch" with my non-blog friends.

I find the written media far easier to communicate in, and this is just so much more comfortable for me.

Along the same lines, I've noticed that I get a lot more said on the blogs, and with blog friends, than I do otherwise ... where my blog friends know more about what's going on than my non-bloggers do.

Interesting phenomenon, eh? I'm going to be watching the comment section of this post ... :o)

Hey Doc A, I understand...I have been reconnecting lately with people I've known in my life, and it's been a good thing! For me, it felt a little empty on blogger...but I REALLY enjoy it nonetheless but it doesn't really make up for the lack of companionship like having REAL companions! ha ha.so i am still a blogaholic, but there is also a place for really connecting with real people, and I have to say at this point I like that more, however I will probably soon have a relapse because i sometimes need the anonymouty of blogger to let out some of it...ha ha hope all is well with you!

Well I must say that I keep in contact with my online friends more than I do with my "real" friends. When someone is online and chatting with me I know that they are avalible, I don't feel like I am imposing on them. Plus my internet time is after my kids go to bed, times when most normal people are asleep in bed also. It is hard to find nutty people like me that want to hang out in the middle of the night.

I don't know which one I have more of... but blog friends diffently know me more than non-blogger friends. Though I'm trying to reconnect with a bunch of them... in fact I so just this afternoon!

The blog is easier... because as already said it's easier to write sometimes that talk.

My friend today asked me if I had a myspace or xanga account... no I don't. I debated telling her about my blog... I'm not sure what to do about that, I have no idea how my friends might take it. They and my parents don't know about it. The only people who do are my doctors because it is a way of coping for me.

Off topic... but I'm going out on a wing here and saying Doc A is married :)

Oh Dr. A....This is a topic after my own heart.I have non-blog friends but some of them have moved away so we don't see each other and therefore we don't talk much. A year ago my very best friend passed away.I also have new non-blog friends I have made since moving, but in non-blog life I am much more backwards than on here. I don't make friends easily. But, I cherish my firendships once I do make them. At this stage in my life my blog friends out number my non-blog friends. Most important is a feeling of ease with my blog friends. They are there for us no matter what.

now for profiling of you. I think Dr. Grumet is right on. You are single and young! I would almost bet the farm (that I don't have) on it.

Can someone explain the whole MySpace phenomeon to me? I guess I just don't get it. All I hear is the negative news reports. What's the good side to MySpace? Or, is it just a bunch of predators like that John Mark Karr guy?

ha, ha! i just recently got a "my space" page...and I love it! I've founds some old classmates and love getting back in touch with them I have only had it a very short time, so I don't know if anything bad will happen from it or not, but it does facilitate connecting with long-lost friends, and that's kind of cool. of course...there are drawbacks! any wierd connections, shunned lovers, or back-stabbing ex-best friends can be a scaaary thing for sure!!! ha ha. but overall I'm glad I have it. i know that excitement will wear off eventually...i cannot talk on it like I can on the 'blog'... so there is a place for both of them i s'pose.

I think myspace is a bit of a teen thing. I have an account because I had an online friend that wanted to show me something on her page. Mostly I ignore it because to me blogging is much more fun. I did reconnect with a person from my high school but it ended up being wierd because she is still in the same place she was when she graduated from high school and I am in a completely different place from her.

PS thanks for stopping by my blog and I would love to have you link to me.

I lived in Germany for a while and I really like the distinction they draw between "friends" and "acquaintances". I have a few, really good non-blog friends and that's the way I like it. Time and distance often means we don't catch up as often as we like but because of the quality of the friendship, it works fine.I probably interact with my blog friends more frequently simply because it's more convenient but also because it's great to be able to "meet" and talk with so many interesting people that I'd never otherwise get the chance to get to know (as well as you can in the internet environment).

I tried Myspace briefly. It wasn't for me. With respect to anyone who uses Myspace here, there was a lot of inappropriate content on Myspace or maybe I was just unlucky with the people who made contact with me. What does that say?

It's funny how this thread has twisted into a discussion of your marital status/availability, Dr. A.Maybe we should set you up a fan club? :) Although I'm punting on late 30s, married.

Dr A...just put myself on your map. I have blog friends and non blog friends and try to keep in touch with them both. As for Myspace...got one of those, too, only because a few friends have them but I don't think I've checked in for a month or more.

ha ha this has been funny. beauty of the blog...keeps me bloggin'! I've only received one really "naughty" my space message from someone I didn't know, but apparently men are more targetted and receive more. Ha, so there, men, if you want free porn, check out my space!! too funny.i just forwarded it on to a friend who many appreciate it more...but other than that, I have ONLY received legitimate messages from actual friends/people I knew a long time ago, and that is just great! A great girlfriend of mine is getting married, and now I'm going to her wedding. it's just been so many years since I've seen her, so now I'm going to go watch her ruin her life! I'm just kidding completely, I highly value marriage, really...

Blogging, emailing, and even old-fashioned letterwriting create an aesthetic distance that fosters vulnerability, which nurtures risk, which inculcates intimacy. Or the illusion of it. We think we know who we are in the blogosphere and delight in the deception.Laugh.Or....Else.

this stuff is highly entertaining...yes, laughorist, something about this fosters the vulnerability that one seeks to get to enjoy... of course, nowadays there are so many things to fight, all the wierdos who are there to stalk (YIKES) and such...other than that it is so much fun! I feel like we are all actors in a play together, such fun! ha ha ha.Love it! Everyone, take a bow! (tee hee, giggle...snort-SCUZE me!)

Wow, I've missed out on a lot of interesting conversation today . . . now I'm curious as well. So . . . BS at 22, MD at 26, residency complete by 29, add ten years and you get 39. Oh, subtract the three for residency . . . He's 36. ;o)

Way late & slightly off-topic here. MySpace is how I keep in touch with my siblings and cousins, as well as some people from work. Sure there are negative news reports but thats with anything. There's a positive and negative for any one thing, always.Is that pic really you? No offense...if it is, its rare I see a doctor with a genuine smile. And that's after working in healthcare for 3 years, deathcare for an additional 3 years, and as a patient for well...life. If it is you, and the smile is genuine, kudos.

*Raising my hand jumping up and down* If you aren't married, I'm single, Dr. A *Wink!* And I'm EXTRA single if you happen to look like McDreamy ;o)

I like blog friends because I can just say what I think and be who I am and they don't hold it against me. And in spite of the fact that most of us don't even know each other's first names or what part of our respective countries we live in, everyone is very sweet and tons of fun. And ironically, we all know each other's business (and sometimes air our own dirty laundry) and nobody ever gossips...not one peep!

I love my real life friends, but most of them went to business school and just don't "understand"...

yeah, apparently we are VERY cozy with our blog friends, see Dr. A? We are all on topic, (ha ha) well I am sorry Doc A, you must sort of feel like a piece of meat, a little bit. (JEEZ) what did you expect?Women tend to find other characteristics more attractive, besides looks (we don't know), etc. It is apparently akin to a beautiful woman scantily clad, walking into a bar, and then her guy friends telling her "of COURSE you're going to get hit on...) if you have what most guys there are looking for, and you walk right in...well....that doesn't make it "right" necessarily, thought, and Dr. A, I apologize *wink* I hope you will find someone special you can love, who loves you for you, even though you seem to have a lot of things women look for in a man, apparently....

This is a fascinating post, Dr. A., in that it speaks to the meaning of the term, "friend." I was commenting yesterday to Theory of Thought that Anna Freud used the example of Cyrano de Bergerac as a "pure" example of "altruism." From the shadows, he whispered words to his friend to recite to a mutual love, because he himself could not. He believed his "appearance" was objectionable, yet his words radiated the fullness of his person.

While there is is some kidding about how you might "appear," it seems to me that people return here because they have drawn a conclusion about you by the words you "whisper" in the cover of the blog. No, we're not going out to dinner or a movie; no, we're not grabbing a quick cup of coffee at 8:30; no, you're not not asking for a ride because your car won't start. But in this "created world," all of our Cyrano-like "blemishess" are of no consequence.

yes, you pose a very interesting question here...i think i may have more blog friends than non-blog friends, or perhaps i just have more contact with my blog friends as they are more accessible. Most of my friends live at least an hour's drive away...i used to have a couple in my apartment complex, but since i became quite ill, they have fallen by the way (fair-weather friends? you say ...yes indeed), so for me, except for my daughter, who i see at least twice a week, my non-blog friends i keep in contact via the telephone or e-mail, simply because it is physically less taxing for me.

also, i find that my blogging friends are less demanding...and again, since this "stupid condition" i do not have the patience i had when i was well, so i find myself getting irritated at the most inconsequential things, and i do not want to "put this onto" my friends, whom i love and who have been my friends for over 20 years. They see a side of me know that they do not recognize, and this is hard for them.

i can hide my condition from my Blogging friends, if i choose, and in fact for the past year that is exactly what i did. I started blogging a year ago (approx.) and i have just in the past month or so made any reference to my "condition" here in cyberspace.

i think it is easier in some ways because you can remain intellectual if you like, emotions don't come through easily on the Blogs, and emotions ARE messy (sometimes) are often hard to manage. i need a lot of intellectual stimulation, maybe that is why i enjoy interacting with people on the Blogs so much.

good points dragonflyfilly, makes a lot of sense...it is too bad in real life we are not more companion-able (not sure if that's a word..) but it IS great to be able to more simply eliminate some of the barriers in this context. we are all just, "People...People who need... people..." ha, after all...

it is fun to connect, and some other stuff often gets in the way in "real life" but blogging actually is "real" though, so whatami talkin' about...who knows

blog friends vs. non blog friends...

my final answer is: blog friends, and the BEST of my blog friends are the ones who know me for real

funny, huh?? so does that mean i'm sayin' non blog friends? well, no, because i don't even get to see these friends of mine very often and nowadays i keep up with them online ANYWAY...but I don't like that!

i know...*sigh*...my abby isnt not a nurse anymore...but thats when i fell in love with her, and she was my favourite.

sam is cute. i like her, and if she had a wee bit less drama, i could see her being competition for my abby.

you know...i have a nurse i work with in real life who completely reminds me of Carol Hathaway *swoon* but more gorgeous ;) maybe its cuz she is very affectionate and i always get a shoulder rub when the blood she brings me to spin arent hemolyzed LOL

actually. there are a LOT of cute nurses where i work. the smarter they are, the cuter they are, too LOL god i am pathetic.

i have only virtual friends..itz like compensating for the lack of real friends..not essentially bog friends..most of them are from yahoo or msn..i think lots and lots of loners are seeking asylum in internet.good for us loners for who dont want to break this lonely habit. by the way im a medical student, doing terribly bad in studies..someday hope to get focussed ..i jus hope i get motivated soon..ur blog is easy to read..written in simple and an engaging way.. i wish i could write so easily..good day.

Hey Dr. A.:) Thank you so much for the comment and the compliment and for adding me to your blogroll.

I have no social life, but, being an introvert, I'm fine with that. Well, sometimes it would be nice to go out, but I'd rather be home with my daughter.

I had a social life until I moved. Same city, different neighborhood. I guess we grew apart once we moved apart. But I like the blogosphere because I get to know people from so many different parts of the world and besides, I am more comfortable communicating in writing than speaking.