Smash the Patriarchy II – To my younger self:

There was a post that was shared by several contacts on Facebook about how women should be modest in the way they dress because, and I quote, “Real men love their gift wrapped.” This made me so angry, I’m still seething three days after reading it.

While I do believe in dressing appropriately for certain occasions, — say, formal for a gala show at the theatre, business casual for a job interview, etc. — don’t be afraid to wear what you want. Women have been hyper-sexualised by society and the media while simultaneously being shamed for their sexuality for ages. You’re going to drive yourself crazy trying to please everyone. And on that note…

4. …Don’t be afraid of your sexuality.

We’ve all been kind of brainwashed from childhood that female sexuality in particular is a dirty, dirty thing. It’s not, embrace it. Own it.

Masturbate, have sex, don’t masturbate, don’t have sex. It’s your choice. There’s nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality as long as you’re smart about it. There’s a saying in the BDSM community that applies to any relationship, sexual or otherwise: Safe, sane, consensual. Be safe, use protection. Be sure you’re in the right state of mind and emotionally ready once you do start having sex. And always, always, make sure you and your partner consent.

If you are uncomfortable with anything your partner wants to do with you, please know that you always have the right to say no. Again, the keyword is consent.

6. No to victim/slut-shaming.

If someone is catcalled, harassed, molested, raped, the blame is entirely on the attacker. What a person was were wearing or how drunk they were, does not give anyone else consent to have their way with them.

7. “Real women are…” NO. JUST NO.

If you identify as a woman, you are a woman. Whether you’re cis, trans, demi, genderfluid, etc. Don’t let anyone define what being a “real” woman is for you.

8. Never dumb yourself down.

Or lower your standards for anybody.

9. Feminist is not a dirty word.

In a nutshell, feminism is equal rights regardless particularly of your sex and/or gender. It’s celebrating everything that makes you a woman, it’s getting rid of toxic masculinity, it’s tearing down stereotypical gender roles so you’re free to do pursue whatever you want. Most people confuse misandry with feminism, educate yourself so you can educate others.

Competing with other women specifically, whether it’s in the workplace or within a friend group really needs to stop. We have enough trouble fighting the system, working extra hard to prove ourselves equally if not more competent.