Paris And The Maddens: Dogs Not Babies

While her dog may be dating a Madden, Paris is not having his baby, yet.

Hmm. We're sure that Joel Madden is a fine citizen. The Hiltons seem to like his brother, Benji. Joel turned that Nicole Richie's life around by putting his seed in her belly. And evidently one (or possibly both, like in The Parent Trap) of the Maddens was cool enough for Jimmy Kimmel's 'I'm F*cking Ben Affleck' video. And we've even heard of people who like Good Charlotte. As for Paris Hilton, we recognize that she's a pop culture something or other. But Entertainmentwise is seriously reporting that a Madden dog is dating a Hilton dog. So, it would be fair to say that a Madden is probably nailing that Hilton bitch, doggie style.

Evidently, the Madden-Hilton-Richie camp is closing ranks via their pets. Is this a good idea? What if Paris has one of her trademark changes of heart? Is there something weird about a man letting another man's dog date his girlfriend's dog? This would probably resulted in a stabbing if it was the Gallagher brothers.

The good news is that Benji and Paris 2 ain't having a human baby quite yet. Entertainmentwise says that the Madden-Hilton party express hasn't been derailed, so she couldn't possibly be pregnant. Which is sort of specious logic. Just because someone has a final the next day doesn't mean that they didn't stay up all night kicking mirrors off parked cars high off their ass on cheap biker crank. The real sign that there's no baby on the way is Paris Hilton's word. PH is focused on her career for the '08 with a baby scheduled for the '09. And despite an apparent total lack of birth control in Hollywood, she's got her eyes on the prize, Sonny Jim.