"Generation Me" and its worthless trophies

Tuesday

Once while vacationing in Florida, I went on a golf outing. The problem — I don’t play golf. I’d either miss the ball or scrape up a divot.

But one of the players in our foursome was a bubbling fountain of exaltation.

“Great try!” he’d say or, “Plenty of power in that swing!” as my ball stayed on its tee.

Around the ninth green I began to dislike him. He meant well. But contempt is a natural reaction to undeserved praise. I was lousy and knew it.

Instead of saying “Better keep your day job,” the guy tried making me feel as if I had golf talent, like the others.

It’s a tactic found in the self-esteem movement, and it backfired. I smoked his last cigar and complained that his beer was warm.

This is why I don’t understand adults who pull self-esteem tricks on children, handing out unearned trophies and other awards for participating in sports programs.

Last week I wrote about the phony trophy phenom in kids’ sports. I’ve heard from parents, teachers, athletes and a couple of coaches. They agree it’s wrong and it should stop.

The coaches phoned to say the trophy giveaways are the worst thing to happen to youth sports in the last 25 years.

“Why should a kid who never shows for practice get the same award as the kid who works hard? I take the hard workers aside every year and tell them they were better than the others,” one coach said.

A reader writes: “My husband and I have struggled to understand why the local sports associations have the mindset of ‘it’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun.’ Blech! Sure, fun is involved, but so is skill and hard work. Kids are growing up thinking the world is ‘fair’ and everything will be handed to them. Sorry kids, it doesn’t work that way in the real world.”

A doctor from Montco writes: “To state the obvious, self-esteem should be the result of contributing something of true value. It is the definition of ‘true value’ that’s the debate. Mere physical presence without exceptional effort almost never results in a significant contribution, and does not deserve a reward.”

The self-esteem movement, first inflicted on American children in the 1980s, confuses esteem with confidence. Esteem is based on shallow warm and fuzzy feelings about one’s self. Confidence comes from genuine accomplishment.

In 2007, psychologist Jean Twenge published a book detailing the growth of narcissism among young Americans born from the mid-1970s through the 1990s. It’s called “Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled — and More Miserable Than Ever Before.”

In her book she cites a survey of 16,000 members of the Millennial Generation. The survey asked, among other items, “If I ruled the world, it would be a better place” and other yes/no queries like, “I think I am a special person” and “I can live my life any way I want to.”

Twenge and four other researchers found that two-thirds of U.S. college students scored “above average” in their opinions of themselves, a 30 percent jump from 1982, when the same survey of college students was administered.

The researchers concluded that the self-esteem movement is to blame. It is harmful because it exaggerates a child’s talents. It distorts a kid’s self-importance.

In the report, Twenge cites a “self-esteem” song sung by American school children to the tune of “Frere Jacques:” “I am special, I am special. Look at me! Look at me!” (If Millennials didn’t sing this, they made up for it later by inking themselves with tattoos, another way of saying ,”Look at me! Look at me!”)

These same kids, Dr. Twenge writes, become disillusioned young adults when the real world does not value their “specialness.”

After reading the survey’s results, my sense is that the Occupy movement has become a natural home for many of these disillusioned kids, who are largely middle class, college educated and unemployed (or underemployed.)

All their lives they’ve been slathered with false praise, and told they can do anything they want. Upon completing college they discover it’s untrue. Life is not about pursuing one’s passions. Success is hard work. Reality dawns, misery descends.

They attribute this epic fail to “the system” that cheated them, and it did, beginning with those worthless sports trophies.

Contemptuous of the system, they aim to wreck it.

J.D. Mullane can be reached at 215-949-5745 or at jmullane@phillyburbs.com.

J.D. Mullane can be reached at 215-949-5745 or at jmullane@phillyburbs.com.

Never miss a story

Choose the plan that's right for you.
Digital access or digital and print delivery.

Follow Us

Advertise

Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted.
Burlington County Times ~ 116 Burrs Rd., Suite B, Westampton, NJ 08060 ~ Privacy Policy ~ Terms Of Service