Live from the Ass Embly it's ATI.
Activist Tines, Inverted. Issue 193
(PAWN) DC - Congress passes "patients bill
of rights without rights."
In an unprecedented move in the bowels
of Congress, patients now have the right
to demand healthcare, while at the same
time carriers have the right to deny them.
"Dude," said Albert AMA Azchthole, "How
cool is that???"
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<> ATI. Activist Times, Inc. <>
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<> ever wonder what happened <>
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<> to TAP/YIPL??? <>
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Hello, I'm Prime Anarchist and this is my
rant for a New Moon, October, 1999.
I want a job folding jeans just right so every
crease is perfect and the price tag is sticking
out where you can see it. I'd like rock-star
headphones with a microphone so someone from afar
watching me on video can walk me through it right
down to my posture and presence or perhaps get a
quick price check at the same time. Hmmm. I know.
There's a brand new Old Navy opened up in my town.
Maybe I'll drop off a resume. You think they'll
start me at more than 8/hr?
Do William Rhenquist and Dick Cheney look like
"seperated at birth" or what?
Speaking of which - what middle-aged white male
will YOU vote for NEXT year.
Anyone remember those records "Mr. President?"
45's they were...about the end of the Nixon admin.
Ford and Carter too I think. You know, a question
asked by a voiceover guy, and each reply is a pop
song that just seemed to fit well, or at least it
was funny and/or entertaining.
Well, here's a short spinoff.
Call it "Mr. Bill and His Police Bills."
"Mr. President, how will you respond to Columbine?"
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
"Mr. President, how will you respond to the Texas
massacre?"
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
"...how would you respond to the recent shootings
in Georgia?"
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
We bring you now to Clinton's first inaugauration.
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
And now a word from his second inaug...
"Well, I signed some legislation just this week
what adds 180,000 more patrolmen to our cities."
"Good morning Mr. Clinton. How do you feel today?
Going to go for a jog?"
"Well, I signed some legislation just..."
-)(-
Did you see the Gibson SG bathroom tile one of the
Columbine high school students painted?
I was watching Unavision's DESPIERTA AMERICA,
and they were showing the tiles. Basically they're
letting each kid express... you know, for self esteem,
spirit rebuilding, catharsis and reprogramming.
You want my take? Anything to keep from losing one
more student to parents' district-hopping. You think
the administration gives a flying fruit-fly about
self esteem? Spirit?
Bah, can you say state-money-per-student? A large
chunk of change, peeps. Addicts, all of them. Addicted
to 32 students per classroom. If admin thought teachers
(pronounced slave units) would tolerate 33, 34, or 45
students per class, dontcha think, you betcha! they'd
sign off on cloning 10 year olds right now.
Paula Jones has the stupidest looking nose I've
ever seen situated on a face. Do you think the MD,
(pronounced artist) is incompetent, or just a
no-talent bum?
DO SOMETHING
I'm shooting myself in the foot a bit here, because
I'll be there in nine or 10 years too, right?
But list your 10 favorite columnists out there.
Be honest now. Go with your first 10 thoughts.
Now, how many are white, middle-aged males?
Half? More than half? Almost all?
I've got to thank Dick Bennett for that one.
Your NY Post article this morning. It (you) helped
me notice something.
& SPEAKING OF WHICH
You may wonder why my weakly columns seldom ever
resemble... \seldom : resemble\ \posthaste : toothpaste\
\never mind\ \go back to your normal programming\
...the traditional United Statesian newspaper column.
Well, I'll tell you.
I don't WANT to fit reprintable in any paper. I don't
want to have a portfolio full of perfectly prepared pieces,
any of which could be interchanged in any paper in any
province. If structure is everything, then I guess I'm
nothing aren't I, because structure means little or
nothing to me.
I'm a columnist sure, I'm a publisher and an editor,
but I'm like hardly any you've seen before.
AND WHY IS THAT?
I'm nobody's slave. Structure this!
If you're planning to reprint things I've written out
there in other places, and I'm aware that many of you do,
I don't want it to be because it fits -- or I fit -- or
you fit into prior expectations of any kind.
I want you to reprint me because you hear my voice
and can relate and/or respond. Or perhaps you can't relate
and want to hear more before you retort or reply.
THAT'S FINE TOO. I don't want to be liked, I want to
be heard, and you'll notice - that hasn't changed
"a lick" in 12 years.
PRIME
ANARCHIST'S
WEAKLY
COLUMN
IT'S NON-
RELIABILITY CAN BE
COUNTED
ON...
I end this rant with a couple quotes, because academics
love quotes. And of course the rest of us have come to
adore them as well.
"The purpose of a musician is to compliment the
music -- not to compete."
-Carlos Santana
"The tax code is over 40,000 pages long now."
-John McCain
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
23 23 69696969
Prime Anarchist Productions Presents the ATI #'s run.
23 23 69696969
http://www.cco.org
http://www.JimLord.to
http://www.google.com
http://www.treatyland.com
http://come.to/commonsense
http://www.byblos-arte.net
http://www.essentialmedia.com
http://www.bluewormrecords.com
http://morehouse.org/hin/new.htm
http://www.theslot.com/contents.html
http://www.home.aone.net.au/firebrace
http://www.gmpublishing.com/links.html
http://www.venkiller.org/brainx/files.htm
http://www.vanhackez.com/h/guirizines.html
http://www.locus.cz/hacker-crackdown/2.html
http://cust2.iamerica.net/blanc1/new/hack.htm
http://www.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~madman/newhack.htm
http://www.users.uswest.net/~jbauer/internet.html
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/7996/links2.html
http://www.ati.es/novatica/glosario/glosario_internet.txt
http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/seeker1/scholarly/cudisc.html
http://www.go2net.com/internet/useless/useless/auto-refresh.html
http://www.laluzdejesus.com/graphics/norbert_cox-apocalyptic_visual_parables
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
...& U know we get letters...
So how do you deal with violence? Run from it?
Ignore it?
Enlighten me on how to remove corrupt
officials from office without violence.
One of the key points of the Manifesto
is that refusing to accept violence as a
legitimate option ignores the example of
our founding fathers. Corrupt officials
do not die and go away.
They breed and contaminate.
DrugWar
-=()=-
to ati@etext.org
Hello there!
I was reading the comments concerning THE CELESTINE PROPHECY on
Amazon.com. Everybody seems to have a different take on that book. I
saw, however, that you appear to have an appreciation for psychological
stories, so I thought I would write to you for help. My name is Robert
Clark Young and I am a first-time novelist. My novel, ONE OF THE GUYS,
is a satire taking place on a US Navy ship under way to Southeast Asia.
While it is difficult to get attention for a literary novel these days,
I know there is an audience out there for ONE OF THE GUYS--people with
a sensibility such as yours, perhaps, who might get a lot out of it.
So if you have a chance, I'd be very grateful if you gave ONE OF THE
GUYS a try...
I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time. And if there are
any contemporary literary novels you'd like to recommend to me,
please do so!
My very best to you,
Robert Clark Young
P.S. Should you know of someone who might enjoy
ONE OF THE GUYS, could you please pass this message
on to him or her? Thanks!
-=()=-
LOL!!! Isn't that the truth!!!
anon.
-=()=-
> sorry for the complete newbie question,
> but I have to ask...
> what is fn0rd?
I'm not fnord sure. Or maybe I'm just not allowed to tell you.
Maybe it's a secret action word that, when read by a post-bot,
initiates a scan-and-deploy sequence. Maybe it's a government
agent code word that identifies me to fellow agents. Maybe
it's a conspiracy by the Illuminati and the Grays to overthrow
the government and replace our SENATORS with CHEESEBURGERS!
Hold the MIND-CONTROL SAUCE!@
(It's less fun if everyone knows what
it means... but I hope you can deduce
from context by now...)
ajax
-=()=-
Dearest Marco,
A gift from me. Copy and paste this
text into a file and make it your
email signature!
Best,
A.
*****WHY ARE YOU BUYING YOUR FOOD FROM A TOBACCO COMPANY?*********
***Kraft cheese and food products, Sanka, Post cereals, Minute****
*Rice Shake n'Bake, Miller Beer and Cool Whip are all made by*****
*****Philip Morris - a name synonymous with Marlboro cigarettes -*
***by buying these products, your grocery dollars are supporting**
****a company that kills. Get informed. Take back your culture!***
*****http://www.adbusters.org*************************************
-=()=-
to ati@etext.org
Now you can have a delicious falafel meal
delivered right to your door. Our complete
falafel package is great for your family
and friends.
Call 1888921PITA or hit our site at:
http://www.pitacuisine.com
-=()=-
to ati@etext.org
SORRY IF THIS AD HAS OFFENDED YOU IN ANYWAY.
IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE AD PLEASE NO FLAMES,
JUST DELETE, YOU TAKE MORE TIME TO COMPLAIN
THEN TO JUST DELETE.
Now to explain how the whole process works.
First of all, you tell us how many e-mail
addresses you would like us to send your
advertisement to--you may either e-mail,
fax, or snail-mail a hard copy of your
ad to us.
We will then place your ad in our database
so it will be ready to be sent out anytime
thereafter. Say for instance you wanted
1-million e-mails sent--once we receive
your payment it will take about 3-4 days
to be completed, unless you desire a more
lengthy time frame, or need it done faster.
Right about now you might be wondering
why you should choose us above the...
-=()=-
Hello Marco,
Nice to hear from you. All is well.
Enjoyed your music this morning with my
coffee. Looks like you're having fun.
As James Taylor said "The secret of
life is to enjoy the passage of time."
Isn't that what it's all about?
Larry
-=()=-
hi marco
how the heck are you.. sorry take so long
to write. am backlogged like crazy..
when u visiting l.a.?
ml,
larry
-=()=-
to ati@etext.org
I applaud you. My company doesn't but
I do. I wanted you to know this.
zd@zd.net
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
CONSPICIONIST THEORY OF THE WEAK
Here in the US we get two stories a day.
No more, no less. London trains collide,
South Korea drops a little heavy water
around, poisoning 12, then 22 then 30
people.
Couple days ago it was Mexico's southern
neighbor Oaxaxa has a gigantic earthquake
and Japan almost has a meltdown or chain
reaction.
Are we going to get one story from
each hemisphere - and almost 180 degrees
apart for the rest of our milleniums?
& SPEAKING OF CONSPICIONISMS
D'ya think John John's plain going down
could have been a HAARP campaign gone
awry?
Ooh, aw, wry, very wry...
Tipper Gore: the final frontier
by Adam Reinardy Prime Anarchist World News Correspondent
(D.C.) Tipper Gore's Super Secret Censorship Taskforce (SSCT)
[say THAT five times fast] has advanced its campaign into nonsecular
territory. While shopping in a Christian music store Mrs. Gore heard a
disturbing noise:
"My God's da bomb!
Your God smells
You mess with my God
You gonna end up in HELL!
Sucka!"
Questions raced through her head: "Am I still in a Christian store?",
"Haven't I already censored everything?", and
"What exactly is Christian gansta rap?"
The answers she came up with were: yes, apparently not, and
God knows. Although the third question would have bothered this
reporter the most, we all know Tipper is no ordinary human.
She immediately went to work on question two, whipping out
her cellphone and calling the members of SSCT.
Within minutes, all of comtemporary Christian music was
under Tipper's thumb and the worlds minors were once again
safe from naughy words like "hell."
ANARCHIST INVENTS FIRST SPEECH SYNTHESIZED BARFING NOISE
(PAWN) Humana, Wisc. - The team of Anarchist, Broadcaster
and Associates discovered something completely vulgar
yesterday.
"In plain english, what we did," Said Prime Anarchist,
"was to make two wav files. One was of DO YOU FEEL YOU
LIKE WE DO by Peter "Cool Hair" Crampton, and we layered
it on top of Cheer's brand new DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE
AFTER DRUGS. We lined up the two most high tech parts
of each song and spliced them together for analog
mixdown using a cracked demo copy of CoolEdit, and we
listened with a used computer that had a winamp loaded
in and voila!" said Anarchist. "A perfect puking noise."
Anarchist went on to say the only way he could describe
the sound in words was to bring up the image of a chicken
with a string full of meat on it down his throat when you
push and pull on the cord ever so slightly each time to
get a "gahwhk" sound out of the bird. That gagging noise
is the sound of Cheer and Peter Crampton paying for perms
and peroxide at the Hair Palace, according to Anarchist.
Anarchist asked us to end this article with the phollowing
rhetorical:
Do you be li~ee~ee~~ee~ve in technology like I do?
%$#%IS#%IT$#%#$SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO REVIEW A NEWSPAPER
AS IF IT WERE A RECORD ALBUM? %#$#$#%#$#$ OK, I'LL DO IT
ANYHOW. %#$#by%#$#%Happy Harry Hackon#%$%%$%$##%#$#%#$#%
I bought a NYTimes sunday morning. My first time in
17 weeks. Ran me $4.
What I got of value were two things. L0pht article in
the magazine, and a piece by David Byrne about world music
in the A&E section.
Everything else, if I can write most candidly, I can get
for free all over the internet, on the side of the road, in
my television, in the backs of year-old magazines in lobbies
while awaiting appointments.
You know the things.
18 and 19 year old women gussied up to look like they might
be, I don't know, 14 or 15? Lies about products disguised as
entertaining footage, sex and violence, sex and violence,
violence and sex, and sex and violence. Oh, and some sex and
a little bit of violence now and then.
Thank you New York Times. You gave me my $3 worth. Only
problem is you charged me four bucks for it.
(A)(C)(T)(I)(V)(I)(S)(T) (T)(I)(M)(E)(S)
We end with a short non-poem written by
Marco Capelli on the spot. You know Marco,
he's like Mac Davis without the curls.
This week,
You get -
Little or no poems;
So shut up and go home.
Well, that's about it for ATI issue one-eighty-thirteen.
Send all the money to
ati@etext.org
The Zine's semi-official website is at:
http://www.thepentagon.com/primeanarchist
http://marco.franklins.net
for all things reconsidered.
Oh, and if you've got sense, you'll dial
1-860-887-2600
ext. 5293