Summary: In which Harry is somewhat indiscriminately randy, Snape struggles manfully to be completely oblivious, Hermione is a connoisseur of printed-out Internet porn, and Draco exits the closet dramatically and demands Resolution of Sexual Tension. This is your TPP chat room on crack—fic.

Summary: Hermione wakes up in a cell, held captive by none other than her former professor, Severus Snape. She’s scared, alone, and confused about her feelings for her unwilling captor. How can she know what is real and what isn’t when he won’t tell her anything?

Summary: In post-war England, the Ministry of Magic is closing Azkaban Prison, and prisoners are being released to family members. What will happen to Severus Snape, who has no family? Hermione Granger has a notion of what can be done.

Summary: Do you mean to say that there might be issues with sex at a coeducational boarding school? (Gasp!) And someone might, just might, be upset enough to demand that the school start teaching where little wizards and witches come from? In response to the Sex Ed Challenge at Potter Place, the wildest parody I can devise that does not involve a Jarvey. AU--oh, so goofily AU!

Summary:Winner in Round Six of the Multifaceted Awards in the category Aphrodisia. It begins the summer after Seventh Year, when the war is raging on, with an unexpected moment of tenderness. What is this inexplicable feeling Hermione experiences? And how can she get Snape to discuss it with her, when all he wants to do is avoid her? Rating is for final chapter.