(show music plays)
Zach Galifianakis: Hello, welcome to another episode of
Between Two Ferns.
Zach Galifianakis: I'm your host, Zach Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis: And my guest today is Charlize Theron (mispronounced).
Charlize Theron: Charlize Theron. It's ok, everybody does that.
Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron.
Charlize Theron: Theron, like heron, Theron.
Zach Galifianakis: Like heroin.
Charlize Theron: Yeah, no, just Theron. Just, start away.
Zach Galifianakis: So you were in Monsters, Inc.?
Charlize Theron: (laughs) No. That's humorous.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh, you were in the movie, Monster.
Charlize Theron: Monster. Yeah, just Monster.
Zach Galifianakis: Did you win an Oscar for that?
Charlize Theron: I did.
Zach Galifianakis: Where's your Oscar statue?
Charlize Theron: It's in my house.
Zach Galifianakis: It'd be cool if you hung from the rear view mirror
in your car, with a high school tassel.
Charlize Theron: (giggles) Where did that come from?
Charlize Theron: That stuff just hangs out in your head.
Charlize Theron: That's funny. Did you write it down?
Charlize Theron: You're really funny. Just remember it.
Zach Galifianakis: So it says here, you're a dog lover.
Charlize Theron: Yeah, very much.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you have a dog?
Charlize Theron: I have a few, yeah.
Charlize Theron: I adopt them and I actually just
recently adopted one from the pound.
Charlize Theron: He actually has this really horrible
disease called leishmaniasis and it's
like a cancer.
Charlize Theron: He's on medication right now, and
we hope he pulls through.
Charlize Theron: It's a pretty bad disease.
Charlize Theron: They don't know that much about
it here in America.
Zach Galifianakis: We have a new sponsor--
Zach Galifianakis: Is this camera?
Zach Galifianakis: Sorry about this. We have a new sponsor
of the show: Need for Speed Shift.
Zach Galifianakis: Which camera? This one?
Zach Galifianakis: Video game.
Zach Galifianakis: What's his name?
Charlize Theron: Oh boy.
Zach Galifianakis: Oh boy. Like, oh boy I wish my dog wasn't sick.
(she uncomfortably giggles)
Zach Galifianakis: You ok? Cause of the dog?
Charlize Theron: Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.
You're sweet for asking though.
Zach Galifianakis: What was your--
Zach Galifianakis: How often to do you go back
to South Africa?
Charlize Theron: I go quite a bit you know. Have you been?
Zach Galifianakis: Yes.
Charlize Theron: Did you go alone or did you go with a girlfriend,
Charlize Theron: or alone?
Zach Galifianakis: I have a girlfriend.
Charlize Theron: That's great.
Zach Galifianakis: She looks a little bit like you.
Charlize Theron: Really? Oh wow. That's such a nice
compliment. Thank you.
Zach Galifianakis: And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Charlize Theron: (laughing) That's funny.
Charlize Theron: You must
make her laugh all the time.
Zach Galifianakis: It's warm in here.
Charlize Theron: Don't put this on camera.
Charlize Theron: (whispers) My thighs are so sweaty right now.
Charlize Theron: It's like dripping all the way to the back of my knees.
Charlize Theron: Look at this. See, I think the only thing that
Charlize Theron: could cool me off right now is if
Charlize Theron: I jump naked into a pool.
It's so fucking hot.
Zach Galifianakis: Are you asking me to go with you?
Charlize Theron: To where?
Zach Galifianakis: To the naked pool.
Charlize Theron: (laughing hysterically)
Charlize Theron: Oh my god, you
are hilarious.
Zach Galifianakis: I wasn't joking.
Charlize Theron: You know how you made it really funny,
is becuase the image of
Charlize Theron: me and you, like me naked in a pool with like a fat, garden gnome, like...
(she laughs more)
Charlize Theron: That's like really good.
Charlize Theron: You are really good.
You are really good.
Zach Galifianakis: I hope your dog dies.
Charlize Theron: (laughs) I just pissed myself.
(show music plays)