I’ve never aspired to be a millionaire. Even if that somehow were to happen, I’d give a lot of the money away. I mean how much money does one person need?

Basically, I don’t want to die a poor old woman and I don’t want you to either.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because I spent a long time today talking to two different women who were on the teleseminar with Alex Mandossian and me earlier in December. They had never met and yet they were having a lot of difficulty with the idea of marketing and making money.

In case you missed it, Alex is the guy who, over a period of three or four years, turned his annual income into a monthly income. The class was about how to use teleseminars to introduce yourself to your audience, educate them about your area of expertise… and yes, hope they see the value in what you have to offer so they will eventually hire you or purchase what you have to offer.

(If you were one of the 637 people who registered for the class but weren’t able to make it or had to hang up early, Alex will be sending the link to the recording later today. If you were not registered for the class but are curious what all the fuss is about go to http://www.ChangingCourseTeleseminar.com.)

Okay So Back To Women And Money And Marketing…

The women I talked to were crystal clear that they want to take control over their lives and either start or grow their small businesses. But they HATE the idea of selling or otherwise promoting themselves to anyone. In fact, the whole topic of making money is a complete turn off.

I get it. I was invited to speak at an alumni meeting last week and when we got to the end I was totally uncomfortable talking about the order form in the back of their handouts. Resistance is a powerful thing and I think we need to pay attention and honor it and understand it.

One of the things you’ll see at http://www.ChangingCourseTeleseminar.com is something Alex put together called, “8 Common Reasons Why You May Resist the World’s Best Teleseminar Marketing Training.” Resistance Reason #7 is: “I don’t think it’s possible (or it’s too pushy) to sell from my seat as a teleseminar marketer…”

Frankly I think Alex could have said a lot more about this whole issue of not wanting to sound pushy. Bu then I just don’t think he (or most men) realize what a huge barrier this is to women becoming entrepreneurs. But I do.

So For Now All I Want To Say About Pushy Women Is…

I could (and I definitely will) write a whole article on women and our love-hate relationship with making money and with marketing. But for now I just want to say that it’s okay to not want to be a shady huckster or to feel like you’re being too pushy.

Whether you call it “integrity marketing” as I do or “finding your natural monopoly” as Barbara Winter does, there really are ways to be authentic AND ethical AND help your audience AND make sure you don’t die a poor old woman all at the same time.

I have seen first hand what a powerful tool teleseminars can be to inform people and also to sell without the discomfort of selling. The way I see it, everyone – me included – has their own unique teaching style. This is something that can’t be taught. Alex’s strength is that he is an absolute expert at THE hardest part of doing teleseminars – namely growing a list from scratch, getting people to sign up for your teleclass, and turning your classes into profitable information products. How you run your class is up to you. Saturday is the final deadline to get into the Teleseminar Secrets program. It’s a lot of money and you should definitely not do it if it’s going to drain you financially or just doesn’t feel like it’s “you.”

FYI, if you are collaborating or otherwise partnering with someone else on your business, then you are allowed to bring in one associate and therefore you can split the cost with him or her. Just something to think about.

Like I said, I definitely plan to write an article on this topic but if you have some thoughts on women and money and marketing that you’d like to share, I’d love to hear them. Send them to [email protected].

To your dreams,
Valerie Young
Dreamer in Residence
ChangingCourse.com

P.S. If you struggle with the idea of marketing yourself consider this advice I gave to one of the callers today. Imagine your headstone reading, “Joan wrote a book that could have helped so many. Unfortunately, no one read it because she didn’t want to seem too pushy.”

I can’t remember where I read this, but it was advice given from one wise woman to another when the latter balked at marketing herself:

“Somewhere out there, there is someone who needs what you have to offer. Make it possible for them to find you.”

Thanks for your emails and newsletters!

Wendy

December 24, 2007 at 3:15 pm

I was on the call, also, and my reluctance is more about whether I would use the information. I don’t really see myself as a strong ‘teacher’ – nor do I feel I have enough experience to ‘teach’ people on a teleseminar. Then again – maybe it’s one of those ‘women’ things about not seeing enough value in my experience?

My biggest issue in a lot of these things comes down to the ‘mechanics’ of it all, though – the ‘how to’ part of getting there and making it all happen. I’m an advocate for helping people hit the ground running … and I know there are a lot of people/companies out there that don’t care enough to take it that far.

Peggy

December 24, 2007 at 3:16 pm

Hi, I was overwhelmed by all the information and tactics until I reminded myself that I did not have to implement all of the ideas at once. Nor did some of the ideas only apply to telelseminars. His idea of doing 12 columns and working to make at least one month equal a yearly salary appealed to me as something to put next to my vision quest collage. That income could come from multiple sources. I look forward to your article.

Ana

December 24, 2007 at 3:17 pm

I feel there’s something about the issue of women and making money that’s not being mentioned here: The women — and men — I know who hate marketing and selling have no problem with making money. They just hate selling. I know; so do I.

And yet I as a woman have NO problem with making money, no problem marketing in writing, no issue about getting rich: I fully intend to. I just hate selling face-to-face.

And that’s what I think it is. Going into the “issue” of woman and making money is too much psychologizing.

My 2 euros … (that’s how powerful the euro is getting … 😉

Laura

December 24, 2007 at 3:19 pm

Hi Valerie,

I don’t think we have officially met yet, but I’ve been a fan and a reader
for years. And of Barbara’s “stuff” as well!

You message rings loud and clear. I have years of corporate marketing
experience but it becomes a whole other deal when you are marketing
yourself! I work with a lot of women with their businesses and we always
have to get to the “M” stuff – Marketing & Money!

As you said in your PS – we can have the best ideas, or even the best
products but if we are afraid to toot our own horn when we know we can help
someone – we’re doomed to be financially successful.

This personal story comes to mind….This year is the first year I’ve had a
product, called the Joyful Business Guide – it uses law of attraction
princples to create a business plan that organizes and energizes your ideas.
I decided early on to donate $10 for every system sold to Women for Women
International. The other night I woke at 3am (why is it always 3am!) and
realized I’ve sold 75 copies. I’ll be donating $750! I’ve never donated
that much money before. I know it’s not a lot to some people but it had me
sit up in bed and be both scared to death that I was going to do this (and
thinking of ways to justify backing out!) and also I felt myself feel like a
real CEO – making a commitment and following through and the possibility of
the future of what a difference I can make!

I agree with you that there is a whole other conversation for women business
owners here – cheers to you for opening it up! (and letting me share!)

I read your email and was wondering if you know about Denise Michaels?

She wrote a book called Testosterone Free Marketing about this very
subject and it was very helpful to me.

She has a networking group on Ryze that I subscribe to and I’ve sent her
a message about this particular email and the issues your readers are
running into. I suggested she contact you and maybe you two can work on
something together.

Hope this is helpful. Your emails helped me so much, I hope I can return
the favor!

Shai

December 24, 2007 at 3:21 pm

Hello Valerie,

I’m not in a position to sign up for the teleseminar now, but wanted to
thank you for your own non-pushy but assertive presentation, especially the P.S.; a great reframe from “pushy” to hiding one’s useful light.

Agnes

December 24, 2007 at 3:24 pm

Thank you for your email about women and money and our discomfort with
selling. I was on Alex’s call and I was truly impressed with his
clarity, focus and organization. I was sold — I thought! Then I spent
today wondering if I really want to spend “all that money”; and if I
don’t, then why don’t I, what’s the REAL reason? I kept thinking that
I would be putting myself in a position to “rope” people into
teleseminars – but would they really want to be there? And what could I
possibly say to them to keep them interested, and isn’t it just a little
“smarmy” or something to make soooo much money so quickly? — even tho’
I rationally know there really isn’t anything wrong with it — I can’t
seem to put my finger on my own hesitation. I’ve spent the last year
exploring my belief systems about money, and self worth, and worthiness
and I’m still struggling with the idea of making money — like if I had
more money it would somehow change who I am. How ridiculous is that?
Yet — I would love to win the lottery like everyone else and that
doesn’t seem sleazy. I’m not a stranger to hard work and am very
willing to work — it’s almost like I feel like I have to work very,
very hard in order to deserve to make alot of money — altho now I work
very hard and DON”T make alot of money! Why does that seem “okay” on
some level?

First, thanks for the teleconference on teleseminar. It was great, and although I will not be able to take advantage of it now, I will in the near future.

I too had a problem with marketing, tho I don’t know whether it’s related to being a woman or not. I soon got over it tho when I looked at it this way:

Some of us will feel uncomfortable if we just think about the money. However,it’s a matter of perspective. If you are offering a service or product to fulfill a need for someone, you are actually doing them a service by making them aware of what you have to offer. This is different from “pushing” your product or service on someone who doesn’t have a need for it. Dealing with objections is part of marketing in that your client/customer may not realize how it fulfills their need, which then goes to how well you know your target market, etc.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

December 24, 2007 at 3:27 pm

I would first like to say how much I enjoy everything that you provide someone like me.

I am an independent, certified parenting educator. For many years I voluntarily facilitated several parenting programs and a self-esteem character education program for children in an elementary school.
Approximately 6 years ago I started charging for this same work in various community settings.

It’s been a struggle to learn how to market myself, but I came to the realization that if I’m to move forward, I have to learn how to find my niche market and then market to them.

I am now somewhat suffering from what I like to call the “IO” syndrome, information overload. I’m now trying to piece together all the information I’ve extracted for so many months and I’m studying core coaching skills.
I found myself thinking yesterday, that it was almost easier to market myself as a volunteer.

The whole money issue has been a stumbling block for me for various reasons that I will not go into right now. I certainly can relate to this topic, and I’m glad that you are paying attention to it.

However, what really just struck a chord with me was what you said at the bottom of this email about Joan not writing her book, because she didn’t want to seem pushy…..you really got me here. I am part of a writer’s group at my local library. I joined because I enjoy writing, and because I have a personal story to tell. I’ve written much about it, but haven’t quite completed it. What you said here, really hit a nerve with me because I keep putting it off.

I know this veers away from the whole money topic, but I just wanted you to know how much your statement resonated with me here.

I’ve always felt that people like you, and Barbara Winters market with integrity.

Thank you for the work that you do.

Rosemary Senjem

December 24, 2007 at 3:28 pm

Thank you Valerie!

We need to keep on sharing this with people early and often as they develop
their self concept as entrepreneurs.

My workshop called “Marketing Your Way with Easy Steps Every Day” is a whole
day of experientially learning what you are talking about. Thanks for
helping people see the light.

I had a chance to hear Alex on another call and have seen his videos on YouTube. He clearly knows what he is doing and is clear about it. I found the information helpful and have already added an ask page on my developing website. I can see how I can start out simply and build up my list. Ultimately I am hoping to create an internetradio/blogsite with a friend of mine. But first I am starting with what I know and that is about how to write for life.

Now to the issue of money and marketing. My friend Phyllis who I will partner with on the radio site has vast experience as an on air personality. She had 12 years on a talk show here in NYC, worked with ABC and the Financial News Network. If you told her NBC called and would you like on the Today Show tomorrow morning she would go get her hair done and not blink an eye. When she asks me what I like to be on the Today show I turn white at the thought. Her question is would you like to do that? And I say for me that is the wrong question. Because right now the last thing I would to do is go on TV or stand in front of an audience of a thousand and talk about what I know. Yet I would do it and have done it to a smaller extent. For me to feel comfortable I have to be certain I am actually marketing something of value. To define myself as valuable enough to ask for money is hard. Cathie Black- Basic Black: The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work (and in Life) says men ask for a raise and don’t say thank you but women do. Men seem to assume that it is owed to them.

When do women leave behind the mindset of poverty? When can they take on the mantle of success and not feel bad about it? I like to look to Ali Brown of Ezine Queen for some inspiration. She is not ashamed or shy to flaunt her success. And I mean flaunt in the best way.

I can’t say at the moment any of this makes me feel comfortable. It doesn’t. But looking at living in poverty in my golden years makes me really uncomfortable. At the moment my steps are small but soon they will become larger. I am grateful for the opportunities afforded me and hope to make the best of it.

Sandra

Fayette

December 24, 2007 at 3:33 pm

Hello Valerie,

I am a 54 year old single mom. I have raised three childred: two girls ages 24 and 22 and a son, 19. My girls have their BA’s and my son is in Junior College. Both of my girls are now pursuing secondary education. My oldest daughter is working on her Masters and my youngest daughter is going to Fashion Design School.

The reason I mention this is because had I not been marketing and making money in my business, my kids would not have made it to the point where they are now. All of this I did on top of working a 40 hour a week job.

I don’t understand what the problem is. When you are in business one of the things you are in it for is to make money. In order to make money people have to know that you are out here and what you are doing.

If women have a problem with marketing and making money, why start a business at all?

Marketing and making money comes with the territory! At least that’s what my mother and grandmother taught me about business.

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