I was hesitant to go on at length in the other thread that was briefly co-opted for adult purposes, but if such discussions are restricted to this thread then people can avoid it if they find such topics offensive (which is perfectly within their rights). I also don't want my hesitance to be misinterpreted as a belief that talking about sex should necessarily be private and especially that it should be considered shameful. I believe that adults should be able to discuss such things in a mature manner, as a medical professional would.

But regarding the incident, it was sort of funny because my gay friend helped facilitate it. We were sitting on the patio of his second story apartment and were going to put his headphones between us so we could listen to music, but he decided to just let me wear them instead. I started listening to a song that I enjoy, but only in the general way that people enjoy songs (i.e., not to fulfillment). He startled me by taking the headphones off and telling me he was choosing a different song for me to listen to (one that I had previously mentioned reminded me of sex) and then went inside. Et la suite, tout le monde la connaît.

I've tried to find scientific articles about this phenomenon (if indeed a phenomenon it be), but my ability to find quality peer-reviewed, scholarly articles is entirely restricted to the humanities.

And as I alluded to, I don't think music could move me to that extent. I've gotten some pretty great chills from some particularly poignant passages, but no orgasm. I can have a lot of precum if I've been turned on a while, though, which I guess kind of counts as that can still get girl pragnent. If I'm not psychologically into it, though, no amount of even actual stimulation is going to get me to finish, so I know that psychological factors count in a lot. I'm just not sure that "a lot" encompasses "100%"

Oh, and I should say that the only reason I started the thread was because I got approval from Ponder today.

EDIT: I guess I should talk a bit here about some things going on with me, too. I met this woman in late July, and we hit things off really well. She lived kind of far away, about an hour drive, but we agreed to meet up anyway. Our initial plan was to meet for lunch, for me to walk with her around the big mall, and then depart. At her suggestion, the plan changed to me coming the night before, me getting a hotel room, and her coming to see me, and then lunch+walk the next day. So I drive down the night before, she meets me, and we end up having sex. It was pretty awesome because we both had actual feelings for each other and were really comfortable with one another even from the first. After some cuddling and an attempt at a second round, she needed to get back home and I needed to sleep. Next morning, we're coordinating our regular plans and she gets a letter for something she needs to deal with that day, and our plans get cancelled. So I have no other choice but to drive back home, with her texting me that we should not have done what we did, that we were irresponsible, and I feel terrible, like I had intended it to be a one-night stand when in reality I was very interested in her. After I got back home, we texted some more and she said she didn't think we could work out because of the distance and families (she has kids from her prior marriage). I know I should feel free and clear, but I still feel like I one-night-standed her.

This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.

So I have precious little to contribute to this thread at the moment, but jvcc's topic reminded me of a passage in the novel Lamb, in which Biff and Joshua are having a spat over how to lead their growing movement, and Biff retorts something along the lines of "Fine, you go ahead and offer inner peace, and I'll offer instant orgasms on demand, and we'll see whose movement is more popular." Because, you see, they had previously trained meditative techniques in the far east, and... well nevermind, you guys carry on...

Zombie Protestor wrote:And as I alluded to, I don't think music could move me to that extent.

I never said that it could. In fact, I believe I stated that I'm not sure if men can experience the hands-free orgasm at all. If not, ha-hah!

In response to your lady troubles, have you considered sending her a message explaining that you didn't intend for it to be a one-night-stand and that she doesn't need to respond but you still felt the need to make sure she knew? I'm not sure she will see it that way, though, considering she's the one who ended things.

Esbe wrote:Because, you see, they had previously trained meditative techniques in the far east, and... well nevermind, you guys carry on...

I have a friend who says he read some sort of Eastern or Eastern-inspired masturbation advice for men (he was either vague about the details or I can't remember them; I'll assume the former to save face), and it helps him feel the orgasm throughout his whole body. This bit of information followed a discussion about how in general women can or often do have orgasms not strictly confined to the genitals, which distinguishes their orgasms from men's.

jvcc wrote:In response to your lady troubles, have you considered sending her a message explaining that you didn't intend for it to be a one-night-stand and that she doesn't need to respond but you still felt the need to make sure she knew? I'm not sure she will see it that way, though, considering she's the one who ended things.

She knows I didn't intend it to be, especially with me trying to continue making the plans the next day. We've re-established contact and she knows, it's just that it's something we both should have been sobered up to before anything happened. She has kids that are in school, she works two jobs, I can't really leave the city with the custody agreement (I could, as long as I stay in GA, it's just that it states that I'm the one doing the transferring, so driving however many miles every Sunday does not appeal to me), so we should have known before it started that it could not work. Me, I chalk it up that we both needed to have sex and we were both handy.

About the same time that I went on that little tryst, I was still talking to another woman who had made it clear that she really was not ready to date, but had said she might be comfortable with a physical-only relationship, as she has a very high sex drive. I mean, she masturbates at least once a day, usually twice, and many nights we called each other up just to listen to each other. I have to say, she has the most amazing-sounding orgasms because her voice is very cute to begin with.So that was pretty fun for a while, but as she lived with her parents and drove their car, there was really no way we could be FWBs. About that time I realized that while the pseudo-sex was great, I still felt really unfulfilled. Also about that time, she decided that she was definitively going to stay single, that she enjoyed it. I asked her if she would mind if I talked to this girl that friends of mine were trying to set me up with, and she said of course I could. We remained friends and she supports my current girlfriend.The first girl, we had this amazing chemistry, personality-wise and sexual. There's so many times when we were mutually doing things on the phone that she almost said, "F*** it, I'm getting in the car and coming to your house," to give you an idea. Things were scaled way back when we became friends-only, but recently some things have been rekindled. We haven't started anything back up; we're not sexting or calling to listen to each other, but the sexual and romantic tension is very palpable. Please don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriend very much. It's just that trying to bottle up the feelings, both carnal and romantic, from before is kind of hard, but other than that we have truly become best friends. I've never even met the girl in person. We've sent each other videos and pictures (innocent ones) galore, and talked on the phone (also in an innocent way), but have not had the time to meet. Yet. She's going through some stuff where two of her friends are being taken from her (one of them has turned out to be a total dick and keeps stealing things and the other up and moved across the state the same day he told her he was going), and I've been helping to keep her strong and support her during it, and so she's told her parents about me, and they like that I've been there for her (normally they are leery of her meeting people from the internet, which is understandable), and are fine with her meeting me. The plan is that she will visit on a day where I have the kids. I don't want her to visit so that we can try to do things, I want her to visit because we have become great friends.Before you ask, my girlfriend knows that I have a female friend and is fine with it. I haven't told her that my initial goal with her was to date her, and all the other stuff, but other than that she knows about her. I've shown her pictures of all of my friends, her included.

This post not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If numbness or tingling persists for more than an hour after reading, please consult a physician.