Good Enough For Mehttp://depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org/depressionblogs/lorack/index.php?tempskin=_atomFree depression and anxiety support online. Free depression and anxiety blogs, free depression and anxiety chat rooms. A depression and anxiety blog and chat room community... (Click 'Customize' to personalize this message)b2evolution2018-12-19T09:20:44ZIf you need a smilelorackhttp://depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org/depressionblogs/lorack/index.php/2011/10/07/if-you-need-a-smile2011-10-07T15:29:48Z2011-10-07T15:32:02Z

]]>I'll Just Waitlorackhttp://depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org/depressionblogs/lorack/index.php/2011/09/17/i-ll-just-wait2011-09-17T15:14:31Z2011-09-17T15:14:31ZI'll Just Wait.

He refers to himself, as my husband

He seems to know me, my favorite things.

I look into his eyes, and feel empty

I'm told yes, we are a couple,

I can't help but wonder why.

Sometimes I get a glimpse of a man,

a kind and a gentle soul.

then he is gone again where, did he go?

I'll just sit here quietly, and wait

for the man I use to know .

Lorack

This poem was written 3 months after the night was admitted to the hospital. I had several seizures. Apparantly there was a few minutes when Ididn't know who my boyfriend was and I was terrified of him. At the hospital I was aware of what was going on but i couldn't talk. Oddly, I was extremely calm. I just let the events unfold because there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it. I am fine now. Actually I am better then fine. That night changed me forever. I liked who I was before but now I really like me. I am not the same person. I stand up for myself now. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think where the heck have you been all these years? I still have bad days where my speech is slurred and walking is really bad. Those days makes me appreciate the good days even more. One day I caught myself wondering what if that that confused state was for the rest of my life. Out of that came this poem.

]]>Did You Knowlorackhttp://depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org/depressionblogs/lorack/index.php/2011/09/07/did-you-know2011-09-07T18:34:26Z2011-09-07T18:34:26ZDid you know?

People treat you badly not because you deserve it. There are bad people in the world. During a tearful counselling session I told my counsellor that I still hadn’t figured out what I had done to deserve being abandoned at 8 months pregnant with my second child. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “What makes it think it was you?” I hadn’t thought of that possibility before. He then went on to say something like, good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people. It is what you choose to do after the fact that determines your quality of life.

Did you know?

Your best friend in the world is actually you. So you better start treating yourself a little better because there is no getting away from you. Can you imagine if you talked to a friend like you talked to yourself. Accept yourself as is, and tell yourself, “I am a work in progress.” Tell that negative voice replaying in your head to shut-up. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean this is as good as it gets. It means you have gotten to this point and now you are going to trust yourself to get a little further towards your dreams and goals whatever they may be. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Truthfully the same amount time will pass whether you are reaching for your goals or not. I will be a year older next year regardless. So I will do everything in power to dream and obtain my goals.

]]>Round Twolorackhttp://depression-blogs-chat-rooms.org/depressionblogs/lorack/index.php/2011/08/31/round-two2011-08-31T17:31:38Z2011-08-31T17:33:10ZI had a severe bout of depression in 1996. After 3 excruciating months I came through it and got my life back on track. Those months consisted of sleepless nights, scaring my family and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness I never knew existed.

I have to confess though the fact that I won the battle with depression turned me into a mental health snob. I figured if I could do it, anyone could. You just got to want it bad enough. What I didn’t realize until very recently, my attitude was so wrong. Depression is a condition that needs to be managed. What works for me may not work for you. Sometimes it’s a combination of things that works, not just one thing. I urge anyone battling depression not to give up, keep looking for answers and try everything until your condition is managed. Depression is not about character or about personal strength .

You may wondering why I came to the realization I was a mental health snob. In May of 2011 I went through round two of depression. This time the depression was the sneaky kind. I wasn’t sad or anything, I had positive thoughts etc. I had a constant headache, no energy, couldn’t concentrate , no desire to be around people and I couldn’t sleep. It was a quiet, dark, shadow in the background of my daily life.

The doctor put me on anti depressants and I was furious. How dare he label me depressed when I’m not even sad? I did trust my doctor and decided to take the medication anyway, and it turned out we were both right. I was suffering from depression and also a medical condition that came to light within the early stages of being treated for the depression.

I am doing great now. I am still on the anti depressants for now. As hard as everything was, I wouldn’t change anything, it has made me who I am today.