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Nerdgasms of the Week: Gillian Anderson in 'Crooked House' and 'The X-Files'

As I settle into old age ("old" by Los Angeles standards) there are few things that'll make me squeal like a girl being serenaded by Shawn Mendes during her sweet sixteen.

First, there's the trailer for Crooked House. It stars a bunch of veteran actors (Glenn Close, is there no scene you haven't chewed up?), but most notably, it features Gillian Anderson in a dramatic Cleopatra wig trying not to look suspicious while a hottie detective investigates a creepy family in the British countryside. Throw in the words "based on Agatha Christie's most twisted tale" and a title card that basically says, "adapted by the bloke who gave us Downton Abbey," and you have Anglophile catnip. In other words, I. AM. IN.

And then there's the return of The X-Files in which Anderson's Scully, after 25 long years, finally gets up close and personal with some extraterrestrial baddies, kicks ass, takes names, and proceeds to kick more ass -- all accompanied by a nifty cover of The Cranberries' "Zombie."

I was lukewarm on the previous round of this reboot, but I am more cautiously optimistic for these next installments.

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Earlier this year, when the trailer for the most recent Murder on the Orient Express remake was dropped, I was hoping that someone at 20th Century Fox would have the foresight to concoct an Agatha Christie Cinematic Universe. After all, this is the world we now live in -- where every property coveted by a major studio must have the potential to be milked for all it's worth. Plus, as a former child raised by an Agatha Christie fan, I am somewhat familiar with this world, and experiencing new renditions of these titles as an adult is exciting.

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The following is purely speculative for the purposes of our general entertainment and my possible employment to write the inevitable HBO/Hulu/Netflix/Ryan Murphy limited series...

EXT. THE MOSSIMO ESTATE - DAY

A black SUV makes its way through a throng of news vans and a mob of reporters. Cameras flash. A proverbial media circus. The SUV pulls up to the gate as it slowly opens.

EXT. THE MOSSIMO COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS

The SUV makes its way up the driveway and stops. A shaken LORI steps out of the car. She's clearly had a rough night and glances up at the house, preparing herself for what's to come. Her assistant, RILEY, 27, an overly groomed twunk running on three Venti lattes, is right there with her.

He attempts to guide her to the door, but she waves him away.

INT. THE MOSSIMO ESTATE - FOYER

Lori and Riley enter the quiet house, the outside chaos suddenly muted. No one is there to greet them.

RILEY She should be upstairs in her room. LORI And Isabella? Riley solemnly shakes his head. Lo…

Who is The First Echo?

Hiko Mitsuzuka is a self-proclaimed pop culture connoisseur who resides in L.A. and obsesses over pop songs months before everyone else does.
Hiko has worked in TV and commercial production ever since he left his native New York in the early aughts. He has worked at the world-renowned Anonymous Content and freelanced as a treatment writer for award-winning directors, a contributing writer for Instinct, and the Executive Editor of Hotter in Hollywood. Hiko can currently be seen in the roles of Manager of Creative Planning at Stun Creative (PromaxBDA's Agency of the Year, 2013, 2014, 2017, 2018), film critic for ScreenPicks, entertainment and travel journalist for Bello Mag, and contributor for The Huffington Post.
His hobbies include quoting sitcom dialogue and stalking people on Instagram. His vices include chocolate chip cookies and movie theater popcorn.
Tweet him @TheFirstEcho.