Monday, November 24, 2008

worst svu opener ever

i just watched the most ridiculous svu cold open there ever was. there are four shows on my list of a billion shows that i watch that i decided to let pile up so i can just marathon them later on. law and order svu is one of those shows, and i just started an episode from about four weeks ago. this is how it went:

a man and a woman are walking near the water. the woman is holding a swan shaped sack o' leftovers. the man mentions that the view is beautiful. the woman irrationally gets all up in his biz about how he thought the hostess was beautiful and the waitress, etc. then he retaliates by basically calling her a drunk because her mouth wouldn't stay off the mimosas. keep in mind this, as is the norm with law and order cold opens, is terribly acted. so then, the guy interrupts himself from insulting his girlfriend to be all 'let's not fight on a day like this.' the girl is all 'day like who now?', then the guy GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE TO PROPOSE. like, oh, perfect timing there sir. your girlfriend just accused you of having a severe wandering eye, you retaliated by calling her a lush, and then decided to propose. and so he's all down on one knee after asking, and she's all open mouth with a far stare...he waits literally half a second before going 'i said, will you marry me.' like yeah, guy, even if this were remotely realistic, you would have the sense to know that a question like that could be a stunner, so give the girl some room. but then...THEN, the girl slowly raises her arm, to point what she was staring at. pan over the guy's shoulder to a woman floating in the river.