Last year I wrote a post showing why becoming a believer and follower of Jesus Christ frees people to remarry without being adulterous. That post led to a natural question; can a believing Christian who was born again before her divorce remarry without being adulterous?

In this post I will consider how believers glorify God by being sanctified. What does sanctification look like in marriage and how can divorced Christians be sanctified for God’s glory? To answer this I look at the relationship between the law of God on adultery, the justice of God for sin in the death of Christ and the wisdom of God in marriage relationships in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. To see how these three relate in our thinking see eight biblical personality types.

The law of God on adultery.

The term adultery has a wide semantic range in scripture:
– God’s covenant people are adulterous when worshipping other gods (Jer 3:6-9).
– in the same way, adultery on a human level is to have extra-marital sex whilst in a covenantal marriage relationship (John 8:3-4).
– Jesus goes further in the sermon on the mount and applies the term adultery to sexual union and remarriage after divorce (Matt 5:31-32)
– In the same sermon, Jesus extends the term adultery to lust in our hearts (Matt 5:27-30)

How are we to make sense of this with respect to remarriage? Is adultery only when we have sex outside marriage? Is it adultery when Christian divorcees remarry? What about the fact that all men are adulterers, as there is no man who has kept his thoughts perfectly pure since his wedding day?

The way Paul uses the term adultery in 1 Corinthians 6 is in relation to extra marital sex. “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband and they should both satisfy the others needs sexually (1 Corinthians 7:2ff)” The baby Corinthian Christians were engaged in all forms of actual sexual depravity with multiple partners. Paul’s argument against this sexual sin sets two groups of people in contrast to each other. First, non-Christians who sin in various ways because they have no knowledge of Christ (the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, two kinds of male homosexual practitioners and so on 1 Cor 6:9-10) and who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Second, Christians who have been washed, sanctified, justified, made right before God in Christ (1 Cor 6:11). Christians are to behave differently from others because they have been made clean and pure in God’s sight through sanctifying faith in Christ. Believers are pure and so they should want to remain pure (for a fuller explanation of this see 25 benefits of faith union with Christ and my post on how and why Christians can avoid the use of pornography: For men only). The believer’s motivation for sexual purity begins with his status as one made pure and clean by Christ’s death for sin.

The justice of God and the death of Christ on the cross.

For the believer, there is no sin which can undo the work of Christ. Can remarriage effect eternal salvation? No! Jesus died for all sins! The question about remarriage must be confined to the sanctification of the believer which leads ultimately to the glory of God.

The question which arises from this is therefore: does remarriage after divorce make a Christian impure? On the one hand, no, nothing can make us impure in a why which affects our eternal salvation. Christ has already sanctified the one who knows their flawed sinfulness and has found Christ as Saviour. Christ’s death for our sin even takes the pressure off being correct in difficult areas of theology. To think that remarriage will put my eternal salvation at risk undermines the completed work of Christ on the cross and makes salvation dependent on my theological and legal performance. We must confess that the theological conclusion we come to after serious thought, study, prayer and consultation might be wrong but being wrong does not nullify salvation. The Corinthians had grasped this truth with both hands, justification by faith in Christ without works means my eternity is secure, it was their conclusion for the present that was wrong when they said “all things are lawful for me” 1 Cor 6:12.
The question of remarriage after divorce is not an eternal issue for the born again believer but a question of present sanctification or purity. (see my post on sanctification – spot the difference?). So, does remarrying as a divorced born again believer reduce my present sanctification or not? Will remarriage lead to God being glorified or not?

On the one hand there is the law of God on adultery. On the other hand the wisdom of God as we live for his glory.

The law of God on adultery.

At this point, I think we need to be careful not to conflate what Jesus says in Matthew 5 and Mark 9 and 10 with what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians. The laws set out by Christ show the legal standards of God are beyond reach for salvation. No man can have a perfectly pure thought life. Impure thoughts condemn us before God as adulterers. We need a Saviour. We can only be saved from hell through faith in Christ. In both Mark’s gospel and Matthew, the sections on Jesus’ teaching on the law, which is impossible to keep by sinful humans, are immediately followed by events where Christ as held out as Saviour (the faith of the centurion and the rich man “what is impossible for men is possible for God.”)

We should attain to the standards which Christ sets out, not for our salvation but for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31). So, if remarriage after divorce for a believing Christian is not an issue of eternal salvation, then how can the divorcee glorify God? Is it by keeping a law on remarriage or by wisdom or both?

When Paul discusses marriage in 1 Corinthians 6 ans 7 and tells the church that “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband and they should both satisfy the others needs sexually (1 Corinthians 7:2ff)” does he mean one man and one woman for life, as Jesus teaches in Mark 10 from the creation ordinance or one man and one woman at a time (i.e. if sin destroys a marriage can the Christian remarry?)

It is clear that Paul’s primary concern is to ensure that whatever we do as Christians brings glory to God:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

1 Corinthians 10:31 whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

The motivation for glorifying God is that others will come to know Christ as Saviour:

1 Corinthians 10:32-33 Give no offence to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved

Paul chose to be single and celibate so that he might glorify God and focus all his energy on mission but he recognises that not everyone has the same gift as he does (1 Cor 7:1-7). So, how do we glorify God as a Christian in areas of sexual morality? Is this a legal requirement or wisdom issue? Do we obey a law on remarriage or act wisely with respect unbelievers? There is a further consideration, which is the strength of faith, weak believers and strong believers might respond differently when faced with the same ethic (i.e. food sacrificed to idols).

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul goes onto list various ways in which different sorts of people can be wise. If you are someone who cannot be self-controlled, marry (v9); if you are married as Christians, you should not separate (subjunctive), but if you do (presumably because although you are Christians seeking to overcome sin, sometimes in the intimacy of marriage sin wins) the only three imperatives in this section of Paul’s letter is for the wife who separates from her husband to remain single or to reconcile and for the husband not to divorce his wife (continue to support her financially?) (v11).

Paul overarching theology of marriage is that mission is more important. If you can’t reconcile, then don’t remarry, but focus your energy on mission (1 Cor 7:1-2). In a society like Corinth (and the West today) where sexual promiscuity is rife and purity is rare, how can Christians glorify God? By living joyfully for Christ and by being pure. The charge (paraggellow) not to remarry (1 Cor 10) is from God but the language here is softer than a command (epitaghay – 1 Cor 6). All these charges on marriage are situational “I think in view of the present distress that… (1 Cor 7:26ff) ”

In essence, will what I do in staying single or being married bring glory to God in the situation in which I exist? That’s a big question which only each believer can answer. 1 Corinthians 7:17 “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.”

The decision to remarry will will depend on lots of questions all concerning the glory of God:
– am I a strong believer whose focus is like Paul’s on mission above all things?
– do my passions to be married burn so strongly that it affects my witness?
– is the person I intend to marry someone who will help me glorify God or not?
– will I make the same mistakes as last time which led to separation and divorce, and so undo God’s glory again?
– am I able to relate well in marriage to the glory of God or am I relationally weak and so likely to fail to glorify God?
– how will my new marriage glorify God in the eyes of my ex, my family, my church, my neighbours?
– what attitudes exist in my culture toward sex and marriage? How will what I do challenge wrongly held assumptions?
– am I doing this selfishly, primarily for my own happiness, of for the glory of God?
– am I doing this foolishly (read Proverbs)?

This list of questions is not exhaustive and lots of serious though must be given to how, as believers, we glorify God our Saviour.

I am tentative about this answer because it focuses only on the believer’s justification (by faith without works), sanctification (eternal in Christ and present by life) and the glory of God. I have avoided discussing the nature of marriage as a covenant or unbreakable spiritual union, because they don’t appear in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7. Paul does not address either of those concepts here and I have avoided conflating Jesus’ teaching with Paul’s.

I welcome comments and discussion to help sharpen this piece of blunt iron.

Hi, when our Lord refers to “Adam and Eve” he says, in the beginning God made them Male and Female. Why does Jesus refer to Adam and Eve consecutively in the bible?
One man, and one woman for life and the two will be joined as one! More has to be said about that oneness because it is not only the oneness of the flesh he was talking for!

God doesn’t say, that a man must leave his woman/wife for his daughter, mother or mother-in-law, neither for another woman, man or pastor. God was talking about the heart! Not to leave from the heart!
Hence in new testament scripture; “see that no bitter root grows up inside the church that no one misses out on the grace of *god”.
“if you see the abomination that causes *desolation* standing where it does not belong! Run!”
Desolation does not belong in those places. The one who is able to save you from desolation will, but will you know him if and when he comes? He who has ears.

Jesus is the law. “Submit to the authorities established in the land that it may go well with you.” and again, “to maintain justice, love and mercy”.

In regard to holy spirit miracles for divorced couples or broken, unhappily married homes.. if we look at the saints in the old and new testament we generally find no example of this where unhappily married persons were made happy again.. can you name one example? we find many examples of troubled marriages though.. just for a start King David’s, Job’s, Samson, etc., and why was that when so many evangelists, preachers now today claim the opposite.. if you accept Christ as Lord your home, marriage will be better… but for sure this not what Jesus had said..

“And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. (Mat 10:36 KJV)

Few persons here seem to tell the truth.. The truth that Happiness in marriage is not life’s end or goal.. serving Jesus always is.

You cannot live someone else”s life for them, or have them be what you want them to be, each person tends to live his own life and will give his own account as well for it..

(Luke 12:15 KJV) And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Mat 10:38 KJV)

Jesus is the source of our life, happiness, desire and not anyone else, a house, or material things.. admit it or not, like it or not.. in Him is our life.

Now in real life I have seen many persons preach their own views while they lived, until many of them next faced death and where they saw the error of their false teachings often too late.

What peeves me of is that the number one prayer request or complaint that I have heard for the last 50 years is I am unhappy with my marriage or I am still looking for a good soul mate.. firstly are you really a good person though yourself?

Ask a divorced Christian (about 50% of the church) how it was for them going through the pain, judgement, by fellow Christians, ignomony and torment, trying to understand Gods word and the numerous and various, some judgemental views of the church. The law is fulfilled in Christ alone, man looks upon the outward appearance God looks upon the heart. When we search our hearts and know His grace abounds in real life situations each divorcee will know that each day is a new day to start afresh and follow Him, married remarried, single, divorced or reconciled. His love His grace and His free gift of salvation abounds!

The very fact this practice is so common now, I feel refrain to comment.God has blessed me to remain faithful.It is hard to understand another’s pain & agony. But it will be sinful for me to dilute the Word of God or make more strict. The stage was observed by BBC survey team in late 80’s –“Parents see so much on the media & are not able advice children to divide Right from Wrong.”

I left my husband of 6 years to be with another man I thought I was doing the right thing since a wasn’t in love anymore with my husband . Since living with the guy I left my husband for I met my the next door neighbor she talked to me about god n I recently became a Christian I did know that divorce was in the bible I was thinking about getting a divorce n remerrying but now a don’t know what to do! My question is should I go back to my husband because its seems like I’m living in sin!! Please help me! If a remarry will I be in sin all of my life I sure don’t want to go to hell.

Marrin, this is what you do honey, first, give your whole life and heart to Jesus, repent, and ask forgiveness of anything you have done wrong (coz all have fallen short of the Glory of God) THEN EXACTLY at that point of your prayer, Jesus wil come into your heart and life and He will make ALL THINGS NEW! He says He forgives our sins as far as the east is from the west, which means YOU may have a brand new fresh start in you life! OK! 🙂 God bless xx PS Let Jesus continue to work in your life for the rest of your life..that is the key ❤

When you accepted Christ Jesus as savior true spiritual life began. So, the place you find yourself is where you remain and be faithful to God. It is not how you feel it is your love for your savior God. Don’t depend on feelings for they will steer you wrong. It is by grace through faith we are saved and live. We in effect have married into the spiritual family by spiritually wedding Jesus Christ… giving ourselves totally to Him.

What about the Christian couple that has one that wants to verbally and mentally abuse the other? In front of the children or whoever. What if it’s the woman abusing the man? I spent 19 years in a marriage trying to make things work. 19 long miserable years God gave me strength but I eventually saw no hope of change. Her parents saw no hope of change and after 19 years still apologized for their daughter’s behavior. Our children saw no hope of change and asked me why I stayed. I said I wanted the marriage to work. They told me it has never worked and they were tires of the arguments all the time. So I eventually left. I am now remarried to a Christian woman that respects me and treats me right. Was I wrong to leave ?

“Proverbs 21:9 (NKJV) Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman..” This is talking about separation. Apostle Paul says the same. Better to separate than to keep fighting. Build a little room out back and move in. Paul also says, Inspired by the Holy Spirit that if the unsaved wants a divorce from the Christian man or woman, let them have it you have not sinned. You can remarry but only to a Christian person. If your mate is saved then Paul says to separate and live alone but divorce is not an option!https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%207

Thank you so much for clarifying this issue. My husband and I were both divorced before remarrying to one another. My husband’s ex wife left him and lived with another man in sin unrepentent for years before he legally divorced her or met and married me. I was defrauded by my ex who pretended to be a believer until I married him and then never walked with God or went to church our whole marriage. He kicked me out, stalked me, and dated other women before I divorced him. After my current husband and I were married for many years our town spread rumors about us that we left our spouses to commit adultery with eachother and get married. That is a lie. Then we were slandered in the church because of the town rumors and the slander followed us church to church so our kids could not even have a church home no matter how hard we look for a place to fellowship. The same person slandered us in my kid’s homeschool group so they could not make any friends in their social clubs or groups. Anyhow what concerned me is there are denominations teaching that if a believer is divorced and remarried they are in an unrepentent state of adultery unless they separate and they will not be saved. I was never taught this in church in any denomination. So I was concerned when I read about it. But the thought of separating and hurting our younger children (as my older kids were hurt in my past divorce) broke my heart. So thank you for clarifying this issue for me. My husband and I are both believers and are happily married and know and love God and want to stay together for life so our children would have a good home and to glorify God. I agree that either you believe we are saved by grace or you don’t. Sadly much of the church does not believe the grace of God covers ALL our sin. There are those who think divorce and remarriage is a worse offense than murder and you disqualify to serve God if you ever did this. This is grievous. What is worse is how it hurts my children.

For those of you who are confused, this is actually very easy to understand. Though divorce is a horrible thing and remarriage is the breaking of the marriage covenant from the first marriage, to believe that you would go to hell if remarried undermines the fact that Jesus died once and for all to sanctify all sin.

Nobody is pure. Only through Christ are we pure. Those who are divorced need to seek purification through Christ the same way a thief, a liar, a murderer, or even someone who drives their car faster than the posted speed limit needs. All of these things are sinful, because we are sinful.

The sanctification through Christ purifies the believer and can actually use the remarriage for good, rather than condemning it and its participants.

Divorce and remarriage will NOT send you to Hell. Only disbelief in Christ’s atonement for our sins on the cross and lack of accepting His sacrifice will send you to Hell.

Thanks for clarifying this, Neil. I struggled with this for a long time as I am my wife’s second husband and Jesus told the Pharisees that the divorced person and the new spouse are both committing adultery.

It is a beautiful thing to know that I can use this remarriage to glorify God and that the only people attempting to condemn us to Hell are the “Pharisees” in the churches today. That God is still in control and continuing to sanctify us through the blood of Christ and using us for His glory is a beautiful thing. For that, my life and my heart belong to Him in love and gratitude for the rest of my days. I have never loved Jesus more than I do now. You don’t truly love Jesus until you realize how much you need Him and how much He loved you before you even knew Him.

What about… “And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9.62
I take this as one who commits to a new life in Christ by faith and then turns back to the life of sin leaving his witness before others to his shame.
“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?

4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection:

6 Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.

7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.

8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:

9 Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

10 For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God.

12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.

13 Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

14 For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

15 What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.

17 But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.

18 Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.

19 I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness.

20 For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness.

21 What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death.

22 But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.

23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Ro. 6
AND…
12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

13 Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.
1Cor. 3:12-13

Should the believer (Christian) initiate the divorce? Paul says no! If we are truly committed to our Lord Jesus Christ we should endure ill for the sake of the unbelieving spouse and the children. It may be that God will use your goodness and chased life as a testimony for their salvation. That doesn’t mean you should beat them over the head with you Bible. Wouldn’t that be wonderful. After many years of suffering to have your unsaved spouse back a loving Christian who is twice as loving as any other you might find! The children you bring up in Christ will ask you why you remained and you can witness to them how Christ suffered mightily for us can we not endure ill from others of our own family? Should we only look to a happiness in this short life and not see the Joy that is laid before us? Just think… in heaven with your family members complete and for eternity!

There is no escaping it. remarrying is chosing one self rather than god, for how can anyone glorify him if one is out right being adulterous in the sight of men to whom he or she is representing as a follower of christ. It does not make sense for a thief to proclaim innocence when he is caught stealing that night, not only that would noone believe him again but his testimony and witnessing is no longer valid. To this i totally agree with paul, not that you loose your salvation but you lose your rewards in exchange for a temporal happiness. Truly god should always be the priority in our lives for once we fill our daily living with and for him he fills and provide us with more than what we need. Abundance, yes it is a hard choice but then again god is god.

Just a side note on the end of your comment. Jesus also said there is no marriage relationships in heaven. Your spouse, children, parents, cousins etc will not be those relationships in heaven. You will be the Bride of Christ.

“What about… “And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” Luke 9.62 I take this as one who commits to a new life in Christ by faith and then turns back to the life of sin leaving his witness […]”

A plough is used for what? Work, right? Works won’t save you but faith will. Who is Jesus speaking to? The Jews right? The Jews are looking for their Messiah and seeking to keep the laws… but God is telling them that the laws are what Jesus was sent to fulfill. He is telling them that He came to pay for their sins for not keeping that law. He makes it even more evident when He tells them to pluck your eye out rather than lust after a woman. Who is able to pluck their eye out? Some might even dare to do this but it won’t save them. Only the blood of Jesus can save. By receiving His sacrifice for our sin we are made alive who once were dead! If that free gift is received then it is done and we are justified (just as if we never sinned). When Jesus returns we then receive glorification… no longer to have that sin nature and we receive eternal life… ALL this comes from God through His Son Jesus the Messiah. To better understand read the first epistle of John. We are not sinless but we seek to sin less and that by following the steps of Jesus relying on His Holy Spirit… see Ro. 7: and 8: . These will help you understand whether you are saved or not.

Barry omg, stop being so self-righteous.. Let he who has no sin cast the first stone and all that.. You sound like a new convert in a bible collage who thinks he will be the greatest, most self sacrificing husband and father. The guy who judges all the other parents and married people but has never even been married.. Life is complicated. I went through a heart wrenching, soul destroying divorce 6 years ago. I have shed so many tears that I literally thought my body might expire from experiencing so much pain. After the divorce I walked away from Christ and lived like an alcoholic. By the grace of God I remarried a woman who had such love for me that I have been sober for years now and came back to the Lord. I was the one who brought her to the knowledge of Jesus Christ. She is actually getting water baptized next Sunday.
So am I to just destroy her heart by saying, “sorry my love, I am divorcing you cause we are living a sinful life just being married.” “I know your just a babe in Christ, but im sure youll make it. See you later..”.. Then what? After the destruction of both our lives and finances, maybe I could go rent a hotel room in the bad part of town cause its so cheap, and go buy a bible and be like, “Ok, Lord, ive done Your will! Look at me, You can let me into Your heaven now.”
Madness.. Your zeal is awesome but your legalism is a foul poison to us devastated and broken hearted wretches.

What about the covenant?. The bible says that if you are both believers, and you divorce your husband/wife and remarry then you both (the new spouse and yourself) will be in adultery. You can’t wake up in the morning and repent of your sin as you are in a covenant which is binding. I am talking about a couple who may just not love each other any more and get divorced, not necessarily for sexual immoral reasons. The covenant will place you in permanent adultery which cant be forgiven as it is binding every day. Repentance means turning away. You cant turn away from the covenant you are in. Adulterous acts can be forgiven if the marriage stays together but getting divorced and remarrying will place that believer in permanent adultery. The bible teaches that all adulterers will go to hell so how do we get around that ? Especially seeing as you cant repent for this adultery as it is a covenant.

“Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.” -Matthew 12:31. Now I ask you to repeat your main point. You can’t repent for WHAT?

You can absolutely repent for adultery and you will be forgiven. Where does it say in the Bible that a broken covenant makes you bound for Hell? It doesn’t. You’ve been fed hogwash.

Do you also realize that you contradicted yourself too? “Adulterous acts can be forgiven” was then followed by “all adulterers will go to hell.” Which one is true? They can’t both be true.

Nobody is arguing in favor of divorce. We all agree it is a horrible thing… but it is not the end of the world. It isn’t enabling a sinful nature. It’s giving hope to those that you are otherwise trying to render hopeless.

Show me a scripture that says that remarriage places you in permanent adultery. It’s not there. A sin is not continuous. It happens ONCE and then it is over.

In fact, I challenge you to show me ONE scripture that indicates any of the following:

1. Remarriage is unforgivable. (Hint: There isn’t one.)
2. Adultery is a permanent state of sinfulness. (Hint: There isn’t one. It’s a solitary act which breaks a marriage covenant ONCE.)
3. Adultery is unforgivable. (Hint: There isn’t one.)
4. Marriage covenants are forever binding no matter the actions of its participants. (Hint: There isn’t one. There are verses that lament the breaking of marriage vows, but that’s all. In fact, the Bible teaches multiple ways in which marriage covenants are broken.)

Just curious: are you Catholic or Lutheran? I’ve never heard such hateful, condemning teachings except from those places.

It’s Christians like you that cause the world to hate us and refuse the word of God. You’re not teaching His love. You’re teaching a false version of His condemnation. Shame on you. If we taught the acceptance and forgiveness of Christ and the “come as you are” mentality (which is Biblical, mind you…) more people would want to experience the love of Christ. Instead, you teach anger and condemnation, something that Christ is not about. No wonder we have so many lost souls today. I pray that one day you let God show you His love and not His anger and condemnation.

Interesting Mike……you just went hard on Christine for basically voicing an opinion. we are all hear to discuss and learn, there will be varying opinions and interpretations of the word.. YOU should show more love and patience as a Christian. For the record, I saw no contradiction in the statement made relating to repenting for Adultery by cheating in a relationship vs Adultery by remarrying. There is a difference in “committing a sin” and “living in sin”. My question is this, If covenants can be broken, can God break a covenant with us?

Sorry Rod, I cannot understand that if the divorce re-marry, and then commit adultery in doing so? Then doesn’t that mean they live in sin? or just can’t participate in the kingdom of god?
And isn’t that why many married couples put up with crap/violence etc. and don’t get divorced re to not lose out on the kingdom? But you can’t punch your way into heaven, so everyone transgresses! No forgiveness in Blaspheming the holy spirit = isn’t that when people don’t believe the things the holy spirit is saying, even to the temples (meaning us who have received).
Eg. So if someone tells you that the holy spirit is prompting them to say to you, to Leave! And you don’t! That tells me Esau could not have had the blessing reversed, even though he sought it out with tears. Blaspheme of the Holy Spirit is the crack in our foundations.
Where I get confused is do antonyms process a legal 33? So, if a legal 33 lives through life in the Father’s name by submission, antonyms have a hard time processing the factors of scripture because how can they. Ezekiel 33. The word is the seed, budded in, flowering growing to produce it’s fruit, who can remove one from the Lord’s hands?

I am widowed. I have never been divorced. I had many troubles in my marriage, I never stopped loving my husband,

I do not understand what people are talking about, when they say, “I don’t love you anymore”. Or, “couples stop loving each other”. This generation of people have extremely hardened hearts,and selfish hearts, just like Jesus told us.

How can you be married to someone and decide you don’t love them anymore? I just don’t understand this mindset, and I am 58 years old. I grew up in the sixties.

No you’re wrong adulterous acts are not forgiven, even if the marriage stays together! In a matter of time, everything will be disclosed. That is why scripture says to put the light on the table, we can’t hide our deeds. I will never let go of your hand again, squeeze tight.
Even if you repent of adultery, the one who tempts you, is the same one who accuses you later. So then, if you don’t believe in sex before marriage, you have to break up the marriage and start again. Practice what you preach! The winds of change are coming when they are not who you thought they were, i.e. when the masks come off. Sorry, Jesus makes it good and right, not us, we are asked to follow. Maintain mercy.
Sorry, they are lying to you whether spouses tell each other, and forgive each other, they are lying, because only God forgives.
We are told in the scriptures if we forgive everyone then our Father in heaven will forgive us. And if we forgive when people sin, then they are forgiven. The Son of Man has authority to forgive. And LOVE covers over a multitude of sins! Only Jesus loves, we follow how he loves and share that.
Everyone is a big word, and when you’re almost there, Satan shows up himself and gives you something else to forgive… that you won’t be ready for!!! Oh! I didn’t know that! I am warning you with tears, Jesus has a crown ready just in time, it is impossible to love Satan and because he is real, he is the one who tells lies to your loved ones! We think our loved ones, friends etc. will believe us over Satan? Beep, sorry, try again! In God’s plan of redemption they finally come around, after so many years that Jesus has been picking you up. How many come in the name of Jesus? But when I was married they loved me? There is an expanse of water in the Holy Spirit which cannot be crossed. Salvation.

Allison, John the Baptist did not tell Herod to give Herodias back to Phillip. What he did say was that it was unlawful for him to have his brother`s wife. There is no command her saying that Herodias had to return to Phillip, just that marrying her brother in law was not a lawful option. Under OT law, Herodias could have married someone else just not a family member. The point wasn`t what some want to make of it. If you go to the OT where laws for who could marry whom were described. a man was not allowed to have his brother`s wife while his brother was still living, because that made it incest. He was only allowed to marry her to raise up children for his dead brother if the brother had died without an heir.

Hi Neil & all , thanks for your sharing.
* Can anyone help me on the below remarriage problem??*
I have a problem which people may feel funny but I have been struggling so long on that.
In the past, when I was young, I asked my ex-boyfriend to call me wife. I and he then has called each other “husband” and “wife” when we were dating in the past. And, at that time , I really considered him as husband. But, we never seriously talked about marriage.
In God’s eyes, was we classified as couple already?
I am worried because I has already married other man.
Please kindly advise.
Many thank ^^

Yan in the old testament, Abraham and Sarah were brought together by God? And did they have a legal marriage?
When Isaac sent out his servant who prayed on the way, later meeting Rebecca was that the Holy Spirit’s doing? Was the party before or later?
God is my witness!

I am so sorry, I am having quite an amount of trouble with this. Since my divorce I have been proposed to three times and I accepted thrice! Yet one thing or another, the laws of nature, like winds, trees etc. keep pulling these men away from me. Worse still, when these men propose -the words they say to me are then followed by the same words my ex-husband used to threaten me with? It is the same spirit. It’s like my ex is using them. And then my ex-husband says he has tools, what is this mortal tools?
One way, because my ex said he doesn’t want me to ever remarry, or have more children, when I was married to him, I prayed that he gets everything he wants! Stuck.
Since then, I entered the kingdom as a little girl, and Lord Jesus has a voice and I have to wait for Him because he said, and I quote: “He is not who he says he is. Be ready!”
I am scared and helpless on this remarriage thing;
1. John the Baptist said to Herod, that his wife was Herod’s brother’s wife and he had to give her up.
2. Jesus says to stop sinning or something worse may happen. Not a letter will by any means be deleted or exchanged of the law, and least are those in the kingdom who teach others to do so.

Okay here is my situation. 19 years ago I married a woman, and it was a second marriage for both of us. both of our first marriage partners had committed adultery against us so we felt that we were freed biblically and it was okay for us to get married. here we are 19 years later and I have moved out 10 months ago we haven’t even slept in the same bed room for 5 months before that. Our marriage has been a shambles for years I never seem to be able to do what she wants me to have tried and tried she wants me to be the head of the house but she won’t allow me to be we argue constantly the children have grown up in this the two oldest have already moved out and our daughter is months away from being 18. my children have even asked me why I continue to stay with the way that I was treated. I finally decided I had lived in the torment long enough and left. I know I had my issues within our marriage just like she did I’m not laying all the blame on her. I even continue to go to the same church until it was so awkward being around her that I was not able to receive anything from the sermons.I finally told the pastor I had to leave there was no way I could stay. I now and just waiting for her to just sign the divorce papers so we can both move on. a month ago at the new church I have been attending I met a woman and we are interested in each other. she knows my divorce is not final yet and we are going to wait until it is before going further in our relationship. my question is since there was no adultery to end this second marriage but there was years of what I would call a mental abuse, we are concerned about the basis our relationship would be built on if it progresses. my soon to be ex and myself are both Christians we just could not find a resolution to our issues becauseshe feels I should conform to what she thinks and I refuse to stay in a situation that could potentially be the same or worse.ever since I have moved out everyone says that I seem to be happier less stressed and more like the person that I used to be. I don’t feel any ties or connection to her anymore. I just want to go on with my life and want to feel that I’m not going to be living in a perpetual state of adultery with anyone in the future that I May have A relationship with. I know there is no reconciliation for my second marriage. I just want to get back to being active in a church and serving like I used to.

I’ve approved your post, as you chose to make it public, and I think it will help people to see the sort of situations people like you are in. As with all previous personal posts like yours, I will not reply in public but send you an email.

I have been struggling with the question of divorce ever since I was married two years ago. first of all I was not in my right state of mind when I decided to marry my husband because my mom had just died of cancer and I was dealing with other serious issues which caused me to feel serious depression. I got married on a whim , neither one of us were ready in fact w were married in my pastors office we had no rings and I said that I would do my best. I never promised till death do us part. I said that I will do my best and than the pastor asked me if I will trust God for the marriage and I said that I would. I didn’t feel peace in my heart about getting married in the first place. In fact I never even changed my last name or ever registered as being married. me and my husband have really bad communication and hardly any understanding of how to relate to each other. I made a huge mistake. I’m scared to get divorced. I don’t want to go to hell. Someone please help me with this.

It’s ok to leave your wife, if she makes you want to leave church altogether and you just can’t meet her expectations of you. But it would be a bad testimony to many people to marry another, especially since you met another woman before finalizing divorce papers with the other one.. It would be a good testimony to actively serve in a church if that’s where your heart is, but not to try and wow another woman. What makes you think you aren’t going to run into the same problems with her if you had unresolvable problems with the first? Good luck!

My ex and his new woman who talked hin into leaving me, while I was happily married totally destroyed me ever wanting to go back to church. They have no conscience as they attend church every week, get offended at me calling them adulterers. Mt kids went to their wedding that I learned later that they married on my late mother’s birthday. He filed for divorce from me, so he could marry her. I had 2 kids with this man whom I haf loved homeschooled our kids, paid for their Christian schooling, reduced the amount of money that I was legally entitled too, so as to save his and our kids house, and I was the one who wasn’t unfaithful and had to live with my sister and commute hours to work so the kids wouldn’t have to be uprooted. Meanwhile he sold the house and made sure he got custody of the kids, uprooted our daughter to attend a new high school not knowing anyone. I held out for reconciliation, yet he did end up marrying his mistress. Meanwhile, I’m the “bad guy” for hating divorce and the destruction it has caused, and for not calling it an adulterous relationship. Somehow they don’t see it this way and felt it was God’s doing. My question is why are church going Christians ok with this and doing this all in thename of God, yet treating the Christian mother, and in some cases the Christian father of their kids so disrespectfully. Why don’t they have a conscience at all why they are attending xhurch on a regular basis? How do they justify themselves and get offended if someone like me calls it adultery?

Keep in mind I’m bot trying to be a self righteous Pharisee. I’m simply wanting people to own up to their sin by calling it a sin and repent of their ways instead of justifying it and not thinking it is sinful and wrong in the first place.

Sorry Jennifer I was hoping for Good News! Genesis: Satan is craftier than all the wild! Did he get information about your likes and dislikes? How well did satan know you, to do this betrayal? And it was from the beginning! Your Life.
Later: After his first wife passed on; I saw his first wife run up and hug him, because she was in the Spirit of the Lord, and to my surprise he smiled and said “Who are you?”
Lord Jesus has overcome all this.

Baskerville: Americans would be very shocked if they knew what was going on in this country under the name of —“no fault divorce.” Most people are unaware of it until they are sucked into it.

What we call divorce has become essentially a euphemism for the government and social service agencies to invade families—to ruin a spouse who has done nothing wrong; to plunder the spouse for everything they have and they are powerless to avoid any of it when a no fault divorce is pursued against them.

This huge government “divorce machine” that has grown up in the last four decades around “no fault divorce” needs to be stopped and stopped soon.

Mohler: In your new book you demonstrate how “no fault divorce” has brought enormous consequences. Can you help spell those out for us? I think an awful lot of Americans, especially those who are younger, aren’t aware of how no fault divorce works.

The government helps one spouse abandon his family with a mere signature to a piece of paper stating that he and his spouse have irreconcilable differences. He no longer wants to care for his family, so the government releases him with no regard for the rest of the members of that family.

Baskerville: That’s right. The term “no fault” understates the problem. It really is unilateral divorce—involuntary divorce. It allows one spouse to force divorce on the other without the involuntary spouse having done anything wrong.

In other words, your spouse can divorce you without you having done anything legally wrong or agreeing to the divorce.

In fact, it goes further than that. Maggie Gallagher … describes it as the abolition of marriage, and that is really what it is.

The marriage contract is not in any way legally binding anymore. It can be broken without consequence by one spouse unilaterally—the other spouse has no choice.

Divorce is simply forced on that spouse. If the wife can’t afford the house, she is throw out.

Mohler: Let’s just revisit the situation before “no fault divorce.” At that time society privileged marriage as a contract above other contracts because it was understood to be more than a contract.

Marriage was understood to be the basic building block of civilization. I think that’s what people don’t understand.

Without marriage being permanent, why would anyone give their daughter away to someone, if that someone can use her, then leave her and the children when he finds someone new?

No fault divorce allows this to go on everyday. You don’t have to have any cause. One spouse can simply decide that he or she doesn’t want to be married anymore and there is nothing the other spouse can do to prevent the divorce.

Isn’t that the ultimate issue here?

Baskerville: That is correct. “No fault divorce” has put the nails in the coffin for marriage.

Mohler: I’ve been concerned for years about what I’ve called the divorce industrial complex. You really do a great job in your book in demonstrating how there is an entire pernicious economy based upon and encouraging and facilitating divorce and it is huge.

Baskerville: It is huge, that’s right. And what’s most important about it is this huge divorce machine is government based. It’s not just private entrepreneurs in this case, it is government officials. It’s lawyers, it’s judges and it’s the huge social services bureaucracies … it’s a huge entourage that is not only profiting from divorce, but increasing government power over private lives in very dangerous ways.

That is why the fight to stop “no fault divorce” is so vicious. A huge industry is profiting from the absolute destruction of families.

“The man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.” Proverbs 6:32

“Adulterers…will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9

“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3

This past week, I awoke one evening and in almost Wilberforce fashion, the Lord seemed to set before me this “one great object”: the abolition of no-fault divorce. Weird! The fact is, this legal practice has wrought untold human suffering and injustice since its establishment in 1969. It is an evil that exists in active opposition to the principles of God’s kingdom. As Christians, we are commissioned to oppose what is evil in the advance of Christ’s kingdom (see Luke 19:13). So the abolition of a policy that has systematically undermined our society’s commitment to the divine plan for the family seems perfectly consistent with the admonition to “seek first the kingdom.”

Throughout history, Christians have fought against countless social evils from slavery to child labor and these battles inevitably began with a campaign of sustained public persuasion that exposed the hidden evils to a public largely unaware. Similarly, no-fault divorce has become so commonplace that its evil is either obscured or ignored. But the availability of no-fault divorce has served to increase family dissolution at a rate greater than ever before in history; furthermore, it undermines the institution of marriage itself, perhaps more so than any other single factor in history. We would not be standing on the brink of same-sex marriage were it not for the corrosive effect upon marriage-as-an-institution that followed the divorce revolution.

Constitutional and family law attorney J. Shelby Sharpe says, “No-fault is national catastrophe. Anything which overturns the order or systems of things whereby families are destroyed and the whole of society adversely affected is by definition a catastrophe.”

You may be surprised to learn that the initial efforts to advance no-fault divorce legislation were underwritten by Hugh Hefner through the Playboy Foundation, which financed an army of young lawyers working to advance these antifamily policies. Let’s see…America’s largest pornographer working to rewrite public policy related to the family? There’s something seriously wrong with this picture! Alfred Kinsey also played an instrumental role in reducing these legal protections by falsely reporting that adultery was commonplace in most marriages. This reduced the stigma associated with adultery and ultimately served as the basis for eliminating all laws against adultery. Hefner and Kinsey both saw marriage as the final barrier to sexual freedom and thus determined to remove its inhibiting influence upon unrestrained sexual activity.

No-fault divorce is much more than just divorce; it is a legal tyranny that denies the fundamental right of due process to a defendant. Prior to no-fault divorce, the party seeking divorce (plaintiff) was required, by law, to demonstrate cause on the part of the other party (defendant) prior to dissolving the marriage, dividing the family’s assets, and destroying the two-parent structure essential for children. These measures provided strong legal protections—primarily to women and children who might otherwise find themselves abandoned by husbands and fathers who simply sought “greener pastures.” (You might think me overly hard on men here. Granted, both men and women can be guilty of abandoning marriages; however, statistically speaking, women and children are most often the victims.)

Under the system prior to no-fault divorce, the state was limited in its actions and intrusion into the private affairs of the family except in those cases in which one of the parties committed a legally recognized offense against the other. In the wake of no-fault divorce, the state has been given unprecedented access into and unconstitutional authority over what was previously sacrosanct: the family. Historically, the law regarded the family as a preserve of privacy that was largely off-limits to the government. It was what Supreme Court Justice Byron White (1962–1993) called the “realm of family life, which the state cannot enter.”

What is most shocking about no-fault divorce is the inherent unconstitutionality of it all, a direct violation of human rights. A retired circuit court judge writes, “To the characterization of no-fault divorce laws as both ungodly and inhumane I would add unconstitutional as well.” In my conversation with attorney J. Shelby Sharpe he was confident that if a case involving no-fault divorce were ever brought before the U.S. Supreme Court it would no doubt be ruled unconstitutional and no-fault divorce abolished!

One of our most fundamental protections secured by the U.S. Constitution is the right to due process, which secures the right of an individual to be heard regarding issues of life, liberty, or property. This means that no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, property, or of any right granted him by statute, unless the matter involved is first adjudicated or ruled against him at trial.

No-fault divorce completely usurps the defendant’s constitutional right to due process. In the case of Judith Brumbaugh, author of Judge, Please Don’t Strike That Gavel on My Marriage, with whom I spoke, her husband of twenty years had an adulterous affair, formed a relationship with the other woman, and decided that he no longer wanted to be married. Under the no-fault procedure he was able to file for divorce claiming that their marriage was “irretrievably broken.” Judith contested this claim, hoping to preserve her marriage; however the no-fault procedure ultimately gave her husband and the court the right to deny her due process. She was, in essence, charged with a crime, found guilty, and sentenced without ever being heard. The marriage contract was unilaterally dissolved.

Judith lost her home, her children, and her husband; she was left nearly destitute from legal expenses and utterly without recourse—which is legally impossible in every other contractual obligation in this country! And yet in the most important contractual obligation in society, under no-fault divorce the plaintiff is able to break his or her contractual obligation without the right of due process being given to the other party in the contract. The defendant’s life can be ruined, her liberty restrained in countless ways, and her property taken away by the courts. I know, and I’m sure you do as well, too many women and children who have suffered similar results.

This is a travesty of justice that affects more than a million families each and every year, with an annual related cost to taxpayers of more than $48 billion! This cost doesn’t even begin to consider the secondary societal effects of family dissolution upon crime rates, welfare rolls, and the emotional and psychological effects upon the children of divorce. No-fault divorce has created an easy divorce culture, which, according to Maggie Gallagher, an affiliate scholar at the Institute for American Values and a nationally syndicated columnist, “demotes marriage from a binding relation into something best described as cohabitation with insurance benefits.”

No-fault divorce is a social and legal atrocity that needs to be abolished both for the sake of families and children that have, for too long, been subjected to the tyrannical actions of family courts, and because it has encouraged, through law, radical selfishness on the part of narcissistic, self-indulgent spouses. What must be understood by Christians is that no-fault divorce functions as a direct enemy of the gospel of the kingdom by opposing the in-breaking reign of God and his desires for the family.

Okay here is my story. It is not a good one. I first would like to give you a little back ground of what my home life growing up was like. I was brought up in a home that did not regularly attend church. But I did know about God. As a child I would talk to God when I was scared. When I was about ten or eleven I was baptised in a church i was attending on my own. I’m not sure If I really understood baptism but I’m sure someone at the church tried to explain it to me. I do remember afterwards I did feel clean spiritually. I’m not sure if I had ever invited God in prayer to come into my heart at that point. But I assume he was already there because I would talk to him. I lived in a somewhat unstable home. My father was an acoholic and it was hard to deal with. He was a good provider and was free hearted when others were in need though. At times growing up he took us to church but I could probably count on two hands how many times he took us. Anyway that is how I remember it. My parents didn’t really set any guidelines on me my sister and my brother. I was the youngest of the three of us. For instance my brother was allowed to smoke pot in front of my parents beginning at the age of around fourteen. My brother met a girl and wanted to marry at the age of 16, the girl was 15. My parents did say no. So my brother got the girl pregnant and then went back to my parents and ask again saying she was pregnant so they allowed him to get married. My brother always worked even at that age to support his family. I’m sure he got a lot of help from my parents though. My brother and his wife had two children and were married for several years. Over their years together my brothers drug happen worsened and he eventually became addicted to meth. At the age of 47 years old he died of a massive heart attack. My sister in law his wife had been sick with a horrible disease for several years and died a year later. Needless to say because of my brother’s drug habit their family suffered horribly over the years. And I’m sure it affected his children just as my father’s drinking affected his children and wife. My sister also married very young. She was allowed to start dating a 21 year old man when she was 14years old. The man’s mother worked for my father in his grocery business so my father gave premission since he knew the man’s mother. I assume that was the reason anyway. My sister being young quickly thought that she was in love, their relationship became a sexually relationship. The man smoked pot daily and would not work. They had a rocky relationship and he ended up breaking up with her at one point. My sister of course was heart broken. The man started calling her again and she wanted to start dating him again. At this time she was 17 years old and my father told the man that he could not date her that if he wanted to be with her he would have to marry her. He told him that he was not going to just use her anymore. So that is what happened they got married when she was 17. Five years later she had a daughter by him. He still would not work or take care of his family. My sister was supporting them. He would not even help with watching their daughter. So my sister made the decision to leave him when their daughter was ten months old. She divorced him and never remarried or dated another man. That was thirty years ago. I on the other had am a different story. Maybe not as wise as my sister. When I was 14 I meet the love of my life. He was 15. We met and soon started talking on the phone and meeting places to spend time with each other. After several months our relationship became a sexual one and things kind of went bad from there. We became very possessive of each other and began to have fights. We were way too young for the kind of relationship we had. We dated until I was 17 and he was 18 and then one night we had gotten into this big fight in my bedroom. My mother came in and he was holding me down because he was mad at me for something he was accusing me of doing that I did not do. My mom of course got very upset and made him leave telling him to not come back. I ran after him telling him I loved him and to please not leave. He of course had no choice so I begged him to call me. He said he would but never did. I was so hurt and cried for several days over the lose of him. I started dating a boy that was seen as a bad boy. I was just dating him to fill a void I had. I ended up partying some and drinking. Which is something me and my previous boyfriend did not ever do. One night I drank to much and I had sex with my new boyfriend it was awful. Afterward on the way home I cried and felt so dirty. But you know once you do something like that each time it is easier. So started my second sexual relationship. I was 18 and he was 17. I don’t know where God was in my decision making. I just didn’t involve him. But onced I made a bad decision and felt bad I would usually cry out to God not really asking for forgiveness but crying that I was so unhappy. Well me and this boy were just hanging out one day and decided that we were going to get married. I think in part I wanted to show my exboyfried that someone wanted me even if he didn’t. So we decided that if I got pregnant his parents would sign the papers and let him marry me. So we told his parents that I was pregnant not really knowing if I was or not. Which I was not. We married and let me tell you what I experienced. When I was walking down the aisle I felt this strong pulling from God, it was almost over whelming. He was telling me not to do it. I was so scared and too embarrassed to turn around or stop the ceremony so I went through with it. The next morning after we got married I laid in bed and cried. Not long after we got married I did get pregnant and nine months later had a wonderful baby boy. After the birth of my son when he was about ten months old a deep depression came over me and I was so unhappy. I don’t think my husband loved me anymore than I loved him. I don’t know what we were doing together. I finally called my father and ask him if I could come home. He said yes so I went to my husband and told him I was not happy and I wanted to move home. He acted relieved. When I was moving my stuff out of the house my husband left to go to the lake and party with is friends. That first night I was so upset. I didn’t know if I had made the right decision.The next morining my sister in law called me and told me that my husband had brought a girl home from the lake and had spent the night with her and had sex with her. She said my mother in law had kicked her out of the house that morning. After that I decided to file for a divorce. So we divorced. I didn’t date anyone for a while. Then one night My first boyfriend was on leave from the military and I passed him on the street. We stopped and talked. He was nice but very distant. We said our goodbyes after about ten minutes and I went back to my parents house and went to bed. While in bed I started to weep uncontrollably. All the feelings that I had for him came rushing back. I started talking to God. And was crying over this man. I feel like God comforted me in an instant. My crying went away and I was filled with joy. I felt like God told me that we would be together again. You just can’t imagine the instant peace I felt. It felt super natural. I feel like most people probably think yeah whatever when I tell them that and that maybe they think that it’s just something I want to believe but when you experience God’s peace like that it is unmistakable. Anyway after that I decided that I would just not date anyone and wait. My first boyfried was still in the Air Force and was overseas. After a short while My first boyfriends grandpa came into my mom and dad’s store and told my mom that my first boyfriend (I call him that so I don’t have to use his name) had met a little blue eyed blonde headed German girl and was getting married. Of course my mom told me this and I was devastated!! So I thought well maybe I was wrong about what God had told me. So I then unfortunately started dating and going out with friends and drinking some on the weekends and leaving my son with my sister to babysit on the weekend. I had some relationships during that time that were sexual with the first time of having sex being because I was drinking. Oh what a mess I made. I finally was dating this guy that I had no feelings for at all and I knew he was just using me for sex. One night the father of my son called or maybe I had called him I can’t remember, he was living out of state at the time. I had thought about it and thought well if I’m not going to find someone I truely love I might as well try to make it work with the father of my child. So when I talked to him that night I told him if he would come home I would remarry him even though at the time he was engaged to someone else. He left her and came home. I thought maybe since we were a little older that we might could make it work. Well the second time was worse than the first time. He was more violent and had been doing heavy drugs while we were separated. Needless to say it lasted about four months. About the last couple of weeks that we were together my first boyfriend out of the blue had called a friend of mine and ask her to call me and see if I would meet with him that he needed to talk to me. This was the first time I had heard anything from him since I had seen him that night. It had been a little over two years. I did meet with him and I think he had kind of made up an excuse to see me. He had come home from being over seas and was not married and was stationed about three hours away from home. about two weeks after I seen him my marriage came to an end. Ending with a big fight and my husband going to jail. He called me from jail wanting my dad to bail him out. My dad of course said no. I told him when he got out of jail he needed to come and get his stuff because I was divorcing him again. We had lived with my sister the whole time we were back together because he would not work. I was working in a factory but could not support us on my own. Not long after that I started seeing my first boyfriend and we moved in together and then married in 1990. This December we will have been married for 24 years and I love him with all my heart. We have two children together that are now grown. My children are 27, 23 and 18 years old. The oldest of course being from my first husband. I have over the years followed in my dad’s foot steps by not staying steady in a church, however I have been involved in church a little more than my dad was. Me and my husband have never drank alcohol. My kids other than not being in church every Sunday have lived a very low key calm childhood unlike mine. Me and my husband have had a great relationship, he matured a lot being in the military and didn’t have the jealousy issues he had once had. However early in our relationship he did through my mistakes up at me quit a bit. He does not do that at all now and our love has grown deeper with each passing year. I have so many regrets in my life not just with love but with many other things. I have not walked in jesus’s foot steps or even attemped to for many years. Seems that everytime I try to get closer to God the enemy attacks me with my passed mistakes. Here I am 46 years and ten months old and deperatley want that close relationship with God. I felt like he has been telling me to read his word and that is how i would get closer to him. I have a deep desire for my children to have their salvation. I pray for it. They were all baptised when they were kids. My oldest son has grown a very strong relationship with God. He also has made a lot of mistakes. My two other children are just living life. They seem happy and I know they are believers but they are not studying the word. I Pray to God in Jesus name that he forgives me my sins! I don’t want to go to hell or don’t want to cause my sweet husband to go to hell. I am my husband’s first wife which I’m sure you figured that much but he has had other sexually relationships besides me. I’m so sorry this letter is so long but I wanted you to know my past somewhat to know where I was coming from. Do you think God forgives me? I know that I am by far not worthy of anything without the blood of Christ being shed for me. But I worry that God may not honor my marriage since I have messed up so bad. But the husband I have now was my first and only love and first intimate partner. If you can please email me back using the email below.

I need to speak to someone please
!!! I am a Christian but about to marry a man that was divorced. We both Christians nowand bbecause of our situation drew closer to God. I love God and want to go to heaven. I cry every day because I love God and wish I was not in this situation.

HI Tammy, was the man you want to marry a born again believer when he got divorced? If not, then he was not enlightened to the truth of how God views divorce. If he has repented for past mistakes (which I’m sure he has, seeing as he is now serving God and a Christian), then there should be no hesitation in getting married. If you both serve God as you mentioned then Godly pre-marriage counsel is all you need 🙂 The divorce issue is applied to two born again believers who get divorced, so in your case this seems to not apply. Of course, I am not aware of the background of your man so cant comment on his past life and possible current obligations to any other parties. But, God forgives those who were once in the dark and are now in the light. The covenant of marriage is seen highly by God, between two born again believers, as this is done with the intention of including God in their lives. If a couple isn’t saved and get married, and die, they will not enter heaven anyway so why would they care about divorce etc. and heaven. So that being said, if two born again believers get married and later divorce, then there is accountability to God for this as they are in covenant with Him. If your man was saved before he got divorced and it wasn’t due to his ex-wife being an adulterer then he is not permitted to marry, according to he bible. But I assume he wasn’t saved when he got divorced. Hope this makes sense.

It does not matter whether a divorced person was a believer or not at the time of their divorce. Every human being’s first (neither spouse has ever been married to anyone else before), marriage (whether they know God or not) is valid until death. God honours unbelievers’ marriages as well as the marriages of believers. The Scripture clearly uses the word Whosoever, when it speaks about marriage, divorce and marrying another, the latter which Jesus calls adultery.

The divorce issue is applied to two born again believers who get divorced, so in your case this seems to not apply. No, this is wrong advice. The divorce and remarriage issue is applicable to everyone (whosoever) on earth. Only follow the commands of Jesus, not the commands of men.

Joy, if a man won’t marry you because he is a widower and because you’re a divorcee? Yet Jesus also looks at the heart, and the widower had affairs yet the divorcee did not. So the widower waits for the wife to die and can now remarry, and the divorcee who prayed 14 years ago for his late wife to live, and his daughter also to be born from that… Now actually happens to be the divorcee!

Continuing:
So then, the widower’s ‘daughter’ tells the divorcee that she is the ‘wrong one’ for her dad because she is a divorcee and was married before and already has children. And the daughter goes on to say, but there is another woman, her late mother’s best friend, who has never been married and has no children. So the daughter confirms to the divorcee, that she is not the right one, but the wrong one, for her dad the widower. (re-marriages)
The divorcee does not say to the widower or his daughter, that she was praying for them and the late wife, 14 years ago, because she is suffering from amnesia and didn’t know it was them, as this was revealed to her later by Jesus.
But when the widower’s daughter returns to apologise two years later, the divorcee finds out that since the split, the daughter has been sick, and now has leukemia?
And now there is another split between the widower and the divorcee, because the divorcee was blamed for the daughter’s leukemia??
If the divorcee prayed for a whole week for the late wife to live in 1991? and she lived on for another 14 years, the divorcee didn’t know them. And later prayed for the daughter to be born in 1995? and she was born in 1995 and she chose her name also.
Why did they call the divorcee “wrong”? I am trying to figure out now, if the divorcee is wrong, what does that make them?
Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees of the law you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Continuing on: Jesus reveals again later, the widower’s mother had in fact given word to the divorcee at 11 years old (not a divorcee then), to meet her son (not a widower then), when both are of older age.
So who is the wrong one now?
Next time I am with a Davidson, I will remember to bring my diary.

I am a divorcee and has been with someone for 9 years who wants to marry me but I read from the Bible that I can’t.
Because of this my life is is termoil.
I love the Lord with all my heart and willing to give it all up. But the pain is do great. Help me what do I do. My pastor and everyone else says if I do remarry I will not see God’s face.

I became born again at the age of 11 at Bible Camp, but grew up in a household where my Christianity was not shared by either of my parents till my Mom got saved some years later. I went to church till I was in high school then stopped but I always believed though I didnt practice closely. After college I married a man I loved and he knew I was a Christian and he sort of believed but not the same as myself. He would attend church with me at Christmas and Easter so I assumed that we were on the right path and it was only a matter of time before we would have a “real” Christian marriage….I was wrong. 7 years into our marriage he was unfaithful and unrepentant. I stayed for 7 more years but he would not get counseling and our relationship went completely downhill. I initiated the divorce because he continued to be unfaithful to me. A few years later I met a man whose wife had done the same exact thing to him. He was raised in a Christian home, but he fell in love with a woman who though she had been raised in a church setting was not a believer and she had affairs while he was at work and became pregnant with the child of one of those affairs and tried to pass the child off as his child…but he had a paternity test done (because he had had a vasectomy just before she became pregnant) and it was determined from that that she had been unfaithful and the child was not his. And so he left her but continued to see his children and support them. The man who got her pregnant in the affair then married her but eventually they divorced and she is now with another man.
This man and I met and fell in love and the first thing we discussed as we were dating was the importance of the Lord in marriage. It was at the top of our list for things that we both wanted in our spouse and since both of our former spouses had been unfaithful to us we felt that it was okay for us to remarry. We have a great marriage and we are both believers and it is so wonderful to be able to go to church together and to pray together . We also pray for our former spouses and his children that they will all come to know Christ, but for us we feel that God gave us a second chance because we believe he IS the God of second chances.
I have read some things online and in books that some people consider us total sinners and adulterers for taking divorcing our first spouses, but I choose to believe in a loving God that
sees us as we are, and loves us anyway. We are indeed made new in Christ and I believe all He wants from us is relationship…and even in divorce which is was not His ideal plan, we can still be made “new” and go on in right relationship with him.

I divorced my husband 10 years ago. I was a Christian, knew it was wrong, but proceeded anyway, to be with another man who I am no longer with. I did repent many years ago, was truly forgiven by the Lord, and even tried to reconcile with my ex-husband. He has repeatedly refused to reconcile, as he has met and is living with someone else. So I remain single. Am I doomed to remain single for the rest of his life? I love the Lord and want to follow His word and, of course, maintain my salvation, but find myself often feeling sad and unmotivated, lacking that hope of meeting someone and having that togetherness and family life. The scriptures are so clear and definite when saying a wife is not to depart from her husband…and if she does she must remain single until his life is over, or reconcile with him. Please help!

There is always so much commentary from those whose spouses left them or those who split because of irreconcilable differences. There is not much advice for the guilty, like myself. I truly, truly know that my sins have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus..that is not my concern. He has forgiven me and I am truly his daughter. My fear is meeting and marrying a wonderful man and being seen as an adulteress in the Lord’s eyes. I have been forgiven, but don’t believe that clears me to remarry, as I am bound to him for the rest of his days. I need your input and would appreciate those who would like to talk about this…thank you!!!

My husband left me 10 years ago. I can not remarry according to Jesus. Marriage is a LIFELONG Covenant.

You are still bound to your husband and I am still bound to mine. I am still praying for his return. You should pray for your husband’s return. If you do research on this, I am sure you’ll find the same information I did.

“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

Hello. I am Divorced after a 13 month ordeal. I have been reading what I can find about Divorce and remarriage. She left me w/o warning, discussion, and refused counseling from clergy or professional counselor.
She refused to have any discussion on the reasons for divorce and put herself in a way that prevented us from having any discussion.
No abuse of any kind was ever in the marriage.
No Infidelity was present an was not part of the crisis.
Mental illness on her side is present, and would in my opinion be a contributing factor.
She clearly stated, she wanted a divorce … and never swayed from that statement during the next 13 months … when the divorce was completed.
I have been researching to read all I can about being a Christian and to understand my ability to remarry.
After reading your article, … I sense where you are coming from. The word is the word, however God, I believe does not want to enslave us.
Divorce is horrible, but it happens … way too often.
God “Hates Divorce” … so do I …
From the scripture, and from praying to understand His word as it relates to Divorce and understanding God’s love for us … and because of His Grace given to us … and giving us more Grace than we deserve … I believe that I can remarry, with “His Blessing”.
I tried to reconcile with my wife, for a year, but was not even given crumbs or scraps from the table, so to speak to have any sort of hope or see any inclination to reconciliation ever happening, in any sort of way, shape or form. The marriage was over.
I do not think God is thrilled with Divorce and Remarriage, but he understands and under the right circumstances and heart attitude of the believer, His Grace is sufficient.
I have found a Lady, whom I have come to love, who is Christian and for whom I discern is like a soul mate to me, we are both believing and will enter into marriage under God’s Marriage Covenant for the purposes and desires of God. She is 56 and I am 61, our desires are to join with God in this relationship and to be pleasing to Him, giving Him thanks for the new opportunity.
Praise God

In Lev. 20, there is a list of forbidden marriages by law; Herod’s marriage to Herodias was forbidden because it was a near of kin marriage: King James Bible Lev. 20:21
And if a man shall take his brother’s wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless. Additionally, I believe Herod may also have been related to Herodias by blood which would have made it incestuous in another way as well since he may have been her uncle/half uncle, . When John confronted Herod about it being unlawful for him to have his brother’s wife, he was referring to the near of kin law He wasn’t making a statement about divorce not ending a marriage; even if Herodias’ husband Phillip had committed adultery and Herodias could have married someone else, she would not have been able to marry Herod because of that relationshp and the law.

Paul is very clear as to what Christians should do. We all have our battles to face and Overcome. The only question one should always ask themselves is, will this decision give glory to God or does not? You will know it, and no amount of legalistic doctrine can excuse your action. For it is written Let mo man separate what God had joined together. God is has indeed forgiven our sin for all time however do we choose to glorify or follow him, with this we do not lose salvation but we do the lose the rewards, as well as the peace and joy of having known our Creator is please with the free gift of salvation HE has given us. If the Lord is above everything in your life, then His will should be done not yours, this is difficult of course, nobody said carrying your cross was easy, but hey Jesus did it, and HE did not even deserve that but, then He followed the Father regardless, God bless everyone.

Hi Neil, thanks for your article. My sister, who is a Christian, recently got divorced for several reasons, one of which was that her husband was basically not a Christian (nominally at best). She then quickly found a new man who is a new Christian and they are now getting married. She has asked me to be her maid of honour, but I’m not sure what to do as someone that wants to be God-honouring and yet loving at the same time. Thanks for your advice!

One thing I can not understand all I read specially people who is against divorce radically I need answer for this. I am my husbands second according to you he married me and I am commiting adultery because no matter how bad it is fisrt one is always yours. That is like slavery I can understand that divorcing for no reason can be sin but what if person suffering physical and emotional abuse. Why loving God should allow this doea he enjoy our suffering I dont think so. He said she wanted to come back he said no. Now we are having trouble becuse he is irresponsible anf never make me feel at homr I was treated to be his babysitter for a long time home maker I put up with that and his kids treating me like I am sick person to stay away he didnt stop them acting like that so if he doesnt respect my feelings and reading this comments never divorce I feel like I am in a hole I cant get out. He could add more on to our debts while I try to get out why loving forgiving God wants me to struggle with this. I want pay off my debt and help others in need but I cant I have to pay his 4 5 cars and house bills. God wants us to prosper not burried in debt. I am a human I need to be loved and respect by opposite g3nder. If I dont have affection to mu partner I am perfect target for devil. I can stay married and have an affait that is also adultery. What is the difference divorcing and commiting adultery or staying marri3d and being with others. If you divorce you might be able to be with someone you can honor God and do his work. I am sure if I can figure this out mighty God can to. I hate divorce myself but people are not getting divorce for fun. Scaring people with hell makes us unhappy with our suppouse and ourself and our religion that drive us away from him it is very dangerous and help devil. Divorce is necessary in some cases thats my thoughts divorcing for fun or seen someone better than your suppouse is sin.

I have been saved for 26 yrs. I was married for almost 17 yrs to a supposed Christian man that was verbally and mentally abusive to my children. I went to marriage counseling, fasted and prayed for many years until I could not stand the damage he was causing my family. I was never in love with him. we had strict dating rules at my former church and he was basically the only available man in the church. After I divorced him 2 yrs ago. I have strong reasons to believe he was cheating on me and is homosexual. I don’t have proof because he denies it only because he is a minister in the church. The man I did fall in love with is also divorced for 3 yrs. He was married to an unbeliever that stated she didn’t love him. Are we allowed to marry without committing adultery in God’s eyes. Or are we doomed to stay alone forever?

I am going to be blunt and direct here…i am desperate….i am divorced and remarried….my current husband was my friend for 18 years…my “boyfriend” for 12 years and now my husband for the past 2 years….long ago, as friends, we comitted adultery while i was married to my first husband…😢…i was divorced and we remained friends, regretful of our mistake. We eventually discovered deeper and sincere romantic feelings about two years later and became a couple…. I always struggled with our relationship on a spiritual level because of our adultery. However I felt such a deep true and connected love to this man that I just could not walk away. 2 years ago we were married after a long struggle spiritually in regards to our relationship. My question is this… I sometimes feel as if we are in Perpetual adultery not only because we did commit adultery in my first marriage but because Jesus says we are adulterers because of my first marriage. We were both saved before we were married… I was not saved as far as I know until after my divorce. That is a whole nother question because I am confused because I was raised Catholic and Lutheran Lifestyles. I am now a non-denominational Christian and was baptized in the Year 2007. I know the baptism does not mark my salvation but yet I feel like that is when I truly accepted Christ into my heart and relied on him solely for my eternal salvation… I struggle so hard with this subject. Can we be in Perpetual adultery headed for hell ?…. all that truly matters to me in the end is that I am doing what is right before God’s eyes. I know I can never be righteous buy my own works but that I am justified through Christ. But I think that I am on a fine line of using my Liberty in Christ as a tool just to be married. I love my husband and divorce is wrong either way so getting another divorce would be just as wrong wouldn’t it?… Thank you for listening and I hope you have some wise words for me brother… Thank you for this post

Hi Kirsten, I have tried not to comment on individual cases as there are so many but something makes me want to comment on yours. You say that you came to saving faith in 2007 and this will in no small measure be due to your sense of nagging shame for what you did. I imagine that your prayer is something like Psalm 31:1 “In you, LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness.” Yet you continue to have a nagging sense of “what if I am not justified by Jesus’ death for me?” I think you need to ask yourself the question, “what did I repent of and what am I trusting Christ for? Were my tears of repentance simply tears of self pity for feeling ashamed or where my tears of repentance shed because I had offended the most high God and have broken his law of adultery?” If your repentance was only because you did not like feeling ashamed then this will explain why you continue to feel guilt. You need to acknowledge that what you did was highly offensive to God and then you will be ready to receive the grace and mercy of God in Christ. He declares that all who truly turn to him are new creations, the old has gone the new has come. Paul reminds us in Colossians that God has nailed the penalty which stood against us to the cross. Your penalty for your offence, great as it is, has been paid for in full. Then, about your adultery. You did a foolish and sinful thing whilst you were married and you are still in that relationship today, with the difference that your sin and guilt brought you to Christ and you are now married. You are like the woman at the well. She had sinned just like you, but on many more occasions. She had a reputation in town which no woman would want. But when she met Jesus and found saving faith in him, she could not stop telling her friends about the fact that he knew her shameful past and still loved her. Your guilt before God is real. Christ’s death for your sin removes that guilt and if you are in Christ there is now no condemnation. However, you will need to live with the effects of past sin. Every time you have sexual intercourse with your new husband you will be reminded of your former adultery but, as you are both new creations, the old has gone and the new has come, you are no longer the same people, so it is not adultery. However, sex will be God’s reminder of your past sin and shame and God will use this to draw you back to the cross again and again. It is truly a very sad thing that you offended God this way and you will have to live with the memories which bring such shame, it will spoil your relationship with your second husband, but Christ still says “I died for those sins you did in the body before you were mine and they are nailed to the cross, forever!”

Religion will not save you and if you were Roman Catholic that is what you are dealing with. Then you say you were Lutheran and that is another Religion that won’t save you. Salvation is not by keeping a law or some creed. True Justification is by God’s grace (God’s riches at Christ’s expense) through faith (Forsaking all I trust Him) and not of yourself. It is a gift of God not of works lest anyone should boast. This gift is when God gave His only begotten Son to die on a Roman cross bearing my sin. buried and rising again for my justification. When a person understands what Jesus truly did for them that is when there is a choice to accept His payment for sin or reject it. If Jesus is received to obtain eternal life without sin payment… that is not salvation with justification but doing what the 5000 did… followed Jesus for another meal or maybe to see another miracle. When you are saved you have a hunger for God’s word and to be with Godly people. Your prayer life is continuous as you walk about and have things come to mind that is upsetting you and His word comes to mind directed by the Holy Spirit as to help you pray and give comfort and to even speak to another believer or unbeliever. You are desiring to have the full armour of God… Helmet, shield, belt, shoes, sword, breastplate, and praying in the Spirit. This attitude helps you to not sin but remembering that we still have the old fallen nature to overcome. When we get our mind off God and on the flesh we can do all kinds of evil.You have to KNOW that you have been born again. Like the old song says…

Do you know that you’ve been born again? Do you know that you’ve been born again? Does the Spirit dwell within bearing witness that you’ve been Cleansed from every sin and stain? Are you ready if the Lord should come or today your life should claim? Do you know, know, know, that you’ve been born again?

A true believer cannot lose their salvation for it is not dependent on us to save ourselves in any way. Jesus said that the believer is in His hand and no one can take them out of His hand. Then He says that the believer is in the Father’s hand who is greater, and no one can take them out of the Father’s hand… I and the Father are one.Can you picture that? The only way that you can be in both the hands of Jesus and the Father’s hands is one hand to be cupped over the other and in such a position you cannot be taken out or even jump out! That is eternal security!

We cannot lose our salvation and justification because it never depended on us to start with. But we can lose or reward and inheritance kept for the Bema judgement! We either have wood hay and stubble which can be burned up or we have gold silver and precious stones for our WORKS will go through fire. We can suffer loss but never loose our sonship.

On Mon, May 23, 2016 at 9:03 AM, Transforming Grace wrote:

> neilrobbie commented: “Hi Kirsten, I have tried not to comment on > individual cases as there are so many but something makes me want to > comment on yours. You say that you came to saving faith in 2007 and this > will in no small measure be due to your sense of nagging shame for wh” >

Thanks Neil! I have been struggling with this issue ever since my divorce three years ago. I am glad what the bible says about remarriage stuck in my head so I pondered long and hard before taking any action. I want to just give in to the flesh and my earthly desire so badly but I really want to live a godly life. I see so many Christians divorce and remarry and King David and Solomon had so many wives. I feel that if I choose not to remarry, I am missing out. I struggled with whether to start dating again. After reading your article above, I feel like I have found the answer. Yes, our goal as Christians is to glorify our God. Whatever we do needs to bring glory to our God. Thank you! You have confirmed my belief that if God is worth dying for, He’s worth staying single for. If He allows me to remarry, He’ll bring that person to me and I need not look for him so I can focus on living my life to bring glory to Him.

Hello Mr. Neil,
My name is Justin. I’m currently 19 years old and am looking to marry a woman I’ve been with since I was 16. I wish to be a preacher, as I believe whole heartedly God called me to the ministry. I was at McDonalds Bible studying and a gentleman came in and spoke with me. He said something like “if you divorce your spouse and remarry, you’re an adulterer and won’t go to heaven. Because in Gods eyes, there is no such thing as divorce.” Now, I have always understood and been taught that if you place your faith in Jesus and welcome Him into your life, your salvation is secure. Forgiveness comes through grace with repentance right? Granted, I don’t plan on divorcing this woman once we’re married. But if things did go south and I remarried, is that going to conflict with me going Home? I’ll literally make myself a eunuch before I lose the greatest gift ever. Could you clarify and express what you believe God says? Thank you!

Hello Justin, welcome to TG. It is good to hear about your serious intention to enter a preaching ministry and that you are thinking through the teaching on the bible on marriage. It is clear from the bible that God hates divorce adultery. Hardness of heart is the root of the problem, according to Jesus. You can read my posts on eternal salvation and divorce, remarriage. Whilst divorce is not unforgiveable, it would disqualify you from a preaching ministry for a while and in many churches remarriage would disqualify you perminantely (an overseerer must manage his household well and be the husband of one wife.)

My situation is very messy. I left my first husband, as a believer, due to his mental illness. I became angry at God and blamed Him for failing to fix my situation. I took matters into my own hands and ran for 4 years. In that time, my husband asked me to divorce him so he could remarry. I had committed adultry. I filed for the divorce, because it was easiest to do so in the state which I lived, versus his. After he remarried, I did so 2 years later. I had come back to God, asked forgiveness for all I had done and decided to marry my on and off boyfriend. I thought I was doing the right thing in marrying him and coming back to the Lord. Now I read that since I committed adultry I should have stayed single unless my first husband died. I remember a pastor telling me, when I wanted to divorce my first husband that I would have to be celibate the rest of his life. I felt upset at that and refused to look at the scripture he was trying to show me. So now, here I am, 9 years after my divorce and 6 years into my remarriage. It has been rough. I went through a period of time where I thought I had lost my salvation for my running away from God. But now, I’m concerned about glorifying God in my present remarriage. I have a sister who has come out as gay, and in trying to speak to her about her lifestyle choice, she compares it to no more sinful than my remarriage. I looked into the matter and fear this is the case. However, divorcing my current husband seems wrong. How do I reconcile this mess and still speak to my sis about her homosexuality and her need to abandon the practice?

Hi Tonia, welcome to TG. You are not wrong when you say that things are messy. With respect to your marriage, it is great that you seek to do God’s will and that you recognise all the sin and confusion of the past. 1 Cor 7:11 would certainly apply to your divorce when it happened, but you have done what you have done and Paul goes on to say that whatever status you are in when you come to faith or knowledge of God’s will (are called) is where you should stay (1 Cor 7:17-24). In your case, in a second marriage. The teaching on remaining single can’t be applied restrospectively. Your second marriage is a marriage, marred by sin of a previoys marriage, which will continually remind you of your past sins, which can’t be undone, and this should drive you to the cross again and again, for forgivess of the past. But you are married and past sins, confessed and admitted, are covered by your faith in Christ’s death.

With respect to your sister, sex between married divorcees is not the same as sex between two people of the same gender. This is a category confusion. She is right to say that your actions do not follow Paul’s teaching on remaining single after divorce, but you are to follow Paul’s teaching on remaining in whatever situation you were in when you were called by God (for some this means with an unbelieving spouse, remaining single after divorce, of remainung re-married after divorce).

Your mess does not give your sister permission to ignore what God has said about men and women. In the chapter before the one on marriage Paul sets out clearly that sex between two people of the same gender will exclude them from God’s kingdom. The adulterers in this section of the letter must refer to men or women who engage in extra-marital sex, including habitual pornography users (pornoi).

I think that I am being faithful to 1 Cor chapters 6 and 7. You will need to do you own work on the text, read commentaries and talk with your pastor.

Thank you for replying. My pastor pretty much said he same thing. He also said that unlike our lives being on a linear time line, God operates outside of time and looks at the heart. Our heart toward God is the critical point where we accept Him at the cross or reject Him. As far as my sister, I’m very sad I’ve created a life that provides confusion for the enemy to use to whisper and weave lies to her. As far as me, God has humbled me until I was willing to be humble willingly. I praise Him for His strong correction and long suffering. He knew the damage inside me and what it would take to soften the soil of my heart and I am amazed He still wanted me back. He is such a good Father. God bless you and your ministry.

hi, i divorced my wife, after few years married again bu i was not born again christian. after i become born again christian i divorced my second wife. after 2 month divorced i relise i still loved her.
can i marry her again,? am i going against the gospel teaching? please tell me if by marrying her do i commit adultery? thanx

Please help me… if a person is saved by Christ, walks out of his marriage and into another… is this sin if they haven’t repented. Or even if they’ve repented is it sin? and will they inherit the Kingdom of God? … please supply me with scriptures to substantiate your answer. Thank you!

I need prayer. im in a remarriage of over 3yrs and realize it’s sin.my first husband left me and my daughter in 2007 for about 3 months. During that time I was sad crying, trying to beg him to come back. Well he assured me it was over and we were divorcing and he was happy to even pay child support. Well eventually all that hardened my heart bc right before we signed the papers, like a day before, he came to my apt crying wanting to reconcile and I said no from a hard heart. I was newly saved but still felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I should take him back. Anyway, all of a sinned my spirit is bringing attn to my sin of remarriage. I feel led to “take up my cross” and divorce my second husband (who was not married before)and my pastor is telling me not to bc it will only be another sin. I do not love my kids more than Christ and I know He will provide,but I need to hear confirmation from God. yes my pastor knows the scripture and calls what I’m in (the remarriage)a sin just as I know it’s sin. my question is, do I repent once and then treat it as a valid marriage doing my best or be divorced and be single living seperate and raise the kids with the man only? we know what scripture says I’m just not clear on what I’m forgiven of and how far repentance must go (repent from the marriage meaning divorce?) bc I’m truly sorry and am ready to so I can have a close relationship w Jesus. I have 3 kids now, only one from the first husband. Thanks.

I would like some help in my situation, if I may please? I was 28 and sexually abused by my boss. My friend of 15 years (on and off) had suggested that we move to a different location, to help me with recovery. My friend (a male) and I had never engaged in physical or intimate relations. I started reading the Bible in the vehicle on the drive. When we reached the new town, I went to church. When the Pastor found out I was living with a male, he said we were living in sin. At this time we had fornicated, so I also believe we were living in sin (but it was only for two weeks). Being a “baby in Christ”, I believed that I should marry this man, and we were married a week later. God helped us create a daughter, and after that we were intimate one more time to “make the boy”. For 15 years after that, we slept in separate bedrooms, he belittled me, allowed his family to belittle me, the emotional abuse, neglect, constructive abandonment was so bad, I just prayed for God to please let me die in my sleep, intervene somehow, like make it so I do not desire love from a husband, or make it so my husband loves me like Jesus loves the Church, anything.. But each new day God gave me a renewed strength to try again to make my husband happy, only to be pummelled on again and again. My husband never came to my baptism, and belittled the Church in front of our children, saying, “the bigger the sinner, the bigger the Christian”, “they all talk like chickens, it is so phoney”, “Christians are hypocrites”. This list goes on. He would not go to counselling with me, stating “no one needs to know our issues, plus nothing is wrong”. He was the abuser and loved the power he had, of course he thought nothing was wrong. Anyway, due to his treatment of me, and the cracks he made in our marriage, I am gathering he allowed movement for satan to come in. I could not handle the torment anymore and I left the dwelling, does this mean I abandoned the marriage, or did my husband abandon the marriage by pushing and killing my heart? I left the home, me the Christian, him the non-believer stayed. So now he has the privilege of telling the children I am the horrible sinner. I instigated the divorce, as after two years of separation, I kept asking (almost begging) him to reconcile, Let God into your heart and rejuvenate me, Let God fix our marriage, like HE has done for so many others. My husband said no, God does nothing down here, I don’t want any part of it. So I instigated the divorce, and have been divorced for two years now. If I remarry will I go to hell, as my ex-husband says I will? I do not sue him for the court ordered spousal support he was told to pay and doesn’t, as God (I think) suggests not to sue your neighbour. We are divorced and I still live under his mental abuse, in my own little bedroom, in his home, because he will not support me living anywhere else, and my children are here, in this big house finishing school. It is as if my children and I all have Stalkholme Syndrome. The mental abuse he has committed against my children and myself, and we still love him. But after my children are finished school, and because of his hard heart, and my desire to love and be loved, will God send me to hell if I remarry, as the abuser often makes everything look like the victim is crazy or guilty, and I actually do feel very guilty of the divorce and having enough faith in God for HIM to fix my marriage in those 15 years. I have met a wonderful Christian man who so wants to marry me, and I have turned him down over and over again, because since my first husband is still alive, I would be living in perpetual sin, and not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. We are not even living in the same state, and I am celibate right now. But I was having relations with him in the summer, prior to school start. Please help me. Are you just simply stating, that Christ died for our perpetual sins, and not to worry about the other scriptures, such as adulterers will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven? God bless you and keep you, A

Thank you to all who have posted openly on this page. There are some truly heartbreaking situations and no two situations are exactly the same. I hear desperate cries for help and clarity, because of guilt, shame, anxiety and fear. I see sin and evil ruining lives and I weep. Yet, I know that I am unqualified to answer the questions put to me on this page, because I can’t counsel anyone I don’t know and can’t speak to in person and pray with.

And so what can I say? Please search the scriptures, read widely, speak with a trusted local Christian pastor, don’t act without being confident of what God has revealed to us in his word. Above all, remember Christ, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, who loves us and have himself for us to redeem us from all ungodliness and to purify for himself a people who are eager to do good.

I would ask anyone that speaks as though they are perfect.To tell me did Moses marry twice? Was his first wife alive? And would God the Father have an adulter stand next to his Son Jesus during transfiguration?