LIVE-SNARKING THE 82ND OSCARS…

Starts at 5:30 PM PT. Come for the cynicism. Stay for the subversion. Add your comment. Refresh for updates. Warning: Not for the easily offended or shocked.

The 82nd Academy Awards telecast starts with a total waste of time: intro-ing the Best Actor nominees. This is how the show begins? Ohmygawd, what a long and boring night this will be.

TOLDJA! Deadline|New York editor Mike Fleming already tipped you that Neil Patrick Harris (“What am I doing here?” the TV star asked aloud) would open the show with a musical number. Martin Short was supposed to join him, but a family emergency kept him away. Meanwhile, Harris lied to his fans by Tweeting that he wasn’t doing the Oscars.

As one of my commenters noted about Doogie Howser’s opening: “The first two minutes of the 82nd Academy Awards included a pot joke, a joke about prison anal rape, puns about masturbation, drinking, and sex. WAY TO KEEP IT CLASSY, Hollywood!”

Steve Martin to Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner: “Take a good look at us guys: this is you in 5 years.” No, Steve and Alec. Those two have FANS!

Performance By An Actor In A Supporting Role
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds” (The Weinstein Company/Universal Pictures)

Waltz remembered to mention Harvey in his thank-you speech. That new kitchen the Weinsteins built for him certainly paid off bigtime, eh?

DISNEY/ABC JUST ANNOUNCED IT’S RETURNING WABC-TV TO CABLEVISION SUBSCRIBERS. OF COURSE, IT’S ALREADY 17 MINUTES INTO THE OSCARCAST.

Here’s the statement from WABC-TV: “We’ve made significant progress, and have reached an agreement in principle that recognizes the fair value of ABC7, with deal points that we expect to finalize with Cablevision. Given this movement, we’re pleased to announce that ABC7 will return to Cablevision households while we work to complete our negotiations.”

Or, if I can translate, “We need the ratings badly for this Oscar crapfest!”

Cablevision said: “We are happy to report that WABC Channel 7 has returned to Cablevision’s 3 million New York area homes. We are very grateful to our customers for their support and pleased to welcome ABC back.”

You know how last year I kept saying that was the Gayest Oscars Ever? Well, these are the Straightest Oscars Ever! And lemme tell you: I prefer the gay version. At least that had entertainment! Academy Award producers Bill Mechanic and Adam Shankman won’t get hired for the Covina Dinner Theater when this broadcast is over.

Best Animated Feature Film Of The Year
“Up” (Walt Disney) Pete Docter

“Boy, never did I dream that making a flip-book out of my 3rd grade math book would lead to this,” said Pete Doctor. Why do the animated filmmakers always look like cartoon characters?

There’s yet another “thank-you cam” backstage for everyone to plaudit their agent and lawyer. Even so, it’s obvious that the Academy has every winner’s first-born locked in a closet backstage to ensure no one goes over the 10-word maximum for speechifying. These people are terrified!

Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures (Original Song)“The Weary Kind” (Theme from “Crazy Heart”) (Fox Searchlight)
Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Forget that the song was great. Anyone named “T Bone” deserves the awards hands down.

How pathetic is this Oscars that neither Tina Fey nor Robert Downey Jr are given anything funny to say? I swear that Downey has used that “mole people” line at least 3 awards shows in a row.

This is what all those last-minute lawsuit litigants suing The Hurt Locker were hoping for. You know what Mark Boal really wanted to say up there to them was: “Screw you!” (But if really taken from a magazine article, then is this an original screenplay? My head hurts just thinking about it.)

TOLDJA! Here’s that special memorial to John Hughes who died in 2009 which I told you about in an Oscar spoiler on Deadline|Hollywood. Those were great movies. No Twilight Saga, mind you, but great movies. Today, Hollywood would make them all vampires, werewolves, and avatars.ill going on?

Wait a minute, it’s still going on? Yet another example of how Hollywood insiders are treated more special than anyone else in showbiz who died in 2009. (You don’t think this had to do with the fact that Hughes made a lot of his films for Fox, whose execs dominate everything associated with this Academy Awards? Academy president Tom Sherak (at one time a bigtime Fox movie exec), Oscars producers Bill Mechanic (at one time a bigtime Fox movie exec) and Adam Shankman (currently a bigtime Fox Broadcast talent), and Academy Board Of Governors member Jim Gianopulos (currently a bigtime Fox movie exec?)

So 90 minutes have gone by. Can I get those hours of my life back, please?

Best Animated Short Film
“Logorama” An Autour de Minuit Production
Nicolas Schmerkin

Best Documentary Short Subject“Music by Prudence” An iThemba Production
Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett

Best Live Action Short Film“The New Tenants” A Park Pictures and M & M Production
Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

Thank the lord for Ben Stiller in blueface. “This seemed like a better idea in rehearsal. It was either this, or a Hitler uniform.” Did you see the camera just pan to a stone-faced Jim Cameron? Is there any wonder why everyone in Hollywood hates this guy? (May the film gods one day force Cameron to direct a comedy with that other most hated guy in Hollywood, Vince Vaughn.)

The night’s first UPSET! Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner were expected to win for Up in the Air. But maybe the Academy voters were turned off by scuttlebutt of warring behind-the-scenes between Jason and Sheldon over who wrote what and when. In any case, Geoffrey Fletcher is truly moved. “I’m sorry I’m drawing a blank right now. But I thank everyone.” A win for diversity in Hollywood. This was a beautifully written screenplay, no doubt about it.

First funny line of the night when Steve Martin quipped, “I wrote that speech for him.”

Honorary award recipients Roger Corman and Lauren Bacall are applauded. John Calley wasn’t able to be there because he’s quite ill, I’ve learned. There’s already been an Academy’ Board Of Governors’ rubber chicken dinner for them.

Robin Williams, it’s all on your shoulders now. Nope, he wasn’t even amusing. What the hell do we have to do to get some entertainment at the Academy Awards? BRING BACK THE GAYEST OSCARS! Straight white guys just aren’t funny anymore.

Performance By An Actress In A Supporting RoleMo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Lionsgate)

This was without a doubt the biggest and longest lock of the Oscars. She thanked the Academy for “showing that it can be about the performance and not about the politics”. I loved the fact she thanked Hattie McDaniel “for enduring all that you had to so I wouldn’t have to”.

A top Hollywood publicist just called me. “Say how terrible the directing is! It’s awful!” How can you tell because, to me, the whole damn show is a train wreck tonight. WORST OSCARS EVER!

“I already have 2 of these. So I’m feeling greedy,” Sandy Powell said. She dedicated this 3rd Oscar to the costume designers who “don’t do movies about dead monarchs or glittery musicals”, who work on contemporary films and low-budget films “who don’t get as recognized and should do because they work just as hard. So this is for you. But I’m going to take it home tonight.”

Oh nooooooooo. Filmed shtick for Martina and Baldwin? They waste precious minutes on THIS? Remember, there was no time to have the singers warble their songs. For this. Those are tonight’s priorities.

Academy president Tom Sherak vowed he’d have Twilight Saga shit on the show somehow. So here’s a tribute to the “horror genre”. Earth to Tom: Twilight isn’t a horror flick. It’s about terminally depressed teens with deeply repressed sexual appetites. Like duh! (And would Kristen Stewart’s agent please send her to a remedial reading course? Before the next awards season?)

Wow, I thought Avatar would sweep these professional creative awards. Another 2 upsets…

Why is Elizabeth Banks yelling at the top of her lungs? Does she think shouting is funny? She looks like an amateur at a bad high school production of Charlie’s Aunt…

Now I see why people are complaining about tonight’s direction. Either the control room missed the mark on its John Travolta closeup. Or else he had a guarantee that the camera wouldn’t show his triple chin. In any case, that was just plain weird.

I just found time to approve some comments. I missed the sour puss on George Clooney — but you sure didn’t! How would you feel having to sit through this borefest when you haven’t a prayer of winning? Amazing he hasn’t slipped out by now and short-sheeted Brad Pitt.

Wait, I forgot Best Cinematography.

Achievement In Cinematography
“Avatar” (20th Century Fox) Mauro Fiore

Demi Moore, the living commercial for full body plastic surgery, comes out. Am I the only one who finds it hysterical that she’s introducing the “In Memoriam” section of the Oscars marking the 2009 passing of showbiz insiders? Because they’re gone, but parts of Demi will live on forever.

To those who think I’m way too nasty: believe me when I tell you that Hollywood hates the Academy Awards. No one in that audience wants to be there except the seat-fillers. I’m just reflecting the sensibility of the people I cover. And if you don’t like that explanation, then remember this: nobody put a gun to your head to read me.

JLo’s dress has to be the ugliest style and color, surpassed only by her high school updo. Why didn’t her reps tell her that to recapture the youth market and land another record label (Sony just dropped her, as I scooped recently), she’s got to stop parading around like a prom queen?

This dumbass dance number replaced having singers warble their songs. Blame Adam Shankman, who’s a choreographer and judge on So You Think You Can Dance. Please, don’t let him or Bill Mechanic EVER produce the Oscars again. The ghost of Alan Carr would have been better. But the best quip is from my commenter who posted, “Something that was left over from the Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony?”

Wait a minute: did someone switch the channel so I’m watching old footage of The Ed Sullivan Show which PBS has been airing of late?

Achievement In Music Written For Motion Pictures (Original Score)“Up” (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino

He gave one of tonight’s better speeches. “Listen to me. If you want to be creative, get out there and do it. It’s not a waste of time.”

I get it: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper present Visual Effects because they’re tonight’s eye candy. So the idiot who’s directing didn’t even bother to linger on their fine faces.

Here’s how you determine who’ll win Best Documentary: the environmental pic wins unless there’s a Holocaust contender. Cynical but true.

Tyler Perry: “They just said my name at the Oscars. I’d better enjoy it because it’ll probably never happen again.” He sure got that right since he specializes in racial sterotypes. And he’s a union-buster. Can you tell I really dislike this guy? Get this guy off the stage now!

OK, that visual gag of Alec and Steve in the whatchamacallit was funny.

Bob Murawski thanked the Academy for giving the award “to a movie that was made without compromise. We didn’t have any preview screenings, or focus groups or studio notes. Everybody just made the movie we wanted to make, and it turned out great. So I’m glad everybody liked it.”

I just realized that Keanu Reeve has been in the Witness Protection Program. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve seen one of his films.

Interesting pairing of Pedro Almodovar and Quentin Tarantino. Well, it would have been had they been given something more amusing to say. Or been allowed to wing it.

Best Foreign Language Film Of The Year
Argentina – “El Secreto de Sus Ojos”
A Haddock Films Production (Sony Pictures Classics)

A big upset considering both A Prophet and The White Ribbon were such overwhelming favorites going into tonight. Oh look, the winner made a lame Avatar joke by thanking the Academy for “not considering Nav’i a foreign language”. He wasted his time at the podium for that?

TOLDJA! Again, Deadline|New York editor Mike Fleming told readers that the show would feature a group of former Oscar-winners with special connections to the Best Actor and Actress nominees. What Mike didn’t reveal was that these segments would be so labored and just plain lame. Horrible idea. And what a time suck. Oh, but Mechanic and Shankman thought they were being so very clever by doing this. Please don’t let them produce the Oscars again — ever!

Ohmygawd, this gushfest just keeps dragging on and on and on…

These will be spoofed tomorrow by all the late night shows.

Performance By An Actor In A Leading Role
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart” (Fox Searchlight)

He’s been the sentimental favorite as well as shoo-in for the entire awards season. “Thank you, Mom and Dad, for turning me onto such a groovy profession… This is honoring them as much as honoring me.” Fortunately, Jeff Bridges introduced some authenticity into a telecast sorely lacking in it. But, really, did he need to thank his manager and his agent and his lawyer all at the same time?

Is it over yet? Please, let it be over soon. I want my life back.

I really thought these Oscars were going to be better. I was wrong. The only viewers left watching are hardcore gamblers who have money riding on Avatar or The Hurt Locker.

Oh no, they’re gushing again — this time about Best Actress. Make them stop. My skin is crawling.

Readers, you must look at the comments coming in. Far funnier than I could ever be. Kudos.

Performance By An Actress In A Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side” (Warner Bros)

Even though this was expected, she does look stunned. “Did I really earn this? Or did I just wear you all down?” You’re right, Sandy, you campaigned long and hard and well. And Academy voters always appreciate that. Nice touch with thanking “the Moms who take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from.

It’s Babs noting that the winner of Best Director “could be, for the first time, a woman. Or an African-American”… Or the usual white dudes.

“Well, the time has come,” said Babs. Did the Academy have her present this because they were so sure Kathryn Bigelow would take it home? Bigelow does look gobsmacked. “There’s no other way to describe it. It’s the moment of a lifetime.” I love the way she’s grabbing that Oscar with all the strength she can muster — almost as if her ex, Jim Cameron, is going to grab it away from her. She also noted: “I’d just like to dedicate this to the women and men in the military who risk their lives on a daily basis in Iraq and Afganistan and around the world. May they come home safe.”

My commenters noticed a lot more than I did. “Did they really just play “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar” after Bigelow’s acceptance speech? Patronizing douchebags.” Another said, “Is that what’s passing for clever these days? Just a horrible production and direction job all around. [Their] next gig is the 11:00 news in West Buttfuck.”

Tom Hanks keep running for the Mayor Of Hollywood. I can’t believe he’s showed up for yet another Academy Awards where he’s not nominated.

How’s that hopey and changey thing at the Oscars work for you tonight? Didn’t you find the telecast so much more riveting now that 10 Best Picture nominations were included? I didn’t. Instead, the Academy merely cheapened all the Oscar nods in this desperate bid for ratings.

“To be standing here, this was really, truly, honestly never part of anything we had ever even imagined in our wildest dreams,” exclaimed Mark Boal.

So David slew Goliath. Or, to put it another way, Academy voters rewarded a tiny film that made no money just because almost everyone in Hollywood really dislikes James Cameron. This shows how out of touch the Oscars are with moviegoers around the world, who loved Avatar. But what can you expect from a bunch of mostly geriatrics who decide on the Best Picture by watching them on small screens instead of in the movie theater. Most of the 5,000+ voters only saw Avatar in 2D. So, of course, The Hurt Locker played better. And people wonder why I have nothing but contempt for the Academy?

Oh, and remember that the Academy wouldn’t even let Nicolas Chartier who financed Hurt Locker (or his mother who flew in from France) attend the show tonight because he mass-emailed members and supposedly broke the campaigning rules — even though he never even mentioned Avatar by name. That guy has to celebrate at a private party in Malibu tonight away from all the Industry accolades he so richly deserves. And people still wonder why I have nothing but contempt for the Academy?

At least one of the producers, Greg Shapiro, singled out Chartier for praise (amid the audience’s very half-hearted applause): “We have to thank our intrepid financier and fellow producer Nicolas Chartier who bet on this movie when no one else would.” And it was such a Hollywood moment when CAA was thanked before the pic’s distributor Summit Entertainment.

What an inappropriate moment when Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin tried to take away Bigelow’s 2 Oscars at the very end. Martin ends the show by saying: “Ladies and gentlemen, the show is so long that Avatar now takes place in the past.” And we now get our lives back. Until next year when we’re held hostage by this effing broadcast all over again.

657 Comments

Micoos • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I CAN’T WAIT! HURRY UP!!!

John Smithie • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I love that you hold people accountable and call it like it is, AND yours is the only news source I trust on the business…but I’m not with ya on the amount of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin bashing…makes you sound like you hate men..no gun to my head to read, but I endure it to get to the meat of what you report. Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner may have fans but will they have the longevity or depth of the two you are spitting venom at? Sometimes you’re right on point and then sometimes it sounds like vitrol in you waiting for a target and too trigger-happy to wait for a worthy one. Just my take.

Cinnie • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I agree. I had just called my sister to see if she was watching this nightmare of a production when I found this blog that was like reading my mind.

Cinnie • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

And was I the only one who thought the dance sequence was supposed to be a joke? The big guy out front had me going.

Step 1. Get rid of 10 Best Picture nominees.
It’s obvious to the viewer that certain movies were added to the telecast to increase the ratings. People aren’t stupid. More importantly, the entire show isn’t devoted to the Best Picture nominees (even though the producers tried to make it appear that way), so 10 Best Pictures nominees can’t keep the attention of the audience if the rest of the show is really boring.

Step 2. Bring back the song and dance.
Bring back the spectacle. People want to see singing and dancing and stand-up comedy and tears of joy over winning, not talking. Simply put, hire MAJOR recording artists to sing every song in the Best Song category, and hire the most AMAZING dancers to dance to every Original Score (and they don’t need to be break dancers).

Step 3. Stop thanking your agents, lawyers, managers and producers.
I know it’s good form, but the viewers don’t know who these people are (and they could care less). People want to hear about WHY an actor took a role, or WHAT a movie meant to the director. Get personal and less professional. Somebody needs to start crying.

Step 4. Get young hosts and presenters.
I love Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, but they’re old. People still love the movies, it’s a favorite American pastime. But if you only show the hottest new young stars for a few seconds during the show, that’s not enough for the non-CBS crowd to care. Find a young star that’s actually talented enough to carry a show and give him/her a job.

Step 5. Move the professional awards off the telecast.
God love the Editors, Sound Mixers, Art Direction and Makeup, but frankly, the viewers don’t give a damn. Truthfully, they don’t even care about the Best Writers, Documentary Filmmakers and Short Filmmakers, but at least in those categories people get introduced to films they’ve never heard of but might want to see. I say move every award that doesn’t have huge visual impact on the show to the Technical Awards portion of the Oscars. Pay tribute to them on the telecast and move on.

Step 6. Require that everyone prepare a speech.
Sounds dumb (because some of these people know they’re not going to win) but if everyone is required to prepare a speech, at least they’ll know what they’re going to say. A prepared speech doesn’t diminish improvisation, so acceptance speeches will still be interesting, but shorter.

Step 7. Pre-record tributes
Don’t have actors come on live to honor their co-stars because a) they take too long to say what they need to say – even if it is scripted and b) most of these actor can’t perform live, they do much better in front of a camera, with multiple takes and good editing. It’s polished and short.

Step 8. Speaking of short, cut the show down to 90 minutes.
I think I speak for everyone when I say the show is just too long. Get to the point already. If you’re not going to get to the point, at least entertain us with some Cirque Du Soliel like stunts, singing, dancing and great comedy.

Step 9. Finally, hire a solid director.
I don’t know what it takes to direct a show like the Oscars, but I (along with everyone else) can tell when something just ain’t right. There were a bunch of weird angles, people weren’t even in the shot, there was even a man who walked in front of one of the cameras. Someone needs some serious lessons on how to direct a live show. Overall, I think people need to stop hiring their friends to do the job and start hiring serious professionals.

Feel free to add to this list anyone…

cookmeyer1970 • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

some good ideas here, but I completely disagree with getting rid of the awards like sound mixing. Sound is a huge part of what makes a film successful, and too bad if the folks at home don’t want to be exposed to that aspect of moviemaking. It would be wrong to act like it’s not part of a film’s successful execution. To just focus on stars is a slap in the face of the other professionals who work their asses off to excel to the highest level– they deserve to walk the red carpet and get their award too. although like I said, many of the other things you listed could really improve the show.

cookmeyer1970 – I agree w/ you 100%. I wasn’t recommending they completely remove things like Sound Mixing, etc. I was simply saying that they should move it to the technical awards portion of the show – if they want to increase ratings that is. Then perhaps they can re-introduce the technical parts of filmmaking back into the show itself with little visual tidbits. It’s like feeding a kid vegetables. Kids don’t like plain vegetables (though they’re actually good for them), but if you cover the veggies with something sweet, they’ll gobble them up. I think the Oscars should first and foremost entertain the audience, and then educate them about the filmmaking process, if it’s supposed to be “a show.” I especially like what they did this year w/ the Sound Editing and Sound Mixing categories. They showed the professionals at work and they showed Before and After shots, which really seemed to “educate” people at the party I went to. Moviegoers don’t know how hard the people behind the scenes actually work (most people exit the theater during the long credit sequences at the end of movies) – but it’s important for them to find out. From a viewer’s standpoint, to be honest, the Oscars seem like such an insiders/private party, it begs the question, “Why am I watching this?”

Reality • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

“to just focus on stars is a slap in the face of the other professionals ”

Movie stars are why people tune in. No one at home cares about “Best Sound”. It’s a nerd trophy, give it out earlier in the program before airtime.

We don’t want to see “song and dance” either. Save that crap for the Tonys, where it belongs.

David • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Better would be to take it off tv altogether except for the red carpet up to the very private, peers only,
awards ceremony.

SimAlex2000 • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I agree +1000.

Gigi • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I agree with Andre Gaines’ suggestions except the comment about “old” presenters. That’s ageism, my friend, and it’s offensive. Some of the young actors didn’t seem to even know what was going on. A good show will have a good mix in order to appeal to a wide audience. And personally, I kind of liked that the show seemed more normal, rather than leaning heavily gay. Sorry. But we in the heartland just don’t appreciate having that stuff shoved in our faces, along with a lot of angry political preaching. Last night I watched for the first time in over 10 years because Sandra Bullock was nominated. The same was true for most of my family and friends. However, if anyone had said anything off-color or political I would have changed channels. I just don’t have any patience for that kind of nonsense any more. It’s not entertaining to me. People in the industry seem to forget that the show is being televised to an audience that’s very different from them. If they want good ratings, they’re going to have to start caring about their audiences again.

Dls • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Did anyone else notice how horrible the directing was tonight? What the heck happened?

Don't Hate • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

What’s with all the ‘white man’ hate, Nikki?

You celebrate diversity in other posts, but slam the ‘man’ whenever you get a chance.

It’s a bad habit, hypocritical and truly offensive (believe it or not) and takes away from what it otherwise a great blog.

Just be nice.

Please.

clark • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

bitter much?

RayO • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

The easiest way to be entertaining or funny is to do nothing but criticize.
And this still wasn’t the least bit clever or funny.

CHPLANET • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I stopped watching this show years ago because I get all of the info I need in blogs like this!! Nice job..can next years show be a web cast? I can’t believe Desperate Housewives was replaced with this trash.

Anonymous • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

And you think a show about horny and sexually deprived, middle aged women sleeping around and making present day suburbia look like a swing town-inspired porno movie should take the place of recognizing talent and achievement in the art of cinematography? I’m proud to say that I don’t see a Desperate Housewives movie in the works anytime soon…

Anne Hoffman • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Who thought it would be smart to muffle audience applause to hear only the elevator music during the telecast? It played weird. Are you kidding about moving white staircases and long dresses? Really? I had hopes for Baldwin and Martin after seeing a few commercials, but they were just flat. The bedroom scene before the “horror tribute” was stupid. Many are not horror films at all. Ridiculous. Couldn’t there be a special award for Gabby? They’ve successfully and completely ruined the Oscars for me.

Alex • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I’m not completely sure why Miss Sidibe should get a special award; SHE seemed to appreciate just being nominated in the same category as actresses who have been working for many, many years. (Are you her agent?) And I appreciate that not everyone gets a chance to see every movie, but the “bedroom scene before the ‘horror tribute'” was a parody of “Paranormal Activity,” an extremely successful low budget horror flick from 2009.

Felicia Ritz • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

no wonder Barbara WaWa said “she has had enough.” your comments did make me laugh!!!

rpb • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

To quote Conan “…do not be cynical. I hate cynicism – for the record it’s my least favorite quality, it doesn’t lead anywhere.”

KevKing • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I think he was making all that up.

stephanie • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

looks like you’re on the wrong site.

Flack • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Can’t wait. It will be more entertaining than any other coverage, that’s for sure.

Evil Cheneyvil • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

They should rename it the Golden Calf Awards.

Jackie Venice • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

YAY!!! I love awards live snarking. It’s usually better than the show.

Jackie Venice • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

And Nikki’s blogging DID PROVE to be more entertaining than the show.

GS • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

No Oscars, so I guess I’ll be watching here. Thanks to ABC and Cablevision. I guess Cablevision owns NBC now, so they’re already pulling competitors off their wires.

JW • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Just to be clear, its Comcast that’s acquiring NBCuniveral, NOT Cablevision.

Snarkville, I took GS’s comment about Cablevision/NBC to be a joke, not statement made in ignorance. Lighten up, or move out of snarkville.

ok. • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

“Moron”? Comcast doesn’t own NBCU yet.

B Woody • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Does anyone even watch the Oscars anymore? Someone forgot to tell Hollywood they aren’t as relevant as they used to be.

Chad • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Kathy Ireland is painful to watch as an interviewer on the red carpet.

ab56 • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

YES! How stiff and weird was she on-camera!

derby • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

any and all pre-oscar shows are like watching hell on earth. e! is probably the worst. but this nonsense on abc i stumbled onto is embarrassing. i wish ‘people’ didn’t care about what designer these idiot actors are wearing. it’s so pointless. just like e! – pointless.

I can’t watch the FUCKING show because ABC has decided to punish 3 million Cablevision subscribers because they can’t solve their monetary dispute with the cable provider. I am dropping Cablevision as I’m sure ABC hopes, but I am also saying NO TO ABC after LOST’S Finale. Fuck a network that punishes people wanting to watch the most viewed live show on Earth. That’s hubris.

Geepa • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Whoopee!!! It’s starting!!!!

Chuncy Monkey • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Wow all that Ham on one stage….amazing.

yzer19man • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

stupid intro

Chuncy Monkey • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Dooogie…whoo hoo…

Oscar! • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Good scoop on NPH. Too bade the lameness that is the Academy Awards Show is rearing its ugly head at the outset.

geepa • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

LET’S PUT ON A SHOW, SPANKY!!

Raven • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Oh my God! Still no deal?!

Gary in Cary NC • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Who will be 1st to blast Pres. Bush in their acceptance speech?

Who will be 1st to adore Barry during their speech?

Comedymaven • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Oh, good. Some RWNJs to challenge Nikki for “Most Bitter Comments of the Night.”

Lethkial • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

Harris=Dweeb

go4it • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I should be watching instead of reading. Go Nikki call it as you see it!

E • on Mar 7, 2010 3:49 pm

I think that Neil Patrick Harris number was in the running for worst ever. Prisoners drop the soap so they won’t have to “do it” alone. Swell.