The SWAT line from Specialized was launched last summer. SWAT stands for storage, water, air, tools, and is Specialized’s buzzword for ditching your hydration pack, bento box, and other unsightly accessories. The SWAT clothing system centers around these bib short liners, regular (non-bib) short liners, and a baselayer — all with pockets, so you don’t have to wear a road jersey over it.

So hydration packs and the like are unsightly, but somehow a form-fitting fanny pack is not?

Of course, law enforcement agencies have been using "SWAT" for years, and it stands for "Special Weapons And Tactics." However, Specialized's lawyers were able to successfully argue that the police can no longer do so, since the acronym contains the word "Special." Therefore, "SWAT" now applies entirely to Specialized's new off-road Barney corset, and law enforcement will have to make do with a revised acronym:

Yes, the third child is now the "status child," where have you been? Furthermore:

“Now children don’t have a lot of utilitarian value anymore,” he said. “Kids are like status symbols, or a very expensive pet or hobby.”

By the way, if you're wondering why so few Americans continue using bicycles as transportation into adulthood, it's because even parents with extra kids won't let their offspring ride a three-wheeled plastic scooter on the sidewalk at walking speed without strapping a foam dunce cap to their heads first.

I guarantee you that in ten years full-grown human adults will be wearing helments just to pull their wheeled suitcases through the airport terminal.

Which is a complete load of crap, because everybody knows this is what Americans will look like in 2050:

By the way, that's the "status child." They already ate the first two.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right wet your pants slightly with excitement, and if you're wrong you'll see grace.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and may all your status children be delicious.

LA was actually innovative, back in the day. The civil engineering that Mulholland designed and oversaw to get fresh water to LA is pretty amazing (although the decision by others to undertake this effort could be questioned).

MiniBrake CEO: "With the help of this device, cycling will be fun without any worrys [sic] and without a risk of possible accident."

I'm guessing they don't have a lawyer "on-board" yet. Sheesh. They just grabbed themselves a bakefiets full of liability.

Healemenettes are driving me crazy. So is the yearly Festival of the Shoaling o'th'Noobs but that's another story. I just want to tell America: The obsession with safety isn't making you more safe, just more tame. Grow some balls or some uterine fibroids.

By 2050 yeah blow me, what's that, like 36 years from now? Yeah remember how everybody in 1978 was like totally so genetically different and weird-looking compared to today? Meh. On the other hand, by 2500 AD, Americans will be dark-skinned, look slightly Asian-ish, and be wearing hides, i.e. just like before the whites came and briefly fucked things up.

LA is indeed a great case study for all sorts of civil engineering feats JB. The water project you speak of did in fact make LA (a desert) "livable" except you know like literally. It was selling their soul to the automobile (and some of those projects were no less ingenious) that made it the sprawling dystopia it is today.

billy crashes his road bikeNope. Always stay centered unless you ride fixed gear and need to keep that pedal off the ground. The forces will be better balanced, your stability throughout the turn will be much better and the distribution of traction will be more even. It also puts less strain on the bike as there will be no bending loads. Front to back, with no braking most of your weight should be put on the bottom bracket. I think Sheldon Brown should have an article on that.﻿

Ok, for sure, entertainment production has left the city. No question about that. But the entertainment business is still huge and tech sector is growing.

a committee of lawyers, developers, labor leaders and former elected officials who make up something of the Old Guard here.

It's another union-busting rant by the 1% that have run the city for a couple of generations now. They are unhappy they don't get dedicated lanes for themselves to speed effortlessly from downtown to the sea. I tell you this mass transit business is communism!

I figure that in the future we'll all be running around in the rain in LA and speaking a funny slang language like BLADE RUNNER...I designed your eyes...watch the director's wife take pleasure from the snake....if i could afford a real snake would i be working in a place like this...christ deckar, you look worse than that skin job on the sidewalk...good evening jr..did you ever take that voigt-compt test yourself...to bad she can't live...but who does...all these memories will be lost, like tears in a rainfall

When your kid goes over the handlebars because a twitchy parent unexpectedly pushes the button on the MiniBrake, Then what? I guess they should bundle them with the air bag helmet. This kid will reach his dork quota by age 8 and never have sex until age 42.

Geez - just what we need - something to make the average cyclist more dorky looking than he already is. Remember aero bars for weekend riders? Remember those horrible flags on the back of the bike so you wouldn't be run over? Remember all the stupid idiotic bike fades over the ages (crabon) that were designed to separate a cyclist from his money? Specialized should be ashamed.

In LA not long ago and the traffic didn't move. Just like it didn't move the time I was there before that. Tired of gridlock? Think a bike is an alternative? Think again, you'll be deader than a door nail in no time the way frustrated drivers drive out there. Oh yeah, and the smog looks like a fog bank.

Because I'm a complete fucking idiot who's blabbering on the phone instead of watching my child, he's going to get hit by a car.But wait! With Minibrake, I can avert impending disaster without even dropping my call! Thank you, Minibrake!In sixty years on this planet I've seen some amazingly lame shit, but this....

That Peter Sagan is pretty crafty, coming up with the mini brake. Still, does anyone really believe it's for children's bikes? Should make for some interesting sprint finishes. See if you can spot it on his competitor's bikes. His English is really improving too.

While it is usually ridiculous to helment a child on a scooter, have you seen how fast those euro "micro" scooters can go? The kid in the nyt is on one and they can definitely outrun even a young fast footed parent.

If my first two children couldn't break the stoopid Minibrake then I'd slap them up the side of the head. But my status child I'd never slap as I always want him looking his best. He's already been accepted into Harvard doncha know?

Y'es I got all the answers right on the quiz ! I guess that is the double shot flavored gel on top of listening to ebm-radio.de & cumming twice (in a five minute span) while watching Caleb Moreton( can't a girl love hung gay men,yES THEY CAN)!!!. I am such a lucky ducky

Anon @ 6:35. You're sort of weird, even for this crowd. Your play on words doesn't really work that well at all though one can discern how you're trying to be witty. Just think, what would Jesus post. I'll pray for you.

Well I read the whole article and i must say it was really very well detailed and explained in easy way. Business is without a doubt a very interesting and profitable field at times but there are alot of things we should look into before starting the new business. I am very impressed the way you have elaborated the important things that people should know before jumping into this great field. keep up the good work and keep sharing :)

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!