Most things in life go up and down. For example, my
weight. For example, the share price of Rentishams.
For
example, a person's disposable income.

All of these can be displayed on a graph. And what, I
hear
you ask, is the point of that? None! - I answer. A graph
is
a graph is
a graph.

Meanwhile, the topography of the Earth is being mapped
with increasing resolution. Clever reconstruction from
multiple photos can reveal the topography of any region
with stuning precision.

What is needed, therefore, is an App.

MaxCo.'s latest and first venture into the world of Apps,
therefore, is our Topography Matcher (we are thinking of
coming up with a cooler name).

Simply feed your graph data into Topography Matcher,
and
the software will scan the mapped surface of the Earth
to
find a segment whose topography exactly matches your
data.

Rather than a mundane chart of cod stocks from 1951-
98,
you can proudly display the north-east approach of Mont
Blanc, identified as having the same peaks and troughs.

Rather than a dull graph of your personal wealth over
the
last three decades, you can instead display a
topographically identical section of either East Anglia or
Nepal, depending on your fortunes.

Those who believe in the fundamental
interconnectedness
of all things (of whom I am not one; but I am happy to
take
from money from those who do) can go even further. If
your sales over the last five years are a perfect match
for
a cross-section through Pokaho County, Nebraska, you
can
confidently extend the line on the map to make
projections over the coming years.

//Rentishams shares never, I say never, decrease in
value.// Well said, well said! However, they did
wobble slightly at the time of the infamous "Bad
Candelilla Wax Incident".

Fopp, you may recall, were not slow to capitalise on
Rentisham's misfortune. However, it was never
proven that Fopp was in any way responsible for
bribing the Candelilla supplier to adulterate the
supplies destined for Rentishams.

Is there any connection between this and the fact that Rentisham's have never in their history paid out an Ordinary Share dividend on the millions of issued capital, but only on the Special Preference Voting Shares, of which curiously all three happen to be owned by members of the Buchanan family ?

No, I shouldn't think so. Interesting, though - I'd
never looked at it that way. I shall have to raise the
matter with Sturton and the intercalary as soon as
they return. (Sturton is currently in Penge
investigating claims of a previously unrecorded
species of vole which lives only in wine cellars; the
intercalary is doing community service on Roast Beef
Island - a condition of his bail.)