Florida’s Biggest Problem Is That It Doesn’t Have A Poet Laureate, Suggests Humorous Fellow

Florida, the sinkhole-thriving wasteland which has spawned its very own Twitter handle "Florida Man" could really just use a state poet laureate, a painfully earnest op-ed columnist has suggested.

David Axelrod — no, not thatDavid Alexrod, thisDavid Axelrod — penned a piece in the Daytona Beach News-Journal about a bill working its way through the Florida state legislature to appoint a statewide poet laureate in April, National Poetry Month, to begin a four-year term on June 1, 2013. Poet Laureate is an unpaid position which is fully funded by private donors.

And then he gets funny:

"[A]s one who served as a county poet laureate (Suffolk, Long Island, New York, 2007-2009), I was a bit stunned that people actually would oppose such a post. Poetry and the arts have been my faithful companions throughout my life. I had forgotten that some people might say they were opposed to having a poet laureate. … I’ve heard folks ask, "Why would we spend any time passing laws to promote poetry? We need more jobs!" (Or, more cops; or more scientists; or pick a "more" you think we need.)"

Really, my good sir? You’re a bit stunned that Florida might be opposed to the arts? The state the brought us gator-wrestling and sinkholes and Police Women Of Broward County and that terrible couple in The Queen Of Versailles? Really?!

Shockingly (to me, at least), Florida did have a poet laureate once. For 32 years! His name was Ed Skelllings and passed away last year.