10. RON ZOOK. Maybe if he says 100 more times that this year’s Fighting Illini were better than the previous season’s Rose Bowl squad, the BCS folks will put his team in the mythical championship game.

9. BILL DEWITT III. While the Cubs and Brewers armed for the stretch run, the Cardinals’ president was content to let his club fire blanks, undermining a gallant effort by Tony La Russa’s charges.

8. CRANE KENNEY. For months, Lou Piniella and the Cubs’ players told the world there were no curses. Then, hours before the playoffs, the team chairman hired a priest to sprinkle holy water at Wrigley Field. After that, the Cubs had no prayer.

7. UNDERACHIEVING BEARS. Time for more pay raises and contract extensions, fellas!

6. MATT MILLEN. Well, at least he left the Lions’ cupboard stocked with stars.

5. ISIAH THOMAS. Lost lots of games, lost his job as Knicks coach and reportedly almost lost his life after overdosing on sleeping pills. Ah, but nobody ever can take away his role in Eddy Curry’s development.

4. JOHN PAXSON. The lucky ping-pong ball that delivered Derrick Rose bought the Bulls GM some time, but the clock is ticking on the guy who considered Viktor Khryapa a good idea.

3. CHARLIE WEIS. The 2007 Turkey winner made a nice run at repeating. And people say Notre Dame isn’t a consistent contender.

2. KELVIN SAMPSON. A cheater of epic proportions - and not even a very good one. Indiana will be digging out from his manure pile for years.

And now, the 2008 Turkeys of the Year ...

THE CHOKING CUBBIES.

C is for Century, that's one hundred years ... of flailing and failing and torment and tears.

H is for Hitters who grind to a halt. Still, Rammie and Fonz say it isn't their fault.

O is for October, a month of pure grief. A bit of “good” news: Their stay’s always brief.

K is for Kosuke, who arrived at great cost. Needs GPS 'cause he's completely lost.

E is for Errors; one game they made four. It's also for Emptiness, and Excuses galore.

R is for Righties: Demp, Rich and Cra-Z. Big winners all season but then oh-for-3.

S is for Sweet Lou; the skipper’s no dunce. Though it looks pretty bad when he can't win even once.

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