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My world was rocked...

I have not posted in a while. It just hasn't been important over the past month. I haven't done any real planned lessons with my boys. I am not on "schedule" of where I wanted to be. Life hit me upside the headand rocked my world. My baby was diagnosed with a rare disease called Langerhans Cell Histiocytosis. Ever hear of it? Probably not, I didn't. It's a quasi cancer/ inflammatory disease. It is super rare, and not much is known about it. But it is treated like cancer. It's scary, and each day I battle to not be scared.

This trial has really brought me to my kneeswhere I need to be. It has shown me, that in my weakest momentsmy God is magnified. It is amazing. I don't want to be strong, and I'm not. Each moment, I am relying on strength from Jesus to get through the day. To be able to answer questions my older boys throw at me. To answer them honestly, even when I cannot give them a definite answer or an answer they want to hear.

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Nothing is harder then to see your child hurting, in pain and scared. And you can't fix it. At some point, each of my boys have had nightmares, waking me up in the middle of the night asking if Joseph is going to die. Or asking me if Jesus will fix him. How can I comfort them? What is the best way? Other then to pray with them and ask our Lord to take away our fear and remember how much Jesus loves us. We need to believe and have hope in that, no matter the circumstances.

Today is my first post about what is going on, because today I see a real change in Joseph. He had his second chemo treatment. The mass that was the size of a walnut on his mastoid bone is virtually gone now. He doesn't seem to be in much pain anymore. He is having some equilibrium problems, but those are getting better each day as well. I feel like we are establishing a routineand we are finding a new normal.

Our summer plans have shiftedmy baby got sick, real sick. And we had my dad and sister come from the mainland to help with my older boys while the baby was having a bunch of tests done. We had great friends keep our boys for days and nights while I was in the hospital and Solomon had to work while the doctors we're trying to figure out what is wrong with Joseph in the beginning of the month. We have been blessed by so many people, it's overwhelming when I think about it. Prayer warriors have been praying for little Joe, donations have been offered up to help with some of the medical costs, and so many families have brought us dinner. I see how God's hand is at work. I see it playing out. I can see how HE is being glorified through all our trials and tribulationsand that gives me the strength to smile and be ready for a new day.

Tomorrow we start some type of organized lessons. My 3 other kids have actually asked when we are starting school again. Since they are asking tomorrow we will crack open the books again. We are still on a light schedule which I will keep throughout the rest of summer before we add other subjects. We are trying a modified "unschooling" type of homeschoolbut I also need some structure. So do they. So, we are exploring more about learning random things and explorebut will forge ahead with math, spelling, grammar, history, bible and science. Just at a more slower pace then I originally thought.

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