Styled Out: Is wearing white at your wedding right?

I’ve been completely bombarded by impending nuptials this past week. What with all the rumors swirling around that Samantha and Lindsay have decided to tie the knot (does anyone have factual confirmation on this?) and my girlfriend’s sister announcing her engagement, there’s been a lot of talk about what to wear and when.

Weddings are meant to be personalized and special to the couple committing but it’s easy to make everyone involved highly uncomfortable simply based on what we’re expected to put on the day of the ceremony. As the civil right for all to marry is slowly trickling down through the states, we’re finally being taken seriously on our own “big day,” and we’re also dictating the wardrobe. It’s about time.

The spectrum of gender is large and multifaceted. Straight people look at this reality as being limiting when dressing for an occasion, but I look at it as having a lot of different options. Your fag-hag boy BFF could sport a dress coordinated to the rest of your bridal party just as easily as your older sister could.

I feel for my girlfriend, though — she’s going to be expected to wear some strapless number at the very least. This is most definitely outside of her realm of comfort and it’s an absolutely unwavering reality of her sister’s wedding day. Of course, she will do anything to make Danni happy, but I feel like she’s going to stand out even more by being forced to put on something that so clearly makes her feel awkward.

The thing I like about lesbian weddings, in particular, is that both ladies could decide to wear the lace number of their dreams or snappy tuxedos. Either selection wouldn’t even raise an eyebrow at a gay gala; it would merely inspire “oohs” and “ahhs” from our homosexual comrades.

On a refreshing note, my friend Julie stood up in a (straight) wedding over the summer and was encouraged to dress in a suit. She was even given a pair of personalized Converse sneakers as her wedding favor.

There is a certain role-playing stereotype sometimes associated with those that “wear the pants” in a gay relationship (and I’m speaking in the literal sense). That’s wildly unfair. I think it’s so crazy to assume that just because a woman is more comfortable with a zipper in between her legs that she’s playing the role of “butch.”

What’s even funnier is that pants are undoubtedly an accepted and even expected form of dress for a lady in our society, straight or gay. I can’t say the same for a gentleman who feels more himself in a dress. Interesting, right?

There’s this whole stigma surrounding a woman on her wedding day and as much as women have been able to transition and adopt every type of clothing men are able to wear on a daily basis, it’s still taboo and criticized when it’s a formal occasion. I guess it’s a reflection on our country’s obsession with and assumptions about gender. It’s unfortunate too, especially because of the lengths we’ve come as far as breaking away from the solid “butch” and “femme” labels we were once formally defined as. Androgyny is a category our society is acknowledging but not always willing to fully accept.

So what? Ellen wore a suit — it was so stylish. Rosie O’Donnell and her wife wore some horrifying pantsuits on their wedding day. Taste and class far surpass any preconceived ideas about what a woman should or should not be wearing when shining her dancing shoes. It’s who she is, and power lesbian suits are not only acceptable in the financial district — they’re perfect for walking down the aisle.