COLUMN: The ship of the state is sinking

Published: Thursday, February 21, 2013 at 11:16 AM.

Mr. Taxpayer has tried and tried to get the two captains to work together in order to get the leak fixed. The two captains ignore each other and have refused to work together.

Mr. Taxpayer is at his wits end. He cannot earn enough money with his sinking ship to do anything. He is paying oversized crews too much. Captain Democrat and Captain Republican will not talk to each other. Mr. Taxpayer would like to fire both of them and start all over again, but that is not practical.

So the impasse continues. The arguments are so loud that they drown out the sound of the engines. The U.S.S. Ship of State is still afloat, but barely. It’s just barely able to move and it’s sinking lower and lower into the water. Mr. Taxpayer is afraid that the money he has borrowed to carry out Captain Democrat’s remodeling plans will come due, and bankers who are being more and more hostile will take advantage of the situation. A Chinese tugboat is following the Ship of State.

What to do? Does anyone out there have a solution? An answer may not come until the second coming of Christ.

The U.S.S. Ship of State has been afloat for more than 200 years, but it is showing signs of wear and tear. Its owner, Mr. U.S. Taxpayer, has not know what repairs to make and has relied on Captain Democrat and Captain Republican to advise him.

Mr. Taxpayer has two captains because the two give contrary advice. So the ship owner put Captain Democrat at the helm and Captain Republican in the engine room. Surely with two captains, they could help the owner figure out what to do.

Captain Republican reported a substantial leak. Captain Democrat ignored the report. Mr. Taxpayer kept asking for the two captains to tell him what to do and to come up with a business plan to accomplish this. But every time Captain Republican reported that the leak was getting bigger and bigger, Captain Democrat acted like the wind was blowing.

Captain Democrat insisted that Mr. Taxpayer hire a bigger crew and give them all raises. In fact, he did that even though Mr. Taxpayer had to borrow money to do it. But nothing was done about the leak.

When Captain Democrat’s contract renewal time came around, Captain Republican finally got him to admit that there was a leak in the hull. Mr. Taxpayer thought this meant the problem would be solved; so he renewed Captain Democrat’s contract for another four years. But when he called on Captain Democrat to tell him what the plans were, Captain Democrat reported to the owner that the living quarters needed to be remodeled, the engines needed to be replaced with more sophisticated ones, and that meant they needed an even bigger crew and more raises to get the right people.

Therefore the Ship of State is still sailing along. It is sinking deeper and deeper into the water. Captain Republican is still insisting that the leak must be fixed. Captain Democrat is still remodeling the sinking ship and has hired more crew at high wages and is still ignoring the leak.

Mr. Taxpayer has tried and tried to get the two captains to work together in order to get the leak fixed. The two captains ignore each other and have refused to work together.

Mr. Taxpayer is at his wits end. He cannot earn enough money with his sinking ship to do anything. He is paying oversized crews too much. Captain Democrat and Captain Republican will not talk to each other. Mr. Taxpayer would like to fire both of them and start all over again, but that is not practical.

So the impasse continues. The arguments are so loud that they drown out the sound of the engines. The U.S.S. Ship of State is still afloat, but barely. It’s just barely able to move and it’s sinking lower and lower into the water. Mr. Taxpayer is afraid that the money he has borrowed to carry out Captain Democrat’s remodeling plans will come due, and bankers who are being more and more hostile will take advantage of the situation. A Chinese tugboat is following the Ship of State.

What to do? Does anyone out there have a solution? An answer may not come until the second coming of Christ.