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Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Letter to my teenage self

I’ve seen quite a few
bloggers writing letters like this, so I thought I’d give it a try myself. I
must admit writing this made me feel quite sad, and I might have shed a tear or
two. I think it’s just thinking back to how clueless I was about my future and
all the hopes and dreams I had back then. But it’s also quite a nice thing to
do as well; being able to see how things gradually work out and looking at how
far I’ve come. I hope you enjoy reading it.

Me as a bridesmaid

Dearest Jenny,

I decided to write you a letter to reassure you
about your life now and also your future. I know at the moment you are finally
happy after years of feeling like you don’t fit in. You’ve found a fantastic
group of friends, school is going well and you’re starting to plan for your
future career as a doctor. You didn’t deserve to be bullied like you were, and
you need to learn to trust people again because not everyone will be like the
bullies were. There are amazing people out there who will do amazing things in
your life that you never would have expected.

But I need to tell you that things are going to
change a hell of a lot soon. You’re going to get ill, really ill, and your life
will change forever. It will take a very long time to reach a diagnosis, and
even when you have that diagnosis you will never get better from it. But don’t
feel too sad about it. Yes, being ill sucks and you won’t be able to live the
life you had expected, but it will also open a whole world of new
opportunities.

You will be close to losing your life several times
over the next few years and it will be incredibly scary. All I can say is
please keep fighting because things will get better. Think of your family and
fight for them if you can’t fight for yourself. They will become your rock, so
please don’t ever take them for granted because you will come to rely on them a
lot when you become ill.

I know at the moment you have a great group of
friends, but try not to get too attached because being ill will show you who
your real friends are. People you thought were special will let you down, and
you will lose a lot of the people you thought of as friends. It will be hard,
I’m not going to lie, but in years to come things will begin to make more
sense. That won’t stop it from hurting, but it will help you understand why
illness is an important part of your life.

Through your illnesses you will also make some
incredible friends. Take the opportunity to join charities and message boards.
Others will be sceptical, but you will make some of your best friends on the
Internet and will come to realise what a real friend is. These friends will
carry you through some of the most difficult times you will face. Receiving
post will become your lifeline, and you will also get opportunities to meet
these friends in person, so make sure you make the most of the opportunities
you are given.

I know that you are incredibly shy, and if I told
you you’d be in a glossy magazine and on live radio you probably wouldn’t
believe me, but as you grow your confidence in yourself will also grow. People
will tell you that you’re an inspiration to them, which will feel very strange,
but it’s so important that you continue to say yes to opportunities, as it will
help both you and others.

As you go through life over the next few years
things will seem incredibly bleak and there will be a lot of times when giving
up seems like the only option. Please believe me when I say that things will
get better. Perhaps not physically, but mentally you can deal with what happens
to you. Everything happens for a reason, and you might not be able to see the
reason at the time, but one day all will become clear.

You need to look at life as a big adventure.
Sometimes things will be difficult and you’ll feel like you’re struggling to
climb that mountain – turning back and going down the mountain may seem like
the better option. But you need to keep climbing, no matter how difficult it
feels. It will all be worth it when you reach the top and get to experience the
most amazing view.

Take care and be kind to yourself,

Love Your Future Self, age 25

Me age 14

What would you write to your teenage
self? How are things different for you now to what they were when you were a
teen?

4 comments:

Hi Jenny,I thought this was beautifully written and I'm not surprised you shed a tear or two, I don't think id be strong enough to think back to the past and write a letter to my teenage self ! It must have been hard to write this and think back to your life before being ill, hugs. I did however write a letter when I was 21 to open on my 30th birthday that was quite fun to write and i look forward to openeing it in 6 yrs time as i cant remember what i wrote now :) x

Hello and welcome...

to Ramblings of a Jaffa Cat! My name is Jenny, I'm 28 and live in Hampshire. I'm a huge fan of Disney, tea and The Simpsons. I love to talk about fashion, beauty, skincare and also raise awareness of mental and physical health problems. Contact me at jaffacat44@gmail.com