Sach ka saamna : Is everyone really that bad?

"MAMMA, is everyone really that bad?" This question from my son as we watched Sach ka Saamna forced me to face truth of a different kind. I didn’t really know how to answer him, because if participants of the game show are a sample of humanity today, the answer should be yes, we are a bad lot.

As you watch the show, emotions swing between ‘holier-than-thou’ to cringing to disbelieving to embarrassed to outright horrified! A normal-looking woman from an average middle class background, Meena Shah, admits to having cheated vendors, stolen from her inlaws, beaten her husband, having a favourite amongst her kids, having been on undisclosed illicit holidays and to an extra-marital affair! Her shell-shocked daughter belatedly bangs the buzzer when her mom is asked if she loves two men at the same time!

A jovial roly-poly guy, the kind you would trust as a family friend, Bhavin Lakhani, easily admits to having lascivious thoughts regarding his wife’s friends, having friends who have underworld connections, keeping secrets that could blow the top off his marriage, suspecting his wife of infidelity and claiming he would forgive her trespasses on the wrong side of the marital bed! His wife bangs the buzzer when he is asked if he has made out with two prostitutes while married, in a way confirming he has! The host asks him if he has ever paid to get anyone killed. This is the point at which my disillusioned, suspiciously bright-eyed son turned towards me and asked in a scared voice, "Mamma, is everyone really that bad?"

Yes son, I guess. That bad. If your average uncles and aunties, the kind you see and meet everyday, can take away the dreams from your eyes by revealing their true selves, we must be that bad!

The compulsions of the participants — either love of money or recognition, no matter how questionable — seriously challenge our value system. How many of us can bear hurting those we love just to gain money or fame? I refuse to believe that foundations don’t shake and marriages don’t break once a participant has been on the show. It is just not possible! But then that’s a choice participants make.

What bothers me more is what this show is doing to us on the other side of the camera! There is no doubt the show sets into motion a degree of discomfort in bedrooms across the country. Each one of us faces the question that Rajeev Khandelwal shoots to the participant. Each one of us also empathises with the spouse sitting on the edge of the stage. And the degree of discomfort increases with questions that strike closer home, as some of them are bound to do! After all, how many of us can claim not to have done any of the shocking things or having nursed any of the horrific thoughts that participants lay claim to?

The show with its mix of truth and lies, its trial by ordeal, reaches out beyond the television screen to shake up more lives than intended. A friend’s uncle, while watching an episode where a wife admits to having murderous thoughts about her husband, asked his wife, "Have you ever thought of killing me?" Imagine his shock when after a dramatic pause, the hapless spouse replied, "Yes, I have actually…" Unable to control his shocked reaction, the man actually beat her black and blue. Well, at least we don’t blame her for murderous thoughts!

Another man in Greater Noida, after playing a game of Sach ka Saamna with his wife, reportedly hung himself because he couldn’t reconcile to her revelation of an affair before marriage! A colleague’s brother and wife ended up fighting bitterly while watching Sach Ka Saamna after the wife burst out, "All men are bastards!" Reportedly the aggrieved husband protested, "I haven’t so much as ever touched another woman’s hand!" To which pat came the reply, "I’m sure you’ve touched other stuff!"

A cousin fondly asked her husband, "What is the one thing you’d want to change about me?" He held off for some time, then replied, "I want back the woman I married 20 years ago!" So she surmised, there was no one thing, but just about everything about her he wanted changed, leading to a cold war! Guess where her question came from? Straight from Sach ka Saamna!

Facing the truth isn’t all that easy and some truths are best left unsaid. Each one of us has a dark side that is best left hidden from others; revealing our dark secrets can do nothing but cause harm to loved ones. As a young lady puts it succinctly, "There’re skeletons in every cupboard, and we shouldn’t rattle them!" Another adds, "Is there really anyone out there who doesn’t have a dark deed festering somewhere in his heart?"

Another friend protests, "The sin is yours, so why should the purging be public? It will lead to ugly break-ups and distraught households. If you want to confront your truth, do it in the backyard of your own conscience and repent. You’ve been sleeping around, and now you want to cause even more hurt by owning up!"

Some reality gets reflected in art, but horrifyingly some art has a way of insidiously creeping into our lives and making a mockery of reality. And Sach ka Saamna shows every indication of doing so. We are all suddenly afflicted with the compulsion of scratching open unseen wounds.

This is bound to destroy a lot of relationships… simply because more questions will be asked… and more truths served up on a platter! Thankfully, we all have a choice — stop watching or at least stop trying to lift the veils of illusion; believe me, it is sure to backfire miserably…

Author

Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way of looking at life, people and the situations they find themselves in. The blog puts forth practical, feel-good ways of dealing with contemporary chaos, leading to a guilt-free life! O-zone is also the name of her weekly column in the TOI Sunday supplement, Times Life. Vinita also writes the fashion blog in this section - Style Statement

Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way o. . .

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Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way of looking at life, people and the situations they find themselves in. The blog puts forth practical, feel-good ways of dealing with contemporary chaos, leading to a guilt-free life! O-zone is also the name of her weekly column in the TOI Sunday supplement, Times Life. Vinita also writes the fashion blog in this section - Style Statement

Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. The blog O-zone reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way o. . .