The Walking Internet – This person is posting every second of the party to every social media platform they can. They are also giving you a full breakdown on all the newest memes because What The Fox Say? is so five minutes ago.

Sideline DJ – Working in radio, we’ve invariably had one of these people come up to us. They try to seem like they know so much more about what song should have come next, or they’re scoring the transition between songs like an Olympic gymnast’s dismount. These guys think that they’re hyper-obscure indie bands are way cooler.

The Political Pot-Stirrer – This is the person who derives pleasure out of pushing political buttons. Depending on your interest in politics, this conversationalist might not be good for you blood pressure.

Current Event Bandwagoner – This person’s pre-party prep was internet research on water cooler topics. They read up on the latest celebrity death, and you can bet that they stayed up last night to read the latest New York Times Bestseller in case it gets brought up.

The Networker – This person is a walking LinkedIn account. His goal is to introduce himself and talk about careers. Not that they’re interested in your career, more like how you can further theirs.

The One-Upper – Cool story, bro, but mine is better. No matter how off-the-wall, uniquely impossible your story is, this person wants the attention on themselves for having the better, more interesting story.

The Preemptive “I’m Taken” Strikedown – You could just be asking this person to pass the salt, but they want to make sure that everyone knows they are already in a relationship. The not so subtle hints at spouses or significant others weren’t giving that fact away at all.

The “You Don’t Remember My Name” – Admittedly, some of us are bad with names, but it’s horribly uncomfortable to be called out on it.