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Review:

Kira says:Wow, just really, really wow. Your writing astounds me, and I'm being as honest as I know how to be. It is so powerful and so graceful. Each sentence seems to be written with care, and it feels like your sentences turn out the way you want them to. Personally, I feel as though mine rarely do. The dream sequence was chilling and sad and really demonstrated the guilt Lily is dealing with, and I love the conflict between still loving James but seeking comfort in someone who is still alive. You really have the ability to create mood and atmosphere and, though I've said it before, it is the way you portray the characters that is what keeps pulling me in. You do such a nice job of actually making them people with thoughts and emotions that people actually have. Their reactions and movements are so natural and you do a really magnificent job of describing them. You say a lot without overdoing it, which is something I could take lessons on. I collected a few phrases and paragraphs that were my favorite just to share what really stuck in my mind.

Severus stepped out of bed, partly wrapped in the sheet, which fell to the ground as he walked forward. The rowan wand trembled in his right hand. To Lily, he was achingly vulnerable and beautiful and wanted. She released the skeletal stag and stood between Severus and the specter.

“You chose him over me,” said the apparition in James’s disbelieving voice. Before she could say or do anything, the stag’s mouth opened and its curved fangs dripped with sticky white saliva. Bare cloven hooves drove toward her chest.

Severus exhaled a short puff of air through his nose, and even though she refused to look up, Lily knew the expression on his face – a sideways little smile of self-deprecation

The finality in his voice tore a jagged hole in Lily’s heart.

Oh, how it hurt her to see the hieratic masks of sarcasm and detachment drop over his features once more. For just a few hours, she had held the real Severus in her arms, the one she knew when they were young: before James, before Hogwarts, before the artificial divisions of Slytherin and Gryffindor.

And now, by force, Lily was pushing him back into hiding. Why? Because it would be wrong to go on the way she had begun; she couldn’t take advantage of him that way. As much as she already longed to relive the night, the sun crept steadily skyward and time was passing.

Your writing is beautiful and this story really taps into my own emotions as well. Its wonderful, really. Well done, and I wait with anticipation for more.

Author's Response: You are going to make this writer cry! Seriously! Thank you so, so much. I hope to have another chapter up before too long.