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Above The Law is, for the most part, a trash legal-gossip blog with the funniest, nastiest bunch of commenters anywhere. I read the comments it every business day.

But whatever you do, be careful if you read it for the blog posts, especially if you just got out of law school and need help getting your career started.

Here’s Exhibit A, from “Shannon Achimalbe” (a pseudonym):

Men entertain themselves in all kinds of silly and destructive ways. But there is something to be said about [sic] going to strip clubs. I used to think that the women who worked there were the lowest of the low and gave the feminist movement a bad name. But now, I realize that many veteran strippers are masterful saleswomen who know how to market themselves to their clients.

Strippers are taught to use certain techniques to grab their clients’ attention and to get their money. Some of these techniques can apply to the legal profession.

See, the reason some young lawyers are unsuccessful is that they don’t spend enough time at the strip clubs, studying how to “market.” Here’s why a successful lawyer is a lot like a stripper:

Experienced strippers have met many types of people and know how to take advantage of them. Some men are lonely because they don’t have a girlfriend. Or they are upset with their current one. Or they may be heartbroken after a breakup. Strippers will exploit their emotional vulnerability by using specific pitches designed to coddle and comfort while leaving them longing for more – for a price.

Lawyers should also understand the potential client’s mindset. . . .

Apparently, “Shannon” needs to brush up on her Professional Responsibility. “Shannon,” the practice of law is about serving your client and looking out for his interests. Not about taking advantage of his vulnerability so you can roll him like a drunk john.

Compare jurisdictions: Employment & Labor: International

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