‘Big Love:’ ‘Froot Loops time,’ indeed

Lots of scheming this week, including Joey’s foiled attempt to once again avenge Kathy by taking a life, whatever the heck J.J. is up to, and Margene’s effort to preserve the family (and, more importantly, her business) by marrying Anna’s fiance. And, alas, we saw the last of Don Dona, a breath of flamboyant fresh air who will be sorely missed.

Let’s start in Mexico. Bill and Joey headed there to rescue their folks and Ben, who were being held captive by those oh-so-creepy Greens. As Hollis (and, really, virtually anyone else) saw it, Lois was screwing him out of his rightful due by cutting him out of the bird bidness and dealing directly with Don Dona, who was shot pretty early on. (Imagine what would have happened if he’d known Frank was also smuggling weapons.) Hollis decided to try them for their crimes (a decree that Lois disparaged as “Froot Loops time”), though the end result — execution — was a foregone conclusion. And they were, of course, found guilty and sentenced to death, though Ben was able to negotiate a stay by asking to appeal. They got an hour, during which Lois opened her heart and apologized to everybody, and Frank owned up to his role in Bill’s banishment from the compound. (Roman had threatened to take everything from him and re-assign his wives, including Lois, if he didn’t.)

Then Bill — working with information that ever-resourceful Jodean had gleaned from going undercover amongst the wives, a side mission she wisely didn’t tell Bill or Joey about — showed up and rounded them up. They might have gotten away, since everyone on the compound was busy celebrating Selma’s virtually unexplained homecoming, but Joey — who seems to have gotten a taste for blood vengeance and planned to off Hollis in Kathy’s name — turned up waving a gun around, just the sort of thing that could get one killed. Except that Lois somehow got her hands on a machete and lopped off Hollis’ arm, a development that struck me as awfully over the top even for this show. Selma allowed the Henricksons to leave, choosing to focus all their energies on getting medical attention for her beloved Hollis. If Hollis doesn’t survive this, that creates quite the power vacuum.

Bill kept all of this from Barb, who was still convinced that Ben was off on a wholesome camping trip with his doting grandmother. Not that Barb was having an easy time of it. Evangelical Christians — apparently organized with the help of Marilyn — were picketing the casino and its sinful ways, something they took such great exception to that they even planted a bomb there.

Barb was also trying to work out some sort of arrangement with Anna about Bill’s baby, a situation made more complicated when Anna’s super-handsome fiance Goran lost his residency. Barb threatened to bring in the authorita; Margene, perhaps motivated by Barb’s announcement that the new house will include an office for the larger-than-Barb-thinks-it-is jewelry business, smoothed everything over by marrying Goran, a plan she did not discuss with anyone in her actual marriage and which Nicki saw through immediately as a gambit to insure that she wouldn’t be harmed when Bill reveals their polygamist lifestyle, since, in the eyes of the law, Margene will be married to Goran. (Who, incidentally, looks like he’s a lot more fun than Bill.) Barb is mostly exasperated by this choice. (Her Coke container is full, people.)

Nicki, meanwhile, learned from an actual doctor that she may not be able to conceive again, news that was especially disturbing when her mother told her that she — Adalene, widow of Roman, wife of Nicki’s skeevy first husband JJ — is pregnant. (“I have the uterus of a woman half my age,” she said.) Nicki was so annoyed by this plain untruth that she dragged her mom into the bathroom and made her take one of the many prenancy tests she has stashed there. And, shockingly, it appears that Adalene is, indeed pregnant, a condition she has deemed a “miracle” and proof that Heavenly Father wanted her and JJ to be together. She recommended that Nicki go see JJ’s squirrely-looking brother, who appears to be a doctor (though I’m guessing he’s not AMA approved). Nicki, fearful about what her inability to conceive will mean to her place in the family, did. I’m guessing this will not end well.

Wanda went to see JJ, disturbed by news of Adalene’s pregnancy and reminding him that he had “promised.” What do you think that’s about? What the heck is JJ up to?

We didn’t get to see Alby this week, though we did learn that Bill has made trustee of the compound in the wake of Dale’s suicide.

There are just two episodes left, campers — what do you think is going to happen?