“Yeah, I’d hate for you to not be able to feed your kids. How about you clean my apartment for six months.”

“You are a filthy bastard. That’d be good for you. Too bad I’m going to kick your ass?”

“So then I’ll clean your house.”

“I’ve seen where you live. It’s awful. I won’t let you touch my house.”

“What we really need is some humiliation,” I said.

“Nothing motivates like being humiliated,” he said.

“You know how my motorcycle is way faster than yours?” I said.

“Bullshit,” he said.

“How about when I win, you have to wear a pink t-shirt that says, “My brother’s bike is faster than mine.”

“And then when I win, you have to wear it out in public somewhere, like Great America.”

“Yeah,” I said.

“That’d be great,” he said.

“I’m so going to kick your ass. There’s no way you can get below 200. Hell, I’m so confident I’ll give you 2-1 odds. I’ll drop 80 pounds and get below 250 before you ever drop 40 pounds and get below 200.”

“I can get below 200. Too easy.”

“Easy as pie you fat fuck. When’s the last time you were below 200?”

“When’s the last time you were below 250?”

“Either way, I’ll smoke you. I can drop four pounds taking a dump.”

“Just get yourself mentally prepared for a bright pink shirt,” I said.

“Doubt it,” he said.

“I’ll get a medium so it’s extra tight. We’ll have to get three people to pull it over you like sausage casing.”

“Make it a v-neck so your chest hair is all sticking out.”

“That’ll be sexy,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said.

*****

And that is how the Fat-Man-in-a-Tight-Pink-V-Neck-T-Shirt Challenge began.