I've certainly not kept up with this journal as much as I did last semester. Not sure why.

Anyway, tonight was nice. I really needed to go and do stuff with a larger group of people. Which I did: 21 Society, a hockey game, and out to a diner. I was a good little girl and did not go out to a club or anything. I don't want to get Josh angry again...

This whole distance thing is really pissing me off this semester. I'm not sure why, but it's definitely been bugging me more than usual. Maybe just cause I'm exposed to more on-campus couples this year, who get to be together whenever they want. That, and I feel like I would have a lot more freedom to go out and have fun if we were together. I've rarely gone out during my entire time in college (3yrs) because I'd be worried about getting him angry, or I'd just be annoyed at seeing the other couples. Once it got to this year, it's really started to drive me insane.

I think a ton of it also has to do with aggravation over the whole transferring deal. The fact that I never transferred is a huge regret. This school is too small, too snobby, as non-diverse as it can get, and too far away from everyone I know outside of the school.

Hopefully I'll see Josh next weekend. He keeps saying "maybe", though, and that annoys the hell out of me. I could understand if he was going to actually study during that whole weekend, but I rather doubt that's what would actually happen. If he doesn't see me next weekend, though, he's going to have to wait a while to see me, or he'll have to come here. Well, I'm not going to push the issue. If he doesn't want to see me, however, then he loses rights to complain about whatever I do that weekend.

I love that boy soooo much, and I miss him a TON, but sometimes he drives me crazy...Well, I've got to be up early tomorrow. Goodnight!!

Basically, Josh gets jealous when I go out. He's afraid other guys will hit on me, etc. I try to calm his fears by reminding him that he should trust me & that I would never cheat on him, but he worries about something happening to me; and the worrying gets him angry at me. So when I go to a club or a bar or something with my friends -- the *stuff* hits the fan.

The thing that annoys me though, is that he is "allowed to drink" cause he doesn't go out to do so. He stays in the dorms & parties with his friends. I don't see a

Basically, Josh gets jealous when I go out. He's afraid other guys will hit on me, etc. I try to calm his fears by reminding him that he should trust me & that I would <i>never</i> cheat on him, but he worries about something happening to me; and the worrying gets him angry at me. So when I go to a club or a bar or something with my friends -- the *stuff* hits the fan.

The thing that annoys me though, is that he is "allowed to drink" cause he doesn't go out to do so. He stays in the dorms & parties with his friends. I don't see a <i.>major</i> difference, but he does. This is mainly cause he sees the possibility of other people (that I don't know) being involved, while he is only with friends. Though what he doesn't understand is that I only stick around the people I know anyway...