The Walking Dead episode 12: It’s almost over right?

I don’t think The Walking Dead season 2 is a total loss. On the whole, it has more to recommend it than most shows. But the missed opportunities and squandering of one of the most interesting stories on television is frustrating, week in, week out. I’m ready for season 2 to be over. And I hope the suits over at AMC don’t completely destroy what’s left of this show in season 3. And now, on to the episode.

We’re doing that thing where we start in one point in time then jump back to a previous point. As a storytelling device, the writers have pretty well run this one into the ground. This week we’re cutting between a hunting party and Dale’s funeral.

Oh look, T-Dog! He’s still here.

Rick’s graveside speech about taking control overlays images of the hunting party putting down zombies. Not subtle, but effective.

First really good decision Rick has made in ages—replacing Stupid Shane as his second with Daryl. Then he promptly says, “Shane is turning over a new leaf.” Hershel’s reaction shot perfectly captures how deluded Rick is about Stupid Shane.

Carl is still wandering around alone. Stupid Shane rightly questions this, but does nothing to prevent it. Carl, the budding psychopath, admits to Stupid Shane about stealing Daryl’s gun and taunting the zombie. The most tragic part of this scene is Carl’s acting.

JFC SHANE YOU ARE THE WORST. He tries to give Carl (who is like, NINE) the gun back and absolve him of any fault in Dale’s death. Um, Dale’s death is ENTIRELY his fault. This is Stupid Shane’s main issue—he cannot see fault and accept responsibility.

Randall is about to escape. Obvs.

Maggie attempts to be nice to Glen; he rejects her. I’m so glad they’re not making this a lovey-dovey crushy-crush situation. The group is moving into the house at long last.

Stupid Shane references causing a basement flood at Rick and Horrible Lori’s. Who in Georgia has a proper basement? OH HORRIBLE LORI, NO. Girl, do not throw a line to Stupid Shane now. Do not give him reason to cling any harder to you (and Carl) as his fake family.

Remember how it was sort of awesome when Horrible Lori started her Lady Macbeth routine on Rick? All that is wasted as she apologizes to Stupid Shane. It goes like this, “Stupid Shane, I’m sorry I’m a horrible person and kind of slutty and don’t really know if this is your kid or not but I’m making it Rick’s regardless. Thanks for that one time you saved my life but we’re still done. Toodles!”

We’re back to the pirate-plan of abandoning Randall in the middle of nowhere. Rick is beginning to see the value of Daryl, which is good, as Stupid Shane comes on with another headf*ck, this time, trying to get Rick to hold off on freeing Randall in favor of having a father-son chat with Carl. Ugh, Carl. He’s always the worst.

Andrea is a lot less crazy as she bonds with Glenn over fixing Dale’s RV. Glenn is kind of a terrible fake-crier.

OMG stop trying to let Carl off the hook about Dale! Although Rick’s “we’re all going to die, probably soon, anyway, so have this gun” speech is pretty amusing. I know it’s not supposed to be, but c’mon. Only could’ve been funnier if he’d added, “By the way, Santa isn’t real.”

Oh for f*ck’s sake, who is still letting Stupid Shane get close to Randall?! Stupid Shane looks crazy and waves a gun at Randall. No good is coming of that.

And yep, Stupid Shane has taken Randall out to the woods, where he wants Randall to take him to his group. Stupid Shane says he wants to join up with the other group. But really, he kills Randall then bashes his own head on a tree, undoubtedly to make it look like he was overcome. STUPID SHANE IS THE WORST.

Stupid Shane tells Rick that Randall stole his gun and they set off on a hunt. And here is Stupid Shane’s plan, I think. He wants to pair off and search for Randall, so of course Rick goes off alone with Stupid Shane. Which means Stupid Shane is probably about to try killing Rick. Again.

Somehow, this is all Horrible Lori’s fault.

In another world, Daryl would be the star of a TLC reality show called Hillbilly Trackers. He finds the evidence of Stupid Shane bashing his nose in. Glenn and Daryl are set upon by a zombified Randall (Glenn gets the kill). So Stupid Shane didn’t kill Randall? He just knocked him out and left him in the woods? To be eaten by zombies? Well, Stupid Shane certainly has a playbook, doesn’t he?

Oh hold up…Daryl determines Randall has no zombie bites and did, in fact, die from a broken neck (so how did he get zombified…?). Glenn and Daryl realize something is terribly wrong.

Rick is finally catching on and getting suspicious of Stupid Shane. Welcome to the party, Rick. He realizes Stupid Shane is going to kill him. Because Shane thinks he’s a better father and husband than Rick. And he wants the Grimes family for himself.

I KNEW THIS WAS HORRIBLE LORI’S FAULT.

Rick is refusing to fight, of course. And trying to get Stupid Shane to give up on his murdering plans and return to the farm and act like nothing happened. Of course.

BUT THEN OMG RICK GETS REALLY BADASS.

This is why I stick with The Walking Dead, why it is not a total loss. Rick is trying to talk down Stupid Shane, sidling closer, acting like he’s giving up gun to force Shane to kill an unnarmed man. And he when gets close enough, BOOM. He stabs Stupid Shane. SUCKER PUNCH, BITCH.

And that’s the end of Stupid Shane. Which we already knew was coming because f*cking Variety printed that Jon Bernthal got another job weeks ago.

Odd perspective of zombies tearing into flesh. WTF?

And where the f*ck did Carl come from? WHY IS THIS KID ALWAYS UNSUPERVISED?

Stupid Shane is now a zombie. How is this change happening? Rick is begging Carl not to kill him when Carl kills zombie Shane. Which, again, how did that happen with no bite/scratch? Does the virus lay dormant or something? What is the biology here?

Oh great, Carl firing the gun has attracted a zombie horde. WAY TO GO, CARL.

Status check:Officer Rick: Has killed his best friend, generally having a sh*t day.Stupid Shane: Killed until he was dead by Rick.Horrible Lori: Instigator of all awfulness.Carl: Completely lacking in adult supervision.Zombie Horde: Descending.Worst thing seen/heard this week: Rick killing Stupid Shane.Zombie kill of the week: While Carl’s kill was emotionally wrought, Glenn to the head with the machete was better.