And just that quickly

Did you figure out an answer to the question of how to be, how to help, who to believe and who to support? Me neither. But! The Universe provides.

I’ve been in a few of these places, small hands stretched out in cups, adult tongues weaving tales that I want to believe at face value…

The counterpoint was my experience in Nepal.

We were off the self-corroding tourist loop. The children were looking to me for information, teaching, maybe a tad of guidance (if I may be so optimistic/conceited). The adults listened, learned and taught in implicit authenticity.

I don’t want to give a man a fish, I can’t teach him to fish…but maybe I can teach him how to talk about it in English?

Three hundred seconds after this thought I am talking to someone and hear of a smaller town, with enough tourists to have accommodation/food, but maybe not so many as to corrupt the character. I think of that as the Green Zone. And the Beauty continues, there is a possibility of volunteering some teaching time.

I am immediately nervous at the prospect, my insecurities as a teacher returning (I can’t make lesson plans for a whole classroom of kids! Different levels? Help!) but the prospect thrills me; can it be the perfect antidote to the malaise of hostel dorm rooms with their drunken sleepy farts and non-conversational indolence?

Suddenly the haze of disjointed confusion that I’ve felt since arrival clears a little. There are the stars! The music playing in the hostel is suddenly better (that one’s purely objective) and I feel more myself than I have all week.

So tomorrow I will get up as planned. Ablutions as always. I will have breakfast, nearly as expected. Get on the bus I intended, but get off in a place I hadn’t heard of until a few hours ago.