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Topic : 01/11 In Search Of …

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Created on : Friday, January 05, 2007, 10:51:22 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Our parents are among the most pivotal people in our life. They literally shape our minds and our personalities, teach us morals, values, and right from wrong. So when a parent disappears from a child’s world, the loss can result in a life-long quest. Dr. Phil meets two women whose child/parent bond was broken under two separate sets of devastating circumstances. Erica is in search of the man who murdered her mother when Erica was just a toddler. Erica says he tortured her mother, then shot her on the front lawn where she finally died. The man who committed this horrifying crime is Erica's own father! Then, Cressi has a daughter whom she hasn’t seen in nearly 20 years. She says her ex-husband snatched the girl from her home when she was just 8 months old. Did Cressi do everything she could to find her missing child, or does her daughter, Darby, have a right to feel abandoned? You will be amazed at what Dr. Phil finds as he goes in search of these missing loved ones. Talk about the show here.

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Cressie & Darby

I do not believe this mother would have the funds to hire a good search. Then she was to ask her ex husband who took the girl to give her permission to see the girl. Strange, I would think that would be acting in a fog. This seemed to be determined the fault of the mother. The father should have lots of blame. His lady friend was only playing from his corner.

I hope Darby will decide to become acquainted with her mother and sister.

I know how she feels

This is actually a response to Dr. Phil's comments to the mom that wants to see her daughter. He talked about how whe didn't try hard enough to find her, and that he would do what ever it took to find her, and made the comment that is show found her. Well, I just want to say first of all that The Dr. Phil show has vast amounts of resourses that maybe this single mom alone working against the system did not have. Also, him telling her that she is going to have some hard questions to answer was just silly. Did he really think that she hasn't known that since the first day the father took her. And no one said one word about the dad making mistakes in the whole thing.

I am in the same situation as this mother is in and think about what I am going to say to her everyday. I know about road blocks. I know about family standing in the way and I know about the system and trying to work though all the red tape and judges making their desisions.

Before you say "Well, you didn't do enough", live through it. And I hope you never have to.

Abandonment

For the most part, I agree with what Dr. Phil says; however, I disagree with Dr. Phil about Cressi's search for her daughter. For more than 20 years, I tried to find my ex-husband because he abandoned my children and left us with nothing. I tried the police but they had other more important cases to solve and at that time, no one really cared about dead-beat dads. I tried collection agencies because he had left me with $25,000 in unpaid bills. They found him once and he promptly disappeared and they didn't want to spend anymore money on trying to find him. The child support office said I had to know where he was in order to go after him--if I knew where he was, I wouldn't be asking them to help me; I'd do it myself. His parents said they didn't know where he was and consistently lied about that to protect him and not their own grandchildren. Then the internet became available and I actually found him, 25 years later. When I went to the child support agency to see if I could go after him for back child support of $25,000, they said the statute of limitations had expired. So technically, my children were abandoned by their biological father and the system. Through all those years, we searched and came up with literally nothing and had not the funds to hire someone. I will bet Cressi was in the same circumstances. So it was VERY simplistic for Dr. Phil so say she didn't try. He has a former FBI agent on his side and the money to produce results. Cressi's former relatives never had Darby's interests in mind when they continually led Cressi down the path of disinformation and outright lies.

I give Erica credit

Erica and Rachel how they are on different ends of the spectrum. I do give Erica credit for confronting her father who took her mom's life while under the influence of methamphetamines. Erica has many questions she may never get the real answers to. Her father Mark didn't seem to be remorseful at all. He really can't bring himself to say he "murdered" or "tortured" his then estranged wife. It was certainly very interesting to see how one daughter wants dad in her life, and the other, well she has no use for him. It also surprised me to hear the Aunt (sister to Erica/Rachel's mom) speak so kindly to him, forgiving him and knowing he did truly love her sister. I wonder if I could do the same. since he was so high that day, I wonder how much he really remembers....

It was very good of Dr. Phil to get this guy cleaned up before meeting Erica, his emotions otherwise would have been deadened. I do hope this family will not get hurt again, see Dad will always be a drug addict, he must work very hard, every minute of his life to stay clean, if he truly wants his daughter in his life, I hope this will be a wake up call....I hope he doesn't hurt that child again.....

01/11 In Search Of …

Maybe you should ask Cressie where the rest of her children are??? Not living with her and I wonder why??? Let's hear that excuse...

There is a simple explanation for the idiot who posted this one....they are all over the age of 18 and are on their own. I do talk to every one of them on a regular...weekly and twice weekly ...basis. Except for the youngest who is 17.....she lives with me. Cressi

01/11 In Search Of …

This is actually a response to Dr. Phil's comments to the mom that wants to see her daughter. He talked about how whe didn't try hard enough to find her, and that he would do what ever it took to find her, and made the comment that is show found her. Well, I just want to say first of all that The Dr. Phil show has vast amounts of resourses that maybe this single mom alone working against the system did not have. Also, him telling her that she is going to have some hard questions to answer was just silly. Did he really think that she hasn't known that since the first day the father took her. And no one said one word about the dad making mistakes in the whole thing.

I am in the same situation as this mother is in and think about what I am going to say to her everyday. I know about road blocks. I know about family standing in the way and I know about the system and trying to work though all the red tape and judges making their desisions.

Before you say "Well, you didn't do enough", live through it. And I hope you never have to.

I hope things work out better for you than they did for me.God Bless,Cressi

Dr Phil's HELP Please

Comment by Debi Arterbury Pomrenke on 3 April 2009:

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Comment by Debi Arterbury Pomrenke on 4 February 2009:

I am praying you read this as I have written so many letters to almost everyone that can do something to find my baby boy I gave birth to in November 1970. I came from a very abusive family and when I got pregnaut with my son, I thought it best for Christopher to placed for adoption. My parents made sure no one saw me where I lived, put me in a home in St Louis, MO to live with a Dr. and family and watch there children till it was time for me to deliver. Well I manage to stay there till my ninth month and had to come home as I was placed on the third floor of this house and just couldnt walk it everyday and watch the children properly. I called my Dad and told him he had to come and get me or else. He came and got me. My stepmother didnt help me much and I guess I made their lives pretty miserable. They got in a huge fight and she left with her daughter and left me there with my Dad and siblings. I then went into labor that night. My Dad retired Navy had medical on me and had to take me to the nearest military base to give birth which was Scott Air force Base,Ill. He got me there just in time. I guess there was a mix up at the hospital and I was not suppose to see my son, which already started bothering me terribly, laid him in my arms and that was all it took. Instant love of a child. He was so beautiful and I was able to bond with my child for 3 days. But I had to bring back across the state line to Hazelwood, Mo for adoption procedures. I couldnt go through with it. I wanted my son. But my parents (Father) said if I keep him we would be out on the curb, turning to my grandparents, was told I would be disowned. I couldnt raise my son on the streets. My son needed love and a normal family to be brought up in. They didnt waste any time coming to get my son. He was gone and my heart has been hurting ever since. Yes, a long time has passed but your not the first, I have written so many letters, even when there were no computers. I am praying you can help me find him. I need some closer with my life. Even a picture. I feel all these years was like a part of me died and he did to. Yes, the lose of a child is devistating. I pray for him and love him dearly afterall he is my son. I am not asking for him to response if he doenst want to. Just taking the mystery out of my life. Please Please help me. God bless you my dear son, you need to know the real story. You are so very much loved and missed.Your Biological MotherSad with Pain inCA.