It doesn't happen often, but there are films that
succeed both with critics and at the box office. Schindler's List is
an example. Then there are films which succeed with critics but lack box
office punch, like The Sweet Hereafter. There are plenty of films
loved by the masses and excoriated by the pundits. Big Momma's House
did about $120 million at the domestic box office, for example.

And then there are the films universally despised by
one and all. Negative reviews from all major print sources. $4 million at the box office. What
more is there to say?

Four Rooms is a loosely
connected series of vignettes. The stories take place in four
different rooms of a big
city hotel. The four episodes were helmed by four different
directors, and are unified by the presence of a Jerry Lewis-like
bellhop.

The bellhop in question is Tim Roth.
Yup, when you think of comedy, you think of Tim. Unless Jeremy
Irons is available. Or Robert Lansing. Or former U.S. Secretary of
Defense Robert "Shemp" McNamara. Or the prophet Ezekiel - funny guy. I
suppose Tim's performance may be appropriate for comedy in the
Aristotelean sense, but Aristotle never really packed them in at the
Athens Improv, not even after they removed the two hemlock minimum. Even
Sophocles got more laughs.

NUDITY REPORT

Ione Skye and Sammi Davis are topless in segment
1.

Roth demonstrates
the age-old comedy reasoning that when there is no humor in the
script, it may be easily manufactured with a funny face (The Jerry
Lewis/Larry Storch school of comedy) or a wacky trip over some
furniture (the John Ritter/Dick van Dyke school).

Silly drunk-acting
schtick (the Foster Brooks/Dudley Moore school) is always a
time-honored piece of comedy gold as well, although Roth couldn't do
that here because one of the characters did it in one of the skits
(Quentin Tarantino himself).
But Roth did enough mugging for the camera that no fake hiccups were
necessary.

In all fairness, the last two
segments, directed by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, are not
complete abominations. In fact, the Rodriguez segment is pretty darned
good. Unfortunately, you'll never make it there. It is not
humanly possible to watch the first two episodes, so you
will have shut off the DVD player and broken out Pictionary before you
ever see the last two.

The
Critics Vote

General consensus: one and a half stars. Ebert
2/4, Berardinelli 2/4, filmcritic.com 2/5

with their dollars: It lost money despite
a modest budget of $4 million. Gross $4 million.

IMDb
guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of
excellence, about like three and a half stars
from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm
watchability, about like two and a half stars
from the critics. The fives are generally not
worthwhile unless they are really your kind of
material, about like two stars from the critics.
Films under five are generally awful even if you
like that kind of film, equivalent to about one
and a half stars from the critics or less,
depending on just how far below five the rating
is.

My own
guideline: A means the movie is so good it
will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not
good enough to win you over if you hate the
genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an
open mind about this type of film. C means it will only
appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover
appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you
like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if
you love the genre. F means that the film is not only
unappealing across-the-board, but technically
inept as well.

Based on this description, this
film is a D+. Good enough production values, but not much else.