"You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."— Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

DOGCON4: Philadelphia, PA

It seems like it was just yesterday when I was
standing in Jen and John’s kitchen, covered in marshmallow as I tried to bake
treats for the first DogCon with Heidi Ruby Miller. Three wonderful and
productive years have since passed, and as I write this, I’m slowly recovering
from DogCon 4, which took place in Philadelphia, PA. I say recover because
during this trip I went to prison, looked at dead things in jars, won a
championship belt, became a bridesmaid, and caught up with old friends while
making new friends in the process.

William and I left fairly early in the morning for
what would be our first road trip together as a couple. I baked muffins, he
picked me up in in a spider costume, and that, my friends, pretty much
describes our relationship in a nutshell, but I digress. We got into the city later
than we expected because the Pennsylvania Turnpike is actually the 10th
circle of Hell, but what awaited us in the city was well worth the wait.

We ate at one of Bobby Flay’s Burger joints because I
think William would have had an aneurysm if we didn’t—but jokes aside, my guy
has good taste (I mean, obviously). My burger was heavenly and I’m now 100%
#TeamFlay. We’ll definitely be visiting his restaurant in Vegas in May when we’re
in town for StokerCon.

^^ Can you keep a secret? Good. Now don’t tell
William, but I think I’m going to make our anniversary dinner reservations
there. Shhhh.

Afterwards we met up with Joseph Bouthiette Jr.,
Kaylee Stebbins and Josh Myers, all of who I met for the first time, despite
being friends with them online for years. That, though, is one of my favorite
parts about conventions: meeting new people. Josh and I immediately became BFF’s
based on our mutual love of Archer, and Joe and Kaylee were two of the most
lovely and hysterical people I’ve met over the years. Instant friendships are
my favorites, and I’m already counting down the days until we cross paths
again.

I also got to spend the evening catching up with two
of my dearest friends, Kristina (Kat) and Austin. Kat was my roommate in
college, and we hadn’t seen each other in two years, and after lots of laughing
and crying and merrymaking over the weekend, she asked me to be one of her
bridesmaids next year at her wedding. I love you, Kat. I’m so happy that you’re
happy and I can’t wait to stand by your side and make you laugh at
inappropriate moments while you’re trying to seriously start your life as an
adult.

Austin, who I haven’t seen for six years, introduced
me to his lovely girlfriend, Rain, told William a lot of embarrassing stories
about me in college (all of which were true) and the whole trip with them was
just a riot. Kat and Austin celebrated with me, watched me almost die of food
poisoning, hugged and kissed me goodbye, and in those moments, it’s pretty cool
to know that I have people like the two of them in my life. If I’ve learned
anything over the years, it’s that distance doesn’t mean anything when you love
you someone. Here’s to forever friendships!

The next morning, William and I woke up and met the
RDSP crew at Eastern State Penitentiary, something that has been on my bucket
list for probably about five years now. Anyone who knows me will tell you that
one of my absolute favorite things to do is explore haunted/abandoned prisons
and asylums, so this was basically heaven for me, and the fact that I got to
cross something off my bucket list with William by my side was a moment in and
of itself.The tour was amazing, and I
took lots of notes and pictures for my current WIP, The Color White. A big highlight for me here was seeing Al Capone’s
cell, as well as listening to Arnzen tell me that clowns were going to jump out
of the walls at any given moment.

After breaking out of prison, William and I got some
grub—and a pretty bangin’ hot/hard cider-- and headed off to the Mutter Museum.
As you can see, my game plan for seduction is pretty strong. I like to romance
my man by first taking him to prison, and then follow it up with a nice visit
to see some deformed medical oddities that have been soaked in formaldehyde and
stuffed into jars. William and I had a blast here and if that, in and of
itself, doesn’t say love, I don’t know what will. We say some fascinating medical
equipment, I got shot and had my arm amputated, and then we played with plush
body parts and diseases for a while as we laughed over which harmful malady we
could give to each other for Christmas.

After the museum, we went and grabbed some coffee and
walked around the city a bit. It was wonderfully relaxing and one of my
favorite parts of the trip with William. We made our way over to the
Philadelphia Museum of Art, where we saw Thor, a skateboarding dog, and the
Rocky statue. I lost a bet I made with William, he laughed at me a lot, and
then he posed on the steps like the champion he is. This also is pretty
standard for our relationship. Laughing makes me happy, and William makes me
happy, so the two of them together is pretty much all I need.

Later that evening, the RDSP authors were scheduled to
read at PhilaMOCA. Prior to going there, William and I went back to the house
where I practiced my reading for him. I’m usually not one to share anything
that I write until the moment that I’m either on stage or turning something in
for publication, but with William, it’s easy because I trust him and I know he’ll
be honest with me. That’s a good feeling to have, I won’t lie, and that moment where
I was reading, and he was listening to me on the porch is one that I’ll keep in
the memory box for quite some time.

When we got to the venue, I listened to all of my fabulously
talented colleagues read from their work, and as always, it was great and
equally inspiring. I read a poem out of Hysteria,
“The Color White,” and then followed up with the first chapter of my novel in
progress: The Color White. Sounds
crazy? Well it was. They certainly don’t call me the light poet. Bring on the
darkness and fill it full of madness, my friends. And if the night couldn’t get
any better, I ended up winning the Reader’s Choice Award for Mourning Jewelry and I about had a heart
attack. Former champion and current selfie partner, Matt Betts, gifted me with the
belt which I will hold on to—and wear (everywhere)—for the next year. A big thank you to Jen and
John for everything that they do—both for me, and for the press—and an even
bigger thank you to all of my readers. None of this would be possible without
you.

The night
ended with me dying of food poisoning. So we’ll skip over that.

Sunday
rolled around faster than usual, but was still a full day nevertheless. William
and I LOVE It’s Always Sunny in
Philadelphia so stopping at Mac’s Tavern was an absolute must on our to-do
list. We brunched hard there with some Mimosas and Bloody Mary’s and then we
hit the road for New Hope, PA, for the final event at Farley’s Bookshop: D.Harlan Wilson’s book launch for BATTLE WITHOUT HONOR OR HUMANITY, VOL 1. RDSP
also put into action a story swap that had us all laughing until we cried. The
highlight here for me was Arnzen reading my poem “Head Banging” and me reading
his piece “The Bleu Man Group.” From now on, Arnzen and I are only reading each
other’s work because it was too damn funny, so prepare yourselves accordingly.

Saying goodbye
is always hard, but it’s a necessary evil. I’m looking forward to seeing
everyone again, hopefully sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, thank
you all for making this past weekend such a wonderful experience for me.

Behind the Madness

Stephanie M. Wytovich is an American poet, novelist, and essayist. Her
work has been showcased in numerous anthologies such as Gutted:
Beautiful Horror Stories, Shadows Over Main Street: An Anthology of
Small-Town Lovecraftian Terror, Year's Best Hardcore Horror: Volume 2,
The Best Horror of the Year: Volume 8, as well as many others.

Wytovich
is the Poetry Editor for Raw Dog Screaming Press, an adjunct at Western
Connecticut State University and Point Park University, and a mentor
with Crystal Lake Publishing. She is a member of the Science Fiction
Poetry Association, an active member of the Horror Writers Association,
and a graduate of Seton Hill University’s MFA program for Writing
Popular Fiction. Her Bram Stoker Award-winning poetry collection,
Brothel, earned a home with Raw Dog Screaming Press alongside Hysteria:
A Collection of Madness, Mourning Jewelry, An Exorcism of Angels, and
Sheet Music to My Acoustic Nightmare. Her debut novel, The Eighth, is
published with Dark Regions Press.

Follow Wytovich at http://www.stephaniewytovich.com/ and on twitter @SWytovich​.