The journey to living by design.

Staying the course

So now that I’m in treatment for my anxiety again, (therapy and medication,) I wanted to talk about how difficult it is to stay in treatment. Anxiety is tricky. One of the most deceiving parts is that the medication works. I’m about a month into taking my antidepressants so the meds have fully permeated my brain chemistry and that’s making me feel pretty evened out emotionally.

I have days where I feel totally fine. I can almost convince myself I was never really that anxious. I imagine waking up the next day and just not taking my pills. I don’t really need them, do I?

Then without warning, I have a day where I’m pretty sure I’m not going to make it to the end of the day without a panic attack. I feel ready to crawl out of my skin. I can’t imagine trying to face the day without my daily antidepressant pill. Until I can drastically reduce the number of anxious days I have, there’s no way I can stop taking my meds or going to therapy. At least I can look forward to more and more good days as I work away on this.