Since there were no spoken words, I can't really say anything on dialouge, right? But there were some things there inbetween the lines, and I liked that you could tweak those in without anyone really noticing that there was dialouge.

But I really do like the situation and Domonique's point of view. I mean, I can totally relate myself. But anyways, I really liked the situation you put in front of her, which was basically jealousy. You described her feelings for Teddy and her sister perfectly.

Also, with the Victorie descriptions, I thought she was a bit coy, don't you? "Her confidence and charm can lure any man into her bed, no problem." That seemed pretty (insert unnessecary word here) lol. But I liked it! It totally matched the feelings she had towards her sister. I really enjoyed this story, I've never read anything about Domonique, and this was a good start.

thanks for posting!!
--ron.weasleyxo from the forums :D
10/10

Author's Response: thank you so much :D I couldnt believe when i finished it that there was no dialogue :P I think it worked, though. It makes a complete change from anything else I've written. But I never shy away from trying something new.