Friday, January 15, 2010

8:24 The "arrivals" special (VH-1 bitches) is about to begin. What does it mean that I'm slightly more excited for the pizza that's on its way. The website tells me that Zahidur is on his way with it right now. In truth, I'm more excited than I usually am due to Cheno (née Kristin Chenoweth). Are you watching? Even if I wasn't addicted to awards shows I would watch it for her. She's like sunshine and baby kittens and ice cream all at once.

8:31 Zahidur was kind of a jerk. We tip well and he still didn't feel it was enough? What the F? You know... I do not understand why I am forced to watch the Jonas Bros when I tune in to a movie awards show? What the F do they have to do with the movies? Oh, I get it. The Shirley Temple tribute ringlet curls on his forehead.

8:36 Anna Kendrick claims that George Clooney is not intimidating to work with. I believe her.

8:41 Fashion Police Break!

Don't you think Marion Cotillard should probably quit with the mermaid thing? She already won the Oscar dressed as one. And Saoirse's dress is so old lady but then a little too busy to be in homage to The Golden Girls. And you better save that bizness till the SAG Awards anyway when Betty White is honored. I hope everyone comes in caftans. And I better see a cheesecake platter on every table.8:49 Ohmygod. They've even coached their red carpet people to act like the BFCA doesn't matter unless it's reflecting the Oscars. I'm so deeply ashamed. Stand for yourselves, fellow media peeps! Stop announcing your own irrelevancy in the face of *THE OSCARS* Be your own game and people will be more into you.

8:57 I edited this out of the last podcast but Joe Reidbegged James Cameron to cut his hair or be mistaken for an old lesbian:

TOO LATE.

Cuz this is ladies night... oh, what a night!

Zoe Saldana apparently loves the older women! And plastic dresses.

9:04 "Look at this dress!" Hee. But this opening host song's 'funny' lyrics are not really worthy of TONY winning Cheno. But that ending "Nancy, is it really that complicated? I don't think so" was pretty funny. I'll give them that.

9:15 OMG how awkward was that reference to helping the quake victims in Haiti. Poor Tobey Maguire gettin' that duty 'And now...' Supporting Actress: MO'NIQUE in Precious. Referencing her husband's reaction to the script

Mama, don't judge it. Just be it and leave it on the floor... I love you, Daddy.

I am thrilled that Mo'Nique won, I love those rhinestones on steroids round her neck. But I am so absolutely creeped out when married couples call each other any variation of mamma and daddy. It's not right!

9:29Best Animated Feature Up. So far no surprises. I love the theme to Up. It might be my favorite thing about the movie. Okay. I think that was kind of an uncharitable acceptance speech. He couldn't mention how brilliant some of his competitors were? Or did I miss that while I was typing. If so I take it back. But I don't think I missed it. And really: Coraline... Fantastic Mr. Fox. That's some damn fine celluloid, mister Docter winner.

9:39 oy... a plastic surgery joke? Poor Kristen Bell. She had to deliver it. That's why she looked so pissed earlier. Best Young Actor goes to Saoirse Ronan

9:43 A tribute to John Hughes. The best part of it is Amy Poehler & John Krasinski's Pretty in Pink garb. hee. There was kind of a funny joke in there about the "each one of us is a brain, an athlete, a basketcase, a princess and a criminal"speech. It involved cuts to people in the audience to illustrate each type (Meryl Streep being the punchline for "a criminal") but nobody got the joke because the delivery and editing was so slow. It played like technical difficulties rather than as a joke. Too bad. Super fast delivery and editing and the Streep punchline woulda worked.

9:55Supporting Actor Christoph Waltz. Nice acceptance speech. Humble and all about the choices that led to Inglourious Basterds.

How much do you want to bet Quentin is thinking about KristinChenoweth's little piggies at this very moment in the broadcast?

9:57 I find it that Inglourious Basterds are seated across from A Single Man's team. Julianne Moore (love the sculptural dress though it's not so great, seated) seems to find Kristin Chenoweth funny. So: good taste Julianne. Kristin is working hard but the material is a bit rough.

10:00 Sarah Silverman cracks me up. Great gay joke. Best Comedy to The Hangover. Lame. (500) Days of Summer was a hundred times better.

10:15 Oops. I fell asleep. Best Song "Weary Kind" Ryan Bingham is so sexy. And I love that there's two Ryan Binghams in play this year (see also: Up in the Air)

10:20 Er... they just gave out all the technical prizes at once. Bad form! I don't like it when people pretend that cinematography is not as important as directing and writing and whatnot. It went like so: Avatar = cinematography, editing, art direction, sound, visual effects; District 9 = makeup; Young Victoria = costumes; Grey Gardens = TV movie; The Cove = documentary; Broken Embraces = Foreign Film; Up = best score.

10:21 My goodness. Claire Danes really hits her "T"s. Such elocution. Best Adapted Screenplay Up in the Air. Best Original Screenplay Inglourious Basterds. They're really churning out the awards. Tarantino's speech is good so you get the end, when he reveals that screenplay awards are because of actors.

These guys know. My material is not easy. It's hard. I cannot have dumb actors do my dialogue. I've tried it and it was a disaster. So I want to thank my lovely actors for taking my words and singing my song and doing my poetry. God bless you.

So cool. I love that he finally accepts that he's a terrible actor. Notice he was not in Basterds, f'ing it up.

10:34 MERYL STREEP (!) presenting Kevin Bacon with a prize for something. It has something to do with Bacon's charities. I have trouble concentrating because it's Streep and this has been a really long day and I ate too much pizza. Damn you Zahidur!

10:43 I am filled with joy that Best Director is for Kathryn Bigelow. I am proud to say that I've been backing her since Near Dark in the 80s and I am totally willing to scootch over and let everyone else join the bandwagon. There's plenty of room and it's about freaking time, people.

10:48 Vera Farmiga is presenting Best Actor which is perfect because she brings out great things from her leading men. Best Actor Jeff Bridges. Bridges got his director's name wrong but good save, there Jeff. God I love this man. But in the background I think it's very important to note this historic event.

I'm sorry Diane Kruger but I have to.

An actress EATS at an awards show. That made me almost as happy as the existence of Kristin 'sunshine+kittens+icecream' Chenoweth.

11:03 Best Actress Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock. Yes, another tie. How does this happen? Is it fixed. Second year in a row with a best actress tie?

Both times, Meryl Streep is involved? But that was HILARIOUS. Because both of these women are. For those who couldn't see, they circled each other warily, Sandra shouted "bullshit" and then they kissed! So, so funny. And as we have grown accustomed to expecting, Meryl's speech was divine. She even bitched that her husband was "GOLFING!" ha ha.

11:16 Mark Boal (screenwriter) accepts Best Picture for The Hurt Locker. Love that movie. And can we just talk about what no one talks about here. The cast and crew are smokin'. I'm just sad that Anthony Mackie wasn't there. But I'm just going to start calling it The Sexy Locker.

And Cheno signs off claiming she's going to head backstage to make out with Sandra Bullock. And I'm signing off, too. But I'm hoping to make out with Kathryn Bigelow and Jeremy Renner instead.

I feel awful. Almost every year I feel oddly compelled to watch these awards--and every time I feel like a lapsed junkie, tasting my first bit and feeling all kinds of satisfaction and remorse in the process. Kristin is wonderful, but I wouldn't know that from just watching this ceremony. It's just embarrassing.

Being forced to watch this on VH1.com, and the cameraman is slightly above mentally challenged. Random audience reaction shots of people sitting down with blank expressions or of people WALKING AROUND instead of focusing on who's on the podium, or what's onscreen, or who just won. IDIOT. I am so aggravated right now. Someone BETTER load the *actual* version on youtube later.

wow...Cheno is trying so hard...but seriously, who wrote this crap? quite possibly the worst awards show banter ever!! I would rather have just seen Cheno deliver every award from her living room. I'm sure if she improv-ed it would have been better!!

Also: SO WEIRD how prominently Six Degrees is going to feature in the legacy (such as it is) of Kevin Bacon. Tributes like this, to actors still in their prime (age-wise, if not, in Kevin's case, career-wise) are such an odd window into how we're going to remember people years from now.

Also Also (hey, I'm fine to just keep chattering away): I will be perfectly happy with Jeff Bridges taking the Best Actor Oscar if he keeps making acceptance speeches as relaxed, amiable, and fun to watch as that was. I was worried the career-award aspect would be a fly in the ointment, but not anymore. (It also helps I finally saw Crazy Heart and loved the performance.)

This VH1 liveblogging of the backstage press conferences is really painful. ALL the reporters ask "how does it feel to win?" and "what do you think about your oscar chances? is it messing with your head?" over and over again, like such tools. Bridges is really trying hard to take in stride, bless him.

In other news, why couldn't the person who wrote for Cheno when she hosted the Drama Desk Awards write this time. Still hoping for a Carey win although, now I wouldn't mind Sandra Bullock winning. It might officially wean me of award shows and and me realise they're not worth that much.

I actually think "The Hangover" is immensely better than "(500) Days." One is exactly the movie it sets out to be and the other is a rather dull and ordinary indie comedy with some nice moments. I do not get the fuss over this one.

Hands down least entertaining and annoying awards show in years ! And I have been seeing them for over 20 years. Listening to Kristen Chenowith's Minnie Mouse voice for 2 hours was so grating. I almost didn't get to finsih watching the show because my girlfriend was losing it over Chenowith and that irritating voice. Stuck in a hard place because I wanted to watch as I'm in a pool. The whole vibe of the show was boring and missed on so many spots. The writing they provided the presenter's was horrible. Especially the Heather Graham/Ed Helmes, Zach Quinto/Danes and Levitt/ Morgan spots. Cringe worthy.The nominees looked bored. And Chenowith is not a natural comedienne and her stunts fell flat. Not really her fault, but she's just not funny. That's the best they could do ? You couldn't have had George Lopez or Chris Rock ? Anyway... annoying nonetheless. Hopefully the Globes are better !

I'm pleased to see how much they love Broken Embraces. If Almodovar wins GG, do you think we could see a very big surprise as BP nominee in February 2? By the way, the movie has high scores at RT and Metacritic.

Danielson -- "Chenoweth is not a natural comedienne" methinks someone isn't familiar with her career. That's exactly what she is and what she's known for. That's how she got famous (musical comedy). But even talented people can run into trouble when the material sucks.

The night I saw Wicked there was a set malfunction that stopped the show in its tracks and Kristin had the audience in stitches for 3 or 4 minutes while they fixed it.

You're a far braver man that I am, Nathaniel. I made it about 30 minutes before praying that the audience would respond to Kristin Chenoweth and going to bed. Poor girl. I have a feeling no one there knew who she was. She's a wonderful host and, the key here, a wonderful person. I think they didn't realize that her persona on stage was not an act. She really is cute and bubbly and a basket full of rainbows and puppy dogs whenever she's off stage.

I loved the applause almost all the way through the Coraline clip. More than Up, that's for sure.

OtherRobert -- people who don't know who Kristin Chenoweth is make me crazy mad. Our world is so fucked up. Seriously. People know who Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and numerous reality tv "personalities" are and they've done NOTHING to contribute to any credible forms of entertainment and most of them have no discernible talent to speak of.

sorry. you touched a nerve!

Cheno is awesome and has been since at least 1999. "and that's my new philosophy!" TONY win.

Now I won't look crazy championing her to win this year. I had been referencing Julia Roberts' shocking win to support my prediction but most people didn't seem convinced. I guess the Hollywood glitz that makes "The Blind Side" suffer as a film was discouraging them.

Make room, Nat, on your bandwagon because I'm joining it. And like a sign from above the postman brought me NEAR DARK today. Hee!Has anybody read that titbit in the NYT about the seating arrangement at the Golden Globes? Apparently THE SEXY LOCKER isn't sexy enough for them so they are pulling in some kid from that Twilight movie to "bring glamour to the table". Clearly they haven't seen THL but nominated it anyway because everybody else did and they didn't wanted to end up looking stupid and out of touch. The Twilight cast combined would have a hard time 'upsexing' Anthony Mackie alone. But the THL crew combined? No effing way!

I bet for sure Basterds and Tarantino WILL WIN BP & BD. Not Hurt Locker. Not Up in the Air. Not Avatar. Avatar will win techs, Nine probably minors techs categories. Up in the Air probably screenplay and Hurt Locker also screenplay. But I have this feeling about IB... we'll see.

Julia Roberts shocking win???? Only in your mind her win was shocking. Everyone, including herself, knew she was going to win about 6 months before Oscar night.She didn't win every single award on the face of earth like Helen Mirren but she the SAG, Golden Globe - Drama, BAFTA, BFCA, NBR and L.A. Critics.One of the most predictable best actress winners ever.

Some good choices, and some not so good. If there was going to be a tie, it should have been between Meryl and Gabby or Meryl and Carey. I've come to like Bullock recently, but maintain she has no business collecting Best Actress awards for that performance.

As for the presenters...So awkward. The writing was terrible, but I was nevertheless amazed that actors struggled so much to inject any sort of energy into their lines.

I echo the sentiments that BFCA should stop defining themselves in relation to the Oscars. It makes them seem completely irrelevant as a separate event.

I was excited for Kristin Chenowith but MAN, that was just awful. I'm sorry. I know she's your girl and everything, but c'mon sometimes even our favorites stumble once in awhile. The parodies, the jokes....eh, I just cringed all night. Her cuteness was the only saving grace. The presenters were even worse. Wish it could go back to being intimate and simple like the previous years. The overhead marquee, flashing lights, goddamn Nick Jonas, the spacious room just smacked of MTV-Movie-Awards wannabe.

Everyone always knew that IB was going to win Best Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor, so I have no idea why everything thinks it's going to win Best Picture all of a sudden. I'm sure that that the critics, unlike at the SAG awards, are smart enough not to equate "Best Acting Ensemble" with "Best Picture". And Up in the Air is not going to win, either. It's going to be The Hurt Locker or Avatar.

I adore Kristin Chenowith, but most of her bits just didn't work. The Orphan girl killing the Salmon girl with a hammer was in incredibly bad taste. Even worse, it wasn't funny. I'm all for bad taste but it has to be funny.

I'm sorry, the material was bad but I don't think Chenoweth handled it well either. Her line delivery was a little off. I do commend her for sticking with it through that disaster of a show. She did not leave good impressions on whoever was watching the show and was unfamiliar with her.

Tom O'Neil and Jeff Wells need to give it a rest with the Mo'nique hate. When you say things like this, you really need to seek help:

Mo'Nique gives O'Neil a fast look that says, "You Oscah-handicappin' muthahfuckin' punk-ass bitch! If I could only say what I really feel and wipe the floor with your white ass...but I can't. I won't. Here...talk to my husband."

When I pray for my family in Haiti, I'm going to include Wells and O'neil too. Disgraceful!

Nathanial, you make good points, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But being able musical comedy does not make you funny in every aspect of the comic form. Granted I will give many a pass, at that particular show because the writing was horrible. And I have just never been a big fan of Kristen Chednowith. If she was so great she'd be able to carry a film all by her loansome. I'm sorry but when did the Minnie Mouse voice thing become popular ?But I'm not here to aruge. The show sucked. I can go back to the Critics Choice Awards of last year and the year before that and were much better and easier to watch. Maybe because those years had better overall films.I will say one thing, I just wish the presenter's didn't have to say very much or try to be funny. It almost never works and creats awkwardness. When it doesn't work it totally throws off any positve momentum of the show. Just get up there say hello, say you look nice and present the nominees.

@ anon 2:09, that might have been the initial reasoning (same studio), but Philip Berk (president of the HFPA) turned it into something else. Look here: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/14/movies/awardsseason/14globes.html?ref=movies