Q: My significant other and I have an age difference of 23 years. However, we’re both adults who are over the age of 25. Is this illustrative of an Oedipus complex?

-Becki M.A: Hi Becki,Let’s begin by defining our terms. According to Freud, the Oedipus complex is a desire for sexual involvement with the parent of the opposite sex and a sense of rivalry with the parent of the same sex. Since the Oedipus complex usually plays itself out between the young ages of 3-5, I don’t believe that this is the issue. However, we tend to choose older mates for a variety of reasons, such as an unconscious search for a father or mother figure, for example. This could be a more likely explanation.

I’m assuming that one of you is just over the age of 25, which would make the other one of you at least 48. In my opinion, there’s a vast and significant difference between the maturity level and life experience of a 25-year-old and a 48-year-old. I’m not saying that it can’t work, but a person in their mid-20s hasn’t quite grown into their adult self yet, whereas, a late 40-something person has. To answer your question, this isn’t the Oedipus complex at play, Becki. Due to the youthful age of one of you, I think there will be maturity and developmental issues that will cause relationship problems down the road!