This is a daily account of my ups and downs, my experimentation on helping control my condition, and I hope that it helps put this problem into perspective. If you are bipolar, you are not crazy, and you are not alone. Currently I am not on prescription medicine because of the adverse side effects, so I am trying to change my lifestyle and habits, and hopefully one day I can effectively control my condition.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Get Your Life In Focus...

Today, I tried so hard to make baby steps. I have been in a funk for over a month, partially due to the fact that I am very sick and 11 weeks pregnant, and today I tried to will myself out of it. I started by getting up this morning and do some retail therapy, which is actually just buying things that I actually need. There are no frills in this household. I bought a broom and some cleaning supplies so that I could get motivated to clean. It feels pretty pointless considering the children will destroy any progress I've made. I also tried to tackle the mountain of laundry that has been building. I have accomplished a few loads, but I there is so much more to do.

Now...I'm angry. Fighting with the children has taken any energy that I had and the pain pills have worn off and I'm sick and irritable again. I look forward to having the kids home, but it is mayhem and the stress is beginning to break me. But...baby steps. I got out of bed, showered, did laundry, shopped for things that we needed, went to the bank, did some dishes, and I will cap off the day with cleaning out the vacuum. Oh, and I made a valiant effort to post a blog post. Perhaps, tomorrow, I will even write an article...maybe. But today...I feel confident that I tried.

2 comments:

I have done nearly nothing for weeks, but I feel like the rollercoaster is on it's way up because I have been at the bottom so long. Don't give up the fight. Your motivation will come! I think that I blame myself and feel guilty too often. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to make it through the day...and wait, until the storm passes.