Musings on sharing my wife sexually with other men, my bisexual side, and about sex in general.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I Like It Here

When Sarah and I had our first "date" in August and the next day she swung by to say goodbye to me on her way home we had no idea when we might see each other again. The worst case scenario would have been that she'd not be able to get away until the same time next year, (Sounds like a movie!), though we both spoke hopefully of maybe seeing each other around Christmastime. Never did we dream that we'd get together again six weeks or so later in early October, and then once more a month later in November, and neither had we imagined that we might even spend whole nights together.

It is now, except for a day or two, halfway between the last time we were together and our next time which will be in the days after Christmas. If all goes according to plan we'll spend two nights together, at the home of one or another of her childhood friends.

Sarah had talked for years about eventually leaving her husband and now that she's having this fling with me she's more convinced than ever that she needs to get out of there. He's not physically abusive, but what he's done to her spirit through the years with his attitudes and the things he says is tragic. The ironic thing is that her time with me is giving her the conviction to get her ass in gear and to leave him - ironic because once she does leave there she'll need to find somebody who can love her the right way, and when she does I doubt that she's going to find somebody who'll say, "That's okay, honey. You can go off and make love with your old friend Joe when you want to."

In spite of enjoying so much these times I'm sharing with this sweet woman who's been my friend for nearly 30 years, when she finds it I'll need to encourage her to rush toward new love with open arms. For how she makes me feel when we're together and even in our daily talks, she deserves to be loved, and I want that for her. Meanwhile, I'll keep offering her my time and my own limited love because they matter to her and it makes me feel good to know that I make a difference to her.

I wanted my first time with Sarah because I wanted to know how Dee feels when she makes love with the guys she loves each in their own ways. I like how it makes me feel to be who I am to Sarah. I can't be everything to her, but I really love being who I am. We were close friends for a long time, but being even closer as we are now is truly special to us both.

I wrote much in the past about the series of coincidental happenings that had to have occurred just as they did, pretty much in the order they did, for Dee to have fulfilled my fantasy of seeing her make love with another man. In much the same way, it was even more coincidences added on to those others, that led Sarah to me as a lover at a time in my life when my marriage would allow such an arrangement. I feel blessed. I don't believe in "coincidence" that much. I feel guided, led, nudged. And for as good as I feel to the depth of my heart and soul, I believe with all of that same heart that it is Benevolence Himself Who leads me.

2 comments:

How ironic life is...you are there for someone and give them the love and support to be strong enough to do what they should have done years ago. And then do this unselfishly--knowing that even though it is the best for them--it will be the end of your special friendship. Joe, you are a true friend and lover. xoxo