How to "teach" her husband: why do we like to convert each other

About how to marry the best guy in the world, and the rest of his life to turn him into someone else writes journalist Леди.mail.ru.

I was riding the subway at rush hour. Forgot headphones at home, so listened to the people. And the girl, looming over me, shouting into the phone that was heard in the next car. "You know, where you can eat soup, like mom? Mom!!! And I don't like to cook. And dresses to wear will not, understand? He wear dresses, as I'm a person and love jeans!"

Foto: still from the film "Eight friends of Oushena"

The person in the jeans disappeared into the crowd at the station "Belorusskaya", and I imagined how it looks like the fan of soup. Average height, perhaps a stocky, somewhat bald, but bearded. Loves football and tanks, famously drives a car, being reconstructed through a series. Walking around in masculine trousers and with a smartphone, install on free apps and then they are constantly updating. Wife, he too will improve. To: a) relax and b) consistent with his ideas about the ideal. Well, for soup.

The man loves to play God. Or goddess. Re-create someone in their own patterns, to upgrade, to subjugate. First love what is, and then redo as you want. And call it beautiful, "I try for his sake!"

"I just wish he was beautiful-iwim!" — singsong voice said my neighbor Alain, when we ran into the garbage disposal. Alena's husband, Igor, and Igor's favorite plaid shirt. Cozy, soft, slightly distressed. And to her pants with pockets. It all went down the garbage chute in my eyes. Loving wife argued: "If I don't, Igor life takes place in an old rag. I can't let that happen. Bought him a fashionable wardrobe, make it look stylish". Plaid shirt sad waved his sleeve and disappeared into the bowels of the garbage disposal. That night I heard the neighbors were fighting and the stylish Igor screamed.

"I taught Tanya to the sport!" — boasted to my colleague Vitaly, a young man with the calf muscles, reminiscent of liquid apples. His wife Tanya, a round little blonde, married for love. Vitaly, unfortunately, not the sport. Besides a husband she loved to bake pastries, to watch the films of woody Allen and play with the kids. Wanted to get a cat of the Abyssinian breed. Of physical activity prefer long walks around the city and General cleaning.

I met them through the year. Wife just ran first marathon. Apples Vitaly has become a mini-watermelons, he was glowing with health and happiness, as the celebrant. And Tanya has decreased in two times. She was skinny and tired, if it pumped the air. Mumbled something about crossfit and jump rope. The topic of Apple pies and woody Allen is not supported, silently drinking water. I thought then the evil that would be better if Vitaly bought his wife a cat. It can be accustomed to the tray, if you really want someone to something to teach. And the benefit, and the joy of all parties involved, and it is not necessary to forcibly turn someone's life into an endless marathon.

Sometimes I feel sorry for all of us. Want to find your soul mate, the high ideal, the love of my life, and find ordinary people with flaws. What need the courage to admit it and still human to love! I like, love, accept, compose praises, but my head is still treacherous thoughts.

You are beautiful, my beloved, the eyes of a pigeon locks: thy hair... but with straight hair it would be better.

The light of my eyes... turn off the lights in the bathroom, I said a hundred times!

I write to you, what do bole, what more can I say... and can do. Take the Cup to the kitchen, buy me a house in the village and already read Pushkin instead of George Martin!

It is time, beauty, Wake up... at seven in the morning, not at eleven.

Oh man, I want to have your son... and want you to love series about the young dad became my dad, and gave me expensive gifts.

But the main gift that you can give a loved one, freedom. The freedom to be who he is and wants to be, freedom to draw conclusions and make decisions, the freedom to become better in natural conditions and on their own.

Here is the effective delegation of authority. The people are great. They can lose weight, learn Italian in two month, to find the space borscht recipe, buy light tower with a balcony on the sea. They change — but only when they desire.

Foto: still from the film "the Proposal"

A small child subjugates, his regime and his wits. An adult should not. No one is obliged to jump at your first peep, to entertain you and break yourself so you did not cry.

It is not necessary to sculpt an extrovert of introvert, romantic of pragmatics, larks from owls. Owl bird strong, can be overcome. Will come in the morning to the kitchen to see the sunrise, obscurite hooting and poking her paw in your sneaker instead of their. But will it be happy this ridiculous feathered yawning in the tiny Slippers with POM-poms? Or do you, in principle, no matter whether he is happy, most importantly — meet your expectations? Unlikely. You did it too, love all the POM-poms.

The time travelers are very careful. They know what is fraught with change. Crush a butterfly and somewhere far away an avalanche or a new born Hitler. We, people living today much easier. Reinvent your loved ones and hope that will do.

Don't understand what the lean man forced to overspend, no longer able to protect the family budget. That sensitive and vulnerable don't grow armor, and just will cry when no one sees. Natural slowpoke, which always hurry, no time to process information and make mistakes. That pressure creates fear, and fear — the need to lie. And that we will get or adapt a cross between an amoeba with a Golden Retriever, or the unfortunate twitched neurotic.

Well, or leave well enough alone. After all, a rare person would want to be with someone free and always updated app.

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