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How to remove the entitlement?

OK back to my 17 year old son. I'm really stuck. We cannot afford a boarding school (after seeing how much they cost) and he cannot go to military school (since the only ones we found were college prep).

So far, he is downstairs in the basement with hubby (and ruining my marriage btw) and I am on the main floor with the girls. I am so sick and tired of the lieing and stealing. He steals little crap for no reason. He gets fed 3 meals a day (if they are not involving the rest of the family) and he still steals a 4lb jar of peanut butter and eats it all at school at lunch. Or rips off burritos from the freezer (he learned how to break into it even though it locks) and eats them on the bus KNOWING his sisters ride the same bus.

He lies constantly too. Today it was "I broke my glasses in gym". First of all, he doesn't have gym. Secondly I spoke to my girls and he takes his glasses off on the bus and shoves them in his pocket and then leaves them there until he gets home. No wonder he goes through them like a toddler would go through crystal goblets.

I am so frustrated, so upset, so stressed out. I don't know how to deal with him. Sorry if this is scatterbrained, but that's how bad I am. I don't sleep anymore (3 hours a night if I'm lucky) and rarely feel good. I'm not depressed, but just ready to give up on him.

As far as kicking him out at 18, I would prefer not, because honestly, I don't believe he would make it. I'm afraid he is going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and end up dead in a ditch somewhere. He's mouthy and a coward.

I think the only option is to kick him out at 18. My belief is - when he turns 18, if your daughter gets sick again and her doctor blames your DS, you can get into trouble for not protecting your MINOR daughter over your ADULT son. He's ruining your marriage, your daughter's health, your sanity. I think it's the only option and if he gets assualted or hurt, maybe that'll be the lesson he needs to learn to know that he CAN'T always get his own way and it might "set him straight"

I am sorry you have to go threw this, I do believe tough love is the only way. These teens today feel they can and do what ever that want but this is a perfect example of what society has done to our children, these kids are left in a no win world!

Get him into some kind of counseling before he turns 18. He probably should have started it awhile ago. Some places will charge on a sliding scale. Don't give up on him-he is your son. Maybe he acts out because he feels the way you think about him. Good Luck.

Over eating and taking his glasses off. The stealing is only food? Sounds like he is very unhappy... Possibly an eating disorder. Is he overweight? Have you at least tried therapy? Health insurance might pay for that.

Was he unhappy about you getting married? Does he get along with step dad?

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