Journey To The Aisle

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So here I am now as Mrs. Ndichu! It is amazing because I have only ever been called Ms. Mbugua for decades, but I like how my new title feels. It is like a clean slate, a new identity but I am still very much Janet.

I have never been a fan of wedding talk or all the fuss and pomp that comes with it. But I had my wedding (with the same pomp and I colour I had often found over-the-top!), loved my wedding and learned a lot from it.

THE TEN THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY WEDDING:

1. Budget – Have a budget and try as much as possible to stick within its bracket. Point to note: if your budget supersedes what you or your partner earn in a year, you're not being very smart about cost. Think of your life BEYOND the wedding day. There'll be tones of expenses to deal with, so don't go broke planning a wedding, in a way that will make you struggle to get by for the rest of the year.

2. Wedding Planner – Choose your Planner wisely! A Wedding Planner coordinates all the different aspects of the Wedding with the help of a Committee. A disorganized Wedding Planner can easily ruin your Wedding Day. Take time to ask your Networks for likely Candidates and interview each one to ensure that they meet with your expectations.

3. Pregnant and Planning a Wedding – If pregnant and planning a wedding, be sure to have a great team around you in case you're too fatigued to carry out some of the planning yourself. The one thing that I feel a bit bad about is that I was sick throughout most of the planning for my wedding day, I let a lot of things slip because I just didn't have the energy to attend key meetings or run around to ensure certain things where running smoothly (thus the importance of getting a great Wedding Planner!). Alternatively, wait until you've had the baby, settle down a bit and then plan the wedding. Do what works for you!

4. Committee? Yes? No? Maybe? – Decide early on if you want a Committee or not. Some people prefer to just go with a Wedding Planner, which is fine, but a Committee can also help you keep check of what's happening on the ground on the day, particularly if you have a large wedding. We had a great Committee and are still so grateful to them for helping us make our Wedding day a success!

5. Bridal Wear – There are quite a few local Designers who are making Wedding Gowns. We went with local designers (in Kenya and abroad) for our Gown as well as our Bridal Party wear. On the up side, if you choose a local Designer you can constantly make changes and keep check of how the outfits are progressing and you also end up empowering our Creative Industry. You can however go with a Gown and Suit from aboard and make the changes at home. Either way, do what makes sense for you.

6. Destination or Not – Choose early on if you want to have a destination wedding or one where you live. I always knew I'd have a destination wedding, as did my husband. There are pluses and minuses to this. On the plus side, you get to choose a scenic venue that sums up your dream destination. But that depends on whether or not you'll be inviting many people. Remember that a destination wedding can also be expensive, especially if you're inviting many people.

7. Handling Family Drama – Now it goes without saying that most weddings have a lot of drama going on behind the scenes. Think about it; two families are coming together, with their different value systems, views on life, levels of exposure. This can get heated. Bottom line is, from very early on, learn what each side of the family is willing to bring to the table. While it's tradition that the Groom's side should foot the entire bill, times have changed. It's ok for the Bride's side to chip in. But this SHOULD be agreed upon early on so as to manage expectations. If from very early on you can see that certain family members are not particularly keen on helping out financially on the day, then decide whether you'd rather keep it intimate so as to manage finances, or find financing from somewhere else. But this is VERY crucial.

8. Grooming and Vendors – Be sure to have done hair and make up trials early on to decide who you'd want to work with on the day. Be fussy and specific. It's your day so don't compromise or listen to people trying to tell you how you should look. Regarding vendors, agree early on on the rates and agree on when you'll clear their payments. It's not fun to have your honeymoon interrupted with people asking when you'll clear their balance. You tell them to give you a week or two, even more, to reconcile the payments. Alternatively, you can organize your finances and pay them immediately after the wedding. To all vendors; the well being and peaceful state of mind of the Couple is very important and the day is about them. If they've wronged you or made you unhappy for one reason or the other, wait until AFTER the wedding to talk to them about it. Do NOT settle scores with the Couple before their wedding. It can throw them off.

9. Pray – A friend of ours gave us this advice; as a Couple, the day before your wedding, hold hands and pray with each other and for each other. Reassure each other and ease each other's anxiety. It made a world of a difference for us. We were really relaxed and on the same page on our wedding day and I know that prayer gave us that perspective.

10. No matter what, smile. Be happy. Those pictures and memories are for life so don't let the fact that your decor wasn't the sky blue you had in mind or that the center pieces you ordered didn't come out as you'd wanted, affect your day. Yes, these are terribly unfortunate situations, given that you may have spent so much time planning and putting your vision together. But that morning, make a decision to be happy no matter what. That's truly what got me through my day.

Thank You:

Wachira Waruru for being such a gracious Host and inviting us to hold our Wedding Ceremony and Reception at Chaka Ranch, Nyeri. www.chakaranch.com

The Staff of Chaka Ranch led by Reuben Kagai for providing wonderful and timely service during the Pre-Wedding planning and Wedding Day.

Pastor David Kabibi of Nairobi Chapel for officiating over our Wedding Ceremony in such a lively and honest manner.

129 Discussion to this post

I’m almost tearing. The gown, the spectacular setting, the maids and everything else is breathtaking. I must say your journey got me thinking deeply. If it doesn’t work with your budget then it simply doesn’t work for you. wedding is more like a pass to your marriage. I’m impressed Mrs. Ndichu! An awesome piece it is.

Wow !! Janet you are an Inspiration , Point no 9 Wins it….9. Pray – A friend of ours gave us this advice; as a Couple, the day before your wedding, hold hands and pray with each other and for each other. Reassure each other and ease each other’s anxiety. It made a world of a difference for us. We were really relaxed and on the same page on our wedding day and I know that prayer gave us that perspective.

Thanks Janet for sharing your story, you are such an inspiration.I have always loved the way you present yourself in news and the seriousness you have in your career.I'm married ,mother of two and enjoying my marriage.The secret behind this has been PRAYERS ,PRAYERS and PRAYERS.My dear dont tire to keep God first and you will suceed.I wish you God's blessings in your marriage and a smooth pregnancy .Great Work

Hi Janet, you inspire me big time, i like your approach on life and been following you keenly. i like your seriousness with your career and have learnt alot from you. You are a lady who respects herself and your blog is a good way of letting people know you deeper. as a lady who wants to settle down one day i am inspired by your take on how you handled your wedding and am impressed we have similar traits on a lot of areas. as i climb my career ladder i also hope one day i will be an inspiration to other ladies. Thanks girl i respect you. baraka

Hi Janet, you inspire me big time, i like your approach on life and been following you keenly. i like your seriousness with your career and have learnt alot from you. You are a lady who respects herself and your blog is a good way of letting people know you deeper. as a lady who wants to settle down one day i am inspired by your take on how you handled your wedding and am impressed we have similar traits on a lot of areas. as i climb my career ladder i also hope one day i will be an inspiration to other ladies. Thanks girl i respect you big time. baraka

Hi Janet,at first i didnt like the idea and fuss about weddings but after reading your journey,it made me long for the big day. I hope it comes soon.Thanks for your story and please continue empowering women

thanks Janet for sharing Ur Journey. I got married an year ago the same date as you. I can’t agree more that I did learn the same lessons when.planning for my big day
Brides and Grooms should learn to do wat they want during their wedding and remember that it’s not about wat other pple want.It’s abt the 2 off U. Had a private wedding 20 persons. It was strictly a Nuclear Family affair.Planning had its challenges but that Was My Dream Wedding.Once again thanks for sharing your story

Wish you all the best in your marriage life, and i like your humbleness for adopting the new name { Mr.s Ndichu } owing to the fact that your now ”former” name { Ms Mbugua } is really a big name in this country #bigup

Thank you very much Janet for sharing your journey with me. Am inspired, I can’t stop reading it. Am also planing to do my wedding on December, have learned lot. I love everything about you janet. Keep empowering you girls and God will bless you abundantly. My role model forever.

Woow,,,I just like what am reading,, keep it up Janet,,aside from being the news anchor we all know and love,,we know you have a life too.Thank you for letting me be part of this journey through your blog#janetthejourney