Corbyn demands no cap on unskilled migration so he can fill his shadow cabinet

The Labour party is to oppose a cap on unskilled workers as they need to get new members for their front bench from somewhere, they have announced today.

The party is facing a skills shortage at senior levels after many of their most experienced members turned down a demand to reapply for their jobs for what would inevitably be a short-term contract.

The shortage became worse after the leader banned zero-hours contracts, which is about as long as several members of his defence and economics teams have lasted.

“Without a regular influx of new people we simply cannot fill the vacancies which constantly appear across the front bench”, Corbyn told reporters.

“Unskilled migration has proven a real benefit to the party; for example Emily Thornberry moved from Surrey to Islington to take a new job.

“If you want proof that Labour stands up for people who lack skills or talent, just take a look at our Shadow Ministers.”

However the Conservatives have responded by pledging to force Labour to supply a list the members of the Shadow Cabinet, leading to some MPs being concerned at being named and shamed as serving under Corbyn.

“We plan to reduce the labour vote to the low tens of thousands every year during this parliament, and we’d be grateful if they’d stick to their current policy which is proving immensely helpful”, said a spokesman for CCHQ.