Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Things I love and hate at the same time

1. Million Dollar ListingExplanation: I haven't watched real TV in months. Sure, during the Olympics I became temporarily addicted to watching things that I would never watch normally, like volleyball and dirt biking, but during that time, I never strayed from channels 5 and 99. And before that it had been weeks since I'd spent 4 hours after work on the couch watching whatever, in my elastic waist pants. Which is weird because I used to do that all the time. But something about reading more frequently coupled with nice weather helped me to break this habit. But then yesterday a number of things happened at the same time- it rained, it was cold, it got dark at like 5:00, I was tired, Jeff had to work late, and I had just finished my book. These circumstances led me to turn the TV on at 7:30pm or so, and I did not turn it off until 11:00pm. During this time I discovered what is simultaneously the most hideous and most fantastic show ever- Million Dollar Listing. I love it and I hate it so much! Those guys are such tools! But I couldn't tear my eyes away. Something you might not know about me is that I do the BEST impressions of people. I think I was a parrot in my former life. For real. I wish I could record a sound bite of me doing an impression of Chad because it would be SPOT ON. And awesome. I'd like it even better if it could be a video and I could wear my hair like him and dress like a total douche like he does.

2. ExiledExplanation: This was another TV Land discovery last night. This show is on MTV and features spoiled youngsters who are uprooted and exiled to remote parts of the world to learn from a new culture. HAHAHAHAHA. This show is so terrible. I was PISSED that I only caught the last 10 minutes of Amanda trying to make it in Africa, carrying water on her head, making huts out of cow dung and getting bit by bugs. Then she calls her Dad using this satellite phone to say (again an audio byte would be very helpful here because I could do a gooood impression of this), "Daaad, this sucks, I like totally hate it here. They tried to make me touch POOO! I just wanna (hiccup, sob) come home." Oh Amanda, how I love to watch you suffer. I hate myself for loving this show.

3. Let's Keep this FunkyExplanation: While flipping channels last night during the commercials, I saw a confrontation between Puff P Diddy Daddy (whatever) and a woman on some TV show. They were rehashing an old business argument and when the woman started to get pissed, Diddy Daddy said, "Hey. Hey! Let's keep this funky okay, let's keep this funky". At which point the woman gets more pissed and says something like, "Oh I'm keeping it funky, YOU better keep it funky." This was all said in a very serious manner, like the way someone else would say, "Okay guys, let's keep this civil". Next time Jeff and I get in a debate about something, I'm going to ask him to keep it funky. He will hate it but I will love it.

4. TwilightExplanation: Yesterday on my way home from work I swung by B&N and picked up the first two books in the Twilight series for my upcoming vacation. Then at 11:00pm after finally turning off the TV, I cracked the first book open. And oh how I hate myself for loving this book already.

Hahha I totally understand. Haven't seen those show (thankfully) but it's like a train wreck, isn't it? Horrible but you can't stop watching. And I'm right there with you on the whole Twilight thing. It's quite embarrasing that I like it.

A little research in the Urban Dictionary taught me that "keep it funky" is a street phrase meaning "tell the truth", i.e. "I'm sorry I said you look fat in those pants, I was just trying to keep it funky."