Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

let them go from your misery?

Should I let him go? my husband. He stays because of the kids. But I bring him down. He is warped in my hell. He is so miserable because of me. I know he would be happier without me. He is so mean to the kids sometimes and I think its because of me. He is stressed out by my fucked up life and he takes it out on the kids. I'm ruining his life. should I let him go? leave him so he can move on? find a normal woman who would treat him right and actually love him? I'm ruining his life and the life of my kids because this kind of bullshit always happens and I seem unable to control it. So is it really worth it?? Worth it to live for those maybe 3 good months out of the year? get maybe three normal months where you feel good, where you are good, where your a good mommmy just to be living in misery once again? I spend most of the year miserable and fucked up. So what is the point?? I will never have a normal life.

Never say never!
Hey, you talk about ruining his life, what is he doing to yours and the kids. Don't put it all on you. You don't make him be mean to the kids, that's his issue. Don't be so hard on yourself....

It is your husband's choice to leave...just like it is his choice to take out his frustration out on the kids...If you are doing everything you can to manage your illness, then he should meet you halfway(if he has that capacity) Take care of yourself first and then let him decide if it is worth sticking around...the only thing you can control is your own feelings and actions...don't take all the blame for things you cannot control...hope that this is helpful.

It takes 2 people to make a marriage work. Its' his decision to stay as well...you both need to decide together what's best...maybe a counselor can give you both better coping mechanisms....an illness is always hard on any relationship. I'm no expert but you have kids so its a tough decision....

wow I looked twice to see if I wrote this... I am sticking it out and better days are slowly coming. I know I need to stay on meds, be better to myself and take at least some responsibility for my actions so now he doesn't feel I am making his life hell, and niether do I. If he loves you and you love him it will work out. We told the kids and they didn't think he was to hard on them so maybe I just saw it that way. Look at it from others perspective. You never know what you might see.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and it really does sound like an extremely bad situation, judging by your journal.
But you also say that you were 'recently diagnosed'.
It's sometimes takes a long time and can be very difficult to find a successful course of meds. It's possible that you will be able to get to a much better place than you are now, if you can just hang in there and keep trying!!!
Make sure you have an excellent Pdoc, who really knows how to treat this disorder and I would strongly recommend that you take your husband with you when you see the Pdoc. Have him try to give your husband a deeper understanding into just what this disorder does and what treatments there are to be tried and what he can do to help with your treatment. And I would also suggest that you get yourselves into therapy, again with someone who is specifically trained in this area.
No amount of talk therapy is going to make your BP go away, but it can most certainly help you to better deal with it!!!
I wish things were better than they are between you and your husband and perhaps the therapy can help with that as well.
The most important thing, of course, is the well-being of your children. As it stands now, it doesn't sound as though you are up to taking care of them by yourself and that makes it even more crucial that your husband learn to not be abusive to them!!!
I hope you avail yourself to every possible avenue of help!!! You may never have a 'normal' life, but you may be able to achieve a much better and happier one than you are having right now!!!
The best of luck to you and your family!!!
Take care!!

Don't worry about what your doing to HIS life-you have to concentrate on you and your kids lives (I know when you love someone thats easier said than done). He can make the choice of how he reacts and behaves to the issuses you all have-he chooses to vent on the kids,he chooses to be miserable0you cannot choose the way he behaves,you can choose if you want to put up with it or how long you let it affect you and your kids.I don't want to sound harsh,but I just went through this myself and fought for my marriage for two years of pure living hell where everything was my fault and his horrible behavior all stemmed from me-when it got to be to bad on the kids I left-and wow-I could breathe,I could smile and I had one less thing to feel guilty about.And I saw how much damage had occurred to all of us that I didn't see happening when I was in it. Best wishes and hugs.

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