the powers that be

Something I wrote for english class. Assignment: "Write about an experience that happened to you at the age of five or younger that shaped the person you are today." It's nothing fancy:

The Powers That Be

The first school I attended was some sort of religion-based school, overrun with pictures of Jesus and other biblical images. I don’t remember if I ever really noticed those pictures; I was too young to care. I never really understood God or heaven or life; as far back as I can remember I was completely confused. I still am.

The thing about this school that changed me forever was the teachers. I completely hated seeing their faces; I hated when they spoke to me; they always told me to do things that I didn’t know how to do. One thing I remember clearly was when we all drew pictures. Either we drew pictures or we added color to printed pictures; I can’t remember for sure what we did. This one teacher would always tell me to “fill in all the white area.” Every time I went to show a picture she would get irritated and tell me to fill in more. I didn’t know what to do to be honest. All I remember is that it wasn’t fun. I don’t recall ever having fun back in preschool and kindergarten. We had music classes. We never really learned anything about music, we only sang didactic songs repeatedly until we sang them “right.” I absolutely hated that time every day. I remember getting out of it once and I never felt happier.

All of these events made me distrust all of my teachers. Why were they so annoying? Why did they always make you feel like shit? I thought they were supposed to be helpful, nice, or caring. The one time that one of my teachers was nice to me was when I tripped and gashed my forehead on this metal bar. I had to get stitches. My mom was on her way and my teacher held me until I stopped crying or something. I think I passed out at one point. Now that I look back at it now I can tell she just didn’t want any trouble with my parents. Anyway, over the years this distrust faded away. After kindergarten, when I went to the public elementary school, my teachers were, for the most part, amazing. I still have some distrust in me, but it’s applied to everyone.

I just never learned to like authority. If someone was held higher than me I would automatically go against them. I think differently now, but for a long time I was a little anarchist going against the world, one lunch lady at a time.