Virgins Can Get Pregnant

May 09, 1986|By Abigail Van Buren.

Dear Abby: I am a 19-year-old college student, and even though I`ve dated quite a bit, I`m rather naive about sex. I am still a virgin and hope to remain one until I marry. Don`t get me wrong, I`m no ``Goody Two Shoes,`` but I don`t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy.

I`m dating a guy right now who has been around. He knows how I feel about sex before marriage, so he`s never pressured me to go all the way, but I`ve come closer with him than I have with any other guy. I`m ashamed to tell you how far we`ve gone, but I`m still a virgin (I think).

A long time ago you explained how a virgin could get pregnant. I`m sorry I didn`t save it, but I never dreamed I`d need it.

Well, last night I was with this guy and things really got out of hand. Everything happened so fast. Please run that piece again about how a virgin can get pregnant. I`m worried.

B., St. Paul

Dear B.: The piece is from my booklet, ``What Every Teenager Ought to Know.`` Many junior and senior high school teachers wrote to say that they had read it aloud to their students:

How To Get Pregnant

One of the questions I have been asked often by teens is: ``How far can I go without getting pregnant?``

That is not a dumb question. It`s a very intelligent one. A lot of kids get aroused by just lying close to each other while kissing. Then they just naturally proceed to the next step, which is petting.

Sometimes they remove some of their clothing because it`s ``in the way,`` or they burrow underneath it to explore each other`s bodies with their hands. This is known as heavy petting, or ``doing everything else but.``

The technical (and legal) definition of sexual intercourse is

``penetration.`` (The male`s sex organ must penetrate the female`s.)

However, as impossible as it may sound, in the medical literature can be found cases where there has been no penetration--the girl remained a virgin, but after engaging in heavy petting, she found herself pregnant.

How can that be? Simple.

The boy and girl were lying very close to each other (unclothed), doing

``everything but,`` when a small amount of sperm leaked out . . . near (not inside, but very close to) the girl`s vagina. The sperm got into the moisture around the vagina and found its way up into it, and fertilized the egg!

Dear Abby: Seven years ago I had an abortion. At the time it was the only way out of a very bad situation. (It was either that, or suicide.) I am a baptized Catholic, so I know that I was automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church when I had the abortion. I haven`t been to church since.

I want so much to confess and receive some kind of absolution, but I can`t face going to the confessional. I`m afraid the priest will throw me out and ask me not to return.

Will you please ask one of your priest friends if there is some way to return to the church after excommunication? I am sure there are other Catholics who would like to know.

Tormented Soul

Dear Tormented: Go to confession. The priest will not throw you out. A Catholic is forgiven the sin when he or she truly repents. If you lack the courage to face your own parish priest, go to another parish.