Wow, angsty stuff. I really hate how Yoruichi did abandon her, and we never hear her answer when she answers Soifon's question of "Why didn't you take me with you?". I hope you write more of these two :)

I like this, I really do. You captured Soi Fong's mindset perfectly; I thought the bold terms were a particularly nice touch. Hard as it is to write someone as stoic as Soi Fong, you did it well. Excellent job.