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Friday, 26 March 2010

Cold Toads (the things we do for love)

I certainly can't claim this as an original, but if it provokes an original laugh or smile I'll consider my efforts worth something...

'So let me offer you, at about fourth hand, quite the most enjoyable item of news to come my way during the past week.

I heard it from my colleague Libby Purves, who read it in The Times newspaper, which got it ultimately from Dr L. Fairchild of Duke University in North Carolina and it concerns toads.

The female toad, unaware of spiritual values, likes her mate big. But because she normally pairs in the dark, she has only one way of judging. The bigger the toad, the deeper his croak. However, there's a complicating factor, because a cold toad gives a deeper croak. Male toads therefore cunningly make for the coldest corner of the pond to deepen their croaks, and a female, who thinks she is mating with a large, warm toad may in fact have been deceived by a small, cold one.

However, things do not stop there. Since all the male toads are trying to chill off as much as possible, the large ones tend to win in the end and take over the cold spot. Indeed, says Dr Fairchild, many of the smallest toads are forced right out of the pond and are obliged to sit on the bank where (since it is warmer out of the water than in, even in North Carolina) the small toads' croaking becomes even shriller and less enticing.

But there is still some consolation for the warm weaklings. For in order to get into the pond the females do, of course, have to run the gauntlet on the bank where, says Dr Fairchild, the small males make the most of their opportunities. It shouldn't be long before the large toads learn to lurk on the bank and shut up. The problem now is how to...'

And there it is. The terrible trials of the toad and his interminable attempt to get his tail over (if toads have tails, that is).

The following videos have only tenuous connections with the above story, but they DO involve toads, so don't expect anything more...