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Full Text

THE SHIPiEL
VOLUME 3 ISSUE 4

Tension Torments Old City

JOSH FLEET The Old City sky smoked
and swirled with stones, tear
gas, and heavy accusations this
past week. Tensions have re-
mained relatively high because
S of an Israeli plan to repair the
Mugrabi Ascent to the Temple
Mount, a ramp which collapsed
in 2004 from antiquity and bad weather. The ramp's
close proximity to the Dome of the Rock and the Al Aqsa
Mosque seems a sore spot for Muslim residents of the Old
City and world alike.
The Temple Mount, or Noble Sanctuary as it is
known to Muslims, and the question of who has sov-
ereignty over it, has been a common theme in political
discourse since the state of Israel was established by the
United Nations in 1948. When Ariel Sharon visited the
site in 2000, in an effort to convey such sovereignty, the
second intifada erupted.
While many dispute this claim as coincidence alone,
the event was certainly used at the time to incite Palestin-
ian anger and violence throughout the tumultuous period.
Little seems to have changed.
On Feb. 9, clashes between Palestinians and Israeli
police officers ensued following Palestinian protest of cur-
rent excavations by the Antiquities Authority which have
been carried out as a prerequisite to the proposed construc-
tion plan. After stones and bottles were thrown at Israeli
officers, the demonstration was quelled with tear gas and
stun grenades, sending thick clouds and angry shouts into
the sky. Seventeen Palestinians and 19 Israeli officers suf-
fered minor injuries, while 17 Palestinians were arrested
for their involvement.
A day later, relative quiet took hold of the Old City,
with- a few minor incidents of stone throwing and tire-
burning. In Bethlehem though, 30 Palestinians were ar-
rested following clashes with Israeli police.
On Feb. 11, conflicting decrees came from varying
bodies of Israeli government. Prime Minister Ehud 01-
miert,. during the weekly cabinet meeting; approved the
construction plan, citing the footbridge in question lay
.outside of the Muslim religious site in a location "abso-
lutely under our sovereignty."

CONTINUED ON PAGE 7

What Sucks About Israel
LEO STEIN Israel, the "land of milk and
honey," is a spiritually brilliant
M area for many faiths. The history
g and foundations are filled with
S' B so many stories that it seems im-
8 possible not to get excited about
Coming here. However, there's a
whole lot more about Israel than
just its holy'walls.
Plenty of American Jews return from their Birthright
Israel trips with the perspective that Israel is Utopia. And
that's precisely what the Birthright workers want them to
come back thinking. However, if one should live in Israel

for a good period of time, he or she would find out there's
plenty that sucks about this country.
The driving. My god, I'd settle for smelly horses be-
fore choosing this kind of transportation. The drivers take
out their frustrations with life on the road. While waiting
for a light, horns beep. They beep before it's even green,
just to remind you (in case you've been living in a cave)
that green means go.
No one gives his or her fellow citizens the upper hand;
you'll never get the go-ahead to change lanes. Oh, and
good luck crossing the street as a pedestrian.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 4

The Gainesville
Lowdown
-Jewish event calendar

Valen Stein's Day
revised

......666.6.666.666

Kosher dark meat
-An hlorna-r to black Jews

Political Voyeurism...
take a peak

- 6

Bristles and brushes
battle against AIDS
-UF students formn s\uzaID
We really do ow n the
media
-.IT,\ -\posed
*

* 6

*

oppons

AI

JOSHKALLER Ladies: L

ri Testesterone, mustaches,
beer bellies, and five o'clock
shadows are features absent
from today's top leaders. They
modestly boast grace, intelli-
gence, strength, wisdom...and
breasts. With the advancement
of womnn's responsibilities in politics, sports, religion,
media and medicine, our futures never seemed so charm-
ing or sexy.
These women cannot be underestimated. As they
place mascara with one hand, they balance the burdens
of the free world on the other. One such woman, Kansas
Governor Kathleen Sebelius is the appointed head of the
Democratic Governors Association. "Results trump la-
bels," she said. They also trump gender too.
And across the hemisphere Segolene Royal waits to
swoop up Chirac's chair in France. Her style and sense
of fashion has turned the politics in France into a frenzy.
The Socialist Party loves her. They must, because they
nominated her as their next presidential candidate. With
a nice backing like that, she can safely say she's a Social-
ist-Socialites. Since her nomination, the Eiffel Tower was
reported to have grown two inches.

(opHorns

ead On

But how can we dare forget Hillary? With her strong
political standing, good grace, and no-bull attitude, she
is sure to be tough competition in the 2008 election. As
of now she holds Washington by its two cherries. With a
touch of pink, the Whitehouse will never look so good.
The political arena boasts female gladiators, but so
too is the religious front. Two very large religious groups
have elected women as the leaders of their factions for the
first time. Katharine Jefferts Schori,.once oceanographer,
is now the elected Bishop of the U.S. branch of the An-
glican church, which holds over two million congregants.
Also, the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) rests
its faith on Ingrid Mattson. Leader to one of the largest
religious groups in N. America, the ISNA is hoping Ingrid
can design and implement the outreach an education plans
of the organization. It is her duty to demystify the attitude
that Muslims are an "untrusted minority". With the face
of a woman fronting for Mohammed's nation, perhaps she
can dictate the change.
What is certain is that women are everywhere. Kim
Ng looks destined to be the first general manager of a pro-
fessional baseball team. Currently the assistant manager to
the LA Dodgers, her abilities as an organizer and manger
have not gone unnoticed. Dr. Nora Volkow has become the

director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. Lara Lo-
gan, once a model, has become CBS's chief foreign corre-
spondent. And in the Bronx, an urban planner by the name
of Majora Carter has revolutionized the South Bronx area
with her green works project. Recipient of millions of dol-
lars in grants and funds, she is transforming gray to green
with her grassroot projects.
Four score and eight years ago, women were de-
prived of basic inalienable rights as equals. But there is
something happening now. Leaders are looking different,
or we are looking differently at leaders. Women bare the
burden of heavy responsibilities now. Entire nations and
groups are tied to their achievements and their failures. It
is my best prediction, and hope, that women will take rise
as co-rulers to this world. With the current trend headed in
this direction, it is only a matter of time before "Orthodox"
Judaism will follow suit too. Once there is female rabbi
ordained with an Orthodox stamp, a full circle of suffrage
will be achieved.
As men rage war, women wage peace. Ladies,
please, bear the weight of our worries. Take them from us,
lift them from our shoulders. Men have held the hill for a
while, now it's your turn.

could not imagine ignoring the desti-
tute and impoverished.
mSo how does one find a Judaism
that is geared specifically for the unique
soI-am-my-own-person, there-are-parts-
of-me-that-cannot-be-communally-
L shared aspects of himself or herself?
SPurim, coming up Mar. 3, is just one
example of Jewish life that straddles
tMy atheist friend both worlds: focusing on the masses while giving space
made a good point for individual experience. The communal component is
He said, "I con- that there are Purim-specific mitzvot of giving gifts to
insider myself a deep per- fiends and helping the needy. Speaking more to the in-
thson, so I don't feel any dividual, there is another side to Purim.
Seed to go to temple or Purim was the original keg party, the birth of all
get involved with reli- drinking games, and the mentor to the heightened-con-
gious life. In fact, most Jewish life I have beenexposed sciousness of the 1960s. All of these offspring have for-
to seems like it is for thelmasses. It is not about ME, it is gotten their predecessor, yet if you listen carefully, you
about some sort of organized group experience some- can still hear the reverberations of their Purim ancestry.
thing I could care less about. The whole Jewish thing The mitzvah o Purim is for each individual to transform
is not about my individual connection, it is about doing his or her consciousness until it is no longer possible to
things as a group. I have had many more 'spiritual' expe- distinguish between blessing Mordecai (the Purim story
riences taking a walk in the woods, listening to music or hero) and cursing Haman (the Purim story villain). Our
even doing things in other religions. In general, I think tradition wisely counsels us to reach this undifferentiated
organized religion sucks. I would rather live out my awareness through drinking alcohol.* By definition, this
own life and my own religiousness. I don't need or want process will be different for each person. In fact, only by
some system dictating to me a prescription for what is exercising our power of self reflection and exploration
meaningful and what is not." can we hope to fulfill this mitzvah.
Well then. I also happen to think organized religion In conclusion, no doubt there is a crappy side to
sucks. You can't get away fromthe fact that religious organized religion: the part that might speak to other
fervor has been the cause of mass murder and destruc- people but not to me personally. In Judaism, there is also
tion throughout history. Judaism is also at its worst when the added dimension of an experience that speaks to the
it is behaving like organized religion. I mean to say that individual and demands a personalizing for the sake of
there is an inherent problem that any system encounters pushing along our internal evolution.
when attempting to be applied to hoards of people. Ul-
timately, it will be set up to address the masses, and it
will generally carry with it messages and values for the Good Purim!
masses. Individual needs and concerns often get left in Rabbi Yonah
the cold.
We need to find a balance between something that
can speak to "all" and something that can address the Please send comments orfuture topics to Rabbi Yonah at
complexities of each person. Big government has the ravyonah@uhillel.org
same problem. Our legislating bodies seek out the low-
est common denominator in determining public regula-
tions. This way, they hit the greatest swath of societal Our tradition also advises that this state can be reached
norms without having to custom legislate for each mem- by the act of sleep. (This is effective, but not as much
ber of society. The result is that we have vehicle speed- fun).
ing limits which reduce road fatalities even though a fair
number of drivers could safely and responsibly handle
navigating at 80 mph. Jews are commanded to give a
fixed percentage of our earnings to charity in order to
remind us of the incredibly important value of looking
out for the welfare of others, even though there are, many
people out there who, out the goodness of their hearts,

A Response to Jimmy Carter's Critics
By Ryan Feinberg
I remember two things from my visit to the
Carter Center in Atlanta several years ago: a statue
and a photograph. The statue stands on the grounds
outside of the Center and depicts an African boy
leading a blind man with a stick. The man has On-
chocerciasis, or river blindness, a parasitic disease
which afflicts some of the world's poorest people.
The image that the statue captures is commonplace
in countries where river blindness is widespread, as
children end up becoming the caretakers in commu-
nities where adults frequently lose their vision. The
statue pays tribute to the ongoing efforts of the Cart-
er Center to eradicate this disease through its River
Blindness Program.
The photograph that I remember from my
visit to the Carter Center is on display in the Jimmy
Carter Presidential Library and depicts Israeli Prime
Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President
Anwar Sadat looking each other in the eyes and smil-
ing, while standing outside of President Carter's cab-
in at Camp David. The photograph was taken dur-
ing the twelve days in September of 1978 when the
three world leaders met to discuss the possibility of
ending the raging hostilities-and perhaps achieving
peace-between Israel and Egypt. Those Camp Da-
vid meetings culminated in the signing of the Camp
David Accords, a peace agreement that has lasted be-
tween the former enemies to this day.
It is because of this statue and this photo-
graph at the Carter Center, as well as Jimmy Carter's
life of good deeds as 'a public servant and private
citizen, that I am saddened by the response of many
people in the Jewish community to his most recent
book, "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid." Although
there are significant exceptions, this response has
been largely hostile, and has included the resigna-
tion of 14 members of the Carter Center Board of
Councilors, as well as accusations that Carter is
anti-Semitic. In my opinion, much of this response
fails to distinguish between the positive and nega-
tive elements of Carter's argument, and goes too far
by attacking the Carter Center and President Carter
himself, in addition to his argument.
Unfortunately, the last issue of The Shpiel
contained such an attack in the form of David Dre-
scher's opinion piece on President Carter's book.
Though Drescher never calls Jimmy Carter an anti-
Semite, his seemly objective critique of Carter's
book quickly unravels into a blatant attack on Carter
himself, which is both unfortunate and deeply flawed
from a rhetorical standpoint. On the surface, Dre-
scher is right that "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid"
contains inaccuracies and oversimplifications. Like
him, I agree that the book does not do an adequate
job of uncovering the roots of the conflict between
the Israelis and Palestinians. And like Dresher, I
strongly disagree with comparisons between the
policies of the Israeli government and South African
apartheid.

CONTINUED ON PAGE 8

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Snews '.. .str

SSRamblings from a Reader:
chtupping in the Shtetl: Hollywood, Here I Come

Full-Frontal Jewdity

BY MOXIE MEYDL

You know that
,'- dream where you're in
school or some other
:A public place and all
P your clothes fall off?
Well that's what
Sporting your profile on
S.. a dating Web site feels
like.
At first, I went on
JDate as a joke. Be-
cause I'm fairly new in
town, I wanted to check
out the merch; see what
kinds of single Jewish guys this town had to offer. But the
olly person I was really kidding was myself.
I'll admit it now- JDate became something I looked for-
ward to in the morning. Wrap up in a robe, pour myself a
bowl of Kashi, log in and see who viewed my profile, how
many "hot-listed" me, et cetera.
I even convinced a guy friend, a recent UF grad who
moved to New York, to join. We'd compete for most IM's
from JDaters, most flirts or most e-cards.
We also traded creepy JDater stories. One girl told myu
friend she was "looking to fall in love" during their very first
conversation. A 39-year-old dude from California messaged
me and tried to get me to have phone sex, and another quit
talking to me when he found out I wasn't a sorostitute.
A few days later, my friend surpassed me. He got more
than five flirts' a day from intelligent, attractive Jewesses
while I only got ogled by nebbishy fortysomethings.
Was it because my friend is more attractive? Heck no.
But it was definitely to his advantage that he got to put
"New York" as his location. In a place with such a large Jew-
ish population, it would take you weeks of adamant searching
to run into the profile of someone you recognized.
While there is a large Heeb population in Gainesville,
there are only a handful of JDate profiles to pick through.
UF has such a close-knit, core group of Jews that it seems
there's no need for JDate. Everyone already knows everyone
else, and everyone's already dating or dated one another..
It was awkward to go to Hillel and recognize someone
who viewed my profile.
A guy would look familiar and then it'd click- "Ah yes,
that's the JDater who said he liked 'football' and 'having a
good time."' You know, really generic things like that.
JDate is a great site and I'm sure it brings many couples
together, but dating services just seem kind of sad and de-
grading.
They bark, "I've reduced my entire person into a few sen-
tences on a profile just to get some Kosher ass, that's how
desperate I am," when I'm really not. I just wanted to see
what was out there.-
Sure, I wouldn't have minded had I clicked with someone
and we started to date, but I'm not hollering for the Messiah
to hurry up and get here before he's good and ready.
Two weeks after my JDate debut, I closed up shop. Al-
though my profile got plenty of views, it was more of an em-
barrassment than flattering. I felt naked, vulnerable. At least
if I lived inNew York, I could hide among thousands of other
profiles.
But I live in Gainesville, and you know what? These kinds
of things can't be forced.
If I ever become a fortysomething desperate for some ko-
sher meat, maybe I'll give it another try.

BY VINCENT MASSARO
Gentile Correspondent

There's no business like show business, and there's
no other business I'd rather be in. But I realize I'd have
a better chance of winning the lottery, being struck by
lightning during a shark attack, and curing all types of
cancer in alphabetical order than I do at making it big.-
I can't be an actor-even if I were 6-1, I'd still be too
short. I would try directing, but those big-shot studio ex-
ecutives usually hire people who've got "experience."
Pssh. What about producing, or being an agent?
Wait, wait, I forgot. Show biz is a big conspiracy,
man. It's an elite club, and they wouldn't want me as a
member. If you don't believe me, check out the Feb. 7
inter-office memo at Paramount Studios entitled, "We're
refusing to hire anyone not currently working for us...
unless, maybe, if you have at least one parent of Jew-
ish heritage (and conversion after the age of 3 doesn't
count), and you had better ask nicely while winking
your left eye."
It's common knowledge that all the show-biz types are
Jewish. You have to know one or be one to get your foot
in the door.
-Currently, the only Jewish people I'm allowed to as-
sociate with work at the SHPiEL, and no one has been
able to set me up with an interview. So, I've decided to
change my name to sound more Jewish. I'm going un-
dercover. I know it's drastic, and probably offensive to
most rational people, but what other choice do I have?
In the meantime, I'm worried about the collateral dam-

Kvetching about Israel
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

The economy. Wait a minute, Israel has an econ-
omy? It certainly doesn't feel like it. Everything that
isn't made in Israel, including all the technical devices
we're used to computers, cars, etc. is ridiculously
expensive. Buying a car can be twice as expensive as in
the states. Plenty of people skip paying for insurance,
knowing full well how much it hurts their paycheck.
Which reminds me, good luck making a wealthy liv-
ing here. The economy is so stinking bad you have to
kill yourself every day for a mediocre income. There's
a reason you don't see very many mansions in Israel
almost everything that costs more than $20 has a spe-
cial "buy now, pay later" system to relieve consumers of
their pre-paycheck status.
The music. Maybe it's just me, but I'm getting a
little tired of listening to crappy Euro-trance music and
early '80s workout songs (i.e. the electric slide) every
time I go to a club.
The bureaucracy. Red tape covers the walls of
every governmental building. In America, one won-
derful social system is the drive for equal efficiency.
If there's something you need to take care of legally,
there's a good chance a system has been implemented
or a customer-support area designed to help your very
needs. In Israel, there is no customer support. The only
way you'll ever fix that faulty traffic ticket is if you
know someone. Israel works on networking, meaning
who you know and how much they owe you. Unfortu-
nately, new citizens have to start clean and dry in this
corrupt arrangement.
The racism. It's amazing how the color of your
skin can make people believe you're less of a Jew. And

news:

if you're not Jewish...uh... expect some very real dis-
crimination.
The politics. I'm not even talking about the Arab-
Israeli conflict, which is a whole issue in itself. We've
got a president who's filled with scandal, sleeping
around with too many broken secret-holders. Then we
have a prime minister who many believe was wrongly
and unfairly elected. Hmmm, actually sounds a little fa-
miliar.
But the problem is that in Israel, it isn't just the
president who's been caught screwing around. The
truth, or at least the way the public sees it, is that ev-
ery politician is f***ing themselves over for roney and
popularity. When a law is put on the table, politicians
are all returning favors. It's disgusting. And the public
is fully aware of the state's inadequate, "democratic"
government. I mean seriously, Israel doesn't even have
a constitution.
But there are plenty of reasons people continue to
immigrate.here, knowing full well what problems lay
ahead. The food can not be described in words. Israel
is probably home to some of the greatest delicacies I've
ever eaten, like cookie-dough sesame seed paste. As I
stated in a pervious article, Israel has a gorgeous array
of people existing in one place. The land varies from
desert to city life to forest region. Just as well, many
Christians, Jews and Muslims concur that Israel pro-
vides the greatest spiritual fulfillment. Walk around
Jerusalem for a few minutes and you'll feel something
strangely powerful in the air.
The truth is, Israel does have its Shangri La mo-
ments, and as long as you're aware and accepting of its
unavoidable problems, living here may nurture the hap-
piest moments of your life.

age Wiai \ll nmi Paisans' think of me"n-not to men-
tion my Napoletan grandma, Angela. Mamma nma, this
could get ugly.
But what's in a name anyway? Usually let-
ters, sometimes hyphens, hopefully no numbers (unless
you're in a dystopian novel).
See, many moons ago, a man's name was predicated on
his profession. David Letterman, mailroom boy; Adam
Smith, some kind of iron worker or economics guru;
O.J. Simpson, son of "Simps," or Son of Sam.
SInterestingly, there are a number of show-busi-
ness figures who changed their names to sound less Jew-
ish. Woody Allen was born Allen Stewart Konigsberg;
Jon Stewart, Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz; David Bowie,
David Robert Jones: These entertainers chose to Angli-
canize their names to conform to a potentially skeptical
American public... or because they wanted to endorse.
their tax returns with fewer consonants.
Let's dissect my name. My first name, Vincent or Vin-
cenzo, means "victor" or "conqueror." I'm not sure who
I'm supposed to be conquering, but I'm hoping it's go-
ing to be my sexist, feminazi of a second-grade teacher,
Ms. Grey, who is responsible for my embarrassingly
expansive shoe collection, my eyebrow waxing and my
use of mousse in middle school. Someday, I'll have my
revenge. Someday.
My last name, Massaro, is Sicilian for some kind of
feudal boss-in no way does such. a name implicate
myself or any members of my family, dead or alive, in
organized crime.
Man, there's just no easy way to do this. I can't just
add on a "-stein" or a "-witz," or even a "steinwitz."
Judaism is a religion, not a nationality. My name ends in
a vowel-my fate is sealed.
But wait a minute... You know how 99.998 percent
continued on page 5

news

In Honor of Black History Month:

A look at famous black Jews
BY AMRITHA ALLADI

*Sammy Davis, Jr.:
Known most popularly
as a member of the Rat
Pack, he was one of the
most versatile entertainers.
He was an actor, singer,
stand-up comedian and
musician, perfecting both
the trumpet and drums. In
1946, Metronome maga-
zine named him "Most
Outstanding New Person-
ality." After a car accident,
in which he lost his left eye,
Sammy Davis, Jr. converted
to Judaism.

*Elliott Maddox: A Major League Baseball player known for his time
with the New York Mets, he played for five teams over the course of 10 years.
He earned a 0.261 batting average and was the eighth candidate in line for
Most Valuable Player of the New York Yankees. He played in the 1976 World
Series and converted to Judaism in 1974.

*Sophie Okonedo: This Academy-Award nominee for "Hotel Rwanda"
was raised by her Jewish mother in England. At 18, she registered for Royal
Court Theatre and joined its board of directors in 2006. She's also landed roles
in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, The Jackal, and Aeon Flux.

*Ben Harper: This funk-soul singer/songwriter from California fuses
the sound of artists like Jimi Hendrix, Phish and Hootie and the Blowfish. He
launched his acoustic guitar career in 1992 when he signed with Virgin Re-
cords. In 2003, he was named "Artist of the Year" in France. He is known as a
collaborative artist and has worked with Jack Johnson, Beth Orton, John Lee
Hooker and Gov't Mule. He has toured as an opening artist for the Dave Mat-
thews Band, Radiohead, Metallica and Pearl Jam. His mother was a Russian
Jew.

*Lenny Kravitz: This rock artist was exposed to great musicians at a
young age by his mother and Jewish father. Their circle of friends included
Duke Ellington, Sarah Vaughan, Ella Fitzgerald and Miles Davis. Though he
grew up in Los Angeles, he moved to New York and roomed with Lisa Bonet
of The Cosby Show, whom he later married. He adopted a soulful, funky
sound and looked to Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix as examples. During his
musical career he has had numerous hits such as "It Ain't Over Til It's Over,"
S"Justify My Love," and "A 1\ a s on the Run," a collaboration with Guns 'N
Roses guitarist Slash.

*Slash of Guns 'N Roses: Born to Ola and Anthony Hudson (Jewish
father), he attended the same high school as Kravitz in Los Angeles. At 15, his
grandmother gifted him a guitar and the rest is history. Guns 'N Roses stormed
the world as the new rock 'n' roll sensation, but disagreements with fellow
band member Axl Rose caused him to leave the band and become the lead gui-
tarist of Velvet Revolver. He is considered one of the greatest rock guitarists,

*Julius Lester: Actively involved in the Civil Rights Movement, this
children's author has produced several works illustrating African-American
History. His 1969 book, "To Be a Slave," earned a Newberry Honor title. Born
in Missouri as the son of a Methodist minister, he later converted to Judaism.
Lester actively spreads awareness of both the African-American and Judaic
cultures by teaching at the University of Massachusetts, where he has been a
professor since the 1970s.

s.? dj y

continued from page 4
of Italian-Americans are Roman Catholic? Well, I'm sure somebody in that .002
percent has to be Jewish...or at least know somebody who is...or at least know of
somebody who is. And why couldn't that be me? Vincent Massaro, that one Italian
Jewish guy.
But I can't convert; you read the memo. I'll guess I'll just have to see if I can
pass myself off as a Jew.
If the Hollywood types don't buy it, I'll hire the best Jewish lawyer I can find,
and I'll sue.

NMahmnoud Abbas authorized Ismail Haniyeh to form a
ne\v go\ einment. The Palestinian Authority president an-
nounced the move in a news conference Feb. 16.

Turkey will send a team to check on Israel's controversial
repair work near the Temple Mount, Turkish Prime Minis-
ter Recep Tayyip Erdogan announced Feb. 16.

E hud Olmert said Israel could enter peace talks with Syria
if it stops sponsoring terrorism after talks in Ankara with
his Turkish counterpart, Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

The new chief of Israel's military took office. Lt.-Gen.
Gabi Ashkenazi formally took charge of the Israel Defense
Forces on Feb. 14 at a ceremony conducted by Prime Min-
ister Ehud Olmert.

Relatives of two Israeli soldiers held by Hezbollah met
Pope Benedict XVI to appeal for their release. Five mem-
bers of the families of Ehud Goldwasser and Eldad Re-
gev, whose abduction by Hezbollah last July triggered a
monthlong war, spoke to Benedict in a Vatican audience
Wednesday.

Al-Qaida called on Palestinians to join the international
terrorist network. Ayman Zawahiri, senior lieutenant to
Osama bin Laden, said in a statement posted Wednesday
on the Internet that Palestinians should abandon their old-
est national movement, Fatah, and embrace radical Islam.

news

CF i~il

strange

The Cockroach is No Bird Brain

Ah, the bald eagle.
: GISELLE MAZUR
A A noble bird, he is the
ultimate symbol of American
nationalism.
E Yet, how is it we blindly accept
E this candidate as our representa-
Stive? Why is our icon not some
Other deserving creature, like
say, a cockroach?
"Nonsense," you say. "That's absurd. You're a
loony." But I have evidence of the cockroach's suitabil-
ity.*
A solitary creature, the eagle sits atop his perch
looking down on the world. Quite frankly, it's a bit snob-
bish.
Now the cockroach, he's the guy I want on my team, work-
ing in a complex society and leading his fellow comrades
to food and water.
The eagle doesn't even htmt a lot of the time. He
just picks on smaller birds, stealing their hard-earned din-
ners. The roach is no bully, but rather like a garbage man,
nobly collecting what others discard.
Even Benjamin Franklin was opposed to our oh-
so-precious mascot.
"For my own part I wish the bald eagle had not
been chosen the representative of our country," he said in a
letter to his daughter. "He is a bird of bad moral character.
He does not get his living honestly."
What's more, the eagle is an endangered species.
He can't stand up to pesticides, insecticides or hunters.
How is he going to stand up to the imminent danger of
terrorism?
Our insect friend, however, can hold his breath
for 45 minutes, live up to a month without even having a

across the g\ob

I

head and go just as long without food. That's why that one
on the bathroom floor is still wiggling on its back five days
later.
Heck, the roach can handle 15 times the radiation
of humans, so he'll own the world after we all blow our-
selves to bits in WWIII-he is our legacy. It's like Robin
Williams said, the only two creatures that would survive
a nuclear holocaust are cockroaches and Keith Richards-
- and I don't think I want Keith representing all of man-
kind.
It's even in the cockroach's name, Periplaneta
americana.
Take that, Haliaeetus leucocephalus.
If you are still not convinced, then reflect on the
world's fascination with the loveable bug:
Austro-Hungarian author Franz Kafka made him the object
of his short story "The Metamorphosis." A British comic
book series by Terry Pratchett, "Discworld" is about a
man who discovers that cockroaches are actually the most
highly evolved organisms on the planet. The Mexcian folk
song, "La Cucaracha," well, that's fairly self-explanatory.
And who can forget the MTV movie "Joe's Apartment,"
where the fun-loving, party-going roach roommates help
a human hero?
So petition for change.
The next time you write your governor, senator
or the president, be sure to demand that the symbol on all
national seals, currency and "These Colors.Do Not Run"
T-shirts be changed. Or at least think twice before setting
up that roach motel you got on sale at Wal-Mart.
* All evidence gathered from the highly reputable source, http://www.
wikipedia.org.

Later in the day, Jerusalem's Mayor Uri Lupolianski
decided to postpone the construction plan in order to ad-
equately address the evident sensitivities surrounding the
site with a series of committees and through public review,
The Antiquities Authority said it would complete its cur-
rent excavations, filling up holes, to ensure public safety.
The following Tuesday, the Jewish Quarter Develop-
ment Company, which owns the piece of land where the
Western Wall now stands, decided to cancel any further
work on the Mugrabi Ascent. Later in the day though, the
company revoked that decision due to pressure coming
from various arms of the government, including Prime

Minister Olmert's office. And the stones kept flying.
City and state officials alike disagreed with each oth-
er over the legality of the construction plan. Ghaleb Ma-
jadele, a minister from the Labor party, criticized Jerusa-
lem Mayor Lupolianski for knowing the plan was illegal,
having not received enough of the required authorization.
Jerusalem's Comptroller Shulamit Rubin voiced a similar
sentiment a week earlier when he said that the directors
of the excavation plan failed to submit a detailed enough
plan, deeming their permit illegal.
Another prevalent opinion through all the commo-
tion is that Palestinian leaders are using the Mugrabi As-
cent issue and subsequent protests to deflect attention from
the plague of infighting between Hamas and Fatah. It re-
mains to be seen whether the recent resolution of the two
parties into a unity government will stick or if the Israeli
government will even recognize it. And still, the rockets
kept soaring.
Leaders from the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, namely
Ramadan Adasi, have claimed that with continued exca-
vation or later construction work, the group will use the
whole of its force to respond. Two Qassam rockets fired
early Tuesday, he said, were in response to the work being
done. And the diplomacy reigned all around.
In Jordan, King Abdullah said excavation and con-
struction on the site have only been successful at annoying
an already aggravated Israeli-Palestinian peace process.
Similarly, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad criti-
cized the work as a ploy by the "Zionist regime...to cause
tension and escalate hostility."
With every faction of every government and society
in the region pulling this way and that at the issue, it re-
mains unclear what.the future holds, less more pulling and
prodding. The stone just continues to crumble.

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To All My Ladies: Get Fit Not Buff
BY CATIE CASE
Many people, especially women, overlook strength
training when exercising for fear of getting "buff." But
ladies, before you put down those hand weights and run
to the treadmill, hear me out. Strength training is ex-
tremely important for weight loss, raising your metabo-
lism, burning fat, building muscle and keeping your
bones and connective tissue strong. It is also something
that can be done from home while catching up on that lat-
est episode of Grey's Anatomy. If you chose to work'6ut
at home, you can purchase hand weights from a sports
supply store. You can also, of course, find them at the
local gym.
When strength training, use caution. Make sure
you start at a low weight and work your way higher.
4 For each exercise, use a weight that is challenging,
but you should only be able to complete 10-12 repetitions
(the act of lifting and lowering a weight once) and 1-3
sets (the number of times you perform each set of reps).
Rest for about 30 seconds between sets, and make sure
you rest for at least one day between workout sessions.
Tricep Curls (use a light weight in each hand or one heavier weight)
i Use the same standing position as the bicep curl
Raise your arms straight overhead, and keep your
elbows as close to your ears as possible.
Inhale as you slowly bend elbows, lowering the
weights behind you.
Exhale as you straighten your arms to raise the
weights to the starting position.
Repeat this motion 10-12 times
Bicep Curls It se light weights, 5 lbs or under for beginners)
Sund up straight, with feet hip distance apart and
". ikees slightly bent
Hold weights in both hands, palms facing upward,
with elbows positioned next to waist and rib cage.
Position your arms so the weights are directly above
your thighs and elbows are slightly bent.
Exhale as you slowly lift both forearms upright to
shoulders to a full bicep curl. i
Inhale as you evenly and slowly lower your arms
down to starting position. Make sure you squeeze
your bicep muscles as you lift down. The resistance
is what builds muscle!
Repeat this motion 10-12 times

A Letter to the Editor...

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3

Unlike Drescher, however, I also strongly
disagree with comparisons between President Carter and
the authors and perpetuators of the blatantly anti-Semitic
and false book, the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." The
use of this dangerous piece of propaganda by those who
have wished to libel the Jewish people is tragic and, as
Drescher notes, ongoing. Linking Carter and his book to
this book is a thinly veiled way of saying that Carter is an
anti-Zionist and an anti-Semite. Such accusations could
not be further from the truth. While reasonable minds
may differ about Carter's analysis of the current situation
in Israel and Palestine, I find it hard to believe that Carter
is calling for anything less than a just and lasting peace
for the peoples of both nations. To suggest that Carter
does not appreciate the importance of the Jewish state
and the intrinsic worth of the individuals living there-
Jews and non-Jews alike-is a mischaracterization of his
dedicated efforts during and after his presidency to bring
peace and stability to Israel and its neighbors.
It is unfortunate that amid the fervent backlash
against Carter's book, the man's central message will be

lost. And although I agree that the book contains many
significant flaws that need to be addressed, I stand in
solidarity with President Carter in his thesis that terror-
ism arises not because of abstract and jingoistic notions
such as "Islamo-fascism" or an "axis of evil," but rather
because of very concrete and tangible political, social,
and economic realities. To say that the impoverished
and unsustainable conditions that exist in Palestine act as
major hurdles to peace is not anti-Semitic or anti-Zionist.
Nor is such an assertion meant to act as a justification or
excuse for barbaric terrorist attacks. What this recogni-
tion does do, however, is take an important step in the
direction of looking at the causes of the things that hap-
pen in our world. Once these causes are recognized, these
causes can be changed, and that-posits Carter-is the
key to achieving true peace.
These issues are extremely complex and chal-
lenging, which makes it a tragedy that the Carter Center
now has 14 fewer bright and talented minds to participate
in that organization's good works in the Middle East and
around the world. While I am a staunch proponent of
non-cooperation as a method of protesting injustice, I do
not feel that non-cooperation is an appropriate response

to the Carter Center and Jimmy Carter-an organization
and a man dedicated to making the world a better place
through the rational solving of public policy problems.
Instead, I believe that the better answer here would have
been continued participation by the 14 members of the
Center who resigned. They could have done far more
good by staying on board and making their dissent part
of an ongoing dialogue. The protest method employed
by these individuals is a powerful tool that should only
be used against organizations and individuals who are
unwilling to engage in reasoned conversation-lest this
powerful tool become dulled and trite.
Further, I believe that the appropriate response
of the Jewish community to President Carter's book is
not to turn our backs in disgust while shouting false ac-
cusations of anti-Semitism and inaccurate comparisons to
the "Protocols of the Elders of Zion." Rather, I believe
that we should turn to President Carter, face to face, to re-
solve the recent misunderstandings and tensions that have
arisen. Doing so is crucial if the positive relationship that
has existed between Israel and President Carter for the
past three decades is to be restored.

..4
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. news, I

Students Saving Swaziland

mnews

JT-eh? A Look at the Jews'

Associated Press

LORIFINKEL Preventing genocide in
Darfur has become a trendy
cause among celebrities and
Jewish youth activists who re-
Slate the genocide to the Holo-
caust.
However, slightly south of
Darfur, a new kind of holocaust
is being waged by the AIDS
virus in Swaziland, an African country with the highest
death rate in the world.
Although the epidemic is lost to American pop cul-
ture, it caught the attention of University of Florida stu-
dents Edward Lin and Abhi Lokesh. They launched the
prototype for their Web site, called the Makers Union,
around Thanksgiving 2006.
The site, which won't be officially advertised for an-
other six months, sells the donated reprints of local artists
to fund a non-profit organization, swaziAID. The organi-
zation focuses on bettering the problems of Swaziland,
home to one million, settled between South Africa and
Mozambique. Forty percent of the country's population is
under the age of 15.
"There are grandparents and there are children, but
there is no one to care for them," Lin said. "Those people
should not be working."
The organization is not promoting the site until there
are more posters available, Lin said. Visitors can buy post-
ers now, but Lin is still hoping to get more donations.
Alex Theodore, technical and arts director of swa-
ziAID, said he became involved because it "clicked" for
him.
"Our idea is unique," Theodore said. "The money
doesn't go in our pockets; 100 percent of it goes to swa-
ziAid."
Frustrated when he donated $150 to the Red Cross
after Katrina and saw little result, Lokesh wanted to make
sure patrons of his organization knew how their money
was used.
"We'll give you a report of exactlywhere your mon-
ey is going and how much is being spent on what," Lokesh
said.
Lokesh and Lin know with donations of $10 at a time
they can't solve all of Swaziland's problems, which is why

they focus on three main goals: giving the country more
protein-rich foods like poultry, ensuring reliable medical
supply delivery, and maintaining a clean water supply.
The swaziAid correspondent in Swaziland, Allison
Peel, was stationed there through a Peace Corps program
when Lin and Lokesh were looking for a business project
in their social entrepreneurship class.
Peel was the mother of Lin's childhood friend who
"decided to do some soul searching" Lin said, after her
18-year-old son died of heart failure.
"If she wasn't stationed there, I would have never
heard of Swaziland," Lin said.
As a correspondent, Peel advised Lin and Lokesh as
to what the best use of their money would be in the coun-
try to do the most good.
Lokesh said he and Lin researched to find a good
product that would make more money than a bake sale
and found that posters were popular among college kids,
Lokesh said.
"We wanted kids to spend money on things that are
going to last them a while," Lokesh said.
Makers United has one donor from the Netherlands,
but most of the artwork comes from UF students.
"Our product is unique because you aren't getting
the same 'Fight Club' posters that they sell at the Union,"
Lokesh said. "And besides, kids like art, and kids connect
with other kids."

BY NERI STEIN
So you're skimming through the Alligator and you
see the same names of different students and even some
from other schools. However, the next article you see
wasn't written by a fellow Gator but was borrowed from
the Associated Press. How appalling! They can't even
write all of their own articles? Not even that, but most
of the more politically charged articles in the Alligator
are all taken from the AP and they leave the students to
write about the more "entertaining" stuff like everyone's
Valentine's wishes. But wait before you judge too
quickly, you may want to know that The SHPiEL has its
own little version of the AP. Introducing the Jewish Tele-
graphic Agency, Global Jewish News bringing you up-to-
the-minute reports from across the globe about everything
Jewish. The difference is: everyone knows what the AP
is, while the JTA is a much better kept secret. In fact, The
SHPiEL's editors recently realized that even they don't
know what this mysterious organization is all about. So
here's just a little info about the Associated Press, Jewish
style.
The JTA is pretty much just like the AP in that it
reports on news happenings across the universe. The JTA
though, focuses solely on Jewish news, so it's just that
much cooler. It was founded in 1917 by Jacob Landau
when he recognized that Jewish people around the world
needed a way to know what was happening to all the other
Jews around the world. After WWI, he felt the need was
greater than ever given that Jewish families were more
spread out than ever before. Anti-Semitism was spreading
quickly then, so Jews needed a reliable source of informa-
tion to help them stay connected. Now, just a decade away
from its centennial, the JTA is stronger than ever covering
all aspects of Jewish life. As opposed to what many would
expect, it focuses on much more than just the typical news
stories regarding Jews such as the situation in the Middle
East. With correspondents located in over 30 cities across
the world including Jerusalem, New York, and Moscow,
it covers everything Jewish from the Middle East peace-
process to new trends amongst Jews in North America to
anti-Semitic activities across the world. It is a non-profit
organization and is not tied to any political viewpoint or
single branch of Judaism.
The AP may be the oldest news organization and
it may also provide news to more than 1,500 daily news-
papers the world over. And sure, it is impressive that it
has won more Pulitzers than any other news organization.
But, you still have to admit that the JTA is way cooler for
certain obvious reasons. When you really look at, the AP
is fo the Alligator what the JTA is to The SHPiEL. So with
basic reasoning you can conclude that The SHPiEL is just
way hotter thanrthe Alligator. -
So there you go. Now, whenever you see an article
in your friendly, neighborhood SHPiEL written not by the
typical names but by an anonymous writer known only as
JTA, you won't be so perplexed. And neither will our dear
editors who no longer seemed content borrowing news
from people they really knew nothing about.

S.-H"a 'c"'"l' Never liked tak-
S: ing showers in gym class?
Well, neither did 1.
Standing there buck naked,
not knowing who's look-
ing where, is. not exactly
a movie-and-popcorn sort
of experience. All you wanted to do was get in
and out as fast as possible, even if it meant be-
ing less-than Zestfully clean for second period.
What made being there, not knowing what other
people were thinking, so terrifying?
The unknown I guess.
Now take that unknown you experienced
as a pimply and awkward kid and imagine expe-
riencing it as an adult, better yet a professional
athlete.
Coming off the heels of former NBA cen-
ter John Amaechi's shocking out-of-the-closet
confession, the phrase "homosexuals in sports"
has been a hot topic in the sporting community.
Congratulations came from former teammate
Grant Hill, who praised Amaechi for coming out,
but criticism rained down from superstar Lebron
James like three pointers in the fourth quarter.

But let's get passed all that and look at what the
real issues are when talking about gay athletes
-- the unknown.
When I was a young lad growing up in
Central Florida, I was a big Orlando Magic fan,
(and by the way, yes, I am still bitter at Shaq for
leaving). Beyond that, all I wanted was my team
to do well. When Amaechi was playing for the
team, I rooted for the 6'10 British mate to do
well so they would win. As a youngster, I didn't
know what gay, straight or any of that garbage
really meant; if someone told me that one of my
favorite athletes was gay, I don't think I would've
cared-- nobody else should either.
Professional athletes are people who get
paid very well to entertain. It is a job, and they
should be treated like businessmen and women.
Nobody comes into your office building and
stops the press because Tom in accounting is
gay.
So what's the big deal, really? Who cares
what people do behind closed doors? Gay peo-
ple are out there even if they aren't "out" there.
They're your neighbors, your teachers, heck they
may even be you or your sibling. If they are good

enough to be everything else, why can't they be
your point guard, your defensive end or your fa-
vorite athlete? We need to realize that there are
people's lives and professions at stake here and
open our minds to change. Just because we think
sports are testosterone-filled, macho-man kinds
of exhibits doesn't mean they have to be.
Hopefully, because of Amaechi's show
of courage, more athletes will find the gumption
to be who they really are and stop living in fear
of being ostracized. We know they're out there.
And I think the public needs to be more accept-
ing.
On Feb. 23 in Toronto, a new wave might
cast through the NBA when the Raptors host
Rainbow Hoops Night, to honor gay basketball
fans. Sites like http://www.outsports.com show
that there is a passion for sports in the gay com-
munity.
Hopefully one day no one will care what
sexual orientation a player is and we can finally
get back down to what really matters-- wins and
losses.

FI~y ~I

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FEBRUARY MARCH
irEBURY

Requiem For a
Dream is the feature
at Blockbuster night
tonight at Hillel. Be
there at 7:30 p.m.

20

Reitz is holding a
Student Stand-Up
competition tonight
at 8 p.m. at the
Orange and Brew!
Watch our Men's
Basketball team beat
South Carolina in the
O'Dome at 8 p.m.
Gainesville Civic
Media Center pres-
ents Michael Parenti
at the Phillips Center
at 8 p.m...

21

22

Student Government
presents Damian Mar-
ley in the O'Dome
at 10 p.m. Student
tickets are only $10.
Catch The Three
Piece Suit Revolution
by the Florida Players
in the Phillips Center
at 8 p.m.

23

a m --- I S- S~- I-

L.
The Gainesville
Community Band is
performing.today in
the Phillips Center at
2 p.m.

Come out and support
your favorite team in
the annual KOACH vs
Kesher Hamentashen
Bake-off at Hillel at 7
p.m. The best
tasting and most
creative hamentashen
will get high points with
the judges. For more
information contact
koach@ufjsu.org

28 :
The Florida Players
present a Cabaret at
8 p.m. at the Orange
and-Brew.

Be at Plaza of the
Americas at 7 p.m. for
a Darfur Awareness
Event to call further
attention to the crisis
taking place in the
region.