john smith hitormiss memorial hospital (old notebooks)

SCENE: (A man is lying in bed talking to a TV newsman. His face
is wrapped in bandages.)

MAN: I spent five weeks at the John Smith Hitormiss Memorial
Hospital. See these? They kept saying they were only temporary,
but it's been three months and they still can't get them off!
All I wanted was a nose job! Yesterday one of the doctors said
that I should try to get used to them!

INTERVIEWER: (irritably) I know, I know, that's terrible, but
you were going to tell us about some of the other things that
went on there?

MAN: Yeah, yeah......anyways, all the time that I was in the
plastic surgery ward all I could do was, like, lay there and
listen, you know?

(Fade to actor recreations of events in plastic surgery ward.)

" ........and next time, nurse, take your jewelry off before
we operate."

"Sorry Doctor. I'll schedule her for surgery immediately."

"I already have. You can recover your bracelet tomorrow
morning, but you'll have to leave your watch where it is......"
(fade out)

(fade in) ".........which one is his mouth? It's time for
his supper......." (fade out)

(fade in) "........now before I give you this mirror, let
me ask you a question. When you were a boy, did you ever dream
about running away and becoming a clown with the circus? (fade
out)

(fade in) ".......I told you once already, 11:30 isn't any
good! If i'm going to operate I'm going to need those martinis.
How about 12:30? I should still be able to hold a scalpel by
then.......(fade to black)