Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Prognosticators predict Punxatawney Phil may not see his shadow during the star-studded Ground Hog Day celebration this year. That is because he'll climb out of his burrow into a bigger shadow cast by Kim Kardashian's butt.

I love Ground Hog Day. I think it makes perfect sense to let a rodent be a weather prognosticator. After all, we let rats run for Congress.

I love it when Punxatawney Phil sees his shadow on Ground Hog Day. It means I can procrastinate for six weeks before starting my spring cleaning.

More than 30,000 people travel to Punxatawney, Pennsylvania, every year to watch Phil search for his shadow. Half of them are angry farmers who want to strangle groundhogs for destroying spring crops.

Last year, Punxatawney Phil tried to escape when he surfaced from his burrow. After hibernating, he was hungry and wanted to help himself to the farmers' crops while they attended the festival.

Officials said Punxatawney Phil has seen his shadow 39 percent of the time since he became a prognosticator. The other 61 percent of the time he also saw his shadow. But it was cast by TV camera lights.

Punxatawney Phil lives in a climate-controlled cage in the Punxatawney Library. But he has never checked out a meteorology book because he doesn't have a library card.

Punxatawney, by the way, is a Swahili word that means white men don't have enough sense to come out of the cold.

After Ground Hog Day, we celebrate Valentine's Day. Last year, I told my husband I wanted a rosebud. He came through. He rented the movie, "Citizen Kane".

My sister said I need to love my neighbor. That's easy for her to say. That's how she snagged her husband. Boy, is his first wife relieved.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 – 2 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Veterans Hospital Westwood
Los Angeles, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 – 8 PM
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16 – 7 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Redgate Memorial Recovery Center
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 – 8 PM
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 – 2 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Metropolitan State Hospital Prison Unit
Norwalk, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27 – 8 PM (Theater)
"The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

SATURDAY, MARCH 3 - 1 PM (Standup)
Private Show – Million Laughs
Veterans Hospital Nursing Unit
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next event, contact Will and Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6 – 8 PM (Theater)
The Angel Academy" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card

About Me

I am an award-winning professional journalist and comedy writer. I've written for newspapers, magazines, radio, television, headlining comedians and politicians. I also do standup, inspirational speaking and acting. I'm a Texas native with a drawl that drips slower than molasses. This blog is updated each week, so please come back for a visit.