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November 14, 2016

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How spoiled are we in this country that we have “leftovers?” Leftovers!? Seriously? Do you know what that shit is called in third world countries? FOOD! That’s what! And yet we bitch about leftovers. It’s amazing that we’ve allowed ourselves to become so settled and pleased with our current status. Last night’s dinner is no longer considered food anymore. It’s a leftover. Gross. I don’t want to eat that meatloaf… it’s a leftover. Hey what’s for dinner tonight? Oh, just some assorted leftovers. Well, fuck that. I’m going to Taco Bell!

That’s another one that I love… assortedleftovers. Not just your regular, run of the mill leftovers. These are assorted! Assorted leftovers! That shit is called a feast anywhere else in the world. Try asking some dirt poor Somali what he thinks of assorted leftovers. That little fucker would get up and dance a crippled jig at the thought of having extra food let alone just a few days old.

And why do we only do that with food? With anything else we don’t consider it a leftover, we just have more of one thing than we did before. You wouldn’t say I have some leftover shaving cream. You’d say I have some extra shaving cream. You wouldn’t say I have some leftover Band-Aids. Hell, if you needed the whole box on one use you probably should have gone to the hospital where they have extra sheets for their extra beds where they keep all of their extra supplies, medications and food. Well maybe not the food, it might be yesterday’s leftovers.