Scarlett is single

Page Six reports Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are splitting up. Their source says Scarlett is always mad at Josh and they’re always arguing. I’d be mad too if I finally realized my how much of a tool Josh Hartnett is. Fortunately for me, I already knew that so my heart is safe. Sigh, what dreamy eyes. What, oh, sorry I got lost there for a moment. No I wasn’t thinking about Josh Hartnett and his strong manly arms. I, uh, was thinking about Scarlett and her boobs. Yea. Boobs. See?