Wii Wish You A Merry Christmas

Like a merry Premiership progression Nintendo has taken a Liverpudlian third place with news on its (still embarrassingly titled) Wii console following earlier announcements from Sony and Microsoft.

It turns out this linguistic nightmare of a next generation console will be with us in time for Christmas (shock/horror) and that its TV style controller is hysterically called the Wiimote (all bets are off now).

Wiidiculous branding apart Nintendo also wiivealed that the Wii will be permanently connected to the Internet via a service it has called WiiConnect24 (I can only guess Wiinternet was a step too far). Cleverly WiiConnect24 will download game and console updates while it is in standby mode, though I have some reservations about any device wiich sets about modifying its own content while it is switched off and I’m snuggled up in bed.

On the plus side an impressive array of launch titles including new Zelda, Mario and Final Fantasy wiileases will be available from day one along with Madden 07, Hyper Sonic, Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam, another Rayman, another Sponge Bob Square Pants and a nifty looking fps called Red Steel.

It would’ve been nice to get an actual price ($250 is the latest rumour) and a fixed launch date, but then again it would be wiilly nice to sleep on rose petals alongside Carolina Ardohain while Adriana Lima fixes me breakfast every morning and presents me with puppies.

That puppy part is probably stretching things too far, after all what am I going to do with them when the numbers mount up? In fact, what possible use would a flat be when filled wall-to-wall with puppies? Sure it would be fun for a day or two, but then well… cramped.

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