Morgan’s Personality Test

So I got hold of what is claimed to be Dr. Phil’s Personality Test, and I took it and I didn’t like it. It seems to be testing people on the umpshun in their gumpshun, you might say. Their metabolism readings. And from that, it makes guesses that I would consider to be reckless…in addition to which, in my case, incorrect. I scored a 43 which seems to be toward the high end of things, and I have very few of the personality attributes the test seems to think I have.

So I decided to design my own test.

I started by presuming what seems to me to be obvious: A “personality” test isn’t going to reliably measure personality by fixating on one thing. Three things would be more realistic, I think. I remember reading somewhere that you can capture a facsimile of extremely complicated things by measuring three attributes, in fact it was impossible to create something so complicated as to make this unworkable. The monitor I’m reading as I type this displays things in red, green and blue so you could say that’s a real-life proof of the affirmative.

Perhaps a personality could be measured this way. So I fixed Dr. Phil’s test. When I was done, the new quilt had far more patchwork than quilt…but it seems to be pretty accurate so far.

The one axis Dr. Phil’s test did measure, I thought, had some merit so I thought I would keep that. But if I’m going to keep it it’s going to need some definition. I would say this is kind of like a personality “force.” If you could measure the personality of a lethargic Basset hound, you’d get something close to a zero and one of those irritating little rat-puppies would get something very high. It’s energy and zest; an eagerness to embrace life day-to-day. And it would probably be accurate to call people testing at the high end of this scale, “extraverts.” Going by the Myers-Briggs personality scale, this would correlate to the first letter: Folks who come up as “I—” would be toward zero, and the ones who are classified as “E—” would get a higher number.

I needed to reserve an axis for Yin and Yang. We’ve talked much, here at the Blog That Nobody Reads, about Yin and Yang — Yin referring to people like me, extremely immature in the pre-toddler years, left out of the social “loop” and perhaps developing some cognitive abilities we would otherwise not have developed, ultimately earning our daily bread by solving puzzles. Yang people tend to have an advantage of lifelong momentum; they are socially mature in the pre-toddler years, learn to be the center of attention, and enjoy the enviable success of breezing through life the same way from cradle to grave. No change in course needed, if they can just commune with others around them in a positive way, everything works out. Must be nice. I decided the Yang would be easier to test than the Yin, so I placed the Yin down at zero and Yang up toward the top.

I thought the third-letter of the Myers-Briggs was worthy of being repeated here because in my experience that tends to be pretty important: Whether one thinks his way through problems, or feels his way through them. So I made a third scale. And I made it so the feelers got zero and the thinkers got the higher number.

As luck would have it, Windows Paint has a panel where you can feed in three numbers that are supposed to represent red, green and blue. So the next thing I did was to build the entire test around that panel. That was a stroke of genius, if I dare say so myself. Everybody has Windows Paint, right? So now after you’re done with the test, you can use your own tools to create your own color. Your score for each color is a number, between 0 and 255, with 128 representing an absolute-neutral value on all three axes.

The thing of it is, though — with three axes, four different results to each question, sixty-four is the minimum number of questions such a test could have. So the result is something that takes a good 20 or 30 minutes to complete, and a little bit more time to add up.

But I know a lot of people love these things. And my test gives you your own unique color, which is an added benefit. And furthermore — I think this is pretty accurate. I tested myself on it, and when my girlfriend wasn’t looking I tested her. Her color is the same shade as mine, but brighter. That mirrors real life pretty well.

To take the test, reply to each question with a number from 0 to 3, based on whether you strongly disagree (0), slightly disagree, moderately agree or strongly agree (3). I deliberately eliminated “No Opinion,” because it’s a cop-out. So there’s no way around it, you have to make a choice sixty-four times.

Don’t forget, when you’re scoring negative numbers are allowed. Doubling a negative number produces another negative number that is considered “lesser,” but more distant from zero. Ready? Go.

Morgan’s Personality Test
1. You see yourself as a nail, and try to avoid sticking out so you don’t get hammered
2. You take good notes
3. Your perception of what’s going on is strongly affected by the perceptions of those around you
4. You suspect you’d be much further in life if you were better at conforming to rules and expectations, and it’s your secret shame
5. You’d rather listen to FM radio than spend time with friends
6. You’d rather listen to AM talk radio than spend time with friends
7. When your computer doesn’t act right, you wish someone would tell you 0=what happened, 3=what keys to press
8. You are frustrated when people seem indecisive about things when the answer is so clear to you
9. You are sometimes frustrated when you want to participate in a discussion but have little of value to contribute
10. You are the first to figure out what needs to be done
11. You are comfortable being the first person to figure out how a new task might be accomplished with the resources available
12. You are quick to anger
13. …But you are quick to forgive
14. Deep down, you realize you’re always going to lose patience with people when everyone doesn’t do everything your way
15. You have fantasies about living by your wits, out in the wild, dependent on no one and beholden to no one
16. Given a choice, you’d pick (be honest, now) 0=opportunity 3=security
17. You have hidden somewhere the cumulative product of years and years of your creative impulses, and very few other people know anything about it
18. The thing you like hearing the least is “don’t let the traffic get you so upset”
19. You derive a deep satisfaction from crossword puzzles
20. When you are engaged in a task and interrupted from it, you are highly irritated
21. You really don’t trust anyone and you’re not particularly wild about getting them to trust you
22. A “mental health day” is a perfectly valid reason for using one of your sick days
23. You really hate disappointing people
24. …But you don’t like to do what people expect of you all the time
25. The mood of the room is different from yours, so it must change
26. Those nerds are so useless, they never get laid, you’d still be stuffing them in trash cans if you could get away with it
27. You are very sure about what you want and usually end up getting it
28. People trust you a lot
29. …But they probably should not trust you as much as they do
30. You’re always the boss, it seems. Deep down, you kind of wish someone else would take the job so you could socialize like everyone else.
31. You are a procrastinator
32. People want to get your input before making a decision because they value your knowledge and sense of judgment
33. People who laugh too loud when other people are trying to work, are assholes
34. …And assholes should be shot
35. When you know what has to be done, you’re capable of explaining the consequences of not doing it
36. In school you pretended to have a tougher time with the schoolwork than you really did so you wouldn’t be a “nerd”
37. You don’t test well. But your comprehension of the material is very deep and you remember it for a long time.
38. You get agitated if you haven’t reconciled your checkbook at the designated time
39. You rely on others to fix things for you, that you could probably learn to do for yourself if you tried
40. You don’t socially interact with people very much yourself, but when they aren’t getting along with each other it makes you unhappy
41. You have a phobia about speaking in public, or doing anything a lot of people might be watching
42. You are popular with the opposite sex and make friends quickly…but it’s all in the technique, baby, all in the technique
43. You really dislike confrontation
44. You are a people-watcher; people often assume you’re shy and withdrawn, and are surprised when they find you are not
45. You score very highly on tests right after preparing for them, but you don’t do so well on the “pop quiz”
46. You are good at following instructions whether they are well-written or not
47. Your word is good even if you give it to people you personally dislike
48. You want to know bad news right away
49. People joke about you being voted “most likely to snap someday and bring a rifle to work”
50. People count on you for your leadership qualities
51. People use computers. The computers don’t act right. They want you to fix the computer. They won’t get out of the chair so you can fix it. You could just smack ‘em.
52. You are frustrated with work because when you do it well and on-time, your only reward is more work
53. When you have a case of the “blahs” you hang out with your friends and get back in the swing of things very quickly
54. His friends want him to sing karaoke. He doesn’t want to. You hope they change his mind.
55. You are brilliant at getting people to work together, although you sometimes have to rely on others to come up with ideas (be honest)
56. Too many of the solutions you have formed for life’s routine problems have something to do with getting angry
57. You like surprises and dread monotony
58. When you know what has to be done, you understand the consequences of not doing it
59. Your greatest fear is that you’ll figure out the answer before everybody else, and someone will copy your answer and claim credit for it
60. With ten people in a room, you find the overall mood to be all-important
61. Your circle of friends is very small but you’re very sure of who they are. You do have some doubts that it’s mutual.
62. In school you always went with a crowd, but someone else did the leading
63. When people tell you to “have a nice day,” you really wish you could scold them for telling you what kind of day you’re supposed to be having
64. If you’ve had a tough day, and arrive home to unexpectedly find the place is all yours for the next six hours, you’re 0=agitated 3=relieved

Scoring:RED:
Add up your answers to questions 19, 21, 32 and 53.
Subtract from that your answers to questions 1 and 20.
Add to this your answers to questions 8, 17 and 25.
Subtract your answers to questions 4, 37, 39 and 41.
Add to this your answers to questions 27 and 55.
Subtract your answers to questions 52, 31 and 9.
Add to this your answers to questions 10, 42 and 44.
Subtract your answers to questions 16, 14 and 24.
Add your answer to question 54.
Subtract your answers to questions 22, and 43 and 64.
Add your answers to questions 40, 38 and 50.
Subtract your answer to question 46.
Double this.
Add to what you have, the answers to questions 12 and 28.
Subtract from this the answer to question 29.
Add to this the answer to question 57.
Subtract the answers to questions 2, 47 and 49.
Add to this the answers to questions 3, 7 and 13.
Subtract from that the answers to questions 11 and 56.
Add the answers to questions 6, 15 and 63.
Subtract the answers to questions 18, 36 and 60.
Add to this the answers to questions 34, 45, 48 and 61.
Subtract the answers to questions 23, 26, 35 and 62.
Add the answers to questions 5, 30 and 51.
Subtract the answers to questions 33, 58 and 59.
Add this to 128. If the result is negative, make it 0, and if it’s over 255, make it 255.

GREEN:
Add up your answers to question 46 and question 53.
Subtract from that your answer to question 11.
Add to that, your answer to 36.
Subtract from that your answers to 20, 21 and 40.
Add to that your answers to 7, 9 and 50.
Subtract from that your answers to 6 and 17.
Add to that, your answers to 23, 10 and 52.
Subtract from that, your answers to 47, 49, 61 and 63.
Add to that, your answers to 14, 34, 45 and 62.
Subtract from that, your answers to 15, 24 and 44.
Add to that, your answers to questions 3, 27 and 60.
Subtract from that, your answers to 4, 31 and 33.
Double this.
Add to this your answers to questions 16, 19, 28 and 54.
Subtract from that your answers to question 5 and 32.
Add to this your answers to questions 1, 12 and 25.
Subtract from that, your answers to questions 8, 42, 48 and 51.
Add to that, your answers to questions 26 and 59.
Subtract from that, your answers to questions 13, 41 and 58.
Add to that, your answers to questions 30, 38 and 39.
Subtract from that, your answers to questions 18, 37 and 64.
Add to that, your answer to questions 57.
Subtract frrom that, your answers to questions 22, 35 and 55.
Add to that, your answers to questions 2, 29 and 43.
Subtract from that your answer to question 56.
Add this to 128. If the result is negative, make it 0, and if it’s over 255, make it 255.

To get to the Windows Paint panel, make sure your colors toolbox is showing at the bottom, then double-click a color — any color. You’ll get a panel that allows you to change the color to something not already in the toolbox, and somewhere in there you should see a push button for “custom colors.” Push that and you’ll get the red, green and blue edit boxes.

Enter the red value into the red edit box, the green value into the green edit box, and the blue value into the blue edit box. The result is your color. Mine is here:

Update 11/22/07: Because Thanksgiving is a day when the ladies are supposed to be hard at work in the kitchen and the men are wandering around eating stuff and goofing off, I put together some Visual Basic code to make that dreadful nightmarish scoring thing a little easier.

You can simply paste this code into a Macro in Microsoft Excel. It works in Excel 97 and I think it will work in any version 5.0 or better. Start copying on the next line down:

Cells.Select
With Selection.Font
.Name = "Arial"
.Size = 8
.Strikethrough = False
.Superscript = False
.Subscript = False
.OutlineFont = False
.Shadow = False
.Underline = xlUnderlineStyleNone
.ColorIndex = xlAutomatic
End With
Range("A1").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=ROW()"
Range("A1").Select
Selection.Copy
Range("A1:A64").Select
ActiveSheet.Paste
Range("A1:A64").Select
Application.CutCopyMode = False
Selection.Copy
Selection.PasteSpecial Paste:=xlValues, Operation:=xlNone, SkipBlanks:= _
False, Transpose:=False
Range("B1").Select
Application.CutCopyMode = False
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You see yourself as a nail, and try to avoid sticking out so you don’t get hammered"
Range("B2").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You take good notes"
Range("B3").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Your perception of what’s going on is strongly affected by the perceptions of those around you"
Range("B4").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You suspect you’d be much further in life if you were better at conforming to rules and expectations, and it’s your secret shame"
Range("B5").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You’d rather listen to FM radio than spend time with friends"
Range("B6").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You’d rather listen to AM talk radio than spend time with friends"
Range("B7").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When your computer doesn’t act right, you wish someone would tell you 0=what happened, 3=what keys to press"
Range("B8").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are frustrated when people seem indecisive about things when the answer is so clear to you"
Range("B9").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are sometimes frustrated when you want to participate in a discussion but have little of value to contribute"
Range("B10").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are the first to figure out what needs to be done"
Range("B11").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are comfortable being the first person to figure out how a new task might be accomplished with the resources available"
Range("B12").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are quick to anger"
Range("B13").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "…But you are quick to forgive"
Range("B14").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Deep down, you realize you’re always going to lose patience with people when everyone doesn’t do everything your way"
Range("B15").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You have fantasies about living by your wits, out in the wild, dependent on no one and beholden to no one"
Range("B16").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Given a choice, you’d pick (be honest, now) 0=opportunity 3=security"
Range("B17").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You have hidden somewhere the cumulative product of years and years of your creative impulses, and very few other people know anything about it"
Range("B18").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "The thing you like hearing the least is: Don’t let the traffic get you so upset"
Range("B19").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You derive a deep satisfaction from crossword puzzles"
Range("B20").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When you are engaged in a task and interrupted from it, you are highly irritated"
Range("B21").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You really don’t trust anyone and you’re not particularly wild about getting them to trust you"
Range("B22").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "A ‘mental health day’ is a perfectly valid reason for missing work"
Range("B23").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You really hate disappointing people"
Range("B24").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "…But you don’t like to do what people expect of you all the time"
Range("B25").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "The mood of the room is different from yours, so it must change"
Range("B26").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Those nerds are so useless, they never get laid, you’d still be stuffing them in trash cans if you could get away with it"
Range("B27").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are very sure about what you want and usually end up getting it"
Range("B28").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People trust you a lot"
Range("B29").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "…But they probably should not trust you as much as they do"
Range("B30").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You’re always the boss, it seems. Deep down, you kind of wish someone else would take the job so you could socialize like everyone else."
Range("B31").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are a procrastinator"
Range("B32").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People want to get your input before making a decision because they value your knowledge and sense of judgment"
Range("B33").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People who laugh too loud when other people are trying to work, are assholes"
Range("B34").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "…And assholes should be shot"
Range("B35").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When you know what has to be done, you’re capable of explaining the consequences of not doing it"
Range("B36").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "In school you pretended to have a tougher time with the schoolwork than you really did so you wouldn’t be a ‘nerd’"
Range("B37").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You don’t test well. But your comprehension of the material is very deep and you remember it for a long time."
Range("B38").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You get agitated if you haven’t reconciled your checkbook at the designated time"
Range("B39").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You rely on others to fix things for you, that you could probably learn to do for yourself if you tried"
Range("B40").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You don’t socially interact with people very much yourself, but when they aren’t getting along with each other it makes you unhappy"
Range("B41").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You have a phobia about speaking in public, or doing anything a lot of people might be watching"
Range("B42").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are popular with the opposite sex and make friends quickly…but it’s all in the technique, baby, all in the technique"
Range("B43").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You really dislike confrontation"
Range("B44").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are a people-watcher; people often assume you’re shy and withdrawn, and are surprised when they find you are not"
Range("B45").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You score very highly on tests right after preparing for them, but you don’t do so well on the ‘pop quiz’"
Range("B46").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are good at following instructions whether they are well-written or not"
Range("B47").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Your word is good even if you give it to people you personally dislike"
Range("B48").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You want to know bad news right away"
Range("B49").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People joke about you being voted ‘most likely to snap someday and bring a rifle to work’"
Range("B50").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People count on you for your leadership qualities"
Range("B51").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "People use computers. The computers don’t act right. They want you to fix the computer. They won’t get out of the chair so you can fix it. You could just smack ‘em."
Range("B52").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are frustrated with work because when you do it well and on-time, your only reward is more work"
Range("B53").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When you have a case of the ‘blahs’ you hang out with your friends and get back in the swing of things very quickly"
Range("B54").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "His friends want him to sing karaoke. He doesn’t want to. You hope they change his mind."
Range("B55").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You are brilliant at getting people to work together, although you sometimes have to rely on others to come up with ideas (be honest)"
Range("B56").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Too many of the solutions you have formed for life’s routine problems have something to do with getting angry"
Range("B57").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "You like surprises and dread monotony"
Range("B58").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When you know what has to be done, you understand the consequences of not doing it"
Range("B59").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Your greatest fear is that you’ll figure out the answer before everybody else, and someone will copy your answer and claim credit for it"
Range("B60").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "With ten people in a room, you find the overall mood to be all-important"
Range("B61").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "Your circle of friends is very small but you’re very sure of who they are. You do have some doubts that it’s mutual."
Range("B62").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "In school you always went with a crowd, but someone else did the leading"
Range("B63").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "When people tell you to ‘have a nice day,’ you really wish you could scold them for telling you what kind of day you’re supposed to be having"
Range("B64").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "If you’ve had a tough day, and arrive home to unexpectedly find the place is all yours for the next six hours, you’re 0=agitated 3=relieved"
Range("B65").Select
Columns("A:B").EntireColumn.AutoFit
Range("B66").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "RED:"
Range("B67").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "GREEN:"
Range("B68").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "BLUE:"
Range("B66:B68").Select
With Selection
.HorizontalAlignment = xlRight
.VerticalAlignment = xlBottom
.WrapText = False
.Orientation = 0
.ShrinkToFit = False
.MergeCells = False
End With
Range("C66").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=2*(R8C3+R10C3+R17C3+R19C3+R21C3+R25C3+R27C3+R32C3+R38C3+R40C3+R42C3+R44C3+R50C3+R53C3+R54C3+R55C3-R1C3-R4C3-R9C3-R14C3-R16C3-R20C3-R22C3-R24C3-R31C3-R37C3-R39C3-R41C3-R43C3-R46C3-R52C3-R64C3)+R3C3+R5C3+R6C3+R7C3+R12C3+R13C3+R15C3+R28C3+R30C3+R34C3+R45C3+R48C3+R51C3+R57C3+R61C3+R63C3-R2C3-R11C3-R18C3-R23C3-R26C3-R29C3-R33C3-R35C3-R36C3-R47C3-R49C3-R56C3-R58C3-R59C3-R60C3-R62C3"
Range("C67").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=2*(R3C3+R7C3+R9C3+R10C3+R14C3+R23C3+R27C3+R34C3+R36C3+R45C3+R46C3+R50C3+R52C3+R53C3+R60C3+R62C3-R4C3-R6C3-R11C3-R15C3-R17C3-R20C3-R21C3-R24C3-R31C3-R33C3-R40C3-R44C3-R47C3-R49C3-R61C3-R63C3)+R1C3+R2C3+R12C3+R16C3+R19C3+R25C3+R26C3+R28C3+R29C3+R30C3+R38C3+R39C3+R43C3+R54C3+R57C3+R59C3-R5C3-R8C3-R13C3-R18C3-R22C3-R32C3-R35C3-R37C3-R41C3-R42C3-R48C3-R51C3-R55C3-R56C3-R58C3-R64C3"
Range("C68").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=2*(R10C3+R11C3+R14C3+R15C3+R17C3+R19C3+R20C3+R30C3+R32C3+R35C3+R36C3+R37C3+R43C3+R45C3+R48C3+R59C3-R4C3-R5C3-R6C3-R9C3-R12C3-R16C3-R21C3-R22C3-R23C3-R25C3-R26C3-R27C3-R34C3-R42C3-R49C3-R56C3)+R1C3+R2C3+R7C3+R8C3+R24C3+R28C3+R38C3+R44C3+R47C3+R50C3+R51C3+R52C3+R58C3+R60C3+R61C3+R64C3-R3C3-R13C3-R18C3-R29C3-R31C3-R33C3-R39C3-R40C3-R41C3-R46C3-R53C3-R54C3-R55C3-R57C3-R62C3-R63C3"
Range("D66").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=128+(IF(R66C3127,127,R66C3)))"
Range("D67").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=128+(IF(R67C3127,127,R67C3)))"
Range("D68").Select
ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = "=128+(IF(R68C3127,127,R68C3)))"
Range("B66").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("B67").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("B68").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("D66").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("D67").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("D68").Select
Selection.Font.Bold = True
Range("C66").Select
With Selection.Font
.Name = "Arial"
.FontStyle = "Italic"
.Size = 10
.Strikethrough = False
.Superscript = False
.Subscript = False
.OutlineFont = False
.Shadow = False
.Underline = xlUnderlineStyleNone
.ColorIndex = 15
End With
Range("C67").Select
With Selection.Font
.Name = "Arial"
.FontStyle = "Italic"
.Size = 10
.Strikethrough = False
.Superscript = False
.Subscript = False
.OutlineFont = False
.Shadow = False
.Underline = xlUnderlineStyleNone
.ColorIndex = 15
End With
Range("C68").Select
With Selection.Font
.Name = "Arial"
.FontStyle = "Italic"
.Size = 10
.Strikethrough = False
.Superscript = False
.Subscript = False
.OutlineFont = False
.Shadow = False
.Underline = xlUnderlineStyleNone
.ColorIndex = 15
End With
Range("C1").Select

Paste that code into a new macro, right before where it says End Sub. “Macro1″ is a perfectly good name for the new macro. When you’ve pasted it, go back to a blank worksheet and use the Tools, Macro, Macros command; select your new macro and hit the Run push button.

Answer the questions that appear in your new worksheet, in column C. Remember, a 0 means you strongly disagree, a 3 means you strongly agree.

When you are done, rows 66 through 68 will tell you the values for red, yellow and blue. Look at the bold numbers. Feed those into Microsoft Windows Paint in the manner described above.

In general, a bright color means you’re firing on all cylinders in relating to the world around you and are probably a “bright” person. A greenish tint means you’re Yang, and you tend to relate to the world as part of a community; you could compare this with Installment Seven of the Yin and Yang essays, the “Foxworthy Chapter,” which is here. A purplish color means you are Yin, which means you relate to the world as an individual. Red represents an eagerness to achieve your goals, that “zest for life” we talked about earlier. Anything yellow means you have an extremely energetic and forceful personality and tend to change the mood of a room when you walk into it. The blue axis will correlate roughly to your Intelligence Quotient, insofar as it’s a decent test for your ability to solve problems when there is no one else around to help you, walk you through them, or support you emotionally.

If your red score is very high, you may be a good leader. In that case, if your green score is also high you tend to hand out promotions and delegate authority based on how much you identify with your subordinates; if your green score is low, you delegate based on your confidence in ability to get the job done, but you don’t necessarily know how it will get done. You tend to be trusting but judicious.

If your green score is substantially higher than your blue score, you were probably treated well in childhood, in terms of material possessions and/or attention from grown-ups.

If your red score is substantially higher than your blue score, you tend to be moody, and perhaps a little unpredictable.

One final note to the ladies. I know many among you like to reward your honey for his sacrifices and hard work over the years by ambushing him with “relationship quizzes” to find out if the two of you are compatible. You should not be doing that. Therefore, on the suitability of this test to determine whether or not lovers are destined to be together, I’ll keep my silence. It probably does have a bearing on that; I do have a few ideas about it. But I’ll be keeping them to myself. Really, if you want to do something together with him just bring him a beer and rub his feet.