Tag: kids

I have always been one of those people who value other people’s opinions and who can be easily led down a certain path. Saying that, my strong moral compass has almost always managed to steer me straight when I realise I’ve gone a little too far down the wrong path. Thanks mom! Continue reading “I Used To Be A Sheep “→

The age gap between my girls is 23 months apart. When we went for the first scan the Dr actually told us the baby was due on her sister’s birthday. Cue ALL the jokes about “Do you guys only do ‘it’ once a year?” – that got tired real quick! 😂

Actually, if I had gotten pregnant as soon as we started trying for number two it would have been a lot closer, but clearly God knew what he was doing because we had to wait 10 months before I conceived my youngest. I know many many people have children a lot closer than my two are, but I really did struggle to cope with two littles for the first two years. I am not ashamed to admit it.

One of my favourite features of Facebook is the ‘On This Day’ one, when Facebook reminds you what you were doing that day in years gone by. I love it because quite often the memory of the moment that status went up, or that picture was taken almost transport me back in time emotionally and I can relive the memories of that day, the good and the bad memories – either way, it’s always a reminder of how far we have come.

This is how my life has played out on this day over the past 10 years according to Facebook.

Father’s Day four years ago was on June 16th. How do I remember that? Because, it was the day our youngest daughter was born.

To say that I peaked too soon at giving daddy the greatest Father’s Day gift ever is a huge understatement. How do you top that? A baby. The cutest, easiest, most charismatic little hellion you ever did meet … that’s her. The baby, the last child! How do you top giving daddy that ‘gift’?

You know that kind of rage you feel when your ears get hot! That’s the rage that overtook me the other day and only my good breeding and the fact that my parents raised me to be polite and respectful are the only reasons I held my tongue. That and the fact that talking to a wall would have had a more receptive reaction. Continue reading “Why Two Is Enough For Us”→

Birthday Party Politics. I’m not talking about adults, or teenagers, they can sort themselves out and live with the consequences. I’m talking about children. Little kids’ birthday parties.

When planning a party there are a number of things you have to take into consideration:

Date – is your child’s birthday in the middle of the school week, on a weekend, or even in the school holidays?

Budget – how much can you afford to spend? If it’s unlimited, good for you. Realistically it’s not though so know what you can afford and that will then help you decide on the venue, theme and type of party

Your Child’s Wishes – Does your child want a big party or just a trip to the movies, or a meal out with one or two close friends?

Venue – if it’s a party with lots of friends, you need to decide if it’s practical to host the party at your house, or use a venue (remember your budget), take into consideration the weather and season too (indoor, outdoor, summer, winter, rainy season, snow.)

Theme – once you’ve considered all of the above, then your child (and you) can decide on a theme.

For me, I’d say those are the top things you need to consider when throwing a child’s birthday party.

With that said, please read this post I wrote a while ago about Birthday Party Etiquette. I’m not going to cover that again, but there are some valuable lessons and things to consider in there too. Manners people!! Manners costs nothing!

The point of this post is more about the adult politics that comes into play surrounding birthday parties for our precious children. Anette from 3 Little Buttons wrote this post about how her four-year old daughter was not invited to a friend’s birthday party and had to walk past the party to get home.

This really hit home for me, because my youngest daughter has also been excluded for the past two birthday’s in a row from a certain classmate’s birthday party. Let me try to be fair here before I start ranting and paint the whole picture for you.

My youngest’s birthday falls on a public holiday towards the end of the second school term, in winter. Two years ago her birthday fell on the day I was released from hospital after my first hip replacement (major surgery). I was determined to be home on her birthday regardless, but hosting a birthday party for her was just totally out of the question. Also at this point we were still new to the town and school only having been living here for about three months. And she was only turning two. We did celebrate at home with a cake and presents and my mom was here too, but as parties go, it wasn’t one.

Last year (the following year), I saw via the wonderful joy that is Facebook, that one of the little boys in her class had a birthday party and quite a few of their classmates were invited, but not my daughter. I was a bit hurt on her behalf. I tried to push it aside and make excuses to myself as to why this was; maybe it was only boys, maybe it was only family and a few friends, maybe there were budget or space challenges; but when there is photographic evidence to the contrary, your excuses run out and you just accept the obvious and forget about it whilst trying NOT to take it personally. Fortunately she didn’t know.

A few months later it was my daughter’s turn for her first proper party. She wanted a princess party at home so I invited five of her little girl friends, and if they had sisters the sisters could come too. Since my eldest would obviously be there she was allowed to invite one friend too. We decided not to spend money on a venue, so I set it up in our garage. We live in a townhouse so space was an issue and I couldn’t put the girls outside in the freezing cold weather. There were 10 little girls running around. They played dancing games, decorated cup cakes, everything was pink and sugary. The mommies were invited to stay (because I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my kids at someone’s house) and everyone had a lovely time. I put a few pictures on Facebook.

This year rolled round, and thanks again to the joys of Facebook, I see that the same little boy has just had a birthday party and all of their little class friend-clique were at the party, boys and girls, except for my daughter. Even my daughter’s BFF (whose parents are not friends with the family) was there. If I was ever in doubt of her being purposefully excluded, the doubt was now gone. There are two possible explanations here:

Contrary to what I hear and understand, my child and this boy are NOT friends, and my daughter is a bully who beats this little boy up on a daily basis. Not that I have ever heard of any problems from the parents or the teachers over the last 2 & 1/2 years that these kids have been in the same class.

The mother doesn’t actually like me and is upset that her son wasn’t invited to last year’s princess party. Therefore the only reason she hasn’t removed me from her Facebook friend list is because she is nosy. Which is fine. I can live with that.

Fortunately my daughter still is none-the-wiser about being the only one of her friends not invited to a party, again. I will keep it that way.

So what am I going to do about this? Firstly, I’m going to have a massive Facebook Friend cull! Secondly, nothing. What is there to be done?

This is just one personal example of Birthday Party Politics. I am quite sure this other mom has her own version, or hasn’t even given it a thought. I am equally sure that every mother/parent out there has their own story to tell about this topic. When did it get to this? Why has it got to this?

We can make a million excuses for our own behaviour and that of others but when we are trying to teach kindness, tolerance and inclusion to our children, shouldn’t we lead by example?

Maybe I’m the one taking this all far too personally. But I am a Lioness Mama! Hurt my children’s feelings and you will hear me roar. Not that they were hurt in this instance.

Definition: A Sneaky Sleeper is someone who falls asleep when they shouldn’t be sleeping. It usually refers to children who take daytime naps really late in the afternoon when mom turns her back for two minutes, and then can’t fall asleep at bedtime because they are not tired. It also applies to husbands and fathers who sneak off to nap, leaving mom to deal with the kids on her own … again, but that’s a whole new post on it’s own, I won’t elaborate now. Continue reading “My Sneaky Sleeper “→

No, I don’t want a noddy badge for attending. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case often is, I was brought up to do what I’m told. That means that no matter how much I might roll my eyes, tut, or whine about having to attend something that I don’t really want to, I will be there! I can’t live with the guilt if I don’t, also FOMO.

I’d spoken to a few of my fellow mom’s and the camp was pretty evenly split between attendees and non-attendees.

When I got there (first – even I’m rolling my eyes at myself) I met up with another mom who I wave at most days, and we walked to our daughter’s classrooms together. She was complaining about what a terrible day she’d had. As usual I felt I couldn’t complain about mine because she was a stressed out working mom who was juggling work and kids, while I’m a Stay-at-home-mom so have far more ‘free’ time than she does, even though if you’ve been reading my blog this week you’ll know I’ve had a shocker of a week with the girls.

When we got to the classroom the teachers were surprised to see us and jokingly remarked that we didn’t need to come if we were busy because they see us every day and the evening was mostly for parents who they never get to see. Nice.

Anyway, I’m still glad I went. My eldest got a fantastic report at the end of last term. I had my reservations at the beginning of the year which you can read about here if you want to, but it looks like she is doing brilliantly! She got all A+ and A grades on her report. I am a very proud mom. The only comment the teacher made was that she sometimes rushes through her work to finish first. I am definitely NOT surprised, she is ridiculously competitive – I hope it holds her in good stead for her future even if it is driving me crazy on a daily basis!

Here are a few of her masterpieces.

My youngest is also doing really well. She also got mostly As, a few Bs, and ONE fail! She can’t tell her left from her right. I was quite upset about this, almost taking it personally but after chatting with her teacher apparently most of her class still get confused (they are all 3 – 4yrs old). Surely they shouldn’t be grading a whole class on something they shouldn’t have to be achieving as a milestone just yet? My best comment was that she is very good at cutting. Yes, this I know. She is definitely scissor happy. So far she has cut her hair, her sister’s hair, the cat’s hair and most of her My Little Pony’s and Barbie’s hair. My child’s cutting skills should never be in doubt! Here is a selection of her artwork from school:

So at the end of a pretty rough week of parenting, and also battling a niggling persistent cough and cold which is making me miserable, I am happy to report that I am a very proud mom to two amazing little girls who will either go on to be CEO’s of their own companies one day, or the leader of their respective prison gangs … or maybe my youngest might be a hairdresser, you never know!