But sometimes my mind reverts to thinking in Frenchespecially when it comes to religion ... and certain emotions.That little poem I wrote was an example of how my mind 'flickers' back and forth sometimes.It's odd.It has nothing to do with it ... but the seduction I was subjected to ...the endearments and flattery and cajoling was said in French.Somehow ... that little poem needed to be expressed in the way it was.I was abused ... overlooked and dismissed and unseen and unheardin French.

Monsieur v-vYour French is better than mine.lolWhat started this exorcise in bilingual expression was the secondthing I wrote in my my poem 'alone again'

Your poem is ... raw ... viscerally evocative ...a credit to the angst you feel.I couldn't have said it better myself ...and ...I could never have said it as well as you did in French.

The words I've just written is what should have begun or endedwhat I said here earlier ... after 'Tres bien' ...and I'm ashamed that I didn't say it then.I apologize.

I have a problem.

... and now I'm stuck.I've spent quite literally hours trying to continue ...to explain ... and I can't.Know this v-vEverybody who is a regular in Poetry ...please know.I appreciate everything.I read everything.I make comments about everything people write ...but almost always ...I can't hit the submit button.What I say about myself is mine ... it can't be disputed.What I say about or to others is subject to interpretation ...judgement ... misunderstanding ...It just leaves me too vulnerable.Rather than say what could be the wrong thing ...I say very little ... or nothing.

I hope this makes sense because if I don't hit submit right now I won't be able to.I'm sorry.

you are talking to an insensitive oblivious motor mouth jerk who regularly and unintentionally offends people. just by being open and honest.

sometimes i am not even aware that i did it, and then i am confused as to "what did i say?"

i am so hard and impervious to personal attacks from years of extreme abuse and conflict, it takes a lot to get me riled.

i have a blackened soul, a heart of stone, a thick skull, a rhino hide, and a teflon suit. nothing really bothers me, and if it gets through all that armour, it passes right through me very quickly. years of practice i guess.so sometimes, it often bothers me that others are not so hard as i am.

some people are as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. i am more like a bull in a china shop. or more accurately, i feel like a porcupine in a room full of balloons.

because i don't get easily offended, it is hard for me to imagine why so many other people imagine insults in my words.

anyway, feel free to say what you want to me. i will let you know if you are crossing the line.

i dare you to hit the submit, and roll the dice.

if you say something "offensive" to someone "sensitive", you can always retract, edit, or delete it later.

and... as i have taught and told my children... whenever you hurt someone... regardless of whether you intend to offend... don't forget to accept, acknowledge, apologize, and atone.

Shyshark I also read everything posted in this forum and also find it hard to comment, even though I want to. Thanks for your honesty and venerability, I think I am going to make more of an effort to comment when I have something to say. And vv and Shyshark, I really truly love the things you write. So often they just cut right to the core of something. Thanks,Ben

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