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25 July 2010

Spin

RPM... or spin class, as you may know it. The stationary bikes kicked my butt (and thighs and calves) yesterday. It’s been a couple of years since I have attempted a spin class and wow. It just killed me. There were moments when I thought I could either throw up or pass out. But I worked hard. Maybe not at my full capacity, as I seriously thought I would grey out. I did go hard enough to feel the revolting, disgusting slackness that is my soft, pudgy body. Uhggg.

There were moments, even while I was spinning, that I wanted to cry with revulsion at my body and my slack, soft, disgusting lack of will power. How have I let myself become what I am?

I need to solidify my goals. I need a timeframe. This is something I always struggle with. Goals are meant to be specific, with an attainable timeframe. How do I know it’s attainable? Is 5kg in 2 months attainable? I really don’t know. How do I find out?

After my experience in the morning with my body, you would think it would motivate me to move forward... Instead I STILL indulged in two drinks and I feel awful. Maybe slightly hungover... but more an emotional hangover. Why do I continue to sabotage myself? Why? How do I stop?

If you know of any inspiring blogs, detailing the journey of someone who is become fit and healthy, could you please let me know?