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Monday, October 6, 2014

Angel Hair

Now God thought he was being clever. I couldn't help but roll my
eyes.

"I saw that," God said, but he didn't seem offended.

"Okay, so the devil betrayed you and now Hell is sealed off
and people don't go to Heaven after they're punished," I summarized
impatiently. "I still don't
understand what you need me to do."

"Well, we think we've figured out a spell that can blow the
passages back open," God explained.
"It's a pretty complicated one, too, with a whole bunch of
different ingredients."

"So you need me to get ingredients for you?" I
guessed. "Like what?"

God frowned as though trying to remember. "Oh, you know…stuff. Um, there's some basics, you know, like some
human blood, of course, and uh…."
He trailed off, snapping his fingers in Lucifer's direction like that
would jog his buddy's memory.

"It's all written down somewhere," Lucifer assured me.

"Some brimstone is involved, of course," God added. "I don't remember how much, but it's
probably not a whole lot."

"Angel hair," Lucifer supplied.

"Angel hair, yes," God agreed.

"Angel hair?" I echoed.
"I guess I would have expected an angel feather or something."

God busted up laughing, leaning over to wheeze out his glee from
his millennia-old lungs. He slammed the tabletop with his fist a few times.

"Oh," I said sarcastically, "you were just messing
with me. Well, you got me! That was a good one." I waited for God to recover so we could get the hell on with it. I even started mentally counting to ten to
try and calm myself down.

Lucifer was staring at me somberly. "It has to be uncooked," he told me. "Straight out of the box."