Case Number 05051

THE GUYVER 2: DARK HERO

The Charge

"Please don't confuse us with that moronic first movie. Thank
you."

Opening Statement

Here's an analogy for you:

The Guyver 2 is to BatmanASThe
Guyver is to Batman and Robin

Where the Batman franchise descended into ludicrous campiness upon
subsequent entries from the original, the sequel to the goofy The Guyver
took itself more seriously. Is it enough to make the movie worthwhile?

Facts of the Case

When we last left "The Guyver," a young man with an
extraterrestrial bio-mechanical weapon suit implanted in his body, and no one
cared. The filmmakers have obviously tried to revamp the Guyver's cinematic
rendering this go-round by discarding cheesiness of the first film and pursuing
a more serious, gorier interpretation.

Sean Barker is back, played by a different actor (David Hayter, who went on
to a huge career in video game voice work; Fun Fact: The IMDb notes that Hayter
is the voice of the EA slogan "It's in the game!"). From the get-go,
we know we're dealing with a more hard-core Guyver when the hero confronts a
gaggle of punks. He proceeds to beat the potato salad out of them, and then,
when the leader begs for his life, Guyver slits his throat and unleashes a
geyser of blood!

A year before, he believed he had wiped out the Chronos Corporation, a
hideout for aliens pretending to be humans but plotting to take over the world.
Now he's feeling the pressure of his new identity and the killer instincts that
accompany it. But when he hears about a controversial archaeological site that
may contain the secret to the Guyver armor, his interest is piqued and he's
off.

He meets Cori (Kathy Christopherson, After Diff'rent Strokes: When the
Laughter Stopped), the beautiful daughter of the scientist in charge of the
excavation. Sean knows right off the bat she's a lot better looking than his
previous girlfriend, but before he can get his "woo" on a Zoanoid, one
of the alien monsters shows up, rips the head off a hapless redneck, and engages
the Guyver in hand-to-hand combat. Chronos is back!

Sean must now unleash a clandestine campaign on the invading Zoanoids, avoid
the suspicions of a government agent, keep Cori safe, and solve the riddle of
the Guyver's purpose.

The Evidence

The first Guyver was a big, dumb joke. Despite some good creature
effects, the movie crashed and burned and crashed again, weighted down by
preposterous acting, corny music, and the
"are-you-kidding?-we-don't-take-any-of-this-crap-seriously!" attitude.
Now, The Guyver 2 maintains much of what hampered its predecessor,
specifically the terrible acting and general low-budget feel, but that's where
the comparisons cease.

The Guyver 2 is a much better effort and an entertaining sci-fi
B-movie in its own right. Much of the success has to do with the entirely new
tone; where the first movie was self-mocking, the creative minds behind The
Guyver 2 decided to play it straight, and give it an R rating to boot!

One of the great things about this movie is that it embraces its rating, and
earns it. Seriously, this flick is loaded with gore. Sure, most of it emanates
from violence towards "alien monsters" (read: guys in rubber suits),
but there are no punches pulled in the fluids department. These alien bastards
get decapitated, have their wrists bent backwards and broken off, melt, get
electrocuted, have their eyeballs punctured, receive copious puncture wounds
with elbow-mounted swords, and vomit gallons of blood.

The action is 100 times better.

The plot framing this violence is typical Z-grade material: good and evil
battle for the ultimate weapon and there's an ancient alien ship involved.
Though the acting is wretched -- particularly the government agent who delivers
his lines as if he was just coming to after major invasive surgery -- at least
the casting agent had the good sense to bring aboard better-looking people than
the last entry boasted.

I think the biggest compliments I can hand The Guyver 2 are a) it
kept me fairly entertained throughout, and b) it managed to cleanse my
"Guyver palate" after the horrendous first movie. No masterpiece by
any means, but solid B-movie fun.

Like the first release, this disc suffers from a bare closet of extras
(previews and DVD weblink content), but boasts some impressive technical
aspects. The widescreen format is great, though the picture is real
grainy. This is due to the miniscule budget, no doubt. New Line managed to
squeeze two digital tracks out of the movie -- Dolby Digital and DTS -- though
the surrounds aren't as active as I would have liked. On the other hand, if you
have a potent subwoofer setup, this movie will make your braces vibrate.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The movie is too long. Any film about a bio-armor-wearing superhero fighting
aliens should not exceed 90 minutes, much less 120! The Guyver 2
clocks in at about 2:06. Unnecessary. Though the final twenty minutes or so is
essentially non-stop fighting -- which is good -- two-thirds of the movie offers
too little Guyver-mayhem and too much character-emoting. With these actors, that
latter ain't a good thing.

Closing Statement

Skip the first, watch the second. If you're down with decent sci-fi kung-fu
and cruelty to alien beasts, here's the movie for you. Of course, you might have
to zip through a couple of painful scenes with your remote to get to the good
stuff.

The Verdict

New Line is thanked for a solid effort transferring this movie, and those
behind the making of The Guyver 2 are given marshmallows to roast over
the bonfire that will immediately follow the dousing with gasoline of old VHS
copies of the first movie.