Christians turn on to nipple dust and vibros

Some enterprising Christians have plugged a gap in the burgeoning online sex emporium market by opening a shop for those whose love of the Lord is matched by their love of rumpy-pumpy.

Yes indeed, the Wholly Love blurb declares: "Sex is a great gift from God – we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse!"

According to Church Times, Wholly Love is the brainchild of Stan and Stella Hagarty - a "happily married young couple with three children" who reckon "Christians needed to be positive about sex and its place in marriage". Mrs Hagarty added: "We are constantly told as Christians what we can’t do, but there is little promotion of what we can."

What you can do down at Wholly Love is stock up on Pure Arousal Super Stretch Rings, Colour Me Sexy Crayons and Silver Clitoral Charms. What you can't buy are handcuffs and butt plugs because, as Mrs Hargarty explained, the site "doesn't stock anything to do with pornography or nudity, nor does it sell sado-masochistic or anal items".

So, it's a quick rousing chorus of "What a friend we have in Jesus" round the piano, then on with the Valentine Hearts bra and brief set and out with the Snail Trail Vibrating Tickler. Praise be. ®