These two I understand. Others understand. Nobody stares at me (much) when I start mopping my eyes and blowing my nose. But the third one? The National March of the United States of America?

3. The piccolo obbligato in The Stars and Stripes Forever. It's just the piccolo part, and it gets me every dang time. I don’t know why it makes me boo hoo -- it’s not like I’ve ever been terrorized by a piccolo, or anything. And people do look at me funny for crying during this one.

BTW, did you know Stars and Stripes Forever has lyrics? Ones that don’t begin with “Be kind to your web-footed friends …”

Other nations may deem their flags the bestAnd cheer them with fervid elationBut the flag of the North and South and WestIs the flag of flags, the flag of Freedom's nation.

Hurrah for the flag of the free!May it wave as our standard forever,The gem of the land and the sea,The banner of the right.Let despots remember the dayWhen our fathers with mighty endeavorProclaimed as they marched to the frayThat by their might and by their rightIt waves forever.

Let eagle shriek from lofty peakThe never-ending watchword of our land;Let summer breeze waft through the treesThe echo of the chorus grand.Sing out for liberty and light,Sing out for freedom and the right.Sing out for Union and its might,O patriotic sons.

Other nations may deem their flags the bestAnd cheer them with fervid elation,But the flag of the North and South and WestIs the flag of flags, the flag of Freedom's nation.

Hurrah for the flag of the free.May it wave as our standard foreverThe gem of the land and the sea,The banner of the right.Let despots remember the dayWhen our fathers with mighty endeavorProclaimed as they marched to the frayThat by their might and by their rightIt waves forever.

'You know in the bell curve of bad-assness you are on the far edge. Maybe not as far as female helicopter door gunners but you are closer to her that to the soccer moms...'- someone who wishes to remain anonymous