I feel lost in space after spending these many days digging within, sorting and purging the not real, not necessary and not desired. I have more room in my head and all around. I am unfamiliar to this spaciousness. I am not comfortable in the less. Give me back my tumultuous thoughts! Let me cling to my well- worn baggage. They have been my travelling companions for a long time.

Yes, I crave for the familiar though dysfunctional. I am an addict to what feels good yet harmful. I must go through my delirium tremens. I have been in training all these months to strengthen my physical core – the squats, jumping jacks, and the toughest of all, the burpee and the plank. When I’m burping, I’m not sure I can get up. Yet I do each time. I fear each time when I get up, the room will spin out of control. It never happens. I am building a strong core.

I will observe this lost in space feeling. I will let my body feel its sensations. It is like doing a burpee. I get up and I am standing tall.

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About hafong

Hello! My name is (Leung) Hafong alias Lily Leung. You always say the last name first….that is the Chinese way. That is my partner lurking behind me. Since this is my blog, I won’t mention his name. But this is a rather cool picture. You see me and yet you don’t…sort of the way I feel about myself most of my life. So this blog is a self-exploration, an archeology dig of some sort. My tools…..words of a thousand or so at a sitting. I will try for that.