5 Things Only People With OCD Will Understand

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, otherwise known as OCD (other-otherwise known as the OC Disorder), is a condition in which unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). It’s possible to have only obsessions or only compulsions, and both aspects tend to follow a few basic routes — touch, sound, and visceral reactions and feelings are the most common areas where OCD shows up. Explaining OCD to people without it can be tricky, but here are five things only people with OCD understand (and want you to know).

OCD is not the same as being Type A.

Actually, they’re not really related at all. While people with OCD can totally be overly clean, OCD tends to be much, much more specific than “liking things to be neat.” In fact, it can function almost exactly the opposite way sometimes. Getting obsessive about one thing while letting the rest of your life fall into disarray is not uncommon, and that extends to the tidiness and deadline obsession Type A’s are known for. Compulsions and habits that do fall under the cleanliness tag are also usually a lot more complex and irrational than they appear. I’m very into washing my hands, but it has a lot more to do with the feeling of something I’ve just touched, or been in the vicinity of, or honestly maybe just thought about, than sanitation. And I’m pretty likely to over-wash my body and my clothes and everything around me because I feel like something is just…lingering. This isn’t the worst habit, but it’s not exactly reasonable, and I can’t really put it in the same category as my love of an empty inbox.

OCD is all about feelings, but maybe not in the way you’re thinking.

Compulsions are just mega intense feelings that you’re pretty much totally compelled to follow. They can be weird and confusing; sometimes they make you feel like you’re being physically pulled around to do something or sometimes they just feel like a little nudge in what may even end up being the right direction. It’s hard to separate the good from the bad, especially since “go with your gut” is the most common useless advice known to man. I spent a lot of my first years in New York feeling monstrously compelled to take turns and detours whenever I was walking around that made no sense whatsoever, and it was super normal for me to keep walking, sometimes for hours, until it felt “okay” for me to stop. The confusing part was that I’ve always loved strolling — it’s my go-to for brainstorming, clearing my head, or just killing time — but something about it was getting out of control. Saying no to the compulsion was hard, until one day I was literally too tired to give into it. It felt miserable and utterly wrong to get on a train the first time I wasn’t “done” walking, but it got easier and easier, eventually becoming not even a thing at all.

Those compulsions can make you feel powerful, until they don’t.

Feeling like you’re the only person in the entire world who really “gets” it is a misconception that every single human on earth will experience at least once in their lives, but feeling pulls and compulsions on a regular basis can seriously mess with the way you think about your existence. It’s easy to give in to the idea that you’re on some level of understanding that no one else is, and experiencing this idea of purpose early on can definitely boost your confidence. But that concept can turn pretty quickly. A lot of people constantly feel like they’re making deals with something entirely unknown, but those deals feel completely real, and the idea of breaking them or screwing up becomes terrifying. There’s also a constant sense that your compulsions are there to lead you to something you’re absolutely supposed to be present for, with dire consequences if they’re ignored. That time I got on the train instead of walking, I was convinced I was missing out on something major, and the idea that I was just letting something so important go led to some very public tears and a lot of anxiety. But I’d done nothing wrong, and everything was okay.

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One way to break out of the OCD power struggle? Fight the instinct to keep this superpower to yourself, and find someone to talk to about it. A therapist, a family member, a friend you trust — making the unknown known instantly takes away its power, and having another pair of eyes on your situation immediately makes it feel less dire.

OCD gets along with pretty much everything else you have going on.

OCD is definitely a team player, and isn’t shy about getting into whatever else you have going on with your body and mind. It can function seamlessly with (and sometimes exactly like) depression, general anxiety disorder, eating disorders, and a whole host of other behavior disorders. Feeling your symptoms way more than usual? You might want to check the calendar — your period can also intensify existing OCD. The natural ebb and flow of hormones that regulate the menstrual cycle put everything on high alert, and the same factors that create your need to cry, scream, and eat literally everything can feel like they’re tripling your compulsions and obsessions.

The good news is that knowledge is half the battle; getting to know your body is crucial, and understanding what’s going on when things feel off or overwhelming is a major tool in getting yourself back to stable.

OCD is manageable, but it takes some trial and error to figure out.

There are so many ways to handle OCD, but it definitely takes time and work to figure out your own method. Every single person is different, but it’s best to start with a therapist or counselor and move forward from there. It’s never too early to develop a plan for when things get out of control. OCD wanes and waxes, so being prepared for the less-than-fun times is important. Get to know your triggers, AKA the things that can send you into your least functional self, and get to know what works against them. The general tools to keep your mental health in order — open and honest conversation, exercise, meditation, healthy relationships, etc — will all help here for sure. Medication is also an option, but remember to be honest with your doctor if you’re not feeling something prescribed; there are a lot of options out there, and it’s in your best interest to find what works for you rather than settle with your first attempt.

Your best tool in managing OCD is remembering that it’s a part of you, not the whole thing. Set goals, spend time on your family and friendships, and allow yourself to explore what makes you happy. You’ll find, OCD or not, that you’re functioning the best when you’re at peace with yourself. It can be difficult to understand that working against factors within you isn’t working against yourself on the whole, but with patience and a commitment to self-love, you’re absolutely going to be fine.