Later….

I went to bed too early last night because I wasn’t feeling up to par. So here I am before daybreak at the Mac. Had oatmeal and a cup of dirty chai. That’s chai with espresso in it. I don’t make it; it comes in a teabag and is fabulous.

Last night I had such a sad dream of Bob. He was dying and speaking to my son, who was then quite young. He told him he would always be with him. This seemed to be an earlier period in history, perhaps a hundred years ago. I was listening as he spoke to his son, imparting his love and wisdom to him. I woke up and lay there feeling nostalgic for what used to be.

I don’t know what today will hold. Yesterday I felt too bad to get out of the house but I feel fine today.

This life, with all of its messiness, is enough to keep me occupied without Facebook. As an introvert, FB is too extroverted for me to handle. In real life, I only have a few friends. Not the droves you have on FB. Most of the time I am alone and can do exactly what I like. No need to scroll through pages of updates on people I will never meet.

I spend most of my time on self-care. As a widow, ain’t no one gonna do it for me. I have to stay organized and be as healthy as I can. So there is quiet time, walking, Tai Chi, writing, reading, TV, cooking, etc. I am a full-time job.

I return to favorite mantras:

The light will heal us.
The Work will find a way.
I am in God’s presence now.
I choose to love myself.
If it’s right for me, it’s right for the universe.