Hollow Mask

by Croi Bris
(United States)

Do you see me?Dancing in the halls, Emitting energy in that gleeful way I do?Do you see my cheerWashing away any petty fear?Do you see my smile?For that is what I am this whileDo you see my spritely stance?Did you look but at a glance?

But now I challenge something deeperFor you to look a little steeper Off the cliffs from the oculiAnd into the meaning behind my sighInto the swirling waters of the soulBeneath that grin there is such a tollTo discover who I truly amIf for even just a short moment’s spam

This person locked all within meIs not radiating hope but rather a pleaTo find meI beg you, please— Notice me!

Notice that I’m not okay insideBecause I suffer loss from the unforgiving TideThat swept away the best of meWhen friends and love I had to leaveSure I look content on shellBut peel beneath to my bottomless wellOf yearning sadness for the First Love’s touchOf friend’s support that meant so muchNow that I left them, what shall I do?

I walk these halls with a merry tuneWith a beaming countenance as of the moonBut take time to notice, stop to stare See that behind my laugh emotion is all but bare

So now you know that behind my maskI have the face of no easy taskI’m struggling hardTo break the wardsOf my crippling painTo move on againBecause I know somewhere down deepThose old loves I forever may keep

If I am now at peace with this thoughtWhy then is my heart just so distraught?As I search within I think I’m awareThat mind’s peace does not fix the heart bareFor although three is one not one is three:Mind healed in logic and Soul in Calvary,But with malnourished Heart, so it is saidThat only with another can it be fedSo now Mind is healed with this knowledge knownAnd Soul is secure from scattering winds blownNow all that is left is to feed the starving

This person locked all within meIs not radiating hope but rather a pleaTo find meI beg you, please— Notice me!

Hi, I moved recently and I feel so torn apart about it. I moved from my friend, my first real boyfriend, and family, and being only fifteen I have no choice in this matter. I have gone through anorexia, cutting, and depression for the past year, and it seems like this move makes it worse. I felt horrible before I moved across the country in fear of actually leaving my home, and now that I’ve left, I feel nothing inside me. Everyone thinks me to be a happy person but I’m not. I feel nothing.

I was so on fire for the Lord last May but now I search and cannot find… everyone says that He’s waiting to hold me but where? I can’t find him! I know that I still believe in Him and His works and love, so why do I feel this way still? Please help me...