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We didn’t know this was a “problem” until seeing this advert. (Charmin)

At the risk of turning this into a “Which is better?” debate, it’s fair to say that there’s quite a difference between British and American TV ads. What one viewing audience finds acceptable is often highly inappropriate to the other and I find myself saying “I can’t believe they just showed that” on both sides of the Pond.

British ads definitely push the envelope when it comes to suggestive and titillating content. After much complaining and gnashing of teeth by a section of the British viewing public, this Iron Bru TV ad was deemed suitable for family viewing by the Advertising and Standards Authority (ASA). For Brits, it wasn’t so much the humongous boobs bursting out of a low cut sweater, but the possibility of an inappropriate relationship between mother and son (or his friends) that was all too much.

It is a little racy though isn’t it? Or have I been in the States too long? Still, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fly here.

Lest I give the impression that the U.K. has no standards whatsoever, the ASA drew the line at Keira Knightly’s Chanel ad and banned it from being aired during children’s programming. Citing sexual tension between her character and the photographer (which you can find at about 1:50 minutes in), the ad was deemed “unsuitable for young children”. I should bally well think so. Harrumph!

While there’s no doubt that most American ads would make the Puritan founders proud, there are some that, while not showing much in the way of human flesh, are still enough to make this Brit blush. They’re not so much suggestive as downright Eeeuuuwww-inspiring.

Picture the scene: I have successfully regained control of the remote after my ten year old’s allotted viewing time, switched over to the 5:30 pm national news and resigned myself to cooking dinner. The boy is now playing Lego on the floor and all is well with the world.

But I have screwed up. Big time. The remote has been carelessly placed on the arm of the chair instead of within arm’s reach. Not quite two minutes elapse before the boy lifts his innocent face and asks “Mom, what’s erectile dysfunction?” (I think I remember saying “It’s when your willy doesn’t work properly,” which seemed to be an adequate response, despite the swearing, choking and muttering that accompanied it.)

You know the ads I’m talking about? Impossibly slim, good-looking and unabashedly horny retirees, over-dubbed by the male in the picture talking ad nauseam (or so it seems when you’re diving for the remote) about “sexual performance,” “intimacy problems” and all manner of overly-personal topics.

(Be warned Brits, there is no “watershed” on American TV. You can be quietly watching the 5:30 pm local news one minute and learning about four-hour erections the next.)

Another ad campaign I’m always surprised to see on American TV features the Charmin’ bear family — mammals that not only use toilet paper, but are left with teeny pieces of it stuck to their bums. Eeuuww. The ad tagline is “no one likes a bathroom tissue that leaves pieces behind.” Okay, they’re cartoon bears, but we are still subjected to close-ups of the little bear’s still-dirty bottom, while Mother bear cleans him up with a dustpan and brush. What the what? Where is the outrage, Americans?

What seemed to push British viewers entirely over the edge was a 2005 ad for Kentucky Chicken Zingers. Apparently, back in the day, it was the most complained about TV ad of all time in the U.K. Over one thousand furious parents expressed anger and concern about the negative effect it would undoubtedly have on their children.

“What,” you might ask, “could the ad possibly be showing?” Boobs, pornography, excessive swearing? Were young children destined for a life of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll after being exposed to this iniquity? Much, much worse. It went against everything a proud Brit stands for. Good manners. (Cue rousing choruses of “Rule, Britannia.”)

A bunch of call center workers eating KFC — and talking with their mouths full.