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Holiday time

Those of you who have been following my musings over the years will know the affection, esteem and, dare I say it, love we Irish have for our politicians. Our love for our Glorious Leaders rivals that even of the North Koreans.

They have a very hard time deciding how to spend the taxes we willingly give them and of course we rely on them to provide the guidance as to how we should live our lives. We would be utterly lost without them.

Unlike most countries, we want to show our appreciation for all their hard work and diligence so each year we send them all on an all expenses paid holiday to the destination of their choice. Not only that but we send their families too, though for the sake of accounting we count the extras as "civil servants", "advisors" and the like.

This is where we are sending them this year –

US – Taoiseach

France – Tánaiste

Canada – Michael Noonan

China – Brendan Howlin

Italy – Richard Bruton

New York – Joan Burton

San Francisco – Jimmy Deenihan

London and Birmingham – Pat Rabbitte

United Arab Emirates – Phil Hogan

Mexico – Alan Shatter

New Zealand and Eastern Australia – Simon Coveney

Japan and Korea – Frances Fitzgerald

Boston and Cleveland – James Reilly

Atlanta and Savannah – Minister Leo Varadkar

Washington DC – Attorney General Máire Whelan SC

Lebanon – Paul Kehoe

Scotland – Jan O’Sullivan

Pittsburgh and Philadelphia – Dinny McGinley

Spain – John Perry

Netherlands – Michael Ring

Vietnam – Kathleen Lynch

Germany – Fergus O’Dowd

Chicago and Kansas City – Sean Sherlock

Romania – Ciaran Cannon

Western Australia – Alan Kelly

Russia – Alex White

Norway – Tom Hayes

Belgium and Luxembourg – Paschal Donohoe

Now you may think this is rather an extravagant gesture, costing us millions when we are hard pressed to pay the electricity bills?

Not personally,but my kid brother live in garfield heights for a few years and has ,to put it mildly,an "eclectic" array of acquaintances in said city.I must pick his brains.(I'd say you could get a good employee for the price of a bottle of black bush)

Lebanon?! Who the fuck celebrates Paddy's Day in Lebanon?!!!!! I've got this picture in my head now of Hezbollah warlords cruising round Beirut's main streets in open top jeeps wearing oversized green hats and trading in their AK-47s for inflatable tricoloured hammers.