"This is embarrassing. I'm probably the world's preeminent advice columnist, but right now I need some advice myself. You see, I've been accused of ableism, ageism, classism, misogyny, racism, rape-apologism, serophobia, sizism, transphobia, and almost every other “-ism” there is. I've already dismissed these claims as ridiculous, but now it's getting extreme. There's a whole website devoted to showcasing my oppressive behaviour (http://fucknodansavage.tumblr.com/) and I've been glitter-bombed twice by social justice activists! (Yes, that means they threw glitter at me... trust me, it's even messier than it sounds.)

- Defending Against Nags"

Thanks for writing DAN,

Your words and behaviours, ranging from dismissive to downright hateful, have no place in any movement claiming to counter homophobia and sex-negativity. As a matter of fact, they have no place anywhere. Here are a few ways you can start to hold yourself accountable:

Acknowledge the impact of your words and actions.

Listen and learn from the people who have taken the time and energy to call you out and challenge you to change your behaviour.

Apologize, publicly and sincerely.

Take action to MAKE things better! Actively fight for an end to all forms of oppression in our communities and in the world.

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Let's Review... Shit Dan Said:

ABLEISM

When a reader asked Dan to stop using the word “retarded” as an insult, Dan decided to use a substitution for the word, replacing this derogatory term with “leotarded.” Rather than take this as an opportunity to reflect on the power of language, acknowledge the impact of his words, apologize, and stop using the term, Dan decided to make light of the issue with a mocking response.

RACISM

Dan has repeatedly placed blame on Black and Latino communities for the success of homophobic legislation in the USA. During the Prop 8 debate in California, Dan said “I’m done pretending that the handful of racist gay white men out there—and they’re out there, and I think they’re scum—are a bigger problem for African Americans, gay and straight, than the huge numbers of homophobic African Americans are for gay Americans, whatever their color.”

This statement clearly plays on racist stereotypes that portray people of colour as intolerant, sexually conservative, and backwards. Despite being called out by queer people of colour for the racism underlying these claims (as well as statistical data disproving his claims), Dan refuses to apologize.

RAPE-APOLOGISM

In his column, Dan responded to a reader asking for advice on supporting a woman in an abusive marriage. Dan counseled the reader to interrogate her “story.” Part of rape culture is the tendency for people to disbelieve and question sexual assault and abuse survivors, even though it is a known fact that sexual assault and abuse are vastly underreported and coming out as a survivor can be an incredibly painful and difficult process. Dan's advice frequently reinforces an attitude of sexual entitlement. While instructing his readers to be “GGG” (good, giving, and game), Dan fails to consider how power dynamics shape intimate relationships.

SEROPHOBIA

(Discrimination against HIV+ people)

Dan has described HIV positive people who have unprotected sex with HIV negative people as “deadbeat infectors,” advocating for mandatory drug-support payments from people who transmit the virus. By arguing for policy that targets individuals and criminalizes HIV positive people, Dan contributes to discrimination, stigmatization, policing, and marginalization already experienced by HIV positive people on a daily basis.

FAT-PHOBIA

Dan has repeatedly made derogatory and pathologizing comments about fat people and has gone as far as implying that weight gain is a legitimate reason for divorce/separation. Dan has defended his fat-hating prejudice, despite being called out for body-policing and despite significant research calling into question dominant understandings of the relationship between fat and health.

TRANSPHOBIA

Whether he's throwing around words like “shemale,” “bad/selfish/stupid tranny,” and “freak,” advocating that trans people postpone transition to make things easier for their kids, or insulting trans folks for insisting that people use their preferred pronouns, Dan Savage is no friend to trans communities and their allies. No, he is part of a broader trend of privileged cis-gendered gays who routinely ignore trans issues and transphobia in “GLBTQ” and sex-postive organizing.

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We are queers and allies coming together to form an un-welcoming party for Dan Savage, noted for his ableism, ageism, classism, misogyny, racism, rape-apologism, serophobia, sizism, transphobia and, oh yeah, that column.

We express solidarity with glitter bombers in Eugene, Oregon and Irvine, California and seek to join our voices with all those calling out Dan Savage, his apologists, and a broader culture of oppression that legitimizes his words and actions. We will not band together behind a man or a movement that refuses to acknowledge the realities of poverty, racism, colonization, ableism, criminalization, transphobia, and other forms of violence experienced by queer communities.

We're joining together to tell Mr. Savage that he's not welcome in our city, in our hearts, or in our bedrooms. We're fed up with him being held up as a spokesperson for sex-postive, GLBTQ politics and we want to make it clear – to him and to everyone else who will listen – that Dan Savage doesn't speak for us.