All hail the lord

gunned:
i get bloody noses a lot and i can
usually feel it about 30 seconds
before it starts dripping. today in
class my nose started to bleed. but
right before, I turned to this very
religious boy who sits next to me and
whispered "hail satan" as my nose
started to drip. he freaked and fell
back and hit his head he had to go
home for the rest of the day.

>Be me
>Have deeply religious family
>I'm kinda indifferent about it
>Sitting in class
>Next to me sits crazy bitch
>Like I'm pretty sure she's 100% loco in the coco
>One day while going over the reading in "Divine Comedy"
>Crazy bitch swivels and looks at me
>Whispers "Hail Satan"
>Dafuqsheon.avi
>Suddenly her nose pours out a ******* gallon of blood
>Like this **** was the Niagara falls of blood on heroine
>Backing the **** up thought her head exploded or some ****
>**** that noise I'm going home
MFW I got to go home early that day
MFW no one stopped me
MFW people though it was for religious reasons

In Bioshock Infinite Booker DeWitt experiences nose bleeds when he travels to alternate universes. Also in the Butterfly effect the protagonist experiences nose bleeds and a seizure when he changes his past

I find the thought of turning a medical issue into comedy to be both clever and quite metal. The very religious boy is likely a sanctimonious ****, thus the reason the bleeder wanted to mess with him, and likely will witness to his youth group about the time he was confronted by a servant of satan. The thoughts that must be going through the religious kid's head amuse me, since it is his fervent belief in God that turned a nosebleed prank into a confirmation of the power of the devil in his eyes. Also there was slapstick in there.

to summarize this content had everything:
-edgy situation in a classroom
-clever prank playing on known psychological tendencies of prankee
-comedic use of blood
-turning medical issue into source of power
-invocation of satan's name
-smiting of the firm believer in the Dark Lord's name
-incapacitation of said believer
-increasing the faith of said believer so the ultimate revelation of Satan's might will drop him farther
-and it had a pun

>what kid of a phagget do you have to be to get random nose bleeds, why? Do you even into top of the foodchain
>the fact the kid got scared by something as stupid as a nosebleed means that it and op are like 12, doesent matter it was very religious its just a damn
>the "religous" kid actualy belived that Satan has any real power
>the bleeder unrealisingly sold its soul
>le edgy satan *tip fedora*
>implying this story is real
>tumblr post
>invocation of satan's name
>proving that satan wins only if you let him
>pun

care to put yourself through looking glass you know so that we evluate that your not one either oh but your humna like ever other ****** here get down from pedistal grab a broom help out i bet your oh look there fire guy who just stand there finger up his ass pft nay what do i know clearly not enlgish langauge