Fall Reflections, Relationship Changes

Fall has arrived! This means that all of the seasoned expats have returned from their summer getaways and many new ones are just settling in. The weather is changing and the kids are finally back in school. Now that we have resumed our regular routines, it seems like a perfect time to reflect and make some positive relationship changes. Furthermore, don’t you and your partner deserve to end the year closer than ever before?

Fall Promotional Offer

Our passion is helping couples realize how small changes can have a big impact. While most couples are able to make many changes on their own, many won’t do so simply because they lack the time or don’t know where to begin.

Let us help you discover how spending just two days together, without any daily distractions, can change the course of your relationship.

Register for a two day private retreat between 15 October and 12 December and receive 15% off.

Based on the Hold Me Tight® Program

The private retreat is based Hold Me Tight®. This is an evidence based, relationship enrichment program developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. Consequently, it is not couples therapy. However, it does utilize methods from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) which is known to help most couples effectively make changes in their relationships. As a result, it is one of the leading forms of therapy currently available to couples.

The retreat focuses on helping you move out of a negative pattern of conflict and disengagement. The methods you will develop will teach you how to communicate differently and step out of recurring arguments. This greater awareness will help increase (or restore) intimacy, strengthen your relationship and therefore, create a deeper connection.

This retreat is intended for couples who are committed to strengthening their relationship and not currently in crisis. To learn whether this retreat is right for you and most of all, if you are eligible, we welcome you to book an online non-obligatory Skype introduction.

Here is a list of 10 things that awesome partners provide for their significant other.

(For a shorter version, check out the video below!)

1. Genuine interest

Awesome partners recognize that a happy relationship relies on showing their partner that they are genuinely interested in them as an individual. They are curious about their partner and they show it. They do this by spending time together and by being available for emotional closeness.

2. Understanding, before advice

Couples are often too quick to give their partners advice. Instead of simply listening and offering understanding, they dive right into problem solving.

Awesome partners know that listening and understanding their partner must proceed offering advice. They are happy to advise their partner if asked, but in general, they believe that their partner is capable of solving their own problems. They realize that what their partner sometimes really needs is someone to lean on.

3. Admiration

Awesome partners tell their other half what they admire and love about them. This makes their partner feel good and in turn creates a positive environment.

Furthermore, awesome partners know that developing fondness and admiration for their partner safeguards them from developing a negative outlook on the relationship. The more they focus on the things they love about their partner the less they become irritated by the things they don’t like.

4. Listening

Along with expressing what they like, awesome partners also listen. And they do this through asking open questions which prompts deeper answers. When their partner feels like they are being heard they find it easier to open up and connect. This helps the couple feel like they know each other better, which is important for the longevity and satisfaction of the relationship.

5. Empathy rather than criticism

In a world full of criticism, awesome partners know that what there partner really needs is more empathy. Empathy creates a secure feeling and allows both parties to be receptive to the needs of their partner. It also makes them more likely to listen and respond to requests. Criticism, on the other hand, only leads to defensiveness and distancing.

6. Unconditional support

When someone outside the relationship attacks, awesome partners know the importance of siding with their partner and not the outsider. Standing up for their partner shows their partner that they are allies, not enemies. This helps the couple feel like they are on the same team and can rely on each other for unconditional support.

7. Take responsibility for their share

Awesome partners are able to see their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. All healthy relationships are based on a partnership where each partner is equally responsible. Both parties bring in issues and problems into the relationship. Neither are to blame for this, yet both must take responsibility for their share.

8. Focus on the positive

Instead of noticing the things their partner does wrong and minimizing what they do right, awesome partners focus on the positive. They know that it is important to emphasize what there partner is doing that pleases them and to let go of the little things.

Just as with parents who want to help their kids grow and learn, awesome partners put the emphasis and praise on what their partner is doing right while overlooking what they are doing wrong.

9. Turn towards their partner

Instead of turning away during times of distress, awesome partners know how to turn towards their partner. While it’s not always easy to turn toward their partner during disagreements, awesome partners realize that continuing to develop this skill creates more connection and a greater feeling of closeness. It also prevents their partner from feeling rejected.

10. Allow for change and let go of past mistakes

Humans are constantly changing, making lots of mistakes along the way. Awesome partners see this as a positive thing and are able to allow room for change while at the same time letting go of past mistakes their partner has made. No one is perfect, but awesome partners realize that their partner doesn’t make mistakes on purpose and that they genuinely want to do better.

We will be bringing you blog posts that directly relate to common issues that expat and cross-cultural couples experience while living abroad. We will also cover the everyday issues that most couples go through on their journey through life together.

The posts will be based on evidence-based research and professional knowledge that we have gathered from working with countless expats and cross-cultural couples from around the globe. We will also be drawing on insights from our own experiences living abroad, in a cross-cultural relationship.

Our aim is to help couples who are living in their non-native environment thrive, both as a couple and as individuals.