MY son is going to take a year out before going to college. He’s going to work in a pub in Devon as a barman and will be living on the premises. I know of the place where he’ll be working and most of the people associated with it are heavy drinkers, including the managers of the place who also live on site. I’ve heard that alcohol is not the only substance that is consumed there too. Is there any way I can talk him out of doing this, do you think? I’m so afraid of anything happening to him.

T.H. Birchgrove Cardiff

LINDA SAYS: He’s finished his higher education and will work in a pub, so he’s over 18. The drink and drug consumption is something you and he can talk about before he leaves, so at least you’ll know he isn’t going to be taken unawares and pressured into joining in the after-hours activities. You must know your son better than anyone else. If he’s a sensible young man, feel assured that, like the proverbial horse, he may be led, but not touch a drop. Otherwise, let him know you’re ‘there’ and that any problems can be brought to you, not drowned in drink.

I need more friends

I’VE got two good friends I’ve known for years and years, but I’m too shy to make any more. I hate when somebody tries to strike up a conversation with me and sometimes just walk away even though it’s rude and hurtful. The thing is, I’d love more friends and be able to go out in a gaggle like my two existing ones do. When I’m with them I talk the hind leg off a donkey and can sing and dance with them. Why should they feel they should provide my only company? How can I get over this?

H.V. Cardiff

LINDA SAYS: You’ve got two great mates! Get them on the job. Tell them exactly what you’ve written here and enlist their help. They could take it in turns to bring along another friend once a week, introduce you, and get you to join in having the same good time as you do whenever the three of you’ve been together. Who knows, you might be able to manage two new friends’ friends eventually. Welcome your new acquaintances and, over time, you’ll probably be able to consider yourself and the others as a ‘gaggle’. Yeah! Be a gaggle – have a giggle!

How can I leave?

AFTER 40 years of marriage, I’m certain that I want to leave my husband. I’ve stayed for the sake of our children who are now in their late thirties with children of their own. He was earning such a good salary I couldn’t deprive them of a good standard of living. He and his family always believed he “married beneath him” and they’ve treated me like filth, especially my husband himself with his constant nasty put-downs. I’m on the verge of retiring and want life without him. He’s got severe spinal problems but it doesn’t stop him being cruel. Could I be so heartless as to go?

Anon, Vale of Glamorgan

LINDA SAYS: Those who love you and know what you’ve been through will be behind you. They are the only ones whose opinions matter. Look, who’s the heartless one? He and his family sound a right bunch. Loads of good years ahead of you! You deserve to live the rest of your life in peace and with a sense of self-worth, not ground down by vicious put-downs. He doesn’t appreciate you, so how would he feel forsaken?

The Surgery is a helpline for young people, offering advice on many dilemmas, including disappointing exam results, contraception, “legal” highs and much more. Call 0800 110100 free (Calls from mobiles may vary), daily, 24 hours