A few new ideas come to mind thanks to old bishops

Mark Petruzzi

Published: Tuesday, September 17, 2013 at 12:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Monday, September 16, 2013 at 11:32 a.m.

A recent lesson from the Adult Forum at my community of faith (aka Sunday school) has really stuck with me. Not surprisingly, my engineer brain usually strives to integrate my spiritual self with the brick and mortar world. In this case, one of the discussion topics was how early Christianity transitioned from a spiritual community focused on action and doing things into one where the primary attention was on believing.

Instead of caring, feeding, clothing, nurturing, helping, sharing and showing love for one another, it started to become sufficient to simply say "I believe" and stop there. Since I'm only a mail-order reverend, this is a great oversimplification of one consequence of the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, but the idea struck a chord.

While I doubt the adage "actions speak louder than words" dates back to the year 325, I also found myself linking it with "the things we do for love." Aside from walking in the rain and the snow, there are plenty of tangible things we all can do for family and friends on a daily basis. I know part of this contemplation on showing love via action stems from the fact that Carolena would have turned 9 this month. The actions she needed from us during her brief 6 months are something I find myself constantly using as a basis for comparison and valuation of my skills as a father and friend.

Robin and I find that we talk about her most days, usually without a really conscious effort, which is good. As her siblings grow older they have more questions about her, and we're glad to answer them and pull out the scrapbooks to help make her more real for them.

As my recent Sunday school discussion highlighted, we often don't act because we know the action is going to be unpleasant or uncomfortable. It's rare these days that we'd be literally thrown to the lions, so what we're trying to head off is likely only figurative. At the same time, it is also true that we're so busy or distracted that we sometimes miss opportunities to take actions that will be enjoyable and memorable.

The longer Robin's heart and my heart are intertwined, the more we enjoy adventures and escapades over stuff. A family vacation, live concert with a favorite band or never-enough Hot Date can be exhilarating (and sometimes exhausting, for different reasons). In her case, she's also in the midst of an "experience triathlons phase" that is fully supported by the Team Petruzzi base camp.

We also find that sharing an experience benefits the giver and recipient, although this mainly applies to those old enough to vote in the family. The memories are indeed gifts, and while they may fade or even disappear with age they probably will last longer than any shirt, kitchen appliance or electronic gadget du jour. For our younger crowd, there will still be wish lists for birthdays and Santa for a while to come.

My own brief time with Carolena has left me trying to live intentionally and in the moment, sometimes to the detriment of deadlines and a lawn in need of mowing. In my defense, just like you never step into the same river twice, there will never be another Lego vehicle exactly like the one I just built with Cooper and Erik or coloring book masterpiece completed with Analise.

On a smaller scale, several weeks ago our cat of more than 13 years developed some health problems and within the span of a week had to be euthanized. Since pets can't really speak for themselves, behavioral and health issues have to be confronted and addressed even when we know the outcome is likely to be prickly and inconvenient. Diabetic cat, anyone?

There really isn't an option to sit around just "believing" for a companion animal that depends on you, and I'm sure we all know someone who has racked up hefty veterinary bills for a family pet. Losing Zaboo was also bittersweet as she was one of the few remaining tangible connections to our time with Carolena. With Deacon and Zaboo both gone now, there are moments when our time as an idyllic family unit of Mom, Dad, Daughter, Dog and Cat feels like a dream.

If we are to live a life fully and with no regrets, every 24 hours is another opportunity to be a verb instead of just thinking about one. Believe you love your children, and do things to show them your love. Believe the world can be a better place, and do things to make it so. And while we're at it, let's drop any narrow-minded, outdated beliefs that we never plan to act upon. Even though it's almost certain that Gandhi didn't say it, "be the change you wish to see in the world" echoes these ideas. Somewhere, a rector is smiling.

Mark T. Petruzzi is enjoying the deep, philosophical conversations held every hour in "the office" while Analise has been potty-training. There's nothing quite like setting an alarm to help keep you focused in the moment.

<p>A recent lesson from the Adult Forum at my community of faith (aka Sunday school) has really stuck with me. Not surprisingly, my engineer brain usually strives to integrate my spiritual self with the brick and mortar world. In this case, one of the discussion topics was how early Christianity transitioned from a spiritual community focused on action and doing things into one where the primary attention was on believing.</p><p>Instead of caring, feeding, clothing, nurturing, helping, sharing and showing love for one another, it started to become sufficient to simply say "I believe" and stop there. Since I'm only a mail-order reverend, this is a great oversimplification of one consequence of the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, but the idea struck a chord. </p><p>While I doubt the adage "actions speak louder than words" dates back to the year 325, I also found myself linking it with "the things we do for love." Aside from walking in the rain and the snow, there are plenty of tangible things we all can do for family and friends on a daily basis. I know part of this contemplation on showing love via action stems from the fact that Carolena would have turned 9 this month. The actions she needed from us during her brief 6 months are something I find myself constantly using as a basis for comparison and valuation of my skills as a father and friend. </p><p>Robin and I find that we talk about her most days, usually without a really conscious effort, which is good. As her siblings grow older they have more questions about her, and we're glad to answer them and pull out the scrapbooks to help make her more real for them. </p><p>As my recent Sunday school discussion highlighted, we often don't act because we know the action is going to be unpleasant or uncomfortable. It's rare these days that we'd be literally thrown to the lions, so what we're trying to head off is likely only figurative. At the same time, it is also true that we're so busy or distracted that we sometimes miss opportunities to take actions that will be enjoyable and memorable.</p><p>The longer Robin's heart and my heart are intertwined, the more we enjoy adventures and escapades over stuff. A family vacation, live concert with a favorite band or never-enough Hot Date can be exhilarating (and sometimes exhausting, for different reasons). In her case, she's also in the midst of an "experience triathlons phase" that is fully supported by the Team Petruzzi base camp.</p><p>We also find that sharing an experience benefits the giver and recipient, although this mainly applies to those old enough to vote in the family. The memories are indeed gifts, and while they may fade or even disappear with age they probably will last longer than any shirt, kitchen appliance or electronic gadget du jour. For our younger crowd, there will still be wish lists for birthdays and Santa for a while to come.</p><p>My own brief time with Carolena has left me trying to live intentionally and in the moment, sometimes to the detriment of deadlines and a lawn in need of mowing. In my defense, just like you never step into the same river twice, there will never be another Lego vehicle exactly like the one I just built with Cooper and Erik or coloring book masterpiece completed with Analise.</p><p>On a smaller scale, several weeks ago our cat of more than 13 years developed some health problems and within the span of a week had to be euthanized. Since pets can't really speak for themselves, behavioral and health issues have to be confronted and addressed even when we know the outcome is likely to be prickly and inconvenient. Diabetic cat, anyone?</p><p>There really isn't an option to sit around just "believing" for a companion animal that depends on you, and I'm sure we all know someone who has racked up hefty veterinary bills for a family pet. Losing Zaboo was also bittersweet as she was one of the few remaining tangible connections to our time with Carolena. With Deacon and Zaboo both gone now, there are moments when our time as an idyllic family unit of Mom, Dad, Daughter, Dog and Cat feels like a dream. </p><p>If we are to live a life fully and with no regrets, every 24 hours is another opportunity to be a verb instead of just thinking about one. Believe you love your children, and do things to show them your love. Believe the world can be a better place, and do things to make it so. And while we're at it, let's drop any narrow-minded, outdated beliefs that we never plan to act upon. Even though it's almost certain that Gandhi didn't say it, "be the change you wish to see in the world" echoes these ideas. Somewhere, a rector is smiling.</p><p>Mark T. Petruzzi is enjoying the deep, philosophical conversations held every hour in "the office" while Analise has been potty-training. There's nothing quite like setting an alarm to help keep you focused in the moment.</p>