Traumatic Brain Injury and The Principle of Progress Not Perfection Part 2

In my experience, I reached a point in time when I realized that I could no longer do enough to be enough in the eyes of the taskmaster called perfectionism.

As I began to realize the impact that perfectionism had upon my life, I knew that I needed to make changes in my life. I knew that I needed to stop being around individuals, groups and even churches that / who echoed the expectations and demands of the taskmaster. I began to realize that I could no longer be around situations and individuals who would encourage me to keep picking at the wound (scab) that needed to heal. I began to realize that I need to take steps to grieve and move on beyond the impact that the taskmaster had upon my life.

To be able to grieve and move beyond the taskmaster’s impact I found that I needed to keep the focus upon myself. In my process, I found that I needed to avoid blaming anyone for anything – as I discovered that doing so helped no one including myself. In my experience I discovered that I needed to examine why I felt the need to satisfy the dictates and the demands of the taskmaster. Though my process, I discovered that I could not move through the grieving process on my own and that I needed the help of a loving God, a mentor and trusted friends – to guide me through the process.

In my experience, I found that I needed to work a plan that would help me to identify what kept me under the tutelage of the taskmaster. In my experience, I found that I needed to a plan to guide me through my grieving process. In my experience, I found that the 12 steps – as used by many recovery programs – proved to be extremely helpful in the identification and grieving process. Several years ago I wrote an article called, Second Chance to Live and the Action Steps. Within that article I share the steps that have proved to be helpful in my grieving and healing process. I would encourage you to visit and read my article by clicking on the link: Second Chance to Live and Action Steps.

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Comments

Craig, I have been reading your blog for quite some time now and this is, by far, the most profound article yet. I realize now that, before the brain tumor/surgery/stroke and recovery I was enslaved by this very taskmaster. After 31 days in a medically induced coma and 45 days in the hospital, I was unable to walk, tie my shoes, or even catch a ball! My recovery has been called a ‘medical miracle’ but above all, I have learned to ACCEPT my limitations and learned to say “I CAN’T”,,,,but I find myself searching for alternative means of succeeding. Have I lowered my standards or just re-focused? I like to believe that it is a matter of re-focus!

Hi Rosalinda,
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write to me and for what you shared in your email. I am proud of you and I like your perspective “re-focus”. I completely agree with you. Re-focusing on what we can do — in ways that work for us — not on what other people may think we should be able to do. I, like you, believe that pursuing perfection is absurd, a no win pursuit. A crazy making endeavor indeed. On the other hand, like you, I have found that I can pursue excellence instead. I can re-focus my pursuits in ways that will create a win-win outcome for all parties involved my friend. We can pursue our destinies through using our gifts, talents and abilities in ways that work for us — for people who want what we have to give — and that is hope. That is what I believe a loving God intended for us. In the process, we are empowered and we empower the lives that a loving God brings into our lives. Thank you for being one of those individuals, for you empower my life Rosalinda!!!

I am proud of you my friend. You are a champion in my book. You are a emissary of hope. May a loving God continue to enrich you and fulfill your being. You are a gift to your world — the people who God brings across your path — as He has used you to bless my life.Thank you Rosalinda!

Please do stay in touch with me. Thank you my friend.

Have a pleasant and rewarding day and God bless both you and your family Rosalinda.