Any military wives ttc?ny military wives ttc?

DH and I have been ttc for nearly 2 years now, I’m 32. Had all the tests done at the Lister clinic (blood tests, HSG etc), all fine (in fact my tubes are apparently “textbook perfect” and DH has above average sperm).

DH is in the military and we only see each other for a couple of weekends a month. It’s so frustrating as we have no control over when we can DTT and I can’t tell you how many months have gone by where I have watched my fertile window come and go and he has just completely missed it!

That being said, we have DEFINITELY hit it a few times, I reckon probably 5 times for sure, and still nothing. Before we started TTC I think I was kidding myself that we probably DTT about once a fortnight so chances were still fairly high, but since I’ve started tracking it properly, I’ve realised it’s actually more like once a month if you consider that one of our two weekends a month will be an AF weekend...

Anyone else been through this? On the one hand I keep telling myself it’s because we’re not DTT enough or at the right times, but other times I think gosh it’s been 2 years it should have happened by now! I don’t know what to believe.

It’s so hard as I’ve started to make him feel bad about being away when I know rationally he has no control over that (plus I’d like to add I have never complained about it before and he’s been in for over 8 years!) The frustration is turning me into a crazy person!

We're not at this point yet but rapidly approaching TTC. He's stationed close to home so this isn't a concern for us, must be really tough and frustrating.

Where's he based? DH was in a single man room up until we moved in together shortly before we got married. I stayed every most weekends, no bother, but I understand welfare can also get involved and sort accomodation for visiting spouses. Could you feasibly travel to him the weekends when you're in your fertile period? If you're tracking you should be able to plan it reasonably accurately. Although it is the army, they're way less organised and reliable than most menstrual cycles I find.

From our acquaintance's experiences the trigger point for welfare involvement seems to be quite low. If you're now at the point where medical investigations have been done it might be worth asking your DH to consider having a word, even if it is only with a view to providing accomodation like I said above.

Sorry I can’t offer a success story but maybe empathise. We have been TTC for 18 cycles but in terms of months more like 2.4 years due to deployments. DH is military and it’s hard work when they are away or on duty for fertile week. Is there a week to see each other during the week or is it just too far?

FWIW we have started fertility investigations and the military have been amazingly supportive and we found out they will fund 2 rounds of IVF if it comes to that. If you do go down the treatment route normally they are stood down from duty and deployment so at least you wouldn’t have to try and fit it found that!