Sunday, January 22, 2012

Bad Words: 140 Alternative Ways to Cuss Politely

I was raised by parents who didn't believe in saying dirty-words. I think I heard my dad say "damn" once or twice in my entire life, but he usually emphasized his point with "shoot," "Dang-it," or "Darn-it!" When he was mad, he was "ticked" or "chapped" and when he hammered his thumb with one of his tools (which was often) he would shout, "son-of-a-biscuit-eater!" We didn't use Jesus or God's name in vain, we said "jeez" and "gosh." And if we had 'acceptable' family cuss words they were, "crap" and "ca-ca." In fact, I hadn't realized potty-talk was so controversial until I was an adult and one of the parents of a child I was sitting requested I not use it in front of their kid (never-mind that she and her husband practiced prolific profanity on a daily basis).

I suppose curse words are culturally and morally relative and vary in potency from person to person. For instance, I was never allowed to say the alternate word for urine. And as much as I hear my Christian friends use the "p" word in their daily vocabulary, I still cant bring myself to say it. I was taught that it takes more intellect to be creative and not use profanity, that even mentally-challenged people know how to cuss.But since I've grown-up, I've realized some situations necessitate the power that swear-words evoke--when used sparingly and in the right context, of course. I think my parents understood this need as well and perhaps that is why they allowed us to use curse-word euphemisms.

Now that I'm a mom, I also afford my children the same liberty. So I was inspired to create a list of substitute cuss words, primarily to show that it is possible not to swear when circumstance, company, and social setting do not permit it. The following list is not exhaustive and neither do I allow my kids to use all the terms itemized here (I still wince if the fake-word sounds too much like the real one). That said, I must confess (but don't tell my mom) I do have a couple secret knee-jerk expletives in my back pocket. I don't know why they fall out of my mouth when I hurt myself or am startled but they just do, dammit.

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Me again lolI hope I get this across enough for you to know what I am saying lolYou know that cartoon with "mutly" He always said, "Sassin' frassin ressim rack"...now thats what I think it says. However, lol I googled it and this is what "they" say,Rashin' fashin' Rick Rastardly

Thank you so much for this. I want to promote my second novel in the Christian market and am having a hard time creating a Chicago police detective without reverting to bad language. Hopefully, this will help.

Thank you for this list this should make my book much more colorful. Saying *amn all the time losses its punch after a time. And I don't want to use anything too offensive, feelings matter with readers too!

Well, me and my siblings call each other 'pumpkins' instead of...less polite things."Stop being such a pumpkin!""You're a pumpkinhead!" You know, stuff like that. I use OMGosh all the time, as well as Oh my stars! and a more creative one I came up with: What the WHO?! I made that one after hearing some Doctor Who joke, I think. And after I started actually watching Doctor Who, Tardis has unintentionally become a swear word.

A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it. See the link below for more info.

Arse literally means anus. In Britain nobody says Ass, everyone says Arse. It means the exact same, using Arse instead of Ass is pointless since both mean exactly the same thing and are always used the exact same way in both countries.

Some of these substitutes are as bad as the real thing. What I realized reading this great list and comments, sometimes just being creative is as good or better than trying to just substitute a swear word.

I know Christian folks for whom many of these substitute cuss words are no-nos because they sound like the real cuss words they are replacing or they are just stand-ins for the forbidden word. Golly and gosh start with G-O and so does God. Cheese and rice (a personal favorite) of course, sounds like Jesus Christ. Effin, flippin', etc. are obvious substitutions for well--you know. Bites, blows, sucks refer to a certain part of a certain gender's anatomy. Some of these people use "stinking" as their go-to cuss word. Something to keep in mind when submitting to Christian agents and publishers.

I'm a girl he is trying to lower my cussing like I love to use "dadgum it " and "flipping flapjacks" I like using smart allic those are my favorites here are some I have a heard a good friend say Truffle muffleDrag racerMonster funderRipple stippleFudgy bananaDusty apple

you could use adjectives too... to describe harshly rather than cussAlso, you might find that adjectives could just totally puzzle them and you watch them pull out their phone trying to find out "Seriously! What Does This Actually Mean!" as my friend puts it.

Many of your "passable" words are too close to vulgarity, especially for kids. If one of my kids said "effin", they'd be biting a bar of soap! I've heard many kids use "freaking". be-otch and the like. They sound disrespectful and uneducated.

If you're writing for the Christian market, check the guidelines very carefully. I know at one time they wouldn't let you write anything that someone might be offended by so even the indication was frowned upon. This might have changed but check the guidelines to be sure. :)

The genre was so restrictive for me I couldn't write anything the year I tried. Read books by the publishers you're submitting to as with any area of writing.

I learn to say name of a wrestler like Jonh Cena instead of Jesus Christ or god name in vains I love to say shut the foul up you monster go block yourself buddhist son of a hound adios mister fillmore I dont give a yuck and gawd freaking darn it are the nice ones

are we lying to ourselves when using some other words instead of what our intention is? obviously the fact that we use polite meaningless phrases doesn't change the situation and meaning of what we mean. so I believe we whether don't use the words or otherwise we are just promoting lying and covering up for bad things!