The Relationship Ain’t Real Until It’s Gone Through Four Seasons

All relationships start off good, make your stomach dance like butterflies, and you talk to each other with sugar-coated tongues. But as the weeks continue and you begin to learn each other’s habits and personal customs, things begin to crystallize and become more clearer as to the type of person you’re really with.

That’s why I’m a huge believer that every relationship should go through four entire seasons before committing to long-term plans (i.e. marriage, engagement, shacking-up etc). Just like the weather, trees, flowers, and the topography change in each season, I strongly believe that each person’s mood and behavior changes in each season as well.

You may not notice it or agree with me, but at 46, I’m a helliva lot wiser and more aware in recent years, especially after my divorce. For instance, in the winter time, I’m more inclined to be moodier or stay in the house because the snow or cold weather is stifling and hinders my gym visits. Plus, I hate being cold and bundling up in all those darn layers of clothing. So my boyfriend would need to aware of my seasonal mood and plan our winter activities accordingly. In addition, let’s say if you are a tax accountant or work in a field dealing with company financials, then winter/spring will be intense months for you because of the high demand and stress of that seasonal responsibility. Your mate would need to understand that and cater more to helping out or making your life a little easier during those months with errands, dry cleaners, cooking, laundry, sex etc….

Now, on the other hand, if you’re with someone that has a high stress level and moodiness all the time no matter what the season, then you, my friend, have to work a lot harder to decipher the qualities you like most about that person. LOL!

Once you’ve observed your mate for four seasons and think about the impact each season had on them directly, on you, and the relationship; it makes deciding which qualities are negotiable or non-negotiable for you to live with before the next four seasons begin.

During this time, it’s also easier to really think with your head and not your heart, if you aren’t so darn “thirsty” wanting to fall in love. Because the minute, you fall in love with somebody, you are more susceptible to think with your heart and not your head which is sooooo dangerous because your decision-making and discernment becomes foggy as hell since you so “in love.” As a result, the things that should have been non-negotiable, using your head, begin to be more negotiable, using your heart. #Whimp

So be excited about the relationship. Understand each other’s needs. Be aware of the seasonal behavior. Esteem and assist where you can. But don’t be no fool, cut your losses….before the ball drops at Time Square, before Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, before the Easter bunny drops those eggs; before the fireworks blast off, before the witch rings your bell begging, or before Santa eats your milk and cookies. No matter when the season, just do it before it’s too late.

I am DanaSimone, and I’m talking you Off The Ledge, because keeping it real has no safety net.