71

61

70.0

69.0

70.2

.531

.551

2.8%

16.6%

19.4%

-8.0%

-13.8%

How many hits does it take to get to the center of a shattered dugout Gatorade jug? Joe Smith knows.

2

68

64

67.6

65.6

65.8

.506

.486

0.5%

2.3%

2.8%

-5.0%

-4.9%

Disney is putting together a ride based on reliever Heath Bell. It's a normal rollercoaster except every fourth time you get on you are clubbed with a bat until someone pulls you off.

3

70

61

69.4

67.0

68.2

.524

.544

0.6%

8.2%

8.8%

-3.8%

-7.4%

The Orioles are 28-16 when Chris Davis homers, but 42-45 when he doesn't, proving definitively that, more times than not, Davis lets his team down.

4

70

63

65.8

58.9

60.2

.479

.499

0.1%

3.6%

3.8%

-3.3%

-4.8%

MLB.com on Chris Stewartís day: ďJ. P. Arencibia called out on strikes. Passed ball by catcher Chris Stewart. Arencibia advances to 1st. Throwing error by catcher Chris Stewart. Brett Lawrie scores. Rajai Davis scores.Ē He also went 0-for-3. Some days are bad and other days murder those days with a pitchfork and eye droppers of battery acid.

5

77

56

82.8

89.5

88.7

.635

.654

97.1%

1.6%

98.7%

-0.5%

-0.3%

Good news: Jeremy Bonderman threw 1 2/3 innings, giving up just one hit and striking out two. Bad news: the Tigers were down by 10 runs at the time. Good news: Detroit is still up 5 Ĺ games on Cleveland. Bad news: Scrubs: Interns was horrible.

6

78

55

82.0

78.2

77.3

.593

.574

53.3%

46.0%

99.3%

-0.3%

1.6%

Sure they got mercy-ruled by the Reds, but after a pep talk from the coach, everyone went out for pizza buffet.

7

80

52

80.8

80.3

77.7

.604

.584

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

-0.0%

-0.0%

Craig Kimbrel's ERA is 0.99, or 1.06 with tax.

8

68

64

70.2

63.5

64.5

.504

.524

0.1%

0.8%

0.8%

-0.0%

-0.7%

A comment about the Royals' postseason chances: The Royals postseason chances are about the same as you laughing at this comment about the Royals having postseason chances.

9

59

74

56.9

61.3

62.3

.450

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

I lied. The Mets, though utterly uninteresting, are more interesting than the Giants, so, Mets comment: Not content to upset their fans by merely signing Daisuke Matsuzaka, the Mets have decided to test their loyalty by pitching Daisuke Matsuzaka. Check please!

10

59

72

60.8

59.6

59.1

.455

.435

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Mariners pitching prospect Taijuan Walker will start in Houston on Friday. That this is here tells you everything you need to know about the Mets.

11

44

88

47.7

42.6

45.0

.340

.358

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Chris Carter has 179 strikeouts in 477 plate appearances. Mark Reynolds holds the record at 223 in a season. If Carter gets four at-bats in each remaining Astros game, heíll strike out 45 more times which would give him... [drum roll] 224.

12

61

72

55.2

55.1

57.0

.429

.410

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If you turn the syllables in ĎCole Hamelsí around you get Melís Cole Ham which is funnier though less effective against lefties.

13

60

73

57.2

58.7

59.0

.442

.422

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I am just barely older than Mark Kotsay, but I will never be as old as Mark Kotsay is right now in baseball years.

14

59

73

54.5

58.4

58.3

.436

.456

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

How good is Felix Hernandez? He just gave up nine runs in three innings, striking out two while giving up 11 hits. He still has an ERA under 3.00.

15

60

74

61.5

59.8

61.9

.454

.474

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Todd Redmond won for the first time since July 7, 427 AD when Red Mondís army invaded the British Isles. Mond threw 12 innings of two run ball striking out six and beheading 13. It was a different game back then.

16

57

74

55.8

57.5

58.1

.436

.456

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Josh Willingham has been hit a league-leading 14 times because in between pitches he changes into his angry, bitter alter-ego Tony Cliftoningham.

17

58

74

59.3

62.3

63.5

.460

.441

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

put as much eeffort into this comment as milwuakee put into last nights gmae.

18

49

82

52.1

48.0

48.7

.378

.359

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Jeffrey Loria heard two things about last night: 1) there was a rain delay and 2) the Marlins lost. The Marlins will now travel with their own removable stadium roof because taxpayers donít pay players salaries.

19

56

76

58.8

58.8

58.0

.439

.458

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Quick quiz: Which is greater, the total homers Adam Dunn has hit this season or Dunnís triples times 30? (Hint: or times a billion)

20

63

72

66.0

65.9

62.5

.477

.457

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Jhoulys Chacin didnít give up his first hit until the seventh inning, whereupon he was taken out and the Rockies bullpen didnít not give up hits for the rest of the game.

21

56

77

60.2

62.7

63.2

.455

.435

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I'm turning my house and all my worldly possessions into quarters so I can spend the winter continually calling the Cubs offices from the pay phone under the bridge begging them to trade Edwin Jackson. "Hello, Cubs. [heavy breathing] The chain must not be broken! Twenty-two other teams must possess... [clap of thunder] the Jackson!"

22

59

72

62.0

65.0

63.9

.477

.497

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Angels may have great hair, but theyíre head and shoulders under .500.

23

78

55

73.4

76.1

74.1

.567

.547

99.5%

0.1%

99.6%

0.2%

0.2%

In his last two starts, Clayton Kershaw has thrown 16 innings and given up five hits, no runs, and one walk while striking out 17. Oh, did I say Kershaw? I meant Ricky Nolasco.

24

67

65

63.9

64.5

64.1

.492

.472

0.0%

4.1%

4.1%

0.8%

2.9%

Stephen Strasburg lasted only two innings because of an extensive rain delay, adding extensive rain delays to the growing list of things that can stop Stephen Strasburg.

25

77

55

72.6

73.3

74.2

.563

.543

32.4%

66.3%

98.7%

0.9%

0.3%

Happy story of the day: in just his fourth at-bat with his new team, you know who homered? Steroid cheat Marlon Byrd! Congratulations to him!

26

79

55

80.7

79.8

79.1

.594

.614

76.9%

21.1%

98.0%

1.4%

5.1%

Up comes 20-year-old phenom Xander Bogaerts in a key situation... and the Red Sox are pinch-hitting for him? Wait! Youíre not supposed to pinch-hit for 20-year-old phenoms! They're supposed to homer in slow-mo while the music plays. CUT!

27

78

55

76.0

75.2

74.1

.570

.590

75.9%

20.9%

96.8%

2.0%

4.4%

Adrian Beltre hit his 28th homer. Know where that puts him in the AL? First! Well, not quite. Heís actually second. Except no. Heís third. Though not really. Heís fourth. Although he isnít. Heís fifth. But no. Heís tied for sixth! Heck of a season though.

28

75

59

77.4

77.5

77.7

.574

.554

14.3%

81.2%

95.4%

3.4%

-0.1%

Jay Bruce is good at hitting homers and slightly better than bad at everything else.

29

75

56

71.4

77.8

78.0

.577

.596

22.4%

67.1%

89.5%

4.6%

0.6%

After recording his 31st save of the season, Fernando Rodney began his new post-save ritual: copying the full text of War and Peace in calligraphy on parchment.

30

75

57

73.8

73.4

71.4

.556

.576

24.1%

60.1%

84.2%

7.6%

17.1%

Jed Lowrie is five doubles behind Manny Machadoís league leading 44, and in 51 fewer plate appearances.