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Thursday, 1 September 2016

My Mother-Inlaw Gives Me Hell, How Do I Make Her Love Me?

My
mother-inlaw isn’t given me any joy at all, if not that she's my husband’s mother;
heaven knows I wouldn’t be this nice to her, but what do I do? My husband seems
oblivious of the fact that she’s making me hypertensive, nothing I do impresses
her, she waits for my husband to go to work and then she unleashes hell on me.

She’s
always claimed I never loved her son, I married him for his money, she’s gone
as far as carrying out DNA tests on my kids without my knowledge, when I found
out I was mad but my husband said he did it just to please her.

Sometimes
when I cook she complains all through the meal, saying it’s very tasteless and
she doesn’t know what my husband saw in me. I even named one of our kids after
her just to please her, she said it’s the ugly one amongst them I named after
her, so I’m telling her indirectly that she’s ugly.

Everyday
my life is a hell, she lives with us, I can’t tell my husband to let her go
stay with his other siblings because he would have none of it, he’s her
favorite. My life has been hell for years, I dare not buy new clothes she will
conclude I have financially ruined her son, when he bought me a car she didn’t rest
until I begged my husband to get her another car, she has 2 already.

How
do I make this woman love me, she’s been this way with me for five years, how
do I convince her I love her and her son, my mum says give her time but its
five frigging years, my husband says I should be patient with her but he doesn’t
know the shouting bout that goes on each time he leaves the house.

Honestly
I am tired, I love my husband dearly, he was my first and we dated for a while,
but the mum has never liked me from the onset, I thought it would change after
marriage but it got worse.

Please
what do I do?

Talk2Bella.

Hmmm,
your story is very touching as it hit home for me, my own mother went through
hell with my father’s people, not just the mother but the hole siblings, her
and my father had to be separated for eleven years before they got back
together.

I
know firsthand what you’re going through cos I watched how my parent’s marriage
crashed because of this “Mother-inlaw syndrome”. I can promise you shouting
with her won’t solve your problems; neither will keeping malice with her.

The
secret to this type of people is unconditioned lover and less worry on your
part, when she shouts at you, ignore don’t say a word, let her words fall on
you like when you pour water on a stone, it doesn’t penetrate it just washes
over, be extremely nice to her, treat her with the same love you have for your
mother.

For
five years you have been exchanging words with her, as from now henceforth don’t,
when she says something hurtful, smile at her and tell her Jesus loves her,
when she gets physical surrender yourself, don’t give her an excuse to escalate
things.

If
you’re close to any of your husband’s siblings talk to them also, lay your
worries at their feet, but don’t say it in a hateful way, say it in a way it
would seem you’re worried about your mother-inlaw, when she complains about
your food ask her what you can do to improve your cooking.

Trust
me, with prayers and love all things are possible, don’t complain to your
husband anymore, he’s a momma’s boy he’d definitely keep supporting the mother,
just lover both of them equally and unconditionally, since you didn’t mention
your father inlaw I will assume he’s no more in the picture, so your husband is
her own husband right now.

Love
is all we need in this world, shower your mother-inlaw with so much love that
she’d probably choke on it and breaks down one day to tell you why she’s never
loved you.