I have been MIA for a long time now. You could say it is because I am lazy, which I am, but the much bigger issue is that I have depression. In what I used to consider my normal life, I could keep my depression under control by keeping myself busy, especially dancing or working in my garden. Small goals and small accomplishments would keep me going through tougher times. I kept moving and I was okay. When I

I am not a big fan of Black Friday. I don’t like crowds and shopping as a sport isn’t really my thing. Plus, getting up early for fun makes no sense to me. Why would I want to waste a day off by getting out of bed one minute early than my bladder demands? The only Black Friday sales I go to are at the local game shop (which doesn’t open until 10 a.m.), and a nursery, which runs their

I have been away from the blog for a bit, first taking care of some family stuff (teens live complicated, labor intensive lives) and then taking an anniversary trip. We’ve never had one of those before, and this was a pretty big occasion, so we saved up for something fancy. Which is also something we haven’t really done before. Our honeymoon wasn’t especially lavish, because we were broke students. That didn’t change until well after we had children. So

Stories about Sex My childhood was full of talk about sex. My mother, who had rebelled against the sexual silence of the 1950’s and ’60’s, kept few secrets. I heard lots of stories that, as a twelve-year-old, I really didn’t want to hear. Mostly about bad sex. These weren’t stories designed to frighten me. No one was trying to scare me into a “virtuous” life. These were just the stories of people who’s lives had been full of not-so-good and

The Jimmyjane Form 5 is not a widely loved toy. And for some pretty good reasons, but the biggest two are: It is expensive It is not easy for many (probably most) people to use it to stimulate themselves to orgasm But I have a confession to make. I really like this thing. Don’t get me wrong, if I had to choose between the Jimmyjane Form 5 and my beloved We-Vibe Tango, I would fling the Form 5 out the window

I have a crackpot theory about lube, especially as it relates to menopause. Maybe you remember hearing about studies that suggest smiling can actually make you happy. Not just act happier, but actually feel happier. There was a Welsh study that suggested that people who lost the ability to frown effectively (the study involved Botox injections) were happier than people who could make properly grumpy expressions. While not great news for those of us who pride ourselves on intimidating scowls,

Lubricants are used to reduce friction. Personal lubricants, usually shortened to “lube,” are used to reduce friction in sexual activities. Reducing friction can ease penetration, prevent uncomfortable chapping, and generally make everything wetter and more comfortable. Vaginas (unlike anuses) are generally considered self-lubricating, but that isn’t true for everyone all the time. There are many women who do not produce very much natural lubrication, for whatever reason. The hormonal shifts associated with menopause are pretty common cause, though. So, if

Foria Pleasure is a pretty simple product concept. It is coconut oil infused with cannabis oil, sold as a “female pleasure enhancer.” Since so many women in perimenopause (and postmenopause) have difficulty with arousal, dryness, and orgasm, Foria could be perfect for helping restore sexual pleasure. It is expensive — a 30 ml bottle costs from $75 – $90 depending on where you purchase it, and is currently only available in California and Colorado, though the company may eventually expand to

Readings in adult (and not adult) sex ed This wouldn’t be my site if it didn’t have a list of books that I adore. There will be more, longer reviews later, but here’s a short list of sex ed books to check out if you are looking for something to read offline (or on your kindle, if you want to keep the cover art to yourself). Links are to my affiliates, Good Vibrations (most image links) or Amazon (text

When I was younger, I thought that women’s lives divided neatly into three parts: too young to have a period, too old to have a period, and all the period time in the middle. Puberty was the beginning of the time of periods and menopause was its end. When adults talked about menopause, which they didn’t very often, perimenopause and postmenopause were never mentioned. When I was younger, most people also didn’t think much about women who don’t have periods

About me

I am a perimenopausal mother of teens, which means that I am constantly telling someone to do laundry, usually have something I'm considering plucking or shaving, and that I spend huge amounts of time talking and thinking about sex.

I plan to have a sexy midlife, and am scheming to make it happen, despite the fact that my body is more of a challenge than it used to be.