Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Ever go shopping and think, "Man, I wish I had a Swarovski-bejeweled mini bottle of champagne right now"? Well, Selfridges is answering the call with a Moët & Chandon vending machine. You can now enjoy your holiday shopping just a wee bit more at $30 a pop.

DC. Maybe it was all the black folks or maybe it was just the fried chicken, but something felt strangely like Atlanta...Not quite Atlanta, Atlanta but, like a version of Atlanta with just a bit more hustle and bustle. I remember feeling like an outsider when I first got to Howard. This is where the spirit of "Successfully Lost" was born. I remember thinking, "Damn, these kids actually wanna grow up to be lawyers?" Wait, how did MY RAPPING A** get here? Like, did I actually volunteer for this sh*t? Did I seriously think law school would be a good way to pass the time? WTF, Gilles? Ahhh, I remember now: can't just tell mom and pops, "Hey thanks for all that Emory money but, I think I'm gonna not get a job and be a rapper." Nah, bruh. You gon' need a plan. Welp, I guess if I become a lawyer, at least I can finance this rap sh*t, right? Now, let's get back to these dreams for a sec. I started writing "Road Trip" as sort of an audio year book to capture some of my memories at HUSL (#HowardUniversitySchoolofLaw4youlames) In my reflective state, it would appear I had a lot on my chest. Here go the Cliff Notes, though:

"We watched them hoes hit the pole (poll) like a survey." => y'all remember when we went to that BYOB strip club in Maryland? Yeah, the one that doubled as a car repair shop...A memorable experience, nonetheless, lol. cc: @trusparta@williamtjolley@born_success

"I'm a socialite, me and my roomie everywhere, yeah, sho' ya right." => Whew. When I say every function, I mean EVERY FUNCTION, lol. Mondays at Fly, Tuesdays at Policy, Wednesdays at Josephine, Thursdays at Park, Dental school house parties, Med school date auctions...we might've even showed up at some School of Divinity Bible studies. We were just some social brothers. cc: @borntroublesome

"I never wanted to be a lawyer. Ma, I don't mean to worry ya...And dad, I'm sorry for ya, your son is still a warrior, just not salutatorian..." => Yep.

"I spent 7 years of school to get my focus right." => It cost me TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS just to figure out who I wanted to be in life. My thoughts? Even with all this college debt, still f*ckin' worth it.

Anxiety. Being "in motion" can make the surest people unsure. Reflecting on where I came from and what I've seen on the road to where I'm going had my head spinning. So many words...Just thinking about who we've lost and why, what we've gained and how we've changed was a bit much. Yet and still the finish line was ever so close. Lord, just let me endure:

"This can't be life, got a couple girls wrapped around the pinkie twice...and it's sad 'cause they can't be wife." ===> This used to be a stat for me, an asset, even. I used to play on her (their) love for me...I would leverage those feelings to get what I want when I wanted it. But, at the end of the day, being manipulative is and will always be some wack sh*t. Not too proud of who I was then.

"And when the rest was fronting, I lived next to where the trap was bunkin'." ===> I remember this clear as day. We thought we were moving on up in the world. My mom bought that townhouse @ 2590 Picardy Cir. N in College Park, right off Burdett Rd. and you couldn't tell us anything. We had a lawn! Thennnnn, we had neighbors. It happened so fast. Newlyweds from South Carolina moved in...6 months later, the (very) pregnant wife was moving out. The husband stayed behind because he developed a new source of income. I suspect this new source was also the reason for his wife's departure...our's too.

"Weekend past heard, "the world lost a great man." Every time I wake up, I'm at another wake, damn." => Seemed like all at once, people were dying. Life was catching up with some and maybe getting ahead of others. R.I.P. to those family friends, colleagues, aunts, uncles...hell, even the celebrities. They say death is a part of life but, no matter how much we prepare we're never truly ready to say goodbye. Sorry for the bummer y'all. Just some real sh*t.

So, here I am thinking "Successfully Lost" was a wrap, thinking I had every song for my debut project. Then, @713street decides to send me something he was working on in the middle of my work day, COMPLETELY f*ckin' my whole sh*t up. The hook was so infectious...I just got a feeling, an irresistible urge even. The rapper was speaking a lil' bit louder than the lawyer. Luckily, my boss,@chelleesq didn't notice I took a little rap break but I had to get these verses out. It was so me. So unequivocally and authentically me. Thank God:

"Thank God I'm me." => My gifts, my struggles, my faith: I wouldn't trade my experience for the world, not because it is better than any other but, because it is mine. I can't help but feel we were all built for something and every now and then, when I'm lucky enough to notice, I get a glimpse further into my purpose.

"I don't know why I can't give her what she want but I love saying no to dames (Notre Dame(s)) like a hunch back." => Sometimes, it's fun to be difficult, lol.

"We just look a lil' different than y'all." => Well, clearly you follow me on IG so I'll just go out on a limb and say it's pretty easy for you to see that I look more "rapper" than most lawyers you know whilst somehow still looking more "lawyer" than most rappers you know. Crazy thing about it is my potnas are stand out guys too. We ain't everybody.

Apparently, you can't just write a song called "Catfish Pimpin'" and expect that women will somehow see your romantic side, lol. The mission was clear: I wanted to speak to women, being intimate in a way without being overtly sexual. I wanted to tap into those moments, when it's just you and her, even in a room full of people. "Alone Tonight" was born from those nights when you say everything right, when you do everything right, when she wears that perfect dress and your cologne smells a bit sweeter to her. That's where the magic happens. And, if I do say so myself, this explanation is rather appropriate given the current time of year. I believe you kids call it, "Cuffin' Season." Enjoy:

"Statuesque when you're at your best but, I'm monumental I can't ask for less...and you got that you match my wits, a lil' junk in the trunk yeah, you match my whip." => 1. Here I go again, liking tall girls (in heels too). But, what do you expect? Gotta get these kids to the league, lol. 2. Brains MUST match the beauty. I need her to be funny, endearing, cultured and all that other sh*t too. Oh yeah, and with a...um, "nice" errrr...well, uhhh "backfield."

Disappointment. I don't know when this feeling began to consume my lovelife but, there it went...Sure, remaining "active" was never a problem but, what about a conversation? That's where her shortcomings persisted. Was it too much for her to read HuffPost, love a couple Spike Lee joints AND have a favorite "A Tribe Called Quest" album??? Yet and still I continued. The younger me had to keep busy. Sometimes the older me does too. Feel me, though:

"But I don't take her out she don't impress me in the least." => Time and money are both finite resources. I'm vigilant with how I spend my sh*t.

"A box of condoms is lots of problems, 'cause each one ask why you got so many and who is that you use 'em on?" => My desire to stay protected at all times has placed me in more than a few uncomfortable conversations.

"Settling I never been." => I have no problem searching for Ms. Right. In the immortal words of local street philosopher and poet, Future, "I'm looking for her."