Do you really want to read blocks of text breaking down each pick for you? Of course not, you want something short and sweet. Which is why I give you my first round analysis, presented in the form of animated gifs. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.

1. Indianapolis Colts - Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford

2. Washington Redskins - Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor

3. Cleveland Browns - Trent Richardson, RB, Alabama

4. Minnesota Vikings - Matt Kalil, OT, USC

5. Jacksonville Jaguars - Justin Blackmon, WR, Oklahoma State

6. Dallas Cowboys - Morris Claiborne, CB, LSU

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Mark Barron, S, Albama

8. Miami Dolphins - Ryan Tannehill, QB, Texas A&M

9. Carolina Panthers - Luke Kuechley, LB, Boston College

10. Buffalo Bills - Stephon Gilmore, CB, South Carolina

11. Kansas City Chiefs - Dontari Poe, DT, Memphis

12. Philadelphia Eagles - Fletcher Cox, DT, Mississippi State

13. Arizona Cardinals - Michael Floyd, WR, Notre Dame

14. St. Louis Rams - Michael Brockers, DT, LSU

15. Seattle Seahawks - Bruce Irvin, DE/OLB, West Virginia

16. New York Jets - Quinton Coples, DE, North Carolina

17. Cincinnati Bengals - Dre Kirkpatrick, CB, Alabama

18. San Diego Chargers - Melvin Ingram, DE/OLB, South Carolina

19. Chicago Bears - Shea McClellin, DE, Boise State

20. Tennessee Titans - Kendall Wright, WR, Baylor

21. New England Patriots - Chandler Jones, DE/OLB, Syracuse

22. Cleveland Browns - Brandon Weeden, QB, Oklahoma State

23. Detroit Lions - Riley Reiff, OT, Iowa

24. Pittsburgh Steelers - David DeCastro, OG, Stanford

25. New England Patriots - Dont'a Hightower, DE/ILB/OLB, Alabama

26. Houston Texans - Whitney Mercilus, DE/OLB, Illinois

27. Cincinnati Bengals - Kevin Zeitler, OG, Wisconsin

28. Green Bay Packers - Nick Perry, DE/OLB, USC

29. Minnesota Vikings - Harrison Smith, S, Notre Dame

30. San Francisco 49ers - A.J. Jenkins, WR, Illinois

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Doug Martin, RB, Boise State

32. New York Giants - David Wilson, RB, Virginia Tech

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Round 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold

33. St. Louis Rams - Brian Quick, WR, Appalachian State

34. Indianapolis Colts - Coby Fleener, TE, Stanford

35. Baltimore Ravens - Courtney Upshaw, DE/OLB, Alabama

36. Denver Broncos - Derek Wolfe, DT, Cincinnati

37. Cleveland Browns - Mitchell Schwartz, OT, California

38. Jacksonville Jaguars - Andre Branch, DE, Clemson

39. St. Louis Rams - Janoris Jenkins, CB, Northern Alabama

40. Carolina Panthers - Amini Silatolu, OG, Midwestern State

41. Buffalo Bills - Cordy Glenn, OG/OT, Georgia

42. Miami Dolphins - Jonathan Martin, OT, Stanford

43. New York Jets - Stephen Hill, WR, Georgia Tech

44. Kansas City Chiefs - Jeff Allen, OG/OT, Illinois

45. Chicago Bears - Alshon Jeffery, WR, South Carolina

46. Philadelphia Eagles - Mychal Kendricks, ILB, California

47. Seattle Seahawks - Bobby Wagner, LB, Utah State

48. New England Patriots - Tavon Wilson, DB, Illinois

49. San Diego Chargers - Kendall Reyes, DT/DE, Connecticut

50. St. Louis Rams - Isaiah Pead, RB, Cincinnati

51. Green Bay Packers - Jerel Worthy, DT/DE, Michigan State

52. Tennessee Titans - Zach Brown, LB, North Carolina

53. Cincinnati Bengals - Devon Still, DT, Penn State

54. Detroit Lions - Ryan Broyles, WR, Oklahoma

55. Atlanta Falcons - Peter Konz, C/OG, Wisconsin

56. Pittsburgh Steelers - Mike Adams, OT, Ohio State

57. Denver Broncos - Brock Osweiler, QB, Arizona State

58. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Lavonte David, LB, Nebraska

59. New Orleans Saints - Nope

59. Philadelphia Eagles - Vinny Curry, DE, Marshall

60. Baltimore Ravens - Kelechi Osemele, OG, Iowa State

61. San Francisco 49ers - LaMichael James, RB, Oregon

62. Green Bay Packers - Casey Hayward, CB, Vanderbilt

63. New York Giants - Rueben Randle, WR, LSU

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Round 3: Beyond Thunderdome

64. Indianapolis Colts - Dwayne Allen, TE, Clemson

65. St. Louis Rams - Trumaine Johnson, DB, Montana

66. Minnesota Vikings - Josh Robinson, CB, UCF

67. Denver Broncos - Ronnie Hillman, RB, San Diego State

68. Houston Texans - DeVier Posey, WR, Ohio State

69. Buffalo Bills - T.J. Graham, WR, N.C. State

70. Jacksonville Jaguars - Bryan Anger, P, California

71. Washington Redskins - Josh LeRibeus, OG, SMU

72. Miami Dolphins - Olivier Vernon, DE, Miami

73. San Diego Chargers - Brandon Taylor, S, LSU

74. Kansas City Chiefs - Donald Stephenson, OT, Oklahoma

75. Seattle Seahawks - Russell Wilson, QB, Wisconsin

76. Houston Texans - Brandon Brooks, OG, Miami of Ohio

77. New York Jets - Demario Davis, LB, Arkansas State

78. Miami Dolphins - Michael Egnew, TE, Missouri

79. Chicago Bears - Brandon Hardin, S, Oregon State

80. Arizona Cardinals - Jamell Fleming, CB, Oklahoma

81. Dallas Cowboys - Tyrone Crawford, DE, Boise State

82. Tennessee Titans - Mike Martin, DT, Michigan

83. Cincinnati Bengals - Mohamed Sanu, WR, Rutgers

84. Baltimore Ravens - Bernard Pierce, RB, Temple

85. Detroit Lions - Dwight Bentley, CB, Louisiana-Lafayette

86. Pittsburgh Steelers - Sean Spence, LB, Miami

87. Cleveland Browns - John Hughes, DT, Cincinnati

88. Philadelphia Eagles - Nick Foles, QB, Arizona

89. New Orleans Saints - Akiem Hicks, DT, Regina

90. New England Patriots - Jake Bequette, DE, Arkansas

91. Atlanta Falcons - Lamar Holmes, OT, Southern Miss

92. Indianapolis Colts - T.Y. Hilton, WR, Florida International

93. Cincinnati Bengals - Brandon Thompson, DT, Clemson

94. New York Giants - Jayron Hosley, CB, Virginia Tech

95. Oakland Raiders - Tony Bergstrom, OG/OT, Utah

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Round 4: High Noon At Mega Mountain

98. Baltimore Ravens - Gino Gradkowski, G, Delawar

100. Cleveland Browns - Travis Benjamin, WR, Miami

102. Washington Redskins - Kirk Cousins, QB, Michigan State

107. Kansas City Chiefs - Devon Wylie, WR, Fresno State

115. Tennessee Titans - Coty Sensabaugh, CB, Clemson

122. New Orleans Saints - Nick Toon, WR, Wisconsin

133. Green Bay Packers - Jerron McMillian, S, Maine

135. Dallas Cowboys - Matt Johnson, S, Eastern Washington

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Round 5: Rave From The Grave

138. Detroit Lions - Tahir Whitehead, DE/OLB, Temple

145. Tennessee Titans - Taylor Thompson, DE/TE, SMU

149. San Diego Chargers - Johnnie Troutman, OG, Penn State

153. Philadelphia Eagles - Dennis Kelly, OT, Purdue

154. Seattle Seahawks - Korey Toomer, LB, Idaho

162. New Orleans Saints - Corey White, S, Samford

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Round 6: Back 2 Tha Hood

172. Seattle Seahawks - Jeremy Lane, CB, Northwestern State

181. Seattle Seahawks - Winston Guy, S, Kentucky

189. Oakland Raiders - Christo Bulukidi, DT, Georgia State

190. Tennessee Titans - Markelle Martin, S, Oklahoma State

197. New England Patriots - Nate Ebner, DB, Ohio State

199. San Francisco 49ers - Jason Slowey, C, Western Oregon

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Round 7: Mission To Moscow

209. St. Louis Rams - Aaron Brown, OLB, Hawaii

211. Tennessee Titans - Scott Solomon, DE, Rice

214. Indianapolis Colts - Tim Fugger, DE/OLB, Vanderbilt

224. New England Patriots - Alfonzo Dennard, CB, Nebraska

225. Seattle Seahawks - J.R. Sweezy, DT, N.C. State

228. Jacksonville Jaguars - Jeris Pendleton, DT, Ashland

229. Philadelphia Eagles - Bryce Brown, RB, Kansas State

232. Seattle Seahawks - Greg Scruggs, DT, Louisville

1 - 253. Nobody - Vontaze Burfict, LB, Arizona State

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

Freaking 9ers post is just still and a what the **** mode for me still. I want this draft round re done dang it. **** Balkee .

Easy there, spelling bee.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by 49erNation85

I wouldn't be sir prized if he passed McCoy on the depth chart. I think he might have a better arm and accurate arm then him from the highlights I thought. He also got some wheels too help us prepare for QB's as Wilson , RG3 and other runners etc.

Thanks for the praise guys. I'll do more for select picks over the rest of the weekend.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

I went with the shocked reaction from Signs because I honestly cannot believe they FINALLY got some protection for Stafford.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

I'm guessing the Steelers pic is from the point of view of someone who dislikes the Steelers, haha.

:D

Yes. I love DeCastro more than just about any other prospect in the draft and I really wanted the Titans to grab him. Skipping him only to have the Steelers grab him is just terrible.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

You realize you are required to do this for every single pick in the entire draft now right?

I probably have enough gifs for it but this seriously takes a long time to put together. I'll do ones for any picks the Titans make and any crazy reaches or outrageous selections.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

I can understand that. Awesome post and since you have wrestling GIFs everywhere, we should be friends.

I still have at least 6 wrestling gifs waiting to be used for the rest of the draft. I just need some oddball picks to happen.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.

Hermain Cain ran a primary campaign against Rick Perry, who is only one character off of Nick Perry. Thus the choice.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by phlysac

I heard that Sylvester Stallone wrote The Expendables with The Alex in mind. He had to keep it realistic though and split The Alex's abilities into multiple characters. Stallone thought that critics would pan it for being too far-fetched if he just had one character effing everyone up.