Women to 'chest drive' Bulgarian airbags

'Simulated breast prosthesis' - sport before you import

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Women considering going under the knife to boost their assets are being offered the chance to "chest drive"* implants before committing to surgery.

The Hospital Group explains that prior to popping in a pair of top-of-the-range Natrelle breast implants, its surgeons deploy the Biodynamics® Breast Analysis System, which involves an initial measure-up, followed by a "clever breast implant visualisation system" and finally "a specially designed vest, bra and a range of external 'simulated breast prosthesis'".

The prostheses are apparently a highly sophisticated kind of "chicken fillet", which allow customers to "literally see and feel the difference breast augmentation will make to your body shape".

Once they've fine-tuned their choice, women will be endowed with one of 500 different Natrelle implants, which come in "4 projections, 4 gel types" and, rather disturbingly, "smooth or textured surface". ®