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Nonny Pirrucello is an average bespectacled 11 year old boy who has lived with the Mitchell family ever since his parents died in a car crash. For some reason the family has always mistreated him. On his 11th birthday a giant man named Mr. Langoustine hands him a letter telling him that he has been accepted as a student at the Bubblewarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Nonny learns that his parents were wizards and were killed by an evil wizard Rotten Tomato, a truth that was hidden from him all these years. He embarks for his new life as a student, gathering two good friends Gil Gordon and Molly Gentilella along the way. They soon learn that something very valuable is hidden somewhere inside the school and Rotten Tomato is very anxious to lay his hands on it.

Hauntsworth: Gather 'round here. Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left. Girls, the same on your right. You'll find that your belongings have already been brought up.

(Scene: Boy's Dormitory)

(Nonny is sitting by a window in his pj's, with his owl, Hedwig. He pets the owl and looks out the window, sighing with content.)

(Scene: Stone Hall)

(Nonny and Gil are running through the stone halls to their class.)

(Scene: Transfiguration Class)

(They rush in. In the class, a tabby cat is sitting on a desk.)

Gil: Whew, amazing, can you imagine the look on old Mrs. Grouper's face if we were late?

(The cat jumps off the desk and turns into Mrs. Grouper. The two boys are amazed.)

Gil: That was bloody brilliant.

Mrs. Grouper: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Gordon. Maybe if I were to transfigure Mr. Pirruccello and yourself into a pocketwatch, maybe one of you would be on time.

Nonny: We got lost.

Mrs. Grouper: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.

(Scene: Potions Class)

(The students are chattering, sitting near steaming cauldrons. The door slams open and Mr. Grumpfish comes rushing in.)

Mr. Grumpfish: There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses.

(Mr. Grumpfish looks at Tobias, who smiles.)

Mr. Grumpfish: I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper in death.

(Tobias looks on and raises his eyebrows. Mr. Grumpfish sees Nonny, writing this down, in, his view, not paying attention.)

Mr. Grumpfish: Then again, maybe some of you have come to Bubblewarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not... pay... attention.

(Molly nudges Nonny in the ribs. He looks up.)

Mr. Grumpfish: Mr. Pirruccello. Our... new... celebrity. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?

(Molly's hand skyrockets. Nonny shrugs.)

Mr. Grumpfish: You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Pirruccello, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?

(Molly's hand shoots up again.)

Nonny: I don't know, Sir.

Mr. Grumpfish: And what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?

Nonny: Hey, Gil, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen, Believed to be the work of dark witches or wizards unknown, Gringotts crabs, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. That's odd. That's the vault Mr. Langoustine and I went to.

(Scene: Training Grounds)

(The students are at flying practice. The students, Gryffindor and Slytherin, are lined up in two rows with brooms by their sides. The teacher comes down the line. She has short hair and black eyes.)

Pilot: Good afternoon, class.

Class: Good afternoon, Madam Pilot.

Pilot: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon.

(The Pilot turns to the class.)

Pilot: Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say, Up!

Class: Up!

(Nonny's broom flies into his hand.)

Nonny: Whoa.

(Molly stares as the class continues.)

Tobias: Up!

(The broomstick flies up and Tobias smugly grins.)

Pilot: With feeling!

Molly: Up. Up. Up. Up.

Gil: Up!

(Gil's broom flies up and conks him on the nose.)

Gil: Ow!

(Nonny laughs.)

Gil: Shut up, Nonny.

(Gil laughs.)

Pilot: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't want to be sliding off the end.

(The class mounts.)

Pilot: When I blow my whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, and then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle... 3... 2...

(He soars through the sky and hits a wall, conking along it and then swooping off. All the while, he is screaming. He begins to zoom back towards the group of students. The Pilot holds out her wand to stop him.)

Goby: Help!

Pilot: Mr. Imani!

(Goby approaches. The students scatter and the Pilot dives out of the way. Goby goes through the scatter and up a tower.)

Goby: Ahhhh! Whoa! Ahhh!

(Goby past a statue of a man with a sharp spear. Goby's cloak catches on it. He is flipped off the broom and hangs there.)

Goby: Oh. Ah... help!

(He wavers, then the cloak rips, and he falls, catching on a torch, but then slipping out and falling to the ground.)

(Tobias reaches down and grabs Goby's Remembrall, which has fallen. The Pilot begins to lead Goby away with her.)

Pilot: Everyone's to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Imani to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Bubblewarts before they can say, Quidditch.

(The Pilot leaves. Tobias snickers.)

Tobias: Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass.

(Tobias laughs.)

Nonny: Give it here, Gordon.

Tobias: No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Imani to find.

(Tobias hops on his broom and soars around the group, then through.)

Tobias: How 'bout up on the roof?

(Tobias soars off and hovers high in the sky.)

Tobias: What's the matter, Pirruccello? Bit beyond your reach?

(Nonny grabs his broom and runs to get on it. Molly stops him.)

Molly: Nonny, no! You heard what Madam Pilot said! Besides, you don't even know how to fly.

(Nonny flies off.)

Molly: What an idiot.

(Nonny is now in the air, across from Tobias.)

Nonny: Give it here, Gordon, or I'll knock you off your broom!

Tobias: Is that so?

(Nonny makes a dash for him, but Tobias twirls around his broom in a 360.)

Tobias: Have it your way, then!

(He throws the Remembrall into the air. Nonny zooms after the ball, speeding towards a tower. Just as he is about to hit a window, from which Mrs. Grouper is working/watching, he catches it, and then heads back to the group. The students all cheer and run to see him.)

Boy: Good job, Nonny!

Boy 2: Oh, that was wicked, Nonny.

(Mrs. Grouper appears quickly.)

Mrs. Grouper: Nonny Pirruccello? Follow me.

(Nonny sullenly follows her. Tobias and his goons laugh.)

(Scene: Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom)

(The Weather Weasel is inside the classroom, teaching, holding an iguana.)

Weather Weasel: An iguana s-such as this is an essential in-gredient...

Hauntsworth leads the students up the stairs. The stairs change so Hauntsworth tells them to stay with him. They arrive at the common room and Hauntsworth directs them to the dormitories. In potions class, Mr. Grumpfish notices that Nonny isn't paying attention, and he isn't impressed with Nonny. In the mail, Goby receives a remembrall which when it turns red, you forgot something. During flying practice, Goby takes off too early and his broom is out of control and he falls off. The teacher says they will be expelled if they start flying before she comes back. Tobias takes his remembrall and he puts it on the roof. Nonny flies up and he gets it despite the rules. Mrs. Grouper catches him and brings him to Mr. Shapero. Inside of being in trouble, Mrs. Grouper claims to have found a seeker.