Get This Man a Refill. Part 2.

This is a tough postion to be in. Would I react the same? Could I overcome the fear inside myself? Or would I realize that I am about to throw-some-down? This just makes me realize how little a man I am. But gives me hope that I can prove myself wrong.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words yesterday about the situation yesterday with guy on the phone.

There was a draw back to the whole situation yesterday.

When we got home my kids were kinda quiet, they didnt know how to act around “daddy” anymore.

Later in the day I over heard my 5 your old asking my wife why the man was so mean to his “Daddy”. My heart was broken.

I have always tried to keep my kids shielded from the bad things in life. I dont watch the news in front of them and I never let them watch shows that they arent ready for. I let my 10 year old watch powerrangers but he is the only one. But he understands that its all pretend. I have a very different way teaching my childen whats acceptible and what not, what real and what pretend.

Earlier this year my oldest was in the back yard with his cousins playing. I was in the kitchen and heard them screaming BANG, BANG….your dead. I was out there in second…..”what game are guys playing?” My son tells my that they are playing “WAR” ……”Where did you hear about this game” I said to him. Turns out that he was at my wife’s sisters house the day before (the cousins mom) and his uncle was watching Pearl Harbor and he had no problem letting all the kids watch with him.

I asked him “Was it cool movie”?. “Yes dad, all the explosions and planes flying everywhere, it was cool” I told him that I didn’t want him to play that game anymore until we talked about it then I went inside and told my wife that I was going to the video store and that I would be right back.

Later that night after the younger kids went to bed I had a long talk with him. I explained that War was a game that I didn’t want him to play it anymore. We talked for about a 1/2 hour about the subject. I explained to him that sometime we have to go to war with other countries. Sometimes our county will ask us to do things that we don’t want to do, but it’s our obligation. “Are the other countries the bad guys dad”? “I don’t know if they are bad guys, that’s not my decision” “In fact I’ve never met anyone from the counties that we are in a war with right now.” “Have you ever been in a war” Nope…….”Will I have to go to War”? “Maybe but that a decision your going to have to make for yourself when the day comes”….”I think it would be cool to fly planes and drop bombs”

“Son, you know that’s movie you watched. Its pretend, that isn’t really what war is like”

It was then I pulled out “Saving Private Ryan” and put it in. Son we are going to watch the beginning of this movie and then we can talk about war …..OK,

I played the first half hour. I watched as his face went from excitement to sadness. He sat there quietly; finally he started to cry so I turned off the TV.

“Daddy, I don’t want to go to war”…..”I hope you don’t have too” I said to him. “Was that a real war” he asked. “No, that was still just a movie, no one really died in the movie, but that’s more what war is like.” “Not like the other movie you watched, that’s why I don’t want you playing WAR”

Later that night when I was tucking him in he looked at me and said “I’m not going to play that game anymore”. “Good” I said

Why the long drawn out story…….the point is I choose to teach my son in the best way I felt was appropriate about a bad subject. It was something that I really didn’t think I would have deal with for another year or so. Someone else’s bad judgment had put me in a situation with my son that I had not wanted to be in at this time in son’s life.

I am not a prude. Both of my older sons know that there is bad things in the world. They know about strangers and what may happen to them if “Someone steals them” (my 10 year old is now asking me “What exactly are the BAD THINGS that would happen if someone steals him) but this was the first time that they were directly involved in it. All because this man didn’t think of the others around him.

You see that man took a lot more from me then if he had tried to beat me up. He took a little bit of my kid’s innocence away that day and they will never get it back. All for a phone call and language.

Now I have to explain to my 5 year old why some people are mean. I guess I’m going to have to try to explain that some people are just unhappy and that makes them mean to other people. Ill have to explain it in a way that child will understand. A child that sill asks me why the sky is blue and why grass is green and why his dog wags his tail when he is happy. These are the questions I should be answering for a 5 year old, not “Is the man with the phone going to come our house and hurts us”?.

It seem that the guy really got in the last word yesterday even though he didn’t say a word.

Anyways……I hope someone will remember this thread when they are in front of kids and understand that our actions effect kids in totally different way then we might think.

Advertisements

Like this:

LikeLoading...

Related

One Response

Wow. He’s worried about some guy cursing in a restaurant, and yet he’ll show the most goary war movie ever made to his 10 year old kid to “teach him a lesson”?! That’s enough to traumatize the kid for the next 10 years at least. But thank goodness he didn’t have to learn the cussing lesson yet. Who knows how our “hero” will handle that one (besides throwing soda on a stranger in a restaurant, of course). Brandon, don’t strive to be like this guy. He doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing.