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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

So what are all the "in-the-know" cookie connoisseurs talking about these days? Why, the newest rage in baby-shower cuisine, that's what: fetus-shaped cookies!

And how do you GET fetus-shaped cookies? With a fetus-shaped cookie cutter, of course! (Duh!)

Here's what they're saying over on Stupid.com, where you can purchase your very own FSCC:

"At last, EVERYBODY can have "one in the oven" with the deliciously disturbing Fetus Cookie Cutter!

Imagine the expression on the teacher's face when your kid hands out oatmeal or chocolate chip fetuses to all the students. We can almost hear the Principal calling now."

They also point out that it takes a special kind of baker to make these babies, which I would have to agree with. And if you're still not disturbed, check out the video which features the song "Fetal Bites" to the tune of Edelweiss. (Sample lyric: "small and white, far from right, you sit on my tongue sweetly") I guarantee you'll find it horrifying. Or hilarious. One of the two, anyway.

Yeah I can definitely see a little fondant top hat and a candy cane on these guys. Maybe they're meant to be Mr. Burns cookie cutters? It's got the same posture...I can almost here it saying "exceeeeellent".Or this would be a great gift for fans of Silent Hill 3.

Congratulations, by far one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen.Makes me think of a poem (forgive me, I was way too young for me to accurately remember this) by Shel Silverstein, "Somebody ate the baby."

But hey, while we're at it, why don't we have placenta cookie cutters to go with? Could you imagine - a twizzler/liquorice rope between the two for an umbilical cord, and... no, I just creeped myself out.

This reminds me of my sophomore year of college, when pro-life supporters were handing out tiny feti made of plastic. It was some what ironic because people would just throw them in the trash (unless you were like my roomie and me, and named it Fernando and stuck it in your fish tank.) Now they want us to EAT them?!? Woo-hoo, Cannibalism!

I guess I'm that special kind of baker, seeing I saw it, thought YES!I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS! and bought one...the lengths I will go to, to make inside jokes into baked goods, and give them away as Christmas presents, because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like sprinkle covered fetus cookies.

Um. Yeah. Uh. The cookie's "eye" is big, making it look creepier than it already was. While a real fetus may have an eye that size, it's generally also hidden in a uterus full of amniotic fluid. The general public doesn't see that on a daily basis. I suppose it might not look so off the wall if the adornment was more proportionate or something, but like all confectionery mishaps or triumphs, it's in the execution of the craft.

What happens to the unwanted fetus cookies, the leftovers, the malformed, the (gasp!) burned ones? Are they just casually tossed in the trash with nary a thought? Could they not be appreciated by some loving, yet cookieless family? Perhaps there's a gingerbread foundling home waiting for them somewhere.

If nothing else, this site deserves the offical Geek/Nerd Seal of Approval. "Star Wars" cake links, "Doctor Who" and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" references and now "Spaceballs". I'm just waiting to see if any "Red Dwarf" references start showing up....

I think the face that the baker makes in the video while she is eating the cookie is almost more disturbing than the cookie itself..which is already pretty darn creepy. She looks way too happy and excited while she bites the head off of it. Ewwwwww.

It reminds me of a brain-shaped cookie cutter I have. I got it for a celebration we had as my husband was nicely recovering from brain surgery. It was also a celebration for my daughter's first birthday--we called it a "Brain and Birthday Bash."

Disgusting. I can't decide if this one is the worst or the real life baby cake. I guess I just don't know what to say about how strange some people are. At least we can't tell if "It a Gril or It A Boi"

At first I thought the lefthand image was not of the cookie cutter itself, but a white line on a red background showing the shape of the cutter with some kind of wierd red photoshop swirls inside the shape (because fetuses are red and meaty, apparently) and with a wierd little glowing eye. I think I thought this because I originally saw the image on a feminist website and it may have been attached to a post about anti-abortion activists.I find the actual cookie no less disturbing, although for all I know maybe fetuses DO have large, black, dead, alien eyes.

I was immediately reminded of my other favorite site, http://giantmicrobes.com, where they make plush and cuddly little deadly virus and bacteria toys. Wouldn't have thought of it before, but now that I've seen these fetus cookies, I think there might be a future for viral cakes as well. Ebola, anyone?

I am just disturbed by this. Wow. It's rare that a post on this site leaves me feeling creeped out, but this one most certainly does. Lulubelle, thank you for your comments...I laughed out loud when I read that.

Excellent! This is perfect for my cannibalism themed dinner party. I figured I’d serve Hufu (human flavor tofu) on a bed of baby greens for the main course and Eucharist with various cheeses and spreads for the appetizer. I’ve got a few side dish candidates as well. But I was really stuck on dessert.

I think these are amazing, and I can't wait to take them to the next baby shower I am invited to just to return my thanks for all those times I had to sit next to someone's insane aunt and pretend to get excited about each of the 50 different onesies the mom spends an hour and a half unwrapping.

What is so wrong with this? We have the "oh so cute" hand cookie cutters or are they axed off severed hands... the wonderful Santa Head cookie cutters or are they a guillotined head... who doesn't love biting off the ginger bread mans head... or the chocolate bunnies? How can this be gross when it represents life. I think they are very cool.

This made me do a triple-take.1) o.0; wtf?!2) Flashbacks to this VGcats strip (one of my fave web comics)3) I don't care if that's a baby, an alien, or an alien baby, that cookie just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

(First time commenting, but I have to say I love this blog! My day's not complete until I see the latest wreck. Keep up the humor!!)

When I was little, my mom had a lot of cookie cutters (so I thought), so I asked if I could have her cookie cutter collection when she died. This, of course, became a big family joke. Also, Mom subsequently got every kind of cookie cutter known to man.

Mom died three years ago and I got the cookie cutters. But I don't have one of these. I feel I owe it to my mother to get one.

I love these!! I just gave birth 3 months ago, and fetus cookies would have gone so well with the "it's an embryo!" announcements we gave out. My husband and I aren't sick and twisted people, we're just folks who don't take life too seriously. ;)

I love rolling out dough and making cookies, but these have a big problem. The problem is not what the shape represents, but the shape itself. Those little tiny skinny hands are going to be burned to a crisp before the body bakes. Maybe you can put tinfoil over the hands or something.

Now there is a moral dimension to cookies? Please...regardless of shape, it's just dough that's gestated...i mean, baked..in an oven to term...sorry, until done. And then you pop the little suckers in your mouth.

Should we mention that you could color the dough to have every race represented (even though fetuses at that stage are all the same color)?

Let's lighten up; it's not cannibalism. And I think it would be a lovely thing for clinics to pass out warm cookies to those poor protesters out in the cold.

What really astonishes me is that people are actually freaking out over this. Or were, back when it was posted.

It's a cookie, folks. It doesn't really matter what it looks like. We're not squishing up aborted fetuses and making them into cake batter. We're taking innocuous cookie dough and making it into fun shapes specifically for the eating.

We make cookie bats, cats, reindeer, santas, snowmen, and even Jesusi. Why is it so completely awful to think about eating a cookie fetus when most folks see no problem biting the head right off a cookie Jesus or a cookie Santa?

How is eating a cookie grown-up less cannibalism then a cookie fetus? Really now.

i love this! *and i am an expectant momma* ...and i love the licorice umbilical cord idea....why not take it a step further and cover them in a powder sugar type glaze for the vernix? =] just a suggestion. yes...the fact of a fetus shaped cookie is a little strange, but c'mon! have a sense of humor! it's just a cookie. lighten up people!

(with sarcasm) Make sure you make those fetus-shaped cookies from gingerbread to complement a gingerbread abortion clinic, decked out in royal icing, candy, and, of course, red piping gel! It'll be a hit with pro-choice advocates throwing a Christmas party!

I think these are just wonderfully, disturbingly FUNNY!!! Much easier to take than any of those horrid mother-belly-baby head-poking out cakes!! UGH I agree w/those comments about them looking slightly alien-esque too! COOL - Double duty cookie cutters!

Awesome!! Think, people!! Gifts for midwives, doulas, nurses, obs. Pro-life Mommy to 5 and I would eat the cookies. The eye is too big,it needs a mini chip.It's funny, people are more disturbed by the thought of eating a cookie fetus than killing a real one!Oh, and the fun of eating gingerbread includes biting off the head/arms/legs. Who doesn't do this?!?

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