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When this Elska thing started, I was open to shooting any guy. It wasn’t out of principal, but simply because I was too naive to think that one type of guy would be more marketable than another. Over time I learned both that certain types of men are indeed “better” than others commercially, but also that Elska’s decision to ignore that commercial fact was in itself a selling point of Elska. Yet when I met Sanky E for our shoot, I felt somehow uncomfortable. And even after the shoot, before even looking at the images, I told myself that I wouldn’t include the pics in the issue.

It wasn’t age, race, or body type, but rather style that put me off. It seems that I had a problem with the fact that he wore make-up. I’ve shot guys with piercings, tattoos, beards, bellies, even straight guys and trans guys… but suddenly I meet a guy wearing make-up and I’m drawing a line?

But rather than accept my rejection of Sanky as some personal preference, I tried to think about why it bothered me. Honestly, as best as I can think, his make-up was a symbol of effeminacy that reminded me of my struggles with my sexuality as a young teenager. When kids in school called me ‘faggot’ or tried to mimic my voice, I did two things. First I withdrew to become a very quiet kid, trying to be invisible. Second I tried to butch myself up, teaching myself how I could walk and talk like a “man”. Needless to say, as I got older I thought I changed. That is until, I saw this Sanky with his preened hair, plucked eyebrows and beat face.

So I decided to just get over it and publish the images, ‘cos Sanky deserves to be equally with the other Mumbai boys. And, well, the boy looks pretty. Nothing wrong with that!