This is one of the better poems. You tried to give the reader an image, rather telling the reader how to feel.

I think you considered scansion. If you didn’t then know that you inadvertently mostly followed the rule of thumb for scansion: pyrrhics are followed by spondees and visa-versa. Also, I think you made an attempt to rhyme, although I don’t think you have a specific pattern.

Across a sea of golden grassThe windwhistles beneath a brumous skyAnd drifting past the trees it singsA lonely autumn’s lullaby

She dances to a woozy waltzA bold admission of denialOf the pernicious vicissitudes of lifeAnd sendsthem away a thousand miles

The leavesturn to an ember glowThey burn with passion, with desireAlas, such moments are forever fleetingA frosty breezedouses the fire

And I diveinto the wistful winterWith the painful secrets I struggle to keepI fearI’ve become too weak and wearyAs autumn’s lullaby soothes me to sleep.

Note: Bold = stress syllable / no bold = unstressed

My one suggestion is to quit using so many adverbs and adjectives.

Examples: Golden grass, brumous sky, lonely autumn’s, woozy waltz.

Think of another way to describe what you want to say.

An Example:

Original: She dances to a woozy waltz

Possibility: The waltz ignores the drunk adrift

The Story

The narrator seems to want to share his secrets (line 14) with someone but no one is willing to listen to them.

I imagine this is happening in a park near an ocean. The narrator describes the sky as brumous, which is an acid. So I don’t think he is looking at the sky as a good omen. He describes autumn’s lullaby as lonely. Yet for some reason he sees a woman carelessly dancing and accuses her to know nothing about the ills people experience around her. Presumably, he wants her to take notice of his loneliness. For a minute he becomes spellbound by a similar passion and careless feeling. Just as how autumn is a sign of winter he snaps back from his warm feeling to his cold and desolate state. Then after reading the last two lines I realized that autumn’s lullaby is the sound of winter coming.