Sunday, January 24, 2010

Ways To Keep Her Attention

For thousands of years, men have had to go out and find their lovers -- actually, way back before we became evolved men, we just went out, bopped them on the head and took them home. We have recently received a lot of e-mail from men who proclaim: "Why should we go after them?" Fair enough. So you want her to come to you? Ask and you shall receive. Here are the top 10 ways to make her approach you.

No.1 - Manage her expectationsMaking her come to you is the easy part; keeping her is the real challenge. When you meet your dream woman, be honest with yourself and her: Do not portray yourself in a different light. Call it like it is and you will avoid headaches and misery down the road. Most importantly, she will see that you are being genuine, sincere and honest, and she will, therefore, want you by her side forever.

No.2 - Do not prejudge herThis is key, even before you get to the dating stage. Men (and women) are bad in one way: We meet a young woman we like and we attribute her with the qualities and traits of our dream woman. Then we wonder why we cannot do squat at work as we daydream of her.

Then when push comes to shove, we realize that she is a fraction of our image of her and that she is, in fact, nothing like what we believed her to be. This said, you should have absolutely no expectations of her character and she will not disappoint; she may even want you to get to know her better, at which point you can send us a thank-you note.

No.3 - Give her space You may like her and want her to like you, but unless you give her space and do not crowd her, she will never be interested. You know the expression about absence making the heart grow fonder? Well, it's true. So let her wonder where you are, whom you're with and where you're going, and she will hope to cross paths with you more often than you think.

No.4 - Make her the center of your universeOK, before the Men's Liberation movement gets upset, allow us to simply add this: Make your woman think that all you like her for is the BLT (no, we do not mean bacon, lettuce and tomatoes), and she will not care to keep you around for long. But please her mind by showing an interest (a genuine one) in her family, friends, work, interests, hobbies, and dreams, and she will fall for you. Make sure you let her answer you instead of shooting off a session of 20 questions.

No.5 - SmileIt's very important to smile and present yourself in a positive manner. More importantly, make her laugh, make her friends crack up and, if you can, make her parents smile. That way, you'll be laughing to the altar (well, more like crying). Ask 9 out of 10 women, and they will tell you the importance of a sense of humor, so leave the tortured look at home and crack a smile.

No.6 - Be the best you can beNo, do not join the army, even though women like men in uniform. Rather, make sure you smell good, have fresh breath, are well-groomed, and look your best. Yes, some women do not care about looks, especially when your bank account swells to the seven-digits. However, the same way that men demand their women be good-looking, women demand and deserve the same. You have been warned.

No.7 - Play hard to getThis one is an extension of the "do not make the first move" advice. The difference is simple: Even if she knows you are interested, do not throw yourself at her disposal. If she knows that you would walk over water and swallow fire to be with her, then she will rain on your parade and pitch a lit match on your dreams, so let her know that you have places to go and people to see.

We usually think that in some situations, being straightforward is the only way to go, but you know what? Relationships are, for the most part, about games. And whether you wish to admit or deny it, you must agree that the second you find out someone is interested, your level of interest craters. It's almost like having already added another notch to your belt. Except, of course, if this involves the one person that you feel you were destined to meet, in which case you just keep on smiling.

So, show some interest -- this is the bait after all -- but keep your cards to your chest instead of slamming your two-of-a-kind on the table. Who knows? You may end up with a full house if you're patient.

No.9 - Keep her guessingWomen like mystery. Now, I'm not implying that you should lie to them, nor am I saying that you should play games, but you should leave something hidden. Put your life story in a press release and send it to her, and we guarantee that you will be flying solo for a while.

Feed her a bit, but keep her curiosity growing and her interest in you will do the same. If a woman thinks she has you figured out, she will get bored; however, if she wishes to determine what else lies between your two extremes (this last word of wisdom comes from a special young woman, so take her word for it), she will look forward to seeing you again and again.

No.10 - Do not be too friendlySo many men ask why their female friends choose to remain only friends. Well, if you discuss topics that friends discuss, then she will classify you as a friend. Yes, relationships should blossom into full-fledged partnerships, but this is not so at the beginning. And if this isn't enough, she will tell you sordid stories about all of the other men she likes and is pursuing. Act chummy and that is what you become -- a chum.