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Hi! In October 2010, I moved from San Francisco to Manhattan with my husband, daughter, and twin boys. Since then I've been busy teaching myself and my kids how to hail a cab, fly a kite in Central Park, and walk across the Brooklyn Bridge with style. And a few other things. I write about those other things here. Thanks for stopping by!
Email questions to sharonbeesley@gmail.com.

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5/21/13

Rob's Birthday Post: Happy Birthday!!

ella's smile is freaking me out.

It's my husband's birthday. I'm running around trying not to make a big deal out it. In the mean time, here's something he sent me. He calls it his wiener post. Take it away Rob! Thanks for writing a post for your birthday . . .

If you’ve ever been over to our place then you know that we have the worst apartment layout ever. Our apartment opens up to a long hallway and the room directly in front of the entrance is the
bathroom (pictures here).

This morning my kids (and my wife) forgot to close the front door on their way
to school. Unbeknownst to me, they actually left it wide open while I was taking a shower. I walked out of the bathroom butt naked only to discover that
anyone walking down our hallway could see me in my birthday suit. Luckily for me and more importantly for my
neighbors, no one (to my knowledge) was in the hallway at that time and I quickly closed the door. I was
relieved, but it did remind me of this one time when I was in college…

I had gone home to California for Christmas break and needed a ride back to Idaho where I was
attending school. Before heading home, I had picked up some girls number on a bulletin board that said
she was driving back from the Bay Area to Rexburg Idaho and was looking for people who needed a ride
and could kick in some money for gas.

Over the break we had spoken on the phone at setup a time and place where we would meet for the long drive back to Idaho. As we began our journey across the country, conversation
was dull at best and I quickly realized we had little in common and that we were both content listening
to the radio or our CD’s.

Somewhere in Nevada we pulled into one of those half KFC half Taco
Bells. She hopped in line and I went to use the restroom. The restroom was positioned directly across
from where the people were standing in line and consisted of one large room with a standard toilet.

I will attempt not to get to graphic here but I had to sit down to use the bathroom. After completing
my duty I stood up to wipe. At this point, I need to call out the fact that I am standing in the
middle of this room with my pants and underwear down around my ankles. That’s when
the door opened.
Somehow I had forgotten to lock the door. The problem was that the kid that had opened it was so
shocked to see me standing their fully exposed and wiping my ass, that he just held the door open. And
that’s when I saw her, the girl that had been driving me back to school over the last several hours.

There is zero chance that she didn’t see my private part. We made direct eye contact and I had one hand
behind my back wiping and the other out stretched towards the door. I can still remember the look of
disgust on her face. I shut the door. Finished up, washed my hands. Ordered a nacho supreme and a 7
layer burrito and ate them at a table by myself.

What was far more awkward than her seeing all of me, was the next several hours in the car. We never
discussed it, and I got the sense that she was actually upset at me about the whole situation. In all fairness
to her, I never was much to look at and I probably ruined her appetite.

P.S. This is not the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in a restaurant bathroom…
but I’ll save that story for another time.

Hahahaha..Rob, that was hilarious!:) As I was reading this, I could actually hear your voice telling the story:) Hahahaha:) That is one of the best birthday suit stories of all time:) Keep up the great writing,Sharon & Rob!:)~CP.S.HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!:):)

Yep, I'm sitting here in the cafeteria at school choking on my coffee from laughing so hard!! I always have this exact fear about cavernous restrooms so thanks for making it seem more realistic ;) And happy birthday!

Mind. is. blown. I never knew some people *didn't* stand up! I've always stood to wipe, unless i'm in the stall with other girls, in which case i'm just going #1 anyway (but i normally stand up for numero uno too).

i cannot stop laughing. especially since i'm assuming that girl (going to back to ricks i'm assuming?) had probably never really seen a naked man up close. soooo funny. happy birthday to your husband and i can only wish him private bathroom experiences for the forthcoming year!

This post made my day. It has been one of those days when my kids look so scruffy they could be homeless, the ice cream store was closed and I sat in a ton of traffic. And I laughed out loud reading this. Thanks.

I heard your voice retelling this story aloud as I read it in my head. What a great, funny ordeal. I can feel the awkward, tense ride after your exposure. Please don't leave us too long wondering about your MOST embarrassing bathroom moment!