My first date with Robert Pattinson

Dear Rob-

I was reading through the comments from yesterday’s post and was astonished that so many people thought they had 0 chance of ever meeting you/shagging you but, I am quite delusional the opposite because not only do I think I WILL meet you, and you WILL fall madly and stupidly in love with me, I actually already have our first date all planned out in my head! See, I plan ahead! This is one of the things you will grow to love about me. I know. So thanks girls who are giving up, more Rob for me!

You see after I saw this little video I knew we were meant to be… so when you’ve got a free night here’s the plan…

8:00 you pick me up at my place and I fear for my life as you drive to the restaurant. You dodge 3 cats and an old lady. I pray to god we make it… “I’d never given much thought to how I would die… but dying in the place of someone you love seems like a good way to go”

8:17 we make it. barely. the near death experience has given us the shakes so we immediately order some booze to make all those bad memories disappear

8:32 two bottles of wine later we drunkenly gaze at each other as we FEEL that “special spark” between us ignite. We shoo the waitress away who keeps asking us to order

8:32.5 we call waitress back over to order another bottle of wine

8:47 we realize this “special spark” just can’t be contained anymore and we lunge for each other and then realize PDA might not be appropriate in this venue at the owner tells us to “get the H-word out you sicko’s! There are kids around!”

8:48 we stumble to the car laughing and procede to SPECIAL HUG in the backseat like a couple 16 yr olds at lovers lane on prom night

I’m with you on the optimism thing Mooon, but just reminding you of the pact, it doesn’t matter which LTR lady gets him first, once one of us has him you know you will have to share with the rest of us!

@moon – I am pretty sure that 4 minutes was generous enough. I do have to add though…after your second special hug, I pull up and he gets in the car with me. Just sayin’. :) I really wouldn’t mind sloppy seconds with him. Not at all. LOL!

I got a hardy laugh out of the “4 minutes is probably generous” comment, too. The thing for me is, if I had downed a bottle and a half of wine and then special hugged anyone (even *sigh* super sex-is-on-fire Rob) I would probably have to take a post-coital snooze because my body would feel like a warm rubberband and my head a big pile of mush. The cheeseburgAH would have come closer to 9:23.

So moon,is he like,gonna see the top of your head at that in n out or what ? Deets, girl, deets LMAO! and I too, love your tags here.I press the iPhone the wrong way and it sends me to good places! Weeeee!!!! Good morning my lurvely LTR ladies!

Ive thought of so many scenarios for my first date with Rob. I guess realistically it would probably be more like drinking some beers at my place, eatin some hot pockets, seeing if he would teach me a thing or two on the guitar and then not being able to control the sexual tension anymore, we would have a wild night with his Robnana.

but your date sounds just lovely too Moon. Ill take whatever I can get =)

@moon – you’re welcome. I’m glad that my giving up has given you more hope. And, for the record, I have -175% chance with Rob (Husband = -50%, each kid is -50%, the dog is -25% because she would cause a custody battle).

@limeslice – why do those CosmoGirls pics make me sing the KOL song over and over “I loosen my tie, I loosen my tie”.

mmm I don’t know either, I thought it had something to do with Tango In Paris, scene where Brandon takes someone from behind and uses butter as a lub, but now you got me thinking maybe it’s something else…

Now Butter is something I would not want shoved
into such crevaces! EW! LMAO!

By: Jena on April 15, 2009 at 10:19 am

@Carrie – what do you think of Wide Awake? I have one more chapter of Midnight Desire left and I decided I’m going to start Wide Awake next.

Opinions?

I’m leery of the S&M stories. I know y’all rave about them but I just can’t pull the trigger. I’m just too impressionable to be reading that kind of stuff. I’m afraid they’ll push me over the edge of kinkiness..

Always glad to help. The best way to get anything you want is to give the hummer when there is the risk of exposure. Driving down the interstate, for example. Must save the slutty stuff for big request. You get extra points when the truckers going by blow their horns.

Must see this! I love me some eff me eyes. Not sure if you were in on it but some of us decided that Henry Cavill from Tudors (SMeyers pick for Edward) has the eff me eyes as well. Well maybe not nearly as much as Rob but he’s effable.

I realize Rob may have had another comittment and
what’s why he wasn’t there, but it makes me sad to think
that the possible reason he doesn’t go to these things
is because of being bombarded by fans. :-(
Everyone was there but him….sniff.

i love the letter. Plain and simple. Most impressive part? Those first 2 bottles in 15 minutes flat. I lit’rally sat here and counted the time difference twice to make sure I was correct! I am seriously in awe at your and Rob’s drinking ability. I’ve never heard of someone drinking that much one in such a short time and I’m Italian and was in a sorority!

Don’t mean to sound too demanding, but where’s the Twi-theater?
Ok, I guess I did mean to sound demanding. But now I feel guilty for it.
Srsly, I need to laugh today, it’s like living in Forks (sans Edward) down here in DC. Yuck.

OT – My husband informs me that he must take all the women who work for him out to dinner tonight to celebrate the end of tax season. He is also taking my car so they can all fit and he can drive them home safely when they drink too much.

Side note-he only wants women to work for him so he can “be the only rooster in the hen house.”

I hear ya. Such a double standard. My hubby put Jessica Alba with her boobs all pushed up in the air (pre-kid) as the backdrop for our playstation (which my son uses more than he does) and I didn’t say a word. But I put Rob as my computer desktop and he draws a ‘stache and devil horns on him. So not fair.

Ok, so I have to finish watching Twilight today…I had to stop last night while Billy Black was driving up and being the complication.

So, Um, I read all of The Arrangement last night, and that woman hasn’t let out a new chapter in like 2 weeks…but overall I’m sucked in. I read 18 chapters in 5 hours. I love how FF’s make you stay up for no apparent reason.

Okay, this may be TMI but I tried something new on hubby last night (y’know, special hug stuff) and he said “oh my god, did you learn that from your books?” (he meant fan fiction – I hope – or he hasn’t been listening when I tell him that Twilight is straight laced and virginal). Ha! I actually learned the move from Glamour magazine. So then he said “PLEASE keep on reading the way you have!”.

Yeah! I’m all clear to sequester myself in the computer room tonight again!

Yeah, which issue of Glamour??? I get it, but haven’t read the last 3 months worth. I’m down for trying anything.

PS – I tried some new things I’ve learned in FF lately on my hub since I’m usually a taker I decided to be a giver…and my hubby was like “keep doing that…I like it”…it made me feel are warm and fuzzy and by warm and fuzzy I mean hot and bothered….hey-ohhhhhhhh!!!