2006-01-04

The Many Personalities of Clinton Portis: Sheriff Gonna Getcha

All week long, in anticipation of the Buc's playoff game against the Redskins, I will be sharing some of the many twisted personalities of 'Skins runningback Clinton Portis. For those just tuning in, over the last eight weeks of the season Portis has disguised himself as a different character. Surprisingly, the local media has had little difficulty finding Portis each time.

At this point, Portis has officially crossed over from "that's kinda cute" territory to "somebody get this guy a psychiatrist" territory. Kind of like when your eight year old son puts on a tu-tu and dances around the living room, but then three days later he's doing the same thing. When asked why he continued to dress up like a fool Portis responded:

"Just from the letters I've received recently from older people and people telling me their grandparents look forward to Thursday to see who I'm going to be."

Old people? So Portis is pandering to the same group of people who drive with their right blinker constantly on while they go to their 4:30 early bird dinner? Is Portis trying to set himself up for a career as a spokesman for AARP? Somebody please explain how this makes any sense.