It's 2% body fat and a PhD, Tat. God, it's like you don't even read the forums!_________________"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman

ok, all seriousness here, but could that constitute sexual harassment?

I've been dealing with someone who has been getting way to close and saying stuff like that when I accidentally set myself up (like squig did there) and it's seriously making me uncomfortable._________________The Angry Asshat.

ok, all seriousness here, but could that constitute sexual harassment?

I've been dealing with someone who has been getting way to close and saying stuff like that when I accidentally set myself up (like squig did there) and it's seriously making me uncomfortable.

If I were you, I wouldn't go to anyone above you both first. If I were you, I would talk to him/her, and joke in a manner where you are gently asking if they are serious. If they are serious, or start getting more lewd, I would avoid them as much as possible or make my unease visible enough to the point where it doesn't cause them embarresment, but they notice you are uncomfortable. If they are your friends, they would ask you if there is a problem and then you can address the issue candidly. You could always just straight up say it without having them ask, but I find that people are more receptive if they ask you if there is something they can work on. If you confront them outright, they will get defensive.

If they are doing it beligerently, I would warn them first that you will report them. If that doesn't stop him/her, then you take it to the final authority. I think people bust out the big guns way too soon.

ok, all seriousness here, but could that constitute sexual harassment?

I've been dealing with someone who has been getting way to close and saying stuff like that when I accidentally set myself up (like squig did there) and it's seriously making me uncomfortable.

If I were you, I wouldn't go to anyone above you both first. If I were you, I would talk to him/her, and joke in a manner where you are gently asking if they are serious. If they are serious, or start getting more lewd, I would avoid them as much as possible or make my unease visible enough to the point where it doesn't cause them embarresment, but they notice you are uncomfortable. If they are your friends, they would ask you if there is a problem and then you can address the issue candidly. You could always just straight up say it without having them ask, but I find that people are more receptive if they ask you if there is something they can work on. If you confront them outright, they will get defensive.

If they are doing it beligerently, I would warn them first that you will report them. If that doesn't stop him/her, then you take it to the final authority. I think people bust out the big guns way too soon.

Going to the person you have a problem with is fine if you feel comfortable doing that. If you feel comfortable, though. Not everyone will be nice and pleasant if a thing like this is brought up to them, and retaliation is a real problem.

For me personally, the choice would definitely be to go to management instead, since someone who repeatedly makes harassing comments probably wouldn't recognize boundaries if I set them._________________::lesser crisis mode::

Going to the person you have a problem with is fine if you feel comfortable doing that. If you feel comfortable, though. Not everyone will be nice and pleasant if a thing like this is brought up to them, and retaliation is a real problem.

For me personally, the choice would definitely be to go to management instead, since someone who repeatedly makes harassing comments probably wouldn't recognize boundaries if I set them.

True that. In the end, it is definitely up to you, Rothide. Whenever I had problems like that in the past I always had a way of making them all work out. But Stripey is right. There will be people who will just react in a ridiculous manner. The management route in that case is definitely the best way to go.

Oh, and if you decide to bring it up to the offender, make sure that you are out of the immediate ear shot of others. That goes a long way in helping the offender not go on the defensive. Bringing the offender's shame to the attention of others will just make him/her vindictive.

The manager, hopefully, will have had training in dealing with such people and will know how to keep the matter private.

Sometimes, though, people will do horrible things if they think no one is watching, so not always the best way to go. Also sometimes having sunshine put on a problem is the best way to cure it. That's one reason I like going to management for this kind of stuff - because then it's not me they should be mad at (provided the organization doesn't basically say to the offender, "Hey, so and so tattled on you, so be mad at them not us, alright?" Those kind of places aren't really so functional.) And a manager is already used to managing people, so they should have the skills to deal with conflicts like this.

It really depends what this person is like - which is unfortunate, because that means there is no universal advice. Some people are just clueless, some others have an idea that what they are doing is unacceptable and they get angry when called out._________________::lesser crisis mode::