Insert Home Alone Style Cussing Here

I’ve been something of a gypsy the past few years… I haven’t lived in one place more than a year, some places often, less than a year. I got wise (so I thought) a few years back and started having all of my mail routed to my work address. I didn’t have to worry about filling out the change of address forms at the post office… I didn’t have to worry about mail getting lost in the system or delayed because of mail forwarding. It was nice. I thought I was being smart.

And then… Today, I realized what a colossal doofus move that was.

You see, I went to renew my tag today… My STATE ad valorem tax… You guys know I moved home last fall… Well, I haven’t changed my license because, God… That is such a pain in the ass, right? I know… I’ve been meaning to, but I just haven’t had the time and the money at the same time. So, I pull into the (awesome) Drive-Up Tag Office Window, send my license, check card and bill over in the sucky-tube thing.

I’m in my heated seat, be-bopping along with that smug adults-only satisfaction that comes with paying your bills on time (I’m really trying to convince myself it’s fun, okay?) and the guy is like, “Ma’am… This says you’re a resident of Dekalb County. We can’t process this here.”

“Oh, right! I just moved. What do I need to do?”

“You need proof of residency.”

Uhh… Shit, man. What? I don’t pay utilities at my parent’s house. I get all of my bills and bank statements, etc at my work address…

“Shoot, I just moved home with my parents and I don’t have any utilities in my name. What about an affidavit? When I registered my son for school, we were able to use my parent’s mortgage and a residency affidavit from them saying I lived with them…?”

“Let me ask my manager.”

Insert impatient waiting.

“No, ma’am. I’m sorry. That won’t work. Do you have a utility bill?”

He then goes on to suggest that I just go get my license changed to reflect the new address. Brilliant! Right?

Wrong. I also need a proof of residency to change my address. FML.

So then I think, “Okay… I can pay it online, right?”

Nope… The very first line says:

If the address on your Renewal Notice is not correct, then do not renew online.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Can I mail it in? Well… I guess I can, except I would be riding around on an expired tag then until the sticker came…

Can I drive 35 minutes south during the middle of the work day and pay it in Dekalb county? Sure, sure… But what about my license?

Can I change the address on my bank statement so that it comes to my house? Oh, totally.. But I’ll have to wait until NEXT month’s bank statement.

In the meantime, my parents have drawn up a “formal” (read “faux”) rental agreement hoping that will suffice as proof of residency for both purposes. If not, I’m going to have to schlep it down to Dekalb county and pay it there and then figure out the license later.

I’m just really irritated that my STATE tags cannot be paid for ANYWHERE IN THE STATE. It doesn’t make sense… It’s not like, the money I’m paying goes TO the county that I’m paying it in — no, right now, the statement says, “Dekalb County” but I could pay it in my current county as long as I just move here and prove I’ve moved. It’s not a different rate for each county. It’s just… STUPID.

Comments

WTF? That’s ridiculous. I have never encountered that with either of the two states I’ve lived in. In Mass, I changed my DL address online and then when it was all done, I was informed that the Mass RMV no longer mails out change of address stickers and that a HANDWRITTEN label, cut to fit the little space for the address, will suffice. Handwritten! I certainly didn’t need to prove residency at my new place to make the change. I hope the faux lease will suffice…if not, what a pain in the ass! 🙁

Oh, Hai There.

Jami Howard is a writer, designer and professional smart ass living in Athens, Georgia with her fiance and son. She is a WordPress geek, design snob and recovering chaos-addict. Read More…