Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Damn it all to hell and call Ann Quickdraw...I was posting to the other thread for the 3rd time and when I pressed send, it was locked.... As I was trying to say in my previous post.....ahem....I need my Royal ass kicked, how could I leave out Prince. He is just so sexy it hurts. I remember when I was a teen, I had my bedroom walls covered with pictures of him. Over 500 to be exact...And I still remember his birthday..6/7/58..Now am I a fan or what?

Cindy, I am feeling better today, no queasy tummy but I keep having headaches. I took an 800 mg ib earlier but it didn't seem to do any good. I even tried to sleep it away but when I woke up, it was still there. My roomie medicated me with some good green and now it is gone. Go Figure...

Well, I am off to play a bit of Warcraft....I need to let off a bit of frustration...

Queen, I remember when Prince's first album came out, and the cover where he is shirtless. I thought "wow, who the hell is this?" Yes, he is a sexy man, definitely. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Cin, I hope you have a nice time on v-day. I'm not doing anything, other than going to class. We are supposed to have a potluck at class, though. I promised to bring potato salad. I don't usually eat at that time of night, but of course there are always exceptions.

I was thinking about who else I would have a one night stand with. I must say I wouldn't mind having one with Slash. I have always thought he was mysterious and sexy. I also like Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler (I know, I know, gross right). Call me jaded. I've always been attracted to men that aren't the first pick among people. Not sure why that is. I know a little about Mick Jagger's background and I think he would be very erotic. And Steven Tyler, well, he's just hot.

Today I have to take some movies back to the library (they're a day late) and drop something off at my ASO. My dad has called four times between 11:00 last night and 7:00 this morning. It's kind of aggravating. He knows I'll call him back. I was sleeping when he called and I don't hear the phone when I'm in a dead sleep. I can't imagine what it is he wants. But I'm assuming he wants me to go up there for some reason. And I can't. It's not my turn to go up there (my brother is this week) and I don't have the gas to make extra trips (my father lives about 35 minutes away). I'll deal with this later.... Have a good one ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Today I am flat out being lazy. It's after 9 and we haven't even started school yet. Worse is that I'm totally unmotivated to get started. Had the whole day - well most of it - all planned out only to have plans squashed by the great white tundra falling from the sky and sticking to my driveway.

We are in desperate need of groceries and I can't get out to shop. Looks like that's what I'll be doing for Valentine's Day. Looks like homemade biscuits, sausage, sausage gravy, and scrambled eggs for dinner. Oh, wait, I don't have any milk. *sigh* There goes that plan! Walmart is 25 miles away. Maybe later, we'll call and see what the roads in town look like. I'll send hubby out to get milk at IGA. Can't much afford to shop there -everything is so danged expensive!

Aw, crap, there's the dryer buzzing at me. I'm finally down to the last load washed and dried - from the weekend Now to get it all folded and put away. Just another excuse to sit by butt on the couch

Ugh, I hate this stomach virus, if it isn't one thing, it's another. Stomach is feeling funny and now I have the runs. Just great but I guess I shouldn't complain, it could be worse. Nothing on the schedule for today. So, I guess I will just relax..

I have been lurking, but not in the mood to post. Things are over for the Latin Lover and I. We got in a huge fight and he is just being way over dramatic, he says whatever I have to say does not matter. The fight is along story and don't feel like going into now, since I will break down in tears. My saving grace is that my new roommate moved in and its nice to have someone around.

Queen sorry that you are sick but I love your Tinkerbell thing. I need to learn how to do something like that.

Well I am off to get somethings done I work the next 10 days in a row. So i will mostly likely be lurking for a while unless I get time at night to post when I get home.

Snowangel - Scott Baio never really thrilled me. Now Rick Springsteen heee was yummy. Michael Jackson and Prince didnít do it for me either. I havenít been attracted to very many men who where not white and the ones I have been attracted to had Caucasian features. LOL even though Michael has turned white he still doesnít do it for me.

Mum Ė Did your midwife ever suggest kegel exercises? Itís the muscle you use to stop peeing mid-flow. Do about 200 a day and it will likely help. Doing kegels will make birth easier and make sex more enjoyable for both partners.Plus it can keep all your pelvic organs from falling and it can help prevent leaking urine when you sneeze or cough.

Viv - I have watched a few of the Scott Baio shows. Iím not hooked on it but it can be amusing.

Ok Girls I have to pipe up and ask who is Rick Springsteen? Are you talking about Rick Springfield who sang that song "Jesse's Girl" or are you talking about Bruce Springsteen? Or maybe I am just to young and don't know who Rick Springsteen is. If that is the case please tell me who this person is.

Sunseeker--- Sorry to hear that things are over between you and LL. Most breakups usually end with someone hurting and I am sorry that it is you. Whatever the cause of the breakup, it is indeed his loss. So, you got a new roomie, huh? It's nice not to be alone and have someone around. But look out for the little quirks... As for my avatars, I just do a search to find them. I wish I knew how to do my own.

Winiroo-- Michael Jackson never did anything for me either, he was just too fem for my tastes. And now he looks like he should be part of a carnivale. I think he was trying too hard to look like Elizabeth Taylor... Scott Baio I liked when he played Chachi on Happy Days and I have never watched his reality show.

Speaking of reality shows, I watched The Flavor of Love 3 last night. OMG!!!! Now I know I am a bit ghetto but these females are ghetto with a capital G. Then 5 of the women were picked by internet fans, I guess the fans were pissed with poor Flav. Next week's episode looks like the hood rats are going to be fighting..I will have a blunt and a bowl of popcorn ready... It amazes me what people will do for 15 minutes of fame..The season finale of Nip/Tuck is next week. Last night's episode was good as hell, not sure if any of you ladies follow that show.

Sun, I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out with LL. Wasn't there someone else?

Queen, I hope you're feeling better now.

Wendy, right after I read your post, the part about kegels, I started doing them.

Nothing exciting happening today. I dropped something off at my ASO and went to the store for some soda. That's been about the extent of my day. There's a new episode of Law&Order on tonight, which I'll probably watch. More drama with the family, but that's another story. Have a good evening ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Ok Girls I have to pipe up and ask who is Rick Springsteen? Are you talking about Rick Springfield who sang that song "Jesse's Girl" or are you talking about Bruce Springsteen? Or maybe I am just to young and don't know who Rick Springsteen is. If that is the case please tell me who this person is.

Speaking of reality shows, I watched The Flavor of Love 3 last night. OMG!!!! Now I know I am a bit ghetto but these females are ghetto with a capital G. Then 5 of the women were picked by internet fans, I guess the fans were pissed with poor Flav. Next week's episode looks like the hood rats are going to be fighting..I will have a blunt and a bowl of popcorn ready... It amazes me what people will do for 15 minutes of fame..The season finale of Nip/Tuck is next week. Last night's episode was good as hell, not sure if any of you ladies follow that show.

I'm no longer interested in Flav's quest for love. It's old and tired. He isn't ever going to find a good woman with that show just some new booty calls. Its all just a train wreck.

I'm no longer interested in Flav's quest for love. It's old and tired. He isn't ever going to find a good woman with that show just some new booty calls. Its all just a train wreck.

Well, he says this is the last one. I was hoping that it would've worked out with him and Deelicious but according to the show last night, she ran off to do jean commercials. Hmmm, I remember her saying money wasn't an issue since her baby daddy had money. She sure had me convinced. I'm telling you, you got to see these hood rats. None of them seem sincere and they act like they are trying to be the next New York. Lord knows there can only be one New York!!!!

Betty-- I am feeling better, thanks. Nothing eventful happening but it seems like my blog is getting interesting. I don't expect anyone to share my views but today I was called selfish and shallow because I choose not to disclose. The day before I was compared to a crack head and supposedly living in a fantasy world by someone who use to be a forum member here. But I am not discouraged by those comments, more like amused. I wasn't expecting a fan club when I started blogging. My reason was to talk about things that I have kept bottled up and share some of my experiences in hopes that someone out there could relate. I have found that and more than once.

Sun - So sorry about LL, at least you don't work with him, that would suck. You know there are always more, so don't despair. Yes, let us know how the roommate situation goes. Didn't you mention that the roomie is a HE and much younger, like 23yo or so? That should be interesting...... Good luck with it all!

Queen, be happy you don't work where I do. I dread the day when I am at work and don't feel well. I have to go around the corner, through double doors to the lobby. Push open heavy glass doors out to the elevator area, take about 30 paces, turn the corner down the hall and use a key to get into the ladies room. If I EVER have to squeeze cheek I am in BIG trouble. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

BT~ That's cool how you and your sibs alternate weeks to help out your father. So why is he calling you now? Do you happen to live the closest?

Forgot to say when we were listing our "guys"......I was at a Megadeth show a few years back, at a small local place in DC. "Misfits" opened for them, and they are like KISS with the face make-up and all, but very brawny and muscular like Queen's Smackdown guys, and best of all, they play SCREAMING metal music. Well, Misfits finished their show and I was upstairs on the rail looking down over the stage area, when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around and it was the bass player. This guy was HUGE, like 2-1/2 foot wide shoulders huge, massive dude. He motioned for me to come backstage with him. My first thought was to go ahead, in hopes of meeting Megadeth, lol, but I got so worked up that I smiled and watched as he walked away, thinking I was following him. LOL I was never a groupie, but it was kinda cool having this musician tap me on the shoulder.

OK, just found out Misfits have been around since 1978, and hail from Jersey! The bass player's name is Jerry Only, and yes, he is the TRUCK that tapped me on the shoulder! Look.......

OK, stupid me, I was up early today watching the ice storm dump on us. We are allowed to follow the schedule of the Fed Govt, and they were allowed to go in 2 hours late today. I got to work about 45 mins later than usual, but arrived at 915am. I really didn't have to be there until 1030am, and they still would've paid me 8 hours! Isn't that the coolest?!?!? Next time I will sleep in for sure. I live the furthest away, and definitely had the worst of the ice storm this morning, although it was bad everywhere.

I absolutely can't wait to see Iceman tomorrow!!! We are going to dinner and I am always so excited to see him. He really is the coolest, sweetest, sexiest guy. Thank goodness I kissed all of those toads!

Queen, all I can say about those people is, well fuck 'em! I will have to check out your blog to find out the latest. I have been following it. Everyone is different in how they handle this disease. Some people think their way is the only way. I get miffed at people like that. I think that's why I end up going back and forth with some of the people here.

Cin, I hope you have fun tomorrow night. It sounds like you have a dream job. You're very fortunate. Oh, no I don't live the closest to my father. The god of the siblings does. My dad has to have cataract surgery on the 27th and that was the big emergency that he phoned me about. Give me a break.......

I do hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. I hope I do also. Valentine's Day is just another day for me. I'll probably check out the online Kroger's ad to see if they have Pepsi products on sale this week; then tomorrow night is my ethics class. Have a good sleep ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I thought I would post before I go to bed. It didn't take long for Kevin to act like a dick head. He left me a pissy message tonight. He says that I am hard to get a hold of. Let me explain....For some odd reason I can't call Kevin on my cell and it is a local number. So, I was left waiting for him to call me. Some days I didn't get a call but did I cop a tude? No. I don't know why I can't call his phone, his carrier is Verizon. Yesterday I called the ghetto cell company I have and asked them why I couldn't call him when his number is local. They told me that they would have the technician check into it and for me to call back.

While this was going on and even before, I explained to Kevin that I don't always hear my phone ring. I even have a message to that effect. I told him if I don't answer to leave a message, any other time he never leaves a message. So, I have been missing his calls. I told him not to take it personal and that it wasn't me ignoring him. I thought he understood this and he said he did. He knows I wear hearing aids. WTF? I have even tried text messaging him but come to find out he didn't have text messaging, he said he was going to get it. Now why do I get a bitchy message? It pissed me off so I turned my phone off. He acts like it is my fault. And to be honest, it turned me off totally since we haven't even been knowing each other that long. Now I am wondering if I should back off and just walk away. The last thing I need is a man tripping who isn't even my man yet....Sheesh..

As for my blog, I don't expect everyone to agree with my views but you think people could be a bit more understanding. But then not everyone looks at life from both sides of the coin. I try to. I swear if I was a Christian I would make myself a cross and climb up on it. Maybe the people passing judgment would feel better... But just like I get negative comments, I get good ones too so it balances out for me. I am sure there are people that share my views on things but I'm just bold or crazy enough to blog about it. Oh well, 2 tears in a bucket....Motherfuck it, I say. It won't stop me from saying what I feel and as long as Peter doesn't have a problem with it, I'm not overly concerned. I don't go out my way to offend people and those that feel offended can just stop reading. That's my take on it. I learned early on in life there's no pleasing some people.

I'm off to bed. I need to make some calls tomorrow and get my depo shot..Sweet Dreams ladies...

Well, it's supposed to be in the 30's here today. Wow, maybe I should wear shorts! Of course, tomorrow night it's supposed to dip to 5. And we've had so much snow. The last time we've had this much was 3 years ago. I'm so anxious for spring. It seems like an eternity right now.

Queen, I did read your blog and the comments. I would be livid if it were me. But we all react differently. About Kevin.... I don't know why he would be acting possessive like that. I hope things work out the way you want them to. It sounds like you might need to have a talk with him or something.

Nothing exciting on my end. Today is valentine's day and I don't expect to receive flowers or candy from anyone, unless I send them to myself. Which of course I will not be doing. Not going out to eat with anyone. Nothing romantic planned, since I don't have a love life. I hope somebody's going to get some! Have a good one ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Like I tell the kids, it is the day of love...LOL!

Queen I am sorry that you are having to deal with judgemental people. I don't understand why people just can't disagree without judging. We should all be able to say what we feel without people judging us...I judge myself enough, I have no time to judge others...

Today should be a good day. The kids bring in all their little goodies...another excuse for me to eat junk!

Hey all my honey bunnies....Long time no hear from..i hate being absent from the boards so long and then tryin to catch up, but anyways i was out sick with some stomach problem..i dont know if it was a virus or not but i know i was nausous for days n i couldnt vomit...i went to emergency and they gave me some fluids and some nausea meds thru an iv...im better now but damn that scared me a lil...ima go c my id soon..i havent had bloodwork done in a minute...i hope my cd4s arent dropping...

Crushes: hmmm lets c....ll cool J...the old one..the new one is too skinny for me..Morris chestnut..yummy chocalate morsel of a man....Mike Strahan (Go GIANTS!!)...Prince was sexy in a weirdo kinda way..he was too small tho...D'angelo when he was out...Nicolas Cage...it was always just somthing about him, esp in the movie face off... R Kelly the singer not the Perv...Usher is a sexy yung tender too...oooh and my latest shameful prospect is Chris Brown..only 18 but damn baby boy!!!!...anyway im a horn dog and this list could last for miles..so il lend it here..lololo

Queen: Whats good wit Kev??..is he a cutie or what?..i asked this b4 but i didnt see a response but excuse me if i missed it...

Flava Flav is Whack a Doodle!!! and i missed it monday anyways since i wasnt feeling well, i slept early..but i will be watching his whack ass next week...

19 years ago, on Feb. 12th, just two days ago, I tested positive. Also 19 years ago, tomorrow, my first husband died. This was when I was in treatment for drug/alcohol abuse. I guess time does heal wounds (referring to the death of my husband), while maybe not all of them (wounds). I guess I wasn't even thinking about this a few days ago. Then it just hit me when I got out of the shower this morning. Not really sure why. There's been lots of changes, in myself, and HIV. It's now usually long-term survival, instead of a year or a few months. Meds have changed. I remember taking AZT in the early days, being megadosed with it, and having to go in for a transfusion because of my hemoglobin being only 2. I remember the ASO here being only in three church offices, one of the offices being for the director, one being for the nun who helped run it, and one being full of literature and books for people with HIV/AIDS. There was no such things as case managers. I remember a few years after being diagnosed, in 1994, getting the official AIDS diagnosis, getting the wasting syndrome, going down to about 80 lbs, and having Hospice care. I remember all the folks I used to sit with who were ravaged by this disease, in their final hours and their subsequent memorial services/funerals. I remember a lady's (who had AIDS) little girl being harassed at school by kids who had heard of her mum's diagnosis, who used to taunt her saying things like "ha, ha, ha, your mom's gonna die," and the teacher not even shaking the woman's hand when she would go in for parent/teacher conferences. I remember being at a friend's (who had AIDS) house visiting and a couple people going by and egging his front door and the anger I felt. So many stories.... I know this disease still kills, but I don't go to near as many funerals as I used to.

Anyway ladies, I guess I just want to say, I remember...............

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Happy Valentine's Day, Ladies. I am not expecting anything from Kevin so it will just be another day to me. I seem to have missed his call while washing the dishes. Oh well... With the attitude he has taken up, I'm not sure I even want to be bothered anymore. It totally turned me off.

Wishful, it is good to see you back. Glad you are feeling better too. I see you got a thing for the young bucks.. Yeah, Kevin is cute but I find his attitude to be very unattractive lately. I didn't realize you had asked me this before, sorry for not answering.

KeepingFaith--- Oh snap, you know one of the hood rats huh? And she really acts that way in person? What a shame. I don't see the attraction there either when it comes to Flav. But whoever ends up getting with him definitely has their work cut out for them especially with all the kids he has. I remember back in the day when he was gettin thrown in jail for not paying child support. I guess he was "fighting the power" and his ass lost. He should know the court system don't like deadbeat dads, silly rabbit.

Betty--- What horrible memories. But look at you now, you are a survivor and have definitely come a long way.

Viv---What you got planned for your Bday tomorrow? I notice it is easier for some people to be judgmental than understanding. Or to follow along with popular belief than take the time to look at things from all sides. I'm glad I am not like that.

Queen: yes she does at like that in person. Every since she won the beauty review in 9th grade. Did you hear her kept talking about that fried chicken. I sure hope her butt can cook. Did you see when she fell. But she cool REPPING for DA 662. I didnt think anyone from mississippi would make it. Most of them on there are strippers.

Hubby and I own a gift shop called Whimzical Ideas. It's not on the web yet, so no need to look. We decided it would be a good idea to set up a kiosk in our mall last weekend (Thurs - Sat). We couldn't set up until after 9pm on Wed. night. Due to our contract, we had to keep mall hours: 10am - 9pm. I was usually there from 9:30am - 9:01pm. The mall sets up a stool to sit on.

Even in my most teeny-bopper days I was NEVER a mall rat. But, in those 3 days, I learned a lot about humanity - especially human teenagers. Hubby and i scouted the mall for a week before our set up to find the right place with the right amount of traffic. We found a really prime spot as far as patrons. As far as a view, I couldn't have picked it worse! To my direct right was Victoria's Secret complete with an 8ft half-nekked woman on the window. Just inside was a bottomless manaquin with a hand strategically placed on her butt cheeks. Most of the time, the lady went in and the man waited in front of my kiosk for her to come out. One idiot lady came out to show her guy a scant nighty that she was planning to buy. She walked through the store and stood in the doorway IN FULL VIEW of everyone walking in the mall! I busted out laughing. Another guy, thinking he would be smooth, leaned up against the window just outside the door. I smirked at him and nodded to the "picture" he was now proudly standing next to - He put his hands in his pockets and smoothly walked away.

Just past VS was Baby Gap. In it's window were 9 pictures of really cute babies. (And all the people said, "AWWWWW!") They got my bio-clock ticking, so I looked to my left at Wet Seal. Good grief! Their window display consisted of 9 shirts with some demented person's idea of Valentine humor. One said, "Love will tear us apart". What the heck!?! What sick sucker buys that? I did find one to help Matty with his romance problem. It was a pretty black shirt with pink heart outines on it. It said, "Ditch her, pick me". His birthday is in July - guess what he's getting

VS was advertising undies 5 for $25. WS had their's 5 for $10. I attatched string to a rubber band and advertised panties 5 for $1.

After sitting on that danged stool for 11hrs, I was in some serious hurtin'! The only way I could walk was with a very wide stance. I only wear dresses / skirts (comfort reasons, not religious). All day friday, I felt like a VS ad!

part 2: the freaks (and geeks) that came out at night. or, The boy that played the Ukelele, broken drywall, and the local cops

I've never seen Flavor of Love or the New York show. I think my favorite show right now is The Wire (Queen, don't you watch that). This is its final season, which I think is too bad. I wonder if its filmed in Baltimore (I have a niece that lives there). I really don't have anything to report. I went to Kroger's today to get some eggs and tomato soup. That's my life anymore ladies, one boring day after another. Better than being in constant drama I suppose. Have a good one-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I've never seen Flavor of Love or the New York show. I think my favorite show right now is The Wire (Queen, don't you watch that). This is its final season, which I think is too bad. I wonder if its filmed in Baltimore (I have a niece that lives there). I really don't have anything to report. I went to Kroger's today to get some eggs and tomato soup. That's my life anymore ladies, one boring day after another. Better than being in constant drama I suppose. Have a good one-

Betty-- You mean this is the last season of The Wire? I don't watch it all the time but watched it the other night. I like the little thug girl, Snoop. I didn't see her on the last time I watched, I hope she didn't get killed off. I also like Omar too. I will have to watch it on HBO on Demand and catch up. Girl, if you want some comedic relief, watch The Flavor of Love. New York finished her show and got with a dude named Taylor Made, I forget his real name. They have since moved in together and are engaged. I hope it lasts, I'm not sure if I can take a part 3 to I love New York. Don't feel bad, my life is one boring day after another too. I think it is just because it is winter. I am more active during the summer months.

Hi all! I have to admit I watched "I Love New York 2" and I liked it. The lengths people will go through. I don't watch "Flavor of Love" though because I can't stand how women degrade themselves like that. I guess it is good for entertainment value.

I had such a good day at school with the kids. They brought in so many gifts for Valentine's Day. It was almost like Christmas! I have a ton of candy and all kinds of goodies! They are so cute...

I celebrated my birthday tonight with my family. My sister, who is 18, had a date tonight and she said she would take me out to dinner tomorrow on my "actual birthday". She turned 18 on the 1st and I got her 18 little gifts and wrote a poem describing each gift...it turned out really cute and she loved it. She said that she did not know how to top that gift for me and she wanted to get me something good. Well it turns out she made a blanket for me. It is fleece-one side red w/black dog paws and the other side black. The blanket is connect by tying the fringe that she cut together. She never does anything like and she was very excited. I told her Vivian (my dog) will love and she said, "It is not for her, it's for you" So cute. Anyways...that's about it. The kids know it is my birthday tomorrow so we'll what happens!

Mum: Those teenie bobbers are something else. I worked retail when I was in college. Now I hardly ever go to the mall

Hi girls Just wanted to say Happy V-Day. Today was a sad day without the Latin Lover in it. I miss him so much and this is the 6th day in a row that I have cried myself self to sleep. My niece and nephew did call me and wish me happy valentines day. Then my dad dropped by a present from them and it was pictures that they had taken for valentines day. They were really cute. Well I am off, I will check back in, in a couple days.

Kevin has been blowing up my phone most of the day. He left me a voice mail apologizing and then called some more. I still have not answered. I will call him tomorrow, he ruined what was suppose to have been a nice day so he can just stew for the rest of the night. He left a second voice mail but I haven't checked it yet.

Queen Nefertiti is in heat and it is driving the boy cats nuts especially Lucifer. The weird thing is, it is like she doesn't realize she is in heat. She is not meowing loudly or anything, I guess it's cause she is still young. And Lucifer tries to nail her his every waking moment. We now have a cage set up with food, litterbox and water. We call it Kitty Jail and Lucifer is there more than any of them. When they all get to circling her, I put her in there for her own protection. Princess Polly is oblivious to it all but is grateful for the break from Lucifer, I'm sure...

Viv- Glad to hear you had such a good day. So dinner tomorrow with your sister, that sounds nice. So did Valentine's Day with your students, I thought that was cute.

I wonder how Cindy's day was... I wish she would hurry up and post. I am off to been soon....

Happy Heart Day Ladies. I took my mother and ex-mother in law to see the vagina monologes today at a local college and it was so great. It was put on my local college girls and supported by planned parenthood and others. Was a free show and we could give donations if we wanted and the funds were to be used for women's services etc. Was so powerful and really did get women speaking about many issues after it was over. I loved hearing my guest talking about when they first got their periods, what their moms told them etc..was just really cool. st time in years I looked forward to a heart day and really enjoyed the day itself. Nice to be active in the community in a small way today.

Also just wanted to say I have finished my training to start doing speaking panels on hiv/aids in colleges, etc with planned parenthoods positively speaking program. I did a Minni panel Tuesday at a local college and it was so well received. I love being able to give back to the HIV/AIDS community and maybe help keep someone from getting infected or infecting someone themselves.

tendai

theres an actor from Botswana i think of the San tribe. The one who acted in the Gods Must Be Crazy films. Theres an email that went around with his picture and Usher's picture. If it werent for the wrinkles on !nxau's face, they be like twins. it wasnt a flattering comparison though

OMG I am so tired and I need to shower and get to work. TGIF. Valentine's blew up in our (Iceman's and mine) faces bec of something his ex did. He was so distraught that he had cancelled our date by 10am yesterday. After thinking about it all, I can't say I blame him. He just didn't want to be in a funk during our evening.

So, we rescheduled dinner and everything for Sunday night, I may take Monday off. I was sitting eating a TV dinner last night getting ready to watch Survivor, feeling like a loser down on my luck, and he called me again, sounding better, we had talked a few times during the day and the last time we spoke I was holding back tears.

So, he calls and then my doorbell rings. Iceman was lonely sitting at home and so was I, so he came to my rescue, he was at the door with roses, chocolates and a gift bag. He gave me a Frog Lil'Kins and there was a little box in the bottom of the bag. I got THE most beautiful gold and silver bracelet from him! I was crying the entire time cause I was so happy that he came over. Whew.

We still have dinner scheduled for Sunday as well, so I guess it all turned out OK. Yesterday was just an emotional roller coaster for the two of us. He just left for the gym and I need to get ready for work. I'll do replies and post more tonight.

Happy Birthday, Viv and Happy Anniversary to BT for making it this far. Some of us have come a very long way, baby.

Queen, sorry about Kevin, just call him when shit like that happens so he doesn't "stew." LOL More on that later, ooh and I need to read your blog, too.

Queen, yes this is the last season for The Wire. I like Snoop also. She's still on. The first time I saw her, I couldn't decide if it was a boy or girl. I think it's hilarious that you're letting Kevin "stew." Good for you. Yes, I'm busier during the summer as well. I think it's a lot easier to be "out and about" when it's actually warm and sunny outside than when it's freezing and grey.

Viv, sounds like you had a really nice time with your kids. And I would love to see that blanket your sis made for you. I wish I had the patience to do stuff like that. Very thoughtful gift indeed.

Serenity, nice to hear from you. And good luck on your speaking. I used to speak quite a bit in schools, but I never had any special training. Just mainly spoke about my experience.

Cin, I hate to say this, but I have no idea what 'Frog Lil'Kins' is. Please explain. Well, even though V-day wasn't what was expected for you, it sounds like Ice came through in the clutch. Where will you be going Sunday for dinner? I'm jealous.

Oh, and Wish, you sound like such a fun person to be around. You're always so upbeat. I hope you had a good V-day with your man and I want details!

Didn't Drag mention something about going somewhere? There are several MIA's here. I do wonder what's going on with Cristy and Camms.

Well, this morning I was awakened by someone pounding on my door at 6:30 (a.m.). It was my neighbor. My car door was wide open and she told me she didn't know if someone broke into my car (actually, it wasn't locked) and asked if I wanted her to shut it. I said 'yes' and that I would deal with it later. I hope nothing happened. She said she had been knocking since 5:30. I'm not easily woke up when I'm sleeping soundly, unless it's the alarm clock. I can't imagine why the door would be open though.

I really have nothing planned for today. I should work on the final papers that will be due in my classes, but it's just so hard to get motivated to do it. And I wish spring would hurry up and get here. Take care ladies. I'll check back in later.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I played one of my computer games til like almost 6am. I have spells like that when I really get into them. I started stirring and Nefertiti made sure I was up by 11:30am. I am surprised I don't feel tired, it'll probably hit me later and I'll need a nap. My roomie left again so I have the crib to myself...Woo Hooo.

On to Kevin....He called a few times and left messages apologizing last night. I left him stew some more. It must've gotten to him because the next thing I know, he's at my front door.... My roomie hadn't left yet and she's the one that spotted his car so I sent her to the door and told her to tell him I was sleep. Yeah, I know I'm bad.. I will call him later. I guess when he left my house, he called my bff. She laid into him explaining that he should be more understanding when it comes to me being hearing impaired and not hearing the phone. She called me and told me that he has to work til 7 tonight but that he bought me some roses, card and some chocolate covered strawberries along with some good green. I think I can take him out of time out and he has learned his lesson. We will probably end up together tonight. I'll keep you posted.

I think someone from intake at the therapy place left me a message this morning. I plan on giving them a call after I get done here. Nothing planned til later, I'm going to just relax.

Cindy--- Glad things worked out in the end for you on Valentine's Day. Girl, I hope you keep a box of Puffs with you. You always seem to be bawling even if they are tears of joy... Yes, girl, check out my blog. There was a bit o drama going on for a few in the comments. I also added a new entry today.

Betty--- I was catching on The Wire last night on HBO on Demand while playing my game. I know it took me a bit to figure out that Snoop was a girl but I like her thuggish ass. I am trying to figure out what happened with Omar. I see he is beefing with Marlo but it seems like he is on the run and came across some Spanish thugs? I think Marlo is trying to take out Prop Joe by using the Greeks unless I got that wrong. Not sure what the Greeks are going to do because it seems like they like Prop Joe but kept Marlo's money. There's a lot going on there with him. I love that show, I'm going to hate to see it end. I have to watch the prequels too. I am waiting on The Tudors to start on ShowTime on March 30. It's based on King Henry VIII. I love stuff like that. I am also waiting on the second Elizabeth movie to hit ppv which I thought it would by now or dvd even. Yep, I'm ghetto but cultured, there's all kind of facets to me, I am like a diamond in the rough, baby, yeah!!!!

Well, I didn't do my papers for school, or even start them. Which is o.k. I have two weeks. I didn't even get out to my car to see if everything was alright. I slept for awhile and feel like going back to sleep now. I made myself some lunch, ate then threw it all up. It's times like this I wish I still smoked pot. And I probably would if it didn't make me neurotic. I might lay back down in a little bit. Tomorrow night I have to help out at an NA function. I don't know why I commited to that. But I did, so whatever.

Nothing going on. I've been freezing all day. I think I might go get under some covers.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I got with Kevin after all but my son was trying to hang around to meet him. I wasn't ready for that just yet. I got a boxful of chocolate covered strawberries, a card, and some medicinal plant that I like so much. I am trying to refrain from talking about it because my constant chatter about it pissed someone of in my comment. I didn't know I offended anyone by talking about it. We spent a few hours together enjoying each other's company because he had to go to work at 11pm. And he is a male nurse..I swear the irony of it all is just amazing.

Nothing planned for tomorrow so I guess I will stay up tonight in go into a gaming coma...

Gosh- I've been reading up on all the trials and tribulations, happiness and successes of you girls for a while now. My words have been touching these pages very infrequently not for a lack of interest or love but time. My life has been a salty and sweet sensation in the last month. I don't want to reflect on the negative but the positive in this post.I'll start from the beginning:Third grade I met a boy who was beautiful by his smile and smarts and I did everything to make sure I was part of his 8-3 dream. He kissed me in the coat closet, gave me a necklace in front of everyone at cafeteria time and the last day of school kissed me and ran away. I sent letters after letters...where did I go wrong. Nothing. He moved. Years passed I saw him in high school for the first time. My friend, where were you? He looked at me and I became a part of the hallway ...he just smiled and I realized I lost a friend and childhood love. Our landscapes changed...marriage, kids, pupskies and cats.. New last names.

I had a dreadful school reunion. I was not convinced that it was a good thing but I went. I thought for a second about this guy, but for a second. Not knowing that my Dog Park was less than two miles from his house...just around the corner from me.

(Preface:in highschool I was madly in love with someone else so i was not pining over this guy, I let it go like a bad plan fading)

Reunion we meet up and it was so magical with him in my arms.\....remember we barely spoke in high school. But we connected like something I've never felt.On the 4th date I had wavering and a war in my head thinking about disclosure.....pain pain painI did (since its been so long not to bore you) he broke up with me 4 times and each time was noteasy and I could have said "go f....k yourself" trust me but I knew he was for me.I was devasted. There are a few people here who really set me straight and I will forever be grateful.So he talked to his sissy and after a day of research she said "if you love her don't let her go"and then he went to my ID doctor and said" genetically, how does one become so beautiful" ok so do I jump him then or just blush like a blooming idiot. Cheesy perhaps, love no doubt, but man I can tell you this, I am blessed.

Queen, what do you mean 'your constant chatter pissed someone off?' You mean talking about pot? Why would that piss someone off I wonder. Unless they're jealous.

Camms, it's good to hear from you. Good luck with Spencer. I hope he stays with you this time. You definitely have more patience than I do. I hope he makes you happy; you definitely deserve it.

I sweat a lot last night. So I'm hoping that's a sign that the new medicine (Kaletra) is starting to kick some virus ass and my body is just adjusting. I had a bad day yesterday, physical-wise. I had the runs and threw up in the afternoon. I really haven't been around anyone to catch a bug, so I'm assuming it's the Kaletra. I get bloodwork done in a month to see how it's working. For the record, I'm on 2 Kaletra 2 x a day, and Trizivir 1 2 x a day. I've never had any reaction to the Trizivir. Of course, I could have caught a bug in passing in the supermarket also. We'll see.

This evening I'm going to an NA dinner/speaker. I was volunteered to help out. My bff is going to also, so I'm going to catch a ride with her. I will probably also see if there was any damage done to my car. I should start locking it up, but with the cold weather, I worry about the lock freezing. I can't imagine why my door would have been open. Thank God my neighbor was watching out. Ok ladies, I'll check back later-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

What the hell am I doing up this early, you say? It got hot as Hades in my room which is a switch, it's usually more like Alaska and then Queen Nerfetiti wanted to zip around the room and knock things over. She's now doing a bid in Kitty Jail.... Not to worry, it has food and water in it as well as a mini-litterbox so she's not suffering any. So, then I am breezing through the cable channels and what do I find on? Friday, the 13th at 8am, what the hell? What is wrong with this picture? How do you put a horror flick on in the freaking morning? And guess what channel? Done guessing? Only on Bravo...How can you take a horror flick serious when it's on in the morning?

Yep, Betty, I pissed someone off in my blog because I always talk about the green. And the person referred to my nick as The Queen of Green. They were offended because since I receive disability which comes from hard working Americans, I shouldn't flaunt(their word) my use of the green herb. Now I can say I have heard it all. You would think I was right in their face smoking, sheesh. I didn't feel like arguing about something so trivial so I let them have their way and said I wouldn't mention it anymore in my blog. But I didn't say I wouldn't mention it in the forums...

My roomie is about to leave again to do some renovations to someone's house. She's been at it all week which leaves me the crib to myself. I will more than likely crash and burn a little later this morning. And won't have to worry about being disturbed. Not sure if I am going to have any plans with Kevin today. I was pigging out on the chocolate covered strawberries....I don't even want to check my sugar about now.. But I couldn't eat just one, they were too good..Yum!!!

BT, have you considered taking an Imodium each morning to help with the runs? I did that back in the day when I was on Fortovase. You could be right though, since you're vomiting it may be something else. Drink plenty of water. I'm leery of going to the grocery because the flu bug is getting really bad around here. I haven't been to the store since January for a "big list" since I have started my new job. I've had plenty for breakfast and dinner at home, I was always shopping for lunch items. Don't need to get those anymore thanks to my new boss. I may dash into Target today for a few things.

Camms, good to see you, I hope Spencer doesn't let you down. I have been with guys before that are just wildly attracted to you and then disclosure messes with their heads. I know you had a rough time after the initial disclosure, but I hope its going well now. Have you moved past the hand-holding stage? You know we want details! What have you been up to all of this time? I read that you attended a funeral? Are you OK? How is work? Weren't they making cuts?

Queen, nice to read that Kevin did some special things for you for Valentine's Day. How are things really going with him? Is he being more understanding of your hearing impairment? I know you don't want to have to kick his ass! Also, I read your blogs, I wouldn't take it too personally with what those posters said, because they don't know you. Like you said, they can read elsewhere if need be. Also, where did you get the idea that therapists get paid lots of money? They are the most UNDERPAID profession in the world, because most have a "LCSW" title, which is a social worker. The ones that make the big bucks are the ones with the PhD or M.D. who can write the prescriptions. I went to see an LCSW for about seven years and really enjoyed our time together. I haven't been to see him since Oct. 2004 when Doofus and I started planning for the log home.

Meanwhile, my new case manager kept trying to get me to go see their HIV therapist last fall, and I always declined. Its nice to know that if something monumental were to come along, I have resources. I'm doing pretty well for the most part.

Iceman hasn't called, he went to get his girls last night and usually calls after they go to bed. Nothing. Its OK, but I just miss him, I get so excited every time he calls, and we usually have no time to talk between his job and mine. I was so relieved when he came by unannounced on Valentine's night. I was really in a funk. He brought me roses, a box of Russell Stovers which is almost gone , a Frog Lil'Kins/Webkins which is like a Beanie Baby/stuffed animal (there ya go, BT), and my bracelet. We'll be doing dinner at a cozy, romantic restaurant on Sunday night, too. Damn I miss him this morning.

Oh, he just called.....

Queen, you posted while I did. One of the girls at work brought chocolate-covered strawberries in yest that her sister had made. Yes, she was nice and shared with the accounting dept!

Wow, I couldn't believe it when I saw your post on here Queen. I thought, just like you said "what the fuck is she doing up at this time?" I've never had chocolate covered strawberries, but they sound delicious. I read the comments in your blog. It's really no one's business what you do with your money. But, you need to do what's right for you. If not talking about it in your blog you think will keep down the negativity, then you have to do what you want. It pissed me off when I read those comments. I hate it when people try to be butt-inskys in a bad way.

Cin, you're up early also. I might have had a bug, not sure. I ate breakfast this morning and so far so good. I'm craving salt, so I might eat some pretzels in a bit.

It's actually sunny here today. That makes me happy. It's always a little easier to deal with things (life) when it's not grey all the time. I talked to my NA sponsor today. She's the one I'm going to be helping tonight at the NA function. It's a dinner/speaker/dance. Apparently there's been some mismanagement of the funds that were allocated for this event. So my sponsor took over. I hate it when people steal money from 12-step groups. My ex did that years ago, but got called on the carpet and paid it all back, which was $200. I know it's easy to do, but to me, that's just old behavior. And you girls know how I feel about karma. Anyway, have a good morning ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

After I smoked some of the good green about an hour or so later I went back to sleep. And I am back to talking about weed, glorious weed because someone else posted in my blog and supported me. This person had a valid point too, yeah, Americans pay for some to be on disability but if the person who is on disability has worked as well then it is their hard earned money too. And even though I may be ghetto, I have always held down a job up until the time I got on disability. So, I have earned my right to talk or flaunt my smoking weed. I guess I was just trying to make the other person happy and keep the drama to a minimum. I don't want my blog to be like an episode of Jerry Springer. I am just surprised that folks read my blog. I have read the other blogs and they seem to have more stuff to talk about that I thought people would be more interested in, I guess. When I write in my blog, I speak from the heart and not about political things. More along the lines of things that are affecting me or happening in my hood.

I hope you will feel better. Are you sure you're up to doing this function tonight? I would think the sponsor would understand if you told them you are sick.

Cindy---

Last night was nice with Kevin. He wanted me to spend the night at his place even though he was going to work. I declined because we don't know each other that well for me to be staying the night, though I appreciate him trusting me. And I didn't want to miss taking my meds. I am a litle irked about something though with him. I guess more so because he is a nurse. Let's just say things got a bit hot and heavy last night. We were down to our birthday suits and this man was trying to do the deed... And without the mention of a condom. Not to worry, it wasn't happening even if he did produce one, it was too soon for that even though we were naked. But it did cause me to get up and get dressed. I mean I expect that kind of behavior from someone like Rico but because Kevin is a nurse, I expected him to be more cautious, I guess the word is that I am looking for. This is what I meant in my blog by the other person being responsible but folks still want to blast me for not disclosing. I guess I thought it would be easier to disclose to him when the time comes but not I have to wonder.

I dunno about therapist and their salaries. I guess I just assumed they got paid more and not like social workers. I am hearing about folks having a therapist at their ASO and I am wondering why mine doesn't have one? I guess it's just not in the funding.

I got a taste for meatloaf so I might just cook one today. I have the hamburger thawing out if not then it will be burgers...