I've had several defining moments but none have yet motivated me to stick with anything. I suspect (given a recent post I read) I might be self-sabtaging myself... Anywho...

Defining Moment Number One: I've never had a full length mirror. I was tying my shoes in my school's gym one day when I glanced my reflection in the full length mirror. My head looked almost like a tiny dolls head perched atop a fat suit. My body is so disproportionate. I have a tiny head, tiny boobs, but everything else is huge.

Defining Moment Number Two: I've never been happy with the way I look and insist on being the one behind the camera anytime a photo is being taken. One day my friends and I decided to do a picture swap, and for the first time since I was in Junior High, I saw pictures of myself and what I really look like. It's one think to see yourself in the mirror everyday. Since you see it everyday you don't notice the small changes that occur over time. It's not until you see actual evidence of yourself, in your most unflattering poses, that you realize how much you're in denial.

Defining Moment Number Three: My boyfriend (husband now) found a ticklish spot on back that he licked to tickle me with, and he could always find it somehow. When I asked him how he could always find it, he said it was in the nook of my fat roll.

I can't to just be able to cross my legs comfortably in a skirt. I want to hear you are sexy not your tall so you carry your weight well. I want to be be noticed as a tall bomb shell when I walk into a room. I want to just be tall and shop for clothes. Do you know how hard it is to find clothes in tall and plus size...next to impossible.

I am a tall woman so when I reached my all-time 225lbs, it didn't FEEL like I was THAT fat... can you say, *denial*. Yeah. I developed type 2 diabetes 25 years ago and went into denial about that as well, ignoring what I ate and sometimes even not taking meds until I was finally on about $500/mo worth of them just for the diabetes! (Yes, I eventually started taking the meds, but still wasn't very good on food choices.)

I got a new doctor about three years ago and he told me he wanted to put me on insulin. That, to me, was a defeat. I decided right then that I was going to do something about it. I asked him to hold off until the next 3-month A1c test and I started eating better. Then, after about a month of eating better I decided to start walking on my second-hand treadmill that had been sitting collecting dust.

It took me about a year, but I lost 80 lbs and participated in my first 5k run (I walk, due to several back fusion surgeries). I went from a size 22 to a 2. I was in 7th heaven. I felt good, strong, had energy, and was more confident and comfortable in my own skin than I had EVER been. And? Did I mention? The doctor ended up taking me off ALL meds!

Cue the holiday. I gained about 15lb the first one. In January, I worked hard and got it back off... then came the next holiday season, this last year. I just went nuts. Eating whatever whenever however... WTF WAS I THINKING? Work got busy and I slacked off my walking... I went back on one of my diabetic meds... and the Hubs said, "well, you were too skinny anyway..." Which, I love him dearly, and he has always made me feel sexy and loved, so when he says things like that I listen. In the back of my mind I thought... okay, so I'm not going to be a size 2 anymore. Nothing wrong with a size 4.

Then the mortifying happened. I was with him out one day doing errands and got into the pickup and my jeans split. I mean, right out in the "apron" area. How awful. I'd NEVER had that happened. EVER. I went right out and bought a size 6. When those got tight, despite saying "never again" I've now moved into a size 8. I re-joined FS and have been struggling to get my s*%t together to take control of this before I am back where I started or more. I CAN'T GO BACK THERE. I appreciate so much all the stories here and the support from you all. It totally makes a difference...Being accountable to someone besides my personal journal is getting me back on the right track.

As someone said, it comes back on way faster than it comes off... I've just got to call on all the patience I can muster and keep living to be healthy.

I would love to be comfortable in a swimsuit, I mean completely comfortable. I have always been "thick" and have a voluptuous body that I LOVE, but when I see thin women who can run and play on the beach without worry as to what is jiggling I'm a little jealous. I want to frolic!

I can name about a dozen reasons but here are just a few:1- I am worried about my blood pressure and developing diabetes.2- I have no energy.3- I hate the clothes I have to buy and I am not really thrilled with my body at the moment.4- Literally, I am uncomfortable in my own skin.Thankfully, my husband does not make negative comments. (He probably wouldn't survive if he did!)

Oh I can relate to so much of what is being said here. I have been on a roller coaster for the last few years trying to lose the weight I have gained after getting married. I no longer can fit into regular sizes and have to hit the plus size sections. Seriously do they think bigger people wear tents I just feel so under dressed in some of the plus sized clothes they seem to make them huge. I really hope to stay on track this time and lose this weight without gaining again.

I know I'm tall, I know I carry my weight well, but I also know I've gained gradually over the past 1.5 years and I was a bit overweight to begin with. For me it's mostly about just feeling uncomfortable in my body - sitting at the table and feeling my belly rest on my thighs like I'm pregnant again. Only being able to fit into my one biggest pair of jeans and even they're getting tight. And my job has a physical component to it that I'm starting to struggle with a bit - not so anyone else would notice, but I feel it. I love my work, and I'm proud of who I am, so I am taking control and fixing my problem. So there!

It's taken a few days but I've read through all the posts and some are really inspirational! To see how people felt a yr or so ago and to see by ur weight loss ticker yous have lost 50/60/70 lbs is just amazing! It's just very motivating for me that I if hadn't gave up I'd maybe be at my goal weight by now.. I've had a few eye openers recently, shopping before Christmas I didn't try anything on just bought stuff and assumed they'd fit..I almost cried when I went to try on a pair of jeggings and couldn't get them past my lower leg i exchanged them for the next size up and theyre still to tight.. any tops I have are now too tight and show every lump and bump of my stomach, and my confidence is an all time low that I won't get naked in front of my boyfriend cause I'm so conscious..I weigh more now than I did after giving birth, and I'm so short and have such a small frame that any extra weight I have really shows..it's time to make a change

Wow I can relate to so many of you. A few years ago I went to the Rocky MOuntains with my husband and there was a full length mirror in our room. I knew I had gained weight because of the scale and buying new clothes but had not gotten a good look at myself in a few years. My body disgusted me! It has been up and down since then but I won't give up. I used to LOVE in skirts and now I can't even put one on because my thihgs rub together so much, it hurts. And I won't ever get together with people from high school and avoid invites because I don't want them to see me 55lbs more than I was in high school. I will miss my 20 yr reunion next year if I don't get this weight off. I feel ashamed.I am glad to see I am not alone

Whedonfan "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."Mahatma Gandhi

I've been heavy most of my life but a few years ago went from 232 to my lowest (even during hs) of 139. I let it come back on during a period of stress and now it's got to come off. I remember packing for a week vacation and having ALL of my clothes fit in a carryon or a big tote bag. I want that again. The funny thing is my attitude about myself is actually better at this stage of my life than when I was thin but I'm going to take the attitude with me this time into my thin-ness

I decided that my family wouldn't be one of the one's walking around that you look at the overweight parents and then scan across to the kids that are already headed the same direction.My 3 yr old son got a little belly, that went away as soon as he shot up a couple inches, but I looked at that and said NO! I am stopping the cycle before it starts.I WILL be a healthy example for my children.

“Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.” ― C. JoyBell C.

Well where should I start. I am 226kg/498pounds so there is heaps of things.

1)To go on rides when the show comes to town.2)Buying nice clothes with prints on them rather then clothes that don't fit right and are all one colour, no prints just boring.3)Getting the job I want. Some people want hire me because of my size (before people say "how do you know", they said it to mt face)4)Be fitter for my partner and her son so we can do more stuff and fun without me getting tired quickly.5)People starring at me and my partner. My partner is not over weight but they look at her as much as me just because she is with me, makes it very hard togo out.6)Sex. Our sex live is good atm but being fitter would make it great 7)Don't always have to buy a big car. Which costs more in fuel, rego ect.When invited to a party, wedding ect I won't have to worry about the seating a couple of days out form the party. ie; plastic seats ect.9) when having dinner, my stomach is under my mouth not my lap so 99% of the time I end the meal with some of it on my boring shirt.10)Living longer for my partner and her son and any future children we have.11)Travelling. My partner comes from overseas and wants to travel there in 2014 so if I don't lose enough weight I will have to buy two seats just for me and that will be very embarressing and travelling with this weight will be very hard on all.12) Last and the biggest - We want to have a baby. We are trying but it has to be my weight that is stopping us

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