Saturday, 2 July 2016

30 Day Challenge: Your proudest moment

I'm pretty sure I forgot about
continuing this challenge because I couldn't answer this question at
the time. (Not that I'm any wiser about it now.) Anyway, let's forget
about that silly idea about answering in comics since it feels forced
now. I have another challenge to do already but maybe I should just
get rid of this one at the same time and make both a weekly thing for
a while. :D

Ahem. Who can honestly decide their
proudest moment? Maybe some people can. I certainly can't. This
reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend some years ago. She
had a random question for me: Three things about myself that I'm the
proudest of. I had no idea what to answer. She had her answer ready
and seemed so sure about it. But to me, this clearly isn't something
I've thought a lot about. Maybe never, really. When I tried to answer
it in this challenge the last time, I ran into a wall because I
realized that most of the things that came to my mind were about
other people, not me.

I guess that's just how I am? Of course
I'm thrilled when I succeed, but I feel more lucky than proud. When
the people close to me do, I'm thrilled and proud.

So, I figured that the moments I
actually remember feeling proud for myself as well, is when I've
achived something with other people. I still don't have just one
moment in mind, but in general. I can recall that most of my fondest
memories from school and hobbies are things like these.

So how about I reminisce for a while
and see what comes up.

The moment after a dance concert
when everyone stands together on stage.

This never stops being magical to me.
No matter how hard it was, how much extra work appeared out of
nowhere, how many mistakes happened, how much people yelled or
fought, at this point none of it matters. At least it seems to me
that it matters next to nobody. Everyone is exhausted and happy.

This is especially true of folk dance.
No matter how much ballet means to me, it's still folk dance that takes the
unity of the dancers to another level. It's especially amazing at
big, international dance concerts. Sometimes it really feels like the
more people there are, the more connected everyone is, which sounds
like such a challenge. These events have never left me cold, whether I'm on stage or in the audience, I just feel so proud
of everyone involved.

Almost any school project with the
whole class involved.

My class from elementary school to
middle school was known for good team spirit. It's pretty easy to see
where that initially came from. We were the music class, so we had a
hobby in common and we always had some performance to work on. (I
think it was pretty much the same with the music classes in other
grades too.) Our class definitely had its cliques but everything we
did together we really did together, and it was always so much fun.

Most of it was about music of course.
Be it a concert, a CD project, or a camp, all of it is a special
memory to me. And that's because we never did just what we were
supposed to. Our class was always ready to do more by ourselves, we
came up with plays, dance performances, even cheerleading, and found
ways to include it at school. If one person knew what to do, they
could get the majority of our class to do it too. I was so proud of
every project, because I always got to feel that we gave it our all.

The moment after a big successful
family party, when everyone sighs for relief.

Parties are a big thing in my family.
The preparations are always such a hassle, a massive amount of work,
usually a lot of yelling, stomping, slamming doors, and tears. The
parties are mostly my mother's thing, she has a vision, knows how
everything should be. The rest of us often don't, but we try our
best.

It's pretty safe to say the parties
always turn out great in the end. But I think it's even better when
the guests have left, and for a moment everyone is really satisfied
that the work is over, and that it was worth it. At that moment
everyone shares the feeling, everyone has the same look in their
eyes: everyone thanks each other for the hard work. Every difference
is put behind for a moment, and I'm really proud of my family.

Being able to hold the concrete
results of a massive amount of work with someone.

I really mean this in a literal sense.

Like every time I filed new pages of
the exchange comic I drew with my friend. To see it grow. To feel the
weight of the years we'd drawn it.

To print a collaboration story, see it
”come alive” from the printer, page by page.

To read any portfolio of a group
project, to see every string drawn together in that form.

Putting together a scrap book for a
group, seeing memories from all the years together.

When everyone is enjoying a group
project and contributing to it from their heart.

I guess this is what gives me one of
the highest highs in general. And totally overlaps with everything I
said already. But these moments I get to stop for a moment and just
look at the people involved, and see that they're totally
unselfconscious, because they're having so much fun and putting all
their energy into what everyone is doing.

My high school theater dioloma project Case Casanova
is one of my clearest and most treasured memories of this. We had
such a great group.

Silly stuff I do with friends.

I actually do feel proud about silly
accomplishments with friends. Like marathoning a series we love, or
playing a successful (friendly) prank on someone.

And these are the ones I have nothing
to do with, but I'll mention them since they keep coming to my mind:

When someone does something ”I
always knew they could”. I
think I can say I understand people's strong and weak points well, so
I easily feel proud for them, because I often have more than a
general understanding of what they needed to overcome, and what
needed to click just right.

When awards go to the right people.
This is totally subjective of
course. Sometimes I feel like it's so great when someone is
recognized for their pure talent, and then other times I'm so happy
when someone's hard work is recognized, or when someone who can
create a really good atmosphere gets the spotlight. It depends on the
circumstances. I guess this is relevant to me because in some places
only certain kind of efforts get recognition, and then it's always
the same people.

When friends who fight or disagree a
lot defend each other. This
always warms me up so much. When people who never seem to see things
the same way, or even seem to be having that great time together, are
ready to put themselves on the line for each other.

When someone faces what they fear.
Looks like this is related to
the first one. But there's sort of a different drive in facing what
you fear. I usually have a good idea about how scared someone really
is, so in the moments they overcome it, all I see in them is power,
and I can't help but admire it.

When things ”click” and someone
realizes something about themselves. Or
admits something. That's growth, and I'm a fan of growth.

When someone uses their priviledge
to help someone else. Self-neglecting
doesn't impress me, I'm all too familiar with how much that actually
helps anyone. Nothing grows from it, but this is different. This
doesn't make anyone smaller. When people realize there's a
constructive way to help others, I'm overjoyed.

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