With Pulp | Arimoto Mother Fucker!

Jesus Christ, who the fuck let one of our filmers write an article for the site!?! If you didn’t read the last article don’t waste your time. Go watch the video though, that shit was sick! Fuck do you see me on there in the streets filming? NO! Do you know why? Because I am not a fucking filmer! Yet I get a phone call telling me that one of our filmers is posting an article! WTF! Take a seat rookie.

WHY ARE AMERICAN’S SO AROGANT? I’m an American so it is not offensive to make fun of yourself. Hear me out. Supposedly the world is going to end today. All week this is all I have heard people say. “You think the world is going to end tomorrow?” No it is not going to end tomorrow. Why? Because of the Republic of Kiribati. What the hell is that you ask? It is the future. The Republic of Kiribati is the furthest forward timezone in the world. The are the first place to start a new day every morning. So if the world is going to end on December 21st it would have to end at 6:59am eastern US time / 3:59am western US time (pacific). If it didn’t end by that time than the Mayans were wrong. Why? Because Karibati is 16 hours ahead of the eastern United States and 19 hours ahead of the Western United States. So theoretically if you wake up tomorrow the world is not going to end. It will already be December 22nd in Karibati by the time you get up tomorrow. But all day tomorrow everyone here in America is going to bring up in some form or another, “so uh you think the world is going to end today?” No I don’t, because it would have ended already. You think the apocalypse in on American time? It’s just like us to think it would be. It’s like the myth that French people are rude. I traveled to France once and asked them about this. They responded, “I think it’s rude that you people travel to our country and expect us to know English.” Makes sense, most American tourists never take the time to learn the language of the place they are going to visit. We just rely on the idea that where ever we go people should know English. Yet, when foreigners come visit us we get pissed if they don’t speak English. It’s not that far of a stretch to think that others would be equally pissed. Instead of owning up to it we instead make up some rumor about French people being rude. Some countries just don’t like Arrogance. Even in writing this article I am waiting for someone to email us with some variation of the saying, “if you don’t like America you can get out!” Freedom of speech is our first right in the constitution, yet every time we exercise it someone else is telling us to get out. Fuck yourself. The world is not going to end. We need to learn a new language. And part of the fun of being an American is we can bitch about anything we want. Seriously though if one person brings up this end of the world thing tomorrow I am punching them in the face. I’m going back to bed.