You Know That Awkward Moment Before They Break Down In Tears?…

When one of my students has a hard time finding the right note or playing the right note, I feel like I should step in and show them how, but I also feel like I should give them some time to figure it out on their own. Should I help them or should I let them figure it out on their own? If so, how long before I step in?

The Struggle Moments; How To Help

At first glance it would appear as though there are two ways to deal with piano student “struggle moments”. 1) Jump in immediately to “rescue” them and feed them the correction or 2) Leave them to their own devices and only assist once it becomes clear that they will not find the correct answer.

There is a 3rd option, however, and it has to do with what happens before the struggle moment occurs.

Pre-emptive Struggle Striking

Before any of my piano students even touch a single key for a new piece, we spend a great deal of time taking it apart and talking about it from a theory perspective first. Remember, theory doesn’t need to be boring (and here’s a great activity as proof!) Here’s how:

1) Piano Piece Scavenger Hunts – Arm your piano students with a set of colorful markers and send them on a scavenger hunt on their page. Ask “Can you find all of the intervals of a 3rd and color them green?” or “Can you find all of the notes that are affected by the key signature and circle them?” or “Can you find all of the measures where the F# repeats?” etc.

2) Pattern Blocks – Help your students to discover how pieces are made up of patterns that repeat. Most pieces in method books are built from 2-3 different blocks of material that repeat. If you circle each of those blocks in a color to show which are the same, then you can spend time learning and drilling just those small parts of each piece before you put the whole thing together (“Play me a green circle. Now, play me a pink circle. Now play me a green circle followed by a pink circle.” etc.)

3) Tricky Bits – Help your student to identify what they believe to be the “hardest” part of the piece. In method book pieces there is usually a measure or two (or an entire line) of music that is slightly different than the rest of the patterns, or that you can tell will require some more coordination than other parts. Go to that first, take it apart, discuss any patterns you can find within that section (for example, “Look! The left hand is really only moving between E and G”) and teach it until they can play it comfortably. Without doing this, you’ll end up with a part they are cautious about or that always causes a stumble.

Struggle Moments Be Gone!

If you approach pieces in this way then it’s less likely that your students will have struggle moments because their whole piece will “make sense” to them. Now, if they need help, you can assist in a way that continues your teaching. Instead of “That note is D”, you can use language like “Remember this measure is the same as the one you’ve just played” or “What was the pattern for this section?” or “Why is that note circled in green?”. This means that your help is actually giving them strategies they’ll need to play this piece at home, rather than just giving them the answer. Feeding your students the notes as they play gets them through the piece in the lesson, but it doesn’t give them the tools they need to do it without you.

Struggle Moments Don’t Build Character

I always err on the side of not leaving my students feeling uncomfortable or inadequate ever. That’s my style as a piano teacher – I prefer to use music as a self-esteem building tool. As someone who understands anxious children, I know that their silence in these struggle moments are not because they are quietly figuring it out on their own; it’s because they’re nervous to give you the wrong answer and are internally fretting. Not a lot of learning is happening in these moments, and as a teacher it’s my job to cultivate learning moments. If there is ever a time my students need help, I’m there to assist; but in a meaningful and “teachable-moment” way.

10 Responses to You Know That Awkward Moment Before They Break Down In Tears?…

Have you ever had students with high anxiety? I have been working with a bright young lady who melts if she makes more than one mistake. It’s exacerbated because she is so busy that she seldom practices more than three times a week. I’ve suggested many times to the parent that she seems over booked but the mom and daughter don’t want to drop anything from her schedule. So I worry and assign her only two or three things per week and plan on her being able to handle about half of it though sometimes she can do all of it. It’s so sad how stressed she gets yet how tightly she clings to continuing lessons.

Hi Tami – Yes, I’ve had many students with high anxiety (and many who have behaviour issues that are related to high anxiety as well). I’m guessing your particular student is so invested in lessons because she feels safe with you – you are likely already creating a very supportive environment. In terms of her being unable to practice enough at home to feel successful in lessons – try reading this blog post we wrote a while ago outlining strategies for dealing with overscheduled piano students. It might help in your situation. I think you’re likely already doing many of them – but maybe try only assigning what you know without a doubt she can accomplish. Highly sensitive kids feel a sense of failure if they can’t do everything you ask of them. She may be fretting about that one part of that one piece that you gave her (knowing she might not get to it) but it could be causing her anxiety because she may feel as though you do expect her to get to it. I always empathize for these “busy” kids – it’s often not their fault… they truly don’t have time in their day to spend the time at the piano they need to, but it’s the child who ends up dealing with the feelings inadequacy come lesson time. These anxious feelings spill over to other parts of their lesson and can make it difficult to know what they do and do not grasp. Kudos to you for being invested and caring enough to help her figure this out 🙂

I have a student who is high anxiety — one who has been with me several years. I have to be alert to when she is starting to lose it. Then we stop and change tasks for a bit. When she has settled herself we come back go the first task, talk about what happened, and take a fresh start. Often she is just frustrated with herself.

Those are great ideas, but what do you do when you encounter a struggle moment that you don’t expect? For example, when you look at a passage and it’s something the student has done before (i.e. a skip followed by a step), yet when she tries to play it, it might as well have been a Mozart concerto? And you really can’t figure out why she’s struggling? Or do you never encounter this?

How do you know just what to write just when I need it??!! Had this happen last night, last lesson of the day after a trying week. This poor girl was trying to play the first line of Silent Night. I swear it was like she had never seen a piano keyboard before. She’s normally ok, but she’s always played in c position with fingers in place, so this piece starts with finger 3 on G. I think it completely threw her off. She stared at the music stared at the keys…and I almost lost it. BUT, I remembered your advice and gave her an assignment of drawing a keyboard then making a piece of art out of it. We’ll see if it works. Thanks for your ideas!!

I cannot thank you enough for all your wisdom and expertise. I am like a sponge soaking up all your suggestions and strategies for better piano teaching. I have taught for many years and you have energized my teaching and future teaching goals through your articles.
Thank you so much!

I think you have outlined some good strategies and ideas here, though I would have shown a tad more sensitivity and professionalism when choosing your title. Seems as though you are making light of and mocking those who may have moments of weakness or vulnerability. These moments do happen in lessons, and whether you are armed with strategies or not, our students need us to be kind, understanding, compassionate and supportive. That’s how you build a long lasting, trusting relationship and rapport.

Sorry Tamara if this was your interpretation. As regular readers know our philosophy revolves around being “kind, understanding, compassionate, and supportive” and the best interests of our students and our readers’ students is always our number one priority. The title was not meant to be mocking in nature but merely a light-hearted way of introducing the topic to teachers… not students. The rest of the blog post is devoted entirely to helping kids deal with these moments of vulnerability. The title was written simply in fun… we never try to take ourselves too seriously.

As a regular reader, I can testify that all of your posts are sensitive to both students (in case they are reading) and teachers (your audience.) I love your sense of humor and fun! Thanks again for an amazing article!