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Raising Confident, Happy Kids

Friday, February 17, 2012

By Izzy WoodsWhen raising our kids, it’s important to help
them become content and confident with their own bodies, personalities and
everything about themselves. This sounds like a huge task but it doesn’t need
to be, we just need to be good parents and then they’ll soon realize they’re
good people too.

Confidence is a quality which everybody wants
their kids to embody but we don’t want arrogant, spoilt children so it’s hard
to find a happy medium. Spoiling our kids is never a good idea, so even though
you want to buy all the best designer baby
clothes, expensive toys and treats, this does our kids no good in the long
run. There are a few simple measures you can keep in mind when helping your
kids to reach their true potential, be happy and confidence in themselves.

Offer encouragement, not praise

Praising your kids is a good idea in some
senses, especially when they’re learning new skills when they’re very young but
as they grow older, encouragement is much more valuable and important. Praising
an A grade report card or top recital performance is not always a great idea as
it can lead to fostering anxiety and stress for the next occasion. Instead, you
should congratulate and encourage, offering congratulations for the success and
reminding exactly how much all the effort they put in was worth. It doesn’t
matter if they get an A grade or a D grade as long as you know they’ve tried
their hardest.

Break Down Difficult Problems

It can be really overwhelming when your kids
start coming home with their first homework tasks and assignments. Spelling
lists and math worksheets can be particular sources of anxiety as they seem
like a lot of work. As a mom or dad, you can offer a helping hand by showing
them how to break down the task into smaller, easy to manage blocks. By
breaking the task into blocks, your kids can learn that actually, what seemed
like a hard and near impossible task is actually really doable and they can be
proud of their work.

Accept Accept Accept

It goes without saying that every child is
different and accepting those differences is key to helping children become
their true, happy and confident selves. You may have a little girl who prefers
dinosaurs to dollies or a shy little boy who doesn’t want to play sports, if
this is so, embrace their talents. If they’re quiet or shy, this doesn't necessarily mean they’re low in confidence, it just means they make friends in
a different way. Pushing your children towards situations that make them
uncomfortable is only going to make it worse for them and make them unhappy.

Treat Mistakes as Stepping Stones

Everybody makes mistakes and your kids are no
different. Rather than being reproachful when a mistake is made, talk to your
kids. Talk through what’s happened and how they can do it differently next
time. The worst thing you can do is make them feel bad or guilty for something
like spilling a drink. Rather than shouting or admonishing them, show them
exactly how to tidy it up and how to be responsible for their actions. Taking
responsibility for one’s own actions is a really big step in growing up and
accepting ourselves as we are.

Embrace Independence

Embracing your kids’ independence can be a
difficult step. No one wants their babies to grow up but it is a fact of life
and if you embrace your kids trying out new things, they’ll have more
confidence in their decisions and actions. As soon as your child reaches an
appropriate age to dress themselves, brush their own teeth or toast their own
breakfast, let them do it. This sense of independence will help bolster up
confidence and pride in their abilities. Always give them the opportunity to
try out something new and even if the task seems a step too far, give them a chance
to try.

Be a role model

Helping your child become a confident and
happy individual is partially down to you as parents, so, if you’re not
confident or happy in yourself you can’t expect that from your kids. You need
to exercise all the same points in your own life, accepting your own mistakes
and avoiding admonishing yourself if you burn dinner or break a mug. Negative
language, even directed at yourself, will rub off on your kids.

Everybody wants their kids to be happy, well
rounded people and to achieve this, we need to treat them in a positive, adult
manner so they can develop into the best that they can be.

--Izzy Woods is a full time writer and researcher who has recently moved to London, who specializes in parenting, lifestyle, and organic beauty writing. She has a young family who she enjoys spending all her spare time with.When she's not spending time with her kids, she loves nothing more than practicing aerobics and yoga.

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