life has been weird so far.

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creep-stalkering.

Sometimes being unbelievably creepy has its benefits. Okay, rarely. But the point is, it totally does. That’s how I’ve gotten to meet some really cool people. People who have nicer names for me than “stalker”, even though if it were a normal person I would totally be arrested. I’m of course talking about celebrities.

There are many, many tricks to the trade. One doesn’t become a successful creep overnight. Anyone can be creepy and a failure. Some of us have a gift. That being said, each celebrity is different. Depending on how famous they are, their security might not let you get close to them. Or, they’ll be escorted right to you. The most important skill is patience, followed by thinking quickly on your feet. Being charming doesn’t hurt either.

If you’re reading at this point, please come see me to collect your medal. You’ve earned it. If you wanna hear about what any of the people I’ve met are like, be sure to ask. I’ll talk about any of them. Most of them were total bitches so they’re good stories.