Uma Thurman Gears Up for a BANGIN’ 2010 with Robert Pattinson

UMA THURMAN is as beautiful and timeless as a Hollywood star gets. Named for a Hindu goddess, Thurman turns 40 in April, and while that’s long past the expiration date for most actresses, the six-foot-tall platinum blonde is at the top of her game. Thurman has a number of films in the works this year, including the President’s Weekend opening of the much-anticipated fantastical film adaptation of Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, as well as Ceremony—directed by Max Winkler (“He’s the Fonz’s son and incredibly talented!” gushes Thurman)—Eloise in Paris, Bel Ami with Robert Pattinson and a third installment of the Kill Bill series.

Thurman’s hyper-intelligence comes from her Buddhistscholar father, Robert Thurman, and her incredible and exotic looks are care of her European model mother, Nena. Off camera she spends time lending support to Room to Grow, a nonprofit that helps infants born into poverty.

**Read the interview and our interpretation of her revelations *snicker* after the jump!

UMA THURMAN: It was actually a very short shoot for me. It’s a huge, beautifully done adventure story full of live action and effects. It was shot in Vancouver, and I have one wonderful scene, and then I’m swiftly beheaded. My head is dragged around throughout the movie. I saw the sort of semi-animation of me with a head full of snakes, and it was creepy and horrible looking.

UT: When we were doing a rehearsal they brought in a box of huge snakes, and I experienced them up close and personal. I let a lot of them crawl all over me. I saw exactly how hellish [Medusa’s] curse was. It was pretty intense.

LAC: What’s special about your upcoming film Bel Ami besides Robert Pattinson, who is so big right now, being your costar?

UT: He is a big star right now. I’m excited because the film is a classical, technical piece of work, and it’s beautiful. It’s a bit of bedroom drama. It’s a romance between Rob and a number of Parisian housewives.

COUGARIZATIONS:

MRP: He’s ONLY the hottest guy in Hollywood right now, and I’m going to get paid to make out with him. My agent did me a SOLID getting me this gig.

MPWM:The only reason this movie is going to make it to the big screen is because Rob’s beautiful and screwable. I get to screw him senseless in the movie but I have to share – a lot. But I’m okay with that. I’ll do anything to dry hump Robert Pattinson.

JAG:Like most cougars I wanna bang Rob senseless. Plus I get the added bonus of riding Rob, I mean riding Rob’s coat tails to get a boost for my career.

TBY:It’s going to be a beautiful film, full of amazing visuals and direction. Basically, we’re capitalizing on the fact that Rob is hot and the entire female population wants to see him play a huge man-whore.

LAC: And you’re one of the love interests?

UT: I end up marrying him, but there are some twists. My daughter is like, “Mom, why do you keep getting these roles where you’re getting younger men?” And I said, “Well at least I don’t do it in real life.”

COUGARIZATIONS:

MRP: Yes, my character is a love interest. My hump scenes will be expertly conducted, and I’ve mastered the non-stop roll over, ifyaknowwhatimean. Those eyes, that hair, the jaw…. *blushes* A leg hitch has no place in a real woman’s bedroom. I’ll be the savior to the 20-30 something TwiHard crowd.

MPWM: When my daughter asked me why I keep taking on movies with younger men I said, “Don’t worry honey – I’m doing this for you. Just you wait. Life will imitate art and when the movie’s done I’ll be bringing home Robert fucking Pattinson to sparkle for you – just like in the movies.”

JAG: In the movie, I’m a h00r, he’s a h00r, its a Bang fest! I’m gonna be all over RPattz like a stripper on a pole and if he rejects me I’ll just fall back on my “I don’t go for younger men” line. I gots it covered.

TBY: He marries me but can’t keep it in his pants. With all of these older women/younger men roles I’ve played lately, my daughter is waiting for me to bring home a High schooler.

LAC: You won a Golden Globe for your acting in Hysterical Blindness, the first film you produced. Were you surprised by that acknowledgement?

UT: I was completely surprised. So was everyone else because I had a nightmare trying to get it off the ground because no one thought I should be playing the part. No one thought it would be realistic. I guess no one thought I could act or that I was a person who has ever cried.

LAC: What’s your New Year’s resolution?

UT: It’s my New Year’s resolution every year to be more organized. Be more helpful. Contribute more. Go to the gym, and watch more television. Those are the areas I’m always working on. Stop beating your head against a wall.

LAC: What inspires you?

UT: The sun inspires me; the fact that it sets for us. Children inspire me. People who carry hope in the face of any type of challenge, disappointment or devastation. Everybody is being challenged and tested right now in this country, and some people are changing as a result. That’s what I’m trying to do.

LAC: What do you do to support that?

UT: I don’t do enough. I try to help others. The only thing I’ve been involved with since its onset is Room to Grow. The great thing about their model is that it’s a self-sustaining thing from its own community; it’s those-who-have helping those-who-have-less. Part of the reason it was created was because a lot of children below the poverty line aren’t able to access resources until they hit school age. Early intervention is everything as far as getting someone off to a decent life.

LAC: What do you love about LA?

UT: What I love about LA are a number of people, first and foremost. The ocean. It’s the home of the business I’ve given my life to, so it’s always an interesting place for me to go creatively. It represents a lot of fun to me. It can be a little stressful, just because it’s very work centered. There’s great food, and the lifestyle here is very supportive of well-being, and I like that.

LAC: You’re single again. Maybe a new man in the new decade?

UT: I feel very optimistic about the next decade. I’m just thinking about a new year.

I just hope that Rob gets rid of the “bad macaroni salad” look on his face in the movies Twilight, Haunted Airman, and Little Ashes he just has this look like he’s just holding it in ready to rip. Hope he can smile for once.

I’m actually a little disappointed with the casting decisions (besides ROB, of course!)))) I just can’t see him with any of these women. I’m still waiting on Rachel McAdams to get on board, or Scarlet Johansen (sp?) But ya know, who really cares who he’s bangin??? As long as we get to watch him in action, huh? YUM!

thanks so much hoors for explaining to me what she was really saying:) I know .. it’s all about the banging and hot steamy scenes. Some people are even battering to read the book the movie is based on ( LOL ) like that matters… who f***ing cares about that:) we just want ROB naked!!! BTW … UMA should be thankful that she can actually share Rob’s bed ?? don’t act like you don’t want it? once again .. thanks
for the translation, you h00rs rock:)