Vanilla sex is a term that refers to what a society considers to be standard, traditional or normal sex. Different cultures, subcultures, and individuals have different ideas about what constitutes vanilla sex, so 'vanilla' has no direct meaning other than in relationship to the alternate under discussion. Often it is interpreted as sex that does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink[wipi], or fetish activities. Examples of the opposite of vanilla therefore could be fetish, 24/7 slavery, or edgeplay[wipi]. Anything that is not vanilla might be described as kinky sex[wipi].

Among homosexual men it sometimes implies that the activity is non-insertive (i.e. intercrural intercourse[wipi], manual stimulation[wp], frottage[wipi] etc.).

Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position[wp].

The term 'vanilla' derives from the use of vanilla extract as the most popular flavoring for ice cream, and by extension meaning 'plain' or 'conventional'.

Neapolitan is a term proposed to describe the sex life of a person that enjoys "vanilla sex" as well as other "flavours" of sex, such as BDSM. This is presumably coined in reference to Neapolitan ice cream, which has layers of different colours, including a layer of vanilla flavour, rather than being a reference to the inhabitants of Naples.

Similarly, vanilla clothing refers to conventional, non-fetish clothing. Its definition has varied over time; for example, much PVC clothing would now be deemed vanilla.[1]

Vanilla refers to what a society considers to be standard or normal sex. Often it is interpreted as sex that does not involve such elements as BDSM, kink[saw], or fetish activities.

What is meant by vanilla depends on the person who uses the term and the context: Among heterosexual couples in the Western world, vanilla sex often refers to the missionary position. Among homosexual men the same term sometimes implies that the activity is non-insertive. One spouse may use it to refer to her/his spouse who doesn't care to participate in such unconventional sexual activities.

The term vanilla derives from the use of vanilla extract as the basic flavoring for ice cream, and by extension meaning "plain" or "conventional". Thus, vanilla is sometimes used as an insult to describe someone who is overly conventional or unwilling to take risks, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts.[2]