Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I would like to think that my family and I are not the only people in the world that receive more than their share of the worlds injustices. Not that I want other people to suffer in constant misery as we do, I just need to know we aren't alone.

Monday, June 29, 2009

I am so tired today! Whatever day "today" is. Working 7 days a week is starting to really take it's toll on me. It could be Saturday and I wouldn't know it. It is difficult to tell what day it is when you do exactly the same thing day in, day out. I do know that I have no motivation this afternoon--it doesn't help that it is about 80 degrees in my office either. If I could find a comfy place to lay my head on my desk I would love to take a nap. Unfortunately, the desk is covered with a computer, printer, signs, pens, papers, pamphlets, etc. I should be creating next weeks schedule but right now my brain can't think that far ahead.

On top of that I am so homesick for Colorado!! I made the serious mistake of going to the city newspaper for the place we moved from and reading all the local news. Then I went and looked through the "Best Photo's of 2008" for the area. Beautiful views of Colorado National Monument, the Uncompaghre plateau, Grand Mesa, the valley.........I just sat here swallowing hard and fighting back the tears.

It is so hard to look back and say, "We REALLY should have thought this decision through better." I had such high hopes that moving here would be good for us and instead I don't think that a worse decision could have been made. HoneyBunny's health problems have increased to the point that I am at a loss as to what to do. So, the main reason for moving here--to get him better--is the most obvious mistake in the decision. I feel like I am living in a nightmare.

Of course the more tired I am the worse EVERYTHING is, the more depressed I get, the more hopeless I feel, the more irritable I am, the more unhappy I am, etc. In fact, I am quickly approaching the "I don't recommend talking to/bothering her" stage.

I talked to my friend in Colorado over the weekend and she thinks that my biggest problem is that I haven't had time to do ANY knitting. She said that once the 4th of July is over and I can quit working 60-70 hour weeks I will be able to do some knitting again. That will help me feel much better.

It does sound like a lovely idea.....that last sock project I started puts me right into heaven. A beautiful shifting shade of green and some absolutely divine needles from Lanturn Moon. There is something really special about those needles! They are the ebony wooden needles. I am not a fan of wooden needles, never have been, because they are so slow and the yarn sticks to them. Not these! They are smooth as glass with amazingly sharp point tips. And the feel.......wow! I don't WANT to knit fast. Knitting with these needles is like eating really good chocolate mousse--you want to eat tiny spoonfuls and smooth it around in your mouth really slow so that you can enjoy every single moment of every single bite. It's a euphoric moment that you don't want to end------ever.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

This is what happens when you get a full-time "plus" job. I haven't had two seconds to do anything for.......well, since my last post.

A day or two after my last post I got a job offer to be the store manager for a fireworks store. Here in Wyoming fireworks is big business and the stores stay open year round. The store is brand new. The original store burnt to the ground last August. I have heard that it was quite the event. Some kids decided they needed a distraction while they robbed some stores in town. They broke in, poured gasoline up and down the aisles then lit a match. The kid who did that barely made it out before the fumes, fireworks, and gasoline exploded. The building burned for days.

Anyway, so my store is the new one standing on the same foundation as the old one. It's nice, but it has been so crazy putting it together, hiring employees, travelling to Cheyenne for a training seminar, pricing, inventory, etc, etc. I worked for three weeks, 10 and 12 hours days, without a day off. It was exhausting! I am still working about 45 hours a week. However, I found out today that beginning next week I will be back to working 7 days a week until after the fourth of July. Oh goody! (lots of heavy sarcasim inflected here).

Knitting? No knitting, no yarn, NO FUN! All these great new patterns I had just picked up to occupy my hours of babysitting the motel are sitting collecting dust on the shelf. BOO HOO HOO! I keep staring at them, looking through the books over a quick breakfast, and wishing I had more time for them.

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