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Dupage mamas

Friday, September 25, 2009

My children love to pretend. Love it. They could spend their entire day in a magical world of princesses, race cars, trains, princes, dragons, and dinosaurs- all together- intertwined with a plot and a sub-plot etc.

I get don't. I get bored. I have no interest in playing their games or being all excited over a monkey. 'oh look a monkey- yep it is still a monkey.' This makes me feel guilty. Because I force myself to play in their land and I am afraid my lack of enthusiasm carries through. Playing sometimes is literally painful- I'll get a headache- I get exhausted- my mind just does not want to engage that way.

My preferred activity? reading, crafts, sports, running- things that are quiet and not so intensive. Sometimes when I hear 'mama' called over and over again I want to scream or cry or hide or run away.

It makes me sad sometimes that their enthusiasm is wasted on me- working up the energy to engage sometimes is too much. I am willing to admit I am jealous of moms who can do this tirelessly. I guess it all comes down to embracing our differences. As independent and social as Princess is as snuggly and cuddly as Peas is, as enthusiastic and energetic as Stinky is- we all have our personalities and our quirks.

This is not to say I have a bad imagination- just that- it functions differently- I can loose myself in a book in a heartbeat- be there with the characters- loose myself in thought on a run- but in a pretend world I can't seem to.