A footy club’s bizarre new rule

The Goodna Goannas rugby league team has implemented a bizarre rule for the new season.

“Anyone mentioning the ‘T’ word gets an automatic one-game suspension and compulsory nudie run,” explained club president Garry Wade. “I don’t care if you’re the A Grade gun or a D Grade bency, no exceptions!”

Mr Wade’s strict new rule came after a recent trial game.

“The A and B Grade boys were celebrating a nice win back at the clubhouse. Eventually, things got heated between two of the A boys, chairs got thrown, beers were spilt, I had to step in. When I found out who they were arguing about, I was livid. That orange bastard has f***** over too many people already, he’s not taking my Goanna boys as well!”

The club previously had an unspoken rule of no religion or politics in the clubhouse.

“My boys are pretty good with that no religion/politics rule, even when they’re on the piss after a big game, but that buffoon just riles everyone up, I’d rather not take the risk.”

With behaviour on the improve (the original offenders have served their ban and done the nudie run), Wade offered a long-term sweetener.

“If we have more wins – across all grades – than mentions of him, I’m shouting the boys a trip to Bali in October.”