Why You Should Live Alone at Least Once in Your Life

Living alone can get a bad rep. Science doesn't help: A study out of the University of California at Berkeley found that living alone increases mortality in older people due to lack of social contact. Finnish researchers confirmed that flying solo can up the likelihood of an alcohol-related death. OK fine, I get it: If you live alone and never go out, or talk to people, or develop relationships, that can have some serious negative consequences. But brush aside the image of you, sitting in front of a pizza for one, trying to talk to it like that volleyball in Castaway, fading away slowly, and snap into the reality. Which is, of course, that living alone is awesome, and every woman should do it—at least for a little while. Everything in here is mine. That's what I thought to myself when I moved into my own place over five years ago. I had just moved out of an apartment where I had been living with a boyfriend—more accurately, an ex boyfriend, hence the move—and I was filled with relief. Being in my own apartment gave me a physical space where I could reimagine my whole life, on only my terms.

Living alone can get a bad rep. Science doesn't help: A study out of the University of California at Berkeley found that living alone increases mortality in older people due to lack of social contact. Finnish researchers confirmed that flying solo can up the likelihood of an alcohol-related death. OK fine, I get it: If you live alone and never go out, or talk to people, or develop relationships, that can have some serious negative consequences. But brush aside the image of you, sitting in front of a pizza for one, trying to talk to it like that volleyball in Castaway, fading away slowly, and snap into the reality. Which is, of course, that living alone is awesome, and every woman should do it—at least for a little while.

Everything in here is mine. That's what I thought to myself when I moved into my own place over five years ago. I had just moved out of an apartment where I had been living with a boyfriend—more accurately, an ex boyfriend, hence the move—and I was filled with relief. Being in my own apartment gave me a physical space where I could reimagine my whole life, on only my terms. I framed black-and-white photos of the people I loved most and put them on my bookshelf, because that made me happy. I filled the fridge with healthy-ish food and didn't have to make room for someone's six-pack or weird-smelling takeout. I stayed up late working on a passion project, not having to worry if my Joni Mitchell Pandora station was playing too loud, and spread out in my bed after—right smack in the middle—exhausted and fulfilled.

I was the queen of my own 400-square-foot-castle for three years, and looking back, I can see that that short stretch of time was crucially important to establishing my independence. It started with small things: I negotiated my rent on my own, created a household budget (for one!) on my own, hashed out a savings plan on my own. I signed up for half-marathons, and actually ran them. I tried hot yoga, and hated it, but whatever, I tried it. And then, the results had a bigger payoff: I put in late hours at work, because I didn't have anyone asking me "Will you be home for dinner?" and got promoted. I met a guy on one of many fun, little dates, and he turned out to be the love of my life. I also got gutsier: I traveled abroad alone, several times, without thinking twice about it.

Could those things have happened had I lived with someone else? Probably. But never in such a short amount of time. When we live with other people—a boyfriend, a roommate, some random person off Craigslist—we have to make space for them, accommodate them. At the most basic level, we have to consider them, and that takes time and energy that could be spent on ourselves. If this sounds selfish, it's because it is. But why does it have to be a bad thing to put ourselves first sometimes? What's so wrong with that? Besides, there are lots of little perks. When you live alone, you can:

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Stick to your lifestyle changes. Wake up earlier! Eat healthier! Work out more! These are all great things, but they're not always easy to stick with. And the only thing harder than getting to the gym on a Saturday morning is getting to the gym on a Saturday morning when the person you are living with is making bacon and Bloody Marys in your kitchen.

Design your space. Your entire space. Your stuff. Your paint colors. Your throw pillows. There is no putting up with the twice-owned couch your roommate refuses to toss, or a framed poster of a kitten playing with yarn hanging above said couch.

Know that the hair you're scooping from the drain is yours. I think this point speaks for itself.

Be as clean or as messy as you want to be. You never have to leave a passive-aggressive Post-it next to the sink that reads, "These are your dishes. DO YOUR DISHES." Also, you never have to read someone else's Post-its about leaving your towel on the floor. Win-win.

Never worry about someone misplacing your mail. Is it in your mailbox? Guess what—it's for you!

__Practice your Oscar/Grammy/Nobel Prize acceptance speech without getting caught.__Hey, one can never be too prepared.

Have you ever lived alone, or do you live alone now? What are some of the perks? Do you think there's also a downside? Share in the comments!