not that anyone is surprised

Teevee MILF Learned Hard, Gross Way Not To Sleep With NY Pols

Sirens woo woo BREAKING NEWS update: did you know that 1960s New York City was dirty, and Hollywood actresses have sex? In a detail from her upcoming book that was surely picked at random, not to promote the book whatsoever, Florence “Mrs. Brady” Henderson reveals that she got the crotch crickets this one time she sexed New York City mayor John “Poor Man’s Roger Moore” Lindsay, and it was as foul and sleazy as you would expect. Typical dirty New York liberals:

“I was lonely. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do,” writes Henderson, who was married at the time.

Henderson returned home after the romp. When she awoke the next morning, she spotted “little black things” crawling over her body.

Henderson immediately called a doctor who helped her get rid of the tiny parasitic insects also known as pubic lice.

Lindsay, ever the politician, sent Henderson flowers and an apology letter.

Mrs. Brady getting crabs from Mayor Lindsay is just like when the Khmer Rouge forced the people to leave the cities and live in the countryside, resulting in the deaths of between 1.4 and 2.2 million.
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Michele Bachmann has the kind of crabs that burrow into your brain, obviously.

hagajim

I wonder if Florence got the crabs before or after she banged Greg.

Lucidamente1

Oh yeah, well JFK gave Angie Dickinson the cooties.

4tehlulz_lite

I…really don't need to know this.

BloviateMe

The crabs reported they woke up with a case of the Hendersons.

I don't know who to believe anymore.

DaRooster

Hairy and the Henderson…

OhNoGuy

Apparently you can cure pubic lice but not public lice.

BaldarTFlagass

Helpful hint, if you ever have to use the crab cream, make sure you read the directions. DO NOT just apply to the "affected area." Although they prefer the coziness of the groin area, they are not averse to immigrating to the more-lightly-but-still-forested regions of the torso when chemical weapons are brought to bear, as I learned to my regret during my first experience with the critters after my ship left Subic Bay lo these 30 years ago. Thank Christ I caught on before they got to the Viking beard I had going back then.

Billmatic

I'm going to guess Navy because no branch of the armed forces is more depraved.

BaldarTFlagass

Join the Navy and Learn a Trade!! Ha! Sleazery and debauchery amongst the various fleshpots of the Orient was what attracted me in my dissipated youth, certainly not the technical training. Who gives a fuck about running a lathe?

catchtheflava

Maybe the crabs did, but I guess we'll never know now.

If you had kept them around for long enough, maybe you could have gotten them to qualify as dependents. Hellooo, tax-free money.

It's quite possible to get'em without having any fun. If your shipmate in the next bunk has them, they may jump to your bunk, too!

fartknocker

Florence was nothing but a cock tease but I did fantasize about lesbian lovefest with her and the Golden Girls. Raquel Welch my friends is definately a MILF.

Letting the fapping begin.

ingloriousbytch

Careful Florence. Levi Johnston may invite you over for wine coolers now that he knows you're easy.

bagofmice

That helps.

BaldarTFlagass

I must say that I have a newfound respect for Mayor Lindsay now. Oh, Mrs. Brady!!

dr_giraud

the moral of this story? the moral of this song? simply that one should never be where one does not belong

which is anywhere, banging a Republican

flamingpdog

If Lindsay were alive today, he wouldn't even be a Blue Dog DINO, much less a RINO.

littlebigdaddy

Believe me, delivered flowers solve EVERY problem with teh ladies!

Biel_ze_Bubba

Tiger Woods, take note.

HistoriCat

Does FTD have a "sorry I gave you an STD" bouquet?
Does 1800FLOWERS have a "oops – forgot to tell you I'm married and have 4 kids" arrangement?

CthuNHu

For a devil strumpet?

V572 [SSAN]

A lot of people don't know the correct treatment for genital lice. It is as follows:

1. Get an ice pick, a straight razor, a can of lighter fluid and a lighter.
2. Shave off half your pubic hair.
3. Douse the remaining pubic hair with the lighter fluid, and light it with the lighter.
4. When the lice run out into the shaved area, stab them with the ice pick.

Brady' Bunch porn? Ha, surely you jest. Amateur Hour at best. Consider that at the same time, Linc (a Negro, btw) was poking Julie (strung out, btw) who was strap-on poking Pete (ookie that way, btw) on the Mod Squad, and that the incest within the Partridge Family is so lurid and criminal that it's best not raised even here.

Papa_Uniform

Jeez. Florence remembers who she did in the sixties??

ttommyunger

Crabs, Florence? Is that the best you can come up with? Clapp or GTFO!

Next thing you know, we'll hear about Cloris Leachman doing it with Mad Sam Yorty back in the day.

OhNoGuy

Even so, YOU should have sent HER a thank you letter. Ingrate.

crybabyboehner

Flo Ho?

Negropolis

You see? Yet further proof that our elders were some klassy bastards. Well, at least more klassy than we are. I mean, to give both the gift of crabs and apology flowers? How selfless. Us kids, today, will give your skanky asses a shout-out on Facebook, and that's about it.