Me: Scientist, why did so much stuff happen to me today?Scientist: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late.Scientist: Yes.
Me: My car took forever to start.Scientist: Okay.
Me: At lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait.Scientist: Huummm.
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.Scientist: All right.
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home, I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn’t work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did that happen?

Scientist: Let me see, you woke up late because you've been staying up until 4am the last three nights playing minecraft and masturbating to My little pony Porn.
Me: (ashamed)Scientist: And your car wouldn't start because you bought it second hand and haven't had any maintainence done on it for the past four years.
Me: (humbled) OH!Scientist: The person who made your sandwich today was hung-over and high becuase they work a shitty job with no benefits that they are far over qualified for, because the economy tanked for a number of reasons. (At least you have a job right?)
Me: (embarrassed) kay.Scientist: Your phone went dead becuase you didn't charge it when the low battery light came on, and the excess power drain caused by recieving a call used the last of the power.
Me: (softly) I see ScientistScientist: Oh and that foot massager, you bought it at Walmart for $5. In order to produce them that cheaply, they have to cut corners on labour and part quality.
Me: I’m sorry Scientist.Scientist: Don’t be sorry, just learn from your mistakes. And stay away from the sandwich guy, he probably doesn't wash his hands.
Me: I will, Thanks Scientist!

Alright I'm all for science being awesome and everything, but I'm pretty sure a scientist is WAY overqualified for this tiny explanation. I think changing scientist to average guy and me to dumbass would suffice.

Don't know how many scientists you know, but most of the people I know with Doctorates are just normal people.
Pretty smart, no doubt, above average. Of course, they are insanely qualified in a specific area, but apart from that, they are just people.

You're right about the 'me' -> 'dumbass' business though, especially in light of how many of the complaints they have are petty, or have obvious explanations.

The sandwich guy is called Max. In his defence, He's a really cool guy, He's just having a shit time at the moment.
What Max needs is a job in his field of expertise (Advertising. It's a tough area to break into...)
What Max doesn't need is some guy getting his panties in a bunch because he "Specifically asked for low fat mayo in my sandwich! Make it again!". Especially because that comes out of his tips.

You know. I'm glad my friends are nothing like you. Regardless of my beliefs they judge me on my actions.

I haves Muslim friend that when I told him, "What if I told you I would never become Muslim?" he replied, "You believe in what you believe and I believe in what I believe. Just don't say anything bad about mine and I won't say anything bad about yours."

And he is nowhere near the violent extremist people make them out to be and nowhere the judgmental and self serving jackass you are.

What? Different because he was Muslim? Ok sure! Last night I was talking to my Christian friend and this is what she told me, "Those who reject all that is god will burn in hell."

So I asked if hell was where she thought I would go? She replied no, she told me even Buddhist who were good people will be considered to go to heaven because they did good things. To reject god does not mean to not believe in him but rather reject goodness. That is what she told me.

You may or may not believe but you still should respect that kind of accepting and cool headed way of thinking.

Maybe if more people like you we're like these people there would've been less people attacking and/retaliating your beliefs.

For real! You just inspired me to look it up. From Wikipedia (the last paragraph under "Character Story"):

Riker was originally scripted as a much more serious, by-the-book officer—by the middle episodes of the first season, however, it was felt that he was too "official", and his character was toned down, and became more of a ladies' man. Although Riker was cleanshaven for the first season, he grew a beard at the start of the second that later would become something of a trademark. Frakes had grown a beard between seasons, and Gene Roddenberry asked him to keep it, as he thought it made Riker look more dignified.

What would a "battle" between angels even mean? And why would it be necessary? Is God omnipotent or not?

Why did you save me from a drunk driver, but not that little kid that was torn in half by a drunk driver a week ago?

You interfered with the causal nature of the Universe to prevent me from losing my job? Why the fuck was Frank out of work for a year? He was a good guy, lost his wife and committed suicide, you prick.

So on and so forth, each one is worse than the last. The people who eat this shit up are just... stupid. There is no other word for it. They are profoundly shallow thinkers. I can't imagine what it's like to go through life with such a superficial resemblance to genuine thought.

Me: God, I understand the Angel fighting death away from me, and saving me. That makes sense, and I thank you for it.

God: You are welcome my child.

Me: I am concerned about the car not starting, to save me from a drunk driving. Instead of me having car problems, why not give the drunk guy car problems. He might have killed himself or someone else.

God: Well I . . .

Me: Also, why did you allow the person that makes my food be sick? Wouldn't it have been easier to have them not be sick, or so sick they stay at home, instead of somehow getting them to mess up my sandwich.

God: I thought . . .

Me: Killing my phone to stop a person from calling me, who would have given false witness? Who's to say they still won't give false witness, they made the call, probably left a voice message.

God: You don't understand what I was . . .

Me: Also, how does ONE electrical device black out my entire home? Did you put me in a home with substandard electrical distribution? One shorted out device plugged into one outlet should only trip ONE breaker, not all of them. That would be one room dark. Heck, you can even have ensure that the QA check on the massager didn't pass, and it was never placed on the store shelf. Either that, have it not be shorted out in the first place.

God: Now listen here . . .

Me: No, you listen. Instead of allowing things to happen, just to make some BS on how you fixed it, and was helping me, how about you strike at the source, and don't have the issues come up in the first place. What you are doing would be like me, being a repair technician, intentionally breaking things, just so there is more to fix, just to justify my employment. It's not right.

Hmm when I think about it more the message about blessings in disguise isn't so bad. But thinking that some cosmic entity is bending over backwards for your spoiled ass is just egotistical and stupid.

Worst when this happens to someone who was acting like a total jackass, catching a lucky break and then acting like they deserved it because they were Christian.

Like one time I was chatting to this Christian girl online and was being told about how 'terrible' how someone I her college project was for suggesting an alternate method to doing so instead of her own way. She argued with her and then made her leave the group.

The next day I talked to her again and found out they didn't go with the original plan at all and actually did something similar to what the girl she kicked out of the group suggested. And then she bragged about how great it was and how awesome it was that she got the last can of a drink she wanted and all because of god.

No thanks to me, no thanks to the rest of her group and didn't even realize that the girl she kicked out was right all along for suggesting it. She was being prideful and then showed wrath, two sins of her own religon I might add, and then acted like she was a good person for acting like a jackass.

When I told her what I thought she responded with, " You are being very rude to me! I thought you were a nice person!" yet another time while beng online I wish I could strangle the person over the Internet.

Cute, and it would be fair, assuming God was like your big daddy in the sky, and not omniscient and omnipotent.

I mean, for one thing, he apparently can't spell out Y-O-U rather than using the letter 'u'.

So... why was the death angel allowed to be there in the first place? And why can't an omnipotent God simply remove the angel with a snap of his fingers, so you wake up one second late and not, y'know, significantly late?

Why not simply remove the alcohol from the drunk driver's system? Poof, insta-sober? Same with the person who's sick, why not simply cure them?

And the phone had to be dead rather than simply dropping that call?

And rather than fixing the foot massager so it didn't short, he breaks it even more?

TIL God is incompetent.

And an asshole. Apparently he's looking out for you, but not everyone else on the road threatened or killed by that drunk driver? After all, he didn't prevent everyone's car from starting, just yours.

Christians believe that Jesus is God via being his son (earthly representation). Thus even though Jesus is a separate individual according to normal definitions, Jesus would still be accurate to be referred to as Lord / God.

I think that was a typo, they meant to say Chris Angel. That's right, Chris Angel the illusionist was standing over his bead ready to kill, but God kicked his ass and sentenced him to perform a crappy show at a crappy casino hotel in Vegas as punishment.

But isn't the angel of death one of God's creations? Why would God create something then try and protect people from it. It's like someone creating a shark/eagle hybrid that can breathe on land, survive under water, can also fly, and while were at it lets make that shit invincible. Now this unstoppable killing machine which was designed to kill starts killing people and the creator gets all butthurt because it's killing people. Also why would God, who is all powerful, not just get rid of the angel of death himself instead of sending one of his own angels to "battle him for your life". I have not seen this one on facebook yet but it is completely illogical from the start.

I'm not trying to argue that a god doesn't exist I'm just saying that anyone trying to use this as an argument that God is amazing is really failing at it seeing as how this all powerful deity had to go out of his way just to keep this guy from getting killed by the world he created and it brings about the question of why not fix everyone else instead of solely focusing on this guy. Why let the driver get drunk? Why let the sandwich maker get sick? Why let the person try to give false witness?

that arises within the limitations of the human mind. Especially that of a theist, who has already started a false presumption with little to know thought. Their idea of how a God would or might be capable of working is naive and simple minded.

Actually. Most of the time it is probably more an issue of comfort zone. People are conditioned from a young age to believe. Therefore, they believe. If not presented with a reason to stop believing, why put forth the effort to stop.

It does raise an interesting point, however. Our (western) modern interpretation of the Christian God owes a lot to the ancient Greek interpretation of Zeus. Yet another thing Christianity stole from earlier religions.