Saturday, May 17, 2014

The Addictions

It was a beautiful day. The time was about 7 in the evening.
The breeze was soothing and gentle. The whiff of the air was relaxing. The Sun had
not set still and there was sufficient light for us to see from our 3rd
floor apartment balcony the ducks and a dozen ducklings wading through the pleasant
community stream. The ducks and ducklings gave tremendous joy each evening. It
was now a family ritual to take in an eyeful of them each evening while we sat
on the balcony for a few minutes. It was astonishing – and in a way
disappointing - to see how fast the ducklings grew.

To enjoy this serene beauty, my wife and I called out to our
3 year-old daughter who was slumped on the couch with the iPad. I remembered
that conversation I had overheard about someone’s grandson teaching his wife about how to use Kindle and how
apprehensive I myself was then about Tontu not being able to do that because
she didn't even have access to the gadgets. Well, she was now quite an expert
with iPad and would have taught my mom quite a lot indeed! But alas, my
call-out when unheeded. The game on that hand-held digital device was much more
addictive to her than the natural beauty surrounding us in the balcony.

Now, who is to blame – if indeed someone needs to be blamed.
Is it us parents, who have made these digital devices handy in the living room
or is it her who has submitted her senses wholeheartedly to the digital world?

The iPad in our house is the most sought-after device.
Sometimes I have felt like having 3 of them so that each of us in the house
could use it at the same time! There was this one time when it fell down from
about 3 feet and the screen went all black. It was like a full stop in the ease
of access to the digital world! But when I googled, I came across this link and boy, were we grateful. A few pats on the back, and lo and behold, it was
back in action. Then a few weeks later, on a hot day on our birthday we had visited a nearby attraction and kept the iPad inside the parked car and when we came back, it was all black again! I then read this article and was shocked to hear at the Genius Bar that I needed to spend $250 to get it replaced! I remember how we mourned for
the loss of all those great pics still in the iPad gallery which were not
backed up. The loss was unbearable. It just showed how attached we had become
to it in less than 30 months. In 2012 we didn't even own it and life was still
beautiful. So, just when we thought all was over, I came across this seemingly brilliant thread and again, lo and behold, after a few kneeling sessions on the iPad, it was
back in action! So much for the “Genius Bar”!

Anyways. Back to our discussion in the balcony. It just got my
thinking back to our own childhood lives and how we used to handle the outburst
of technology. In the mid-90s, the Cable TV had started booming. I was in my
High School and my brother was just getting into college. I must really
appreciate my parents for being bold enough to go with the Cable TV plunge
despite us just getting to the turning point of our academic life. I mean, it
would have been a big decision for them at that point of time. Us being kids
would not have thought much but now that I am a parent I am sure what must have
gone through them then. They would have thought of spending that Rs 200 more
every month and at the same time, it was more like a candy for the children
than anything for themselves. After all, it was more Star TV with English soaps
then than the regional ones that we have now. And at the same time, it was such
an addiction that could have seriously hampered our education. And yet they
went ahead and got it installed, with great confidence in us.

Even now I remember that day in April 1998 when SachinTendulkar was going ballistic against the Australians in Sharjah and I was sitting for my Board exams – an important turning point exam of my
life. I could hardly concentrate on the studies when I knew such an important
match was going right in the living room TV. And it was just not that instance.
There were these Steffi Graf Tennis matches, umpteen just-released movies, MTV,
WWF, Fashion TV and what not! My parents could have so easily got the Cable TV
cut-off just so as to ensure I could not be distracted, just the way many of our
relatives had done.

Many of our relatives had gone the off-air route for years
now just so that their children can be rid off the TV addiction. What a great
sacrifice from parents’ perspective! This was in mid-2000s and at this time
there were great many really interesting regional episodes, something which
used to make the then parents themselves addicted and yet, they had gone ahead and switched
off the TV for good, for the sake of their children’s education.

So, which route is better?

As a parent, keep the ‘addictions’ near your kids and have
enough confidence on your children so as to make them good judges themselves to
know when to stop and when to use

OR

Keep the house completely devoid of ‘addictions’ whatsoever
without even wanting to test if the children can exercise a good control on themselves.

I guess the answer becomes evident when the question is
taken to the next level: When house is the world and ‘addictions’ are anything
in this world to which a man can get addicted to…