Ted Baker dresses up its Fastnet speaker in retro togs

I can remember when it was cool for things to look futuristic. Ghastly times. Everything was all sharp and stabby: you couldn’t turn around in your bus seat without taking someone’s eyes out with your lapels. But Ted Baker Audio's Fastnet speaker does look futuristic; just a different era of futuristic. It’s ‘Calling All Cars’ and ‘Come In, Dick Tracy’ and ‘We Are The Mysterons’. From a time when a portable travel radio was a wonder of transistor technology, a tiny talky box with not a valve resistor in sight.

This is a radio? Nope, the Fastnet is a Bluetooth speaker - but in many ways that makes it a radio, because you can simply access one of myriad streaming apps on your phone to bring the voice of the BBC or Planet Rock or Classic FM to your hotel room. It’s like a futuristic radio, receiving on many channels.

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You can have any colour you like as long as it's black. Or brown, or white, or pink.

Why not just make it a DAB radio? Why do I have to futter about with hotel wi-fi networks and Bluetooth connections? Come now, it’s not as tough as all that. Though you can just plug in your phone using a 3.5mm aux cable, if that makes life a little easier. As for the lack of Wi-Fi, you could have downloaded some of the gigahours of available BBC iPlayer content before your trip. Anyway, we’re getting away from the point, that being that this speaker looks F.A.B.

What does Ted Baker know about audio stuff? Doesn’t he make men’s blouses? You don’t get to be as big as Ted by shoving your proverbial eggs into any old basket. We’re promised that serious audio know-how has gone into the Fastnet (you got the Shipping Forecast thing, yes?) and as soon as we get these silver- and gold-edged beauties into the lab, we’ll test that theory. There’s a range of headphones to go with them, so we’ll be having a right old knees-up. Want one of your very own? You can pick up the Fastnet from 10th June for £200 (RM1,084).