As I drove to work this morning the sun had yet to peek over the horizon, but a smile had already risen on my face. Despite the dark hour, sleepy brain, and still full coffee mug, I felt a joyful energy flowing through my veins. My thoughts came back to my eldest daughter’s giggle, the one that had just recently tickled my ears, and I beamed anew. I realized her sweet spirit had injected itself into my marrow, and I felt rejuvenated by the memory of her smile. What a gift!

Just to let you know, my oldest daughter, still age nine, loves to sleep. In fact, she reminds me of a teenage boy. If we didn’t make her wake she would Rip Van Winkle her life away. Even on school days, she didn’t get up until at least nine or ten, thanks to her homeschool schedule. Yet there she had sat when I opened the bathroom door. After a hot shower I had opened the door to allow the steam to exit, and sitting on the floor, waiting patiently, she smiled underneath sleepy eyes.

This wasn’t the first time my girl had woken up as I got ready, and as I hugged her tight I commented, “I hoped I’d see you.”

It had all started a couple of months ago. My big girl had heard me leaving for work, and she had woken brightly to give me a goodbye hug and kiss. Later that night, when I had returned home, she had exclaimed with conspiratorial glee, “I saw you this morning!”

It was like it had been our secret meeting, something that she as the eldest child could take part in alone, and it became apparent it was a big deal to her. So much so, that she started telling me before bed to wake her in the morning before I left. At first, I tried to let it go. I had whispered her name, and when I didn’t get an answer, gone about my way. I liked the quiet time in the mornings to reflect and pray, and surely she didn’t really want to wake up intentionally at 6:00 am!

Boy, was I wrong. I had to hear all about her disappointment. Then she took to adding to her bedtime prayers, “and let me wake up before Mom goes to work.”

Gulp.

The first morning the Lord answered her prayer, you would have thought He had caused the sun to stand still like He did for Joshua in the Old Testament. She had gushed to me at bedtime about how God had heard her. Spurred by her childlike faith she ended her prayers in the same manner, petitioning the Lord to wake her when I got up.

Well, He did. She woke up, and it seemed to make her so happy, I didn’t tell her not to. It got to where I found myself praying in the shower for God to help her wake up, and I assumed I was praying that prayer for her benefit, but this morning I started to wonder if it wasn’t also for me.

“Bark, bark, bark,” came the sound of our family dog.

She had giggled, holding a hand over her laughing mouth, and I had snickered along with her. That was the scene this morning when we had sat on the bed together before I left for the day. While I pulled on my compression socks she had shared story after story with me, like we were two gossiping girls at the back of the school bus, and the driver, aka dog, had let us know we were getting too loud. As I heard my husband grumble, “be quiet, Lizzie,” I stifled more laughter, and I exchanged amused glances with my daughter. We almost got caught!

As I later drove to work, still feeling the high of giggles and great big hugs, it hit me the absolute gift of these unexpected yet joyful meetings. I had not known I needed them, but now felt myself abundantly grateful for them. I couldn’t believe I had almost brushed off her attempts to meet with me, assuming we could always find a better and more convenient time. I had almost forgotten that one day she wouldn’t remember to pick up the phone and check in with her ole mom, much less get up hours early for daily gab sessions.

I didn’t know when might be our last morning to hug, or lay on the bed together while I played with her hair, neglecting thoughts that I needed to hurry up and get moving. I had grown to adore our morning prayers and hearing her middle-school-age thoughts on life. And I knew I better savor these precious moments while I could. I had to savor the fact that she wanted to spend time with me even more than she wanted to sleep in, and it humbled me to realize I must be pretty darn special in her book. The thought made me smile again.

Then I pondered, “is this how God feels when His children take the extra time to have a conversation with Him?”

All I know is, I’m grateful for this morning. I’m glad I took the time, that I enjoyed the time, and that I recognized that time with those you love is so very precious. Sometimes you might have to carve that much needed time out of your day, whether it’s to wake early, stay up a little late, or curtail your lunch break. I’m certainly glad my daughter felt I was worth it, and I’m blessed to see the gift that arrived this morning in the package of giggles and gal time.

Today I was going through an app that allows me to see pictures I posted on social media from the time I had a smartphone, and as I was swiping left I came across a cherished photo. It was a black and white shot of my firstborn from six years ago, and I felt a bittersweet ache in my heart that got stuck as an emotional lump in my throat. As I gazed at the precious memory my eldest girl walked up.

Y’all, my child has gotten so tall, and when I saw her standing over my lounge chair poolside, in contrast to the tiny, chubby-cheeked babe on my phone, I was struck straight through the heart, as if an arrow representing the swift passage of time had pierced through to my marrow.

The most peculiar part, to me, was that I didn’t remain melancholy over how fast it all goes. Instead I felt a sense of contented joy, like everything was progressing as it should. I had zero regret for the things I should of/could of done, and though I wasn’t claiming a perfect parenting plan, I was pleased with our journey thus far. I didn’t feel so much like it was a cruel, fleeting season, but rather one I was savoring with vigor.

When I first became I mother I realized it was my greatest responsibility and most enjoyable tasking of life. I quickly discovered I wanted nothing more than to leave my nine to five and find a way to mother more. I was blessed at the time to find a position at my hospital where I could work less and be home more with little financial difference. Cause, come on, although a lot of men and/or women desire to see their children more, it doesn’t seem like it can always work out that way. I never took for granted the opportunity I had been afforded to spend time with my children while also working as a bedside nurse.

As life changed and seasons followed suit, I found circumstances altered, but my greatest goal never changed. Here’s what I didn’t want. I didn’t want other people raising my babies. They were my reward, and I didn’t want to hand that prize to another. But more than that, they were my legacy, my responsibility (which I took very seriously), and the ministry God had given me for this particular time of my life. I knew that my largest and most monumental heart desire was to be able to instill in my children the things I had been unaware of until adulthood. I wanted to raise them wholly aware of God’s hand in their life, and I desired to equip them with the wisdom of knowing they were not alone in the battles they faced. I needed them to see firsthand how joy-filled a life serving the Lord could be. I wanted them to have the opportunity to see things it had taken me forty years to discover.

This hefty, utmost knowledge I knew couldn’t be passed along in a thirty minute Sunday School lesson. It was something that must be instilled, but also modeled. It was something I had to walk out, showing them daily, and I wanted to be able to do it. As parents, my husband and I have made sacrifices to maintain our goals. We have downsized and let go of materialistic treasures, in favor of investing in what we consider our Heavenly Treasure. Our babies. To gain time with them we had to let go of the things that stole our time from them. I’m grateful we were given the desire and insight to make this work.

Not that I’ve obtained it yet, like, where I totally want to be, but I can look backwards and see improvement over time. Heck, a mere two-three years ago I was stuck in the hamster wheel too. I was running ragged, overbooking my schedule, over-extending myself, and sadly teaching my children that was normal. We were always going, rushing, and trying to fill commitments that weren’t necessary. Laundry was a chore, grocery shopping grueling, and the supper-time crunch exasperating. Why we call this normal, I’ll never know. I guess because it’s the way it’s always been, but with the addition of everyone critiquing our lives as we narrate them, or coveting how smoothly someone else’s story appears.

Thankfully, I can now proceed without regret, knowing I’m investing the most in what matters most. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on my children’s childhood. I have a ringside seat to their life. We homeschool largely in part because of our desire to not miss the majority of their life. I saw a story recently of schools possibly extending their hours. Can you imagine?!

We found an area of the country where we can work less but make a larger income, and on top of that we found a way to cut down our expenses. It was scary leaving our comfort zones, but totally worth it in the end. As the world gets faster and the focus convoluted, I see more people choosing to do things the way we are doing. Downsizing, minimalizing, and seeking opportunities to focus on family more. I’m thankful we realized it’s okay to step outside of the norm and pursue something different. Almost every day I see people voice their unhappiness with the pace of their life or with the lack of quality time with loved ones.

I guess I would just say to every discontented parent, “you can do it!” If you’re not happy with life, change it. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be worried about what other people think, and don’t be scared to fail. You will never know if your life can improve if you stay stuck in your rut. Break out.

Maybe you’re happy with the way things are. That’s wonderful! But if you’re not consider this post your call to duty. It’s time to invest in what’s important in life, and it’s the people you love. I took care of a patient once who was on his death bed. In pleasant conversation I had told his wife about my life, how I traveled in an RV with my family, homeschooling, working a little, and having fun a lot. She was intrigued and enamored, as most people are, but I’ll never forget her words.

“I wish we had done that.”

You see, they had wanted to travel as a family, but they had waited. They waited until things settled down. They waited until a certain season passed. They waited until Junior finished school. Then they waited until retirement. One month into traveling her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

“It’s too late now,” she had said.

Consider this your wake up call, your sign, if you will. Don’t wait another minute to follow your dreams and spend time doing what you love. You just think there’s no way out, but there’s always another way. It may involve sacrifice, and it might be frightening. People may try and talk you out of it, but I am encouraging you to try anyway. You will never know unless you take that step, and you’ll only regret what you didn’t do.

Woah, stop the presses. Isn’t your child’s education the most important thing there is?! Well, while I’ll agree (as a strong, college educated professional) that education is important, I believe that as a society as a whole we have placed far too much value on it. So it might be better to describe it this way.

Your child’s education isn’t as important as you think.

I was watching TV with my daughters while on vacation when a particular commercial came on the screen. I won’t state the specific company, but it was a well-known educational app that was aimed towards helping children to learn. In fact, once upon a time I subscribed to this educational app for kids. I still thought it was great and really put together well. Props, you know? But the commercial? I always had a problem with them. They fed into the worried parental mind that exists so readily today.

This particular mindset of the modern parent said, “is my child up to speed?”

It was a mindset that was seeped in comparison and anxiety.

It said, “is my child learning fast enough? Are they smart enough? Are they going to be behind?”

So, back to the commercial. This particular one showed an interview with a once-panicked mom.

She states happily, “we were so worried Billy was falling behind! But now he’s learning by leaps and bounds!”

Leaps and bounds. The camera switched over to little Billy playing happily with his tablet. He looked to be about two years old. The only leaping he needed to do was over mud puddles. And the only bounding truly required was towards his favorite playground. He was a toddler, preschooler at the most, and his parents were causing undue anxiety for not only him, but themselves when they kept sweating if a child who couldn’t yet tie his shoes recognized every letter of the alphabet and what sound they made. Just my opinion.

I’ve been there, you see. I’ve been that worried parent, and I did it long enough to come out the other side wiser and more relaxed. I still have a lot to learn about parenting, and I don’t consider myself the know-all, be-all. But my kids are pretty darn happy. That’s good enough for me.

Have you ever noticed how when you rush about trying to get out the door on time that your children fall apart? It’s that way with most things when you push a child beyond what is possible or what they’re ready to handle. I look back at many afternoons at the table, my daughter crying, and me feeling like a terrible mom!

I guess I started to realize the error of my ways a few years ago. I was so anxious about it all. My daughter was in first grade, and she couldn’t read! I mean, she could read her sight words and trudge through some Dr. Suess, but when it came to picking up a book and simply reading without the painful phonics and stumbling pauses, she wasn’t there yet.

Her cousin could read!

Other kids in her homeschool group could read.

It was me, most likely. I was messing my kid up!

As a homeschooling mother, I worried I wasn’t giving my child what she needed. I worried I wasn’t preparing her adequately for the future. I worried it was my fault she couldn’t read!

I pushed harder. She fell apart easier.

School days were often painful, and I realized my child hated reading.

As an avid reader, and an even more passionate writer, the thought of my own flesh and blood not being a book worm like mommy was especially painful. She loved her some science, which my medical field self was proud of, and she zipped through math better than I ever could, but the reading. Painful. Painfully behind.

I sat at the kitchen table going over curriculum, lessons plans, and catalogs for the upcoming school year, and at that moment I realized I was pushing my oldest child too hard. She wasn’t ready to move forward to the next grade. She hadn’t met the milestones she should for reading. Sometimes she hit the mark every time, but it wasn’t consistent. I felt in my honest heart that I needed to hold her back a year.

Y’all, I was crushed. She didn’t care. I explained she would be repeating a grade, and I let her know that her cousin (the same age by a week) would be moving ahead of her. She was fine with it. I slowly followed suit.

See, I thought it was my fault. I thought she was behind. I had set in my mind the particular path her learning should take, and anything other than that seemed like an epic fail!

We live in a world that shows commercials for teaching your baby to read. Ads tote the importance of your child being ahead, and certainly not behind. They talk a lot about ensuring your child’s successful future, as if when they learn their ABC’s will determine if they get into Harvard.

Well, here’s the truth of it. Billy may not get into Harvard. In fact, Billy may not want to go to Harvard. He may not want to attend college at all. And that’s okay! We have fewer tradesmen and blue collar workers than ever before because society has placed such a value on higher education, forgetting that it takes all kinds to make the world go round.

Want to hear the craziest part?! My child wasn’t behind. The only reason she was even in the grade she was in was because I enrolled her in it. As a homeschooling parent I had started her Pre-K early. We had moved on to Kindergarten before her friends in our neighborhood who were the same age. If she had gone to public school she would not have been able to attend Kindergarten when she did, but I had been so excited and determined to teach her. And that’s fine and dandy! But I had to know when to throttle down, when to push her, when to relax and take a breath. I look back now and wish I had that time back. I wish we had played more with toys in the floor, spent more time cuddling and giggling, and less time making her sit at a table and learn how to count to twenty before she could even pronounce the number correctly.

The world she was growing up in said she needed to read by five, but it said nothing of yes ma’am or no sir.

The world she was growing up in said she needed to be involved in as many extracurricular activities as possible to build character, teamwork, and a competitive spirit. It said nothing about the benefit of time with mom and dad, or how much knowledge could be gleaned from sitting on the porch shelling peas with grandma.

The world she was growing up in said the honor roll was a must, but said very little about befriending the quiet girl sitting on the bus alone.

The world we were living in said I was a failure as a parent if my child didn’t keep the same pace as the majority. It said there was only one way to learn, one style, one setting, and one ruler to measure everyone’s success by. It said nothing of individuality, special gifting, unique talent, or how the planet could keep spinning even if your offspring weren’t number one at absolutely everything!

Billy could fall down and be okay.

Billy could make straight A’s, but be a bully.

Billy could hate homework, but still be successful in life.

Sally could have trouble learning to read, but create a symphony that brought people to tears.

Sally could flunk math and still lead a productive, happy life!

Good grades didn’t predict your future, but being a decent human being said a lot.

Being first place wouldn’t earn you a wonderful life, but putting yourself last would lead to a fulfilling one. Do you know what I mean by that?

We have to teach our children how to be kind, love others, and serve as Jesus did. Heck, He told His followers to drop their nets, leave their jobs, give away their gold, and even go on their journeys without a bag packed. He didn’t plan for a perfect future for them, but He did give them the tools to build up an everlasting treasure in Heaven. He showed them that kindness was cool, being last put you first, and hanging with the outcasts was where it was truly at! I wanna teach my kids that!

You know what? My daughter reads beautifully now, and learning how a little behind the average age didn’t harm her a bit. I had to learn to settle myself and not place too much stress on either of us. I had to realize what’s important in life and what’s not. The world will tell you a lot of things are must-haves and have-to-be dones, but nothing is more important than relationships with those around us and learning to be a better person tomorrow than you were today.

I am a college educated professional, and I make really good money. I have so many options with my career, and I could live anywhere in the country. There’s tons of room for growth, promotional potential, and retirement benefits. My education allows me a lot of freedom in my life, and I think that’s awesome. But it’s not the most important thing.

I could have the highest degree possible for my vocation, and I could have obtained the highest GPA in my graduating class. I could have attended the most prestigious program out there, and have a billion certifications behind my name. I could keep my educational level ever-growing, learning everything I could possibly know about my changing field, but it would mean absolutely nothing if I was a jerk.

I am a successful nurse because I treat my patients like people rather than just a number or diagnosis. My patients love me because I consider my job a privilege to serve mankind. I do well in my career because I’m a good team player, I have a positive attitude, and I’m easygoing in what is a difficult, changing environment. Yeah, I needed the degree to get me to the bedside, but it’s my love for people that keeps me there and happy. I don’t want to be that person who hates their job, and I don’t want my children to be that person either.

You’ve seen technology. The world could be run by robots if we wanted, but one thing prevents that. Love. We need it to make the world go round. We need humanity. We need a smile. Everyone hates self checkout at Walmart because they want the friendly checker to say hello. We need more friendly hellos.

We need more people who love what they do.

We need more people who are passionate about one another, about helping the planet move forward in harmony. We’ve become a selfish place to live. We cut line, cheat, and win by whatever means necessary. We think that will bring happiness. A bigger degree, a more successful career, a fatter bank account, a larger home. Surely these things will bring us happiness! We spend so much time running faster for something better that by the end of our lives we lay there exhausted wondering where the time went. When did the kids grow up? Why don’t they ever come to visit? We sank all that money into our savings account, we built up that retirement cushion, but now that the time has come, no one is there to enjoy it with us. We’re alone. A bunch of highly educated, loners with a huge, extremely quiet home. Where’s the laughter gone?

Ahh, man, I could go on with this forever, but if you’re not getting it by now then I don’t know if you will. But I hope you do, before it’s too late. When you’re on your deathbed it won’t be Billy’s great grasp of phonics that flashes before your eyes. It will be all the lost time with those you loved, all the missed opportunities to build a treasure for yourself and your family beyond this world. It will be regret. And you will finally see that all the things you spent so much time worrying about were meaningless.

Working as a travel nurse I am afforded the opportunity to meet people from all walks of life, all across the country, who have differing opinions on life than I do. Most folks are eager to converse, ask questions, and offer advice as I talk about my family. Since I travel with my husband and three daughters in an RV to different hospital assignments most people are intrigued by our roaming lifestyle. I’ve had many varied reactions to how we’ve chosen to live as a family, and most of them have been positive. In fact, most people proclaim how fun and adventurous it sounds, or how they wish they could do such a thing.

Living the dream.

Of course, as the conversation goes along most people ask pretty quickly what the children do about school. We were a homeschooling family for years before we became a traveling family so I’m very confident in my decision to homeschool. I’m just not quite so used to discussing that decision with so many strangers. Before we began traveling no one really came out and asked, “how do you educate your children.” But now that’s one of the first questions I get.

Again, most people are pretty positive about it, or appear to be. Homeschooling has become more commonplace over the years, so people aren’t shocked anymore. Some even say something like, “yeah, my niece homeschools.” But there’s always that one, strong-opinionated individual who feels compelled to offer their personal opinion on how I should educate my own children. And I get that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I just may not be turning cartwheels to hear it when it talks condescendingly about something I am so passionate to pursue. Make sense? It’s like, why not just keep that to yourself?

I’ve heard a plethora of uneducated (on the issue of homeschooling) and stereotypical opinions about homeschooling, but here’s the most recent one I got from a patient’s family member who I had met all of five minutes.

“That’s great, just make sure you enroll them in real school by the time they’re teenagers. My kids went to college with homeschooled kids, and they had no idea how to act in the real world. Don’t do that to your kids. Let them learn how to socialize.” She instructed me with a knowing look.

Y’all, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t say anything. I was just too dumbfounded to respond. Had I been able to pick up my jaw from the floor I might have answered something like this.

We don’t keep them locked up in a dungeon.

They’re not in an RV commune, sitting in the dirt, in their sack dresses, begging Paw if we can go to the picture show this weekend.

We don’t keep them trapped in their room, on their knees, praying for forgiveness, and hoping we’ll let them out in public today.

They play with other children. They also interact with a multitude of adults. They’re allowed to experience different areas of the country, different cultures, different people, and how to interact intelligently, politely, and lovingly with all types of people. It’s socialization at its best. We just happen to be present to help raise, guide, and mentor them through these differing situations rather than throwing them to the wolves with the hopes they’ll figure it out.

They go to church, Sunday School, playgrounds, community events, parties, and all kinds of activities. I would almost venture to say they have more of an opportunity to socialize than most young children their age. Instead of being trapped in the same environment, with the same people, same views, and even same closed-mindedness, they are given the awesome opportunity to learn and grow from the experiences of people from all over. Talk about socialization!

What they aren’t chained into believing is that there’s only one way to think in life, that there’s only one way to live life, that there’s no room for growth, adventure, or the opportunity to chase their dreams. Their opinions aren’t molded into conformity by the masses or their minds made up for them based on what’s socially acceptable in their small sampling of the world. They don’t think something is “cool” because that’s what their small circle of friends believe. They aren’t forced to follow the crowd, fit into a clique, or conform to a box. They are allowed independent thought based on the varying opinions they are allowed to glean from.

When they go to college (if they choose to go, because I won’t push a certain path upon them) they will not be lost. They will not be lost because we will have trained them up in the way they should go. They will be like straight and sure arrows, on target, led by the Lord as we have taught them. Or so I hope. But even if they falter and fall, I will not fret, for they belonged to the Lord before they did me, and they’ll belong to Him always. He just gives me the chance to raise them here on earth for Him until eternity comes. And in that regard we prayerfully and purposefully have chosen the educational path for our children that is homeschooling.

In the path we have chosen we don’t focus on what career you’ll have when you grow up, but rather what kind of person you’re going to be. We don’t focus of building winners, but rather creating children who are okay if they lose, children who can be servants, not just want to be the master of their own little universe.

We have certain morals and ideals that we are led to cultivate into the next generation. We’re not just raising doctors, lawyers, or Wall street executives. We’re raising kind kids who will show the light of Jesus in a lost and dying world. This is our focus.

We’re not so worried if they’ll be the most popular, captain of the team, or president of the class. We’re not just building a transcript; we’re building character. But since you’re so concerned if they’ll be that weird kid, the answer is “yeah, they probably will be.”

They’ll be the weird ones who help the hurting, befriend the outcast, and take second place to let someone else be first. They’ll be the weird ones following their moral compass rather than the crowd, or so I pray. But even if they falter or make mistakes (because they will; they’re human after all), they will know God’s grace. They’ll know it extends greater than grades, just as his mercy overshadows money-making any day.

Today as we were getting in the truck to leave an elderly woman in our current RV Park ran over.

“Can I say goodbye to the girls? We’re leaving today?” She explained breathlessly.

She proceeded to hug my daughters and explain how much fun she had watching them play. She added to me that they were so kind and polite, a true joy to be around, and that she would miss them! It touched my heart and made me realize that we’re doing okay at this crazy-hard thing called parenting. We’ll keep doing it the best we can, as God leads, and despite the well-intentioned opinion of strangers concerned for our educational methods. I believe we’re doing just fine over here.

It’s always so fun for me to watch the posts that come across my Facebook newsfeed as Summer approaches. Tired moms eagerly anticipating Summer break, much as I do, but before even a month has passed they grow weary of the challenge of having their children home 24/7. My first thought is always, welcome to my world, Momma!! But then I remember that they’re not used to my life. They haven’t spent day in and day out, all year long with their little ones at home, so I try to cut them a little slack.

See, as a homeschool mom I have had the task of attending to my children from sunup to sundown, and while I made that decision intentionally and wholeheartedly, I won’t lie and say that every day is full of rainbows and unicorns. And while I’d never desire anything other than spending the quality time educating my girls at home, it can be exhausting and exasperating. I can only imagine if you’re not used to it!

As a parent who spends most waking hours with my kids I have been able to work through a lot of the issues that may abound if left to their own devices. So I thought I’d pass along a few tips to my Mommy friends who aren’t as accustomed as I am to having your kids staring you in the face while you’re trying to read a book with lamentations of “I’m so bored!”

1. Don’t bust the budget on expensive snacks. It’s so easy to get excited at the grocery store, especially when summertime rolls around. You’ll have wonderful intentions, great recipe and snack ideas brought to you by the likes of Pinterest, and a desire to feed your adoring offspring the treats they enjoy. My advice is don’t. Just don’t.

Realize that they will eat it all before you even pull into the driveway, most likely. And even if they do leave a box of Cheez-its behind buried underneath the Charmin, they won’t last long. You see, a strange thing happens when children are home. Their stomachs grow even faster than the Grinch’s heart after he almost stole Christmas, and they will eat you out of house and home. There’s no breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s just a constant grazing at the Homestead Buffet. So you might as well save your cash for more toilet paper. Cause seriously, the more they eat, the more they poop. Be ready for a full-out food orgy followed by a commode-clogging exodus. You’ll see then why the fruit snacks ran out so quickly; they don’t chew them. Too much? I just thought you’d want to be warned.

Be prepared for many, many requests for snacks, followed by petitions for popsicles, and finally whining wails that there’s nothing to eat in the house. As a homeschooling mom I probably spend more on groceries than our curriculum, mortgage, and car payment combined. Kids gotta eat, and boy do they ever! They’ll eat Great Value Peanut Butter on Saltines and bag cereal if they’re hungry; trust me.

2. Keep your lips zipped! No doubt you have grand plans for summertime. Well, keep it to yourself! You know what will ruin the harmony of a lovely day? Your children asking for the umpteenth time, “when are we going ________?!” If being home with my girls year round has taught me anything it’s that it’s best to spring stuff last minute, otherwise I never hear the end of it. I feel sorry for public school teachers having to send home permission slips in advance! When we do a field trip or fun day out I learned I can’t even tell them about it the day before. And Heaven help you if you have to cancel. There’s no way out if you’re just not feeling the fun park on a Friday. Nope, you’ve sealed the deal in blood by giving advance notice. So just don’t. Trust me. Keep it a surprise as long as you can for sanity sake. Or you can tell them about the Disney trip now and hear every day until July, “but Mom, that’s gonna take forever!”

3. Don’t pull out the big guns all at once! I get it. You’re excited for time off with the kiddos. Waterpark, picnic, pool, and the beach! Then what? You would be surprised how quickly children can tire of the everyday mundane. While parents love nothing more than a day doing nothing, kids, not so much. You’ll be tempted to have all your fun activities right away, but if you don’t want to be breaking up fights every five minutes the last two weeks of July then you might want to space out the fun.

And then there’s this little tidbit. You may feel like it’s your job to come up with stuff to entertain them and places to go. You’re not! You’re not an activity director; you’re the parent. You’re job is to lead, guide, and love, but not be their imagination. That’s totally up to them. Give them the freedom to do so. If you’re always creating things for them to do then they won’t be able to self-entertain. When I was a little kid I was an only child, and I didn’t ever stay in a neighborhood long enough to make friends. I didn’t even have any toys at one point in my childhood, around age five. I had a tape recorder, but no bedroom of my own. So I’d lock myself into the bathroom and record made-up songs. While I don’t expect my girls to live in a motel without their dolls like I did, I do expect them to use their imagination and have fun without a full agenda of activities that cost us money. If you can teach your children to have fun without constantly going and doing then you’ll all have a great Summer break. A real break.

I hope that everyone can enjoy their children being home this Summer, that you won’t be ready to pull your hair out before it’s over, and that you can cherish the time with your kids. While homeschooling is challenging and having my children around all the time is tiring, I also can’t imagine any other way. They’re only in my home and care for so long, and my goal is to savor and enjoy it as much as possible. I pray the same for you. Best wishes!

Yeah, I was angry. Sure, I was having a super easy, relaxed day at work, but it was work. I was working. So he needed to be homeschooling. That was the deal. So why wasn’t he doing things like I thought he should?!

I had been homeschooling our daughters for three years, and I’ll be the first to say it; it ain’t easy. I just told someone the other day you need to have a calling to homeschool because if you don’t you’re going to have a very hard time. If the idea is just some passing folly then when the going gets tough you’ll be gone. When my husband and I decided that I would go back to work full-time, he agreed to take over 100% of the homeschooling responsibility. That way when I was off we could just all hang out as a family and enjoy time together. Perfect!

But there I sat on a Saturday morning at work, and when I asked my husband how their day was going he replied, “good. We’re just being lazy.”

Wait, what?! He should be educating the children!

“Have you done school yet?” I asked back quickly.

“Not a full day yet. But we will.” He answered.

Then I continued to question him about our five year old, and what she had done so far, since I knew she was the more difficult one to keep focused because of age. In that moment all I saw was what I was doing, and I needed to make sure he was carrying his weight to my satisfaction. But also performing to my specific standards. You know, like how I would do it.

So as I continued to question his schedule and progress he finally responded back.

“You’re just going to have to trust me with this.”

And at that text I realized fully what I was doing. I wasn’t trusting him. I was asking for frequent updates like I was his boss, not his partner. I was holding him to a higher standard than even I could maintain. I knew that our two year old had been sick that very morning and threw up. He had checked in frequently with the progress of how she was holding down fluids, and how she was finally feeling much better. He had experienced a busy morning as Dad already.

Then there was the truth. How many times had I started school after lunch? A lot. How many times had he checked in on me while I was the one homeschooling and he was at work? Never.

Ouch.

I understood then that I was trying to micromanage my husband. I was expecting him to do everything exactly like I had done when in his position. Or worse; I was expecting him to be perfect. Not realistic. I was making him feel like I didn’t trust him with the task, and honestly, how would I have felt if he had questioned me on how much we did when I first started homeschooling our eldest? Homeschooling is hard enough without feeling like you have a “school board” breathing down your neck.

The fact was he had the calling too. We both wholeheartedly and strongly agreed that home education was what God had for our kids. He loved our children and wanted the best for them, just like I did, and he would do what was the absolute best for them. He was right, I needed to trust him in this. I needed to have some faith in his abilities, and for the benefit of our marriage he needed to know I did. For the benefit of our children, they needed to see I did. He might not always do it the way I had done, but he would do it well. I knew that deep down in my heart. Now my actions needed to prove it.

He later, without my prompting, updated me on the great success our five year old had done with her speech therapy exercises he went through with her. And when I got home I saw the day’s work displayed prominently on our dining room wall. I was proud of him, but not just because he had done things in a way I would have done. I was proud because he had done them in his own way. He had done them out of love and with a dedication to his children. It didn’t just show on the papers on the wall. It showed in the happy smiles of our girls, in the kind treatment they displayed to one another, and in the compassion and love for everyone they encountered. I knew he was teaching phonics, but he was also shaping young minds to lean closer to Jesus. I was abundantly proud of that, and I knew no micromanaging was required.

Today I decided to take my children to a local Civil War Museum. We live in Mississippi, and although the museum is just down the street from my house I had never been. I grew up taking frequent trips to Shiloh Battlefied so I suppose I figured I had seen all the historical facts there were to see, but it occurred to me today that my children had not. They’re still young. I figured the almost two and almost five year old might have trouble understanding it all, but my bright, seven year old would gain some great pearls of history from the excursion. So we went.

My seven year old knew about the Civil War from previous lessons, but I reiterated key points as we did our tour. In all honesty it probably wasn’t the best educational experience with the younger two running around, but I still tried to make sure she understood the seriousness of this particular piece of our history. As she sat on a bench next to a statue of an African American girl I asked her if she had any questions. I assumed she would, but I really didn’t expect what she said next.

She asked hesitantly, “are we bad people, Momma? Are we bad cause we kept them as slaves?”

I was caught off guard by her question and also saddened that it was something that even needed to be pondered, but I was also proud of her empathy, conviction, and introspection at such a young age. I answered the best I could.

In a way yes, and in a way, no. As humans ruled by sin we can do despicable things. Our ancestors did a very bad thing by treating people like property rather than living beings with a soul. We can be sad by what they did, we can learn from their mistakes, we can understand that black people today still hurt a whole bunch because of what happened, but we cannot change what happened. We can’t undo the bad things, but we can move forward in good.

We can make a point to live today and each day being kind, treating people equally and with love, and showing them the good in us. God in us. That’s the most important thing to know. We did bad, but we can still do good. We’re not bad, because of Jesus, and we’re only good by His grace.

When I finished I looked at her solemnly and asked, “do you understand?”

“Yes, Momma.” She smiled. “I love you.”

Then I thought, I love you too, baby. I wish I could take all the bad away so it never touched you, but then I also know that there’s many bad things, such as this, that you absolutely must see so that you’ll be better able to understand God’s goodness at work in our lives, how much we absolutely need Him, and how you can be His hands and feet in a bad world.

Are white people bad? We’re all bad; white, black, brown, yellow, and green. God is the only thing good in any of us.

I have a lot of friends who reach out to me on a regular basis with questions about homeschooling, and although I feel like a novice with much left to learn, I do enjoy telling people what I’ve gleaned thus far. Many times, though, folks just want to bounce the idea of homeschooling off me. They want to do it, they feel like they should, but they’re worried they won’t do well! Well sister, I say you’re in good company. Many days end with me worrying if I’m the best teacher my child could have. Often times I worry about the future challenges we may come across. And soooo many days I want to pull my hair out! Bottom line, though, is none of us are designed to be the perfect homeschooling parent for our children. We just become the teacher at home that they need. When you’re led to do something you shake off the fear, dust off your insecurities, and throw on the armor of God. You remember why you’re doing it in the first place, because it sure isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it!

I have a lot of reasons my husband and I chose to homeschool, but today I’ll simply tell you about three that are very near and dear to my heart.

1. To spend time with my children. This may seem like a strange reason to homeschool to you, or if you’re like me it may seem like the absolute best reason. I often see moms in tears over their five year old’s first day of kindergarten, and they’ll even say something like, “I wish we didn’t have to do this!”

I always want to shout out, “you don’t!”

Just because public school education is the norm in our westernized society, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way. It’s ok to think outside of the box and explore alternative methods to educate your child.

The way I see it for my family is this. I have roughly 7,000 days with my child before they leave the home to venture out on their own. I want to choose how we spend that time. I don’t want my child spending the majority of every day with other adults caring for them. I want them spending it with me. I don’t want their evenings consumed by homework; I want them cultivated by time together with family, or fun activities of their choosing.

We gotta bring up the subject of dollars and cents, right? Money isn’t everything, but it does take a lot of it to make the world run. It’s difficult to work less to make homeschooling possible, but it was something my husband and I felt strongly about. We miss out on vacations, new/name-brand clothing, and so much more with less income streaming through the home, but we weighed our priorities and decided to make the necessary cuts. We knew we only had this short amount of time to not only train them up in the way they should go, but also pour our love abundantly into them. We decided to savor as much of it as we could.

2. For their socialization! Oh, how I love this topic. Many people who come to me with a desire to homeschool have this one hang up.

Here’s what I mean. I watch socialization issues such as bullying. Last week alone I counted five different women talking on Facebook about how upset they were with bullying of their children in the public school setting.

“It will toughen them up!” Some people exclaim.

But I ask this. Why must we create harder children for a harsh world? Why can’t we create compassionate children who can change the world and make it a kinder place?

I raise my children to love others, and to treat people like they would want to be treated. Sadly not everyone does that. Some adults are bullies. They raise tiny bullies and send them to school to seek out the kind-hearted and devour them. Perhaps my years in school of being bullied have created a monster in me that wishes to protect my girls from the pain I suffered through. I look back and I don’t think it made me stronger at all. I think it’s only by God’s grace I didn’t commit suicide. So yeah, my experiences may very well cloud my judgement, but so be it. I know I can’t protect my children from the world forever, but I can shield them while they are young and still developing maturity and a sense of self-worth. Being bullied at thirty is one thing. You can shake it off. But being bullied at twelve is quite another. Am I being over-protective? Probably so. I only wish my own parents could have sheltered me more.

Not only does normal socialization include bullying it also includes things such as cliques and a judgmental hierarchy that bases worth on commodities such as what your parents do for a living or what brand of clothing you’re wearing. Values such as worth based on outward appearance are pushed readily, and our selfie, social media world is only pushing this to a whole other level of crazy. You can easily see what matters when you’re forty. But fourteen? Not so much.

So, yes, I am worried too about socialization for my children if it involves the above descriptions. But if you’re talking about concerns over them hanging out with kids their own age other than siblings, then worry not.

We currently soclialize with many different kinds of children via outlets such as church, dance, softball, gymnastics, and a local homeschool association where they can take classes, sports, and field trips with other kids. I actually have to say no to many of the activities so we’re not running ourselves ragged socializing. I get to socialize my kids how I want!

3. To lead them to a closer walk with Christ. One of the greatest tasks in my life is to show my children the heart of Jesus. It’s an absolute honor to me to be able to insert Biblical studies and obviously God-centered instruction into their curriculum. As our world “progresses” and becomes more and more politically correct, it also becomes more exclusionary of Christianity. While I believe math, science, and language arts are a very important part of their education and future, as a lover of Jesus I consider their hearts being turned to the Lord of most importance in their life. I’m abundantly grateful to be able to openly teach my children about the Lord in my home. It’s my favorite part of the instruction I provide during our school hours, and I think it’s these lessons that will make them most successful in life.

Of course, as always, anything I share is my opinion, and these are reasons I choose to homeschool. The choice of how to best educate your child is unique to each individual, and there’s no right or wrong way. There’s just what feels best for you. I never want to make anyone feel like I think homeschooling is the only correct way to educate! Homeschooling is not for everyone! I simply share what feels best for me and why because I have so many people ask my opinion about it. These are a few reasons I feel led to instruct at home, and if they ring true with you then perhaps the path of homeschool is for you too. Shoot me a line sometime with your concerns and let’s chat. I’m sure I’ve had the same thoughts as you!

I’ll preface this post by saying I’m not an expert in child development. I am a Registered Nurse, and I am a mother. Those two things have caused me to wonder if perhaps our society nowadays has gone overboard on diagnosing children with disorders, and while I’m not saying that some kids don’t have serious issues, I’m just asking are we too quick to label everything as something when maybe it’s not?

When my first child was three years old she became very particular with what she wore. It was almost exasperating to me. Honestly, on the days we were in a hurry it was horrible. She didn’t like anything too tight. She refused to wear denim jeans. I had to buy all her panties in bigger sizes as the elastic bothered her, and she couldn’t stand the seam line of the toe of her socks to touch her feet. In my frustration I reached out to other moms on social media and quickly was informed about Sensory Perception Disorder by multiple friends. I do appreciate their concern and help, but something about that didn’t set right with me at the time. And I wondered, why does it have to have a diagnosis? Isn’t that just a kid thing?

I decided to just let her pick her own clothes and not be overly concerned. Three years later and she wears anything. Jeans, tight socks, whatever. So was she cured of her disorder, or did she just outgrow it?

I’m not saying there’s not such a thing as Sensory Perception Disorder, but I am saying that I think society today conditions us to be quick to diagnose our children with a problem, or to label them in some way. Kids who learn better in motion or adventure are termed ADHD, and I understand that controlling a classroom of thirty kids is tough, but it’s a fact that some children aren’t wired to sit still. As we’ve increased curriculum requirements, especially at a young age, we’ve taken away time for healthy movement and play. The kids who need that physical outlet are sometimes incorrectly termed ADHD. Are they simply energetic and kinetic learners?

Once again, I’m not saying there are not kids with ADHD, but don’t you find it odd how the number of children being medicated for this disorder has grown exponentially in the last 20-30 years? So the question is are we just able to recognize it more readily, or are we more conditioned to seek it out?

If a girl child is a tomboy, or a boy child is gentle and nurturing, do they necessarily have an issue with gender identity? Or are they just kids being kids in all kinds of wonderful ways? I had a cousins when I was little who barked all the time, but no one tried to help him identify as a dog.

My second child, age four, is so different from my first, and I find myself sometimes worrying if everything is ok? Why isn’t she a social butterfly like my oldest child? Does she have a social disorder? Why does she cry when she can’t tie her shoes? Is she processing her emotions properly?

I don’t know. But sometimes I think I worry about these things because society has taught me to. Instead of saying my child is shy, or my child is sensitive, I seek a diagnosis or a label so that maybe someone can fix the problem if there is one. What ever happened to just saying a kid is a kid who’s still developing socially, emotionally, and spiritually? I do believe that true social and emotional conditions and issues exist with children, but I’m afraid as parents we’ve become accustomed to think we must be on guard for something amiss. We’re constantly on the lookout wondering if our child is “normal,” whatever that means, and in the midst of throwing them into societal norms and molds we’ve lost the celebration of how God makes each person a unique and special creation.

So if your child is a “cryer” perhaps you should anticipate how God can use their specific personality for His kingdom, and pray to cultivate how God has designed them rather than try and change it.

If they’re “shy” don’t push them to be more outgoing, but instead create environments that foster their sensitivity and artistry.

Perhaps consider homeschooling if your child is having difficulties learning in their current concrete and restricted learning environment.

I’m not saying to ignore serious issues. Keep watch. That’s one of our jobs as parents. But maybe we should stop being so worried. Maybe we could lay off on trying to find a label or diagnosis for every little quirk, and instead celebrate the beautiful child before us.

Friday afternoon I sat at the kitchen table with my six year old. I hugged her close to my side, kissed the top of her head, and held back the hot tears that threatened to spill down my face. If homeschooling had taught me anything, it had taught me what a roller coaster ride it can be to teach your own child. This wasn’t the first time I had cried, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Just like parenting period, teaching your own child at home has ups, downs, and surprises you never imagined would occur.

While I’m no homeschooling expert, and I certainly have much more to learn, looking back on the past three years I am amazed at what I have discovered. I never knew it could be so hard, but I also never knew it could be so rewarding. I can easily recall when I realized I would have to start each school day with prayer, not just for my daughter to enjoy herself, but also so that I could become more patient. It was my first experience with the torture that is sounding out phonics, and trying to figure out how to teach young children of different ages who required my assistance while also tending to a baby had made the last year and a half quite the challenge. Some days ended with me feeling like I was a failure, and I worried if I was giving my children what they needed most.

Was I really the kind of teacher my children deserved?

I can recall a particularly difficult day a few months ago, and it was one of those days where my first grader was just not into it. Being a perfectionalist (she comes by it naturally, bless her) my six year old found it very bothersome that she had not mastered reading.

“Why doesn’t God just make you so you already know how to read?!” She had asked me in frustration.

I had answered, “I think God knows there’s some things we have to work our way through so we’ll learn better what He’s trying to show us.”

This truth didn’t just relate to her, but it also went for me. God was teaching me through this whole process too. Yet despite this recognition the day had continued to slide towards frustration, and when we were both at a wall I decided to call it a day, but not before ending us in prayer. Even though I felt like we were both close to tears I called out to the Lord in thanksgiving.

“Thank you, Lord,” I had prayed earnestly. “Thank you that we have this. Thank you that we have this time together. I know that time is fleeting, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to spend our day together learning alongside one another.”

Because that was the truth of it. It was hard. Finding my way through the challenges of a newborn, and then later a toddler who refused to nap. Figuring out the best way to teach my precocious preschooler while also discovering the rhythm required for my six year old. Committing myself to lesson plans, but not being so stringent that they missed out on just being little kids. It required balance, a whole lot of patience, and strength that I had never tapped into before. I also knew I was just on the beginning leg of this journey, and new challenges would emerge as we went along. Yet despite the difficulties, at the end of the day it was worth it to me.

It was worth it to have them present. It was worth it to me when we sat down together and I read to them about how to love the Lord with all their heart. It was worth it when I saw the twinkle of excitement in their eyes over learning something new, and the snuggles in between were really the best. We didn’t have to worry about being late. We didn’t have to concern ourselves with what name-brand of clothing we wore. We usually did school in pajamas. Some days we followed the curriculum to the letter, but other days we counted and measured while we cooked, discovered science on walks outdoors, and many days the teacher learned from her students, cause that’s how God works.

Friday afternoon as I sat at the kitchen table with my six year old I knew that the decision to homeschool was perfect for us. I might have had my moments where I gritted my teeth, but at that moment as I kissed her head proudly I couldn’t be happier. She was reading, and not just sounding out the letters painfully. She was really reading to me, and I guess the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I had done that! I had taught my child to read. It had started with the letter ‘A,’ and it had gone on from there. Many days I had wondered if she would ever have it click, and as I sat stunned in the aftermath of it I knew we could do anything. Together we could.

Many years lay ahead of us. There would be other challenges, two girls behind her, and probably plenty more tears to follow. But then there would be the smiles, the laughter, the small successes, the time spent together in love. God had led me to this place, and I knew He would see me through it. For our family this was the right thing, the perfect thing, and I was up for the challenge!

Meet Brie

Brie is a forty-something wife and mother. When she's not loving on her hubby or playing with her three daughters, she enjoys cooking, reading, and writing down her thoughts to share with others. She loves traveling the country with her family in their fifth wheel, and all the Netflix binges in between. Read More…

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