the homosexuals!

Ken Mehlman’s Official Gay Coming-Out Party Happening Now!

Rumors about former RNC chair Ken Mehlman’s Complete Gayness have been swirling around for years and years. Mike Rogers outed him several years back, as part of his campaign to rid the political world of homosexuals who cynically use the rest of the gay community as bait in order to convince rubes, yahoos, bumpkins and other morons to set down the teevee clicker even if it means missing the last five minutes of The 700 Club, in order to go out and vote Republican, due to abject fear of gays. Mehlman’s sins were particularly egregious, since we are after all talking about the guy who helped run the most anti-gay presidential campaign in history, which gave us Four More Years of the Crawford hick and his handlers, Karl and Dick.

Ken Mehlman, President Bush’s campaign manager in 2004 and a former chairman of the Republican National Committee, has told family and associates that he is gay.

Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview. He agreed to answer a reporter’s questions, he said, because, now in private life, he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage and anticipated that questions would arise about his participation in a late-September fundraiser for the American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER), the group that supported the legal challenge to California’s ballot initiative against gay marriage, Proposition 8.

“It’s taken me 43 years to get comfortable with this part of my life,” Mehlman said. “Everybody has their own path to travel, their own journey, and for me, over the past few months, I’ve told my family, friends, former colleagues, and current colleagues, and they’ve been wonderful and supportive. The process has been something that’s made me a happier and better person. It’s something I wish I had done years ago.”

Oh, but if you had done it years ago, Kenneth, you wouldn’t have made eleventy billion dollars by publicly fighting the gay demons in your mind, for Evil, which you then used to buy a swanky $3.7 million man-pad in Chelsea.

Anyway, also, Ken Mehlman is very confused as to why The Gays never signed on to Republican pants-shitting campaigns against Muslins:

He often wondered why gay voters never formed common cause with Republican opponents of Islamic jihad, which he called “the greatest anti-gay force in the world right now.”

Oh, that’s because the Republican plan for fighting Islamic extremism is laughably stupid, driven by emotion and fear, and exemplifies all the characteristics of Severe Small Penis Syndrome. Additionally, it’s been a hilarious failure everywhere it’s been tried. Thanks, Bill Kristol!

Simple answers to simple questions, this has been.

For his part, Mike Rogers wants to see Ken Mehlman do a LOT of apologizing and public self-flagellation before he will even think about allowing him to be a Socially Accepted Gay:

So, how can Ken Mehlman redeem himself? I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for being the architect of the 2004 Bush reelection campaign. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for his role in developing strategy that resulted in George W. Bush threatening to veto ENDA or any bill containing hate crimes laws. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for the pressing of two Federal Marriage Amendments as political tools. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for developing the 72-hour strategy, using homophobic churches to become political arms of the GOP before Election Day.

And those state marriage amendments. I want to hear him apologize for every one of those, too.

Also, he should probably be punched on live television by Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, and maybe one of the man-fags from the So You Think You Can Lip Sync While Wearing Wigs or the So You Think You Can Make Pretty Dresses, For Girls, or whatever the hell shows the gays watch obsessively, in groups, while squealing, especially since Mehlman is still giving money to anti-gay candidates! As Joe Jervis said, “hookers call that ‘working both sides of the street.'”

Evan Hurst is the Senior Editor of Wonkette.
He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it's probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

There’s a joke somewhere in this story about Ken hanging out with Dick and Bush for eight years, but it seems simultaneously too obvious and too tasteless to tell.

Dashboard_Buddha

[re=645964]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Lol…I was thinking that very thing when I read this story yesterday. Years ago, a friend of mine use to play the 45 of this song at 33 1/3. Good times.

drpangloss

What again? All these conservative closet cases make the baby jebus cry.

Ruhe

Well, Tony Kushner has his new villain so he can get to work on that next trilogy.

Serolf Divad

Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview. He agreed to answer a reporter’s questions, he said, because, now in private life, he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage…

Oh no you dont. You don’t fucking get to suddenly “become an advocate” for the people you successfully demonized six years ago in a shameless quest for naked political power.

Go fuck yourself, Melman. Go fuck yourself with cactus nailed to a sea-urchin tied to a rattlesnake all wrapped up in barbed wire.

Darkness

As cool as well-adjusted gays are, that does mean the republican ones are not childishly spoiled, ne infantile. Surprisingly like their straight brethren.

weejee

Liz, there could be an Oscar in filming the Beckapalooza.

Not_So_Much

Shocking…zzzz

Terry

“I’ve told my family, friends, former colleagues, and current colleagues, and they’ve been wonderful and supportive.”

…because they’ve all known for YEARS, Ken

“The process has been something that’s made me a happier and better person. It’s something I wish I had done years ago.””

You mean years ago, back when you were in a position of influence? Yeah, a lot of people wish you had done things differently back then.

Johnny Zhivago

You have to figure there is a big role for Melman to continue playing in today’s GOP.

Terry

“Anyway, welcome to gayness, Ken! Nobody is going to have sex with you, but don’t let it bring you down, because they probably weren’t having sex with you before.”

Actually, if he had stayed in the closet, he probably could have found some thin lipped, overly made up, GOP model of proper womanhood to be his beard in exchange for his paying the credit card bills she ran up.

Serolf Divad

Fun Fact While Mehlman was Bush campaign manager and then later chairman of the RNC, 21 states enacted laws banning same sex marriage:

So fuck you again, Mehlman. Crawl back into your closet with a pistol and put a bullet through your worthless brain in pennance for all the gay teenager did just that while you and your power hungry cronies were portraying them as subhuman degenerates.

Johnny Zhivago

[re=645992]Terry[/re]: Yeah, no snark here, but there really should be a special place in hell for hypocrites of this magnitude.

Tcaalaw

What, no Justin Bieber blingee for Ken?

Baby who ate the Dingo

I’ll wait and see if a tsunami of truthiness is on the way, like acknowledging EVERY WORD OUT OF THE GEORGE, DICK AND KARL KOMEDY HOUR AND 7.9999 YEARS WAS A LIE.

“He often wondered why gay voters never formed common cause with Republican opponents of Islamic jihad”

So, he thinks one minority the Republicans act as hateful bigots towards should join them in hateful bigotry against a different minority. But with added paranoia against the imaginary jihad! Grr.

ttommyunger

Enjoyed Liz’s video of the party… Have to say, there probably haven’t been that many twats on one rooftop since Absalom porked his daddy’s Concubines on the Palace Penthouse Veranda in Jerusalem. Sorry for the Old Testament reference, Ken’s newly admitted preference for penis just brought out the stoning instinct in me.

Aunt Fancy

Ken Mehlman is like Dave Chappelle’s Black White Supremacist but in a less racist a more gay way, or J. Edgar Hoover way if that tastes better going down (that’s what he said).

Terry

[re=646002]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:

Agreed.

DespicableDarwinistFaggot

What a lying, hypocritical shitsack. I grew up in a conservative Evangelical household whipped up into anti-fag fervor by the likes of this guy. And yes, my parents watched the 700 Club. I grew up on self-loathing and Jebus indoctrination- oh, and I was just turning sixteen when Bush was re-running. I’m not accustomed to this much pure rage this early in the morning.

On a less stabbey-facey note, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a squealy faggy show. I watch Mythbusters, does that count?

Baldar T Flagass

[re=645988]weejee[/re]: Think Leni Riefenstahl, Triumph of the Will.

DespicableDarwinistFaggot

[re=646001]Serolf Divad[/re]: I second this.

bfstevie

I am in awe of Evan Hurst almost as much as I loathe Ken Mehlman.

Tim

He’d have been better off in the closet. If he’s like most Log Cabin types, he only likes twinks, and he’s way to old to do anything but pay at this point.

Berkeley Bear

I’m happy Mehlman has decided to come out. Maybe know he’ll finally get the beat-down he deserves for the 2004 campaign, even if it comes in the guise of a gay bashing by Wal-Martians.

Given the Mike Rogers connection, I think Mark Kirk should be asked about Mehlman’s coming out and gay marriage non-stop from now until November.

TheUptightMidwesterner

This asshole coming out now and saying it is to help work to legalize gay marriage can only be likened to some long-time arsonist trying to go work for Habitat for Humanity.

Wow, so happy that the decades-long “process” of crafting state-sponsored persecution against your fellow homos has helped to make you “a happier and better person,” Mehlman, you despicable puddle of santorum.

S.Luggo

Is Mehlmew still dating Joe Lieberman?

BOOBIES!

“The process has been something that’s made me a happier and better person.”

I don’t give a rat’s ass if you are a happy and better person, Ken. You made a fortune making other gay people miserable and disenfranchised. You helped elect the most incompetent boob that ever walked into the oval office. That Texas turd made a mockery of our Constitution, turned medical research and science back a quarter century, destroyed our financial system and created a foreign policy responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of American soldiers, Iraq citizens and Afghanistan citizens. He wasn’t qualified to mow the lawn at the White House and Ken, you used hate, bigotry and deliberate lies to elect the bastard. You don’t deserve to be a happy, better person. You are a disgrace.

Baldar T Flagass

[re=646032]W.T. Sherman[/re]: Or Robert Byrd’s, for that matter. Unfortunately, it’s not ALL good guys on our side…

Lud

Brain-damaged alcoholic self-hating closted homosexual George Bush selected Ted Haggard as his spiritual advisor, Ken Mehlman as his campaign manager, Condolezbian Rice as his foreign affairs advisor and Karl “Miss Piggy” Rove as his political advisor.

I guess this is why Christians in America love a real American like George Bush and hate that abnormal Muslin Obama.

cembry

“Everybody has their own path to travel”, and while your traveling it it’s OK to trip other people who are trying to follow their paths. I mean, as long as you get where your going, screw those bastards, amiright?

FMA

I haven’t been this shocked since Ricky Martin, or whatever his name is, came out.

Katydid

We need a NSFSP (not safe for sane people) warning on links like the gaypatriot. Buncha fucking assholes over there.

But thanks for linking to that tweet, Eve. Funniest tweet I’ve ever read.

For those of you too lazy to click the linky links, the tweet is:

“None of us are going to have sex with you, Ken Mehlman. Best of luck. Regards, Gays.–Choire Sicha”

S.Luggo

[re=646038]BOOBIES![/re]: Could you expand on that?

Cape Clod

He can start doing his penance by first outing Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell.

mumblyjoe

[re=646007]JMP[/re]: And in fact the wing of the Republican party that is most bigoted vis a vis the gays happens to also be the wing of the party that keeps talking about firebomb every mosque anywhere or whatever, and of course gays aren’t really supposed to notice this minor detail.

Like, why wouldn’t The Blacks (as we’re referred to in Real America) want to team up with the Klan to keep, I dunno, the Catholics out? What’s wrong with them?

coolcatdaddy

“Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview.”

Translation: Mehlman milked all the money he could from political consulting for fear-mongering twits with a penis inferiority complex and has recently realized that he will need to find a new client base in DC for his work in order continue raking in dough.

Dolmance

Poor Ken. Puberty can be such a confusing, awkward time.

Katydid

And, in fact, the assholes at gaypatriot are coming out on offense, already whining about lefties excoriating Melman because he’s a lying hypocritical shitsack who worked so hard to abuse gay people. They’re congratuling each other on their own “sensitivity” to Melman in this, his time of need, and they want to call him up, literally, and tell him how great and brave he is. And they’re whining about how mean libruls are, to notice the truth, and to, gasp, say something about it.

And on and on, you know the dance. I’m so tired of the dance.

ella

Cynic that I am, I can only assume the GOP has milked the homophobe vote for all it’s worth. Let him say he’s a muslin and then we’ll see.

HedonismBot

What a fag. Not because he’s gay, but because he’s an opportunistic, power-hungry, hypocritical bastard. I agree with Louis C.K. and South Park: “Fag” is no longer a put-down against gay people. “Fag” is a put-down against, well, fags, be they gay or straight.

MOG

Just when you think nothing else will surprise you, this kind of logic (?) rears its head. What a waste of talent and energy, spending years on a political agenda that threatens your natural instincts and way of life.

JMP

[re=646050]mumblyjoe[/re]: He also makes the statement right after basically admitting that his support of anti-gay bigotry was insincere for political gain. I’m never sure who is the more evil, the actual hateful bigots or those who aren’t really bigots but support bigotry for their own political and/or financial gain, not caring if it leads to things like, oh, beating a gay kid to death outside a bar, or a kid trying to stab a cab driver to death.

saralovesyou

[re=646051]coolcatdaddy[/re]: I would love it if we could institute a gay banishment on him. Preferably keeping him in a gay city, but no one dates him, befriends him, or has sex with him and he can’t go to any cultural events that we either fund or create.

I hate him so much. He deserves nothing.

Doc Holliday

Scumbag. It took him 43 years to figure out he liked dick? He’s still lying. He owes Gay America an apology. I think it’s time for a good olde fashioned shunning.

Katydid

[re=646060]HedonismBot[/re]: I don’t agree with that, but I do think we need a new word to take the place of it in the sense that you’re using it. It’s a really, really offensive word, and it hurts some people a lot, even if you don’t mean it to, or if you qualify it. I don’t think Louis C.K.’s meaning is going to catch on, and even if it does, it will still be hurtful to gay people who were taunted with that word.

Plus, I don’t think the word applies to Melman in this case. I think “opportunistic, power-hungry, hypocritical bastard” works quite well, and is far more precise.

Tim

[re=646060]HedonismBot[/re]: No. I loathe South Park. Please stop. They’re part of the stupid. “fag” is most definitely an insult to gays.

RoscoePColtraine

Kudos to Ken Mehlman! How can one not but admire a person who courageously changes their public position on a cause that is rapidly gaining acceptance?

Extemporanus

[re=645964]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “It’s raining KEN, hallelujah!”

Serolf Divad

[re=646074]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

Precisely: 10 years from now Republicans will object every time someone brings up their homophobic past, insisting that it was alwyas a minority view in the GOP, was never a central issue, and is all being blown way out of proportion, and that the GOP has always emphasized the importance of marriage. Then they’ll figure out some way to suggest that the Democrats were the truly homophobic party.

He have any photos of J. Edgar Hoover in drag? Gay wingers tend to hang together.

actor212

Mehlman arrived at this conclusion about his identity fairly recently, he said in an interview.

The Farce is strong with this one.

randomsausage

Jesus. First Ricky Martin and now Ken Mehlman. Next you’ll be telling us Matt Drudge is gay. Oh, wait…..

actor212

See, when I first heard this story, I thought the announcer said “Hans Moleman” and I thought “How very oprogressive of Matt Groenig to have an out character on The Simpsons!”

gurukalehuru

Just because this gives me another opportunity to say it, but I suspect that George (it’s not gay if you’re on top)W.Bush’s cutesie little pet name for Karl Rove, “Turdblossom”, referred to a floral shaped shitstain that appeared after George fucked Karl up the bunghole, which I suspect happened when Karl had either been particularly good, or perhaps when he’d been particularly bad.

randomsausage

You just know Condi Rice is running naked around her apartment right now singing…

—

I like apple pie
And you like banoffee
We both love shopping for furniture
And meeting for coffee

etc etc

HedonismBot

[re=646126]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yuck. But I always imagined Rove was the “top” in that relationship.

BOOBIES!

This should be a lesson for Michael Steele. One day that man will wake-up and realize his is black and that he has been black for a really long time. He will have to come out to his friends, family and colleagues and acknowledge his blackness. He will have to admit that the years and energy he wasted attacking the nation’s first black President was really self-destructive.

MarieDeGournay

[re=646001]Serolf Divad[/re]: word

RoscoePColtraine

May I suggest a way for Ken to redeem himself? How about if he gives us the dish on what that whole who-let-the-gay-male-escort-into-the-white house-press-pool dealie? Bonus if it was Dubya, (and I think you know what I mean by ‘bonus’), and it doesn’t count at all if it was, in fact, Ken who was instrumental in setting that up. Talon News Agency…..and it fucking worked.

Zombie Cucumber

“…“Everybody has their own path to travel, their own journey…”

How I loathe this type of blanket self-exoneration. “I can’t be held responsible for anything I did or said, because it was all part of my journey.”

Let’s see you go advocate, Ken. Start on Fox News, OK?

edgydrifter

[re=645980]Serolf Divad[/re]: The barbed-wire cactus-urchin snake should also be packed with yellowjackets (or fire ants, depending on what’s available locally).

Oblios Cap

[re=646117]randomsausage[/re]:

now Ken Mehlman. Next you’ll be telling us Matt Drudge is gay. Oh, wait…..

I’ll bet they’re both more than just gay.

I’ll take NAMBLA members for $1,000, Alex.

DemmeFatale

A thousand deaths are not enough…

Clungeflaps

[re=646073]Tim[/re]: Sorry Tim, I’m a grown man, not a teenage emo with a geek pie hairdo (i’m not gonna explain what this is), I’m not terribly bothered by the word fag. The last time I was called fag was a year ago in Portland, when this trust fund punk-on-a-lark panhandler asked me for a cigarette, and I told her to fuck off, you have plenty of money and you know it.

If anything, I find ‘fag’ very boring and tedious, and not offensive enough. Put a bit of fucking effort into it if you’re gonna insult me, you know?

GayInMaine

Cocktober comes earlier and earlier every year…

thefrontpage1

What a frickin’ moronic, idiotic, inept, inane and stupid hypocrite!

Mike Rogers said it best, and it deserves repeating down here in the Comments Section:

“So, how can Ken Mehlman redeem himself? I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for being the architect of the 2004 Bush reelection campaign. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for his role in developing strategy that resulted in George W. Bush threatening to veto ENDA or any bill containing hate crimes laws. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for the pressing of two Federal Marriage Amendments as political tools. I want to hear from Ken that he is sorry for developing the 72-hour strategy, using homophobic churches to become political arms of the GOP before Election Day.

“And those state marriage amendments. I want to hear him apologize for every one of those, too.”

Mehlman, like everyone else from the horribly failed Bush presidency, is a hypocrite.

The Bush II presidency, along with the Nixon, Reagan and Bush I presidencies, are four of the absolute worst, corrupt and inept presidential administrations in the history of the United States. And that’s a fact.

chaste everywhere

[re=646172]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: So he’s taking his Talons to South Beach?

randomsausage

All in all though, this was a pretty smart way for Mehlman to get some hot tail back to his “$3.5 million Chelsea apartment”. Way to get the word out Ken (the word being that you’re rich and want to suck some young cock). Better than some lame Craigslist MfM listing that’s fersure.

PineyWoodster

Well that’s nice to hear, Ken. Now maybe you could clear up a few questions we had about Jeff Gannon’s visits to the White House…

RoscoePColtraine

[re=646172]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
Look! I tossed up a word salad!

(It’s easy. I cheated by using my phone to comment.)

Baldar T Flagass

[re=646206]Clungeflaps[/re]: “panhandler asked me for a cigarette”

Back in the day, it would have been “can ya spare me a fag?”

mumblyjoe

[re=646180]edgydrifter[/re]: Well, sometimes cactus come with swarms of scorpions packed inside; this is an actual thing that happens. So, let’s go with that.

Manos: Hands of Fate

“He often wondered why gay voters never formed common cause with Republican opponents of Islamic jihad, which he called “the greatest anti-gay force in the world right now.”

Wow, that’s so stupid, even I’m shocked. I’m pretty sure that when Ken was RNC chair, the main folks trying to fuck with the rights of gay Americans weren’t muslins. There is also the assumption that the Democrats were running on a pro-sharia law platform back in 2004. Perhaps he should be in charge GOP outreach to gays in, say Saudi Arabia. That line might go over better.

Fox n Fiends

Reagan was gay too, but you didn’t hear him going around being apologetic about it.

ShamWow

[re=646152]HedonismBot[/re]: Nah, they are both the bottom with a double-dong

NYNYNY

This is so heartwarming- like when Henry Kissiner decided to adopt a Vietnamese War orphan after his retirement. Or that time Pol Pot planted those flowers around a mass grave.

[re=646007]JMP[/re]: Yep, it’s actually more likely the Christianist faction of the GOP and the fundy Muslins will get together in common anti-Enlightenment cause before the gays vote GOP in any number.

GOPCrusher

After years of beating the homophobe drum, Ken can’t understand why gays won’t join the Republiklans in hating the Muslims? Let’s clue you in to something Ken, outside the Republiklan Party, not everyone needs another group of people to oppress to feel better about themselves.

themcw

What’s Jeff Gannon up to lately?

WHAT?

[re=645980]Serolf Divad[/re]: You forgot. No lube.

sati demise

[re=646043]Lud[/re]: connect the dots win. !
never thought of Bush in that way but it makes perfect sense.

GOPCrusher

[re=646061]MOG[/re]: You just described the typical Republiklan voter.

teebob2000

[re=646458]themcw[/re]: He’s up to his elbows in asshole, most likely.

I’m actually not offended any more by someone calling me a “fag” than I would be with someone calling me a “geek”. Both are true, and I’m secure enough in myself not to give a fuck what you mean by it when you call me it. I’ve been called both as a slur, and it’s honestly just kind of made me snicker a little.

PlanetWingnuta

[re=646206]Clungeflaps[/re]: not if you’re a young kid who doesnt quite fit.

Zorg

After his release from prison for the crime of gross indecency or some such thing, Oscar Wilde often used the name Sebastian Melmouth when checking into hotels and whatnot. Melmouth/Mehlman? Coincidence?

Zorg

Oops! Thats “Melmoth,” not “Melmouth.”

Rentboy.gov

If the first three letters of your name were “meh”, you’d probably wait until your forties to come out too.

drrty martini

[re=646631]Neilist[/re]: S&W .500 because he’s a self-loathing size queen. And yes: he will manage to miss.

Libbygirl

[re=646038]BOOBIES![/re]: Well said.

Libbygirl

[re=646073]Tim[/re]: Talk about opportunistic money hungry bastards. I too hate SP for the same reasons.

smellyal8r

I know I’m late to this, but Ken Mehlman is a real a**hole. “I came to the conclusion recently”?? What’s that even mean? While bent over a sofa in Dupont Circle? The NY Times had a funny article yesterday that no one really cares about Kenny’s coming out. I wonder if no Republican cares because they are too busy taking away everyone’s rights and trying to get the Bush tax cuts extended to infinity or, rather, if they no longer care about the “gay agenda” since it doesn’t get much traction anywhere anymore? A nation in a double-dip recession probably doesn’t care about who’s doing whom where. It probably also means that Ken thinks he’s got his and doesn’t need to worry about running for office or running anyone else for office.