About Max

Chapter 9

Raphael………

I hadn't seen Linda for a few days so we agreed to meet for an early drink at the only local pub either of us could tolerate in the village……..the Red Lion. East Anglian pubs have taken a battering over the years from the likes of Watneys in particular. The old brewers like Bullards, Steward and Patterson, Morgans and Lacons have all disappeared now to be brutally usurped by the faceless and all conquering keg beer….Red Barrel, with only Adnams fighting on down there at Southwold. Thankfully that era has now passed as the discerning beer drinker has put his foot down. The Campaign for 'real' beer is here otherwise known as CAMRA.

One of the reasons I hadn't seen Linda was the appearance of Ana in her life. Max hadn't been home for what seems like weeks….well it is weeks……but only two by my calculations but it seems like considerably longer. That's a good sign of course, that he's happy and making his way in his new life and doesn't need me, or his mum.

The problem is that I need him. I lie in bed thinking about him, and the nights we spent together…..the smell of him hot from a run…..waking in the morning and moving into me so naturally……and our expressions of mutual respect and affection. I feel my boy is slipping away from me, and I don't like it. I know it must happen, but I still don't like it all the same. My 'donations' to Linda have almost stopped as her interest in Ana has grown, and in a weird way, I'm jealous. As you might be thinking, I feel a bit 'mixed up' as they say in teenage circles. My work has gone tolerably well, although the best stuff is what I've done when Max has been around me.

I looked at the drawings last night. This is the work that I'd like to show, but I can't of course so…….'se sego' …..scratching around in oils, Raphael.

I came across a book the other day which I found in the bookshop in Cley……the same one where I had found the copy of Kennedy's First Eatin' Primer. They were all black and white studies by a photographer I'd never heard of, and the subjects were mostly young girls and a couple of boys too. I was absolutely knocked out by them……by their sensitivity and beauty…….the innocence of youth and childhood. I had seen Will McBride's work of course. This guy would have had a field day with the likes of Max and Tom……and Ana too.

I don't know how far their relationship has gone…..Linda and Ana…..if anywhere, but this evening I would like to know, and if there's anything interesting to report, I'm sure that Linda will tell me. I would really like to know.

Later…….

'She called in last Sunday morning when Max and Tom went for their run around the village. Do you remember Raf? I rather think the boys paid you a visit that morning, or did I misunderstand that?'

'Yes they did……all hot and sweaty too. So how did it go with Ana then? Was that the first time?'

'First time for what Raf?'

'I meant…..the first time she'd come to the cottage?'

'No, she's been a couple of times now. She has an elder sister in her early twenties, and is a regular paid helper at the farm and brought Ana with her for the first time this year. I've met her and she's very nice and perfectly happy that Ana wants to see me……to practice her English on me.'

'Is that what she thinks?'

'No, I don't think so, but she's fine with it. It's just a little holiday thing…..they're leaving for home when they've done all the autumn work. Ana goes to school in Sherringham, so she's not missing out Raf, don't worry. I bought her the uniform myself. It wasn't much really. She walks down to the main road and gets the bus with the others.'

'Really? That must have been quite fun…….the dressing up bit I mean.'

'Yes it was actually. That's when……'

'Oh yes……that's when what?'

'Well………after she had tried it all on, she gave me a lovely hug and a nice kiss, that's all…..by way of thanks I suppose.'

'And?'

'And…….we both enjoyed it. She didn't want to let go and nor did I. We kissed a bit more and she started to feel my breasts. It was pretty obvious to her that I was getting turned on. I was very reticent to touch her obviously…….she's fifteen…….but she was very encouraging Raf………very……and I rather fell for it. It's been quite a while since…..well you would know how that feels wouldn't you?'

'It? Tell me about it .'

'Hmm….. it . Just use your imagination Raf.'

'Crikey, I wish I'd been there. She's rather lovely isn't she? So, can you tell me exactly what 'it' was? You know me well enough by now don't you?'

She did tell me, and by the end of it I was nicely immersed in her story. It reminded me of her descriptions of her schoolgirl affair with the teacher which I always found incredibly erotic whenever she talked about it, but the other way round, so to speak…….or even the same way round! I have never experienced a young girl, but this one I know I could, perhaps because she looks so androgynous. I have been very careful, usually, with boys, as much as I love and desire them for their beauty of mind and body. Some boys can have that androgynous appearance too, well before puberty.

I remember a boy about my age…..of ten or so, that I used to play with who liked to dress up as a girl, and I often helped him. He could have passed for a girl easily in boys' clothes let alone girls' clothes. Even at that age, he was sexually turned on by the dressing and undressing process. One afternoon he put on his sisters party dress…a nice little rather see-through white number. He didn't bother with the knickers bit. That was a separate event. We were both very excited by this time, and in his case, amusingly so as his little peckerpushed the flimsy material out to the fore. We masturbated mutually standing in front of his bedroom mirror, looking at each other's faces, him holding up his dress and me with my pants pushed right down, until we both came. Huge fun! It was all over inside ten minutes as I recall. Lovely. He was the first boy I ever kissed….properly that is……me as the daddy person and him as the mummy. It was all perfectly lovely. We were both very close to the end when he suddenlygrabbed me while we were still rubbing away on our willies. He planted his mouth on mine with this huge juicy kiss. We both came seconds later. Afterwards we lay on the floor looking at each other, him in his dress and me with my knickers around my ankles. It was all rather comic.

'Ana is deliciously tom-boyish isn't she?'

'Umm……yes she is……but she's all girl too, if you know what I mean.'

'So, are we giving up then………the donating?'

'One more try?'

For once, we were quite up for it, no doubt as a result of our conversation and this time, at my flat because we could get there quicker! This time, it was proper sexual fulfilment out of a genuine desire and affection for each other. I actually enjoyed it, and I'm sure she did too. As usual, I played with her until the time came, being careful not to get too close myself. She's very easy to penetrate fully and there's never any lubricant required in her case. If anything, it's the other way round. She is also very big down there, as I think I have mentioned before, her sensate organ is almost infant penis sized as it emerges from her labia, and if I can get at her at the right angle I can make her come quite easily, and with a bit of self-help at the same time. The warning signs come early with her so I can time my arrival more or less with hers, or shortly afterwards.

So it was tonight. I'd had four days 'off' so I provided for her in good measure by the feel of what passed through my urethra…..about five good squishes of it. If that doesn't work, nothing will, at least not from me. I told her to maximize the chances by staying flat on the bed so my sperm didn't have to swim uphill! It was the last throw of the dice. Not a bad effort for a lover of boys. The rest is in the lap of the gods I guess.

Talking of boys……………..Max makes a surprise discovery.

I'd gone up to the dorm to get my library book………one about a boy in the war in London with all the bombs and so on. I only started it yesterday and I've almost finished it. When I went through the dormitory door, which was closed by the way, there they were…….Tom and Gabriel. Tom was kneeling in front of Gabriel who was sitting right on the edge of his bed looking down, and Tom's head spun round when he heard me, and he got up quickly and started messing around with his bed……sort of rearranging his pillows. Gabriel was busy doing up his trousers, but he'd got his knickers caught up in the zip so he had to stand up to sort it all out, ending up having to pull the whole lot down and expose his little pecker. It was really rather funny seeing them both in a panic…….and to see Gabriel's penis like that………not at all bad for a little boy………not so little actually, at least not like that. Poor old Tom……he was mortified. This was carelessness in the extreme.

You might say I was surprised, and concerned that they were taking an unnecessary risk, and mildly amused!

'What the hell are you two up to then? It's a bloody good job I wasn't someone else isn't it?'

I offered to stand at the door to keep cave, but I think I had well and truly spoilt their moment, or rather Gabriel's moment which I suspect wasn't far away when they were rudely interrupted.

A bit later, up in the common room, Tom told me. I was already pretty sure about exactly what they were doing and I was shocked to say the least. I had never done anything like that in my life…..never even thought about it really, although I'd seen it in a magazine and heard one of the big boys joke about it, but that's all.

'You won't say anything will you Max….please don't…….do you promise?'

'Don't be stupid Tom, of course I won't…..I never would, ever. Anyway, was it good then?'

Was it good? Silly question. Tom gave me a blow by blow account of proceedings which were all instigated by the innocent, or not so innocent as it turns out, Gabriel. The 'angel' Gabriel no less…..well! Apparently, Gabriel [we'll call him 'G' from now on] had egged Tom on to do a 'show me yours and I'll show you mine' routine a couple of nights ago after lights out. Tom doesn't need much egging on at the best of times, and being a nice chap as well, was quite happy to participate in their mutual admiration of their respective private parts, nicely perky to boot. Nothing more had happened that night, or the following morning. But……..that afternoon, G had collared T in the playground after school and asked him to go up to the dorm with him. This is how it went……..

'Please Tom, I need to…….I really do.'

Well, ok then. When they got up to the room, Tom had dutifully sat next to G on his bed ready to oblige the youngster. G was having none of it…….well not that way at least.

'How then Gabriel?'

'You know……..the other way…….like this.'

G had put his thumb in his mouth, and began rather obviously sucking it.

'………..and you've got to undo me……… you do it Tom.'

G had made himself nicely available by putting his knees wide apart while T knelt between them. First, it was his elastic 'snake' belt……easy enough……and then the metal clip that held his trousers together at the top…….no problem.

'Lift your bottom up a bit………that's it……..' demands Tom.

Now the only barrier between Tom's lips and the boy's fair skin was the layer of soft white cotton, delicate and intimate….and perfumed with the essence of Gabriel.

'The weird thing is Max……..he told me to leave his pants on ……to do it through them. Do you think that's weird or what?'

'No weirder than what you were going to do I suppose. Had you ever done it before…..I mean, like that ? You'd have got his stuff in your mouth. Would you have done it then? Would you have let him come in your mouth?'

'Umm…….it's ok actually.'

'Ok?'

'Yeah……..it's way better than you think it would be, really…..anyway, there's no way Gabriel's going to produce any of that stuff is there. Is there?'

'I don't know……you've seen him, not me.'

'So have you. He's got zero hair there…..and he's all squeaky too.

I felt like apologizing.

'I'm sorry Tom for bursting in like that.'

'Why? It wasn't your fault.'

'And you need to be more careful Tom……..more discrete. I don't want to be losing my friend…..I've only just got to know you. There would be hell to pay if they caught you. You do realise that don't you Tom?'

'Umm, I know.'

'Well then. Bloody idiot.'

For a few minutes, we both examined opposite sides of that day's Eastern Daily Press, otherwise known as the 'EDP', not taking any of its sense in at all. All I could see in my mind was Tom's mouth working on Gabriel's hard penis, whatever it was like. I tried to imagine the sensation….the actual coming bit…….if anything came out……what it would feel like……..or even taste like? I had a question for Tom.

'Tom?'

'What Max?'

'Will you show me sometime…….how you do that?'

Linda…………the following weekend.

I told Ana I couldn't see her this weekend, which she was a bit upset about because the girls were almost finished on the farm and they would be going home soon. We had slipped into a very pleasant and gentle groove of love-making together, an hour or so after school until about six when she would go back to the farm and their mobile home……….a large caravan near the pick-your-own fields. We would both orgasm at least twice, sometimes more, stimulated in different ways. It was all very lovely. But Max comes first in my life, especially as he is vulnerable right now…….being away from me for the first time in his life. That thought makes me cry at night………every night……..even if Raf is here. I can make him cry too………..easily, the old softy. We cuddle up and cry together, not just about Max, but everything………..and nothing.

He plays me bits of his church music which he listens to all day long if he's working in his studio. He says he has to stop work sometimes because he can't see what he's doing………he's a very emotional bunny, that's for sure.

We were both talking about Max tonight…….imagining him under his covers at school all alone and thinking about us, maybe, and to the sound of Raf's favourite evening hymn.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I wonder sometimes how Raf's sperm is doing inside me. Something….or nothing? I've made a note of the different times he put it in me. I don't really know how much it needs….not much probably. I think it's a case of quality rather than quantity. If it was a matter of quantity, then I'm probably going have twins, or possibly more. If it's worked, I should know fairly soon.

**** Max has just 'phoned. He asked if he could bring home both Tom and an older boy who looks after them in their dormitory. A boy called Jonathan. Apparently he never goes anywhere at weekends, so Max asked him if he'd like to come to us. He said he would, so Granny has agreed to go and get them tomorrow evening after rugby. I asked Max where we were going to put everyone, and he said Jonathan could go to Raf's place. I shouted to Raf who was in the sitting room, reading.

'Raf…….Max wants to know if both Tom and this Jonathan boy can come this weekend…….he's says that Jonathan can stay at yours…..is that ok? He can use your spare room can't he?'

Raf was fine with the idea, but pointed out that he shouldn't be left on his own in the flat, and that we are in loco parentis. That would mean me being here on my own, but seeing as we've mutually agreed that his overnight presence is no longer a necessity, I guess I can't complain. He's been good, very good in lots of ways……..and of course Ana has become a factor, so things are a bit different. I like having Tom here. He's such a nice boy and a lovely friend for Max. They can do whatever boys do together as much as they like up there.

I've just had one of Raf's drawings of Max framed. Max is standing facing Raf, and nude. It's about three feet tall and a foot wide, and done in soft pencil on very textured paper. It's a very gentle and sensitive piece and I love it, and so does Max. I'm sure some people will think it's a bit odd having a drawing of your naked son in the living room, but it's my house and I want it there. I asked Max what he thought about it. He looked very wistfully at me and told me that he loved being drawn by Raf. I think that said it all. I'm going to ask him if he'll do a similar one of Ana, just in case I never see her again, which is entirely possible.

Max's game was an away fixture so they were all quite late getting here. Raf and I had gone for an early drink at the Red Lion as we knew they would be late. Raf was oddly quiet. I didn't actually ask him, but I thought he was preoccupied with the weekend arrangements. He'd mentioned Jonathan a couple of times, as if it was a subject he wanted to engage me in. The third time his name cropped up, I asked him…..

'So……this Jonathan………have you any idea what he's like? He might be difficult. Are you going to cope ok on your own, after all, he's sleeping in your flat isn't he?'

'Oh, I'll go softly softly, don't worry. I'm sure he'll give me a good insight into Max's life in the big city……and his own too. It'll be interesting. Don't forget I'm used to dealing with these critters. I've seen most things and dealt with awkward situations…….and anyway, he'll be trying hard to fit in I'm sure.'

'So what does he look like then……is he nice looking?'

'Umm……very. He's maybe a fraction taller than Max…..he obviously looks a bit older but younger looking than his age suggests…..he's fifteen……quite gamesy too. I think we'll get on.'

As usual, the boys hadn't brought much with them. After a busy week and rough games at the very end of it, they are not really up to thinking about the details of the next twenty four hours, like 'have I remembered a flannel' and so on. Anyway, between Raf and I, we have anything they might need. Supper went well with Jon integrated nicely into our jolly group. He seemed very at home with us. He's a lovely boy…..very smily and well mannered, and mindful of others. Looking at Raf, it was obvious that he had gone down well with him. He's very familiar with the adolescent and can discretely assess a personality very quickly. My guess is that young Jonathan has passed the test. The other two boys had fun teasing him, which looked to me to be a form of pubescent admiration and Jon seems to enjoy their attention. Max and Tom took themselves off to bed while Raf and Jon said their goodbyes at the front door. It was ten o'clock. An hour later, I had the boys' things through the washing machine and in the dryer.

In bed, I couldn't stop thinking about Ana. Yesterday, I had met her bus, which I hadn't done before. She was pleased and a little surprised to see me. As we walked back to Blue Cottage, she wanted to hold my hand…….just a little thing which I found almost overwhelming. As soon as we reached the cottage, I began to undress her. She loves these very sexual moments…..indeed minutes, as I slowly and reverentially reveal her natural form………..the neat grey pleated skirt…….the plain white blouse………her short white socks………and then on my bed, still white cotton clad, we made gentle love in such nice ways, teasing one another until we both could stand it no more………she the recalcitrant schoolgirl……….and me……..the gentle reprimander….and finally the most intense orally delivered orgasm I can remember. My mouth aches for her, even now. Someone, and it wasn't me, had taught her well. Returning the favour reminded me why I love my own sex. It has been a while.

I'm looking at my bedside clock……….it's just past seven this Sunday morning. She was in my mind as sleep covered me, and she's in my mind now. She's here….….in bed with me, but not physically of course. In a few moments I will imagine we are making love again. The boys are sleeping still, but will wake with each other, as they were in sleep, the sweet things that they are…..usually. The age of discovery……that's where they are now. New things……new feelings…..acne maybe but hopefully not…….hair where there wasn't any before…….worries and feeling anxious about what might be…….what might be one day. In the meantime……up there…….a boy with his friend……..a friend to have forever maybe, or just someone to care for and about for this moment in time.

Ana smiles as I feel her breasts, not even half formed, but her nipples hard to my touch. Now she turns to me…………….warm breath…………warm mouth. The kiss is deep and penetrating…almost painful in its intensity. I turn her around so now she can pleasure me where I need her most. I can reach her too this way. There's nowhere on her body I don't want to explore…….nowhere.

Two boys together.

'Are you awake Tom?'

'Yes…….are you?'

The two boys laugh at Tom's silly joke.

'Did you sleep ok?'

'Umm…….did you?'

'Yeah, good thanks. You're all hot.'

'So are you.'

Pause.

'Did you know you have little brown bits in your green eyes?'

'Yes Tom, I did know actually.'

Giggles.

'Tom? How are you feeling?'

'What do you mean…………feeling?'

'I mean………what are you feeling?'

'This. Do you want to?'

Tom takes Max's hand and places it on his penis. It's what two boys sharing the same bed do all the time. They play with other's penises. If they're not hard already, they very soon will be, and once that's happened it won't be long before they have both experienced orgasm, either by their own hand, or by the hand of the other……first one, by mutual agreement, perhaps without words, and then the other. It's just what boys do, and they love it. Life would not be the same without it in fact. They've always done it and they always will. But……….there's a certain skill that the impish Tom has acquired which may be of serious interest to Max, and who knows who else come to that. How Tom acquired that skill is another story. There's something, however that Tom isn't really aware of that Max certainly is. Tom's tight flat tummy is nice to stroke……not to mention his deliciously hard penis too……but Tom's perfect little bottom is an area of pleasure he has yet to experience properly. Now Max does know about that part of the human anatomy. Did you know that boys' erections vary with regard to how hard they get? Oh yes, they do. Even though he's not the biggest tree in the forest, far from it in fact, he's quite definitely of the hardwood variety…….definitely a touch of the lignum vitaes! Max loves it, and he has it in his hand now. He has his fingers under his friend's balls and presses them against the base of the distended shaft……not too hard……..just enough to give Tom a double pleasure.

'Tom?'

'What Max?'

'You know the other day……….with Gabriel. Was it nice?'

'Umm…….he asked me to.'

'Really?'

'Yes. I was in the games room and he waved his hand at me, like he wanted me to follow him? He was a few steps ahead of me all the time on the stairs. He went into the dorm and sat on his bed smiling at me, so I went over and sat next to him. Then he sort of guided me down onto my knees…….and……well, that's it really. He's obviously done it before…….or had it done to him by someone.'

'So……..how did you know how to do it?'

'It was ages ago, and I never have since…..until then…….with Gabriel………and I still haven't really.'

'Sorry. Would you have had? I mean would you…..'

'Of course I would. I think he was almost there…..all squirmy and everything. He's really sexy.'

'So is it just your mouth? Do you do anything else?'

'Yeah! Play with him with your fingertips……like underneath him……at the same time.'

'What……round his bottom and stuff?'

'No…..round his balls…..while you do the other thing. Gabriel really likes it.'

'But you could couldn't you? I mean, you could go under his actual bottom…….if you wanted to?'

'Yeah…….I suppose so……..if you wanted to. Would you Max?'

I told Tom I would. I'm excited.

'Would you!'

'Yea…..why not. It feels great when you do…….or rather when someone else does it……..for you that is. Haven't you ever then? You must have done surely?'

'No……no I haven't.'

'Anyway, tell me more about Gabriel. Was that the first time then….when I came in?'

'No. It happened the night before. You were asleep because I……..well, I could see you were. Gabriel was looking at me, and then he pulled back his covers and showed it to me. It was as stiff as anything. I put my hand out, but he shook his head, and then stuck his tongue out at me. I couldn't believe it. I knew what he meant alright, so I did it for him……right there and then.'

A pause.

'Tell me then please Tom………..exactly what happened……….exactly.'

He did.

Now we're lying on our sides facing each other. He's completely stiff and so am I. I lie on my back, and while he tells me what happened with him and Gabriel, he gently does me…….really slowly, sometimes stopping altogether, and then starting again.

It was excruciating. I knew that I would come if he went just a little bit quicker, but he didn't…………and I didn't. He knew what he was doing alright, the big teaser. It was a sort of squeezing action, right near the end of my cock, and going up and down a bit too. He'd described Gabriel's little twig and berries exactly, and I could see them in my mind perfectly. He's such a pretty little boy too………..I'm sure I'm going to come…….any minute now if he goes on like this. I can see it…….the way Tom's using his mouth…….and his tongue…………I think Gabriel's going to come any moment now……….he is doing……………..oh no……………..come on Gabriel, please come now……………

'That's not fair Max. I was going to, honestly I was. Why couldn't you wait? Where's it all gone?'

Answer……..not where it was supposed to. Bugger……….there's no way Mum's not going to notice a patch that size.

I think Tom must be good at English. I loved his story of him and Gabriel……it was as if I was really there, the way he told it. I knew what he was trying to do although he wouldn't admit it, and it worked ok! I quite like Gabriel too…..there's nothing to dislike. He looks like he should be in a much younger class, but he is eleven…….but young for his year. He'd only just had his birthday apparently, right at the end of the holidays. Anyway, I've got a different picture of him now…….and Tom come to that. Tom's breathing on my back right now.

After……..you know what……..I turned over, and he got close into me. His breath is all hot on my skin……nice. I know what he wants because I can feel it poking me. I'm going to make him wait a bit longer.

Of course I was only teasing him, bad me, anyway I want a lesson from him.

Tom's lovely. I had my hands in his hair while he showed me what it felt like. He has a lovely mouth too……quite wide…..and when he smiles I can see his teeth in a neat white row. I think he's a bit self-conscious of his teeth, not that they are too big or anything, because he tries to keep his lips together when he smiles. He made a funny gesture with his tongue, but it wasn't until he started that I realised why he'd done it. Then I knew.

'Do you get it Max? It's nice isn't it. Right……..if I go on my back like this…….then you go between my legs………yes, like that………'

I did what I thought he did to me, not very well to start with, but I eventually got the idea reasonably well I think. It's actually quite hard work, but I found one thing he really liked. He asked me to stop for a minute so he could rub himself. I know he needs to have a feeling soon poor boy. While he was doing it, I managed to feel his balls with my tongue, and then I got the whole thing in my mouth. The trouble is that there's too much of my saliva which is starting to run down towards his actual bottom. I stopped it with my finger. That gave me another idea. When I touched him there, he started to make little breathy noises. He's got his legs as wide apart as they would go. I want to look at it.

I'm feeling it now…..round and round with the tip of one finger. I know now that Tom loves this feeling I'm giving him……and I love doing it. I'd love it if Raf did it for me. Tom's stopped rubbing himself now. It's up to me now.

Ten minutes later.

'Was I ok Tom?'

'Uhuh.'

'I wasn't was I…….but I'll get better……I promise. By the way, you never told me how you learnt to do that.'

Tom cuddled into my back with his arms around my tummy. He kissed my neck and my eyes got watery. How weird is that? I couldn't help it, they just did, and it made my pillow a bit wet. He didn't see me thank goodness or he'll have thought me horribly soppy probably. I love the feel of his hands. He's playing with my tummy button now…..it tickles!

'What's the matter Max?'

'It tickles, that's all. I like it…..do it some more please.'

'I will if you turn over……I want to see you.'

I did turn over.

'Have you been crying Max?'

'Only a bit.'

Tom has lovely big brown eyes and he's staring right at me now………and he's smiling too. I know my eyes are still watery.

'You're silly Max but…….'

'But what?'

'But……nothing. What's this little thing then? Can I?'

The cheeky sod. Anyway, he did it. It's the first time I've ever come like that . I don't know whether I told you before, but I can get stuff now. Tom knows I can, but it didn't stop him doing it until…….well…….I didn't need my hanky afterwards, put it that way. We looked at each other, like some sort of surprising thing had happened to both of us, and it really had. It's a first for me, and because of the other thing I just mentioned, it was a first for him too.

'Was it ok then Tom? What was it like?'

'A bit weird……quite nice though because it was you Max. I wouldn't have minded what it was like so long as it was you.'

We held each other for ages……..and something else too. Tom started asking me about Raf.

'You know when he was in your bed Max…..Raf I mean…….does he?'

'Does he what Tom?'

'Does he do what I just did?'

'No he doesn't. He doesn't do anything apart from be with me really….maybe feel me a bit, that's all. It's nice though. He won't do anything else. I keep hoping he will, but he won't. I know he's excited because I can see he is.'

'Really? How big is it….when it's stiff?'

'Quite big…….way bigger than me.'

'Where does he touch you then?'

'Nice places………he likes that, but not inside or anything like that. I like it. He's got that jelly stuff. I've seen it in his bathroom.'

A pause for thought. Then Tom said something that sent a wave of panic through me.

'He's scared you'll say something…….report him to someone. That's why he won't do anything. He doesn't trust you Max. He doesn't trust you not to say something to someone……..that's why he won't do anything. It's obvious isn't it?'

It is to Tom, and of course he's right…….ridiculously right, and I could never see it.

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