The River - Barbara Stephan

Barbara Stephan brings us her single The River. On the original single front cover artwork we find Ms Stephan looking up at us through a fuzzy piece of glass. There isn't much of a river visible, unless it is a river of fuzziness. On the remix we find a babe who is taking a dip in a river. She seems to have forgotten to wear her swimming costume, bikini, or indeed any clothes at all. Perhaps her brain was overloaded with some kind of water-fuzz, should such a thing exist. Perhaps Ms Stephan could help her. Bank!

Wired For Sound - Cliff Richard

Cliff Richard claims to be Wired For Sound. On the original single front cover artwork, he is at least standing in front of a microphone which presumably is wired up to some equipment, though it could be a radio microphone in which case it would be wireless. Then again, it was the 1980s so, yes, it's more likely to be wired. On the remix we find a babe standing on a rooftop wearing headphones that are not wireless, as the wire can clearly be seen casting a shadow on her body. And wouldn't you know it, her wireless bra has fallen off, as have many other of her clothes. Bluetooth!

Life Is Too Short Girl - Sheer Elegance

Some song titles just lend themselves to being remixed and Life Is Too Short Girl by Sheer Elegance is just such a song. The original single front cover artwork is typical for the 1970s showing photographs of the band members against a fetching brown background. On the remix we find a babe who is wearing an elegant, sheer negligee. Luckily for her, it is not too short, nor is it too long, as the hem just covers her apparent lack of underwear. Segment!

The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve

Unfortunately for The Verve, The Drugs Don't Work. Also unfortunately, the original single front cover artwork gives no indication at all of the nature of the ailment they are trying to remedy, or the type of drugs that they were intending to use to do so. On the remix is a babe puffing away on what looks like something that could contain certain types of drugs. The ailment she is trying to remedy seems to be an over-reliance on fishnet tops. Reef!

Colourblind - Darius

Another remix for Darius. On the original single cover artwork for his song Colourblind (or colorblind as we would write it in the US) (or black and white as Jack who works in the web development team says it should be called) we find just an image of the lead singer. On the remix we find a babe who is walking along a beach wearing multi-coloured (multi-colored) socks and carrying a blow-up beach bed in the same colour-scheme (color-scheme). Those heels on that sand are not a good idea. Nor are certain other elements of her outfit. Wrap!

Another Girl, Another Planet - The Only Ones

The original front cover artwork for Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones has a big hole in the middle which is just shouting out for a remix. And on the remix, the hole has been filled with a drawing of babe wearing a space suit, though oddly, in addition to having a helmet for her head, the suit also seems to have clear bubbles for her boobs. Obviously there is some future need for this that those of us from a past era cannot comprehend. Pop!

Strictly Business - EPMD

Strictly Business is both an album and a single by EPMD. The original cover artwork shows the two band members lazing about in their recording studio. A nice touch is that they are wearing matching black and white sweat-shirts. The remix is much more business-like, as we find a mature babe in the office with sales charts behind her. It looks as if sales are doing badly, so she has resorted to wearing only lingerie as an encouragement to buy whatever it is they are selling. Sold!

Red Light Spells Danger - Billy Ocean

It is a well known fact that a Red Light Spells Danger. Traffic signals are a good example. Pass the red light and you are in danger. Is this what Billy Ocean was trying to tell us on the original cover artwork of his single? Walking along in a suit, with a vaguely red background. Is that dangerous? On the remix is a different kind of red light danger, one that involves babes, standing on streets, in lingerie. We all know what kind of danger that presents to your health. Scarlet!

You Showed Me - Salt 'N' Pepa

What is on show, when You Showed Me, what was it that was shown? On the original single front cover artwork by Salt 'N' Pepa, the band members all seem to be looking at something, but what is it that they are being shown? On the remix is a guy giving a thumbs-up, presumably for the busty mature babe next to him whose outfit shows plenty to start with. Maybe she showed him in more detail which is why he is happy and smiling. Truth!

Changes - Chris Lake Featuring Laura V

Nothing screams Changes better than rainbow lens-flare. At least that is what we would be led to believe if the original front cover artwork of this single by Chris Lake Featuring Laura V was our guide to all things visual. On the remix we find a babe who is either getting dressed, or undressed, or could be in the middle of doing both and is therefore changing. How many times she changes her clothes in a day is definitely not zero, and maybe she changes many times. Strapping!