CONFIRMED: Reagan Still Dead And J Ho is Married

Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. You’ve been married now, like 33 times. All the marriages have lasted less than one year. You’ve broken off a high profile engagement to the third most boring man on the planet, Ben Affleck (behind Harrison Ford and The Pope). What in God’s (who says I’m not religous) name makes you think that a marriage to a man, who cheated on his wife, fathered her two children, and who just obtained a quickie divorce in the Dominican Republic five days earlier, will work?

If Mario Lopez can cheat on Ali Landry, I have a pretty good feeling that Marc Anthony can cheat on Jennifer Lopez. And on the flip side, I’m sure Jennifer will find love on the next film set, and forget all about the skinny ass salsa queen she just married.

I think it’s very obvious that she needs, desperately needs, the attention of men, that having a boyfriend/husband is necessary for her sense of identity. That’s pretty sad. I wonder if her father was around when she was growing up, and if he was, was he the detached sort ’cause that would explain a lot of her behavior.

I think it’s very obvious that she needs, desperately needs, the attention of men, that having a boyfriend/husband is necessary for her sense of identity. That’s pretty sad. I wonder if her father was around when she was growing up, and if he was, was he the detached sort ’cause that would explain a lot of her behavior.