Your Star-Stalking -- er, Spotting -- Guide to TIFF

You know you have one. Don't pretend that you don't! We're soooo onto you.

Yes, I'm talking about The List. The list of celebrities you want to stalk during the Toronto Film Festival. You may cloak this desire in different, less creepy language than 'stalk.' Such as 'Oh, I wouldn't mind bumping into Brad Pitt' on the street. Y'know, totally coincidentally.

Maybe your eyes would meet Jon Hamm's as you linger over a latte in Yorkville and organically strike up a conversation. Or, who knows, maybe you'll be pressed against George Clooney on the streetcar (it's not completely beyond the realm of possibility! Rachel McAdams and Michael Sheen were spotted riding the subway in Toronto a few months ago).

My own list of people I totally wouldn't mind bumping into includes Michael Fassbender, Alexander Skarsgard, Adam Scott, Rodrigo Santoro, Bill Nighy and Chris Pratt, who would ideally be with his lovely wife Anna Faris. And, it probably goes without saying, but spotting Brangelina in person would be fascinating, if only to see a) if they really look that good in person, b) how people around them would behave and c) if I could retain my own composure during such a sighting.

Stalking celebrities is hard work, so I've taken the liberty of preparing this handy little cheat sheet for all of the biggest targets -- er, stars -- to make your life a little easier. You're welcome.

Target # 1: BrangelinaWhy you want to see them: Because, obviously.Where you WILL spot 'em: Dazzling the crowd with their remarkable beauty and undying love along the red carpet at the Moneyball gala.Stalker deets: Friday, September 9. 6:30PM, Roy Thomson Hall.Where you MIGHT spot 'em: Taking the kids on the rides on Centre Island. The Brange seems to be big on fun family outings these days (they recently took the kiddies to see 'Wicked' in London).

Target #2: George ClooneyWhy you want to see him: It doesn't get much foxier than this silver fox. Plus now that he's newly single, everyone is dying to see who -- if anyone -- the wily bachelor will have on his arm.Where you WILL spot him: Sauntering down the red carpet at the gala presentation of his flick 'The Ides of March.'Stalker deets: Friday, September 9. 9:30PM, Roy Thomson Hall. (Just stick around after stalking Brangelina earlier in the evening.)Where you MIGHT spot him: Knocking back some drinks with his pals Brangelina at the Park Hyatt, where the Brange has been known to stay.

Target #3: MadonnaWhy you want to see her: To see the minions trembling in fear while attending to her Madgesty's every whim.Where you WILL spot her: Waving to the common folk on her way into the 'W.E.' premiere.Stalker deets: Monday, September 12 at 6:30PM, Roy Thomson Hall.Where you MIGHT spot her: Window-shopping along Queen West with her daughter Lourdes, in search of inspiration for their Material Girl fashion line.

Target #4: Blake LivelyWhy you want to see her: Is Leo with her? Where's Leo? Leonardo!!!! (I know, I know. He's filming 'The Great Gatsby' in Australia. But stranger things have happened!)Where you WILL spot her: Posing on the red carpet leading into the 'Hick' premiere.Stalker deets: Saturday, September 10, 4:30PM, Winter Garden Theatre.Where you MIGHT spot her: Chilling poolside on the Thompson Hotel roof. It's the city's new It spot, so it would make sense for the It girl to be seen there.

Target #5: Ryan GoslingWhy you want to see him: To see the outline of his rock-hard abs in person.Where you WILL spot him: Bro-mancing it up with Clooney on the 'Ides of March' gala red carpet.Stalker deets: Friday, September 9. 9:30PM, Roy Thompson Hall.Where you MIGHT spot him: Shopping for artisan cheese at Global Cheese in Kensington Market. He's been spotted around the Market before, and how could anyone go to the market without picking up some awesome cheese?

Target #6: Juliette LewisWhy you want to see her: She's a wee bit crazy, which means anything could happen. She could be this year's Nick Nolte!Where you WILL spot her: Strutting into the 'Hick' premiere.Stalker deets: Saturday, September 10, 4:30PM, Winter Garden Theatre.Where you MIGHT spot her: Tossing back some brewskies (or a non-alcoholic beverage, perhaps?) at the Horseshoe Tavern or the Bovine Sex Club. The lead singer of Juliette and the Licks would likely feel right at home at one of Toronto's legendary rock bars.

Target #7: Ewan McGregorWhy you want to see him: Because he's awesome, and quite charming to the regular folks by all accounts.Where you WILL spot him: Amiably greeting fans as he walks into the 'Salmon Fishing in the Yemen' premiere.Stalker deets: Saturday, September 10, 7PM, Princess of Wales theatre.Where you MIGHT spot him: Indulging in some fine Italian cuisine at Sotto Sotto in Yorkville, where he has been seen dining in the past.

Target #8: Megan FoxWhy you want to see her: To see if that 'negative' Marilyn Monroe tattoo is gone yet. I, personally, want to see David Silver up close. Let's hope she arrives with her hubby in tow!Where you WILL spot her: Sashaying into the 'Friends With Kids' premiere. Bonus hottie alert for the ladies: Jon Hamm and Adam Scott will be there, too.Stalker deets: Friday, September 9, 6PM, Ryerson theatre.Where you MIGHT spot her: Grabbing some late-night grub in Chinatown after a night on the town, away from the insidery Yorkville hotspots.

Target #9: BonoWhy you want to see him: Quite frankly, I don't get his whole appeal. But I know I'm in the minority here. You tell me why everyone goes nuts for the man in blue shades!Where you WILL spot him: Looking cool in his shades on his way into the 'From the Sky Down' gala.Stalker deets: Thursday, September 8, 8pm, Roy Thomson HallWhere you MIGHT spot him: Popping up on stage at that weekend's Pearl Jam concert on Sunday at the ACC. He's done it before!

Target #10: Keira KnightleyWhy you want to see her: To see what she's wearing!Where you WILL spot her: Gliding into the premiere of 'A Dangerous Method.'Stalker deets: Saturday, September 10, 6:30pm, Roy Thomson HallWhere you MIGHT spot her: Fluttering about atop the Park Hyatt hotel, where one of our editors spotted her last year.

If you've read this far, you get a reward! Our HUGE insider tip: All the celebrities (at one point or another) will be entering/leaving the Intercontinental Hotel on Front Street in Toronto -- including Olivia Wilde, Alexander Skarsgard, Glenn Close and other major stars. This is the place to celeb spot/watch.