On•tol•og•ica! | änˈtäləjikə! | noun, verb 1. A ﬁlm about Everything.2. An epic and mind-bending trip through Reality at all levels.3. An award winning independent experimental feature film in which virtually every major area of human knowledge and experience is explored. Including, but not limited to: cosmology, quantum physics, evolutionary biology, spirituality, sexuality, neurology, philosophy, and cucumber-ology. All ideas and concepts are explored in an original, entertaining, and artistic way. You’d obviously have to be a complete idiot not to see this ﬁlm. It even has giraffes in it.4. An experimental cinematic creation that deﬁes traditional categorization. Not to be confused with either a ﬁctional narrative or a documentary film.5. An experience unlike any experience that has ever been experienced. Not dissimilar to the act of loading the Universe into a shotgun and ﬁring it into your brain. See also: Mindfuck.6. The blissful realization of the True Nature of Reality, the Universe, and Everything. A bite from the Cosmic Cucumber.7. The satisfaction of Hidden Desires for the Unknown Pleasures of Eternal Lust. An Existential Orgasm. No mind shall be left unblown.