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Hey Jihadis

So sorry this is not the site you were probably looking for. I have analytic software which lists who visits here by what search terms are used.

Still, make yourself at home. Please take a load off, provided it does not go boom. I find you guys somewhat distasteful, but I'll give you a pat on the back (if you are not wearing one of those special vests) for your equality in suicide operations.

It is refreshing to see that in this one action, you actually allow females to participate. How very early 20th century of you all. . .

The ‘First Lieutenant’ (In Royal Navy speak; aka, the ‘Jimmy’ or “Jimmy-the-One’, or the ‘XO’).
The ‘Jimmy’ on HMS London walked on water as far as I was concerned (he was also well received by the ships’ company).

A true sea ‘dit’ for your titivation…

One early beautiful summers morning tied up alongside in Plymouth, with the sun glinting off a flat calm sea and squawking gulls floating high above; in tune with a combination of various aroma’s; fresh baked bread, salt water and fragranced engine fumes, interspersed with pipe’d ‘messages’ through the ships tannoy system. All was well. All was very well!

I was stood ram-rod straight on the starboard waste, that led to the aft end flight deck and the gangway. Two new marines would be shortly embarking and I wanted to view them off-guard to size them up (as was my way)!

Out from a hatchway stepped the ‘Jimmy’, he walked up to me and politely broke into conversation; (he, in impeccably clipped Queens english) “Good morning Colour’s, how are you this fine day, etc, etc, etc, we were chatting about the RM detachment and the deployment ahead of us when he suddenly paused and politely said “excuse me, I am about to issue a loud bollocking, would you awfully mind”?
(I turned my head slightly to avoid the 1000 decibel ‘boom’ that I knew he was capable of! Virtually the whole of the on-coming watch were leaning on the guide rails, ogling a brace of ‘Jenny Wrens’ as they walked alongside the ship to their on-shore stations).

In ‘Non Political’ language (Hurrah) that only Her Majesties matelots would love and understand, the ‘Jimmy’ let loose!
“Stop leaning on the f*****g guard rails and get your f*****g arse’s mustered; I want three volunteers and a senior rank for a shitty job”!

As the exclamation mark of the sentence ended he switched back to utter politeness and to our previous conversation.
(From the on-coming duty watch there were three sailors, and one Petty Officer who would regret waking up that morning)!

“Good one Sir” said I “now if you will excuse me, it’s my turn”; I had observed my two detachment marines stepping out of the duty landrover; one wearing his beret of green, and one with it tucked into his waist band (one of my pet hates)!

I let rip in the time honoured fashion as befitting a ships Sergeant Major, who wished to set & maintain the standards of the Corps for all to hear and see.
I out *BOOMED* the Jimmy and my expletives made his bollocking sound like a child’s nursery rhyme.

As the ‘Jimmy’ strode away he said “well done Colours, impressive! I will have to brush up on my gutter terminology”. I stood proud in the knowledge that he would have to study hard, very, very, hard…

In today’s world this officer could have found a more imaginative way to be insulting to the crew than this…after all, after apologizing to me, most of those who outranked me, usually found ways of providing unpleasant and offensive news anyway, despite political correctness and everything else….this former enlisted guy probably fell back on former behavior that some of the wusses he now has to command which they found offensive…there is so much to be offended by today….wow….k

CP: I always like direct and straightforward. I had a boss who was the opposite and it was painful to work with him.
ND: Great post by the Master Chief. Thanks!
EB: Interesting. We use First Lieutenant for the person in charge of the deck division. As for your Jimmy, yes that is a man.
Kris: You and I have a mutual friend who is a near-peer with his CDR. And he did indeed fall back on old ways.