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Unlimited Gigs Bitterness

Too bad there isn’t a TV show about some guy watching TV. That would be a great show about me.

The nice thing about being lazy and watching TV a lot is that you get to observe a lot. When you do a lot of observing you start to notice trends. Trends like the Hallmark Channel rotating the same twelve actors and actresses, the shows always ending with a kiss and the abrupt ending and the big town girl moving to the small town and hating it at first but then realizing that she loves it. That is just three things off the top of my head, and that is just about the Hallmark Channel.

I also observe television commercials a lot. There are the legal drugs everyone is trying to sell. The first identifies the problem (a minor cough, itchy skin) tell how this medication will solve it, then they list every side effect known to man, even thoughts of depression and death. Sometimes they even mention pain after death, which is something only legal drugs prescribed by a doctor can do to you.

Remember when cell phones were a thing?

Another trend is the aggressive selling of phones. It might be because the available phones right now are $1000+. They throw in every possible feature, say their camera is better and then tell you that you can get unlimited gigs per month. I think that means they let you constantly stream on your phone in the middle of the high desert or low tundra, but I was hoping that it meant unlimited gigs as in “as many side hustle jobs” as you want.

I keep hoping that it means the latter. As awesome as my job is, it isn’t paying me $20,000 a month yet. I keep trying to get you guys to start buying my recommended products, but apparently, I’m not famous enough for you to just blindly buy things I recommend just because I have a famous face. I guess I will have to buy one of those costly phones with the unlimited gig plans they are offering.

I just hope that I don’t have to take every single one that comes along. Let’s just remember that I’m lazy and prefer to sit on a couch. If the gig involves going outside and doing something or any kind of effort, I’m not cool with that. However, if it means I can sit on my couch, and type a few things, or take pictures from my perspective, then I’m down.

What do you guys think? What are some of the patterns you see when you are observing? What are some gigs you would take if you could get unlimited ones?

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Unlimited Side Gigs Ben

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6 Comments on “Unlimited Gigs Bitterness”

Observation tells me I should NOT open that next Christmas card I just got in the mail…what the hell is the deal with freaking glitter? Can we not put it on everything so that it doesn’t get on me and everything near me? Sorry peeps, if you sent a Christmas card to me, it is going unopened. Besides, I don’t need a four page letter to tell me about your family’s year? Did you forget I stalk you Facebook?

I was at my niece’s wedding and they gave out glitter sprayers to everyone as the couple left and we were cleaning that stuff off the streets for hours. I’m sure they are still there from two years ago too.

You know those “business reply” envelopes that come in your junk mail? Yeah, they have been known to be returned with glitter in them…not saying it was me (because you know people are watching) but it was someone I know.

About Me

Greetings Bitter People of the Internet. My name is Bitter Ben and I started blogging when I got fed up. Talking to people, listening to them complain and blame me for things I had nothing to do with. A long time ago, I learned in marketing that you should find a need and fill it. I started noticing that a lot of people like to complain about little things, but they felt ashamed to do it, because they felt like they were being petty.

I came up with the idea to start a 900 line (1-900-BITR-BEN), where people could call and complain about all the little things that drove them crazy, but the twist was that the Customer Service Rep could also complain back. This would not only allow all the complainers to get it out of their systems, but the call would be longer and I would get more money. This lead me to come up with my tag line, “We make bitter better.” That idea failed because of a number of reasons, so instead I did the next best thing.

I started my blog www.bensbitterblog.com, and it was a huge success. I had 10,000 loyal bitter followers, but that blog was ruthlessly and painful taken from me by WordPress. Read more here and here.

A blog wasn’t enough for me though. I wanted T-shirts, Bitter Themed Restaurants, and maybe even a last placed sports team. Since my blog was stolen from me, I decided to start this one, that includes everything Entertainment, IE Bitter Entertainment Network, or BEN.

This means as soon as I get up and running. I am going to start an actual television network, via YouTube where you will see everything related to Bitterness. Buckle up, it going to be a bitter ride. For now, jump into this bitter filled environment, where you are free to complain as bitterly as you like. No matter how petty, all bitterness is free to roam these wide open bitter halls, or meadows if you prefer. Comment the heck out of every post, because you can be sure I will comment right back with more bitterness. Let’s “Make Bitter Better”.