14. I’m assisting an end-stage COPD patient in getting off his bed when we had this little chat together:

“Is having sex contraindicated to my condition?”“Yes, definitely.”“Will I die if I do it?”“There’s a high chance.”“Then I would be glad to die in bed with you.”

15. I’m assigned to a 90 year old female patient diagnosed with dementia. When turning the patient in her bed, she suddenly shouted:

“Come on, just get on top!”

16. After getting my patient’s temperature, who is just a 10 year old boy, he said:

“You should get your temperature as well.”“Why”“You look hot.”

17. I’m changing the diaper of my 86 year old male patient:

“Sir please spread your legs a little bit more.”“I’m the one who should be asking you that.”

18. I’ll always remember the brief conversation I had with my first patient in the correctional facility’s hospital.

“Good morning, I’m Anna and I will be your nurse till the afternoon.”“Listen, I know I have Chlamydia and herpes down there. But if you want to, I can wrap it!”

19. During my first rotation as a student, we were assigned to the geriatric ward. After providing perineal care to an elderly female patient, she said:

“Well now that you got it all cleaned, are you ready for it?”

I tried my very best to not laugh at it.

20. My patient is a sweet old lady. One night, I was about to drain her urine bag. The lights were off and I did’t want to wake her so I entered quietly and looked for the urine bag hanged underneath her bed.

“Honey?”“It’s just me, your nurse.”“You don’t have to sneak, you should have asked. I’d love to. Move over here beside me.”

Do you know more nurse pick up line stories from your work? Pick up lines from patients can be either creepy or funny. But still, hearing pick up lines from patients is one of the most unforgettable moments nurses will experience at work. Share your patient pick up line experiences with us in our FB page.