From a corporate giant’s ill-advised DIY cancer treatment to a toddler’s remarkable appetite for writing implements, these items didn’t all count among the year’s most important news, but they were definitely its most unexpected. Below, a completely subjective (and sometimes silly) list of ten health stories that surprised us in 2011

In a world where mobile telephones have become virtually an extra human appendage, the news was unsettling. Reviewing all the available evidence, the International Agency for Research on Cancer — a World Health Organization offshoot — concluded it is possible use of cell phones could increase the risk of a gliomas, a type of brain malignancies. Just to muddy the issue, though, a large Danish study of health databases published in October concluded there was no increased risk of cancer. All current research on the topic, though, suffers from the same basic pitfall – the advent of widespread cell use is so relatively recent, possible cancers may not have had time to develop.

The small, 1998 study by Andrew Wakefield, an English doctor, that suggested there was a link between the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine and autism has long since been discredited, not least by a slew of more definitive research that showed no connection. But the British Medical Journal shocked the medical world in January by concluding that, not only was the study bad science, it was fraudulent. Citing the work of an investigative journalist, Brian Deer, the BMJ said Dr. Wakefield misrepresented or altered the medical histories of all 12 subjects in his study. The autism-vaccine scare, accelerated by a host of celebrity advocates and often-uncritical media coverage, has led to reduced immunization rates and outbreaks of childhood diseases that had been all but eradicated.

When the Apple founder succumbed to cancer of the pancreas in October, it seemed like the sad but inevitable result of a malignancy that is well known to kill rapidly after diagnosis. Then news emerged that Mr. Jobs had a rarer, less virulent form of the cancer, yet delayed the surgery doctors prescribed for nine months so he could try various alternative remedies. By the time he finally was operated on, the cancer seemed to have spread and Mr. Jobs grew to regret his decision, said his biographer, Walter Isaacson. “I think that he kind of felt that if you ignore something, if you don’t want something to exist, you can have magical thinking.”

Every year, health researchers amuse us — not always intentionally — with studies that examine, well, less-than-weighty issues. In that tradition, Dutch scientists published a study that dared to answer the pressing question: do people make better decisions with a full bladder, or when not needing to urinate? They suggested that those with full tanks are wiser in their choices, perhaps because the same parts of the brain that stop us from wetting our pants impose self-control on decision-making, too. “Maybe you should drink a bottle of water before making a decision about your stock portfolio,” Dr. Mirjam Tuk of the University of Twente suggested to the Daily Telegraph.

The Catholic Church famously — or infamously, depending on one’s perspective — opposes the use of artificial contraceptives, even when it might curb high birth rates in impoverished lands. Two Australian scientists, though, recommended in a commentary in the journal Lancet that the Church let the most chaste of its flock — nuns — go on the pill. The concern is not sisters getting it on with brothers, or similar naughtiness, but the fact nuns are at unusually high risk for breast cancer, probably because of nulliparity — never having given birth. That means more periods, translating into greater danger of breast, ovarian and uterine cancers. The Australian doctors cite evidence that birth-control pills could curb the effect.

Vitamins are big business; many Canadians assume that downing supplements is good for their health, and the more the better. A couple of studies this year offered new evidence that the picture is hardly that clear-cut, though. One, in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found that older women taking multi-vitamins were at slightly higher risk of death than those who didn’t. The other suggested a greater risk of prostate cancer among men who took high doses of vitamin E. The authors of the multi-vitamin study noted that the supplements were originally meant to address actual deficiencies in the diet. Now they are taken in larger quantities to try to boost health, but there is “little justification” scientifically for that, the researchers said.

Rivalry between the medical specialties is a little-known but real phenomenon, with doctors sometimes fighting, for instance, over the right to treat certain patients. A study published in the British Medical Journal’s humorous Christmas edition, though, diluted the one-upmanship down to a more elemental level, comparing the grip strength and intelligence of orthopedic surgeons and anesthetists. The result: the surgeons are both stronger and smarter. Anesthetists “should find new ways to make fun of their orthopaedic friends,” concluded the researchers, who not surprisingly are all orthopedic surgeons.

For years now, we have heard about Canada’s dire shortage of physicians, which has left millions without a family doctor and lengthy waits to see a specialist and undergo specialized treatment. Governments have boosted medical-school enrolments, but problems still persist, with one report suggesting wait lists actually got longer in the last year. Against that backdrop, a baffling story is unfolding: doctor unemployment. The National Post found that newly trained graduates in a number of specialties — from radiation oncology to orthopedics — are struggling to find positions. In some cases, experts say, provinces increased funding to train more doctors, but do not have the money to actually employ them.

In the ongoing debate over the merits of Dr. Paolo Zamboni’s theory of what causes multiple sclerosis and how to treat it, supporters of the Italian physician have suggested MS specialists — who are almost universally skeptical of his ideas — suffer from a clear conflict of interest. With many receiving funding from drug companies, they are overly wedded to pharmaceutical treatments, Zamboni boosters argue. A National Post investigation, though, revealed a significant commercial side to Dr. Zamboni’s MS research, as well. Long before news of his work on the disease emerged in glowing media accounts, he had taken out several patents around his theories. What is more, he worked closely with an Italian manufacturer — and received some funding from it — as it developed an ultrasound machine designed specifically to diagnose the neck-vein narrowing he contends is behind MS.

How big does someone have to be to swallow an entire pen? Not very, Montreal doctors reported in a bizarre case study this year. They described a two-year-old girl who ingested a ballpoint pen, and published X-ray images showing the implement extending most of the length of her abdomen. It is believed to be the longest rigid object ever found inside a young child. “The first thing that enters the head is ‘How on earth could she have swallowed something so long?,’ ” recalled Dr. Lily Nguyen, the ear, nose and throat specialist who led the removal procedure. Other physicians recounted their own foreign-object tales, involving everything from toothbrushes to Afro picks.