It's Official: DreamWorks, Universal Hitched

The Dept. of Forgone Conclusions forwarded a memo this morning confirming that DreamWorks has settled with Universal as its new distribution partner for the next five years, officially ending months of speculation and finally slicing the last thread connecting the 'Works to its exes at Paramount. The partnership reinstates Steven Spielberg and Stacey Snider's working relationship with their old friends at the studio, but far more more importantly, it sets up a potential blood feud with a nemesis no one dares face when push comes to shove.After all, it's hard enough facing a happy Brian Grazer, whose Imagine Entertainment is also headquartered on the Uni lot, where it cranks its own fistful of prestige titles every year. Imagine evil Grazer, suspiciously adapting a Jokeresque grin and pitting his own interns versus DreamWorks assistants in a climactic time-bomb face-off after Snider usurps yet another plum release date for Untitled Shia LaBeouf Sequel. It could happen, reports The New York Times:

[Uni president Ron] Meyer would not discuss anything related to a DreamWorks deal, except to say: “We would be very pleased to be back in business together. We don’t anticipate a real impact on our current or future slate from distributing their films.” [...] Officials at NBC Universal have said that they realize a deal with DreamWorks could upset Universal’s equilibrium and that they will take that into consideration before entering into any kind of formal partnership. But ultimately, the company wants the deal to happen; the money that the company can make by distributing DreamWorks movies — which are hits more often than not — far outweighs any ruffled feathers.

We certainly hope so for Grazer's sake. It's hard times, after all, and you'd be surprised: All that Hawaiian appliance-and-furniture replacement adds up before you know it.