During the slow Monday, when there was five games on the docket, and half of them were Yankees, I started thinking about some either/or’s. Though maybe because I was listening to Elliott Smith — that guy was uplifting! Luis Severino was out doing his norm — 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.20 and 0.93 WHIP with peripherals that are just as gorge — 10.7 K/9, 2.2 BB/9, 2.83 xFIP. First either/or for you, wait for it, here it comes, follow the arrow –> Next year, Luis Severino or Kershaw? Is it even close? Don’t think it is. Okay, next either/or, Luis Severino or every pitcher not named Max Scherzer? Maybe, maybe not. There’s pitchers with better peripherals than Severino right now — Scherzer, deGrom, Cole, Corbin, Kluber and Syndergaard. Throwing the two Mets out because they’re injury risks; Corbin and Cole don’t have the track record; semicolons are fun. That leaves us with Scherzer, Kluber and Severino. So, three’s company, and Severino is Joyce DeWitt. Come and knock on my door! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Didi Gregorius – 1-for-4, 1 run and his 7th steal, hitting .245. Obviously been struggling over the last six weeks or so, but, hootie-hoo, did not realize he had stolen so many bases already. He’s already reached his career high, and is now on pace for 20+ steals. If that came with 27+ homers, that’s a pretttttay, pretttttay good year, even if it comes with a .245 average.

Austin Romine – 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .373. Too bad the Yanks have that other catcher, what’s his name again, Harry Tanchez?

Gleyber Torres – 1-for-7 and his 10th homer, hitting .307. Why do I already want to avoid him for next year at his presumably inflated price?

Greg Bird – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. If you own Bird, and your fantasy team is not named, My Corner Man Is A Bird Your Argument Is Invalid, then I don’t even know you. Also, we go over Bird on the podcast that’s coming later today. You can hardly wait. No, you!

Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-8, 2 runs and his 13th homer. He was hit earlier in the game by Fiers, and words were exchanged, then, later in the game, Giancarlo drilled a home run and stared Fiers down. Fiers is a jackass, but if that gets Giancarlo going, God bless that jackass. Also, Fiers stepping up to Giancarlo is laughable on so many levels. The biggest one is Giancarlo would literally remove Fiers’ head from his shoulders, then squash his cantaloupe with his man-hands. Fiers will wish he sat on his testicles and missed the game like Mr. Belvedere sat on his testicles and missed a week of filming. Snopes verified! Finally, does Fiers think he’s Ivan Drago? He hit Giancarlo in the face in a past season with a pitch and knocked him out for the season. I’m not saying he can’t go inside, but if he hits him shouldn’t he immediately be like, “Yo, my b.” By stepping to Giancarlo, he’s essentially saying he meant to hit him in his face last time. What kind of animal is Fiers?! Besides a Tiger, of course.

Drew VerHagen – 3 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 9.22. Understandable start here, VerHagen is a character created by Anne Rice and what does she know about baseball?

Nick Castellanos – 2-for-8, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .333. Do we have any psychic readers? If so, can you conjure a ghost for me? I have an idea. We need a ghost to stand right next to Castellanos as he’s batting, then just as he swings, we need the ghost to poke Castellanos in the ribs so he jerks up and uppercuts the ball. Hitting .333 is great and all, but is he now a 15-homer hitter?

Leonys Martin – 2-for-7, 3 runs, as he was moved down the order in the 2nd game. The schmotato de Leonys was kinda predicated on him in the leadoff slot, so it’s worth cyclops’ing.

Roberto Osuna – MLB announces yet again they can’t decide about punishment for someone with an assault charge. Good stuff, MLB, keep it classy!

Anthony Banda – Wil undergo Tommy John surgery. This is the third Rays pitcher sent for Tommy John surgery this year. Sometimes the stamp card is just too enticing!

Matt Davidson – Activated from the DL. His back issues are said to be behind him. *Groucho removes cigar, raises eyebrow*

Caleb Ferguson – Will be called up to start on Wednesday. Lot of Cale B’s in the majors recently. I wonder if a bunch of moms heard Cardi B., the feminist icon, jumped in a time machine and went back 20+ years, got pregnant with the intention of having a girl, but had a boy and named them Cale B. And by ‘wonder’ I mean that’s likely what happened. Ferguson only has 47 IP past High-A, but when you lose Kershaw, Maeda, Hill and Ryu you need to make adjustments to short-term plans, which is different than needing to make adjustments in short pants. The Prospect-o-Nator doesn’t love or hate Ferguson — 8.2 K/9, 4 BB/9 and a 4.17 ERA. Sounds to me like a mixed league streamer in the right matchups, and an NL-Only own if he’s in the rotation.

Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-5 and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in as many games. Someone heated up the McCutchoven.

Brandon Crawford – 2-for-2, 2 runs and his 7th homer, hitting .320. Has hits in nine of the last ten games, and has been one of the lone bright spots on the Giants team offensively (not that their pitching has been great either).

Pablo Sandoval – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .277. It’s so baseball that Sandoval is still in the league. If this were football, he’d be out of the sport four years, just off his third arrest, and already on his 2nd year as a preacher.

Jon Jay – 3-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .311, and hitting over .400 in the last week out of the leadoff spot. The Federalist is a schmotato, and very democrat with his production, a little of this and a little of that. He’s definitely LOL, Lots of Littles.

Cameron Rupp – Twins signed him to a minors deal. Molitor said he’s a big Blondie fan, and the thought of walking around singing Rupp-ture is just too delightful!

Zack Littell – Will make his major league debut today, but is reportedly being sent right back down. His pitching tends to get by on guile, which is good for a 42-year-old vet holding onto a career because if he retires he has to go spend time with his wife and kids and that one kid who he’s not sure is his who annoys the crap out of him, but for a rookie, it’s less impressive.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer. Could Little Joey Votto, or as I like to call him, Joey Joey, finally switch the teacher/student roles?

Franmil Reyes – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. That’s five homers in only 17 games, bee tee dubs. Oh, and he has four walks to five homers. Okay, that might be less of a positive, but not to his daddy, Kyle Blanks.

Cory Spangenberg – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, hitting .188. Excuse me, Interstate 188. By the by, did you know interstate numbers that are even go east/west and odd ones go north/south? That blew my mind when I first learned it. Dot dot dot. From a truck driver. Dot dot dot. At a rest stop. I’ve said enough.

Raffy Lopez – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, hitting .191. The Padres have put together a softball team in the world’s largest park. Can they get Jake Fox out of retirement? Or at least as their unofficial mascot. We’re unathletic…like a Fox!

Luiz Gohara – 2/3 IP, 6 ER. I’m just going to grab Gohara for some ratio help, maybe a few Ks and just an all-around solid middle relief–OH MY GOD, MY EYES ARE BURNING!!! DID I USE EYEGLASS CLEANER AGAIN TO CLEAN MY CONTACTS?! MAKE IT STOP BURNING!!!

Ronald Acuna – Has yet to resume baseball activities. The tilde is high, and let’s get moving on. I’m sure Acuña can be a number one…Number one…Sorry, I still have Blondie in my head. Thanks a lot, Paul Molitor!

He pitches in the AL East, and has the most starts of 1 ER or fewer since the beginning of 2017 in all of baseball. Just turned 24. Best player on the Yankees. Imagine if he had Thor’s hair, people might actually pay attention. Great write up Grey!

C: Contreras
1b: Votto
2b: adsrubel
3b: Suarez
Ss: Anderson
Of: Yelich
Of: Mazara
Of: Marte
Ut: Muncy
Bench: Bader, Gyorko, Hoskins, Myers.
DL: Murphy and Seager
SP: Corbin
Sp: Snell
Rp: Kela
Rp: Giles
P: Peacock
P: A. Miller
P: Britton
Bench: Reyes, syndaguard, pivetta, Wacha, Junis.
What advice would you give for this team in a 11 team league? The only relievers available are joe Jimenez, crick, Hughs, Madson, Minter, montas, albers, Yates
, edubray, oday, Sam Dyson, Barnes.
I know to drop Murphy, and Miller, but there isn’t anything available to pick up. Not worth starting, so I kept Murphy because at least when he gets back he should be startable. Miller I guess could be dropped for one of those relievers, but that’s garbage too. I figure wait and see with Miller because those relievers will probrably still be there and still not be closing. There are no holds in this league.
I’m thinking i need to trade. Myers, Murphy, and Junis, for Goldy, and gennet? Or Myers, junis, and yelich, for Trout?

@b the esq.: thanks, wasn’t sure if it would ruin my roster. I’d offer more pitching instead if I new Thor and Reyes would be healthy. Corbin and Snell were $1 keepers so they could be valuable. To a $75 Trout. Even Votto was only $30.

Elliot Smith, Grey? Dangerous stuff, glad you’re still with us. Speaking of roman candles, which (2) brilliant balls of color (or Caucasian) are you launching to someone else’s team for a starting pitcher?

Can we not talk about Godley? He’s torpedoing my NFBC team. I was THIS close to benching him but the 2-start week suckered me in. Who knew I should’ve feared the home start against SF more than @Coors later? Wait, I’m still fearing the @Coors. Why am I still talking about Godley? Get me out of here!

@Grey: You kind of move your head up and down as you scroll. (You do look a little like a meerkat, however, so it’s better if you don’t have to explain it to people: “Uhh…. Godley. 7 ER… Tape… Ratios destroyed…”)

Grey, How about that Sciosciapathic move going back to Parker for the save last night? Sneaky, huh?I can state unequivocally that the reason Scioscia did that is because I picked up Justin Anderson as Blake Parker insurance and was so mistrustful of Jose Guillen’s bitch that I started them both. But I’m in need of saves, so…. Jim Johnson gets the next save opp?

12 team, H2H OPS league, pitching includes QS…my currently owned outfield options are Eddie Rosario, Ozuna, Haniger, Ian Desmond, Chris Taylor, Nimmo, Austin Medows, with Acuna on the DL. My pitching is Bauer, J.A. Happ-ening, Chicken Stripling, Pivetta, Wood, Castillo, and a streamer spot. Ozuna for Garrett Richards? I tried Haniger, was countered with Ozuna. Should I just hold out for a couple days to see if his Sunday Salami lit a fire?

This story about Bellinger potentially being demoted is so maddening… Roberts doomed Cody to fail since benching him after not legging out a double into a triple. Then he sits him on June 1st, in Coors, to open the series. What the hell does Roberts expect from an ego hit like that? It’s complete and total mismanagement of a young star. And Im not just upset because Cody is my prized late round keeper, no siree…

Anyway, question about my AL only 5×5 keeper league. Im in 4th but the guy in 1st is up 33 points on me, and up on 2nd by 23. Hes got JoRam and Trout with strong pitching. Pretty sure theres no catching this guy. Ive been offered this by the 2nd place team:

Abreu (one year left to keep at $26) and McHugh (throw-in) for Kimbrel (cannot be kept next year) and Gurriel (one year left to keep at $9). I’m getting the best player and gotta do it, right? SAGNOF and all… thanks in advance!

Who would you try and move for a pitcher when Betts comes back from the DL? Current options are Treat Urner, Starling Marte, Tommy Pham, Eddie Rosario, and Juan Soto. 12 Team H2H league with keepers. Turner can’t be kept next year and could move Machado over to SS.

Hello Grey,
So that’s why Godley spent all those weeks on my Bench and Duffy was on the wire? Yup, started both in our Yahoo 10 Team H2H Points League because I am a greedy A-Hole who figured one of them might give me one good start, but no. They both suck! I actually don’t blame Duffy that much, as he was playing a semi-talented offensive team, although his stuff is way too good for him to get 0 Ks. Now Godley, that fat D Bag who was staked to a 2-0 lead in SF, and f’n choked it up with a 7 Run gag job. F’n worthless! And now he goes to Coors!!!!! I’m this close (holding fingers very close) to dropping him. Duffy will be gone by tomorrow.

If this were football Panda would have gone full on Nate Newton, except instead of a van full of drugs it would have been a van full of stolen baby back ribs. At his sentencing he’d still have BBQ sauce on the corner of his lip, and he would drive to the courthouse in a 2nd van full of stolen baby back ribs. As a Giants fan, and a fan if 2nd chance stories in general, I’m kind of loving that Panda is still playing, and still playing for my Giants. Dude was a hero and fell so far so fast. I still can’t inagine what Boston was thinking – but it’s good to see Pablo back and smiling and hitting the baseball as he was so clearly put on this Earth to do.

The Gregorious D.I.D. Is creeping back to respectability – dude had one of the worst slumps I’ve ever seen (likely thanks to your “sell high” jinx, if you believe in that sort of thing) but he’s been pretty consistent. I think your projection is spot on, but Imma say he finishes with a .265 average. As long as you don’t go jinxing him again, ya jinx. lol

6×6 roto ops and QS. Currently in top spot looking for some SP help. I have the offer of seguera and kneble for McCullers and chris Taylor. Seguera is my only speed guy until Polluck returns. What side do you like?

@Gotime: Oh and reports say Jays could call up Vlad to AAA Buffalo by next month. I guess he can hit .400 there instead of .409 at AA and they can claim he needs more “seasoning” before the big call up….. ugh…

Anybody have an inside scoop on Pirates baseball? As a Marte owner, he hasn’t been the same since his DL stint. I’m wondering if he’s playing banged up/injured. Benched today after a day off yesterday.

Here ya go. I auctualy traded away Goldy for Rendon a few weeks ago and since Rendons salary was only $5 compared to Goldys $35 I feel good about that deal. That same owner now wants to trade him back to me for Robbie Ray at $12. My current staff consists of Corbin Nola Mikolas Hendrickson Morton and Happ. Fair trade? What other pitcher would you trade off for him. Thanks

Good stuff again. Am loving your pitching recommendations. In a 12 team 5×5 roto,I kept Severino this year as 1 of 5. Drafted Morton, Bauer, Wacha on your recommendation. Dominating pitching stats. Sitting 1st by 2 or 3 points. In the same league :-

Nice write-up, Grey. Curious as to who you prefer in a Bellinger for Carlos Martinez swap? The league is 6×6, OPS & K9 are the extra stats. The Trade Analyzer is firmly in the Bellinger camp, but I’m not so sure that it’s that much of a landslide.

@Grey: yeah that’s true, can a guy NOT get a QS even if he goes over 6 innings IF he didn’t start (this might be the exact definition of a QS here); he has gone over 6 innings before, BUT he doesn’t start the game mostly.

@Grey: I blame myself for starting him. He had a month or so lay off, and looked very iffy in his only rehab start at Double A, but I trusted an organization that views Mike Matheny as the man to take them forward..

@Fred Garvin MP: matheny is a reason NOT to have started carmart. madox would’ve been a reason to possibly believe he was ready. but i’m STL’ian, we know all about matheny, i don’t know how he’s viewed elsewhere.

I was about to complain about Corbin when he loaded the bases after giving up an RBI double to Crawford – all with nobody out. Then he proceeds to strike out Bumgarner, Hernandez, and Posey to end the inning. Starts the next inning off striking out McCutchen – loading the bases suddenly got Corbin to refocus!

Even though i own tim anderson. Should I drop Murphy and Bader to get Swanson, and /or a reliever ?
One of these guys, Jimenez, Rondon, edubray, crick, Madson, devinski, Alvarado.?
Or just drop Murphy and grab who? It’s a deep league but only 11 teams. Obp no holds.