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I've just found out that there's a wrestling move called 'Sliced Bread #2'. How embarrassing. Anyway, that's not where the title of this journal comes from. I thought it up when I was in high school and always wanted to use it for something.

Thanks to blogger.com for the hosting and the template. Content is copyright Dennis Relser (M. Elmslie) 2004-05.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

There have been some noteworthy conversations with people since I've been back.

Ron

"So where have you been? You look like hell."

"Thanks."

"Seriously. Are you okay? It's like you've been beaten with sticks and dumped in the swamp."

"Thanks. I was actually afraid that I looked worse than that."

"So are you going to tell me where you were?"

"Oh, hell, Ron, I'd just have to make up some kind of lie for you. Can we skip that part? What have I missed around here? Do I owe you any rent?"

"Nah, that guy Cruickshank covered it. Oh, and I got a car."

"No way!"

"Oh, yeah."

"I said no way!"

"Yeah, though."

"Huh. What kind?"

"It's a reconditioned Brinks truck. I guess it got rolled back when it was a regular Brinks truck, and it was so trashed they stripped it and sold it for scrap. But the guy who bought it put it back together--not with all the vaults and stuff; just like a regular van--and painted it yellow."

"Cruickshank got you to feed the fish? I thought he'd get Nick or someone to do it."

"Five bucks a day, baby! That's a pizza and a movie every week, right there!"

"Or tuition."

"That's pretty funny. You guys were in some kind of fantasy world? Did you bring me anything?"

I knew she was going to say that. In fact, I had prepared for it, and handed her a paper bag.

"You didn't have to do that," she said. "I was kidding." She pulled a T-shirt out of the bag and unfolded it to reveal the phrase, "My Friend Underwent The Ordeal Of The Eft And All He Got Me Was This Crappy T-Shirt". (I was hoping to find it off-the-rack, but actually I had to have it printed up special.)

"I don't get it."

"Neither did I."

"An eft is like a salamander, right?"

"Is it? I guess so."

She pulled the T-shirt on over her jacket. It made her look lumpy and kind of stupid. But whatever. "I can't help but notice that my man isn't back yet," she said. (This was before the whole theater thing. I was in the office figuring out blueprints while talking to her.)

"No. He's okay, though. Basically he just has to beat up a giant and they'll send him home." I hoped.

"Oh," she said, relieved. "Okay, then."

Perseid

The other day Perseid came into the office, helmet and goggles under her arm, after a hard day of crimefighting. "Check it out!" she said. "My first bullet wound." She displayed a nasty-looking graze on her upper arm.