Monday, October 30, 2006

Bush is Showing Considerable Growth

In professional sports there is often this talk of how "chemistry" plays a role in how a team performs. There is no doubt that a disruptive presence in the locker room can wear a team down, just ask Donovan and the rest of the now Owens-less Eagles how much easier it is to prepare for games this season. I agree that having the right team chemistry can help turn a good team into a great team, but not enough attention is paid to the chemistry of players' names. We are now 8 weeks into the 2006 NFL season and I still can't help myself from laughing when I hear the analysts talking about how the Saints' Bush is showing considerable growth…does hearing this on a weekly basis cause a distraction to the rest of the players? Below I graded some pairs of players on different NFL teams to determine the overall chemistry of each team based on player names:

GIANTS: Webster & Short - A+ - George was an ex-NFLer and Mam had a flat top…shows me they're born to play the gameCHARGERS: Lott & Heart - A+ - You can never have too much heartCOLTS: Saturday & June - A - They are a well rested team and ready for the long haulTITANS: Young & Hope - A - Whitney said it best "I believe the children are our future"EAGLES: Short & Barber - A - They focused at the task on handJAGUARS: Hunter & Webb - A - This defense knows how to catch their prey49ERS: Slaughter & Battle - A- - Now this sounds like a football team ready to playDOLPHINS: Hunt & Kimble - A- - The Fugitive was a great movie…your really feel for Dr. Kimble and all he goes throughPATRIOTS: Light & Bruschi - A- - Less filling but still tastes greatJETS: Tutt & King - B+ - They're living largeSEAHAWKS: Willis & Locklear - B+ - T.J. Hooker and Different Strokes were great showsVIKINGS: Hunter & Blue - B+ - Hunter Blue is a great colorBROWNS: Frye & Pool - B - Reminds me of a good bar-b-cueREDSKINS: Thrash & Fox - B - Aggressive defenseCHIEFS: Law & Shields - B - Too many restrictions will wear a team down over a 16 game seasonBUCCANEERS: Moore & Rice - B - Nothing like a second helping of that San Francisco treatCOWBOYS: Green & Elam - B- - Reminds me of a nursery rhymeRAVENS: Brown & Green - B- - These colors are very earthy and work well togetherRAMS: Bulger & Looker - C+ - This has a very "swinging" 70's feel to it…in a bad wayBILLS: Price & Butler - C+ - This has a very Silver Spoons ring to it...and Ricky and Alfonso didn't seem like they could playLIONS: Bell & Hall - C - Reminds me of schoolPANTHERS: Gross & Baker - C - No one likes burnt cookiesSAINTS: Bush & Deuce - D - These two names should never be spoken in the same sentenceCARDINALS: Huff & Rolle - D - They need better conditioning…it's probably why they blew that lead to the Bears in the 4th quarterBEARS: Grossman & Griese - D - Sounds like a bunch of guys that carry around dirty handkerchiefsBENGALS: Houshmandzadeh & Smith - D - Felix and Oscar made a better couple then these twoPACKERS: Jolly & Moll - D- - Have you ever met someone that is happy about having a mole?TEXANS: Brown & Greenwood - F - Why would you have Brown and Green wood…it doesn't make sense and neither do their game plansSTEELERS: Brown & Colon - F - Nothing wrong with having one but they definitely have a Super Bowl hangoverRAIDERS: Bookman & Schweigert - F - These two were definitely picked last in kickball growing upFALCONS: Weiner & Beck - F - I hear he's popular for more then just his musicBRONCOS: Cox & Burns - F - Ouch

Based on my player name chemistry analysis above I would expect the GIANTS and CHARGERS to be playing in the Super Bowl this year…but as we all know, any team can win on any given Sunday…I just wouldn't want to rely on Cox & Burns.