By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

NOTE:After Smackdown concludes, join me live for the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show. You can stream the show live HERE or call to participate: (347) 215-8558 (push “1” after calling if you want to participate on the show with a question or comment).

[HOUR ONE]

-They opened cold with Paige standing backstage in front of a Smackdown logo. She recapped the top happenings at Money in the Bank, then said, “But that was Sunday and we’re just four weeks away from our next pay-per-view extravaganza, Extreme Rules.” She said tonight would determine A.J. Styles’s opponent for that PPV by having the first-ever five-man gauntlet match. She explained how the match works. Then listed Big E, Rusev, The Miz, Samoa Joe, and Daniel Bryan as the five participants. (The crowd reacted the same to the first four, and louder for the fifth.)

-Carmella came out to the ring to celebrate her WWE Women’s Title victory over Asuka. She was without James Ellsworth. She then talked about her own inspirational story in humble tones and said she never thought she was good enough but now she’s become champion. She told every boy and girl to look in the mirror and repeat these words: “‘Mella is Money. Psyche!” She laughed and said she never lacked self-confidence. “I’ve been moon walking and trash-talking since I was in diapers.” She said the lesson for others is “just give up.”

(Keller’s Analysis: This is just too similar to Alexa Bliss’s promo.)

She said they can work twice as hard as her and be only half as good as her. She gloated about beating Charlotte Flair twice and then doing “the unthinkable” this Sunday when she beat Asuka. She said the best part is she did it all by herself. (The announcers did not interject that James Ellsworth had something to do with it, which was an abdication of duty.) Asuka’s music interrupted.

Someone dressed as Asuka walked to the ring, but it obviously wasn’t her. It was, once again, James Ellsworth in an Asuka mask and robe. He unmasked and Graves gasped and said, “Oh, he got us again!” Ellsworth said, “Nobody was ready for Ellsworth. Especially Asuka.” Carmella giggled to the side. He listed everyone that Carmella is better than including Ronda Rousey and Asuka. Asuka’s music played again.

The real Asuka marched determinedly to the ring and Carmella backed into the corner, apprehensive of Asuka’s intentions. Ellsworth got in Asuka’s face, so she gave him a reverse kick to the gut. Carmella then surprised Asuka with a kick to the face. Carmella helped Ellsworth out of the ring and then retreated. Carmella held up her Smackdown Women’s Title belt proudly as she headed backward toward the stage.

-Graves plugged a rematch coming up with The Bludgeon Brothers defending against Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows. Tom Phillips characterized it as an unconventional move by Paige. Then they showed Becky Lynch putting on her goggles backstage. Saxton said it’s good that Becky seems to be in a pleasant mood despite her heartbreak on Sunday. Phillips said she faces Billy Kaye next. [c]

-Billie Kaye and Peyton Royce walked to the ring. Kaye asked Royce where they were. She said Toledo, but it took her three tries to say it right. Kaye asked, “What does one do in Toledo?” They said they have a nice zoo, which explains all of the smelly animals. They laughed. They pivoted to talking about Becky, pretending to interview her. Royce said, in Becky’s accent, that she is a loser. Kaye told Becky to keep living in the past because her present is dismal and her future is Iconic.

(1) BILLIE KAYE (w/Peyton Royce) vs. BECKY LYNCH

Becky took it to Kaye early, knocking her to ringside, giving her several uppercuts, and throwing her back into the ring. Fans chanted “Let’s Go Becky!” A Royce distraction opened up Kaye to take control. They cut to a break, but stayed with the action on split screen. [c]

Kaye had Becky in a side headlock, which Becky fought out of after the commercial ended. What a coincidence. Phillips plugged an event in “Mel-bun, Australia,” wherever that is. Becky threw Kaye out of the ring and then dove off the ring apron onto Royce who got in her path after shoving Kaye out of the way. Becky then rolled up Kaye and applied the Disarm-her for the tapout win.

WINNER: Lynch in 7:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Good basic booking of giving Lynch a win coming out of the MITB disappointment. The finish was a little sloppy, but it was overall fine.)

-The announcers commented on freeze-frames of the Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jeff Hardy. (Usually they do freeze-frames of WWE Network/PPV content, but always show action clips of anything from the TV shows. That was strange.) Then they went to a pre-recorded interview of a silhouetted Hardy backstage with his back turned to the camera. He described with medical terms that would make Gorilla Monsoon proud what happened when Nakamura kneed him. He said instead of unsettling him, his actions made him sharper focused. “My eyes were closed before, now they’re open.” He turned around with his eyelids shut, but eyes painted them. Then he opened his eyes and revealed checkerboard contact lenses. “Shinsuke, I see you,” he concluded.

-Saxton hyped the five-man gauntlet match. Then they talked about the premiere tonight of Sanity. Phillips called Eric Young “a master manipulator and controller inside the ring.” Graves called Killian Dane “a bulldozer from Belfast.” Saxton called Alexander Wolfe the “most erratic member” of Sanity who will do anything to ensure chaos.

-They went backstage to a shot of a brick wall and then shadows and laughter. Young said, “The chaos has arrived!”

-Graves announced Sanity would face The Usos next. (Shouldn’t that be a match that happens after Sanity kick the crap out of people for three or four weeks first?) [c]

-Headlines were shown from media in Australia reacting to WWE’s announcement of the Super Show-Down on Oct. 6 with Triple H vs. Undertaker and Ronda Rousey, John Cena, and other top stars.They showed Tweets from wrestlers expressing excitement at going there.

-Renee Young interviewed Daniel Bryan. She congratulated him on his victory over Big Cass. She asked him about drawing the short end of the stick of the gauntlet match because he’ll be the first to enter. “How are you going to survive?” she asked. Bryan said he won’t survive, he’ll win. He said he proved Sunday that size doesn’t matter and how he’ll beat “three of the best Superstars” in a row who are bigger than him. He listed Big E, Joe, and Rusev. Renee asked, “What about Miz?” He said he was listing three of “the best” Superstars. Bryan then interviewed Renee, asking her if she thinks he can win. She said yes and Bryan smiled and yelled “Yes! Yes!” Renee smiled and laughed.

-The Usos came out and said Sanity are looking to make a name for themselves. They talked about how early in their WWE career they were trying to figure out how to express themselves, wearing makeup looking like Ultimate Warrior. They said they made a name by showing their heart and having a couple screws loose. They said tonight chaos means “U-so-crazy!” They closed with “Welcome to the Uso Penitentiary.”

(2) THE USOS vs. SANITY

Graves said they’re out of their minds. When Wolfe took a run toward the Usos, a brawl broke out even as the lights were still dim for their entrance. They beat up the Usos three-on-two. Phillips said any other team has to be on high alert after what Sanity just did to the Usos.

RESULT: Match never officially started.

-Backstage Anderson & Gallows were getting warmed up backstage. Anderson showed off his abs, then he encouraged Gallows to show his. He hesitated and instead showed off his arms.

-They showed The Bludgeon Brothers backstage standing still. [c]

-They announcers commented on freeze-frames of Styles winning the Last Man Standing match at MITB.

-Backstage Renee approached Shinsuke Nakamura and said he requested time to react to his loss. “What is a loss?” he asked. Renee said she doesn’t want him to pretend he doesn’t speak English. He said he understood her, but he wanted to know how he lost since he is still standing there. Nakamura said Styles is still champion because the referee counted really, really fast and he didn’t count in Japanese, which was very very unfair. She asked for his comments on what Jeff Hardy said earlier. He said Hardy’s eyes may be open, but if he crosses him again, he will close them. He then gyrated back into his locker room.

The Bludgeon Brothers just beat up Anderson and Gallows in dominant fashion. They knocked Anderson out at ringside and splashed Gallows in the ring for a near fall.

NOTE:After Smackdown concludes, join me live for the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show. You can stream the show live HERE or call to participate: (347) 215-8558 (push “1” after calling if you want to participate on the show with a question or comment).

[HOUR TWO]

The Bludgeons grounded Gallows for several minutes. Anderson made his way back to the ring apron and Gallows hot-tagged him in. He hit Harper with a flying body press and then a spinebuster for a two count. Rowan entered and went after Anderson, but Anderson threw him to the floor. Harper then gave Anderson a turning sideslam for a believable near fall. When Harper went to tag Rowan, Gallows yanked Rowan off the ring apron by his legs. Anderson then rolled up Harper for a near fall. Meanwhile, Rowan kicked Gallows into the time keeper’s area. Then the Bludgeons double-powerbombed Anderson for the win.

WINNERS: The Bludgeon Brothers in 6:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Did they give Anderson & Gallows a completely undeserved title rematch just to take heat off Roman Reigns for getting a totally undeserved rematch against Brock Lesnar in Saudi Arabia? Really, though, what was this about? Even Phillips kept calling it unconventional. To have them just decisively beat Anderson & Gallows again seemed strange and not particularly meaningful for anyone.)

-Bryan made his way to the ring for the gauntlet match. He stopped and stared at the Bludgeon Brothers mid-way to the ring in a strange staredown, then he continued to the ring as fans cheered.

-They showed Miz warming up backstage. Then they showed Rusev and Aiden English elsewhere backstage. Next they showed Joe warming up. And finally Big E being lifted into the air by Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston over and over. [c]

-The announcers showed an Instagram of Charlotte being congratulated by WWE’s account for being on the #Body10 list of ESPN Magazine.

(4) GAUNTLET MATCH…

-DANIEL BRYAN vs. BIG E

Daniel Bryan came out first followed by Big E. They had a sportsmanlike back and forth for three minute until Big E took decisive control after a belly-to-belly toss. He gave Bryan a big running splash on the edge of the ring. [c]

During the break, on split screen, they showed Big E shoving Bryan into the ringpost back-first. On the top rope, Bryan fought back and went for a top rope headbutt as they came back from the break into full screen. Big E moved, though, and scored a two count on Bryan. (So Bryan’s back to doing diving moves off the top rope, huh?) Big E put Bryan in the inverted body vice (apparently the unofficial WWE Hold of the Week).

More back and forth for another several minutes. Bryan smashed Big E’s knee into the mat and went for a heel hook, but Big E reached the bottom rope. The announcers talked about how these two might be out of steam by the time they have to face three more opponents. Big E speared Bryan off the ring apron and they both landed hard at ringside. Bryan’s bump looked nasty and his head just snapped when Big E’s shoulders met his mid-section at full speed. Bryan side-stepped Big E in the ring and threw him into the ringpost, then hit a running knee for the pin.

WINNER: Bryan in 12:00.

-Samoa Joe made his way out. [c]

-SAMOA JOE vs. DANIEL BRYAN

Joe understandably dominated early. They showed A.J. Styles watching backstage. Bryan rallied with some kicks and chops. Joe powerslammed Bryan hard. Philips said Bryan landed on the back of his head and neck. Bryan kicked out. The camera angle didn’t show the impact. Joe slowly lifted Bryan and chopped him in the chest. Saxton said Bryan could barely stand. They showed a reverse-angle of the move, and Bryan’s head really did hit the mat hard and his neck turned. Man. A couple minutes later Bryan took over again and yanked Joe’s leg around the ringpost a couple times. Back in the ring, Joe took over again with a snap powerslam for a two count. [c]

They continued to battle after the break. His chest was red and welted. He leaped off the ring apron with a knee aimed for Joe. He climbed to the top rope and leaped at Joe with a dropkick and connected. Then came his Yes Kicks. When he set up a knee, Joe bailed out to ringside. Bryan slid out after Joe, who surprised him with a Coquina Clutch. Bryan escaped by pushing off the ringside barricade with his feet and rolled out of the move and then slid into the ring, winning by countout.

WINNER: Bryan in 29:00 total time.

-THE MIZ vs. DANIEL BRYAN

As a frustrated Joe returned to the back, The Bludgeon Brothers entered the ring and gave Bryan their double-team powerbomb. Miz ran to the ring and gave Bryan his Skull Crushing Finale for the quick three count.

WINNER: Miz in 30:00 total time.

-RUSEV vs. THE MIZ

Rusev went to work on Miz early, but eventually Miz slowed things down and put Rusev in a chinlock. Rusev came back and scored a two count after a roundkick to Miz’s head. Miz rolled to the floor. Miz snapped Rusev’s neck over the top rope and then threw Rusev into the steel steps. He scored a near fall in the ring. He battered Rusev with Yes Kicks and then set up the running knee, but Rusev caught him with a Machka Kick. He then put Miz in the Accolade mid-ring and got the tapout win. Phillips exclaimed that Rusev just earned his first-ever one-on-one match for the WWE Championship.

WINNER: Rusev in 43:00 total time.

-Styles walked out to his music with the WWE Title belt over his shoulder. Styles and Rusev shook hands. Aiden English mouthed off to him, so Styles punched him.

(Keller’s Analysis: Who had their money on Rusev?)

NOTE:After Smackdown concludes, join me live for the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show. You can stream the show live HERE or call to participate: (347) 215-8558 (push “1” after calling if you want to participate on the show with a question or comment).

There is no other way to say it. I just flat out can’t stand Carmella. What exactly are they thinking. They are so completely devaluing the belt it is ridiculous! She can’t wrestle. Her promo’s have no punch or originality to them. And worst of all she just is so completely UNBELIEVABLE as a champion! And then of course the icing on this particular dumpster fire of a cake, is this idiot Ellsworth. Why is he back? What does he possibly bring to the table? Someone who is obviously smarter than me please explain this because I just don’t get it.
Note to creative…PUSH BECKY LYNCH!! The crowd loves her! That was glaringly obvious at MITB. If she were to beat Carmella the building, no matter where it is, would erupt!
Nobody takes a beating like Jimmy and Jay. In around five minutes they made Sanity look like psychotic monsters, and I’m not a huge fan of Sanity, so that’s high praise coming from me.
Is it just me. A year or so ago, Harper and Rowan were Bray Wyatt’s supporting cast and then we’re overshadowed by the emergence of Strowman. They were two big guys who were just kind of there. Now repackaged, they are this Unstoppable Force. This is what is wrong with the WWE. Things just don’t make sense. And Anderson and Gallows so definitely need to get back to Raw and reconnect with Finn. If the announcers on Raw are gonna spout off about Balor Club every time Finn appears, it would be nice if there actually was such a thing.
Nope. Didn’t see Rusev coming. After the Ricky Morton like beating Daniel Bryan took, it was shocking if not criminal that it wasn’t him. Did you see that guys chest! Man E and Joe wore him out!
Final thoughts. Nakamura’s promo’s are absolute works of art. Him and Styles are Smackdown Live. Everything that was accomplished with Asuka in NXT is quickly being undone on Smackdown. No idea why. As things stand now, there is no comparison between the two brands. Note to Vince, you better fix this and fast. Before it can’t be fixed.

“Inverted Body Vice”? Arrgghh. I can’t stand it anymore, sorry. Your spellcheck is leading you astray.

“Vice” with a “c” is Naughty Behavior, a la “Vice Squad.” The wrestling hold surely should be “Inverted Body Vise” with an “s” — a “vise” being a shop tool used to apply pressure and hold things immobilized.

Richard, your post is exactly why Carmella is good as champ. She completely ticks you off. And the grammar police are always welcome Denny, Wade so loves his articles being critiqued by spell check. lol

I’m not sure if it’s intentional on Vince’s part. And I understand the ladies will always be eye candy even though they are great athletes, but like Ronda at the PPV, Carmella was just begging for a busom popout. There are kids watching Vince, let the ladies have a little modesty.

Rusev vs AJ. Bryan vs. Joe. Hardy vs. Shinske. RAW better up its game in a hurry, Smackdown just gave us 3 PPV Main Events.

re And the grammar police are always welcome Denny, Wade so loves his articles being critiqued by spell check. lol
***********

Huh? Spelling and grammar are not the same thing. . .

If I were a dedicated member of the “grammar police” or of the “spelling police,” I’d be posting kvetches here a lot more regularly. (I used to post such once in a while, but it’s been a considerable time — years? — now since I last did so, and I don’t plan to make a habit of it. But the “vice/vise” thing seems so common everywhere — not just on wrestling sites — that, like “bonsai vs. bonzai” or “expatriate vs. ex-patriot,” eventually my eyeballs couldn’t take it any longer without protesting.

I expect I’ll slip quietly back under the Cone of Silence now, though.

I am never upset about being put in my place and enlightened about any mistakes I make, and I know there are plenty, especially on these long reports I type in real time right before doing a podcast immediately afterward. I do give them a proofread later in the night, but you all are welcome point out any embarrassing errors.

Fair enough, and I realize the time pressures and such, and given the amount of writing you produce, the actual error level is pretty low — and most of the glitches are obvious enough that, after a confused blink or two, no one is likely to be confused as to what was intended. (But as I said, once in a while a common error — again, one I commonly see in a lot of places, not just here — gets under my skin enough for me to rouse myself to raise a peep.)

As for “putting you in your place,” of course that place is a admirable one, and I appreciate (I hope) all of the dedication and drive displayed to make it and keep it such, minor kvetches from my instinctive proofreading kneejerks notwithstanding.