I took great pains in the post he cites to be as insulting as I could think to be.

So I am not sure if the admonishment has any merit. It is not as though I was unintentionally offensive -- my diatribe was specifically and precisely aimed at one individual whose ego I intended to hurt. No other egos need apply.

What are you talking about, BBruce? No one made weight a requirement or a limitation. And putting Amos and the Governator in the same category serves to confuse readers. There's so little they have in common, beyond the lowest common denominator of male paraphernalia.

Just to correct Mister Rapaires distortions (obviously feeling a bit desperate, he) I specified that the fondlees must be Genuinely Female. This was not meant to exclude anyone as long as they were born with original female equipment rather than acquiring it through surgical intervention or post-adolescent shopping.

All selected fondlees will be rewarded with waves of affectionate gratitude. The size of the waves will be determined by response magnitude as expressed orally, through body language, or thermally.

This isn't a particularly civilized thread, BBruce, and we play with the html. WMD = Wielding Mild Drivel

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school math teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphic calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. SRS

"Yeah, well, beardedbruce, don't build it out in the garage unless your neighbors have all moved away. If your bomb's anything like your poetry, I'll look for a puff of smoke instead of a mushroom cloud."

Sorry, I live near Takoma Park, MD. They passed a law making it illegal to have nuclear bombs in the area.

Sorry, but I'm not in just now. I'll return on Monday evening, if the crick don't rise. I've gone to Camp David/the ranch/the city/on a political campaign tour for the Memorial Day weekend. Please leave a message at the tone and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible, if I feel like it, when I return.

Rapaire, with all those big letters and colors, I just think you sound horny.You look horny, you act horny, you read horny. Horny is it? Hornier than I have ever known you to be horny before.Put on a pair of those big buck horns, horny.HORNY.Horny like it makes a jello jiggle.Horny like it makes you want to giggle,horny like it wounds a worms wiggle.HORNY.

I respect horny.

Hey MOABS, wish you were here. I'm doing another week-end bash and I wish you all were here but I only ask you to do me a favor and in the morning, please, get naked and do a sun dance for me.

Yeah, well, beardedbruce, don't build it out in the garage unless your neighbors have all moved away. If your bomb's anything like your poetry, I'll look for a puff of smoke instead of a mushroom cloud.

Amos did post a request, Rapaire. He said "Genuine (Original Equipment) Females Only."

I guess that leaves me out--the plumbing's right, but I'm missing a couple of bits of the original equipment. . .

"wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive."

Actually, quite a few of us know how easy it is.... I could teach a 12 year old to build one...

Well, have you heard of the Gondles, down in Fond du Lac? I say, have you heard of the Fondles down in Fond du Lac? They would make a rich man give up money, make a po' gal break her back!...

Hmm -- a technical challenge would be to provide real time scoring without all the sensors interfering with the contestants. Maybe 64-bit audio stream recording with multi-node parallel processing analysis to indicate the dimensions of heavy breathing baselined against normal rest state, co-tabulated with infrared detection of epidermal flush indices. Could be done with completely wireless systems, remote sensors and such.

Okay, big R!! You got a deal. Fond Du Lac it is, but no skeeters and weather must be clement (i.e., temp >65 and < 80 F., humidity < 80%.

I really must protest at this self serving allocation of duties. I don't think I will vote for your scheme, Rapaire. In fact I am sure I am as well or better qualified as you at fondling, and I challenge you to a fondling contest!! You provide the fondlees, I'll bring the beer, and we'll abide by the judgement of those fondled. Limited to volunteer fondlees only.

No, I git the beer, brats and fondling because that way there'll be a scandal in my (short) administration. I could take the oath and then when I'm vested for the retirement bennies resign 'cause my conscience won't let me continue to serve whilst living a lie.

I'll do down in history as truthful and even admirable for it! If I fondled right, I could even be a rear admirable!

wow! nuklee-ear bombs! Take me back to grammer school. (Very few people realize just how easy it is to build a nuclear bomb - assuming a)you can get the fissionables (given the rate they go missing - not THAT difficult) and b) you don't need the workers to survive.

yes - it is simple enough for schoolchildren to do it. The plans are on the internet, I am sure (haven't looked) but were published in quite a few different magazines during the 60's.

I don't know much about implosion type initiators except that they are small and expensive and are expected to cause fusion to start by reaction to an implosion of fissionable atoms. So maybe I could get transferred to fondling or beer consumption.

I'm male (at least, I was when I...checked a few minutes ago), but I simply CANNOT stomach talking about Britney Spears, et al. So, would you rather talk about

a) belching and other bodily expulsions? b) guns 'n' huntin'? c) football? d) wimmin? e) what we did in The War? f) Werner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and its implications for our ability to ascertain knowledge about the cusp of the Blue Event Horizon? g) my best drunk? h) making armpit noises? i) spittin'?

I wasn't talking to you, but to a dull witted wannabe actor who comes around these parts from time to time looking for a role to play. Now you have taken all my wrath on a s some kind of personal insult, right? That was inaccurate and illogical.

You wound me, Amos. Is it for this that I gave the best years of my life battling Klingons and phaser-wielding maniacs so that you and you ilk could produce more squalling brats on an insignificant planet rotating around a minor star called Sol? Is it for this that I went boldly where no man had gone before? Is it for this that...

Naw. Couldn't have been for this. I know what it was for. It was for this great place I've got, the horses, the barbecued steaks, the glory, and the leisure time. My 4 x 4 and my jacuzzi. That's what it was for.

Go away, get thee gone, get thee to a nunnery, be off, hie thee hence, get lost, take a long hike off a short pier, take a powder, get on your bike, disappear, make like ice and melt, go to, go elsewhere.

I've been wondering if I should have mercy on you poor obsessed people and not bother posting here when it hits the next 100. I could call up Leonard and have him do it instead, I suppose. Or we could just leave you alone for awhile to stew in your own juice. Decisions, decisions...