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Panic Attack

I have fourteen children and the last seven include six boys in a row, with my daughter Angela at the end. Before these boys were born God spoke to me from the scripture in Psalm 147 v 13 LB “Blessed are the sons within you”.

At one stage five of these boys were at primary school, where children attend from the age of five to eleven. They were getting along fine. We lived within walking distance of the school, so each day they were able to come home for lunch. They were keen to get back to school, so they could have some play time with others in the playground. All was well.

When I look back it was great when the children were young. We had a routine which no one rebelled against. Bedtime was at seven for the younger ones. The others did their homework and went to bed a little later. Brendan and I were sure of some time for ourselves then. I did not have the time to go over homework with each one. I may have signed a homework book to make sure the work was done the odd time. It is great that some mums home school but that was not for me.

When I had four children I remember reading a scripture that really stayed with me.

It is Isaiah 54 v 13 RSV “All your sons will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children’s peace”.

I am so thankful to all the teachers that have been involved in my children’s education. They were being used by God! A big thank you to you all.

Once a year the school arranged an evening when the parents were invited to attend to meet the children’s teachers and to hear how our little loved ones were getting along. I had always looked forward to having a chat with the teachers because they were helping me. Thank God for school.

I got glowing reports from Isaac’s, Jacob’s, David’s and Patrick’s teachers. They were well behaved and doing well with their three Rs. I was smiling, joyful that my young boys were doing me proud, like little saints. I thought only John’s teacher to see now. He was the oldest of the boys at the school and was very responsible in helping with his brothers. As it turned out he was too responsible in defending his brothers when they were called names or wrongly treated.

I sat down with his teacher expecting another good report. She drew her chair close to me and said, “John is doing very well in his work but he is a terror in the playground! The principal doesn’t know what to do with him. He is always fighting”. This was a big shock; surely not my son John. He was a very lively, happy boy. If this is how John is doing what is it going to be like when these other boys get older. I panicked.

My panic attack lasted all weekend. I thought, “How am I going to rear these boys”? What will happen if they start fighting with each other at home as well. The future looked bleak. The head teacher did not know what to do with my eleven year old boy, whom to me was pleasant and well behaved. How was I going to rear these six boys!

On the Sunday night I had a dream. I do not remember the details but in the dream God reassured me of his love. Scripture says in 1 John 4 v 18, “Perfect love casts out fear”. My panic attack was over. God would help me rear my boys. He promises me in Psalm 91, “He will be with me in trouble”.

My husband and I were on holiday in Israel. My husband was telling the Muslim taxi driver he had fourteen children, because Brendan heard Muslims have big families. The man responded, “How many sons do you have?” Brendan replied “I have eight sons”. “You will go straight to heaven because it must be hell on earth”, the man replied.

God is faithful. It never turned out to be hell on earth. Indeed my sons are blessed.

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5 thoughts on “Panic Attack”

Good morning Angela, I just read your blog and really liked it. I think it is powerful to share personal stories that show God’s faithfulness in our day to day challenges. I like your writing style. I was hoping to have a visit with Brendan while he is here, but our timing seems to be off. It’s beautiful in Nanaimo at this time, the blossoms are out, flowers are blooming and eagles are flying. My friend Mary is engaged, he is an American, they hope to wed this August and honeymoon later in Ireland. My son John, is working with youth and also blossoming, God is faithful. bless you Angela and your writing, love Kathleen

Hello Kathleen. Thank you for your encouragement about the colours flying up. The next day I awoke with the idea to get up and write a blog. I had 2000 visits last week from the blog about Psalm 127. I was encouaged. i have to have my heart right