Last week's News

News article for the week of 10/24/07.

Airport Authorities Collaborate On
Improving ScreeningsBy, Grey News

Revelations about continuing poor performance by US airport security staff
in spotting fake bombs during testing scenarios have surprised no one and
concerned everyone.
According to the test data asking if someone is a terrorist is only achieving
a 5% success rate, far below the Department of Homeland Security’s expected
98%. Based on it’s expectations for the “ask and see” method Homeland Security
was expecting screening to catch the remaining two percent and has come
under fire for not providing accurate strategies while being praised, possibly
sarcastically they are looking into this deeply, for maintaining a consistent
track record.
So far incentives and methods of keeping screeners alert have had mixed
results. The recent use of “threat image projection” to put fake images
of knives and bombs into luggage to keep screeners alert backfired when
one screener recently mistook one such projection as the real deal when
hated film maker Uwe Bol entered the US.
In the screeners defence he is the most likely person to bring a bomb of
some sort into the country, normally cunningly disguised as a movie, so
there has been little or no fall out so far.
Recommendations for improving the statistics, anywhere from 20 to 75 percent
of fake contraband makes it through screening at any time, abound like little
rabbits with nothing to do but jump around and breed.
One senator suggested that screeners be plugged into the x-ray machines
directly, or have their eyes replaced with cybernetic implants that could
covertly do the job, so that their attention cannot waiver in the least.
That this is inhuman and technologically unfeasible was lost on the senator,
who insisted that it was nothing more than the Unions holding out for more
vacation time.
A slightly more serious suggestion that has been doing the rounds of security
concerns is for everyone not carrying a bomb, knife, fork or sharpened spoon
to wear a special badge declaring such, cutting down on the number of screenings.
This idea is being considered, but there are still concerns that terrorists
could get their hands on these badges and pass themselves off as innocent
travellers.
One suggestion made by screeners was to fudge the numbers, report false
statistics and that way deny terrorists accurate information, either by
making them over confident about smuggling contraband on board flights or
by forcing them to put ridiculous amounts of effort into smuggling, thus
making other strategies more appealing.
No one is seriously considering this option as the lie may make Americans
complacent or panic, depending on which direction the statistics took.
Besides it is not as if a massive disinformation campaign is already underway
with the twin objectives of making terrorists complacent and American’s
afraid. No, not at all.
Meanwhile the idea of an antiterrorist fifth column in the airports is being
pondered by putting some of the responsibility upon passengers themselves.
While it is expected that passengers will report anything suspicious it
may soon be required that passengers screen each other in the departure
lounge.
Critics have already spoken out against this plan as little more than public
groping, however former President Clinton has assured people he is willing
to tour airports around the country to demonstrate the usefulness of public
groping in halting the terrorist menace.