The numbers are sort of in and if you happened to be any movie other than The Hunger Games opening this weekend, it's looking pretty grim right now — according to Deadline Hollywood's Nikki Finke, the Suzanne Collins bestselling book turned blockbuster event movie opened Friday with $68.25 million, raking in $19.75 million for mindnight shows alone, thanks in large part to the exorbitant price of regular theater tickets, the even more exorbitant price of IMAX theater tickets, the dismal crop of movies languishing in half-empty multiplexes all over suburban America (I'm looking at you, John Carter), and a super excited fanbase. The Hunger Games, by Finke's estimation, is breaking records, and has so far become ..."the highest non-sequel opening weekend ever, and the highest debut single day for a non-sequel ever, and the highest March opening ever, and the 5th highest opening day ever."

Lionsgate is projecting a $140 million weekend, which seems, at this point, a little too self-deprecating; why couldn't Katniss Everdeen and the Kid Killers (which wouldn't be a bad name for a folk group, by the way) hit $200 million? Why not $300? Why couldn't The Hunger Games just get all the money ever? I'll tell you why that can't happen — it's all those lazy shut-ins lounging in their pajamas all weekend and flicking through their fancy Netflix instant watch queues, reading movie descriptions but never actually watching a movie.