Sunday, September 21, 2014

WHY I HAVE A BEARD – Humor in Uniform

If
you are an unemployed unwanted uncelebrated “retired” military veteran like me,
what is the best thing to do?

Reminisce.

Yes,
I can hark back in time and reminisce – and I can talk about my “good old navy
days”.

But
what do I do if there is no one to talk to?

I
can write about my unforgettable reminiscences.

Well,
that is exactly what I am going to do now.

I
will hark back 37 years, take you back to the latter half of the 1970’s, and
tell you why, thanks to the Navy, I grew my handsome beard, which adorns my face
till today.

By
the way, if I had not joined the Navy, I probably would not have kept a beard.

Yes,
before I joined the Navy, I was clean shaven, and I had never contemplated
having a beard.

But
then when you join the Navy, everything changes – and you change – whether it
is for the better or for the worse – well, that depends on you!

I
remember my first day at the Naval Academy in Cochin (now called Kochi).

The
moment we reported, an army of barbers descended on us to chop off our hair and
shave or faces – we were given crew cuts and our faces shaven clean.

A
few young men did have moustaches, but these moustaches were ruthlessly removed.

At
the Naval Academy, all trainees had to be “clean shaven”.

“SEAMANLIKE” APPEARANCE

Dear
Reader – before I proceed further with my story, let me digress, and tell you a
bit about the navy tradition of sailors keeping beards.

After
independence, we imbibed our military traditions from our erstwhile rulers –
the British – and accordingly our Navy adopted the customs and traditions of
the Royal Navy.

Hence,
even on the subject of moustaches and beards, the Indian Navy had adopted,
verbatim, the regulations of the British Navy, which required that a naval
officer or sailor had either to have both beard and moustache or neither.

This
means that you had to have a “full-set beard” (a full beard and moustache).

The
beard must be complete, joined from sideburns, covering the entire jaw-line and
chin, and joining the moustache.

A
Navy Officer or Sailor had to have a “full-set beard” or nothing.

A
moustache on its own was not permitted.

You
were required to obtain the approval of your Commanding Officer to “discontinue
shaving” or to “continue shaving” every time you wanted to change your
appearance.

If
you wanted to grow a beard, you had to put in a request to stop shaving – yes,
you had to formally seek permission to “cease shaving”.

If
your request was granted, you were allowed three weeks (21 days) to grow your
beard.

During
this time of 21 days, as the beard grew, the beard grower was not permitted to
go ashore or to be seen in public until the Commanding Officer felt that the
beard was fit for public viewing.

A
Naval Officer or Sailor was required to have a rugged, “full set”, masculine
looking, well-developed beard which gave you a macho appearance.

Wispy
or wimpy looking beards were not allowed, and “designer stubble” was certainly
not permitted.

If
the Commanding Officer (Captain) approved of your beard, you were allowed to
keep it.

But
if your Commanding Officer deemed your beard unworthy of a seaman, you were
ordered to “shave off” your beard.

Suppose
you were allowed to have a beard, and you kept the beard for a few years, but
later, if you wanted to shave off your beard, you had to seek permission to “start
shaving”.

Beards
were not permitted in the Army and Air Force – but you were allowed to keep
moustaches.

Yes,
if you are in the army or air force, you can either keep your face clean shaven
or you can keep a moustache (without a beard).

I
am sure the Army and Air Force have regulations governing moustaches which
specify the types of moustaches permitted, sizes, shapes, styles etc.

But
I have seen that the Air Force has a fondness for handlebar moustaches, and so
do some Artillery Officers.

MOUSTACHES IN THE
NAVY

Sometime
in the 1970’s, due to pressures from youngsters and to be in sync with prevailing
customs, the Indian Navy relaxed the provisions governing wearing of moustaches
and beards.

The
regulations were amended so that, now, the issue of permitting “moustaches
without beards” was left to the Commanding Officer’s discretion.

Now,
the Captain may permit officers and sailors to wear moustaches and beards or
shave them off, if they so desire. Moustaches and beard shall be worn with or
without the beard and moustaches respectively. Side whiskers shall be permitted
down to the level of the lobe of the ear. Moustaches, beard and whiskers shall
be neatly cut and trimmed. The privilege may be withdrawn in cases of untidy
growth.

All Stories in this Blog are a work of fiction. Events, Places, Settings and Incidents narrated in the story are a figment of my imagination. The characters do not exist and are purely imaginary. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright Notice:

No part of this Blog may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Blog Author Vikram Karve who holds the copyright.

About Me

A creative person with a zest for
life, Vikram Karve is a retired Naval Officer turned full time writer. Educated
at IIT Delhi, IIT (BHU) Varanasi, The Lawrence School Lovedale and Bishops School
Pune, Vikram has published two books:COCKTAILa collection of fiction short stories about relationships
(2011) andAPPETITE FOR A STROLLa
book of Foodie Adventures (2008) and is currently working on his novel, writing short fiction and compiling his memoirs. An avid
blogger, he has written a number of fiction short stories, creative
non-fiction articles on a variety of topics including food, books, travel, philosophy, academics, technology, management, health, pet parenting, teaching stories, self help and art of living essays in magazines and journals and published a number of professional research papers and reviews and edited in-house magazines and journals for many years, before the advent
of blogging. Vikram has taught at a University as a Professor for 15 years and now teaches as a visiting faculty and devotes most of his time to
creative writing and blogging. Vikram Karve lives in Pune India with his family and muse -
his pet dog Sherry with whom he takes long walks thinking creative
thoughts.