This disgraceful road-crash of a program would, in a better world, see Channel Seven hauled before some international tribunal and charged with a crime against humanity. It probably had its genesis during a protracted lunch at the infamous Cafe Desperation with brain-fagged execs throwing ever-more ridiculous initiatives at one another and becoming more exuberant with each fresh bottle of Chateau Kyle Sandilands Dry Hock.

The concept: To follow the daily perambulations of Ms Brynne Edelsten, paramour of Geoffrey Edelsten, the noted social butterfly and Melbourne entrepreneur. Brynne, who claims to be 29 — but that might be an IQ score — is a cheerfully inept Texan who enjoys the fantasy lifestyle attending her sugary marriage to Dr Geoff, who is pushing 70 and apparently in denial.

But good on him! Raging against the dying of the light is relatively easy when you are surrounded by glittering objects and reflective surfaces. The ostentatious vulgarity and bling festooning the Edelsten's penthouse is stupendous — a freakshow of reckless bad taste on steroids — matched only by the couple's respective wardrobes. God bless them. They are innocents in a mire of titanic mediocrity that is sure to earn the program an "OMG" rating.

It is not so much the fault of the Edelstens — they are hapless publicity junkies craving recognition for something, anything. God's blackest curse should be reserved for the grubs and drones who have thrown discernment to the winds in pursuit of the lowest common denominator.

Viewers driven to despair by the cascading awfulness might, before blinding themselves, care to drop a line to my good friend Kerry Stokes, suggesting a better venue for the network's next creative luncheon could be the staff canteen at McQuorquodale's Industrial Cyanide Inc where a film crew could film the creatives drowning in their own drivel.

Those minor criticisms aside, I loved the show!

In a sentence

The quotation "Any person who allows themselves to be insulted deserves to be" could have been written for this utterly unnecessary squandering of resources.