Sunday, March 19, 2006

Brad Curran's "Top 10 Comic Book plots that could be used to write Marissa Cooper out of the OC"

Enjoy.

These might happen, because all the writers on the OC are comic book nerds. I love the OC but hate Marissa. I often fantasize about ways for her to go away and make the show perfect. Many of these involve her ridiculously violent death. I do not know what this says about me. I have a hunch, I just don't want to know.

1. She becomes Dark Phoenix, sacrifices herself, but no one finds her at the bottom of the Hudson River or whatever.2. Fin Fang Foom eats her.3. The same as above, but she survives in his stomach, but Machine Man squashes her on his way through FFF's bowels.4. She catches a zeta beam to Rann and is never seen again.5. She dies on the way to her home planet. Which is Rann. Okay, I'm padding.6. Jason Todd starts impersonating her to prove he's better than Batman. And she gets run over by a bus.7. She goes to college. On the Moon. With the Watcher. And Crystal and Quicksilver's kid. If she is still alive. Also, Lockjaw will be there. They could make a sitcom out of this. I would not watch.8. The Sub Mariner takes her as his wife to his undersea kingdom. And she drowns on the way there.9. She joins the Teen Titans as whatever dumb superhero Seth made her in his comic. And they are immidiately cancelled.10. She fucks off to do movies. And her first film is X4: We Still Have Some Mutants to Kill. She surives unscathed.

"In this episode Lockjaw eaths the kid! Will Lockjaw eath Marissa as well?" They could call it 'Everyone hates Lockjaw'!"

I have often wondered the same thing. I never thought it would come to this. But Marissa annoys me that much. Now, if Lockjaw ate her, and the rest of the show was about his wild frat adventures, then yeah, that's a show I would watch with no reservations.