Internet Memes: 2 Girls 1 Cup Makes You Want to Throw-Up

As I sit here in the lemony fresh offices of The Curmudgeon (the cleaning lady was in today) I am dejected but not morose. As you know, I have been writing about Internet memes lately, and a few days ago I came across the most horrible, disgusting, depressing, most likely to “cause you to weep for the state of the human race” Internet meme ever. I knew this stuff existed, but I never thought I’d be writing about it, and frankly, it depresses me.

I am speaking of 2 Girls and 1 Cup. It became a meme, and then a rash of reaction video’s were made of people reacting to the video, mainly Grandma’s for chrissake, and those videos became a meme by themselves. If I was going to write about it, I should watch it, yes? Although the site on which I read about it did not post the video or a link to it, it wasn’t hard to find, thanks to our quirky and contradictory friends over at Google. So I googled it, went to a site where the video was posted, and after reading the description of what I was about to see, refused to watch it. Wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t.

But then it ate at me. It niggled. Was I not a newsman? Ever since I was left as a foundling on the steps of Hearst Castle in San Simeon, taken in by the great man himself, and raised by a succession of French, British and Swiss Nannies, which is probably why I have a thing for foreign chicks and their accents, I have lived, eaten and breathed newsman. In a pinch, a southern, Boston or New York accent will do. Rosebud or no, Papa, or Big Willie as he liked to be called, raised me to be a newsman. I would watch the video, damn it! Though it make me sick, I will watch and report.

As it turns out, the video can no longer be seen, the government getting in on the act with enough force that everyone disabled the video. Oh, you might be able to find it somewhere, deep in the bowels (pun intended) of the cesspool, but for once, I agreed with the government, and I haven’t even seen it. Wow. An example of good censorship. The first amendment and freedom of speech doesn’t apply, at least not for me, normally a militant advocate. Who’d a thunk it?

Likewise, I have aggravated over whether to even describe what is contained in said video. I will try to do it in a non-offensive way, but alas, I don’t think that’s possible. I’ll try to be obtuse. Still, you may not want to read it if you are of delicate mind or sensibilities, or are about to eat.

Ok. Remember that everything is explicit and nothing is left to the imagination. It starts with 2 girls and 1 cup. One of the girls poo-poos into the cup. Then the girls do things with it that we normally associate with love making, like kissing. They get sick, but they don’t stop, instead using this new effluent as well. Why did I decide I must watch it? Because I wanted to look into their eyes. I hoped that by doing so I could answer one question:

Why?

Oh God why, why why? Were they being forced? Were they so desperate for money that they would engage in this behavior for a little cash? Were they sickly drug addicts who needed a fix so bad that they would do the most disgusting thing that could be conjured by a diseased mind? Please, somebody clean these girls up, give them some toothpaste and fix their heads. As my regular readers know, I am not, inherently, against pornography. But this? It’s not really even porn, and yet it is, because there are people who “get off” on watching stuff like this. Which brings me to the next question.

Why did so many people view this horrid thing that it became a meme in the first place? Is it just because it is so disgusting that it became popular simply as something to show to unwitting people to catch their reactions on video, many of whom throw up themselves? When birds regurgitate into their offspring’s mouths to provide them nourishment, that is nature. This is not nature, but a gross perversion of it.

I have included one of the more popular reaction video, but why someone would do that to their grandmother is beyond me as well. It can give you an idea of what watching it might be like, and it is pretty funny even without having seen the actual video.