Still here in this quiet room, Deep in delusion sending me over, Outside watch the world go by, Inside time stands still as I wonder

Aria CohenGTH22.01.16Included/Mentioned :Noa, Layla, Alex, Lenny, Grace(not sure if this actually needs a warning but suc.ide and homophobia is alluded to - nothing major but i don't want trigger anyone.)

“Why are we been punished for someone else's stupidity?” Mia ranted as we ran from the car to the pavement, using our jackets to try shield ourselves from the rain. We’d had spent all morning driving all over Providence searching for the right flowers. As it turns out Amelia Chase soon to be Sinclair was a complete idiot - it came as a shock to no one. Earlier this morning she marched into Lola’s office, face blotchy with red marks , mascara stained cheeks and one hell of a loud wail. It turns out the florist she had been planning on getting her spring themed floral arrangements was in New York and was currently under a travel ban. We later found out from Pete - who was living blogging Miss Chase’s breakdown, Mia and I were particularly cruel people. She further proved her idiocy by not having a backup plan incase the weather was not sunny, you know because the weather was always warm and sunny in the middle of winter - it never rained and snow? Well you might as well live in Australia.

“Is this the last shop left?” I asked taking my jacket fully off and folding under my arms. Mia nodded, wincing as she stepped in a puddle. At this point both of our shoes were filled with water, i am pretty sure we’d both end up with flu’s before the day was done. Could you sue someone for their blind stupidity leading to you getting sick? If you couldn’t you should be able to.

“It would be unless you want to try the wider Rhode Island area and if you are even considering it you can drive yourself around the state.” Mia said, annoyance dripping with into every word. If i wasn’t in my own foul mood i would be worried about Mia might do, I am pretty sure she isn’t beyond slashing someone’s tires or at the very least throwing her wet shoe at Amelia’s head.

“Let’s just hope for the best.” I muttered, highly doubting we would find the flowers Amelia wanted. None of them were in season because despite what Amelia wishes it was still indeed winter. Mia seemed to think if the scoff escaping her lips was anything to go buy. I pushed the florist’s door open , the bell ringing as i did so. The strong scent of flowers invaded my sense causing my nose to twitch. I held the door open for Mia who muttered quick thanks.

“Can i help you?” A voice sang out as she walked out from the back. Both Mia and I swirled around to a girl standing, she looked a few years younger than me, probably around Jisoo’s or Minho’s age watching us with an eyebrow raised.

“Uhm yes.” I said taking a step away from Polyanthus flowers, one of the few flowers i recognised - thanks Layla, Noa and Mrs Said. “Uh - i suppose before we even ask for specific flowers i should ask do you even Spring flower still available which would be able to get within 4 days.”

“It’s for a wedding so we would not only bouquet for the brides and bridesmaid but for the reception as well.” Mia added, that was an important point. A very important point , i should have mentioned. “We know it’s a big ask but the bride is an idiot and we are getting paid to search for flowers-” she said a mini rant falling out. “Sorry ignore that last part - it’s just been a long day.” she muttered, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment and running a hand through her hair.

The girl blinked taking it all in. “Right well i can see what we have but i will need to talk the owner , I am just a lowly employee.” she joked. “Do you have a list of the flowers you want? “ she asked looking at both Mia and I.

“Yeah.” I said handing her my phone. She looked over the list, her face switching expressions frequently as she read over it. It was hard to figure out whether that was a good sign or not. She nodded finally handing my phone back to me as she went back to the back. I looked over at Mia pulled a face before shrugging.

“How do you think Pete is doing with finding a location?” I asked as we waited for the girl to return. Mia shrugged “It probably won’t be easy - if my job wasn’t my only source of income i would give Amelia a piece of my mind, tell her to shove it all, she will probably end up divorced anyway - if her fiance doesn’t ditch her at the altar.” she ranted, her fist balling as she spoke.

“Okay- “ The girl said walking back out. “We do have most of those flowers but not all.” she explained which caused Mia and I to frown. “And about quantity - like i said i need to check with my boss. Do you have a contact number?” she asked, heading over the counter and pulling a pen out her bun and opening the notebook that was on the bench.

“Yeah sure.” Mia said pulling out a business card. “Just ask for Mia or Aria.” she added writing our names on it so the girl would remember. “Thanks for your help today.” she added politely. It was rare to see Mia actually be polite but again this job was her only source income and as i am reminded daily she doesn’t have a rich family to fall back on - she reminded me of Dylan a bit during those times.

The girl nodded putting the business card in the notebook. “If this doesn’t work out you could always try getting fake flowers. They are always in season.” she said with a smile. I nodded before heading towards the door Mia following behind.

“Let’s hope flower girl pulls through for us or i will becoming back to see her asking for funeral flowers.” Mia muttered as we walked back to the car. “Ready to run again?”

---

It was safe to say the day didn’t get better as it progressed when we arrived back at the office we were met with chaos, absolute chaos and a lot of screaming. Amelia had stuck around spewing all sorts of awfulness , somehow blaming the company ,and in specific Lola for this mess. Lola every the good person tried to calm her down, honestly how she managed to even try to help that mess of woman was beyond me.

Due Amelia’s presence and her stupidity - really she was a stupid, stupid idiot and that was my mind filtering it to say it a child friendly way, we had spent the day trying to solve her problems, It was due to this my mood was falling at an alarming race , the terrible weather made everything grey sucking the life out of the normal vibrant room, Amelia screeching and the sound of finger hitting a keyboard had left my head aching. At some point during the afternoon every little thing started to annoy me , i almost snapped at Pete for asking if i wanted a cup of coffee -something i knew was unreasonable and not normal by any standard , later in the afternoon time seemed to go missing , i wasn’t sure if it was just because what i was doing so mind numbingly boring or if it was something else, something playing up due to my stress. I hoped it was the former.

When i finally got home , all i could do was kick drenched shoes off with a grunt before making my way upstairs not bothering to say hello to any of the girls. I felt rude but i knew deep down that if i did talk to them i properly would have lashed out at them,. It seems like my quick plan to escape unnoticed and without talking was blocked by Alex and Lenny , Dean was standing near by a smirk on his face.

“Ari when is mum getting back?” Alex asked. It was a simple question really but it was irritating at the moment , honestly couldn’t she just call Grace herself or i don’t check her instagram or some sh.it.

“Aria and I don’t know.” I sighed rubbing my temple, I perhaps should have got some aspirin before i headed upstairs. “Why are you asking me? You do know Grace has her phone you could you know call her yourself.” I suggested making sure i sounded as neutral as possible though i was questioning why i bothered i am pretty sure half of the girls in this house only tolerated me.

“Because dad told us to ask you.” Alex whined moving to rest her head on my shoulder. My god why were these people so touchy, did personal space not exist in this house or something. I looked over at Dean who was now smirking - next time Minho asked for embarrassing photos and videos i’ll be giving him my entire collection. “He said something about you two betraying him.” Lenny supplied helpfully.

“Of Course he did.” I muttered. “Look i really have no idea, If you are really worried i suggest just asking her yourself or i don’t know driving to New York - that travel ban is really just a suggestion, it’s probably not even that bad.” I said shrugging.Most people were babies when it comes to snow , like dumb a.ss florist who have dumb a.ss customers. “Now i am going to go because i have a massive headache and it would probably be for the best because if the conversation continues it would probably make it worse.” I said shifting so Alex slipped off my shoulder and moving away from the pair. Hopefully Dean would be able to deal with them he was there ‘dad’ after all.

“You know most people don’t deal with their bad days by taking out on their friends.” Dean called out stepping in. I rolled my eyes, that was hardly lashing out, that was merely pointing out that i headache and that i wanted to leave - i mean didn’t Grace say sh.it about them all last year or was that something i imagined. Probably the latter with how they all worship her.

“I wasn’t aware i was taking out anything on anyone but even if i did hey atleast it’s not drinking myself to death and making terrible edits on photoshop and then posting them , embarrassing an 18 year old online - nothing says mature like drunken cyber bullying.” I said pointedly, my eyes narrowing at Dean, why did he choose know to be a prick.Even with my headache that still wasn’t fully lashing out. Harsher words were threatening to slip out and it was taking all that is in my not snap.

Alex and Lenny were still hanging around shifting awkwardly as theirs eyes darted between Dean and I. They both clearly wanted to leave but neither of them seemed to move , probably to scared the attention would fall back on them. “Well that clearly wasn’t lashing out at all.” Dean said sarcastically rolling his eyes. “But you know clearly running away to be alone and pretending you don’t have any problems is so much better for the soul right?”

“Oh because you know all about how i deal with problems right? The great all knowing Dean who knows everything about everyone - f.uck off save your oh so witty comments for someone who cares” I snapped, “Now if you call all kindly leave that would be great.” I said pushing past Dean and heading to my room, making sure to slam the door hard enough the hinges would probably need to be looked at .

--

“Laying in the dark? Really Aria? That’s a little pathetic don’t you think?” Minho voice called out as he flicked the lights on. I groaned , i hadn’t even been laying down for more than five minutes.

“And hello to you to Minho , how did you even get up here? I am sure one of the girls would have warned you to stay away - which by the way you should off, I am not in a good mood so -” I said sitting up as Minho took his usual spot on the computer chair.

“Your friends did warn me but i pretend not to understand English and any time they tried to talk to me i would just say random song lyrics, Dean did try to get in my way but i am faster than him.” Minho said seemingly proud of his accomplishment.

“You do realise they know you speak english right?” I asked raising an eyebrow. I was pretty sure most of the girls had heard him speak English at one time or another.

“Right. Well is Jisoo okay?” I asked with an eyebrow raised, I looked over at Minho who has now spun around so he was facing me.I wrapped around my arms around a cushion as i tried racking my brains trying to recall a time where i have ever seen Minho without Jisoo accompanying him. It only made sense that something had happened.

“Yeah?” Minho answered although it came out more like a question. “Why wouldn’t he be?” he continued , the hint of accusation in his voice was hard to miss.

“Well it’s just you are here and he is not?” I said, “Usually he is with you , so i figured something was up.” I explained.

“Well he is fine, he has a group project to work on for class” Minho said gruffly. “And training was cancelled, I didn't want to bother any of my real friends with an unexpected visit so you were the safest choice.” Minho rambled, i nodded in response, i forgot they even had classes, or track, I would blame the fact that i’d met them in December when classes were finishing up but part me thought it was my own selfishness that stopped me from knowing.

“You aren’t studying the same thing?” I asked, feeling somewhat guilty i had no idea what either Minho or Jisoo study.

“Clearly not - if i did i wouldn’t be here would i?” Minho mocked with an eyeroll. “You really aren’t on your a game tonight are you?”

“What do you study?”

“Biotechnology, is that important?”Minho asked. “The more important question would be why are you all alone in your room , like i said it’s a bit pathetic?” he said. “And why did your friends leave you in here alone?”

“Because i had a bad day, and i have a headache and i asked to be alone?” I answered simply. “Oddly enough people tend to do that if you ask them nicely or in my case slam door in their face.” I said sarcastically.

“Doesn’t that mean they really don’t want to be alone. Usually when Jisoo has one of those days i don’t even leave him alone, especially when he asks me to. That’s when he is at his worst.” Minho said frowning, “He wants me gone so he can do something stupid.” he muttered glancing over at me. He didn’t say it but he didn’t need to, the implication was clear he thought i was going to do something ‘stupid’. I couldn’t blame him , not because i was going to, but because from my knowledge the only experience Minho had with depression was Jisoo and he unfortunately went to the more extreme ways of handling it - if you could call it that.

“Minho I’m not , I don’t deal with it that way-” I said softly, “I just wanted to be alone so i didn’t snap at one - well more than i have already, I just - you don’t have to worry about me - not that you are.” I rambled out, I had no idea what Minho was thinking and whether he actually cared or felt obligated to watch me, regardless he was so young , too young to worry about stuff like that. “Just i’m fine. Stressed but fine.”

“People do weird things when they are stressed.” Minho said matter o’factly. “Just so you know Jisoo isn’t suicidal either - well not all the time, but most of the time he finds other ways to punish himself“ Minho said eyes narrowing at me the implication was again clear.”Before right at the start before we learned about everything Jisoo wouldn’t even know he was punishing himself you know, it was small things , things i wouldn’t have noticed - skipping meals because he thought he didn’t deserve to eat, put himself in reckless situations because he thought he deserved to get hurt, pushing friends away because he thought he didn’t deserve them….” Minho trailed feigning innocence as he looked over at me. “Just saying.”

“Minho i am not doing that and while appreciate your words of wisdom i don’t - “ I said pausing momentarily to figure how to say what i had wanted to say. “We are friends or i think we are, I just don’t want to have this conversation, it takes me forever to tell people i’ve known for years and you have it bad enough with Jisoo.” I said frowning.

“Can we talk about something else -” I whined, “Or you not talk, if you want i can drive you home since the weather is so crap -”

“Don’t you have a headache?” Minho asked. “I’d rather not die from you driving badly because you are sick.”

“Fine -” I grumbled, feeling very much offended i never drove badly ever and even if i wasn’t at my best it was only across campus. “Talking about something else it’s is - how about we talk about a little duckling called Minjun….” I said in a sing song voice.

“We don’t know each enough -” Minho said quickly, saying basically the same thing i had sent to him a few minutes ago. He did attempt to say it with his normal level of sass, the crossed arms and the smirk were testament to his attempt but the flushed ears and the fact that he was looking anywhere but at me suggested otherwise.

“Fair enough i suppose, tonight would have been the perfect time to have this conversation to be honest i am not upto teasing you and i’m emotional flat but i respect your wishes but just know this conversation is going to happen one day -” I said my eyes narrowing at Minho whose face was scrunched up at the thought. “But can you answer me one thing - Jisoo he knows right? Like him acting like he has no idea is something you and planned to lure Minjun into a false sense of security and Jisoo is like Ultimate Wingman!”

“He doesn’t know.” Minho muttered, I looked over the boy to see him playing with the sleeves of his hoodie, eyes looking down at the ground as he spoke. I frowned this one the first time i’ve ever seen him look nervous.

“What? Why not? Jisoo is your best friend right? Are you worried about him getting jealous or something?” I asked confused as to why he would keep it a secret from Jisoo, the same Jisoo who thought the world of Minho. “Are you worried about him judging you?” I asked, Minho frowned but didn’t say anything. “Minho it’s okay if you are gay -” I said frowning at unintentional rhyming there.

“I am not - “ Minho said quickly, “Not there is anything wrong with it , I just don’t identify as it, I’ve dated girls before…” he trailed off. “Minjun is the first real guy i’ve liked - it doesn’t matter , Aria you can’t tell Jisoo.” Minho said, almost pleadingly.

“Minho , Jisoo won’t judge you . he loves you , in a completely platonic of course but Jisoo wouldn’t stop been friends with you over that- how could he?” I asked, it baffled me that Minho would think that, i mean it was Jisoo we are talking about, that boy didn’t have a judgemental bone his body. Not to mention the fact that he absolutely adored Minho, they were bestfriend goals to be honest.

“He might, you never know.” Minho said sadly, “He didn’t grow up over here Aria, South Korea isn’t known for been the most accepting country when it comes to things like this.” he muttered. “And even if he does accept it,me, i mean - either way what if he parents find out and don’t and are like we need to get our son away from that gay kid - not only do i ruin Jisoo’s life but i lose my bestfriend.”“But i mean eventually he will find out, i mean what if you and Minjun start dating ?- “ I questioned, the idea that he would hide it from Jisoo seemed ridiculous. There was no way Minho would think Jisoo would be naive enough not to notice anything going on.

“Well that won’t happen Aria so i don’t need to worry -” Minho gritted out , getting more agitated as he spoke.”Can we just drop it?” he huffed. I nodded, we can just drop it for now - i wasn’t emotionally equipped to deal with this type of thing on a normal day on days like this well i was pretty much useless. “Are you going to apologise to Dean?” Minho asked changing the subject, calming down slightly.

I shrugged, “Probably, eventually , “ I sighed knowing that i would eventually apologise. “though i at least have to give you a choice of three pictures or videos of him from my blackmail folder before hand.”

“I knew you were hiding the goods from me.” Minho exclaimed, clapping his hand against his thigh, the sound echoing around my room, I winced , seriously that would have had to hurt but Minho either had a very high pain tolerance or he was to excited to care. “Wait they are better than flamingo picture right? “

“Fluorescent green afro. Glow in the dark body paint. It’s Britney b.itch.” I said watching as Minho’s eyes lit up, it was like i had just given him a car from Christmas or something. Honestly i probably shouldn’t have found it as endearing as i did - after all his face was lit up at the expense of my best friend’s dignity, not that he had much to begin with.

“I don’t even want to know,” Minho laughed. “Can i see it now? Wait aren’t you worried he will know and try and get back at you?” Minho asked raising an eyebrow. “I imagine he would know you gave it to me and he probably has embarrassing stuff on you as well.”

“Probably but eh i will worry about that when i am fully functional.” I said waving a hand dismissively. I honestly doubted he would post anything particularly bad about me on instagram , after all my mum would find out he would just hate to disappoint her. Plus that video was only the tip of the iceberg

“So you keep blackmail video’s of all your friends.” Minho asked raising an eyebrow , it should be noted that he looked slightly impressed, that was probably concerning.”Really it’s a little strange , you should probably mention that to your psychiatrist , it suggests that you have deep seeded of distrust in people and in constant paranoia that someone is going to betray you.” Minho rambled. “Or that is what i would guess, not that actually know, i’ve just read about it - my cousin studies psychology and she used chuck her text books at me.”

“I’m like Batman gotta be ready in case my friends start using their powers for evil , don’t think i have nothing on you sunshine. I’ve already learned you weaknesses -”

“Oh yeah name one.” Minho challenged.

“I’ll do better , i’ll name three . 1. Prolonged interaction with white people you haven’t approved off , 2. Furniture and 3. Minjun.” I listed counting them on my finger. “ Now I am going to some aspirin and then try to interact with my housemates so if you want you can be buffer and stop me from been to rude with one of your nudges from hell.”

I'm in the car on the way to Albany which is why I have internet and this is so good Chrissy??? Like the contrast between Jisoo and aria and just Minho bonding and blackmail and bad days. Also the minsquared building stuff I'm so ready for it I need to finish that story when I get back and yeah

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