Once again.. like Balogun had mentioned earlier.. one or even two.. messes up the rep for the rest.. and then you start making generalizations.

If you want to meet any 'good' Nigeria men.. you have to believe they exist. If you don't might as well just move on.. if you didn't already. I don't think it is Nigerian men that are 'bad'. I think there are good, bad and in the middle men.. from all parts of the world. Same as women. You have to meet the right person, and you both have to bring out the best in each other.. 'One man's meat is another man's poison'. I have seen friends of mine treat one woman like a queen and another with absolutely no respect.

Carry yourself with respect and demand it of him.. don't lower yourself or your standards. Any good man will respect that.

As for the women.. it isn't like you are all angels.

There may be options out there for the Nigeria man.. but there isn't a substitute for a good Nigeria woman as a partner. Or so I have heard.

The problem is that Nigeria women especially those in the western world have been undercut by other women. The average Nigerian man has options and typically wants to test the waters. Nigerian and African men have options now and the Nigerian woman needs to step up her game. For instance : Start giving your man H**d in bed without whining. No disrespect my humble opinion! ;

your opinion is extremely intelligent! .. . Mr Kokecity

why do i seem to be running into some African men who have been complete assholes. i am a Nigerian myself but it's so sad that i have never dated or had a serious relationship with a Nigerian because of their aggressiveness toward women. i always try to give the benefit of the doubt to the ones i meet but they can't seem to be gentlemen to me. they always want to rush to have sex without even getting to know me. i just don't know what is wrong. i don't want to be one of those Nigerian girls who doesn't give Nigerian men a chance. so far all my bad encounters with men have been with Nigerians or other African men. is there anyone else who has gone through what I've gone through and have you met any good ones out there. sorry to all men on this board, don't take this personal. I'm just saying what I've been through.

i respect everyone's opinion on here. i have asked a few of my male friends and they tell me that guys tend to take a woman's kindness for weakness. they also said that if a woman looks innocent then that makes her an easy target for knucklehead men. now i notice that the girls who treat guys like dogs are the ones that end up with men who literally kiss their feets but people like me who treat everyone with respect and kindness, what do i get? i get dogged by some macho, sexist bastard who thinks he knows everything and has the right to put his hand on me whenever he wishes. i'm sorry guys but i'm just tired of all the crazyness. once again i don't want to pass judgement on all African men because it would not be fair if it is done to me. i hope you guys do understand exactly where i am coming from. i have a father and a brother who all happen to be Nigerian men and they are good men. i know i am not the only female that feels this way about African men. a lot of my friends have experienced the same with African men and west indian men. i don't know if it's a cultural thing or if it's a natural thing.

Listen Chugal, there are so many guys out there that can blow your mind away. My advice is this. you stop looking too hard for them and they will drop into your laps like magic. Just be yourself and stay strong in everything that you do and I bet you the right man will cross paths with you before you know it. If you put your mind too much on it, you will always expect something from anyone that you meet and in so doing, you might not give him the oppurtunity to prove himself to the maximum but if you approch this issue with no reservations whatsoever, you will immediately know when that real guy steps up. He will be what you have so much hoped for and you will get into your groove even before you know it, Thats the way you know when it is real. The Bobo will not have to preach sermons or present bling blings. It will happen naturally and you will love every moment of it. Take care sweetheart and I wish you well.

The problem is that Nigeria women especially those in the western world have been undercut by other women. The average Nigerian man has options and typically wants to test the waters. Nigerian and African men have options now and the Nigerian woman needs to step up her game. For instance : Start giving your man H**d in bed without whining. No disrespect my humble opinion! ;

With an answer like that to chirgurl's question,is it hard to see why we wonder if there are any good men out there?

that is exactly i blew up with an answer like the latest one i gave. that kokscity guy sef, i try to stay away from people like that. he is the type that gives all African men a bad name. i can see him to be the sexist and macho type that i so try to avoid. we would never get along in person if he is really like that. then again who knows if he's giving answers like that just to piss people off. you know some people are good at doing that just for attention.

my male friends and they tell me that guys tend to take a woman's kindness for weakness. they also said that if a woman looks innocent then that makes her an easy target for knucklehead men. now i notice that the girls who treat guys like dogs are the ones that end up with men who literally kiss their feets but people like me who treat everyone with respect and kindness, what do i get? i get dogged by some macho, sexist bastard who thinks he knows everything and has the right to put his hand on me whenever he wishes.

Naturally these friends of yours expressed their opinion after examining their lives......

Go ahead and treat your men (or women) like rags and see how long they would literally kiss your feet. (They would reach their limiting point and hell would break lose .... the very thing you want to avoid or GOd would redirect them to people who would really appreciate and reciprocate their love) then what goes round would come around

Do not divorce the cultural, environmental and temperamental make up of the individual in how they relate to their spouse. Nigeria and Africa here falls into the Cultural and Environmental make up what of the temprament of the individual. Some Non Africans are still wife-bashers they do no have the same Cultural heritage with us.

Just pray that God helps you find your own man (regardless of colour) who would reciprocate the love you would shower on him.

I guess that adults are not allowed to say or do adult things anymore. The problem with Naija ladies is that many of them come off thinking they are God's gift to mankind. I am standing by my words. Ladies it is 2005 and we need to start calling a spade a spade, and not a garden fork. All i am saying is that when you are in any relationship with a man or vice versa there is really no need to front, just keep it real and put up or shut up. I am Tired of African Men being judged as dogs, Players etc. Meanwhile women are not doing their part to hold down their own Part of the deal. I think that we need to focus on things that make your relationship work, be it sexual, mental or spiritual. I hear Naija girls say things like"I will never" or " Over my dead body" I just think that the African Male has a choice and the African woman needs to make sure they are competitive in the market period. Hey! Look pretty, wear lingerie,make your hair,try new things in bed, make the whole relationship thingy exciting and most men will respond in kind. But the bottom line is that Naija or African woman will more power than the know and should grab this thing by the horns and run with it instead of whining.

....... Hey! Look pretty, wear lingerie,make your hair,try new things in bed, make the whole relationship thingy exciting and most men will respond in kind. But the bottom line is that Nigeria or African woman will more power than the know and should grab this thing by the horns and run with it instead of whining.

I think that any (adult) man or woman who doesn't know this by now really shouldn't be in a relationship (dating, marriage etc.) and expect it to work out. You have to keep your partner happy (mentally, spiritually and physically). Otherwise they will look other places for it.

And keeping them happy comes in different packages.. I think it is an adult decision to make just what you are willing to do to keep the relationship going. If it is something you aren't willing to do... then it is time to move on. I say this because what one person sees as acceptable, someone else will think it completely insane.

If you want to keep the relationship going longterm then... fill in the blank. Cos' you (he/she) will need to fulfill the majority of the needs/wants of your partner.

hi chigurl, i understand what u are talking about. but u see everything good doesnt just come easy. it takes patience and effort to discover gold or else it would not have its value. there are still better african men out there, it is just unfortunate u came accross those kind. i have seen nigerian men who would want to shy away from sex before marriage, it would take the persistent seduction from their woman to get them change their minds. keep searching and if u want me to show u one, i am he. (one of those u havent met)

I went looking for the good nigerian men and finally found were they are.They are located in your past,they are those men whose love and affection you took for granted,those men who could have done any thing for you but you took thier show of affection for weakness<woman wrapper>they are those men you felt were not up to your social standard either because they could not meet up to your financial demands as at that time or they were not as presentable as you would have loved your ideal man to be.they are those men you were too ashamed to introduce to your friends and family members,they are those men whose heart you got broken and walked away to bleed,they are those men you turned from affectionate to non sensitive and left behind to treat other women as play things less in importance compared to their cars.If there is any lady out there who is in her mid twenties and has dated at least three guys and did not have any of such guys in her list,please indicate and we shall send one to you as a new year gift.

@unleash_it: i know for sure i haven't dated and treated a guy that bad neither have I turned an affectionate guy to a non sensitve guy, i'm pretty sure i won't too. oh wait...........I'm not in my mid twenties but oh well!@ chigurl, in your mail rightl? hahahahahahahaha! lol lol

There are very many good Nigerian/African men around. But if you go looking for only the 'flashy' ones, the good ones will pass you by without you knowing it. And remember, it takes two to tango: a bad woman can bring out the rare bad part of an otherwise 'good' man.