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I find it very interesting that your "handle" is the title of the very religious people that Jesus rebuked for their hypocrisy. Anyway, if RESPECT is what my husband needs, then that is all fine and well. No problem. Unfortunately, this is NOT about respect, but it is about his need for total dominance. He wants to RULE, and I got news for you. Ain't gonna happen!

Anyway, my husband is asking to come home & claims that he made a big mistake. He also told me how much he appreciates the fact that I am a friend to his son while allowing him to parent the boy. He claims that he should do the same for my girls. Isn't that interesting? Anyway, I have told him that we have to seek counseling first. Also, if he leaves again, I won't reconcile!

I was never married to my children's natural father. What can I say? I was unsaved at that time in my life. A number of years later, I was born again and met my first husband at church. We became the very best of friends and married within a year. He understood grace, and NEVER threw my past in my face. I wish I could say that of my Christian brothers and sisters on this forum. I bet this disappoints you, huh Susie? Thought you'd found some dirt, didn't cha? So very sorry to let you down...

I am so incredibly insulted by your comments that I am going to say this and then I am DONE with you. You have NO idea!! I love my second husband, but BEFORE we were married, he was kind, thoughtful & gentle. AFTER we were married, he turned into a brute who wanted to rule with an iron fist. My first husband was the leader in our home, but he did not walk on me to lead. He asked my advice & considered my feelings. I am crying as I write this because of your cruelty. God forgive you!

I am only regretting our marriage now because he left me. What does that say about our relationship? No committment!

Julea,

I am so very sorry for your circumstances. I will pray for you.

Jeanne,

My heart breaks to hear your story. See! No one knows these things until they are brought into the light. I will also pray for you, my dear sister. Your story makes me realize that I have much to be grateful for.

A "Christian woman who thinks that 17 and 19 year olds aren't children and should be expected to act like adults?" Well, Suzie, THAT MAKES TWO OF US!!! It is the very reason they, not only have jobs OUTSIDE the home, but are expected to do chores IN the home. It is the very reason that they contribute financially to our household. I'd be very interested to hear what "sham" you are talking about? Did you miss the fact that my husband LEFT ME? Or just determined to blame me for it?

I find it very interesting that your "handle" is the title of the very religious people that Jesus rebuked for their hypocrisy. Anyway, if RESPECT is what my husband needs, then that is all fine and well. No problem. Unfortunately, this is NOT about respect, but it is about his need for total dominance. He wants to RULE, and I got news for you. Ain't gonna happen!

I'm not sure if you were implying this, Dale, but just to clear the murky waters...

I did NOT live with my second husband before we were married!

Also, I a remarried because my first husband was killed in a car accident. I believe that's Ok, even by biblical standards. There was no divorce. I lost my best friend that day, and I'm sorry I didn't wait even longer before I remarried. It is very hard to find true love once in your life, much less twice.

Also, I just want to clarify. I did NOT marry my husband to have my financial needs met. I married him because HE asked ME & we got along well BEFORE we lived together. We both wanted & needed companionship. I married him because he was kind & thoughtful. He claimed to love & serve the Lord! And now, he's gone. Funny, last night he called & asked if he could come home. I said NO - not until I believe he is committed to this marriage - for better or for worse - and not committed to control.

WOW! I cannot believe you! Are you my brothers & sisters or the folks gathered to stone the adulterous woman? My girls are a challenge, but they are basically GOOD girls. They present the "normal" problems, like late night phone calls & wanting to stay out later than I'd like. However, they are BOTH students working part time & contributing to the family. They are NOT disrespectful. They are TEENS! I'd like to know how many of you didn't face challenges with teens? My goodness.

And, by the way, I did NOT marry my husband to have my needs met. How many times do I have to say that my income is almost twice his? I married him because he was kind and thoughtful and claimed to love the Lord! He persued ME! HE LEFT! Now, last night he called asking me if he could come home. I said NO - not until I believe he is committed to this marriage - for better or for worse. I'm not missing him because he created so much contention by his need to control every little thing.

By the way, I do not see myself as "the authority around the house," I don't think I have all the right answers, and I would very much like my marriage to work. BUT, I DO believe that my children are MY respobsibility. My husband has a son, and we are great friends. Funny, my husband LOVES the relationship his son and I have, yet he tries to be an authority figure to my girls. He can't see that we get along so well because Robert doesn't resent me trying to be his mom. He already has one!

I believe I have received godly counsel. You just don't walk into 15 & 17-year-olds lives & announce that YOU are their new boss. Crazy! Dale, my income is almost twice his! Susie, both girls are in school w/ PT jobs & DO help out. Pharisee, did you miss my commnet about respect? Elder, they can't be expected to think of their stepfather as more than the man who loves their mom. If he left discipline to me, our family would experience more peace. It's really not his job.

I would LOVE to attend counseling with my husband & daughters. The ONE appointment we went to ended badly because the counselor told him that he should work to be friends with the girls & leave the discipline to me. He wouldn't go back. They are typical teens, but they aren't drinking, doing drugs or staying out all night. Their biological father is very active in their lives, & the counselor said that their stepfather has only been in their lives for a couple of years & should act accordingly.