Editor’s Note: I meant to post this last week, but didn’t have a consistent enough internet connection. Apologies. Better late than never, I hope?

At the risk of losing all credibility, I didn’t mind The Hangover II. Yes, it was basically the exact same plot as the first, but the first had a formulaic plot to begin with, so it’s not like the second was pissing on the Mona Lisa or anything. Set up, goose chase, celebrity cameo, funny animal encounter, Zach Galifianakis pronouncing words funny, Ken Jeong’s dick, repeat. While the second may have had an identical crappy plot structure, on a micro, joke-execution level, it was fine. Alan made a funny speech, a monkey smoked cigarettes, and at the end they re-enacted that famous picture of the Vietcong execution with Ken Jeong in a drunken snapshot. If that’s not funny to you, fine, but it’s not shitty, broad comedy. It gives you the opportunity to not laugh at it, which I think is a big part of what separates enjoyable comedy from obnoxious comedy. The parts of a comedy where you’re not laughing but you’re still enjoying yourself are what give it character. Think of it this way: your friends don’t have to make you laugh every second of every day, they just have to not annoy the piss out of you.

The Hangover III, meanwhile, is ALL big, broad comedy, a movie that never met a hacky punchline it didn’t scream at the top of its lungs and then repeat two seconds later. It’s screechy and flailing in a way that doesn’t allow you to not laugh in peace, it’s always grabbing you by the shoulders and shrieking two inches from your face, your only options laughing at their shitty jokes or screaming “ALRIGHT ALREADY” and storming out of the room. It’s not just unfunny, it’s exhausting.

Let’s start with just the scenes in the trailer, because God forbid I spoil any of this masterpiece for you. You probably remember the part where Zach Galifianakis is towing a trailer with a giraffe in it, until the giraffe appears to get decapitated by an overpass, just before the trailer cuts. If you’re wondering what the context of that scene is in the actual movie… THERE IS NONE. In fact it’s the opening scene. Zach Galifianakis is apparently just such a wacky dude that he’s bought a giraffe, and figured out all the logistics of how one goes about buying a giraffe and finding a trailer and getting the giraffe onto the trailer and getting the trailer attached to the car, and he has somehow made it from wherever he went to buy this giraffe onto a freeway without noticing that the giraffe is too tall to fit under a freeway overpass, which is basically the highest clearance of any clearance and regularly allows passage of the biggest semi-trucks. And, once you’ve accepted ALL of that, what’s the pay off? A giraffe getting decapitated! Which we already know happens! Look, nothing against ridiculous jokes. Not every bit has to or should be observational. But here’s the thing about ridiculous bits: they’re a lot funnier when you take something ridiculous and gradually build it to the point that the ridiculous is believable. Like a farce. Here, we get dropped into the middle and we get “Hey, what if a giraffe got decapitated?” AND THAT’S THE WHOLE JOKE. Hey, what if f*ck you?

In the Hangover 3, jokes aren’t built or crafted with any artisty, they’re just the kernels, the absolute rudiments of some guy’s Wacky Idea Outline farted in our general direction. It takes something ridiculous, crams it in dry, and then comments on how ridiculous it was. It’d be one thing if the giraffe bit somehow added something to the story or came into play later in some way, but it doesn’t, it’s just “WASN’T IT CRAZY WHEN ALLEN KILLED THAT GIRAFFE?” which is something the characters actually say one scene later. They’re constantly commenting on stuff that just happened in this movie, as if we didn’t just see it, as if it would somehow improve in the retelling.

Likewise, there’s the scene where Alan falls in love with Melissa McCarthy at her pawn shop. You remember that from the trailer, right? There’s even less build to this joke, because the SEXY MUSIC starts playing before Zach G and Melissa M have even said one goddamned word to each other. It’s Geico-commercial/Seltzer-Friedberg-level joke construction, where we’re just supposed to accept that these two have fallen madly in love at first sight because LOL FATTIES. You know how people always say “show don’t tell?” The background music in this scene is the epitome of telling, because it’s telling you these two are in love before anything has even happened. And again, no payoff. Just, hey, this seems like a joke.

And then on the way out of the pawn shop, where there are guitars and cellos and musical instruments hanging foreshadowingly behind him, smitten Alan is so lost in his own world that he accidentally knocks over a cello (because hey, that’s an obvious sitcom joke). Then, after getting them all re-stacked, just in case you might have missed it, he DOES IT AGAIN. I actually groaned at the screen, out loud, by myself in a room full of strangers.

Ken Jeong’s character was always a grating, over-the-top gimmick character, but in the first and second Hangover you could sort of accept him because he was dancing around stark naked, which at least was sort of a bold choice at the time. Here, there’s not even that, he’s just a bad accent and a collection of gay jokes (nothing against Ken Jeong, by the way, he’s talented, he just needs someone to tell him to dial it down about five notches, that he can be funny without shouting, like when he played the doctor in Knocked Up). And the entire plot centers around his character (which also makes no sense, but let’s not get off track). The Wolf Pack is constantly thinking up elaborate ways to kidnap him, which is tedious to sit through, because it kinda seems like you could just walk up and grab him, considering there are three or four of you and he’s a small Asian man. At one point, Chow is partying in a hotel suite at Caesar’s and the gang’s big plan to catch him is to sneak into the back room of the hotel, steal a bunch of sheets, and make a knotted sheet rope to rappel down from the roof onto his balcony. Now, ignoring the fact that there’s no way you’re going to sneak anywhere in a Vegas casino, which have tighter security than a presidential motorcade, if you ARE in the backroom, wouldn’t you just steal his key? Or… just… follow room service into the front door? Since it seems like there are a bunch of strangers coming and going to his room as it is? That wouldn’t even ruin your payoff, which was Chow base jumping off the balcony and singing “I Believe I Can Fly” and shouting “I LOVE COCAINE” on the way down. These are third grader jokes, and not the good kind.

I don’t pretend to know what went on during the scripting process, but I do know that the first and second Hangovers listed Scot Armstrong as a writer, who co-wrote previous Todd Phillips comedies like Old School and Road Trip – movies that were wacky, but could execute. Armstrong’s not listed in the Hangover III writing credits, just Craig Mazin, who in addition to the second Hangover has writing credits on Identity Thief, Senseless, and Scary Movies 3 and 4. I’m not sayin’ I’m just sayin’, Hangover III’s jokes remind me a lot more of Scary Movie 3 than they do Old School. There’s no execution or craft to anything, just more and more flailing, like someone shoveling whoopie cushions into a fart pool. Everything’s either a mild chuckle or a disgusted groan. Give me some romance, some loud/soft, like a Pixies song. Hangover 3 is more like Limp Bizkit.

If you’re conspiracy minded you’re going to think what you want, but the truth is, I don’t get paid by advertising agencies, I get paid by Uproxx. If you asked me what ads would be on the site tomorrow, I’d have no idea. Honest injun.

No conspiracy, I just work in advertising and I can’t convey the shitshow that would occur (at least in our office) had a negative review of a product been posted on the same page as something we’re buying media on. I believe you, but it’s probably in the best interests of everyone involved that you were hanging in Tijuana watching cock fights (topical joke!) last week.

The parts of the comedic movie that give it character are the non-funny parts?! I go to a comedy to laugh, not to not laugh. Hangover II was such a cop out. Exact replica of the first – and the first was at least an original in it’s own right. Highest earning R rated comedy and it was Zach’s break out film… he didn’t need two. Todd Phillips seemed to have wanted to make more of a darker “comedy”, even a drama, than a full out funny movie. You don’t put Zach Galifinakis in a film you don’t want to be more funny than not.
The giraffe scene shows Alan’s character. What life was like before he needs to be intervened. So it’s kind of important to show a scene like the be-heading of a giraffe. It’s what starts the whole story and sequence of events.
You’re right though, too much Mazin, not enough Phillips. Guess this is what we shoulda expected from a third installment.

Mattyj, you’re right in that regard. But that’s an indie dramedy. So in that situation, yes, they didn’t need him to be an Alan. But in a movie with the word Hangover in it, you expect Zach/Alan to be completely off the wall and balls out hilarious. ie, the first Hangover. I’m not saying it was a good movie, just better than the second – if not for the fact that it was more original. I def laughed more.

The review takes issue with the context and quality of the giraffe decap joke, not that it happened at all. Perhaps a series of prior events would have improved the joke and given Alan more “character.”

Some reviews I’ve read suggest this shouldn’t be considered a comedy at all. Not because the jokes are bad, but that it’s more of an “action” type film. Which would really perplex its target audience, one would think.

When it came to the Caesar’s Palace room I thought Bradley Cooper was going to act like a hot shot at the front desk due to how cocky he was walking through the lobby but they walk by it. Then they go to an “Employee Only” room in a back hallway, “Oh, they are going to dress up as bellhops.” Nah. They get sheets because homage to Hangover 1, Doug only had like 4 they have 8!

Vince, what did you think about the action thriller elements? I kind of enjoyed them. Sure they were pretty generic scenes for an action thriller, but uncharacteristic for this series so maybe that’s why I liked them here. Way more effective action scenes for a comedy than something else that shoehorns in action, like Pineapple Express.

05.29.13 at 12:28 pm

Vince Mancini

I don’t think it worked as an action thriller at all. The idea that John Goodman would hire them to go find Chow (and then again a SECOND time after they’d already effed it up) wasn’t laid out carefully enough to be an action movie. It was just “okay, here’s a blatant set up, just go with it and we’ll fill it in with jokes.” That’s a comedy set up. I don’t think you’d accept any of that in an action-thriller. No part of the casino scene was believable. I can’t really think of any plot point that’s believable in any way. There was probably less of a harsh jump between action and comedy than there was in Pineapple Express, but Pineapple Express was also a thousand times funnier.

Don’t hate on 1 just because it got way more attention than it deserved. It was still a solid comedy. Then Hollywood’s ears perked up when it realized a Vegas-trip-gone-bonkers movie had crazy cross-demo appeal, and they bled it dry like they are trained to.

Yeah that’s pretty much it. But there was far too much, “Greatest comedy of all time” talk and 1 deserves to be taken down for that. And Galifianakis’ character is shitty. But I got decent laughs during the first one, unlike 2 which made me angry.

Well this is disappointing I thought they would at least improve on part II by going in another direction instead of “we lost X and we dont remember what happened..” bit. Last night I was watching The Naked Gun 2 1/2, now that was comedy, the word play and Leslie’s facial expressions, every actor (including OJ Simpson) were great doing their parts, why can’t we have comedy movies like that anymore? What the hell happened?

@Greed. That’s no excuse to not have the character act within his traits. I have to refer back to two films ago to get a feel for this character again? No, that’s retarded. Dark Knight rises doesn’t start with Batman sipping tea and watching the Price is Right, because we already know what kind of guy he is. It’s a comedy, it needs to open with a comedic scene. I just realized why you don’t activate the ‘reply’ function on your comments, you’d be on here all day.

i thought this movie was better than the second one. Yeah the giraffe bit was stupid, and had no place in the movie, and chow is just flat out annoying. I felt like they could have used John Goodman and melissa whatever her face more, but they both did an ok job for the smallish role they had.
I didn’t hate the movie, but didn’t think it was horrendous.
Also – the absolute last scene, the one after the credits start rolling, was literally the most absurd ridiculous scene ever. It was probably left over from the stack of bit jokes they tried shtupping in to the rest of the movie, but couldn’t find a spot for it, so just left it for the end…it was funny, but…well no words can describe it

wasting Galifianakis’s talent as a comedian frustrates me to NO END. the first Hangover was hilarious, 75% because people didn’t know who he was. and that first movie was like a love letter to the hilariousness that is Zach G. Due Date was basically cashing in on the same sentiment, basically Todd Phillips saying “see who I introduced you fuckers to??! he’s hilarious amiright guys?” the public, for the most part, hadn’t seen his like before.

now these movies he is starring in, like the fucking cold turd The Campaign and these Hangover sequels, are carbon copying what was so funny about the first Hangover movie until there’s nothing left of what makes him so special. it hurts my heart.

*spoilers* for all of you who complain. But I can’t wait till the fourth one where it’s nothing but man boob jokes and fat jokes with McCarthy and galafanakis. On a side note when are offerman and galafanakis gonna star in a movie together. They seem like they’d be good together

I’ll never understand why I’m the only one who thinks Scary Movie 3 is the best spoof movie in a long, long time (how long ago was Leslie Nielsen’s last movie?). If loving running gags about Pootie Tang, George Carlin, and Kevin Hart/Anthony Anderson’s bits are wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.

You forgot to mention that wherever Zach bought that giraffe would have had to have been within 10 feet of that overpass, because there are, of course, other overpasses on the 10. That’s the main thing that made the joke stupid to me. My brain doesn’t work right.

Jesus H. Christ. The mention of the franchise being “formulaic,” and then expecting the THIRD INSTALLMENT to be any different than the preceding movies? Wanting MORE from the movies that brought “so long, gay boys” into general usage? I don’t know whether to suggest a dose Midol, or to adjust your ironically worn monocle and wax your Dali. The title alone should not be interpreted as “this will be a very intelligent journey in which there will in no way be predictable plot points and things for me to roll my eyes at.”

Does anyone else feel that Old School is just really fucking awkward? The jokes, I didn’t find most of the time, were well executed. There were a lot of camera cuts near the beginning too and it was just really annoying to watch, it seemed kind of amateurish. The movie picked up near the end, and did a good job of setting it up so you wanted to see the guy get the chick back, and some of the jokes were better but I feel most of the movie was kind of clunky, and unfunny. The only reason I’m mentioning it here is because I’m curios if anyone agreed with me as most people seem to like the movie.

I never saw any of The Hangovers, knowing instinctively or maybe just judiciously that I wasn’t going to enjoy the wild, quirky and zany ride all that much. It’s not that I’m resistant to screwball comedy, just unfunny comedy and especially reheated crap like this (I’ll trust the critics on this one). I’m really only posting this to say that I enjoyed your review more than I imagine I would enjoy any of the Hangovers as I’m fairly sure it contains more wit and intellegence than all of them combined. I could be dead wrong but I really, really doubt it. What always kills me about the standard, cynical Hollywood fare (comedies especially) is that they pool together so much talent in the service of so much dreck. Ebert wrote (paraphrasing big time here) that a fair test of a movie is to ask yourself if is at least as interesting as its creators/cast. At least 90% of the time I answer “no” to that question and I’m pretty sure I’d rather just listen to Galifanakis and the rest talk about their lives than watch them struggle to bring life to an idiotic script under the guidance of a director whose only ambition is to keep the cash register ringing. Again, I could be dead wrong but everything I’ve seen, read and been told about the Hangover movies (both praise and criticism) tells me otherwise