Weapons, words, and code - all means of changing reality. All, however, are sharp tools in that not only can they turn in your hands, but they'll do exactly what you tell them to - even if that's not what you meant.

May 26, 2005

I call official sucks on Philly airport.

The surprising bit about connecting through Philly was the quick, easy and efficient manner with which Customs and Immigration was handled. I was through both in perhaps seven minutes. Kudos to Homeland Security (ugh) for that one.

However, in order to connect from a US Airways arriving international flight to a US Airways domestic flight, I was (after going through customs and immigration, naturally, which is of course de rigeur) forced to walk pretty much the length of two terminals, around a completely pointless hundred-meter detour designed entirely to absorb the lines that would apparently result from...

...having to pass through Security. Yes, after Customs had riffled my bag, Security then wanted me to do the entire remove-shoes-put-laptop-onna-tray-step-through-sir routine. This, after a seven and a half hour international flight, is not designed to produce docile happy passengers. Couple that with this conversation:

"Sir, I need to see your computer operate."

"Open it."

"I did. It ain't doing nothing."

"Yes. That's because the battery is dead. Because I just got off a SEVEN HOUR FLIGHT."

"Well, we gotta see it turn on."

"You got an outlet around here I can use?"

"No."

...

"Sir?"

"Sorry, just boggled by the fucking stupidity. Well, if you don't have an outlet, you're not gonna get to see it work."

"Sir, there's no need to be difficult."

...and around we go.

I managed to avoid being arrested before boarding my connecting flight, which promptly sat at the gate for half an hour after departure and on the taxiway for an hour. I strongly wished I'd actually assaulted one of the Security Personnel having that conversation with me, it would have spared me the full-757-held-on-the-ground purgatory.