The 9 Emotional Stages of Making Plans in Group Chat

#3 is so awkward!

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By Noelle Devoe

16 July, 2016

The invention of the group chat has definitely made making plans with a huge group of people a lot easier, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way. Actually, making plans can feel impossible when your messaging as a group, whether you're trying to plan a road trip across the country or just trying to do something as small as seeing a movie.

1. The initial text. One brave soul reaches out to the group and throws a plan out there. This move is not to be taken lightly, as this person is taking the lead, preparing for their plans to either be embraced or ignored. It's painful to be ghosted by one person, so just the thought of getting left on "Read" by all your closest friends is excruciating.

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2. Figuring out a time is like rocket science. Assuming at least a few people want to participate in whatever activity is being planned, you now have to figure out, as a group, what time works best for everyone. But considering you all have crazy schedules with class, extracurriculars, and work, and people are sooooooo slow to respond, it's nearly impossible to figure out a time.

3. The awkward moment when you have to pick a time that doesn't work for one person. You've spent a few days in limbo using all types of highly complicated mathematical equations to try and figure out a time to go see that movie you all want to see, but there's just no way you're going to find a time that works for everyone. So one of you has to awkwardly suggest you pick the time that works best for the most people and apologize to that one person who's being left behind for the sake of the group. You feel bad, but in the end...

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4. The sinking feeling that comes when you realize you're the only one who can't go.The rest of the group chat continues on without you, planning their amazing time together. You have to sit silently through hours of deliberation for an event you won't be attending, wishing that you could be two places at once so you could go.

5. The cost conundrum. Everyone wants to know how much the plan will cost and if there's a way to save. If it's a group activity (like paint balling), someone will suggest adding more people to your crew so that it'll be cheaper for each person. If it's somewhere where the price is set for each person (like a movie), someone will want to know if there's a cheaper option somewhere else. Of course, everyone is in the same boat and wants to spend as little money as possible, but the plan's price point could threaten to derail all the hard work you've done so far making these plans a reality, so it's definitely frustrating.

6. The group chat lurker pops up at the last minute trying to participate. You've been discussing your plans with the group for AGES, and just when everything is pretty much set in stone, the resident group chat lurker — who you assumed didn't want to attend because of their silence — pops up and expresses their interest in going. This isn't always bad news, but if it's something where you had to book a certain amount of people, or this person wants everyone to rearrange the plans you painstakingly put together to accommodate them, things can get awkward really quickly.

7. The planner drops the ball. Sometimes, someone pitches some plans to the group chat and everyone is so down for the cause...

But then there's no follow up. The group chat is left in the dark wondering, "What's going on? Is this happening?" Sooner or later, the original person who got everyone hyped up for the group outing says they don't feel like planning it, which is a major let-down.

8. People back out at the last minute. You might have been planning a weekend road trip with your besties for two months and everyone was SO IN and you were all pumped up for the festivities. But then, right as you're about to peel out of the driveway, one friend backs out. Like, seriously? Way to put a damper on the entire trip.

9. But nothing feels better than when your plans come through and you all have an amazing time.

Sure, you all wanted to kill each other at one (or two, or 30) times while making the arrangements, but once you guys successfully link up and have the best time ever, the group chat mayhem all seems worth it.