Seven Quick Questions

Last time I read it was in college, I only got up to page 762 and then lost interest. Gee, I hope Anna turns things around before it’s too late.

QUESTION for anyone who’s read the book: have you seen the movie? I haven’t even read any reviews. When I heard Anna was going to be played by Kiera Knightley, I wondered why they didn’t get an actress instead.

2. Whenever I read old books, I keep an eye out for lovely, old-fashioned names that have unjustly gone out of circulation, and Russian novels are no exception.

QUESTION: Arhip, anyone? I think it’s a boy name.

3. So, so, so, we all know that when Mary nursed baby Jesus, she OVulously (as my son used to say) wore one of these:

Among other reasons, this was so the baby (who was a Real Boy) would not get scandalized by having to make eye contact with his mother despite her under-tent compromised modesty. So that’s settled. But we are still left with the age-old QUESTION: what did she wear to preserve her modesty while she was giving birth??? (Credit for this brain teaser goes to Noel Combs, who is not letting Lent slow her down.)

4. QUESTION: Is the model in the picture above trying to demonstrate that modest women don’t wear pants?

5. Benny is deeply in love with Spiderman. And not just any Spiderman, but Extra Crappy 1967 Spiderman Very Lightly Animated Cartoon which is IN COLOR. This is what she does when she hears the theme song:

(The first ten seconds or so are the main point. The rest is just to keep me from ever thinking I’m a good mother.)

The reason I let this happen is because when your husband says, “You go take a nap. I’ll find something to do with the baby,” then you don’t complain, even if it turns out that that thing is watching 1967 Spiderman IN COLOR.

QUESTION: if we had played our cards differently, would she have a passionate devotion to, say, Mahler, or the sonnets of Shakespeare? Or is there something about Spiderman?

6. QUESTION: What happens when you’re making beef barley soup with mushrooms, and you figure you’ll pep it up with some hot pepper flakes, but while you’re shaking them in you start thinking about something else, and then, after thinking about it for a while, and then talking about some stuff, and then thinking some more, you realize you’re still shaking those hot pepper flakes into the soup?

ANSWER: You get to eat ALL THE SOUP!!!! And boy, it clears out your sinuses.