The GQ Men's Guide to Fall TV

The GQ Men's Guide to Fall TV

Yes, all the best small-screen action these days is on cable. And yes, the broadcast networks are full of dull, derivative dreck. But there must be some must-see shows for guys premiering this fall, right? Our man watches the fall pilots to find out

Is it just me, or do the broadcast networks really dislike the scrotally endowed? Sure, their research departments insist men would rather spend their evenings watching sports or porn—anything but scripted sitcoms and dramas on the Big Four—but it's sort of understandable given the crap they produce for guys. All they have to do is look over at the cable nets to see that if they build quality shows—intellectually challenging; the violence is bloody with no skimping of carnage; adults speak like fucking adults; people are actually naked when they have sex—we will come.

In the meantime, we have the network's new Fall 2012 shows. I lost many hours of my life watching all of the pilots (you collectively owe me), and below are the offerings with some semblance of male appeal. They are graded one out of five beers—five being must-watch. There are no fives. But there are a few that won't make you want to staple your hand to a wall.

NBC

Revolution (Mondays, 10 p.m.)

Fifteen years after a global blackout, a gaggle of survivalists (which is how, presumably, one refers to anyone living under these circumstances) weather the post-apocalyptic Chicago metro area and the brutal regime of the Monroe Republic, most saliently in the form of enforcer Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad). It's ecutive-produced by J.J. Abrams, co-stars Elizabeth Mitchell, and features an attractive ensemble of people confronting a perilous, neo-primitive landscape. You know, like Lost.

Guy Appeal: Lots of stalking, shooting, chasing, skullduggery, cool-looking CGI, and shifting of alliances. And chicks who can fight...if you're into that sort of thing. Still, there's the stink of cheese about it. If for no other reason, I hope it lasts so Esposito remains employed.