Friday, April 1, 2011

Justin Long Has Terrible Real Estate Timing

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Actor Justin Long is perhaps best known among common folk as the spokesperson for Apple's "I'm A Mac" campaign and for his on again/off again relationship with troubled child star turned Hollywood power player Drew Barrymore. His entertainment bizness resume also includes a long list of appearances in cinematic diamonds like Jeepers Creepers, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Herbie: Fully Loaded, Pineapple Express, He's Just Not That into You and Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.

The wee lamb, bless his heart, is also about to be known as one of the many celebrities hit smack upside the head by a number of optimistic and ill-timed real estate purchases soured by the dramatic Kablooey-Kablam! of the most recent real estate super-bubble.

Bright and early yesterday morning, well before Your Mama had even a single gin & tonic down in us, we received a missive from The Bizzy Boys at Celebrity Address Aerial who informed us that Mister Justin Long recently and drastically lowered the asking price of a Los Angeles, CA residence he owns in the Oaks neighborhood.

Property records and earlier reports show that Mister Long purchased the Mediterranean style mini-mansion in May of 2008 for $1,999,000. The house, built in 1990, had been owned from the early 1990s to 2003 by another celebrity, Blair Underwood. Current listing information shows the 3,338 square foot residence includes a walled courtyard at the front with built-in barbecue center, double-height living room with loft, dining room with wet bar and a u-shaped gore-may kitchen with large work island. All three bedrooms have private poopers including the master suite that also features a wood-beamed ceiling, awkwardly located fireplace and walk-in closet with inexpensive looking shelving system.

Interestingly, current listing photos show identical day-core–down to the bed linens and dish towels–as was shown in the listing photos utilized back in 2008 when Mister Long acquired the property. We're not sure if that means that old listing photos are being used again or if Mister Long purchased the house lock, stock and pillow case and neither added nor removed nary a thing from the house in the intervening years.

Mister Long first listed the property back in early December of 2009 with an asking price of $1,999,000, exactly what he paid for the place 1.5 years earlier. Eventually the price dipped to $1,899,000. In December 2010 the property was de-listed and re-listed the same day with a new and even lower asking price of $1,799,000. On the 21st of March, according to Redfin, Mister Long and his Real Estates karate-chopped the priced by a significant $150,000, which brought asking price to its current $1,649,000.

A couple quick flicks of the hard-working beads on Your Mama's bejeweled abacus reveals that's a noteworthy $350,000 less than Mister Long paid for the property. If we move and manipulate the bejeweled abacus beads another way it shows Mister Long's L.A. abode is currently listed for nearly 18% less than he paid for the place almost three years ago.

Discussion topic: Did Mister Long over-pay for his home in the Oaks neighborhood, puppies, or has the real estate market in even fairly prime areas of Los Angeles fallen that much in the last few years?

Those who wish to participate in the debate but are not over-familiar with the specific 'hoods in and around Los Angeles should bear in mind the the Oaks neighborhood where Mister Long's real estate white elephant is located is not the same as The Oaks, the Calabasas, CA development where celebrity residents include KourtneyKardashian, Travis Barker and Kathyrn Jackson–that would be Michael's momma–who currently leases a large mansion in The Oaks while she works over the Jackson family's long-time homestead on Hayvenhurst Avenue that is–the records we accessed indicate–technically and legally owned jointly by the estate of Mister Jackson and his sister La Toya. In 2008 the Hayvenhurst property entered into pre-foreclosure but since Mister Jackson's death money has poured into the coffers of his estate and whatever debt previously secured by the property has reportedly been paid.

Anyhhoo, this is not, as it turns out, the first time that Mister Long has been bitten by the sharp teeth of a real estate mistake. In May of 2007 Mister Long paid $1,450,000 to acquire a modestly-sized single-level mid-century modern(ish) house on La Cuesta Drive in the Hollywood Hills. By August of 2008 he had the house back on the market with an asking price of $1,495,000. Property records show that the property was sold October of 2009 for $1,200,000, a figure that represents a frightening and meaningful quarter of a million dollar strike against Mister Long's bank accounts.

But children, it gets even worse for Mister Long. In July of 2008–just about the time he bought the house he now has for sale at a $350,000-plus loss–Mister Long splashed out $2,425,000–some records show $2,291,062–to purchase a 2 bedroom and 2 pooper condo in a newly constructed and very contemporary Bernard Tschumi-designed tower in lower Manhattan called BLUE. A few minute's research on the interweb reveals that in September of 2010 Mister Long flipped his 1,975 square foot condo on the market with a frustratingly complicated asking price of $1,943,400, a staggering loss of $481,600.The L-shaped condo (above), which listing information indicates had a rental tenant in place until the end of February 2011, has a long entrance hall, a living room with north, west and southern exposures, a decently sized kitchen, dining area, laundry closet, two actual bedrooms–one with private pooper and large walk-in closet–plus a small study/office area that could be converted to a tiny bedroom with the addition of just one non-structural wall.

Now children, let's put on our thinking caps and do a little real estate mathematics, shall we? In 2009 Mister Long waved bye-bye to $250,000 when he sold his house on La Cuesta Drive. He stands to lose $350,000 (and more) on the house he currently has listed in the Oaks neighborhood in Los Angeles–that's a $600,000 combined loss–and he's looking at another fat $481,600 (plus fees) loss on his Big Apple digs. That means that even if Mister Long and his Real Estates manages to miraculously secure full price sales on both homes he currently has on the market he's looking at total and totally punishing loss of $1,081,600 (plus fees) on his poorly-timed real estate transactions.

Your Mama would be shocked to the point of faint iffin we were to learn that Mister Long isn't able to endure such a substantial financial loss but a million dollar-plus hit to his bank accounts has got to be, none-the-less, a special kind of torture.