NFL Lines and Picks: Week 2, 2016

In a new weekly NFL picks column, Hail To The District writer Dash Kannan provides his predictions and thoughts for each game on the slate for Week 2 of the 2016 NFL season.

As a chronic former gambler, Rajan has asked me to get back into the dangerous world of picking NFL games. Hopefully, I’ll still have this laptop at the end of the season to write these weekly posts and not have to sell it to cover my debts.

(Picks in Bold)

New York Jets at Buffalo Bills (Pick ‘Em) — (Editor’s Note: pick made before yesterday evening’s game): The Bills will win this game and consequently cover the spread because of the law of no one believes in the Bills. But no one ever believes in the Bills ever so they should win every game. But we all know they suck.

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins (-2.5) — I’ve heard commentators say that this is a bounce-back game for Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott. Well, this is a bounce-back game for everyone in the Redskins’ organization, from Kirk Cousins down to the groundsmen, after yet another Monday night debacle. Redskins win easy, Dez Bryant gets shutdown by….Bashaud Breeland, and life goes on in the nation’s capital.

Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns (+6.5) — The Browns cover the spread because Josh McCown at this moment is 10x the NFL that Robert Griffin III is. And speaking of RGIII, isn’t his NFL career is pretty much over? He can’t possibly start more than five games for the rest of his time in the big leagues… unless there’s a Tommy Maddox-like resurgence in his future.

Tennessee Titans at Detroit Lions (-6) — Detroit wins this game going away. It’ll be close going into the fourth and then Detroit’s firepower will take over against an absolutely inferior team.

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots (-6.5) — Jimmy Garoppolo struggles some and he comes back down to Earth this weekend. Not that he was superhuman against the Cardinals, but he did in fact, look decent. Not sure about this week.

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (-2.5) — The Chiefs looked really bad last week and eked out a win against the Chargers who are expected to be horrible this year…expect the Texans and J.J. Watt to make their presence felt this week.

Cincinatti Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers (-3.5) — The Steelers’ offense looked absolutely dominant in Landover on Monday Night, but this will be a closer game. They still cover because the Bengals’ offensive line looked like crap and Pittsburgh defensive coordinator Keith Butler should be able to dial up blitzes against Andy Dalton and company.

New Orleans Saints at NY Giants (-5) — Both teams’ defenses suck. However, the Giants defense is slightly better – they actually have live bodies. But do you really expect Drew Brees to lie down after receiving that contract extension and losing that heart-breaker to Derek Carr and the Raiders’ last week? I don’t.

San Francisco 49ers at Carolina Panthers (-13.5) — Cam Newton may still be concussed, but I don’t expect that to matter. I expect a Rams’ like showing on offense from Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, and the rest of Chip Kelly’s crew.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Arizona Cardinals (-7) — Famous Jameis Winston looked really good against an Atlanta team that I expect to be one of the worst in the league this season. Arizona’s defense may be too much for him.

Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (+6.5) — Take the Seahawks and run. The Rams may play inspired considering that this is the first game in LA in over 20 years and they’ll score… three points. Russell Wilson could play amputated against the Rams and the Seahawks would still win. Side Note: How does Jeff Fisher get an extension after that abysmal showing last week? He’s a terrible coach, horrible defensive mind, and still gets more money. I don’t know how. I need his job/luck.

Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos (-6) — The Colts still haven’t fixed their defensive problems from a year ago and Trevor Simien should have a much easier time this week. Expect the Broncos’ defense and Demaryius Thomas to have a big day.

Atlanta Falcons at Oakland Raiders (-4.5) — Take the Raiders and be confident. The Falcons are god-awful and most of that is due to the misfit between Matt Ryan and Kyle Shanahan’s offense. And oh yeah, that defense is nothing to write home about.

Jacksonville Jaguars at San Diego Chargers (-3) — Without Keenan Allen, I don’t know how much Phillip Rivers will have to work with the rest of the year. With defenses now able to key in on Melvin Gordon, the Chargers may be on a downward spiral to another top three pick.

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings (+2.5) — If Sam Bradford starts this week, expect the Packers to win easily. If Shaun Hill starts, expect the Packers to win…but not by much.

Philadelphia Eagles at Chicago Bears (-3) — Do the Bears have more talent than the Eagles? Probably. This game comes down to Jay Cutler’s mental state; who knows how many picks or touchdowns he’s going to throw?