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Re: Men concealing their age

Does a number on a birth certificate evidence the medical condition, or biological age of a human person?

I know men in their twenties who as a result of their smoking, drinking, eating habits and lack of physical exercise are already demonstrating illnesses associated with people who have passed the half century.

When I have been asked by a potential sexual partner for my age, I reply that my age does not determine my aptitude for a healthy sexual encounter.

Re: Men concealing their age

^Yeah, revealing age can be quite bad in business world, where age can be a strong determinant of your employment. Still, age concealing in casual situations is uncommon for men---to me, they're just mere numbers. Perhaps it's just me

come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

Re: Men concealing their age

We would be deceiving ourselves were we to ignore the reality that the so called gay scene is youth orientated, leading me to believe that appearance is all important.

A quick glance at the numbers viewing the porn galleries, or the celebrity forum indicates that intelligent discussion is not the primary reason for the existence of this site.

Really?

I have to agree with some of my fellow members here about age as a number.

I was told by this "kid" 19/20 the other day that the shirt that I was wearing wasn't appropriate for my age.

I was wearing an Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt that was given to me as a gift by a guy friend who's 26.

I'm not completely an Abercrombie & Fitch model, and the shirt fits me really well, and friends of mine tell me that I look great in it.

Now if I had a complete head of grey hair, and looked like a 10lb bag of potatoes stuffed into a 5lb bag he might have had a point.

When asked my age my first response is typically, "old enough to know better, but still young enough not to care."

Most "men" in the 20's are proud to be in their 20's so that don't mind telling anyone.

After 30?

Well even some of those hot guys that I know in their 20's think that they're 30th birthday is "over the hill."

When I tell those "kids" again 19/20 that I'm old enough to be their father, well unless their into "Daddy Figures" that's when the conversation, discussion, and in some cases any interest on their part ends.

Which is sad because I'm not some "dirty old perve" interested in having sex with every 20 something that I meet.

It just seems like if you're not 30 or younger, some of us don't even get the time of day anymore.

So for me age is just a number, and so long as you continue to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually I'm sure that there's something that I can find attractive about you.

But to tell you my real age?

Really how attractive is it to hear, "You look really good for your age," with that being the caveat expression as they walk away?

IOW I am attractive enough for you to come up and talk to me, so why are you walking away now that you know my birth age?

So it may not be so much an attempt to "conceal" but rather a defense mechanism.

Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

Re: Men concealing their age

Respectfully, this seems inconsistent. Now, why is it you want to be appealing to a young person who is automatically dismissive of someone over 30? Over 40?

That's a damned good question.

I guess in reality I don't.

When I look in the mirror I see a much more attractive "physical" person than I saw when I was in my 20's.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself, who's that old guy?

For a guy "my age" I'm still considered attractive by a lot of guys; both younger, my age, and older.

So it's not that I want to be appealing to shallow individuals; younger or of any age for that matter.

Those aren't the types of people that I would even want as friends to be honest.

What happened to keeping fit spiritually and mentally? Is disregard for mature people fit?

I wouldn't think so.

For me, I am attracted to people for many things, and I don't have the prerequisites of being healthy physically, spiritually, and mentally. Health is a luxury, not a requirement. Age will teach all of us that over time, else our partners will jettison us when we grow ill in any of those dimensions, no?

Which despite how hard we or they might try, age isn't something that we can hide indefinitely.

For example, there's a difference between someone suspecting that you're Gay and their knowing that you're gay.

Just like there's a difference in someone thinking that you're in your 40's, and knowing just how close you are to 50, or 60, or 70, or whatever.

I have a female bestfriend who I've known for more than 20 years now. To this day I honestly don't know how old she is in birth years.

I've got an idea, but I could still be off by as many as 20 years.

Seriously!

Do I find her any less attractive because of that?

Is she any less of a friend to me?

The answer is no on all accounts.

Youth is fleeting, and always will be.

I don't tell people my age for the same reason why I'm selective about who truly knows that I'm Gay.

Both have been used as reasons to discriminate against me, and unless they have any true or honest reason to know, it's none of their business.

Never regret anything, because in that moment it's exactly what you wanted.

Re: Men concealing their age

A lot of men in the gay world conceal their age because age bias is so rampant in the gay world...like it's some badge of honor to be under 30 and a badge of disdain to be over 30. Nowhere, except in the gay world, is the first thing said after "Hello" is "how old are you?". No group of people are as hung up about age as gays and that's a sad testimony to a group that cries for tolerance and equality.

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by Orlandude

A lot of men in the gay world conceal their age because age bias is so rampant in the gay world...like it's some badge of honor to be under 30 and a badge of disdain to be over 30. Nowhere, except in the gay world, is the first thing said after "Hello" is "how old are you?". No group of people are as hung up about age as gays and that's a sad testimony to a group that cries for tolerance and equality.

dear Orlandude,

I am 55 and I am living in The Netherlands. I don't hide my age and I also don't hide that I am gay. I feel very sorry that you have suffered so much problems with age, whilst making contacts with other gays. I don't have this problems, and I am somehow sceptic if your views (as expressed above) are real and valid for all gays.

I have no idea about your age (no need to tell us if you don't like), and I also have no idea how and where you meet other gays (your profile indicates that you are "Out at home, in the closet at work.")?

Any idea if there are other gays at your work, and any idea how these guys will treat you (when they will find out that you are gay as well)?

I tend to think that you are somehow struggeling with this 'problem'. Any plans to be out at work? Any idea of one of your straight work-mates might have a gay brother?

Are you sure this 'age-problem' is as well the case in any 'gay-group' (can be anything, from a hiking group, a local queer group, etc) in and around Orlando?

Re: Men concealing their age

Well, I am 42.. I think when I was younger I always worried about getting older... But so far all that worry has been for nothing. I am better off now, than I ever was and I hope that trend continues for many many years to come.

Re: Men concealing their age

Ageism is not exclusively inimical to the older male. How often is it assumed that the young are lazy and incompetent? How often is it assumed that the young value excessive inebriation and nights out hooking up over sustaining their responsibilities and forming legitimate relationships? How often is it assumed that the young are narcissistic, immature, and incapable of showing respect?

Yes, there are the young who carelessly dismiss the aged, but there are also the aged who thoughtlessly dismiss the young. Ageism is indeed parochial, but many people seem to forget that it goes both ways; I know this from experience, but I will never hide (nor apologise for) my age. Nobody should.

Re: Men concealing their age

A lot of people even on here hide their age. At least they don't mention it in their profiles. And they should! I also don't like it when people hide or lie about their age. I don't care if you are older, just tell me if I ask! XD

Re: Men concealing their age

I just don't feel like age should be an issue. I've always been the youngest in my group of friends (having graduated high school at 16 and college at 19). When an older guy tells me his age it isn't an automatic turn off. . .just don't be creepy about it. Age is just a number in my mind.

Re: Men concealing their age

Well, I used to worry about my age. But then I realized that I am in fact aging better than a LOT of my younger friends (who are married, btw) and am generally in great shape. So I wear my years with pride, as I wear them WELL. 47 now, and damn proud of it!

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by ronboy

I probably just alienated half-the JUB populace, who don't speak to any gay man over age 30.

You remind me of a friend of mine. She has this weird thing that men look best before the age 25. Once they pass 25, not matter how handsome or attractive they are, they go dim before her eyes. Dreadfulness...

Originally Posted by Telstra

Maybe he is attracted to you and want to be your boyfriend, yes ?

He looked around 35 and was apparently still single with no indication of having a relationship with a girl (I know it from the way he told his routine ). And he only wanted to speak with me (the other guys and girls tried to talk with him but he always returned to me). To be honest, I think he is gay and you may have a point

Originally Posted by BENDERBOY

I really don't see why people should mention there age if they don't want to,

Not that it's not allowed; it's just weird coming from a man.

come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

Re: Men concealing their age

I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.

Bend me, break me, anyway you need me
as long as I want you baby, it's alright.

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by evilest

I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by evilest

I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.

One of my lecturer has the same problem. Currently he's in his late 40s but people always assume he's a bit older than 30. To many people, this wouldn't be a problem. but usually younger doctors or lecturers are underestimated, so he doesn't like it. He usually wears a blank spectacles to create the impression he's old.

come now, my child. if we were planning to harm you, do you think
we'd be lurking here beside the path in the darkest part of the forest?

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by evilest

I've had the opposite problem. I usually have to convince people I'm older than I look or come across. It's not that I'm immature or anything but the majority of company I keep is older and I have to fight against being discounted for always being the younger one. Incidentally I'm 27.

I've got the same problem. Being a twenty year old chef is not easy in a field where a common misconception is that more years make you a better cook. So not true!

Re: Men concealing their age

when u walk in a club does everyone have their age tattooed on their forehead? wouldnt it be horrific if someone actually found someone attractive outside of their concrete age of acceptable dating potentials - omg what if they were actually 10 years older than you could possible fathom and yet you couldnt take your eyes off of them - shoot yourself - go ahead just kill yourself - you actually judged someone on their attractiveness as oppossed to your preconcieved foolish little notions...

Re: Men concealing their age

I really don't get it if anyone wants to conceal their age. For girls they tend to mind a lot when they don't look their age or get told they look old. But I thought that for guys it was the other way round? The older the guy the hotter Some of my friends always gets so sensitive when we talk about age + dating.

It's kinda annoying when they can only see themselves dating someone their age or just one year of difference. then they judge you when you don't feel the same way.

This is why you have so many silly high school dramas when you only limit yourself to dating someone your age

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by tombastep

I don't think being hung up on age is that exclusive to gays. I have friends of mine around my age who get hung up on it. My best friends g/f tends to comment on age difference, even when it comes to a difference that I tend to think is relatively small. Like 20-30.

It most certainly isn't limited to gays, for sure. Has no one heard of a midlife crisis? Has no one SEEN a midlife crisis? When your overweight 54 year old boss starts gelling his hair and gets a ferrari and starts going on joyrides? It's embarrassing. But it's normal.

Re: Men concealing their age

Originally Posted by xbuzzerx

It most certainly isn't limited to gays, for sure. Has no one heard of a midlife crisis? Has no one SEEN a midlife crisis? When your overweight 54 year old boss starts gelling his hair and gets a ferrari and starts going on joyrides? It's embarrassing. But it's normal.

Re: Men concealing their age

I have no problem telling my age, though I do have a problem being my age. As for life being over at 30, I have no idea how that works out for most people. Never had a life before 30, and haven't had one since either...