Dating Articles

When some males don’t get what they want from women, they are quick to label her as “having an attitude.” But in the real world, what does that mean? Just because a woman doesn’t show interest in YOU when you show it in HER, doesn’t mean there is anything at all wrong with who or […]

Integrity is defined as “a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one’s actions. Let me call out the keywords in this definition that are often missed: consistency, honesty, truthfulness, and accuracy of one’s actions. Consistency is […]

In this multi-part series, veteran advice columnist and dating expert Deborrah Cooper (popularly known as “Ms HeartBeat”), takes her single female followers by the hand and leads them through the minefield of the sinister, manipulative, and controlling behaviors of men. From flat out lying to using prisoner of war type mind control techniques, any single […]

Repeatedly black women have expressed to that the biggest fear that Black women have about interracial relationships is the worry that she is being used as a social experiment, fetishized, and not truly loved. Columnist Deborrah Cooper shares insightful tips for non-black males interested in a romantic relationship with a black woman.

Umar Johnson is a self-proclaimed “nationally certified” expert on child psychology who is given lots of credit and support for his somewhat controversial and sometimes downright crazy theories. Most recently he has been associated with attempting to collect $5 million to buy the land and buildings of now-defunct historically black college St. Paul College in Lawrenceville, Virginia. Here’s why he’s not the man for the job.

Jeremy Meeks is a 30 year old former gang member of African American descent caught up in the criminal justice system and locked up in a cell. But as he proved this week, he can pull the positive attention and sexual interest of more women than 75% of the men walking around free. And these salty ass dudes can’t STAND it.

Marriage is pushed on black girls as an achievement (get a ring!), but on black boys as harmful and dangerous. So the males avoid it. Yet, they turn around and attempt to judge and condemn black women who are unmarried as if she is somehow faulty, bad or lacking in some way — when in reality he had no intention of marrying her in the first place! He is just using her single, unmarried status as an excuse to avoid accountability for his deceitful actions with women who he knows long for commitment and a husband.

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How is it that on one hand Black men are referred to as Kings and believe themselves entitled to be in a leadership role in any relationship, household or family. Yet, on the other they complain that Black women need to do more “uplifting” and “help a Black man be successful” and “be a helpmeet” (whatever that botched up word means)? I don’t get it.

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This year Hallmark released Father’s Day cards for single moms, and Deb Cooper put it on a meme which caused a firestorm of controversy in the black community this past week. Why can’t single moms be honored with a card on Father’s Day if they’re doing the work of both parents? Instead of complaining, why don’t these absentee black fathers step up for their offspring?

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The vast majority of the women who reviewed this meme acknowledged that they’d heard some if not all of these deflections and excuses from men. I just thought it important to provide a reality check on the issue of why more black women aren’t married. We get blamed for being single in large numbers as if we are faulty and deficient in some way, when in reality as long as you mess around with chumps like this that make every excuse in the book to NOT marry, you will remain single for the rest of your life.

You will find out what type of person he is very quickly if you pay attention. Never think that anything YOU did or said caused him to disrespect you. He is not a child. Men know very well how to treat women. Anything other than respect is a test to see what he can get away with or his passive-aggressive attempt to demean and degrade you on the sly.