I am sorry we did not receive even just a moment to say goodbye
and thank you to each other
for all those school bus rides we took together,
you in your harness,
and me in my wonder
about what’s coming next
from your talking head
to mine.

It is time for me to move on
to another student,
but I am happy to leave you in Miss Josie’s care.

I know she will enjoy your time
invested in each other,

Listening and taking turns speaking kindly with each other,
Singing and maybe even a little dancing together,
reading and drawing as light and bumps allow.

Maybe you can teach each other
some new KnockKnock jokes.

KnockKnock.
Who’s there?
Sandi.
Sandy who?
Sandy sandwiches
are not good for you.

KnockKnock.
Who’s there?
Josie.
Josie who?
Jo see for yourself,
Open the door!

I am grateful to have so many silly and lovely memories
of you
to take with me.

And, the greatest farewell gift you could give me
is your reassurance
that these same warm and happy memories
of us
are what you will carry with you
throughout your great adventurous journey
into well-being.

Warmly yours,

Sandi

Sandi who?
Sandy snacks
are not so good for you.

Note:

My behaviorally disordered ADHD and fetal alcoholic daughter, with abandonment issues and deep-seeded food anxiety issues, suddenly lost her long-standing school bus aide, probably to compassion burn-out. Ivy can be a profound motivator of impatience in those around her, even with deep and widely developed caregiving and receiving skills. This is the farewell that I think Ivy would have found more therapeutic than the isolating complexities of disappearance without explanation or expressed gratitude for what did co-relationally work for so long.

To be clear, not saying goodbye was an administrative decision from above; not what Ivy’s aide wanted for herself or for Ivy.

Sanctuary,
not only from a Rumpian absence of
civility
and non-violent trust
and integrity
and compassion,
but also pro-actively for an orthodox health eco-school
for learning to secure these passioned gifts
through cooperative
pro-active
co-arising practice.

A permanently green sanctuary for integrity
is asking too improbably much
from some,
like myself,
so wounded by cultural mendacity
of growing up intrinsically disturbed
by absence of heterosexual norms,
or masculine values,
or competitive-aggressive dreams
to too whitely overpower,
dominate,
occasionally to violate black extinctions matter
perhaps most of all sacred opportunity Nows.

YinSpirit degeneration in an early homophobic home
in an evangelical white nationalist church
in a rural white patriarchal school,
in a competitive capital over-priced
and cooperative communion under-valued economy
prepared to support even fairly rabid infestations
of white nationalist patriarchalism
competing for Friends With Rich Benefits Office,

For healthcare taking and grabbing and sucking
and victim ducking and shooting and blowing up
and sending off to learn war and post-climatic stress,
oiled and automated gunfire blood-letting chronic WinLose dissonance
as also classrooms of
notnot reverse-healthcare
co-vampiratic potential WinWins
appositionally reverse of LoseLose
monoculturing bloodthirsty NegativEnergy

Even if we were to win
these hunting
and killing
and fishing
and devouring
and gathering
and hoarding
and victimizing
and offending
and criminalizing
and punishing
holy wars
and sacred causes,

We would lose
our vocation
to mentor and facilitate restoration,
ego and ecotherapy reforestation,
healing,
health,
measured in polycultural health outcomes
by all democratically respected
and trusted to remain interdependent
species.

Extended even to the vipers
and poisonous spiders and ivy
and choking evangelical fake-Christians
and jihad self-terrorizing fake-Moslems,
and fear and hate-mongerers of all bad faiths,
even those Pharisees and Sadducees
already too aristocratic,
rich and powerful capital hoarding
for their own healthy extended family care-giving
and receiving love
and cooperatively owned and managed grace
and positive synergy and karma.

Those who choose
to Lose
at shallow capitalism
to Lose
at deep ego-ecological wisdom
are fake-redeemer sheep,
with retributive justice discipleship ways,
concerns,
Hellfire issues,
and over-invested in Win-Lose means
to successfully deny
their intrinsic bad faith in the reverse of evolution.

Those who defer to WinWin evolution
toward
mutual good faith polycultural expectations,

Those who defer to Win-Lose
anger and fear management
through self-perpetuating postponement
of Win-Win commitment.

The first had been the night before
when the bus demons dropped her off
to say they might be back
but weren’t exactly sure when,
while I tied up her second right foot shoe.

I asked her why she throws right shoes
and socks
and pants
and fairly stinky pullups
at the driver
and she tells me these are her second amendment rights
to blast or not
to throw or not
as she so whimsically pleases.

What shall I say
while tying up her second shoe
during this unexpected second coming
of her bus
to take her back to school?
Teaching through a culture of gratitude
where each personal right
also grows a political responsibility,
each right a gift of well-tied shoe gratitude
to be paid back with an avalanche
of positive attitude
for each unexpected second coming.

This second coming comes and goes
and I turn to my good news day
living in a sacred matriotic patriotic land
with property rights of responsible gratitude
owned right up to
but not extending past
the launch of MotherEarth’s second shoe
now flowing downriver
to tumultuous seas beyond all rights dominating FatherLands,
without waiting for this second shoe to drop
back toward any bus of positively responsible attitude.
Cultures of seasoned gratitudes
are also cultures of healthy wealth
for second comings
restoring matriarchal justice
overwhelming patriarchal retributive punishments,
reiterative angry rights
of First Shoe responsibilities
for freedom’s speech and active expression
with Second Shoe rights and responsibilities
of liberty’s gratitude
for restoring it’s original intent
carrying responsibility for protecting
this First Shoe’s positive gratitude potential
through responsible attention to this second coming time
to release MotherEarth’s second independent shoe
from further ballistic harms and fouls
and violent intent
to irresponsibly not address
a rightful culture of gratitude
for unexpected second comings,
as both feet,
right with left,
race together cooperatively gendered and re-aligned
for school
on her second coming bus.

Unfortunately,
I was still gratefully tying up her second amendment
gifted rights with pay-back cooperating responsibilities
of gratitude for all well-souled shoes
when the second coming left
without the rights
and responsibilities
of delivering my ballistically naked daughter
back to her well-schooled gratitude for rights
with concomitant responsibilities to and for each other
to never claim them in a way
that would deny their at-least-equal free
and safe
and healthy expression
to and with another.

Tomorrow morning,
there will be no second coming.
No need to tie up rights with responsibilities
for well-souled second shoes,
not intended for marching into militias
of revengeful angry justice
when schools enculture restorative mercies
for well-gifting forward second comings.

But,
that will be next Tuesday,
and right now we face a four day weekend
of restorational mercies
with both first and second grateful shoes
well-tied together, yet apart
rights restored first on right non-violent intent
with lefts for grateful second co-responsibilities
for never marching toward violence
where ballstage dancing to love’s anthems
is also gratefully offered
in home as school.
—————————————————–
Allegory wears an ecological precision
not intended,
yet implied,
here with now co-incidental,
cooperatively double-bound,
like seasonal reasons
for first grateful amendments first,
leaving second amendments
to restoratively readjust
responsibilities toward our first EarthTribe becoming
capable of cooperative speech
before and after all
through cultures of gratitude,

Multi-poly-enculturations of healthy-wealth amendments
all tied up in waiting
for our way too long delayed
first with second coming,
left exhausted then right more cooperatively becoming
untied at last together.