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Sunday, September 30, 2012

I have to visit my friend. Yes, have to. I wanted to visit
yesterday and catch up and laugh with him and do what we always do. I wanted to
have a nice lunch and then lounge at the restaurant with a cup of coffee and
remember fun times or discuss what each of us is currently writing or maybe
even talk about his successful novel. I loved to hear how excited he was to
finish the final edit. How he told the publisher that he had just written the
best book they would ever peruse and possibly the best book ever written. He
was sure his bullshit was what made them read his sample.

Instead, I am visiting my friend at the funeral home. As I enter, I see smiling faces and groups of people, some I know, some I do not. His children are near the entrance so I walk directly to them. I really want to speak, but I have no words. I hug each of them and walk to the casket. I pray and I make him a promise. The pain in my heart is unbearable and I need to go. The lightness in this room in inappropriate for my state of loss.

Alone, walking to the car I keep myself together. Once inside, the dam breaks and I am engulfed in my grief and holding my own face with a tissue covering my hands, I simply weep. The drive home is lonely and I remember so much. I am grateful he is not in pain and not lingering on life support.

His
time is up and he is heading to his reward. Based on my feelings for him and my
knowledge of his life, he is going to be very pleased with his eternity. He
deserves all the goodness heaven can offer. He was a good friend and my writing
for publication is all because he told me that I was good enough. I believed
him. I miss him.

POV…3rd person

It’s over. His pain is gone and she can say goodbye with a
heavy heart. Jo had anticipated a much longer time with her friend, but the
Lord had other plans. Ed’s failing heart had simply worn out. He had been
called home and all that remained for Jo was to pay her respects and then
figure out how to be a writer without her muse. She headed for the funeral home
alone.

Walking into the funeral parlor she was overcome by the
number of people who seemed not to be heart-broken. They were smiling and shaking
hands. She was not ready for this she wasn’t ready to lose him and everyone
seemed to have let him go. Didn’t they know what she knew? Didn’t they know she
needed him in her life? Didn’t they care?

She wasn’t able to smile at his children. She hugged them
and said nothing. She prayed for his soul, though she knew he was already home.

The tears on her cheeks were for her loss, not his. She
lowered her head, signed the guest book and walked alone back to her car. Once
inside, she let the tears and the heartbreak take over. She completely broke
down and gave in to the grief that would be with her for some time.

Her friend, her mentor and her muse had left her to carry on
without his constant support and encouragement. He left her with the confidence
to continue and she left his lifeless body with a promise to honor him by never
forgetting that she was good enough.

Friday, September 28, 2012

If your life was on the line, literally, someone was about to pull the trigger if you didn't tell them honestly...
how would you answer one of these questions. You may choose the one you wish to answer.

1) What is the single most important object (something that can be bought or sold) in your life?

2) What is your most valuable asset?

3) Money is no object, but time is, you have 2 minutes to select something for purchase. What is it?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

At this point in my life looking back doesn’t really make me
smile a lot. I am so much more into looking at where I am and a little time
spent looking ahead.This prompt by
Elizabeth makes me think she is feeling melancholy this autumn.The past few posts have required one to
either look back and reflect or explain why that isn’t going to happen.While I value my past for all it has brought
to me, I am leaving it behind this week because with the autumnal bleakness I
face every year, I am moving forward and relishing the warmth these days are
still providing.

As I toss out my once blooming and prized potted flowers,
cut down the drying and dying perennials, put away the no longer needed patio
furniture, close the pool and basically get ready for the next season, I am
also enjoying the sun and the relative warmth of September 2012. The sun has
refused to hide most days, even if it is peaking in and out, those ‘outs’ make me happy.We haven’t actually put everything away yet.
I have taken a few extra chairs and tables to the barn, but it still looks
pretty summery, on the deck and poolside. The flowers are nearly all gone. Two
pots are still trying to hang on, still blooming and looking pretty good, so
they have been spared. The front pots are still there, though they should be
gone. I still see some color, so I’m giving them another week or two.The day lilies are still blooming and the
roses are beautiful. They remain.

The pool closing will probably be next week one day and that
will prompt me to put the pool deck furniture away. The deck on the house will
remain furnished until it’s too cold for coffee on the deck and then …well, it
has to go.

The upcoming winter will be here and gone before we know it.
I am saying this because in retrospect, I need to believe that.I will be able to smile, laugh and enjoy my
life if I believe and remind myself often, it is only 5 months!Christmas falls in the midst of those 5
months, but that isn’t really as big a thrill as it used to be when everyone
could be home for the day. Now we just run around and visit and then come home
and collapse. No need for the holiday preps or the shopping for the dinner and
snacks, no big baking days or other traditional holiday plans, just shop for
the babies and deliver their stuff, watch them rip them open and share a meal
with each family separately and head home. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t a family
Christmas. And it exhausts Momma. So the relief I used to feel at getting to
the holidays is gone.

In retrospect, I am a blessed and happy woman who is loved
by many people and who loves them right back with all my heart. I get to do
pretty much whatever I want to do most days and I do enjoy retirement a LOT. I
married a guy who will eat just about anything I cook and usually tells me he
liked it or loved it. I love cooking so that is also a blessing, no fussy
eaters in this house. My hobbies and craft ideas and home improvement ideas
keep my days busy and my mind working. My good health allows me to soak up all
this glorious sunshine while it is available and walk around the yard and enjoy
the flowers that are hanging on and the grass which is brilliantly green right
now.Blessings all around and I am aware
and I am ever so grateful for each of these and a million more things.

Sure, I could look back and write AGAIN about something that
happened in my past that helped to create the somewhat skewed attitude I am
carrying around with me now, but then I’d have to re-live it and honestly, with
autumn looming, I cannot afford to risk my fairly stable mental health doing
that today or anytime soon. I will instead enjoy this day, those blessings I
have been given and I will smile. Wishing each of you (3 or 4) readers a most
pleasant day and to all the lovers of this season, I say, it looks like a
lovely one and football season is in full swing, so go and enjoy!I’ll be in here writing, reading, knitting or
sleeping, making something out of nothing and trying NOT to look outside.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The best
chips are at the bottom of the bag.
I love the overcooked and broken pieces that fall to the bottom where all the extra salt lands. Mmm

The best
ideas come at the bottom of the list
of possibilities. The more you ponder your options, the more likely you will
make a wise choice.

The “thing”
you are looking for is often in the bottom
of a drawer or box.

Although
we think of the bottom as a negative
thing, often, it can be a very good thing.

The “to
do list” is a motivator and then as you cross off the last thing, the one on
the bottom, you feel so GOOD.

Looking
in the mirror from over your shoulder gives you a distorted view of your bottom. Probably not a flattering view,
either.

Hitting
rock bottom can be the best time of
your life. It can be the moment you realize you cannot move forward alone. You
reach out for help or you demand help or you sink into hopelessness. Few people
can return from the rock bottom of
life without someone providing assistance of some type. Sometimes it’s just the
right words or a hug at the right time. Sometimes it’s a few dollars, a big of
groceries, a job offer or a ride to the addiction facility. Whatever the need,
the key often comes from someone else. The acceptance must come from the one on
the rock bottom.

Every now
and then I see a prompt in this writing group and am instantly inspired. This
time, not so much. I was dragging my own bottom
trying to take it somewhere and decided to ramble. After all, a wandering
mind can’t be expected to be brilliant every time, right?

I said, RIGHT?

Perhaps
brilliance will flow from the fingertips next time…for now, peace, love and
faith to all from the bottom of my
heart.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Just because
you have always voted Democratic, you don’t have to repeat that action. If you
have always voted Republican, you don’t have to this time.

I know that
sounds elementary, but seriously, I believe most people fall into the trap of
believing that those parties are what they are putting in office. It is not true. You are voting for
PEOPLE. And who they are does matter. If it doesn’t matter because you believe
your party represents your beliefs, please take some time to really think about
that and look at history and look at the people currently representing that
party. Do THEY represent your beliefs? Better than the other parties candidate?

Mitt Romney
is not the same man his father was. His father was a stand up man with his
state being his motivating factor. He wanted Michigan to soar like the eagles
so he could possibly run for President and use that history to gain his desired
position. He was a good man. He made decisions for our state that helped the
people who live here. Not the people who hire the people who live here, alone.
ALL the people who struggle and all the people who hire and all the people who
can’t do either were helped by Governor George Romney’s administration. Did
Mitt do that for Massachusetts? Did he make decisions for ALL the people of
Massachusetts? Will he do that for our country, if he is elected? Read the history. Make an educated decision.

Barrack O’bama
is a democrat. He is also our President, your’s and mine. Like George W. Bush,
he leads us all and we are ALL HIS responsibility. Whether you like him or not,
he is OUR President. Look at his history. Read what he has done, what he has
proposed. I mean read the actual documents, not the news stations
interpretations of them. You may surprise yourself with what you find.

You may even
find that numbers have been changed by one or both parties when reporting job
increases or financial growth or lack of.

Now, most
importantly, remember the Congressional behavior over the last 2 years.
Remember when you walk into that booth that those men and women signed a pledge
within the Republican Party to STOP any and all O’bama sanctioned bills. They
promised to pass NOTHING under his presidency to ensure he could be nothing
more than a 1 term President. So for 2 years they allowed our economy and our
job growth as a country to be secondary to keeping O’bama limited to 1
term. Our well-being or representing our
needs was secondary to their political plans. Does that upset you? Make you
happy? Make you want to give them another shot? Two years wasted. Much of our dilemma
today is from 2 wasted years. Was it worth it to keep O’bama from gaining
anything that might have started us on an upward climb?

When you
vote, whichever way you go, please get facts. Please take the time to read the
government records on voting on the issues and the bills that were passed and
those that were not. Vote with education on your side. Don’t let the networks
or the cable news people tell you what you think. Teach yourself to find
facts.

I believe
they all lie or distort facts to get elected, but they cannot change their
history of actions. Look there. Make an informed choice.

Just for
fun, I’m gonna tell you that I have voted for more Republicans than Democrats,
but I still feel for the most part I fall to the Democratic way of thinking.
The problem is a lot of people on the democratic tickets aren’t really all that
democratic. I have always (and this time
will be no different) voted for the person.

I also don’t
care about the candidate’s personal lives a whole lot. I like it if they talk
about their families, but I don’t care if one or both of them had affairs at
some point. I don’t care if they have hobbies or what they are. I do care if
they have lived a real and not privileged life. I would love for laws to change
so that common people could run equally for the highest office in the land. I
would love to have an opportunity to elect a real common man or woman into
office. Money should NOT be a qualifier nor should it be a disqualifier. In my
dreams…

.

I am so
disillusioned about our leadership, about this campaign on both sides. I am so
tired of hearing, reading, seeing what he did wrong, what the other guy thinks.
STOP IT ALL OF YOU!

Let’s hear,
read and see what YOU have to offer. Tell me why YOU are my man, not why the
other guy isn’t. I cannot stand negativity and I don’t need to hear what YOU
think is wrong with anyone. I need to hear why I would benefit and my country
would move forward with you at the helm.
That’s all.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

It has been 11 years since the attacks by al-Qaeda on the World Trade Center, The Pentegon and the Flight 93 passengers stopped their plane from also hitting the Pentegon, a sacrifice of all 44 on board. The site in Shanksville, PA, where the plane crashed is marked as a memorial to those heroes aboard.

Today is Patriot Day. According to Wikipedia..."In theUnited States,Patriot Dayoccurs on September 11 of each year, designated in memory of the2,977 killedin the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Initially, the day was called the Prayer and Remembrance for the Victims of the Terrorist Attacks on September 11, 2001.

U.S. House of Representatives Joint Resolution 71 was approved by a vote of 407–0 on October 25, 2001. It requested thatthe President designate September 11 of each year as "Patriot Day". President George W. Bush signed the resolution into law on December 18, 2001 (as Public Law 107-89[1]). It is a discretionary day of remembrance. On September 4, 2002, President Bush used his authority created by the resolution and proclaimed September 11, 2002 as Patriot Day.

Traditionally this day has also been a day of service. Presidents Bush and Obama have asked citizens to perform some kind of service in tribute to the families of the 2,997 lives lost in the attack. It is not a national holiday in that everyone gets the day off work, but it is a day we, as Americans, will never forget. Ever.

As you go through your day today, doing what you do on a Tuesday, please take a moment to remember how much our world changed that day. Remember perhaps in prayer, the lost and the families left to mourn. Remember where you were, how you felt and don't be surprised if remembering brings a tear or two. It was a terrorist attack. Not the first, but by far, the most devastating.

If we live in fear, if we give up our freedoms, if we change who the USA is, they win. The terrorists get what they want. They want us to be afraid. They want us to change our free way of living and live in terror. We will not. We will not be afraid and we will not live in a military state to be safe. We will be Americans and plan and work and gather intelligence and eventually, those who hurt us, feel the wrath of the American strength. In this case, Seal Team 6 carried out that plan under the orders of their Commander in Chief, Barack Obama, President of the United States of America. God bless the USA. And may God bless those who protect us daily and those who make the kinds of decisions that lead to the fall of Osama Bin Laden.

Walk freely today and hold your head high, you are being protected by the best of the best and you are an American with the heart of an Eagle and the pride of a free nation.

God bless our servicemen/women and thank you each and every one for your sacrifice and your service. My flag is at half-mast today in honor of the lost souls of 9/11 and our own local hero Shane Cantu who was buried 9/10/2012 after giving his life for his country late August. God rest his soul.

Monday, September 10, 2012

The road to friendship is cut with a smile;
smoothed with caring and kindness;
worn with love
and paved with loyalty.
It is eroded with consistent negativity.
The road can never be a one way path.
~Jo Heroux~

I wrote that as an introduction to how I see friendship.

Closeness we develop with our friends is different than that which we may have with family members, I believe. One big reason may be that we choose our friends and they choose us. Family is given to us and though they are often the best of our friends, they remain different by the very fact that they were not chosen. They were gifts.

Our closest friends are often people with whom we share moral values, family values and basically enjoy the same activities or hobbies or personalities. Something brought us together initially and something has kept them close through the friendship. The friends who come and go, and we all have a list of those, are not the ones I am writing of today, those are friends of purpose. Some were for our purpose, they brought something into our life that was needed or for their purpose,we gave them something; but once the purpose was served, the friendship dwindled or ended abruptly.

For those of us who tend to be stay at homes and routine oriented, an impulsive friend can be a lifeline to the real world outside our doors. At the same time, the busy bee running around here and there and never really having time to smell the roses, a calmer stay at home, plan everything friend can be a good balance. I see this and understand it. For me, my best friend of nearly 40 years is very much like me. She goes where she needs to go to get things done. She also loves being home. She totally enjoys her kids as her friends and the parents of her grand children. She also works for her daughter-in-law, yes, it is working out well. We don't see each other a lot these days because she works and I don't. She has less time for playing with me, but we make time now and then to do something impulsive or a nice quiet afternoon on the deck here at our house.
I love either one. I love my time with her and she has always been my go to person for anything! Yes, anything. I have never told her I couldn't do something she needed or wanted and she has never not been there for me. We talk more often than we hang out these days, but the relationship is as strong as ever and I love her like family. And we chose each other when our kids were 6. The children each celebrated their 43rd birthday this year.

Before I stop, just for the record, back some 37 years ago, we did a lot of impulsive things. Most were ill-advised, but fun! These days, we do much less impulsively and nothing ill-advised. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

The labor pains have slipped to the back of my mind, except, now and then I still use the excuse that I just had a baby and shouldn't be lifting anything too heavy. After all it was only 42 years ago, a girl needs time to recover! Birthing a human is hard work!

Any way...who would have ever thought that the toddler who disassembled every toy that had parts, and a few that were one piece, would grow up, join the Navy and end up married to a beautiful woman who would ultimately give him a dazzling daughter and a precocious son, who also disassembles his toys? Not me, I was certain that I had done everything wrong raising him. I was sure I had completely messed this boy up beyond anyone's capability. Enter the U.S. Navy! I sent them my 17 year old son, who turned 18 less than a week after arriving in Florida, for his basic training and they returned a highly disciplined and muscled man a matter of weeks later. It was a blessing and it was a miracle. He was happy, handsome and down right debonair in that uniform when he walked out to meet us. (My Mom was with me). That day I knew he would be okay. I knew he had many changes to get through, but I also knew he would get through them all.

What neither of us knew was that President Bush would draw a line in the sand while my son was serving on the USS Independence aircraft carrier. We didn't know that he would be on high alert for weeks on end waiting for Saddam to do or not do something aggressive. He was a torpedo-man and me? I was petrified.
I watched every minute of TV coverage hoping to see some good news. Didn't happen. The good news came in the form of a letter telling me the date they were pulling out of the area to make room for their replacements. No action was the best news I could have hoped for and was beyond relieved to hear this.

John has grown and developed into such a nice man. He has had challenges along the way, but right now he is in a good place and has a great job and a wonderful loving and supportive wife and those little angels adore their daddy. His life is on track and on this his 42nd birthday, his mom couldn't be happier or prouder of her baby boy.

I not only love this guy, I like being with him and talking with him and knowing that anytime I need him, he's a phone call or a text away. Yep, on this my baby's 42nd birthday, I know I did a good job, aided by the USN. He's a good man.

Monday, September 3, 2012

You can call it déjà vu if you’d like, I call it old age. I
call it, CSR. (Can’t Remember Shit) Using all my available brain cells, both of
them, I think back and try to recall when or how or with whom I may have done
this or that before, nothing. I mean, nothing comes to the forefront of my mind
where I might access it.

Oh, I can access all sorts of useless crap that I’ll never
need to know again. Things I never want to relive come running out of all the
creases where memories hide or get lost. Faces I want to recall and names that
match those faces, slim to elzero chance of regurgitating that info. The
history test my friend copied in 11th grade? Oh, yeah, I remember
that clearly. I remember being scared witless that we would be caught and
probably expelled or shot or whatever happens to cheaters, who never win, by
the way. But no one caught us and I then understood that my history teacher was
NOT actually reading the answers, just looking at his cheat sheet and marking
something on the tests.

Did I just digress? It would appear so, though I so often do
that when I’m trying to remember something that I can’t’ be sure. Oh, déjà vu! That has happened a gazilliontrillion
times, so it must be déjà vu or again, just getting old and forgetting.

Useless crap that I recall:

My first phone number as an adult…266-? Ummm well….okay, not that.

My address in 1970...10487 Grand
Blanc Road…Gaines,
MI
(YAY)

My parents phone number before I moved out and they moved
away…they really didn’t want me to move home again….271-8328. circa 1971, I
think.

There are lots of other useless things in there, no one will ever ask, nor
care if I volunteer, as is evidenced right here, to know, yet I am
using valuable and needed brain storage space with this crap. Okay, Marlene is not crap, not at all, but
she knows she was my first friend in Gaines and neither of us has ever been
asked that question, I’m sure.

What were we talking about?
Oh…I looked ^^^^up there…déjà vu .
Yes, I don’t know if I have experienced that or not really.

A few times in my life I have felt like possibly something
about a place or a person is much too familiar to be new to me. I have believed
it could have been a faint memory from a previous life or just a moment in time
that I may be reliving for some reason, but yeah, no, for me, it’s always
turned out to be just someone or someplace that I forgot that I really did know
or have actually been...and it was lost in one of those creases. Yeah, I’m not
so much an expert on déjà vu.

Yeah, I’m not so much an expert on déjà vu…

OH EM GEE! I think I just experienced déjà vu! No for reals!
I did, I thought I had already typed “Yeah, I’m not so much an expert on
déjà vu and why would I do that any other time, since I’ve never done anything
on déjà vu before. EVER. I don’t think,

That’s me, reliving my life one day at a time, because I
have no idea what happened yesterday, but I do know what I was driving!.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

September 2, 2012 is my husband's birthday. His 74th one. Still works full time plus call outs and feels not answering his phone if the company is calling is just ridiculous. His work ethic is flawless. Retiring from General Telephone after 22 years of buried work, he collected his retirement in a lump sum, invested it and took a new job 2 days later. Utilities Contracting hired him for his experience and put him in charge of a line crew. He has worked on telephone lines since before I first met him some 32 years ago. He's traveled all over Michigan and northern Indiana repairing or installing new lines and the only days he didn't go to work were the few days that kidney stones or a torn up knee kept him off his feet. There have been 2 kidney stone procedures which kept him home a few days, but otherwise, he has taken the earned vacations and no more.

He left Utilities after a couple of months because Verizon (after they purchased General Telephone Michigan) offered him a position at his pre-retirement seniority because they needed expertise. He couldn't refuse the opportunity to get another 22 year pension for possibly short term work and he also thought maybe the new Verizon platform would be better for him. Possibly a chance at higher management or who knows what else could be down the pike. Utilities was great to him and told him anytime he was more than welcomed to return, if things weren't so good at Verizon.

Things weren't so good at Verizon. He stayed 5 weeks. On a Friday afternoon he called Utilities to tell them he was going to work 1 more week and would like to return, they said, "See ya Monday." So retirement number 2 lasted the week-end. Pension number 2 was collected, lump sum and invested. He continued to work full time for a company he really enjoyed. Loving the work makes it less of a job and more of what you do each day. The work ethic he has shown his employers, he has also passed on to the kids. They all show a great dedication to their employers and each has climbed the ladder of their professions with dignity and a proud clean work record. They didn't just bloom that way, they learned it by example.

At the end of this year, retirement number 3 is expected. I have been told repeatedly that he will work until the Christmas break and that's it. I have been hearing this for several years, but I do believe it this time. I do believe he is ready to pack it in and enjoy some time in his yard. Some travel with his bride and a lot of down time in his home. I'm happy about this decision. It's way passed time for him to relax. He has earned his retirement.

This past Friday at 10 minutes to 4 a.m., his phone rang. He was needed in Jackson for an emergency pole down. He was out the door by 4:10 a.m. Jackson is nearly an hour and half from here. I will not list all the details, but he didn't return home until Saturday at 11:30 a.m. Yep, 31 and a half hours later he came home. He then ate a quick sandwich, mowed his 3 acres, took a shower and we went to the car show in our hometown. All his choices. Then, finally, he took an hour and a half nap. Michigan football was one, so he got up to watch that.

I tell that little tale because you need to know he isn't human. He isn't normal. What he is, is extraordinary and dedicated. What he is, is a little more than most of the other men I know. A little more stubborn, a little more dedicated to doing what's right. He's a lot more than that, but his employers know this is who he is.

We have been married 31 years in March, if we make it through the first 3 months of retirement, that is. I have watched him lose 2 of his daughters through no fault of his own. They chose to disassociate and he had to accept that. Their children are missing the best Grampa ever. I have watched him fall in love with each and every one of the rest of his grandchildren as they came along and each of them love him right back. This big bear of a man is putty in any of their hands. We share 9 granddaughters and 1 grandson. We have the most awesome children-in-laws and wouldn't trade one of them. That blessing is because the boys all learned how to treat a woman from him, I think. I don't live with the boys, of course, so I don't really know how they treat their wives when they are alone, but I do know they never saw this man treat his wife with anything but love and respect. Our daughter learned what is expected of a man and bless her heart, she found one finally who just might be a mini-Mike. Mike does enjoy teasing me about a buttload of things, I can deal with that and he does make me laugh. I may or may not do a little teasing myself.

So Happy Birthday to my Baby and here's to many more~ right by my side. And know that when I count my blessings, my winning pick in the husband lottery is always near the top of my list.

My Audio Books Available

I have written and recorded two (2) audio books.
1) Beautiful Betsy... the story of Betsy from before her conception until she becomes a grandmother. It is based in Durand, Mi.
2) Summer in Martinstown...Follows a family through one southern summer. Experience their challenges and their trials along with their victories.
Both books were written and read by Jo Heroux.
You may contact me by emailing me at joheroux@gmail.com....as soon as paypal notifies me of your payment, your books will be shipped.