Brayden Schenn Had a Goal, an Assist… and a Belly Scar

That sound you hear is our female readership squealing as their primal instincts send blood rushing to their nether regions. Looking at you, Brandi:

Schenn was cut by Dainius Zubrus’ skate as he attempted a hit near the boards. But he’s a hockey player and didn’t miss any time. The only lasting impact of the cut will be the inevitable scar that will serve as a treasure map to 20-somethings in Old City eager to uncover parts unknown.

That may have been the best part of Schenn’s evening, but there was more. As reader Ed noted, Brayden may have created his own hattie:

Move over, Gordie Howe, Brayden Schenn has now coined The Schenner— a goal, an assist.. and a scar that’s going to get him laid*:

*For real. I don’t know if I can place enough emphasis on the premium location of that scar. It’s just far enough from things to not be freakish, but close enough to drive puck sluts wild. “Show me your battle wounds, Brayden. Oh yes. YES. YES!” This is “Bruce Jenner requests this look from his plastic surgeon” territory.

Kyle Scott is the founder and editor of CrossingBroad.com. He has written for CBS Philly and Philly Voice, and been a panelist or contributor on NBC Sports Philly, FOX 29 and SNY TV, as well as a recurring guest on 97.5 The Fanatic, 94 WIP, 106.7 The Fan and other stations. He has more than 10 years experience running digital media properties and in online advertising and marketing.

Look at the photo of the broad posted in this column. She’s in the “upper class” expensive board seats and she still can’t hide her trashiness. She’s got some shitty hybrid necklace/dog collar that Avril Lavigne rocked 12 years ago, which was never cool, and only worn by outcasts trying to look like revels in school. Guaranteed there’s a man within 5 seats of her wearing Jean Shorts.

NHL/Hockey fans are worse than Soccer fans if you tell them you don’t like the sport. Instead of having an open discussion regarding the pros/cons of the game as a whole, Hockey fans immediately jump on the offensive ..

Sorry sir, I was hoping we could discuss the over-saturation of the market in terms of teams and players, but instead we had to stoop down to this level. Have fun playing hacky sack in the parking lot while “tailgating” for the flyers game. Nothing screams badass more than jean shorts and poor coordination – I’m off to Xfinity Live.

You talk about an intelectual conversation, while acting like a child. Face it hockey players are some of the fittest athletes in the world. They expend more energy in the first three strides than sprinters do in an entire race.
Hockey>football: Only averages 7 minutes of actual game play in 60 minute game. Overrated.
Hockey>baseball: can have three plus hours of no/1 hit of just shitty play( not a true picthers duel, one of those 5th starter games
Hockey>basketball: the only people who flop more than basketball players are soccer players. No defense in games. No matter how well you play. Never have a shutout ever!!!
Hockey>soccer: constant flopping and penalties for just being touched.
Please next time you want to make a point, don’t act like a child.