Royal Navy Cuts: Nelson Spinning In His Grave

Latest defence cuts, which will see the end of Roal Navy flagship HMS Ark Royal, have been greeted with horror by a top naval expert.

While the cuts will allow two new aircraft carriers to be built, neither will have any jet aircraft taking off from their flight decks for ten years.

Rear Admiral Morton Vulgar-Fraction, RN (retd) said the cuts were a disaster for the Senior Service.

"This is terrible - but only to be expected, I suppose.

"Those political johnnies in Whitehall have had it in for us ever since Trafalgar. Ever since we stuffed the Frogs and made Britannia rule the waves, they know they've owed the Royal Navy and they resent it.

"So, for as long as I can remember, it's been cuts.

"The rot really started to set in 40 years ago when they did away with the daily rum ration. I felt Nelson spin his grave that day, I can tell you.

"I visit the dockyards at Pompey these days, and to be honest, the lack of drunken sailors ravaging the local girls and fighting in lumps outside the pubs really breaks my heart.

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