Empty Desire Touhou fanfic by BR13

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This is a fanfiction I've been working on and still on going. My actual pen name is BR13 so here is the prologue and chapter 1.

Disclaimer: I do no own touhou or any games, anime, novel, organization or any references I've made in this fanfiction.

Prologue:
That moment, I pushed someone out of the way of a falling block of cement from some building.

That the time I lost everything.

-Am I really going to die…

Yes you are…
But we can give you another chance…

So, do you want to live or do you want to die?

-I want to live…

That was the time when I, Kurokami Mashiro(), a regular human being, died or more so vanished from this world. That was the time I lost everything in exchange for a new life. My memories. My shadow. The only thing I remember is what I need to live and my name.

Chapter 1: So That Others May Live

I woke up in an unfamiliar forest wearing a different set of clothes. I was wearing a white shirt with a black sweater vest and tie, a pair of black pants with a belt, the pair of glasses I always wear and a pair of headphones with an inverted pentagram. Also to my surprise, there are two duffel bags, one filled with clothes and the other one is filled with weapons. The first thing that came in to my mind is where I am.

I looked around the forest. There is an unidentified being that attacked me. To my disbelief, it looked like a yokai. I know I have to run. I have to get away from here. But my feet won’t move. It’s trembling from fear.

But then there was a blaze of fire that forced the yokai to run away.

“Are you all right?”
A girl that came out asked me.
She is wearing an old shinkasen uniform with a blue skirt.

“Yes thanks to you.”
I said as I stood up.
Then that was when I remembered to ask where I am.

“Umm, excuse me miss, but where exactly am I?”

“Eh, are you lost?”

“You can say that. I just woke up here.”

“So do you remember where you were before you passed out or where you live?”

“No, the only thing I remember is my name. I mean, I don’t even know why I have these.”

“That’s a serious problem.”

But then a scythe suddenly stuck somewhere by my neck, missing my jugular by 5mm. It was done by a different girl.
“tsk”

“You’re the only human closest to immortality.”
Mononobe-san looked at me.

I’m in trouble. I’m going to die without knowing anything. I’m not going to allow that but what can I do? As I moved back, I accidently touched something useful, a stun grenade.
Surprisingly, I know how to use it and I did. I closed my eyes right before it exploded. After hearing the faint explosion muffled by my headphones, I grabbed my bags and Mononobe-san’s hand and ran away from there.

◇

My eyes are still a bit blinded from earlier and there is still that faint ringing in my ear but I can feel someone is dragging me. That’s right I’m running. Then my vision became clear. It was that guy I saved earlier. He is holding my hand with his right and carrying a pair of heavy bags on his left. His grip on me is really strong and thanks to him, we escaped the shinigami.
Still one thing is bothering me. It is what that shinigami said. About this guy being the human closest to immortality. That hit me being a hermit with the goal of immortality.

Who is he exactly?

Those where the words going through my head and it bothered me even more after I saw that he has no shadow.

“Umm, do you know where are you going?”
I asked him and he suddenly stopped.

“Where are we going?”

I knew it. He was just running randomly and yet why does it feels like he knows where are we going.

◇

I’m still running but as I ran fragments of some of my memories came back. It all has something do with what I am doing now and back then. The reason for my weapons in the bag… I am someone that shouldn’t exist. Then what does that shinigami want from me? The human closest to achieving immortality? I don’t care a bit about that. But all I know is I have to live. I want to live. So that others may live.

I stopped for a bit to catch my breath and the one I accidentally dragged with me.

“Sorry about that. So, where are we?”

“hah, hah, I don’t know. How come you’re still okay?”

“I don’t know.”

“So you’re name is Kurokami Mashiro?”

“Yes, but just call me Shiro.”

“Okay then, I’m Mononobe no Futo.”

“Well Mononobe-san, can you help m…”

Before I even finished my sentence I blacked out and the last thing I remember is hitting the ground.

◇

Again I woke up in a very unfamiliar place. But this time it appears that I’m in some sort of room. A very traditional room with things placed in an odd manner. I found my bags on the corner of the room. I then stood up.

“Oh, it looks like you’re awake.”

There was another girl by the door. She is wearing a bit modern clothes compared to the one I met earlier and like me, she has a pair of headphones.

“Ummm, thanks for helping me but where am I?”
That question became somewhat of a frequent phrase with me.

“You’re in the Hall of Dreams’ Great Mausoleum.”

“Who brought me here?”

“It was Futo.”

“Mononobe-san?”

“Yes.”

“Then I have to thank he…”
Then my head started aching.

“Hey are you okay?”

“My head it hurts.”

“Stay still okay.”

My vision is blurring again. I’m going to black out again. NO! Not this time. I then bit my hand to give me pain in order to avoid blacking out.

It worked. I got control of my senses and avoided blacking out.

“So Futo said that you have no memory what so ever?”

“Most of them. All I remember are the basic things that have been drilled in to my subconscious mind and my name.”

“It seems that it is true. Your eyes have no life as if you’re empty. There is also your missing shadow.”

“I also has this crazy shinigami trying to kill me while spouting some nonsense about being very close to immortality.”

“What? So you’re a hermit as well.”

“What’s a hermit?”

“Humans that seek strive for immortality. Futo and I are also hermits.”

“I really don’t care about immortality. Without any memories, purpose, nor goal, I might as well
be dead but I want to live. I need to find a purpose for once I was denied of being exist.”

“Okay then.”
That was the time I became a vassal for Toyosatomimi-san.

◇

I am going to where we let Shiro stay. It was right next to my room. I entered the almost barren room which is only decorated by the things that are originally there. Also Shiro isn’t here. That was when I took a look at his belongings. There was nothing useful there that could make him regain his memories.

“What are you doing Mononobe-san?”

It was Shiro. He saw me looking through his things. When I looked at him, I saw him as though he was disappearing. I can’t even feel his presence.

“Sorry. I just thought that…”

“I know but I already did that. Though I have to tell you that I remembered something while we are running…”

“What is that?”

“I was someone that doesn’t exist.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Just say that I have a skill set that made me special.”

“What is that?”

“Assassinations, search and rescue, search and destroy, gathering information, driving, piloting, CQB, and sniping. I had a very gray and red life.”

“Is that all you remember.”

“It’s just the skills and some of the things I did.”

“So do you remember how old are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then, do you have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t know. Eh, wait, why are you asking me that?”

“No real reason.”

I looked at Shiro. He’s eyes are dark and lifeless. His emptiness is reflected by his light blue eyes. There is that empty feeling. I was extremely worried.

“Why don’t I show you around the town tomorrow, Shiro?”

“Sure why not.”

◇

In the world without any sense, or to say the world that saved Shiro from death, is where the six spirits that contracted Shiro.

Luce the divine spirit…

Ombra the shadow spirit…

Undine the water spirit…

Sylph the wind spirit…

Gnome the earth spirit…

And Salamandra the Fire spirit…

These six resides with in Shiro and each holds a fragment of his memory.

“So, when are we going to do give him back his memories and his shadow?”

“No, not yet. He must not yet know of our existence for when he does, he’ll kill himself.”
Salamander said.

“That’s right. For the sake of the revival of the true son of man, the lord of all beings!”
Ombra said.

“*sigh* anything goes. As long as I get to have fun.”
Sylph said.

And so their argument continued.

◇

I woke up around 4 a.m. for some unknown reason. There I decided to make breakfast for everyone here and then do some training. As I walk by the dim hall, some phrases started to bother me. They were “so that others may live”, “no one gets left behind”, “he who dares wins”, “trust your friends, help them when they need it”, “don’t give up. You’re not allowed to give up for any reason”, and “be ready with pessimism, act with optimism”. That must how I lived when I still had my memories so I decided to live like that.

After cooking breakfast, I left it there with a note and went back to my room. Looking at my things, I have five pairs of what I’m wearing, two tactical vests, magazine holsters, two pairs of sleeping garments, two pairs of jerseys, around 100 meters of high strength rope, and what appears to be rappelling equipment. Why do I even have these? Still it’s better to have these when needed. There I changed to my jersey and started to run around the mausoleum. After one hour of running, I cleaned the hall and other empty rooms. I finished around 7 a.m.

I was in my room changing when Mononobe-san entered.

“Wah, Sorry!”
Mononobe-san then turned around.

“It’s okay.”
I went over her when I finished changing.

“So what bring Mononobe-san here?”

“It’s time for breakfast. Shiro cooked it right?”

“Yeah, I kind of woke up early.”

We walked toward the dining room when Mononobe-san brought up something.

“Shiro, can you stop calling me Mononobe-san.”

“Then what do I call you?

“How about Fu-chan?”

“We’re not that close yet. I’ll just call you Futo-san.”

“Okay then.”

◇

I am sitting in the far corner of the table. I’m a bit nervous since this is the first time I ate with a bunch of girls with me as the only guy or maybe not but still, I’m nervous. Futo-san sat next to me.

“This is good Shiro.”

“Thanks Futo-san.”

“So you’re Kurokami Mashiro.”

The ghost like figure across Futo-san, Soga no Tojiko, Soga-san as I call her said.

“Shiro looks kind of dull.”

The girl next to her, Kaku Seiga, Kaku-san as I call her, said.

“Maybe I am. After all I don’t remember anything prior to yesterday.”

“And yet Shiro seem to cook even better that any of us.”
Toyosatomimi-san said.

“Maybe I used to cook a lot.”

I then felt a murderous aura next to me, to be exact, something that is not living. As a precaution, I brought some of the thermite grenades I have.

I looked back and a zombie like girl tried to bite me. As a reflex, I grabbed the pair of chopsticks and placed it in between her mouth rendering her unable to close it. I was shocked that I could even do that.

“Whew, that was close.”

“Okay, Shiro passed.”
Kaku-san said.

“Passed what Kaku-san?”

“That’s a secret.”

We continued to eat.

◇

Shiro and Futo left. Seiga and Tojiko were left here with me sitting.

“So Miko-sama, it seems that he is really capable.”

“Seiga’s right and he doesn’t even remember much at that point.”

“Just what is he Miko-sama?”

“The human closest to immortality, Tojiko.”

“It would be nice if we could get close to Shiro but it looks like Futo beat us to is.”

“Don’t worry Seiga. We can take our time.”

◇

I was walking in the Human village with Shiro. I looked at him. He seems much better that he was last night. He looks more alive right now.

“Shiro, you look much better now.”

“Well, I decided to accept it. I’ll regain my memories someday. But right now, I’ll just focus of what’s in front of me. After all, if I keep looking back or too far ahead, I’ll miss what’s in front of me.”
Shiro then looked at me.

Our eyes met and my heart started to beat really fast. I felt really hot. It was like being placed in a trance.

“HELP! THERE’S A FIRE!”

Our moment came to an end and Shiro rushed to help.

“My daughter is still in there, please someone save her!”

The lady crying in front of the burning house shouted.
When I looked, Shiro was already in front of the door feeling it. He then kicked it and moved to the side of the door. Then a blast of fire erupted. It is a phenomenon commonly known as backdraft. He then rushed inside and the exit collapsed.

◇

This is sure a bright idea. Just rush in, find the girl, and get out. I’m out of my mind. I found the girl crying in a less burned room in the second floor near a sink. I checked if there is still water there and to our luck there is. I ripped one of the sleeves on my shirt and damped it with water. I covered the girl’s nose and mouth to prevent her from smoke inhalation. As for me I held my breath.

I was carrying the girl on my back while heading back down but the stairs collapsed. Just great,
I then moved towards the nearest window on a room which is less on fire. I know that once I opened that window, I have seconds to get out before being burned by the backdraft. I kicked it open and jumped out. To cushion the impact, I held the girl in front of me and landed on my back.
Futo-san came running towards me.

“Shiro! Are you okay?”

“*cough* *cough* I’m fine and so is she.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I stood up and started to walk away.

“Wait. Onii-chan, here’s the sleeve of your clothes.”

“Oh, thanks.”

I smiled back and then continued to walk back.

“Are you crazy? Look at you Shiro, you’re all messed up and your clothes are in tatters.”

“No clothes are worth more than a person’s life. I’m willing to go through hell so that others may live.”