Saturday, November 3, 2007

Wow! Where did the summer go?

Okay... the last you heard, in March, I no longer had a job. The job of
15 years at the newspaper as a graphic designer. I think I mentioned
that I quit... actually that is what I thought I was going to do. I had
just had my annual review by someone that I had never even worked on a
project with and I decided it was time to exit stage left. Besides. SXSW
was going on. What better time to just be rid of my job so I could go
out all day every day and night to hear music. First stop, Opal Divine's
on South Congress. It was 3 in the afternoon and there I was. Of coarse
the questions began. "What are you doing here at 3 in the afternoon,
you have a job!" "Uh, no I don't. I think I just quit." I told all my
friends that I had walked away from my job. I remember the look on
Jimmy LaFave's face asking if I was sad and did I cry when I drove away.
I said. No. It was a weight off of my shoulders. I didn't have a plan
but it felt good.

That evening I went home and Dan, the intellectual
boyfriend suggested I not quit, having worked with the Ray Marshall
Center of Human Resources at UT for 15 years he wanted to examine the
situation. So, he suggested going back to work the next day. Then I got
fired. That was such a blessing on so many levels. I really have some
serious angels watching out for me. I thought I loved my corner office
with the view enough to make it work. I thought I loved my boyfriend
enough to make that work. Both my employer and boyfriend decided
differently and now, 8 months later, I thank God that they made those
decisions for me because I would have continued in both situations and
neither were healthy. Both situations were toxic. The powers that be at
the Statesman came in and moved all the creative designers out of our wonderful
little haven in the corner office where we were able to brain storm, we had a view of the Austin skyline and room to breathe. They purposely moved us into
the middle of the Marketing department with 5 foot dividers between us.
That's right our own little cubicles. I remember the first morning in our
little cubicles James, who was once the head designer, sent an email to all of the designers that said
"Do you feel like we have been divided and conquered?" That was exactly
what it felt like. I could no longer look over and see his cute
freckled face or Sueanne either laughing or crying while reading her
screen. I had my own little purple corner decorated with a trickling water feature
and photos of all my favorite people. People from all over the building
would come and hide in my corner of the Universe through out the day just to feel
peaceful.

That was all good but I had been in constant physical pain for
about 7 years, knowing all the while that if I didn't have to go to
this office every day and market something that I totally didn't believe
in that I wouldn't have to hold all that pain in my body. But there was
no easy way out. It was insane. But... my angels were looking out for
me as usual and took care of all the details. I love that about my life.
So... check it out. There went the job. I have another huge complicated
situation in my life that I am not sure what to do about. that was in
March. Okay... then meanwhile ... the boyfriend Dan was making plans of
his own. I was thinking "Cool, I no longer have a job, we can travel. He
was thinking. "I have to get rid of the girlfriend who no longer has
benefits. Not to speak of the ex-girlfriend he was becoming close to
again. Then in May, Dan and I broke up, that would have
been on my birthday. So... I just poured all that energy into a film
project with the hormones and made a hell-of-a-film project titled "The
Running Of The Bulls" a tribute to all the Taurus ladies in the group
and Willie of coarse. He made an appearance in the film as well. I put
my house at the lake on the market and it sold within the first week in a
dead market. Wow! I went to St Louis for a couple of weeks for a visit
with my son, his fiance and grandson. Came home and my best friend from
high school, Shirley, came to visit from Albuquerque. That was fun! Did
I say that Dan and I broke up? Yeah but he was still hanging around.
Then I packed up all my stuff and moved it into storage and moved in
with Nita for a little while. Planned a trip to Hawaii and then decided
to completely put the brakes on the relationship with Dan. Went to
Hawaii and had a fabulous time, got a whole new perspective on life came
home and here I am. I am going to look for my own place to live this
week. I'll write more later.

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Born To Create!

I am attracted primarily to the evocative power of colors, shapes and symbols that have traveled through time that bring with them the power to heal. I use these elements to create art that awakens the emotions of the soul with depth and color. My goal is to spark memories and emotion, to inspire people to look inside
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