Wednesday, September 17, 2008

First off, I to Mr. Marriedthreemonthsoffyourmission, I will now refer to you as Chuck. (the former is too long) Anyways Chuck, you haven't been calling me back. For that you get a fist shaking.

Also, an update to my meme, to the girl I shall refer to as Jillian, I now have her number. Victory is mine.

As to other things, last night I was with a friend, known fairly well by a certain nickname to his nickname, so thus I grant him a new one; Forrest.Well Forrestlikes this Jenny, a lot. He thinks he may have a future with her, and has a well laid out plan. Whether or not it works, or a wretch comes into play to throw things out of wack is beyond my expertise. But it is admirable that he does have a plan, something that I need to do more, as anything beyond tomorrow night is fuzzy.

Anyways, he likes her, but she is a freshman and he isn't and doesn't want to scare her off, nor does she know he likes her. Well she was with him, but cuddling with some other dude. Forrest and me send a few texts, he needs to get out and rant. So he comes by, and we take off for the lake, shouting lyrics at the top of our lungs and him pounding on the wheel. Well he is shouting lyrics, I attempt to guess them while shouting so I wasn't awkwardly watching him vent out his anger. I wish I was more of a shouter. Or a voice for it at times.So we get to the lake, and walk along a path, as we feared we would be trespassing since the gates were closed. He mostly talked while I fed in some input, but he definitely has interesting insights into himself, he could properly gauge how he was feeling and not do anything rash. Sure he wants to cause the armaggedon now, but he isn't reacting to what is going on and holding himself in check. It is definitely interesting. Also along the way we saw some skunks, and though we wished for cameras to take some pictures, the flash would have scared them most likely and we would have stunk up a storm.So we walked and talked, turned around and talked some more. Unfortunately there was no singing so I can't burst into primary song with the words "pioneer children sang as they walked..." Maybe as they drove though?

As for myself, in combination with previous days and last nght, I realize that I frequently think of how others would perceive me, if I'm normal, strange, transparent, all of the above. I realize I need to stop worrying about it, what others may think. It does no good and I lose out on the opportunity to be myself. I even was comparing myself to Donkey from Shrek, in how it may be perceived that my emotions are on the cuff of my sleeve. I'm not sure how I think about all of it myself. I may let you know when I find out, but I'm going to go on now, and not worry about what others think and be myself.

So you hear me world, you don't have anything on me anymore! Nothing at all! I am my own person, and I shall be the victor. (This is where you all have thoughts about the end of the world coming soon pop into your head.