---Snapshots from a quick 24-hour trip to the coast to visit Kristian where he was working. Half the time I was alone with all four little ones at the beach (no time for pictures then!), which was one of the most exhausting things I've ever done, but I lived to tell about it and they had a blast. I've already *almost* forgotten the difficulty, and the memories of the fun are totally winning out.---

FREEDOM has been a theme unexpectedly dominating my 2017. I didn’t set out to explore it, it just keeps hitting me hard as I read through the Bible.

I see the word freedom thrown around a lot online and such. I know sometimes we use the word lightly, which is fine, but I'm struck by how often we can be tricked into thinking we've arrived at freedom via some thing or circumstance. Sometimes we count on a sense of momentary freedom which won't last in the long run or through the hard times. We look to things that are limiting, lacking depth and longevity.

True freedom is not attached to a paycheck or health (or supplements & oils) or a house or a spouse or a job or "finding" oneself. Those things can be awesome gifts, but they are not ultimate freedom. People in literal chains talk about FREEDOM because of Jesus, as do people dying from cancer. This year has brought some of the greatest challenges I’ve dealt with, yet the freedom and love of Jesus have been all-encompassing. Freedom is not just for the easy, care-free days.

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians)

More reflection on freedom takes me in this direction: The freedom Jesus offers allows us to live focused on the life Christ calls us to, not weighed down by what others think. It releases people-pleasers like me from their bondage. True freedom breaks the chains of addiction- whether it's to a substance, pornography, social media, or success. And the way I see it, that freedom is only found in the love of Jesus.

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " (Galatians 5)

And still another way to allow God's freedom to change us: When we take what the Bible says and morph it into our own list of rules or opinions or oppressive guidelines, that’s not freedom in Christ. That’s living like the Pharisees of Jesus’s day, and many religions of today. But when we look at what Jesus taught in love and wisdom and form our lives around HIM, freedom is inevitable. Jesus’s love is breathtaking and I’m astounded by the freedom he offers. See what Paul says in the Bible says about living under the law vs. living as sons and daughters in Galatians 3 and 4.

Discussing (arguing over) what type of animal dug the hole they had just discovered. Raccoon or snake. I didn't realize raccoons dug holes, but my animal enthusiast informed me it's true, and upon doing my research I found he's in fact correct.

Flooded path. "Mom, take a picture that makes it look like we're stuck on an island!" I didn't quite succeed at that, but thought you should know their vision!

Oh my, how I am going to miss these days years from now.

I have been looking so forward to summer and all it allows. I leave lots of time unplanned and empty intentionally for them to create and build and do some work and play with friends, or just be bored. (When anyone comes to me and says they are bored my answer has always been, "Awesome! What are you going to do about it?!" They have learned by now this is what they're going to hear so I don't get that complaint too much anymore. If they do persist in their boredom, though, I have a few good jobs I dole out.)

But I also build in a good amount of planned (though usually spontaneous) adventures, typically free and outdoors. That's our favorite. I study Google map overviews of wooded parts of our neighborhood and surrounding areas to find paths and hikes and we have the best time exploring. For a variety of reasons, we aren't able to travel for the most part this summer but our almost daily hikes transport me to mountain paths in Colorado in seconds. I get my fix. It's awesome. It's not perfect, lest you be deceived by the photos. It's usually super humid and there are mosquitoes and you can count on a few complaints along the way, but it always just feels so good for our souls.

I find that being out in nature affords so many opportunities for great conversations about beauty, creation, and the magnitude of God. We talk about perseverance and strength almost every time we are out because we are usually pushing ourselves physically. The kids ask questions about bugs and animals and streams and plants and then we come home and look them up if we don’t know the answer.

The other day after a hike that included a few wrong turns (the big boys were convinced in a very dramatic way we were lost), we had a great talk on the drive home about how like life the walk was. Things don’t always go as planned, you might get a bit off track, but you keep pushing forward and do the hard work to stay the course.

In any picture you see, there's a fourth child just outside the frame that I'm not permitted to show per understandable foster care rules. And for any picture you see, there are a million other pieces of life that are beautiful and difficult that aren't documented. (Such is social media!)

One of my children who shall remain nameless but not photoless deconstructs all things, all day. Some of his current obsessions include "cooking" with all the silverware, and watching the water run down the refrigerator front, and then "cleaning up" the water with all the clean dishtowels. This can all go down in about 15 seconds, like while I'm trying to change a diaper in the next room. Then I run in because I hear the drawers opening and he looks up and says, "Sorry, Mom" with a big smile, and it's a good thing he's so darn sweet. I have never had a child like this one and he amazes and baffles me constantly. He is so unique and so awesome, and has been through more difficult circumstances in his short life than many grown-ups. I'm excited to see what's in store for him.

Anyway, this little buddy seems to be in his element when we are out on a path in the middle of nature, or when he can plop down in sand or dirt somewhere and dig. The calming effect of God's creation is a marvelous thing.

So that's where we head most days.

“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” -Einstein

“Look at everything always as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time: Thus is your time on earth filled with glory.” -A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

I see it as such an amazing privilege to have the opportunity to experience wonder with my children- not through extravagant purchases or grand vacations- it doesn't require any of that, though those things can be fun too. I'm sure there are many ways to cultivate wonder with one's children, but right now in my season of life it looks a lot like this: Seeing beauty in the small things everyday, the pleasant and unpleasant alike. It comes through exploring together- exploring the world right around us and exploring what's deep in our hearts, exploring who God is, what the Bible says, and exploring the greatest ways we can look beyond ourselves and love others extravagantly.

I love reading about Jesus’s life of care and compassion. His leadership style is fascinating.

During his lifetime he constantly made himself available to those in need around him. He took moments away by himself to rest and pray, but even then folks sometimes followed him. He had compassion on them. He didn’t tell them to go away, but instead spent time with them. He knew that the people needed to know Love and Forgiveness. He knew that He had LIFE to offer.

This availability and compassion inspire me in parenting. But they also teach me about His attentiveness and kindness towards me. He is always available to restore in weariness and weakness and emptiness. Always.