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Metal Slug XX is a remake of the DS's Metal Slug 7. After playing the new version, I don't think I can go back. The cartoony visuals have been expanded to a proper resolution, showing off the same zany antics we've watched for 14 years. Two-player simultaneous action has been added, creating a cooperative experience we've enjoyed since 1996. And it's still impossible to aim diagonally.

I'm going to tell you about an obscure survival horror game. The name of this obscure survival horror game is Enemy Zero and it stars Laura from D's Diner . . . but it doesn't star Laura the character, it stars Laura the actress, because game designer Kenji Eno was an avant-garde madman who wanted to turn CG models into small-screen starlets.

Other than that, in Monshou no Nazo, there's a certain generic feel to characters. Some guys are faster and get critical hits more often. Others ride horses (which they must dismount to participate in castle levels), so they can cover terrain more quickly. A few more either use bows, can unlock doors and chests or have superior defense at the cost of inferior speed. Overall, most of them tend to mesh together into a big glob of the mundane.

Naturally, diving is what prevents Blue World from feeling much like "just another game." The waters of the world's most memorable bodies of water teem with life and play host to everything from seals to gray whales to eels to jellyfish. In most instances, you're able to move in close for an investigation and you can watch as shy fish retreat into their holes or hungry sharks circle in murkier waters as they make meal plans. The various residents of this liquid world seem apathetic about your presence. You're a novelty at best, hardly worthy of their attention because you mean them no harm.

The game, as a whole, stutters and limps along, seemingly existing only to tie up to loose ends of the first game. When an impossible chasm separates Kate from her clockwork train, a character from the last game literally drops out of the sky and offers her a steaming hot cup of deus ex machina. Though it’s prettied up with the stellar graphics and adequate writing, Syberia II is a game lacking in total ambition.

There was a haphazard tension in the original Aliens Versus Predator that kept players constantly moving through the maze-like levels the game forced them into. Hitting a dead end in those mazes with H.R. Geiger’s nightmarish rape-monsters only a few feet behind was cause for me to shut off the original game more than once. That's gone here.

Most of the scenes make good sense and do a nice job of either building tension or adding depth to the characters, but there are instances where something will happen and it feels like the developers are just pandering to my testosterone. Example: characters Ethan Mars and the ever-so-sexy Madison Paige are sitting on the floor in a seedy hotel room. Ethan tells Madison that the only thing he cares about right now is finding his son. Madison responds by leaning in for a passionate kiss. The moment is supposed to be dramatic, I assume, but the timing is so ridiculously absurd that I can't help but think that it was included simply so the player has another chance to admire Madison's svelte physique as the distraught Ethan experiences carnal pleasure.

t's safe to say that Arkham Asylum is carried by the Joker. He isn't just your main adversary — his presence is EVERYWHERE. Due to all the monitors and stuff that's part of Arkham's security system, you'll see his face and listen to his taunts everywhere you visit. If he's not verbally ripping common thugs a new one for their inability to take you out, he'll be cackling over the next deathtrap that's been placed between you and him.

As you press on through one dungeon after another, you'll find yourself caught up in a charming storyline that delves into not only into Shiren's past, but the history of the small village that he's chosen as his base of operations. Taken at face value, the story seems almost painfully simple: Shiren's goal is to find the shape-shifting Karakuri Mansion of legend, and of course the great treasures that it holds inside.

What The Squeakquel brings to the table is nothing new; we've all seen rhythm games in the past in the form of games such as Rock Band, Guitar Hero and even Dance Dance Revolution. Alvin's latest outing comes closest to the last of those three and consists of gameplay where the player must do nothing more than use the stylus to match on-screen arrows, but that's where the similarities between the two titles end.

Though Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter is an exemplary title for those looking to satisfy their craving for golden age shooters, the pace is not suited for everyone (especially newcomers). It's a hardcore offering in an unbelievably simple package. The recreation here is so faithful that it's difficult not to recommend the game to everyone in spite of that hardcore bent, especially given the achievements and multi-player support. If you've never partied with Sam before, now is the best time to start. If you're the sort who plays both PC and Xbox 360 games alike, deny the urge to use mouse-and-keyboard controls and go with this version instead. It trumps Steam's offering by far.

Hello Kitty Party is a collection of twenty five mini-games featuring the wide cast of Sanrio’s cute-troop. Whoever your favorite Sanrio character is, whether it’s green Keroppi or the titular Hello Kitty, there’s a game that features them. Unfortunately, in this case it’s like having your favorite childhood characters feature in a sweat shop. The games are mindless and repetitive and require little to no participation on the player’s part except the ability to briefly touch a stylus to a screen.

For anyone who has viewed the movie, the mere existence of the game may seem puzzling. There, the grand war was merely a backdrop, a meaningless cycle that only highlighted the Kildren's wasted existence. Nevertheless, Project Aces has moved these hollow encounters to the forefront in The Sky Crawlers: Innocent Aces. The team behind the well-received Ace Combat series has created another game full of satisfying flight action, but they've subverted the thrust of the film's message in the process.

The major failing of Shattered Memories is its predictability. The whole point of a survival horror game is to keep a player on his toes. The formula that the game establishes early on never undergoes much change or deviation, allowing the player to become too comfortable. Not having weapons or a combat system keeps the focus on atmosphere but it is a misused concept. Had the designers broken up the monotonous exploration of the environment with a few well-timed scares they could’ve captured the full potential of their innovation and delivered a game that was truly unique in the genre, instead of just being a quirky diversion.

What makes things even worse is that they are sandwiched between several load screens that are disguised to trick you into believing that they contain useful or exciting information. You'll soon learn better. Pre-game tutorials explain how you're supposed to proceed through the challenge at hand, but the examples on-screen have little in common with the diversions that actually follow. The result is that you're never prepared for what comes next until you've played the game frequently enough to figure things out on your own. Your first experience with any mode feels like trying to kiss a porcupine's butt in the dark.

When I borrowed a Turbo Duo back in 1993, I cycled through over a dozen games in the span of two days. While most of those 48 hours became a blur, a few moments stood out; Shadow of the Beast's conceptually simple title screen was one. Grass gorgeously scrolls underneath the beast's feet as clouds pass overhead, and the quiet soundtrack — initially a simple series of bells — gradually becomes an epic showcase of strong percussion, evocative wind pipes, and resounding chimes. It's simple but inspired.

Perhaps the biggest problem isn't the limited nature of the building, though; it's the backtracking. When you first arrive, you'll make the rounds as you get acquainted with your new classmates. That takes a lot of time, since at first it can be easy to head down the wrong hallway and find yourself at a dead end. Once you know your way around, which may not happen until you've played for a few hours, you'll still find yourself wearing holes in the hallway carpet because you're covering the same ground so frequently. Instead of a resourceful sleuth, you'll feel like an errand girl.