Alignment principle

Principle

When everything lines up, there are no contradictions to cause
disagreement.

How it works

When a person receives a communication from you, one of the ways they act to
assess whether they can trust you and trust your message
is to compare it with other things you have said and done. If all of these agree
(that is, they align) then they will be likely to trust you fully. On the other
hand, the more you are unaligned, the less they will trust you.

No mixed messages

The opposite of aligned communication is a mixed message, where beliefs,
values, attitudes and prior words and actions do not tell the same story.

If you display values that indicate you are selfish or if you have a history
of unreliability, then asking someone to lend you some money may not be
successful.

Internal alignment

Internal alignment occurs where a person's internal drivers, include
beliefs and values as well
as general goals, are aligned with their words and actions.

Thus, for example, if you believe that you are a kind person and consequently
talk this way, but then are unkind to another person, you are showing a lack of
internal alignment.

The more out of alignment one is, the more one will appear shallow and lacking
in integrity.

External alignment

External alignment occurs where a person's words and deeds align with the
internal drivers of other people. Typically this at least involves alignment
with common values, such as respecting others and helping those in distress.

Full alignment

Full alignment occurs where two people have both internal and external
alignment. This is extremely rare, although it can be approached when people
work in a shared and collaborative culture.

So what?

At minimum seek external alignment, although it is difficult to avoid sending
mixed messages through your body language.