This one is a tad bit long but will definitely put a smile on your face!!!! Well worth the read!

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Guest on the blog today Ms. Natalie Niven i love her to bits she owns and writes on slinworldtoday. she is noted also as a lovely sl model and dramamama of SL.

[9:21] NATALIE Niven: How to be a model in sl by Natalie Niven and Willilicious Georgette[9:22] Willilicious Georgette: okay yall we gonna do this the gettho and ierland way[9:22] NATALIE Niven: do u mean Ireland? lol[9:22] NATALIE Niven: ok[9:22] Willilicious Georgette: yes darlink i cant spell[9:23] Willilicious Georgette: they know what i mean[9:23] NATALIE Niven: first u need to blag ur way into a famous runway show or modelling agency[9:23] Willilicious Georgette: thats why they shutting the fuck up[9:23] NATALIE Niven: it helps if ur already famous btw[9:23] Willilicious Georgette: mmmhmm yup then you gots to get free shits[9:23] NATALIE Niven: yeah they give ya free dresses[9:24] Willilicious Georgette: not the shit but free stuff.[9:24] NATALIE Niven: if ur a diva like me you can demand an exchange on a fugly dress[9:24] Willilicious Georgette: yes i seen her doo it she was like oh no this shit is ugly. sorry no walmark we want prada[9:24] NATALIE Niven: but if ur not a diva ya just have took stupid lol[9:25] NATALIE Niven: I mean too look*[9:25] Willilicious Georgette: LOLOL[9:25] NATALIE Niven: ok next up ya need to just turn up at the show and stand there till its ur turn to walk[9:25] Willilicious Georgette: then you pres the fucking foard key ...[9:25] Willilicious Georgette: foward*[9:26] Willilicious Georgette: when is your turn to walk your fat ass down the runway[9:26] NATALIE Niven: then ya just walk in a straight line down the runway fighting lag[9:26] NATALIE Niven: u do this using the forward arrow keys[9:27] Willilicious Georgette: mind you you could be drung hight or naked or not infront of you computer.[9:27] Willilicious Georgette: drunk![9:27] Willilicious Georgette: sorry let me get the vodlka.[9:27] NATALIE Niven: get me one[9:27] NATALIE Niven: ok back to sl modelling 101[9:27] Willilicious Georgette: sure darlink[9:28] Willilicious Georgette grabs the bottle purs a galls for me then a BIG one fore nat.... hunny the irish love to drink......[9:28] Willilicious Georgette: but back to the lesson....[9:28] NATALIE Niven: if ya have a trip animation now would be the time to use it bearing in mind you will never get near a runway in ur slife again lol[9:28] Willilicious Georgette passes nat a drink in rl...[9:28] NATALIE Niven: lol thanks[9:28] Willilicious Georgette: oh hunny i got that[9:31] Willilicious Georgette: so now you walk your ass down the runway make sure to smile look thin suck in that gut and then stop at the fucking end dont fucking all off damit and pose. the need to take picture of you.[9:31] NATALIE Niven: lol[9:32] NATALIE Niven: ok so thats basically it lol sl modelling 101[9:32] Willilicious Georgette: no no darlink you got to turn around not all the way around back down the runway while your naked sitting infrot of the computer... down the runway[9:32] Willilicious Georgette: and the next bitch up![9:33] NATALIE Niven: ok the end now for the aftershow party[9:33] Willilicious Georgette: go blow the organizer to get up in the world of modeling![9:33] NATALIE Niven: get drunk, cyber with some one famous just like a rl model lol[9:33] NATALIE Niven: yeah[9:33] Willilicious Georgette: ass and pussy world and if your a gasy man give him ass[9:33] NATALIE Niven: lol

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