making sense of loose coffeeshop talk, political analyses and comments

How should we judge a government?

In Malaysia, if you don't watch television or read newspapers, you are uninformed; but if you do, you are misinformed!

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing." - Malcolm X

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience - Mark Twain

Why we should be against censorship in a court of law: Publicity is the very soul of justice … it keeps the judge himself, while trying, under trial. - Jeremy Bentham

"Our government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no

responsibility at the other. " - Ronald Reagan

Government fed by the people

Career options

I suggest government... because nobody has ever been caught.

Corruption so prevalent it affects English language?

Corruption is so prevalent it affects English language?

When there's too much dirt...

We need better tools... to cover up mega corruptions.

Prevent bullying now!

If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? “Orang boleh pandai setinggi langit, tapi selama ia tidak menulis, ia akan hilang di dalam masyarakat dan dari sejarah.” - Ananta Prameodya Toer (Your intellect may soar to the sky but if you do not write, you will be lost from society and to history.)

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Puns which are good tests of English

... and I wonder how much an average Malaysian student of today understands or appreciates them.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane.
The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says, 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

Shouldn't every Malaysian abide by this universal principle?

It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree which he himself stands by the country.

It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country.

It is unpatriotic to support him to the extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country.

In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about him or anyone else.

- Theodore Roosevelt

Best prosecutor money can buy

Apparently he was paid only Rm1000! But it has been alleged he was paid privately by Najib a total sum of Rm9.5 millions! Shouldn't we be concerned about his money trails since? Now with new revelation, allegation that it could have been used to influence Anwar's Sodomy 2 trial cannot be easily dispelled or discounted. The unusual appointment of an Umno lawyer as lead prosecutor, which resulted in reversals of High Court's verdict in Anwar's favour, adds to the suspicion.

In case you didn't notice

"Do not be confused, the account is in my name, but it is not like a personal account," - Najib Tun Razak said in a TV3 interview on 1MDB.

Latest: "I took money for us to spend."

It became clear when the timing coincided with GE13. So was it a bought victory?

Now friends with a common enemy.

Forgiven but not forgotten.

legality

Are we in this situation now?

The only way BN can keep him away

Jailed again for sodomy... not political conspiracy?

We share her grief for the second time...

“I never thought I would go through this ordeal again”.

I came and there was no record...

I was blown up and there were 2 killers but no motive!

Umno wins 88 seats (from 79) at the expense of other coalition partners

Malaysia Boleh Perception Dictionary

Amman, Jordan

Kuala Lumpur

kosongcafe

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Acronym

I have to live with my acronym, Kosong (Malay for Zero). Had I started with just 1 before accumulating the 0, I would have been a millionaire!

Total Pageviews

Followers

Batu Gajah KTMB Station

A Monument of Development at the expense of Convenience a.k.a. White Elephant (for the first few years when it was built before service commenced. Since then, the train service proves to be convenient. So users have no choice but to use it despite its inconvenient location. That's why KTM can ignore our request for a stop at the old station.

A reminder of my Petition

Symbolic of residents' appeal and KTMB's 'Kami Tidak Mahu Balas'. Note KTM responded on Jan 5, 2010 - awaiting a study on the suggestion. This notice shall remain until something is done. 7th Anniversary of No Action yet. Arrogance of a monopolistic entity?

Link List

“Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.” - Mark Twain

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

Wisdom of a Retiree

WORRYING does not take away tomorrow's TROUBLES; it takes away today's PEACE. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

My Ong Badge...

Needs a Mansion to match

Wang

The Chinese character for king - 王- reveals a great deal about the nature of rulership: the three horizontal strokes represent heaven, humanity and earth, while the vertical stroke which holds the celestial, existential and terrestrial realms together and apart symbolizes the upright, honorable and noble qualities required to maintain balance and harmony on all levels. - Antares

Contributors

Be simple... it is not easy!

It’s easy to let your thoughts and worries complicate your life. But it takes great strength to be simple. - Monica Kupfer.

Politically correct, quotable quotes

"I am only one, But still I am one.I cannot do everything, But still I can do something;And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." - Edward Everett Hale

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. - Mahatma Gandhi

You must be the change you want to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi

Think before you whine

Each day,before you say an unkind word - think of someone who can't speak;

before you complain about the taste of your food - think of someone who has nothing to eat;

before you complain about your husband or wife - think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion;

before whining about the distance you drive - think of someone who walks the same distance by foot;

and when you are tired and complain about your job - think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job;

before you complain about life - think of someone who went too early to heaven;

and when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - put a smile on your face and think: I'm glad I'm still alive and can move around!

Advice on relationships:

"Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment" Benjamin Franklin

Sometimes, it is better to be kind than to be right.

Don’t let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in his or her life.

Always be yourself because the people who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

A true friend is someone who says nice things behind your back.

Forget about the people in your past...They didn't make it to your future for a reason.

To the world you may be just one person; but to one person you may be the world.

Cause of problems with Mother-in-law:

Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!

Acknowledgement

Contents were from various sources, and some originals had been edited. My blog serves to inform and hopefully, entertain as well. Please consider it an honour if any of your materials had been used and that it was interesting enough to be shared, for which I am thankful. I apologize if there is unintended infringement of any copyright and would readily remove any materials upon request.