The masses often ask me, "Comrade Gore, why not power our houses by collecting the static electricity created by rubbing woolens and balloons against our hair and skin? Is this not the true People's Power that will end forever the greed and oppression of Big Electricity by giving them a jolt of the Revolution?"

Here's my answer. I came up with it during one of my Leer Jet trips to Asia. The place was crawling with useless, carbon-breathing babies. The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance. They are perpetually moving obstacles that can trip you up and literally impede your progress towards a brighter, enlightened future.

~So I thought, if babies are crawling around aimlessly anyway, why not slip them into static-generating pads connected to the community power grid? Let them earn their keep, sweep the floor, and protect the planet by generating renewable energy at the same time. I call it the TriplePlay™ formula.

For better results use it on a wall-to-wall carpet. Hard wood or tile floors can be used for cleaning with an automatic drooling function.

Educate you child about saving the planet as it crawls around aimlessly anyway!

Comrade Gore,You have shown us once again, why you are worthy to receive the Nobel Peace prize.

You are an inspiration and a wealth of knowledge to be used in this battle to reverse Global Warming™ and save the earth from the ravages of inconsiderate Carbon based life forms and the insidious destruction of our atmosphere from Carbon-dioxide and Methane. What better way than to tax them for their Carbon emissions and force them to generate their own electricity from their Methane emissions.This new invention to harness the power of Revolutionary Rugrats™ is truly for The Children™. It will harness the power and renewable energy that would be wasted raising the next generation of Party workers who were not aborted or were the result of an evening of debauchery.It will give the People the means to repay the State for the cost of the burden of raising their children for them. It truly takes a Village and a benevolent State to raise a Citizen who will contribute to the State and serve the Common Good™.Well done Comrade Gore!!!

Lenin has tears in his eyes. We will buy many of these and have the residents of the gulags crawl about after our "Lubyanka-style" training sessions with them, recharging our "reeducational" tools such as the Taser and Sheeple Prod invented by our Great Motherland!

"The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance."

Margaret Sanger could not agree more. That is why she formed the progressive population control, I mean birth control group: Planned Parenthood. This eugenicist knew that minorities only polluted the gene pool, and that African Americans "breed" excessively.

"Now, Comrade Hasan," You ask me, "Isn't that racism?" Of course not, because it wasn't said by any right winger but by our dear Comrade Margaret Sanger. It is racism except when it isn't. 4 legs are better than 2 except when they are not or when the party says so.

The place was crawling with useless, carbon-breathing babies. The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance. They are perpetually moving obstacles that can trip you up and literally impede your progress towards a brighter, enlightened future.

Comrade Red Square! Am I the only one who sees the error in this? Or have I been blinded once again by your brilliance? But does not a baby represent yet another voter? Do we forget that the baby also represents yet another potential subsidy? Yes, the baby is all that you describe, but it is also much more, at least those that we allow to become future voter/subsidies. I believe it is important that we distinguish those babies that are born outside that imperialist notion of a "nuclear" family to those who aspire to non-progressive futures, those born to single moms/appliances and our progressive leaning comrades that will need the Party to survive.

The place was crawling with useless, carbon-breathing babies. The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance. They are perpetually moving obstacles that can trip you up and literally impede your progress towards a brighter, enlightened future.

Comrade Red Square! Am I the only one who sees the error in this? Or have I been blinded once again by your brilliance? But does not a baby represent yet another voter?

Pupovich, 'tis indeed the brilliance that blinds you. Methinks Red Square has described to perfection not only your average baby, but the typical Democrat voter.

The place was crawling with useless, carbon-breathing babies. The babies are the ultimate mindless consumers. They don't contribute anything to society except waste, gas, noise, and general disturbance. They are perpetually moving obstacles that can trip you up and literally impede your progress towards a brighter, enlightened future.

Comrade Red Square! Am I the only one who sees the error in this? Or have I been blinded once again by your brilliance? But does not a baby represent yet another voter?

Pupovich, 'tis indeed the brilliance that blinds you. Methinks Red Square has described to perfection not only your average baby, but the typical Democrat voter.

Commissarka, I believe Comrade Zampolit sees the wisdom of what I posted. There are babies then there are our progressive babies, and they can be put to use by the Party even before they can walk.

No No No! The comrade Premier is known for his bouts of odd behavior and delusions. Not to worry, Comrade Pup! He's harmless when he gets this way. This is always because he did not take his head meds. Namely, Haldol.

No No No! The comrade Premier is known for his bouts of odd behavior and delusions. Not to worry, Comrade Pup! He's harmless when he gets this way. This is always because he did not take his head meds. Namely, Haldol.

Well it is a hallmark of our glorious Bolshevik past to take great concern in our Party leader's health. After all, heavy is the burden that lies on our shoulder. a burden we do not complain about, since it is For the People™.

No No No! The comrade Premier is known for his bouts of odd behavior and delusions. Not to worry, Comrade Pup! He's harmless when he gets this way. This is always because he did not take his head meds. Namely, Haldol.

Well it is a hallmark of our glorious Bolshevik past to take great concern in our Party leader's health. After all, heavy is the burden that lies on our shoulder. a burden we do not complain about, since it is For the People™.

And, For The Children™! And because We Care™. Remember, Socialism = Compassion.

I need my meds! The schools won't allow me in without them! And ever since I started obeying the skools and taking all the pills, I'm finding it difficult to differentiate objects of the same size. I wonder what could be causing this... probably Bush's mind control device....

Er... this is most embarrassing, but perhaps I... I mean one of my subordinates may be to blame. As Commissar of Mental Health, I recently issued some directives to drive down the cost of these medications to the state (and of course increasing my profits) by tightening up the distribution system of medications and who can authorize their usage. Of course, the Chairman was still exempted from this crackdown, however, in his natural desire to please me, a minor functionary, one I hardly know at all, may have caused a disruption in the meds that eventually reach the Premier via the Chairman. This should be straightened out now any moment. and the culprit and his family, have been summarily shall we say, "isolated from the collective."

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

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Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise