I’ve discovered how to lose weight fast… Really fast

The trouble with this amazing diet that I’m on is that it doesn’t have a name. It all started during the Olympics when I was in France.
I watched a prospect programme about fasting. The first three-quarters were a bit dull, on the medical profit of fasting – about it giving your body time to restore itself. It was the last quarter, however, that got me; the thought you can have 600 calories on the fast day and then anything you like on the eating day. The guinea pigs on the programme were separated into high-fat and low-fat diets on the eating days, and the moving thing was that they both lost the same amount of weight. This meant that, as long as you did the fasting days, you could do whatever you required on the eating days.
I have very strong resolve but only for short periods, so the knowledge that I only have to get through to the next day is what keeps me going. I’ve come to pretty enjoy the fasting days. I have a banana for breakfast, soup for lunch and either steamed vegetables or more soup for supper. I sometimes go to bed structure a mental portrait of a huge breakfast but I always wake up not hungry, which is weird. I adore the eating days as I have a feeling of complete guilt-free consumption – something I have never felt before
I believe I could do this for the rest of my (hopefully longer, as fasting increases longevity) life. I’ve lost two-and-a-half stone and have never felt better. I wandered into Prada the further day, where staff generally eyes me with a silent, “There’s nothing for you here, tubby”. Not this time. I was three sizes below their biggest size and splurged like a fat man in a chocolate plant. I thought I was the only person on this rule until people started to notice that I’d lost weight and ask me how I did it. I’d start to clarify and they would say, “Oh yes, my friend is doing that.”
It appears the prospect programme had a huge impact without knowing it. This is fairly refreshing; nobody is making any direct money from the diet, it’s not a Dukan or an Atkins … but what to call it? A London newspaper expose that claimed it was all the rage in the City called it the Dodo diet, which didn’t create any sense. Then a magazine referred to it as IF (Intermittent Fasting) which still didn’t have the precise ring.
I thought about what I could name it. The Horizon Diet was my first plan, since that was what started it all. “Off-On Diet” was another, but neither sounded right. Then I thought about playing with the word “Fast” and came up with “Fast, Food, Fast, and Food Diet”. I relatively liked that but it’s too long, so I’ve condensed it. Now when I tell people I’m on the “Fast Food Diet” they think I have discovered some amazing weight-loss benefit in a KFC party bucket.
I jiggle and try to look mystical but ultimately can’t help trying to change them. I have become evangelical about this rule. It’s actually the first diet I’ve ever tried that not only works but that I could see myself doing for ever. Who knew that a dull old science programme like prospect would be such a life-changing viewing experience? Must go … it’s an eating day.

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