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- Jerry Whittaker

Gambling
Quotes

Some
interesting gambling quotes...

"The typical gambler might not really
understand the probabilistic nuances of the wheel or the
dice, but such things seem a bit more tractable than, say,
trying to raise a child in this lunatic society of ours."
- Arthur S. Reber, The New Gambler 's Bible

"In the queer mess of human destiny the
determining factor is luck. For every important place in
life there are many men of fairly equal capacities. Among
them luck decides who shall accomplish the great work, who
shall be crowned with laurel, and who shall fall back into
silence and obscurity." - William E. Woodward

Nine gamblers could not feed a single
rooster. - Yugoslav proverb

"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will,
but remember it didn't work for the rabbit." - R. E.
Shay

"A gambler with a system must be, to a
greater or lesser extent, insane." - George Augustus
Sala (1828-95) English writer and journalist

"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing
from something." - Wilson Mizner

"I am sorry I have not learned to play
cards. It is very useful in life. It generates kindness
and consolidates society." - Samuel Johnson

"The race is not to the swift, nor the
battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet." -
Grantland Rice

"Don't gamble the rent money or you'll land
up sleeping on the park bench." - Capt. Summer Fun,
Ret.

"Blackjack is the only casino game an
amateur can learn to play and at which he can definitely
win." - Lawrence Revere, author, Playing Blackjack as a
Business

"Gambling is the future on the internet.
You can only look at so many dirty pictures." - Simon
Noble, an Austrian-based internet bookmaker

"When we put 50 machines in, I consider
them 50 more mousetraps. You have to have a mousetrap to
catch a mouse." - Bob Stupak, former Las Vegas casino
owner

Noting his mother's visit to Las Vegas the
weekend before she died. "She got to go to heaven four
days early." - President Bill Clinton

"A lottery is a salutary instrument and a
taxlaid on the willing only, that is to say, on those who
can risk the price of a ticket without sensible injury,
for the possibility of a higher prize." - Thomas
Jefferson

"A dollar picked up in the road is more
satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for,
and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles
into our hearts in the same way." - Mark Twain

They were burying a high-roller in Las
Vegas and a few of his gambling cronies were gathered
grave side when the minister said; "Gus is merely
sleeping." His best friend was heard muttering: "I've got
a hundred that says he's dead."

"Stop cheating!" the dealer told the card
player. "I'm not!" claimed the player.
"You must be," said the dealer. "That is not the hand that
I dealt you."

"Suckers have no business with money
anyway." - Canada Bill Jones

"Anybody can win, unless there happens to
be a second entry." - George Ade

"At that point I ought to have gone away,
but a strange sensation rose up in me, a sort of defiance
of fate, a desire to challenge it, to put out my tongue at
it. I laid down the largest stake allowe-four thousand
gulden-and lost it. Then, getting hot, I pulled out all I
had left, staked it on the same number, and lost again,
after which I walked away from the table as though I were
stunned. I could not even grasp what had happened to me."
- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Gambler

"If I had the money and the drinking
capacity, I'd probably live at a roulette table and let my
life go to hell." - Michael Ventura

"Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier
gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes
it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have
stayed." - Mark Twain

I hope to break even this week. I need the
money. - VETERAN LAS VEGAS GAMBLER

The Wampanoag Tribe has a machine, and they
say, "It's completely idiot proof." I told them they've
got it all wrong. I want a machine that is "idiot
friendly." - Former Massachusetts Governor William F.
Weld

"The subject of gambling is all
encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with
his desire to know about his fate and his future." - Franz
Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam (1975)

"Why otherwise would that dignified fellow
dressed like a banker be sitting at a machine murmuring;
"Talk to me baby, I know you understand my needs." -
Roger Fleming

"Gambling is a principle inherent in
nature." - Edmund Burke, House of Commons speech
(1780)

"If I lose today, I can look forward to
winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose
tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun." - Chico Marx

"He had the calm confidence of a Christian
with four aces." - Mark Twain

"When I played pool I was like a good
psychiatrist. I cured 'em of all their daydreams and
delusions. - Minnesota Fats

"My advice to the unborn is, don't be born
with a gambling instinct unless you have a good sense of
probabilities." Jack Dreyfus of Dreyfus Mutual Fund

"I have always wondered if the results of
the Versailles Conferences would have been different if
Woodrow Wilson had been a poker player." - Clyde Brion
Davis

In a bet there is a fool and a thief. -
Proverb

"Gambling is a principle inherent in human
nature." - Edmund Burke, in a speech before the House Of
Commons (1780)

"Casinos and prostitutes have the same
thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of
your money and send you home with a smile on you face." -
VP Pappy

"Look high, look low, and we see that
gamblers actually form the majority of the world's
inhabitants." - James Runciman, Side Lights (1893)

"They gambled in the Garden of Eden, and
they will again if there's another one." - Richard
Albert Canfield

"The roulette table pays nobody except him
that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is
common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is
unknown." - Bernard Shaw

"It can be argued that man's instinct to
gamble is the only reason he is still not a monkey up in
the trees." - Mario Puzo

"I've learned the lesson that the worst
thing that can happen to a gambler is to let his recent
losses or wins knock him off keel emotionally." -
Andrew Beyer

"Judged by the dollars spent, gambling is
now more popular in America than baseball, the movies, and
Disneyland-combined." - Timothy L. O'Brien, Bad Bet
(1998)

"One of the healthiest ways to gamble is
with a spade and a package of garden seeds." - Dan
Bennett

"A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar
earned." - Paul Newman, The Color of Money

"My last piece of advice to the degenerate
slot player who thinks he can beat the one-armed bandit
consists of four little words: "It can't be done." -
John Scarne

"When a gambler picks up a pack of cards or
a pair of dice, he feels as though he has reduced an
unmanageable world to a finite, visible and comprehensive
size." - Annabel Davis-Goff, The Literary Companion to
Gambling

"If you ain't just a little scared when you
enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't
studied the games enough." VP Pappy

"Even as I approach the gambling hall, as
soon as I hear, two rooms away, the jingle of money poured
out on the table, I almost go into convulsions." - Fyodor
Dostoevsky, The Gambler (1867)

"A number of moralists condemn lotteries
and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the
ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists
judge religion, by its excesses." - Charles Lamb,
Essays of Elia (1832)

"Guessing has never been widely acclaimed
as a good gambling strategy." - Dr. G

"No wife can endure a gambling husband
unless he is a steady winner." - Lord Dewar

Something to moan out between grinding
teeth after this political season. "Didn't I warn
you-Huh-Didn't I tell you one of 'em was going to win!??
So now, what do we do?" - Jack Norris

"Italians come to ruin most generally in
three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose
the slowest one." - Pope John XXIII

"Gaming corrupts our disposition and
teaches us a habit of hostility against all mankind." -
Thomas Jefferson. Accordingly, he kept meticulous
records of his backgammon and card winnings.

"I am now eased in my finances and
replenished in my wardrobe." - Andrew Jackson after
winning a horse race.

"I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to
find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas." - Rick
Majerus, Utah Utes college basketball coach

A problem gambler was urged by a counselor
to take the 20-question test for compulsive gambling. Upon
completing it, the subject commented; "Boy, Gamblers
Anonymous must be hard up for new members. They make
qualifying so easy."

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces. -
American Proverb

"The safest way to double your money is to
fold it over once and put it in your pocket." - Kin
Hubbard

"Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men
believe in cause and effect." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope to break even this week. I need the
money. -VETERAN LAS VEGAS GAMBLER

"Fortune knocks at every man's door once in
a lifetime, but in a good many cases the man is in a
neighboring saloon and does not hear her." - Mark Twain

"The only difference between a winner and a
loser is character." - Nick the Greek

"It is the mark of an inexperienced man not
to believe in luck." - Joseph Conrad

"We got an education when in 1992 Wolfgang
Puck opened Spago in the Forum Shops in Caesars Palace and
proved to us that people will line up to get good food." -
Steve Wynn

"But, Steve, if you bring back a $3.49
prime rib buffet, you'll have lines out the casino front
door and down Las Vegas Blvd." - Mark Pilarski

"I believe in luck. How else can you
explain the success of those you dislike?" - Jean
Cocteau

"Men are probably nearer the central truth
in their superstitions than in their science." - Henry
David Thoreau

"Son, we are sorry about the tuition
funds...your mother and I did not know you are not
supposed to split tens..." - Letters home from people
visiting Reno.

"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who
says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker." -
Amarillo Slim

"The best bet you get is an even break." -
Franklin Pierce Adams

Remember, you can beat the odds, but you can't beat the percentages.
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