Sunday, April 12, 2009

R.I.P. Rose (2004-2009)

I got a call from the school librarian yesterday at noon. She informed me that my mentor teacher's daughter, Rose, passed away in her sleep Friday night. She had special needs and was in kindergarten at the school. She did not talk and often had seizures. I saw her on Friday and she was loving life, wearing a huge smile on her face as she trotted down the hall. I couldn't believe it when the librarian gave me the bad news.

I haven't made up my mind about death. For a lot of reasons death sucks, death of a child is probably the harshest thing imaginable. Erin and I talked about it yesterday, and there are a lot of things I wouldn't think twice about doing to protect my child, including killing and giving my own life--things that I would not do for just about any other reason.

On the other hand, death is good because it breaks us out of living life with blinders on. Death is life-changing for more than the one obvious person. Death can be a boon to awareness of a cause, safety, or even just being aware how important each and every day is, and spending those days with people you care about.

This week is going to be intense at school. My placement has been a breeze so far, but now I feel like I've been tossed in the deep end. In a way, I look forward to the challenge. MT won't be there to help me, and I've got an amazingly touchy subject to deal with, something that might create strong bonds between myself and my MT, the students, parents and faculty. I have a feeling like the students will cry, and that will start me crying, which isn't something I have done for years. I'm due.