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Monday, December 22, 2008

I was talking to my friend Liz when the subject of interdependence came up. My feelings on the subject are strong enough, they surprise me when I remember them. They're certainly strong enough to share more widely. {smile}

In my experience, interdependence is absolutely terrifying if I let myself think about it. I am relying on others to support me... and sooner or later they will let me down. It's not a question of whether they'll let me down. They will. No matter how much they want to avoid doing so, they will sooner or later. When they do, I will get hurt. All I can do then is trust in my own ability to heal... if not perfectly, then well enough to carry on. {smile}

{pause}

It's worth it. I can't doubt that. I tried independence when I was younger... boy, that was a bleak and empty time! {rueful smile}

Interdependence may be scary and painful, but it fills my life with the family members and dear friends who make life worth living. Yes, there's pain and fear this way, but there's also joy and love in measures independence could never, ever provide. {WARM SMILE, BIG WARM SMILE}

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Sorry to fall quiet again just when I wanted to do better. {worn smile}

I didn't mention one problem in my last post. I didn't think it was big enough. Dad was on his third day of some quite itchy hives. However, he'd stopped the lettuce that he suspects was chopped by the same equipment that chops spinach. (Yes, he's that allergic to spinach!) Plus he was seeing the doctor in a couple of days about them. So he didn't anticipate much more trouble from them.

He had a lot more trouble anyway. He and his doctor must have tried half a dozen antihistamines on the things. The hives finally faded late last week. {SIGH} The doctor suspects spinach juice in the lettuce too. Apparently once hives get going, they can perpetuate themselves for up to a year. Three weeks... is more than bad enough. {sigh}

At least he seems to be over them now. Also, he doesn't need the elastic bandage on his knee anymore. A taped-on pad is good enough now. {Smile} So Dad's feeling better, tho he's frustrated with how quickly he tires.

I'm feeling much relieved, myself. It's taking a while for life to get back to normal, but it's gradually getting there. {Smile}