Now, as an adult, Chloe enjoys the excitement of downhill skiing and the possibility she might fall and suffer serious leg fractures.

"I ski extremely fast, and aim for the most dangerous runs," she said.

"Doing any activity that brings a chance of me becoming paraplegic gives me a sense of relief from the anxiety caused by the BIID."

In 2006, Chloe had a skiing accident, which left her with a minor back injury and a reason to get leg braces.

While researching the braces online, Chloe read about BIID for the first time and found out there were others like her.

"It was a huge relief," said Chloe. "I wasn't a freak - there were hundreds of others like me."

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Chloe-Jennings White And Her Body Integrity Identity Disorder

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Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe-Jennings White wears leg braces and uses a wheelchair, even though her legs work fine, and she does not need them. The 58-year-old has chosen to live her life as a disabled person, due to rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder, or BIID. BIID is thought to be caused by a neurological failing, which causes the brain not to recognise a limb or limbs. Chloe, a research scientist, bandaged herself secretly for years, but now she lives openly with her condition, using a wheelchair most of time, apart from when she wants to enjoy her hobbies such as hill-walking and skiing. Chloe admits she skis because she hopes to have an accident to damage both her legs. She sometimes even dreams about having a car crash. Now Chloe, who lives in Salt Lake City, Utah, but is originally from London, is also trying to find a surgeon willing to sever her spine in order to make her paralysed for real. (Credit: Laurentiu Garofeanu / Barcroft USA)

Chloe admits she sometimes fantasises about ways of having a car crash so that she can damage her legs, without hurting anyone else.

"Any time when I'm driving I sort of conjure up accident scenarios in my mind where I will become paraplegic," she admitted.

In 2009 she was involved in a serious 75mph car crash and suffered pre-concussion amnesia so cannot remember the 15 minutes before the impact.

Police reports seem to show it was not a deliberate act, but Chloe sometimes worries she might have subconsciously wanted it to happen.

In 2010, Chloe found a doctor overseas who would be willing to help her become disabled by cutting her sciatic and femoral nerves, but she could not afford the $25,000 costs.

"I might never be able to afford it, but I know, truly and deeply, I won't regret it if I ever can," she said.

"Something in my brain tells me my legs are not supposed to work. Having any sensation in them just feels wrong."

Chloe writes for the BIID support group www.transabled.org and believes it is important to raise awareness about the condition.

Psychiatriast Dr Mark Malan, who treats Chloe, said: "The question I often ask is, is it better to have somebody pretending to use a wheelchair, or to commit suicide?

"One possibility could be to do some sort of nerve blocking so that that limb could not actually be used for a period of time, to let the patient test the reality of being physically disabled temporarily.

"It would give BIID sufferers a chance to change their minds if they wanted to."