My first traumatic phase started when I was 18 years old. I met a guy on social media about 5 years back. It was sheer coincidence that he turned out to be my neighbour. He is with the Indian Air Force. He is a Rajput and I am an Assamese woman. We belong to different communities. Our conversations became serious. He was posted in Srinagar so we could meet each other quite often. We decided to meet each other again when he came home.

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I was a young soul and my love for him was pure. I was still a teenager and I loved him a lot. Everything was fine between us at that time.

He would often talk to me about his ex-girlfriend. I would listen to him when he talked about her with a heavy heart but I did not take his relationship with her seriously. Several months passed this way. I then asked him to discuss our relationship with his parents. His family was looking out for a suitable match for him. When he discussed our relationship with his parents, his father rejected me because I belonged to a different community.

I was heartbroken so I decided to talk to his father. I called him but he refused to talk to me.

But life obviously had other plans for me. I was still doing my first year of medicine. Things between us were really smooth sailing now. He did not always take my calls and ignored my messages but I was used to this by now.

I would often wait for his calls and messages until 3 a.m. but I did not mind doing this because I considered him to be my husband.

We had been sharing a physical relationship for the past four years. After his father decided to fix our wedding date I realized that I was pregnant.

I now saw his true colours. He started avoiding me. I knew that he was deliberately not taking my calls. I then got the news that he was engaged to a girl that his parents had chosen for him. His father had lied to us about getting us married.

Even when I heard such things about him from other people, I continued to trust him. He insisted that I go in for an abortion. He said he would commit suicide if I didn’t do so. I was so blindly in love with him that I aborted my baby.

But I developed complications after that. I was suffering from a septic infection but he did not even bother to meet me. I then started suffering from jaundice. So I went home with a broken heart and told my mother about all that they had been doing to us. My mother complained to the police and told them that they had cheated us. She was really broken-hearted when she saw my condition.

I am a really very beautiful girl but at that time I had lost a lot of weight. My eyes had turned yellow and there were dark circles under them.

I then got a call from him after a long time. He said, “I am sorry but maine shaadi kar li hai. Tumhari mummy mere upar case karegi. So please help me.” I just fainted when I heard his words. I cried all through the night. I could not talk to anyone for a long while. But my parents and one of my friends stood by me and helped me out through this difficult phase. I even tried to kill myself at this time.

But his behaviour changed drastically. He now behaved rudely with me and called me a harlot and a characterless person. I put up with all his rudeness because I thought I deserved it. I had broken a basic rule of our society. But then even this guy finally left me. He said he could not be with me any longer because he now knew of my past. I am heartbroken now but I am OK with it. I realized that this guy was a completely emotionless person.

There was no need for him to abuse me. He could have just left me. But I guess I just have to live with such things.

I don’t know what else life has in store for me. I just hope that someday sometime I too find my share of happiness.

Editor's Note:

Let’s share this story because only when we share our experiences and emotions with others do we realize that life is tough for all of us. We do emerge as stronger human beings when we face such grave ordeals. But we all have to find our own ways and means of dealing with the ups and downs of our lives. We can choose to be either a victim or a victor. The choice is ours. Always. So let’s learn to be winners.