30yr Old, Mother to One and Tired of the Pain - Sacramento, CA

Hi all! I just wanted to say thank you for being...

27 Aug 2014

Hi all! I just wanted to say thank you for being on this group. Because of you I have finally made the phone call and have my first apt with plastic surgery tomorrow regarding explantation. I am neverous and somewhat embarrassed. I have a toddler and am wondering how long was recovery? Any words of advice?

Update

28 Aug 2014

Thanks! Sorry I couldn't post longer as I ran out of room on the initial one. I have had them for 4.5 yrs, silicone and i see the muscle. I had my consult today through Kaiser Hospital as they will be covered under my medical plan. I had a little pain after I had them placed and the Dr stated he probably hit a nerve. The pain had been off and on over the years however after having my daughter and attempting to breast feed I've noticed a constant pain. She is almost 2 and in the last 6-8 months the pain is constant and at times takes my breath away (only in the right one) I mentioned it again to my OB and he suggested I have them removed. I have been extremely embarrassed by this and haven't told many people, outside of my husband and best friend, about this. I feel like I'm living a secret life in a way. Anyway after my OB recommended I remove them I found this website and it has brought me so much relief! I was so relieved to find out I wasn't the only one who paid a ton of money for implants and was removing them. I can honestly say if it wasn't for this website I would probably continue to live in pain and keep it secret.

Ok so my apt was this morning. The dr was amazing and actually turns out that he knew my plastic surgeon (back in Nebraska) as he worked with him during his residency (small world!) anyway I was so amazed that he didn't suggest a lift or new implants because I've seen on here dr's recommending it! He took measurements and he believes my right one (the one with pain) has never settled into the pocket. He also said that he believes I have a few pinched nerves. He said that while he can't guarantee the pain will go away most women says it does. He said it appears I have enlighten soft tissue to where it should heal nicely. So the ball is in my court. I just have to tell him I'm ready and they will schedule my explantation. I'm so scared for multiple reasons one being it is surgery after all. Plus how will I look, will I hate them and be depressed, etc. I just have to get past my embarrassment and scared and just book it. We don't have family around so we will have to fly in a grandma to help take care of the almost 2yr old. Anyone have advice on how long I should have someone out here to help?

Thank you again for all your encouragement. I'm still so nervous and just need to pull the trigger. My dr recommended it in June and it took me 2 months just to call my insurance to see if they would cover it. I'm hoping to make this decision soon as I'm tired of the constant pain (even the shower hurts at times) but like I said mentally its a hard decision you all know that :) thanks for supporting me!

Correction

28 Aug 2014

**under the muscle**

Surgery date!

3 Sep 2014

Hi all! I've done it I set my surgery date today! To my surprise its much sooner than I anticipated! Its Sept 29...26 days away! It was either sept 29 or sometime in Nov. I'm over the pain and ready to be done and start healing!

My daughter's 2nd birthday is Sept 28 so I know we will have a fun family day the day before which is just what I will need to keep my mind off of the surgery.

My next dr apt is Sept 17. Anything I need to know? Need to ask the dr? Also, it looks like I will have my MIL here for the first week but nobody the 2nd week. My daughter is Bly 22lbs and pretty self sufficient minus nap time (getting in and out of the crib) how long did it take y'all to "fully" heal? I plan on having different gf's and their kid come over the 2nd week to play with her so I can lay on the couch.

I received the list of items to buy. TY I know after I had my implants placed I got a zip up sportsbra from Walmart does it really matter the brand? I don't want to spend too much but also want to make sure I'm doing things right the first time (unlike when I had the implants placed)

Thanks again for all your support and encouragement! Prior to this site I didn't even know ppl removed them and I'm so thankful I'm not alone!

Question

3 Sep 2014

I also am pretty sure I will have tubes placed. Anything I need to know about that? Eeek I'm nervous and excited! I just want as much info as possible thanks again!

Consultation

17 Sep 2014

Hi all! Thanks again for the support. My last consultation before surgery is today. What kind of questions did you all ask? I feel so unprepared. Surgery is in 12 days! Eeek! I've been having nightmares and am terrified to be put under :(

Second guessing

20 Sep 2014

Tonight I got out old pre BA pictures to show my husband. I thought I looked good with clothes on but I was also 17lbs lighter. I happened to have a picture of me pre BA with no shirt and I realized I had NO boobs.

My husband keeps saying he loves me for me and I trust that but I'm so nervous that I'm going to be depressed with itty bitty boobies.

I like the way I look now but I also know they need to come out for medical reasons. Everyday when my daughter climbs on me or I'm holding her and my boob is painful I remind myself they are coming out soon.

My question is did any of you struggle with the look of your new breasts? I'm really concerned I won't want to see myself naked let alone let my husband. I've struggled with depression in the past and don't want this to trigger it for me. I'm seriously stressing. I wish I wouldn't have looked at my old pictures and seen how I didn't have anything.

Any advice? I really don't even want to look after. Did you feel this way and when did it pass? Explant is in one week and one day. Thanks for all the virtual love its much needed and appreciated.

5 more days!!!!

24 Sep 2014

5 more days until explant. I've been off and on about how I feel. The last few days I've spent way too much time on here stalking all the stories and pictures and for the first time I am beyond excited for my explant. You all look wonderful and sound so happy with your decision. I'm a little worried that my nipples will be touching my belly button after but I really don't care as long as I'm pain free (fingers crossed).

Since my explant was deemed "medically necessary" (side note but I thought my OBGYN had lost his mind a few months ago when he told me I should explant. I was thinking no way are you crazy nobody does that but I came home and starting googling and found you all :) and realized a lot of women explant for various reasons) ok back to topic. Since my explant is through my medical insurance I had to go have lab tests done yesterday which starting making the whole thing so real and got me excited.

A little about me (since I was too shy/scared/embarrassed to share in my last few posts) I got my implants when I was 2 months shy of 26. (4.5yrs ago) I have remembered always wanting boobs but after I got a divorce (my husband cheated on me and is now married to that girl) I thought how will I ever find someone else without boobs (dumb dumb thought) anyway I remember back then ALL my guy friends and even random ones that I would ask at the bar all said do NOT gets boobs. Of course I thought they were crazy and just telling me that so I went ahead with the BA ($5,500)

I got silicone implants under the muscle. 300cc in my left and 350cc in my right. I had just completed a half marathon and was fit and very thin (107...I'm now 127) I immediately had pain in my right breast. The PS said "I probably hit a nerve sorry there's nothing I can do it will go away with time)

Over the years the painwas always there but it wasn't a big deal. Fast forward and I delivered my daughter sept 2012 I attempted BF but my right one hurt terribly so I wound up pumping for 9 months (totally painful but I dealt with it) I saw my OB a few times about the pain and he suggested I stop pumping. I did and seemed ok. Well in the past 7-8 months I have noticed the worst pain imaginable. If anything touches it (bra, shower, my husband, daughter, etc) I am in horrible pain. After my dr suggested removing them and I found this site I decided why not. Why would I want to be in pain on a daily basis. I also have a daughter and I want her to love the body she was blessed with and I can't explain that when I have something fake. So out they come!

I found a pre BA pic the other night and showed my husband I was so depressed he kept saying you look beautiful and who care how your boobs look after the only person seeing them is me and I don't care lol

We are debating baby #2 but I knew I needed these suckers out before we have another. I'm hoping I heal fast, beautiful and out of pain!

Thanks for your support and thank you for all your stories

72hrs until explant :)

26 Sep 2014

In exactly (well almost) I will be having my explant! Yippie! I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your stories and support. Without you I would not be doing this (honest truth. I thought my dr had lost his mind for suggesting explant I figured nobody did that. Then I found you all and realized I wouldn't be alone) so thank you thank you thank you!!!

Today I got the call from the surgery center. I have to report at 11am with a 12:30 surgery. They also suggested a button up shirt. I just happen to be at the store so I bought new comfy yoga pants, 2 front snap sports bras (they were tight buttoning but not too tight so I may have to get the smaller size), 2 comfy tshirts and a button up shirt. I wasn't able to find the Velcro rib belt. I have 5 more meals to plan today and tomorrow and then I am ready!

Our daughter's 2nd birthday is on Sunday and we are picking up my mother in law from the airport as well so I honestly don't think I will stress much about the surgery.

I feel like I've already done my stressing and worrying and with all your nice kind words and support I'm over that and looking forward to the new old me lol

Thanks again and I will try to post on Monday. I'm having a general at 12:30 they expect me to leave around 3. If I can't post Monday I will be sure to on Tuesday! Thanks again! You all are my angels. I couldn't be more grateful for all of you and I'm so happy for this website!

Explanted

30 Sep 2014

Hi all I doubt I will get my whole story in but its 3:15am and I can't sleep so I figured I would give an update.

My surgery was scheduled for 12:30pm yesterday which meant no eating or drinking anything after midnight as you can imagine I was thirsty! Well I was doing this at the hospital since insurance was covering it and they were backed up. I got there at my requested time of 11 and didn't get in to surgery until 2:45. Luckily I had my husband and an awesome Preop nurse but boy was I bored. So take a book just in case because I didn't!

My mother in law flew in yesterday to help out with our daughter Sunday night and I am sooo happy! I was excited and fine about surgery up until my MIL left for the park with my LO around 9:30am I had a meltdown. Even typing it makes me get tears in my eyes. It was so incredibly hard to say bye to my baby knowing that the next few weeks I won't be able to be her human jungle gym. She is a HUGE mommas girl (I'm a stay at home mom) and my heart aches knowing that she won't understand why mommy can't pick her up, hug her, etc. so I came upstairs to shower before surgery and my husband held me tight told me everything is going to be ok. I was angry at myself for ever getting the implants and at one point I said look at me its the last time I will have boobs. He had nothing but the sweetest most perfect moments to say in that moment. He also told me I am a very beautiful woman and I don't need boobs. Or something like that.

Ok so fast forward, we get there at 11 and wait in the waiting room if you have to pee ladies make sure to ask if they need a pee sample because I didn't know this and relieved myself only to be asked to pee in a cup 30min later when the nurse called me back. Well that's a little difficult when you haven't drank water in 12hrs!

I got all checked in and ready. I may have c
She's a few more tears it not many I was surprisingly ready and excited. My dr came in around 12:15 and marked me up I was smiling from ear to ear until of course I was told it would be awhile ugh. He explained to me again what he was doing (going in through my previous scars and cleaning me out and doing a possible capsuelotomy. He said you more than likely won't need drains but there's always that chance Yada Yada ya)

Ok enough about the small details so they finally came to get me and gave me a yummy cocktail lol (they said it would be the best one I've ever had lol) it was Valium I believe into my IV about 2 min later they wheeled me into the OR. There the dr gathered everyone around for a pregnant talk while I breath in the wonder sleeping gas (I had a general)

I woke up and was released and in the car by 4:30pm. They have me a nauseau patch behind my ear because "unfortunately you are young, healthy and having breast work done all which go against you in this case and can make you sick"

I woke up in recovery with such a dry mouth I couldn't talk I requested water (ice chips is what I got) the post op nurse said its from the patch I said take it off then! So off it came.

Well ladies I read on here and was told by my dr that Removal is easier and for me it is NOT! I ended up with 2 drains and am in horrific pain! I feel like I prepared myself best I could but I didn't prepare for the drains only because my dr kept saying it was very unlikely and I have 2! This has made me a little sad because I know I can't see my baby girl until they are out as she will want to be near me and there's that chance she will rip them out. She turned 2 Sunday and doesn't understand.
I also don't feel "immediate" relief of the pain I had but obviously going to give that time.

Right now I could use A LOT of positive energy and thoughts from you all! I couldn't do it without your support and also my husbands and mother in laws.

Oh I'm currently set to go back Monday but I'm going to call tomorrow because that apt was before drains. How long did you all have yours? I'm praying I can get in Friday to get them out!

I will keep you posted on my recovery hopefully its better news than this post because I'm not going to lie I'm in a crap ton of pain and I can handle pain!

After my implants were out in I was up and playing ball that afternoon with my dogs that afternoon so its hard for me to adjust to this!

Day 1 post op

30 Sep 2014

Hi ladies! Well its been almost 24hrs since I went into the OR. I have a little pressure but I am not a big fan of medicine so I am only taking half a pill.

Other than the pressure I feel great! My mind and body anyway. I have 2 drains and my left one is producing a lot of blood which seemed "stuck" in the tube my husband and I called in and they wanted to see me. Turns out everything is fine and even though I had to pay $25 it was worth it for sense of mine but most importantly I got to take a sneak peek of my new implant free boobs :) so that in itself was worth the money hehe the nurse also realized that I don't have enough antibiotics to get me through with drains. Considering my dr didn't think I would need drains he only have me 12 pills (4x a day) but you are aupposed to take them until your drains are out so I have 12 more.

On to the reveal. The nurse cut off the bandage and she said wow you had an awesome outcome I look over and see my husband smiling ear to ear he said you look great! Phew that was so nice to hear so as soon as the nurse left I had my hubby snap a quick picture and then I got up to take a look and he said again how much he liked them and I believe he was sincere. I'm sooo happy to have those toxic bags out now to just heal fast so I can get on with life!

I posted a pic below don't mind my left nipple the poor thing was stuck upwards on the bandage so it looks strange. Thanks again for the support.

I'm supposed to call in Thursday with my drain #'s to see if I can get them out otherwise I have to wait until Monday :/

Day 3 post op not going well

2 Oct 2014

Hi all today is my 3rd day since explant and I'm starting to get down. Its been a not so good day. My drains are itching like crazy, I feel sick, every time I close my eyes the room is spinning and I can't sleep. My right drain had noting yesterday and I was so excited to get it out today then I must have overdone it last night and overnight because its draining again and the dr said they are staying in. My apt is set for Monday. I keep reminding myself that they are getting all the bad stuff out but I'm over them. They itch and are in my way!

Its just been a bad day. The worst so far. Any tips? I finally got to see my daughter last night and she's terrified of me and won't come near me (the drains scare her) if I have them covered up it takes her anxiety away a little poor girl. All was going well until today and I feel like I've hit a road block and just want to cry. Its so hard for me to sit around and do nothing! I can't text, email, read a book etc without hurting (that includes this message) and tv is boring. I'm starting to loose my mind! I put ice on a little but ago and that seemed to bring me some relief any other tips?

Day 5 post op

4 Oct 2014

So here Iay day 5 and still no change. I'm trying to stay positive but at times I find it hard. Reading all your comments definitely help. I also keep looking at my picture that was taken 21hrs after surgery and that definitely helps because I love them.

I'm set to go in in Monday to hopefully have my drains removed but I'm not optimistic that they will be coming out as I'm still having output and the left one is still blood. I've been sitting around relaxing hoping to get them out so we will see.

I find myself crying a lot but more so because I'm tired of laying around. My husband did I was the lucky 1% who find the explant MORE difficult than the implant.

I was very mentally prepared for the explant but I didn't prepare for the drains and the pain to be worse than the implant so prepare yourself for that and then if you are like most and find it easier then you will be beyond prepared and on to a quick recovery :)

I took a Tylenol this morning as I'm going to try to get off the pain pills. Oh total TMI but the other thing making me miserable is that I haven't gone to the bathroom since surgery I've taken almost everything you can imagine. Apparently the pain pills can cause this I think its causing my tummy to feel sick. So hopefully (positive thinking) if I can go then I will overall feel better. Ugh!

Day 8 explant free

7 Oct 2014

Hi all! So here I sit on day 8 and while I'm still on "bed rest" I must say I have more energy than I know what to do with. Maybe its because I've sat around for 8 days or maybe its because the toxic bags are out I'm going with the latter of the two :)

I got my right drain out yesterday but still have the left one in. My next apt is Friday and I'm hoping and praying the left drain will come out.

My dr said that my activity level is to remain at a very minimum. Apparently after the drain is removed its the most crucial time to relax which means for me I have to do that twice. Not easy for an active person. I'm going crazy! But like my husband said lets do it right the first time so we don't have any problems in the future.

So here I sit for another week. But I still must say its worth it! I feel lighter and no longer feel pain. Oh and I love my new boobies. Here's a picture taken yesterday (one week post op) I need some fluffing on the top but overall I'm happy with them.

Oh I can wear a sportsbra and compression now! Happy and Holistic recommended a mens large rib belt and its amazing! I found one off amazon for $12.95 and it included shipping! Its a lot easier than using the wrap the PS gives you.

Drains are out :)

10 Oct 2014

Today marks day 11 days post op. I saw my dr today for the first time since surgery. He took my left drain out and said had he seen me Monday he would have removed it then (ugh) he's been very busy in surgery so I saw the nurse. Oh well probably best that it stayed in as it caused me to do less than normal :)

Compression is off starting tomorrow and then sports bra for 2 more weeks. I asked him about my incision as they are "raised" it freaked me out! He said that this type of incision is the best way to stitch up in plastic surgery and is very common because it provides the least amount of scaring. He stated that it takes longer to heal but it will eventually fade out and heal very nice. I will try to snap a pic if I can.

On the way home from the apt my husband asked how I felt about doing it and if I was glad I did. I said I was extremely happy that I followed through. I have a ton of energy and feel great. I still don't know if I have pain (since I haven't done normal activities) but said that I am beyond happy that I am ME again and all real! Something about knowing that you have nothing unnatural in your body just feels amazing!

I will continue to post pics throughout recovery. Once again THANK YOU to all you wonderful ladies who helped me make this decision I feel AMAZING and I couldn't have done it without your support. I love this group.

Please tell me I'm not the only one when they get the overall emails about women deciding to get implants that wants to say NOOO!!! Don't do it lol I always feel silly anyway thanks aign and I feel great!

Oh last thing I want to say my boobs fit my frame so much better even with just a sportsbra on I feel like I look skinner in clothes :)

2 weeks post op!

14 Oct 2014

Hi all I just wanted to update you and let you know I feel AMAZING!!! I absolutely LOVE the way I look with my small natural boobs! I feel like I look thinner and in all my old shirts I do! They no longer stick out. Its amazing how I feel like I look better without boobs when I got them to "look better" ha who knew?!?! Oh and my MIL has told me numerous times she's concerned because I've lost weight haha jokes on her :)

BEST decision ever I just wish I did it sooner. Dr said 3-6 months before we start trying for baby #2 :) happy explanting to all of you! I will post updated pics today.

Photos of incision

14 Oct 2014

2 weeks 2 days post op

15 Oct 2014

2 weeks and 2 days post op. I feel great! I have a ton of energy and honestly I keep forgetting I'm only 2 weeks post op. I have to keep reminding myself I shouldn't lift that ie jogging stroller, my daughter (off of small things), etc. I attempted to vacuum and that did hurt a little (darn my husband has to take that up hehe) my point is while I had drains and laid around going crazy it was well worth it because I feel great!

Have I mentioned I love my new boobs :) so I went to find a sports bra today that is more like a real bra so it doesn't show in my clothes. I ask the lady to measure me...she said 34C but maybe a D (since I had a sportsbra on. I laughed and told her there is no way! I seriously think she's wrong my boobs are pretty small but I can't wait to go regular bra shopping and see what I wind up with. In all honesty its just a number and I really don't care. They could say "A" and I'd be happy because I LOVE MY real boobs sooo much! Not much for me to grab and touch but they do feel squishy ;)

Happy explanting!

Pics

15 Oct 2014

PS I think the pics make them look bigger than they really are :)

Sports bra

18 Oct 2014

I found a sports bra that is "shaped" like a regular bra (straps and back) that can be worn under clothes without ppl seeing it like most sportsbras so I wanted to share. I was getting frustrated because I have to wear a sports bra for 2 more weeks and I'm feeling great enough to where I didn't want ppl to know I'm in a sports bra and it was showing by my neck. I bought this one from the Jockey store at the outlets. It is originally $34, however, they have "the older model" (which by he way is identical) on clearance for 50% off so I paid $17. There is a 100% satisfaction guarantee on it no time limit. I love it! It has removable padding too so my boobs look bigger hehe anyway I just wanted to share. Happy explanting and healing to you all!