A personal account of motivations, sharing my journey to a goal - to express my passion for ‘grass roots’ football in its many forms / document the ‘untold stories’ of many of the ‘Park Footballers’ I have played with for 30 years / to combine my love of portraits, archiving ‘hidden histories’ of a unique ‘city by the sea’ called Brighton & Hove / then celebrate how this game has enhanced our lives – honouring the ‘Corinthian Spirit’ in the form of a published book.

Friday, 12 February 2016

But I was in
a different head-space then – my children were 10 years younger and I was more focused
upon survival. Community Development work is not a get rich quick scheme, yet
this activity was something that my heart and soul was happy and at home with –
sometimes you just have to accept your vocation.

I remember the moment it dawned upon me that I should see
this idea through to the end - success and failure didn't matter, this is what
happened to me:

I was standing, waiting in the middle of a rainy windswept
grassy field, bending double with cold snap of winter turning my shins into
goose bumps, trying to get my new football boots on without letting my feet
touch damp icy ground, as Graham pulled up on his bike.

We could see 4 other players trudging over in the distance ‘looks
like we've got at least 3-a-side!’

He noticed that I noticed that he was trying to change into his
boots without his toes touching the ground and we broke into a kind of laugh
that is fixed on faces because of driving rain, ‘Look at us. We must be crazy!’
he said

… ‘Yeah…’ I replied gasping into the wind ‘we must look
really stupid!’

‘Yeah Graham. I can’t help it. I just love it! I heard it
raining last night so I thought “let’s rest today” but I woke up and I knew the
ground would be soft – I get these feelings in my legs. There was nothing going
to stop me playing today…’

His two son’s joined us; reporting that we could get 7 a
side when their friends arrived – they had all just finished a game that
morning but were afflicted with the same ‘football gene’ Graham had passed to
them via Man U – they still had those ‘feelings in their legs’ too, with similar
knobbly knees like his, and I slowly realised that I had witnessed them grow up,
from gangly teenagers, then right up through Uni, now fully matured into
working class men with hand dog stubble – I’d seen this by increments, almost exact
in regular 2 weekly intervals, for years and over seasons; acknowledging that
not long from now, on a day like this, they might be bringing their own
children here to play, with similar yet littler knobbly knees …

It was not an epiphany. Sometimes I catch myself gasping
with joy on a beautiful sunset. No, it wasn't like that – I was not emotional;
it was recognition, like seeing a crocus in January. It was a sign, a ‘calling’
to honour this cycle of life experiences that was evolving before my eyes like
chapters.

Some other students joined us, younger men, some with really
good close control, others with a mean turn of pace, a nice mix of ball skills,
enough for a worthwhile challenge.

Enough for us all to convert to the full size pitch. The sun
broke through and briefly we could see far enough ahead for long passes. We
could feel its heat soften the grass, turning our sweat into vapour trails and Preston
Park became a theatre of dreams.

I had a peach of a game. Some of my touches amazed me
because my thoughts were somewhere else. By the time I pulled my bike up the
path to my home door – I had decided.

Well let’s be honest – I didn't know exactly what I had decided. All
I knew is that I was going to devote myself to the purpose I have outlined to
you; dedicating my creativity, collaborative talents, practical skills and experience to
the task.

About Me

I am a qualified Art Therapist, with 20 years experience community working, building holistic skills by working in Youth Offending, Adult Mental Health, Anti Domestic violence strategies, Men & Fathers development (ABandofBrothers Mentor for 4 years), family support and multi-agency trainer for statutory as well as voluntary agencies.

Also, an established artist regularly exhibiting in London and across east Sussex.