Wednesday, September 4, 2013

No Time

Do you have things that you want to do but you know you don’t have time? I have two such things: I want to learn Spanish and I want to learn how to sew.

The reason for wanting to learn Spanish is less frivolous than the reason for wanting to learn how to sew: my kids speak/understand Spanish. I don’t think I can handle them having a “secret” language that I can’t understand as they grow older. God knows I already have a hard enough time understanding how their little brains work – I don’t need to be completely in the dark when they converse with their friends. I’m sure they’ll have many secrets through the coming years and make much clandestine mischief, but I do not want to give them an edge by making it possible for them to converse right in front of me in a language I don’t know.

I want to learn how to sew so that I can make cool Halloween costumes.

Okay, and also I have this dress that I bought and that shrunk up a little in the wash and is now scandalously short and I’d really like to sew some lace trim or something along the hem to lengthen it. But mostly the Halloween thing.

I’ll tell you when there is spare time in my day to learn these things: at 9:30 pm, when the boys are finally asleep and the dishes are done and I am too exhausted to do any more housework. That’s my “me” time, the time I spend curled on the couch with a book and a glass of wine or during which I watch Netflix with Tony. I would be willing to take a Spanish or sewing class at this time, but it would have to be in my pajamas and with wine and when I’m tired at 10:30? I’m going to bed.

An alternate wish to “more time in the day” is the “fairy Godmother” wish. I already outsource much of my housecleaning, but if I had someone to just fold the laundry or make all the meals and do all the dishes for me, then maybe I could add one more thing to the calendar.

Here is, perhaps, a better alternative: lower my standards. I cook every meal in our house (well, except for cereal at breakfast, that’s not cooking). I make dinner every night. We don’t eat out for several reasons: no time; it’s expensive; my children are monsters. But maybe we could get takeout (Papa Murphy’s on Tuesdays for only $10 – but, oh, I am tired of pizza) sometimes or I could whip up a bunch of freezer meals on Sunday and then we could eat those once a week. I could be more slovenly and work out less. My boot camp classes are moving to 6 pm which will be an awkward time for all of us anyway. I won’t get to eat dinner with my family on Wednesdays, and I feel like being gone in the evening for another class would be taking too much from them, so in order to take a Spanish or sewing class, I would likely have to let fitness go.

I’ve fairly painted myself into a corner here, hmm? I am the overscheduled, overtired, overbusy modern woman. Solutions? I have none. That dress will hang unworn in my closet until doomsday.