From nothing to self sufficient

Death becomes her

Tomorrow I am missing 2 funeral services. One is for a woman I used to volunteer for. She was the director of a wildlife center here where I used to volunteer. She was a really amazing woman and someone I really enjoyed working with. The second is a brother of two good friends of mine. He was very young and his family are very amazing people that I really love and admire. Even though I didn’t know him I went to the viewing today to support my friends and their family. Death is a very strange thing to me. I don’t deal with death the same way other people do, if you haven’t noticed yet.

Being at the viewing made me think about my own mortality. Not in terms of what will happen to my soul or my actual death itself, but what will happen afterwards. I used to be really afraid of death, like to the point where I couldn’t sleep at night because I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up. I think I finally came to the realization that life has a 100% mortality rate and so I separated myself from the thought of death. It’s going to happen someday, I can’t spend my life waiting for it.

So back to today, I find traditional funerals very odd. First there is the viewing: there is this casket where people can go and look at your dead body, maybe even touch it (totally gross), while people stand around all morose about you being dead. Then there is the funeral where people talk about you and watch you being buried. It’s all very weird to me.

I know that most of my friends and family will think that our after death body plans very odd, but C and I are both having natural burials. When we die our bodies will be transported to the nearest natural burial site (which at the moment is in Ohio) where we will be buried straight in the ground. No coffin, no embalming. I want my body to decompose and create new life within the earth. I don/t expect anybody to be there, except maybe close family. A memorial service will be held close to our home and I totally expect wine to be served and bluegrass music to be played, or at least a banjo….with possibly a special request from me for some Dueling Banjos (just kidding…or am i?). I want people to talk about the funny stories of me, the awesome things I did, and their fondest memories of me. No visitation, no funeral, no touching me after i’m dead. none of that. I realize peoples memories of me will fade and that’s ok, i expect it to, but at least i’m able to sleep at night now.