I am finding it very difficult. Today I went to my favorite place in nature to eat my lunch and enjoy the beautiful weather. Within minutes I was trying to think up workshops, classes or business ideas that could utilize that sacred place, my sanctuary, my favorite place on earth.

That wasn't a one-time occurrence. I do it constantly. I am always looking at everything, every situation, person, landscape, building, community, etc. with an eye for "How can I add this to my business?" or "Maybe this is what I am supposed to be doing.", "How can I turn it into a career that pays my bills?" I have a tough time just being in the moment. Enjoying what lights me up without wanting to share it on social media and then turn it into my next big business idea.

When I noticed this about myself I was, and still am, shocked and little chagrined. When did I develop this habit of wanting to share every single moment, idea, and experience on the internet ethers? When did I become completely invested in looking outside myself for approval? When did I stop listening to my own intuition, my own inner knowing? I have been running away from Accounting and my "old" self so hard, and for so long, I throw myself at whatever looks even remotely good to me, whatever might be the "thing" I can build a business on so I never have to return to Accounting again. This behavior started with Health Coaching, and to be clear; I loved the Health Coach Training and everything I learned from that program. I did not, however, love the actual coaching part. After I gave up on coaching, I turned to Reiki and decided I would be a Reiki Practitioner and create a business out of that. I soon found out that I didn't enjoy the way that people gave their power for healing their bodies over to me and the energy of Reiki. It gave me the heeby-jeebies. So I stopped doing that eventually and turned to Art. I LOVED pouring myself into my artwork and still do today. However, trying to turn it into a business or career that pays me money didn't work. I don't enjoy doing commissions(Art people pay me to make for them). I want to paint my visions, what I see, and what I feel, not other people's pets, loved ones, favorite icon, etc. I also tried creating and teaching art classes, which I mostly enjoyed. But there was still an element missing, so it felt forced and it drained me completely. I felt like I was pushing and straining to get people to sign up for my classes. It was unrewarding to put so much of myself out into the world and get nothing back. I was giving my power away to invisible people. Believing I couldn't be successful unless someone showed up and signed-up. It was exhausting and drove me into a bout of depression. After a few weeks of that, I decided that I need a break. No more striving, struggling or pushing. I would spend my time doing what lights me up, what makes me feel good and NOT thinking about the next big thing or opportunity that could save me from Accounting hell.

Well, even something that sounds wholly blissful and full of peace is harder than I thought. I have to continually remind myself to stop looking for the edge, next class, or business idea everywhere I turn and stay in the moment just enjoying what the world has to offer right then and there. I have no idea what lays ahead for me; I have no direction at all. I know that I am meant to be doing something more significant than anything I have done so far. But I have no idea what that is. So I ask my Soul to speak louder so that I can hear her. Break wide-open so that I can know her. Shine brighter so that I can see her. Step Up and Step out so that we can move forward together as one and accomplish what we came here to do.

Try doing nothing, and see what comes up for you. Spend 5 minutes being still and noticing everything in the current moment. When thoughts come up, notice them, let them go and refocus your attention on the now. When your five minutes are complete take notes and answer the following questions:

Cha Cha Cha Changes in the Studio!

A couple of days ago, I cleaned up and rearranged my studio. I have realized that I do this at least once a year, sometimes twice and always at the time the season changes. It usually takes a few weeks for me to notice that I feel anxious and vaguely uncomfortable, my studio is cluttered and frantic looking, my artwork has become stunted and feels forced, and I need a change. This year that time was……….

Sugar Cravings

This is the first morning I have woken up with sugar cravings. Before my eyes were even open I was having thoughts about finding some kind of chocolate or candy in house and munching on it before coffee. Fantasies of going to the pastry section of my local grocer to get a donut, apple fritter, or big sugary muffin were floating through my groggy half awake mind.

My favorite Sugar-Free Snack!

This morning I was smart and didn't put heavy whipping cream in my coffee. I am having black coffee instead. I have also discovered that the bread I usually eat has sugar in it. This is disappointing since I was looking forward to having toast and eggs for breakfast. I guess I will have the eggs with....

I am conducting an experiment on myself. I believe that my sugar habit is getting out of hand and bordering on addictive behavior. I have seen many films and documentaries espousing the ill effects of sugar and how much health improves when it is not consumed. So I figure, it can't hurt to go 90 days without sugar. If nothing improves it certainly won't get worse and perhaps I can at least save my teeth from more cavities....

Have you ever been told in an irritated voice by one or both of your parents “Money doesn’t grow on Trees you know!” or “What, do you think money grows on trees?” or sarcastically “Let me just go to my money tree and get that for you.”?

This is a post I made on my Facebook page, Shakti Daya Kaur, I decided to post it here as a first Blog post since my last post that promised fun and interesting posts back in August of 2016. ;-)

Why Shakti Daya Kaur and what does it mean?

You may not know that my legal name is Alicia Cubbage and if you visit my website www.aliciacubbage.com not only will you find a page for Shakti Daya Kaur you will also find my artwork, which encompasses most of my website. I have recently added Card Readings under the Shakti Daya Kaur page and will be posting in my blog very soon. I have also started attending the University of Metaphysical Sciences http://metaphysicsuniversity.com/and plan to graduate with my Masters or a PHD in Spiritual Counseling or Life Coaching. Therefore, my services will be expanding as my education continues.

For anyone who is curious as to why I chose to create a new page with the name Shakti Daya Kaur instead of my legal name. Here is an explanation:

Shakti Daya Kaur is the spiritual name given to me by Nirinjan Kaur, the Director of Spiritual Names at the 3HO organization.

The meaning of the name is:The Princess/Lioness who is a powerful embodiment of divine female creativity through connecting with the compassion and grace of the infinite.

This name resonates with my soul and truly does embody what is in my heart. It is my greatest desire to help people in an impactful way. I am an artist, intuitive card reader, Reiki Master Teacher, practicing yogi and a lightworker. I am here to help you find your connection to the divine and access the infinite love and power that is inside of you.

Since I reconfigured my website with a new template; I also have a new blog to write. I will be posting actual entries very soon, but for now just know that my new blog entries will be interesting at the very least and entertaining at the very most! Stay tuned...