Today, the Associated Press surveys all the miraculously adorable things we've learned about the Obama girls' lives in the White House, and all of it is cute. All of it. Even Malia's braces are adorable. How is this possible?

Whereas Chelsea Clinton was routinely savaged as the ugliest duckling in America when she lived in the White House—despite her parents' strict privacy policies—12-year-old Malia and nine-year-old Sasha come up conversationally and vacation publicly pretty often, and it's a nonstop train to adorable. The AP reports:

"Malia's one issue for her father is saving the tigers," Mrs. Obama told an audience of young children visiting the White House. "So we talk about the tigers at least once a week and what he's doing to save the tigers." Tigers apparently are Malia's favorite creature.

Both girls play the piano. (Do you think they duet to "Heart and Soul"?) Malia plays the flute. Sasha likes to play basketball with her dad. They have their own bedrooms. Both girls play tennis. Malia had her first trip to sleep-away camp this summer. They're not allowed to watch TV on school days. Even when Barack talked about Malia's growth spurt and braces, it was adorable. Even ugly pimply puberty is adorable for these girls!

Just thinking about these children ignites the tween girl inside of me who really wants Malia to sit by me at lunch, and Sasha to tell me my hair is pretty. If Malia doesn't get seriously angsty in her teen years, the aneurysms of adorable could kill us all. [AP, image via Getty]