The OC Fair is of limited interest to me unless there's some controversy – particularly if I can create some where none need exist.

I went the first night with great hope. Saw Todd Spitzer and did my best to bait him. Nothing. Went to see Willie Nelson, hoping he'd toke up on stage. The only tokers were in the audience. Went through the products barns hoping to find some insanely priced thing to feed my disturbing ironing fetish. I was informed I have now purchased (and in some cases repurchased) every conceivable clothes-flattening gadget fair vendors have ever offered.

Sigh. I was resigned to write something positive about the fair or nothing at all.

Then I heard about Greg Kelly, owner of Kelly's Hobby Shop in Tustin. He'd built a 66-inch-tall working model of a Ferris wheel and entered it in the fair's Mechanical Models competition. Emphasis on "working" and "mechanical."

Kelly had spent 450 hours creating the wheel out of spruce, and had taken care to balance it and fit it with a motor so it would actually rotate. He'd installed 24 little seats and in each one placed a cutout photo of a real O.C. person riding the wheel. Sandra Hutchens, Buzz Aldrin, Rick Warren and ... wait... who's that guy in front of John Cappelletti? Why, it's that columnist who's always trying to make a big stink out of nothing.

Kelly's Ferris wheel won first place and two judges' awards – the best he'd done in more than 20 years of submitting models. "I have a bag of second- and third-place ribbons and honorable mentions," Kelly told me. "I'm thrilled, of course."

It seemed like another sickeningly sweet fair story – until I heard the curator of the fair exhibit had decided not to plug in the Ferris wheel and so fairgoers could not see it rotate. It was being displayed stationary.

I'm stuck on the Ferris wheel? And I'm not moving? An outrage!

Wednesday morning, Kelly and I met Fair CEO Jerome Hoban and Fair board member Stan Tkaczyk at the Fairgrounds offices. As we waited for Hoban in the board room, Tkaczyk regaled us about how he'd once had part of a nipple (his, if you're wondering) removed. Then Hoban arrived – none too soon – and handed each of us a bag of OC Fair collector pins. Then he led us to the Fairgrounds entrance. We were to help pass out the pins to the 5,000 developmentally disabled adults and children the Fair was letting in free this morning.

"Part of the deal I cut to get them to meet with us," I explained to the puzzled Kelly, whom I'd forgotten to inform about this little wrinkle. He shrugged and went with it.

We walked up to the gate, handing out souvenir pins like were White House aides handing out presidential cuff links or something. "Best part of my job," Tkaczyk said.

Our little fact-finding group finally made it to the exhibition hall about 9:30. The bright orange wheel was displayed prominently on a table in the center of the room, surrounded by its three ribbons. We ooo-ed and aahed. Kelly turned on the motor. The wheel started turning. We ooo-ed and aahed some more.

But then some of the little seats that were supposed to swivel back into place as the wheel turned suddenly stopped swiveling. A few started twisting, getting stuck in the superstructure. Kobe Bryant, who was riding in front of me, had a particularly troublesome seat and it looked like it might come off its bracket and fall into my seat. I did not want Kobe's likeness in my likeness's lap for the duration of the Fair. I would rather my likeness just be stuck at the top of the wheel where it could make friends with the likeness of someone of a gender other than Kobe's. I noted, for example, that Gwen Stefani's likeness was nearby.

Kelly fiddled with the wheel to get the seats and riders straightened out. I felt bad for Kelly, the most kindhearted of men. He'd been quite satisfied with his ribbons and now I'd dragged him into a situation where it really couldn't be argued that the Ferris wheel should be allowed to run continuously. Another hour of tweaking, I'm convinced, and Kelly would get it set properly, but I felt I'd lost whatever moral authority I had to argue the point.

So we left, and Kelly seemed pleased, and the Fair officials didn't seem too ticked off. I invited myself back for this Saturday's livestock auction, where I'm sure I'll find something else to meddle in.

Mickadeit writes Mon.-Fri. Contact him at 714-796-4994 or fmickadeit@ocregister.com

Greg Kelly of Tustin describes the mechanics of the OC-centric Ferris wheel he entered into the the mechanical model competition at the OC Fair.; FRANK MICKADEIT, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
OC Fair CEO Jerome Hoban, foreground, and board member Stan Tkaczyk pass out commerorative pins at the entrance of the Fairgrounds on Wednesday morning. The Fair opened the gates free -- and early -- to more than 5,000 developmentally disabled adults and children and their caregivers on Wednesday. FRANK MICKADEIT, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
OC Fair worker Jan Tubbiola, left, welcomes her friends from the Jordan Secondary Learning Center in Garden Grove. The Fair opened the gates free and early Wednesday to OC's developmentally disabled and their caregivers. Tubbiola works in the 4-H program at the learning center as well as at the Fairgrounds. She is the second-longest-serving Fair worker, with 45 years' experience. FRANK MICKADEIT, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
This baby miniature donkey was born Monday at the OC Fair. FRANK MICKADEIT, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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