Don Corleone Lawn Services

What’s the deal with the lawns in Guilderland? I swear, if they’re not straight out of a commercial the neighborhood association (because, lets be serious, us Guilderland folks all have one) gets their panties bunched.

In the Spring, it’s the battle of who has the nicest flowers planted. Summer, the lawn’s have got to be super green, and exactly an inch high. And now, in the Fall, it’s hilarious watching people rake every single leaf off of their lawn. Seriously, it’s like Guilderland has a secret fraternity that discusses lawn business – the lawn mafia.

The Fall holds a special place in my heart though because it makes it so damn easy to make fun of people. I go to work and see people raking, I come back and people are still raking. It’s like they never left. Ever. I can only assume that they stand there (holding their breath) until leaf by leaf falls, then sprint to pick up the singular leaf laying on the lawn for a fraction of a second. Once snatched, they look around to make sure no one saw, then shred it in a paper shredder (provided as an initiation gift into the lawn mafia) and go back to their initial post.

True, taking care of your lawn is a way of having pride in your home and blah blah blah. But, I’m just saying, I think it’ll be okay if nature takes its course for a minute.

I absolutely cannot wait for the Winter when the children of Guilderland build their snowmen and snow angels, only to watch a brutal drive-by plowing destroy their holiday spirit .08 seconds later by Don Corleone himself.

19 Responses

Good point! I wonder just how many of my tax dollars go to funding the pick up of the leaves. I have to admit – I also rake mine up but, they go into a mulch pile to feed my “Pine Bush Sand” vegetable gardens!

Goodness, girl, but you need to freaking grow up! Why would you get in a tizzy because people take care of their lawns? Can’t you think of anything to blog about other than making fun of other people for not being as careless and unthoughtful as you apparently are?

Seriously, after your last blog I thought she’s young, she’s naive, we need to give her another chance, now this!!! What exactly is your problem with people behaving like responsible adults? You may want to try it. It may be cute to act “bad” in your ’20’s and childless. Nowhere near so much in your mid-30’s, children or no children.

Always entertaining Cristina. Choose your neighborhoods carefully. In some, the owners do not do the raking themselves. I did pick up the rake at one point this fall but most of the work was done by my buddy – and he’s from the Irish mafia, not the Italian. He did make me an offer I couldn’t refuse though.

Cristina, this really made me laugh. I love my neighborhood, I think it is beautiful and I don’t want anyone to change how lovely their yard looks. However, I can see the humor in your description. I can appreciate this topic from more than one perspective. Love Warren’s comments, also!

A few years ago a man from Shaker Heights, outside of Cleveland, told me that residents there are ticketed if their windows don’t meet the town’s standard of cleanliness. He seemed pleased by this but I was horrified. , To my knowledge, my neighborhood association has never concentrated on enforcing standards of perfection in property maintenance. Instead, the concerns revolve around traffic safety, alleviating flooding problems, crime prevention and other quality of life issues. I suppose that there may be homeowners’ associations in certain developments in Guilderland that enforce rules about lawn care and property maintenance , but those not the same as neighborhood associations. Not that I have any problem at all with people raking their leaves. It’s decent exercise and the sound is pleasant.

#5 has it correct with regard to the distinction between a homeowners’ association, a creation of the subdivision era with the legal authority to make all sorts of rules about all sorts of things, many of them irrelevant and intrusive. A neighborhood association is a different animal altogether, a voluntary membership group where neighbors work together to advance ideas and work toward goals that they find they have in common. Two such associations are currently active in Guilderland, one in McKownville and one in the Guilderland Hamlet. Another is being formed in Guilderland Center. I happily belong to my local neighborhood association; I hope never to belong to a homeowners’association, despite the fact that I rake leaves every fall. It happens to bemy decision rather than someone else’s rule.

Cut Cristina some slack, people. She’s trying way too hard to go for shock value. Some “kindred spirits” may find her entertaining for that very reason. I don’t, but her little tirades are too silly to be truly offensive, so let’s file this in the “differenet strokes” folder.

I’m “LMAO”. You did it again! From sarcastic, to witty, to serious, and back to funny. I agree with you, some people live for the moment they can go out and rake, weed, fertilize, etc. I can only imagine in the winter they go through RWS (raking withdrawal syndrome). Enjoyed all the comments except #2. If you “need to grow up”, she needs to chill and take your blog for what it is, YOUR (Cristina Rodriguez-Ruiz) BLOG. According to her definition, I don’t behave as a responsible adult either, because I don’t pick up my leaves AND I too laugh at those who run after theirs. To Inm’s comment, I too was horrified when found out, after buying a house in G-Land, the neighborhood association not only regulates lawn care, (no overgrown bushes, lawn has to be kept at all times, etc.) but also the color of the house among other things. So if I ever want to change the color of my house that I PAY with MY MONEY, I need to ask permission from the association, submit a sample of the color scheme and wait for their approval/denial. Another good one for the books, Cristina

I enjoy reading your blogs. You certainly bring a different and interesting perspective to things. Don’t worry about the comments from #2 (not that I think you do anyway, why should you ?), she’s clearly angry with life and has no sense of humor. Sad. Keep those BLOGS coming.

I enjoy mowing my lawn due to the great exercise. I also enjoy raking my leaves again due to the great exercise.(upper body, or what’s left of it, aerobics) It is a pleasure to watch my neighbors take pride in their properties. Looking forward to the spring when I can plant morning glories or a patch of wild flowers. My wife and I bought a home on Lone Pine in April. The neighborhood as well as the neighbors are very nice and compliment our life-style.

OK, here we go again getting it wrong on identifying the players. #7, you are subject to the rules established by the homeowners’ association in the subdivision you live in. You don’t have a neighborhood association, a voluntary group; you have a homeowners’ association (or HOA), which is legally entitled to make the rules you find so onerous.

When you buy a home in a subdivision governed by HOA rules, the realtor (or the seller if it’s a sale-by-owner) is supposed to let you know that there is an HOA, that the HOA has rules, and to tell you what those rules are. When you purchased your Guilderland home, it is just as it would be anywhere else. Either the seller or their realtor did not disclose, or you did not pay attention. Sorry, S. Hill, but that’s what’s called a self-created hardship. If it’s a really intolerable situation for you, you know what to do. A snippy blog post from young Cristina will do zero to solve your problems, although it will give her some of the attention she craves. Whether you want to play footsiewith her or deal with your issues is up to you. Just don’t expect everyone else to be amused by the little game.

But enough of this nonsense already. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, especially to Cristina, who will have a day off tomorrow from the task of zipping through Guilderland in her car noticing every real and perceived flaw with the community.

It never ceases to amaze me, how from one blog, ppl can get so wound up. Personally, I believe it speaks to Cristina’s writing abilities. She is able to rouse emotion out of anyone. The point, I fear, that many are missing, is that this is not a juvenile attempt at attention, or a blatant dismissal of establishment, instead, it is a satire on the extreme. Clearly stated is her understanding of what a neighborhood association or homeowners association, or dare i say, neighborhood watch (yes i went there)entails. And while the semantics may have gotten lost, the point is that the responsibility and acknowledgement of their rules and regulations is understood. The “nonsense” is humor, the “tizzy” is observation. While tending to one’s lawn and home is very commendable and in some places required (which in and of itself is strange), the fact that some go overboard, and spend hour after hour, day after day, pruning and preening, painting and cleaning to take pride in a home and lawn that were most likely gorgeous to begin with is somewhat funny. Take pride in your homes and lawns, by all means enjoy doing the things you want to, and in the case of the neighborhood watch, er, homeowners association, the things you must, but remember, the beauty does not come from the perfectly manicured home and garden, it comes from the love one puts into it. So if you do it for the love, rake on, if you do it for show, re-evaluate. That, is the point, therein lies the humor.

Look, it’s frankly obvious that Christina hates Guilderland. Her posts here have done nothing but put it down. She should give it up and maybe move and blog about some other place she thinks of more fondly.

#7 & #9, you ain’t gonna get it so give it up. I can just about guarantee she’s laughing even harder at you running like puppy dogs to suck up to her than she is at me (even if she claims not to be because she knows it will keep you doing so). Her type is amused when they get men to jump through their hoops like so many trained seals. As for being angry at life, no, but since I’m not charmed by the little snot, I guess you’d read it that way. The only thing pissing me off is her attitude that blogging means you’ve got to put everyone down who isn’t acting like an immature ***hole.

Sorry, Donald. You were the voice of reason but I don’t have to take character assisinations for merely disagreeing with their little pixy.

Christina, seriously why are you blogging about Guilderland when you obviously freaking hate it or taking adult responsibility seriously so much? Don’t you have anything positive to say?

When those little kids (my grandson and his little friends included) do go outside to build snowmen and make angels, I really, really hope they don’t choose to do so at the moment you are barrelling down the highway wondering why the old fuddy-duddies slow to a crawl just because there’s a little snow and ice on the road.

#14 you need serious professional help. There are people dying in wars and of hunger, children been abused and kidnapped, homeless individuals and poverty and YOU are making a federal case about raking leafs? Lady, please seek help, if not for your own good, do it for the good of the Guilderland residents. Please look under a leaf (if you have any left)to find your sense of humor. Cristina, sorry to use YOUR BLOG to respond to this person, but she needs a reality check.

Get a grip, Ed. Donna’s over the top, but so’s Cristina. Are you trying to score points with her, or what? And please understand the reality of blogging. The Guilderland blog is certainly not Cristina’s, so please don’t call it “your blog”, and while you’re at it please remember a blog thread’s worth is judged in the number of comments it produces, so you’re not gonna get to first base with Cristina by stomping on anyone who disagrees even a little bit with her. When you do that you start sounding like a disgraced local politician.

Honestly, lawns drive me crazy. And I cannot think of a poorer use of resources than lawn maintenance. I say this as an adult who owns my home in Guilderland, happily living under the rules of a HOA. I am fine to do what I have to do to be a good neighbor and not let things get too out of hand.

But I need to say this.

It’s grass people. It’s a weed. Spending all of this time, money and energy on making a weed look good is madness. Madness.

My biggest gripe though is the air and noise pollution that comes from mowers, weed whackers, and leaf blowers. Not to mention all of the toxic chemicals being spread through the neighborhood: Fertilizers, pesticides, and such.

Ultra green, neatly trimmed, weed and leaf free lawns totally freak me out. They are so completely unnatural. I understand there are people who think it makes their house look good, but I just don’t get it.

Daniel B. does raise an important point. The lawn pesticides, herbicides and most fertilizers used by homeowners and commercial lawn care companies are toxic. They do no good to the environment and to our own health. “EPA approved” has a sad history. You can have an attractive and teeming residential flora including grasses without toxic chemicals.

Having nicely manicured lawns and blooming flowers is something I take great pride in. While I do some gardening, I leave some tasks for professionals like tree pruning and the overall maintenance of our landscape. Here’s a useful resource I’ve used for my own home — http://www.sergioslandscaping.net.

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