For the first time in history, or something, the Liberal party is running candidates. If they poll anything like I expect, it’ll be the last time, too. They seem like nice guys; shame about the evil.

At least you know where you stand with Labor. In December 2010, four Labor councillors voted in favour of the Greens-led motion for a BDS boycott of Israeli goods, services and cultural exchanges as well as ‘local businesses with links to Israel’ (translation: Jews). Less than six months later, they voted to repeal the motion when they saw which way the wind was blowing (translation: Albo and Carmel were not pleased). Their election leaflet is a fine collection of motherhood statements with no traces of policy.

Then we have a group of independents who think it’s important for Council to focus on local issues like fixing the footpaths so people can walk from place to place without tripping over. Hear hear. But they’re also engaging in some shady tactics such as claiming the Greens want to put a brothel on every suburban street corner and running a scare campaign about council rates that may or may not be true (see below).

Finally, of course, we have the Greens. Since the BDS debacle, the fearless leader lost the mayorship and her tilt at state parliament, and they’ve kept a low profile, especially about BDS. They’re having a wee war of words with the independents, lumping them all in as “right wing nationalists” along with Sergio Redegalli of ‘ban the burqas’ mural fame. The Greens’ most recent big idea was to increase council rates by 7% for 15 years (i.e. forever) to raise $30 million for a Stalinist re-education centre and giant effigies of Benjamin Netanyahu to be burned every year on Nakba Day. Sorry, a park and a library. They’ve now abandoned the levy idea, they say.

Meanwhile, the Council is deciding actual local issues such as whether or not to allow a 24-hour gym to open LITERALLY IN MY FUCKING BACK YARD (not literally) and nobody can tell me why they think this is a good idea, but no one’s actually saying they’ll oppose it, even the communist, business-hating Greens. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to be a NIMBY.