What I thought about in Hungnam Prison

Question:

"Can you share your experience when you worked as a forced
laborer in Hungnam Nitrogen Fertilizer factory?"

Answer:

If I talk about my experiences there, you will all be very serious
and tense. Once I start talking about it, I will have so much to
share. Each episode is a tearful story. Now that I think about the
time, such a time was absolutely needed. It was a necessary time
period for myself. Such a time is needed for you.

If someone who is taking responsibility for saving all humanity is
hit once, it would be a condition for ten thousand people to escape
from being hit thousands of times each. Once you understand such
sacrifice in the past, it hurts your heart. Your heart naturally
pains. By the same token, God always remembers my bitter experiences.
Because you feel pain for me, you are standing in a noble position
compared to people who persecuted me in the past. You will stand like
a friend of the Teacher (Rev. Moon) at a time looking back at past
history. Since the Teacher went through such a time period, you can
make a condition before God that you would go back in history and
become friends of the Teacher in this time, knowing what he went
through. Without a condition, that is not going to happen. So, you
need a time of listening to my story and realizing my suffering to
shed your tears. So, should I start telling you my story? ("Yes!")

Rev. Moon went into a prison so many times. So, I am an expert of
prisons. I understand the life at the bottom of human existence. I
saw the reality of the miserable human life of this class. In the
prison, I spent my life together with all kinds of criminals such as
robbers. I slept and ate food together with them. I would tell you of
the most pitiful people who received the ultimate sentence, namely
death sentence. We were all in the same cell, together. I would never
forget their thoughts and feelings.

If there is a way for them to avoid death, I would have told any
methods or expediency. If there is a way to live and receive an
order, there will be nothing that they will not do. For them, it
would be most miserable and dreadful to have their names called. Once
his name is called, it could have been the last time his name is ever
called. So, each of them is shocked to hear his name called. Once
called, he would have a deep sigh without knowing what's next.
Observing that, Rev. Moon thought something like this. If a container
is filled up to the top with water and you tell one of them, "If
you put the container on your head, walk around Tokyo streets and
don't spill one drop of water, you will be forgiven," it would
have been possible for them to do this. Do you understand how
desperate they are? If there is a way to live, they will do anything.
So, because of their attachment to their lives, even as they sleep
they continue to sigh.

As I saw such reality, it was my teacher, comparing me with them.
I must serve God a lot more than them. I questioned myself, could I
offer my sincere devotion with a more desperate heart than the
prisoner's serious feelings toward his own life? I honestly was not
confident. Then, I once prayed through them saying, "I want to
have a more desperate heart." However, I have never been in the
same situation, so that I really do not know. Once I am put in the
same situation, I can say that it is not a problem for me to die. It
will not be the issue. The real question that I think about is, if I
can console and comfort God when facing death. I thought about these
issues. So, I made up my mind, even if I face a death, I will not ask
God to save me. Rather, it is my challenge and question how I can
console God. I thought about these thoughts.

Once you stand in a miserable situation, God must know your every
feeling and pain. As God loves you so much, He understands every bit
of your feelings and sufferings. Knowing God experiences more pains
and anguish than you seeing you suffer. How can you pray to Him,
"Please save me, God. Help me to get out of this," since
you are his child who should serve Him with filial piety. If you pray
like that you are not a filial child. Therefore, I decided to be a
filial son who can comfort and console God facing such a situation.
The teacher does not pray to God when I am situated in such a
position. I made my mind up not to pray. I walked this path with this
determination. You cannot imagine how serious I have been. I cannot
forget what I thought about at the time.