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Maybe I’m Faking It Because I’m Lazy

January 8, 2009 — kerriesmyres

My head hurts so much that I can barely walk. I’m on the verge of throwing up. Yet I’m still wondering: Maybe the migraine isn’t that bad and I’m just being lazy. It is the unrelenting refrain. Whenever I think I finally believe I’m not faking it, the doubt comes back.

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13 Responses to “Maybe I’m Faking It Because I’m Lazy”

Whenever a patient I’m working with has these types of thoughts, I ask her, “What would you say to someone else with your symptoms? Would you tell them they’re lazy and faking it, or would you believe them and give them a break.”

We’re often much harder on ourselves than we would be towards someone else!

I am so sorry that you’re in so much pain. I just got over a horrendous 48 hour headache myself. You are being way too hard on yourself. I do it, too, so I know how easy it is. But sometimes, when I’m laying there thinking about all the things I need to do around the house or errands I need to be running, and I know I’m feeling guilty, I remember I need to cut myself some slack. And so do you. :o)

You (and the rest of us) are NOT faking it. Who would want to miss out on life the way we do? I would love to be able to work and feel good about myself the way I used to. No way could one fake this kind of pain. I wish I could encourage you; I know how depressing this can get.

Actually, it’s the other way around for me lately. I have awakened at 5:30 AM with just a full blown pain, vomiting the second before my eyes even open, writhing in pain…..it’s those moments when I have that ‘brand’ of migraine that I know….’Hey, this crap is for real, I am in no way faking or exaggerating this crappola!”.

It’s hell, but it’s almost reassuring at times. I do have a glitch of some sort in my brain.

Millions of people suffer from the same affliction you do. I seriously doubt it something
made up.

Have you ever heard of the NTI? For some, clenching and grinding of the jaw serves as a catalyst for migraine inducing strain on the muscles in the head and face. One way for patients to treat their TMJ pain is a small thermoplastic device that prevents the the posterior teeth from touching. The device is called the NTI-tss Plus. In clinical trials reviewed by the FDA, 82% of medically diagnosed migraine sufferers using the NTI-tss had a 77% average reduction of migraine pain attacks within the first eight weeks of use.

Thanks so much for this post, Kerrie. I’m glad to know that I am not the only person to struggle with these doubts.

Once in a while I have a day where the pain is light, and I immediately experience the opposite: the feeling of “Oh WOW! If I felt like this more often, I could accomplish ANYTHING!”.. which in turn allows me to validate what I feel on those days that I’m hurting, and unable to do even the simplest of chores.

I agree with Reese. Also I really believe that brain of ours goes through some nasty changes most probably chemical changes that occur during a migraine, and make you feel depressed and those thoughts just start to roll around in there. Just hang on for those few moments of relief and for me at least, rational thinking! You are not lazy!

I’m new to your blog and forum but i like it so much that I’ve linked it to mine. This particular post hit me hard. When in the middle of crisis with my other chronic disease, I often felt the same way. I’d go to sleep at night thinking, “I could have done so much more with myself, tomorrow I’ll do better.” In reality, I could not have done more. When I get one migraine after another, I feel like this too.

You are doing your best and you’re very brave to put your feelings and thoughts where the world can see them.