elephant in the room: i got into a fight. not going into details, but will share something with you- i was totally ashamed of what i’d done. there was a time when i’d have bragged about it, but like i said that guys gone. but at the time of the fight, 2 months prior i went into deep isolation: avoid friends, not leaving the house, and not eating. my family was seriously worried.

other interesting news: i dropped out of school and quit looking for a job. told my mom, “i think i need to just concentrate on readjusting to civilian life and dealing with the PTSD.” personally, it took me a few days of thinking over after the fight.

what am i gonna do now? simple- nothing.

just get my shit together and deal with each day as it comes. not really much else i can do. how will i get money- pfft, that never gonna be an issue. but there’s more news you probably won’t believe- i quit drink out of where 2 weeks ago. ZERO beers, and i honestly have no desire to do so.

then today, just a few hours ago, i was at the VA. i saw mental health so could start on getting my disability fixed. i’m at 10%, i’m easily at 80%. however, what i’m not getting is retroactive. so the paltry 10% clocks in at $133.22. yup. i did the math and i HOPE to be getting $64822. well guess what mental health told me in the end.

“i think yo need to just concentrate on readjusting to civilian life and dealing with your PTSD. you’re not ready for school or work.” *facepalm*

i still plan on writing so don’t worry. i’ll do my best to get 2-3 post out a week.

i’ve been away for a while. sorry. been going through a lot of shit. long story short- i’m quiting school.now i have a few months to figure out what i’m going to do.

if you really want to understand, watch last sunday’s episode of walking dead where eastmon explains PTSD to morgan. i put the tv on pause and cried……for a good 5 minutes. don’t know where i’m heading i just know there’s a road before me.

got into a fight last night. guy was unloading his groceries into his car and pushed his cart away.