Dear SAQ’s:I wrote the above question about the amish. I send you questions all the time about them. Do you think I’m obsessed about the amish? Are they afraid of modern conveniences like toilet paper? Do they even use it? Do they know I watch them to make sure they don’t use electricity? What’s wrong with me? Should I convert? Thank you.
Dear Jim Bob Duggar,
Fear not, the Amish will never replace your show. The good news is that there's no need to convert because you're both stuck in the 17th century. Plus the mystery of how you and your wife can both be such uptight dorks and yet crazy nymphomaniacs will always trump the Amish in ratings (even if TLC uses a full chicken and 2 dozen eggs to talk them into doing a show like I heard). Remember, what goes on under the quilt will always be more intriguing than what goes into it. But if all else fails, try a fist fight - that always works on other reality shows.