I first loved you, once.
I fell in the summer’s eve.
The sweet moon passed
over sycamores,
pulsating
limbs and leaves, bulbous
veins zinging with unity,
belonging.

I didn’t know you, once.
I didn’t know you at all.

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Apologies once more for my inability to post regularly, life seems to be in the way at the moment ha…
Haven’t written poetry for a while, let me know what you think 🙂
Image is my own.

Today’s blog is giving thanks where thanks is due. The other day I logged on to find that, despite my terrible consistency with this blog, I had been nominated for a Shine On Award! This came as quite a surprise and could be the kick up the rear I need to get back into regular writing…although it has taken me a long time to even complete this post x]

The nomination is a great thing because it acknowledges the effort bloggers put into their work, a pat on the back of encouragement and a sincere ‘Well Done’ – something we should all offer each other more often, though often bypass. In a world where we are quick to complain when something goes wrong, this award serves as a nice reminder that we should also show appreciation for when things go right!

The following guidelines are in place for passing along this award:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. State 7 things about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.*

Simple enough, so here’s mine!

First of all, a huge thank you to Ellie over at elspod, who nominated me for the award. She is an absolutely fantastic writer, who excels in the stricter compositions of fiction and poetry as beautifully as her more free, observational personal blog posts. A peruse through her blog allows you a glimpse into her life, from the highs and lows of relationships to ponderings over dreams and facts of life. Ellie is also a consistent blogger, instilling a little guilt in me each time a newly crafted piece is posted for not providing my followers with as much content 😛 Aside from her writing abilities, she is also a great friend of mine. When I turned up to an early lecture last September, hung over and acting like a bear with a sore head, poor Ellie endured my grumbles and stand-offishness for the full hour – and still wanted to talk to me some days later. That’s the way Ellie is – always seeing the good in others, never judging without good reason, and she always puts others first. We have since become very close friends, guiding each other through our Creative Writing degree, friendships, relationships, families, all sorts. We’ve laughed and partied and chilled and cried and grumbled and smiled and advised. It feels we’ve known each other for life. If you do one thing today, browse her blog, show a little love with a like or comment, follow if you like. She’s a beautiful person 🙂

Ok, enough singing Ellie’s praises for now, time for the 7 things about me. I don’t really know if I have that many things that are interesting enough, ha…

1. I used to Irish dance. My family have Irish roots, with quite a few members of my family taking up the dance. I never competed, preferring to dance for a hobby instead. One thing I disliked about it was the culture in recent years that encourages glitz and glamour, with an almost beauty-pageant feel to the outfits. I admire the old dance dresses with intricate, hand stitched Celtic embroidery far more than the sequins and wigs. In some ways I wish I never quit, as it is great for fitness and the complexity of the steps as you progress allow a feeling of achievement when you master them. However, I don’t think I will ever return, instead just cracking the steps out on St Paddy’s Day parties and convincing my drunken self I can still do them right 😉

2. I have a large, complicated family tree, with three brothers and three sisters. There is a large age range between us, meaning I also have four nephews and a niece who are all gorgeous kids. Family is very important to me, and I’m lucky to be close to both sides of the family.

3. I am never 100% satisfied with something I produce, whether it’s a written piece, photography, drawing, my grades, whatever. In some ways it’s good, because constantly striving to improve can only be a positive thing, but it would be nice to feel satisfied every once in a while.

4. I have no idea what I truly want to do in life. Writing is a passion and something that pays off for me in terms of my grades and feedback, and I would hope to be in that small percentage of people who can support themselves with their writing alone. I toy with the ideas of journalism or publishing and other such careers, and I have a series of ‘if-all-else-fails’ options, but I’m yet to find anything that truly captures my attention and motivation enough. I want to be one of those people who lives to work rather than works to live, like most people I want to be in a job I truly adore. I just don’t know what that is yet…

5. I seem to be proving quite a good judge of character. Often when meeting someone and I have a gut-feeling, I am proven right – if I feel uneasy the person usually ends up being a liar or something, at other times I feel ‘there’s more to see to you’ and then they come out of their shell into a fantastic person. Of course I’m not right every time, but I feel it’s a useful knack to have 😀

6. I reallyreallyreally want to travel, though not necessarily the whole world or the ‘usual’ places. My main goal is to visit South America, and I want to see more than the tourist locations – I want to see the real lives of people there. I would also like to visit New Zealand, the Caribbean, some African countries, more of the US (I’ve been to Florida but nowhere else), and more of Europe – particularly Italy, Portugal, Greece, Norway, Czech Republic and more regions of Spain. There’s a lot I want to see haha.

7. I wish I had a great natural talent, such as a beautiful singing voice or amazing ability to dance, be able to play an instrument fantastically or some other great talent. I envy those who can captivate an audience with a movement or sound, especially those who can do it with little learning – the un-choreographed dance or unrehearsed song, the impromptu band jamming together.

Phew, enough of me. That’s harder than it seems…now, to pass my own nominations on, in no particular order 😀

readful things blog – this blog is great for literary minds, offering reviews, discussion and advise to readers and writers alike. Ionia injects her personality into each post, and I can lose hours browsing the posts by her and guest writers. Through her choices in posts to reblog, I have discovered many other interesting blogs too 🙂

Eleventh Stack – this group of Librarians in the Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh offer a great blog showcasing what they have at their fingertips, ranging a variety of topics linked by relevant books, films etc. They have a wealth of knowledge between them and deserved to be Freshly Pressed, and always have something different for their followers

Renard Moreau Presents – Ok this blog has asked for ‘No awards’ and so this nomination is not required to pass it along. Normally I would respect such a request but I had to share this great blog nonetheless (I hope you don’t mind!) as it was one of the first I had followed on WordPress and is still a favourite of mine. The tagline ‘Cool Miscellaneous Thoughts’ certainly sums this blog up well, with such variety of posts that frequently entertain. My favourite part of this blog is Renard’s ‘Just Pondering’ pieces, as they are often short but sweet, throwing up questions that leave me turning possible answers and points of view over in my mind. Definitely worth a look 🙂

101books – this guy has embarked on a pretty awesome task and built his blog around it – reading his way through the Time Magazine’s ‘Top 100 English-Speaking Novels since 1923’ list (with the addition of Ulysses), reviewing each as he goes. His reviews are honest and straight forward, no high-brow literary snobbery like the usual critics but a genuine guy with a rich perspective applied to wonderful books. I’m somewhat ashamed at how few on this list I have read, but this blog inspires me to pick up my own copies of these books 🙂

Leanne Cole Photography – Aside from my usual writing/book related blogs, I also follow a number of photography blogs. I enjoy this blog immensely, as the images are diverse, well executed and I enjoy seeing her experiments. A talented photographer who I’m glad to have stumbled across.

Bucket List Publications – This blog encompasses my number 6 on my ‘about me’, following the adventures of Lesley Carter as she travels around the world exploring one step at a time, scratching each goal off her list. I envy her ability to fulfil these desires, and can only hope that some day I can be in a position to fulfil my own. In the meantime, we get front row seats to her vibrant journey.

Sethsnap – another photographer’s blog that I enjoy, who fuses his art with creative writing. One of my favourite features is the way this blog engages followers with ‘Your Story’ in which you are given a photo as a prompt and encouraged to use it as a creative starting point – whether you are a writer or not. Although I have only attempted once, I often browse other people’s contributions, as well as the wide variety of interesting other pictures. Pay him a visit and maybe add your own story 😉

KateSpanish – this blog is a fashion and lifestyle blog, inspiring me to search a little harder for affordable clothes and take more care over appearance, for Kate always looks lovely in her outfits and it’s not all Prada and Chanel like some. She always has some cute finds, and I also enjoy reading her personal posts including those about her wedding planning and DIY projects. Overall a lovely blog that I enjoy having on my dash 🙂

Thoughts Appear – ‘Thoughtsy’ invites followers into her world of Pop Tarts and cupcakes, creating a blog who’s posts are wonderfully unpredictable. She manages to sprinkle a layer of humour and amusement over every post, even when addressing big and serious topics with honesty. Definitely an enjoyable blog to browse 🙂

A walk with my camera – this photographer documents his beautiful images on street scenes in his Philippine city. I’m fascinated by his images as they allow a glimpse into a culture so different my own, and there is a real sense of it being a genuine representation of his town 🙂

Scribblings. – Dom posts a variety of pieces on this blog, from general thoughts and personal events to fashion inspirations and poetry. She has a good mixture of moods and tones, from serious issues to amusing moments, honest perspectives on her experiences and I’m always interested to see what will come up next.

MOMENTUM – my favourite thing about this blog is that there is always something positive to find. I’d love for there to be more regular posts (not that I can speak, Queen of the Inconsistent Bloggers….) because they often set my thoughts pondering or bring a smile. This blog covers books, philosophy, religion and productivity, and so far is proving to be an interesting blog following the writer’s explorations into each category, and I’m eager to see how this blog grows and develops 😀

*Note: I haven’t fulfilled all 15, due to the fact I realised most of the blogs I follow are large company-based blogs, and I feel the purpose of this blog is to spread the award to individual/smaller blogs in order to encourage individuals to keep going, to help them gain followers and to present the award based on the writer(s)’s talents. To award it to a larger blog with many writers and with thousands and thousands of followers feels as if it undermines the others sharing nominations – maybe that’s a silly viewpoint, but it’s my view nonetheless. So despite only nominating 12 blogs rather than 15, I’m going to publish this anyway 🙂

I watched you die,
a gnarled contortion of before,
burning eyes raised towards me.
You ensnare my ankles
in skeletal vices
screaming
begging
it was a mistake, honest.
Lakes of magma
have no path to cross,
and taunting flames
lick your festering wounds.
Soul-less windows,
serpentine strangulation.
I do not fear you.
Manipulative greed is your anchor
but light putrefies you,
shredding you into fragments.
You are a shadow,
lurking in the crevices of my mind,
unseen whispers.
I do not fear you.
I watched you die.

Her teeth clamped, catching the little snag in her nail that had been bugging for twenty minutes now. A light tug peeled a sliver back, smoothing the rounded edge in one practised motion and stealing a flake of nail polish in its wake. She sighed in a manner that almost formulated a ‘tut’, inspecting the damage done to the manicure. Her gaze never lifted. Lounging opposite, he raised one overgrown eyebrow with a mild smile touching his lips, expectation lingering in the void between them. His watch ticked. He waited. She avoided.

He cleared his throat. She could sense his eyes sliding over her petite frame, tucked away securely in her modest blouse. She didn’t see his eye rest on the soft flesh revealed through her collar, the buttons parted enough to allow him a glimpse of the hollow in the base of her neck. A pendant nestled there, making its home in the subtle dip amongst winged collarbones. The twist of silver, a simple cynosure. Feeling his scrutiny burning her skin, she shifted in her seat, dropping her hands into her lap as she forced herself to meet his eye. His smile broadened, remembering those same eyes enflamed in passion as her fiery hair had haloed flushed cheeks. Searching his face fleetingly, she bristled. Snap out of it, girl. You’re not the guilty one here…Emboldened by her self-assertion, she straightened up to challenge his stare fiercely.

“You have some fucking cheek, asking me to come here. On a Saturday, too. What are you playing at?” If her voice gave her nerves away, his face didn’t show it.

She was met with silence. He simply toyed with the corner of a napkin, one which had melted into a puddle on the scratched table that formed a vast barrier between them. Yet it was not distant enough from him, not for her liking. His tongue flickered across his cushioned top lip as he gazed at her, savouring his words before allowing them to spill.

“Doll, I don’t mean no inconvenience to ya,” he murmured with his soft lilt, “just thought I’d pay ya a visit, see how you’re doing since…” he trailed off. Damn the bastard for bringing it up again.

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So it seems I’m having another creative dry spell at the moment…but this piece of fiction I’ve been slowly fitting together for a while. Of course, it is just the beginning, and I haven’t entirely decided where it will lead yet (partly the reason it has no title yet), but I hope to gain some feedback on this little snippet – does it capture your attention? Does it make you want to read on? Is it worth developing further? Let me know what you think! I may post another bit soon if my dregs of creativity can spark into something a little more substantial 😀

More prose poetry that I submitted for assessment at Uni, with a little more focus on character this time 😀

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The people complement my chains, awe in their eyes and rounded mouths. Such divine jewels draped along her throat, they whisper. Cliff-edge collarbones descending into diamonds. They don’t know these chains are my shackles. I wish my throne would devour me. It would absorb me, cavernous, casting me down between wise oak columns to fade amongst the moss. There I could lay, canopied by broad leaves with Orion as my guardian. Oh, how I love the dawn, but it has been so long since our last encounter. My palace is my prison, my king my captor. The chains snake through my hair, dripping past my ears, ensnaring my wrists. A festival delights outside my door, but I cannot add mine to the high spirits. My presence would silence, a syringe draining their pulsing electricity. I would be watched by wide eyes, studying my every move as I shimmered through the street.

As children, there was no I and Them. It was We and Us, brave hunters of the forest prowling the thickets for wolves. Adorned in feathers and tough old boots, we’d yell war cries at the Battle of the Little Bighorn, charging across pastures with cardboard weaponry. We were emperors of the tree house fortress, defending our territory defiantly from our rival neighbours. We leant on the hands of time, so keen to pass through the gates of Adulthood. We were carefree and careless. Little did we know that those gates would slam behind us. I soared with my prince to the other side of a sunset, in a tale they sing their daughters at night. But my golden tower doesn’t shine on the inside. A thousand green eyes cannot replace the emerald foliage I crave.

Another attempt at Prose Poetry, one which is definitely going in my final assignment. I hope I’m getting this prose poetry stuff right, because it’s so much harder than I expected! Enjoy, let me know what you think 😀

Your name rolls across my tongue to meet the barricade of my teeth, crushing impulse with sense. A shimmer in the eye distracts from my deep nasal exhale and you stare, brows twitching with an air of concern that gives you away. But hush, hush. You leave a finger print on Cupid’s Bow, as only you could. The bow is taut, poised for passion or perhaps pain.

My pride is turned away from your gaze and I narrow my eyes to the spinning letters dancing on the departure board. My tears pour back up their estuary to their humble spring, a spring bubbling from nerves and synapses. Your nose nudges the curve of my neck and sighs. I can feel your palm, warm against the dip of my spine while the other traces my shoulder blades. I have never felt more complete than while here in your grasp.

Pressed together, encircled in your aura. Your breath tickles the delicate twists of my ear as you whisper; This is not the end, not yet. You have buried into my flesh, impossible to extract. Your absence wounds me, soothed only by your voice. A single tear is the downfall of this mask, dissolving it until all that remains in my hands is the solution. Not long, not far. We’ll make it. Forehead to forehead, your pupils fling the curtains wide and search my eyes. Dawn cracks with the first rays of a smile and somehow, I believe you now.

First things first, following my recent neglect of this blog I’ve decided to spruce it up a bit, with a new theme and improved organisation of my posts to hopefully make it generally better. It appears I am something of a binge-blogger, as I discovered whilst scrolling back through previous posts, and my recent hiatus is to be blamed on my Easter break. I do intend to post more often, whenever the creative bug bites.

Anyway, just before my Easter break I roughly threw together the skeleton for this short piece and have decided to revisit and flesh it out today. I may use it for my next Uni work but for now it is simply playing with a different style. If you know me well, don’t panic – as with most of my work it is a persona, the ‘me’ is not me 🙂
I apologise if the subject is a little…intense. Anyway, have a read and let me know what you think!

Enough now, please. I can’t. I’m on my knees dangling from your loose hand, submerged in my own pleading. Why do you keep doing this, why do you do this to me? You’re oblivious. You don’t see, you can’t. How could you? There’s a different world behind your eyes and you won’t let me in. What will it take? Your skin scolds me yet your heart is ice, a cobra from your mouth leaving me in paralysis. I am a rabbit in the headlights, kicked in the chest by a demon that plagues me, you, plagues us. The void widens, leaving me suspended in the swirl of my own words, shards that tried to pierce the stone mask. Such contempt is a barbed needle, and once more I accept an insult that shreds me inside. It shreds me when I try to remove the sting, try to save myself from your venom. You are possessed by a malevolence you cannot reign in, and I fall prey to your corrosion. What will be left? Like a plaster on a bullet wound, sorry just doesn’t cover it. I beg, I beg, no more, please.

This fiction piece has been written for my Uni assignment due next week. If it feels familiar, it’s because it is a re-worked, developed and expanded piece based on work posted here under the same name. Hope you enjoy.

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With a slow groan, the front door returned to its frame with a thud. It unsettled the house, lifting the dust particles to dance in the light beam until they drifted back to their dormant position, and also on to Mia’s face. No-one had crossed this threshold for years. Her eyes scanned the grand entrance, pupils dilated to fight the blindness of gloom. They came to rest on the ornate coat stand, which once served as her prima donna in the puppet shows she set up for her family, donned in her grandfather’s trench coat that had carried a lingering scent of clay-like mud. The stand used to gleam under her grandmother’s watch, polished to perfection, but those days are long gone. It now stood bare, coated not in military finery but instead the dulling flakes of dust and, more recently, ash.

Her step echoed as she progressed steadily forward, towards the back of the house. As she passed, her hand instinctively trailed along the smooth marble banister of the curved stairs, caressing the end post the way so many of her family members had done before. The ground seemed to shift as she dislodged years of neglect, kicking over charred wood and what was once a vibrant Persian rug which had suffered flame-bitten wounds, disfigured by destruction. The darkness withdrew the deeper into the house’s belly she walked, overpowered by the sunlight that splintered the shadows. She stopped.

She had not braced herself for the sight before her. The earth fell away, leaving her on the edge of a crater where once her kitchen had stood proudly.

I’m not a particularly sentimental person, or a huge fan of expressing my emotions in respects of my partner – I’ve never been one to flood Facebook with intense and frequent outpourings of devotion. But I think maybe once in a while is acceptable, so…

Today I am grateful for Jake, and I want the world to know that. Seeing as I can’t stand on the roof and yell it, posting it here will have to suffice. I have a lot to be grateful for. He keeps me sane, even though often he is the cause for my insanity 😛 He is my anchor, keeping my head out of the clouds and on a level. He has the best sense of humour, and always knows how to make me smile, even when I feel like shouting or crying or running. We’ve been through hard times and dragged each other through them, and we’ve kicked back and sailed through the good times with Bob Marley and a cold cider. We play and joke like children and argue like an old married couple. We have so many in-jokes we can’t even remember them all. We go for meals and movies, we have the hearts and candles and flowers and teddies, but we also have the assassin films, Sims 3, play fights, pillow fights, the yelling at the Xbox when some bastard shoots us AGAIN, the debates over which Avenger is best, and of course, stealing bites of each other’s food (well, Jake stealing mine…). He can read me like a book, and I him. He knows my worst fears and my greatest dreams. We compare and consider what the first things to buy would be, if either of us won the lottery (Jake would buy a KFC bucket, of course) and whether we would even tell anybody. No-one else rolls their eyes quite like Jake does when I throw the millionth outfit on to the bed in a fit of I-hate-all-my-clothes. I trust him with my life. He turns into a 5year old child when he’s had one too many, or when it’s Christmas, or when he’s just generally excited at anything. His enthusiasm for life can brighten anyone’s day. He’s protective but not stifling, concerned but not controlling. He fits into my family as if they have known no different, and his family have welcomed me with open arms. He drives me so far round the bend I could reach to slap his ass and sometimes I have no idea what nonsense he is talking. But I wouldn’t change a thing, not in the slightest. Read more…