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-D. M. Jeftinija Pharm.D., Ph.D. -- Yes, I've got two doctorates and I'm arrogant about it, what have *you* done with *your* life?"People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do." "yeah.. but we won't care.""Legostar's on the first page of the guide. His opinion is worth more than both of yours."--Yeahduff

-D. M. Jeftinija Pharm.D., Ph.D. -- Yes, I've got two doctorates and I'm arrogant about it, what have *you* done with *your* life?"People who don't care about anything will never understand the people who do." "yeah.. but we won't care.""Legostar's on the first page of the guide. His opinion is worth more than both of yours."--Yeahduff

Rkolter wrote:There are two cats on a roof. How can you tell which will fall off first?

The one with the lowest "mew".

(mu - coefficient of friction)

How many astronomers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Astronomers don't use lightbulbs, they use standard candles.

Did you hear adout the party on the moon?

There was no atmosphere.

Did you hear about the party on a neutron star?

It was packed.

Did you hear about the party in a black hole?

Me neither.

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...

*remembers those all*

MattRo wrote:BAD JOKE WARNING! Seriously, this one is very bad. And not in a "bad joke" sort of way, but in a disgusting-should-never-be-said kind of way. So if you can't handle it, don't read any further...

Once upon a time there was a successful inventor. His company was making massive profits and people around the world were clamoring to buy his stuff. That is, with the exception of Korea. For some reason business was terrible, and for a year he tried to figure out what was wrong. Finally the inventor paid to run a secret survey, and discovered that his main outlet in Seoul was managed by a bunch of idiots and tyrants. Customer service was terrible, and employee turnover was high. The inventor made up his mind to have all the top management of the Korean branch fired. It didn't really matter who replaced them. So the inventor went on a trip to Seoul and during breakfast at the hotel, he met three brothers from the east coast, the oldest of whom had just finished his MBA. The inventor decided to mention he was replacing the management at his company's Korean branch, and the brothers immediately agreed to take the job. Two weeks later, the brothers were outside their new offices on their first day. To the oldest brother, the inventor said "You are in charge of human resources."To the middle brother, the inventor said "You are in charge of finances."To the youngest brother, the inventor said "You are in charge of supplies."After a week to get them started, the inventor announced that he would be back in 6 months to check on results.

6 months later the inventor returned to the main outlet in Seoul. So far it looked good. The building had a shiny new sign out front and a fresh exterior paint job. The landscaping was immaculate, and the parking lots were far more filled than before. Looking inside, business was clearly bustling. Heading over to the customer service desk, the inventor asked how things have been in the past six months. The woman at the desk smiled and said business was much better-- all the new managers were magnificent people, and the business was now turning a huge profit. This said to the inventor that the first two brothers had done an excellent job. Curious about the third brother, the inventor asked to be shown to the stockroom.The boxes were stacked sloppily, a handheld scanner was left carelessly on a shelf, and the forklift was parked awkwardly across the main walkway to the break room. Shaking his head, the inventor made his way around, wondering if anyone was back there. The lights were off. Letting out a loud sigh, the inventor turned on the lights and sat down on the couch, trying to think of how to explain to the other two that they would have to fire or demote their younger brother.

Suddenly, a closet door in the break room burst open.

The youngest of the three Korean brothers came out wearing a party hat, with a large cake on a platter in his hands."SUPPLIES!" he shouted.And in fact it was the inventor's birthday.