Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Infidelity isn't one of my issues. But I can say that pain goes with everything. As a mother it's very painful to hear stories of children being harmed by their own parents. If I had to read about them all the time, it would probably be very harmful to my soul. Does that make sense to your situation. Too much of something can be harmful to you.

As long as you are somewhere getting the hel and support you need to move forward, I think you are probably making the right decision for you.

I too visited the Infidelity forum, hurtin', and decided early that I had already rehashed enough and was totally ready to move on from that phase. I don't think your desire to move on means that you have to think about things/deal with it some more. I think that you're ready (IMHO) for the hope, rebuilding, and new lease on life.

This is a great group of supportive people here. There are painful stories, but this is also a group of people who are moving forward, who are laughing in the face of the pain, and who will lift you up when you need it. Sounds like you are one of us.

I never joined infidelity, but I know memories of the affair and associated triggers are painful, less so now. So I could see how you could get to that point where rehashing serves no more purpose. These groups are tools that we need to help us move on. I find myself no longer needing this site as a tool to help with breakups and divorce rather it is a bit of a social network. How healthy that is is questionable. But I'm trying to be on here less as time goes by.

The infidelity will always to painful to an extent so I don't think there will ever be a point when you can think about it with complete indifference. So long as you can focus on what happenned in the relationship that led to the infidelity then that's what's important. I want to clarify that it's not about blame but rather understanding. There could be very little if anything you could have done. So if that group no longer deepens that understanding then it no longer is useful for you at this time.

It's one thing to talk about going through a divorce, but when you have to constantly dunk your head back into the shit that is infidelity and you keep those memories fresh...it has a way of wearing you down.

There may be a sense of feeling guilty that you're no longer there, but you have to let go of that. It won't be immediate, but you will find in time that the less you hash out all the details, the more it will start to become in the past and not some event you keep reliving over and over again.

Thanks for your input. I had been thinking about leaving the infidelity group for a few weeks now. I found myself going there less and less and when I did go, just felt bad. It didn't seem to help me anymore and I didn't feel I was helping anyone by being there.

You've helped me a lot and reinforced my decision to leave. Pasta is right--I don't need to &quot;dunk my head in the sh*t&quot; anymore. Nice analogy Pasta--really gets the point across in a rather graphic way. lol

i think that the break-up and divorce are just as painful, however, we have so many people at different stages and we also go into a lot of things for healing, maybe thats what makes us unique. i could wallow i guess in this forever and ever, but what would be the point, the result would be the same. here there is discussing, helpful hints at healing, laughter, warmth, friendship. perhaps that is why i don't really go into the depression group anymore either, i do live with depression, but i also have so much more in my life too.

I started out in the infidelity group as well as this one but even though my x cheated on me, I didn't really feel like I belonged there completely because a lot of the posters are working on reconciliation. This is more my home and one day I'll graduate. :)

And I should add that I haven't participated in the infidelity group for a very long time so it may have changed since then. There were also a few &quot;OW&quot; who would get on and harrass the ones who'd been cheated on by a spouse.

This is your way of moving on. Just because you don't want to keep reading the same sad stories doesn't mean you are trying to avoid the issue. I was only on the infidelity support group maybe 2 days and I was done.

i never even look at a group like that because i found this place first..until i saw your post i never even thought there was a place like that..glad i didnt find it..couldnt be some place where they just *centered* on that

I actually joined the &quot;infidelity&quot; support group very recently. I couldn't take the stories, when I first joined DS last year. The nonsense I read from ow and om made it harder for me to accept that my marriage was over. I could have accepted death or the fact that he loved her, but not he fact that it was over sex and a screwed up mind. The illogical/irrational aspect of it all made it unbearable. My goal on infidelity is to help those who have been cheated on and it is helping me too. I know more than ever that I am an ok person.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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