WASHINGTON, D.C. – Government proceedings were brought to a standstill Wednesday when Democratic senators addressed congress in Nadsat, a mode of speech created by Anthony Burgess in his 1962 dystopian novella, A Clockwork Orange. “At first it seemed like any other speech, but then it devolved into a lot of ‘viddy,’ ‘welly,’ and ‘droogs,’” said Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner, explaining the confusion following several speeches made by Democrats in the rhyming slang. “I didn’t study linguistics in college but I sure did study America, and that is not the American language.” Frustrated Republicans called for an investigation of Nadsat’s usage because of its Slavic-sounding phrases, angling to deem it Communist propaganda. Meanwhile, Democratic House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer pronounced “it a real horrorshow day,” calling Boehner “a right shoot who I’d like to razrez in the yarbles.”