Thursday, August 6, 2009

i still don't know if i will care enough to make this a regular thing. But - as long as I'm here -

1) i thought the newest SMBC Theater, "Ultimate Staring Contest" was better than the first four - I was astounded at how much they made the live-action skit feel like a cartoon (it was the labels on everything that made me think this, then, spoiler alert, the exploding head). But I thought it was funny, in cartoony, loony-tunes sort of way.

2) i took a picture for you guys. Specifically, for Amanda. Amanda: I don't know why you want to rebel against me but consider this picture a plea for you to stick around.

update: Hm, Dragon whatever hasn't sent me a post yet. Come on, Dragon whatever! I'm going to assume he is dead, and, rather than rely on the kindness of strangers, like last time, I'm just going to write the damn post myself. I'll add yours if you send it though. if you are even alive.

so what do we have today.

Those of you who read this blog regularly probably already reacted to this comic in the same way that I did: with the simple phrase, "picto-blog!" Click that link for a full explanation, but in short, we've noticed that sometimes, Randall Munroe has genuinely interesting ideas. But unfortunately, he does not run an Interesting Idea Blog, Illustrated With Pictures. He runs a webcomic, and so he takes these ideas and he jams jokes onto the ends of them, and it just ends up as a big old pile of fail.

And today is no exception. Testing out possible flight conditions on other planets/moons is awesome. I can see that easily. But like he so often does, the punchline is fucked up quite badly.

The joke, as I see it, is in the similarity between ancient greek guy Icarus trying to fly, and falling and failing, and Our Hero, trying to fly, and failing, and specifically, the physical humor of the modern day Icarus having his work (not to mention himself) come crashing down to earth. That the well read reader makes this connection in his head is the source of laughter, if such laughter occurs.

The issue is that this connection should come after you read the end of the comic. The punchline should not be in the third-to-last panel. For those people who did not get the reference to Icarus, the joke is merely in the "HEAT LAMP" shot, which is also not the last panel. The last panel that we get is the dude falling; which really is just a forgone conclusion after the two previous panels.

A much better - but still not best - variation would be Way Walker's edit that he links to below. I would still add one thing though - the Greek Mythology line (or some reference to Icarus, perhaps Randall's original phrasing was a bit awkward) should be added, by the off-panel woman, in the final frame. Then you get the joke at the end, and it makes sense. I also like the elegant concision of merging the top three panels with the wide white spaces of the big bridge shot.

Oh and come on: Icarus's problem was that he used wax, which melts at a fairly low temperature. Hot glue is hardly the same - sure, it can melt, but if you've ever used a hot glue gun and accidentally touched the hot part you know just god damn fucking hot it has to be, and how at that heat Our Hero has bigger problems than falling a few feet, like having his skin burn off. God knows how Mr. Hat is surviving operating what is essentially a small star. Mr. Hat appears to be less into greek mythology and more into being a giant douche.

Hypothetical question: If the main character had succeeded is flying, what would he have done with that power? Does he have a way to get to Titan and try it out there?

not related to anything update: You know what I just remembered? Back when I started reading webcomics, I could list the ones I read, all four of them, in a nice little rhyming couplet. It was -

99 comments:

It's often that I read a comic, and think to myself: hey, this comic might have been funny! Or at least giggle-worthy! Or at least mildly amusing...

...if only the pacing wasn't so screwed up.

Today's comic wasn't one of those comics. Well, I mean, the pacing was bad, but also, I thought the punchline came too out-of-nowhere. Oddly enough, though, it was the alt-text that made me smile more than anything else.

Another horrible comic. We had the same joke 2 strips ago, except this time it's Icarus instead of the Little Prince. Also I think it would've been much better if he cut out the joke-explaining dialogue at the end:

So this is basically another entry for the picto-blog (you can fly on titan!) with an actual joke crudely pasted on the end. At least he tried to make one and plus black hat guy actually gets to do something rather than just be talked about so that's a plus.

Yeah, I'm with Fernie on this one. Timofei, that is ridiculous. Mythology reference vs. literary reference, and the jokes are completely different. I mean, I didn't like the comic(I did up until the "punchline"), but stick to assertions that aren't retarded. In fact, that goes for everyone on this site.

That's a very simplistic view. Like I said, one is a literary reference while the other is a mythology reference. There is no mythology book like there is a Little Prince book or ever a Bible or Koran. And the jokes are completely different. In the Little Prince comic, people are congratulating themselves while be completely unaware that they are destroying someone's home. There was not out of nowhere in that one. In this one, someone is explaining some obscure gravity stuff and then out of nowhere someone is deliberately harming him. The end does not follow from the set up, really.

I mean, if you wanna say that they're the same because they a buildup and a punchline then just about all of his comics are the same. Seriously, this comic was bad for so many reasons, so pick one of those. But, they are not the same joke.

The worst part is that comic #620 doesn't even make sense, if you look closely and apply basic physics. Remember that since 91% of the stickman's weight is being held up by the bricks, his acceleration is only 9% of what it would be without the bricks (actually, it's even less than that, because of friction from the pulleys and air resistance). So if he fell from a height of sixteen meters (which seems reasonable if you assume that the comic is drawn to scale and that the stickman is about 1.6 meters tall), then his speed at the bottom is (0.09•g)•√(32/g)=5.32 m/s (where g = 9.81), which is the same speed that he would reach if he fell from a height of 1/2•g•(5.32/g)^2 = 1.44 meters. As I mentioned above, this does not take air resistance or the pulley friction into account. Also, it would take him six seconds to fall, so he would have more time to brace himself for the impact.The funny thing about all this is that Randall has a degree in physics. The least he could have done to avoid the contradiction here is to have made Mr. Hat cut the rope or something, but then it wouldn't have worked very well with the Icarus theme (not that the comic works well as it is). Either way, this comic doesn't make much sense, physically.

Kevin,I believe that Anon was referring to him saying both "books"(mythology isn't a book) are old, and therefore saying the jokes are the same. Such a simplistic view would be indicative of someone with a simple mind, or a young person.

So I haven't read this blog much, so I'm probably restating a comment that someone has undoubtedly made in the past. Besides the fact that I understand most of the jokes, I (and I'm sure all or most of you) haven't really laughed at an xkcd comic in ages (whether aloud or even in your head). For me, the most jarring reason for this--over and above the main reasons you have all explained time and again--is that I can't get rid of the "meta" when I'm reading it. That is, with something like SMBC, I am immersed (for the few seconds that it takes to read it) in the situation of the comic itself. Like watching a cartoon, you're involved with the plot or story or whatever and that's where the humor comes from. With xkcd I cannot read it without imagining Randall contriving the comic, smirking to himself as he draws. I dunno, it ruins it for me to feel so sure of Randy's motives and what he's trying to accomplish. Maybe it's the minimalist style that reeks of non-effort, but I just can't shake off that disgusting feeling that it's like I know Randy better than I know his characters. It's like watching Dane Cook. Yeah.

Spencer,I think the joke is that his friend is a dick and would melt his wings, not so much that he intends to cause him bodily harm by making him fall(we don't see him fall, only his wings breaking apart). I still don't find it funny, though.

Spencer,Anon 9:02 again. Also, I got the impression that he took off from the ground. Like, he pulled the bricks up several feet and started from there. If he were jumping off the bridge(which I assume you assumed) why wouldn't he just rig everything from the top of the bridge and lower the bricks? Why go to the bottom?

Spencer - I admit to being confused as to what your calculations have to do with anything; and where the contradictions are. Your math checks out on my quick double-check, but the point of it does not. Was the comic edited in the night or do you have some assumption that I don't have (eg. "this guy has to die like Icarus too").

Also, let me just add to the WTF-pile on calling Icarus a "reference to some old book".

First of all, his friend is indeed a dick, but it isn't that difficult to imagine Mr. Hat causing bodily harm to anyone, considering some of his past episodes. Secondly, I also assumed that he started from the ground. You were correct in guessing that I assumed that "this guy has to die like Icarus too". In retrospect, I realize that this may not have been Randall's intent, but the Alt-text ("Please do not try any of this and die or get arrested") suggests that that's what Randall may have been thinking. Although, he could have mentioned the possibility of death merely because of the general danger of the situation.

Although the delivery did have Randall's usual spelling out of the joke, I enjoyed this one. I enjoyed the fixed one more, but it's good to see Mr. Black Hat going back to his classier ways. I didn't think too hard about the physics, as it's 0315 here and it gets in the way of the joke.

- It works!- Except you have two problems.- What?- You used hot glue on your wing joints.- And?(Panel with black hat and heat lamp)

The "fixed" version doesn't have enough build up in my opinion. The ultimate failure is improved by adding the beat of success. Think of a Road Runner cartoon. Wile E. Coyote's failure wouldn't be as sweet if not for him thinking he'd succeeded a moment before. Actually, the humor here is very much like in the Road Runner, and removing the explicit Icarus reference makes it implicit and not the focus, just some icing on the cake, as it should be.

As for the physics, yeah, he could've taken into account friction in the pulleys. However, the friction should only make his success more probable since it will take that much more force to pull the bricks up with his own weight.

Over all, I like it. Actually, the past couple weeks of xkcd have been pretty good.

You mean to say that the art is quite good by XKCD standards, because Randall decided to actually illustrate the situation instead of having two stick figures talk about it. It could be much worse, though. We could have had stickman (I guess that's supposed to be Randall, but I wouldn't know, based on the way he's drawn) in a body cast saying something along the lines of what's in panels 1-3 to the girl (let's just call her Megan). She would ask him what happened, and he would say something about "hot glue" and "friends into Greek mythology" and let us infer the rest, like he often does.

Heh, thanks, I was too lazy to do it myself. I still feel like she should say "two problems" because it makes it a little less like she's in on melting his wings and more like she observed a problem. I do like the idea of cutting out the first row of frames, but I'd rather keep the exposition intact. If it really is a picto-blog, then we need the idea there and I like having a bit more of a lead into his flight. I also like switching the last two panels.

Okay, two things in defense of randall. Sorry to you haters, but there is some quality among the crap. First, heat lamps are damn random things. I'm pretty sure that most any comic would label them, and could probably get a few laughs out of the audaciousness of it. Second, when he makes you assume what is going to happen you whine, but when he goes and draws the conclusion you also whine. Seems like either way you just want to say FUCK RANDALL. Also, dont fuck Randall, it would just add to his sexual dysfunction and hed probably make a comic about it. -M

I only complain if Randall does too little or too much. Too little is saying "Wow, you sure caused quite the ruckus!" without showing us what the ruckus was or giving us enough to go on. It's skipping the part where you have to make up something funny, and just acting like something funny has happened but the reader has to imagine what it is. That's not the case here, because by mentioning greek mythology in the context of men flying, that's enough to go on to know about what will happen.

Holy fuck I am tired. Sorry if this comment is not as thoughtful as you, my loyal readers, have come to expect.

-M, let me break it down for you.

Telegraphing the joke = bad. Reasons for this should be obvious.

Spelling the joke out = bad. Reasons for this should be obvious.

"Noodle Incident" jokes = bad. Reason for this is because a Noodle Incident is not funny in and of itself. It's the character's reactions to it that are funny. Randall does not seem to understand this.

When Randall shows too much, it falls into the first two categories. When he shows too little, it falls into the third, and he does it badly. If it seems like we're criticizing him no matter what he does, it's because he always does it wrong. Sorry if that sounds snide.

I admit that on this blog sometimes we kind of reach for reasons that a comic sucks. Doesn't mean the comic doesn't suck. Just means there's no single cohesive reason it sucks. So we come here and bitch and two people will come up with two different reasons. Some say Randall shows too much, some say too little.

Take this comic for example. It's not that Randall telegraphs the joke. It's that it's just not funny. The art isn't funny because there is no art. The girl's dialogue is not particularly funny. And the situation of melting the glue on the guy's wings doesn't do anything for me either.

So I'm not laughing.

It's hard to come up with an all-encompassing reason each comic sucks, for hundreds and hundreds of comics. Sometimes they just suck. That is all.

Is this the second or third time he is basically copying the format of a commercial and replacing it with nerd (or previous XKCD) references?

Also: I love the original commercials this is based off of, but I thought the humor in the original is from clever misuse of wordplay. But here we see the basic outline of the joke, but none of the thing that actually makes the joke funny. It might have been good had he put more time in the comic and came up with some clever wordplay on his own, but he probably put the whole thing together in a few minutes.

It took me ten minutes after reading this comic before my mind wandered back to it and I realized the new comic is supposed to be a parody of movie trailers. This has been done so many times before, there are websites just for this sort of thing. I feel like he might as well have thrown up a Chuck Norris joke.

Do you mean "feet"? Or like is he falling so fast that he's falling through time?

Also! Carl feel free to ignore the rest of this comment it doesn't concern you anyway

Rob: OMG I FIGURED OUT WHY CRANDARL IS DOING THE SUMMER OF MADNESS me: !WHAT Rob: well he was so busy doing the blog and the webcomicthat he couldn't get his book outso he was like 'I WILL DO GUEST POSTS'

YOU GUYS THIS IS SO CRAZY IT MIGHT BE TRUE YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS TOTALLY TRUE OKAY BELIEVE IT

None of the Icarus edits suggested here work. None. Not even Carl's. The whole concept of the joke is just flawed. What should have happened is that Randall should have toyed around with the idea, shaved the rough edges off it, turn it upside down, let it set a while and then he should have discared it to the fucking bin, with maybe a note in his notebook going "Flying on titan - Icarus?"

Sometimes a joke just doesn't work and you should bin it instead of "Eh, it's awkward but it'd be a waste not to do anything with it."

Also, now I have to look up those Dos Equis or whatever commercials on Youtube, because I've never seen those. The trouble is that I already know that they won't make the comic any better. So it's basically an excercise in bringing myself more pain.

He's already countered by 91% his weight in bricks, so it won't even hurt if he fell. He'd hit the ground with 9% his weight in force. To make him fall, Black Hat would have to cut the rope. You might say it's nitpicking, but in a comic that's already so heavily engrossed in physics, it's quite a glaring oversight.

@ Sam - I think it's more him saying that people who talk about games in general are boring. So, talking about a WoW raid or TF2 kill or whatever, all equally tedious to him, and therefore it must be tedious to everyone!

In other news, to be interesting in Munroetowne, you apparently have to keep drinking after you start wanting to throw up. So... be on the look out for that.And be careful when someone loves you.

Re: ultimate staring match. I watched it with the sound off, so maybe this was explained, but.. why were they putting the scarabs and antimatter in their own faces? Isn't the point of the contest that you make the -other- guy blink?

Gollum was described (or Smeagol, at least) as "almost hobbit-like" or something like that. Also, I didn't want to make it too spoiler-y. Also, sometimes i wanted someone to push Frodo into a volcano. Also SHUT UP STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.

I actually found the joke rather funny. I didn't understand the titan part, but the idea of his friend being such a dick strikes me as rather amusing. I can't really explain it, and it would be wasted time if I did anyway.

But hey, I do have a question, I know it's on the FAQ, but your answer was retarded, thus I wish for a reasonable answer. If you do not like the comic, simply ignore it. Actually that's not a question, but a valid point. Here, I'll help you.Step 1: Open browser.Step 2: Do not go to XKCD.comStep 3: Success!

No, you can't simply "not ignore it". You are simply being picky. Webcomics cannot appeal to all, XKCD is a very popular, witty comic, and many people find it funny. Because one douche simply can't stop stroking his own ego with a blog based around the comic, is...Oh forget it, no matter what I say, someone's just going to say "Oh, you're defending him because you love him!"And well, I'd defend anyone if someone was being a moron, even Tim B^Uckley. So...Just stop it.

In fact, if you get adblock, you can block XKCD and never have to read it again.

Please, you can do so much with your supposed intelligence, don't waste it on douchebaggery.

If it were so easy to ignore xkcd, I would. But alas, it's not just a matter of leaving xkcd.com. I see xkcd when I go to digg, or when other bloggers link to it to show how cool they are, or when my friends print them out and put them up everywhere. You can't just ignore it. So I'd rather just make a little place in my corner of the internet where we haters can feel better about ourselves.

What the hell is this?

Welcome. This is a website called XKCD SUCKS which is about the webcomic xkcd and why we think it sucks. My name is Carl and I used to write about it all the time, then I stopped because I went insane, and now other people write about it all the time. I forget their names. The posts still seem to be coming regularly, but many of the structural elements - like all the stuff in this lefthand pane - are a bit outdated. What can I say? Insane, etc.

I started this site because it had been clear to me for a while that xkcd is no longer a great webcomic (though it once was). Alas, many of its fans are too caught up in the faux-nerd culture that xkcd is a part of, and can't bring themselves to admit that the comic, at this point, is terrible. While I still like a new comic on occasion, I feel that more and more of them need the Iron Finger of Mockery knowingly pointed at them. This used to be called "XKCD: Overrated", but then it fell from just being overrated to being just horrible. Thus, xkcd sucks.

Here is a comic about me that Ann made. It is my favorite thing in the world.

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