Beyond Robert Gibbs & Facebook: D.C.'s New Social Network

Former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs — the man Obama called "a one-person southern focus group" — is rumored to be in talks with Facebook, for a job advising the social networking giant on… Whatever a former White House Press Secretary can advise one of the most valuable tech companies in recent history. While he's no Ashton Kutcher and his record for "poking" has yet to be proven, the man does know a few things about the art of delivering messages effectively. Which got us wondering: What other politicians would match well with social networks, and which companies could they maybe, possibly, someday end up consulting? We paired a few off into teams that could prove unstoppable, given the right demographic. Or enough "poking."

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The Quasi-Restrained Oversharers: Vice President Joe Biden and Twitter.

Speaking in 140 characters on the most popular social network since Facebook might in fact be the perfect cure (or accompaniment) to our Vice President's penchant for running at the mouth or being a little long in the tooth, at times. The only problem is that you really can't lock anybody — even reporters — in a closet when they start @'ing you questions, Joe.

The Inquisitive Insiders: Personal Assistant to the President Reggie Love and Quora.

The slightly obscure social network is dedicated to professionals in their respective fields answering questions concerning their expertise. If anybody knows more than anybody else about both what's going on in the White House and how it actually operates, it's Obama's personal assistant, who's at the president's side more often than he isn't.

If Quora is the brilliant, insightful insider, Formsping.Me is the desperate drama queen who sniffed too much glue before she got famous. Lieberman, who has enjoyed whatever attention in Washington he can drum up since his also-ran chances at the White House over a decade ago with a disturbingly addictive quality, will certainly enjoy the distinct thrill of being asked the dumbest questions people could possibly come up with, and then, answering them as often as he can.

FourSquare — the mobile networking app that enables you to "check in" and see your "friends" wherever they may be — might yet be the creepiest, most distinctly Orwellian social network out there, for some. For others, it's a chance to network the night away by creeping on unsuspecting semi-friends who regret "friending" you when you're not indulging in rapid-fire passive-aggressive braggadocio by checking into the trendy new restaurant you're at, the hopping bar you're at after, the boldface-named people you're with, etc. Reid, who is omnipresent in every D.C. power corridor known to man, could have his life made exponentially easier by this stunning innovation in name-dropping technology.

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The Emotive Amateurs: Speaker of the House Rep. John Boehner and MySpace.

Just like the Republicans brought in Boehner to potentially save them, maybe the original social network could use a breath of fresh air by hiring Boehner to make them an even marginal threat to the competition. After all, MySpace is for 14-year-old girls who cry a lot and men whose greatest career height has something to do with being a "nightlife promoter" or that time their friend made it on a Girls Gone Wild. tape. Could be a great fit.

The Inexplicable Obsessives: Senior Advisor to the President, David Plouffe and Hashable.

Hashable functions as a catchall for every social network, rolled into one place. It organizes all of your social media outlets. It basically does everything! And like David Plouffe, we read about it everywhere! Too bad we couldn't tell you exactly what either do, and like Hashable, those who can explain Plouffe's schedule are likely already in too deep.

Believe it or not, VYou is the video-enhanced version of Quora and Formspring.Me. It's great for people who have an obsessive fanbase, like Ron Paul. Or Courtney Love, who recently signed up for the service.

The People Whose Minutae Might Actually Interest You: President Barack Obama and Tumblr.

Tumblr's a blogging service you can use to share pictures, videos, music, quotes, songs, and text. Like Obama's Final Four picks. Or what's on his iPod. Or what his dog is name. Or any of the various things about the president that are more "important" than those of substance. Tumblr's the go-to vortex-like succubus for these colors of personal flavor. Otherwise, you have to actually, like, read a newspaper to get to know these people. And who's got time for that?

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