Month: August 2017

I awakened this morning thinking about relationships. One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make is to try to make her husband/boyfriend into her best GIRLfriend.

Don’t get me wrong my loves, my King is definitely my BESTfriend and Favorite Human… But He’s not my girl friend and there’s a distinction with a Huge difference in that.

Many women don’t understand or realize how they do this nor are they conscious of why they do this or the eroding this does to the relationship.

Let’s start with why…
In a time where Masculine and Feminine distinction isn’t really recognized and where even those who do recognize it often also suggest that everyone should cultivate both, many women don’t consciously see or respect the distinction between the Masculine and the Feminine beyond genitalia.

Many women grew up without seeing examples of masculinity and the examples they saw were dismissed as irrelevant, incapable or impotent. None of which creates a good ground for understanding in a deeper way Masculine/Feminine distinction. Instead there is a misformed belief that all love looks like Feminine love. As if Feminine love is the ONLY way that real love can look.

Feminine women now desire a Masculine Man and yet continue to expect and demand Feminine behaviors from him and call it support, care, love.

In other words, many women only recognize feminine support (even in Shadow) as BEING support and love.

Anything other than this is deemed callous, toxic, narcissistic and other incendiary and pyschopathologizing terms.

This doesn’t give men any acceptance for their innate way of being, the cost of her love being his emasculation, (and even then she will often find herself less and less attracted to him the more he gives.)

Add to this the tendency to expect one’s partner to substitute for Self Love… And you end up with Feminine women who want Masculine men who are also Feminine…

Unfortunately, my love, while this pattern of belief is based on a deep wounding, many have convinced themselves that this is really an evolved state for men which just further solidifies the problematic thought structure…

You may have noticed the idea of having or expressing gender normative behavior has become somewhat of a pejorative. I hesitated to share this due to the sensitivity of the topic and my desire to not wound those whose biologic sex and energetic gender are are not the same. That said I’ve been told that this is important enough to need saying and so I ask that it is read in the spirit of love, life and compassion that it is offered.