Worried toddler is showing red flags for autism. Advice needed.

Hi so totally new and nervous to this but im so lost and confused at this point.Its all I think about! My ds is 19 months and Im worries hes showing redflags for autism. The healthcare nurse and gp dismissed my concerns at 14 months and said to come back at 18 months. We moved so our healthcare nurse changed and once again at 18 months I was dismissed and told to come back at 2 years of age. Argh! Im just really in a confused tough place and really need some advice. Im frustrated because my gp and health care nurse wont invest their time into us. I am googling like mad and getting nowhere as of course this diagnoses him as asd but how can i trust google! Im a special needs assistant so very aware of the red flags and only want to do the best for my child and help in anyway possible as early as I can. He is so bright and charasmatic and makes us laugh everyday and god I love him more then words but something tells me something is unique here. Is there anywhere else I can look for help or anywhere or anything you found useful? Weve emailed a private intervention clinic this week. Some of his red flags are lack of pointing at things or showing me things but he will bring me things and when i say tata for mammy he brings over what he has,sensory issues with sand and textures which makes feeding very fussy, he hated shoes until i got this awful light pair from tesco and now I finally got him wearing clarkes, eye contact can vary and if hes distracted can tune me out esp if the tv is on, sometimes i think hes hand flapping or just feeling his blanket🤔 he rarely waves but he says bye after a bit of me saying the word! My partner thinks im looking for problems which of course im not! My son brings me things to show me, claps sometimes and loves music, tries sing along to songs, says up to twenty words , will come if i call him, loves older kids and books but points to nothing just likes turning pages, he doesnt really acknowledge new ppl but he has people he loves i.e my mam or my partners dad! hes imitates me and pretends plays i.e pretends to be on the phone or feeds his teddy and has a great sense of humour, plays ball,peekaboo and hide and seek and uses toys appropriately... altho can get very moody and upset in places he doesnt know and doesnt like being in the car unless im prepared with drinks n food etc, he still wakes like a newborn too like every 3 hours! I dont want to go on n on! But any advice would be great, im my own enemy! Any advice to this first time mam wouldbe great thanks! Anyone with an ASD that can share what your signs were? Thanks x

Thanks @buckyboo for the reply even hearing those words are greatly appreciated! I think yeah it doesnt help how aware I am to the signs and the fact family members have been effected with asd knowing its genetic...I think I need to get off google! It will diagnose everything! Thanks for the reply ! Xx

My son has aspergers and trust me your son sounds perfectly "normal" ( don't like to use that word) but you know what I mean. Don't look for something to be wrong and remember your son will do things in his own time, and if your stressed it will feed onto his behaviour .

My son has ASD and I wished I just follow my instinct and push for some help. No one believed me and my husband never supported me, thought I was looking for an issue in him. I knew at one years old that something wast right. He never pointed, rarely responded to his name, talked late and was full of tantrums. At 3.5 I went private (nhs are long) and turned out he was. Wish I found out sooner so I could have started interventions.

Thank u everyone for the replies I really appreciate you all taking the time out to give me your advice!

I had a long chat with a mother who has a child with autism and her main advice was "dont worry until you have to" and it really hit me. Im going to give my wonderful son more time to grow and develop and stop worrying! Ill worry if and when I have to and just concentrate on all the things he DOES do! Regardless of anything , nothing changes him and hes still my son. If there was a diagnosis it would only be a positive for him and us to know about and open up different avenues of learning in the future!

I think im too aware of the signs and it was taking over! Thanks again everyone! Xxx

Autism or not, he's your baby and at the end of the day all children are beautiful, challenging, and amazing in their own ways. Just go with it. You don't want to diagnose him so young...just respond to his changing needs as they happen. There's nothing you can do to 'treat' autism...so just work on lots love, patience and understanding. X

Your DS sounds similar to mine at that age (though my DS had fewer words), he is now 3 and has recently been diagnosed with ASD. It’s very hard to tell through a description on the internet though!

Follow your instincts. I was turned away when my DS was 18 months, my GP thought I was worrying over nothing. When DS turned 2 I took him to a walk-in speech and language group. I then asked the SALT to refer him for a paediatric review, a year later we got a diagnosis.

I’d like to point out that at your DS’ age, a lot of red flags can be just typical toddler behaviour too, but if it is ASD it is always best to get the ball rolling as soon as possible.