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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by Jigawatts

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Originally Posted by steelblood

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

Accused or charged, what's the difference? A black eye is a black eye. Next thing you
know Heath Miller is accused of naked-driving a motorized bar stool over the Roberto
Clemente Bridge. This is starting to get ridiculous.

According to the highest office in the country, some "very fine people" marched with torches in a violent protest in Charlottesville, but participating in a non-violent protest on a football field means you are an S.O.B. who should be fired.

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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by Jigawatts

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Originally Posted by steelblood

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

Accused or charged, what's the difference? A black eye is a black eye. Next thing you
know Heath Miller is accused of naked-driving a motorized bar stool over the Roberto
Clemente Bridge. This is starting to get ridiculous.

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Join Date

May 2008

Posts

1,451

Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

I'm staunchly against physical/mental/emotional abuse against a male or a female. I don't have kids of my own but I do have a younger sister. My gf (We've been together 8 years) has a younger brother that I consider a little brother so I see it both ways from a "protector" stand point. Now with that said I was having a discussion about all of this with my mom a few weeks ago. She flat out said that she would be fearful sending another son to college because of the now escalating actions of co-eds, specifically females preying on males. Mind you she also has a daughter my younger sister who is now in grad school. If you ask me she's absolutely right. What is to top a girl from claiming something happened because she knows society/law enforcement and the judicial system period is going to side with the female in the early goings.

Guys aren't protected at all, throw some money in to the equation and it can get ugly quick. A certain contingent is quick to go to the defense of the "innocent little co-ed" when everything points to some elaborate fabrication. The police haven't moved on anything for a reason and Jim Rome said it best. Big Ben had a dollar sign on his chest and a target on his back. Yes he should have used more discretion in this instance and a few others but just because he's our 100 million dollar man and a male doesn't mean he should be demonized. Women know the leverage they have and now more than ever aren't afraid to use it. All of which is exactly why guys have to be increasingly more careful and aware of their surroundings.

What's stopping some chick from walking out of a bathroom at a college party, seeing a guy she doesn't like and screaming bloody murder just because? I'm not saying this happens regularly if ever but what's stopping it? If a guy said the same he'd be laughed at...when a girl says it the world stops. It's ridiculous if you ask me and exactly why Ben is in "trouble" and why this Santonio thing is now coming out of the woodwork.

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Re: As a father...

Good luck to all you dads out there. I can't imagine how hard it is these days.

Before my dad died, he had never laid a hand on my mother in 31 years of marriage. I have the utmost respect for women and can't imagine anyth situation outside of life and death where a man would assault one. But I'm with Snatch98. This is insane and really there is no protection for any guy who happens to be in the cross hairs of an accusation, truth and facts or not. It's scary and I'm guessing this is something you have to talk with your little guys about as well.

I wonder how may guys here were ever in a situation where if a girl had said something you would have been screwed? A situation where consent was given but it would have been your word against hers. Scary stuff.

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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Originally Posted by steelblood

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

Accused, charged, convicted, found innocent it doesn't really matter, that's splitting hairs. They realize there is the potential that Ben did something untoward to this woman, be she a money grubbing tramp or Rhodes Scholar with an impeccable reputation and they want to know why.

Kids aren't nearly as stupid as some adults would like to think and they pay attention to adults a lot more than you believe. No one said being a parent or an adult would be easy and it isn't. Many adults aren't willing to do the necessary things to set an appropriate example of how to behave.

Pappy

The referee said that you hit Brian Sipe too hard. Did you hit him too hard?
I hit him as hard as I could - Jack Lambert

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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Originally Posted by steelblood

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

Accused, charged, convicted, found innocent it doesn't really matter, that's splitting hairs. They realize there is the potential that Ben did something untoward to this woman, be she a money grubbing tramp or Rhodes Scholar with an impeccable reputation and they want to know why.

Kids aren't nearly as stupid as some adults would like to think and they pay attention to adults a lot more than you believe. No one said being a parent or an adult would be easy and it isn't. Many adults aren't willing to do the necessary things to set an appropriate example of how to behave.

Pappy

That's the key word right there. There is no proof yet that he has done anything wrong.

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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Accused, charged, convicted, found innocent it doesn't really matter, that's splitting hairs. They realize there is the potential that Ben did something untoward to this woman, be she a money grubbing tramp or Rhodes Scholar with an impeccable reputation and they want to know why.

Kids aren't nearly as stupid as some adults would like to think and they pay attention to adults a lot more than you believe. No one said being a parent or an adult would be easy and it isn't. Many adults aren't willing to do the necessary things to set an appropriate example of how to behave.

Pappy

That's the key word right there. There is no proof yet that he has done anything wrong.

Proof is irrelevant to a child that now has heard twice in the last year Ben Roethlisberger is linked in some fashion with behavior that is boorish at best and criminal at worst. We've explained to both boys that there haven't been any charges filed at this point in time and they understand that to the degree that they can. It still doesn't eliminate from their minds wondering why Ben continues to find himself in these predicaments. Talk is cheap in this instance.

Pappy

The referee said that you hit Brian Sipe too hard. Did you hit him too hard?
I hit him as hard as I could - Jack Lambert

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Re: As a father...

Originally Posted by cruzer8

Originally Posted by steelblood

Originally Posted by papillon

Originally Posted by steelblood

I'm at a loss to explain assaults on women. I hope they are both innocent, but even the allegations are difficult to communicate to my 8 and 10 year old boys who idolize these athletes. I continue to say that I don't if they did these things. But, I'm beginning to feel like an apologist or a lawyer instead of a Steeler fan.

Treat their mother, sisters, aunts, nieces and female friends with respect and they will learn by observing you. They see you every day, Ben and Santonio are two men who have no day-to-day contact with your sons. You can remind them that you do not treat women in this fashion and that it is unacceptable.

We have two boys (13 and 10) they don't understand why anyone would do this, hopefully, because I treat their mother with respect and admiration.

Pappy

Pappy,

It is exactly that failure to understand that is the problem here. My boys want to understand why someone would do this. Being a good example is only part of the battle. Helping them make sense of this muddled, gray world is often the real challenge.

Start with explaining to your boys the difference between "accused" and "charged".

Hope that helps.

If you read my original post, you would have seen that I did explain that.

But, as Pappy pointed out, you are failing to understand the point here. They simply want to know why "someone" (meaning anyone not necessarily even Ben or Holmes) would assault a woman. Even if these two are innocent of all of these allegations, it doesn't change the fact the kids want to understand why a man would hurt a woman. And, since the accused is a big time football star whom they like and not a career criminal, it is tough for them to understand what the motivation could be.

Even if Bill Belichick was getting an atomic wedgie, his face would look exactly the same.