Now the dust has settled and the Eurovision has brought full free democracy to Azerbaijan by the medium of a song contest – or not. Here’s my take. So don’t worry if you missed the cheese fest. I’ve summed each of the 26 acts up in a line of verse so you won’t feel left out. And the poem is a lot shorter than the real thing.

I’ve been avoiding the news the last few weeks, as it’s party conference season. I have a dislike of politicians (with very, very few exceptions) but Tories are particularly boke inducing. So I wrote this poem for their party conference which has started. In the interests of political balance, I have ones from the recent Lib Dems and Labour back slapping fests which I will post up later…