Portal earrings only cost $20 and come with free cake

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The cake, is of course, a lie.

These Portal earrings are the work of Sugar & Vice, a UK-based jewelry company that specializes in making geeky novelty items and selling them through Etsy. For around 20 bucks, you can now have your very own Aperture experiment running “through” your head.

A must-have for any portal fan with pierced ears, the earrings are made from laser-cut acrylic and have the iconic portal guy poking out of them. The result when worn looks like someone pegged either side of your head with an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Thank goodness the force-field generated by the open portals hold back the contents of your noggin. Honestly, they would look good on either a male or female geek with a large love of the Valve game.

However, before you go rushing out to get your lobes punctured just so that you can wear them, be warned that these suckers are huge. They hang 1.7-inches from top to bottom, so it’s probably not a good idea to make them the first pair you ever use. If you are into extreme body-modification though, it sounds like they could certainly aid in stretching your earlobes out a bit.

If you really want to own a pair of these earrings, be prepared to wait. Due to very high demand Sugar & Vice has implemented a 10-day waiting period on their Etsy page. That’s not too bad though, especially when you only need spend $20 (plus $4 postage).