Fantasy Football: Watching a Thursday night delight

It was just a few short weeks ago that I wrote about how fantasy owners shouldn't let the Thursday night NFL games alter their strategy or affect their moods while waiting for Sunday to come.

That was before both my starting running backs were slated to play in one, however.

Looking ahead to this week, I already was dreading my running back selections. I had been riding Minnesota's Adrian Peterson and Tampa Bay's Doug Martin as starters, with Buffalo's Fred Jackson and Arizona's LaRod Stephens-Howling as backups. This week saw Jackson on a bye, with Martin (against Minnesota's 12th-ranked run defense at 100.3 yards per game), Stephens-Howling (versus San Francisco, 10th, 98.9) and Peterson (against Tampa Bay, third, 76.0) all not having matchups that made me feel confident.

Since The Hyphen only had one good game last week, I couldn't trust him yet. That left me with AP versus Martin on Thursday night.

But I woke up that morning without having the NFL Network and therefore no way to watch their matchup play out, leading to a harrowing day:

8:22 a.m. — My elder child has been shipped off to school. This leaves me time to try to convince myself that I will be happy following the matchup online. Maybe my wife will even be pleased since this will allow her to watch “Grey's Anatomy” on the big TV.

11:20 — The younger child is now down for a nap. I should take one, too, but the urge to see this contest has become overwhelming. Seeing as there is no better time than when groggy to make financial decisions, it's time to order this channel.

11:25 — Thank you, Kameron R from the Charter.com chat help window. Less than five minutes later, the transaction is complete.

5:23 p.m. — My wife reminds me of previous dealings with Charter. A quick check, however, proves that I do actually have NFL Network. Charter should give Kameron R an award for meritorious service.

8:13 — Both kids are in bed and I have popcorn. That's right, this just became an event.

8:19 — The bottom-of-the-screen crawl tells me that two of the top four fantasy adds of the week are the Jets' Stephen Hill and Joe McKnight. Apparently, the Patriots' defense really can make anyone look good.

The reality check here is that Hill had a third of his receptions for the season in that game and wasn't even targeted in two previous games. McKnight is even currently battling injury, and all he did was carry the ball seven times for 23 yards against the Pats. Picking those guys up is called reaching, and a seriously optimistic bit of it, too.

8:24 — Mall of America Field? That place really does have everything.

8:38 — Peterson runs for 5 yards, giving him 13 total and me one point. That's right, I'm in the lead.

8:43 — Martin breaks off a 41-yard run. I'm in charge of a virtual rout now.

10:52 — I wish I played in a league with individual defensive players so I could own Jared Allen. If I did, though, I would write to him with a personal plea to regrow the mullet. He would listen because of my unassailable logic. We would then go on to become best friends, and an '80s soundtrack would play over a montage of us laughing and pushing each other into bushes.

Hey, it's fantasy, after all.

10:59 — The third quarter ends and I have 39 points. This is already more than I could have hoped for three hours ago. But now I think of it as I have one quarter to go, so let's run it up.

11:14 — Martin gets three goal-to-go chances this time, proving that final try is indeed the charm as he enters the end zone. This is now officially awesome.

11:18 — Video review confirms official awesome status.

11:45 — Garbage time gives no further change, which is OK by me seeing as I am coming out of Thursday with a 45-0 lead this week. It seems the NFL Network is the best purchase one can make.