Bob's Burgers Season 1 Episode 12 - Lobsterfest

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TV Weatherman: Ocean Avenue is gearing up for this year's Lobsterfest,and that mean ol' tropical storm we've been watching is movin' out to sea,which means perfect weekend weather! Ugh! Damn it! So if you think you hear thunder,it's just my stomach growling. (Laughing) Ha! I love Lobster. This guy is unbelievable. Stop pimping for Lobsterfest! And start primping for Lobsterfest. Mmm... (Making goofy sounds) Looking primpy. No, no primping for anything! Why are you so grumpy? Come on. You know why. It's no fun being a burger man in a seafood town. I hate Lobsters and their stupid fest. Plus, I'm allergic. No, you're not. Yeah. I'm allergic. Remember our first date? Yeah, I remember our first date. You were a nervous wreck. ♪ ♪ I was having an allergic reac... never mind. Hey, what are you guys looking at over there? Um, nothing. Just pictures of people... Doing it. Oh. Hey, wait a minute. That's not porn. You brought a Lobsterfest brochure into this house? Can we please go this year? Absolutely not. Ugh! But there's so much fun stuff happening. Unveiling of the world's largest butter vat, for instance. The coronation of the Lobster queen and her court of lovely Lobster maidens. Entertainment by John van horton & the music extrusion. Mm. I do love those guys. As a matter of fact, gene, you were conceived to a jvh song. And I plan to return the favor. (Bell tinkling) Oh, great. I mean, hi, Hugo. You know, I couldn't help but notice, Bob,uh, yours is the only window on the street without a Lobsterfest poster in it. Yeah. Why might that be? Well, because Lobsterfest is stupid! What? I'll handle this, Ron. Put the sign up. It's the law. -It's the law? -Martial law. I'm grand marshal of the fest this year! Hugo, such a fancy sash. You look like sissy spacek in Carrie. Ha. Oh, thank you. But, Hugo,as a health inspector,you must know how disgusting Lobsters are, right? They're bottom feeders that eat garbage all day. Huh, they like garbage? Then they must eat here! (Laughs) In your face, Bob. And now in your window! Come on, Ron. Let's make like a Lobster and get the shell out of here. All right. (Bell tinkling) Hey, my two best customers! Two burgers coming up. No burgers for me, Bob. I'm saving my appetite for Lobsterfest. None for me either, Bobby. I just come by to show you my new Lobster cracker. Check it out — titanium with butter-resistant grips. It's the one the astronauts used. Teddy, you think the astronauts brought a Lobster cracker to space? Yeah. That's what it says on the box. Look. "The one the astronauts used in space!" I spent $49 on this. Hey, I bet you kids are old enough to crack your own claws this year, right? We don't celebrate Lobsterfest. What?! We're like Jews on Christmas. Or Jews for Jesus on hanukkah. Or me at a lesbian bar. Last night. Watched a hockey game at a lesbian bar, Bob. It was like I was invisible. Uh... And who knows the name of the delicious paste that collects here in the pancreas? Tomalley! Correct. (Clears throat) Excuse me, miss labonz? Yes, Louise. My family doesn't observe Lobsterfest. I should be excused from class, and/or given an a. Thank you. Good night. Louise, I don't normally use this argument,but if everyone else is doing it, you should, too.