Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Warning- possibly triggering content

I'm angry.

I started running back in the 80's. Thin was IN, and this motto wasn't restricted to the fashion world. The Twiggy mindset with its extreme petiteness was still firmly in place in the modeling industry, and agencies continued to push the envelope in terms of shock.That said, being underweight was just as prevalent among runners, and if you were an athlete, the title of "runner" was as good an excuse as any to remain skinny. The unhealthy idea that pain leads to all kinds of gain was promoted, and if you over trained, you were probably respected. Despite all the leaps forward that women took that decade, steps that included the first woman in space and the first woman on the supreme court, women had and still have a long way to go. Before I get off track and go on a rant about women's rights, though, let me get back to the reason why I'm pissed off lately; things haven't changed all that much.

Stephanie Herbst in the 80's

Something came up while I was doing the interview with Sarah Kuta for the Colorado Daily. Every time questions about my high school coach came up, I got uncomfortable. I was torn between not wanting to rock the boat by saying anything overly offensive and wanting to spill the beans about the pressure I was under back when I was running. Those beans are carefully laid out on the floor in my book, but I cushioned the landing. I don't want to suggest that I'm trying to blame or protect anyone here. I went into running already struggling with anorexia. Much of the pressure I experienced was internal. On the other hand, there were some key moments with coaches, not just my high school coach, that were pretty messed up in my running career. I was lucky to have a great coach my first year in college and again many years later when I started on my path of recovery. Those two gave me perspective. Looking back, I'm hurt and angry that I allowed myself to be treated badly at times. I was too sick to make sense of it all when I was young, so I internalized it.

We see it over and over again, women and girls who appear to be far too thin to sustain any kind of health running outstanding times. This happens, because there's a grace period. Decreased weight leads to an increased VO2 Max and usually better running, until the body breaks down past the point of no return. In the end, it doesn't matter what your aerobic capacity is if your body is breaking down. I believe that this false reward is partly why coaches don't step in sooner. Why should they if their athlete is running well? Even when a girl looks emaciated, a coach usually won't pull her out of competition if she's number one on the team. When my parents BEGGED my coach to step in and say something about my weight my first year in high school, he told them that I must be doing something right because I was winning races. In case it wasn't clear, that's a really nice way of saying, "fuck you." These people went to him worried that their daughter was killing herself, and that was his response. What's strange to me is that even now, knowing the end result, he claims that he wouldn't have done anything differently if given the chance. People like that shouldn't be coaches. There, I said it. In the article and in my book, you will notice all the mixed message I received: if I didn't get my act together, I was off the team; at well under 100 pounds, I was doing something right; and the one pound I gained was bound to slow me down in the state meet. How does a young girl make sense of that?

Unlike my coach, I would do a lot differently if I could go back. At the time, I was too influenced by others, too insecure to find my voice. I wish I would have had the guts to drop a few "fuck you" responses, implied or direct, of my own. Looking at the talent that went through the program at my high school, it makes a person wonder why none of us ended up in any successful long-term running careers. In a recent blog post, I go into detail about how important it is to consider longevity in a sport, something few coaches do. As a society, we are so very outcome oriented. Few consider the well-being of an athlete over the performance, and it's nearly impossible to get a coach to contemplate sacrificing some short-term achievements for a potentially longer and better career for his athlete.

When I read about Jordyn Colter, 5'1" and 79 or 80 pounds, passing out and not finishing a major high school race, I have to wonder what the fuck her coach is doing. True, I don't know the back story, but I can take a pretty good guess at what's going on there. My question is why any coach would allow an athlete who appears to be extremely underweight to compete at all. Here it is again, though, that fucked up mentality that as long as she's running well, everything is fine. It's not. Allowing someone to compete who is clearly not well is discounting the very real consequences of starvation in exchange for a few months or maybe, if extremely lucky, a few years of success. How sad that a coach won't put his foot down. Nobody in such a weak state should be allowed to race. Hell, even some fashion designers are refusing to let unhealthy models walk in shows. Maybe things are changing, but not quickly enough. As tough as it was, I was glad that I had someone sensible in my life who eventually did watch out for me in college. My coach wouldn't allow me to participate in workouts if was under a certain weight. That was extremely rare in those days, but I wouldn't have run well that year and even the following year had those rules been broken.

The bottom line is that you absolutely can not be a good athlete long term if you are not physically, emotionally and mentally healthy first. Yes, there is a short grace period as extreme weight loss progresses in which running can improve, but it is short lived and not at all worth the long-term consequences of starving the body.

Wow, can't believe you feel entitled to comment on the physical state of someone you've obviously never met. Next time you decided to tear down a young runner and her coach, perhaps you should emerge from you little cocoon and try an interview.

Do you know for a fact she doesn't have an underlying condition? Do you know for a fact she is unhealthy?Do you know for a fact she is anorexic?

Lize BrittinApril 18, 2013 at 12:34 PMWhere did I say that anyone was anorexic and how did I tear anyone down? I expressed concern, nothing more. Yes, I'm angry that a coach would allow someone to compete when all evidence points to a deeper issue. I'm allowed to express my concerns, especially given my past.

I know one of her trainers, yes.

I am speaking in general terms here, and any specifics are related to the fact that a young runner passed out in a race. That's not healthy, no matter how you look at it. Whether it's eating related or an underlying health issue, only a few people know. My goal, if you read for content, is to point out and try to promote healthy running. I have never lived in a cocoon, and why you suggest that is a mystery. If anything, I have lived and experienced far too much in the running community.

Check out later articles in which the young athlete specifically states that she needed to do things differently. She never made any reference to any underlying health issue. I didn't pull any information out of my ass for this, and I wish nothing but the best for her and all young runners, and I have offered any help or advice I can to her and at least one of her trainers

"Wow, can't believe you feel entitled to comment on the physical state of someone you've obviously never met."

The fact that she passed out during a race was published in a number of Colorado newspapers and on some Web sites as well. This would seem to be an objective fact concerning her physical state, and one doesn't need to have met young Ms. Colter to appreciate this fact. It was wonderful to see her turn in a superb performance at FLN, but can't you understand why someone who's been through what Lize has--or hell, anyone--would find the idea of someone collapsing midrace, for any reason, concerning, and that any comments she made here clearly carried no malice?

If you think Lize makes a habit of being your everyday nasty, crass or irrelevant blogger, please spend more time here reading. She doesn't.

"When I read about Jordyn Colter, 5'1" and 79 or 80 pounds, passing out and not finishing a major high school race, I have to wonder what the fuck her coach is doing. True, I don't know the back story, but I can take a pretty good guess at what's going on there. My question is why any coach would allow an athlete who appears to be extremely, extremely underweight to compete at all. Here it is again, though, that fucked up mentality that as long as she's running well, everything is fine. It's not. Allowing someone to compete who is clearly not well is discounting the very real consequences of starvation in exchange for a few months or maybe, if extremely lucky, a few years of success. How sad that a coach won't put his foot down. Nobody in such a weak state should be allowed to race. "

One question, Lize. Why name her, why call her out?

I guess it's okay in your book to publicly shame a young girl for the purposes of shedding the light on anorexia. This isn't much different than bullying, is it?

Maybe you should also complain to every media outlet that happened to mention that J.C. passed out during that race. It happened. She's a great runner. When great runners suffer that kind of misfortune, people notice. In the running world, it was news, and not just in Colorado. Not good news, but news.

Bullying? Are you serious? What planet do you live on? Does it seem to you like Lize doesn't give a crap about this girl or does it seem like the opposite?

Get back to me when you're through e-mailing the dozens of Web site owners, newspapers, and so on who also named and "called out" this girl. That should keep you busy for a while. Good luck.

I'm trying to figure out why, in the midst of all that is going on in the world, anyone would put so much effort into addressing a topic on a blog post that's over five months old. It seems that there is quite a bit of projecting going on here. More specifically, your accusations are both incorrect and absurd.

the information I got was from several sources including Gazette Preps,Colorado Running Magazine and from fellow bloggers, including Larry Eder. In a later article posted in the Denver Post, Jordyn herself stated publicly, "Before state, I thought I was eating good, but I was not putting enough into my body," Colter said. "But now, I'm watching what I eat and drinking a lot more Gatorade." Based on the information published before the state meet, I had every right to be concerned. When someone has a BMI of 15, who wouldn't be a little concerned? I don't see anything wrong with stating my opinion on the matter, but I want to make it really clear, since some people seem to have great difficulty comprehending written words, that I never bullied Jordyn, nor would I. That accusation is so far off base that it makes me wonder what kind of issues are going on with you.

Let me ask you a few questions. If I am out to tear down Jordyn, why would I also be communicating with one of her trainers and offering help and advice? If I'm bullying her, why would I take the time to write two blog posts, one before and one after her state meet, complimenting her? Does that make sense to you? Think about it a little bit before you come back with another wildly off-base response.

My issue, and why I wrote the post, is high school coaches allowing athletes to run when all evidence suggests that the athlete should take a bit of down time in order to better prepare and gather strength. I stand by what I wrote, and I believe that anyone with a fully-functioning brain can see that my intentions are not to cut Jordyn down. I have stated in nearly every post, including this one, that I wish her the absolute best. I truly hope and believe that she will have a long and successful running career if she continues to take the steps she is already taking to keep herself healthy.

The Denver Posthttp://www.denverpost.com/preps/ci_22180880/cherry-creek-star-jordyn-colter-smarter-about-way#ixzz2RL4rA3Ar

Thanks for this great post. I'm so glad you are fighting to uncover what most of us know is going on in the running community. We need more people like you who are unafraid of exposing the eating disorders so common among runner.

Thank you, Rachel. I'm saddened to see and hear about so many elite athletes struggling with eating disorders and unhealthy training. I wish I had gone down a different path, and I wish I could prevent others from doing the same.