About Me

Friday, October 5, 2012

Testimony

So, I just got back from a seminar at IHOP-KC (International House of Praise-Kansas City.

It was pretty much amazing.

One of the things we talked about was testimonies. We didn't spend too much time on it, but it was mentioned that it is important to be able to share your testimony in under a minute.

They had some people stand up to share their testimony, which was great. I definitely wasn't one of those people who stood up.

Mainly, because I always thought that I didn't really have a story. There are so many WOW testimonies, and I just always thought that mine isn't SO wow. In fact, I really just thought that I had nothing to share.

Until.....I went to IHOP-KC, I never even gave much thought to it.

And then, it happened.

God revealed to me that I do have a story. Not just any story, but my own, unique, small story. And though it may be small, maybe to someone one day, it will be powerful.

So....here it is. Short, to the point, no extra details.....TRUTH.

When I was 15, my parent got divorced and my mom moved away. I was angry, but mostly I was angry at God. If anyone asked me about God, I would say, " I hate God. I don't want anything to do with him."

I joined the military. I partied, drank, and lived fast. If I had a boyfriend, sex was just part of it. One day, a friend walked me home from a bar. When we got to my place, he came inside to use the restroom, and I fell on my bed, fully clothed, and passed out. I woke up, unclothed, next to him. I immediately started shoving, hitting, and screaming at him. He sat up and said, " Your fucking crazy. It was just sex."

I froze, and he left. I sat on my bed, and I cried. Where was my life going? I knew that I had to change. My life HAD TO change.

That was my first awakening...

Years later, I was married. Chris and I went to mass every Sunday. But we were just going...just following the "rules".

I used to run. Everyday. Miles and miles. Towards the end of my runs, I would pray for strength. One day, I said, "God, please help me, give me strength"

And I heard a voice very clearly say," I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

I fell down, got back up, and fell down again. I ran back home...with blood dripping down my knees, and crying all the way.

I kept asking myself, " Where HAVE I been?" "Where I am going?"

And you know what? .God said to me, " I will lead you down a road most will never go."

This is the end of the beginning of my story. Since 2005, I wondered what that road would be. I wondered how God would use me. Now, I know. Finally, it has not only been revealed, but confirmed. And...I am ready.