story

Over Christmas and the New Year, I had an amazing 8-day trip to South Tyrol in Northern Italy. I had never travelled to Italy before. This area is particularly popular for skiing and I’d never skied before so the trip was a completely new experience for me. I’m the type of person that will try anything once – food, experiences, everything… BUT – if it doesn’t go well or I simply don’t like it, I will not do it again.

So on my first day, I tried to learn the basics of skiing -stopping and starting in the snowplough position. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the hang of it so well. I began with a really positive attitude and tried to take in all the information from my boyfriend and his dad. Bearing in mind this is the nursery slope for children learning how to ski, I was determined to do well. I plucked up the courage to try and push off and it worked! All for a split second then I found myself uncontrollably moving backwards. Then I started to panic saying “Why am I moving backwards, why am I moving backwards? I want to go forwards”. I kept going backwards for what seemed like forever until I hit the travelator that takes children up and down the slope and landed on my bottom. Despite hugely embarrassing myself, by stopping the travelator and everyone on it looking unimpressed, I wanted to try again. So I got up, dusted the snow off myself and had another go. However, little by little, my confidence started to wane as I became more flustered by all the information I had to take in. The next thing I know, I’m slowly and involuntarily moving off and the slope is increasingly becoming more steep. At first I was calm and thought to myself that I’d probably stop in a few seconds…somehow. Then the panic had set in…I realised that I wasn’t stopping and that I was accelerating too. I shout “Jack!” (my boyfriend). He tried to ski after me but I went at such a speed he couldn’t catch me. It was too late. Time seemed to stand still and it was like an out-of-body experience watching myself in slow motion hurtling down the hill knowing that there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. To make matters worse, at the bottom of the slope stood a huge crowd of parents and children watching the others ski down. I knew I would go flying into the crowd and I thought that they’d see me coming and move but they didn’t… and I kept hurtling down the slope only for my head to hit the a flagpole (for the ski school) and a small child to break my fall.

Luckily the only thing bruised was my dignity and I didn’t hurt myself, just the small child I skied (I use the term loosely) into. I WAS MORTIFIED. I couldn’t believe what had just happened! Half of me was laughing at myself and half of me just wanted to crawl under a rock and never be seen again – I couldn’t believe how much I embarrassed myself in front of so many people. Fortunately, a ski instructor and a random lady help me up, asked if I was ok and my boyfriend and his dad took me away.

I’m actually really proud of myself because had that happened to me even six months ago, I wouldn’t have had the courage to set foot on a ski slope ever again. I’m so stubborn and if something doesn’t go well the first time, for me it seems counterintuitive to do it again. I’m so glad that I didn’t let a fall stop me from continuing to learning how to ski. Well, at first I made the overstatement that learning how to ski was harder than learning the violin but I take it back now! After the fall, we sat in the café at the top of the ski resort and laughed about it. I made the decision to try again and not be defeated before actually trying. I’m so glad I did because I went on to have 4 skiing lessons with one of the ski schools and it was an amazing experience and they really restored my self-confidence on the slopes.

By the end I could actually do things like the snowplough, controlling my speed, a few parallel turns. I felt confident. This was a huge step for me because it’s not often that I take a positive attitude from a negative experience. It also highlighted the fact that I let fear stop me from doing things, achieving things and enjoying things. I didn’t want to continue with this attitude.

If I could fall down a nursery ski slope in front of a huge crowd, I can do anything.

As a British citizen I haven’t found it very difficult being black and carrying a violin with me. I might get the odd stare for a bit especially when one has to consider the fact that there are many stereotypical discriminatory prejudices against us as black people but nothing more.

The people are lot more friendly and accepting of me as a black classical violinist in England than they are in Germany. I’m currently studying for my bachelor degree in violin performance in Stuttgart, Germany. In fact as recently as two weeks ago when I attended a concert given by the LPO in the Liederhalle, the majority of the people who attended this concert exchanged glances of discontent and disgust when they saw me: a young black man who was eager to listen to some awesome music. Many might think I was exaggerating but I actually held my peace until a friend of mine (also a student in Stuttgart from Taiwan) asked me about it since he had noticed it himself. This was the first time I’d been exposed to a little bit of what you could call passive discrimination. It didn’t involve any violations in regards to verbal or physical aggression however this minor experience pointed out to me that these kind of events could also contribute to the lack of coloured musicians in the workplace.

Another contributing factor (I would say this is the major contributing factor as a matter of fact) is the deceptive manner in which the media hides many of the great African/African American or otherwise composers. This gives a sense of misplacement for many black people (I know this because I once felt like this myself and I spoke to many other fellow black brothers and sisters who felt that way). In order to lay the suspense I will list but a few of these black composers who have been hidden from the mainstream light:

Joseph Bologne or Chevalier de Saint-Georges (1745-1799) son of a French colonialist and his African slave.

George Walker (born 1922) the first black graduate from the Curtis Institute.

Samuel Coleridge-Taylor (1875-1912). He was considered to be the African Mahler and was praised by Elgar as the “most intelligent young mind of his generation”.

William Grant Still (1895-1978 ). He wrote many works to do with the sufferings blacks had to endure in the 20th century. Works in particular such as “And they lynched him on a tree”, “In Memoriam for the coloured soldiers who died for democracy”, the “Mother and Child” suites and his most famous work the “An Afro-American symphony.”

These are but a few of the composers of African descent who were hidden from the mainstream media.