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The Bachelorette: Love and Basketball

It's been a weird week on The Bachelorette. First of all, lots of people didn't even know the show snuck a new episode in on Sunday night—if you're one of 'em, click here to see what you missed. Then there was last night's heavy episode, which, in addition to covering Dylan's heartbreaking backstory, [SPOILER] included the departure of the late Eric Hill, who died shortly after he finished filming on the show. We'll talk about the serious stuff in a minute—just as soon as we get the seriously ridiculous out of the way.

Best Connecticut attitude: Andi Here's a shot of Andi walking in Connecticut, wearing a smile that wonders why the hell she's in Connecticut right now. Emily Maynard was in London at this point, and she's mostly known for Instagramming her cats.

Most curious reaction to entering a hotel: All the guys I'm always tickled by the way people on television are made to lose their minds over hotel suites. Don't get me wrong—I am practically the mascot of small rooms with double beds and garage views. There's nothing wrong with appreciating cool accommodations. But you can do that without flinging your body against the walls or, in this case, rub-a-dub-dub, cramming into the tub with seven other full-grown men, and toasting with... imaginary shots? Is everyone having a stroke?

Biggest carbon footprint: Dylan and Andi We live in a world of bike lanes and awkward city-mandated carpools, but at least 1,000 of us just had our efforts of the past year canceled out by Dylan and Andi, alone, taking a whole train for a spin. You guys are going to EPA jail.

Worst dressed: Most of the guys, on the basketball date I assume you were all told you're playing a sport today. But I see beanies, I see flannels, I see fine-twill chinos. Next time, just borrow something from Cody, who will no doubt be hugely excited that someone's speaking to him/help you select the perfect deep scoop for your pec size.

Best burn: Lindsey Harding What would a trip to Connecticut be without a hoops session with some WNBA stars? (I'm trying really hard to assign Connecticut some characteristics here. It's not working.) Anyway, L.A. Sparks star Lindsey Harding sagely observes that she hopes the guys "have more game off the court than they do on the court." What do you mean, no game on the court?

Best score: This Oh, that's what she means.

Sleepiest narrator: Chris For some reason, Chris is entrusted with the voice-overs for the entire basketball segment. The only problem is that he accidentally ingested a few pig tranquilizers he brought from home before going on-camera. "We're gonna win...this. Time...with Andi."

Best unexplained phenomenon: The game jerseys One team has jerseys screen-printed with "Rosebuds." The other has plain pinnies that they drew on with a pen. We'll never know why.

Favorite new X-factor: Angry Josh Sorry, technical difficulties.

Favorite new X-factor: Angry Josh There we go. I've been wondering where all the temper's been hiding this season. Turns out it was boiling behind Josh's immaculate half-oval hairline, and a loss on the court sent it bubbling over. Josh could also be heard, later in the night, snapping menacingly that "She shouldn't be crying right now." Set your clocks, kids—we're exactly one week out from a new fist hole in the Bachelor mansion's faux-stucco walls.

The bland Newsie award: Marquel Marquel, I've been a fan since the beginning, but you need to find a way to stand out quick, buddy. And bundling up like a paperboy when we all know casinos are self-contained, temperature-controlled environments is not the way to do it.

Oddest camerawork: The angle on Andi and Nick V. What is this? Am I staring at a poster in the dentist's office right now? Bro, if you can't get the shot, you can't get the shot. Walk away.

Genuinely cute moment: Andi and Marcus rappelling down the Mohegan Sun Full disclosure: When this scene started up, I started browsing OneKingsLane.com, because if there's any interchangeable footage among Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons, it's the damn walking-down-a-building sequence. What brought me back was the adorable exchange that went down when Marcus tried to calm Andi by asking her what her mom is like. Fearing for her life and gasping for air, Andi responded that "She's nice...she plays mah-jongg with her friends."

Oh, great, we'll look forward to that resolving itself: The secret admirer letter I like a stock footage sequence lifted from an '80s VHS as much as the next person, but I cannot summon the energy to care about this letter even a tiny bit. It was probably production-plant Andrew. (Yes, Andrew's a production plant. All he does is make trouble, and he's from Culver City, Calif.)

Say goodbye to Tasos and Tasos' earrings. What did you guys think of how producers handled Eric's exit from the show?