Word, I think what she is trying to say is that she can go pick up her dad from the red-light district and lead him away from it, but it won’t stop him from jerking off to filthy porn when he gets home.

i’m still struggling to understand jared’s status. foggy toby maguire reference aside, i’m struggling to understand the physics of a tripartite drink… does he mean the ingredients? or does first, second, third, refer to the gulps you take? if so, how can any ‘part’ of the drink be inherently ‘cool’ or ‘kinda gay’?

i suppose whisky is cool, and a novelty umbrella is kinda gay…. but what has this to do with toby maguire? something about superman? wasn’t there a much easier analogy out there, waiting to be plucked from obscurity and used to poke fun at toby maguire for whatever he did?

A drink with me would entail getting wasted and making everyone feel uncomfortable by loudly telling strangers personal things, all the while crying and dribbling. Goddamn does that sound like a good time.

Tobey McGuire wasn’t in That 70s show or Predators. The person in those two shoes is Topher Grace, I loved him in that 70s show but haven’t seen him really act good since. He was also in the third Spiderman alongside Tobey McGuire, he was venom.

As i raised my cat and my cigarette to light with upon the stove i realized how inconsiderate i was. The boy went to sleep. I realized i could not be harmful. I feed them cheetos! They are awesome so i forgive while i eat my bag of cheetos!

I’m probably giving Elizabeth too much credit, but I just assumed she was being ironic and inverting the classic phrase “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” (although I don’t know why). She then changed the “take” to “lead” in order to jog peoples memories, which obviously didn’t work.