Dickmatized is the state of being so into one particular dick that you can come sucking it. When you are away from it, you close your eyes and see it in perfect detail, so close you could touch, smell, taste.You dream that dick.

The dick-matized woman truly craves the special dick.

Younger women tend to romanticize the man, not the dick. Many girls who boast of wanting dick are merely talking tough; they want the man. Almost inevitably, however, the woman or girl will become undickmatized. No longer a slave to his dick, she may fall for the rest of him—or not. In my case, not.

Have you ever seen the 1976 film In The Realm of the Senses? Produced in France, banned from the New York film festival that year and still censored in Japan today, Senses is lush and beautiful and erotic but the dénouement is quite shocking. Set in the 1930s, the story is based on a real couple, Sada, a former prostitute, who becomes obsessed with her lover Kichi’s penis.Their affair heats into scorching, unbearable passion—and she comes undone. She strangles Kichi in his sleep and, after carving “Sada and Kichi together alone” on his thigh, cuts off his penis.

When he called to invite me over one night, Big D asked if I had any new porn. I put Michael Nin'sCatherine in my bag—and, as an afterthought, threw in Realm. Catherine is women’s porn—but he was turned on by it. Halfway through, he unzipped his pants, pulled out his cock and pushed my head down. I was sitting on his lap riding him before “Catherine” ended so I told him I would leave it with him to finish watching alone another time. A few days later, he found Senses, put it into his DVD player—and called me as he was watching it.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked.“She cuts off his dick!”

“She didn’t get the essential concept of the life support system.”

“It was pretty hot up to that scene.”

The real life Sada did murder and dismember her lover on May 18, 1936, and evaded the police for four days, moving from one hotel to another with Kichi’s penis and balls in her handbag. After she was arrested, she begged for the death penalty, but only served five years in prison. She found both a job and a new lover after her release.

Eiko Matsuda, the actress who played Sada was the first Japanese woman to have real sex in a film—and she never worked again.

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