The challenges we face in life are often symptoms of something deeper. By only treating the symptoms, you may find temporary gratification, but this approach is nearsighted and fails to provide soul-satisfying, long-term solutions.

For years, I did not think I was good enough to be the woman I fantasized about being living the life of my dreams. So while I set goals for myself and envisioned my life when I would reach them, subconsciously, I *knew* I couldn’t really get there. I didn’t deserve that kind of happiness and success. So I would sabotage my efforts and feel like shit about it and “cope” with food or booze or shopping (hello credit card debt!).

And then Lumpy came on the scene and eventually I had to deal with my self-image issues.

I was reminded today that my job is to be a facilitator for the most powerful force there is, LOVE.

In honor of that and to support YOU experiencing self-love (while getting crystal clear so you can set yourself up for success in the new year) I am offering a $200 scholarship to the IGNITE program for the first 8 people who sign up.

The usual investment is only $497... However, enrolling by Sunday, January 3rd gets you 4 weeks of coaching for less than $300!!

Isn't it time you decided to GET CLEAR and TAKE FOCUSED ACTION in the very first month of the new year...so you don't repeat the shit storm that was 2015?

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

I created the following in response to a coaching client who shared the biggest challenge she was facing with her partner on a daily basis. They're both are under a lot of pressure at work and they have 3 kiddos. The first face-to-face at the end of the day was getting to be too unbearable until we talked through this strategy. Now they have a 'way to be' with one another that supports their goal of a loving marriage and happy family.

Here's a TIP for LOVERS who live together:Create a "Venting Protocol". You know how sometimes at the end of a long day you come home from work, you're tired, stressed, frustrated and you walk into an even more chaotic space? Your partner has had a bad day and it seems like they're taking it out on you? -OR- You had a brilliant day and can't wait to share it with your lover, but they are in a pissy mood. Instead of allowing this dark energy to get the best of you, leading to an argument, ruining the rest of the day, give each other 3-5 minutes (no more) to VENT. One person asks the other, "Listening or Feedback?". and then...

Lovers, take a DEEP BREATH.

VENTER: Let it ALL out. Huff. Puff. Make faces. Release whatever has been nagging at you all day.

LISTENER: Be present and just listen. And at the end of 3-5 minutes (seriously, no more) give feedback if (and only if) requested.

Then SWITCH, if necessary.

Finally, take another DEEP BREATH (or 2 or 10). And move on.

The key here is if your lover has had a bad day and needs to get something off their chest, sometimes they JUST want to be HEARD. This is where you LISTEN and be PRESENT. Other times, they want to work through something. This is where you LISTEN, be PRESENT and give feedback. Notice I didn't say try to FIX their situation. Couples who can effectively support each other in times of challenge often do so by allowing for individual growth. This comes from partners recognizing their strengths and abilities to be resourceful and creative. Unless it's asked for, don't give your opinion. Give your heartfelt compassion and presence.

Having a "Venting Protocol" in place allows for a conscious RESPONSE to your lover's fear/frustration, rather than an unconscious REACTION.

Try it on like a pair of fancy panties...if it's not a good fit, no worries! I'd love to hear what DOES WORK for ya!

P.S. If you'd like support overcoming a specific challenge (you know, the one you've been tolerating and can't seem to fix on your own) and reaching your objectives where you and your partner are once again on the same page, communicating effectively, and working as a cohesive team -- LET'S TALK.

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Does it feel like your connection is slipping away? Is the "sexual spark" a bit dull? Are you lacking confidence?

Good news! There's a solution that can transform your relationship into one that's passionate, playful, fun, and fully satisfying. Imagine having more energy, a light/happy heart, and a clear head. Picture what it would be like to have the same confidence and connection you had when you first started dating your lover. Want THAT back? (apply to speak with me)

Coaching provides a judgement-free space for you to truly express what you're feeling and what you want to create. As a client, you have my unwavering commitment to your personal goals. You’re assured direct, honest communication, and confidentiality.

My couples get a fresh perspective to the relationship which allows them playfulness, passion, and satisfying sex…as if the relationship were new! You'll experience breakthroughs in self-expression and become a better communicator, enhancing the love and connection with your partner. That renewal often leads to unexpected results in (seemingly) unrelated places like career, health, and finances.

Sound good?

You already know the added weight of frustration and confusion holds you back from creating a powerful romance, career, and life. One of the benefits of coaching is that you clear the clutter and create space mentally, emotionally, and physically when your perspective shifts. A shift in perspective is precisely what happens when we work together. Partnering with you on your transformational journey, I am committed to your growth and goals for the program. You are supported and challenged and provided specific resources and feedback to get you the results you want.

So why work with me?

I've dedicated my life to understanding HOW and WHY we are the way we are around sex, intimacy, body-image, communication, and relationship. And honestly, it’s because of my 23 year “obsession” with this stuff that I also KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS to heal our shame, overcome our issues, gain confidence, and have loving satisfying relationships. (Intimacy Manifesto)

I've made it my mission to create and refine an Effective, Efficient, Straightforward Process for Revitalizing Your Relationship.

Think you don't have the time or the resources? I've witnessed clients organizational skills (time management) go from fucked to fabulous in a very short amount of time making the investment in coaching worth 10 times what they're paying. And since we work together virtually (coaching is most effective/efficient over the phone) you only need to dedicate 3 hours a month to calls.

It's a pretty simple process.

Here are some of the outcomes clients have reported:

Clear and Honest Communication

Loving Cooperation

Effective Conflict Management

More and Better Sex

Real Intimacy

Self-Love and Awareness

Mutual Understanding

Unwavering Trust

Soul-Level Connection

Less Stress

I welcome the opportunity to hear your story. Click here to apply for a 45-minute Clarify & Connect Call. Your transformation begins with being HEARD and getting CLEAR. And hey, if that's all you feel you need, then great, I am honored to provide that for you. If we connect and you are eager and committed to transforming your relationship (and life) then we can talk about the next step - working together.

Here's something to keep in mind: I do not give advice or tell you what to do. I'm not your mother, your spouse, or your counselor. Coaching is not therapy. So while you have my committed listening and unwavering support, this work is only a good fit for people who value personal growth, are ready to harness their strengths and abilities, and create a kick-ass relationship and life.

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Taken from medicinenet.com, the following are some contributors to a less-than-fabulous sex life. How many would you say fit your profile?

Sex-Drive Killers:

1. Stress

The body does not react well to stress. Emotional stress may affect physical function, including sexual desire and performance. Realizing what underlying stressors may exist is the first step in treatment. Consider stress management practices such as yoga, massage, and meditation to help relieve the burden.

2. Partner

Sexual desire requires two to tango. Both partners need to feel connected and women especially need the feeling of being close. Poor communications, a sense of betrayal, lack of trust, and repeated fighting and criticism may create a relationship that lacks closeness and intimacy. Coaching may be the answer if couples find that the issues are too tough to resolve on their own.

2. Alcohol

Alcohol is usually not the answer to any problem. While alcohol may decrease inhibitions, it also decreases sexual performance and libido. Your partner may not appreciate a drunken advance and may be turned off by it.

4. Too Little Sleep

As with any physical activity, a rested body increases performance. Lack of sleep, including lack of proper sleep, may be the culprit that decreases sex drive. Sleep apnea is a potential cause for lack of good sleep and lack of libido.

5. Having Kids

Being a parent is a full-time job and you need carve out time without a child or baby around. Planning quiet time for intimacy and sexual desire may require some creative thinking, like having sex when the baby naps, or hiring a babysitter so mom and dad can have a play date.

6. Medication

Side effects of many prescription medications include loss of libido and sex drive. Some examples include:

High blood pressure medications including water pills and beta blockers

Cold medications that contain antihistamines and decongestants

Antidepressants

Birth control pills

Narcotic pain pills

Chemotherapy drugs

7. Poor Body Image

Sexy is as sexy feels. Many people have low self-esteem when it comes to their body shape and this can affect their sex drive and desire. Being happy with yourself is an important first step. A supportive partner always helps or working with a coach to transform self-image can be a great tool.

8. Obesity

Obesity affects one-third of all Americans and being overweight can limit desire because of decreased sexual enjoyment, lack of performance, and poor self-esteem. How you feel about yourself goes a long way in affecting how you enjoy sex. Hiring a health coach may be helpful.

9. Low T

While a man's testosterone level gradually falls with aging, there is not necessarily any relationship between hormone levels and the desire for sex. It is just one potential cause for decreased libido and you may want to look for other causes in addition to just low testosterone (“low T”).

10. Erection Problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) can not only affect the ability to have intercourse but also how a man feels about his ability to perform. There are many options available to treat ED and as a sex coach, I often work with men seeking a drug-free solution.

11. Depression

Depression affects all facets of life including sex drive. Losing pleasure in daily activities often requires treatment including counseling and perhaps medication. Unfortunately, some antidepressants also depress libido. Exercise is a natural anti-depressant. Eating a clean, unprocessed diet will also boost levels of feel-good hormones.

12. Menopause

Menopause may cause physical changes that affect intercourse, including vaginal dryness and pain with intercourse (dyspareunia). Natural treatments are available to enhance sexual desire and function after menopause.

13. Lack of Closeness

Making love is more than just sex. Intimacy and closeness are important part of a healthy love life. If sexual desire is waning, it may be time to inject romance back in the relationship. Snuggling, giving each other massages and spending casual time together may help ignite that spark.

Want to know how to turn things around? Evaluating and strategizing are two main components of my coaching program...Contact me today for a FREE INTIMACY EVALUATION to get things moving in the direction you desire!

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Working as a Relationship and Intimacy Coach, I often encounter male clients who report concerns about not doing the “right things” to stimulate and arouse their partner during sex. On the flip side, I also hear from women sharing versions of “we pretty much do the same thing every time” or “I’m not really into it” or “I don’t get turned on like I used to”. These patterns have the ability to disconnect two people.

Since sex is often a touchy subject and in general, we are not in the practice of verbalizing our authentic sensual desires, I sense this challenge probably rings true for many couples at some point in their relationship. When this type of intimacy and communication start to break down, other aspects of the partnership may soon follow. However, sexual intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to wane as life gets more demanding. It can be easy to attribute the lack of energy or creativity to time constraints, kids, or exhaustion from work/life, etc. but the benefits of cultivating and maintaining a healthy sex life are too important to dismiss.

The 7-Step Sensual Sampler can help relieve some of the anxiety, frustration, or apathy in a relationship by reinstating fun, connection, and satisfaction. Imagine for a moment being curious about your lover’s turn-ons. What might it be like to have him/her lovingly explore your body? What would be possible if you were both in a playful, uninhibited state and were communicating exactly what you wanted to one another? Now imagine those same qualities of curiosity, loving exploration, playfulness, and clear communication carrying over into other aspects of your relationship. How could that strengthen the partnership?

Inspired by a Sex Nerd Sandra podcast, I recently created a the following intimate exercise to help both partners (re)discover what gets the motor running. I call it The Sensual Sampler. Think about it. When you’re uncertain what appetizer you want to eat, you order the sampler platter so you can explore and enjoy different flavors, textures, and so on. Maybe you really like some while other items on the plate don’t do it for you. Do you ever find you’re fond of something you hadn’t tried before? Well this pleasure play exercise is just like that!

The Sensual Sampler works like this:

Step 1. Choose a time that works for both of you to just PLAY. You may have to schedule this and plan ahead if you’re very busy. Anticipation can be exciting!

Step 2. Begin playtime agreeing to just “see what feels good”. No expectations. No judgments or criticisms. No need to be serious. Really let your hair down.

Step 3. Decide who samples whom first. One of you gets to relax, breathe and feel. The other samples an area on your body no bigger than the space his/her hand (with fingers spread wide) covers.

Step 4. Kiss, lick, nibble, caress, massage, etc. that small area of your lover’s body while inviting them to respond.

Step 5. As the recipient of the sampling, share your experience with your partner. You might say things like: “good”, “not so good”, “harder”, “softer”, “more of that”, “move on”, etc. Essentially, you want to let them know what you like, what you don’t care for, and to what degree (really turns you on, feels okay, uncomfortable, etc.).

Step 7. Switch. Of course if you’re both so turned on and connected that the desire for passionate lovemaking is too much to ignore – go for it! Keep the fire stoked by carrying over the stimulating and arousing pleasure play techniques into intercourse.

You can always repeat steps 1-7 with the other partner sampling another time.

Based on my experience as well as the feedback I receive, if a couple is able to communicate openly in bed, they are more apt to speak freely and lovingly elsewhere. The bonus here is you may encounter areas of your body that you did not know were pleasurable. More pleasure equals more ease. One thing’s for sure: this fun little exercise will shake up the routine. Plus, letting your hair down, communicating what feels good, and inviting your partner to playfully explore with you can really increase intimacy in a relationship. You never know, you just might learn something about your lover you have yet to discover.

Enjoy!

And if you'd like a COMPLIMENTARY personalized "Intimacy Evaluation" contact me today!

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Ok, so there seems to be some confusion around what a sex coach does as well as how MY VERSION of tantra training works.

Sex coaching can be conducted over the phone or, as some of my clients prefer, in person. This type of coaching facilitates the client's sexual awareness and fulfillment through healing, education, and empowerment. Sex coaches deal with sex head-on without any blame, shame, or negative judgment so that clients can talk about the things that seem difficult to talk about and get out of shame, guilt and/or fear and into freedom, pleasure, and fulfillment.

Now a little about tantra:While the content of my Tantra Training Program revolves around an ancient spiritual philosophy that, among myriad other aspects to HUMAN BEING-NESS, addresses sexual and erotic practices, I DO NOT engage in said practices with clients. In my role as teacher, I welcome students' authentic self expression and intimate exploration through conversation, however, any and all tantric sex practices are intended to be shared with one's partner of choice. There are no sexual acts performed in any of my services.

I find it increasingly interesting how our culture so narrowly views the topic of sex as AN ACT exclusively. And so if we're talking about IT or exploring IT, we must be offering to have IT, right? ...WRONG. It's this perception, along with the general perception that sex is sinful and dirty (yes, that's the buried puritanical belief left over from the "good" ol' days that's been passed on to all of us in various ways) that is destroying humanity. As human beings, are we not physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, AND sexual BEINGS? Why are we condemning an aspect of our humanity? Why are we making ourselves "wrong" and "bad" and "dirty"? Is it possible that in so doing we cultivate anger, fear, guilt, and shame? What would life be like if we stopped doing this to ourselves and stopped projecting this exceedingly low vibrational energy toward each other and the world?

This is why I study and teach tantra. Its philosophy and evolutionary practices are a guide for living in harmony with true human nature. I have seen and personally experienced the destruction rejecting an integral part of one's self does. I'm here to end the suffering. This is me doing my part to give voice to that which we are shamed into "keeping our mouths shut" about and "keep private and hidden".

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

This article from Rebelle Society is for all my wonderful male clients and friends. I challenge you to read every last word and heed the advice to the letter...to make love stay.

1. Love her fiercely.

Connection is key, vulnerability is bravery, and an open heart breaks down closed souls. We only get one shot at this life, this moment, and this relationship. If you’re blessed enough to find yourself waking up next to the same love over and over and over again, please don’t think of it as blandness. Choose blessedness.

If you find yourself getting too used to the monotony of your daily existence or if the routine is becoming too obscene, change something. Mix it up. Add some spice. Run off and have an adventure, even if it’s just down the road. Go and see something you’ve never seen, even if it’s just across the street. Go and do something you’ve never done, even if it’s just under the sheets.

When you enter a room, let others notice that you notice her first. When you walk next to her, stop and kiss her neck for no good reason other than the fact that she is by your side. When she gets dressed in the morning, smile and appreciate that women are sexier getting dressed than they are getting undressed.

Respect her boundaries, but break down her walls. Crush her fears and free her mind. She’s yours, and it’s up to you to be hers. Be the hero she’s always wanted but never knew she needed.

Be a brazen inspiration. Be a bold revelation. Be a novel innovation. Earn her every day and appreciate her every night. Give her your heart and defend hers at all costs. Be a warrior for love armed with a quiver full of fervor, and love will forever follow you into the hunt.

“Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need.” ~Tom Robbins

***

2. Make her feel beautiful.

This one is pretty simple: Girls want to feel beautiful. Unfortunately, as you probably already recognize, women are bombarded each and every day with images from TV, magazines, Facebook and everywhere else in our culture trying to show them and sell them beauty. “They should look good.” “They need to be put together.” “They must be presented well.”

That is total bullshit. Humans were not born to cover their faces in makeup, did not evolve to spend an hour straightening their hair with expensive machines, and did not arise solely to dress up in high heels, or expensive jewels, or an overpriced dress bought to attend that cocktail party that night with those people that we don’t really know and don’t even care about.

In our society, beauty most often relates to the exterior and although a variety of superficial modifications are now wildly popular, they are all, each of them, a small, dirty, and pathetic lie.

Diamond rings are not beautiful, an open heart is beautiful. New shoes are not beautiful, kindness is beautiful. Vulnerability is beautiful. Compassion, honesty, courage and confidence are the real beautiful things.

Besides, even with all of the makeup, accessories and clothes in the world, you cannot be beautiful if you do not feel beautiful. Similarly, if you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. It really is that simple.

So, take these powerful ideas and go about setting them free into the world. Make your girl feel beautiful. Compliment her soul. Look her in the eyes when you tell her you love her. Hold her hand. Melt her heart. Be her beacon. When she wakes up in the morning, tell her she looks great, and when she laughs or calls you crazy (and she will), mean it when you tell her that you mean it.

Stare into her eyes until she looks away first. Let her soar, and admire her in flight. Open her eyes, heart, hopes and dreams. Write her a note that says she makes you feel lucky, leave her a voicemail that says she makes you feel blessed and make her a card that says she makes you feel beautiful.

After all, beautiful things create beautiful things. So go ahead and be beautiful together, and love will stick around to watch.

“The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.” ~ Tom Robbins

***

3. Make her feel safe.

Girls like being held. They like having arms wrapped around them, simultaneously holding them close and pushing the world away. They enjoy walking with someone that can connect with them, confiding in someone who cares for them and loving someone who adores them. Girls like knowing that they are enough for us, that we are not looking elsewhere for replacements.

Girls want to matter, so let her feel comfortable speaking her heart. When she does, listen. When you listen, understand (not just what is being said, but why).

When you understand, relate and remember. Become fluent in the language she speaks. Encourage her to be the best her possible, even if that means exposing the hard truths that she tries to avoid, the facts that she can no longer ignore.

It’s up to you to make her see that, ultimately, no one else will make her happy but her. It’s up to you to help her help herself. Earn her trust and then keep making deposits, because helping a woman feel safe empowers her to do the things that her heart tells her they need to be done.

When she is not worried about you or her or us, she is free, an uncaged bird, and freedom is a wondrous feeling. Freedom means safety, safety is liberating, and liberation leads to fearlessness.

Without fear, we can focus on the things that matter, the things that set our hearts alight, the dreams that only arise when we are awake.

Catalyzed by safety, dormant ideas awaken, embolden and enliven our life. Compassion, courage and honesty, love’s three younger sisters, will stop by to visit, helping to ensure that our women are as safe and as strong as possible. Why is this important? Because strong women make men strong. And strong men can make love stay.

“When two people meet and fall in love, there’s a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally present then. We tend to feed on that gratuitous magic without striving to make any more. One day we wake up and find that the magic is gone. We hustle to get it back, but by then it’s usually too late, we’ve used it up. What we have to do is work like hell at making additional magic right from the start. It’s hard work, but if we can remember to do it, we greatly improve our chances of making love stay.” ~ Tom Robbins

***

4. Make her feel important.

There’s a lot going on in the world and we are always on alert. We have to deal with jobs, laundry, stress, temptation, money, family, friends and the future.

Distractions pervade. Opportunities proliferate. Obstacles present themselves. We have the internet in our pockets, a gleam in our eyes and no time on our hands. We’re often busy, occasionally stressed, and sometimes overwhelmed. We have much on our minds and to us, normal is nuts.

We have dreams and adventures ahead of us and sorrow and sacrifice behind and yet, through all of the drama and strife, the pains and the panics, the days and nights, love remains. She is there, next to you, urging you on, smiling, and wanting nothing but the best for you because she loves you, she cares about you, and she wants you to be happy.

She is a best friend, mentor and biggest fan all in one. Your life would be worse without her in it. You would miss her if she were gone. She is the best thing in your world. Don’t you ever fucking lose sight of that, and love will have no chance to escape.

Love is addicted to appreciation and awareness. Keep both in abundant supply and love will always be near.

“My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.” ~Tom Robbins

***

5. Fuck her good.

Here’s the thing: Women love sex and they think about it all the time. Although they would probably never admit it, women love getting down and dirty between the sheets, fast and furious on the bathroom floor, and slow and comfortable up against a wall.

If you’re a woman, you’re probably smiling as you read this. I’m sorry, girls, but the secret is out. We know that you talk about sex with your friends, fantasize about foreplay when you’re alone, and dream about the dirty when you are bored at work. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay, in fact.

Sex is important and good sex is a universal human right. So, do your best to be your best, not only in life but also in bed. However, don’t forget that it’s far more than just the physical that matters: the most important sex organ is the brain.

Be giving, with words and touch. Be intimate, with emotions and experience. Be thoughtful, with deeds and desires. Seduce her away from her distractions. Excite her.

Good loving is a necessity and if your girl is not getting it from you, she’ll start looking elsewhere for greener pastures to fertilize. However, if you can make her shake like a freight train, she’ll stick around like a memory. And that’s what it is all about – making love stay.

6. Make her laugh.

Cyndi Lauper was right: Girls just want to have fun.

Have you ever seen a bunch of girls going absolutely buck wild on a dance floor? It’s a sensation, and fun is the feeling. Have you ever witnessed a group of girls laughing so hard that they’re snorting and crying and madly screeching right up close into each others faces? It’s a sanctuary, and fun is the preacher.

Life is hard, and that’s a fact. We all know that sadness comes by to play hide and seek, sorrow randomly stops by for a drink, and occasionally, we get overwhelmed, annoyed, or infuriated. It happens. It’s unavoidable. It’s not her fault.

Being down does not make her a bad person, or a bad partner, or a pain in the ass. Being down does not make her heart any smaller or her beauty any less noticeable. Rather, being down is part of lifting up.

Help lift her up. Help make her see. Teach yourself the powerful and noble truth that here is nothing more beautiful than a smiling soul staring at you with love-filled eyes. Make her smile. Warm her heart. Be silly.

Life is far too serious to take seriously and sometimes the bravest thing you can do is laugh.

So do it, and do it often. Goof around. Be playful. Have fun. Locate your inner child and give him a high five. Find some grass and do some somersaults. Enjoy the ride and love will sit next to you, its head on your shoulder, smiling all the while, for where there is laughter, there is love.

“But do we know how to make love stay? I can’t even think about it. The best I can do is play it day by day.” ~ Tom Robbins

Did we miss anything? Do you have an idea of your own? Let us know. We demand answers, we crave knowledge and we are addicted to realizations.

About Long Distance Love Bombs: Hi, I’m Jeremy, a kindhearted marine biologist with a punk rock spirit and an urge to live the shit out of my life. I am also trying to make kindness cool and the world better than it was yesterday. Join me at Long Distance Love Bombs, on Facebook, on Etsy, and on Pinterest. You can also send some love via email.

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Colette Davenport

Colette is an international speaker and coach + master empath who helps sensitive souls get their magic back. Her new book, Get Your Magic Back: Emotional Mastery for Empaths, teaches her signature 4-step process for ending anxiety, depression, and addiction.