He called me a c*** because I told him it was stupid that he and his ex-girlfriend had joint custody of their dogs.

Now. He should not have called her a c***. But there is not a damned thing wrong with having joint custody with the ex- of the pets. If she carried on and on about how stupid it was to do so, I'd have become, let's say, impatient with her.

I have learned that if I were to start dating again then if I drink beer I get dumped, if I don't drink beer I get dumped, if I make a pass I get dumped, if I don't make a pass I get dumped, if the pass is aggressive I get dumped, if it isn't aggressive I get dumped.

So while you guys are giving out dating sartorial advice, I've got one for you.

I had a big date tonight with a young lady (much younger than me, actually.) I wore gray slacks, a and a black shirt with white stripes. I was going to wear this one green jacket, but my wife said it clashed, so I wore a blue-green tweed jacket.

(My wife is totally cool with my date with this young lady, because that's the kind of relationship we have.)

In any case, my date spend a substantial portion of the evening acting embarrassed that I even exist, and just wanted to dance with her friends.

Is this because the pants, if you look closely at them, have a checked patter which clashes with the striped shirt?

20: My daddy gives me these small little shoves in the small of the back when he wants me to go into rooms. It's like he influences me into rooms from behind. This tiny little irritating push, that makes me want to let him have it in the shin.

I feel like I'm in the target audience of Rookie being a female of a certain age (30ish) but I hate it sio much. Like it's made for the cool girls and the hip girls? (help me I'm Beck's style in Alabama)

I am Canadian! But I'm in Real America. And yes, I'm (insert cute accent here) out and about without my passport and visa but they don't mean MY sort. Which is extra fucked up. Right now I'm just surroned by soroity girls who are dumber and blonder than you'd imagine (also really straight hair) and I was reading a book (Heyer) at the bar and listenign to the awesome music ( Sam Cooke! Beatles! Travellinmg Willburies!) and wishing it was different. But only a couple more months

I feel like my coffee drinking has dropped off quite a bit in the last few months. I used to be perfectly willing to drink a full French press and then the better part of another. Now, I barely finish the last, getting-cold cup of the first brew.

I have admittedly looked at Rookie once but! The eyerolling! I'll look at it again not on my phone but last time it was all fuzzy pictures of some girl in nughtgowns and 'perfectly' arranged bookshelves of nicknacks from the 80's and 70's (before she was born!). Plus then she went to some fasion shows. I would have rokked my eyes at 16

I drink a fair amount of coffee these days. I have drunk both less and more at various points in my life. The coffee I drink is, on average, very good. Alaska is in some respects very much a part of the Pacific Northwest, and its coffee is one example.

But wouldn't the people who named Colombia have called the guy with the boats Colón? And what was Columbus's native language, anyway? More likely to have been some kind of Occitan-ish thing than standard Italian?

(Seriously though one of my more idiotic moments was when I was looking at google maps, and started in seattle, and went north to Vancouver, and then Vancouver Island, and then kept going north, and then was like "whoah, Alaska's, like, right there". Also, all the crab fishermans from the swearing-dudes-in-peril show live in Seattle.)

When I tried to increase my coffee intake last year, all I got was a burning sensation that I assume is acid reflux. I drink coffee when I really need the caffeine (not actually that often), or if I'm doing a lot of driving. Sweetened cold coffee things I have more often.

(i wish I'd been more drunk in the last 4 years. It started well but my friends have left (acedemics are awesome!.). They just played Girl You'll Be A Woman Soon though)

If you're anywhere near Auburn, you could go troll the Mis/es Institute in person. It would probably be unpleasant, but it might result in entertaining stories, and there would be synergies with drinking more.

66: I assume you've come across the coffee-coffeehouse-public sphere-enlightenment connection? It's one of those things that seems to have made the rounds of the academic blogs more than once. Also, I guess there are books.

And what was Columbus's native language, anyway? More likely to have been some kind of Occitan-ish thing than standard Italian?

Columbus never wrote in his native language, which is presumed to have been a Genoese variety of Ligurian (his very name would translate in XVI century Genoese language as Christoffa Corombo pron. IPA: [kriˈʃtɔffa kuˈɹuŋbu]).

I had a conversation with some Canadian friends where I said that part of the reason I moved here was because I wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest and they were all, "northwest?" Completely innocently too. In another tone they could have been making fun of my American-centricness but in context I could have been the one to laugh at them.

You could do worse. I have mentioned that I was once approached in a bar by an attractive woman because I was reading abstruse German philosophy.

But I'd be reading it in translation, because my German sucks, and on my ereader ("Is that a Kindle?" "No, it's like a Kindle, but better, and European; you wouldn't have heard of it."); both of which, I imagine, would diminish the likelihood of what you're talking about happening.

Seriously though one of my more idiotic moments was when I was looking at google maps, and started in seattle, and went north to Vancouver, and then Vancouver Island, and then kept going north, and then was like "whoah, Alaska's, like, right there".

Indeed, since Google Maps uses a Mercator projection, it's actually even closer than it looks. Bellingham to Ketchikan on the ferry takes about a day and a half.

I suspect that x. trapnel's german is actually a lot better than mine in multiple respects.

I rather doubt this. I've been watching "Doctor's Diary: Männer sind die Beste Medizin" online, but kind of hit a wall with the dialog that opens episode 4. I can generally follow Deutschlandfunk and other clearly enunciated, medium-tempo radio stuff, but I can't do either precision or speed, and my vocabulary is tiny, which makes Habermas beyond laborious.

The difficult thing about invading Canada from the west is that eventually they raise their shields and put on cloaking devices after you take Vancouver and Victoria, you realize that everyone else lives in Toronto or Montreal, which are both far the fuck away. And you probably don't speak French.

Stanley, you're a Canadian politician all of a sudden! Alberta would be fine with you not speaking French but then it get awkward (moving east through the provinces).

(Typing on a computer is so much better)

X.Trapnel, I take it back, those people are a little too weird for me. I still remember meeting my first Republican and that was so much beyond what I was used to*.

*Funny story 1, from when I first got here: I ended up going home with this guy from the bar, friend of a friend, who lived in a trailer. Not so bad, I had friends that lived in trailers. But then it turned out that his father was one of those anti-immigrant folks and I was like, "So, that's hot/awkward what with me being foreign" and then he had religious literature in his bathroom, and THEN, when I got in to bed, it turned out he was saving himself for marriage (at 28!) but he was one of those 'everything but...' guys. And I was like, "Sucks to be you" and fell asleep.

That IS a funny story. Though a bit ambiguous: the knowledge that coitus would not be forthcoming deflated your desire entirely (so to speak)? Or did the lad only reveal his teasing nature after everything-but had been performed?

OT: does anyone here know anything about Irish travelers/gypsies? If so, can you explain why a steakhouse in Beverly Hills was taken over by them? I was expecting the usual crowd of rich old guys and skanks, but instead it was way skankier skanks and young guys with incomprehensible accents. I did not know this was something that could be found in the USA. I'm a little scared.

104: It was more of a punishment. My desire was still there but I didn't (as a semi-religious person who has had issues with this) think that God really meant that 'no sex' meant 'everything but'. Bed wasn't really the site for a good ethics conversation (because I was drunk and tired).

I suppose it's not going to be surprising when I say that I have some (not really) friends who teach at Auburn. There, I said it. Is anyone surprised? There's actually a very funny story involving these people, my wife, my former dog, and their former cat. I could tell it, but it's long. And not nearly as funny as "a very funny story" would have you believe. Anyway, sad thing about those trees. Did they make it?

There's actually a very funny story involving these people, my wife, my former dog, and their former cat. I could tell it, but it's long. And not nearly as funny as "a very funny story" would have you believe.

No, seriously, it's the sort of story that rests on knowing a lot of the relationship history. And so to tell it even slightly well would take lots and lots and lots of words. And even then, there wouldn't really be the kind of payoff that one would expect.

111: Tell it! We'll probably run into each other and it's nice to have some unspoken awkwardness. (Not really, I'm only friends with people in two departments (who really should be combined but it's okay because we get an awesome and uncondemned building) and know some stories about vet students).

The trees are present and 'alive'. An email got sent about what to do with the space so I think we're all aware of what's coming next.

105: Have you watched 'My Big Gypsy Wedding' on TLC? That's all I know about them - they're like Jersey Shore but way sluttier dressing (girls) but weirdly conservative and get married super early (both guys and girls) and then live in trailers. My friend also said that they try and scam you by saying they gave you $20 when they really gave you $10.

And bed. Thanks for talking to me when I was drinking alone! I feel like kind of less of a drunk ("I'm not drinking alone! My internet friends are here with me").

I don't really know what's to know here. They are travelling people, sometimes called 'gypsies' but, in fact, distinct from gypsies of Romany descent, and have their own culture and traditions. The UK government recognises them as a distinct ethnic group [although didn't always].

Gypsies and Irish Travellers are quite well-represented in the scrap metal trading industry, so given current commodities prices, it doesn't seem that unlikely that some of them could be doing pretty well financially.

I demand more bullying. perhaps from travelers with incomprehensible accents and menacing attitudes.

also, in re: sassy, you have to remember that magazines aimed at teens are actually read by 9-13 year-olds, while actual teens just read regular nylon or vogue or whatever. my 10-year-old reads teen vogue.

I recall that the Ex got close to a job at Teen Vogue before she left the metropolis. She's probably better off, lacking the hard shell that surviving Conde Nast requires, but at the time she took it badly.

Speaking of women, that girl sent me a few e-mails from her event last night. She asks what my favorite movie is and whether I am a Mac or PC person.

"that girl" meaning lunchy? "a few emails" in that there are more than two? I consider those both highly positive things. I assume you are a PC person but I could be wrong. your favorite movie is: "sullivan's travels." no, wait, it's "sweet smell of success," that's more cynical.

127. Many Travellers are very rich; a great many more are dirt poor. Since they tend not to sink their money into real estate or work in offices downtown, their financial status isn't always obvious to outsiders.

Both my kids went to Auburn, one going on through the vet school. Other than having developed more interest in football than I would ever have thought possible, they seem reasonably sane and even speak coherently most of the time.

Tl;dr: The ruling class has promoted Tim Tebow due to his utility in promoting a reactionary false consciousness. It is also significant (epilogue) that it was the PATRIOTS who beat him. The Patriots, see? Oh, those wily running-dog imperialists!

Lately, I've had an extremely difficult time with "your" vs. "you're" in precisely this case. A contracted "you are" just seems to make more sense. Or is it that one is speaking of the being belonging to the subject of the sentence? "Your being has never been the same since the human be-in." That sort of thing?

Try it with brackets: I approve of (your (being a Mac person)). The phrase in the outer parentheses is the object approved of; the phrase in the inner parentheses is the quality belonging to the person implicit in 'your'.

I am way too angry at a student, for it being the beginning of the semester and the practical fact that he is in two of my classes for the next three months.

Last semester I had him in an extremely difficult class. He did well enough to barely pass, though my opinion was that he must have done outrageous amounts of memorization. Even straight memorization would have some benefit, so, pass.

Now I have him in an easy class and a medium class, and it's clear that his misunderstandings are so deep that he could not have memorized the material last semester. (like his ear for sentence construction is so poor that he couldn't have produced those memorized answers.) I am sure he cheated his ass off.

To top it off, I hate him interpersonally. He carries himself in a cocky/athletic way, sits with arms crossed, etc, and mumbles in an inaudible volume any time he is asked a direct question. Intellectually I know that is probably covering up he anxiety and fear, but good god does it rub me the wrong way.

I need to chill the fuck out so that I can actually help him understand the material over the next two months. Also I think he's super lazy, because he fails quizzes that are based on merely taking factual notes on some reading material. I need to chill the fuck out. Advice?

You could try using humor to break through the tough-guy façade. I find that posture so incredibly off-putting that it makes every other aspect of teaching difficult. But even tough guys like to joke around.

He carries himself in a cocky/athletic way, sits with arms crossed, etc, and mumbles in an inaudible volume any time he is asked a direct question.

Sounds like he's scared shitless of something, but I can understand why it's getting to you. Thing is, you probably won't be able to form a useful working relationship with him unless you have some understanding of why he's so frightened, and what of. Is there any way you can work this through? I'm not suggesting you need to be a father/mother to him, but he's not going to learn anything if he's consumed with worry all his waking hours.

I think that's probably true. My guess would be the (grounded) fear that he is in way over his head, and will not be able to graduate any time soon, and can't afford to take extra semesters. I know he wants to graduate this semester. He transferred in last semester. I can't see him graduating, and he probably hates working on the material since it's wrapped up in so much stress.

Remember, you only have to meet them halfway. They are adults responsible for their own education and emotional balance.

Set a small goal for yourself, like not letting your frustration with him cause you to be harsher with him than with other students. Let him worry about his graduation plans, at least for now, and focus on being fair.

The easy class is the introductory course for majors to take as sophomores. He's at the bottom of that class, but it's a gentle enough class that I think he is capable of passing it.

Should I have a blunt conversation with him and say that graduating this semester is probably impossible? And that he should drop the medium class so that it doesnt sabotage the time he needs to invest in the easy class? Our school is not cheap and he's probably been in school for a while.

I'd also add that there's nothing wrong with liking some students and disliking others. It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad teacher. You do need to be fair, but you don't need to put in more effort with one student out of guilt.

The appeal of Ryan Gosling eludes me. I remember when chicksgirlswomen? ladies were wild about tiny little Colin Farrell, who at least had the advantage of a pleasant accent, but Gosling just seems callow.

My semi-serious relationship advice Flip is that you plan to not inform the blog about your next 2-3 encounters in this relationship. I know this will disappoint Tweety, heebie et al the voyeur brigade, but so be it.

Should I have a blunt conversation with him and say that graduating this semester is probably impossible? And that he should drop the medium class so that it doesnt sabotage the time he needs to invest in the easy class? Our school is not cheap and he's probably been in school for a while.

If you would give this advice to someone you like then I would give it to him. If it's good advice it's an act of caring -- people have to be pragmatic.

Hypothetically, because I trust the hypothetical judgment of the mineshaft, if the goal were to just make the day go the fuck away in a pleasant fog, what are the best choices among the following options: codeine, xanax, lunesta, trazadone, beer, wine, a standard array of hard liquor.

Rosalyn: I suggest selecting one of your softer options and then combining it with trashy entertainment--TV, saying mean things about people online, a long bath, porn--whatever suites your tastes. Your soma holiday should be a comprehensive vacation from reality, not just drug driven.

Rosalynn, take anything said here in good faith with a pinch of salt. Because different drugs have radically different effects on different people and different conditions. If you're in pain, try codeine which is pretty broad spectrum, but it may not work; if alcohol looks good, go with beer or wine, as you can calibrate it more easily than spirits.

Xanax, wine and a hot bath sounds delightful. The "never mix" people are very well-meaning. Benzos and booze do have a synergistic interaction that can make you extremely sleepy, and one could obviously imagine situations where extremely sleepy plus in the bath could be problematic, but the combo has always been a good time for me. So.

Of course, my drug of choice is the Playstation 3. In Arkham City you can visit the alley where Batman's parents were murdered and the game prompts you to press a button to kneel and pay your respects! Then you can go cripple some more supervillain henchpeople. Jesus.

Just saw Red Tails with Newt. I was charmed to recognize Bubbles, who I hadn't been expecting, as the gruff but lovable mechanic. Also, when will fighter pilots learn not to put pictures of their sweethearts in the cockpit with them? There is no surer route to, like Rene, going down in flames.

The notion of using benzos for a pleasant haze seems strange to me. Ativan will calm me down somewhat if I'm very stressed, and might make me slightly sleepy, but nothing remotely resembling intoxication of any sort.

I feel required to admit that, having spent the fall and winter not working out at all, I can no longer do any pullups. I peaked at four, never got the fifth, and am now back working my way up to one. Feh.

The notion of using benzos for a pleasant haze seems strange to me. Ativan will calm me down somewhat if I'm very stressed, and might make me slightly sleepy, but nothing remotely resembling intoxication of any sort.

YMMV, and all. But, for some of us, calmed down is really very pleasant indeed.

Also, when will fighter pilots learn not to put pictures of their sweethearts in the cockpit with them?

I've mentioned this before but, if you appreciate honest, cinematic, pilot melodrama, it's worth watching the opening scene from A Matter Of Life and Death (and, do me a favor, if you do click the link, expand it to full screen and give it your attention) -- A Powell/Pressburger film, David Niven plays the doomed pilot brilliantly.

It's a cliche now, and it probably was even then, but the script for the scene is brilliant. As he's facing death he talking in almost a steam of consciousness (to a female American radio operator played by Kim Hunter). He quotes bits of poetry remembered from school which come to mind, he tells her to send a telegram to his mother, "Tell her I love her. You'll have to write the rest. . . ."

At some point he's indulging in a bit of flirtatiousness and has two good lines which he delivers well. First, he's asked her if she's seeing anybody and then, quickly, says, "no, don't tell me." Then, a couple seconds later he says, "I love you June. You're life, and I'm leaving it." He manages to make the second line just tossed-off so that rather than feeling like an attempt at a mock-heroic style it feels like the epitome of perfect, educated, Britishness (the rest of the movie is not nearly as good as that scene, but it is very much about the complementary strengths of British and American cultures).

A Matter of Life and Death is great, and not just that scene, if you ask me. If you like that theme--reconsideration of one's life after death, that is, not fighter-pilot melodrama--you might also like Ernst Lubitsch's Heaven Can Wait, one of my personal faves.

A Matter of Life and Death is great, and not just that scene, if you ask me.

Oh yes, the entire movie is fun and good (which, based on my limited sample size, is true of all Powell/Pressburger movies) just not as magnificently good as that scene.

reconsideration of one's life after death

To be picky, I'm not sure that's a good description of the movie either -- since, as it turns out, none of the characters who die do reconsider their lives. I'll stand by my comment that it combines predictable (but well executed) personal drama with a affection for and tribute to British and American cultures. Certainly the final trial scene fits that description, but I'm thinking too of the scene where the British airman is waiting in the foyer of heaven and sees the group of GIs come in, joking, and walk over to the Coke machine -- it's affection not satire.

I am not one for baths but am presently enjoying the heck out of a bottle of Chimay Rouge and an open fire. My place has the extremely rare combination of a sixth floor apartment in this very low rise city together with a proper fireplace.

Oh yeah. Some people have a social life. I spent this week pretty bad with pain so made no plans for tonight. In fact I was reasonably good today so I got loads of stuff done. Might have overdone the housework but things were horrible.

Eh, making plans for a Saturday night just because you're supposed to is ... overrated. Too much pressure.

181: Well, I suggested a museum date next week, and she said "Yes!" with a list of museums and a day.

I'm finding this stressful. I mean, museum date is excellent, definitely, but this is sounding all appointment-y and assignment-y. I understand it's only the third date, and maybe New Yorkers just are that way, but shouldn't there be room for just hanging out?

Right, in fairness, I've done that myself: museum? Sure, I think this show here and that show there would be interesting, so what do you think about one of those? But. I was once (warmly and affectionately) chuckled at for seemingly trying to plan everything out. Nerves, is what it was.

Our best museum has dinosaurs. There are couples walking around whenever we go and we go often because of a membership and a five-year-old. I can't imagine why I would ever go except to distract a child.

Our best museum has dinosaurs. There are couples walking around whenever we go and we go often because of a membership and a five-year-old. I can't imagine why I would ever go except to distract a child.

That's a great museum. I spent way more time there than I was intending to, but it was totally worth it.

The fourth half is a lecture hall where I once heard a guy talk for two hours about his idea for how to curate a special art exhibition. I was told it would be a brief talk followed by a reception. That was the last time I ever went to a lecture that I wasn't required to attend.

I'm finding this stressful. I mean, museum date is excellent, definitely, but this is sounding all appointment-y and assignment-y. I understand it's only the third date, and maybe New Yorkers just are that way, but shouldn't there be room for just hanging out?

268: Too stressful. I say Flip and Lunchy should go sailing, or just go to a Sunday afternoon flea market or some such. Maybe a book sale. Maybe a farmer's market, if they have those in New York City. Followed by brunch! I guess a museum is fine too, of course, but jeepers, man, I feel like people are consulting their smartphone calendars every six hours, and it's making me tense.

My first date with French ex was to a museum exhibit on relics. We spent a great deal of time looking at decorated skulls and beautifully arranged bones. It was a good first date, actually.

I was recently at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, and their dinosaur exhibit was terrifying. Animatronic sculptures aren't usually scary, but these had been trained to track your movements. The lighting was dim, and the dinosaurs were very loud. My sister the biologist said that the panic and desire to flee were how you knew your atavistic instincts were still functioning properly.

An opportunity for Flip to smoothly invite her over to see what he can make of all those ingredients they picked up?
But I don't see why a museum isn't a good idea. She is apparently into art, and it's a good opportunity to hang out for an extended time while allowing for both plenty of non-awkward pauses and conversational hooks.
[yes we have farmer's markets, dozens and dozens of them]

I once got laid because of a museum date. I idly commented on a horse painting (not great art but very horsey), "imagine having all that rippling muscle between your thighs". Later she said "that made me look at you in a whole new way".

Unlike a farmers' market, the Met would accommodate an evening date, to the extent one is called for at this stage, as it is open until 9 pm on Fridays and Saturdays. (Plus it has a very good Renaissance portrait show on at the moment.)

Ooh, I want to go to that show at the Met. I should try to schedule an upcoming trip to NJ so I can do that. Except that right now the thought of scheduling any more trips makes me want to scream. Except that I'm too tired to scream.

294: I'm all for free and spontaneous; it's nice. But sometimes people have calendars and schedules because they don't have any other option. Just trying to plan to hang out with my friend (also a single mom) has us currently looking three weeks out.

306: My son and I went to the LAFD museum. Looking at the evolution of the gear was more interesting than I thought it would be, it's very different in 3D and actual size vs pictures in books or on the net.

I've been to the Met a few times during their late hours by myself. The first couple of times it wasn't intentional. The first time I was avoiding the fighting couple I was staying with for as long as I could.

The second time I ended up in a minorly embarrassing situation when I left. I'd had my backpack with me and I checked it when I arrived in the early afternoon. At that time, the cloakroom was very humdrum, routine check in check out of bags, full of people casually dressed, tourists, etc. In the evening, aside from me, it was pretty much all couples, dressed up, retrieving coats only, and every single one of the men - it was always the men in the line around me - tipped the people getting the coats. I had literally no cash on me. I'd emptied my wallet (which wasn't very full in the first place) to pay the "suggested donation" when I arrived. I sheepishly took my backpack and slinked away.

After that, I didn't take a bag with me if I planned to stay late at the Met.

I realize this was directed to teo, and I'd be interested to hear his thoughts if he did see it.

I found Falling Water unsettling in various ways. This wouldn't be an original thought -- but the ceilings are quite low. I have no idea whether cleanup has proceeded in a satisfactory manner since I visited (some 10 or so years ago), but some of the pools were troublingly algae-ridden, and the sense of the horizontal/stagnant overwhelmed the vertical. Things were lying prone rather than rushing or soaring. If that makes sense.

It was still quite beautiful, and I wouldn't go so far as to say that it was claustrophobic, but a person felt the need to ask herself why she might register this rather than the other.

When I went to the London Tube museum (or whatever it's official name is) a few years ago they had some exhibits set up with life-size models. In one of the sets, there was a guy in a tunnel, covered in what appeared to be grime, who turned out to be real. He'd stand very still and then when people stopped to look at the exhibit scene, he'd suddenly engage them in conversation. It was surprising, but hilarious and informative.

I found Falling Water unsettling in various ways. This wouldn't be an original thought -- but the ceilings are quite low. I have no idea whether cleanup has proceeded in a satisfactory manner since I visited (some 10 or so years ago), but some of the pools were troublingly algae-ridden, and the sense of the horizontal/stagnant overwhelmed the vertical. Things were lying prone rather than rushing or soaring. If that makes sense.

It sounds like they've cleaned it up quite a bit if that was the case then, but this is sort of an inherent problem with the combination of "build on top of a waterfall" and Wright's design philosophy. The low ceilings and small bedrooms (by today's standards) in his houses are notorious, and they create significant preservation challenges for the ones that are in upscale suburbs where people no longer want to live in houses like that. That isn't an issue for Fallingwater, of course, now that it's a tourist attraction, but the environmental conditions create their own preservation challenges.

I *love* museum dates. One of the best first dates of my life was at a museum.

I've also had several middling-to-mediocre first dates at museums, which for my money is way less stress-inducing than a bad dinner date. There's stuff to look at and talk about, there's only so many corridors you can wander down, and when it's over --- hey, at least you got to see a museum.

To be honest, that's part of why I like more structured early dates too. Just hanging out, IME, really only works well if you are both coming from a similar set of expectations about courtesy and comfort.

Otherwise, you're stuck trying to guess whether the other person really means it when they say they are fine walking two miles in the cold, or really aren't hungry yet, or really aren't getting sunburned, or whatever. Exhausting if both parties aren't coming from the same flavor of Ask/Guess culture.

279: That was my initial reaction, too, but I rewatched it a couple weeks later and totally changed my tune. It didn't hurt that by that time I had seen a number of other Lubitsch movies that I enjoyed--Trouble in Paradise, Design for Living, The Shop around the Corner. I bet you'd like Design for Living in particular, Natilo.

My mother claims that a friend was for a while caretaker at Falling Water and suffered from indoors mosquitoes. (I'm sure I've said this on Unfogged before.) Anyways, I love Frank Lloyd Wright, but dude, unpreventable indoor mosquitoes are a serious design flaw.

I like 274. Farmer's market followed by cooking some stuff at someone's house. Especially showing up to the market with an interesting recipe in mind. It's structured enough to keep you having something to do, and it's physical enough to allow for some early-stage corporeal getting-to-know-you. It's early enough in the day to not be high pressure, but close enough to a couch if some stream builds up.

If you feel it's too early on to go over someone's house, then listen to that, of course. But if you'd like to do it, there's no reason a third date is too early to ask.

315: Yes. Understood about the preservation problems, and about Wright's approach to space in the first place.

I remain interested in our relatively newfound love affair with large(r) interior spaces. When I've happened to live in homes with higher ceilings, I confess I love it. I certainly don't need cathedral ceilings -- they're refreshing in many ways -- I can't make out why or how contemporary persons would or should feel physically cramped in a smaller setting. I want to make some vague sounds about feng shui. Airflow. But that doesn't really make any sense.

317: you're stuck trying to guess whether the other person really means it

IMX it's never good to play that game. Take them at their word and find out what's real and what isn't at the beginning. That "Read my mind and I'll be pissed if you get it wrong" game is a slow and painful death to a relationship.

325: Yes, absolutely -- that's why I specified first/early dates. Even if you're never going to see the person again (because, for instance, they refuse to express a preference) you still have to get through that date.

319: Shamefully, I have seen Heaven Can Wait, alone among the films of Lubitsch. Design for Living does sound good, although the Wikipedia entry makes it sound like everyone at the time thought it was a pale shadow of the Broadway show.

Speaking of plays-become-films, before seeing the poster for the film and reading up on it last night, I had never heard of The Woman In Black, despite its being the second-longest running play in the West End, after The Mousetrap. Good thing I checked it out before it came up at one of the many snooty cocktail parties I attend with the theater set.

Saw Chronicle today. It was quite good, I thought, and they packed a lot of plot into 83 minutes. It would be interesting to see a version without the CGI, that focused more on the psychological drama.

323: I don't get the appeal of cathedral and/or vaulted ceilings. High ceilings are fine.

I've always been a Wright fan, but (a) he wasn't as original as his cult of fans like to suggest, and (b) per Paolo Soleri, he sounds like he was quite an asshole, personally, not just in a "don't question the great artiste" way either.

I think Fallingwater is a flat-out great work of art. I didn't used to think that but then I visited it. It's a really profound combination of the American longing to find a home in nature and to improve/overwhelm/conquer nature, somehow strikes a perfect aesthetic balance between those incompatible desires. (Not necessarily a perfect lifestyle balance if you had to deal with the practicalities of living there, but that's another question). One of the greatest works of architecture I've ever seen. Like all great architecture, you have to actually go there to judge it.

Going back to Rosalynn's question, it's not a haze, but some nice simply done lamb, accompanied by a Barbera and B-W era Ellington, followed by more Barbera plus trashy SFF and a couple POrgy & Bess via Miles tunes, followed by more Barbera and just listening to Mingus do Porkpie Hat and the What Love off the Antibes album with Dolphy = contented calm.

193: xanax, tradazone, and coke & bourbon. I mean, coca-cola. you guys thought I was going to say all of them, didn't you? the mere facts that rosalynn has been able to hang onto these drugs all this time (from different scrips) and doesn't have her own strong opinion, indicates she probably has a low tolerance. also, codeine makes me nauseous, and I ain't the only one. I would take it to stave off the pangs of withdrawal but not otherwise. in the past.

However, if you're not a bodybuilding competitor and NOT injured to the point of being unable to do kipping pullups, then it's probably for your own good to sophisticate your movement quality since aging is the process of losing complexity.

I have maybe 12/13-foot ceilings upstairs and 10-ft downstairs, just like at my grandma's in savannah. it's traditional in hot climates so the hot air can escape through vents near the ceiling. I love it, it makes me feel at home, since I loved her place so much.

I've realized recently that the house I'm building in indonesia has 5m ceilings at the very center. fuck me, that's tall. I'm not complaining or anything, but it's evidence of how much my "build a 3-bedroom cottage first and get the lay of the land, and then build some primo shit later" plan has failed due to my having commissioned a goddamn royal palace built out of teak. I realize some people have real problems. #1stworldproblemsinthe3rdworld

this is the opposite of my getting para-typhoid fever in narnia, which was 3rdworldproblemsinthe1stworld

342: Codeine (opiates in general) makes me nauseous. But the formulation combined with promethezine fixes that. Can't say anything in the list in 193 has ever really done it for me, except the xanax which, god bless it, does exactly what it is supposed to do. I have the Lunesta and trazadone for insomnia and have concluded they don't do shit. Took Lunesta the past two nights and managed a whopping 5 hours each. I am so fucking tired, to the point I am starting to lose my shit.

Oversharing, I know. See? That's why they use sleep deprivation to make people confess.

The canonical Glasgow tenement usually has high ceilings, and bay windows. For something with a reputation earlier in the century as slum housing, they are really lovely buildings to live in. I do miss the vertical space living down south.

349: sleep deprivation is real. I've gotten two nights out of the past three of basically sleeping though the night (7ish hours) after way too long of up to 25 wakeups and it's making me realize the extent to which I can't function or be a decent person without sufficient sleep. It makes everything hurt. And I can't medicate any of it away because I need to be able to hear what wakes me up. It's awful. (And Lee can't/won't pick up slack, so that's not an option. She sleeps hard and doesn't hear them and can't see in the dark, plus sometimes Alex, who's the main offender, insists on me and ends up screaming more if she goes in. And I wake up anyway if she's getting out of bed, so it wouldn't save me time. Not sure why this parenthetical is even here except to say I'm not blaming her and I know this will be over soon and I need it to be because I'm a mess.)

If 348.1 is a first world problem I'm pretty sure all the rest of us here are plugging along valorously in the third world.

My moon laser is malfunctioning #1stworldproblems
The colonial subjects are restive of late #1stworldproblems
I can't for the life of me get good miniature giraffes out of these cut-rate black hat molecular geneticists #1stworldproblems

I think the Flip-Pater came close to buying a house very near Frank Lloyd Wright's Theodore Baird house in Amherst several years ago. The almost-bought place was lovely in itself, with lots of hilly land and even a stream, but needed too much expensive work for the asking price.

There's a spot downstream from Fallingwater from which it looks marvellous, the perfect example of overwhelming, conquering nature. Any other architect would have build at that spot, providing a view of the falls from the house. Wright built over the falls, so that the perfect view is of his creation.

I can't imagine living in Fallingwater, though. It's dated. It's built for servants, but modern servants wouldn't accept the servants quarters. (There must have been awkwardness when one of the family met a servant carrying a load of bedding in those narrow passageways; Wright was perfectly capable of separating servants and family -- he did so in the Hyde Park house that the University now owns that I can't remember the name of -- but didn't here.) And, of course, it nearly fell down.

The travelers were not visibly violent, but took over 3/4 of a very fancy BH restaurant. Apparently they only eat very well done meat, only pay in cash, and come into town every few months. It was fun watching the bafflement of the old rich dudes and their mates who made up most of the remaining 1/4.

I'm kind of depressed to realize I just don't have a favorite movie. I enjoy watching lots of movies with my kids - including Airplane! - but I just can't think of any that I could say I love. I went to Hangover and Avatar to have an excuse to go out with the guys, but nah. I just don't see movies I relate to personally right now. Not sure if it's me or movies.

But this is really not true with books - I have lots of recent and older favorites clamoring in my head right now! I think if I faced this question in dating, I really would feel like Lenny with his stinky books trying to date a sexy young college grad who'd majored in image with a minor in self esteem.