What Are Mars and Venus Doing in My Bedroom?

In your horoscope, Mars is the planet of lust, sexuality, high passions and war. Male or female, your wild side is a gift of Mars, while Venus bestows romantic love and beauty and happily-ever-afters. That said, I guess I don’t have to tell you that while both planets greatly impact your love life, they do so with vastly different energies and consequences. Astrology can give you a leg up on seeing beyond the bliss of great sex, to the bottom line of whatever it is you really want in the game of love.

A funny and generally sensible friend who runs a large university pointed out to me recently that we women need all the help we can get when it comes to assessing relationships and their long-term potential. “Ever notice how even smart women’s I.Q.s go down 60 points when they’re in love?” she asked. “My science department tells me it’s because Mother Nature stacked the deck against us. Women produce huge amounts of a brain-altering hormone called oxytocin when we have an orgasm and men don’t. So men think they’ve just had great sex and we think we’ve just fallen in love!”

After I stopped laughing, it occurred to me that astrology is a terrific way to combat this temporary disability. Mars and Venus in our charts can pretty well define whether the wild ride we’re on is a delightful momentary insanity or might have genuine “keeper” potential.

You probably know your Sun Sign, but while such knowledge is important for self-understanding, the Sun is only one of ten planets in your birth chart and each one of them impacts a different section of your life. Mars and Venus get the fun job of monitoring lust and love.

While Mars is masculine and Venus is feminine in the classic sense, we each embody both male and female characteristics. Your X-rated fantasies and behavior, your sexual arousal and needs, even your style of lovemaking are in Mars’s wheelhouse. Your romantic, love-and-devotion dreams are the bailiwick of Venus. For example: If Mars rules your chart, fidelity probably won’t be high on your priority list, but world-class sex may be. If Venus rules, then romance, home and hearth are probably among your priorities. The right balance can lead to a happy and long-term love life. The wrong one…not so much.

While Mars and Venus aren’t the only pieces in the love puzzle, understanding their potent love/lust energies can give you a leg up on figuring out where the comfortable compatibilities lie between you and your significant other, and where the obvious bred-in-the-bone conflicts are accidents waiting to happen.

To find out where your Mars and Venus are in your chart and what energetic patterns they’re generating, you’ll need a compatibility chart done by a pro. An electronic version of your two charts can be had for very little money at any of a number of astrology sites or you can invest in a proper reading with the astrologer of your choice. All you need is birth date, time (yes, it is critical) and place.

In the meantime, here’s a quick read on your current intimate relationships:

If your Venus is conjunct, sextile or trine your partner’s Venus

This is great news! Your natures are congenial, compatible, and your affections have genuine staying power. You’re probably good for the long haul!

If your Venus is square or opposing your partner’s Venus

There’s a strong link between you, but you express it in differing fashions and that can be disconcerting. Your sensual tastes may not always be the same either. You may want to tread carefully here.

If your Mars is conjunct, sextile or trine your Partner’s Mars

Your lust levels, earthy desires and sexual energies are spot on for each other. You go, girl!

If your Venus is conjunct your partner’s Mars (or vice versa)

You’re very attracted to each other, but not completely ga-ga that you can’t see straight. This can be a good long-term match.

This is an intense and powerful relationship but despite the exciting flow of energies that are so seductive, the relationship will most likely be difficult and unpredictable. You’ll have to decide it it’s worth the struggle.

Just remember each chart-combo is intensely individual…you and your lover are a composite of all ten planets and their complex relationships. A couple may have great simpatico in bed, but in politics, argument ensues. Or they may have boring sex but spectacular compatibility about child rearing and tastes in art. You might not like this answer, but in the heavens, this is also true –it is the whole package that counts.