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Tuesday, 12 October 2010

How Not To: Be A Domestic Goddess

This is a follow up to my successful post about How Not To Cook Like My Daddy Cooks. Today I am once again demonstrating my ability to not do well in the kitchen (though sometimes I do get it right!)

So today I will show you how cause chaos making a birthday cake....it starts well then goes down hill....

Step one bake cake

The easy part is to take a Morrisons Eat Smart cake mix and follow the instructions on the back.. After 15-20 minutes of cooking time you get some lovely looking cakes:

Unlike me just remember that putting them straight from the tins onto the wire trays the hot cake sticks to the metal...

Decorating

Once the cakes are cooled and children home from school send the kids to wash their hands so they can ice the cake. Meanwhile start preparing the icing by sifting the icing sugar and adding boiling water.. Just as you reach the point of no return listen as your daughter shouts that your son has filled his pants "with poo that looks really squishy".

Abandon the icing and spend next 10 minutes cleaning up son with the poo in pants... After thoroughly cleaning hands return to kitchen to try and complete cake.

Rescue icing by adding more hot water. Turn around to see half naked son banging his hands on top of the cakes rather vigourously. Ask son to leave room and put something on his bottom...

Spread jam on bottom layer and place top layer over it. Ask now properly dressed son to spread icing on top. Ask son to not lick the spatula before he has finished icing the cake. Ask son to be more gentle spreading icing as he is taking chunks out of top of cake.

Get children to sprinkle decorations on the top:

Spot kids taking sneaky dibs of sprinkles with their fingers:

Give up as kids lick every icing coated implement in sight:

Thank goodness this is my cake only to be consumed by family! Note to parents of kids coming on Sunday I will do the decorating without help of the children ;-)