Minutiae of my every day since 2004.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

It took me three weeks before I had finally realized that my pleasurable Christmas break days are over. The transition was gradual: the first two weeks saw me lagging behind, perhaps sagging in idleness at times, my thoughts filled with the after-effects of too much rest I had acquired at home. Making my lab reports, among other academic matters that needed careful studying, somehow created that sense of being in UP, of being far away from home, but it never managed to erase the aftertaste of fun and the familiar scent of home that still clung on to me.

You could say I was jolted out, with a shock comparable to the numbing feeling one gets after coming into contact with a live electric wire. Just today I had realized that I've awakened from that deep Christmas slumber--that I should be studying again, that I should be spending sleepless nights in front of the computer to beat deadlines, that I must always be standing on my own two feet, especially now that nobody prepares my breakfasts and washes my clothes.

But I write this to remind myself that I should not be consumed by drudgery, since the monster called Daily Routine can easily swallow a prey who does not enjoy what he's doing. Schoolwork can be tiring, yes, and there are those times when I'd rather bump my heat onto the cold, hard walls than to finish what I have to do. The temptation to complain about my academic struggles, my sleeplessness, and my lack of colored HP ink can be overpowering. The urge to "eat, drink, and be merry" can sometimes make me turn my head in the wrong direction. And the seemingly innocuous habit of thinking myself worthy of the good things I receive often transforms my perspective into something cloudy, such that I fail to see the Lord's providence in all the things I do.

The harder thing to do now--the time when I'm saturated with busy-ness and work--is to rejoice. It's hard, yes, especially when things don't seem to go my way. But when I come to think of it, I have every reason to have joy in my heart: I have my God, the source of my supreme joy, who loves and keeps me. I should not do things for the sake of just doing them, lest I fall into the traps of Routine. But I must, as always, endeavor to do things "heartily not as unto men but as unto God" (Colossians 3:23). After all, I exist for His greater glory.

Gone are my vacation days, indeed. But despite the looming academic requirements I have to accomlish, the many roles I need to perform in my ministries, I look forward to that day, to that marvelous transition that this world will necessarily undergo, when I would see Jesus. I would probably fall prostrate before Him, my head and my body lying on the ground, with ceaseless tears welling from my eyes in thanksgiving and worship. It will take me an eternity to realize everything He has done for me--a worm, a wretched sinner whom He had saved.TAGGED AS: bottled