im a newly registered member so bear with me, meth has destroyed our family for 10 yrs my ex is an addict and inmate our daughter was just diagnosed with bi-polar help

I'm also a newly registered member of this family. My family has been going through hell for approx. 6 yrs now. My 26 yr old son has just been incarcerated. They busted him for poss with intent to distribute meth. He is also bi-polar. That prosecuting att gen said he was gonna make an example out of him because he was taking advantage of the people that was addicted to it and buying from him. I've got news for him!!! My son was just as addicted if not more at that time and was selling to be able to get it. The way they have this fed system i just don't understand. I've been in tears for a week now. He had no paperwork or whatever he needed to show he wasn't a snitch but other inmates kept threatening to hurt him. He went to the shu on his on after he had been there for 6 days. Someone help me understand everything. PLEASE.

My husband is a meth addict plus diagnosed as a psycho schizophrenic, he has been in the prison system before and we were married while he was at a work release. We've been married 7yrs things were good till we moved back to our home town within 3yrs he was back in the game and this time he introduced me to it well the worst happened wrong crowd and guess what he recently pulled chain to A&R for a new stint in the prison system this time got 7yrs, out of all this I've been clean for 7mths. I'm staying buy his side regardless and praying that he'll stay clean this time I'm worried, scared, and hoping I have what it takes to make it. I have had lots of family support, but it is very hard when mental illness and meth are mixed. I am glad that prison talk is here it got me through last time and I'm glad to be here again. But if anyone knows of ways that can help us I would appreciate it, we are in Oklahoma and I have been there from the beginning this time, last time he had already served 3yrs before we got together and it has been trying. I thank everyone who has any kind of advice.

__________________
Alena

Last edited by hillbillybobs; 06-28-2012 at 12:31 AM..
Reason: left out a word

I am a recovering meth addict. That was a hard addiction to kick. I even caught a felony case after my boyfriend was sent to jail/prison. I have been clean for a year and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Meth causes mental issues. Sometimes its only when you are high and some people they just go out there and never come back. I am for waiting my boyfriend to get out of prison as well. we only have seven more months. THe last two years we were together before prison we used together. I am realistically exspecting its going to be/could be an issue. I have decided my soberity is more important than my relationship with him. We share a daughter and im not giving up my daughter for meth. So just make sure with his previous history that you are prepared for that. He cant get clean for you and you cant get clean for him. You have to get clean for you. The one thing I found so beneficial for getting off meth was people. Just stay away from people you used with, knew. or use now even though you may not know them. Meth heads like to share and its like spreading a disease. So think good and hard about what you would do the day he got out and the subject came back up because you used together and it became a way of your life. That is a really hard habit to break. I know im scared

Thats really HARD!!! yeah people are scared to ask a lot of times. I dont think its really that they dont want to know...more like they dont know what to say...they think they are doing us a favor by not bringing the subject up to remind us...whether its the death of a loved one, a loved one that serving time...or even if your sick and been diagnosed with something terrible... so i bring the subject up myself... I say i got a letter from Gokoko today and go on to tell them what he's been up too...schooling projects, etc. thats me though, sometimes i even enjoy it when they squirm some ...
anyways, i hope your son is doing well...and dont forget you have family here now that want you to share, understand and are right beside you, 100%, 24/7

take good care...

Funny, you like to make them squirm some. I'm still squirming myself so I would probably just fall apart on them. Maybe I will get there someday. Right now my daughter is trying to avoid Pruson time with rehab. Scitzo-affective, bi-polar with a method habit. Don't know how I missed it but had no Idea until her 4 arrests in a 30 day period. Now in State Jail for a year. My family sounds understanding but no one will talk. Including me.

Hello There, Thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry that the family is like that. Sadly SOME of my family are like that. I avoid that kind of atmosphere because I cannot handle negativity. It drags me down. My husband is deaf and is in prison, has been for 2 years now...he has 5 more to go. Right now we are working on our friendship...he said he doesn't want relationship because of what I did 4 years ago and he rather to focus on the time inside and not worry about outside the prison. this really devastates me but I am not giving up. I'm a christian and I know God will help my marriage!!! What I am asking for form Prison-Talk is support AND education...especially education. My husband has bipolar and is addicted to Meth. hes 32...has been addicted since his early teen years. We cannot talk on phone unless its VIDEOPHONE (special phone for deaf). We do visit online weekly. What I need from yall is to help me understand why my husband behaves the way he is and how I can be loving and supportive toward him. I do not want to make it harder than it already is.

(and also how can I join the chat as I tried to, it asked for my username and password and denied me when I entered it. I tried several times. oh boo.)

The Following User Says Thank You to BeautyBeast8376 For This Useful Post:

Hello There, Thanks for sharing your story. I am so sorry that the family is like that. Sadly SOME of my family are like that. I avoid that kind of atmosphere because I cannot handle negativity. It drags me down. My husband is deaf and is in prison, has been for 2 years now...he has 5 more to go. Right now we are working on our friendship...he said he doesn't want relationship because of what I did 4 years ago and he rather to focus on the time inside and not worry about outside the prison. this really devastates me but I am not giving up. I'm a christian and I know God will help my marriage!!! What I am asking for form Prison-Talk is support AND education...especially education. My husband has bipolar and is addicted to Meth. hes 32...has been addicted since his early teen years. We cannot talk on phone unless its VIDEOPHONE (special phone for deaf). We do visit online weekly. What I need from yall is to help me understand why my husband behaves the way he is and how I can be loving and supportive toward him. I do not want to make it harder than it already is.

(and also how can I join the chat as I tried to, it asked for my username and password and denied me when I entered it. I tried several times. oh boo.)

The chat function on PTO is currently unavailable. That is why you couldn't get in.

I would highly suggest that you find a good Al-Anon meeting or a good Nar-Anon meeting somewhere near you to learn how to deal with yourself and his addiction.

Thanks for letting me know about AL-ANON....I have attended a few and it has been hard to lip read what was being said because I am deaf....they do have interpreters but most of the time the interpreters would not show up. its so frustrating.

The Following User Says Thank You to BeautyBeast8376 For This Useful Post:

Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for what is happening with your marriage. Addiction is very difficult to overcome, so I hope his focus during his time inside includes working on not using meth when he is released.

Thanks for letting me know about AL-ANON....I have attended a few and it has been hard to lip read what was being said because I am deaf....they do have interpreters but most of the time the interpreters would not show up. its so frustrating.

Might want to try again - there are Al Anon meetings online. There are also DBSA meetings online (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance). Most in person meetings of DBSA are held in community rooms at local hospitals, so getting a translator should be a bit easier. You might also want to get in touch with your local branch of NAMI for information and personal support.

You may want to understand what his bipolar profile is (bipolar 1, 2, rapid cycling, etc). You'll want to understand the medication he's taking, the dosage, what the side effects are (especially the ones he's experiencing), and how it's controlling his symptoms. Making sure that he has continuity of care and doesn't go cold turkey off psych meds will make the transition home easier.

You need to find appropriate services in your area - DBSA and NAMI will help with the psych stuff. Al Anon will help with the drug rehab stuff. You really need to work your own program so that you can help him, not enable his disease and mental illness.

I have no idea what you did 4 years before that might have offended him, but that's something you need to work out. getting your own psychological counseling can be very helpful, and if you need marriage counseling, then you can at least get started on your end, and maybe coordinate something with him so he can get some stuff dealt with, especially if he's angry with you for good reason.

I've been in an on again/off again relationship for 20 years with my ex who is ADHD/bi-polar/meth addict. I've tried my hardest to stay strong and stick by his side...We have a 16 year old daughter together that has given up hope on her dad. I love this man like no other. He did 86 months...was home & living the family life with us for 5 months, until he decided that was enough. He left one night & was gone for a month until I received that dreaded collect call. He ended up with another drug charge and got 24 months. He has been nothing but mean and disrespectful to me since he got sentenced. I tried to give him his space & the other day I got a letter from him. It was one of the most disrespectful, degrading letters I have EVER read in my life.He said things that I have NEVER heard him say to me & NEVER thought he'd say to me. I feel so hurt and taken advantage of. I've been the only one that has stuck by his side through all of this & this is the way he is going to treat me?? the letter before this, he told me that every time he thinks about me he gets angry. I really don't know what I've done so bad to him, to make him dislike me so much...but I will say one thing, I have learned a few things in this past month. I have to remove myself from his negative ways of thinking. It just kills me to see him this way. I know I can't fix him & I have to continue on with life for the sake of our daughter and me. Love him...but I gotta go thanks for letting me vent....

Hi, I can understand the ADHD, if you have time please research this! ADHD causes this type of behavior when it is full blown. Go to Google and put in ADHD and marriage, do a little reading and you will find yourself going OMG that's me, OMG that's him! It will help you understand how his ADD mind works. You must not take these things personal, he cannot help much of it and if he is not on meds, then it gets worse! Most prisons will not give these guys the appropriate medications. This is why these guys "self-medicate" and find themselves back in the prison system.

I hope this gives you some comfort, I totally understand where you are. You are not alone! pm me if you need someone to talk to......

Hi, I can understand the ADHD, if you have time please research this! ADHD causes this type of behavior when it is full blown. Go to Google and put in ADHD and marriage, do a little reading and you will find yourself going OMG that's me, OMG that's him! It will help you understand how his ADD mind works. You must not take these things personal, he cannot help much of it and if he is not on meds, then it gets worse! Most prisons will not give these guys the appropriate medications. This is why these guys "self-medicate" and find themselves back in the prison system.

I hope this gives you some comfort, I totally understand where you are. You are not alone! pm me if you need someone to talk to......

Rhonda

The poster you're addressing hasn't been seen since January, 2012, and her post is from 2011. If you look at her stats, you'll see her LO is her ex.

I'd also advise you look into the symptoms of meth and bipolar, and how people respond to LO when their problems are acute. "self-medication" is not limited to ADD people. I'd also make sure that your addict has decent insurance so that he can afford his drugs when he gets out.