Don Juan
By
Lord Byron
Canto XIV

The sort of thing to turn a young man's head, Or make a Werter of him in the end.No wonder then a purer soul should dread This sort of chaste liaison for a friend;It were much better to be wed or dead, Than wear a heart a woman loves to rend.'T is best to pause, and think, ere you rush on,If that a 'bonne fortune' be really 'bonne.'

And first, in the o'erflowing of her heart, Which really knew or thought it knew no guile,She call'd her husband now and then apart, And bade him counsel Juan. With a smileLord Henry heard her plans of artless art To wean Don Juan from the siren's wile;And answer'd, like a statesman or a prophet,In such guise that she could make nothing of it.

Firstly, he said, 'he never interfered In any body's business but the king's:'Next, that 'he never judged from what appear'd, Without strong reason, of those sort of things:'Thirdly, that 'Juan had more brain than beard, And was not to be held in leading strings;'And fourthly, what need hardly be said twice,'That good but rarely came from good advice.'

And, therefore, doubtless to approve the truth Of the last axiom, he advised his spouseTo leave the parties to themselves, forsooth — At least as far as bienseance allows:That time would temper Juan's faults of youth; That young men rarely made monastic vows;That opposition only more attaches — But here a messenger brought in despatches:

And being of the council call'd 'the Privy,' Lord Henry walk'd into his cabinet,To furnish matter for some future Livy To tell how he reduced the nation's debt;And if their full contents I do not give ye, It is because I do not know them yet;But I shall add them in a brief appendix,To come between mine epic and its index.

But ere he went, he added a slight hint, Another gentle common-place or two,Such as are coin'd in conversation's mint, And pass, for want of better, though not new:Then broke his packet, to see what was in 't, And having casually glanced it through,Retired; and, as went out, calmly kiss'd her,Less like a young wife than an aged sister.

He was a cold, good, honourable man, Proud of his birth, and proud of every thing;A goodly spirit for a state divan, A figure fit to walk before a king;Tall, stately, form'd to lead the courtly van On birthdays, glorious with a star and string;The very model of a chamberlain — And such I mean to make him when I reign.

But there was something wanting on the whole — I don't know what, and therefore cannot tell — Which pretty women — the sweet souls! — call soul. Certes it was not body; he was wellProportion'd, as a poplar or a pole, A handsome man, that human miracle;And in each circumstance of love or warHad still preserved his perpendicular.

Still there was something wanting, as I 've said — That undefinable 'Je ne scais quoi,'Which, for what I know, may of yore have led To Homer's Iliad, since it drew to TroyThe Greek Eve, Helen, from the Spartan's bed; Though on the whole, no doubt, the Dardan boyWas much inferior to King Menelaus: — But thus it is some women will betray us.

There is an awkward thing which much perplexes, Unless like wise Tiresias we had provedBy turns the difference of the several sexes; Neither can show quite how they would be loved.The sensual for a short time but connects us, The sentimental boasts to be unmoved;But both together form a kind of centaur,Upon whose back 't is better not to venture.

A something all-sufficient for the heart Is that for which the sex are always seeking:But how to fill up that same vacant part? There lies the rub — and this they are but weak in.Frail mariners afloat without a chart, They run before the wind through high seas breaking;And when they have made the shore through every shock,'T is odd, or odds, it may turn out a rock.

There is a flower call'd 'Love in Idleness,' For which see Shakspeare's everblooming garden; — I will not make his great description less, And beg his British godship's humble pardon,If in my extremity of rhyme's distress, I touch a single leaf where he is warden; — But though the flower is different, with the FrenchOr Swiss Rousseau, cry 'Voila la Pervenche!'