A group of Manchester teens, on a crime spree of breaking into vans and stealing tools, tried the handle on the wrong van over the weekend and were confronted by a squad of armed SAS (Special Air Service) troops on a surveillance mission. Not gonna lie, I would've shot the kids.

A source said: "The lads each had a machine gun and a side pistol with live ammunition to make it realistic. They saw these scrotes coming for some time.

"They didn't want to move for fear of ruining the exercise and hoped the gang would pass them by.

"The lads decided they would teach them a lesson if they did get into their van, which is exactly what happened.

With the team's cover blown, the exercise was cancelled.

I hope we all learned a valuable lesson today. "Not to break into unmarked vans?" Yes -- because? "Because there might be a squad of highly-trained killers on the other side?" Correct, or -- OR -- a guy with a lollipop stuck to his genitals.
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...Is that a cream soda Dum Dum?