We left for Bali (for real) on Friday, on a flight with Batavia Air that was supposed to take off around noon. Unfortunately, it was delayed for about 30 minutes. And it was pretty low budget and rough – I actually think there was about a 20% chance we were going to die. Fortunately, we met a very friendly fellow Canadian who now lives in Bali and was heading home for the weekend. He set us up with a car and driver in the city and recommended a few great places to visit. Vacation 180!

We landed and checked into our hotel, which was a villa in the area called Seminyak, just north of the airport. It was very quiet and friendly, and we got a lovely room. We spent the rest of Friday swimming. On Saturday, our driver took us to the shopping area of Seminyak – I hadn’t seen so many white people in months! It was very touristy. We bought a few trinkets and sun gear and headed off to the beach for the day.

Everyone said to stay away from Kuta Beach, which is famous for both being phenomenally busy, as well as home to some of the world’s most ridiculously stereotypical beach bums. So of course we stayed far, far away. We instead asked our driver to take us “to a nice beach”, and he took us to one south of the airport in Jimbaran. It was really nice, mostly because there were very few people there – we felt as though we almost had the whole beach to ourselves. The kids loved jumping over the waves that crashed into the shore. But the beach experience was somewhat diminished by the time we were ready to leave, as some garbage washed up on shore as we were packing up. It might have been more surprising if it weren’t for every single person who has ever been to Bali who told us that garbage on the beaches was pretty normal.

On Sunday, we decided to spend the day in Ubud, which is the cultural capital of Bali. It’s also where the book/movie Eat Pray Love takes place, so apparently it had has a big jump in tourism in the past few years. Not really our thing. But it was lovely. On the way, our driver took us to a Batik factory, where, although it was mostly a tourist trap, you could see the real way of hand-painting and dyeing Batik fabric. We also stopped at a silver factory, where a roomful of workers hand-molded and polished silver jewellery using ore from Kalimantan.

Once we arrived in Ubud itself, we visited Monkey Forest, which, unsurprisingly, was full of monkeys. J liked them at first, but then one tried to jump on her and she cried the rest of the way, “Bad scratchy monkeys!” Besides the monkeys, there were some beautiful old temples and statues in a river gully within the forest. It was a pretty little jewel of a place.

For lunch, we visited the famous Ibu Oka’s to try the “babi guling” – roasted suckling pig. It was featured on Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations. It was delicious! And the waitresses loved J and kept doing her hair and trying to feed her – this is common here. I think we’re the tourist attraction most of the time.

After lunch we toured the old royal palace and had our fill of fancy carvings and beautiful statues. Our favourite thing about these temples is that the people (or animals) in those carvings were dressed in saris. And I don’t mean that they were carved to look like they were wearing saris, I mean that the locals actually went around and physically wrapped saris around the statues. It was cute.

After an afternoon of wandering around the shops and bazaars, we headed home and passed away the night watching movies and ordering room service. We spent Monday morning by the pool again before flying home. Vacation achievement!

For domestic flights, you just walk out onto the tarmac. And the engines were already on. He was very excited.

The main area of the hotel room. It was a large living space, with a kids’ bed in one wing and a sitting area in the other, with a kitchen and large bathroom off to the side. I think it was bigger than our first apartment.

The kids’ bed. B kept sneaking in there to lie down in the nook.

A beautiful beach all to ourselves? Yes, please!

Ready for the sun and the waves.

There were these tiny holes all over the place – and out of them came little crabs! I took this one for you, Ian. Can you see the tiny crab?

Digging for treasure. Or maybe crabs.

Here comes a big one!

It was beautiful like this all afternoon. Until some garbage floated in, then we left.

Obligatory selfie to prove I was there too!

Fresh coconut. Enak sekali!

J enjoying breakfast at the hotel. We were on vacation, so she got chocolate sprinkles on pancakes every morning.

On our way to Ubud for the day. A rare shot of LittleB looking sweet.

Real-life bats in a belfry!

At the batik factory, watching the ladies weave cloth.

These are wax prints for the batik patterns. The painters draw on the fabric with wax then dye it, kind of like Ukranian easter eggs.

The hot wax used for painting the batik.

Using the wax to draw a picture on a tourist t-shirt.

We got to see the silversmiths working close-up.

This is basically a sweat shop, yes.

Here we are, heading into Monkey Forest in Ubud. There was a lot of forest and a lot of monkeys, as you would expect.

Something meta about a monkey on a monkey statue.

Crossing a snake bridge in the forest.

Ancient river flowing through the forest. It was very peaceful down here.

This is about as far as we got, because I was a bit nervous about the kids walking along the skinny walkway.

Monkey statue. So friendly!

Relief wall. I wish I knew more about this, but I don’t. There were no guides or signs.

Monkey family.

Another monkey.

Fountains in the Monkey Forest.

LittleB in the Monkey Forest. We almost forgot him there a few times, he seemed so right at home.

Welcome to Ibu Oka’s! The best roasted suckling pig in town.

B enjoying his Bintang at Ibu Oka’s. Bring on the pig!

B ordered the spicy plate.

It was delicious!!

Wall carvings at the Raja’s palace.

Temple at the Raja’s palace. I love the intricate ceilings and carvings.

The boys. J refused to be in this picture. Note the sarongs on the statues!

Elaborate stone doorway in the Raja’s palace.

More palace.

Beautiful relief and doorway at the palace.

This was the tourist spot for photos.

Gargoyle on the wall.

Apparently Bali is known for penis worshiping, and they seem to have realized that somehow there’s a market for things like Penis Bottlecap openers, penis key rings, penis napkin holders, penis utensils, and toy cars shaped like penises (swear to god). In short, if you like penises, Bali is your kind of place.

In front of the hotel. We are just heading out for some ice cream before dinner!

The kids kept playing “chess” – which basically involved them taking turns smashing their pieces into each others’ and then someone arbitrarily declared themselves the winner. Honestly, that’s pretty much what chess seems like to me!

Pool area of the hotel. There was a bottom half, too, with a waterfall and swim-up bar.

Last cocktail on the last day. It was a good one!

On the plane ride home, I know it’s hard to see, but this is a smoking volcano!