Tag archive for ‘Saudi divorce’

Lavish divorce parties and gifts ring alarm bells

Divorce parties are often completed with a funny-themed cake to initiate a new beginning. (Courtesy: Social media)

By NADIA AL-FAWAZ
ArabNews.com

“I’m honored to invite you to my divorce party.” This is the type of invitation now being sent out by increasing numbers of women wanting to celebrate the end of their marriages.

Just like weddings or graduation parties, these events are being held at the fanciest halls, with large amounts of money spent on hosting friends and family. The guests are also obliged to turn up with expensive gifts for the happy woman.

This is a new phenomenon in Saudi society, says Tariq Habib, a professor and psychiatrist, and assistant secretary general of the Union of Arab Psychiatrists.

Divorce clearly results in feelings of sadness and happiness, he said.
Habib, however, said that parents should take their children’s feelings into consideration.

“If these parties negatively influence the children socially and psychologically, then they should be canceled,” he said. “But if the couple don’t have any children then no one can prevent the woman from expressing her joy or having a celebration.”

He said women may want to celebrate because they have left a failed marriage or show their ex-husbands that they do not care about them.

Suhaila Zain Al-Abideen, a member of the National Society for Human Rights, said celebrations have been triggered by the difficulty women face in getting divorced.

“Women living under injustice, humiliation and misery are the ones who will celebrate. It is not unreasonable that an absolutely happy person celebrates her divorce under these circumstances,” Al-Abideen said.

Al-Abideen does not believe that children would be affected if their mothers are happy.

“Although separations affect children, they would be happy to see their mothers happy, especially if their fathers had abused their mothers,” she said.

Mohammad Al-Saidi, professor of Islamic law at Umm Al-Qura University, said God hates divorce, as confirmed in Hadith, and that people should not celebrate a social tragedy even if they are happy about it.

Al-Saidi urged the media to raise concerns about these parties, and to encourage people not to attend them. “This will cause future tragedies,” he said.

Sahar Rajjab, a certified physiologist and family counselor at the Arab Council, said Saudi nationals should not imitate the West by having these parties, even if they are extremely angry.

“The divorce parties are increasing in an alarming rate,” she said.

“How can guests celebrate women divorcing when they had previously congratulated them on their wedding days?”

Rajab said there is an industry growing around divorce parties, with cake and sweet shops starting to make products for these occasions. This is an unwelcome development, she said.

Social specialist Haifa Safouk said that some women celebrate simply to seek attention.

“There are many reasons for this behavior, but mostly it is because such women are ignorant and not intellectually mature.”

She said some women celebrate because society does not show them any compassion, so it is a way of releasing their frustration and negative feelings.

In addition, the guests invited to these events turn up because they want to support these divorcees. This is not the proper way to show support, she said.

Man divorces wife for not closing car door

Islam forbids Muslims from divorcing out of anger or for petty reasons, but this injunction did not stop a Saudi man from leaving his wife because she refused to close their car door, according to recent reports in local media and on social networking sites.

The couple reportedly went out on a picnic and when they returned home, the wife got out, helped their children to do so and then moved to go into their house.

Her husband then called out for her to close the door, but she refused, saying he should do so because he was closer to it. Incensed at her reply, the husband reportedly said: “You are forbidden to me and should not enter my home if you do not close the door.”

The woman then reportedly left and returned to her father’s house. Many people have tried to reconcile the couple, but the woman has rejected all attempts, saying that she does not want to remain married to such an “irresponsible” man

Arab News spoke to well-known Saudi Sheikh Asim Al-Hakim on the matter, who said that the divorce is valid based on the man’s actions.

Al-Hakim explained that there are direct and indirect divorces. Direct divorce can occur even if a person jokes about it. Indirect divorce is based on intent.

“Intention is very important in such cases, but such behavior is irresponsible.” He said Islam has given men a great deal of responsibility to act correctly under these circumstances. “So a man should be very careful about his actions,” he said.

He said a judge can issue a final verdict in such cases. He warned that people should not act hastily and in anger.

According to a study conducted by Aleqtesadiah newspaper, there are 2.5 divorce cases for every 1,000 men above the age of 15.

There were 30,000 divorces in 2012, averaging 82 a day, or three an hour. In earlier reports, the Ministry of Economy and Planning confirmed that while courts and marriage officials register around 70,000 marriage contracts annually, they also process more than 13,000 divorces.
The study also showed that the Kingdom ranked second among Gulf Cooperation Council countries in terms of divorces after Bahrain, where the rate is 2.7 for every 1,000 people. The same study showed an upward trend in divorce cases in 2012 compared with 2010, when there were 75 a day.