29 February 2008

During my absence, the wonderfully talented Sojourner reached out and asked if I'd collaborated with him again and with the success of our first collaboration; Distant Love, I could not say no. Here it is...

Love Lost Soughtby Sojourner & BluJewel

Gone it seems are the days

When my call inspired your gasp

You were once so impressed

By the sparest thoughts of my mind

Now heavy laden pauses stifle

The gentle words that die on the cusp of forming

Each time they try to penetrate

The fortress that has become you

Electricity used to arc

At the slightest touch from my hand

Now the quickening of your heartbeat

Has settled into a stroll

Unlike a moth; the attraction has waned from the flame

Preserving what's left of my wings

To fly away to safer ground

Resting what remains of my still beating heart

Life has long since extinguished

The one we hoped build

The rising tide of differences

Has drowned love's crashing waves

In the wake of loves demise

Time waits to heal all wounds

Wondering how this love was everywhere

And yet became so elusive

But still I remember Everest highs

The laughter and joy unspeakable

And as I lament love lost

Still sit and think, "What if?"

Silent thoughts echo

And unite in a prayer

Resting on the precipice

Of sunrises filled with maybes

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Please be sure to check out Sojourners new playground called Duets where you can find more fine poems with other talented bloggers.

25 February 2008

Something (cooties) broke into the Jewelry store and I'm not feeling well right now, so I'm gonna take a couple days off in order to take care of myself. I'll be back with my usual and unusual shenanigens once I'm feeling better.

21 February 2008

Okay, so as you can tell sex has been the topic of conversation for my past couple posts and today's will be no exception.

I overheard a couple young guys talking and one said to the other, "she looks like she could fuck!" I was like WTF? How does one "look like they could fuck?" In all of my years of being sexually active, I wasn't aware that there was a 'look' that came with it. I pondered this for my drive home from work and I still haven't come up with an answer.

So, my dear readers, I need your help with this one. Is there really a 'look'? I know I've checked guys out and been like "I wonder if he can fuck?" But never; not once have I ever concluded that he "looked like he could fuck". I know people look at how someone dances and concludes that that person would probably be good in bed, but even that isn't always indicative. Or is it?

What visual thing gives someone the impression of "fuckability"? Is it their walk; their attributes; their confidence? I'm SOS (stuck on stupid) with this one, so I need your help. Don, I know you've got something to say on this, so please don't let me down; I'm counting on you.

20 February 2008

FidelityThe unified bond of two peopleThe intense feelings that emanateOrgasmsThe yearningMultiple positionsThe willingness to let goBeing pleasured beyond one’s beliefHearing your name called during the actSize

Dislikes…

InfidelityBeing usedIt not being good as it was made out to beSTDsWanting to, but waitingWhen self-indulgence doesn’t cut itSex being used as a means to get bills paidMen who THINK their dicks are bigger than they really areMinute menWhen it’s bad and being asked how it was

19 February 2008

So, without going into the specifics (time, date, months, etc) I'm currently celibate. It was a choice I made after the end of my last relationship where I felt I owed it to myself to be by myself and grow. It's been a wonderful opportunity to purge the old and negative habits I'd grown accumstomed to and it allowed me to truly learn to love myself more than just saying I did. I closed doors on people and things that were of no benefit to my life; I dug deeper into my spiritual knowledge; and stayed on the path that would yeild favorable results. It was important for me to not allow myself to be distracted by temporary gratification or the instant fulfilment of Mr. Right Now and simply wait and allow God to send me the "he" that was worthy of me.

The journey has been great and I've prided myself on maintaining my strength and committment to myself. Trust and believe it's not an easy feat when we live in a world where instant fulfilment is the norm; or where women sell themselves out for their next electric bill payment; or where the sancitity of fidelity has become almost passe. With my history (story for another day), it's for the most part pretty easy to not settle for a quick roll in the sack, but I will admit there have been times where I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it. It was on those times I had to pray a little harder, think a little deeper, and continue to tell myself that I'm a woman worthy to hold myself in high regard no matter what. It's not easy refraining when you already know how good the act can be, but there is so much more I want than just the act. I want the intimacy and closeness that precedes and intercedes the act. Those are the things that can and will sustain a relationship when sex doesn't. Poll many couples married for many years and they'll tell you that being able to feel close to their partner, be held, kissed or caressed is extremely important. Anyone can have sex, but everyone can't or doesn't know how to be intimate.

Over the past months, my sex drive has been hitting some all time highs and I feel like I'm on Kinga Ka at Six Flags *lol*, but still I refrain. I can not and will not allow myself to compromise or be compromised; I'm just to damn valuable for that. Being celibate is my choice; however, it's not without the blues when you see couples together, or hear that song that does something to you, or you're just friggin horny. But I must continue on. When the person and time is right, I'll reunite with the pleasures of the flesh, but in the mean time and in between times, I'll continue on knowing that it's not the journey, but the destination.

14 February 2008

I didn't write these, but they're worth sharing. This is my Valentine's Day "card" to all of you as the words contain the best love of all...HIS!

1. Faith is the ability not to panic.2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.3. As a child of God, prayer is like calling home everyday.4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not bent out of shape.5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still, so He can untangle the knot.6. Do the math; count your blessings.7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.8. Dear God: I have a problem; it's me!9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.10. Laugh everyday; it's like inner jogging.11. The most important things in your home are the people.12. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.13. There is no happiness. The door is always open.14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.18. It's alright to sit on yur pity pot every now an dagain. Just be sure to flush when you're done.19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and rish-taking. Learn from the turtle; it only makes progress when you stick out your neck.20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are; while your repuation is merely what others think you are.

07 February 2008

I'm feeling very transitory right now. My mind is all over the place and I feel like a fish out of water gasping for air. I can't pinpoint it to any one thing, which doesn't help in trying to resolve this mess, but that's how it goes sometimes I guess.

I do; however, have some random ish I'd like to get off my chest...

With all the politricking going on right now, has this nation really come to a viable conclusion on who is truly the best candidate for president?

I'm really pissed at the people who did not vote.

I want to see social/recreational outlets for children built.

Can we get some affordable housing?

Why am I seeing so many fat kids and their parents not giving a damn about their kids health and well being?

At my recent GYN appointment, I saw 5 girls between 15 and 19 pregnant, on welfare, barely being able to complete forms without assistance and acting like it's the best thing since sliced bread?

Can someone tell The Sandman to make some really good love to me so I can sleep at night.

05 February 2008

God desires to take you into new places in your life. He wants to take you to deeper places in your walk with Him, and He wants to take you into higher places of blessing in your life. Are you ready to go to places that you’ve never been before? So many people today get stuck in a rut because they don’t want to get out of their comfort zone. They want to stay with what they know because it’s comfortable. But in order for you to reach your full potential, you have to be willing to step out into the unknown. You won’t ever walk on water until you step out of the boat! We all have areas we can rise higher in. Open your heart today and be ready to step out into the unknown. Trust that the Lord will guide and order your every step. Begin to expect that the unexpected is on the way. Be ready to step out into new places. As you approach your day with faith and expectancy, you will move forward in the abundant life He has for you!

These are very important words to remember and live by.I received this while preparing this post and it coincides in so many ways.

I saw The Bucket List last Thursday and I must say it was by far one of the best and most amazing movies I’ve seen in a long time.I will admit there were some things I didn’t like; however, they weren’t enough to take away from the movie.

For those who aren’t familiar, The Bucket List is a story about two men; one wealthy and one average man whom a paired up in the same hospital room to receive treatment for their respective cancers.Naturally, they had a hard time hitting it off at first, but in time they became friends and The Bucket List was formed when the average man’s treatment was no longer working and he was given only six months left to live.So, you’re asking, “what is The Bucket List?”The Bucket List is a list of things you want to do before you die.The average man initiated the list and the wealthy man added to it and was able to facilitate the activities that were costly.I won’t continue about the movie because I really want you to go out and see it for yourselves.I will; however, tell you why we all need to live in order to appreciate our deaths because it’s extremely important that we not take our lives for granted and live it to its fullest potential.

While we all need to work hard, save money, and do all the things that we’re told to do as adults; we still need to LIVE.We need to take chances; explore all our options, and stop being afraid of our weakness or fears.Life is not promised and can be taken away at any time; on any day.What sense does it make to work your entire life and never take a real vacation?Why have countless hours of sick leave; never take it and then be forced to exhaust it and more for medical treatments because you’ve worked yourself into sickness?How about the money spent on material things instead of more tangible things.There are so many things that we do that have no memorable value or benefit to our lives because we’re too caught up in other things to enjoy or appreciate our lives.Or we rush through those times/moments we’re supposed to be spending with our friends/families because our minds are elsewhere.I think we need to slow down, evaluate our lives, and start placing real value on the real things.It’s time to take a proactive role and stop being passengers in our own lives.There is no time like the present to live.

I implore each of you to not wait until you're sick or near death to create your own Bucket List; do it and begin living it now! It doesn’t matter if the things you list are big or small or how much money you have; it matters that you do them. It’s time to make the dash between your birth and death count for something. Leave an imprint on those around you so when your eulogy is delivered, it’s more than just words; it’s substance.

01 February 2008

Well, it's been a while since I've posted a poem seeing as my other spot, The SaPhyre Lounge has been closed, but I was offered the opportunity to collaborare with a fantastic writer Sojourner G and could not turn it down. It was both an honor and a privilege to write with someone I admire for his own writing and spiritual messages. The italicized lines are the ones I wrote.