The People With The Reigns Have No Brains

Let’s not get it twist­ed, Roman Reigns is a guy with a great build, fan­tas­tic lin­eage and, be­lieve it or not, can ac­tu­al­ly cut a de­cent pro­mo when not script­ed (as we know, his pro­mos are, putting it nice­ly, hit or miss.) So the man him­self is not the main prob­lem. The leech that is suck­ing away any po­ten­tial is WWE cre­ative. This means you, Road Dogg. You re­al­ly should give your spot up for some­one more… out­side the box.

First off, re­form­ing The Shield while the crowd still loathed him was a huge mis­take. Having a team of two faces with prop­er re­ac­tions and one face who gets the crowd re­ac­tion of a ma­jor heel is in­ter­est­ing on pa­per. However, try­ing to force Roman’s face sta­tus among The Shield as op­posed to on his own just feels aw­ful. It’s like not hav­ing the square fit in the cir­cle so you try to cram it in the bloody tri­an­gle. Odds on Kevin Dunn con­stant­ly blow­ing smoke up Vinny Mac’s ass, es­pe­cial­ly when it comes to keep­ing on the face Reigns track any­one? If we still had the Kiss My Ass Club, there would un­doubt­ed­ly be vis­i­ble proof.

Being part of the group again some­what helps the face sta­tus. Simultaneously, Vince and com­pa­ny con­tin­ue to pry our mouths open and shove him down our throats which in turn takes a mas­sive shit all over any face cred­i­bil­i­ty The Shield should give him. When the crowd cheers loud­er for two‐thirds of the group be­ing ac­com­pa­nied by Kurt Angle, in­stead of when Reigns is in there, per­haps that should set off an alarm or two.

For the last two to three years, Reigns has been John Cena lite, just twice as forced. There are only two mem­o­rable (and for good rea­son) things that I’ve seen Reigns in over the past cou­ple years. One be­ing his am­bu­lance match with Braun Strowman at Great Balls of Fire 2017. You know, where the “face” at­tempt­ed to mur­der Braun by way of back­ing an am­bu­lance into a semi. Very face and PG, Vince… The oth­er be­ing the fol­low­ing month in his back and forth pro­mo with Cena on August 28th.

When Vince thinks of new ways to push a face Roman

Most book­ing sna­fus re­sult in tal­ent falling through the cracks, but in this in­stance it’s go­ing in the re­verse. Fortunately, as of writ­ing this, Reigns seems to be less in­vin­ci­ble af­ter los­ing his Intercontinental ti­tle to The Miz on Raw. That aside, Roman has been pushed on a round trip to the moon and back. Meanwhile the dam­age to his rep­u­ta­tion amongst the fans from the forced push­es is ir­repara­ble.

Creative at WWE has com­plete­ly ru­ined any chance Reigns had of suc­cess­ful­ly be­ing a face and more im­por­tant­ly, be­ing ac­cept­ed as one. I’m not go­ing to waste my time wait­ing for a good Reigns heel turn. Look at all the time we wast­ed, hop­ing and wait­ing with bat­ed breath for a Cena heel turn. Vince, Road Dogg, fel­low rat bas­tards in­volved in the face/heel turns… I tip my hat to your spec­tac­u­lar­ly aw­ful de­ci­sions and wast­ed op­por­tu­ni­ties.

How would you have booked the Big Dawg in a per­fect world? Let us know down be­low or on Twitter!

Nathan Pulham

A frost­back by birth, English by blood. Pun mag­is­ter and in­ter­me­di­ate shoop­er with a se­ri­ous pas­sion for the wrestling busi­ness and a love of red hot takes.On Playstation un­der Juicer873 (ref­er­ence to that old rac­ing game Juiced 2: Hot Import Nights. Yes, it was that bloody good.) Uploads his best match­es from WWE video games to YouTube for the shits, gig­gles and pos­ter­i­ty and is found on Steam un­der Slotter Otter. On Twitter @Slotter_Otter, where he shit­posts mer­ci­less­ly (the Pinochet memes are semi‐ironic.. Possibly?) Don’t touch his tea.