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Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

What is Benicio del Toro up to?

No, we’re not talking about the dodgy Wolfman movie. The issue is, rather, that deeply strange commercial for Magnum Gold choc-ices. You may have first noticed the campaign in its billboard form. Mr del Toro and his (more anon) co-star …

Donald Clarke

Donald

Fri, Jun 4, 2010, 17:44

No, we’re not talking about the dodgy Wolfman movie. The issue is, rather, that deeply strange commercial for Magnum Gold choc-ices. You may have first noticed the campaign in its billboard form. Mr del Toro and his (more anon) co-star wielded the tasty confection above a legend that declaimed “The best chocolate we’ve ever stolen” (or words to that effect). It was a bit puzzling. You don’t tend to see Oscar-winning actors in choc-ice commercials. Okay, you might not be all that surprised to spot Brenda Fricker brandishing a Screwball or Jim Broadbent recommending a Wibbly Wobbly Wonder, but del Toro is still quite a hot, trendy actor. Isn’t he? Famously, American movie stars usually only do these sorts of campaigns in Japan or Korea.

The subsequent television commercial did nothing to clarify matters.

Jesus. This thing is just so hilariously pleased with itself. Why, it’s as if the guy who made it thinks he’s Bryan Singer or something. What’s that you say? The director is Bryan Singer. Well, it’s not like he’s made a genuinely great film in 15 years. So, I suppose we really shouldn’t be all that surprised.

The really shocker here is that Benicio del Toro has allowed himself to be cast against an actress who is — let’s be honest — little more than a celebrity double. This really couldn’t be more demeaning. The real del Toro is, apparently, prepared to share equal billing with an Angelina Jolie lookalike. Imagine if the situations were reversed. “Hey Angie. We’ve got you this really good choc-ice commercial,” the agent raves. “Your co-star will either be somebody who looks a little bit like George Clooney or some bloke who — if you close one eye — might easily be mistaken for Jason Statham. Hello? Hello?”

So the commercial’s a disgrace? Well, yes. But, you know what? Madagascar vanilla encased in a caramel-flavoured coating? Ever since I last saw the advertisement I’ve been longing to try one of these things. They sound really, really nice. Now, I’m not saying they could ever be the equal of a Frosty, but…