Who in the world came up with the premise of two kung fu masters overcoming terrible physical disabilities and defeating the forces of an evil warlord (at times not even single handed)? Rhetorical question in a country with what must be a generous supply of opiates I'm sure.

Ling Chang Kung is a merciless ruler, disposing of his retainers' limbs at the slightest provocation and using his superior fighting skills to smash any opposition. Apparently born with a ferrous lump in his back, the warlord is an amazing example of "hunch fu." That would be using your metallic hunchback to block attacks and even deliver devastating counter strikes! Hehehehehe!

Wait! It gets even better! Our two heroes are overcoming their recent pruning by Ling Chang Kung and are accomplished warriors in their own right. Under the careful physical therapy of the Master (who spends his off time folded up inside of wicker baskets) they have perfected handicap fu! Kung Suh Ching and Lee Ho are truly amazing, just watching the latter twirl around a bamboo staff without any arms is impressive, but then he starts kicking the crap out of bad guys!

With A Pao's help the pair steal the Eight Jade Horses from Ling Chang Kung. With these ancient figurines they hope to learn unbeatable kung fu, which will be needed after their hiding place is discovered. Maybe I'm being a bit charitable in saying "hiding place," since we are talking about pre-contact China. More like their hut is out in the middle of nowhere, so who is going to find them anyway?

The fight scenes are completely over the top, as you would expect with the styles previously described, and the dubbed dialog is standard for the genre (which means silly). All of this makes for a great deal of mindless fun which should offend your sensibilities, but be impossible not to chuckle during.

Things I Learned From This Movie:

Having both your arms cut off produces very little blood.

A removed arm will leave a, well um, heck - it's a nub.

Dramatic music doesn't go well with close-ups of rice.

Evil warlords tend to be deformed, have a hunchback, or sport some weird thing under the eye - that sort of stuff.

For those familiar with it - watch for this - when the cripples defeat Black and White, and Black gets the hat (how do you kill someone with a hat, anyway?) put on him, at one point it starts to come off, but he, the clever bastard, puts it back on....

Saw this one with a buddy of mine, and we were quite amazed to learn that the Crippled Masters really ARE crippled. Certainly a film to track down. If you like this one kids, check out "One-Armed Swordsman".

This is the BEST movie I've ever seen! I've watched "The Crippled Masters" MANY times! I LOVE it! I just wish I could find out where I can buy it! BTW, one of my all-time favorite lines in this movie is where the wise old man dude is by himself and Mr. Scarface shows up:

Old Dirty Bastard- "Most people sleep in a bed, but I sleep in a wicker basket!"

Anyone realize why they were crippled? The guy with no arms was considered a traitor to the warlord. The guy with crippled legs was considered lower, so he had no real standing(ba-da-da!). Great film in all, but Old Dirty Bastard, not the rapper but the Wu Tang martial arts master, is not in it. Anybody interested in more martial arts films should rent, or buy, the Wu Tang film collection. 14-16 films in all. One film that deserves to be here is Lord of the Wu Tang, starring Jet Li. It's weird, but cool to watch.

i enjoyed seeing them torture those two guys before they crippled them. if i were the legless guy i'd be bumping my ass alot more often than he did. or, if i were the "evil scarred" man, i'd take full advantage of the fact that those two hotties pretty much couldn't do anything when i first handicapped them.

At first, I felt bad...you know laughing at the misfortunes of others and all; but as the movie progressed, I began to realize that these men were not to be pitied, but feared. In all honesty they do kick-a**. I also immensly enjoyed the old man in a basket shot. I have not passed a basket without looking inside of it since I saw this movie. P.S bushy eyebrows are sexy.

This movie made my life turn into hell. Every night I wake up, because there are a hundred crippled students at my window. They all want to learn my famous 'NO ARMS & LEGS STYLE". I can't go to the window to tell them I've stopped teaching this style, because I've got no arms and legs to go to the window. I"ve got no partner like in the movie.(I'm from Holland, now you must die, WHOOOAAAAAA!)13-03-00