From boot camp to booties: Training made dad a better parent

CHAD STORLIE

Published: August 9, 2014;Last modified: April 1, 2015 05:04PM

You’ve seen me around.

I’m the dad that is struggling with the stroller in the parking lot while I manhandle three stuffed animals, a snack bag, and a very smelly diaper. Or maybe you’ve fled from me in museums as my boys and I move down towards the Stegosaurus exhibit. Either way, I look very different today than I did a few years earlier.

A few years ago, I was a Special Forces Officer, a Green Beret, working in combat zones with foreign military forces in Iraq, Bosnia, and other locations around the globe to secure American interests. Then, I looked cool. I was loaded with weapons, ammunition, a distinctive camo uniform with no patches — a sure spec ops give away that fooled no one — and body armor giving briefings to important people .

Today, I’m a dad with a mission to raise great little people, and I love it.

Contrary to what most of you think, the military is actually great preparation to being a parent with young kids. In fact, my best parenting lessons came from the US Army’s Ranger School that I attended back in the 1990’s at Fort Benning, Ga. Ranger School is a 68-day pain fest where you get one meal a day, four hours of sleep (if you are lucky), and walk for miles carrying an 80 pound rucksack with no end in sight.

Ranger School students are taught how to patrol, conduct ambushes, swim through swamps, live in the desert, parachute and descend rapidly from helicopters on large ropes. Ranger School teaches you more than anything else how to lead and survive in combat.

After Ranger School, students go on to some of the US Army’s most combat-proven units: The Special Forces, the Ranger Regiment and the 82nd Airborne Division, to name only a few.

But most important to me today, Ranger School taught me how to be a great dad.

Lesson 1: You have to learn to be happy — anywhere under any conditions. One of the delights of Ranger School was that you were always wet from the swamps, cold from the Georgia Mountains, and tired – you had to learn to perform no matter how you felt and put on a smile and laugh. You can never control the elements, but you could control how you felt and make yourself happy.

You can teach this to kids in small steps. I remember coming home from a trip and we were stuck in security. My eldest, sensing my frustration said, “Don’t worry, Dad. We are almost through and then I’ll get you a coffee. Everything will be OK.”

It’s great when this principle of happiness is taught back to you.

Lesson 2: Packing snacks is like packing ammunition — always pack more than you think you need. In Ranger School, there is a realistic simulation for everything. Think you want more explosives to help knock out an enemy radar site? Here is 30 pounds of simulated C4 for you to carry 12 miles through the woods at 2 a.m. You can jeopardize the entire mission if you do not have it, and in the end you take 35 pounds just to be sure.

For kids, snacks help immeasurably throughout the day. Snacks are cost effective, you can find healthy options, and they are right there – you don’t have to find a store. Just like ammunition, I always bring more; you never know when you will encounter horses that need some carrots.

Lesson 3 – Get lots of physical activity throughout the day. The lesson from Ranger School is that fitness is a must — you have to be able to run, to ruck (walk miles with an 80 pound pack and a smile), and climb.

Kids love energetic fitness. Parks, hills, swimming, walks in the woods, and sports practices are great ways for kids to expend energy and learn the importance of fitness.

Lesson 4 – Planning is everyone’s job. At Ranger School, every mission begins with a detailed plan, called an Operations Order. In the Operations Order, everyone learns the entire plan: what the timeline is, who performs what combat tasks, and why the mission is vital. We all knew about Commander’s Intent, which is what a successful mission will achieve.

Kids love to know what the plan for the day will be. A good plan makes everyone accountable.

But at the same time, also knowing when to change a plan for some new adventure or an unexpected museum visit makes the day an adventure. All kids love an adventure.

Lesson 5 – Treat and train everyone as a leader. At Ranger School, classes are a mix of officers, sergeants and enlisted, but everyone will lead everyone else regardless of their rank. Anyone, at a moment’s notice, could be placed in a leadership position.

Kids can start developing as leaders from a very young age. The toddler can fill the water bottles and carry them to the car. The eldest can check the diaper bag. The middle child can ask everyone’s snack preference. Kids love tasks and they love to help; giving them small and then larger leadership challenges makes them engaged, happy, and wanting to help more.

Every time I see an old uniform with my “Ranger” tab on it, I smile and remember my days at good old Fort Benning. However, as I raise my kids to be great people and I strive to be the best parent and husband that I can be, I remember and apply all those great lessons my Ranger Instructors taught me so many years ago.

My experiences at the U.S. Army Ranger School has made me a better parent.

Chad Storlie, a retired Army Special Forces officer, is the author of two books applying military skills to business. He is an adjunct lecturer of marketing at Creighton University and Bellevue University in Omaha, Neb.