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A little SUMthing about growing up, making mistakes and happy endings.

A Little Help With Homesickness…

June 20, 2014

The first day of camp is an emotionally driven day filled with bittersweet, mixed feelings. Excitement and anxiety are literally playing Tug of War in the stomach of almost every parent and camper.

The kids going off to day camp, that’s a big step—but the kids leaving for overnight camp—that’s hard core. I imagine it’s very similar to sending a kid off to college, but with bathing suits and Mad Libs. I also imagine that I, too, would feel my breakfast on its way up if I had to put my kid on a bus, kiss her good-bye and hope for the best.

But I don’t, because I’m at camp. So, while the parents who had to say good-bye are all sad and crying, I’m jumping up and down waiting for the busses to pull up and the kids to come piling out.

“Welcome to camp, yo!!!!

On one hand, I’m the last person any parent would want to listen to because how can I possibly understand what they’re going through? I’m still with my kids. I don’t have to let them go. I live at camp and when my kids are ready to go into cabins, I‘ll still be here. (Too bad for them!!)

On the other hand, I’m a good person to speak on the subject because I know what’s happening on the camp end. I know that it’s totally and completely normal for kids to feel homesick. (It’s actually the ones who don’t miss home that I worry about.)

The thing is, it’s OK to take a break from home. It’s good to change your scenery and lifestyle. It’s good to push yourself, try new things and meet new people. And, most importantly, it’s good to learn that you can have fun and enjoy what you’re doing WHILE still loving and missing the people you’re not with.

It just takes a minute or two to let go and give in.

I know it’s hard when you walk by your little boy’s room. I know you miss your little girl’s smile. There’s a void in your heart and in your home, I get that.

But they’re OK. The first few nights will be hard, for both of you, but in the end, it’s all going to be OK. Camp is a good thing. The fun, the action, the memories, the drama—it’s all at camp.

And camp isn’t just good for your kids, it’s good for you too. You get to do your summer thing, whatever that may be.

My summer thing is at camp because my husband is a camp director. He sleeps with his eyes open. I’m not kidding. I’m all “blah blah blah” thinking he’s paying attention to me, but really he’s asleep.I can’t get mad though because his job is stressful. Thankfully, he’s good behind the curtain, because I’m on the other side, the fun side.

And that’s lucky for you because over the years, I have learned a few things on that side that you might find beneficial:

If you are writing a letter to a new camper, try to refrain from letting him know what he’s missing at home. He’s at camp so the likelihood of you doing something more fun than what he’s doing is small, BUT just in case he’s feeling homesick, it’s best to leave any big plans out of your letters. Ask some questions instead:

–How are your counselors? Do they make you brush your teeth? Did anyone short sheet your bed?

–What activities did you sign up for? Arts and Crafts? Yoga? High Ropes Course? Trapeze? Water skiing? Archery? Archery seems cool! Maybe you’ll be on Game of Thrones one day!

–Are you in a bottom bunk? Topo bunk? Try not to fall out!(Don’t worry, he won’t fall out.)

–How’s the food? Do you get cake? I heard they have good onion rings there, watch out for Robyn.

Stuff like that.

Another thing I’d leave out if I had a new kid at camp is all the “I MISS YOU” stuff. I miss you so much, Daddy misses you, the dog…NO. All of that NO. Tell him that you are all BORED TO DEATH and you wish you were at camp learning to ride a horse, or stuffing your face with grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Lastly, as much as you will want to tell him them that you’re proud of him, try to wait until he gets home. I know it’s hard because you are so proud, but sometimes a line like that will backfire.

If, however, you have a kid who has been to camp before, and you know he’s adjusted, you can tell that kid how proud you are—but he probably won’t care. In fact, he might not even read your letter. The older kids are a whole different ballgame because no matter what you say, there’s a good chance you will get this in return:

Camp is all good things. It builds independence, self-reliance, tolerance and social skills. It’s great training for life. You wouldn’t have sent your kid if it wasn’t.

And before you know it, he’ll be home, counting the days until he gets to come back.

Oh, now you are making me wish I lived closer. I would totally hand Kiddo over to you because that looks like FUN!

There are too many good lines in this post, Robyn, and what spoke to me most were the helpful tips you added at the end. I think they can be applied to a lot of parenting situations, and it’s good for parents to know how their kids respond to different messages from the perspective of an insider.

And the kids look like they are having a blast. What more could you want? 🙂

Ooh, Hazel, I didn’t even think about how it might apply to other parenting situations! Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I need to read it over. You are making me so proud of myself. Thank you!! I will tell you that the line about being able to enjoy yourself without guilt was absolutely meant for kids that are here, but I was also thinking about people who are dealing with the death of a loved one while, at the same time, moving on with their lives. I’m sure no one considered that (and why would they?) but I had that in mind while writing it. I am so appreciative that you catch the “little things.”

I want to come to this camp; it looks fabulous. Can I bring my flat iron because I really need to still look cute.

I had a hard time at camp as a girl. I wanted my mommy and I was pretty introverted and shy. I am still this way. My daughter, Sissy, went to the same camp I went to and she rocked it out…loved it. I was the mom who watched in the bushes as she skipped off with her group. It was hard for me to let her go and hard for me to know she had a wonderful time.

Your summer sounds so fun. Where in N. Michigan is this camp? My hubs is from downriver Detroit. Cheers & have a marshmallow (or seven) for me!

Yes!! Bring your flatiron! We have electricity, we just have to be careful that we don’t blow a fuse if you’re using your flat iron while I’m blow drying my hair. 🙂

Camp is in Kalkaska, MI. If your hubs is from the Downriver area, he’s closer to us when we are downstate. We aren’t too far from that area. Tonight is the s’mores skit. How did you know? Get over here and we will share one! Well, maybe not. I want my own. And you will too.

Love your letter, Robyn, it rocks!!! and a great start for a book…. about your comment, “(it’s actually the ones who don’t miss home that I worry about—what’s up with THAT?) ” I must share that our youngest of three sons, (who all enjoyed camp in MI) at the tender age of 9, didn’t write home for days, while I wrote diligently…I was SO worried, couldn’t eat/sleep, lost weight (not a bad thing:-) After contacting counselors several times, he wrote a very happy letter… so, it goes to show, I didn’t need to worry… he was having the time of his life, bless his little heart 🙂 All that said, I am sure my grand-daughter’s first camp-experience at your camp, will rock!!! Do, Try not to have too much fun LOL… Thank you!!!

I know FOR A FACT that my daughter does not read ANY of my letters. When I asked her why she said that all of my letters say the same thing…blah blah..boring..blah blah…grocery store…blah blah…cleaned the house…sigh. Things really are boring at home!

STOP IT!!! Megan! Thank you!!! I am so honored!! What do I need to do? I am so excited! Thank you!!! LMK what you need from me. Thank you so much!!!!! That means so much to me, especially coming from you. OMG!!!
r

Great advice for parents of young campers!!!!!!! I’m sure Devin doesn’t even bother reading any of my letters!! But , as Grama, I did always ask those questions-about counselors, food, which activities he was doing blah, blah blah!!!!!!!! When I was a kid at camp (55 yrs. ago!!!) my dad would write (type) a letter EVERY day & I couldn’t wait for “mail call”. What the hell could he possibly say each day ????????. A couple times a week, we HAD to write letters home in order to get into the mess hall for dinner. I wish I was still at camp !!!!!!!!!!! Your kids are getting a great life experience–even with you there!!!!! If you ever need an assistant–CALL ME!!!!!

Dear Robyn,
I’m so glad you are having fun at camp. How is the food? Watch your carbs? Birthday cake? Well, ok…..it’s special! Maybe this year you will make me one of those cool bracelets…..I really, really, really want one.

Life at home is the same…..you aren’t missing a thing. …grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s; cleaning the house. (Really?) running endless errands; lunch with Nags in Birmingham, and lots of shopping at Somerset….especially Bendel’s. (Oops sorry. I wasn’t supposed to mention that).

I can’t wait for you to come home…..and I’m so proud of you…
Not supposed to say that either, but I think you will be ok with it this time around, because I really do miss you, and am so proud, too.
Love,
Mommy