pay the consequences or the others that are placed before us that all we can do

is take each moment, or each day at a time, hope for the best give all we can

physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and not give up.

I was in an accident in May of 2000. No, it was not my fault.

With it I had some body aches, stiff neck, pain and thought over time,

like a few months tops I would be back to my "normal" hand standing crazy self.

I tried doing a handstand and collapsed, and knew something was really

wrong with me with such a sudden loss of strength.

A few months passed with more unusual pain allover, feeling beyond weak,

deep muscle aches, swelling, chest/lung pain, I was sensitive to the sun more than ever, terrible circulation, my fingers would get white and then blue, gray. I couldn't do much of anything. Everyday basics became very difficult like opening door knobs ( i have a funny story about this), even hugging others or people touching me hurt so bad that all i could do was cry and express begging them to not touch me. So sad and not fun at all to tell them this because you saw in their eyes how much they wanted to relieve me of this pain.

I had 7 months of no answers, back n forth ER visits, pain gallore. Finally a ER doctor that could direct me and had a answer. This was a huge relief to have a name to this, feel a lil better that I wasn't some weird unusual "wolf" thing, it was just lupus. What ever lupus is...

Lupus (SLE) is a chronic autoimmune, inflammatory disease.

Simply, we all have an immune system. When we get sick we have antibodies

that fight the viruses. Well in lupus these antibodies not only attack the invaders

but also our healthy important organs they can't tell the difference. :(

When I was diagnosed I was working full time, going to school full time and had just a lil more than a year left, I was young, single and wanting to date. The Spring Student Art Show was around the corner and I submitted a few pieces. Surprised & shocked

I won "Best of Show" with this charcoal piece of mine of some darling old men.

5 years of a complete hell that I do not wish upon anyone. I was 22 that walked

like I was 92 . This disease robbed a great deal of my life, time, goals, vision, health. Yet I learned many great lessons, my faith was strengthened, my sense of humor changed, focus and priorities changed as did my relationships with my family and many others and with my Savior. Thankfully I could continue to do alot for myself especially when it came to dressing and going to the bathroom—Oh yes the bathroom! OK this is funny! With my symptoms I lost a lot of strength in my fingers & hands and still today hard to open jars and turn door knobs. I finish in the bathroom, wash my hands and dry them, and I try to open the door. Yeah I couldn't open it. I was weak, tired, I yelled for my brothers to help who were downstairs. I laughed, I waited, I was bored...finally Justin came to my rescue asked if I was ok... I laughed and said I have been yelling for you guys because I can't open the door (as I am laughing). It hurt but it was truly funny. I made up a song called

" I hope I go into remission" in the tune of a LDS song

" I Hope they call me on a mission" I will have to share those lyrics sometime.

As of today, I have been off all drugs (13 pills) for almost 4 years now. I changed my eating habits, diet, exercise, and put my health into my own hands and had faith that it wouldn't last forever and there was more to my life to still achieve and have.

Being able to laugh at myself thru hard times has been my medicine

when life brings not the greatest times and to not give up, take each days as it comes.

Click those heels together (if you can) and enjoy all the things you do have or can do.