Whilst being in the depths of my depression and feeling the pain from Fibromyalgia, I’ve had no means of real escape, or anyone to whom I could really talk to, or even understand a part of what I was going through. I have been very much alone with my illnesses mentally, physically and emotionally, and writing this blog is part of my healing process.
Writing this is so important for me, and I hope by doing so, some readers may identify with what I have to say. Sx ☺

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Red letter day!

Today, I read the last letter I wrote to

myself about 4 months ago. It is
the second time I have done this, and I find it an invaluable means of
bookmarking my life.

It also useful for measuring if anything has changed, got better or
stayed the same. But it is more importantly, a reminder from myself about
a period of time I want to move on from.

It might sound like a very simple thing to do, writing a letter to
yourself; but if you are being completely honest with yourself, it is far from
it.It is hard to put real words
to emotions or feelings, that can sometimes be so alien to us, and delving into
our inner psyche and soul is not something to take on lightly.

You can discover so much about yourself and the reasons why you might
behave a certain way or have a certain attitude.So, if you really want to know yourself better, write it
down, the good and the bad, then take a good look at it, and really think about
it.You will find answers, but you
need to give yourself time, to absorb this new information.

Anyway, back to my letter, I read it this morning and I was quite
overwhelmed by the contents.I
remember at the time, I was so in need of nurturing , love and care, I was also
in a lot of pain and pretty much lost and alone.

It was a very positive letter, just talking about my future, when I will
finally move on from the existence I’ve had and still have now.It was about recognizing my acceptance
of things that I can’t change, and the acknowledgement of the misery I had
experienced, and the dreams I still have left.

It was powerful reading.I
was being kind to myself for once. I smiled, and then eventually cried as I
read.It was a beautiful letter,
penned by me, to me.

Only I know of the subtle changes that have taken place over recent
months. I alone, have noted the
true power of my self-belief, and my determination to bring about change.

So today I have been reminded, and have been able to measure, that
emotionally and psychologically, I have advanced forwards, by quite a
distance.

But physically, I am sadly still waiting to move on to my new life.This is the one thing, for which I have
absolutely no control. Sx