The online journal of a crusty, longwinded trial lawyer, bemused observer of politics, and internet dilettante

Friday, September 12, 2008

Ike: Calm before the storm

From my simple vantage in southwest Houston (Sharpstown/HBU area), folks seem pretty calm and purposeful as Hurricane Ike continues to head straight for us. As much out of curiosity as anything, I stopped at my regular corner convenience store, which was still pumping gas (about a four-car line at each pump) and selling most of its regular foods and merchandise (except ice, of which they're sold out). Traffic is moderate, not unusual for this time on a Friday. My neighbors are mostly bringing in loose items from outdoors, but I think most of them are still around somewhere, hunkering down. As am I.

The skies are partly cloudy, the winds are light. There's not been a drop of rain yet where I am. But things are much different already on the coastline, or so I gather from news reports. I shan't be going sight-seeing to confirm them.

Houston's long overdue for a hurricane, and this one may be memorable. But for me, at least: So far, so good.

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UPDATE (Fri Sep 12 @ 5:50pm): Right on time, as expected, it's now cloudy and starting to get very gusty outside. But so far, no rain, and no interruptions of power, phone or internet yet. I'm probably going to shut down the computer pretty soon, so don't assume that a lack of further posting means anything awful. "Hunkering down" is a good, evocative phrase to describe this. Consider me hunkered.

Comments

I have a vantage point of I-45 and Bay Area Blvd. Mild winds, no rain today (though we got a few sprinkles yesterday). Everything around here is closed, but that's expected since we are in a 'mandatory evacuation' zip code.

Dear Mr. Dyer: It was very thoughtful of Hugh Hewitt to give you the new platform as his blog, but it did bring you even more prominently to The One's attention. I have no doubt that fifty years from now, when the secret archives are opened, and The One's most secret conversations, transcribed by the illegal immigrants the Bush Administration has planted under every bed in America to listen in on us, the sinister conversation that plots your doom will be unveiled. It will be something like this:

##################################################################

RAW TRANSCRIPT, UNEDITED: BEGIN

The One: (snoring---this is the bedroom after all)

Michelle: Hey stinky! (Sound of slap.) Wake up! That dummy McC put Palin on the ticket. We're losing! We're doomed! I didn't give up my career to work in some hick hospital for three hunnert K a year for the rest of my life. I want power, do you hear me? POWER!! I'm entitled. I didn’t spend all that time at Princeton with all those hicks making me feel uncomfortable so you could snore away on your rump while you lose! This is MY CAREER we’re talking about here!! (Sound of slap.) Get up!

The One: Wha---

Michelle: (screaming) How the hell much time do you need in Hawaii to recover, stinky?!! While you’re snoring away we’re losing. I’M LOSING!! I WON’T HAVE THE POWER I DESERVE!! I’M ENTITLED!! Get up! (screaming) AXLE GREASE? WHERE’S AXLE GREASE? GET HIS RUMP IN HERE!! (Sounds of yells, confusion, lots of slaps, kids crying, swearing---just the usual state of a campaign war room, complete with ten million in unpaid bills, down in the polls, and leaking worse than the TITANIC.) HEY AXLE GREASE! GET IN HERE---HEY! DON’T YOU RAISE YOUR FIST TO ME!!!

Axelrod(whining): You’re the one---

Michelle: (screaming) NO!!! HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU: HE’S “THE ONE.”

Axelrod:--who told us the proper way for a white man to approach a black woman is with a clenched fist---

Michelle (screaming): THAT’S A FIST BUMP, NOT A CLENCHED FIST, DUMMY!!! THIS IS A CLENCHED FIST!! (Sound of blow. From the scrap of vision the bedspread leaves us to view, we see David Axelrod crash to earth, followed by a pair of high heels stomping away on him, as if they are driving in the golden spike in the transcontinental railroad.) PALIN!!! What’re you doing to that beauty contest loser, that hag with five brats, din’t even go to a good school, all those schools she flitted around to. SHE’S BEATING US! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING! STINKY! STINKY! (Brief silence because she’s raised her voice so high that humans can’t hear it. Much howling and anguish from the press room, where the pack has not been fed its daily quota of blood.) BARACK!

The One: Uh, uh, wha? I called her lipstick or a pig or something.

Michelle: Fat lot of good that did! Every lie those boobs in the media float gets shot down!!! WHY, AXLE GREASE?

Axelrod: Mmmfphuehrposidfh;lh…

Michelle: Get that heel outa your mouth, dummy! MATTHEWS! Go buy me another paira shoes. Match this! (Sound of a kick to the softer parts of a man, giving Matthews a different sort of thrill running down his leg, lots of moans, and laughter from Olbermann.) Why can’t we lie about Palin and get away with it? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Axelrod: We do, but they keep getting shot down---

Michelle: SHOT?? DAMN HICKS CLINGING TO THEIR DAMN GUNS!!!!! TAKE ‘EM ALL AWAY WHEN I’M IN CHARGE!!! WHO’S THE SHOOTER?

Axelrod: Some guy name of Beldar---

Michelle: Kind of name is that?

Axelrod: His real name’s William Dyer. He’s a lawyer in private practice in Houston---

Axelrod (whining): He’s a one man truth squad (sound of moans), and we can’t keep up with him---(sound of slap, cutting him off.)

Michelle (screaming): HOW MANY TIMES I GOT TO TELL YOU NOT TO USE THAT WORD? LOOK AT SULLIVAN OVER THERE, ALL CRUMPLED UP. HAVE TO BURY HIM IN A SAN FRANCISCO BATHHOUSE FOR A WEEK, TO REVIVE HIM. AND LOOK AT STINKY! HE’LL HAVE THAT HEADACHE FOR A WEEK!! MIGHT HAVE TO SEND HIM ALL THE WAY BACK TO BERLIN TO CURE HIM, MAYBE EVEN MOSCOW!!! STUPID! IF WE CAN’T BEAT THIS HICK DYER, GET RID OF HIM!!!!

The further research in the archives, revealing the huffing and puffington host, the corrupt, squalid deals with Pope Al to create Ike and get you and all the other Rove rogues in Texas, I leave for other archivists. Remember, they wouldn’t be trying so hard to get you unless you were really, really important.

Good luck. Am hunkered down in Spring - hb waiting for the hurricane all day. Not looking forward to being w/o air and electricity tomorrow. Hope we can avoid that. We have water and food to eat. Am sure you do as well.

The morning seems to be bringing better news than last night portended. I hope you fared exceptionally well in the night.

Dear friends on E. Rivercrest (North of Westheimer) report lots of old trees blow down on their property, as well as throughout the Bunker Hill area, and no power. Yet they fared well: "Shaken, not stirred," they say of the long night behind them.

I do worry about "Mark L." from yesterday's post in League City. I've heard Kemah is under six feet of water.

Beldar-Sunday, 14th. I Hope and pray all is well with you and all others in the areas of flooding. I will hit constantly for your return. Thanks for joining Townhall with all the other great writers and comments. Paul at P/L blog is still sulking.

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