Ten Southern Africa Safari Tips No One Ever Mentions

On his recent trip to Zimbabwe, The Hotel Detective learned, by reading the fine print of his hotel reservation, that wearing camouflage is forbidden in the country. Only bona fide members of the military are allowed to don camo.

Which made THD think about other things that no one ever told him about going on safari. So here's a compilation, gleaned from more than a half dozen trips to South Africa, Botswana, and Zimbabwe.

1. Bring nasal spray. The air is so dry that you can get a nosebleed.

2. Bring earplugs if you’re a light sleeper. The night is full of sound (and sometimes fury).

3. E-mail: Scarce in Botswana and Zimbabwe. But two Botswana camps with reliable e-mail are Kudum and Chief’s.

4. Game drive fatigue: It happens on longer trips. Give in. A morning sleeping in or an afternoon using the camp as a resort usually restores your appetite.

5. The food: It’s still long on meat dishes, although there are a lot more salads and lighter dishes than five years ago. Make your dietary preferences known at check-in.

6. Working out: Forget it. Lodges just don’t devote space to gyms and you can’t go jogging in the bush without becoming prey yourself. If you’re a workout fanatic, book Mombo, which has a small gym.

7. The Game Lodge routine: It’s actually pretty sedentary. You sleep, you breakfast, you sit in a land rover, you lunch, you relax, you sit in a land rover, you hoist a sundowner, you have dinner, you sleep. But it’s all good.

8. Packing: You need less than you think, thanks to same-day laundry service offered at most lodges free or at a nominal cost. Three day and two evening outfits should do nicely. (And leave the big hiking boots home—see no. 7.)

9. Choice Land Rover seats: Those right behind the driver get just as good a view as the third tier and are not as subject to the fishtailing and bumping that the upper deck passengers experience.

10. Small planes: They bump around a lot in the afternoon, especially in summer, because of the thermals. If that doesn’t fly with you, try and book a morning flight.

See below for THD's reports on four top southern Africa game lodges.

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