Saturday, June 27, 2015

You would think, as long as I have
lived on the Coast of Illinois, that I wouldn't be surprised by
anything that happens around here. But then, this happened:

To quote Bob, from What About Bob: I'm sailing!

I know. I have been talking about
sailboats ever since the Coast came into existence. But I have to be
honest. While I knew the reality of our wooden boat was inevitable, I
really never believed that one day I (capital, italics, bold, exclamation point) would be steering anything larger than a modified
bathtub.

Huh.

Rob, who clearly has way too much time
on his brain, has nurtured the idea of learning to sail these big
boats in preparation for round two of our lives where we charter and
sail every body of water out there including but not limited to
Gulfs, Seas, Oceans and Sounds. Oh, and Lakes of Greatness. Being the
supportive wife, I have let him ramble on about boat types, mooring
balls, tidal maps. I was more than happy to take a trip to Tortola
and earn my Sailing 101 certification. But the thought of taking the
more difficult 102-103 classes, where you learn things like
navigation and diesel engines gave me a strong desire to go shopping
and have pillow fights.

Using the 'Gilligan didn't have all
that book learning' argument, I bowed out of round two of classes,
which he opted to take at Lake of the Ozarks, a mere 4 hours away.
And, because one must
practice what is learned, I found myself the proud renter, for 24
hours, of a 26 foot sailboat.

Only that boat was
not available when we arrived. So I found myself the proud renter of
a 32 foot sailboat.

Only that boat was
drenched, thanks to the tropical depression formally known as
Hurricane Bill. It seems that an elderly boat's window gaskets won't
hold up to one week of torrential rain. This interesting turn of
events landed us in a 36 foot Catalina sailboat.

The Mariposa

For those
measurement challenged out there – 36 feet is the length of a
telephone pole, twice the height of an average giraffe or five times
the height of Shaq – that would be 5 Shaqs, laid end to end.

This was one big
ass sailboat.

We rented the boat
through the Ozark Yacht Club. (Okay. I know. Brings to mind a group
of those Baldknobbers People in overalls with one strap, a hat with a
hole in it, a corn cob pipe and a whole bunch of bass boats. Well,
stop it.) The Ozark Yacht Club is just off the Bagnell Dam Strip
(where there ARE Baldknobbers in overalls plus nearly as much neon as
Las Vegas and the largest population of salt water taffy west of the
Mississippi. The club is nestled in a wooded cove, down a frightening
hill. It offers several beautiful rental cabins as well as a wine
bar, an award winning cafe, a small beach, a swimming pool and a full
service marina.

It is also the home
of some enormous, expensive boats. All of which I was certain would
zoom from their slips and into our path as we maneuvered our boat for
the day out of, then back into it's slip.

I am hiding in the cabin so as not to see the huge, expensive boats we are not crashing into.

After Bert from the
marina gave us a tour and run down of the boat's controls (it had a
diesel engine and AC/DC power although the galley and head were not
functional for our visit) we grabbed some big ass sandwiches from the
cafe and prepared to cast off. Once out of the marina and in the main
channel, I put the boat in irons and Rob hoisted the main sail.

This is when it
started.

I was at the helm,
the boat pointed directly into the wind. As the sail went up the boat
began to gently, but firmly move. I made constant adjustments to keep
our direction. We wanted to start off slowly to get a feel of the
boat's capability. It was quite clear. Mariposa wanted to sail. The
power of wind and vessel is impressive. It demands respect.

It had taken
hold of me.

Sails from the bow.

Rob took the helm
and turned us to a close reach, wind over the port. I hoisted the jib
and we were off. Not too fast, but moving.

No motor.

Just wind.

There is no feeling
like it.

More sails. I can't help it.

This is where the
Tropical Depression formerly known as Hurricane Bill comes in. You
see, Missouri, Texas and it's Hurricane are only one panhandled state
apart. Which means the Coast of Illinois hosted tropical depression
rain for five days straight. Including the Wednesday we were planning
to sail. In fact, it rained on us for the entire 4 hour drive. I kept
repeating 'rain before 7, stop by 11'.

And it did.

Until 3pm.

Maybe 1pm, I really
have no idea. By this point I was so wet my eyeballs were blurry.
Thankfully, there was no lightening and the wind was quite gentle
which was a good thing as we were already under sail. (Safety Police
alert – Rob had done his captaining work and triple checked the
weather, reviewed our plan with the marina people. There was a radio
on the boat. We had raincoats and life vests at the ready.)

For nearly four
hours we shared the lake with two other sailboats and a couple of jet skis. The lake was calm, the wind fairly steady but gentle. We
topped out around 3knots. Not very fast, especially for a big boat
with it's sails full out. But plenty fast enough for someone who is
incapable of judging distance on the water and has an over-heightened
fear of destroying someone else's very expensive boat, dock, house on
the shore.

As Rob pointed out
many many times, I can drive a car. If something is coming at me in a
car, I turn. Same with a boat. But here's the thing. A boat doesn't
have a break. I can't slam on the pedal with both feet and STOP.
Sure, I can turn the boat into the wind (in irons) or just drop the
sails and it will stop (nearly)dead. I have had a lot of experience
doing this, by mistake.

I spent an equal
amount of time grinning like an idiot because I was so happy and
wishing I had a prescription for 1million Xanax because my anxiety
over destroying something was higher than the 40 foot mast.

This is something I
may need to come to terms with.

The desire to
continue on past one more cove, around that next corner was strong.
So was the wall of rain we could see further down the lake.

We returned to the
marina without incident. Unless you count my sudden urge to BUY the
boat, which just happened to be for sale.

I got over that as
Rob listed the number of things needing 'upgrading' and the cost of
each.

Our hope had been
for a full live-on-a-boat experience.

interior shot. sort of a floating camper in need of a little love.

As the boat was not
outfitted for showers and cooking, we used the club facilities. (No.
Not an outhouse and garden hose.) The Ozark Yacht Club provides it's
members, and boat renters, a fully equipped club house. We had our
choice of several private bathrooms – each extremely clean. The
club also has a full service kitchen and a club room connected to a
long balcony with tables and chairs. (These amenities were not part
of our access, which is not to say I didn't 'investigate' them. All
very clean and void of anything made of corncob.)

We had dinner at
Lil' Rizzo's, an Italian restaurant about 15 minutes away. We have
eaten here several times on trips to the lake, each time finding the
place completely by accident. I can only believe that Lil' Rizzo's
is actually a mobile figment of my imagination which just pops up
when I am starving. House salads, light, flaky, herb-y dinner rolls,
spaghetti with meatball, supreme pizza, a glass of wine each – yum!

On the way back to
the boat we stopped and grabbed desert at Pete's Market– chocolate
covered graham crackers.

Rob and I both
spent time in the Ozarks as kids. We have both skied the lake behind
power boats until our arms were ready to fall off and our hands
couldn't let go of the tow rope then passing out dead asleep in
shared cabin bedrooms or tents.

That was the kid
us.

The grown-up us
spent the remainder of the evening on deck with a glass of wine,
reading and just enjoying the quiet lake. Oh, and this:

And this:

And for about 30 seconds, this:

Because of the
threat of rain overnight, we opted to sleep on the fold-down table
bed in the center of the boat where we had a fan. We chose to ignore
the fact that the metal mast (lightening rod) ran through the corner
of the bed by Rob's feet.

Our morning looked
like this:

Rob went on a
coffee run and I sat on deck with my book, watching a fish jump and a
duck quack its way around the shore. One of the best mornings ever.

And that's when it
really happened.

I know now. Deep
down, so much that I actually read and enjoyed an article about
installing a water maker on a sailboat, that this is something I want
to do. Not because someone else wants it.

But because I want
it.

That is an amazing
feeling.

Sort of like
sailing.

Of course on the
way home, this happened:

The Mississippi Ocean. The Arch can be seen mid-right, if it were SUNNY.

Who knew the Coast
of Illinois would actually become a real Coast...

For the purpose of
full disclosure – I have no financial gain to be made from any of
the mentions above. Sadly. I would even be willing to be paid in boat
rentals. And those flaky, herb-y dinner rolls.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

What
a surprise. I open my email on the train ride home only to discover I
have been nominated for a *Liebster Award*! I have to admit, my first
thought was courtesy of Sally Field: 'They like me! They really like
me!'

No,
really.

It
still amazes me when someone tells me they have read my writing, that
they find it entertaining or, on occasion, want to use something I
have written.

So
when Suzanne from Adventures of Empty Nesters sent me a nomination I
was thrilled. Suzanne writes a fabulous travel blog.To be included in
the list of other writers she nominated is a thrill. I read the work
of many of these ladies and always take away a little something that
helps improve my own writing.

Please
take the time to click on Adventures of Empty Nesters, read Suzanna's
own nomination questionnaire, check out some fabulous adventures and
click on the links of the other nominees.

These
ladies never fail to make me laugh or heaven forbid, make me think. I
am passing on the same questions given me. Can't wait to read
everyone's answers.

What is your dream
destination?

I have a ridiculously romantic vision
of Morocco, thank you Bogie and Ingrid. I will be the breathy woman
in the lovely fitted white linen suit sipping a cognac and
guilt-tripping a ruggedly handsome man.

What places have you visited that you thought were highly
overrated?

I have to admit. I have never really
been anywhere that completely disappointed me. Although, for our
20th anniversary, we went to the fanciest casino in St.
Louis (stop laughing, it is connected to a Four Seasons Hotel, which
is still one of my favorite hotels) and I was pretty bummed to find
that there was a much higher percent of sweat pants to evening gowns
and tuxedos. And WAY more smoke than any James Bond movie.

What is your favorite U.S.
destination?

This is a tough one. I absolutely love
Destin, Florida. The white sand. The emerald ocean. Sure, the traffic
in the summer is obnoxious and it can be super hot in July, but it's
an ocean heat. I would be willing to make the 12-14 hour drive at the
drop of a suitcase for even just 24 hours on that beautiful beach. My
other favorite place is good old across the river from home: St.
Louis, Mo. St. Louis is overlooked by everyone. We have some of the
best restaurants, a diverse musical scene, a wealth of history, a
rich literary past, a honkin' big Arch and a museum with the world's
biggest pair of underpants. How big are YOUR underpants, NYC???

What makes you happy?

Sitting
on a deck or patio, warm breeze gently blowing, nice glass of wine, a
delish appetizer, classic rock being played by a band or an ipod
surrounded by my family and friends...nirvana.

Why did you start blogging?

I
started Coast of Illinois as a goof, based on a running joke at work
regarding the number of vagabound hairnets spotted on the walk to the
parking garage. It doubled as a way for me to keep up a little
creativity when work and life didn't allow for time to work on
fiction writing. I can't believe I have been maintaining the site
since 2012! There have been times I considered quitting and times when
I can't seem to write fast enough to get everything I want to say
posted. I stumbled over Suzanne's site a year ago and thanks to her
invitation to join Women of Midlife, a facebook blogging group, I
feel that my little blog might actually go someplace. At the very
least, I have met an incredible group of women who share a love of
writing and bring to the table a variety of talents, experiences and
support.

What are your top three bucket
list items?

In
no particular order: Live in a city apartment for one year, where I
can walk to the store, stop at a cafe, visit a museum and return to
my lovely city view to write. Actually finish a novel (and get it
published, she whispers. And have people actually purchase it, she
hints out of the other side of her mouth.) Spend however long it
takes to do the Moveable Feast tour of Europe/Cuba/KeyWest –
fishing for trout in Spanish rivers, sipping coffee and whiskey in
French cafés, writing the truest sentences one can write from my
palm tree lined veranda outside Havana, winning the Martha Gelhorn
look-alike contest at Sloppy Joe's in Key West. (Did I mention I am a
hopeless romantic?)

What is one piece of advice you
would offer or one saying you live by?

"Try
three bites before you decide if you like it or not." This was
the rule I taught my Brownie Scouts when it came to trying unusual
food. But honestly, it applies to everything.

What is the best thing anyone
has ever said about your blog?

My
family and friends have been incredibly indulgent and supportive of
my writing. I love when they mention something I have written,
without prompting from me. But my absolute favorite thing to hear is
'you made me spew coffee all over my computer screen'. I always
thought this was an issue only my sister suffered from, but
apparently, it is occasionally an epidemic.

What is your ultimate guilty
pleasure?

Curling
up on the couch in the middle of a perfectly good day, diet pepsi and
popcorn in hand, ridiculously bad SciFy movies on TV. Think –
Sharnado, Anaconda, any worm movie starring Kevin Bacon, or an apocalyptic end of the world movie in which Dennis Quaid, Will Smith
or Lou Diamond Phillips, assisted by robots, saves the day. I will
not apologize.

What is one product or service
you cannot live without?

My
super fab hairstylist Vanessa (Salon Lofts, Ladue). As a woman with
naturally curly hair, who lived the first 40 years of her life with
pixie cuts and bad poodle shags, I can not stress to you the
importance of finding someone who knows what I want to do with my
hair, even after I say "oh you know, sort of angled, shortish.
You know with caramelly colors. But not too dark. Or too short."

What two countries make you the
happiest to visit?

We
took a quick trip to Canada last summer, and it was one of the most
beautiful, clean, happiest places I have ever been. Even the
panhandlers were pleasant. And Tim Hortons?! Best coffee ever.

In
the fall of 2014 I was lucky enough to travel to Tortola, BVI. I have
been to Europe and Mexico but never to the Caribbean. I had no idea
what to expect and once again, everything surpassed my preconceived
notions of what island living might be. I can honestly say, if it
hadn't been for our kids we would have chucked everything and stayed.

*The Liebster Award is an award given
to bloggers by bloggers. The blogger who is nominated answers a set
of questions provided by the colleague who nominated them and then
pass the fun on to other bloggers. The purpose is to give some well
deserved recognition to newbie bloggers, provide their site with an
exposure boost as well as seek out and network with other newbies. It
is also a way to show some love to a favorite blogger, or to a blog
you look up to. It’s a little bit of ‘Pay-It-Forward’ and a
little bit of ‘Team-Building’ all in one.

I have always loved
writing. At one time my dream was to write for Saturday Night Live,
and in my spare time Rolling Stone Magazine. Life got in the way, as
life is wont to do, and instead of moving to the big city I moved to
the Coast of Illinois where I became a nurse, married my best friend
and life style instigator and raised a writer son who creates fantasy
card games and a daughter who juggles pulmonary research and fire
clubs. No. Really. I returned to writing somewhere around 2008,
writing short stories. I have met some of the most interesting people
through writing – both in 3D and cyber-space.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Oh sure, from April 1st
until November 30th there is always the threat of 700%
humidity. And lately we have the added fun of attack by 3D,
ultrasonic radar enhanced green, red and orange bands of rain with occasional lightening bolts and tiny spinning cartoon tornadoes.

But this past Saturday had a minimal
amount of danger and we drove Blue Sky down to Rend Lake to crash the Midwest Messabout at Rend Lake. (I should note that we only went for
the day, gawked at some beautifully crafted boats then beat it home
before the storms rolled in. We didn't really get to talk with many
attendees, but as usual, those we did talk with were delightful.)

For those of you new to Coast of
Illinois – a small boat messabout is a gathering of small boat
enthusiasts. Usually these boats are handmade. They can be powered by
sail, motor or human. There is usually camping, a potluck, much
discussion of epoxy, many tall tales and then everyone puts their
boats in and takes pictures of one another sailing. I personally
would love to see some water gun battles, perhaps a re-enactment of
Mutiny on the Bounty and then a rip-roaring game of Beer Pirates,
where we quiet sailboats cruise past the floating heads of pontoon
boaters and grab the beers from their
outstretched-to-protect-their-beers-from-lake-water- hands.

Maybe next year.

We arrived to see this gorgeous boat being set up. The Libby Rose is the fifth boat it's owner has built.

Here she is at sail during a brief bit of sun.

I swear, it is more overcast than sunny but still a great day.

Life vests were the order of the day. Here a sailor is hoisting the gaff rig.

This is a gaff rig or as I prefer to call it - a san-pan sail, because it reminds me of the boats in the book Ping!

I have no idea what type of boat this is, beside beautiful. (oh wait, just found the info - it is a Skiff America20!)

Resting

Sailing. Seriously sailing. I left this uncropped so you could get the full effect of the waves and the wind in the sail.

I believe they are either searching for enemy submarines or preparing to bring in the big shark. The head, the tail, the whole damn fish.

Who wouldn't want their own tug boat?

Taking pictures of people taking pictures. So fun!

If anyone from the Rend Lake Messabout
recognizes their boat here, please contact me at
laura.ehlers85@gmail.com.
I would be happy to send you a copy of the pictures. And if anyone
happened to get some snaps of a blue, Bermuda rigged sloop named Blue
Skies, please contact me. I would also love pics. It is surprisingly
difficult to get a picture of your own boat at sail!

THANKS! To Tom B, who sent these 'action shots' of Blue Skies!

Looks like smooth sailing from here on out little buddy...

See that spray at the bow? Well, the next one soaks me.

Heeling is my favorite!

Love how the main sail is curved here!

I have also added a new video to the
Sailing page here. It incorporates all that I love about being on the
sailboat, the sounds of the wind, the sails and the splashes.

Enjoy.

AND THIS JUST IN!!! Midwest Mariner picked up this issue of Coast of Illinois! Please check out the link: MidwestMariner

Friday, June 5, 2015

It has been one of those weeks
here on the Coast of Illinois. Consequently, this is a rather random
post.

Last weekend we moved our youngest to
her city apartment.

We are officially 'empty nesters'.

NO – we have NOT been running around
the house naked.

What is is about kids moving out that
seems to turn everyone into nudists?

YES – my house looks like Allied Van
Lines burglarized it.

Things missing: one table, two
chairs, one bed, two lamps, three rugs

yet, I still have about
200 coffee mugs in the kitchen cupboard.

Am I freaking out?

Yes and no. I am so excited for our
kids – both are living busy lives, on their own, yet close enough
to stop by for dinner or laundry.

Thank you, Universe.

On a healthy note:

This weekend we will be having the
first of many fresh salads from greens grown right here in my little
garden! Tonight's salad will also include quatreradisfrançais. (That's four French radishes for you non-Francais.) I
have no idea what nationality the greens are. I am topping it with an
herb vinaigrette. The herbs are fresh from the garden also. I believe
they are of Italian, Greek and French descent.

clockwise from top - baby kale, baby spinach, baby mixed greens and four French radishes.Take THAT salad in a bag!

Bon Appétit!

Coast of Illinois
Vinaigrette

2Tbs Balsamic Vinegar

1/4 cup Olive Oil

Any combo of fresh herbs,
painstakingly tended and gently harvested at their utmost freshness.

Blah Blah...

I'm a landlocked beach bum here on the Coast of Illinois. No...not that Coast, you know, the one with broad shoulders. The other Coast. The one with tug boats and Arches and a bunch of ancient dead guys buried in Mounds.
I am an inadvertent sailor-thanks to my husband and our 15 foot handmade wooden sloop...for which I made the sails!
I am here to promote the beach bum lifestyle, even when surrounded by corn and clay and I hope to point out the everyday weirdness that is easy to miss because once you start seeing hairnets, you will never stop seeing hairnets.

I have a palm tree necklace. It set us back a whole ten dollars, purchased on the boardwalk in Destin, Florida during the first trip ...

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Hey Europe!

Just got a notice, due to the high number of hits in Europe (!!!) that I am required to inform you that there may be cookies attached to this blog. I am told these are tracking cookies. I know. I was disappointed too. I was hoping for a nice gooey chocolate chip or Mexican chocolate. But, NO. There are no chocolate chip cookies. Just computer type cookies. I am not sure what else to do about this. If you are in Europe and reading my blog, first of all, THANKS! Secondly, if you are one of the half dozen Russian type porn sites, STOP IT. And thirdly, if you are one of my five relatives living in Europe, MISS YOU ALL AND LOVE YOU! If there is a problem please contact me Europe. I am a very delightful person and hope to visit you again one day.