BO's SOULFOOD @ parishworld.net

Bo Sanchez is a bestselling author, a powerful preacher, and the founder of many ministries that serve the poor and the Catholic faithful in the Philippines. He publishes Shepherds' Voice - the Philippines' most popular Catholic literature - and hosts his own weekly Catholic TV program and daily radio show. His passion is to see people reach their God-given potential and receive abundance in every area of life.

Tuesday

Let me tell you a crazy story.One morning, a woman was sad when she faced the mirror. She discovered she only had 3 strands of hair on her head. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll braid my hair!” And after doing so, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 2 strands of hair. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll part my hair in the middle.” After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 1 strand of hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll wear my hair in a ponytail.” After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she had zero hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Yeepee!” she shouted in glee, “I don’t have to do my hair today!” Immediately, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.Do you want to be happy?Here’s how…

The Difference Between Pleasure and Happiness

A thick wad of P1000 bills gives pleasure.A chocolate parfait with thick chocolate syrup gives pleasure.A fun movie, with a bucket of popcorn on the side, gives pleasure.A roller coaster ride gives pleasure.A kiss gives pleasure.What’s the difference between pleasure and happiness?Pleasure is an outside job.But happiness is an inside job.It doesn’t depend on any external circumstances. Yep, even if you only have three strands of hair on your head.Happiness isn’t the absence of problems.By the way, do you want me to show you a few people who don’t have problems? Great. Bring your shovel out and let’s dig them up from their graves.The Bible doesn’t say, “Be joyful sometimes.” Or “Be joyful when you don’t have problems.” The Bible says, “Be joyful always.”It that possible? I mean, c’mon. No one can be happy 365 days a year.But the Bible says, “Be joyful always” because happiness isn’t a mood.Happiness isn’t an emotion either.Happiness is a way of life.7 Tools Of HappinessI know of strange human beings walking this face of the earth who are extremely happy. Not just moderately or mildly happy. But deeply joyful. (Hey, you may be one of them. Congratulations!)I know them. Some of them are my friends.Because of my work, I’ve traveled all over the world.Last count: 36 countries. That’s a lot of frequent flyer miles, jet lag, and lost luggage. But that also means I’ve met more people than the average person on the street. It’s not just the sheer number or the variety of people I’ve met. Because I’m a preacher, I’ve not only met them, I’ve engaged many of them on a deep level. Like on our first meeting (or phone call or email), they open up their heart and pour to me their problems like I was their soul mate.So I have this distinct advantage of knowing lots and lots of people on an intensity that’s beyond superficial.So I asked myself this question: Who are the happiest people I know? I listed them down. After sifting through the hundreds of thousands of people archived in my brain, I asked a more difficult question: What is common among them all?I came up with seven great things I see in extremely happy people.I call them the 7 Tools of Happiness:1. Happy people create their destiny2. Happy people like themselves a lot3. Happy people nurture connections4. Happy people find delight everywhere5. Happy people embrace change6. Happy people trust deeply7. Happy people work their purpose dailyAt the FEAST, for the next few Sundays, I’m preaching on these 7 Tools of Happiness. (If you want to join me, it’s at Valle Verde Country Club, beside ULTRA, in Pasig. Join us every Sunday with three sessions to choose from: 8am, 10:30, and 1pm. It’s FREE! For more information, email support@kerygmafamily.com.)But let me share with you why many people are unhappy…Your Body Is Hardwired To Be AfraidThe enemy of happiness isn’t sadness.The enemy of happiness isn’t problems.The enemy of happiness isn’t loneliness.The enemy of happiness is fear.Our lives are so fueled by it. We run our lives by fear.In Dan Baker’s excellent book, What Happy People Know, he explains how our body circuitry is wired to fear.Our brains have three parts. The brain stem, the amygdala, and the neocortex. The more primitive parts of our brains, the brain steam (also called the reptilian brain, because reptiles have these for brains) and the amygdala are programmed for fear.Why? Our ancestors needed fear for their physical survival. Imagine yourself living in the wilderness with lions, wolves, and cobras around you. Danger lurks behind every tree and shaddow.Once their brains register fear, the endocrine glands produce our fear hormones adrenaline and cortisol. It gave them super strength to fight or flight. And in fighting or fleeing, they exhaust the adrenaline and cortisol in their bodies. Well and good. But what about us who usually sit behind desks and work on computers?We still have the same fear mechanism.But this time, we’re no longer afraid of lions or cobras behind every tree.We afraid of our rising credit card bills.We’re afraid of our boss.We’re afraid of losing our jobs.We’re afraid for our children—what will happen to their future?We’re afraid that at 35, we won’t get married anymore.We’re afraid we’ll grow lonely.We’re afraid we’ll run out of money.We’re afraid of social rejection.We’re afraid of social shame and losing face.We’re afraid of disease.And these fears are so real, our endocrine glands produce adrenaline and cortisol as well. And because we’re seated behind our desks, pounding on our computers, we really don’t use up any of it. Adrenaline and cortisol become poison in our bodies, destroying our health bit by bit.Thus, very few people are happy.Conclusion: If you want to be happy, we need to overcome our fears.How?The Only Antidote to Fear Is…Twenty years ago, a friend gave me a book about facing fears.My arrogant response to her: “Thanks for the book. But frankly, I don’t think I need it. I don’t know why, but fear isn’t a problem for me. I don’t have any fears.”Ten years later, I ate my words.Because after a deep soul search, I realized how my life was run by many fears. Many of the things I was doing I did because of fear!I feared what other people said about me.I feared failure.I feared angry people.I feared of not having enough.I feared of not being enough.In my life, I’ve discovered that there is only one thing that can overcome fear.There is only one thing that is more powerful than fear.The only antidote to fear is love.When you fill your life with love, your fears naturally disappears.I’m talking about a love for God, a love for others, a love for yourself, and a love for life itself. The Bible says, Perfect love casts out all fear, and I totally believe it.In fact, remember the 7 Tools of Happiness I listed above? Every single one of them is really a facet of love—and each tool can drive away a specific fear in your life. Once your fears are gone, happiness will flood your soul.I’ll talk more about it in my next Blog.May your dreams come true,

Thursday

JANUARY 6, 2009 (http://bosanchez.ph/) - Who said you can’t have fun on a budget? Last July, to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, my extended family of 28 all flew to the island resort of Boracay for five days. Just imagine how much we spent.

But this Christmas 2008, we spent a meager P6000 only. Because fun doesn’t mean expensive. Fun means you’re with people you love. So we went for a whole-day swim in a lovely Bulacan resort. Yep, we had the beautiful place exclusively to ourselves for only six thousand buckeroos.

And we brought our own food. My sisters cooked Adobo. (We’re Filipino, remember?) And my brother-in-law brought Tuna Panga for me and grilled it on the spot. With tomatoes and wansuy. And a gigantic pot of hot steaming rice good for 60 people. (Did I say we’re Filipino?) For desert, my niece brought buko pandan with jello. Yum!

Not all of us swam. Most of us were lazy bums sitting around the pool, eating chichiria, playing board games, and belting 80’s songs in the Videoke.

In the midst of all the fun, I saw Mom in a corner. I caught her crying. She missed Dad who went to Heaven last year. I missed him too.

That’s when I began to think of 2008…

Oh, it was awesome. 2008 was so blessed. My ministry flourished. My business grew. My health improved. Even my eyesight improved (I no longer wear eyeglasses.) The blessings are too much to count.

But if you’d ask me, “Bo, what was your greatest blessing for 2008?” I would have to say, “My relationships.” At the end of the day, life is built on them. We only have a very short time to enjoy the people we love. And this “short time” is what I’m profoundly thankful for.

For example, my marriage is blessed. I love my wife more than ever. I love talking with her. I love sitting beside her after a long day. I can’t imagine life without this lovely girl. (Proof of how fantastic she is: I only have one vice and she gives it to me—Every night, she serves me a10 minute foot-massage. Isn’t she incredible?)

This 2008, we also took our family meals four notches higher. (1) All of us sit around the table from beginning to end; (2) We don’t answer any phone or text during mealtime; (3) We close the TV set; We don’t read newspapers; (4) We totally engage each other in conversation. Because of these four simple decisions, our meals have enriched our relationships.

My two boys? Just phenomenal. They make my mornings the greatest part of my day. We spend lots of time talking and having our little breakfast dates.

My relationship with my mother and my sisters—and their families—are my treasure. And my parents-in-laws are God’s great bonus to me. They love me more than they love their daughter. (Just kidding.)

And how can I start talking about how wonderful my friends are? (I wrote about them in another Blog entry entitled Warning: This Will Make You Hungry.)

And my friends include YOU, my spiritual family. (Just in case you haven’t joined, log on at http://www.kerygmafamily.com/ It’s totally FREE. You get a mountain load of spiritual blessings to nourish your soul.)

Last Sunday, I disturbed the 6000+ people attending the Kerygma Conference.

Because that morning, God disturbed me too.

He woke me up and told me to totally change my talk. Just like that. I had barely a few minutes to prepare, so I didn’t even know everything I was going to say.

On stage, I opened the Bible to Matthew 11:28:“Come to me all of you who are weary and tired and I will give you rest…” That passage is so well known, you even see it in Hallmark cards. But very few read the hard-to-understand verse after that. Verse 29 says, “Take my yoke upon you…”

Which is a rather strange way of giving someone rest!

Just in case you didn’t know, a yoke is the heavy wooden beam that you put on cattle or oxen, so they could pull a plow or pull a wagon. Not very restful, I assure you. What in the world was Jesus talking about?

I told the 6000+ people listening to me that there were two kinds of tired people: Those tired because of their trials and those tired because of their sins. And it was the second group of people I wanted to speak to.

Are you tired because of the yoke of sin?

I believe no one on this planet ever walks without a yoke. No one! There are only two yokes available: You either carry the yoke of God or the yoke of sin. (Anyone who defines “freedom” as freedom away from God is carrying the heaviest yoke or burden of all.)

I then told my audience, “God woke me up this morning to tell me that today, we need to make a commitment—on our knees—to the yoke of purity.”

That day, I just felt a burden in my heart to preach about purity.

I said, “You either carry the yoke of purity or the yoke of impurity. Both are yokes. But one is a million times heavier than the other. And the word ‘million’ is a gross understatement.”

The crowd was silent. More silent than usual. I knew I was hitting a sore spot—a topic no one wanted to talk about.

“Friends, I know the yoke of impurity,” I said, “I was addicted to pornography for decades. Let me tell you—I liken porn to swallowing vomit. It sucked my life. It consumed so much of my time and energy, it almost destroyed my life and dreams. Until God came into my life and He asked me to give it up, in exchange for the beautiful and very light yoke of purity.”

A Word To Boyfriends And Girlfriends

I also talked to singles in relationships. “Stop playing around with this beautiful gift of purity. Don’t open this gift, toss it around, or smudge it. Preserve it and give it to each other on the day of your wedding.”

I asked them to set the bar high. “When my wife and I became boyfriend and girlfriend, we decided not to kiss each other on the lips. It was crazy. And believe me, it was difficult! The struggle was great. But we set the bar very high so that if ever we failed, the slippage won’t be deep. That decision kept our relationship pure. We explored each other’s minds, not each other’s bodies. On our wedding day, we were able to give ourselves the beautiful gift of purity.”

“I know that others put the bar so low,” I said. “As long as they don’t have sex, they think they can do whatever they want. But singles who do this find out sooner or later that they destroy the gift of purity.”

I also spoke to those who already lost their virginity. “Physical virginity is important. But spiritual virginity is more important. Even if you’ve done ‘it’ before, make a decision with your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep your relationship pure from this day forth. And God will give you spiritual virginity. This is the gift that you’ll give each other on your wedding day.”

Renounce Emotional Adultery

I then spoke to husbands and wives.

“Physical adultery is obviously sinful. But how many of you reject Emotional Adultery? When God invented marriage, He designed you to give 100% of your thoughts, your affections, your emotions, your attractions to one person and one person alone. When you do that, your marriage is dynamite. Powerful. Magnificent. Your marriage blooms because you invest all that you have to one person. But when you slice up your thoughts and affections and give one sliver to this other person and another sliver to this other person, you scatter your power. Don’t wonder why your marriage lacks depth and joy and love.”

That day, I led all 6000+ to kneel down.

First, the singles. Second, the couples.All of us repented of our sins.All of us received His forgiveness.All of us gave up the yoke of impurity.All of us took on the yoke of purity.All of us made a solemn commitment to live a life of purity.It was so powerful, so moving, you could see people in tears.Many were set free that day.Friends, I invite you to make the same commitment today.Take the yoke of purity.Jesus wants to set you free.

She was a short, plumpish, silver-haired, never-been-married woman with a contagious laugh and a heart as big as a boat.

For years, she was a very successful businesswoman who owned a gigantic canteen in a hospital.

All her life, she cooked and fed people. If she fed a human being and that human being said, “Sarap!” (Delicious!), she was in heaven.

I first met Tita Neneng in 1980, when she joined our tiny prayer group, Light of Jesus. After a few weeks, I noticed how people loved her. As their leader, people greeted me with respect. But when Tita Neneng walked into the prayer group, everyone stood up and adored her. Because each week, without fail, she brought a humongous pot of steaming Tinola (chicken soup) for everyone.

Here’s a secret I’d like to share with you…

She Was My Second Mother

One day, when I was only 18 years old, Tita Neneng pulled me aside and pressed a thick, white envelope in my hand. “Brother Bo,” she said, “I know you’ve been praying for a car. Instead of just praying for it, I’m giving you money to buy a second-hand car.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was fifty thousand pesos in cash. It was the biggest amount I’ve ever held in my hand. In 1984, P50,000 was huge money.

But I simply couldn’t buy the car for myself. So months later, I told her, “Tita Neneng, I’m donating your money to the community. We need a community van more than I need a personal car.” She understood. “That’s up to you, Bo.”

She was like a second mother to me. Whenever she saw me, she’d give me food, stories, and laughter.

And when community needed money, she’d be the first person I’d call. “Tita Neneng, I want to buy a small piece of property for our community office. Will you help me?” She didn’t even ask me to explain. She pulled out her checkbook and wrote a check for P100, 000. (Today, that would be worth P500, 000.) Our office building is now sitting on that same property.

And when I ran out of money for the salaries of our full-time staffers, I called her up. When I greeted her, “Hi Tita Neneng,” she didn’t even let me speak. She just said, “I have a check for you. Visit me.”

But something happened when she was 70 years old…

She Left Everything For Love

She suffered a massive heart attack.

So massive, she died—for one minute.

Thankfully, the doctors were able to revive her.

I visited her in the hospital and I was shocked by her request. Even as she was still lying down in bed, this 70-year old woman said, “Brother Bo, I want to serve the Lord.”

I said, “Tita Neneng, you’re already serving the Lord.”

“No,” she said, “I want to serve in Anawim,” she said. “This is now my second life. Please let me live with the poor and cook for them everyday.”

Anawim was a ministry for the poorest of the poor that I started the year before. We housed the abandoned elderly in a 5-hectare property in Montalban.

Tita Neneng left everything—her big house, her air-conditioned room, and her brand new van. And she also left her businesses.

She lived in Anawim and took over the kitchen.

Tita Neneng moved into one of the houses where the poor old women we’d pick up from the streets stayed. In that house, she would share the same toilet with these street people.

It wasn’t an easy life. During these early years of Anawim, we didn’t even have electricity or running water.

But everyday, with great love, she’d cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for hundreds of our Anawim residents. Indeed, we called her the Mother of Anawim.

Many times, she’d pull out her own money and give it to the ministry. Until one day, she said with a laugh, “Brother Bo, I don’t have money anymore. It’s all gone.”

She gave everything. Her strength. Her time. Her money. Her life.

The Happiest Woman I’ve Ever Met

Many times, we’d talk over lunch. She loved telling me, “Brother Bo, I can die right now. I’m so happy. What else will I ask for?” Every time she’d say these lines, she’d cry tears of joy. Believe me. She was one of the happiest persons I’ve ever met in my life.

Today, after 13 years of service to the poorest of the poor, she suffered another heart attack.

He came up to me right after I gave a talk on financial literacy. The man spoke to me with the gravity of a Supreme Court Justice, it scared me.

“Why do you say that, sir?” I asked.

“Because there are people who are born poor,” the man said, “And there are people who are born rich. That’s destiny. That’s the will of God.”

I winced. How could I tell him that I’ve been working for years (no, decades) with the poor—and this was the exact kind of distorted thinking that has trapped a lot of people in poverty. “God made me poor,” is an invisible placard written on the foreheads of many poor people I’ve met.

I told him, “To be born rich or poor is not a choice, that’s true. But to become rich or poor—that’s a choice that God leaves up to us.”

He looked at me as though I spoke in Swahili.

I wanted to explain myself but he wanted to ask me a very disturbing question…

God Leaves The Choice To UsWhether To Be Rich Or Poor

“Bo, why are you teaching us to become rich?”

His tone of voice was sharp. Like he was asking me, “Why are you teaching us to murder people, burn their bodies, and eat their liver?”

He continued, “If you’re really a Christian, you should teach us to be content with where we are. Bo, aren’t you content with where you are?”

I laughed. “Oh, I’m very content.”

I never told this to him, but I’d like to tell you: Right now, if I choose to, I can stop working, deposit my money in a bank—and live on the interest. Sure, I have to simplify my lifestyle even further, but we’ll still be very comfortable.

With the interest I’ll earn from the bank, I can maintain my small house and simple car.

And yes, I can still bring out my wife for our weekly romantic dates.

And I can still bring my kids for our twice-a-year vacations. No more Macau trips, that’s for sure. But Tagaytay would be just fine.

I can even pay for our homeowner’s association dues. (A whopping P120 a month! Yes, I live in a happy third class subdivision.)

But if I stop working and live on my interest, a few things will have to change…

Life Isn’t Just About You

Today, I send a number of poor children to school. That has to stop.

Today, I finance a few missionaries. That has to stop.

Today, I provide capital for livelihood projects for the poor. That has to stop.

Today, I finance my new ministry projects in its trial period. That has to stop.

This is the reason why I’ve chosen to grow, to expand, to increase, and to become richer because I want to bless the world more.

That’s why I work very hard today!

Here’s what I learned: (1) To be content and (2) to want to grow can co-exist in your heart.

How wealthy? He was earning two million dollars a month. (I’m not kidding.) He was in the Philippines visiting our smaller islands.

“So how did you like your visit?” I asked him.

“I loved it,” he said, “I have never met a more polite, more courteous, nicer people than the Filipinos.”

“Thank you,” I beamed.

But then he frowned. “Bo, I also noticed how religious Filipinos are. I saw the tricycles with signs, saying, “God loves you” and “John 3:16”. There is so much God in your country. And yet there is so much poverty.”

Ouch.

That hurt because it’s so true.

His question reminded me about my visit to Vietnam a month before—and how disturbed I felt.

There’s not much God in that country. It’s been a communist country for decades. But the economy is exploding. And according to statistics, poverty has gone down by a huge 60%! Can you believe that?

One reason: Foreign investments.

Last year, the Philippine’s foreign investments reached a measly $2.5B.

In Vietnam last year, their foreign investments reached $15B.

And do you know what happened this year? From January to July 2008, foreign investments in Vietnam already reached $33B!

Look at China. Another “godless” nation. But poverty has gone down as well. And they’re now poised to be the next Superpower of the world.

Look at Japan. Only 2% of its population is Christian. Many of them don’t even have any religion. Yet their economy has been thriving for decades.

But look at a few South American countries. Like the Philippines, there’s a lot of religion and poverty there too.

So here are my questions:

· Why so much God and poverty in our country?· Does a certain brand of religion cause poverty?· Or am I missing something here?

I just preached in Jakarta and Singapore—and brought my Mom with me. Sure, she had salt and pepper hair. And a few more wrinkles on her face. Sure, she had her metal cane. And walked slower than I did.But Mom followed my crazy schedule.We arrived midnight in Jakarta. Slept a bit. By morning, I gave my seminar while my Jakarta friends toured Mom around the city—malls, the cathedral, etc. In the evening, she watched my Concert. We slept after midnight again like she was a teenager from a late night party.The next day, we woke up early for my morning talk. After that, while I attended more meetings, my friends whisked Mom away to shop. This included a cable car ride at the amusement park!That night, she slept by midnight. Again!The next morning, we flew to Singapore. There, Mom attended my seminars. But in between, she went around Singapore. And would you believe? This 83-year old woman even rode a gigantic Ferris wheel! Now tell me: How many of you know of women her age still riding Ferris wheels?If You’re Alive, Why Not Be Really Alive?Mom is teaching me how to be really alive.Now don’t misunderstand me.Mom has her moments of deep sorrow.Mom lost Dad last year.So every now and then, she cries a lot.But she’s made a decision that while she’s alive, she’ll live it to the full.While she’s alive, she’ll enjoy life the way she wants to.I believe Mom has a “Joy List”—things that she really enjoys doing. I don’t know if she ever wrote it down on paper, but I’m absolutely sure she has it written down in her heart. Here is her “Joy List”:· Go to Mass everyday.· Pray daily before the Blessed Sacrament.· Have happy meals with her children and grandchildren, especially with her favorite son. (Ahem.)· Watch EWTN on TV everyday—after my TV shows of course.· Chat with her friends on the phone. Most of her old friends are now in Heaven. So she had to make new friends—twenty and thirty years younger than her.· Listen to my talks and laugh at my jokes—even if she has heard them a hundred times already.· Ride Cable Cars in Indonesia and giant Ferris Wheels in Singapore! Her philosophy: “If you’re alive, why not be really alive?”My Joy ListLike Mom, I love life. I really do!I’m not into Ferris Wheels though.But I wrote down my own “Joy List”.Here it is…· I want to laugh more often.· I want to date my wife more often than my minimum of once a week. I just love being with her.· I want to spend at least 2 hours each day to read books! To drink knowledge and inspiration from the best of the best.· I want to feel my sweat more. I grew up not very athletic, but that’s been changing these past years. I want to exercise more. I want to learn Tennis, Badminton, and Swimming.· I want to take more “5-day writing breaks” in a beach or mountaintop at least once a month.· I want to play with my kids more often! I’ve got the greatest boys in the world.· I want to take long vacations with family and friends 3 times a year.· I want to have more lunches with my mentors.· I want to earn ten times what I’m earning now.· I want to share more practical wisdom to others—so people will know how to live with more love, happiness, and abundance.· I want to share my wealth through my businesses and ministries.· I want to pray more under the warmth of the sun each morning, surrounded by a lovely garden.Friend, it’s your turn.Ask yourself this simple question: What gives you joy?Write it down.Big joys. Small joys. Write them all down.Don’t live passively.Don’t live your days on autopilot, forever stuck on your routine.Fill your life with as much happiness as you can.Live your life deliberately.Here’s my belief: People cannot give what they don’t have. If you don’t respect yourself, love yourself, and meet your needs for joy, how can you do the same for others? The holy saint is a happy saint.Make your own Joy List today.What makes you happy?May your dreams come true, Bo Sanchez