Badgers are Irish, their last name's O'Hara.
One side's mascapone the other's mascara.Uncle Stanley

Uncle Stanley had some pants, he kept them in his pocket.
He went to Cape Canaveral and launched them in a rocket.
They zoomed into the starry sky - the universe was vast.
T'was at this point he realised they still were on his arse.

One day I met dear Santa he was sitting on his sack
I said, "Would it be better if you laid down on your back?"
He smiled and said, "It's nicer cos these presents make me grin
And it's better 'cos with modern toys they keep the batteries in."

Stamping Little Michael has a donkey by his knee
Cos he can't afford a guide dog for to help him with to see
Though people on the streets and such may call him git and crass
Young Michael has the privilege of seeing through his ass.

Supernatural barn owls are living in my head
They've made a tiny nesting place and built a tiny bed.
In summer-time they go abroad, in winter they stay here
It seems that supernatural owls are really not that queer.

Tensions with my Daphne are coming to a head
She never will go out with me nor ever come to bed
I thought we'd go that extra mile and finally get wed
The ouija board said get a life and also Daphne`s dead

This morning I visited Friends Reunited.
Some names I recalled left me highly delighted.
Others were not ones I`d really call better friends
It`s a shame that they hadn`t all met with some bitter ends.