Friday, March 20, 2015

Just remember to yell 'Surprise!'

How is a proposed law that would make being gay a capital offense not, in and of itself illegal? Also, how am I just hearing about Matthew McLaughlin now?

Pictured: The surface of Mars where, apparently, I've been living for the last month.

Huntington Beach, famous for its surf,
sun and rabid-foam religious fervor.

Let's start with the who first. Matthew McLaughlin is an attorney from Huntington Beach (the one in California, I checked) who, back on March 2nd filed a proposal for a ballot initiative with the California Attorney General's Office called the Sodomite Suppression Act which, I shit you not, calls for the immediate execution of gays and lesbians, you know, because gay stuff makes God wrathful and you saw what happened to Sodom and Gomorra. No really, that's in there.

"Can't we just shoot him up with horsetranquilizer and lock him in a room?"

-AG Kamala Harris,

looking for an out

Clearly this guy is batshit insane and thousands have already called for him to be disbarred on the grounds that he's a homophobic shit-heel, but according to this, the State Attorney General still has to go through the motions as though this was a totally normal referendum. Because he filed all the proper paperwork and turned in the $200 fee, AG Kamala Harris who, incidentally, is running for Senate, now has to take McLaughlin's hate-filled rambling proposal, summarize it and hand it back to him and he can go collect signatures.

So obviously, it's always going to be illegal to murder people, even if God tells you to and even if you have a petition. Still, it's incredibly fucked up that there's even a chance that people are going to be knocking on doors asking Californians to sign up if they'd like to see a kill the gays option on the ballot in 2016. Holy shit, ballot initiatives, right?

Oh, and if they do go door to door, we should all stage elaborate gay orgy scenes
for the people collecting signatures to walk into. Like, even if you're not gay, invite
some friends over, wait for the doorbell and take your places. It'll be hilarious.