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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fox News is running this photo of Jessica Simpson today with the headline:

"Jessica Simpson Shocks Fans With Fuller Figure!"

OK. First, why am I reading Fox News. The answer to that is twofold.

Number one, I need to be on top of any and all terror threats.

Number two, CNN probably won't report on the woman who gave birth into her sweatpants, which is probably my favorite Fox news story of all time.

But back to Jessica. Perez Hilton claims: "Jess got fat!" Is this fat? Really? You're going to show this to someone who doesn't know celebrities and ask them what they think and they're gonna say "I don't know- it's some fat girl"???????

Badonkadonk<------------

Look- the high-waisted jean is really not meant for us curvy girls, for sure. When you have big boobs, you don't want to shorten the distance between waistband and underwire.

But it's just a poor fashion choice, people.

It's not like she caught the Fat Virus . (!) Did you read about this yesterday?????

Scientists are claiming you can "catch" fatness the same way you catch a cold. Bizarre, but I'm all for new excuses.

I agree. It's those pants! I saw her in concert a couple of weeks ago. (She opened for the band I was there to see.) I thought she looked really good ... far, far, far from fat. Now her singing was a different thing altogether ... far, far, far from good.

Jessica fat!? Sure, she gained a few, but now she is normal!! Hollywood is a weird place where you are fat at 100 lbs! Anyway, I have to admit...the outfit...hideous! The 2 leopard belts and Mom jeans...ugh!

I am curious...how is her career going if she is resorting to singing at Chili cookoff's in Tampa? Time for a new agent (and stylist)!

I suppose it would depend on who they are comparing her to...if it's the Olsen twins, yes she seems a bit thick. If it's Carnie Wilson, she's normal weight.However, no woman should be wearing those jeans. Not flattering at all!

A freakin MEN! Unflattering pants is one thing- calling her fat is sending the wrong message to my girls that will inevitably be suffering from eating disorders in the next 5 years if I don't stand up!

I'm sure it's a crock of shit, but I like the idea of an excuse of why I'm getting fat- I caught it (yeah, I caught it from not going to the gym in months and eating every cookie and cake put in front of my face in the last two months!)

...ps... the high waisted pants are only for those who don't even need bras when they sneeze... they are the only people alive that can possibly wear them.. this is why people fell for this fashion abomination in the first place ~ models have no tits.

The next we hear of Jessica Simpson is that she has lost down to 90 lbs and looks "fabulous"!Surely she has mirrors in her mansion~ looks like she would use them! WE do! And we don't have stylists dressing us!

Well if she's fat, then I guess they are going to have to call the paramedics on me in the morning to help me get out of bed. Maybe they can saw through my walls and roll me into my son's room when he's ready to get up. As for what happens the rest of the day? I guess I'll just go lay back in bed.

Why can't celebrities dress themselves. Didn't they sit and make fun of celebrities before they became famous? Hello-those pants shouldn't even be sold. It is a crime. And if you are taking a picture below the subject, of course they will look bigger. I must have sat in a pile of snot to catch the fat I've got........