Lizzy slept very well. The “pink moon bath” was a complete success. All was fine and grand until I gave her the Varicella 10M dose. Within 1 hour she was fussy and upset. Believe me, these moments are nothing like before, but they still can be challenging. 30 minutes went by and she threw up. I felt her forehead and she was very warm. Elizabeth threw up one more time and after that she was great! No warm body, no nothing. Go figure. Elizabeth has not thrown up after a remedy dosing in a very long time. I guesstimate about 3 years. This Varicella 10M is not easy for her. The wonderful part is, the aggravation did not last more than 1 hour. Thank God.

After that, she was very happy, verbal, compliant and her old self again. Thank God these minor setbacks are short-lived and not too intense. I look back on those days with amazement. How do we ever get through it? Love for our child, endurance, patience and lots of praying. If I do not P R A Y I become P R E Y. My doubts and fears take over and the battle begins. I begin to battle with myself. Am I doing enough for Elizabeth, Todd and the kids? Am I seeing everything that I need to see? Am I going to repeat past mistakes? Oh brother!! I get tired just typing the words. These moments would completely undermine my ability to be the person that I aspire to be. What a waste of time. Through the grace of God I do not allow this to happen as much as I used to.

Amelia 05 21 2012

Saturday was Amelia’s 19th birthday. My mom and I purchased a new sewing machine for her and she was delighted. Her interests have been leading in this direction for quite some time. Now she can make all of the cool stuff she has been dreaming about. I do not sew at all so she is flying solo. Though I am willing to help, she is venturing out into the unknown, on her own. That’s what growing up is all about.

As Amelia explored her new gift Elizabeth spied the empty box. She took it and dragged it off to play with. She sat in it, put her stuffed toys in it and had a blast. Kids and boxes. So many times over the years I wondered why I even purchased the contents. My kids love big boxes. Their imagination takes over and hours of fun and fights take place.

Matthew and Katie 05 21 2012

I love how resourceful they can be. Boy, this mindset sure has come in handy when it comes to raising 9 kids. Especially one with autism. Sometimes there is not money for therapies, aps, ipads, trampolines, swings whatever. But The Lord will provide. As I reflect upon this so-called dilemma, I realize that it must not be the right time for such things. Or I need to find another way to fill the need. If the doors continue to close, I let it go for a while. In the beginning of our journey, we had Elizabeth in every therapy available to us. I believed then, that it had to happen NOW! She needs this NOW! I just wanted her to get better and help her as much as possible. Though my heart was in the right place, it was not what she NEEDED yet. God knows better than I. So if we REALLY NEED IT, it will happen at the right time. Patience has never been one of my strong points. Slowly I am getting better about it. Wanting to help so badly I lose focus from time to time. After having a pity party, a good cry and doing some heavy praying I feel more patient. Stop, pray and wait. It is the best way for me to handle everything.

Queen Annes Lace

Lizzy continues to do well 2 days after her dose of 10M. She will receive one more dose tomorrow and then we will watch and wait again. Will speak to her homeopath next week so we can decide on the next step for Elizabeth. Until then I will continue with her supplements, baths, school, exercise and diet. The days are short and the list is long but we are getting most of it done. Triage. Some things are unintentionally forgotten but we always manage to get it done eventually.

May God grant us the strength, endurance and abilities that we need to help our precious gifts from God. Whether it is 9 kids or 1. It is a labor of love that is challenging and rewarding. Without them we would not be the people we hope to be.