Conspiracy 101

It’s not my fault I got detention. I didn’t do anything. That teacher just hates me.

This is not your first detention. I have this feeling that’s not the whole story.

Right. The teacher hates me. All the teachers hate me. They just give me detention all the time for no reason.

No reason?

No! I don’t actually earn any of my detentions. They just give them to me because they hate me.

I’m looking at your detention list. Each of your detentions comes from a different teacher. You’re the only element in common between all of these – are you really trying to tell me it has nothing to do with you?

Yes. All the teachers hate me. They’re all out to get me.

[Too exasperated at this point]: Ahh yes, you’ve figured us out. We actually did have a meeting before school started, where we sat down and discussed which kid we should target this year. We chose you. All the teachers are going out of their way to get you in trouble for no reason, as often as possible. It’s part of our plan.