"I've seen BATTLEFIELD EARTH, and this movie is no BATTLEFIELD EARTH 2"

Of course, it's not LORD OF THE RINGS either, although I swear to God it's certainly trying to be with all of the Middle Earth Orc armor the people wear in this thing. Looking nothing like PITCH BLACK, and only loosely following the plot threads of that film, RIDDICK picks up five years later with the titular hero on the run again from bounty hunters.

After a rather fun introductory action-chase sequence across the surface of a frozen planet, Riddick (Vin Diesel) ends up on the planet Helion, where he tracks down the man who sent the bounty hunters after him in the first place - Imam (Keith David), one of the survivors from the previous film. After explaining to Riddick that he sent the bounty hunters after him because he knew Riddick would not come on his own, he pleads with Riddick to help his people fight an encroaching invasion of the "Necromongers". This is a race of semi-zombified religious zealots who dress like the aforementioned orcs and are basically just an uninspired rehash of The Borg, who have already been drudged up as filler episode villains in every series of the creatively bankrupt Star Trek franchise since the Next Generation years.

Naturally, Riddick has no interest in fighting a war for the people of Helion, although he does decide to lend a hand and kill a few dozen of the invading Necromongers before being captured by bounty hunter Toombs (Nick Chinlund), who he'd left for dead back on that ice planet after the opening credits. They take him to the prison planet that bears the rather silly name of "Crematoria" (come to think of it, most of the names in this thing are pretty silly) in order to collect the bounty. While in prison, he is reunited with "Jack", who was a scrawny post-pubescent girl posing as a boy in the first film, but who has now suddenly grown up (in the space of five years, mind you) into a sexy, busty, slinky ass-kicking chick who now goes by the name of Kyra (Alexa Davalos). Never mind the fact that it's obviously not the same actress, but it doesn't even remotely resemble the same character.

At any rate, Riddick and Kyra bust out of jail with the goal of stealing a ship. When she is captured by Necros and taken back to Helion, Riddick gives chase towards the inevitable showdown between himself and the head necromonger, the Lord Marshal (Colm Feore).

Although the plot of Riddick is highly derivative and simplistic, it does boast some decent action scenes and some fantastic visuals - even if much of the production design appears to be the bastard offshoot of Lord of the Rings and David Lynch's Dune. Most of the supporting performances range from bland (Judi Dench) to overwrought (Thandie Newton). But although Diesel is as wooden as ever, he carries himself with just enough bad-assity, and pulls off just enough solid one-liners, to make his performance a treat by comparison. Chinlund also gives some much-needed comedic relief as the smart-ass bounty hunter.

Alas, the problem with Riddick is that whenever there isn't some big epic visual of marauding spaceships or flame-engulfed alien landscapes, or whenever Riddick isn't cracking wise and kicking ass, the movie is slow and tedious, putting no new spin on its sci-fi trappings that have already been rehashed dozens of times. Plot ideas are introduced, only to be mishandled or just brushed aside (what the fuck is an UNDERVERSE???), and most of the dialogue that isn't laden with one-liners is stilted. This is really a disappointment coming from David Twohy, whose previous works of Pitch Black and the criminally underexposed Below exhibited both writing and a directorial vision that were much crisper than anything found in Riddick

Ultimately, RIDDICK is much like its leading man - fun to watch while in action, but not so fun once it stands still again. Boasting just enough action, space-opera vistas, and wisecracks to make for some forgettable summer movie fare, the overall experience of RIDDICK is certainly nothing that anyone need bother to write any chronicles about.