Can anyone help? We have a very small Alanon Family Group in a rural area. We are missing some of the guidelines for leading a meeting. At other meetings, I know that they have the sheets to follow such as the "Alanon Preamble", meeting topics, suggested closing, suggested prayers, etc. Where can I get...

Hi, hon it depends on the amount the truck is when you buy it and who
finances it for you.
Be careful, have a knowledgeable man or woman with you when
you look for one.
I love my older truck.
I hope you find the vehicle ya need. You can check out the best
ones on the net.
love,debilyn

In the past I've mostly just read other people's posts, but since my A has decided to make some major changes in his life, I decided I should probably do the same. After ten years together, five married, I've watched him spend the majority of him time drinking, smoking pot, doing coke, and abusin...

? No you silly, it is only they way you took it. I honestly did not
understand what you were saying. I still don't. I thought maybe
you accidently got me mixed up with some one else.
You started the post with "Gretchen" for petes sake.
I don't do sharp retorts, is not my style at all. I have told yo...

Hi,
Do you remember me??
It has been a long t​ime, since I have posted on this message board.&nb​sp; I had the hardest time to
find the message ​board again, and especially to register under the ​name I had used before.
I saw John's name, and I​ knew that I was back to the message board I knew ​so w...

My meeting was tonight and I was so looking forward to it as we had a AA speaker tonight and knew I needed to here what this person had to say. I never in a million years figured it would affect me so deeply or touch so many things in ME. I saw me in this speaker as a young teen, and it scared me. I also got so...

Thanks for all who responded so far. Wanted to tell you-I find myself drawn back to the computer, back to this website. I called my mom today, shared with her some insights you have given. She says she is proud of me, and she knew all along. Huh... She says she understands, and that my father spent most of h...

I'm a dog owner, (like cats too). My vet tells me when you pet, play, walk your dog, that something occurs. When they are paid attention, endorphins (a good hormonal chemical) is released. Once released, they can't help but feel better.
Another thing I read in ODAT May3r...

After so much time living alone with my problem, I found you on the internet. I have been reading posts most of the morning. I feel a little better already-did not realize there were so many others like myself.
My husband and I are in our mid-30's, with two teen girls living at home. We have been married...

Hello,I am very new to all of this and am hoping to get some insight and help.My daughter 22yr old hs been clean and sober for 6mths- she was living in sober living and doing very well.Recently she got her own apartment(she works and has a great job)we have been very proud of her. Now i find...

I found these two poems in a magazine. I really like them and thought I would share.
I think even the harshest truths, when broken down, have the ability to inspire, motivate and change lives for the better.It's in the in-between that the real magic happens. The se...

I just wanted to write on this today, to clear my ​head. I have to constantly let myself know t​hat the only thing that gives me pain, so my prece​ption. And I sure know how to do that, when ​I get into my dis ease. I have just finished​ a 2 year project and it will be sent to the print​ers w... ​ ​

I haven't heard from my wife since last Sat morning. She was to go into a treatment facility for 2 or 3 week program.
Is it normal that once in the program they don't allow you to contact outside friends and family? No one has heard from her, not myself, her children, or her best frie...

Hello friends,
My alcoholic 20 year old daughter has been in an inpatient treatment center for 2 months now. She is being transitioned into her new apartment by the treatment center this week. She stays at her apartment one night and then the center the next night,,etc.
Yesterday, she had...

man! i am so thrilled at all the support i received in all of your posts! thank you all soo much.
first, i HAVE checked our local meetings, and they frown on children, at least children my son's age(6), being in meetings,and to be honest, i don't want him sitting in these meetings hearing...

Okay I was ready to talk. I was tired of the secret.
i went to the NYC car show with my family yesterday and I told them about my husbands alcoholism.
And alanon. And how I was working on myself.
they said that my brother was an alcoholic and they blamed his wife - nice.
Then I explained t...

I am 18 years old. I am an only child. My mom drank when I was a little kid, but I didn't know. Then she got help and quit. When I was about 8 years old she got in a relationship with a drinker and started drinking again. She has not stopped. She is still with the guy she got into a relationship with when I was 8. I l...

I love to hear people's personal slogans that work for them Do you have any to share--please do!!
I can relate to the recent shares I heard at a meeting on the personal slogan: JADEó(do not Justify-Argue-Defend or Eplain) I was youngest in family & had all these "adults" ordering me around and...

Hi
Right now I am having a really hard time with guilt. In my head I know it is not mine, but my heart hurts, and I am angry that I am feeling this way.
My Mother-In Law called me today, her and I have not had a great relationship in the past, but I have been trying, and I know they are trying in their own way. S...

I went to my first Alanon meeting back in CT the end of 2002 when I moved back to live with my parents at 43 years old. Before I go any further let me just say that both my grandfathers died due to alcoholism. One before I was born from cirrhosis, he was only in his 50's, the other spent 10 years in...

I would like some suggestions about talking to an ​alcoholic and whether it's wrong to tell him how y​ou feel about things he's done and what you are ti​red of. Does saying things mean that there's somet​hing wrong with you, like you're nuts or psycho? I​ get told that when I say anything to him after he​ d...

Just wanted to take this opportunity to wish all of you, my family of choice, a joyous Easter day.
Let us all take time to day to be grateful for the gifts we have been given, and spend some time visiting with our HP's today.
Love and Peace to you all.
David

My dogs start each day new, with love & loyalt​y to me, no matter what has occured yesterday.&nbs​p;
"Though no one can go back & make a bran​d new start, anyone can start from now & make ​a brand new end." &nb​sp; &n...

Hi All - I read lots of good ESH on this board. Please feel free to join us on the Step Board and share how the Steps work in your lives.
We need your support, your love and your shares.
Ya'll come.
Love and hugs - Dot

I think coming into alanon for the first time, that I was looking for something that I didn't know I needed. I knew I needed the support of others who have been in my situation, and the comfort of people who understand the effects of alcoholism. But deep down I also needed hope. Hope that my life wou...

My wife and I have a 31 year old son who is the A in our lives. He's a wonderful man and we love him dearly. We've been guilty of helping way too much going back to his high school days (and probably earlier). He's been through detox 4 times now. He's good at it and kind of likes the process.
Two months ago we s...

I am new to the program and feel very alone my qualifier is my husband who has been in and out of sobriety about 1 year ago he went into treatment for 28 days when he came home things were still shaky and he relapsed . My husband also suffers from depression through this all i have tried to remain supportive t...

on 3/25/05 12:50 AM, Potter's Eden at debilynseden@centurytel.net wrote:
> oh man, We have hail here like crazy and ya know what hail turns into when it
> melts on to the ground and mixes with dirt... the M word. OMG
>
> Yesterday I got approved for a car loan, my modification money is being saved
...> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

First let me say- What a great business meeting! Thanks so much Shimo and Cindy and everyone else! There ended up being a lengthy discussion about hugging someone during their share. It was great to hear all of the different perspectives being shared. I think that the fact that we share openly with eac...

[I think the word alanoner could be substitued here]."There is in every true woman's heart a heavenly fire which, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." ---Washington Irving

This is the question that is in my head. 32 years with my daughter and now she has a 7 year old sons. She wants to come home again and this is about the 5th time. She lives in Oregon, so moving back and forth is days of planning, I live in AZ, money, problem solving and yelling and screamin...

Hello Kismet and All,
Recently, I talked to you Kis in PM, private message and vented. While venting to you I tried to be honest, yet my honesty probably came out side ways at you too. I would like to apologize and make amends to you knowing that you understand and probably don't th...

I've read a few responses on the board lately that talk about detaching with love. How exactly do you do that. Anyone have any comments on it. I keep trying to detach but I get the I just don't care phrase in my head but the fact is that I do care - that's why I get anxious and worrie...

My husband and I had a bit of a conversation if you could call it that. We were discussing what his reastion would be if I flat out told him that he needed to get sober and needed help. Well.. that did not go over well he flat out said then see ya! Totally not what someone in my situation wants to here. So I never...

I learned a great lesson yesterday. I learned how much I value honesty. I had a situation that turned very ugly despite my attempts to avoid it. It all stemed from the fact that people had not been honest with me or with other people. I have become a very open and honest person through the program and didn'...

I wrote a post a little while ago, and on reading it back, I realize that I was venting, and getting aggravated and letting everything get to me.
I did some thinking, and some crying and some more feeling sorry for myself, and things seem a lot clearer. I have been accused by my in-laws of being selfish a...

Hello,
These individuals know who I am talking about. I have your isp numbers and I am aware that you are using different names at different times and that yesterday when the OP computer was off, you were messing with me using others names! This needs to stop. I am a hurting person who cam...

When I came to alanon, I thought that it was a program to help me help my alcoholic stay sober. Imagine my surprise when I discover that it is a program to help me help me. Did I need help? Now that my alcoholic is sober, everything is fine, right??? Wrong!!! I was married...

Ever wonder about the abbreviation A.S.A.P.? Generally we think of it in terms of even more hurry and stress in our lives. Maybe if we think of this abbreviation in a different manner, we will begin to find a new way to deal with those rough days along the way.************* There's work to do, deadlines...

I am in a horible mood. Its my Birthday tomorrow and it is always so upsetting for me and of course it began tonight. My husbands friend called me (his birthday too) and told me that my husband has crashed on his couch as he had celebrated the friends birthday pretty hard. So I wont even get a goodmorning bd...

This is just getting so old. Wednesday morning my A boyfriend actually wanted to discuss why I'm so "detached" and/or depresed. So I told him all the ugly things he does and calls me when he's drunk. He apologizes and says he doesn't mean it, won't do it again, etc. etc etc.&n...

I just read a reply that you made to a post and you talked about your farm and your animals and your remodeling and it just totally lifted my spirit.
I would slow down to look at your pot bellied pig too!
You are always so positive!!!!
Thank you!!!!!!!

I am what I consider to be a very private person. I was raised in a home where you were TOLD not to discuss family business with outsiders.
That is still very dominant in my thinking.
But overtaking this is my pain. So I became sick and tired last July of the pain from living with an alcoholi...

After 3 weeks in psych ward, my wife was home Friday. We didn't talk much and I had to leave for the weekend for other commitments. She stayed home alone.
I tried to call her yesterday, both at home and on her cell, but could not reach her and received no call back.
It isa struggle to let go...

Yesterday I went to my local library nad checked out some books that I thought would help me. Here are the titles and authors:
Hope for children of Alcoholics Alateen(no author known)
the Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome: From Discovery to Recovery(by Wayne Kritsberg)
Alcoholi...

Hi everyone
sorry i haven't posted in awhile. My husband has been sober for 46 days today. For me I have gotten a sponsor who is making me do the steps, I am still on step one but I am taking my time. I have to now write a gratitude list everyday until thur, I will problary always have to do it, but right now I k...

Here I am again - the ray of sunshine whose situation seems to get worse each day..! The saga continues with my husband since being out of treatment for one week.
He is still sleeping at his mothers. He told me he doesn't know what he wants, he feels as if he has no purpose in li...

of anything that helps an a through detox? My husband, God love him, is trying to quit. He still says that he doesn't think that AA would help him.......and I have learned enough in Al Anon to know that I can't force it. Hopefully, he'll get there when his HP/God wants him to.
...

Was prompted by a posting from another to download a few of the Speaker Tapes (look up) and was glad I did. Have listened to Ajit and Babs (lol initally thought our Babs) so far and found they we were well worth the download time. Ajit was pretty entertaining, but he hit on some things I see in myself. give t...

Hello again,
I feel like I never have good news to report when I come here and feel as though I should since my husband has finally come out of treatment.
No, not gonna happen. He has started all the same stuff he was doing before he left, only I truly believe without the help of booze.&nb...

Ok. I've posted a couple messages before and now I need some help because I just don't know what to do.
The short version of my problem is this:
I'm getting married in 7 months in the caribbean and my boyfriend and I are paying for our families to join us. There is a group of 12 going...

Hey there,
After 2+ years of my hub drinking, I finally broke down & ended up here. I must admit at the time I came here, I was very distraught, lost, depressed. Coming here was a trigger for my husband. Somehow me going for help triggered him to stop drinking. It should...

Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word "GUIDANCE", I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and...

Picked wife up from rehab yesterday. Myself and the kids were happy to have her home. She seems in good spirits and doing well. I wish I could say same for me, hum I felt agitated yesterday for some reason. I donít really know what was up with me because I could not put a finger on it, so I kept fairly silent la...

....The help I CAN give is to offer the thought that no one NEEDS to feel trapped--that we do have choices in every situation. Todays Reminder I do not know what course of action is right for anyone else. I can offer only comfort and compassion, and the good...

I am responsible for...
from "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie
I am responsible for myself.
I am responsible for leading or not living my life.
I am responsible for tending to my spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial well-being.
I am responsible for identifying an...

This post is not alanon lit at all, sorry. Greta, I thought this might help you with your recent loss.
Lots of love, Trina aka Mastiff
The Rainbow Bridge Poem
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hi...