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Topic: Want a fry with that? (Read 9040 times)

Isn't it nice when you can put something into practice and see it work! It wasn't the exact phrase but it was close enough. And the best part was that it just flowed out of my mouth without pause.

So this particular family member likes to tease me, has for years, esp when we are in this particular group. I moved away a few years ago so being in this particular group is now a rare occurrence.

Yesterday was one of those rare moments.

How a typical past experience would go:

Family member: Oh, I was going to ask for a fry but I know how you are. You'd get mad.Me: I wouldn't get mad. You can have some.Family member: Well, remember last time when I got a fry and you yelled at me? Me: I never did that. Family member: (goes on to describe and exaggerate or sometimes create a situation where I was a big meanie)Me: (I start to defend myself and the family member either continues to argue or laughs as if it's a big joke and I come away from the situation frustrated and feeling unheard)

This is just a simple example of how this particular family member can sometimes make me feel. My DH's advice to "just ignore it and let it go" often leaves me feeling frustrated.

Yesterday, it started to happen again only this time, without even thinking about it, I put an end to it.

Family member: Oh, I was going to ask for a fry but I know how you are. You'd get mad.Me: Why would I do that?Family member: I don't know. (seems confused as to how to answer the question and decides to move on)

While I'm glad it works for you I don't see how it was much different to the original - I'd have still met it with 'because last time .......' (if I wanted to go down that road)

The important thing for me was that it changed the course of discussion cause the family member didn't know how to respond. Now you're right, maybe next time they'll come back with "because last time..." but I'm sure it'll be okay because I've got plenty of eHell tricks up my sleeve.

The important thing for me was that I felt I reset the conversation, even if it only works that one time.