Lazy, Sassy, and Gay

Vermontino

Super Agent Fred and I are off to Vermont tomorrow. Have you heard of Vermont? I understand it’s this adorable little state, popular with lesbians and cheese enthusiasts. And then, at the other end of the spectrum, I’m going to visit my father in the old folks’ home he just moved into in Houston. Whee. In fact, Super whee.

In unrelated news, the woman who trims the nails of Saki, my Evil and Adorable Cat, warmly recommended giving him a bath the last time we went in for is pedicure. A cat. A bath. A catbath. Doesn’t that just seem to be asking for trouble. After all, Saki barely tolerates going in to have his razorlike talons nipped down. I’m sure washing him off would only lead to sulking and cat turds in my bed. We have filed this under “Ideas, Bad.”

Here’s a good idea:

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About mrpeenee

A former bon vivant and terror of a number of New Orleans bars in the mad, gay 1980s, I'm now quietly retired and widowed in San Francisco. I have a crooked nose due to an unfortunate Frisbee accident.

Let Saki's mani/pedi lady b-a-t-h-e him while you're gone. Plan to arrive back home about 2 days after the blood has congealed. Be sure to bring Saki some white Cheddar from Vermont to make amends and make sure he thinks it was the late main/pedi lady's idea.

Be safe during your travels, and remind your dad to be safe too. I'm sure you don't want him knocking up one of those old broads at the home. . . .;-)