HOW to lose friends and influence people? Well, trying to compile the definitive top 50 post-War North strikers is a good place to start.

You can’t really win. Put Alan Shearer top of the list and you get accused of bias, but this is an impartial take on the players who have made the biggest impact on our biggest teams, which means it is not just about who is more prolific.

Players who have dragged their teams out of a rut – such as Kevin Keegan in the 1980s – have been given greater significance, while there is also a sad realisation that I can’t fit everyone in.

Glaring omissions already thrown at me include Paul Goddard and Billy Hughes, but I had to end the list somewhere.

Shearer tops it as he really was a Goliath at home and abroad but, if anything, this whole exercise just proves what a fantastic tradition of striking talent we have in this region . . .

FOOTBALL’S first £500,000 man when he left to go to West Brom, he was worth his weight in gold to Boro during a decade of loyal, superb service.

A lethal marksman, he even disproved the rule of never returning to your former hunting ground.

28: ALAN WALSH (Boro 1977, 0-3, Darlington, 1978-83, 100-279)

A LETHAL left foot made him arguably the Quakers’ greatest ever player.

His late Seventies spell saw him surge to the top of Darlington’s top all-time scorer list, but it was four against hometown club Hartlepool that really seared him into Quakers fans’ collective consciousness.

Born striker.

27: JOHN TUDOR (Newcastle, 1970-6, 53-161)

HALLELUJAH, John Tudor! Supermac’s partner in crime, but a great player in his own right.

A relentless menace to opposition defenders, The Evening Chronicle’s John Gibson memorably wrote a few years back that he and Macdonald prospered in an era where “defenders came with health warnings”.

Refused to move to Toon without his brother Ted, who played alongside him in the 1952 FA Cup final, and that proved a masterstroke for Newcastle, who benefited from his goals.

One of the most decorated strikers on the list, he was a two-time FA Cup winner.

15: ANDY COLE (Newcastle, 1993-5, 55-70; S’land, 2007 -08) 0-7)

AS is borne out by his superb record, Cole was just a predator. A £1.75m gamble from Kevin Keegan that paid off spectacularly, the goal ace was a triumph of positional sense, pace and ice-cool finishing.

Was superb in the second tier promotion season before playing a key role in Newcastle’s Entertainers era too.

IT is a rare man who manages to obscure the North East’s tribal loyalties and inspire affection across either side of the River Tyne, but Pop Robson was one such man.

A class act with razor-sharp instincts, he was also fantastic for Carlisle.

13: LEN WHITE (Newcastle, 1952-62, 197-245)

THIRD in the list of Newcastle’s all-time top goalscorers, he was a combination of power – which all top forwards had to have back then – and a glorious close control which meant he hardly ever surrendered possession.

Helped United to FA Cup final victory in 1955 and afterwards stepped out of Jackie Milburn’s shadow to establish himself as a Toon great.

12: BERNIE SLAVEN (Boro 1985-93, 119-307; Darlington 94-95, 7-37)

TEAM-mate Stephen Pears once said the “Wolfman” used to “pass the ball into the net”.

A hero of the 1986-87 season, which saw Boro rise from the despair of being locked out of Ayresome Park to win promotion from Division Three, his signing represented the best £25,000 Boro have ever spent.

11: NIALL QUINN (Sunderland 1996-2002, 69-220)

IT says it all about the quality in this list that the immensely popular Irishman is not quite in the top 10.

But what a player he was – unbeatable in the air and a firm fans’ favourite for the way he put his heart and soul into every performance.

Any team would benefit from having a target man of Quinn’s calibre in their ranks.

10: JOHN HICKTON (Boro 1966-78, 159-415)

ONE-time postmaster who always delivered for Boro.

A one-time centre-back, it was manager Stan Anderson who took the decision to send him up front and Boro never looked back.

They ended up calling him King John – and it was a fitting tribute to a man who performed miracles on Teesside.

With an ego the size of a planet he’d expect to be at the peak of this list, but because most of his goals weren’t at the top level he’ll have to settle for third.

Still, what a record – very close to the magic goal-a-game mark. Clearly a cut above.

2: JACKIE MILBURN (Newcastle 1943-57, (177 goals, 353 games)

WOR Jackie played a huge part in creating the myth of the Newcastle No 9, winning three FA Cups in five years and breaking goalscoring records everywhere he went.

No less than the great Sir Bobby Charlton said of him: “He reminded me of a wave breaking, he would just surge past people with his incredible pace”.

Idolised in these parts.

1: ALAN SHEARER (Newcastle, 1996-2006) (148 goals, 303 games)

WITH apologies to Black Cats, Teessiders, Cumbrians, Quakers and Poolies, Shearer was simply the best. The Gosforth sheet metal worker’s son is not only the North East’s best goalscorer, he’s one of England’s too.

A born leader, he was captain and talisman of Newcastle for a decade when they were fighting it out for England’s top honours. And he was replicating those feats on the international stage, too, leading England into Euro and World Cup battle in 1998 and 2000.

Shearer could do it all. Fearsome in the air but with pace too, he scored some simply superb goals and refused to be bullied. A living legend.