November 27, 2010

Sounds like fun right? RIGHT! I think I have peed on approximately 65 pregnancy tests in my life so far. (I just peed on one this morning!) It sounds crazy, I know. But once you do it, you're addicted. And when you have POAS pushers (a.k.a, the ninja's) you have no choice but to POAS multiple times a day.

I started POAS at 2dp5dt (2 days past a 5 day transfer). Normally people don't get a positive until around 5dp5dt, but what fun would it be to wait until day 5? Peeing on day two gives us something to analyze.

I got my first very very faint positive on the night of 2dp5dt. (above) Now, do not be alarmed if you are unable to see it. When you start POAS enough, your eyes will become automatically trained to find the second line.

On 3dp5dt this is what I got: (it looks lighter than the previous day. I've discovered that pee sticks do not like my FMU (first morning urine)).

On the night of 4dp5dt, I took a FRER (first response early result) which is supposed to be the best, most sensitive test. It was BFN (big fat negative). I didn't understand how this was possible. So I ripped open one of my digital tests and peed. Here's the outcome of that one:

I sent this picture to my IF's and got a call instantly! They weren't together when they saw it, which was a little disappointing, but it's hard to be disappointed at all when you just found out you're expecting a baby!!!

Have I mentioned the Ninja's yet?? (Don't ask where this name comes from; it's a very long story)

A little background: When I was newly pregnant with Elliot (my now 15 month old), I joined an online community called Babycenter. If you've never experienced babycenter and you have children, you MUST. GO! NOW...I'll wait......... Isn't it awesome? I joined the August 2009 birth board. There were approximately 5000 or more members on this board; all with babies due in August. Over the first few months I had some encounters with some really amazing (and some not so amazing) women. 15 or so of them (and I) decided to form our own private group to create a smaller, more intimate setting. I can now say, that two years later, these ladies are some of my best friends. I've met over half of them in real life (one of them I met when I went down for my transfer) and I can honestly say they are some of the most amazing people I know. I "talk" to them everyday and have for nearly 2 years. If it weren't for them, I'm not sure I'd be who I am, and where I am today.

Tuesday, the 9th was transfer day. I was nervous now. I hadn't had any nervous feelings up until this point. Lots of things were running through my head, but I made sure to keep them positive. I truly believe that if you have ANY reservations about it, it's not going to work. I didn't have reservations, but more questions. Would it hurt? Would 1 or 2 implant? (they transferred 2 embryo's.) When would I start testing to know?

R&C picked me up from the hotel around 11:30. The clinic told us to be there at 1pm. We decided to grab a light lunch at Panera before we headed over. It was hard for me to eat. My stomach was in knots and all I could think about was the transfer. I managed to scarf down half a sandwich and an apple. I tried to drink a bunch of water because they told me to come with a full bladder.

When we arrived at the clinic I had to fill out a bunch of paperwork. I was shaking during this. I'm not sure why, but I was just so anxious! About 30 minutes later, they called me back. R & C got up and asked if they were to come as well and the nurse looked at me as to ask "Is that okay?" and I said "yes, they're coming". We walked into this small pre-op room. The nurse took my vitals, had me take my meds, and told me to drink 2 full glasses of water. WHAT?? I had already drank a bunch and needed to pee soooo bad. I told her I'd drink one. They were very serious about EVERYTHING. I mean, yes, it's a serious matter, but wow!! I went into the restroom to undress from the waste down and put on a gown, then wrap a blanket around myself. I came out and R & C were in scrubs from head to toe!!! HAHAHA! It was great! We took pictures, had some laughs, etc. The nurses were still very serious and didn't understand what we found so humerus about the situation. (We were wearing blue head scrubs for goodness sake!) A new nurse came and walked me to the operating room. (Yes, it was an ACTUAL operating room.) I'd never experienced this before. Very interesting. I was instructed to get on the OR table and place my butt near the opening in the middle of the table. NOT in it! Just near it. Then a nurse placed my feet in metal stirrups. (I still had the blanket on, thank goodness!) R & C were instructed to stand behind me by my head. (also good!)

We finally got to meet the Doctor! Very friendly guy. He told R & C about their embryos. He then picked the two best looking ones, one of R's, and one of C's. 2 lab guys went to go retrieve the embryos. This took about 5 minutes but felt like an eternity, as I lay there with my feet in stirrups, two guys at my head, 3 nurses at my feet, a Doctor on a chair and my lady parts all out for the world to see. (They could have at least covered me up until the embies were ready!! Sheesh!)

The embies were finally here! The lab guy brought them in, and the doctor used the long, needle like thing to insert them into my uterus! Totally NOT painful at all. I barely felt a thing. We got to watch on the ultrasound monitor to see the catheter going in and releasing the embies. Obviously they were too small to actually see on the monitor but he showed us the air bubble which was the vicinity of where the embies were released. Then I was done! (or so I thought.) They closed me up (haha) and I lay on the table for another few minutes. Two or three nurses then transferred me to a hospital bed. (God knows I couldn't move on my own!! I'd just been operated on!) They then wheeled me to the "post-op" room where a nurse took my vitals. R & C stayed with me the whole time and I'm so happy they did. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

In the post-op room, I was to lay flat for 30-45 minutes. The guys and I talked. We just chit chatted. Suddenly my face started to feel really warm, which was weird because the rest of me was cold. I asked the guys if my face was red. They said yes and it was probably because they had my bed at a decline! Bwahahaha!!! Obviously they wanted to make sure the embies didn't try to get out! (or fall out?) I love that R & C found this as hilarious as I did. After I was done "resting", I was told I could get up, put my clothes back on, and go to the bathroom (WHAT?! They let me PEE??) So I did that. As I walked out of the bathroom to leave, I was scolded by a nurse that I was NOT to walk. There stood a man with a wheelchair. I was to be wheeled to the car. The man with the wheelchair made sure they drove the car right up to me as I was not to take one step. Wow. SO, the guys drove me back to my hotel where I rested for the next 24 hours or so without getting up, except to pee. That was fun! (not!)

We were instructed that I was to be on strict bed-rest for 3 days, then light bed rest following until I got a positive beta (blood) test.

Okay! I just HAD to update! It's been killing me not to say anything about my journey these past few weeks.

We flew down on Saturday the 6th for a transfer on Tuesday the 9th. Spent a lot of time with R and C and got to know each other better. The boys just LOVE them and they are soooooo good with the boys. I just know that they will be amazing parents.

The first night we got there Josh didn't feel well. He stayed in the hotel while I took the boys our with R and C to eat dinner. We had a nice dinner at the Rainforest Cafe and Jack LOVED the elephants. On Sunday Josh was feeling a lot better so we decided to take a drive to the beach (about an hour drive) with the boys and R & C. We had lunch there and let the boys play in the water. It was windy and a bit chilly but they didn't care and loved every minute of it. We got back Sunday afternoon and just stayed around the hotel until dinner, when we met the guys at a quaint little cafe that offered some healthy Mediterranean style meals. Very enjoyable.

Monday, possibly my last day of being 'un-pregnant', was the worst day ever! We spent the morning shopping at the Galleria and got a phone call from C that R was up all night with food poisoning! Eeep! Not an hour later, Jack was complaining of a tummy ache. Uh-oh. So we headed back to the hotel. From then on everything went downhill. Jack was sick, Elliot was sick and I was convinced that I was going to be sick. By some miracle of God, or Buddha, or Allah, I didn't end up getting sick. (The transfer was set for Tuesday and I didn't want to jeopardize anything by getting sick.) It was a pretty rough day and evening, but I have THE most amazing husband in the world. He slept on the pull out couch bed with Jack and Elliot (both of whom were sick) and he let me sleep in the King bed by myself. Seriously. What guy does that? He's truly amazing. Luckily both boys slept fairly well as did I!!

November 4, 2010

Well, we're on our way to transfer!!! We will be leaving on Saturday and meeting C and R at the airport when our flight arrives. The egg retrieval is TODAY and the transfer is set for Tuesday morning. I'm more than excited!! I will need to be on bed rest for the day of the transfer and then light bed rest the following 2 days.

I talked to R about what happens following the transfer. I've obviously never done this before (surrogacy) but I have been pregnant and I know about what happens following conception. Ha! From what I understand, I would be able to get a positive on a pregnancy test as early as 5 days past the transfer. This is very exciting for anyone who knows anything about the 2WW(two week wait) and the glory of POAS(peeing on a stick). Well, I explained to R the options we had. I could take a home pregnancy test and share the results with them immediately, OR I could just wait until the beta test two weeks after the transfer. R said they would want to know as soon as possible, which made me very happy because I don't think I could stand waiting to POAS. I also know that when you're a first time parent, believing a stick of plastic isn't easy. It's more believable when confirmed by an actual doctor. I assured R that I wouldn't tell them it was positive unless I was ABSOLUTELY SURE it was. I've examined plenty of pee-sticks to know the difference so I am confident that it's something I can't mistake.

We also discussed WHEN to tell people. This is where I fully submit to anything they want me to do (within reason). When you're newly pregnant with your first child, many things go through your head. What if it doesn't stick and I miscarry? What if there's something wrong? What if, what if, what if.....Your mind goes to a million places. It's well known that the first trimester is the highest risk for miscarriage to happen therefore many people wait until the first trimester is over to tell people. So we agreed that we wouldn't tell anyone until after the first trimester.

About Me

I am modern mom to two wonderful boys. I am married to my childhood sweetheart and love of my life. I am on a journey to wellness in my personal life and for my family as well.
Why I Blog: I have found that writing in general is very freeing for me. I enjoy writing and the idea that other people are reading what I'm writing moves me. If even just ONE thing I post touches, moves, or helps another human in ways that I have been touched by bloggers, I am pleased. Blogging is my release. And once it's out there, it's free for anyone and everyone.