Length Of Courtship Linked To Happiness

June 5, 1986|By Vincent Bozzi, Health & Fitness News Service

A marriage is more likely to be successful when (a) the partners are older than 25 years at marriage, (b) they date for a relatively long time before marrying or (COLOR) they break up and make up at least once during courtship.

The correct answer is (b), a long courtship. That`s what Kansas State University researchers found when they asked 51 wives how satisfied they were with marriage and what kind of courtship they had. The women, all in their first marriage, ranged in age from 32 to 71 (average age: 44) and had been married an average of 23 years.

The researchers originally thought all three factors might point to a happy marriage, but they found that age at marriage had nothing to do with marital satisfaction. And couples who ``survive`` a breakup during courtship -- even though it forces them to re-evaluate the relationship -- do not necessarily survive in the long haul.

But the relationship between length of courtship and marital happiness remained quite strong. When the researchers divided the women into four groups -- those who had dated less than five months, six to 11 months, one to two years and more than two years -- they found that each group in succession was consistently happier with their marriage than the preceding one.

Looking at it another way, although nearly all the women who dated for more than two years were happily married, wives who dated for less than six months gave the widest variety of answers. Although some short-term daters remained quite happy, as a group they were more likely to regret having married, to say their partners got on their nerves and to say they were unsatisfied with marriage than were long-term daters.

``The results suggest that in mate selection, with longer periods of acquaintance, individuals are able to screen out incompatible partners,`` the researchers say.