It's the clash we've all been waiting for since ... ooh, yesterday at about 9:35pm. Unless you've been waiting for the Manchester United v AC Milan clash, which can be found over here. Chelsea, plunged - yes plunged - into a crisis that has seen them lose a whopping one match in their last 16 outings (or their last one outing, if you're a glass-is-half-empty merchant), arrive at the Nou Camp without Wayne Bridge and Arjen Robben.

However, the big - nay sensational - news is that Damien Duff has made a miraculous recovery from the knee-injury he suffered against Newcastle last Sunday and will take his place in Chelsea's starting line-up at the expense of Eidur Gudjohnsen. Who on earth could have foreseen that development when Jose Mourinho named his starting XI - minus Duff - yesterday? Anyone with half a brain, eh? Oh.

Barcelona boss Frank Rijkaard fields the side Mystic Mourinho predicted in yesterday's pre-match press conference, with Ronaldinho and Samuel Eto'o leading the attack and Deco providing the ammo from midfield.

The teams emerge from the bowels of the Nou Camp, with Barcelona wearing their famous home kit, while Chelsea's players are togged out in predominantly white strips with blue trim and a wide blue stripe down the front of their shirts. Both sides line up for the fancy music, shake hands and ...

1 min: John Terry, who I saw standing in the rain at Sandown races last Thursday with Glen Johnson, Eidur Gudjohnsen and Scott Parker (remember him?) wins the toss and Barcelona kick off playing from right to left.

2 mins: Barcelona are enjoying all the possession early doors, passing and moving, and moving and passing. The ball skims along the floor for the first two minutes with nary a Chelsea player getting a sniff of it.

3 mins: A poor ball from Frank Lampard in midfield allows Eto'o to pounce. He passes to Ronaldinho on the left wing, who cuts inside and trys to curl one around Petr Cech from distance. Wide.

4 mins: Under pressure from Gallas, Eto'o shoots over the bar from the edge of the box after being tee-ed up by Ronaldinho. The Chelsea defence is being made look very ordinary by Barcelona's lightning-fast attacks. Chelsea's only sortie into Barcelona territory so far has seen Joe Cole concede a free-kick for upending Puyol.

6 mins: Jose Mourinho is looking very agitated on the bench and is scribbling away in his little blue notebook. Perhaps he's writing a song, or has just thought of another superlative with which to describe himself in his post-match press conference.

9 mins: Not much of note happening at the moment, with the game having settled down a bit since Barcelona's early onslaught. They're still commmanding the lion's share of the possession, though, which is only right and proper seeing as this is their manor. Ronaldinho stabs a half-shot/cross across the face of the goal and wide after Duff had allowed Belletti to get a cross in, which Carvalho failed to clear. Chelsea's defending has been anything but impressive thus far.

11 mins: Ronaldinho sends in a cross from the left wing which William Gallas - who is playing left-back for Chelsea - hoofs clear.

13 mins: From a deep position wide on the right, Joe Cole sends in a poor cross which Rafael Marquez heads clear. William Gallas appears to be struggling for Chelsea and we could soon see the introduction of Glen Johnson, whose choice of horse racing apparel - for anyone who's interested - is a grey hoodie and sweat-pants combo. Very uncouth.

15 mins: Samuel Eto'o gets in behind Ricardo Carvalho, stretches and sends a volley screaming horribly wide from a very difficult angle. Moments previously, Didier Drogba got booked for an innoccuous challenge on Rafael Marquez. It's worth bearing in mind that perma-tanned bottle-blond Anders Frisk is reffing, so he likes to flash the cards around in order to get himself on the television.

18 mins: "Being both Portuguese and a Porto supporter I have the benefit of knowing of Mourinho's past psychological games while he was in Portugal. Duff's miraculous recovery should be a surprise to no one," says Luis Correia in Toronto, telling us nothing I hadn't already pointed out - albeit rather sarcastically - in the preamble.

Luis, I think the only thing Jose could do that would surprise anyone in England at this stage is to loudly declare that he's not quite as competent a manager as Peter Reid or Gerard Houllier while walking around dressed in sackcloth and ashes and ringing a big bell.

21 mins: Barcelona are still bossing the game, but nowhere near as much as they were in the opening minutes.

23 mins: From the left wing, Ronaldinho spots an opportunity where most mere mortals probably wouldn't and angles a low ball into the box. Unluckily for Barcelona, Deco isn't on the same wavlength as him and Petr Cech rushes out to claim the ball before the Portuguese-cum-Brazilian can react. Chelsea counter, but Joe Cole loses possession after being caught napping in midfield with the ball on his toe.

26 mins: Barcelona go forward, down the right this time with Xavi and Belleti exchanging passes. The ball is crossed in and Barcelona win a corner after Carvalho beats Eto'o it and heads it out of play. Nothing comes from the ensuing inswinger.

27 mins: Barcelona probe again, this time through the centre courtesy of a slick Puyol-Albertini-Ronaldinho passing move. They win a corner, Chelsea clear and Joe Cole gives the ball away again on the edge of the box. Deco picks up the ball at on the left of the penalty area and blatantly dives inside it under no challenge from Carvalho. He appeals for a penalty but doesn't get one. He doesn't get a yellow card either, which would have been well-earned. Ironically, Mourinho goes ballastic at the sight of Deco's antics, which is a bit rich considering he taught the horrible little cheat everything he knows. You reap what you sow, Senor Jose. You reap what you sow.

31 mins: Barcelona 0 - 1 Chelsea Unbelievable - Chelsea score with their first attack. A long ball over the top comes to Damien Duff. He sends a low drive fizzing in from the right, which the retyreating Belletti shins helplessly into his own net. There was little he could do about it as Joe Cole was waiting behind him and Victor Valdes the goalkeeper had already committted himself.

"You seem to be short of correspondents so far," writes Bob. "Does this mean that even Paula Willow has left you to stalk someone else?" I was foresaken by Paula the world's only fickle stalker some time ago, Bob, but there's no shortage of correspondents. There is however a shortage of correspondents wirh anything interesting or amusing to say. It's quality control, not drought.

34 mins: Didier Drogba misses a glorious opportunity to put Chelsea 2-0 up. A long pass from Gallas in the centre circle released him and with only Valdes to beat, he sent the ball low and wide of the left hand post.

37 mins: A free-kick for Barcelona, outside the Chelsea penalty area and to the right. Gio van Bronkhorst sends it into the wall.

38 mins: Joe Cole picks up the ball about five yards outside the penalty area on the right, runs to the left in a line parallel to the edge of the box and unleashes a surface-to-air effort that goes screaming high over the bar.

40 mins: "I know it's not your field Barry," writes Kevin Brady in Tampa. "But I was wondering if you know why the hell doesn't the BBC stream the audio for these games over the net?"

You're right, Kevin. It's not my field, so of course I don't know. Now call me patronising, but would it not make a lot more sense to ask the BBC that question instead? Asking me is about as useful as asking your dentist or milkman.

43 mins: Not a lot going on at the moment, with both teams still reeling from Chelsea's opening goal, scored from their first attack of note in the first half.

Half-time

A small sample of what I have to contend with: "You know, the Guardian should have the live pages refreshed automatically," whimpers Ian Broadie. "Other then the fact that it keeps me looking busy at work, clicking that page thingy is annoying."

There are homeless, diseased, poverty-stricken people starving to death in the world every single minute of the day and night and all you can find to moan about is the occasional inconvenience of having to exert downward pressure with one finger on a mouse button. If that's the biggest problem you encounter tonight, you should go home and count your blessings. If I was you, I'd be more upset about the fact that my name is almost - but not quite - the same as that of the lead singer of the thankfully-now-defunct saccharine-sweet'n'twee sugar-coated Lightning Seeds.

Another small sample: "This is funny and all, but in all seriousness, what is it about you Brits that makes you so brutal toward your teams, players, managers, and referees? I'm from the US, and folk here aren't nearly so critical of athletes and such. Is there some sort of national shame of which I am ignorant?" writes Doug E, who is incorrectly labouring under the delusion that I am a Brit. Get your facts straight yankee boy - I didn't call you a Canadian.

A grown-up question: "I just wanted to know what the Chelsea formation is," writes Richard Webley. "Is Joe Cole playing in the Robben role and is Cole on the left or right?" Well Richard, if by "Robben role" you mean "running around like a headless chicken but not getting a lot done" - then yes - he is playing in the Robben role. Otherwise, no - he isn't.

45 mins: The second half gets underway, as it invariably does.

48 mins: Barcelona have a shout for a penalty turned down when William Gallas shoulders Samuel Eto'o off a through-ball into the Chelsea box. Peter Cech rushes off his line and claims the ball on the edge of his six-yard box, while the wispy young Cameroon striker appeals for a penalty. He doesn't get one.

50 mins: Eto'o is brought down about three yards outside the Chelsea box, to the right of the D. It's a free-kick for Barcelona, which Ronaldinho takes. Over the bar.

51 mins: Joe Cole escapes down the right, but with several options open, his cross is poor. A corner for Chelsea from which nothing comes. Moments earlier, Didier Drogba was lucky not to get a second yellow card for a cynical challenge on Rafael Marquez.

53 mins: The local fans and referee Anders Frisk start seething as Chelsea begin the inevitable time-wasting tactics. Joe Cole picks up the ball on the left hand side of midfield, goes on a surging run up yet another blind alley and gives the ball away again.

55 mins: Didier Drogba gets a second yellow card after going for a 50-50 ball with Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes. He had his foot up, but it wasn't malicious or dirty. Barcelona should have got a free-kick, nothing more. After a frank exchange of views with the referee, Drogba eventually trudges off. Homer Frisk strikes again, eh?

60 mins: Barcelona go close when an Iniesta cross (he's come on for Belletti, I think) is deflected into Petr Cech's arms by Ricardo Carvalho. Could have been an own-goal or it could have been an indirect free-kick for a back-pass. Anders Frisk waves play on. Barcelona substitution: Giuly off, Lopez on.

"Tell the genius from Florida that the BBC does stream audio," writes Edward Wilford. "It's on the Five Live website. Under BBC Radio. On the web. You can access it with a computer."

64 mins: Barcelona go close with their best chance yet. After a bit of a rumpus in the Chelsea box, Iniesta digs the ball out and sends a low shot fizzing just wide of the upright from about 10 yards out.

66 mins: Barcelona 1 - 1 Chelsea The substitute Maxi Lopez, with his long golden mane held out of his eyes by an alice band, equalises for the home side with an unstoppable screamer from about eight yards. The ball came to him after a series of intricate short passes between assorted Barcelona players inside the Chelsea box had left the defenders mesmerised.

69 mins: For 10-man Chelsea, Joe Cole makes way for Glen Johnson. Barcelona are swarming forward in droves since scoring and Chelsea will be happy if they can get out of the Nou Camp with a draw or a 2-1 defeat.

72 mins: Chelsea are getting murdered here. Ronaldinho and Lopez both go close with efforts, but desperate saves from Petr Cech keep the ball out.

75 mins: Steven Korowitz writes: "Doug E must be in some America known only to him and George W. We hate our teams here. We slag them off every chance we get. Steroids, laziness, fighting, rapists, racism, teams moving, seasons being called off. As in so many other things, we lead the world in hating our sports heroes. What the heck is he talking about?"

78 mins: Chelsea are still well under the cosh. Brilliant play from Ronaldinho - who turns Paulo Ferreira inside out - sees the ball find it's way to Deco outside the box. With his back to goal and two defenders smothering him, he somehow manages to turn and make room for a shot, which he fires narrowly wide.

81 mins: Maxi shoots low and hard from outside the box, but his effort is blocked. Moments later, a Giovanni van Bronkhorst right-footed drive from the edge of the penalty area is deflected wide by John Terry. That could have gone anywhere, but the linesman incorrectly flags for offside.

82 mins: From the left wing, Ronaldinho sends an inch-perfect cross to Maxi Lopez at the near post. He doesn't get a decent touch on it and makes life easy for Petr Cech. The two Barcelona substitutes, Maxi Lopez and Iniesta have been brilliant since they came on.

84 mins: Corner for Barcelona after John Terry bravely blocked what looked a goal-bound effort from Samuel Eto'o. From the corner, Xavi shoots from outside the box. His dipping shot is a good effort, but Cech flings himself low and to his right to grab the ball.

86 mins: Deco has a pot-shot from outside the Chelsea box. Cech holds on to it. Moments later, Iniesta has a pop, but doesn't trouble the goalkeeper either. Meanwhile, hundreds (I'm not exaggerating) of irate Americans have asked me to tell Edward Wilford that the BBC aren't streaming the game because they don't have the North American rights. Or something equally dull. Tell him yourselves - I don't care.

90 mins: Chelsea subsitute: Tiago off, Smertin on. Chelsea take off the player furthest away from the dug-out and he dawdles off. Once the deal is done, Barcelona attack and Iniesta has another drive blocked. The Barcelona pressure is relentless and Chelsea will be lucky to escape without conceding another goal.

90+2 mins: Barcelona cross from the left and Samuel Eto'o's shocking header at the far post goes wide. The goal was gaping - how did he miss?

90+3 mins: Peep! Peep! Peep! Football officiating's answer to Robert Kilroy-Silk calls an end to the match with three shrill blasts on his shiny whistle. Barcelona will be gutted they haven't got a bigger lead to take to Stamford Bridge, while Chelsea's relief at being a mere goal down will be tinged with a sense of injustice at Didier Drogba's harsh sending off. It was that more than anything else that prompted the Barcelona backlash.

Second last word tonight goes to Edward Wilford, whjo's back to defend himself against the indignant yankee hordes: "Oh, right! Rupert Murdoch and his Fox Sports drones have the rights in the States," he concedes, probably incorrectly. "Well, don't blame me - they voted for Bush."

Last word tonight goes to Dean in Italy: "Ian Broadie's name also sounds like Ian Brady and we all know what he did," he quips archly while simultaneously winning the (non-existent) prize for being the first contributer to make me laugh out loud tonight. It's a damning indictment on the rest of your shoddy efforts that this landmark event didn't take place until 16 minutes after the final whistle. Thanks for your time and your emails and enjoy what's left of the night.