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Topic: teachers email (Read 23207 times)

The email doesn't bother me too much. I do wish it had had a bit more constructive information in it, like five brief points of good classroom behavior that the children as a whole seem to be lacking, so I could reinforce those specifically with my hypothetical child.

To my mind it's more about keeping the lines of communication open, and as others said probably fired off very quickly after school in an attempt to reach parents before their children's version did. Basically you have the kid saying, "We all got in trouble today!" and you just don't know how serious it was--but then you see the teacher's note and you're like, "Okay, I guess it WAS kind of serious." Then you can question your child down more, or respond to the teacher to ask for more details. And certainly some parents will completely ignore it, or send the teacher a rude note back.

The only thing I would do differently with the email is that I would give the parents a focus. "We were discussing the importance of taking turns/working quietly/sharing/whatever" to give a discussion starter.

In general though it seems that the teacher has tried to take an "off day" and turn it into a learning exercise AND involved parents in the classroom process. Both of those seem really good, positive things to me. I regularly communicate with parents if there is an academic or behavioural issue with a child and I've only ever had one ask me not to. Most seem to appreciate it.

I have a feeling the teacher is going to get a lot of requests for more information. I know that my daughter had a difficult time explaining details when things happened at school. Kids will latch onto a detail and blow it out of proportion while totally ignoring or forgetting quite a bit of necessary context. A few details (like, remind your children to raise their hands instead of shouting answers) would not have lengthened the email much and would save her having to answer the inevitable individual inquiries.

I had a thought about this this morning. Now it was before coffee, so it might be totally off the wall crazy. But I wonder if her vagueness was to see which parents responded back with more questions. Kind of way to find out which parents are going to be involved and care and which parents are going to take the "I send them to you to teach, you teach them!" method of parenting.

I know, vaguely conspiracy theory, and again pre-coffee.

Uh, for real?? What a passive-aggressive way to pass judgement. I guess add me to the "bad mommy list." Seriously, if I received a note like this, with it being so vague, the only thing I would do is ask my child what in the world happened today and try vet out their involvement, and at the very least, cover classroom behavior. If my child's behavior was that bad, I would expect a note to come home in the backpack or some personal communication; otherwise, I'm mostly likely going to chalk it up to a rowdy room and reinforce the rules.

I'm floored that this would be a way for a teacher to see who would be a more involved parent. And you know, conspiracy theory or not, I'll bet it does happen! (Not that I think that is the case here)

I have a feeling the teacher is going to get a lot of requests for more information. I know that my daughter had a difficult time explaining details when things happened at school. Kids will latch onto a detail and blow it out of proportion while totally ignoring or forgetting quite a bit of necessary context. A few details (like, remind your children to raise their hands instead of shouting answers) would not have lengthened the email much and would save her having to answer the inevitable individual inquiries.

I had a thought about this this morning. Now it was before coffee, so it might be totally off the wall crazy. But I wonder if her vagueness was to see which parents responded back with more questions. Kind of way to find out which parents are going to be involved and care and which parents are going to take the "I send them to you to teach, you teach them!" method of parenting.

I know, vaguely conspiracy theory, and again pre-coffee.

Uh, for real?? What a passive-aggressive way to pass judgement. I guess add me to the "bad mommy list." Seriously, if I received a note like this, with it being so vague, the only thing I would do is ask my child what in the world happened today and try vet out their involvement, and at the very least, cover classroom behavior. If my child's behavior was that bad, I would expect a note to come home in the backpack or some personal communication; otherwise, I'm mostly likely going to chalk it up to a rowdy room and reinforce the rules.

I'm floored that this would be a way for a teacher to see who would be a more involved parent. And you know, conspiracy theory or not, I'll bet it does happen! (Not that I think that is the case here)

I disagree. I think teachers are usually too busy for these kinds if games and would rather work with parents than try to set some kind if trap for them. I think this is really reaching for a way to blame a teacher for something.

I have a child in Kindergarten and one in 2nd grade, and I wouldn't be shocked or unhappy to see such an e-mail. I love that my kids' teachers stay in contact, I would appreciate a heads up so when my kid comes home saying the mean teacher punished the whole class, I am prepared to discuss and not blindsided. The e-mail would give me a better opportunity to model that adults at home and school are on the same page about acceptable behavior.

But I also don't understand getting upset because a teacher said that a holiday Christmas celebrates Jesus. Whether or not one chooses to celebrate this holiday, that is precisely its intent and even the meaning of the word. What should she say? My kids have learned about Kwaanzaa and Hannukah in school, which we don't celebrate, but I am glad they are learning about them. If the teacher made a value judgement about Jesus or Christmas, that would be uncool.

I have a feeling the teacher is going to get a lot of requests for more information. I know that my daughter had a difficult time explaining details when things happened at school. Kids will latch onto a detail and blow it out of proportion while totally ignoring or forgetting quite a bit of necessary context. A few details (like, remind your children to raise their hands instead of shouting answers) would not have lengthened the email much and would save her having to answer the inevitable individual inquiries.

I had a thought about this this morning. Now it was before coffee, so it might be totally off the wall crazy. But I wonder if her vagueness was to see which parents responded back with more questions. Kind of way to find out which parents are going to be involved and care and which parents are going to take the "I send them to you to teach, you teach them!" method of parenting.

I know, vaguely conspiracy theory, and again pre-coffee.

Uh, for real?? What a passive-aggressive way to pass judgement. I guess add me to the "bad mommy list." Seriously, if I received a note like this, with it being so vague, the only thing I would do is ask my child what in the world happened today and try vet out their involvement, and at the very least, cover classroom behavior. If my child's behavior was that bad, I would expect a note to come home in the backpack or some personal communication; otherwise, I'm mostly likely going to chalk it up to a rowdy room and reinforce the rules.

I'm floored that this would be a way for a teacher to see who would be a more involved parent. And you know, conspiracy theory or not, I'll bet it does happen! (Not that I think that is the case here)

I too find that theory to be pretty outrageous.

I wouldn't have put much stock into it - figuring it was just a heads-up if my daughter/son mentioned that there was no free-play time that day. Teacher was mentioning that there was an overall discipline issue and it was talked about in class, and perhaps parents could help reinforce it.

If Teacher was figuring that my son/daughter was a major instigator, then I would figure that he/she would be contacting me separately about it. Naturally Teacher would not be sending a general email such as "Tommy and Tina got into a fight, then Benny and Barbara got involved and it escalated from there..."

I have a feeling the teacher is going to get a lot of requests for more information. I know that my daughter had a difficult time explaining details when things happened at school. Kids will latch onto a detail and blow it out of proportion while totally ignoring or forgetting quite a bit of necessary context. A few details (like, remind your children to raise their hands instead of shouting answers) would not have lengthened the email much and would save her having to answer the inevitable individual inquiries.

I had a thought about this this morning. Now it was before coffee, so it might be totally off the wall crazy. But I wonder if her vagueness was to see which parents responded back with more questions. Kind of way to find out which parents are going to be involved and care and which parents are going to take the "I send them to you to teach, you teach them!" method of parenting.

I know, vaguely conspiracy theory, and again pre-coffee.

Uh, for real?? What a passive-aggressive way to pass judgement. I guess add me to the "bad mommy list." Seriously, if I received a note like this, with it being so vague, the only thing I would do is ask my child what in the world happened today and try vet out their involvement, and at the very least, cover classroom behavior. If my child's behavior was that bad, I would expect a note to come home in the backpack or some personal communication; otherwise, I'm mostly likely going to chalk it up to a rowdy room and reinforce the rules.

I'm floored that this would be a way for a teacher to see who would be a more involved parent. And you know, conspiracy theory or not, I'll bet it does happen! (Not that I think that is the case here)

I disagree. I think teachers are usually too busy for these kinds if games and would rather work with parents than try to set some kind if trap for them. I think this is really reaching for a way to blame a teacher for something.

Yes, I think that's a completely outrageous suggestion. Let's just go with the simplest theory until proven otherwise, which is that the teacher wanted to send some general information to the parents, which is, "The kids are getting a bit antsy. Please speak to your child about being respectful."

I would be annoyed by the lack of guidance to me - as a mom - of what the teacher means by "good student". There can be so many different behaviors that the teacher could be taking about. While I would love to reinforce the teacher's discussion, I would feel a bit at a loss as to how to do so.

All that said, It's that closing sentence that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It sounds so whiney and...defeatist or something.

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"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

This is December. Classroom rules were established months ago, so the expectations have been established. I speculate that all classroom parents were informed of those rules at the beginning of he school year.

I have no problem with this note at all. I would do exactly as the teacher asked, open a dialog with my child about expected behavior in the classroom, probably with a bit about being a leader/good example as well. I don't need every gory detail or specific guidance from the teacher -- this teacher gave plenty of guidance. S/he wasn't asking the parents to provide discipline at home for something at school (which would require more detail), but was asking for some general support from home. This is something every parent should be ready to provide.

I certainly don't think that this is a teacher who's lost control of the classroom. As others have speculated, kids coming back from an extended weekend and heading towards the December holidays are going to be more difficult to control, and one kid can quickly set the others off before the teacher has a chance to intervene. Taking away free play (note, not recess, as I'm sure the teacher knows the difference) is the equivalent of putting the whole classroom on time out. Somewhat drastic but if you can't sort out the instigators from the followers, it makes some sense.

The fact that classroom expectations were probably discussed at the beginning of the term isn't really relevant. We're talking about 5yo kids and they need constant reinforcement. This is the short-attention-span-theater crowd. That reinforcement comes in the classroom but needs to come from home as well. You can discuss classroom behavior with middle schoolers at the beginning of the year and not have to do much to reinforce, but for little kids, it takes more work.

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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

I would be annoyed by the lack of guidance to me - as a mom - of what the teacher means by "good student". There can be so many different behaviors that the teacher could be taking about. While I would love to reinforce the teacher's discussion, I would feel a bit at a loss as to how to do so.

ll that said, It's that closing sentence that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It sounds so whiney and...defeatist or something.

I have to ask, really? You don't have any idea what "good student" behavior might be without specific guidance from the teacher? I don't think I've seen a set of classroom expectations that varied much from "Don't talk out of turn" "Share" "Listen when someone is talking" "Follow directions". There may be a few items that are specific to this teacher and classroom, like "Don't take gumballs from the gumball machine without the teacher's permission," but in general, basic good behavior should be pretty clear.

The way to address this with a child is to start with: "I got a note from your teacher that things didn't go well in school today. Can you tell me what happened?" Depending on that, (after sorting out the "It wasn't me" and "Teacher took away free play" that may show up), discuss the particular problems. "How can you help the teacher to make things better in the classroom?" is the next step.

I certainly didn't find the last line whiny or defeatist at all. It's hopeful. It shows that the teacher wants to make sure that this was an isolated incident and not the way the class is going to be in the future.

Logged

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

I actually saw the last line as hopeful--that she's perfectly willing to let bygones be bygones (one of my most important discipline tactics as a parent, actually--tomorrow we won't still be berating you for today's screw-up).

Of course, it also has a note of "let's not let this keep on this way." Fine as well.

I would wish for more guidance in the form of "getting loud at X time" or "lots of chatter when I'm trying to teach," but in the absence of that, I'm going to assume it was a general onslaught of general "talking out of turn" / "being too loud" / "not paying attention" / "laughing at the class clown's jokes too loudly and too long" and deal with it that way.

I have no problem with this note at all. I would do exactly as the teacher asked, open a dialog with my child about expected behavior in the classroom, probably with a bit about being a leader/good example as well. I don't need every gory detail or specific guidance from the teacher -- this teacher gave plenty of guidance. S/he wasn't asking the parents to provide discipline at home for something at school (which would require more detail), but was asking for some general support from home. This is something every parent should be ready to provide.

I certainly don't think that this is a teacher who's lost control of the classroom. As others have speculated, kids coming back from an extended weekend and heading towards the December holidays are going to be more difficult to control, and one kid can quickly set the others off before the teacher has a chance to intervene. Taking away free play (note, not recess, as I'm sure the teacher knows the difference) is the equivalent of putting the whole classroom on time out. Somewhat drastic but if you can't sort out the instigators from the followers, it makes some sense.

The fact that classroom expectations were probably discussed at the beginning of the term isn't really relevant. We're talking about 5yo kids and they need constant reinforcement. This is the short-attention-span-theater crowd. That reinforcement comes in the classroom but needs to come from home as well. You can discuss classroom behavior with middle schoolers at the beginning of the year and not have to do much to reinforce, but for little kids, it takes more work.

Per the bolded--I think it's relevant if the teacher is criticized for not communicating in the email the classroom expectations. The parents were told and should be able to recall them.

Our daughter told us last night that the teacher told her that Christmas is to celebrate Jesus and we are agnostic/atheist. So I am just going to call and inquire if that was taught to the children or whats going on.

Well, that IS the history of the holiday called "Christmas". I mean, Solstice holidays are older but it is where the word comes from.

Yeah, Christmas is a religious holiday. I mean, it's called CHRISTmas. Her explanation doesn't bother me at all, and I'm an atheist. And I celebrate secular Christmas. If we're going to appropriate the holiday of a religion that we don't practice, we can at least respect the beliefs behind it.