Captain Keelhaulin' Jack, decides that he should take the precautionary principle to heart and declines to open his package of Fish Head Cake instead he wisely slips it under his gown to take home and use as rat poison.

At the back, Oz_Nick waves the Bailiff over and, while giving him an envelope, whispers in his ear. The bailiff looks at Nick and at the large suspicious looking package on the seat next to him and turns around and retreats to the front of the court. He approaches the bench and passes the envelope to Captain Jack.

Captain Jack opens the envelope and reads the note inside. He looks up nervously to the rear of the court and then turns to the defence counsel.

Captain Jack: Mr Mason-Bart, it has been brought to my attention that the defendant has absconded from the Piratica v Sweden game and that despite your assurances that he would return to court, I see that the dock remains empty. I must inform you that I am issuing warrants for Mr Bart's arrest and immediate keelhauling and return to court. In the meantime we shall continue without the defendant's presence, unless you have any objections?

I submit there be a certain sum of money in that there envelope passed to the right onrouable Captain.

Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

â€œWhy on earth would you wish to kill Black Bartâ€ said Capâ€™n Jack â€œIs there something I should know that would impact on these proceedingsâ€

â€œI is afraid that Black bart as not been truthful with yer honourâ€ said Sir Francis Drake

Capâ€™n Jack turned to a very worried looking Black Bart â€œIt is time for the truth Black Bart, remember you are still under oathâ€

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

*Phineous P Mason Bart interupts the proceedngs with a flourish of a mighty cutlass which flies out of his hand accidently and pins the Judges Wig to the back of the court room!*

"Sorry about that yer honour...er, just me bread knife, I'll retrieve it and yer wig in a minute." " I can now reveal that the man you are holdin in chains is not Black Bart but a cunningly disguised Colombian footballer whom I payed to take me place. How else do you think I managed to score two goals in 10 minutes!!!!!"

"Oh yes...ye'd never ave spotted me in this cunning disguise...."

* ...and with that Bart leaped up onto a handy chandelier and then dived out of the court room through a flimsy window...*

The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.