hi im addicted to porn

Customer Question

This is an unfortunately common issue for adult males. You are not alone.

Sexuality is our most powerful biochemical motivator. You are battling not only an addiction, but well worn neural pathways in your brain that have established themselves. Pleasure is now associated with porn and you are now fighting habit; habit that causes your body physical discomfort and emotional pain. Porn has you. You do not have it. (this discomfort will peak 2 weeks or so after you stop using. That will be your most dangerous time for relapse and you need to be prepared for this battle.)

What should you do. Porn addiction is battled at many levels. Remember: It arises to meet a legitimate need: it fights loneliness and fear but it has a horrible cost as you see. It works through convenience, anonymity and ease. Really, it is easy to access, no one knows it but you and you can feed any desire you want. There are more than 15 million porn sites, many free. Eventually, through your eyes and exposure to it, it removes normal sexuality from you and guilt and shame are often felt as reminders.

How do you defeat this?

1) You need support and you need to drag this behavior "into the light". A good therapist is an excellent choice as they can help you discern who you can and should not tell about this behavior. Porn lives in secret. The more support and accountability you have, the better it is.

2) You need to make porn access...no other way to say it, ridiculously difficult. You will fail if confronted by endless amounts of this stuff and your computer is enemy #1. You need to cut off all access to porn. If you don't trust yourself to do this, there are many on-line screening tools that can email your web content and activity to a support person. That way, you cannot deceive them,, or you.

3) Some men find spiritual resources for this issue very helpful. settingcaptivesfree.com is a web site that uses a spiritual approach to the addiction as many feel, as do I, that this is a spiritual issue in origin.

Your first step is to seek support and then eliminate access to the material. You will need help doing this and you will find many good resources with a therapist. Remember, you are showing strength by even bringing this problem to the table.

No matter what it is, gay, straight,bi, animal or fetish: porn works the exact same way. The way to approach it is the same. It has trapped your feelings and created no other outlet for you. No matter its type or kind, its hold works the same. (Same glue, different looking traps.)

There are many men who feel conflicted about gay porn. Some are bothered so badly that they can't stop thinking about if they are gay or not. This issue is treated with a therapist who can help you work through your feelings and thoughts. It is more common than you might think and I would so encourage you to talk with a therapist about your feelings. You're clearly in discomfort and need the support.

These feelings are strong, yes. But, this isn't the first time I have seen a male with this intense level of desire or discomfort. Talk to someone, a therapist. You need the support. By talking this out you can gain perspective.

The problem is often seen with a heterosexual male who feels like he might be gay because he is interested in gay porn or activity. Feelings are feelings, not acts. Again, you need support and someone face to face to talk this through.

If you were homosexual this wouldn't be a conflict. You wouldn't be having these conflicts. Again, what is stopping you from talking this out with a professional in a supportive face to face environment?

Most likely, but as the previous expert stated, these internet porn addictions can be very difficult to overcome, and the deeper you get, the more difficult to intervene. You need to start replacing time normally spent online, with some positive behaviors like exercise, or hobbies. These addictions are no joke, they can affect you physically.

I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

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