Be Encouraged. Discover Happiness. Love Freely.

happiness

Who do you allow to create your happiness? Who has the power to control how you think about yourself?

If you haven’t seen Nappily Ever After, it truly is a must see. Many of us can relate on so many levels. It discussed growing up as a young African American female all the way to adulthood. Many of the messages are important for all of us to consider.

What I took away from this movie was the fact that many of us allow the perceptions of others control how genuine we are. How open we are to embracing ourselves versus trying to fit in.

The amount of energy spent on trying to impress others or negate their view of us can be exhausting. I’m also guilty of this. The crazy part about this way of thinking is most of the time I am limiting myself based on my own internal dialogue. I allow my behaviors to change due to my anticipation of how I may be perceived. Something I’m not proud of or want to pass on to my children.

How have you removed yourself from this way of thinking to ignore the pull to care about what others may feel or say?

What I have turned back to time and time again is my faith. My faith is something that others cannot take away from me, provides clarity and gives me strength to mute ALL negativity, whether internally or externally. Even when I don’t feel like I can.

Proverbs 29:25 “If you are afraid of people it will trap you, but if you trust in the Lord, he will keep you safe”. NIRV

I’m learning not to place my value on what others think I should be doing. A slow process because my life has been spent worrying and anticipating judgement from others. Again…how exhausting! We’re not nice to ourselves. But that feeling doesn’t have to be permanent.

Seek what is most important to YOU! Focus on your well-being to quiet the voices that have caused you to question what you’re doing, how you choose to live, and what you put your faith into.

In the past, I have set goals for myself regarding my career, family, etc. I specifically remember my boyfriend and I having a conversation on this very topic. He challenged me to write down what I was looking for career wise. I knew what I wanted, and made the choice that day to create my mini version of a vision board.

My career goals were:

I would like to continue helping families in the mental health field (improve, and strengthen their relationships with others)

Advance in my career (first step: become a supervisor).

Balance my work week with being in the office as well as meet with families within the community (So, I get to plan and organize, as well as engage with others)

Have a flexible work schedule

Not work any weekends or Holidays

I feel extremely blessed to say with confidence that I have now been working at a new position, that meets every one of my goals that I’ve set for myself career wise at this time. I didn’t believe that I would find such a position within the first year of writing these goals down initially. The most exciting thing about this is the fact that I believed in myself. I knew what I wanted, and went after this! I just didn’t know that I was doing everything I needed to do to help me reach my goals. Now I have that confirmation!

One of my besties, Chanelle, put me onto this Youtube video (Mastering The Art of Attraction). This video discussed how we each have the ability to reach our full potential. But, doing so all starts with how you are talking to yourself. You will attract like-minded people, you will attract the lack of money that you continue to complain about, and you will attract that job that you believe in your heart is right for you.

Ultimately, you have a choice in how you will respond to what’s happened to you.

This isn’t a secret. However, truly give this some thought…

My advice, is not to settle for what you do not believe in. If you’re unhappy, then change your thinking. Maybe even consider changing the people you’ve chosen to associate with. I know everyone in my corner speaks positively as often as possible. They push me to go after the more difficult decisions, and challenge me to obtain greater for myself. Also, write down what it is that you want for yourself. The more you do this, and communite these goals to others, the more you will continue to hold yourself accountable to them as well.

It feels incredible to get what you want!

What goals have you set for yourself, and what are you doing to make sure you reach them?