How to Ask for a Reference Letter

In the 2009 film “Up in the Air,” Natalie Keener decides she can no longer stomach being part of a corporate firing squad and quits her firm. Her mentor, played by George Clooney, behaves as the magnanimous gent we all know him to be: he writes a glowing reference letter on her behalf, addressed simply “to whom it may concern.”

In the real world, getting a reference letter is far more difficult and often a source of much anxiety. Whom to ask, how to ask, what to say?

But getting an outstanding reference letter is entirely within your control and easier than you think, even if you don’t have a benevolent benefactor at your back.

Here are three tips to ensure your mentor, former boss, or academic counselor writes you a rave review:

Highlight their qualifications

Provide a template

Offer a “no questions asked” policy

Let’s look at each of these individually:

Highlight their Qualifications

When reaching out to ask for a letter of reference, explain up front and center why it is that you value that person’s opinion and respect their professional expertise enough so that you chose them (of all people) to vouch for you in your next professional endeavor.

Beyond mere flattery, show why you think that person is uniquely qualified to accurately assess and communicate your personal contribution to your future organization. Why did you enjoy working for them, and why do you value their opinion? Why do you look up to them? How do the qualities match your own, or speak to the authority you want your recommendation to convey?

Provide a Template

It’s almost impossible to get a good reference letter from someone if you don’t provide the tools necessary for them to actually write a good letter. It’s also terribly inconsiderate not to give ample guidance. The last thing anyone wants to do is spend hours or days thinking about and drafting a letter which you yourself could have composed far better and more readily in about half the time.

Providing a template, therefore — an outline, bullet points, or even a fully-baked draft — of what you’d like the reference letter to say is the most effective (not to mention generous and thoughtful) approach to asking for a letter of reference. The goal isn’t to put words into your former colleague’s mouth or to co-opt her into vouching for you in an untrue or disingenuous manner; it’s simply to do some of the work for her and provide all of the pertinent data points that you’d like included in the letter. Moreover, as boastful, bragging or full of yourself you may feel writing your own referral, often people will be even more generous than you will when talking about your skills and contribution to an organization. So go ahead and toot your own horn.

“No Questions Asked”

Finally, once you provide your reviewer with a useful template and make it clear that your intention is to make this process as painless as possible for her, then it’s time to hand over the reins and offer a “no questions asked” policy. First, give your colleague an easy “out” to decline your request for any or no reason. Then, assuming she agrees, give her ample leeway to change, modify or edit your letter as she sees fit. You want to convey a sense of trust in her and give her an opportunity to write a letter she is entirely comfortable with.

Let’s take a look at what this request might actually look like:

Highlight their Qualifications

Dear John,

Hello, I hope you are well. I am writing to ask a huge favor — I’m applying for a senior marketing position with Merck and I was hoping you’d consider writing a letter of recommendation on my behalf. I always appreciated your perspective and judgment while working together. You have so much credibility within the product development space that I thought you’d be a perfect person to act as a reference.

Provide a Template

I have included a list of bullet points along with a draft letter you might consider using as a template. I’d like to make the process as easy as possible on you and I know it’s hard to recall details about the many different projects we worked on together in 2007 and 2008.

“No Questions Asked”

If for any reason you don’t feel comfortable writing a letter on my behalf, I completely understand. If you are willing to do so, however, please feel free to take the attached sample letter and use it as a template however you see fit. I have tried to address my core strengths as a strategic thinker and team player and I have highlighted several marketing campaigns I’m particularly proud of. To the extent that you’d like to make any changes or modifications to the letter, please go ahead and do so. I trust that you’ll include only those topics you feel comfortable commenting upon.

Further, I would welcome the opportunity to see a copy of the letter, but I of course understand your position if you’d like to keep it confidential.

Finally, finish your request with all the grace and charm you can muster — thank the other person profusely for their time and help and offer to make yourself available for any further questions he may have.

Stay tuned for next week’s post on how to write that template and make your reference letter stand out from the pack.