Guilty! It's the way millions feel. Guilt feelings—bearing
shameful memories, being unable to rid oneself of haunting doubts—are standard
fare for too many people. They are also fertile ground for cults whose leaders
exploit these feelings of guilt for their own selfish purposes. Are you a guilty
person? Do nagging doubts about your past and apprehensions over your future
plague your mind? If so, you need to read this. It could change everything

The taunting chant picked
up in intensity, punctuated by the unbearable sight of Wanda's pigtails bouncing
up and down saucily as she, too, joined the little group who had now abandoned
their skip rope to take up the cry, "Jimmy's got a girl friend! Jimmy's got a
girl friend! Jimmy's got a girl friend!..."

It was like a song, an old remembered refrain he had sung to himself at
least a hundred times, consisting of only three notes that somehow contrived to
rake against his brain like that horse-faced teacher's chalk had in English
class when she made his skin prickle with the squeaking sound she had made
writing on the blackboard.

They had been jumping one at a time when Gloria suddenly jumped into the
middle of his turn and caused him to miss a step and fall awkwardly against her.
Together they had yelped as the rope struck their ankles with the sting of
bristle-stiff hemp, and then they had been on the ground, with Gloria's skirt
embarrassingly high and Jimmy's arm somehow around her shoulders.

He had leapt to his feet then, trying not to look, checks burning with
shame as the laughter began, and his arch enemy (that little smart aleck from
the other side of town) began taunting him—"Jimmy's got a girl friend! Jimmy's
got a..."

He had shyly pulled Wanda's pigtails once because he had heard some of
the older boys in the third grade say the girls liked it and that was why they
wore their hair like that. He liked Wanda and made up daydreams about her. Now
even Wanda was there with her face swimming through the mist that clouded his
eyes, nagging him like his own mother, joining the insufferable chant that, if
it didn't stop, would reduce him to quivering jelly.

The recess bell rang loudly, and Mrs. Shuey, their teacher, clapped her
hands from the porch nearby. "That's enough, children!" she said with her
high-pitched, cracked voice. George slowly began to coil the rope, the first to
quit the chant. But the bell and Mrs. Shuey's voice had done it, and finally the
ordeal was over.

But the shame remained.

He didn't like Gloria at all. She was too forward, too much like a
boy—and she was fat. It was all her fault. She had jumped right into the middle
of his turn, and just because they had fallen ... It just wasn't fair, but he
felt ashamed—somehow guilty.

Simple cruelties of childhood can contrive to produce long remembered
feelings of guilt in everyone. Shame, embarrassment, guilt—all are insufferable
wounds to ego. Throughout all our lives we human beings seem unable to rid
ourselves of feelings of guilt. From earliest memory we were shamed, made to
feel dirty, evil, forgetful, inadequate and guilty. From playground encounters
with other children to the rebukes and punishment of thoughtless parents who
reinforced our feelings of guilt, most humans have been molded and shaped into
many complex personality quirks that plague their minds.

Guilt and inferiority go hand in hand. Millions of seemingly outgoing,
dynamic, successful people have been driven by inner feelings of inferiority.
Seeking continually to prove these nagging doubts wrong, to demonstrate to
themselves and to their friends they are not truly inferior (as they believe,
deep down), they struggle to achieve, to succeed.

The Beginnings of Guilt

Thoughtless parents begin the process, cruel playmates refine it, and
human feelings of inferiority complete it. Guilt. By the time most of us are
adults, we have an intricate maze of subjective perceptions, concepts,
apprehensions, doubts, fears, worries, neuroses, fixations, hatreds, anxieties
and defense mechanisms. Our minds are terribly adept at fending off the truth
about ourselves—far more effective than the most sophisticated radar-jamming
devices. We are willing to go to almost any lengths to quiet these nagging inner
voices—from frequent visits to a favorite shrink to pilgrimages to a
neighborhood church.

The Freudian aspects are not to be ignored, for many of the most
poignant of the guilt feelings stem directly from witless teachings passed on by
ignorant parents and thoughtless friends and revolve around sex. (No doubt there
are people who believe anyone under five feet, six inches of the male species
overindulged in masturbation [it will stunt your growth, the parent said]. And
that carries horrible specters of unimaginable problems for midgets).

Ignorant masses of guilty people contrive to foist these same psychoses
off on the next generation in spite of the imagined freedom of a sex-conscious,
anti-Augustinian society. In the early teens youngsters become deeply conscious
of their developing bodies, and with that consciousness come various hang-ups,
doubts, anxieties, shame and guilt. The lies are endlessly promulgated that
sexual prowess relates directly to size, so millions of males grow up feeling
inadequate. Statistics would be impossible to collect showing the direct
relationship between these lies perpetuated in high-school locker rooms and
broken marriages, homosexuals, impotency or even suicide, but the relationship
is there nevertheless.

Inferiority, Inadequacy and Guilt

All human beings feel inferior. Guilt and inferiority go hand in
hand. Society demands success. To be successful is the only acceptable goal in
life, and success is measured not by what we are but by what we have. When we
are unsuccessful—that is, when we have fewer things than others—we feel
inferior and guilty. There must be some reasons why we are unsuccessful or we
wouldn't be unsuccessful. Those unspoken reasons haunt us, for we suspect
our friends are continually speaking of them behind our backs.

Are we lazy or just lacking in initiative, inventiveness, energy and
zeal? Are we lacking in education and ideas? Since we tend to measure success by
material possessions rather than quality of character, our success or the lack
of it is terribly, painfully visible.

The neighborhood, the size and appearance of our homes, our automobiles
(which are statements of our personality and our success), the club to which we
belong, if any, and even the more personal aspects of dress, personal taste and
culture are vastly important to our image.

How many millionaires are there who lack any specifically important goal
in life other than making money? Making money was a means to the end of owning
things, and the size, location and quality of those things was the statement,
visible to the whole world, of their true character. Rich is respectable.

There are probably as many successful, rich, prominent people who became
so because of their desperate desire to overcome their guilt feelings, their
inadequacies, their lack of success and suspected inferiority as there are those
who were unaware of such nonsense.

Adolf Hitler had only one testicle. He had a deep, bitter hatred of an
unsuccessful father and a deep, hidden mother fixation. His Freudian relation
with Eva Braun was more as the passive, hurt, needy child creeping intoa
protective mother's arms than it was of lover, master or man. He was impotent,
and the knowledge drove him to wild, demonic energy to be successful before the
whole world in order to remove the gnawing pain of his deepest personal failure.

Despots do not become inadequate so often as the inadequate become
despots.

Human nature is vanity, jealousy, Just and greed. It is, above all else,
ego. The blatant egotism of people, so obvious to their detractors, stems from
their deepest feelings of jealousy of others more successful and of their own
inadequacies, feelings of failure and guilt. Some of the vainest people you
know—insensate, lacking in sympathy for others, narcissistic to the extreme—are
very likely driven by deep feelings of inferiority and guilt.

But there is a way to rid yourself of these feelings of fear and guilt!

The Fear of Death

Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, "The only thing we have to fear
is fear itself" There is a root cause for fear and guilt.

God's Word says people are like slaves to their own passions and
appetites. Here's why: "...that through death He [Christ] might destroy him that
had the power of death, that is, the devil; and deliver them who through fear
of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage" (Hebrews 2:14,15).

Believe it or not, fear of death is a powerful, underlying motivation in
the minds of millions. The world's great religions and thousands of sects and
cults are built on this fear, at least to some degree.

For millennia human beings have pondered the unknowns of life after
death, of the great nothingness beyond. Through their fears of death and their
desperate tenacity to life, they have followed every conceivable form of
religion from the staid, formal ceremonials to the weird, bizarre, cultic rites.

They want to know. The desire to be sure of one's personal
destiny has led many a questing churchgoer from one religion to another striving
to find that ultimate, magic solution.

Today the effects of "future shock" are upon us. In an overpopulated,
polluted world of potential nuclear holocausts—a world of fantastic, noisy,
hectic, awesome technology, a world of rapid travel, instant global
communication, hydrogen bombs, nuclear ships, laser rays, skylabs, Venus probes
and the remote hopes of cloning—millions are frustrated, disappointed, fearful,
doubtful and wondering.

Whether it involves failure on the job, personal tragedy or loss of a
loved one, we can all experience a "what's the use?" attitude to the point of
contemplating suicide. Today even very young teens and small children have been
known to take their own lives!

Of course suicide is the ultimate way out chosen by people who have
allowed great discouragement to get them down. They simply cannot face life any
more.

But no suicide should ever take place if a person truly understood the
real purpose in his own birth—why he is here!

If we could understand the latent potential within each of us, we could
begin to shut out of our minds these feelings of doubt, inferiority, futility,
discouragement and frustration.

The Psychological Placebo

Is it really possible, by reading an endless series of books,
journals, articles (including this one), to "kid" ourselves out of our troubles?
Can any of you who are bedridden actually kid yourself into thinking you are not
in bed? Can a person recovering from the shock of having lost a loved one—or
even the loss of a limb or eyesight or the experience of total
bankruptcy—"delude" himself into thinking all this has not occurred?

Can people who have undergone the shock of sudden unemployment, a broken
marriage or any number of other personal tragedies simple "talk themselves out
of" their despondency?

How many psychology books are there that advance empty theories of
confidence in yourself, attempting to show people how to overcome
feelings of insecurity, despondency and disappointment? Unfortunately most of
the "cures" do not seem to remove the root cause of the problem.

But let's get to the heart of the matter.

There are two major areas that have to do with the root cause of
all these negative feelings. The first is what you think of yourself! The second
is what others think of you!

Let's deal with the first one.

What are YOU? Have you ever really thought back to your
own origins? It is true that the archaeologist's spade proves to us that the
footprints of humankind lead away from the Middle East. Without a long
dissertation on history, suffice it to say that every human being has
grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on.

Americans were moved deeply watching Alex Haley's Roots and
Roots: The NextGenerations on national television; millions
saw the former production twice. This black American's noble search for his
origin captured the hearts and imaginations of those who vicariously accompanied
Haley on his quest.

But, though few would like to admit the veracity of the very truth of
God, we can all trace our "roots" and our origins right back to the three sons
of Noah mentioned in the sixth and seventh chapters of the book of Genesis!
Beyond that we can trace our "roots" right back to Adam, the first man on the
earth!

Of course millions of people do not believe in God. Not that they have
"disproved" the existence of God, they have simply allowed their minds to be
clouded with dozens of evolutionary and atheistic concepts and have never tried
to prove it one way or the other. But, to anyone who is willing to prove the
existence of an all wise Creator God who is the Life Giver, Law Giver, Creator,
Sustainer and the Great Being who answers prayers, they could come to know a
great deal more about themselves than could any skeptic or atheist.

A Spark of Life

What are you?

You are a spark of life in the vastness of an interminable, unbelievably
awesome universe. Your life is yours. You have a right to be here! Your
life once was only a potential for life and did not exist of and by itself. At
one instant in time, at the very beginning of your own life, there were
millions of potential human lives struggling toward one female ovum in the
womb of your mother. But that one male sperm cell that was to unite with the
female ovum and become you won the frantic quest, and at that instant a
new human being began to be formed!

David wrote of these marvels in the Psalms, showing his awe at the
existence of human life and its marvelous and miraculous origins.

Yet there was a moment in time when, although the potential for
you" existed, "you" did not yet exist. Then, at the uniting of those
infinitesimally small seeds of human life, you—yes, you—began.

By the miracle of begettal designed by the awesome mind of the Creator
God, the very pattern that was to become you—all that you were to inherit
from your parents, including, but not limited to, your height, general weight,
stature, shape of head, pigmentation, color of hair and eyes, texture of skin,
your very nature and possibly the tenor or timbre of your voice, certain
personality attributes and abilities—was beginning to be formed in the womb of
your mother.

Too often too many people "sell themselves short." Buffeted all their
lives by feelings of inferiority, tossed to and fro by feelings of self-doubt,
continually attacked by the shark like environment of their earliest schoolyard
experience on up to the mature experiences of adult life, they find these
feelings of inadequacy and inferiority continually heightened as they are made
ever more poignant and unbearable by being constantly exposed in the light of
the successes of others.

There was the story some years ago, for example, of a young Puerto
Rican-American who in utter desperation and self-disgust gulped a deadly poison,
doused himself in lighter fluid, struck a match and then, after all this, leaped
out of a window of a skyscraper! As grisly as it sounds, this was a man who
wanted to make sure!

Not knowing the tremendous potential of human life, not being even a
little bit "in awe" of his own meaning, origins and ultimate destiny, this man
"succeeded" in killing himself.

Suicide is a sin, a sin that can and will be repented of in the
resurrection. When Jesus Christ of Nazareth raises that young man from
the dead and teaches him what the ministry of this world should have been
teaching him all along, perhaps he will repent and learn then what you
can learn now!

Consider Your Potential

Though the Bible encourages a person not to think more highly of
himself than he should, too many people, drifting into feelings of
despair, doubt, inferiority and discouragement, do not think enough of
themselves! However, there is a great difference between thinking of your
potential in the very family and the Kingdom of God and your actual "net worth"
as a person today.

Believe it or not, the Bible teaches that we should not have the kind of
self-confidence" promoted by most of the psychology books! As a matter of fact,
one might assume God says we should feel exactly the opposite from the
approach presented to us by most psychologists.

Jeremiah, writing about the human mind and human nature, said, "The
heart [the mind] is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked [margin:
sick]; who can know it? I the Eternal search the heart, I try the reins, even to
give every man according to hisways, and according to the fruit
of his doings" (Jeremiah 17:9, 10).

The apostle Paul said, "For I know that in me (that is, in my
flesh) dwells no goodthing: for to will is present with me; but
how to perform that which is good I find not" (Romans 7:18). Here Paul was
talking about the "downward pull" of human nature!

He said later, "Because the carnal mind is enmity against God:
for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be" (Romans
8:7).

In explaining this downward pull, he said this, "The good that I want to
do, I can't do, and the evil which I really don't want to do, I find myself
doing!

"Now, if I do that which I don't want to do, it isn't really me that is
doing it, but sin that seems to dwell in me.

"I have found there is a law that, when I want to do good, evil is
present within me.

"Actually, I delight in the law of God after the inward man—but I
find another law in my physical members, in conflict against the law of mind,
which tends to bring me into captivity to the law of sin which rages in my
members.

"O wretched man that I am! Who can deliver me from this body of death?

"But I thank God that through Jesus Christ our Lord it can be done!

"So then, with my innermost mind, I myself—the real me—serve the
law of God, but with my physical, fleshly body I tend to serve the law of
sin" (Romans 7:19-25, paraphrased).

When Job repented he "came to himself." That is, for the first time in
his entire life, with all of the ego, jealousy, vanity, especially his
incredible amount of self-righteousness, stripped away, Job saw only the true
emptiness that was within.

He said to God, "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear: but now
my eye sees You. Wherefore I abhor myself and repent in
dust and ashes" (Job 42:5,6).

But, once a person has come to this total awareness of the law of "sin
and death" that rages in our members and has come to the point of abhorrence
of self, it is to be immediately replaced with the true appraisal of the
ultimate worth of oneself—that is, the ultimate potential that is there!

Even as Jesus said no man yet has "hated his own flesh," so these
scriptures in God's Word are not intended to replace feelings of false
self confidence with great feelings of guilt.

Unfortunately some religionists have gone to an opposite extreme! In
their haste to do away with all the "pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps"
philosophies of pseudo success, they have tended to shift to the opposite
extreme of instilling in people feelings of total worthlessness!

Some religious teachers urge upon people continual feelings of
rejection, worthlessness, guilt, vanity, carnality, enmity and hostility toward
God, futility and uselessness. Such feeling can in extreme cases lead
toward suicide and sometime do just that.

In my own personal experience I recall that a few years ago a Bible
instructor in the college of which I was president was giving one of his
"don't-live-a-double-life" lectures in the freshman Bible class. Unfortunately
this very stern and harsh lecture concerning the secret sins in people's private
lives happened to be scoring far more telling blows in the mind of at least one
frightened, defeated and frustrated young person than the professor might have
known.

Consequently the young freshman, his mind filled with feelings of total
frustration and discouragement, walked straight out of this professor's
classroom, continued several blocks to Pasadena's famous "Suicide Bridge" and
leaped to his death in the arroyo below.

How about that as a "fruit" of religious teaching?

By means of a lecture on the secret sins of people's private lives, a
young man was so deeply thrown into the blackest kind of discouragement and
despair that the only way "out" he could see was to hurl himself off a bridge.

Does God really intend this kind of self-hate?

We shall see!

Should You Hate Yourself?

The apostle Paul said, "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver
me from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24).

Was he lying about his deepest feeling of self?

Did Paul really feel "wretched"? He said he did, and he said so
under the inspiration of God's Holy Spirit—the "other Comforter" Christ said He
would send and which He called "the Spirit of truth."

Some assume Paul didn't really mean he had any personal feelings
of spiritual inadequacy and seem to feel Paul was only "faking it," only
attempting to appear "humble."

No, Paul meant it fully. However, he was contrasting himself in his
purely human, day-to-day physical state with the perfect spiritual law of God
(Romans 7:14).

When making such comparisons any human being is bound to fall far short.
What about even thinking a thought tinged around the edges with evil?
What about moments of irritation, anger or even hatred? If you experience these,
then you have in that moment broken the spirit of the Ten Commandments—broken
the law, sinned! John said, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive
ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins [to Him,
not to any human priest, or to other human beings], He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that
we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us" (1 John 1:8-
10).

Paul was not afraid to acknowledge that he fell short of God's
perfection.

He knew that—putting all his past sins and experiences and his present
difficulties (striving to do the right thing and falling short) into one lump
sum—he came up feeling inadequate.

But on balance you need to equate these statements with other scriptures
wherein Paul was speaking of self-righteousness and feelings of self-worth.

Paul was concerned for the fledgling Christians of the Corinthian
church. False ministers were turning their heads, making them feel true
righteousness came from such physical efforts as circumcision, various physical
rituals and rites and self-righteous pharisaical attitudes.

To shame some of these new Christians who had begun to be impressed by
the "credentials" of such "great men," Paul wrote, "Seeing that many glory after
the flesh, I will glory also.

"For you suffer fools gladly, seeing you yourselves are wise. For you
suffer, if a man bring you into bondage, if a man devour you, if a man take of
you, if a man exalt himself, if a man smite you on the face.

"I speak concerning reproach, as though we had been weak. Howbeit whereinsoever any is bold, (I speak foolishly) I am bold also.

"Are they Hebrews [these false teachers]? so am I. Are they Israelites?
so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I.

"Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labors
more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in death oft.

"Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I
beaten with rods, once I was stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a
day I have been in the deep; in journeyings often, in perils of waters, in
perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen,
in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in
perils among false brethren; in weariness and painfulness, in watchings often,
in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

"Besides those things that are without, that which comes upon me daily,
the care of all the churches.

"Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?

"If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern my
infirmities" (2 Corinthians II: 18-30).

Later he said, "…For in nothing am I behind the very chiefest apostles,
though I be nothing. Truly the signs of an apostle were wrought among you in all
patience, in signs, and wonders, and mighty deeds" (2 Corinthians 12:11,12).

Paul had said at the beginning of this discourse, "For I suppose I was
not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles" (2 Corinthians 11:5).

One of the wonderful things about the Word of God is that it allows the
human nature of its strongest heroes to shine through. We are able to see the
humility and meekness of Paul when he says he is "wretched" when measured
against God's righteous, spiritual, perfect law, yet see his boldness in
comparing himself with the "very chiefest" of the other apostles, human beings
just like Paul and men who had the same carnal pulls of human nature.

Paul's sarcasm toward the false teachers, his willingness to descend
into the "foolishness" of carnal comparisons of various ethnic and religious
"credentials," is obviously an exercise in futility. Yet he shows that, if
those are the standards by which the Corinthians were going to judge he
stood head and shoulders above the others who were leading them astray.

Still, even in the boldness of physical comparison, Paul maintained his
meekness. At the end of the entire dissertation he said "though I be nothing"
(2 Corinthians 12:11).

Paul could feel "wretched" by comparison to God's perfect,
righteous, spiritual law, but he could hold his head high when
carnal-minded religious teachers wanted to hide behind "spiritual credentials."
Paul had an accurate appraisal of self-worth. He said Christ had revealed to
him, "...My grace is sufficient for you," and continued, "… for my strength is
made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Through Jesus Christ, on faith, Paul could feel strong. He
could have total confidence, a deep flowing sense of complete commitment of
purpose, of an ultimate goal and of self-worth in knowing he was
accomplishing his own personal destiny in spite of his personal failings.

By looking to Jesus Christ as his righteousness and not searching into
his own feelings of inner guilt or inadequacy, by having the faith to know he
was forgiven when he sinned, he pressed toward the calling of Christ with his
eyes firmly fixed on his Savior—filled with absolute conviction that the
final outcome would be right!

Paul never became suicidal with despondency, even though he had more
than enough to bother his conscience, or to hurt his feelings, or cause for
complaint through physical suffering, rejection, persecution and fear of death.

Did Paul Become Discouraged?

Anyone reading through the scriptures above ("...five times received
I forty stripes save one") carefully and trying to imagine exactly how it
feels can understand. Paul was lashed to the stocks, stripped to the waist
and beaten with whips five times, when even the shame of feeling
one cut of a lash would be forever indelibly imprinted on the mind.
Notwithstanding the physical anguish, what about the damage to the spirit? Many
a man has been reduced to a whimpering, fear-ridden shadow of a man by such
horrible beatings. Prisoners of war can testify to strong men being turned into
craven collaborationists through physical torture. Yet Paul endured such
terrible suffering and, not only endured it, but also was able to use the
experience in teaching others.

Once Paul was stoned. So far as he knew the end of his life had come. He
was stood up against the wall, the traditional stoning place where those guilty
of alleged capital crimes were put to death, and a large crowd proceeded to hurl
hundreds of stones at him. The hail of rocks of every size that could be hefted
and hurled was impossible to dodge. Finally, after his back, sides, anus,
shoulders, head, face, legs and every part of his body had been struck until he
was a mass of purpled and blackened bruises, with welling cuts and abrasions, he
fell into a heap, partially buried by the growing mound of stones.

At length someone shouted for the hail of rocks to stop, and, stooping
to check whether their victim was indeed dead, tried to find signs of life.

Paul's pulse was so low, the heart a mere faint flutter, that his
antagonists assumed he was dead, so he was dragged out of the city and rolled
over a slight precipice.

No doubt friends later picked him up and cared for him (see Acts
143:19,20).

What does it take to discourage someone?

Paul had more reason than ninety percent of the human race for feeling a
"what's the use?" attitude! No one would have blamed him if he simply gave up
and quit.

But he didn't.

Do you know why?

Paul had been party to horrible outrages against Christians, and it
constantly sawed against his conscience.

In the stoning of Stephen, Paul (whose name was Saul then) was an
interested spectator. Though he didn't take part directly, he nevertheless
guarded the garments of those who did and watched the murder take place. "Then
they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and ran upon him with
one accord, and cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid
down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul" (Acts 7:57,58).

No doubt thoughts of this participation in a stoning came back clearly
while Paul was himself feeling the sickening shock of jagged rocks thudding into
his flesh and bones years later.

"And Saul was consenting unto his death. And at that time there was a
great persecution against the church which was at Jerusalem; and they were all
scattered abroad throughout the regions of Judaea and Samaria, except the
apostles ... As for Saul, he madehavocof the church,
entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison"
(Acts 8:1-3).

A Complete Transformation

After being struck down and blinded on the road to Damascus, Saul
underwent a complete transformation in his life. He became converted,
completely changed! From a carnal-minded, hostile, hate-filled
murderer of men and women, a tyrannical terror whose very name conjured up
visions of ghastly suffering, Paul (even his name was changed) became one of the
kindest, gentlest, most loving, forgiving, longsuffering Christian men in
history. His letters are wonderful testimony to his humility. His self-effacing
attitude of gratitude for Christ's loving mercy and his perseverance under the
most unimaginable trials and suffering are wonderful examples.

Paul spoke of the great change in his life in his life in his defense
before King Agrippa. "I verily thought with myself, that I ought to do many
things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Which thing I also did in
Jerusalem: and many of the saints did I shut up in prison, having received
authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I gave my
voice against them.

"And I punished them oft in every synagogue, and compelled them to
blaspheme; and being exceedingly mad against them, I persecuted them even unto
strange cities" (Acts 26:9-11).

Paul's conscience was washed clear and clean by the atoning sacrifice of
the blood of Jesus Christ long before he made these statements to Agrippa. Yet
the poignant, painful memory or having actually tormented poor human beings to
the point of forcing them to scream out curses against God before they died
plagued his mind.

He knew he was forgiven, knew Jesus Christ had spoken to him on the road
to Damascus (Acts 26:14,15) and remembered vividly the time he had spent with
Christ (who appeared to him over a long period of time), and still he was able
to remember with a good deal of shame the horrible things he had done (see 1 Corinthians 15:8; 9: 1; Galatians 1: 12,17,18).

During the rest of his ministry, Paul was continually able to contrast
his past actions with the love and mercy of Christ. He was able to keep a proper
balance between the knowledge of his past sins and his feelings of unworthiness
and humility as a result, and, on the other hand, his feelings of self-worth.
Paul knew he was a leading apostle and said so.

"For I suppose I was not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles" (2 Corinthians 11:5); "...for in nothing am I behind the very chiefest apostles,
though I be nothing " (2 Corinthians 12:11).

With Paul it was a matter of keeping his goals clearly in mind, never
deviating from the whole absorbing, consuming purpose in his life, and never
accepting a diffusion of goals, false, aimless, useless goals, or being subject
to dark feelings of self-pity and inferiority.

He very likely had a terrible physical infirmity (Galatians 6: 11; 4:15
and 2 Corinthians 10:10) to add to his troubles. Evidence indicates it may have
been a disease of the eyes, causing not only partial blindness (to prove the
authenticity of his letter to the Galatians he said, "See how with such large
letters I have written to you in my own handwriting"), but the additional burden
of physical ugliness.

For all this Paul was not discouraged or tormented by feelings or
worthlessness.

Look at Paul objectively—try to imagine him as a man you know, a
neighbor perhaps. Here was a man who had violently persecuted Christians, even
causing them to curse God before they died, a man whose conscience would forever
be indelibly burnt with the recollections of those persecutions. He said "[I]
was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy,
because I did it ignorantly in unbelief .. Jesus came into the world to save
sinners; of whom I am chief' (1 Timothy 1: 13-15).

He said, "For you have heard of my conversation in time past in the
Jews' religion, how that beyond measure I persecuted the church of God, and
wasted it..." (Galatians 1: 13).

Here was a man who constantly bore the shame of his past sins even
though he knew he had been forgiven—who always stayed humble through that
knowledge. "And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born [Greek
gennao, meaning "begotten"] out of due time. For I am the least of the
apostles, that am not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the
church of God" (1 Corinthians 15:8,9).

Yet, in spite of these memories, Paul was able to hold up his head in
confidence and say on other occasions that he was no "one whit behind the very chiefest apostles."

Here was a man who lived alone—not being married because of the terrible
hardships he suffered in the preaching of the Gospel.

Analyze his life up to this point.

Deny Christ's Blood?

How many people do you know (including yourself) who allow knowledge
of theirpast guilt to drag them down? How many people are there
who actually deny the blood of Christ through their guilt?

How do you deny Christ's blood? If you feel His shed blood is not
sufficient for you personally—that you are a special exception, that
your filthy past is so bad that you certainly cannot ever be
forgiven—then you are denying the power of Christ's sacrifice! But His shed
blood is perfectly adequate, totally efficacious for you. How many tens of
thousands of "tired old Christians" are there who have given up in defeat, who
are just slipping along in life, harboring feelings of discouragement, doubt,
fear and worry because of their own personal sins?

How many are there who have swallowed Satan's lie that if you sin in
this or that category, and you are forgiven, and then, if you sin again in
the same category, you are all finished?

Listen! the only sin that is "unpardonable" sin is a sin from which a
person refusesto beg God's pardon!

Jesus Christ was "Himself tempted in every point like as we are," and
the Bible says the greatest men of Scripture—David, Elijah, Moses and
others—were "men of like passions with us."

So one of the first steps to a real cure for discouragement is to
quit thinking your case is different! Wake up and realize that your
problems are no worse than those faced by thousands and thousands of others—and
probably nowhere near so great! Think about Paul again. Have you
ever been shipwrecked? Have you ever been beaten with canes? Ever been
whipped almost senseless—not once, but three, four and five times? Ever been
stoned and dragged unconscious out of town and left for dead?

Probably not.

No matter how terrible your own personal problems may seem at the time,
you can probably think of any number of people who are worse off, who are
suffering trials that are almost unimaginable. Practically every day you read in
the papers or hear over the news of people whose loved ones are murdered, raped,
robbed or injured in automobile accidents. You hear of the incredible poverty,
squalid conditions, disease and death in the overpopulated, underdeveloped
countries. What is your situation in comparison with others?

Settle the Big Question First

The second step is to completely rid yourself of feelings of guilt!

But how?

Jesus said, "Repent!"

To repent means to be deeply remorseful and sorry you have broken God's
holy, righteous and spiritual law (Romans 7:12-14). "…Except you repent, you
shall all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3). "…Repent, and be baptized every one of
you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive
the gift of the Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38).

When one repents and is baptized (Romans 6), God promises to forgive!
"For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their
iniquities will I remember no more" (Hebrews 8:12).

"Who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases;
who redeems your life from destruction; who crowns you with loving kindness and
tender mercies ... The Eternal is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and
plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will He keep His anger for
ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our
iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His
mercy toward them that fear Him.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our
transgressions from us. Like as a father pities his children, so the Eternal
pities them that fear Him" (Psalms 103:3-13).

John wrote, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John
1:9).

The really biggest question of all is what happens when you die?

God's Word says all have sinned and come short of the glory of
God (Romans 3:23) and that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). That means
death from which there is no resurrection—death for all eternity!

Remember it is given to "all men once to die" because that is the very
nature of man since Adam.

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive" (1 Corinthians 15:22). The natural death that comes to us all from some finalcause or other is not the punishment for sin. It is natural,
set in motion at creation. We are born, we live, and we die. But the wages of
sin is "the second death" (Revelation 20:14) in a lake of fire (verse 15).

The greatest question in your life is a question of eternity. God
wants to grant you eternal life, life forever, which is very God-life, being
made a member of the very family of God.

Jesus Christ is called the "firstborn of the dead" (Colossians 1: 18)
and the "firstborn among many brethren" (Romans 8:29). Christ is the "firstfruits"
of the dead (1 Corinthians 15:23).

When you are born of God by a resurrection from the dead, you
inherit life eternal! Notice. "If in this life only we have hope in
Christ, we are of all men most miserable. But now is Christ risen from the dead,
and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death, by
man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in
Christ shall all be made alive. But every man in his own order. Christ the
firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at His coming ...
the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death " (1 Corinthians
15:19-23,26).

That ultimate enemy, that greatest of fears, that dark, unknown
mystery—death—needs to be conquered in your mind. Christ has triumphed over
death, destroyed its power Satan is characterized as the former "lord of
the dead," as the one have power over the grave. And Christ, through being
killed, being buried and then resurrected, has overcome that power and
has destroyed the power of the grave.

What you need to do is to receive Jesus Christ as your personal
Savior from death! That is the really big decision in your life.

It is a more important decision than marriage, purchasing a home or an
automobile or having children. It is more important than having an operation or
any other choice of life.

The first step toward overcoming doubt, discouragement, fear, worry and
feelings of futility is to repent and receive Jesus Christ as your
personal Savior! He said, "Repent you, and believe the Gospel" (Mark 1:15).

Let Go of Your Faith

Next, you need to quit worrying your faith!

Tens of thousands of people think they might be forgiven. They
hope they might have been forgiven—they once remember asking God for
forgiveness—but they're not quite sure.

They listen to the devil's lies. Satan is the constant "accuser of the
brethren" who day and night keeps trying to fill God's ears with accusations
against God's people.

He is the original sinner, the first liar and the very architect of all
sin! He is the origin of your sins too! Not that you didn't have
something to do with your sins—vou did—but Satan was the primary influence
in your sins. As such he has his guilt to bear too. You didn't sin alone.
You didn't sin because you wanted to. You probably wanted to rationalize
around in your mind that what you were doing was somehow right under the
special circumstances.

You wanted to "do right"—you wanted to "be good," but somehow the desire
to do good was not quite strong enough to overcome the pull of your own human
nature, your physical lusts and appetites, and the unseen, powerful influence of
this world and of Satan the devil!

Like Paul you found it was like a natural law that, when you
wanted to do good, evil was present with you. That was Satan! He
must bear his guilt in your sins, and finally God will place squarely upon Satan
that guilt, where it belongs (That act is pictured by the solemn observance of
the Day of Atonement, one of the seven annual Holy Days of God, showing Satan
finally bound and the world at one with God).

Don't believe the present lies of Satan, who likes to nag around the
edges of your consciousness and try to convince you that you weren't really
wholly forgiven! Satan would like you to worry about your forgiveness—to
worry over your faith!

Like a little puppy "worrying" a rag in playfulness, many people keep
worrying over their faith. Instead of just dropping the matter, believing
completely that they have been forgiven, they allow their present
tendencies toward carnality to cast doubt continually on their past conversion,
make them doubt God, doubt their repentance and baptism, doubt God's Holy
Spirit!

You need to quit worrying your faith, and let go of it!

Baptism: a Type of Burial

The purpose for baptism is to act out a burial ceremony. Read Romans
6. God tells us we are "buried by baptism" as if we are considered dead
to the law. God's law demands the death penalty, but Christ has suffered that
penalty for us in our stead. His death, burial and resurrection are
symbolized in our taking of the Passover (Lord's Supper) once each year to
reconfirm our acceptance of His shed blood for the removal of all past guilt,
and by the ceremony of baptism, being lowered completely into water as a
symbol of burial!

Funeral directors explain that funeral services help bereaved family
members accept the fact of death. When one dies, is he merely taken
quietly away and buried with no ceremony? No, a church or chapel service is
usually held. The body may even be on view, and there may be a grave-side
service with relatives actually witnessing the interment of the coffin. Though
always painful, this ceremony helps the grieving survivors accept the fact that
death has taken place. Seeing the funeral service or the burial indelibly forces
upon the memory that one has died, that death is final!

Have you ever dreamed that someone who had died was still alive? But,
awakening from such a dream, you probably were forced to remember the funeral,
the burial. No matter how vividly your memory tried to convince you that person
was notreally dead, you reminded yourself that you knew that
person had died, that you had seen his dead body or that your other
relatives had, and you realized it was only a dream.

This tendency to resist accepting the fact of death is why the
families of "MIAS" (soldiers "missing in action") or families whose loved ones
are listed as "missing" in an airline crash or ship disaster or storm have such
a difficult time. They always hold out hope their loved one still lives—since
there was no proof of death! They believe, sometimes against all odds and
over a span of many years, that their loved one is still alive!

But, after a funeral service has occurred, no matter how badly they
might want to think their loved one is still alive, they must face the
incontrovertible fact that death has occurred!

Satan wants you to believe your "old man" (Ephesians 4:22) is not
really dead. He wants you to believe your old self is like a
"missing-inaction" report, probably still alive! If he can get you to
doubt your conversion, doubt your baptism and doubt you have truly been
forgiven, then he has you actually doubting the power of Christ's blood,
the power of His death, burial and resurrection!

But Satan is a liar and the father of all lies!

If you repent, the next step is baptism.

Baptism is a symbol of your burial. The "old man of sin" has been
destroyed, and, when you are brought up out of the water, a water 11 grave,"
after a moment's complete submergence (baptism means "immersion," not
"sprinkling" or "pouring"), all your sins of the past are left behind!

All of them!

You need to believe that, to come to know it!

Perhaps a few mental thought processes could help. You know that many
relatives visit a grave to place flowers upon it from time to time. Have you
ever thought (if doubts nag your mind) about the site of your baptism? You
should think of it as a grave site, the place where you left your
sins behind. I am not suggesting a visit to a river bank or baptismal
pool in someone's basement or a church; I'm suggesting that the site of your
baptism is like a permanent place, a permanent happening that
actually occurred there! In that point of time, you left your sins behind!

You need to have the faith to know that your old man is
gone—dead, buried—to know that you are walking in newness of life.
"… Put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt
according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and
that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and
true holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24).

"If you then be risen [by being brought up out of baptism] with Christ,
seek those things which are above, where Christ sits on the right hand of God
... For you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God" (Colossians
3:1-3).

"Therefore we are buried with Him by baptism unto death: that like as
Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also
should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the
likeness of His death, we shall be also in the likeness of His resurrection:
Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might
be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin" (Romans 6:4-6).

A New Life!

When one is truly converted, a new life begins!

The Bible speaks of "walking" (living) in newness of life—a different
way of life from that prior to conversion.

Your repentance, baptism and total change of attitude are brought about
by receiving the very mind and nature of God—His Holy Spirit!

"For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is
life and peace ... But you are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be
that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of
Christ, he is none of His. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of
sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him
that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from
the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwells in you"
(Romans 8:6-11).

When your human, physical existence is "quickened" by the Holy Spirit,
it means being made truly, spiritually alive. A new creature, in
Christ, has begun.

You are then called a "babe in Christ," a newly begotten new creation!

Think about it.

How many little babies do you know who awaken each morning with a
monstrous cloud of guilt hanging over them? Why should a new creature,
a little baby in Christ, feel guilty, ashamed, condemned or embarrassed?

No! Healthy little babies are usually the happiest little creatures
alive, gurgling their joyous acceptance of life with smiles and laughter toward
their parents when they are well fed, comforted and cared for. They are a new
human life, and they are innocent—no feelings of guilt!

When you repent and are baptized and receive God's Holy Spirit, you
become a new creation of Christ, and you should feel innocent,
because you are!

What About Present Sins?

If you were converted at some time in the past, but you still
have difficulty in overcoming feelings of guilt, it may be that you do not
understand how you can be forgiven for present sins—or sins and mistakes
you may have made since your baptism!

Remember. "… God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we
were yetsinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We were living in
sin, in a constant sinful state, contrary to God's laws, carnally minded
and hostile to the way of God and the Ten Commandments of God.

But, when we repent, Christ's shed blood forgives us of our past sins!
"Much more then, being now justified by His blood..." (verse 9).

Justified means being forgiven of past guilt! It is
not blanket forgiveness of present and future sins and mistakes, but the
removal of all past sins and mistakes up to and including the moment of baptism
and the laying on of hands for the receiving of God's Holy Spirit. Christ's
death removes your past guilt—but it requires a living Savior,
the life of Christ as a daily High Priest at the right hand of God the Father,
to forgive you on a daily basis!

"For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled [justified] to God by
the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His
life!" (Romans 5: 10).

Notice the future tense in this scripture concerning the process of
being saved—the present progression of a Christian who will
make mistakes on a daily basis but who is looking to the daily intercession of a
living Savior for forgiveness!

Millions falsely assume the "death" of Christ saves you automatically,
that there is nothing further you must do! But notice that your
own Bible plainly states it is His death that removes your past guilt and
that it is His life, His daily intercessory work at the right hand of
God, that can forgive you now and tomorrow and the day after!

God's Word says, "If we [we who are Christians, we who have
already been baptized and have received the Holy Spirit] say that we have no
sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8,9). John is writing to converted people.
People who had already repented, been baptized and had hands laid on them for
the receiving of the Holy Spirit.

Yet he says, "If we say that we have not sinned," it is made clear that
all Christians still fall short of the mark of perfection, still make
mistakes, commit sins, omit the positive actions of love and faith toward others
on a virtually daily basis! "If we [converted Christians) say that we have
not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us" (1 John 1:10).

This is the crux of guilt feelings on the part of converted persons.

Many believe the devil's lies that—since they were once converted,
baptized and received the Holy Spirit and then they weakened, they "backslid,"
or they "went back into a life of sin"—they can now never be forgiven.

Oh, they want to be forgiven—they desperately want God's help.
They want to be restored to the love, mercy and goodness of Jesus Christ. But
they feel they are a special case, so low, so dirty, so
no-account, so useless and so guilty that God just cannot put up
with them any more.

The strongest proof that Jesus Christ can, and will, still forgive you
is your own deepest desire that He do so! If you want forgiveness, you
can be sure you have not sinned willfully.

These wonderful scriptures prove that even Christians can, and
do, sin!

They also prove that God is willing to forgive you when you sin—If you
sincerely and humbly call out to Him and ask for Jesus Christ's daily
intercession.

What About Long—Term Sinning?

But what about habits such as profanity, lying, smoking, drugs or sex
problems?

Will Jesus Christ forgive you when you know in your heart that you
should not do something, such as smoking, but you do in on an almost continual
basis?

First, let's understand that smoking is a physical matter, an assault
(and insult) against your body. It is only "spiritual" in the sense that
it may break the commandment against "coveting" (to lust for physical
satisfaction of the senses). It is not the grossest of all sins—it is not the
most obnoxious, hated, ugly, evil act of all time—as some might portray it. But
it is something Christians should not do.

Let's assume you are a smoker and you want to repent and be baptized and
receive God's Holy Spirit.

But then for some reason—the same old companions, same bowling team,
same restaurants or bars, same business or job—you revert to your old habits and
are tempted to smoke again.

Is this the unpardonable sin?

Absolutely not! You probably need help with the problem since it canbe as much a problem of the nervous system and have deep physiological roots
as well as psychological ones. The Schick centers can give people help, and
there are many excellent books written by former smokers that can help. God can
help through prayer. You can change your places of recreation, alter your daily
routines.

But, even after trying all this, suppose you slip up now and then?

God can still forgive you if you want to be forgiven! You will
eventually break that grip on yourself with His help!

What about a person who is virtually a prisoner to medicines or drugs?

God still loves that person. Jesus Christ understands his terrible human
weaknesses—He stands ready to help lift away the burden of "the sin which doth
so easily, beset us" (Hebrews 12:1) when He is called upon for help.

Notice. "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who
for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and
is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him that
endured such contradiction of sinners against Himself, lest you be wearied and
faint in your minds. You have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin"
(Hebrews 12:2-4).

What? "Resisted unto blood, striving against sin"? Then you are pictured
(even as a baptized, converted Christian), not as a posturing,
self-righteous, pharisaical, "perfect" person who never sins, but as a
struggling, working, praying, striving person doing daily
battle against your sinful nature just as the apostle Paul said he
did!

You have probable "resisted unto guilt" or "resisted unto hopelessness"
or "resisted unto your near total exhaustion" against some temptations of your
flesh—but have you "resisted unto blood, striving against sin"?

Probably not.

David prayed, "Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me
from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
Against You, You only [all sin is against God], have I sinned, and done
this evil in Your sight, that You might be justified when You speak, and be
clear when You judge. Behold, I was shaped in iniquity; and in sin did my mother
conceive me ... Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall
be whiter than snow" (Psalms 51:2-7).

This beautiful psalm of repentance is a good one to read on you knees,
to make as your own prayer to God. Next time you are showering or bathing, you
might be saying to God, in your mind, that even as you are being physically
cleansed (just as David referred to "hyssop," which is a strong cleansing
agent), so you ask God to cleanse you spiritually.

Close the Door on Sins Past

When you go through a door and close it behind you, you might think
that is the way your old sins were left behind—like the closing of a door, the
closing of an old book, the final, absolute departure from sins that are past.

Remember, then, that you are not the only one with problems. There are
tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions of people who have
similar problems, and many of them even worse problems than you have.

Remember that God loves you, that He is not willing that "any should
perish." Remember that Jesus says to you, "Come unto Me, you that are weary, and
heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

He says, "Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of
Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the
Holy Spirit" (Acts 2:38).

You need to enter into a personal relationship with your Savior, Jesus
Christ of Nazareth, who can wash away all your sin. He can become your dailyHigh Priest (Hebrews 9:14-28) to help you with every personal need.

You need to know, and know that you know, that all guilt
has been buried—washed away, forgotten—removed from you completely.

You need to know you are a "new creation" in Christ, like a newborn
baby, completely free from your guilty past and joyously looking forward
to each day in the knowledge that if you do make a mistake you can be sorry
about it, repent of it, go to God in prayer and ask for forgiveness from it, and
go to sleep that night knowing you are forgiven.

If you wish personal counseling, and if any of our ministers or
helpers can serve you in any way—if this booklet has inspired further questions,
or if you want to discuss your own spiritual needs—then please write to us and
let us know.

And remember, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!"

-End-

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This publication is intended to be
used as a personal study tool. Please know it is not wise to take any man's word
for anything, so prove all things for yourself from the pages of your own Bible.

The activities of the Garner Ted
Armstrong Evangelistic Association are paid for by tithes, offerings and
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