Why being nice to women doesn't always work

Should i be a nice guy?

I am sure you have been told more than once before that nice guys finish last when it comes to dating. In my previous article Why nice guys finish last i explained how the biological makeup of women, and of humans in general, prevent them from becoming attracted to needy people.

But what exactly happens inside the brain of a woman when she meets a nice guy?
How do her thoughts change?
And what forces her to make certain decisions about that person?

In order to be able to leave the perfect impression during first meetings you first need to understand how the human mind works.

Motivation and unexpected rewards

Tens of studies were carried out to find out how rewards motivate people to achieve more and it was found that when the reward becomes unexpected the person exerts the most effort. (see also Why candy crush is so popular)

Do you know why people keep gambling and losing their money?
Its because they don't know what the next move might bring them. Its because they keep dreaming of the big reward. Each time a person gambles he puts high hopes that he will achieve the goals he is dreaming of.

"What if i got 10,000 dollars in the next attempt". A thought such as this one keeps the person extremely hooked to what he is doing.

Now back to women, when you become nice you become extremely obvious. Your next step can be concluded before you even take it. When she says a joke you will certainly smile and laugh back. In other words, the reward is 100% expected and this was proven to lower the motivation of people to pursue you.

Am i really interesting?

When you meet a person for the first time he might start to wonder what you think of him even if he was really confident. Now if the person got that answer very quickly he will stop thinking about it and he will get bored.

In my previous article Why being mysterious works i explained how people keep thinking about the questions that they can't answer. If you don't know what people think of you then you are very likley to keep thinking about that matter and you are very likley to start approaching them.

In my book The ultimate guide to making someone fall in love with you i explained how you can attract a person once he becomes needy. As soon as a person starts seeking your approval to find out whether you liked him or not (even if he wasn't interested in you) then you can intensify his feelings 10 times more by becomming more mysterious.

Imagine you met an interesting woman , didn't fall in love with her, but wasn't sure if she found you interesting or not, what will you do? There is a big possibility that you will try to talk to her again to find out.

Now if she became more mysterious you might start thinking about her more and eventually program your mind to like her. After all a thought that keeps visiting your brain on daily basis might force you to become attached to someone even if you weren't initially interested in him. (see also How to attract someon who is not interested in you)

So what does all this has to do with being nice?
When you become nice you become obvious, you let people feel calm because of having no unanswered questions and as a result they lose interest and get bored of you.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.