Online Parent Support Chat

29.1.09

I was thrown in jail over a spanking gone wrong...

We have been struggling with our son's behavior problem for some time now and ended up getting counseling and taking parenting classes. It seems we are offered no help from the juvenile and local police department. I will give you an example of what I am talking about. My wife calls the police because my son is in an outrage, he pulls the coax cable out of the wall because his mother tells him he is grounded from watching TV (he says if I can't watch TV then neither can you), he goes down to the basement and then turns the power off to the house. The police arrive and tell my wife if front of my son "I am sorry mam but I don't have a magic wand, there is nothing I can do". I forgot to mention where I am during the whole episode, I am kicked out of my own home and held away from my wife for 3 and a half months because of an episode with my son where I end up going to jail. My mother in law lets me stay at her house for the 3.5 months because she knows what type of a tyrant her grandson is.

Yes, I was thrown in jail over a spanking gone wrong. He was 14 at the time and his mother came to me sobbing telling me she needed more help with him so I agreed. The next day my son was yelling and cussing at my wife and then went down stairs to play on his x-box, I go downstairs and tell him I am taking his computer out of his room because of the way he has been talking to his mother (he was so enthralled with his x-box that I get no response), I start unplugging the computer and the usb cable he had going to the x-box which was hooked to the TV. Now I get a response, "what the fuck are you doing!!!!!!!!" says my son. I then tell him "Alex what did I just tell you about how you have been talking to people, you are going to get a spanking!". I start to lift him from the futon and he tries to hit me so I instinctively drop him or let go of him and throw my arms up in the air and tell my wife "I can't handle him", he sneaks out of the window and calls the police. My son is extremely intelligent and knows how to manipulate the system. He used lies to get me in trouble: an example of this is him pulling a "golf ball size wad of hair"from his pocket and presenting it to the officer for evidence (my son had very long thin blonde hair which he had pulled out himself to get me in more trouble), he also told the police I have been abusing him since he was about 5 years old. Keep in mind my son is highly intelligent and very convincing, the police take a statement from my wife and they say her story agreed with mine but that they were concerned for the safety of my son. I spent 3 days in lock down and then was not allowed to even have contact with my wife for the next 3.5 months. I say my son is extremely intelligent but have given no examples, I am talking top 2 percent of the nation on his last SAT scores (almost off the charts said the tag teacher), he is a tag (talented and gifted) student and has been since the first grade. I can go on and on with my story, but do not want to bore you with it. I can report however that I am and have been living with my wife and 3 daughters for the past 17 months. The first 12 were under a diversion agreement and our son has been living with my mother in law. She is to the point where she cant handle the stress caused by his behavior anymore. We are at the fork in the road where he may have to come back to live with us again or we may be forced to send him to a treatment facility. We do not want to lean toward the latter, this is why I am writing to you. Your program seems to focus on every aspect of his disrespectful, defiant behavior.