Ask Ed

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is when there is verbal and/or physical violence towards a family member or partner, such as a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or partner.

I’m a boy and I’m being abused – what should I do?

You might be surprised to know just how many boys suffer from abuse in their relationships – many more than you’d probably imagine. The fact is that 1 in 6 boys will experience some form of sexual abuse, often from someone just a few years older than them and who they are in a relationship with. If you are a boy who’s being abused don’t be scared to get help, no one is going to judge you.

What is stalking and what should I do if this is happening to me?

Stalking is one of the most common abusive behaviours and it can be very frightening. You can be stalked by a partner or ex-partner as well as strangers.

Stalking can mean all kinds of behaviours such as:

regularly sending unwanted flowers or gifts

frequent unwanted contact in person, by telephone, online or emails

damaging property

harassment of people close to you

physical or sexual assault

If this happens a lot, is not what you want and makes you feel scared, harrassed or anxious. then it is stalking and you don’t have to live with it.

If you feel you’re in danger, call the police on 999 at any time.

What I have done to deserve this abuse?

Nothing. It is not your fault, no-one should be abused by anyone, get help and get it stopped.

I think I have been raped, what should I do?

Talk to someone you trust about what happened and how you feel. If you have been raped you need to speak to a police officer as soon as you can. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble, but rape is a very serious crime and whoever did this to you must be stopped from doing it again. You may also have to visit a nurse or doctor. This is to check you are Ok but also to make sure evidence is collected so that the person who committed the crime can be caught and prosecuted.

What is grooming?

If someone makes friends with you either online or in person then tries to control you or push you into doing things you don’t want to do, then this is grooming.

These people gain your trust, by being friendly or buying you gifts, then take advantage of you expecting you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it, tell them you are unhappy and get help from another trusted adult. If online you can report the abuse at www.thinkuknow.co.uk

My mum's partner shouts at me a lot and calls me useless – is this abuse?

If someone continually makes you feel bad, frightened and sad, this is emotional abuse. You may feel like it’s your fault – but it’s not. Talk to someone and get it stopped. There are lots of helpful websites and phone numbers on Trust Ed with people waiting to help you.