Surefire ways to piss off elder co-workers

Thanks for stopping by Apathy Ends! Going to switch it up a bit today and talk some Career Development for the millennial crowd. Even if you are not a millennial, please stick around and see if there is anything you can add in the comments – save us from ourselves!

Navigating the corporate ladder early in your career can be an interesting dynamic with sharp corners to smack your face on. Making good impressions, learning about office politics and googling buzzwords (Synergy baby!) takes a significant amount of time. Hopefully, I can save you from a few uncomfortable situations, or at least some resentment from your elder co-workers.

If you are at a company with a few hundred employees or more, you will be interacting with people fresh out of college all the way up to people with retirement cakes in the fridge. It doesn’t take long to figure out people have different motivation levels and expectations. The last thing you want to do is make enemies, especially enemies that have a say in your future career development.

Like all great posts, this one comes from a personal experience of making a co-worker cranky. Apparently, people don’t like when you schedule over their meetings a few times over the course of a year.

Hi Mr. AE

We’ve spoken about this before but I’d like to ask again if you could try to schedule your Demo outside of my weekly team meeting time? I know it seems like I have the team booked a lot but actually it’s only for 1 hour 3 days a week and a half hour every other Thursday.

I really appreciate any help in accommodating my schedule.

Can feel the passive aggressive tone in that email, and of course he had to CC my direct manager because we aren’t capable of working this out as peers. Trying to accommodate a team of 60 people across 3 time zones is not easy, and I inadvertently scheduled over his meeting a few times over the last year.

While I was initially annoyed, after I thought about it, I am actually glad he said something. If he didn’t I would have continued to do it and it would have eventually turned into something bigger than it is today. It also got me thinking that there are probably a lot of other ways to piss people off in the office so I started paying attention and asking around.

Surefire ways to piss off elder co-workers

Poor Work Ethic

A healthy work/life balance has been increasing in popularity among millennial employees. People want to work less but collect the same pay. To be honest, it sounds great and I am a huge fan of a healthy balance. Technology has made most jobs a lot easier, embrace the shorter work day but don’t twist the knife by ducking your responsibilities.

If something comes up that requires your team to stay late, don’t be one of the few who leaves. Take the good with the bad and stick it out.

Seeing people make good money for working less stings. Don’t rub it in by complaining and slacking on your responsibilities. Show up on time, be prepared for meetings, and finish what you commit to.

Stare at your Phone

As a millennial this one bothers me as well, but if you want to lose a lot of respect very quickly stare at your phone instead of participating in a conversation. It goes beyond just being rude, it shows that you think your time or opinion is more valuable than someone else’s.

If you think millennials have a phone problem…….I have some bad news for you with Generation Z entering the workforce soon.

Too good to start at the bottom

Don’t think you are too good for entry-level jobs, right out of college you have little to no experience, and starting at the bottom is the logical place in they eyes of your employer. Having the “I am too good to answer phones in customer support” attitude will quickly piss off more experienced employees that put their time in and worked their way up.

Your goal should be to quickly master the job and prove you are ready for the next step.

Discount Their Experience

No matter how smart, talented or insightful you are, you can’t replace years or decades of experience. It is easy to discount something we don’t understand, and honestly, I didn’t understand this whole “experience” thing until I had some of it.

If you blatantly ignore advice or their position (especially if you asked for it) they will not support your progress or path.

Seek out mentors that you respect, and soak up their knowledge. There are benefits to blazing your own path, but they might be able to save you from some real face slapper mistakes.

Not Dressing up for a Job Interview

I work at a tech company, and to say our company is “business casual” is an understatement. People wear shorts, hats, and sandals to work on a regular basis. Personally, I don’t care what people wear to work, it’s about whats between your ears not what clothes you own.

That being said, some people definitely do care. I interviewed for a new job last year with someone 20ish years older than me and he made a comment about me not being in a suit. I was a little surprised that he was so bold with his feedback, but took it as a lesson in dealing with someone who had different expectations for potential candidates.

It was an internal job and the person knew me, but he still wanted to see that I was serious about the job and apparently a suit helps prove that.

Take Aways

It all comes down to having a sense of entitlement before you have done anything to move the company forward. If you can check your ego at the door, put your past successes behind you and realize that your college degree isn’t all that valuable anymore – you will be fine.

A lot of these will piss off anyone, but I am more sensitive to elder co-workers due to the generational expectations. It also doesn’t hurt that your boss, and upper management are more than likely older than you are when you start your career.

One tip for an elder reader: Don’t refer to people younger than you as “Kids” unless you want to be called “Old Timer”

Any good angry co-worker stories out there? Did I miss anything that pisses you off?

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Comments

We would all love to work less and still make plenty of money, but you’re right that people will read a lot into your actions-especially when you’re new to the work force. I used to work with someone who was my age (mid-late 20’s) but she was always coming in late, leaving early, and having to be out for various emergencies. When working remotely she was never reachable and wouldn’t call into meetings that had been scheduled. I on the other hand was got in at 6 AM before anyone else, left at 3 but was always reachable after hours, and was responsive when working remotely (which was rare). Of course, I had some emergencies too but was always clear about my availability and communicated probably more frequently than I needed to. Of the two of us, guess who got a promotion, and who got laid off when times got tough?

I see this kind of thing repeating itself with some of the folks in our early career development program. The ones who are in the office on time, work late when needed, and are available/responsive when remote get respect and opportunities. The ones that are always missing deadlines, out without letting anyone know (including missing a meeting where they were supposed to present!), having emergencies, and coming in late/leaving early-don’t get those opportunities and don’t get respect. Flexibility is great, and by all means take advantage of it, but be sure to be really clear about your real availability when remote.

Great post AE! As an “old timer” in my business (education) I work with some amazing people (and some who need to check their ego’s at the door – of all ages). You hit a few really important points. The phone in hand is the most annoying thing ever. No one needs to have their phone with them at all times (unless they have an emergency situation). Younger employees often come to positions with excellent knowledge and a great work ethic, but don’t underestimate what experience brings. I work for a 32 year old (I’m 49) and he is quickly learning that if he doesn’t use those of us with experience as his allies, he will never make it. Humility is an important asset as you climb the ladder of work!

I love the entire premise of the post, but your conclusion practically led me to stand and applaud, Mr. AE. I’m amazed at the multitude of ways in which all sides of the generation gap continue to widen the divide by disrespecting the other side. Some people have forgotten that a little kindness and consideration go a long way.

On the flipside, there are also many ways to piss off your junior coworkers too. 😉 I also don’t like it when elder coworkers try to discount *my* experiences because I’m younger than them. And please don’t treat younger coworkers like they’re your kids or grandkids. I had one coworker (senior to me by 30 years) who SPANKED me at work. That was an HR nightmare to say the least. Don’t do that, guys.

But yes, most of these are annoying no matter what age you are. I’m turning 25 in a few weeks and I still get irritated beyond belief when someone is on their phone while I’m talking to them. Ugh!

I really, really don’t like when people CC your manager on emails like that. I have one horrible woman like that in my office who CC’s all the way up to our VP (!) for things like naming conventions on documents. It’s ridiculous.

Fitting into a tight knit group can be difficult. If you are joining a team that has been established for years, you need to take some time to get a feel for the team dynamics and you need to earn your “stripes”. I was the new guy a couple of different times. I made sure to spend time early watching and listening more. I also took on some difficult projects to relieve pressure on others. I earned their respect and then I earned being able to have a voice.

Music selection can also be a big deal. If you have a centralized system let everyone have a turn what is playing. If you play music on your own PC make sure it doesn’t interfere with those around you.

I have come into a few new teams as well and it can be intimidating for sure, even if the team is welcoming. 100% agree on the watch/listen advice – add to ask questions, it might take a little longer but its better than having it explained twice.

The CC’ing of a direct manager is a bush league, sucker punch. It’s the grown up version of tattle telling and like we used to say in prison* “snitches get stitches.”

If you’ve got a problem with someone, talk to them about it – never start off by escalating the situation. Cc’ing a manager for every minor issue could have a real world impact on someone’s job, pay, or bonus.

* I’ve never been to prison but have always wanted to use the snitches line 🙂

The best part is I know my boss would make fun of him for doing that if I asked about it. I don’t get why people can’t settle stuff with a 5 second conversation instead of a beat around the bush non-sensical email.

Awesome post, Mr. AE! The letter…oh my. It’s unfortunate your co-worker felt the need to present it that way and also CC your boss. It seems to me it all comes down to developing a healthy amount of responsibility, respect and humility. I think if you get those qualities mastered, you can avoid pissing off most people (though not all).

Haha I would like to argue a bit with the “3 1 hour meetings a week and 1/2 hour every other Thursday” isn’t a lot of time for team meetings – That is definitely a lot of time especially if you get an email like that if you didn’t attend a few times.

These are good thoughts for all generations. Surprisingly, it is the baby boomers here that stare at their phones a huge amount (sure I may be one of two millennials in the office but we are them way less)! I’ve found that if you show people respect and respect the things they are doing, you shouldn’t piss too many people off. Nice post!

I was born in ’81 so depending on which publication you look at, I’m either the very beginning of the Millennial generation or end of Gen X. Eye contact is another big one. I’m dumbfounded when interviewing or meeting with a younger millennial and they stare off into space or down at the floor. And a poor work ethic will piss off anyone. I really don’t care how many hours people work as long as they get their work done. It’s when they start getting behind and complaining about how busy they are when they show up at 9:30 and leave at 4. That’s when we start to have a problem.

Good list. Lot’s of good pointers for new employees entering the workforce.

I do have one additional recommendation on dress. Daily Dress like the person you wants job, not your peers. I work at a tech company where the average employee wears shorts and tshirts. But managment all dresses up. Why? They tell us to do so in management training and when you reach the upper parts of the company dress is mentioned in your reviews. So dress and act like that next rung on the ladder.

These are excellent points, especially if you consider that many of us old timers report, or have reported to people decades younger than us. “Don’t discount their experience” has been very important to me. At the same time, though, I would encourage older workers to not live in the past. You know the annoying people I’m referring to who constantly bring up former employees and the old days, just for the hell of it.

The guy that wrote me that email is one of the guys living in the old days, he works hard and is ok at what he does but is constantly battling change…..Not an asset at a technology company where change is embraced.

The one that gets to me the most is the phone. Definitely in a work environment, but also in conversations outside of work as well. I want to be able to have a conversation with someone without them pulling out their phone and cracking up at something as if I too knew what was funny.

Early on, I was guilty of an “I’m too good for this” attitude from time to time, but thankfully, I was able to shake the notion pretty quickly. My redeeming quality is always dressing to impress on interviews and rocking a suit.

as a fellow who is staring at retirement, i should mention that a lot of what’s “new” is what was old, but dressed up in new buzzwords. Serverless static web sites? Did that in the ’90s. Microservices on the cloud? I won’t tell you about time-share systems in the ’70s. it’s awesome to recognize the germ of the idea of the latest fad in something you worked on back in the day. I’m not saying the new coolness isn’t a huge improvement, or substantially different-better, just that there are points of continuity. when you grok **why** the old has come back, and why it left in the first place, it makes you better able to leverage other people’s work in creative ways.

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