Mom vs Step Mom

I need some advice. My mother and I have a bit of a strained relationship (to put it kindly). My step mom is overbearing.

Last month, I heard of a bridal expo coming to town and asked my mother to attend with me on Saturday. My mom normally works on Saturdays but said she could switch her schedule since I work on Sunday and can’t change my work.

Fast forward to today. My step mom called, left a voicemail, and asked if I wanted to attend the bridal expo with her. She also said I could invite my mom and she would buy us all tickets. I called my mom and asked if we could all go together. Now she is saying she can’t change her work schedule, but she can go after 2:00pm. It is more convenient for me to go in the morning (and I don’t want to miss signing up for freebies/giveaways).

I know my mom is hurt and feeling like she isn’t involved in the wedding process, but that stems from not being involved in my sister’s wedding and having to take a backseat to my step mom.

So what do I do? Do I go with my step mom at a time that is more convenient for us, or do I blow off my step mom and attend with my mother?

A little more info: mom and step mom get along just fine. Step mom has been in the picture for 20 years.

@shortie1848: Was your mom going to be able to go in the morning in the first place? If it were me, I’d probably go in the morning to sign up for stuff and hang out/not do anything important until mom gets there. That way they’re both involved.

@shortie1848: Why can’t the three of you go after your Mom gets off work? You can still sign up for all the freebies and giveaways. (Tip for that- take some return address labels- especially the free ones that charities send you- saves a bunch of time writing out your name and address).

I dont think moms should have to take a back seat to SMs. I can see why she was upset at SM taking over sister’s wedding. I would be more loyal. If your dad wants a role, that is fine, but unless SM raised you (not talking about everyother weekend), I would be careful about letting SM take over.

@julies1949: My mom feels VERY left out of the wedding process because she wasn’t involved in my sister’s wedding. My step mom interjected herself into the planning of my sister’s wedding, and therefore was involved. My mom resents step mom for that. Step mom also offered to pay for my wedding dress; my mom wanted to be the one to buy my dress, and feels like she’s being pushed out.

There are no in/out privileges at this venue. Plus there is an $8 fee just to park.

@shortie1848: Most of these events have some sort of refreshments available. It might not be the fanciest lunch, but it would be one way of bridging the morning with your stepmom, and the afternoon with your Mom.

I don’t know about where you live, but around here there are multiple bridal shows a month. Maybe you could go to this one with your step mom so you can go earlier like you wanted and go to another show with your mom.

Shortie, only you know all the family dynamics. My mom was the one I lived with, the one who told me I had to do my homework, and couldnt stay out with boys. My dad and SM took me to the beach every other weekend. It too me a few years to understand why there was tension betweem me and my mom. At the end of the day, I dont let SM be a mom. She is family, she is dad’s wife, but not my mom. If someone has to be politiely told “I’ve got that covered” – it will be SM.