Dave Metzbower turned down Princeton men's lacrosse head coaching job to spend more time with family

In the end, it was all too much. Dave Metzbower missed his kids. He missed his wife. The endless travel wore him down.

Metzbower, the top assistant men's lacrosse coach at Princeton for the past 20 years, turned down the program's head coaching job Tuesday. He would have replaced long-time coach Bill Tierney, who left the team on June 8 to become the head coach at Denver.

"The biggest thing was the time that I spent away from my family," Metzbower said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "College sports in general, they are pushing people to the brink with all the different things. Especially in lacrosse, there's so many tournaments out there, there's so many recruiting events and all that."

Metzbower, who had the title of associate head coach the past seven seasons, decided to leave Princeton all together. He hopes to spend more time with his wife and two children, ages 10 and 6.

"I'm taking a leap off a bridge," Metzbower said. "And I don't know where the bottom is. It's not like I have something planned."

Director of athletics Gary Walters said the search to replace Tierney springs wide open, beyond the Princeton campus, with Metzbower out. Walters declined to give a timetable for the process, but said that a new coach will be in place by the time fall practice begins for the 2009-2010 season.

"If you give me the end of the summer, we'll definitely be done by then," Walters said. "But my hope would be it would happen sooner then that."

The Tigers went 13-3 last season and advanced to the NCAA Tournament quarterfinals.

Metzbower's decision to leave, just days after Tierney did the same, surprised Walters.

Metzbower graduated from Delaware in 1986. He coached as an assistant there until 1990, when Tierney hired him. Together, they compiled a 230-63 record and won six NCAA championships -- including a three-peat from 1996 to 1998 -- and 14 Ivy League titles.

Leaving Princeton will bring about a lifestyle change for Metzbower.

For years, Metzbower rose each morning around 5 a.m., and returned each evening 13, 14, 15 hours later. When work ran too long, he sometimes slept at Tierney's house. And that was just during the season.

In the offseason, travel increased. Recruiting camps in Maryland. Scouting players in central New York. Multiple lacrosse events every day, throughout the Northeast.

"Metzy's just a Type-A guy, with such loyalty and such integrity that he would leave no stone unturned," Tierney said. "What that resulted in is never being home."

This spring, Metzbower said his son wanted to play lacrosse. But neither parent could find a way to get him to all the team events. Their son had friends who played T-ball, and he opted for that activity since it was easier to get rides to practices and games. Lacrosse would wait.

Those thoughts churned through Metzbower's mind after Tierney left and Princeton officially began to search for a new coach. Tierney recommended Metzbower as his successor. The athletic department discussed the job with Metzbower last week, and formally offered him the position on Monday, both parties said.

Metzbower said he will finish out his schedule at Princeton until a new coach arrives. He will attend the necessary camps and drive the necessary miles. Then he can be with his family.

He still hopes, some day, to become a head coach. He just doesn't know when.

"Like Villanova, say, if they ever came to me and offered an opportunity for me to coach there, that would probably make my life a lot easier," said Metzbower, a suburban Philadelphia resident. "And I don't know if it would be right away, too, because in making this decision I said, 'You know what? I got to give some time.'"