I was recently in Croatia with Jimmy and I ran into a girl that Bojangles has been very friendly with over the past couple of years. She’s almost exactly what both Jimmy and I were looking for: she’s super hot for a start, very feminine, has a lot of charisma, and is intelligent to top it all off. The reason why Bojangles got her number in the first place was obvious as hell – this is the kind of girl that people scour the streets for.

Me and her have the same kind of “banter” with each other, while Bojangles is firmly in charge of any situation with her. He leads, and she follows. Her and I get on well, and even the quickest of encounters with her seemed like reacquainting with an old flame despite the fact that I’ve hardly spent any time with her.

A hypothetical question popped into my head after I said bye to her: “when can you hit on your friend’s girl?” This spurred on a conversation between Jimmy and I, and my immediate answer was “never“.

This girl has a boyfriend, and he’s a massive chump, and she’s really, really into Bojangles. She has been for 2 years, but it hasn’t progressed anywhere for a number of reasons – the main one being that he’s not in Croatia to have something solid with her, which a lot of girls are careful about over there and in particular, the high value girls like her.

Any other guy would look at the situation and see that nothing has progressed between his mate and this girl, and as a result, try and capitalise on his friend’s “failure”. See if he can strike lucky where his friend hasn’t. This is shithouse behaviour of the highest order, and any guy friends that you have that try and swoop in on one of your girls, no matter what the situation is, deserves to be binned from your life.

If you bought a Playstation 3 a few years ago and upgraded it to a Playstation 4, thus forgetting about your older model, would you be okay with your friend coming to your house while you’re not in and taking it away from you just because you don’t use it? Of course not. Why should it be the same with a girl?

When you’ve had any sort of connection with a girl in the past or in the present, or indeed if you’re trying to build a connection for the future, that girl is strictly off limits to your friends. Switching the roles around, that girl is strictly off limits to you if your friend has a connection with a girl, no matter how much you like her or how much you get on with her. Or how much you want to get into her pants.

I’ve seen posts on the internet where guys have called their girlfriends all sorts of different names because she slept with one of his friends. Either she cheated on him by shagging his mates, or shagged them soon after ending a relationship with him. In most situations, the guy who got cheated on or had his mates swoop in on his girl calls his girl a slut and rants about her. Indeed, she may be a slut for doing that, but you need to look at your mates.

Once your friend has identified a girl, in your eyes she is gone from you forever as a “target”. You should also expect the same behaviour from your friends and if not, you’ve got trouble. Anyone that you can’t trust around your “property” needs to be kept as far away from it as possible. And by that, I mean, gone from your life so he can’t interfere.

I don’t mean to label a girl as “property”, but you get the idea.

So, in answer to the question, “when can you hit on your friend’s girl?”, the answer quite simple is: never.

There are certain situations, however, where you can make way with that girl. It requires a little something called “communication” which so many people seem to struggle with these days in all walks of life.

Let me give you an example. You and your mates hit up a bar one night. Your mate starts talking to a girl and introduces her and her friends to your group. It’s obvious that the girl your friend originally started talking to likes you, but it’s your friend’s “set”. Here, instead of being a shithouse and swooping in on the girl behind your mate’s back, you need to ask him if it’s okay to do so. After all, he put in the effort to get her attention. Even if he can’t get anywhere, even if he’s insistent on trying it on with her and you can see all the signs that he’ll fail, she is off limits. Unless you get his approval, you can’t do a thing. Suck it up and move on.

Another example is this: your friend dated a girl for a while and things ended for whatever reason. You always liked her and your friend has now moved on. He built a connection with that girl you like, and she should be off limits to you. However, you think it’s been a while since he and her had that thing together and want to try your luck. Don’t go messaging her and hitting on her blindly. That makes you a cunt. Ask him if he’s cool with you hitting on her. If he’s fine with it, go ahead. If he’s not, suck it up and move on. How would you feel if it was the other way round?

It reeks of scarcity mentality having to weasel in on a girl that your friend has been with. It reminds me of when you see a guy in a bar or club lingering around a girl just because she’s said hi. That guy doesn’t want to make the effort to hit on another girl, so he hangs around and tries for the “easy” way in.

Communication isn’t hard. If you find yourself swooping in on your mates’ girls behind their backs, then you need to reassess your approach and the value that you bring to a friendship. A lot can be answered for in life by simply asking yourself how you’d feel in the reverse situation (i.e. would you like it to happen to you?).

And if your friends are trying it on with your girls, then you need to cut your mates loose.

Getting girls attracted to you is actually very simple. Generally and naturally, girls react on an urge or a whim based on the present circumstance. Some might call this a “pussy tingle” in which their vagina leads to them act in a certain manner or get on board with an idea at the time, with no thought about future consequences or what the situation will lead to.

I’m sure many of you guys who are reading this have some experience in getting girls attracted to you. Attraction is something that happens with a short term display of confidence, bravado or being good looking. Whatever works for you, works for you. They all come with the same result.

However, attraction doesn’t mean that you’re going to land the girl in bed or get her to come on a date with you. There are certain other elements that come into play that will make a girl like you enough to follow up on the attraction.

As guys, we have an ideal girl in our heads about what we’d love to settle down with. Whether you’re looking to have sex with lots of girls and only aim for a certain quality, or you’d like a girlfriend that has a certain look about her, then you have an ideal. Other girls you may be attracted to in some way or another, but she doesn’t have enough to pull you into opening her or asking her out (except for you spam-crazy PUAs on Oxford Street).

It’s no different for girls too. As much as people make fun of girls on this side of the internet for wanting the knight in shining armour, there is a certain guy that a girl will just completely fall for without any effort on his part. Broad shoulders? Chiseled jaw? Tall? Short? Something about you will make a certain girl illogically and irrationally fall for you based on your looks.

For me, I love big breasts. I love toned legs and I love those “cat eyes” that some girls have. The cat eyes are enough, but big breasts can send me gaga. I’m a sucker for them, much in the way large biceps might send a girl into a frenzy.

The cat eyes of a previous conquest

That certain type is enough for me to be attracted to a girl, and like her enough to approach her and say hi.

Whether she likes me back is a completely different thing. I can certainly ensure that she gets attracted to me with a series of different factors such as telling her about my life, displaying my natural confidence and charisma, and complimenting her to the point her knees begin to give way.

I could have the best conversation of my life with that girl, get her number, and walk away feeling as though something great is going to happen with her, only to have her not reply to my message. What was it? Maybe the clothes I was wearing? Maybe I was too tall or not tall enough? Or maybe I wasn’t the right age.

In my opinion, it all goes back to ideals, and it certainly helps when I get rejected by a girl to think that something just quite didn’t click with her – in the same way I’ve spoken to a girl and not bothered sending her a message after getting her number.

A couple of months ago I had a conversation with a hot girl that I used to work with. She’s now a model and she confessed that she used to really like me when I was working with her, but I wasn’t at the right age (despite being 2 years older than her). It came as a surprise to me as I wasn’t particularly in good shape and I didn’t have much going for me back then (going on nearly 4 years ago), but it didn’t go anywhere because of my age.

Now, back in June, Jimmy was talking to a girl that he was having a really good conversation with. He told me that he didn’t feel as though it was going anywhere, despite her attraction to him, but as soon as he mentioned that he was in his mid-30s, “her eyes lit up like a firework display on Chinese New Year”.

The display of confidence worked to attract her, but without him telling her his age, she most likely wouldn’t have replied to his message after he got her number. It’s a simple thing like that, that won’t make a good chat with a girl into something more.

I’ve had girls tell me before that they would fuck me all night if they were single. One particular case was documented here but her boyfriend earns loads of money, almost 5 times what I was earning back then and I had a good salary, and it just wasn’t enough for her to do anything with me. She couldn’t justify trading the moneymaker for the guy that had her wet in her pants all night.

Had I earned more money than him? Well, I’m sure it would’ve been a different story. Had I been older when the model liked me? I’m sure I would’ve dated her.

The thing is, you can’t beat yourself up when a girl rejects you. They won’t ever tell you the real reason they have because they’re shithouses and will just not reply, but sometimes attraction just isn’t enough. Some girls can have their switches flicked really very easily, but they may only date white guys or they may only date black guys. It differs from person to person.

The best thing you can do is maximise your sexual market value by improving your life and making it easier for girls to like you, whether you’re looking for a quick fuck or you’d like a girlfriend. Alternatively, you can join the monkeys on Oxford Street that will just approach hundreds of girls. It’s up to you!