Friendship Groups Work In Films But Not In Reality

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was released in theaters today, and this time around the women have been apart all year, but their summer plans will keep them separated. According to the film’s website, “Now it will take more than a hurried note…or even a treasured pair of pants passed back and forth among them to keep their lives connected.” But this got me thinking…Do friendship groups like The Sisterhood and Sex and the City, in which all the friends get along and are connected equally, exist in reality? In my experience, the answer is a resounding, “No.”I’ve never been the sort of girl who enjoys being in a group, so most of my friendships are based on one-on-one relationships. A few years ago, my BFF Nicole decided to take me clubbing for my birthday. Now, it’s pretty sad to go to the club for a birthday celebration with only two people, one of whom is the birthday girl, so she invited two of her friends (my acquaintances) along. Let’s call them Tania and Yvette. We had so much fun dancing for hours, and we all started hanging together on the weekends.

I started putting my fears of friendship groups to rest, but I always wondered whether our little group could exist without Nicole. So in order to forge a deeper bond with Yvette and Tania, I started attending events with them even if Nicole wasn’t going to be there. And after a weekend getaway with all “my girls” last summer, I finally started to feel connected to each one individually.

But then disaster struck. We and some others went to a club for Yvette’s birthday. Before Nicole and I left the house we had a nagging feeling that things wouldn’t go well. And they didn’t. The night was a total fiasco, to say the least. Yvette drank too much, passed out and had trouble breathing. And I got into a fight with her younger, immature cousin. We never came to blows, but there was serious neck-rolling and name-calling on the streets of Manhattan.

I took a break from the group after that night, but I continued to chill with Nicole. We all needed respite from each other. We came back together when Nicole had a crisis earlier this year, but we haven’t hung out like we did before. Then, Nicole moved out of state and the friendship group totally dissolved. I’ve made contact with both Yvette and Tania, but nothing has come out of that. I learned that they continue to get together occasionally, but haven’t invited me along. I’m not too sure I’d go anyway because things could be weird.

I learned a great deal through this experience. First, friend groups don’t work unless there is a dominant friend who is connected to everyone and works at keeping the group together. Two, nothing beats a one-on-one friendship with someone you’ve known since you were four. And lastly, I’m too damn old to be up in da club. What do you ladies think? Was this an isolated case or are friendship groups doomed from the beginning?

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