Not to sound jealous, but if my high school senior picture looked as good as this jailbird, well, not nearly as many girls would have moved to the other side of the hall when I came by.

All right. I am being jealous. But at least I’ve lived my drab-looks life on the right side of the law.

Not so Meeks, a chronic troublemaker.

Back in 2005, he was living right here in our Lilac Wonderland.

In April of that year, Meeks was nabbed by security officers when he supposedly shoplifted a package of pellets from The General Store.

A Spokane County affidavit posted on the news website The Smoking Gun revealed that the officers pepper-sprayed Meeks after he repeatedly vowed to “(BLEEP) you all up.”

What?

And the guy’s a poet, too?

Some guys have all the luck.

According to the document, Meeks identified himself at first as his older brother, Emery.

There was probably a good reason for that, speculated The Smoking Gun, since Jeremy “was already on parole from a prior grand larceny conviction in California (for which he was sentenced to two years in state prison).”

Spokesman-Review records show that in 2007, Meeks served 71 days in the Spokane County Jail after pleading guilty to a misdemeanor forgery charge.

This will blow over as soon as the next Internet hiccup of the moment takes place.

In the meantime, I think Spokane owes some thanks to Dreamy McMug Shot. He is so much easier on the eyes than the last time the Internet linked us to a lowlife’s booking pose.

Does the name Brandon “The Felon” Mellon ring a bell?

You know, the smirking suspected killer who caused an online storm last January because the word “S-P-O-K-A-N-E” was tattooed across his dome of a forehead?

I’ll take a hunky hoodlum over that creep any old day.

Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or dougc@spokesman.com.