Mobile Friendly

Mrs. Vanquish to the TwiBlogger Rescue!

Twitarded's Fan Box

Facebook Badge

Search This Blog

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Glossary of Robert Pattinson

I'll admit it: we really have no clue how we're supposed to follow up the OPattz photo shoot extravaganza... Jenny Jerkface and I got on the phone earlier and we were both experiencing a severe case of TwiBloggy writer's block over the whole thing.

JJ had actually already started a post called "Can't Top This" -

I'm sitting here trying to think of something witty to say and... nothing. I mean, all I can think about is OPattz and those ridiculous pictures and I suddenly feel like I have performance anxiety.

I can't top that shizz. I don't have game.

And I totally get it... For better or for worse, we're almost always on the same page when it comes to stuff like this! But then I remembered that back before my memory was erased by some of the hottest pics of Robert Pattinson to ever be [temporarily] splashed across the blogosphere, I had come across a spiffy Twilight blog called RobMusement. It's funny, dirty, and there's a lot of cursing. Naturally, we felt right at home! While checking it out, I made my way to their "Rob Glossary." And it's hysterical. I know some of you have already seen this, but when I find something this clever that someone obviously put a lot of time and effort into creating, I can't help but spread the word!

Here are a few choice entries; you can check the entire thing out HERE (and I highly recommend that you take a look around while you're there!) -

Glossary of Rob by RobMusement

Amen-A word used to relay that we are all agree on a specific aspect of Rob, such as, “May a belt never find its way into Mr. Pattinson’s wardrobe. Amen & Amen.

Beardward-pictures from a Twilight photoshoot for the Times.

Beardward (aka "Scruffy Rob") is one of JJ's fave Robward looks...

Buttonfly- What I wouldn’t give to be able to rip those buttons off and get to the wonderful Pattinson present that is behind those brass buttons….Amen! Vid made be RobsButtonsBabe.

Den of Sin-refers to Rob’s autograph, “You are welcome in my den of sin.”

Rawr! I'll meet you in your den of sin any day!

Lips- The gates to heaven.

...can't...breath...dazzled...

Nikes-An American shoe company that makes athletic wear that includes shoes, shirts, shorts, etc. Their logo is a checkmark and their motto is “JUST DO IT.” Yes Rob, just do me…I mean it. No, no, I definitely mean me.

Oral fixation-used to explain the glazed over look in a woman’s eyes when Rob puts anything in his mouth.

Mmmm... Nail-biting has never looked this hot...

Go check out the rest!

Hopefully JJ and I will score some Twiblogger Viagra and we'll get over the [gulp] limp-dick performance issue thing we both seem to have going on at the moment! Could someone please just tell us that it's fine, and it happens to everyone??? No??? Dammit.

Thnk you so much for your kindnes. I'm glad you feel at home in my "park" as I feel quite at home here as well. P.S. I find that 1/2 a bottle of vodka and some dirty Robporn will cure all that ails you. I personally like the Happy Vodka, no false advertisment there. After 2 glasses I couldn't fucking be any happier. And after 3 glasses you don't really give a shit if anyone thinks you're witty or not. Stop at three though, trust me on this...just trust me!

When you outdo yourself like you did with OPattz, it's like after a major milestone. It's disappointing - the event you've worked so hard for is over. Besides, how the hell do you top OPattz??! Take a teeny tiny break, read some Robsmut aka fanfic, read the entire glossary at RobMusement (see "sex boots", the replacements for the "shiteous Nikes"). Besides, we're all bummed about those friggin' photos being taken away from us. Shiteous, just shiteous. Need a good laugh? Read some stuff in the Urban Dictionary. Some of RobMusements best words haven't made it there yet ("fuckhawt") though.

Stuck? Well JJ, I suggest re-reading parts of the wonderfully smutty "The Office" and "Clipped Wings and Armored Ink"fanfic that you shared links to... HOLY HELL! I'm glad the hubs was gone for the weekend so I could read them by myself--only to jump him when he finally got home! Once again..HOLY HELL!

Aww. @Itsjustme I like what you like girlfriend! But for the life of me and I know you will all kill me for saying this. *Ok, take a deep breath* The beardward photo looks like Alan from The Hangover. Shit, kinda. Ok, sorry. Maybe a skinny version? *laughing at my own comment* Fine! I amuse myself.

Heya Chickies!Saw this today at the supermarket. Cashing in on the popularity amongst 30-something women?http://s255.photobucket.com/albums/hh131/ncarey/?action=view&current=IMG00195-20090909-1351.jpgVerification word - expopho. Relating to a Grandfather's Ex Girlfriend?

I just stumbled upon that glossary of terms yesterday and was thinking it would be fun to share --bravo for bringing it to the blog. I'm really glad to have clarification of the different levels of hotness hot-hawt-fuckhawt... I want to be accurate with my expletives.

Jenny--I never had much of a thing for beards in real life...now I'm kinda trying to talk my hubby into going a few days without shaving for that yummy scruffy look. :D

I personally don't think you have to sing and dance for our amusement 24/7. I've noticed we can successfully amuse ourselves given the right incentive. Until the Twiblog-viagra kicks in, I think it's perfectly acceptable to link up a video or two (there's only about a gazillion to choose from), throw out some heineously provocative statement, and then........GO! I'll never forget those great captions your dear readers came up with for that creepy wolfy baby on the stairs pic.

Thank you for running this blog which I consider my home away from home.

I think beards are sexy if done right, I think beardward works, I think there should be at least some vampires with beards, I've pondered the whole vampire hair issue, and had some ideas, but, would love a chance to talk with SM about "how it works"

And yes, the OPattz phenomenon was fabulous and really backed you into a corner. You're great though, you'll blog your little hearts out and crack us up, and then do a follow up OPattz photo shoot ... :D

Ooh, I need to check out that full glossary. And I feel your pain girls. I'm in a black hole of what the fuck to write about these days.

Just for the record - my ideal Rob = the beard of course, those fucking buttonfly jeans that I want to rip from him body, the black v-neck t-shirt {{pantpant}}, that oh so redneck-ish, yet sexy on him black/gray checked shirt, and oh yes, the Docs.... ok, maybe just him in the Docs would be sufficient.

Could someone please find me a picture exactly as I've described (fully clothed or naked just wearing the Docs) so that I may use it for my fan fiction fantasies?? Why am I such a slut??!

@Narelle from Aus - too funny! and YES, i absolutely think that companies are trying to get to the household-running, detergent-buying TwiFans - I've seen the name "Twilight" slapped on all sorts of stuff! I mean, since when did "Twilight" denote a certain fragrance??? Thanks for sharing!

I love oral fixation Rob but I'll admin that I am not the hugest Beardward fan (although I have to admit all that fuzz has definitely grown on me over the months...).

Well, not sure this will make your stage fright better or worse... but though I loved OPattz - I didn't laugh nearly as hard as I have for some of your other entries. I know you girls still have more snark and laughter to spread to your adoring fans:)

Ladies, yesterday was hard to beat, but I have faith. You are the funniest things out there. My DH even laughs at your stuff. He is so patient with my obsession, I just have to appreciate him more often. ;-))) Especially after viewing the oral fixation pics.

I'm so glad I downloaded one of the forbidden images for my BlackBerry wallpaper before they were pulled. *sigh*

Mmmm, oral fixation....*wipes drool off keyboard* How likely is it that he'll be filming something in Dublin in the near future? Ready, set, stalking! Then again, I'd probably just end up humping his leg or something, so maybe I shouldn't hope for that.

Don't worry about the dry spell, it happens. The net has plenty of Twiporn to keep us horny Twitards amused while you take it easy. ;P

@BoxergirlSydney: You're not alone, I'm not overly fond of the beard either. If a guy has a beard it has to be one of those hot little trimmed ones like Caleb Followill has at the moment.

if you missed the whole photo pull debacle and don't know what inspired the OPattz shoot, there's a post about a video over at Twicrack addict, video courtesy of jjane64 it looks like, may not be there for long...

Alright ladies, this link might spark some witty chatter from you two pole cats. First there was the vampsicle, now there is the adult movie spoof of Twilight. The tag line is 'when you can f___ forever, you can f___ everybody'.

STY - I got the strangest look from the lady selecting her laundry powder when taking the photo. So I just shrugged at her and said, "Long story". She replied, "My kids have read the book." Noticing she was early 40's I suggested, "You should try them". Oh Gad, I'm telling complete strangers to read Twilight.

Oh puh-lease! You ladies will be just fine! You have amused us endlessly & I have no doubt, will continue to do so. You could make reading the telephone book funny! Just post whatever, don't worry about matching up to the Oward phenomenon. We will all still come here, read, laugh, hork liquid out of our noses & other such insanities! We love you both & we will never be disappointed in you. It all came together from start to finish as one of those once in a lifetime moments, that led to monumental hilarity & complete genius on both your parts! Perhaps we do owe fuck-face Segal a thank you, as without his pettiness over the best RPattz photos we've ever seen, this would never have come to pass. Maybe someday we will be able to publicly feast our eyes on the fuckhawtness again. Until then, we will treasure our contraband on our harddrives...I am off now to read the rest of that hilarious list. Take care, ladies. You still rock this TwiUniverse we all live in!

@Twinatic - nice picture! So..what?, we just shout out something we want and then you deliver? Um.. I would like...oh nevermind. :D

Actually, if anyone had the contraband and just happened to post it into the comments, is that breaking the rules? Is that even possible? Oh well. My excuse for watching the youtube video 45 times a day is that it might get pulled at any minute.

W/V: poevigoi--the word verification master must be drunk. This one doesn't make any sense to me.

Writers block is basically a cock block by the blog gods. They see you doing fucking awesome and stick their giant cocks in the way, hoping to slip it in the hole you just got all slippery wet with anticipation of penetration. Is it just me or was that like a really sick version of Jesse Jackson - I mean that was even bad for me.

Oh puh-lease! You ladies will be just fine! You have amused us endlessly & I have no doubt, will continue to do so. You could make reading the telephone book funny! Just post whatever, don't worry about matching up to the Oward phenomenon. We will all still come here, read, laugh, hork liquid out of our noses & other such insanities! We love you both & we will never be disappointed in you. It all came together from start to finish as one of those once in a lifetime moments, that led to monumental hilarity & complete genius on both your parts! Perhaps we do owe fuck-face Segal a thank you, as without his pettiness over the best RPattz photos we've ever seen, this would never have come to pass. Maybe someday we will be able to publicly feast our eyes on the fuckhawtness again. Until then, we will treasure our contraband on our harddrives...I am off now to read the rest of that hilarious list. Take care, ladies. You still rock this TwiUniverse we all live in!

Obsessed with Twilight? Think you're too old for this? You've come to the right place!

We are a bunch of over-thirty *cough*andforty*cough* chicks who never really meant to fall in love with Twilight... but somehow we did. Hard. Inexplicably, we've still got a lot to say about it. And other stuff. Join us!