Scared stiff!!! Please help...

Aug 25, 2006

First of all thanks Dr. Bob... You are so kind to give of yourself like this... and you handled the church lady very well...

I'm scared out of my mind and havent been able to make myself go for a test... I'm a bi male... I had a full std screen including HIV in 07/2004. I got tested because of some very bad behavior since my divorce... I was with many partners both male and female with no protection at all... thankfully It was negative across the board... now 2 years later those same old fears have returned... When I had my test in 07/2004 It was more than 90 days from my last potential exposure... since then I have had 2 very brief acts with men... 2 acts of receptive oral sex at a glory hole...Obviously I dont know anything about them... Neither ejaculated in my mouth... I have had 3 acts with women... all three were unprotected oral(me giving) and unprotected intercourse... all these acts are more than 5 months ago...

In june I was treated for ear infections(swimmers ear) It was mainly due to a massive was build up(yuk). it was difficult to shake and since then I've had pains in my face and neck... Mainly in front and below my ears... I really cant feel anything swollen but there maybe... My doctor didn't seem to worried about it but couldnt give me an explaination either...

I've gone by a testing office 3 times and just sat there in my car for over an hour... I don't know how I would handle a positive test... I guess I'm looking for some positive feed back that I sould expect a negative result...

I have a donation on the way to support your efforts...

Thanks for any input you can offer...

Mark

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Mark,

As for "handling" Church Lady very well," no matter what that old maid may be saying now, I never touched her! Really! I didn't. It's just another one of her fantasies resulting form her sex-starved existence as a Bible thumping... What? Oh, that's not what you meant? Oh, OK, never mind.

Mark, why are you so nervous about getting retested? Since your negative test in 7/2004, you've probably had less exposure than Church Lady two very brief oral receptive episodes without ejaculation and three unprotected bouts of cunnilingus and vaginal sex. Sure, since the vaginal sex was unprotected, HIV testing is warranted, but your level of anxiety and fear of testing positive is way out of proportion to any real risk. The estimated per-act risk for acquiring HIV from unprotected insertive penile-vaginal sex is 5 per 10,000 exposures.

Now stop all this nonsense about sitting in the car at the testing office hour after hour and just go in and get it done! A rapid test will give you an accurate result in just 20 minutes. All the statistical odds indicate you'll be WOO-HOO-ing rather than BOO-HOO-ing on your way home.

Finally, you've been through this enough times now to never ever put yourself at risk again. Have all the sex you want on either side of the proverbial fence; just do it safely, OK?

Thanks for your donation (www.concertedeffort.org). I'll send my good-luck karma in return that your HIV test is indeed negative, as I strongly suspect it will be.

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