I will leave the real mock drafting to The Vertical’s Jonathan Givony. This is mock mock drafting, and it is an entirely non-serious look at the NBA draft in which I ranked potential lottery picks by the weirdest known facts about them. From gummy bear addictions to a love for “Edward Scissorhands,” here goes.

“I’ll be in my room watching film,” he told the Courier-Journal. “I don’t know if you have that feeling where you see something and you want it in your hand? But it’s definitely a tough thing.”

Again, that is a quote about gummy bears. There’s also this from the same story: “In trimming 18 pounds from his freshman physique, the newly svelte 195-pound Mitchell has reduced his pizza intake from almost daily to special occasions. He is eating less and more prudently, chewing longer, scaling back on chicken fingers and sweet potatoes and filling up on water.”

• Favorite movies: “The Lego Movie,” “iRobot,” “Up,” “Spirited Away” and “(My Neighbor) Totoro”. • Favorite basketball player of all time: Dwight Howard when he played for the Orlando Magic. • Last book read for pleasure: “Metro 2033” by Dmitry Glukhovsky.

“When he played for the Orlando Magic” is an incredible clarifier when naming Dwight Howard as your favorite basketball player. And anybody who lists a Russian post-apocalyptic science fiction novel as the last book they’ve read and lists “iRobot” and four cartoons, including two Japanese anime films, as their favorite movies of all-time is really just somebody you want telling stories in the locker room.

(Also, on Ball’s USA Basketball bio, he lists Bernie Pischon as the most impressive person he’s ever met, “because he’s so successful.” Who is Bernie Pischon? In an internet search of his name, only one item comes up: Ball’s USA Basketball bio. I sincerely hope he meant to say Bronson Pinchot.)

He once delivered a college speech on “Edward Scissorhands” and later told The Players’ Tribune, “The thing about Edward Scissorhands is that it sneaks up on you. It’s set up like an average romance movie, but it’s not your average romance. You get the whole variety of human emotions. It’s not just a girl and a guy who fall in love, it’s a Beauty and the Beast type of thing, where the characters are forced to look beyond just appearances and look inside themselves.” He’s the Gene Siskel of this draft.

His favorite food is St. Louis-style pizza, which, as defined by Wikipedia, has “a very thin cracker like crust made without yeast, the common (but not universal) use of Provel processed cheese, and pizzas cut into squares or rectangles instead of wedges.” So, it’s more cheese and crackers than pizza.

Jayson Tatum says his No. 1 pick in the food draft would be St. Louis-style pizza. Never knew that was even a thing.

His NBA goal off the court is to “get more sleep,” his favorite movie is “Step Brothers,” favorite food is macaroni and cheese and favorite TV show is “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” and the most impressive person he’s ever met is Penny Hardaway, because he’s a “smooth individual,” so he’s your best friend.

9. T.J. Leaf, UCLA freshman power forward

He has a dog named Rusty, cats named Misty and Toby, loves the song “If I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars, he wears No. 22 because he likes Rudy Gay, and three of his favorite things involve fishing …

• Favorite non-sports magazine: Sport Fishing. • Away from the court, enjoys: fishing and hanging out with friends. • Most people don’t know: he is really good at fishing.

Collins might be the first-ever Vine star to be drafted in the lottery. His feed was very good. #RIPVine

11. Justin Patton, Creighton redshirt freshman center

According to his college bio, his nickname is Big Muddy, his favorite song is Sam Hunt’s country bro-country anthem “House Party,” his favorite book is American classic “The Great Gatsby,” his favorite movie is American classic and Kevin Hart/Ice Cube vehicle “Ride Along,” and his dream date is Nia Long, otherwise known as Will Smith’s girlfriend on “Fresh Prince of Bel Air,” all of which seems extremely random and awesome and just might make Patton the most eclectic player in the draft.

12. De’Aaron Fox, Kentucky freshman point guard

His nickname is “Swipa,” as in the extremely annoying Swiper the Fox from “Dora the Explorer.” Also:

Wait. DeAaron Fox's dad's name is Aaron? So he named his son "from the Aaron"? That. Is. AWESOME

One of his closest friends at Indiana, teammate Troy Williams, told The Indianapolis Star, “It’s one of the first things I learned about OG when he got here. The man is weird.” And then didn’t qualify it at all, which is sort of terrifying. Also, he’s British, his name is OG, and his brother Chigbo is a 6-foot-4, 324-pound defensive lineman in the NFL. None of those things is that weird. Those are just cool facts.

His name is John Collins. Seriously, I could not find even a single mildly interesting factoid about John Collins, outside of the fact he enjoys “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” GIFs, which makes him A-OK in my book.