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Running for men can provide the kind of challenge and competition that helps us, naturally, to thrive. It certainly does for me, although this does also come with some lighthearted humiliation.

The photographer who took the photo below said, as we passed, “This should be a good contest” —or something to that effect because it’s hard to remember what is said to you when you’re running out of oxygen 😃 He was joking at my expense, of course, watching an older gentleman (that’s me, with the emphasis on “gentleman”) racing against a young teen-aged girl.

face obscured to protect the young, even though no one was protecting me at the time 😃

While pictures do contain a thousand words, even so, they can easily obscure the context and not tell the whole story.

What the photo to the right doesn’t tell you is this ratbag of a teenager drafted me for the whole 5km race!

I passed her, her sister and brother, after about 500m. She then pulled in behind me, breathing down my neck, exactly like you see in the picture, almost the whole way. She fell behind at a couple of points, and I thought I had shaken her off, but no luck. She pipped me at the finish line by a step. Dammit!

What makes this ‘humiliation’ even worse is her younger brother did the same thing to me in a previous race. What’s wrong with young people these days? No respect for their elders!

Actually, while this sounds like I’m here ranting about the youth, in actual fact I’ve got a big smile on my face as I write this. It was a really good contest and a satisfying race! If she had not been chasing me and putting the pressure on, I certainly would not have run as fast. For her, she ended up achieving a PB, besting her previous record from 7 months ago. Well done!

Manhood Is Not Natural

The whole experience reminds me of how manhood works. Author Glenn Stanton once wrote how masculinity is learned:

Womanhood is a natural phenomenon […] The opposite is true of manhood […] Maleness just happens, but manhood does not. The first is a biological event, while the second is a developed character quality […] Manhood must be crafted and refined in order to orient males in pro-social, communitarian directions. In fact, this is the first work of every civilisation.

In the presence of others, boys learn to be men and their transition into manhood is confirmed by the group in which they find themselves. Without the training and confirmation, both intentional and non-verbal, boys flounder and misbehave, without direction or boundaries. This is not good for anyone!

Running for men provides a natural environment in which men can both teach and support each other in an activity of personal development. For instance, my son joins me on Saturdays. He is not particularly happy I’m faster than he but I can teach him all he needs to know to eventually beat me, which is completely inevitable.

Men Challenge and Compete

Similarly, author Jack Donovan described how men compete within a group for position and prestige, but cooperate in the face of threats from other groups.

A man is not merely a man but a man among men, in a world of men. Being good at being a man has more to do with a man’s ability to succeed with men and within groups of men than it does with a man’s relationship to any woman or any group of women. When someone tells a man to be a man, they are telling him to be more like other men, more like the majority of men, and ideally more like the men whom other men hold in high regard.

While my running club, the Western District Joggers & Harriers, is not a gang of men exclusively, this 5km race reminded me of those processes. For instance, my young racer pegged me as someone to chase, who would ‘pull her along’ and provide an impetus to run faster than she would without an observable target. Her goal, as is the goal of all runners, is to run faster and stronger each time, but this goal is somewhat abstract. Identifying and marking someone who looks to be running the pace you would like to run is a strategy we all adopt. And a good strategy at that!

With her breathing down my neck, this young whipper-snapper was challenging me and there was no way I was going to let her get by me without a fight. We’re in the same club, so this was competition within our group. She challenged me to be better and I did my level best to do my best. Now, she beat me in the end, rather spectacularly, but I am grateful for her pushing me.

Pushing and pulling. Challenge and competition. Men push and pull each other, challenge and compete, and we are better for it.

Running for Men

“You were beat by a girl”, you are probably thinking, “how is this an illustration of manhood?”

I can’t speak for other clubs, but for the Western District Joggers & Harriers, we are all walking and running for the love and fitness of it. We are all marking and chasing each other —some are more willing to admit it than others. In the end though, we all celebrate we are out there doing our best and especially celebrate when someone does their best.

IMHO, running for men provides this kind of challenge and competition, and we need this especially. It is built into our bones! Running for men is a natural activity in which to find such challenge and competition.

What do you do to challenge yourself to bring out your best? Who is helping you and from whom are you learning? Who is your competition? Are you growing at their expense or is the competition mutual? Post your comments below.

Men interact with others at home, school, work, and in the teams and clubs we participate in. It can be quite satisfying to be offered a leadership role in these spheres. You have been dreaming of the moment, haven’t you? Sometimes our dreams and visions do not go as planned. And who is to blame?

Being a leader, when we discover we are to blame because we have lost alignment with our beliefs and values, how might we recover from these mistakes and get back on track?

Being a Leader after Mistakes

Michael Hyatt, is an author, blogger, speaker, and the former chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. I have always found his posts on leadership and productivity to be encouraging and inspiring.

I wish I had access to this list before beginning my first stint as a Senior Minister of a church. At the time, I felt as if my leadership team treated me like a Student Minister. I came to the conclusion they had little respect for me. This was my first time with such a responsibility after all and maybe I couldn’t be trusted. This lack of confidence in myself turned outward and my leadership stumbled at many points. A pretty clear case of “Majoring in Minor Things”, don’t you reckon?

The thing is, I lost sight of what I ‘brought to the table’. I had every reason to be confident in my leadership capacity. I had the skills, education, and experience required to step up from the associate roles I had fulfilled until then. The leadership team at this church obviously agreed and hired me. I had every reason to be confident enough in being a leader but I let this mistake in my personal and leadership development interfere.

Trouble of Our Own Making

Even being a leader, we can often find ourselves in the midst of trouble of our own making. It’s easy to miss, and hard to admit, when such trouble is no one’s fault but our own. The log in one’s own eye is harder to see than the speck in someone else’s. How can we get back on track and recover from our mistakes in leadership?

How can a young man keep his way pure?By keeping your word.

(Psalm 119:9)

The writer of these words is here alluding to the sort of situation where our ‘train has come off the rails’. The case may be we have lost sight of our beliefs and values. Or we have deviated from the path we have set for ourselves. The steps we committed to take have not yielded the results we expected. In either case, more likely than not, the experience is akin to ‘every thing’s gone to shit’. We are left wondering what now to do and how now to get ourselves out.

For the friends of Jesus, the encouragement of Psalm 119 is clear: Get back on track by realigning yourself onto the track of God’s ways, as revealed in his word and will. In the Bible we find the commands of God and the inspiration for The Good Life. This way has been tried by many others before us and proven true. When you find yourself in a bad situation, yes, you cannot avoid the consequences of your mistakes. But, having gone the wrong way —even in being a leader— the only way to sort it out is to get back on track and going God’s way.

Judgement Mistakes Made Easy

When finally given an opportunity at being a leader, you may have been dreaming of that moment for years. You have a vision and know how to achieve that vision, if only those around you will listen and follow your lead. Your intention may have been to serve the company, your co-workers, and your customers. With promotion comes great responsibility and the weight of that responsibility can cloud your judgement. This easily creates the conditions for the mistakes Michael Hyatt identified.

Pride and Arrogance are the quickest to arise. Negative Influences will sidle close to you, for you are the one with power now. When weaknesses become evident in your plans and policies, Avoiding, Spin Doctoring, and Short-Cutting are easy escapes. The potential mistakes are plentiful and happen to the best among us.

Get Back on Track with Spiritual Disciplines

These mistakes arise because we are relying on our own capacity to judge correctly. For the friend of Jesus, we have other resources at our disposal.

The Bible contains the commands of God. Therefore, the spiritual discipline of Study provides the beliefs and values from which we gain our direction.

The stories of Jesus provide the example for how a good leader conducts himself. Simplicity, for instance, brings us into alignment with his example.

Prayer, Meditation, and Solitude are spiritual disciplines which bring us into contact with the Holy Spirit. From him we gain peace and provision of the personal and spiritual resources necessary for the task to which we have applied ourselves (see Dt 12:1, 7).

Obviously, keeping our way pure in the first place is what we all want to do, even when being a leader. When and if your life spins out of control, step back and assess the situation. Honestly consider what is your role is this quagmire. Get everything back on track by returning to the ways of God, found in his word.

I have written also about the need to practise perseverance. This trait also relates to personal and leadership development. You may find that post useful as well.

Do you practice any spiritual disciplines and how have they helped you recover from a difficult situation?

A fear of heights is quite reasonable; so is a fear of spiders and snakes. However, while protective, some fear can be quite debilitating. Being able to put these fears in a proper perspective is a good skill. Reduce fear knowing someone has your back!

You might be impressed by my sky-diving experience depicted in the photo below but don’t be fooled. I was terrified and my whole body was reacting with great vengeance and furious anger. While my instructor was on my back I wasn’t sure if he had my back!

It turns out I am much more fearful of heights than my experiences would suggest.

We All Have Fears

The truth of my fear of heights will be joyfully recounted by my family. The story they will tell you is of when we were enjoying a day at a local water park. While I was more than willing to participate in the extreme attractions, my fear of heights was finally revealed at 5m.

The Jamberoo water park has a deep water pool below three launching pads above, simulating jumping off a cliff. The highest you can jump into the water below is 5m. I managed the 1m and 3m but, when I got to the taller height of the three, I couldn’t do it. I tried a number of times but could not bring myself to jump.

“Why? What was going through your head?” you might wonder. I was thinking, “What do I have to prove, really?” I have sky-dived, walked to the top of the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty. I can manage tiny planes over a vast ocean and high rope bridges. I simply do not enjoy jumping off heights like this —I never have— and certainly don’t need to prove my courage to anyone.

My family, however, disagree, and rib me mercilessly when the story comes up.

How to Reduce Fear

A fear of heights is quite reasonable. So is a fear of spiders and snakes. In these cases, fear is an instinctual and protective mechanism of our bodies and emotions. Fear is good therefore. However, some fear, while protective, can be quite debilitating. Being able to put these fears in a proper perspective can alleviate the fear and build us up. How to reduce fear is an important question.

I called to the LORD in distress;the LORD answered meand put me in a spacious place.The LORD is for me; I will not be afraid.What can a mere mortal do to me?The LORD is my helper,Therefore, I will look in triumph on those who hate me.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humanity.It is better to take refuge in the LORDthan to trust in nobles.

These verses describe fear in the face of opposition. The“mere mortals” might be enemies or just interlopers. The poet does not make identifying them a priority. In the face of such aggression, how did he reduce fear? How did he put his fear into a proper perspective?

These verses are taken from The Book of Psalms so were written for a congregation gathered for worship. Thus they are words meant to lead the people into an insight from or an experience of God.

The poet has described being in distress —a tight spot, in other words— yet, because he called out to the Lord being his helper, he felt as if he had been delivered into a spacious place. Through this experience he discovered the Lord was his helper. Having discovered the Lord is on his side, he moved from fear into a sense of triumph in the face of enemies. He learnt to trust the Lord rather than rely on other humans.

Of course, fear is protective. So, when we face enemies of any kind —at work, on the street, on the playground, wherever— fear is good initially. When the adrenaline starts coursing through our veins, however, fear can lead to panic or violence. What we really need is a way to calm down, assess the situation realistically, and reduce fear.

When you are facing a fight, isn’t it good to know that someone has your back? For the friend of Jesus, who has learnt to trust God and to find security in faith, someone always has your back. When you remain in that place of faith and trust and obedience, you can take comfort in and courage from knowing that God is always with you. You have nothing to fear … although this is not a reckless confidence. It is a certainty in who you are and who is with you; that you will prevail in the face of obstacles and opposition.

And that’s a good feeling indeed!

You Will Always Have Fear

My fear of heights will never go away and my stomach will always get tied up in knots at the top of the first rise on a roller-coaster. And I certainly won’t ever sky-dive again. Didn’t I tell you fear is always protective!

The following photo was presented recently to a class I am enrolled in. It is of a tree, once cut down, now bursting crazily with life.

Planted beside a pond, I could not help but think this replenished tree puts the disappointments, dangers, and disasters of life into a whole new perspective. When we feel cut down, what might we do to recover? Where are the promised flowing streams to replenish our life?

When I Needed to Replenish My Life

Being a Christian minister, you might be surprised to learn I once found myself unemployed due to retrenchment (“being laid off” is the expression in North America). The following 8 months were some of the worst of my life.

I took up an Associate Minister position alongside a man I respected greatly.Knowing he had the potential to be a great mentor for me, he nonetheless retired about 2 years in.

An Interim Minister was called in. A nice enough guy. Until, that is, a new Senior Minister was chosen. This man was not interested in me at all; he didn’t bother even trying to get to know me and how I could contribute to his team.

The word came in from the Selection Committee: The Ministry Team would be cleared out in advance so the new minister could choose his own team. We were all politely invited to find our own way out of there. For about 3 months the IM would come into my office weekly and ask if I had found a new job yet. Giving up on me, the church offered a severance package and I was put out.

I had an idea for a side-hustle business I could develop but my heart was in church leadership. As repeated interviews turned up no offers, my despair increased. Many times, my family and friends innocently asked, “Why don’t you find something else to do?” While their intention was to be helpful, these comments served only to diminish my already-shrivelling heart.

I gave it due consideration. What was I good at? What other work could I do that would use my skills and experience to contribute to my family and others? Unfortunately, I am that ‘special’ breed who are wholeheartedly committed to encouraging and equipping friendship with Jesus. Thus, in my lack of employment as a minister, my faith was faltering. What happened to the “flowing streams” I was allegedly planted beside? I was bearing no fruit, my leaf was withering, and I was certainly not prospering in anything.

Words Too Simple to Be True?

One of my favourite passages from the Bible opens The Book of Psalms:

How happy is the one who does notwalk in the advice of the wickedor stand in the pathway with sinnersor sit in the company of mockers!Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction,and he meditates on it day and night.He is like a tree planted beside flowing streamsthat bears its fruit in its seasonand whose leaf does not wither.Whatever he does prospers.

The wicked are not like this;instead, they are like chaff that the wind blows away.Therefore the wicked will not stand up in the judgement,nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,but the way of the wicked leads to ruin.

(Psalm 1)

These ancient song lyrics have always been a source of comfort for me … until, that is, I found myself cut down unexpectedly.

I will be the first to admit these lyrics present a rather simplistic view of the world. Is it true the righteous always triumph and the wicked get their just rewards? Maybe herein lies the problem. When the friends of Jesus come to expect this simplicity, they set themselves up for trouble. Despite all God has done in Jesus to rescue, reconcile, and restore humanity, this remains a fallen world, for the time being at least.

How then can we replenish our life once we’ve been cut down?

The lyrics above do not actually present an once-for-all or a life-is-beautiful-and-nothing-hurts experience. The lyrics presume an experience of faith and lifestyle based on delighting in the Lord’s instruction found recorded in the Bible. Meditating on and continually learning from the commands of God is akin to a tree planted by flowing streams. It is from this spiritual discipline we have access to that experience of peace, provision, and power.

The lyrics above do not deny the disappointments, dangers, and disasters of life. Due to these ever-present possibilities, we may feel cut down. Nevertheless, we still have access to those flowing streams through our meditating on and continual learning from the commands of God. In time, our life will blossom again, even if we seem a little wonky afterwards, like the tree in the photo.

Things to Continue or Start

When you feel cut down in life, here’s a couple of things you can and should do:

Continue to read the Bible, even if only for a minute or two a day. Whatever plan you follow, the wisdom contained therein will remind you of our Creator’s care and concern. You may even find some advice for a way forward.

Continue to pray, even if only for a minute or two a day. Having been cut down, you will likely feel spiritually dry, unable to pray, to express yourself to God. That is perfectly understandable. But even spending a minute or two in silence can be quite refreshing to one’s soul. Lifting up complaints to God is also perfectly acceptable —the books of Psalms and Lamentations have been included in the Bible for good reason. Just keep the lines of communication open and those streams flowing!

Continue to gather with a community of faith. No, they likely won’t understand and will likely offer lame words of consolation. At least they care enough to try to offer comfort. The worst thing you can do when you’re cut down is to sever ties with your network of support. Sharing your experience with others may lead to legitimately helpful offers and resources.

For more inspiration and ideas, Brett and Kate McKay, over at The Art of Manliness, have written a great article touching on a similar theme: “Life is Hard;Get Drunk on This”. A little tongue-in-cheek, they present some other principles for recovering when you feel cut down by the hardness of life. I can’t recommend this article enough.

As for me, those months were bleak and I hope never to find myself in that situation again. I did find employment as an Associate Minister with a new church, which brought a different type of disappointment into my life. But 4 years on, I am now the sole minister of a small community of faith in Sydney. Those who gather there are great, full of faith and good humour. I am finally in a legitimate program for gaining licensing as a Minister of Religion. And my life is starting to blossom again.

Have you ever felt disappointments, dangers, and disasters in life had cut you down?Have you recovered?What helped or is helping to replenish your life?

Have many times have you heard, “just trust me on this”? Advice comes from all sorts of sources but it’s not all created equal. When it comes to the changes and challenges of life, there is only one source for advice and instruction that always illuminates the path ahead of us.

I have been a fan, for little while now, of The Babylon Bee, “Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire”. Their caricatures are spot on, as anyone will tell you, who has spent any amount of time within the Christian popular subculture, especially in North America. More than once I’ve laughed out loud while reading their articles and then shared them. Well, here I go again…

Recently, they posted, “The TL;DR Edition Of All 66 Books Of The Bible”. I had to look it up. “TL;DR” stands for “too long; didn’t read”, an acronym of the Twitter-age too funny in itself. The author(s) summarised every book of the Bible into a short, pithy sentence. Some examples include:

Genesis – God makes everything and it’s really good for about 3.2 seconds.

Ruth – The Bachelorette: Hebrew Edition.

Job – Hebrew country music song.

Song of Solomon – Go ask your parents.

Matthew – Peter does dumb stuff, Jesus is the Messiah.

Mark – Peter does dumb stuff, Jesus is the suffering Servant.

Luke – Peter does dumb stuff, Jesus is the Son of Man.

John – Peter does dumb stuff, Jesus is the Son of God.

Revelation – Kirk Cameron fights the Antichrist in order to save Christmas from the new world order. Thanks, Kirk!

Granted, to catch all the humour you have to have read the Bible and studied it a bit at some time. It will also help if you have participated in the Christian popular subculture to some degree. Even if neither of these are true for you, it is easy to catch the sarcasm not just of the summaries themselves but directed at those who would desire the Bible’s message be reduced to more bite-sized chunks.

It is a sad truth that for life’s difficulties we prefer simple solutions pandering to our innate laziness. For something as important as knowing the difference between good and evil, your life just may depend on going a little deeper than a pithy summary.

In our Internet age, it is too easy to find advice for anything and everything. From YouTube videos to self-help-books-for-the-masses to podcasts with the latest tips and tricks for the easy life, simple advice is easy to come by. No advice stands the test of time like that found in the Bible:

Your word is a lamp for my feetand a light on my path.

(Psalm 119:105)

According to the writer of these words, the advice he found in the Bible acted like a torch that illuminates the path immediately in front of him. It doesn’t always tell us what is far ahead but its warm glow provides comfort and confidence for taking the next steps.

The changes and challenges we face can make life difficult. They are made more difficult when we are not prepared, when we don’t know what to do in such situations before they arise. While we can’t know everything about everything, even those things likely to rear their ugly heads, we can seek out proven wisdom and gain from the experience of others in advance.

If you have ever been inclined to watch a YouTube video for how to…, read a book by the self-help guru du jour, or listened to a podcast interviewing a self-made man, I get it. I watch, read, and listen too! But I always return to the book whose advice has stood the test of time. In the Bible are stories of successful men and failed men. There are people whose virtue was unparalleled and those who were clearly rat bags! There is wisdom to be mined from its depths and clear instructions for when to do this and when to avoid that.

Yet, to learn how to be good and avoid evil, one needs to spend time with the Bible’s stories and extract every last morsel of inspiration for lifestyle. You cannot just skim its pages and hope to land on something good. Read a little bit each day or read a lot. Stick with the source you can trust!

What is your favourite piece of wisdom you have gained from reading the Bible? Share it in the comments below so we can all gain a little light for our path.

Likely you have completed a challenge or achieved something in the past for which you have a trophy, medal, or certificate. That’s great! So what are you doing with yourself now? Reminiscing or looking for the next challenge to face?

Shake the dust off those trophies! Every man needs a challenge.

As I’ve mentioned before, I belong to a Christian motorcycle club. We chose to launch our 2018 Open Meetings by giving out long-service badges to a few members. I received my 10 year badge. Another received a 25 year badge. A member who passed away last year received his 40 year badge posthumously. His wife accepted the badge on his behalf.

These badges are a marker for indicating a member’s long-service. In this case, they also serve as a memorial for those who have died. It was a very moving meeting and start to the challenges of the year ahead together.

On Markers and Memorials

Yet I was struck afterwards by the difference between markers and memorials, the relative value of each to challenge us to further action.

Loosely defined, markers indicate a real or virtual objective completed in the past or aimed for in the future. Memorials celebrate the memory of a person or event. My 10 year and 25 year badges marking long-service encourage the members of our club to continue serving. The 40 year badge given was a memorial to a valued member who served well and faithfully, but is no longer able to serve, through no fault of his own.

Markers inspire and challenge us to continue the journey. Memorials, while pleasant nostalgia, may contribute little to those left behind —let me be clear, no disrespect is intended with this post to the member of 40 years or his family, as this incident merely sparked some thoughts I’d like to share here.

A Memorial Challenge

This difference between markers and memorials can be demonstrated also with a story from the history of the ancient people of Israel. We read in The Book of Joshua:

After the entire nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord spoke to Joshua: “Choose twelve men from the people, one man for each tribe, and command them: Take twelve stones from this place in the middle of the Jordan where the priests are standing, carry them with you, and set them down at the place where you spend the night.”

So Joshua […] said to them, “[…] this will be a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ you should tell them, ‘The water of the Jordan was cut off in front of the ark of the Lord’s covenant. When it crossed the Jordan, the Jordan’s water was cut off.’ Therefore these stones will always be a memorial for the Israelites.”

The Israelites did just as Joshua had commanded them. The twelve men took stones from the middle of the Jordan, one for each of the Israelite tribes, just as the LORD had told Joshua. They carried them to the camp and set them down there. Joshua also set up twelve stones in the middle of the Jordan where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant were standing. The stones are still there today.

(Joshua 4:1–9)

A large number of people crossed over on dry land because the Lord miraculously parted the river for them. At the Lord’s urging, they erected stones in that spot and committed to remembering what the Lord had done for them there. Yet, we know from history, that memorial did not challenge the people. Neither did it stop them from rejecting the Lord and worshipping other gods in the land to which he led them.

Past Achievements Spur Further Challenges

Reading this, you likely have trophies on a shelf or stored in a box somewhere. They are trophies of past achievements, even as you may now spend most of your time on the couch eating Cheetos! They were not meant to be memorials of past achievements but markers encouraging you to run faster, jump higher, or get stronger.

Whether athletics, intellectual pursuits, travel, adventure, or any other achievement or obstacle overcome, these markers should spur you on to further challenges.By all means, buy the t-shirt, set up the trophy in the pool room, or proudly display the certificate on your wall. Let these be for you a marker, indicating a further objective. Accept the challenge in those things you’ve already proved you have some skill at. Don’t let your souvenirs become merely memorials that arouse a pleasant memory but gather dust otherwise.

What trophies, medals, or certificates have you received that were valuable to you in the past but for which you lost interest? Might you find in them a new challenge to breathe some life into your weary flesh and bones?

Please submit your reflections or any questions below. I would love to hear from you!

For further reading, I’ve written on perseverance here and the aim of life here.