Monday, February 10, 2014

MERKEL & OBAMA : Pelvic Diplomacy

Angela Dorothea Merkel had the President of the United States crooning the national anthem of his mighty country in unadulterated German.

Now, what did it take to accomplish such nerve wrecking cacophony of a supreme quality?

It all begins with a harmless American wiretap on the German chancellor's cell phone. An innocent overseas eavesdrop to steal her granny's choco chip cookie recipe. And why not ?? Americans deem it a right to know the recipe of every single cookie in the culinary world. But, in Oct 2013, Uncle Sam is caught with his hand deep inside aunt Merkels fortune cookie jar. This leaves her hurt and fuming.

To seek closure, aunt Merkel resigns to the Bavarian Alps. She finds solace in a pair of Texan skis sneaked in to the country for her strong feet to symbolically control misguided American adventurism. With Mount Blanc in the visual bubble of her aging eyes, she sets on a jaunt down the snow clad mountain. As she gathers momentum, the ski poles are tucked in between her armpits and her head leans forward to reduce drag. Many frozen moments later, her tapped cell phone buzzes, slicing hard into her harnessed focus. Irritated by the unwarranted interruption, her eyes shift for a wretched moment, only for her skis to run into a hazardous icicle.The mishaphurls the snooped political head into the wild west with uncontrolled political momentum. She lands with an earth shaking thud and a broken pelvic bone.

While the German machinery is busy mending a badly broken bone of national importance, Barack Obama chooses the instance to mend badly broken fences. The US President is one of the first to express deep felt pelvic concerns .

Has that doused the anger simmering within her excellency ? Perhaps no. Not with Victoria Nuland, the momentary queen of gaffes and a top ranking US diplomat based in Europe, who recently disparingly dismissed EU efforts to mediate the ongoing crisis in Ukraine with her golden utterance 'F@#k the EU'. 'Merkels choco chip cookies anyone ?..Obama is indeed singing the star strangled banner in German.'