I had a plan. It was the last year in my 50’s and I was going to make sure it was AMAZING!I had a list.A list of what I wanted to do before I turned 60. It would be fun.

I would kayak.I would stand in a field of sunflowers.I would try indoor skydiving.Try a new recipe every week.Take a CPR class.Pay for coffee for the person behind me in the Starbucks drive through.Get 10000 steps per day. Lose 10 lbs. Exercise daily.Stay in my pajamas for a full day- yes, that was on my list.Take care of me.Forgive someone. The list went on.

I had never felt my age, so there was nothing I was afraid to try or do. I wanted to do it all.I wanted to have fun! It was going to make a great blog post when I was done.

I was making progress! Yoga classes 3 times a week. The new recipes were delicious. I taught my dog to roll over. I felt good paying for a stranger’s coffee. The check marks were systematically being added as I waded through my list of 60 things to do before I turned 60.

Then, life happened.Everything stopped.

Being in a car accident was not on my list. But it happened. I was hurt.I was sad. And counter to my personality I struggled with anger and fear.

My list became doctor appointments, physical therapy, sleeping- all in an effort to rebuild my strength and recover from a concussion, whiplash, nerve damage, vision issues and back pain. Most of the plans on my 60 list I could no longer physically accomplish. Even reading and computer time caused pain.I felt my age.I felt old.

My birthday arrived this week.Sixty candles. Sixty years. And an unfinished list of fun. Historically, for me, the years that have ended in ‘9’ have not been good years. This one continued that trend.​But now I have a shiny new decade to look forward too. The next ‘9’ year is a long way off. I plan to continue to work toward healing. I have time to accomplish the fun stuff.

I believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe I needed to learn that more than one full day in pajamas is not all bad. Maybe I needed a refresher course in how to process anger and fear. Maybe I needed to learn how to forgive the cause of my pain. Maybe I needed to learn lessons in order to be a better teacher.

Who knows, maybe my 60th year will be the best ever. It will make a great blog post when it’s done. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Pennie’s Life Lesson- “Life happens. Not always the way we expect, but life happens.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

LIFE IS ALWAYS FILLING​Marion is an eccentric combination of Annie Oakley, Gloria Steinem and Shirley Temple.

Like Annie Oakley, Marion understood tough times and learned to work hard in order to become financially successful.In the 1860’s Annie, changed ideas about the abilities of women. A century later, Marion did the same.Both had the courage to prove that a woman could stand her ground in the world that men controlled.

​Marion, a single, teenage mom with an 8th grade education began waitressing in a small cafe bringing tips home to provide for her infant son and mother.
​
Over the years she gained her PHD in the ways of life eventually purchasing the cafe, bars, supper clubs and even a construction company.

Like Gloria Steinem, she was not afraid to speak up and voice her opinion -even when it was unpopular.
She continues to be a strong advocate for women and doesn’t shy away from a discussion about her political views.

I’ve seen Marion lock in a business deal during dinner, strongly expressing her opinion about the details of the agreement and, then, just as easily changes her composure, blinks her flirty eyes and giggles with the impish playfulness of a young Shirley Temple.

Marion is a force to be noticed.
Marion is my mother-in-law.

I delight in listening to the stories of her younger years when purchasing property was done with a hand shake and over-bearing men were no match for her.
She tells of how she has made money, lost money, felt success and experienced desperate times.

It was during one of these stories that I heard her make this profound comment,

“I never really looked at my glass as half
full or half empty.
I always thought my glass wasfilling up!”

That statement should be on T-shirts, coffee mugs and tattoos!

That is not just optimistic – that is living a life of expectation.
A life of adventure.
A life of anticipation-- of learning from whatever waits around the next corner.

What if we could all see life that way?
The next time you believe you are having a bad day or living through a challenging time think of it as your life just filling up.
Filling up with experiences to learn from.

Allow your cup to fill with all life has to offer- the good and the challenging.

I hope for Marion, for me and for everyone that our cup of life continues to fill until that very last drip tickles the rim and runs down the side.
And when that happens we all wink, giggle and with an impish smile know that our life was full! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Pennie’s Life Lesson-“Your glass is not half empty or half full –
​ it is always filling!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What? We celebrate all the time!"
Yes, we break out the ice cream and cupcakes to celebrate birthdays and holidays, but we need to “cupcake” the little things in life.

Every second of every day we are surrounded by things to celebrate. Some are obvious. A promotion at work or the birth of a baby are the green fields for the dance of celebration, but let’s dig deeper.

I don’t think there has been a morning of my life that the sun didn’t rise bringing with it a glorious splash of love and light. Thatis cupcake worthy!

The first smell of spring, the flower squeezing between two rocks to find the sun, or the smile on the face of an elderly woman as she watches a toddler walk – cupcakeable!

The smell of coffee in the morning, the kiss on the cheek from someone you love, the note from a friend that says they are thinking of you, the tail wagging greeting from your dog and sliding into bed on clean sheet day –- yep, cupcake with sprinkles!

Watch for these moments and even sweeter, try to turn frustrating moments into a cupcake moment. It may be a red light that stops you when you are late for an appointment, but what can you celebrate as you take a breath? It may be that the pause that forces you to calm down to take the breath is worth a celebration in itself.

A spring storm may require you to add snow shoveling to your already busy day, but those white snowflakes are crystals of beauty and the moisture will guarantee the green burst of spring in your yard.

Do you see how you can turn frustrations into celebrations?

Now, I’m not suggesting you start baking cupcakes on a daily basis. None of us have time for that and our waistline wouldn’t thank us for it. But imagine a cupcake celebration in your head when these wonderful life moments occur.

Who doesn’t like a party? You can create one just by paying attention to these delightful moments. The mental confetti will spill, the balloons will bounce, the champagne glasses will clink with a “cheers it” as you begin to cupcake the small things in life.

​If we are what we eat then today I am oatmeal, blueberries, a turkey sandwich, an apple, salmon, salad and green beans.
Oh, and a medium vanilla chai latte and one...okay, two really tasty sugar cookies.
Well, I'm not perfect!

Think about what else we feed ourselves every day that helps to create who we are.

Did you savor the taste of love and joy?
or
Did you eat a big helping of self-criticism and negative talk?

Did you swallow shame and guilt?

How much anger and resentment did you chew on today?

What about that green smoothie of jealousy you had for a midafternoon snack?

And then right before bed did you munch on doubt and insecurity?

All of these things blend into one big combo meal of emotions and feelings that feed who we are. Have you heard the expression, "junk in- junk out?"

This is exactly what happens to your body and life. In the same way eating high calorie, sugar-filled junk food will show outwardly in the form of weight gain, when you feed yourself negativity then negativity will show outwardly to create a life of anger, depression and pain.

Isn't it time to pay attention to what you feed your mind, body and soul?

Create a menu of positive self-empowering mind, body and soul food.

Begin mixing in healthy amounts of gratitude and self-care into your diet.

None of us are perfect and along with the occasional really tasty sugar cookie there will be times that negative self-talk, doubt or shame will sneak into your daily diet.

Forgive yourself when you indulge in these and then - move on!

If you knew you had the power to create happiness in your life wouldn't you do it?

Well, you do!

It all starts with being grateful. Begin and end each day in gratitude. Just like weight lifting begins strengthening your body with one work out at a time, exercising your gratitude and self- compassion muscles will reshape your life one thank-you and one act of self-love at a time.

Gratitude leads to love, joy and kindness. When you begin fueling your soul with these it will show outwardly bringing happiness to your life.

YOU do have the power to become what you eat! Eat wisely. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie's Life Lesson: "You are what you eat -- feed love to your mind, body and soul!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to pay attention to your negative self-talk and emotions that you consume and replace them with loving self-care and gratitude.

This is a "Pennies From The Past" that I wrote in 2013. On September 13, 2018 I will have been in the water 11 years... and still I wear my life vest.

LIFE VEST

I was forced in the water 5 years, 8 months and 5 days ago.
She was pushed recently.

I met her last month. Immediately, I saw the ache in her eyes as we spoke; the hurt that hides behind the everyday chit chat and smiles. I know too well how to recognize the look of buried pain that is in the eyes of every grieving parent.

We shared photographs. We all carry one. Some are wrinkled and worn and some are sealed in protective covers to keep them safe. I noticed the care she took when I handed her the picture of my son, J.T. and the loving way she brushed her fingers over it. I silently thanked her for that. I did the same with her photograph.

We parents with angel children understand that the love we send them does not stop just because they are not physically here with us.

Our stories are different, and yet the same. The love we feel for our children. The pain we feel without them. The memories, the "did-that's”, the "wish-we-could's," the missing and the wanting all roll into one similar pond of pain.

I am further in the water than she is. The hot and cold of it, the swirling and splashing is a continual dance of how we maneuver without drowning. The trick is to do it with the grace and balance required to keep our heads above water -and breathing--always breathing.

At times I have fought the water current and at times I have floundered reaching for a life vest. The life vest has become one I wear secretly like bullet proof protection under my clothes with the hope that nothing this painful will ever penetrate my heart again.

I continue forward. I see others in the distance, with well-worn life vests, who have maneuvered the water much longer than I have. I feel comfort in knowing they are leaving a trail to follow.

I turn to see the ones behind me as they wade in, stumbling and unsure if they will survive the voyage. I reach my hand back to steady them as the waves hit, listen to them as they cry and help them position their life vests.

After 5 years, 8 months and 5 days I have learned to swim a little better. But, I will always wear my life vest.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Pennie's Life Lesson: “Sometimes we need a life vest and sometimes we can be a life vest for others.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When the piano began playing it was our cue to begin singing. Each time we visited our grandmother who lived states away, my brother, sister and I sang, This Little Light of Mine, at the Hurricane Baptist Church.

When we sang my body swayed back and forth – mostly from nerves. My eyes linked to the glowing face of my grandmother. Her smile encouraged me to sing loud and strong. I loved her and would do anything to make her proud and happy – even overcome the fear I felt standing on a huge stage in front of a crowd to sing the same lyrics year after year.

Not long ago I was back in the Hurricane Baptist Church. As I stood in the pew looking at the one small step to the front platform I realized the passing of time had shrunk the size and scale of the space I stood in as a little girl.

Decades of events skipped through my mind. This was the church where my parents were married. This was the church where I cried at funerals. And this was the church where I learned the song that I could hear as it circled my memory now.

Occasionally, a life lesson is a long time in the learning. Standing in that pew I realized the lesson my grandmother was very intentionally teaching. We could have sung a different song every year, but it was always THAT song. She wanted us to sing it over and over again until we understood the meaning.

We all have our own unique spirit inside; a one of a kind light that needs to shine. We must bravely allow our individual personality, our talent and our joy to be seen and shared. We must have the courage to stand up in front of others and hold up our light. And, never allow anyone to smother it. What a bold and bright lesson in one little song.

This church was my grandmother’s space; a home where she felt love and joy. This is where HER light shinned. This is where I followed her encouragement and love to take that giant step as a little girl. This is where I held up my little light and allowed it to shine boldly, brightly and bravely. This is where I now understood the power of my spirit and the importance of bringing it out into the open space for others to see.

When I hustled to the front to pay for the few items I had in my cart, I thought it was my lucky day!

Many checkout lines were open and the lines were long, but line number 13 had only one customer. I quickly zipped my cart into position.

The clerk was happily smiling and scanning the purchases for the couple in front of me. Then I realized the struggle.

The clerk, who was hearing impaired, was trying to communicate with the couple through sign language and loud hard to distinguish words. I watched as she demonstrated unlimited patience and began pointing to the screen on the register to communicate.The couple, relieved to be done with their transaction, hurried away.

I realized why her checkout line was short. People were avoiding her.

I pushed my cart forward, unloaded my items, smiled and waved “Hi,” to the clerk. Her grin was huge, her happiness bold, as she waved back and said, “Hello” in her loud grating voice.

Knowing only a few words in sign language I awkwardly did my best to speak her language. Her motions asked if she could put my items together in one bag. I put my fists together, thumbs up, and pulled them away from each other in what I remembered to mean “apart.”

She paused and looked at me with the excitement of a child. Her smile widened, her eyes connected with mine and I saw her face grow into a sparkle.I was speaking “her” language. We moved through the payment process with a few circles on my chest to communicate, “please” and as we finished I put my hand to my lips and then brought it down palm up to her and said, “Thank You,” in both her languageandmine.

Whose language are you missing?

How often do we miss the opportunity to really see someone, look in their eyes, connect with who they are inside and speak their language?

Do you get down on the floor and talk to a child at their eye level? Or do you talk down to them from a height they can only imagine being?Do you speak their language?

Do you take the time to talk to those in your life circle about what is important? Do you know what makes them sing in the sunshine and cry in the dark? Do you know their pain?Do you speak their language?

Do you show kindness to the elderly, homeless or marginalized people? Or do you sweep by them feeling like they are a nuisance? Do you speak their language?

Do you stop when you come home and acknowledge your dog’s tail wagging dance of love when they see you? Or do you brush right by them to a task you feel is more important?Do you speak their language?

It was my lucky day.By the clerk’s reaction to my effort at sign language, I believe she felt acknowledged, seen, heard and validated.Isn't that what we all want?

What she didn't know was that she had given me a gift.Because of her, I stopped long enough in my busy day to really look at another, to notice our differences and yet stand on equal ground, to blend her form of communication with mine-- as she did her best to speak my language and I did my best to speak hers. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Pennie’s Life Lesson: “Take time to acknowledge others. See them, hear them, and​ speak their language!”

YOUR TURN... My intent in sharing this with you is to help you see all the people in this world and to encourage you to "speak their language".... and they may just speak yours!

ARE YOU100% COMMITTED?Have you ever made
a decision to go on a diet; stop drinking; begin an exercise program; get a degree; end a toxic relationship or make the relationship you are in more loving?And then, you either never begin or you follow through for a while and then quit. It must be your lack of willpower or other things got in the way… or you believe you are just not good enough to accomplish your dreams, right?Wrong.
None of these cause you to fail.You are not successful because you are not 100% committed. Without being 100% committed you will never follow through to reach those goals. Without being 100% committed to your effort (no matter what it is) you have really never made a decision in the first place.

You see, a decision is a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration of the work required and the outcome desired. If you are not 100% committed to your dream or goal you haven’t decided anything… you are just thinking about it, wondering…pondering.

With that kind of wishy-washy mindset, your brain will find all the loopholes and escape routes to keep you from taking the actions required to be successful.Make a decision. Believe in it. Feel it. Commit 100%. No excuses. You will be amazed at your success!Pennie’s Life Lesson:
“To be successful at anything you must make a decision, believe in it, FEEL it, and commit to it 100% - no excuses!”~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~​

YOUR TURN...My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to examine some of your past decisions and goals. Were you successful at accomplishing them? Maybe this is why.

Years ago when my husband and I were dating I learned a powerful lesson.

He would occasionally say something like,“I need a couple of days.”

Of course I immediately took this personally and thought something was wrong. I would call him and stop by his house to see if he was okay, after all I must have said or done something to upset him.

He would assure me I hadn't and that it didn't have anything to do with me or “us.”

I soon realized he was right. It didn't have anything to do with me. We just have different ways of recharging.
He needs downtime.
He needs a quiet respite to rest, relax and regenerate.

For me, when I need recharging I feed on the energy of being with people. Talking, laughing and companionship regenerates me, so of course when he would tell me he needed time to himself I felt pushed away.I took it personally.

How many times in life do we take things personally and the reality is that it has nothing to do with us? Whenever a stressful situation occurs many of us default immediately to the negative. We blame ourselves.

Let’s look at it differently.Let go of the immediate assumption and realize it isn't always about us…it could always be something else that causes someone to be cranky, in a hurry or snap at us.

Here is a trick to help with this self-inflicted internalization of stress. Q-tip it! Yes, Q-tip it!Quit Taking It Personally!

As a reminder, take a couple of Q-Tips and tape them to your computer, your bathroom mirror, or your car visor. Look at them often and when something happens in life that sets off your internal blame game, remember to Q-Tip it!

The lesson I learned from my (now) husband all those years ago has saved me from many hours of needless worry.It isn't always about me.And guess what, now we recharge using what works for both of us. We recharge together, laughing, talking and in the quiet space of each other’s companionship. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Pennie’s Life Lesson: “When the stress of life sets off your internal blame game, Q-tip it! Quit Taking It personally!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

YOUR TURN...
My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to think about why things upset you... are you taking it personally when it has nothing to do with you?

I didn’t feel quite right when I woke up, but I had a “To Do” list that was heavier than the increased throbbing of my head.

I hustled through my shower and scurried my two dogs to the groomer. I met a friend for a quick breakfast and then my plan included grocery shopping, blog writing, cleaning out a closet… the list went on.

My husband would be returning from a trip just in time to make our dinner reservations. It was a busy day.

But none of that happened. My stomach immediately began swirling after breakfast and my body quickly began a downward spiral. I am not one to get sick. I NEVER get sick.

Well, more accurately, I NEVER allow myself the time to be sick. Typically I push through days like this ignoring the discomfort of a headache or a cold. Rarely do I ever admit that I don’t feel well.

I decided I would go back home and lay down for an hour and then I would be fine and right back into my list. I called my husband and told him my plan. He said, “Why put an hour limit on it…
just go back to bed until you feel better.”

It was a head game for a while with that voice telling me,you don’t feel that bad,
you have things to do,
people depending on you..
get up ….GET UP!

The concept of actually allowing myself time to heal was foreign to me, but as the hour turned into two and my body was continuing into a dark circle of ugliness I conceded.

I was going to do it this time. I was going to sink into the safety of my bed allowing my body to heal instead of pushing it as if it wasn’t important enough to take care of..as if "I"wasn’t important enough to take care of.

My husband called and said he was coming home early to pick up the dogs, cancel the dinner reservation and take care of everything. The urge to argue was muffled by my meek, “ok.”I needed help.

My head sunk further into the comfort of my pillow and my body deepened into the cocoon of my bed. I allowed myself to rest.After 7 hours I attempted hot tea, a piece of toast and juice. Then it was back to my bed for 12 hours.

As the sun came up on day two I moved to the couch. The concept of being vertical was not yet in my body’s plan.

Although I encourage others to practice self-care, sometimes I am not very good at it myself. After 48 hours of blurred memories are behind me one concept became very clear. It is ok to ask for help. It is ok to be sick. It is ok to allow your body time to rest, restore and heal.I am important enough to be taken care of. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Pennie Life Lesson: “Listen to your body. Allow yourself time to rest, restore and heal.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ​

My intent in sharing this with you is to encourage you to be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself time to heal.

Author

There is a certain magic about where I live both physically and spiritually – on the crossroads of Spirit and Brave.

It seems appropriate that my writings be found under the sign that locates my life. I wish for all of you the ability to live in your Spirit to experience a life filled with love and gratitude and be Brave in the learning of your life lessons.

PLEASE NOTE: This page does not provide medical or legal advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, treatment or services to you or to any other individual. Through this site and links to other sites, Pennie Hunt provides general information for inspiration, encouragement and educational purposes only. The information provided in this site, or through links to other sites, is not a substitute for legal, medical or professional care, and you should not use the information in place of a visit, call or the advice of your lawyer, physician or other healthcare provider.