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Me, 100yrs old

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Episode something…

You should understand, my mum (May she rest in eternal peace) used to work in City Styles, a famous designer shop in Meru back in the 80’s thus she could afford afew luxury in life…read Imperial leather soap.

Nostalgia…

Anyhooo Lets come back to Jimmy & his eventful youthful life….3TOC & 3N you dont have to wait til 2010…

Jimmy was the only Boy (amongst enough girl cousins) in his Grandma’s compound and thus its was a thrill when Hump(rey) was brought…well sought of delivered-cum-dumped by his Mum to this homestead. She was tired of raising the Kid on her own while his Army dad partied all through…..

Hump was a special case….. he idolised Jimmy sooo much. Anything Jimmy said goes (or is it Goed since its past tense… Intel clarify)

Both of them had a chronic bed wetting problem…which was rather a huge embarrassment since the girl cousins didnt experience the same predicament…. Jimmy being the older, clever & industrious one came up with a simple solution… they would tie their wee wees before bed and vooooiiiiilaaaaaa problem solved!

Hump took it seriously and really tied his ‘uncut’ wee wee enthusiastically and off to bed they went. Come morning they had achieved their objective, both beds were dry. However for Hump he faced another issue. His niniioo was swollen to the maximum and he couldn’t untie the knot. His wails caught attention of their aunt who after accessing the situation came brandishing a sharp knife….. by some luck Hump made it through (uncircumcised) and has chosen (selectively) to forget the happenings of that day! He will never talk about it!

Another time, after morning classes since they were still in lower primary & didn’t go to school in the afternoon, Jimmy coerced his cousin to go for Mountain ‘slides’ instead of doing the customary cattle herding.

Mountain sliding for those clueless involved using broken pieces of plastics Basin or jerrycans as gliders down a hill. These rides most of the time ended onto a river or a nearby tree or if lucky enough a shrub. At the end of the day, the School Khaki short really took a beating and two gaping holes will be seen greeting the world from the rear….

Grandma was never amused after such ordeal & sight, and at the verge of a heart attack since her cattle didn’t have enough fonder, ordered the two boys to go for a bath. As per kawa they just washed the usual places….. Arms & legs since it was a weekday…. Grand Ma threatened a thourogh beating but Jimmy ofcourse being hard-headed refused to have a full body bath (it was a weekday for heavens sake and full body bath was reserved ONLY for sundays!).

Grand ma ordered food (yellow maize Ugali & milk) not to be served to the boys til they had a FULL BODY SHOWER since they resembled squirrels!

and Jimmy ran away from home….. at tender age of 7, his cousin at his heels! All because they could’t fathom a full body bath on a weekday!

To be continued…..

AOB:

I want to open a pub.

I’ll be the greatest customer….and I hope to Lure Kirima, Archer, Milo, Modo, Mwas, Kafai & Halfs to the joint…. The Eight of us will guarantee great returns!

I want to name it ‘CHRIST IS THE WAY BAR & KUKU place‘….. do you think that name is too long?

PS:

and finally In the spirit of eastafricanism,,,,,,,,,,, hope this will be of some help to someone…. Dude, dont suffer in silence!

Rexona LOL .
That bar name will surely land you in trouble for sure forget everyone else more like you relas “itu ka okwetha kirumi, ugachetha na mantu ja murungu”. By the way doe that mean bloggers can run a tab in your new joint? pretty please?

My excuse is I wasent Sober & spell checker said its a valid word! LOL

The bar…good idea (if you’re serious about it) and between the above named individuals you stand to make good cash. But si HnH should be counted as watu wawili coz there’s Half, and Half? Lakini that name will attract random street preachers. Wacha I think up a name. I second Gish, booze on credit for bloggers!

Hillarious right from the start…..do you still take a full body shower only on Sundays? I remember when I was young too..I could wash my head, arms and legs coz it was too cold..

I think the bar is a good idea, so is the name, we could just shorten it to Christ’s. That way, someone can think you are going to a gathering when you casually say: “I passing by Christ’s on the way home”

I hadnt noticed FONDER till Archer pointed it out . So you guyz used to hump(rey)the goats, the cows, despite the many kittens!

We used to have a shower only on Sundays or Saturday evening when visiting grandma too. We would wash only around the eyes the nose and mouth leaving a very pararad area near the hairline. Over those holidays, our shins would crack for lack of vaseline, making them look like a mathematics exercise book.