Day-in day-out, life has become a routine. People drive down the same route everyday, stop at the same traffic lights, pass by the same buildings to their offices. There don’t seem to be a need for them to be alert on what they are doing because the task gets done.

Do you realize that after some time boredom sets in. Later, that action becomes a drab and life becomes dead and uncreative. But, that particular mechanical activity can be done with interest only when you de-mechanize or de-automize your movements.

For a start, change the action and location

Drive a different route for a change. That will get your attention to be alert. If you are dining in the dining room, for a change take it to the garden. At night, if you are used to looking at glaring lights of the city and buildings, for a change tilt your head and look at the glimmer of the stars.

Remember that these activities are done to turn your mechanical approach to the awarenes of the surrounding. And they will definitely lead you to those moments that you are more aware of what you are doing and enjoying it as well.

Sooner, you don’t need to change anymore

In the span of time, you are so immersed in what you’re doing that there is no need for changes. Your drive along the same route will not bore you. Your dining at the same table with the same table spread and the same people will not tire or weary you.

Along the drive path, you will begin to appreciate details. You take interest in the variety of pedestrians on the pavement or crossing the road. There will be feeling of friendliness and interest towards people. Those decorative plants along both side of the roads will look more green and lively. Those draperies that hang in the dining seem to project a different shade of beauty. That bonsai in the garden that you never stop to look at will be looking particularly more beautiful.

And if you have attained this state, then life is all yours. Every moment becomes an enjoyment. You don’t need to go the movies to get entertained, neither wait for the next American Idol show. So, de-automize this very moment and celebrate life to the maximum.

I recall the days when I get too jerky over things that don’t fall into place. It is easier for things to go haywire when emotions go out of control. It is when you get jumpy over things that don’t go according to your expectation. I used to think probably that I am not matured enough, therefore, the anxiety. However, I began to realize that it is not the maturity, but the dualistic slant of the mind.

Dissentment, created by non-acceptance

As my antagonistic attitude towards life started to reduce, then I began to realise the trick. Look at it this way. You want all things to fall right. However, what is right and what is wrong in this ever changing world? Every good does not produce absolute good. For example, ample rain is good for the farmers but the fishermen misses his sail and catch. Therefore, a good to someone can be bad to someone else.

So, soon I realised that success and failure are only two sides of the same coin. They are relative and not absolute. So, why bother?

Acceptance brings fulfillment

But when I started accepting things as they are, giving less importance on outcomes and results, my thoughts became more stable and a fulfilling state entered into me. It is the non-antagonistic,pure state of accepting things as they in existence.

Be it a nine to five job that you don’t enjoy doing, or a neighbour that you dislike. But these are ways of the world. Only by accepting them, then you’re able to go beyond them and enjoy life. Otherwise, they will be stuck in your subconscious, that these consciousness will haunt you forever in life.

I am a teacher and a writer. I enjoy both occupations tremendously. Prior engaging to these pursuits or vocations, I was dealing in an entirely different field. It was that of the futures markets. Those movements of prices were exciting but never gave me those fulfilling taste or satisfaction. I could not penetrate deep into them. It could probably due to one being so engaged in the mind that much instable feelings and anguish sets in.

I had to admit here again that I never had those fulfilling moments despite having made large amounts of money for clients. I had several years of good market forecasts and clients were happy. However, life was full of thoughts. They were neither concrete, nor intellectual but mere assumptions and mind games. And however sophisticated you make out of them, it only boils down to the simple price movement of either up or down.

This experience indeed taught me a lesson that one can go on playing these mind games in life and move further away from reality. And that reality is simply a fulfilling moment that one could feel when one disengages or go beyond the mind.

And how do you obtain these feelings? Engage yourself with the work that you love. I failed that because I was looking more at the income numbers and so-called high profile career in the markets. Get into something that you can pour out your love. It will be that which you can dive deep into. It will be an engagement that you would not fuss to carryout even at three in the morning.

People choose their vocations for the wrong reasons. That’s why many a times you bump into people with different capabilities but oddly engaging in something else. For example, a Salesman talking in a saint-like manner gives you the amusing impression whether he is there to save the world! We are trained by parents and the society to choose careers that they think right and fitting the society. However, they fail to realize and similarly make us not to realize that the purpose of work is to celebrate life and enjoy ourselves. It is not for one to do for the sake of something else or someone else.

The pillow, as I referred earlier, is a non-rebellious, naïve, meek, submissive item in our household. However, it could carry the utmost utility when it comes to taking the edge off anger.

The non-defiant pillow

The pillow, a soft, cuddly item is the companion of Man since ancient times. It gives him comfort as well as support for his head. It stores his unique smell that we call ‘odor’.Have you ever realized;

How many times your saliva would have oozed out and made that abstract drawing on its cover and yet it did not rebel?

Has it ever wake you up at the middle of the night and asked to go to the loo?

How many times your baby would have urinated on it and yet it kept calm?

How many times your mischievous nephews and nieces would have engaged in pillow throwing and yet it did not complain to you?

The pillow is going to remain submissive to whatever hell that you are going to provide to it.

Capitalize on it

Many a times we get these feeling:

·When will we get a chance to push off our wives over a mountain cliff?

·Did you ever hope that the golf ball that you are going to hit on the long shot would be your boss’s head?

·Would you ever felt that you could have slapped the other person in the family for having acted so foolishly?

·Have you not felt smacking you children for behaving so nastily?

But you never acted on them.

So day-in day-out this kind of repressed anger and rage keeps on building inside. And they can turn poisonous one day.

But there’s an alternative. The pillow can become the substitute. You can’t do that on the other person. That will be criminal. But you can do it on the pillow because it doesn’t hurt. Neither does it complain. Whether it is a guerilla attack, sadism or just pillow beating, nothing happens.

Therefore this provides the opportunity to show your rage than to show it on those around you.

The way:

Get into your room and close the door. Let out the anger as much as you can.

1.The beating.

Beat the pillow as much as you can. Punch, hit, strike, bang, hammer, thump, thrash, strangle whatever that you wish to get that anger out.

2. The piercing

Get hold of a knife. Strike right into the heart of the pillow. Bring as much anger on that kill. You can even have multiple stabs.

It really helps. You will then know how much anger is taken out at the end of the session.

3. The biting

Some have this repressed feeling to show their anger by biting things off. Bite as much as you can on the pillow. Don’t hesitate as the pillow won’t complain.

After the exercise, much of the rage and anger carried within would have dissipated. You would feel again the freshness of a new leaf.

Pillow beating can be an excellent way to mitigate anger as you need not return your anger on the person who caused it by harming them. Instead it can be on the non-defiant pillow.

As I said earlier the pillow is much connected to our subject matter of Anger Management. However I did not feel that I should write down both in the same post. This is mind boggling while the other is a wholesome subject. Therefore let’s get into the solution:

The young man looked around the room thinking hard for an answer:

Many of the following ideas flashed in his mind:

It is not proper for the legs to be facing the entrance.(for passing visitors).

The head is always placed close to a table for easy reach of things, i.e. an alarm clock.

The Buddhists believe, to be able to grasp much of the vigorous earth magnetic forces, one’s head should be facing the north. But where the hell is North in this room, wondered the young man as there wasn’t any window for him to look outside.

In contrast, the non-Buddhists believe that one should avoid placing the head towards the North to escape from the strenuous magnetic forces that can create strange dreams and nightmares.

Or just toss a coin and leave it to providence.

However, just when he was about to opt for one of the above, a revelation struck is mind.

He remembered the pillow. Why is the pillow used to support the head? It is not only for comfort but to avoid the blood rushing over to the head or brain due to gravitational forces. Therefore, the head or the upper portion should always be tilted a level higher than the lower portion of the body.

This is what he did; he went to the table at the other corner. Took out a fruit, i.e. an orange or a lime ( a more rounded one). Went back to the bed and placed right at the center.

The direction the orange rolls towards will be the feet.

The young man went to bed that night peacefully and woke up the following morning much refreshed and ready for the next riddle.

It reminds me to write something about our companion, the pillow. It is our longtime companion, sometimes neglected I feel, as there could be a precious utility.

However, before I share with you the connection, let me put forward to you a riddle with a little story. I usually do it with my Intermediate classes. Think about it. It really has a logical explanation. Sometimes some of my fifteen-year-olds could pull in the right guess. The answer shall be provided in my next post.

The riddle:

It all started, in a faraway kingdom. The King goes hunting with his soldiers. As he was trailing a deer, he tried to hide among some thorny plants. Some of the twigs snapped and the sap trickled on to his eyes that blinded him.

His soldiers brought him back to the palace and the best physicians were called. But none could cure his eyes. There was an old wise man, who stated that the cure could only be obtained from the nectar of a solitary flower in the world called ‘Bakawali’. And that flower is found in a kingdom beyond the seventh seas, ruled by warlike women who hated men.

So, an announcement was made that whoever could bring in the flower to cure the King’s eyes would stand to gain an enormous reward. All the young and strong men of the land set forth to bring back this flower. All of them knew well of the pitfalls but couldn’t resist the rewards.

(This is how all stories start. Anyhow, now the interesting part – the riddle).

Among the men, there was one brave and intelligent young man. When he arrived on that land, he saw aggressive men-like women dressed up like sentinels guarding the borders and outskirts. He came to know that many have come to acquire the flower and none left successful. They somewhat had to undergo stringent tests. He also recognized many of his countrymen, head shaven and wearing prisoners’ robes.

He approached the palace of the queen and mentioned of his intention of obtaining the ‘Bakawali’. He was warned of the stringent tests and pitfalls and the punishment upon failure to solve riddles. But the young man swerved not. So he was brought to a room.

The riddle:

He was asked to enter a room. At one corner of the room there was a single bed. At the other corner, there was small table with a basket of fruits. Fruits of all kinds, i.e. apples, oranges, mangoes, grapes, limes etc.

The question is, at which side of the bed that he would place his head when he goes to sleep? (The strange and difficult thing is, both side of the bed look exactly the same.) How is he going to find out which is the head part and which is the feet? Failing which he will face similar consequences of his friends.

I can’t continue writing until you comeback with the answers and I wish to establish the connection.

Jogging can be great exercise. Many people would admit that. But jogging could also be a great reliever of stress. This I am saying from my true experience that I enjoyed every moment of it during my teenage days till college days. Somehow, that total movements of legs and arms did bring about a still condition of thoughts, which I realize and synthesize today as a great reliever of stress.

When did I discover this?

I used to be a middle and long distance runner. Cross country race was my favorite. The intention to win prizes was there. However, usually being too confident about becoming the champion, it was never a struggle till the finishing line. Neither, there existed any threat of the competitors.

So it wasn’t much of a competitive situation, that during the runs, I somewhat now could recall those exhilarating moments.These moments I believe could have resulted from my love for running. But love is the exception as many people run and unwind themselves.

So, what could be the secret?

I caught up with running within six months or so and joined the competitions. The track and field became competitive that I trained hard. But the enjoyment or ecstasy did not result from the competitive sports. Instead it was the cross country. Running along the country, passing villages, gardens and peace loving inhabitants of village houses brought about this magic and soothing feeling.

So what am I really arriving at?

When I ran those cross-country races, even though it was fast, the terrains, those unleveled grounds enabled me to make full use of my limbs to run. And the whole awareness of running became more prominent when you pass through that nature of trees, springs, undergrowths, drains and not forgetting the cooing birds.

So I persisted in those long distance races just to get those satisfying moments. And I came to realize that it is indeed a means to get rid of your stress, which lingers on everyone in today’s modern world.

Jogging, a beneficial exercise

Therefore, the reminder is, don’t run like a professional. Run and have a lot of motion of swinging your arms and striding your legs. Don’t let that awareness of the body slip your consciousness. Once tired, just sit under a tree and feel the warmth of the grass and the earth and embrace the earth forces.

This is indeed an easy exercise compared to many other exercises and the right contemplation can bring in more benefits. Slowly, your thoughts will start disappearing one by one and you have come to attain that refreshing, thoughtless moment. You become less angry and those anxieties and fear begin to reduce. However, the moment the running become mechanical, then it shall not be beneficial to you any more. Drop it and move on to other methods such as swimming or dancing.

Managing one’s stress has become the fad of the modern man. Be it a fad or a disease, it is the number one illness of the present world. More than half ofhumanity utilize this ‘infamous’ word as opposed to peaceful living.

Why manage stress? Definitely to lessen one’s anguish and worries. But it sounds more like that you have contracted stress and that you need to manage it. Why not avoid it in the first place? Why invite stress to burden you and look for ways to unburden it?

The question needs deep understanding of the causes of stress. The cause is not the external problems that everyone faces but the way these problems are confronted or accepted. And eventually it boils down to the matters or mechanism of the mind.

What really is stress?

So, what really is stress then? Stress is the presence of the mind dealing with the multitude of thoughts that come banging onto the mind. Then, it is the control of the thoughts that is going to overcome stress.

Try attempting that! For your information, most people have tried that. The result is, the more you try controlling your thoughts, the more offensive and wilder they are going to be. So far, none have been successful in defeating thoughts.

Ignorance instead of control?

However, there is a superior way, which one could get away from these potent commandos of thoughts. The way is not a method actually, but the total ignorance of it. Ignoring the continuous traffic of thoughts, is the answer to overcoming stress.

Therefore it is not the enmity towards thoughts that is going to be the solution but the openess. Make thoughts your friends but be detached from them.

Carrying too much of unwanted thoughts is the reason for the accumulation of stress. Day in, day out there is a constant traffic of thoughts. These thoughts are in a variety in nature, i.e. desire thoughts, future plans, memories, ambitions, aspirations. They constantly bombard our mind. They are either of the past or the future.

Stay in-between and enjoy every moment

But have you ever wondered that if one is unconcerned about one’s past or one’s future actions, there will a be a possibility of reducing one’s stress. Take the opportunity to stay still for a short moment.

If you are drinking a cup of coffee, just smell the aroma. Taste by drowning your taste buds into its flavour. Feel the warmth of the coffee.

Don’t start your ‘routine’, mechanical thinking again by asking questions such as ‘who could have made this coffee?’ Or making the expressions such as ‘the coffee tastes good!’ as they are thought provoking expressions.

At home when you are doing your housework, just get immersed into it. Don’t rationalize your work, by thinking when will the chores be completed or what will others say about your work. Instead get into the enjoyment of doing it.

Be cool

Become cool, don’t get identified with your thoughts. Become friendly with your thoughts. Let it pass you and not through you. Be detached. And by and by you will come to realize that your stress level is becoming lesser and lesser. And one day you will realize that the stress is no more there.

You have now learnt how to overcome stress. You feel that the problems are not the cause of stress but the disposition of your mind in dealing with the problems, is the real culprit.

Therefore the next time the stress comes upon you, be cool and detached. It would find you not worth dealing with and will take its hike.

I shall be writing about living a healthy life. I came to realise that having a healthy body, however important, is not the most important. It has to combine with healthy thoughts. But nowadays it is so difficut to discriminate between a healthy and a non-healthy thought.

We are continuously bombarded with thoughts as a result of things that go around us. We tend to believe many things outside there. We tend to accept what the other person does or preach as the right thing. But only insights and intelligence is going to help us to discriminate and adopt the right things in life that will brings us happiness.

Therefore, it is the unity ofmind, body and the soul that is brought to work together in harmony at this present moment in all kinds of activities that you are engaged in. And that will be the solution to a happier, healthier life.

That is what this blog will be writing about. Hope you will enjoy my oncoming posts.