User:Acrolo/UnBooks: Olivers Twister

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

This article is under construction for the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition.

For some reason, Acrolo thinks he/she/it has a chance.Humor them and give them a fair shot. Unless you're Acrolo, hands off!

Oliver's twister is a story about a boy who gets mostly everything his heart desires, except for one thing... A KFC twister which his mother refuses to buy for him one day after being informed by a dietician that Oliver's health is in jeopardy from being far too overweight. The story takes the reader through funny moments, sad moments and touching moments of sympathy inspiring true condolences and slight KFC cravings.

A thin beam of afternoon sunlight shines through the living room window past a very large boy half sitting- half lying on a fancy brown leather sofa. The boy sticks out a stubby finger resembling a sausage and plays with the beam as though it consists of substance instead of air. In front of him the television is set on Cartoon Network, but the fact that he is not even paying attention to the channel indicates that he has probably already seen this episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy before.

"Oliver! Please come and take your shoes up to your room? They shouldn't be lying here in the passage!" Oliver's mom yells from the kitchen between the sound of a spoon being tapped against a pot. "I will just now mom! I am watching my program!" Oliver says before giving a great big yawn at the thought of how strenuous the task of walking all the way up the stairs would be. He decides to lie down on the couch completely, but quickly sits up again after feeling the gravity of his big stomach hanging over the edge of the sofa pulling him down.

"Nevermind I'll just do it then." Oliver's mother says as she comes marching into the passage with her perfectly neat bob-cut hair bouncing off her shoulders. After a while of flipping through numerous channels and changing them constantly, Oliver hears his mother shout, "Dinner's ready!" Without thinking twice Oliver manages to pull himself up off te couch as quickly as a boy carrying three hundred pounds of weight can and manages to almost run to the kitchen he eagerly awaits his plate of food. "Little bit more please mom?" He says while hungrily eyeing the spoon whih is topped full of mashed potatoe. "Is that enough dear?" She asks after dishing a mountain of the mash into the plate. "Just a little bit more please," Oliver replies. "Like that?" Oliver's mom says as she dishes another spoon onto the mountain peak. "Just a littl-" Oliver begins to say before being interrupted by his mother, "I haven't even dished any meat balls and gravy for you yet! You can always have seconds if that is not enough, if there are any seconds left."

"Aww mommy, but i'm so hungry but okay. Thank you i'll get seconds later then." Oliver says before returning to the living room to eat his beautiful heap of pure starch and protein.