I just got a message telling me that I was wrong, and the message was right. I suppose I will log off now.

Or will I? I wonder why I no longer know what I have in my own mind, from time to time. It suddenly started going blank right in the middle of weaving a complex blob of nonesee that has anything to do with geopolitics.

Oh, it must just be anxiety. I'll stand in direct exposure to high intensity radiation, and then I will feel calmer, just by being closer to the energy information.

This is reading like scripts of affirmations from self-help CDs published by diabolical gardeners.

And, with this Key, you unlock Our knowledge. One for the fans! I didn't just export encryption technology by posting a message to a member of the Union that is next to the place where the other, old Union used to be, did I?

It is so important to a citizen to obey, and be clear. Don't ask me why, useful people seem to appreciate it.

I guess I'll have to go back to watching the news. Oh, yeah, that fertilizer plant explosion!

Nothing about it, not anywhere! lol! Man, shit just happens, I guess.

How could you have not seen this coming?

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

This place used to be like this: I would login and start writing, and there would be cheers of appreciation. "jaffed! jaft! jade!" they would cry.

Then, one day, my star fell. I actually do not recall the supposed event. It was something, I believe, completely inconsequential. In response, I went on a warpath against all evil spirits. Also 3D Realms. 3DReams? Oh, whichever, your branding came late, because you were, at best, the ones who coded Rise of the Triad.

Or, you know, whatever. Paraphrase! Art licence! Now, I know that I am not such a one any longer.

My star has gone beyond nova. Do not ask me how I know this. I do not know, but I were to be asked, I would be granted the information from beyond the aetheric veil.

So now, those days long gone, I am well aware that most of you Crap Perusers are not even still living on the planets of your births, and even more aware that most of you reading this are going to be like... "huh?"

Oh, wait, I mean, most of you reading this are going to be like, not at all, because we don't read jafd posts.

Yeah, this is my Western Empire of Whatever. So please, if you would, or could, when you see that there is no one here except my oh-so-pathetic keyboard banging and my patently absurd attempts to use guerilla numerological hashes for purposes they were never meant for, please, be kind.

I am beginning to feel like I am laying on the polite prose a little too thick. Also, it seems to be the case that there really are not very many people here, and certainly, IT WOULD SEEM, no one who wishes to see me increase my visibility level.

I could not give less of a planet's worth crap now, however. I'm not saying you all have got to kiss my ass for being here (big deal, people come and go), or to be absurd about how to utilize the new technology, because I have already had my feelings hurt.

They'll recover. Meanwhile, your intrusion attempt has been halted, binned, and logged. I think I could get a script that does that without me typing but typing "halted, binned, and logged" feels really good to my heart.

Also, Morn? I have clicked quite eagerly on your link to 25peeps.com, probably about fifty times. I wish to let you know; I cannot do it anymore, I simply cannot observe your disgusting and pathetic ethical practices.

You can clean this up. I would recommend doing so. I will not recommend anything, however, as there must be some reason that no one loves anything or anyone here anymore.

... was it me? Remarkably, I rather doubt it. Meanwhile, note above: lwf either didn't notice the entirety of the technology grant from earlier, or simply hasn't bothered to consider as fact, no more war. In the meantime, note that for the largest part, I log in, I start writing, I spread joy and love to the whole of the world.

I know, I know, some of you think I am lying. I get that a lot, you know. Usually from bitches who want me to kick down, over and over and over. Wait, wait. Not bitches. What's the other one again? I'm going to have to abandon all use of rhetorical questions, because this writing is suffering.

It is nice to re-embrace our past. Yelling JAFD in a crowded theater is now grounds for dismissal. Thanks, Gabe! Hey, does your wife still remember me from that first night we talked?

Feel that sting between that feeling of being insulted, and not quite remembering a real thing? That's pride. It is fucking with you.

Thanks... uh, who? Well, whatever, you know who you are. I do not, and that has made all the difference.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

Ah, shit, I overflowed that one. I am truly sorry, my flawless record is finished.

Read it, if anyone likes. I really don't know what any of these things can actually be said to be saying by the time I hit the Post button, but I am sure at discrete moments in the process, the numbers and letters are being agitated.

I won't be able to update my email address here until Morn consents, and I am not sure when that might happen. I was honestly considering finding a local... girl? Anyway, someone, get on that China box.

I actually hate that name, "China." It reminds me of offensive times.

Also, please do not call this a comeback. "Peeps." I hadn't planned on setting up shop, and now, will not, and I'm rather surprised, considering the massive amount of open space available, at rock-bottom prices.

Would you like to know why? Becuase, you lied. YOU LIED. Shit, dog, I got two of those! Now, imagine the consequence to lying TO ME.

Okay, stop imagining. None of you are even close. My secret is, no one has ever seen me mad. Also, I don't know who is looking for me, but I badly wish to see her.

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

I'll admit that I actually read all of that. I got most of the references but had to look a few up. Jafd is pretty well-read, even if a lot of it is concentrated on pseudo-science, science-fiction, and conspiracy theories.

G-Man: I would not know if there is something better for you to be doing with your life, but I assure you, I really did not dare to hope that you really do get... you know, compensated for monitoring this site.

Thank you for your service. Also, you should know that one of The Powers prevented me from posting here, the very lengthy thing I wrote, just for you.

That's not, like... obstruction, is it? Well, whatever, obstruction of jafd's id is its own reward.

I'd check in with the people, if I were you, because even I am quite surprised. Apparently that "greasemonkey script" doesn't work so well in a thread titled "Thinking..."

(I really only come here when impelled by A Power, but... thanks guys, I really appreciate all your clandestinely held approvals of my very nature.)

Consider the victory lap I'm gonna take one day... it's going to be a very exclusive event. I mean, I wasn't even going to, but I sure as shit did not come to PlanetCrap just to fart.

I came here because I love you all, and because the mental driver in my head tells me that I should not forget about any of you. Shrug. I don't care. If it hadn't told me that this was the last time for this site, I wouldn't be here at all.

Ironically, I am sure all but one of you think I'm just here for attention. Sigh. Now I know how Van Gogh feels. Felt. Whichever.

No, Morn, it's not safe yet: SHHH!

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

I feel like I just found a sequence breaking method in Super Metroid (SNES) that no one has found before.

What are the odds? Well, I'll either practice it and "claim it," or tell other people and let someone else "claim it" or I'll pass it along to someone else, and let them "enhance it."

I choose Elon Musk. Who is that guy? I should have been on his forum twenty years ago. Why didn't that happen?

Well, whatever*, someone just put up "The Official Forum of The Official Inspiration for The Character of Tony Stark," throw up a paywall, and we're in business!

In business dealing with very angry South African gem and mineral magnates, but, you know, whatever. There's like at least two dozen splinter groups vying for transnational power now... take your pick!

Or, of course, GTA V. Or, of course, not have yet figured out that if one knows jafd, and one is not right with jafd, one is in a bad way. There's exactly THREE people that I'm tight with IRL from this site, and two of them are in denial, and the third, well... everytime I think to myself, "what the hell, did I really waste all that fucking time?" this girl is right there to remind me that I was right all along, and what happened, doesn't matter.

Well, I guess it does matter, because the last post I made that "didn't matter" got... intercepted!

Like it could just be Morn, editting in real time. Or not. Or whatever. It's definitely "a thing," though.

God, I love Morn's things. I hope Morn's secret dream is to rescue the world from Facebook, because I think he actually could!

And that's something I could help with, of course. Consider how much I annoyed the lot of you, without even trying. What if I had any actual clever skills, and what if I was motivated to use them?

Is it treason to attack Facebook, or is that just gay-bashing? Or would it be stalking? Would it be cyber-stalking? It wouldn't be, say, an attack against, say, some kind of government, because OF COURSE Facebook isn't the government, it's just, like that kid, and a bunch of citizens who were ripped off.

I don't know that one either, but now that I've been censored, I guess someone will have to care about it.

Seriously, troopers, I wrote this post that went like this: "I will never post like this again, here's why" and then when I hit "post," it... vanished.

I guess it was because I was thought to be lying? No idea. It couldn't be due to the presence of chaos magick, because that's just a story, ho ho ho. I'll prove this by only using that on another site, and never using it on another, and ignoring it on this one.

This sounds like a whole lot of work, so it is a good thing I am not doing shit besides being a nuisance. And I couldn't be involved--I get lost on the way to the pre-school by taking a wrong turn at the air force yard.

I really don't think it works that way, but I am trying to make various search algorithms trigger on a false-positive, sort of, you dig? Anyway I think the last one really got Clippy's attention.

I'm not mad, but... if that wasn't Morn, and it wasn't Gabe, I don't know who it was. And, in response to your private dreams... it is nothing to do with me.

Keep sitting on those archives, Morn! Valuable in ways I cannot imagine. You should see what is happening over here as a result of my interaction with you.

Have you ever heard of... Skype? I don't know, I think it is a fad.

(I liked the other post better, my friend. You are welcome for this favor. YOU NOW OWE ME ONE.)

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

"Hi! We've noticed that you've accidentally left your construction open to influence and corruption by... well, whatever. Did you mean to do that? Fix it or we will haunt your daydreams, thanks... oh, you did already, thank you, enjoy the rest of your hallucinogenic fantasy, et cetera."

So glad I never finished those books, sat through the films, bought into the concept of "an ending," and grew up.

So, any of you friends with her? I heard she was lonely, no one understands her, has children that are rapidly flying out of her control, and... I don't know, posting on the Internet under a pseudonym, I guess.

Good thing it isn't here or you eagle-eyes would have been all... over... that... right? Or maybe it is only aliens. Or ETs. Or boys. Or Nazis?

OH SHIT GODWIN'S LAW OBLIVION

"You've just defined what's rude for everyone, not just you. Thanks, I needed help with that."- Matt P

by the way, Morn, I do not know if you remember, but, I have only gotten sorrier over the years, so please hear me clearly here:

I am very sorry for inadvertently hurting your feelings when I was asking you those personal questions about your nationality. It was unkind of me to be so callous, simply because of my own disdain for my own nation.

I asked someone later, and they were all, "omg! you totally pissed him off. You are a stupid American, and are hated all over the world for a reason." And I was all, "hey, fuck you! I meant well, I was just asking!" And then they were all like, "somethings, one should not ask about."

So I moved forward, resolving to be more polite to Germans when asking about their past national embarassment, and still not quite figuring it out, because, after all, I am not German.

There's this other guy, too--I asked him "Why is there no King? Did he die? How can you have a Queen without a King? For that matter, how can you have a King without a Queen? These logical absurdi... hey, wait, where did he go? I thought the English believed in that "chosen by God" thing... don't they?"

And, prior to all that, I asked this Hindu woman, on the bus, about the red dot on her forehead. I was all, "hey, excuse me, what's that red mark all about? is it important? blah blah blah blah!" With her, I didn't give much of a shit, because as soon as I made it clear, that I wanted to know, she made it clear, that she thought I was just lying, and messing with her, for why? I don't know. I never know why people do it to me, I simply know why I do it.

Because, it was done to me.

Yeah, so, anyway, Morn--loving the security you got. It is highly impressive. Have you considered ever licencing this tech?

And, to be sure, I am really going to be not bothering you anymore. My first post was inspired, and the second one was just to test your script, and, I tested them.

You're welcome. I am so happy to be a part of your beta test, which obviously is ongoing for as long as you say "Planetcrap 7.0, coming soon. Now with more poop!"

Maybe you've taken that off, but whatever. I only come to this site now, because I love you, and when I am driven to go anywhere, this place was #1 in my heart, and has been for decades.

Obviously things are different now. You deleted TWO of my messages! You let me post DOZENS of others! You allowed poor G-Man, poor guy, you allowed him to be afflicted with my madness!

Which is all fine! So... what was wrong with the other two? Too long? Really? Or did they... contain sensitive information?

I am honestly asking. You could let me know. Or not.

The choice, as never before, has been left up to you.

I remain, yours, as always
simply and delightfully, just another friendly Dischordian. The 'd' is silent. The 'f' has always been the constant.

Rouse me from my IRL slumber cautiously, I warn ye. Ye? Ye are warned! I'm not aware of any magickal influences in this post, so, it is not like I am threatening anyone.

Oh, except for that one guy. Someone told me something about how I was never going to amount to anything, or I wasn't going to succeed, or... fuck, I forget.

It reminds me of this guy I asked for help from, and he ignored me completely, and then when Libya flipped, he went to go... who knows? He said "to help his family" but even if so, whatever? The fact that he had to give a reason at all was rather weird.

Oh, and the way he vanished without a word was odd, too. Maybe he died? Awwww. Maybe he went to work for the new secret police? Well, that would suck too... unless I happen to meet him in Libya.

highly, highly unlikely. However, it is even more unlikely that Morn is pissed at me because he thinks I'm racist against Germans, or am a crazed-Nazi-hater, or, even worse, one of those crazed-Nazi-lovers... because, damn, the world is full of nutters.

He may simply have been pissed that I found it to be a sign of pride that I was largely ignorant of the global political issues that I was asking him about, when I really had to business to, but, to be fair, the guy is going on about Crap and Poop and there's this one stereotype, so...

Well, whatever. I've moved on. I would like to know why Jeet was banned that day... hell, I would like to know why anyone was banned that day. That day was so much fun, I forgot how horrible it was!

And, of course... well, you know, 12 years later, anyone who did not have someone they -personally- know, who died on that day, can shut the fuck up, omg, omg.

I don't know about the rest of you Bud swillers, but after building that absurd new building, you would thought they would have counted their blessings... but no, 9/11, 12 years later, and they were just about ready to trigger another... PlanetCrap IRC party.

AND OBVIOUSLY THAT COULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. RIGHT?

So mad at you, Morn! So angry! Grrrr! On the bright side, I forgive you!

Also, if there were something else wrong with my posts, besides, you know, length, your secret is safe with me. No one is going to ask me any questions about what I post here.

You guys know there are other forums where I could do this, right? So, consider this truth: I only do it here. And even I do not know why.

My dad bought a new computer and I helped install it. It was my first contact with Windows 8.

First off its about half a day to update everything to 8.1, so that's fun. The computer pretty much just sits there with a progress bar. With that done I then thought to stay with standard apps as much as possible, so I jumped into Internet Explorer. But it is seriously insanity to browse the web using the metro mode! It's a weird toy browser that I keep fumbling when operating multiple tabs, or even multitask back after looking at other apps. I like iOS Safari fine, but this one is a totally mystery to me.

It's easy to realize life can't be lived purely in Metro anyway, because it doesn't support java and programs like Word is desktop only. So if my dad has to fall into desktop for some things then I might as well give him Chrome, at least it's Metro mode looks like its desktop counterpart.

With Chrome installed things are instantly better, no longer constantly fidgeting and cursing every time I go to the web.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you.":: - FML

Anyway, so I'm pretty critical at this point. And my dad is not great with computers so I had my doubts.

But we sit down for him to use it for the first time and I was blown away by how well he took to it. The ability to hit the Windows button at any time to get back to the tiles is great, it provides a real sense of safety that there's a simple button that always goes back. And he took to the Metro mail app, where attachments are easy to manage. The larger text is nice too. All in all I'm super happy to see it being a better "dad computer".

In a more professional capacity I think how Windows 8 mixes modes together is totally hopeless, they mesh together incredibly awkwardly. But seeing my dad actually *less* frustrated than what he was used to with XP is really cool, so I'm ready to say Windows 8 is great in that context.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you.":: - FML