July 2015

And one year to the day, we were given results from Baby’s ultrasound that sadly mimic Abigail’s diagnosis. I had an ultrasound done on Tuesday and it showed that my amniotic fluid levels are in the 2.5 percentile (0 is none). There are other concerns that need to be confirmed by more detailed ultrasounds at Mac Master. I am currently waiting for that appointment to be scheduled.

At this point we have not shared this heartbreaking news with our boys … Christopher has been in California since Sunday and will not be home until Saturday night. We hope to have more concrete information for them and wish to tell them together.

To be very honest, I am shell shocked, unbelievably angry that we have to face this again and devastated. The walk down this soul crushing road is much too recent in my memory and I have been struggling with how to cope. Our boys have been a delightful distraction and I treasure my gift to mother them.

To answer one of the questions that I anticipate … we were given the green light to try again in March as the consensus among our medical team was that Abigail was considered a lightening strike. This appears to not be true and brings concern as to what defective DNA has been contributed to our beautiful boys. We will be pursuing DNA testing.

As I wrote a very similar message a year ago, I reiterate … I am a very hurt person, but I am still Wendy. I need you, dear friends, like I truly never have before. Please don’t worry about what to say. I don’t know what to say. This sucks. That’s the most PG way that I can articulate what is happening. I love you all!