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Wednesday, May 09, 2018

Tribe Life Tuesday: The Art of Standing Tall

A weekly post from my childhood to grown-up friend Carrie ~

sharing her awesome life and her desire to have community while doing it!

Welcome to TribeLife Tuesday!

I am so thrilled to have you here this week and I hope you leave feeling inspired and lighthearted. Here in the tribe, burdens are laid down and hope is picked up. So if you’re feeling tired, worn out, or burdensome, pull up a chair and let’s chat.

We have all been created with some pretty killer gifts that are designed to be shared with the world. Seeking out, identifying, and then standing tall in them is a beautiful process that I want to invite you into today.

I have a tendency to go from 0 to 100 and then I crash. I am a huge proponent of giving something your all honestly every project and/or job I do I give my all and then some. But at the end of “all and then some” I’m burnt out, run down, and even a bit angry. And I have no one to blame but myself. So there I was, on more than one occasion, pissed off because I was being “taken advantage of” but I had allowed the taking to happen. Actually, I handed over all of my time and energy for the devouring.

Realizing I had just sprinted a marathon, I crossed the finish line blistered, bruised, and broken. I was laying flat on my face with nothing left--no willpower and no energy, dreading the idea of being on my feet again.

Looking back, I've had many of these moments over the years. But why? What was the lesson I wasn’t learning?

After a lot of soul-searching, more pain than I cared to experience, and time, I finally realized the common thread between each experience. The truth is, I allowed myself to be buried under the guise of “polishing my craft”. I was putting all my time and energy into trying to be the best at this "thing" when all along I was just trying to figure how to be the best me. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with giving something your all, I just have to be careful that it doesn’t turn into all of who I am. Because, at the end of every day, people just want you! And our spouses, kids, parents, and friends deserve the best of who we are.

So how do we unravel this mystery of us? Well, it’s a mystery for a reason. You can’t solve a mystery without discovery and, in this case, self-discovery.

According to the dictionary, self-discovery is the process of acquiring insight into one's own character. I would add that it's choosing to see yourself as good in the face of all your strengths and all your weaknesses. This, friends is HUGE! And this is where I tend to get stuck.

In all my “polishing”, I allowed who I was to get away from me. Which led me to stand in rooms, engage in conversations, and sit at tables regurgitating the practiced, polished me. There were parts of that girl that were oh so real and authentic, just not entirely present. Standing tall became next to impossible while I was buried under the weight of the me I thought others wanted to see.

Have you ever walked into a room or into a conversation where you felt inferior? What did it feel like? Look like? Smell like?

I have had a few of those moments along my way and they’re just gross. I remember feeling terrible, like all I wanted to do was hide. And then the mind games ensued.

In those moments, no matter how someone treats you, you have the opportunity to stand tall. Even if they don’t see your value, you don’t have to bury yourself under their judgment. It’s in those moments when the progress you have made on your self-discovery journey show up and out! You own who you are and rise up in the face of the inferiority mind game.

So practically how do we stand tall when all we want to do is shrink down?

Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.

Repeat after me, "I am full of grace and I am worthy."

Grab a sheet of paper and fold it down the middle so you have two columns. One the left side, write down 3 things you can improve. On the right side, write down 7 ways you are nailing it!

Over the next 30 days repeat steps 1 & 2 every morning and evening. Work on improving your 3 weaknesses and take time to celebrate your strengths! Take yourself out for coffee or do a victory dance—whatever floats your boat, do that!

It may feel weird in the beginning, believe me, I KNOW, but you are worth the self-care.

Remember, this process is not always easy and takes a TON of willpower. But you are worth it, so put your shoulders back, hold your head high, and let’s do this.