i don’t think it’s anything anyone would argue with that. hell, i’ve said it many times. you can read about it in the “natural game” post. most of the site’s touch on this. but it’s interesting hearing a woman put it out there. i’ve had bloggers and friends ask me if women get put-off by my mentioning i know and use game. and the answer is always the same: NO. game is simply rooted in confidence and outcome independence. but enough of my jibber-jabber, check out ST’s post. her blog is REALLY good. well, for a gerl. lol.

Nothing. lol. He came up to me at his party and said that. I knew/know that he likes me. Before this he spent months staring into my eyes. i don’t know if it was liquid courage or what but he said that. I don’t remember my response exactly (this was 4 months ago and I am still thinking about it), but I eventually said fine alright I won’t talk anymore and he kind of looked dumbfounded that I caved and didn’t get all crazy defensive. That’s how I knew it was a neg also he doesn’t know me well enough to know if I am evil or not.

I know him socially (same career path). I was invited to the party by his best friend…so?

Sondra-
hmmmmm. i’m going out on a limb here and guessing he’s not all that good with women. “staring into your eyes” for MONTHS. it MIGHT have been liquid courage. are you an attractive woman? a lot of guys deliver a decent line and freeze up when a woman responds. it happens.

i’d ask him what he meant by the comment. if you like the guy, be cool about it, but be up front. keep me posted.

That is not a neg, that is merely a guy who doesn’t really know what to say to you and lacks social intelligence. Here is an example of a neg:

Me to girl: “Where did you get that jacket?”
Her: “J Crew”
Me: “Oh, I was going to guess J C Penney…well at least I got the J part right.”
(then she playfully called me a dick, therefore I was successful)

This incident happened last year in like August. I have seen him many times since then and the adorning eye contact has gone to him acting embarrassed and shy to even look at me let alone say a basic hello. Someone said his ego was hurt, because I didn’t respond the way he wanted (i.e. the eye contact was his signaling that he was/is interested and yet I am suppose to go over to him and start a conversation? yeah no. I just stare right back like I see you looking?). I have never had a real conversation with this guy even though we know of each other socially and his personal friends have been move friendly to me than him, so I agree with you on the social intelligence.

At this point it would be weird to bring up the unspoken incident that happen months ago? Like I said it’s hard to even get him to say hello…last time I did he said it back with sad puppy dog eyes. I could tell something was bothering him. But he won’t talk to me so? I guess just forget it.

Sondra-
1- he didn’t approach. 2- when he finally DID approach it was a half assed attempt to be allof. fawing over a girl from afar is spineless.

and YES, it would be pointless to bring it up now. he has killed your tingle (if you had any before). he needs to grow a sack and make a move. trust me, he’ll do something like this again with another girl.

It is unfortunate that shows like ‘Jersey Shore’ give the impression that women are just as visual as men, i.e. attracted by the physical attributes of men.

It took me a long time to figure out that in fact these are simply immature women!
When a woman looks like a man and sees a ‘king’ it is NOT for what he looks like, I have now worked out.

He may be good looking, yes. But that is not evidence of his masculinity. His accomplishments are what matters, either present or potential.
That includes how he displays that he is master of his own destiny, physically as well as mentally/psychologically.
As per the film ‘Invictus’, he is captain of his own soul.
THAT is what attracts a mature woman…

I think it’s a shame it took me such a long time to figure this out. But still, better late than never, eh?
🙂

@ Cadence,

Sorry to hear you had trouble commenting! Any tips to improve things would be welcome 😉

and i linked your post because it’s absolutely true. the proof in what you’re saying is: ME!!!!!! i’m not “tall, dark and handsome”. at best i’m “short, pale and mediocre”. but i know that none of that really matters. what works for me is rock-solid confidence and the ability to make a woman laugh and feel at ease. i look for IOI’s and escalate when appropriate.

Depends on if you like cats or not. A lot of women are waiting longer and longer to get married in order to get the perfect finished product of a man. The response from many men caught up in this mindset seems to be ,”Forget it.” By the time they “arrive”, without your help or emotional support, why would they want or need you now?

Mahal- but attraction is ALWAYS subjective. i’m not into blondes. i’ve always been that way. i prefer dark-haired woman. does it mean blondes are unattracive, of course not.

that’s why i refuse to tell women i meet/date what i like in a woman. i want her to be herself so i can determine if we gel or not. obviously she’s pretty enough for me if i’m a date with her. but the other stuff….i need to keep my eye open and asses if she’s a good match for me.

I can think of a guy that hit me the way she describes. He was absolutely stunning physically, but then he started talking and my brain went, “(gasp!) He’s eloquent and smart and funny and asdhjfdlgdagleepbloopheeheehee.”
There’s an awful lot to be said for raw intelligence coupled with a very easy self-controlled manner–my way of describing the “apartness” she mentions.