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The Best Advent Service Ever

Posted by admin on Jun 19th, 2013 in

The Best Advent Service Ever

It was a dark and stormy night. The pastor was found dead in the sacrasty. He had drunk himself to death on communion wine. It looked like it was forced down his throat. We found out because a blood curdling scream had echoed through the church just as the service was starting. It was Mrs. Schlake. The doors suddenly slammed shut in front of the church. We were locked inside. The organ let out a screech. We ran up to the balcony and found Mr. Rotermund slumped over the organ. He had been impaled with an acolyte stick. We heard a shreak from across the church. Mrs. Trapp had screamed, and was now hanging from the cross, and three liitle demons were throwing eggs at her. Another was lighting members of the congregation on fire with the Christ candle and the remaining wine. A dark shadow was dismembering the children and putting them back together again in a different order. A mini devil was throwing communion wafters like chinese stars and beheading someone every time! What a shot he was! Suddenly the front wall burst open and Mrs. Trapp fell off the cross. It fell off the wal also, impaling several members on the way down. The wall crumbled, and in swung a person on a vine! It was hard to make out who it was at first, because of the flying robes. But after careful cross-examination, we found that it was Judge Judy!!! She convicted all of the devils of first degree murder and the cross of manslaughter. She had them all hauled off to prison and the cross she had cut into pieces and brought home for fire wood. Afterwords she gave us all an autographed photo, but there was still more to come. The devil appeared and she cross-examined him. He told her he had nothing to do with this and she told him this: “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”