Monday, November 5, 2012

Tweet
I posed the question on Twitter this morning and it got a metric butt ton of response, so now I'm bringing the topic over to the bolg for a comprehensive, scientific polling exercise to get us a definitive answer. The candidates are introduced below, with a few pertinent notes on each.

Darren McCord (Sudden Death)

Do you remember this debacle? The Vice President gets taken hostage at a Penguins Stanley Cup Finals game and Jean-Claude Van Damme not only saves the day and blows up the Igloo and gets into a death match with their mascot (who tries to jam McCord's face into a lunch meat slicer) but also takes the ice as the goalie and stops a penalty shot? Yeah.

Also, this flick was part of one of my favorite things ever- Sarah Baicker and Dan McQuade's Lockout Movie Night.

Julie "The Cat" Gaffney (D2: The Mighty Ducks)

I'll let Disney Wiki explain: "Coach Bombay put in her in the goal in the first match-up against Iceland to give Goldberg a break. However, she is thrown out of the game when she kicks 2 of the Iceland players in the shins for insulting her abilities as a girl. Her reputation as "The Cat" is cemented when she stops Iceland's Gunner Stahl's shot to give the Ducks the championship in the Junior Goodwill Games."

Goldberg the Goalie (The Mighty Ducks Series)

Dude, he's Goldberg! Has to be a favorite in this competition. Kid's hilarious, mouthy, and FROM PHILADELPHIA. Yes, please. Also- look at that outfit.

Heaver (Youngblood)

Frankly, Heaver makes me laugh whenever I see him on-screen because he has that big dumb Keanu Reeves emptyheaded look on his face the entire movie and I don't even think he ever gets to talk but Youngblood rules and Peter Zezel (RIP) is in it so there you go.

The Thunder Bay Bombers Goalie (Youngblood)

For those of you who haven't seen Youngblood, the Bombers represent everything that's great about 80s movie villainy. Movie bad guy Karl Racki plays for them. Their coach is a skuzzbucket. Their fans are violent cowards. And the goalie looks like that! What a mask. LOVE YOU THUNDER BAY BOMBERS. Seriously the only thing missing from their roster was William Zabka.

Hanrahan (Slap Shot)

There's no way I could explain this cleanly so just watch this and die of laughter. (Warning: Most NSFW- and crude- ever)

Denis Lemieux (Slap Shot)

I'm not even going to pretend to be impartial he gets my vote and was the impetus behind this whole thing because when I got to work this morning I said "My allergy to this f***ing place, it has returned". The guy just kills it every scene he's in, and contributes to Slap Shot being one of my favorite movies ever.

This just made my day. Laughed my ass off at the entire thing. Love the Thunder Bay Bombers' goalie mask. Lemieux is the man. I probably had to watch the first scene of Slapshot at least 40 times, the first time I saw it, as I was pissing my pants with laughter. This was a great read. Cheers.