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TrueHater on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166384
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 01:13:20 +0000TrueHater166384@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>You win TrueBiscuit, you are definitely the funniest troll I've ever come across... you know, like as funny as your initials were in the 1800s.</p>
<p>Sorry to hear about yo momma... not sure why you were present to hear her final muffled words. Close family I guess.
</p>The All New Jeni B on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166380
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:41:47 +0000The All New Jeni B166380@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>"'Yo Momma' Here we have the most middle class Gangsta . Word up what what"</p>
<p>That made me laugh so much I coughed myself into an asthma attack.
</p>Truebiscuit on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166379
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:39:00 +0000Truebiscuit166379@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Piss funny. 14 years ago.</p>
<p>My mother's dead, you sick fucker. Suffocated on a really tiny penis. Her last words were 'at least his head wear is realistic'.</p>
<p>'His jokes are shit, but his hat is real enough.'
</p>Perks on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166378
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:38:05 +0000Perks166378@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>'Yo Momma' Here we have the most middle class Gangsta . Word up what what
</p>TrueHater on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166377
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:34:35 +0000TrueHater166377@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>The last person who asked me to slap it in was yo momma.
</p>Truebiscuit on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166374
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:28:46 +0000Truebiscuit166374@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Wow, boringly accurate observation Truehatter! Why not slap it in at paragraph 4? It's no less enthralling than the fucker that's loitering there at the minute.
</p>TrueHater on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166373
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:25:45 +0000TrueHater166373@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>And there's me thinking only Ipsos MORI could run their own polls. </p>
<p>But alas no, because the Gartner and Forrester research I just conducted showed that 8 out of 10 people hate trolls.... no wait, the other two people also in fact hate trolls.
</p>Truebiscuit on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166372
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:11:09 +0000Truebiscuit166372@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Piss funny Truehatter. </p>
<p>I just ran a MORI poll: of 297,000 people asked, one laughed a bit. But he had a visible head injury, so we told him to fuck off.
</p>youbuyitnow on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166371
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:05:18 +0000youbuyitnow166371@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Humour available cheap!
</p>TrueHater on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166370
Wed, 06 Mar 2013 00:01:45 +0000TrueHater166370@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>No, you didn't detect any humour on the grounds that you wouldn't know it if you fell over it.
</p>Truebiscuit on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166366
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:44:20 +0000Truebiscuit166366@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Good idea AReader. Perhaps list another 237 potential Popes, all with the same basically factual and completely unentertaining bio?</p>
<p>I thought I detected some humour in para 3: might be worth editing that out.
</p>AReader on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166362
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:39:52 +0000AReader166362@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I thought it was amusing but needs plumping.
</p>Truebiscuit on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166360
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:35:23 +0000Truebiscuit166360@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Is it too late to make it funny?
</p>Oxbridge on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166356
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 23:27:23 +0000Oxbridge166356@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Yeah, same old star nicking. The gag is meant to be the same every time, but that may or may not work depending on your POV. Plenty of scope for change, had I not left it too late...!
</p>beau-jolly on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166303
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:22:29 +0000beau-jolly166303@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p><blockquote>gay does not equal paedophile</blockquote> While this is true it does not mean that gay paedophiles (as suggested) do not exist. The two are not mutually exclusive. You never hear about choir <em>girls</em> being abused though, do you?</p>
<p>I'm sure I left a load of stars here. Has someone nicked them?
</p>Scroat on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166298
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:31:10 +0000Scroat166298@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>John O'Farrell?
</p>Titus on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166296
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 16:26:06 +0000Titus166296@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Might be scope for suggesting that there are differences within the church between doctrinal priority of paedophilia or homosexuality. Perhaps "Cardinals split over relative merits of child marriage and gay marriage".
</p>Carter on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166287
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:42:48 +0000Carter166287@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Needs some variety perhaps. The gag is the same for each cardinal. Also gay does not equal paedophile, this comes Daily Mailishly close to saying that it does.
</p>beau-jolly on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166281
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:14:08 +0000beau-jolly166281@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Is "firm opponent of gay marriage" now an accepted euphemism along the lines of "light on his feet", or indeed "flamboyant"?</p>
<p>Very nice peice. Possibly a bit too urbane? You may want to slip a couple of knob gags in.
</p>Oxbridge on "Who Will be Pope? NewsBiscuit's Guide to the Contenders"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=57375#post-166278
Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:57:10 +0000Oxbridge166278@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>As the College of Cardinals gathers in Rome to elect the successor to Pope Benedict XVI, speculation is rife about who will be the next man to steer the ship of the Catholic Church through troubled times and also about how his style may differ from that of his sometimes controversial predecessors. Bookies across the world are quoting odds. The leading contenders are the following:</p>
<p>Cardinal Giancarlo Correzzano (8/1): The Archbishop of Bologna is a doctrinal conservative whose grand passion in life is church music. A firm opponent of gay marriage, he has conducted a large number of boys' choirs in the great cathedrals of Italy in a career that saw him revive the castrati tradition as he moved from parish to parish no less than 12 times at intervals of two to three years.</p>
<p>Cardinal Giulio di Santo (10/1): Elevated only recently to the hot seat at Milan, this doctrinal conservative is regarded as a potential compromise choice. He lacks charisma but is an able administrator and, in the words of one observer, 'a consummate Vatican insider'. A firm opponent of gay marriage, Di Santo has been described as 'a safe pair of hands' by most, though not all of those who know him well.</p>
<p>Cardinal Joseph Acheampong (5/1 F): Could this be the time for an African Pope? Nigerian-born Acheamoong is a renowned preacher but a doctrinal conservative whose hard-line approach on matters of sexual morality could split some parts of the congregation. A firm opponent of gay marriage, he has not hesitated to lay down the line to his flock in Lagos.</p>
<p>Cardinal Jean-Louis Fontaine (12/1): The Archbishop of Reims is widely seen as a stalking horse for the modernising elements within the Church, though doctrinally he is highly conservative. If elected, he is likely to bring his long-time assistant, the flamboyant Charles Guegnot, with him to Rome. Fontaine taught theology at the Sorbonne for many years, where he was a firm opponent of gay marriage.</p>
<p>Cardinal Gerald Sweeney (20/1): Ireland has never provided a Pope before and some believe the witty, urbane and doctrinally conservative Archbishop of Cork could be the man. A seminarian for nearly 15 years, Sweeney left behind a reputation as a firm disciplinarian yet a kindly, avuncular figure who would always find time for a private chat with any troubled young priests in his care. He is understood to be a firm opponent of gay marriage.</p>
<p>Hat tip to whoever did the 'seminal' gag.
</p>