Do you have copious amounts of free time? I'm sure you do - who doesn't? Here's the deal. I don't actually like any other forums because I find that I make an account, make 1-2 posts, follow it until I have my answer, and then forget about it entirely. This forum is literally always open on my right monitor... Oh, and the little fact that you guys are actually helpful instead of the whole 'did you search Google?' crap.

I don't know how many of you are programers, and of those who are, which languages you use. Fortunately, I'm not actually positive what I need (and neither are any of the people on other forums).
So, here's some backstory. If you don't want to read it, I suggest skipping to the red text.

For the last four years I've been dedicated to producing a crazy-sick-nasty-awesome RPG. For those of you wondering, here's my official statement on it:

Elition is a real-time, role-playing game, played from a bird's eye view that has been in development for almost 4 years. Elition offers many unique features that are all available with the initial purchase, though a multiplayer expansion may be available for purchase in the distant future. Elition features a unique combat system based heavily on constantly changing stats to add realism, without making the game unplayable.
The name 'Elition' comes from attaching the suffix -tion (to make or become; forming an action word) to the word Elite (the best in ones class) to make Elition, or the path to becoming elite.
Elition is also an economic experiment. $7.00 would be a reasonable price for a game with this level of detail on a mobile device, but could cost upward of $30.00 on a desktop computer. Despite being a game for a desktop, our starting price will be much closer to $7.00 than $30.00, and we are planning on having frequent sales.
We will likely be producing this game in C++ using the Unreal 4 engine, though that decision is not yet final. Unfortunately, due to many upcoming time constraints and prior commitments, Elition will likely not be released for several years yet. We're tentatively aiming to begin alpha testing in 2018.

My company (Arcturus Gaming) has, in the last year, actually begun development on 8 other games (most of which are clones) that we will be producing prior to producing Elition. Elition is my dream game, and I want it to be the best that we can make it. Of those 8 games, we will attempt to sell 3 of them. The others will be free access, kind of just to show people how we started, and some other ideas that we had.
As I mentioned in the official statement, I'm super proud of our combat system. I spent tons of time working that out to make it balance in theory. But now I need to test it, see if it balances in practice (Of the 9 games we have planned for the upcoming several years, 3 of them will be using this combat system, if slightly altered). So I decided to make a calculator that I could plug in the (seemingly excessive number of) variables into, and watch a simulation.
I've loved every minute of development for these games, but I'm actually really terrible at programming. All of it. I know the very basics of HTML, but many people don't even consider that a language. When I watch C#, C++, Javascript, Java, PHP, etc. tutorials, I understand why things are working the way they do - but I can't make them happen on my own.

So here's what I've done, and what I need:
I ultimately decided to make my calculator in HTML, as it's what I know the most of. I've created a form in which I can enter every variable that I need. Here's my biggest hiccup: One of these variables is attack speed. This game is real-time, and nearly every weapon has a different attack speed (nearly all in multiples of .4 seconds). I want this calculator to simulate combat between the two characters that I enter for 10 seconds. I want a description of every event that happens, and when it happens (in game, not when it's calculated) to appear on the web-page. Finally, every time damage is dealt, the values that I plugged into the form will need to be changed - some of them change when you take damage, and I want this to simulate that.

Every forum that I've visited asking for help or advice they basically just say 'Don't do that' or 'Have someone else do it for you'. The most helpful advice I've received is 'That would probably take some knowledge of server-side coding'. Man, I don't even know what that is. So if I were to hand over my form so far, is there anybody that would at least be willing to work with me through this?
Thanks a ton guys.

Have you considered using a spreadsheet like LibreOffice Calc or Excel? I did all of Eschalon's alpha work in a spreadsheet - you can easily build formulas and test out variables, even do rudimentary combat turns with scrips. You can literally turn it into a game if you are cleaver enough (I once played a spot-on version of Pac-Man done completely in Excel scripts. It was incredible.)

I had considered it, but ultimately ruled it out because I did not know the extend of its abilities. Thanks for the advice though, it sounds like this option is much more viable than I thought. I will certainly try that out.

Game Maker for HTML5 sounds ideal for what you need. You could head over to gmc.yoyogames.com and ask somebody (there is even a "Job offers" section) to cook something up for you. The end product will be an HTML5 page where combat can be simulated. Hell, you will be able to change every parameter on the fly.

Game maker rooms work with "speed", so you can have the simulation real time or have it happen 100 times faster just by changing the room speed in real-time.

The problem is, as you might ot might not suspect, finding someone who will do this for you for free. It's not that it's complicated, but it sounds time-consuming. So consider offering some small payment for an incentive.