tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56043432841841691492018-02-19T10:33:16.797-06:00WRITER, BLOGGER & NE'ER-DO-WELLSpeider Schneider - humor and hurtful wordsSpeider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-1064987226242085232011-11-22T15:10:00.001-06:002011-11-22T15:17:42.270-06:00Bribes of the Magi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We use to have to wait for Thanksgiving to be over for at least twenty seconds for the Christmas commercials to hit with full force. It seems, according to these commercials, I should get the woman in my life a diamond something-or-another while she gets me a power tool. That certainly makes sense…in the bizarro universe!<br />
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Published - 11.22.2011 - Read&nbsp;more&nbsp;at&nbsp;<a href="http://huffingtonpostunionofbloggers.org/2011/11/21/bribes-of-the-magi/">The&nbsp;Huffington&nbsp;Post</a></div>
</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/6G3GHJml0DY" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/11/bribes-of-magi.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-32632064186489953862011-11-21T00:14:00.001-06:002011-11-21T00:20:14.264-06:00The New Business Acumen: America’s Death Twitch<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As I’m now over 23-years old, I have been deemed, “unemployable” by American companies. Drawing on my strengths and above-average IQ, I started seeking work overseas, hoping the shifting global economy would outsource to a new third world nation. I have found many differences in doing business with foreign nations. They modeled themselves from the American business model of the 1950s: work hard, be honest, uphold family values and workers are worth more then just the future ingredients in Soylent Green.<br /><br />Published 10.24.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://huffingtonpostunionofbloggers.org/2011/10/24/the-new-business-acumen-america%E2%80%99s-death-twitch/">The Huffington Post</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/_fKyQ0DWeTQ" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com1http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/11/new-business-acumen-americas-death.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-20332483612487161942011-11-20T20:36:00.001-06:002011-11-20T22:11:11.801-06:00Peter Max: Peace, Love and Inspiration<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of my designer spotlights on noupe.com. To quote the subject, Peter Max:<br />
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Published 11.11.2011 - Read more at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.noupe.com/spotlight/peter-max-peace-love-and-inspiration.html">Noupe</a></div>
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Also read:</div>
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<a href="http://www.noupe.com/inspiration/paul-rand-will-change-your-life.html">Paul Rand Will Change Your Life!</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.noupe.com/design/josef-muller-brockmann-principal-of-the-swiss-school.html">Josef Müller Brockman: Principal Of The Swiss School</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.noupe.com/inspiration/getting-it-wrong-edward-fella.html">Getting It Wrong: Edward Fella</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.noupe.com/inspiration/seeing-the-negative-in-everything-charles-goslin.html">Seeing The Negative In Everything: Charles Goslin</a></div>
</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/XFA8rJUKXwo" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/11/peter-max-peace-love-and-inspiration.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-71448046749763386712011-10-01T15:30:00.001-05:002011-10-01T15:33:55.586-05:00Don’t Do TOO Good Of A Job!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Maybe this is happened to you. You’ve really nailed a project. You skip out of the client’s with a big smile because you’ve done the best work you have ever done. Months down the line, you haven’t heard a thing from the client and your emails are either not returned or they have cool salutations and don’t answer your question of when there might be another project. Either you’ve screwed something up or you’ve done such a stellar job that you’ve angered someone who hands out the freelance work. Believe it or not, it may be the latter. It’s not so odd… believe it or not! <br />
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Published 8.9.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://www.instantshift.com/2011/08/09/dont-do-too-good-of-a-job/">Instantshift</a></div>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/fJeip2fPc2c" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/10/dont-do-too-good-of-job.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-56943592842887428512011-09-24T18:16:00.002-05:002011-11-02T11:50:39.864-05:00Buy The Numbers...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of the things my clients enjoy is the numbers of reposts, tweets and Google returns my articles receive. Numbers are important in social media. The more people who see your message, the more hits, click-thrus and reposts means the most bang for your buck.<br />
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Buy my service as a writer for your publication, blog or ad and you get the numbers your want. You just don't buy the writing... you buy the numbers!<br />
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So... <a href="mailto:speiderschneider@gmail.com">hire me</a> and have your blog seen by at least a few people, here and there. Even Santa knows when I've been good...<br />
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<br /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/UjAMIrvTOGc" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/09/buy-numbers.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-88111971919677953752011-09-17T19:25:00.000-05:002011-09-24T18:19:37.182-05:00Does This Mean I'm A "GOOD" Boy?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/JIoMBawKMtw" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/09/does-this-mean-im-good-boy.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-26160945235417817602011-08-09T14:25:00.006-05:002011-10-01T15:35:44.297-05:00Living With Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A recent assignment was to write an introduction for a housing development just outside Toronto. It was a unique job as it didn't involve the usual humor for which I'm known. It called for a poetic synergy that would entice home buyers and drive interest from the web site to actual site visits. However, as the client had a sense of humor, I couldn't resist adding one last intro just for fun. I was told the boss "laughed his head off."<br />
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He also liked the serious stuff.<br />
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It’s not a place to live – it’s a home. Alderwood by the Lake is old growth trees, parks, a lake and a place where you know your neighbours, who smile and wave when they see you. Close to schools, shops and restaurants where people will know you by name and welcome you with a smile when you arrive. It’s your new life, to grow with your family. Hang a picture anywhere. It’s your place, your home – for many years to come. <br />
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It’s time to start your life. Live by parks, a lake, schools, shops and restaurants and all in a place where you know your neighbours, in a small, friendly community within groves of old-growth trees and serenity. Close to everything you need and an easy commute to Toronto,&nbsp;Alderwood&nbsp;by the Lake, is not a place to live – it’s your home, it’s your growing family, it’s your future. It’s happily ever after! <br />
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Alderwood&nbsp;by the Lake. Just the sound is serene. Imagine life among tall trees, in a small community where you know your neighbours, where shops and restaurants are close at hand. Walk through the park, along the lakefront or hike one of the many conservation trails. Close to school, it’s ease and comfort for the entire family as you grow and enjoy all the Oakville area has to offer. Toronto is a short distance away if you need to commute or just want a night in the city! More than a place to live,&nbsp;Alderwood&nbsp;by the Lake -- is a home, and your future. <br />
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Sure it’s a hell hole but you can’t afford better. Perhaps you shouldn’t have had kids? Well, post-abortion and adoption is no longer an option so at least the school system will teach them enough skills to dig ditches or work the fryer at a fast food place. Close to parks, where you can trap wildlife for food and a lake for bathing because you can’t afford the water bills, there are also many local shops that aren’t use to the shoplifting crimes you will undoubtedly bring to the neighbourhood. The restaurants are perfectly situated for dine-and-dash and, as the neighbours will be hiding in their homes for the sake of their precious lives, there will be no witnesses to finger you when security video airs you on the nightly news.<br />
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Perhaps I can write something similar for you? Serious or humorous, or just a mix of both!</div>
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<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/avMDAOpQV_k" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com1http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/08/living-with-words.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-20959934455826135202011-08-06T22:59:00.003-05:002011-08-10T23:52:34.542-05:00Young And Brash: Don’t Become Old And Foolish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I reconnected with a former art school teacher the other day. I’ve tried to keep in touch with all of my old teachers, at least the ones still living.<br />
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They were my mentors, and they cared about teaching students to enter the field as professionals and to succeed.</div>
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He was at the top of the field then, an art director for a hugely famous magazine, and I took his class so that I could get closer to him as a connection and possible employer.</div>
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He was creative, kind and caring. At the end of the semester, he signed a magazine for me, <i>“It’s been a real pleasure having you in my class and watching you totally miss the message.”</i></div>
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I laughed at the time and thought it was a joke. But he was serious and he was right. When I connected with him recently, I reminded him of what he wrote and thanked him for trying to give me a swift kick to wake me up.<br />
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<i>“It didn’t sink in for many years,”</i> I wrote, <i>“but when it did, I realized the lesson you were trying to teach me, and it’s one of the reasons I have had a successful career.”</i><br />
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Published 8.3.2011 - Read more at&nbsp;<a href="http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2011/08/young-and-brash-don%E2%80%99t-become-old-and-foolish/">Webdesignerdepot</a></div>
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<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/pDukRFr0jCc" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/08/young-and-brash-dont-become-old-and.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-15138008001574047352011-07-19T14:37:00.004-05:002011-10-01T15:36:55.029-05:00Driving Sales With Humor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of my favorite writing projects is&nbsp;humorous openings for sales pitches. These were for a car dealership. With all the exciting content of oil changes and tire pressure, a bit of humor sets the readers up for content that is less than instructional and informative... it's just not miles of laughs.<br />
<a name='more'></a>Here's a few of my favorite intros:<br />
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My grandfather had a unique way to fix his car. Usually it consisted of kicking the tires, pounding on the roof, cursing at the ghost of Henry Ford and walking back into the house mumbling until Matlock came on and he could yell at the TV. He had the same method fixing tanks during the war. Thank goodness he was on the enemy’s side! <br />
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Just kidding! Fixing your car has come a long way since my grandfather’s days in the American Revolution, so here’s some tips to help you fix some problems and still catch the beginning of Matlock. In this issue: <br />
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My grandmother called me in a panic because her car wouldn’t start. I drove over, a bit relieved she wasn’t somewhere on the road, lessening the chance she would be the driver who would smash into me…while I was still in the garage. When I got over to her house, I quickly saw her battery was dead. <br />
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“Your battery is dead,” I told her. She disappeared into her house and came back with a flashlight and opened it.<br />
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“Here,” she said. “Use one of these!”&nbsp;</div>
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Make sure you have the facts when fixing your car…like it needs AA batteries to start! In this issue:<br />
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It was one tough winter! Spring has sprung and it’s time to check under the hood for damaged tubing, fluid levels and to investigate any odd clicking, groaning or squeaks…and when you get back from the doctor, let us check out your auto for the same problems! <br />
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In this healthy issue: <br />
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When I was a kid, my uncle bought a great big, new sedan and he was so protective of it, my cousin and I weren’t even allowed to look at it. My cousin was a huge James Bond fan so he decided to use my uncle’s label maker to put labels on all the dashboard instruments like, “oil slick,” “machine guns” and “ejector seat.” Back then, those labels didn’t come off. My uncle was furious but he had the coolest spy car, driving to the military school he put my cousin in. <br />
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Top secret… in this issue: <br />
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I gave my son his first driving lesson the other day. I was concerned because he generally has trouble paying attention. After giving him a twenty minute speech on safety and paying attention on the road and to other drivers, he says, “in this video game, you can get to the next level by pushing the left and right button at the same time and…” He went on for twenty minutes. For public safety, I’m buying him a bus pass. <br />
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Speaking of safety, in this issue: <br />
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Don’t you hate when people pull into a parking space but the rear part of their car sticks into the spot next to it? There’s a company that makes real-looking, fake parking tickets with nasty comments you can check off and leave on their windshield. The next best thing to subjecting them to police brutality! <br />
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I’ve included a link below. Less pranky, in this issue: <br />
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If you’re like me, a car is an important part of your life. When autos were first mass-produced, some people bought a car instead of a bathtub. They said “you can’t go into town on a Saturday night in a bathtub!” <br />
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Today, if you own a convertible, you can do both. Let’s “come clean” with some tips for your car. In this issue: <br />
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Brrr! Have you noticed this winter has been tough on our cars, with all of the corrosive road salts and battery draining, freezing temperatures. Mother Nature should be charged with “a-salt and battery!” <br />
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Your car is the victim and we’re the fix-it police. Here’s some tips for your car maintenance, so “chill” and read on! In this issue: <br />
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Who will win the upcoming Oscars? Well, at our place, your car is the STAR…without the paparazzi up-skirt shots and horrid tabloid headlines! Here’s some Oscar-winning tips for the thing that has a huge “roll” in your life. The envelope, please. And, in this issue: <br />
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I think it was either Ben Franklin or some guy from Texaco that said, “oily” to bed and “oily” to rise means you’re the first in line for the best deal on our oil change…or you need a better brand of soap! If we’re “oil” aboard, let’s slide on over to this month’s car tips. In this issue:<br />
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Want something like this for your e-newsletter? Just contact me and see how my humor can "drive" sales for you!<br />
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<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/TQS6J_8EJfA" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/07/driving-sales-with-humor.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-61735794343164565582011-07-10T19:44:00.005-05:002012-02-22T00:46:58.696-06:00Perry Hotter And The Reclusive Raventoe<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><b>The draft for book eight in the magical series...</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Chapter three</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">No one noticed him. He sat in the back row of classes. He sat, as he did now, at an empty table in the dining hall, his back to all others, picking at his toad gruel with raven infused sausages, contemplating how much he hated pumpkin juice and craved a cold mudgle, chocolate Yoo-Hoo.<br /><br />What perhaps helped him stay out of the sight and minds of others was merely being part of the Raventoe house. No Raventoe had ever made anything out of themselves. They were the C-D+ students at Hogguts. Head Wizard's Room attendant was about as high a position any Raventoe could dream of. They were the "short boat" kids of the school. His uncle at least had his own wizard rock band but with songs limited to such hits as "Troll, troll, troll, ya gotta rock and roll, roll, roll," "Sometimes I know why the hypogriff cries," "He's a wanker little elf who plays with himself" and the always snappy, "He who can not be named, all the hot witches want your love to be tamed," he could never hope to break the magical barrier and play in the mudgle world. Between his job of loading luggage at the wizarding airport and playing for tips at the Leaky Cauldron every second Saturday, the huge and successful gig at the Malfoy barmitzvah and the Tri-Wizard Ball, he managed to squeak by and still pay for Dish TV so he wouldn't go insane with the boring shows on Wizard Cable.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"Dragonfire McKillya!" rang out across the hall. His head snapped around to see who was calling him. As he had feared, the familiar bellow was Dumbledork. He collected his books and crumbled what was left of his snozzelberry bat liver chocolate bar, kicking it under the table for a kitchen goblin to deal with. Slowly, with his head hung and eyes on the ground, he made his way to the front of the room.<br /><br />He passed the first years getting sorted. "HUFFLEPOOF!" announced the sorting cap and low giggles were heard from the students because if you were placed in Hufflepoof, you were most likely a bed-wetter, a "sissy-wand flicker," or a "weighty girl."<br /><br />The trauma of the memory of his own sorting gave him a low feeling in the pit of his stomach. The sorting cap had been grunting for four minutes, as if it had been thinking. The hot mass that then appeared assured Dragonfire a place in history as the only student the sorting cap ever shat upon. A "Steamer that should not be named."<br /><br />He overheard some Griffinsnores whispering about him but he couldn't make out what was said. He figured it was the old stand-by twisting of his name; "Fartfire Willkillya" was a favorite this year. "Well," he thought to himself as he walked, "it's better than last years "Draggin' balls Grossanussmell-yuckhateyou."<br /><br />He glanced sideways to see the object of all his hatred, jealousy and some odd feelings he didn't understand but private talks in Dumbledork's office was helping him clear that all up. There he was -- Perry Hotter. As usual, Hotter was laughing and surrounded by friends. He was popular, Dragonfire was not. Perry was a star Quizno player and Dragonfire could barely stay seated on the loo. Perry had many female admirers who cooed when he passed and allowed him to use the petrifico totalis spell on his tallywacker when it was time to play, "hide the wand" or "curse hole."<br /><br />"YOUR PARENTS WERE MURDERED, MATE!" screamed Dragonfire in the general direction of Perry, who was apparently startled but not upset as he had learned that no one ever really dies in the wizarding world. He had seen his parents several times and was actually dreading further visits as they tended to baby him and he thought it got in the way of his snogging time. It sounded more sympathetic than a daft insult.<br /><br />As he passed the Slytherworm tables, he turned his face slightly away so not to garner any attention. The Slytherworm students were masters at sarcasm and passive/aggressive statements. You felt demoralized and wanted to hit them. But for each fist fight, Raventoe would lose 50 points.<br /><br />The Slytherworms knew this and used it to their advantage. Had Dragonfire the brain power of the simplest moron, he would have punched a Slytherworm or two as Raventoe was at a permanent point deficit since the week after being founded by Rowanda "Crazy Mumbling Cat Lady" Raventoe and it was at an all time high of minus 14,650 points. What could another negative fifty or one hundred matter?<br /><br />What he feared the most out of the Slytherworms was that every student in that house was a chronic masturbator. Even Moaning Marion, who died while still a virgin and many years later had the urges of a ghost woman was frightened away by the post-breakfast rush to the Slytherworm bathrooms for a quick "wand polishing" before potions class.<br /><br />He rushed past even faster, looking up only to see Professor Rape blowing a kiss his way. He shuddered at the memory of catching Rape in a compromising position with an owl, six Barney Butts beans, three copies of The Daily Sorcerer, two chocolate frogs dressed in submissive leathers and an open bowl of seven pounds of pumpkin butter.<br /><br />Finally, he made it up to Dumbledork, who also lightly blew a kiss to Dragonfire. Of course, he admitted long ago that he craved the attention from the staff. Yet another public slip that doomed Dragonfire to constant teases and magical curses.<br /><br />"I have some bad, bad news for you my girl," said Dumbledork.<br /><br />"Boy, sir," replied Dragonfire.<br /><br />"Whatever!" Dumbledork yelled and mumbled under his breath, "Hufflepoofs!" as he shook his head.<br /><br />"Raventoe, sir,"replied Dragonfire softly.<br /><br />"I have a...special assignment for you," Dumbledork said with a widening grin and a tightening grip on Dragonfire's shoulder which he jerked violently for Dragonfire's impudence a moment before.<br /><br />"Removo barfus!" was the last thing Dragonfire remembered hearing from Dumbledork after he got terribly sick on the headmaster's robes and slippers and passed out.<br /><br />Unpublished</span><br />
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<br /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/-1z7BEwTscA" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/07/perry-hotter-and-reclusive-raventoe.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-19553075722866037502011-07-10T12:46:00.006-05:002011-10-01T15:40:50.086-05:00Biking, Blogging and Bacon<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A new social media client is a small but innovative bicycle company in my home town of Brooklyn, New York. <a href="http://www.brooklyncruiser.com/Brooklyn-Cruiser-City-Bike-Comfort-Bike-Urban-Bike-Commuter-Bike">Brooklyn Cruiser</a> has a line of bikes based on Urban Bikes, also known as City Bikes or the European name, the Dutch Bike. It's some fun subjects I get to write about but, most recently, I got the chance to work <a href="http://www.brooklyncruiser.com/blog/kevin-bacon/">Kevin Bacon</a> into a post!<br />
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Here's a few more posts of mine. If you like biking, then they are a "must read." If you like humor and bike riding, then... they are really a "must read!"<br />
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Brooklyn Cruiser officially launches in late July and blog posts will increase but here's the first few, just to "peddle" the blog to you!<br />
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<a href="http://www.brooklyncruiser.com/blog/">http://www.brooklyncruiser.com/blog/</a></div>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/BmqabHy7BQM" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/07/biking-blogging-and-bacon.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-46507337483758803792011-07-10T12:35:00.008-05:002011-07-10T12:53:09.546-05:00Social Media is Nothing New – But Get On Board!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Business is buzzing about this “new” social media. It’s sweeping the world and every firm has to have it but few understand where it came from and how it actually works. There’s infighting in large corporations for which department will own the social media outreach and people are hanging placards on their profiles that tout themselves as “social media experts," but <b>their tweets are more like twits</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> and the practice has yet to be defined in terms of how it’s effective and how it can be gauged as successful. The answer is to ask the creatives who have been doing it for many years.</span><br />
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Published 6.24.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://www.onextrapixel.com/2011/06/24/social-media-is-nothing-new-but-get-on-board/">Onextrapixel</a></div>
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<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/-zG8mBLQVjM" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com1http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/07/social-media-is-nothing-new-but-get-on.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-57045031823015191592011-06-09T00:43:00.000-05:002011-06-09T00:43:31.280-05:00Are All Male Politicians Potential “Weiners?”<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">With all the Weiner stories flying, I was asked to write a commentary for askmen.com about how politicians shouldn't be allowed to have access to social media. Unfortunately, with the changing and emerging information and evidence every hour, my commentary got bumped off the front page for the "erotic texts" he sent to an unfortunate young supporter.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;">That's the news business! But in the blog business, there's always room for stories that end up being cut, so here it is...</span></div>
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Power is sexy! Add to that a politician’s access to female staffers (no pun intended but what the hell, it sounds good anyway) and supporters and there will be the usual male libido being led by the “little brain. Given their power, high profile, and natural male propensity to catcall/boast about their conquests, it is reckless to give male politicians access to social media platforms. <br /> <br />Like so many before him, Democratic Congressman from New York, Anthony Weiner, has given his career the shaft with the latest round of digital goofery on Capitol Hill. Not since Nixon’s blunder with audio tape, and having people shake their heads at Dick, has technology led to a bigger load of mess for someone foolish enough to leave evidence staining his lustful indiscretions. <br /> <br />Weiner, after lying repeatedly over the incident, finally admitted that the photo of bulging boxer briefs was indeed a wad of trouble and it was his package of shame. The messy load of lies didn’t end with just that photo as he admitted to using social media to engage in “inappropriate contact” with six women over the course of three years. He may have been drawn in by their tweets or came upon their Facebook profiles but his lack of control sets the example that Washington needs parental locks on every single computer. <br /> <br />When former President, Bill Clinton got caught with his hand in… the cookie jar, we were spared the photos of stained dresses, soaked cigar ends and tweets of dirty talk between the Arkansas dog hound and the plump little Oval Office intern that would have caused rivers of vomit to flood American towns. Charlie Sheen may tweet about “winning” but one gags thinking off what Bill might have coined on Twitter or the photos sexted to Monica. Thank goodness social media was still young enough to not be used by Clinton and other political denizens. <br /> <br />Perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised. Men will be men and social media has only created yet another avenue for us to act like complete idiots and the powerful horn-dogs in Washington are not immune to the draw of the web. Every day, some man hits send and his junk is wing-wanging around the web. When a celebrity does the same, it becomes a DVD and sales are bigger than Beatle albums. When a politician does it, we are in shock and disgust. We hold them to a higher standard… one without desire, lust and sex. They are like our parents – we know they did “it” as many times as we have siblings but we just don’t want to think about it. <br /> <br />Among the women Weiner contacted, Meagan Broussard told ABC News that Weiner "friended" her on Facebook after she commented on one of his speeches posted online on April 20. They exchanged more than 100 messages, and Weiner constantly tried to steer the conversation toward sex. What were those conversations and how did he try to steer them? <br /> <br />“Gee, representative Weiner… I really &lt;3’d your speech!” <br /> <br />“Maybe you could give an oral recital to my closest friend and the two nuts he hangs around with? ;)” <br /> <br />“Is he a Senator or someone important?” <br /> <br />“Well, he’s ready to fill an important opening! ;)” <br /> <br />“I’d like to come to Washington one day and give you some ideas that would help the country!” <br /> <br />“I’ll personally poll you! ;)” <br /> <br />“Could you get me onto the congressional floor?” <br /> <br />“Oh, you bet but we might have to use the back door! ;)” <br /> <br />What is truly amazing is that these men who we entrust to run our nation don’t comprehend the simple fact that the digital world of social media is not an erasable marker board and they have never heard of a “retweet” or that other people can click on their feed profile and see everything they have tweeted. I’m willing to bet they don’t reset their Facebook privacy status every time it changes so any person or political rival can see their photos. Is it possible Mark Zuckerberg orders Facebook staff to change the settings every now and then, unannounced, for just this purpose? Makes Zuckerberg and the infuriating changes on Facebook a little more palatable, doesn’t it? <br /> <br />Weiner said he used his home computer and personal Blackberry, not government computers, in his exchanges with the women. But that may not protect him from House rules that say a member "shall conduct himself at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House." <br /><br /> “Reflect creditably on the House?" The way politics is run these days, I find a man acting out on his primal urges more credible than many of the laws introduced by other “upright” members of the House.” I just don’t want to see any pictures of them being “upright!”</span></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/WUZMpm3I2jk" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/06/are-all-male-politicians-potential.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-79005408707940722982011-06-07T13:56:00.000-05:002011-06-07T13:56:49.663-05:00The Secret To Freelancing – FOLLOW DIRECTIONS!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A young digital Illustrator e-mailed me after seeing a post of mine on a business networking site. He asked, “After reading your profile, I would love to hear anything else you have to offer regarding the inside of the industry!”<br /><br />I wrote back, “Yikes! That would take ten minutes, at least. Not much I can say without breaking non-disclosures with my clients. What did you have in mind?”<br /><br />He replied back, “Well, being on the other side of the table as an Art Director, what did you look for in freelance creatives? Anything you can impart would be appreciated. Thanks!”<br /><br />I thought about the answer. What really got me interested in using new talent?</span><div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Published 5.31.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://freelanceswitch.com/the-business-of-freelancing/the-secret-to-freelancing-follow-directions/">Freelanceswitch</a></span></div>
</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/xp9G0XRsM4c" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/06/secret-to-freelancing-follow-directions.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-7115411481558533152011-06-07T13:50:00.001-05:002011-06-07T13:51:18.744-05:00Professional Practices They Don’t Teach You In Art School: Portfolio – What Do You Really Need In It?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve traveled to many art schools, being asked to review senior student portfolios and speak on professional practices in the design business and the one thing I always notice is the lack of direction in student portfolios. Even with professionals, there is often no idea what or even how to present work to a client. Without senior level courses on portfolio preparation or classes taught by those who have been out of the field too long to know current trends, it is confusing and students are left with their own thoughts on what a client wants to see.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Published 5.4.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://www.instantshift.com/2011/05/04/professional-practices-they-don%E2%80%99t-teach-you-in-art-school-portfolio-%E2%80%93-what-do-you-really-need-in-it/">Instantshift</a></span></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/IuQop0x3npQ" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/06/professional-practices-they-dont-teach.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-32914933850739499552011-05-22T15:43:00.001-05:002011-05-22T15:44:50.270-05:00Another Reason To Watch Your Tweets!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I usually just post my own articles but here's one that was written ABOUT me! In reaction to one of my tweets, Romanian web designer with global clients, Radu Chelariu (aka SICKDESIGNER), wrote a nice and thoughtful piece which garnered quite a reaction.<br />
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Read more <a href="http://sickdesigner.com/index.php/2011/design/why-do-you-design/">HERE!</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/ePB0v2WPW64" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/05/another-reason-to-watch-your-tweets.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-15729187869565804502011-05-21T15:27:00.000-05:002011-05-21T15:27:07.201-05:00Professional Practices They Don’t Teach You In Art School: Resumes – Why Yours Won’t Work!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">One piece of business communication that hasn’t changed in a thousand years is the résumé. It’s the first contact you have with a prospective employer and your chance to sell yourself in 20 seconds. With such pressure, most people make huge mistakes with their résumé. Seasoned professionals struggle with issues such as the chronological vs. the functional, editing to keep a long career under two pages and how to truthfully show one’s life without broadcasting they are older, heavily experienced and most probably highly paid.</span><div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Published 4.20.2011 - Read more at <a href="http://www.instantshift.com/2011/04/20/professional-practices-they-dont-teach-you-in-art-school-resumes/">Instantshift</a></span></div>
</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/xgCVH-fT9a8" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/05/professional-practices-they-dont-teach.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-70282633836072033052011-04-19T16:38:00.001-05:002011-04-19T16:39:30.261-05:00Dissecting Gilligan’s Island – A Three-Hour Tour-De-Farce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Judging from shows like Survivor and Lost, life on an island is not a party to be envied. One could never tell from the happy-go-lucky castaways on Gilligan’s Island. Even spending years in the tropics, wearing the same clothes, and, as disgusting as the thought may be, the same underwear, things seemed a bit too everyday normal on the small, uncharted tropic isle.<br />
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The biggest quandary viewers of the classic show have is why the Howells would bring trunks of money and gadgets on a simple three-hour charter on a crappy little boat when they owned a fleet of yachts bigger than some nuclear aircraft carriers. People have theories on the underlying true story. Some postulate that Ginger Grant was caught wearing an evening dress in tropical heat because she had been dumped on the docks after a bunch of conventioneer movie producers pulled a “train” on her. To the untrained eye, the rest of the passengers were just the usual tourists, enjoying a Hawaiian vacation and cheap tour on what seemed like a pleasant little charter boat with an all-white crew, as opposed to a bunch of large, sweaty Samoans with lust and murder in their eyes. Even in the 1960s, some truth just could not be ignored.<br />
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Thurston Howell the Third, millionaire and industrialist had dirty hands. The IRS and FTC were hot on his trail and he had some explaining to do. It wasn’t so much the government as the mob was also looking for him after some bad dealings on yachts of opium suddenly never offloading their cargo on Maui. Noted hit men, Larry “Greasy” Storch and Jan “Amuse You Like Some Kind of Clown” Murray were known for their wacky antics and brutally hideous torture-murder methods. Howell needed to disappear for a while.<br />
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With his yachts and the airport under surveillance, he had few options. He needed to be out of sight for a while but he and his frigid society wife needed their usual comfort zone. There would be sacrifices but he had a plan. After a quick search of the charter boats, he discovered a crew that was perfect. They weren’t too bright, and would provide the manual slave labor needed to serve him and his wife for an indefinite period of time. More servants would be needed but their professional staffs of cooks, maids, butlers and concubines knew too much and were already panting at government rewards for turning in their abusive bosses. It didn’t take long to spot the perfect cast of rubes to fill out the final step in a comfortable stay on a small island Howell had purchased through a small subsidiary.<br />
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A simple farm girl with large breasts would provide food services, while a scientist, shunned by his peers for his innovative work with coconuts and bananas would be able to give the island the technology the rich couple needed to survive and play a round of golf every now and then. The final player was needed for an activity his wife, “Lovey” Howell had not provided in many years – a service usually given for a quick $20 by the upstairs maid, Consuelo and visiting B-movie starlet, Ginger Grant was the object of his desire. Miss Grant was rumored to have certain oral tricks unmatched even in the orient. Mr. Howell preferred his sexual pleasure just like his ability to raid and rape small companies – sitting in his chair with no pants on.<br />
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While Grant was easily drugged and stowed aboard the S.S. Minnow during the night, the other players were more than happy to use the complimentary tickets delivered to their lower rate single rooms at the Honolulu Motel 6, and the hapless travelers showed up the next morning for the all-inclusive (which meant sodas, beer and baloney sandwiches) tour around the islands. The Howells had arranged for several trunks of goods and cash to be placed aboard the boat, next to the comatose Ginger Grant and the compass to be replaced by a recalled item, produced by Howell Naval Instruments, which was noted for breaking after water so much as touched it’s glass case.<br />
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Just before casting off for a few short hours, the Howells, having all mentions of a storm deleted from the media – another subsidiary of Howell Enterprises, arrived in a filthy cab, most assuredly driven by a Yale man, so there would be no suspicion or trace of them. With all passengers aboard, the captain and his first mate, a pleasant fellow who had suffered brain damage years before in the navy when a six-inch gun fired a 50-pound shell into his head, cast off.<br />
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With a little prodding from Mr. Howell and a one-man sub attached to the bottom of the boat’s hull, it didn’t take much effort to guide the small craft to Howell’s island, which had a ten-mile privacy boundary placed upon it via graft to certain government officials. None of the other passengers were ever curious about the trunks of money or items stowed below decks nor was Ginger Grant ever questioned as she just thought it was yet another blackout from too many champagne cocktails and a line of Japanese businessmen. Just another Tuesday to her. Certainly none of the men would complain, as the fronts of their chinos were tightened by the thoughts of the three women stuck on an island with them.<br />
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It wasn’t long before huts were made from pre-cut bamboo logs found in a clearing and the trunks were moved into the Howells hut, again, without question. It was a pleasant little island and the cast of dupes all played their parts. All the Howells had to do was lie back and sip fermented mango cocktails from coconut shells while Mary Ann baked endless coconut cream pies and the professor created nuclear reactors from coconut shells and seawater. He just couldn’t figure out how to smelt iron ore to make nails to fix the two-foot hole in the boat.<br />
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As days, weeks, months and years passed, without scurvy, appendicitis or any broken bones or major hematomas killing off the island inhabitants, they were more than happy to put on shows for the Howells, using the trappings found in the mysterious trunks from below deck, while Ginger collected cash for favors. “Lovey” got to plan her social committees, Thurston played golf and the Skipper and Gilligan constantly jerked off while trying to choose which one of the two women they would pin down and take by force. The professor was only concerned with science and Gilligan’s “engaging simplicity.” Although the island was officially off limits, some Russian sailors did once mistakenly land there, Prompting Gilligan to excitedly tell the professor there was “seamen here for him.” The professor died, so they say, from a broken heart that day when he discovered Gilligan was being literal.<br />
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Ginger was the next to go. She was found in a shallow grave with her head bashed in by a rock. Although Mrs. Howells perfume scented the area, she wasn’t suspected, nor was the word “harlot,” carved into Ginger’s chest thought of as evidence.<br />
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The Skipper eventually went insane and it was surmised he was poisoned by dangerous sperm buildup (DSB). His body was found floating in the lagoon with the pair of underwear taken from Ginger’s body, wrapped tightly around his neck and his hand clenched around his member, frozen by rigor mortis.<br />
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Gilligan’s untimely death came shortly after the Skipper’s when a native spear was lodged in his ear, while he slept and drowned and fell off a cliff, into lava and shot himself with a world war two pistol he found among some hungry sharks. The story is still a bit hazy.<br />
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Mrs. Howell disappeared one day. There were signs of a struggle on the beach by the lagoon and the number of headhunter artifacts found strewn about may explain rumors of sightings of Mrs. Howell among tribesmen in Borneo, wearing nothing but a smile on her face.<br />
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It was reported that Mary Ann and Mr. Howell lived quite well together after those tragedies, until Mary Ann choked to death on a coconut she was trying to “crack open with her teeth.” Mr. Howell was devastated not only at the loss of Mary Ann but also the baby she carried inside of her and if not for the shortwave radio he discovered in the back of the portable AM radio they had all used for years, he might have been stuck there alone, for many years. With one short message, he was rescued within four hours and returned to the mainland.<br />
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It seems that while stuck on the island over the years, several new American presidents had restructured laws for big business owners. The mob had long been incarcerated via the RICO act and Mr. Howell, although reported missing and presumed dead, had never had his estate split up. He returned to the helm of his vast empire and actually received billions in tax returns, while he was away, on a three-hour tour. </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/CQpukUQXD9A" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com1http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/04/dissecting-gilligans-island-three-hour.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-57628995576838031782011-04-18T17:40:00.004-05:002011-04-18T17:46:03.170-05:00Are Art Schools Worth The Money?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I LOVED my art school! I would not be where I am without it. I still keep in touch with my teachers…well, the ones who are still alive. <br />
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When I applied to go there, I had to present a portfolio, have an interview, have a second interview and generally, for many of the classes I enrolled for, had to meet with the teacher and present my portfolio in yet another interview. Although I had transferred in from another school, in an unrelated field, many of my credits were not accepted and I had to take a foundation year of a well-rounded assortment of those little things creatives need; painting, life drawing, color theory, design 101, sculpture and print production. It seemed silly at the time but I now realize the foundation is what made me a better creative.<br />
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There are Art schools throughout the world that still boast such stringent standards and it is usually so the can boast a 90% or better employment rate among alumni. A strong, working and happy alumni means more support for the school and scholarship donations from that alumnus. <br />
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Worth the money? If you learn from working professionals and those who nurture students and elevate them into the field, then the answer has to be yes! Although I left school to start working, I did go back to get my degree a decade later. Between that time, I took classes in computers and software. The learning process should always continue, even after graduation. <br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Why Bother With Art School?</span></b><br />
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If you have to ask, you have an eye for design that is truly a gift. If you ask, you might also be so full of yourself that you can’t see the kudos from friends and family means nothing outside hanging your work on grandma’s refrigerator. <br />
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When we complain about “hacks” ruining the business, it is those who use the label “designer” as others use the expression, “clean undergarments.” The people who do $10 logos and still have the guts to show up at design events to converse with working designers. I won’t yell at them to go away, but have told many of them to shut up and stop ruining the industry. I guess it has the same effect. <br />
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Art school trains you in things that just don’t come naturally to all but a few. It’s like a child’s crayon drawing that you gaze upon in awe. You marvel at the balance and color…and freedom. It’s life that beats it out of us as we grow. Art school teaches you to let go and experience the wonder of the world through fresh eyes and a willing mind. When I finally let go of my preconceived notions in art school, I was amazed at what I could create. I was ashamed at the portfolio I had presented a short time before to get into the very same school. There are those who won’t let go. It shows in their work…when they are able to produce any. <br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Which Schools Are The Best?</span></b><br />
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In America, there were two schools that always topped the list of where a student should attend; RISD (pronounced Riz-dee – Rhode Island School of Design) And SVA (pronounced S-V-A – School of Visual Arts). There were certainly other strong schools, but those two were first choice schools for most east coast art students. Every country has the same hard decisions for art students. <br />
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RISD is a wonderful school and offers some great teachers and curriculum. The location offers a campus with less stress than a school such as SVA, smack in the middle of New York City. SVA, at the time, had no dormitories and billed its campus as “the city.” That, I feel was one of its strengths. The teachers were sometimes late because they were working professionals, held up by their work commitments. Internships were for companies headquartered in the city, which is one of the reasons I left school for a job and didn’t return for over ten years…and kept quiet when I did so I wouldn’t be hounded for work by other students. <br />
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Many of us were jealous of RISD students for their green campus and quieter life. RISD students were jealous of SVA students for living in New York and the chance muggings and berating from prostitutes around the corner from the school. <br />
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These are important factors an art student must examine. Location is as important as the teachers and the two usually feed each other. <br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Fast And Easy Diploma Schools.</span></b><br />
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I laugh when I see ads for online art schools on my Facebook sidebar. Any online school may seem attractive to people now, but in ten years the pieces of paper will be as useless as those battery operated belts that are suppose to give you a six-pack abs in two weeks. They will all end up in the same garbage dump. <br />
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While living in Phoenix, I was asked to speak to senior art students at a two-year diploma factory/”art institute”, as well as be a juror on the senior projects. While I met one or two students who will do well, because they are the gifted people I mentioned before, most of the students had handed over $40,000 for a degree they will never be able to pay back. In fact, the government was shutting down student loans for these “shoot-them-through” colleges and “art institutes.” It seems too many students aren’t able to pay back their loans. How would you feel starting your working career with a $40,000 debt you couldn’t repay? <br />
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There are many of these “diploma factories” out there. Fancy brochures and clean campuses, housed in buildings with chef schools, film schools and paralegal schools look like Harvard…which is another so-so art school, truth be told, not to mention a higher debt for your student loan. Most students pick these schools for the presumed savings, being able to live at home and still attend art school. That is a mistake and one that will define your career. <br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How do you choose?</span></b><br />
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The best recommendation for a school comes from those who attended the school. The internet and a single question on Facebook, LinkedIn or Google will bring many answers. Listen to them and ask more questions. While I’m not happy with how I was treated as an alumnus of my school, I have to give it top marks for what I learned and where it put me. I was also able to pay off my student loans rather quickly.<br />
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Always look at the teachers of the school. Dig on the internet to find their web sites or the companies where they work. My teachers gave me work after I left their classes. Will your teachers be able to hire you? Will they keep mentoring you as your career progresses? Will they be coming to you for work as your career progresses? <br />
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What are the intern programs or possibilities at these schools? The difference between RISD and SVA was the amount of internship possibilities in New York City vs. the outskirts of Rhode Island. An internship usually assures you of a job once you graduate. <br />
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What kind of network will you form with other students? Does the school encourage working closely with other students so you form bonds or does it create a competitive atmosphere that will drive a wedge between students? <br />
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Never pick a school based on the brochure. As with the film, “Art School Confidential,” the plucky young talent moons over the brochure and when the scene of his first day starts with the brochure cover shot, pulling back to reveal the burned out cars and rundown neighborhood. You MUST go there, take the tour with the staff and then find a student who will take you on the tour of the REAL school. <br />
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Ask to sit in on some classes. If the school doesn’t allow it, they have something to hide. Talk to the teachers and ask about their careers and what they think is the most important thing you will get from their class. <br />
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Chances are, by the time you start thinking of art school, you’ve bought a car or motorcycle. Did you just see a picture and plop down thousands of dollars for it? Yes, you probably did. Now, how are you going to get back and forth from school? Well, if you use the same care in choosing an art school, your career will be sitting broken down on the side of the road, too.<br />
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Published - 4.1.2011 in <a href="http://www.onextrapixel.com/2011/04/01/are-art-schools-worth-the-money/">Onextrapixel</a></div>
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</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/RT8lzCvhVXI" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/04/are-art-schools-worth-money.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-76644510149770597992011-04-07T15:35:00.000-05:002011-04-07T15:35:24.598-05:00When You Freelance, How Do You Know You’ve Been Fired?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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It’s easy to figure out you’ve been fired from a staff position. Either your boss or a human resources person has told you to your face, you are met at your desk and walked out, or security guards drag you out, one on each arm and leg. The hints are fairly obvious. When you freelance, it takes time to realize you have been fired and will no longer be working for that client. More often than not, there are no signs. Weeks turn into months and months turn into a year. Depending on how often you do work for that client, the realization that something is wrong can come quickly. Makes me yearn for the good ol’ method of the security guards on each limb! <a name='more'></a><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><div>
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The First Hint. </span></b><br /><br /> If you are doing regular updates and trouble shooting for a client’s web site, the news will travel fast. Suddenly the monthly calls will stop. Naturally, being a businessperson, you will contact the client and ask if they need you to do the regular work you have been providing. Don’t expect a straight answer. Most people don’t like confrontation or being the bearer of bad news. Stay calm! If the client says, “we’ve been busy and will let you know,” that may be all there is to it. If you provide monthly work and you haven’t heard from them in three months. There may be a problem. <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What Might Have Happened?</span></b> <br /><br /> When you realize something is not quite right, the best action is to ask. Ask the client if there’s a problem and how can you solve it together. More often than not, budgets have gotten cut and you’re the one service they’ve let go. If this is the case, are you able to offer your service for less? Can you negotiate a lower fee for a period of time to save the client? Will the client pay you back for the discount when things get better? <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /> Try approaching it this way; remind the client that you’ve had a long and pleasant working relationship and your service isn’t just to support their web and graphic needs, but to serve the needs of the company and its growth (if they were a start-up that begged a discount in return for “future work,” remind them very gently). By switching to a cheaper and often inferior service provider, they risk losing their consumers, web presence and operating revenue. In the long run, it will take more money and effort to repair that loss. <br /><br /> Tell them you understand things are rough and you would rather stick with them through the hard times rather than abandoning them (this will show them you consider yourself a partner, rather than just a paid digital prostitute). <br /><br /> Perhaps there is a new contact person and they want to use people they know. This is a hard one to overcome. You need to convince them that no one will know that company more than you and the risks are very great, not only to the company but to their new position and you would rather build on your past relationship and strengthen their position. <br /></div>
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<br /> Usually people will be foolish enough to ignore this logic and will screw up everything. Fight the temptation to curse them out and threaten you will go to their competition and crush them like insects under your iron boot. Wish them luck and tell them you will be happy to offer any help they may need in the transition. If you know their supervisor, send them a note thanking them and also offering whatever helps is needed in the transition. Don’t push for the supervisor to negate the new person’s power or you will make an enemy. You may keep the client but it will become an uncomfortable situation you will not enjoy. Know when to cut your loses and run. Keep both people on your contact list with the same regular contact you give other clients and prospects. The new contact person may indeed not last long and you will give their supervisor a way to contact you to come back into the fold. <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How Do You Approach The Client?</span></b> <br /><br /> Whatever happens, stay calm and professional. You may not be able to save your position. You may not even get a response to emails or phone messages. Keep trying…for a while. After several attempts to reach the client, back off and check in once a month with a friendly, “hope you are well” and “we are here when you need us.” <br /><br /> Don’t rack your brain wondering what happened if they won’t tell you. There could be many reasons. Don’t take it personally. It is usually tied to finances and people don’t like to admit to money trouble. Be there for their future needs but don’t crowd them! <br /><br /> If you do regular mailings or e-marketing, just leave that client on the list and drop them a private message on special occasions. Refrain from crying or begging. I reserve that for the second year they have not contacted me! <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Damage Control.</span></b> <br /><br /> We are known by the last job we did. If you screwed up and passed off something you knew was substandard, then you deserve to be fired. I had a boss who said, “it’s better to beg forgiveness then ignore a mistake that is made.” <br /><br /> He was always apologizing. It is, however, true and there were even times I was in the right but had to take the fall for a client contact who screwed up. In the long run, while it’s an ego bruise, it keeps the client. <br /><br /> Would you rather lose a client or admit a mistake? Pride has no place in business. It’s never personal. Apologize; return the fee for that job, work night and day to fix the problem. <br /><br /> Sometimes it was nothing you did and you are taking the fall for someone else. Back off and continue to do great work for other clients. Eventually the internal screw-up will be gone and someone else will notice your work and figure it out. <br /></div>
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<br /> Never, ever get angry! People move from company to company and if you do great work, they will take you with them. The aforementioned passage about a new person at your client can work for you if YOU are the one replacing the regular vendor. Stings when you are being replaced but it sure feels good when you replace someone else. What a world! <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Sometimes You Have To Say “Goodbye!” </span></b><br /><br /> You have to be ready to let go. It hurts unless the client is a maniac. When you need money, you tend to put up with a lot. I had a regular client who I truly hated but they paid and I needed to pay the rent and eat. When the art director, who I had shown several layout techniques that her editor loved, thought she could do it with other freelancers, I had to accept I was done. The weekly assignments were a considerable amount of money and the thought of losing that income hurt, as did the ungrateful art director who I had elevated in the eyes of her supervisor. But I also noticed that I stopped throwing up before the weekly meetings with her. The headaches and involuntary twitches also disappeared. Sometimes money doesn’t pay for the little things and endless psychological problems. <br /><br /> In the freelance business, clients come and go for many reasons. If you don’t expect this as part of doing business, you need to learn it. I’ve fired clients, as the trouble is more than the money earned. A client who insists on a flat fee and creates weeks more work, lowering the fee to $1.78 and hour has to be corrected or dumped. If there is a lack of respect, there is no relationship. Makes it easy to say, “goodbye!” <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Why You Should Expect It Will Eventually Happen. </span></b><br /><br /> I’ve known too many people who hold on to several regular clients and never seek new clients. The math is simple -- lose one client and you suddenly can’t make a living. It takes a long time to cultivate a new client and certainly a</div>
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<br /> Singular freelancers can only take on so much. Finding new clients creates an increased workload and that forces business growth. If you can’t handle it, then find someone you trust to subcontract. If you lose a client, you can always stop subcontracting. The big studios always started the same way. Eventually you will need to subcontract more and more. If you are just in business to do all the work yourself, then you need a plan for those times when one of your regular clients stops giving you work. For many reasons, it will happen. Nothing is permanent. <br /><br /> If you don’t wish to expand your business into creating an actual studio (I’ve known people who expand within their own home studios with one or two part-time people), think in terms of a virtual studio and farming work out to others. Always understand that clients will come and go and plan ahead. <br /><br /> <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What Does The Future Hold?</span></b> <br /><br /> When I was laid off from a long-time job from which I was convinced I would eventually retire, I knew other corporations were doing the same. The pool of freelancers was being used for fill in work and that seemed to be a good substitute for a full-time position. As time went on, companies started piling the extra work on their remaining staff members, straining them to the breaking point, but the economy kept people in their positions and doing the work. For freelancers, this left few options for work. Crowdsourcing may be considered a viable option to companies and smaller firms at this moment in time but it’s a solution that cannot continue for many obvious reasons. Eventually, and sooner than later, it will go the way of New Coke and Pepsi Clear. Sounded good but the taste was like vomit.&nbsp;</div>
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<br /><br /> I love my regular clients! They haven’t had too much work of late but I know they are not screwing me nor are they displeased with my work. Some are not happy I have been forced to accept work with competitors but I have to live. One must keep pushing forward and always remember, although we do what we love, it’s a business and never personal. Treat it like a business and not a personal affront from a lover you can’t live without. A lover can always be tied up and live in your basement!<div>
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Published - 3.24.2011 <a href="http://www.noupe.com/how-tos/when-you-freelance-how-do-you-know-you-ve-been-fired.html">Noupe</a></div>
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</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/H_AtXYU-5_0" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com1http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/04/when-you-freelance-how-do-you-know.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-8237595618639939172011-04-01T21:52:00.002-05:002011-04-01T22:02:59.027-05:00How Wanna-bes Burden The Profession<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Thanks to Facebook I get
odd news and instant anxiety rather quickly. I’m sweating over my keyboard in
an attempt to earn enough for my weekly meal and maybe one pill of my
medication when I notice the Facebook window glowing with the news that a
graphic designer friend has “spent the afternoon riding my fabulous palomino
horse, Milton Glaser” or how the flier for the third grade play will “surely
win a design award!”<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<a name='more'></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I don’t mind so much
except they try to talk to me at design events as if their opinion on the
industry or my work and career counts. They are wonderful human beings except
for the ones that are maniacal, self-delusional freaks, but I’m thankful for
one thing…I’m not their spouse, hard at work in a full-time job, seeing a post
on Facebook that says, “went to the pool today and had too many Margaritas
while pondering my next design. Maybe I’ll do a best selling children’s book!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There would be a big
surprise for the “designer” once I got home; stop drinking margaritas and get
to work! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LldzXn8ASes/TYVjdfpxsUI/AAAAAAAAAHI/gbQADORH0C0/s1600/01_car.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="367" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-LldzXn8ASes/TYVjdfpxsUI/AAAAAAAAAHI/gbQADORH0C0/s400/01_car.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">“Billy sold himself as a
top automobile designer. The 2011 line bankrupted the industry.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What Earns The Title
Of “Graphic Designer?”</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Discussions seem to
always point to how busy a designer is, or rather, in a cruelty filled
cat-scratch with a ring of truth, how NOT busy they are and why. Everyone is a
“designer” these days. Many blame it on the home computer. With Microsoft Word,
anyone who can create a garage sale flier or announcement for a child’s
birthday party is a “designer.” Some argue they are – just not a “professional”
designer! What is the separation and what does it really matter? In my mind,
there are many factors. You are probably a designer if:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You the weird kid who drew in your
schoolbooks while other kids studied hard and told the teacher you weren’t
working.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You make a living, or at least a good part
of it, from design (the economy being what it is!).</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Peers treat you like a professional.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You’re somewhere on the first page of Google
for something you designed.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Relatives demand you do a logo for their new
business and you wish lightning would strike you dead right there at the
dinner table.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You want to strangle people for offering you
$50 to design a web site for them.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You worry about a client paying so you can
make the rent and eat.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You bitch about have to pay the outrageous
price of some design publications.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You get angry and call the people in the
design magazines “over-rated hacks.”</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You know the difference between RGB and CMYK
and know they are not TV stations.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You think crowdsourcing and design contests
are eroding the industry.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You swear your kids will NEVER go to art school!</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are starting to see a point to this
article.</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Jz3qIjhs0Yc/TYVkKvgJkaI/AAAAAAAAAHM/QAZAffUBh8s/s1600/02_averagedesk.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Jz3qIjhs0Yc/TYVkKvgJkaI/AAAAAAAAAHM/QAZAffUBh8s/s400/02_averagedesk.gif" width="300" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">“A professional designer
has little time to clean his/her work station</span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">…or conform to state safety
standards for fire hazards or safe working conditions.”</span></i>
</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You probably are just
playing at being a designer if:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You were the kid telling on the kid drawing
in his/her schoolbooks.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When a relative asks you to do the logo for
their business you get excited and tweet to your 12 followers about it.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When you walk up to a group chatting at a
design event, they roll their eyes, become very quiet and scatter
quickly…while you are still in mid-sentence.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You are on the first page of Google only for
being arrested or burning down your house by smoking in bed.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You get excited at $50 for designing a web
site.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Your spouse pays all the bills and you have
no idea where the checkbook is kept, nor do you care.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You subscribe to every design magazine to
put on the coffee table but never actually read them.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If you read the design magazines, you feel
anxiety rising within you because you are jealous of the people in the
publications.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You ask your spouse to buy the latest
version of Adobe CS, 24 hours before it’s released and they do it just to
shut you up.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You enroll your kids in every art class
there is in town and go with them and yell about how their work is
“sloppy” and “lazy” until they cry.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You think this article is mean and I’m an
idiot.</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-g-8i_BfiYbc/TYVkcLdRGvI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/UVWH6BAH2jg/s1600/03_nonprodesk.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-g-8i_BfiYbc/TYVkcLdRGvI/AAAAAAAAAHQ/UVWH6BAH2jg/s400/03_nonprodesk.gif" width="337" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">&nbsp;<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">“The wanna-be always has a
neat and organized workstation… because it’s never used!”</span></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What The Heck IS The
Point?</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The point is our
profession and our ability to make a living. Almost daily we deal with
“design-by-committee” from those who feel we are too stupid to be able to do
our jobs properly or they, by some thought process are better due to the
corporate pecking order. Having other “designers” helping knock down our
profession in the eyes of clients certainly doesn’t help. Have you ever heard a
client offer a low fee and say, “our last designer did it for $50!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The next question should
be, “then why don’t you call him/her to do this project?” The answer would be
he/she wasn’t any good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Have you ever spoken
with a client who wanted a “test” first to make sure you could do the work?
That’s because the last “designer” screwed up. This is the fallout suffered by
working professionals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">At the last Phoenix
Design Week, a key speaker, Brian Singer, creative director and founder of
Altitude Associates, a San Francisco based creative agency and the creator of <i>The
1000 Journals Project</i>, a global
art experiment where journals are passed from hand to hand, made a statement
about a design community and the ability to elevate it to epic proportions: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"The way you get
ahead in design...is by lifting up those around you."<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Sound advice! It also
works the other way around; those around you lower design for you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There are several
professions that have such dilettantes attached. Actors, writers, even dancers
suffer from those who have no talent but push their way into the inner circles
of those who do. Would American Idol be so fun if it didn’t start with the lame
people who think they have singing talent?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">While on the board of a
top-level professional organization that had two membership levels;
professionals, proven with portfolios and the signature of six members and
associates, who were involved in the arts in some supportive way, there was a
question of unjuried shows. It seems some associate members wanted to show
their work as well. While almost all professional members flat out refused the
idea of sullying the organization’s reputation, one board member imparted, they
should be allowed to join in because the entire membership ”might miss seeing
some beautiful art.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Needless to say, there
was no beautiful art to miss, except for future shows boycotted by professional
members. What was left in the shows hurt the organization’s reputation. See how
it works?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-6ySlPAdBbVU/TYVk_xHycbI/AAAAAAAAAHY/3rY-bgClIbk/s1600/05_portfolio.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-6ySlPAdBbVU/TYVk_xHycbI/AAAAAAAAAHY/3rY-bgClIbk/s400/05_portfolio.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">“Which of the two
belongs to the professional designer and which belongs to the wanna-be? It’s a
trick question… they both own the portfolio and equipment on the left but the
professional designer doesn’t own the nice car as you can see by the keys on
the laptop.”</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I Don’t Want To Be
Mean About It.</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Too often, sitting in a
client’s “approval committee,” I see an art director beaten into submission by
the “designers” in the crowd. When all the opinions are rendered, I turn to the
art director and say, “you’re the art director, why don’t you condense all of
these comments into the direction you want?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am always thanked for
trying to bring them back some dignity. The fact is, they didn’t need to lose
it. There has to be enough confrontation to keep our future profitable. If it
means scaring away the wanna-bees or correcting non-creatives who relegate
designers to the bottom of the food chain, if we don’t speak up, soon there
will be nothing to say and we become nothing more than a pair of hands, moving
things around the screen, smudged with greasy fingers as they point where the
logo should be and what type of glitter type they want across the top.
Eventually, a designer will speak up when they are confronted with a failed
campaign or branding and they can say, “that’s what YOU told me to do in
committee!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Find the guts to protect
your profession. Even baby-steps can help make a more pleasant work.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">We have to police
ourselves in such matters. There is no union or organization to assure
professionalism or those who wish to label themselves as “designers.” You can
either speak up and teach and elevate these people to a professional level or
shame them into leaving and hope they will find something new to occupy their
playtime. Mentor art students so they join us in the profession as peers and
not as detriments to the industry. Train young designers on your staff how to
grow and succeed in the field. Open your mouth and tell those who sit on
committees that their ideas, if they have no merit, are not in the best
interest of the end user/consumer or final product. Take back the dignity of
having the special gift of being able to use creativity to solve visual
problems. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-da8HaDYRj34/TYVkwp5UrcI/AAAAAAAAAHU/E3aL_FuSKvk/s1600/04_snuggie.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-da8HaDYRj34/TYVkwp5UrcI/AAAAAAAAAHU/E3aL_FuSKvk/s400/04_snuggie.gif" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">“Design-by-committee
almost doomed the commercially successful ‘Snuggie.’ It was only the fact that
some marketing person, having gone completely insane, wore a bathrobe backwards
into the office one day and sparked a brainstorm into the committee.”</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Some handy comebacks to
suggestions from a committee:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Those are some interesting ideas. Let me
condense them into a cohesive design solution.” (Then don’t make any
changes but tell people you did).</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“The elements are balanced to draw in the
eye and push it in a circular motion to keep the viewer where we want them
to be. Making one element more important that the others will stop the eye
and destroy the final message.” (This will totally confuse the committee
and no one will be able to argue the point).</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Why is it you feel I’m incompetent and
can’t do the job for which I trained for many years? I was hired on the
strength of my past work and only want the strongest solutions for this
company’s successs.” (Anyone who answers this may be treading on corporate
abuse policies. If any answer is put forth, like, “we just want the best
design possible,” file a complaint with Human Resources).</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo3; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“It’s my job to give you the best visual
solution. I can’t be held responsible if this solution is changed by other
departments. Certainly you would feel the same way if I were to change the
marketing or sales solutions.” (This won’t work but they’ll admire your
guts as you are escorted out of the building by security).</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">When it comes to
individuals who want to play with the professionals, shun them until they go
away and find another group who will let them play. Eventually, his/her spouse
will tire of paying for software upgrades and magazine subscriptions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A gentle way to convince
creative dilettantes to stop ruining the industry:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo4; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Use gibberish in front of them and hope all
the other designers join in, like, “I was using the glockenshlorp function
on Photoshop and it worked great.” (The dilettante will either be
embarrassed and walk away or tout the virtues of the glockenshlorp).</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo4; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Say, “I’m sorry, but you need to do at least
one design within ten years to be part of this discussion.”</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo4; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Just point and laugh at the person until
they cry and run away.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo4; tab-stops: list .5in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">No matter what question they ask you about
the business, roll your eyes and mumble aloud, “why do they let them out
of the ‘special schools’ to bother normal people?”</span></li>
</ul>
There is the dream and then there is the reality. In the dream, someone else is paying your bills no matter how much work you do or don’t do. In reality, you get hungry and homeless from not working and earning enough. Think about that when the make-believe designers tell you how to make your designs better. <br /><br />Published 3.17.2011 - <a href="http://sixrevisions.com/project-management/wannabe-designers/">sixrevisions</a></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/xCrdFBbk4ks" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com2http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-wanna-bes-burden-profession.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-33495529643117114482011-03-08T10:35:00.002-06:002011-11-20T20:50:32.055-06:00Prove It: Handling Tests and Spec Requests from Clients<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">I was called recently about a freelance job for a local corporate entity and met to speak with the marketing director. After a few days, I received an e-mail informing me I was one of six “finalists” for the assignment. The message contained a list of several advertising campaigns, a rebranding of the logo, signage and billboards. It said all finalists were to do these for a presentation in two weeks. My first thought was…not fit to be printed here.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #646060; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Published 3.8.2011 - Read more at</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #646060; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> <a href="http://freelanceswitch.com/clients/prove-it-handling-tests-and-spec-requests-from-clients/">Freelanceswitch</a></span></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/BHK6M7gcqvw" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/03/prove-it-handling-tests-and-spec.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-76016780208950922222011-02-24T02:00:00.003-06:002011-02-24T02:03:26.455-06:00Professional Web Design, Volume 2 (Smashing eBook #7)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Look for my chapter in this cool new book from <a href="http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2011/02/23/new-smashing-ebooks-professional-design-web-typography-sm-book-1/">Smashing Media</a> (Gmbh)!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qVzUK8JMPWM/TWYPtXzbGfI/AAAAAAAAAHE/msIX38XfSJI/s1600/Ebook-7-cover+in+New+Smashing+eBooks%253A+Professional+Design%252C+Web+Typography%252C+Lost+Files.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qVzUK8JMPWM/TWYPtXzbGfI/AAAAAAAAAHE/msIX38XfSJI/s400/Ebook-7-cover+in+New+Smashing+eBooks%253A+Professional+Design%252C+Web+Typography%252C+Lost+Files.jpeg" width="337" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
</div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/yhxg38KbmAE" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com3http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/02/professional-web-design-volume-2.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-23363193498613403792011-02-09T16:31:00.005-06:002011-11-20T20:51:17.493-06:00Partnering with Other Creatives – Creating a Virtual Studio or a Reality Nightmare?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"></span><br />
I was asked to have drinks by someone I knew from a graphic design group. He seemed normal (excuse me while I shudder, as he turned out to be a stalking maniac) so we met for a couple of drinks, which turned into dinner, against my better judgment, and shortly into the meal, he announced we should “open a studio together!”<br />
He had given it thought as he already had the name, “Two Guys Studio.”<br />
<br />
I took a long drink to give me time to answer and, hopefully, time for him to die of a sudden heart attack. “No thanks,” I replied.<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Published 2.9.2011 - Read more at&nbsp;<a href="http://wegraphics.net/blog/articles/partnering-with-other-creatives-creating-a-virtual-studio-or-a-reality-nightmare/">WeGraphics</a></span></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/5yaiVNEygXM" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/02/partnering-with-other-creatives.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5604343284184169149.post-41788805003690972532011-02-03T02:03:00.001-06:002011-02-24T02:12:25.328-06:00Smashing Book #2 -- "The Lost Files"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Free download. Chapter one by me! ;)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://shop.smashingmagazine.com/smashingbook-dispatcher.php?d=ebook-the-lost-files" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_E3U4Ihhd3PI/TUpgz9tmRJI/AAAAAAAAAG8/NoIYBj49Og8/s400/The+Lost+Files.png" width="374" /></a></div>
<br /></div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/WriterBloggerNeer-do-well/~4/odgrNKbnXUE" height="1" width="1" alt=""/>Speider Schneiderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13918137977238368535noreply@blogger.com0http://speiderschneider.blogspot.com/2011/02/smashing-book-2-lost-files.html