I Am A Wild Blue Beast

(Zulu)

Sorry about that. It’s embarrassing. I don’t know why I have the fetishes I do. I’m not sure anybody can point to a single moment and say, “There, that’s why I like that.” They're just hot buttons I have.

The long answer is that I have a very domesticated life: a clean white collar job, a (mostly) monogamous relationship for over 12 years, financial stability. So, on weekends I’m drawn to get really filthy.

Christian fundamentalists think that all homosexuals are having kinky sloppy sex with multiple partners every night. Would that it were so. Instead, the majority of my sex life involves cuddling.

2. You're a few hours from execution. What is your last meal?

Nothing – a last defiant act to stand up to the Man! Or if I was feeling theatrical, multicolored jello and syrup of ipecac.

3. Any artistic outlets?

None really. For a while I was going to figure drawing classes with my partner, but I would sketch hot men from photographs instead of the female models. I love music and play piano, guitar, and sing, but haven’t gotten the motivation to record the magnum thrash-metal-Irish-bagpipe CD that’s in my brain.

4. What is your favorite urban legend?

The guy with the hook scratching on the car has never made sense to me.

5. In the big-screen version of your life...who plays you? Peripheral characters?

I was told when I didn’t have a beard that I look like Robert Downey Jr. Same manic attitude, bags under the eyes, same predilection towards debauchery. One time another friend said I looked like a “badly drawn anime character”. Then he added, “But I mean that in a good way!” So I’d have to say it’s Downey Jr. starring the all creatures from Pokemon.