The Mayo Conspiracy

HoldThatMayo Apparel

One could say that Ronald Mcdonald fits the profile of the classic serial killer. Think about it: He dresses like a clown, (click here to see Stephen King's view on the subject) and more importantly, slowly killed millions over the years with his fried, greasy, mayo-laced food. However, since there is not an immediate cause-effect relationship, many parents still do not think twice about sending their kids down the deep dark path of Happy Meals. If they watched this commercial beforehand, I bet they would think twice. How creepy is this!

It has been over 3 years since its release and it seems like McDonalds has definitely been feeling the ill effects of the Super Size Me phenomenon. America is now more educated than ever about the toxicity of fast food so McDonalds first responded with a few semi-healthy additions to their menu. However, a little yogurt for desert is not going to counteract all the ill effects of that low quality, fried burger smothered with mayo. No McDonalds , there is nothing special about your so called “special sauce.” We all know it spoiled mayo so let’s call a spade a spade! And as far as your salads, you even managed to screw up your vegetables. Recent research claims that McDonalds’ salads contain nearly a third more salt than a Big Mac and Fries. And once you add that disgusting mayo-based dressing, the overall calorie count

Mayonnaise is the most disgusting thing on this planet and it needs to be stopped. At Holdthatmayo Headquarters, we initially thought the best way to fight this beast was to endorse other condiments. But contributing to the Ketchup lobby backfired . If unsupervised, ketchup will stray to the other side of the tracks, hang with the “wrong element” and boom, come back as Russian dressing. (which can easily find its way back on an unsuspecting sandwich in most Jewish deli's) Hence the mayonnaise comes full circle and thus, has the last laugh,. Next, we looked at Mustard but turns out, that can not be trusted either. You see, its kissing cousin, Dijon, may occasionally cross over to the “other side” of the tracks and mix with you know what. Yup, mayo is indeed the condiment whore.

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