My mother gave birth to me twice. The first time, of course, was my arrival into the world. The second happened about 14 years later and it’s the second birth that I remember and will forever be grateful. I was a student in Mrs. Hargrove’s English class when the assignment was given to memorize a speech to give in front of the entire class. I was less than excited. I was a bit of a class clown but enjoyed that role out of the spotlight or from the back of the room. Like many young people, I dreaded speaking and the thought of doing so in front of a group of my peers terrified me. I told my mother I couldn’t do it. Thankfully, she told me I WOULD. She helped me pick out a poem from a book by Eugene Fields called “Jest ‘Fore Christmas”. Mom worked with me for countless hours helping me memorize the poem. She made me practice over and over and over until I could do it in my sleep. I practiced in front of her friends, the church ladies, and the neighbors next door. She also showed me how to use my hands to make appropriate gestures that complimented the words in the poem. She taught me to use eye contact, vocal variety, and effective pauses to land my message. In addition to memorizing the poem, Mom suggested I dress and act the part. The day came when it was my turn. Despite my preparation, I was beyond nervous. Dressed in overalls and a plaid shirt with a straw hat on my head, I walked to the front of the class. My palms were sweaty; my heart raced. I thought I was going to faint. And then I started:

Father calls me William

Sister calls me Will

Mother calls me Willie

But the fellers’ call me Bill

And on it went until I finished with the line “but jest ‘fore Christmas, I’m as good as I can be.” The class clapped and I returned to my seat satisfied that this most dreaded ordeal was over or so I thought. Mom, along with my English teacher, encouraged me to enter the school speech contest. From there I went to the county contest (a recent picture below with my mom and the trophy she helped me win many years ago). In between, there was a lot more practicing, a lot more coaching and a lot more encouraging. Along the way, I became much more comfortable speaking and no longer dreaded it. Of course, there were more presentations in high school and then even more in college. By then, speaking became so much easier and something I even kind of enjoyed. By my early 20’s, I was speaking to civic organizations, church groups, and even business groups. By then, I loved speaking. In my mid 20’s, I left my full-time job and started my career as a professional speaker.

My mom not only gave me life, she also changed my life. I feel confident that if it weren’t for my mother, I would have never overcome one of my biggest fears and certainly would have never found professional speaking as a calling and a career.

In celebration and remembrance of my mother and all the mothers who push their children to be their best, thank you for your influence, thank you for your teaching, and most importantly, thank you for your love. I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven.

Time. It is such a precious commodity. Many people lament that they don’t have enough of it, and we yearn for more. Ironically, we seem to have an amazing amount of time spent daily watching TV and on Facebook.

– Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerburg reported that we spend 50 minutes per day on Facebook.

– The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports we spend 2.8 hours every day watching T.V. (which, incidentally, is more time than we spend reading – 19 minutes, participating in sports or exercise – 17 minutes, or social events – 4 minutes).

After reading the Facebook statistic, I did a little math. I have had a Facebook account for at least ten years. Using the time provided by Zuckerburg for Facebook use and assuming I have been the average Facebook user, here’s some statistics that could represent my Facebook time:

– 5.8 hours per week

– 23.3 hours per month

– 280 hours (11.6 days) per year

– 28000 hours (or 116.6 DAYS) since 2006

IF I had been the AVERAGE Facebook user, I would have wasted 116.6 days since 2006. Sure there may be good things about Facebook and other social media. The problem comes when users get sucked in without purpose. It’s when screen time takes precedence over face time and online chats trump live talking that it all turns into anti-social communication. Then it’s Wastebook, not Facebook, Trap Chat not Snap Chat, Twaddle not Twitter, InstaScam not Instagram and yes even SinkedIn instead ofLinkedIn.

Social media, particularly Facebook, can be a black hole of time suck that provides little return for your time investment. Imagine what you or I could do with 11 extra days each year (plus another 42.5 days if you are the average TV viewer). Cutting those two activities, or at least greatly reducing them, could conceivably give you time to start on or finish a college or masters degree, learn a foreign language, take up a new hobby, earn some extra income to pay off a loan, invest in your retirement, or help save for your kids’ college. You could also volunteer more, read more, exercise more, garden, take a cooking class, or just spend time with your friends and family.

Maybe you have been stealing time from your work or feel compelled to check your social media during lunch or while attending a “boring” meeting. Is the payoff of status strolling worth the time? Balance out social media time, even business related, with activities like job shadowing, researching a competitor, calling a customer just to listen to their needs, engaging with a new employee, taking a veteran colleague to lunch, enrolling in an online or company training program, offering to spearhead a new project, starting a mastermind or study group, organizing a charitable event, joiningToastmasters, or maybe just spend time each day thinking about how you could be more productive or effective in your job.

If you are spending too much time on Facebook or other social media, consider:

– Giving someone you trust your passwords and let them help you monitor your time

– Use the groups or messenger features only on your smartphone and ignore the timeline updates

– Delete your account altogether

Time is an irreplaceable commodity. Become more social in what matters.

Road blocks can be extremely frustrating when they are standing in the way of arriving at our destination. We can all relate to a time when our route was changed by an unexpected road block. Usually, a sign alerts us to the block but sometimes it can be a surprise. We may have to turn around and head back in the direction we just traveled. While frustrating, roadblocks can actually be helpful and ultimately take us to a place better than the planned route. At that point, it becomes a building block to something even better.

Early in my career with the IBM Corporation, I faced a road block as I pondered a career change. I wrote about it below and included some suggestions to help you navigate around your work or personal roadblock.

Here’s the story: This week I celebrated my annual Independence Day (the day I left the IBM Corporation to start my own business). I remember agonizing over the decision to leave the security and safety of a corporate job. I had applied for an educational leave of absence to pursue my master’s degree. My plan was to finish my degree while trying to see if I could make it on my own as a professional speaker. If I wasn’t able to make it in my own business, I would return to IBM after the two-year educational leave. IBM denied my request. It was decision time. I felt like I had a well thought-out plan though I didn’t have a back-up. Most of us don’t think of alternatives when things are going well. Then the block comes and we are faced with a dilemma. The blocks can be major career decisions like mine was or they can be small blocks that prevent us from taking action on a goal. Our ability to navigate around a block is dependent on how we think through it and whether or not we are willing to take action.

Stop the block: Identify a block in your personal or professional life. Just as a block is six-sided, here are six points to help you unlock your own block.

Analyze the block. Write a clear statement of what the block is and where/how it started. What are the factors that caused the block? Did you do something to exacerbate it? Is there a mindset or behavior change that you can make to help alleviate the cause(s)?

How is the block affecting you and your personal or professional performance? Determine if it is a real block or if it’s mental. As any Olympic athlete will tell you, mental conditioning is as important as physical conditioning. Think about your mental mindset. How can you improve it to help stop the block?

What is the biggest pain, cost, or frustration that the block causes?

What action steps do you need to take to remove the block? Take the easiest action step and identify ways you could move past the block. Take one step right now.

Identify how your life or work would be better if you could permanently remove the block. What would change for you or the situation if the block didn’t exist? Imagine a perfect world solution. Visualize how things would be without the block.

What resources do you need to remove the block? Who do you know who has overcome something similar? If willing, how could they help?

While my decision to leave IBM wasn’t thought out as thoroughly as what I outlined above, it worked out well and for more than 25 years I have been fortunate enough to have my dream job. Independence for you and/or your company could start with a block unlock. Why not get started today?