Patents! They are often completely fucking insane. But here's my question about this one, "Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force:" it'd work on helping me poop, too, right?

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Yes, this is an elaborate contraption that you would strap a pregnant woman to who was about to give birth. It would then spin her around at a rate that would pull that baby right on out of her without her having to do as much work. What could possibly go wrong?!

Sadly, since this patent is from way back in 1965, it doesn't appear to have ever become a reality. Not yet, at least. I'm looking at you, terrible doctors. [USPTO via Boing Boing]