Posts Tagged ‘The Idiot’s Guide to Taxes’

In the beginning there walked in a garden two men. They had been debating for hours if it was better to starve the rich and give to the poor, or starve the poor and bathe the rich in low-monthly-rate-mortgages.
These two men had been made by God to make the world an insane-er place.
And God saw that it was politically correct.
And the men feasted on the green of many tax-payers for the time until elections. But when they saw that they were going to have to choose a candidate for their elections, strife came between them. Thy disagreed on who should starve (the rich or the poor) and they quarreled amongst themselves.
And God saw that they could bring no more peaceful taxes to earth so He turned one man (starve the poor) into an elephant hoping furtively that the man and the elephant would have peace between them.
But he took a tribe of hippies and sent them against the elephant saying: “Kill him and you may feast on his flesh.”
When God saw that the elephant was to be destroyed he grew angry and threw his THE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO TAXES out the window bellowing: “You humans are such a pain in the ass!” and turned the man (starve the rich) into a donkey.
Now when the elephant saw that the donkey was smaller than him, he began to scheme.
And then God was mad at both of them and said: “If ye will refrain from killing your sorry butts, I will give unto you all the lands of America to pollute with Political Shit.”
And the elephant and the donkey saw that it was all for the greater boredom and agreed.
And God saw that his Popovers were done and went to eat.
And so Democrat (the donkey) and Republican (the elephant) went their separate ways in the world to make everyone’s life as hard as possible.
And they saw that it was good.
The End.