The Dorklyst: The 6 Worst Leaders in Videogame History

Sophie Prell

February 21, 2012

It's February. And you know what that means. No, not appreciation of one another and romantic indulgences! We have a much more important holiday to celebrate: President's Day! Because you totally knew that was coming up and most certainly did not just treat it as an excuse from work.

While the names of Lincoln, Washington and Roosevelt were no doubt cheered and praised, the names of sucky presidents were whispered in hushed tones and evil hisses. Garfield. Cleveland. That one guy who died after 32 days in office. But let us not be ashamed of these fine men. Misery loves company, so let us celebrate the bad and give them company. Let us observe the six worst leaders in videogame history.

6. Arcturus Mengsk (Starcraft)

Arcturus Mengsk is basically what would have happened if Luke Skywalker had, at the end of Return of the Jedi, thought, "You know what? That whole Empire thing wasn't actually so bad. I mean, I could totally rule the universe and not be a dick about it." Only then he would be a dick about it, and would grow a sweet beard and develop a southern accent. Oh, and he wouldn't have Force powers anymore, or a lightsaber.

Okay, so maybe Luke Skywalker was a bad allegory. Point remains, Mengsk was a rebel fighter that led numerous attacks against the Terran Confederacy due to their oppressive regime, frequently praised by his comrades-in-arms for his single-minded determination. To pretty much everyone's surprise, Mengsk actually succeeded in tearing down the Confederacy, only to install his own dictatorial government, the Terran Dominion. The man clearly has no sense of irony either, as he embraces his new position by giving himself the title "Emperor." Now if only he could shoot lightning like that other Emperor

5. Garrosh Hellscream (Warcraft)

Okay okay, I'll stop with the Star Wars stuff. Let's jump back from sci-fi then and instead observe some medieval fantasy leaders, like Mr. Hellscream here. And since we're doing that, let's start with a little family history. Garrosh's father bound the orcs to demons as slaves thanks to an insatiable desire for power and a hot-blooded attitude. Okay? Eternal damnation and slavery in exchange for a bigger war peen. Clearly a family with values in the right place.

Garrosh, having all but dissolved truces with the Forsaken and the Darkspear trolls while expelling most non-orc inhabitants from Orgimmar, isn't faring much better. The guy even attacked Thrall in attempt to show dominance during the Horde's invasion of Northrend. This isn't like Obama vs. McCain or Bush vs. Gore. This is Clinton stepping away and putting Randy "Macho Man" Savage in his place. He's a-gonna git'cha! OH YEAHHH!!

4. Kefka Pallazo (Final Fantasy VI)

As a general under Emperor Gestahl, Kefka was a man with a screw loose. As a man imbued with the powers of a god, he became total ruler, dictator, and all-around prick extraordinaire. See, halfway through Final Fantasy VI, Kefka betrays his Emperor and steals magic from three deities known as the Warring Triad. In doing so, he un-makes the world and proclaims himself appointed ruler. Those who refuse to bow down are instantly incinerated. You know, like any rational leader would do.

Only Kefka isn't rational. Remember how I described him as having "a screw loose?" Yeah, try a dozen screws. And the dry-wall. And the support beams. And the you know what, just everything about this guy is off. If there is one person you do not want the almighty god-power going to, it's the one wearing a rainbow jester outfit who constantly screams about how much he wants to destroy everything.