Monday, June 28, 2010

It Is Hard For Thee to Kick Against The Pricks

I know the heat is making me insane and I don't want to get off on another rant here, but why am I such a prick to people I meet in Summers?

My knee-jerk reaction is that I'm an asshole and Summers is my home away from home and the only place I feel comfortable being myself outside my Fortress of Solitude. The difference was thrown into relief recently when a friend sent me an e-mail asking why I was being so nice and understanding with an issue that she had shared while we were both at work.

My first thought was that I'm really a nice person and that's the way I am and I like helping people because that is what I do. Then I thought about it and realized that the Summers Me was the real me and she had just caught me in a moment of weakness when my guard was down. I kind of hate her for making me face the fact I'm a jerk, but I aslo appreciate that fact that she forced me to come to terms with the fact I'm an asshole.

Which reminds me about the song that Dennis Leary wrote about me...

"I'm just a regular Joe with a shitty job.I'm your average white suburbanite slob.I like hockey and porno and books about Gwar.I've got a crappy house with a dirty hardwood floor.No life and no job, no kids and no car.My feet on my stool and an Asian working the bar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested.No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense.

I pedal really slow in the ultra-fast lane,While people behind me are going insane.I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, ask his ex-girlfriend)I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, how did his last relationship end?)

I use the unisex washroom and piss on the seat,I walk around Summers saying "How about this heat?"I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes I crap in the handicapped loo,While handicapped people giveme a handicapped F' you.I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole) "