Friday, April 21, 2006

Level 1: All's Black

I case you're wondering, the title's from The Wicked, an online puzzle game which Zhang introduced me to but I haven't got the time or HTML knowledge to get past level 2.

It's been another sleepless week, with me falling asleep while doing Chinese homework twice now, and the bus driver's really angry at me because I keep coming late. I have stuff to say but I won't say it here because it's too angsty and it's already in my diary so. And yeah, I now have a diary, where I can store anything I want to say that's too dangerous or too angsty to put here. Problem is, Zhang keeps trying to get his hands on it.

Weekly shooting training has started, and it's very time consuming. Coupled with NP Day training at least twice a week, that's three days out of five I'm staying back for something I dislike. Have you noticed that every CCA in our school has to be competitive or provide service to the school, or it won't exist? In the US they have all sorts of hobby clubs and societies... but here, all they have is Gold-medal winners. Stupid meritocracy.

Something else. I've noticed that whenever I'm good at something I like, I usually get banned from it, but when I'm good in something I hate, I get more of it dumped on me. I like performing, but two days ago Mr Wong banned me from acting in anymore IOPs because I apparently "overshadowed" the other presenters. I kinda knew that too, but I just wanted to do my best, y'know? That's why I didn't ham it up so much with Jason's performace - I tried to downplay it a bit. Hope I didn't ruin anybody's marks.

I like contributing in class, but Mr Wong said, "Not you again, you've talked too much already...!" Admittedly, that was last term, when he was trying to have other people contribute so that he could give them good comments for their term reports. Shouldn't contributing and sharing ideas be more important than a nice-looking term report? Stupid meritocracy.

I hate UYO. But of course, I had to get 88/90 for Classification shoot. And now I'm down every Tuesday for shooting practice one and a half hours from my house. And NP Day training, quite believably, stretches all the way to exam day, because, you kow why? NP Day is 5th of May, which is, oh my gosh!, Chinese exam! So I'll be stuck in my ****** uniform for 6 hours doing Chinese exam.

Life's just weird; you hope against hope that it will get better, but the general trend has declining so far, and with a scientist's mind, it con only be concluded that it will get worse. I want to be like KW; I want to be like Zhang; I want to hope, to dream, to be happy. But, duh, I never get what I want.