TOD

07/26/2010

In a proactive response to global warming trends, the new TOD (Transit Overlay District) Lifestyle Mallis busy constructing a climate-controlled underground tunnel,
connecting the mall to the nearby commuter rail station. Commuters will soon be able to walk from home to work, barely breaking a sweat.

Phase two of the construction project will bring a giant
plexiglass dome to enclose the Rooftop Lifestyle Lounge. This will allow mall
residents and the general public to enjoy Zumba classes, rock climbing,
cocktail parties, mini triathlons, and myriad Carnival Cruise type offerings
in air-conditioned comfort.

Atkins (on right) (file photo) Mall architect and lifestyle
consultant Alan Q. Atkins(distant cousin of diet guru Dr. Atkins) told the local
zoning board the dome will be “bigger than the Boy in the Plastic Bubble, smaller than
The Simpsons Movie.” Although he did not provide a scale model, he said it
would be “tasteful—trust me.”

Air conditioning will be supplied on a sliding scale basis.
The Gilded Cod condo units will have unlimited central A/C; Simply Scrod will
have pay-as-you-go controls; and the affordable units in the Clam Strip will
have window units in the upstairs bedrooms only.

Stay tuned for updates. For more details on the TOD Lifestyle Mall, see: