The count has an eye on his ankle
And lives in a horrible place
He wants all your money
He's never at all funny
He wants to remove your face
And you might be thinking "What a romp this is!"
But wait 'til you meet his accomplices

When you see Count Olaf
you're suddenly full of disgust and despair and dismay
In the whole of the soul of Count Olaf, there's no love