Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Jan. 31)

300 text messages must mean true love, right?

Ice Cold: A 61-year-old woman called police after her car was stolen. The woman told officers that she tried getting in her car to go to work but the windshield was iced over and she couldn't see a thing. She went back inside, leaving the car running to warm up. Shortly after, she heard a crash, ran outside and saw an unknown suspect driving her car down the road. She was right to be concerned about visibility, as the suspect hit a mailbox and drove through a neighbor's yard before turning down another street.

If Loving You is a Crime: A woman filed a police report on one of her "friends" last week after the man went a little overboard with his affection. She said the man is infatuated with her but she only considers him an acquaintance; he sent her 300 text messages. One day she received one from her boo that read, "If you wake up and your vehicle is spray painted or broken into do not blame me." That's some way to flirt.

Highlarious: A 13-year-old kid was understandably shaken after his neighbor dropped in on him. The kid told officers he was watching TV in his family's apartment when the man, who lives below, suddenly came in through the back door. The man saw him and started laughing. He then ran back out the door and jumped off the balcony before running away. Kids: don't do drugs.

Bilingual Mis-education: Officers charged a man with multiple offenses last week after they chased him down following a hit-and-run. The man, obviously drunk, spoke perfect English when the officers first apprehended him. As soon as they attempted to test his blood-alcohol level, however, he insisted that he didn't speak English.

Threats of the Week: A 40-year-old man was threatened by a disgruntled co-worker who seemed to be losing his religion — as well as his mind. The man sent an email to the victim, and eventually the rest of their co-workers, that said, "The minute I forget my Christianity, I'm going to leave you all covered in your own blood. You all are a galactic evil empire that needs to be brought down." They work for a fetish-based entertainment company, so he may have just been role-playing.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.