Are you truly sorry?

I truly regret my affair. But, I am looking to my future and despite the damage caused by the affair there are also some positives. My H and I feel very loving and close and doing things together we might not otherwise have done. We have both grown and learned.
While I regret my affair, I do not regret my spouse finding out. That is what saved us.

I did what I felt I needed to do to keep my family together and still get what I needed. My spouse never found out. Maybe I would feel differently if that were the case. Lost mentioned that there is a difference between guilt and remorse. I guess I am remorseful for trying to fill a part of myself that my husband could not in the wrong way, but I really have no guilt. Now that it is over, I am still in the same mess I was in before. Stuck.

The one I had I was sorry for the moment I sobered up. We were friends and he really liked me, but I was just needing affection/attention/something because my fiance (then boyfriend) just wasn&#039;t there enough. So I felt guilty for unintentionally hurting my friend by using him AND sorry for cheating. I tried to hide it to the point where I stopped talking to the friend altogether because I was pretty much terrified my bf would find out and
1) be crushed
2) leave me when I really was in love with him.

Now the boyfriend before him that I cheated on all the time... nope. I&#039;m still not sorry but I think it&#039;s because I believe he drove me to cheating by being so jealous and possessive... but then I was a teenager with loose morals in regards to boys.

I was sh**head for doing it. Mid-life crisis was my excuse. I was a complete and total f**k up. Regret does not begin to explain how I feel. The OW and I were two sorry excuses using every sorry excuse there is to continue our play dates. Immature, stupid, deceitful and many more adjectives apply to me. My wife did not deserve the pain I have put her through. I am scared sh**less I am going to lose the best thing in my life because I did not have the guts to go seek counseling. Instead I found a woman willing to spread them wide for me. I was so screwed up that I had no idea of damage this inflicts on a marriage. Needhelp62 regret? I call it torture.

I think it was an eye opener in our marriage. I threatened my H for years, that if things didn&#039;t change, we&#039;d end up divorced. I think it took my affair for him to realize I was serious. Am I sorry I hurt my H, yes. Do I regret it, no. Should I, yes.

I regret hurting his wife.
I regret not waiting until he was single again.
I can honestly say that I don&#039;t regret getting to know him and loving him and being loved by him. It was the best moment of my life.

Ibex, what was wrong with the truth?? he said he didn&#039;t want me to know because I would have left. So to him, the lying and sneaking was preferable. But i didn&#039;t get the choice to decide if I wanted to sleep with a man who was having UNPROTECTED sex with another woman. He said she told him she was clean. Oh yes..we ALL know the OW/OM don&#039;t lie, now do they? He was lying to me, lying to her yet she wasn&#039;t lying about not having an STD?? Get real. This is when the little head is doing all the thinking. Now, am I supposed to be happy about that??

You&#039;re right. He wanted you and he wanted to have sex on the side. Now he is sorry because it has damaged his marriage. So, you either forgive him and give him one more chance to be a better person and to be honest and committed and hold him to it, or you decide you can&#039;t forgive him and leave. The choice now his yours, he made his choice, and you can make yours. You have the choice to be happy or not.

Forgiveness nor happiness were the topics of this thread. The topic was true sorry or only sorry because the affair was discovered. Which is why I asked the question - sorry or only sorry because the affair was found out?

Oh honey, I forgive the fact you f**ked around on me. All is forgiven. Let us never talk of it again. I am so happy to be with you. What does a bit of f**king around have to do with me anyway? You made your choice, and now I am making mine. My choice is to stay with my lying, cheating, spouse because, after all, you are sorry. . .and that is all that counts. My memories of us, our vows, mere trifles of life. I am so happy.

Patrick, maybe you meant me, about the reality checks. I realize how fortunate I am in my situation. I was only responding to needhelp because she is on the rebuilding marriage site which is about getting past the anger and rebuilding a loving relationship. She has been on here as long as me and she is stuck in an angry state.
My husband and I having been working on our marriage for 7 months since dday. We have been doing many things to make things better. And, no I haven&#039;t expected him to forgive me, be so happy with me, and not talk about it again. We talk about it all the time. I am probably harder on myself than he is on me. He does forgive me, he does love me, and he is finding happiness despite the pain of infidelity. I am not sure how he is able to do this, but I do feel that he has made a choice to love and forgive me. I don&#039;t deserve this and I didn&#039;t expect it, but I am very thankful to have it.
His choice is not, &#039;to stay with his lying, cheating, spouse&#039;, but to stay with &#039;the love of his life, who he has been with for 30 years, most of them very good&#039;.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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