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Instead of feeling hopeless and victimized, believing you are just one person and can’t do anything, recognize that you need to start telling yourself that you’re going to be in control, in charge of the one thing you really can be in charge of — yourself.

2. Talk to Yourself, Out Loud, Every Day.

Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and make affirmative statements to yourself.

“I am strong. I am smart. I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to.”

Say these over and over to yourself until you start to feel the power of your words inside your body.

3. Make Behavioral Changes to Go With Your New Mindset.

Set short-term goals to put these changes into practice.

a) I will say hello with a smile to five strangers everyday.
b) I will lift my head high and walk with my shoulders back an hour the first day, and an additional hour each day after that.
c) I will turn off my cell (phone and text) one hour a day and interact with a live human being.

These first three behavioral activities may take you a while to implement. Before you start, sit down, read them through carefully and decide how long is a reasonable time for you to accomplish these changes. Remember you have to actually feel different, not just act different. Pick a time frame for yourself, perhaps three to five weeks, then dive in. Don’t procrastinate, no matter how many good reasons you have.

When your three to five weeks is up, and you are handling these tasks well everyday, you are probably starting to wonder what this has to do with changing the world.

Well I have a surprise for you. You already have changed your world by changing the most important thing in your immediate universe — yourself.

You may already be getting comments from friends and family, telling you things like “You seem different but I’m not sure how” or “You seem much more confident when we talk.” You may notice people having a different and positive response to you when you walk past standing tall, smiling and saying hello. They may smile back and say something nice.

These are all very good changes and you can feel proud of yourself even if you do nothing more, but you are going to do much more, because you want to change the world.

4. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen.

My experience with several thousand clients has shown that the visceral process of putting pen to paper and seeing your thoughts go from your mind and heart to your paper aids in forging a stronger commitment. Make a list of the 10 problems in the world that concern you most, the ones you believe most urgently need changing. Look your list over and decide which one is most important to you, then prioritize them, most important to least important. This is backup for later.

5. Take a different piece of paper and write down what specifically needs to be done to bring about this change.

This week, I heard a very disturbing report from a foreign correspondent about how the Chinese are reacting to news of Hilary Clinton’s candidacy for President.

It seems that the Chinese Internet is abuzz with hate mail, calling her an “old witch” and many far-worse things.

When the interviewer asked the correspondent why the Chinese feel this way, he said there were two reasons. One was the fact that as Secretary of State Ms. Clinton was very hard on the Chinese government. The second was that in China, women are viewed as having value only as sexual beings or if successful and powerful, it is thought to be because they are “manly”. In other words, they have no intrinsic value as women, but since men are inherently strong and worthwhile, powerful women must be “manly” (having qualities of men).

What is so upsetting about this is that it negates any value for a woman as her own person, with her own abilities and mind.

All around the world right now, women are being badly mistreated and their worth ignored. They are considered to be objects and abuse is acceptable. How can women expect to have self-worth and feel good about themselves when our societies keep trying to move backward in time and take away their personhood?

I believe that women must start to believe in themselves and each other to develop a true sense of self-esteem. If they haven’t been given this as children from loving and caring parents who respected them, they must get it elsewhere. Often women treat each other with disdain, siding with men to hurt or abuse other women. Things like stoning or other violent punishments in many countries often involve other women as well as men. This is because these women have been basically brainwashed to believe what the men have told them. They are afraid to stand up to the men as they then may be harmed as well.

I think we need all the strong women we can get in the world. Women can start by taking some risks in their everyday life. They can try being in charge in the bedroom sometimes. Many women are too afraid to even ask for what they want sexually for fear of alienating the man in their lives. If your husband or significant other is so threatened he can’t handle your expressing your wants and needs, then he needs to deal with his problem, it’s not yours.

Powerful women are not a threat to confident men, only to insecure ones. Learning to see yourself as a separate and unique individual who can function independently is an important first step towards true independence. A sense of independence is something that is inside you, not something that is given to you by someone else.

Encouragement and support are essential and can come from anywhere or anyone. Reaching out to girlfriends or family members is a good start. Finding something you believe in is equally important. You will gain strength if you are working to accomplish something you value and care about.