Finding a balance  advice for this young abdl?

Heads up, this has some mature stuff in it and you may not want to read it. You have been warned!

I feel really caught right now. I’m stuck in a big struggle with my little side – trying to tell him to keep quiet and shut up because big me needs to do things. I’m repressing him – my little – because I can’t let him out in modern society, not even for the little spurts I need to. I’m not saying I need to prance around in public with my diapers on show – exhibition scares me and I think it’s a little wrong – but being allowed to go outside as a padded little (maybe in a big disguise) is something I can’t do. My girlfriend, my wonderfully supportive girlfriend, has no interest in having any involvement in this past letting me talk to her about it and that leaves my little squirreled away even more. Please don’t misinterpret me here; it would be wrong for me to force this on her or even blame it on her. I’m just saying that I need someone to have some involvement with my little to feel like I’m not repressing him; to let just a little bit of the pressure out so that big me can get on with things for some time without little me clouding his thoughts. I don’t think this is healthy and I bet a lot of you other abdls feel the same way. I even attribute my dlness to this repression – I think and know there is nothing sexy about diapers but fapping of about them and in them is at least some way to get these feelings out.

I’m being very open and honest here with this post and I’ll ask you when commenting to please respect that. I don’t even agree with some of the views I’ve expressed above but I need help trying to find a balance between my big and my little because this is currently a great source of stress in my life and can only be headed somewhere bad – a blow up or a break down, I don’t know which. Do some of you more experienced members have any help you can offer this young closet abdl?

Admins, I’m not certain if this is the correct section for this but feel free to move it if you feel I would get better responses somewhere else. This is a mature post obviously and I might get more suited responses in another section.

Hi Huddles. I'm by no means the most experienced member on the site, but I'll give you my best and treat you with the utmost respect. I understand what you're going though, and I think I might have a few ways to help.

For one, it's good that you do accept your little side, despite the annoyances it can give you sometimes. A few suggestions I have might help give your little side what it wants, while still alowing you to function as an adult.

1. Whever you are feeling heavily influenced by your little side for whatever reason try to take five or ten minutes to be alone, to close your eyes, and to let your thoughts wander. You could imagine a AB scenario, living out your impulses safely in your mind. Maybe even, if you're alone enough, suck your thumb while you think. Even if this doesn't taper your babyish impulses it will still be a few minutes to be alone, gather your thoughts, and relax. This would be perfect to do before bed, while laying in the dark.

2. Spend some of your free time on things that are babyish, yet at the same time hidden enough to avoid suspicion. You can watch shows on your computer with headphones using netflix, hulu, youtube, or some of the brodcasting websites like cartoonnetwork. You can find cheap, childish story books in the bargin-bins in most bookstores, and hide them easy enough with a magazine or book over it. These small things will be giving your little side attention, which should help you control it while you need to be adult.

3. Find someone to talk to who will listen, and if you feel comfrotable, who you can RP with. This will show no sign to the outside world that you and acting babyish, but you would be able to share your feelings with another person who will be there to listen and offer advice on all the little things. The roleplaying would allow your little side an outlet, but even if you don't feel like RP'ing, just talking to someone can help sometimes. If you want, you can talk to me.

I hope this helped, and I hope you can find a ballance with your little side.

Hey Huddles, you are defiantly not alone in this! I'm pretty sure every AB struggles with this. The crap thing about trying to find balance by giving your little more room to move, is that you also give him more room to grow. Bottom line is, it's part of who you are and you have to find ways to satisfy that very real need. I know what you mean about needing someone with some involvement...sharing your little self with someone else validates his existence and provides the attention he/you crave so much. I am really lucky to have a partner who is accepting me...mind you it's only pretty recent but is pretty cool..I have had to control how far I go though, she's awesome to be accepting but is still finding some of it 'weird' of course. I have been trying to find some balance myself, but it's pretty tough....it sometimes clouds my days too! I think you've got to just get on with it...being big when you need to...naturally I find hovering around in ADISC a pretty big help, even if I'm just checking out what others are up to.

Good luck, love yourself, big and little, and take good care of those that you want to love you for you are, but always respect their needs to. oh, and get your self a great plushie if you don't already have one, they never complain about being smothered.

Thank you both for the advice, I definitely think I'll be using some of it! I'm also feeling much better now. I broke down and came out to one of my friends and she said she was cool with me if I wanted to be a little round her. My girlfriend is OK with me doing that with this other friend as well so I ended up having a nice padded time as a little with him getting the recognition he needed. Overall, I feel I'm in a much better place now.

Hey Huddles,
I don't think I can offer you much advice beyond what you have already been given, but I want to thank and commend you for posting something so honest and candid. I know that can be difficult even in an anonymous setting. I think that when these sorts of things are shared and talked about, it is a great learning opportunity for everyone involved. So thanks again, and good luck in your pursuit of balance!