Apr 27, 2016

My lovely amigos!I've finally set up my new blog. I won't post, or comment anymore over here, so you're more than welcome to bookmark the new one instead, and come say Hi! ---- > noukah.com

I've been thinking a lot back and forth, and have come to a decision to keep Instagram (lol, yeah I know. I'm giving it a second chance)and my new blog. And mainly update those two for now, and become my two babies. Well, the blog will become my REAL baby, since I don't own Instagram ;)So here's for a new chapter.

I really love all of you and your support, I can't thank you enough for sticking around, I say this all the time and I really mean it.You keep me going♡

Mar 27, 2016

Are you having a nice time? I've been away, on the countryside during the holidays, had a very well needed rest. I'm a little hermit from time to time, so it's awesome to get away and stay disconnected from the rest of the world for a while, and just do nothing other than eating sleeping and be around cute animals. Had the privilege to meet sheep, dogs, cats and a bunny, yaaay! Seriously, I absolutely ADORE animals. I'll never grow out of them, neverrr.

Speaking of animals, here's a quite recent illustration I've made for the latest issue of Kamratposten. Really enjoyed painting this one for obvious reason - who doesn't love puppies?(If you don't, then we need to talk....)

Hmm what else?

Oh, I'm still setting up my new blog, and I'm still so excited about it!(oh and sorry about the mess on this blog.... The servers have move so I erased a lot of files, since I'm gonna move to Wordpress.) I need to create some descent content and graphics to make it feel inviting. It has to be this genuinly nie, and user-friendly site to browse through. Something that I would read myself. It needs to be hot hotHOT!

Mar 20, 2016

I've done some thinking and I agree, I would miss blogging too much. I love to write longer posts and to discuss with you guys, so it would be such a shame letting that go!

I'm actually looking into other solutions, and thinking about giving Wordpress a chance. I love the endless amount of themes out there, and the design seems so much more professional. I've tried to redesign my blogspot several times, but I've realized something - I'm a terrible webdesigner :D I'm never happy with the design, I don't get coding but I know that this place could become so much better!

So things will change a bit around here. If you're used to visit "noukah.com", then the site will change shortly. I'll keep this current blog as it is, but I'll probably move on soon and continue blogging on Wordpress :) I've found a nice theme that seems to have everything I'm looking for in a blog design, so I feel really excited about this!

Hope you're all having a fantastic weekend! I haven't done much. Or yes I have. I've turned Rosso back into a lion.

I wish I could do it that fast, lol. It takes about an hour if I work fast. Really need to hurry before his grumpiness kicks in. And the amount of hair that I have to clean up afterwards! Oh gosh I could make another cat out of that hair. Or knit a sweather.

Other than that, I've been cleaning my hooome. I love when things look and feel nice and tidy. I'm such a home-dweller.

Mar 17, 2016

Apoo. I'm still feeling better and better for every week, and I can actually barely understand that I was on the bottom only a year ago. So strange how things can turn around like that.

Anyways!

How are things at your end? Good?

I'm really well! I'm still inspired and feel the urge to draw almost every day now and it feels AWESOME. Been enjoying playing with ink lately, as you can see on my pics above reposted from Instapoop.

Speaking of poop. I'm thinking of leaving both Instagram and Facebook.
To be honest I really loved it and I'm such a social media junkie, but it's starting to eat me up. I've realized that I consume waaay to much crap when I should direct my energy elsewhere. Also, now that the algorithms have changed on both platforms, it gets harder and harder to reach out to everyone. I dunno it's just really disappointing. I've put so much work into reaching out to people, and now I actually need to PAY in order for my followers to see my content in their feeds. So much hard work for so little. Plus, I miss out on so many people that I follow. I only see a few everyday, and that's probably because the rest is filtered out.

Nah, alright I'm done ranting. Still trying to get used to me being more transparent, haha. Haven't found the right balance yet ;)

So!

I think, that I'll stick to Tumblr, Behance and Youtube from now on. Would you hate me if I did this? Would you miss blogspot if I abandoned it? I'm only considering this right now. I know that there's something I need to give up, and I definitely need to stop consuming and start producing more. And also start LIVING. Otherwise there's nothing to talk about and no stories to tell. I'm addicted to my phone. Dude, if you could see me during the day, I can't stop checking my apps, I do it every minute. Not kidding, it's almost become an OCD. Somebody will die if I don't check my phone.

Haha, allright I'm out for now.See you sooon! Love ya all, thanks so much for sticking around, I can't say this enough.

Feb 26, 2016

Have you ever felt this way? That you come to a point where you're realizing that you've.. Kinda lost your ideas?

A couple of years ago, I started to feel that I've started to forget why I'm creating. I just kept making art without any specific reason, other than trying to nail that perfect shape or brush stroke. I never intended to tell a story or reveal something about myself. I know that I am so much more! I shouldn't just focus on technique itself. I need to start communicating through my art again. I've lost that ability along the way. Then you start losing yourself as well, and you'll only have empty shallow images left, that won't actually tell you a thing.

Gah, I wanna go back to when i was a kid. I used to come make up stories so easily, and spontaneously! Sit and scribble while I mumbled quietly for myself, making up dialogues between my characters. Even though it didn't make much sense, I was still actually expressing something, and I was telling a story.But sadly, technique kills imagination. Damn it, why haven't anyone told me this before?

I know it's so much easier said than done... But this year, I really wanna find that spontaneous childish part of me. My own stories, not just empty pretty shells. To post things that will make you care. I want you to react, and feel something.How does the masters do? The one who can truly move you?I think that I make things harder than it has to be.

Nov 17, 2015

Sep 20, 2015

This must be a new record. I never meant to stop posting and blogging all together, I tried to soldier on for so long, but I reached the limit of how much I can take. I've barely touched my wacom tablets for months, and absolutely hated Photoshop, tutorials and everything else creative.

No, I haven't abandoned this blog. I know that some of you have reached out to me, asking where I've been and why I'm not posting anything. Well there's always a reason for that, and apparently I'm not a drawing machine.

Long story short, I had quite a few bumps on the road these past two years. I don' recognize myself when I say it out loud, but I think I got depressed? I went from super excited to a state where I just wanted to.. Disappear. Some days I was barely able to get to work, I called in sick and slept instead. And then new shitty things kept happening, it was extremely draining. It got really scary at some points. I had zero control over my feelings, all I could see was complete darkness. You know that feeling when you just can't grasp why you feel so empty. You just wanna lie down on the floor and scream your lungs out, wishing those feelings could go away. I admit it, I was actually a bit judgmental when it came to suicidal tendencies, but suddenly I could relate to other people having them. I could actually see why they would make such decisions... Yeah it also makes me think about Robin Williams aka Genie. It's so sad that he chose to break free, and it makes me wonder if he felt the way I did, only he may have been like that for a much longer time :(

You don't really want to feel this way, you do want to be "normal". But slowly you'll start to believe that you've got no other choice. And you try to hide those feelings, because it something "ugly". I looked for help in time, it never got this bad for me. I think it's helping actually.

To prevent a wall of text I guess I can put it this way: Lots of things has happened lately that affected me and my life. It's been very hard on me, and it sent me into this bad effing spiral. The cherry on top was that I recently lost my cat Java to HCM, only about a month ago. It tore me apart, I can't believe that he's not here anymore. So yeah I guess I'm getting hardened. He and Rosso actually helped me a lot through my darkest times, they forced me to maintain some sort of routine and not giving up completely.

I don't want to give any promises, I don't know if or when I'll start posting more regularly again. I've been feeling better lately, I'm much happier despite the loss of Java and some other stuff going on. I'm more joyful but still not very inspired to create something new. Even though I had urger to draw, my mind goes blank and I get paralyzed when I actually try to. Been worried for a long time, that maybe I just don't like drawing anymore..? I almost considered quitting all together. I guess I need more time to heal myself before I'm ready to be creative and excited over art again.

It feels like I should post more about this later on. I can imagine that it's a bit confusing for the ones who don't know me in person.

But I'm alive and I'm doing much better! I still need time though, like I mentioned before. Need to focus only on myself for a while.

Fuck you, setbacks. I won't let you break me.

And if you feel like this right now, THEN KEEP GOING and talk to someone. There's help to get and it can get better!

Jan 14, 2015

Made my first donation on Patreon(a new crowdfunding thingie similar to Kickstarter) I decided to support Peleng, cause I'm a huge fan of his art. I'm thinking about donating to 2-3 more people there. It feels fair for me. I have a good feeling about this, as I'm believing that this could help artists if it's done wisely. 1 dollar per month. In one year, that's a descent sushi here in Sweden.

3 things that I think are benefitial with Patreon:

1. Less need for hunting freelance gigs.
You'll be less dependent on the clients, and you get a chance to work on your pet projects with support from fans and followers.

2. Higher standard for artists.
It's a chance to set a higher standard in the industry and push up the prices for artists. I think that most artists are taken advantage of nowadays and it's simply not fair.

3. You own your brand
Artists have a chance to get more time and to build their own brand instead of working for others all the time. You keep the rights of your own work and products.

I have a Patreon too, you can find it HERE.
I'm not offering any perks right now,(you can help feeding my cats if you want to, hehe) but I'm planning to make something exclusive for the followers there. I appreciate any kind of support I can get :)

And of course, I'll keep blogging and posting online as usual, but my ultimate dream would be to replace all the freelance gigs with personal projects that's really valuable to others as well. It would be so awesome to become more independent and to truly develop your own voice.