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When Julie Smolyansky was forced to take over her family business at age 27, she faced some very harsh and close criticism. Her father, Michael Smolyansky, suffered a fatal heart attack at age 55, leaving behind a company, Lifeway, a $12 million dairy business he’d started with his own hands in 1986.

“The day that he died, my dad’s best friend said, ‘oh, sell your stock—there’s no way this girl can run a company,’” remembers Smolyansky. That critic wasn’t alone, she says, as stock prices fell.

Smolyanski, who’d joined her father’s enterprise five years prior, took the reins regardless of ill omens from haters and her lack of experience. Her brother Edward came on as CFO. She showed up her dad’s friend, as well as the shareholders who dumped their stock—last year Lifeway’s kefir yogurt products brought in $98 million and shares are up 785% since she took over. That early vote of doubtfulness still burns a little. “It continues to be something that drives me today.”

The disparity between men and women in executive positions and the prejudices against women have to be confronted before they are erased. “There’s a lot of sexism that exists all across the board,” says Smolyansky. That sexism is a weakness. “I think that diversity is magical and that’s where the strongest teams happen.”

Television journalist Matt Lauer’s recent questioning of GM head Mary Barra regarding her ability to lead while fulfilling her role as a mother points to a double-standard among male and female executives. “No one ever asks a man whether they can run a company and be a father,” says Smolyansky. The attitude that begs questions like Lauer’s sends a subtle message to young women that they have to sacrifice motherhood to excel in their careers. Barra’s interview has started a conversation regarding what we expect from men and women in leadership roles, says Smolyansky, one that touches on whether both sexes are harmed by expectations of obsessive devotion to one’s job. “I think that the fact that there are more women in the workplace is creating a question around balance that’s good for both men and women to address. The 18-hour workday is not good for anyone.”

According to Smolyansky, women have to exorcise the social messages that tell them their leadership qualities are suspect. One tool that she feels benefitted her development was taking women’s studies in college. “I had the academic study of gender bias and discrimination.” Women have to have their radars tuned to detect those messages that society sends telling young women that they lack in the qualities that make good leaders.

Role models are also important. For Smolyansky, her mother provided an image of a strong woman. Arriving in Chicago in 1976 from Kyiv, Ukraine, Ludmila Smolyansky started her own deli within two years. Her stores and supply warehouses were her daughter’s playground, at times. “Seeing my mom balance motherhood, family and business was incredibly empowering for me.”

Leadership can also be taught, in men and women, and schools could do more to strengthen their leadership curriculum. Smolyansky endorses taking on positions of authority and responsibility while in high school and college, even if it’s something as mundane as organizing a school dance. “The person with the straight A’s might never really be a leader,” she says. They might be the person that a leader hires to implement projects or innovate, but they might not have that ability to lead other people and that’s what we really need.”

Public speaking is also a boon to an aspiring executive. Exposure to it – even when fear creeps in – is how one becomes more comfortable. “People are terrified of it and I think that’s one of the things that keep people from leading.”