Ah, a new addition to the forum section no one reads or cares about. I don't care. I have the flu (Yay!) and the meds are giving me some seriously demented dreams. So there were some things I was thinking of and I do not have enough wits about me to be constructive in a productive fashion. Capitalizing the letter i is proving to be a challenge tonight. Did i mention that I went to bed at 7:30 and woke up about the time I would be getting home from work? It's teh awesomes.

1. Transformers are cyborgs

Inside that giant sexy 10,000 piece CGI rendered body, there is an organic brain. Just a brain. The original Cybertronians were meatsacks just like the rest of us, but they found rather than cocking about with sentient computers and all that, it was easier to just hardwire an organic brain in a nanite built metal exo-body. The brain is sealed deep inside the torso, the most heavily protected section. The body is a form of self-image, like residual appearance as described in the Matrix. Why are there female robots (which makes zero effing sense) because the brain inside still labels itself female or male, or whatever gender. After a while, the brain looses the labels it applied to its fleshy body and the transformer in question becomes an androgynous 'male' type creation. The Mi-Go use human brains to operate their robots and machinery and I think this is a core concept from the movie Skyline (did anyone go and see that one?)

So the original transformers were split into peacetime operations (construction, mining, exploration, rescue, heavy industry) and military applications. Your transformer ambulance is going to get to the hospital faster and safer than an organic pilot driving it. Same goes for military applications, the self repairing sentient war machines are brutally effective and the tank-bot can go from long range combat with its main gun to CQC in a matter of seconds.

That is until things start going wrong. I imagine that criminals and volunteers would have gone first, the Cybertronian Elite Guard being decorated but maimed war veterans, and the mining and menial tasks being unredeemed criminals. This would last for a while, but as the ranks grow larger there is going to be dissidence and eventual rebellion. Given the cost of the procedure, once you join up, it is for the rest of your considerable existance and personal freedom is shot straight out the door. The Decepticons form from military bots that go AWOL, not hard to do when you can turn into a space capable fighter craft. The war escalates as more and more peacetime 'bots are pressed into defending Cybertron from rogue agents, while real rogues, operating in disguise as peacetime bots (hence that whole Decepti prefix) are promoting their anarchist agenda and liberated mind-slaved autobots.

Rather than join the Decepticons in slaughtering the Cybertronians, they fight to defend them. There are plenty who do join the decepticons, but not all of them. Plus the Decepticons have no qualms about bolstering their ranks by brain-stealing Cybertronians to make new Decepticons who are brain-slaved just like the original autobots. Your named Decepticons are sentient and self aware, while the nameless drones are just that, nameless drones that fight and execute orders as given by their masters.

The war takes on a huge scale as the Cybertronians control a vast network of worlds linked together via space bridges. one captured space bridge, and a Decepticon armada can invade in minutes. This shuts down commerce, and one by one, the world fall to the Decepticon onslaught. Many worlds survive with Autobot protectors, but these are the exception rather than the rule.

What does this mean in the long term?

Decepticons are warriors and destroyers. While there are groups like the Constructicons, there are not enough to go around to support dozens of Decepticon worlds. Like locusts, they can only survive on the pillaging of other established worlds. Hence, why they are interested in worlds as primitive as Earth. We can be their meat slaves, building things for them, as well as providing fresh meaty brains for more decepticons. Plus, they have discovered that a few humans have what it takes to become a named decepticon, not just another nameless drone.

So the Autobot worlds exist much like the Roman Empire, magnificent and massively built, connected with judiciously guarded space bridges, and often run in concert with as many organic races as possible. The Decepticons are the barbarians tribes, mostly milling about but becoming an impressive horde when a capable leader comes along and whips them into a semblance of order.

2. Transformer Eggs

The term is used loosely. The generative material (a packet of stem cell-nanites) is placed on a suitable host (aka a tank, vehicle, etc). The first order of business that the packet will create a shell around this object, and after ascertaining what it is and saving its pattern, breaks it down into a nanite sludge. After a while, an embryonic 'bot is formed, and the vesicle for holding the brain is created and extruded to the surface. The 'egg' will remain like this, dormant, near indefinitely. A fresh still living brain is then placed in the vesicle which is drawn back into the nanite core, where it is hard wired to the body and an energon based life support system. Once this period is complete, the new transformer emerges as either a low sentience drone, or a stumbling confused fully intelligent and self aware transformer. If they don't stumble and scream when they hatch, they are a drone. Autobots don't like to use drones, and prefer to make their new recruits from volunteers who are conditioned for the process. This means that while the Decepticons have the advantage of numbers, overall the quality of autobot forces is much higher.

PoisonAlchemist: Man Muro, you boost my confidence and then you just go crush it with a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.Pariah: Don't tell him things like that, if his head gets any bigger he'll float off like a weather ballon :p

I was also struck by the fact that the original Transformers Cartoon had the autobots spread all across different makes and models of cars, even if some of them were generic. The remakes have all of them as either military hardware, or GM built cars. I had some other fevered ideas.

1. ProwlOriginally a Nissan 260-280 ish police car. 2010 upgrade, how about a South Carolina State Dodge Charger police car with the black front tubular steel bumper. Quiet, but won't think twice about beating some Decepticon ass. Barricade should probably sneak back home.

2. IronhideOriginally a minivan, then a Topkick heavy truck. I live the truck state and I have seen exactly one Topkick. Rather than going back to the minivan idea, Ironhide should be a Ford Excursion, and be red instead of black makes everything better.

4. BumblebeeI love the Camaro, i really do, and the Old Camaro Bumblebee more that the new Camaro Bumblebee. But in the OS, he was a whiny annoying VW Beetle. I wont send him back to that personal hell, but I would make him something a little less badass. Something like a European model Ford Focus or Ford Fiesta (one of those with the Volvo V6 in it) He is still not the Urkell of autobots, but he is back to more of his scout-y type roots.

5. Optimus PrimeI like the revamped Prime as a long nose Semi. MotorMaster, Prime's black Semi rival however will keep the cab-over-engine design, its both more metal, and more brutal.

6. JazzOriginally a Porshe of some species, he is revamped as a Pontiac Solstice. That would have been okay if the Solstice didn't suck. It looks awesome, but that is about all. Instead, I would revamp him into the Audi TT roadster. Keeps the small size and the hipster cool thing going, without wandering into lame GM car territory.

PoisonAlchemist: Man Muro, you boost my confidence and then you just go crush it with a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.Pariah: Don't tell him things like that, if his head gets any bigger he'll float off like a weather ballon :p

7. SunstreakerI have usually shortened him to Sunstreak, and while the original was a Lambo Countach, the revised Sunstreaker remains a Lambo, but is instead the newer and much more capable Lamborghini Murcielago SuperVeloce. Sunstreaker remains one of the most brutal and dangerous of autobots, vain to the extreme and violent to boot.

8. SideswipeSunstreaker's twin, Sideswipe take a very slightly different tack. Rather than the SuperVeloce Murcielago, he is the Superleggera variant. Lighter and more agile, he is still just a hair slower than his power maxed brother. He is still egotistical, vain, and sometimes leaves people wondering why he is an autobot

9. WheeljackA childhood favorite, Wheeljack is listed as being a Lancia Statos Rally Race car. Absolutely awesome, there can be no doubt, but not very subtle, and not much for avoiding attention. While the Lambo twins are swathed in attention, Lamborghinis are entirely unknown on the road. Lancia's are another thing. I was left with two possible ideas

Idea 2: Mercedes Benz Actros Heavy Truck, this puts him on scale with Prime for size, but going with the mad scientist idea, the trailer could be his rolling lab, and he could do 'drone' work on a vehicle in the trailer while he was driving down the road. Being a scientist, he would be much less of a front line combatant, but like Doc Brown there is no telling what might come rolling out of the trailer to fight you.

10. TrailbreakerA generic SUV that bemoans his lack of fuel economy or speed? Sounds like the Revised Trailbreaker is an H2 Hummer.

11. HoundAs a Willis type Jeep, Hound is somewhat comical in his portrayal as a fighter. Upgraded to a National Guard HUMVEE, he is larger, more aggressive, and has a good deal more firepower. Insert the Full Metal Jacket Drill Seargent and you have the new and improved Hound. Maggot.

12. BluestreakA comrade of Prowl's, as similar model police car, Bluestreak, the PTSD war survivor is an Alfa Romeo 159 in light blue livery. He can change his color to match local color patterns, but his distaste for war is mirrored in his favoring French built cars.

13. MirageAn F1 car is hardly a disguise, it is something that will bring out police pursuit for miles around. Arrogant, distainful, powerful, untrusted, and still an Autobot. The Citroen GT Concept or Citroen GT Road Car come to mind. Both are over the top supercars with retarded horsepower and styling that is part spaceship and part shark.

14. WindchargerThe fastest of all the autobots, rather than a generic sportscar, Windcharger is now a Bugatti Veyron SS, full gloss red. Impulsive to a fault, and capable of destroying his tires in seconds.

Reproduction starts from the sexual female, who may reproduce asexually or sexually. Within her body, she may produce a small larvae. Without the presence of a spermatophore, the nanomechanical larvae carries only the essential 'genes' to transform a body into a drone as per the egg process. With the presence of a spermatophore at its formation, the nanomechanical larvae is capable of producing a fully intelligent, sexual Transformer. Secondary sexual characteristics are a purely aesthetic decision from the original creator race, and it should be noted that not all male or female Transformers continue to display secondary sexual characteristics.