New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was sworn in to his second term yesterday, which inspired this new segment called, "Chris Christie: May I Sit?"; Janet Yellen, a car stuck in the snow; and a Top Ten list.
We see Governor Christie standing in an auditorium with many others. He is in the front row. He begins to lower himself into his seat but notices no one else is about to sit. He re-rises before plopping down into his seat. A speaker approaches the lectern and states, "Please be seated."
Christie and the rest then descend into their waiting chairs.

Dave tells a joke about a rich guy showing off his riches, Warren Buffet, who is offering a billion dollars to anyone who can perfectly fill out this year's March Madness brackets. You have as much chance of doing that as you have dating Kate Upton. Guess what . . . if you win the billion dollars, there's a good chance Kate Upton would go on a date with you. Dave requests that joke's cue card from Tony Cue Card Mendez. Dave folds it up numerous times, then walks it over to a burning wood stove and tosses it in. The cue card didn't provide the laughs it was hired to do, but it does throw off some fine heat. Dave warms himself that the spotlight does not provide.
Russian President Vladimir Putin, according to Dave, is the person behind this whole Edward Snowden ordeal. There is only one person who can speak some sense into Mr. Putin. This guy: We show a clip of Seattle Seahawks Richard Sherman shouting about.

C-SPAN is currently running a series on the First Ladies of the United States. In the newest installment, they talked to Barbara Bush about a number of topics, including her fondness for former President Bill Clinton. We take a look.
We see Mrs. Bush in an interview. While expressing her affection for President Clinton, she shows how much she admires the man by opening her jacket. On the shirt underneath we read, "I ‘heart' Bubba".

ACT 2:
Dave expresses his hope for the Super Bowl, the same hope as millions across the county. He's hoping for a blizzard and the worst weather possible for the upcoming Super Bowl in New York . . . . I mean, New Jersey.

Dave wonders how that car is doing. We take a look at a car stuck in the snow in someone's backyard. Why it is in the backyard nobody is quite sure. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. The car cannot free itself from the slippery snow. How about some cardboard?
And then Dave tries to talk to the new Chairperson of the Federal Reserve Janet Yellen. We go to a split screen. Dave tries to converse, but Ms. Yellen seems too preoccupied with some paperwork. Looks like she is examining her taxes. She does not respond to Dave's pleas. We go away from her and then Dave wants to relook at the stuck car in the snow . . . and then back to Janet Yellen . . . and then back to the car. By this time it was apparent Dave was just toying with the Control Room to see if they were up to his challenge. And the Control Room was. Dave couldn't shake them.

TOP TEN: THINGS ROB FORD MIGHT BE SAYING IN THIS VIDEO – we take a look at the recent video at a fast-food restaurant of Mr. Ford acting . . . . well, like Mr. Ford. He's rambling about something, but it's kind of hard to decipher.

THINGS ROB FORD MIGHT BE SAYING IN THIS VIDEO
8. "Which way is the counter?"
3. "Where's Bieber with my weed?"
2. "How am I not in prison?"

ACT 3:
MARTIN SCORSESE
He's nominated for an Academy Award for his direction of the film, "The Wolf of Wall Street." Dave asks about the scene where Jonah Hill gets punched out . . . actually punched and knocked out. Jonah told the story when he was here. Dave wanted to hear Martin's side of the story. Martin admits that Jonah did get hit, and it was "suggested" by Mr. Scorsese that he should get hit. It would be more realistic, plus Jonah was making Martin mad over some things. It's one of the perks of being a director.
Martin shares a lot of stories about Robert Deniro. Deniro is shy, but relaxed. He's been known to fall asleep at dinner parties. Dave recalls when Deniro was here. Dave couldn't help but notice he acted as if he had to be someplace else; checking his watch, looking over at the exit; wanting to be there than here. Deniro and Scorsese worked together in "Raging Bull" in 1980. That's a film that seems to get better with age. Some say it was the best movie of the decade, though it didn't win Best Movie of the year. Off the top of my head, I think that went to "Ordinary People."
Back on the old show, Dave would present items from the history of film for the show. One item was Cary Grant's pajamas. Martin Scorsese liked the idea and sent his favorite slippers he wore while filming "Raging Bull." Not knowing if they were actually from Martin Scorsese, we kept loose track of them; so loose that we lost them. They had been dumped and incinerated. The apologies went on for quite a long time. Good news, though, we were able to recover the ashes. Dave presents Mr. Scorsese with the urn of slipper ashes.
"The Wolf of Wall Street" – it's in theaters now. From what I hear, it's best you buckle your seatbelt. It takes you on quite a ride.

ACT 5:
ANNOUNCE: "Join us again tomorrow as Dave welcomes Rachel Maddow, Spike Jonze, and No Age. When we come back, the heartwarming story of an orphaned clam that was raised by oysters."

ACT 6:
ALLISON WILLIAMS
From the HBO hit series, "Girls." Dave thanks Allison for the incredible effort it took for her to be here tonight. She flew in from Paris, circled JFK, diverted to Pittsburgh because of the blizzardous weather, sat for hours, experienced mechanical problems on the plane, the aircraft had to be refueled and de-iced, and then made it back to JFK. Dave blames it on Obamacare. The entire trip took 14-and-a-half hours.
Allison shows a photo of the family's lovely dog that passed away. She's the daughter of NBC anchor Brian Williams. Instead of getting a new dog, her dad has adopted a fox in their backyard and he's been feeding it. We see footage of the fox in the backyard. Congratulations must go out to Brian Williams. He may be the only dad in America who knows how to operate the video-record function on his cellphone.
Allison Williams: "Girls" can be found on the HBO, Sunday nights at 10:00 PM.

ACT 7:
CULTS: From their album, "Static," Cults performed "Keep Your Head Up."

And that was our show for Wednesday, January 22, 2014.

I think this is the problem people are having with Seattle Seahawks Richard Sherman's angry spew after the game on Sunday. His team just won their biggest game in years and Sherman made the biggest play of his career . . . and seconds later Richard Sherman is angry? Why the anger? Where's the rejoice? So much anger . . . . . A guy with so much anger when the moment called for elation turned me off as it did many others, I feel.

The extra point to be eliminated? Two years too late for Rob Gronkowski.

It seems the only answer I'm getting right on Jeopardy these days is "Aleve!"

You mean . . . Dennis Rodman wasn't a good ambassador for us to North Korea? You mean, maybe we shouldn't have paid attention to him or his antics? Wow! Who would have thought? And while I'm on it, I saw a headline on the Drudge the other day about Cher feeling let down by President Obama.

Tuesday night Final Jeopardy . . . . again these very smart people wagered the wrong amount. At least this time it didn't end up hurting anyone. The person with the 2nd most bet enough to beat the 1st place person if the leader got it wrong. But she didn't bet enough to cover if the person in 3rd place bet it all and got it right. Lucky for 2nd place, 3rd place got the Final wrong.
What is wrong with these people? Stop reading trivia books leading up to your appearance and take a moment to figure out how much to bet in Final Jeopardy.

Replays coming to baseball? I can't wait for the first challenge to a phantom tag or a shortstop turning a double play. Good fun!