Rome bird poop emergency will mean crappy winter for tourism

I’m pretty sure there’s a screenplay somewhere in this story, though I can’t decide if the heroes, a bird expert and a bird slaying ninja, should fall in love in the end or if the ninja should die extravagantly while saving the bird expert.

Oh right, the story. Welp, Rome is beset by a relentless shower of bird turds right now as roughly four million starlings settle in for their usual winter loitering in the capital. The typical anti-starling measures – including pruning trees and broadcasting cries of birds of prey through loudspeakers – were not employed this year due to Italy’s ongoing austerity problems, and now parts of Rome are caked in slippery, gross guano.

Pedestrians are reportedly arming themselves with umbrellas and residents are banging pots and pans to disperse the birds like in olden times.

For the record, here’s a “common starling.” Look how tiny! What the cow are they eating to make so much poo?