Short story

When people got bored and stopped using the internet, Google came to me. They came to beg. They wanted me to fix it, to make it better. I told them to just let it rest for a while, let people catch up on their board games. Straight away they knew that I’d been paid by the board game companies to say that, and so, they offered to double whatever Hasbro had promised me. Always being prepared, I had the solution ready – new emoticons. Here are the international emoticons for:

__&__ "I’ve fallen on the ice and I can’t get up."

A * * -8 "A snowman is attacking my tent."

H_O_H "There’s a boulder on the rugby pitch. Someone call the police!"

~~\o/~~ "I see a drowning man, but I can’t swim, so he will have to drown."

SSS $ "A gang of snakes are burning another snake at the stake. It’s not God’s work."

(}< ### "I’ve developed x-ray vision, but all I can see are traintracks."

FOUR STARS in RNR magazine “Countrified pop in the Nick Lowe mould”

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About me

I’m Norman Lamont, a singer-songwriter who came of age in the early 70s. I was inspired by the singer-songwriters and bands of that period, especially on the UK labels like Island. If you like any of the artists I’ve written about, you might like my albums too.