If helium existed in a solid form, and you ate it would you get heavier or lighter?

If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

If love is blind, is lingerie considered Braille?

If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they stick Teflon to the pan?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? (Richard Lederer)

If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

If stores claim to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, why do they have locks on the doors?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?

If there's so much laborsaving machinery, why don't I have more free time?

If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?

If the world is spinning so quickly why don't we all get dizzy?

If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

If we weren't meant to keep starting over, would God have granted us monday?

If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

If you're only as old as you feel, how come I can't retire yet? (Robin Alumbaugh)

If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are your waiting? (Stephen Levine)

I have lived through the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties. Am I now about to live through the noughties?

I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it?

I never spit in your drink; why do you smoke in my air?

I saw a sign that said "seeing eye dogs only" who is supposed to read this? the dog?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and never his prescription? (Finley Peter Dunne 1867-1936)

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?" I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."

Was it a rich or a smart person who said: "Money can't buy happiness."?

What do birdies see when they faint?

What do butterflies feel when they're in love?

What does an atheist do when he drives up behind a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker and that car doesn't move when the traffic light turns green?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

What exactly is "Unsweetened" iced Tea? Did they take the sugar back out? (W. Lanza)

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

What is listed as the hair colour on a drivers license of a bald headed man?

What sees a blind man when he's dreaming?

What would the world be like without hypothetical situations?

When your parents get finished spanking you they say " you better dry it up or I'll give you something to cry for." What do they think that a whipping is.

Where does the white go when the snow melts?

Who puts the thin ice sign in the middle of the thin ice?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there so many songs for Christmas but barely any for all the other holidays?

Why are they called apartments when they are together.

Why are wise men and wise guys the exact opposites?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why can't life's problems hit us when we're 17 and know everything?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speech maker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? (Kin Hubbard)

Why does Queen Elizabeth, who has people to put on her make-up, do her hair, and needs no cash or identification carry a purse?

Why does the sun on the Raisan Bran cereal box wear sunglasses?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do men have nipples?

Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?

Why do people have "hot water heaters"? If your water is hot, why heat it?

Why do people keep junks in their garage, while put things that worth thousands of dollars out on the driveway?

Why do people point at their wrists when they ask what time it is? I know where my watch is! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

Why do people say the alarm went "off" when it actually sounded like it was "on"?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why do some displays of "I love you only" Valentine cards sell them in multi-packs?

Why do the hours at work drag on endlessly when the years seem to fly past?

Why do the sick people have to walk all the way to the back of the pharmacy for medicine when cigarettes can be purchased at the front door?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?

Why do they call it research, when looking for something new?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?

Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?

Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?

Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Why do we act like we know what someones talking about when we have no idea?

Why do we always want to grow up when we're young and be younger when we're old?

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? (Richard Lederer)

Why do we have so much enthusiasm for criticism

and so much criticism for enthusiasm?

Why do we look in our handkerchiefs after blowing our nose?

Why do we say there is nothing on TV tonight when there obviously is something on?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it new and improved? If it's new how can it be an improvement of something and if it's improved how can it be something new?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why is it that the uneducated minds always criticize the brilliant minds? (Kelly Nelson)

Why is it that when one man kills another, he is hanged as a murderer, but when one man kills millions, he is hailed as a conqueror?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why is it that you sit in front of your TV and behind your computer?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? (Richard Lederer)

Why is lemonade made with artificial flavoring, while dishwasher soap is made with real lemons?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?

Why is the practice called "fasting" when time passes so slowly when you're doing it?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why lightens the sun our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business", always be followed by, but?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Wouldn't it be strange if the God who made His people free and happy should then give them commands that enslaved them again? Doesn't it seem more likely that what He gave them were rules for remaining free and happy? (Mark Finley)

You can't have everything...where would you put it?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

My First Step

Hi guys,I actually thoght that i would get some kind of intimation when things get posted on the net . But today i realised that the blog is up and running. So here comes my first post.Well nothin to rite.....exams jus got over yest .

Those who achieve great things

Those who achieve great things are not any smarter or more capable thanothers. They have simply decided to make use of what's available to them.

Those who achieve great things encounter challenges, obstacles and problems,just as everyone else does. Achievers have simply chosen to work their waythrough the difficult challenges, rather than be stopped by them.

Those who achieve great things experience plenty of setbacks anddisappointments. They have simply decided to take renewed determination,instead of discouragement, from those disappointments.

Those who achieve great things have exactly the same amount of timeavailable in each day as does everyone else. They have simply committed tomaking the most of each moment.

Those who achieve great things are not any different than anyone else exceptfor this. They decide to do it, and then follow through with persistent,consistent action.

In this way, very ordinary people realize quite extraordinary levels ofachievement. In this way, you can do it too. ;)

our trip..

Boss...are we going on a trip or not??? please confirm..viral also wanted to know cos he otherwise has to go to gujarat. Ritesh when are you coming back..remember my books ka cd...get as many books as possible...Lingu, hows infy?? Has anyone of you got the book.."Snapshots from Hell"..need it desperately!!!!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

hello

Hi people!!sorry for not posting for long time........enjoying my final days of hostel life....coming back to mumbai soon!and sachin what heppened to your two day outdoor plan-----never heard anything on it..