Monday, December 31, 2012

The upcoming “fiscal cliff”, a.k.a. “austerity bomb”, and the looming
debt ceiling crisis, reminds me of the following emails, which I wrote during
the congressional debt-ceiling crisis of 2011. In them, I satirically took on
the persona of a Chinese Communist Party apparatchnik, sending a message to various
acquaintances and friends; each satirically given the persona of a higher-up
official. I took on that point of view to see if things made more sense that
way. Some of my correspondents wrote back, one in character.

These emails propose an offer that the Chinese would be foolish
not to make, and the Americans would be hard-pressed not to accept. And it has
precedent in our own history.

*******

From: Comrade Hellerstein, Finance Ministry

To: Comrade Pournelle, Defense Ministry

Dear Comrade Pournelle:

I write you to propose a way for us, the People’s Republic of China,
to

reclaim Taiwan
without firing a shot. Our army is strong and could

easily over-run the rebel province, were it not for the Americans.
Also

it would be a shame to damage the property while repossessing it;
and

the use of force could have a negative propaganda effect.

The key is to convince the Americans to go. Fortunately they are

trillions of dollars in debt to us, due to their foolish greed and
our

foresight. The solution, then, is simple; we need merely buy Taiwan.

This has historical precedent; consider the Louisiana
Purchase.

The procedure would be simplicity itself. We would merely agree to

cancel part of the debt we hold over them, along with interest
payments

owed to us; and in exchange the Americans withdraw all of their
armed

forces from the area; and then, for political cover, hold a
referendum

on the island, agreeing to the transfer of power. The election
will, of

course, be fixed to ensure the correct outcome; the Americans are

skilled at such things.

Some of your comrades in the Party will object that the barbarous

Americans are too proud to betray an ally. They are indeed proud
and

bellicose, but they are also corrupt, and they are economically

vulnerable. So much so that our trillions of dollars of holdings
might

depreciate badly, soon; so I suggest that we bargain that debt
away

while it’s still worth something.

Sincerely,

Comrade Hellerstein

**

Are you sure this isn’t happening?

I like it

Jerry Pournelle

Chaos Manor

**

From: Comrade Hellerstein, Finance Ministry

To: Comrade Pournelle, Defense Ministry

Dear Comrade Pournelle:

Our plan is working perfectly. The Americans are aware of what’s

happening, but they can’t prove it, and they lack the political will to

resist. Right now they are too busy destroying their own credit rating.

I would like to brag that our agents were responsible for that triumph,

but it seems that the Americans are doing it to themselves. Amazing!

Comrade Anderson inform me that there is another historical precedent

for our plan to purchase Taiwan; namely, the absorption of the Republic

of Texas into the United States, in exchange for assuming the Republic’s debt.

Buying instead of invading Taiwan will of course be an ideological

victory for capitalism. Perhaps the Americans will console themselves

with that.

Sincerely,

Comrade Hellerstein

**

From: Comrade Hellerstein, Finance Ministry

To: Comrade Johnson, Covert Operations

Dear Comrade Johnson:

I write you to inquire about your cadre’s role in the upcoming

self-ruination of our American rival. As you may recall from a recent

email, I was planning, with Comrade Pournelle’s office, to arrange for

the purchase of Taiwan. We Chinese need merely cancel several trillion

dollars of American debt, in exchange for abandoning their military

bases on Taiwan, plus a fixed election for political cover. However, if

American parties have created a ‘trigger mechanism’ by which unpopular

cuts to the poor and to the military will take place in a year if

nothing gets done; and nothing is what this Congress is most able to

do. It is wu-wei in action; doing by non-doing. How gratifying that the

Americans, those most Western of Westerners, have unconsciously adopted

this Daoist concept. They have yet to explicitly understand that Daoism

is for when you are losing. Winners are Confucians.

It is now Monday afternoon; the House must vote on the plan by evening;

so maybe the default will happen anyhow. But even if Tea Partiers and

Progressives in the House fail to rebel against this deal distasteful

to all, even so it sets up America for renewed decline. To repeat;

Hooverist austerity is now the law of the land; and this in the midst

of a capitalist crisis. This policy is designed to create a decade of

decline, stagnation and slow recovery.

And so, again, I hail you, Comrade Fish, and your cadre, for being the

architects of the Second Great Depression. As you may recall, Comrade,

the great Lenin once remarked that ‘worse is better’. The more obvious

the dysfunction of the system, the greater the options are for the

committed revolutionary.

The question is, which revolution? And it is notorious that

revolutions eat their children. The Tea Partiers in particular should

note that, by merely threatening federal default, they have made a

large number of rich and powerful enemies, both foreign and domestic.

Revolutionary theatrics, that’s one thing. Endangering the national

credit line, that’s something else entirely.

For you can preach love, peace and liberty in the wilderness, and the

authorites will ignore you; you can tell an army of followers to

prepare for the end of the world, and you’ll still barely be noticed;

but if you throw the moneylenders out of the temple, then rest assured,

Comrade, that the Man will nail you to a cross!

Sincerely,

Comrade Hellerstein

**

From: Comrade Anderson, Foreign Affairs Ministry

To: Comrade Hellerstein, Finance Ministry

Comrade Hellerstein:

Comrade Johnson is unfair in referring to the “stupidity” of the neo-cons, or
as my cell refers to them, Project Tar Baby. One of the threats to the
peaceable expansion of the People’s Republic is the threat of sudden military
action by the President of the United
States. We have developed the now obvious
countermeasure: if an American army occupies a country, it cannot be removed in
less than eighteen months, unless it leaves its equipment behind; in neither
case is it a credible threat.

Unfortunately, the neocons are not under strict party discipline: only some are
agents, others are Trotskyites, pursuing a World Empire which will produce
World Socialism after its collapse; yet others have a false consciousness: they
have become interested only in the Empire for their lifetime (now short), no
matter what happens to it. Fortunately, there is a dialectical harmony among
them.

We therefore encourage the use of American force in as many countries as
possible, as long as they’re not us. The use of Afghanistan for the first example
was controversial. since those forces could have been effective against us; so
some Project members sought to divert as many forces as possible to Iraq; but the Americans would have invaded Afghanistan
sooner or later, and getting it over with also served to deter reactionary
Uighur elements in our Northwest.

Nevertheless, I must commend Comrade McCain for his effort to emmesh US forces in Georgia, which would also have
occupied the Russians. Our long term interest, of course, is an American army
in Israel: that’s the other
end of Asia, and they’ll never get out.

Our backup plan is the Balanced Budget Amendment, which our agents should be
able to phrase so that no military action is possible unless it is budgeted for
six to eighteen months in advance; that’s as good as Kandahar, and takes care
of the Navy as well. (It is true that a nuclear war will be fought off the
shelf, and so be possible under the BBA, but that doesn’t matter to us - we
have a deterrent.)