An aid worker diary from Darfur, Sudan: real stories, random observations and occasional rants on the lives of Darfur’s two million displaced people and the somewhat bewildered humanitarian agencies who are trying to help them.
Sleepless in Sudan is just another website on just another violent conflict in Africa – but uncensored, direct and without the sugar-coating that the tightly controlled and highly politicized environment demands from the official sources.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Sorry, but this blog is now closed.

It's somewhat bittersweet to write those words after having ranted and raved, moaned and marvelled, and generally obsessed about Darfur for so long. Of course, it's not that I have run out of things to rant about.

In this case, it's merely personal circumstance (an agreement with my employer to be re-deployed to another crisis after having completed my mission here in Darfur) that brings an abrupt end to my brief but passionate stint as an anonymous Darfur blogger.

Letting go is never easy - and I'm bemused to discover that leaving Darfur is filled with just as much stress, frustration and heartache as living here has been. This blog has provided relief to me not just in terms of self-therapy (at the end of the day, we all just want to have a good rant), but also through the virtual friendships, offers of support, and thoughtful comments that reached me every day through that shaky satellite connection.

But this blog was (I hope) less about me, and more about Darfur, so with that bit of self-reflection out of the way, it's worth getting back to the point. Darfur. And writing about it.

Well, I am hoping that one of my friends or colleagues who are still working in the region will be persuaded to begin another blog - if anything, to provide all of you with a new opinion, perspective, and plenty of real-time information about the things unfolding on the ground. The mails I've gotten and comments on the site have really made it clear to me that people are looking for this kind of commentary.

Unfortunately, I haven't found any new Darfur blogger who's willing to accept this job just yet - but I'll let you know as soon I do, and I'm pretty hopeful they'll come along eventually.

329 Comments:

I wish you were closing your blog because all the problems had been solved and there was nothing more to write about. For that, it might be worth losing such a clear voice. As it is, all I have to say is, "Oh, no-o-o-o-o-o!"

Thank you for being such an inspiration, Sleepless. It is because of you that I have finally stopped running off at the mouth and put my thoughts down in writing. While we are sorry to lose your insight I know what a releif it must be to be able to move on to a more hopeful post. Perhaps, after clearing Sudanese airspace, you can let us know who you are so we can thank you for the great and noble effort. And while I hope your new surroundings will be less tragic, I hope you continue to be inspired and put your thoughtsa down in this forum. Best of luck and thank you for the inspiration.

Dear Sleepless, Thank you so much for this gobsmacking, eye-opening and inspiring blog. I'll be very sad to see you go, and look forward to reading a blog from your new location, perhaps? Go well. - Luisetta (formerly at Global Voices)

Just like everyone else is saying, it really was a pleasure to be able to read your entries, it brought us all closer to you. Im sure its a great feeling to have given such an insight and be such an inspiration to all of us! I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, and hope that you can someday get back to us...that is of course, with great news!

Gobsmacked. You've been brilliant. I'm sorry for the place you're off to if you're needed there more than you are in Darfur.

I hope you're able to get someone else to take up your cudgel on behalf of Darfur, but if there's a discreet way in which someone can blog from wherever you've been reassigned, I'm sure that place needs the world knowing about it too.

You'll be sorely missed. I hope you'll start a new blog wherever you wind up; even if the situation there isn't as dire as the one you've been chronicling, you do a wonderful job of bringing your surroundings to life and it would be a shame to lose your voice and your perspective.

(And do let us know if someone else you know takes up the mantle of blogger in Darfur...)

Oh NO! Wow, I just feel like I'm a five year old who's neighbor friend just moved :( I will miss this blog terribly, but hopefully I'll come across another one from you where ever the road takes you. Sleepless in... [TBA] Take care, I salute you, thank you THANK YOU for informing us and inspiring us.

Sleepless- I just read your entire repertoire (found it randomly and started reading- stuff about Sudan is always of interest to me). I was amazed at the clarity of your overview of the situation in Darfur coupled with your excellent writing skills. Clearly, you were meant to write about this for the purpose of informing people and thereby putting more pressure on the powers that be in order to cause some much-needed changes. And no, I don't always write in cliches. Anyway, were I you, I'd give some very serious thought to putting your blogs and any further thoughts on the situation in Darfur into book form and/or whatever else you can think of that will bring further publication and, thereby, light on the subject. You have to see that, with your writing talent and grasp for situational complexity, you have a powerful tool with which to increase public awareness. I'm REALLY hoping that you won't undersell yourself in this regard or blow it off- your writing is influential, and to not use it to the uttermost is to to allow a great thing to lie unused like the military vehicles you spoke of, sitting in a warehouse. I hope that I'm not offending you- I just see so much potential in you and your writing, and hope that you will use it to maximum effect. I'll encourage you in it anytime! If you'd care to discuss it with me, you can reach me at morganhearst@yahoo.com -I'd love to hear from you.

Powerful writing Sleepless...attracting so many to the site by stating the end is near! It sucked me in and then saddened me! You should really keep writing, perhaps becoming more covert in descriptions and tell-tale signs of who you are.

My best friend was country director for an aid organization in the Sudan until about 16-months ago. His stories were surreal and powerful. I lost my brother to suicide, and kept some sense of perspective by opening up his emails and reading about what is going on there.

Keep up the work and don't lose faith. But, be true to yourself first and foremost and keep sane.

yes, this has been interesting... and i am myself heading to Sudan for work next week, for six months... I won't be in Darfur, in Khartoum and in the South, and I have to admit you have inspired me to keep a blog too... I'm not sure it will be as interesting as yours, but it will still be some more insights coming out of Sudan... Your comments/advice will be appreciated! www.visitsudan.blogspot.com

Apparently, being on the blogger front page means you get a lot of spam comments - please note that I have deleted some of the more offensive ones that were left on this page. I'm not usually one for censorship, but also refuse to allow my blog to be used as a free advertising tool for internet porn.

Wherever you are, wherever you go, please continue to shed the light and the truth. Currently I walk through homeless shelters throughout Canada that actually violate and don't live up to the standards set for refuge camps. The "Free Press" here actually refuses to cover and thereby helps to 'cover up' these stories; including death threats and murder attempts on myself by policing agencies and the judicial system for raising my voice and standing against this "WAR on the POOR" that exists and rages willfully worldwide.

It has been walking through this while people sit by doing nothing that makes me appreciate and respect you for creating this blog and what you are doing. I hope you do it again...Death to Apathy."EVIL" is just 'Live Backwards'; whereas: "LOVE" is the beginning of 'Evolution'.7 Musical Notes7 Colours in the Rainbow7 Senses (not just 5 :INTUITION-6th & EMPATHY-7th).

Great work.Please leave this blog up, I am still trying to read it all and I'm trying to direct people to it from other sites.I think the New Internationalist were thinking about doing an issue on Sudan later this year. Not sure what they decided.Prehaps you should get in touch with them?www.newint.org

Take care,and please let me know if you are starting a new one from your new post.

By reading what was posted here, we come to understand what life meant to the war-ridden country and how people suffered there; and we come to understand how precious peace is to everybody living on the earth.

Shame I got here too late. Until reading this I'd been unconvinced of the value of blogs.

As someone else said- do start again wherever else you go. You've opened the lid on a world most of us never see or hear about beyond the pre-digested media coverage that filters through on our glowing boxes.

you should really just continue using this blog or hand it over to other aid workers in the region you could do that by making them team members therfore giving them the password for the site so they can edit it any time they want in fact it could be a whole "thing" that when you go to sudan as an aid worker you get the password to this sit and you're encoraged to start posting on it.

I will enjoy reading this entire blog, I'm sure... I was intrigued by "Beyond Borders" with Angelina Jolie, as romanticized as that film was, I enjoyed any hint of reality that came through! I hope to catch up with you on Yahoo, Sleepless ;) Take care

If only the world had more people like you. Hopefully with something like this blogosphere more, intelligent, people like yourself will post uncensored information and rants about the world as a whole.

Im surely not the first or the last to discover this blog today, but I am sure it has been a great and amazing releif to write in here and exterieurise these throughts and info which flow permantly in the head and specialy at evening when eventualy you have for mission to fall asleep. Darfur is a fantastic experience, despite the huge amount of stress and revolt which it can generate within, it is still in the end an amazing exeprience, and I am grateful that someone did write something that interesting about it! It was just very refreshing to read this again and offered some other views on how life is/has been there. When I left Darfur, I was sad and filled with frustration, for living a place when I had spent so much time, but through time, and getting to an other emergency made it just a bonus memory with so much positivness! Seeing your blog today, just reminded me all this good and beautiful moment and all this ugly and frightening times spent there! Still I will always carry this positive feeling about having tried to contribute a little to this endless releif effort, and to see that people like you have made it known to the people who did not get the opportunity live it! By the way, all the love to everyone who's still in there. Specialy Al Geneina! Good luck sleepless Sudan! and thanks!

Thanks so much for such a courage, by telling us, all around the world, about what's really going on, on the part of our world that is visible to the point of your own view. And here, I say: never stop saying what you think about the things you see, it doesn't matter where you are.

I haven't read your blog as I only discovered it after you closed it. I see that you cite the NYT (amongs others) as being an informative source on Darfur... hmmm. I've lived and worked in humanitarian relief in Darfur myself for over a year. Most of the info that the NYT has published on the issue is nothing more than speculation and unsubstantiated accounts from clueless aid workers like yourself, with little understanding of the complexities of the Darfur conflict, and is therfore very far from the truth. Many aid workers, out of sympathy with the rebel groups (who are actually criminal gangs) have taken sides, covered for them, lied to their own governments, and prolonged this conflict unnecessarily, exacerbating the suffering of the people of Darfur. So frankly, this brings into question your own credibility. I hope you are more discerning when it comes to analysing information next time.

Your blog is interesting. However, I disagree with you on government involvement in Darfur crisis. I acknowledge severe malnutrition because it's a residue to 70's famine. Home displacement due to janjaweed robbery attacks; had been going for decades. Little you know about history of the region shows why people tend to imply. I notice that you never mentioned Darfur arabs being black, unlike in Western countries, they tend to follow erroneous doctrine of lighter skin folks kill darker Africans.

I dont feel that u would can close your blog.I visited Sudan in 2000 and again in november 2006.Oh, my God.In 2006, I did not get go out from airplaine....what I saw never forget.I visited Afrika 4 times this year because I am researching about refugees children to my university thesis.Is tudy Law in Brasil and the reality in Sudan - I dont beleive - that will change in a short time.

Well, there are works that last forever and have the power to move our mind both in the reason as in the feelings realms and this is one of them.I'm reading in August 2007 and the efforts of sleepless are, right now, moving myself to be more active about the ancestral difficulties in my own country

I just came across your blog. I am working in Darfur and wish I had read it sooner. I am not an aid-worker (am trying to learn more about the field). Instead I'm in support services to operations out here. Would love to know if you have any other recommendations in terms of learning more or networking with folks. I *just* started a blog, that I am slowly copying my observations into (I had been keeping a diary). Anyway, look forward to reading your (now closed) blog further.

Oh no ! After four years I find this blog so very randomly, and I start reading. It touched me in every way. It is quite profound and very educating. It is indeed sad that you have left, as a Sudanese I feel like you were saying good bye to me after quite a happening although not-very-happy long visit.

Thank you so much for the information and the insight .. it is indeed valuable.

Your writing skills are superb and I shall find you wherever you blog again, I donno how, but I will.

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