Cap'n Crunch
Yet another military scandal erupted earlier this month when Foodbeast blogger Charisma Madarang questioned the military service of Cap’n Crunch. While the cereal icon (né Horatio Magellan Crunch) has captained the S.S. Guppy since 1963, Madarang uncovered a disparity between the number of bars on Crunch’s sleeve (three, which denotes the rank of commander) and the four bars featured on a Naval captain’s uniform. “The cheery Santa Claus in a blue Napoleon hat is really just a big, fat LIAR,” she declared. Crunch immediately tweeted a response to the allegations (“Of course I'm a Cap'n! It's the Crunch - not the clothes - that make a man. #PaidMyDues), but the Navy was not convinced. “We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records – and we checked,” Lt. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon told the Wall Street Journal last week. “We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer – and that’s a serious offense.” And while they’re looking into cereal frauds in the military, what do we really know about this so-called “General Mills”…