That said, I’m handing the Fake Genocide Death-Time Achievement Award to the Indians or First Nations or whatever they are this week, because as a Canadian, I have to deal with those undead human toothaches more directly and regularly than either of those aforementioned zombie species.

On November 12, the gals at jezebel.com—whose days are always heavy, from what I can make out—screeched, “Victoria’s Secret’s Racist Garbage Is Just Asking for a Boycott.”

That’s because during the lingerie giant’s recent fashion show, “model Karlie Kloss wore a Native American headdress. Outrage at the offensive costume was immediate. Over the weekend, Victoria’s Secret apologized and said the televised version of the show will not feature the headdress. But the cultural appropriation of Native American regalia continues.”

As does the cultural appropriation of other people’s faux outrage by pale-faced squaws, who need to be reminded (as do most liberals) that boycotts only work if you already buy the product being targeted, and none of these broads would deign to squeeze into a cheap red waspie to turn on their boyfriends.

Now, I carry no water-filled cups for Victoria’s Secret. I buy their stuff because, even with duty, taxes, and shipping, mail-order underwear is still a better deal than having to touch, see, and smell other (alleged) human beings at the mall. I preferred Frederick’s of Hollywood—they’d been around longer and made better quality yet trashier-looking stuff—until they decided, about 10 years ago, to start imitating Victoria’s Secret.

Before you could say, “And Cher wept,” No Doubt—you’ll never guess—”issued a statement” which I assure you is not an excerpt from a Tom Wolfe novel:

Being hurtful to anyone is simply not who we are. As a multi-racial band our foundation is built upon both diversity and consideration for other cultures. Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialize Native American people, their culture or their history. Although we consulted with Native American friends and Native American studies experts at the University of California, we realize now that we have offended people.

When John Updike wrote his short story “A&P,” No Doubt lead singer and for-some-reason beauty icon Gwen Stefani was the type he had in mind when he penned that immortal line about “the kind of girl other girls think is very ‘striking’ and ‘attractive’ but never quite makes it….”

But that’s not why I hate her or what elevates this particular “racism” “controversy” above Level One, i.e., “Must Be Tuesday.”

It is that almost 20 years ago, one of my favorite performers was called an anti-Native American bigot by a smug, bratty, and even homelier up-and-coming singer named…Gwen Stefani.

Fans of future Radio Hall of Famer Adam Carolla treasure his every four-letter word, and his 1995 “interview” with Stefani and her band—when he asked if Stefani’s boyfriend/guitarist was “an American Indian or a 7/11 Indian,” refused to apologize, then tripled down by calling himself “a guinea, a wop, and a dago”—has retained minor classic status in the Aceman-ishads.

Carolla, with considerable justification, rarely avoids the opportunity to gloat. In the puny wake of Stefani-quiddick, fans switched on his November 6 podcast eager to hear their hero take a long-time-coming audio bow. But the best reaction came from one of Carolla’s guests after they’d watched the “controversial” music video and hashed out the details.