Stranded in the cold? Turn it into an adventure, Kramer style

AP Photo/David DupreyIn this Dec. 2, 2010 file photo, vehicles are stranded on the New York State Thruway during a winter storm in Buffalo. The Department of Homeland Security urges travelers to know what they're headed into when they get on the road, and to be prepared with a disaster kit that includes blankets and a shovel.

Nobody wants to be stranded on a highway in a blizzard. Yet with planning and a positive mindset, you can transform a harrowing ordeal into a tolerable winter camping adventure.

I learned that last week by subjecting myself - and one of my dogs - to conditions similar to those experienced by hundreds of Upstate New York and Southern Ontario motorists who were trapped in their vehicles for up to 20 hours during recent winter storms.

Next, I loaded the car, drove to the DeWitt Wegmans' parking lot and pretended to be stuck there. With all four seats reclined into a mattress-like formation, Larry (the dog) and I settled in around midnight. Other than the fact I was a 30-second walk from one of the largest and best stocked 24-hour supermarkets in the United States, it was just like being stranded on the Thruway in a whiteout.

After cutting the engine, one of the first things I noticed was it got cold. Unfazed, Larry, wearing a fleece dog jacket, fell into a deep slumber. I felt alone and, frankly, kind of stupid. In participatory journalism, there's an invisible but very real barrier where cost outweighs benefit. I'd crossed it but there was no turning back now.

Eventually, I too drifted off to sleep - for about 30 minutes. When I awoke, the side of my pillow wedged against the rear windshield was moist from condensation. At least I hope it was condensation. Larry groaned in his sleep. It struck me that perhaps bringing him along had been a mistake. His role was to provide body heat and, should circumstances turn grim, sustenance. But what if he were to eat me?

I turned on my iPod and listened to Simon and Garfunkel.

Hello darkness, my old friend/I've come to talk with you again/Because a vision softly creeping/Left its seeds while I was sleeping.

Not comforting.

Two hours into the drill I needed a Wegmans break. It was tough going. Wings bar: closed. Indian food buffet: Closed. Checker: Cranky. I shuffled back to the car refortified with a sticky bun and a hibiscus-and-lime sparkling beverage from the natural foods section. After another two hours in the car, I determined that I could live this way for days. But why? Larry gave me one of those looks that seemed to say: "Can we wrap this up?" So at 4 a.m. we did.

I wouldn't call the experience fun, but with some minor additions, such as a flush toilet and a chiropractor, it could be.

Please drive safely, which in Upstate New York in winter means not at all.