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About Me

Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog.
My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades!
I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can.
So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

When I read the title of this article it literally caused me to exclaim out loud...not something I normally do: "March of the Male Mums: Women Having Sex Change on the NHS are also receiving FREE IVF". How on earth can it be fair?!!?!I was denied any kind of NHS help for IVF because my ex had a child from a previous relationship - which was supposed to satisfy my desire to become a mum - but look at this: Women who decide they don't want to be women any more, but want to become a man (with free NHS help), are being given the FREE HELP to have IVF treatment to become a mum!!!!!!!!Come on!!!!!Seriously!!!!!How is this even close to being fair?????I am woman.I choose to remain a woman.God has made me a woman.Yet my life choice at the time - ie the choice of the man I married - meant I was not entitled to become a mum, but someone who decides they want to stop being a woman and become a ma on the outside, can still exercise the most basic of womanly functions and have a baby - with FREE help from the NHS, and grabbing any old donor's sperm.So my taxes go to help these people, but I couldn't be helped?????

Sex-change mums are still women on the inside! YOU CAN NEVER change who you are biologically created to be! But stop trying to get me to pay for your decisions. You want a sex change - pay for it yourself. You then want IVF to have a baby - pay for it yourself! Over it!God seriously!!! This is not your design for humanity. And it most definitely IS NOT fair!!!

I was denied any kind of NHS help for IVF because my ex had a child from a previous relationship - which was supposed to satisfy my desire to become a mum - but look at this: Women who decide they don't want to be women any more, but want to become a man, are being given the FREE HELP to have IVF treatment to become a mum!!!!!!!!

Come on!!!!!
Seriously!!!!!

How is this even close to being fair?????

I am woman.

I choose to remain a woman.

God has made me a woman.

Yet my life choice at the time - ie the choice of the man I married - meant I was not entitled to become a mum, but someone who decides they want to stop being a woman and become a man can still exercise the most basic of womanly functions and have a baby - with FREE help from the NHS.

So my taxes go to help these people, but I couldn't be helped?????

God seriously!!! This is not justice, not your design for humanity. And it most definitely IS NOT fair!!!

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Today's papers are reporting a statement Tory leadership contender, Andrea Leadsom has made about her future prospect as future leader of the Tories, and Prime Minister. Which if it is true, really is backward thinking to the highest degree.

And although she may have been comparing herself to her challenger, Theresa May, I feel that actually, she has condemned most women who are unable to have children. Yep. All of us!

I'm sorry. But being a mother doesn't give any woman the edge over other women, in the slightest. This comes a few days after Theresa May spoke about her own sadness over not having children. If only Andrea Leadsom had any idea about how much her statement and comments will feel like someone just dug twisting a knife round in the deepest part of Theresa's wound!

Is this "playground politics"?
Haven't we had enough of this over recent months??

To try and say someone is better qualified based on her ability to conceive, condemns those of us who would love to have children, but haven't been blessed with such a gift. We may have failed in that one basic area of life, but don't try and say this would cause us to fail in other areas of life; because the maternal instinct isn't just alive and active in those who have been blessed with a family, the maternal instinct is very present in the rest of us. And we may not have a "long term stake" in the future of the country, not having children to produce grandchildren who will continue to reap from the plans and decisions we make today, but does that make our contribution to society any less valid? We still want the best for our nephews and nieces. And we still have dreams and ambitions we hope to fulfill. And some of us are still believing that one day we will have children and grandchildren who will carry on living life to the fullest after we have left this mortal planet!

I find the comments by Leadsom to be ignorant at best and archaic at worst.

I really hope these will not become the comments which define her, but may she come to know the battle of many of the women she represents as an MP. Women who have their own struggle with the battle of infertility. #1in3 women in the constituency she represents who suddenly find themselves at the wrong end of her opinion.

Friday, July 1, 2016

According to an article Daily Mail today, nearly a fifth of British women in their late 30's early 40's struggle to conceive (read the article here).I certainly fit in this bracket, approaching the big 4-Ohhh next year. While the article suggests that one of the reasons for this is down to more women focussing on their careers above starting a family, I disagree that this can be attributed to most of us with a degree! I didn't choose to focus on getting my career sorted before starting a family. Life has just worked out that way. I would have loved to have had the chance to settle down with the right guy, and start a family much, much sooner. But alas, our dreams and our reality rarely collide in beautiful alignment, like they seem to do in films! In my case - reality was as far apart from my dream, as the east is from the west! But sure, oh great science boffins. Blame women for wanting to have a better life while she waits for the right man to enter stage right, whisk her off toward marriage and to start a family. I mean seriously - what is one more element of blame for a woman who is already struggling to come to terms with the fact she seems unable to accomplish the most basic of functions for the woman's body!The other aspect of the article, which really strikes a chord with me is this - if a fifth of women in our society are struggling / have struggled to conceive, how many women in our Churches are grappling with this reality?

The Journey

In August 2011, a year after my ex and I were married, we decided we were ready to try for a family. But in 2015, the journey was suddenly ended, and in 2016 we divorced.

Some of you reading this may think, "why keep such a personal blog online?" As I am a writer, I found it easier to write how I felt, and over the years was encouraged to know God used my struggle to offer support to others who read my posts.

For a subject which is often still taboo among Christians, because of the huge challenge to our faith, and our idea of who God is, I have decided to keep this blog online, knowing that my fears, my thoughts, my frustrations still remain today, even though I find myself single again.

The purpose of this blog originally was as an outlet to formulate into words my inner thoughts. It has since become a tool God uses for people like you walking through the loneliness of infertility.

May you find hope and encouragement, even if it's just in knowing you're not alone.