Eight perfectly acceptable gifts to give your pet this Christmas

Ask anyone and they'll tell you that they love their pets more than they do members of their family. So is it any surprise that we tend to throw common sense out the window and down 10 flights of stairs when it comes to spoiling them for Christmas?

A low key dish

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Or like the year that you got your second aunt – the one who likes to drink the cooking sherry and drop casually racist remarks at the dinner table – a bowl you found at a garage sale that came free with the vintage Nintendo you got yourself, but spent $1206 on a Versace Medusa Gala Dog Bowl for your Westiepoo rescue dog, Sharon. (Amara)

A subtle cat home

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Then there was that year where you spent $2890 on an absolutely necessary cat house that was designed to look like Buckingham Palace for your ginger tom, Bacon, and the random tabby he brought home, Eggs, but gave your sister what you described as a "meaningful poem" but was really just the lyrics from an S Club 7 song. (Kitty Mansions)

A cute collar

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And you were completely justified in spending over $900 on a Swarovski Elements crystal dog collar by Diamond Dogs for your neighbour's three-legged chihuahua, Chardonnay, who only had one eye and three months to live because of a congenital kidney disease. Meanwhile, your cousin Makaylahh got the Tupperware container with a lid that didn't quite fit that you stole from the office kitchen.

A fancy bowl

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You should also be really proud of the effort you made when you presented your uncle with a newspaper clipping – in an envelope – that you took from one of those free community papers you found while waiting for the dentist earlier in the week. Two months earlier, however, you treated you single goldfish, Kieran, to a brand new, wall-mounted, AUD$6 million fish tank by British designer, Stuart Hughes.

A place to sleep

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And it was important to make sure that your pug, Chorizo, got a good night's sleep so you spent AUD$21,553 on a lilac bedding and armoire set from Bitch New York. But when it was your brother's birthday, the one just before he moved overseas and meant you wouldn't see him again for another six years, you just forgot. You still haven't called, by the way.

A quaint cage

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You're still a bit baffled why you're mother called you cheap and stopped speaking to you after you gave her some egg rings and a spatula that you took from her own kitchen and wrapped with toilet paper. You spent over AUD$7000 on a custom-made cage by CagesByDesign.com for your pet budgie, Simone de Budgerigar, didn’t you?

A king's litter

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And while your relationship with your partner is now irreparable after you gave them a cup of dirt, the love that you feel coming off your adopted Scottish fold, Steven, as he stares at you while taking a poop in his AUD$550 automated cat litter box is sweeter than all the hugs in the world.