I wanted to share two things from the book with my readers, many of whom have become my virtual friends.

First is the dedication page:

For my husband, Michael. Thirty-five years after our wedding, I still do!

Second is an excerpt from the acknowledgements:

… A special thank-you to the commenters on my blog, the smartest, wittiest, most articulate commenters on the Internet. I continue to learn from you each and every day and I cannot begin to express how much I value our virtual friendship.

Finally, I want to offer my deepest gratitude to the many women who, through private correspondence, have shared their anguish and guilt about childbirth, breastfeeding, and parenting travails. Some have given me permission to tell their stories in this volume, but there are many more whose stories could not be included for reasons of space. I am conscious of the honor that you have done me by confiding in me and I hope this book rewards your confidence in my ability to bear witness and to ease your pain.

When I found your blog (so long ago!) I thought I was losing my mind—I kept dealing with all these transports from people who were doing crazy stuff at home….and who kept blandly assuring me that their outcomes were better than mine. My colleagues would laugh and shrug, and I kept getting more and more outraged. Thanks for giving me a space to be real.

Laura

I used to be among your haters, but as I read more of your blog and realized that you were talking sense, I became a fan. After my medically necessary 37-week induction, I wanted to do everything “right” before I got pregnant again so I could give birth the “right” way (not be induced and not get an epidural). This blog helped me realize that as long as you have a SAFE birth, it really doesn’t matter how you give birth in the long run. My second pregnancy was high risk, but I went in to my induction with the birth plan of “healthy baby with minimal damage to me”. I got both, even though my baby did go to the NICU for 48 hours because of breathing issues. And because I learned here that (surprise) formula was not poison and didn’t ruin breastfeeding, I didn’t feel bad letting them give her a little formula while we were figuring out breastfeeding in the NICU. She’s a beautiful, healthy seven-month-old now…healthy because of modern medicine.

So…thank you for helping me on my journey to sanity.

Bombshellrisa

I love this blog–it’s quite the community to be a part of. Thanks Dr Amy!
I was going go suggest this book for purchase for our local library system. Someone beat me to! The system will have 19 copies (it’s on order and has 7 holds already).

Only tangentially related but I just found out that I aced my research assignment and self-evaluation. So thank you again for explaining how to look at information more critically, it’s helping my foray into further education.

Who?

Well done!

Megan

Bravo!

Poogles

Thank you, Dr. Amy, for providing the information and data that made me realize that an unassisted home birth is quite dangerous and that that risk is not even close to being acceptable to me. This blog and commenters have also helped me shed any remaining “woo” I may have still been holding onto, and helped me to better evaluate claims in the future.

BeatriceC

You are beginning to influence the next generation. My teens sometimes read over my shoulder. They ask questions. Your blog has definitely provided opportunities to discuss difficult subjects. Even the friends of my children have been influenced. I know of at least one teen who had been woo-leaning who decided to make better decisions regarding prenatal care after my son’s girlfriend talked to her about some of the stuff she read here. As a bonus, the teens in my sphere of influence are making better decisions regarding sage sex and birth control because reading the stories from both the blog and the commenters have made the very real risks of pregnancy and childbirth real to them.

demodocus

sage sex. lol, that could work too.

BeatriceC

That’s what I get for posting from my phone with my fingers frozen because I was in an ice arena.

demodocus

Oh, i figured it was something like that, I just liked the sage=wise sex 🙂

The Computer Ate My Nym

Whereas I was wondering if sage sex implied the use of sage as an aphrodesiac and if this was something the kids nowadays were into.

sdsures

Does that mean sex infused with the herb, or sex infused with wisdom?

Tiffany Aching

Thank you. This blog has become one of my favorite places on the Internet. It really widened my horizon. And I completely agree with you about your commenters :).

Mishimoo

Thank you for writing it! Thanks also for making me (like so many others) think about things and look at various NCB and parenting ‘facts’ more critically. Finally, thank you for always having a strong voice and speaking up where it’s needed.

SarahSD

Thank you! I went from uncritically repeating NCB and Natural Parenting “facts”, to learning to see them through a critical lens. I am way less judgmental and a happier person and parent because of the time I’ve spent here. This has become one of my favorite places on the internet.

Now that Jonathan Banks has joined the cast, I have to watch that show…

sdsures

Never heard of it.

yentavegan

I am grateful to you. You have inspired me to mature and because of you I will be a better more tolerant , ( less judgmental/smugg) friend, mother, mother-in-law, aunt…etc

Jules B

Can’t wait to read it! Although I am new to this forum, reading Dr. Amy’s posts and the comments here has given me many insights and new information that I really wanted and needed, especially regarding my breastfeeding “failure.” I was carrying around so much guilt at being unable to EBF, it was ridiculous. Reading the breastfeeding posts/comments has helped ease that guilt a lot, and I will be forever grateful for that, because it could have easily been an unnecessary burden I carried for years.

SF Mom & Psychologist

Thank you for taking the time to tell “the other side of the story,” for so many of us, and a BIG congratulations! Writing a book is a huge accomplishment.

Madtowngirl

Thank you for being a leader in the charge against the “natural” industries. I’m loving the book so far.

I got a lot of support here from the negative experiences I had w midwives, but also a lot of condemnation and mockery for my negative experiences with the hospital system and OBGYNs. No where is perfect I just want to warn anyone that thinks its a love fest here because its not

Gatita

I’m sorry you feel like you’ve gotten condemnation for your negative experiences in the hospital. I think most of the commenters understand that hospitals and doctors aren’t perfect by any means. But I’m sorry if people invalidated your experiences.

fiftyfifty1

Can you be more specific? In what ways do OBs and hospital systems need to improve in your experience? As a physician, I am asking that sincerely. If there is something that is a problem, we need to be talking about it, and I don’t want to be silencing anyone.

Allie

I can’t speak for “ex home birthers,” but if you are interested, the only negative experience I had with my hospital birth was the tacit assumption that pain relief was unwanted/unnecessary. I was basically fully dilated by the time I got to the hospital, but I ended up pushing for 5 hours, and during that time any mention of pain relief was immediately brushed aside. I would have insisted, but I erroneously thought that it was too late for pain relief in my advanced stage of labour. I later learned that there were options, and I would have appreciated it if they were mentioned and offered. It is my belief that access to adequate pain relief is a human right.

mostlyclueless

Thank YOU for being the only person on planet Earth who made me feel better about my c-section.

Megan

Second this. And a big thanks for making it feel ok to have a RCS with baby #2.

Erin

Thank you. This has been the only place where my son’s interesting arrival and my ensuing PnD & PTSD hasn’t been reframed as being my fault and for that I don’t think the English language goes far enough to express my gratitude.

That woman sounds like she’s being abused and/or exploited. Who was the commenter who left her crazy prepper husband? (apologies for not remembering her name). She’d be the perfect person to respond to that.

Madtowngirl

My thoughts, exactly. That poor woman.

Who?

It’s all about what everyone else wants and needs. So sad.

I think you might mean Stacey from here?

Gatita

Yes, Stacy! Don’t know why I couldn’t remember that.

Melaniexxxx

Yes, the poor lady – another comment “[–]Octavia9 8 points 1 day ago
What about the painful and long recovery from a c section? I work on my farm and was back to work the same day after my homebirths. There was no one to replace my labor or care for my children. A c section would have been a serious hardship and I would have ended up working through my recovery. Not everyone has a support system or a maternity leave”

sdsures

The “back to work the day after my homebirth” stuff? Sounds like bollocks to me.

AA

I don’t think it’s BS. If you have a farm and children and no one to help, you keep working as you are able.

sdsures

The key phrase being “as you are able”. We already know that NCBers like to stretch the truth and pretty it up.

sdsures

“As you are able” being the operative phrase.

The Computer Ate My Nym

Holy carp! She worries that her husband will think less of her if she gets an epidural to avoid the pain? Poor woman! Note also that she said her husband wants 10 children. Not that she wants 10 children. Unless she is very much misrepresenting the situation, she is certainly being exploited and likely abused.

sdsures

I better not read this. 🙁

Dr Kitty

Good Stuff. I look forward to reading my copy!

Sue

Thank YOU, Amy, for creating this wonderful community, which I truly value.

namaste863

Dr. Tuteur, thanks for fighting this fight. Alternative health is a big business, and it takes a brave soul to publicly call them out on their nonsense. To the rest of you guys, thanks for teaching me the art of thinking critically. You’ve all truly expanded my mind, and I have learned so much from all of you.

whatpalebluedot

Thank you for having this space and bringing together all these wonderful individuals. From commenting on this blog 7 years ago, we now have an international network of support and love. You introduced me to some of my favorite people who got me through abuse and miscarriage and divorce and everything else. Thank you for the work you do and for hosting this space.

Felicitasz

My pre-ordered copy should arrive today or tomorrow. Can’t wait.

Guest

Would this book be any good for someone adopting older children from the foster system?

Melaniexxxx

I think a lot of the content relates to pregnancy and early childhood – issues like infant feeding and paediatric public health. So perhaps not in a practical sense. But the general ideas of doing what works best for your family no matter what the social pressure is, and not feeling guilt or failure if things don’t go as expected may be useful?

Thank you! I learned so much reading your blog! Even though I thought I was already at home with biological sciences, it has been a real eye-opener.

moto_librarian

Thank you, Dr. Amy. You were a light to me during a really tough time. I can’t wait to read your book. I also want to say thanks to the regular commenters here for creating a really great community. I have gotten a lot of support and good advice over the years from all of you.

YesYesNoNo

♡♡

Amy Tuteur, MD

Dr. Amy Tuteur is an obstetrician gynecologist. She received her undergraduate degree from Harvard College in 1979 and her medical degree from Boston University School of Medicine in 1984. Dr. Tuteur is a former clinical instructor at Harvard Medical School. She left the practice of medicine to raise her four children. Her book, Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting (HarperCollins) was published in 2016. She can be reached at DrAmy5 at aol dot com...
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