Year of the snake:
The stars will endow you (I’m already well endowed. Wait..that came out wrong. That sucks. This is hard) with the power of persuasion; if you ask your employer for a pay raise, they won’t be able to refuse it and will agree without comment (HAHAHAHAHAHA). Family conflicts are without gravity: It would suffice that each remain calm so that the problem can be solved rapidly (My family isn’t famous for all the calm people, but I don’t beef); but if one says a word too many, then it will be oil poured over fire. Follow your intuition, for it will be excellent (It generally is. It’s like a Jedi mind trick)

Overview:
You’re deeply passionate about something or someone (It sure the shit is not about someone.), and today brings that to the surface in a way that you can’t deny (OK so maybe you can be deeply passionate about someone in a negative way). Make sure that you are doing whatever it takes to be true to yourself (Oh, please. I have that on lockdown)

Extended:
The friendly competition you’ve been enjoying with another smart and fun person (I’m sorry. Whom?) is starting to evolve into a not-so-fun power struggle (Nobody wants to do that with me. Step away from the throne, I can see you a mile away plotting against me)! There is a huge streak of jealousy coming into the picture, and it might belong to you! Before things get too serious, you need to stop competing with them (Never stop competing until you win). Shake hands and just walk away. There is no value in continuing this fight — either you or they are going to get frustrated, and whatever good you have will disappear.

Love:
If you’re seeing someone (No. I don’t even like HEARING someone)– even super-casually (That sounds rather… brief)– expect jealousy to get in the way today. Most likely it’s coming from you, but depending on who’s who, it could also be directed your way (My love life can be summed up in zero words)!

Singles:
When it comes to love (Please don’t use the L word), what’s right and wrong isn’t always clear (In my LIFE what’s right and wrong isn’t clear. That’s one blurry motherfucker). You may be the soul of grace and courtesy (Um.. sure), but if a suitor is being a real jerk, you still need to let them know they crossed a line (Don’t get out of pocket).

Career & finance:
The more you ignore certain emotions, the more intense they become (That explains a lot). So if you feel possessive of your supplies now, imagine how you’ll act after pretending you don’t. Go ahead and hoard.