Why It's Good to Cry

Aaron D’cruze (24), an IT professional, lives a controlled, mazed life. The only thing stiffer than his ironed suit is his iron attitude — strong and stern. His perfectly paced social life is primarily dominated by Natalie Elias (25), his girlfriend, who isn’t big on emotions either. They do love each other. A lot. But when it comes to arguments, both hold their grounds, not inching from their own points of view.

It’s common among our generation. Individuality stands tallest and our egos get the better of most of us. The most dreaded aspect of a relationship is to be exposed as vulnerable and hence the weaker one. No one wants to wear their hearts on their sleeves for fear of it being ripped apart. Natalie confesses, “Call me stubborn if you like, but I am not going to give in, if it’s not my fault!” — yes, the modern dogmatic life has managed to pierce through the innermost membranes of our hearts. However, the question, “Are we losing the essence of tender love in the process?” is worth pausing your mundane life for a nanosecond.

A recent study revealed, the quality that makes a relationship last is its degree of affection and affection implies vulnerability. Dr. Samir Parikh, director, Mental Health & Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare quips, “It’s when you discuss your problems and leave space for your partner to come back and change it. Vulnerability is not about being strong or weak, it is about being happy with yourself first, and then loving someone for who they are.” So while you are reluctant to open up, your partner is perhaps waiting to hear the three magical words, “I need you,” for the reassurance that you will approach them of all the people in the world with your problems, is priceless.

Beware of the thin line differentiating vulnerability from neediness, you surely don’t want to step on the wrong side of it. The propensity to cling on to your partner, like a last piece of floating log after a shipwreck, is inevitable, especially when there is little time to invest in each other. Raj Shah believes in cutting the arguement short, “There’s very little time to fight and even lesser to make up. I don’t mind stepping down if that’s what it takes.” The trick, is to talk it out. Since time immemorial, great poets have urged us to seize the day, why not take it seriously this time? Just make sure you are not pushing a door that clearly says, “pull!”