ECW December to Dismember

20th October 2014by OSWreview

Hey yo! Old School Wrestling Review is back with our final ECW episode, hailed as WWE’s worst PPV of all time! Oh, we have a t-shirt! It’s just something cool we wanted to do. We don’t need your money, but give us all your money! tshirt.OSWreview.com!

First time I’ve seen these reviews and honestly the intro itself is a prelude to how unfunny and a bore these “reviews” are. It’s like Retsupurae but with Diabeetus failing to be comedic but I digress.

Tag team match #1:

Why the Hardyz weren’t full-time members of WWECW is a mystery, as they fitted all the aspects expected from them by the Hardcore-old school-extreme-drunk fans, especially days later when they busted Joey Mercury’s face, whom represented the “Hollywood pretty boy” archetype now commonly seen in present-day WWE such as Dolph Ziggler. Maybe Vince still gave a shit about the tag-team division, or he thought not having Matt Freakin’ Hardy remain on SmackDown would be bad for business for a show that was recorded on Tuesday.

Not a bad match in my opinion, but too much nitpicking in my opinion. Smark mentality at its finest.

Elimination chamber:

Holly or Test would’ve fared better as ECW champion given how un-Extreme looking Lashley and Big Show were (and because of their actually hardcore matches in the past.) I would’ve liked RVD to win as well but he already won months prior, against John Fuckin’ Cena in NYC for the WWE championship.

Safe to say Vince just thought Brock Lesnar had a black brother (preceding the Cena/Young twin joke) and saw $$$$ in his future- a future that he personally ended at next year’s Backlash.

Punk has to thank the God he doesn’t believe in that he even got a push despite this match and the absences of Heyman and *name redacted by WWE*; the former who would’ve pushed him to the stars in a Shane Douglas manner, and the latter who would’ve complied dropping the title to him. Regardless of his push you know you suck when WWE brings back old timers in an attempt to sell more and gain the viewers that they lost during your 400+ day title reign. Punk probably realized this and got mad as to why Vince never looked back at pushing him again, only making him jobber fodder for part-times such as Undertaker, Rock, and Lesnar.

Fuck Punk for walking out; he was pushed long before his feud with Cena, and his shoot promo is the only thing ringing loudly in his forgettable career outside of his attack on a fan and Teddy Hart’s allegations of kicking his ass in 2003 on podcasts.