81 Thoughts on NFL Draft 81

Welcome to the 2nd NFL Draft since DeflateGate began. This year, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to get an article in, so I deviated slightly from my usual style of time-stamping everything. It's really the same because all of this was written live during the broadcast, but I just numbered the article as a series of notes. I also didn't quite make it through the whole first round, but I hope you enjoy it anyway:

1. (1.1- LA Rams) Rams take Goff after much booing of Goodell.

2. Kiper weirdly pointed out a game where Goff played badly (Utah) to prove that the Cal quarterback is resilient.

3. 2nd Cal QB at #1. The other one was Steve Bartkowski.

4. Still not sure why the Rams didn’t spend the whole last two weeks negotiating the deal. Maybe they did, but the last minute “we still aren’t sure” stuff was sort of embarrassing.

5. Obligatory Ryan Leaf reference in a list of the second QBs taken in draft history. Apparently, Leaf’s publicist was reaching out for interviews this week. There was not much success. Like Leaf’s career.

6. (1.2- Philly)- Carson Wentz. The draft can now begin.

7. There’s a good 150 people at that rally for Wentz in North Dakota. It’s the largest attendance since the great cow tipping event of 1968.

8. Kiper keeps reminding us how many times Wentz led the team in rushing. Huh. I hope he can throw.

9. He apparently fits a prototype. Tall dudes from small schools is something, I guess. Never mind that something like 30 of 32 starters are from big conferences. That probably means nothing.

10. (1.3- San Diego)- I hope this pick is okay with moving away from San Diego. Berman screamed Joey Bosa for no reason. And he was right!

11. I guess Phil Rivers is gonna have to start using his kids to supplement his offensive line.

12. Kiper is really stretching with some comparison between Emmitt Smith and Zeke Elliott and what Elliott can do for Romo’s career. I guess Troy Aikman was 36 when Emmitt helped him or something.

13. I love when Louis Riddick makes sense, pointing out that a guy with three interceptions in college may not help a secondary that needs to make more interceptions.

14. (1.4- Dallas)- It is Zeke Elliott. The biggest winner of this draft may be Urban Meyer. The first two non-QBs have come from Columbus, Ohio.

15. Dallas may have the best seven blockers in the league on offense. As a unit, anyway.

16. Gruden actually makes a good point about him being a true three down back in a league that doesn’t have them anymore.

17. The Jaguars are on the clock. It felt like they were better than this spot last year. At least they feel comfortable picking in any spot between one and seven.

18. Shefty points out that the Cowboys considered trading back, but didn’t. Elliott is certainly a great back, but I think the team that takes DeAndre Washington way later in this draft is going to be a happy one.

19. (1.5- Jacksonville)- They take Jalen Ramsey. Jags make a move that has a ton of sense.

20. Gruden points out his lack of down-to-down effort. Others has talked about his bad hands. Personally, I don't think Ramsey is going to be a star in the league.

21. For some reason, ESPN picked this time to talk about Jaylon Smith and his decimated knee.

22. The Ravens could do anything here.

23. (1.6- Baltimore)- Well, the first tackle taken is Ronnie Stanley, not Tunsil. Stanley blocked a couple dozen seven step drops, at least. Tunsil basically never did. That has to be one of the reasons that the Ravens went this route.

24. The lack of pro passes being called in college and the effects of them on the offensive line in terms of learning technique for the NFL game is a growing concern for all teams. It’s not nearly as safe to “just take the tackle.”

25. Stanley also had less issues staying on the field and don’t need another guy on their line that has trouble there.

26. Oh no, the Tunsil management team is using the “Hacked Account” excuse for the one picture that came out today. Jack Conklin is doing backflips. I mean, if he could do backflips.

27. The Annual Kiper Hair Report: Hardly any gel by his standards and much less “poof” than previous years. It’s like he was wearing a hat or something.

28. Colin Kaepernick is still a Niner. Probably not good for the team or the player.

29. (1.7- San Francisco)- DeForest Buckner is the pick. It was rumored that Cousin Balky loved him. He does and did.

30. No crazy picks so far. The Chargers surprised a little, but I don’t think they liked Stanley enough to take him At 3.

31. Whoa, I thought that the Browns would trade down a second time with the Titans and it happened! Let’s see what they get. I predicted 8 for 15 and a few more.

32. The trade involves multiple drafts, so we will get to that in a minute.

33. The Titans have taken their guy quickly.

34. (1.8- Tennessee- From Cleveland)- Jack Conklin is the pick. Still no backflips. Tunsil may fall to the bottom half of the first round now.

35. The Bucs are on the clock and most would have to think that they are going for defensive help here.

36. The Browns get a 3rd round pick this year and a 2nd round pick in 2017. This has to mean that Hue Jackson has a full three years to build the team. Cleveland now is set up for several picks in the early rounds of 2017 along with 13 picks now for 2016.

37. Surprisingly, Chicago has traded up to number 9.

38. It’s weird to move up two spots, but it must be somebody they thought the Giants liked.

39. The Bears gave up a 4th rounder for the two spot move.

40. (1.9- Chicago)- It’s Leonard Floyd, a guy that had been tied to the Giants by a few pundits. He’s either another Mingo or a great add by Fox.

41. This seems to be a bit of a reach by Chicago.

42. Floyd seems to be best at simply running. That would be good for an edge rusher, but he isn’t big enough to shed blockers and hasn’t been asked to do that much pass rushing in college. Why give up a pick for a project?

43. (1.10- Giants)- Eli Apple. The first big-ish surprise of the draft. That’s the third Buckeye taken in the top ten. The position doesn’t make as much sense as other needs for the G-men, but Apple must have been high on their board.

44. Also, this could be one of those panic picks when “their guy” was taken out from under them.

45. Gruden is somehow talking about how college pass interference is called differently than in the NFL. He is not talking about the yardage that the penalty costs, either.

46. Kiper is calling Apple a reach due to lack of consistency.

47. 87 minutes. That's how long it took for Johnny Manziel to be mentioned during the broadcast (Gruden).

48. (1.11- Tampa Bay)- Vernon Hargreaves III is the pick. Tampa takes another local kid. I think he is a pretty good player. He’s going to be very solid in run support. However, he’s probably going to better in zone coverage in the NFL. He can be beat on long routes.

49. Riddick showed several videos that pointed out weaknesses and Kiper decided to just disagree. Because, you know, reasons.

50. I am legitimately surprised that the ESPN crew did not have to declare their sides for the “Captain America: Civil War” movie during the draft coverage. Of course, it is still early. Berman is a Captain America guy. Gruden is so in love with Iron Man. Kiper wishes he had ScarJo’s hair.

51. I don’t see the Saints taking Paxton Lynch here if for no other reason than his poor choice of facial hair.

52. That’s three shots of the pic of someone hitting off a bong on Tunsil’s Twitter. We will keep counting.

53. (1.12- New Orleans)- Sheldon Rankins is the pick. I mean, sure. I guess. He is, of course, one of the dreaded “late risers” of the draft. He’s got to help a defense that made every opposing running back look like Adrian Peterson.

54. This Cam Newton commercial is weird. There are three of him. One is wearing a suit. Another is wearing a superhero outfit, and the third one is wearing his regular Panthers uniform. Did Ron Rivera get to choose which Cam was going to play in the Super Bowl? I think I would have picked the actual superhero than the fake one we saw in Peyton Manning’s final game.

55. I’m sorry, that commercial just made that shot too easy. I think it was a commercial for yogurt.

56. (1.13- Miami)- Laremy Tunsil is finally taken. At least it should be easy for Tunsil to get all the drugs he needs in Miami. He might even be able to find a job during the off-season.

57. The Las Vegas Raiders are up next.

58. Berman’s profile is starting to look like the idol from the beginning of “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

62. The crew compares him to Bob Sanders. People forget that there was Mike Doss before Bob Sanders.

63. The Browns are finally picking. Very weird for the 2nd worst team in the league selecting the middle of the round, but here goes.

64. (1.15- Cleveland)- Corey Coleman, WR. This seems like a great pick by the Browns. That felt weird to write.

65. The Browns now have the rights to three former Baylor players on their offense. If they sign Lache Seastrunk, I am going to get concerned.

66. (1.16- Detroit)- Taylor Decker is the pick. The draft has been 25% poisonous nuts. It seems like the Lions have to select an offensive linemen high every season.

67. Riddick proves my point with 5 third rounders or better in the last 3 drafts. The picks should start coming faster now. The need for the studio crews to run 4-5 minute descriptions on each player is dwindling.

68. (1.17- Atlanta)- Keanu Neal is the pick. Kiper mentions that Neal doesn’t test well and is much more of a football player.

69. My goodness, this dude looks 35. He obviously doesn’t test well since it took him 17 years to graduate.

70. With all the highly-ranked offensive linemen taken already, it’s a wonder what the Colts might do here. Do they take Jason Spriggs?

71. (1.18- Indy)- Ryan Kelly is the pick. Much more obvious. I am clearly fading here. I may not make it through the first round this year. It’s okay if I don’t, though, every expert says the 20th to 70th picks of this draft are the same guy. That dude is going to be lucky to negotiate with all 32 teams at once. Well, 31, because I heard the Patriots aren’t allowed to draft anymore.

72. Tom Brady stole Roger Goodell’s stapler during their meeting. Ugh. I have to make it to the 20th pick.

73. (1.19- Buffalo)- Shaq Lawson is the pick, making own our Scott right about his team again. He does seem to be the type of guy that Rex Ryan should enjoy.

74. Lawson is supposed to have a clean-up surgery and only had one year of good production in college. So, there’s a few red flags here.

75. (1.20- Jets)- The draft is still 25% Ohio State with the selection of Darron Lee. He certainly has the type of play-making ability that Todd Bowles loves.

76. The new rule of the draft is to call every linebacker/safety hybrid player the next Deone Buchanon. I think that Mark Sanchez the last offensive player taken in the first round by the Jets.

77. The NFL seemed to really ramp of the selection of commercials with imagery showing the military, pick-up trucks, boots and cows.

78. (1.21- Houston)- They moved up one spot for a 6th rounder from 2017. They take Will Fuller. So, with Hopkins, they have a guy who has improved to the point of catching everything and absolutely demands the football. That will help because Fuller's hands play as if they hate the football.

79. I’ve got one more pick left before calling it night at a nice even 80 thoughts.

80. (1.22- Washington)- Chainsaw Dan ends the night as I cut this one off early. If they move this thing to Los Angeles, I’ll barely make it through the top ten. The final pick of the night for me is Josh Doctson from TCU. Sadly, I cannot hate on the pick and thus call it day.

81. Epilogue: The Broncos did trade up to get Paxton Lynch at 27. The Bengals thoroughly confused any of the fans staring at their depth chart at wide receiver. Goodell continued to get booed. I'm sure there was another shot or two of the Laremy Tunsil gas mask bong photo.

12 Comments

Patrick Sullivan
- 04-29-2016 04:20 PM

Some Winners:

All five Buckeyes drafted in the first round (and by proxy THE Ohio State University)
Denver/Paxton Lynch
Jack Conklin & Ronnie Stanley

Some losers:

Laremy Tunsil (and by proxy Ole Miss Athletics)
The South Jacksonville High Jaguars (I think Jalen Ramsey is a mirage)
49ers fans -- that trade up into the 1st was waaaay too ChipKellyian for my taste. ou do not want that guy handling personnel decisions

Looks like Tampa Bay was afraid of Buffalo landing the FSN kicker in the third....

Buffalo taking Reggie Ragland in the second would have had me rolling my eyes, since they already have no linebackers who can cover Gronk. Trading up to get another one who will get consistently taken advantage of? Worthless. I don't even kno embassy what they gave up but it was stupid.

Raiders got another gimpy young defender.

If I am lucky Sheldon Day lasts until Buffalo's next pick and they take him. Unlikely on both counts.

To heck with Whaley and Ryan. Unless he is shockingly good you sit tight and take the best available player. Ragland cannot play the pass against professionals. He is the new whipping boy for Tom Brady and Ryan Fitzpatrick if the Jets can keep him. This pick would have been great in 1976. Idiots. Don't they read my blog? Hello 8-8.

If you want the short version, that is 11 minutes of him failing to make a play against Michigan State last year. Ah the heady days of John McCargo.

If you watch the Harris Productions highlight video you are tough. The thing is almost unwatchable. Also, almost every really good play he made was in one game against I cannot tell, but they show every play six times.

If you want the short version, that is 11 minutes of him failing to make a play against Michigan State last year. Ah the heady days of John McCargo.

If you watch the Harris Productions highlight video you are tough. The thing is almost unwatchable. Also, almost every really good play he made was in one game against I cannot tell, but they show every play six times.

He is not a very good run defender at this stage of his career. Urban Meyer bluntly said this on NFL Network last night; Ohio State played Michigan State this year in a monsoon and the Spartans were rotating their second- and third-string quarterbacks. The run-to-pass ratio for the Spartans was 51:16. I have no earthly idea why anyone would think that's a tape showcase game for Washington, or any sort of representation of what he can do. He's a rotational pass rusher right now. You get role players, at least at the beginning of their careers, in the third round. I'm not saying he'll be great, but this is needlessly pessimistic.

I don't mind Buffalo taking the running back with the broken foot in the fifth round. I don't think McCoy will last more than two more years with the Bills, and I don't think he or Karlos Williams will ever again play a full season. Even though Sheldon Day, who I think is what THEY think Adolphus Washington is.

Cardale Jones? Really? Please fire Whaley now.

I don't know who Listen bee is.

Still haven't seen a DB. Given the tendency of Buffalo's secondary to miss games this seems short sighted. What do I know. I have never drafted EJ Manuel and Cyrus Kouandjio 1-2.

He is not a very good run defender at this stage of his career. Urban Meyer bluntly said this on NFL Network last night; Ohio State played Michigan State this year in a monsoon and the Spartans were rotating their second- and third-string quarterbacks. The run-to-pass ratio for the Spartans was 51:16. I have no earthly idea why anyone would think that's a tape showcase game for Washington, or any sort of representation of what he can do. He's a rotational pass rusher right now. You get role players, at least at the beginning of their careers, in the third round. I'm not saying he'll be great, but this is needlessly pessimistic.

Thank you for the perspective. I suspect the guy who put that tape together was frustrated that he was kept on the field.

That said, if Whaley is to be believed he expects third round picks to be starters by their second year. That means Washington's expected to replace Kyle Williams. The fact his coach said he wad weak against the run should be justification for not taking him, instead of justification for being patient with his limitations.

I don't think any amount of coaching can bridge the gap between the confusion, slow reactions, and remarkable ability to get blown off the line of scrimmage and someone you want on the field. After a couple years of admitted suckage, Washington and Meyer said this was the year it finally came together for him. The fact that game occurred during his best year has me scared for the possibility he might dress on game day. Also frustrated that a good player is on a different team.

Call me Homer but I'm digging the Niners draft this far. Their biggest needs were in the trenches especially on offense.
I'm looking forward to seeing the 2 giant OU D-ends make a Jared Goff sandwich in week 1.
Perhaps it was a bit expensive to get the Cardinal Mauler but I'm fine with it. Their line has been Swiss cheese the past 2 years and sometimes you have to overpay to get talent in the door.
I'm not predicting playoffs this year but I'm liking the pieces being out in place.

Call me Homer but I'm digging the Niners draft this far. Their biggest needs were in the trenches especially on offense.
I'm looking forward to seeing the 2 giant OU D-ends make a Jared Goff sandwich in week 1.
Perhaps it was a bit expensive to get the Cardinal Mauler but I'm fine with it. Their line has been Swiss cheese the past 2 years and sometimes you have to overpay to get talent in the door.
I'm not predicting playoffs this year but I'm liking the pieces being out in place.