theology of the little things.

To my daughter.

Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. ~Psalms 127:3

Three years ago today, I went into the hospital at 6:00 AM. I was the first scheduled surgery for the day. I got the shakes the same way I had five years before when underwent this same procedure. I remember how gentle the techs were, how they held me still from shaking as they plunged the world’s largest needle into my back. I vividly remember my doctor begin to sing as she slowly and with great precision removed you, my darling daughter.

You were different in nearly every way from your brother from the very beginning. You were planned, discussed in equal proportion to the enormous surprise your brother dropped upon us. And yet as easy as his time was in my womb, yours was difficult. I cried for you baby…. longing and BEGGING heaven for you just to make it. You were prayed for and loved by me, your daddy, your brother and all family and friends before you ever got here.And made it you did.

Today is your birthday! My lovely girl you are THREE years old. And you are a delight and a terror and if I didn’t have you I would be lost. You have survived… while that seem a dramatic word to use, you were born into a home with a boy that thinks, runs and speaks like a tornado 24/7 and to a Mommy that was terrified of girls. When I found out you were a girl, I was so strickenwith fear. Terrified of pink and barbie and….. how overwhelmed I was at how quickly you had all of my heart. So much calmer than your brother, so cuddly and sweet you became my favorite past time. And now, I want you to know that every birthday you have had and will ever have feels like a momentous personal triumph. I will intimately celebrate each minute, hour, day, week…..year, decade with indescribable joy and gratitude that the Lord God blessed with me with the enormous task of raising you.

There is so much I cannot wait to do with you, and so much I already miss….. your tiny tiny infancy:….so small the preemie onesy was to big. OUR time together alone… I even miss now sitting and feeding you every bite of your food. I am sincerely terrified of what lessons adolescence will hold for both of us, but for now I am overcome by how adorable you truly are.

You are independent . And so wonderfully verbal. I love hearing your squeals… the way you blurt out your mouthful of a name. I love that already your sense of identity demands that your name is: “Gabriella Elizabeth Williams”despite it being perpetually shortened by teachers, classmates and yes, me.

I love that you live off of dairy alone. I love that ice cream and chocolate cake make me “The best Mommy ever!!!”

I love when you beg me to pick you up crying, “Mommy I need to hold you….”

And this is what I see: a girl that loves to dance and sing, “Jesus loves me” and “Twinkle Twinkle” twenty times in a row without tiring.

I love the sweet sensitive spirit you have that questions the tears of every other, and will fall to pieces when your brother gets himself in trouble. I love how much you love him. I love that you are already his voice of reason.You will be an unconquerable team.

Good luck to the boy who tries to win her heart.

Your enthusiasm is magnetic. You light up our lives.

So Happiest Birthday, Squishi Squishidoo, Gabby Gabby Gabby Goo!

The Birthday Princess!

Happy Birthday my gift of sugar and spice. We love you.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~ Psalms 139:14