Cherry Flavoured Stress Slushies…

Ok animal stories this past week may have been a bit lame but they served their purpose – which was to distract me during the evenings from what is happening tomorrow. Obviously I am nervous. BUT this time a have a bad feeling… I know stupid right… been through it before, all went fine – I know it’s important to have a positive attitude but I just can’t shake it….

I think part of the problem is that I HAVE already been through this twice before and all went just fine, so it seems to me the odds for a complication are pretty darn good and about due. Two of the exact same operations, smooth as glass, now here I am going into my third, I am just really stressing out and like anything the more I try to tell myself to not think about it – of course, the more I think about it.

Off the charts stress is also the last thing you need before surgery – that causes stress as well, knowing I’m under stress – stupid vicious cycle… I am also freaking out because my Myasthenia is strong right now, and there are tons of online stories about general anesthetic causing MG crisis situations. The muscles, particularly the respiratory system, become weak and fail to properly start up once you come out of the anesthetic… so it is entirely within the realm of possibility I may wake up unable to breathe for myself….. of course it’s not a certainty – but I just can’t get it out of my head and it is wreaking havoc on my mental health….
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I am really freaking out and yes I’ve employed a number of relaxation and stress busting methods I’ve been forced to learn since this all started, nothing is working… so all I can do is sit here, waiting. Another added bonus of stress, it aggravates both the Mysathenia and the Atrial Fib… so with both of these acting up that – guess what – causes me more stress…. just freakin peachy…..

I’m under the knife about 9:45AM tomorrow morning – so there will be no posting until I am able…. I’ll try and be back up and running as soon as possible. Take great care everyone – I’ll miss our little chats….