Site Supporter

ATLANTA, GA—In order to aid the news station in preparing stories for consumption, popular news media organization CNN purchased an industrial-sized washing machine to help its journalists and news anchors spin the news before publication.

The custom-made device allows CNN reporters to load just the facts of a given issue, turn a dial to “spin cycle,” and within five minutes, receive a nearly unrecognizable version of the story that’s been spun to fit with the news station’s agenda.

One reporter was seen inserting the facts of a recent news story early Thursday morning.

“Okay, so we just slip in the location, the people involved, the facts of the story, and there we go,” he muttered as he fiddled with the buttons and dials on the machine. “Spin for five minutes on high, and we’ll have ourselves a news story.”

Minutes later, he removed the story and found it had turned into a perfect piece to push universal health care, common-sense gun control, and the removal of President Trump from office.

Site Supporter

Frankly, I believe the article; only difference is that occasionally the "spin" puts the wrong slant & has to be "re-spun" as indicated by the following:

Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in South Carolina when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler.

Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy he's going to write the story and says, "I'll title it 'Young Tiger Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal.'"

I'm not a Tiger fan", the little hero replies.

"Sorry, since we're in South Carolina, I just assumed you were", says the reporter and he starts writing again. He asks, "How does 'Gamecock Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack' sound?"

"I'm not a Gamecock fan either", the boy says.

"Oh, I thought everyone in South Carolina was either for the Tigers or the Gamecocks. "What team do you root for?", the reporter asks.