Monday, April 7, 2008

LAN, LAN ago, in the land of I/O-dhya, there ruled a king named DOS-rat. Three queens had he - CONSOLE-ya, CHECKSUM-itra and CIE/CAE (Kaikeyi). However, he had no line drivers - i.e. no one to perpetuate his line. In sheer desperation, he performed a great sacrifice after which his queens gave birth to four sons - RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.

RAM was a microchip off the old block - he had an excellent memory, he logged in quickly and semi-conducted himself in a manner fit for a king. His brothers, however, were only perpheralI ICs; everytime RAM addressed them, they said, "I-C". Once when RAM was only sixteen years old, the great sage Vish-WAN-mitra sought his help to fight some DAEMONs who persistently RAIDed his hermitage. After a brief collision, RAM routed them so easily that he came to be called DAEMON ROUTER.

RAM then proceeded to Media, where he married Pricess C+ta. C+ta's sisters, who were not her blood sisters and hence called TRAN-sisters, married RAM's ICs. This ceremony came to be known as TTL.

On the way back to I/O-dhya,the entourage met Parasu-ROM (or P-ROM as he was better known), the scourge of the kshatriyas. Taking up the P-ROM challenge, RAM aimed an arrow at him; he threatened to take away P-ROM's powers of locomotion, thereby converting him to Static RAM.

P-ROM humbly withdrew and the procession reached I/O-dhya. Twelve years passed and DOS-rat decided to crownRAM as his successor. However, CIE/CAE, at the instigation of her BIOSed maid MANtharai(a real plotter), insisted that her son Bug-rat be crowned king and that RAM be banished to the FOR(;;)est for fourteen years. At this cruel and unexpected demAND, a surge passed thru DOS-rat and heCRASHED, power-less.

RAM agreed to go to FOR(;;)est and C+ta insisted to go with him. She said that at the time of her marriage, her father had advised her to follow the footsteps of her husband like a shadow, hence, she came to becalled SHADOW-RAM. LSI-man was also resolved on accompanying his brother as a SLAVE LSI. Unable to bear separation,

DOS-rat died, setting the precedent that nosystemcould function in the absence of RAM. The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the sister of RAW-van, King of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he marry her. RAM routed her to LSI-man, who also politely declined. Perceiving C+ta to be the source code of her distress, she hastened to kill her. At this stage LSI-man executed the Memory resident code and converted SPARC-naak to SPARC-no-naak. He TRUNCATED her nose.

Weeping, SPARC-no-naak fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by sisters plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.Ignoring MAR-icha's compilation warnings not to RISC SPARC-ing a war with RAM, he insisted on going ahead.Accordingly, MAR-icha transformed himself into the form of golden sTAG and drew RAM deep intothe forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's voice. Fooled by this Virtual RAM cry, C+ta urged LSI-man to his brothers aid. Catching theopportunity, RAW-van delinked C+ta from her library and changed her root directory to LAN-ka by BROADCASTING her over sky.

PART-II

RAM and LSI-man started FINDing for the missing i-node, c+ta allover the forest. They madefriendship with the forest admin SU-greev and his powerful co-processor ha-NEUMAN. ha-NEUMAN was a legendary figure. He had a swollen cheek ARCHITECTURE. He was a child prodigy andcame up with newer methedologies and techniques which inspired many others.In particular his RAM mantratechnique became extremely popular for generations. SU-greev agreed to help RAM but first wanted helpfrom RAM todeletehisown root node VAALI.( valli?) SU-greev's intention was obvious. He wanted to be theonly admin around & wanted to grab all the consulting jobs in theforest.

RAM fought with VALLI and surprised him using some un-documented features.VALLI cried foul and started complaining to the justice department saying that it was not a fair fight.RAM then convinced everyoneusing his trademark MICRO SOFT WORDs coupled with a few FREE vedic goodies.Though some of the onlookers such as ORACLE (seer)and pancha bhutas such as SUN, disagreed with RAM's micro soft touch,they all shut theirmouths fearing RAM's reach among the user community. SU-greev was happy with the outcome and ordered his programmers to use powerful 'search' techniques to find the missing c+ta. His programmers searched all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Some of them shouted 'YAA-HOO' but ended up with 'not found' messages. Several other searchtechniques proved useless.

ha-NEUMAN using a radically different paradigm devised a RISKy technology and used it to cross the seas at astonishing clock speeds. On the way he bumped with a few satellite signals but was able to avoid deflections due to his own high strength. As soon as ha-NEUMAN reached LAN-ka, he had to collidewithits firewall called LAN-ki. The firewall made disperate attempts to stop ha-NEUMAN entering into its internal web, but the great ha-NEUMANdetectedaloop hole in LAN-ki's firewall. Using micro code, he broke the security and enteredLAN-ka.

After doing some local search, ha-NEUMAN found C+ta weeping under the weight of a TREE structure. ha-NEUMAN used a unique key-id (ring) to identify himself to C+ta. After decrypting the key, C+ta believedin him and asked him to send a STATUS_OK message to RAM through RING topology.Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C+ta tied ha-NEUMANand tried to terminatehim using pyro-techniques. But ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos among the raakshasas by SPAMMING the fire using someside effects.

Several raakshasa programmers were later called to restorethe operational stability in LAN-ka. ha-NEUMAN happily escaped LAN-ka again and conveyed all the STATUS messages to RAM and SU-greev.RAM felt happy with ha-NEUMAN's methedology of execution and embarked on a project code namedEXPLORER to delete the netESCAPING RAW-wan. He even created a bridge and GATEWAY to acess LAN-ka networkIn the mean time, signs were apparent in LAN-ka about the imminent danger from RAM's project EXPLORER, but RAW-wan refused to budge. Sensing disaster, his ownsub-programcalled vibhee-SHUN,executeda 'GO TO'statement and branched out to RAM's camp. RAW-wan still insisted on taking the all powerful RAM head-on. He decided to use the boons given to him by SUN, sHIVa etc.and prepared for the battle on a remote island on LAN-kacalled JAVA.He thought that his presence in JAVA will give him victory over RAM. RAM and his entourage made small and buggy progress in the begining but the world community on the whole started watching them withawe. In the battle on JAVA island, it appeared initially that RAM had no chance.

In fact one of the RAW-wan's SUN indrajIT(son) lmost killed RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra calledJAVA-BEAN. It appeared for a while that the world has seen the end of RAM's MICRO SOFT touch. But ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients from HILL GATES and concocted a potion using some herbs. His powerful HERBAL-COMPUTER aided him in making this potion which restarted RAM and LSI-man.Appearing, reluctant RAM used the source code secrets of RAW-wan given by vibhee-SHUN and onceand for all wiped out RAW-wan's presense on the earth. Before that he even SCHEDULED RAW-wan to come nextday when all his resources were locked up bu RAM's virus weapons He proved again that even the so called invincible RAW-wan cannot be netESCAPED from his power.

After the battle, RAM spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other user friendly programs to all users across the world and every one lived happily thereafter.

Manager asked to sardar at an interviewCan you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underwear'Teacher: What?Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,Do I look like a foreigner?Wife: No! Why?Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in thisvillage???Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi JayanthiSo Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg andtold WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and toldthe same. Cockroach walked. Then cut the third leg and did the same. Atlast he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs,it becomes deaf.

On a political rally sardar was arrested. Why??? A woman journalistwalking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

When sarda r was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjustedmirror. Sardar shouted, "You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I willdrive.

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There hestarted washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was hedoing. Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor, it caught fire and how willyou escape?Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mom seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry finally, he put in a call to God.

When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?''

God answered, "When I made women, I decided she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet her arms gentle nough to give comfort.

I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining.

I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears.

I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but some times tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed, It is her's to use whenever needed and is her only weakness."

"When you see her cry, tell her how much u love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel " She is special!"

Moral of the story is to give respect the Girls & Women in ur life. Coz they r special