We need to understand that any child we
know is vulnerable to sexual abuse. And as adults, their well-being
and safety is our paramount concern and responsibility. However,
it is not always possible for adults to ensure a child's safety.
It therefore becomes imperative to teach children on how to
protect themselves. Besides creating safe spaces for children
to talk to us, it is our responsibility as adults to learn,
to notice, and to react when we see sexually inappropriate
behaviors towards children and teens. Adults need to learn
how to respond when we think a child is being sexually abused.

This is a popular misconception.
Child sexual abuse is a universal problem affecting millions
of children across the world. Though it exists everywhere,
more reporting and research is available from the western
countries. Statistics show
that child sexual abuse is very prevalent. A World Health
Organization (WHO) report in 1999 stated that 1 in 10 children
is sexually abused. Extensive
data on the prevalence of child sexual abuse in India is not
available. However, some major research studies done in this
field present following results:

4

In a survey
with 350 schoolgirls in New Delhi by Sakshi (an NGO) in
1997, 63% had experienced sexual abuse by of family members;
and 25% of the girls had either been raped, made to masturbate
the perpetrator or perform oral sex.

4

Another
1997 study on middle and upper class women from Chennai,
Mumbai, Kolkata, Delhi and Goa by RAHI revealed that 76%
of respondents had been sexually abused as children, with
71% been abused either by relatives or by someone they
knew and trusted.

4

Samvada's
1996 study on students in Bangalore stated that 47% of
the respondents had been sexually abused with 62% having
been raped once and 38% having been repeatedly violated.

4

Tulir-CPHCSA`s study in 2006,conducted among 2211 school going children in Chennai,indicates a CSA prevalence rate of 42%.Children of all socio-economic groups were found to be equally vulnerable.while 48% of boys reported having been abused,the prevalence rate among girls was 39%.15 % of both the boys and girls were severely abused. Know More

Why
do people sexually abuse children? While child sexual abusers could
belong to the categories of either pedophiles or child
molesters, there could be a variety of reasons for their
abuse of children. Pedophiles are fixated at being sexually
attracted to children alone, while child molesters are
people who have "normal" sexual relationships
with adult partners and at the same time do not have any
qualms about having sex with children as well.Know more

Are some children
more at the risk of being abused?Though all children are vulnerable to
abuse, certain factors increase this vulnerability and make
some children more at risk of being abused than others. These
vulnerability factors include:4 Belief
that "respect" means unquestioning obedience to authority4 Lack
of appropriate sex education, either by way of vocabulary or
boundaries4 Adult
inability to teach children appropriate sexuality due to cultural
norms and embarrassment4 Social
norms giving children lower status than adults4 A
child's predisposition to love unconditionally and trust implicitly4 Desire
to please4 Values
stressing family honour4 Disability4 Dysfunctional
family4 Low
self-esteem of the child4
Having few friends/ isolated

Are boys &
girls equally vulnerable?
Yes, both boys and girls are vulnerable to sexual abuse. However,
with most available research on child sexual abuse focusing
on the abuse of girls, statistics show that more number of girls
are abused than boys. The research that exists on boys shows
that boys tend to report differently, more readily choosing
to deny their abuse or to act like they enjoyed it. This suggests
that more boys are abused than we know. More research is needed
for an accurate picture of the abuse of boys.

Can children
with disability be sexually abused?Research at the international level
has shown that children with disabilities are 3.4 times more
likely to be abused compared with non-disabled children. Other
studies have concluded that risk of sexual abuse is doubled
when a child is disabled (Child Abuse & Neglect, Feb 2005
& Mar 2004). Considering that almost 12 million children
in India are disabled (differently able), it is alarming to
consider the possible prevalence of sexual abuse of disabled
children in India. The issue assumes greater significance considering
societal denial of child sexual abuse, compounded by the fact
that children, especially those with disability, are viewed
as "asexual" and hence kept away from any information
on sexuality. The myth that disabled children cannot be abused,
since abusers find them unattractive and feel sorry for them,
is also widely held.

Why don't children
report about abuse?While a small percentage of children
report about abuse when it happens, others may find it very
difficult to tell because of a number of fears they hold in
their minds that accompany disclosure.

These fears areFear Of Remembering:
Sexually abused children often
cope by pushing the experience as far back in their minds
as they can, to "forget" and avoid feeling hurt
again.

Fear Of Losing Love :
Child victims often feel responsible
for what happened to them. Because of these feelings, they
worry that their parents and friends will stop loving them
once they know about the abuse. They also fear the separation
from loved ones that could result from their telling.

Fear Of Shame & Guilt:Children either know or can sense
that their sexual experiences with adults are wrong. Abuse
makes most victims feel "dirty". This makes telling
someone and acknowledging it occurred shameful. Older children
have also been known to suffer more from a sense of guilt
than younger children.

Fear Of Not Being Believed: Children
fear that they will not be believed when they disclose about
the abuse, which results in a feeling of helplessness. Furthermore,
many people to assuage their own feelings of helplessness
and discomfort, or through sheer ignorance, tend to believe
that children lie and make up stories about abuse. On the
contrary, children are almost always speaking the truth when
they disclose regarding abuse.

Fear Of Being Blamed:Children
fear that they will be blamed for any kind of sexual activity
and that they were willing partners. People also tend to believe
adults more than they would believe children. Offenders often
make the excuse that their victims "asked" to be
touched sexually. Children ask for affection and attention,
which is their right, and not for sex about which they do
not as yet have appropriate context for consent.

Fear Of Further Harm:Offenders often threaten
their victims with harm to their families as a means of maintaining
control. Victims then carry the burden of keeping their families
safe by not telling.

Another very important factor that
keeps the children from disclosing is their lack
of vocabulary of their private parts and therefore the resulting
inability to describe acts of sexual abuse.
Children are usually not taught the correct names for the
private parts, and are told that "nice girls/boys"
don't use those words that refer to private body parts or
sexual behaviour.

What
kind of a person would sexually abuse a child?Sexual abusers children could be anyone.
Fathers, mothers, siblings, stepparents, grandparents, and
other family members (uncles, aunts, cousins), neighbors,
caregivers, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, or anyone
else who is in close contact with children. While more cases
of men being sex abusers are reported, there is a small proportion
of women molesters too. At this juncture, it is important
to mention that studies show 30-50 percent of abusers started
their sexual offending behaviour as juveniles.Know
more...

Is
it possible for sexual abusers to stop abused?With specialized intervention programs,
child sex offenders may learn to control their abusive behavior.
An important aspect of these programs is acceptance of responsibility
by the abusers for their behavior. While these programs are
an essential part of the criminal justice system in developed
countries, efforts in this direction are still in their nascent
stages in India.

How
can we keep our children safe from sex offenders?We need to teach children about Personal
Safety. We, as adults, also need to educate ourselves about
sexual abuse and the risk factors or warning signs of sexually
abusing behaviors. Here are some things that you can do to
prevent the sexual abuse of a child you know.

Adults need to:

4

Teach children
to trust their feelings and that it is OK to say "no"
when someone they know and care about does something they
do not like.

4

Set and respect family
boundaries.

4

Speak up when "warning
sign" behaviors are seen or reported.

4

Get comfortable
talking about difficult topics such as sexual abuse and
saying the proper names of body parts before teaching
them to children.

4

Instruct
children the differences between Safe touch and Unsafe
touch and that secrets about touching are not OK. Children
also need to understand that people they know could be
capable of doing hurtful things.

4

Encourage affirm and
acknowledge a child's opinions and feelings - giving them
a sense of self esteem and confidence.

4

Involve your child in
setting up a safety plan that is easy to remember.

4

List for yourself and
your child whom to call for advice, information, and help.

Believe the child:
Children rarely make up stories about sexual abuse. Believing
the child is a major step in healing the hurt caused by abuse.
Tell the child that it is not her/his fault.

Remain calm:
Children are sensitive to and worry about your feelings. If
you respond with anger, the child may feel you are angry with
her/him. Children need to feel that they are no different
from others because of the abuse. Remaining calm will help
children to feel normal.

Affirm the child's feelings:
Children must be allowed to voice their feelings and have
them affirmed and taken seriously in order to continue the
telling and healing process.

Tell the child what will
happen next: Children who have
been abused lack control or options. They need to know that
other people need to be involved to overcome sexual abuse.
However, children need to feel participants in this process.

Support the child:
Sexually abused children often feel that they are alone, this
has happened to no one else, or no one will believe them,
and so they need as much positive adult support as possible.

Is
healing from sexual abuse possible?Yes, healing from child sexual abuse
is possible. Impact of child sexual abuse on each child may
vary. A timely, proactive and appropriate response that is based
on the strengths and resilience of each child in conjunction
with the innate ability of the human spirit to prevail, does
eventually lead to an optimally lived life.