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Tuesday, 12 July 2011

An open letter to my children

Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting PhilosophyThis post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared their parenting practices and how they fit in with their parenting purpose. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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My beautiful children,
I decided to parent you this way long before you were born. I decided to try for a natural birth. I decided to breastfeed and let you self wean as I think this is good for you both mentally and physically. I decided to cosleep as I believe babies need close contact with their carers.
I never let you cry it out. Not only because it is scientifically proven to be harmful but also because I just can't let anyone cry it out. I carried you until you were willing to explore the world all by yourselves and I enjoyed feeling you snugly. I chose to be gentle when it comes to discipline.
I am not saying this is the best way to parent but attachment parenting philosophy was close to my heart and I chose it.
I would love you to be well -adjusted and happy people when you grow up. I would love you to be contented people in whatever path you choose in life and I want you to know that mummy and daddy will always be here to support you. I communicate with you respectfully and I want you to feel safe in our relationship. I want you to know that you are loved unconditionally and will always be, no matter what.
I want you to live a carefree childhood. I want you to be surrounded with nature, books, art supplies and toys that sparkle your imagination. I want you to use your imagination, to dance, to laugh, to act silly.
I want you to know you are individuals just like grown-ups and you can have your say to some extent. If you think your spotty red shirt matches with your colourful stripey jogging bottoms, I will let you wear that.
It is always okay to be a little bit crazy ;)
We live abroad, away from family support. At times mummy finds it incredibly hard to meet the needs of you two. It's not always rosy and I do raise my voice, lecture or scold, sometimes more than I would like to, especially between 5-7pm, when everyone is grumpy and tired.
When you say you are cross with me, I tell you that it is okay to be cross. I want you to know that your feelings are okay and it is good to speak about them. I also tell you that mummy can get upset or angry too as we are only human, but that I will always love you. I try to foster closeness and connection after those tough moments. I try hard to be a more playful parent.
The early years are hard on us parents, but it does pay off as you grow and I am so happy to see that.
I love exploring the world and growing up with you and cannot wait for the adventures that await us in the future.
Love,
Mama