Thursday, March 10, 2016

So Rupaul's Drag Race is back once again for another year, which is brilliant because I was only thinking the other day how much sleep I was getting and how much I was enjoying not staying up until 3am trying to come up with funny ways to compare drag queens to Etsy products and thinking of euphemisms for Michelle Visage's boobs.

PHEW, THANK GOD THAT PERIOD OF HAPPINESS AND SANITY IS FINALLY OVER.

Yes, I'll be recapping the show for your reading pleasure once more, and once more I'll have my Holy Six Pack to guide and advise me, made up of the fiercest Ru Girls of all time: Sharon Needles, Jinkx Monsoon and Alaska Thunderfuck,Bianca Del Rio and the Pride of Australia Courtney Act, plus new addition for 2016 KATYA!

Here is Michelle Visage and I on the judging panel, which was conveniently situated on the surface of Mars.

And here we are trying out Instagram's great new filter, "Burns Victim".

I was asked to be a part of the Adelaide round of "Clash of the Queens" by In The Dark Events, the fabulous boys and girls who bring all the Ru Girls out to tour Australia (follow them on Facebook if you don't already).

Actual footage of my reaction when I was asked to judge a drag queen competition with Michelle Visage.

My friend and I actually had dinner with Michelle the night before the competition. Well, WE had dinner, she took Snapchats and stared at her empty plate. (She's a gluten-free tee-totalling vegan who doesn't eat soy or tomatoes and possibly only lives on oxygen and sequins, so you know, finding a restaurant that could accommodate her was a bit of a challenge.)

What's she like?

Well, she has FANTASTIC SKIN. I mean, seriously, flawless. If this is what happens when you stop eating literally everything then I'm on board. (Oh look, pizza!) (Fuck.)

She is small. She is funny. She has bad-ass dress sense. To dinner she wore boyfriend jeans, hair swept back with a bandana and a fur coat (it was 26C), with giant Swarovski crystal encrusted teddy bear earrings.

To the drag show she wore... well, here she is:

Because my friend and I are super professional, we brought along a Seduction album for Michelle to sign.
She pretended to be thrilled.

I'd also like to point out that both she and I wore matching facial diamante stick-ons. Obviously this makes us BFFs now.

She and I agreed on almost everything at the drag judging panel, so I (sadly) didn't get any side-eye or finger waves.

She did however throw some shade at Courtney Act, telling one queen: "You could teach Courtney Act a thing or two". Pretty sure it was meant less as a compliment to the contestant and more as a slight on Courtney, tbh.

We unanimously agreed the winner was Berri Juicy (check her out on Facebook) who did a bangin' lip sync to Nicki Minaj where her boob popped out. Fierce.

And here's the photo I took at the end of the night when I was a bit drunk because I liked my makeup and didn't want to take it off.

Meanwhile, RuPaul's Drag Race Season 8 starts on Monday, and I'll be recapping it as usual!

So you'd best go back and read my Season 7 recaps to get yourself in the mood. Start right here with EPISODE 1.