Best & Worst Vaporizer Names

Best & Worst Vaporizer Names

Branding is important. In fact, I’m sure many would argue that how you brand and market something is just as (if not more) important than the actual functionality or performance of the product itself. While this isn’t necessarily a good thing, it’s the [sad] reality of the world we live in today.

With that said, we thought it would be fun to take a look at some of the best, worst, and most interesting vaporizer names from over the years – and speculate if the name helped drive sales, or contribute to its demise.

LAUNCH BOX (Magic Flight)

Nothing cryptic here. When Magic Flight dubbed their hand-crafted, wooden portable the Launch Box – they didn’t mince words. It’s a box, and it’s gonna get you high. I don’t think anybody (including the folks at MF) could have predicted that this little guy would have become such a staple in the vaporizer community. However, thanks to unique functionality and aesthetics, the Launch Box has enjoyed great success, and is considered by many to be one of the best all around portables on the market.

VOLCANO (Storz & Bickel)

If longevity is any measure of success, than few other vaporizers can match the level of that achieved by the Volcano, from Storz & Bickel. Named appropriately after its mountain-like shape and vapor-spewing function, the Volcano is the pinnacle of desktop designations.

Every so often, a company brands something so well, that people start to replace the actual name of the product with the brand name. Kleenex (tissues), Q-tips (ear swabs), and Band-aids (bandages) are all examples of branding that transcended its original marketing intent to become English language fundamentals. The Volcano is the vaporizer industry’s version of this phenomenon. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone refer to vaporizers in general as ‘Volcanos’, I’d probably be able to afford one.

Honorable Mention: Firewood, Silver Surfer, Hot Box

PREDATOR (420 Lenny)

Perhaps the only thing worse than the name (and styling) of the actual vaporizer itself, is the name of the manufacturer (420 Lenny). In full disclosure, we’ve never used this unit, but that’s besides the point. With a name like the Predator, it’s safe to say that this desktop vaporizer was marketed towards the younger crowd. However, the name (and design) proved to be a tad aggressive for folks whose ultimate goal was to live a healthier lifestyle (not to hunt-down an extraterrestrial warrior).

VOLATIZER (Volatizer)

Similar to the Predator, the name Volatizer comes off as a little too ‘aggro’ for our tastes. It sounds less like a vaporizer, and more like some sort of death ray weapon Marvin the Martian would use to destroy the Earth (like the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator). There are actually two different versions of the Volatizer; the VM3 (pictured above) and the M2 Black Beauty. If naming a vaporizer the Volatizer wasn’t bad enough, adding the suffix Black Beauty is the shitty icing on the shitty cake.

This is another one we’ve never had the pleasure(?) of using, however, judging from old FC threads – it doesn’t appear that we’ve been missing much. To be honest, this seems like a case where even the most clever branding and marketing in the world wouldn’t have made a difference. These units just don’t look appealing, and let’s be honest, looks are important.

Even if this unit was called the PAX, it s wouldn’t sell. While still available on the manufacturer’s website (which looks like it was built in 1997), we think it’s time for Volatizer to take a queue from the aforementioned Marvin the Martian, and go “back to the ol’ drawing board”.

Deplorable Mention: Inhalater, Vape-or-Smoke

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My main objective is to present our readers with honest, unbiased reviews of all the top vaporizers on the market. With so many different manufacturers coming out with new units all the time, it can be difficult to stay current on all the latest vaporizer models and technological advancements. My goal is to keep consumers educated on what’s happening in the industry, so that they can make an informed decision when it comes time to invest in a vaporizer.