Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

Assuming that this walnut-faced pube-haired gurn on a stick began having sex at the age of 14, given he's now 24, that gives us 10 years of sexual activity.

Given he claims to have 'stopped' when in 'serious relationships' and given that for a relationship to be considered serious I think we can reasonably say it has to have lasted at least 3 months and upward. He says 'serious relationships' as a plural, so let's take a conservative estimate and shave 2 years for times when he was in a monogamous relationship.

Even this Wayne-Rooney-looking-in-the-back-of-a-spoon-alike lothario must get ill some of the time (weeping sores around the genitals, for instance), so let's knock 6 further months off for illness, rest, penile-reattachment surgery etc.

That leaves us with 7 years and 6 months, so roughly one new conquest every 2.7 days.

What can we possibly declare other than that this charmingly gormless belm-mugged Casanova of the 21st century is a very discerning young man. Or a lying halfwit. I'm undecided.

They must have been throwing themselves at him when he pops to the shop! Unless he has out on the pull every 2 days since he was 14. BTW never heard of him until this thread never watched TOWIE and feel far superior for it as well!

I can sort of see it as I fancied him at the start of the show (when he looked normal). He has good banter and can actually string a sentence together unlike pretty much everyone else on TOWIE (Goodger was the worst, I don't think she ever actually uttered one grammatically correct sentence in 3 years).

I always thought he had nice eyes too, very sparky and cheeky. Not particularly handsome but good patter, quite cheeky and funny. It was only once he returned that I started to dislike him (I believe he was horrid on CBB but I've never watched it), his arrogance and general penilhead-ness was palpable. He's clearly got a bit of a dark side, compounded when Lauren Pope said "I wish I could have the nice you all the time".

I doubt he's had even 800 women though. I also doubt Amy Childs is wild in bed.

I didn't know there were so many women with lousy eyesight all atracted to the same bloke

Haha, I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. I personally abhor Mark Wright in every way possible. I think he's nasty, arrogant, spiteful and lacking in every way - personality, intelligence, humour and absolutely charmless.

And yet ITV think he's appropriate to host a TV show (albeit a low rent show on satellite).

Haha, I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder. I personally abhor Mark Wright in every way possible. I think he's nasty, arrogant, spiteful and lacking in every way - personality, intelligence, humour and absolutely charmless.

And yet ITV think he's appropriate to host a TV show (albeit a low rent show on satellite).

The most alarming this about that statement is that it is proof positive that there are clearly a lot of desperate women out there with extremely low standards(and no doubt self esteem). Can't stand the little ****.