“Grey’s Anatomy” Deluxe Recap: Season 6 Finale

Well, it’s official. You can take your theories about when or whether Grey’s Anatomy jumped the shark and toss them out the nearest window. After six years of weird diseases, musical chairs pair-ups, and sex with ghosts, Shonda Rhimes knocked it out of the park with her edge-of-your-seat, shocking, wrenching Season 6 finale.

If you fell asleep during any part of the two-hour finale, there’s something seriously wrong with you. You should seek medical attention. Just don’t go to Seattle Grace. They have a lot of mopping to do.

Part 1: "Sanctuary"
It’s morning and Cristina and Callie are sitting at the breakfast bar, crying into their Fruit Loops. Stop crying. No, you stop crying. Owen and Arizona aren’t there these days, offering morning sex and drinking all their coffee, because life is complicated. On the bright side, more hot water for everyone.

Meredith, however, is in a great mood. She tells us the hospital has always been her school, her church, her sanctuary. As a kid, she learned to read in the OR gallery, got to draw on old charts and played in the morgue. Played in the morgue? No fair. The closest I ever got to a corpse at my mother’s job was the 100-year-old research librarian who smelled like wool.

Meredith now has one more reason to love the hospital: in one of its bathrooms, she finds out she’s pregnant. The first person she tells isn’t her baby’s daddy. It’s Cristina.

If it’s a boy, it can be McWeenie. If it’s born early, it can be McPreemie. If it’s a little person, it can be McTeenie. And because I’m biased, I’m hoping for a future McSoftballteamie.

Today is one busy day at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Arizona’s young patient, Ruby, needs her appendix taken out. Callie has patients, too, but she spends most of her time narrowing her eyes scornfully at Arizona and walking away whenever they happen to occupy the same nurse’s station. Whatever temperature it may be outside, it’s colder in the ER.

Teddy and Owen aren’t talking either, but not for his lack of trying. Teddy isn’t interested in rehashing how he told Derek to give her job away, what she does or doesn’t mean to him, and how smooth Asian skin is. Instead, she takes on a road rage victim with a bullet wound. Owen’s only use to her now is assisting in the OR. Cristina is even less useful, and is told to look after her post-op patients. Great. If she wanted to watch a bunch of bleeding people sleep, she could just go out to the waiting room.

Elsewhere, Bailey and Big Foot, a.k.a., Dr. Percy, deliver some bad news to a woman with a colostomy bag. Her surgery to remove it will be delayed until after she gets a blood transfusion. Sick of trying to match her shoes with her bag, she’s understandably peeved and immediately sends her husband out for pizza. Bailey reminds her pizza now means bowel prep and enema later. I love pizza as much as the next person, but nothing is worth the words "bowel prep."