Oops – I’ve been caught

Beth has left a comment for me and she poses a good point. Her comment to Not A Simeks is about the fact that I called her sarcastic. She questions my calling her sarcastic when I joke about the fact that she is physically incapable of being sarcastic. Do you know what the problem is with having friends who never forget anything you say? Well, actually, the problem is that they never forget anything I say.

The reason I say that Beth is incapable of being sarcastic is because at the bank we work at, let’s just call it The Bank of DM, we are trained on how to talk to customers. So, when you call us, instead of us saying something like “Account number” when we answer the phone, we will actually greet you with a pleasant voice and say our names and ask how we can help you. We learn how to be polite and courteous instead of rude and irritating. This is ingrained into our systems. We will start answering our home phones with “Thank you for calling DM, this is DM, how may I help you?” We will ask our friends if they would be willing to pass the penny (I’ll explain later) or if they are upset about something, we will say something like this “I understand why this would be upsetting to you and would be happy to assist you with this situation.” I have done this to a cat – “I understand why you enjoy sitting in my chair, however, I have had a hard day at work and would like to sit down. Would you be willing to move for me? Thank you. I appreciate your cooperation.”

So here is an example of Beth talking to someone who is annoying her and she wants them to shut up.

Person “My back hurts. I slept on it wrong and it really is upsetting me and everything in this world is all your fault and my parents didn’t love me enough as a child and I am a victim and all eyes should be focused on me because I am so wonderful and do you mind if I ignore you to concentrate on all my other friends?” (Okay, this is just an exaggeration, this is not a real person so if you think it’s you, you’re wrong. Of course, if you think it’s you, maybe you should try to stop being so annoying and actually spend some time with your friends, you jerk.)

Beth “Ohhhh, I am soooo sooorry that your back hurts. That must be very painful. Is there anything I can do for you?”

DM to herself “Hmm, this person annoys me. Why is Beth talking to them in this sweet voice? Why doesn’t she punch them like I would?”

So one day I ask her about this, why does she respond like this when I know she’s really upset that these people treat her this way? Do you know what she tells me? She says she’s being sarcastic. I have to tell her honestly that this is no form of sarcasm that I’ve ever heard before. Then it hits me. What she’s doing is mocking these people and pretending that she cares about their massive amount of complaining. Unfortunately, what would sound as phony sweetness with everyone else just sounds like she cares.

I would like to point out to Beth that to me, someone who is completely illogical, when she uses logic with me, I take it as sarcasm. Which means that everything she says to me sounds sarcastic.

Beth’s blog is here. It should be interesting to see her side of things.