Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I know...I know....I'm a horrible person for not actually blogging yesterday. I spent the entire day playing catch-up with all of the things I've left neglected around here lately. I didn't even get the list nearly finished either. Boo. I suppose I'll have to try to get more done today.First and foremost, let's talk about the VMA's on Sunday night. Holy Shit. Not only did we get to see some amazing performances, but we got to view, yet again, the douchebaggery that is Kanye West snubbing Taylor Swift.Seriously, who in the fuck does he think he is? Now, I know he has written the rhymes for a great deal of hip-hop's heavy-weights over the years, including my boy, Twista, but really? I remember back in college when he dropped his first LP, it was inspired, it was bare-bones. It reminded me of the start of hip-hop and I could only think that he was a fresh new voice on the scene. He was the lyricist turned rapper and I was happy for something different. However, that elation has crumbled to nothing over the years. He has proven himself over and over again to be a complete idiot with absolutely no couthe. That ego is apalling on anyone. Then, he feels the need to jump up on stage during Taylor Swift's first VMA acceptance speech and say that Beyonce's video was the best video of all time? Like Beyonce needs her ego stroked any more than it already has been? Don't get me wrong, I like Beyonce, but I think she's past the point where we need to reassure her of her talent. Not only is she one of the highest selling musical artists, but she has movies, clothes (hideous little frocks her mother makes), a fragrance line....the list goes on. Not to mention she hit a dick with a lottery ticket attached, you feel me?Poor little Taylor Swift, her moment was ruined. She seems like such a sweet, genuine, talented girl. She's redefining country music. (I know this is true since I have both of her CDs on my iPod and I'm firmly against country music.)It was wonderful and very classy of Beyonce to give away her acceptance speech for video of the year so that Taylor could regain the stage and make her speech. Beyonce was right, she did get her fiorst VMA when she was 16 with Destiny's Child, so I'm glad she took the perspective and made right by Taylor, especially since Kanye apparently thought he took the stage to save her reputation or something.So, I say everyone should do what I did a couple of years ago. Ban Kanye West from your music library. Just stop listening to his shit. Frankly, I like to know who I'm listening to. I like to agree with their perspective and feel that they have some soul. Kanye West is simply nouveau riche. He's tacky. He's trashy. He's classless. Frankky, he's an idiot. Seriously, google some of his quotes. At times, he puts George W. Bush to shame (a feat a know).

Ok, let's talk about some of the other highlights. Yes, Taylor Swift's subway performance was very cute. Jay-Z and Alicia Keyes turned it out as well. I loved their pairing. They are two of the most talented artists out there. The combination of J's hip-hop stlying and Alicia's R&B was flawless.Everyone knows the best performance of the night, however, was Lady Gaga. I love that bitch. I love her sense of theater just as much as her music. I loved her costume changes throughout the entire show. I loved that she accepted her award with lace over her face. Her performance absolutely gave me chills from beginning to end. She's going to be the next huge thing, mark my words. She's classically trained, she writes her own music, she's theatrical, and she thinks outside the box. Of course, sex appeal never hurts either. Love Love Love that ho. "For God and the Gays!" At least she gave a shout out to her biggest fan base! God knows, I spread the word about her to everyone that would listen last year.How awful was Madonna's Michael Jackson tribute speech? Chelsea Handler had me rolling last night when she showed a clip she put together of all the times she managed to say "I" in her speech. I mean seriously. I should probably explain my relationship with Madonna;I must admit that I loved her growing up. She was edgy. She was contantly evolving. She had amazing sex appeal. However, it's been these last several years that I've come to view her as a deranged freak show. I will admit, Confessions from the Dance Floor was an amazing CD, but it should have been her last. Or at least the last of that nature. Hard Candy was an atrocious LP. I knew she was done in my eyes when I saw her in thigh-high lace-up hooker boots dancing on a car with Justin Timberlake in 4 Minutes to Save the World. She's my mother's age! No really. My mother is almost 6 months older to the day. I would know as my birthday is 6 months apart from my mother's and Madonna's birthday is the day before mine.I totally respect her for keeping relevant all of these years. However, she could have taken the Tina Turner/ Cher route and kept it classy past a certain point. Nobody wants to fuck someone that could be a grandmother. When it gets to the point where you try everything to stay young, whether it be jewish mysticism (you're an Italian Catholic, Madonna, own it. I do.), sleeping in suran wrap, cutting EVERYTHING worth living for out of your diet, or sleeping with a 20 year old Brazillian underwear model, it's time to roll in the carpet and call it a show. So, Madonna, I implore you to step aside for the Lady Gagas of the world and let them take over and show us what they got. At least when we see them do the splits in their hooker boots, we don't mentally hear bones popping and worry that they just broke something.On another side note, Leighton Meester was looking fierce at the VMA's. She projects such a badass persona outside of Gossip Girl, I love it. Not to say Blair Waldorf isn't a bad ass. There's just a large difference between Upper East Side Badass and a Texas girl with a drug smuggling family. She kind of looked like she was going to kick jack Black's ass a few times. LOVE IT.

Which brings me to my next topic, GOSSIP GIRL. This show has been my obsession over the last two years. It premiered just as I moved to Canada and nothing got me through that lonely winter like the catty debauchery of the GG gang. It's like my weekly dose of my own snobbish private school upbringing. Unsurprisingly, when I caught back up with our very own Mean Girl this summer, she revealed that she, too, was a huge fan. We agreed that Chuck and Blair steal the show. We love their naughty, combative attitudes, all wrapped up in perfection and class. They aren't the villians of the show. They are the archangels, always leading the characters to the truth and throwing down their wrath whenever a job needs done.I am so happy they are finally an official couple this season, even cohobitating. I really hope Chuck can stay faithful this time....I'm thinking he might. I think Blair is his ultimate prize. She's his match and she can challenge and keep up with him mentally, which is what is lacking in all the other girls he toys with. Word is he's going to have a man-on-man makeout session this season. HOLLA. How cute are the little sexual role-playing games that Chuck and Blair play, though? Now, that's the relationship I've always wanted to have. I've always longed for my true match, my partner in crime. Nathan is the Yang to my Yin, I get that. He possesses all of the qualities and interests that I don't, which makes us a formidable couple to say the least, but Chuck and Blair are of one mind. I've only had that with one person in my life, my best friend, Cortez. No wonder people used to think we were together. I can't wait to see what shit little Jenny Humphrey gets her self into with her new status and money. She was such a badass last season, the only thing that held her back was that she was "Jenny from the block", the middle-class girl thrown into the world of the wealthy elite. Now, with her rock star father, and her upper-class socialite step-mother, I can only imagine what trouble she'll get herself into.I do wonder what's the deal with Serena. I love her character as well, the reformed bad girl. However, I like her best when she regresses to her old ways. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of that to come to, as she's hooked up with a bad boy over the summer. I am a bit perturbed by her lost little "Daddy doesn't love me" act, though. It's no surprise that I like strong female characters. Meet my mother, you'll get it.The Humphry's long lost brother has come into the picture this season. How soap-opera. The legitimate child of Lily and Rufus, given up for adoption and now, assumed dead, has appeared undercover as a "friend" or more to Jessica, attempting to infiltrate the family from within. What's his motivation? Why would he try to introduce himself through beguiled efforts? Wouldn't you just introduce yourself as the long-lost heir to the throne and take what's rightfully yours? What's his angle? He is cute, though. They need to do an end of the summer pool party on the show so we can see all of the actors half-naked for an hour. Give the public what they want, dammit!I can't wait for the next episode. The previews show the return of Georgina, whom I LOVE. Michelle Trachtenberg, a throw-back to the Buffy days of old, plays Serena's archnemesis, Georgina Sparks. Thus far, they have only used her in the previous two season to drop into town and stir up trouble for sweep's week, but now she's going to be a regular charachter. Hooray! I love her character because she is the quintessential bad girl. She uses her money and guile to get whatever she wants...usually revenge. She's unapologetic and quite crafty. Her duplicitious nature is exactly what the show needs.Has anyone else noticed how the CW LOVES to recycle actors and actresses? If one show doesn't work, or if the character doesn't work on the show, they just stick them in another world and another time slot. Joanna Garcia is definintely a veteran of this. She came to fame in Reba, playing Cheyenne. When that show ended, she was given Privledged, which I loved but which received lackluster ratings and was canned. Well, to my elation, she's now on the GG scene as Bree Buckley, the latest love interest of Chace Crawford's character, Nate. It should be interesting as their characters grandfathers are political enemies.Another CW show-hopper is Robert Buckley. This man-candy first appeared to us in the short-lived yet critically-acclaimed Lipstick Jungle. His abs kept me coming back again and again, as he played the boy toy on the side to one of the leading cougars. Then, the CW picked him up to play on Privledged, alongside Joanna Garcia as a final attempt to breathe a little life into the quickly-dying show. Now, he comes back in the picture with the CW's epic One Tree Hill, as a sports agent with a past. At least we know he won't get cancelled anytime soon.Which brings me to my NEXT topic. One Tree Hill. Ok, so I was never a huge fan of the show. It was just another high school drama like any other. I would watch it when I caught it on, but I never got too involved. It was when they skipped 5 years that I got interested. Instead of doing the typical, "College Years", they bypassed it altogether to see the characters as adults. All still friends, but with careers and pasts outside of the teenage realm.This season's opener was a little lack-luster for me. No new good gossip. They introduced a few new characters, as mentioned. It ended in news of a possible sex scandal between the married NBA player and some slut, but we all know that Jaime and Nathan's relationship is too perfect and Nathan's character is too nauseatingly altruistic to have ever cheated. Nice try, CW! What we all really want to know is WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE LUCAS AND PEYTON?!?!?!? I'm sorry, if they want me to keep watching, they are going to have to tell me what happened to them after the last season ended in Peyston lying in a blood-soaked wedding dress, having apparently lost their baby. Other than a few vague references to them in this episode, they shed no light on their outcome. I can only assume that Peyton didn't die, as Brooke (my fav) called her "stupid" or to some affect. Stop pulling our legs and give us the goods, dammit.

I'll have to give my notes about the season finale of True Blood later. That's a whole other hour of blogging and I have to get to my laundry list of chores and errands.

Holla.

My song of the day is Tits on the Radio by The Scissor Sisters....Only because this week in television has reminded me that there is life beyond music. HOLLA