50 Shades of Sensuality

February 17, 2015

In anticipation to the release of the popular R rated movie, Fifty shades of grey, I decided to visit an actual sex store and find out first-hand what all the hype was really about. With hype I mean secrecy, whispers, shame and embarrassment. But not before dragging my very conservative colleague with me of cause! So I parked the car at a convenient spot in Town and set off by foot on this very important mission.

The idea was to walk into the store as a married mother of 4, which I am, and pretend to have grown tired of ‘the way things are done in the bedroom’, which I’m not, but hey! It needed to be done for my fellow fabmoms out there. Because sadly, boredom in the bedroom is as much of a reality as going into a sex shop feels awkward! But I was about to change all that.

having forgotten it’s Friday the 13th, we noticed heavy clouds gather above us, and as a coloured, my first panic stricken thought was that I just did my hair the day before and if it started raining now, not only do I have nothing to cover them with, but they looks god awful when wet. It all kept getting worse from then on.

After reaching our destination 15 minutes later, I discovered the shop (or rather exclusive boutique) I was targeting, was in fact an online store and alternative arrangements had to be made, quickly. So while contemplating over a cup of coffee at a quaint little coffee bar on St John’s, we were pointed in the direction of Adult world not too far from there.

By the time we left the bar the clouds above had become increasingly darker and heavier and before I could say ”crap! “It started to rain. Feeling extremely frustrated with myself, firstly, for not finding the place I came here for and now having my hair turn to ‘mince’, we finally reached the black windowed, red taped shop.

What greeted us inside is everything I thought a sex shop should not be. Rows and rows of shelves filled with cheap DVD’s in a cramped little room with very little sex toys, most of which looked plastic. How anyone would want to put any of these inside their bodies, is beyond me. We lingered a while longer in the hopes of getting assisted and when the ‘assistants’ behind the counter continued their obviously much more important conversation, we left.

It was the premier of 50 shades of Grey that night and I had not reached my objective to commemorate the movie and provide you fabmoms with some “valuable insight” about the sex toy industry. By now it was pouring outside and we had about 20 minutes of walking to do before we
reached the car. While I felt defeated, my gorgeous Indian friend, with the long luscious locks, which looks even more luscious when wet, cheered merily about how much fun this was and that I shouldn’t be disheartened because we were making awesome memories “something to tell the kids one day”, she said. This, of cause, would be one of the things I’d warn my kids never to do.

But my sulking came to an abrupt end when an idea hit me while in the shower. I realised that my experience that day was exactly the lesson I needed to learn and one I could share with other women, girls and moms. It occurred to me just how important it is for sex shops and boutique owners and their assistants alike to practice considerable sensitivity when it comes to their customers. First of all, It takes a butt load of courage for a woman, or a man, to enter one of these stores and when we do, the very least we expect is a friendly face and a helpful word.

So to save myself from making the same mistake and boldly waltz into the first one I come across, I made a list of recommended and reputable sex stores (or rather sensual boutiques as I like to call them) in South Africa. Why don’t you try them out and tell me about your experience. I guarantee you it will be something.

Ladies can sit on the couch and read a book, or start exploring lingerie before moving deeper into the more ‘hard-core’ areas. The idea is that they can go as far along the journey as they are comfortable with.” Check out their 50 Shades of Grey collection here

Visit The Bedroom now also open on Buitengragt Cape Town: (021) 422 0307

This boutique was designed with a more mainstream audience in mind. Sporting sexy lingerie up front. But, like The Bedroom, as you go further into the shop “the naughtier it gets”and there is a little nook of sex toys and lubricants at the back.

‘Ola fellow fabmoms! Let me get something straight; this is not a parenting outlet. I get that no mom wants to be told how to raise her kids or rear her family and beasides, there are so many books, magazines and blogs out there, on the subject, so taking on a different approach, this magazine-style blog will be aimed at celebrating the mom as a woman who takes pride in her womanhood, help her get in touch with her sensuality and remind her that she ultimately a very sexual human-being. Although family is no doubt very important, in fact MOST important to us moms, a satisfied woman is a satisfied mom is a satisfied wife. Fabmom will provide regular posts on fashion, health, lifestyle and generally aim to inspire every mom out there. Because you can be a mom and fabulous too.