The Blyth Report: Mass Effect 2

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In space, no one will let you role-play your way.

By Jon 'Log' Blyth

Because I'm a freelancer, I do what I'm told. And I've recently had to play Mass Effect 2 through, twice. Once on 360, and once again on PC. As great as the game is - and it's bloody ace - two playthroughs of 20-30 hours of chatty combat in rapid succession is a downhill mudtrack to tongue-chomping madness. The first time I played through, I played as a Paragon, meticulously squirrelling myself into every virtuous corner, and resisting the trigger points that would make my life easier, if they seemed a bit naughty.

For the PC version, I played Renegade. And, as with the first game, I was amazed by the fact that being an up-yourself douche provoked identical levels of productivity and loyalty from your crew. The Paragon that I really am (for Paragon, read: social coward who just wants to be liked) secretly hoped everyone would tell my new rude Shepard that he could swivel on it, unless he changed his tone. After all, what's the point in being nice, if some brazen dick could foxtrot along, get the job done, and still be liked?

Click to watch Episode 1 of The Blyth Report.

Then, I became sick of torturing myself. Delirious from clocking 50+ play hours (incidentally, only agree to review BioWare games if you're paid by the hour), I stopped wanting to be Shepard. If you're going to call yourself a role-playing game, Mass Effect, why can't I play a personality that I identify with, instead of this universe-saving angel/arsehole? Why can't I just be a gay bloke, or a puerile moron? I'm someone who'll make himself laugh for a day doing this - why can't I do that in SPACE?

That's what this video above is about. And finally, apologies in advance. I spend so long in the second playthrough trying to do a sex, that it became the defining experience of the game. I'm quite aware that this is more damning of me than it is Mass Effect. Please try to enjoy it anyway.