Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm like the Pied Piper for Rat Snakes

After my last appointment today, my nurse Paige said to me, "You gotta come see this! Quick! Its not an emergency or anything, but come here!" I followed her out the front door of our practice, which is in a strip mall. Slithering along the front windows of our clinic, I instantly recognized a RAT SNAKE. Ya know, the kind I've been seeing around my house. Now, 20+ miles away at my job site is another one. The people who work at the Chinese restaurant next door were watching it but cowering at a distance.

"Go get a bucket!" I said, "I'll get it!" This guy had pretty spots on his back,and he was also pretty pissed. We put the trash can in front of him, but he wouldn't go in it, so I grabbed his tail, of course. He lunged at me, but I jumped out of the way. My smart nurse had brought out the trash can and a large stretcher to use as a lid for the can. With the snake in one hand and the stretcher in the other, I tried to convince the snake to go in the white can. "Smash him with the stretcher!" Leah said. Brilliant idea - I pegged him with the stretcher about 10 inches below his head, someone else put the can in front of him, and you bet he went willingly into the trash can.

We carried him triumphantly through the clinic out to the green belt behind the parking lot. While Susan did Steve Irwin impressions ("Doc-tah Mah-tin catches the most poisonous snahke in ahll of Awe-stralia!") some of our coworkers looked on with some annoyance (they were actually trying to practice medicine, not wrangle snakes).