Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Man flu

i’ve got a cold as has Master. This is first one this year. Obviously making up for last year.

Master had a flu jag, dont think its working, so as men must do in these situations He's told everyone within hearing distance that He's ‘not well’ in a weak, croaky, bunged up voice followed by lengthy bouts of sniffing and looking helpless.

manflu

I’ve just been looking up the common cold, and it’s much worse than i feared. Apparently Master is dying through a severe version of man flu. Just check out these scary facts and fiction points nicked straight from manflu.info site, i paid particular attention to the women role section)

Man Flu is simply a cold, the symptoms of which are greatly exaggerated by men.

FALSE – Man Flu is a serious and potentially life threatening illness, and will no doubt soon be on the Health and Safety Executive’s list of Reportable Diseases. Man Flu is a distinct disease in its own right, and should not be misdiagnosed as a mere common cold.

Women can catch Man Flu

FALSE – Man Flu does not attack humans with the XX chromosome, only those with the XY chromosome. This genetic mutation effectively immunises females against Man Flu. This may account for the reason that women widely believe that Man Flu is actually just the common cold, but with a bit of extra drama thrown in for good measure.

The best way to deal with Man Flu is to just ‘get on with it’

FALSE – Extensive research has proven that the only way to combat the crippling effects of Man Flu is complete withdrawal to the sofa and uninterrupted mollycoddling by the girlfriend / wife/slave.

Men have a slower recovery rate from Man Flu than women do from the common cold.

TRUE – The effects of Man Flu can linger for days and days, compared with just a few hours for the common cold. If the man is not permitted the correct period of convalescence following an attack of Man Flu he can be plunged back into a critical condition (see The Woman’s Role as Carer).

Man Flu is just a way for men to get sympathy / time off work / time in front of the telly

FALSE – Man Flu is a bona-fide and debilitating illness, would men make a meal of that sort of thing?

The pain and suffering of Man Flu is similar to that of child birth.

TRUE – Though at least with child birth it’s all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks…

The best cure for Man Flu is a cocktail of Night Nurse, Day Nurse, chicken noodle soup and whiskey.

FALSE - There is no cure for Man Flu. Once infected the afflicted can only hope that the gods roll the dice in favour of life rather than slow, lingering death.

While suffering from Man Flu, men would like nothing more than to go to work and try to forget about their affliction.

TRUE - However, men recognise the huge risk of spreading Man Flu to other men. Indeed, a single cough in the wrong direction could hold enough Man Flu germs to wipe out a small rainforest tribe.

Flu Jab

Seasonal flu is a highly infectious respiratory illness caused by a flu virus. It spreads rapidly through the coughs and sneezes of infected people.Seasonal flu immunisation, or the flu jab, is the injection of a vaccine against flu. It gives good protection from flu that lasts for one year.The flu jab is offered to people in at risk groups,(Masters work give it for free, cuts down on sick days ) who are at greater risk of developing serious complications from flu. To stay protected, they need to have it every year.The vaccine, which is normally available in the autumn, is made from the strains of flu that are expected in winter.

How effective is it?

The flu vaccines currently available give 70-80% protection against infection, with flu virus strains closely matching those in the vaccine.

Effective..? Nope cause Master had the jag last week and both of us now has flu, im dying quiely. Master being a man has the man flu strain and is dying loudly. All i can do is supply the necessary tissues and smile and say Yes Sir when He calls me rudholf.(red nose)

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i do not want !!

"i do not want to be the leader. i refuse to be the leader. i want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. i want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. i don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman i want to be dominated. i don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that i am capable of doing, but i am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding. "