Was This a Great Country or What?

Other than that juicy tidbit the news is pretty bleak across the political landscape. The American people’s lack of understanding with regard to the history of their country has always been frustrating enough. But their complete inability to even remember the last ten years makes you want to pull your hair out. Have they been asleep for the last decade? Apparently they have! Yesterday they pointed the proverbial pistol at their heads – AGAIN. Shit Mountain is about to undergo a massive mudslide – and we’re all gonna get buried, baby! The political cataclysm is upon us. Welcome to the United States of Amnesia! Enjoy your stay!

Perhaps “amnesia” is not the proper diagnosis. Maybe “insanity” is the better term. “Insane” is what they call people who repeat the same mistake over and over, expecting a different result with each repetition. That works for me. Americans ees dah craziest peepole!

I have been silently (and shamefully) celebrating all night long. In fact I have no recollection of what happened after 10PM – the alcohol-induced buzz was that strong. And I have every reason to celebrate, thank you very much! I am, after all, one of the few people in this once-great nation that earns under two-hundred and fifty-thousand dollars a year who will benefit from the electoral tragedy that occurred last evening. I have had delivered to my doorstep – gift wrapped, no less – six years of dynamite material. For someone who makes his or her name commenting on the train-wreck of American politics, this is a great time to be alive. The more pathetically dumbed-down this country becomes, the higher my stock rises. Thank you, America. Your utter f**king stupidity is my ultimate reward. I am humbled and grateful.

NOTE TO MY REPUBLICAN FRIENDS:
Now, folks, please try not to take that last paragraph too personally. I know every one of you are very intelligent, decent human beings. I wouldn’t choose you as my friends were that not the case. But, given all that we now know about the nutty party you’re registered with, a vote for the GOP yesterday was (and I say this without an ounce of equivocation) a monumentally, mind-numbingly stupid vote. Please, you need to turn off FOX Noise. There. I said it. Love ya!

Still it has to be conceded that the Democrats got exactly what they deserved on Election Day 2010. So many of them have spent the last two years running like frightened rats from the legacy of their party. Most of them refused to embrace the ideals of traditional liberalism – or even explain them – to their clueless constituency. In fact they ran from those ideals. If you happen to be driving down Route 9W in the vicinity of Hyde Park, NY this morning, a distinct rumbling can be clearly heard. If you’re traveling north, the noise is coming from the rose garden of a mansion on your left. It is the sound of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt doing somersaults in their graves. They wouldn’t recognize that worthless party today. The Dems have one thing to be thankful for, though. The carnage that was inflicted on them last night would have been much greater had Republican voters not foolishly nominated so many certified kooks during the primary season. Isn’t life wonderful?

All across the board the results were too grim to even contemplate. A reactionary twit named Rand Paul will be representing Kentucky in the United States senate until at least the year 2017. Isn’t that a lovely thought? This is the same jackass who came out against the Civil Rights Act of 1964. I am a descendant of generations of Kentuckians. My maternal grandfather Walter Clements was a native of Louisville. That’s a photograph of him on the left, taken when he was a young man. I’ve always been proud of my ancestral connection with that state. I’m not proud anymore. In fact I’m embarrassed by the association. Besides, their bourbon is overrated. Screw those people.

A special tip of the hat is due to the good folks of the great state of Wisconsin. Last night they tossed out one of the two greatest senators of my lifetime “for a pompous, lying, tea-sippin idiot who has stated his admiration for working conditions in friggin’ China!” Those are the words of a correspondent of mine named Eloise Bradley. That’s okay, Eloise. Russ Feingold was too good for those heartland hillbillies anyway. I have a funny feeling that they’re going to miss him when he’s gone. Assholes.

The biggest disappointment last night (for me at least) occurred in New York state’s nineteenth district. Two term congressman John Hall has been given the boot. Back in the seventies he was the lead singer and guitarist for the group Orleans. It was John who wrote and sang the soft rock standard Dance With Me (“Night is falling and I am calling – Dance with meeeee”). His defeat last night was cosmic pay back for that little musical atrocity, I suppose. Still he was a good congressman and a smart guy. He got seriously stomped by a Tea Party robot and uber dingbat named Nan Hayworth. Nice.

Another local disappointment was the defeat of the candidate for NY State Senate David Sager. He came close to defeating a twelve-year Republican incumbent. It’s a shame because he would have made an outstanding senator. Perhaps some day he shall. Sager won’t be fading away anytime soon, that’s for sure. I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was about the outcome of this particular race. As far as local politics go, my candidates never win. The Hudson Valley/Catskill area of New York is one of the most beautiful places in the country. It has been the inspiration of generations of artists, writers, poets, and painters. The people who reside here are lovely. Just as nice as can be! But they’re a bit dense – obviously.

“We have met the enemy and he is us.”

-Walt Kelly

The voters were manipulated like silly putty this year. They actually believe that mess their country finds itself in was created by Barack Obama – when in fact it wasn’t. They think that Obama is a radical socialist – when in fact he’s nothing of the sort. They even believe they’re being taxed more by this president – when in fact ninety-five percent of them are being taxed less. Most people who describe themselves as “conservative” refuse to even believe that the guy is an American citizen. When people are as massively ill-informed as this, societal disaster is all-but-inevitable. Expect the same kind of persecution of this administration that dogged the Clinton White House twelve years ago. Count on it.

The results of last night’s electoral disaster can be summed up very handily: On the second of November 2010, the American people committed economic suicide. They sent a message that they are upset at what has happened to their country. Their solution? Handing the House of Representatives back to the political party that is mostly responsible for the financial catastrophe they are now experiencing. I wish I were making this up. I’m not. They deserve everything that is going to happen to them. Everything.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY
tomdegan@frontiernet.net

AFTERTHOUGHT:

Special thanks to cousin Jeremy Hook Degan for the photograph at the top of this piece. It speaks volumes. That’s Jeremy on the right, eloquently expressing what I’m feeling at the moment. One picture is worth a thousand words as they say. Standing next to him in the photo is his brother Nick Degan. Don’t I have the coolest family? Seriously!

About Tom Degan

Tom Degan is a fifty-four-year old video artist who in 2006 became so thoroughly disgusted at the state of America's national political dialogue, he decided to take time off to become a freaking civics teacher. He was born in Goshen, NY in 1958 and, after living all over the United States and Canada, moved back there in 1992. He is a high school dropout who in 1977 received an equivalency diploma (HEY, IT'S LEGAL!) He attended SUNY in Middletown, NY and in 1986 studied journalism at the New School in New York City. He is the recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has worked as a truck driver, a radio DJ, and a metal worker... OK, he didn't ACTUALLY receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but he DID get some kind of ribbon of sorts when he was in the Cub Scouts. He is the inventor of Cheez Whiz and lives off the royalties on the sales of that fine product. He loves children and little baby duckies. FULL DISCLOSURE: He didn't really invent Cheez Whiz. His address is: 2590 Rte 17M (PO BOX 611) Goshen, NY 10924 (845) 294-5714

Wellness

Carole Bartolotto: The problem with concluding that GMOs are safe is that the argument for their safety rests solely on animal studies. These studies are offered as evidence that the debate over GMOs is over. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Environmentalism

Walker Foley: Elected officials seem to think there’s only one side of this property rights argument. The people who live in these communities have rights too, but the oil companies seem to have the jump on [the politicians’] side of the fence.