I don't have the money it takes to keep fighting these hideous things when they inevitably return. So I don't know what I'm going to do. It seems like an impossible battle. I feel in total despair and have never felt this down before in my life. I feel my life is very bleak right now.

They're frustrating as hell, but in the end just insects. You're not missing any limbs from them, they haven't paralyzed you, you're not dying a slow death from an unknown toxin, your hair isn't falling out, your butt doesn't look as big as you think it does; relax and go about this logically.

It's tough, and you are allowed to have days when you wallow in it. But, it's important that you also take "breaks" from the worry, even if it's just a walk. And, there are a lot of success stories. Many took a long time.

I once heard a doctor said if one really has depression, which your doctor will determine, talking with a mental health professional, pastor, ... will not help. The depressed person has to be medicated. That's why I highly recommended you to see your doctor ASAP.

Hope you feel better soon.

JustChecking, not a therapist / bug pro
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In the experience of many here, talk therapy can indeed be helpful with depression. And even when medication is needed (which it might be), talking is usually the first step to getting other kinds of help. Seeing a doctor is a good first step because they can help direct you to resources and find the needed care (of whatever type). If lack of funds or lack of insurance are issues, doctors or social workers should be able to direct you to resources which can help.

In addition, as the sticky notes, if you ever feel like you might harm yourself, please see a therapist or doctor immediately or call 911 and get emergency help.

Just remember that they are little more than simple small brained life forms, and with just a little time devoted to researching the little freeloading bastards through reputable online sources such as this site, and the Jeff White videos on YouTube you will start knowing the enemy and realizing these things aren't at all invincible and can be put in their proper place...with or without money. The proper use of things like DE powder, steamers (No need to pay extra for a steamer with "bells and whistles"), and cheap and easily obtained contact killers like rubbing alcohol can go a long way in keeping bedbugs at deaths door and won't cost an arm and a leg either.

You will get through this!

.....I am NOT an expert.....

Any advice i give here is based solely on my own personal experiences in dealing with bedbugs & other household vermin.