Some Great “Independence Day” Habits for Your Children and Grandchildren

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Parties and parades were on the schedule for millions of Americans earlier this month.

July 4th recently passed and talk of “Independence” is in the air!

The type of independence I’d like to share with you today, however, has a little bit of a different slant than what you’ll hear bandied about on television.

As a parent, one of my goals is to have Caroline and Michael grow up to be as happy and “independent” as they can possibly be.

I’m of the strong belief that there is a measurable link between the two. As you grow older, the less you “have” to depend on your parents, your friends, your family, your employer, your government, etc., the happier you will be.

This is not to say that you don’t want to be “inter-dependent”. In a free society, we are all inter-dependent. We all want to bring something to the table in exchange for what others bring.

You just don’t want to have your well being and happiness in life entirelydependent on anyone or anything else.

As an adult, if you still have very high levels of dependency, your stress level increases dramatically and your level of happiness decreases.

Yet, unfortunately, the more I look around, the more I see just the opposite being taught and instilled in children from the “parenting” that I witness, to the curriculum being taught in schools.

One of the areas that I believe is seriously lacking in attention in parenting, and even more in schools, is teaching “financial literacy”.

From my own personal experience, I sure wish that I had been taught more at an early age. It would have saved me some serious bumps and bruises along the way.

Curriculums have changed dramatically over the years, but one thing is the same. There is little or no discussion about personal finances and how “money” works.

Yet, if you take a step back and analyze it for a moment, so much of the stress in our lives is dictated by the degree to which we have figured out how money works.

A couple of years ago, one of our Relaxing Retirement members shared a story about some contrasting experiences in this area. The stories were so compelling that I wanted to share them with you.

In one instance, his daughter, who is a professional working in Connecticut, was working extra hours babysitting for a well-to-do family with five children.

What she observed was incredible.

First, the children are taught from birth that of every dollar that comes into their lives, whether that be from a gift, work, etc.:

1/3 goes to savings,

1/3 goes to charity, and

1/3 goes to spending.

Wow! You may very well challenge those percentages, but the principle and structure is so impressive.

What do you think the impact on their lives will be by having this system ingrained in their minds?

How financially independent will they be at an early age vs. the overwhelming majority who instead spend 110% of what they make (with 10% placed on credit cards!)

The second habit she observed was that, at an early age, each of the five children took turns each month writing out checks and paying the family’s bills, thus watching the way money flows and what things cost.

Again, how incredibly valuable at such an early age!

To contrast that, this same Relaxing Retirement member was walking down the streets of Boston after a Red Sox game with his brother and nephew, who happened to be a 20 year old junior at Boston University at the time.

While waiting on the street for his brother to purchase a book, our member and his nephew were standing outside Abe & Louie’s Restaurant reading the menu in the window.