I’m expecting my first baby in a few weeks’ time, and my friend and I have shared details of our pregnancies with each other for the past eight months.

Morning sickness, backache and puffy ankles have all been discussed. So far, so similar. But the last line of her announcement left me feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

As a slightly nervous and excited mum-to-be (is there any other kind?), my thoughts are focused on bringing my baby into the world safely. It never crossed my mind that anything else mattered.

But if my friend’s text is anything to go by, it seems people aren’t just waiting to hear that I’ve given birth, but also how I’ve given birth — and judging me for the choices I’ve made along the way.

I’m delighted my friend has had a healthy baby.

News_Module: Teresa Palmer

Would I have been any less delighted for her if she’d chosen a C-section or an epidural?

Of course not. So why did she feel the need to brag about the type of labour she’d had?

“Many women plan the ‘perfect’ birth and when it’s possible for them to achieve that, they feel a huge sense of relief,” says psychologist Kimberley O’Brien of Quirky Kid Clinic.

“But it’s easy to brag about things when they go well, and birth situations are often out of your control. Bragging is … only made possible when you’re lucky enough to have had no complications.”

Aussie actor Teresa Palmer was one of those lucky ones. Writing about her son’s arrival on Instagram, she gushed: “Introducing Bodhi Rain Palmer born safely, lovingly and naturally last night.”

It’s a loaded statement. Is she really suggesting he would have been born any less lovingly — or safely — if she’d needed intervention to help her labour progress smoothly?

If she wasn’t, then why even bother mentioning that he was born “naturally”?

Whatever her reasoning, her experience is in the minority. Thirty-two per cent of Australian women have caesareans, according to the most recent report from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.

News_Module: Teresa Palmer

Seventy-six per cent of those who give birth vaginally have at least one type of pain relief, and one in nine of those women have some instrumental intervention such as forceps or vacuum extraction.

Yet I’ve never heard anyone announce the birth of their baby by saying: “Introducing baby Joe! Born with an epidural and forceps.” Perhaps they realise that’s not what’s really important.

So, if the majority of women need intervention or pain relief when giving birth, how sad we’re not talking about it more openly. The pressure we put on ourselves to have a certain type of birth experience is taking away from what should be an incredible moment — however it unfolds.

When Kate Winslet had her daughter Mia, now 13, she said she was “born naturally and without complications”. Several years later she admitted she’d lied.

“I’ve gone to great pains to cover it up. But Mia was an emergency C-section,” she revealed to New York lifestyle mag Gotham. “I just said I had a natural birth because I was so completely traumatised by the fact that I hadn’t given birth. I felt like a complete failure. I felt like in some way I couldn’t enter the ‘powerful women’s club’.”

News_Image_File: Kate Winslet and her former husband Jim Threapleton with their baby daughter Mia in 2000. Winslet says she felt like a “failure” for having a C-section. Photo: Julien Cornish Trestrail.

As far as I’m concerned, growing a mini human inside of you for nine months is a pretty powerful thing to do, regardless of how they eventually come into the world.

The baby brag isn’t limited to giving birth.

Putting on minimal weight in pregnancy (I’m looking at you, Gisele “I did kung fu until two weeks before Benjamin was born” Bündchen), not taking time off after having the baby (“My maternity leave will be a few weeks long and I’ll work throughout it,” trumpeted Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer) and having a baby who sleeps through the night (“She’s been a dream baby,” sighed Jodi Gordon after giving birth to daughter Aleeia) all appear to hold bragging rights.

Alicia Silverstone? Miranda Kerr? Yes, we’ve noticed you, too.

The ‘Breastapo’ earn a brag category all of their own, though. “Multi-tasking Mama!” Teresa Palmer wrote on Instagram next to an artfully grainy photo of her breastfeeding her son. “Breastfeeding whilst at a friend’s party … Perfect night with my babes and friends.”

Don’t even get me started on the image of her mid-hike, showing off her toned stomach

in a crop top, giving Bodhi a feed. “My body feeds him whenever he needs,” she boasted.

News_Module: Teresa Palmer

“Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. Never something to be ashamed of. Bonding in the way God intended,” Tammin Sursok crowed on @officialtamminsursok, alongside a picture of her daughter, Phoenix, happily suckling at her (perfect, pert) breast while she looks on adoringly through her coiffed curls.

Of course breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed of.

But I’m guessing she wouldn’t be posting pictures if she had cracked nipples, unbrushed hair and a screaming baby who didn’t feed well.

I’m not saying I want to hear horror stories — no mum-to-be wants to be so overwhelmed by the potential pitfalls of her new situation that it paralyses her with fear — but perhaps we should simply be honest.

News_Module: Tammin Sursok

Show the tricky times as well as the wonderful ones. Admit there have been days where we’ve been in floods of tears, exhausted or trying to get our overtired baby to feed.

“Most people, celebrities or not, want to put a positive spin on the images they send out into the public domain,” says O’Brien.

“But as consumers of these messages, we have to be mindful about buying in to them.

It’s important to remember we are seeing a carefully constructed image — not the reality.”

Thank goodness, then, for the antibraggers.

A straight-talking friend sent me an email after I admitted to a weepy moment when feeling the pressure from the everincreasing number of baby braggers.

“Your baby is the most important thing,” she wrote. “Not your own expectations of the type of birth you’ll have or the mother you’ll be.”