Asking for a helping hand a sign of strength, not weakness

Communicating the need for a lifeline or an extra set of hands can be a huge challenge for many professionals, particularly the perfectionists — those who want to appear able to handle everything on their plate, no matter how big that plate gets.

Consider the case of Jane, who is a fast-rising manager in the corporate hierarchy. She has taken on more and more responsibility every year with corresponding raises and promotions. She is a high achiever who expects a lot of herself. The organization has come to expect a lot from her as well.

The problem, however, is sometimes Jane gets stuck with too many items on her "to do" list. When her boss presses her on where she is on a particular project, she feels reluctant to communicate candidly by saying, "Bob, I am overwhelmed right now with so many projects. I’d like to delegate the XYZ project to Jim. I will coach him on it, but my instinct is he needs to be the point person on getting it done, even though ultimately I’m the one responsible for the outcome." That kind of healthy and direct communication is all too rare in business today.

Very often, instead of communicating in such a direct fashion, Jane gets frustrated and asks herself, "How can I tell Bob I’m not able to get done something he assigned to me, when I just got a big promotion and raise? I’m getting paid to juggle all these things. If I tell him I need help, it is a sign of weakness."

Now, if Bob is remotely realistic, fair and practical, the only reaction that would make sense is for him to say, "Jane, I appreciate you being upfront about the situation. Frankly, I’d rather you tell me now that you are concerned about getting the project done right as opposed to waiting until after the fact and having us miss a deadline."

But let’s not kid ourselves. There also are bosses who would say, "I don’t care how much work you have. That’s not my problem. You know what your job is. Just get it done and keep the complaining to yourself."

Clearly, either one of these reactions is possible, or, some reaction in between. But what is most important is that high-performing professionals get in the habit of proactively communicating their concerns about getting a particular project done right when they are simply juggling too much.

Another practical communication approach is to present the issue to your boss this way: "Bob, I’ve got four projects that you’ve told me are of the highest priority. I need you to do some triage and tell me which of these four is the most important and then put the others in priority order." Often, by just doing this simple communication exercise, Jane can figure out which of all the "really important" items on her plate are the most important.

The problem occurs when there is so much fear about communicating in such an upfront and direct manner that professionals wind up remaining silent and their work ultimately suffers.

Doing this right is not easy, but the alternative of doing nothing will produce some pretty negative outcomes.

So the choice is yours. Even if you are the best professional on your team, it is not a sign of weakness to say you need help. In fact, it can show how smart, strong and confident you really are. The sooner you learn that, the better you and your organization will be.

Steve Adubato speaks and coaches on leadership and communication and is the author of "Make the Connection" and his new book, "You are the Brand." Visit his website at stand-deliver.com or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com.