Adolescence can be a very turbulent and difficult time, even for the most well-adjusted child. Depression strikes teenagers and adults alike, and can have far-reaching implications when kids suffer from emotional difficulties that they aren’t sure how to manage. After noticing the signs of depression in your teen and helping him to get the treatment he needs, understanding the root of his depression can help to make the situation more manageable for everyone involved.

While this is by no means a comprehensive list of all causes of teen depression, these ten situations can be very common contributing factors to depression.

Academic Stress – Kids are under an enormous amount of pressure to succeed academically, especially as the costs of higher education rise and more families are reliant upon scholarships to help offset the expense. Stressing over classes, grades and tests can cause kids to become depressed, especially if they’re expected to excel at all costs or are beginning to struggle with their course load.

Social Anxiety or Peer Pressure – During adolescence, teenagers are learning how to navigate the complex and unsettling world of social interaction in new and complicated ways. Popularity is important to most teens, and a lack of it can be very upsetting. The appearance of peer pressure to try illicit drugs, drinking or other experimental behavior can also be traumatic for kids that aren’t eager to give in, but are afraid of damaging their reputation through refusal.

Romantic Problems – When kids become teenagers and enter adolescence, romantic entanglements become a much more prominent and influential part of their lives. From breakups to unrequited affection, there are a plethora of ways in which their budding love lives can cause teens to become depressed.

Traumatic Events – The death of a loved one, instances of abuse or other traumatic events can have a very real impact on kids, causing them to become depressed or overly anxious. In the aftermath of a trauma, it’s wise to keep an eye out for any changes in behavior or signs of depression in your teen.

Separating or Divorcing Parents – Divorced or separated parents might be more common for today’s teens than it was in generations past, but that doesn’t mean that the situation has no effect on their emotional well-being. The dissolution of the family unit or even the divorce of a parent and step-parent can be very upsetting for teens, often leading to depression.

Heredity – Some kids are genetically predisposed to suffer from depression. If a parent or close relative has issues with depression, your child may simply be suffering from a cruel trick of heredity that makes him more susceptible.

Family Financial Struggles – Your teenager may not be a breadwinner in your household or responsible for balancing the budget, but that doesn’t mean that she’s unaffected by a precarious financial situation within the family. Knowing that money is tight can be a very upsetting situation for teens, especially if they’re worried about the possibility of losing their home or the standard of living they’re accustomed to.

Physical or Emotional Neglect – Though they may seem like fiercely independent beings that want or need nothing from their parents, teenagers still have emotional and physical needs for attention. The lack of parental attention on either level can lead to feelings of depression.

Low Self-Esteem – Being a teenager isn’t easy on the self-esteem. From a changing body to the appearance of pimples, it can seem as if Mother Nature herself is conspiring against an adolescent to negatively affect her level of self-confidence. When the self-esteem level drops below a certain point, it’s not uncommon for teens to become depressed.

Feelings of Helplessness – Knowing that he’s going to be affected on a personal level by things he has no control over can easily throw your teen into the downward spiral of depression. Feelings of helplessness and powerlessness often go hand in hand with the struggle with depression, and can make the existing condition even more severe.

It’s important that you speak to a medical professional or your teen’s doctor about any concerns you have regarding his emotional wellbeing, especially if you suspect that he’s suffering from depression. Depression is a very real affliction that requires treatment, and is not something that should be addressed without the assistance of a doctor. Your general practitioner or pediatrician should be able to help you determine the best course of action if your child is suffering from depression, including referrals to a specialist or medication.

It’s never too soon to start thinking about back to school shopping. In fact, you can often save by shopping completely out of season. Oftentimes, shopping doesn’t even involve leaving your home, as online discounts are plentiful and recycling what you already have is an option, too. If you do plan to hit brick and mortar stores, there are coupons, sales and thrift stores to consider when making your back to school purchases. To help you get a head-start, here are 25 blogs for the frugal back to school shopper.

Budgeting for Back to School

Before you spend a dime, you need to know what you can afford to spend while remaining comfortably within your budget. Creating a back to school shopping budget is a great way to ensure you make the right purchases. Remember, too, that each child’s needs are different, depending on what stage of school they’ve reached. Start off by reading these five blogs, so that you don’t waste money on a spending frenzy.

It goes without saying that your child will need a whole new wardrobe for the coming school year – or so they would have you believe. However, new doesn’t always mean off the rack, sometimes new means never before worn. Then there’s the problem of wear and tear. School age children, as is their nature, go through clothes like they’re going out of fashion. To make sure you get the best savings on back to school clothes, check out these five blogs.

When it comes to saving on back to school clothes, supplies and books, recycling items and shopping at thrift stores offer excellent money saving options. For families who like to stay eco-friendly in everything that they do, there are plenty of back to school shopping options, too. There are treasure troves full of back to school bargains out there – you just need to take the time and effort to find them. In these five blogs you will find ideas for frugal shopping, as well as eco-friendly back to school products that won’t cost you a fortune.

While most schools will supply all the books that your child needs, there are some text books that support learning that you will have to buy yourself. However, when it comes to college age children who have to purchase all their own books, it’s time to really start hunting for those savings. The good news is, wherever there is a platform for students to sell their own text books, there’s a buyer’s market, too. Other alternatives include book-swaps, free online texts, yard sales and fairs. For both school age children and college students, there are some great resources for books available in these five blogs.

As your child gets older, each year they will need more and more school equipment and supplies. Unfortunately, the cost of those supplies also greatly increases as each year passes. If you have more than one child, each with their own extra-curricular interests, you could end up out of pocket very quickly. You will find that plenty of the major outlets stock everything you need for your child going back to school, however, you probably won’t find the bargains you are hoping for. This is, perhaps, the area of back to school shopping where it is most important to make frugal purchases, so tread carefully. The advice in these five blogs will help you decide what your child needs and where to get supplies at the lowest prices.

During your children’s teenage years you’ll likely encounter a period of time when it seems like you have nothing in common with each other and carrying on conversations is akin to climbing Mt. Everest. This is heavily influenced by the fact that teenagers and the adults who care for them are very different creatures and are at very different points in their lives. Understanding those differences will help open the lines of communication between you and the teen in your life.

Check out these ideas for ways to get teens talking:

Create a topic jar. A topic jar is a jar that you fill with different pieces of paper containing conversation topics. Each night at dinner a different person gets to choose a slip of paper from the jar and read it aloud. The reader gets to start the conversation. For example, the slip of paper could say, “Tell about something that surprised you today”.

Ask open-ended questions. By asking questions that cannot be answered with only a yes or no, you are opening the door for your teenager to say more than a couple of words in reply to you. Try to avoid grilling her and stay away from asking questions like, “How was your day?” Her answer will most likely be a one word answer to these type of questions. Instead, say something like, “Tell me about your day.”

Talk about topics she likes. Often teens feel like they are misunderstood by their parents. Instead of trying to get her involved in whatever you want to talk about, try talking about something that you know she likes. If she is an avid soccer player then ask her if she heard about the latest soccer match between Spain and Italy. She will probably be stunned that you even know that Spain and Italy recently had a soccer match and might actually want to talk about it. Once the door is open she may continue to talk about other things that are on her mind.

Schedule some one on one time with her. Take her out to her favorite restaurant with just the two of you. If that is too expensive, just go for dessert and linger over coffee. Do something that she enjoys, like going to a local soccer match. Sharing these moments with her will give her the opportunity to talk to you while you are both relaxed and alone.

Listen more than you speak. Every minute of your time together with her doesn’t have to be filled with idle chit chat. If you are trying to get someone to talk, leaving some silence will give them the opportunity to fill that silence with conversation.

Be patient with your teen. If she is going through a rough time with her boyfriend or her other friends at school it may be difficult for her to talk about. Give her opportunities to broach the subject with you, but don’t try to force her to talk to you. That will only result in her becoming more stubborn and closed off.

Put yourself in her shoes. Teenagers think that their parents and caregivers don’t understand them. Try to resist saying things like, “I understand what you are going through because I was a teenager once too you know”. Every generation has their own obstacles to overcome, and you can’t know what she is going through until she tells you. Really try to imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes going through what she is going through.

Don’t try to fix her. Parents and caregivers often try to fix a situation before they even understand it. Everyone is busy, but make time to hear her out. Don’t jump in and offer advice until it’s asked for. The only thing you should be doing while she is talking is nodding and saying the occasional, “hmm” or “I see” to indicate you are actively listening. This part is very difficult, but she needs to feel heard. Imagine how it would feel if you were sharing one of your problems and the person kept interrupting you to offer advice. Would you enjoy that?

Try to be her soft place to fall, not a road block. Teenagers are faced with a lot of peer pressure. Amazingly enough, teens will come to the right decision most of the time if given the chance. Comfort her if she’s had a fight with a friend or if she breaks up with her boyfriend, but don’t condemn the boyfriend or friend. Anything negative that you say now will come back to haunt you when she gets back together with her boyfriend or the next time that her friend comes over to spend the night.

Only offer your opinion when she asks for it. If you are lucky enough to get your teen talking, don’t interrupt with your opinions. Telling her what you would do isn’t going to help because she will remind you that you and she are nothing alike. Teens are trying to break away and prove their individuality. If she asks for your advice, start by asking her what she has considered so far. This will give you an idea of where her head is and you can act accordingly. Avoid lectures at all costs.

When you’re raising a teenager, your house can feel like a war-zone that’s scattered with potential land mines masquerading as casual questions. Every interaction can feel like it has the potential to blow up in your respective faces, leaving parents wondering what the safest course of action is in terms of avoiding an argument.

During the tumultuous teenage years, these are 10 of the most reliable ways to avoid fighting with your child.

Establish Rational Boundaries – During adolescence, your teen is revisiting the same mindset of early toddlerhood that leaves her looking for ways to test boundaries as a means of asserting her independence from you. Making sure that she knows some boundaries cannot be challenged lays a foundation for calm, rational interaction. Just be sure before you make those rules that you understand your teen’s need for a reasonable amount of independence, and avoid overly harsh authoritarian rules that leave no room for such expression.

Shift Your Perspective – As an adult parent of a teenager, it can be difficult to remember your own battles during the tender years leading up to adulthood. Before flying off of the proverbial handle, try to remember how you felt as a teen, so that you can see things from your own teenager’s perspective.

Refuse to Escalate the Situation – When you’re standing face to face with a raging, screaming teen that pays no heed to the feelings of anyone around her as she expresses her frustration, it’s easy to fall into the trap of shouting right back at her. By maintaining your composure and refusing to let the situation escalate into a full-on altercation, you’re effectively maintaining control of the confrontation without adding fuel to the fire.

Practice Good Listening Skills – Sometimes a teen feels as if he’s not being truly heard and in response will lash out with anger, when all he really wants is to know that his viewpoints and opinions are being listened to. Taking the time to ask your child how he feels and actually listening to the answer he gives can diffuse many arguments before they start.

Create a “No Judgment” Zone for Tricky Discussions – Teenagers face a variety of difficult choices and situations, and those who feel as if they have nowhere to turn for advice due to a fear of parental judgment or punishment can internalize that stress, leading to nasty arguments borne of frustration. Making sure that your child knows she can safely approach you with difficult questions can eliminate that frustration, making for a more peaceful environment within your home.

Know When to Compromise – As a parent, it’s often difficult to admit when you’re being unreasonable and concede an argument, or at least to make compromises when you’ve reached an impasse. Mastering the art of a sane compromise with your teen, however, is the key to keeping a tense discussion from escalating.

Understand When to Walk Away – When you can’t hold on to your temper, it’s okay to walk away. If you ascribe to a philosophy of walking away to let your temper cool, though, it’s essential that you afford your teenager the same respect. Resist the temptation to follow her in order to continue a diatribe; it’ll only lead to an even nastier confrontation.

Actively Avoid Triggers – There are some subjects that bring out a passionate reaction in everyone, and those triggers differ from one person to the next. Your teenager is no different, and you know the things that will upset her before you discuss them. Avoid the subjects you know will upset your child, especially if there’s no real reason for discussing them.

Refuse to Reward the Silent Treatment – The silent treatment is infuriating for anyone, but it’s important that you not reward that behavior from your teen. Attempting to draw him out with false cheerfulness or prodding him to talk will only blow up in your face, so let him stew without interference for a while.

Avoid Drawing Comparisons – Telling your teenager that you never acted the way he does, or illustrating just how much more tolerant of a parent you are because you don’t punish him the way you would have been punished for behaving in such a manner serves absolutely no productive purpose. Remember that your teen is trying to establish himself as a separate entity from you; drawing comparisons, even when you’re just looking for common ground, can ultimately be counterproductive.

Making a concerted effort to foster an open, honest relationship with your teen can make it easier to avoid the worst arguments, but the occasional disagreement is pretty much par for the course. Rather than dwelling on an argument after it happens, try to think about how you could have handled it differently so that you can apply that knowledge the next time negotiations become tense.

Teens are mysterious creatures. They seem to move from child to young adult almost overnight. Parents of teens frequently find themselves irritated by the things they say and the way they act. You may be trying to make sense of the chaos of adolescence, but it can be a mistake to judge them too quickly.

Here are a few myths about teenagers and how to be sure you dispel them.

My teen doesn’t care about my feelings. The words your teen uses might lead you to feel unloved by him, however, the truth is that he does care about you a great deal. Children from around age 11 and up are going through many changes. Some are physical in nature, but there are also many emotional shifts. Your child is growing up, learning a lot and realizing that at some point he is going to have to live a life apart from you. He is attempting to assert his independence from you and is at times unsure of how to do this appropriately. He will attempt many things, including talking back and disregarding your feelings. Your teen actually cares a great deal about your feelings and is looking for reassurance that it is ok for him to separate from you in some ways. While it may not be acceptable for him to talk to you in a disrespectful way, it’s important to talk to and treat your teen like an adult as much as you can. How do you respond to other adults when they say hurtful things to you?

My teenager is lazy. While some teens have better work ethic than others, the adjective “lazy” is not an accurate description of most teens. When motivated, a teen can do amazing things; even a teen who plays video games for too many hours a day can be inspired to do amazing things. The key term here is motivation. Finding what motivates your teen is important, and may be the only way to get him to get off the couch and help around the house. The best way to motivate a teen is to give him ownership of the project. If you expect him to help keep the house clean, then he needs to feel that he has a vested interest in the home. Letting him have input on where furniture goes, what carpet is picked out or what color the walls are can go further in investing your child in the home than you think. There is nothing wrong with offering incentives for your child to complete tasks, whether monetary or relationship based. However, nagging and hounding your teen will NOT create motivation.

My teen never listens to my advice. Teenagers are going though many changes and are trying to find their identity outside of their parents view. Your teen is most likely listening to you, but greatly wants to gain an independent life. He is afraid that following your advice will lead him to being dependent on you for a long time. Parents of teens have to walk a very thin line between giving advice and telling the child what to do. If your teen is still coming to you for advice, count yourself lucky, because that often stops at some point in the adolescent years too. When your child tells you a story or shares an issue he is facing, do not jump in and tell him how to fix the problem. Step back and just listen, ask questions to clarify and then validate the feelings he might be having about the situation. Once he has finished the story, you can ask him if he wants your advice. He may say no, in which case you thank him for telling you and let him know you are there if he wants to talk about it further. If he says he wants your advice, give it with caution, understanding the best way for him to learn is if he helps to come up with the solution. Because of this, aiding your child through questions can be the most helpful. Once the advice is given, it is his hands. He needs to be given the freedom to choose what he will do with your suggestions.

My teen does not want to spend time with me anymore. While it is very true that as your child gets older he will spend less and less time with you, it is far from the truth that your teen does not want to spend time with you. Most teens have more activities outside of the home as they get older and their interests change drastically, sometimes from one day to the next. The way they talk might even change. All these adjustments mean that you will understand him less and less each day. It is not that he wants to spend less time with you; it is that he perceives there are fewer things he has in common with you. Making an effort to understand the culture and how it changes from day to day can greatly improve the time you spend together because you will have more in common with him. The truth is that he still craves the time he gets to spend with his mom or dad, but realizes often unconsciously that he needs to pull away from you too.

It is too late to build good communication habits in my teen. It is never too late to teach and model healthy communication habits. You may feel that the habits both you and your child have are already ingrained in your mind and will never change, but that simply is not true. It takes small but measurable changes in your behavior to effectively help your teen communicate better. Your teen is likely looking for someone to work to understand him, even if that person never fully can.

Raising a teenager can be a maddening adventure, but it can also be touching. To see the child that was once so little and helpless becoming an adult can be overwhelming. Sometimes parents want to hold onto the little child they once knew. Unfortunately, attempting to hold on by treating the young adult like you did when he was little can cause a great deal of friction between you both. It is a difficult process to communicate with a teenager, but when done with respect and understanding it can be a less frustrating phase.

Spring break is around the corner and unfortunately many teens look forward to getting away and have a few drinks–maybe a few too many! Not to mention many are underage to be consuming alcohol.

You probably see and hear a lot about alcohol—from TV, movies, music, and your friends. But what are the real facts about underage alcohol use?

Myth Alcohol isn’t as harmful as other drugs.FACT Alcohol increases your risk for many deadly diseases, such as cancer. Drinking too much alcohol too quickly can lead to alcohol poisoning, which can kill you.

Myth Drinking is a good way to loosen up at parties.FACT Drinking is a dumb way to loosen up. It can make you act silly, say things you shouldn’t say, and do things you wouldn’t normally do (like get into fights).

Myth All of the other kids drink alcohol. I need to drink to fit in.FACT If you really want to fit in, stay sober. Most young people don’t drink alcohol. Research shows that more than 70 percent of youth age 12 to 20 haven’t had a drink in the past month.1Myth I can sober up quickly by taking a cold shower or drinking coffee.FACT On average, it takes 2 to 3 hours for a single drink to leave the body. Nothing can speed up the process, not even drinking coffee, taking a cold shower, or “walking it off.”

Myth Adults drink, so kids should be able to drink too.FACT A young person’s brain and body are still growing. Drinking alcohol can cause learning problems or lead to adult alcoholism. People who begin drinking by age 15 are five times more likely to abuse or become dependent on alcohol than those who begin drinking after age 20.2Myth Beer and wine are safer than liquor.FACT Alcohol is alcohol. It can cause you problems no matter how you consume it. One 12-ounce bottle of beer or a 5-ounce glass of wine (about a half cup) has as much alcohol as a 1.5-ounce shot of liquor. Alcopops—sweet drinks laced with malt liquor—often contain more alcohol than beer!

Myth I can drink alcohol and not have any problems.FACT If you’re under 21, drinking alcohol is a big problem: It’s illegal. If caught, you may have to pay a fine, perform community service, or take alcohol awareness classes. Kids who drink also are more likely to get poor grades in school and are at higher risk for being a crime victim.

Do you have a good teen making bad choices?Defiance?Disrespectful?Underachieving?Wrong peer group?Addicted to their devices?Sneaking out of the house?Experimenting with drugs or alcohol?Withdrawn, secretive - not participating in family functions?Have you exhausted your local resources? Therapy didn't work?Contact Parent Universal Resources for a free c […]

There's no app for parenting teens online today - yet according to a recent PEW Research survey 95 percent of teenagers have access to a smartphone while almost half, 45 percent claim they are online constantly. That's up significantly from the last survey in 2015 when it was 24 percent were on almost constantly.What else has changed?Where the kid […]

In 2017 we heard a lot about digital resilience, but do we understand what it is? Helping our teens be ready for online hate and digital discourse offline can better prepare them when they are faced with it. Reality is that incivility exists - sadly this is a human behavior that we don't have control over, but we can choose how we handle it. Today our k […]

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As a parent that was once in your shoes over a decade ago, I've seen a shift in the teen help industry. It's still a big business, however with the challenges of medical insurance limiting what they will cover, average parents are having to seek options that may not be exactly what they expected or in the best interest of their child.Marketing and […]

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There are many forms of online cruelty. The irony of it is I read so much about youth bullying, and I don't want to diminish that it is an important issue -- but the fact is adults are not only victims of harassment, they can be the perpetrators too. As I continue to write about bullying and cyberbullying, it never ceases to amaze me how many differen […]

Is your teen a victim of cyberbullying? Warning signs your teen might be struggling with online harassment: Appears to be sad, angry or even frustrated after texting or online.Avoids wanting to talk about their digital activity. (At which point you should encourage them to get online with you, have them teach you something about social media - a new app, any […]

It's no longer about a simple mean tweet or harsh comment, we are now dealing with verbal violence and cyber-harassment. Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate (Sourcebooks) is finally here, make no mistake about it, we're all a click away from digital disaster. With 92% of Americans armed with smartphones -- ready to record your most em […]

Parent’s Universal Resource Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.™) was founded in 2001 by author and parent advocate, Sue Scheff. Since that time, P.U.R.E.™ has provided over 100,000 families with valuable information and resources for their at risk children and teens. These are teens who are struggling with peer pressure, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and are si […]