The director talks about sex on screen, his star-studded festival and how Hollywood left him out in the cold

A conversation with Mike Figgis can lead you into unexpected places — such as
why a Gypsy once steered him to swim around the reeds, in what way he might
be a Geordie Buddhist and the impossibility of making porn sexy. For someone
who is associated with rather brooding, intense films, he has a lightness
about him that extends to his humour. His favourite joke, for instance, is
this (prompted by him extending bags of sugary offerings across his desk):
[An elderly lady’s voice, with an extreme Scottish accent] “Vicar, would you
like a cup of tea or a meringue?” “No,