I thought it would be fun to follow up on some old posts to let you know what decisions we have made, especially since so many of you are asking about them. Thanks to all of your comments, we have a lot of answers to our second trimester questions. Here are some updates:

Although I promised to stay away from Dr. Google, I’ve still been getting my fix. I just can’t stay away. I’ve been trying hard to keep it to topics that won’t scare me, but I won’t promise that I’ve been successful.

I learned that we should borrow and try out bouncy chairs and the like before buying them to figure out what our baby will like. We also learned that we should start out with as little as possible and buy what we need when we need it. So far we have selected or already purchased a crib, changing table, co-sleeper, car seat/stroller, one small bouncy chair that lays flat under the couch, and a couple of smaller items. What else do we need?

I’m pretty sure my husband now detests bedtime. I sleep with so many pillows he can barely lean over to kiss me goodnight. Many mornings I wake up before him and find him huddled in the corner of the bed with a leg hanging off. At least he gets me back by stealing all the covers and cocooning himself within them.

Our bambino will be less than a month old on the 10 year anniversary of my mom’s passing. As I get closer to meeting him I am more sad about not having my mom around. I know that she is still “with me” and yadda yadda yadda, but it isn’t the same. Not having her around and not being able to ask her about her experiences is proving to be a lot harder emotionally than I thought it would be. I am normally such a strong girl, but I fill up with heavy tears more often than I care to admit.

I have about 10 total outfits that fit me right now, but I love every one of them. All stars in this department for me include Target maternity, regular Target clothes, GAP Maternity, NOM Maternity, regular Old Navy (pjs and tanks) and my one BCBG dress I bought for weddings and formal events.

We asked to bring our newborn to one wedding in DC and the couple said no. We are still happy we asked. The plan is that my husband will go alone and drive back the same night. We did not ask the other couples since we haven’t gotten the formal invitations in the mail yet. I think we will ask while making it very clear that it is ok to say no.

If I’m being honest, some of the emails and comments I received on this post annoyed me. I clearly stated right at the beginning that I know I need to be flexible and that I can’t plan what delivery and labor will be like, but about 3,122 of you decided to let me know that anyway. I know!! I still don’t want one, and I’m still going to try hard not to have one unless it is necessary.

Cloth diapering is going to be awesome! I learned so much from all of you, and now I don’t think it will be as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Special thanks to those of you who emailed me long explanations of how it all works. I can’t wait.

My recent experience in the hospital makes me really want to hire one, but my hubby vetoed it. Since I am so on the fence about the topic, I tend to agree with him in that we should not hire one. I hope we don’t regret it (will we?).

It wasn’t and the Braxton Hicks contractions have slowed down a lot as I have slowed down. The lower back pain and menstrual-like cramps have completely disappeared, so I feel a lot better about the whole situation. I’m still having about 5 BH per hour, but since I am not having any pain or cramping with it I feel more relaxed. I notice they get a lot worse when I do too much. It’s still hard to slow down.

And just for fun… here is the post where we announced our pregnancy. We emailed a video to all of our friends and family, and watching it still makes me smile. I am so excited to meet our baby boy.

i think watching a video of circumcision (there are plenty on youtube) is enough to make ANYONE not want to do that to a child, much less a precious, innocent newborn. it really is equivalent to female circumcision, seen as barbaric in our culture. it’s one practice i don’t understand and could never do. i haven’t made many post-baby parenting decisions yet, but i am absolutely sure no child of mine will ever have a significant portion of his penis removed. the circumcision rate has dropped DRASTICALLY- from ~80% in the 80’s, to 56 percent in 2006, to 32.5 percent in 2009. your son will not have to worry about “fitting in”. i know you don’t need much convincing, it is just an issue i feel strongly about.

robinsays:

July 5, 2011 at 8:53 am

Sabrina, I came to the contraction post too late to bother commenting, but I’ll mention this now: I had a ton of BH contractions, beginning at about 20 weeks, with both my pregnancies, and slowing down always slowed them down, but didn’t eliminate them. I went into labor the night before my due date (delivered vaginally in the morning) with my first, then had an induction at 39 weeks for a completely unrelated issue with my second, so all those contractions were alarming but a sign of nothing. But maybe they gave my uterus some good practice for moving those babies down and out, because I had relatively little pushing for either delivery (30 minutes for my first, and about a minute or two–2 contractions’ worth–for my second). A midwife suggested a little Tylenol during my first pregnancy to help with any discomfort from the contractions, which did seem to help as well.

MomofTwoPreciousGirlssays:

July 5, 2011 at 9:03 am

MamaBear I am dying on your quote about opinions…I will probably have to use that some time!

I had a LOT more BH contractions with my second one (I was definately under more stress in life and adding a toddler into the mix did not help) starting at about 5 months. However, since it was my second I knew what those were like so it did not freak me out as much. I had them so regularly that the day I went into labor I was having contractions all day and just passed them off as BH!! I worked all day and was sitting on a conference call when I realized that they were getting more intense and closer together!! On my drive home I called my DH and said make sure the bag is all set and tell (my sister) not to leave the house because we were leaving any time! I went home and just laid down and spent some time with my DD (17 mos at the time). Then I called my ob and said they are like 10 minutes apart, but since I live far I want to come in…I do NOT want to do this without an epidural (not a comment on you, I just knew the natural route was not for me!! I am amazed at women that go that route!). I got to the hospital he checked me and asked if I wanted to walk. I was like “NO, give me my epidural and let me sleep! I worked all day and have a toddler that sleeps in my bed!! I do NOT want to walk!!” I got my way and slept almost the whole time. They had to check me a couple of times and then they had to break my water (WEIRD!). Baby came in about 4 pushes 10 minutes!

Jessicasays:

July 5, 2011 at 9:47 am

Sabrina if you want to do it naturally, you can do it girl! I got the same reaction from people as you did when I said that I wanted to do it naturally. And you know what I did it. It gets intense but if you set your mind to it you can do it! Just be sure you let them know that you don’t want to be offered any drugs, this helps. That and you just gotta keep telling yourself that it will all be over soon and you will have your perfect baby in your arms and it will all be a memory. That’s what kept me going when the going got tough. That and the thought that millions of other women before me did it and are doing it now all over the world. So don’t listen to the nay sayers and just keep in mind that you can do it!

Courtneysays:

July 5, 2011 at 9:53 am

Yeah! You are in the home stretch now. We have a 2 yo little boy and baby girl will hopefully be making her debut in about 6 weeks. Best of luck to you you! The whole birthing experience is wonderful no matter how it happens and holding your baby boy for the first time will be AMAZING!! My two cents on the doula… if you are really interested in going epidural free, hiring a doula is probably way worth it. Ultimately a decision that is up to you and the hubby though.

Lorisays:

July 5, 2011 at 12:03 pm

You must have a boppy. It is a must not only if you are nursing but even for those who bottle feed. It’s my all time favorite baby item.

Lorisays:

July 5, 2011 at 12:04 pm

BTW take the boppy to the hospital too. It makes feeding so much more comfortable.

Kristinasays:

July 6, 2011 at 6:01 am

I always wanted to do it naturally and the first time I ended up with an epidural – my choice. If you are flexible – you know when you need it. For me it was after 12 hours of labor, I was going to be given pitocin and I knew I couldn’t handle the pain getting more intense (especially since it would still be awhile).

The second time when I was going for a vaginal twin delivery I expected an epidural (every book i read pretty much said you should have one incase the birth turns into an emergency C-section) but I was too far along for one by the time I got to the hospital. So I did two out of three without – the two I did not intend to have naturally!

Bevsays:

July 6, 2011 at 8:39 am

@Ellen #5, being Jewish I have seen MANY circumcicions up close and presonal. It is nothing at all even near female circumcision (which is mutilation, male circumcision is a health beneift). Fer-mongering and misinformation is not helpful to any mother trying to decide on her child’s health care. During the circumcisions I’ve witnessed the baby typically doesn’t even cry when it’s done. I’ve seen it several times and had my sons circumcised and would chose to do so again and again.

So Sabrina, plese don’t let unneccessary fear and untruths freighten you away from circumcision. Do your research and do what you feel is most beneficial for your baby’s health.

nicolesays:

July 6, 2011 at 9:22 am

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Jennifersays:

July 7, 2011 at 9:20 am

Wanted to echo an earlier post. If you want to have a baby without an epidural . . . you go for it. It is an attainable goal for most people who want it and it sounds like you have a supportive doctor, which is very important. I had my first born without an epidural, even though it was an induction with pitocin and labor of 12 hours once things got started. Was is easy? No, but it wasn’t that bad as it is something our bodies are designed to do (minus the induction). I am pregnant again and planning another natural birth. Adequate preparation, by being informed, taking a good birthing class and practicing relaxation techniques, as well as being in good physical condition can help you reach your goal!!! Best of luck!

Carissasays:

July 7, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I hired a doula at my birth and my husband and I were so happy, we will be doing it again with my second (I’m 15 weeks). I was induced, had only 3 hours of labor, and only had my doula with me for 45 min since it was so fast (all naturally, other than the induction). But we don’t count that as a waste. The Doula did SO much for us to PREPARE for the birth. It is great that you are respecting your husbands wishes, he has a huge say in this part. But ask him if he will agree to meet with a few Doulas first. Doulas will always do an initial interview with you for free before you commit to them. This will give you both an opportunity to let them tell you how they would help. It also helps you decide if your personalities will mesh. We met with two before selecting ours. And we walked out of the meeting with her “knowing” she had to be by our side. Our Doula at our first meeting made a point to engage my husband. She asked him what HE expected from the birth, what HE wanted to get out of the birthing experience. She asked him questions NO BODY had ever bothered to. Because of this he was able to be a more confident support for me during the birthing. She gave him the confidence to communicate with the nurses and be my advocate when I was clearly to preoccupied.

During the 3 hours I was in labor, we saw the nurse for only 30 of those min tops (most was during the pushing stage, and the rest was for her to reset my monitors and check me). The doctor wasn’t even in there for most of the pushing. A Doula will be there the entire time to support you through all the labor. A GOOD doula will NEVER take the place of your husband, but find encouraging and supportive ways to help your husband stay involved. Most doulas have attended MANY (mine was over 100) births, so they can help reassure your hubby, that yes…you yelling out that way, or screaming don’t touch me, or moaning like you did when you got pregnant is all normal. But they also will NEVER get in the way of the medical side that the nurses and doctors take care of.

If after meeting with a few, your husband still has reservations then the two of you can make your decision from there! But at least he (and you) got to talk to a Doula.

Also, in the two weeks leading up to the birth, my Doula answered so many of my questions that I felt were too silly for the dr, I don’t know what I would have done without her…(like the moment I freaked out when I lost my plug).

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