Headache…

Generally, I don’t have anything like headache or anything like it. But like few days back, today it again started despite a good night’s sleep.

I did called my Ma, sister, close friends.Picking up phone, Ma guessed out and told to put some mustard-oil drops in the nostrils, that may help my seasonal sinus problem. I tried, it helped me. But still something was there inside to recreate the headache. I called up some of my friends – with whom I felt easy at some or the other point of time.

Some phones ended with busy tone, some friends could not talk as they were busy in sunday afternoon and a few phones switched off. I kept calling – I needed to talk with someone – anyone, otherwise 1200 watts of music system and ready to play hundreds of sound-tracks was also not helping me out at all. I switched the music system off. Staying alone can be sometimes really difficult. And the shape of difficulty is dimensionless. Men don’t cry,but when inner turbulance turns out nothing but just unbearble, sensitive men too do cry. May that help me out. But I tried to abstain – because I am a man !

I called my old buddy – my friend cum brother – Kartickda. About him, I will write in more – that how one last bencher turn out as NET qualified professor. We talked about nice times. A lot of things. Co-incidentally the time I called him, he was also alone at the house.

The old buddies were talked about. How the things moved in past 4 years, were talked about. As I asked about Sudip, one short-heighted friend of him, with whom I have a group snap too. Katickda could not answer promptly – though he is more sensibly stable than me. He told me – Sudip is no more. I could not believe, as I was expecting something like his marriage and kids. First thing came to my mind was the snap, where I was standing near to him. He further explained – how in front of his eyes, Sudip left forever.His pancreas had some problem and it got complicated and Sudip, the Station Master could never see the green flag.

Though he complained, what made me ask about him but he must be pleased to know, how do I still recall his friends so well. Actually asking about him, his pains of loosing a friend get refreshed. We talked for few minutes more – and talked on how other things moved in life.

I got entangled into the thoughts of those many places of staying, so many acquiantances and so many relations weak and strong. What good thing did we carry forward ? – The love, we did shared once upon a time – somehow or other.

I got the answer of the question that revolved around my head to create the headache. To many people it may become again a headache. But today it became my medicine. I do carry ‘something abstract’ – beyond myself being a selfish creature. My headache seems mitigating…