Monday, April 22, 2013

So month 4 has been challenging. I haven't worked out as hard as usual. I went on vacation to Seattle, which vacations tend to disrupt routines usually. Just didnt see it possible, nor was the motivation there. The great news is that I'm back on the horse quicker than usual. Even 6 months ago, if I fell off, it would take a great while before I got back on . But I spent my Saturday night at the gym instead of going out partying and it felt great. It also felt great to wake up the next day sore. Was supposed to go biking on the lake but that didnt happen. I will be going today since it is almost 70 degrees out today. Then I have my training with Fredo at 8pm. So today will be a great, active day. I still try and push myself and I'm not happy until I see sweat dripping. lol There are still many positives. Its crazy to see how much not working out effects my emotional state of well being. Its now critical to it. Its all connected. If I dont workout, its much harder to maintain a peaceful state of mind. So its nice to have a new tool to use when anxiety comes upon me. Shows me that I've been able to create this habit for myself. If I dont workout, my body tells me about it quickly..lol and I listen, which has been very helpful.
I dont have too much to share besides the fact that I'm still on my way. Still getting stronger and feeling better about myself, daily. Everyday is a new start though. I know I gain emotional and mental strength, but there is still so much to work on. Maybe there always will be. I just pray for the strength to continue acquiring these healthy habits and thoughts that keep me smiling. I am my biggest challenge to overcome. Years of negativity and false beliefs have made life difficult. So not only am I working on my physical body, but also working very hard on the soul aspect of my essence. Keeping it sharp, replacing false beliefs with new, positive ones. Believing to be good enough for this world, has taken years of work. and I still have my difficult moments. At least their no longer full days of difficulty, were down to just moments of them..Which is definitely progress :)
I'm grateful today for my family and for my friends...and for my level of awareness to truly work on creating an individual that reflects the person I want to be. I pray to continue to have this level of faith, especially when I'm down. and I pray that I'm reminded daily that I'm a great individual...I forget so easily....we all do. We dont really know the true value of our worth and of who we are. Well, maybe Juan knows, lol, but I'm sure he even has his moments.
I'm grateful for him giving me the opportunity to reunite with my family next month. A much needed, yearn, desired for moment. Cant wait!!!
Thank you for reading
-Iam