FEARS AND EXCITEMENTS OF HAVING TWO CHILDREN

2 July 2016

So in about 17 weeks we're going to be welcoming our baby girl into the world. This fills me with so much excitement I could burst, but realistically I do have a few fears surrounding the impending scenario. I feel if I write them all down in a blog post, that some of you mamas, and papas who have 2 or more children could inform me and bless me with your knowledge.

Pregnancy this time is so much different, I thought Lucas' pregnancy was hard, I took for granted SPD and exhaustion whilst you're still only watching out for yourself. First time pregnancy, now I look back on it, is a doddle... in a way, don't get me wrong, no pregnancy is a doddle, I suffered big time with Lucas' pregnancy, especially with my hips, but I could go to bed a 3am when suffering with insomnia towards the end, and sleep until 11am-3pm if I wanted. I could sit in bed and binge watch netflix and go shopping and drink coffee. This time round, I have found carrying a girl is taking a huge impact on my body, an impact I wouldn't change for anything but with Lucas, I stopped working and chilled out from 20-36 weeks when I had him. This time round, I suffered majorly with sickness, low blood pressure, anaemia, SPD, sciatica, contraction pain, ect... and I have to get up everyday, I have to get out of bed in the morning, I have to feed myself and Lucas, I have to eat better foods, I have to keep going, but my gosh, it really is a hell of a lot harder this time, especially as I have more symptoms too.

I also found that you don't get the same excitement as you did with your first. With your first everyone wanted to go baby shopping with you, wanted to know about your growing bump, wanted to touch your growing bump, were excited by the baby kicks, ect... but this time round, theres excitement but it's so different. Brad and I are just as excited this time round, especially with the gender difference but it is strange for me this time. I don't expect or mean I want everyone buying gifts and fussing over me, ect... but it is strange to see the difference in peoples behaviours towards firsts pregnancies, and second, thirds, ect...

I have so many excited feelings and thoughts when it comes to Iris' arrival but fears too, not bad fears but fears nonetheless.

EXCITEMENTS

The photo opportunities - This sounds strange, but I LOVE taking photos, can you guess? but I can just imagine the heart melting photos of my newborn daughter, like the ones we took of my newborn son and then even better, photos of the two together! Monthly Iris updates, and monthly sibling photos. Something we did the first year of Lucas' life, and the sibling photos monthly, will be so lovely to look back on. The monthly photos of Iris will stop after a year like Lucas' did, but the sibling ones i'd love to continue until they're old enough to tell me to go away.

Squishy newborn cuddles - I miss the days where Lucas would lay in my arms, breastfeeding or bottle feeding and we could sit and cuddle. I can't wait to have a toddler laying on one side and a newborn on the other.

Giving Lucas a friend for life - Siblings should be friends and I want them to be close and get on, so when they're teenagers they want to help each other out, with the little fights they're destined to have too. I just look forward to Lucas never feeling lonely.

Iris copying Lucas - I can't wait until she picks up his cheekiness and learns from her. Especially when he starts being the protective big brother, and she looks up to him.

FEARS

Lucas adjusting - It's inevitable in the first few weeks, even months, Lucas is going to have to get used to the change and the realisation he's not the only one in our lives.

The night times - Will Iris waking up wake Lucas up? How will he deal with her crying? How will he cope when she moves into his room and it becomes theirs? How will she cope? ect...

Looking after both on my own - I wonder how will I cope, i've worked in childcare before but it's so different on my own. I'm sure it will become second nature, I have had 9 children, with help but still, 9 to look after at one time, so hopefully.

I am sure there are more I am missing but my minds gone blank. It's a really frightening but the most exciting time of our life to date. Two children that we've made is amazing!