Not Quite As Fearless Anymore…

I feel like the older that I get, the more cautious I am. Which strikes me as a bit odd, actually.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Shouldn’t I be more of a daredevil? More worldly and confident?

I remember when I was in college in Towson, MD a gagillion years ago. I thought nothing of accepting an internship in downtown Baltimore with a special event company. You could find me zooming around the area in my beater car at all hours of the night for my job. (When I say “beater” I really, really mean it. Nothing worked on that thing.) Sometimes I was in costume. Sometimes I was in the background hauling props. But I wasn’t timid. I wasn’t afraid. I was a girl on a mission hell bent on making something happen.

Ah…youth. Some things change, I guess.

In talking with other ladies my age, we all seem to agree that while we might still have an adventurous spirit, having children in the house has definitely brought out the cautious side of us.

Make sense?

Still, I sometimes look back at those years in amazement. I swear that I. Had. No. Fear. That can be a good thing and, of course, a bad thing.

Oh well. C’est la vie. I’m just not quite as fearless anymore…

Anyone else finding themselves more cautious as they age? Or is it just moi?

I’m getting more cautious too, as I’m getting older. I guess it’s because I realize that I’m actually mortal and not invincible. When I was a kid I didn’t understand death and why people died. But now I’m older and wiser, I do all that I can to preserve this gift of life, so that I too can one day have children.