those that shape us

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The baby I blogged about last week? Taken from his momma again. Only this time they took his older brother as well. Sad as that is, and believe me, it's sad, it's also for the best. The very best part is that they were placed together and with a family that is willing to adopt both of them if parental rights are terminated. They all have a long emotional road ahead of them, momma, new foster family and children. Please pray for all of them. Our family has been on the foster to adopt side. It's can be ugly and painful and we spent two whole years handing a little boy our hearts on a platter and waiting for CYS to carve it into bits. Things worked out in the end. Now he's 8. And he's been ours for 6 years. I pray the same for this new family.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

This is what we started with. I searched Craig's list and antique stores in our area but couldn't find any. On a whim I asked my FB friends. Within 10 (!!) minutes I scored free ones. They were free but we had to work to get them out under a pile of stuff in an old shed. Husband took one look at them and then looked at me as if I was a crazy mama. I am...but I also have a keen eye for trash that can be make into treasure. We sanded off the rust and also added a board to the bottom that we put felt on so it wouldn't snag son's carpet or scratch daughter's wood floor.

The finished product in our daughters room. No, her ceiling is not curved or caving in. Weird camera angle. Sigh. They are painted in a nice, shiny white. We took the locks off but left on the outside part so it still looks like a lock. My favorite part is the number at the top of them. I don't know why. I just like the number.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

We had to opportunity to foster a 2 week old baby for a week. It took me about 20 minutes to fall head over in heals with him. Brand new babe, I worried about him leaving, I worried about him staying. At 45, I feel to old to start again. At 45, I feel to young to give up on adoption. Confusing..... He wasn't even up for adoption. He went back home to his momma. His momma who will, more than likely, lose him to foster care again and again. My heart hurts, and when he left, he left a hole. My arms ache and I am worried for him. Worried that he had to cry thru the night, that his diaper is wet, that she slapped him again, that he wonders where the people who chuckled at his middle of the night cries went. I am sad. I am looking for my boot straps. I will find them again. And I will keep praying for his momma and for him. It's hard to trust in my prayers but it's also the only hope I have for him. I need that mustard seed faith. So little, but so much. I also need to remember that the 4 other people in this home are enough. But it feels selfish to me. For them to be enough. I need to do more, we all need to do more. His momma needs more. More support from people, someone to reach out to when she feels like screaming at her newborn or feels like slapping him. Life.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Eight years ago on the Sunday after Thanksgiving I had just finished cleaning the house from top to bottom after a marathon week of Thanksgiving company that included overnight guests. We already had a houseful with our two daughters and two foster children. And, quite frankly, to say that I was exhausted would be an understatement.

But I felt him. Before I even knew him. I felt him finding his way to me. There is no way to explain it. I'm not a far out kind of girl. But we were finding our way to each other. Then the phone rang. And I said "yes" without any hesitiation.

Twenty minutes later he was in my arms. To say that the road to adoption was bumpy would be a colossal understatement. To say that he was meant to be ours, also a colossal understatement. He changed us. All of us. For the better.

Friday, October 21, 2011

So I'm not so good with keeping up a blog. Who knew? Well me for one. I am the one who gets the gear and declares herself a runner. Runs faithfully for a week. Takes a day or month off and never runs again. Maybe it's the same with me and blogging. I hope not.

Things get busy, kids need to be here of there. Kids get sick, kids need visited at college. You get the picture. Really I wouldn't have it any other way. Unless I'm tired then I would have it every other way.

It's stick season around here and I am determined to find the beauty in it. Just before stick season tho- I got to do this. O' happy day.

so busy, but so darn cute

This weekend promises to be a good one. Our local football team has "gone pink" to raise money for breast cancer awareness. I love that. The way a small, hometown wants to make a big difference. We could learn from them.