Blog

Ok, so today this sleep/dream thing happened to me again. Kinda. It was a little different than in the past since Yvonne Perry (We Are 1 In Spirit) cleared me. I'm not sure if it is happening as I wake up, or if it is causing me to wake up. After today's experience I'm inclined to think it's happening as I wake up as opposed to being woken up, because there was no element of danger this time.

What I remember is just simply becoming aware as I woke up, but someone was with me. It's like they were explaining things to me, maybe how to get back into my body. I wish I could remember more, but it's incredibly hard to remember what I do remember. The memories of the experience fade very quickly. I need to start keeping pen and paper by my bed, or have the iPad ready so I can verbally record what I experience.

This is quite interesting because it could explain the fatigue. Also, it might explain what was happening before Yvonne cleared me. I must have been traveling out of body during sleep, but when coming back into my body I was encountering these traumas from past lives. She cleared me and I have not had the traumas surface again as I come back into my body because...well hopefully they are resolved.

What an incredible past few months it has been. It all started in August. Since then I have been making progress that I really can't explain. I have been meeting people, as friends and as partners, who have facilitated my growth. I thank them for that. Also, I met Yvonne Perry, and had my first session with her on December 19th. I feel a connection to her, and hope that we can continue to remain in contact for mutual shared benefit. I have suggested to a friend that he see her as well to hopefully help him with a few issues he struggles with. We are seeing her again on January 17th and I look forward to that.

since I have met with Yvonne, some things have changed. I am no longer having the strange dreams where I wake up fearful. She cleared me of unwanted stragglers or soul fragments, and apparently that was what it was because it has not happened since. Thank The Lord! It was very disturbing.

Also, a strange rock has come into my life. Well, it's not strange, and it has been in my life since 2013, I just didn't appreciate it until recently. A friend of mine gave me a pendent in 2013 and explained that it was Moldavite. I didn't think much of it and stored it away, not sure of if and when I wanted to wear it. A couple weeks ago I was listening to a show about healing gemstones and they mentioned Moldavite. I said hey! I have one of those! Turns out that Moldaviite is a gemstone that was formed in conjunction to a meteorite millions of years ago. So it has extraterrestrial energy. A very high energy rock. It is known to accelerate spiritual growth. It helps you uncover your purpose. It also has protective power since it has such high energy.

I wore the pendent to work that night and my chest began to hurt. It was more of an ache than a sharp pain, but it was quite intense. I started to be concerned that maybe I was experiencing a medical event. But knowing what I found out about Moldavite, I decided to google it and what do you know...Moldavite is a potent heart chakra activator! It's not uncommon to feel a reaction in the heart chakra area. What a relief! Also, I have made some other important realizations since it came back into my awareness. What a great spiritual tool. I feel it has been sent to me as a guide, an aide along this, my spiritual journey of self recovery.

Recently I retook the Myers Briggs personality and was an INFJ. Every time I take it since walking in I have gotten the same result except once, I got INTJ. I retake it every couple of years or so, wondering if it/I will change.

I know it's a rare personality. The description seems to fit me to a tee, especially when I consider what I would be like if I didn't have my health issues.

Say the walk-out has dissociative identity disorder. When a walk-in occurs, will the previous soul's disorder affect the walk-in? I'm assuming not, but just wonder how it may affect. I suspect the previous soul of this body experienced trauma of some sort because I am having difficulty fully entering it and accessing full memory of childhood. This may not be the case, but I'm trying to figure out what is going on.

For the next couple weeks I am getting an unusual and exciting opportunity. Its a win win situation. Some friends of mine own a small farm, homestead, and environmental education center. They were going on vacation and needed someone to watch the place, water the gardens, and feed the animals while they are gone. I'm one of the people they asked, and as it turns out I was available and willing. So I have been there about 6 days. I am still having to work my regular job, 40 hrs, so I don't have as much time to really enjoy the eco farm experience as I'd like. But it definitely is a good experience. I feel a sense of spirituality there that I haven't found anywhere else in the region.

Interesting experience today. On my way to work I stopped by a house for sale just to check it out. It caught my eye because there's a barn on the property. So I got out and checked out the house. Very old, but cool. Has unique features. Then I proceeded to look at the barn. It was a small barn, most likely for parking a vehicle, storing equipment and other random things. I walked up to a window and peered in. I Immediately detected a negative entity! It flew up to the glass. I didn't see it with my eyes, but with my mind. I saw it in my mind. I immediately left the window and went on. It dawned on me that I do have abilities that in the past I have not accepted, so I disguise them with the thinking that it's just something negative coming up from my subconscious. But today it was crystal clear that that entity did not come from my imagination. I need to accept this gift and ask what the purpose is and what I can do with it.

I have been exploring what needs to happen in order to become more integrated into this body. What would that look like? What would that feel like? I suspect that there has been trauma to this body, this life, that happened during the previous occupant’s stay. During the exchange in 2002 when coming into the body I was not privy to any negative events like abuse or traumas that might have happened. Maybe I didn’t integrate deeply enough to access those memories. Maybe I wasn’t ready. I feel ready now, as I feel my body’s energy lessening, almost like I’m moving further away. Yet, as I move further away, it makes me WANT to address these issues and find the cause. I’m not giving up on this life.

Interestingly a few things have happened that have been supportive of me more fully integrating: a vacation where I could not entice anyone to come on with me (allowed for plenty of writing time), and now I have been invited to stay at a retreat to watch over it while the owners are on vacation. It’s a perfect opportunity for more solitude and reflection. I’m not even sure they have internet there, so it might offer a LOT of solitude! Much needed.

I have tried meditation before but the problem I have is that I always fall asleep!! It’s hard for me because of that reason. I even had this problem in a meditation class I took. I “meditated” today but instead of calming and emptying my mind, I allowed myself to explore some mantras, or repetitive thoughts. One was “What happened to this body did not happen to me,” and another was “What do I need to do to further integrate into this body.” Then I would try to be silent (*try* being the key word there ; ) and see what comes up. I feel it was a good start.

My fears about reintegration: (1) I fear that I won’t be able to take care of myself because I will feel so different that I won’t be able to keep my job. That actually happened the first time, at the exchange. (2) If this body was abused by someone I know, someone close to me, I fear how I will react and how my relationship with them will change. I will need support through that, but don’t know what that will look like.

Those are two things that are holding me back from reintegrating. I will explore these more and work on them.

This strange thing happens (is that how I open a lot of my posts?...seems like I say that a lot)

I have been dating since I walked in, and of the guys I date, most seems to marry the next person they are in a relationship with. Just noticed another one now. Strange phenomenon. It has been going on for years since I walked in.

Sometimes I get confused between whether my "memory" is from this body, or if it's a knowing from outside my body. It was my understanding that in order to have memories you need a place to store them, like a body. So you wouldn't remember things when out of body. At this point I have complete amnesia of my life before this body, yet I member in great detail the transfer. So how can other people remember where they are from and other details? This is being hidden from me? Why?

I have a weird phenomenon that has gone on for years that I'd like to figure out.

I have reoccurring dreams that are connected to where I live. For instance, at one apartment I had a dream that a tree was falling on me and I got trapped. In another place I lived I would dream that there were lasers that would turn on and I was unable to move or I would get hit. The next house I lived I would dream that the roommates above me were always talking about me (and that might have been true, but highly unlikely that they would talk about me every night). At the next place it had something to do with my being aware of an electrical box outside my window...can't remember the rest. At a farm I recently lived at it was that I couldn't breath the air sometimes due to a gas leak. Where I lived last it was something similar where i was supposed to do something and didn't so now were all going to die. And NOW, where I currently live, it's something about not being able to breath again due to some substance. It seems that I am half awake when these happen, or able to interact with the room.

Theses dreams wake me up ALL THE TIME. It's so frustrating. And when I wake up, I'm not thinking clearly and believe they could be but am not sure, it's disorienting. It is definitely associate with where I live, as they always change when I move.

They didn't start until after I had a spiritual experience and now I'm concerned that it's connected in some way. Maybe I am more intuitive and am feeling energy at the place i'm living of some sort that needs to be resolved? Am I traveling at night? How do I know? Are there any other signs? If I am, could this be causing my fatigue?

So this is it, my blog. I am on vacation at this time, which interestingly I found no one who wanted to come with me. But I didn't give enough notice so it's understandable that no one could come. So I find myself in a really cool town with a positive vibe, by myself, with time to journal and develop this website. it's actually just what the doctor ordered I now realize.

It was only days ago that I remembered I was a walk-in. I mean, I have known for years that I was, but it hadn't occured to me that by focusing on it and coming to terms with it I could possibly cure my chronic fatigue, which is getting worse. Doctors can't help. They try, but chronic fatigue is a phantom illness.

I don't think I was ready, until now. Now is the time to claim it. Something recently changed in me. Maybe it has to do with karma, completion, ready to move on.