The Mitt Romney–Jeff Foxworthy Ticket: It Begins

Well-heeled ex-consultant Mitt Romney continues to manufacture his everyman bona fides: not only does he now enjoy, appreciate, consume, watch, and/or respect “grits”—whatever it is one does with grits, that’s what he does—the former Massachusetts governor will campaign throughout the South today with the comic Jeff Foxworthy. The Hill reports: “Foxworthy, who is best known for his ‘you might be a redneck’ jokes, will appear with Romney in Mobile, Alabama. Later in the day, he will attend events in Biloxi and Richland, Mississippi.” We can’t wait to hear what jokes Foxworthy and Romney come up with!

You might be a redneck if … you’re wearing a red J.Press tie.

You might be a redneck if … you forgot to put on sunscreen in St. Barth’s.

You might be a redneck if … you have an allergic reaction to the lotion they used in that complimentary neck massage you received during your first-class flight from J.F.K. to Charles de Gaulle because the lotion isn’t as fine a product as you’re used to.

You might be a redneck if ... you were forced to use a disposable razor instead of the bespoke Schick Quattro that Tom Ford gave you, and you subsequently ran out of your Kiehl’s Ultimate Man Razor Bump Relief.