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Friday, March 02, 2007

Israel Sends Sderot Band to Eurovision to Stick it to the (Ha)Man

By Ezra

The people of Israel - and I'm talking the TV watching, Eurovision-caring majority everyone is always trying to pander to and mind-read - have sent the world a Purim message: We are fixing to hang Hamanadinejad from a pole and are sick of slicing up our tiny birthright.

Well, after having the Defense Minister as a resident and after the government enacted a one-sided treaty over the heads of their young, most had given up hope in the people of Sderot rising up and taking to the streets. It turns out, a few of them have: Tipex - the band (who insist on spelling their name Teapacks, which they explained in their famous interview with Jewish music radio guru Ben Bresky.)Teapacks, representing Israel in this years Eurovision (a competition usually consisting of annoyingly messageless songs that cross borders due to the common meaninglessness of pop music in most countries) submitted songs for the approval of their fellow countryman.

The song that won is called "Push the button" and ridicules Jihadists worldwide, starting with Hamanadinejad. The Scandinavian Nazi (the great thing about blogging is you can call whoever you want a Nazi!) organizers are already himming and hawing about the song - but the funny part is that should they disqualify it - an even better one is waiting in second place.

Salaam Salami is that song. It is a hilarious, yet dead focused indictment of the Oslo Accords and their Land-for-Peace successor the Road Map. It is also all in Hebrew, unlike Push the Button, which is in English and French as well.

In honor of Purim, a song representing Queen Esther has been chosen to enter Europe's pathetic kings' court. Instead of sending a Yemenite Jewish she-male to sing an ode to Cleopatra and Aphrodite (in 1998, when Israel had its third and last Eurovision victory) - Israel is sending a band of good-humored dudes from Sderot with a message to the world: The nation not only lives, but will no longer bow down.

Salaam Salami comes straight out and calls for en and to the policies of shaving off salami slices of the Jewish homeland, ending: לא כולם רוצים שלום - אז אולי מספיק