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Finger Burning Incident of 2014 (a blog revival)

Preface: Hello, again.

It is dumbfounding the dichotomy between an immense motivation to write and being completely devoid of inspiration or direction.

I have recently been motivated to write again by my beau. It was a simple “I would read your blog” that was both flattering and triggering. I quickly realized how much I missed expressing myself through the written word. In the past few months I have quieted my voice in my most prevalent semi-public forum: Facebook. My reasoning for doing so is irrelevant to this post, but in it’s place was a void that cannot be filled by work emails or text messages.

I internalize a lot of what I choose to share; my online presence is an extension of my physical presence. I put a lot of thought into my word-choice and I am just as bad at lying online as I am in person. But I find that I often write more about writing (or the lack of writing) than I do the topics I wish to share. Generally I think my opinions and my experiences are mundane but when I think about the things that I enjoy reading, they are the stories of everyday experience that resonate with me the most. So with that, I henceforth revive this blog with my first return post in almost a year. I hope you enjoy mundane because this is about to get real boring-like…

Chapter 1: Memorial Day Weekend 2014

Today, I returned home from a two-night camping trip with my beau & friends. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed a good shit in the woods. Among the highlights (of which there were many) was burning the shit out of my fingers on a shard of rock that had exploded from the heat of the fire pit. I should have known better. It was a case of consequences and circumstance that shall forever be known as the Finger Burning Incident of 2014:

Upon arrival to our chosen campsite, a circle of embedded rocks were identified about 25 feet from where we put up our tents. The fire circle was begging to be revived and we weren’t about to let it down. We were camping in the path of a forest fire that dated 20+ years ago so firewood was not difficult to come by. It didn’t take long for the former Eagle Scout in the group to start a fire (he used a lighter – fuckin’ cheater). It was greatly appreciated (although wouldn’t have won him any merit badges) seeing as how the sun was quickly dipping below the horizon. The night resulted in the sacrifice of many logs of wood.

Fast forward to the next day: ash. So much ash was in the pit by the following afternoon that little pieces were flying all over. Being geniuses (and a disgrace to our Scouting backgrounds), we had completely forgotten a shovel and bucket. Our solution? Spread the ash and coals to the outside of the fire ring and keep building a fire in the middle. IT WORKED (for now).

Fast forward a couple of hours: BANANA BOATS. If you don’t know what these beautiful camping treats are, scroll down to the bottom for a recipe. Delicious. Absolutely DELICIOUS. I was in the process of removing my beautiful concoction from the coals when BANG a gun went off… just kidding! But it sounded like a gun. One of the rocks from the fire ring had gotten so hot from the ring of coals that it exploded (whoops!). A piece of something (probably wood) hit my head and I scurried out of there. My head was fine but our egos were slightly bruised. We should have known that would happen.

Happy to be okay, I return to my banana and head on over to my chosen seat. As I’m about to sit down, I notice a small rock has fallen into the seat. Without thinking twice, I pick up the rock to inspect it. I quickly regret my decision. After a little bit of dancing, throwing my hand into the doggy’s water dish, and running to the car to grab some ice, I inspected my injuries to discover second-degree burns don’t take long to surface.

Moral of the story: Bring a shovel and a bucket when camping. Don’t push coals against the rocks in a fire pit. Don’t touch rocks after one explodes from excessive heat. Have ample amounts of alcohol at the ready to forget your stupidity and numb the pain (age restriction recommended).

Tricks learned: beer bottles, no matter how cold, help calm the post-burn burning sensation. Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for:

BANANA BOAT RECIPE

Ingredients:

Banana (in peel)

Marshmallows

Chocolate

Anything else (we added dried blueberries)

Tools:

Once you have a nice, steady fire (with embers), split open the inside curved part of the banana peel, but do not remove the peel. Cut into the banana or scoop out some of the banana (whichever is preferred) and insert your chosen ingredients. My regular ingredients are chocolate and marshmallows, I will then add whatever else I happen to have with me. Wrap the stuffed banana peel in aluminum foil. Place said stuffed banana peel onto some hot embers. Wait 10-15 minutes. Enjoy. (CAUTION: Contents HOT!).