Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I learned an important lesson today. (No, not that lesson. I already knew about the courtesy flush.) This lesson was about sarcasm. It is getting trickier and trickier to use these days. First you can't use it in email, then you can't use it in text messages, and now apparently it is verboten at drive-through windows as well.

While picking up Charlie's prescription for yet another ear infection, I asked the pharmacist if the antibiotic was flavored. He confirmed that it was, and then started looking up the exact flavor. Despite telling him several times that I didn't need to know what the flavor was, I just wanted to make sure there was a flavor, any flavor, the man was insistent. Perhaps he's dealt with one too many hippie south city moms who like tangerine, but not orange, or want to know if the flavoring is organic?

Anyway, wanting to prove that I'm so not one of those moms and hey, buddy, I feel your pain, I committed the egregious mistake of attempting drive-through sarcasm.

It went a little something like this:

Pharmacist: Okay, it looks like it's mixed berry.Me: Oh, mixed berry. Do you know which berries?

The pharmacist snapped his head up so fast, I didn't dare wait for him to see the charming smile on my face that said, "Just trying to brighten your day with my awesome sense of humor! Trust me, I'm hilarious! Ten blog readers can't be wrong!" So instead I delivered a hurried, "I'm just kidding. Sorry. Mixed berry is perfect. Really. Thanks for checking. Sorry. Thanks."

And then I grabbed my card and got the hell out of Dodge, thanking my lucky stars that one, Chip wasn't there to witness my bomb, and two, that Charlie is still too young to be embarrassed by this mom.

I've been through that routine with finding out the flavor, too. Every time the pharmacist insists on looking up the flavor. Dude. I have a kid in the backseat with a 103 temp. Don't care if it's bubble gum or grape or whatever.

HA! Excellent! The waitress that spilled beer on me a few weekends ago didn't get my sarcasm when I explained that it was my very best Forever 21 tank top. It just made her more apologetic. Still didn't get me a free beer though.

I think you are funny. Not sure why the pharmacists are so obsessed with the flavors. I don't care which of the 10 choices - just pick one that will make it taste less like crap. Obviously this is important to some people though or it wouldn't be such an ordeal every time...

Meet the Team

I'm Debbie. I like to talk. A lot. My parents say my sister started talking when I went to college. She was 17. Chip is my patient and funny husband. Together, we are responsible for the general upkeep and happinesss of Mary Clare (9), Charlie (7) and their big brother Buddy the Lab (13).

I have a blog because I like to write. And no one writes letters anymore. And dammit if I didn't like writing letters.