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Writers are flocking to town for Portland’s biggest book bash, Wordstock. To prepare, we grilled them on the stuff that really matters: writing, nightmares and kittens.

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Authors write the damndest things. In preparation for Portland’s fourth annual Wordstock Festival—this weekend’s multivenue celebration of books and the people who pen them—Willamette Week picked the fertile, fetid minds of a bunch of attending novelists, historians, sci-fi writers and critics living everywhere from Portland to New Zealand on everything from their creative process to which fellow wordsmiths they really, really want to beat up. The results of our questionnaire were as diverse and fascinating as Wordstock’s huge lineup itself, which meanders from Apple ad icon John Hodgman and travel legend William Least Heat-Moon to graphic-novel god Spain Rodriguez. Plus, we asked authors to include a snippet of a story or article they’re currently working on, or snap a shot of their home workspace—and some of them actually did it. Now, don’t say we didn’t ever give you a Wordstock conversation starter.