With the current focus on waistline management strategies, Ultimate Universal Technology Corporation (UUTC) has introduced a new line of low and no calorie foods called Minimal Natural™. Their first two products include a drink called Pura™, a ‘soda’ featuring only two ingredients, water and carbon dioxide, and a snack bar called Néant™, which has no ingredients at all.

UUTC kindly sent us a number of samples, so we had a tasting party at The Flying News. Here are our impressions:

Pura™: While UUTC calls this a “pure and natural soda,” it seemed more like water with a few bubbles. It tasted like water, looked like water, and smelled like water with carbon dioxide added. It also felt and sounded like water. We tried putting some of our pet fish into it. They looked interested for about .0035 second, and then they swam around quite peacefully, looking extremely bored. After drinking a few sips, we gave the rest to the fish, and filled our glasses with beer.

Néant™: UUTC calls Néant™ an “all-natural, calorie free, snack bar.” I suppose there’s no way to argue with the adjectives, but “snack bar” seemed a bit of a stretch. We were very impressed by Néant’s™ light weight. If you’re a minimalist backpacker or a cyclist interested in carrying as little weight as possible, this is a very attractive feature. On the other hand, if eating is your main interest, Néant™ has almost nothing for you. We tried chewing them, swallowing them, sticking them up our noses: none of it seemed to help. No texture, no taste. We tried feeding them to the fish, who assiduously avoided swimming anywhere near the small pieces we put into the water. All in all, we really can’t recommend Néant™.

Note: All products in the Minimal Natural™ line are certified gluten free.