Without You, I'm Lost

Chapter 3,

Chapter 3

The Date

Sunday night, as I’m doing my math homework, mom came in. For a woman of thirty-eight years old, she is gorgeous. She looks like she is still in her twenties and she is very trim and fit from dancing. Her green eyes shine every time she enters the room and she just makes everybody happy. I took out my headphones from my ears and turned off my iPod. “Hey mama, what’s up?” I said with a smile. She sat down on the bed and placed her hand on mine.

“Dylan just told me that you are going out to eat with that new teacher, Jacob. Honey, be careful cause I am very worried about you,” Mom said and I just stared at her. Worried about what? What is there to worry about?

“Why are you worried?” I asked her.

“Because I was seventeen when I met your father, my math teacher. Now, you are seventeen and getting friendly with your English teacher. I have no problems with you being with Jacob, just don’t really close with him. I didn’t have a mom to tell me this. I mean, if she was alive when I met Dylan, things might have changed. Jeremy was all open for our relationship because he was head over hills for my friend, your aunt.”

“Mama, I kind of have feelings for Jacob and I am scared. Every time I am around him, my heart goes to my throat and my mouth gets dry.” Mom smiled at me and squeezed my hand tight.

“I felt the same way when I first seen your dad. He smiled at me as he introduced himself and my throat felt constricted. Carmen, just promise me, be careful.” I reached over and hugged her. Kylie McKenna is the best mother out there and very caring. Tawny Reynolds is up there, she has to deal with Ellen and the douche bag of a son. “I will be careful, mama. I love you,” I said and she squeezed me tight.

“I love you too, sweetie. I wished I had more kids, but you are enough for me,” Mom said and she pulled away. Dad came in with two glasses of soda and smiled.

“There is my two favorite women!” He said and mom and I giggled. We sat in my room, talked and being merry. Our little family, life could not get any better.

Ellen met up with me in the school parking lot the next morning. She is on her cell phone, probably with Jason because she is arguing. “What the fuck is wrong with you…fuck no, get dad to…you got yourself in this mess and you getting yourself out of it!” She slammed her cell phone on her car and she sighed. What did Jason get himself into now?

“What did Jason do?” I asked and she began to laugh.

“The girl he was with last night tied him up in bed! I cannot believe this and he wants me to come home right now and let him go. I am not seeing him naked for one and he got himself in the mess, he can get himself out of it. He is going to call dad, he will be fucking pissed!” Ellen said and I shook my head. Jason Reynolds, you are such a character! When I walked into first period, Jacob is already in the classroom, putting up the posters he purchased Saturday. He is putting one up of William Faulkner with a serious expression. Faulkner is a very interesting author, one of my favorites. Jane Austen is beside him with her elegant face and she is in a chair, reading. “Nice picks, Mr. Lancaster,” I said and he smiled at me.

“Thanks, you inspired me to get the Austen one,” Jacob said and I looked back at Ellen and she is getting her stuff out for class.

“We will discuss our date after school when we grade papers,” Jacob whispered.

“Ellen knows about the date, she can keep a secret,” I whispered, motioning to Ellen with my chin. I remember telling her about it on the way back to my place after the mall trip. She was shocked at first, then she got excited. I still remember mom’s words, she is worried about me. She is worried that I am going to end up in the same situation as she was. Well, her situation was not that bad. Jeremy accepted her relationship, as long as he can date her best friend. The principal seen them on the beach, but they had a quiet talk with mom’s principal, which ended dad’s job at the time. They we’re so in love that his job didn’t matter. My mom should not have to worry about me, I will be fine. Jacob asked me to go to my desk because the class began to get filled and he went to his desk. The whole period consisted us choosing our research assignment, which I chose William Faulkner as my research topic. Ellen chose Sandra Brown, which is Ellen’s favorite author…her only favorite author. Jacob was skeptical, but he let her choose her. The class went so smoothly and when he began to read the book Fallen Angels, he played the parts. He is very entertaining, he played the main character, the ass hole soldier and the scared soldier that didn’t want to do anything. When the bell rang, everyone whined and he smiled at the class. “We will continue tomorrow, I will let some of you play the parts! Carmen, can you stay behind for a minute please?” Jacob asked and I nodded. The students that are leaving made the oooo sound and I rolled my eyes, childish. Ellen smiled at me and told me she will meet me in math. The door closed and I am standing in front of Jacob, waiting on him to say something. “What is it, Jacob?” I asked him and he ran his fingers through his hair and then he walked towards me. He pushed me against the corner of the room and placed his lips on mine. Oh shit, oh shit, I am kissing Jacob! He grabbed my hair and pulled me closer to him and I ran my fingers through his hair. I began to moan and his tongue slipped into my mouth and our tongues battled with each other. This is a very intimate kiss. He let go of me and I am out of breath. We are just staring at each other, breathing. “Carmen…” Jacob said and I swallowed.

“Jacob, I…really liked that kiss,” I said and he smiled.

“Me too, I will end our work session early so I have more time with you over dinner.” I smiled and I leaned to him and brushed my lips on his. When I let go, I bit my lip and smiled.

“I have to go to class now.” He wrote me a tardy slip, saying he was discussing my research project with me, and I am on my way.

The day went slow after that heated kiss. I didn’t tell Ellen because she will want every single detail of that kiss. All she knew is that I have acted very cheerful for the rest of the day. After school and after my goodbye with Ellen and dad, I went into Jacob’s classroom. When I opened the door, Jacob is in a regular tee shirt with the Led Zeppelin logo on it and black jeans. Led Zeppelin is playing through the speakers and he is already having a head start on the grading. We had a pop quiz today, which I know I passed, too easy. “Oh Carmen, come sit down beside me and get started,” Jacob said and I pulled a chair and he handed me a pile of papers and the copy of the answers. I must have graded over thirty papers by the time I finished and so is he. “Whew, a lot of people does not know about twentieth century literature!” Jacob said and I gave him the papers. “Well, are you hungry? I know a good Italian place around here.”

“I am famished!” I said and he smiled. I grabbed my things and we head out the door. Nobody even asked us where are we going together, seems like they don’t care. He took me to his motorcycle and gave me a helmet. “Come on, get on!” Jacob said and I put the helmet on and hopped on behind him. He started it and we let the high school. I held onto him tightly and I can feel the muscles in his body. He must work out a lot! When we finally made it to the restaurant “Mario’s” I smiled. My parents take me here all the time. This is where mom told my dad she is pregnant with me. She tells me the story all the time on my birthday, and she adds in the twenty-six hour labor she endured with me also. We walked inside and immediately got a table and ordered drinks. I looked at the menu and found my dish, Chicken Parmesan. “What you getting?” Jacob asked me.

“Chicken Parmesan, it’s good,” I said and he nodded. The waiter came back and we ordered our dishes, which he got the same thing as me. When the waiter left, we just stared at each other. I fiddled with the silverware because I am nervous. I thought we would have a nice conversation about life, not just stare at each other. There is one thing, I feel an electric charge between us. “So, how did your little friend react to us going on this date?” Jacob finally said.

“She was shocked at first, didn’t utter a single word to me. Then, she exploded with excitement. She told me I have to call her when I get home and give me every detail, even what I ate and what you ate. Ellen is a very outgoing person, her brother is a douche bag. He wants in my pants and I keep telling him no and he keeps trying!” My eyes grew big, I cannot believe I just said that to Jacob! “Oh shit, I am sorry…that is uncalled for,” I said and Jacob laughed.

“It’s fine, Carmen, I don’t blame the man, you are a very desirable woman,” Jacob said and I smiled. I love how he calls me a woman. It makes me feel so mature. Also, he said I am desirable, does that mean…oh my God! He wants to sleep with me! Our food came and I barely can eat, thinking about Jacob desiring me. I have to admit, I want him too. I cannot believe I want to lose my virginity to a twenty-eight year old man that so happens to be my teacher. My mother lost hers the same way, it’s like we are connected! I finally got where I wanted to eat and we ate together, in silence. After we ate and he paid for our food, he took me outside and the warm air hit my face. It feels so good! “I had a nice time with you, Carmen,” Jacob said and I smiled.

“Same here, Jacob,” I said and he pulled me into his arms and placed his mouth on mine. He cupped my face and his mouth began to move frantically. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and I wrapped my arms around him. Oh shit, he is such a good kisser. His hand went down over my back and he pushed me closer to his body. I felt his erection against my belly. I done that to him? I made him hard? Oh shit, this is awesome! “I desire you, Carmen. I want you so bad, since the first day I seen you. Please don’t think I just want some teenage pussy, I want you!” Jacob said and I swallowed then closed my eyes.

“This is so fast for me, Jacob, but I want you too,” I said and mom told me that she had sex with my dad a few days after they met. Well, what’s the harm with me having sex with Jacob early? NONE!

“Well, we can’t do anything tonight, how about this weekend? You go see your friend Ellen and then come over to my place. I can show you a good time, Carmen. I can tell you are a virgin, you jump at my touch.” He touched me lower on my back and I jumped a little. He is right, I do jump at his intense touch.

“Is that a problem?” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me once more. When he let go, he is smiling still.

“No, there is no problem in that. I actually feel honored. Well, I better get you on home or Dylan will get worried about you.” I got on his back and I wrapped my arms around his strong body. Dylan grabbed my hand and pushed it down and to his erection. He feels so big against my hand, I know it will hurt. Of course it will hurt, I never fucked before! I kept my hand there for the whole ride. Thoughts went though my mind, I am going to lose my virginity this weekend, to Jacob, my teacher and an older man!