January 10, 2014

I’ve never been so insulted in my life

To which the answer was always. “Really?..” in an incredibly sceptical tone, “…then in that case, you should travel more..”

Because being brutally honest, there is no way an asshole like you could avoid being deeply and regularly insulted, if you left your own insulated little world and started travelling in the wider real world.

Experience is a function of time, not merely the passage of time, and for whatever reasons, and I cannot claim to be the architect of them any more than I can claim to be responsible for the colour of my own eyes, I have one way or another managed to cram an awful lot of experience into my life to date.

Many of those experiences, either through social or political or economic changes, would be impossible to replicate today, for any sums of money.

Experiences are not like a university, you don’t go there and study and come away more knowledgeable and wiser, experiences are more like a virus or a phage, you live through them, or don’t, create antibodies, or don’t, make a full recovery, or don’t, but they *will* change you, the university bit comes afterwards, should you turn introspective and start analysing what you just experienced.

It would be tough to find someone with experiences closely matching mine, they are out there, but we are literally a dying breed, it is flatly impossible to find someone significantly younger, say, in their thirties, with similar levels of experience, function of time, they haven’t lived long enough, even if they cram, because we were cramming for longer than they have been alive, and yes, they have a greater life expectancy from this point onwards, so they may eventually attain similar levels of experience, but they won’t closely match mine, as many of the things that formed a part of mine are lost in the mists of time, never to come back.

“I’m not cynical mate, just experienced.”

That is a phrase that, should you remember it, you will find ever more profound and true, the older you get and the more experienced you get.

That is a prophecy that can only ever be proved in the positive in the distant future for each of you.

Men and Women are different, just as males and females of all species are different, to argue otherwise is as to arguing that the Earth was created in 7 days some 2,000 years ago, end everything else from fossils to physics to astronomy is no more than a deliberately emplaced test of faith.

I respect your right to hold such beliefs, but I will hold you to be of significantly less worth than a dumb cloven hoofed beast, who at least may provide me with milk or meat or hide, and should there ever come a time when I am called upon to make a decision, be it life or death or otherwise, regarding your fate, you’d better start praying to your creator, because if you are depending on me you will come at the very end of the queue, after those fish that swim up your cock and hook themselves in, unless, possibly, you have big tits and are as hot as fuck.

Experience, eventually, if you allow it to, will teach you this universal truth about males and females, they are not the same, nor are they but two sides of the same coin… sure, they are very similar, but so is chimp and human DNA, and therein lies the rub, it is these apparently insignificant discrepancies that are responsible for the majority of the differences, and they are not ever trivial or insignificant, but profound.

Experience, eventually, if you allow it to, will teach you that in any artificially levelled playing field, eg modern society, will reduce all interactions, without favour of exception, between male and female human beings to an exact analogy of the prisoner’s dilemma, with one sex representing Prisoner A, and the other sex representing Prisoner B.

Let’s say you choose females to be Prisoner A and males to be Prisoner B

Prisoner A will always seek the advantageous play, and choose to fuck over Prisoner B, just in case.

Prisoner B, in our terminology here, will only choose the advantageous play and fuck over Prisoner A, if Prisoner B has well and truly taken the red pill… if… however… Prisoner B is blue pill, he will take the co-operative approach, and get fucked over totally by Prisoner A

These are BIOLOGICAL imperatives. There are no value judgements of any kind applied here.

Intrinsic to the prisoner’s dilemma is that the two prisoners are held in isolation to each other, and can not or do not communicate honestly and openly between themselves.

Which is of course the exact state of play in modern society.

Prisoner A is always going to seek advantage and try to fuck over Prisoner B, it is s strategy that guarantees Prisoner A does not lose big, worst case scenario is Prisoner A does no better than Player B

If Prisoner B is red pill through and through, he will do the same as Prisoner A, and have the same outcome, it guarantees Prisoner B does not lose big time, worst case scenario is Prisoner B does no better than Prisoner A

if Prisoner B is blue pill, this is the only circumstance in which he is both liable to lose big time, but also guaranteed no chance of ever getting ahead of the game, if he has red pill tendencies, he may, at BEST, ensure that Prisoner A does no better than himself.

If you are male, less than say 50 years old, and / or have not managed to cram experience into every one of those years, those three paragraphs above require just as big an act of faith as the line about not being cynical, just experienced.

There is NO winning strategy against another player who will ALWAYS seek the advantage.

The ONLY POSSIBLE WAY to change this situation, is to change the rules of the game and move away from the artificially levelled playing field.

The only way to level the playing field is to treat Prisoner A as a recidivist, incapable of rehabilitation, and to offer Prisoner B the opportunity for rehabilitation, which is always tell Prisoner B what Prisoner A said, before asking Prisoner B for his answer, or in more extreme circumstances, only asking Prisoner B. But of course even this has major flaws.

The worst excesses of the most patriarchal and repressive (towards females) societies in history could be characterised as the more extreme circumstances above.

In fact, the only possible real solution to this issue is to eliminate the game altogether, do not ask either player, just obtain and analyse empirical evidence… or punish both equally, you were there at the scene of the crime, therefore you are guilty, anyone innocent would have left the area as soon as they saw what was going down, and refused any further association with those who did not.

In a sense, this is where I, and others, are…. the only way a wimminz can prove she is a woman, that she is a NAWALT, is by proving a negative, and yes it is totally unfair and impossible, but, welcome to my world…. and don’t ask for or expect any sympathy.

You may indeed successfully go through life and avoid gaining any experience, and avoid seeing and acknowledging reality, and believing the world was made in 7 days 2000 years ago, and that wimminz are not Prisoner A.

But, if you do not, then sooner or later you are going to gain enough experience to see the reality before you, all wimminz are always Prisoner A, no exceptions, ever.

By the very definition of the word, you are NOT going to gain that experience cheaply, or painlessly.

I have, and I speak from experience here, precisely 0.0000000000000000% faith that I will ever convince even one man to see the light, while detouring around that expensively and painfully gained experience.

I do however have hope and faith, that for those who have paid the price and endured, I can at least offer a plausible EXPLANATION, which can aid their understanding, this is the university bit where you look back and contemplate what just happened, should they wish to listen.

Many, possibly even the majority, are like blue pill Billy boy of the Spearhead.

These messages will always fall on the stony ground, and never flourish.

There ARE ways of engaging in intimate LTR’s with Prisoner A, with caveats, and the caveats are a bastard, because you first have to go through the fucking mill yourself, and you have to find a Prisoner A who went through the fucking mill, and got fucked over by the system, and lost big time, despite always making the correct play, and the problem with THAT, is that neither you, Prisoner B, nor Prisoner A, will be even remotely like the people you thought it took to form a semi stable LTR, back in the day.

And if my main message about Prisoners A & B is always doomed to fall on stony ground with the likes of Blue pill Billy boy, that final bit just above in red is something they would literally rather cut their own wrists, and yours, than face up to….

Of course, you are quite free to prefer the “advice” given out by the Blue Pill Billy’s of this world, it is after all your ass that is getting reamed, you just form a queue next to the creationists, way there at the back, behind the Candiru.

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2 Comments

“I have, and I speak from experience here, precisely 0.0000000000000000% faith that I will ever convince even one man to see the light, while detouring around that expensively and painfully gained experience.”

Speaking for myself only, I can confirm that you did not convince me of anything. But you showed me, and I just needed to take what you showed and run back to the back office in my head and compare my records to yours, and voila, a lot of the crap that I thought was just paradoxical and disturbing, made more sense now. I’m 32 now, so I haven’t got a shitload of experience yet, or maybe never will, but I have had two major crises in my life, which set me on a path to more understanding.

The first crisis was a slow-boiling affair, which is still kind of blubbering under the surface, but most of it I believe I have digested and dealt with. It was the slow realization that the liberal crap and feel-good history and ethics they instilled in me from Kindergarden through highschool messed up my sense of the real. Reading about stuff like what the Belgian merc witnessed kind of falls into that. For some time after highschool I thought, “Where the hell have those years gone, when everything was good and innocent, when I believed in a better world out there? Where is the freaking brotherhood of mankind that the adults promised?” Now I know that this was the blue pill world in which I lived and in which I experienced more and more glitches as they struggled to keep it all together. Now I know, that they can’t keep it together, because like in the machine-world of the Matrix, there are flaws built-in (talk about unlimited growth). I like the term “the desert of the real”.

The second crisis was my first ‘serious’ dealings with a wimminz. It didn’t last too long, just about 2 years or so, where I felt like absolute shit. Lol, the dealings only lasted a couple of weeks, but the emotional fall-out hovered over my head for quite a while (talk about genuine feelings and expecting them from a wimminz, although in retrospect I have to say I probably deluded myself about my own feelings as well, I just hadn’t realized that part about myself. All I felt afterwards was the bitterness of being let-down). After that, I never let any wimminz disturb my peace of mind anymore, but it took quite a while longer to actually process and understand what I experienced and eventually get rid of old illusions about relationships and human nature.

One of the consequences of the fact that it’s a slow process and you never reach a point where you know as much as you should is that I am now married with a kid. I have no idea where all of this is going in the future, but I know what can happen and I know a little bit about why it can happen. The most valuable opinion I read on your site was that I have to be able to walk a away without a second thought, if I notice, that I am being slowly sucked dry and destroyed. The fallacy of confusing sunk costs with investment is something that I have taken to heart. I have drawn lines in my mind. If these lines are crossed, I will incur a consequence to myself or to others I have relationships with, and I will not shy away from the seeming “losses” that I make. I guess they are personal standards, as you have described. Years earlier my efforts would aim at saving something, but now my efforts always aim first and foremost at saving my sanity and personal integrity. Everything else comes second.