Be discreet about burning workplace romance

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm deeply in love with the cutest man at my work. He and I have been looking at each other for more than two years and the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, I'm in upper management and he's a worker on the front lines. We are forced to be non-lovers by our work situation. (Or have things changed now that it's 2014?) We're both single and lonely.

We got inebriated together at an after-work party recently and had a drunken talk and a kiss that felt like a mutual attack it was so powerful. He says he would feel embarrassed dating the boss and I said it would be impossible to date someone not on my level, or it could be called harassment (by him) if things went bad. The most senior boss doesn't approve of office romances, and neither did I until now. What to do? -- Wildly Attracted, Industrial District

Dear Wildly: You two already lit the fire with the open talk and makeout scene. Don't tell me you stopped at one kiss, unless someone was coming along to catch you. Having given in once, you're really burning for each other now. You and I both know what is likely to happen this summer.

Whether it's a short romance or you end up getting married, you'd best learn the meaning of the word discreet. You should know other people can see sparks flying when you're in the same room, so at least stay away from each other in the workplace as much as possible. Don't go for lunches or noon trysts, and make a pact not to trade workplace secrets.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met another early bird wandering down the beach one morning and he asked me if I wanted to walk with him. I did. We had a wonderful time walking and talking and he asked me to meet him the next morning. I did. The second morning he confessed his wife was back at the cabin sleeping. I said, "No problem, my husband is doing the same thing." I went back the next day and he was gone. I haven't seen him for two weekends and I am hurting. If he wasn't going to come back, why didn't he say goodbye? -- So Disappointed, Grand Beach

Dear Disappointed: He probably didn't say goodbye because he knew he was also attracted and sliding into a dangerous situation. Think of those walks as stray "moments," not the buildup to an affair. Let this go. You also have a mate. Try walking the beach with your real love in the early evenings. Bring some wine and snacks in a backpack and watch the sunset. Lie down on a beach blanket in the sand dunes and watch the clouds. Roll over and kiss your husband! Make him your new affair.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is my response to Not Stepfather Material who admits he "hates" his girlfriend's children. This man isn't ready for his own kids, let alone someone else's. He sounds like a child himself, saying things like, "I hate that kid. He's stupid. His dad's stupid." Good heavens!

Of course he doesn't see himself leaving because, as he himself put it, she does everything. All I can say is I hope the mother realizes very quickly that she found a dud. Toss him back and find a real man, girl! They are out there. You just have to know who you are and who you're looking for. -- Mom to One, Stepmom to One and Slave to No One, Winnipeg

Dear Slave to No One: Kids quickly pick up on who doesn't want them around, and this live-in boyfriend wants them out of their home with mom as fast as he can push them. It's clear he wants to be the one and only big baby in the house. Now it's a tug-of-war for the mother and the kids are being hateful. No surprise there.

What's amazing is the strange role this mother plays. She doesn't protect her kids from this child-hating man, and it sounds like she runs around serving everyone in the house like a slave. She should kick the boyfriend out and get professional help for her and the kids. No doubt a lot of damage has already been done, and needs to be undone.

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