Hi, there! Have you heard that the Muppets may be in Broadway? Got mauled during Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark? Well, this is the play for you! Marvel wants to compete with the Muppets, and compete with the world’s best puppets! (Not you, Fraggle Rock!) They have created the play equivalent of the 616 universe! Here’s just one example of their musical!

“I’m Swinging In The Rain”, by Spider-Man

I’m swinging in the rain, just swinging in the rain! What a miserable feeling/Never be happy again! I’m missing my uncle, so sad right now, the bullet’s in his heart, and I miss Uncle Ben!

Wasn’t that great? Next up, here’s Wolverine and Deadpool, singing their heartwarming take on America’s darling, Annie.

Is he dead? WOO! Okay, listeners! This is a live commercial, and here’s what I have to say! Like Grease? I don’t care! I’m Deadpool, and this is MY song! CHIMICHANGAS!

“Gee, Kevin Feige”, by Deadpool

Dear awesome Kevin Feige, you gotta understand! My movie would be great! Don’t judge my violence! I was made in the nineties!

They had sweet guns, and random pouches! Over the top gore, and apocalyptic scenarios! I’m a victim of coicumstance! Come on, I got my own video game, and an appearance on Ultimate Spider-Man! Just give me a chance!

Gee, Fox Studios! I hate you, now! You made a mockery of me in Wolverine: Origins, just like Batman And Robin ruined everything! I’m moving to Marvel Studios! What do you say, Kevin Feige? Marvel Cinematic Universe- Deadpool? Thanos hates me, and I love Death! She’s a pretty lady, just like….Uh……………………………..Gwen Stacy! Please?