The time has come. Just as we get to the point where it seems hard to remember life before the 2010 Olympics, they come to a close. The time has come for us to stop acting like experts about sports that we’d never even heard about three weeks ago and it will be hard.

Even though I had never heard about Skeleton before, I’m not dissuaded to proclaim that a racer was not ‘tucking in his chin enough.’

I know nothing about figure skating, but if I’m watching the woman’s short program, for example, I won’t be shy about telling you a skater was “over-rotating.”

The only sport I really know well is ice hockey and this years tournament was sensational. It was so exciting that the Olympics programmed the slow motion ski sport of cross country to directly follow. An actual account when something like this, “Ok, we’re 90 minutes in and everyone is skiing very slowly. Wait, there’s a break in the action… I think someone might be coming in to change their skis. This is breathtaking…”

But that’s the thing about the Olympics. You take what you want and leave the rest. Other ramdom thoughts:

Please make Al Michaels go away. I realize he is an icon of broadcasting, but it’s hard to watch him fellate everything Olympics. I know he owes his career to one of the greatest moments in American sports history, but its’ time to hang up the knee pads Al. I mean afterall, Bob Costas has learned so much.

If you are Canadian and consider yourself a celebrity and you were not mentioned in any of the telecasts… Jump off the nearest glacier, because you are truly a nobody. Pam Anderson is a national celebrity, enough said.

I thought the USA had the worst team outfits ever, until I saw the reindeer sweaters the Canadians wore.

Canada used a mime as part of their closing ceremonies. Look Canada, if you want us all to leave just come ooot and say so.

The Canadian woman’s hockey team decided that it was OK to lay down on the ice, drink beer and smoke cigars after they won gold. As an American and long time fan and player of hockey let me issue the following response: “Fuck yeah, you did what everyone else wants to do but doesn’t have the balls to. Congrats ladies of Canadian hockey.”

Look Canada, nice job with hosting the games, the rubber moose ears were a real classy touch. Not sure when you’ll get the Olympic Games again, but rest assured you’ll always be welcome in your greatest role as America’s hat.