GINGER SPICE

Yeah yeah, go ahead, make fun. I’m not ashamed to display my Geri Halliwell doll on my toy shelf amongst my Jedis. I never much cared for the Spice girls musically. Catchy perhaps but just fluff. There was no escaping the girls though at the height of their popularity in the late 90s. I was working at Blockbuster Video in 1998 when we got bombarded with Spice Girls merchandise. We had Their CDs, lollipops, sticker books, wallets, purses and a dozen other odds and ends with their faces plastered all over them. I remember opening the box containing the dolls which contained 2 of each girl. My love for action figures and my love for Geri had joined together gloriously like peanut butter and chocolate to create a must-have collectable. I immediately snagged a Geri for myself and a Victoria for my little brother Brian. I wish I could tell you that it was my only spice girl purchase that day but I stocked up on the lollipops as well. The lollipops came with a random sticker of one of the girls packed inside and when I found myself a Geri sticker I discovered it was the perfect size to fit into this awkward mini picture frame I had acquired somewhere. That framed Geri picture is still on my desk to this day 14 years later and my Geri doll is still on my shelf. I know everyone had their own favorite spice girl but I couldn’t wrap my head around how anybody could choose another girl over this voluptuous redhead. She may have been dumb as a stump but good golly she was hot. I lost interest in Geri when she went solo and got all blonde and skinny but spice girls era Geri will forever have a small place in my heart.

The doll itself doesn’t do her justice. All the dolls used the same body mold so Geri’s curves have been replaced by a very generic small breasted skinny legged scrawny impostor bitch’s body. More effort was put into the faces but it still doesn’t really look like Geri. The hair is done well with Geri’s signature red locks with blonde highlights and it helps to sell this doll as being Geri Halliwell. What really seals the deal is Geri’s iconic Union Jack dress. I probably wouldn’t have bought this thing if it had been in any other outfit. I hope I’ve convinced you somewhat that owning a Spice girls doll doesn’t make you a flaming homo. Granted, my little brother’s Victoria doll might’ve been what sealed his fabulous fate but that can’t be proven. 5 out of 10.