Michael Jackson is now less Wacko Jacko as he is Wacked Off Jackson, the man who went about harvesting his friends’ sperm, singing to them to keep their produce tip-top quality and reminding them that more than two crotch grabs is a donation.

Mark Lester has already told us about his time on the Jacksons milking machine, and we have read of Jackson’s own desperming. Now we are invited to see Macaulay Culkin hooked up to the Jackson milk-o-matic.

Dr Steven Hoefflin, a friend of the singer, revealed the latest twist after speaking to medics involved in Jackson’s case. He confirmed: “They say he had lividity, which means his blood had already sunk to the back of his body.”

Which means Michael Jackson’s body was on was back to front?

“This indicates Michael’s heart had stopped hours earlier.”

What other facts?

Forensic pathologist Dr Cyril Wecht, not involved in the Jackson case, said: “If someone carried the body from one room to another, the livor would be ‘broken’ where contact with the body was made.”

If…

“If one person held his ankles and the other held him under his arms, there would be corresponding white interruptions of livor mortis in those spots.”

If…

Retired FBI special agent Ted Gunderson, who has independently monitored the case, said the new evidence pointed to a “massive cover-up” by Murray.

Independently monitored the case – as in, read the newspapers and watched telly…

He asked: “Did Murray try to fool people into thinking Jackson died on the way to hospital in the hope an autopsy could be avoided?”

Dunno. What say you, detective?

If so, it didn’t work, which is why he had to confess to administering Propofol.” Murray, 56, denies mistreating Jackson.