I’m pretty sure my mother has never uttered the word vagina. When I was growing up, she’d refer to any “down there” matters with a sweeping gesture that could have meant anything south of my belly button and north of Bali. I think she figured she’d leave it to a pro: my appointed health instructor, who was actually the gym teacher, and who began his lecture on female anatomy by writing brest up on the board. (I’m not joking.)

But surely, in today’s high-speed information age, women are better informed about their sexual health, right? Nope. “I’ve traveled the country talking to college-age women and am shocked at how uninformed they were,” says Lissa Rankin, M.D., an ob-gyn and author of What’s Up Down There? “There’d be 60 people in the room, and I’d get 300 cards with queries on them—and these were not advanced questions.” Orli Etingin, M.D., medical director of the Iris Cantor Women’s Health Center in New York City, agrees: “Young women don’t know as much as they used to about their sexual health. The problem is, women now believe that because they can go to the Web, it eliminates the need for them to have a base of knowledge about their body.”

So let’s fill in those blanks now. Glamour took your most-asked questions to some very candid experts. (We withheld your names—we’re not sadists.) Here we go, girls!

First things first: How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm?“Believe it or not, this is the number-one thing I get asked!” says Dr. Rankin. How can that be? “Orgasm is something young women rarely discuss, even with their friends, because they’re worried their questions will make them seem like they’re bad at sex,” explains Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., a sexual-health educator at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University in Bloomington and author of the upcoming Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva. “I counsel 23-year-olds who have never had one and who want to know what’s wrong with them because their girlfriends say they have orgasms all the time. But many times, they’re just lying to each other.” So here’s a big helping of truth: Orgasms take time and practice to figure out (hey, there’s worse homework to have). And no, you won’t necessarily be rocketed to another dimension of glitter and rainbows when you have one. “But there is a difference between just the pleasure of being intimate with someone and the pleasure and release of orgasm,” says Dr. Rankin. “When you have one, you’ll most likely know.”

Why can’t I have an orgasm from just intercourse? Is there something wrong with me?Not a thing, and we’re not just saying that to be nice. “Only about 30 percent of women can orgasm through intercourse alone—and most of those have learned how to position themselves so their clitoris is being stimulated by the penis,” says Dr. Rankin. Part of the reason, she adds, has to do with simple anatomy. The closer the clitoris is to the vagina (and each of us is different in this regard), the easier it may be to have an orgasm through plain old sex. So don’t feel like you’re somehow broken if you need extra assistance—toys, say, or touching—to get you there. Perfectly normal.

Is it better to sleep commando—you know, to let things air out down there?“It’s not a bad idea, especially if you’re prone to itching or irritation,” says Dr. Rankin. “Sleeping commando gets oxygen to the tissue and allows sweat and moisture to evaporate instead of sticking around and bugging your skin.” It’s also fine—advantageous, even—to go sans undies during the day. But in long skirts or pants only, please!

How big is the vagina, really? I’ve heard stories about women “losing” things in there.“Many women have the impression that the vagina goes endlessly into the body—like if you put a tampon in too deeply, it will end up poking your lung,” says Dr. Rankin. “I had a patient who was so sure hers had gone missing that she went after it with a pair of pliers. Pliers. I’ll spare you the emergency room details.” (Please don’t try that at home!) It’s true that the vagina has a pretty miraculous ability to expand—by as much as 200 percent in width alone—to -accommodate, say, an incoming penis or an outgoing baby. But in everyday life, the average vagina is only three to four inches long. “Really, nothing can get lost in there—at least nothing a clean finger won’t be able to go in and recover,” says Dr. Rankin.

Just how much discharge (and what color and consistency) is actually normal?“My patients are obsessed—obsessed, I tell you!—with their discharge,” says Katharine O’Connell White, M.D., M.P.H., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Tufts University School of Medicine and attending physician at Baystate Medical Center in Springfield, Massachusetts. “They think any amount is a sign of infection when, really, it shows that your vagina’s self-cleaning action is working the way it should.” Discharge should be clear or very light yellow and shouldn’t be sticky or have a bad odor to it, says Dr. Etingin. If it does, see your ob-gyn. And remember—whether your discharge is normal or not, you should never try to spare your panties by wearing a pad. “I probably give this speech 10 times a day!” says Dr. O’Connell White. “A woman comes in complaining she has so much discharge that she has to wear a pantyliner—but the pad is just trapping moisture down there. Then her body senses something’s not normal and sends more discharge to try to clear the problem out.” Wear breathable cotton underwear—change them if necessary—and let your body take care of business.

OK, one more discharge question. Sometimes I have a lot of it, and then it goes away completely. Normal?Yes, and the variety has to do with changes in your menstrual cycle. When you ovulate, it’s clear, slippery and more abundant. After you release an egg, discharge gets cloudier and thicker. “All the better for catching and trapping sperm, which your body naturally wants to do,” says Dr. O’Connell White.

What’s the best way to keep my lady parts clean?A lot of us were taught that it’s a dark and dirty place down there—like a deserted coal mine, perhaps, or the dark alley behind a dive bar. The reality is that not only is your business clean, but it also usually keeps itself that way without any special douche, soap, spray, deodorant, feminine wash or anything else, thankyouverymuch. “The best thing you can do is bathe with a washcloth and warm water. That’s it!” says Dr. Rankin. All that other stuff is potentially harmful and can kill off the “good” bacteria that fight infections. “I can’t tell you how many women have come to me with vaginal itching, bacterial vaginosis, a yeast infection or complaints of pain during sex because of these products,” she says. Unless you literally smell something fishy down there (again, see your gyno), you’re healthy.

Can masturbating help or hurt my sex life? What about using vibrators?For the most part, a little self-love is a good thing. “It teaches you what you like and how to get yourself to orgasm,” says Herbenick. A study she conducted linked masturbation—specifically, with a vibrator, which 53 percent of the women in the study reported using—to better sex. The women who used a vibe said they had greater desire, more intense arousal and higher ability to orgasm during sex with a partner. But there are downsides: “Using a vibrator a lot has the potential to raise your orgasmic threshold, making it hard for your partner to stimulate you in the same way it does,” says Dr. Rankin. If you experience that, take a several-day break from your little friend.

Do condoms protect you from all STDs? My friends all say different things.No. “Women—and men, for that matter—just can’t seem to lock this in to their memory bank,” says Herbenick. Condoms help protect you from contact with his penis (not fully, but mostly). However, plenty of other body parts down there touch during sex—and any kind of pubic contact can put you at risk for HPV, herpes and other STDs. “Condoms do greatly reduce your risk, but they don’t take it away,” says Dr. O’Connell White. “I ask my patients: ‘How bad would it be for you to get an STD?’ If it would make your whole world collapse, then you and your partner need to get tested, and be sure you’re clear, before you have sex. An STD can happen to anyone.”

My inner labia hang lower than my outer labia. Is that weird? Should they be the same?Nope and nope. They shouldn’t look any one way—labia come in all different lengths, sizes and colors, and all of them are normal. “This is a huge secret fear—and I point to porn for fueling it,” says Dr. Rankin. “Women see airbrushed, makeup-ed, even surgically altered lady parts on porn stars and wonder why theirs don’t look like that.” (And that’s one area you don’t want nipped and tucked!)

For the record: Way back in 1902, an inquisitive soul named Dr. Robert Dickinson actually collected data on inner-labia length. “He found that 88 percent of women’s measure three quarters of an inch or shorter, but some were up to 2 1/3 inches,” says Dr. Rankin. But don’t bother using a ruler on yourself—let’s leave the size anxiety to the guys!

I get ingrown hairs when I shave or wax my bikini line. What am I doing wrong?“I feel like I’ve earned a Ph.D. in how to prevent ingrown hairs, because I used to get them so badly!” says Cindy Barshop, owner of Completely Bare spas. To prevent and treat ingrown hairs, she recommends exfoliating—not demonically (overscrubbing can make them worse) but regularly. One way: Use a cleanser containing glycolic or salicylic acid on the area every day (rinse well). We like Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash. When you shave, use a fresh blade, and go in the direction opposite the way the hair is growing. Afterward, apply aloe vera gel to soothe the skin. “Waxing can be less bump-producing, but go to a pro!” Barshop says. “DIY waxing is often worse than shaving because strips that aren’t applied and pulled off in the right way are a surefire way to cause ingrown hairs.”

I found a bump down there. How do I know if it’s an STD or an ingrown hair?OK, first a disclaimer: Our docs insist that if you find anything down there that concerns you, don’t do the wait-and-see thing. Call your ob-gyn. (And no, she won’t be annoyed if it turns out to be the result of a speed-shaving debacle.) That said: “Bumps tend to be one of three things: warts, herpes or ingrown hairs, the first two of which you definitely need to see your doctor for,” says Dr. O’Connell White. “If it looks flesh-color and a little floppy, it’s probably a wart. If it looks like a blister with a clear top and a red base, it’s probably herpes. And if it’s raised and hard—either red or skin-color—odds are it’s an ingrown hair.” Its location gives clues, too. “A bump that’s not in a place where hair grows, like the inside of your labia, is likely an STD,” she adds. So call your M.D.—she can tell you for sure.