Staying emotionally involved with an ex holds you back and keeps you stuck.

Do you believe that staying friends for the kids’ sake is the ‘right’ thing to do?

In what ways is staying attached to him emotionally beneficial to you?

Regardless of why you’ve found yourself divorced and long after the court sends you a copy of your final divorce decree, you may still feel that intense, emotional longing to try to stay closely connected to your ex.

Unfortunately, this habitual and often subconscious longing to stay involved in your ex’s life can hold you back from taking the necessary steps forward to lead you toward a greater sense of autonomy and independence.

“Hoping for and seeking out a friendship with your former husband are risky situations. If you flirt with them, keep a wary eye on yourself or someday down the line you’ll be facing the hard work of disconnecting all over again,” advises Sandra Kahn, author of Leaving Him Behind.

Here are 4 warning signs that you are too emotionally involved with your ex:

1. Do you continue to confide in your ex-husband and does he continue to confide in you?

2. Are you ever hurt, angered or disappointed by information he shares with you about his life?

3. Is he judgmental or critical (in the name of caring) about your behavior?

4. Does your “friendship” with your ex-husband interfere with or irritate new men in your life?

Sometimes, despite our conscious awareness that we should step back from touching that hot stove again- we find ourselves reaching out and hoping it will hurt a little bit less this time.

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