‘Doctor Who’ Series 6 teaser text & video

So the missus gave me, among other awesome Christmas gifts, The Brilliant Book of Doctor Who 2011, a colorful compendium of the latest Doctor Who series with Matt Smith as the titular, bow-tie-loving Time Lord. This beaut of a book contains all sorts of episode recaps, interviews and behind-the-scenes extras like, what’s this? Clues to the upcoming Series 6 in 2011? Talk about a dream come true.

Well, yes and no. These teasers come from that sinister imp Dream Lord — the creepy, seemingly unreal evil twin of our good Doctor who made life a sleepy living hell in the episode “Amy’s Choice.”

The good news is some of the following blurbs are honest to goodness Series 6 teasers for the upcoming 2011 series. The bad news is a lot of them likely aren’t and we have no idea which is which.

Here’s how the Dream Lord explains them in the book:

Concealed within the following statements are a smattering of truths about what’s to come for our intrepid amigo on his Saturday night sorties on BBC One in 2011… Everything else is a load of codswallop – fabrication – farrago – dream, geddit?! Try to keep up. And don’t pretend you won’t be poring over this page for the next few months pondering my fiendish fibs.

Heh, “codswallop.” So what’s real and what’s not? We’ll find out soon enough, though I noticed a few confirmed from the latest Christmas special “A Christmas Carol,” which makes sense since this book came out in early November.

• The Doctor will be on trial – twice!
• Who controls the light sculptors?
• You won’t believe what’s buried under Wembley Stadium.
• Scared of the eye in space? You should be.
• Take up thy sins and walk – slowly.
• There won’t be a pub quiz on Tuesday because there won’t be a pub!
• Beau Geste is cool.
• Bow Street runners are cool.
• Bromley-by-bow is cool.
• 4 August 1982 – Happy Birthday, ma’am.
• Some lies are too much for the psychic paper. (Spoiler: The Doctor accidentally shorts out his psychic paper in “A Christmas Carol.”)
• “I won’t take calls from that Prime Minister.”
• “Marc, where are you?”
• The only water in the forest is the river.
• What awaits the TARDIS at the Zero Point?
• “12 years on and Rory’s still terrified of Granny Grainger.”
• “I was lost in France.”
• “How could a fellow Gallifreyan stoop so low?”
• Horror of Bangkok
• “Give it up, Sueet Korn!”
• Argonite? Here?
• An ordinary block of flats.
• “If I saw them walking down High Street what would I think?” “I don’t think you’d think anything at all, Amy.”
• Find the lady – before she finds you!
• “Margaret! Come back!”
• The Doctor defeats the Sahara Desert
• Susannah’s still alive.
• Mill Green on fire
• The Doctor will get married – twice! (Spoiler: He kind of sort of “married” Marilyn Monroe off-camera in the latest Christmas special. Could River Song nuptials be next?)
• What are the dangers of Port Olveron?
• 502, but never 503
• Beware of the kites
• “A pillar of salt, yes – but not because she looked back, looking back is good!”
• They’ll have to get a new name for Thanksgiving.
• Pay attention – it’s not really her.
• Treading through the sand – on the one night they come back.
• The shuddering brethren, they’ll stick in your mind.
• “I’m my own Doctor.”
• Octavian wasn’t lying.
• Mysterious semblance at the strand of nightmares.
• The bones of the TARDIS

Pretty heavy, heady stuff. Now here’s some exciting imagery to go along with?/verify?/contradict? all those weird words — behold, the teaser for the 2011 Doctor Who series. Watch it while you can.

Let the cheering and head-scratching begin.

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