For three endless, slogging rounds, Gonzaga and Erokhin circled, stared, circled, and stared at each other, seemingly too scared to engage while the 1,800 people in attendance showered (or perhaps sprinkled, considering how few of them there were) them with boos.

By the time the abysmal contest had wrapped up, the pair of heavyweights had combined for just 35 significant strikes in total, with Gonzaga’s 20 strikes (and 2 takedowns!) earning him the victory.

Truthfully, we cannot even begin to imagine how a fight could possibly be worse than the Gonzaga vs. Erokhin already was, but somehow, someway, recent developments have allowed us to downgrade it from “piss-poor” to “the absolute nadir of professional mixed martial arts.”

Before the main card action was underway this past Saturday night, we had a pretty eventful weekend already.

The Ultimate Fighter 20 Finale saw a new women’s strawweight champion crowned, as Carla Esparza submitted Rose Namajunas in the final, after a string of pretty decent fights.

Then came UFC on FOX 13, headlined by a heavyweight fight featuring Junior dos Santos against Stipe Miocic. The prelims were strange but sufficient, Henry Cejudo winning his debut, younger-than-he-looks Joe Riggs suffering an injury in his Bellator superfight against Ben Saunders, John Moraga being dropped by Willie Gates after complaining about a low blow to the official, last-minute food poisoning for Derek Brunson, Jamie Varner retiring after a loss with hopes of starting a fighter union, Ryan Jimmo’s terrible seats, Phil Baroni’s shlong, and Joanna Jedrzejczyk outpointing Claudia Gadelha (who pulled a Paul Daley in the heat of the moment, but apologized right away) to go on to face Esparza in the near future.

Our friend Alex Giardini will be furiously typing out round-by-round results from the “Dos Santos vs. Miocic” main card after the jump, beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and tell us how you’re feeling on twitter @cagepotatomma. Cheers!

Saunders was successful in his own UFC return in August, submitting Chris Heatherly with an omoplata — the first such finish in the promotion’s history — after a 7-3 run in Bellator. Riggs has yet to compete this year, but is riding a six-fight win streak. And in case you missed it, Joe Riggs says his recent near-death experience started when he brought a gun to his gym and his friend cocked it. To which we can only respond: Joe, that “friend” of yours is trying to kill you.

(To this day, we still cannot watch this knockout without mourning what could have been.)

Heading into his UFC debut against Eddie Sanchez at UFC 67, Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic was already considered by many to be the far and away best striker in the UFC’s heavyweight division, if not in all of MMA. His left high kick had become the thing of legend thanks to his devastating wins over Aleksander Emelianenko, Igor Vovchanchyn and Wanderlei Silva in PRIDE, to the point that it kinda-sorta became our slogan. And after he defeated Sanchez via a first round TKO set into motion by that very same kick, we figured it was only a matter of time before we saw “Mirko Cro Cop: UFC Heavyweight Champion” pasted on every UFC poster imaginable.

But as they so often do, the MMA Gods threw a wrench into our (and Mirko’s) plans at UFC 70: Nations Collide on April 21st, 2007 — seven years ago today. In a heavyweight title eliminator match that served as the evening’s main event, the Croatian special forces officer was paired against Gabriel Gonzaga, a Cro magnon-looking Brazilian who had scored three consecutive finishes (two TKO, one sub) in his first three UFC contests. Cro Cop was listed as over a 5-to-1 favorite across the board.

Any notion that the fight would be an easy win for Mirko was erased in the first round, however, as Gonzaga managed to take Filipovic down on multiple occasions and batter him with vicious elbows from on top for the majority of five minutes.

The hard-flung overhand rights that Gabriel Gonzaga launched at Stipe Miocic during Saturday’s UFC on FOX 10 co-main event may have hurt him worse than they hurt his opponent. Gonzaga came out strong in the first round of the heavyweight scrap, only to grow visibly fatigued and inactive as the fight wore on. Ultimately, “Napao” lost a unanimous decision.

Breaking his right hand early in the fight may or may not have had a lot to do with that, but what is for darn sure is that the Brazilian’s paw was straight jacked-up after the bout. MMA House has released a video of a hand they say is Gonzaga’s taken from what appears to be backstage in the United Center or a hospital room Saturday night.

Check it out above. If you’re a hearty soul, go ahead and try it while eating lunch.

The top of “Napao’s” hand is cartoonishly swollen and puffy, kind of like there’s a fat stack of oatmeal cookies underneath his skin. Why did my mind choose that as an analogy? Is it bad that now I want cookies?

Anyway, Gonzaga deserves a cookie after that disgusting injury, especially after losing. Go get yours, ‘Zaga.

Handling our liveblog of the UFC on FOX 10 main card broadcast is Aaron Mandel, who will be tossing round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest updates, and be sure to tell us how you feelin’ in the comments section. Thanks for coming.

Like many experts in our field do, we’re going to break down these UFC on FOX 10 main card fights in whichever way we damn please, spitting out our rapid-fire predictions by leaning heavily on pre-determined notions and gut feelings. Read on, and be sure to visit our “Henderson vs. Thomson” liveblog, which kicks off tonight at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT.

Benson Henderson vs. Josh Thomson

The biggest fight on this card could be the most entertaining as well — unless Benson Henderson decides to do the right thing and use his superior grappling skills to make this an ugly, dominant fight. But Thomson isn’t too shabby himself when it comes to laying and praying himself; his win over K.J. Noons before getting a title shot in Strikeforce was a prime example of what can happen when one partner is just not in the mood to cuddle.

So, maybe it’s going to come down to striking, and unless Thomson lands a game-changing head-kick like he did against Diaz, Bendo should prove to be the quicker striker who throws more when it comes to volume. Anthony Pettis will surely be watching with a close eye, because if Thomson outlasts Henderson, they have a date. And if Henderson wins and T.J. Grant is still concussed, he’s got his own third date against Pettis. And you know what they say about third dates…

All twenty-two fighters competing at tomorrow’s UFC on Fox 10: Here You Go, I Guess are set to hit the scales live from the Chicago Theater starting at 5 p.m. EST, so swing by CagePotato to check out the weigh-ins for a card that has been almost unanimously heralded by journalists like Chuck Mindenhall as “It is what it is.” Not since The Guilt Trip reviews have I seen such apathy, yet such disdain!

In the main event if the evening, Ben Henderson will fight for his right to party and not much else. Elsewhere, Gabriel Gonzaga will think he’s a better boxer than Stipe Miocic and break my heart again, not to mention my parlay, as a result. But it’s like my father said right before he was beaten to death by a bookie, “Go big or go-.” The bookie hit him with a crowbar before he could finish.

Live results for the UFC on FOX 10 weigh-ins are after the jump, and make sure to swing by CagePotato tomorrow starting at 8 p.m. to catch our liveblog of the event.