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If You Are Hosting A Bridal Shower, Read This

In charge of planning the shower? Here’s a handy guide to answer all your etiquette questions and planning concerns.Anyone tasked with hosting a shower for the bride (or couple) will naturally encounter a few etiquette and planning questions along the way, whether it’s their first or fifth time doing the honors. Here are the handiest tips and answers to common bridal shower etiquette questions that every good host should know.

Who’s actually supposed to host?

Traditionally, the maid of honor, entire wedding party, a family friend or the in-laws were expected to play host. It was originally thought to appear gift-grabby if members of the bride’s immediate family, like her mom, planned and hosted—but that’s not really a thing anymore. However, since the mother of the bride might be up to her ears in wedding details, she might prefer to take on a supporting role. Really, it comes down to who wants to throw the shower—the bride’s aunts, in-laws, family friends, college roommates or even coworkers—as well as who lives where.

Who gets an invitation?

As for the guest list, the only rule you need to adhere to is this: Anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding. After that, the bridal shower guest list can derive from the bride’s preferred vibe and the host’s budget. Small, intimate and ladies only? Invite her wedding party, closest friends and relatives, and her partner’s female relatives. For a couple’s or coed shower, this circle can obviously be widened to accommodate the couple’s ideal group. Also, it’s totally normal to have multiple bridal showers as well to include loved ones in different states or locations.

Who gets an invitation?

As for the guest list, the only rule you need to adhere to is this: Anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding. After that, the bridal shower guest list can derive from the bride’s preferred vibe and the host’s budget. Small, intimate and ladies only? Invite her wedding party, closest friends and relatives, and her partner’s female relatives. For a couple’s or coed shower, this circle can obviously be widened to accommodate the couple’s ideal group. Also, it’s totally normal to have multiple bridal showers as well to include loved ones in different states or locations.

Does the bride need to bring a thank-you gift for the host?

A nice, handwritten thank-you note would be perfectly acceptable, but many brides also choose to show their gratitude with a small gift, like a flower arrangement, box of treats, or lunch out on the town.

If dining out, who should pay?

Let’s say two friends of the bride are cohosting a bridal shower meal at a restaurant. Should the two of them foot the bill, or should the rest of the party (excluding the bride) cover their share as well? This isn’t quite like the bachelorette party where guests pay their own way and even chip in for the bride’s expenses too. The polite thing for the cohosts to do is pay for it. If an entire meal is biting off more than they can chew (which is totally understandable), consider a pared down event like a light tea, wine and apps, cake and prosecco or a self-catered event at someone’s home.

What happens if the bride doesn’t want a shower?

As the maid of honor (or other close loved one) it’s your job to be there for the bride, listen to her wishes and act accordingly. After making sure she’s really sure about nixing the shower thing, move on and consider it a blessing—one less thing on your to-do list! But, we get it, it’s completely natural to want to do something nice for her. Maybe suggest mani-pedis, dinner and drinks, or a fun brunch for two as a way to celebrate without all the pomp and circumstance.

When’s the best time to have it?

You should try to plan for the bridal shower to fall anywhere from five months to two weeks before the couple’s wedding date (that’s roughly based on a 12-month engagement timeline—but your couple’s schedule may differ). The shower is meant to get the bride and her entourage geared up for the main event with, well, a shower of love and gifts. Anything too close to the engagement could feel premature—the bride may not have asked her wedding party yet or fully processed her to-be-wed status. Logistically, whoever’s hosting needs enough time to budget, plan and curate the perfect guest list, while guests need time to RSVP, travel and find gifts. Anything too close to the wedding could add extra stress to an already hectic schedule, so it’s smart to allow breathing room between these events.

What Clients Say

Sperry Tents Seacoast provided the tents for my daughter' wedding. The tent was spectacular! Liz and the office crew walked me though the whole planning process. Ben and Jason did a great job installing the tent. What nice young gentlemen...... Kudos!

The tent was beautiful in the daylight...the Sperry provided uplighting only enhanced the appearance inside and out when darkness fell. Everything was perfect and executed seamlessly in coordination with the venue.

If you are using a tent for your wedding (or any other event) you have to go with Sperry, that's all there is to it! They did such an amazing job, we can't say enough about this company. The tents are gorgeous inside and out, the customer service is unparalleled and we were absolutely thrilled with everything they did for us. The only complaint we have is that they took the tent down and didn't leave it for us forever. We love Sperry and could go on and on. You will NOT be disappointed!

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After having a bad experience with another tent company, I was pleased that Sperry was able to step in and give me a beautiful tent that made my wedding day. This was by far the easiest part of my wedding to plan. The staff was a pleasure... professional, reasonable, quick and easy to work with. The tents are breathtaking; the sailcloth against the beautiful wood is a great background for pictures. I will definitely work with Sperry again!

Sperry Tents Seacoast is such a pleasure to work with- their team is super professional and knowledgeable! Quick, thoughtful, and genuine responses to every question asked. The tent was perfect in every aspect- I love hearing friends and family STILL comment on how beautiful it was!

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Please express out thanks to all the folks at Sperry Tent that helped plan and setup the tent for our daughter's wedding at the Nonantum Resort on Saturday, June 2, 2018. The weather which looked threatening earlier in the week turned out to be beautiful and the tented wedding reception was just outstanding thanks to the cobined efforst of Spery Tent and the Nonantum. Both were great people to schedule an event with. Everyone attending enjoed themselves and the spectacular river views at the outside tented venue.

Thank you again for making the wedding such a wonderful evening event.

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Thanks Sperry!

As a premier wedding venue, we look for the most exceptional quality and service out of the vendors that we use and recommend. Michael and his team deliver just that. Working with Michael is like being around family, he not only makes you feel important but he also delivers the most outstanding service I have ever seen. The team always deliver on time and provides the most seamless set-up and break-down, which is important for being an active hotel. Not only do they provide beautiful tents but everyone's professionalism and attention to detail makes working with Sperry Tents Seacoast a true pleasure.

Sperry is a wonderful company to work with. They are by far the best in the area in terms of professionalism and quality! Love the sailcloth and stained wood. Additionally, they worked directly with my other vendors saving me time and a headache!

Please express our thanks to all the folks at Sperry Tent that helped plan and set up the tent for our daughter's wedding at the Nonantum Resort on Saturday, June 2, 2018. The weather which looked threatening earlier in the week turn out to be beautiful and the tented wedding reception was just outstanding thanks to the combined efforts of Sperry Tent and the Nonantum. Both were great people to schedule an event with. Everyone attending enjoyed themselves and the spectacular river views at the outside tented venue.

Thank you again for making the wedding such a wonderful evening event.

Sperry Tents is amazing in every way. The tent was truly stunning and the crew could not have been nicer. And most incredibly - they brought the tent and crew all the way to Texas (from New Hampshire) for our wedding! It was awesome to watch them put the tent together, and what they built was unlike anything our guests had ever seen. It set the tone for the entire event - casual elegance. If you are having a tent at your wedding this is the ONLY one to have. No more plastic structures with drapery inside that looks like a gaudy coffin! This is simple, classic and gorgeous! Thank you Sperry :)