The light of Love has never shone forth so brightly from anyoneAs it has from you.Radiant, beautiful, pure - that lambent white lightAt the center of my universe, That brilliant painful lightAt the center of my heart.Ideal Love, elusive, a bird, a doveShining forth more strongly from youThan from anyone before.

I know that I ruined this - Descent into the real, the human - Tearing the Ideal you awayFrom the you in my ifeAll of those fights - they killed me too, you know.All of those little separations - tearing us apartKilling us.I know that what I did was wrongRegret and sorrow - I'm sorryI know that I was wrong.

The Universe has a way of evening things outKarma? Not exactly...But the will of the Gods - your GodA mystery, grasped by the soul, eluding the mind.A teaching of lessons, a journey through lifeThe completion of being, of human being.You - the will of the Gods - taught me a lessonYou - the vehicle of light and wonder and beauty.You made me more human.You - who I abused and took for grantedYou - the love of my life - But I knew I couldn't stay.You served some cosmic purpose in my life, but what?If not to be mine forever, my love (And I yours) , than what?To teach me this lesson, bring the Ideal to earth.You - this vehicle of heartache , betrayal, Of aching, stinging painYou - this vessel of the Gods.

The Universe has a way of evening out, Of making things right - of taking us where we need to go.Now that light of Love, elusive - a bird, a dove -Has flown to another, alights upon othersThough my heart still breaks for youWhose Love I threw away.Now that it is gone, everything stripped awayMutual recrimination - anger, lies, hatred, betrayal -I love you still, want you still, need you still.The Gods gave to me what I deserveI know Aphrodite is wicked, Eros bears a burning flame.Maybe it wasn't you who I ever loved at all, But the idea of you (is everything in the mind?) The Ideal, my own Ideal Love.Yet there's something about youCloser to that Ideal than anyone's ever been beforeDespite the things that I said, that I did.I hate myself for it, but I love you still.

I can only hope that the Universe adjusts itself againEvens outThrows you too into burning, aching pain;Shatters your foundations, destroys everything that you know.I can only hope that the Gods strike at you somedayAs they have at meThrough Love, through this - Lies and deceit, theft of memories, Crumbling of a world.And then may you think of me, through all the searing pain.And know, though I deserve it, what I feel right now.May you then feel for me, this gripping, rending painAnd feel for me, a spasm of Love once againIn place of this hate, this coldness, this desire for revenge.Love me, then, for a moment once more...In Memoriam.

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