Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Beginnings

Beginnings. I have been away for quite a while. I wrote a draft and well it was not time to post. In my absence I have been on many many adventures and I have come out of the cocoon that was prepared for me. We all have times in our lives when we need to nurture ourselves, it's being able to realize and listen and act on it. I really wanted to document every step of my journey but this was my own personal one. I see why the stars did not wish me to. Now I do have a lot more understanding.

We are in the new season of Spring, I have walked through a portal that allowed me to leave the old me behind. I am no longer the same being that was birthed on this world. I have transformed, we are all capable of this, but it cannot be forced. We don't know the "when" it is. I had many visions leading up to this but couldn't see beyond the other side. Now I am on the other side. I have experienced all that my body was created for. It is very beautiful.

As a woman in this form I had experienced many symptoms ... of course we go through the motions of cycles ... of moon cycles, of hormones, of emotions, of sensations ... all this is just a glimpse. Of course for some women this is all you are wishing or are gifted to experience. We all have our own journey. I feel more alive after having birthed and experienced the glorious strength and power of my own body. The experience itself is unbelievably beautiful, I went down the rabbit hole meeting many different character beings. Each with their own gift and their own contribution to my journey. I am truly grateful for each and everyone of them. So although I will not be speaking about the details of my birth experience.

Now I see all my gifts of intuition are just an expansion of this birth. It wasn't just and isn't just the birth of a new being it's also the birth of a new you. Who I was before is not who I am now, I am still learning who this new person (I now am) is. I have a brand new body, I have new emotions, new sensations and new gifts that I am just now starting to see surface. It is being so hyper aware to be able to walk freely into this, of course it's natural to have fear to be weighed down by this even with anxiety of the change ... the change has already happened. I of course got a cold because I was not able to cope with this drastic change that has already happened. I felt unappreciated and did not know how to communicate my new needs. We do have to listen to our body when there is lack of balance when you feel ungrounded even our body has a way of telling us this, first it's really subtle and then it blows up into a full blown injury of illness if we have not listened to the quiet subtle hints.

It is what I had been told all along that I needed to find my voice, I see how incredibly important and how this follows this new body and new journey I am on. It is the only way. We are all on an adventure. Women are so incredibly beautiful in what we are able to accomplish, even when we are on autopilot our body just intuitively knows what to do. We have to let it flow and then all enjoy and energy flows with this. Now I feel how the maternal role I am to have in this life. I am to nurture and teach and help those who need a place held for them. It's the nurturing and being able to care for another that you realize how precious your own life is.

I have a star dust old soul who has chosen to enter my life. The moment I saw this in a vision years ago I at first didn't believe it, but it's so much more than my vision even shared. I am enjoying this new journey of awareness. A star being who's wished to enter this earth at this time, and reshaped by body. I realize how this also transforms my life. We have much to teach each other. We come from the stars and moving through this new place I get to experience life all over again. I am more in love than I ever thought possible. Everything is so much more than myself.

This society puts too much pressure and importance on having the "perfect" body for women especially. There really is no perfect, just as every story is unique so is the body this vessel for us.

After experiencing childbirth I see how perfect my body is because it was able to do everything I wished of it. The perfect comes in the imperfect. When you realize that this form is not just about appearance it's about what it's capable of doing you can move past this. Even if you are not capable of doing everything with your body because of some physical limitation you were born with ... it is simply in this life you were meant to learn something or try to overcome the limitation and not let it hold you behind. We are all capable of new life of transforming and moving into new lights and new beginnings. It's just a matter of when we are opening the door for ourself. Others have been holding space for us, all the pushing through has to be done by ourselves. Of course just like natural birth we may have a person holding our hand, people cheering us on, people with knowledge to guide us but ultimately we are the only one who can push into the new chapter to make change in us happen. As every mother knows their body is never going back exactly the way it was before childbirth, if you've had a natural child birth especially because you've pushed a being through. All the flowery literature that is written, is a coping means for when you are pregnant the only thing I clung to when I was pregnant was that my body would be how it was before. This was out of fear, but letting go all the pushing and expansion in physical form leads to spiritual expansion. All mothers realize your body is the vessel ... it is the passing through portal for a being to be created and nurtured and in this comes the perfection.

I remember a night of meteor showers ... a driving adventure to find a mountain top to see above the clouds to the sky to watch the shooting stars. This adventure was late at night, many miles were driven ... uncertainty if it would happen. Different stops along the mountain were had but the journey kept going higher up to reach a better view. Finally coming back down the mountain a wrong turn led to a clearing where it became a different world, a blanket of clouds covering the city below, and the stars above moved.

All the best things come when we let go of expectations and just allow the universe to unfold the events for us. When we let go, all things we've wished and dreamed of ... come to be.