Tuesday, November 5, 2013

The Relativity of Happiness

So many people wonder how an
inmate can experience happiness and joy and excitiment in a place like prison.
It's all a matter of relativity. If you lock yourself in your closet for long
enough, the mere thought of shadows rather than absolute darkness becomes
something to look forward to, right?

After so many years in prison and
experiencing the ups and downs resulting from my own behavior and the different
characters sentenced or working in here, I have had varied opinions on why I was
happy when I was- or why I could be so miserable. But the truth has little to do
with prison or place. We're just adaptable, you know? All of us- you included. I
have seen some real pieces of shit, tortured souls that committed fucked up
crimes, put on a genuine smile and experience their personal moment of freedom
through happiness- even though they were in the most heinous and threatening
atmosphere available to them. I've seen angry, mean, hard-ass dudes with
multiple murders and gigantic chips on their shoulders burst out in heartfelt
laughter at something that I couldn't quite connect with- and they seemed to me
almost lovable creatures in that moment. And I've also seen (and been) that guy
who smiles and laughs at everything- regardless how deeply it affected us. Who's
sincere? Is that happiness enough to make this time bearable??

I think
it eventually comes down to the chance or process that creates within us an
understanding that we really are the captain of our own souls; that we do make
for ourselves the limitless well of happiness or the superficial sheen of
satisfication. And even in here we can feel a deep happiness and contentment
that promises we are not what we once were- we are not necessarily condemned to
always carry the stigma of pain and confusion and addiction and
self-centeredness. That it's all a matter of doing the right thing- even when no
one is looking....

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About Me

I am a prisoner of the United States government in the state of Colorado, These are my articles, views, stories and thoughts that I have written throughout my incarceration, I am trying to get people out there aware of the changes that are needed to be seen and made to America's Prison System, for prison reform and prisoner rehabilitation. Please leave comments, advice or suggestions, I appreciate all feedback.

The American Prisoner

This is meant to inform the public not only of the condition of American prisons but moreso the mindset and values of their occupants. Those behind bars are as vastly different from one another as those on a college campus-many are whizbang hardcore convicts; others fail in this arena, overcome by fear and sadness; most are in an average, merely awaiting release, maintaining a status quo where the uncomfortable state of change is not required. This is not a cry for immediate sentence restructure of legal amendments for early release. This is not a cry for prison reform as much as it is an assertion-based on years of painful experience-that recidivism can only be apprehended by the reformation of the criminal mindset. This is as severe a call for change as impetus and response could require the public to consider. Crime is an ill to be fought at its breeding ground-prison.