NED:
Hey, Jim, look who I found out back. And I also found this Red Hood buried not too far away.

RED:
You can’t prove that’s mine.

JIM:
Oh, I think we can. A DNA test on some hair fibers here in this hood will come out positive with a match to yours. Frank, check out what she’s got on her sleeve there.

FRANK:
Goodies, Jim.

JIM:
And that puts you at the scene, here, young lady. So you better start talking.

RED:
So, here I am, on my way to Grandma’s house, and this Wolf starts harassing me, you know. Checking out my Goodies, asking where I’m going. So I finally lose the creep and head to Grannies when I find the monster had eaten Granny and was going to make me his dessert. So I hollered and screamed and this woodsman comes in and whacks the Wolf.

JIM:
That’s a very nice story, but the evidence suggests a better one. You’re on the road and you see this wolf, minding his own business. You get him hooked on Goodies until you get him to do whatever you tell him to do. So you come over to Grannies here and you start threatening her to sign over her inheritance to you, or you’ll let the Wolf loose on her. You scare her with the Pig’s Triplet story and whole houses destroyed. But things go wrong, because you didn’t know that the wolf had an unhealthy fascination for grannie clothes. So he ate her and kept you here against your will. That’s when you got the bright idea to scream at a passing woodsman so he’d kill the wolf for you, then you paid him off with a kilo of Goodies. You were just going to skip off when we arrived.

RED:
You can’t prove a thing!

JIM:
We just did. Take her downtown.

MUSIC: Theme music up and under)

ANNOUNCER:
Join us next time when a giant’s DNA, the blood of an Englishman, a magic bean pusher, a cow swapping ring, and a golden-goose smuggling operation leads to a horrific death-plunge from the clouds on “CSI: Fairy Tales”.

I LOVED this, David...only one quick lil thing in this paragraph:
That’s a very nice story, but the evidence <> a better one. You’re on the road and you see this wolf, minding his own business. You get him hooked on Goodies until you get him to do whatever you tell him to do. So you come over to Grannies here and you start threatening her to sign over her inheritance to you, or you’ll let the Wolf loose on her. You scare her with the Pig’s Triplet story and whole houses destroyed. But things go wrong, because you didn’t know that the wolf had an unhealthy fascination for grannie clothes. So he ate her and kept you here against your will. That’s when you got the bright idea to scream at a passing woodsman so he’d kill the wolf for you, then you paid him off with a kilo of Goodies. You were just going to skip off when we arrived.