You'd think it's just about knitting and travel, but it's really about life, love, faith...and food

Monday, August 24, 2009

Knit-Along: Elemental Changes Scarf from Aylin’s Woolgatherer - Day 1

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

You don’t spit into the wind.

You don’t pull the hat off the ol’ Long Ranger...

If you’re old enough to recognize these lyrics, you’ll know I’m about to discuss a mistake. Or, more precisely, a poor choice of actions. One of those things that should have a disclaimer running on the bottom of the screen. Like the Jeep ad that had the famously rugged car running vertically up the side of a house. As if a Jeep could actually do that. But just in case you entertain the notion, the bottom of the screen read those now famous cautionary words: “Do not attempt.”

I’d like to think that the human race has evolved far enough not to have to be told that driving a car up the side of a house wouldn’t meet with success. I guess I’d be wrong.

But then again, I can’t really call the kettle black on this one.

Don’t worry, I’m getting to my point.

My very favorite caution of late comes from the world of personal electronics. I have a Blackberry Storm. I love my Blackberry Storm. It’s the fourth Blackberry I’ve owned and I’ve loved every single one of the priceless pricey gadgets. I go into cardiac arrest if I can’t find it. My son calls it “Mom’s little black brain.”

But even I don’t have to be told....

wait for it....

“Do not lick your Blackberry to clean it.”

Exactly how has someone earned enough money to purchase a Blackberry if they don’t know enough NOT to lick it? Ever? Even in the name of cleaning it? C’mon people, why don’t you just lick the hotel television remote (reportedly a germ fest) or the handle of a public telephone? Driving a BMW up your new vinyl siding makes more sense!

Nice rant, Allie, but what’s this got to do with yarn?

I, at my advanced knitting years, should not have to be told...

“Do not start a lacework project at 9:30pm.”

Enough said. We’ll never speak of this again.

Until next installment, when I tell you how nicely the first section of my Elemental Changes scarf worked out.