Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Little Miss Safe and global catastrophe

The recent freezing weather has brought us a seasonal Darwin Award hopeful in the shape of Capital FM newsreader Laura Safe (no, really!), who this week provides a fitting metaphor for the state of our society.

Engrossed in sending a text to her boyfriend, Miss Safe walked down the steps out of Birmingham's Mailbox shopping centre and straight into a canal.

Fortunately, according to news reports, a gallant passer-by was on hand to fish her out of the icy water and she is none the worse for her ordeal - though I suspect her colleagues will be indulging in a certain amount of amusement at her expense.

Little has changed, then, since we reported the fate of the young man who ran into a tree while informing the world via twitter that he was 'running to work; very late'. It really makes you wonder whether Leg-Iron was right back in April and evolution is now operating in reverse.

In fact, given the way the young are now using their mobile devices as external hard drives for their brains and the Nanny State is doing its best to render obsolete any remaining survival instincts, we seem to be rushing headlong into Decline and Fall.

The popularity of texting means we'll probably hang on to our opposable thumbs, but thinking is rapidly being outsourced to the extent that we'll soon be needing constant electronic reminders to eat, sleep and go to work and an ever-watchful Nanny State to keep us safe.

Those of us who presume to take command of our own behaviour - 'I am the master of my fate' - will doubtless come to be seen as dangerous subversives and watched with suspicion, lest we contaminate the herd. All in all, if this is the future, then humanity is rapidly approaching its sell-by date.

That being so, one might argue that there is some modicum of comfort in big-budget disaster movies - at least for the apocalyptically inclined.

Conveniently, while researching a previous post, I stumbled across a video clip which enables the viewer to enjoy a generous helping of cinematic mega-disaster without having to sit through all the tedious human-interest stuff (though I do like the plucky Brits in 'The Day After Tomorrow', stuck in their bleak, woollen-clad, sepia-tinted time-warp).

Anyway, for those who wonder if our time is up and enjoy the odd CGI global conflagration, supervolcano or bolt from the heavens, here's a little mid-week treat (essentially 'Name That Tune' for apocaholics):

AKH; you may have blue sky; I'm looking through a literal (and metaphorical) fog.

Julia: every spell of harsh weather seems to being at least one such case; it's almost as if they don't think the laws of physics apply to them.

Bucko; I agree, though I can't help feeling that it's just the tiniest bit sad that I immediately managed to identify the source of all but one of those scenes* - and that one clicked when I watched the film on Saturday night.

*For some bizarre reason, E4 broadcasts 'The Day After Tomorrow' every few weeks; either they have a contract that obliges them to do so or they must think that fans of the genre have less working memory than goldfish.

Newgate News

Macheath, the notorious highwayman, welcomes visitors to Peachum's Tavern, haunt of the rakes, rogues and vagabonds of 18th century Newgate and setting of 'The Beggars' Opera'. All is not as it seems, however; in the best operatic tradition, the highwayman's mask actually conceals the features of the innkeeper's daughter, Polly.