When it boils down to it, minimalism (in my experience) comes down to two things:

1. Removing what isn’t adding to your life and replacing and/or leaving space for what matters.

2. It’s about choosing to be purposeful with decisions, words, actions and relationships.

In terms of fashion, this could mean decluttering your wardrobe and reassessing what needs to be added or left out. It could also mean looking at your shopping habits, why and how you buy clothes.

In terms of relationships it could mean spending more time with a friend who always looks to encourage you with her words.

In terms of planning a gathering or wedding it could mean spending a day assessing how you want your wedding design process to go and how you want to feel at the end of it.

So how do I achieve these values?

I believe it is important to realise this way of living is a journey of finding balance between less and more. It’s an on going process and I’ve become comfortable with the idea of having to always seek such a lifestyle. Day to day I ask myself questions like, does this really matter? Why am I making this decision? Are these words adding to my life? I’m by no means perfect and there are days when I really would rather watch Netflix into the wee hours of the morning, but I always attempt to consciously be aware of not only myself and my thoughts but how my actions and decisions affect others. I’ve found that when I choose to evaluate my minimalistic lifestyle in terms of the impact I’m having on others, I find true joy.

I never thought I’d be using that word to describe myself, let alone my brand but that once foreign word ‘minimalist’ has very much become a part of my life (you can read about that journey here). So what is a minimalist wedding or occasion? You have probably described it before without knowing it and chances are, if you’re in the middle of wedding planning you’re probably craving it.

Essentially, planning a minimalistic wedding is about my two favourite words, less and simple, less clutter, a simple decision making process, less stress and negativity and more space, time and energy for enjoying the process and the end result. It’s a way of making intentional choices without additional stress and the influence of external factors.

So it’s all about space and being ‘clean’?….

Well no, minimalism isn’t specifically design focused. This is often a surprise to many when I say I specialise in minimalistic occasions. I often get “oh so you design stuff in only black and white?” I understand where the confusion comes in; minimalism especially in the interiors world has very specific aesthetic values- rooms of black and white with a focus on space, that kind of thing. When it comes to minimalistic occasions, design plays a part but the thought process and values behind the design is what drives the design decisions. You can read the values of minimalistic occasion design here.

Oh that’s trendy I love minimalistic, scandi stuff….

It isn’t about being trendy. I know a minimalistic style is on trend at the moment and I’m the first to put my hand up to say I have made some terrible trend based decisions in the past. I’m sure I’ll do a post about that in the future. We’ve all fallen victim to purchasing something based on images our brain has been saturated with. I’m already regretting my copper bedside lamp. But minimalism in essence is about being purposeful and considered, it’s about making decision irrespective of the noise of trends. The idea is, you’ll be able to look back at your wedding in 25 years time and still love it.

So I can’t have stuff?…

Well yes and no, in essence it’s not about stuff or how much stuff. As I mentioned above having a minimalist wedding or event is about being purposeful and considered in your decision making. So there is “stuff” involved but that “stuff” isn’t chosen because someone else convinced you to or because you found it on Pinterest. How much ‘stuff’ is used, and how it is used is different to different people, one person’s take on planning a minimalistic wedding might look stressful and “stuff” filled to another but be exactly right for that bride’s needs.

I don’t get it…..

It’s a thought process. Weddings and occasions can be stressful, choosing the minimalistic approach aims to stop that. Big call I know! Come back later to find out about that process. A minimalistic thought process aims to put aside the daily grind that is involved in planning and styling a wedding to bring us back to the reasons and values behind the event that we might have lost touch with.

It’s a value system. Minimalism (from my experience) is about purpose, it’s choosing what is of value and making a conscious effort to bring that into your everyday decisions during your event planning. It does mean saying no to the things you aren’t 100% on. The other reason why I believe it is a values system is because it differs from person to person just as our beliefs do.

Can you tell? I could talk for hours on this. I’m just so passionate about people finding their purpose, especially when they are planning a gathering. Want to know more specifics on how to plan a minimalistic wedding? Check out my ten step guide to minimalism in my blog post tab.

My love of social gatherings comes from my father’s side and his Maori heritage. My Kui (grandmother) catered for her local golf club for over twenty five years and when we get together for kai (food) you always bring a plate. So in a sense hosting is ingrained in me. While my mum couldn’t think of anything worse than throwing a dinner party, I lavish the idea of serving up my attempt on the latest seasonal dish and dressing the table.

Hosting a minimalistic gathering to me means spending time being purposeful about your decisions. These decisions could look different for everyone, for me it’s a love of cooking with the seasons and embracing some alternative flour or vegetables. In the winter it’s finding homely scented candles to welcome guests, in the summer it’s finding a shady spot outside to enjoy a family BBQ. Defining these personal preferences has made having people over less about trying to impress and more about allowing others to relax in and share what we authentically love.

At its very core, hosting is about making others feel welcome, if you feel comfortable your guests will too. Falling back on some of your favourite practical decisions is a wonderful way to ensure you feel at ease.

The above title is perhaps a little misleading, it gives the idea that I’ve completed the journey to minimalism and that would be incorrect, the reality is I’m still walking this journey.

I planned my wedding in February 2015, after a whirlwind engagement in the South of France, I returned home to NZ to undertake a process I had been dreaming of for a long time. Although my fiancé was still in the UK I began tackling wedding styling and planning full force. Naively I considered myself an expert. I’d worked in the industry as a wedding stylist, I’d spent time on photoshoots I knew about stress, time constraints and how to design stuff. Boy was I wrong.

I quickly learnt that you can know all the tricks of the trade but if your head’s not in the right space no set of tricks will change your thoughts and feelings. Now don’t worry I wasn’t bridezilla and I didn’t have a complete melt down, and I did come out of the experience still steadfast in my dreams of being a stylist but I did come to look forward to what was beyond my wedding day, rather than look forward to the day itself.

In retrospect this experience like every stressful one taught me numerous lessons.

It taught me the value of process

A friend once describe to me a house she walked past every day as a girl, the house was derelict, isolated and ugly. She hated walking past it, the house was a symbol of mistreatment and abandoment butoddly enough the thing that caused her the most discomfort was seeing it unfinished. This is not unlike how I feel about process, I’m uncomfortable with the start and the middle, I only like the end and I’d prefer to get there as fast as possible. I soon learnt that isn’t a good way to spend your life nor is it a way to enjoy the process of getting married.

It taught me the value of people

I grew up in a Maori family; at our base nature we are tribal people, community people. Aesthetically I don’t look Maori so I have in the past struggled with what my “place” is. At its very heart weddings, events, occasions and gatherings are about celebrating the community you have around you, whatever that looks like and your place in it.

It taught me the value of business confidence

Prior to undertaking this journey I was directionless with where I wanted my business to go, this sharp and timely journey has helped not only my brain but my motivation levels, I’m not there yet and who knows if I ever will be but I now have the stamina and confidence for the journey

From these experiences I have developed my approach to wedding style, a process rooted in minimalism, less is more and being purposeful is everything.

Through all these lessons I also learnt the importance of passing on knowledge and creating a community who wants to share in the same journey.