10/22/15

I am slightly terrified to write this. I
struggle with feelings of doubt, and fear being misunderstood. I worry about seeming
petty and blind to the "bigger picture." But after a lot of
consideration, I feel my perspective is important enough to take on the risks associated
with writing this post. Perhaps more significantly, I've learned that you
cannot rely on other people to write your story for you. As Laurel
Thatcher Ulrich taught us in Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History, time
is not kind to those who do not record their own history.

People who I consider friends and role models recently published a book- Mormon
Feminism: Essential Writings. According to the introduction by Joanna
Brooks, the book "offers and introduction to the Mormon Feminist movement
through the words of the women who have lived and built it. It includes
writings that capture key ideas, questions, concerns, and events in Mormon
feminist experience from the movement's organizing movements in the early 1970s
to the present." The book is an important resource for
the Mormon feminist movement, and I am happy that so many excellent resources
are available in one place.

The book is visually stunning. Cover artwork features the "Pants
Quilt," Sunday Morning, created by Nikki Matthews Hunter,
and made from pieces of pants worn by women to church in December 2012. I've
seen the quilt in person, and it is a beautiful and important piece of artwork.
The quilt is also being used as part of the promotional tour for Mormon Feminism, so that other women can
see the results of their activism while learning about the key events in Mormon
feminist history included in the book.

So it was surprising, and yes, very heart-breaking personally, to realize that
there is no other mention of Wear Pants to Church Day in the book itself (outside a single reference regarding the cover and once in the introductory timeline.) A
book of "essential" writings on "key events" in the Mormon
feminist experience, a book featuring the visual representation of that event
on its cover, yet no words from the people who lived and built the internationally
recognized event and played a key role in inspiring future Mormon feminist
activism.

There is no pain quite like the pain of feeling marginalized within an already
marginalized community. It feels like infection in an already deep wound.

And as beautiful and inspiring as the cover artwork is, and as necessary and
important each essay may be, it does not replace the erroneous and deliberate
erasure of "Pants" from this version of Mormon history. I have no
theories as to why this event was not included, or why, of the myriad of both
academic and personal essays about the event, none were published in Mormon
Feminism: Essential Writings.

I do know it is a gross disservice to people who helped organize the event,
future Mormon feminist scholars, and church members alike.

In 2012, Joanna Brooks described Wear Pants to Church Day as "the largest concerted Mormon feminist action in
history. Thousands of Mormon women from the South Pacific to Europe to North
America bucked convention and wore pants to church meetings on Sunday to
manifest their support for greater dialogue on the status of women within the
LDS Church, and Mormon men wore purple in solidarity.

For Mormon feminists and allies, the event was a
chance to step out of silence and fear and wordlessly say, “We are here. This
faith matters to us. And gender inequality weighs on us too.”

Organized by a new Mormon feminist group called
“All Enlisted,” the event set off strong positive and negative reactions within
the world of Mormonism—including threats of violence and intimidation directed
at organizers and would-be participants.”

And yet, just
three years later, the book, edited by Joanna Brooks, Rachel Hunt Steenblik, and Hannah Wheelwright, contains no mention of the event’s founders, or
even “All Enlisted,” the Facebook group I created to brainstorm ideas for
potential activism. (Although, strangely, the group is mentioned for later
activist action in 2013.) According to the sole reference in the timeline, the event occurred almost
miraculously. Somehow, somewhere, women decided to wear pants to church. We all
apparently received notification to do so through osmosis. Somehow, “the
largest concerted Mormon feminist action in
history” is now summarized in the
following way: “first Wear Pants to Church Day” (December 16).

Readers
unfamiliar with the event are never given any context for the causes, results, or
influence of “Pants” in Mormon Feminism- information included in either the introduction
or individual essays for every other significant act of feminist activism, including the
creation of WAVE and Ordain Women, both organizations created before and
after the creation of All Enlisted and Wear Pants to Church Day.

Though I
do not have a pending book deal in order to create my own history of Mormon
Feminism, and despite the obvious fact that I am not a significant player in
the eyes of my Mormon feminist sisters, I will tell you a little bit about Wear
Pants to Church Day, and why it deserves a fair place in history.

1. It was not an event developed, or even initially supported,
by “established” Mormon feminists. Despite being written about
on nearly every Mormon feminist thought-blog, and by several Mormon feminist
scholars, the event was created by a 26- year- old woman with no other influence
than a vaguely popular blog. That itself is pretty remarkable,
because it democratized the occasionally insular world Mormon feminism. You did
not need to be a “veteran” Mormon Feminist to have influence or power in All
Enlisted.

2. In fact, the “admins” for All Enlisted were all volunteers.
If you volunteered, you could help. This caused some pretty significant
problems with leadership, and created a lot of messes, but I still think it
speaks to the core values of participants and admins, we wanted everyone, and
we truly were “all enlisted” in creating a meaningful form of thoughtful
activism.

3.It was a world-wide movement, with a low socio-economic
barrier for participation and wide international and cross-cultural platform.
Anyone could participate simply by attending their local ward. This eliminated
the need for “proxy” participation, and allowed all interested parties the
chance to be included. (I am not criticizing activist movements which included
proxy alternatives, or actions which required participants to travel to one
location, just noting an advantage of Wear Pants to Church Day) We provided a
near universal opportunity to practice one’s faith as an activist, and it is
something organizers did right.

4.It broadened the scope of Mormon feminism to include
everyone. An admittedly accurate criticism regarding the event involves the lack
of clear message or “branding” for what “Pants” symbolized. Was this about
ordination? Or just wanting women to be including in Priesthood Executive
Meetings? Could you be a faithful Mormon and still want to see changes at
church? Could women who did not seek ordination find common ground with those
who did? While it was definitely confusing to have different answers for these
questions, I think it was also a source of power. Just as there was no
socio-economic barrier to pants, there was no faith requirement. Inactive women
(like me) participated. Active women participated. Ex and Post Mormons who
wanted a chance to honor their former selves participated. That was beautiful.

5.It evolved to encompass other, equally important issues
within Mormonism. By 2013, Mormon feminism had already evolved significantly. Under
the leadership of Nancy Ross and Jerilyn Hassell Pool, “Pants” became an event
dedicated to inclusion of all marginalized groups in Mormonism, and I think
these changes and evolution helped make church safer for many members.

6.All Enlisted was created on December 6, 2012. Wear Pants to
Church Day occurred on December 16. In 10 Days, All Enlisted significantly
altered the landscape of Mormon feminism. I remember Kate Kelly talking to me
on the phone after the event, and telling me that if “Pants” was such a big
deal, Mormon Feminists might as well ask for real, significant changes. The
stakes were already high, the rewards ought to be high as well. I’m not taking
credit for Ordain Women, or their work, or even claiming I inspired Kate Kelly
to found her organization. But I do think “Pants” helped create an eager and
motivated population of activist Mormons, ready to tackle the challenges of gender inequality in
the church.

There
were lots of flaws in “Pants.” It wasn’t a perfect movement. When I say it
ought to have been included more thoroughly in Mormon Feminism: Essential Writings, it isn’t because I believe I
personally needed to submit an essay, or because I need personal validation for
the event. It ought to have been included simply because it was the first
large-scale mainstream act of Mormon feminist activism outside the literary or
online realm in several years, possibly decades. That alone should merit its
inclusion in any book proclaiming to be a “comprehensive” and “essential” guide
to the movement.

But
because the personal is political, I will confess to feeling a bit appropriated
by the book. The results of my history, the image of the quilt made by the
pants I encouraged women to wear, is being sold for profit, while my name
remains absent from the history I helped create. If the adage “for most of
history, anonymous was a woman” is true, then Mormon Feminism: Essential History, like the Mormon Church before,
has given me a new name. I don’t think I like it.

I am not anonymous. My name is Stephanie
Lauritzen. In 2012 I organized All Enlisted.We organized “Wear Pants to Church
Day.” It was essential to Mormonism. It was essential to me.

UPDATE: I didn't include the names of the All Enlisted admins, and I ought to have. I wasn't sure they wanted to be included in this part of the story. I shouldn't have made an assumption, and inadvertently continued the erasure of Wear Pants to Church Day from history. Each one of these individuals did just as much work as I did, and sometimes more, for Pants. They helped make the group and event successful. I recently spoke about Pants at the Ex-Mormon Foundation Conference, and I was very open in recognizing that everything good, thoughtful,and meaningful about PANTS was the result of the good, thoughtful, and meaningful people who helped. Admins were Sandra Durkin Ford, Emilie Holmes Wheeler, Jenne Erigero Alderks, Hannah Pritchett Sara Katherine Staheli Hanks, and Kimberly Brinkerhoff, with special help from Meli Curtis Penford and Chelsea Robarge Fife who helped with PR and media.

In
addition to the news and media coverage, (Pants was covered in several national and local news outlets, including The New York Times, LA Times, NPR, and Huffington Post, many people wrote beautiful essays and
papers on the significance of Wear Pants to Church Day. Some other “Essential
Writings” about Wear Pants to Church Day include but are certainly not limited to the following sources:

All
Enlisted member Curtis Penford wrote about the positive and negative reaction
to Wear Pants to Church Day at Young Mormon Feminists. (pantsgate 2012)

Sandra Ford, All
Enlisted administrator and creator/manager of the Wear Pants to Church Day Facebook
page wrote an essay on Feminist Mormon Housewives advocating
for Mormon feminists to wear pants. (Mormon Feminists in Whoville and Why You
Should Wear Pants to Church this Sunday)

Writers
from The Exponent blog shared their
experiences on Wear Pants to Church Day (Our Experience with Wear Pants to Church Day)