Antidotes to a Consumer Society

Diane Nordstrum

Seems Defango has latched onto some new narratives along the way, and teamed up with some new people, for his Hoggbelly and QSlayers campaigns. His old pals, like Cheri, his favourite mod and second mommie, have been left behind for a while, to hold his teeny fort, while he trots through a variety of airports, to escape a subpoena in the Aaron Rich (brother of Seth Rich) lawsuit. The subpoena caught up with him on the same day he managed to avoid falling in an alligator pit, after being nearly trodden on by an astronaut. An exciting holiday, then, for DefangoTV, and he’s been updating us from his hotel rooms, and trying to read those complicated legal documents. Seems the court wants him to hand over all his internet communications, and it all proves to be far more interesting than even the tall tales he and his subs have been putting about of late.

He’d had them well trained already, mind. Years of slavishly following made them dog-like in their devotion, and he set them loose on Twitter, to try to cut a swathe through any conversations anyone else might be having with Thomas, well armed with a Chronically inaccurate map, compiled by a buddy, on what Defango has taken to calling his “BlackTeam”, the maps produced are designed to point out who is on the “other side”, the “White Team”, I guess, although the map colours change regularly, as confusing “layers” are produced exhaustively, by Chronic, who clearly has a bumper pack of felt-tips and a ruler at his disposal, or at least a handy little appwhich helps you target people with precision-ishness, assuming you have a high enough IQ to be able to spell their twitter handle correctly. Defango left the spelling to Chronic, and the other work in his chat to others. They tried to slay my good name in chat, but failed in Twitter, where they couldn’t control the conversation, and all sorts of info about the Black Team started to emerge.I suspected already, since the impersonation phone call and murder allegations had been made against me, that Defango and crew had indeed gone to the dark side, but some of the characters that emerged from under their rocks on Twitter looked like they hadn’t seen the light of the sun in a long time. This tattooed terror, Lestat, I knew already, but some new and disturbing things emerged into the light, along with the tattoo, along with darker aspects of his video work.

Lestat the vampire shows his wings

Turns out that Lestat likes ’em young, and although the age limit is 16 in some parts of his native Mexico, I’m pretty sure it’s not quite this young. I had heard allegations on Twitter, during the back and forth spats with Defango’s cultish subs, over my refusal to participate in the rather vicious anti-Thomas Schoenberger “Hoggbelly” campaign, and receiving all kinds of insults, started to realise that the people I’d not known very well before, had been tweeting out stuff like this, when I had thought the creepy back tattoo and dark videos were quite enough to be dealing with, let alone having to find out this kind of thing.While I was still reeling from the idea that Defango really didn’t care what type of folk he associated with (well, it didn’t come as that much of a surprise, but it wasn’t pleasant, finding out just how bad), I found more Nazis, Satanists, and Anarchists crawling about with them, than you could shake a stick at and say shoo. I’ve never had to report so many accounts before, for tweets I had directed my way, like Diane’s lovely friend Anna, who is a Nazi, and has other Nazi friends that wanted me to know how awful Jewish people are, and how ecologically sound Hitler was, in getting rid of quite a lot of them. Diane turned her on to the narrative about Thomas, that he was an awful person, and probably Jewish, and away she went, a woman on a mission.

Diane’s pal tweets her feelings about Jewish people

Turned out that Diane had been recruiting anyone and everyone that would listen to her stories about Thomas, on Twitter, by telling them he was an abusive man, and she the victim of his terrible deeds. She also had a major crush on him still, it emerged in her voluminous tweets on the topic, although she’d never met him. She begged to be unblocked by him, in tweets, before continuing on to berate and denigrate him to anyone she could get to listen.

I came in for a lot of her tirades, as she was convinced that I’d been up to some kind of jiggery pokery with him (though I’d never met him either), which she’d obviously wished she’d been up to herself, the general tenor of her tweets making it obviously that sex was on her mind a lot.

She wasn’t the only lady friend that was giving me what for on social media; back at the ranch, on YouTube, there I was, innocently commenting under a video, when who should spring out of the bushes, but Elizabeth Vering, and she was in a fit of hysterics as well, or at least put me into one with her complaints, as I couldn’t help posting this dittyin reply, though I suspect she’s more the romantic poetry type. I don’t think people will ever really appreciate my sense of humour as much as I do myself, somehow. I had to apologize to the channel owner for the mess in his comments, and back out gracefully, picking leaves from my attire as I retreated, smiling, and luckily, free of any scratches from the prickly bits.

The channel owner had the wit to remove the comments, as they were entirely unrelated to the content of the video, but I, of course, kept them, for my own amusement, and yours. The threat made me giggle, since I know her love of poetry, expressed in rambling comments under various Sofia Musik videos of Thomas’s, and I imagined she might wish to bore me to death with some epic poetry, perhaps Milton’s “Paradise Lost“.

Elizabeth vague threat

Back on Twitter, the not so epic battle continued to rage, and there were tears tantrums on that rage therapy couch known as Defango’s channel, with everyone in a funk, and Lestat advising Defango to be smarter (how could he, one wonders, since he claims an IQ of over 200?), and say less. I wonder how he’s going to do that, now that everything he’s said over the last while will be all out there anyway? Maybe Cheri can perform some “emotional alchemy”, as she promised me in comments. She’s very keen on that sort of thing , with this the book she’ll use, from her single volume playlist.

Welcome to your Trolling Level 2 Skills for Professional Development course. We hope you have found your way around our YouTube campus, and find our facilities comfy and welcoming. We are all about helping you to learn the skills you need, in a relaxed and friendly environment.
As you know, our Level 1 course was a feeder course, an introduction to the topic, and you should already be familiar with the basic skills every troll needs, in order to boost his channel subs, and ego, all at the same time, by use of simple drama and disinfo techniques, to disrupt the unsuspecting non-troll users of YouTube’s platform. You learned also the importance of building friendships, based around trying out these trolling techniques on other users, and why it is important to stay in a herd (incidentally, you have probably already enjoyed our lecture hall environments, where you can use our supplementary study rooms, tucked away quietly in the back, which you can spend time with your chosen groups, to get together to plan and implement your skills).

This semester starts with a demonstration from one of our lecturers providing an example of how a creative approach to truth allows the troll to tinker with it, until it takes on an entirely new shape, an important tactic, and a bolder, Level 2 skill which you need to learn on your way up the troll ladder to success, at least in your own mind. Never mind what the non-trolls think of you, when you have acquired the techniques of lying through your teeth while keeping a straight face, you will, by the time you’ve completed our Level 2 course, be so unable to distinguish which way is up anymore, from all the LARPage you’ve been implementing, that you won’t even notice those annoying normal people laughing their butts off at your attempts to fool people, which simultaneously turning up their noses at you, in disdain. This will cheese you off (you will learn cussin’ skills later on in Level 2, and I’m sure you look forward to putting that tool in your toolbox!!).

Nasty allegations that we cover later, for Level 3, candidates

Soon you will try to wipe the smiles off the faces of good people, like this, by using every trick in the troll kit to steal their peace of mind, and happiness, and we know how you look forward to that ! We studied these sickening creatures we know as non-troll YouTube users, in our Level 1 course, but for those of you who need a refresher to stay focused, here’s how those monsters of joy we’ll never really understand can be recognised, by their unwillingness to let the troll ply his trade (to heck with PC his/her/its inclusive, ni*ga J*wish f*gg*ty garbage people try to insist on, cos we iz takin’ their last safe spaces away) , unmolested by the truth intruding on the lies.

With no further ado, then, may I introduce that second-rate troll with an professional entry level skill demo you will enjoy. Mr. Manual Chavez, known as Defango down the Tubes, as he tries to pin the blame on Donna Emerald, a non-troll normal channel owner, for the police calling to his house, on a harassment charge, because she turned up in his chat, and pointed out some fibs. He uses the level one skill you are familiar with already; tell lies then quickly blame the someone, anyone, for the mess you’ve gotten into, when the lies aren’t terribly believable (scapegoating was briefly covered at Level 1, and we shall be revisiting it next semester, in more depth), and you run into some bother with the cops (reverse trolling module, covered in semester 1, Level 1).

The new Level 2 skill is to add lies to those you’ve already told, and try to get them spread about as widely by your troll friends and allies, as you can. Loyal subscribers, who have been with you for a while are ideal for this purpose, as they become slave-like and afraid to leave the herd, lest they become the victims of your trolling themselves. They can also provide a source of income, based on whatever narrative you sell them (hey, maybe even give you a place to stay, if you can’t get a job?) , and Level 2 will teach you to turn your skills into cash, as your subscriptions grow. You will need to do the reverse pointy-finger tricks you were introduced to first, in our Level 1 course, and document the LARP for subscribers, as your marketing hook…..

Defango’s “Bad Guys Fund”

…but with this groundwork in place, you will be able to generate that oh so important sympathy, once your subs engage with the narrative you present, and Presto! the cash appears magically, without any real work on your part, except a bit of hand-waving, and maybe a few tears too, if you have a lemon about. This requires a sympathy build-up, that can be tricky to get right, as some subscribers can get a bit turned off by seeing a grown man cry. Or threaten people, for that matter (we’ll be covering how to carefully edit your material, so this beginner’s mistake doesn’t accidentally occur, while you are in character).

Your friends in chat and comments can cash in on their channels too, by joining in the narrative, and keep the drama and clicks coming. Some channels specialize entirely in narratives, to boost their fragile troll egos, by keeping the clicks coming, and money doesn’t always come through the front door, like the bigger channels have, where you can get subs to throw their cash at you, like elderly Tom Jones’ fans in a knicker frenzy. Of course, having subs who will believe any crazy story you tell, helps a lot.

As you know, from your previous studies, trolls can harvest material from other channel’s narratives, and some of those apple-faced, lovely granny elderlemon trolls can tell the best stories around, and joining forces with other channels is always something to consider, no matter how big your ego is, in the effort to develop those all important professional skills further, build your business up more, or just help the circle of friends to use the drama as a troll tool to help get more subs and cash clanking into the Patreon buckets, as your skills improve. All this comes with the skills already learned in Level 1, and don’t fret, because it’s not true what they say about your nose growing the more you do it, or the better you get at it. Do it right, and the only inflation that will occur will be to your own ego, and the number of both troll-subs, who enjoy participating actively or in supportive roles in the drama, and stunned gawkers as well, who can’t believe that anyone can believe it (how to test these sort of subs’ loyalty, for potential use as flying monkeys will be covered in module 4).

So, now you can see the learning experience that is your stepping stone to a viable career on the Tubes, and endless fun to be had with your friends, in chat and comments. Staying with the herd can have benefits, but cast your net wide, when it comes to creativity, as the world’s your burrito, just there for the taking.

Defango’s mod mom uses the always popular gang theme

Blast those non-fun-loving normies with both guns blazing, and soon you’ll leave them in the dust, and maybe even have the show you want, the only thing on the Tubes tonight. Go gettem’. Chaaaaarrrge!