In the US, this is completely illegal. You're not 21, you can't drink anywhere, even in your private home.

Unfortunately, blanket statements like this tend to invite responses that contain the exceptions . In the state of Washington (which is the only state I am certain of the laws for, but I believe Oregon has similar laws) a parent may serve their minor child alcohol *in the parent's home* and under the parent's supervision. No one *else* can serve a minor, anywhere, that I am aware of. But, before I turned 21, I could be served a drink by my mother or father, in their house, while under their supervision.

Ooops, I should have quantified that it varies by State.

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lisambb

I almost had the same thing happen on new years eve. Our hosts were talking about champagne and their kids both piped up that they couldn't wait to have some like last year. The kids are 8 and 10. Mine are a bit younger and there was absolutely no way I was letting my kids have any champagne. It ended up not happening anyway but my dh and I talked later about the situation and I know I would have said no but my kids are a heck of a lot younger than yours. Anyway, your friend was quite wrong. It's scary how some people think.

My parents also offered my brother and I sips of alcohol growing up on special occasions. We could have a sip of champagne with toasts, for example. That's quite a bit different than handing son or daughter a full can or bottle of something to indulge in along with the adults.

One of the saddest stories I remember from high school was a drunk-driving accidents involving a bunch of local kids, several from my high school. They had all gotten liquored up and drove around in a pick-up, crashed, two were killed, the rest were seriously injured. The alcohol had been supplied to them by the mother of one of the kids, and she was right along in the pick-up (which was also hers) with them, partying along with them. One of those 'cool' moms. When the crash occured, she was more concerned about how her truck had been damaged rather than the fact that there were a bunch of dead and injured kids lying around. It was a huge local story for a while, and everyone was in an uproar over it. I can't remember the technicalities of the case, but unforuntalely, she wasn't punished as severly as she should of been.

Something similar happened in my neck of the woods several years back, and the MOM was the one driving, she tried for several years to escape going to jail because she was now mentally unfit to do her time because she was an allocholic and she suffered from depression over causing the death of her child and some other children. I think she was finally sentenced last year after 4 years in court, but I do not hink she is in jail yet as she has checked into a rehab/mental health facility.

In the US, this is completely illegal. You're not 21, you can't drink anywhere, even in your private home.

Unfortunately, blanket statements like this tend to invite responses that contain the exceptions . In the state of Washington (which is the only state I am certain of the laws for, but I believe Oregon has similar laws) a parent may serve their minor child alcohol *in the parent's home* and under the parent's supervision. No one *else* can serve a minor, anywhere, that I am aware of. But, before I turned 21, I could be served a drink by my mother or father, in their house, while under their supervision.

L1NDSAY

Claire, doesn't the fact that the government has rules against 15/16 year olds consuming alchohol qualify as enough of a rule to make you refrain from serving alchohol to minors?

I don't know for certain but I think Claire is from the UK like me in which case it's not against the rules, they can order it themselves if they have a meal in a restaurant at 16. I realise this is controversial especially with all the international/personal differences but offering mid-teens an occasional alcoholic drink is not shocking behaviour here in my experience. Parents prefer to at least know where they are otherwise the teens are on the playing field with the white lightning and it all goes downhill from there.

I don't know for certain but I think Claire is from the UK like me in which case it's not against the rules, they can order it themselves if they have a meal in a restaurant at 16.

This is true - I made a point of knowing this when I was growing up. As long as it was with a meal we could order a glass of wine or half of something. It was no great shocker to let teenagers try alcohol, provided it wasn't excessive.

Quote: I just want to applaud your for sitting down with your son and telling him you mde a mistke and what the mistake was, and also detailing the reson why you do not want him drinking. Thanks for the support. It's nice to hear that I did something right. A lot of the time we're doing the mommy thing without a clue as to when we are screwing up and when we are doing it right.My friendship with this woman was once a very close one, but it has faded over the past 2 years. I think I will just allow it to continue to fade. Sad.

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Peaches737

I think most posters are in agreement that giving alcohol to a minor who is not ones own is off the charts. DH and I often host open houses where sometimes 70 odd people come. Some have teen children, and we normally just set out a cooler of beer/wine, and another with non-alcoholic drinks.

I am very aware of peoples' different rules for their kids, and would never dream of offering a drink to a minor. I would let that be initiated by the parent. AND--you bet your bippy that if i saw young "Tzyphaknee" walking around with a wine cooler I would approach the parent and ask if that was ok. (Maybe parents offered, maybe she was sneaking it)

If the parent says it is ok, that is their business, but if not, I would explain to the teen that it was not ok, and I would suggest a lovely iced tea.

Even in my own home, I respect the parents judgement regarding the child.

A friend of mine has a son, who is 16, that wants to invite 2-3 friends over, and see what being drunk is like. She asked me for advice, and feels that if the kids are in the home, not driving, etc. that they will be safe, and under a (not too intrusive) eye. I told her to call the parents of his friends that he would like to invite, and ask how they felt. Involve them in the discussion, and let them know that there will be alcohol. I also warned her that she is taking on a huge liability by serving alcohol to minors in her home. I suggested that maybe she and the other moms may wish to have a party of their own in the kitchen, while the boys "do their thing" in the den.

Another karma moment for me happened this New Years eve. 16 year old girl, (the hosts niece-in-law) her dad said it was ok for her to have a glass of champagne and one drink/beer/glass of wine. He told her that two was her limit throughout the night. The host and I were sitting near the bar, and did a pretty good job of enforcing that she would be drinking diet cokes after her second. She batted her eyes at the hosts brother who snuck her a third drink, without anyones knowledge. The hosts brother was also the one covered in throwup shortly after she finished the drink. I think that may teach him to respect the wishes of others. Hee hee

Peaches I hate to be the little black raincloud here but i would think verbal OK from a parent or not - kid drinking alchohol in your house, bought by you - courting disaster.

In the case of your friend, it seems likely that if it went to court it would be considered furnishing a minor - whethter the parents of the minors in questioned cared or not. It would aslo send the kids the wrong message that being drunk is a risk only if you are driving. Any parent who called to extend such an invitation to me would no longer be trusted anywhere near my kids.

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kiero

I almost had the same thing happen on new years eve. Our hosts were talking about champagne and their kids both piped up that they couldn't wait to have some like last year. The kids are 8 and 10. Mine are a bit younger and there was absolutely no way I was letting my kids have any champagne. It ended up not happening anyway but my dh and I talked later about the situation and I know I would have said no but my kids are a heck of a lot younger than yours. Anyway, your friend was quite wrong. It's scary how some people think.

L

My parents always allowed us a tiny bit of champagne on new years. As young as 6 I can remember getting maybe 1cm in my very own champagne flute. There is probably more alcohol in a ripe banana than the tiny amount I was allowed to drink. But it was understood that it was a very special occasion.

I don't understand the prohabtion on small amounts. I rmemeber having my first full cooler at around 15. My cousin and I were allowed one for a full afternoon/evening BBQ. I am sure that given how slowly we consumed them (had to make them last right) that our BAL probably never changed. And these were 7% things. But boy did we feel grown up and we also stayed out of trouble. We figured that if we were noticed being anything other than on our best behaviour the coolers would be taken away. So we were extra helpful and watched the smaller kids and were super polite to everyone.

I begged and begged and begged, and finally was given a tiny sip in our hotel room at the age of eight or nine during our vacation to France. I immediately dashed for the bathroom for water to get the awful taste out of my mouth, much to the amusement of my mother. So now I know it tastes bad.

I'm also in my school's SALSA group. (Students Advocating Life Without Substance Abuse, but really it's a non-use group.) I was informed by a girl in my dorm that SALSA people are crazy and that drinking is really great. Upon hearing the story about my trip to France, she told me that I should try the ones that taste like juice. Um, hello, both of us are underage?

But here's a surefire way to keep your kids out of the alcohol: explain to them what goes into the making of it. My sister now calls wine "moldy grape juice" (which, technically, it is...) after we tried that on her.

I begged and begged and begged, and finally was given a tiny sip in our hotel room at the age of eight or nine during our vacation to France. I immediately dashed for the bathroom for water to get the awful taste out of my mouth, much to the amusement of my mother. So now I know it tastes bad.

My dad had a similar philosophy. I will repeat what my dad told me when we had much the same interaction (though I was a bit older).

"It's an acquired taste. Like coffee."

Still cant stand beer, but wine? Give me a good heavy Merlot any day...

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Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou