Author
Topic: Uh.. ya, don't do that.... (Read 1084117 times)

Make sure the parking lot is empty and likely to remain that way when you do something weird in it at work.

My BIL's hobby is making bonsai trees. He likes to use the kind of moss that grows in parking lots to line the base of the trees with, because the moss is thick and fuzzy and matted. Our parking lot at work is especially good for moss, for some reason. It just grows super thick and luxurious around the curbs.

I decided to be nice today and procure some of the moss for my BIL. To help pry the moss up, I took a plastic fork with me, and a plate upon which to put the moss after I'd lifted it away from the asphalt. I was crouched down next to the curb, transporting moss to the plate, when I looked up and realized someone was pulling in to the parking lot, and she was staring at me with the weirdest look on her face. That is when I realized that while my actions made perfect sense to me, to everyone else I was out in the parking lot with a plate full of moss..and a fork.

Don't change hair color brands to save a few bucks. Loreal's auburn is fine...turns out Garnier Nutrisse's auburn is from their "colors not found in nature" line. I look like a clown! Luckily based on the fact it's been 3 days and the color is still leaching on to my towel and the fact that reds seem to fade quickly, I shouldn't have to deal with it too long!

I have done this. I tried something new, again, even though I know better, and the light auburn I have in my hair is more like a dark blonde. I look horrid as a blonde. John Freida's auburn, which I will be going back too gets me HUGE compliments.

Do not take two dogs out to walk on your 40 acres, keeping one hound on a leash and letting the very trustworthy one run loose.

Trustworthy will run by hound, exciting him into bouncing and pulling. Trustworthy will run by again, and Hound will zoom right into your ankle, which will make an ugly noise and commence to swell and turn colors. You will have to crawl back to the house, with the loving and concerned dogs "helping."

You will then have to wait until your platonic roommate comes home, and get him to take you to the ER.

OTOH, it all turned out well in the end. Later that night, due to pain and the emotions that come with it, I started crying. He asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't talk. After a bit, he asked, "Is it because you don't know how I feel about you?" I nodded yes, and smoochiness ensued.

We've been together for 18 years, married for 16.

Logged

For in the fatness of these pursy timesVirtue itself of vice must pardon beg,Yea, curb and woo for leave to do him good. Hamlet, Act 3, scene 4, lines 144-146 (Pursy: wheezing)

Do not take two dogs out to walk on your 40 acres, keeping one hound on a leash and letting the very trustworthy one run loose.

Trustworthy will run by hound, exciting him into bouncing and pulling. Trustworthy will run by again, and Hound will zoom right into your ankle, which will make an ugly noise and commence to swell and turn colors. You will have to crawl back to the house, with the loving and concerned dogs "helping."

You will then have to wait until your platonic roommate comes home, and get him to take you to the ER.

OTOH, it all turned out well in the end. Later that night, due to pain and the emotions that come with it, I started crying. He asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't talk. After a bit, he asked, "Is it because you don't know how I feel about you?" I nodded yes, and smoochiness ensued.

We've been together for 18 years, married for 16.

So... apparently you should do that then.

Logged

Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude... -- Big Rude Jake

Do not take two dogs out to walk on your 40 acres, keeping one hound on a leash and letting the very trustworthy one run loose.

Trustworthy will run by hound, exciting him into bouncing and pulling. Trustworthy will run by again, and Hound will zoom right into your ankle, which will make an ugly noise and commence to swell and turn colors. You will have to crawl back to the house, with the loving and concerned dogs "helping."

You will then have to wait until your platonic roommate comes home, and get him to take you to the ER.

OTOH, it all turned out well in the end. Later that night, due to pain and the emotions that come with it, I started crying. He asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't talk. After a bit, he asked, "Is it because you don't know how I feel about you?" I nodded yes, and smoochiness ensued.

Back on topic: I hate to be even typing this but - don't bend over to look at something or pick something up when you have a glass of liquid in your hand. Yeah, turns out the laws of psychics will not forgive you momentarily forgetting about your drink.

Logged

"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't." ~Frank A. Clark

When you are working on replacing a radiator hose in your car...Don't hold the bottle of shellac and the hose in the same hand. You will carefully goop up one end of the hose, then when you flip the hose over to goop the other end...you will pour the entire bottle of shellac down your shirt. Copious amounts of swearing will ensue.

If you know your stomach doesn't like milk in the morning don't think "I'm bound to get hungry today, I'll have cereal for breakfast", you will end up sitting at your desk with horrible stomach cramps.

If you know your stomach doesn't like milk in the morning don't think "I'm bound to get hungry today, I'll have cereal for breakfast", you will end up sitting at your desk with horrible stomach cramps.

That's why a PB&J bagel is my go to breakfast. I find the protein keeps me going longer than cereal.

Logged

When angels go bad, they go worse than anyone. Remember, Lucifer was an angel. ~The Marquis De Carabas

If you know your stomach doesn't like milk in the morning don't think "I'm bound to get hungry today, I'll have cereal for breakfast", you will end up sitting at your desk with horrible stomach cramps.

That's why a PB&J bagel is my go to breakfast. I find the protein keeps me going longer than cereal.

I normally have a yoghurt but I've been trapped in training this week so I haven't been able to keep my usual schedule of yoghurt and tea for breakfast, big glass of water when I get to work, coffee mid-morning followed by an early-ish lunch.

When sitting on an exercise ball instead of the normal chair at work, don't bend down to pick up the napkins you just dropped. You may not be able to get back up.

Also, no matter how much stabilizing the ball needs for you to sit down, don't actually sit ON your hand. It makes things really awkward when you try to pull it out and it makes a huge noise that everyone in the office can hear.

Don't have an egg-and-cheese on a jalapeno cheddar bagel for breakfast, then a Korean spicy bibimbop bowl (with spicy cauliflower salad) for lunch out of the local food truck, and then Korean spicy cold noodles for dinner in the same day.

I woke yesterday as usual, got up, checked my email on my phone, and a sudden urgency propelled me to the bathroom.

Since then, I have been very cautious about what I ate, and took it easy. Today, I was not hungry in the morning, so I just had an iced latte until lunch. Not the correct thing to do when you just had tummy troubles the day before. My intestinal tract is having an everything must go sale.

Logged

ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien