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So This Is Me

Somethings have changed . I guess I was a boy at one point, too green for most. Now, I guess I’m a man. But what does that mean? It used to mean that I’d be so much more than I used to be, ready to tackle anything that stood in my way, and my growing would all be through. I guess part of that is true, now that I sit and think about it, but not entirely.

Even though I’m a man, I still feel like a boy in many respects. I’m still perfectly naïve. I still have nightmares. I still believe. I still get nervous around girls. I still wanna play. I still need my superheroes. I still wonder. I still dream more than anything.

But I’m so much more than the boy. I’ve been as strong as a mountain. I’ve been as bold as a patriot. I’ve been as outspoken as a Bible Belt preacher. I’ve been as dumb as a sheep. I’ve been reading like a monk. I’ve been writing like a poet. I’ve been singing like a radio. I’ve been listening like a blind man. I’ve been seeing like a newborn. I’ve been philosophizing like a prophet. I’ve been giving like a parent. I’ve been taking like a thief. I’ve been working like an ox. I’ve been learning like a child. I’ve been growing like a tree. Everything has expanded me.

Still, there’s this duality here, and it makes me think. Will I always be both? Will one conquer the other? Where am I going to go and who will I be when I arrive?

Then again, even though I’ve got my questions, I have learned some things. I have learned that everyone is capable of everything, for good or ill. I have learned that greed is the worst kind of ignorance. I have learned that there will always be pain. I have learned that the ones who’ll hurt you most are the ones closest to you. I have learned how love conquers as much as it promotes. I have learned that the Devil is realer than when I actually believed in him.

But that’s not all. I have found out that generosity is the best kind of love. I have found out that love is really what we’re all hoping for. I have found out love is the only thing that’s going to save any of us. I have found out that our imperfections are our most brilliant characteristics. I have found out that the greatest gift any of us will ever be given is the life we’re born into. I have found that we’re all in this together, whether we know it or not. I have found out that there’s still a chance. I have heard all about this God everybody’s talking about.

That’s who I am: the boy, the man, the 24-year-old. How do I feel about me? It varies, but I guess I have my moments, and for that I wouldn’t change me for anything. Of course, there’s somebody more to become very soon.