Afternoon Confessional : "Law & Order" Is Ruining My Love Life

Unlike most sane people, I was thrilled to get my summons for jury duty. Sure, it was going to be a few days of boredom and tediousness, but as a Law & Order fan, I was stoked for the chance to prowl around the larger-than-life court houses.

Actually, maybe "fan" isn't the right word; more like fanatic. Aficionado. Addict.

My Tivo is stuffed full of every* L&O* imaginable, from SVU, Criminal Intent, and of course, the original!

I snatched the remote out of her hand and explained it wasn't the crimes I cared about—it was the characters. DA Jack McCoy and Detective Eliot Stabler are everything I want in men: brave, brilliant, indomitable…and pretty foxy! Heck I even have a girl-crush on Mariska Hargitay!

I don't need the guy in my life to be dodging bullets and derailing Mafiosos, but I need a lionhearted man. And judging by the weenies and losers in my little black book, that seems to be in short supply these days.

On dates, I always wonder how the guy would stack up to Stabler's piercing stare or McCoy's rhetorical acrobatics. Inevitably, my boytoy runs a distant second to an hour with my favorite cast of characters.