Posts Tagged ‘knt gear

Mrs. Crappy would have been a fan of Pete Johnson. And she might have found Archie Griffin a bit irritating.

The people who sit near us in the stadium undoubtedly recognize the chatter that comes from seats 9 and 10, Row 22 in 14 C. I sometimes have difficulty forming complete sentences, particularly when Ohio State has the ball, but Mrs. Crappy is able to clearly — and loudly — express her displeasure with running backs who stutter-step too much before hitting the hole.

“QUIT JUKING AROUND!”

She recognizes that a certain amount of, uh, juking around is necessary, but her patience with the practice is thin. After two games watching Jordan Hall and Dontre Wilson, she’s going to be very happy when Carlos Hyde — Ohio State’s premiere north-south tailback — is permitted to return to the lineup.

When Hyde is back on the field, it could be that 14 C won’t hear “Quit juking around!” quite as often for the rest of the season. But so we don’t forget — and to honor Mrs. Crappy’s contention that a downhill running game is the best kind of running game — the Killer Nuts Tailgating shirt shop has unveiled its very first new design for the 2013 season:

There’s more than a week before the next home game. Order now, and we can all carry Mrs. Crappy’s message into Ohio Stadium against Florida A&M.

Your favorite KNT shirts — Pork Division Champs, Leaders Champs, Urban Renewal and We Are Killer Nuts — are still available in the store as well, as as always, your purchases assure that I’ll have two or three extra dollars to spend on our tailgate parties. Thank you once again for your support.

Sure, you’ve seen this phrase around since Urban was hired last fall, but given that this is the official Killer Nuts Tailgating version, I know you’ll want to pick up one — or maybe even several — for yourself. And given that the season begins IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS, I know you’ll want to order today. It’s available in men’s and women’s versions, in multiple colors.

And as a final incentive, do keep in mind that I get One American Dollar for each shirt sold, and I promise to re-invest that princely sum in our tailgate parties. We’re talking the difference between Tostitos and store-brand tortilla chips here, people. Dig deep.

As the season gets closer, the energy we have to spend on The Unpleasantness seems to dwindle each and every day. Sure, we’ll have one more day to think about all that stuff — when the NCAA announces its findings and whatever sanctions it has ready for us — in two or three months — but in the meantime, we’re going to be thinking about football.

However.

There is no question that the most recent off-season is going to at least color everything that happens during the season, from picking a quarterback to waiting on some very good players to finish up their suspensions to enduring what I’m sure will be endless carping about the program during televised games, especially on those televised by our friends at ESPN (Tip: Just don’t listen to anything — ANYTHING — that comes out of Mark May’s mouth for the rest of 2011).

Yes. No matter what we want to happen, The Unpleasantness isn’t going away anytime soon. It’s going to be the elephant in the stadium all year. And it’s going to be a challenge for everyone connected with the program — players, coaches, administrators and fans.

How does one approach a challenge? A former coach we’re very familiar with suggested you embrace it (unless the challenge involves potentially ineligible players, I guess). And that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to take on the haters, and we’re going to enjoy it while we do.

We’ve just added the above designs — available in multiple colors and in men’s and women’s styles — to the Killer Nuts Tailgating store, and we’re hoping that you’ll see fit to have one or the other ready for the Sept. 3 season opener. We’ve spent weeks and weeks being appropriately ashamed, shocked and/or contrite (well, sort of); now that the season’s here, it’s time to put that crap behind us.

(And yes, we’re aware that 0-13 isn’t technically what happened to the 2010 season, but we don’t care — it’s funnier this way.)

You’ll find the store here, and ridiculously detailed directions on placing your orders here. Of course, the lovely “we are killer nuts” and “I blame the tailgate” designs are still available and, as always, if you need a different size or a different color, just let me know and I’ll make it happen.

3) In the window for that style, select the size you need in the drop-down menu (see below).

4) When you’ve picked the size, click on the shopping cart icon (see below), and that selection will be added to the cart. That will take you to a page where you can choose to proceed to purchase or continue shopping. If you continue shopping, you’ll go back to the store page, where you can make additional selections.

5) When you’ve picked out everything you want, hit proceed to purchase. You’ll go through successive screens where you enter shipping and billing addresses and credit card information. (If you have a PayPal account, you can also elect to pay that way — it will automatically take you to your PayPal account to complete the transaction.)

6) Finally, you’ll land on a page where you review your order. Click “Place your order” at the bottom of the page and you’re all set.

If you haven’t checked out the store since it was announced here a couple weeks ago, you should take a look. We’ve filled a couple of special requests — white Ts with red or gray letters — and we’ve added hoodies in scarlet or gray. And if you’re ordering soon, you have them in plenty of time for that last tailgate party of the year.

Thanks to the nice people at Spreadshirt, a Pittsburgh company that gives any idiot — and by that, I mean me — the opportunity to open up a small T-shirt shop, we have the first editions of Killer Nuts Tailgating shirts, available to anyone who wants them. Take a look:

For the ladies, in red, dark gray or black.

And for the guys, in red, light gray or black.

They’re inexpensive at $9.90 a pop, and Spreadshirt generally does a good job of getting them to you a few days. So if you order now, you’ll have yours by the Penn State game.

If you think we should add kids’ sizes or if you have an idea for another text-based design, just let me know. We’ll make it happen.