Like this:

Ups and downs
Wins and loses
Lovers and haters
Friends but no enemies
Single parent home
Good and bad days
A Happy New Year….gone wrong

However my hand was dealt, I have been strong and worked through it. Strength and determination wasnt lacked. It’s been a rough year, the end was just as rough. Happy, sad, and some confusing moments.

2011 has been a year full of lessons, two main things stick out – not all “friends” were friends and many words that were spit, had no real meaning, so they weren’t kept. Love? Oh how I have learned about love. It can have you making choices and doing things that should NOT be done! Last thing that stood out….liars will be liars…”see what had happened was”. Lol

Trying to get the right jump off in 2012, I will be in church blessing my new year coming as well as my son on the way and the other two I already have. I plan to love and be loved. This year I won’t just settle like I’ve done this year. Settling…set me back! Just because the hand I was dealt wasn’t the best, doesn’t mean I can’t make the best of it!

Blue
is the ink I spill
photographic memory
imaginative mind
loving soul
a tortured heart
fairytale of what love is
eyes that have a sweet tooth
missing link to my hand
all expressed
thru the spilling of
my
blue ink

This space for two
Just me and you
A lot I need to say
About things, I’ve handled the wrong way
Please hear me out
Continue to love me without a doubt
I’ve done some wrong
Though you were in my heart, all along
I made a bad choice
All I hear is your voice
….in my head,
A lot of regret
I’ve learned a lot about love
A feeling you weren’t afraid of
It wasn’t supposed to be this way
I miss you every night and day
Even more, I love you
…join me at this table for two…

Like this:

Underneath this pale skin
Lies memories of where I’ve been
The poetry I write, its about me
Can’t write on what I haven’t seen
My heart is more scarred
Than that of a junkies arm
Always wanted a real love
But now, that’s something im scared of
So many stories and lies
People have so much to hide
Who can you begin to trust
Each disappointment makes it hard to adjust
I want a love that’s irreplaceable
Not one that’s sometimes available
Never been one to be alone and sad
The past few months, I’ve been so mad
It’s one thing after another
It’s not easy as a single mother
My love and kids is all I have
I miss the shared laughs
I don’t like to write anymore
But lonliness is hard to ignore
Change is definately in the making
I need patience with the time its taking
Removing people I don’t need
Replacing them with people who care for me
One step at a time
My life, I will redesign…

Like this:

I’ve made some stupid choices
People so anxious for me to hear their voices
What’s been done, is done
Can’t change it for no one
When you make your bed, you lay in it
I’ll keep my head up, and won’t quit
I look at myself and often wonder why
I’ve paid the price, and the cost was high
Some people have it worse than me
But without my mistakes, who would I be
Life is a lesson for all of us
Living it, we learn who we can & can’t trust
People lift you up with words
And let you down through hurt
It’s been said, you make your own destiny
Only if we could predict what it will be
I’ve said before I’m making a change
I’m still living the same, with nothing rearranged
And still I complain
Things are the same
As hard as it may seem
We have to let go & let it be
I know what is meant, will come
I won’t always do this alone
With positive, motivating, Christian friends
Gaining my faith, helps in the end
I pray for him all the time
Impatiently waiting for the sign
At 34 years old
A life of memories, I hold
Many more years to grow
Life, has its ups and downs, this we know
With God on my side
I’ll change my view, and set standards high.