Time to "MAKE MYSELF MY HOBBY" - From 2005 to 2008 I lost 42 kgs and things went wrong in my life with my mum and work and went in to major depression. I am trying my hardest to get back in to it and doing it for me. Going to "Make Myself My Hobby".

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Tuesday, 11 October 2005

Weigh in tonight

Ok so I know that I hadn't been good this week and I paid for it! I gained 900gram which took me under that bloody 20 kilos so now I have lost 19.9 kilos and I am really quite gutted about it and I put on a brave face tonight but I wasn't that happy about it.

There was a good thing happen tonight I was asked if I wanted to do the recording of the weigh inns every tuesday night. I think I am going to do it. They don't pay that much but at least that money I earn can be taken off my weekly fee.

I brought two new bras today in a lovely bluey purple (size 22D I might add woohoo) I used to be a 26D. I also brought a pair of high heeled shoes, I don't usually wear heels I wear flat shoes but in the last couple of weeks after losing the weight I want to look pretty and feel pretty and there is not enough out there for bigger woman that doesn't cost the earth.

Then I thought I would show you this photo and see what you think. I can actually see a difference from January now Woohoooo so the photo of me with the green shirt was taken the night I went to Weight Watchers on the first night 11 January 2005 and the last photo was on the 23rd September 2005.

I have to keep telling myself that I am doing good and that I am doing exercise and I am healthier now. The last couple of weeks I have been worrying too much about everyone elses weight loss and why I haven't lost but as from tonight I am going to do this for me again.. and not because I want to do what others are doing. I think I realised it tonight after a friend at weight watchers was only interested in herself and not in what I was saying... and I can understand that to some extent as she is doing it for herself but she didn't listen to what I had said (when she had asked me) and then asked the same question a minute later. This is the same girl that told me I could loose 20 kilos in the space of time I set for myself and I made it only a week after I had said I was going to achieve it. I am tired of not having encouraging people around me. I have to give credit where credit is due but I am finally doing this because of the support of Kris... her support by going to the gym with me and phoning me to see how weigh inns have gone has kept me realising this is a long haul and the people that really care will make the effort to find out how I am doing. So I have to do the same in return too... that is what friends are for. I think I do do that in return for her I hope... I do try my hardest to listen to her and talk to her hmmm anyway.

I am finishing this rather late tonight. I started this at 8.30 but finished at 9.50 wow I was trying to hard to be a perfectionist tonight instead of just typing it out but I rewrote it so many times grrr.