Designer Bags

You can always tell when someone just got their first or a new Celine/Proenza/Balenciaga bag because it’s shoved into the forefront of every picture they take. I’m pretty sure some girls only get the bags just to take pictures of them. I mean, I do – but that’s besides the point. Designer bags make it easy for us to quickly evaluate and judge people we don’t know.

Your choice in designer bags says so so so much about you as not only a consumer, but also a human being.

Balenciaga City Bag: You’re a basic bitch. You probably wear a ton of leggings/skinny jeans and go to soul cycle. You iron your hair regularly. You’ll wear your bag to lunch at Forty Carrots and never on your shoulder. Any true Balenciaga-er knows to hold it in your hand or your elbow joint for optimal viewing.

Proenza Schouler PS1: Class up the ass. You’re probably super trendy and haven’t touched a straightening iron since the 7th grade (as it should be). You’ll wear your PS1 to class cause you DGAF and you know to use the long strap and wear it on your shoulder because you, again, DGAF.

Celine Trapeze Bag: You are a classy ass bitch who probably has a job or internship (see here for ‘job’ definition). You aren’t show-offy you just want a nice understated bag and the Trapeze bag is the way to do it. Unlike it’s sister…

Celine Phantom Bag: UGHUGHUGH. If you have one of these please throw it away. The only people who wear these, seriously, are people who need other people to know that they spent 2-5k on a bag. This bag is not only ugly, but also huge. Who needs that much space to carry around their phone and chapstick?

Thanks to Nikki Hilton for being the biggest bag hoarder around and showcasing her collection for the better of this post.