After weeks of tough negotiations, the contract was finally signed on Thursday.

No word on if Vinnie Barbarino is on the team.

I am officially a sweathog.

Yes, I know I am breaking the story before the news conference is called, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

After a couple of years of being a free agent on the ball hockey scene, I had to weigh my options carefully. For a while, it looked like I was going to retire, but then I changed my mind after my Pokerstars deal fell through.

Asked to play awe-inspiring defence (ie- don’t suck), I had to do some more research on the Sweathogs to make sure they were the right fit. The conversation went something like this:

Matt (the team’s general manager): Tom, I have a ball hockey team, and we need some help. We’re wondering if ….

Me: I’m in.

Matt: … you might know someone who would store all the stinky goalie equipment.

From there, the conversation went into my skills.

Matt: Do you have a decent slapshot?

I'm hoping she's one of my teammates.

Me: No.

Matt: What about a wrister?

Me: Sorry.

Matt: Are you able to pass the ball?

Me: As long as the other team isn’t on the court.

Matt: How about on defence? Do you block shots?

Me: Only if they hit me accidentally. I’m too busy moving out of the way of the shot to know if I blocked it or not. Those things hurt.

Matt: Okay. We could use a guy who can play deep deep left field.

Me: Aren’t we talking about ball hockey?

Matt: Yes, but it’s a new way to play. You stay out in left field, and we’ll call you when we need you.

Of course, eventually Matt came around to the fact I could be a big help to the team.

What I heard: We need you. We can’t do it without you.

What Matt actually said: Okay, because of injuries, we’re down to five guys, including the goalie. We need one more to be able to submit a roster. All you need to do is be on the floor, and not even move. Just stay out of the way, and we’ll do the rest.