Monday, April 28, 2014

Underworld entities that couldn't care less about you or your interests.

d12
1. Bouldermen: great rocks cursed w/startling intelligence, telepathic, sessile, ambitious long-term planners but must wait for forces of nature/incredibly strong creatures to effect travel, if smashed become intelligent heap of stones
2. Uurx the Impervious, immortal giant w/thick, lustrous coat of crimson fur, the softest, coziest, cuddliest imaginable, cannot be harmed physically or by magic, totally non-violent, roams the Underworld in search of non-existent mate
3. The Invisible Spectators: loiter near lairs of lethal monsters and terrors hoping for adventurers to happen by for a dust-up, issue rousing applause during melee (always supporting the monsters) but admire fierce combatants, in event of TPK they respectfully return uneaten portions of bodies to surface
4. Pure intellect embodied in colossal fungal bloom filling vast chamber, essentially death-proof, pulsates a good deal, automatically seizes the minds of any sentient beings w/in 150' but readily discards as boring/pointless, powerful telepathic broadcast just makes very rude comments in very loud psychic voice
5. Time bats flick back and forth in timestream, hover hummingbird-like, no interest in surroundings whatsoever, brain-scrambling trans-dimensional echolocation accompanies random arrival/departure.
6. Semi-divine giant black cave swallows w/feathers like plate armor swoop in, issue stunning wing-buffets, pin adventurers w/preternaturally mighty feet, seize all coils of rope (prefer 50'), gently release and its off to improve the nest
7. The Demi-material Horde: cast out of native dimension, indistinct humanoid shadows armed to the teeth w/shadow weapons, drill constantly, await arrival of sorcerer-messiah to make them fully material at which point they will destroy everything
8. The cold fires: levitating balls of blue flame roam the Underworld collecting information, will trade rumor for rumor which they dispense w/dispassionate objectivity, if proffered rumor seems lame, off they go on their way
9. Dejected deity, giant-size human w/head cradled in hands, blazing halo, gleaming platinum lute broken and cast aside, from time to time shakes tremendous fist at cold uncaring cosmos but otherwise unwilling to share feelings, acid tears endanger any nearby
10. Gigantic cave urchins extend their neurotoxin-pumping quills whenever approached by anything, an uncontrollable reflex, so no one ever gets close enough to hear their whispered poetry
11. The miles-long eyeless serpent keeps most of its mass down a bottomless pit, titanic head lolls about mouth agape, probably a good idea to throw some food in there as one passes by, many Underworld residents toss in their dead
12. Diseased demon-lord wracked by chills, exploding boils, streams foul oily sweat, projectile vomits poison at random intervals but still unbelievably powerful, must eat of divine flesh for cure, unless you've got some you may wish to get the hell out the way

Saturday, April 26, 2014

d12
1. Thrill-seeking daredevil humanoid in crash helmet sets the bar high for observing rivals w/wild rodeo-like ride on back of feral titano-swine
2. Gung the world's most muscular giant, dressed in wrestling singlet, carries variety of exercise boulders in huge net, stops any who cross his path to impress them with feats of strength, hair-trigger temper
3. Evil dwarf engineering team on union-mandated binge-drinking break, have huge section of cavern wall removed, installing duct-work, entire section of Underworld taped off as construction zone
4. Ingenious, hard-working humanoid pyromaniacs search for new and interesting targets for spectacular arson, train of bearers haul accelerants, black powder, range of colorful pyrotechnics
5. Utterly exhausted dragon in advanced state of decrepitude, scales dropping, toothless, flames diminished to parody of former potency, devoid of hoard after unfortunate string of gambling failures, looking for a suitable place to shuffle off mortal coil, followed at safe distance by variety of assassins, vengeance-takers in heated debate
6. No one has ever seen an angel looking quite this deranged, dragging a huge flaming sword, howling with grief one second, raging the next, emitting peals of mirthless laughter the one after that
7. Trolls on a bender stagger about bellowing nonsense, bellies bloated to gross immensity, mouths occluded by froth/foam, black eyes closed to slits, out of booze, politely inquire about more wine from any they meet
8. Ogre wranglers on Underworld ape hunt haul cart w/steel cage already loaded w/berserk four-armed albino chimps, offer apes for sale, insanely cruel ape training kit included
9. Wandering collection of confused/hostile beings from across time, recently freed from stony imprisonment when ancient medusa sisters senselessly murdered one another over the love of a surface man, also recently de-stoned
10. Subterranean barbarians engage in ritual brawl before mass marriage ceremony unites survivors in clan merger
11. Swarm of rabid bats on tour of Underworld, biting everything they see for no good reason, leaving confusion/misery in their wake
12. Powerful sorcerer on verge of (wildly incorrect) Darwin-like breakthrough catalogs Underworld finches via invisibility and night-vision binoculars, laden w/valuable/interesting gear, protected by ferocious bound demon, also invisible

Sunday, April 20, 2014

d12
1. Encysted sorcerer in final stage of metamorphosis into lich, would hate to be bothered at this sensitive time
2. Tremendous mosquito-thing tasked by forgotten gods to drink blood of currently popular deities upon completion of gestation
3. The Yolk of Resurrection, proper dosage unknown, overdose creates murderous abomination
4. Fetal demigod, half-man, half-dinosaur w/Armageddon-triggering agenda that must wait until conclusion of season of drunken carousing and attainment of full dino-size
5. Great flock of demon blackbirds, if released will fly to stratosphere and cause indefinite eclipse
6. Highly explosive, entirely unstable chemical fluid, enough to blow up a castle, must be handled with extreme care
7. 10,000 semi-intelligent poisonous serpents currently busy with cannibalizing one another but eager to expand ambitions
8. Inert reptilian Chrononaut floating in amniotic fluid w/helpful information from antediluvian lords re: imminent return of pre-human civilization
9. Dragon made entirely of smoke, speeds off to awaken alarming number of previously unknown dragons
10. Breaking shell reveals mystic portal to much more terrible campaign world
11. Huge telepathic infant tortoise with complete knowledge of world history, talent for predicting future events but only after feasting upon human flesh
12. Campaign world-threatening sentient storm compressed, imprisoned in semi-impervious shell by joint effort of recognized pantheon, more than ready to burst onto the scene

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THE PLUGGERY BELOW
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