I am someone who struggles with the healing process. In order to heal, you’re supposed to share your experience, your thoughts and feelings. Well, if I’m being honest, the thought of sharing any of those things makes me want to throw up. Even the idea of this Instagram account stresses me out. I am someone who will listen to your struggles, your deepest fears, and I will do whatever is in my power to help you. But I am unable to do the same for myself. I keep everything wrapped so tightly that people who’ve known me since grade school don’t even know that I don’t speak to my mother. I wear my coat of armor so well, my closest friends and loved ones often forget that everyday I’m fighting a war in my mind. They forget because even on the days where I’m losing the war in my head, I am unable to show it. I am unable to ask for help, I am unable to take off the encasing that started out as armor and has now become a prison. I began keeping everything inside when I was very young. I used it as a way to protect myself. You can’t hurt me if I don’t feel. You can’t hurt me if I don’t care. You can’t hurt me with the hateful things you say if I already believe them to be true. You can’t use my flaws against me if I do it myself. I used to make jokes out of it, my friends in high school called me ice queen, stone heart, alpha bitch. They celebrated my stoicism never knowing that complimenting my inability to feel only cemented my idea that it was what was best. That it made me strong. That it saved me. I was wrong. It doesn’t make me stronger, it makes my growth stunted, it didn’t protect me, it helped me do my abusers dirty work by ensuring I would never speak up. It wasn’t what was best for me, it was what was best for them. The fortress, the armor, the coat, they are all just chains that I fashioned to imprison myself unknowingly at the hands of the monsters who raised me. My mother manipulated me with those chains. She made me feel like I was only worth something when I was behaving like a feral dog on her leash. I was allowed to attack when she commanded, but never to bite the hand that fed me. And feed me she did, with backhanded compliments...

Make room for the right love to enter your life and heart. Be around those who celebrate you not those who just tolerate you. You are a Queen👑 Act like you lnkw and open that heart so that real love at every level can enter💞
If this is a struggle for you to do. Then sign for a FIERCE Love Audit with Me HERE: ☎️ http://bit.ly/2qd52jb

*A Child Of God*
I️ was too young
I️ thought you were my protector
The one singing me lullabies when I️ would cry.
But later on in life
I️ realized you try to hush away
The very tears that you have caused
And still cause.
You had a beautiful daughter in front of you
For 21 years she would try to do anything to earn your love.
Earn your love over money
Earn your love over another family
Until she learned love
Should not be earned
I️t should be unconditional.
That was the day your very own daughter woke up
When she started to counter act
The hurt from her very own father
With love from a different Father.
The love from Mother Father God
Because that is unconditional love.
The love that is always there
The nourishment
Encouragement
Never ending support
All outweighs this human called her “father”. As humans we give meanings
Expectations of other humans
Until the day
Your own human father
Could not possibly meet any of them
Is the day expectation is released
And I am set free *Deanna Marie* #awakenedempath#kindness#compassion#healyourself#healyourlife#healyourheart#healyourhurt#divinelove#divinefather#fathergod#divinelight

The Valentine's Day talk made page 2 of the local newspaper!!! Even had several people I didn't know approach me yesterday and ask if I was that guy who did the Forgiveness talk which was really cool!
I've found that pretty much everyone has thoughts and wisdom about the subject of Forgiveness. That's what makes talking about it so much fun (yes fun)... I always learn something!!! Looking for more venues now. Contact me to discuss 🙏
Always with love my friends ♥️

I am worthy of all the joy and love in the world. I am worthy to be seen and accepted fully for who I am. I am worthy of manifesting the life of my dreams. I am worthy of love. I am loved. I am love. I am that. 💙 (Repeat out loud to yourself everyday for the rest of your life. 🙏🏼) Sunset acro with @realyogidiehl was such a treat.

The newest member of the fam. 🎸🎶🎵
Should gave bought one long time ago. Playing guitar has so many great healthy benefits. Kids are psyched and I'm hoping they enjoy playing this for years to come. Now if I had only remembered to get one for a lefty since this one will be a challenge for me. 😑
#epiphoneguitars#keepkidsbusywithmusic#practiceyourpassion#healyourheart

Learning how to breath is key to control OCD thoughts. Those thoughts enter in your mind without permission disturbing the way you feel your blood pressure and even your sleep. DM me if you are interested to gain back control of your life. #thebreathingtechnique#karysteinberg#ocdawareness