Today feels like it’s going to be one of the worst days ever in my life. I’m terrified of today and want it very much to leave me the hell alone.

29 and alone = infinitely worse than 23 and alone or 26 and alone.

—

in the event that i’m not here
to finish this properly,
please make note of the following tasks
that remain to be done:

one guitar in a black case
needs to be sold
because i don’t play it anymore
(and even if i did,
someone probably needs the money)

one small pack of clove cigarettes
needs to be smoked
because they’re tested on animals
and having supported that by accident,
i don’t want to be wasteful

one friend’s small daughter
needs to be watched over;
i promised him once that i’d take care of her
and i try to keep my promises,
even if they’re clearly out there

one girlfriend needs to be called
i don’t know which one it will be
by the time you’re reading this,
but please find her and tell her
that i never trusted her as far as i could throw her,
though i still loved her dearly

also, please feed my cat;
he’s grumpy, but his fur is soft
and he purrs just when things have gone wrong
like