Saturday, May 30, 2009

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I'm sure there must be an absolutely fascinating back story to this, but I don't have it. It reminds me of that time eons ago when Christopher Lowell dressed up as a mermaid on his show, though - anyone remember that? (Wait, what am I saying? How could you forget something like that?)

Here's one for those of you celebrating the torrid love affair between your pet lobster and rubber ducky:

I would pick on the redundancy of "12 month anniversary", but frankly I'm more concerned over this being a stock design. Just how many people out there are encouraging relationships between their seafood and bath toys, anyway?

Or how about this gem from last St. Patrick's Day?

You're really giving me some mixed signals here, Mr. Rich Irish Carrot. I mean, first you offer me monetary incentive to kiss you, but then you go and look all horrified by my appearance. Ok, so maybe I don't look my best right now, but it's still kind of rude to shield your sensitive regions* with that coin. Now pucker up, blue-eyes, or I'll sic my Carrot Jockeys on you.

Anne J., Meaghan L., and Rabi W. & Thomas M., I'll give you a nickel if you write "Kiss Me, I'm a Cake Wrecks fan" on your forehead and photograph yourself in public. (Our advertising budget is up from "nonexistent" to "Whatever I've got in my pocket." So I could also offer you a half-used tube of Blistex. Any takers?)

*Wait a minute - this is a carrot. Isn't the whole thing a "sensitive region"?

The tragic part of the romance between bathtub duck and lobster is that the lobster can't visit the duck at its place lest it turn into a tasty dinner. Or maybe that's its shtick...like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

There's a series of videos on You Tube called 'Charlie the Unicorn'. In the third one, there's a song about how all of the sea creatures love him. I know, sounds corny, but at the end he finds the snowman and his missing kidney. Full of bizarre images and odd humor.

I have, in fact, met Christopher Lowell. When I saw on a billboard that he'd be at Huffman Koos, right at that moment, I told my mother to turn the car around, because we needed to go see the legend in person. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't dressed in women's clothing, but he was still unintentionally quite entertaining.

I would love to get the carrot cake for my Irish brother-in-law. Maybe he could decipher it?

You know... I've had the feeling, lately, that something was missing from my life and today, thanks to you, I finally figured out what it is... cakes with hair on them! Fake hair, of course, not real hair... I do still have my (low) standards.

If that's how the Irish carrot kisses I only have one question... is he single?!?!?

Hi-dee-ho! What amazing sights to wake up to! Now, then. I do not believe that there is such a being as a "merman" C'mon, face it! Guys are too, er, "fond" of their ("er" again)..."STUFF"...to be hiding it inside of what amounts to a scaly, legless pouch with fins attached. I do WANT believe that there IS such a thing as a fat-bellied- construction worker-eating WHOPPER of a fish; this one appears to be having a very hard time of getting his "catch" down...*gag*As for the duck/lobster affair (ain't love grand?), well...to beach his own...=^><^= *cough*I got a bigger boot outta the signage behind the ice cream cake. Did you see that? What the hell is "Aussie Vanilla" anyway? Vanilla with an unintelligible accent (like the ads for the "Outback STIKEhouse"?) And the "Mix-Ins"! "White Freddo Frog"? "Freckles"?? Better be obscenely yummy for almost $40 smackers..hate to think you're just paying for "cute."On to Mr. Carrot. All I can say is that the poor thing's sign ought to read,"PLEASE PUT ME OUT OF MY UGLY GAPING MISERY" instead of "Kiss Me."

Anonymous said... "Aussie Vanilla instead of French Vanilla maybe? (You know, when we went through that Freedom Fries stage?)"****************I'd forgotten about that one--good theory...in theory!My personal vanilla doesn't have an accent, so I don't know if it's PC or not. BTW, are we still *mad* at the French? I'm tired, and grudges get heavy after a while... =^~-^=

I think I can (maybe) explain the duck-lobster cake. Supposedly, both ducks and lobsters mate for life. (Or at least, geese supposedly do; I'm not sure about ducks but I'm guessing the designer thought so.)

So there you go. Animals that mate for life = subject matter for weird anniversary cakes.

I rather suspect that the Merbehr thing is a joke having to do with the cake giver's name (probably Mary, being called Mare all the time...my friend Mary actually gets called Mare-bear, kind of like Carebear...) Or his/her last name might be Behr. So you put it together...Mer being the prefix for sea-dwelling mythical creatures, and Bear actually referring to a large and hairy homosexual man. So you get a creature that is half merman, half bear. A Merbehr.

On a related note, this reminds me (in some incredibly jacked-up way) of something my ex-husband was discussing with his co-workers.

"I mean," he said, "it's like...If you saw a guy running down the street, naked, on fire, with a turtle hanging off his backside...What would be your first question??? Because you just KNOW there's a story there. SEVERAL stories, in fact---but which one do you ask him about first??"

("I'd put out the fire, first," I interjected, as he told me this story. "Well yeah," he admitted, "but I mean, after THAT.")

These cakes, to me, are the individual gastronomical equivalents of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside.

(wv: redrabbl. The low-budget bakery could only afford to hire the redrabbl of the culinary school; that's why their cakes are so wrecky.)

I'm guessing that two people nicknamed Ducky and Lobster (for his big hands?) had an anniversary. Either that or the images represent each one's distinctive interest. Something tells me that the stock design is meant to combine any of various images for such a purpose.

I think the duck/heart/lobster cake really means:Happy 12 Month Anniversaryto Ducky Love Crabby--Or--Happy 12 Month Anniversaryfrom DuckyLove Lobster, or Lobby, or CrabbyThat's my favorite, "Crabby" because we all know that the cake person was messed up anyway, so I think they thought the lobster was really a crab!JMHO--Sarah

@ Gladys:About the (weird but funny, by the way) story of the guy running naked down the street on fire with a turtle hanging off his backside... That image should be made into a CAKE!!! Heaven knows the Wreckorators are MORE than up to the challenge! And I had to think really hard--because it's fascinating, isn't it?--but I think my first question would be: "What kind of turtle is that?" Followed by: "Ick--it bit that burning guy's ass?" >^ee^<

Oh and my e-mail is margo.dillweed@gmail.com if you know where I can get that carrot cake for the graduation and if you know if they can do it for a babby shower too because its on the same day im pregnate

ahhhhhh.. christopher lowell. i loved that show back in the day. he has a new show on somewhere.... still with the uplights don't know if he still wants you to paint your kitchen counters to look like marble.....

It's also confusing that the "Irish" carrot is holding a coin bearing what looks like... the seal of the President of the United States? This is terribly confusing. I am in Ireland at the moment, and I can vouch that their coins do not, in fact, look like that. Nor do their carrots have bug-eyes.

This whole post makes my brain hurt.

Also, I think the mating-for-life explanation is correct on the second cake - it immediately made me think of a long-running joke on Friends where Phoebe always wanted to find her "lobster", because lobsters stayed together forever. It was very sweet, really.

My guess on the first one, as others' have said, is that its for a bear who likes to drag in mer-costume. Or is humorously being portrayed as a mermaid. It's a very popular combo here in New Orleans during Southern Decadence and Mardi Gras.

Here is my theory. It is mine and I made it:The duck/lobster cake is the result of somebody going to the bakery (or in this case, ice cream cakery) at the last minute. The duck, heart, and lobster are all separate stock cake decals (they all look like that edible printed stuff). Not finding any suitable stock cake designs, the purchaser picked two semi-random, although possibly personally significant images, put a heart between them, and called it an anniversary cake. Also, the "aussie vanilla" and the $40 price tag lead me to believe that this ice cream cakery may be in Australia.

My thoughts on the carrot cakes are that perhaps carrot cakes are their best sellers, and they didn't want to make a bunch of generic "yellow" holiday cakes that wouldn't sell, so they just decorated the carrot cakes. I like to imagine it was intended to be humorous, kind of like when we left the plastic rat Halloween decoration on our windowsill all the way until Christmas, and just put a tiny santa hat on it (my family is weird).

Gladys said "I mean," he said, "it's like...If you saw a guy running down the street, naked, on fire, with a turtle hanging off his backside...What would be your first question??? Because you just KNOW there's a story there. SEVERAL stories, in fact---but which one do you ask him about first??"

This sounds like the next Internet personality test meme. Somebody make it into an interactive quiz! Personally, I'd be most curious about the turtle. Naked and on fire are not quite SO bizarre. but the turtle really puts it over the top.

As the Wreckporter of the duck and lobster cake, I can shed a little light on it (well, not the lobster and duck). It's an icecream cake I found at an outlet of Cold Rock Ice Creamery. I don't know if the franchise exists outside of Australia, but they specialise in mixing bits of chocolate etc with ice cream on a cold rock. This cake was a display sample that had me and my boyfriend WTFing for a while, so we went back for a picture to send in to Jen. From what I can remember of this particular cake, it had about 3 kinds of chocolate and assorted lollies mixed in and was supposed to illustrate that you could have your own images- in relately high definition- on Cold Rock's cakes. I took the picture back in January of February and we never did work out the duck and lobster.

I kinda dig Merbehr. Not that he's hot or anything like that. Of course not.

Maybe the 12 month celebrators have nicknames for each other and the bakery stock images were simply very apt. Or maybe it's a weird fetish. Or maybe it just means to say that interspecies love is beautiful.

I'm sensing that the duck & lobster cake is an inside joke. I actually know a girl whose nickname is Lobster. She used to date a girl who's nickname is Squirrel. Perhaps the Lobster I know found love w/ a girl whose nickname is Duck? Can't help you on the 12 month anniversary, though.

I read the comments and didn't see this insight, so thought I'd post. I don't think the Merbehr is wearing a construction hard hat. Rather, I think it is a fisherman's yellow rain hat, that would match the yellow wet gear fishermen wear. Google "souwester rain hat" to see pictures of a real one ... ("souwester" for a fierce Atlantic storm).

Okay, let me say that I absolutely LOVE this site. Now, on to the matter at hand. I think that I may have an explanation for the carrot St. Paddy's Day cake. At St. Patrick's Day parades (or at the ones I attended in New Orleans) they throw cabbages, carrots and potatoes to the people watching. This does not, however, excuse the baker from using such an off the wall symbol for a cake!

bwahaha it makes sense that the merman would end up on here. our Merbear (cake people misspelled it) can only be described as a deity sent to us to help us become more comfortable with ourselves, among other things. he is very sensual creature; grab a patch of back hair and sink into the depths with him, for he will show you many wonders that were hidden inside you all along.it is a magic helmet he wears, he is a wet-nurse for seahorses, and he lactates sweet dr. pepper. many christmas ornaments, glass pieces, and food items have borne his likeness. i hope this helps lift the shroud of mystery a bit...

I wanted to laugh so hard at these, but I couldn't because it is late at night and i don't want to wake the house, seeing as I'm the last one up. So I make do with falling off my chair while trying to hold it in. (recovered composure)

the carrot with its sensitive regions covered reminded me of this photo i took years ago (totally not a cake, sorry) of a rather malformed carrot with a bit of an upgrade performed by a former co-worker.

I know this is an extremely old post, but the merman cake? I'm pretty sure it's in reference to these: http://www.diamondsofthesea.com/december-diamonds-merman-ornaments.aspx ornaments. My sister gives me one of these ornaments every year for Christmas. It started as a joke, but ended up being a tradition. I actually have a construction merman.... hanging on my tree right now.

"...but frankly I'm more concerned over this being a stock design. Just how many people out there are encouraging relationships between their seafood and bath toys, anyway?"

I laughed so hard I cried. It just makes no sense. And the carrot? What the!!!!!!!! Maybe a potato for the Irish but a carrot????? With a gaping maw for a mouth? Who made that and what drugs where they on?

WV: Powresso - When you're arrested by the whopping "POW" one of these cakes lets fly when it punches you right between the eyes!

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.