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My first book... what do you think

Death is inevitable, a simple fact that everyone is aware of. But I never thought that at 17 I would be staring death in the face. This last month has been hectic to say the least. First the break-up with Jason, the break-up that was so horrible I thought I would never recover. Then I lost my job, which amazingly enough also had something to do with Jason. A week after being fired I got into a terrifying car accident. Maybe luck was on my side that night because I walked away without a scratch and the driver of the other car didn’t make it. One good thing came out of it all though… I met him.

Daimon Turner…6’2", perfect, even tan over his gorgeous muscles and thick, beautiful blonde hair that when the sun hit it just right you could swear it was almost white. Hair so smooth you could barely control the urge to run your fingers through it. He kept it so long that you could barely see his eyes, sigh, and those eyes were so blue and so deep they burned into your soul when he looked at you. Daimon Turner came into my life at just the time I needed him. He was like my guardian angel sent to help me through all the bad things that were happening.

And yet, he is the reason that I am in this place facing my impending demise. I stood there trembling and crying but knowing that I wasn’t alone somehow made me feel at ease. If I was to die here and now, I was glad that Daimon was the one by my side. Maybe I should start from the beginning so you can fully understand the circumstances of how we got here and why we got here.

Chapter One- Not so Drama Free

6:45 a.m. and the alarm is buzzing. It’s time to get up, time for another day of school and work. School I don’t mind so much because I have Jason and my friends. And work, well I work because I need the money for college. My dad left when I was 2 and my mom has been raising me on her waitress salary ever since. But if I intend to go to college when I graduate I have to work almost all of my free time. "It’s our anniversary today, WOW 2 years!" I say to myself. I grab the anniversary card and gift for Jason from my desk and head out the door. My mom is already at work so I don’t have to eat breakfast. When she is home that’s the one thing she insists on. Mom’s what would you do without them? I pull into the parking lot and just my luck the only open spot seems to be the farthest from the school. "So it’s going to be one of those days?" I mutter under my breath. I get out and head for our spot, a set of picnic benches under the overhang of the school cafeteria.

And there he is… my Jason. We haven’t always had the best relationship but it’s getting better. Last year Jason cheated on me with my best friend Nicole. But he said it was a one-time thing and he wouldn’t do it again so we worked through it. He’s my first love, what could I do?

"Hey babe!" I yell when I get closer to the table. "Happy Anniversary, I got you something."

"Oh, umm…yeah, there’s something we need to talk about Madison," he says and then looks down to shuffle his feet. Something’s wrong I can tell by the way that he’s acting. Usually he hugs me and the first thing he says is "I love you" now it’s "we need to talk".

He doesn’t seem to want to look at me he just keeps staring at his shoes. I am the first to break the silence. "Did you cheat on me again? You acted like this the last time and now you won’t even look at me." I fight to hold in the tears that are suddenly making my eyesight fuzzy. How can this be happening, on our anniversary of all days?

"It’s Nicole. I love her; I want to be with her. She makes me laugh, she likes the same things I do and let’s face it, she doesn’t put work before our relationship."

"Nicole? You have to be kidding me. You said it was a one-time thing. So have you been sneaking around with her this whole year?" I ask as I fight to maintain some control.

"Madison I love her. We haven’t been sneaking around, everyone knows we are a couple now. You have just been to blind to see what was going on around you. Or maybe you are just so wrapped up in your work you didn’t notice."

That was a low blow, he knows why I work so much. Why is he doing this? What does he mean everyone already knows they are a couple? I take a few deep breaths to compose myself before I break down in front of him completely.

"To blind? T-to blind?" I stutter. "You have been sneaking around cheating on me and somehow you have managed to make me the bad guy. I work too much, I have been blind. Maybe I just trusted you too much when you said it was a one-time thing and you wanted to be with me forever! Were those just meaningless words to you?" I yell at him, a few students are gathering around to see what is going on.

"You are making a scene. Can’t you just accept this and move on with your life?" Jason yells back. "We never were a real couple, you spent too much time working for us to even be a couple!"

Deep breaths… count to 3, don’t let him see you cry. Don’t give him the satisfaction. "I’m supposed to accept this? Accept that my boyfriend of two years TODAY is breaking up with me for my ex-best friend. A girl he has been cheating on me with for over a year! Let me think about it…um… NO! I won’t accept it! How could you do this Jason?" I can feel the tears building up in my eyes but they have yet to spill over and betray me.

Jason finally looks up from his shoes and stares right into my eyes. "Don’t make this harder than it has to be please. Just let it be and let me be happy." With those final heartbreaking words Jason turned to walk towards the direction of his class.

I didn’t even go to class; I turned and headed for the parking lot before I could break down completely. I spent the rest of the day crying in my bed. I knew I had to get up and start getting ready for work but I just wouldn’t seem to make myself get up. Eventually I was able to get a grip on myself and made it to work with only 5 minutes to spare. I clocked in and started cleaning the counter. I work at the local movie theater so there is always something to do, which right now I guess that’s a good thing. It was helping me keep my mind off of the day I just had. I spend the rest of the work night in a daze, not really paying attention to what was going on around me.

I went back to school the next day of course because missing one day was enough for me. I didn’t want to get behind on my schoolwork. If I didn’t have Jason at least I could still get good grades, work hard and go to college. Apparently there were other plans for my life because on day 4 after the dreaded breakup I was thrown over the edge.

I went to work that night and started making some fresh popcorn. A co-worker and friend of mine, Britney walked in and started cleaning the counter next to me. I knew she was trying to figure out what to say to me. I have been a bit emotional these last few days and every little thing seems to make me cry. I decided to break the ice first.

"Good afternoon Britney." I said. I know, not very original but I had to say something. It seemed to be the right thing because she smiled at me and began to talk.

"Hey Madison, it is a good day today isn’t it? How are you doing today?" Her gaze let me know she was talking about the breakup again. She had those hopeful eyes that seem to say "please say you are fine and you are over that guy", I wish I could have given her the answer she wanted.

I looked away, pretending to focus on the popcorn. I didn’t want her to see that my heart was still aching. "It’s been four days. I am doing a little better but it’s still a touchy subject."

She cleared her throat so I knew she understood that I didn’t want to talk about it. "Well that’s good. Are you working this weekend?" she asked.

I knew she was only making small talk to try and change the subject so I answered her. "Of course, you know I work every weekend. I need to work as much as possible if I ever plan to get out of this town."

She let out a low chuckle; "I don’t blame you. Get out while you can. I said I was leaving after I finished high school and a year later I am still here." Everything she said after that became a fuzzy, they seemed to blend into the background. She hadn’t noticed what I was looking at yet. While Britney was talking about leaving and starting a new life a sight across the room caught my attention.

Jason and Nicole were walking in hand in hand, sharing a coke and looking all lovey-dovey. And I guess, maybe just maybe, I had had a few too many shocks for the week because something in me snapped. I lunged across the counter and starting hitting Miss Nicole. Usually I am not a violent person; I am the one who avoids confrontation at all costs, yet here I am breaking all my rules. I don’t remember much after the first hit; everything seemed to turn a fuzzy shade of red for me. I do remember Britney yelling something at me and I thought I heard her yell at Jason but who knows. And next thing I know Jason is pulling me off of her and I am sitting in my boss, Mr. Richard’s, office.

He was pacing around behind his desk. I knew what was coming. "Madison you are my best employee. You work hard, and you always work when I need you. You even come in early to help out. But regardless, I can’t condone violence in my business. I am very sorry."

I know hitting Nicole wasn’t worth everything I’ve worked for. And quite honestly it didn’t even make me feel better. I don’t usually act on impulse like that but something in me snapped. Everything I have worked for was riding on that job and now I that was gone. I didn’t want to go home after work but I needed to curl up into a ball and spend the next week in bed so I headed up my front steps to face my mom. In my head I knew she would actually be happy because she didn’t like how my life was my job and I needed time to be a "teenager" but she knows as well as I do that without that job college would be out of the question. She was sitting on the couch when I walked through the front door.

"Britney called, do you want to talk? Please tell me what you were thinking Madison. Explain to me why Jason had to pull you off of Nicole." She caught my eyes and I could tell she was worried, but there was something else in them. Did she look happy? Was she happy that I got fired for hitting Nicole?

I sighed, "Britney has a big mouth. I wasn’t thinking mom. I thought things were getting better. I was taking it day by day. I wasn’t hurting less; the pain was just a dull ache. When I saw them there spending time together the way we should have been, that dull ache turned into a fire and next thing I knew I was hitting her. I am so sorry mom, I know how disappointed you must be." I sat down on the couch next to her and put my head on one of the pillows. "I can’t even explain what I was even thinking. One minute Britney and I were talking and the next everything in my vision turns a funny shade of red. I knew they were together and going to the movies is an obvious dating place, I just didn’t think it would bother me so much." By then I knew I was rambling and I knew my mom was just letting me get it out of my system. "I am so sorry mom, please don’t be mad at me."

"Madison Elizabeth, I am just upset that you didn’t tell me why you and Jason really broke up. I didn’t know he was cheating and with Nicole. I just thought you guys were growing apart because you were working so much. I know how you are felling sweetheart. Trust me I have had my fair share of cheating boyfriends. But believe me when I tell you, someday you will find someone who is there for you when you need them to be. You will find him, and when you do he would give his life for yours." She stood and kissed my forehead. Then she turned and walked to her room for the night. I followed right behind her to my bedroom.

Lying in bed that night I couldn’t get what my mom said out of my head. "You will find him, and when you do he would give his life for yours". Could there really be such a guy? A man, who would put me above everything else in his life, I don’t think it’s possible. I’ve never met a guy like that, even my own father chose himself over my mother and I. I wonder if I would ever find a guy who could love me unconditionally. Is there even a guy out there like that? I continued to ponder the idea as I dozed into a deep sleep. That night I dreamed about him, about the man I didn’t think could exist.

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