Thursday, December 13, 2007

It's been awhile since I've talked about these certain kind of things, hasn't it? Well, let's start another lesson. This one shall be the "Law of Attraction." It's quite simple to understand. The principle of Law of Attraction is that you attract into your life whatever you think about. A person's thoughts (conscious or unconscious), emotions, beliefs, and actions attract similar experiences. Therefore, negative feelings attract negative experiences and positive feelings attract positive experiences.For example, you're studying for an exam which takes up 50% of your final grade and you think, "I'm never going to be able to remember this. It's just too hard. I'm going to fail, fail, fail! There's no way I'm going to be able to answer even one question right!" Well, that, of course, is a negative way of perceiving things, and what do those negatives emotions do? Attract negative results.Here's another example: You're driving down the highway and suddenly a car cuts in front of you. You look in your rear view mirror and, of course, there's not one car behind you for miles. Well, you keep driving, fuming, fuming, and still fuming, thinking all the while, "Why do people cut in front of me? Can't they ever wait? What's wrong with them!?" Well, while you're focusing on the negative and thinking that, you're attracting negative energies. What the Universe (my version of a Higher Power) is hearing is "People cut in front of me... cut in front... cut in front... cut in front..." so it goes, "All right, if that's what you want, you got it!"Now, it isn't doing this to you on purpose, it's what it thinks you want.Or how about when you're driving through a immense city, and there are stoplights on every block. You think, "Please don't turn red... don't turn red... don't turn red..." Well, of course, what is the Universe hearing? "Turn red, turn red, turn red!" So the light does. Sick of that happening to you? I have something new for you to try as an alternative. Instead of thinking, "Don't turn red," think, "Stay green... stay green... stay green!" over and over again. Trust me, nine times out of ten, it works. I've been there, done that, and I'mstill doing it!When you say (or think it) "stay green", what you're really doing is being positive, saying what you do want, instead of what you don't want. Try to stay away from using words such as, "No, stop, never, can't, won't, and don't." Basically any word that in some way means "no". By saying these things, you're resisting what you DO want. Keep that in mind.The same thing goes with your emotions, not just your thoughts. You feel sad, depressed, or despair and what happens? Things that are depressing and sad surround you, forcing you deeper into that swirling vortex. Now, if you're happy, feeling as if nothing could go wrong--usually nothing will. If you surround yourself with good feelings, you'll find that good things will come to you openly. For example, you find $50 tucked away in an old purse, or something pops up, like a free ticket to a concert. Like I said earlier, "Negative feelings attract negative experiences and positive feelings attract positive experiences." They also attract negative and positive energies, and people--living and dead.Now I've explained the basics of what I want to talk about. Yes, it's another one of my experiences. Last night, many things happened to me, and the one thing that tipped me over into a negative abyss, was my father. Now, he has to have control over everyone around him. Well, he lost that a long time ago with me. And in desperation, he latched onto the one thing that would give him control which I will not go into right now. Needless to say, when I was talking to him, he used his manipulative ways to try and get his grip into me. He wants to leave me hanging, so that I'll be dependent on talking to him, but he'll only talk when he wants to talk and'll avoid my calls, giving him control of the situation. Well, that ended almost immediately. I told him that enough was enough and that if whatever he was doing was more important than his only daughter, then I didn't need to talk to him.And, again, it's needless to say that this experience left me in a negative mood the rest of the night. Well, to cut a long story short, my negative emotions were spilling over and attracting negative responses, and this time, negative entities. Late last night, when I had finally started falling asleep, I started hearing a sound like nothing I had ever heard before. It was a low growling sound, nothing like a cat's, dog's, or any other animal. It was an unique and unnerving experience. Less than a moment later, indiscernible whispers filled my room. I could identity three different voices that seemed to come from everywhere.These noises kept me awake for over an hour until, frightened or not, I could no longer keep my eyes open, and fell into a fitful sleep. These sounds persisted even though I had turned my light on--the first time in weeks--which is odd, because the things I see or hear or sense usually disappear the moment a light comes on. I can only theorize what those voices were saying, and if they were there to protect me against whatever was growling, or vice versa. I can only guess. That will have to satisfy me for now.I don't want to spread panic. People, please understand... this does not always happen. Sometimes even I--a psychic person--after having a really bad day, do not experience anything supernatural, negative or otherwise. Do not instantly assume that if you have a bad day, bad things (including supernatural experiences) will happen to you. More likely than not, nothing will happen. These are just my experiences, remember that.And on that note, it's time for me to go. I'll add more to this topic later, there's so much more I need to say but for right now, my time has run out.

Right now, if I had some rope, I'd hang myself. But I'm so broke I can't even afford some thread, let alone rope. I'm so broke, that Christmas has literally been cancelled. Yup, you heard that right; no Christmas. I'm not talking about not getting presents, fuck that! I'm talking about having enough money to drive down and see my family, or put up a Christmas tree, or even decorate the house. That's how broke I am. And here I go on another rant...I've made jewelry for as long as I can remember. By now, I have at least 75 pairs of earrings including several sets, along with bracelets, and anklets. They're reasonably priced. I think the highest price I have is $25 and the lowest is $5. I make jewelry and sell them at reasonable prices so everyone can buy them, not just a select rich few.I have one problem, though. I have to find someplace to sell them!!! I could make a great deal of money selling them on campus, but, of course, they won't let a student--ME!--sell my jewelry on Campus property. You know what they asked me?: "Are you selling this for a club?"The minute I said, "No, it's to pay my bills," they shook their heads and said no. Oh, I understand what they were saying, loud and clear. "If you're not bringing money into the campus, just making money for yourself, regardless if you're just trying to make it through the month, you can't sell your jewelry here." That's the reason they won't let me sell my jewelry here. Because I'm the one making the money, and they're not getting a percentage. Whatever I make is not going into their school funds.Why should've I expected anything less?People, organizations, foundations, everyone is just looking to make some cash--just looking out for numero uno. Yup, if they don't get a percentage, or all of it, then they could give a shit about you. It doesn't matter to them that you're struggling to get through the month, that you have enough food to eat, or enough gas to get back and forth to college. Why should they? You mean nothing to them. You're just a pebble in their shoe. They'd be better off with you gone anyways.Integrity and decency and compassion have gone down the tubes. Cruelty, greed, and indifference have spread until there's nowhere left to go. Not even shadows can give you shelter now; you're on your own.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Things are so out of hand lately and I'm wondering how to get everything together. It's a chore, I readily admit, that I'm not sure I want to do. And on top of it all, finals are a little over a week away, making me want to clap my hands to my face and scream like the kid did in Home Alone.My life is so stressful right now, that I'm close to having a hysterical breakdown. Less than a week ago, a doe jumped out right in front of my car. I had less than a fraction of a second to react and of course, what happened? I hit the deer. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel bad about killing Bambi's mum, but I also feel bad about my car! I already owe my mechanic $420 for fixing my brakes. $315 of that is labor. C'mon, are you fucking kidding me??? No way in hell should labor cost that much!!!And to top it all off, I just found out that my insurance company doesn't cover hitting a deer, or my medical bills if I had gotten seriously hurt, which, thankfully, didn't happen. No, they only cover the bills if I get in an accident with another car. My mum, brother, and I all have the same insurance, and some coverage—or so we thought. My brother hit a deer a couple of months ago while he was driving my mum's car, and he was covered—or rather, my mum's car was covered. Now, totally broke, I've literally been fucked over. The insurance company insists that I don't have that coverage, and never had—that isn't what they said before! Just great! My mechanic won't work on my car until I pay off that $420 dollars—which I don't have—so now I'm driving around with my passenger side all fucked up; the lights are smashed, the hood bent pretty bad, and the roof dented from where Bambi's mum landed after being tossed into the air. Well, my mum received almost a thousand dollars to fix her car and her car wasn't nearly as fucked up as mine is! So, I'm looking at nearly $1,500 in damage not including the $420 I already owe.And here's the good part, I have college classes every single fucking day of the week and don't get home until around 6:00. Well, of course this had to happen during winter where it gets dark at 4:00 and that's if I'm lucky! This means I'm driving around with a headlight out, and that my blinkers on the right side of my car don't blink, so people don't know that I'm making a turn or switching lanes. Two very bad things that cops love to sniff out and write tickets for, especially when it's dark out!This world is filled with bloodsuckers, searching for their next score, wondering who to cheat next. Yup, they come up with their little schemes, smiling slyly in your face, one foot in your door while their hands are reaching into the cookie jar. They suck you dry and when you're finally broke, and struggling to make it through the week, let alone the month, they grin, and yipping like a hyena, leave you there, broken and shattered while they make off with your hard-earned, sweat-soaked life-blood in their hands.Isn't life just dandy?

About Me

I write poems, short stories, articles, novels--you name it, I write it. I also make jewelry in my free time. I'm a closet photographer; I take snapshots of just about everywhere I go. I'm an avid Geologist, Meteorologist, and most of all, Climatologist. Yes, people, Global Warming IS real! And I really love to sing and dance--neither in the shower.
I'm a real outdoors person. I love to camp, canoe, hike, (all 3 include portaging!) rock climb, and sail.
I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs and I refuse to be intimidated into doing any of those things. I'm outspoken and unafraid to let others know how I feel about a certain situation. I say what's on my mind and state the obvious, if the occasion calls for it.
Like everyone else, there's times I need to lay back and relax. To do that I listen to calming music and meditate.
All in all, I'd describe myself as observant, outgoing, down-to-earth, adventurous, independent, courageous, friendly with a wicked sense of humor, and I'm always ready to lend a helping hand or cheer someone up. If you need to talk, I'm there to listen.