Single White Merc ISO Partner for Missions

The chaos has only just begun for this 10 megaton bachelor with his love of tactical gear and parachuting. For the most part, he’s a sullen loner and you can often spot him sporting his favorite fashion accessory: a good old-fashioned hangman’s noose

He’s got a plan and the means to deliver. There’s a whole “war room” set up in his apartment dedicated to this very specific plan.

And he wants to deliver it all, full force, to you as you look him dead in the eyes.

Are you person enough to handle this pocket-sized man with his super-sized, alt-ambitions? Will you be able to engage his senses and thwart his surprise attacks? Do you have the strength or intensity to back his life up with your own when the chips are really down, about every other month or so?

Do you like sharing spooky stories and roasting Ballpark Bun-Sized Franks over blistering corporate infernos? Do you long for someone to scale CitiBank headquarters with as you enact the most daring move of your life?

Race or sex is not important, however, for baseline consideration, applicant MUST be in TOP PHYSICAL SHAPE, exhibit some survivalist instinct and competency as well as be able to successfully complete his customized 5k obstacle course. Fondness for black apparel, NODs, sap gloves and bumpfire is a must.