Opinion: Return of the Bradysaurus

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In a laboratory at Illinois State University, geneticists are attempting to reanimate a creature that was believed to have gone extinct in 2010: the Bradysaurus.

Republican state Sen. Bill Brady, a politician whose Jurassic views on economics and the role of the female sex were last current in 150,000,000 B.C., is considering another run for governor. Because he came so close to not fumbling away a sure thing last time. After leading in almost every pre-election poll, Brady only lost by 32,000 votes to Gov. Pat Quinn, whose approval rating was under 40 percent. He also won 98 of the state’s 102 counties.

Therefore, Brady believes he deserves another shot, especially because his nemesis, Quinn, has fallen even further in public esteem, registering the lowest approval ratings of any governor in America.

Brady’s hometown radio station, WJBC (“The Voice of Central Illinois”) reports that the senator has “sent out an official note asking supporters if he should run for governor again and to donate to his campaign.”

"I am now asked every day whether I will run for Governor again in 2014, and I want you to know that Nancy, my campaign and I are laying the groundwork to finish the job we started together three years ago," Brady wrote in an e-mail to supporters called, 'A Note from Bill.'

Brady beat out six other Republican candidates for governor in the 2010 Republican Primary, but lost the General Election to Democrat Pat Quinn.

"People are hurting, they're looking to get advice," Brady said. "Hundreds, if not thousands, have asked me to finish the job we started, and as we begin laying the groundwork, we're looking for the input from the people I'm looking to represent as governor."

The world has moved on since 150,000,000 B.C. It has also moved on since 2010. Then, Brady won the Republican primary because he was the only Downstate candidate running against a host of rivals from DuPage County. This time, he may be running against Rep. Aaron Schock of Peoria and State Treasurer Dan Rutherford of Chenoa -- highly-evolved mammals from towns within 30 miles of Bloomington. He’d lose to either of them. And then the Bradysaurus will against only in a museum of extinct politicians at the Abraham Lincoln Library.