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Hell Hath no Fury like a Four Year Old…

My tiny human will be turning 4 in November and she already started this ‘behaviour’ a few weeks ago so wish me luck, and keep me a spot in the corner where I can rock myself while wiping drool aka crazy froth from my mouth…

Yes – I am TOTALLY blog stealing again but when I read this I nearly hugged the laptop in sheer relief … so it ISN’T me, it ISN’T just Phoenix and it ISN’T my failure as parent …

Warning: Parents that think their one-year old is just the sweetest thing under the sun … watch out *dun-dun-duuuuuun*

The F#%¥ing Fours!

God grant me the serenity to accept my four-year old,

The courage to deal with the tantrums

And the wisdom to know which battle to choose

No doubt you’ve heard about the terrible twos. Some of you might even have experienced it or are going through it at the moment.

But let me tell you about the f#%^ing fours. I’ve recently mentioned to a few people that Phoenix* is a ‘little’ unmanageable at the moment, at the age of four, and they’ve all agreed that hell hath no fury like a four-year old.

Not too many people talk about it because it’s as if your sweet child has been replaced by a doppelgänger. It’s scary and it’s horrible and it’s like having satan’s spawn in the house.

Two was a manageable age. Temper tantrums were ‘easy’ and disciplining was a walk in the park. Dealing with a feisty four-year old is similar to a terrifying run in the woods, late at night with shadows and sounds and a haunted house your only refuge.

I’ve been told by my daughter, when I’ve said no to something, that she will no longer be my child. She now says things like ‘if you let me do so and so I’ll love you more’ and ‘if you don’t let me do so and so I’m not going to give you cuddles’ not excluding ‘you are NOT my friend’ and ‘you are NOT coming to my party.’

She has muttered under her breath ‘you’re stupid’ when she’s been reprimanded for something and made a gruffled throat sound when asked to repeat what she just said. She has the sleeping habits of a teenager as well as the angst ridden existence of one. She slams doors (though it occasionally backfires when she needs to ask one of us to open the door for her cos the handle is stuck).

She tells us to leave her alone and shouts NO if asked to do something. She defiantly stares you down at times or rolls her eyes so far into he back of her head it looks as though she’s been possessed.

Phoenix* will ask a question and then argue with the answer or she just disagrees with everything I say. She pushes buttons I didn’t even know I had. And she does it on purpose.

I understand it’s a phase and I’m doing everything I can to manage it the best way I know. But sometimes that haunted house at the end of the scary woods seems like a great getaway.