Monsters, Jokes, Analogies

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Music Video Film School: “Mr. Saxobeat” by Alexandra Stan

We open on a busy police station. The officers and detectives are all at work, when, after a few seconds, Alexandra Stan and her cohorts, a black girl and a Latina, are brought in, held by guys wearing aviators, which I imagine is some kind of standard police dress protocol. The girls are also dressed alike, seemingly part of the same gang that Sandy joined at the end of Grease. These are dangerous women. We know this because they’re wearing fingerless gloves.

Alexandra is questioned by the bald detective, and she treats it all very casually. Alexandra even teases one of the detectives by stroking his chin. He doesn’t give into her advances though, which, as you will see later, is the only time an employee of this particular precinct shows any kind of restraint when faced with leather and breasts. This scene is intercut with shots of Alexandra dancing in a hallway somewhere else in the station. While the interrogation room sequence is reality, the hallway dancing is all fantasy, showing that, while you can cage Alexandra Stan’s body, you can never trap her freedom or her mmm yaeaah.

The black girl and the Latina are questioned next, and they show the same disrespect for authority that Alexandra did. The Latina even fans herself with a folder filled with arrest reports. Those are official police documents, lady! How bad are these people? Having had enough of the three ladies and their lack of concern for a criminal investigation, the detectives have them removed from the room, but only after one of the detectives angrily swipes his hand across the desks, knocking papers wildly to the floor, sign language for “Fuck this and whatever we’re supposed to be doing.”

The three girls are taken to and locked in a cell. Alexandra’s partners immediately go to the bed, exhausted from a hard day of ignoring laws and showing disdain towards questions. The Latina even makes a hand gesture to indicate that she is distressed over how they are being treated. Look, honey. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

Alexandra stays at the bars however, taunting the one security guard left to watch over her. The security guard tries to maintain composure, but he obviously lusts after her. The baton he twirls is an overt phallic symbol, so much so that he could have furiously masturbated at the camera and it would’ve been more subtle. Soon, he gives in and walks up to Alexandra, turning his back to her, preparing to forget his wife and unborn child. This is a trap though, and Alexandra grabs his gun and forces him into the cell.

During this time, we also see the aftermath of the entire “Alexandra is arrested” storyline where Alexandra and her friends dance in some alley, dressed in police attire. This is a weird scene though, as usually, during a song, the dancers will at least make an attempt to either a) dance to the beat of the music or b) choreograph their moves in some sort of unison. These girls do neither of those things. They dance like someone told them not to and it’s because of this that we realize why they were locked up in the first place. You can’t have people dancing this badly out on the streets. Mr. Saxobeat is like a musical episode of The Wire, where Alexandra Stan plays the role of Omar and the drug trade has been replaced by women who dance so terribly that seizure victims watch them for tips on how to calm down.

Alexandra and her friends, having escaped the cell, steal some uniforms, and hold the police chief and other high ranking officers at gunpoint. The police chief doesn’t seem too concerned about a pop singer pointing a gun at his head, as he stays on the phone the entire time, probably saying something like “And then I told the guy, look, you can’t just go around selling telephones like that and…hold on…boobs just came in…”

Alexandra’s gang leaves the now tape bound people in the room, and they makes their way out of police headquarters, as everyone works obliviously around them. This is a surprising fact, considering that logically, someone would remember Detective Cleavage and Deputy Didn’t We Just Arrest Her 1 and 2. Nonetheless, the girls make their escape into the night and the cycle that transforms innocents into victims of the street continues.