Ron Perlman is, to put it charitably, not the handsomest man in the world. He has what doctor’s refer to as a bad case of the monkey face, which may be partly why you normally see him all covered up with makeup and masks and prosthetics in roles like Hellboy or the Beast from the TV version of Beauty and the Beast (remember that show? it was weird). By the way, can we start getting Cam Gigandet some mask roles yet? Anyway, Perlman plays “Phyllis” in 3,2,1… Frankie Go Boom, and I may have to take a good long rape shower after watching the trailer. A scream into a pillow, a puke in the sink, a good long shower – the full Crying Game. Only worse, because at least that dude was hot.

Oh, and side note, you know what’s a great way to keep people from seeing your movie? Give it an obnoxious title that makes me feel like a three-year-old if I say it out loud. “Hey, you bros want to see this new movie? It’s really great, it’s called ‘Fuzzy Wuzzy Pee Pee Fufu.'”

Frank Bartlett (Charlie Hunnam, SONS OF ANARCHY) has been tortured, embarrassed and humiliated by his brother Bruce (Chris O’Dowd, BRIDESMAIDS)–usually on film–his entire life. Now that Bruce is finally off drugs and has turned his life around, things should be different. They are not. [Apple]

More importantly, it has Chris “Eyebrows” Noth, and Lizzy Caplan from Mean Girls/Party Down, who should be getting waaay more work. I’ve included a screencap of her in her bikini top to help cleanse your mind of Ron Girlman up there. Frankie Go Boom hits theaters in October, and between the puking pig, the home made porno, the car in the pool, the prominent RECORD SCRATCH sound effect, the old man biting Charlie Hunnam’s ankle, and Ron Perlman in drag, I get the sense that it miiight be kind of quirky.

You lead with the Perlman nightmare fuel banner pic and close with Lizzy Caplan in (what appears to be) a candy bikini? I pray the world never sees Vince Mancini get his sausage-hands on the weather dominator – this man is a real life supervillain

What, you’d rather start the post with Ms Caplan in edible underwear, and as your mind happily wanders and your non-mouse-hand gets to work, you scroll down and find yourself looking at Perlman in drag?

What the fuck, dude? “At least that guy was hot”? Oh, ok, good rape joke! Hilarious. Because it totally makes a difference if the guy doing the raping isn’t ugly as fuck. I’m sure plenty of women would agree with you. And I honestly don’t care that my comment won’t be taken seriously, I’m glad I can have my say. I know this is a very male-centric blog, but damn. You’re not neanderthals, are you?

Have you seen The Crying Game? It isn’t about rape. A guy has a consensual sexual relationship with a person he later finds out is a transvestite, who still has a penis. No rape, I was simply pointing out that the guy from The Crying Game is a more attractive transvestite than Ron Perlman.

Omfg. I don’t even have the excuse that I didn’t see The Crying Game, because I did. I brainfarted after reading “rape shower”.
Note to self; being beside the point will indeed not get me taken seriously.

I respect you 1000% for saying “Oh, right, I misread that.” I hate when someone misinterprets something I wrote, then gives me shit for it, then I explain, and they just say “YEAH, BUT STILL.” We all misread shit from time to time, it’s the people that dig their heels in that kill me.