RATINGS

Chernobyl Diaries [2012]

Told you I’d be reviewing crappy movies this month. Case in point, “Chernobyl Diaries”, a truly dreadful horror movie from the creator of the “Paranormal Activity” franchise (not again!). On the surface, you’d think this is yet another “found-footage” film, when in fact it’s not. But it has enough shaky camera scenes and lousy “boo” moments to make you beg for it to end. Luckily for us, the movie is only 80 minutes long, so in a way, that is a great relief. Plot-wise, not much to tell really: a group of American tourists sign up for an “extreme tourism” adventure to Pripyat, a Ukrainian city that was built to house Chernobyl nuclear power plant employees. The city is now abandoned following the catastrophic nuclear accident. So why aren’t they alone? Sounds exciting right? Not really. Considering there’s not one scary moment in this truly underdeveloped horror film, it became obvious to me where the story was heading, perhaps a bit too clear. Let me put it this way: it sucks. Dialogue? sucks. Acting? sucks. Even the camera seemed to focus on unnecessary things just to mislead us from the real action. How the hell is that supposed to make it more exciting? Yes it would make sense if it were a “found-footage” film. But it’s not! Worse, the movie raises too many questions. Was that the filmmaker’s intention? Don’t scratch your head too hard, because the movie doesn’t seem to know or care.