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This script is for Friday, June 18th's episode and footageis due by Friday June 11th (since we have such a head-start).As always, the challenge goes out to all of our musically-inclined friends: compose a 20 second song with a "throat clearing" theme and the best two tunes will be featured in the episode.

TECHNICAL NOTES: Please submit your footage to krumbine (at) me (dot) com by way of either yousendit.com or blip.tv, or any other kind of file storage medium you have access to. If you need any help or have any questions, leave a comment below and we'll help you out as quickly as possible. If you are unable to record decent quality audio and video, this collab is not for you!

Read the script and watch the directorial video after the break!

WEBCAMS (13) -- All About Lesbians written by Krumbine

CHARACTERS

A - male B - male C - female D - female

TITLES

A Very simply, all women are lesbians.

B What?

C Lesbians?

D Hey!

C Um, that's a little offensive.

B Offensive?

A Which part?

C The part about all women being lesbians!

B Really?

A Nah, I don't think so.

D No, it's offensive. Very offensive.

C What the hell are you talking about?

D I'm talking about it being an offensive statement.

C I'm the lesbian! I'm the one offended by it.

D Uh, last time I checked, I'm still a woman. And I'm allowed to be offended by anything I want.

C See? See?! This is what happens!

B Hey.

A Yeah?

B This is SO awesome!

C Homosexuality has gone so mainstream that you straight people are flat-out stealing it from us!

D Oh, that is ridiculous. I'm not stealing anything.

C You're stealing my opportunity and reasons for being offended!

D There's no reason why we can't both be offended!

C Yes, yes there is. I'm gay AND YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS.

B Is there anything in your all-women-are-lesbians theory that states all women are crazy?

A You need a theory to figure that one out?

B Point.

D You know what? Fine. I don't want to be lumped into the same category as you anyhow.

C EXCUSE ME? Lumped into the same category?!

D Oh, I didn't mean it to sound like that!

C Well just how homophobic did you mean it to sound?!

A Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to be able to explain my theory?

B I'm listening to you.

C You don't know the first thing about being a lesbian!

A Who, me?!

C No, her!

D You don't know the first thing about being a WOMAN!

A Me?

D HER!

C Oh, you did NOT just go there!

A LADIES!

B If this were a movie, they'd start losing their clothes in a fight right now. And then they'd start kissing.

A Because all women are lesbians.

B Even the straight ones.

C Okay, I've had just about enough of you assholes.

B What did we do?

C What did you NOT do?? You're completely trivializing the significance of being homosexual!