Member Questions

As a working mom, do you ever feel like you're failing in some aspect of your life?”

31 replies so far...

Everyone; mom or not feels like a failure in some aspect of their life....we are created imperfect so of course we all fail at something. It is just to keep working at the failure and improve on what we can in that area.

Wow, so many of us have had too many moments of feeling like failures. It is difficult to balance life. I like what Mandy said about putting things into perspective. I struggle because I take on too much...that's for sure. I'm going to stay positive like her and move forward.

Sometimes, a feeling of failure is due to my own unrealistic expectations. I have Type-A tendencies. As a result, I battle that feeling often - even when I'm succeeding! My son is now 18 months, so as I've gained experience and confidence as a mother, I've come to terms with what is "good enough" when dealing with what's on my plate. If it's not related to a human (my husband, my son, myself), then it can be completed in a "good enough" manner. I'd never admit that to work, of course.

That said, since I'm a borderline perfectionist anyway, my good enough is often someone else's great. I just need to remind myself that I'm doing the best I can, and the stress I experience is due to the pressure I put on myself. At the end of the day, it all works out.

I feel that way all the time. I don't get to go and volunteer in my son's classroom, we don't get to do certain after-school activities, he doesn't get to ride the bus home every day, and instead has to stay for after-school care. I also feel guilty when I choose to sit down and read for a while rather than play with my son. I'm a teacher, so when I get home from work, all I want is quiet, and to not have to talk for a while. That's hard, because my son wants to share every minute detail of his day, and wants me to play with him. Trying to do that, keep up with the house, and taking time for myself all at the same time is something that I feel I am failing at miserably.

I would not call it "failure." I do so much in both my role as a Mom and as an employee but am sometimes left feeling that I do not perform really well in either. The reality is that there is no such thing as "balance." We all strive for it and that's very important. But it is usually the case that when we are giving our all to one of our roles, the other roles suffer. It's important to accept that and to be kind to yourself. I am learning to be easier on myself and I am finding that it's extremely liberating.

I don't know that failure is the right term. I often feel like I'm not giving my best to any one area of my life, but I sure do try. I think it's important for us to give ourselves a break and realize that we cannot be everything to everyone. Take shortcuts (like buying premade meals or hiring a housecleaner) so that you can spend quality time with the ones you love or focus on an important career-advancing project. I think it's really important to prioritize and try to do the best you can at what you enjoy. If the laundry falls by the wayside, who cares?

Yes, I often feel like I have no time for friends. With the daily grind/routine, and family commitments, it seems impossible to fit them in. And for that reason, I am going out for a girls night out tomorrow with a few friends, since this is one weekend where I am not going someplace for family stuff.

Failing to reestablish balance since I got back to work... Somehow in a short term things work, but I still find it difficult to adjust longer term planning to be realistic. It feels as I have a deadline after deadline and those are really deadly - I can't get them out of my head when I come home. And, when sometimes I manage to do it, and be a 120% mom, I hate to wake up next morning to face those deadlines again...

Often I'm discouraged but I don't usually feel like I'm failing. I have huge expectations of myself and have to deal with the consequences of that. I remind myself how fortunate I am to have the life I live and the work I do in my business.

I feel guilty a lot that I'm often too busy with other stuff (house stuff, work) to focus on my daughter. I am so busy I get impatient when she keeps coming over and wanting attention. Like she's "pestering" me. Then I feel guilty for thinking that way.