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i did edit the php.ini file but nothing happend.
so i read again the install.txt file and saw that in order to enable mysql you need the lidmysql ( or whatever the name is) file from previous versions. but it was already in the php folder so i just added the line >> loadfile lidmysql.dll
to the httpd file
but now it seems to work when it feels like it...

Enabling the module in your php.ini file and restarting your web server should've been all you needed to do. I've never used "loadfile lidmysql.dll" in my httpd file ever and my scripts almost all use a database.

Apparently I was wrong.
I rechecked when mysql works. It works if first I run php 5.2.0 and right after I upgrade and run php 5.3.1
I am absolutely sure of this since I used the phpinfo() function to check this.

That sounds like it might be either incorrect usage of the function, an old module (did you download the zip file I suggested a few posts back that has the PHP src and all modules?), or an incorrect configuration.