Thursday, December 15, 2011

As a result of the accident, I stood home. My sister asked me to "babysit" my nephew. My babysitting skills are as follows: Do not let the child die. That's it. If I can do that, I'm half way there. My nephew is a sweet kid but he is hyper. He constantly has to play with his shoes or bounce a ball or hit something. The dude wont stop.

I burned the oatmeal, toast, and began to watch t.v with my nephew.

"Put it on that one!" ( a cartoon on Nickelodeon)"Let me show you another cartoon that you will like."

I put it on Daffy Duck! That's right THAT Daffy duck and Porky Pig were on. You had two characters with different speech impediments. What can be better?

"Change it, That's boring man"

I changed the channel to Nickelodeon and the cartoons were loud. Cartoons for kids today have to catch their attention. So they must include noise and more noise, and lights and flashing lights, and music and noise and more noise. The mind has to cease thinking.

The Cult of the t.v had a loyal follower in my nephew albeit an unaware believer. He was hypnotized to the screen in a manner that would make David Koresh proud. I figured we go for a walk so I can rehab my back and enjoy the sunshine and on the way back I took him to the library where he looked lost. "There's no books here" he tells me. "There are thousands of book here", I tell him. He picks 4 and I become optimistic that the book may be mightier that the box.

We get home and the books are put away but the lights and chatter of the television draw him back. Another soul lost to the box.

I did a little research and found that studies have found that there is a link between t.v watching and long-term attention problems. In one study, kids were given a task immediately after watching Sponge Bob Square pants and the more they watched, the dumber they got (paraphrased)

This makes sense. It made me look back on the role of cartoons in our society. When I was a kid, School House Rock showed me how a bill becomes law, the function of conjunctions, and that three indeed is a magic number.

When I watched cartoons, Jazz or classical music played in the background and Bugs Bunny was making satire out of historical events. Henry Mancini played the jazz melody on The Pink Panther. Legend great Charles Mingus played the themes song on Peanuts. There was a fusion of music and art which is missing today. Incidentally, I find the Pink Panther one of the funniest cartoons AND THE CHARACTERS NEVER TALKED! Imagine that.

For all of the technology that the MTV generations has given us, it's come at a price that is to distracting to be seen.

Friday, December 9, 2011

My day started shitty. I was involved in a 9 car pile up. My car was 4th on that metal accordion of a mess. This happened on the 5 freeway towards Orange County, CA. It happened so fast. The airbag deployed and my seat belt prevented me from flying through the windshield (so buckle up kiddies!). In the aftermath I was in shock and had inhaled chemicals in my system. I had to kneel to prevent myself from collapsing.

But besides a sore body, I can honestly say that I'm grateful to still be alive and to be surrounded by a core of people that truly care. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I've decided that I wasn't going to let life's struggles get me down. I will turn to humor as a refuge. I hope you enjoy the following jokes. I'll be resting and counting my blessings.

Amy Winehouse's dress fetched $68,000 at an auction. When asked if the buyer planned to re-sell it, he said "no no no"

Burger King announced that they are changing its recipe for the first time since 1998. This time they will take a gamble on potatoes.

Another woman has come forward claiming to have had an affair with Herman Cain. According to her, he had a preference for 69 69 69.

After Congress lifted a ban, horses can now be slaughtered for consumption. Next on Md Donald's menu: The McStallion.

Former Miss USA, Rima Fakih has been arrested on suspicion of DUI after she failed to properly recite the alphabet. She was released immediately when it was discovered that she's just dumb.

Astronomers have discovered the biggest black holes ever, not attached to a Kardashian.

Amanda Knox has hired a lawyer to help her land a book deal. It will be entitled: "OJ thanks for the tips."

Rod Blogojevich has been sentenced for 14 years on corruption charges. His hair is appealing that decision.

Alec Baldwin was kicked off a plane in Los Angeles for playing a word game on his phone. The pilot complained that the constant beeping was was ruining his high.

Lindsey Lohan's Playboy is set to drop early after a leak - or as Hugh Heffner calls it, draining the main vein.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

About Me

I grew up in Los Angeles, and now I live in Anaheim, CA. Graduated from CSULB. I have Insomnia. I drink Coffee everyday. Maybe That's why I have insomnia. I'm a big fan of Stand up comedy and comedy in general. I do stand up comedy and write monologue jokes; many which have been published by the NY Times Humor Blog. To hire me for writing assignments, email me