Top Ten Games That Punish Pirates

Cazaam
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free... Maybe not as free as you thought. We all know DRM doesn't work when done in the way it usually is but these examples are just so hilarious and awesome I have to share them with you.

These also go to show how resilient some pirates are and will just never give in. Kudos to the developers of these games for having a sense of humour or the pirates for giving free copies. Depends what side of the fence you're on.

The Top Ten

1Get More Enemies and Then You Crash (Earthbound)

If you managed to slog your way through those hordes of baddies and actually make it to the final boss battle, Earthbound would destroy you. It doesn't care, that's a pirated copy, F you, you're not completing this game. Restart, lose all your progress. That's what you get you filthy pirate.Hey, it's not like they didnâ€™t warn you about playing pirated games. You didn't listen, did you? - Cazaam

2Chicken Bullets (Crysis Warhead)

People who pirated this game got a shocking surprise when they found out that their gun fires chickens instead of bullets and that their grenades also were chickens.In case you're wondering, the chickens do no damage whatsoever, meaning you can't kill anybody, and the game cannot be won. You can't die, either, because the bad guys use chickens, too. - Cazaam

3One Patch Leads to Another Problem (Spyro: Year of the Dragon)

In the game, one of the missions is to collect eggs and gems. Pirated versions would have the eggs and gems randomly disappear from the world. Of course the pirates managed to patch this but this leads to more trolling by the developers. Now pirates found themselves with the inability to pause, the menu screen randomly changing languages and portals being unusable.Once they got past all that, the developers had the one last giant middle finger left which was when the pirate attacked the final boss, their game corrupted and all data was lost. How do you like that you filthy pirate?It took over 2 months for the pirates to beat all these problems. Much longer than normal "F over the consumers" DRM does. - Cazaam

4Invincible Scorpion (Serious Sam)

What the pirates initially thought was a challenge in the game was actually not in the legitimate version. Pirates got "treated" to an extremely fast and immortal scorpion which would kill them if they tried to run away and would kill them if they tried to fight it. The only solution would be to smash that piggy bank open. - Cazaam

5Pirates Get Pirates (Game Dev Tycoon)

The pirates of this game received a taste of their own medicine. The game's developer, Greenheart Games, decided to leak a hacked version of the game, mere minutes after releasing the legitimate version, just to see what would happen. Sure enough, within one day, a whopping 93.6 percent of players were playing the illegal version of the game. That's a lot.However, I've got to say the pirated version of this game is more realistic as that's the sheer amount of pirates that exist in the gaming world. Popular games get pirated more. Simple as. - Cazaam

6Drunk Camera (Grand Theft Auto IV)

Getting GTA4 off the pirate bay may sound like something that would be cool to do but those who choose to do so get a giant middle finger of beer constantly stuffed down the camera. The camera constantly wobbles around making everything so much harder to do. - Cazaam

7Warning: This Cape Doesn't Enable Flight (Arkham Asylum)

Batman: Arkham Asylum featured similarly hilarious DRM. Again, you could play a cracked copy of the game just fineâ€"but Warner Bros. nerfed Batman's crucial gliding ability. Instead of soaring majestically, pirates instead watched Batman flap his arms and plummet unceremoniously to the ground.You can't get past the initial minutes of the game without being able to glide, so yes, the Joker gets away in pirated copies. - Cazaam

8Pixel Hell (The Sims 4)

Nope. Those blurry pixels are intentional, and they appear only if you're using an illegitimate version of The Sims 4. Yes, EA is messing with the pirates who illegally downloaded their game. So, if you want to raise a family in a world of pixels without being able to see what's going on, by all means pirate the game. If you want the actual game, fork over a few banknotes and get a legit copy. - Cazaam

9Game is Impossible (Donkey Kong 64)

What's worse is that if the game saves when this happens, your Donkey Kong 64 game is pretty much useless.

10Vuvuzelas of Doom (Michael Jackson: The Experience)

The Contenders

11But I'm Afraid of Heights! (Mirror's Edge)

Just as you try to make a huge jump, Faith slows down to a crawl and walks off the edge. This means the game is pretty much impossible if you pirate it.

12Jumpscares (Five Nights at Freddy's)

Scott Cartoon left a Foxy jumpscare to those who downloaded the FNaF game without paying - GlassweighanCountess