T-shirt help - washing issue or alterations?

Hi All,
New here, but been browsing for some time now. I have the hardest time with tshirts.. most likely because I'm very picky about what kind to get. I've personally tried, American Apparel, Banana Republic, Cotton On, AAA, Hanes and probably a few others. Fit-wise, AAA worked best for me, but they weren't great quality.

The things I primarily look for are not too loose around the collar, and sleeve length. More often than not, I find tshirts with sleeves that are just a tad too short. I like it maybe 2-3 inches above my elbow.

That being said, I've had brands that work (Cotton On) in Small, before washing/drying. Once I wash it, the sleeves shrink too much. I've tried medium after washing, and they're just too long.

So I wanted to ask, can I get away with machine wash and air drying small shirts? or am I better off getting medium shirts, having them altered, and machine washing/drying?

In terms of keeping them soft and long lasting, what's the better route to take?

If you can't find them in your specific length I'd say buy medium and get them altered. The alterations aren't hard either, if you want to invest in a sewing machine you can do it in about a minute to every shirt you own.