Monday, September 30, 2013

The building. The mining. The crafting. Terraria has finally
ambled its way out of the sanguine depths of PC gaming to the dirty back alley
known as the Android Marketplace. Yes, the 2D Minecraft-like has all the
thrills of putting blocks on other blocks that you have come to expect in a
game like this.

Even if you are only tangentially aware of this sort of
game, you’re probably familiar with the mechanics already. You dig stuff up out
of the ground and combine that stuff with other stuff to create brand new
stuff! The sky’s the limit! Or whatever the developers decide is the limit. Under
600 items? Get out of here with your inferior game, you peasant!

And there’s combat. Oh there is combat if you can call it that.
You can swing your sword, axe or pick at your choice of zombies, slimes, other
zombies and even more slimes. Eventually, you dig down deep enough into the
center of the earth where you get to do battle with goldfish, bunnies and the
Eye of Cthulhu. But just his eye. Presumably because Cthulhu himself was off
sipping tea with his skeleton army.

Terraria features a wide variety of weapons aside from the
sword, axe & pick. Weapons like guns, swords, chainsaws, other swords, and
even more chainsaws are yours for the taking if you’re willing to take the time
to go mining for it. You can even build a lightsaber. Yes, that is a thing in
the game. Because every game needs to have a lightsaber. Because when your game
relies so heavily on The Thing That Made Minecraft Famous, you need to
differentiate yourself from the pack. And what better way to do that than by
co-opting another popular franchise?

Aside from weapons, there are plenty of other things to craft
as well. You can craft hats, for example. Just imagine being able to wear a hat
in a video game! And of course there are the requisite armors, rulers,
bookcases & other useless items that come along with this sort of thing.

So it’s more of the same. But don’t let that dissuade you.
Some people just happen to like more of the same. More of the same got Nintendo
to where they are. And there’s nothing necessarily wrong with any of that.

As would be expected, the graphics are neither better
nor worse than any version out there. Visually, it’s bright and colorful in all
the right places. More importantly, the world still feels big. Big, big, big.
Enormous. Gargantuan. Big, huge and empty. The major difference between playing
on a phone versus your computer is how small everything is once the game
begins. Of course, this all could be fixed with the inclusion of a zoom
function.

While I can’t speak for how it plays on the iPhone, the
controls are simply terrible, almost rendering the game unplayable. Even as
something as simple as making a jump is rendered much more difficult than it
needs be.

The issue stems from the implementation of the control
scheme. The directional pad & action buttons are not in fixed sections of
the screen. Any time the screen is touched, the directional pad & action
buttons will appear there. However, this presents a few problems. Particularly
during harried sections of the game where the player is forced to flee, this
can be particularly aggravating. Your fat thumbs, sweaty from hours of mining
Birkenstock sandals out of the ground slip off, causing the aforementioned
bunnies to gang up on you and nibble your toes to death. You try to jump away
from them, but it’s too late: you’ve lept backwards into the Nostril of Satan
and have lost all of your adamantite.

The Terraria Experience Now Available On Android

Aside from the horrible vanishing D-Pad, controlling exactly
where you want to place blocks is also an exercise in frustration. Oh you didn’t
want to lay down 15 blocks all on the same spot? Well too bad. At least your
house will have plenty of protection from the unrelenting swarms of pink and
blue slimes.

Without a mouse, you are left to guess as to where your
character is going to place a block down. Attacking & mining fare better,
both requiring less precision than house building but still face the same
problem of shifty controls when armed with anything other than the chainsaw
swinging between your legs.

This is the very reason Terraria simply doesn’t adapt very
well to the Android environment. Being a PC game, it relies on PC game
controls. Touch screen controls are finicky at the best of times. While the
developer has admirably attempted to bridge the gap between the PC and the
mobile world, the execution is flawed, ultimately.

Still, I don’t doubt that for its intended audience, Android
Terraria will still be an enjoyable experience. Many of the issues facing the
game could be addressed in patches. But most unwilling to adapt to the game will
likely find the game in its current state to be a frustrating experience.