Frock-coated figures march across an architectural drawing of Leith Assembly Rooms on an embossed brochure which lands on my desk. On the website those witty 18th-century figures reappear, on a background of tweed. It suggests unutterable chic, yet when I click on pics I find a grotty electric heater in one shot, snaking flex in another. Photos say "clutter", I'm expecting Kelly Hoppen.

Styling – for the uninitiated – is what happens before professional photographs are taken. For interiors, at the very least it means moving old cushions and cables out of shot.

Brochure text reveals more about the owner, Wallace Shaw, than his gaff ("two ensuite double rooms", "sleek breakfasting kitchen"), but this is an Alastair Sawday B&B, costing almost £100 a night, so it must be OK – mustn't it?

Fast forward to the port of Leith – I used to love exploring its cobbled quaysides when I lived in Edinburgh. I'm standing outside the Assembly Rooms, now flats, pressing a bell which has Mr Shaw's name sellotaped beside it.

The hallway's bare (the "small exhibitions" alluded to in the brochure clearly not happening today). Into the sitting room – glass of prosecco? My bedroom is opposite. Bedlinen could be more crisp. Ah – the heater – and too much furniture. A tray bears mugs and a travel kettle. It's B&B circa 1980 except for the "en suite", a white pod housing separate shower and loo. Love it – it reminds of me Yotel at Gatwick.

In the sitting room, Wallace fixes drinks, while I survey various sofas (and the old cushions), rare Chinese teapots, coffee tables, speakers, Italian lighting, and paintings propped everywhere. Wouldn't less be more? I'm itching to move a trio of tall mirrors into the hall. The realisation is dawning though, that the real reason for staying here is Wallace.

Wallace is nearly 70 and began life in Glasgow's East End. He attended Glasgow School of Art in the 1950s, designed for Pringle, then worked for Donna Karan in New York ("she needed someone who knew about cashmere"), rubbing shoulders with everyone from Liam Neeson ("lovely man") to Liza Minnelli and Barbra Streisand (whom he refers to as "Babs").

He learned Italian and moved to Spoleto, Umbria, running a B&B in a palazzo where he also held jazz concerts and exhibitions. Now he is back on home turf, keen to meet new folk while doing his bit for Leith's tourism and donating knitwear to the art school where his career began.

Wallace has the energy and enthusiasm of someone half his age, but a lifetime of stories to tell – which he does over more Italian bubbly, of course, now we are joined by two new arrivals, Lee and Anna, up from Nottingham for a wedding.

The boutique-ing of B&B has passed the Arthouse by. Breakfast – in case you hadn't guessed – is on the continental side (great coffee, no cooking). Juice cartons are lined up, while a juicer remains unused. It's a blast though. We all sit at Wallace's large kitchen table – me, Lee, Anna and himself – chatting and laughing. There are smarter outfits in Edinburgh charging a comparable rate – but it's impossible to put a price on meeting Wallace.

Tips from a local: Wallace Shaw, owner of Wallace's Arthouse Scotland

A day at a museum

Visit the Trinity House Museum (99 Kirkgate, +44 (0) 131 554 3289), a small museum dedicated to shipping with fascinating paintings of Old Leith as well as several portraits of admirals, masters and mariners – four of which are by Raeburn. Many other curious artifacts and models of ships are on show. A good way to pass a morning.

A meal out

Fisher's Bistro (+44 (0) 131 554 5666) is a seafood restaurant on the Leith waterfront that serves delicious fresh fish. It is housed in a former lighthouse and signal tower.

A walk

Photograph: John McKenna/Alamy

Stroll around the dock area of Leith, through the historic parts of Edinburgh's former port where the old piers still have a feel of the 17th/18th century. Hear the cries of the seagulls. Watch the ducks and swans. Spend time touring the Royal Yacht Britannia. Alternatively join the Water of Leith walkway alongside the river which goes from Leith through the heart of old Edinburgh, passing by the Museum of Modern Art and the Dean Village.

Creative course

Take a course at the Leith Art School (+44 (0) 131 554 5763) run in a former Norwegian church in Edinburgh – it has short courses in painting, textiles, drawing and life classes. There are day and evening classes of a few hours, and one-and two-day workshops.