Some of My Parenting Wishes for This Year

I am not sure what it means to take off my ‘teaching hat’ and put on my ‘parenting hat’; it’s kind of all the same to me. I also think we bring all of our hats to help us in different situations. That said, this is a post with my ‘parent hat’ in mind. As classes are settling in and school is in full swing, I have some hopes for my own kids’ experiences (and my engagement with these experiences) for the coming school year.

Communication

I am so pleased so many teachers have websites. I love how the teachers display their kids’ work, giving weekly previews and sharing ideas on how we, as parents, can support their current learning at home. My day job severely limits my ability to see school in action for my kids and the website is a wonderful way for me to stay connected. I also appreciate the ability to subscribe to the websites and receive emails with new content. While I know we should be checking back regularly, the updates are a great prod for me to take a look. I know it may seem like “one more thing to do” but the sites have been an amazing tool of engagement and connecting me with my kids’ learning.

Homework

I really would prefer you didn’t. I won’t use this space to get into the big debate about the value of homework (that said here is an article from Alfie Kohn that will get you thinking), but I know our kids, like so many other kids, are very engaged in learning outside of school. So, particularly at their age (young elementary), homework is really unnecessary. I do love home reading, particularly when it is focused on reading and sharing and not about simply reading a certain number of books. My oldest son has the ability to turn reading into a contest, to find the easiest books to read as possible, so he can ‘win’.

Create Some Space

The most enjoyable times my older daughter has had in school have been when she has had some free space and choice of what she can learn, and how she can display that learning. Please give them some work that pushes their boundaries, pushes their thinking, and that does not necessarily have an “answer”. They love this type of work, it is what they talk about at the dinner table.

Be Careful with Busy Work

When there is a Hollywood movie being shown, one of my kids wants to stay home. She also doesn’t understand why, when she understands a math concept, she should use the rest of the time to colour. To be clear, these type of things have happened exceptionally rarely, but they discourage my kids from school.

Grading

Again, prefer you didn’t, even with our oldest child in Grade 5. I have been in education my entire life, but if she comes home and tells me she got a “B” on something, I have no idea what that means and then the conversation ends there. Please give feedback, and feedback that my kids can use to improve their work next time, feedback that my wife and I can use to support what is going on in their learning and in the classroom.

What Really Matters

Just take good care of them, help them adjust socially. And, be memorable like all of my elementary teachers were. I can point to at least one way each of my elementary teachers made a difference in my life — from my love of Bruce Springsteen to my interest in storytelling. All of our kids mention when their teachers ask about their lives outside of school, whether it is about family, sports or other interests. These little things are really the big things for our kids about school.

To be very clear, our kids go to an outstanding neighbourhood school and they have a great sense of place and belonging. And, to date, we have had 10 teacher experiences — all very positive. Here’s to counting on another great year ahead.

Really enjoyed and appreciated reading this list. I wish though someone with your intelligence, experience and position would take on the big debate on the value of homework. I always find it so disheartening to hear the school principal and teachers roll out the same outdated platitudes regarding homework every Fall….10min. per grade, etc. Actually more true to the point I find it disheartening that the people in charge of ” learning” seem the most least open to any discussion on the issue even with all the contrary research out there. I’d even be happy to persuaded to its benefits if at least the conversation would be allowed.
Thanks again.

Thanks John. I find the homework discussion comes up from time to time and then goes quiet again, and we all go back to doing whatever it is we have always done. I do appreciate that some really smart BC educators – like Chris Wejr have written thoughfully on the topic: http://chriswejr.com/2010/10/13/homework-whys-and-homework-wise/ . I may take you up on the offer to shine some more light on the homework conversation. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Chris, this is one of the most clear and supportive articles I’ve seen on the impact of certain practices our kids experience in their early years of school. I wish that my kids experienced school the way you wish it for your kids. My kids and my wife and I as parents experienced many of the now known to be negatives. Speaking as an old time parent, what you hope for is a much better way!

Mr. Kennedy – as a parent and teacher, thank-you. I always enjoy your posts and you have really hit this one perfectly. Hopefully all teachers and parents in our province will read it. And hopefully after we get a new government in May you will be the Deputy Minister for Education – the province could really use your common sense.

I think there is a place for homework; but It should NOT be busy work. I rarely assign homework; as a matter of fact, other than students completing the last bit of what they didn’t finish in class, the only homework I assign is memory work (I am an English teacher). However, if there is a really good extention activity, then that would qualify as appropriate homework and could be assigned. For me, this could include viewing new movie adaptations of books etc that we are studying or checking out spoofs etc on Youtube. This is not mandatory and will not be graded, but does serve as extending students’ knowledge and background.

Fair point Christian. There are engaging activities that can be appropriate outside of class. I appreciate assignments that require students to engage with adults – e.g. interview a parent or other influential adult about some aspect of life. Chris Wejr’s blog post that I referenced in a separate comment does a nice job of picking up on the homework topic.

I love this post so much! I have actually been mulling over a similar post in my head. Every single point in this post has a great deal of meaning for me right now (well, except the actual grades because my eldest is only in Grade 2 where letter grades are not given). In your Create Some Space point, I would add changing things up. Not all children need to be doing the same thing at the same time. As you said, children should be challenged – pushed beyond where they are currently (and definitely not given things that are well-below their ability). School is not a one-size-fits-all place.

While this post opens a lot of doors to discuss, I’ll just pick one: I agree with your comments regarding home reading.

After eight years of teaching, I’ve been convinced that books are enough of a draw for students to read without any need for ‘extrinsic’ motivators like competitions. In the time between when I was an elementary school student and an elementary school teacher, something seems to have changed: more students now than I remember there being, truly enjoy reading. Maybe it is that there are more great books (are there?) or maybe it is that we no longer use the dull title USSR (Uninterrupted Sustained Silent Reading ) but my experience is that students for the most part seem to crave any reading time they are given in school and hopefully at home.

I wonder what kind of signal it sends to students when they are rewarded for something they already find rewarding. Perhaps it is that what they are doing, while educational, is not enjoyable?

Thanks Scott for your thinking. The area you raise is definitely one where my thinking has shifted over the last several years. I used to think stickers and other prizes were needed to get kids to read, but really believe now that reading is the reward, and we don’t need extrinsic motivators to have students engage with literature.

One model I like is how some primary classes in our district are using their portal sites and have created a space where students can record the book they read and give a comment about the book – beginning to build community around reading in the digital space.

Hi Chris,
I, like the others, really appreciate your post. My daughter and I were in the checkout line at the grocery and the cashier engaged us in some friendly conversation about school. “Are you happy to be back at school? Do you like your new teacher? What grade are you in now?” To which my daughter, replied, “Yes. Yes. And grade 4.” The friendly cashier responded, “Oooh, big year … Letter grades!” My daughter smiled politely but behind the smile lies some worry and sadness (for both of us). So true that much of her learning from this point forward will be for the grade and averaged and used to compare her with peers. From now, will earning points overshadow the joy of learning, taking risks and exploring new ideas and making incredible discoveries?
As a previous commentor pointed out, when will what we know change what we do?

It caused me to reflect about many of my parent wishes over the past years too. It wasn’t always easy to convey them to my children’s teachers, even with the utmost respect and tact. I always tried to understand the context of their world too. The open conversations are so important. So while they are important, I still wonder… what actions will lead to the most change and support for those changes related to these wishes that many share here?

Thanks Sheila – I love how this conversation has grown. On that personal level I don’t need grand changes to “the system” I just want some small shifts to see my own kids more engaged in their learning. I appreciate your support and ongoing engagement in my network – we have some wonderful efforts across the country taking place.

Great post Chris!
I rarely reply to the blogs that I read but your post inspired me to do so! Your writing somehow gives me hope, both as a parent and a teacher, that the kind of learning context you describe will become a reality and “more the norm,” in both elementary and high school settings, in the near future.

In a broader sense, I believe that the “education system” must look beyond “existing as a system” and work to be dynamic in the way it creates learning environments. In short: focusing on “what really matters” which means personalizing education. Providing value to students (and the tax payers who fund education) rests more on the ability of schools being able to respond to the individual needs of students, rather than forcing masses of students to meet the individual focus of pre-scribed curriculum.

The problem as I see it is that the continued demands on schools and school boards to do more with less, increases “system stress.” Psychology and Neuroscience shows that stress makes it easier to validate staying within existing parameters even if it is known that the existing parameters are sub-par. I see the “stress” on the education system as having a validating effect that allows a more traditional focus on curriculum and testing to take a stronghold despite an abundance of educational research that would suggest an alternate route. Leadership in the direction you are pointing, is essential if we are to ‘take what we know and use it to change what we do’ especially in inclement weather.

From this and other posts that I have read of yours, you seem to be the kind of guy who is sincere about wanting to leave the path well travelled to find a more engaging route even if it means navigating through a storm – and for that I thank you.

[…] post, Chris Kennedy, Superintendent of West Vancouver School District, talks about homework in his Some of My Parenting Wishes for This Year Post. The article “The Truth About Homework” by Alfie Kohn that he references can be found […]

[…] proud father of 4. In September, Chris wrote a post on his blog, Culture of Yes, entitled Some of My Parenting Wishes For This Year. As I read this post in September, I felt myself continually nodding my head in agreement […]

I love this post. Thank you for sharing an educators perspective on parenting. It’s so true that what we want for our own kids becomes our practice in our classrooms… Parenting changes your teaching in a BIG way.