So I've narrowed it down to a female Doctor of Osteopathy and a male Doctor of Rheumatology that my insurance will let me choose as PCP. Which one will be better able to deal with my sore nuckles and wrist?

osteo for sure. osteopaths tend to have far more hands-on experience, and experience with adjustments, mobilization, relocation, palpation of soft tissue dysfunction, etc. any plus you can get to the manual side is very crucial. a quadruple phd aint got shit on someone who has worked hands-on with patients significantly more. im in PT school. make sure you daily stretching wrist and fingers forward and backward

If you've got a massive hog (9" or bigger and thick), go for the female. She'll have to examine your balls eventually, and it would be amusing to watch her try to control her reaction when that monstrous fucker flops out of your skivvies.

Otherwise, go with the male because lol female doctors, especially DOs (look at the rate at which they fail the USMLE as opposed to MDs).