Let me start by explaining the third date rule: On the third date, you have sex.

Pretty simple, right? But as far as this online dater is concerned, having sex with a new guy depends on a lot more than how many free meals he’s bought me. (Not that I don’t love free meals—they’re my fave.) Do we click? How does he fit my list of wants in a boyfriend? Do I see this going somewhere? Am I so horny I’d screw anything that came my way?

There are a lot of variables, and on this weekend’s third date, TallDarkandHandsome just wasn’t doing it for me. We went out for ramen (yum yum), and we really had nothing to say to each other. I realized we both exhausted our material during the first two dates and clearly didn’t have enough chemistry to keep the conversation going from there.

It was a real bummer. We had such a great time on our first two dates.

So when he asked me if I wanted to get a drink after dinner, I said yes. Things could still pick up, right?

We walked into an über-crowded, ridiculously noisy bar he picked out and I waited behind him for approximately 15 minutes while he got us drinks at the bar.

After he finally got the bartender’s attention and the two drinks, and we moved over to a ledge along the wall to sit our drinks down and chat.

“Going to the restroom,” he shouted. “I’ll be right back.”

So I stood there, sipped on my drink, and checked my text messages.

When he came back, he downed his drink in one gulp and asked, “ready to go?”

“Uh, one second. I’m still finishing my drink.” I immediately chugged the rest of it, half glad the date was over.

Outside the bar, I told him I better be getting back.

“You should come up first. That’s my apartment right there,” he says, pointing to a building half a block away from the bar. (Convenient planning, right?)

“Thanks, but I should get home. I’m pretty tired.”

“No, really, you should come up. My roommate’s not home.”

We went back and forth like this a few more times. Then he huffed, walked into his apartment, and I walked toward the subway.

Ladies, if a guy dates by the third date rule, keep him waiting. And if he takes the rule as seriously as TallDarkandHandsome, don’t say yes to a fourth date.