Year 2010.
It's a unique year for me.
It brought me to a new chapter of my life.
It brings a whole new level to the game.
The game of life.
The life of my new career.
The life of my new directions.

To me, 2010 is an awesome year.
It marked the starting point of my career.
Because, this is the time, where my life actually begins.
This is the time, where the reality kicks in.
Brought me challenges and trying to push me down.
And this is the time, where I know the harsh world of living.
Where everything is unfair, where everyone is selfish and cruel.
To summarize, this is the time, where I know about life.

It's the end of the year of 2010.
It will be the end of the first decade of 21st century.
People say that the end is a new beginning.
This is so true for me right now.
Next year, I'll be 25 years old.
An age where I think I need to be serious. About life.

Why so serious? People ask.
Yeah, there are times when we could laugh, be happy go lucky.
And there are times when we need to be serious.
Serious about the future and serious about life.
If we don't do anything and nothing will happen.
It's easy and simple. It's just a law of nature.
And so, this is the time, I need to change.

Making new resolutions was never an agenda in my life.
Seriously, I've never made any single objective of life.
Well, maybe there are some, but I can't remember.
Or maybe, I don't want to remember.
Thus, I think it's really important to do this.
Carve my goals and objectives into this kind-of a journal.
Something that is tangible and visible.
For me to look into by the end of next year. Year 2011.

Why so? Again, people wonder.
Writing them into a journal is a must.
A mistake we'll always do.
We never write this kind of thing, into a journal.
So, we'll forget, and never seems to remember them.
And by the time we remember, which is the end of next year.
We'll notice that nothing changes. Nothing transforms.
The upcoming year, we'll list out the same to-do list.
But, we'll found out we lost the list.
Because, we don't write them.
Into some place that's easy to go back to.
A place that we refer back to, to remind us of our own motives.
To remind us, why we start the journal in the first place.

Another reason for writing, in a journal, is this.
We can share them with others.
"Sharing is Caring", isn't that what people says. All the time.
Well, this concept could be use in the process of transformation.
To let people know. To let people notice.
And so, who knows? There might be other people like you too out there.
Those who have the same ambitions, goals and objectives.
Thus, we can work it out together, or perhaps in a team.
After all, we all want a change because we know that we need to change.

However, there are also people who likes to keep it a secret.
Bury them deeply into their mind computers. Sealed shut with no open access.
Well, we can't blame them. Because writing a journal has also it's drawbacks.
Because in order to start making changes, we need to know where we stands.
Our current situation, by figuring out our problems and admitting mistakes.
Thus, this is the reason why. They don't want people to know their weaknesses.
Because once people knew, people will commit judgments and give criticisms.
Affecting their resolutions and causes low self-esteem.
In the end, there is no change. And no transformation. And no improvements.

Here, we could see that, in order to change, into something better;
Writing a journal is compulsary. Whether its for public or personal use.
Because no matter how classified the document is.
What matters the most is the document itself.
The message it carries to the future self.
To evaluate the performance of the executor.
To see the change from the present till the future.

Well, everybody has secrets. Who doesn't?
And it’s their story to tell. Not us.
Even though we know their secrets.
Because why?
Because it’s none of our business.
So, let them talk. Give them the privilege to tell.

In the process of learning, basically, we'll go through three stages. In every education system, to require useful information and knowledge, we can't outrun these three stages. And we are not supposed to skip the steps. Jump through to the final stage, will lead us right through to failures. And worst, we got nothing out of it.

So, here are the three stages of learning;Stage 1: Exposure
When we come across some sort of new knowledge, in order to require new skills, first of all, we need exposure. We need to know what we are being exposed to. We need to know the terms, definitions and formula that might be useful afterward. Without knowing this, the basics, it would be hard for us to understand the mechanism, the advanced algorithm, the explanation, which relies on them.

What is a Problem?
A problem is a deviation from an acceptable performance. A gap between what is currently happening and what is supposed to be happening. People doesn't like problems; because problems create uncomfortable situations. It creates unhappiness, build up stress and sometimes it stirs emotion. To sum up, it develops negative effect, to us. And that's why, people doesn't like problems.

BUT, Money Isn't Everything.
If there are people out there who thought money is an ultimate solution. To every problem and challenges. They’re absolutely wrong and they're absolutely knows nothing about life. Because, the more we try to admit that money is everything, the more we finds that everything can't be solve with money.

However, we can't deny that money is not solution. It's one of the solutions. Its one of the option because there are times, where money is very useful. And at other times, the solution seems so promising with the aid of money, but the truth is, it doesn't last long. Money is just an immediate alternative to incurable diseases, when hopes and faith are the only things that are left.

So, why Money Isn't Everything;1. Money can't buy true love.
While there are people who have lots of money, they could buy anything for their loved ones. Gives them gifts and presents. Spoiled them unnecessarily. But, no matter how much we spend to express our affectionate to others through expensive objects and materials, we can't expect the same from them. Because love does not function that way. Love and relationship develops when people trust each other. Spend time together. When there is a sense of belonging. Unless we have these criteria, money means nothing.

Streamyx and BroadBand.
Same objective, provides internet, however, differs in so many ways.

1. Connectivity
Streamyx, requires a telephone line to function (WIRED). BroadBand; doesn't have to (WIRELESS). It works using Plug & Play (PnP) function. Just install the driver; and it'll work. Streamyx also go through the same process, but it requires much more detail procedure. Which is easy and simple; where the manual are provided.

Today. December 19th 2010. Sunday.
An application to join this particular blog called 100penulis.
Not to join as editors. But to get enlisted into their blogroll.

Alert. It's a multi-racial, multi-language blog. I believed.
So, check it out. But I'm sure, those who read this entry, most of them knew about them.
I managed to "reach" this blog a long time ago, while I was blogwalking.
But then, I knew about this "vacancy" when I read about it, from FnF.
When he wrote, an entry, kind of what I'm writing right now.
I guess, thanks to him. I was encouraged to join, to write this. :)

It sounds funny, because I have no idea what it's all about.
But later, it kept coming back to me.
It feels like karma. Every time something goes wrong, to myself; I remembered this law.
And finally, I know it's true and it’s the real deal.

Social Network. It’s not just a trend nowadays.
It's a necessity. It’s a necessary.
To keep in touch of your friends.
To let people know what you're doing.
With regular updates on your status
Life in general or relationship in particular.

And the network that I've been using is Facebook.com.
Which I am very fond of.
Not just because of its innovative idea on how we communicate.
But also due to the flexibility of how we do things.
Online. Virtually. In a social network.
Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg. The founder of Facebook.
In fact, last night, I watched Social Network.
A story of how he founded Facebook.com.

Mark Zuckerberg. The Youngest Billionaire to date, at the age of 23. [source]

No Connection. No Selection.
No Connection. No Promotion.
This is what currently happening.
It's the true nature of our society.
It's a situation that we could never annihilate.
Completely. Holistically.

In order to get a job, we need "cables".
To get higher chance of a promotion, there must be bigger "network".
That's the way, how things are done.
In the competition of getting jobs.
In the hypocrisy world on getting promotions.
Even, in the political world of back-stabbing and two-face nature.
This is happening.

A Social Network is Important, But Sometimes, It can Become a Liability. [source]

Yesterday. Berita Harian. I think.
The issue. A young couple married.
The girl. Is just 14 years old.
The guy. 23 years old.
Almost 10 years apart.

Not much of an issue. In my opinion.
But when certain minister gives a comment.
It does make me wanted to say, "What's wrong?"
What's wrong with a young girl married to a nice guy, who works?
Obviously, he works, as a teacher. Otherwise, how can he support her wife?

So, here is the thing.
All this time, I've been hearing people complaints.
Giving excuses actually.

"I can't speak English very well""My English is not good""My weakness is English"

Globalization has provides us with the virtual world of online. So, use it. [source]

From the way I look at it, this is a problem.
I know, for some, they thought English is not important.
But to survive, in this harsh and competitive world.
English is the core to success.

Admitting the problem is just part of the equation.
But what we need is the next step.
A step forward, which will lead us to the solution.
So, let's see the easiest and simplest way to learn English:

1. Watch TV
You all watch TV right. Who doesn't? Nowadays, I believe, all TV stations have translations, at the bottom. So, start learning from there. Don't just "watch" those TVs. Focuses on the storyline. But, watch and learn. Learn on how to translate the sentences. Learn on how to translate Malay words into English, and vice-versa.

I believe, we all have heard about this. All the time.
But, do we really know what it really means.

So, let's take a look at this book.
The cover might look smudgy and dusty.
Some of them may seem so easy and simple.
But what's important is the inside.
The content, the information that it brings.
So, literally, what it means;
Don't judge something based only on its appearance.

Time.
Everyone has 24 hours per day.
Everybody has 7 days per week.
But why? Why does it seems not enough?
Where did I do something wrong?

Let me see.
Monday
Interview & Presentation Techniques Course.
It was held for three(3) days straight.
It was tiring and at home, I needed to do preparations for the next day.
By the time I finished, I was tired, and gone to sleep.
Scared, that I won't be able to wake up early.

"I'm Sorry", "I Apologize, It's My Mistake."
See. It's Simple. Just like that.
Just a few words. That we need to say. Which we need to do.
When we make mistakes. When we does something wrong.
But the truth is, even it is simple. It's hard. And it's difficult.

But why? Why is it so difficult? Here is the truth.
Apologizing, isn't only about the words.
You've got to put your heart to it.
And you've got to put your mind to it.
You need to say it like you really mean it.
That you're sorry. That you're admitting your mistakes.
Mistakes, that you know, is your fault.
Even though, sometimes, it's not.

I won't do it. I don't want to do it.
Some of you might think.
Isn't that great. Being able to change the past.
Change your present and future in the process. And change your destiny.
But, I won't do it. For whatever reason it is.

I admit. There are times when I really want to change the past.
Change the actions that I've made. Correct things that I did wrong.
But, when I think it through. There are reasons for things that happened.
Lessons that I've learned made me matured.
And mistakes that I've made me better. Better as a person, and better as a human.
Without those priceless experiences, I don't think I made it through this far.

DeLorean DMC-12, a well-known time machine from the Back To The Future Trilogy. [source]

6. How much do you spend on reload per month?
RM10.00 should be enough.

7. How many messages currently in your Inbox?
16, I deleted most of them.

8. Who is the most frequent name appears in your Inbox?
Hmmm...It's hard to tell.

9. When you answer this question, who is the last person that sends you a message?
It's an update from Facebook, about a "friend" of mine who commented on my status.

10. How do you feels when you read that message?
Happy, because her comment was funny.

11. When you received a message from an unknown number, what would you reply?
Nothing, because I don't know them
12. How do you feel when your own friends distribute your hand-phone number?
Nothing, because it might be necessary.

13. Are you happy when you receive a message from someone?
Sure. Of course.

14. How fast do you type a message?
From scale 1 to 10. 1 is slow, and 10 is fast. I'd say 6 or 7.
15. Who is the first person, that calls/message you today?
No one. Not yet.

16. How frequent do you use "3G"?
I never use 3G. Because my phone doesn't have 3G.

17. What ring tone do you use?
In the mood.

18. How about the "message alert"?
Standard. The old monotones message alert.

19. How much memories does your hand-phone have?
Not sure, but I'm guessing it's small. It can only save about 100 messages only.

20. Would you like to have a brand new hand-phone?
Nope. If I bought a new one, that means I'm not spending my money wisely.

21. What is the time you set for alarm?
I think, it's 6.00 or 6.30 am. I'm not sure.

22. Have you called/message your parents today?
Nope. Because, we are living in the same house.

23. Name those people, who you want to tag.
Hmmm...I guess no one, because all them has been tagged.

Today, my friends and I went to a friend's wedding.
How wonderful there are.
Dressed up as king and queen.
All eyes was looking and every lips was talking. About them.
They looked so beautiful. They looked so good together.

And today, is the day, they starts their lives together.
Living as husband and wife. Take care of each other.
Face the challenges together. Work through the hardships together.
And not too mention, they starts to "see" each other, everyday and everywhere.

Fear.
A psychological state, an emotional response to a perceived threat.
A threat that may happens or may not happens.
In other words, the fear causes by an uncertain future.
Our heart starts to pump heavily, our blood pressures getting high.
Our body start to produce sweats, flows through our tighten muscles.
Our minds starts to think negatively, thinking about the worse case scenario.
What might happens or what could happen?

Reality.
Everyone has fear. Deep buried into their unsubconcious mind.
Whether they notices it or not.
Without realizing, they knows that they have it.
They tries to cover it up, but they can't.
Because they know, sooner or later, they need to face it. They have to face it.

And life. It's full of suprises.
Readings and learning are just some channels but experiences are the best teachers.
Through this step, we learn a thing or two about life.That eventually, develops different perspective on the journey of life. So, its up to us to decide what's best for us. That's why it's up to us to keep on moving forward. To find the right path. To follow the right track. Until that happens, all we need to do is to keep on searching. Seeking for the true meaning of life.

It used to be my ambition, when I was in high school. But now, it just reminds me of a version that I could be. Or a version of me that I would never become.

As a profession.

In order to become a doctor, a surgeon for that matter, it is not easy. It requires hard work, and lots of motivation. It needs high level of focus, because you know why, it will takes all of your time. It takes forever. Before you get a license to get your knowledge into practice. Five years in college. Three years as an intern. So, it takes at least eight years before you can become a doctor. Not too mention, if you failed your assessments.

The question is simple, and yet the answer is quite hard to find.
Well, the truth is, in the process of development, we need to sacrifice.
We need to give something in return. Because, you see, we can't have it both ways.

Life.
It's all about making difficult choices. It's all about selecting the best option.
Funny thing about life, we can't run from this obligation. We cannot run from this fate.
It's either we stay or we run away. It's either to fight or to flight.
By the end of it, we have to make a decision.

Life as a kid.
Since we were kids, we are required to make decisions. To plan the future or to decide the next step. At the time, naive and innocent, without realizing it, we made the first step of a bright future when we decided the schools that we wanted to study in. Even though, at those times, we were just following "orders" from our parents, instinctively, we were actually decided to follow their instructions in the process. Because, they knew what’s best for us. They knew better.

Yesterday. Morning.
Received a call from my mum.
A relative of mine just died. An in law of my grandmother.
Shocked. The last time someone close died was five years ago.
Even though I was not really close with him, but I could feel his lost.

The Arrival.
They were a lot of people there.
All of us gathered to give him our last respect. To see him for the last time.
Because, we know, after that, we won't see him again. On earth.

At the time, people were preparing to give him the last bath.

Few moments later, they brought him into a special tub, for his last bath.

Afterward, they had put him on the floor and I'd managed to see him for the last time, before they wrapped him with the winding sheet

Problems.Everyone has their own problems.
But the scale of our problems are not the same.
Some of them might be easy to solve.
But for some, its hard.
It's beyond their own capability.
It's beyond their own control.

Solving problems is like solving puzzles. Match a piece by peace will help you to solve the whole puzzle. [source]

However, there are no problems that can't be solve.
Impossible, is not an issue in solving problems.
As long as, we have some helping hands.
As long as, we have someone to watch our backs.

Yesterday.
My friend(C, easier) and I came early to the venue for PPES Integrity Day at Grand Margherita Hotel.
We thought our duty started at 8 am in the morning, but later we found out that it was 10 am.
So, we had our breakfast at Nibung (from what he told me), just near to the Pullman Hotel.
Then, after a while, he started to tell me his stories.

He told me that he had an outcast in his home.
An outsider, a girl, who has no blood relation to his family or whatsoever.
She actually, was left by his BF at his house, while he went back to his own house.
They are both stayed together at C's house before.
But when the guy left, he left his GF at C's house. What???
It gave me a big shock. Why should her stay, while his BF is not there anymore.
C's family tried to "get rid" off her from the house.
They even tried to find her a job, but she didn't last for long.
So, she stays there, doing nothing.

This is what I hate about plans.
We all could plan everything, we all could arrange anything,
but it all turns out, the plan was never executed.
The plan was never implemented.
The plan was never carried out.
So, that's why I hate plans.

The story begins like this.
Last night, a friend of mine, thought of asking me and a friend of him, out for lunch today.
I had thought that he asked us out, but it turns out, he was actually asked by his friend, a girl, who I have never met before. Therefore, he asked me to accompany him.
At first, I was neglecting to join, but as soon as he told me that he's going to pay, so, I said okay.

"Am I Not Matured Enough?"
That's the status a friend of mine in Facebook.
A friend, who used to be my classmate, when I was in UTM.
A friend, who "postponed" our graduation together.
A friend, who shared our memories together.

Then, it made me thinking.
Am I matured enough?
After a series of thought provoking inner-self.
I'm pretty sure, I am still not mature.
Even though, my friend said that I am mature, took into consideration, that I am the eldest.
So, let's see what we could learn about maturity.

Maturity, is an interesting and abstract subject.
It can't be heard and it can't be touch.
But it can be seen through a detail investigation into the person's action and reaction.
It can be seen not through the naked eyes, but through deep listening, we know that he/she is mature.

Maturity, can't be weigh in or measure.
We can't set a standard on maturity scale.
We can't set levels on the progress bar.
But we can define how much they develop, how much they grow up.

Trust.
It's a big word. Really.
It brings lots of definitions.
It brings lots of meanings.

Trust.
You cannot gain a trust.
It need to be develop.
It need to be earn.

Mutual, I think that's the most appropriate word to define trust.
It must have some connections. There must be some relationships.
You must earn someone else's trust, before they could trust you.
You must gives your trust, before you could obtain their trust.

Presentation.
It's not reading.
It's a channel of communication. It's a form of explanation.
My teacher used to say this, "A presentation is a journey."
Yeah, it's so true. It supposed to bring your audience to a journey, which they are involves in.
So, hopefully with this "journey", they'll understanding the message that you are trying to convey.

Reading.
On the other end, it's about, well, read.
You understands the vocal and characters, and from there, you read. Whether by your heart or out load, you voices out your words.
and that's reading.

Presentation, is not supposed to be that way.
It's supposed to be fun, to the speaker and of course, to the audience.
You see, I've seen this a lot, where the speaker tends to read texts from the screen throughout the presentation.
Once they do that, they tends to lose eye contact.
They tends to lose the audience.
They tends to lose the attention.

Do you back up your data and takes whatever actions necessary, to secure yourself from the internet threats.

Here are some things that you should do (some lessons that I have learned today);

1. Use a strong password

For some, they just want to use a simple password, so that they could remember them easily. This isn't a good practice at all. I know, that for some, even myself, uses multiple passwords for multiple accounts. Facebook, twitter, email, Youtube, Google and blogs. I used multiple passwords for them. But that doesn't let my guard down in using a simple password. The best practices in creating a password, is to have numbers, lower case, upper case, signs and symbols. For advance users, they might change passwords every three months. Another note, don't use significant names or numbers as your password. For example, your name or your IC number.

2. Back up your data

Data is the most important thing for any organization and I'm sure it is important to you too. So, if you don't it to get lost due to some virus, malware or worms, back up your data to any other remote computer. Just to be safe.

Change.
Some would say, "Change is Good".
But some, rather say, "Change is Bad".
The truth is, Change is a Must.
In fact, change is nature.
Change is absolute.
Change is unavoidable.
and Change is Inevitable.

Yesterday.
Work till late in the evening.
Waiting for the certificates to come.
The certificates was meant for contingents, who participated in the parade this morning.

Yesterday.
They supposed to come at 4.00pm, but then they postponed it to 6.00pm.
My colleagues and I accepted the deal. We waited and keep on waiting.
At last, the provider arrived around 8.00pm, brought along those certificates.

My Hot Tickets

Damn it. I supposed to go to KFC Choice Supermall, to claim my "chickens".
Remember when I mentioned about Hot Ticket that I bought during "Jom Heboh" three weeks ago, one of their "reward" is that, I could claim 4 pieces of chicken with 2xRM10 and 1xRM15 Hot Tickets. So, I got 4 pieces for free.
But the thing is just, the Hot Ticket is only valid till 15 October 2010. That means, it was yesterday.
By hook or by crook, I needed to claim my chickens yesterday. I told myself, "I need to get the job done by 9.00pm, if I want to get my chickens." Smiling.
However, I was working late, due to some unexpected news.
We finished our job around 9.30 pm. Damn.

Last night, after work. Browsing through my mail.
Found interesting job opportunities through Jobstreet.com.
Made me thinking.
Am I capable to attend the interview session.
Am I brave enough to face the interviewers.
Am I confident enough to walk through that door.
Dilemma, I have to attend interviews. Damn.
Aaahhh~it made me realized, it's just like a blind date, once I had before.

Believe it or not, Blind Dates and Interviews have the same criteria.
The mystery. The anxiety. The preparation and not to forget, the Q&A session.

Clearly, a date and interview are two separate things for that matter.
Two separate things, which have lots in common.
A date involves love and relationship. Interview relates to career and path of life.
However, those two leads to the same goal, a better future.

Honestly, I'm so freak out about interviews. The reason, I'm not confident enough.
Ask me to present anything or give a talk on something.
I can, I know that I could do it, and I'll be confident. But not in interviews.
I'm sure that I'm pretty good in communication, but not in answering.
Answering questions, which I don't have the answers.
I guess, I'm terrified of not knowing.

Two weeks ago. Monday. Early morning.
I suddenly woke up. Because someone had knocked my door. I usually lock my door when I go to sleep.
Soon, I realized that it was raining heavily. That means my brothers need my help.
Usually, when I am too tired to send them to school, I just let them use my bike to go to school. While I use a car to go to work.
But since it was raining, I couldn't let them go to school by bike. It was dangerous and I couldn't trust my brother to ride a bike in rain. Because, he just got his license earlier this year.

Rushing. It was already 6.30am in the morning.
I need to hurry. "If I'm late, I will get myself caught in a traffic jam." Thats what I had thought.
You know how it goes, when it's raining. We tend to get caught in a traffic congestion.
To make matters worse, a traffic jam always happens at Jalan Sultan Tengah, where my brothers school at.

Check your phone.
Is there any number that you don't call regularly?
Is there any number that shouldn't have been there?
Is there any number that you will never call again?

I'm sure you have some because I know I do.
I know that I won't use it again, but I just kept it inside my phone.
Well, it seems like an easy thing to do, but it's not.
It's not that easy to push that "delete" button.

To tell the truth, I still have tons of number that I don't call regularly inside my phone.
I even have my ex-GF number inside my phone memories.
Even though, she doesn't use that number again.
But still, I kept it inside. Just to remind myself of her. Remind myself, of who have I become.
Remind myself about a mistake, that I shouldn't have done. So that, I won't repeat it again in the future.

Deleting your contact, isn't just about deleting a number. It's like you're deleting a part of your life.
It's like you're trying to forget all those memories, all those experiences that you had gained.
It's like you're trying to ignore the past and admitting that they're gone forever.
It's like it's never been there. But the truth is, it's always there.

Those numbers, it's not just a number.
It reminds you about the past. It shows you, what you have become.
It displays the transformation of you. From there, you know that those contacts played some roles in you.
They might have given you advise. They might have help you, when you were in trouble.
That's why, its not just some number.

You don't call them regularly. You don't use those numbers all the times.
But, you might want to call them sometimes.
Just to reminisce about the past. About those memories that you shared together. About those experiences that you gained together.
You might think that the past doesn't matter, but deep inside you, you knew that it is important and it plays a big role in your life.

"It's impossible to stop smoking. It ain't easy." My father said this when we were talking on the issue of smoking. I used to hear that when I was a little boy, but still, until today, he smoke. So, you could say that he is quite a hardcore smoker.

It's impossible. Nah, I don't think so. How do you know that its impossible if you don't even try? How do you know its impossible, if you don't do anything, if you don't try any method, if you don't have the will to stop? I'm sure some of you would say, "It's easy for you to say." Yeah, it's easy, but I know it is not difficult. It is not impossible.
So, let's see some of the things(tips) that you could do to stop smoking;

Learn about the dangers of smoking.

Announce your decision to quit smoking to everybody you know.

Get rid of every item that has any connection with cigarettes like ash trays, lighters, etc.

Drink lots of water, this will help you to flush away the toxins in your body.

Eat more fruits and vegetables to reduce your addiction to nicotine.

Adopt an active lifestyle, sport activities would help to facilitate blood circulation to your entire body. Exercise can help to regulate body temperature and proper functioning of your organs. Exercising is good for you.

I was just met him and his girlfriend a few weeks ago, on the first week of Raya.
When we were still in the anxiety mood of Syawal.
I saw they were very happy. Silly jokes here and there.
They were no sign of quarrelling.
They were no sign of unhappiness.
They were no sign of intense relationship.
They were no sign of anything towards a break up.
But suddenly, they broke up, that’s what I thought, since he changed his relationship status.
From “in a relationship” changed to “single”.
Even Syawal is not over yet. But their relationship is now over.