When all is said and done, it's
all about sex. As humans we have a natural drive
to love and be loved, and to express love through our physical
bodies. When one mentions the word "sexual abandon" however, we in our
puritanical cultures have been programmed to bring forth negative
images and feelings, rather than calling forth the natural
pleasure centers that god designed us to have, use and experience.

We are such a guilt ridden society, plagued with
the imposition of hundreds of years of perverted rules, to
try and control and dictate what good or right, correct or proper pleasure
is... which usually is little or no pleasure at all.

Sexual energy is perhaps the most powerful force that human
beings have to encounter and those of us in western American culture
don't have much of a clue on how to deal with it, other than
to perpetuate myths like, "well if it feels too good, it must be wrong
or sinful". Masturbate and you'll go blind.

We avoid dealing with the subject when it comes to our adolescents,
because in reality, as adults we don't know much more to say
than to give a few instructions on the "plumbing" of sex,
or some quick drive by advice like, "be sure and use a condom". Truth
be told the average westerner hasn't much of a clue about
their sexual energies, real full body pleasure or what real love making
is all about.

We, after all, should be attempting to pass on to our children
the beauty and passion of real lovemaking? Instead out of fear that
our teens might have sex and create unwanted pregnancies, we just don't talk
about it, or we perpetuate myths.

I wonder, even in the time leading up to the marriage of
our children, how many of us have even breached the subject
of pleasure with our betrothed young adults. No, instead our sexuality
remains behind locked doors, as if mom and dad never had sex at all. Tragically,
as a result, our children never, or probably hardly ever, see mom and dad
kiss or hug, or express much affection at all.

Seems to me however we need another sexual revolution in our
culture today. Those of us that came up in the first revolution in the 60's
and 70's really should be ashamed of ourselves. We supposedly
threw off the shackles and should be teaching our teens how to make
love, what our sexual energies are all about. Instead we have embraced
materialism of the 80's and 90's and have dutifully assigned the task
to our schools which ends up just being a glorified sexual organ
biology class. The feeling, the passion, the ecstasy is only
mentioned, if at all, in passing for fear our teems might
have some fun.

Centuries ago eastern thinkers recognized an energy flow, an
electricity in our bodies related to sexual activity and they wrote
much about it. The Tantrics of India, and the Taoists
of China and Japan proclaimed that embracing our built in pleasure centers
was the key to a long and fulfilling life. They rejected the idea that sex
was only right within marriage, and outside was wrong,
evil, or sinful. They boldly proclaimed that sexual ecstasy
and abandon was simply natural human concepts and should be explored
without inhibitions and embraced without guilt or shame.

Energy Orgasms

They taught that multiple orgasms, female ejaculation, full body orgasms
lead to an altered state of consciousness. (Can anyone say "subspace")

They celebrated sex, our "modern" western culture whispers as if we are ashamed
of our sexuality.

We are so inhibited when it comes to sex, we think that having
a spiritual experience related to our physical pleasure is somehow deviant
or even for nutcases. Western civilization and its religionists have
convinced us that anything that feels good or pleasurable in the body in
a product of sinful flesh, that we must abandon the flesh for spiritual things.
Western culture and its religion have perfected the art of controlling people
using a devise called "shame". They have conned us into believing that
if we were truly spiritual, we would not need or want sex, compliments
of the Apostle Paul who exhorted his disciples to marry and burn if you just
have to, but ideally we should be like him, more "spiritual" and not need
such fleshly appetites like sex. So convinced of his exhortation we have
a whole system of priests in our churches that are forbidden to marry, as
they must not be distracted, an must be of a higher spirituality. What
a perversion and denial of the beautiful creation we humans
are. I think God is sad seeing his marvelous design being neglected and
misunderstood. He intended sex for pleasure. Wouldn't it be wonderful if
people just embraced that and were able to abandon themselves to it?

The eastern teachers told us that the body, mind and spirit are all
interconnected, and it is right, and indeed God ordained to use our bodies
as they were designed.

They taught that there is a marvelous energy or electricity flow in
our bodies that can move incredible pleasure from the anus area in our
pelvis up to the top of our heads down to the floor of our pelvis
and swirl back up and out again through the head in a system
they developed called meridians and chakras. They called this
incredible state of sexual pleasure "kundalini rising".

They were right. Yet few know anything of it. We are
just scratching the surface of embracing sexual abandon in
our relationship.

Sadly, because of these sick puritanical teachings we are ingrained
with inhibitions that for many, are simply never able to get past and enjoy
simple sexual pleasure. I have known couples who divorced simply because
they could not deal with pleasure. We usually call that "middle
age crazies" when one partner wants to feel, and the other
shuts down. So they implode. One partner begs the other for pleasure,
the other is incapable of giving or embracing as unexplained guilt grips
them, and fear that they are doing something wrong or sinful.

Endorphins

Those of us who are in
the BDSM world know about pain induced pleasure, as the infliction
of pain triggers powerful chemicals in our brains called
"endorphins",
which bring about a euphoric state of pleasure. So we submit our
bodies to flaggelation with floggers, whips, canes and paddles
all to produce a natural chemical sexual high. The vanilla world thinks we
are just sick deviants, but more and more are discovering the pleasure
in what the people of S/M do. Recently a
"Psychology Today" article touted the benefits
of such activity, along with the fantasy role play as being very emotionally
healthy for us.

Long distance runners know all about this brain chemical called "endorphins",
as the same euphoric pleasure is triggered as one challenges the body
over the miles. The long distance runners especially find an addiction
to jogging those 10, 15, 20 mile distances. Yes, people truly become addicted
to running, because after a while, pain becomes pleasure.

Restraints and Pleasure

But what about those of us who get off on restraints? Ok, so you cuffed or
tied her up. What do you do next? What's pleasurable about
that? For some who enjoy metal or leather restraints, (and even some
who are into a cruel or sadistic rope style) there is great pleasure
in being unable to avoid being hit with the sensations
of floggers and whips.

I have taught or worked with other D/s couples trying to
share with them "The Way" of Japanese Rope, as I experience it.
More than a few times the female sub wants to be tied up,
but as she screams for the sensuality of the
ropes the Dominant male simply doesn't get it. He thinks, ok, we
have her tied up, now lets flog her. She has begun an inner
mystical journey of pleasure, and he thinks if he does
not whip her its of no value. Wrong.
I have Doms do just that, and it breaks the sub right out
their space. If a sub could kill, this would be the moment.
I have literally had a couple of submissives stop the scene, turn to their
dominant and say, would you stop that leave me the fuck alone!

So what's going on? My way of Japanese Rope does not need
or want external infliction of pain to produce pleasure.
The pleasure produced by my way of Japanese Rope is entirely different.
It is a self -triggered internal pleasure, a spiritual journey, as the
mind opens up the energy pathways, the endorphins are called out
and begin to move. Slowly from a warmth to a raging inferno deep inside,
the submissive enters into a deep state of consciousness, exploding with
a most powerful energy that few understand.

Japanese Rope plays the role of making the captive
"be still". That's right
be still. The rough hemp ropes demand the captive to not struggle, but to
surrender the will and embrace the
ropes. Once restrained, in the stillness, the Bondager is a
guide who takes his captive on a meditative journey of intense pleasure.
I have see it numerous times where the captive, motionless, so
embraced by the ropes, motionless, she finds a "sexual abandon" she
has never thought possible. She can do nothing else, but surrender
herself to the ropes, embrace the ropes and let the rope
bring a balance and a powerful sense of well being, often resulting
in quaking orgasms without any external stimulation.

So the irony is that in captivity, restrained she
finds soul's release, the ultimate pleasure.