"Be the change you want to see"

Having Faith

If you’re not a religious, spiritual, or a believer in God, just a warning, then this blog isn’t going to be as relatable as my other ones. However, this blog is very personal.

This is a “story” of how I thought I lost my faith and how it interfered with my personal growth.

God played a huge role in my personal growth, from me praying every day to just reading scriptures every day. He guided me to become the person I am today and of course, like everyone else, I’m forever grateful for it.

So the title of this blog is “Having Faith”. For me personally, the closer I get to God the more levelheaded I am. I feel like I’m growing as an individual and making progress within myself, which is what personal growth is about. However, the last couple of months have been challenging for me.

People always tell you to pray for what you want and you shall receive but no one ever speaks on what happens if you don’t receive. That happened to me and I began to question everything in my life, including my faith.

I stopped praying to Him every day and I started to see a shift in my attitude and how my days were going. I became more stressed out and started to lash out at people. I began to become angry, angry with myself and I felt like a failure which made me question my faith even more. I was in, what I like to call it, a “funk”.

After being in that “funk” for about two weeks I decided to reach out to a friend of mine who I knew I could talk to about what’s been going on. I asked him to pray for me because if I won’t pray for myself I thought him praying for me would help my current circumstance. He made a comment about how I’m not losing faith, I’m just angry with God.

Then, recently, I found out some news that I wasn’t too happy with and it drove me to vent to that same friend. He told me that I should look at it as a sign from God and that I should take as much time I need to heal. I’m not sure why, but when he said that something clicked to me…

It clicked that I’ve been doing everything all wrong this past couple of months. I’ve been angry with God but I didn’t look at the blessing that came from that disappointment. Instead of looking thinking of it as a sign I looked at it as punishment. Since then, I’ve been working hard to get back right with God, I’ve asked for forgiveness for straying away and being so angry.

As you read, my personal growth started to decrease during my “funk”, I was basically deteriorating all of the hard work I’ve done to better myself. But it’s okay because I’m going to get back to where I was, if not better!

It’s never too late get right with God is the point of this story and it’s okay that sometimes you become angry with God. Just continue to have faith that what he’s doing will always be a win for you. He is not against us, He is for us. He is the best person to have in your corner. Even when things are looking down and putting you in a “personal funk”, just always think about that blessing that is about to come.