I figured if anyone could help me lay off the Girl Scout cookies, it was McGonigal. Here's what I asked, and her very helpful responses.

Q: You've mentioned that willpower is strongest in the morning and gets weaker as the day goes on. This probably explains why I tend to stick to my eating goals most of the day. Yet, after dinner, I find myself lingering in the kitchen in search of sweets. What can I do to boost my willpower during this tempting time of day?

Kelly McGonigal: Research shows that anything that lifts your spirit will also give you greater strength to resist temptation. Depending on who you are, that might include listening to music, prayer, playing with your dog, reading a great novel, going for a walk, knitting, and so on. The problem is that these things never seem like a priority when we’re stressed out and tired. We’re more likely to look for a quick energy fix (sugar, caffeine) or something that requires no real participation or engagement on our part (e.g., celebrity gossip sites, reality tv). So you may need to schedule in self-care, and create an environment that makes it easy to remember how much better you’ll feel if you give yourself these gifts. For example, creating a “willpower playlist” on iTunes, putting your knitting needles or a great book on top of the tv, leaving a pair of sneakers by the door so you can go for a quick walk.

The other strategy I recommend is to reduce your willpower burden. If there are no sweets in the kitchen, it’s going to be much more inconvenient to give in to your cravings. We can’t expect ourselves to have perfect willpower. Support your most exhausted, overwhelmed self by not leaving temptations she’ll have to resist. It sounds obvious, but most of us are pretty bad about predicting how hard it will be find our self-control if we have easy access to temptations. We are hopeless optimists, whether it’s the bags of Halloween candy we swear we won’t eat, or the “just-in-case” pack of cigarettes stashed at work.

Q: I tend to have good willpower at home, but that's mostly because I don't see food that tempts me. When I eat out, it's a different story. This is especially true at cafes and coffee shops when I see all the delicious baked goods on display. Is there a way for me to go in and get a coffee without coming out with a chocolate brownie or two?

Kelly McGonigal: Having a game plan is good. Know what you are going to order before you walk in. You’d be amazed at how many willpower failures are the result of people enjoying the “maybe I will, maybe I won’t” process while standing in line, gazing at the treats. The anticipation of a reward is often the best part. People refuse to truly commit to not ordering dessert, so they can enjoy that moment when the brain gets dizzy with desire for all the different possibilities. Then, of course, you need willpower – but your brain is hijacked by the promise of reward.

Learn to review the brownie in the dessert case as a threat to your goal, and the brain will be less tempted. But this only works if you are clear about your plan, and the reason why. That brownie has to come to represent the opposite of what you really want – health, losing weight, saving money, whatever is most motivating for you.

Q: Years ago a nutrition expert told me about what she called the "three bites rule." The idea was that the flavor of a food diminishes after three bites. Savor the first three of a high calorie food and then toss the rest. I've thought about this advice for years because I've never been able to practice it. I tend to eat all of the food in front of me, no matter what it tastes like or how hungry I may or may not be. Why is that?

Kelly McGonigal: This is a good strategy in theory, but doesn’t work for most people. Here’s why: even though it’s true that pleasure diminishes as we eat something, desire does not. The foods we have most trouble with will continue to trigger the impulse to eat, even as we become satiated or stuffed. It has to do with the particular balance of smell, sight, and taste that trips the “consumption” switch in your brain. The foods we struggle with have been carefully engineered to keep us wanting long after our stomach is satisfied. Honestly, it’s better not to get started, even though it would be great if we could indulge in moderation.

Q: Most days I'm good at motivating myself to workout. I especially have trouble, however, when it's really cold or really rainy, even if I'll be working out indoors. Why does willpower seem to wane when the weather gets nasty? Is there a way to counter it?

Kelly McGonigal: Bad weather can trigger a nesting instinct – conserve energy, burrow in, save your strength for tomorrow. It’s no different from how stress, anxiety, and other conflicting instincts can make it difficult to find your willpower. There are two main strategies for overcoming this tendency. One is to find your “wantpower” – to make your motivation so strong, weather (or other obstacles) can’t override it. Wantpower is as an important a strength as willpower – to remember your goals, and to be able to really taste the payoff for sticking to them. We need to train that strength, whether by imagining your success, writing about your goals, or meditating on your values each day.

The other strategy is to bypass motivation completely. That’s what a habit is: a behavior that no longer requires any motivation. Bad weather can only talk you out of working out if you believe you have a choice, and you have an internal conversation about working out every day. When that dialogue starts going (“Maybe I won’t exercise,” “I don’t really feel like it today, I’ll have more energy or time tomorrow,” etc.), shut it down. Start to use it as a cue to exercise immediately, if possible. Sometimes creating a rule is the best way to overcome a willpower challenge. Clear and doable rules like “vegetarian before dinner,” or “no email after 10 PM” or “workout at 7 AM, period, even if it’s yoga in the living room in my pajamas.” This doesn’t work for everyone, but if you keep talking yourself out of something you really want to do, it can really help.

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ABOUT THE WRITERS

TIM DARRAGH has been reporting and editing the news for 30 years, most of it at The Morning Call. For much of that time, he's been doing award-winning investigative and in-depth reporting projects. Tim created the three-year-long Change of Heart project, and wrote a series on the state's fractured food inspection system that led to widespread improvements in food safety. Meantime, that novice jogger you see plodding along the streets around Bethlehem Township? That would be Tim.