(This happened to my parents in the 80s. They are at a table in the half-empty dining room, waiting to be served breakfast. The waitress comes and puts their plates down with two slices of toast for each of them and some spreads. When my parents try to order more toast this happens.)

Mom: “Hello, could we have some more toast, please?”

Waitress:*curt* “No.”

Mom: “We are willing to pay if that costs extra.”

Waitress: “You shouldn’t eat so much toast. It makes you constipated.”

I work in a new hotel setting up and running the breakfast bar. My boss, the owner/manager, has interesting ideas on how things should be done and will make “suggestions” that she expected me to implement. Some of the time they work fine, but others, not so much.

For example, the time she told me to use a plastic bin in the convection oven because you aren’t supposed to use metal. Yeah, no. I opened the oven to see a river of molten plastic running down the racks, with half-cooked scrambled eggs mixed in.

Another time it was cook the scrambled eggs that came in an oblong plastic bag in the microwave. Should work, right? Well, since the bag was too long to turn on the turntable, it cooked partially and exploded all over the microwave.

Of course, since I did it, it was my fault when things went wrong. And I got to clean up the mess every time!

(I work the front desk of a hotel for years. Confidentiality is an extremely important part a desk clerk’s job but that doesn’t stop scammers from trying to obtain information.)

Me:*answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Name] from [Hotel]’s corporate office in Alabama. We have had to reset all systems and so I need you to give me the names of all guest staying in rooms.” *rattles off a small group of room numbers*

Me:*immediately suspicious because our corporate is closed on the weekends and is not located anywhere near Alabama* “I apologize, but why are you needing this information?”

Caller: “We lost some information while resetting your hotel’s system. Now I need you to give me the names of the guests in those rooms and their information.”

Me: “And who did you say you were with?”

Caller: “I am a front office expert with your company. Now, please, I need the names of the guest in–” *repeats room numbers from earlier* “–and their information so I can replace the data that was lost while the system was down.”

Me: “I am sorry, but I am not at liberty to give out guests’ information. Surely being a ‘front office expert’ you can understand why.”

(Earlier in the day, housekeeping found a stuffed dinosaur toy in one of the guest rooms. The guest who lost it called and said they’d be in to get it in a few days, so we have it behind the desk. I’m working behind the desk with another coworker.)

Coworker:*points to the toy* “What is that thing?”

Me: “A triceratops.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. See the horns and the fan around its neck? That means it’s a triceratops.”