1.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.Dispatcher: Do you have an address?Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

2.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.Dispatcher: Excuse me?Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!

3.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

4.Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apartDispatcher: Is this her first child?Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

5. And my personal favorite….Dispatcher: 9-1-1Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…. I think I’m going to pass out.Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?Caller: NoDispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?Caller: Running from the Police.