Mid Summer and Still…

I did not realize how much time elapsed since my last post; it’s July 19th and we are (hopefully) nearing the end of a record heat-wave. Since my last post I’ve learned two interesting things about myself:

(1) When I am in pain, sleep-deprived or both, my food choice restraints go right out the window. I thought I could easily control food no matter what my mood; alas, I was mistaken. I don’t know, perhaps the loss of focus is due to past patterns of “on for 6 months and off for however long it takes until I am disgusted with the status quo. Now I have found another negative pattern I need to break! Why do I never recognize a positive and uplifting pattern? I’m certain I have them, what I need to do is focus on them and celebrate. In the meantime, I will choose to follow my food plan more faithfully than I have in the past few months. I will choose to not allow chronic pain and lack of sleep control my eating habits.

(2) I learned that I have a tendency to focus on the “problem” and not the “solution”. Once you take away the excuse (in this case a faulty focus), you can move forward. I don’t care to itemize the times I held myself back due to a faulty focus, but I’m quite pleased to have discovered the ability to recognize when I am guilty of a faulty focus. Removing roadblocks such as these clarify the steps you need to take to reach your goals. I do wish I had become aware of “faulty focus” years ago; could have saved myself some time.

I recently read that a life is lived forward before it is later examined. The point is to live your life in the moment and be aware of what you feel and what is around you. Life is a mystery, but the only way to solve your own life mystery is to live it step-by-step in curiosity, and thrill to the discovery of your path as you travel along. Too often we lose our innate curiosity about life as we age. Spending a few days with my grandchildren and looking at life through their observances awakened my curiosity. I love being a grandparent because when I spend time with my grandchildren, I’m really “with” them. I believe I was a good parent, but I certainly could have been more “in” my life as I lived it while I was helping to raise them.

It is never too late to fully live your life no matter at what stage you are living it. Each spring we plant some vegetables; this year as well as a lovely herb garden we are growing several varieties of tomatoes and peppers, zucchini, yellow squash, onions, potatoes, eggplant, and yellow wax beans. The plants grow, we harvest the produce, the plant eventually passes through its own life-cycle and dies. That’s all the plants do, they live in the moment. If we weed the plots, give the plants plenty of water, if they receive enough sunlight and we fertilize as necessary, rotating the various crops to nurture the soil, the crops give up their bounty. If we neglect the plants they dry out , burn up and die, all as a result of living in the moment. People are like that too. People have more choices, but ultimately they live and die in the moment.

I think it is better to really enjoy the moment. My past is gone, the future is not guaranteed; all I have are moments, cobbled together one second at a time to form my future. Imagine! All of us are living our futures, one second at a time! I want to hold on to that, and make each moment something worthwhile.

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undertall4now

For me, writing is therapy, and it gives me the opportunity to learn more about my inner life. If I can share, in the blog, some small thing that will help another person then this will be a successful experiment.