Advice Goddess: He won't be their 'friends'

Question - My boyfriend won't "friend" my friends or relatives on Facebook. He says he doesn't want to worry about censoring his posts or friends' comments.

Well, I have a handful of friends, and now a brother and a cousin, who've told me that he never responded to their friend request, and I worry that they'll think he is rude or doesn't like them.

Answer - Your boyfriend probably prefers your brother remember him for the wonderful way he helped your granny and not for how he looks in that photo his friend likes to post - the one where he's passed out on someone's bathroom floor with a bra draped across his chest and "Princess" written across his face with a Sharpie.

Although privacy is reportedly dead, it's his right to be one of those holdouts who refuses to be a 24-hour gas station of personal information.

The problem comes in his ignoring your friends and family - tossing their friend requests in the Internet landfill with all the personal messages from African warlords with $19 million in diamonds to share with a trustworthy total stranger.

Tell your boyfriend you're afraid feelings are getting hurt, and suggest he message people back with something like, "Thanks, but I mainly use Facebook to stay in touch with a few old friends. Hope to see more of you in real life."

It's gracious but boundary-maintaining, and if you break up, his lack of connectedness should provide a healthy barrier between him and explosive revelations about your new boyfriend, such as what he had for lunch.

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Advice Goddess: He won't be their 'friends'

Question ? My boyfriend won't 'friend' my friends or relatives on Facebook. He says he doesn't want to worry about censoring his posts or friends' comments.