Throughout the years, the nudist music scene has seen many a disc spinner come and go. Some were good, some were hacks and one was just an outright con man, but one name that stands out above all the rest is DJ Jesse, aka The Legend. For years, Jesse set the standard for playing just the right mix to keep the naked folks dancing until 2 AM and he had the intestinal fortitude needed to play "that strokin’ song” just one more time. What most folks don’t know about Jesse is the fact that he has a really weird side. Let me explain. One day while hanging out by the pool, Jesse struck up a conversation with an old friend and while catching up, the conversation turned to the topic (as it often does) of erectile dysfunction. The man told how he had gotten a second lease on his sex life after his doctor had prescribed a drug for him that had just come out on the market. This was quite a few years prior to the advent of “the little blue pill” so the only way to administer this new miracle drug was through an injection directly into the old “Magic Johnson”. In an effort to share his good fortune, the man asked Jesse if he’d like to give the drug a try. A lesser man would have been deterred by this prospect, but not our hero and although he didn’t actually suffer from erectile dysfunction, he just figured it might be fun having an erection that lasts more than four hours.Since he and his wife didn’t have any pressing business on the agenda that evening, they decided to give it a whirl. After getting over the initial shock of the injection, they got down to business. According to Jesse, “they tried every position in the Kama Sutra and even came up with a few of their own”, but no matter what they tried, Jesse’s soldier remained at full attention. After several hours of this, their joy turned to concern. Jesse figured a soak in the hot tub might help his little buddy settle down, so he carefully wrapped himself in a towel and they headed down to the clubhouse. Luckily, it was late and there were very few other patrons around to notice that he was breaking nudist etiquette by flaunting a stiffy in the pool area. He sat in the hot tub until almost every part of his body had shriveled except for the one he had hoped to shrivel. By this time, an aching pain had started to set in that intensified with every hour that passed.When they got back home, they tried everything they could think of from ice packs to calling his mother but nothing seemed to help Mr. Happy relax. In desperation, his wife even tried laughing at it and calling it rude names, but it just seemed to stare back at her in defiance. By this time, about nineteen hours had passed and throbbing annoyance had turned to excruciating pain. At that point, the couple decided that it was probably time to take Jesse to the emergency room and fess up to what they had done, but prior to doing so, they decided to consult an old set of medical encyclopedias (this was before Al Gore invented the internet) to try and determine what sort of treatment would be necessary. They read about a medical condition known as Priapism which restricts blood flow to and from the penis. As Jesse read on, he discovered that the only known cure for this condition was something called aspiration, which involves slicing the penis open and draining the blood. As soon as Jesse read that, "Little Jesse" made an about face and immediately returned to silent flaccidity. Like some wise dude once said, “Never Take Erectile Dysfunction Medication Unless You Actually Suffer from Erectile Dysfunction”

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About Wali, The Grateful Dude

In my formative years, I was lucky enough to attend an amazing high school modeled after the freedom school from the Billie Jack films. The curriculum included outdoor education, pottery and organic farming and emphasized values like creativity, self awareness and a strong sense of community. I spent several summers traveling from show to show with The Grateful Dead and found that not only could I beat the crap out of a plastic bucket in a drum circle, I was also quite the imported beer salesman. My early career started off in the eighties driving limousine for posers, drug dealers and wannabe rock stars in Los Angeles. In the late eighties, I was introduced to the former owner of Paradise Lakes Nudist Resort who had just seduced and proposed to my roommate while she was on vacation in Florida. Fred took me aside one afternoon and told me, “I like you, kid and since I’m taking your roommate and I’m pretty sure you can’t afford this beach rental on your own, why not come on out to Florida? I’ll find you a place to stay, give you a job and you’ll be surrounded by naked women”. So I loaded up my truck and moved to Paradise. Lakes, that is. Swimmin’ pools. Porno stars. (insert banjo solo here).

I wake up every morning (well almost every morning) knowing that today is a wonderful gift to be unwrapped and explored. I believe that every day is filled with limitless possibilities and endless abundance. I’m convinced that our true purpose in life is to interact with our fellow beings and give witness to this amazing universe that surrounds us.

If you are searching for miracles in life, you need go no farther than your backyard to realize that we are living in the midst of the greatest miracle of all.