Alright, so my baby's father has been completely MIA for nearly a month, so yesterday I went to the courthouse to file for paternity (which I was planning to do even if he was talking to me, and told him he could either fill out the paperwork, tell me he wanted a DNA test and convince me he'd actually fill out the paperwork after we got the DNA test, or come to court and do it there.)

Everything I looked up about the process, including both the county court's website, the state's family court website, and people who have done this, all told me the exact same process. This was:

1. Go to the courthouse and file a petition for paternity
2. Receive two copies of the petition, a summons, and an affidavit of service
3. Serve the summons and petition (have someone else do it) to the father
4. Come to court on the date on the summons

Easy peasy. NOPE.

I went to court and filled out the petition and the (really unhelpful) woman working there just like...took it and was like "ok bye".
I was like "....what do I do now."
"come to court"
"when?"
"you'll get a date in the mail."

So...will I just get a summons or something in the mail? And if that's how it works, why does everything explaining the process say that a) I'd be leaving family court with a lot more paperwork and b) you can't serve a family court summons via the mail?

Also, if no one's home to get the father's mail (which is likely the case), and they leave a notice to go to the post office, I highly doubt he'd go pick it up. What happens if he never receives the mail?

__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy

If so, in my experience working with this stuff, he's assumed, by the court, to be the father and to be liable for child support. It's incumbent on him, then, to file to prove he is NOT the father.

Here we have state child enforcement officials/attorneys whose job it is to pursue fathers for child support. Most jurisdictions I've been in contact with have the same. You might do some checking into that. They're more focused on child support issues than clerks, who can get pretty jaded.

__________________In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. ~Buddha

Stupid is the most notoriously incurable and contagious disease known to mankind. If you find yourself in close proximity to someone infected with stupid, walk away as soon as said infection is noted.

There are few things more nauseating than pure obedience. ~ Kvothe

***8206;"silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation."
— Rumi
Be a god. Know when to shut up.

Nope, the baby isn't born, and yes, they will do it before the baby is born...I can not put the baby's father's name on the birth certificate in this state. Only he can do that IF he's at the hospital at the birth or fills out the paperwork and sends it in afterwards (which I don't believe he'll do).

If I go to this trial, and he admits he's the father (which he hasn't denied so far, but I wouldn't be surprised or remotely offended if he requested one), I will get an order which will allow me to put him on the birth certificate. If he requests DNA, the case will be adjourned for 6 to 8 months. So, I can do it now and expect to go back to court a few weeks after the baby comes, or wait until it's born and have to wait 6 to 8 months after that.

Or....that's what the state/county websites and every other resource I could find has said. Unfortunately, those also all said I'd be getting the summons, petition, and affidavit in person...which I didn't.

__________________
"My favorite color is green, green like newly cut grass. When it comes to green with envy, though, you can stick it up your @ss!" ~ Grammy