Uber alles no, but Uber most: That works

District Attorney George
Gascón says Uber’s background checks went back only seven years.

Photo: Carolyn Said, The Chronicle

Uber has a current valuation of $50 billion (unless the economy totally went south since breakfast), and it may need all of it to battle with various government agencies for the right to ignore all regulations forever.

Governments like regulations; it’s what they’re in business to do. I like regulations too, because they level the playing field between, say, ordinary consumers of water and those who would sicken them by dumping toxic chemicals into the lakes and rivers. But Uber wishes to construct its own reality, and we’ll have to see how that works.

But I have to say I experienced an unpleasant whistling in my ears when I read about the latest attempt by the district attorneys of Los Angeles and San Francisco to attack Uber on the grounds that some of its drivers are sex offenders, identity thieves, burglars, kidnappers and at least one murderer. Scary stuff.

The problem, announced by San Francisco District Attorney George Gascón at what The Chronicle terms a “hastily called” press conference, was that Uber’s background checks went back only seven years, and deeper analysis revealed the true evil that lurked in the hearts of the men (and women) currently driving, well, your next Uber ride.

But here’s the thing: These people have kept their noses clean for seven years. Against all odds, they have turned their lives around, at least to the point of not getting arrested. They have turned to one of the few places that offers marginalized citizens a chance to earn money.

It’s real hard to get a job if you’re a felon. The majority of job applications ask, “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” If you answer yes, you’re toast (except in San Francisco). And there are restrictions on receiving various sorts of public money, and even if felons get Section 8 housing, their landlords will probably run a background check on them and refuse to rent.

It does not seem very rational. After someone has paid their “debt to society” (calculated by multiplying their level of poverty by the number of disabling diseases they have), they are released into the world. Why should they still be second-class citizens?

Why do we punish after we punish? Why do we believe in rehabilitation as a concept but not as a matter of public policy? It’s like we’ve decided to build a Wheel o’ Despair and forced millions of people to spin around in it for our private amusement. Maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves.

I’m sure if you put the question of rehabilitation to Gascón in a different context, he’d be all for it. But when it’s time to blow the Fear Trumpet at Uber, it’s also time to forget all that high-minded stuff and go for the jugular.

Scapegoating of poor people is not a new thing. But perhaps in the Ed Lee administration, which seems content with bending over (frontward or backward, their choice) for real estate developers, Uber’s generous campaign contributions may not be enough. Maybe Uber should build a 50-story building instead. Felons could at least enjoy the tiny dark park at the base.

In other news: I just want to make it clear that I do not support killing lions for sport. Actually, I don’t believe in killing any animals for sport, but lions particularly. I love lions and otters and polar bears, and so do all of you.

I believe I did say that this uproar over the killing of Cecil the lion was a little too much Internet sensation and a lot too little dealing with the problem. The media has now gone on to something else, some other engine of outrage, and the people working to protect large animals in Africa are back to their usual levels of funding and attention.

A lot of other species, the kind without fur or sad brown eyes, face extinction as well. Amazonian insects, for instance, or salmon, or cranes — varieties of each are critically endangered. But pile up a hundred salmon heads, and no one gets upset. Instead, they say, mm, salmon.

Not only that: Bucci’s, the longtime Italian restaurant in Emeryville, is closing at the end of September. Bucci’s was never a critics’ darling — its menu was as unchanging as a Kabuki play — but it served a fine pizza, and the other entrees under new chef Ema Kye were yummy and impressively vertical.

The light in the restaurant at lunchtime is incredible; really high ceilings and large windows will do that. Amelia Bucci, universally called just Bucci, is one of the three people who opened the place 30 years or so ago, and she still prowls the dining room smiling and noticing.

I’m gonna miss Bucci’s. I eat there about 40 times a year, always with the same person, always at the same table. Restaurants are transient entities, I understand that, but I take it personally when they disappear. Vaya con dios, Bucci.

“’Tis so,” said the Duchess: “and the moral of that is — Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes the world go around jcarroll@sfchronicle.com

Jon Carroll has been a San Francisco Chronicle columnist for 35 years. Before that he was a magazine editor. He's won awards doing both things. He writes about cats, politics, children, religion, more cats, travel, word games and strange, almost unknowable things. He was born in Los Angeles of hardy native stock.