TOBY-DOG

What’s that?

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Nothing. An Oriental proverb. If I wished,
dog, to disturb the silence of this room I’d
be clever enough to choose a rickety chair; its feet
would pound out a regular tic-toc, tic-toc, tic-toc,
in time with my tongue as I washed myself. It’s
a means I’ve invented to gain my liberty.
Tic-toc, tic-toc, says the chair. She happens
to be reading or writing, is easily irritated, and
cries, “Be quiet, Kiki!” But I go on unconscious
of any wrong-doing; tic-toc, tic-toc. She jumps
up distracted and opens the door wide for me:
slowly, like one exiled, I cross its threshold and
once outside, laugh to find myself so superior to
them all.

TOBY-DOG, (who hasn’t been listening, yawns)

What a sad week, eh? I don’t know what
it is to take a walk any more. I haven’t
taken any pleasure in eating either, since She fell
from her horse.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

Heavens, one can love people and care for one’s
stomach too.

TOBY-DOG, (with ardor)

Not I! When She screamed and fell from her horse,
I felt the heart crack inside me.

KIKI-THE-DEMURE

That affair couldn’t have ended otherwise.
One doesn’t go climbing up on a horse!
People don’t do such things! I see nothing
but extravagance around me. To begin with, a
horse is a fearful monstrosity.

TOBY-DOG, (indignantly)

Did one ever hear the like!

KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (peremptorily)

I happen to have had the opportunity of making a very
close study of one....