Monday, January 31, 2005

Nightmare on Jackson Street

"These events have caused a nightmare for my family, my children and me," Michael Jackson, 46, said in a court-approved video statement. "I never intend to place myself in so vulnerable a position again."

Residents of the Folsom State Men's Correctional Facility disagreed strongly. Fenton Markley [auto theft/assault], 42, said, "We have plenty of vulnerable positions for him when he gets here. I'm thinkin' face down on the bottom bunk, for starters. 'Course we're liable to get more creative once we get to know each other better."