How can I please her myself?

Vibrators are really good for helping women to reach orgasm but, as you describe, can make the man in her life feel a bit redundant. Here are some ideas to help you.

1. Try using the vibrator for the mid stages of arousal only. Once she is turned on, use your fingers to caress and rub her until she is close to orgasm. Oral sex at this stage is also highly stimulating.

2. Ask her to hold the vibrator on her clitoris while you caress her vaginal lips and breasts. Use loads of lubrication and tease her with harder and softer caresses.

3. Use a vibrator that you can wear on your finger. Go to www.emotionalbliss.co.uk for the discreet Isis or Chandra vibe that you can use to stimulate her whilst also caressing the rest of her body. This will feel much less intrusive than a large vibrator that she needs to hold.

4. Spend lots of time on love play before attempting intercourse. Caress her clitoris with your fingers and tongue, listen to what she finds arousing and take her close to orgasm several times before she enjoys her climax. This stop/start technique intensifies arousal and orgasm.

Overall, the best technique is to slow things down and spend lots of time getting to penetration or orgasm. This will allow her natural arousal pattern to kick in so that the vibrator plays less of a role and you feel more involved.