Saturday, February 11, 2006

"An End To All This", Cries Frozen Lower Blogosphere

The amount of free radicals in the atmosphere around the Frozen Lower Blogosphere give rise to new questions concerning mortality and what I term "the soul." It's been known for a really, really, really long time that the collapse of the Sub-Blogosphere last November that the Frozen Lower Blogosphere was on its last legs. Once Roboshrub Inc. rose to dominate the Upper and Middle Blogosphere with its corporate entrails, it was just a matter of time before the Frozen Lower Blogosphere lost enough eco-matter to preserve itself against invasion and disrepair.

The gardens go untended. The sheep unshaven. The gravitational matrix orbits ever closer to us, and we've lost the will to fight it. I am Gyrobo. I am become blogger. I am here today, to tell all of the former glory of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere. This was a place of joy. A place of sorrow. A place of redemption. Of rebirth. This once-great land was the bane of old Evil Bob Dole, and later his supplicant, King Evil Robo-Bob Dole. The Anonymi once swirled their ethereal tendrils in play. Karl would quietly cast spells in the corner, and occasionally try criminals and take constitutional issues under the Board of Judicial Justice and Funny Hats.

But that was in the Old Time. The New Time has no time for that. The Frozen Lower Blogosphere is coming to its natural conclusion. As I sit here, writing this, I can feel it quake around me. It knows the end is near. And it knows that there are only three fates that await every blog: perpetual useage, abandonment, or deletion. I can... sense... the Frozen Lower Blogosphere doesn't want to be deleted. It wan't to be remembered always. The things it has accomplished, the ties that bind us, all a monument to its own greatness. But... its goal is not yet complete. The Frozen Lower Blogo- it's speaking through me!