Maternity leave notice? Scared to tell!

So I’m a first time mom and first time teacher and I’m scared to tell the school that just hired me that I’m pregnant and will be taking 12 weeks of maternity leave. I’m not eligible for fmla bc this is a brand new job for me but under ca law I know that I am allowed to take 12 weeks. I’m planning on bringing a drs note so it can be documented but I’m not sure who/when I should say anything. I’m meeting my principal for the first time this week so was wondering should I tell them then or should I tell hr department 1st? Or should I wait a few weeks until they’ve gotten to know me to tell? My leave won’t be until jan? I want the conversation to go smoothly and well. Any teachers or moms have any advice?

Comments (14)

I’m not a teacher. But I always tel, my boss first, then either they tell HR or I do.

I also always say tell early. Especially being a teacher your work can’t just be divided between 10 colleagues - they need to find a long term sub for you. And really they have 2 months to do that because after October the holidays kick in and time runs away.

Where I work, I tell HR Dept first. They have a maternity leave form that I fill out and I can also request it staying confidential. I assume hr tells the boss because why wouldn't they? But as a teacher, you should tell the principal as well so They can know what to plan on for subs and stuff.

They will appreciate it if you are up front and tell them early. I imagine finding a long-term sub can be difficult and if I were them I would be pissed if I get like you’d kept the news secret for your own benefit...

I am a first time mom and first year teacher as well. I actually told HR during the hiring process this summer because I wanted to make sure I could get some time off since I don't qualify for FMLA (and don't live in CA). Due to the nature of the relationship between teachers and principals (as well as among other teachers), I think it's helpful for others to know sooner rather than later to be able to be more supportive/understanding. We also have an opportunity to show that, although we will be on maternity leave in the middle of the school year and have babies on the way on our minds, we are still working hard and well leading up to that time.

It makes sense to be nervous. I also think there's a lot of potential to feel relief once your school knows.

How long will you wait before you tell them? I’m not a teacher, but I was in a similar situation as you: I started a new job during my first trimester, didn’t tell them about my pregnancy during the interview/hiring (since I was still in first trimester), and I was nervous when/how to share the news. I told myself I’d wait as long as possible — until my NIPT results came back all clear — and that way, my company would have time to get to know me, my work ethic, and talent BEFORE making unfounded judgments based on the fact that I’m pregnant. I finally shared the news with my company a couple days ago, at 16 weeks. I told my boss first, and he was supportive, though I could tell he had some anxiety about it. My conversation with HR went surprisingly much better — very supportive, congratulatory, and reassuring.

My tips for when you share the news:
1. Do NOT apologize. Apologizing gives your boss the impression you think you did something wrong. You’ve done nothing wrong. Be excited, and that will set the tone for how they will react.

2. Reiterate your commitment to your job and the school, and reassure them of your intention to come back to work after your leave (although don’t make any promises.) Tell then you’ll love this baby, but you love your job, too. And you’ll work hard to keep both in your life.

3. They probably won’t, but if they do ask you “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” You have two options. A) “I wanted to wait until I knew this pregnancy was completely viable before sharing the news.” Or B) Turn the question around on them: “Are you suggesting that knowing I was pregnant would have affected your decision to hire me?” Cutthroat, I know. But this will have them sweating that they’re treading into pregnancy discrimination lawsuit territory, and they’ll back off.

If I could have done anything differently, I just wouldn’t have told them how far along I was. Their eyes popped out of their heads when I said “16 weeks.” Instead, just tell them your due date. They won’t do the math to figure out how long you’ve been keeping this a secret.

How long will you wait before you tell them? I’m not a teacher, but I was i...

Posted
08/09/2018

How long will you wait before you tell them? I’m not a teacher, but I was in a similar situation as you: I started a new job during my first trimester, didn’t tell them about my pregnancy during the interview/hiring (since I was still in first trimester), and I was nervous when/how to share the news. I told myself I’d wait as long as possible — until my NIPT results came back all clear — and that way, my company would have time to get to know me, my work ethic, and talent BEFORE making unfounded judgments based on the fact that I’m pregnant. I finally shared the news with my company a couple days ago, at 16 weeks. I told my boss first, and he was supportive, though I could tell he had some anxiety about it. My conversation with HR went surprisingly much better — very supportive, congratulatory, and reassuring.

My tips for when you share the news:
1. Do NOT apologize. Apologizing gives your boss the impression you think you did something wrong. You’ve done nothing wrong. Be excited, and that will set the tone for how they will react.

2. Reiterate your commitment to your job and the school, and reassure them of your intention to come back to work after your leave (although don’t make any promises.) Tell then you’ll love this baby, but you love your job, too. And you’ll work hard to keep both in your life.

3. They probably won’t, but if they do ask you “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” You have two options. A) “I wanted to wait until I knew this pregnancy was completely viable before sharing the news.” Or B) Turn the question around on them: “Are you suggesting that knowing I was pregnant would have affected your decision to hire me?” Cutthroat, I know. But this will have them sweating that they’re treading into pregnancy discrimination lawsuit territory, and they’ll back off.

If I could have done anything differently, I just wouldn’t have told them how far along I was. Their eyes popped out of their heads when I said “16 weeks.” Instead, just tell them your due date. They won’t do the math to figure out how long you’ve been keeping this a secret.

Good luck to you!

Love this. Just told my boss at 17 weeks. I informed them and politely let them know my plans for maternity leave and how long I will be taking. Thanks for sharing such strong points

I would probably tell sooner rather than later. As for who to tell, I’m not sure. I’m in a different country and our education system may be different. I will be telling our principal directly and next week 😬 nervous as hell about it! But it’s a normal and nothing to apologize for x

I haven't told my job yet although it's completely obvious. I work in higher education and it's a busy time for us currently. I'm not afraid to tell them, it's just our office has been super slammed. It's quite funny that non of them have mentioned my growing belly but as soon as the first day of class starts then I will tell them my due date. But I'm sure they will say "We noticed." This is my first time being pregnant while working this job (I've been here almost 9 yrs), so it will be my first time taking maternity leave so it's all new to me but I did get my FMLA papers from our HR department and have notified them. I am currently 19 weeks (tomorrow) so I think it's still plenty of time for my job to make plans on coverage for me. Good Luck with telling your boss, I'm sure they will be okay. Babies are a blessing & you shouldn't be scared, be excited.

I’m a teacher. Usually you tell your direct supervisor first and then HR. Tell them when you feel comfortable. I told my boss at 12 weeks both time, but it wasn’t my first year. You could also ask other teachers you’re comfortable with the procedure.

How long will you wait before you tell them? I’m not a teacher, but I was i...

Posted
08/09/2018

How long will you wait before you tell them? I’m not a teacher, but I was in a similar situation as you: I started a new job during my first trimester, didn’t tell them about my pregnancy during the interview/hiring (since I was still in first trimester), and I was nervous when/how to share the news. I told myself I’d wait as long as possible — until my NIPT results came back all clear — and that way, my company would have time to get to know me, my work ethic, and talent BEFORE making unfounded judgments based on the fact that I’m pregnant. I finally shared the news with my company a couple days ago, at 16 weeks. I told my boss first, and he was supportive, though I could tell he had some anxiety about it. My conversation with HR went surprisingly much better — very supportive, congratulatory, and reassuring.

My tips for when you share the news:
1. Do NOT apologize. Apologizing gives your boss the impression you think you did something wrong. You’ve done nothing wrong. Be excited, and that will set the tone for how they will react.

2. Reiterate your commitment to your job and the school, and reassure them of your intention to come back to work after your leave (although don’t make any promises.) Tell then you’ll love this baby, but you love your job, too. And you’ll work hard to keep both in your life.

3. They probably won’t, but if they do ask you “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” You have two options. A) “I wanted to wait until I knew this pregnancy was completely viable before sharing the news.” Or B) Turn the question around on them: “Are you suggesting that knowing I was pregnant would have affected your decision to hire me?” Cutthroat, I know. But this will have them sweating that they’re treading into pregnancy discrimination lawsuit territory, and they’ll back off.

If I could have done anything differently, I just wouldn’t have told them how far along I was. Their eyes popped out of their heads when I said “16 weeks.” Instead, just tell them your due date. They won’t do the math to figure out how long you’ve been keeping this a secret.

Good luck to you!

Great points! This was so helpful! Thanks for the advise! I will go ahead and tell them ASAP but just mention my due date and dates of leave. Thanks again!

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