A drunk man sat down on the Tube next to a priest. His tie was stained, his face plastered with lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin stuck out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes he turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, does God cause arthritis?"

The priest replied, "No, my son. Arthritis is caused by loose living, being with wild, wicked women, too much alcohol, and the lack of a bath."

"Well, I'll be damned," replied the man, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had just said, nudged the man and said. "I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father," replied the man. "I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Atheist Quote of the Day

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the text book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right text book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.