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It pains me a little to do this, but I'm sharing with you the best homemade Butterbeer that you can make. I have perfected my recipe through trial and error the last four years and I'm giving away all of my secrets for your next Potter party!

INGREDIENTS:

This is for a party-size serving.

(2) 2 Liter Bottle of Cream Soda - any brand is fine

(1) Tub of Extra Creamy CoolWhip

And my super secret ingredient -

Mrs. Richardson's Butterscotch Caramel:

DIRECTIONS:

1. I like to put some cream soda into an ice cube tray and freeze it ahead of time. This ensures that the Butterbeer stays cold without getting watered down with regular ice. - Optional, but you can also blend the ice cubes into the Butterbeer to get a more slush-like consistency.

With a hand mixer:

2. Pour both bottles of cream soda into a large bowl.

3. Slowly add in Mrs Richardson's Butterscotch Caramel, 17 oz - this is not an exact science. I usually will taste it along the way, but I tend to put about half of a bottle (I never said this was a diet-friendly recipe!).
4. Blend thoroughly with a hand mixer. Make sure that you get the caramel along the edges.
5. Optional: add some CoolWhip into the bowl and mix it as well - this creates extra foam, which everyone knows is the best part of Butterbeer!
6. Add CoolWhip into the serving bowl when the party begins. It will slowly melt, making sure that there is consistent foam and adding to the taste.

With a blender:

2. Pour both bottles of cream soda (or as much as you can fit) into a blender.

3. Slowly add in Mrs Richardson's Butterscotch Caramel, 17 oz - this is not an exact science. I usually will taste it along the way, but I tend to put about half of a bottle (I never said this was a diet-friendly recipe!).
4. Use the blend button to mix the drink thoroughly. Even with my Ninja blender, I often have to stop and use a knife to scrape the caramel off of the edges.
5. Optional: add some CoolWhip into the bowl and mix it as well - this creates extra foam, which everyone knows is the best part of Butterbeer!
6. Add CoolWhip into the serving bowl when the party begins. It will slowly melt, making sure that there is consistent foam and adding to the taste.

When putting your Butterbeer into your cup, add some CoolWhip on top and drizzle caramel over it. It may be a little messy, but it is so yummy.

"Prophets of God have continually counseled His children to dress modestly." - For the Strength of Youth

Modesty is an important aspect of the gospel, but it should be emphasized to men as much as it is emphasized to women.

Notice it says God's children. Not God's daughters, but God's children. Each and every one of us.

Boys at BYU should get in as much trouble for wearing shorts that hit above the knee as girls at BYU do. It says in the honor code under both sections that "shorts must be knee-length or longer." And that's the tea.

Let's stop saying "Modest is the hottest."

Showing modesty while still prioritizing on appealing others is not modesty. Focusing on being hot defeats the purpose of modesty, and still objectifies the individual (which we can safely assume is a young woman, since I've never heard of this cutesy phrase being said to young men in regards to their own dress). Yes, most people want to be considered attractive by others, but we shouldn't encourage modesty for the sake of other's opinions.

Women are ABSOLUTELY 100% NEVER EVER responsible for a man's "impure thoughts" (and although less common of an accusation, vice versa).

We are all responsible for our own thoughts. Enforcing ridiculously strict high school dress codes so that "girls aren't a distraction" implies that these young women are responsible for the inappropriate things that boys choose to dwell on when they see a human shoulder.

Stop judging what other people wear. Because guess what? Judgment doesn't help anyone involved come closer to God.

We are commanded to love. I have been very guilty of judging others' dress in the past, but thankfully, I'm not the one that God wants on the judgment seat (and neither are you). So stop it.

If people want to wear leggings as pants, let them!!!!!!

Who cares!! Why are you so offended by someone else's comfort? Jeans don't stay up on me, even with a belt. My body has too many lumps. Leggings are about the only thing that I don't have to adjust every ten minutes, so I'm going to wear them when I can. And I'm not doing it so guys can check me out, believe me.

Modesty does not only apply to your clothing - it has to do with your words and your actions too! Take all into consideration.

Formal dresses with sleeves really should not cost four times more than those without.

Just because someone doesn't dress to your standards DOES NOT MEAN that their testimony is any smaller or that God loves them any less. We all have commandments that we struggle with and thank goodness God loves us still.

Modesty is great! I'm all for clothes that "improve you and would give you confidence standing in the presence of God" (Jefrrey R. Holland). I'm not going to judge anyone who follow's the Dress & Appearance outlined in For the Strength of Youth, but I'm also not going to judge anyone who doesn't.

We have been told to respect our bodies. We have been told to take care of ourselves and dress well to show our understanding of just how dang precious our bodies are. This is absolutely NOT a bad thing. I am not trying to discourage you from following the Church's teachings - I'm just saying that you should try your best to do it for the right reasons, and don't worry about others who aren't following your example. Just LOVE. Simply put, that's all that is asked of us.

Depression knocked on our front door last night.
I didn't answer, but he invited himself in anyway.
This morning when I woke, Depression was there. He held me down in bed and pleaded, "just stay." It was a pretty compelling argument - it's not hard to convince me to sleep.

I'm getting to the point where I can no longer remember what my life was like before Depression became my unwanted guest.

He's there when I look in the mirror. He whispers to me, "You keep gaining weight."
He's there when I sit down at work. He says, "You've done nothing with your career."
He's with me even at church, which should be my respite. He tells me, "You don't belong here."
He's there when I'm alone, reminding me, "You're alone for a reason."

Depression, I want you to meet your new match:

It's ya girl, McKay STRONG.

McKay will still gladly nap, but she's going to put up a fight.
She's going to get out of bed each morning and feed Fonzie. She's going to brush her teeth and maybe, just maybe put on mascara (no promises though).
She's going to post as many selfies as she wants, because it makes her feel good and she needs all of the good that she can get.
She's going to write out her feelings and admit that she can't always be an optimist. She is going to create more art and use the mental health resources available to her.
McKay is going to drink more water. She's going to try and find a way to make salad herself that actually tastes good.
She is going to take classes that she always wanted to take. She is going to cry when she needs to and enjoy nature more and maybe-try-to-think-about working out.
McKay is going to appreciate the people in her life. She is going to LOVE more, and, most importantly, McKay is going to give you a run for your money.

Depression, you may be a permanent guest in my life, but that doesn't mean I have to welcome you in.

You have made the hardest trials even more unbearable (which I thought was impossible), and you have let the doubts creep into the happiest of days.
I can only do so much to fight you, but I'm not about to give up. I am stronger than you and I am not going anywhere.

The biggest bone that I have to pick with J.K. Rowling has entirely to do with the epilogue in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
(If you're by some chance reading this J.K., I love your series, you're amazingly creative, and thank you for helping me in more ways than you could ever imagine (but I still stand by the following)).

It pains me to watch Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows.
At the end of Half-Blood Prince, when Malfoy has disarmed Dumbledore in order to kill him, Dumbledore whispers to Snape, "Please." In Deathly Hallows, it comes to light that Dumbledore wasn't begging Snape not to kill him, but rather he was begging Snape to kill him. I cannot imagine the inner turmoil and pain that Severus must've felt in this moment. He had very little (if any) true friends other than Dumbledore. He knew that the Order and the Hogwarts students wouldn't trust him any longer. He knew that he very well may die without anyone knowing the truth - that Dumbledore had asked him to do this. Dumbledore had pleaded for the unimaginable in order for Harry to be able to face Voldemort and Snape to gain the Dark Lord's trust. And Severus did begrudgingly agreed.

But let us not forget: Severus Snape chose to become a Death Eater. Whereas it can be argued that Draco Malfoy was essentially forced into his prejudice against less-than-pureblood wizards, Snape's father was a muggle. His mother was willing (and we can assume at some point excited) to marry his father regardless, so it's safe to infer that Snape wasn't taught this hatred in his childhood home. Although he was placed into Slytherin house, he chose to align himself with the pure-blood supremacists (and we know that not all Slytherins have to end up evil, e.g. Slughorn).Nothingmade Severus Snape want to leave Voldemort's side until Lily's safety came into question. Although in the movie we are shown that Snape begged Dumbledore to protect Lily, James, and Harry, in the book we learn that he only asked for Lily to be saved. In my not-so-humble opinion, Severus did not truly love Lily. Yes, he turned around his life to protect her, but he didn't care about saving the two people that she loved the most: James and Harry. Snape did not see the error of his ways, rather, he just wanted the woman that he loved to continue to live. He promised Dumbledore to do anything for him in order for Lily to survive.

And so Snape's allegiance changed. He and Dumbledore trusted each other (more than anyone that has ever existed ever, if you ask me). Snape was willing to kill Dumbledore. Snape was willing to stay at Hogwarts in order to protect the students during Voldemort's reign. He was killed by Voldemort even though he knew that his death would be fruitless for the Dark Lord.

Before the Battle of Hogwarts, however, Severus spent years terrorizing students. My boy Neville Longbottom was so dang terrified of Professor Snape that his boggart turned into him - showing that his literal greatest fear was his potions professor. I've disliked teachers, but I've never been that afraid of one. Neville's nerves aside, Snape consistently referred to individual Hogwarts students as idiots. He took a personal childhood vendetta and escalated it, attempting to "out" Remus Lupin as a werewolf. He showed a ridiculous amount of favoritism to his own house and a ridiculous amount of prejudice against Gryffindors, especially Harry. All because Harry looked like his father who had bullied him as a child.
Now, I'm not saying that James was a great man either. But one might argue that James - who, if you calculate the information that we're given throughout the series, was probably about 21-years-old when he died - matured. He grew up. He got married and started a family. He was in the Order and fought against Voldemort, which ended up getting him killed.

And Snape was still a Death Eater. He was a talented wizard with amazing potential, but he threw it away to become a supremacist (sound familiar, anyone? (I'm talking about Voldemort here)). He was mad that Dumbledore did not "protect" Lily (which he couldn't, because of Peter Pettigrew's big mouth), but he kept to his promise (and I have to give him props for that). But while looking out for Harry (like when Quirrel tried to knock him off his broom), Snape couldn't let go of his CHILDHOOD BITTERNESS. He constantly shamed him, punished him, and showed his deep resentment towards him. One might argue that he was emotionally abusive to his students, and in particular, Harry.

Now look - I am probably the biggest grudge holder that I know. It is not easy me to forget when I have been wronged, but I'd like to think that I would never take this out on a child. I can happily state that I am not a member of the KKK (which, if you hadn't noticed, is eerily similar to the Death Eaters). Even with my countless flaws, I'd like to think that if I were in Severus's shoes, I would be a better man.

And this brings me back to the epilogue of the entire series: out of all of the men that Harry could've named his son after, he chose the worst two men in his life.
I've already written about my feelings towards Dumbledore, but Severus did not deserve this honor either. He spent his adulthood killing and torturing, and then manipulating and abusing. J.K. Rowling does a good job at establishing character flaws, but I'd argue that many other wizards deserved for Harry's child to be named after them.
What about Remus, who taught you how to protect yourself and died for you? What about Sirius, who came to your aid when you needed it most? What about Arthur, who welcomed you into his family as one of his own? What about Dobby, who lived a life of servitude (and no, I don't care if Dobby is a weird name for a human boy)? What about Rubeus, the purest of men and arguably the one who acted the most as a father to you?But despite all that they sacrificed for your health, safety, and happiness, you chose to name your son Albus Severus Potter.

Severus Snape did not live a happy life, but it was entirely due to the choices that he made. He chose the bad, over and over and over again. And he never showed remorse for his past. So YES, Severus Snape sacrificed himself. He came to the "good side" (not really for his own change of heart, however). He did some very difficult things that Dumbledore asked him to do. But Severus Snape is no hero. He was a brave man, but not a good one.

Before Julian died, I hadn't ever really lost anyone.
My grandmother died when I was in first grade or so, but I didn't know her very well. A boy I went to middle school with succumbed to cancer when I was a senior, but we had lost touch years before. My old seminary teacher passed away suddenly a few years after he had taught me.
That was about the extent of my experience. I had always told people that the plan of happiness was real and families really could be together forever, but I had never had that knowledge tested. And God knew that.

From the spring of my senior year of high school to the spring of my freshman year of college, all four of our family pets passed away.
Pepper, our 10-year-old cat, went missing. He was an indoor/outdoor cat and he just never came back home. It was sudden and surprising, especially after he had survived a near-death experience which required him to have a feeding tube. We never expected that he would go missing. In the summer, our 17-year-old dog Leah passed away as well. That winter, the day after Christmas, my sweet, sweet baby girl Fatty - Pepper's sister - had to be put down. She had been sick for a few weeks but I begged my mom not to put her down until I was home for Christmas. As soon as I saw her, I spent all night SOBBING. She was in such bad shape and I knew what had to be done. Early next spring, my mom's favorite child (and dog) Lukie had to be put down as well.
If you're not an animal person, it may be hard to comprehend how impactful this all was. These creatures had been a member of our family for a long time - some almost as long as I had been alive. They were loved, cherished, and spoiled. We are animal people, and to lose not one but four of our "family members" in such a short period was difficult to say the least.

In 2007, J.K. Rowling released the final installment of the Harry Potter series: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

"He felt his heart pounding fiercely in his chest. How strange that in his dread of death, it pumped all the harder, valiantly keeping him alive. But it would have to stop, and soon. Its beats were numbered. How many would there be time for, as he rose and walked through the castle for the last time, out into the grounds and into the Forest?"

In the final Battle of Hogwarts, Harry learns that he must let Voldemort kill him. He was left the resurrection stone by Professor Dumbledore, and as he walked to his death, he turned the stone thrice in his hands. His mother, father, Sirius, and Remus all appeared to him. He asks why they are there, and he is told that they never have left.
As Harry gathers the courage to meet his end, he tells them, "Stay close to me." His mom simply responds, "Always."
I'm currently re-reading the Harry Potter series (if you can't tell by all of the Harry Potter blogposts lately), and I am reminded how poignant this scene was. Harry - who has lived a life full of pain, heartbreak, and loss - is surrounded by the ones that he loved, even the ones that he never had a chance to know. And he is told that they have always been there with him and they always will be.
If you knew me as a child (I still feel like one but that's irrelevant), you know that Harry Potter was my life. I am not exaggerating. I read the books and watched the movies constantly. I wore Hogwarts shirts near-daily and sorted everyone that I knew. I threw Harry Potter parties and when characters in the series died, I cried like I lost a friend.

It may seem silly, but looking back, I know that God was preparing me. I hadn't truly experienced bereavement until my sister died, but God was slowly and surely helping me learn to cope. I lost my fur friends. I lost my fictional friends. And it hurt. I saw my mom cope with the loss of her "fur babies." I saw Harry face heartache after heartache, and yet, he persisted. I read over and over again about how the ones who love us never really leave us.

When Julian passed away, I was blindsided. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. But, because of my childhood filled with boy wizards and animal siblings, somewhere deep down (like really deep down at the time), I must've known that I'd be okay. And for that I am eternally grateful.