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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

We talked on Sunday night at the Stirring about the least. Dan seriously threw down. No joke, that man has a heart for the least. I'm not sure about all of you out there in blog world, but the least can look very different for every person. When hearing that phrase, "the least" I think some see a homeless man, some see battered and bruised women, some see the addicts, and some see themselves. When I hear that phrase, I see children. Most of you know of my heart for children. I'm working my tail off right now to get my teaching credential so that I can make a difference in the lives of children for years to come (hopefully!). On any given Sunday night, you can find me hanging out with the kids, and I couldn't be happier. So I guess it makes sense that when I think of the least, I think of children. That's why I think it touches me so much to hear about Dan and Alyssa's story of the adoption of their two beautiful children Zeke and Sofia. I cry every time I hear this story. It touches my heart so much, and I am overwhelmed by the passion God has given me for these over looked and voiceless children. Monday night, some women at the Stirring put on an amazing night of worship geared toward the women serving at the Stirring. The entire time I'm on my knees worshiping God, and the faces of these children are burning in my mind. I find myself thinking about them all day. I lose myself in the dreams that I have for them. But where do I start? How do I go about changing the lives of these neglected children? I am continuously asking God this question, and tonight He told me to speak. That was it, that's all He gave me. Speak. So, against my better judgment, this blog is my first lame attempt at speaking. I'm not sure where it will get me, and I'm not sure if this is even what God wants, but I've got to start somewhere, right?

Monday, September 29, 2008

I know it's been a while since my last confession... #1 was my obsession with brushing my teeth. I know, weird right? #2 was my unrealistic fear of trains.... makes me shudder just thinking about it. And drum roll please... confession #3 is my freaky fascination with vacuuming. Ask my roommates, it's true. I could vacuum every single day for the rest of my life. I find it rather therapeutic to be totally honest. I know what you're thinking... what could be so appealing about vacuuming? To most it's just another chore to check off the list, but to me it's a hobby (okay, maybe that's a bit much... an obsession? A source of enjoyment? I dunno...). I love the feeling of clean carpet under my toes. I love the enjoyment I get when I clean out the filter. I love the look of the perfectly straight lines the vacuum leaves in the carpet. I love the smell in the house after vacuuming. I could go on and on... I guess for me it's just such an easy way to make any room look better. In my book, clean = happy! So, if I have clean floors, I'm HAPPY! Ahh, I think I'll go re-vacuum my living room. Until next time...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Annette has been my best friend since Kindergarten. We bonded over finger paints and story time on the carpet. Her house was the first house I ever spent the night at. She would never let me play with her Polly Pockets... so when she left the room, I would sneak them out from their not-so-safe hiding spot under the bed and get my fix. We used to fight like sisters. Sometimes, we still do. Annette has been through some hard times with me. Jr. High was no cake walk for either of us, but we had each other, so not much else mattered.

When we got into high school, we kind of went our own ways. I was on the soccer and basketball team for all four years, and found a new circle of friends there. It was never like we had some huge fight, and never talked to each other after that, it was just one of those things that just kind of happen. No hard feelings. We went through all four years of high school without really talking to one another, but on the day I was leaving Arcata for Redding, I randomly called her to say good-bye. I guess God knew we needed each other in this new chapter of life, because from that day on, we rediscovered our friendship and it was like we had never skipped a beat. We picked up right where we left off. I remember it so clearly, it seemed like nothing had changed at all. Four years of our lives had gone by, but we were still able to fall into place in the others life. We knew each other so well. I was the only person who could really calm her down, and she was the only person who could really push my buttons.

Annette is the best friend I'll ever have. I find myself speechless when I try to describe her, because she is just Annette. We are so much alike, yet so opposite at the same time. I love her, and don't tell her nearly enough. How many people can say they've had a best friend since Kindergarten? Our friendship grows stronger with each year that passes. We're more like sister in all honesty. Here are a few pictures of us from the years we've spent together. I'm trying to talk her into moving to Redding... that would be the best day of my life.

Monday, September 15, 2008

It's crazy, sometimes, to look back and realize just how far you've come. Many of you didn't know me two years ago, but if you did, you can attest to just how different I've become. It was only two years ago that I came to know Jesus. I was a 21 year old just living the day-to-day, not really sure why I was put on this out of control planet. I had been in a series of unsuccessful and semi-abusive relationships, lived with a number of discouraging and bitter roommates, and lived a rather self-destructive lifestyle. That all changed the day I went to my first Life Group. I still remember so many details... it was a Tuesday night, and I had just gotten out of my math class out at the college. Kristena Hayes literally dragged me to Meghan Edwardson's women's group, where I encountered God for the first time in my entire life. That night, I revealed secrets to complete strangers that I had never even admitted to my closest friends. I was blown away by the amount of love and support these women gave me, especially because I had JUST MET THEM! That night I struggled to forgive myself for the all of the bad decisions I had made, and began to find freedom from the bondage that had once tied me down. The Tuesday nights to follow were full of tears, laughter, some more tears, forgiveness, even MORE tears, and lots of love. The change wasn't overnight, but it wasn't until last night at the Stirring that I really saw for the first time just how far I've come. We talked about loving each other, and about how important forgiveness really is. Being able to love your enemies, and pray for the ones who have hurt you the most. Now, you see, the Emily-2-years-ago would have been weeping through the entire service. That Emily would have been struggling to forgive herself still, trying to come face-to-face with the consequences of her various poor decisions. The Emily-2-years-ago would have been finally stepping out of a very dark place, into the light... she would have been totally rocked by the idea of forgiveness. But last night, I realized that I've finally forgiven myself. God has always forgiven me, but I have finally forgiven MYSELF. There is really no better feeling in the world. I was able to pray for other women last night, who were dealing with the same things Emily-2-years-ago was dealing with. I was able to speak words of truth into them, and encourage them to break free of those lies. Last night, I was able to look back, and really appreciate how for God's taken me in the last two years. Some days I still struggle with the lies I once whole heatedly believed, but Emily-2-years-ago is gone. In her place stands a confident, loving, encouraging, free Emily. I don't even recognize that old Emily... she really has no place in this New life.

Monday, September 8, 2008

First of all, last night at the Stirring was INSANE. No joke, wall-to-wall seating. There was hardly any walking room... Secondly, I'm blown away by the amount of young men and women in this town who want to show love to the Stirring Kids. The Stirring Kids sign-up sheet was full. People were seriously lined up to add their name to the list. I wanted to hug each and every one of the people who came to the table... that might have gotten a little weird tho. Maybe next week. But seriously, this has got to be some sort of a record... I'm baffled, speechless, and SO EXCITED!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Yikes, 3 days with no internet... who ever knew I would become so dependent upon the internet. I guess I have an excuse: 3 online classes at Chico... but still, I felt like I was a kid on Christmas morning today when the Charter guy showed up at my door step. I nearly threw my arms around him in appreciation! HA. Well, it's nearly midnight, and I still have 4 chapters to read for my English class tomorrow. Better get to it! Isn't school just lovely?? I'm going to leave you all with a recycled picture of my dearly loved cat Rocky. I've posted it before, but it deserves some more attention because he's just too darn cute!