Friday, May 06, 2011

More Real-Life Tucker Max Childhood Stories

In 2009 I set up a new blog to discuss Tucker Max's lies when I was unable to locate the password for this blog. Unfortunately, that new blog newer took off. I will transfer some of the posts from that blog over here. The post shown below was originally posted on the other blog in October 2009:

Some comments concerning Tucker Max's childhood have been posted on this post. These were posted by anonymous posters, so I am unable to independently verify these accounts. If anyone has any additional information regarding these incidents, please leave a comment to this post.

Anonymous said...

Tucker grew up in Lexington KY. Attended elementary school, jr. high, and the first 3 years of high school there.

In 7th grade he drew swastikas on his hands in a attempt to piss off his social studies teacher (Mr. Esrael, who, as it turned out, wasn't even jewish) This was followed by his reading "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" and declaring that, despite what we might think based on his skin tone and blond hair, really, he's black.

Then he flunked out his junior year (in addition to a scandal involving cheating on the AP U.S. History Test) and ended up at a boarding school on his daddy’s dime, repeating that year and hiding his failure well enough to get into UC.

His psychotically delusional narcissism is DECADES old.

9/29/2009 6:36 AM

Anonymous said...

I played little league with Tucker in the 5th grade. He struck out pretty much everytime he went to bat.

10/03/2009 7:10 AM

Here are pictures of Mr. Esrael and a young Tucker Max. Someone posted a link to these photos in a comment to this post. These appear to have been scanned from a class or yearbook photo.

95 comments:

What an utter tit: reputation in tatters, fanbase non-existent, called out, ragged on, reduced to lame sports commentary on twitter and *still* sniffing aroung college campus vag despite now being old enough to have fathered said vag (and then some).

Still as long as he's out there, we will be too. TMMB is dead, and his butt-licky mods no longer have a monopoly on the truth.

Is he relevant? Tough to say. Is he lying low because he needs to have everybody forget about the BS surrounding his movie debacle, or does nobody care anymore, which is why he is completely off the radar. He is certainly in decline from the 2006 book release to the present. AFF was marginally successful, but I am not sure that it will boost sales of the next book. With a '75 birth date, he will be 37 before any new project hits, and then touring the college towns becomes very creepy as the 20 plus age gap becomes more real. And then there is just the fact that poor hygiene and hard living is showing its effect. The last picture posted showed a middle aged-puffy faced guy with yellow crusty teeth. Is this what the 18 year olds are interested in today?Oh, and Nils is pretty fat.

He was mentioned on O&A the other day, but just in a "What was that douche's name again?" kinda way. He's still making appearances on college campuses (there's a couple listed on his shitty website), but whether he's booked to speak or just schilling his shitty failbook, who the fuck knows. Or cares.

Blogger was screwed up on May 12th and some comments were submitted but didn't get posted. I received email notifications of the following posts:

Is he relevant? Tough to say. Is he lying low because he needs to have everybody forget about the BS surrounding his movie debacle, or does nobody care anymore, which is why he is completely off the radar. He is certainly in decline from the 2006 book release to the present. AFF was marginally successful, but I am not sure that it will boost sales of the next book. With a '75 birth date, he will be 37 before any new project hits, and then touring the college towns becomes very creepy as the 20 plus age gap becomes more real. And then there is just the fact that poor hygiene and hard living is showing its effect. The last picture posted showed a middle aged-puffy faced guy with yellow crusty teeth. Is this what the 18 year olds are interested in today?Oh, and Nils is pretty fat.

Hey Tucker, since we know you will be reading these comments, let me ask you this: is the movie version of Assholes Finish First going to be bigger than the sequel to The Hangover? If it is not, who will you blame?

Oh right! I have the real answer to this one - Duke Law will give you Duke loans to get you through law school. He probably didn't pay back the Duke loan, but since you're still paying them off years later it didn't come to a lawsuit until now.

@7:04 Tim is a self-promoter, but he knows to evolve to serve his audience. Funny thing is that Tucker helped Tim out a few years ago at SXSW and even though Tim still occasionally pays Tucker lip service, now that Tim has surpassed him, he knows well enough how toxic Tucker is.

This blog was always hilarious and interesting when Tucker was actually doing stuff. Now that he's pretty much done for, there isn't much for people to pontificate on. At least cockly's back, though, to keep it from becoming a cesspool of spam and stuff.

Any word on OC DC? I heard Nils and Tucker were going to work on this blockbuster hit, but that it might have taken a backseat to Tucker's kiss and tell about making that epic "Beer in Hell" movie. I'm sure Bob Gosse will never eat lunch in that town again, thanks to the power of the Tucker Max brand.

By the way, whatever the hell happened to that loser Kung Fu Mike? Last I heard he abandoned his failed writing career and was looking for minimum wage work in New Hampshire. Even Tucker cast him aside by not inviting him to tag along on the Fail Bus Tour.

Well, I thought I understood how the Hollywood system worked. I was still arrogant enough that I thought truly understood the system. And you could think of it the same way as starting a company, like a first time entrepreneur saying I know how to do a startup. You may think you know, but you don't know until you've done it, right? I thought I knew how Hollywood worked. I thought I knew how the set would work, etc. So we picked our own director, and we ended up picking a director who essentially sold us in the room that he would act a certain way and do a certain set of things on the movie, but when it came time to do it did something totally different. And by the time we got to that point in the process, there was no way to unfuck the decision. And then because he didn't live up to what he said he would do, I instead of, what I should've done is said, "Okay, we are where we are. We can't change it. I need to figure out how to make the best situation possible out of this." What I did was the wrong thing. I got fucking pissed and I got angry and I didn't deal with those emotions. So instead they kind of came out in the way I acted towards him and towards a lot of other people, and it negatively . . . a movie set's a very sensitive, delicate artistic place and you can't act like that there. And I did because I was fucking pissed off because this guy had fucked me. And it negatively impacted the movie in a lot of ways, and I can't even watch the movie because I can see on screen in scenes where I know what's going on in the background and I know someone's fucking up a scene and I know it's at least partially my fault and it drives me nuts. It drives me nuts because I didn't have to act that way. Even with the bad decision, I could have just swallowed it in the short term and gotten the best product out and then dealt with the director later. I didn't. I was short sighted in that way.

Blogger automatically designated several comments as spam and removed them from this page. I had to go into my account and mark them as not being spam. There is obviously a problem with Blogger's spam filter

I shamefully admit to reading Tucker's latest book of lies and half-truths, but find it hilarious that the age in his stories just keeps getting younger and younger...if he was born in 1975, there's no way in HELL that he was 28 (as claimed in "Not Another Teen Hookup)in 2005.

"...if he was born in 1975, there's no way in HELL that he was 28 (as claimed in "Not Another Teen Hookup)in 2005."Tucker's stories have always transcended time and space. He was using an early 80's video camera with self destructing cassette tapes in 2000 to film buttseth. Hotels like the Embassy Suites in the early 2000s apparently did not require credit cards to reserve rooms and prevent damages to toilets and common areas. There was no surveillance video, alarm, or police report in the late 90s. Tucker's world, where you could commit felonies, misdemeanors, and vandalism with impunity and without leaving any police, insurance, or business record, apparently continued well into the computer and video age. His world was a lot like the world of 1950s Porkies; and Diner and Animal House of the early 1960s. In other words, fiction.

Well the stories about him are entertaining but not in the way intended:"the video cassette broke""there's no police report despite driving through a window""I beat up a minor league hockey team's mascot and didn't get thrown out of the arena, much less arrested""Anything the Hangover does we can do better"

All of those statements are entertaining but only in that Tucker expects us to believe them.

Oh man, I just got done watching the latest cut of OC/DC. Nils and Tucker totally nailed it out of the park with this one! I'm predicting a $25 million opening weekend and finishing up at $275 million. That isn't even counting the huge receipts this movie will rack up in the foreign markets.

Also, I can't get enough of the Bunny book. So many great stories from such an insightful and well balanced woman ^_^

I know this asshole's career is dead, but Tucker is tweeting up a storm about the horrible incident at Penn State.

This low life stinking pile of monkey crap is acting like a moral bastion against child rape . . . wait, didn't he admit that he sodomized a woman while a video camera was going WITHOUT INFORMING HER???

That guy needs to flatline just like his career so that we can breathe his air. It's all for the children!

listen, i had a bad experience at Rudius Media's Crossbow Range. I was there with my buddies shooting crossbows and to be completely honest, the lines were so long to get in on the crossbow action that we ended up waiting 3 hours just to get 20 minutes on the Rudius Tactical Range. This is no way to treat loyal customers, Tucker.

I guess the only good thing is that on the way out, the employee offered me a discounted OC/DC DVD for my trouble. Thanks buddy, but next time offer me an autographed I hope they serve beer in hell, and then we're talkin!

I'm surprised he's even having articles written about him. Aside from the occasional comment written on him here and at the Tucker Max Lies blog, nobody is talking about this never-been loser. He's completely irrelevant by any measure.

Tucker Max is a man that loves to go out on any night, get drunk, and have sex with women. No matter where he had his beer or slept with his women, they were going to end up in his book somehow, whether they liked it or not. First, I must say that it is hard to believe people actually go behind their morals and what they believe to now believe in Tucker Max. From reading this book men are the ones that would enjoy it, the stories told are stories that only men would appeal to. I thought the book was very good because it had so much humor in it that I couldn't stop laughing, his stories are provocative and some even gross. I like how the book is thoroughly reprehensible and makes you feel like you are in the story when it is happening. Tucker Max gives you such a good picture of what is happening the entire time so you know every detail of every second. Although it may seem that reading about this guy's sex life is ridiculous, it was impossible not to want to just keep going to finish the book in one day.

I read IHTSBIH soon after it came out, and found it hilarious. In fact, I turned my boyfriend onto Max's work, and we shared many laughs over Assholes Finish First. For some obscure reason, I googled "Tucker Max" and read his January interview and was pleasantly surprised, thinking, ok, good! He's too old for this shit! ...then I read his tweets. Wtf?! Talk about a contradiction- he seems exactly the fucking same. Good luck finding a woman, dude.

Oh, and finally saw one of his interviews- gnarly voice, totally not what I expected. Ewww. I'll pass.

^ How much money could he possibly have made during the past decade? He is a compulsive liar, so he'll never tell the truth anyway. Remember when he used to claim that he made $10,000 or more just off ads, yet he shut down his forum a year or two later because he was losing money on the bandwidth. Most of what he writes seems like blatant lies.

Mr. Esrael, when I see comments like this where people talk negative about other people, it just makes me more sad for you guys because obviously you harbor hurt and hatred, but all I can encourage you to do is not let it consume you. This is not the Tucker I see and while we are all entitled to an opinion, my encouragement for you would be to ask if what has made you dislike Tucker worth the harboring of hatred in your own heart? I only ask because hate can consume an individual to where more damage is done to the person who hates and I don't want that for you - you're better than that.

We have a choice on how we deal with things that happen - to view it as positive and negative - if you choose negative, it can make you negative and you, my friend, are better than that!