Keri Russell Thinks Real Life Is Kinda Just As Good As Being Famous

Ah, Keri Russell – another actress who seems relatively mediocre yet charmingly… charming and could stand being in more films/TV shows. I mean, Felicity (girl, that hair!) was over in 2002 and the amazingness that was Waitress came out long enough ago that it’s been syndicated on network TV (2007, IMDB tells me), so what’s the deal? Well, it’s simple: she kinda doesn’t care all that much about being famous and thinks having kids and a partner – and, you know, a normal life – are pretty swell, too.

For some people who have certain priorities, having a kid can ground them and make them realize what is important, and what is a fleeting phase. Some people have heart attacks before they start to focus on their health, and others may have to see a friend’s house foreclosed upon and get the wake up call to stop gambling.

As long as a person gets the wakeup they need so as to live a better life, then why should it matter what form the wake up call comes in?

I wasn’t ragging on her wake-up call, just saying I hate the stigma that motherhood is so transformative in a way that nothing else in life could be. I never plan on having children, but that doesn’t mean I’m a selfish asshole. My issue is with societal standards, not Keri Russell!

While I agree with you, Jennifer (I value the work I’m doing on my dissertation as being just as important to my success and sense of self as the work I’m doing cooking up a baby), Keri Russell didn’t say that having kids was the *only* way one can experience something transformative…it’s just the way it happened to her, which is totally fair, I think.

You really need to have kids in order to know what she and others are talking about. It’s an instinctual reaction. when one has a baby you can see in their eyes how innocent they are compared and your first automatic reaction is to just be more mature caring and thinking of their happiness.

Yes, but this also leads to a lot of mothers thinking that their child is the only thing in the entire world that matters, which can make them close-minded and selfish in a different way…hence the excellent website stfuparents!

First of all, let’s stick to “whatever” and skip the “namaste” to avoid urges of punching each other in the face. I hate people who say “namaste”.

Secondly Jenn, I ever more hate people who, upon having children, magically lose – or give up, really – their personality and become baby slaves, but it is also true that you have absolutely no clue about an entire existential dimension until you have children.

The need to have children in order to validate your life is bullshit…but it’s also bullshit to presume that such a validation doesn’t come naturally when you become a parent. Think of it as a bonus. I want to have children for many reasons, the most important one being because I fuckin can, and because I love my husband and I want to create life with him (and because I want to have minions who would do chores for me, cuddle with me, and unlike my cat, would say things back to me). A tremendous feeling of satisfaction comes with the package, and that doesn’t mean that I would stop, say, shaving my legs, improving my conversational skills, or trying to win a Pulitzer.

Kids neither enable us, nor prevent us from absolutely anything. Usually we do ourselves.

A nice post about Kerry Russel that ends in a jab. She has every right to say motherhood changed her and its a different lifestyle then not having kids. Offense is taken not given, so if you felt attacked since you don’t want kids thats all on you since all she said was it grounded her basically.

Ugh. What I absolutely hate is when people who have never had children automatically assume what my thoughts are about people who have never had children. Because, you know those of us who have had children, CLEARLY, we just had children to breed, and borne them with absolutely no thought processes involved ever (sarcasm). I’ve met many a person who never had children who seemed to have things pretty figured out, but the person who wrote this post, still has their head firmly wedged up their ass, clearly.

If you’d read my comment above, you’d see that my issue is not with people who choose to have children, but with the societal standard that a woman’s life is empty if she chooses not to procreate. Everyone can have 5 billion children each if that’s what they want! (Also, no one said anything about people who choose to have children having no thoughts about doing so, so no idea where that came from.) While I was slightly annoyed by Keri Russell’s comment, I don’t think it’s because her experience isn’t valid in any way (and who would I be to say either way?) but because it supports a very common standard held in our society for women that motherhood is the pinnacle of existence and it’s not until you pop out a few kids that your life really gets meaning and all the pieces come together. Did she mean that by what she said? Most likely not. My point was that you see these kind of comments from most Hollywood actresses – motherhood is the greatest gift, life becomes a shining beacon of clarity and balance once you’re a parent, etc – and I personally feel that while it’s true for these women and they’re totally entitled to it, heaven does not shine down a profound ray of light once you become a mother and it’d be nice to see a little something different being said publicly about the issue – and that’s valid, too. Women who choose not to have children probably have a right to be defensive, when every question thrown at them has to do with when they’re going to settle down and do so. That’s not to say EVERY person feels that way, but that a large majority seem to – or so their behaviour demonstrates.

Well said, and I fully agree with you. If I never had the kid I would have never missed him. Parenting is one of the most tedious and often thankless things I have ever done. I miss reading, bathing, adult conversation and nudity in the living room. I miss how quiet things used to be and I miss my old job. I would be lost without my kid, he is the greatest thing to ever happen in the entire world, but he was not an expected pleasure. I agree that it feels like it is not okay to be female and not to want to have children. I am even sick of all those swarmy televison commericals simpering about being a “good mom” and buying the right jam for the kid’s lunches. Thankfully, my co-parent is much better at this then I am, and thanks to his intervenion, the boy seems to be turning out okay, and with any luck, will be out of the house by the time he turns eighteen although whenever I bring the subject up, my son informs me that he is going to live with me forever. (I`ll take that as a vote of confidence in my parenting abilities).

@bonnakins wow you basically put all of my thoughts on what it is like to be a parent right out there. i couldn’t agree more with everything you said.
i am quite selfish with my time and i think that is why i will only be having one child. i am already pumped for him to grow up and for me to go on vacations. but i love him to pieces!

How exciting for Keri Russel to discover what pretty much everyone already knows. Perhaps in this era where high profile women are struggling to be asked questions about their career and not when they plan to make babies with their vaginas, she could be a bit less smarmy about having finally realized she’s not the center of the universe? Also, did she not discover the value of being unselfish in the relationship that led up to her having kids? Um.. ok.

” “You instantly become less selfish. You can’t be the biggest person in the world anymore—they are. It really grounds you.” ”

Maybe if she spoke to her own experience only and didn’t feel the need to make general sweeping statements about “you” and “you” and “me”, I wouldn’t really care about what she said. But you know what, I can think of at like 8 women off the top of my head who did NOT become less selfish after having kids. I’d really appreciate it if people could just speak for themselves only and not think that just because they experienced something, they know everything about it and can speak to how everyone else feels.

Very well said, meh. I too know several mothers that are not better people for it. My own and my sister, are both exhaustingly selfish. My sister actually stopped her daughter from joining the national children’s choir because it would have meant driving her to regular practices. (My jaw hit the floor)
I totally agree, people should talk about their own personal experiences and steer clear of the sweeping statements.