This Week in Top Gun: Sequels, 3D Releases, and More Conspiracy Theories

Every once in a while, the chaotic randomness of the Universe emits a series of patterns that, when pieced together and read as whole, align the great cogs of the cosmos and reveal a colossal truth about the whole of human existence. We now sit on the precipice of one of these momentous occasions - and the discovery may rattle you to your very core.

Apparently, the Universe is a big fan of Top Gun.

In the past few weeks, several seemingly unrelated news items have emerged related to the high-flying 1986 blockbuster. But what does it all mean? Don your Ray-Bans, read the evidence and decide for yourself after the jump.

Every once in a while, the chaotic randomness of the Universe emits a series of patterns that, when pieced together and read as whole, align the great cogs of the cosmos and reveal a colossal truth about the whole of human existence.

Farewell USS Enterprise
Just last week, the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise left port on her 22nd and final deployment. The mighty ship has seen her fair share of action in 50 years of service including the Cuban Missile Crisis and support for John Glenn's return to Earth after his 1962 orbit. Perhaps the ship's biggest claim to fame however, is its starring role as the home base of Maverick and Goose in Top Gun. When the Enterprise returns from the Persian Gulf in December of 2012 it will not become a floating museum like the Midway in San Diego, but instead will be scrapped entirely. How then will a new generation of would-be sailors, airmen and combat aviators experience the glory days of the Big E, you ask?

Top Gun in 3-D
With The Lion King and The Phantom Menace both receiving 3-D conversions already, and James Cameron's Titanic being re-issued in a few weeks (commemorating the anniversary of the world's greatest maritime tragedy in three dazzling dimensions!), it's only natural that Top Gun would be added to the slate for a theatrical re-release. Legends3D, the visual effects house responsible for the 3-D sequences in Hugo and Transformers are currently overseeing the transfer from mere 2 dimensions to glorious 3 and recently exhibited a retouched aerial dogfight sequence as proof of their vision. The studio has not yet confirmed a release date, but Legends3D's PR department told me in an email they anticipate the film will be in theaters this year. This is serious business. The profits made from fans clamoring to see sweaty beach volleyball and Tom Skerritt's mustache in 3-D can only mean one thing:

Top Gun 2!
With Prometheus, Ridley Scott's (sort of) prequel to Alien coming out this summer, it only makes sense that his brother Tony would follow suit, also returning to the scene of his greatest cinematic triumph. The Hollywood Reporter recently broke the news (link to http://legend3d.com/sites/default/files/articles/The%20Hollywood%20Reporter%20Online%202%2029%2012_0.pdf) that not only has a sequel to Top Gun formally been announced with the younger Scott at the helm, but that Peter Craig, writer of the quite good The Town, will handle the script writing duties. It's too early for any plot details, but I'd hope that Craig's story will incorporate a sub-plot in which the adult son of Goose has a vendetta against Maverick for his role in his father's death. If so, this could turn into Kill Bill with fighter jets!
(Seriously, Hollywood, call me - I have a million ideas here...

Sure, it's all very exciting, but still, what's behind all this hoopla for Top Gun of all things? Is it a Scientology scheme? A Navy recruiting strategy? It might remain one of the great cosmic riddles - until someone green lights a sequel to Roxanne or Losin' It- then we'll know that there is a supreme ruler of the Universe - and his name is Rick Rossovich.