Good grief, more jerks

Thursday

Apr 24, 2008 at 12:01 AMApr 24, 2008 at 5:19 PM

All of a sudden, they're everywhere!

Kirk Wessler

All of a sudden, they’re everywhere!

Houston Astros star Miguel Tejada, already being investigated by the feds for possibly lying to Congress in the great steroids probe, has another fib flushed out by ESPN. Tejada sat down for an interview with the network last week, then got mad, stood up and walked out when questioned about his birth certificate. Tejada subsequently told the Astros he lied about his age when he signed his first contract, with Oakland, as a teenager; he’s 33, not 31. Though Tejada is off to a fast start, the Astros last winter might not have been so hot to trade for him and his $14.8 million salary, with another year left on the contract, had they known he was almost 34 years old.I can’t decide who’s more deserving: Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull, for injuring a fan during a high-five, or the Adult Fan who has sued for damages suffered when he was hurt clowning around with a guy dressed up as the cartoon bull. This is not the first ignominious accomplishment for Benny. Two years ago, the mascot got busted at Taste of Chicago for ignoring a police order to stop riding a motorbike and then struck the officer who tried to pull him over. The fan is a private citizen, and I’m sorry he got hurt. But really, mascots are for little kids, not mature adults. Anyone for a two-fer?Hank Steinbrenner, son of Yankees owner King George, proved he’s a chip off the old pop with his outburst last week. Hank said only “an idiot” would keep NYY pitcher Joba Chamberlain out of the starting rotation. He apparently was referring to GM Brian Cashman, but the comment probably didn’t go over well with manager Joe Girardi, either. It’s Cashman’s and Girardi’s jobs to decide who plays, when, where and how. It’s Hank’s job to give them the tools to do those jobs.15 Numbskulls at Wrigley Field. No problem here with whoever threw the home run ball back onto the playing field—a time-honored tradition that started at Wrigley. All sorts of problems with the loonies who created a hailstorm that they undoubtedly thought was funny. Yeah, real funny if one of the balls had beaned one of the Cubs’ stars, who were in the field. I agree with some of the assessments I’ve seen that the offenders aren’t really Cubs fans. But there are way too many of these types—and way too few real Cubs fans—at Wrigley Field. The ballpark is a national treasure. Too many of the people who inhabit it are a disgrace.