Monday, February 1, 2010

Faith, Love and Happiness.

Where do I even begin?

I have been trying so hard to find something that inspires me. Something that tugs at my core. Then it happened. I had to make a concious effort to stop thinking on my car ride home. I had no tape recorder, no pad and paper, and even if there were the last two things, I was on the highway.

Would my epiphany grant me to be so bold as to say I think I have figured it out?

By it I do mean everything. The very purpose to life, happiness, everything that is worth having, giving or doing.

I figured it out.

It's not money.It's not power.It's not fame or fortune or "luck" as some may call it.

It's faith, love and happiness.

I don't want to sound too green-peace, earth-child, tree hugging lunatic who smoked one too many bundles of grass, but think about it.

1. You can't be happy with ANYTHING until you find happiness in yourself first.[Trust me, I've been there.]

Now, even though it may seem as such, key word being seem, you can't pick something and make yourself happy with it.

---> Example: My whole life I wanted to find a guy to make me happy like in fairytale books. I thought if I just picked a guy, everything else would fall into place. Well, I picked, then I picked some more. I realized that just because I picked, doesn't mean I was right by any means.

Adulthood kicks in, way too early I might add, and BAM! you realize fairy tales really don't exist. Thus beginning a lifetime of settling because you think since fairy tales don't exist, the happiness you felt when the glass slipper fit perfectly couldn't possibly exist either.WRONG. It is our fault for allowing ourselves to settle and believe that true, honest-to-goodness, head over heels, giddy all the time, rosy cheeks and click of the heels happiness went away with our beloved fairy tales.

I have always wondered, until now, why I was fascinated with the story of Cinderella. Sure, I may be partial to it, believing that it is the greatest love story ever told, ever. But it's more than that. It's the feeling I got that gave me chills up my arms when the Duke realized that the two ugly step sisters feet weren't the right size.

Somewhere over time I lost my faith in faith. I forgot that it's not all about what actually is happening, but what could be happening, or has the potential to happen.

At the end of the story Cinderella and the Prince live happily ever after, and while I am not so naive to think that everyone gets a happily ever after because obviously that's not the case, everything is what you make it.

Don't be afraid of the natural high loving life brings. Take ahold of it like a two year old grabs onto his mother's hair. Grasp it and go.

It can be intimidating and downright frustrating when you see what you have been missing out on your whole life, and never even realized it. Knowing that all it took was time. Patience. Just a little while to allow yourself to look inside. [Again, not creepily...] But to dig deep.

You are supposed to know yourself better than anyone else.Well, besides Jesus because He and His dad created you and have known you from the womb.

I used to think that if I blindly believed in an almighty power, that made me ignorant. To just assume because someone wrote it down in a book thousands of years ago, that it is ultimately correct. The way, the truth and the life. I thought that believing in something without being able to grasp it made me naive.

It doesn't, it makes me child-like.

NEVER make the mistake of confusing a maintained child-like innocence with ignorance.

Jesus smiled on those who could believe like children. Those who had that fairytale belief system still implanted in their hearts.

Maybe now I realize, that with a sincere love and happiness with myself, I can have that Father-daughter relationship that I have been missing for so long.

It's not about not having sex, or not cursing, or going to church every Sunday, or reading the Bible religiously, or even religion itself. It's about a relationship. [While those are all good rules to live by, again, when followed properly.] But it's how you find and make your own path to happiness, how to maintain that happiness through Him, and realizing that no matter how hard it gets, you really NEVER have to be alone.

It's like the old saying goes:Those who can believe without seeing have the greatest gift of all.

And I finally understand. Blind faith should not be frowned upon. Innocence is a blessing for those who embrace it correctly.Love can be shared in many ways, but before you can give real love, you must first have it to give.Happiness comes from within. Some find it sooner than others, and sadly, some never find it.Anything is possible when you're patient.

2 comments:

Jessica,I love this post. LOVE. IT.It really is a comforting though knowing someone else is going through the same struggles I am. I have such a hard time believing in love and faith, and that really puts a strain on my mind. I have been in a couple really unhealthy relationships, and you helped me confirm that not every shoe fits so to speak. Do you ever get the "OHMYGOD MY FRIENDS ARE GETTING MARRIED AND ARE HAPPY. I'M ABOUT TO BE 22 (or 21) YEARS OLD. I SHOULD BE IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP BY NOW" feeling? Cause I do sometimes. Whenever that feeling creeps up and overwhelms me, I just sit back and think. I am young, and should be living my life! Not worrying about all the what-ifs.