RE: Used to be here - saw therapist

I saw my T today, and we are still talking. He will see me once per week or continue with twice per week if I prefer, and I brought up about a payment plan which he says he has never done but would like to hear what I have to say. I feel I am being set up. twice per week I am bleeding out. my emotions are all raw right now. I was a mess after today and couldn't even do my paper work at work. So I do not know what to think.

Right now I am feeling very lonely and alone. I was recently banned for life from a group. Dr. Bob doesn't even do that. I was nasty to someone who in return acted in my mind in a very sadistic manner. That is how it felt, very punished, but more than just punished--like when I was a kid and I had things I loved taken from me never again to be seen. This has nothing to do with babble, but I don't understand someone doing this if they feel they were treated that way themself once upon a time. So anyway I will have to do more with IRL friends which is better anyway I think.

The other night I started going to a lecture series on Far East Religions. Very interesting so far.