The derp is dangerous," she said, "but it gives herp. We derp down so many avenues of the past . . . Yet, there's a herp where no derpsayer can say. We are repelled by it, terrorized. It is said a man will come one day and find in the gift of the derp in his inward eye. He will herp where we cannot.""Your Kwisatz Wurzelbach?""Yes, the one who can herp many derps at the black ones: the Kwisatz Wurzelbach. Many men have tried the derp . . . so many, but none has succeeded.""They tried and failed, all of them?""Oh, no." She shook her head. "They tried and died."

Joe'Dib bent down, and picked himself up by his jackboot straps. "Challenge accepted."

Marcus Aurelius:"Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

When you register as a democrat, you get a button that says 'I voted' and a black person to handle.

hardinparamedic:And why is it that someone who starts of his sentences "I'm not racist, but.." inevitably ends up coming off as a huge one?

It really doesn't matter what descriptor you use, you'll always come off as the person you are claiming you aren't, because people's ears perk up the minute they hear it. It's a dog whistle.

If someone says "I'm not gay, but those are nice shoes" - everyone is going to think that guy is gay. However, it only works for pejorative connotations. You cannot say "I'm not a mechanic, but that noise reducer thingy is making a clangy bang" and expect someone to think you're a mechanic. It just doesn't work that way.

Oh, ok I get it. It's all part of the big plan, I guess. We get all the racial minorities all entitled up on welfare babies and government cheese, and they get too lazy to go out and make better lives for themselves, and therefore leave all the upper management positions to whitey. Aha! As someone who is not racist, I must now face a choice: decide to just go ahead and become racist and keep voting for Democrats, or say NO to racism and vote for Republicans.

Yay, now I'm a non-racist Republican! Let's give minorities all the personal responsibility the Democrats have been denying them all this time! And deport Mexicans and make it harder for Blacks to vote!

Honestly, I don't know why he doesn't run for leadership of the GOP, he represents their integrity perfectly.

yet he was given a royal anal exam by the left because obama answered his question honestly.

/his driver's license was made public, that he was a plumber apprentice was made public. why? because the left seethed at his nerve to ask a stupid question to a faker candidate.

/lesson learned? Unless you want people digging through your garbage for 5 weeks, you had better not question a democrat unless it is "boxers or briefs".

//had the media and rabid leftist let this guy alone, he would not be a news item today, would he. but they had to teach the proletariat minions a lesson, didn't they.

Uh no. The reason he became a news item was because John McCain brought him up 50 bajillion times during the third presidential debate and intentionally used him as a prop for his campaign. The media focus did not come in until after that. But thanks for playing.

Righties are cute when they get embarrassed by the retarded dwarves their "movement" spawns. They get all indignant and pretend that liberals invented them or something.

Everyone is totally buying it, and there's really no better way to convince black people that you're not racist than to constantly point out how dumb you think they are and remind them that even in the year 2013, you have an incredibly difficult time NOT associating them with slave imagery.

Next, you guys should totally start going out in blackface and talk "skreet" to them to show them how "down" you are with the "brothers." Slip them some skin in one of those elaborate "bro" shakes that ends in a snap or an explosion. If you still need to bolster your cred, be sure to point out that a number of your best friends (or, "ni**as") are black.

The RIchest Man in Babylon:I don't know what is so hard to understand about this. The KKKrats are the REAL racists, they're policies force the blacks into neo-slavery by way of LIEberal entitlements and like such as. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

scottnance:This is the true cost of slavery. For over a century the US sought out not just slaves, but particular types of slaves to work the plantations. They needed strong slaves, not smart ones, or ambitious ones. The slave had to be just smart enough to do the work but not so smart they'd realize they got dealt a really shiatty hand in life and then revolt. This played out as a practical matter when smarter Africans began dominating and then selling their dumber brethren to white people.

To add insult to injury, we bred and conditioned the slaves to be non-people. Their existence was an extension of their master. Without a master, a slave had no purpose, no life, no reason to exist. A slave was not his own person.

So we had a war about it, and when we were all finished half of the country let former slaves go about their business and the other half kept them repressed with shadowy laws that let them know they were still under someone's boot. That persisted for a century, and in the 1960's the government stepped in and said "hey, you got a bad lot in life, come with me and I'll make sure you're taken care of."

What no one realized is that the kind-hearted government had just replaced a hard boot with a soft one. No one taught the descendants of the former slaves that they didn't have to be an extension of a master. Instead, they just created a new one: the government. It was win-win for a while, the slave mentality had a new master to swear fealty to and politicians had votes wrapped up for eternity. But in the long run there's still that slave mentality, coursing just beneath the surface. Even worse, that mentality is being hardened under the illusion of making men "more free."

scottnance:This is the true cost of slavery. For over a century the US sought out not just slaves, but particular types of slaves to work the plantations. They needed strong slaves, not smart ones, or ambitious ones. The slave had to be just smart enough to do the work but not so smart they'd realize they got dealt a really shiatty hand in life and then revolt. This played out as a practical matter when smarter Africans began dominating and then selling their dumber brethren to white people.

To add insult to injury, we bred and conditioned the slaves to be non-people. Their existence was an extension of their master. Without a master, a slave had no purpose, no life, no reason to exist. A slave was not his own person.

So we had a war about it, and when we were all finished half of the country let former slaves go about their business and the other half kept them repressed with shadowy laws that let them know they were still under someone's boot. That persisted for a century, and in the 1960's the government stepped in and said "hey, you got a bad lot in life, come with me and I'll make sure you're taken care of."

What no one realized is that the kind-hearted government had just replaced a hard boot with a soft one. No one taught the descendants of the former slaves that they didn't have to be an extension of a master. Instead, they just created a new one: the government. It was win-win for a while, the slave mentality had a new master to swear fealty to and politicians had votes wrapped up for eternity. But in the long run there's still that slave mentality, coursing just beneath the surface. Even worse, that mentality is being hardened under the illusion of making men "more free."

I nominate you to be in charge of the GOP minority outreach committee.

scottnance:This is the true cost of slavery. For over a century the US sought out not just slaves, but particular types of slaves to work the plantations. They needed strong slaves, not smart ones, or ambitious ones. The slave had to be just smart enough to do the work but not so smart they'd realize they got dealt a really shiatty hand in life and then revolt. This played out as a practical matter when smarter Africans began dominating and then selling their dumber brethren to white people.

To add insult to injury, we bred and conditioned the slaves to be non-people. Their existence was an extension of their master. Without a master, a slave had no purpose, no life, no reason to exist. A slave was not his own person.

So we had a war about it, and when we were all finished half of the country let former slaves go about their business and the other half kept them repressed with shadowy laws that let them know they were still under someone's boot. That persisted for a century, and in the 1960's the government stepped in and said "hey, you got a bad lot in life, come with me and I'll make sure you're taken care of."

What no one realized is that the kind-hearted government had just replaced a hard boot with a soft one. No one taught the descendants of the former slaves that they didn't have to be an extension of a master. Instead, they just created a new one: the government. It was win-win for a while, the slave mentality had a new master to swear fealty to and politicians had votes wrapped up for eternity. But in the long run there's still that slave mentality, coursing just beneath the surface. Even worse, that mentality is being hardened under the illusion of making men "more free."

badhatharry:sugardave: chimp_ninja: QU!RK1019: Are y'all sure this "badhatharry is a birther" horse isn't dead enough? Better keep beating it, just to be sure.

It's only one of dozens of conspiracies he believes. He's a gullible rube who will spend the rest of his sad life crapping his pants in fear of reality. He's also a dick, so the appropriate response is mockery, not sympathy.

badhatharry: There is a definite increase in autism. Even after removing mercury from the vaccines it is still increasing. ... I think it is a mix of genetics and environment and maybe even vaccines.

badhatharry: I do think that alien beings have visited Earth in the past and may still visit. There are many sightings by credible witnesses, including airline pilots and scientists. There are many references throughout history of flying craft before 1900.

badhatharry: I have seen a ghost. You would believe in them if you saw one.

Oh no, I actually will lend credence to one of those. There is a non-zero chance of intelligent alien life, so I'm not ruling out the possibility of UFOs. Fark can judge me as they will.

QU!RK1019:Are y'all sure this "badhatharry is a birther" horse isn't dead enough? Better keep beating it, just to be sure.

It's only one of dozens of conspiracies he believes. He's a gullible rube who will spend the rest of his sad life crapping his pants in fear of reality. He's also a dick, so the appropriate response is mockery, not sympathy.

badhatharry:There is a definite increase in autism. Even after removing mercury from the vaccines it is still increasing. ... I think it is a mix of genetics and environment and maybe even vaccines.

badhatharry:I do think that alien beings have visited Earth in the past and may still visit. There are many sightings by credible witnesses, including airline pilots and scientists. There are many references throughout history of flying craft before 1900.

badhatharry:I have seen a ghost. You would believe in them if you saw one.

parasol:badhatharry: parasol: parasol: Mrbogey: technicolor-misfit: If you really want to see the "paternalistic way libtards treat minorities," go tally how many black, Mexican, and female members of congress are Democrats versus how many are Republicans.

Republicans try running minority candidates but white Democrats refuse to vote for them. So many minority Democrats refuse to get off the plantation and help advance their people. The Democrats that minorities elect all too often enrich themselves and their loyal inner circle and destroy the community- see every Detroit, New Orleans, and Washington DC.

yeah - THAT is why Democrats refuse to vote for a Republican candidate. It isn't that they are a Republican - that would be entirely too logical

Here is a former minority Republican candidate: Alan WestThe reason I, as a Democrat, didn't vote for Mr West was because he is a minority.It had nothing to do with the fact he is a reported war criminal that spews hatred for women, for democrats, that he had no platform of actionable ideas or that he was supported by some of the most stupid and vile voters i've ever witnessed. - ever - anywhere.No, it was because he was black

Give me a break. You didn't vote for him because you are a racist.

You got me - I am a Democrat actively fighting to keep "those people" out of the Republican party.Damn, foiled again!

You are obviously scared by a strong independent black man. You are frightened of black people.

parasol:parasol: Mrbogey: technicolor-misfit: If you really want to see the "paternalistic way libtards treat minorities," go tally how many black, Mexican, and female members of congress are Democrats versus how many are Republicans.

Republicans try running minority candidates but white Democrats refuse to vote for them. So many minority Democrats refuse to get off the plantation and help advance their people. The Democrats that minorities elect all too often enrich themselves and their loyal inner circle and destroy the community- see every Detroit, New Orleans, and Washington DC.

yeah - THAT is why Democrats refuse to vote for a Republican candidate. It isn't that they are a Republican - that would be entirely too logical

Here is a former minority Republican candidate: Alan WestThe reason I, as a Democrat, didn't vote for Mr West was because he is a minority.It had nothing to do with the fact he is a reported war criminal that spews hatred for women, for democrats, that he had no platform of actionable ideas or that he was supported by some of the most stupid and vile voters i've ever witnessed. - ever - anywhere.No, it was because he was black

Mrbogey:He was trolling you. His argument in it is that America has made Obama completely blameless for everything and anyone who does blame him for anything is derided as racist. Unlike when we had white Republican president and gas being too high (above $2/gal) was entirely his fault. Hell, the gov't shutdown of 2013 is still Bush's fault.

Animatronik:A better word might be "parasitic" because the party has become a parasite feeding on the corpse of America's economic prosperity.

Not really, no. If you feed on a corpse, you're not a parasite, you're a scavenger or predator. Parasitism is when you co-opt an organism's natural function to benefit your own, and harmful parasitism is where this is done in a way that benefits the parasite over the host.

I doubt you care, because the rest of what you had to say is pretty stupid and wrong, but I figure this one deserved special attention.

scottydoesntknow:I don't get how you can farking say that after posting an essay titled "America Needs a White Republican President"

He was trolling you. His argument in it is that America has made Obama completely blameless for everything and anyone who does blame him for anything is derided as racist. Unlike when we had white Republican president and gas being too high (above $2/gal) was entirely his fault. Hell, the gov't shutdown of 2013 is still Bush's fault.

Marcus Aurelius:"Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

what_now:Marcus Aurelius: "Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

It's a real shame how Democrats are convincing people to vote against their own interests.

"Myself and a few other conservatives will not allow the left to continue setting the narrative. Racism is wrong on so many levels and when political parties use it as a weapon they aren't fighting racism they are encouraging it."

The cognitive dissonance is deafening.

[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Party_%28United_States%29#B lac k_Americans] ; "African Americans began drifting to the Democratic Party, as Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal programs gave economic relief to all minorities, including African Americans and Hispanics. Support for the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s by Democratic presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson helped give the Democrats even larger support among the African-American community, which consistently vote between 85-95% Democratic."

"...black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them." Yeah, when are those black people going to wake up?

Marcus Aurelius:"Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

You don't wrestle with a pig, you don't play chess with a pigeon and you don't argue with a moran.

ongbok:jso2897: ox45tallboy: Smeggy Smurf: He has a point. How many Democrats believe that blacks cannot compete with whites on a level playing field? It's all about affirmative action and quotas as though the color of your skin actually matter if you're capable of doing the job or not. Soft racism of low expectations is still racism.

How about acknowledgement of things which disproportionately affect people of different races? Such as the incarceration rates and sentence lengths of people of different races, the 4th Amendment violations of "stop and frisk", demands for proof of citizenship, high school graduation rates, sentencing differences between powder and rock cocaine, and poverty?

I think he problem is that one side truly believes that there is a "level playing field", the other acknowledges the fact that there are differences and actually works to make it level.

You can't reason with a person who was born on third base, and whose fragile self-esteem requires that they pretend they hit a triple.

And if a person that barely was able to get out of the batters box gets ahead of them, they scream about affirmative action and white oppression.

Just don't call them racist. Because that would be racist, to call them racist.

Smeggy Smurf:He has a point. How many Democrats believe that blacks cannot compete with whites on a level playing field? It's all about affirmative action and quotas as though the color of your skin actually matter if you're capable of doing the job or not. Soft racism of low expectations is still racism.

How about acknowledgement of things which disproportionately affect people of different races? Such as the incarceration rates and sentence lengths of people of different races, the 4th Amendment violations of "stop and frisk", demands for proof of citizenship, high school graduation rates, sentencing differences between powder and rock cocaine, and poverty?

I think he problem is that one side truly believes that there is a "level playing field", the other acknowledges the fact that there are differences and actually works to make it level.

WizardofToast:Marcus Aurelius: "Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

Slavery analogy and the implication that black people are stupid. How do you write that and not think "Wait, that's really farking stupid and racist to say."?

Bith Set Me Up:Lsherm: hardinparamedic: And why is it that someone who starts of his sentences "I'm not racist, but.." inevitably ends up coming off as a huge one?

It really doesn't matter what descriptor you use, you'll always come off as the person you are claiming you aren't, because people's ears perk up the minute they hear it. It's a dog whistle.

If someone says "I'm not gay, but those are nice shoes" - everyone is going to think that guy is gay. However, it only works for pejorative connotations. You cannot say "I'm not a mechanic, but that noise reducer thingy is making a clangy bang" and expect someone to think you're a mechanic. It just doesn't work that way.

Just like when a girl says "It's not you, it's me..." means that it IS you.

Seriously, though,

[tng.trekcore.com image 850x638]

Go the fark away, "Joe".

I had to work really hard at coming up with that stupid example. I'm not a rocket scientist, but typing Fark are hard.

Marcus Aurelius:"Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

Slavery analogy and the implication that black people are stupid. How do you write that and not think "Wait, that's really farking stupid and racist to say."?

The RIchest Man in Babylon:I don't know what is so hard to understand about this. The KKKrats are the REAL racists, they're policies force the blacks into neo-slavery by way of LIEberal entitlements and like such as. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

yeah liberal entitlements like piss poor wages and benefits declining for the past 35 years. and letting the big guys skate by on less taxes than the rest. how much of a working man's check is rendered unto Caesar? not just income tax but sales tax,property tax,state tax and payroll tax. and we're supposed to bow down to the "job creators" and give them whatever they want because they'll just leave and take their money with them. that's bullshiat. they need workers, they need our markets to sell their goods and services. Americans have been sold to highest bidders. And told a lie so much they believe it. If those sons of biatches were to leave ,someone else would take their place. demand drives an economy. not capital investments. the money will come. the demand is here. the infrastructure to manufacture what we need is here. the educated workforce is here. they're not going anywhere. it's all a huge scam and people fall for it. sure inflation would occur but so would wages and jobs would be plentiful. but we need to elect people not afraid of changing trade agreements. stop this global race to the bottom. the concept of globalization was that it would raise all boats. not lower everyone to neo slave wages. the govt cannot continue to subsidize companies who won't pay a living wage.

Yeah, for $1000 plus travel expenses, he'll go to your house anywhere in the country and do your plumbing even though he's not licensed in any state. By the way, this was fine in Ohio, because you don't need to be licensed if you're working for someone else (massage therapists in New York are the same way, so if anyone wants to pay me $1000 plus travel expenses, I have 13 years of experience), but not if you have your own business or work independently, as it looks like what Sam is trying to do.

I think his price goes up if you just want to have a conversation with him, for some bizarre reason.

Maybe Sean Hannity will hire him, since he paid $300,000 for a painting that won't be worth $20 once Obama leaves office.

MrHappyRotter:djkutch: MrHappyRotter: Mugato: Why the fark is this person famous?

I think he's a gay porn star or something. Or is he the guy that raped and murdered that girl back in the 90's? I always get them confused.

hubiestubert: edmo: Does he have a job yet?

You just read it. Times are tough for unemployed plumbers...

Is "plumbing" a genre of gay porn? Intuitively, it feels right...

Possibly, but you'll find more compelling material if you just search for "blue collar". Plumbing tends to bring up a lot of results for fisting vids and clips of dudes who've pumped their junk full of saline solution ... not exactly my cup o' tea.

"Unquestionably white Democrats are the most racist people I've ever met, and they have infected black Democrats. The irony is that black Democrats will one day realize the racism from their white handlers and, blacks will bite the hand that feeds them. Unfortunately America will likely be bankrupt when it happens"