Wednesday, April 12, 2006

How About a Little KISS

1. "As soon as the goat arrives, the world's bizarrest orgy may commence."

2. Still not as creepy as the all midget GWAR cover band.

3. They can rock and roll all night and party every day, but you have to bring the booster chair.

4. Yes, sex, drugs, and rock and roll will stunt your growth and in extreme cases, even reverse it.

5. Despite creative marketing, the sport of dwarf-tossing still did not enjoy a revival.

6. The Ozfest Tour lowers its standards.

7. Paul Stanley followed Michael Jackson's example in hiding his children's identities from the public.

8. When they guys in the chat room swore they were "14 inches," Lolita and Tanqueray had expected something completely different.

Best of Submariner "Send your girl a little Kiss on Feb. 14th." Worst.Marketing.Campaign.Ever.

Best of The Man You must be this tall to cover KISS songs.

Best of jeff Man, I knew I'd get flashbacks from the LSD in the 70s... but this is too weird, man.

Dwarf KISS - making people who dress up for Sci-Fi conventions look normal.

Best of Rodney Dill After one fan said, "Throw me a Kiss," Dwarf tossing was reinvented all over again.

Best of catbat miniature 80s rock bands for rent weekly or daily, you say? sure, i'll take tiny warrant up through tuesday, please.

Best of Cybrludite We represent the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild...

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell "And now, the 'E! True Hollywood Story: Where Are They Now?' follows up with the original Jawa actors from Star Wars. As you can see, 19 years of not being able to capitalize off of their silver screen stardom took its toll...but they finally found gainful employment!"

Best of Divine miss M Halloween is always a memorable day for Mr. Wilson's third grade special-ed class.

Best of attmay During the Oompa Loompa strike of '76, Willy Wonka hired scabs such as these to work his chocolate factory.

Best of ThatGayConservative NO! We need mini Pink Floyd for this production of Dark Side of the Rainbow

Best of Lyn "In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing..."

"And now, the 'E! True Hollywood Story: Where Are They Now?' follows up with the original Jawa actors from Star Wars. As you can see, 19 years of not being able to capitalize off of their silver screen stardom took its toll...but they finally found gainful employment!"

"In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing..." (Spinal Tap ratchets Stonehenge up a notch.)

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