With being surrounded by so many good-looking successful people, it’s crazy that you’re still single right?

The reality is that dating in New York sucks. It’s terrible and I hate it. Everyone is just walking around, sleeping around, dating around, but never getting around to settling down.

With so many people using diff apps like Tinder, your stock immediately plummets because ever guy out there thinks you’re automatically fast food p@$$y. The guy you met at happy hour turns out to be married; the majority of men in New York are gay; and men can’t afford the majority of women.

So in order to find true love, you turn down every man who tries to sleep with you— this will be every man you meet.

Everything from $16 cocktails and $8 beers, $3 espressos, $100 brunches, $22 spent at Regal Cinemas, $3,400/month studio apartments (in Stuytown); the $26 burger; and $30,000 tuition to send your kid to a decent elementary school is a lifestyle price tag that’s a far cry from living above the social “norm” in America.

Not even trying to be a hater on this one. But these self proclaimed “creative individuals” with their kale-smoothie fueled juice diets; lumberbeards and wayfarers; sipping on their overpriced beers in their Canada Goose parkas are, in fact, not very hip at all.

They drag you to trendy new neighborhoods in Brooklyn, trying to convince to the world that it’s “up and coming” when really, they’re trendy little gentrifying agents.

New York is the shinning mecca where @ssholes live and where non-a$$holes go to become those people’s neighbors.

The Wall Street a-holes; the a-holes who get what they want and don’t say thank you; the landlord a-holes; the cabbie a-hole; the door-guy at the club a***hole; the trust-fund brat; the “I know somebody, that knows somebody, that knows Jay Z’s manager” a**hole, etc… the list goes on.

You name, New York’s got it.

And as far as egos go, people are always in your face with their unsolicited two cents.