Google is fed up with your Google Glass lies

Now that Google has provided a “how not to be an asshole” guide for its Google Glass users, the company is turning its attention to the unassimilated, and it has stern words for them. Apparently, the unwashed troglodytes of the world have been spreading lies about Glass, and these falsehoods have the potential to interfere with Google’s plan for eternal global harmony and/or cyber-enslavement. Thus the company has published a list of the “Top 10 Google Glass Myths” on Google+, the social network website that has taken Friendster by storm.

The myth-busting list is clearly written by someone who has read one too many half-baked Google Glass “think pieces,” and many of the items on the list are simple matters of fact. For instance, Glass is not always on and recording everything, and it doesn’t possess creepy facial-recognition technology. Some of the debunking efforts are less convincing than others, though:

Myth 8 - Glass is only for those privileged enough to afford it

The current prototype costs $1500 and we realize that is out of the range of many people. But that doesn’t mean the people who have it are wealthy and entitled. In some cases, their work has paid for it. Others have raised money on Kickstarter and Indiegogo. And for some, it’s been a gift.

Because it’s not expensive if somebody else bought it for you. And then there are moments when Google issues thinly veiled threats to the non-believers:

Myth 7 - Glass is the perfect surveillance device

If a company sought to design a secret spy device, they could do a better job than Glass! Let’s be honest: if someone wants to secretly record you, there are much, much better cameras out there than one you wear conspicuously on your face and that lights up every time you give a voice command, or press a button.

“Record you with Google Glass? That’s crazy! We know of much more effective ways to surreptitiously monitor you.”

Just bear in mind, would-be banners: Glass can be attached to prescription lenses, so requiring Glass to be turned off is probably a lot safer than insisting people stumble about blindly in a locker room.

Yeah, “would-be banners,” it would be a real shame if somebody got hurt and sued you. A real shame.

Then again, while the stumbling scenario may be less safe, it does sound pretty amusing. Hopefully, if it ever happens, there will be someone nearby to record the high jinks with their always-on, face-recognizing Google Glass.