Hell I know all about roller derby gals. I had a restraining order against 2 of them. I ran into a couple at a Denny's in 1996 and told them if they could munch carpet as well as they munched their waffles, it's no wonder they looked like such a happy couple. After my meal, they ambushed me in the alley out back with a pantyhose full of nails. Was the comment worth it though? Hell yeah it was!

Then there's my mom...

I just love stereotypes from people who have obviously never been to a bout.

Stop thinking so much. What you said makes it seem like you're worried about everything, about other people, about yourself, your self image, how other people perceive you, about why this and about why that. Take it from someone who's dealt with this for his whole life: if you spend so much time in your own head obsessing about this stuff, you start to lose touch with the real world.

And it's not about waiting and watching, or about trying to make something happen. Because those are actually just opposite ways of doing the exact same thing. You're trying to force a relationship to happen. The difference being one approach is passive-aggressive and the other's more assertive, but in the end it's essentially the same move.

My advice is to just relax and let go and let life happen. Be open to things that come your way, and try not to stress yourself out.

It doesn't seem very useful to me. In fact, it sounds like he tells her that both actively trying to make it happen and passively waiting for it to happen are the wrong choices, but then he goes on to suggest passively waiting for it to happen. I guess that maybe he's saying be passive but put finding someone completely out of her mind, but to me that seems almost impossible to do without just giving up like he did.

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“The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.” - Hillary Clinton

It doesn't seem very useful to me. In fact, it sounds like he tells her that both actively trying to make it happen and passively waiting for it to happen are the wrong choices, but then he goes on to suggest passively waiting for it to happen. I guess that maybe he's saying be passive but put finding someone completely out of her mind, but to me that seems almost impossible to do without just giving up like he did.

That's actually not what I said.

My advice, actually, is that she should get out more, meet more people, and stop getting stuck on the idea of having to land some specific guy (whether that means a particular person she has in mind at the time, or a specific archetype that she thinks is "right" for her). I think it's a pattern of behavior that sets her up for failure from the start and that might be causing a lot of stress in her life. I think it might be beneficial for her to try and break it. Other that that, I think she should just have fun, live her life, try to stop stressing so much about this, and be open to whatever or whoever crosses her path. And most importantly to stop overthinking/overanalyzing herself and her relationship situation. I would guess she's causing herself a lot of stress, which isn't good for her own health, and is probably something that other people can pick up on when they meet her. When I say she needs to relax and just live her life, that's what I'm referring to.

Aside from that, she should probably be cautious about getting comfortable too quickly, as well.

And yes, I am admittedly a funny source for advice on this subject. And I think I've hit my quota on relationship discussion for the first quarter of 2013.

My advice, actually, is that she should get out more, meet more people, and stop getting stuck on the idea of having to land some specific guy (whether that means a particular person she has in mind at the time, or a specific archetype that she thinks is "right" for her). I think it's a pattern of behavior that sets her up for failure from the start and that might be causing a lot of stress in her life. I think it might be beneficial for her to try and break it. Other that that, I think she should just have fun, live her life, try to stop stressing so much about this, and be open to whatever or whoever crosses her path. And most importantly to stop overthinking/overanalyzing herself and her relationship situation. I would guess she's causing herself a lot of stress, which isn't good for her own health, and is probably something that other people can pick up on when they meet her. When I say she needs to relax and just live her life, that's what I'm referring to.

Aside from that, she should probably be cautious about getting comfortable too quickly, as well.

And yes, I am admittedly a funny source for advice on this subject. And I think I've hit my quota on relationship discussion for the first quarter of 2013.

OK, that makes more sense to me when you put it that way. Especially the get out more and refuse to fixate on a narrowly defined Mr. Right parts.

__________________

“The American people are tired of liars and people who pretend to be something they’re not.” - Hillary Clinton

The other night when I was going to that girls art show, it was in Downtown San Diego. That's about a 15 min drive each way. So I drove down there and hunted for parking for about 20 minutes with no luck. Finally parked in a pay lot ($7) and walked to the art show. I saw her stuff and it was nice and the place was packed. I looked around for her and didnt see her among the 250+ people that were there so I sent her a text.

30 min went by and nothing so I left, deflated. I haven't drank all year. That night instead of driving home, I drove to a dive bar by my house, where the bartender is a good friend and talked it out. I was pretty bummed out.

When I got home I noticed my phone was frozen. I turned it off and back on again and a bunch of texts popped up onto my phone. She had been texting me all night asking where I was and what not. I had used some kind of navigation on my phone to find the place and it glitched my phone out and froze it, but I couldn't tell.

I was so pissed at my phone and so embarrassed that I was at the right place and so was she and I couldn't find her.

So I felt pretty bad about myself and today finally got over my embarrassment and asked her out and we're going out on Thursday and this time she's coming this way so I don't have to worry about getting lost lol.