What're The Wachowskis Looking To Make With Jupiter Ascending??

It's been four years now since the Wachowskis got behind the camera for SPEED RACER, but with CLOUD ATLAS coming later this year, and

Things have been super secret over in the camp of the Wachowskis as the move ahead on their original sci-fi epic JUPITER ASCENDING. All we know so far is that Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum are attached, but, more than that, no one's known what story they're looking to tell exactly... that is, until now.

Vulture managed to get their hands on a pretty extensive plot layout that finally keys us into what JUPITER ASCENDING is about.

A recent Russian immigrant — played by actual Ukrainian immigrant Mila Kunis — who is busily scrubbing toilets for a living. Unbeknownst to her, she actually possesses the same perfect genetic makeup as the Queen of the Universe and is therefore a threat to her otherwise immortal rule.

These evolved beings fall into various different groups, all of which share some human DNA but who have become evolved after being bred with animal DNA to heighten their best characteristics — e.g., soldiers getting their fearlessness, strength, and a pack mentality from wolves; workers getting their industriousness and reputation for diligence from bees.

Pretty soon, a bounty hunter of the evolved-being type is dispatched to dispose of the Cleaning Lady with the Great Pair of Nucloetides, but, as you’d expect with a MATRIX re-dux, they fall in love... And for having fallen for his target, the bounty hunter — who we hear will be played by Channing Tatum — well, let’s just say that things get messy after that, because his employers take a-less-than-enlightened-being reaction to his decision to protect rather than kill her.

Let's please not act like homophobic assholes and attack Lana Wachowski for her personal life. Let's act like assholes with good taste in movies and attack the Wachowskis for making three of the most god-awful films of the 2000s and retroactively devaluing pretty much everything important about "The Matrix" in cinema history.
I remember The Matrix Reloaded midnight premiere like it was yesterday. I hadn't seen a theater that excited since opening night of The Phantom Menace (bad omen). The crowd was cheering and hollering in the beginning. By the end of the convoluted, structurally disastrous, emotionally inert and tremendously disappointing sequel, the entire audience sat there like we witnessed our favorite team losing the World Series. Finally, after people started shuffling out of the theater, my cousin (a huge Matrix fan) started clapping, and the crowd told him to shut up. People not only refused to clap at the end of a sold-out midnight premiere (something I've never seen before or since), but they were downright hostile.
So yeah, I won't be seeing this movie.

2001 can be summarized as "A couple of guys chase a giant rectangle through space while a supercomputer goes nuts and tries to kill them.At the end one of the guys transforms into a space baby."
Point being, the best movie can be made to sound WTF???, but then reasoned reaction has never been a fanboy specialty, so have at it, dudes.

I was hung over and went to an afternoon Attack of the Clones showing to avoid the sun. So it was kind of hard to avoid yawning during polical crap, Vader rolling down hills with his girlfriend, etc. Some fat fuck in the row behind me was getting all annoyed by this and making "hmmmp!" sounds. Credits roll and he's doing this crazed clapping performance while everybody else quietly files out.

People that get into the bounty hunting business usually aren't pretty boys. And chicks that look like Mila Kunis generally get opportunities, whether deserved or not, to do more glamorous things than clean toilets.

I know there was some goofy overblown stuff in the sequels. One of my biggest gripes about the sequels is that they forgot there were supposed to be "real" people in the Matrix... every single person except a couple non-speakers in the sequels is a redpill or a program/machine. I really thought the Matrix sequels would be like superhero movies set inside the Matrix, where Neo and the rebels would be bending the rules of the Matrix to free/rescue people and upset the system superhero-style.
Lately I can't decide whether I believe Zion to be real or another level of the Matrix. It's all about how you interpret the orange sentinel "ghost attack" on Neo when he's approaching the machine city.
For years I thought the sentinel went through Neo. But no, only the sentinel's orange-code "ghost" went through Neo... the sentinel was sort of mind-attacking him like in Ghost in the Shell. And Neo is able to kill sentinels outside the matrix because he is wirelessly connected to the Matrix and has some kind of exec-level proxy control over attacking machines in the real world. So neither the sentinel ghost attack nor the fact that Neo can destroy sentinels in the real world needs to mean that Zion is another layer of Matrix.
Although if Zion is another layer of matrix, that would be fitting.
I personally would love to see a Matrix 4 that shows either the prehistory or the followup to the first trilogy.

Killer-for-pay falls in love with his prey, who doesn't know what's unusual about her origin, now they're both on the run...
The only way this would be original is if "Queen Bee" Mila swells up the end and spends the rest of her existence laying eggs for her colony...

Unless you're watching it with the actual people who made it or acted in it. I mean, do you clap at home when you watch a movie...no you don't. It's just weirdos that want to draw attention to themselves.

Written by Aaron Sorkin, starring Samuel L. Jackson as Teddy Long and Travolta in male drag as Vince McMahon directed by Micheal Mann using the shittiest consumer grade looking cameras this side of Public Enemies.

There is literally nothing in that description that gives me any reason to watch that film. Mila Kunis, overrated with a voice that can shatter glass. Channing Tatum, a charisma black hole whose only strong performance came in a role where he got to goof off. And a story that is basically Snow White in Space. Dead on Arrival.

I also watched the entire Matrix trilogy not too long ago, and while it does hit some bum notes here and there I think it's overall an impressively realized vision with a lot of interesting things to say.
The dripping venom toward the series overall continues to strike me as a case of herd mentality taking over. Certainly there are a number of aspects that could and rightfully should have been handled differently, if not dropped altogether, but the "worst trilogy ever" or "worst sequels ever" stuff is simply overwrought.

scrubbing toilets was all I needed to hear.
As for the 2 Matrix sequels. I walked out of Reloaded dissapointed like everyone else, but it was after I saw Revolutuions that I realized that Reloaded was better a better film than I gave it credit for. It still has all the flaws we have discussed ad naseum, CGI Neo looks too fake, the fights don't have any real weight to them since no one gets hurt anymore, the rave in the cave, etc. But there were some really good points to the movie that stood out.
1. Finally getting to Zion and seeing how the city works.
2. The fight with Seraph was cool, even if there was no real reason for it.
3 The highway chase was outstanding.
4. The Architect scene and his explanation of true meaning of The One.
5. Monica Belluci in that tight dress, Yowsa!
Reloaded at least seemed like it had some new ideas to sell us. Other then the big attack on Zion sequence, Revoultions seemed llike they were just recreating/recycling scenes from the past two movies.

If you didn't figure out at the end of the first movie when Neo flew the fuck off into the sky that the Humans would eventually triumph, you could've just stopped there.
Left with the inevitable follow-up routine, they managed to throw a few twists in there...
* The Oracle wasn't alone, she had a fellowship of rebellious programs
* Not all the rebellious programs were allies
* Agent Smith was "alive" and well, and replicating like a motherfucker in a novel fashion identical to a computer virus
* Neo had been "set up" by the Matrix's central program...the humans' rebellion was fully anticipated
* Agent Smith could take over humans, too
* The trilogy followed a pattern of First Movie: mostly Matrix, Second Movie: equal parts Matrix and reality, Third Movie: mostly reality
* They killed off (!!!) both romantic leads by the end of the trilogy, and Neo ends the show with his eyeballs fried out of his head
* The Twins were pretty fucking cool, even if they went out like punks
* The whole fucking thing ends in a realpolitick-style truce, instead of a bullshit defeat of a more powerful enemy
Get over Morpheus sitting out MATRIX REVOLUTIONS and that ridiculously dated rave in MATRIX RELOADED, and it really ain't that bad, people...
Don't get me started on why I hated SPEED RACER, though...I equal parts root for and hiss at the W. Bros.

Love that Dice routine.
"I was watching a commercial and there's this chick, she's wearing an apron, she's on her knees...and I got a chill...right up my spine..it looks so...right. I mean, guys shouldn't be doing that stuff!"

That movie was freaking awesome! When my childhood icons like Transformers & G.I. Joe was being raped by hacks. Speed Racer captured the very essence of why I loved watching that show! It was great and I loved every minute of it.

So these intellegent machines turn humans into a power source, but for some reason create a Matrix for them to virtually live in. For no reason other than to give them the means to overthrow them. WTF?
If there was some logical reason to give their "batteries" a virtual existence, how about make them all cavemen. Neo-caveman would never hack the system and free the humans.
Granted it's got amazing visuals and all, but if you stop for one second to really think about the plot it completely falls apart.

However, their input be it producers or screenwriters have failed to gain critical success from the aforementioned films.
And don't get me started on Speed Racer it came off too flashy while lacking substance IMO.
I respect them for being fans of Anime as Matrix was inspired from Japanamation, but overall I'm not too impressed with their previous projects post The Matrix.
Rave Orgy=Nuke The Fridge.

Ok he was good in Haywire but Gina and Evan really stole the show.
I haven't watched 21 Jump Street as of yet, but I'll give it a peep this rainy weekend just to see how far this Wigga ex stripper's acting has progressed.
No matter what tweaks are being done to GIJoe retaliation, Duke has to stay dead.
meaning; less Tatum, cause we hate 'em.

That really sounds like a fake script that is intentionally leaked to keep secrecy for the real script. I mean seriously, that setup sounds like something a no-talent 17 year old scriptwriter would throw together in a 1/2 hour. Queen of the Universe - how silly is that? Hope it's good though
I did like all the matrix films. I didn't LOVE the first one and HATE the others - just sort of liked them all.
Finally, it takes SERIOUS courage to have a sex change. Fuck off haters - living true to yourself is the most courageous thing a person can do.

That was a little out of the blue. I made no commentary on my feelings about the transgender issue, made no attack on Lana Wachowski, and there was no name calling from me, only you.
Stay classy indeed.

Now you make me want to watch it again. I wonder if it comes across that way because the Matrix's style has been imitated (usually poorly) so much that it seems like a tired cliche now. Back in its day, the Matrix felt like a new genre, though of course it was scrapped together from lots of other genres.
One small detail that I've always liked about The Matrix is that every fight scene serves a purpose other than merely to add action. We, or one of the characters, learns something in every fight scene. That's unusual for an action movie.
Also, I remember that the movie knew it was trying to be cool, and didn't take itself too seriously. Agent Smith's neck crackling during his fight with Neo in the subway, Neo's nod to Bruce Lee during the sparring match with Morpheus, etc.
But still, I need to watch it again...

1) Channing Tatum has all the talent and charisma of a well-sculpted piece of meatloaf. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, but he just doesn't have it going on behind the eyes when he's acting.
2) Speed Racer is fucking awesome and totally honors its source material, did you guys even watch the flick? It's technocolor joy and full of fun.
3) The plot of this sounds like young adult fiction, and not particularly good at that. So everyone has some animal DNA? Are they bred that way or given the boost once their fate/role has been determined? Also, why would people still have free will if they were coded to behave with certain stereotypical animal behaviors? Do people need to have the same animal-splice to fall in love (which involves a hefty dose of chemical & hormonal interaction) or is that considered genetic beastiality? Why would a queen-gene end up in a janitor? How would that happen in the first place? Don't they check?

Adding more Tatum could get expensive depending on the amount of Tatum has to be added. Someone really should do the math to determine the optimum Tatum content required given the parameters of the project and whether or not this Tatum Factor is consistent or varies depending on circumstances.

FURRIES
"the Great Pair of Nucloetides" [sp]
Retarded
"The Wachowskis"
One hit wonders who have had their heads up their asses ever since
The Matrix was one of the greatest movies ever made. Nothing in Hollywood makes sense if you think about it long enough (or the Bible). It has amazing visuals and profoundly meaningful scenes.

BOUND
Seriously. Yeah the Matrix sequels weren't that great -- and I've still not seen Speed Racer -- but they gave us BOUND -- which is one of the best films of the 1990s... and freaking hot as hell as well.
I'd trust them again. Will reserve judgment for a script review/trailer/film review. I'm intrigued for now.

It was better than I was expecting. If you can let yourself get immersed in the weirdness, it's pretty good. If you're looking for something in particular, or trying to figure out why they did this or that it's a little harder to get into it. It's Speed Racer, pretty much.

How does that guy keep getting work? At least Keanu Reeves has the ability to make something out of not much, somehow. But Tatums only ability is to turn something into the contents of a week old diaper.

And thank Satan I stopped doing hallucinogenics prior to the invention of 'bath salts', because that shit is crazy.
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As I said, I liked Speed Racer. It's not perfect, and it definitely seems to divide people strongly to one side or the other. But if you just let yourself sink into it and enjoy it for what it is, it's pretty entertaining.

When utilized properly, he brings in decent performances. His best was A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. In general though, he doesn't have the ability to carry a movie. 21 Jump Street worked because he was the foil. Fighting worked because he just needed to be walking meat. Haywire worked because it was a showcase for that actress and he was just a small role in it.
The Vow depended on him being able to be dramatic and step up to a heavy-weight role. That movie was falling apart on its own but he didn't help.
This movie sounds like it'll rest too much on him and he just isn't a lead yet. Don't know if he ever will be, but he's not completely without talent.
I'll still probably see it though as there isn't enough sci-fi out for my taste.

I always found Matrix Reloaded fell flat for me. The action and everything was just a bit yawn. All the talk of, "best car chase ever" then it was just eh...
With the eh made even more ridiculous when like a month later Bad Boys 2 came out and actually had an amazingly awesome car chase scene.
The problem with Matrix Revolutions was, it seems as if they kind of missed a missing chapter between the sequels. However as an actual film, I found it really entertaining and engaging. It didn't fall flat and unlike Reloaded, the action once again had a cool factor.
I never get why it's the more maligned of the sequels. It was way better and more cohesive than 2.

Socially isolated, closer to his pc than people, writing viruses and working in a crappy office cubicle, Mr Anderson turns out to really be his peoples Messiah, the world he can't fit into is an illusion, he gets the ass kicking sexy girl and gets to wear a black, flappy, coat.
And thanks to The Matrix we got a whole generation of these losers dressing like Goths and waiting for trinity, all the while working tech support for HP!

They haven't made a watchable movie since the first Matrix. They said all that needed to be said in that one film but somehow manged to shit all over it with two...count them.. TWO pointless additions. After Speed Racer I have absolutely no faith they can deliver anything other than a steaming piece of over stylized shite.

I know it has become rote to say this at this point, but i've been reading this site since I was like 14(im 27 now) and in that time i've never come across a worse writer on here, who seemingly has a bone to pick with every filmmaker or film coming out. Your shtick is getting reall old. Some people just want to read the news, ya know? Or at least objective reviews...Without a bunch of negative asides.

I remember that crap when it came out. They did their best to suppress the true champion trilogy classic LOTR. Before people actually realized the Wachowski's were not the skilled and visionary directors they were thought to be. Two stoned hippie looking stupid talking dudes? Matrix was a fluke or the rumors were true, they found and plagiarized some well prepared script from somewhere else.

Harry Potter, Narnia, LOTR, Matrix, SW, even Terminator in a way, all have heroes who are foretold in prophecy as the "chosen one" or along those lines. It's beyond tired and between that and the need to eventually tie every character's origin to their parents I was bored with it ten years ago.

Not that far off, really. The girls who used to deliver my newspaper looked like supermodels in headscarves. There's a huge Russian immigrant population where I live and often going to the supermarket is like watching a Russian peasant version of America's Next Top Model.

He chopped off his johnson, people. That right there is majorly messed up. And let's face it, they made two great films (Bound and Matrix) one good film (Matrix Revolutions) one so-so film (SPEED RACER) and one piece of crap (RELOADED) so it's not like I trust these tools? Er, one has a tool, the other does not.

Remember how Shia was announced and starring in nearly every movie???
Well it seems since Shia has become a dick they decided to pass the torch to Tatum.
Hollywood is so transparent.
You can expect this to be a very short love-affair as Tatum don't have an ounce of talent.

Or however you spell his name. I just don't get that guys appeal. All nervous and fast talking - his "acting" is just annoying. Tatum hasn't been great in everything he's done, but he hasn't been shit like some people make out, either. At least he actually comes across like he, ya know, ACTING! Instead of just reading his lines the same way over and over in a different costume like LaBouef... or however you spell his name.

Sure it veered into a totally unexpected direction than anyone thought, very untraditional... But in hindsight there's still so much that was good. Though arguably true that it is very anime in the same vein as Ghost in the Shell and the like where ideas and concepts are given priority over characters and traditional story, so it's understandable that audiences in general won't embrace such a thing... Also doesn't help that an important chunk of it is in Animatrix... But for those who've been through it all, it's a stand out franchise, and makes me wish that BS story Harry posted about Matrix 4 & 5 was true...
Also Speed Racer is superb! Kitschy? Yes... and drags a bit in the middle, but damn it was freaking fantastic! Especially the last half! There are few movies where you can say you've seen something new that you'd never seen or experienced before, and Speed Racer was it in the best way possible!

When there's one good scene between the two films, and said scene is essentially an exposition dump, that's a horrible sign.
What a shame, too. The first Matrix and the Animatrix felt like they were really building toward something. By the time we get to Revolutions, all of the neat philosophical threads were completely ditched for what was essentially a love story. Such a waste.
I'll also never really forgive the Wachowski's for nearly ruining fight scenes in cinema forever. There was so much wire work and CGI in Reloaded and Revolutions that the threat had all but disappeared. Sort of like watching a dance routine, or something. Most action films in the mid-aughts did poor men's versions of these fight scenes, and it was awful.

I'm not sure I want to see a Justice League movie, but if it were to be made, I'd hope to god that Cameron stays far, far away. It's not 1987 anymore.
Luckily we won't have to worry about that, since Cameron has stated he's going to dedicate the rest of his career to making massively overrated, vapid films about giant blue cats and the virtues of the white man.

because at the three showings of the avengers i saw..there was a lot of clapping at the end. I remember seeing the first matrix at a sneak preview and after that there was a freaking standing ovation....noone at that time had seen anything like that on screen. it was as close to a live action anime as were likely to get. at the time it was extremely refreshing and started the trend of March big movie releases, if you remember. point is nothing wrong with clapping.....

This sounds like total and complete shit on the order of what that lunatic Shyamalan would dream up. The Wachowskis have completely lost their fucking minds, and one of them even lost their penis!
I understand some of you really love Speed Racer, but I got the Blu-ray in a $5 bin a few weeks ago thinking that at least it was fast and colorful and my 2 year old might like it. He and and have tried to watch it a couple of times but it's just stupid beyond belief. I can't even keep track of what the fuck is going on in the race! You'd think that part would be easy to convey. Ofc ourse having the first half hour take place during a single race with numerous flashbacks doesn't help.
Really hard to believe these are the same guys that did the original Matrix. I think it's about time we stopped floating them credit because that was clearly a fluke at this point.

Equally as frustrating and miserable is reading the wrong use of "there", "they're" and "their". People aren't even ashamed of their illiteracy any more. I used to think it was something people tried to hide. Now it seems it's actively flaunted!