Have you ever visited somewhere where you used to live and been emotional about it?That's what happened to me today, when I went for lunch at my Auntie's house in Codicote near where my Dad lives, and wanted to go for a walk after lunch to see the village and see the places I used to go when my family lived there. Anyway, went for a walk around Codicote looking at the places and as I was walking around I felt sad about it because there were all the places I visited when I was little like the big recreation ground behind the Costcutter, and the lovely barn house I liked in Farrier's Close, and the gorgeous little newsagent's caled"The Red House" which is where Farrier's Close is near. It all brought back memories to me as I walked through the village.

If you had lived somewhere and you went back to it, you know how I feel. But the emotional memory which came back to me had to be seeing our lovely old house where we lived!

It looked so sad standing there with it's lovely courtyard and yellow rose peeking out over the courtyard wall looking sad. I also from where I was standing see the window where my bedroom was, but for a minute, I stood there and dreamed that all of us in the family were back there, having fun and being together, and the best part but made me sad, was the fact I dremed Mum was alive again enjoying the house as she always had it.

That was probably what made me upset visiting the place again, but still I thought of the good memories.

Am in a strange mood tonight.I sorted out all Dad's post as I am looking after his house,( without opening them of course as that would be rude and his mail is private!) but as I was sorting out his mail, a strange brown envelope showed itself addressed to me, from my old college.

I immediately thought why were they writing to me, I don't go there anymore, but opened it and saw an invitation to a tenth birthday celebration of where I used to live, a supported housing scheme called Briar Patch in Letchworth. I wondered about this invite for ages and whether I should go or not. This is what I want you to help out with bloggers, Do I go and risk seeing two ex friends and my first ex boyfriend and heads turning from them, and see people who were nice, or do I say no thank you to them and I won't be able to go? Aaargh!

What should I do bloggers, go and risk seeing who I hate or not go at all? Help me out please, what would you do in my situation?

I went back to Stevenage town after seeing Chris and this girl, and started to cry. Chris had twigged all day what I was feeling and we had a talk about it. I told him that it felt strange to see him with Carrie.He had known that that was worrying me as I started to think of all the funny things me and Chris had done.He talked to me in town and being the nicest person he is said it doesn't change how I feel about him.He also said I was like a sister to him and family comes first for him, and that I am understanding more than people think and that I see people who are close to me rather than people who are far away.I still love him and hope one day that he will think about me being even more than friends but as a boyfriend.Special people are hard to come by bloggers, but when you find them keep them close to your heart.

A strange thing happened to me today. I went to see my friend Chris and saw his girlfriend Carrie, it was quite strange to see them together but got used to it.It was good to be introduced to her and I made a new friend out of it. Hopefully everything will turn out fine with it though.Bloggers, have you ever been with your friends and through being with them you make new mates.glad to know you liked the questions I set for you last post. Send them on to your mates and see what they think!It's good to have mates especially as I can be a bit lonely and I care a lot about about my mate Chris and don't want to see him get hurt.

I have been reading all other Ouch bloggers and got the idea off Timmargh as he was doing a load of questions under the post heading" Musical Baton" So thought I would have a go too!Thinking caps on you lot- Damon you too! Mine is to find out more about you lot.

I've just been watching the programme on Channel 4 just now called "The Strangest Village in Britain.It was a very thought provoking programme as it showed a bunch of villagers who all have learning disabilities who live in a village called Botton with their co workers and their families.

The programme showed the villagers in their daily lives and working together in groups around the village itself.I watched it with interest as I have a learning disability myself, but thankfully a mild form of it, but I could symapathise with the villagers but was shocked to see some of the disputes that went on as they were working, and they seemed to have a vague misconception of others but because of their difficulties that was to be accepted, but it was great to see them being integrated with others. People with learning difficulties and disabilities are often viewed by non disabled people in society as different and they can't understand and they are quick to judge their misconceptions on us disabled types. I think integration helps people like the ones shown in the film and others such as us Ouch readers and bloggers, not forgetting Damon, Mik Scarlet and all the disabled people around the world.As Mik said in one of his columns: "That's one up for us"What are your views on this subject?

Trawling through the blogs of Ouch readers is great and you get to meet all of them and hear about their lives and all your blogs are great.

Imagine my surprise then as I was trawling through one of your blogs and happened to see a blog called"Wherever you are" and it sounded really good so I clicked my mouse over the nameand got into the blog.I then wondered who had made it. I scrolled down the end of the webpage and found it had been done by Vaughan Simons.This left me in fits of laughter because I thought that I knew him and it was a shock!It was him! I could not believe that Damon's colleague had written a blog for himself and it made me laugh because I sent him a message asking if it was really him. Aargh! I feel shocked, but his website is cool with cool photos and other snippets of strange things.Sorry, that is embarrassing, and Vaughan is great, I feel guilty for laughing now!

I had a strange thought enter my mind today and wanted to share it withyou bloggers.Feel free to leave comments about it.

Basically, as I was going around my lovely town Welwyn Garden City Istarted to wonder about what it would be like if I was small! Don't ask why, ithappened!

It would be strange though if I was and started thinking what it would be like,All the familar shops and buildings would be towering above me like a giant, All the cars would be large compared to me and be scary and overpowering.Even the familiar shopping centre,the lovely Howard Centre in the middle of the town would be like a greenhousefilled with huge stands and people towering above me with booming voices.I think this thought must of come to me either because I am a bit of a shortie,or because I felt small today. what do you think? Feel free to set my mind at rest please!

I thought I would update to tell you about blogs I like so you can see otherslike me who write blogs:Try these great blogs and nice people behind them! :www.doyourworst.blogspot.com - My friend and internet pal Damon

As you know , I am passionate about disability issues but one thing thatI enjoyed finding out my disability issues from was cruelly axed by the BBC and was promptlytaken off the air in 1998. I am of course talking about my best favourite programme then called " From the Edge". Anyone remember it?You probably remember it like I do for having some great issues that the presenters all talked about such as transport, holidays, and places of interest. One best thing for me about the programme had to be seeing Mik my hero, be the actionman reporter and going to all different places and telling us about them in a funny way.He always could interview people in a relaxed, informal way and he could always laughif the places were funny. All the other presenters were good too and all seemed to know a lot about whatever issues they covered. They also had comedy slots in the programme too which got made into comedy seriesfor BBC2. They were "The Alphabet Soup Show", "In Stitches with Daphne Doesgood".Damon, my internet pal and phone-friend was the Assistant Producer and he told me that he also worked on finding the disability issues for the show as well. He thinks the same as me at bringing "From The Edge" back to the TV screen.One fact I will give you though, did you know the title music was cleverly produced by lovely Mik? There you go then, something you didn't know!If anyone has videos of it or pictures of the show, please tell me as I would love to watch it again!

Went to a great launch party today and it was the launch of two great things, Onebeing some workbooks that can be used by young people with learning disabilities,and the other being a website presentation with our personal experiences and much moreabout the workbooks being turned into PDF documents for use by the above people mentioned.

The day was great and was held in the posh Diana Memorial Fund offices in County Hall, Westministernear the London Eye and Big Ben.

The party was great and I felt humbled, proud, whatever you can say when something is really good!to be part of it all with friends that I made when I did the Macintyre Care Focus and AdvisoryGroups,because Macintyre Care and a lady called Kate Jackson started me on the road tosuccess three years ago today.

I have written about Macintyre Care before on this blog as being one of my favourite websites,but now if you look on the site you can go into everything that was covered today at the launchto see pictures of me, not forgetting Ajay who did the artwork cleverly, Ellen and her leisure storyand Kate's nice brother Paul telling us about his spare time.I don't like one of the pictures of me but tell me what you think?

Have you ever had a day where you get to go somewhere you've longed to go to?

That happened to me when in the first week in January I was invited by Damon, the editor of my favourite website Ouch to come for a coffee. I said yes and after my legendary Macintyre Care meeting, I caught the tube to White City to meet Damon and Vaughan the assistant producerI was very nervous but when I got there and sat waiting for them, I tried to calm down but it wasn't easy. Well you would do the same thing wouldn't you?Anyway, Damon and Vaughan found me in Reception and we went to a posh BBC teabar,beside a central courtyard. My body felt weird because of my nerves but talking to themmade me feel better. I had a great time talking to them but the great part was that Damon has a guide dog who is the sweetest guide dog you have ever seen called Liam. While me and Damon were talking , Liam stared at me with great big eyes and looked at me lovinglywhile I was talking to Damon, Vaughan at this point had gone back to the office. Most Ouch readers will kill me for saying this but I got a rucksack,

blue plastic mug and three mousemats which going

with the white mug I have at home, I have all four Ouch goodies! Ha! Ha!I am the only person who has, but don't worry, I never boast about it!

It all started when me and my friend charlotte walked down my road and my ex turned up out of the blue and walked past us! He gave me a massive shock and scared me senseless!

Then when me and my friend got back to the house , I found a note sticking out from my letterbox. I don't know why but reading the note upset me a bit because I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling.

Ex boyfriends can sometimes be a bit annoying can't they?

I now feel like Bridget Jones where my ex is the bad boy Cleaver and any nice man is the nice Mr Darcy!

The worst part is that when me and Charlotte went into town , my ex just had to show up again.