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They say when you know, you know. But deciding when to finally say ‘I love you’ to a partner for the first time is a personal matter.

After all, every relationship is different and there is no one right time.

In this era of fast love and disposable dating though, it is apparently taking us longer than ever to declare our feelings.

Brits now take an average of 137 days in a new relationship to say ‘I love you’ – 25 days longer than they did in 2014, when it took on average 112 days, research from eharmony found.

People living in London take even longer, waiting on average 194 days (around six months) to say those three little words.

In Wales, the average was 163 days, while those in the east of England clearly wear their hearts on their sleeve – they say ‘I love you’ within 106 days, or around three and a half months.

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So why is it that we take are taking so long to drop the ‘L-bomb’?

What’s stopping us and when is the right time to tell your lover you think they’re the one?

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Researchers at eHarmony put our delay to share the love down to a growing use of dating apps and more sexual fluidity (this, they say has meant people are less likely to be judged for their sexual behaviour and so feel more freedom to date lots of different people).

Psychologist Emma Kenny adds that our reluctance to commit our feelings to words could be down to the paradox of choice – the more options there are, the harder it is to make a decision.

‘While having a greater range of options and ways to find a partner can be a positive thing, it also means today’s dating scene is increasingly competitive,’ she said.

‘This can mean people are afraid to take the risk and say “I love you” for fear that doing so too early and coming on too strong may backfire and push a partner away, rather than cementing the relationship.’

For Londoners, she adds, the delay could come down to work life and priorities.

‘Londoners taking longest to confess their love comes as no shock. In the city, life is so fast-paced – with professional and social lives as busy as ever,’ she says.

‘It takes time to express your feelings to someone and Londoners often have other priorities. As such, even when they do eventually find the right person, it might just take that little bit longer.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

London journalist Joe Lo, 27, tells Metro.co.uk that perhaps our hesitance to say ‘I love you’ is simply because we are moving away from traditional methods of showing love.

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‘I hear the real romantic thing now is not saying I love you but deleting your Tinder account,’ he says, adding that he thinks the rise of smartphone communication is likely to blame for our reticence.

So how long did it take Joe to say those three words?

‘It took me about eight months,’ he says. ‘I was only 19 when I met my fiancé and neither of us were looking for anything serious so we took our time. We definitely loved each other quite a while before we said it though.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Student Lorna Connolly is on the opposite end of the scale – she and her now-husband uttered the words after a mere two weeks.

‘We said it after two weeks but we’ve both said we felt it before, we just didn’t want to scare the other!’ she tells metro.co.uk. ‘We had a fast-paced relationship. We moved in after a month and were engaged after three.’

Useful dating information

Research by online dating service Toffee of 5,000 app users found:

It takes an average of four days and 36 messages to swap numbers

It takes an average of one week for users to agree to meet for a date

It takes an average of 10 dates before a relationship is discussed

72% would swipe left on an empty bio

53% would swipe left on a profile featuring an Instagram handle

66% would swipe left on a profile with heavily edited pictures

71% would swipe right on a profile with more natural images

68% would swipe left on someone who’s just ‘looking for fun’

62% would be more likely to use a dating app with ‘icebreaker’ features as it shows off a users’ personality

54% of women would be more likely to date someone who made them laugh, over someone they were aesthetically attracted to

51% of men would be more likely to date someone who made them laugh, over someone they were aesthetically attracted to

47% would meet up with another dating app users going to the same events as them

Samantha Evans, a sex toy company owner, says the timing comes down to a number of reasons.

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‘I can’t remember how it took for me and my partner to say I love you, maybe a few months, but we say it every day and have done so for the last 28 years!’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Everyone is unique. It may depend on your personality, your upbringing, your relationship. Some people just struggle with intimacy and saying ‘I love you’, others say it to everyone they have ever had a relationship with. There is no right or wrong answer.

Contrary to eharmony’s research though, a YouGov poll of 3,947 people from 2017 year found that the majority of people (22%) agreed the time to say ‘I love you’ should be after three months.

So, while it’s not wise to throw the love grenade into your relationship if it doesn’t stand on a solid foundation, if you’re three months in and you think you’re both getting the feels, maybe now’s the time to say it.

Or if you’re not ready for that level of commitment, at least delete your Tinder.