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How to Explain Adoption to Your Adopted Child

Date Published:

April 10th, 2020

You’re over the hump of adopting your newborn baby or child. While it was sometimes an arduous and tedious task, you’ve all settled in and are enjoying all that life has to offer. However, as your child ages, he or she may begin to ask questions about their biological parents. This can happen from a very early age if you have adopted a child of a different race than yourself, or your adopted child looks different than the rest of the family (such as being exceptionally tall). So how do you explain to your child that they were adopted?

AIM Adoptions is an adoption agency in Houston. Here, we offer an accepting and caring environment for birth mothers who find themselves with unplanned pregnancies. For over 30 years, we’ve found loving homes for hundreds of babies, and we will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. We are a Christian-based non-profit adoption agency, and we believe every child is a gift from God and deserves a loving home. In this blog post, we’ll go over some tips on how to explain to your child that they are adopted. Contact us today to get started!

TIPS TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR CHILD THAT HE OR SHE WAS ADOPTED

Start Early

Today, many parents vastly underestimate what their children are able to understand, or they are so protective of their children that they keep them in the dark. Either way, the very last thing you want is for your child to find out they are adopted from someone else. Instead, the fact that you adopted your children should be discussed regularly, even when toddlers. The key is keeping it simple and not making a big deal out of it. For example, even toddlers are curious about where babies come from. Some will ask you if they grew in your belly. Don’t lie! AIM Adoptions in Houston recommends that this is the perfect time to say something like “Babies do grow in tummies, but you grew in someone else’s tummy and then you were given to me!”. Follow this with a big hug, and that’s probably all you have to say for now. Obviously, as they age, their questions about their biological parents will become more sophisticated. For now, answer their questions and move on.

The Older Your Child Is, The Harder The Adoption Conversation Will Be

As we mentioned above, children are fully capable of understanding more than we give them credit for, especially in today’s world where information is rampant. The older your child is, the harder the adoption conversation will be. They may want to know why you didn’t tell them sooner, and it may even cause them to question who they are. Being adopted should have no bearing on who your child is, nor should it affect their view of themselves. Instead, when you tell your child, be as open and honest as possible, that is age-appropriate. The overarching theme is to emphasize that God intended them to come to your family and that you love them with all your heart, just as if you were their biological parents.

Keep Hurtful Details Hidden

Your child will most likely always have some yearning deep inside to know their biological parents, and this impulse should not be squashed. Thus, telling your child that their biological parents were abusive, were drug-users, or even that their mother got pregnant out of wedlock can make your child feel bad and make them feel negatively towards their biological parents. It can also be hurtful. Some children long for their biological parents, and if you say hurtful things about them, then they may even begin to resent you. There will be a time and a place for your child to learn more details, which is often when they are much older. For now, you want to stay as positive as you can about their biological parents, and again, emphasize how much you love them.

Make Adoption a Mute Point

AIM Adoptions in Houston wants to emphasize that overemphasizing the fact that your child is lucky to have been adopted by you, or that they are incredibly special for having been adopted can make your child feel an obligation towards you, or they can form an identity around their specialness. Adoption should be exactly what it is — a way a family was created, just like a regular family, with the only difference being they have different biological parents. By treating adoption nonchalantly, your child will come to see it as no big deal and accept it for what it is.

Seek Out Counseling for Yourself If You Need It

If there are issues related to adoption, they normally stem from the adoptive parents. Either you are having a difficult time with adoption, haven’t grieved fully if you cannot have biological children of your own, or you are afraid of how your adopted child will react. We are all human, and we all are fearful of rejection.

AIM Adoptions in Houston recommends that if you are having a hard time with any part of adoption to seek our help, either from a professional counselor or from an adoption support group. Sometimes, all you need is someone else in your shoes to talk or vent to, and there are no shortages of groups you can be a part of. AIM Adoptions regularly hosts events for our adoptive parents to get together, meet each other, and swap stories and ask for advice. We believe it does take a community to raise a child, so we do our part to create that community for you. We also offer a wealth of post-adoption services, including counseling, to help you adjust to your new life.

CHOOSE AIM ADOPTIONS AS YOUR HOUSTON ADOPTION AGENCY

If you are someone facing an unplanned baby, reach out to our Houston adoption agency today. Here at AIM Adoptions, we’ve helped hundreds of birth mothers who for whatever reason have chosen to give up their baby for adoption find loving homes. We are a non-profit, Christian-based adoption agency. We don’t judge you; we meet you right where you are. We offer prenatal care throughout your pregnancy, as well as help with finances, housing, and transportation. Our mission is to come alongside you and help you find the best family for your baby.

If you are a prospective adoptive family, we’re here to help. Our website has a wealth of information available for you. We understand that the adoption process can be complicated, and at times, frustrating. Besides the legal hoops you have to jump through to adopt, you also have to qualify by being Christian, being a traditional married couple, and by being able to provide a loving and financially stable home for your baby. If you are feeling overwhelmed by the process, please don’t hesitate to contact us via phone, email, or on our website. We are here to help you throughout this emotional process as well.

AIM Adoptions exists to help babies find loving homes. For over 30 years, we’ve been doing God’s calling on our lives by doing just that. If you are looking for an adoption agency that goes above and beyond for our families in the Houston-area, then contact us today to learn more!