Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm dreaming of a white jackass

Here I am sweating away in the heart of summer and this little jerk decides to prance around in his Winter Wonderland for the day. Look at him, standing on his hind fucking legs picking berries for the '10 poster. THE AIR CONDITIONING IN MY CAR IS NOT WORKING RIGHT NOW, ASSHOLE. Way to be a heartless weasel.

And what of your supposed purity, Ermine? I know you act like you would show me a world of peace and joy where candy canes dance among the lollipop trees. But what happens when I join you among the berries and the snow? Your belly would keep me warm, Ermine, but your empty promises would leave me cold. And soon the weather would warm, the snow would melt, and you would go back to being just another loser in a brown coat. So chew on that next time you think you're Rudolph the fucking reindeer.

No joke. Stay away from this thing. From the wikipedia entry: "The ermine is capable of killing animals much larger than itself. When it is able to obtain more meat than it can eat it will engage in 'surplus killing.' ... Like other mustelids it typically dispatches its prey by biting into the base of the skull to get at the centers of the brain responsible for such important biological functions as breathing."

Fucking dickless wonder. I'd call him a jack-off, but with no dick, how could that be? Know what? I don't care. You miserable little fucking winter wonderland, berry kissing jack-off! Go put your head in an oven!

The HEAT of the summer makes us MEAN you little f#@%^r. 101F here in the Central Valley and this is one of the cooler days. No snow here, snow bunny...but a lot of hunters...go back to the holiday card you came from and leave us alone!