Memory Monster

Helping out, Looking for shooting stars

I helped a former work colleague out early this afternoon by letting him come over and demo some knives, which is his new gig. Even though I would never do this for a stranger and find in-home demos extremely cheesy, and I really didn’t have time today, I decided to sit through the demo anyway, because I would hope somebody would be willing to do awkward things for me if I needed them to. Even people I don’t really know very well. It was kind of fun, even though both of us knew that there was no way I could afford to buy anything. I only wish it hadn’t taken over 1.5 hours. A lot of that was my fault though, for asking so many knife technique questions, and questions in general.

So I kind of got a late start on my other stuff. I didn’t get nearly enough done, but did get a few important pieces rolling for my grad program app – references requested, information gathered, essay outlined. And some other maintenance things out of the way that I now don’t need to do tomorrow.

This evening the kids came back. I went to grab vacuum bags at Sears, and then to walk Pilot Butte in the mostly-darkness, because nobody else felt like coming with me. It was beautiful up there, as always.

Unfortunately, a block from home, I saw a body lying in the road and a cluster of people standing around. My heart skipped a beat—it looked a lot like my greyhound Ruby. Same approximate color and shape, a little smaller. As I pulled closer, I could tell it was a fawn, still with spots. It had been hit by a car and the couple had stopped (so many people don’t) and the police had been called. Neighbors were milling about. The fawn had massive injuries, but was still alive and struggling—yet nobody was touching her—they were all paralyzed with inaction. I hurriedly parked, took everything out of my loose shorts pockets, and sat down with the baby, saying at least we could comfort her in her last moments. I stroked her and talked to her as her life ebbed away. So sad. I also tried to comfort the young couple who had hit the deer—they obviously felt very badly and very helpless. I actually felt pretty helpless myself. It’s at these times that I wish I had medical training—I was a vet assistant for a short time a few years back—but it didn’t really help me learn to deal with massive trauma. Not that much could have been done in this case. We all looked around a bit for another baby or the mom, but if they were there, they stayed well hidden. I hope they know we’re sorry, and we tried.

After I got home and cleaned up, and composed myself a little, the kids and I took a ton of stuff into the backyard to set up for sleeping under the stars and watching the meteor shower. We get quite a bit of suburban light bleed here, but I’m hoping we see a few later tonight. This is something I’ve been wanting to do with the kids for years. I have great memories of frequent sleep-outs in the back yard with my family every summer. And yes, I don’t have time to do this either, but I’m doing it anyway.