Reliable advice from a trusted source of calcium

Cupid

Don't get your sweetie a sappy gift just because everyone else on the planet is being sappy on the 14th. Get your sweetie a sappy gift because you want to give her something sappy. And why wait until the 14th? The 12th is just as good a day to let her know how you feel. Or if you really want to surprise her, try waiting until March 3rd. Poor Cupid is overworked as it is on Valentines Day.

That said, I should mention that there is a lot of contagious Hype out there, and judging by your panicked tone, she may have contracted a case. This Hype leads to expectations. Unmet expectations lead to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to... No wait... that's something else. Anyway, it's a dark path that is difficult to return from.

Just in case, keep something on hand from at least one of the main Romance Food Groups: Flowers, Sweets, Jewelry, or Communication (sappy card, singing telegram, etc.) Which one is really up to you. After all, you know her better than I do.

~Kevin

Dear Tick,

If you were rolling down an ocean on a jet ski and the wheel came off, would it take the same number of pancakes to cover a doghouse?

Diana

Dear Diana,

Since the ice cream is boneless, I'd have to say 'purple.'

I also have to say that your question sounds very familiar. Have you written in before?

~Kevin

Dear Cheese guy,

So you claim that that lady in the old footage is just pretending to use her cell phone to mess with us? What if I told you that with just a little bit of jiggrey pokery, you can easily get a cell phone to talk across time.

The Doctor

Dear "Doctor"

True enough. I've also seen that documentary about The Doctor (and I don't think he'd appreciate you using his name like this). At one point we do see him add a little device to a friend's phone to allow her to talk across time. This enabled the phone to use his time vehicle as an alternate antenna, which is what actually did the work of relaying the call across time. Not the phone itself.

It is possible that "Chaplin's Time Traveler" also has a powerful enough time vehicle to use this same trick... But the phone it question is an iPhone. A phone that you cannot simply crack open to poke around in without jiggering up the phone itself (or your warranty, contract, future upgrades, etc).

I still maintain my original answer. She's toying with us because she knows that it will frustrate people without access to a time machine of their own.