Does this term and the definitions Athol found suddenly make things in the Alpha/Beta balance click for you? If so, why does it do so now rather than the Roissy articles (if you read them) or does it do so more clearly for you?

It makes one part of the Alpha/Beta balance click. There is more to the balance than just passing Fitness Tests and/or Loyalty Tests, but these two things are pretty big.

I foresee Loyalty Tests happening in two situations. The first is the husband is already Alpha (natural or fully internalized) and as the marriage moves through the years the man’s SMP continues to rise while his wife’s naturally continues to fall (I posit that the closer she approaches the Wall and the further the Wall decreases her looks, the more Loyalty Tests she may lob. I also wonder if an 8, 9 or 10 in youth will be more prone to this the older she gets) This brings about a kind of natural Dread whether it is intentional on the husbands part or not. While I recognize Dread in a marriage as a good thing there is a delicate balance that must be used. If there is not enough she might not recognize his higher value. If there is too much, she is going to be scared, or even terrified, that he is getting bored/falling out of love with her. A natural component of Dread is knowing that the husband is not going to have difficulty finding another woman and likely a younger and hotter one to boot.

The second situation I foresee this happening in is while the husband is running MAP and as his masculinity increases along with his SMP she might get scared. Again, I think it comes back to Dread. This is the area where I think it would be difficult to tell the difference between a Fitness Test and a Loyalty Test. Some women will get angry with their husbands running the MAP while others will get scared/nervous and yet others will have a combination of both. If there is fear involved the more likely it will be that you are dealing with a Loyalty Test. If there is more anger, it’s more likely a Fitness Test (though this is not going to be the case in all situations).

The following are Leaps concerns:

1) Honestly, I have a knee jerk reaction against the term. The reason for it is because it smacks of the ‘build a better beta’ mentality.

2) I personally feel that most men have a grasp of what comfort building actions are. They know what beta traits are. For the most part, they likely have too many of them to begin with. This term does nothing for them besides open up possibility for confusion or comfort. Comfort in that they don’t need to re-invent themselves because, hey, all those shit tests are really just loyalty tests. They’ll do everything they can to avoid the very hard and painful process of seeing the truth in that their behaviors are dripping in beta, or they’ll stop short of the whole world of possible changes to their lives they could make.

The main thing with a Loyalty Test is that it will happen to men who are Alpha or who are well on their way to being Alpha. It’s not going to happen to men who are already overly beta. It will be safe to assume Fitness Test if you are well aware there is not enough Alpha in the man. In that sense, there is no “building a better Beta” involved in this as there will be no fear of the Beta leaving. In short, it’s an Alpha occurrence, not a Beta one.

The other thing to keep in mind, is that while passing a Loyalty Test will require building comfort, this can be done in an Alpha way. It will build comfort, but not so much from a place of betatude. For example, you know your wife is throwing you a Loyalty Test and needs some reassurance. One could look her straight in the eye with an intense look of pure love mingled with an ever so slight look of something bordering on pent up anger (I can’t think of a better way to describe it but pure anger is NOT it). And tell her exactly how much you love her, kiss her hard, stare into her eyes and then move on with whatever (or let it lead to where it may and show her in the bedroom with the same intensity just how much you love her). I think cocky funny would also be good. If you know she is worried about her looks reassure her with being grabby and when you *Ahem* rise to the occasion make sure she knows what brought that about. Rising to the occasion is a huge comfort builder in how much you still desire her. As they say “The boner doesn’t lie.”

Now, to add to the confusion, coming at this from a beta place might be necessary occasionally as well. My advice is, mix it up. This is not something that should be used often or she will think she has you back in the beta saddle. It’s to be used sparingly, so mix up the level of intensity and Alpha/Beta mix. You husbands will know better what your wife needs.

I also agree with Leaps advice here:

Remember men that we have to test this theory. Don’t believe it because it ‘feels nice or clicks.’ Believe it after it gets you results. If you’re interested, give it a chance, and report back to us. Treat it as you would any game theory that hasn’t been field tested for positive results.

Women are different on some levels. This is not something I think all wives would need, but I think it a fairly significant amount.

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5 thoughts on “More on Loyalty Testing”

Life with women has always been a delicate balance, but it seems that it is getting worse. Many of these symptoms if described to a professional would be deemed as some sort of personality disorder. Men’s hormonal and territorial issues are damped down by law, whereas a woman’s have been increasingly given free reign as being “Empowered” and “finding yourself” without any consequences.

Whether this is an issue caused by hormonal overloads due to almost continuous birth control since the 1960’s or a life of media saturation depicting impossible lifestyles I don’t know. What I do know is as a man it’s a hell of a lot of work for diminishing returns., all most men expects is for his wife to be faithful, have some self respect and love him as much as he does her. I don’t know about other men, but I find the idea of having to continually play psychiatrist to some one whose supposed to be a functioning adult repugnant.

Life with women has always been a delicate balance, but it seems that it is getting worse. Many of these symptoms if described to a professional would be deemed as some sort of personality disorder.

If they were things that were happening several times a day or even daily I would agree. A woman who tests with that kind of frequency needs some serious help and a man would be wise to stay away from a woman like that. I’m not trying to describe that. What I wanted to demonstrate is something that might occur from time to time even with women who are “faithful, have some self respect and love[s] him as much as he does her.” I absolutely do not think that this is something that should be dealt with “continually”. Rather, it’s something that should be quite rare.

all most men expects is for his wife to be faithful, have some self respect and love him as much as he does her.

I realize that is what most men expect and I would argue that most men should expect and demand so much more. Expectations are not the bane they are made out to be. Men deserve them and so do women.

That’s funny you mention. I was helping my wife evaluate a dress that she recently bought, with the usual fretting from her about how it makes her ass look. I noted the way the fabric draped well and accented the positive for an overall sexy effect, and punctuated that with “look, if you don’t believe me, believe Mister Happy here! He knows what he likes!”

Mister Happy can convince us nearly every time that our husbands still desire us. We want to hear the words, but sometimes it’s hard to believe that husbands don’t just say them to make us feel better. We know Mister Happy can’t lie just to spare our feelings. ;)