Trick or Treat: 10 Worst Halloween Candies, Ranked

Not all Halloween candy is created equal. Some people like sweet and chewy, while others prefer sour and crunchy. These 10 worst Halloween candies have inspired years of disappointment in children who just wanted to get their Kit-Kats and Starbursts, not to mention all those poor parents left with the rejected candy their children don’t want. Check out the full list below.

Number Ten: Smarties.

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Of all the evil Halloween candy, Smarties are the least offensive. What really puts them on this list is their power in numbers. Finding a few packets of Smarties in the bottom of your candy bag was never the worst, but the fact that hundreds of these worm-shaped packages seemed to materialize at the bottom of your bag out of nowhere was straight up bizarre. Leave us alone, Smarties.

Number Nine: Bazooka Gum.

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Otherwise known as rectangular pink rocks, Bazooka gum was the litmus test to see just how healthy your teeth were. Sure, you can chew Bazooka gum for a whole 30 seconds before it loses its taste and breaks your teeth, but those 30 seconds could be otherwise spent eating a Twix. Bye, Felicia.

Number Eight: Milk Duds.

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Chocolate and caramel sound good together in theory, but for whatever reason, Milk Duds are a complete and utter fail. Not only does it take a full five minutes just to eat one, but just imagine the work your stomach has to do to digest these puppies. And coming out the other end? Not pretty.

Number Seven: Good & Plenty.

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Good & Plenty candies are never good and always too plenty. First of all, disguising a grossly-flavored licorice candy in a pretty pink pill does not make it any less gross. Second, each of them tastes exactly the same. Who has the patience for an entire box of licorice?

Number Six: Welch’s Fruit Snacks.

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Fruit snacks are really just the poor man’s Starburst. Handed out by mothers pretending to be “healthy,” little did they know that these things are just pure sugar. Fruit snacks are OK for an afternoon snack, but as a Halloween candy? Absolutely not.

Number Five: Bit-O-Honey.

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Bit-O-Honey is right, because these candies have absolutely nothing to do with honey. It’s a wonder these have been around so long, because even the concept sounds gross: almond bits encased in a honey-flavored taffy? Nope.

Number Four: Tootsie Rolls.

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The Tootsie Roll holds a controversial spot on our list, because there are many avid supporters of this chewy chocolate candy. However, let’s be real: chewy and chocolatey are not two flavors that really work together – especially when a taffy-like consistency is involved. The only thing Tootsie Rolls are good for is making people think you’re missing a tooth.

Number Three: Dots.

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Yet another chewy fruit candy on our list, Dots take the number three spot. Not only are Dots impossible to eat, but their cloying sweetness will tear your mouth apart before you make it through a box. Not to mention that you can’t really swallow one without drinking a gallon of water, so good luck making it through an entire box in the first place.

Number Two: Necco Wafers.

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Let’s begin by listing the available flavors of Necco Wafer: orange, lemon, lime, clove, chocolate, cinnamon, licorice, and wintergreen. Maybe the citrus flavors are palatable, but clove? Wintergreen?! Necco Wafers might be fat free, but with flavors like that, they’re not worth a single calorie.

Number One: Raisins.

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At number one on our list of the 10 worst Halloween candies, we have raisins. Known by evil warlords and grandmothers the world over as “nature’s candy,” raisins are the worst. Not only do they resemble rodent turds, but they are a worse version of a fruit that actually isn’t so bad. The only place that raisins belong this Halloween is in the trash can.

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