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Ladies! Good news. There’s a new meme out there to help you find your man, or rather, find all the men out there who aren’t yours.

If someone isn’t texting you back, he’s obviously not your man. But if he’s doing a bunch of other weird shit too, like “turning saints into the seas,” “tutoring Alexander the Great,” or “making you feel ill,” there’s a perfect explanation: he’s not your man because he’s Mr. Brightside, or Aristotle, or even a hamburger from McDonald’s. Makes sense.

The “He’s not your man” meme that’s been making the rounds on Twitter begins with “Ladies, if he’s:” and lists few key traits from A Man — or in some cases, an object. After the mysterious list of characteristics, simply type “He’s not your man,” and reveal the subject’s true identity. Read more…