We are now well into the energy of Cancer, a water sign ruled by the moon. As such, this is a deeply personal time filled with strong emotions about the self, the inner life, and the space we call “home.” This is a deeply feminine time, and a time to go within first before attempting to connect with others. However, that may not be our first response to the emotions we experience…and this first response may result in results that are disappointing.

In working with a client this last week, we discussed the issue of hormonal shifts within people. Some people experience strong hormonal shifts, others not so much…or at least not that is easily evident on the outside. Both men and women experience these hormonal shifts, however, society tends to stigmatize this rhythm of life…particularly in regards to women and their bleeding cycles.

My client expressed frustration at the very familiar situation in which her boyfriend seemed to dismissed her emotional outburst as simply being the result of a hormonal flux. “He thinks that just because I don’t respond this way to the same situation at any other time in my cycle that it isn’t an issue…but it is. I just have more time to choose my response at other times.”

As I looked deeper into the situation and pattern that we all must work with, this is the message that came through:

Throughout a moon cycle, there are times when the head rules, when the head and heart rule together, and when the heart rules.

When the head rules, the heart is distant, and accessing, understanding, and expressing the emotional responses and feelings one has over various situations can be rather difficult. It is in these times that the head responds, resulting in a cooler, detached experience. For those who are intellectually and academically stimulated, this can be a wonderful time to connect with your friends, coworkers, and partners as well as conduct research, looking for patterns and trends. It is a very masculine time…dry and light, supporting more surface conversations, quick decisions, and hasty words. However, this particular connection will take some time to cultivate, requiring revisions, as the emotions will take their time to enter into the conversations. If you are unaware of your emotions and feelings around a particular situation, they may surprise you later when they surface…you may have thought the situation was resolved and complete until you can access the complexities of the heart’s involvement in the situation.

When the heart rules, the head is distant, and accessing, understanding, and expressing the linear responses can be rather difficult. It is in these times that the heart responds, resulting in a more passionate experience. It is a very feminine time…wet and dark, supporting deeper conversations, slower decisions, and longer considerations. However, this particular connection will require patience and compassion for if one can access words during this time, the words themselves may also be hasty…but they will be filled with deep emotions, resulting in a punch felt much more strongly than any other time in the human rhythm.

When interacting with a person on an intimate level, understanding these rhythms will help to create a space of acceptance and deeper connection. It is not that a woman responds unreasonably to something at one point in her cycle over another. Rather, when the head rules, it’s harder for her to access the complexities of her feelings about the situation until much later. This space of time ruled by the heart is a beautiful time and one to be celebrated by lovers. This impassioned expression is when the clearest truth, deepest vulnerability, and strongest connection is possible. The greatest capacity for integrity is available at this time.

Use it.

Learn to communicate in non-verbal ways during this time. Create art or music or food or any other expressive project as a means to express one’s self and create connection with your partner, for this form of connection will be based on the heart…a foundation on which all other connection and communication will hinge…resulting in ever deepening intimacy through the next cycle, even during the head-ruling time.

In my last post, I mentioned that the Universe/God/Goddess/Divinity blessed me with a father-figure after releasing my biological father from my life. One of the things I love most about my “new dad” is that we always talk about spiritual mysteries and he always teaches me new spiritual wisdom and insights.

During a conversation this weekend, we talked about this new energy that has been flooding the planet this year. We talked about our experiences with it and how it’s a wee bit slippery. As my “dad” put it, “It can’t be activated.”

What he meant is that the old energy supported a more masculine way of living…doing…action…chasing…forcing…activating…triggering. We both commented that we were very familiar with this energy and knew how to use it effectively to manifest what we wanted or needed. And yet, this new energy doesn’t support those old patterns and ways of doing things.

For example, in the old energy I never had a doubt that I could accomplish what I intended to accomplish…I simply had to keep at it until I achieved the goal. The old energy supported and rewarded persistence and perseverance. It also supported a strong will. If I exerted my will towards something, I always attracted that to me. It was easy…get clarity on what I wanted and then exerted focused energy on it until I got what I wanted.

Not so any more. We both laughed at our frustrations now because we’re experiencing similar things. Whenever we exert any effort toward our desires, everything shuts down. It’s as though someone has pulled the power cord out of the socket and the engines halt suddenly…like the regenerative brakes on a Prius…it’s sudden and abrupt. The more we push our agendas and force things to happen, the more blocks we create for ourselves.

As my “dad” says, it’s a subtle energy that is powered from some mysterious force yet unknown. It comes through each person to guide us in our flow but this flow all depends on our complete surrender to it. And this is where things get a little tricky, for I like to still pretend I’m in control…or that I should DO something, or pursue something, or make something happen, or force the issue. When I give up completely and surrender to this unknown force, suddenly everything starts moving in the ways I want it to go…almost magically, and with delightful surprises.

But there’s another piece to this energy…a piece that we both are still trying to figure out. That this energy is cumulative. It’s slow and gentle to start with…almost imperceptible. But then, the more you surrender to it, the faster it grows in speed and intensity until it can be quite overwhelming. So then we shut it down in order to catch our breath…waiting until we’re ready for the next manifestation, and then the cycle begins again…blocks, halting beginnings, massive speeding, then abruptly shutting down.

So, if you too are learning to flow in this new way of life, trust that you are not alone…even the experts are having to learn how to do things all over again with new tools and new rules. I’m still not certain where that point of balance is, but I suspect that it has to do with our self-awareness in each moment, actively participating in creating our existence, and taking responsibility for each tweak along the way…like an aperture in a camera or an embouchure adjustment for volume and pitch.

We’ll all figure it out eventually…just keep trusting in your flow…surrendering and tweaking as needed. Oh…and have fun! 🙂

Have you ever been in a supermarket and watched as a two-year-old has a complete melt-down because he/she was told no? What about seeing a teenager pout and stomp and slam doors for the same reason? Or someone at work or in your personal life didn’t get his/her way and made it very known the he/she was quite put out. Maybe you remember being that person struggling to accept someone’s no…or maybe you were the parent or person saying no. Either way, chances are that anger flared as boundaries were held.

Anger is a wonderful gift because it shows us where our boundaries are and when they have been violated. It’s similar to the sensation of pain on the skin when water is too hot or too cold…without the pain we wouldn’t know when to stop. Anger helps us know that something needs to stop or change.

One amazing process we are experiencing in this potent energy time is the process of releasing those things that no longer serve our greatest happiness. As we release these patterns and behaviors and thoughts and beliefs, we become aware of a new option…or many new options…where once there was only one. We become aware of ourselves in new ways and in new dimensions and we remember more of who we truly are. Every time that happens, our boundaries shift.

Of course, when our boundaries shift, all of our relationships are affected. If people have known us for a long time, they may suddenly feel as though they don’t know us at all. They may even wonder if they ever knew us we have changed so much. In truth, we may feel as though we don’t know who we are either, the changes can be so great.

So how do we learn about where these new boundaries are without losing ourselves to anger, pouting, temper tantrums, slamming doors, yelling, and many other more challenging responses? We start by loving ourselves from an ego-less, compassionate place.

This is not an over-night process…this is a several months or several years process depending on your level of self-awareness and self-honesty. So, be patient with yourself…all that exists within you has a purpose. Honor that and work with it, avoiding any comparison to anyone else.

When an ego-less, compassionate space is created by ourselves for ourselves, we enter into a beautiful, peace-filled, joy-filled tenderness. Gentleness abounds. Allowing and flow naturally occur. Knots loosen, rigidity lessens, relaxation increases. Connection to Source and our Higher Selves deepens and we become more aware of ourselves, our hearts, and our potentials.

As we spend more and more time in this ego-less, compassionate space of self-love, we create new habits and patterns of thinking and behaving. Our responses toward ourselves are less violent, remembering that we are beautiful, valuable, loveable beings, worthy of gentleness and tenderness in all things.

And then a beautiful thing happens…we feel a slight shift in comfort when a situation turns. It doesn’t have to be a huge shift…just a slight change in direction. It might be a conversation turns slightly, or an attitude adjusts one or two degrees, or a person’s body makes the tiniest of moves. These little, seemingly imperceptible adjustments now are noticeable because they aren’t in alignment with our sweet space of harmony and love that we have created for ourselves.

These moments are beautiful because we can take a moment to express incredible amounts of gratitude…gratitude for recognizing the shift that could lead to emotional reactions and triggers…gratitude for the growth and change in ourselves so that an old pattern no longer has to play out…gratitude for an opportunity to address the situation before the emotions engage…gratitude for seeing so clearly this new boundary that can now protect us from pain…gratitude for an opportunity to practice a new way of being and living in harmony and love with our soul…and best of all, gratitude for living in such a state of love that this sweet space is our new normal.

It’s raining right now. It’s not a heavy rain like I grew up with…no thunder or lightening or floods. Rather, it’s a heavy foggy rain…low clouds and mist that accumulates on anything with a pointy end for dripping. As I’ve cozied up with tea this weekend, the rain has reminded me of a very particular time in my past.

My family returned to live in the United States the summer between my high school graduation and the beginning of college. Because our return was a sudden event, it took a while to figure out where we would live and what our lives would be. We eventually settled in Northern California where my father was hired to teach at the college I attended. It was a small, liberal arts school quite a ways from any large city…which had its perks and drawbacks.

One of the drawbacks, while not directly related to its city access, was that there were definitive seasons. While I had been exposed to seasons during a few of our trips to visit family in the U.S., I had not enjoyed them. One of these trips happened during the Christmas season. Vienna, while stunning and breathtaking, easily earning a favorite spot with me, quickly revealed an unknown fear. I honestly felt that because the sun didn’t come up until after 8:00 am that the world was ending and I was dying along with it. Those long winter nights created such anxiety within me that I couldn’t breathe easily until I was back “home” to E. Africa and perpetual 12+ hours of light each day.

Living in Northern California brought all that anxiety back. These seasons, while not often included snow, involved a lot of fog and rain and drizzle…for months on end. I often felt by April that I was a walking lump of mold…never fully dried out or warm. And though I hated those winters, the summers always seemed to make up for it…which was fortunate, because one of my favorite perks was spending time in nature.

The school not only owns a substantial amount of land, but is also situated near a National Forest. Trails through the forest were abundant, and I loved to wander and explore them by myself in the summer. Even now, some of my fondest memories are of those experiences in the woods.

This particular memory took place during my senior year of college. This year proved to be rather stressful due to a heavy load of classes, a job, and a senior music recital to prepare for…all of which presented their own issues and challenges as the year progressed. Most significantly, a series of events resulted in changing flute teachers and all my music six weeks prior to my recital. This, in addition to a particularly dark and foggy winter, sent my body into shut-down mode…it refused to function properly, reducing digestion to only a few raw vegetables. I realized that I had to change something.

So, one Sunday morning, ready to crawl out of my skin and my brain unable to focus on anything, I found a pair of old boots, a rain poncho, gloves, and long underwear. I was tired of fighting against the damp gloominess that threatened to engulf me so I bundled up, ready to submit. Then, I set off into my favorite woods and my cherished paths…in the fog and the rain…for the next six weeks.

Each week I dreaded the hike. I hated being so cold and wet and I hated not seeing the sun. And yet, each week I always discovered some new treasure or some new development…a new bird’s nest…a spring creating a gorgeous lake…moss…wildflowers…deer…buds on the trees. The anticipation of this discovery kept me going. I loved how despite all the stress I was facing, the earth continued to live and change. It hadn’t given up hope for spring and was doing what it had been doing for thousands of years…the same cycle, the same routines. Somehow, amidst all my chaos, that was comforting and relaxing. My stresses, although very real, seemed a bit silly in comparison to this ancient cycle and these weekly hikes helped me gain some perspective about what was really important.

Those six weeks are still some of the most stressful weeks of my life. And yet, they also remain in my memory as some of the most alive, beautiful, and magical times of my existence. My schedule and responsibilities didn’t change at all. In fact they intensified as I got closer to my recital…so much so that the day after my recital felt like a rebirth to life. But, despite all the stress and overwhelm, I had learned to stop resisting it and find a way to enjoy it…every single bit and drop of rain. In doing so, the stresses became not only manageable, but, surprisingly, rather enjoyable as well.

So, if your life is anything like mine is right now, it too is filled with massive changes and stresses. I often find myself starting down the road of worry and anxiety around the uncertainty that accompanies change, creating a place of resistance to it…resulting in more fog and gloom and rain. And, this resistance is fine if that’s what you need to experience. I don’t though. I’m tired of it. I’ve been there. I know what that experience is all about. I’ve mastered that process. I’d really like to move on to something new and much more fun. So, I’m giving up. I’m giving in to the experience that is now and choosing to enjoy it…all of it…every single moment, every single breath, every single tear, every single giggle…every single drop of rain.

Have you ever felt the urge to do something or go somewhere or talk with someone, but, no matter how hard you tried, it just didn’t happen? What about if you knew this “thing” was supposed to happen, and you just. couldn’t. make. it. happen.? Or, you felt so compelled to do something or make a change that it completely consumed you to the point of eliminating awareness of everything and everyone else?

Sometimes this persistence is good…this obsession is necessary and vital for survival. Sometimes if you don’t have this kind of momentum you won’t get to the next place or the next step or get through IT. Sometimes this persistence has to be and it’s appropriate.

And sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it can cause imbalance, which can lead to disconnection…with others, and, most importantly, within yourself. It’s this kind of situation that today’s energy is addressing…the rushing to get it all done NOW.

As energetic beings we feel things…even if we’re not aware that we’re feeling things. We feel how another person is feeling, or we feel how an animal is feeling, or we feel how a society is feeling…we feel it all. We also feel our futures. This is how we know when something is right, when a relationship is ready, when a decision is right, when a direction is right, when there’s a sign confirming something. This is most particularly true when there just is no explanation for what we’re doing…we just have a conviction to do it, so we do. Oftentimes facing the uncertainty around such a conviction is incredibly challenging and requires immense amounts of courage and faith. Other times, the challenge is to wait in the face of certainty…waiting for the right time…the ripe time.

This is the energy that is building at the moment…and will continue to build through the solar eclipse on May 10th, releasing completely by the 14th. We’ve purged and released in Pisces, completed construction at the Equinox, added fire and energy to the transformation process through Aries, and now in Taurus the integration happens…the earth sign. All the work that has been taking place in the higher realms is being grounded into this dimension…into Gaia’s soil…into our bodies. And…it’s not finished. Yet, our souls are ready to take off and get. things. done. BAM! Our work is completed in the higher realms and we want to take our new lives out for a spin…try the new wheels out…push our boundaries and test our limits. We can feel the potential and our future, but we just. can’t. make. it. happen.!

W.T.H.?!

Two things: Body and timing.

First of all, remember the post about anger and fear? Remember how anger and fear were powerful movement generators in a thick and sludgy energy? Well…the 3rd dimension is a bit thick and sludgy and incredibly dense energy-wise. This is why we can’t walk through walls yet and have mass, displacing water. It’s dense here. And…that means that shifts happen much more slowly here than in the higher dimensions…particularly in the body.

So, take a moment and recognize that you as spirit are more evolved than your body, and your ability to shift faster is much greater than your body. Hold compassion for this dense pack of cells you’re sharing a life with on this planet, for it’s struggling to keep up with everything that is happening.

Secondly, recognize that everything that is happening right now is exactly the way it should be. Pushing for the future to happen faster only robs you of the opportunity to learn the lessons of this moment…which could lead to needing to repeat some stuff. Experience the joys of the now…be fully present and aware of all that this life has to offer. Recognize that even though you as soul can feel your future and that feeling will guide you to manifest it in this dimension, it’s not here yet. And that’s OK. So…we’ll do a little tweaking to help ease this pressure. Feel free to do this protocol as often as you need as we build to the 10th of May.

We invite the Sacred Masculine to create a safe and sacred space, using the appropriate sacred geometric shapes, mandalas, sounds, songs. We invite the Sacred Feminine to fill the space with unconditional love, support, nurturing, compassion, creation, courage, and power. We invite the Ascended Masters, Archangels, your Guides, you from the future as an Ascended Master to enter into this safe and sacred space. We invite in any other beings of love and light who wish to participate in this sacred healing.

We invite you to take a few deep breaths into your belly. We invite you on the inhale to pull all of your awareness out of the future and into this present breath of now. We invite you on the exhale to pull all of your awareness out of the past and into this present breath of now. We invite you to pull all of your energy and awareness out of all dimensions and lifetimes (where appropriate) and into your Divine Line…fully immersed in this present state of One-ness…the All…the Now. We invite your body deva and team to do the same.

We invite you, at the level of your Higher Self, to work with the energetic fields, the Time Lords, and the Guides to energetically locate all your timing mechanisms in all dimensions and lifetimes. We ask that you, as an ascended master, infuse the appropriate information into your new energetic grids to assist you in helping you find your direction and timing. We ask that all your timing mechanisms be returned, cleansed, cleared, updated and recalibrated for this present breath of now in alignment with the programming and potentials that exist in the new energetic grids. We invite your body deva and team to do the same.

We ask that all timing mechanisms and countdowns that don’t belong to you be gently lifted up and off you and your energetic fields. We ask that these be sent back to their right and perfect places along with all relevant and appropriate information. We ask for a deeper alignment with the pulse of Gaia…sending Her the appropriate information for our updated contracts, our soul’s desires, wisdom, and mastery. We ask that your body deva and team do the same.

We ask that the Guides and team model to us, for the next 10 days, how to stay present, in the now, in the flow…eyes open and aware of all the magic and miracles that exist in every breath.

We ask that all reference points are updated…all ways of being, perceiving, and being perceived. We ask that you are wrapped in sheets of rainbow light, gently sealing in these vibrations to whatever degree is appropriate to your spiritual evolutionary state. We are in deep gratitude to Divinity and the angelic realm for serving and assisting in every breath and in every way. We are in deep gratitude to you for all that you do, in all dimensions…seen and unseen…and for the courage that you carry in your heart to shift, grow, and evolve. For as you do, you shift humanity.

Notice that I’m not placing value on this habit…it is neither good nor bad to want. In fact, depending on the situation, wanting can be necessary to survival. However, if, like me, you have requested a life of abundance rather than merely surviving, this habit of wanting can be a tricky thing. It requires learning how to maintain a balance between requesting and letting go…aspiring to something and discovering unconditional happiness.

This concept of conditional happiness vs. unconditional happiness is a lesson I am learning at the moment. I am constantly surprised at all of the different people, events, circumstances, personal exchanges, and places that hold my happiness chips. Of course those chips didn’t just get there on my own…I put them there for whatever reason under a variety of circumstances.

The trick is to get them back to me, anchored into my Divine Line.

The challenge with this process is that I can give you a protocol for bringing your happiness chips back to yourself (and mine to myself), but unless the belief around happiness is addressed it won’t last. The belief? Some version of this: Someone or something else is responsible for my happiness.

I know I’ve heard all kinds of lectures about happiness and the keys to happiness and money doesn’t bring happiness and I am the only one responsible for my happiness, but it’s a very different thing when I’m faced with a challenging situation and I’m fully and completely triggered…upset…livid…hurt…betrayed…abandoned…bullied…accused unjustly…and the list goes on. It takes a lot of patience, practice, awareness, and self-compassion to take enough space in that intense moment to connect with my inner happiness…particularly if I really believe that this situation is in any way connected with my happiness.

When I do take a moment to connect to my inner wisdom, the first thing I’m asked is: What do you need? Because emotions have so many layers to them it may take me a while to figure out what my need is. Or, this may be a very familiar situation and I instantly know what my need is. I may need perfection or consideration or understanding or comfort or security or support or validation or connection or freedom. Once I figure out what the basic underlying need is, my inner wisdom tells me this: You are responsible for supplying that need for yourself. And this is the rub.

I really want the other to meet my need. It’s easier that way. It’s faster that way. I don’t have to work as hard that way.

Pulling all my energy off the want and back into my Divine Line can be one of the most difficult things I do that day…particularly if neither my body deva or my team want to do it either. Because a significant portion of my energetic reality is affected by these other consciousnesses, it really is important that we all work together on a shift…otherwise we’ll end up sabotaging each other.

So, in such challenging situations as these, I start with my team.

I ask that the Ascended Masters and Guides surround my team, modeling to them and teaching them how to hold their boundaries gracefully and bring their energies into their Divine Lines. Because they are all energetically also surrounding me, when my team shifts I automatically shift to match them. I am now supported in pulling my energy off of the wanting of a something or someone else to bring me happiness, and I can do this much more easily than I could without this shift. And, because the body deva’s Divine Line is connected to and parallel to mine, she too will shift to match whatever I’m modeling to her. Now all of our energies are within and in alignment with each other.

Then I ask that the Ascended Masters and Guides, still surrounding my team, show my team two things: how to connect with the unconditional happiness within, and how to meet the need within. And here’s a fascinating little twist…my team, made up of several different beings, each have their own needs in this situation. Some may have the same needs that I do, but some may not. So whatever needs they have in this situation must also be addressed separately from mine. And this is why it is such a great thing to have the support of the Ascended Masters and Guides…I don’t have to consciously know or teach anyone how to do it…because I’m the student too.

Once my team has shifted again to meet that need within themselves and connected with their inner unconditional happiness spot, it’s my turn. Their shift has again created a supportive space for me to more easily make this shift…even if I’m still struggling with the outward-focused belief.

The process begins by my inner wisdom asking me: How would you feel if this need was met in this situation? Depending on how triggered I am, finding this feeling might take a while. My energy may really struggle to stay within me. I’m so used to having it outside of myself and giving responsibility away that it just takes too much energy to keep it on myself for very long. I just keep trying. Eventually I’ll get it. When I do, I start feeling a thin thread of peace weaving through my emotional turmoil. I focus on that, encouraging it to grow. As it does, the turmoil lessens and my thoughts around the situation calm as well until all that I’m experiencing is this beautiful space of a need being met. The situation hasn’t changed at all…no one outside of me has done anything different, but my need is being met just as fully and completely as I was triggered moments ago.

Two things happen next: my body deva shifts to match me (adding to the blissful experience that is now coursing through my physical body), and I am now able to locate my unconditional happiness spot. I energetically plug into that spot, infusing that quality into my experience. Once again my body deva shifts to match me, and again we are all in alignment with ourselves and each other. In this moment of deep inner connection it doesn’t matter if someone is yelling or that my favorite dessert is sold out or that I didn’t get to talk with a friend today. My happiness is anchored within…allowing these situations to continue on without my involvement.

Then I express gratitude…for the assistance, love, and support from the Ascended Masters and Guides, for the support and love and shifting from my team, for the co-operation and connection with my body deva, and to myself for yet another opportunity to be aware, learn, evolve, and practice a skill. I ask that all reference points are updated…all ways of being, perceiving, and being perceived. I open my heart to receive love from Divinity, then I ask to be wrapped in sheets of rainbow light…gently sealing in these vibrations to whatever degree is appropriate to my spiritual evolutionary state. When all is complete, we bow to each other…for as we shift, we shift humanity.

With all the release and dredging up of old energies to be healed, there is a lot of muck flying about. Some of these memories are popping up in the oddest times and places and some of them are memories I don’t really want to revisit. Some of them were so traumatic that I haven’t been able to recall them…I thought they had been deleted or just not recorded. Not so. They are very much stored in my brain and now they are resurfacing for the first time since the event took place.

Add to this the uncertainty of all the new energetic construction that’s been taking place in the Higher Realms. The construction finished, the clean-up is complete, and now it’s time to integrate it into this dimension with our energy fields.

When things of this magnitude happen, it’s natural that fear and tears will arise. And while I know this in my mind, my emotions are having a little bit harder of a time staying centered and balanced. The memories are so intense and overwhelming that it’s hard to not engage with them. The energetic downloads are so fast and powerful at times that it’s all I can do to keep breathing.

So, the first thing I want to do is shut down…turn off all my feelings and avoid interacting with people. From a psychological perspective, this isn’t necessarily a bad idea. Taking a break and conserving one’s energy is a basic survival instinct and one that has served humanity well for many many years. But there is a side-effect. And that is that I’m hopping all over time-wise.

I find myself reminiscing about the past like it’s some glorious time in history…and we all know that can’t possibly be true. Then I find myself obsessing about the future…worried that some potential outcome might not be so great and that the past might repeat itself (obviously not everything in the past was glorious). I start swinging back and forth so strongly between the past and the future that I get dizzy and frenetic and freak out…taking quite a bit of time to realize that I’m skipping the now…the present…the one place in linear time that I can actually do something about it all.

But, if I come to the present, then I have to confront all the emotions that are coming up, and it is really threatening…and ominous…and intimidating…and I just don’t have the energy to deal with it all and figure it all out.

So don’t.

What?

Don’t try to deal with it or figure it all out.

Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Isn’t that what “the work” is all about…facing my fears and dealing with all the buried crap?

Yup. And it’s done. You’ve dealt with it.

I have??! When?!

More like where…in a higher dimension, where it’s easier and less traumatic for you.

Really? I can do that?

Yup. It’s actually the preferred method of healing and shifting, doing the work in a higher dimension. This dimension is just a reflection after all…a holographic existence. Change the original, and the projection will change as well. It doesn’t work so well the other way.

So then, what do I do?

Nothing. Allow. Surrender. Release.

I’m scared I’ll drown in it all…that it’s too much…that I’ll lose my way because I have no idea where I’m supposed to go. See! I’m freaking out again.

Let go. I’m guiding you and supporting you. You won’t drown. The more you allow and surrender, the more buoyant you’ll become. I’m right here with you every single second. Now breathe.

Breathe?

Yes. Deeply…and slowly. Pay attention to all the sensations in and around your body. Good! Now you’re coming back into your body. Did you realize you had left it?

No.

Now reconnect with your Divine Line and your heart center. Did you realize you shut it all down?

No. I feel like I’m rebooting.

You are! You’re reconnecting with yourself and your Source. Now just observe. Stay in this moment. You came here to this planet for this specific time…to experience this magnificent transformation. Did you know there’s a waiting list for souls to be on the planet right now?

No. Really? They want to experience this chaos?

Yes, exactly! For the chaos is as a result of something new being built, and souls want to be a part of it. YOU wanted to be a part of it. This is why you’re here now. So don’t miss a moment of it by putting your attention in the past or in the future. Stay present. Experience every breath with attention and awareness, for this is why you are here. And, if this is why you are here, you can be sure that all of the Universe is conspiring to support you through it…preparing synchronicities and miracles on your behalf. Stay present. Be watchful. Stay connected with yourself…and with us. You are not alone.

Yesterday, I left the house because I absolutely couldn’t stay inside and hide from the world any longer…I had to go to the bank. I knew that walking to the bank and back again would take all the energy and breath I had for the entire day, but the sun was out and the sky was blue, and I needed to soak up energy from somewhere, so I walked.

As I walked, I knew I was floating…surrealy disconnected from everyone and everything around me. I almost felt like a ghost myself, my rhythm being so slow compared to everyone else. Even others’ words were muffled…as though I was hearing them from underneath feet of water.

When I got to the bank, I walked straight up to the teller window, the teller being my favorite at the bank. She took one look at me and knew something had changed in my life and sincerely asked me what had happened. I was barely able to whisper a response to which she squeezed my hand and told me that her dog had transitioned three weeks before. I looked up at her for the first time, tears streaming down my face and, oddly enough, we both smiled.

“The first week is the hardest,” she said. “It doesn’t consume you forever, you know…it just feels like it will. Just breathe through it.”

I filled out the deposit slip and handed it to her. She looked down at it and then back at me. She pointed to the date I had written on the slip and asked, “Is this the day he died?” I suddenly realized that the moment Macavity’s heart had stopped, time stood still for me. Everything that has happened since then has been in a place of suspension…a time out of time…almost a parallel existence. I nodded and pulled the paper back to me to correct the date. As I did, I noticed that my internal clock slowly started to move…although it was moving according to a different time than before.

When all my business was complete, I walked home. As I walked under a tree, I stepped on its roots. I was shocked to feel a surge of energy shoot up through my feet and out through the top of my head. I turned to look at the tree and for a split second, I saw its soul. I said thank you and continued walking. As I walked, I looked at another tree, and again, for a split second, I saw its soul. Then suddenly, everything around me revealed their souls to me…all the trees, the plants, the flowers, the bushes, the cars, the buildings, the park benches…everything. In that moment, I became profoundly aware of the depth of life that exists on this planet…the vitality and movement and love that is constantly surrounding me. I became aware in a deeper way that I truly am never alone.

As I walked home, simultaneously experiencing a blissful state receiving life and love as well as a crushing heart of grief, I felt the pulse of the planet…Gaia’s heartbeat. A deep and primal throb…a different drummer than one I’ve ever previously experienced…the source of life itself. This was the time that was now surging through my body…the pulse that my internal clock was now calibrated to. This was the point of all existence…the point at which all creation and destruction, transformation and healing occurs…that edge on which we die only to be resurrected in a new form with new eyes and deeper perceptions.

This is the place I invite you to visit…this place of all that is. It requires a complete disconnect from all that you know, think, and organize your life with. It requires a deep and centered grounding within yourself…a mind that is shut off, and a heart that is raw and open and vulnerable. It requires honesty so pure and true that the brutality takes your breath away. It requires a complete surrender of self…of ego…of all that you know, love, and dream. In this place of complete nakedness, resting in the flow of life itself, you will feel this throb…this pulse…the source of life…the source of healing…the source of love. Calibrate your inner clock to this source. This is how to live in Divine Timing…that existence where your heart becomes one with Divinity…that dynamic where your desires meld with that of Source…that place where miracles happen as you move together in a unified cosmic dance with all of life…this is the life of co-creation.

If you are anything like me, you can get so involved in the mundane aspects of your life…of just getting through each day…that you forget the amazingness of life…the wonder…the awe…the magic that surrounds us at any given moment. This is why I love to work with kids. They are constantly discovering something amazing in this world that I have forgotten is amazing. They remind me of what it’s like to go through life with eyes wide with wonder, drinking in all that it has to offer. I appreciate these reminders, for they help me remember similar moments in my childhood.

As a child of missionary parents, I had many opportunities for amazing moments. By the time I was 18, I had lived in five countries on three continents, and traveled through more. All of my friends lived this way too, so I had no idea that I wasn’t normal. I do remember, though, that while on furlough I met many kids in the United States who had no idea what it was like to wonder…to be in awe of something…to be so overwhelmed by an experience that all you could do was feel. I thought that was sad, and was at a loss as to how to explain to them what my life was like.

I remember flying to Malawi and staring out the window…wondering how, exactly, I could be in the air when even feathers fell to Earth. I remember wondering, upon landing in Malawi, how there could be a place for the plane to land, and yet all around that place were worn footpaths in the red dirt because people walked instead of driving cars. I remember being taken to a retreat house on Lake Malawi with several other missionary families as soon as we cleared customs…not yet having seen my new house, and wondered at how other people thought that was ok. I remember being in awe that there was no electricity in the retreat house, and yet there was a refrigerator that worked all the time. I remember going to the bath house and finding a scorpion in the bathtub and wondering how it got there and if it would have died if I hadn’t killed it. I also wondered why it was ok for me to kill the scorpion, but it wasn’t ok for the scorpion to kill me. I remember hearing the morning wake-up call of the hippos in the lake below the retreat house and feeling the prickly feeling in the back of my neck. I remember sleeping out in the massive, screened veranda and knowing that all that was between me and elephants, leopards, hippos, crocodiles, snakes, and water buffalo was a thin mesh of screen. I remember watching the Fish Eagle dive into the lake, swooping back up without missing a beat, a fish in its talons. I remember catching my first Blue Swallowtail butterfly and staring at the luminescent, tiny blue feathers on the wings…wondering how something so fragile and delicate could exist in such a harsh environment. I remember the wonder at the ingenious creations the Malawians made from straw and wire…and wondered if I would ever be creative enough to imagine such a thing much less make it. I remember using a washing machine for the first time and being amazed at the brilliance of holes in the wash tub to drain the water…and even more amazement at the physics application of centrifugal force. I can’t tell you how many days I spent swinging a bucket full of water around my head…entranced by this law. I remember my first prism and the gasp of surprise I felt to discover a myriad of rainbows in my room. I remember holding my very first kitten…and my very first puppy…and feeling the joy and love they shared with me by purring or licking my face and snuggling up to me. I remember the race of adrenaline as I rode on the roof-rack of a friend’s car through a game park…dodging potholes that would swallow a car and plowing through muddy puddles with no clue of their depth. I remember the exhilarating feeling of racing schoolmates down the steep hill on my bike each morning…trying to be the first one to touch the school door. I remember the sensation of joy and freedom as I raced the person who was “it” to the tree home base when we played Hide and Seek. I remember the giggles that always came as the rain pelted the tin roof so loudly that no one could hear anything else. I remember the colors in the fire in the fireplace…the crack and snap of the wood…the spit-burst of flames as I sprayed the naartjie skin into the fire, and I wondered what made those things happen. I remember lying with a friend in a driveway as we looked through binoculars at Halley’s Comet…wondering how something so huge and violent was so far away from me and yet so visible. I remember going on furlough for the first time and feeling the stunned sensation of watching multiple lanes of traffic through the 12th floor hotel room window. I remember the gloriousness of the Christmas Market in Vienna, and the indescribable burst of flavor as I bit into the handmade chocolate from across the street. I remember seeing the Alps for the first time, and the meadows filled with wildflowers and discovering tears as I tried to absorb the beauty. I remember my first live classical concert and how I was mesmerized with such an odd collection of funny looking pieces of wood and metal…and how they could produce such amazing sounds. I remember the joy of returning to Malawi and being greeted by my best friends…knowing I was home.

But most of all, I remember that moment when I stood in my hallway, tingling from head to toe in full awareness of my existence…of saying, in a choked up voice to no one in particular, “I’m really here…I’m really alive here…It really happened.”

I invite you today to find that place within yourself…that space of awe and wonder in the world around you…to discover the miracles that occur in every single breath life breathes. And most of all, I invite you to remember…you’re really here…you’re really alive here…it really happened.

The eighth step in opening the heart is to bring all other emotions under the regulation of the open heart space.

For so many years, we have been accustomed to letting our emotions rule our lives. When we experience anger, everything in our lives is filtered through that anger lens. The same is for infatuation, passion, fear, joy, contentment, and any other emotion one experiences. Our lives are then one massive roller-coaster ride as we rise and fall with our emotions, as though we have no control over experiencing them.

This is particularly true when we are triggered by something or someone. It could be the tiniest thing, like the way someone chews his/her food, but it will send us off into the crazy and illogical roller-coaster ride of reaction. And soon, we are so far down this path that we have absolutely no idea what we’re really reacting to because we have now created an allergic reaction to accompany any triggered reaction…meaning, all triggers go off when one goes off. There is a logic to this process, but it cannot be discovered by the mind…only the emotions…and only by tempering these reactions by the ruling emotion of unconditional love from an open heart.

Experiencing all the emotions is why we are here on this planet. Gaia is a water planet, with a satellite moon, which is also a water energy. Water and emotions are synonymous, energetically, so it is impossible to expect that we can experience a human life and not have to deal with emotions. So, the first step is to recognize that all emotions are necessary and useful and important. None are “good” or “bad,” they simply are a form of energy to be used in whatever way serves our greatest happiness best.

The messages around these emotions, however, are quite confusing and they are probably all tangled up with each other. As you spiritually evolve, the emotions will want to untangle because the old ways no longer serve your greatest happiness. When this happens, start by listening to the emotion that is ready to shift and discover the wisdom it has to share with you. Retrieve that wisdom you have spent lifetimes acquiring, dissolve karmic patterns, and then reorient that emotion to the ruling emotion of unconditional love.

This will take conscious practice over many months or years or your lifetime. It’s similar to learning a skill in music or in a sport…the more you practice, the better you will become. Gradually, as the emotions become ruled by unconditional love, you will experience a pause…a breath of space between the trigger and your reaction. In that space, you will see options. No longer are you a slave to a pre-programmed reaction and the inevitable responses with which you are so familiar. Now you can choose which path to take in your response to the trigger. You can explore other options and discover a more productive one that yields even greater happiness than before.

Eventually, as all emotions are ruled by the heart space and unconditional love, you will experience a world that is quite different from the one you once knew…simply because your perceptions have changed. And, as your perceptions change, your options then change which leads to new solutions to old situations. As you do this work, modeling it to others as you move through your life, others will shift to match you…without you even knowing it consciously…until there are enough people who see new options and new solutions to create a new world…a new consciousness…and new society…all ruled by unconditional love.