FTFA: In bright pink lettering, the email reminds us that "Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist." Perhaps adding "Jail Bait" didn't have much of a ring to it.

Has it really become fashionable to hire someone to come and steal your presents? Didn't that used to be the job of your drunken cousin's sketchy boyfriend who just turned up, drank the free bar dry and when you looked round all the crystal glass sets and silver fish servers were gone?

Maybe it's all a plan, sell off the stuff in the lockup to free up space then get paid in presents - "any two from the top row, and three from the front" and then avoid tax.