Sookie short stories

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

These days you can-t swing an undead lycanthrope without hitting a Minion of Evil. They-re everywhere-TV, film, the basement-right behind you! It-s never been more important to know what you can do to keep them at bay. Garlic? silver bullets? holy water? torch-wielding mob?
From today-s foremost experts on nightmares-come-to-life, this indispensible guide identifies and describes mankind-s enemies-supernatural beasts, ghosts, vampires, serial killers, etc.-and unearths effective time-proven responses to each horrific threat.

Separate fact from fiction, the deadly from the merely creepy.

Learn when to stand your ground and when to run screaming for your life.

Determine which monster-specific heroes to call and their likelihood of success.

Consider your own potential as a Champion for Good, Conqueror of the Damned.

Whether we-re talking ancient vampire hunters or modern-day FBI profilers, it-s good to know someone-s got your back in the eternal struggle between Good and Evil. And this book, with over fifty illustrations, as well as commentary from luminaries like filmmaker John Carpenter, author Peter Straub, and the legendary Stan Lee, provides all the information and reassurance you need to sleep soundly at night. Just not too soundly.

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One of the things we love most about True Blood is its commitment to being outrageous, over-the-top, and frankly insane. (We also appreciate the frequent nudity.) And while the show has thrown a few touching, sensual love scenes our way, it's also shown us a wealth of sex acts best left on the screen. These are eight sex scenes you shouldn't try at home.

Prime-time good guys save the day, but a memorable villain makes it impossible to look away from the on-screen action.
Good thing there’s no shortage of bad guys ready to commit creative acts of cruelty. Well, at least there won’t be until Sunday night. That’s when “True Blood” ends its latest round of jaw-dropping vampire violence in a highly-anticipated and no doubt bloody season finale.
Still, whether on the air, on hiatus or long gone, TV’s assortment of vilest villains won’t be forgotten.

When viewers last left Russell Edgington, otherwise known as the blood-sucking King of Mississippi, he appeared destined to die (again), but in the days before his moment in the sunlight, Russell brought a level vengeance-fueled iniquity rarely seen in a made-for-TV bad guy.
The small screen may be filled with all manner of killers, but Russell stands out even among his vampire kin. Before a recent bout of rage propelled him into super-villain territory, the 3000-year-old had no interest in playing nice with humans. They are, after all, food as far as he’s concerned.
But once a fellow vamp killed Russell’s consort of the last several hundred years, the regent turned into the sort of must-see mad monster that carries the remains of his lost love around in a crystal compote and rips open news anchors on live TV.

Ryan Kwanten, 33, (who will be seen in the True Blood finale on HBO Sept. 12 at 9 P.M.) shares the 25 things you don't know about him with UsMagazine.com.1. My mum beat breast cancer. Everyone, in some way, has been touched by cancer. Please help any way you can.2. I find it hard to trust anyone who doesn't like animals.3. My favorite yoga pose is Scorpion.4. Best advice: a day at a time.5. Worst advice: 1) Turn here, I know a shortcut. 2) Just touch it.6. A woman's body is the most exquisite gift. A woman's mind is a mystery.PHOTOS: Women Who Celebrate Their Shape 7. I've broken many a bone, including every knuckle on my right hand.8. I believe what Muhammad Ali said: "Champions...have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill."9. I could only hope to be half the man my dad is.10. I avoid pompous people and microwaves.

Joe Manganiello — the hunky werewolf Alcide of “True Blood” — is coming to town.
Manganiello will be a guest Nov. 5-7 at the second EyeCon “True Blood” convention. He joins the previously announced participants Sam Trammell, who plays Sam Merlotte, and Kristin Bauer, who is Pam.
The convention will be at the Florida Hotel and Conference Center, 1500 Sand Lake Rd. There are more details at eyeconfla.com.
“True Blood” finishes another season at 9 p.m. Sunday on HBO, and Manganiello has been a welcome addition. Look for EyeCon attendance to jump, thanks to him.Joe M

This Sunday marks the third season finale of HBO's mega-hit "True Blood" and ET has three exclusive clips that inspire questions like: Will Sam reveal his true self to Tara? And, is Hoyt's mother staging a vamp-tervention?
In the first clip, Sookie (Anna Paquin) is seen running through the dark in a white gown, stopping before a mysterious chandelier that emits an unearthly glow. She gazes into the light until Bill (Stephen Moyer) wakes her from what seems like a dream state.
In the second clip, Sam (Sam Trammell) makes breakfast for Tara (Rutina Wesley), telling her, "There's a reason why I bark in my sleep." Will he reveal his shape-shifting ways to Tara?

And in the third clip, Hoyt (Jim Parrack) arrives for work, only to find his mother, his ex-girlfriend and his high school guidance counselor waiting for him. Are they staging an intervention to get him away from vampire Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll)?
Watch the clips above for more, and catch "True Blood"'s explosive season finale this Sunday on HBO.

Not since that episode of Ramsay's Kitchen Tantrums filmed in a balti house has there been a show as spicy as it. The latest cult American television series to wash up on our shores, True Blood is a gothic romp featuring a cast of sweaty, over-sexed vampires and more gratuitous nudity than you can shake a crucifix at.
Now, after 18 months under the radar, it looks set to “do a Mad Men” and go virulently mainstream. Trust us, a few months from now you won't be able to escape it. Just last week, the series, which chronicles a forbidden love affair between a psychic waitress and a husky vampire named Bill, received the ultimate endorsement: a front cover on Rolling Stone.

Despite the actual details of the season three finale of "True Blood" being predictably under lock and key, and the actors knowing not to reveal much of anything, we were able to get a few finale goods from the cast at last week’s HBO Emmy's party. Specifically via the words of actor Kevin Alejandro, who revealed his character Jesus has some big moments in the Sep. 12 closer.
"You actually find out what kind of person I am," he said of his character, Jesus. "It's good stuff." read on

True Blood took a break last week for Labor Day weekend—vampires, they're just like us!—but this Sunday the ultimate “nighttime soap” is back for its third season finale.

The penultimate episode left Eric, our rogue vampire sheriff, and Russell, the murderous Vampire King of Mississippi, in the sunlight, ready to go up in flames. We asked Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam, everyone's favorite vampire dominatrix, to give us a taste of what's to come.

Her answer was both tantalizing and torturous—just the way Pam likes it: "If you want to see if my maker dies, if Pam dies, if Bill dies, if Pam or Eric or Bill kill Sookie, exactly how we do or don't die, or if the King dies or kills us all, then the finale is for you."

For extra pleasure (or torture?) she adds, "Oh, and also we are given a little hint—actually not so little—of what we'll be dealing with next season."

Regarding True Blood: Why are the vampires' fangs are on their laterals and not their cuspids? I work for a dentist, but we can't figure out why they did this. I always thought vampire fangs were on their cuspids. Hope you can help me because it's driving me crazy.
—Amanda, via the inbox

Indeed, as Sookie might say, that mystery has driven many a folk crazier than a run-over coonhound. In other words, you're not the only fan whipsawed into a state of insanity by True Blood's anatomical whims. Why, for the love of Godric, why? Well, here you go...

First of all, you should know that vampires have a long history of arbitrary fang placement. True. Yes. It goes back at least as far as the 1922 classic Nosferatu, whose main monster looked like a carnivorous mole rat thanks to a pair of fangs where his two front incisors should have been.

Fast forward a few decades, and you have the neo-classic The Lost Boys, in which Kiefer Sutherland and others sported pointy lateral incisors, just like the vamps on True Blood.