Become a Fan

December 12, 2008

The Go Everywhere Man

Behold the GO EVERYWHERE man -- 1970s dude extraordinaire. It makes me happy to realize that in the 1970s Simplicity felt that even an international criminal/super spy might need a pattern for an efficient, flexible wardrobe that allows him to blend in anywhere. I bring you Simplicity 7943:

70s BUSINESS DUDE is our hero's main disguise, as signaled by the large pattern illustration. The 'stache is tamed. He's walking calmly. But note how his left hand creeps toward his pocket...our first clue that he might be more than he seems. He's ready to grab a weapon (I'm betting a ninja star) in an instant if the situation warrants.

CASUAL DUDE (bottom row, center) is business dude's natural counterpart. Striped polo shirt, hands in pockets, one leg crossed. The look screams casual, but check out those eyes. He knows every exit in any room he's in. He's alert to any sign that he's gotta go...he'll whip out one of his three passports and don his next outfit, which is...

BERMUDA BUSINESS DUDE (top row, left). Swap out the pants for plaid shorts and don some sunglasses and long socks, and our international superspy is ready to attend to business in the tropics. A few dozen bank accounts in the Caicos are required, after all, when your other persona is...

JAMES BOND SEDUCER DUDE (top row, right) is an easy persona to adopt with the right stylistic changes. Add a turtleneck. Put a wave in that hair and a smoldering look in your eyes. The Continental has nothing on you now. Finally, we have...

GOLFING DUDE (bottom row, right). Sadly, Simplicity really dropped the ball on this one -- any astute observer would see right through our hero's disguise. Who wears a thick ski sweater with Bermuda shorts to golf? (Only someone with bars of gold bullion or ammunition rounds strapped to their chest, that's who.) And either our guy has cankles, or he's chosen to hide his bankroll in his socks.

Comments

The Go Everywhere Man

Behold the GO EVERYWHERE man -- 1970s dude extraordinaire. It makes me happy to realize that in the 1970s Simplicity felt that even an international criminal/super spy might need a pattern for an efficient, flexible wardrobe that allows him to blend in anywhere. I bring you Simplicity 7943:

70s BUSINESS DUDE is our hero's main disguise, as signaled by the large pattern illustration. The 'stache is tamed. He's walking calmly. But note how his left hand creeps toward his pocket...our first clue that he might be more than he seems. He's ready to grab a weapon (I'm betting a ninja star) in an instant if the situation warrants.

CASUAL DUDE (bottom row, center) is business dude's natural counterpart. Striped polo shirt, hands in pockets, one leg crossed. The look screams casual, but check out those eyes. He knows every exit in any room he's in. He's alert to any sign that he's gotta go...he'll whip out one of his three passports and don his next outfit, which is...

BERMUDA BUSINESS DUDE (top row, left). Swap out the pants for plaid shorts and don some sunglasses and long socks, and our international superspy is ready to attend to business in the tropics. A few dozen bank accounts in the Caicos are required, after all, when your other persona is...

JAMES BOND SEDUCER DUDE (top row, right) is an easy persona to adopt with the right stylistic changes. Add a turtleneck. Put a wave in that hair and a smoldering look in your eyes. The Continental has nothing on you now. Finally, we have...

GOLFING DUDE (bottom row, right). Sadly, Simplicity really dropped the ball on this one -- any astute observer would see right through our hero's disguise. Who wears a thick ski sweater with Bermuda shorts to golf? (Only someone with bars of gold bullion or ammunition rounds strapped to their chest, that's who.) And either our guy has cankles, or he's chosen to hide his bankroll in his socks.