THEATER REVIEW;A Long-Lost Bit of Fluff by Cole Porter

THEATER buffs get a kick out of making wish lists of lost musicals, ripe for revival. But not "You Never Know."

To see the show at the Paper Mill Playhouse is to know why a justly disregarded Cole Porter fiasco of 1938 is unlikely to survive the enlightened scrutiny -- even the escapist fantasies -- of modern sensibilities.

Call it a pastiche, if you must. Or a divertissement, or whatever fey euphemism passes for rarefied vacuous frippery. The six-character musical, a witless paean to infidelity among the terminally rich and the incurably snooty, is now credited with two adapters (Rowland Leigh and Paul Lazarus), having had just one (Mr. Leigh) for an Off Broadway revival that eked out one week's performances in 1973.

Unendowed with a scintillating Porter score, "You Never Know" flaunts only the marvelous "At Long Last Love" and the toujours gai "From Alpha to Omega." The boundless laundry-list refrains of the latter epitomize Porter's most playful snobbishness:

For musical sustenance, there's the sort of vital padding from other Porter shows -- more padding, please -- that turn revivals of second-rate material into arbitrary grab bags of composers' hits. (Witness Gershwin's "Crazy for You.")

More than a dozen songs originally written for "You Never Know" are not heard in this version and it's a long wait (until Act II) for the better ones from other sources: "Ridin' High" and "Let's Misbehave." None are sung with flair approaching the distinctive or rivaling the definitive.

Given no sense of climax, Act II is only a technicality. There is no practical provision for an intermission, but the director, Charles Repole, calls for one anyhow. The house lights suddenly go on to denote the end of Act I, much to the astonishment of the audience.

An error has occurred. Please try again later.

You are already subscribed to this email.

The duplicities of "You Never Know" (taken from a German play of the 1920's, "By Candlelight") demand a stylized elan, having nothing whatever to do with a reality-based contemporary plot.

Mr. Repole's antic staging, recalling the director's enlivening "Very Good Eddie," "Whoopee" and "Animal Crackers," is one man's desperate force-feeding of farcical maneuvers to budge a who-cares story about Gaston, a servant posing as a rakish baron, and a parlormaid, Maria (really Mimi), pretending to be her "lady of society," Madame Baltin. They prattle on about boxes at the opera, "very special rendezvous" and wine cellars, all the while dropping lots of enchantes, bonsoirs and certainements.

Michael O'Steen as Gaston obliges with double takes, back flips, falling over and bumping into people and furniture, wrongheaded ploys of a trapped song-and-dance man trying all agile means to get out of the wrong show.

Among a sextet of charmless performances, KT Sullivan replays Lorelei Lee, and Nancy Hess strikes the hauteur of a patronizing blueblood. Gregg Barnes's cheesy costumes include gold lame jackets and assorted tawdry ensembles for a time that supposedly defined elegance. Michael Anania's setting is spiffier by far, although an out-of-period piano and a makeshift look detract from such on-the-money Deco details as a velvet chaise longue, gilt-edged chairs, and candelabra and draperies against stained glass.

FOR all that, the Paper Mill's standard-issue stars behind the scrim pop out just before the final curtain, at long last, falls.

By then, the Baron and Madame Baltin, two of musical comedy's most off-putting would-be lovers, have raised their Champagne glasses and sent their servants off to their proper substations. To condone such archaic, elitist theater, it is important to get a grip on a hovering doomsday: the Deco penthouse is at the Ritz in Paris, 1929. Otherwise, quel dud.

Through Feb. 4. Performances: Wednesday and Friday at 8 P.M.; Thursday at 2 and 8 P.M.; Saturday and Sunday at 3 and 8 P.M. (201) 376-4343.

We are continually improving the quality of our text archives. Please send feedback, error reports,
and suggestions to archive_feedback@nytimes.com.

A version of this review appears in print on January 14, 1996, on Page NJ13 of the National edition with the headline: THEATER REVIEW;A Long-Lost Bit of Fluff by Cole Porter. Order Reprints|Today's Paper|Subscribe