Monthly Archives: October 2013

Coffee shops seem to be my mecca for relaxation and self-reflection. They offer me refuge from the chaos of work and life in general. People seem to be more relaxed and inviting. Perhaps it’s the fresh aroma of coffee beans and herbal teas that permeate the air or the oven freshness of the gourmet pastries? I’m not sure, but I can say that my thinking is at its best when I embrace the comfort of the lush leather chairs and drink my hot tea. What’s really great is that I don’t try and control anything while here, I just let things happen. And this is likely the most profound insight I’ve discovered.

I can’t help but think about all those people I know, who do the right thing and set goals and dreams for themselves to aspire to. But, upon second glance, they seem to be overly busy on too many things and involved in too many details so as to have absolute control on a precise outcome. I’m very strong on goal setting, as it’s a cornerstone to bringing one fulfillment; however, it’s also important to remain flexible in the attainment of the goal itself, otherwise you’ll find yourself simply going through the motions.

A recent trip by a colleague triggered my fascination with this over exuberance to perfection and control. He had planned a 2-week trip to Paris for one year, noting every place he was going to visit, the times when he was going to visit, and what he was going to buy. It was really quite impressive just how well managed and controlled his experience was going to be.

When he returned, I asked him how he enjoyed the experience. “Wonderful,” he said. “However, next time, I’ll to plan to see some other sites and sounds, as I didn’t have time to do these things.”

How often have you ever heard someone say something like this?

I’m not sure if he liked my candor, but my response was quite spontaneous, “Actually, you had all the time in the world, it’s just that you became so fixated on the details in your planning that you prevented yourself from actually ‘experiencing’ your trip.”

That’s just it, he became so rigid in his planning that he didn’t even change it to experience everything that he was experiencing or wanted to experience. Flexibility in the attainment of our dreams is the key piece that allows us to not only reach them, but to experience them in ways we never imagined. So, as you execute your plans, ensure that they remain flexible. It’s this flexibility that lets you experience the joys of life. So stop planning so much and take the time to experience life as life happens.

The other day I had the typical office encounter, the one whereby you want to let your inner voice shout out loudly how much you’re not impressed or amused with the stupid behavior you face every day from the same people. Yet, you forcefully restrain yourself because you have to eat the next day and don’t want to taint your future in the organization. Their demands grind on you and you find yourself running from one task to the next, never fully completing one, and never getting recognition for all the hard work you undertake. You’ve become Pavlov’s dog, jumping at each request without even blinking because that’s the way it is. Besides allowing the stress to build and hatred to fumigate there are other options.

Science has a funny way of creeping up on you and providing some real sense of usefulness. This was certainly one of those occasions. I certainly realized that I was just like one of Pavlov’s dogs salivating at the first ring of the bell. Darn, it occurred to me that I was conditioned in the workplace to simply react with compliance. It was a sad realization, but one I was determined to change.

This was Ivan Petrovich Pavlov, a Russian physiologist who in the 1890s, who reminded me of the notion of conditioning through his research on the digestive system of dogs and the study of what signals triggered the secretion of saliva. Quite simply he conditioned the dogs to produce saliva by the ringing of a bell just prior to giving them food. What this did was to condition the dogs to produce saliva solely upon the sound of the bell. This was referred to as a conditioned reflex.

So, here I was being conditioned like the dogs, but then if I was being conditioned, I could certainly condition those around me to follow a new learned behavior, one that I’ve created.

How could I make this practical? Some thoughts were that I would lean more on controlled access to me using email and the telephone. I would limit my physical interaction and condition people to contact me at certain times during the day.

People will begin to be conditioned so that when they call they’ll receive a response by email or when they email they’ll receive a response at predefined times during the day. Part of the conditioning process is to be consistent in your response to maintain the conditioned behavior. This is a mighty powerful tool, one that they’ve been using on you all along, as they conditioned you to immediately respond to them. What you’re doing is breaking your conditioned response and redirecting the conditioning back to them. Most often, they won’t even realize what you’ve done, since they’re only acting in a conditioned way.

The second simple act you need to do is to manage your time. You need to book time for yourself to either think or to simply do tasks. In your electronic calendar, “book” time for these activities so they appear as “busy” when someone tries to arrange a meeting. This will control and eliminate interruptions while you’re trying to complete tasks. These simple conditioning techniques can be used in all sorts of ways; the important thing is to find what’s right for you.

Are you conditioned for success?

Feel free to share your answer in the comments.

Other Time Trading Gurus

Time

Jana presents How To Create More Time posted at Wisdom Ink, saying, “Time is something that is always available to us but that many of us forget to ‘tap’ into. Creating time is as easy as aligning yourself to the belief and perspective that you always have more than enough, and here we show you how to do it. Many are surprised that they can take on more work and responsibilities and still have more than enough time for themselves.”

Flexibility

Kaitlyn Johnson presents 6 Strategies for Becoming a Morning Person posted at Newborn Care, saying, “You’ve heard it before, even to the point of it becoming annoying. It’s something bears repeating though, because it’s got a lot of wisdom: “The early bird catches the worm.””

Money

John Schmoll presents Why So Many People Fail at Becoming Debt Free posted at Frugal Rules, saying, “If you’ve ever been in debt you know how difficult it can be to climb your way out of it. That success is generally tied back to having a plan and vision to become free of it – which is something many people miss out on and thus why they fail at ridding themselves of the debt.”

The Author

Robert Renaud is one of the newest thought-provoking writers on living life more fully. His book The Time Trading Guru shows how to instantly reach dreams using the DREAM process and leveraging the levers of life: time, flexibility, and money. Here, he writes about a blueprint to escape the workplace, take 'life breaks,' and start living again.

Robert Renaud live interview on DayTime Ottawa show. you can watch it here.

The Time Trading Guru

The Time Trading Guru gives you a blueprint to living life more fully. Use the DREAM process and the levers of life: time, flexibility, and money to escape the workplace, take 'life breaks,' and become personally fulfilled.