The Aware Show featured a call with Joe Vitale (one of the speakers on movie The Secret) about the Hawaiian tool of transformation Ho’oponopono.

Joe Vitale learned this powerful tool from Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len who had learned it from Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona.

Dr. Len worked as the staff psychologist at a mental hospital for the criminally insane.

The patients were mentally ill, heavily sedated or shackled criminals. The staff turn over was very high.

Dr. Len only started work there under the condition that he could use his own method, which didn’t include therapy with the patient. Dr. Len was aware that whatever challenge we are presented with is a reflection of something that is unresolved within.

He used Ho’oponopono. Which is repeating the following four sentences:

“I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”

After using these sentences for only a two months the patients were improving.

All the patients were released after four years.

The Book ‘Zero Limits The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More’ written by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD explains Ho’oponopono much more in detail.

Dr. Len sees the most important relationship the relationship between conscious (the mother) and the subconscious (the child)

Last week I finished another 8 week Resolve Course lead by 2 Counselors (who had to have at least 400 client sessions before training for this course) .

For the last session we had to stand in front of the group and share our Hero Story, which is about where we come from and how the course has brought healing to our life.

My Hero Story includes a letter of re-assurance to my little girl.

~~~~

This is my story:

Inside of me is a little girl that has lived with the fear of being abandoned, being given away to strangers, not knowing what will happen next. She had four sets of foster parents, with her parents in between, until her parents had a stable home when she was seven years old.

Her parents looked after her physically, but she was criticized lots with no balance of praise or affection. She got severely beaten for being late, for swearing once and for failing the final math test at 18.

Her fears easily get triggered, she has lived in anxiety all her life, tried her best to be a good girl, but never felt she was good enough.

She now has me, the adult Yorinda, who is learning to be a mummy and daddy for her and allow her to express her feelings and reassure her and give her what she needs.

I am glad that I could bring here to this group.

Last Thursday morning I processed – again – something that happened in May this year and it brought up the unfairness with which she was treated. Writing about it helped my little girl to express her feelings, especially feeling too scared, to stand up for herself, not having the right to be heard.

I like to share what I wrote to acknowledge her feelings and to reassure her.

This is my letter to my little girl:

You should have been treated better. They had no right to treat you like that, to oppress you. It was wrong, horrible.

They broke you, like a horse, they broke your spirit – not your spirit, nobody can break that, but the part of you that was you, the precious unique expression.

They through mud on your diamond, they didn’t allow you to shine.

You have such a precious light, such a unique expression and it deserves to be seen. All parts of you are welcome here.

It was a lie that only the ‘good’ parts of you are lovable and that you deserved a beating for being late, swearing once and failing the math test.

You deserve to be loved, you deserve to express yourself, all of you. You have a right to be here and to be loved even when you make mistakes.

You deserve praise, well done, ooohs and aaahs for your efforts even though they don’t hit the mark of what society expects.

All of your efforts deserve to be acknowledged.

You have a right to express, voice your side of the story, to be heard, to be taken into consideration.

You have a right to ask for your story to be heard, your perspective to be seen, your feelings to be expressed.

You have a right to stand up for yourself and express what you think, believe in and what you feel.

You have a right to set boundaries, to say no, to question, to bring things out in the open.

You have a right to be treated fairly, to have your share, to ask for what you want.

You deserve to stand up and be counted.

You are a unique expression of the divine and you deserve to be here.

You are welcome.

You are a treasure, a gift.

Your unique expression is a valuable contribution to humanity.

I will do my very best to make sure that you will be safe and protected and I will take a stand for you when needed, stand by you, hold your hand and make sure that you are fairly treated when possible.

~~~~

The Resolve Course/Group has given me a place to be heard, to express myself/my feelings, to have a voice, and to feel welcomed and accepted when I do so.

The Validation of my losses has had a profound effect on my ability to feel my feelings.

According to Transactional Analysis(TA) we have an adult, child and critical/loving parent.

Debbie Ford in the books The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Shadow Effect writes about the different parts of ourselves and how to embrace and accept them all.

In the last few weeks I have become aware of my feelings of social ‘inaptness’.

My tendency is towards being a recluse, choosing solitude over social-get-together.

A friend invited me to her birthday party. She knows me, so she probably didn’t really expected me to turn up.

On the morning of her party I did some writing about my reluctance to go and I allowed the part of me that was anxious and uncomfortable to really express itself and gave myself permission not to go.

After finishing my conversation with myself on paper, I thought that I would not go. To my surprise a little while later I found myself thinking about preparing for the trip to her place. I actually did feel like going. And I did and had a good time.

Had I listened to my impatient self only and ‘pushed’ myself to go, I would have taken all that anxiety and uncomfortable feeling with me and I am sure it would have affected the whole experience and those around me. I know, because I did it in the past.

My Impatient Self has a valuable contribution to make.

My impatient self:

Knows what I am capable off and want me to get on with it

Is solution orientated and sees what could be possible

Wants the best for me

Remembers everything I have learned that can be helpful to move on

It knows:

That I am not my scared, ashamed little girl

That I am an adult now

That I am a spiritual being connected to infinite wisdom love and energy

That my apparent limitations are just my present perception

That I can change my perception

it knows that it is possible to move:

Out of suffering

Past the struggle

To better times

To feeling achievement

To do better

I am grateful to have my impatient self and do welcome its contribution.

I also have learned, that to constructively, effectively and efficiently move forward, I need to ‘hear’, accept, embrace and include all parts of me, otherwise there will be an undercurrent of unsettledness, disgruntledness, worry and anxiety, which will make moving feel like moving through mud. I may move, but not as easily and fast as I could.

So, if I take the time and really listen to and take all parts into consideration, until they feel settled, then that time spent will pay off, when I am ready to move, with the ease of movement, the speed and effectiveness and even enjoyment.

In meetings with people, where decisions are to be made that involves everyone, like families, it is also important, that everyone is heard and their concerns are taken into considerations.

In this busy lifestyle of modern civilisation a lot of people don’t seem to find the time to take time out for their well being and to restore positivity. We are always doing the best we can at any given time. We don’t get up in the morning and say “I am going to be deliberately lazy today and sabotage myself.”

If we are feeling a lack of energy it is usually a sign that we need to take care of ourselves and re-align. Even if it means doing nothing.

Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of “Eat, Pray and Love” found out about the ‘art of doing nothing’ from Italians. Apparently they practice that art on a daily basis (i.e. go home for lunch and make love).

We all need time out to recharge our batteries and not just at night when we are sleeping.

How many people allow themselves to have that time out?

There is the ‘too busy’, ‘got to get things done’, etc. Attitude, which keeps most of us slugging away at it.

Why? Because we are afraid that if we don’t, things will fall apart. A lot of times it is the people who fall apart, they get sick, have accidents, divorces, heart attacks etc.

Trusting the process is usually not something we learn at school.

Yet, if we would trust the process and listen to our bodies, our energy levels and take the time out at the first inkling, our even better on a daily basis, we would function so much better.

Even if it is only 10 to 15 minutes.It is all unfolding perfectly.

Try it now with this very relaxing video taking you into nature(by jankovarik). Best watched on Full screen (click on the bottom right hand corner)

I like Wellness Days. I used to let my kids stay home for Wellness days, rather than have them home sick. Amy Wong wrote an post on Wellness days

Here is a quote I got in my email: “Some things you’re not letting happen right now because the timing isn’t perfect for you. Some you’re not letting happen because you are very aware of where you are. But all things, as they are happening, are happening in perfect order. And if you will relax and begin saying, “Everything in its perfect time. Everything is unfolding. And I’m enjoying where I am now, in relationship to where I’m going. Content where I am, and eager for more,” that is the perfect vibrational stance. “Abraham-Hicks

It is all unfolding perfectly.

What is your way of taking time out? How do you look after your well being? What do you do to restore your positivity?

What does Unconditional Love mean to You?

Unconditional = No conditions = accepting what is in the now completely?

Do we accept ourselves like that? I mean really accept ourselves ‘warts and all’?

Can we accept others like that if we don’t accept ourselves first?

Have you ever ‘watched’ your thoughts ( we have how many thousands a day?) and noticed how many of those were accepting thoughts of, well let’s start with yourself?

When I ‘listen’ to myself think I notice so many times thoughts which are a version of:

Could have

Didn’t

Don’t know if I can

Would like to, but

Shouldn’t have

Should have

Why did I

Why didn’t I

How stupid

………

……..etc.,etc.etc.

Instead I would like to think thoughts like

That was good

I liked it when

I did my best

I believe I can

I am learning from this

I am doing well

…..

…..

…..

So, it is no wonder if I am ready to judge, criticize, scold and blame myself that I would do the same to other people either out loud or in my thoughts.

I thought I was doing really well not saying these ‘not so nice things’ to other people, and yes, I was, because in the past I was very critical and opinionated and felt that I had to let everyone know.

Then I came across the vibrational aspect of our human inter-action and I realized that people will pick up on my thought consciously or subconsciously.

The next step for me was to be more conscious of what is going on in ‘my head’ and to deliberately choose my thoughts more and more of the time.