Monday, August 27, 2012

After 8 years of wearing my hair in locs, i cut it. it wasn't a spare of the moment thing, i've been planning it for months. when i first locked my hair, i said 5 years or til i turn 40. well, i'll be 40 in a few months and i went well past the 5 years. so, why cut it? i felt like it was time. i wasn't enjoying my hair as much as i use to and i knew i wanted a new look as i approached 40. now i am rocking a TWA....teeny weeny afro and i love it!!! ok, that's a lie, i like it....i think.

i didn't realize it, but for 8 years, i've been hiding behind my hair. only when i walk past a mirror is when i remember that its gone. yes, my head feels lighter, but mentally, i still have my locs. i feel exposed and extremely fat. my face is front and center and i'm not really comfortable with that. so, do i still think cutting my hair was the right thing to do? ABSOLUTELY!!! why? being exposed helps you face the truth. remorse (usually) doesn't set it until 24-36 hours after you do something and it slapped me hard in the face the next morning. i was searching in my closet for the BIGGEST shirt i could find to cover up. I. FELT. NAKED.

as you can see from the date (8/7) this entry has been sitting for a few weeks...today is 8/27. i am feeling much more comfortable with my hair, but still adjusting. i was walking down the hall at work today and turned the corner real quick and was waiting to feel my hair land on my back! i had to laugh at myself, so use to swinging it around. LOL. do i still feel exposed? yes, but again, exposure brings forth truth.

if you are loosing weight, cutting your hair, changing jobs, whatever; expect to go through a grieving process. i know it may sound silly about getting a haircut, but we become attached to things and once they are gone, it can be tough. of course, cutting your hair is nothing in comparison to losing someone you love. i wasn't expecting to feel that at all! this experience has truly been an eye opener.