This is a
One-Shot, inspired by a PostSecret I came across on the respective
website.

The Only Man I
Have Ever Loved...Was A Guest At My Wedding

The young woman in the
mirror looked, for lack of a better word, beautiful. Just as radiant
and gorgeous as every bride looks, or hopes to look, on her wedding
day. Except for her eyes, misery-filled eyes that no bride should
ever have.

White flowers and pearl
jewels were entwined in her glossy, chestnut brown curls. She wasn't
skinny as a model but the white wedding gown
softly draped over her body showed off her well-endowed figure. A
small amount of makeup adorned her face; enhancing her pretty
features.

She reached up to clip
the second pearl earring into place and the diamond on her engagement
ring gleamed in the sunlight filtering into the room from the windows
on her left. The radiance made her look straight into her reflection
in the full length mirror before her; brown eyes gazed into
identical, unhappy ones in the mirror image.

The bride-to-be was me.

And I was a mess,
minutes before the big event.

I looked down onto the
dresser top and picked up the last item I needed before I was done
getting ready. As I reached up to fasten the pearl necklace around my
neck, I felt warm hands settle over mine.

His voice was soft.
'Here, let me do it.'

I hadn't heard him
come in. But even as my eyes met his green ones in the mirror, I
recognized his touch, his voice. He bent his head and brushed my
curls away to clasp the necklace in place.

I shivered at his
proximity. He stood mere inches behind me in the otherwise empty
room.

He looked at me with
concern evident in his incredible eyes. 'Are you cold?'

I choked the words out.
'You lost that right months ago. And if I recall correctly, you
willingly gave it up.'

With that, I swept up
my bristling skirts and rushed out of the room as fast as my feet
could carry me, towards the waiting area where my father stood, ready
for the ensuing ceremony.

Chris followed me out
minutes later, but I was past caring.

For all I said I didn't
care, my eyes still trailed his body ...as he sent me an apologetic
smile, which our family and friends pretended not to see, his gaze
still lingering on me as I pretended he wasn't there, finally
turning around and swiftly striding through the double-doors, both of
us pretending we weren't the least affected by the occasion.

I placed my hand on my
father's arm and we waited wordlessly for my bridesmaids and their
respective escorts to enter the doors into the place where my destiny
would be sealed.

Those few minutes
seemed to last an eternity. I was still nursing a grudge against my
father and I feared if I spoke now, it would only increase the
growing hostility between us. It was his fault for initiating the
idea of an arranged marriage between his business partner's heir
and me. The fact that I loved somebody else wasn't an obstacle in
his eyes. Of course, I also blamed Chris for not putting up any
opposition to the idea. It hurt that he just let me go like that. I
had protested but everyone involved turned a deaf ear.

My 'betrothed' had
no clue about my emotions because even though I didn't want to
marry him, Zach was a nice guy and I didn't want to hurt him, even
my family and Chris had hurt me beyond repair. Some would say
he was perfect and he might have been, but he wasn't perfect for
me. He had moved back from England only a few months ago, where he
had been heading the family business for five years, ever since he
turned 21.

There was nothing wrong
with him though; he was handsome, wealthy beyond imagination, kind,
generous, and charming ...overall, blessed with a great personality.
Who knows, if I had met Zach before Chris, things might have been
different. But he had been residing abroad ever since he had chosen
to go to University there, with not-so-frequent trips back home in
between, so there hadn't been the slightest chance of that.

I think deep down, I
was at fault too. For letting my parents control every aspect of my
life, from what they considered were appropriate manners, appropriate
clothes, appropriate behavior, appropriate friends, even the
appropriate career...and lastly, the appropriate man to spend the
rest of my life with.

If it wasn't for the
fact that I was basically a puppet in their hands, maybe I would have
confessed the whole deal to Zach. Surely, he would not have agreed if
he'd known. But I hadn't and here I was...getting married to a
man I'd only known for six months, a man who had declared he had
fallen in love with me in that short period while I still pined after
someone I could now never have.

My father tugged on my
hand and the movement shook me out of my thoughts. The time was here,
the time was now...

As if in a haze, I
followed as he led me towards the door. A sea of grandly dressed
people and dozens of lighted candles and flowers greeted me. All the
images swirled into one blurry canvas and I had trouble focusing.
Then I looked away from the obscure figures and straight ahead.

Zachary stood waiting
with a reassuring smile on his handsome face.

I drew in a shaky
breath and smiled back at him, resolutely not looking at the man
standing beside him, a pained expression on his face. With my eyes
trained on his warm hazel ones and fortified by his silent
encouragement, I reached him at the altar. His hand reached out to
grasp mine, as my father left to sit down after giving me a
perfunctory kiss on the cheek, and he drew me closer.

If possible, his smile
widened even more before we both ended our little conversation and
turned towards the waiting priest ahead.

The ceremony began and
ended without a hitch. When the priest uttered the dramatic words 'If
anyone objects to this wedding, speak now or forever hold your
peace', the customary pause followed and my gaze wandered towards
Chris. I guess there was a tiny part inside me that refused to
believe in the finality of this whole situation and still hoped
someone would stop my wedding. Chris just stood there on Zach's
right and stared at the priest; he didn't even move a muscle, let
alone voice a protest.

That was the final
straw.

Long ago, I had naively
planned to just run away if worse came to worse. But when the moment
had actually presented itself, I knew I couldn't. I couldn't
possibly leave sweet, caring Zachary at the altar. I wasn't that
cruel to do that to someone who loved me and wasn't afraid of
showing it.

I just had to accept
the facts and hope to have a happy future with him.

Our love wouldn't be
as tumultuous and epic as the love Chris and I'd shared. No,
instead it would be a slow-burning, steady love that would build up
over the years. It wouldn't be the heady magic of fairytales; it
would be the firm foundation fairytale castles relied on.

And so we both uttered
our vows, the words that would bind us to each other for the rest of
our lives.

I hadn't seen it even
once, since the wedding nearly a decade ago. I distinctly remembered
shoving it into a random cardboard box somewhere when we had moved
into this new house recently. Somehow my children had gotten their
hands on it.

Emma chirped happily.
'It's about your and daddy's wedding day!'

I ran a hand through my
hair absent mindedly and sighed, suddenly very tired. 'Yes,
darling. I know.'

'Can we see it?'
Emma asked.

'Yeah, can we?'
Ethan piped up.

How could I say no to
those two angelic faces?

'S-Sure.'

Minutes later, all
three of us were ensconced on the comfortable couch in front of the
large flat screen television in the living room. The television began
playing the scenes of the wedding and the twins exclaimed when they
recognized someone or made me explain who each person was. Soon
enough the actual ceremony was being shown and I fought to keep my
emotions in check.

The camera zoomed in on
each of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the maid of honor and the best
man being shown last.

'Who's that?'
Ethan asked, pointing at the elegantly clad best man.

'He looks like
daddy,' Emma mused.

'He- He's your
dad's younger brother, your Uncle C-Chris.'

'Isn't Uncle John
daddy's brother?'

I patiently answered.
'Yes, he is. But Chris is your Uncle too.'

'Oh.'

We all turned towards
the television once more. The vows had elapsed by then and after a
few more minutes of footage of Zach and me meeting with guests and
well-wishers, the setting changed to the reception and banquet held
later that day.

This time it was Ethan
who broke the calming silence.' How come we've never met Uncle
Chris?'

I thought back to the
years gone by. After our honeymoon, Zach and I had moved to England,
as the branch of family business he was CEO of was located in London.
And we had been living here ever since, often visiting relatives and
friends back home in America during the holidays every year. Of all
those visits, I had only come across Chris a small number of times.
He purposely avoided me at all costs, though he found time to catch
up with Zach when I was away meeting old friends.

'You have met him,
only you were too small back then to remember. Usually he's busy
when we visit. Tell you what, I'll make sure you get to see him
when we go this year, all right?'

Both voiced their
approval and cuddled closer to me. I pulled a blanket lying around
onto us so it covered everyone, as we once again became engrossed in
the video.

The dancing had started
off on the screen, with Zach leading me onto the floor first. The
camera zoomed in on our faces; Zach's was joyous while I looked...
content.

Then other couples
drifted onto the dance floor once our song ended. Zach was shown
dancing with my mother, then his mother, his sister, my best friend
while I danced with his father and brothers. For some inexplicable
reason, I didn't look as distressed on the video as I'd felt when
Chris asked me to dance.

I was lost in my own
little world of recollections when the sound of gravel crunching
beneath tires in the driveway alerted the twins.

'Daddy's home!'

And they both jumped
off the couch, throwing the blanket to the carpeted floor in the
process as they ran to greet their father.

I stayed to watch as
Zach and I were shown simultaneously dancing, though not with each
other; I was moving stiffly in Chris's arms while Zach joked around
with one of my cousins. I kept staring at Chris and I on the screen,
wondering what could have been.

Zach was an excellent
husband to me and a great father to our children. But that didn't
stop the yearning watching the wedding again had rekindled, despite
all those years that had passed away since then.

I just kept on staring
at myself and the only man I'd ever loved dancing, as if
dumbstruck. He steered us away from the other couples, so our images
receded on the screen but were still visible. Visible enough to show
him tighten his grip on me, then bending over to softly say, 'Just
know that I'll always love you, Meg. Just remember that, baby
...You're beautiful. But it's time to face the truth; I'll
never be with you.'

The last words were a
mockery of the song I'd once upon a time proclaimed to be our song,
back when we had been together. It was a hurtful reminder and at the
same time, a final goodbye.

Chris was shown
relaxing his hold on me, then letting go entirely and leaving me
standing with a dazed look on my face on the sidelines before the
song ended. I had watched him walk away...

I had watched the only
man I'd truly loved walk out of my life.

I heard Zach laughing
nearby somewhere as he playfully teased the twins but I could only
sit there mutely as a few tears spilled from my wet eyes, watching
myself on the screen and thinking, 'The only man I have ever
loved was a guest at my wedding.'

A/N:

If you liked it,
please review! It would really mean a lot to me...

A few lines from
James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful' were used in this, belong to
the songwriter...the rest of the story is mine though it was inspired
by a PostSecret as mentioned before, which doesn't belong to me
either.

---

EDITED 14th March '06-

This lil ficlet has
been edited, not just because a few reviewers mentioned grammer
problems and such, but also since I'm a perfectionist and bits of
it seemed a bit iffy to me. And I wrote most of it while revising
Physics for midterms, which is an excuse in itself :P

Anywho, some minor
changes here and there and major ones in the beginning, which
(hopefully) isn't as boring as it was before and all that
changing/long overdue proofreading has brought the Word Count down to
exactly 2400 words :)

God, I do ramble
pointlessly a LOT. So I'll shuddup up...

But before I do, I want
to thank all those lovely people who reviewed D I've never had so
many reviews for one chapter. YOU ALL ROCK!

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.