My Dayz in a Maze

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I did it!

I completed my first, of hopefully MANY, big projects today. Although I am really good at criticizing myself (…everyone is), I am going to make a point not to this time. I am just glad I saw this project through from start to finish. I did my research, I put in my hours, I gave it my full attention, put my whole heart in it, and I delivered as best I could. Sure, I made some mistakes, but it was my first time! That is inevitable! And besides, there will always be mistakes, room for improvement, and lessons learned. I have already learned from those mistakes and now I know for next time. So for me, I am happy with my results, and I am proud of myself for following through despite the fear and nerves that flowed incessantly through me in its duration.

I truly apologize for being so vague. I’m sure you are all wondering what it is that I accomplished, what it is I am so proud of that I should be blogging about it. I swear I want to tell you and I will as soon as I get permission!

But what I can tell you right now is that regardless of anything else happening in my life, all the stresses and disappointments and challenges, this project has made me feel more accomplished than I have ever felt in my existence. It feels like a sort of breakthrough, and although I feel great about it, it also makes me feel like that was NOTHING and I need to start the next one right away! It’s a weird yet nice sensation, although though it may sound negative, because it feels like progress and still the thirst for more! After seeming like I’ve been in a stand-still holding myself back for so long, I can now say I’ve walked up one step. Maybe even just a half-step, but a step of some sort moving in the upward direction nonetheless.

I’ve not only realized this, but now have started to take action on it: You are going to have to be really bad at something first if you ever want a chance to become really good at it later.

It’s actually relieving because knowing that and applying it in-the-works almost gives me the OK to “suck” at something just as long as I am putting in the effort. It gives me the reassurance that just as long as I try, I will get an outcome and that outcome will turn out better each time. 10 years from now I will be a professional. So if you think about it, wouldn’t you rather “suck” at it now than in 10 years?

I will end this here tonight as I am just short of becoming redundant. I can’t wait to share this awesome-ness in detail with you all soon!