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The decision to quit smoking has to come from a place deep inside yourself. It can't be manufactured or conjured up in response to expectations of loved ones who care for your health. This is the difficult part. One cannot give up smoking because you like to please and it will make other people happy.

This is an almost guaranteed recipe for frustration, disillusionment and failure.

I say almost because nothing is absolute. The French coined a
phrase: with the eating comes the appetite. Some isolated attempts to
quit out of consideration for others may just produce a hidden desire
to do it for yourself but it works better when the decision is made and
it comes from you.

This provides a problem. You can't quit until you really want to. If
more people realized that you can't make someone do what you want them
to just because its good for them there might be a considerable
reduction in unnecessary tension.

Here is how a famous eastern teacher of meditation suggested a student
who had chain smoked for 30 years should give up. First he advised him
to let go of the sense of failure that dogged him as he repeatedly
tried and failed to quit smoking. Not only that, he advised him to give
up the desire to stop smoking.

Psychologists would recognize the reverse psychology he was using. What
he suggested is that this student continue to smoke, but to do so
meditatively. This means he had to slow every element of the act of
smoking down to a point where he could 'lovingly' attend to every
detail of the act. He wanted the man to SEE. He didn't say "I want you
to lovingly attend to the act of smoking because it is bad for you and
you need to quit. Right now".

What he did was remove all pressure to quit. In its place he wanted
simple attention. The act of smoking needed to be slowed down to the
pace of prayer and then simply observed. His parting words to the
student were that he would either love the practice or he may decide to
drop smoking altogether.

The eastern spiritual tradition places less emphasis on "shoulds"
maintaining that if true seeing happens so will right action. Well
there's no prize for guessing what the student ended up doing: he gave
up. And it was easy because when he paid attention, when he really
looked he could suddenly see, and when he saw it was obvious. There was
nothing to love in the practice.

I used this method on my lovely young daughter who I desperately wanted
to stop smoking. I knew it was bad for her, she felt she knew it was
bad for her but she couldn't give up. I followed pretty much the same
steps telling her-without pressure - just to pay attention, to really
look at the act of smoking and if she still wanted to smoke, well, that
would have to be okay with me. It was her decision after all.

I didn't push it and it took a couple of weeks. She was a teenager and
she wasn't going to rush off and do as mom says immediately. At a
certain point she didn't so much quit. The effect of paying attention
paid off, she simply lost interest. This was a highly beneficial
experience for her because, unlike traditional attempts to quit
smoking, she did not feel herself pitted against an enemy.

By the simple act of seeing the whole addiction lost its charge. It
just didn't have a hold anymore. It makes you think how much power we
unconsciously give to that which we oppose. She walked away from the
experience feeling that smoking had no hold over her and neither did
any other potentially addictive substances.

Now, for some, this may seem too easy to be effective or too informal a
method. For those smokers there are more traditional methods of giving
up tobacco. All successful attempts to quit smoking must begin with a
genuine decision and the desire to act on it.

The fortunate thing at this time is that so many aspects of society are
rooting for you as you attempt to tackle your demons. A simple search
online will provide several game plans for quitting.

Like all substance addictions a support network is essential.
Statistics show that attempts to quit are twice as successful when they
are enacted within a supportive environment. If you are planning to
quit smoking the traditional way make sure you ask for help and take
advantage of the free telephone support networks that exist in at least
30 states.

I want to stop smokingReply to this Comment
I have been smoking for 15 years and I am only 30 years now fifteen years is a long time, I am scared that I am going to die of cancer, but I an so addicted. I want to stop so bad what can I do?

Maria`s postReply to this Comment
Naria, no one can TELL you how to stop. It has to come from you. Your furniture, carpets walls etc all smell of smoke. You don`t notice it but others do. And your clothes too... Good luck.

By:MaryPosted: Jan 18 2006 07:39:24 PM
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only 13Reply to this Comment
i am only 13 years old and i am addicted to smokin i dont kno wat to do.my friends are tryin to help me but it doesnt work

By:cindiPosted: Jan 30 2006 06:23:01 PM
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I NEED HELPReply to this Comment
HELLO MY PROBLEM IS THAT I DON'T GET HUNGRY AT ALL.ALL I DO IS DRINK COFFEE AND SMOKE.

HelpReply to this Comment
I have been smoking for 8 years now and my husband wants me to quit. I know I can do it but for some reason I don't. What do I do?

By:BrittneyPosted: Jul 09 2006 05:46:15 PM
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I'm only 13 alsoReply to this Comment
Hi Cindi, my name is Kim. I have been smoking for about one year. I need help to so maybe we can help eachother. Write me back when you can.

By:KimPosted: Jul 09 2006 06:19:11 PM
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i drink and smokeReply to this Comment
hi im 17 and when me and my boyfriend broke up i became an alcoholic and drug abuser i recently had a wreck an my mom drug tested me im having a hard time dealing with this i leave for rehab soon id love to have someone to talk to

By:SarahPosted: Jul 09 2006 06:53:27 PM
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quiting smokingReply to this Comment
please dont look at life like that because it will tear you down alright.

By:webbsPosted: Aug 02 2006 09:32:07 AM
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not fairReply to this Comment
hi. im 16 and i have been smoking for a little over 2 years. my parents knew about it and never one anything. and now 2 years later they decide im grounded from my boyfriend, who i have also been with for 2 years, unless i stop smoking right now. Help!

i DID ITReply to this Comment
I smoked for almost 5 years and I would always try to quit smoking for some reason or another, but it was never because I wanted to it was always because someone else wanted me to. I would sneak around so I could smoke. Finally I decided for myself that I wanted to quit. It became nasty to me. I quit and havnt smoked since. Both my roomates smoke and a lot of people around me do and I still dont because I made the decision for myself. I did this for me not for anyone else.

I see how my body is dying nearly of smokingReply to this Comment
I'm 17 years old, smoking for 4 or 5 years. The reason why i started smoking i don't even know, all i know is that i made a worst mistake ever in my life,It's quite a while i'm trying to quit smoking, but it lasts only for few months (my best try was for 2 months). But i'm surrounded by "smoking addicted people" as i am everywhere, so i can't make a steady decision to quit smoking... tried to chew a gum, eat some candies or eat as much as pocket cash was (tried your version too Paul) but nothing happens yet... Please someone help me to do the proper try and to quit smoking finally