Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

* This Saturday is "Tommy Lasorda Day" at the library in Pomona , California. It's all part of a month-long "Lasordapalooza," which includes Lasorda-themed art exhibits, literary contests and a Tommy Lasorda look-alike contest. I don't think that's a competition anyone really wants to win. [Baseball Reliquary]

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* Commissioner Jim Delany denies offering new Big Ten slots to Missouri, Nebraska, Notre Dame and Rutgers. You see, the Big Ten never asks. It tells. Now get back to work. [USA Today]