Review of the Season: No plan Ã¢ÂÂBÃ¢ÂÂ for Bar&#231;a &amp; MourinhoÃ¢ÂÂs blacklist

Published

14 June 2011

OCTOBERReal Madrid ended October above Barcelona after perfect month Ã¢ÂÂ essential in a league where dropping a single point is as advisable as jamming your todger in a toaster. PepÃ¢ÂÂs Dream Boys carelessly threw away two precious points at the Camp Nou in a 1-1 draw against Mallorca, prompting mass panty-bunching panic in the Catalan capital.

Ã¢ÂÂGuardiola has no plan B to dynamite defences that are made of concrete,Ã¢ÂÂ fretted Joan Batlle in Sport, suggesting a tactic only permitted in the fourth tier of Spanish football.

The first leg down south was a goalless draw, a result that satisfied Mourinho more than his opposite number. Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm upset: I told the players that if they didnÃ¢ÂÂt repeat AlcorcÃÂ³n then theyÃ¢ÂÂll be on my blacklist,Ã¢ÂÂ joshed mirthful Murcia manager IÃÂ±aki Alonso.

Madrid faced a tougher test in the Champions League with the visit of Milan, an opportunity game which gave Mourinho a chance to indulge his favourite hobby of insulting opposition managers. In response to an apparent spat with Milan boss Massimo Allegri during his Serie A spell, the Special One claimed modestly that there was nowt betwixt the pair: Ã¢ÂÂWhat rivalry can there be between a double European champion and a coach playing his third Champions League game?Ã¢ÂÂ

The main news in Barcelona Ã¢ÂÂ the fun stuff, anyway Ã¢ÂÂ was more mudslinging between current president Sandro Rosell and former bigwig Joan Laporta, with Rosell trying to brand his predecessor financially incompetent.

Receipts were published revealing that LaportaÃ¢ÂÂs regime had blown Ã¢ÂÂ¬90,000 on 1644 guest tickets for a Camp Nou U2 concert and an eyebrow-raising Ã¢ÂÂ¬2m on private detectives between 2005 and 2009.

After an audit of the clubÃ¢ÂÂs coffers, Rosell claimed that BarÃÂ§a hadn't made the Ã¢ÂÂ¬11m profit Laporta claimed for the previous season but a Ã¢ÂÂ¬79m loss. Laporta's retort that Ã¢ÂÂthey have manipulated the accounts we presentedÃ¢ÂÂ left everyone baffled as to who to believe. The eventual consensus seemed to be 'neither'.

Zaragoza continued their poor start to the season and sat bottom of the table. One place above them were Deportivo, who managed their first win of the month on OctoberÃ¢ÂÂs last day. At the beginning, coach Miguel Angel Lotina was still in high spirits claiming that Ã¢ÂÂonly the mediocre resign,Ã¢ÂÂ but towards the end the poor fella was feeling the strain: Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂve spent two nights without a wink of sleep and yesterday I had to ask the club doctor for help.Ã¢ÂÂ LLL isn't sure whether Lotina asked the doc for medication or to play up front.

MÃÂ¡lagaÃ¢ÂÂs big-money quest to be la LigaÃ¢ÂÂs reference point of the south wasnÃ¢ÂÂt quite going to plan, with the side sitting third-bottom by October's end. But this was no dullard Deportivo side: MÃÂ¡laga were wonderful to watch at both ends, with the team going into their clash a few weeks earlier with Real Madrid as la PrimeraÃ¢ÂÂs top scorers whilst possessing the worst defensive record.

Cheat of the month, but with a fine excuse, went to AlmerÃÂ­aÃ¢ÂÂs Juanma Ortiz Ã¢ÂÂ who managed to get MÃÂ¡lagaÃ¢ÂÂs Eliseu sent off after a challenge in which he later admitted there hd been no contact. Ã¢ÂÂHe could have hurt me had he done it!Ã¢ÂÂ claimed the midfielder in a defence worse than MÃÂ¡laga's.