Hello, I’m Frug, a member of the guild "The Committed"....well ok, maybe not a member, cuz I’m just a bear. But my idiot hunter/owner is, and since it’s not like I can leave him and start "The Committed Cubs" or somethin..here I am. I got things to say and this is where I’m gonna say it. Check back from time to time so I can tell you the brilliant things my idiot and the people around him put me through.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas mail

Yeah, I know I haven't posted anything in a while. Big Deal. I've been busy. I made the mistake of offering to take some of the load off of Father Winter, so the punk starts handing out my email address for wish lists. I can't believe some these:

-Dear Santa-Frug,

I wud like a kool new dager fer my rouge four Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy allyeer.

yer Frend, Roosr

Dear Roosr,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How aboutI send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'mgiving Pix the dagger. At least HE can spell!

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for myowner’s guild to run MC again, because he’s stabled me until then.Please see what you can do?

Love, LilTeddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your owner’s busy trying out other pets. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your sorry ass, who cries for food constantly? It's time to give upthat dream. Let me get you some nice mushrooms instead.

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy makingtoys?

Your friend, Soup

Dear Soup,

All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Ashenvale, where Ispend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinkingmyself silly and squeezing the asses of bear-form druid waitresses while losingmoney at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.