A tradition like no other. Or a tradition utterly like many others, except that this one—this effectively prize-free bracket challenge, this celebration of wrongheaded certainty, this particular delving into pure partisanship and speculation—is ours and ours alone. EXPERIENCE IT.

With the end of Monday Night Football's season comes the end of another triumphant Footballz campaign. Let us celebrate the journey as Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden cannot—by sort of paying attention to the game, and enjoying a live broadcast from Parlor Sports, in scenic Somerville, Mass.

From Tropical Tom Coughlin and the vexingly still-in-the-mix New York Giants to the torpid n' flubby Miami Dolphins, tonight's Monday Night Football game promises to be some pretty drowsy stuff. All the more reason to listen to Footballz LOUD.

There is only one football game left in Week 13, and it is between the charred and mostly loathsome husk of the Dallas football team and the even less appealing team from Washington. This, friends, is when we need Footballz.

The Buffalo Bills are trying to settle a bunch of weird and opaque scores with the entire rest of the world. The New England Patriots are the best football team on the planet, and somehow even angrier. Oh hell yes it's time to turn up the Footballz.

In response to a less-than-thrilling Monday Night Football match-up, our heroes respond with a full slate of in-studio guests, a special call-in guest, and basically anything else necessary to distract you from the Houston Texans.