The LA Times' Ministry of Gossip asked screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg about Twilight: Breaking Dawn being split into two movies. One of which will, as fans know, involve Bella's pregnancy with a vampire fetus that tries to kill her.

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How a vampire — by definition undead — gets a human woman pregnant is just one of the many mysteries in Stephenie Meyer's Twi-universe. (She has tackled the question in the past, saying: "First of all, of course it's not possible. None of this story is possible… [But] like with vampire skin — which looks similar to human skin and has the same basic function — fluids closely related to seminal fluids still exist in male vampires, which carry genetic information and are capable of bonding with a human ovum." Okay?)

The fetus has already inspired incredibly creepy crafts, but how will the teen-friendly film handle the fact that Bella's unborn spawn breaks her ribs and sucks the life from her — and has to be gnawed out of her body by SparkleVamp daddy Edward?

Can you guess what this is? It's a womb. Not just any womb; Bella's womb. With actual…
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Melissa Rosenberg tells Ministry of Gossip:

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On the fan site, on Facebook, all the comments are "It has to be R rated! You have to show the childbirth! Gore and guts and sex!" For me it's actually more interesting to not see it. You know, you can do childbirth without seeing childbirth ... it doesn't mean it's any less evocative of an experience.

Dammit! A gory, blood-drenched birth might actually make this crap interesting. Oh well. We'll have to make do with hilarious fan art instead.

(By the way, if you ever want to be frightened of the Internet, Google Renesmee fan art and look at all the pictures of the adorable Vampire Baby. Shudder.)