Only on Planet Celeb...

GWYNETH Pal­trow and Chris Martin ‘con­sciously un­cou­pling’ was cringe-mak­ing enough. But now ac­tor Michael Sheen has re­vealed a com­i­cally right-on ex­cuse for break­ing up: Brexit. The Welsh star ended his four-year re­la­tion­ship with US THE Crown star Claire Foy’s lat­est film, The Girl In The Spi­der’s Web, has had a rough ride from crit­ics. Maybe chan­nelling Ed­mund Black­ad­der for the role wasn’t such a good idea? come­di­enne Sarah Sil­ver­man be­cause he wanted to move back to Bri­tain from LA to find out why so many peo­ple wanted out of the EU. She, in turn, de­cided to travel Amer­ica talk­ing to peo­ple about why they voted for Trump. Their pil­low talk must have been rivet­ing.

HER­CULE POIROT is to lose his iconic Bel­gian ac­cent in the BBC’s Agatha Christie drama at Christ­mas. John Malkovich is giv­ing the world’s most fa­mous de­tec­tive the tones of an English gen­tle­man to re­flect Poirot’s 20 years of liv­ing in Eng­land. Do the pro­duc­ers not re­alise that for Poirot diehards this is sac­ri­lege on a par with the Queen de­liv­er­ing her Christ­mas mes­sage in a com­edy Scot­tish voice?

IN HER ir­ri­tat­ingly ti­tled new book Why French Women Feel Young At 50, sul­try au­thor My­lene Desclaux (dumped by her man for a 37-year-old) shares gems such as these: Never wear cu­lottes. Change your first name if it’s dated. Don’t throw a 50th birth­day party.

My­lene trills that spar­row-like French First Lady Brigitte Macron is a paragon of em­pow­er­ment. Per­haps she could add an­other ‘rule’ with Madame Macron in mind: Women of 65 with bony knees should ditch their mini-skirts.