Grief & Loss

Terrified to try again.

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Ericanm01 wrote:

Went into premature labor last December and lost my son at 5 months into my pregnancy. He was fine until my body forced me to deliver him. It was the most painful loss I’ve ever experienced and was so hard on my husband and I. I feel like it’s ruined pregnancy for me. With my first, everything was so easy, but after this devastating loss, I am so scared to try again!

How can I relax when there’s such a fear of possibly losing another one. How can I keep myself from getting excited and feeling all of that love when I hear the heart beat for the first time?

I don't have experience with a pregnancy after loss. But I am on a TTC after loss forum and although some of the newly pregnant women on there are a bit scared of what could happen, they seem hopeful and positive. I think if you do decide to get pregnant again you will feel the same joy as you did the first time. Yes it will be stressfull, but judging by the majority of what I have seen it will be worth it.You just need to make the right decision for you. Some women and their partners can't cope with the chance of losing another and that is ok.I hope that helps. Sending you hugs

I’m so sorry for your loss, friend. I’ve experienced a loss in the past year and I can understand how painful this is for you. While I don’t have a story to share, I want you to know that I’m praying for you, and I really hope you find comfort and the strength to move on at this time. I wish I was closer so that I could put an arm around you. Hang in there!

So so sorry to hear about your loss. I went through a similar situation last August, lost my baby at 22 weeks, it still hurts. So I completely understand your fear but there’s hope. I became pregnant again 6 months later and just delivered a healthy baby boy at 39 weeks and 2 days.

To be honest I had anxiety throughout this second pregnancy because of my previous loss, so expect anxiety but that doesn’t take away from the joy you’ll experience when you feel the kicks, or at the doc appointments when all the test and results come back fine. My advice is do not be scared to try again. Not sure how strong your faith is but if you are a religious or spiritual person I’ll say find comfort and peace that way throughout your pregnancy. It will help with the anxiety and the feeling of fear. But there is definitely a little rainbow waiting for you after the storm, please don’t give up. I’ll have you in my thoughts and prayers. Go for it, and let God, the universe handle the rest, you’ll be in good hands.

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