As I've said before, one of the most unexpected benefits of writing this blog is the opportunity to bring information about relevant medical conditions to the general public. Topics that might otherwise go unnoticed are given the spotlight and recognition they deserve, so those who suffer from them can finally seek the appropriate course of treatment.

Today, I'm happy to do that once again.

The disorder in question? Something I personally am afflicted with:

Ring-Around-the-Rosie-Induced-Vertigo, also known as RARIV.

RARIV Overview:

A temporarily debillitatating condition brought on by the constant and unrelenting spinning from the game, "Ring-Around-the-Rosie." Most RARIV cases occur when there is a toddler in the home. Onset of RARIV is most commonly the result of a well-meaning caregiver, who thought playing an innocent game would "be a fun thing to do." The toddler in question (TIQ, henceforth) is most commonly the one demanding to play Ring-Around-the-Rosie, and the parent and/or caregiver is usually powerless to stop them. Symptom presentation is acute, lasting for the duration of the game and several minutes afterward. RARIV can last for minutes or hours, depending on the TIQ.

Not to be confused with: Peek-a-boo Palsy, Chronic Fatigue Toddler Syndrome, or Inflammatory Patience Disorder (a rare but quality-of-life-threatening condition in which the parent completely loses their patience (henceforth known as "their sh*t) and suffers from irritability, peevishness, exasperation, and all-around ill-humor. If you or a loved one is currently suffering from IPD, please seek treatment immediately. Or open a bottle of wine. Both work very well.)

Diagnosis and Tests

Diagnosis of RARIV consists of watching the patient in question spin rapidly around the room, at the demands of the TIQ, only to then fall onto the floor in a helpless, hapless heap. The observer, usually the spouse of the patient, will ask about the duration of the game, the velocity at which the spinning occurs, and how long "'til they all fall down?" Inability to answer said questions highlights an especially acute case, warranting immediate medical care. Treatment and Care

Researchers have identified three majors forms of treatment for RARIV. They are:

-- distraction-- alternative care for the TIQ (i.e. hire a baby-sitter and get the hell out of dodge)-- bedtime

In a 2007 groundbreaking study from Denmark, researchers were able to pinpoint the most effective forms of distraction included: Elmo, snacks, and trucks. There were certain limitations to this study, particularly since the subjects were little boys and the patients were their mothers. Further research is needed to understand this potentially devastating disorder.

Resources

Are you or a loved one currently experiencing RARIV? Suffer no more. Go to www.RARIVhelpmemykidismakingmecrazy.org for further information.