After all this time together, his raging, evil, twisted, latent monster surfaced and left me in total shock! Talking about it to anyone will only make my nightmare worse if he finds out, so I am venting here, anonymously. I have to have somewhere to let it out. I now know he is a narcissist, but what else? bipolar? schizoid? psychotic? schizophrenic? some other mental disorder? I hope someone can help me answer this and find a way to get me out of here!.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Another Property Possibility

I was so down yesterday. I still am a bit, but not quite so badly. I am trying to stay strong, but I guess it all kind of caught up with me yesterday and I had a little break down. Maybe I needed the release. I said he wasn't worth tears and I wasn't going to cry, but they just started flowing yesterday before I even knew it. I just couldn't stop them. The good that came out of it, besides the release, was a clog in my sinuses that nothing has been able to break loose for awhile, now, finally came loose and I am breathing a bit better today.

My two white male Boxers noticed instantly that I was extra sad yesterday, ran to my side and snuggled up to me and washed my tears away. They were so comforting. Problem was, though, that they snuggled up so tightly next to me in the night that I could hardly move or breathe. They are so in tune with me they are invaluable! I could never imagine them not being by my side.

I stumbled across another great possibility of a property today, too. There weren't any pictures of it, but the description was wonderful. It was kind of sad, too, as they are selling it fast and cheap due to health issues. This one is also 5 acres but just a bit more than half the price of the other one. It will probably go really fast at that price (been on the market for well over a year, but price has been drastically dropped) but I am hoping and praying that I am the one that it goes to. I have someone calling about it for me, as I have discovered this week that this phone is being listened in on so making phone calls is getting more and more difficult for me, which feels like even deeper isolation and loneliness.

Please keep me and my farm in your thoughts and prayers for our safety and that a place to move to comes up quickly, along with the means to move. Thank you so much and may you have a very blessed day!