The Comedy of Errors

Antipholus of Ephesus. Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
1250To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
1255[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end]Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

Dromio of Ephesus. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
ears. I have served him from the hour of my
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
1280heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
1285beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

Antipholus of Ephesus. You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
And I denied to enter in my house?
1315

Adriana. O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!

Antipholus of Ephesus. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
And art confederate with a damned pack
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
1355That would behold in me this shameful sport.
[Enter three or four, and offer to bind him.]He strives]

Officer. He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
The debt he owes will be required of me.

Adriana. I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
1375And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house. O most unhappy day!

Courtezan. When as your husband all in rage to-day
1395Came to my house and took away my ring—
The ring I saw upon his finger now—
Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

Adriana. It may be so, but I did never see it.
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
1400I long to know the truth hereof at large.
[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn,]and DROMIO of Syracuse]

Antipholus of Syracuse. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

Dromio of Syracuse. Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
1415methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
turn witch.

Antipholus of Syracuse. I will not stay to-night for all the town;
1420Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.