What if – you spent 3 years with someone before deciding on spend your life with this guy and than marriage and after 1 year of marriage your husbands cheats on you, than proceeds to constantly blow up in your face, won’t talk to you for days, weeks, etc. What if you thought you had it all only to find out you have nothing?

Beth, I am sorry that happened to you. Speaking from experience, whether the relationship goes slow or fast, unless you live with someone for a specific duration of time, and this doesn’t mean you have to sleep with them when you do that, you won’t see the ‘real’ person come out. People can hide their true self but when you are with them 24/7 there is no where to hide. You get to see the real them. I hope the next guy is someone worthy of you. Don’t give up, just truly don’t give the next one anywhere to hide his bad habits. When you see them, you can decide if they are habits you can live with. And don’t settle for anyone because they are willing to ‘settle’ for you. Make them work hard to earn your future years with them. This is also a great filtering system. Those who don’t care won’t make the effort while those who do, will.

I’m sorry, Beth. I know that sometimes the advice that James gives seems ultra-ideal. And it is. He seems like a really interesting person, but sometimes life isn’t perfect: people have issues: life ain’t pretty. All I can do is send you a big virtual HUG, and confirm that you are NOT remotely alone, in-regards to such hard situations as you’ve been through.

Simply beautiful. The exact feeling I had when I fell in love with this one guy. Too bad, it wasn’t reciprocal. But the fact that we can’t be together, does not hurt anymore. All I want is for him to be happy regardless with who. I’m happy enough for ever have such feeling once in my life. Because I knew, it is real.