1.01.2013

This past weekend I had the chance to spend some time with a handful of really amazing friends.

I'll be totally honest, usually the idea of getting together with a bunch of girls for a long weekend, isn't typically what I'm the best at. Don't get me wrong, I've always had lots of great friends, but growing up... most of them were guys.

Around the second year of high school I realized that the male specimen was much easier and less confusing to get along with... until you started liking them as more than a friend, and then things always flew out of wack, FAST.

:)

Ready for some truth?...

For most of my life, I've been extremely intimidated by other women.

I'll admit right now, it was definitely a self esteem issue on MY part. It's hard to feel confident, happy and content when you have things in your life that you feel are out of control... and for some reason, women can pick up on other women's insecurities a lot easier than men can. So I would tend to avoid them, or at least super close relationships with them.

For the past two years I've been on a mental, emotional and spiritual journey to find out who I REALLY am and what I really WANT in life. Last year, as I finally took some RISKS, made the commitment to lose a bunch of weight and really take blogging on as a full-time job, Cason also challenged me to do something else. He told me to sit down and write out a list of what kind of characteristics I'd want in the perfect friend. When I looked at him like he was crazy, he explained... and it went something like this:

"You need more women in your life. They make you happier, when you find the RIGHT ones. But something you've got to stop doing, is hanging out with the kind of women who aren't going to build you up! You're SO awesome, so stop being intimidated by other women who are awesome too!"

It was like a light clicked on in my brain.

I hurried and wrote down a list of characteristics that some of the greatest women I've known in my life have had, and came up with this.

ack!, I pretty much have the worst handwriting ever... sorry!

Ultimately, I wanted the closest women in my life to be really similar to the kind of person that I, MYSELF was working so hard to be! Along with taking tons of risks in 2012, I also decided that I was going to be genuinely happy and confident in who I was, no matter what shape, size, height or overall talent level I was at, so that I could start attracting the same kinds of people... and guess what? It TOTALLY worked!

As women, we are our own best AND worst critic. If you feel GREAT about yourself, it shows... if you feel NOT-so-great about yourself, THAT shows too! So I had to consciously try to always have the best attitude about MYSELF, so that it not only made ME feel better, but also the people around me feel happier and more comfortable around me too. Nobody wants to hang with the sad, self conscious, negative girl, am I right!?

I've had the above paper shoved in a drawer for a little over a year, and have to say that these standards still hold true. I don't want to be around women who think they aren't good enough, who talk bad about themselves and others, who don't understand that just because I'm super busy and don't call you for a month DOESN'T mean that I'm mad at you, or like you any less. I need a friend who is passionate about life, who can take a joke, laugh at herself when she makes a mistake, knows that nobody is perfect, and also be secure enough to prance around town running errands with no makeup on and in a pair of sweats, fully aware that her wardrobe doesn't define her.

In the end, I realized that I needed friends who are happy, confident and AWESOME just being THEMSELVES!... but I knew I couldn't expect that out of a good friend, until I was willing to be all of those things too.

I know that nobody is completely and fully satisfied in every aspect of their lives, but I strongly believe that being able to make the BEST of what you have, is something that everyone CAN do.

This last year was such a huge milestone for me.

I learned how to listen to my body, I challenged myself to do things that were hard, scary and uncomfortable and I finally stopped caring about what everyone ELSE thought of me and started to focus on what I thought about MYSELF instead.

I feel like in the race of life, at this point in time, I've already jumped over the biggest, hardest and most emotional hurdles... and I feel great!, but I've still got a LOT of the race to go. So when a few of my new friends asked me this past weekend "What's your word for 2013?" it really only took me a few minutes to come up with it...

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AWESOMER

Urban Dictionary:

1. Awesomer

to be even more awesome than the person or thing that is awesome; the act of making more awesome.

So maybe it's not a "real" word, but for me, it's PERFECT.

After a LOT of hard work I'm FINALLY on the fast track to being the happier, healthier, more confident person that I always wanted to be and for that, I feel AWESOME. But this last year ended too fast, and I feel like I have so much more to learn and work towards, so now...

I'm in the act of making MORE awesome in 2013.

. . .

Do you have a word/goal each year that you try to achieve or stick to? If so, I'd LOVE to hear it! I've never been one to make "New Years resolutions" but in a way, I guess that's what this is.

145 comments:

I love your word! My word is "Enjoy". In 2013, I plan on enjoying this life that I was given, more than I ever have before. I have a 2 year old, a 3 year old and another due in March. Life is busy and I plan on enjoying it more!

Umm, hi, I'm Mari and we can totally be BFFs. For many reasons,but mostly because you put a bunch of stars next to "drama free." And maybe one day, you can come to CA or I can go to UT & we can go shopping in our sweats at Target with our girls. That would be way awesome.

I LOVE your list. I really don't think it's easy to make friends the older you get. Unlike my daughter who can make a new friend in 2 seconds by saying "hi." I am a bit of a resolutionist, but I still thought I would try for a word. I went over to Urban Dictionary and looked up my name. I'm working on ME this year and I think KRISTEN is my go to word for the year because, "Kristen: Slang for the most awesome girl ever!" I'm not going to argue - I'm freaking amazing. lol! You are pretty awesomer Shelley - Happy New Year to you!

Mine is "do". I am gonna DO all the things that I've wanting to do for so long and take chances and like you, lose the weight, find some good quality friendships, grow my origami owl business, do the work I've been wanting to on my home. I plan to just DO the work that I need to become a better me! : )

Wow, this is an eye-opener! I also have just 2 or 3 female-friends and normally I'm better with man-collegues etc. I'm going to think about this blog and do something with it! Thanks for making this great blog and best awesomer wishes for 2013. God bless you! Love form Holland,Patricia

I LOVE this!!!! You and I are in exactly the same space. Enjoy your renewed spirit....Isn't it such an amazing feeling! Looking forward to another year of wonderful reading and "how to" projects. Happy New Year!

Thank you so much for this!!! I can totally relate to everything you said. My goal this year is to find the awesome ME again. I'll keep this to look back on from time to time. It's funny how when we stay at home with the kids we sometimes lose who we are and need to re-find ourselves. I look forward to the challenge and hope I can be just as awesome as you are! Happy New Year!!

yes! I hear ya. There are moments in life when we think... Who am I, again? LOL. That's why I love the idea of having a hobby or something that keeps me connected to my greatest passion of creating!Best of luck!

So I just want to say, you are the most awesomer-est ever! So inspired by your ideas, and wow, this particular post is really making me rethink my 2013 goals; I am that girl with trust/insecurity issues you described and heck yea, if we don't think we're terrific, who is?? We gotta believe in ourselves, nourish our hearts/soul and surround ourselves with like minds. So back to my 2013 list for one serious tweak and "borrowing" Cason's advice. Love this, love your blog, have a great 2013!

oh my, I completely agree, I couldn't have put into words what you just did but it's exactly how I feel. I am completely intimidated by other women. I am much more comfortable with men and I do not have any girlfriends to just be myself with.I have a few that are relatively easy to be around but always feel like I have to hold back who I really am and I desperately do not want to feel this way because I do not want my insecurities to hold my kids back from having friends and being social. I feel very awkward around her friends Mom's always feel like I say the wrong thing and need to feel more confident in myself and who I am. That's my goal for the new year.Thank you for putting yourself out there and putting into words how I felt but couldn't describe!

Interesting post. I find it difficult to connect with women too, but I like that you said it's about finding the RIGHT ones. I think I also struggle with MAINTAINING those friendships too. I don't have a word this year, but I do like yours! :)

This post really spoke to me since its exactly how I am too. I'm very self conscious and have never really had a bunch of gf's because they were just too complicated. Guys were just easier so I just stuck around them for the most part. I've put up with some really mean bullies just so I can call a few girls some friends. Even in adulthood. Then I realized that what I'm doing is silly. I have a few good friends and throughout life I'll make some new ones. I have a wonderful husband and family too, so I just need to appreciate what I have and put my focus there. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I need to surround myself with people that make me feel good about myself.

Ah! I am still trying to figure mine out! Better late than never, right? This post totally speaks to me girl! I never had girlfriends until beauty school, and that may have been cause I had no other option then! I have found a few really good girlfriends out there, but I know if I open myself up more, there would be so many more out there too! Thanks for the inspiration (like always!).

My word for 2013 is POSITIVITY. Some really negative crap happened last year and I need to put the people who caused it behind me and move ahead. Hard to do when they're friends - but I don't want friends who bring me down and hurt my feelings and upset me. Time to make some new friends and let go of the negativity!

Shelley, you truly are amazing! I've been following your blog for awhile now, but I don't think I've ever left a comment. Weird...no idea why that is. But you really inspire me in so many ways! I even painted stripes in my living room because I was so in love with the stripes you painted for your girls' bedroom. Wouldn't you know, my landlord called a week later and said he would be selling the house in 6 months. Grrrr... but I'll enjoy them while I can! I love that you're willing to share the good, the bad and the ugly; it's very refreshing. I've been struggling with self esteem issues for...oh, forever, but it's been harder the last few years. I gained so much weight after - yes after my last little boy was born and I've tied that directly to my self worth. So when you mentioned in your post that you needed a friend secure enough to run errands without make up and wearing sweats, knowing that her wardrobe doesn't define her - something clicked in my brain. Suddenly things are more in perspective for me. Thank you so much for not just this post, but for being willing to share so much of yourself. Here's to being Awesomer in 2013!

LOVE this post!! You said it all for me, and I thank you. I have a hard time feeling adequate a lot of the time, and I think that chases other ladies away. I am going to try hard to be comfortable with myself and therefore more comfortable with others. I just started doing the word of the year this year...I actually have a linky going for word of the year posts! LOVE your word...SO much fun!

I TOTALLY did that too! I would put myself down, thinking that if I did it before anyone ELSE did, that I would save myself some heartache. ACK! Isn't that awful! Who thinks like that?A few years back I figured out that it just made me AND other people feel uncomfortable, so I nipped that in the butt right away. LOL

I have never posted on a blog before, so here goes.......THANK YOU!!!!! I feel like you just described me better than I could describe myself. I grew up the only girl on both sides of the family for a LONG time, love sports, and then had physical issues that led to 6 surgeries, including a complete hysterectomy at age 27. Never thought I would EVER be talking to my mom about menopause at the same time she was going through it. Not a lot of women my age that have that in common. While my sister in laws and girl friends are having babies, I'm dealing with hot flashes.....doesn't make for a great conversation starter. Just moved to a new place at age 34 and am still figuring out who I am. I'm constantly comparing myself and being negative and pulling away from possible friendships. Came from a place where everyone knew why I couldn't have any more children (thankful for my 8 yr, old miracle boy who I had when I was 25) now I have to explain it again when everyone asks when we are having more kids because they don't know me. I was just talking to my husband about this yesterday and then read your post this morning. It was a HUGE encouragement to me. I need to stand confident it how God made me. I'm here for a purpose. In order to have real friends, I need to be real. Thanks for being so honest, even though I know that it couldn't have been easy to write. Thank you for letting God use you to impact others. I will be praying for both of us as we take this journey through 2013!

Even though discouraging, I LOVE your story! It is so heartfelt and I honestly believe that we have to go through trials, so that we can come out better on the other side.Obviously you KNOW you're not alone, and I'm sure that there are plenty of women who are going through the same thing as you! Maybe you're meant to be a voice of comfort and reason for them, when they feel inadequate, frustrated or sad (?)I feel like God uses us, our personalities and experiences in life in the neatest ways. We never know who we're going to effect or help, by simply being able to relate to someone who's gone through a similar experience.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and for making your FIRST EVER blog comment! Whoo hoo!

Shelley, you can smack me for commenting all over your blog, but I just HAD to respond to this. Rachel, I can TOTALLY relate to what you are saying. I had a hysterectomy at 25. It's not really something that most women our age can relate to, but I just wanted to give you some encouragement and let you know that you're not alone. Hot flashes before 30 definitely SUCK, one minute you're so hot that you fear to the public eye you look like a rat drowning in your own sweat then at the drop of a dime you are bundling up in whatever warm clothing you can get your hands on. I too have two beautiful miracles of my own that I am so grateful to have. Thanks for sharing your story... it always helps to know that there is someone else out there that has been dealt the same cards and have traveled a similar journey. Kudos to you!

Great post and I love your word! Your 'awesomer' bracelet...adorable. (Is it stamped leather or metal?) My word for 2013 is Release. My initial thoughts - releasing little habits and behaviors that are not serving me. I figure that will keep me busy this year!

Great post, and great point. I'm sharing this on FB & Twitter I'm so inspired by the "define your ideal friend" exercise :) My word for 2013 is FREEDOM. For me, this includes: financial freedom from debt (to the extent I can with student loans), spiritual freedom, freedom to be happy with my body, and the freedom that comes from a sense of peace. Love this blog, btw!

Wow! Thank you so much for this post! I think it hit exactly on the head of the nail I have been wanting and trying to do. I LOVE your word Andi stead of resolutions that I never keep each year, I will make this and a few other things my GOALS! Thank you for being such an inspiration!

I love to look at the beginning of a new year and figure out how I can be better. I did it this year, but I also took some time this year to acknowledge ways I had improved in 2012. It was really cool! I am better at the end of this year than I was when it started. I still have so much to do to get to the person I know I can be and should be, but I'm really thankful for who I am.

Anyway, thanks so much for your great writing. I'm going to tackle some decorating this year and I'm really looking forward to your inspiration.

Thanks for sharing... I'm similar (but the opposite, if that makes sense) in that I'm male and the majority of my friends growing up were female. I've never really taken the time to assess why that is; I've just chalked it up to men are always competitive and the few male friends I've had along the way ended up being horrible examples so I've just gone without. However, reading this post may cause me to do some soul searching. Happy New Year!

Oh gosh, you sound like my husband! He has ZERO guy friends. haha! He'd rather sit around chatting with me and other ladies about everything and nothing, than attempt to have a conversation about sports or hunting with another guy.But that's what I love about him! Everyone is built so differently inside, and my guy happens to like home improvement, great style and buying my girls lots of clothes they don't need. LOL.I have no complaints :)

So Cason may or may NOT want to punch me for putting this idea in your head, BUT I think you should pass that same challenge he gave you last year on to him. Since he has ZERO guy friends and all, have him write a list of the qualities he wants his friends to have and challenge him to make one or twenty. :) Preferably MY husband since one day we will be sort of related when our little's get married. HA! Besides, Bill could use some help in the home improvement department. OR, They can make a trade... Cason can come fix our leaky faucet and Bill can change the brakes/oil on your cars.

My word for 2013 is "risk". I'm a calculated risk taker which I'm finding isn't really taking "true risks". These risks include career, family, and friendships... and a new area I'm adding is faith. Just asking myself to be a risk taker is risky business!! Here is to great year of risks! Sounds like yours went well and blessed you beyond your expectations!! Best of luck in 2013!!

Good for you! RISK is a GREAT word, and when you're on the fence about what to do in a situation, you'll remember it and hopefully TAKE the risk :)Mine always turned out really well, so yours probably will too!

I have also been working on creating more meaningful friendships. This year will be the first year that I have chosen a word for the year. My word is Forward. I've felt like a lot of things in my life have been either stuck or going backwards. I'm hoping this year will contain a bunch of steps forward.

So in the 10 (plus) years I have known you, All the girls we went to school with or were around LOVED you! You attract everyone with your happiness and fun personality. I'm so glad you aren't so insecure anymore because everyone always wants to be YOUR friend. Of course! Love you lots cute girl :)

Love this post! You're such an inspiration to me. I haven't figured out my word for 2013 yet, but seeing so many people talk about it has got my wheels turning. I love the idea of using it as a sort of alternative to traditional resolutions.

Oh my gosh. Reading this post felt like you were talking about me. This really hit close to home for me. I'm so glad to know it's not just me! I have ony had ONE close girlfriend in my life that I felt I could totally be myself around. She passed away from Cancer 5 years ago. I haven't been really close to a female since. And,I never was before. I was always closer to guys, for EVERY reason you just listed. My Husband put me up to the same challenge, Find a girlfriend. One that I can love being around and spend time with. One that makes me feel good about ME! THANK YOU for sharing your heart with us. I feel like I know you! Love reading your blog. You're such an inspiration!

I LOVE your word.....mine is DOCUMENT. As in get all those pictures out of the piles in the containers - organize and preserve the memories. In addition to that I am tackling Project Life for the first time. And I have to ask....where did you find that precious bracelet showcasing your word?

Great word!! I have been feeling the same way about friends. Glad you posted this!! I feel like I am blooming and finding my true self too! It is always good to have great supportive women in your life. I have a few but always wish they were a bit more like me.I am going to make my list and get myself right then I will attract the friends I wish I had!

My Goals are two wrapped in one: health&wealth! It seems one always affects the other, and I am not going out to make gobs of money or run marathons. I want to be smarter with what goes in my mouth and out of my wallet, bringing peace of mind for both. Both of these have been tough areas for me to control, so instead of having 15 goals and not going through with any of them, I slimmed my list down and decided on the two most important. Here's to a healthy and wealthy 2013!

I've always been the same way, Shelley! For some reason, our culture has created a lot of girl-on-girl meanness, and that can make it difficult to find (or even want to find) female friends. But when you find the GOOD ones, the ones who make you feel like your best self, it's awesome[er]!All of us don't just come here to read about your decorating sense because that's your only admirable quality--you're a great person and that radiates through your words!Here's to a happy, fruitful 2013 for you and your family!

Rachel that's SO NICE!!! Thank you for your sweet comment and you're totally right! For some reason our society makes it "okay" to be mean to each other and I wish we would all just shake that from our minds.

I've always been the same way, Shelley! For some reason, our culture has created a lot of girl-on-girl meanness, and that can make it difficult to find (or even want to find) female friends. But when you find the GOOD ones, the ones who make you feel like your best self, it's awesome[er]!All of us don't just come here to read about your decorating sense because that's your only admirable quality--you're a great person and that radiates through your words!Here's to a happy, fruitful 2013 for you and your family!

Goodness I needed this post today!! My biggest struggle of 2012 was definitely battling loneliness and finding friends. I love when a new year begins! This year I am totally going to work on ME and becoming that AWESOMER person! THANK YOU!!!!

Can I just tell you how big of an inspiration you are!! You are already awesome, why not be awesomer?! This past year has been really tough, but it has been a great gift getting to know you and your family and being able to be inspired by how you have overcome your own difficulties and trials. Thanks for all of the positivity!! Best of luck in the coming year!!!

Thanks so much Tara!I was actually a little worried that people might read into it wrong, thinking... "Ugh, she thinks she's awesome!?" lol, but I took a risk because I just feel like we're NEVER fully to the point where we don't need to improve anymore!

Girl, it's like you typed out my thoughts! I'm working so hard to just be comfortable being me. So what if my house is a mess when someone drops by. I always feel the need to apologize...even when my house is picked up! I'll apologize for the chippy paint on the stools that need to be repainted. It's crazy! And when someone says something nice about about a project I did, I'll tell them everything that I didn't do. How it could have been better. I mean come on! What's up with that.

I'm so done with that....at least I'm trying to be. It sometime just comes out when I'm nervous.(which happens around newere people)

What I need is a fun group of ladies who like to create. I'm on the look out! Thanks for sharing! It's good to hear that I'm not the only one!

I love this post. Every time I stick my neck out there and say "Why is it so hard to make friends with women?" other women come forward and say "I'm so glad I wasn't the only one who thought that!!" It always seems like you get halfway there with a new friend, and it never quite reaches "bestie" territory. Not sure what that's about.

Part of my problem, I've found, is that I want women who are fun and spontaneous, so I'm drawn to single women. Then I get bitter when they spend money on themselves and have oodles of free time to do whatever, and they get bitter when I'm not available at a moment's notice. So life sort of gets in the way of the personalities meshing. Now that my son is starting kindergarten, I'm hoping to meet more mom friends who are fun and spontaneous, but also understand when you need time at home. Anyway, thanks for a great post.

I loved your post and felt a lot of truth for myself in it. I also have stayed away from friendships because I tend to attract unhealthy, needy or negative people...says something about me too, to an extent. I will make out a friend list like you did! Its a great idea. Thanks so much for the heart felt and honest post. This is the first time on your blog for me...i love it. Oh and my word for this year? Present. As in BE present. I tend to think ahead too much and miss things that are amazing because I'm planning, or worrying. Thanks again for the honesty and keep up the good stuff!

Great post! It's funny, I heard/read two people talk about your blog in the last week so I popped over to check it out. :)

I have a motto and a "year of" for each year. Last year was about Organization (and I did make headway although not perfect). This year, 2013, my motto is: First observe, then serve. Similarly, this year for me is the "year of service." I'm keeping a journal to track it.

I am so glad to see someone not afraid to say this!! :) I have also stuck to guy friends because I always felt so intimidated by other women. And it DOES have to do with me, not them! Good for you to recognize it and act on it. Oh, and awesomer is a real word in my book. lol

I love your blog entry, it's so true!! I'm the same kind if person, I don't have a lot of close girlfriends and for some of the same reasons you have written. You really made me think, that I am my own destiny and what I put into it is what I'm going to get back out of it. My "word" for 2013 is MOTIVATION!!! I have had 5 back surgeries in 4 years and with all that recovery time I got REALLY lazy watching TV. I'm several years out from my last surgery and the laziness is still sticking to me like glue. It's a new year, a new day and a NEW ME!! Thanks Shelly and Cason for your inspiring words & thoughts

I like your word! Fun. Some friends of mine are doing this as well and so I already know my word....TRUTH. Just recently my son's autism diagnosis was changed to ADHD and dyslexia and all the lights came on. The autism diagnosis was always an awkward fit for him and in my heart...I didn't believe it. I knew there was something else at work and I was unsettled and stressed until we found it. Yeah, he has MAJOR ADHD so that's not the most fun thing sometimes...but knowing the truth and knowing in all of me that it IS the truth...is giving me such peace. I want to pursue that kind of soul-deep truth in the rest of my life this year...being my true self, speaking only truth to everyone, as kindly as possible but with no mistake....I will not lie to you to save your feelings...unless you are my mother in law or super vulnerable in some way and need it. I guess I'm not ready to be ruthless about it. lol So...Truth. It feels good and is way better than some of my past years of resolutions that are based on my perception of myself as not good enough. Poo to that.

Truth is a tricky thing. Sometimes it's good, somethings it's not. LOL. And I think that's what you're saying. Knowing when to speak the truth because it will HELP someone or make them feel better, is ALWAYS okay in my book.It's the truth that HURTS, that I have a problem with. Don't point out that I'm fat or scatterbrained when I already know it. LOL. I think that's the problem I have with other women, that they feel the need to sometimes point out the flaws, instead of the best parts. And I'm TOTALLY throwing myself into that category, because I've done it too.

The truth CAN set you free and that's what I love about it. I love your story, because you have come to terms with some things that are really hard, yet you still seem so positive and aware. That's huge!

Forge ahead girl. You've got this! And yes... poo-poo on that perception that you're not good enough. That's just crazy talk! :)

Reshape is my word. I want to reshape my life in a more positive happier direction. I'm a strong Catholic Christian, but I want to reshape to become even more faithful by going that extra mile. I have a dream I want to reshape into reality, instead of just dreaming about it. I want to drop some LBS, so I'm reshaping my body and exercise. Thank you for being the motivation behind my word. You have been such an inspiration through your blog!

Reshape is my word. I want to reshape my life in a more positive happier direction. I'm a strong Catholic Christian, but I want to reshape to become even more faithful by going that extra mile. I have a dream I want to reshape into reality, instead of just dreaming about it. I want to drop some LBS, so I'm reshaping my body and exercise. Thank you for being the motivation behind my word. You have been such an inspiration through your blog!

Shelly-I love your word! What a great challenge to put yourself first and take the challenge to surround yourself with people that love you for who you are not what they want you to be. I had a friendship a couple of years ago that was so toxic. I became a person I realized I did not want to be. I was so disappointed in myself but couldn't figure out how to pull myself out of it. Finally my husband had enough, thank goodness! I made the decision to cut her out of my life, with reprecussions, of course, but wow do I feel awesome! I now have terrific friends that I to be with and love me for who I am and don't try to change me. I am so thankful I have the friends that I can just pick up with at any point, a week, a month or even a couple months down the road! You deserve to surround with people that love you! I wish you much health and happiness in 2013!

Wow thank you so much for this inspirational post. I love how honest you are about yourself and I think more women need to stop pretending to be someone else's perfect while deep down inside they are truly desiring to be accepted for the perfect woman that they are. You clearly have a sincere heart, passion for what you do and I appreciate your willingness to be open, honest and REAL with those you come in contact with. I hope you achieve all your goals this year, but I hope you also continue to be the awesome person you are and choose to be daily. I've only been reading your blog for a short time now, but your posts are truly inspiring. Keep it up! Happy New Year!

That was an even awesomer post than ever!Totally relate! Thanks for being so open, helps us all realize we are notThe only ones who feel this way and its ok and we can work on it together!2013-here we come!Tracy

What a great post. I feel pretty stinkin inspired! After reading I sat here for a moment really reflecting on me, my family, the past year and I think I've come up with a word...balance....(oh my word I have a word!). I think it really sums up everything that I can think of that I'd like to work on and be. I need to be more balanced in the positive and constructive things I choose to say to my boys (so hard when they're naughty), in what and how much I eat...I am REALLY hoping at this point you didn't see me practically licking my plate clean at Red Robin last night whaaaaa. Also with exercise, which for me mostly helps keep the blues away. I want to not bolt out of the gate but keep going so as not to burn out (hello Ecclesiastes 9:11 or Mosiah 4:27). I want to be more balanced with all areas of life be it church, personal or physical. The time I spend with friends, family, on the computer, decorating, sleeping. Oh I am just so excited! =D Now where does one make one of those fabulous bracelets already??? LOL

Boy, can I relate to this post. I have very few female friends because there's usually too much drama and B.S. But it's probably also because I've always been a little intimidated/insecure as well. Thanks for your honesty.

I keep reading my own thoughts in the comments already posted. You are super motivational for me, I love coming here and reading all of your positive words. Wanted to thank you for being an inspiration. I'm going to "borrow" your awesomer idea because its just that great!

Side note: I'm in LOVE with your phone case/wrist chain thingy. Can I steal that idea from you as well? Do tell, where'd you find it :)

Thank you for this most awesome blog ever!! I completely agree with you on every point and I love your word:0) Mine is passionate, I want to be more passionate in any and everything I do!! I love your bracelets by the way, way cool!!

I feel like we are the same person!! I, too, have always had mostly dude friends. Mainly due to "mean girls" who I thought were my friends growing up. I did learn something from those experiences, and that is gossip is absolutely evil. I live by this Eleanor Roosevelt quote : "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I Love it and live it :) I was also sort of raised to apologize for things I'm good at... I know my parents didn't mean for it to affect me negatively, but my go to is usually self deprecating humor lol I just need to remember not to let that creep into my work life. I know I'm good at that :) Thank you for this post, definitely an eye opener for me as a Military Wife who is forced to try and make friends every year and a half or so. Instead of avoiding it completely, I'll just start seeking out the right ones :) ps: I've been following your weight loss blogs, incredibly inspiring! And I'm not sure it's fair to look as pretty as you do after working out :)

Holy crap monkeys...I seriously could have written this post. Girls have always been an overwhelming thing to me....they can be mean. I love every woman in that picture but they scare the shite out of me because they are all so AWESOME that I think, how in the world could they ever like ME?? Amazing, every single one of them and you!! Women are SCARY, scary, scary if you find the wrong ones. If you find the right ones they will make you feel like a million bucks and those girls up there....well they will do it for you every.time. The only reason I have the guts to do what I do is because I have amazing friends who encourage me to DREAM BIG and just do it!! It's taken until I was 39 years old to finally find a group of ladies that I love unconditionally and that love me back the same so good for you...you're only 30 and you figured it out! My word this year is ACHIEVE and I'm on my way...and you are going to be part of the first big thing I'm gonna do!:) woohoo!!

I'm totally channeling friends here and dating myself, but I can totally hear Chandler Bing saying "Could you BE any awesomer?!) Love it. Great post by a great gal - I thoroughly enjoy reading all of your posts and this was no exception...

What a wonderful post!! I'd be totally lost without the amazing friendships I've found in the beautiful women in my life. My word for this year is "deliberate" ...I want to be more deliberate in my role as a wife, mother, friend, and more deliberate in my church callings, in household duties, our finances. Pretty much don't want to just fly by the seat of my pants anymore!!! :) Happy New Year! Way to be awesomer

I think just saying those words aloud about your insecurities means you are halfway there to overcoming them. I'm so glad you are on your way to opening yourself up because having close girlfriends are such a gift to yourself. "Pizazz" is my word. A couple of years ago my mother told me I lost a little of my pizazz that I had when I was younger. The kids beat it out of me, lol. As they've gotten older I've concentrated a little more on myself, and just felt more confident and happier because of it. The other day someone told me I had a lot of pizazz. I couldn't believe he said that word! I'm determined to gain back all of my pizazz, plus more!

Shelley! I love this and totally believe that you hit it right on the head! I truly believe you attract people when we are confident in ourselves. I think ALL women struggle with this. I love your list and I will be working on making a more beautiful me (inside and out) but my word for the year is CELEBRATE! This year our family is going to be going through a lot of changes. Being a busy mom I sometimes get caught up in the every day survival mode and don't stop to REALLY enjoy it. I've decide that this year I am going to CELEBRATE the small moments!

I love that you made a list and I love even more that your hubby encouraged you to do so! and you are so right! women DO need to be around others who are positive and into building them up and not tearing each other down for whatever reason. thats something I need to work on myself. And AWESOMER......enough said. I think that's a perfect word for the year! Still working on mine....

I tried to post yesterday, but it hasn't shown up, not sure what happened! Just wanted to say - I love this post, and you are such an inspiration. I've been pondering on my word for 2013 and I think I've settled on it: "rise." So I can rise to every occasion, rise above the negativity of both others and myself, help others to do the same and uplift others as much as I can. I also want to raise up my talents and my attitude and the way I see myself - I deserve better! And I can do better. Happy New Year to you!

Oh sister, your feelings are equally shared. Four years ago my little family and I moved from Utah. It was very difficult and I missed everyone but I quickly came to the realization that I was pretty pathetic. My eyes were opened and I learned that my friends didn't have to look like me or act like me. They didn't have to be in the same stage of life as me. They didn't even have to share the same beliefs as me. I learned that I could be friends with people different than me. And although I am often attracted to someone that is "like me" I've learned that I would rather be friends with someone different than me. I hope that doesn't sound shallow. In Oregon I gained some REAL friends, eternal friends. I love those ladies dearly. They were 10-18 years older than me but accepted me with all of my strengths and weaknesses. Oh how I miss them. We recently moved back to Utah, and the return has been far more difficult. I thought I would enjoy being close to old friends but I am different and I like the new me. The better me more comfortable with me, me.:) Sooo this year I want just be ME, an "awesomer" me. I will achieve that through knowledge. Knowledge of the scriptures and Christ, that is how I can become the best me and He is my truest friend. Good luck to you this year! If you ever want to hit up some chips and salsa I'm just around the corner!(Lehi)

P.S. When I first moved back to Utah I hated the feeling I got when I went to Target and wasn't dressed from head to toe. I'm good with it now...here's to hairy legs and greased back ponytails!!!

I love this!!!! I wish you lived in Salem, Oregon because we would be fast friends!!! I stumbled on your Instagram through a friend and have now linked up with your blog and completely relate to this post! Thanks for all your cute and creative ideas! Happy Awesomer New Year!!!!

I love this! I wish you lived in Salem, Oregon because I know we would be fast friends! I stumbled onto your Instagram through a friends and have now linked up with your blog. Thank you for all your energy and creativity! Have an Awesomer New Year!!!

I love this!!!! I wish you lived in Salem, Oregon because we would be fast friends!!! I stumbled on your Instagram through a friend and have now linked up with your blog and completely relate to this post! Thanks for all your cute and creative ideas! Happy Awesomer New Year!!!!

Very inspiring post. I'm working on starting my own blog, and yours has really been one that I can personally relate to. I love how personal you get and how honest you are. My 2013 word: PERSEVERANCE. When things get hard, I tend to pull back, but this year I'm facing them head on! Thanks for writing what you do in the way that you do..looking forward to the next post.

Thank you for being transparent. In a previous response to a comment, you mentioned that if you are on the fence about something, take the risk. That's what I need to do. There have been many times where I think I want to do something or unsure about it and I'll initially "cast my net" to see the interest level. Then, when I get a bite, I get nervous and start back tracking and I ultimately let go of the net and leave it out there.

2013 is about me! I need some mental surgery, fix my ugly thinking habits, stop being intimidated by the women who I want to be like, and find the things I enjoy! I'm going to discover myself! I guess that's my word - DISCOVER!

Thank you for being transparent. In a previous response to a comment, you mentioned that if you are on the fence about something, take the risk. That's what I need to do. There have been many times where I think I want to do something or unsure about it and I'll initially "cast my net" to see the interest level. Then, when I get a bite, I get nervous and start back tracking and I ultimately let go of the net and leave it out there.

2013 is about me! I need some mental surgery, fix my ugly thinking habits, stop being intimidated by the women who I want to be like, and find the things I enjoy! I'm going to discover myself! I guess that's my word - DISCOVER!

Hi Shelly!!I remember reading your post last on your word of the year and thought that was an awesome idea. I think this year's word is a great pick and look forward to reading all the more awesomer things you accomplish this year. After much thought about last year and not being happy with a lot of things, I decided that it is in my power to CHANGE things. So, I've decided that this year, my word wil be CHANGE! I'm excited about my goals that's gonna help me make it a year of CHANGE. Wohoo!!

Hi there! I have had your blog on my sidebar and have loved checking in reading your posts and being inspired by your beautiful home! What an honest post, thank you for sharing it, I can relate on so many levels:). You have achieved so much in the last year, what an accomplishment! Happy New Year, Jen

Hi! I stumbled on your blog when I searched for word-of-the-year. Like a lot of others, I totally related to your post. I too have always had more guy friends and have done a lot of self-sabotaging when it comes to female friendships due to my own insecurities. I'm definitely working on that, along with finding the *right* friendships, because honestly having the wrong friend is worse than not having that friend at all, because it just saps the happy right out of you! Anyway, my word for 2013 is GRACE. It was one of those aha! things where it randomly came to mind and I just knew it was the word. I am not exactly sure why yet, but am very excited about exploring where that will take me both personally and spiritually in this coming year. Thanks for a great post and good luck with being awesomer!

I'm so happy to hear that I'm not the only one having trouble making friends with gals. I'm going to try your list making idea (I mean Carson's idea) and see where it takes me. This is one area of my life that I constantly fret about especially since I'm in my 40s. I'm loving the word Awesomer and am going make use of it!

Embrace it. So I know that it's actually 2 words, but I really want this to be at the front of my mind this year. I am about to turn 30 (yikes!) and I don't want to be one of those people who get get bummed about getting older. I want to embrace turning 30 and get this new decade of mine off to an amazing start. I'm also a single mom and in the past year went from a part-time job that I didn't much care for to a full-time job that I really enjoy, but it's been hard to find the best routine for my son and I. I've always been such a planner/worrier and I've been struggling to find a good balance. I really want to be able to embrace this stage in my life and all the craziness that comes with it. Instead of being so hard on myself I want to embrace the change, situations, opportunities, and challenges that arise and make the best out of all of it. That's my goal. Thank you for being so inspirational. You're completely relatable and have such a positive influence!

I totally feel you and the way you felt about yourself. I have never been one to have self esteem of any sort regardless of my size & I have been many sizes! I also have trouble with friends that are girls. Growing up most of my friends were guys because I have always been sort of a tom boy.....Well, it was classified as a tom boy growing up. Now, I am just a DIY'er that happens to be a woman. I have two words for this year....My words for this year are "Faith & Love". I have never had very much faith in myself or love for myself which I think contributes to my not being able to have the "true" friends that I long for or to be the person I wish to be. I hope to have a better self image, healthier & happier life. I want my 3 boys to be happy and I do not feel like I am setting a very good example on how to have that or how to love yourself. I want to find myself and be the person that God intended me to be. I know she is in this body somewhere.May you have an awesomer year! Thank you for all of your inspiration & honesty!

My word is Happy. I've spent way too much time being unhappy and for no good reason at all. ha! I guess I really think my word should be CONTENT more so than happy. Content means in all things I can roll with life and have real JOY. I stumbled upon your blog after watching Clean Freaks. I actually went looking for your magnet board and found you here. I am glad I did! You are such an encouragement and so real. I love that. Thanks for sharing your life! God is using your journey to spark something deeper in me. Things I didn't even realize I needed to see in myself. For that, I am grateful! Keep on with your awesomer self!!

You are such an inspiration. I'm so grateful that I found your blog. I need to lose a 100 pds. and have been so overwhelmed with this enormous task that I've never known where to start. After reading about your journey, I now understand that it's just a matter of setting small goals and just get going. Thank you for posting about your journey. I am so very grateful. My OLW for this year is FOCUS... For so many years, I've put myself last. It's time to focus on me and making healthy choices, focusing on the positive and just being healthy. I hope that you have an awesomer 2013!

You have a very smart hubby. Kudos to him for being encouraging and challenging you. I love that you are sharing your journey. I see myself in you and seriously need to take that leap for myself. So I really appreciate your sharing your successes and struggles. Inspiring!

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