I realize this may be a controversial topic, so let me preface the post by saying that it's a general question and of course there will be exceptions on both sides.

I've got a toddler boy and an infant girl. Despite efforts towards a relatively neutral upbringing, they're both pretty "typical" of their gender stereotypes. He's active and she is a total drama queen.

Just wondering if other people have had this experience, or any advice on taking the drama level down a notch or two, because I already fear the teen years.

It may not be a gender dynamic as much as it is a result of birth order. I'm not a parent (yet), but from my general observations during years of babysitting, younger children tend to be a bit more dramatic; perhaps they feel they'll get more attention that way?

I'm with lemon - how can an infant be a drama queen? They only cry when they have a legitimate need at that age. Some babies cry more than others, but I'm sure that's not gender related.

And, I agree with some-guy, too. Male and female humans are different, chemically, physically, and emotionally. To suppress or deny it might be the in thing in some whacko circles (have you read the story on the baby named Storm in Canada?), but boys are boys and girls are girls. Girls like girly things, boys like masculine things. The stereotypes arose from that, not the other way around.

When she's older and does actually start to display "drama queen" behavior, however, if that behavior pays off somehow (negative attention, getting what she wants, etc.) she'll keep doing it. If it doesn't, she won't. BUT, that only applies after she's old enough to display manipulative behavior. An infant is not.

I'm not going to argue for or against gender differences, but note that, as Kar mentioned, behavior becomes reinforced by how we respond to it.If you had two boys and the disposition of one (as an infant) was more demanding, he probably wouldn't be labeled a drama queen (or king).More likely you would just think you had children with two different dispositions. It's unknown (with your small sample size!) which differences are attributable to gender and which to the individual.Even if you had a load more kids (to increase your sample size!), you'd have to raise them in a vacuum to determine the real effect of gender, because they are shaped every time we respond to them, and we respond to them differently based upon their gender and our own beliefs about gender.So, for example, if you call a baby a drama queen, and that perception of her spreads to friends, family, and herself, and that character label sticks, then continually as she develops, she will grow to fit the label.I hope this doesn't come off nasty. I have just been thinking about this a lot lately in my own parenting.

I have a toddler girl and an infant boy, and I think my boy is more fussy than my girl was/is. Is that what you mean by dramatic? Like, he likes to have a binky, but then constantly spits it out and you have to keep on putting it back in. LOL. Drama king? Nah... he's just being a baby.

Anyhow, I think it's probably a combination of what the previous posters have said:

1. Baby's disposition2. Birth order3. Your disposition now that you have a baby and a toddler vs. when you just had one child4. Possibly gender

I have b/g twins so I know that boys and girls are different. She'll play with stickers and crayons - but he wants to run around. But they are also different because they are separate people. He's a light sleeper and walked first, she's a much better talker and potty trained in 2 weeks at the age of 26 months. The list goes on. I can also say that my brother has 3 girls and although the same gender - they are all totally different personalities too.I think the important thing is to find out what you mean by "drama" so that part of your question can be addressed.Is your son acting out? DD fussy? What are the problems?

Like others have said, I'd just chalk it up to personality differences. I think she is too young to be a 'drama queen' if she is still an infant. However, sometimes DD pitches a fit when we try to put her in the bath or something else she isn't feeling at the moment - is that what you mean? If so, I just think that is DD trying to exert some independence and willfullness (as much as it drives me nuts).

In regard to birth order, as medford mentions sample size is key...but I have a neice and a nephew that are both first borns that some might definitely call drama queen/kings.