Divorce soars in India's middle class

Divorce rates are soaring among India's newly affluent middle classes, as working women with independent incomes refuse to submit to the traditional ideal of marriage.

Cases in New Delhi have doubled in five years to a projected figure of 8,000 for 2005, with similar rises seen in Calcutta, Bombay and Bangalore.

Most marriages are still arranged by the parents, with the bride and groom meeting on only two or three occasions before the ceremony.

The bride is expected to move into her husband's house where - for the first four or five years at least - the couple get to know each other under guidance of their joint or extended family.

But a new breed of independently-minded women is often not well-adapted to this role.

The virtues of individualism and self-reliance that are prized by employers who are vying for the services of bright young graduates do not sit easily with the accepted role of a Hindu wife.

In Bangalore, India's showcase tech-city, where women work in call centres and as IT managers, the number of divorces tripled between 1988 and 2002.

Opinion is divided over what the phenomenon means: for traditionalists the rising numbers portend the breakdown of society while, for some modernists, they speak of a healthy new empowerment for women.

"The belief that marriage is sacred has disappeared among some of these girls," said Vandana Sharma, the president of the Women's Protection League in New Delhi. Her organisation runs pre-marriage classes to help women adapt. "We try to teach them how to live in their joint families - how to serve their husbands and their family - because we believe this is the most stable environment for newly wedded couples.

"In our experience love marriages encounter far more problems because couples are left to cope alone and cannot rely on the support and moral guidance of their parents."

But many "new women" are not so sure. A survey by India Today magazine was filled with accounts of how previously independent women found themselves virtually imprisoned after marriage.

The Manu Smriti, the ancient Hindu texts which list acceptable codes of behaviour, say that from the day she is married until the day she dies a wife must be "joyous, adept at domestic work, keep her domestic wares clean and be thrifty".

But one recent divorcee, a 26-year-old teacher from Bombay, said she knew on her honeymoon that her marriage was doomed: her husband ordered her to eat her dinner, even though she was not hungry. Another said she was forbidden to wear skirts and was berated if she arrived home late from work.

For Ranjana Kumari, a sociologist and author of Brides are not for Burning, rising divorce rates are an indicator of women's empowerment. "In the past," she said, "women had little or no choice but to stay with their husbands except in instances of extreme abuse or cruelty.

"They had to tolerate it, to learn to live with their men. With economic empowerment, that is no longer so."

The social stigma of divorce has also receded. Gitanath Ganguly, a broadcaster and chairman of the West Bengal legal aid service, recalled making a television programme on divorce in 1976.

"In those days if a woman got divorced her family would hide her in a separate room, even from her uncles and aunts because of the shame it brought on the family. Attitudes have totally changed."