Uncategorized

I’ll admit it; I’m a sucker for reality television. There’s just something about sitting in my living room watching you in your living room that is entertaining! Believe it or not, my wife and I were recently featured on a reality TV show where viewers watched us buy a house. Spoiler alert: we chose the third one. Who knew that something as mundane as house hunting could create television that millions would watch every week?

Currently, my favorite reality show is “Extreme Cheapskates.” This show takes something as simple as “trying to save some money” and finds the most outrageous examples to put on TV. Viewers tune in to watch families ration their food and toilet paper and even mix one part juice to five parts water so things will go further. One mom even went so far as to count out the cereal for her toddler son: “We’re going to give you fourteen,” she said as she counted out 14 Cheerios. She gently reminded him as he hungrily gobbled up his meager pile, “And remember, you need to eat all your Cheerios, or next time you only get twelve.”

While counting Cheerios and sheets of toilet paper may sound extreme, there is something respectable to most Americans about trying to save a buck or two. It feels responsible. It feels successful. It also feels like what most churches try to do with their young adult ministry. Churches often look for something that’s quick, that’s cheap and that will give them the most bang for their buck.

The struggle to reach 18-30 year olds is not unique to your church. Churches everywhere are having these conversations at some level of leadership and even the churches that look like they are succeeding would claim to be “still figuring it out.” At some point churches just start trying ideas hoping something will work, like throwing darts at a wall and then painting dartboards around them. One of the most common darts thrown is this one: “let’s get the youth worker to do it.”

More often than not, the easiest and least thoughtful method of ministering to Millennials is to walk down the hall, find the youth director’s office and add another title to that nameplate: “Director of Youth AND Young Adults.” It’s also a big mistake.

BOTTOMS UP

Let’s be honest, starting with the youth ministry director doesn’t seem like a bad idea. After all, they might have already graduated a few classes of high school students, in addition to likely being a “young person” themselves. They might even hold the record having the most relationships with anyone under the age of thirty in your congregation. It makes sense that we would engage this person in the mission to Millennials.

A local youth worker named Jesse called me up to have coffee a few weeks ago. His church had decided it was time to do something to reach young adults so they had taken the very common next step of asking the youth worker to start a college ministry. Jesse bought me a cup of coffee and asked me as many questions as he could about how to pull this off.

Now Jesse seems to me like a pretty talented guy. He’s been in youth ministry for a few years. He plays guitar in his own band. His marriage is about a year old, and he has plenty of relationships with other young people just like him. He has all the qualifications almost any church would look for in a person they want to head up such a task of reaching young adults.

But I believe that Jesse is destined to fail at this task.

Here’s why…

It’s not because he is a bad guy. It’s not because he doesn’t have the skills. It’s not because he doesn’t care. It’s because the approach his church is taking is fundamentally flawed from the start.

First, it’s tough to succeed as an afterthought. The Millennial generation is the largest single generation in the history of the planet, and our priorities seem drastically misaligned if we think we can be effective with such a massive group of people when we are unwilling to intentionally resource them. Making Millennials another plate for the youth director to keep spinning is a quick way to ensure lots of frustration and little reward. It’s really the choice to say “we hope this works . . . but we don’t really care.”

Like trying to stay warm under a 4-foot by 4-foot blanket, under-resourced ministries often struggle to maintain success longer than six months to a year. We might respect people who are thrifty, but reaching Millennials is going to require more intentional resourcing if we are to succeed. With all of the opportunity the Millennials bring to the church, it almost seems insulting to design ministry to them “on the cheap.” They deserve more than becoming a caveat to the youth ministry.

The second problem is that youth directors aren’t equipped to do what we really need them to do. They are busy doing something else… working with middle and high school students. It’s perfectly normal for a successful youth worker to do what they do best when handed the task of reaching Millennials and simply copy the style of ministry we used with high school students.

Ministry to young adults is holistically different from youth ministry. Youth ministry aims to train and equip teens for life as mature Christian adults. That same purpose, copied and carried over to ministry with young adults, brings dangerous results. With this viewpoint, the focus will never be on integrating Millennials into the adult life and leadership of the church.

As a result, youth ministers often end up creating an alternative universe for young adults that continues to offer age-segregated ministry all the while keeping them in a “sub-adult” category- never allowing them to “graduate” into the church as a whole. This approach has the potential to alienate young adults from the church body as a whole until they marry, have children, establish a career and finally become “real church members.” It’s debilitating to the maturation process of young adults and for the church as a whole.

George Barna gives us some discouraging statistics around this reality:

The most potent data regarding disengagement is that a majority of twentysomethings – 61% of today’s young adults – had been churched at one time during their teen years but they are now spiritually disengaged (i.e., not actively attending church, reading the Bible, or praying).

This method of extending the youth ministry ensures we will keep using the wrong approach with Millennials. Rather than leverage the wonder and mystery of this generation and bring their voice to the table, we box it up and place these young adults on hold asking the youth minister to corral them and try to keep them entertained – much like we once did with our teenagers.

PASSING THE BATON

If you watched the 2012 summer Olympics in London, you saw a new world record set in the 4×100 meter relay set by the Jamaican sprinters. In a race that has historically been dominated by Americans, a strong team of record-setting sprinters from Jamaica held off the US team and dominated in the last leg of the race for the gold medal.

In a race that included four men on the team and lasted only 36.84 seconds, the need for precision was intense. Without a doubt, the reason this team could post that time and win the gold medal came down to the hand-offs. Every single hand-off was precise, on target, with no time or energy wasted. When elite relay teams manage a race with three perfect hand-offs, they’ve got a chance at gold.

As we look at engaging Millennials into the life and leadership of our congregations, the hand-offs our churches make are extremely important too.

If we can manage a good hand-off from childhood to middle school and middle school to high school, we have a better chance of success.

If we can manage a better hand-off from student ministry into college and young adulthood, our churches have a stronger opportunity to grow the kingdom.

And if our churches can navigate a smooth transition of the 18-30 year old generation into the overall life of a church, we might find our older generations crossing the finish line with their own faith having successfully passed the baton to others along the way.

But in order to do that, we have to move the baton through each exchange zone. You’ll never see the number three runner continue to race to the finish line himself. You’ll never see anyone simply extend their own leg of the race because they don’t have a strong runner in the next section. The baton has to make it all the way through each leg.

Instead of trying to figure out why we are dropping the baton, churches have chosen to extend the current leg of the race. Rather than think intentionally about how Millennials cross the finish line, we’re spending more time extending youth ministry.

Youth ministry can’t be our model for young adult ministry. Youth Directors can’t be our knee-jerk solution to providing leadership for college ministry. It’s the wrong model, it’s the wrong resourcing and it sends the wrong message. Millennials need to be valued, they need an intentional strategy and they need to be engaged from the top-down in our churches. Approaching them as an add-on or with by throwing darts at the non-existent target is a strategy that ensures Millennials will never engage at your church.

If you have never thought about your nursery being a ministry, I hope these few thoughts will change your mind! Your nursery workers may be the first contact parents (visitors) have with the church and their impressions are important. Parents want to know/feel that their most precious child will be safe and in the hands of loving and caring individuals.

Have they been there for a long time? Celebrate that fact. (One congregation I worked in had nursery workers who were working on their 2nd and 3rd generation of babies.)

Identify your workers by name on the nursery door and make sure the workers are also wearing a nametag?

2. How are parents met when they come into the nursery?

Do nursery workers go and greet them at the door?

Are the parents cheerfully met?

Is appropriate in-take information taken on the child?

Are diaper bags marked?

Is a nametag placed on the child?

3. Nursery space itself – is the room clean?

Is it well lit?

Are all shelves dusted and the floor clean?

Are age appropriate toys provided?

Is there music playing?

Is the room too crowded with “donations” or stuffed animals?

Are the toys clean? Have an annual inspection of your facility with fresh eyes to help remove any toys that are not appropriate, defective, or has missing parts.

4. What information do you provide back to the parents?

Are information sheets filled out and placed in the diaper bag on how their child was while in their care?

Do you have a nursery pamphlet you can share with them about any schedule in your nursery? Do you provide story and activity time and have handouts on the story schedule? This is also a good place to have brochures or postcards on other up-coming events in the congregation.

5. Physical facility – do your workers know the space and activities of the church?

Be sure your nursery workers know the layout of your facility and that they can direct the parents to the worship space, restrooms, or coffee. Aim for hospitality at its best.

Let’s make sure that this is true for all our nurseries and childcare areas in the church!

It’s summer planning time! And for many youth ministries that means summer mission trips. Have you ever really asked yourself (or your congregation) why you offer service projects and/or mission trips to your youth? Why are service projects and mission trips so important to you and your ministry?

“It’s a great way for our youth to serve those in need.”“It’s a transformational experience for our youth and leaders.”“We want our youth to see poverty and truly recognize how blessed they are.”“Mission trips are a spiritual high point for our kids.” “Mission trips are a great way for our youth to interact with people from other cultures.” “We really bond as a group when we’re together serving.”“To those whom much is given, much is expected.”“To love is to serve.”“Jesus said to care for the poor and hurting.”

Sound familiar? These are the answers I typically hear when I ask youth directors that question.

Here’s another question: What is poverty?

Think for a minute of some words or phrases that you would use to describe poverty…

“Not having the ability to take care of oneself”“Lacking resources, money, education, health care, a job”“Poor or destitute”“Basic needs not met”

Do any of these phrases sound like what you were thinking?

I know the first time I really thought about the meaning of poverty I had a similar response.

In the book When Helping Hurts, authors Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert discuss the stark differences in the definitions of poverty they have heard and read from middle-to-upper class (predominantly Caucasian) North American churches vs. the voices of those struggling with poverty in low-income countries and settings:

While poor people mention having a lack of material things, they tend to describe their condition in far more psychological and social terms than our North American audiences. Poor people typically talk in terms of shame, inferiority, powerlessness, humiliation, fear, hopelessness, depression, social isolation, and voicelessness.

…many observers have noted similar features of poverty in the North American context.

Without even realizing it, we (middle-to-upper class North Americans) tend to assume things about people in poverty, and these assumptions then influence how we serve them. If we assume that the biggest problem is lack of material things like food, clothes, money, etc. then we assume the solution is to provide those items (through clothing drives, food pantries, free medical clinics, etc.). If we think that someone struggling with poverty needs a new roof, then we assume the solution is to get them a new roof.

Have we completely missed the mark? What if the biggest problems aren’t the material things? How do we address poverty that is relational and spiritual too? What would missions look like if we thought about it through the lens of those struggling with poverty?

Here are two questions to ask yourself regarding your local service projects and/or mission trips: 1) Will this project/trip bring shame to those we are helping? 2) Can we eliminate that shame in the way the trip is set up?

Here’s another hard pill to swallow. When we show up with 20 or 30 youth for one week to do the work, we might actually be making it HARDER for the local community to help themselves. Sometimes those receiving the help don’t want to say no to us. Mission organizations and local communities recognize our “need” to see poverty with our own eyes in order to support them financially.

In his book, Toxic Charity, Robert Lupton says it bluntly, “Service projects and mission trips do not affect lasting change. Within six to eight weeks after a mission trip, most short-term mission-trippers return to the same assumptions and behaviors they had prior to the trip…Most work done by volunteers could be better done by locals in less time and with better results.”

I’m not saying that we should give up on service projects and mission trips all together. But I am suggesting that we consider creating partnerships with mission organizations or non-profits that continually receive input from those they are serving and have an intentional plan for empowering those in need.

It’s important to recognize that there are three stages of charity (both “When Helping Hurts” and “Toxic Charity” talk about these three stages):

Relief- responding to a crisis or initial need (like destruction from a hurricane or flood)

Rehabilitation (which overlaps with Stage 1)- enabling the local communities to respond to future crises (like education and empowerment programs)

Development (which overlaps with Stage 2)- raising the standard of living and quality of life long-term (like creating jobs, vibrant neighborhoods, community coalitions, food cooperatives, etc.)

Too often our charity gets placed in Stage 1 and those we intend to help never experience a long-term higher quality of life. Poverty alleviation can and will only happen when we recognize the importance of supporting charities focused on Stages 2 and 3, not just Stage 1.

One of my favorite scriptures in the Old Testament is Micah 6:8- “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”

For me, the hardest part of this verse is definitely “to walk humbly with your God.” Walking humbly means I don’t have all the answers, I am not going to save someone, and I am to see the poor through God’s eyes—not my own.

We can do missions differently. Mercy and justice combined. No shame, no humiliation. Long-term involvement and reciprocal relationships where those in need have a voice, where those serving volunteer in ways that empower the poor, where we don’t do for someone what they can do for themselves, and where those being served have the opportunity to serve as well.

Ultimately, youth missions (as well as adult or family missions) are about relationships, especially our relationship with God, but also with each other and with those we are serving.

I definitely don’t have all the answers. But in my partnerships with churches through Ministry Architects, I have learned that a healthy church climate and a strong infrastructure is a recipe for success in any ministry area. If you’d like to continue the conversation, feel free to contact me at [email protected].

Whenever we tell people we are doing another Hatchathon, we get the fun of seeing the same confused expression again!

In this video, Kenda and I sat down to give a very quick explanation of exactly what happens at a Ministry Incubators’ Hatchathon and why you might either want to experience one for yourself or send it to a friend with hair-brained ministry dreams.

LATEST BLOG POST

WANT TO WORK WITH US?

Footer

WHO ARE WE?

Ministry Architects is a highly-skilled team of pastors, teachers, executives, youth workers, children's pastors, writers and professors. We're fanatical about success and we can help your church find clear direction and sustained momentum backed up by properly aligned resources.