To those of you who say that this is all puerile nonsense, I say, "What were you doing when you were 14?" (Unless, of course, you were doing something really cool when you were 14, in which case I would say, "Stop persecuting me", in a whiney voice and run away crying like a girl).

12th November 07

The opening number of Nab Funk's first gig.The tape (a mexican cassette now over 30 years old) was so brittle that it snapped in the middle of this song and I had to stick it back together with sellotape (hence the jump). There is no excuse for the singers appalling timing though (other than the fact that he was shitting himself).

*NEW* 29th January 2008 *NEW*

JESUS FREAK IMITATIONS.*NEW* 7th June 2014 *NEW* Here, for better or worse, is Nab Funk's "studio" album Jesus Freak Imitations. Recorded on one of the early cassette recorders between 1970 and 1972ish (probably) in some really fine accoustics (none of which are evident on the recordings). Credit musy be given to Spock (the first person to ever play me Reggae {or was it Ska}) who I guess gets the title of engineer for pressing the record button and owning the aforementioned cassette deck. He may have been responsible for the weird noises on Synthetic Spitoon (but I have a vague memory that that was someone else).

New - 7th June 2014

New - 7th June 2014

We found ourselves trapped in a small cottage in the countryside with a french exchange student who, importantly, showed us that it was OK to learn to play guitar (he also taught us that it was OK to go up to girls and say, "You want to come in bushes with me?").

New - 7th June 2014

Yes we emulated The Bonzos at every opertunity but you have to remember that this was also the era of Prog Rock. How, you may ask could two spotty adolecents with two ukuleles and an primative casette recorder possibly emulate Genesis?

New - 7th June 2014

By this time I had bought a really crap accoustic guitar (from the very weird Barny's Emporium in Shanklin) and an equally crap Jedson Guitar from the Henwick Hitters, but no amp (hence the very quite and badly played slide guitar).

New - 7th June 2014

Funny story - Nige and I were recording when the aformentioned John Holmsen happened by, wrapped in a towel (he had been having a shower). He ended up joining in, lying on a bed grabbing his cock (through the towel) and screaming, "Well, Well, Well," at the top of his voice - an image that, to this day I am unable to expunge from my memory. After I left school, or possibly after John left the school two "freinds" told me that he had been run over and killed by a taxi in New York. Later with the dawn of the World Wide InterWeb I started to realise that I could probably track down John's family and they might want to hear this recording. I agonised over this for ages. I kept asking myself, "If my son had died young would I want a recording of him lying on a bed grabbing his cock and screaming, "Well, Well, Well," at the top of his voice or would I rather remember him as a well adjusted individual." Eventually, as is often the case, I decided to ignore this conundrum in the hope it would go away, and most of the time it did. Finally, 40 or so years later, I met the "freinds" again at a school reunion and since one of them was also from New York and a freind of the Holmsen family I asked him what I should do about getting in touch with them. "Oh!" he said, "That was just a joke. Didn't we tell you?" John Holmsen was apparently alive and well and living in New York in a tiny flat where he was busy being a theatre critic.

So John, if your'e out there (and you haven't been run over by a taxi in the last few years) this one is for you. And if Mark Laing and Ian Wilson are out there you are a deplorable pair of cunts!

New - 7th June 2014

This is Nab Funk in full band mode. Interestingly I seem to have an amp to go with my crappy guitar but I probably borrowed it. Can somebody PLEASE tell me what this song is called it's been driving me crazy trying to remember.

New - 7th June 2014

This is the last "track" on Nab Funk's "album" and what do you know we've learned to jam! I'm still probably borrowing an amp but Nige had definately bought the sax he is playing. So what do we do next? See above.

ALL OF NAB FUNK'S THIRD, FINAL AND LOUDEST GIG. *NEW* 27th July 2007 *NEW* By this time (1974?) we had given up on playing ukuleles and trombones in public having realised that only rock musicians have groupies. The recording was done on an old cassette player and is full of perculiar stops and starts where the person that was doing the recording (GS Baby) had to guess when the songs were going to start - or thought that the song had finished because the crowd noise was louder than the "music". Nige Smith was supposed to be giving the recorder (GS Baby) cues to let him know when to start the tape but he only does this once before "Somebdy Stole My Motorbike" so most of the other songs have truncated starts, many of them have truncated ends, and in some cases, truncated middles as well. The recording quality is, as usual, appalling and is probably only of interest to people that were there (about 150 blokes and 3 or 4 girls).