Wednesday, February 29, 2012

In this second installment of my “An OnMentoring Conversation
With…” feature I feel honored and deeply grateful to introduce you to the
person who was my very first mentor. Mike is a unique individual I was blessed
with meeting and having as a boss early on in my career when I was certain that
my path was going to be computer programming for the rest of my life. I was
focused, passionate and content on this path. However several months after I
joined his group a crisis arose. Mike was pulled away with greater
responsibilities and could no longer manage our team directly. We suddenly had
a critical need for a new manager and for some reason beyond my comprehension at
the time Mike thought I’d be the best person to take on that challenge.

To say I was hesitant is an understatement. I wanted nothing more
than to sit in my office, rock out with my headphones and code software all
day. As a great mentor will do Mike saw something in me that I didn’t see in
myself. He saw a certain potential, took me under his wing and introduced me to
a whole new world – that of leadership. In this world I could multiply my good
work a thousand fold by eliminating the bottleneck of building things myself
and instead build great things through the power of others.

I’ve said many times on this blog that your manager will rarely
make your best mentor but this is one of the exceptions. Over the course of the
next 6 months Mike showed me the power of mentoring. He helped me transform
from a technical, task-oriented lead into someone folks would naturally and
eagerly follow. And it is directly a result of him and the effect that he had
on me that drives me to illustrate the positive impact of mentoring through my
own mentoring of others, this blog, speaking engagements, etc.

Mike has way too many talents to list here. He is an outstanding
listener, engaging and inspiring public speaker and sincere in every sense of
the word. By way of a bio I offer you this edited ‘official’ version which
tells us what Mike is currently up to:

“Author of the acclaimed book on Internet marketing,Do It Wrong
Quickly, on the heels of the best-sellingSearch Engine
Marketing, Inc., Mike Moran led many initiatives on IBM's Web site for eight
years, including IBM's original search marketing strategy. Mike frequently
keynotes conferences on Internet marketing for marketers, public relations
specialists, market researchers, and technologists, and serves as Chief
Strategist forConverseon,
a leading digital media marketing agency. Prior to joining Converseon, Mike
worked for IBM for 30 years, rising to the level of Distinguished Engineer.”

In addition to being a world-class author, blogger,
speaker, mentor, and Chief Strategist Mike is a formal coach
as well.

Recently I asked Mike if he’d be kind enough to sit down and share
with me his insights into mentoring. Happily he agreed so I can now present an
OnMentoring conversation with…Mike Moran!

OnMentoring: Hi Mike. I’m really
excited to chat with you today about mentoring especially as you were my first
mentor. Thanks so much for making the time.
I wanted to start ‘at the beginning’ of your coaching/mentoring experience
and find out if
you were ever mentored?

When I was in high school my Dad started talking to me about what was going on with
his job. He worked at IBM and was a manger with a large team. He wanted my
advice because he thought I was a smart guy. Funny thing is I learned a lot
from those conversations.

I ended up working at IBM as a 2nd and 3rd shift machine operator.
During that time I started meeting the folks he would talk to me about and then
I started asking him for advice. Simply put, he helped me become an adult. It’s
weird but he ended up becoming my first business mentor. He would talk about
how to carry oneself, relationships and behaviors at the workplace – things
like that.

A problem I had when I started my career out was that I didn’t think people
took me seriously because I was so young. So I would act “confidently” but it
made me look morelike a kid. He gave me great advice to not do that and that
helped me out tremendously. I really had to learn that.

OM: What was the biggest impact a mentor
has had on you?

At a certain point, mid-career I’d say, I was wondering why
despite tons of hard work and plenty of accolades I was unable to achieve
something I had wanted. So I went to one of my mentors with precisely that
question. She was able to make me aware of certain political realities in play
and suggested to me an alternate path to getting there. And it worked! That was tremendously beneficial and impactful to me.

OM: Great mentors do enlighten us to
equally good, sometimes better, alternate paths. So when and how did you get
into mentoring?

I think I’ve been doing it my whole life. In school I was always
the “go to” guy. I would always want to help people. People can just tell I
like to help people because I really enjoy it and they seem to get a lot out of
it. Once people start asking me stuff and discover that I give them useful info
they just keep coming back.

OM: Is there one question you make sure
to ask your mentees?

Usually when someone is talking to me it’s because they are
unhappy or disappointed about where there career is at that point. They are
usually very good at identifying when that point arrives. But they are not very
good about identifying what aspects they like and don’t like about their
current job. They usually say things like I want more money or advancement or
something along those lines. They think very narrowly.

I try to get them to focus on how they feel during their various work activities. What are they doing when
they feel they are getting energized and what are they doing when they feel depleted?
Unfortunately in the business world we’re not taught to be introspective.
Everybody thinks there is “a path”.

OM: Not to interrupt but
by “a path” you mean: first I’m a worker bee then I’m supposed to get promoted
to manage the team then after a few more years I have to become a Vice President,
etc?

Yes, exactly but in reality that’s not the case at all! Everybody
is on autopilot and I try to get them OUT of autopilot. Especially today when
you can more easily roll your own job. I want to get people to focus on what
makes them happy and find ways to do those activities in their career. And
almost always when you are happy at what you’re doing the advancement and the
money comes anyway.

OM: How has social media affected your
mentoring?

Given my current work in internet marketing it’s like asking a
fish “how’s the water?”

Skype extends my reach. People also find me much more easily
because of social media. I teach classes on social media and students in those
approach me. Don’t know if that counts.

Fundamentally I don’t think it has really changed anything.

OM: What advice would you give to a
prospective or current mentor?

It goes back to the question I ask everybody: “how do feel when
you’re doing it [mentoring]? What is the allure?” If it excites them, if it’s
the highlight of their day then I say you should go for it. I really like it
and spend lots of time doing it. I just had a call from someone out of work.
That’s a difficult conversation given these economic times but she seemed to
think I helped her a lot and it made it a great day no matter what else was
going on. That’s what I love about it.

OM: What advice would you give to a
prospective or current mentee?

I don’t know too many people who couldn’t be helped by a mentor.
There’s a set of people who aren’t being mentored who fall into 2 categories:
1. those that aren’t self aware; 2. and those that lack the confidence in
themselves to ask for help or to admit that they don’t have all the answers.

Then there’s another more general class of people who just aren’t comfortable asking
anyone for help for any reason. I’m in that camp actually. So I try to find a
way to help the person I’m about to approach first. Even if you can’t actually help
the person you’re about to approach the fact that you’re trying to and making
the effort to do so is quite meaningful. That would be my advice to those out
there trying to figure out a way to ask someone to be their mentor.

OM: That is fantastic
advice.

Thanks. It’s funny while I’d be happy to help anyone that would approach
me I actually don’t feel like or expect others to feel the same way. I’d go out
and do my homework on the folks I’d like to approach and see if I could help
them. So I started by helping others and it turned out these folks ended up
talking to me!

If you are committed to improving
yourself you limit yourself if you only depend on yourself. At some point
you need to reach out to others who can grow you. Whatever the discomfort that’s holding you back as a prospective mentee you
have to find a way around it because you’ll limit yourself otherwise.

OM: Anything else you wish
I would have asked you about?

I think we’ve talked about a lot today. One of the things I tell
people up front: the people who go out of their way who help me get a lot more
of my attention than people who don’t. There are a bunch of people who only
reach out to me when they’re looking for a new job and I’ll help them but not
as much as folks who go out of their way to help me and stay in touch
consistently. I don’t mind saying that there’s this exchange. At some point
there just isn’t enough time to satisfy every request.

OM: Your answer reminds me
of my first OnMentoring interview where one of the insights shared was
mentoring is a two way street and both sides have to offer something for the
relationship to work. I wholeheartedly agree.

Thanks so much Mike for this
great conversation! I’m really honored to have you share your thoughts and
insights on mentoring with me and our readers.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Several months ago I published a post entitled "The Different an 'If' Makes". Its genesis came from a misquote on the new Martin Luther King memorial in Washington D.C. In this post I talked about how critical and at the same time how difficult precise communication can be for all of us. The MLK Memorial team had a decade to plan and still a mistake in transcribing Martin Luther King's words made it to the unveiling.

Last month, just before a day commemorating Martin Luther King, I was very pleased to read the news that this quote would be fixed:

This is a great (albeit unfortunate) example of how better communication up front could have saved many people lots of pain, energy and money.

As an aside, there is a well-known expression in English about something being "etched in stone". In other words once something is "etched in stone" it cannot change. But here again is a great story that even when something is "etched in stone" it can still change!

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