What do you mean you don’t like Hugh Grant? No one? Oh. More for me then 😉

Fantasies. We all have them, even though you may not realise. Those little things your subconscious is craving for that sneak up on you in your dreams, or when your mind wanders. Something that turns you on that you didn’t think would. That little bit of curiosity.

You don’t have to act out your fantasies, sometimes the reality is not as good as the dream. But you could always try again. Practice makes perfect, but curiosity killed the cat. You don’t want to ruin the idyllic fantasy in your head you’ve been getting off to for years, but you never know, maybe the reality could be even better.

Those things you want to try, experiment, experience.

Go for it. If ones not any good, I’m sure you have plenty others.
Suggest something new to your partner. I dare you!
Then tell me about how it goes.

I’ve always liked the idea of sex in an office. You know the whole sweeping the paper off the desk scene.
But damn, mood killer when you have to organize it all back on the desk afterwards. They don’t show you that part in the film do they?

Sex in a posh hotel. There’s something sexy about escorts, and this was about as close as I was to it after having an open bar tab all night, dinner, champagne and the security take me up to the room. Not sure I can really count 30 seconds as sex though!

The fabulous LSAM has created a Bucket List Challenge
Join in if you’re brave enough!

Have you ever had a fantasy come to life? Or which ones would you love to try?

Domination.. is it just me who is now imagining a woman covered head to toe in black PVC, stiletto boots, flogger in hand and a dog collar?

Realistically.. I’m not that hardcore yet 😉

I’m not one who likes to be in control when it comes to this. Well, not in the way you think.

I’m all up for the flogger, handcuffs, blindfolds and for someone to take charge.
The confidence is what makes it sexy. The stern voice. The charge.

All you have to do is comply.. or be a bit naughty. But that’s taking the control back, asking to be punished.

You may think domination is about one person being the Dom and the other Submissive. But really, it’s a mix of both. You’re both getting a thrill out of it. You’re both getting what you want.
The dominant one is having no more pleasure than the submissive, although it may appear that way.

Are you confused yet? The sexy Luke Stott wrote me a fabulous post about Control which explains it in a hilarious way.

If you are gonna go dominatrix on someones ass.. You should probably warn them in advance incase they get confused.

Who wears the trousers in your relationship… or rather, who’s holding the whip?

Are you a cunnilinguist? Try saying that when drunk 😉 Honestly, I can’t even say it sober!

You all know what that is right? I see you all nodding, but some of you are lying right? So in terms you’ll understand… Eating pussy!

Oh, well, maybe that wasn’t quite clear enough for some.

The word Cunnilingus is of Latin origin (if we learned things like this is Latin I would have paid more attention!) cunnus, meaning vulva, and lingua meaning tongue.

I must admit, I’ve never muff dived. I wonder how many bottles of wine it would take for that.. maybe one day I’ll find out.

However I have been on the recieving end plenty. The thing that gets me about this, is that it just sounds like a cat lapping up milk. It’s such a distracting sound!

I know a few of my friends have mixed views on this. They think going down on a girl is a disgusting idea, they’ve never tried it, they don’t know what they’re missing! You’ve got to give to receive, so unless they want their cocks biting they better sort out their attitude.

The one tip I have: If the girls legs start shaking – don’t stop what you’re doing!

So what do you think, dive in or run away?

There’s actually a toy that can simulate cunnilingus and it’s the Lelo Ora.

Blowjobs of course, don’t really include much blowing. So for some completely random reason, I know that blow jobs were originally called below jobs, and then it got shortened to blowjobs.
I can’t tell you how I know this, I just do. I would google it to prove it, but my internets not working right now. So you’ll just have to trust me 😉

I’m apparently amazing at blowjobs. Despite having a ridiculously small mouth 😮
It’s really not that difficult to suck and lick a mans cock.

Although, apparently for some it is. I love hearing bad blowjob experiences. That’s cruel right? Those who bite, scratch their teeth down the cock, deep throat and throw up or put their jaw out (sorry hurt or heal,couldn’t resist mentioning that one!)

The best thing about giving a blow job, apart from hearing men moaning in pleasure and being able to tease them by stopping just as they’re about to cum, is strawberry lube. Tastes like the strawberry sauce you put on ice cream. Yummy. Although, I wouldn’t advise to put ice cream on their cock. It might go into hiding!

Oh, I also discovered don’t give a blowjob with champagne in your mouth. I heard the bubbles made it tingly so thought I’d give it a try. Instead it feels like burning. Oops! It’s the thought that counts 😉

Personally, I’m still not convinced about anal. I have to be really really turned on for it. Which, with the whole depression lurking, it’s hard enough to try and orgasm without even thinking about that!

But most guys love anal, and still keep away from the whole ‘I’m not gay’ aspect. Yet at the suggestion of pegging, they soon back down 😉
So you can do it to me, but I can’t do it to you? Oh well where’s the fun in that.

Key to good anal. Lube. Loads and loads of lube. And them some more for good measure.

Some people keep blowjobs for special occasions, but for me, they’re just a warm up. Anal is for birthdays.. or when I’ve had far too much wine.

I love dressing up, but I’ll be honest, role-play is not one of my strong points. It makes me feel like a bit of an idiot. However whether you’re dressing up for fantasy purposes or for halloween, there are sexy fancy dress outfits to suit your every need. Feeling more kinky? They even have a gimp suit.

I chose the playboy nurse fancy dress outfit. I thought I’d look after the man when he’s feeling a bit poorly.

The Playboy Nurse Fancy Dress outfit consists of four pieces: a headpiece, stethoscope, frilly skirt and zip up top.

Headpiece:

The headpiece has the playboy logo in small red diamantes gaining attention in the centre. It is made up of a small plastic white headband and white ‘new material’ with a red edging. It sits comfortably on my head, however comes out the packet a little screwed up so could do with an iron. I prefer the outfit without this as it makes it look a little tacky.

Stethoscope:

The stethoscope looks like a cheap children’s toy with a red sparkly playboy bunny stuck to the front which fell off as soon as I took it out of the packet. A nice addition to the costume if you wanted to fulfil the whole role. To be honest, this is more likely to end up in the bin.

Skirt:

I really like the skirt. It has just the right length to it and is made of a 90% polyester material with 10% spandex and has good stitching. It adds a bit more oomph and playfulness compared to pencil skirt nurse versions. The skirt is hand wash cold only.

Zip Up Top:

The design of the top is great. It zips up the middle which adds sexiness as you can teasingly reveal your assets by lowering the zip. It keeps a shirt design feel as it has a collar and short sleeves with red cuffs. There were quite a few loose threads which needed snipping off. The playboy logo is more subtly placed on the lower right hip and leads down to the integrated suspenders. I am not that keen on the clasps used as they seem rather rough for stockings and are more like suspender belts for your trousers. I paired my outfit with red fishnet stockings and patent red heels.

Overall

Overall it is an okay outfit which fit me very well, even though I prefer it without the added extras. More attention needs to be paid to the smaller details such as loose threads and the plastic playboy falling off the stethoscope.

There are some other great collections available. I love the Moulin Rouge outfits, anyone got an excuse for a party?

Penis. Cock. Willy. One eyed snake. Nob. Member. Whatever you want to call it, we all know you mean that thing between a man’s legs.

We’ve all seen Pussy Pride, but what about the penises?
Do we expect men with their big ego’s to be proud of their manhood or are they also riddled with insecurities? Let’s share some pride this way too.

There are so many concerns which may run through a man’s mind. Is it a small penis? Does it have enough girth? Is it long enough? Is it too veiny? Grower not a shower? Will anyone want to have sex with me? Will they laugh?

The average penis size is always a bit of a guesstimate. Generally when left to men to measure they will perhaps lie, as a larger penis is seen as more desirable in modern society, or measure it wrong. Where are you meant to measure from below or above, flaccid or hard? Does circumcision make much of a difference in size?

Honestly, I have no idea how big an inch is. You could tell me anything and I’d probably take your word for it. All I know is whether it feels good or not.

When aroused a woman’s vagina will stretch to around 4 inches, so even a small penis is likely to fill it. If your erect penis is bigger then this, the vagina will stretch to accommodate it.

Personally I don’t like massive cocks. Sometimes just looking at them makes my vagina let out a little cry. They’re much harder to give a blow job to as well. I gag enough trying to deep throat an ‘average’ penis, massive cocks do not stand a chance. I’ve tried.

All men see in porn though is large cocks; big and girthy. This is what is portrayed in most everyday porn.
I’ve looked on a few porn sites and there’s categories for ‘big dick’, ‘big tits’, ‘small tits’, but I have only found one which tags small cocks.
These video’s are humiliation porn. This is a kink. Mostly female dominance over men with small cocks, usually including two or three women.
The men are obviously getting off on the attention but the fact that it’s humiliation irks me a bit. For those with small penises who are self conscious, this kind of porn would be rather hurtful. Especially in the real world where the chances of three horny women coming to suck you off is unlikely.

In reality small cocks are always ridiculed and joked about, to have a small cock is somewhat of an insult. It is common amongst young people to joke about this. If you tell men with average sized cocks enough times that they’re small, they will unfortunately get into their heads.
It’s immature and bullying. Next time you tease someone about it think about what effect you’re really having.A guy once told me I had a KFC bucket vagina in jest, I slapped him so hard it made his lip bleed. Over reaction? Slightly, considering he hadn’t seen my vagina.

Unlike woman who can get a boob job or vaginoplasty, there isn’t really much a man can do about a small willy. All the procedures are costly and can be dangerous although they cannot guarantee an actual good end result.

Your penis is part of you, even if you have a small penis it still works. What more could you want? People have most likely slept with you before and they will again and hopefully it was because they actually liked you as a person rather than just the size of your cock.

So the solution? Learn to love your penis!… or, failing that, get into the porn industry.

The lovely John D brought to my attention a radio chat about ‘Relationship references’. The idea is that after a relationship, your ex writes you a recommendation.
Well, you can hope for a recommendation depending on how bad the split up was! Sometimes a ‘decline to comment’ may be more polite. I always think this is a fantastic and awful idea both at once.

Ideally you would want a good recommendation. Would you trust your ex to say nice things about you? This depends I guess on how bad the split was and the feelings involved. A long term relationship reference will be different to a short fling. The one who’s heart you broke? Will they get over being bitter and write something nice, or write something mean in the hope you never date again?

The flaw in this first of all is, would you really want to know all the good and bad points to a person straight up? Where’s the mystery and fun in finding out their little quirks? Also what irks one person, another may love. So if an ex is complimenting your ability to down 5 pints, a potential boyfriend may not be so impressed.

I actually have a reference written by an ex from when I was dating him at the time. Not a ‘relationship reference’ as such, I was a waitress and he was my manager. It says I was ‘loved and adored by clients’, have a ‘quirky sense of humour’ and was ‘charming’.
You need to be charming when you regularly get everything wrong and tip chips onto peoples laps! He might not have such nice things to say after I finished him, fled to London and cut all contact though.

I was now slightly intrigued as to what other ex’s of mine would say.
So I asked them to write me a ‘Relationship Reference’. Surprisingly they happily obliged!

“Relationship Reference for Vikki:
“During the approximately 6 months that I dated Vikki, I
found her to be heartfelt, loving, caring and totally genuine.
Having said that she was also a challenging and complex individual.
Without doubt Vikki was an exceptional lover; I look back
on my time with her as some of the most emotionally intense,
passionate and loving moments of my life. In bed she was beyond
amazing, but a word of caution: highly sexually adventurous so not
for the timid of mind or body. A* recommended.”

I really wasn’t sure what I was expecting to be written, but that really wasn’t it! A* recommended. I feel like that deserves a place on my CV. I’ve never had an A* before!

Vikki is a great lass, kind, caring, and always looks out for everyone. She doesn’t tolerate fools easily (which is a good thing) and she’s always quick witted and there with a joke. She’s exactly what most blokes want from a girlfriend, loves sex (like, LOVES), always tries to make you feel good about yourself, and most important isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re being a nob. Although it didn’t work out for me and her, that was purely because we weren’t right for each other, so whatever fella she ends up with in the end, he’s a lucky man!

Ah yes, if you’re being a nob, you will probably be put in your place. Slightly concerned about the ideas of what ‘most blokes’ want though!

So there you have it. My ex’s were actually rather nice to me. I’m as shocked as you. Do you think yours would be as kind?

Also how far do you go with this, will the next stage be showing your STI results and health assessments?

Would you want to see someone else’s references before dating them? Or do you think looking into past relationships is pointless? After all, each relationship will inevitable be different in every aspect.