— new house shoes for GM Finance. (Crack Puppy thinks they taste way better than rawhide chews).

— flashy $100 doggy door that the Crack Puppy refuses to use, even if chicken treats are involved.

— new box for tax receipts (encouraging Crack Puppy to “free” her favorite stuffed toy from the G.M. Finance’s cardboard box was not, in retrospect, the blog’s best decision)

In addition to being the cutest thing in the known universe, the Crack Puppy is also exposing us to joyful new experiences, i.e. watching wonderful YouTube videos to learn how to reverse:

Lovely Inherited Behaviour 1: Crack Puppy loves rawhide chews. So cute! And there is every indication she will totally eat the blog’s face right off if he tries to take one away.

Lovely Inherited Behaviour 2: Crack Puppy considers her toenails to be more precious than diamonds and crack; does NOT want to part with them; says so in a most definitive chainsaw like manner. And since she can smell the nail clippers from 20 feet away…

Lovely Inherited Behaviour 3: As we near the Moosedawg’s last dance, and he spends more time in the standby mode than the barking mode, fate has gifted us with a sweet fuzzy puppy that can bark at least 17 divisions above her weight. Loud. Plus also? Rapidly. So when a stranger or random air molecule happens by, it’s like having nails shot directly into your head: barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark. Reload Gatling nail gun. BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!

***Soooooo cuuuuuute.

We have to say that YouTube is brilliant on the advice front. This is helping the blog shelve our Moosedawg Training Philosophy in favor of the New Age Girl Puppy Training Philosophy.

Truthfully, the Crack Puppy has brought new life and joy into our empty nest. And from an investment point of view, she is paying huge dividends.
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* Yes, the blog uses Handywipes to clean Crack Puppy’s fuzzy feet every time she goes outside, less she track doodles into the house and onto the bed. Shut up.
** By which we mean, “dammit”.