Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Conundrum

With little effort I can summon compassion for tens, even hundreds of thousands of people I do not know and will likely never meet, who live in far-off countries I've never been to. Even when they practice religions whose tenets confound me. Even when they hate my country and, by extension, myself. Even when they actively seek to destroy me.

Yet when a neighbor lady in ridiculous platform shoes topples over in the elevator and causes a needless commotion from which I cannot extricate myself for twenty minutes which means I miss my first train which means I miss my second train which means I arrive at work late instead of early as I'd intended which means my entire morning is crap with a side of chaos, I think about my neighbor and instead of feeling compassion I imagine bludgeoning her with one of those damned shoes.

Evidence points to the possibility that you were given my portion of wit, artistic ability, philosophical tendencies and incredible sense of style, along with your own. I'm feeling bereft. Consider which one you'd be willing to surrender.

I'll say what others might only be thinking...we've done the world a diservice by helping the stupid. Darwin was right. Natural Selection should remove these genes from the gene pool! LOL. Compassionate eh?

Question: why was it you could not extricate yourself from the situation for twenty minutes? Had you been crushed by said woman who fell off of her shoes? Or were you providing some sort of assistance? Tninking about beating the crap out of someone with her shoe, while not exactly ideal, is far better than actually beating the woman. Seems to me you probably DID the compassionate thing by holding your tongue and maybe even helping out in some way when it mattered.

Hey, I get bitter when people kill themselves by jumping in front of trains, screwing up my morning commute by hours. (Or die because they ignore crossing gates.) People, if you are going to commit suicide, please, forthe love of god, don't do it during rush hour. Some of us want to get to work before 11.

(I used to try and be sympathetic and all that, but after like the 5th time, I'm just annoyed.)

I've mentally murdered families of four with young children because they couldn't figure out the subway turnstiles or how to get on the bus in an orderly fashion. Mentally I'm the world's deadliest serial killer.

I bought a pair in Paris in 1973 (h/s trip) and they were the first things my parents noticed when I came off the plane - even before welcoming me! Beloved shoes, blue and white with cork platforms. Turned ankles unite! Thanks for the memory, Franklin! "yqpav" - a virus yaks get I think...

My massage therapist just yesterday taught me some helpful strategies for coping with the annoying or stupid or annoyingly stupid crap that happens. Always protect your core....don't face the bad, turn sideways, hold your hands open and over your belly and any sound using the Ohhh, even if whispered helps.

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