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Thursday, March 29, 2018

Although we don't really talk much about it, my doctor knows that I am an HSP, and she respects what that entails. In the course of our conversations, we have gently agreed that "Being an HSP" is akin to what was once upon a time thought of as "being highly strung."

We don't talk much about it, though. It has become "old news."

Instead, we talk about my health. I suffer from hypertension (aka "high blood pressure"), and from years of observation, we know that my primary trigger for "hypertensive events" revolve around stress and anxiety.

Actually, I should phrase that very carefully.

You see, I don't suffer from any kind of "anxiety disorder," I simply suffer from overstimulation, HSP style. I am perfectly capable of going into the world and dealing with "whatever hardships come up," and there are few things I can't handle. My body, however, disagrees.

One of the interesting things we've learned about me is that — absent stress and the need to interface with the world — my blood pressure is actually within the "normal" range.

Yesterday, we had this conversation again, as my vitals were once again elevated. My body simply doesn't like the process of "adulting."

Alas, few of us have the luxury of simply sitting in a lawn chair, watching clouds drift by... while "the stuff of life" takes care of itself.

The Progression of HSP Self-Awareness

After the doctor's visit, I got to thinking about this whole thing called "being an HSP."

It has been 21 years and change since I first bumped into the idea. It seems to me that we go through "stages" of being a Highly Sensitive Person.

At first, it tends to be all shiny, exciting and new; we absorb everything we can read and hear; suddenly it seems like we have a natural and well-fitting explanation for why we are the way we are. Which is a marvelous thing!

Then we go through a period of learning and integrating. This often involves joining groups, going to workshops and doing something akin to "becoming an expert" on the topic, as it relates to ourselves.

Oftentimes, we slip into a state of cognitive bias — just about everything that happens is "because I am an HSP." Of course, that's probably rather inconsistent with reality, but we're looking for ways to "make the shoe fit."

After a while, we move onto "integration." We start to become more honest about the ways the trait affects our lives... and the ways it doesn't. At least... that's what happens for those who are honest with themselves; some, it seems, stay in that place where "EVERYthing happens this way because I am an HSP."But THEN What?

Perhaps the ultimate objective of learning all we can about being an HSP is that we get to return to "just being a person."

As I look back on my doctors' visit, I came to realize that it has been several years since I have thought of myself through the lens of perception that "I am an HSP." The trait doesn't define me, it simply adds a layer of understanding to the overall picture of what it means to be me.

I understand certain things about myself, and understand which of those things happen to be a consequence of my high sensitivity, and I try to arrange my life accordingly.

In formalizing this realization last night, I also came to understand why we see "familiar faces" in online HSP groups, as well as keepers of HSP blogs and web sites suddenly "fall off the radar." They've simply gotten all they needed from their activities, and then moved on.

Think of it a but like attending University: You learn a lot, and then you get a degree and graduate. Maybe you stay on and keep learning, getting a graduate degree. But eventually you're done. And that's actually the natural order of things —if you're NOT seeing that, you run the risk of becoming "that eternal student," working on their 6th degree because they never found the courage to actually go out and be part of life, using the learning they'd experienced.

And so — aside from the fact that I occasionally teach and give workshops — I am done with "being an HSP." I have returned to simply being ME.

How about YOU? Where are YOU, on your HSP Journey of Learning? How long ago was it that you learned that there is such a thing as a "Highly Sensitive Person?" How did it change your life? Do you feel you know what you need to know, or are you still "studying?" To what degree to you find that you "identify" with being an HSP? Leave me a comment-- be part of an ongoing dialogue!

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Welcome to HSP Notes!

I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I have always known this, but I discovered there was a "name" for it in 1997, and have spent the ensuing years learning all I can about the innate aspects of the trait, about myself, and what it means in my life. Although relatively few people are aware of it, as many as 15%-20% of the population are HSPs. Unfortunately, "being sensitive" carries some incorrect negative connotations and cultural biases that often lead sensitive people to "misdiagnose" themselves, or hide their true nature.

This site is much more than just "a blog;" since 2002 it has offered a conglomeration of articles, personal stories, HSP community news, as well as an HSP Bookstore, information resources for HSPs, whether you've just discovered that "Hey! This is ME!" or have been exploring the meaning of "being sensitive" for a long time. Welcome, and thank you for your interest!

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Published since 2002, "HSP Notes" is one of the oldest HSP-specific blogs on the Internet. The archive of older posts covers an extensive range of topics and issues I have come across, in the course of learning about what it means to be an HSP.

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HSPs & Work

Learning About the HSP Trait

Having had the privilege of meeting 100s of fellow HSPs in person, and 1000s in cyberspace, I have learned that the single most important difference between those who feel like they are suffering with their sensitivity, and those who are thriving, is information and knowledge. The more you know and understand, the more you can work with your sensitivity as a gift, rather than experiencing it as a burden.

The links in the first section below are to some of the most significant informational HSP sites on the web. The second set of links are to therapists and life coaches who have a thorough understanding of the trait-- most of them I know personally, and they generally accept phone/email/online chat sessions. The third links section includes web sites I believe to be "of general interest" to HSPs, based on the common interests highly sensitive people have shared with me, over the years.

HSP Bookstore: Recommended HSP Reading

The Importance of Connecting

Another extremely important way for an HSP to find inner peace is "connection." This may sound counterintuitive to those who are introverts, reclusive and feel easily overstimulated by people. However, nobody understands what it is like to be a highly sensitive person like another highly sensitive person. Hence it is very important for HSPs to connect with fellow HSPs.

The links in this section are to sites that offer various ways for HSPs to connect with each other, from web-based discussion groups and forums, to HSP workshops, gatherings and retreats.