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With a few smart solutions, you can begin to hone a positive mindset and hold firm to the mission of your business.

Photo by Ellyot

Running a business – any business – comes with challenges, obstacles and hurdles to clear. So, the last thing you need is people failing to acknowledge that you’re in business in the first place. Yet, this is the reality for many freelancers and small business owners.

The freelance workforce is predicted to rise to 43% by 2020. So, it’s high time to broaden the conversation around what constitutes commerce. Freelancing doesn’t equate to “free time”. Yet, many freelancers find themselves having to justify their working lifestyle. Especially if they juggle business, children and other commitments. It’s simply a waste of time and mental energy having to prove that scheduling in non-work activities during the day doesn’t mean you’re kicking back and enjoying a work-free life.

In an ideal world, it shouldn’t matter what others think. But, of course, it does – because thoughts can become deeds. And it’s not surprising that, according to the Small Enterprise Research Journal, the full contribution of women to the economy via self-employment remains unrealized.

“The most common misconception about my freelance life is that I have free time during the day,” says Tamu Thomas, Founder of women’s lifestyle brand Three Sixty. “For example, if I am in the park after school with my 11-year-old daughter, the assumption is that I have finished work early and I get the “it’s-alright-for-some” comments. The reality is that my working day may have started at 6.30 am to make going to the park after school possible. And I’ll probably be working after 9 pm.” In cases like this, correcting people in a simple polite way can make all the difference.

Manage people’s expectations

It’s essential to communicate to friends and loved ones that you have a to-do list and scheduled blocks of time to complete your tasks – just as they do in their jobs.

“I have to quite often remind my family that I'm working. It feels selfish and mean. But it's imperative, otherwise, people will constantly be trying to engage with me while I work. I ask them to imagine they were working in an office and I turned up, expecting them to be available. It just wouldn't happen,” says Annie Ridout, a Journalist, Editor of The Early Hour, Author of the Freelance Mum (4th Estate, 2019) and mum to a four-year-old daughter and a son, 18 months.

This can mean controlling who visits your house (if it’s your home office) during work hours, and fiercely guarding your working time and space. Ridout continues: “Going to an office or film set or building site seems to say: I'm going to work. Popping into the kitchen and turning on a laptop doesn't. We need to work on broadening people – including our children's – views on the different ways people work.”

Fight the battles you can win and let go of the rest

Sometimes you just have to shrug off the naysayers. “At my old job, I had a very clear conversation with my boss about why I was leaving and my goals to start my own business to fully utilize my skills,” says Life & Business Coach, Yvonne Druyeh Dodd. “My boss asked me if I had a name for my business. I told him it was Evi D. Consulting. He said, ‘Well everyone’s consulting when they’re in-between jobs.’ Later at a full staff meeting when it was announced that I was leaving, and everyone was expressing surprise and curiosity about what was next for me, my boss said, ‘Well, she’s getting married, so…’ Yes, I was getting married in a few months, but it was clear that I was not leaving to become a stay-at-home wife,” says Druyeh Dodd, who has been running her business for six years, and is now mum to a one-year-old son.

Surround yourself with people who DO understand

“Whether it's joining a co-working space or finding an online community – finding your tribe for your business and personal life is essential to your success,” says Druyeh Dodd.

She continues: “When you work for yourself you don’t have someone to give you the A+, the promotion, or to say: ‘good job!’. It’s something you have to do for yourself, which is why it can be especially painful when your family is clueless about what you do or completely invalidates it. However, they’re not the ones with the dream or the bills to pay, and they’re also not the client you’re serving. Chasing after their validation will only distract you from doing what you do best.” Plus, it’s likely to distract from all the help and support you have from people who DO “get” you and your business.

Create firm boundaries (and practice your telephone greeting)

Creating physical boundaries is key. “Work outside of the home. Invest in a desk at a shared workspace, if that’s financially viable. Or use coffee shops, like I do,” says Ridout. You also need to work on your mental and emotional boundaries. “Firstly, you have to accept that no-one really knows what you are doing and why, except you, and that is enough,” says Thomas. “Once you do this, the need to justify yourself will reduce significantly. You really cannot afford to prioritize other people being annoyed because you can’t run an errand for them over your workflow. As harsh as this may sound anyone that cannot respect your boundaries may not be as for you as you think.”

“Also make use of the do not disturb function on your phone,” says Thomas. “I use mine and only allow calls from my daughter’s school and my mum when I don’t want to risk being disturbed. These days our phones are the boundary breakers, as people very rarely pop round without prior arrangement. Remember we control our phones, not the other way around. If you accidentally answer, your greeting should be: ‘Hi, what’s up, I’m in the middle of something. Is it urgent?’”

As Howard Thurman said: “What the world needs is people who have come alive.” And it’s incredibly life-giving to sell your skills, talents, services and products. Yet, until we have a massive societal overhaul in the way we view freelancers and small business owners, we’re simply making life and work harder for everyone.