Pwn Up: The Ghosts of Christmas Presents

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail. This week the theme was tales of Christmas memories, which inevitably turned into an in-depth look of the psychological maelstrom that is "Christmas Morning".

A few years ago I asked my mother for the professor Layton games. I did a big selling pitch really pushing so she might buy me the whole series. I told her how they were puzzling and so it would challenge my brain, and it would be educational and make me smarter. I then got super excited when I saw 3 DS game-sized boxs under the tree (only 3 Layton games were out at the time) and patiently awaited Christmas day. When the time came I ripped one up so fast I didn't see the box in till all the wrapping paper was around me.

It was More Brain Training (Brain Age 2 in America)...I thought it may just be because she couldn't find one of them. I opened the rest.

Math Training, Word Coach and More Brain Training. My Mum couldn't remember the name of the game I wanted apparently but remembered me saying it could make me smarter. Hardest fake smile I've had to ever pull saying thanks for them. At least I got some nice socks that year...

- Ben.

When I was in 5th grade, I got Pokemon Stadium for my N64 on Christmas morning. Immediately after I finished opening all my presents, I ran to my room so that I could watch my Gameboy Pokemon fight each other in 3D. Unfortunately, we had had a severe ice storm the night before, including freezing rain that had frozen on all the electricity cables. At the exact moment that I pressed start on the title screen, our electricity went out. I think I may have blacked out from shock and horror. I don't remember much from the rest of that day.

-Ryan

It was Christmas 2000, Pokemon gold and silver had just come out and it was all that I wanted. As me and my siblings are opening presents my brother got his game boy color and copy of gold. I was so excited, when it was my turn to open my copy of silver... Only the game isn't in there. It's socks...

I couldn't find my game anywhere. Everyone moves on and I am devastated. Finally after hours of torment my mom tells me to check the bottom of a shoe box. They had put in a fake bottom to hide my game and game boy.

To this day I still feel weird around Christmas because of those few harrowing moments that I "almost didn't get Pokemon".

-Stetson

When the PS4 was announced, I never really took the time to pre-order the console. The day it came out, I decided to take my chances with getting it maybe a few days after release day. Worst decision I ever made. PS4s would sell out within the hour a new shipment would arrive. I was never those 'Wake up super early and go to the store an hour before it opens' kind of guy, so I decided to continue checking around town every couple days to see if I could nab one. It wasn't until the day before Black Friday that I decided to give up and wait to buy it after Christmas. So on Black Friday, instead of my usual rounds around town, I decided to stay in and start decorating my Christmas Tree early. A little bit into the decorating, I got a text message from my grandma, saying "Hope you enjoy your early Christmas present!" with a pic of a PS4 in her car. Apparently an employee at Target decided to hide almost a dozen of PS4s for him and his friends, and my Grandma found one stashed after demanding to see their storage when the employee said they didn't have any left. So on Black Friday, in the middle of the day, my grandma was able to get me and 9 other lucky customers a PS4. I spent the rest of the month praising her.

-Matt

Every christmas I play the South Park FPS game on my old N64 because there's snow and it's the only game I have closely related to christmas. Around 7 years ago my N64 died and I tried having it fixed but no one had parts for it because I live in the Philippines and apparently not many people owned an N64 here. So lately I've been stuck to playing it using an emulator.

Now on to the reason I had to share this. The Philippines, being a tropical country, doesn't get snow. So everytime I play the South Park game, I sit beside an AC unit or an open fridge to replicate the winter winds.

-Aaron

It was October 1996 and the Nintendo 64 had just come out. All I wanted was to play Mario 64 (which I'd gotten to do once at the local KB Toys), but my parents told me that they wouldn't get me an N64, and I didn't have nearly enough money for one (I was 11). So I did the next best thing - I bought the full strategy guide for Mario 64 at a grocery store (the one from GameFan's). I spent the next 3 months studying it intensely - memorizing the Star locations, secret sections of the castle, and everything else.

Then came Christmas morning - I got an N64, but no Mario 64. But like a Christmas Story, my parents had just hidden the one thing I wanted for last. It was incredible - but what was more incredible was coming down with mono nucleosis the day after. I ended up having to be secluded for the rest of winter break, which meant uninterrupted Mario 64 for a solid week and a half - and I didn't even need the strategy guide. Truly, a Christmas miracle.

-Andrew Bridgman

Christmas is serious business.But Pwn Up takes no breaks. Next week, we want to hear stories about movies. Made a student film that is a source of humiliation? Nab your first kiss at a screening of Episode III? If you've got an anecdotal masterpiece, we want you to share it. As always send them over to dorklypwnup@gmail.com