Narratives #2According to Robert McKee (real-life screenplay guru played by Brian Cox in "Adaptation"), one should NEVER use narrative in one's screenplay. Nonetheless, the technique is used quite frequently, often very effectively. (And often not.) So, with apologies to Mr. McKee, name the flicks that contain the following narratives.

1.

"I became addicted. If I didn't say anything, people always assumed the worst. They cried harder, then I cried harder. I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites. I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around. Every evening I died, and every evening I was born again."

2.

"Oh, that magical moment as I walked through the wardrobe door. I felt possessed. I could feel him calling out to me -- The Tramp."

3.

"No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. The poor bastard'll see them soon enough. We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers. Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, two dozen Amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."

4.

"The time had come to check out Boyd Aviation, to meet some of the guys, and to find out what Stanwyck was doing with that plane. I splurged; I invested 49 cents in a set of novelty teeth."

5.

"We talked into the night. The kind of talk that seemed important until you discovered girls."

6.

"In other parts of the world, young men leave home and travel far and wide in search of a promising future. Their journeys are often fueled by dreams of triumphing over evil, finding a great love, or the hopes of fortunes easily made. Here in St. Cloud, not even the decision to get off the train is easily made, for it requires an earlier, more difficult decision: Add a child to your life or leave one behind."

7.

"Right now, that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes, Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies wanna go to the trouble explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp."

8.

"I've been doing P.O.S. mini-lab work for over twenty years now. I consider it an important job. When people's houses are on fire, what's the first thing they save after their pets and loved ones are safe? The family photos. Some people think that this is a job for a clerk. They actually believe that any idiot that attends a two-hour seminar can master the art of making beautiful prints in less than an hour. But of course, like most things, there's far more to it than meets the eye."

9.

"Following the doctor's orders, two weeks after Cecilia returned home, Mr. Lisbon persuaded his wife to allow the girls to throw the first and only party of their short lives."

10.

"I'm a normal red-bleeded American man. I like to look at naked women. I love breasts. Any kind. I love 'em! Boobs, bazooms, balloons, bags, bazongas. The bigger, the better. Nipples like udders, nipples like saucers, big, pale, rosy-brown nipples, little bitty baby nipples. Real or fake, what's the difference? I like tits, who's kidding who? Tits are great."

11.

"It was the morning of April 20, 1999. It was pretty much like any other morning in America. The farmer did his chores. The milkman made his deliveries. The President bombed another country whose name we couldn't pronounce."

12.

"I couldn't escape one simple thought: I hated myself. No, no, no, here's what it was: I hated my place in the world. I had so much to say and no one to listen. And then it happened. It was the oddest, most unexpected thing. I began writing what they call a mission statement."

13.

"There were people out there who had a good time in life. I was beginning to realize that I wasn't one of them. I just didn't fit. I didn't fit at my old school, and I definitely didn't fit at my new one. I heard that some kids got taught by their parents at home. But Mum couldn't do that unless I paid her to teach me. Because it was just her and me, and she went to work. She made 400 pounds a week. Where was I gonna get that kind of money from? Maybe if I was like that movie kid Haley Joel Osment I could pay her that much, but if that meant being good at drama, forget it. I was crap at drama, cuz I hated standing up in front of people. So, basically, I had to go to school."

14.

"A few words here about following people. People know they are being followed when they turn around and see someone following them. They can't tell they're being followed if you get there first."

15.

"For guys like me, Las Vegas washes away your sins. It's like a morality car wash. It does for us what Lourdes does for humbacks and cripples. And along with making us legit comes cash. Tons of it. I mean, what do you think we're doing out here in the middle of the desert? It's all this money. This is the end result of all the bright lights and the comp trips, of all the champagne and free hotel suites, and all the broads and all the booze. It's all been arranged just for us to get your money."