And the crazy thing is, this so-called drama is TOTALLY EXCLUSIVE TO THE MOMOSPHERE. I mean, I have never once seen any sort of uncivil disagreement on oh, say Gawker or Huffington Post or the New York Times or…

oh wait.

Hm.

Today on Twitter, Leah of A Girl and a Boy, Julie of A Little Pregnant and I decided it was high time to host our own mommy war. Julie came up with the brilliant title: Mamageddon.

I even have a tag line. It’s rough but…oh okay. I’ll share.

Mamageddon: Everyone is welcome!

(It’s a friendly sort of mommy war, see?)

We haven’t quite landed on the battlefields yet but a few have been floated:

-Libertarian parents who feel oppressed by the man and its evil car seat laws v Parents who buckle up

-Moms who let their kids eat raw cookie dough v moms who love them too much to let them get salmonella. (via Joy Unexpected)

-Team You’re Doing it Wrong v Team No You Are. (via Julie)

-Elmo lovers v elmo haters who will then rise up together and take on the anti-TV people (via Any Mommy Out There)

What mommy wars would you like to see? It’s your war! This is a democracy!

If we can arrange for some regional meet-ups, I know someone who will videotape the ensuing catfights. You know, because getting footage of women fighting in slow-mo will further the cause and help society take us seriously for once.

I nominate “Moms who let their kids listen to Ke$sha vs. Moms who don't vs. Moms who think Ke$sha sounds like synthesized garbage vs. Those who agree with the synthesized garbage premise but can't help but love her anyway.”

I suggest Moms who drive to the corner store vs those to walk everywhere as a signal of environmental responsibility vs those who consider walking 30 minutes of daily exercise while playing on their iPhones.

What are the odds that we can get either Bruce Willis or Ben Affleck to attend? I think that would definitely add an air of seriousness to the cause.

As a dad, I feel the hatred coming from the mom camp when you leave us out of your new war. Why do you always hate on us? Why do you think you're better? I'm going to send a tweet to my tens of followers alerting them to this dirty attack on my character!

If this is true Mamageddon (love the name by the way) then shouldn't this be about Moms uniting against the rest of the world as opposed to Moms v Moms?

In which case I would offer

“Moms who think those who criticize our parenting styles and techniques whatever they may be should be hung drawn and quartered”

vs

“Moms who think all those who criticize our parenting styles and techniques should be boiled in oil after first spending a day looking after a bunch of kids while the Moms go off and take a break for a change”

my suggestions would be:1) Moms who do their own parenting because what works for them works for them but maybe not for other people vs Moms who do their own parenting and Oh My God You're Doing IT WRONG!!!

2)moms who are able to have normal interactions with other people regarding their kids vs Moms who are psychos (yes, I have a specific person in mind here why do you ask?)

3) Moms vs the Alien invasion, no wait – that was Independence Day, so I guess it should be:Moms vs some big ass meteor

See, I'd totally go down the path (and have) of a Blues Clues knockdown drag out instead of the Elmo thing…Team Steve vs Team Joe, a/k/a “who's better, the guy who started it all, got bored, lost his hair along the way and left or the guy who was taller, younger and still had all of his”

And there's my personal favorite “moms who can't wait to see Kate Goslin's sour face voted off Dancing With the Stars” vs “moms who think she actually will find some lick of dance talent before the season is over”. Or maybe I'm the only one who cares about that.

A group of bloggers including myself started a weekly open conversation thing called ControverSundays (see the host at mmeperpetua.wordpress.com) so we could talk about these hot topics that turns moms against one another (mostly on the Internet, it would appear). We were almost TRYING to kick up a healthy mommywar.

So far it's been all too reasonable. Lots of “This is what I do and it works for me, but I don't think it should be generalized to a formula” followed by, “You know, I do something totally different, but we both make so much sense!” So much for controversy.

So how about Parents Who Try to Be Judgmental vs. Their Own Goodwill Toward Other Parents.

Wow, I feel like the ante is high here with all these funny comments. How about Moms with G-rated blogs featuring puppies and sunshine vs. WTH-you-lookin'-at moms who brandish their bikini line tattoos and curse profoundly and often in every post?

And can someone tell what the deal is with Lady Gaga? This seems like a group who would know and I'm just mystified. Oh wait, am I starting something?

How about: moms who use the leash backpacks vs. moms who find that creepy but can't figure out how else to keep from chasing their toddlers into the street vs. moms who don't know what the debate is about because their children are perfect and never run off.

I am pro any anti versus pro stance. I would like the fights to include pillow, liquor (for the anti liquor crowd) and pay per view video of said fights. We can then fight over who gets what share of the profit or who gets to put adverts on the fight videos.

Moms who drag their childeren of to third world country's (preferably a war or former war zone) for a holiday because 'it is an educational experience' vs moms who say 'let's just go to the south of France and be done with it.'

and

Moms believe that they must always spend every second of the day with their child vs moms who think it's okay to have a child play by itself every once in a while

Parents who snidely or openly condescend and snark to other parents who aren't a part of their political or religious/non-religious group even though their religion/moral code preaches tolerance, compassion, and understanding as well as not being snide and snarky

versus

Parents who are upfront about their own hypocrisies first and foremost and who first and foremost assume the best about each other in every situation.

That's actually a battle I'd like to see waged and won by the second group, although it's a small group to be sure. I'm still trying to break into it myself.

Other than that, my own personal battle is

Parents who reel mower versus parents who use an electric/gas mower versus parents who xeriscape their lawns with ground cover.

Which has nothing to do with parenting, but a whole lot to do with the amount of noise pollution in my neighborhood each summer.

Organic food moms vs Fast food moms, i.e. Only the Purest of Foods Touch My Kids' Lips vs Who the Hell Has Time to Friggin' Cook with Piano Lessons and Baseball Practice and Homework and Oh, Bathtime You Say?

Team Edward Moms vs Team Jacob Moms.

Twilight Moms vs True Blood Moms.

Moms who read vs Moms who watch TV.

Crochet Moms vs Knitting Moms (knitting will win — sharper needles)

Moms who let kids play sports vs moms who wrap their kids in bubble wrap.

This screwed up society that has such a problem with a woman living her life in whatever way works best for her and therefore inflames ridiculous woman-vs-woman fights over issues that really come down to personal choice and maybe a decision about what is best for one particular family.

But that may be too much to ask, so maybe just women vs. feeling guilty about things that aren't illegal or immoral, like feeding your child chicken nuggets.

LOL. This is awesome, because just today I found myself embroiled in a blog comments war with a perfect stranger over breast vs bottle. I really do wonder why moms get into it so bad. We all get defensive, and most of the time… it's over stuff that is no one else's damn business anyway! Why does anyone care how my child was fed for his first year? Why does anyone care who watches TV or not? What effect does it have on you? Why can't we all get along? Won't someone THINK OF THE CHILDREN??? : )

the moms whose children never watch the evil tv vs. those whose kids knew how to get a show on demand at 3 years old.

the moms whose kids are never allowed near a disney well…anything vs. those of us who daughters know every jonas brothers favorite food and underwear color and whose 18 month old son is addicted to the movie cars.

the moms who only post pics who believe those of us who don't aren't real bloggers and are really middle aged men named larry vs those of us who don't post pics of our kids, are still bloggers, but aren't named larry.

and my all time favorite: moms whose chilren only listen to raffi vs. those whose kids know every word that pink, justin timberlake, van morrison and james taylor sing.

Fun! How about moms who flip out when small kids share eachothers pacis/ sippies when playing together- because of the germs bs. Moms who shrug because they know if you turn your back for a sec they will probably start licking eachothers

or moms who rely on common sense vs. Moms who take every news piece to heart

or we can just have a tequila shot contest- I'm good with any of those:)

Your post reminded me that when I was a kid I used to eat raw hamburger by the handfuls. My mom would try & stop me, not because it was dangerous but because she was afraid I wouldn't have room for dinner!

In the 80's I was a waitron at Jackson Hole, Wyoming restos on the east side and my favorite snack was raw hamburger with kosher dills.

I also ate tons of raw pie dough and my sister ate heaps of raw potatoes.

Moms of kids with actual potentially life-threatening peanut allergies vs. moms who claim their kids can ONLY eat peanutbutter for lunch vs. moms who arrange their own child's party menu around your allergic child vs. moms who never heard of it when THEY were kids so they think it's all a bunch of bullshit.

I love this thread. I'm trying to think of something relating to soccer as my 5yo just started “playing”. Something along the lines of:

Moms/Dads who keep score vs. Moms/Dads who don't care if the score is 45 to 2 as long as their child is outside, running around, and having fun with minimum input from me because I am chasing my 3yo on the sidelines and trying to convince her she needs to go potty before we get to the field because if I have to stick my head in the port-o-potty one more flipping time I am going to hurl.

Moms who think Goldfish are life savers v. Moms who think Goldfish are made of arsenic

Moms who potty train boys standing v. moms who potty train boys sitting [I need all the help I can get from either side here. ;-)]

Moms who let their kids listen to the unedited versions of everything and only think a cuss word is a cuss word if used in the proper context v. Moms who edit everything and think Kids Bop are awesome and never cuss in front of their kids

Moms who drive SUVs because trying to fit 3 car seats across the back of a compact car doesn't work v. Moms who fuss at them for driving the big SUVs while they are unloading their one kid from the back of their hybrid

Moms who have certain parenting styles and choices because it works for their kids and don't feel the need to tell everyone about it

vs

Moms who send out tweets and facebook status updates to preach daily on how vaccinations will kill your children, circumsizing your son is mutilation, and if you drink homogenized milk you might as well have a mass suicide in your family now because you're killing them slowly.

Also, I am pretty sure that “vejazzled” is my favorite new word ever. I don't know if it was on purpose or a typo, but I will giggling about this for days.

I love this. I'd love to see a war between generations of moms. The “we did/didn't do that with our kids and they're just fine” generation vs. the “science has come a long way and I rely on modern information” generation.