Transformers: The Game AUReview

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More proof that licensed games still generally suck. Even ones with giant robots.

By Patrick Kolan

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the licensed games aisle, a title comes along that resets your expectations to the default level of 'wow, that sort of sucks'. Yes, it's true - Transformers, the game adaptation of Michael Bay's filmic reinvention, is largely a poor experience that tries to do a lot with very little, kind of like MacGyver. But unlike MacGyver, it fails half the time and people sometimes end up dead.

Okay, that last part was an outright lie, but you'll definitely walk away from the Transformers game experience feeling a little dirty and used. You see, Activision took what was essentially a hard idea to mess up (giant robots smacking each other around) and, incredibly, botched it. Some of it is fun, though - which is why we're a little conflicted by how sour other elements are.

Essentially, Transformers: The Game is a brawler set in large destructible environments; however, that's not to say that the game is at all open-ended. Generally, objectives are very linear - a massive issue that undermines the game - and something we'll delve into shortly. You can initially choose to follow either the Autobots or the Decepticons through separate paths in the storyline that mostly follows the events of the film.

Awesome models, but sucky gameplay. It's sad but true.

From the initial moments of the Autobots storyline, things just feel crummy. Missions are structured around very basic concepts such as racing from one point to another, pursuing other bots through the streets and over hills, destroying marked objects and so on. It's not complex stuff by any stretch - this is a game that has been designed to satisfy a very undemanding and arguably unskilled gamer.

It's also very clean, inoffensive stuff - there is no treading on humans to be done - they even abandon their vehicles if you decide to pick one up for a spot of sedan-shot-put. All violence is of the cold, unfeeling, robotic variety - and we certainly have no issues with one hulking metal mass beating up another.

The Autobots' story arc mostly mirrors the film. Cutscenes are interspersed into the gameplay, tearing you out of the action for a few moments of cheesy dialogue and surprisingly average CG work. Shia LaBeouf has been replaced by a nondescript male actor who doesn't have the dry appeal of the former. Really, that kind of sets the tone for the rest of the game - everything is average and bland, lacking the humour of the film and the whiz-bang visual impact.

See the car he's holding? You'll be doing most of your initial pounding with objects just like it.

It's utterly confounding that Optimus Prime is relegated to racing around under a pointless time-limit, unable to use his beefy weapons against a character he must defeat in order to progress. Bumblebee is definitely the gameplay focus for much of the early single-player game, and his portions see a fair amount of variety.

That's not to say that 'variety equals fun', because it doesn't. Taking out a bunch of gas canisters and watching as your Autobot is pretty much forced to take damage is a kill-joy. The game ranks your highest speeds, longest throws, swerviest powerslides and so on, but there actually aren't too many instances during the missions that actually push you to excel. It also doesn't help that most of the bots oversteer dramatically in vehicle mode, which makes driving a bit of a chore too.

We also found ourselves spending inordinate amounts of time during missions just throwing objects and knocking over bots since our hyper-powered weapons were totally ineffective during many Decepticon encounters. Why give bots cool guns and then force them to uproot trees or toss giant donuts or swordfish around to deal any damage or lower their defences?