Big Trouble

2002 American comedy film

Big Trouble is a 2002 comedy thriller film about the slightly surreal misadventures of a handful of people, mostly strangers to each other, who are brought together through various connections to a mysterious metal suitcase, over two nights in Miami.

Contents

[About Arthur] Arthur Herk. One of the few Floridians who was not confused when he voted for Pat Buchanan.

[About Puggy, who has just been paid five dollars for manual lifting and has found a 'home' in a tree] After only twenty-four hours in Miami, Puggy had already found more satisfactory employment and lived in a better neighbourhood than I did.

[After his son has just called him a loser] Okay, now it's my turn. Up yours, you little shithead. Okay, your turn.

Pat Greer: Anyway, somebody who knew what they were doing modified it. Dumped it on some guys who run a place here called The Jolly Jackal.

Officer Monica Romero: The bar?

Pat Greer: That bar has more AK-47s than Budweiser.

Alan Seitz: What makes you think this is the first time?

Pat Greer: Never mind which time this is. The important thing is we got those assholes trapped at the airport, and until we say further, no plane is taking off.

Officer Monica Romero: You can do that?

Eliot Arnold: I hope you're not gonna give me a ticket for this.

Officer Walter Kramitz: If I don't see them, I don't write them.

Eliot Arnold: Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game.

[Grabs a squirt gun away from Matt]

Eliot Arnold: This is a stupid game.

Matt Arnold: Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun.

Eliot Arnold: You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime?

Matt Arnold: Andrew?

Jenny Herk: He ran the other way.

Eliot Arnold: Did anybody call the police?

Airport Officer Arch Ridley: [Agent Greer just pushed him up against a support wall] Name's Arch Ridley. Tell me what you need. Please don't kill me.

Pat Greer: We're tracking a couple of scumbags, with one, maybe two hostages and a big metal suitcase. Anybody in this crackerjack system of yours see anything like that?

Arthur Herk: [making an opinion on who might have shot his TV] I'll tell you who did it. It's probably some goddamn kids. 'Cause these goddamn kids today, they all got goddamn guns, and they're all sniffing glue!

Officer Monica Romero: Any additional insights, Mr. Herk? Any information can help us to protect you.

Arthur Herk: I seriously doubt that you or any other member of the police force in this town could protect their own dicks with both hands.

Officer Monica Romero: My hands are kind of full right now, what with holding my dick and all.

Arthur Herk: [to Eliot] Now you and your shithead kid can get the hell out of here, and never come back.

Eliot Arnold: Thanks for everything.

[In the Jolly Jackal Russian's bar; Leo is holding a baseball bat]

Leonard: Out!

Snake: [about Puggy] He broke my ankle!

Leonard: I break your head!

John: You can stay.

Puggy: [about the muggers] They took all my money.

John: It's okay. Free beer.

Eliot Arnold: [As Snake clings onto a set of stairs] Let go of the suitcase!

Snake: The Kingpin will never let go of the Kingpin's suitcase! [Opens fire on him]

Eliot Arnold: [Grabs an emergency lever] Have it your way [pulls the lever disconecting the stairs from the plane]

[Henry and Leonard are stuck in the middle of a big traffic jam, just right before the Airport Road]

Henry Desalvo: We're gonna miss our flight.

Leonard: You see what the problem is?

Henry Desalvo: I don't know. There's some kind of commotion up there. There might be something about it on the radio.

[He turns on the radio - only to find the two same people arguing on the same phone-in show before turning off the radio in annoyance. After a moment in silence, a goat walks past the car; the two men pause for a moment in stunned silence]

Henry Desalvo: I asked, would you mind putting out your cigars, please?

Bruce: As a matter of fact I would mind.

Henry Desalvo: Well you see the reason I asked -- all due respect -- is because I got a great New York strip over there cost me twenty-seven dollars in change, and it tastes like I'm eating a cigar.

Bruce: Well first of all Ace: You're eating a steak at a place called "Joe's Stone Crab"? And secondly, there's no rule that says we can't smoke.

Henry Desalvo: Well first of all: My name is not Ace. And number two: I'm not talking about rules, here, I'm talking about manners. You see, there is no rule that says I can't come over here and fart on your entree, but I don't do it. Why? Because it isn't good manners. Now I will ask you again in the nicest way to please, put out the cigars, okay?.

[Bruce blows smoke in Henry's face and laughs with his friends. Finally snapping, Henry grabs the cigar, snaps Bruce's fingers and puts out his cigar in his drink. Shocked, the others follow suit.]

Henry Desalvo: Thank you.

Bruce: [Pained] I hope you realize you've just committed assault.

Henry Desalvo: I know, I know. Time was you actually had to hit somebody.