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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Legal Relief from the Highest of Thrones

About a year ago I posted
about using Merkavah techniques of angel magic from the early part of
the first millennium to solve a misunderstanding with a creditor,
something which is relevant for a ton of people today.

Another thing that comes up
frequently for people today is dealing with legal issues. So I
figured now that the issue that caused me to use this method is well
in the past, I would share it.

A few months prior to the
creditor post I had run into some ridiculous moving violation
nonsense. My attorney pointed out that the charges weren't even the
correct charges and most of what the officer said in the instance
wasn't correct. I had evidence with me when I was pulled over that
the issue was resolved but the officer ignored it. Basically, I fell
into a convergence of multiple administrative tangles that swelled up
into a series of costly charges and penalties.

At first my attorney was
confident that I had been wronged; he discounted my legal fees
because of it and assured me how easy it was all going to be. Then a
few months passed and we didn't meet again until a few weeks before
the court date. At this new meeting he explained that he was handing
me off to his partner, who was way less impressive. He needed new
copies of some of my documentation, and the two of them started
confusing and forgetting the various elements of the incident. They
assured me that they knew everyone in the local legal system and
would get everything dismissed...unless it was this one judge, but
they hoped it wouldn't be her. All in all they felt like they were
going to bungle it and I got nervous.

So...the obvious solution,
was magic. Angel magic.

The Sefer HaRazim has a few
pieces that describe dealing with magistrates and officials. I
decided to work with the angels of silence who reside in the second
heaven. They are said to exonerate you by commanding the silence of
anyone who would speak against you.

Once you're clean enough for
angels to not mistake you for a drop of semen, (the Hekhalot texts
suggest that the angels like to refer to humans that way) you have to
steal bread that was offered at an altar to an idol.

This is kind of a tough one.
We don't live in a world with idols all over the place. If you happen
to have a friend with idols he probably won't like you stealing
offerings he has made to his gods. If you yourself are Pagan or work
with spirits, your gods or spirits may not like you stealing
offerings to give to angels. The idea has a sort of antinomian vibe
when you consider that it was written in a time where memories of
Pagan dominant cultures probably still influenced the work. The
angels are subduing something that would otherwise be dominant over
you, and so you subvert another possible force of domination. But to
do this, you have to violate some boundaries. My solution was to
offer a Mass to my Holy Guardian Angel and then take back the
remaining host to use for the angels. This way I had bread offered up
to some divine force, without having to insult that divine force.

Once you have the bread you
say over it the names of the angels in reverse order seven times.

These angels are from the
first step of the second heaven, they are angels who “stand in
terror, cloaked in wrath, girded with dread, surrounded by trembling,
their raiment like an image of fire, their faces like the appearance
of lightning, and their mouths never cease to utter mighty words.
Nevertheless, their voice is not heard, for their task is to silence,
to frighten, and to terrify anyone who opposes the man who calls on
them in purity.”

These angels are:

HMRY'L, HDRY'L, RSY'L,
HSCY'L, DMYMY'L, ZBDY'L, RNZY'L, CNS'L, KTBR'L

Once you've said the names
of the angels say this:

“I ask from you, angels of
silence, that in this place, you silence every mouth and every heart
of the children of Adam and Eve who arise against me to say anything
evil. Let their mouths utter good things about me and let me be
exonerated in my lawsuit, do not permit any mouth to speak evil about
me.”

Then sprinkle the ashes in a
relevant place. I sprinkled them on steps outside the courthouse on
my way in.

I went in, was there for
about 45 minutes, and then was told I could go because the prosecutor
decided not to prosecute my case.

So again, simple run down:

Purify yourself

Steal some idolatrous
bread

Burn the bread to ash

Say the names of the
angels from the first step of the second heaven in reverse order
seven times

Say the incantation

Spread the ash in a
relevant place (court house, city center)

Be awesome as the
angels exonerate you through their power to silence your accusers