ASK DR. SCHUND
(C)1998 Alan M. Schwartz
Dr. Schund, how do we fit ten kilos of sand into a one gram bag?
The laws of atomic physics are immutable. Atoms are defined by
their electron shells, by quantum mechanics and Fermi statistics.
Were it not for footnotes, the Earth would gravitationally
collapse into a small sphere of nuclear matter, well beyond white
hot (adiabatic compression) and incapable of paying taxes.
(Earth's diameter is 7930 miles. Pull the Fermi statistics' plug
buoying its electrons and the average atom shrinks from a nominal
diameter of 0.472 nanometers to nuclear dimensions of about 3
femtometers. 7930 miles becomes 266 feet.)
There are other ways to pull the plug.
A muon is an electron's fat brother, a point lepton with negative
charge and 206.76 times the electron's mass. Substituting a muon
for an electron in a hydrogen atom gives a ground state orbit
radial probability density with 1/207 the radius and 1/8,870,000
the volume. Solid molecular hydrogen at 13 kelvin has a density
of 0.0.0763 gm/cm^3. Mu-hydrogen would have a density of about
677,000 gm/cm^3 - more than 2/3 of a metric tonne! Do not put
the bottle upon a soft surface.
Add a freshly popped hot muon to matter and it slows down inside
the target by electromagnetic interaction scattering to 2 keV in
10^(-11) to 10^(-9) seconds. Muons capture into a high orbital
angular momentum states of atoms, principle quantum number n=14,
forming excited muonic atoms. Given a 207 factor in mass, muon
vs electron, the muon orbits between electron orbits and the
nucleus despite its enormous principle quantum number, in 10^(-
15) to 10^(-14) seconds. The muon cascades down to its 1s
ground state. Initial de-excitation emits Auger electrons, outer
atomic electrons evaporating energy released by muon transitions,
leaving a multiply charged ion. As the muon cascades down, the
energy of each transition increases until the Auger effect is
small compared to X-ray transitions.
Dr. Schund is all tingly with possibilities! With its lowest
energy excitation nestled deep into the x-ray region (first line
in the mu-H Lyman series is 6.5 Angstroms for a binding energy of
2530 eV; page 106, "Quantum Physics of Atoms, Molecules, Solids,
Nuclei, and Particles," 2nd edition, R. Eisberg and R.Resnick),
mu2-H2 will be the most transparent substance on earth as well as
the densest. Invisible armor, anybody? Oh, Pentagon...
There do exist certain issues and improvement opportunities,
which is to say worse than potentially fatal problems. For light
nuclei the rate of muon nuclear capture is small, to give a 2
microsecond half-life overall. The muon can decay in orbit to an
electron and two neutrinos, or enter the nucleus to allow proton
capture and give a neutron and a neutrino.
Government stockpiling is intrinsic to any advanced business
plan. Two millionths of a second makes for a very deficient
corporate prospectus were it not for the Top Secret/Lotus Eater
Schund Neutrino Squeegee! Is there a short intrinsic half-life
attended by neutrino emission chewing on your butt Mr.
Businessman? No problem. How many decades' half-life do you
need? How many can you afford? Dr. Schund has all sorts of
outrageous and undesirable uses planned for *really* heavy
hydrogen - molecular, solid, and metallic.
In the late 1990s Washington was beset by a grievous shortage of
catastrophes (Monica Lewsinky's hot, moist, ravenous oral cavity
escapades aside). Wall Street fed on forlorn Baby Boomers
staring at retirement, the most dangerous foreign enemy was
France, the War on Drugs was a yawn, American zero-goal education
embraced its objectives, The Greenhouse Effect plus the Ozone
Hole summed to nothing, Hillary Ramrod Clinton wrote off her
thighs and acquiesced as a daughter of Bilitis. Low level
conflict policy feelers sought propaganda hegemony over the
populace with "Armageddon," "Deep Impact," and other parables of
acerbic Christ returning as a fastball asteroid, low and inside.
Dr. Schund volunteers to weave a safety net suitable to the task,
namely that of catching a celestial Mt. Everest thundering in on
Pacoima, CA at 40 miles/second. Less than a billion square miles
of Mu-logen(tm) hypermolecular fiber spun in a loose weave at a
few denier nylon equivalent would mass more than any asteroid but
not perceptibly block sunlight. It would be orbital positive
defense against everything. The money required for construction
and placement would equal total planetary created value for the
next thousand years. Not to worry. Hadn't we best toss a few
tens of $millions Dr. Schund's way to get the studies - or at
least preliminary review of parametric extrapolation of planned
study format and content - started? Send cash. Dr. Schund has a
spiffy trick for handling lading and ullage.