Respite for breast-cancer survivors at Pink Houses

By Lisa Vernon Sparks

Friday

Apr 26, 2013 at 3:42 PM

Sherry Chevalier Pelosky felt thrilled and amazed after wading into the surf to try the stand-up paddleboard. Weak from chemotherapy treatments and surgeries, the Scituate resident was in Carolina Beach,...

Sherry Chevalier Pelosky felt thrilled and amazed after wading into the surf to try the stand-up paddleboard.

Weak from chemotherapy treatments and surgeries, the Scituate resident was in Carolina Beach, N.C., at Little Pink Houses of Hope, a beach retreat for breast cancer patients and their families.

“There is something very healing about being at the beach,” said Pelosky, who was hesitant to try and nervous it would make her pain worse. “You walk away feeling ‘I can’t believe I did that.’ ”

The nonprofit offers breast cancer patients and their families a free weeklong trip at one of 12 communities near the beach in North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Delaware, California and the Caribbean island of St. John. The stand-up paddleboard is just one of several activities planned for families who come to Little Pink Houses to reconnect with each other.

For most women enduring chemotherapy, it can be exhausting to move, let alone to try to do something physical.

“It was a huge accomplishment,” Pelosky said of her 2011 paddleboard experience. “It really made me feel for the first time that maybe the physical issues wouldn’t stop me from doing things that I love.”

Pelosky, 51, now volunteers, along with husband, Michael Pelosky, and daughter Danielle Holmes, with Little Pink Houses of Hope. She has become good friends with its founder, Jeanine Patten-Coble, 42, also a breast cancer survivor. Patten-Coble started the nonprofit after her breast cancer diagnosis in 2009.

She had what she describes as a cathartic experience and divine intervention while running along the beach during a family vacation with her husband, Tarry, and son Jake in Buxton, N.C. There she saw a compound of abandoned beach cottages. She later discovered the property belonged to the U.S. Coast Guard and hadn’t been used in years.

“ ‘You need to create a place,’ ” Patten-Coble said she heard a voice saying in her head. She imagined painting them pink and creating a beach retreat for other families who were coping with what hers was going through.

Patten-Coble went home and began several months of treatment and surgeries. She never gave up her vision about creating a retreat and ultimately mustered the courage to develop a plan that became Little Pink Houses. While Patten-Coble did not use the Coast Guard property for her nonprofit, Little Pink Houses of Hope today helps families reconnect in a healing environment by using volunteers and donated beach homes in 12 communities.

“Rather than holding on to everything in my life, I decided to live my life with my arms outstretched,” she said. “I had the front-row seat to the goodness and the blessing of God and decided to listen.”

Since its launch in 2011, Little Pink Houses of Hope has served 93 families, said Patten-Coble, whose cancer is now in remission.

Each week the vibe is different because the families and the volunteers change, she said. But the stand-up paddleboard is always a powerful activity for patients.

“It’s very, very, empowering to do something that is physical and looks difficult,” Patten-Coble said. “The feeling like you are floating away — it’s very empowering.”

One of the moms who tried it was nervous and scared, Patten-Coble said, but her sons cheered her on. The woman, a stage four cancer patient, said, “That’s how I want my boys to remember me,” Patten-Coble said.

“That’s the power of these retreats. These women are making memories with their children they will never forget,” she said.

Another powerful element of the weeklong retreats is watching the shoulders of the husbands and caregivers drop and release all their burden and stress. Caregivers meet other caregivers who are facing the same challenges, which enables everybody to bond.

“We have a lot of women that do pass away and a lot of young men [who are husbands]. Now they have a support group,” she said.

The Little Pink Houses of Hope season runs roughly from the first week of April through end of November.

The organization is looking for volunteers to help expand its retreats to the Northeast, including Rhode Island, where Patten-Coble has family.

“So many people in the small beach communities and local community really come out to support [us],” she said. “We see the best of every town. The last thing we want is to have one more thing to worry about. So many families have the financial burden.”

Families can apply online for the beach retreat. According to the organization’s website, families must submit an application and a medical clearance for travel from their oncology team. Priority is given to families of women who are undergoing treatment for their breast cancer.

For the Pelosky family, it has been a rough couple of years that brought them to their Pink House.

Pelosky’s diagnosis in 2010 was part of an endless stream of tests and the agonizing wait for results that gave her sleepless nights.

There were surgeries and more waiting and more tests. Trips to the chemotherapy clinic, a daily morning ritual that lasted weeks, were brutal.

After several months, the stress from all the activity chipped away at the once serene family life Sherry had with husband Michael, a busy executive, and daughter Danielle, a college student.

“You are really just holding your breath. Everything about your day revolves around cancer,” Sherry said. “You really just are waiting and waiting on months on end. I was feeling very extremely apprehensive. I really feel we were walking on eggshells.”

They were trying to keep it together. Michael was working long hours to sustain finances and maintain normalcy.

“It was a reality check on what is just important in life and about how we could get through this,” Michael said. “It was a very emotional time.”

Danielle, 21, a student at the University of Rhode Island, was moving into a sorority house but also helped take care of her mom. Sherry said her daughter’s job was to concentrate on school. Danielle wanted to stay in the loop.

“It was weird. I was on a ‘need-to-know’ basis,” Danielle said. “I was trying to focus on school. It was like borderline impossible to focus and study hours on end.”

As challenging as it was at times — Pelosky had been diagnosed with invasive ductile carcinoma, a fairly aggressive form of breast cancer — Pelosky knew she had a few things in her favor.

“You see the same exact people, every day for six weeks, same time,” at chemotherapy treatments, she said. “People were in the waiting room. I saw a lot of women and they were by themselves.

“I have so much support. I have great friends and my parents and I thought maybe I could be a chemo buddy.”

Now the Peloskys come every year to a retreat to volunteer their time, greeting and supporting other families. By volunteering, it helps Sherry and her family to heal.

Michael Pelosky said so much time is spent thinking about the doctor’s appointments and the cancer.

“It just lightened everything up a little bit,” he said.

“You can never really get away from the cancer, but for that week, I didn’t really care,” Sherry said. “We didn’t talk about the cancer. We really went back to play. The beach has to be great memories.”

Additional information on how to apply for a retreat is available at www.littlepinkhousesofhope.orgcom

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