Thursday, July 05, 2012

I hope that everyone survived a blistering-ass hot FOURF of July yesterday. If not, HAHA you are a twat! Now I don't normally talk about Olympic sports here as I don't find them to be very interesting (especially track & field). However, a story broke last week that was resolved a few days ago and--go figure--I have a strong opinion about it.

Just as a refresher, during the American qualifiers for the women's 100 meter dash, there was a tie for third place between Jeneba Tarmoh and Allyson Felix. Now, even Jim Joyce could see that there was no tie between the two ladies but nevertheless it was deemed to be one. Since only the top 3 qualified to go to London, this presented quite a conundrum for good ol' 'merica. It was determined that there would be a run-off to see who was going to The Olympics and who was going home. This was to take place on Monday evening. It did not take place.

Jarmoh conceded the race (which she actually finished third in and was acknowledged as such until she wasn't anymore) to Felix on Monday morning and the run-off was scrapped. Jarmoh stated that since she was already participating in another event in London, she was OK with allowing Felix to run in the 100 meter dash in her stead. Many are deeming this to be great sportsmanship. Guess who isn't?

How stupid is this? These sprinters and runners train their whole lives for a shot at a gold medal and sacrifice a ton for this opportunity to run for your country. There is literally nothing else out there for fast runners after The Olympics. Why would you then just give up what you were so close to achieving? Yeah, it sounds like Jarmoh and Felix are pretty good friends and it is a nice thing to do, but this is so dumb. What kind of competitor just rolls over? Felix didn't earn this shot. It was given to her. In my personal opinion (Demetrious!), this is a cowardly move.

To me, it all comes down to playing the odds. If your goal is to win a gold medal, would you rather have two chances or one? This is basic math. Two is better than one (college degree is hard at work). I don't consider this to be a great example of sportsmanship--I consider Jarmoh to be afraid of losing.

Do you remember when Dut used to host his bi-weekly poker games which only lasted for a month and has not been spoken of again in the last three years? Well, we always used to play at least one hold 'em tournament. Sometimes, when it gets down to the final two, you may hear one of the finalists talk about scrapping the heads-up play and splitting the pot. That is a total pussy move. THERE SHOULD ALWAYS BE A CHAMPION. I would never do this because I'm a winner. Apparently, this exact same analogy can be taken to the track because Jarmoh just split the pot with Felix. Fuck that shit.

I don't plan on watching the track & field portion of The Olympics because it's boring and not erotic, but if I did, I would be rooting for both of these ladies to finish dead last in their events. If only because cowardice should be punished and not confused with sportsmanship. Sorry, ladies, but I wish you the worst. And I wish that Dut would host a poker night again. Homo.

Also awful from yesterday: ESPN. Thanks a lot for tape-delaying the Hot Dog Eating Contest because of Wimbledon but then headlining Joey Chestnut's sixth straight win on your website before you air it. Fucking assholes, you didn't deserve Erin Andrews anyway.

45 comments:

I'm not saying that you're wrong, old man, but is there some sort of Professional Sprint League that I'm not aware of? For runners, isn't the Olympics all that there is? Or are you just assuming that they will get into horse racing?

I was just thinking the same thing, Prime. Brady would crush these two!

It just feels like we simpletons were robbed of what should have been a pretty cool ten second event: a head-to-head run-off for a spot on the Olympic team. That would have been really sweet. But instead we gave everyone a participation ribbon.

I accept that challenge! I would run a blazing fast 40 today with all of the training I did over the fourth. Nothing shaves off a tenth of a second like 80 beers, eating half of a cow and running away from small/moderate explosions.

I'm still saying Brady runs in the deep fives shallow sixes on this 40 time that will happen one of these days.

You left out the best part about this story, G$. Justin Gatlin suggesting the tie be broken with a mud wrestling match. I'm sure at some point Gatlin has bitched about racial stereotypes/inequality in America which is why this is so hilarious. "Black men should never be persecuted against! SHUT UP BITCH!! GO MAKE ME A SAMMICH OR I'LL BUST YER GODDAMN FACE AGAIN!!!"

I was at Deja Vu years ago and they got out a kiddie pool for some "salad wrestling" between a few strippers. They just dumped like 10-15 bags of caesar lettuce and then a few bottles of Italian dressing into this pool and the whores "fought". One of them somehow cut her knee and had blood dripping down her leg. It was the least sexy thing that I've ever seen.

Point? Women wrestling is not nearly as erotic as you think it is. Take note of this, Justin Gatlin.

Brady, do you think that you would be better or worse at the 100 compared to the 40? Trick question--you will be awful at both.

Black women sports talk? No thanks. Instead, how about an ELITE story of Uncle Tom raycessism!

So after a fair amount of inebriation yesterday, a few friends and I went to the Hustler lounge to pick an awesome spot for the fireworks. Big titties, cold beer, Whitesnake on loop, and fireworks? God Bless Murica. One problem: 3pm is apparently too early for this.

Across the street on a pier was a pretty raucous sounding party. We go to check it out and it is an all day beach party being thrown and deejayed by OSUs very own Lil' Jon! Tons of women in bikinis or less! Not at all ghetto! Amazing view of the fireworks! 2002 Chappelle Show references! Count me in, Mr. Belding.

Say what you will about the man, he can put in a set. The last hour was filled with Nirvana, Guns & Roses, Poison, that Call me Maybe song (to which Jon says, Fuck you this is my shit), and Bruce Springsteen among others.

In the middle of a Red Hot Chili Pepper song a black guy tries to fight a white guy. Not on Lil Jons watch. He shuts down the whole show and starts yelling at the black guy. "Yo nigga, leave that white guy alone. Aint nobody here want to see you fight, we all having fun. Black guys, if a white guy bumps into you thats how they dance. Shits crazy. White people! Show thesr black people how you get down!" Followed by Smells Like Teen Spirit from Nirvana. Every black guy ran out of the crowd.