Monday, 11 July 2011

After my rant-filled post last week, and some very kind comments, I decided I just needed a break. A break from myself and my negative Nelly thoughts. This weekend I treated myself to a big Primark shop (I literally bought a whole new wardrobe!) and I arranged to meet a friend I'd not seen for a while in town for some lunch, drinks and a laugh. Just the kind of weekend I needed :)

So now, I need to come at things differently. Fed up days are always going to occur, but I cannot allow myself to feel that pent up about things when I don't exercise. I have to regain some positive momentum and get into a routine.

I haven't worked it all out and I don't have all the answers for myself but I am definitely feeling much better now. I'm going to re-read my PMA Week posts and see what I can learn from myself (I do talk sense sometimes!)

Friday, 8 July 2011

So today, I was stressed, bored, fed up, happy, then fed up again, knackered...and for all of those feelings I looked for something to eat. I haven't eaten a huge amount and for the most part it has been on the right side of healthy (or just 'not shit' to put it bluntly) but I know I've just eaten things for the sake of it. And now I'm annoyed with myself.

I'm annoyed that I haven't felt like exercising all week and because of that I have felt shit about myself and along with HATING work and feeling a bit lost at what to do, I just don't feel good...and because I don't feel good I think 'screw it!' and I don't feel like exercising - can you see the cyclical pattern?

I am SO sick of being overweight. I'm sick of making bad choices (or even worse, no choices and just idling along in life like a fat robot). I'm SOOO sick of reading about other peoples life-changing weight loss (particularly in Weight Watchers magazine - which I no longer buy) where they lost 120 stone in 5 months SIMPLY by cutting out the 4 blocks of lard they ate for breakfast and taking the stairs at work rather than the lift. I have to work so hard for every friggin' pound I lose (which, by the way I haven't lost one of those for quite some time). When I was going to the gym EVERY morning before work and sticking to my points, RELIGIOUSLY tracking, my biggest loss was still only 3lb (only? I'd kill for a 3lb loss now!!!!)

So yeah, I'm being mardy, but I just have to let this feeling out because it's being eating me up for a couple of weeks now.

Consistency is the key. So all I need to do is exercise most days and stop eating when I'm stressed/bored. Easy peasy innit?!

I think I'm going to have an early night. I'm going to do some Zumba tomorrow to get the consistency-ball rolling and hopefully shake off this de-motivated fug I'm currently in.