The older I get the more I realise the less I know

Well, this is weird. This is the first time I’ve sat down to write something for a really long time, too long for a blog that inexplicably still has some readers. For that, I thank you. Whenever I hear from one of you, it truly boosts my spirits.

Over the years of writing for this place, I’ve tried to make sure that the writing is future proof. Even still, whenever someone links an old post, especially one that’s been collecting dust over the years, I’ll flinch in embarrassment. I mean, god, there are posts from 2006! That young me and my opinions! Because I’m so much wiser now, right?!

Recently, I read that one of the challenges facing developers of artificial intelligence is in creating a machine that’s capable of forgetting trivial things in the same way that our minds will disregard memories of the boring things we repeat day in, day out. The truth is that I don’t remember writing a lot of these posts, but even still, they are precious to me. I poured myself into them, and after all that time spent tapping away at the keyboard, I see fragments of my life, my heart, flashing between the lines. I suppose that’s why they are embarrassing to read now, but never the less, they are the me at that time, too. I want to remember, and I want to keep adding to the story.

The older I get the more I realise the less I know. For this reason, I could never be a critic. There is no exact science to determining what’s good from what’s bad, it’s all relative to yourself at that time. I started out this blog attempting to critique anime, but over the years, it’s become more about using anime, film and music to better understand myself. The last year has been one big rush for me: I bought a place of my own, I began a new relationship, my work life has been hectic and challenging. I’m only now getting back to the point of being able to sit down and write again. Thank you for waiting.

***

Of anime, I’ve been keeping up with things but also becoming much more selective over what I’ll watch. Straight up, I’m burnt out on high-school anime after Your Lie in April broke me into a million tiny pieces (I must admit I shed a single tear watching it, and I don’t cry watching anything, but that poor cat,) Shingeki no Bahamut: Genesis was the Jack Vance-ian picaresque anime that I’ve always wanted, and Death Parade was like 90% dark chocolate, bitter and deep to taste with a barest hint of sweetness. Those three are the anime that I’d recommend more than anything else recently.

7 thoughts on “The older I get the more I realise the less I know”

Interesting! When you brought up the older you get, the less you know reminds me of U2’s song of “City of Blinding Lights”. I think there is so much truth in that! Even as we get older we don’t make sense of a lot. And while I see how some would not see the point in reviewing anime for me it is always a rewarding and fulfilling experience. I will probably continue to do more as I possibly can.

I hope so, Cassandra. I’m going to try hard to find the time and write up some thoughts on things. At the moment, I’m only really watching JoJo’s: Stardust Crusaders, and if I can’t find something to say about that, then I’ll keep on searching for a thought provoking series.

Just the other week I went through Makoto Shinkai’s 8cm p/sec and The Garden of Words with the intention of finding something to write about, but then I finished them feeling somewhat empty.

Mushishi s02 is staring me in the face right now. Deep down, I know that’s the series I should be watching! :)

Manga seems to be a more interesting scene at the moment. I am following a dozen ongoing series in the manga space, but nothing seems to excite me that much these days when it comes to anime. This season, Joker Game is about the only thing I can bear to watch. I took a peep at your recommendations but even that did not work for me – and you are already one of the last bastions of good taste in this space!

As for blogging, I shifted focus to something along the lines of “The Thinking Person’s Guide to Deep Japan”. http://goo.gl/0vU8MJ