toy

There’s a unique generational thing going on right now – the stuff that we enjoyed as kids is all cool again. I can’t think of many toys I had as a kid in the 1980s that represented brands and characters that my parents also loved as kids. The opposite is true for my son and I now – I can’t think of many brands and characters that my son and I don’t love together. This means that toy companies like Playskool are making toys for my son…but deviously so, they appeal to me too.

When my wife texted me a photo of the box I’d received from Hasbro, I was hardly able to make it through my work day. I knew it had G.I. Joe toys in it, so I knew I’d be reliving my childhood that night alongside my son.

These G.I. Joe toys were sent to me by Hasbro because of the new G.I. Joe Retaliation movie that I’m honestly not at all interested in. But toys and nostalgia do it for me. After ripping open the cardboard box, I found a press release and all I read was “blah blah blah G.I. Joe blah blah blah.” And of course, as I skimmed the press materials, I sing-songed “G.I. JOEEEEEEEEEEEEE” a quarter million times, which annoyed my wife and thrilled my son.

What I love about playing with my son the most is that although I often act like a kid myself, I now lack the simple sensibilities that my son has. I get bent out of shape about adult things, like using toys “correctly” or risking breaking something. My son constantly reminds me how to play, and these G.I. Joe toys have helped me get back to my toy-playing roots.

The New York Times‘ Stephanie Clifford did a great job discussing Mattel’s new move to appeal – not only to daughters, but also their fathers – with new Barbie construction sets.

The Mega Bloks Build N’ Style sets, launching 12/12/12 (creative!) will give children the opportunity to do something with Barbie that they couldn’t before – build Barbie’s mansion (relatively) brick-by-brick.

If you ever wanted to know how and why humanity is doomed to fail, look no further than the commercials interspersed during your kids’ favorite television shows. Though there’s been a recent resurgence of cool superhero stuff out there in toy stores, not all kid products are created equal. Among the newly-gendered LEGO sets, NERF sniper rifles and we-swear-its-not-just-marshmallows cereal commercials, you see just how low humanity can get.

How low? Well, let’s just put it this way: imagine everything you can exist without owning. Now take those ideas and make them worse.

Then head over to the next page for three prime examples (plus a bonus!) of why the meteor needs to end us sooner rather than later.

There was a story on io9 last week about all of the toy concepts that George Lucas originally rejected for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace – things like an inflatable Emperor’s throne, a Death Star basketball, or a Jabba the Hutt beanbag chair. (It’s kind of crazy to realize that Lucasfilm actually rejects ANY marketing tie-in or merchandising concept.) And, while I mourn for the Dagobah-themed pencil sharpener that I’ll never get to own, it did get me thinking about all of the toys as a kid that I used to dream about, but that never actually existed.

As a kid, I could never understand why toy companies hadn’t thought to make me the toys I REALLY coveted, toys like (and these will date me) an uber-detailed Ghostbusters proton pack, full-sized M.A.S.K. Matt Trakker mask, a remote-controlled time-travelling Delorean, a Bionic Commando grappling hook arm, or a full action figure set of the cast of The Misfits of Science. (I am a very old man.) In my mind, those all seemed like concepts that could EASILY become the best-selling toys in the world, so I just couldn’t grasp why I never saw any of those toys on the shelf at my local Toys R Us.