Alan Partridge Quotes

Top Alan Partridge quotes

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Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!

Alan isn't known for his subtlety, nor is he known for having a wide social circle. Combine, then, his having finally met a like-minded chap to go for a pint with and a chance encounter with said Lexus enthusiast from a distance in a car park and you get some beautiful, ear-splitting, Dan-based bellowing.

Stop getting Bond wrong!

In this world of ours, built as it is on shifting sands, a man needs a few things to cling to. For Alan, one of those is the James Bond franchise, from Roger Moore sporting a safari suit with an admirable degree of casuality to the lesser 007s. The last thing he needs is some berk mixing it all up and spoiling his Bond marathon. Some people...

Eat my goal!

Alan, of course, started out as a humble sports reporter before his love of chat saw him ascend the slippery slope of light entertainment. In his time he made many genre-defining announcements, including "that was liquid football", but only "Eat my goal!" inspired a song, by a band called Collapsed Lung. Sounds awful.

They're only the band The Beatles could have been

Alan's knowledge of music is awe-inspiring. His radio show plays everything from Chris Rea to Soft Cell and back, so it's no wonder he's more than happy to teach young upstarts a thing or two about proper bands. Like Wings. Honestly, the stuff these kids listen to today, most of it is just noise. Altogether now - JET!

Lynn - they're sex people

Yes, Alan is a man's man, a red-blooded alpha male who's not ashamed to take a sexy woman to an owl sanctuary or down a few rounds of Ladyboys. But that doesn't mean he's a moral vacuum. So next time you're thinking about offering him some sort of ruddy orgy think again. And for heaven's sake don't rub your fanny on him.