No one ever said going out at night was easy. It’s not easy. You need the right friends, the right destination, the right mode of transportation, the right outfit, and the right music to listen to while you’re getting ready.

I’m afraid I can’t help you find new friends. But I can help you with the music. You are a mere six songs away from the best night of your life. Just press play…

Track One – Do You Want To, by Franz Ferdinand

Obviously, the only way to start a night out is with a disco nap. When you wake up at 10 PM to the buzzing of your alarm, you may feel a little groggy. It was light out when you went to sleep, now it is pitch-black—disorienting, right? Franz Ferdinand can help. “When I woke up tonight I said I, I’m going to make somebody love me.” Okay, so you’ve woken up tonight. Now what are you waiting for? Go make somebody love you!

“I don’t want to go out, I want to stay in, get things done.” Look, you’re not the only one who’s thinking, “Hmm, maybe spending Friday night washing dishes in my pajamas is better than going out.” David Bowie is thinking the same thing. But you know what? You’re both wrong. It’s not better than going out. Brush your teeth, wash your face, and get a move on.

This is the last of the ‘excuses’ songs. “I would go out tonight, but I haven’t got a stitch to wear.” This problem has a solution. Take a deep breath, open your closet, and pick out some clothes. It doesn’t have to be the dress you bought yesterday. It doesn’t have to be the outfit you were planning to wear all day long. It just has to be clothes that, when you put them on and look at yourself in the mirror, make you want to dance. This is a good song, and if you don’t want to do at least a little shimmy to it, you are wearing the wrong outfit. Take it off and start over. Don’t waste time hanging up discarded options; that’s what your bed is for. Yes, they’ll wind up on the floor when you come home five hours from now, but with any luck you’ll be drunk enough that you won’t care.

This is an excellent shoe selection song. If you can’t dance the way you want to dance to this song, your shoes are probably too uncomfortable. Try on another pair. Again, it’s cool if your bedroom floor winds up littered with too-high heels—they’ll provide a nice landing pad for your clothes come 3 AM.

But this song works only if it’s Friday, obviously. This song is just depressing on a Monday. If you’re going out any other night of the week, try something like “You Only Live Once,” by the Strokes. Do your make-up. Stare deep into your own eyes and make kissy faces at the mirror. This is as good as you’re going to look all night, before wind and sweat and rain and time have their way with you. If you can’t fall in love with yourself right now, you probably need more eye make-up.

“Let’s get this party started right, let’s get drunk and freaky fly, you with me so it’s all right, we gonna stay up the whole night.” You heard the lady. It’s time to go. Grab your keys, grab your ID, grab your cell, and don’t look back. You're going to end up staying up the whole night!

Ideally, we can be inspired by Uffie’s lifestyle without having to dress like her the whole night long.