Exploring Gender Identity

Acceptance is Key… Revisited

by Sequoia Elisabeth on August 18, 2014

Transition is a journey, whether the transition is gender (identity) related, materially related, or spiritually related. Preparation helps all go smoothly, while being ready to handle the unexpected becomes a valued skill. Learning to accept what you have and working with it is both the beginning and the end of the journey. The “what you have” is dynamic as is the journey. So let’s begin.

First of all find out who you are. This is not as simple as it may seem. The person you see in the mirror is not necessarily who you are. The body is simply a vehicle rather than who you are. Just like your car is not who you are, neither is your body. Getting to the point where you are happy (accept) with the image in the mirror and with yourself is sometimes a long road. There is no right way to get there, so leave the GPS at home and use your intuition instead.

Introspection comes easily for some of us and much harder for others, so if you are one of those who does not like to look within, then this will be even more important to you, although you may need to get help.

The journey goes something like this, look in the mirror, what do you see? Ok, this is your vehicle. It was given you for a reason and most likely that reason is that it will take you where you need to go, not necessarily where you want to go. Accept this gift! Right here and now, STOP thinking you know where you are going. Stop thinking you know who you are. Let go of any preconceptions you may have acquired. Each day is a new day and one with the potential to discover your true self.

Now that you have discovered your vehicle, go take it for a ride. Test the cornering ability, the acceleration, and the stopping distance. See how good you are at changing situations, demands on your services or skills. On the road keep a notebook with you and record your best features, skills, and attributes. Get to know what you are good at and what you need work on. Accept where you are as perfect in this moment, all is well.

You have a long list now and are ready to pursue this even further. Stay focused on the desirable features, skills, and attributes, the ones you put on your list and have already accepted. Staying motivated at this level is about focusing on your goodness and forgiving all else. If you noticed any undesirable attributes on the list you can acknowledge them, thank them for being a part of you, and then let them go. To symbolize this write them down on a piece of paper. In a safe location, burn the paper while focusing on gratitude – be grateful for the learning they afforded you. Everything in your life serves a purpose so be grateful while at the same time do not get attached to them. For instance, fat is often a shield we use to protect us from perceived danger or undesirable situations. Notice I did not say “real” danger. Once you become comfortable with the situations in your life and can accept your gifts of physical beauty and vigor then life supports this reality. It all starts with your acceptance and willingness to see the beauty no matter your perceptions.

What is next for you? Be optimistic and joyful, you have just let go of all your troubles. The process continues and goes deeper each time. Accept and repeat. Life will evolve and get better and better! Before you know it love and acceptance will exist in you on a deeper level than you even knew existed! As this occurs your experience in the outer world conforms and reflects this reality. The only real way to change the world is to change yourself! The world is just you reflected!

Remember a few things along the way. Everything happens for a reason, resistance is futile, and everyone is going through a similar journey, so give them what you would wish in return, acceptance. Joy is in the journey!