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Fantasy Elegy

[Season Recap: My team, “A-2-the-mf-K bitches,” finished at the top of my $$$ league to close out the regular fantasy season. After my Bye Week, I was matched up against “Manobili” (previously known as “IHateDonNelson”) in the semi-finals. He’d beaten me in both regular season matchups this year, but I was still confident I could win this thing.

Last Day Recap: Fast forward to sometime mid-today. Manobili was done for the day, and was up 5-4. Matt Barnes had stupidly gotten thrown out against Memphis. Out of all of the cats I was behind in, only one was still in reach–Assists. I needed just two more assists to take the cat, and still had three players playing: Al Jefferson (one half left), James Harden (one half left), Danilo Gallinari (four quarters left). So doable, right?]

In fact, it so was not. Al Jefferson turned into an offensive black hole in the fourth quarter, taking many shots and making few while not passing. Harden managed to do everything but pass. And Gallinari, who kept my hopes alive by getting his first assist early in the fourth (to tie the cat), failed to get another as I watched the stupid game with bated breath and pounding heart.

[Because Manobili had beaten me twice during the regualar season, he owned the tiebreaker. So for the season, I was the best in the league, but 0-3 against him. Know what I’m saying? I’m Chris Paul, and he’s DWill.]

ONE ASSIST!!! MY CROWN LOST DUE TO ONE LOUSY ASSIST!!! Did I mention that assists (18-4-0) was my strongest category all year? Goodbye, season. I am pissed. As you can probably tell, because I’m now rambling.