Storyline: Based upon the acclaimed comic book and directed by , Kingsman: The Secret Service tells the story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency's ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

The problem with "Kingsman: The Secret Service" is that it can't decide whether it's a spy movie, or a movie about violent killers, or a comedy. It tries to do some of all three. It partially succeeds as a spy movie, owing a lot to old James Bond films. (And did anyone catch the reference to "Get Smart?") And granted, there are a few funny moments. But the violence overwhelms everything else. There's plenty of gratuitous killing, and it's not the least bit subtle. If that's your cup of tea, prepare to have a great time. For me, I think the story would be have been better if 90% of the fight scenes had been left on the cutting room floor.

Plot-wise, it's completely predictable. A few minutes into the movie, we can already guess which two characters would end up in a fight to the finish at the end.

Very mild spoiler alert: The movie ends with the audience essentially being mooned. Thanks a lot, guys. I'd gladly return the favor if I knew you were watching.

One last point: Some user reviews have complained that the F-word is used quite a bit. It is, but really, is that the most offensive thing here? The entire premise of the dastardly project, and the implication that almost every world leader mindlessly buys into it, is far worse. Not to mention the almost nonstop display of blood and guts. Some of the killings are presented in an almost comical way and needn't be taken seriously, but most of it is just grossly, and needlessly, excessive.

2015-02-19

If You're A Gamer

It's a comic book shooter with a great story. It runs a bit too long because of its over the top violent content. There's a good strain of political irony involved here too. In the name of saving the planet from global warming, the evil villain seeks to cull the herd by turning everyone into a homicidal maniac. But Samuel L. Jackson's aside to the camera says it all, "It isn't that kind of movie." Truly my I can say my head nearly exploded over the preceding scene, and stopped only because I realized it was indeed a comic book shooter. If you're going to enjoy a movie like this you have to give yourself up to the experience.

Otherwise, I agree it's revolting.

2016-04-20

If you doubt that movies today are made for adolescent boys...

If you doubt that movies today are largely made for adolescent boys (or men who still think like them) then you haven't seen Kingsman: The Secret Service.

And the fact that this film did well at the box office makes me think that the Samuel L. Jackson character, Richmond Valentine, is right about humanity's bleak prospects.

I feel dumber for having seen Kingsman. In particular there is a lecherous- even predatory- interaction at the very end between the lead character "Eggsy" and a Scandinavian princess that is a gratuitous contrivance to denigrate and sexualize a relatively strong female character.

The message in this movie is that the world can only be saved by wealthy white men who have avoided the estate tax and that the true evildoers are those who believe in climate change....oh, and Barack Obama's head explodes - all of which kind of torpedoes the notion of liberal Hollywood.

The film has a promising start in the direction of James Bond for the 8-second attention-span world. Initially the action is so silly and over the top and the characters so absurdly two-dimensional that it's hard to take it as more than mindless popcorn fun.

There's also some witty dialog between Colin Firth's Galahad and Sam Jackson's Valentine that menacingly send up traditional spy-movie tropes. A few bracingly cold-hearted twists occur during the new-agents' training that let you know the movie will not be trafficking in many feel-good clichés.

But then Kingsman devolves into an unimaginative morass of dehumanization and schlock and eventually the film becomes little more than a first-person-shooter video game. Literally, there is a scene in the film's climax where the action briefly switches to Eggsy's perspective as he runs down a corridor shooting henchmen that is indistinguishable from a commercial for a combat shooter video game.

Firth and Jackson are likable. Michael Caine is- well Michael Caine being an Englishman. As Eggsy, Taron Egerton is entirely interchangeable with any other young actor and equally as forgettable.

I have often thought that Hollywood serves as a pretty good counter-argument to the notion of free markets naturally producing the highest quality to meet the public's demand. That Kingsman: Secret Service did well at the Box Office and will no doubt spawn bigger, louder, dumber, more violent and retrograde sequels only serves as a depressing reminder that crap sells and sells well.

2015-06-07

Fast-paced action with loads of humor- Awesome!!!

I had the privilege of seeing this at an advanced screening and I was already looking forward to seeing this film and it exceeded all my expectations. Knowing that this film was directed by Matthew Vaughn(Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class) I had a pretty good idea that this film was going to be really good. If you love fast-paced, stylish, humorous, and all around awesome flicks, then this is a definite must see! The action was amazing and I really loved watching Colin Firth kick some ass! Samuel L. Jackson was very fun to watch as a villain as well. I don't think I've had that much fun watching a film in a really long time. The way the creators put a different spin on the superhero genre in Kick-Ass, was very much how they put a spin on the Spy movie genre in Kingsman: The Secret Service. I can guarantee a film like this won't win any major awards but I can guarantee that you will have an entertaining time with this film. Must see 10/10

2015-01-15

My Life is Worse after Seeing this Movie

The best thing about this film was the time before I ever watched in when with a naive child-like faith I believed that there was still the possibility of an action film that didn't make me wish I could go back in time and slap myself in the face to avoid watching this truly horrible film.

At first I thought I could attempt to overlook the totally idiotic and unnecessary profanity in hopes that the action scenes and over all plot would make it worth while. But after a while (and by "a while" I mean the first 10 minutes) it just seems like a bunch of prepubescent children were given permission to swear like the big kids, and for no apparent reason are running around screaming the f word.

A man sliced cleanly in half in the first scene should have given me a fair warning. The violence wasn't laughable or gruesome or realistic. It was stupid. I've seen episodes of sponge bob square pants where poorly sketched characters slap each other that had more of a positive effect on me than this did.

Even the overall plot was dull and predictable.

I don't know what sort of blackmail was used on some of these great actors to get them to agree to this truly pathetic production. I feel certain it was created for idiots by idiots.

If you want to watch a truly horrible movie in every way, this one is for you.

2015-08-03

This movie commits the unforgivable sin...

It's outrageously stupid. I have read all of the bad reviews currently posted for the Kingsman, and none of them hit the right mark. The movie is violent, raunchy, campy, sexist, racist, and vulgar. And that's all OK! But does it have to be so incredibly stupid? Honestly, does it? And why is the CGI so incredibly terrible. Last time I checked this is 2015, not 1985. I usually don't care too much for special effects, but there is a given level of competence which I expect a film to achieve, before it just becomes distracting. Kingsman has CGI on the level of a cheep SyFy channel special feature.

The acting on the part of the star, Taron Egerton, is terrible. Every time he is on the screen it makes you want to punch him in the face, especially every time he opens his mouth. Same is true about Samuel L. Jackson, who played Valentine. That entire performance felt like Samuel L. Jackson asked him self, "self, how would SNL pay this part, if they were trying to make fun of me?" Then he used his fertile imaginations, imagined it, and played it exactly like that. It's Samuel L. Jackson acting out a caricature of Samuel L. Jackson playing the role of Valentine. I think the man seriously is just screwing with us at this point.

Truly a terrible movie, not unlike the The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, only with UK hoodlum playing the main role.

2015-02-22

No, A total embarrassment

Not that funny at all. It was a total embarrassment. This was one of those movies in which I wish I could have put a bag over my head while walking out the theater because I was too embarrassed for people to see that I had gone to this movie. The good ol "F" word seems to make up most of the script. The movie was filled with stupid scenes. Very little of anything original came out of this film. I thought the scene with Freebird blasting would never end. This was just plain embarrassing. Tell the writers and producers to please make some better movies than this. I'm really trying to forget I went to this movie. So this gets two thumbs down.

2015-02-19

Missed potential, gratuitous crap

This movie could have been great, but it squanders all it's potential. It relishes low-class ugliness. The film tries so hard to be a clever, deconstructive meta-tale, forever winking at the audience about its silly story, that it metas itself into insignificance. Mr. Vaughn has no interest in, or perhaps understanding of, violence as a cinematic tool. He doesn't use violence; he squanders it. Ultimately, there's little to care about.

Kingsman is like a high-speed collision between a Jaguar and a jaywalking soccer hooligan. It's ridiculously out of balance, and when you're stuck in the middle, it doesn't seem so funny. If you like really bad pulp fiction, this movie is for you. Otherwise steer clear of it.

2015-06-30

Terribly Misleading Trailer

Hard to sit through, and terribly misleading. It's a shame that such content can be shown in our theaters, commemorating death, advocating women as sex symbols or damsels in distress, and portraying mass murder as a 'cool action scene'. The first third of the movie has great action scenes that one would expect from a spy film. Easy to compare to the Bond films, however, as the movie progressed, the entire validity of the characters' morals were flushed down the drain. I and my two other adult friends had to cover our eyes and grimace at many scenes and we left all agreeing that we did not sign up for that sort of film. The trailer did an awesome job at capturing my excitement, then the movie did an equally great job of shattering that excitement. I stress, please watch at your own discretion.

2015-02-17

One of the worst films I have seen for several decades

It's appalling on every level.

Two dimensional characters, shocking acting, an utterly fake working class character cynically shoe-horned in to broaden the audience demographic. An absurd lisp, a pure cliché "English Gentleman" out of central casting and yet another phoned-in performance from the reliably awful Michael 'can-I- have-my-cheque-now-please' Caine. Even the violence is tedious.

It's a mark of something truly dreadful when even Mark Strong looks poor.