Posts Tagged ‘ph1’

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun would like to address some of the serious issues raised with regard to phone hacking allegations made in recent days. We would like to wholeheartedly apologise for any wrongdoings that may or may not have taken place in the past by people who weren’t us. It is with the deepest regret that we recognise that a number of our stories may have involved the use of illegal phone hacking to gain information about pretend people’s lives, which none of us did. As a result Rock, Paper, Shotgun Ltd. has decided it is only appropriate to shut down The Sunday Papers, after 138 extraordinary years as the internet’s most popular round-up of games-related stories. While we were once proud and upstanding, we recognise that we have flopped and lost our way.

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Is Max Payne back on drugs? It looks that way to us, after eye witnesses saw him stumbling out of London’s popular club, ROAR. Close friends told RPS of how they’d seen Max arrive already out of it, before hitting on various waitresses as the evening went on. One friend of Payne’s told us,

“He was out of control, throwing back pills every few minutes, and I thought his recovery was going so well. Right, hope all’s well. I’ll try to catch you later, as my battery’s going.”

Rumours that the pill-popping ex-cop will be checking back into rehab have yet to be confirmed.

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Rock, Paper, Shotgun has uncovered information that suggests sleazy Half-Life star Gordon Freeman did have an affair with Alyx after all. And the cold-hearted scoundrel then broke up with her on her birthday night, at a party attended by her closest friends and family. Friends of Alyx have explained to RPS that the poor girl was devastated, as the bearded so-called “hero” walked out on her without saying a word. She is said to be recovering with her best friend Barney. We’ve contacted Freeman for comment, but so far the heart-breaker has had nothing to say.

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Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare soldiers are reporting to families that they’re massively under-supplied and being forced to use old equipment from Medal Of Honor games. In conversations leaked to Rock, Paper, Shotgun, it has become clear that forces based in Azerbaijan are struggling to stay ahead in the combat, with enemy soldiers far better equipped for the battles. Reports of extensive casualties coming from the warzones are being blamed by family members on these shortages, arguing that the government needs to send over more experience points immediately, along with all available perks. It was also said that the soldiers missed their mums, and they’d call them again later to see if they were back. RPS says: come on government – our boys need your support NOW.