Chicago mom: What to say when baby just isn't cute

By Rebecca Little

Member of the Chicago Parent Blog Network

2/4/14 10:18 AM

No one wants to say it out loud, but we all know
it: Not all babies are beautiful, especially in those early weeks.
Some look like aliens. Or John Malkovitch. Or cross-eyed hamsters.
My mom called my second son Benjamin Button for the first month of
his life because he, admittedly, had a little old man look about
him. (Fortunately, that sorted itself out by week six.) So what do
you do when your friend's new progeny has a face for
radio?

I can tell you from experience that saying, "Oh,
that cone head will resolve soon enough," does not go over great.
That famous "Seinfeld" episode suggested using the word
"breathtaking," but here's a list of other suggestions, just in
case. (Note: If you hear some of these applied to your child, don't
get too suspicious. Your baby is beautiful. Everybody thinks so . .
.)

Here's a list of 10 suggestions that skirt outright
lying:

1.) What a cute outfit!

2.) Ohhhh . . . look at him!

3.) Look how cute her little hands are!

4.) Well, isn't he sweet.

5.) Look at all that hair!

6.) What a happy baby.

7.) She looks just like you!

8.) What a cute little smile!

9.) Look how blue/brown/green those eyes
are!

10.) There are babies, and then there's YOUR
baby.

Have another go-to phrase of your own? Share it in
the comments.

Rebecca Little, a native Chicagoan, loves discovering new ways to keep her two very active boys entertained lest they resort to spackling heirloom furniture or flushing toy trains down the toilet - not that those are real examples. Follow her at PinwheelChicago.com.