That's right, even your eyeballs aren't good enough on their own anymore.

Someone once said that the eyes are the window to the soul. That guy must not have been familiar with "chronic bitchface," which is when your resting facial expression makes you look like you want to set things on fire. Thankfully, now there's a solution for those of us who have to constantly reassure our friends and coworkers that we're not upset.

Having to wear glasses is a hassle that far too many of us live with on a daily basis. Sure, there's the promise of corrective surgery, and the ubiquitous offer of contact lenses, but regardless of the option, it's something with which to deal. For those of us unable to finagle corrective surgery, there are only glasses or contacts, and contacts can be annoying. Luckily, Gizmine has Star Wars eyewear for anyone that wants to look chic but still wear glasses. The two don't always mix, after all.

I've always been able to count on my eyes to do two things, be bad and get worse. Pretty soon, though, kids may no longer have to worry about the second one. A team of scientists from the State University of New York (SUNY) College of Optometry is set to unveil their prototype for a new sort of contact lens that changes the shape of the wearer's eyes, preventing their nearsightedness from getting worse.

According to a recent study published in The Lancet, up to 90% of Asian schoolchildren are nearsighted -- another way of saying they have myopia. If it wasn't already a stereotype, it is certainly fast on its way to becoming one. The cause for such an epidemic is a somewhat unlikely culprit yet a dastardly one all the same: Increasing educational pressure. Yes, learning will make you go blind.

There have been rumors for a while, but now it's official: Google is working on a real-life heads-up display in the form of Internet-enabled smart glasses and calling the endeavor "Project Glass." Just as you'd imagine, the glasses aim to bring the web to you by overlaying an interface on your daily life and allowing you to interact with it via voice and eye movement. Aside from the confirmation that this is a project in development and a optimistic little "look how awesome this will be" video, there's not much more information available. Of course, that really just means there is plenty of room for your imagination to run wild.

For the past twelve years, PixelOptics has been developing the emPower glasses, electronic glasses that change their level of focus when prompted via a thin layer of liquid crystal contained within the lenses. A godsend for people who wear bifocal lenses, the emPower glasses switch focus, activating the reading prescription, when the wearer either moves their head downward as if they were reading or by simply touching the frame.

The emPower glasses have three settings -- automatic, manual on and manual off -- in order to give the wearer full control over their prescription maneuvering. The glasses employ a battery with an eight hour charge, though thankfully, the battery will only be used when the wearer actually switches focus.

Though the above picture doesn't exactly show the height of eyewear fashion, PixelOptics promises that the glasses will be manufactured in all prescriptions, styles, shapes, sizes and colors, once the glasses are ready to roll out to the general consumer, which is aimed for this summer. Unfortunately, the glasses and battery charger will burn a $1,000 hole in our pockets at the time of release.

Here's a solution for a problem you may not have known even existed: Karen Kavett and Sam Rudge have teamed up to create 2D glasses, which 'remove' the third dimension from 3D movies and media.
That is, if you walk into a 3D theater screening Avatar wearing 3D glasses, you'll see the movie in 3D; walk into the theater wearing regular glasses and everything will look blurry. Walk into the theater wearing 2D glasses, however, and you'll see the film in exactly two glorious dimensions, which, incidentally, is one more dimension than the characters in Avatar have. (Hey-o!)
The diagram below shows how they work:

Today in cunning legal strategies: The New York Daily News reports that defense lawyers in the state have become fond of what they call the "nerd defense," which apparently consists of having the defendants wear glasses.
Yes, this works on some juries:

Research has shown glasses generally go a long way with jurors. A 2008 study found specs led to more acquittals.
"We found that eyeglasses tended to make the defendant look more intelligent and less physically threatening to jurors," said Michael Brown, the SUNY Oneonta psychology professor who conducted the study. "It's the whole idea of presenting yourself as intelligent and a little emasculated."
Jurors say the ruse works.
"I don't think of someone with glasses as being a psycho killer," said one potential juror in an upcoming murder trial. "I'd wear them too if I was in their shoes."

Rogue journalist Spider Jerusalem had a set of oddly-shaped glasses that snapped pictures. I've always wanted them even if they didn't snap pictures, simply because Spider Jerusalem is awesome, rogue journalism is awesome, and ridiculous-looking glasses that let me display my love for Transmetropolitan would be awesome. It turns out Polaroid actually made a set of glasses that snap pictures, which is awesome, but they're the product of Lady Gaga's tenure as Polaroid's creative director, which is less awesome, but not nearly as less awesome as the glasses being called "Grey Label by Haus of Gaga." Oh well.