Another close encounter of the natural kind, reported by Raindancer
of North Oaks: “Nature’s little things can be hugely entertaining:

“Friday afternoon I was watching a butterfly investigate each marigold bloom in my garden. Then a hummingbird came and flew close circles around the butterfly for several minutes. She didn’t bother the butterfly. I’ve always thought that we should never underestimate the intelligence of other animals, or their empathy. The hummer might have been admiring the butterfly’s pretty wing design — or maybe showing off her own aerial agility.”

Where were you then?

Man Step, Mankind Leap Division (responsorial)

A Lady Who Loves Little People: “Recent stories about the first moon walk, and how people managed to watch it no matter where they were, made me think about an experience I had as a teacher in the inner city.

“A couple of years after that monumental event, I was showing my class some laminated, display-quality photos of the mission when a 12-year-old boy blurted out: ‘That didn’t happen! No one can walk on the moon.’ Even with pictures, he truly believed that I had made the whole thing up.

“The incident taught me one of the most important truths that teachers need to know: There is very little that you can assume every child knows. If a 12-year-old can be ignorant of the moon walk, can you imagine what other important information he might be missing?

“School is back in session for almost every student, and teachers have the enormous task of figuring out how to teach everything in their curriculum in just nine months. It becomes even more challenging when they also have to squeeze in all the lessons that many children are expected to know, but for various reasons do not.

“Good luck to all teachers and students in the new school year. Some days might seem as difficult as putting a man on the moon; however, the rewards can be just as great, too.”

Life as we know it

Back to School Division

The MOM in Stillwater: “I cried every time one of our four kids started kindergarten. The kids were happy to go, but I knew it was a milestone.

“Since I am retired, I have been involved with caring for our grandtwins. They will turn 5 in September and are too young for kindergarten, but will attend full-time preschool at the elementary school starting Tuesday. I feel sentimental, but realize those two grandkids are ready. Roman experienced his first bee sting while on vacation a week ago. His sister, Zoe, has been terrified of bees and, when she saw one, swatted it away from her. It bit her brother. He took it like a superhero. (He prides himself on being her protector.) When I took care of them Tuesday, he couldn’t wait to tell me all he had learned about bees. ‘There are five kinds of bees, Grandma. I was bitten by a yellowjacket.’ (He named the other four.) ‘Some have stingers. Some bite repeatedly. Some die after stinging.’ Both kids then told the story in their journals, complete with illustrations in which the bee was almost the size of the knee it bit. They also print and spell most words by sounding them out.

“They are ready for school. Just not sure I am. I will miss the Tuesdays I care for them.

“On the bright side, our youngest son and his wife have their first child due in a couple weeks, and I volunteered to help with child care. I think the good Lord knew I needed another one to cuddle.

“Since the parents chose not to know the baby’s gender and are keeping name choices a secret, I refer to the baby as B.O.B. — Baby On Board. Can’t wait to meet you, Bob, but dread the day you board that bus for school.

“So, grandparents and parents of kids headed off for the first time: Keep calm and carry on. We will survive this.”

Life as we know it

Sneaking In Division

IGHGrampa: “In Bismarck in the ’50s, the Capital Theater, on Main Street, was where we went for the Saturday movie.

“Some kids liked to sneak in without paying. One way was to have one member of their group pay to get in. When the theater darkened for the movie, he’d sneak over to the rear exit and open it to let his friends in. That didn’t often work, because the theater staff was wise to the trick and usually stationed someone by the exit door to watch for illegals.

“One kid came up a clever trick. When the previous showing was over and a crowd was streaming out, he’d just hunch down a little and walk backward through the crowd into the theater. Exiting people knew what he was doing, and some even helped him by parting to walk around him. I don’t remember if the theater staff ever caught on to the trick.”

Everyone’s a copy editor!

The Saint Paul Snail: “The 8/31/2013 issue had an article on Page 4A with the headline ‘Watch out, weeds.’ The third paragraph starts: ‘The goats will spend about two weeks chewing through five acres of wildlife near the Minnesota River….’

“My unabridged dictionary defines ‘wildlife’ as undomesticated animal species. Unless these are carnivorous goats, I don’t think they will be eating any wildlife, at least not on purpose.

“Surely there was enough room in the article to use the slightly longer word ‘vegetation,’ instead.

“Of course, if these are carnivorous goats, I will be in great fear of their escape.”

Our times

Katharine With One Dog Only: “I was driving down the freeway Friday when all the warning lights on my dashboard, including ones I didn’t know I had, came on at once. I thought, perhaps, it was the Rapture. But it was just an electrical fault, fixed in 58 minutes at what used to be Tousley Ford and is now AutoNation, which sounds like the title of a book decrying the American dependence on cars.”

Hmmmmmmmm

Here’s our Official Late Night Talk Show Monitor, The Retired Pedagogue of Arden Hills: “In an attempt to relieve the consternation afflicting IGHGrampa regarding the inconsistencies he has observed in Jimmy Kimmel’s appearance, I offer this as a possible solution:

“Last week (broadcast dates: August 26-30), Jimmy’s programs were reruns. In addition, the show scheduled for Monday, September 2, with Harrison Ford as the main guest, is a rerun from Wednesday, August 21.

“Another factor to consider is this: Reruns may not appear in sequence, which may explain the facial-hair inconsistency.

“In regard to Jimmy’s black eye: The show in which he explained it was originally broadcast on June 24.

“One way to determine whether or not a show is ‘new’ is to listen to the topical references in the monologue. Jokes that are not ‘current’ could indicate a repeat episode.”

BULLETIN BOARD SAYS: Or a joke-writing staff in decline.

Our neighbors, ourselves

Elvis: “What better way to spend your Labor Day holiday? One neighbor up the street decided Monday was the day to pull the snowblower out of the garage, fill it with gas and start it up.

“Elvis is not ready for winter.”

Our theater of seasons

Miss Kitty of the Midway: “Last week was unbearably hot — and when you found out the heat index, it was even worse.

“Cat Dillon and I were watching a bull-riding event this weekend that was in Oklahoma. The temperature was 101, and the heat index was 100. Of course the humidity was 22 percent.

“Quite a difference from our heat indexes of last week. I didn’t know you could have a heat index that is lower than the actual temperature. Probably not in Minnesota.”

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