24 October 2012

...for reminding me that if I actually checked WoW Insider/MMO Champ once in a while I would see all the crazy cool patch notes! You'll want to skip right to the Pet Battles section, I'm sure.

They are: adding more pet slots, integrating several of the "enhanced pet journal" addon features, ADDING MORE PETS, and adding RARE CANDY!!!!! Well it's not exactly like Rare Candy and can, in fact, delete levels from your trained pet, but it increases the quality to uncommon or rare! Also, stuff is going on at the Darkmoon Faire! NEW PATCH NEW PATCH!!!

19 October 2012

Weipon woke, having spent the last 8 hours dozing in the back of the farmer's cart, jostled from any real sleep before it could begin. She yawned and stretched, feeling irritable, but put a good face on as the farmer came around to help her down.

"The Singing Pools are just down this hill," he told her, gesturing to the path. "I'm going to keep on to my farm."

"Thank you very much for your generosity," Weipon said politely. She bowed as he pulled away, then stumped down the hill, stretching cramped muscles as she went.

Trees rose up around her, knitting together thickly overhead and casting the pools in deep shadow. The early morning chill became downright cold as she approached a house at the bottom of the hill. Several pandaren were already awake and gathered outside chatting or preparing to go to work. An enormous panda, seated casually on a low chair and surrounded by admiring children, looked up at her curious face.

"A stranger! Come, friend, what can we do for you?"

With a grateful smile, Weipon made her way towards him. "I'm looking for Aysa Cloudsinger. I think she's expecting me; I was sent by Master Shang Xi."

The pandaren wrinkled his nose in thought. "Yes, Aysa passed by here on her way to the Singing Pools. That would make you...Weipon Silkbrush?" he chanced with a grin.

"Right!" she confirmed.

"Well, Aysa is just down this hill behind me. She said she would be meditating. If you're going down to the pools, might I ask a favor? I'm looking for a few strong reeds. If you could grab a few while you're out there, I'd really appreciate it. Just bring 'em to Jojo Ironbrow!"

She located the pool Jojo had indicated and guessed that the pandaren seated on the flat rock in the center was Aysa. Bracing herself for icy water, she stepped into the pool. With a woosh and a splash, her nose was suddenly inches from the water and peering over black, furry paws. Weipon emitted a terrified squeak, which attracted the attention of the other woman in the pool.

"It's all right;" Aysa soothed. "It's just the water. If you come up on the rock, you'll change back."

Weipon hastily scurried to the rock, and sighed with relief when she shot back up to her normal height. She scrutinized her hands, confirming that not a hair was out of place.

"You must be the student that Master Shang sent." Aysa said. She leveled a considering gaze at Weipon.

The subject of her scrutiny tried very hard not to fidget, and stilled the impatient questions that bubbled up while she waited.

After a long moment, Aysa spoke again. "In the pool on the other side of the bridge, Tu Shui students are training. Watch them spar, or join them if you like. Then, I want you to ring the meditation bell in the center of the pool and reflect on what you've learned. Oh, and be mindful that many of the pools have the same curious qualities as this one." Instructions given, Aysa resettled into her meditation pose.

Weipon hesitated, wanting to ask about finding the spirits but not wanting to seem impertinent. She pulled herself together, bowed, and stepped back into the water. This time she was prepared for the rush as she was abruptly transformed into a skunk.

The other pool was filled with balancing poles, and Weipon could see students leaping back and forth between them. Some of them were sparring, although they mostly appeared to be trying to make their opponent fall into the water. Gathering herself, Weipon leaped onto the nearest pole, then hopped to the next, making her way to the center pillar.

She rang the bell, appreciating the tone, and settled herself beside it to meditate as instructed. Meditating had never really been a skill of hers. Soon, she was humming quietly to herself, contemplating the students sparring around her. She wondered what Aysa was trying to accomplish through her meditation. Surely they should be trying to find the elements?

The gentle lap of the water against the poles and the sleepless night soon had Weipon dozing. Her head nodded once...twice...she slumped bonelessly to the side, waking up as she splashed gracelessly into the pool. There was the familiar woosh, only this time she croaked! Now wide awake, she began to hop towards the bank, but was interrupted by a pair of long, spindly legs.

She followed the legs up to see a very hungry crane staring at her. Weipon gurgled. The crane squawked. As Weipon dashed towards the bank, the crane lashed out, attempting to snap her up. She let out an indignant croak and hopped even faster, finally diving onto the bank and back into her own body. The crane, momentarily confused, became even angrier to discover its meal had disappeared. It attacked, and Weipon quickly eliminated it with her staff.

Weipon wanted to return to Aysa and get things moving, but she suspected that the stoic woman would want her to take a long time, to show she had seriously meditated. She decided to collect reeds for Jojo instead.

An appropriate amount of time later, she returned to the pool where she had met Aysa. The monk was standing on the bank with an old man, and Weipon had the undignified task of crossing the pool as a skunk in order to reach them.

Aysa gave her a look that suggested she knew Weipon had not meditated sufficiently. "This is Grandpa Liang. He used to play with Shu, the spirit of water, and has an idea to lure him out."

Grandpa Liang looked very friendly, with his wide smile and greying whiskers. "I must emphasize how long ago it was that we played, but I used to bring Shu a Sun Pearl from the bottom of one of the pools each time we met. I think if you did that, he might come out to play again."

Aysa dictated her plan carefully to Weipon, who bit back increasingly impatient responses. Finally, she was released, and within minutes was dropping a slimy golden pearl into the pool where Shu was said to be hiding.

She heard a child's laughter and was suddenly sprayed with a jet of water from behind. Weipon turned, but Shu was already flitting across the water, giggling mischievously. Across the pool, a bubbling puddle appeared, and remembering Grandpa Liang's description, she ran to stand in it. The bubbles erupted, shooting Weipon high into the air. She landed with a satisfying splash, and Shu shrieked with delight. After several repetitions, the water calmed enough for Weipon to call out, "Shu! Master Shang Xi is looking for you! How would you like to go to the Temple of Five Dawns and see your other spirit friends?"

Shu considered this offer, idly drawing ripples around himself. Finally, he agreed with a wave that swept Weipon all the way to the edge of the pool. She stood, looked at her sodden clothes, and gave up on being dry.

When they met Aysa, she was reading a hastily-written note with a displeased look. "There's been a change of plans, Ms. Silkbrush," she said, grimacing. "It seems that Ji has found Wu Guo, but is having trouble waking him. He...thinks Shu might be able to help." She sighed the sigh of the long-suffering. "He's very hasty, but I have considered his plan and it will likely work. He's at the Dai Lo farmstead, not far from here. You can probably find a farmer to give you a lift-"

Before she could finish, Shu had raised a mighty tidal wave, sweeping Weipon helplessly up and away from Aysa. Surprised, Weipon called out to the other woman before she was out of sight, "I'll meet you at the Temple of Five Dawns!"

The wave surged forward, carrying Weipon away from the Singing Pools and down the hard-packed track that led to the farmstead. What would have taken half a day or more to traverse was accomplished in less than an hour, although it left Weipon feeling seasick and unsteady. She was deposited in the town square amidst a now-muddy tidal wave. The townsfolk gaped at this display, but Weipon recognized one familiar face.

"Ms. Silkbrush! I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow, but this certainly is convenient!" Ji steered her towards the sleeping spirit of earth. "Apparently he's been dozing here for decades. Just showed up one day, conked out, and that was that!"

Weipon noted the tiny shrine elements that had sprung up around the sleeping spirit. She had half a mind to add a coin to the shallow dish at his feet, but remembered that they would soon be waking Wu Guo, thus eliminating the purpose of the shrine.

"So far I've tried tapping, yelling, pushing, jostling, asking politely, and even ringing this here gong," Ji explained. "You would not believe the trouble I had to to through to get the mallet!" He rolled his eyes. "But I've got a pretty good idea. What if Shu here were to blast him with water? That always wakes me up after a night out!"

Weipon blinked. It certainly was direct. It did seem promising, too. "Shu," she called. "Wouldn't you like to play with your friend Wu Guo?" she asked, grinning. Shu nodded enthusiastically. "Well, if you help us wake him up, you can!" She gestured to the sleeping spirit and stepped back.

Chuckling, Shu wound himself up, then unleashed a torrent of water directly into the face of the earth spirit.

Wu Guo spluttered, squeaked, and opened his eyes. The pandaren cheered; Shu giggled.

"You tell him what's up; I'll get us a lift back to the Temple," Ji said, jogging away to suit actions to his words.

17 October 2012

1. When people find out I am a girl and make a big deal out of it, I get really uncomfortable. However, and this is extremely important to note, referring to myself as a girl and "outing" myself is NOT me making a big deal. Do not accuse me of playing my gender up because that makes no sense.

2. Similarly, if you find out I am a girl and immediately start hitting on me, we are through talking. If I tell you to stop hitting on me and you say you're joking, I still want you to stop. The end.

3. I try not to cuss in front of new people / strangers in dungeons. Well, I try.

4. I make a point to loot my skinnable kills.

5. If you don't loot your corpses in a group, I will tag along greedily behind you.

6. Be generous with guildies, but always offer them mats/gold/tips for their services.

9. Don't harass other players. I don't think many people want strangers to randomly /say violent sexual threats to their female characters.

10. Be kind to noobs. If you see a question in trade that gets snide responses, or get a curious whisper from a lowbie, answer them kindly! Unless they want gold. Then tell them you're not that kind of [race/class]. Alternatively you can invite them to find the gold you've hidden across the mobs of the world.

11. Play when it's fun, stop when you get burned out. Avoid guild drama, and avoid guilds that create it.

ETA: 11a.and one more thing!! It's time to catch up to the times and realize that gamers are people with varied ages, interests, jobs, athletic ability, whatever. It's 2012; you don't have to be surprised that an adult, or a woman, or an investment banker likes to kick back as an orc and kill demons.

15 October 2012

I said I would give you gifs if you gave me comment love, and so I come bearing jerkily animated gifts. Only two of you wanted to give "inspiration" so the rest of you get something I think is appropriate for you =_=

Kamalia: "so much to do, so little time" "where the hex did I leave my Timeturner?"
I wanted to use something either Star Trek or HP related but this seemed to be the most appropriate...

ToTA
So cheerful, so charming! Who doesn't want to be friends with you, for real?

Aygaren
I don't think we have talked much so here's to getting to know you better!

Rades
Welp I hope this doesn't offend you but you strike me as this friendly sloth here. Totally chill, totally approachable, and maybe a little sassy.

Anslym
It took me a few minutes to decide between a few gifs but I went with one I knew I hadn't posted before. You definitely strike me as someone who would keep having fun even if life threw something shitty your way, like, say, a flaming pizza.

Navimie
How are you always so cheerful and energetic? The world may never know. I appreciate your unflagging curiosity, though :)

Dahakha: "twitching bull"
Ok I want you to know that I put serious time into looking for a good gif but was not super successful. First you get "jackass bullfighting" because what. the. hell. is this? Completely insane.

13 October 2012

Weipon was still humming to herself when Wu-Song Village appeared on the horizon. Even from a distance away, she could see something was wrong. There seemed to be a large gathering of pandaren in the center of the village, while smaller, more agile shapes scampered between the buildings. She increased her pace, warming up her limbs as she jogged.

Soon she confirmed her suspicions: hozen were harassing the village, chasing frightened cubs to their mothers and making a general mess of the place. Although Mandori Village was rarely bothered by the pests, she had been taught since a young age that the only way to deal with them was swift punishment. She retrieved her staff from across her back and swung it, hitting a nearby hozen across the back with a snap. He howled something that sounded like "dooker!" and scampered away.

Within the village boundaries, Weipon made her way towards the bridge that crossed the center square, meting out staff justice with flicks of her wrists. The hozen scattered enough to allow her onto the bridge, where an enormously rotund pandaren was shouting orders to the warriors gathered around him. He noticed her approach and stepped to meet her.

"My name is Weipon Silkbrush; Master Shang Xi sent me to work with Ji Firepaw," Weipon said, bowing. The pandaren inclined his head and she straightened.

"I'm Ji," he said. "And I'm glad you're here, because we are completely swamped by these hozen." He glanced behind her, then shouted over his shoulder, "INCOMING FROM THE EAST!" Three pandaren moved to cover the area he indicated. Satisfied, he turned back to her. "Ms. Silkbrush, I'm sure Master Shang already told you of his plan to reunite the spirits. I've located Huo in the Shrine of Inner Light." He produced a map, marking the shrine and dotting the route from the village. "Huo is agitated, and I think his outbursts are what has upset the hozen so much. I need someone to bring him some calming materials to get him out here, but I can't seem to spare anybody!"

Weipon nodded, listening intently as he continued.

"I don't know what upset Huo, but I know he has a fondness for dogwood kindling. Then, and I'm really just thinking on the fly here, I think if we bottled some air from a spirit of living wind, that might be enough to get Huo to come out of hiding! Maybe he'd stop lighting these hozen's hineys on fire and give us a break as well!" Ji tapped the map. "There's a stand of dogwoods here, and I know I've seen living wind pass through there. Here, you can use this to capture the living wind in." He handed her a bottle that smelled suspiciously of soju.

She nodded. "I'll go right away, Master Firepaw."

"Please, Ji is just fine. I'll meet you at the Temple of Five Dawns as soon as possible!" He nodded at her, then turned to his attention back to the fighting.

Weipon rushed to the copse of dogwoods, thwacking hozen with her staff as she ran. She reached the trees and set about collecting a bundle of kindling, keeping an eye out for living wind. As she worked, she hummed a song she composed on the spot. Before long, she became aware of another breathy voice humming along with her and peeked over her shoulder. A living wind spirit was hovering behind her, undulating with the song. Slowly, still singing, she uncorked the bottle and turned around. The living wind was sucked inside, and she capped it with a pop. "Don't worry," she cooed. "It's just for a little while."

Taking the materials, she ran to the Shrine of Inner Light, where she found a monk shifting nervously from foot to foot in the entrance. "Huo's upset and shooting fire all through the passageway!" he burst out, alternatively appearing to want to stop her and beg her to help.

"I'll take care of it," Weipon reassured him, gently pushing him aside so she could enter. The pathway was hot and dry and stank of smoke. Periodically, the ground would crackle, glowing briefly before it erupted in a spout of flame. She kept her eyes glued to the floor, dodging fire that would have surely killed her in seconds. Before long, and with only a singed sleeve to show for it, she emerged into a large room with a shallow, glowing pool in the center. Here, the air was clear and damp. She waded through the pool and climbed the moss-slick steps to the innermost chamber, where she could see a tiny glimmer hidden among stone pillars.

"Huo," she called softly, carefully arranging the kindling on the edge of the pool he was lurking above. She struck a match and lit the kindling, then uncorked the bottle. The living wind flowed out and across the kindling, growing the flame and wafting it towards the element of fire. He sniffed at it experimentally, sneezed tiny sparks that sizzled as they struck the water, and edged a little closer. Weipon blew gently on the flame, and he inhaled noisily, growing brighter.

Suddenly, with a delighted cry, Huo blossomed, temporarily blinding Weipon and showering her with stinging sparks. When her vision cleared, he was right in front of her, crackling merrily. Weipon smiled.

"Huo, Master Shang Xi sent me to get you. He wants you to come to the Temple of Five Dawns and help us speak to Shen-Zin Su," she explained.

Huo squealed something that sounded suspiciously like "Little Xi!" and a torrent of fire whipped around Weipon, picking her up and carrying her out of the temple. She cried out in fear, then in surprise when she realized that although it was unpleasantly warm, she was completely unharmed. They flew across fields and over Mandori Village, finally swooping into the lowest level of the temple. Weipon stumbled as she was released, but a steadying hand caught her shoulder.

"I knew anyone sent by Master Shang could be trusted to get the job done," said Ji Firepaw, patting his belly jovially.

She watched as Master Shang conversed quietly with Huo, who seemed to be delighted to see the old pandaren. With a final squeak, he flitted away to play among the branches growing from the enormous statue in the temple.

Master Shang approached them, smiling. "I'm glad to see you two were able to get him out of hiding. But there's no time to rest. I've arranged for two carts to take you overnight to your next destination. Weipon, you will be meeting Aysa at the Singing Pools, and Ji, you're going to the Dai Lo farmstead." He ushered them outside, where the two farmers commissioned to ferry them around were waiting with carts loaded with supplies.

"I have every faith in you," Master Shang said kindly, helping Weipon into the back of the cart.

"Feel free to sleep on the hay back there," called the farmer from the front.

"See ya around!" shouted Ji, waving as his cart trundled off.

With a Hee! the farmer spurred his yak into motion and the cart jolted down the hill. Weipon punched some hay into the vague shape of a pillow and settled in for a bumpy ride.

In other news, I am hoping to spend some serious time leveling Aka this weekend. When I do log on, I seem to keep getting sidetracked by pet battles >_> The good news is that I now have my Halloween Battle Team AKA "Hallowteam" which consists of Lost of Lordaeron, Vampiric Batling, and Sinister Squashling. What do you think?

08 October 2012

As it turns out, red cow rise turned TWO on September 13th and I totally missed it! I don't know if one can call two years worth of gif-supported rants and vaguely relevant game commentary a milestone, but such are the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Last time, in an ill-advised attempt to be like everyone else, I made up some dumb idea or other to answer questions for commenters. But let's face it, no one wants to ask me questions because I already talk so damn much! INSTEAD, and I think you'll like this so much better, I have decided that I will provide a GIF for every commenter on this post!

What I need from you: your name and twitter/blog url if you want linkage. Please type it directly so I don't have to go hunting you down! I'm a busy lady! (no I'm not) Then, please give me a short description or story that you would like me to find a corresponding gif for. Just about any noun, adjective, or verb can be expressed through gif! I'm thinking I'll post the results either Wednesday, or wait until Monday to give people time. Probably Monday!

05 October 2012

"It's only for a few days," the pandaren soothed, patting her mother's arm

The middle-aged pandaren huffed noncommittally. "I don't see why you can't just keep training here in the village."

Now the younger pandaren's features drew into a frown. "You're the one who wanted your daughter to learn traditional cultural arts. I can't help it if I'm particularly good with a staff."

"You're particularly good with a brush, too, though," said her father sadly, not looking up from where he was carefully affixing a tuft of horse hair to a bamboo reed.

The pandaren closed her eyes briefly. "Well, that was inevitable growing up in a house of brush makers. Anyway, I only need to defeat two more opponents to get my final rank certification. I'll be back before you know it, and I'll get right to work. How does that sound?"

"It's fair," her mother replied. "I did agree to let you go." She took her daughter's elbows and kissed her cheek. "Be safe, Weipon."

Weipon smiled and turned to go. Her dog Fu ran around frantically underfoot until her mother scooped him up, holding him under one arm and waving with the other. As she left, her father called out, "Give 'em hell!"

She had to walk from Mandori Village to the training academy where Master Shang Xi had summoned his students. The sun was setting as she left the village and started down the rural road that cut through the surrounding fields to the small hill. Soon, the moon had risen, and she began to look for the natural overhang where she had rested on previous trips. Thinking of her parents, she composed a poem.

Moon rising over the road,
Reflected in the white sheet.
The ink is ground, the weight set,
Breathe and put brush to paper.

She awoke with the sun and resumed her walk, finally entering the training ground as the sun approached six fingers above the horizon. Other students, some of them looking as if they trained there regularly, were already beginning chores or milling about expectantly.

Weipon headed for the hill on the edge of the academy, knowing she would find the good-humored Master Shang Xi there. He was sitting cross legged on a rock, watching the students below with sharp eyes. He smiled when Weipon approached.

"I'm glad you could make it. I suspected your father might not like to miss you for so long. You know, he and I used to be drinking buddies."

She bowed, half-smiling and half-grimacing at her feet. "He's told me many times. I couldn't pass up this opportunity to learn from you again, though."

His expression turned sober. "I have many things to teach you before it is time for us to part. But first, I know you are eager to complete your final matches. Go and see when you have been scheduled to compete!"

Weipon competed in the first round of the day, dispatching her equally ranked opponent with some effort. As she bowed to him and the judge, she noticed Master Shang Xi in the crowd, peering at her contemplatively. When she looked again, he was across the room, silently watching two initiates sparring.

She didn't see him again while she watched other matches and waited for her second in the afternoon. This opponent, a surly, barrel-chested woman, put up quite a fight, but in the end Weipon was able to accrue more points and win with a judge decision.

The final ceremony went by in a blur, as each competitor who had progressed was awarded their higher rank. Weipon stood alone, admiring her new sash, and was surprised by a hand on her shoulder.

"May I speak to you for a moment?" asked Master Shang.

"Of course!" she replied, immediately moving to follow him.

He walked slowly to the staircase in the training house, but stopped at the foot. Without turning to her, he murmured, "Burn the Edict of Temperance and return to me." He strolled away, offering congratulations to other students.

Weipon blinked, then jogged up the stairs. She knew that finally having reached the highest rank, her training was only beginning. Traditional pursuits were lifelong studies of the art, after all. She just hadn't expected her first lesson to involve burning one of the oldest, most important doctrines in the school.

The words on the paper whispered across her mind even as she set fire to the Edict. Even if the physical paper no longer existed, she wouldn't soon forget the earliest lesson. She returned to Master Shang.

"Have you given any thought to whether you will follow the Huojin or the Tushui?" he asked abruptly. She opened her mouth, but he interrupted her. "There's no need to decide anything yet. I expect you will have plenty of opportunities to weigh both options." He left the training house and shuffled down the hill, leaning on his staff. Weipon followed obediently. "The pandaren have not spoken to Shen-zin Su in many years, and it is high time we fixed that," he said gravely. "To do so, however, we will need for each of the four elements to return to the Temple of Five Dawns." He paused to let the weight of that sink in, then continued, "Two of my former students, Aysa Cloudsinger and Ji Firepaw, are already taking measures to awaken the elements. I want you to help them."

Weipon stopped, shook herself, and rushed to catch up with her teacher. He stopped at the main gate, looking out over the grassy hills rolling away towards the mountains. Weipon joined him, standing beside and slightly behind the elderly pandaren.

"Ji has gone to Wu-Song Village to seek a method to awaken Huo. Collect your belongings and go to assist him. Learn from him." Master Shang Xi turned to his student and smiled. "I look forward to seeing you soon."

Weipon bowed low, bobbing until master Shang inclined his head slightly. She gathered her bags and was on the road within the half hour, striking out across farmers' tracks. As she walked, she began to sing, and her hands twitched as if fingering invisible frets and plucking imaginary strings. The Wanderer's Song spilled out before her into the open sky.

02 October 2012

So I uh. I have a lowbie pandaren monk? Since I couldn't really play until very late release day, I rocked up to the party pretty late and had a peaceful romp through the Wandering Isle. I saw almost no other players, except teal monks here and there, and some douchebag who /spit on me for some reason. WE HAVEN'T EVEN PICKED FACTIONS YET.

Before I left with Ji for Orgrimmar, I went crazy herbing around the shelltop and took some pictures of the shrines hidden about. Although it's specifically about Hong Kong, this article has a good summary of incense-burning shrines. Further reading, incense is also known as joss sticks.