Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise arriving at the Music Box Theatre in New York (1/2)

Apparently Tom Cruise is so worried about Suri Cruise being kidnapped that he's hired a body double for her as a protective measure. Suri's basically now a mini version of Saddam Hussein, you know, except she doesn't use rape as a tool of intimidation. OR DOES SHE? Actually, no. From the New York Daily News:

The News spotted Suri's alleged double as recently as Friday afternoon, after her mom, actress Katie Holmes, picked her up from her Manhattan school and they returned to their Chelsea home. The identity of Suri's alleged double wasn't immediately known and it's not clear if her duties extend to being TomKat's daughter's playmate. But the little imposter is apparently friendly with Holmes, who was photographed talking to her a month earlier.

"Tom wants the names of all the parents of the kids Suri plays with," said a source close to Holmes. "He has to approve them before Suri can go to their houses or apartments alone. He has them investigated and he keeps a file on everyone. He is very cautious when it comes to her."

For reasons unclear, Cruise has stepped up security around Suri in recent months and has met with risk assessment teams and kidnapping specialists, sources said.

Wow, this is pretty fucked up. Does the mother of the young decoy know that her daughter is there in case a sniper gets lazy? I bet she understands now why Tom and Katie gave Suri's little playmate so many shirts and hats with bulls-eyes on them. There hasn't been a mother so willing to destroy her children for the sake of money ever since Kris Jenner woke up this morning. "Psssst, Kim Kardashian authentic report card from the second grade . . . a thousand bucks and it's yours."