Friday, September 26, 2008

Ideal Match

One big disadvantage of getting a job is that people start following-up with your marriage. This phenomenon increases multi-folds when you've got a job after completing your MBA because an MBA degree indicates that you've completed your education and won't be interested in going for further studies though this argument doesn't hold true as many, sorry a few MBAs also go for research and similar things. Moreover, you would just be hanged if you are an MBA from some IIM because people would then become damn sure about a settled life for you with a decent salary. However, that assumption is now under scrutiny due to the fall of big-salary-packages famed investment banks.

However, I'm not been spared on account of that, due credit to my association with a firm known for retaining employees till death (but believe me, even this gospel truth is getting challenged as Reliance is also on a downsizing spree these days). So, as like any other common Indian boy, all of my relatives including nanad of buaji of bhanji of my taiji have started asking the questions like, "What kind of girl do you want to marry?". Now, there is another technical glitch associated to this problem – I don't have any girl friend so that has basically added to my misery in two ways: one, I can't tell them that I've decided for my life partner and two, I can't jot-down my wish list because I just don't know what traits I want in my life partner.

Today, during the leisure time in my office, I was thinking about this question sincerely. Well, I've not thought about this since ages. When I was in Standard XI, my mantra at for an ideal girl was very simple; she should have had the following characteristics though not in any specific order: good looks, good figure, a fantastic sense of humor, and a really good human being (I could have compromised of last point, though). Now you might have concluded by now, that why I couldn't get a girl friend. I applied Dr. Kalam's vision of "dreaming high" in this context as well and actually took it very seriously – resultantly, I'm still single just like him. However, I presume a person of his calibre must have been single on his own terms, unlike poor me.

Anyways, so I thought about few attributes in this regard and came up with this list:

1. Wavelength – I think by far the biggest element while choosing a partner should be the wavelength between the two - nothing else I feel matters as much. If the wavelength matches then there will never be pregnant pauses between conversations, there will never be statements like 'so what else is happening' a 100 times a day and not even a 'how do we spend time today' kind of feeling.

2. Humor – Strangely, but humor has still found its way in my list, even after 6 long years. I personally believe that humor plays a big part in the success of not only a marriage but also life in general. If a person has a sense of humor and is able to laugh off/at things, it reduces stress to a great extent and makes the marriage happy. It doesn't mean that she has to laugh on all pathetic jokes or non-pathetic-but-jokes by me, rather it's like both of us can take a joke at our expense and laugh off the most horrible situation life throws upon us.

3. Chemistry: After physics of wavelength, it had to be something related to chemistry. And this is not just about oxytocin (scientists claim that this is the hormone responsible) flowing in, after seeing someone. It's more than just looks or initial aura built up by her mere presence. It's about asking yourself whether I would like to spend 365 days a year with her and yeah, 70 years after that.

So that was all what I came up with and actually I realized that it is again abstract and hence, can't be presented as answer to never-ending-questions of never-ending-people-interested-in-my-marriage.

P.S. – Even while writing this, I have started reconsidering my new list and would like to add the first two attributes of the old list (which I prepared in Standard XI).

Thought for the day

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself.. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.