Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
–6 Train
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
–Columbus Circle

Conductor #1, singing: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. (train stops and doors don't open) Conductor #2: Doors! The doors! (doors open and then don't close) Conductor #2: Doors! (doors close and train starts moving) Conductor #1, singing with backup music: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.
–F Train

Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.
–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mat Freimuth
Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!
–Glendale
Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!
–Hamilton Heights
Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.
–65th St & Broadway

White man: You going to church too? Black woman: Yes. White man: You know, I just started crying last week at service. It is so powerful. Black woman: I know. White man: I mean, our next President will be the last President before the Antichrist comes. Are you ready to be saved?
–Foster Ave & Marlborough Rd, Brooklyn

Drunk guy on subway, trying to whisper: Um…for future reference, don't use that French accent next time we fuck. Loud drunk girl, breaking into hysterical laughter: Ha! And then you're going to tell me not to fart on your balls!
–B Train
Overheard by: Glad I missed that party

Train conductor: This is Atlantic Avenue. If you don't want to be left in the city get off now, if you are going to the city, buckle up… wooo hoooo! Ghetto woman: This nigga lost his mind. Ghetto child: Just like daddy? Suit: Fucking morons! (walks off train)
–Q Train
Overheard by: Got Off On Atlantic