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A long-awaited return

Despite my efforts to make blogging a part of my traveling lifestyle, I found that I rarely am able to pry myself away from living an experience in order to capture it in the blog; which reminds me of a time when a good friend of mine expressed his anxiety that in writing everything down he was missing out on living his life but when he was out living his life he feared all of the things he was missing writing down. I suppose that’s the paradox of living and creating, it’s essential to remember that the two needn’t oppose each other but that in harmony the two feed into one another.

In any case, I hope you will accept the following blog posts as some immediate and some not so immediate reflexions on my last few adventures.

About a week ago now, I made my long-awaited return home to my friends and family in the luscious and clear Pacific Northwest. After an exhausting few days of some of the worst jetlag I’ve ever experienced, I’m back on my feet, feeling and ruminating again.

Returning home has brought on a slew of all kinds of nostalgia related emotions but perhaps the most overwhelming of them is the feeling that perhaps I dreamed it all in the most tremendously surreal dream. But these things are hard to keep track of when everything that would normally signify this in our physical surroundings, have vanished. The feeling recalls for me a moment sometime late last winter when my partner and I were reflecting on how wild it was to be living in France in the first place because it felt like an idea materialized out of thin air. I told him that to me, it almost felt like we had built a sand castle–out of nothing we had constructed a life that we had dreamed about–and now that sand castle has washed up on the shore, returned to it’s home, the sea, making room for sand castles to come.

While plans are unfolding for the future, it is still unclear where I will be a few months from now and although the unknown has historically been crushing for me, right now it’s mixed with tender love, happiness, relief, and an immense well of possibilities–so only half-crushing.