Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Horrid and Cruel Counselors

In light of the Orlando slaughter, I thought it fitting to
re-run this article, Horrid and Cruel Counselors.It has shocked me and shaken me to the core
to read some of the opinions of pastors and others with unbiblical rants about
the occurrence.As Chaplains we seek to
bring peace and healing to the emotionally and spiritually patient and family
member.To use this event as a platform
for preaching hatred is beyond my ability to comprehend.Come to Orlando, see the brokenness of family
members and the brokenness of all involved.Come to Orlando Regional Medical Center and hear the stories of the
brave and highly competent medical staff.Use that to inspire your hearers to greatness.It’s interesting how when one writes on
various subjects, there is a need to hear it again.

I taught a Bible study recently on the subject of
suffering.My take-away was the shocking
reality that this group of men either had never been around those who were
suffering emotional trauma or were simply of the mind that those who suffer
deserve it.“Well, they must have
brought it on themselves,” was a comment that left me flabbergasted.Facial expressions and body language
indicated that others believed the sufferer either deserved it or they should
buck up and take it.Thankfully, there
were two that seemed to get it and had a more merciful view of suffering.Since we just celebrated Easter, I wondered
if some of this group believed Jesus deserved crucifixion, but I didn’t have
the courage to ask.

Comforting the suffering is part of what a hospice Chaplain
does.In the Book of Job, we come across
three men, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.At first, they modeled outstanding pastoral care skills when they sat in
the dust with Job and remained silent for 7 days and nights.I invite you to read the previous article on
this subject (March 24, 2016)

Something changed their attitudes.They became harsh and cruel in their
diatribes as to why Job suffered.Why
someone suffers is far secondary to treating the wound.Who can argue with Isaiah 40:1, “Comfort ye,
comfort ye my people, saith your God.”People need comfort and rebuilding.When David reflected upon his life in Psalm 23:4, he said, “He restoreth
my soul.”Restore in Hebrew has the word
picture embedded in it that portrays something of value broken into many
pieces…so many pieces that it would take a master-fixer-upper to put it
together.God restored David’s soul…not
once, not twice, but many times.Since
David was elderly when he wrote this Psalm, his reflections on God build our
souls.

Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar went from excellent comforters
to horrid comforters.Paul Tautges is a
kindred spirit when it comes to this subject.He writes in counselingoneanother.com:

Be like Counselor Eliphaz.

Automatically assume that sin is the cause of your
friend’s suffering and, therefore, God’s hand of corrective discipline is
upon him, thus implying that even the death of his children was somehow
his fault (Ch. 4-5).

When your spiritual friend, who is experiencing deep
suffering, tries to explain his situation to you, assume he is just
putting spin on his story in order to justify himself. Tell him he is full
of the wind and will ultimately come to destruction anyway because he is
so wicked (Ch. 15).

Be sure to remind him that he is a great sinner who is
greedy, cruel, and needs to get right with God. Leave no room for grace
(Ch. 22).

Be like Counselor Bildad.

Conclude that—because the wicked do not ultimately
prosper—your friend is wicked and be sure to tell him…just in case he has
forgotten (Ch. 8).

Only use fear to motivate him to repent by repeatedly
drawing his attention to the future destruction of the wicked (Ch. 18).

When you run out of things to say then resort to
name-calling; Maggot is always a pretty good choice (Ch. 25).

Be like Counselor Zophar.

Have no mercy upon the sufferer and don’t empathize
with his difficult situation. If he dares to open his heart to
you—revealing his deepest doubts and fears—don’t give him a patient
listening ear followed by gentle, probing questions. Instead, tell him he
talks too much (after all, he is just whining), is lying, and only getting
half of what he deserves anyway, therefore, he should repent (Ch. 11).

Be sure to remind him that he will suffer the fate of
the wicked man. Whatever you do, don’t give him hope (Ch. 20).

In a nutshell, if you want to be a
miserable comforter then nurture a hyper-active connection between personal sin
and every form of suffering and be sure to remind your spiritual
friends that they are the ultimate cause of their suffering (that they are
sovereign) and that the one-word answer is always “Repent!”

Getting back to my Bible study
group… Great damage is done both in families and churches when errant views of
suffering and how to engage the sufferer prevails.I have several powerful and painful patient
stories that reflect this horrid and cruel way of treating one who was recently
bereaved.Is it any wonder that elderly
John the Apostle concluded his worship services by exhorting his congregation
to “Love one another, for love is of God.”

Chaplain colleagues, comfort your
patients and their families.They need
what you provide.