I heard from former clients who were so in love with their house that they wanted me to see before and after photos of all their renovations. I enjoyed the slideshow they provided, and was struck by a line in the accompanying e-mail: “We almost didn’t make an offer on this house, thinking it was wrong for us, but we’re so glad we changed our minds!”

This being Valentine’s Day, I thought it a perfect time to share that story in the context of how I met my spouse.

I was a high school cable TV intern and my husband was a college intern, volunteering as assistant directors for a local telethon cablecast. When his shift ended and mine was scheduled to begin, he refused to vacate the chair. I’d waited a year, eagerly anticipating this event and my role in it, and this stranger was ruining my chance! I pleaded for him to get up, but he ignored me, and everyone else in the studio truck shushed me and kept on working. I was fuming when I left, and crying by the time I returned home.

Once Mr. Opportunity-Denier graduated, he was hired by the cable station where I continued to work during my college breaks. Imagine my dismay when I walked in and spotted that creep from the telethon!I turned on my heels and ran to the Program Director’s office, chastising him for hiring such an “egotistical and selfish person.”

My emphatic suggestion that Mr. Creepy-Opportunity-Denier be terminated on the spot was greeted with a pat on the hand and a laugh, but no firing (I guess I understand the response now, but boy, was I livid back then).

My still-employed nemesis called me a few days later.Maybe it was a strategic move to know his enemy, or perhaps he found fury to be alluring, but either way, he made it clear that he was interested in me.I was cross and unforgiving on the phone, but afterwards sought the wise counsel of my friend Alison. Her advice was to give him a second chance, so I did.

We’ll be married 33 years this summer, so I’m a big advocate of stepping back and reexamining an initial impression in the light of a new day.

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(And I met my other half in a big group of friends, where we found ourselves cornered at a table where I ranted and raged for an hour or longer at how I H A T E D working for lawyers... I'd had a particularly bad day or week, I think. I normally have nought against lawyers, as you know. After ranting long enough, I remembered that you're supposed to show interest in the person you're talking TO as well, so asked him "So what do you do then?"... Oh, "how we've laughed" for the past 15 years about it, but he was of course a lawyer... Glad, he stuck it out too :))