Shy Guy

Dear Emily,

I have been wanting to date this guy for years now but he’s very shy and I don’t know how to break him of it. Is there something that I could do to help him not be so shy? He is a really nice guy. Any tips?

PS. Love your podcast

Thanks,

Lauren

Dear Lauren,

Sometimes it just takes time for people to get comfortable.

Try to find out what he’s interested in and engage in relevant activities. For example, if he likes comic books plan to go to a comic book store together before heading to a cafe.This will give him a chance to talk about a subject he is well-versed at the beginning of the date. The first half hour or so is usually the most nerve-racking and tongue-tied.

When you’re out with him ask him questions. When people think that you are genuinely interested in what they’re saying, they tend to gain confidence and open up more.

Remember, he’s probably shy because he likes you and doesn’t want to say or do the wrong thing. Being self-conscious can be crippling at times, especially when you want to impress someone. Over time hopefully he will realize that you like him for who he is and he doesn’t have to constantly procure witticisms to impress you. Shy people usually do best in one-on-one situations where they can really get to know and trust the other person. Have patience.