SEXIEST PERSONS ALIVE

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

The Alamo Drafthouse is a chain of Austin theatres where food and drink is served. A whole menu of food plus adult beverages.

The caller in this audiotape is angry because she was kicked out of the Drafthouse for texting. Because texting might disturb fellow movie goers. The Drafthouse was so tickled with the voice mail they posted it to Youtube:

Really?

I don't know. Texting doesn't bother me.

Talkers bother me. Crying babies bother me. I missed a punch line in Bridesmaids the other day, thanks to a crying baby.

And you know what else, Drafthouse? Food servers bother me. Food servers walking back and forth, taking orders and delivering the food to the group sitting next to me and in front of me bothers me. Servers stooping to avoid blocking my view bothers me. The fact that they mostly do block my view bothers me.

I find myself worrying for the health of the food servers and their lower backs. I want to tell them, Don't work here too long. When you're my age you'll regret it. I actually want to whisper that. The act of resisting the impulse to give motherly advice bothers me.

And then there's the smell of food. I can't resist looking around to determine what I'm smelling. French fries? Fried okra? Potato skins?

All this looking and worrying and sniffing bothers me. So I haven't gone in a few years. And probably won't unless it's the only theatre in town playing the movie I want to see.

And when I do go? I'll be wearing a nose clip.

What do you think? Do you mind someone texting in a theater? Should someone be kicked out for it?