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So growing up online dating always had a stigma to it, like it was only for socially awkward crazy people. Personally I've never had a problem with it, but I never really thought about it as an option until recently. My brothers friend was in town and staying with us and he's using OkCupid, now unlike myself, he's never had a problem with the opposite sex, or dates, or any of that. He basically said not having a profile is just limiting my options. Now this is making all too much sense to me. So I found this glorious subreddit in the depths of the internet and started lurking, and although I'm probably gonna be making a profile soon, I want to know your experiences. I want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly, and if in the end its worth it.

TL;DR Give me the good and bad of your online dating experience, and if you think it's worth it.

I have my 3rd date with the same guy in less than a week. If Saturday goes well, I'm deactivating my account and I'm pursing him as a relationship, and I'm 99% sure he feels the same.

We're taking it slow, but without this site I never would have met him. He was the first guy to ask me out upon reactivating my account, and after viewing his profile, I would have asked him in a heartbeat.

It's amazing how you can find someone that you connect with through this, when it wouldn't have ever happened otherwise.

So, take that as you will. Is this the norm? Not at all, I went on a few dates 6 months ago that had zero chemistry.

I've had decent experiences with the men I've dated... we may not have necessarily clicked, but only one has been something I'd categorize as "creepy" (just a little too touchy feely for my taste when I hadn't given him ANY go ahead signals).

That said, I thought I'd have more dates tbh. I've only been out with six men since January, three of whom I had a 2nd date with (two went beyond that). I've made what I'd consider one real connection with someone; unfortunately his life kind of went to hell a month into what looked like a promising relationship and he bolted, saying he couldn't deal with dating on top of everything else. Since then I've been hopeful I'd find the same sort of rapport with someone, but no luck.

Is it worth it? If you don't have other ways of meeting people, I'd say yes. I know for me personally I think I'd do better meeting people IRL than online. My age seems to be above the cut off a lot of men have... online they can see that but IRL they'd have no way to know I'm over the magic age of 40.

I started seriously using this site last year because I was tired of being lonely, but felt too awkward to just go up and talk to girls at bars. Prior to then, I had as close to zero experience with women as you can get, as in the only girl I'd ever kissed who wasn't related to me was in Kindergarten. Since then I've gone on 20+ dates, lost my virginity, and gained significantly more confidence in my social and sexual abilities. I'm still single, which may mean I've still got shit I need to work out, but YES it is without a doubt worth it, but here's some advice:

Before you start messaging people, seriously ask yourself 'who is the person I want to date and would that person date me?' If your answer is no, then the first step before any of this is to turn yourself into that or someone reasonably close to that person

Girls will pull the vanishing act on you A LOT and at every conceivable stage of dating, so minimize your emotional investment in them until you're official, regardless of how awesomely you think it's going. You will have to fight against the urge to do this very frequently.

Don't get discouraged by your failures, learn from them.

Don't make this site the center of your life. Have other hobbies you can rely on. At the very least, they'll help you keep from becoming bitter when things get rough.

For me it's a choice between no dating or online dating. That's the situation when you move between 4 cities in 6 years. So it's definitely worth it. As far as stigma, it's not really that big of a deal, it's just a platform to get a number, then a date, and then move forward from there.

I met my best friend and my boyfriend on OkC, so I'd say it's worth it. Online dating both widens the dating pool (you meet all sorts of people you'd probably never run into) and also helps you narrow it down by letting you sort out people with incompatible beliefs/lifestyles/whatevs.

Now, the downside is that online chemistry does not always translate into real life chemistry. And having so many prospective online dates can make people flakey or unwilling to commit. So you'll have a lot of bad dates, but some will be winners.

My roommates have the same mindset. That online dating is for socially awkward middle aged people. Well I'm 21 and I've just had a blast using it. I'm a student and don't have time to go to the bars or some party every night to meet guys. It's harder for guys than for girls but I'd give it a shot. If anything you'll come out of it with some interesting stories.

It's worth it if you find the balance between being online AND dating. On the one hand everyone forgets basic social skills a little when facing the online disconnect from the "real world". On the other, profiles and match scores are beneficial tools that the real world doesn't have. There was a lot frustration in the process of finding dates, but in the end my actual dates were so much better. Worth it.

So growing up online dating always had a stigma to it, like it was only for socially awkward crazy people.

This is still the stigma for some people, but the reality is that more and more people are starting to use dating sites. Whether your friends, family, or yourself believe it or not, times are changing and it is (not will be) socially acceptable to date online (not that there was anything wrong with it to begin with).

not having a profile is just limiting my options

He's right. You are. If you haven't already checked it out and made an account, I suggest you do so. Online dating isn't just for the desperate, although there are people that are, but for everyone at every age group.

I want to know your experiences.

Very limited. I started profiles and deleted them the same day and it's only been recently that I've started to make an actual effort and overcome my fears of rejection/meeting a random stranger and going on a date.

The good:
I meet a lot of people that I wouldn't otherwise meet; it's build a lot of confidence in myself that, even though I have yet to score a date from my online endeavors, this newly found confidence has carried over to the offline scene. This is to say, I don't have (as much of) a problem talking to girls face-to-face like I use to.

Even if I don't ever land a date, the experience is a good thing to have and I've gotten closer every time (scored my first number last week, in fact).

The Bad:
You're ego is going to take a beating. As great as I may or may not have made it sound under "the Good," I didn't mention about how I send a dozen messages a week and maybe get one or two responses. I hardly ever get first-messaged.

Perhaps, what's more upsetting, is finding a girl who seems to apt to actually want to meet up and date... but calls the whole thing off because of the "age differences" or, most of the time "distance" (which is understandable; the number I mentioned earlier is from a girl a thousand miles away).

But with all the bad, you can't let that get to you. And, as you mentioned, this is a great subreddit with people who'd help you out. You said you've been lurking? Then you'd notice that many people ask for advice and critiques and share dating experience.