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Homo [Home] For The Holidays

Family holiday's got you feeling gray about being gay? Then let's start a new tradition!

The Jack O’ Lantern’s have hardly hit the compost heap these days before the first overt whispers of the holidays invade the retail shelves. On top of that, now Mom has declared Thanksgiving Dinner is now Brunch so that she and Aunt Tilly can get to Wal-Mart for the pre-Black Friday Sales that start at 8 pm on Thanksgiving Day. As if that isn’t enough to drive you crazy, you also have to deal with the coin toss over whether you’re going to his families or yours. Oh, and to add interest, you’re a gay couple so now the coin toss doesn’t really work because...

Scenario #1: You’re “out” but your boyfriends not, so we have to play the “This is my friend Todd” game.

Scenario #2: You’re out to your family but the reality doesn’t exist as long as you don’t come home for the holidays with your Homo boyfriend.

Scenario #3: You’re both out, your families are both accepting, but it’s the extended family that’s stuffing you with underhanded comments around the dinner table about what you’re stuffing where.

It really doesn’t matter the complexity of the situation or the reality of the drama that may ensue when you roam home for the holidays as the token homosexual. Truthfully speaking, it rests on your shoulders and in your own thoughts how you choose to be in the festivities and how you react or deflect the smorgasbord of family dynamics that will come your way. Same goes for your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend as well as for your family. We all stand at choice as to how we will be in the moment when Adam & Steve step into the festivities with glee.

Rather than rely on holiday elixirs to warm the heart and numb the senses, a little “Operation Make It Work,” may be the best gift of all to keep emotions and loose lips in check.

Chat it up and be honest. Avoiding what you’re feeling, anticipating, or wishing will or won’t happen by not speaking your truth, doesn’t rack up bonus points with Good Old Saint Nick. Speak candidly and from the heart with whomever you feel compelled to bare your holiday angst with so that you get your feelings out in the open. Better to diffuse the situation before five generations of Clampett’s are in the house, than to become the fuse that explodes because you and your beloved cannot partake in grace do to your “lifestyle.”

Have a game plan. If Uncle Pete is know for becoming surly and homophobic after a few cocktails, then find an ally who can block and tackle on your behalf. While his behavior isn’t something you have to accept, it also isn’t something you have to be a party to. Assembling your defensive line-up in advance helps prevent “in the moment fumbles” you may regret later.

Rick is a straight-forward, compassionate, insightful, challenging, mentor, guide, and Certified Professional Coach who's been featured on The Ricki Lake Show, and is a highly sought after radio show personality, blogger, author, and faculty member of Sex Coach U. His loving, challenging, gentle, and inspiring approach ignites a fire in clients, helping them get through the darkest moments of life and come out the other side, kicking butt, and being authentically themselves.

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11. Cameron and Mitchell, Modern Family

Cameron and Mitchell are the absolute cutest, whether they're revisiting Cam's clown past or bickering over Mitchell being uptight. Their relationship is both hilarious and realistic, and their sassy daughter Lily just completes it. They're everything.

ABC

10. Piper and Alex, Orange Is The New Black

You know it's love when you're constantly getting roped into various dramas involving heroin, jailtime and horrific eyebrows just to be together.

Netflix

9. Arizona and Callie, Grey's Anatomy

Arizona and Callie were cute on Grey's Anatomy, even rocking their own distinctly styled gorgeous dresses at their wedding. But it's Grey's Anatomy and it's been on TV for way too long, so of course they couldn't just stay together and be happy. How else can they continue any storylines at this point? (Seriously guys, pull the plug on this show. When people begin to miss or agree with Katherine Heigl, it's time to take it out to pasture.)

ABC

8. Kalinda and Lana, The Good Wife

Bisexual master manipulator Kalinda Sharma can pretty much have her way with anyone she wants on The Good Wife, and then she'll use them however she wishes. While her relationship with Cary Agos is the most tragically romantic of sorts, her chemistry with FBI agent Lana Delaney is the hottest of any couple ever on the series.

CBS

7. Kurt and Blaine ("Klaine"), Glee

I don't want to spend too much time on this because I have an irrational hatred for this stupid show, but know this: Kurt and Blaine's romance gave us Glee's spectacular cover of "Teenage Dream," and for that we should all be thankful (except Katy Perry, who should be ashamed, because, well, her version is awful in comparison).

FOX

6. Alex Kelly and Marissa Cooper, The OC

Bad girl Alex Kelly and sort-of-good-girl Marissa Cooper got together after pretending to be dating to get Alex's psycho ex-girlfriend away. They later moved into together before ultimately splitting. Also, their first kiss was partially responsible for a lot of millennial guys' crusty socks. Just saying.

FOX

5. Emily and Maya ("Emaya"), Pretty Little Liars

Bisexual Maya and lesbian Emily have gone through a lot: Maya got sent to rehab for pot (remember, it's an ABC Family show), Emily's parents weren't accepting of their sexuality ... then they finally confirmed their total and undying love for one another and, like David Fisher and Keith Charles, lived happily ever after until one of them ended up dead. Yikes.

ABC Family

4. David Fisher and Keith Charles, Six Feet Under

After a long on-again off-again romance, David Fisher and Keith Charles of Six Feet Under finally come to terms with their own identities as well as with their love for one another, get married and adopt two sons. They live happily ever after ... until Keith gets murdered, but hey, shit happens.

HBO

3. Tara Maclay and Willow Rosenberg, Buffy

When Willow revealed to Buffy that she had feelings for Tara, she avoided labeling herself and just said she was falling in love with her. As their relationship blossomed, so did Willow's magical powers. That's a pretty good incentive for romance.

IMDB

2. Chris Keller and Tobias Beecher, Oz

Before he was chasing pervs and perps on Law & Order: SVU, Christopher Meloni starred as an imprisoned psychopathic killer named Chris Keller on Oz. Keller planned to manipulate fellow (and much less harmful) convict Tobias Beecher, but actually ended up falling in love with him. Aw.

HBO

1. Aaron and Eric, The Walking Dead

Aaron and Eric will do anything for one another, and their relationship has a lot of romantic parallels with Glenn and Maggie's. The only real difference is that Aaron and Eric both pee standing up (and that Rick doesn't really trust them).

AMC

Cameron and Mitchell are the absolute cutest, whether they're revisiting Cam's clown past or bickering over Mitchell being uptight. Their relationship is both hilarious and realistic, and their sassy daughter Lily just completes it. They're everything.