Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Our Wacky World—8/2/2011

Sorry for the long delay between posts. I've just been too busy to finish one up. Now that everyone in the world realizes that the US has three political parties, one of which ties the hands of another, let's see what the quackosphere has to offer this week...

These Fossils Are [sic] Formed By Volcanic Activity Brought On By Meteorites Impacting The California Coastline Millions Of Years Ago. When The Impacts Hit The Coastline, Sand And Sea Shells Where [sic] Subsiquintly [sic] Deposited Inland, Forty Feet Of Sand In Some Area's! [sic] Basicly Cooking These Fossil's Before They Could Change There [sic] Facial Expressions! These fossils are also from the Franciscan formation.

There Are More Than Ten Heads On The Ramphamorph Nest Piece! Named Ramphamorph Obviously For The Funny Snorkle "Gill Ram" On The Right Side Of Their Head's For Breathing under water while chasing pre-historic salmon. The Hatchlings Have Tails, [sic] That Have Detail Better [sic] Then Any Other I Have Ever Seen. On The Under Side [sic] Is Mom, An Egg And A Little Baby That has It's [sic] Eye Open !Bottom Row Middle jpg. This Fossil provides endless study oppertunity. [sic] I'm Asking $100,000. O.B.O.

There' a new skeptic blog site in town. All your favorite lefty evolutionists and godless atheists are hanging out there now (sorry, ScienceBlogs): The reason for the move is that National Geographic has bought Scienceblogs from Seed and are clamping down on the rampant militant activism. At the moment the new site is having problems with a crappy host so be patient.

'Before singing Meat is Murder, the 52-year-old British musician told the crowd: “We all live in a murderous world, as the events in Norway have shown, with 97 dead [sic]. Though that is nothing compared to what happens in McDonald’s and Kentucky Fried s--- every day.”'

"Popular hate blogger Pam Geller has received scrutiny in recent days as the public became aware that the right-wing terrorist in Norway, Anders Behring Breivik, had praised her blog and thoroughly cited her writing in his political manifesto."

Surprise, it's mega-pastor Rick Warren. I guess we know now who he won't be voting for in 2012. Assuming Obama is re-elected (see the official GOP graphic at bottom of this post), we can only hope that Rick Warren won't be invited to give the damn inaugural prayer this time around. And maybe, just maybe, some people I know will finally see him for the douche that he is (you know who you are).

Here's another gem of fiscal wisdom from the great budget standoff:

"But I couldn't help thinking, well, if we weren't in such a precarious situation and hadn't overextended ourselves to such an incredible extent where we are sending out 80 million checks a month - the U.S. government - wouldn't we have been able to handle those things like the two wars in a much better, stronger fiscal position, and isn't that where we really want to be as a country, where a war doesn't bust us because we've got good fundamentals?"

"I hope we gave a little lesson to the people in Washington because the debt ceiling is a lot easier to fix than this was," he said Monday at a presser announcing an end to the months-long stalemate between owners and players.

That's a fantastic analogy, in that anyone who thinks it remotely applies to the current ideological impasse in Washington is living in a fantasy world. The NFL standoff always was a win-win situation for everybody because there were billions to go around. Meanwhile, the world held its breath while the real wheeling and dealing took place outside the spotlight:

"Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) outlined the GOP's debt-ceiling plan to conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh on Monday before showing it to his conference. "

See what I mean? What were the NFL team owners thinking when they didn't consult Rush in their hour of darkness? It would have saved them so much trouble. After all, he used to be a sportscaster as well as a big fat idiot.

The Official Response™ strikes again:

$17,233.07

Bishop Connors on Tuesday said not even revelations from Detective Sergeant Kevin Carson that 26 young men had killed themselves after being abused by priests and brothers in Ballarat convinced him that more would be learnt from an inquiry. "I think we've learnt a lot of things about what is appropriate behaviour and what's not appropriate behaviour. "I think people are very well informed nowadays as to what's inappropriate approaches from a male."

So he's saying "they" didn't "know" in 1969? How about 1988? (Herald Sun)

"The townhouse,...had belonged to a woman named Kathryn Norris, and the 1987 silver Chevy Nova was registered to her, too. She had used a normal amount of electricity in July 2009 and much less in August and none after that. She had paid her mortgage in August and then stopped. Her head was on the floor and her feet were on the seat. The corpse, deputies wrote in their report, was wearing a dress. How could a woman die a block from the beach, surrounded by her neighbors, and not be found for almost 16 months?"

In fact, other than the inclusion of "Jersey Shore" clips that our animated heroes unload on in favor of music videos, the clip looks like it's straight out of the 1990s -- in a very, very good way. "I'm a whore, hello?" says Snooki in a snippet from "The Jersey Shore." "That's how she answers the phone," jokes Butt-head, to the giggling approval of his pal Beavis.

"A high school southeast of Little Rock would not let a black student be valedictorian though she had the highest grade-point average, and wouldn't let her mom speak to the school board about it until graduation had passed, the graduate claims in Federal Court."

"For years sickened locals in Wunsiedel have had to put up with a steady stream of far-right activists turning up to honour [Rudolph] Hess, who parachuted into Scotland in a botched bid to broker a peace deal between Britain and Germany in 1941. Every August 17 neo-Nazis march through the town to mark the date of his death in 1987."

"...two mortuary attendants were on duty and heard the man screaming as they prepared for another funeral. The terrified pair ran out of the building into the street after assuming the bellowing was coming from a ghost. They called for help before eventually going back into the morgue and realising the 'corpse' was still alive."