Man, those “terrorists” sure have the worst timing, don’t they? On the other hand, they seem to always plot to blow shit up when it is the most opportune time for whatever regime happens to catch them at the time. Here’s and example: 9/11 happened just one day after the plans to attack Afghanistan and the Taliban landed on George Bush’s desk and just a week or so after they worked out the kinks in the Patriot Act. Here’s another example: Umar Fizzlepants ignited his diaper of doom just a week after Barack Obama gave the order to hit targets in Yemen and accidentally killed 23 children in the process (We had no reason to be attacking targets in Yemen, that is, not until Umar Fizzlepants)

Today, the much beleaguered billionaire mayor of New York and his thuggish police commissioner announced (surprise surprise) they thwarted a “terrrorist plot” involving some “lone wolf” who was just “an hour” away from completing his bombs (just for the record, if you have 20 bucks, a bus pass, and a kitchen table, you are “an hour” away from creating a bomb as well)

Yes, the mayor of clamp-down city, where they beat protesters for the billionaire mayor in order to keep those protesters from the mayor’s friends in Wall Street, just protected America from the evil teerrarrissts again. Glory be to God. In his press conference they had videos of cars they blew up themselves so that they could show the press corps what the weapons the terrorists COULD have made COULD have done were the glorious mayor and his glorious police commissioner not on the ball.

Let me say that again… in order to implicate the guy unfairly and glean every possible cheap bit of theatrics they possibly could from the press conference… they built “a duplicate” of the bomb and blew up a car so that everyone could see what the bomb COULD have done. Then they showed the video to the press and stood around stone faced as if they were watching, say, a cop casually spraying bear mace in the faces of seated protesters or something. Oh the horror. Take a look at our staged demonstration. Isn’t that thing that didn’t happen horrible? Aren’t you glad we saved you from the guy we have been coddling lo these past 12 months?

Oh, by the way, did I happen to mention that the police had been handling this guy… I mean, watching this guy, since 2009 and they had an informant planted with him all along?

“The defendant in the case, identified as Jose Pimentel, 27, had bought bomb-making materials and “began to build them,” said one person briefed on the case, who added that the Police Department had had the man under surveillance for about a year.,,

… “The Police Department basically had an informant with this guy,” said a second law enforcement official familiar with the investigation.

… Mr. Pimentel made incriminating statements to an informant who was working with the Police Department, investigators said, and those conversations were recorded.” New York Times

Bloomberg has been getting horrible press recently. His neoliberal agenda is in trouble as a direct result. He has been working diligently to give away the New York public school system to some of the billionaire friends so they can turn a profit on it but recent developments like his being called out by Keith Olbermann just last week for his despicable actions toward the OWS movement are certainly making life a bit more difficult for him.

So right on cue, this guy who has been under surveillance for over a year just up and decides to build some pipe bombs and take out a sedan or something. What good luck for the mayor and his henchman police commissioner. Now they can bask in the glory of being “tough on terrorism” again and reap some of that patriotic love that was heaped on Rudy and his police cronies back in 2001.

When things get tough, bust a “terrorist”

But here’s the funny thing (as if this timing and the police “informant” who was “basically with him” wasn’t funny enough). Listen to the horrible weapons the guy had bought at the Home Depot and the Dollar Store…

“Investigators also said he bought materials to make a bomb at a 99 cent store and at a Home Depot on Exterior Street in the Bronx. At the Home Depot, he bought elbow joints, gloves and Christmas lights. He was under surveillance by the Police Department when he made those purchases.” New York Times

God forbid you buy some Christmas lights or try to fix your sink this holiday season. Who knows what the guy actually did or planned to do. Whatever the case may be, it sure worked out in time to help rebuild the billionaire mayor’s sagging approval rating, didn’t it? Almost as if Bloomberg’s publicist came up with the whole thing himself. Or maybe it was the police commissioner who chose this moment to play his “terrorist” card. After all, that was a police informant that was with the guy all these months, wasn’t it.

Merry Christmas Mayor Bloomberg. That has got to be the best homegrown terrorist plot disruption that money has ever bought in these United States. And by the way, the video of the car blowing up was such a nice touch. Just in case those reporters didn’t know what the word ‘explosion” meant, there you were with your PR guys to show them what one looked like. Bully for you.

“With the informant, Pimentel bought bomb components depicted in articles in the al Qaeda’s online magazine “Inspire.” Following the instructions in “Inspire,” Pimentel allegedly drilled holes in the three pipes, scraped the match heads “incendiary” powder, and used the Christmas lights as detonator wire, according to the complaint.”

These ‘terrorists’ should come south and learn from the ‘shake and bake’ meth heads how to blow things up. Their bombs really work.