From Misanthropic Barista, June, 2011: A custy handed this post-it to my coworker today. (Because otherwise we would have surely served him a cup full of crap.) Just one of many reasons I remain your Misanthropic Barista.

After reading Denim Bitch's story about a bitchy custy who got pissed about something that Denim Bitch clearly could not control, I was reminded of a similar story of my own from a few years ago.

Do you all remember the summer of 2008? You know, the summer where gas prices were obscenely high (I remember paying $4+ a gallon) and everyone bitched about it? Let's take a trip to that summer.

So I'm working at Dunkin' Donuts and to accommodate everything that was going on in the economy we decided to raise the prices of everything. Nothing too ridiculous (most coffee maybe increased by $0.20 at most) and most people didn't even notice it.

Except for Stupid Old Man (SOM).

It's a busy day at the drive-thru and I was cashing people out. A few people had commented on the inflated prices and my usual response was along the lines of "That's the economy for you!" SOM was not having that.

SOM: Why did the prices increase?

Me: The economy's been pretty bad lately so we're trying to make up for the increased prices we pay for things by slightly increasing the prices of our products. We need to make back the money somehow.

SOM: Don't blame the economy on this! You know it's because you're trying to nickel and dime us!

Me: I'm certainly not trying to nickel and dime anyone. I don't own any Dunkin' Donuts and I think it stinks that we have to raise the prices but it is because of the economy.

SOM: That's crap.

Me: No, it's not. You know how gas prices have increased exponentially? Have you ever seen our 18-wheelers that deliver all of our products to us (I was referring to the trucks that deliver everything from cups to coffee beans to collector's mugs)? Those cost hundreds of dollars to fill and they come here twice a week. Before they come here they come from another place which means that they have to travel which in turn costs a lot of money. Then our coffee is flown in which also costs a ridiculous amount of money. So yes, the increased prices are a direct result of the bad economy right now.

SOM: *grumble grumble grumble*

Me: Have a nice day!

Any of you have any stories where you were blamed for something that was clearly out of your control?

But let me make one thing clear first: other than a few minor annoyances that occur, such as managerial drama or broken machines, I generally enjoy my cafe job and I like about 90% of my regulars.

This woman falls into that 10% of the i-want-to-remove-you-from-existence category.

Now I have a lot of groups that come into my cafe on a regular basis, some rowdier than others but they all will quiet down if I ask them nicely and have actually apologized to me for being disruptive.

The ironically worst offender for sudden bouts of noise is my American Sign Language group. By that I mean it's lots of hand signs and then a huge sudden roar of laughter. I mean like 30-45 minutes of quiet and then someone signs a joke. Not bad at all and they have gotten a lot better about it.

It was a Thursday night, they were in and it had been almost silent the entire night, no jokes today which was fine. I've nearly leaped out of my skin a time or two being caught off guard.

In comes the crusty in question that needs a serious head check. I call her the Crazy Lady, and you need the capital letters for her. In my 2 and 1/2 years there, she has never once ever actually bought something. It's always a cup of hot water and a cup of ice water. No idea why she needs both but I always smile and give her what she wants if only to get her away from me.

About an hour later, she comes up to me and asks if she can speak to a manager. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Is there something I can help you with?

CL: Yes, i need to talk to your manager please. It's about the group over there. *points to my ASL peeps*

Me: All right, let me get her for you. *pages manager over headset*

Manager Sandi: *arrives* What can I do for you?

CL: Can you get them *points again* to be a little quieter? I'm trying to read and they are just being really disruptive. And I'm having a hard time right now, and that woman *the lady that runs the lessons* is talking about her ex-husband and how he would beat her and I just can't stand to listen to this. *starts ranting*

MS: Well really there is nothing I can do other than ask them to be quiet. This is not a library and this is a public place. I can't make them leave

CL: *walks off muttering to herself*

WTF lady! Why are you listen to the conversation in the first place if it makes you uncomfortable? Why not just, I dunno, SIT SOMEWHERE ELSE?? DIDN'T THINK OF THAT DID YOU? I've got chairs all over this store and they are a hell of a lot more comfortable than the ones in cafe! Just move!

Long time reader, first time poster. I work for a very well known coffee giant, and have done for almost three years. I guess you call me WeeBarista, since I'm someone lacking in the height department.

I've dealt with my fair share of difficult customers over the years, but the woman today really took the piss. Side note - we've just had a complete transformation of our *iced blended cold drinks* and have a new recipe to follow, which has to be followed TO THE LETTER, or else I can get into real trouble. I had just started my shift, and had gone straight onto bar to make drinks. I had a few to catch up, and had just made a plain, coffee flavoured blended iced drink for a custy, who took it and walked away. Two minutes later, shes's back.

Custy: 'This doesn't taste sweet. This doesn't have any sugar in it...

Why?? 'You NEED to make me one with sugar in it. It's supposed to have sugar in it' - this is complete bullshit, it's a plain coffee flavour like she asked for, and they have NEVER been made with sugar in them.

WeeBarista: 'Oh, they actually don't come with sugar in them, but there is sugar over on the condiment bar that you could add to it.'

Custy *blank stare*: 'No, that won't taste right. I need YOU to make me a new one and put sugar in it.'

WeeBarista: 'Actually, I can't do it that way for you, as it would affect the texture and flavour of the drink, so it wouldn't come out right. Like I said, there's sugar on the condiment bar, which you could add to the drink. Or, I could add in a flavored syrup for you, such as caramel or vanilla.'

Custy *blank stare* 'No, this needs to have SUGAR in it. Why didn't you make it that way? It's supposed to be like that!'

WeeBarista *slowly losing the will to live, repeats all as said above*

Custy *death stare now* : 'I need YOU to help me here, I want my drink and I want it with sugar in it! Why can't you just do what I'm asking you too?'

WeeBarista: 'I'm sorry, but as I've already said I can't do that. Would you not like to try a syrup to make it sweeter?'

Custy:'Yeah, you have that sugar-syrup, just add that.'

WeeBarista: 'Actually, we don't have that here, but we have plenty of sweet flavours, such as vanilla or caramel' ( I believe some stores have this syrup in the US - but I'm in the UK)

Custy, actually STOMPS HER FEET ON THE GROUND: 'Fine. I don't WANT this now. I'll have strawberry one, will that be sweet?'

WeeBarista: 'Yes, it will.'

Custy: 'OK, and can you put sugar in that for me?'

WeeBarista: *melts into a puddle of disbelief and anger and practically dies on the spot* : 'No. As I've already said, I can't do that for you. It should be sweet enough.'

Custy:'FINE. You know, you've been really unhelpful to me.'

What the ACTUAL fuck?! She's too dumb enough to understand that I can't make her drink with sugar in it for her. She thinks she knows better than me what should be in our drinks. She rejects the concept of adding sugar afterwards, and refuses to try a flavored syrup. Then complains that I haven't been helpful enough. I genuinely don't know what she wanted from me!

She came back in a few hours later - and when she saw I was still working, she was completely rude to me and gave me death stares the entire time. It's not my fault she's a dumb custy!