Tighter than a squids arse....

LE

I work with a blerk who never ceases to amaze me, his tightness is become legend at work. He can light a fag in his pocket, is always on the bog when it's his round and he can peel an orange in his pocket.

Now we've all done that when we are skint, or herself, the shadowless pre-menstrual one indoors, is barking for more shoes than the kids have feet, or for IKEA tat to fill the house.

But I've just noticed that his poppy, proudly sported, has "Haigh Fund" on it's centre boss.

LE

Nothing wrong with being frugal and making the most of your assets. The other day, whilst making coffee for vistors, I knocked the unlidded jar over and watched in pure horror as the coffee poured over the edge of the worktop straight into the dogs water bowl. No problem, water from dog bowl tipped into kettle, boiled and coffee served. The dog drool in the water combined with milk gave a very pleasing frothy coffee effect which seemed to be appreciated by my guests.