Stew for Lunch Items 7-24-2012

Ailurophile

Definition:

cat fancier; lover of cats

About the Word:

Ancient Egyptians loved cats and honored them by depicting gods and goddesses in feline form (for example, the goddess Bastet); still, the prefix ailur-(meaning “cat”) crept into English as a gift from the Greeks.

Next Time Buy Your Own
Posted on July 24, 2012 by dave
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney for sending in today’s report from Belleville, Illinois, where bozo Shannon White called 911 to report a problem. Or at least she considered it a problem. The cops might not agree. When asked what her emergency was, our bozo told the operator that her boyfriend was hogging all the beer and wouldn’t give her any. Uh, OK. She’s been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and false use of 911.

CANDIDATE NAME CHANGE

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — Thomas Jefferson is running for Congress in Kansas. Of course, it’s not the Thomas Jefferson who wrote the Declaration of Independence and was the third president. This Thomas Jefferson used to be Jack Talbert. He’s legally changed his name. Talbert-now-Jefferson says it’s a tribute to his idol. Jefferson tells the Topeka Capital-Journal he hopes to win some votes with his new name, too. Jefferson is the Libertarian candidate for Congress in Kansas’ 4th District.

NARRAGANSETT BEER-RETRO

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — The “Jaws” beer is going retro. Remember the scene in Jaws, where Quint crushes a can of ‘Gansett with one hand to intimidate Hooper? Well, Narragansett Beer is reintroducing the design it used in the 1970s. It has a ship and a red diagonal stripe. But Rhode Island’s best-known beer says the retro look will be temporary.

SOLAR COOK

GREEN VALLEY, Ariz. (AP) — Marilou Johnstone has a bright idea — cooking with the sun. She calls herself a solar cooking nut. She bakes bread in a solar oven, simmers spaghetti sauce on a parabolic cooker and even smokes ribs. As for the smoking, she uses a magnifying glass like device to set wood chips on fire. But if you want fast — don’t try the solar method. Johnstone tells the Green Valley, Arizona, News that it takes about 15 minutes just to cook an egg.

BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS-STRIPPERS DETAINED

TORTOLA, British Virgin Islands (AP) — Four male strippers from Florida are finding they’re unwelcome in the British Virgin Islands. The Fort Lauderdale men are pleading guilty to illegal entry. But they contend a promoter had assured them that proper work permits had been arranged. Andre Baker, Reginald Billings, Asa Ambrister and Alesian Rolle had been hired to dance at a BVI hotel. They face up to $1,000 fine or a year in jail each. The male strippers are set to be sentenced today.

STATE POLICE-MOTORCYCLES

LANSING, Mich. (AP) — Michigan State Police are going German. Some motorcycle troopers will be riding BMWs instead of Harleys. Nine BMW R1200s have been bought to join the Harleys in the MSP’s fleet of 24 motorcycles. State police spokeswoman Shannon Banner says the beemers performed better in annual tests. The Detroit Free Press reports the BMWs are also a little cheaper than the American-made Harley-Davidsons.

PAINTED PIG PILFERED

GARDEN CITY, Mich. (AP) — Willie the pig is going to need some work. The sculpture of a plump porker was stolen last month in a Detroit suburb. Willie was found along a bike trail by a family, which took the pig home. They didn’t realize it was stolen until later and then called police. The Garden City Downtown Development Authority says the shiny, red sculpture is worth more than $6,000. Willie is missing three hooves and his snout. Officials are trying to determine if Willie can be fixed.