As there appears to be irreconcilable differences, I propose the Traditional MOAB duel to sort things out. At dawn or some time after you awaken, bathe, brush your teeth, have breakfast, etc., you go to an open field or an appropriate street (although an fog-shrouded alley lined with live oaks dripping Spanish moss is best) and propel a projectile* in the direction of Pocatello, Idaho (don't do this somewhere where you might hit a house or another person or anything -- safety counts!). If you don't know the correct direction I suggest a map and a compass.

For my part, I shall return to Pocatello on the 27th, and on July 28th, as early as possible, I shall propel something in the direction of Moncton, New Brunswick.

Afterwards, our wounds bound by the surgeon, we retire to a convivial glass or twelve in a quaint old pub. In these situations even Budweiser is acceptable.

My attorneys, should you wish to contact them, is the old and prestigious firm of Rubor, Tumor, Dolor, and Calor.

Rap... as I have never employed your better half in either or combined profession(s), I can offer no opinion on such implied bad mouthin. If you wish to pursue your line of egregious questioning, I direct you to my solicitors, Dooey Pluckem Fuckem and Chuckem.

Please be advised that my wife is both a librarian (MA in Library Science from Villenova University, Fellowship in Medical Librarianship at St. Louis University, much experience) and an attorney (JD from University of Akron Law School, admitted to the Bar in Indiana and Ohio, admitted to practice in the Federal Courts of both States, Assistant General Counsel at the University of Notre Dame, private practice).

Oh, yes! What would you like to know? How about autocoprophagic behavior in animals and people? There's a neat discussion of that. Or why only 6% of bulemics use "chew and spit" (a/k/a "CHSP") instead of vomiting? There's also a great discussion of flatus and its odor -- Spaw would have liked that. I'll bet you didn't know that the enzymes in saliva make it one of the better things to use on stains -- which gives you an excuse when you drool on yourself. Or about "hooping" in prison life, something that ol' Shame McBride could use to make money.

I have been reading "Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal" by Mary Roach. There are a lot of great words and things in it, such as "grumous""glabrous" and "periblepsis." I have also come up with a great toast for someone you don't like: "May your oligosaccharides never break down!" (There is even a copy of the Bristol Stool Chart.)

That's good sippin' whiskey, son. You and the bug lady could sit out on the back porch sippin', watchin' the fireflies blinkin' on and off, your hand brushes hers and a spark jumps between you two...the likker explodes and you end up in the same hospital room...true romance awaits!

Hmmm...the cornmeal will ferment and make mash, which you can then filter and run through your still*. With the tobacco virus you'll have smokes AND booze, then invite the bug lady over and have a party!

Sprinkle a generous amount of ground cornmeal on the ground around where your tomatoes were and you'll cut down on the fungus that is in the soil under the plants. You can also make an anti-fungal tea by soaking cornmeal in water and then sprinkling or spraying from a backpack sprayer on the remaining plants.

Yes, A. It is. I still have your smoke butts in my coffee table ashtray and your crushed up smokes box on the table as a reminder, a 'shrine to', if you will, your wonderful visitation with your cousin to my humble yet welcoming abode. Plus, like I said before, I can't be arsed to do any housework. It's a balance in my mind, eh? A justification that works for me.

SRS... I got seven small tomatoes today. Deeeelicious. The other 8 plants are toast due to tobacco virus. They are all messed up even with spraying them twice a week with hydrogen peroxide. Been on the news... Agriculture Canada alert too... all over the province. Bad news. Destroy your infected plants ASAP.

Rapp raises an interesting question. In an average Starbucks coffee-shop, how many by percentage or count as you see fit are actively having to restrain themselves from committing mayhem on the others? Is Rapp in the most primal 1 per cent? The most brutish ten percent? What's your guess?

Indeed. I have no arrived back in my lovely safe and well-equipped home in California where Spell Check rules, and am prepared to say that a two day visit tot he high Rockies (up near Mosca Pass) is like a sudden transport to another planet. My mind still reels with the extraordinary beauty of those mountain vales and peaceful stands of high conifers, dappling aspens, ponderosa and galloping Sand Dunes. Whew!

IAMOSITE am killing a little time intheSalt Lake City aero port having just bumped and wrangled my way down from DEnver, the world's most complicated airport. Spent the weekend hiking at around 8-10,000 feet, driving over higher passes up to 12,000. The perspectives were pure-dee amazing, I swan. All the creeks were swollen up and raging along, making the rolling pains happy. Late monsoon this year after a skimpy winter. Waving fr California shortly.

Holy shit Batman! I just went outside to mow the back lawn. I just came the fuck back in. Lawn not mowed. The lawn mower was sweating.

Now, now, now... it's not Texas or some other exotic paradise kinda hot but I live where it goes from +40C to -40C on a accounta 'Mom Nature is gonna fuck with you' today and you deal with it. It's only about 40H right now but this little black duck is not gonna have a heart attack over some grass. It'll be there tomorrow.

My ladybugs are keeping the aphids at bay and laying eggs. I am so happy to have met The Butterfly Lady.

I have a friend who is just on the north end of Greenwich Village, near the meatpacking district and Chelsea. Too bad you didn't say where you'd be sooner or maybe he could have let you go to his place to use his Internet. Maybe next time.

A is off and far out. SRS only has time away for here absolutely beautiful garden and yard to post one word. Ebbie has gone football mad (as I shall be in a few hours... GO HIGH GERMANY!!!). Looks like a job for GNUMAN! gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnu gnuuuuuuuuuuuu

SRS.. don't see her around much. Only twice this year. I'd like to chat with her more often as she sure knows a lot about bugs. Alas, to do so would require me constantly checking the back property line to see if she is out with her net and other entomology tools (glass jar and such).

I'll be keeping all my buttons done up. I am too old for any unbuttoning. Yes, 57 may seem young for some but not for me. I know me and my situation(s) so, there it is. I make light of it for myself and for any that may like my light. One has to laugh... or die.