Title: The one with...a drabble batchSeries: WTFRating: SafeGenre: HumourDisclaimer: I do not own anyone mentioned, however I do own this plot and universeSummary: Various drabbles

AN: Uh hello...anyone out there? Please don't throw that stone in your hand T_T I'm sorry it's been so long but my computer broke during the summer and it has just now been fixed, finally. Also you have to sacrifice a small child to get a computer at my uni, seriously. I have seen people fight over the computers there, one girl actually tried to shove me off of a computer I was making a presentation on. I hate people. These are just a few drabbles I've come up, they're not much but meh they amuse me XD

Jin grinned excitedly as he looked around the room, his children however looked up at their father with such sullen expressions; as teenagers throughout the world had perfected. Kazuya was ignoring his entire family and was instead reading a rather saucy novel, he raised an eyebrow at a particularly kinky scene. Maybe he and Jin could try that sometime, they’d have to get a new ladle but he supposed if no one else found out it was alright to use their current one.

“Okay, I have got the most exciting and wonderful news and you are all going to love me forever” Jin was almost bursting at the seams with excitement, Kazuya was actually surprised he hadn’t already blurted out his little surprise to the children before now.

“Hurry up old man, I’ve got a soufflé in the oven and I don’t want it to burn” Hayato was tapping his foot impatiently, daring his father to allow that soufflé to burn. Thinking back Kazuya probably should have encouraged his son to pick up a less dangerous hobby, maybe one that didn’t risk burning down the house.

“Yeah dad, I have to get back to my phone call with Junichi” Shuji glared at Jin and Jin winced at the mention of Shuji’s newest boyfriend. Jin hated him. Hated. Kazuya was pretty impressed; just last week Shuji was dating a university freshman and he had already found a new one. Ryu, however, looked between his father and siblings. He didn’t really have an excuse but he certainly didn’t want to sit here and listen to his father babble about nonsensical things no one else cared about.

“Okay okay” Jin recovered from the mention of Shuji’s latest boyfriend and graced his family with a wide grin. “I” He paused for dramatic effect. “Have got tickets for a three day stay at Disney Hotel and access to the amusement and water park” He looked so damn proud of himself. He waited with bated breath as his children processed the information. Silence filled the room before Ryu cleared his throat and broke it.

“We’re not five anymore” The boy was drowned out by his brothers’ excited squealing. He watched with disbelief as the two boys began jumping and down with excitement. He massaged his temples in frustration.

“Idiots” Shuji and Hayato didn’t hear however as they had tackled Jin to the ground and were rambling on about meeting Mickey and Goofy with their father. The apple certainly did not fall far from the tree. And Ryu was still the only sane one in the family.

Snipped

Kazuya hummed happily as he changed Ryu’s nappy, the little baby was smiling and giggling at his mama who was making funny faces. His twin, however, was squirming and whining as his not so chipper papa was changing his nappy. Jin had been down all day, not even the promise of strawberry cheesecake and a blowjob later on would brighten his mood. He looked down at Shuji who glared up at him with such big wide eyes; wide eyes that the baby had gotten from him, from Jin junior. Jin’s eyes welled up with tears and he looked at his wide pleadingly but Kazuya just glared at him.

“I don’t think so Bakanishi, I am not getting pregnant again” With these words Jin started sobbing; he didn’t want to get snipped, he liked his balls. Kazuya rolled his eyes and picked up both babies before leaving the room, and leaving Jin to sob hysterically on the floor as he mourned the upcoming loss of his manhood (not that he had any to start).

The resemblance is uncanny

“Isn’t she just wonderful?” Tsuchi fixed his worried gaze on Hayato who was currently gazing adoringly at a girl who was the very opposite of wonderful. The other boys looked to Tsuchi for answers but the taller boy just shrugged helplessly: he was as confused as the others. When Hayato told them he had a girlfriend they expected a cute girl from their class, or maybe even a hot upperclassman. Not this. No one could have expected that girl was Hamada Yuuko.

The girl in question hadn’t noticed people were staring as she was too busy beating up an upperclassman. The senior must have been twice the height of her and at least three times as wide but that didn’t seem to matter she beat the boy mercilessly. It didn’t surprise anyone that she had the boy cowering at her feet. Tsuchi swallowed and tried to think of a response.

“Uh I” He stopped what he was saying and looked to his friends for help but the others just shrugged helplessly. Hayato tore his loving gaze from Yuuko and fixed Tsuchi was an expecting stare. Tsuchi bit his lip as he tried to find something nice to say about the girl who tormented the entire school on a daily basis.

“She’s very uh spirited” Hayato instantly lit up and nodded in agreement before diving into a very enthusiastic rant about how amazing she was. Hyuuga raised an eyebrow at Tsuchi but the taller boy just shrugged.

Once she had finished teaching the senior a lesson Yuuko sauntered over to the group of boys, if possible Hayato’s grin got even wider. He sprang forward with the girl’s schoolbag, which he had been holding for her whilst she tore into the now sobbing senior, and handed it to her with a sparkling smile. She took it with a grunt of thanks before walking away and Hayato instantly followed her like a good little puppy. The rest of the boys watched with a sense of hopelessness as the girl and boy laced their hands together. Tsuchi really couldn’t understand how Hayato could fall for someone as brutish as Yuuko when Kame-mama was the sweetest person alive.

…Meanwhile…

“YOU BASTARD, I’LL KILL YOU!” Jin ducked frying pan with a loud squeal and ducked behind the counter. The pan smashed into the wall and fell to the ground with a loud clang.

“I already said I was sorry” Another missile was thrown: a menu this time. “And should you really be doing this is your condition?” A shriek instantly followed this remark and Jin winced as a plate smashed into the wall in front of him. They were pretty lucky the restaurant was closed for an hour and the place was devoid of customers or he’d have a hard time explaining this. There was nothing but silence now; Jin couldn’t even hear Kazuya breathing. He bit his lip before tentatively poking his head above the counter to make sure his wife was alright.

“Kazu are you - ” He never got to finish his sentence as Kazuya had launched the nearest blunt object (a soy sauce container) at Jin’s head. The object made perfect impact, right between the eyes, and Kazuya would have celebrated this achievement had Jin not collapsed behind the counter.

~

He could hear echoed, fuzzy voices as he gazed blearily into the darkness, he was pretty sure he could hear crying and Yamapi’s voice. He could hardly make out what he was saying.

“Hard head” Jin winced and tried not to slip back into unconsciousness. “Fine” Yeah, that was Yamapi’s voice, Jin couldn’t really understand what he was saying though. There was mention of snipping something before Jin heard his beloved wife’s voice.

“Not fool proof” Jin could feel himself slipping back into unconsciousness again but he wanted to assure Kazuya that he was alright, he hated seeing the younger man upset. “Mean to knock him out” Everything was so fuzzy to Jin but even he understood what they were talking about. This time he gladly slipped back into sleep: he didn’t want to wake up to Kazuya when he had gotten the younger man pregnant again.

Yes, that is right Kame is pregnant againDamn Bakanishi and his fertile loins XDI originally was going to make Shuji pregnantBut that included so much angst and drama and feelsAnd I love pregnant Kame

I feel like I should explain the whole Kame-mama is sweet therefore Hayato's girlfriend should beI'm sure most of your know that there's a common belief that boys go out with girls like their mums and girls go out with boys like their dadsI've heard nothing about gay/bi/whateversexuality partner choosing thoughWasn't much of an explanation but hush

I have so many fics to catch up on but I also have so much work to doI wish I wasn't a student T_T