What a useless book

by Raj
(San Francisco CA, USA)

I am an Indian male and found the book to be preachy and badly written ( not very different from other books by the author). Although on surface it seems to speak to both men and women but at the base it was a constant reminder specifically to women on how THEY should "behave" with their men to keep a happy marriage going. I particularly lost any respect for the author when she toted the "supremacy" of "arranged marriage" concept in India which she proudly declares to be "tested and proven to work" for centuries in comparison to last 50 years of "Love Marriages". I do not know what part of social India does Ms De inhabits but just because arranged marriages went on centuries ago does not necessarily mean they were happy and/or successful. They went on since one party mostly women had NO OTHER alternative ( not even to get gratifying sex outside marriage). Financially they were dependent on their husbands, were married off at 17-18 ( case in point her own mother)and till about 80 years ago did not have divorce or any other out from the marriage institution legally or otherwise. Socially divorce is still not as accepted in India as it is in the western world again specially for women.

Also the author's nonsensical deduction about the young generation of today very happy at leaving the marriage partner quest to Mommy and Daddy is completely wrong in my opinion. Not only the author finds this to be true she is very happy and proud that the younger generation specially the males even though they may have their fun with girlfriends and do the dating scene , when it comes to finding a wife the holy mantra is "Mom knows best". I did not know whether to laugh or cry at this depiction of my birth country's youth. Grown men who are smart enough to get great jobs and are educated leave everything to Mommy when they want to find a wife and THIS in Ms Shobha's mind is the perfect way to find a spouse??

The only thing more boring than this nonsense is the constant barrage of "look how perfect my husband Dilip is" anecdotes sprinkled all through the book.