I have struggled with some of (my) perceived expectations of the role of stay at home mum. In an ideal world, I feel that caring for my child is a full-time 24 hour a day commitment. I need to watch, care for and entertain her constantly. I also feel that I never signed up to be a “house wife”, I studied, I wanted a career. Whilst I enjoy being in a clean and tidy space, i don’t enjoy the process. Some people claim to love cleaning, I am not one of them. And to be honest, it created some resentment between myself and my Husband. We used to split jobs round the house pretty equally. He had lived alone before I met him, so was used to looking after himself, I worked longer hours than him. We figured out a balance, mostly without discussion, we just slipped into our roles. that said, when two adults who clear up after themselves, and are out the house most of the day, how much mess can there really be? Fast forward to present day, and life with a toddler. Well you can imagine the scene. I know my Husband respects the challenges of looking after our daughter, he (fortunately) is not one of those people who have ever asked “what I do all day”, and doesn’t come home every single night expecting Supper on the table. That said, he works long hours, he works hard, he’s tired, he mightn’t expect me to do all the housework, but he’s not in a position to do it all, and it’s got to get done.

So I have choices, I live in a chaotic mess that gets me down, I embrace my inner 1950s Housewife (I don’t think I have one), or I find a new path. And here in lies the beauty of my living more with less project. I focused on the 3 areas which I find most annoying and tackled them first:

The linen cupboard– a jumble of sheets, towels, and linen, totally over 100 items. Not for a medium-sized B&B, but for two beds. It probably didn’t bother me when it was just the bi-weekly sheet change, but once my toddler started having nappy situations, crumbs in her bed, and the frustrating spell of coughing at night till she vomited, well suddenly I was wrestling through this cupboard, in the dark, trying not to full rouse the sleep thief. It become a big source of angst. Thankfully, it was one of the easiest areas to dramatically downsize. I don’t have too much emotional attachment to duvet covers. So off it all went, and now we have a modest stack or easily locatable items.

The laundry- I feel as though if I don’t do a wash pretty much daily this huge backlog develops. Every radiator in the house seems covered with clothes, and there is perpetually a stack on the chair in our bedroom of clothes that need putting away. With a stalemate between my husband and I until one of us (me) gives in. You’d think the bulging wardrobes would indicate we have plenty of clothes so could go a month without washing anything (isn’t that why someone has twenty pairs of pants after-all?!). But it never works out this way does it? So without outsourcing to a hotel laundry, or giving up washing all together, I needed a solution. Downsizing the input seemed the obvious choice. So I am working my way through our wardrobes. We may not be at “capsule” status as yet, but I am aiming to half the contents at least.

Toys- every parents will be familiar the endless struggle to keep on top of all the toys, they infiltrate every conceivable space. Now I am certainly not advocating taking away all my Daughter’s possessions, like some fairytale baddy. A good start for me is stopping purchasing anything new, it’s so easy as her skills and interest develop to want to get new books, new puzzles, new things to play with. I am also going to trial having a couple of different boxes of toys on rotation. This way things can be new and interesting, and hopefully a little less floor coverage. She is of an age where I am starting to encourage her to tidy up with me. I don’t want to restrict her play, and insist she only uses one toy at a time, but if I can try to get her to slow a little, rather than flit from object to object at warp speed, that’ll be a start.

Week two done and dusted. To catch up with week one’s progress, you can click here. The good thing about creating your own challenges is you can make them up as you go. This week I continued not purchasing anything beyond the essentials. This basically encompasses consumables: food, fuel, train tickets, nappies. I did buy a couple of bunches of flowers as gifts also, but as I said, that’s the joy of following my own challenge. I am not advocating or targeting a purist minimalist lifestyle. i read recently, if an object gives you joy, thats a great guide to know if you keep it or not.

I have been really enjoying the challenge so far, and although I haven’t found it too difficult, I been shocked by how many times I need to catch myself-it has become second nature to click click and buy. If Amazon Prime goes into administration you will know why! It’s simple enough to keep off online shopping, or not head to a department store. It’s more the likes of Instagram scrolling, or a trip to the Supermarket. It had become second nature to pick up a few additional bits and pieces.

I decided to extend upon the non purchasing to getting rid of some of the “stuff” in our home. I tend to hang onto stuff, I get emotional attached to the memories associated with items, and the story they tell. Seriously, do all 21 table spoons all have precious memories. That’s no exaggeration, twenty one! As I mentioned in my six tips to help you begin decluttering, I found recording the number of items really helped me focus on just how unnecessary all this additional “stuff” was. It gave me a good laugh too ( as well as being somewhat confronting), nine dressing gowns for three people, over twenty hats, enough pillow cases for us to have seven each-you get my point. I’m sure I won’t be the only one who has actually moved house with some of their “stuff” and still not really used it. To think some of these items have travelled from the Uk to Australia and back and are still unused.

I spoke about some of the great practical reasons for decluttering in last weeks post, like being able to find what i am looking for in an instant (and not getting an avalanche of bedding land on me each time I go to look for a sheet). Another great motivator is thinking who can benefit from what you are allowing to gather dust. I have a box which contains pots pans glasses and a full kitchen starter kit which I will be delivering in the week to a Charity which work with resettling Refugees in our Community. The excess towels (from the eighteen we had hoarded away) are going to a local Animal Charity. I handed bed linen sets to my younger sister who is studying and has recently moved. I gave a bag of jewellery from a tip to india to the little girls who live next door and I think will love dressing themselves in jingly beads. It feels good to know that objects I haven’t been using to their full potential, will find a new lease of life, in a new home.

So far I have found already five hundred items I can part with, I am amazed how easily I found them, and there’s certainly more to come.

For the following week I will continue my non purchasing and working through the house decluttering. I am going to really focus on what I do bring into the house, and build up for a zero purchase week for week four.

If you’re not familiar with the work of Gretchen Rubin’s ideas about behaviours, habits and willpowers-in brief it is, the concept that once something becomes an ingrained habit, it requires no decision making, less conscious thought and struggles with willpower. I guess that’s something I am hoping to work towards with my challenges, that by committing to the new behaviours, they will become habits. Taking a moment before click clicking through, and being more mindful about needs not wants.

Join in for week two: start going through your home more critically, there are bound to be so many things you can live without. Lots of tips to get your started here.