It’s pretty simple, really. I learned all 87 rules in the NHL 2009 – 2010 rulebook in 107 days leading up to the Winter Olympics on February 12, 2010. Since then I've covered the entire IIHF Rulebook and I'm now up to the NHLPA's Collective Bargaining Agreement. Sure, I tried finding non-hockey related hobbies, but it's hard to find book clubs that want to read every hockey book ever written.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Minor Penalty If You Don't Know What Underwear Means.

The distraction: Replay of the San Jose vs. Anaheim playoff series on NHL Network.

Why I chose it: Because it's better than no hockey at all. Because I never saw it the first time. Because it was the game where Jonas Hiller became something like the 10th goalie in NHL history to get a shutout on his first playoff game.

Cliche of the week: Mike Fisher married Carrie Underwood on Saturday. A hockey player marries an actress/model/singer. Is it news? Not if you're a diehard hockey fan and you follow the headlines. I'm convinced somwhere there is a secret NHL Rulebook and it states that all players must marry blonde women with no body fat who have graced the cover of Vogue at least once.

555: Any player who wears his equipment or visor in any way that may cause injury to an opponent, or wears any non-approved equipment, shall be ruled off the ice and a warning shall be issued to his team. If a player or goalkeeper does not wear his equipment, except gloves, health protection and goalkeepers leg guards, entirely under his uniform, he shall be assessed a minor penalty. It's also a minor for cutting the palm out of the glove to expose the bare hand, wearing dangerous or illegal skates or equipment and destroying or refusing to surrender for measurement any suspected illegal equipment.

Morals of the story:

The game: I want to see the player who tries to get away with the visor violation. I mean, it's not like you can't see it if the player's got it popped up or poking out in some way so as to stab other players in the head. And boys, how hard it is to keep the equipment under your jersey and pants? I tried a regulation size jersey on in a sports store in Canada, and it came down very nearly around my ankles. Of course, I'm 5'9", but still, that's plenty of room to keep it all under your equipment.

Life: I also want to see this in the professional world. It's the equivalent of telling business professionals not to wear their underwear on the outside of their business suits. Just once I want to see somebody do it. Not just anybody either. I want to see what the resident office prudes have on underneath it all. Because it never matches the outside. Because I want to see the look on everyone else's face. Because let's face it, even if it was just plain old white jockey briefs, corporate America needs a good underwear incident now and again, just to keep everyone from falling asleep at meetings.

About Me

I’m Samantha and I’m a hockey addict. It wasn’t always this way. Until I was 12, I’d never even seen a hockey game. I grew up in Arizona, before the Phoenix Coyotes, in the pre-historic era known as the seventies. Enter the eighties, which coincided with the sports event of the century. On February 22, 1980, the United States men’s hockey team defeated the Russians. I was a pre-teen, oblivious to what that game meant, until it interfered in my ability to hang out at the mall. My father had agreed to chauffeur me…after he was done watching the game. I stomped to my room in rebellion. But somewhere in the first period the yelling and stomping overpowered my REO Speedwagon record. So, I relented and the rest is history. As we approach the 30th anniversary of that victory, I have shamefully come to realize I love a game to which I don’t know the rules. 30 years and I don’t even know what a hat trick is -- unacceptable. That, fellow hockey nerds, is coming to an end with this blog.