Your favorite Rihanna is on the cover of Elle's May issue, doing something very good in a studded yellow Versace skirt and jacket combination. I'm not buying into her pale pink lip or unfortunate skunk hair (which, I'm happy to report, is no longer a thing: the pop star just dyed her hair back to black), but Rihanna's whole shtick is making ludiChriscrous mistakes and still being the best, so this cover is nothing if not on-brand.

Elle has released a couple of faux-tantalizing quotes from the feature interview. She says all the right things, manages to be vaguely inspiring and seemingly emotionally mature without revealing anything substantial. Her very public (and truly shocking) breakup with Chris Brown was "embarrassing," but also her "liberation, [her] moment of bring it." Our national panic attack over her reconciliation with the abusive rapper was annoying, but "people end up wasting their time on the blogs or whatever, ranting away, and that’s all right. Because tomorrow I'm still going to be the same person. I'm still going to do what I want to do.”

Also, Rihanna could have children tomorrow! JK, she says she totally needs "a man" first, which isn't technically true. There are other ways. And if every woman in the world held out for an actual man (in an emotional and moral, not anatomical, way) to have children with, we wouldn't be facing an overpopulation crisis. Because as she sagely points out, "I feel like it’s hard for everybody! I don’t think it has anything to do with being famous. There’s just a major drought out there." Ya.