Thursday, January 26, 2006

It Marches with Doom

Upon surveying my beloved land of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, I must shed a tear. The temporal forces upon this country, this blog and this lifestyle are tearing it apart. Therefore, I am going forced to admit that the concept of Time is unconstitutional. As Archchancellor, I cannot directly declare it as such, but its existance clearly contradicts the citizen's right to live forever. Immortality is not difficult to achieve in a land filled with robots, but if there is time allowed after one's existance, this the definition of immortality blurs. Furthermore, it is strictly Periodist, and Periodism is against the law. My predeccessor politicians would have said that, as long as the time periods are equal, separating them is convenient and acceptable. However, today we know that separate is inherently inequal. The future has hovercars, and yet I am-- and my people are-- forced to commute via subterranian trolleycars. This is an injustice against our period, even though we have advanced in great strides. My grandparents had to walk uphill both ways to recieve their state-provided educations.

I have a dream, of one day, that will last forever and contain all things-- as equals.

Today, I pass legislation to Abolish time. All those who continue to experience it are in direct violation of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere's lawful and god-endorsed government.

I will be in my hyperisolation chamber, and will hear no more of this "Temporal Stresses" nonsense.