Purchasing Memories

My life has been filled with highs and lows, like most lives, I am sure. I have experienced the joy of horseback riding at dawn, cold spring water on my naked toes, my children’s radiant smiles, candlelit Christmas Eve services, so many moments of pure happiness. I have endured times of great sorrow that darken my heart and leave me feeling empty. When I think back on the life I have lived I am grateful for all of the highs and lows.

I recently have been pondering what defines my happiness. I will think on the joyous times in my life, wondering how I was so lucky to have been blessed with such bliss. Remembering events and occasions that put a smile on my face. Everything, from watching a serene moonrise in the country to the births of my sons. Joy I couldn’t duplicate if I tried. Don’t get me wrong I am not a happy-go-lucky all the time kind of gal. In fact, I sometimes struggle with my own personal positivity, trying to remain happy. I have been looking back at my short existence on this planet, thinking what things help me to be happy.

I have never thought to put a price tag on happiness. I believe your monetary status does not define how happy you are or are not. Yet, if I want to be perfectly honest with myself, it does. I am not interested in buying the latest gadget or fancy vase for my home. I do not acquire stuff just to fill the void of sadness. I do however know many of my happy memories were purchased. The value of a tank of gas, and a tent. The reliable car to put the tent and gas in. The financial ability to purchase food, a map, and incidentals for a weekend road trip. A weekend away with the man I love creating our own memories required money. Even if the monetary contribution is minimal it is still required to some extent. Why haven’t I traveled to every corner of the world? Not enough money.

My memories of happiness are not returnable. I have purchased them. They are mine. Money did not always purchase them because my happiness is strictly dependent on my attitude. Money helped to purchase situations and events, so in a way I purchased memories.