My absence is what prompted me to call Larry Lucchino, the Red Sox’ chief executive, an hour after the final out of the five-game sweep.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” he said, surprisingly taking the call. “After being beaten up as we were this weekend, it’s hard to be analytical and objective at this moment, so I don’t think I have anything to say.”

Do you have a reaction, I asked? “Of course, I have a reaction,” he replied.

Would you care to share it?

“No,” Lucchino said. “I said I’m not going to have anything to say. I make a practice of not having postgame or post-series comments. I try to let a little time and perspective intervene, so I’m going to stick to that.”

How much time would he need?

“Wait a few days,” he said.

I was prepared to do that, but less than a minute later Lucchino changed his mind.

“One observation one could make without a need for any additional perspective,” he said, “is the Yankees are a formidable ball team at this time. They have depth and talent and balance and an approach and philosophy that are to be admired.”

Larry, I would just like to remind you of something you said less than 20 months ago:

“We have a slogan around here: ‘Any group of schlemiels can win once.’ We gotta win more than once….”

Guess what L.L. Fool Day, you’re soon going to be 0-2 now after that “once.” And, we’re still waiting……for proof that you’re not a schlemiel.

I can’t get the picture out of my head now – Larry Lucchino wearing the sweater with the big “L” on it, and John Henry in a poodle skirt, arm in arm, skipping down the street singing “Schlemiel, schlimazel, hasenpfeffer incorporated!”

Comments on Hey, Larry, Who’s Your Empire?

Just got back from vacation to find out what happened. I’m EXTREMELY pissed that I missed this weekend’s games because I feel like I missed out on a lot of fun.

I find it funny that “Laverne” Lucchino would be so testy in answering questions from a reporter that works for the company that owns 20% of the Red Sox. I would think talking to The Times would be like talking to a member of his own p.r. department.