Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu Selfish Kiss!

Summary:

One quiet night without monsters, the Defence Club takes a trip to a travelling fair and its house of mirrors. What walks into school the next morning is a very different club. Passive sins such as insolence and indolence are no longer a concern to the Student Council when faced with this mysterious change. The only way to get answers is to defeat this new threat.

However, what stands before them is no longer their familiar Defence Club but magical knights searching for happiness - Selfish Kiss!

Notes:

I adore the whole evil self trope. I love when they have to fight their evil selves or their anxieties and all that. And I love evil mirror world tropes. And after some discussion I got talked into turning this into a full chaptered fic.

Chapter Text

“Huh? Are you scared, Ryoma-senpai?” he laughs. “Supposedly, if you look into a mirror like this at the stroke of midnight, the thirteenth reflection comes alive.” He glances back with a grin. Taishi and Ryoma are staring at him. “It’ll reach out from the mirror and drag you in and take your place.”

“Ahhh!”

He turns again. Ryoma and Taishi are clinging to each other as Nanao laughs. What? Nanao smiles back at him and Ichiro shakes it off.

“You two really are too easy,” Nanao laughs, putting his arm around Ichiro’s shoulder and guiding him away deeper into the hall of mirrors. “This was actually a great idea for you, Ichiro-kun.”

“And it’s a place for Ichiro to tell creepy stories,” Taishi says, pushing up his glasses. “You should have more respect for Ryoma-senpai’s nerves, Ichiro.”

“You screamed too, Taishi-kun,” Nanao laughs, waving a hand.

“How can you even think about sleeping with all this creepy stuff around, Kyotaro?” Ryoma mutters.

“Kyotaro-senpai could sleep anywhere and through anything,” Ichiro laughs. “Hey, hey, hey. Last one out is buying dinner, ok?”

“Ichiro, don’t run off!” Taishi calls, running after him.

“Behave, children,” Nanao calls after them.

“I think I’ll wait here by the entrance,” Kyotaro yawns.

“We’ll go together then, Ryoma-kun.”

The maze of mirrors is confusing. Taishi ends up holding Ichiro’s sleeve as they head through the mirrors, just to keep from losing him. It’s creepy to see so many face staring back at them. Even if they are his own. He’s sure they’re moving more than they should.

Wait that’s his voice! Ichiro steps closer to Taishi. He doesn’t like this. There are footsteps moving around them. His voice laughs and Taishi’s fingers brush his. Something really isn’t right. Is it another monster? Is this more of that magical knight stuff?

“Wakura-senpai, if this is a joke it’s not funny,” Taishi snaps.

“Taishi.”

The voice has a definite direction now. They turn and it’s him. Standing there. It’s just his reflection? Their reflections. He steps forward and their hands rest either side of the glass. Just a reflection. He sighs and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Ichiro.”

He turns and opens his eyes, smiling back at Taishi. “This is all really creepy, huh, Taishi?”

“I hate that smile,” Taishi says.

“Huh?”

Taishi’s fist slams into the mirror next to his head and cracks spider outwards from the impact as Ichiro stares up at him. His hands are already bandaged. Ichiro didn’t notice before. Taishi had hurt himself again recently? No. There’s something nasty in his eyes. And he’s not wearing his glasses! What’s going on with Taishi?!

“T-Taishi?!”

“I hate that smile,” Taishi says again, leaning close to his face. “You’re such a hypocrite.”

“What’s wrong with you? What does that even mean?”

Taishi laughs and Ichiro shivers. It’s cruel. Not like his Taishi at all. “Sorry, I forgot to dumb down for you, Ichiro.”

“Don’t try to act like you’re smart, Taishi,” his voice says. Ichiro glances back. The cracked reflection is grinning. What the hell?! “You can use all the big words you like, it doesn’t make you any less trash.”

“I’d rather be trash that rose up and earned my way than a privileged bastard like you who’s never have to work for a thing in his life.”

“Huuuuh? But I have to work constantly. It’s a real trial putting up with a brute like you.”

Ryoma nods and hurries over only for Nanao to snatch his hand away and his nose smacks into a mirror.

“Ah!” He puts his hands over his nose as Nanao laughs. “Ouch...”

“Just kidding,” he giggles, sweeping away.

Ryoma pouts, trying to figure out just where Nanao has gone. His reflection was in front of him, so it must have come from somewhere behind him? He steps back and reaches for the mirror there. It’s angled. So he puts on hand against it and reaches for the one directly across from it. He’ll just have to work his way back to Nanao logically.

“There you are, Kirishima-senpai,” Ichiro says.

Ryoma frowns as the little ones appear from what he was sure was a mirror, not a passage. Has he got turned around again? He frowns a little at them. They look different. What have they been up to? Taishi seems to have lost his glasses and his hair’s a mess, and Ichiro’s is brushed back from his face. And have they swapped uniforms? Has Nanao recruited the little ones to help freak him out?

“Where’s Wakura-senpai?”

“Wakura-sama is hunting, Dougo-kun,” Nanao calls in a sing-song voice.

“Around,” Ryoma replies.

“Oh?” Taishi sneers. Ryoma frowns as Taishi goes to step forward but Ichiro puts an arm out across his chest. “Didn’t you just stop me hurting one? Why do you get to break the rules, Wakura-sama?”

“Because delinquents like you have people watching them constantly,” Ichiro replies, shoving him back a step. Taishi rolls his eyes and turns away. “Besides, Wakura-sama isn’t a brute like you. There are better ways to have fun than just beating them up. You wouldn’t understand.”

“It might not be elegant and sophisticated like your Wakura-sama, but you’ve never complained before.”

“You know, using big words doesn’t make you look better, Taishi.”

“I don’t use them to make me seem smart, dear Ichiro, I use them because you don’t understand them.”

“Ah, let’s not fight, little ones,” Ryoma laughs, waving his hands.

“Shut up, Kirishima!” Taishi snaps at the same as Ichiro’s, “stay out of it!”

What has got into them? “Uh-”

“Little ones,” Nanao says. The children stiffen and Ryoma smiles weakly. There’s something about his tone that sends shivers down his spine and fills him with dread. He’s standing right behind the pair all of a sudden, shadows from his hair hiding his eyes and a rather unsettling smile across his lips. “What have I told you two about being mean to Ryoma-kun?”

“That’s your job, Wakura-sama,” Ichiro whispers, lowering his head as if afraid to turn and face him. “But-”

“You two are really going with the Wakura-sama thing, huh?” Ryoma laughs awkwardly.

“Hmm, you know I can’t stay mad at you two,” Nanao laughs. His smile doesn’t get any less unsettling through, even as he wraps his arms around their shoulders, pulling them close and petting their hair. The two settle and lean into his shoulders. “You’re my kids, after all. How could I ever be mad at you?”

“Wakura-sama,” the pair sigh, snuggling against him.

“Just kidding.” He grabs handfuls of their hair and yanks back, forcing them both down to their knees in front of him, earning small whimpers. “You boys are in big trouble.”

“Wakura-senpai!” Ryoma cries, stepping forward. This is going too far, even for Nanao’s sadism! If this is a joke the kids are in on it’s not funny in the slightest! “That’s too much!”

“We’re sorry, Wakura-senpai!” Ichiro cries.

“We’re sorry,” Taishi agrees.

Nanao sighs, shoving the pair forward onto the floor and stepping towards Ryoma, who takes a step back. What’s wrong with Nanao? What’s going on with him and the little ones? Taishi pushes himself up to his knees, glaring at Nanao’s back and Ichiro’s eyes are as sparkling as ever when he looks up.

“You think it’s too much, Ryoma-kun?” he laughs, running a hand through his hair. “You think I should be nicer to the little ones?”

“Wakura-senpai-”

“Wakura-sama, you’re teaching them bad habits,” he says, shaking his head. His back hits one of the mirrors and Nanao giggles, hand slamming against the mirror beside his head. “You’re not as fiery as my Ryoma-kun, Ryoma-kun.”

“Your-”

“Honestly, they’re not even broken yet,” Nanao says. “You’re going to feel bad for trash and a spoilt brat?”

Ryoma scowls. “Don’t call them tha-”

Nanao puts his hand over his mouth, beaming back at him with a finger against his lips and Ryoma shudders. That can’t be Nanao. It’s got to be a monster or something. Right? There’s no way this is the real Nanao. And Ichiro and Taishi? Them too?

“They know what they are,” he whispers. “No amount of smarts can change that our dear Manza-kun is cleaned up garbage kept by a spoilt heir who plays the part of a fool for the public and is really just a ball of nerves clinging to the one thing he can.”

“Wakura-sama…”

The boys’ soft pained whispers pull at his heartstrings. Nanao would never be so cruel to them.

“That’s enough, don’t you think, Wakura-sama?” Ryoma’s eyes widen. That’s his own voice. Why is his own voice calling through the mirrors when Nanao has a hand over his mouth. “There will be plenty of time for fun once we’re done.”

“Is it ever enough?” Nanao says.

“It is for now, don’t you think? Someone has to check on Kyotaro.”

“Little ones.”

“Yes?”

“Go check on Kyotaro-kun. I want to indulge myself.”

They suddenly look even more terrified than ever. “But-”

“Boys.”

“Yes, Wakura-sama.”

Taishi and Ichiro get up and vanish into the dark maze of mirrors, leaving Ryoma alone with the strangely behaving Nanao and his own voice echoing through the halls. Suddenly Ryoma wishes he could transform without Karls’ kiss.

Kyotaro thinks he’s being watched. He gets that sensation as he naps. He opens his eyes slowly. The little ones are there, watching from around the corner. He smiles tiredly and closes his eyes again, yawning loudly.

“I guess Ryo-chin is paying for dinner then,” he mumbles, head falling back against the mirror. There’s no reply. He opens one eye. They’re still just peeking around the corner watching him. “Tai-Tai, Chiro, you’re distracting me.”

“Tai-Tai?” Ichiro laughs.

“Chiro,” Taishi hisses back.

“What’s wrong, you two?” he says, sitting up slowly. This is going to be effort, isn’t it? The kids stiffen and duck around the corner again. They’re whispering to each other and Kyotaro sighs. “Tai-Tai. Chiro.”

“Yes, senpai?” they call, peaking out again.

“Why are you all the way over there?” He yawns and forces himself up to his feet. “Are you two hiding? You don’t believe you own ghost stories do you, Chiro?”

Taishi shoves Ichiro, who staggers out and glares back, before grabbing his collar and pulling him out too. The pair look terrified. He yawns again before putting his hands on their heads. They stare up at him and he smiles back.

“You two could use a rest,” he says.

They nod and he heads back to his seat by the door, sliding down to sit again. The pair stand awkwardly in front of him, glancing at each other. Weird kids. He closes his eyes and lays his head back. Worrying over youngsters is exhausting.

“Job?” Kyotaro says, opening his eyes again. “Do we have to transform again?” He frowns and glances over them. “Are you two alright?”

“Yes,” they say instantly.

“You two… aren’t Chiro and Tai-Tai.”

He doesn’t know who or what they are but he doesn’t think they’re their little ones. There’s suddenly a dark sensation around them. Not-Ichiro and Not-Taishi step back and Kyotaro tilts his head. He shudders and there’s a heavy sigh.

“Shi-chan,” says a low voice. “Chi-chan.”

“Senpai.”

“You woke me up.”

Kyotaro doesn’t think he sleep talks. This must be a dream. Oh good. He’s glad he’s still sleeping. This funfair was a terrible idea. Still, dreams like this aren’t good for his sleep. It’s not deep enough. He’ll wake up tired. The Nots back up away from him, grasping each other’s hands.

“You can sleep again once you’re on this side,” Not-Taishi says. “Senpai-”

“Kyotaro,” Ryoma calls, stepping over from the shadows. Good. Maybe Ryoma will wake him up and it will all be a dream. He’s ready to wake up and go back to sleep. “Don’t bully the little ones without me here to pick up the pieces.”

“I wasn’t bullying them,” Kyotaro says at the same time as the darker voice of his own voice. He tilts his head as the Nots hurry behind a giggling Nanao. “I think I should wake up now.”

“I think you should go back to sleep, Kyotaro,” he says, approaching slowly.

Kyotaro frowns. “You’re not Ryo-chin either.”

“Isn’t he quick?” Not-Nanao laughs. “I love it.”

“You would,” Not-Ryoma laughs.

“I’m tired,” the other Kyotaro says.

“Then you should have worked harder earlier rather than sleeping away,” he scolds.

“Aaah,” Kyotaro yawns. “Even Not-Ryo-chin is a nagging wife.”

“Let’s get on with this so I can get back to sleep then,” the other Kyotaro yawns. “Standing up is exhausting.”

“So exhausting,” he agrees. “Even this dream is exhausting.”

“Dream?” Not-Nanao laughs. “Not in the slightest.”

He touches his fingers to his lips, eyes flashing with amusement entirely beyond his usual teasing. He blows a kiss and green light flutters across the mirrors. They flash and four mirrors change into windows. There are the other four. The real them. The little ones are beating against the glass, yelling words that don’t come through. Ryoma is slumped against the glass, looking asleep (hopefully asleep), and Nanao has his hands pressed to the glass.

The fifth one is the worry though. There’s Not-him. There’s a dark aura leaking from that mirror. He looks exhausted. No wonder he’s got such a bad aura. He needs to relax and get back to sleep.

“Let’s hurry up,” the other him says. “I want to get back to sleep already.”

Something weird’s going on with the Defence Club.

There’s a weird new feeling about them as they stride through the school gates that morning. They’d left as slovenly as ever last night. They appear as slovenly as ever now, but differently. Ata scowls at them as they pass.

Wakura is leading the way in, striding ahead with an air of elegance and control more pronounced than usual. His smile is crueller than usual. Kirishima and Shuzenji are following. Kirishima is positively beaming, leading Shuzenji along by the wrist. The pair of first years are at the back. Dougo looks like he might actually belong in the school for once. He actually looks like he might be related to Maasa, although his fingers as entwined with Manza’s and he looks more like a delinquent than ever. His hair falls into his face. Shame. He at least usually makes an effort to look presentable to make up for his position. Ata really doesn’t care about his background like some here, as long as he acted the part. Not today though.

It’s just disgusting.

They seem to notice his glare as they pass. Wakura smiles and licks his lips and Manza has the nerve to make an obscene gesture!

Ata goes to get up but Maasa and Unazuki appear. Looking concerned. Furanui is on Maasa’s head, sniffing the air. He doesn’t look impressed either. Something strange is definitely going on. How frustrating.

“What’s wrong with that?” Unazuki says. “Other than the obvious? Is that unusual? We’ve all heard the rumours.”

“My aunt can’t stand Manza. She says he’s below him. She won’t let him in the house. Apparently he snapped at her and just pulled Manza off to his room and they were gone before breakfast. She was on the phone to Father. She was furious.”

“It’s different,” he replies. “They’re happier. And yet, there’s an aura of unhappiness around them. They are drenched in it.”

By the time they time the day has passed, it’s painful obvious there is something wrong with the Defence Club. Ata had spotted Manza, who is usually reasonably behaved, sitting under a tree with Shuzenji all day. Neither attends class all day. They only vanish at lunch. When Manza catches him glaring, there’s another obscene gesture thrown his way. Kirishima is in class, looking bored and disrespectful all day. At lunch, Unazuki reports Wakura is worse than ever and even dared to sneeringly talk back to him. Maasa reports Dougo is also sneering in class, talking back to teachers rather crudely and rather rudely pointing out his family are not only rather impressive donors to the school, but his mother is on the board of directors.

The Defence Club has somehow got worse .

“Shuzenji Kyo-”

“Do not wake him up,” Manza snaps and Ata pauses mid-stride. Manza sits up, eyes narrowed up at him. How dare this delinquent, ill bred first year speak and look at him like that?! “Shuzenji-senpai needs his sleep. Unless you’re about to offer him somewhere better to sleep, get lost.”

“Just who do you think you’re talking to, Manza Taishi?” Ata says.

“A pompous bastard worse than the rest of the school of arrogant, entitled try hards,” he says and Ata’s teeth clench to the point where he hears a creak. “At least their egos match their bank accounts and status. You’re just like me. Trying to be better than you are. Problem is, you’re trying too hard. By acting so fake you just make yourself look even more out of place.”

As if he’s going to listen to Manza Taishi talk about trying too hard! The boy who’s spent every day of his life at Binan up until now trying to fit in. Speaking like he’s better than he is, hiding his course language and sharp tongue and terrible temper.

“Manza Taishi-”

“You’re being too loud,” Shuzenji says. Manza goes stiff. “Shi-chan.”

“Ibusuki is demanding to talk to you, senpai,” Manza says quietly.

Ata frowns a little. Shuzenji has never been much for proper names, but he’s heard him call Manza Tai-Tai often enough to know that is a new nickname. Just what is going on?

Manza grabs the otter’s scruff and yanks him around to glare but Shuzenji snatches him away. “Bath?”

“Yeah, yeah. The Kurotama Bathhouse. We got there like everyday. Why didn’t you let me come to this funfair thing?”

“A bath sounds fun,” Dougo calls, striding over. Manza stands and the pair lean against each other’s foreheads. “I can think of fun things to do in a bath.”

“Horseplay in the baths?” Ata snaps.

“Why not?” he laughs.

“There’s despair,” Funariu says, suddenly jumping onto his shoulder. “We will deal with Prince Karls’ knights in one fell swoop. Despair like this is incredibly strong. It will be a strong monster.”

The three of them find a third year crumpled in one of the classrooms, Wakura sweeping away with a hideously satisfied glaze to his eyes. Kirishima in crouched in front to the older boy, talking to him quietly.

“Nanao?” Unazuki calls. Wakura pauses and glances back at them over his shoulder. “Nanao, what’s going on with you lot?”

“We’re just having a little fun, Taiju,” Wakura replies. He steps forward and Ata doesn’t blame Unazuki for taking half a step back when Wakura’s smoulder gaze is turned on him. “You should try it sometime.” He giggles and licks his fingers. “Won’t you let me break you, Taiju?”

“Nanao?”

“We should go, Ryoma-kun,” he calls. Kirishima bounces out, positively beaming. “I think our dear council wants to make a new monster.”

“You’re the one making the monsters, Wakura-sama,” Ryoma laughs.

“Wakura… sama...?” the three of them repeat.

“This feels like one of these weird anime episodes where they main characters have been brainwashed and become villains,” Maasa says.

“Did we do that somehow?” Unazuki says, looking over at Furanui.

“No,” he growls, ears twitching. “Something very unusual is going on. We must remove them quickly.”

The monster is very different to the others. It’s aura is far darker. The unhappiness far deeper. Something has definitely shifted. They stand above the school, watching the five magical knights. Let’s see their half hearted resolve defeat this monster.

“We’ll have to let the kids enjoy themselves,” Kirishima says. “Until it’s time to steal their fun.”

“Why am I still awake?” Shuzenji says. A dark aura spills from him as he glares up at the monster. The others step back away from him and even the monster hesitates. What on earth? What happened to his natural calming presence? “You’re keeping me awake? I could be napping in a nice hot bath and I’m having to fight monsters?”

Karls climbs up onto his head. “Now, my knights-”

“Get on with the transformation, Karls,” he demands.

“Huh? You guys actually want to-”

“Do it!” they demand.

“Right!” The wall of water comes up around them and Ata scowls. “Now, make your pledge with a kiss!”

Their transformation is as ridiculously flashy as them. But something feels wrong here. Something feels wrong. This isn’t them. Perhaps they’re caught in despair as well. Perhaps they’ve being affected by their monster.

“Magic Knight of the Thorns, Spina Kiss!”

“Magic Knight of the Stars, Nova Kiss!”

“Magic Knight of the Moon, Presagio Kiss!”

“Magic Knight of the Frost, Brina Kiss!”

“Magic Knight of the Void, Vuoto Kiss!”

Those are new titles. New names. And as the water and light fades they’re revealed in new, darker outfits. Ata scowls. They’ve either got a power upgrade or they’re very different people. Is that possible?

This time the kisses they blow transform the school area into a dark, foreboding field, twisting everything. As if a barrier. Beyond, the rest of the school seems unharmed. Perhaps practical. No one else can interfere or get hurt.

“As soon as they’re at their peak,” he replies. “For maximum disappointment.”

“If we’re not finishing it in five minutes I’m stepping in,” Spina Kiss says, blowing a kiss and creating a hammock. Whatever that means, they all go pale and the youngsters glare up at the monster. “And keep it down.”

“Yes, senpai,” the youngsters call.

He lies back in the hammock and the group turns back to the monster, terrible smiles making Ata absolutely sick. Shuzenji never changes, apparently, but these four are a worry now too. These are not their enemies. They are far worse.

“Now, my knights,” Karls calls. “Save him from despair and make him happy once more!”

“It’s much more beautiful to watch him suffering in his own personal hell,” Presagio says in a hideously slurty tone.

“I’ll help him once everyone else has had their fun,” Nova says. “When he can’t sink any lower and has no one else to rely on.”

Karls looks appalled. Ata can’t help thinking the unseemly prince might be right. “But… he’s suffering. You have to make him happy! You’re my knights!”

“You are not his knights though, are you?” Ata calls.

“Ata,” Spina calls. “You’re being too loud.”

“Where are the real Happy Kiss knights?” he demands.

“They’re not them?” Unazuki says.

“You’re fakes?” Maasa cries. “Ew-”

“We’re not fake,” Spina yawns. “No more than you are. Clock’s still ticking. I don’t want to join in.”

“What is it you five want to get from impersonating our schoolmates?” Ata demands.

“To be happy,” the four reply in unison.

“Happy?” Karls says.

“As long as we’re happy,” Spina says quietly, “what else matters?”

“Such an insolent attitude,” Furanui growls.

“If that is your stance, you are our enemies are much as the Happy Kiss knights,” Ata declares, throwing out his arm. “And we will defeat you and restore order!”

“We will return our Defence Club,” Unazuki agrees.

“And get rid of you icky fakes,” Maasa calls.

“We are the Student Council of Binan High School and Furanui Knights, Edelstein!”

The other four laugh but stop as Spina gets up from his hammock and stands with them. “Time’s up.”

“Already?!” the youngsters cry.

“No, but this is starting to piss me off,” Spina replies. “All this talking and arguing. We’re never going to get to a bath where I can sleep.”

The four of them laugh and Spina sighs, their Happy Wands pressed together and pointed straight up at them and the monster. How disgusting. They’re smiling and glaring up at them. As if they’re really going to fight them. And he’d thought the previous Defence Club was annoying. He won’t allow anyone to besmirch Binan’s good name like this bunch. Ata won’t allow them to take his victory from him!

“We are Karls Knights,” they declare and suddenly there’s a magical blast from their wands, heading straight for the monster for unbelievable force. “Selfish Kiss!”

Next Kiss

Furanui Knights, Edelstein must face off against the dangerous and willing Karls Knights, Selfish Kiss!This Defence Club can actually fight?!