26 September 2015

Proof that All My Testosterone has Died

I'm walking through the narrow hallway outside the general district courtroom (misdemeanor court) and the entire way is lined with defendants standing there chatting with each other while they wait for their shoplifting and trespass cases.

Cute girl with impossibly long blonde and pink ponytail (thick as my arm and ending somewhere around her knees) looks up at me:

"You look mean. Are you mean?"

I just keep walking. "That's the job."

The whole hallway burst out in laughter and the girl looked at me confused.

Look, Miss, I know you were expecting me to say something like "Not for someone as young and precious as you, darling", and I realize as a male I am obligated to have my brain turn to mush when a pretty woman talks to me. When I was younger you probably could have wrapped me around your little finger. However, there comes a point in most guys' lives when the testosterone level drops to the point that his brain can continue to function if a hot woman flirts with him. I think I hit that point somewhere in my low to mid thirties. Prior to that point women could (and every so often did) get me to do all sorts of stupid things for them. So, I guess you either have to build a time machine and go back a few years or you're gonna have to take your shot with the younger prosecutor down the hall.

Disclaimer

In case anyone out there needs this warning: This ain't legal advice. Everything in the blog is off the cuff and no one goes back and reads all the cases and statutes before blogging. The law may have changed; cases misread and misunderstood two years ago can still lead to a clinging misperception. Courts in your county, city, or State probably don't operate as described herein. Feel free to be inspired, but YOU MUST ALWAYS DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH OR HIRE A COMPETENT ATTORNEY TO DO SO because I haven't.