Last week, you couldn’t get away from the mountain of buzz (read: clogging your Facebook newsfeed) surrounding the announcement of the new Apple Watch release date. As April 24 is literally right around the corner (and we couldn’t stumble out of our brunch-induced malaise from the super long Easter/Ching Ming holiday weekend before the April 10 order date), our curiosity coaxed us into wanting to know what all the hype was about. So we did some super sleuthing to discover the following:

We are not interested in buying the Apple Watch. Period. And here’s why:

As owners of the first generation Samsung Galaxy Gear, we can speak with some sort of authority on smart-watch wearables. At first thought, it’s like all of those elementary school sci-fi role-playing games we loved have become reality. It’s true, having said tech gear/gadget bling strapped to your wrist really gives you that chic entry point into conversations with flirty baristas at Starbucks. But we soon learned that a honking wide chunk of lightweight metal with little functionality (besides that of embarrassing yourselves when having serious discussions with your boss and an SMS shines brightly for all to see, or while waving your hands in a kirtan circle) became cumbersome – our conversation piece turned into not much more than an overpriced, energy sucking, expensive pedometer.

We were hopeful that the Apple Watch would help step us into the future. After all, the Samsung Galaxy Gear watch was the first to leap out of the wearables gate, right?

It’s not like we’re even in the mind space of owning the Apple Watch Edition – the premium, 18k gold smart watch (retail price, HK$129,800), but the least expensive Apple Watch Sport – donning a mere fluoro-elastomer band (think: hard plastic), aluminum casing (over sturdier stainless steel), and “strengthened Ion-X glass” (what is that?) – costs HK$2728 for the smallest 38mm size. That’s a lot of Starbucks lattes, in our opinion, especially when we can get a plastic, aluminum watch at Japan Home Center for like HK$20. Yes, we know it’s not the same, but come on? It wouldn’t last a week at Pure Yoga hot classes.

Reason #2 why we won’t be buying the Apple Watch in Hong Kong: We’re sort of sure we won’t be able to learn how to use it

Truth: we never figured out how to really utilize the functions of our Samsung Galaxy Gear, and we read that we would have to use the Apple Watch’s Digital Crown to zoom in to enable commands via the smart watch Taptic Engine. In simple-speak, you can only tap and swipe the touchscreen to use it.

Reason #3 why we won’t buy the Apple Watch: Third party apps haven’t been proven to work well on the small resolution screens

Ok, yes, the Apple Watch apps go beyond just an expensive pedometer with Maps, Heart Rate monitor and more, but last March, Apple went on to demonstrate the Apple Watch functionality with apps from Starwood Hotels and others, which didn’t seem to go so well. Besides, the little screens – 38mm for the small version with a 272 x 340 resolution and 42mm for the larger version with a 312 x 390 resolution – make it really tough to use. What’s more, not all apps will be relevant in Hong Kong, so this point could be moot.

Reason #4 why we won’t be buying the Apple Watch in Hong Kong: Its first generation model may be obsolete in six months

Yes, it’s a pretty watch that can aesthetically please until the Auld Lang Syne of 2016, yet as you know the knockoffs market is rife with wannabes and posers that can easily be found on a day trip to Shenzhen or Guangzhou. Besides, Xiaomi has been rumoured to already have a competitive idea on the horizon, so we’re not jumping out of our seats just yet to get our hands on the Apple Watch.

Reason #5 why we won’t be buying the Apple Watch in Hong Kong: It’s on backorder for far too long

You’ve seen our concerns about the Apple Watch being obsolete right away, so even if we are lulled in by the siren song of its high-definition, Retina display and general new trendy-ness, it’s reported that wait times for new Apple Watch could be as long as June. We’re too lazy to make an appointment to wait in a queue just to try on this new eye-candy, and let’s face it: the Apple Watch might be available in June. We could’ve been to Shenzhen and back in half the time.

We think we’ll wait for the next gen Apple iWatch to absorb all of the teething issues before buying an Apple Watch in Hong Kong.

The Apple Watch is available for sale in Hong Kong, starting at HK$2728. Visit the Apple Hong Kong website to make an appointment to try one on.