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Author
Topic: something to kick around (Read 4491 times)

How about a post on movie story lines about HIV and what people here might like to see.

What has been already been done and what should be done. How about something hope full even though the stuff that has been done is not completely depressing. How about a compilation of what LTS might want to see?

If so moved I would like a chance to input what I might like to see.

Of course there might be someplace on here that already has mentioned this that I might have missed. Not with all these postings everything that could be written has been already done Or something I might have started a while ago that did not take.

A melodrama about a person who finds out they are HIV + and they become isolated living ( first spot to place ideas ) They become a social innovator trying to better everyone life ( second spot to place ideas ) while actually not having the chance to have a life of there own( ideas on what might happen here third spot ) . Until lets say a another person comes along and shows them there is still life to be lived( fourth spot ) . I know vague but I do not want to take control of this idea I just want to start the idea and see were it goes. If no one else post ideas I will just keep writting and writting and even if it never becomes a movie at least is is published were others can read it and maybe what I do now might help another person like me in the future. Maybe even help me to go back and read what I wrote and know it is placed were it can be read by others. (OK I am getting drifty and should post this before I loss my nerve and delete it again )

I feel it would be great to start something here that goes on to be the next big thing or at least something that might move people to think HIV is still bad but not an end all.

Em, since you are posting in the long-term survivors forum, are we to assume you yourself are a long-term survivor living with HIV? Why don't you first introduce yourself to us, give us a little background? I'm not trying to seem "snobby," but we get all kinds of people on here. I'm not saying your a scam-artist or anything, just wanting to get to know you first. Luv,Betty

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

write about myself sorry not about to fill four hundred pages with my life story. That well anyway anything I have to say there much more interesting things already posted.

just so any type os or off coments could start a stampede of critical remarks that have nothing to do with what I was trying to do.

I have been seeing an ID doc for around twenty years now does that make me a long term positive ?

well I wrote all this with the other AIDSMEDS forum before it moved to POZ.

What I had also wanted to say about movie ideas a Friend of mine had a script they were goin to do ten years ago or so. about an elderly man and his HIV+ grandson. The friend of mine had said he did not like the message they were trying to say in the story. It was a after school special type premise on AIDS. The young grandson had lines like what difference does it make how many bitches I infect with HIV ?? My friend said that type of youthfull anger was not something he wanted to portray about HIV. Then had sugested I submit something ? I had thought what could I say > So here I am trying to bounce ideas around to find out if anything might be worth trying.

sorry I could bore you with my own complaints and what not. like that quote "silence equals death" HIV has left me for dead for too long already and had thought maybe an idea would start to get me in the game again ? The idea I had thought was a story of hope for HIv and for those who think life is hopeless HIV+ or not. a story about living inspite of what could go wrong but overcoming.

maybe have some unknowns in a story or maybe Richard Gere Or Russell Crowe star as an HIV+ shut in and Jennifer Lopez or Hally Berri or something be a neighbor or well just a thought hope someone here has creative ideas maybe instead of just writting what we want to say we all could submit something to tell our story.

Rent was fine for the that time but this is now do we want south park to be the image of HIV left in everyones mind ??

I have been lurking here for the past three years without logging on. My family had done an intervention and after a brief stay in a psych word I thought maybe spending so much time trying to get a life online was not good for my mental health most important thing I would like to know ?

When I lodged on this morning there was a PM under my User name. The PM says it is from Harrison Ford ??

It has a list of people it was sent to and was from 2006 like I had said I had not posted in three years. did anyone respond and find out if it was the actor or someone who just used his name to get interesting correspondence? Or someone who just really likes his work. Ya I am untrusting too.

If it was him just my luck he might have been looking for interesting people to work on that just released Indiana movie I missed the boat on that one. Instead got to be locked up for not being nice enough to the people around me . Like most drunks will tell you they did not have a problem with alcohol everyone else around them did ?/ It is my fault. SO now I just wanted to try one more time to see what might be out there .

was going to try and maybe go back to work my T-cells are in the 800 range and my virus level has ben undetectable for the past six years. something about laying in the hospital and looking at my hand and not being able to move it and staring up from a bed for days not being able to move. kind of makes punching a clock for low wages not worth getting up for. even though my family and friends do not like the way I live or should I say the way I do not live ? that is my choice .

Not the first opportunity to get away from me.

sorry about so long winded so little information so much time I guess, Waite reverse that ?

sorry just a bit of rush goin on thinking wow I had Harrison Ford write me a PM I missed it got me real worked up. Even though I bet it was fake. I am worked up thinking maybe some way I can have life again even though that boat has sailed too. I apologize for being testy could not sleep for the life of me last night thinking what am I goin to do with the rest of my life. Can not spend forever like I am doing and o ya social workers and shrinks and therapy all they want to do is push drugs and tell me to be patient. while they get payed to tell me to be vegetable granted being a psych veg was great for a while it gets old fast and the only way to get better is not to listen to them being that I am writting something. Like I had I am a crotchety old recluse myself and anti social. \OK just deleted most of the stuff I had typed I wish you all well maybe lurking was in my best interest >>

EM

I am goin to put my responses up here through edit so I do not look like I am trying to push my way to the front of the line in the forum.

This idea was for everyone here to think of things in there lives that had happened like an old relative or friend that you may have had a falling out with coming around to help you when you were in need or even if you yourself even not having much had helped someone else ??

A place were we can share uplifting stories or even share horror stories . maybe someone out there looking for ideas about a scene in a movie might like what they see and use it. you might be watching a movie and something we wrote here ends up in it. Or like everything else something we write might be similar to something else who knows ?

I had a few thoughts on were a story might start. A women driving down a regular road in town called happy valley or Paradise a town on the edge of suburbia and rural US anywere anyplace. she has this concerned look on her face that turns to emotional out burst and sobbing. Just then a police car pulls up and asks the sobbing women what seems to be the problem. She says sorry officer nothing is wrong then starts crying all over again. She says sorry either ( my husband just died from AIDS or my husband just gave me AIDS or something > this is why I wanted help writting this I can make this story so sad but what I would like to do is make it hope full ? well maybe I should start of sad and turn it to happy flow >

She talks to the policeman who says Ya no one ever thought in a place like this AIDS would even have any effect at all My brother passed four years ago from AIDS . the police man says here is your choice I bring you in for fear of you being a danger to yourself or others cause you can not be driving around town crying like this or I take you to the hospital for a psych eval or third choice you follow me to the coffee shop and we sit in quite booth and have a heart to heart about people in our lives and the virus that has snuck into our perfect lives>.

we can all write stuff even if it is just a distraction day dream and never gets made into a TV show or movie it might be fun to think of how this virus as bad as it is might some how some way actually bring some people who other wise would have had nothing to do with each other closer together >

That is what I had wanted to try and post to get some of the frustration out of this thick head of mine and hopefully get some much needed sleep.

Maybe if it is not to much trouble I could write some more or if anyone else has a story they might like to add feel free.

Or maybe oxygen or the hallmark channel or some other feel good network reads some of the short stories we right and like them and we all get part time jobs writing that make us all enough money to have health insurance and neat stuff to buy and honest to goodness real lives . would that be something, worth while lives's ( another reach I guess )

I know psychotic delusion maybe I should just take more pills untill these sad hapless dreams go away and I can be more mean and heartless and not caring just like everyone else in this cold dark planet we live on ?

sorry just wanted to vent some frustration and hope fully get a life out of the deal ?

stupid me I Just did a search it was some sort of porn sending thing using Harrison Fords name> I was just all worked up thinking stuff written here actually gets out to the real world > my mistake now I will probably be locked up again and druged for saying psch drugs are robbing me of what little life I have left ?

I guess if it werent for bad luck I would have no luck at all and it is my falt my life is a mess and the drugs well they help me to keep my nothing life going no were wow that is so helpfull ?

sorry I think I had seen that PM and did a search three years ago only to find the thread on porno spam sent from that link ??

sorry how about a do over a second start. I should have started with long time reader ( lurker ) of aids meds and long time HIV+. sorry for my web page protocol mistake . I am having difficulty thinking of what to write.

I could write on and on and on about how stupid things in my life have gone.

One time I had an appointment with a mental health care social worker and had said I was having having money problems. The social worker had suggested I take the course they offer on budgeting. I had said nothing just got very angry inside. I should have said let me guess you went to college and had taken math 99a and 99b basic math. I have advanced mathematics degrees. I had hoped the social worker could help me make peace with myself I guess.

I could not sleep last night and read allot of stuff here.

I just got a new used computer my old one was taking about ten minutes to download a new page. while working in net work support I had gone to computer seminar and they had mentioned in passing that the cache higher memory of the computer burns out after about a year or so of use. This slows it down. Had a large number of users get upset when there computers started becoming slow after extended use.

Just had a long sleep. My life well it is what it is and that is that I guess.

EM

maybe trying to do multi task by doing two things at one time. Like having something to do in my life about HIV contributing parts of my positive life and well whatever ?

Did you see Russell Crowe in I think the movie was called " One great summer " or something were the story tell a whole life story. I had thought maybe bouncing something around here we might be able to find a story of hope even though we here have a virus to deal with ?

Sorry It may not go anywere but had thought and hoped a little day dream a pleasant distraction might worth while.

I am goin back to lurking maybe after another ten years will try again and maybe wirte a story looking back at how far we came and far we had to go or something ??/

Em, advanced math degrees, eh? Where were you when I was taking "college algebra?"

So, are you wanting to do like someone's life story who's living with AIDS? I apologize, I'm still not clear as to what exactly it is you're wanting to do. Oh, and I never did see that Russel Crowe movie, sorry.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

My ID doc had told me he was worried about shingles and shrush and my losing my vision. The high viral load and almost nill T-cell count. The other wonderous opportunistic infections that had been plaguing me. He had said most patients at this time of the infection loss there vision.

He had referred me to an eye doctor. Apon entering the doctors exam room he had on thick blue gloves to his elbow and face mask and face shield to examine my eyes.

Then fast foreword to a year later after being on an experimental study for PI ( protease inhibitors ). The same eye clinic different doctor. This one came out with no extra gear examined my eyes and then said how does it feel to be free from the grips of the AIDS virus ?

I could not say a word. I did not know what to say.

I guess it should have made me happy suffering all that time and getting a last minute reprieve. a commutation of sentence. A reduction of sentence.

Having had lost everything and watched my body fall apart and having every aspect of my existence crushed louited and robed only to be offered a small piece of it after the carniage was over >

I guess I should have been the hapiest joyfull eliated person on earth right ?

Well anyway hope fully in ten years I will be able to look back and this and say wow my life has really gone in such a better direction and hope and joy and a feeling of great accomplishment will fill my mind with such pleasant thoughts all this will look like another life lived by a long forgotten friend I used to be >

A melodrama about a person who finds out they are HIV + and they become isolated living ( first spot to place ideas ) They become a social innovator trying to better everyone life ( second spot to place ideas ) while actually not having the chance to have a life of there own( ideas on what might happen here third spot ) . Until lets say a another person comes along and shows them there is still life to be lived( fourth spot ) . I know vague but I do not want to take control of this idea I just want to start the idea and see were it goes. ..EM

I would bet you a half-used bottle of Norvir that it isn't all that uncommon among us LTSrs.

I think a movie such as you are suggesting would be a great idea - and a real eye opener for many of those more recently diagnosed.

There are movies about the no-meds era ("Longtime Companion," etc.) and movies about the post cocktail era ("Jeffrey, Trick, etc.,) but nothing about the period in between, or if there is, I haven't seen it.

It could start in the late 80s with the monotherapy years - AZT with a time schedule. People whine about taking meds twice a day. What would they do if they had to take it every four house around the clock, seven days a week, etc?

Then there are those who almost made it to the triple cocktail era, but missed it by a year or, in some cases, just a few months.

Some people seemed to change overnight. They went from fun-loving 20 or 30 somethings to old men, who stayed home, wouldn't go out and wouldn't talk about what was going on that had changed them so much.

Others started losing it. The man who finally talked me into seeing a doctor after seven years of ignoring my HIV status was one such person. The last time I saw him, he didn't recognize me and, in fact displayed fear and a lot of anxiety when I said hello.

Dementia is a cruel taskmaster.

I don't know if a melodrama would be the right genre for a film such as this, but it would certainly open some eyes.

Some Movies and TV shows that mention HIV. that I have seen and remember something about

Just some of them I do not think at the moment I can remember them all TV shows 21 jump street, st elsewhere, ER, CSI, CSI new york, will and grace ,law and order mentioned it alot and all its spin offs , Star trek enterprise (that one cause i am a scifi geek was about the vulcan first officer being infected from a mind meld you may say that is not about AIDS but at the original airing way back when just before the previews and the credits Scot Bacula ( the captain of the newest show )comes on and said something about for more information on AIDS and HIV contact something or other. cause as I was watching it I thought wow this is so much like living with HIV. I am sure there are many more I have seen. most recent, south park .I did go to New York in 2001 and saw rent on stage

Movies The band played on, Its my party ( Eric Roberts ), Jeffery,three needles, yesterday, Rent ( the play was better) quite few documentaries. It gets mention a few other films as a side line like this one were this guy living in AIDS hospice is hired to kill someone at the UN As the story unfolds a security guard had hired the guy to an ambassador when they guy was about shot the securityguard that had hired the assisin kills the assasin to take the heat off some wrong doing he was up to ?? , That one about a jury member who one attorney is trying to fix a trial and finds out a juror has HIV and threatens to tell his friends and family if he does not push the trial his way. I had seen some independent films that mention it but nothing that stands out as wow you should not miss this one material ?? latest film girl positive o ya eyes wide shut mentions AIDS. and lets not forget philadelphia, and the rain maker was about luekemia I was told originally it was about aids but they changed it for the movie because bone marrow transplants are very expensive and time consuming who wants to spend six months in a sterile environment taking cemo to have there bone marrow removed by cemo to then have it replaced and then have to take anti rejection medication for the other persons genetic material bone marrow growing in you along with anti viral meds maybe then not even see a change in infection ? the movie was probable changed cause well like me they might air on the side of caution ( like me they were affraid, face it just tring to kid ) they could have mentioned the rest of the info anti rejection drugs cemo for the bone marrow that it is not a easy procedure to endure and not cheap either >

so it looks hiv and aids has also infected as well as effected the movies and television in our entertainment industries has not ignored the problem just not beenable to do anything to make it livable I guess ??

but our social structure as a whole has been also sickened by the illness has any parent in the last twenty years told there young adult child to be care full and not get aids maybe not in those words twenty years of the viral infections knowledge ?

So it looks like this has already been done and I should just clime back under my rock.

twenty years ago or so now I had been working two jobs a parking lot attendant during the day and buss boy dishwasher in the evenings. my income was just slightly above ridiculously low. I had my mother not working living with me my brother in high school a nother brother in college always wanting money a friend living with me who had outstanding student loans and back credit card dept to pay. my rent was 650 and groceries I bought to feed this hoard of people all in want. I had just gotten my honerable discharge from the service and had been given two military physicals saying I was in great shape and good to go. I had donated blood thinking maybe if I help others in some cosmic karma thing others might eventually help me ? the blood donation came back positive for HIV and I had earlier put in for low income housing but they said my income was not high enough to be considered poor ? there rent for low income was 450 my rent was 650 ? groceries of about 500 a month for the people eating at my table. After finding out I was HIV+ I donate the two hundred dollars in my bank account total balance to AMFAR AIDS research Vaccine something or other >

As you can see I am a cold heartless not caring person who only thinks of himself and never others. I am one of those people who is only happy when I have something to complain about. I am MR Negativity and have so much to be Happy for ( at least that was the last thing said about me to me at my family intervention by the people mentioned above ) I stupidly just smiled and said I am sorry I will try harder in the future > then let them confine me in psych word. ( you would think right now then I should be the most ecstatically euphoric person on gods green earth ?

proof how wonderfull life in this country can be in the land of plenty land of milk and honey this land of opportunity.

I am sure as bad as that was there are far more worse horror stories out there. dramatick license and exaggeration for affect may have been taken into the costruction of above story >

Sorry it is getting late for me and have busy life to lead

Sorry the list of good things in my life would actually be ten fold longer and ten times better then that last story but that would come across as bragging no one here seems to want good things mentioned cause that would make them think why has that not happend to me and I am not even HIV + <

well I can tell you they have happened to me and I well those thoughts are what I hope to dream about tonight

Good Night and god bless

EM

Well it has been a day later I thought maybe adding some real life story to this might make it more appealing.

I had gone back to the university that I had graduated from in the nineties to try and find out if per chance I could some how get my life back in gear..

I had spent a few years Ill from the virus and not working. Now that I had T-cells again and a no viral load I could find rewarding work and money in my pocket to dream off having a job again?

I thought O ya while studding there was this person I used to do home work with who I had found out had an MBA ( masters of Business administration ) and I had thought had most likely gone corporate and is probably making a good living and might be able to say a few nice words for me and get me in the door for a corporate job making a nice living.

The home work we used to do together was computer programing. late one night this person came over to me aggravated and and at wits end and ready to just explode with frustration over some code that just would not work.

SO I had gone over to the universities alumni office to ask if there was anyway I could leave my Email address or per chance they might forword my email address to this person with a message saying hello how are you doin drop me an Email?

I then had said the university had mentioned the importance of keeping in touch with classmates and networking after graduation to better our chances of having more fulfilling carears. I had said I wanted to know if there was anyway they could send a an email to this person with my email address wanting to find out how they were doing and if they could help me get a life ?? Long shot I know but the only thing I could think of to get my self out of the voluntary isolation I had put myself into while struggling with the virus. this guy at the addmin office came over told me to sit down at his desk while he got on the phone ( to call security I later found out ) then talked to me about why I was there He hadsaid The university was not a dating service and that I was trespassing . security came over and told me that I should leave and never come back and if I ever did come back they would fine me ten thousand dollars for inconveniencing them.

Higher learning < should be called give us all the money we can take from you then get lost .

The university had a showing of film on HIV and I could not attend did not want to be fined ten thousand dollars for trespassing like I have that kind of money anyway should have gone to the film just to see how deep and far reaching there intent to crush any hope I had left might have been ? It cost you how much to go out to the movies 10,000 $ wow I thought things were expensive were I live ?

I am writting this cause this is how HIV as effected ( one might say spilled over an not only infected my body but also infected my life my work and distroyed every hope and dream I might have had the chance of realizing ( caused a sickness in every other aspect of my existence ) my life

EM

Well like the say do not judge a book by its cover ? But how about this for a cover picture ?

a slash goin diagonal across a picture top one says inside and shows a person in hospital bed laying motionless and lifeless the other side says inside there is a tormented face attached to a disfigured body pulling at chains tying them down.

I do not know if this would be good for a story on AIDS or a the other story I been working on ?

any ideas ? How about the name for this story calling it TORMENT what sickness does to the patient and the society and in therefore effects the world for better or worse.

I guess I wrote to much my spell checker just broke ?

well anyway is there anything that might be of help or worth or am I just ?

It is a pleasure for one to serve. A line taken from a movie "Bicentennial Man" with Robin Williams

thank you good night and god bless

EM

there was a book some one I had met 25 years ago had told me about the ballad of tyhoid marie it does not mention AIDS or HIV directly ; the feeling of it well ? decide for yourself

I have to see if there is any chance as I heard say all the time around here " get a life "

That is phrase used way to often in the US

BUt with me it fits I am in dire need of a life

so next time you might here someone say "get a life " and some one else not in the conversation yells out " I am trying beleive me " , or a complete stranger jumps into the conversation with "o do you know anyplace one could get this so called life I here everyone yelling about might be found " ? that might be me.

Please pardon the late addition, I can no longer edit the stuff I had already submitted

Two more movie I recall Gia and Angels in America and I remember soap operas mentioning HIV

I ques my style of writting and the way I have lived my life can be comparable to this short story.

A farmer who after years of scaring off birds suddenly has a change of heart and builds a small field just for the birds with all things he feels birds might like. He is so happy for the chance to try and make up for years of trying to keep the birds away.

He notices there are no birds using this field. So he has what he thinks is a great idea I will stand in the middle of the field and hold my arms out to show the birds they are welcome here and they will all fly in and enjoy my gift to them and except my apology. The birds never come because they think he is a scarecrow >

Outstanding (like a farmer in his field )

I had an idea for HIV testing

a picture of an infant with the caption saying think it is difficult to discuss HIV and AIDS with family and friends and intimate relations . Try convincing yourself it was not your fault and knowing medication could eliminate almost any chance of transmition while staring into an infants eyes you are holding. A few years back the picture of a women with a child due. That one simply said do the right thing get tested.

sorry nothing new in this posting just rehashing old thoughts to try and make a peacefull ending.thank you