Journaling

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Pulling at straws

I called the child support bureau today to find out if there was any hope of receiving a payment anytime soon. Of course the answer was no, Kylie's dad is no longer working at whatever job he had and they have been looking for new employment for him but haven't found anything. It will be months before anything comes of it.

I have to skip pills now because I only have a couple left, when I hung up the phone the memory of things that happened years ago brought me to tears. When I was caring Kylie it was a constant roller coaster with Dave, he'd leave, on Christmas Day of course while I was pregnant and when I say leave that meant he left me and disappeared for months.

I started getting sick with my pregnancy, I ended up with Toxemia, I moved in with my parents because I was still working full time downtown Cleveland. Right after Kylie was born I needed time alone and I went down and stayed in a house Dave owned at the time but didn't use. Two weeks after Kylie was born he had his attorney send me a letter notifying me that he would evict me and the baby.

We were fifty miles from a hospital, Dave disconnected the phone at the house too. I had Kylie's clothes in a cardboard box and a changing table and a little carrier for her and that was it. I had a C-section so I needed some time to heal. Once I was able to drive I found an apartment and moved into it. As soon as I moved Dave hounded us there with threats.

It is crazy to think of all these things but things are bad right now but remembering this stuff reminds of worse times, I really don't know how I survived some things I went through.

Child support has always been an issue with Dave, he hates it, he ran up attorney bills for years fighting over $360 a month and one day I said to him, what do you want to pay and he said $250 and that was that. He stopped his continual harassment. He could afford a lot more and people have said it's Kylie's money but she would have paid for every penny with the abuse she would have had to suffer, it wasn't worth it.

Dad's not all but a great many have an issue with child support like the ex-wives are trying to be greedy. Any money paid most assuredly goes towards the things a child needs, it isn't easy to raise a child alone, mother's don't refuse their children food or care because they don't have the money or don't get child support, it isn't an option not to pay when you are the custodial parent.

I wish with all my heart that I never needed any support, that I could give Kylie all that she needs without giving it a thought or asking for help. Most of the time I managed this but this is not one of them.