Queen of the Distracted

Imagine life in a house with 6 kids - now imagine if 5 of those kids and their father have ADD/ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) - that is our house! Welcome to an inside view of my life and our home dominated by ADHD... THERE IS NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls!"

Those were our oldest daughter Rachel's first words, from the time she was a toddler she would belt them out proudly standing on the arm of the couch. At the time we had no idea what ADHD was or that it would play such a central roll in our lives.

Since then we have learned a lot, not the least of which is how many individuals and families suffer in silence. We have experienced first hand how misunderstood and misrepresented a disorder can be.

As a family we decided to take action - to risk embarrassment and labeling to get this important message out to the world. Come join our family, share in our lives, and see ADD/ADHD as we see it...A gift with a heavy price tag.

WELCOME to life in the ADD/ADHD House!

Monday, February 25, 2013

I may be selfish but stories like these strike fear into my heart. I have a large family of ADHDers, my husband and 6 of my 7 children. All of them except one take medication for their ADHD, 2 of which are on Adderall products. Those two are by far have the most severe ADHD in our house and have been the hardest to find the right balance of medication for. Adderall XR has been a godsend for them, for relief from symptoms, for their success in every aspect of their lives, not just educationally. My fear for them is that abuse and negative press will put at risk the availability of a needed treatment.

My heart goes out to the families whose children are suffering from any sort of addiction. If anyone understands fighting for your children, for their needs, for understanding, for help I would say the ADHD community of parents does. We engage the court of public opinion, school systems, health care professionals (not all of which understand or accept ADHD) and often well meaning but uneducated family members as we push for help, treatment, acceptance, education, understanding, reform.

I worry that those that don't struggle with this disorder daily don't realize what a tenuous walk on the tightrope it is. The court of public opinion is always anxious to negate ADHD as a made up disorder, as bad parenting. There are always discussions about the risks of medication that seem to circle not around facts or case studies but around fear mongering and shock value. This debate, these sensationalized arguments negate the real struggles of people with real ADHD and the value of real treatment in their lives.They sit on either end of the tightrope and shake the wire we are trying so hard to successfully navigate. I felt like Dr. Oz was shaking my rope today as I watched the clips from his show, seeing clearly his concerns about Adderall addiction but not really seeing him make a distinction between those who need and appropriately use the medication and those that abuse it. My question to him is this: is he willing to do a special on glaucoma where he addresses those who abuse glaucoma medicine in the same manner and title it A Case Against Glaucoma Medicine? Or insulin or any other medication that can and is abused but has real and necessary applications for those who need it, properly use it, and don't abuse it. I really feel he did a disservice to those who have ADHD and need treatment by fueling the fire. What about the child who is now not properly medicated because their parents watched that Dr. Oz piece and fear medication is going to turn their child into an addict? What about when that child turns to self medication and ends up committing suicide because they struggle with depression related to ADHD, because they feel ineffective in their life, because they live in a whirlpool of failure, because despite their efforts they don't finish, can't focus, drop out of school,or end up in prison, because they were not under the care of a doctor, getting the help they need, using medication wisely. While there is no doubt that this is an issue that needs to be addressed the manner in which we address it is critical.

I certainly don't want to be guilty of diminishing the experience of those parents of children suffering from an addiction to a medication they don't need and shouldn't have access too. At the same time I feel protective of a treatment that I have seen work wonderfully when needed, properly accessed, and monitored by our psychiatrist. It brings out the mother bear, I want to protect and defend the experience of my family members. It makes me want to sit these young people (and adults) down and do a little parenting myself. I want them to understand the risk they are taking not only with their own life but also with the lives of others, those who need the treatment and don't abuse it but run the risk of losing it to a panicked public and reactive uneducated law makers.

Having said that - I agree with the solutions that were
put forth on this by Dr Kenny Handleman and the couple addressed by Dr
oz and Dr. Hallowell. I think they indicate the problem areas rather
effectively. Dr. Handleman certainly deals with the issue in a
considerably more effective, less inflammatory way. Truth is there is no way
to completely eliminate abuse of any substance. Those that want to sell
it and those that want to abuse it will always find a way, but we can
make it more difficult. There is no doubt that this is an issue that
needs to be addressed - the answer is not to stop medicating those that
need it or to make medication out to be the bad guy (creating fear in
those facing the decision whether or not to medicate). The issue that
needs to be addressed is how to stop the flow into the hands of those
that don't need it and would abuse it. A clear distinction needs to be
made. Sensationalism will never solve any problem and in its wake will
certainly create as many problems as it attempts to solve. Let's remove
the fire from the discussion, approach it in an open and honest manner
and actually make strides towards real solutions.

Thank You Psych Central and ADHD from A to Zoe

Thank you so much to Pysch Central for hosting our Mother's Day webinar and to Zoe Kessler from ADHD from A to Zoe for inviting me to talk with her about parenting ADHD kids. I had a wonderful time! I am excited to offer those who didn't get a chance to join us the chance to listen to the recording by following this link

Quote of the Day

"I love the jaws of life, you can cut through the hinges of a car door easily. I want to get some and keep them in my trunk, just in case!" --says the boy who says he has 'safety issues'

"A post hole digger?" said to Hunter as he rolled by on roller blades towards the side yard...he was trying to dig a fire pit and couldn't find the shovel.

"There's a snake in a boot on the freckle in the hole at the bottom of the sea!"

"Trust me, Mary, I am the King of unrealistic plans and if I say it can't be done, it can't be done!"-Mark, my husband and truly the King of Unrealistic Plans

"I am tempted to dance, BUT I won't"- Hunter (while working on school)

"You tell me NOT to do it but that makes me want to do it MORE. Now I HAVE to do it!"-Rachel (regarding licking the laptop screen)

"Processing thought - please hold and enjoy the music while your party is being reached."- Mariah (when she lost her train of thought -- don't know how she will find it while she is humming elevator music)

"SAFETY: Not an Option"(huge sign on the gates of a cement company...I think it belongs on my gate...do you think that they meant Safety: not optionAL)

"His middle name is "danger"? Man, I wish my middle name was Danger!"- Jaren

"You're making the left side on my brain hurt." -Rachel

You Might be ADHD if......

You might be ADHD if when you clean out your pumpkin on Halloween you think, "This is a big pumpkin! I wonder if I can fit it on my head?" and then TRY!

You might be ADHD if you try to hypnotize yourself with a set of ear buds by swinging them back and forth, back and forth in front of your nose. (Hunter)

You might be ADHD if in the middle of breakfast you run away from the table screaming, "Wait a minute while I get my plasma gun!" (Hunter)

You might be ADHD if you plan to have a huge statue of a garden gnome made with the eyes carved out so you can sit in it and watch people. (Rachel)

You might be ADHD if you think, "what did you do this weekend?" is a private and personal question. (Mariah)

You might be ADHD if you bring out the lawn chair, a glass of ice water and binoculars to stare at the sheriff who is clearly doing paperwork in your cul de sac, occasionally waiving. (Mariah)

You might be ADHD if you think fairy wings and a wand are good accessories to any outfit - and you are 17. (Rachel)

You might be ADHD if you want to hire a gospel choir to follow you around and sing highlights of everything you say.(Rachel)

You might be ADHD if when you find out the lamp is on/off touch sensitive you HAVE to touch it, then touch it with your elbow, then your forehead....then YOUR TONGUE.(Hunter)

My husband says I have a hard time committing to anything. I think it is a learned behavior. Like a lab rat that gets zinged by pressing t...

Box? What Box? Where?

"Are cannibals omnivores?"

"Hey, I came up with a new bathroom game! ...whhhhp... You throw the suction cup frogs...whhhhp... at the mirror to see if they will stick...whhhhp...I call it Tactical Froggy...whhhhp..." (Jaren 9 yrs old)"If you swallow gum will you blow bubble farts?" asked with a sincere desire to know...disturbing.(Hunter 11 yrs old)Jaren's (9 yrs. old) 2009 Christmas Wish List

Mini cactus from ThinkGeekHolographic keyboardWind tunnel to do tricks inCrash mat for when he can't use the wind tunnelPocket watches for his collectionLaser pointer with a clock on itA portable lie detectorand a bag of chips so he can say, "I'm all that and a bag of chips"

THE VOICE OF REASON

"I think I possibly might be considering going to regular HS." - Hannah throwing all caution to the wind

"Can we drop her off in a field...with a rod...and hope for a lightening storm?"

(directed to Mariah who had been pestering Hannah about eating more iron rich foods)

-----"Sometimes I wonder then I remember I don't want to know!"-----

"6160- the NEW 5150"

(6160 is our street address and for those that don't know 5150 is the legal code for INVOLUNTARY PSYCHIATRIC HOLD!)

-Hannah's NON-ADHD comments

OH YES... SHE DID JUST SAY THAT!

"I know its none of my business, that's why I have to be a part of it! If it was my business I wouldn't care. Everybody else's business is so much more interesting"

"You don't have to worry about having bad friends if you don't have any friends. HA! I win!"

"You keep interrupting my threats! You never let me get to the crocodile or the dental floss!"

Mariah: Did you know that if you say dolphin fast enough it sounds like gullible?Younger brothers: Doooooooolllllph.....hey.....Mariah!-----Rachel: Mariah get up and help you are just sitting there!

Mariah: I am NOT just sitting here - I am SENDINGPOSITIVE THOUGHTS!-----"I have a weakness, I feel it is my personal responsibility to let people know when they are idiots. After all, what if they go their whole life thinking they are intelligent and no one tells them they are not."- Mariah - said at church in front of visiting authorities

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About Me

Who knew? Though I planned on having a big family I certainly didn't plan on most of the members of the family having ADHD. I didn't even know what ADHD was back then but here we are and I can honestly say I would not change a thing even if I could.