Need Help Please!!
Girlfriend troubles

Hi all, I have a girlfriend who I have been with 5 years. She is my onlygirlfriend I have had, before I was very reluctant to get involved in a relationship,emotions like this became locked up and were never an option to me because ofexperiences through the loss of close family members. However I met my currentgf and she seemed really nice and kind to me, something that was new to me andthe day came when she asked me out. This was new to me and the emotions i'dlocked away started coming out, when I said yh all them emotions had beenunlocked and I became very attatched.

As time went alongI started realizing not everything was as it seemed. There have been so manythings that have gone on I have learn't to just accept them and I forget themost of them. But now everything has to be her way all the time, and everythingseems to be my responisbility. For example we don't live together but if Idon't put her washing on it becomes my fault and she gets in a huff with mesnaps at me all night etc. Or if I can't meet her at X time she will get a huffand with me and snap all night at me and push me away etc. I treat her a lot,but if she say she wants a take away I have to get it that night and pay for itand if I say I can't afford it etc she goes really mad at me, this also thesame with going to restraunts etc. I have to spend all my free time with hertending to her needs, otherwise she goes crazy with me.

Two friends of mineone male and one female have said to me thats it's very unfair(I didn’t askthey approached me). I'm also a bit of a sucker, because I save a lot while shespends every penny she has. Then when it comes to her bills for her place etcetc she cn't afford so I fork out money to pay it for her, and she promise meshe will pay it back. Its not just for bills its for many other things too.This has now gone on for years and she still hasn't paid me back. I now no Iwill never get it back, and we're talking easy over a grand now. Another thingis I have to buy her presents when she wants one, I'm not allowed to buy hertreats when I can afford and want to it has to be whenever she demands.

I really try hardto always please her but she only ever wants more and more. Not that she hascheated on me once, it was only a kiss(I think) but still its the principle,this hurt me but I just accepted it. The most of the time we're together she'sarguing with me to get everything her own way, and i'm really not happy.I’ve tried taking she says sorry and just acts the same the very next day timeand time again.

But here's theproblem, I just don't no why but I can't break up with her, there justsomething that stops me because I became so attached.

To add to this Ihave met another lady through a social network site, we really get on and sheseems to really like me and has said I'm handsome, sweet and lovely etc. I andI think she want to take things further. Now I cannot cheat I would never dothat, but I really do like this other person too she seems perfect and hassimilar tastes and style in most things unlike my current gf. So I really don'tno what to do at all and need help!!! When I say met we’re not dating orout we’re just friends talking at the moment, online.

And it's reallyhard for me too because the other lady doesn't no I have a gf at the moment,and I don't want to scare her away by saying I do, and I'm scared even if I sayI do but please give me a bit of time attempt to find the courage and end itwith my gf, while we get to now each other as close friends etc, she may stillrun a mile.

Very worried aboutscaring off the other lady!?!?!? How do I approach her let her no withoutscaring her off so we can take things further in the future rather than justbeen friends???

Here's what I said on your other thread... And yeah, break up with your girlfriend. No easy way, just tell her exactly how you feel and don't compromise. The situation is unacceptable as it is, and I'd say it cannot be mended.

---------------------------------

Dan,

I believe you're falling into all this because you're one of those nice guys who can't seem to know when to draw the line in terms of pleasing others... Your girlfriend in this case, and the lady online to some extent.

I echo Alien's opinion of you being a coward, not because you're lying to your girlfriend and the online lady... You're close to cheating, but haven't yet, so you're still safe. You're still a coward because you're lying to yourself dear. You obviously realize that you're in a bad relationship where you're being taken advantage of and I'd say somewhat abused.

If you don't think you have it in you to break up with your girlfriend, seek the comfort of friends and ask them to help you. You see, I've been married, and I remember I bugged my ex because he always seemed to forget to get the garbage out. Now, this I did because there was a certain division of the home chores, and I have always been one to happily do the dishes, do the laundry and cook the big meals, in exchange for having my coffee done in the morning and smaller meals during the week.

Now, I'm not sure exactly how things are in your relationship, but you need to assess them correctly with the help of a friend or a trusted person. Read this very carefully, and understand that in your current situation, you have to gather the courage to be more authentic when it comes to your needs.