For some reason when I was on the interstate I started daydreaming that Sasha Grey was giving me a BJ. I was getting a raging boner so I was like fuck it....cuffing the carrot in one hand, holding the steering wheel the other..80+ in a 65 1-95. Easily the most badass thing I've ever did.

There was some story down here involving a lonely truck driver who "allegedly" watched porn to stay awake. Needless to say he lost control and caused a ruckus. Story would be funny if he didn't crush a mini-van and it's passengers.

Balls, i don't wanna sound gay or nothin, but you remind me of me and i like unicorns. when i return to the states, let's get douchey at the gym, work on the glamour muscles, drink heavily, then pick up some women in downtown orlando using our biceps as flirtation devices, all the while listening to Manowar