There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going! / There's no knowing where we're rowing, / Or which way they river's flowing! / Is it raining? Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Bah! Not a speck of light is showing, / So the danger must be growing, / Are the fires of hell a-blowing? / Is the grizzly reaper mowing? / Yes! The danger must be growing, / For the rowers keep on rowing, / And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing...

Parenting fail...
When I was a child and had to be forced into visiting the supermarket with one of my parents (immensely boring for any child) I always used to go and read the comics on the magazine stand and await my parents to pick me up at the end. This one time my father took me shopping on his own and I did my usual "I'm off to read the comics". I'd read the whole of the Beano, The Dandy and a few others before my father appeared and without mentioning a word just said "come on now, we're going home". It was only when we got home that it turned out that my father had already been home and had been promptly asked by my mother "Where's the boy?" followed by "Oh shit!" He'd forgotten he'd taken me shopping with him.
(Sat 12th May 2012, 19:51, More)

Owls
I remember coming into work one morning and opening a door to a room only to find an owl flying towards me. Basically it was a room with a inner door, going into another room with an outer door to outside that stays open. Someone had already opened these doors as they had come into work early without my knowledge. The first door was an automatic door, so I walk towards the first automatic door with the intention of opening it, only to find it open automatically followed by something large flying towards me, I ducked as quick as I could as it flew about an inch over the top of my head!

Took about an hour to eventually catch the owl with a rather large fishing net.
(Wed 25th Aug 2010, 1:40, More)