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“Your Dad has Done Nothing Wrong” – The Polygynous Father

I am polygamous, so what?

I just did not give any heed to whatever people said or did, including my own first wife. It was my life and of course, my destiny.

Years ago, when I wanted to marry my second wife, I asked our Imam in Aberdeen for his advice. He told me a phrase that still remains in my heart today, he told me: “you have to know that if you are going to marry another one, then this is a halal of Allah, this is a Sunnah, and you are certainly not doing anything wrong”.
It is true, this is a halal of Allah, I do not see why are people trying to make it a crime today if one wants to marry another woman. It is abnormal to see all this animosity towards a man trying to take another one, making it like it was so unfair to his first wife etc, just as if the first wife had a veto to decide on the future of her husband. (Source: Thankful Slave)

Here is an example of the typical, self-righteous, abusive muslim husband and father. His sexual lust, his desires and his appetite are the only things that matter and his wife and children will pay the price. Islam and imams claim that god is on his side. This man’s triumph in being allowed by his god and his religion to satiate his base sexual and sadist lust seeps through every word he writes, his satisfaction in watching his first wife and his children having to submit to his sexual and mental assault equals him to a modern Fagin. This man glories in the fact that his religion allows it.

I would very much like to know if this man is prepared to eat the dish he so willingly is serving, if he would be able to cope with having done unto him what he has done unto others, if he would be able to love for his brother what he loves for himself?

“Your husband of today is the same one of yesterday, and the same one of tomorrow”

These are the words I told my first wife when I married my second one. I also took my children and told them in these words: “Listen, you dad has done nothing wrong, your dad of today, is the same one of yesterday and will be the same one tomorrow. Nothing has changed in us, it is just that dad has now another wife”.

Of course, there has been initial storms at home, but let me highlight it again to any reader here: I just did not give any heed to whatever people said or did, including my own first wife. As of women who then threaten to divorce if the husband takes another one, then let it be. I have always told my first wife during the early stages of my Polygamy life that between a halal of Allah and you, who do you think I will chose? Let us be us, let just be who we are, just Muslim men and women, husband and wife, let us respect each others, and not keep blames and disputes for a halal of Allah.(Ibid.)

The image of this disgusting man with children on his lap, just come from fucking e.g. a teenage girl, or a 9 year old child, while breaking his first wife’s heart, telling his children he has done nothing wrong, that dad is allowed to fuck other women and destroy the lives of his wife and children, makes any sane person vomit. The violent misogyny, the hatred against any woman who would try to claim any form of right, is sickening. And this man, although a criminal, is allowed to live a free man, being around children, and has obviously also lived in the UK.

-Nothing has changed, dad has done nothing wrong. I have given up at least half my life with you, I have broken your mother’s heart, she might kill herself, I will never be there for you when you need me if I’d rather be off banging my other wife, or fucking nr 3 or nr 4, but I have done nothing wrong ’cause daddy’s allowed, and if your mother says I have she’s going to hell.

Over and over again he tells us how he spits at justice and UK law:

“(Polygyny) is not a crime and has never been one either.”

Why do people object to polygyny? To men marrying second, third or fourth wives against their first wife’s wishes, sometimes without telling her about it until afterwards?

Thankful Slave (slave to his own sexual sadism, I have found nothing else guiding him…) tells us it is because of the ungratefulness of wives!

The people say, “O Allah’s Apostle! We saw you taking something from your place and then we saw you retreating.” The Prophet replied, “I saw Paradise and stretched my hands towards a bunch (of its fruits) and had I taken it, you would have eaten from it as long as the world remains. I also saw the hell-fire and I had never seen such a horrible sight. I saw that most of the inhabitants were women.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! Why is it so?” The Prophet replied, “Because of their ungratefulness.” It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allah. The Prophet said, “They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. If you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, ‘I have never had any good from you.’ ” (Sahih Bukhari, Book #18, Hadith #161)

Reading some of the blogs on internet, it is interesting (and sad) to note that some of the sisters are falling in the trap, and can only enumerate a full list of negative characters of their husbands, just like these persons never did any good to them (note the word “never”).
This is particularly true if such sister saw her husband marrying another woman

So the woman who has her life destroyed, who is abused, mentally raped, raped every time she has to open her legs and let her abusive husband invade her body carrying the traces of fluids from his last fuck with another woman on him, the wife who is continually violated by her husband, is the one going to hell.

Thus this muslim man shows us the true face of muslim misogyny, the real face of evil.

Islam, has given rights to Both genders in religion, however many do ignore it for their own desires. I do suggest reading the books on Islamic marriage and women rights on my blog and discuss. Thanks.

The worst thing is very much how these fathers abandon their children and force their children to grow up with a hurting crying mother. It is giving scars for life. Like this man to see it only about HIS life and HIS destiny is frightening. This is the worst kind of abuse. Selfishness is one of the worst evils and to do it against wife and children like this will probably cost him when he meets with Allah. Polygyny was allowed only under strict conditions to save orphans and widows from war. This man is committing a terrible sin and every tear from his wife and children will cost him an eternity in Jahannam.

I must say that this is not sunnah. Polygyny against the will of wife is not sunnah. Would the Prophet have acted like this? It is a shame that men pretend to be believers only to live their own wicked ways. This is not the way of a believer. This is sinful. No man is allowed to force his wife to accept a second wife. Force is not allowed in islam. If a first wife is hurt or harmed by husband to get a second wife, it is not allowed since this would be an injustice, and that is haram. What this man did was haram not sunnah. I am sad to see people believe this is islam. Please see this as one man who did a sin, not a muslim living islam.

Hello Nihan and Hakim, and welcome! I agree with you that there are good muslim men too of course. The problem is though that islam grants men all these rights over women, that bad tendencies in men are multiplied by islam since men are allowed to rape, beat, imprison and abuse women, forcing them to share husbands against there will et.c. while telling women that they will end up in hell if they don’t obey and submit. This is what makes islam a misogynist and abusive religion.

The polygamous fathers can never atone for the crime they committ against their children. I will never forgive my father. My mother was always attacked by his second and third wife who hated her for being first and for not excepting that my father married them. She was sick always and crying and every time my father left she would cry and cry and then the other wives talked bad about her with other people and said she was a bad sister and that she wanted them to divorce and people pointed at mother. My father hit her some times and said she must be a better wife and not cry. I hid with my sisters and my father would say that if we take side with our mother the angels would curse us because she made him angry. My father is much respected by the community and they say he is so good husband. I hate him. My sister hates him. All my friends who have polygamous fathers hate them or go on with lives by not loving or caring about there fathers. Polygymy is the worst thing for families and only gives to men who wnats to have many women and not care for children or families. To read this is like hearing my father. His children will learn to hate him when they understand or maybe they already do.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I longed for my father, asked my mother why he wasn’t with us. She would say Dad loves his other wife and children too and must be with them because they love him too. I can’t tell you how many birthdays I spent without him, how many Eids he would send us an e-mail and we would go to the feast without him and other families would say how sorry they were for us and my friends would hug their dads and look at me with pity. I can’t tell you how many times I was ill and begged for my father and he wasnt there. I can’t tell you how it felt to graduate and my father was not there but with his other family. When my first child was born my dad was not there. I have stopped crying for my father. He chose this.

@Nushka and Daniil Thank you for posting and welcome. I have been getting a lot of posts from children to polygynous fathers. All of them, every single one, have told stories of abandonment, pain, loss and hate. Some of them you can read here on the blog, many of them have been sent with a request not to publish. Many write asking how their fathers could chose to give up on their lives – half of it or three quarters of it, and still claim to love them, and demand to be loved back. Most write about how much they did love their fathers, and how day by day their fathers killed this love. One girl wrote about how her father was so great, always played with them, he was always there, if she or her brothers were ill their dad would come running even if he was with his other family. It didn’t help. When she grew up and understood what her dad had done to her mother, when she dared ask her mother how she had felt and the mother simply broke down and cried and wailed in a great panic attack caused by twenty years of hidden pain, the love turned into hate. These men give up on their children. Some of them know it and don’t care, some of them believe they can keep the love of their children and will brutally wake up to reality sooner or later. Your hurt is sadly shared by millions.

Youre consequently cool! I dont imagine Ive read anything similar to this before. Consequently nice to get somebody with some original thoughts on this issue. realy thank you for starting this way up. this website is one area that is needed on the web, someone with some originality. useful job for bringing something new to the internet!

I will never forget when my father told us all to sit down in the big room because he had something to tell us. I could tell it was bad because my mother was standing in the door to the kitchen and she looked like a ghost with face all white and blue lips and she kept staring at the opposite wall. But my father looked very happy and proud and serious. And he told us to be happy because we would have a bigger family because he had married again and we should call her tia because she now was our mother’s co-wife. He said we should respect and obey her, because our father loves her. We all looked at our mother but she kept staring at the wall and chewing her lips. My father said that we must understand that he had done nothing wrong, that it is permitted and that our mother knew this was so. He looked at my mother then and she nodded but didn’t look back. She never cried but I could se her shoulders were shaking. He said we should be happy that our new tia could have a good husband and that we should not be envious or angry because then we would be selfish. The way he looked when he was talking about us that we should be careful not to be selfish I will never forget. We should not be selfish.

Assalamu ‘Alaikum This is so bad to read my sister Na’uzhu-bi-Allah I know what hurt this must have been for you and also for your mother. Men should not believe polygamy is for them, polygamy is only when needs to protect women. Your father did wrong and we must only hope Allah forgives Rahimahullah