Squicquero: Build resilience to deal with life's challenges

Jan. 14, 2014

Have you ever wondered why some people bounce back from the difficulties of life much quicker than others? It is because of resilience. Resilience is the process by which people adapt to changes or crises.

Some life crises examples are the loss of a job, financial problems, divorce, illness or death. In some cases, the crisis or change that rocks your world might be insignificant to others but significant to you, such as a job change or a redefining event in your life.

This is Gail’s story: Gail was referred to her counselor’s office by her supervisor because of reports of a “bad attitude” at work. When asked why she was there, Gail said, “My workplace and my responsibilities in my job were changed a few months ago. I hate the job I have now, and I would love to quit but can’t! I know I am overreacting! I just feel upset!”

Gail reported no drug or alcohol use past or present and did not report a history of depression or mental illness. She had some difficulty going to sleep at night, but she slept soundly until morning. Her weight was constant and her appetite was good, and she had no suicidal thoughts. In the evenings, she felt episodes of depression and tearfulness for which she felt guilty. She felt like a failure. Her employer had approved family leave for six weeks.

Gail’s reaction and adaptation to stress was consistent with a diagnosis of adjustment disorder. Gail’s symptoms developed shortly after she was notified by her employer of her job change.

Risk factors relate to mental resilience and outcomes. Risk factors such as poverty and low socio-economic status contribute to a lack of mental resilience but are not always the final word. Positive, resilient outcomes are attributed to factors such as good parenting, cultural belief, positive support systems, good problem-solving and communication skills, spirituality, and confidence in yourself.

It is questionable whether resilience is innate or a learned behavior. An article published in Education Resource Information Center (Journal, 2006) states that resilience is not innate. People acquire resilience.

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If it is a learned behavior, how do we get it? The American Psychological Association suggests 10 ways to build resilience:

1. Maintaining good relationships with family members and others.

2. Avoid seeing crisis or stressful events as unbearable problems.

3. Accept circumstances that cannot be changed.

4. Develop realistic goals and move toward them.

5. Take decisive actions in adverse situations.

6. Look for opportunities of self-discovery after a struggle with loss.

7. Develop self-confidence.

8. Keep a long-term perspective and consider the stressful event in a broader context.

9. Maintain a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished.

10. Take care of one’s mind and body, exercising regularly, paying attention to one’s own needs and feelings.

Being resilient does not mean that we will never experience stress, trauma or pain. It is when we cannot work through these life difficulties that we need help in finding the road to resilience. Use your resources to help you get through these difficulties, including family, friends and other positive influences. If necessary, use professional help.

Let me know what you think, or ask me a question by emailing me at squiggylpc@hotmail.com. Until next time, light and blessings to you.