This is one of the most person things you will read about me and it’s dedicated to Colin cause we kind of have this in common 😊 Check out his blog it’s pretty cool

Dear A

It’s one thing having an undefeatable physical connection. It’s one thing having an amazing psychological connection and it’s another to have an emotional, physical, psychological and soulful connection. I might be naive but why would that be wrong? It’s something I won’t change in a second but I can stand tall and say it, we had that connection. The special connection, the stupid finishing each other’s sentences thing, the similar mindset sometimes I thought you were in my head. I certainly wasn’t dillusional, words were always at the tip of your tongue, all over you face, all over you. Sometimes you’d even stammer and I would be confused what it is that you are on about but I also like it because it’s so cool and so sweet. You look vulnerable and not in a state of weakness, you look contently vulnerable. I have no better adjective for it. All I say is I do hope to see you because like I said, I am the coldest person and of course you don’t know that but I don’t normally feel just like I don’t feel like being with anyone now and I am putting the blame on you because you are available to blame hence absent to love. I don’t blame you. I knew it was probable to be just an impossibility. It’s okay. If it was meant to be maybe I would be telling a different story. I would be lying if I say I am going to forget you. That lie would be coated with honey just to deceive myself but I can at least assure you (and myself) that in three years time you will be just another past hence one that I will never ever look at like a moment meant to pass but one to remember, reminisce and tempt to feel again.

You don’t make me feel like an ordinary person because even an extra ordinary person would not be able to identify or explain how I felt when you were around. Words would only belittle the moment. It felt like if I ever had the chance to be embraced in your arms I would be the happiest girl alive and every single dream of mine would come true, including being loved by you.

Like I said, words always seemed to be at the tip of your tongue and I wanted you to say them, tell me and I swear to you, nothing else would matter. The age difference would be just an obstacle that I am yet to destroy, that silver ring on your finger would have been just an accessory that you wore and that I cared less about. Which is one of my traits, I am selfish and I care about what I want and rarely about what other people want. Hence with you, I was ready to even care about the littlest things for instance when you couldn’t find your keys, I kept my cool but inside I was shitting myself sideways, and the relief I felt when you found them was beyond feeling.
I am writing this to you because I am coercing every part of me to let you go. Like I said, you are an impossibility and my patience is barely there to things I know have a possibility to come true but what more about you, one who will never ever be mine.

You know I know I will no longer be working at that shop and probably that would be the last time I ever have means to see you. You haven’t even been to the shop since March maybe but every single day I get out of the house I hope to see you because I do miss you. I sometimes make up scenarios where one day I would just bump into you – even in the future – and maybe that you be the start of something. I am also writing this because with so much affection or whatever this is that I feel for you, it is dangerous because once I see you I feel like I can do anything and that would most likely hurt me and other people because it’s not just anything that I would do, it’s anything that makes you happy and that is too dangerous than a gun pointed at my heart but it doesn’t mean that if you came and asked me out I wouldn’t say yes. I can’t even imagine myself saying no to you because I have no reason to. You feel good enough for me, nothing I ever wanted in a man yet everything I will ever want only I didn’t know I actually wanted that.

You are smart, innovative and so handsome. But I have to let go so that I can go on with my life. I know this is just a first step to actually moving on because tomorrow when I go to work ever part of me will be praying to god that you just appear and make me extremely happy again.

It’s one thing having a physical connection with someone. It’s one thing to have a psychological connection, it’s another to have a strong emotional connection but it’s serendipitous to have a combination of all these connections along with a soulful one. I like you. A lot. But goodbye. If I could use an eraser to erase you I could but I know I wouldn’t be able to because even now I can’t even finish this because I can’t let go. I just can’t. It sucks and it makes me feel weak and pathetic but I don’t care. I like you. A million times lot.

Most of the times Harvey is a very loving man. Gentle and caring – in fact it is the main reason why she fell in love with him hence that said it didn’t drive her crazy. Not as crazy as the feeling of him posses her, glide into her, hard but carefully stretching her tight little hole. The confusion of whether she liked the pain or the pleasure had her head almost spiralling. Her ass cheeks burned etching his five fingers on it. With every movement, every passing inch she almost died, not because of the wrath of pain that brimmed in and out of her ass but because of the overwhelming pleasure that followed up after that. The welt met with her ass yet again she arched her back, he pulled out his finger and worked her. In and out, humping like she was a matter of life and death.

Her legs trembled, her knees attempted to buckle. He was close to his climax but he didn’t want to have his end without her having one. So he slid out and and turned her so her back was on the bed. Her face was glowing, eyes flaming with lust, her lips red and wanton. He leaned up to her and put her hands over her head and kissed her lustrously, licking and biting her lips. He trailed his way down to her tits with kisses and light bites. He enveloped the pierced nipple onto his mouth and sucked on it hard that she felt like her nipple was getting pierced all over again but nonetheless it shot bullets of arousal in her system. She knew if he touched her down there this time, she was climaxing and she was not just climaxing she was basically going to combust.
His tongue flickered on the numb bead. Licked and kissed. Then he slid down and pushed her legs wide open her knees were almost touching on her shoulders. He rubs her pussy hastily just above the clit and she was going hella crazy. When she was just about to orgasm her body was shook by the welt meeting with her pussy, delaying the explosion. He ran his tongue across her slit, she raised her hips pressing her pussy against his mouth. He flicked his tongue on her clit and this time, she was going to lose it. Even when he lightly patted her pussy she felt the storm coming and when he inserted his fingers in there along with his mouth on her pussy Ravishing her clit, she climaxed, her teeth gnashed together her body pulsed into a rigid ice that pulsated. Her eyes were blinded, stars maybe but she didn’t know because her brains also stilled. Her world stopped and the universe reminded her Harvey was the only man that conquered all odds with loving her. She could feel his that fingers hadn’t stopped and they were hasty but her body was shook by the waves of pleasure that when her body melted from the shock of the orgasm she still pulsated, her body trembled, she felt like there was a whole river of an orgasm and it kept pouring and pouring nonstop.

After he’d had his end she was strengthless and could barely keep her eyes open. Her joints felt like melted cheese. Her body felt like she had been sprinting for the right three hours. He went into the bathroom to clean himself up before he ran the shower and carried her to the bathroom, washed his wife and put her to bed.

He had done something like this before but this time it was astronomical because he was irrevocably in love with her.

Can you believe I write this at work while trying to avoid looking aroused and serving customers with a smile or a straight face so I can conceal the image of how hot this story has been? Well I have been busy. I hope you enjoy

She wondered, what was it about the pleasure exerted by the flames of a man’s hand against her butt cheeks. It was a fantasy and she had never ever felt it. The last time she’d requested it, it was with a man who saw it as a different nature to provide pleasure through pain. Even when he dared to, his slap felt like a little touch of a small baby hand. He cared too much and sometimes what she needed was careless love. A love so careless and edgy that she would almost quit but because it’s such a challenge it would conjure her to stay. So now she has found a man, his grip is as strong as wood. His eyes seer lust like a demon of sex. “Come here” he is sat on the bed fully dress. She takes the few steps towards her. She is also dressed in a beautiful dress and some work heels.

As she closes near, he grabs her waist and yanks her towards him with such hunger as though he will fit all of her in his mouth. He presses his nose against her stomach and inhales while his fingers dig deep into her ass that she can’t help but emit a complimentary moan. His hands caress around her body down her legs with each trace and each feathered feel of his fingers on her skin causing arousal, her pussy yearning and craving his touch. “Harvey…” she breaths but he slides his fingers up to her lips and presses them on her lips. She can’t help but kiss his thick fingers before enveloping it in her mouth and sucking hard on it that he moans closing her eyes and his member protruding.

Harvey inserts his hand in her drenched underwear. She grinds her hips, spreading her legs a little bit wider to allow him enough access. She draws her neck back when Harvey rubs her clit gently and slowly in tormenting circular motions. He pushes his fingers into her mouth and forces her to suck on them. He rises from the bed and looks deep in her eyes. Keeping the two of his fingers in her mouth while she sucks hard, he kisses her neck eliciting so much lust that she becomes oblivious to who she is or what she feels. All she knows is she wants to be fucked. Real good.

Harvey drives his fingers down her mouth while looking into her eyes, murmuring sweet seductive words. She deep throats his fingers. He pulls them out and hastily kisses her. Before she gets used to the hot tongue session Harvey throws her onto the bed.

“On all fours babe” he bids the clicking of his belt loud and masculine in the room. She does and bid.

“Spread them wide, I want to see how wet that pussy is” Harvey’s nasty words have her almost climaxing. Especially when she spreads her knees and he runs his fingers down her pussy. His touch is medicine, intoxicating and dangerous. He smacks her pussy and she yelps. Furious pleasure ripples through her body but she knows it’s no an orgasm it’s a warning before the tsunami or an orgasm. He uses his belt to slap her pussy tenderly and she draws her neck back arching her back. The arousal, the sweet painful arousal that she feels makes her crazy. Harder this time, Harvey slaps the mouth of the belt on her pussy and she cries out loud her wetness running down her legs. She wants more and she wants him to hit harder. So she begs for it and Harvey’s next slap has no mercy and it calls a huge climax but she knows it’s another warning and she wants more. Harvey inserts two of his fingers into her pussy and quickly finger her, she is so wet and slippery; it’s making Harvey ten times harder and she is at the urge of the climax. He smacks her ass and her pussy clenches around his fingers. He pulls them out glazed with her essence.

“You drive me crazy woman” he growls spanking her pussy making her clench some more, then he climbs on the bed and presses her back down onto the bed making her pussy open than ever. Then he puts his finger in her wet walls before inserting his thick cock stretching her out and…

(To be continued) it kinda got too hot here. I can’t finish cause 💦💦💦 so maybe tomorrow or later today.

Colin has given me something to talk about just like I asked in my happy one year post.

The question is… ﻿

Colin Gave me something to think about and I have never ever thought about that. True love. If anyone in this blog knows something about me is how much I want to be in love and to love someone. But if there is something I can’t stand is pain. I can stand physical pain but never emotional pain.
Hence, a part of me that craves love ever so much thinks I would actually want to experience what it would be like to be with the love of my life for six months. Despite the time limit on that, I think it is an experience I can’t miss. Pain is sometimes meant for growth and maybe I would grow stronger after those six months. I love love and I can’t imagine how amazing it would be to find the true love of my life and even if it will be for a short while, I think I would be happy I had a chance to be with them.

But

If I never meet them and never ever know the feeling of love that could possibly mean I would be unhappy and busy being in plain relationships, being cheated on, being hurt twenty times more in my life, probably being lonely and sad or more. I feel like that would be more sad because I would be wishing on true love and if I never meet them I will never ever believe in true love again. My mother is the example of something like that. Mom is 37 and she hasn’t met her true lover. She has been in all kinds of horrible relationships, she has been abused, she has had a boyfriend that literally pointed a gun on her head, she has been played cheated and all kinds of bad stuff and here she is 37 years young and believing love is bullshit and she would rather be on her own. When I tell her how much I wish to love a man one day she tells me “maybe its possible but men are plain rubbish (no offence to the lads on here) I should focus on myself.”

In other ways she is right, I should always focus on myself but these horrible men she had had in her life have painted a bad picture for every man out there and trust me a small part of her does want to be in love but she just can’t trust anyone or really believe anyone who says they love her because ten minutes after that they hurt her and I think if she spent six months with the true love of her life; she would still have hope. Whereas now, she isn’t even looking or caring for that matter. She is happy on her own and that’s something I don’t want for myself. Not that she is sad, I just want love. simple.

So my final answer is, I would love to spend six months with the love of my life and this question has made me make a promise that if I really was to meet the true love of my life, I would spend each day like it’s the last. I would love them like I have never before and after those six months pain would obviously be inevitable but one day I would say “I was once in love” and it would be one hell of a story.

So tell me what would you do? Spend six months with the true love of your life or never ever meet them?

Oh my goodness time flies! One year ago I started this blog, I was scared, unsure and in all honesty someone had told me it’s a great marketing way so I wasn’t thinking about making good friendships as much as I have. I actually was just promoting my books and that was it. But at one time I stopped doing that and deleted everything and it remained just an empty blog for months. From September last year that’s when I decided to start writing, this time I was communicating and expressing myself more.

It’s nice being single, it really is but sometimes it is definitely not. I always knew in me there was some sexual part of me and it scared me shitless that I was opening that side of me to people I didn’t know. I simply started writing erotica on here because someone would read and perhaps won’t see me as a weirdo and also because I didn’t/ don’t have anyone to get naughty with or tease or write to or do anything with; I am single and actually happy but obviously I needed someone to listen or read my dirty brains and on this blog I found people who did and it’s you lot! You have supported my work and haven’t made me feel like a wierdo. I mean, almost every one of you is older than me and they have more experience than I do and that scared me shitless but no one read my work and told me I was an immature writer or I was so bad. I got some more advise on writing in general, you guys showed some love to my work and sometimes I tell myself that I will stop writing because I overthink things and I would be thinking this might have an effect to my relationships in the future but then I think about how much you guys like what I write and I will find myself writing again.

I also thank you for enjoying every aspect of my writing because as you can see my blog, I mix almost everything I can write about and you guys motivate me and support me and for that I am thankful to you.

I thank you for my confidence in writing and for my growth in writing.

I hope to write some more for you guys and for something new to this blog, I am letting you guys decide what you want me to write about this month, so if you want me to write about some topic or anything just comment and I will see to it.

Again, it’s one year together people and even the new friends I have made… I am grateful 😊

I am a fool fooled by the visions of a life presented in a silver goblet.

All that happens on my head occurs before my eyes in the subliminal line between human sight and that of a dreamer

Then I am constantly told; ‘dreamers die drowning in the depth of sadness’ due to my higher expectation

What you are unbeknownst to is my courage and the strength that I carry on my shoulders,

Since you are a bull that knows we’re its horns come from I assure you, my dreams will come true

So, sue me; I am a dreamer

Without my dreams, I am a blind dog with no sense of smell – lost

My hope and belief is breed through the weight of my golden glazed dreams,

Up in the high chair of a queen watching the lights gleam my fortune, and that is a dream in live to be

So sue me, I am a dreamer

I dream to love and be love

I have been told that is naivity, the dreams of girl that only knows nothing

Maybe that’s why I don’t feel anything for the small minded and why I will wait till he comes forth with his beauty and darkness

So hey, sue me I am a dreamer

I will continue to work till I am a moving ghost, what happens in my head is constructed by my will power and my heart,

I dream you learn to dream because I could see it in your eyes, your ignorance is a defence mechanism surrounded by jealousy.

So sue me I am a dreamer

And I dare you to laugh at me, show me your putrid teeth painted by the essence of your ugly soul so that when my dreams come true and I shine, you will be blinded and you will bow because you know nothing.

I am drowning in the pool of want
My love, should you pull me out and coax me in your arms

Let me satiate your arousal,

Let me be on my knees and worship you, my king

I am a woman with dignity and hence untethered love for you

Should I feel weak for wanting you to glaze me with your essence and let me shine your grace and glory on my skin

Many would think I am a freak but the truth to that is knowns by you my love, I am an untamed rider, I will ride you dry until the hinges of my hips feel like they will disjoint from each other.

Sometimes I wonder if I was made of rubber, how could you possibly fill yourself into my mouth and let me drink up your essence while deep in my throat.

I am a woman well aware of what I want and who I am, my face is a shade of cuteness, my brains are opulent; filled with all kinds of beauty and nastiness. Tonight baby, I will show you what nasty looks like and tomorrow I will be your cuteness

Tonight burry yourself st every orifice of my body and then say it…

tell me…

tell me I am the only one.

The only one that you love, if not I will not let you release your essence inside me because I am a woman who knows what she wants and who she is… and I will not be played and disrespected