subscribe

Pages

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Some bakeries are using all-plastic character picks for their doll cakes, like so:

(Who else thinks there's a roll of TP under there? Anyone? Anyone?)

And while I applaud the move away from synthetic hair, which tends to get mired in the frosting and cause significant amounts of Jen-gagging, I also see that doll cakes are now degrading into nothing more than vaguely rounded lumps of cake with torso picks jammed into them. Check it out:

With that disk around her waist it looks like Cinderella is popping out of a manhole stuck in a blueberry. Granted, we can't blame the decorator there - after all, s/he didn't make the pick - but if we mosey over to the issue of the glaringly mismatched blues we can blame all we want; they'll make more. (Three words, hiring managers: "color vision testing".)

Or how about this one?

It looks like Dora the Explorer has just popped out of a giant organ and is proudly teaching us the Spanish phrase for "No thank you, I am allergic to purple brains". Which, while handy to know, isn't really something you'd want a visual with.

Jessy, Calla B., & Troy K., you may accuse me of skirting the issue, but that last Wreck really makes you think, doesn't it?

Actually that last one looks like...A) Dora is popping out of a giant genetically altered boysenberry, and shouting "Bienvenido Berry!" orB) Dora is returning to her home planet aboard a modified, modernized, and painted "Spaceship Earth" and she's shouting "No swiping los seres humanos"

The Dora one really doesn't work not just because the "skirt" is impossibly round, but because Dora is not actually a princess. A real explorer would have no cause to wear a giant bulbous gown--real mobility issues though.

Side note--I did see a dress really similar to Dora's in China last summer. It was interesting.

In addition to the end of synthetic hair, let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that no one will ever feel compelled to cover two plastic molded breasts with icing. Which is creepy in the extreme. I did a princess cake for my daughter's birthday last year and used ribbon because I just couldn't stand to do the icing bit.

I'm with Ros on this - I would assume bakers are supposed to cover the base of the pick with icing. Then again, why should we expect as much, given all we've seen on this site! And of course, if they did things correctly, we wouldn't have this site! :)

Love your cake wreck blog! I wish I would have saved pics from some of the disasters I have "created" in the past. ANyway, my aunt made me a barbie cake when I was 9 or so, it kicked butt over these atrocities. Yucky looking crap.c.pollen

I realize this makes me sound like a horrible pedantic nerd who watches age-inappropriate television, but.... Dora did wear a fancy, frilly dress to her cousin Daisy's quinceañera party in one episode. However, I can tell you it didn't look much like that wreck.

Uh,oh. This is going to be another day of folks not reading the comments. jackie has informed us that dora wore a dress to her cousin's quinceañera party and folks are still telling us that Dora wears shorts.

Would icing cover Barbie's tatoo?Here is a picture: http://www.nykola.com/ and she links to the article.

Dora wears various dresses in some of the themed showes and has been dressed up as a princess atleast twice. (Fairy tale adventure and snow princess).

However the design I'm guessing they were trying to mimic would be from "Dance to the Rescue."http://shop.nickjr.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3122383&cp=1029107.1309371&page=4&pageBucket=0&parentPage=family

OK, here is my half-full attempt at being kind today. At least those huge hips and butts are not selling the slinky, size 0 body images to our young, impressionable daughters. I once saw my SIL in a bathing suit and I swear she had a body like that. Normal from the waist up and then...Shazaam...big enough for two women. There was no bathing suit skirt able to cover that unless is was one of those bathing burkas the Saudi women wear. Oh, I guess there goes my attempt at being nice.

The look on Cinderella's face is priceless! It looks as if she is staring the creator right in the eyes and saying, "Hey--you DID say I'm getting a REALLY LOT of money to do this...DIDN'T you?? I mean, like, I'm rillyrilly counting on it 'cuz I'm getting all sticky-like, an' I can't , like, move my LEGS or anything...an' I'm ON a DIET and all...y'know?"

I think the main problem 'ere is that most grocery stores can't afford to hire decorators who actually know how to decorate, because that's a skill and deserves decent pay. So they hire teenagers who don't look TOO cracked-out.

But imagine what monstrosities we'd find if those picks were outlawed and grocery store bakers/decorators had to make princess cakes from scratch? Arrrrrrgh.

(By the way,a shout-out to the Hannaford near my Grandma's house - they actually do an OK cake).

And I think we are doing the female population a disservice with the picks. A girl should have to watch the legs being ripped off a faux barbie so the cake can be made. Such things prepare a girl for all the ups and downs of life.

my mother-in-law bought one of those top cakes for my daughter in tennessee and then drove with it in the car to get to chicago. by the time she got here, sleeping beauty had a definite list. when we pulled off the plastic cover, she lost half her tp, er, dress. not my favorite cake for her...

Ok so am I the only one that think the barbie cakes aren't bad?? A friend of mine made one by making the cake and then sticking the entire barbie in it, up to her waist, legs and all. Her daughter loved it!! She got to eat cake AND have a toy to play with.

and as far as Dora, well she looks like she's coming out of a purple mountain, not wearing a dress!

lol, we got the barbie one for our daughter's first birthday smash cake, it was the perfect size. this is a great example of when the execution of the idea can give extremely different results. our baby's cake was very cute... evenly frosted and nicely piped skirt... i loved it! some people just dont belong working in the bakery. maybe they would be better at spraying the vegetables or something?

Ya know, those doll cakes might be worth something if the recipient . . . you know . . . got a doll out of it, like other people mention. I mean, pulling half a lady out of a cake? Now, that's a whole other scare factor!!! And the skirts are so ugly . . .

I also agree with the person who mentioned the ickiness of eating a skirt . . .

For people who read this far: i have a 3 year old sister who LOVES dora and i've seen tons of ads for dance to the rescue and as far as i know it is the 2nd time she wares a dress and the only time she wares the dress sort of like on the 3rd cake, but it is pretty ugly.

"Uh,oh. This is going to be another day of folks not reading the comments. jackie has informed us that dora wore a dress to her cousin's quinceañera party and folks are still telling us that Dora wears shorts."

Er, I didn't realise the coments posted instantly. I thought it was possible to post before the last comment was veiwable.

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.