A satirical blog about media, marketing, advertising, politics, pop culture, etc. All references to actual companies, products, people, etc. is for the purpose of parody. All writing is copyright by Greg Medernach, and is mostly intended as absurdist humor, and as a portfolio of comedy and creative advertising material. Questions and Comments: unconditionedresponse@yahoo.com

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Rig the Election: The Video Game!

Yes, it’s the Rig the Election Video Game, where players try to rig the US Presidential Election for their preferred party or candidate! Play as a Democrat; play as a Republican! (Sorry: no playing as a third-party candidate, as the system is already rigged against them!) Play alone, or with friends, or with teams playing against each other to rig the election!

First, get the news media to be a bunch of dishonest partisan shills for your side! Then, get all the political comedy shows to smear the other side’s candidate while kissing ass to yours! Everyone who watches TV will surely be brainwashed into voting for your candidate!

Next limit voter registration to exclude people unlikely to vote for your candidate! Then limit early voting after a storm so people can’t get to the polls! And then, try to trick or intimidate people at the polls, telling them they’re not allowed to vote!

Then register dead people to vote and encourage them to vote again and again and again, using disguises such as fake mustaches and hats and such, and make sure to ferry them around town to different polling places!

You’re almost halfway to victory, but make sure you still try to secretly reprogram Diebold voting machines so no mater which candidate voters select, it always indicates they voted for your candidate! Then, make sure all the machines are old and easy to hack; and be sure they’re all attached to the internet for easy hacking access! Then hack them to make sure your candidate wins!

And don’t forget to dump all those absentee ballots in the trash so they can never be counted!

And if, after all that, your side still loses, then sue and get your father’s buddies on the Supreme Court to overturn the result! But if you win, say the other side has to accept the sham result, you know, for the good of the country.

It’s hours of fun for the whole family, making everyone hate each other who used to love each other, it’s: Rig the Election: The Video Game! Get yours wherever shyster type things are sold!