Dalles Mountain 60

On a day in early March, over 200 cyclists showed up individually to not participate in an event not organized by Velodirt. Harder hardships would be difficult to imagine, as the relentless early Spring 60 degree Oregon sun beat upon our faces and turned our pasty white skin to a slightly less pasty white skin. As the contrast on our photos increased, it appeared that our sundrenched faces might be blown out completely. But then we found our trusty film grain, and added enough texture to bring ourselves back to the world of the being.

At one point, one of the tires in our group seemed to lose air and we thought all was lost. But we replaced the tube and endured, stronger for having suffered so. There will hills that went up. And others that went down. We’re almost unable to comprehend how difficult and miserable and challenging riding a bike though the glorious countryside can be. Those who have not been through it can possibly know what we’ve been though. How could they?

We don’t understand how the people at Velodirt are able to not organize this event for free and without winners. I can only assume this is part of a brand strategy, synthesizing their synergies on impactful profiteering in the luxury goods demographic.

Big Fonts

We like our rides like we like our fonts. Sans serif. If we have something to say, we will say it in Helvetica overlaid on a picture of us looking off into the distance, pretending that our photographer didn't just say, "Look off into the distance like you're thinking deeply about something!"

Blogvertisasionalizing

We look special, but we're just like you. A couple of cyclists who ride around with a professional stenographer in tow. And just like you, we want something for nothing. So if you're a "sponsor," we'll pretend we just discovered your product and love it. Hard and in public.

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