Friday, January 30, 2009

Is that what it is? I am feeling so overwhelmed, like someone heaped 3 extra helpings onto my already full plate while I wasn't looking. Of coarse, that someone is me. It's just my personality to take on too much, and normally I am able to organize and divide my time in order to get it all done. Right now, I don't know if it's cabin fever or what, but I just can't seem to focus. All at once, I am thinking about the dreadful Small Business coarse that I have to finish by April 1st, I need to start some sort of exercise routine (it's a bad, bad sign when your jeans start cutting off the circulation in your thighs when you are sitting), I have reports to write, files to update, appointments to schedule, therapists to meet with. I have my own family needs that are needing me! I have to get that OT form back so that Ry can hopefully be seen before the end of this school year. My house is being over run by dust bunnies, my laundry is taking over my basement, my work area needs to be organized. Even the things that I want to do seem to be overwhelming me! I have countless books in que and manyWIP's on the needles. All of which I want to finish!!!! I have projects that I have to cast on b/c people are waiting...very patiently....and I have projects that I need to cast on because I can't wait to give them to the surprised and delighted recipient!!!Anyway, that's my rant. If I could go for a run, I would. That would do the trick, as it always does. I am absolutely opposed to running outside in the winter, though, so I guess maybe I should get these thighs onto the elliptical.Somebody please send me some relaxation Karma!!!!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

I have this girlfriend who, since I've turned (maybe 28) or so, has always reminded me of my age. It's not unusual for me to knock a year or so off, or add a year or so on (I know, that's crazy!!!). Well, I think for the past 6 months I have been saying, OUT LOUD, "I'm going to be 33 this year, it's time for me to think about getting healthier". 33. So for at least 6 months, everyone who knows me (her in particular, hehe) has been cruelly letting me believe that I am turning 33. UGH!!! (Just kidding Jewels ;) But seriously, it was a reality check when I did the math. I called her immediately. It's a good thing that I got her voice mail. I left my panicked message and asked her to call me back to confirm. Ok, so as the story goes, I am NOT turning 33 this year. I am turning 34. Ouch. That was even difficult to write. Here's what it is: I am in an amazing marriage. Seriously, I am married to my soul mate, my best friend. We are so totally in love still after 10 years (that seems strange to write, but it's such a milestone these days). I have 2 beautiful, brilliant, funny and amazing children. My world is filled with beautiful friends who inspire me, confide in me, support me and stand by me. (and back at you, my girls). So this issue that I seem to be having with my age seems to be gnawing at me for one particular reason. I feel like I am at the age where I need to realize that "this is what it is all about". I am not a teenager anymore, and although my metabolism still, somewhat works in my favour, I won't ever be a size 0 again. (do i really want to be, anyway?). My career is one that I love. Is this where I want to stay. Til retirement? I don't know. I am truly thankful that I've lived long enough to enjoy these almost 34 years. My Mom passed away when she was 21. I often think of her and it sobers me. Be happy. I'm healthy, I'm happy, I have been through some of the most difficult things, things that statistically should have broken me. (which should be another post in itself, but I won't, lol). Sooooooooo, after all the blathering, does anyone have any advice on how to just look at the bright side of aging? I see the physical changes in my body and when I see young girls, they remind me of me. Most days I still feel like I'm in my 20's. Most days I still act like it, lol. So do I let social standards affect me, or do I continue to live my life exactly the way that I feel inside?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

So to keep this from being a long winded post, let's just say that quiet mornings and beautiful, sun-shiny weather led me to an epiphany this morning and it just keeps getting better. I discovered something about myself that I didn't know and wasn't seeking answers for. Obviously. During that discovery, I considered the truth behind one of my favourite quotes "you never know when you're making a memory". It doesn't matter how momentous it is, chances are that it has helped to shape you to who you are today. As is the case behind this morning's quiet discovery.I put it aside and carried on with my day, not giving it another thought. Tonight, while the kids were busy being friends and playing very well together, I picked up my pen and began to journal in the most incredible journal that was given to me by a very special girlfriend. Mid-way through, I had the urge to pick up the book that this same friend gave me for Christmas. It's called "Gifts from a Course in Miracles". I flipped randomly to a page and when I looked at it, I couldn't believe it. I do, for sure believe in fate and I do believe that my path is laid out for me. What is for me will come. This seems to be just more reassurance that my journey to Winnipeg on Tuesday will be all that I hope for it. I know I'm being evasive, and I will elaborate, if you wish, just ask. Anyway, the page that I flipped to had a simple black and white picture of grass blowing in the wind and with it, a simple quote: "I place the future in the Hands of God".Here's what followed:"You are but asked to let the future go,and place it in God's Hands.And you will see by your experiencethat you have laid the past and presentin His Hands as well,because the past will punish you no more,and the future dread will now be meaningless.Release the future.For the past is gone,and what is present,freed from its bequestof grief and misery,of pain and loss,becomes the instant in which timeescapes the bondage of illusionswhere it runs its pitiless, inevitable course.Then is each instant which was slave to timetransformed into a holy instant,when the light that was kept hidden in God's Sonis freed to bless the world.Now is he free, and all his gloryshines upon a world made free with him,to share his holiness.

Place, then, your future in the Hands of God.For thus you call the memory of Him to come again,replacing all your thoughts of sin and evilwith the truth of love.Think you the world could fail to gain thereby,and every living creature not respondwith healed perception?Who entrusts himself to Godhas also placed the world within the Handsto which he has himself appealedfor comfort and security.He lays aside the sick and illusions of the worldalong with hisand offeres peace to both.

This is, by no means, meant to sound "preachy". It just fits and I had to share it.Whew. I can't wait for Tuesday.

Friday, January 16, 2009

No, not booger.....booga. Bag, that is. I needed to post finished pictures (or at least one anyway) because this bag is all the rave everywhere I go. It's crazy how many compliments and requests that I get! I didn't think it would turn out to be something that I loved so much. I figured that I would end up using it as a project-take-along bag. Not so much. Not yet, anyway. Here it is. I spiced it up, adding a clasp and flowers.So here it is. Ain't she purdy?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

WOW I am the luckiest and most grateful person ever right now! I just got back from an invitation to stash dive!!! Knitters and crocheters alike will understand this! Check this out!

Can you believe this!?!?! My girlfriend's mil purged her stash and she shared it with me! I could hardly contain myself when I saw that her living room floor was an entire yarn stash!!! She invited me in and I had to hold myself back from rolling around and frolicking in all of this fibrous goodness!!! She made me the most heavenly cup of tea and we dove in! There was copius amounts of yarn, all of which came from Eaton's and Ram Wools. Whoooo hoooo! She is new to knitting, so I went through the yarns and gave her some ideas for each bag (yes bag) full. I can't even put into words just how much there was. And it's not done. There's more to come! Phew! She inherited a stitch marker and a stitch holder (to both of which I had to emphasize the greatness of such tools). She was a little overwhelmed to say the least. As for myself, I felt like I was living my fantasy. (As some of you may know part of my fantasy includes being cuddled up in my bed surrounded by yarn and books, lol...it has nothing to do with the "normal" bed time ideas ;)I captured my luck on film. There's an amazing ball of knitpick's Suri Dream yarn which I have been given by a girlfriend who just seemed to know that she would MAKE MY DAY by giving me this! Thank you again, btw! (My over zealousness about the beauty of this yarn may have tipped her off!)I cannot wait to cast on something with these yarns. Now I need to go project hunting. But first, I have to finish these, as I am determined to NOT lose sight of what will be the most amazing legwarmers (yup, that's what I said, but move over Jane Fonda, here's a new twist to what could otherwise be incredibly 80's and super tacky)! How will I sleep tonight?????

Monday, January 5, 2009

I'm done all of my Christmas knitting and crafts. Now it's time for me! Well, sort of. It's funny because sometimes when I begin a project whether it's knitting or sewing or other, I often start out with the intentions of keeping it for myself. However, as I progress into the project sometimes it just doesn't feel like it belongs to me any more. Sounds strange, but crafters will understand. A friend gave an analogy that makes perfect sense. It's kind of like surrogacy, only in an inanimate object sort of way, lol! You realize that though the project may be beautiful, you realize that it belongs to someone else and so when you are finished, you gift it. That's not happening so far anyway with the projects that I have on the needles. I am making the project on the right. It's going to be a beautiful shawl and although it has holes, it's being created out of soy wool, so it will be nice and warm! I have progressed much further on this since the photo. One ball down, 2 to go!

I also have a booga bag on needles.The first picture is of before felting, the second one after. It's blocking right now. Essentially, it's a bag that's knitted on really big needles using wool. Then it's felted. It turns into this:

My 3rd project that I'm going to cast on is some "suede" booties for my girlfriend's baby who will be born in February. They are just so incredibly cute. Unfortunately, I haven't cast them on yet, but that's coming. Again, I will post pics. If you hang out on Ravelry, I'm there under mbsandybee. Look me up. All of my knitted projects are there. Eventually I will figure out how to incorporate my knitting pics and stuff into my blog. I need to learn how to grid my pictures first!