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My Anxiety Story

Over the course of my adult life, many people have asked about my anxiety and been genuinely curious about what it is like.

So, for this post, I have decided to tell you my Anxiety story.

Background

I have always been mildly anxious; even as a child. I remember many school holidays being worried that there was nothing to worry about; it felt like I had somehow overlooked something.

However, given that I was a child and my parents were inexperienced with mental health issues; we failed to recognize that this was the beginning of a debilitating condition.

Full-blown anxiety

Despite being mildly anxious as a child, I had never experienced the truly horrifying panic attacks until I was 18.

November 13, 2008, a day that will forever remain etched in my mind; this is the day that my friend took his own life.

I remember being numb for the funeral; I didn’t know what to feel – I was unprepared for this.

The real trouble came at around midnight after the funeral. I woke up in a horrifying panic, and I felt like I was going to die. I would later come to realize that this was my first panic attack.

How I am now

Since my first panic attack, my anxiety has never become less frightening.

I am now 27-years-old, and I am still fighting my illness as hard as ever. I’m agoraphobic; which makes working impossible.

As such, I am incredibly lucky enough that my federal government considers me disabled enough to qualify for disability payments. I am glad someone in power understands that mental illness can be crippling and life ruining.

How blogging has helped

While I am still battling my anxiety, I believe that blogging has helped me immensely.

Blogging has become a creative outlet for my disorder; I find that writing is therapeutic for me.

Also, through the blogging community, I have made a ton of new friends from all over the world; which is nice, as agoraphobia can be quite lonely.

Conclusion

I have accepted that I will likely have anxiety for life. I will have to keep battling; heck, I don’t even know if I will ever be able to hold down a “proper job.”

However, in the meantime, I will keep plugging away at this blog and see where it takes me.

Stay tuned to The Anxious Canadian, the future looks exciting.

Links

I decided to include a couple of links for anxiety organizations in a few different countries.

If you are experiencing excessive anxious feelings or panic attacks, I urge you to speak to your physician. Anxiety is a treatable condition.

Loved reading this honest post (and I love the name of your blog too. It’s awesome to see that blogging has had a positive impact on your anxiety too. I know blogging has helped me heaps (in other ways).

Glad to hear that blogging has helped with your anxiety as a creative outlet. I suffer from anxiety too and the panic attacks can be debilitating, but like you I’m trying to power through and blogging really helps. I hope you all the best for your blogging future =^.^=

First, condolences for the loss of your friend at such a young age!
Then, congratulations for having the courage to share with us your struggle with anxiety disorder.
I would like to read more about that, do you see a psychotherapist there? Or just take some medication?

Putting your story out there is powerful for other people. You know personal that just knowing you are not alone or other people suffer similar to you can be helpful. Even if one person read and think “she is doing this” is incredible. thank you.

[…] November 2008 after attending the funeral of a high school friend who’d committed suicide. I woke up at midnight in a complete state the morning after; I didn’t know what was happening and I thought that I was about to die. Terrifying. […]