Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.

gnosis wrote:What makes me laugh about your story isn't the age of your GF as much as your attitude. You sound like an older man. Maybe what turns young Thai girls off is that you sound like their dad.

How exactly do I sound like an older man? Just wondering what separates younger guys from older guys in your opinion. Just to let you know, I'm 25 and MarcosZeitola is also around my age. But Marcos sounds exceptionally mature for his age. Random readers might have guessed that he should actually be Professor Marcos.

And yes I do tend to turn off younger middle-class American and Thai women, but not Filipina barangay girls who are my age. I mesh well with Filipinas my own age in the Visayas. See viewtopic.php?t=20258

It's been over one year, and we've been together as a successful family unit. We've lived together for almost every single day. There is minimal drama, and we get along quite well. It almost feels as if it's a few years after marriage. We feel like a practical, functioning, stable family, rather than teenagers having crushes on each other. My daughter and I do all sorts of fun things together, like biking, catching insects, playing computer games, walking around in local markets, playing ball, running, and so on. Locals keep thinking she is my biological daughter too.

And my "wifey" is such a wonderful woman. She is a responsible, frugal business owner, and takes good care of me and our daughter. Her cooking is absolutely fabulous.

I am 25, and my "wife" is 41. But it feels like a really normal, stable relationship. Honestly, I probably would feel much less comfortable with most girls in the 20-25 age range.

I should write up a new post about my perspectives on life, dating, and having a family in Thailand. I'm thinking of writing about how many aspects of the Thai mindset is ultimately very similar to that of the Chinese mindset despite some superficial differences, and then contrasting it to the Filipino mindset.

You don't always have to justify you being with an older woman, Falcon, anymore then Rock, OutWest or Davewe have to justify being with younger women. It's a small niche that few guys are into, and that allows you to live life the way you wish, so more power to you.

A year into this relationship, I do advice you to give your future plans some deeper thoughts. Especially the issue of family planning is a very real concern not to be overlooked. You cannot bury your head in the sand like an ostrich, my friend: your lady is in her forties, and she had her tubes tied. You can either keep it that way and have no kids of your own, or you can have the surgery reversed. If you wish to have it reversed, I would advice you not to wait any longer. The risks grow bigger by the day.

MarcosZeitola wrote:You cannot bury your head in the sand like an ostrich, my friend: your lady is in her forties, and she had her tubes tied. You can either keep it that way and have no kids of your own, or you can have the surgery reversed. If you wish to have it reversed, I would advice you not to wait any longer. The risks grow bigger by the day.

Eh, surely the idea would be to f**k her for a few more years until she became a bit crusty and then trade her in for a newer model. Having her get surgery and have more kids at her age would be reckless and stupid.

momopi wrote:Was watching TW news and saw a report on 1 in 5 recent marriages had older women with younger men pairings. It did not specify age gap stats.

I do not get that. Men are generally not compatible with women older than them because men mature slower. For me, a 10 year age gap, less than 6 too little, and more than 12-15 the interests too different in the sense of children and jolling.

The only times I have seen it work is with dominant women and submissive men. When that like to wear the pants need a man that allows them to be in control. Generally that is a younger man with less experience. But, hey if a man is happy like that......It could never work for me. I dont need a mother or grandmother.

At least Falcon is happier than many on here. Whether he will be when he is 40 with a sex drive and the woman is well beyond menopause and no sex drive, who knows.

The concept of age is just a number is ridiculous. Age affects your stamina, life status, health and interests. Of course if you are very fit and young and heart you may get on with a young woman, but for how long?

I have women much younger than me that could not cook an omelette or pasta not lift a finger at home. Lazy entitlement women worth pomping and not much more. I have also had some that cook well and treat a man with respect and look after him, and also tend my house. Admittedly, the latter are not common, but they exist. It is not a reason for me to chase my mother's friends because they look after a house. If you need that, hire a maid.

Don't you want a partner? Someone who will go through the life stages with you, from having and raising children, educating them , watching them grow successfully? You will miss all that and have a ready made teenager instant family, never having raised kids.

Being happy now, and long term life happiness are 2 different things. The first is a good time, sex and thrills without concern for the future. The latter is long term commonality of goals and life status and shared situations. The first is best as friends with benefits. The latter is for marriage.

My lady cooks lots of great food for me everyday, dotes on me, drives me around, gets me super cheap local deals, knows plenty of great folks. Awesome housewife, mother, friend, worker, small business owner, jack-of-all-trades. Has great curves and satisfies me well, and is intimate with me too.

Now try to find a young Thai woman who has all of the above traits. Maybe in Myanmar, but most likely not in Thailand anymore.

A year into this relationship, I do advice you to give your future plans some deeper thoughts. Especially the issue of family planning is a very real concern not to be overlooked. You cannot bury your head in the sand like an ostrich, my friend: your lady is in her forties, and she had her tubes tied. You can either keep it that way and have no kids of your own, or you can have the surgery reversed. If you wish to have it reversed, I would advice you not to wait any longer. The risks grow bigger by the day.

Great points. We're thinking about this and are planning to go to a fertility clinic this month to see what the doctors say.

But it's not an absolute must for now. Life abroad can be quite uncertain, and having kids can complicate things more. We will be weighing all the pro's and con's and thinking about this carefully.

Don't you want a partner? Someone who will go through the life stages with you, from having and raising children, educating them , watching them grow successfully? You will miss all that and have a ready made teenager instant family, never having raised kids.

Being happy now, and long term life happiness are 2 different things. The first is a good time, sex and thrills without concern for the future. The latter is long term commonality of goals and life status and shared situations. The first is best as friends with benefits. The latter is for marriage.

I feel like I am in sync with her. She is indeed my partner. I raised her daughter since her last year of kindergarten, and it feels like a very real, personal fatherhood. My new daughter is extremely attached to me and is my best friend, along with my lady. And we think about our future too. We're definitely thinking about long-term life happiness.

But I don't feel like I'm in sync with women my own age or women who are younger than me, especially in the US. They act and think like adolescents, whereas I'm more like Winston and the rest of you guys.

Besides, in many developing countries, it's totally normal for guys to already have a wife and child at age 25, and to think like a responsible husband and father, rather than as a partygoer and serial dater.

Last edited by Falcon on May 3rd, 2017, 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I know it all looks weird when you read about it on the Internet, but in real life, it looks surprisingly normal, and most people don't give us any second glances. They assume we're just yet another happy nuclear family. It looks as if Mom and Dad are both somewhere in their 30's, with a daughter in 1st grade. And it certainly feels that way too.

Falcon wrote:I know it all looks weird when you read about it on the Internet, but in real life, it looks surprisingly normal, and most people don't give us any second glances. They assume we're just yet another happy nuclear family. It looks as if Mom and Dad are both somewhere in their 30's, with a daughter in 1st grade. And it certainly feels that way too.

Falcon..You are actually blessed.

This is one of the biggest secret from ancient India, if you get married to an older women, It's a blessing.

Many will not believe this but if you wanna good life, material prosperity, spiritual progress...you get married to a older women. It is actually not that easy, you got to have lots of Good karma from past life to enjoy the fruits of being married to an older women.

or one can follow, true spiritual secrets and make sure he marries an older women and see how his life changes. 10000+% guaranteed.

This is like the top close to number 1 secret, if you wanna turn your life around and you generally prefer a married life...Chose a women older than you.

Yeah. Its reverse. Women should be older than men during marriage, this dark age has reversed the norm.

Women are considered TRUE protector of home. Men cannot protect a family. If you have a gun or knife to save your family, you are already too late. Protection in the form of spiritual layer. No harm comes to a home when a women is older than men.

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You actually did the right thing. You do not have to justify why you did when you did the right thing.

I would give you an example of one of Indian celebrities Navjot Singh Sidhu.

Before marriage he was a nobody, struggling to become a cricketer...Number 1 sport in India, after marriage...his life completely changed...He became a very famous cricketer, appeared in movies, TV show, became a reality TV host, had numerous successful business and to top that even got elected as senator. He is now a minister as well, he never got defeated in elections and won with record votes, he attributes his success to his wife.

In polls conducted in the state of Punjab where he is from on the kind of dream men they would like to get married to...he got 90% of votes from women, who would love a husband like him.

He is now one of the most famous men in India.

No one has achieved more than this guy in India. He has done possibly everything a man desires in such a short period of time.

Marrying an older women was the norm in Ancient India. It is the RIGHT WAY to get married.

Khadijah was the closest to Muhammad and confided in her the most out of all his following wives. It is narrated in many hadiths that Khadijah was Muhammad's most trusted and favorite among all his marriages. It is narrated in Sahih Muslim: The messenger of Allah said: "God Almighty never granted me anyone better in this life than her. She accepted me when people rejected me; she believed in me when people doubted me; she shared her wealth with me when people deprived me; and Allah granted me children only through her."

Last edited by Falcon on May 4th, 2017, 6:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

starchild5 wrote:
Women are considered TRUE protector of home. Men cannot protect a family. If you have a gun or knife to save your family, you are already too late. Protection in the form of spiritual layer. No harm comes to a home when a women is older than men.

I went back to visit relatives last year. I have a cousin I haven't seen since I was a kid who is maybe 8 or 10 years older than I am. At the last family reunion I remember seeing him at, he was in his 20's and attended with his girlfriend of about 40 or maybe older. I was a child and I didn't talk to him or pay attention to who he was with. My mom said she wouldn't like her sons dating a woman that old. I remember that. He married her.

My dad would talk about relatives and how they were doing. This man married to an older woman and his wife have had quite a bit of financial hardship. My dad has mentioned it a few times over the years when he talks about how relatives are doing.

I know another man, someone I grew up with, who had a fiance several years older than he is. She kept breaking up with him and getting back with him, breaking his heart. Eventually, they broke up and he married another woman about five years older than he is. She was really grumpy toward him when I was around. One time he said before we took a photo, "Act like you like me." I know he used pot when he was young and I believe that is one of the factors that contributed toward her leaving him. She'd sex-starved him for at least a couple of years before divorcing him, completely cutting him off.

Maybe there is an older wife in some of the other couples I've met. I don't usually ask. But based on my observations, that's not the case.

It could be that this cricket star was a little undisciplined and unstable and his older wife brought him some stability, focus, or motivation he needed. That doesn't mean wives should be older. Biologically, it makes sense if wives are younger. Men can have children later in life. It makes sense if a man in his late 20's or early 30's marries a prime-child-bearing age woman in her late teens or early 20's. He can build a house or build up some financial reserves before marriage. A younger woman who comes from her father's house might just submit to her husband if he is a bit older, providing she was submissive and respectful toward her father and well-trained. Some people say that a woman's sex drive peaks in her 30's. That may be true for some, but I think they have more energy for it in their 20's. It's just easier to get tired in one's 30's and 40's. Some men might not care, but if a man has a high sex drive, marrying a younger woman can have some benefits on that front. There are a lot of reasons in favor of the woman being younger. Most traditional societies seem to prefer the man to be older.

I hadn't heard of India having a tradition of the wife being older. In Korea, wives could be older during certain periods of their history. Apparently, Mongols wanted to cart off the virgins and leave the married women in Korea. So Koreans would marry off the girls fast, sometimes marrying off a 16 or 18-year-old girl to a 10-year-old boy if they could to keep the Mongols from taking them away. If wives were scarce, there was motivation for Korean parents to secure a bride for their son, too. That's weird, but those boys probably had some interesting teenage years.