Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Gina Holmes is the founder of Novel Rocket. Her debut, Crossing Oceans, became a bestseller and was a Christy and Gold Medallion finalist and winner of the Carol Award, INSPY, and RWA’s Inspirational Reader’s Choice. Her sophomore novel, Dry as Rain, was a Christy Award Finalist as well as an ECPA bestseller . Her upcoming release, Wings of Glass releases this February. To learn more about her, visit www.ginaholmes.com.

Keep an Open Hand

After years of attending writers
conferences, I was shocked to have an editor of a large publishing house ask to
meet with me. She had my manuscript in hand and had offered up some editorial
suggestions to make the manuscript stronger. Before I agreed to take a look, I
felt it my duty to divulge the fact that I was likely going to be going with
another publishing house.

She blinked at me a few times, then got
to work explaining why she thought the changes she suggested would make the
book better. At the end of the conversation, I told her that the other
publisher was interested in buying the book on a partial, something she wasn’t
willing to do. She then went on to say, “Gina, it doesn’t matter if we’re the
ones who publish you, we just want to see you published. You’ve done so much
for other writers over the years that we’re all rooting for your success.”

That’s the law of reciprocity at work, or as we prefer to
call it, the open hand theory.

"One of the most potent of
the weapons of influence around us is the rule for reciprocation. The rule says
that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided
us." Robert B. Cialdini, author of The Psychology of Persuasion (William
Morrow, 2006)

You can read books like How to Win Friends and Influence People
(Dale Carnegie), The above mentioned, Psychology
of Persuasion, The Tap (Frank
McKinney), and others, but I think it comes down to a pretty simple concept: By
keeping an open hand, you’re allowing blessings to flow in, and out.

We’ve all read the story of the
monkey trap. Folklore suggests that if you put a tasty treat inside a container
with a hole just big enough for the monkey to slide its hand into, but not big
enough for it to get it out once his fist is clenched, the monkey will allow
itself to be killed or captured before he will let go of the treat. We writers
can be a lot like monkeys.

So often we have ideas, talents or resources that would
benefit others, but our natural inclination seems to be hiding these away for
ourselves. Great phrases, marketing ideas, you name it. Our selfish self
whispers, “Don’t share that, it’s valuable information. Do you want everyone
doing it? It will lose its originality, it’s value.”

Christians, Jews and other faiths adhere to the principle of
tithing. The Bible says in Malachi 3:10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough
food in my Temple. If you do," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies, "I
will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great
you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!” New Living Translation

When you don’t tighten your fist around the prize, you leave
it open for others to take, and for others to give. If you want to be a
successful author, heck, a successful anything, you’re going to need some help
from others. In return, you’re going to need to help others.

Now available for pre-order.

On the cusp of adulthood, eighteen-year-old Penny Carson is swept off her feet by a handsome farmhand with a confident swagger. Though Trent Taylor seems like Prince Charming and offers an escape from her one-stop-sign town, Penny’s happily-ever-after lasts no longer than their breakneck courtship. Before the ink even dries on their marriage certificate, he hits her for the first time. It isn’t the last, yet the bruises that can’t be seen are the most painful of all.When Trent is injured in a welding accident and his paycheck stops, he has no choice but to finally allow Penny to take a job cleaning houses. Here she meets two women from very different worlds who will teach her to live and laugh again, and lend her their backbones just long enough for her to find her own.

Thanks Jessica! I have Tyndale House to thank for both. My title was going to be The Prey and the Mighty. But Wings of Glass has a nicer ring I think. This book is the dearest to my heart of the 3 I have. I can't wait for folks to read it.

Great post, Gina. And even after getting published, that same philosophy should hold. Too many times people do exactly what you have described--held onto something that they should have shared or excluded people who could benefit from participating in fellowship.

Thanks Nicole. The feeling's mutual. Carrie, I know what you mean. I'm guilty myself of trying to hold something. I'm constantly reminding myself to keep an open hand. The blessing is always greater than when I clench :)

Thanks for sharing that message. Sometimes, it may be hard for us to share valuable writing information, tips, marketing techniques, etc. However, the Lord wants us to help others, and, in return, we'll receive help from others. Heck, it's a win-win situation! :-)

From the first day we met (and you thought I was totally insane) you believed in the open hand. You've extended it to me more times than I can count, and mine opened in response. Thanks, G, for a life lesson that stuck. Love you!

Well, I'll join the chorus. I love helping writers improve their ability to communicate. I've always believed in the open hand. If your hand is closed in a fist, God can't put any other blessings in it. When I learned not only to be grateful for what I already had, but to share it in whatever way I could, God's blessings fell (or is it just that I recognized them more?).

I read and enjoy every post, and especially wanted to comment on this one. I'm hearing about the open hand everywhere ... on Edie Melson's blog, as well as posts by Seth Godin and Jeff Goins, and now here. I love it because I get afraid when I'm competing, sure I'll lose. Open handedness changes the game to everyone wins. Feels much safer. Thanks for the reminder, the encouragement, and the example.

Isn't it funny when we get the same message over and over? The third time is usually when I think this is more than just coincidence. So glad you got something out of this. I went through the same struggle but I'll tell you, the more open my hand, no matter how it looks at the time, the more I am blessed!