Humor-Satire: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

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Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

The GOP governors are worried about the dogs that Rush and Trump let out in the yard with the whole secession thing...

Let's let All the GOP gov's speak for themselves.....

In a statement released to the Dallas Morning News, spokeswoman Catherine Frazier wrote:

Gov. Perry believes in the greatness of our Union and nothing should be done to change it. But he also shares the frustrations many Americans have with our federal government.

As reported by BayouBuzz, Jindal dismissed the petition, telling NOLA.com, “We are proud to be part of the greatest country in the history of the world. Whatever our political differences, we are American first."

Alabama Governor Robert Bentley came out on Tuesday and said through a spokesman, “Governor Bentley believes in one nation under God. While there is frustration with the federal government, Governor Bentley believes that states can be great laboratories of change.

the online Huffington Post quotes Nikki Haley, the Republican Governor of South Carolina saying, “Didn’t we try that once before? I love this country. I’m going to fight for this country. I’m going to do everything I can for this country, and this country is going to be great.”

South Carolina did try seceding once before. On Christmas Eve, 1860

these are quotes from the American Standard, One of the most conservative online media sources out there.

"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Originally Posted by BostonPirate

yes...lol

Put them back in the America collumn

WOuld that be kind of like a fifth column?

"Thirty-one* states allow all qualified citizens to carry concealed weapons. In those states, homosexuals should embark on organized efforts to become comfortable with guns, learn to use them safely and carry them. They should set up Pink Pistols task forces, sponsor shooting courses and help homosexuals get licensed to carry. And they should do it in a way that gets as much publicity as possible. "

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

You are gonna keep this up, aren't you? And I have already told you we have a Texas Navy.
Located in San Antonio on the San Antonio River during the Fiesta de San Antonio.

You also forgot a Battleship (which is very sadly no longer sea worthy and would probably bankrupt the nation trying to make it so) and about a half dozen ferries.

“Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud, His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing the members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.” Mitt Romney

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

& just think W could run for president again! Of Texas! Over Perrys dead body, but then W could send "brokeback" Rick hunting with V P Dick Cheney. Wy, OK, ID,MS could leave too, who'd miss 'em?

BP: Better watch out, the Texas Navy might "up anchor" the old battleship Texas (built, 1912) the museum in Houston. Her 16 inchers could reach your place in Boston, from near P-Town or the harbor, if they didn't blow up upon firing!! Could you handle 16 inchers? By the way, I'll take you up on that lap offer, LOL

I used to go climb over that ship every chance I got as a kid. I loved her, paid into the last big fund raising program to overhaul her as she was sinking back in the 80s or 90s I think. I heard that she has bottomed out and is no longer safe to go below decks, what a shame. I'd love to see her rebuilt and made seaworthy again but I fear it would cost less to build a whole new replica of her.

“Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud, His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing the members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.” Mitt Romney

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Originally Posted by Stardreamer

I used to go climb over that ship every chance I got as a kid. I loved her, paid into the last big fund raising program to overhaul her as she was sinking back in the 80s or 90s I think. I heard that she has bottomed out and is no longer safe to go below decks, what a shame. I'd love to see her rebuilt and made seaworthy again but I fear it would cost less to build a whole new replica of her.

I see you're in Colorado, but did you live in Texas as a kid?

BEWARE! Harassing the Indian may result in sudden and severe hair loss.

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Originally Posted by White Eagle

Don't quote me, but, I think it is set in concrete.

She wasn't the last time I saw her which was years ago but they did weld a set of pylons to the sides to help support her. I had heard recently that the deterioration below the water line had reached a point where it was no longer safe.

“Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud, His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing the members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.” Mitt Romney

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Yep Texas boy born and raised. Will always have a place in my heart though I admit living by mountains has grown on me.

“Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud, His promises are as worthless as a degree from Trump University. He’s playing the members of the American public for suckers: He gets a free ride to the White House, and all we get is a lousy hat.” Mitt Romney

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Originally Posted by Stardreamer

She wasn't the last time I saw her which was years ago but they did weld a set of pylons to the sides to help support her. I had heard recently that the deterioration below the water line had reached a point where it was no longer safe.

We had driven by it, never went in. I could be very wrong about the cement.

BEWARE! Harassing the Indian may result in sudden and severe hair loss.

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

what would hurt the Federal Government more is if a Blue state were to cede since they give more to the government in taxes than they receive, but seeing how red states are typically poorer, they are dependent on the government they hate. so ppl in texas are not simply ungrateful, they are stupid and ungrateful. i say cut them loose.

Re: Obama responds to Texas secession with offer of assistance

Originally Posted by Kulindahr

If Texas leaves, the Pacific Northwest should join with British Columbia and form Cascadia, while California could go back to being the Bear Republic.

as a Washington resident im not so sure i would want erase the border with bc. lest we have a million canasians moving south and not just visiting on the weekends whilst giggling at the 'stupid Americans'.

its bad enough we get hicks from alaska and pretenteous OSU fans from Oregon.