I arrived in Richmond on Sunday 27th Nov to start our campaign, although my agent Jason Chinnery, ‘Chinners’ our Minister for Spinning and Bouncing, had already done most of the footwork, getting the nomination papers signed and paving the way for a wonderful sense of camaraderie between us and the electors. Chinners is a local, he knows everybody.

On the Monday, St George of Rideon, our candidate from Gloucester arrived for a day or two, we went canvassing the streets laughing and joking with anybody who he could get to listen. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, pity he couldn’t stay longer.

Wednesday, O B Joyful and Lawd Lawson arrived, so we toured the constituency in his battle bus, with loudhailer at the ready, bringing lots of smiles to peoples faces.

Thursday, we held our Victory Party in the ‘Triple Crown’ thanks to Harvey the landlord, usually this would be on the Wednesday but circumstances made this difficult, so Thurs it was. A fine line up of entertainment was had by all.

‘The Big Fibbers’ started the show, followed by ‘Chris Dowling’ and ‘Whats Next’, then ‘The Mojo Crew’, ‘Linda Landers’ did a guest spot, as did the Howling ‘Laud’ and – The Teenage Kicker – ‘Chinners’. By now ‘The Flying Brick’ had arrived from Derbyshire and others ready for the count to be held that very same evening. So after a night of raucous Rock’n’Roll of we went,
Myself, The Brick, Knigel Knapp, OB and the Lawd, Yvonne Elwood, Lib Dem Dave and Chinners.

“Never mind Zac…Now you know how we feel.. “

The count was the usual good fun, Flying and Howling getting up to their usual tricks, with the worlds cameras flashing all over the place, when we made our grand entrance. Once again thanks to Chinners for all his hard work and endeavour, a fine job he did. And of course to ‘Punk Rock Harvey’ the landlord, who gave us the use of his premises and the 184 voters who got it right.

Phew, a couple of days back home, then off again on Sunday up to Sleaford Lincolnshire for another by-election on Thurs 8th. Supporting our candidate ‘The Iconic Arty Pole’. Watch for more news!!!

The first being in Richmond Park, Middlesex, the seat vacated by Zac Goldsmith, only to put himself up again. A bit of egoism here one would think. He was against the 3rd runway at Heathrow. This election will be on Thurs Dec 1st, our candidate is none other than our party leader, Howling ‘Laud’ Hope.

He will be campaigning in Richmond, taking up residence as from Sunday 27th Nov til Fri 2nd Dec. His Party HQ is at ‘The Hope’ public house, 115-117 Kew Road Richmond TW9 2PN.

There will be a ‘Victory Party’ on Wed, the night before in ‘The Triple Crown’ 15 Kew Foot Rd, Richmond TW9 2SS, all the other candidates will be invited, Zac Goldsmith cant wait, apparently. See y’all there, it will be good fun!

Sleaford, Lincolnshire

The second being in Sleaford, Lincolnshire, a seat vacated by Stephen Phillips. He wouldn’t toe the party line on ‘Teresa Mays’ Brexit arrangements. So our ever popular, Sir Arty Pole will be our candidate. He lives in the constituency next door, is very well known in the area, and could, (will) rather, pull of a surprise result. Election date being Thurs 8th Dec. The Howling ‘Laud’ will be in Sleaford as from the Sun 4th til Fri 9th Dec in support. Once again, see y’all there, for some more fun !

Anybody who wants to join in, be of help, at either of these elections, or just be there and meet us, are most welcome.

“The Official Monster Raving Loony Party would like to congratulate Donald Trump and his independent Republican party on their victory today in winning the USA presidential election.

As a result of this, we now issue notice of a retraction for our offer to give Mr Trump membership of our party due to the obvious conflict of interests that this result has caused. We cannot have party members who are actually capable of winning sutch an election”

This by-election was caused by mysterious disappearance of No. 10’s Cheshire Cat David Cameron. So who better to replace him than Alisdair De Voil from Oxford, ‘The Mad Hatter’, who shouted “this is my tea party”, checked his watch, and made a dash for the nomination.

Our party leader Howling Laud arrived in Witney to support him a couple of days before the election, and was caught up in a film about ‘Political Party Leaders of Great Britain.’

‘The Mad Hatter’, Howling and Mark Stokes, a party activist from Shrivenham, toured the constituency mostly talking in French when they couldn’t remember what they were meant to be saying in English and supping from bottles that said “drink me!”. They ended up in a very nice public house called The New Inn, where they did seven impossible things just before breakfast.

Congratulations to The Mad Hatter for increasing his vote by 100% and coming 8th out of 14 candidates. We always knew it would be a tough Constituency, but it seems we are catching up fast with the Greens and Ukip who despite all their media attention, still only have one more M.P than us.

The night of the Count saw the arrival of the party faithful, ‘Nick the Flying Brick’, RU Seerius, Lady Helenbak, Chinners, and local supporters, George, Tom & Jerry.

As usual cameras were snapping. There was a great atmosphere at the Counting Hall with very friendly banter between candidates and all supporters.

Back to our candidate, didn’t he do well, 129 votes, coming 8th out of fourteen, and a big round of applause for all his efforts was heard around the hall.

We all agreed afterwards that it was a great success, and we’re quite looking forward to whenever and wherever the next one may be. Once again plaudits to ‘The Mad Hatter’ he did us proud, and thanks to Julian Bones the landlord of The Old Court Hotel for all his help and everybody else who voted for us.

Our Blackpool conference and Howling Laud’s record as the longest serving party leader of all time was covered in the Star Courier. They report that Howling Laud has seen off ‘the dirty dozen’ William Hague, Ian Duncan Smith, Michael Howard, David Cameron, Paddy Ashdown, Charles Kennedy, Menzies Campbell, Nick Clegg, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband, Nigel Farage and Dianne James!