Spring Fever

Spring is that wonderful time of year when the sun begins to warm, tops reveal more midriff and skirts get a little shorter. Life is renewed and the world is a flurry of energy once again. Spring is a time when every cubic inch of air seems to be flush with hormones and pheromones zipping around at near supersonic speeds, causing spring fever. We’re sure that, just as you do every year, you’ve noticed a certain change in demeanor, a shift in attitudes and a change in perceptions during winter’s thaw. What you are noticing is that everyone has come down with a case of spring fever.

A remnant of our evolutionary ancestry, spring fever is a subconscious, instinctive condition wherein the wont of reproduction looms large in life’s big picture. Luckily for us, we can thwart unwanted offspring for as little as a dollar, making this little evolutionary cycle known as spring fever a perfect opportunity to make your mark. Dust off your Darwin and pay attention to the subtle cues that signal a case of spring fever.

Be bold

In this magical time of year there is a unique culmination of forces that actually makes women the aggressor. You can actually throw your own lure out there and let them hook themselves. The combination of the ancient condition of spring fever and the modern notion of gender equality and latent feminism has created one of the most potent cocktails for securing a one-night stand — and it’s more powerful than the tried-and-true cosmopolitan. Take advantage of spring fever and use a bolder approach to try to get her to touch you affectionately. With so many hormones zipping around in her head, she will be more receptive to approaches that would, under normal circumstances, certainly fail.

A classic example of this phenomenon, albeit a bit high school in its delivery, is to make a playful statement about the size of her hands. Perhaps they are too small, possibly freakishly small. When she defends this most unusual of playful assaults, suggest that you compare your own hand size to hers. While it’s completely irrelevant to the comment you’ve just made, it does give her the open door to be the aggressor and touch your hands. Once that initial ice is broken, she will be more apt to follow her instincts, even if she doesn’t know it. Spring-fever success belongs to the bold.

Frequent active environments

What hibernation is to winter, a flurry of energy is to spring. And location is as important to a successful spring-fever catch as it is to real estate. In winter, when energy reserves are low, you might seek out a pickup in a cave — or in the modern equivalent, a dank bar. Of course, that dank bar is less likely to be populated with the target du saison when your energy reserves are high. Instead, you’ll want to find places where activity is the name of the game. Boardwalks, parks, the gym, and beaches are all examples of areas that become populated with women when the sun comes out and people’s energy levels are high. The rule of thumb is that if there are ways to exert oneself in the sun, take a look there.