A female perspective on the Autistic Spectrum, Mental Illness and everything else….

There is absolutely not any solution to this issue.

I was thinking about our option of being open with a diagnosis of Asperger or any form of Autism or not disclosing it to others. Either way, we will somewhat have to face negative judgments and potential punishments for our traits. Scenario one – Be open and honest about a diagnosis, discuss your needs with places you go to in relation to education, work, healthcare, social care etc. This has resulted in me getting judged, being criminalised and losing my only child. They go on about letting places know whether you have additional needs so that support can be provided, but in reality, the support is most likely extra stress that makes autistic symptoms worse. There is too much focus on the health and safety side. Autism is seen as a potential danger in regards to that side of things. The balance of the scales of health and safety versus support is certainly tipped in an unfavorable angle for those of us on the spectrum. Those of us diagnosed as adults get effectively thrown on the scrap heap due to not receiving the early intervention that children get nowadays (it wasn’t like that when I was at school). There are some children that have Autism and especially the ones with Asperger’s Syndrome, that can almost be cured and live a normal life because they’ve had it caught at an early age before the brain stops growing. It can be rewired for them depending on what part of the spectrum that they are on. Those children are normally the fortunate ones who have parents that are right for them. We aren’t all that lucky and most of us diagnosed as adults didn’t have the right type of parents. I wouldn’t be honest about my condition if I could go back and redo everything that has happened. I wouldn’t allow others to make those prejudgements about me. Unless you are severely Autistic, then I would encourage everyone not to open up to anyone. Others may seem decent professionally and even on a personal level. But, if it’s in an official capacity, they will have to report anything that is to do with someone’s needs to their employer. This means that your business will end up everyone else’s knowledge. There are even some that may even give it all that behind your back to friends of theirs too. On a personal, everyday level, it opens you up to bullying from many people that you encounter in your daily life. You’ll get people using you for things like money or making spiteful remarks because they know it will make you feel inferior and they’ll get some kind of kick out of it.

We also can’t win when we do not disclose our condition. I have noticed that people change towards me when they know of my diagnosis when they’ve appeared to have accepted me before. However, if you do not tell others then you act weird they could still judge you. Whether or not you disclose why you could still experience the above because of others judgments. So, the harsh reality is that either option you chose is going to lead to painful experiences. There will be many people you like that you’ll lose because they cannot take parts of your Autism and judge those parts in a really negative light. Most of the people that you lose will be those that you really want to keep in your life because your Autism comes out more if you feel at ease with another person at any point. It can be a heartbreaking existence and to be completely honest I do not see myself ever having a partner. It wouldn’t work out because I show my Autism too much when I like another. There has never been anyone that has stayed when I’ve shown it. I’ve never really wanted a partner anyway because I’ve got so used to being on my own and never really been fed up with my own company. I don’t get lonely anymore. I used to a few years ago but I got over that.