Romantic’s heart is bruised by end of long relationship

DEAR ABBY: A great man once said, "A life without love is no life at all." So many people find love in so many ways, either through arranged marriages or at social events, school or college.

I have always been a hopeless romantic, but since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me.

I know people say when it happens you will know, but my question is: How do you really KNOW? And when that time does ever come, how do you prepare your heart for love after a tragic loss?

- Trying to go on

DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends - ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.

The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live more than 1,000 miles away from our family. When our relatives fly out to visit us, should we feel obligated to let them use one of our cars to travel/tour while they are here? (Money is not an issue.) In most cases, they may be on the other side of the state for several days, leaving my husband and me to share a car. It is an inconvenience because my husband and I leave for work at different times.

However, this isn't my only concern. Will insurance cover our car if they have an accident in it?

When we visit them, we drive their car within city limits only, and when it's convenient for them. Please reply ASAP because they're coming here soon.

- Stressed out in Colorado

DEAR STRESSED OUT: Because money is not an issue, I assume that your relatives can afford to rent a car during their visit. The same rules should apply to them that apply to you in a similar situation. Your car should be for your own convenience, since you and your husband need transportation to work.

As to the insurance liability should someone have an accident while driving your vehicle, the person to ask is your insurance broker.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until AFTER their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.

I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions BEFORE a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding?

- Curious in Kansas City

DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a POSTnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.