Why Corrie's got to win at the NTAs, or I'm going on a hotpot-based rampage

If EastEnders win Best Serial Drama on Wednesday, I will do something drastic. Like admit I still sometimes watch Hollyoaks

Give the woman a prize. More than anything, it might make her smile and we don't see that enough

Corrie has a history of doing badly at awards ceremonies and I have a theory about why. It's because they're the shy guys of soap; the telly equivalent of the man in your office who doesn't shout about how great he is, because he's just a decent bloke, versus that div in the corner who's always shouting his mouth off with his AMAZING stories and FUNNY jokes.

Alright, so EastEnders isn't a div, but it is a little... showy for my soap tastes. Yeah, I cried over Kat's affair. I will happily admit that Jo Joyner can make me sob into my spaghetti (messy) on a regular basis. And obviously
I gasped when Kirsty Branning turned up, because that was a brilliant soap moment, and everyone loves a brilliant soap moment.

But EastEnders can never, ever compare to my beloved Corrie, and yet when it comes to awards ceremonies, I have seen Ian Beale on way too many stages, whooping with Dot and the Masoods while Tyrone and Fiz are forced to mutter under their breath as they do a Joey Tribbiani polite clap to camera.

This time though, it can't happen. As well as doing everything it normally does well - is there any soap friendship out there as longlasting as Gail and Sally's? Any girl chat more realistic than the ones Carla and Michelle have over (another) large Merlot? Any comedy dialogue played out better than Mary's? - Corrie has upped the ante in a big way lately.

That's mostly thanks to Natalie Gumede. If she doesn't walk away with that newcomers' award for her performance as Tyrone's nearly-wife Kirsty, I may consider doing something extreme. You know, like going on a hotpot-based rampage. Or cutting my Hollyoaks viewing down from 'occasional, don't tell anyone' to 'never, like I actually tell people it is'.

But it goes wider than the domestic violence storyline. Alison King's performances earlier in the year were so perfectly executed that they led to me having more than one heated wine-fuelled row over the quality of TV acting v film, which may have got more serious than any row over Corrie should ever get. But seriously, do Hollywood casting agents KNOW about Alison King?

BBC

"We've not won an NTA, ok?"

I could go on listing the strength of storylines this year - oh I really could, just ask my friends - but it would be a little boring for those of you that don't care as much about Kylie and David as I do (Nick is by far the inferior brother, Kylie, the man speaks entirely in cliches), or who don't find the Corrie theme tune so soothing, they like to describe it as 'a bit like a lullaby'. Come on though, it really is like a lullaby.

Basically, I love Coronation St. And if it doesn't win Best Serial Drama on Wednesday night - and I see so much as one Branning legging it towards that stage holding the bottom of their dress to stop it trailing on the floor - then the NTAs have made a serious error. Unless they just happened to see a lot of episodes of Corrie with Stella in. In which case... yeah, I can see how that might have happened.