PESHAWAR, Pakistan (Reuters) - The Afghan Taliban said on Tuesday they had called off peace talks with U.S. officials in Qatar this week due to an "agenda disagreement," especially over the involvement of Afghan officials as well as a possible ceasefire and prisoner exchange.

The Afghan Taliban may have shown up in the United Arab Emirates for a confab with an extremely conciliatory United States this week, the militant group has a clear message for the Afghan officials who joined the U.S. special peace envoy: F--k your couch.

Your friendly Pentagon correspondent had a great idea for this Run-Down: Drinking too much coffee and eating MREs with chili and other spicy entrees can leave service members with hemorrhoids that sing louder than Beyonce.

The Taliban has lost a top commander to an ISIS suicide bomber who attacked a meeting between jihadists and village leaders in northern Afghanistan, local officials told the Associated Press — a setback for peace efforts amid the Taliban’s push for talks with both the Afghan government and the United States military.