Here are a few I grew up with-
He's one fry short of a happy meal.
When we were in front of the TV-Your daddy ain't a winder maker! (Said by Dad)
It's colder than a witches t-t in a brass bra!
(If dinner filled you up)-You sure ruined my appetite!
I know where you sleep....
Don't let your alligator mouth over ride your hummingbird butt.
Never try to teach a pig to sing, all you do is waste your time, and annoy the pig.
I gave you life, I can take it back!
Stop painting me with her/his brush.
Engage brain, before starting mouth.
That smells so bad, it would knock a buzzard off a s--t wagon.
I have one nerve left, and you're on it!
It's so ugly, it would make a freight train take a dirt road.
And, my all time favorite, "Jesus H. Christ!" Usually said by my father, when he found something else, that us kids should not have done! (sorry if it offends, and I still don't know what the H stands for.)
Can't tell my family is from Texas and Kentucky can you? LMBO!
:lol:

"The bigger the hair, the closer to God!"
"Diarhea of the mouth and constipation of the mind"
"You're full of prunes!"
What's for dinner? "pig poop and dandilions!"
"Geez Louise!"
"He's so ugly, he has to sneak up on water to get a drink!"

My Grandmother always said "your eyes are bigger than your stomach' meaning I put too much on my plate, and "don't spit in the wind" if I complained about someone.
The sayings in this thread sure bring back a lot of memories. Thank you to everyone who shared.

I told my kids 'I'll slap you so hard your kids will be born dizzy. They didn't think it was too funny.My MIL used to say-A mule can only do what a mule can do.Like it or lump it- was another I told my kids. My DH's favorite is -between a rock and a hard place.