Path 2

15 Questions You Should Never Ask Anyone, Ever

February 3, 2011

There is such a thing as a bad question. Some things just don’t need to be said. Or asked. The following 15 inquiries are, at best, inane conversational placeholders demonstrating lack of creativity and inaneness. At worst, they will encourage anger, retaliation, and, possibly, someone to try to kill you. Conversations are important. Know where you tread dangerously, and we guarantee better friendships and fewer stabbing glances, or stabbings. Let us know if we missed anything.

15. So, how’s that working out for you?

14. How ’bout them _____?

These are waste-of-conversational-space questions that mean you actually have nothing to say. Think of something interesting, or keep your mouth shut.

13. Will you taste this rotten _____ for me? It’s especially gross!

12. How long can a person survive on a diet of human excrement?

These questions are yucky.

11. Is Charlie Sheen, like, your personal hero? Related: When are you going to finally give up and go to rehab?

10. Have you lost, like, a ton of weight?

9. Are you pregnant? Related: When’s the baby due? There is no baby? You’re…kidding?

8. If you don’t mind me asking, ____________?

These questions are rude.

7. Hi! You’ve lost all of your belongings/loved ones/money/life’s work in [fill in tragic event]. How do you feel about that?