On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.' (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)==========================

On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.' (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) ========================

On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.' (Oh my..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

The Perfect Password

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer. At the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now have to enter a password. something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...P E N I SHis wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: PASSWORD DENIED - NOT LONG ENOUGH

BEER ADVISORY

Health Advisory:

"Beer contains female hormones, and canturn men into women.After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable,irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"