Post by Arch Stanton on Jun 20, 2019 12:05:08 GMT

Graveyard Shift 2

Another absolute stinker! Saw it back in the day (late 80s).Quite possibly the worst vampire film I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen lots of em.My over-riding memories at the time were that I’d watched Graveyard Shift 1 and honestly thought they couldn’t possibly make another vampire film as bad as that was.How wrong I was!My three over riding memories of GS2 is that it was prententious, overly dark (filming) and really, REALLY dull.Nothing happens iirc. Not one person getting bitten. Nothing.

Do not get this confused with the Stephen King Graveyard Shift movie From 1990 in the saw mill with the big rat monster - that was actually quite good.

Post by fordcapri on Jun 20, 2019 12:12:03 GMT

Star Trek: Nemesis.

Words fail me. The only film I can remember watching where I was looking at my watch every five minutes. I almost gave up living at least 25 times during this snorefest. Can't say more than that as I have expunged it from my memory. Just one word of warning if you are tempted to watch it... Don't.

Although it isn't out yet, I'd be willing to bet that the new Banana Splits film will be awful in every possible way.

"What are you two, some kind of music hall act?""Whatever we are...""...you made us!""TA-DAA!!"

Post by artyboy1973 on Jun 20, 2019 22:05:09 GMT

One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen was when I used to watch the Horror Channel. They showed an Irish horror movie called The Inside. This was utter garbage as all it was were a group of annoying women screaming non stop throughout the film and shaky camera work much like the Blair witch project. All the film gave me was a bad migraine headache. It was utter cr*p. Sheesh!

Post by Arch Stanton on Jun 20, 2019 23:41:38 GMT

One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen was when I used to watch the Horror Channel. They showed an Irish horror movie called The Inside. This was utter garbage as all it was were a group of annoying women screaming non stop throughout the film and shaky camera work much like the Blair witch project. All the film gave me was a bad migraine headache. It was utter cr*p. Sheesh!

Sounds terrible Arty.I thought the same thing about Cloverfield. It only scraped through the full entirety of its run time in my player by the skin of its teeth.

Post by westldner on Jun 21, 2019 4:01:29 GMT

That trailer is just being nice. The movie was shockingly awful when I saw it for free on my trial of Amazon Prime. Really. It's really hard to believe Barry Pepper gave away his fame considering he has appeared in his previous three films, Saving Private Ryan, Enemy of the State and The Green Mile for this. Made him behave like an ape in this movie.

Post by Arch Stanton on Jun 21, 2019 7:13:03 GMT

Highlander 2 was a waste of celluloid. I thought that was a terrible film when it came out.

Abomination (1986). That was bad. Really bad. It’s about this mutant tumour this old biddy sicks up and it grows massive and hides in this redneck’s kitchen cupboards and tells him to kill people, like little shop of horrors, at least as far as I remember.With lots of gore and a plot like that you’d think it would be a sure fire winner but sadly not the case. It’s totally inept.It does have one memorable scene, where he is trepanning someone with a chainsaw and the chainsaw cuts out half way through the job, so he has to kick start the chainsaw and when he does the top of his victims head comes flying off and all this grue pours out. A truly rubbish film.

Has anyone seen the Canadian horror Things, or Garbage Pail Kids The Movie?

Post by ltd on Jun 21, 2019 17:12:30 GMT

'Alien vs Predator: Requiem' is incredibly dark as well. You can barely make out what is happening on screen. You might as well watch it with a bag over your head.

I think that would actually improve the experience.

Funny Arch mentioning the Graveyard Shift films - I remember renting both of those back in the early 90s. They'd had decent reviews in some quarters (possibly from our chum Dandy Dandruff) and I was expecting something stylish along the lines of Near Dark. What I got was a couple of overblown pop videos of the type then cropping up on MTV, only without the narrative coherence. I wonder if they're out on DVD? Ok, no I don't.

Mentioned this one before, Call of the Hunter (2009). Dismal low budget escapade centred around the titular figure of legend. Starts off quite promisingly but soon dissolves in to a morass of am-dram style acting, a script that's all over the place and the most inappropriate horror film soundtrack I've ever heard. Herne likes to announce his arrival with a fanfare of lumpen 80s style plod rock. Who'd have thought it? I think I preferred him when he was into Clannad. The cast does feature one Jonathan Hansler who is seen to much better effect in The Devil's Business - now that's a low budget film I can heartily recommend.

Post by Arch Stanton on Jun 21, 2019 17:29:54 GMT

'Alien vs Predator: Requiem' is incredibly dark as well. You can barely make out what is happening on screen. You might as well watch it with a bag over your head.

I think that would actually improve the experience.

Funny Arch mentioning the Graveyard Shift films - I remember renting both of those back in the early 90s. They'd had decent reviews in some quarters (possibly from our chum Dandy Dandruff) and I was expecting something stylish along the lines of Near Dark. What I got was a couple of overblown pop videos of the type then cropping up on MTV, only without the narrative incoherence. I wonder if they're out on DVD? Ok, no I don't.

Mentioned this one before, Call of the Hunter (2009). Dismal low budget escapade centred around the titular figure of legend. Starts off quite promisingly but soon dissolves in to a morass of am-dram style acting, a script that's all over the place and the most inappropriate horror film soundtrack I've ever heard. Herne likes to announce his arrival with a fanfare of lumpen 80s style plod rock. Who'd have thought it? I think I preferred him when he was into Clannad. The cast does feature one Jonathan Hansler who is seen to much better effect in The Devil's Business - now that's a low budget film I can heartily recommend.

You’ve definitely nailed those Graveyard Shift films. Same reason I saw and rented em.. Probably was Dandy Dandruff that recommended them, the flaky old c**k.

Post by westldner on Jun 21, 2019 22:00:03 GMT

Totally agree on 'Highlander 2' I had forgotten that travesty. Good call Arch.

Yes Highlander 2 was pants.Such a disappointment after the first.

I have to see that to see it for myself, I wasn't sure why I went to watch Highlighter 4 or 5 which felt more like a sitcom then the first movie which maybe tried to save the 2nd movie. I remember they placed an Asian guy in there in an office, sword-fighting. They made him sound rhetoric, maybe to make the movie more multi-cultural to get Asian people watching into it to make them feel like they were part of the movie universe (which I find hard to believe because the first move had loads of multi-cultural elements) and maybe did that to widen the audience and he dies and that was it. Yep, they were still trying to get people in Highlighter during the 90s.

Post by Arch Stanton on Jun 23, 2019 9:50:28 GMT

I mentioned this above.I finally watched it again last night after about 30years.Awful film. Made only passable viewing if watching it for camp value with some mates, booze and takeaway.

Premise: A big hair rock band go to a ‘remote’ cabin/house and are picked off one by one by the demons that live there.All very Evil Dead like.Or at least it wishes it was...

This vanity project was written, produced and starring the Canadian ‘rock god’ Jon Mikl Thor.The special effects are utterly terrible, especially at the end where it is revealed that the lead monster responsible for all this evil is none other than Satan and that Thor isn’t really the lead singer of a band but the Archangel Triton sent to punish him!The fight that ensues is one of the most laughable that ever went straight to video, as Thor does battle with a 7 and a half foot puppet, bopping it’s rubber head.Pitiful. Even when watched for unintentional laughs.

There are only one or two FX in this that work, which tend to be masks. It had a budget of $50K but I have no idea what they spent it on?Some scenes drag out far too long, so they could bump up the running time, and even sex scenes are left to go on for ever, with the added downside being that they don’t actually feature any nudity.There are also several protracted rock numbers, sung by the bodybuilder/rock dummy Thor and his band The Tritonz.Allegedly they made this in 7 days. Which is about 6 and a half days too many for the end product.

Thor also made Zombie Nightmare with Adam West. Which was also rubbish iirc.

Post by Portland Road on Jun 24, 2019 9:08:41 GMT

Anyway, this was 1965 and nobody thought it was odd that a 29-year-old midget was in the Boy Scouts. Freddie, et al, are in The Cuckoo Patrol who go off to summer camp but get involved in some jolly japes on the way such as tag wrestling, armed robbery and meeting some Girl Guides (they looked in their 20's as well). Anyway Freddie and the lads solve all their problems and everyone lived happily ever after.

Quite simply the worst film I have ever seen.

….so in comparison, The Small Faces 'Dateline Diamonds' must be like 'Gone With The Wind'....

Post by bodiesstuntdouble on Jun 24, 2019 16:25:44 GMT

Have to agree with the inclusion of Cuckoo Patrol and I've got a Horse - painful from beginning to end. Freddie and the Dreamers were bell-ends anyway so seeing them dick about as unfunny 30 year old scouts was pretty much par for the course, but to see poor Billy Fury (arguably one of our best Rockers)in this toss was disappointing to say the least.

I'll also suggest One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing - the only time I've ever walked out of a cinema before the end - cack !