Sky-Byte: You’re a fool, Gas Skunk. You and the rest of your team are totally useless! It doesn’t take any brains to attack an unmaned freight car!

Gas Skunk: Shouldn’t you be in an aquarium somewhere?

Slapper: Well now, what do we have here? A moving target to practice on. What luck. Robot mode! Right laser! A strike, and right on the headpin!

Sky-Byte: Slapper, why do you waste time attacking these empty vessels? It accomplishes nothing. Instead of committing mindless destruction, you should be searching the planet for more energy to steal. I’ll have to take the initiative and launch the attack myself.

[Transition]

Dorrie Dutton: The Linear RFG, the World’s fastest bullet train, has just arrived at central station. We’re coming to you live to mark this historic occassion, the inaugural run of the World’s fastest transport system. Everything is controlled electronically from this space age command center. Decisions that used to involve human beings are now being carried out in a split second by a massive supercomputer.

Optimus: I’ll follow alongside the train. The rest of you, search the tracks up ahead for signs of what the Predacons might be planning. Let’s move out!

[Transition]

Sideburn: Well, I’m following the tracks but I don’t see anything suspicious. What are we looking for?

Prowl: Beats me. But knowing those Predacons I’m sure it’ll be lethal. Keep your eyes open. Koji’s on that train and might be in grave danger.

Sky-Byte: The humans think their new bullet train is totally safe, but I’m going to give them a surprise. Nothing is safe from me! When I’ve stolen the energy of the most powerful transport, Megatron will finally give me the respect I deserve.

Optimus: So far so good. I’d better get back to headquarters and make sure everything else is under control.

[Transition]

Gas Skunk: When this goes off it’ll really blow their minds! Ha, ha!

Prowl: All right, you two. Hold it right there. What are you up to?

Slapper: We just stopped by to fix some loose track, that’s all. You can never be too careful when it comes to track!

Sideburn: We found a couple of Predacons messing around with the tracks. We’ll give you an update in a few minutes.

Optimus: Roger.

Worker #1: What happened? Our data screen just blanked out!

Optimus: I’m sorry to intrude, gentleman, but we have an emergency situation on our hands.

Worker #2: Who’s that robot?

Worker #3: It’s Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots.

Optimus: It appears the Predacons are attempting to destroy the Linear RFG. There isn’t much time, you have to stop the train immediately!

Worker #4: There’s a problem, Optimus. Our entire control system’s gone down. We can’t even communicate with the train, much less stop it.

Worker #2: Is there anything you can do to help us resolve this situation?

Optimus: We’re dealing with the problem now. I’ll have to get back to you.

[Transition]

Dark Scream: I’ve wrecked their control system! There’s no way they’ll be able to contact that train now!

Optimus: Emergency alert. T-AI, activate the member select program.

T-AI: We need Team Bullet Train for this operation. Access database. Each one is on assignment. I’ll have to contact them individually. Let’s see… Railspike, Rapid Run and Midnight Express. There’s no time to bring them to headquarters, they’ll have to go right to the field. Command center to Railspike. This is an emergency. Report to Optimus Prime.

Railspike: On my way. Gentlemen, there’s an emergency and I have to leave at once. You’ll need a replacement engine. I’ll be in touch. Hyper Rail!

Worker #5: I don’t believe this!

T-AI: Rapid Run, we have an urgent mission. Report for field duty.

Rapid Run: Uh oh. This is gonna be trouble. I’m on a commuter line. You ever seen a mob of angry commuters?

Kelly: This is just what I needed, a nice peaceful train ride. I don’t have to fight that freeway traffic. Yeah… And the best part of it is… I can eat my breakfast on the way in!

T-AI: Rapid Run, this is an emergency.

Rapid Run: I hear ya loud and clear. I just have to drop 50,000 pounds and I’ll be on my way. There, that’s better. I am now available and reporting for duty!

Kelly: How am I supposed to get to work? My boss is never going to believe this story!

T-AI: Midnight Express, report to Optimus Prime. The Predacons are planning an attack. We need you now. What is your ETA?

Midnight Express: That all depends. If the tracks are clear, I can be there in eight hours. If I use the global space bridge, I can be there in thirty seconds!

[Transition]

Optimus: Good to see you, Team Bullet Train.

Rapid Run: I don’t know what was so urgent that we had to drop everything. It doesn’t look like there isn’t any action going on yet.

Railspike: It’s not our business to question orders. If T-AI says it’s an emergency, I take her at her word. Besides, Prime will fill us in as soon as we’re assembled.

Rapid Run: I’m just sayin’ I left a load of angry passengers back there in the tunnel.

Midnight Express: Well, gentlemen… What’s the problem?

Rapid Run: Are you all right, buddy? It sounds like you just ran the hundred mile dash with a clogged air filter.

Midnight Express: Don’t worry about me, I’m topped off and ready to go!

Rapid Run: You could have fooled me. I thought you were runnin’ on fuel!

Rapid Run: We were gonna come back and help you clean up the mess, but now it looks like somebody’s trying to mess around.

Railspike: Railspike, transform!

Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!

Midnight Express: Midnight Express, transform!

Megatron: You’re finished!

Rapid Run: Compression Injector!

Railspike: Powerstroke Missiles!

Midnight Express: Diesel Destructo Gun!

Megatron: Dragon Mode! Dual Comprehension Dragon Fire!

Railspike: We need some extra push.

Rapid Run: You know what that means! Time for a little cold fusion!

Railspike: All right, everybody ready?

All: Let’s do it! Bullet Fusion Mode!

Rail Racer: Triple Power! Rail Racer!

Sideburn: Wow, how come we can’t do that?

Prowl: I dunno… I think they’re double jointed.

Sideburn: Maybe they could teach us how to do it.

X-Brawn: I was never a good student.

Sideburn: Come to think of it, I wouldn’t wanna fuse with you guys anyway.

Megatron: Twin Dragon Breath!

Rail Racer: Super Turbo Punch! Fusion Laser Rifle! Scatter Blast!

Sky-Byte: Megatron, wait for me!

Optimus: Thanks a lot, Rail Racer.

Rail Racer: Sure. We just can’t stand lifeforms that blow up railroad tracks. We all take that very personally.

Railspike: Glad this all worked out for the best. We should get back to work.

Rapid Run: I was in the middle of a commuter haul. They didn’t seem to happy about the interruption. Maybe I can make up for the lost time.

Railspike: Remember though, safety first.

Midnight Express: I was about to haul a private wedding party. My word, I hope they haven’t taken their vows yet.

Rapid Run: See ya later, guys. Call us if ya need us.

Optimus: That’s one tough team. They really came through.

Lady on Train Intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate your patience during our short delay. Due to the timely and dynamic assistance of the Autobots, the Linear RFG will now complete its inaugural run.

Optimus: I’m glad we could help. We’ll always be there to protect the Earth and its inhabitants. No matter what the threat.