Across-the-Board (acrosstheboardblog.com)

This entertainment blog showcases crazy news, pictures, and celebrity gossip. Occasionally, I talk about my life as well. Consider it slapdash if you will, I prefer to describe my actions as... Across the Board. Updated whenever I feel like it.

According to Boulder police, a woman was driving near an intersection when she saw two men walking down the middle of the road. One of the men ran in front of her car, forcing her to stop, police said. She rolled down her window and asked him, "Did you want to get killed?" according to police.

That's when he reached in the window and tried to grab her chest, officers said. When she threatened to call authorities, police said he pitched the phone onto the pavement, leaned back into the window and began strangling the woman, whose name hasn't been released.

The woman began screaming for help, honking her horn and turning on her emergency flashers, police said. That prompted Disselhorst to let go of her throat, pull her out of her car and toss her onto the ground behind the vehicle, according to police. A driver in another car and several passers-by saw the incident as it was happening and stopped.

Disselhorst then stripped off all his clothes and ran away, along with the other man who was with him, police said.

New Trent Alert: 'Fast Food Feedbags'

Female reporter gets a 'live tv' surprise.

Man admits to killing his wife and says he doesn't know why

It took all of seven words for Matthew Gretz to seal his own fate. "I stabbed and intentionally killed my wife," Gretz, the husband of Minneapolis art student Kira Simonian, told Hennepin County District Judge Robert Blaeser on Monday.

The 33-year-old Minneapolis man originally had cast himself as the grieving husband who was as much a victim, a role he played to the hilt during a candlelight vigil after his wife's death. Then, the evidence mounted. Two months later, he was charged with murder.

Gretz, 33, pleaded guilty to second-degree intentional murder for stabbing Simonson about 15 times in the chest and neck and smashing her head with a hammer last June 28. According to the charges, Gretz chased Simonian around their south Minneapolis apartment during the bizarre and bloody attack, screaming, "Do you love me?"

Couple "divorced without their knowledge"

Meena Verma, a mother of two children, tried to file a case against her in-laws for violence, only to be told by a court in Haryana state that she had been divorced for a decade.

Her husband Virender, his brother, a lawyer, had apparently forged the divorce a decade earlier, when the couple were contemplating making a similar complaint. "It seems the divorce was doctored to defeat Meena's possible complaint," he said.

Police raided the cell Monday in a statewide crackdown on drug trafficking. He said Tuesday authorities have ordered an investigation of how of Genilson Lins da Silva got 280,000 reals ($173,000), two .38-caliber pistols and other amenities into his cell at the Bahia's Lemos Brito Penitentiary.

"So is a unicorn just a horse that has one horn sticking out of its head? Oh."

"I’d rather massage a chick with pudding."

"We’re getting a cat and we’re naming it taint."

"You should send her a text message and say that you want to rub her down with
applebutter"

"Never send a girl carnations unless you want her to say, 'Crap, I got
carnations.'"

"I've decided photos of girls on boats are sexier than photos of girls on the
beach."

"I’m worried that I’m going to run out of people to ask to be friends on Facebook."

"Eat it with your hands it's tomato-saucy!"

"I hate when movies try to make food visually stimulating."

"She's been living for 16 years in KY jelly./Yeah, that can't be good on your
eyebrows"

"I think pregnant ladies are scary"

"I think we should wait till it's late./When we get back it will be late./Exactly"

"The party is at Jerry's Bait Shop! OH-OH"

"I can't, I have to start studying for a final I have in two days... and I haven't even
taken the book out of the saran wrap."

"I don’t have to ask her for permission, I just have to persuade her to let me."

"You should have paddled him with your penis at his wedding!"

"Jeez-la-weez!"/Did you really just say Jeez-la-weez?"

"Listen here bucko!/Did you really just say bucko?"

"[Ramsey barges into Paul’s house and interrupts a group of people watching a serious
movie with the lights dimmed], “Paul you’re such a damn liar, and you smell like ham” –
Drunk Ramsey after the Rascal Flatts concert

"(calling me from the casino buffet) Dude -- quit screen your calls, I wanted to tell
you about the crazy amount of food I ate, I seriously, you’re probably going to think this
is an exaggeration but it’s not. [excited] I ate two steaks, probably about 35 shrimp, a
thing of carved turkey, a baked potato crab, a crab rangoon, some fried rice, two rolls, and
a teeny piece of pie at the end. Fucking most food I’ve ever eaten -- this place is fuckin’
[short pause] we have got to start coming here on Thursdays! Anyways, I’ll be home in a
little bit, later bye."

"Birth control is the best invention ever... [pause], so are condoms"

"So I've been thinking of taking up smoking as a hobby..."

"You would of been funny in the 80's"

"I wonder what T.J. Ford is up to?"

"You made out with him because you wanted to feel his suede jacket? That's awesome."