Last week was particularly busy for my family. It seems the theater bug has bitten my whole family.

Missoula Children’s Theater came to town this past week. If you haven’t heard of them, they run a wonderful program for children. Two actor-directors travel around in a red F150. It carries the whole set, scripts, costumes and props to put on a one-hour play, usually a version of a well-known fairy tale. Children from all of the local schools are invited to audition after school on Monday. Those who are chosen rehearse all week, and perform twice on Saturday. At the end of the evening, the actor-directors pack up their truck and move on to the next community.

All three of my boys auditioned, and all three got parts in The Pied Piper!

A few weeks ago, my husband received a call and was asked to audition for a reader’s theater production of Norm Foster’s The Foursome. Reader’s Theater is where the actors read from scripts. They use limited sets, props and costumes, relying primarily on expression to convey the meaning of the play. His performances were also this week.

So basically, because of other events scheduled for Sunday and Monday of last week, it has been a pretty crazy two weeks. My husband and I declared this Sunday a day of rest.

I slept in for the first time in…quite a while. I had a very strong desire to stay in my pajamas and not do anything all day, except maybe surf the net. And then the sun started shining through the front window, and it called me to move my body. So I compromised. I put on my yoga clothes and did yoga for the first time since sometime last fall. Or maybe even last summer.

I forget how much I enjoy the yoga DVD I have. (Jada Fire’s Expressive Yoga for the Soul if you are interested.) And I was truly amazed at how much stronger and more flexible I am since I have been working out on the Wave Vibration Fitness Machine at my chiropractor’s office. Some day I’m going to get one to use at home!

It felt so good to have a day with nothing really planned. It is so easy to get wrapped up in all the projects I am involved in. I sometimes forget that I need to schedule down time as well. Rest and relaxation are an important part of keeping balanced and maintaining positive mental health. When balance and mental health are not looked after, everything else becomes much more difficult.

The only thing I scheduled for the day was a phone call with a friend that I hadn’t talked to in ages. It was refreshing and energizing to catch up with her, and laugh with her. Again, it definitely helped with the balance and positive mental health.

I am very grateful that I, and my husband, took a day off, a day of nothing, a day of rest.

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Just briefly, this is Stephanie’s 4th Self Improvement Giveaway. Stephanie started this style of event in 2006. It’s in the form of a “Giveaway” which is sort of like a giant electronic trade fair where 100’s of experts offer their products free to the public.

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Now that it is 2011 (does that seem weird to anyone else?!?!), many people are making resolutions for changes they plan to make this year. Weight loss and financial growth are probably among the top resolutions for most people.

While I would love to lose some weight and grow financially, there is part of me that knows these things are already on the way, and I don’t have to push to make them happen.

My commitment this year is to seize the opportunities that present themselves before me that are in alignment with my purpose.

That last part is very important. In the past, there have been opportunities presented to me (network marketing, anyone?) that were not in alignment with my life purpose. And I took them because I was grasping for anything that would bring me “financial freedom” or more time to spend with my family.

Now, I’m not knocking network marketing. I believe it is a viable course to wealth…for some people. I’ve decided I’m not one of them, though. Because it’s not in alignment with my life purpose.

Last week I took a small action and sent a message out to one of my online networks. I really wasn’t expecting much response. But I had several people contact me within a few hours of sending it out, and those connections were very high energy. I contacted them back, and it was very clear from the conversations that these were Divine appointments that we were keeping. It was a wonderful day that flowed easily and delightfully.

It’s amazing what taking inspired action can do!

What is your resolution for 2011? And what inspired action will you take?

Over the past few weeks, I have noticed a lot of people in my life blaming other people or conditions for their current situation in life. As I noticed that they were not taking responsibililty for their actions and circumstances, I began to wonder where in my life am I not taking responsibility for my actions? Because if I am noticing it in others, they are just being the mirror reflecting me back to me.

Personal responsibility is one of those life lessons that seems to come up regularly for me. I began observing myself, my actions, my words and my thoughts, more closely. I noticed that I would choose to sleep a bit later rather than get up and do yoga, saying I was too tired, but not taking responsibility for staying up late the night before. I made excuses about not having enough time to complete a project, but didn’t take responsibility for allowing my children to continue playing on my computer when I had work to do.

I made a commitment to myself to start taking responsibility for EVERYTHING in my life. It’s a pretty big commitment! I feel really good about it…most of the time anyway. One morning challenged me on my commitment very directly. I wanted to sleep in, and decided that I needed to help get the boys up and ready for school. So I got up, and got the boys up, spending a long slow time snuggling with them in my big rocking chair. I was making their lunches when my husband came out of his office and said, “I have a conference call at 8:30 this morning. I can’t drive the boys to school. I guess you didn’t hear me when I told you last night when I came to bed.”

No, I hadn’t consciously heard him. And I only had twenty minutes to get the boys fed and ready to go out the door, and get myself dressed as well. I went into a bit of an internal tantrum. This meant that I wouldn’t get my regular journal and meditation time. And I would hve to shower after I got back from the school run. Why hadn’t he told me again earlier, like when I first got up, or when the alarm went off? I got caught up in my story of how horrible this was, and how little time I had.

To be honest, it took me quite a while to get myself out of my funk. I could observe myself in it, and I knew it didn’t feel good. I wanted to blame someone else, because surely it wasn’t my fault because I didn’t know. And I remembered my commitment to take responsibility. So I had to take responsibility for spending the extra 15 minutes in bed, and for not getting in the shower right away when I first woke up. And then I forgave myself for choosing as I had.

Taking responsibility is not always easy. It can be hard to admit that I made a mistake. Yet it can also be extremely liberating. My happiness does not depend on anyone else’s actions. I can’t control them anyway, but I can control how I react.

I’m still working on this. For example, I am still struggling with taking responsibility for the chaos of our current bedtime routine. And just yesterday morning I realized that while I may have no control over my son’s actions, I do have some control over the environment, and complete control over my reactions. I’ll keep you posted on how that is going.

Where are you taking responsibility in your life? Or not? Leave a comment below, and let’s see if we can shift our perspectives together!

The reflection for Thursday on the Peaceful WomanMaui Passage is “You are in the Flow”. We talk about being able to flow with whatever comes our way, and not being attached to any particular outcome. That last bit challenges me, as I tend to get uptight and cranky when events don’t unfold the way I think they should.

After the Passage in May, I mentioned that I was going with the flow in regards to a certain situation in my life. “Only dead salmon go with the flow, ” a friend of mine said to me. I’ve been thinking about it off and on for a while now, and I have to disagree.

I’ll get back to that in a minute.

I’ve been seeing posts on various social media and hearing about the teachings of Abraham, as recorded by Esther and Jerry Hicks. A few weeks ago I decided it was time to look into them.

Because there is a book ban on at my house (I’m not allowed to buy any more books), I turned to my favorite alternative to bookstores: the library. I went on line and requested several titles. The first one to come in was The Astonishing Power of Emotions: Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide. I’m only about half way through it, but it is a very quick and easy read.

I instantly resonated with the idea that our physical form is just a tiny extension of our soul, or Non-Physical Being, as Abraham puts it. In the book, Abraham describes our lives and efforts of manifestion like the current of a river. Many of us think that we have to work hard to manifest what we want in our lives. This is akin to paddling upstream. We work harder, faster, longer, and we don’t get anywhere.

According to Abraham, when we desire something, the larger part of our being, the Non-Physical Being, brings that desire into manifestation, downstream. The harder we work to make something happen, the farther away from it we actually get. “Nothing you want is upstream. ” What we really need to do, is go with the flow, let go of the oars, and allow the manifestation to happen. The key is to bring the vibration of your physical Being into alignment with your Non-Physical Being.

So how do you do this? By paying attention to your emotions. When you are in a place of fear, anger or anxiety, you are definitely paddling upstream. When you are in a place of love, joy, and happiness, your are definitely travelling downstream.

When you notice you are paddling upstream, how do you turn your boat around? Reframe the situation until you feel a sense of relief. That feeling shows that you are letting go of resistance, and beginning the flow downstream.

Getting back to the salmon, they work really hard to swim upstream. They do this to get back to the place they were hatched. When they finally get there, they spawn, and then they die. How many times do we as humans struggle to get back to some ideal from our past, even though we know it can never be the same? And what reward do we get for our struggles to recapture that lost time? Usually pain and disappointment. Like the salmon, our efforts may kill us, or a part of us. Yes, the salmon start the cycle of life for the next generation. But then they die! For us as people, our future lies downstream, and its a lot easier way to live!

I’m definitely going to practice letting go of the oars, and flowing downstream.

What are your thoughts? Do you see yourself as paddling upstream? Or do you find life easier going with the flow, downstream?

I’ve been trying to track down the author to get permission to share this with you, with no luck. So I decided to share it anyway, and if the author has any objections, I will take it down. Until then, enjoy!

The Awakening

by Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:

how you should look and how much you should weigh

what you should wear and where you should shop

where you should live or what type of car your should drive

who you should sleep with and how you should behave

who you should marry and why you should stay

the importance of having children or what you owe your family

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”

And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.

And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God… but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for material things but for my “God” to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this: “You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.” My “God” has never failed me.

I just got back from my water aerobics class. This isn’t really big news, I know. But it is for me, because the pool was supposed to close for renovations last Friday.

Almost three weeks ago, I sat down with a couple of friends to set some goals for ourselves for the rest of the month. I introduced them to Raymond Aaron’s Monthly Mentor goal setting program. I don’t make any money from endorsing this program; I just believe it is an excellent system for making progress toward your goals.

I haven’t used it myself in quite some time. So it was good for me to introduce it to my friends, and have others to support and be supported by in moving forward. One of the goals I set for myself was to start going to water aerobics again. I set myself a goal of attending a minimum of two classes, a target of three classes, and my outrageous goal for myself was attending five classes. I thought I had three weeks to acheive this.

Then I found out that the pool was closing June 25th for maintenance and renovations. So I had only two weeks to acheive my goal! I made the comment several times that I was disappointed that just as I was getting back into going to the classes, the pool was closing and I would not be able to keep up the momentum I was creating for myself. I pushed myself in my schedule, and I managed to get to five classes in two weeks!

At class last Friday morning, it was announced that the pool would be open for four more weeks. The architect needed more time. The fitness schedule would be quite limited, but the deep water class I attend is on at the time I prefer to attend, and on the three days of the week I attend.

However indirectly, I told the Universe that I wanted to continue with water aerobics, and the Universe provided the opportunity for me!

This isn’t the only experience I have had of manifesting I have had recently, but it is one of the most obvious. What I observe about myself in this situation, is that I did not directly ask the Universe to keep the pool open. I took action, going to the deep water class at every opportunity in my schedule. I enjoyed the feeling of working out, and I expressed disappointment at the thought of not continuing.

I find I am often challenged in the manifestation process by not taking action, or by getting stuck in the feeling of what I don’t want. Or I manifest unconsciously. I don’t always consciously choose what I want to create in my life. Between The Peaceful Woman’s Inspired Living Coaching series, and getting back into utilizing the MAINLY goal setting system, I am working on becoming more conscious of being a co-creator of my life. I am creating my reality in alignment with my intentions and desires. I AM a powerful manifestor, and I am so grateful!

I am vicariously taking part in an 8 week coaching program with The Peaceful Woman called Inspired Living. I say vicariously because I am not able to take part during the live call, but I can go back and listen to the recording. Last week was the first session, and I just listened to the call today.

We did an assessment of our lives–looking at various areas and how fulfilled we are by those parts of our lives, and how different areas of our lives support us. This was an interesting exercise for me. Some of these areas I knew were not fulfilling me, and I’m working to change that. Some areas that on first thought I would have said were great, after listening to the discussion I decided I really could be more fulfilled in that area of my life. Areas that I would have said are not supporting me, really do support me more than I think.

After looking at the balance, or really, lack of balance, in my life, I have to ask myself some powerful questions: How am I showing up in the world? How do I want to show up in the world? How different are the answers? And what do I need to do to bring them into alignment?

I feel that I am showing up as Super Mom, an overachiever who has so many things to do, one wonders how any of it gets done. And I do feel like I have too many projects on the go, but I am not sure how to pare it back. Each project feels essential to one or another of my goals. And yet, if I don’t slow down, I may crash. I notice I go through this cycle from time to time, usually when I have fallen behind on my daily meditation, journal writing, and/or exercise, all of which has happened lately.

The answers to the other questions are going to take a little more time, meditation and reflection to answer. As requested by my coach, I have chosen a theme for the rest of 2010: My life supports my purpose and my purpose supports my life. I’m still working to bring all the areas of my life into alignment with my purpose. I’ll keep you posted as I work out the answers to these questions!

If you know me, how do I show up for you? Or, how do YOU show up in the world, and how does that compare to how you want to show up?

I can’t believe it’s already been two weeks since I returned home from assisting with the most recent Maui Facilitator’s Passage. Since it’s officially March, I can even say it was last month! How quickly the time passes.

As always when I return home from a retreat or course, or really any time I have been away on my own, I am faced with the opportunity of integrating what I’ve learned into my daily life. Sometimes it is easier than others!

It was very interesting to experience the Maui Passage through new eyes – having gone through it once already six months ago. Here’s a video of me on the last day of the Passage last August:

Aside from getting to meet 10 incredible new women and deepening my connection with four women I met last time, going through the Passage for a second time helped to anchor a lot of the things I had learned on my initial Passage. For example, in August I had some challenges with “Flow Day”. When the day didn’t go as I thought it should, I became upset. I’ve been working on that over the past six months (my youngest son is a wonderful teacher who goes with the flow all the time), and I felt a lot more ease this time around.

And I learned some new things as well. On “Volcano Day”, I went and visited a heiau, a sacred place, up a hill that I had missed visiting in August. On the way back down to the beach, I had an aha message: “Stop searching for the significance of every moment, and allow each moment to be significant.” I saw that many times I work really hard to figure out why something is special, or push for the message I am supposed to receive. I don’t always get one. But when I am able to be truly present in an experience, rather than observing myself in it, I find much more profound meaning and insight.

On “Waterfall Day”, the experiences and the women in the February Passage reflected back to me that I am strong and a good leader. I saw that while my body may not look or feel much different, the work I have been doing to take better care of my physical body is making a difference. I was able to run up a hill at one point, something that would have winded me even six months ago. And when I planted myself in order to assist other women, I was stable and unshakable.

Going back to Maui completely reaffirmed for me that this work is what I want to be doing, and this company is totally in alignment with my purpose and values. I am excited to announce that I will be starting a Peaceful Woman Meet Up group this month, and I will be facilitating Maui Passages August 15th-21st, and September 12th-18th, 2010. I would love to have you join me! You will be expanded, enlightened, and peaceful, in your own way and through your own experience.