Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE

Edward continues to try to figure out, without the agency knowing where he is of course, who really killed his parents and where they&rsquo;re hiding, Henry has to deal with a rather large purchase his son has just made, and Tom&rsquo;s wife is the victim of theft and assault, so Raymond goes undercover as Tom to investigate.

The eclipse still baffles the likes of Mohinder and Arthur, Peter and Nathan help the Haitian overthrow his brother&rsquo;s corrupt rule in middle of the jungle, Elle and Sylar struggle with what the loss of their powers means to their identities, the Bennett family has to deal with some rather traumatic incidents taking place, and Hiro, Ando, Daphne, and Parkman try to figure out the next step in their quest to save the world.

Watching the Pre-Macy&rsquo;s Thanksgiving Day Parade Broadway Dancetacular, something occurred to me. If you take the amount of musical theatre performers in the US, multiply it by their salary, add that to whatever production costs that are involved, and divide that by the total number of Gays and Old People in the US, the numbers just don&rsquo;t work out. Musical theatre, like parades with giant balloons, are absurd american traditions. So in line with this idea, here are a few of the more absurd moments from the most recent Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, in pictures. Some of them involve dancing.

Frank Martin is a man of principles. His strict code of professional ethics and discipline help set the parameters for his total ass-kicking-ness. His stated rules are the following: never change the deal, no names, never open the package, and never make a promise you can't keep.

A Massive Dynamic employee is so convinced he is being attacked by butterflies that he jumps out of a window to escape them, and the team is called in to investigate. Although Olivia's unexplained interaction with Agent Scott leads to breaks in the case, she is so desperate to rid her consciousness of him that she demands to go back into the tank. Meanwhile, the gig is up for Peter when a former friend-and some current foes-find out he's back in Boston.

It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
Porky's

Henry discovers that Edward is willing to sell national security secrets to find the truth about how his parents died, and the Edward/Henry feud continues as Henry tries to use this new treacherous secret against the other side of his identity.

Sarah's obsession with the three dots leads her to a company that she believes may have Andy Goode's Turk. Meanwhile, Jesse's plans complicate things even further, and Weaver introduces Ellison to someone very important.

Five seasons of success and living the dream have turned into bitterness, uncertainty, and one really bad pun: Vince returns to Queens to see if home is where the part is. When the chips are down, Vince has a tendency to fall apart, and part of me expected that to happen in the worst way. It happens in almost every season, and it certainly happened again in this one. Those meltdowns are what give the show its namesake; as much as Vinnie rolls with ease into fame and hot women, he'd be nothing but another whiny ass star witout his Entourage to get him through the toughest times.

On tonight's episode of 30 Rock we find Liz and Jack attending an exclusive dinner party hosted by Gavin Volure, the ex-CEO of a company called Sunsteam. Jack describes Gavin as god like, but now a reclusive. After introducing himself to Jack and Liz they are surprised to see that the host of the party Jack has been in awe about is actually the person playing piano behind them. Gavin Volure (played by Steve Martin) informs his newly arrived guests that, "because of his extreme case of agoraphobia and debilitating wealth he is forced to bring the world to him."

Once Michael discovers that Toby has returned, he is none too pleased, as evidenced by the multiple times he screams &ldquo;oh God please no!&rdquo; in his face. So while he and Dwight try and come up with ways to frame him, Pam must deal with a dirty microwave and Jim has to figure out how to tell Pam about a real estate purchase he just made.

One of the funniest and most informative men on TV, Stephen Colbert has created a show that is consistently hilarious and that brilliantly compliments the stylings of his pundit compadre Jon Stewart. Smart and blaringly American, Colbert keeps you laughing while disecting the news and intimidating guests on the show with his cocksure, unrelenting attitude.

On June 15, 1949 a baby boy who would become a successful and talented comedic actor was born. His name was Jim Varney. Five years later, a boy who would spend a lengthy career confounding audiences worldwide was birthed in Chicago. His name was Jim too.

Butters discovers a terrible secret lurking in the heart of South Park Elementary: there are vampires, and he even becomes so desperate as to ask them to let him join. The Goths also become &ldquo;so seriously pissed off&rdquo; that preppy kids are taking over their Goth look that they decide to do something about it.

I walked out of the theatre from this movie feeling like I had a metal chair smashed over my face after being suplexd onto a mat covered in broken lightbulbs. And I mean that in the best possible way. The wrestler brings a level of intensity that you don&rsquo;t often experience these days. It just hurt so good.

We can only imagine that it's a great deal of pressure to deliver the news to the masses, all while dressed like your clothing and make-up came out of some time capsule that was put together by the wardrobe people on Designing Women. We can imagine that's rough, for sure.

In Middleton, Connecticut its pouring down rain, a man is driving with his son in the backseat. They get flagged down by a woman who claims that her car is having problems. The man calls a tow truck and offers to look under the hood for her. When he opens the hood he is bombarded by red and green flashes, he is startled out of his hypnotic state when the tow truck man taps on his shoulder. The man turns around to find that the woman, her car and his son are missing.

This episode is full of liars. The patient lies to the doctors. Taub lies to the patient. Wilson lies to House. Foreman lies to House. House lies to himself. In the end the only one not freed from his lies is House.The Patient

The episode begins as if it was entirely different show, a twilight version of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, where Cameron and Sarah wear pink Amish cotton gowns as they water steel cacti that quickly grow and envelope their young. Then we find out that its only Sarah's dream, thank God!

Arthur continues to wander the storyline like a ghost, helping Sylar empathize and recruit Elle, trying to convince Nathan and Tracy to help him with his master plans, and keeping Angela locked in a vision from which Matt Parkman is trying to save her. Hiro and Ando dink around as Hiro must contend with having his brains scrambled to ten year old status, Claire must help the now power-less Peter. Mohinder is also now officially a mad scientist working for Pinehearst, unsuccessfully testing out the formula on regular human subjects.

Edward and Henry&rsquo;s complex interactions with his wife deepen as Henry must figure out why Angie lied to him about going to the dentist, and why she&rsquo;s seeing a random man that Henry doesn&rsquo;t know. They also transport a political candidate to an election in Kazakhstan so that democratic elections can be held.

Last episode was a tornado of guts and guilt&hellip;literally. Bill was forced into turning an innocent girl into a vampire. Jason&rsquo;s vampire buddy was killed by his psycho girlfriend right before his eyes and Sookie was attacked and almost killed by the predator that we can only assumed killed her grandmother and the two other girls, Dawn and Mardette.

Face it. Bond movies aren't high art. They're movie fast food. You know what you're paying for. It's huge, loud, and sandwiched in meat. So to speak. Remember the 1980s Big Mac? The hot side stays hot, the cold side stays cold. Well, Quantum was brilliant junk food. The girls were hot-ass skinbombs; the guys were cold-ass. It's not Fellini, Wells, or even Scorsese: it's junk food. So pull up to the second window and get some extra fries. Here's are your grades, class

Schadenfreude is a noun meaning satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune. Every time you watch TMZ, or a dumb kid on the internet falling off his skateboard, or your jerk of a boss getting subpoenaed for sexual harrassment–that little smirk you get in all of those situations qualifies for that very German word.