The Morning Line: This Olympics Fever Just Won't Break

By
Michael Cavna

The Olympic marathon continues to hurtle by at the speed of sound -- as long as that sound is, say, the glacial golf dialogue in "Judge Parker."

By "Olympic marathon," we speak not of the Beijing Games themselves but rather the mind-numbing gantlet of Oly-themed comics. From imprisoned Tibet-flag-waving tykes to imprisoned camera-wielding sports anchors, the funnypages risk committing their own abuses against the rights of comics readers -- that is, in trying so hard to tackle serious themes, some strips forget to entertain.

So, accounting even for degree of difficulty, we again score a sampling of Olympic strips -- and for those of you scoring along at home, you can post your own tallies here.
Herewith, the numbers from the scorers' table:

BREWSTER ROCKIT: Staring down the teeth of the competition. (TMS)Enlarge Comic

8.4 -- BREWSTER ROCKIT: Simple but effective, right down to the "Rrrchomp!" RIP Ensign Kenny.

6.8 -- TANK McNAMARA: Points for trying to be visually interesting while commenting on NBC's coverage. A full-point deduction, however, for drawing a non-Olympic "sport." It sure ain't tennis ("table" or otherwise) because instead of racquets or paddles, the players appear to be holding a mollusk and a leg of lamb.

3.8 -- PRICKLY CITY: Major deductions for technical marks. The faux-Chinese lettering is just lame (we're reminded of Margaret Cho's great line about the insipid offensivity of "Chinese menu" characters); the third-panel imagery looks like Art-by-Spyrograph; and the pivot to the punchline doesn't flow. So ill-conceived, we're convinced Carmen must also be lip-synching.

What do the other Olympic judges out there have to say? Bring on your scores.

Recently you pointed out that Ted Forth and his mother-in-law have the same face. In the strip shown herein, we see from the profile view in the second panel that Hillary's friend Faye has exactly the same face as Sally. This answers the Forth's recent deliberation about whether to have a second child; Sally already does have a second (illegitimate) daughter, who has "adopted herself" into the Forth household.