The Shameless Chef: Sausage and Cheese Drop Biscuits

Here on the Shameless Chef, we've already used pan sausage, and we've already used Bisquick. Inevitably, the decision was made to combine them. We're through the looking glass here, people.

You'll need:

1 tube of pan sausage

Bisquick

shredded cheese of your own choosing (we've used cheddar and mozzarella)

milk (but let's be honest, you can use water if you don't have milk, or if you're racist against lactose)

What we're cooking up here is a big favorite at gatherings such as poker night, football games, and lynch mobs. They are also just good to have around, since you can eat them at any meal, and they're great hot or cold. Yes, sausage and cheese biscuits are the pinnacle of American achievement, and anyone who disagrees should be vaporized, for he is clearly an alien.

You'll want to pre-heat your oven to 450 degrees and start getting your skillet hot on the stove. Take your thawed-out sausage and start browning it in the skillet on medium heat. While this is happening, you can start mixing the Bisquick.

I use about four cups of Bisquick mix; it makes a sizable batch, good for three or four meals. The number of biscuits will vary, since some people prefer smaller, crunchier biscuits, while others prefer larger, mushier ones. In today's batch, I've made some of both. You can use more or less Bisquick depending on how many biscuits you want. Really, that should be obvious.

The milk measurement, sadly, is not going to be exact, because you need to mix in just enough to mix all the powder in, and no more. The batter needs to be very thick, because the sausage and cheese will produce grease, which will alter the consistency of the batter. We're doing drop biscuits, which means they roam free about the cookie sheet, unconfined by the biscuit partitions that shackle their perfectly circular brethren. In order for this to be feasible, the batter needs to stay pretty thick throughout the process, or else you'll wind up with a big-ass puddle of biscuit-y embarrassment. It would still probably taste pretty good, though. Helpful hint: The batter will be too thick to use that girly little whisk. Use a plain old fork, like the iron-testicled pioneers before you. Or iron-ovaried. I don't discriminate.

Once the sausage is thoroughly cooked, mix it and the cheese into the batter, and then scoop out as many lumps as you can fit onto the cookie sheet. We cooked the batch you see here for about 14 minutes on a middle rack, but of course cooking time will vary depending on how many you make and how big they are. Generally, you'll need slightly more time than the back of the box recommends. Keep an eye on the bottom of the biscuits and make sure they don't get scorched, and you'll also want to cut the thickest one in half to make sure it's cooked all the way through before you turn off the oven. Remember what Grandma Shameless Chef always used to say: "Biscuits are not supposed to have a juicy center." Such a wise lady.

There you have it. They're simple, they're popular, and they're damn tasty. They may be eaten with any of several different condiments. I prefer blackberry preserves, but I'm not going to tell you how to live your life.