The Good Friend’s Breakup Survival Guide

The Good Friend’s Breakup Survival Guide

Handle the basics

“Right after a boyfriend dumped me and shattered my heart in college, one of my male housemates gave me a paper bag to breathe into because I was
hyperventilating.”

—Caroline, 35

Photo: iStock

Ger her off the couch

“There is nothing that serves as a better pick-me-up than an impromptu dance party in an awkward place—subway stops, hallways, grocery stores, anywhere you can take a spin!”

—Caitlin, 23

Photo: iStock

Remind her that life had meaning before he was in it

“A friend said, ‘You love him, but you can live without him.’ She was right. And instead of sitting around sad, I started training for a half marathon. Not only did it take up a lot of my time that would be spent with the boy, but I managed to look better than I did when we were dating, which is the ultimate revenge.”

—Kristin, 25

Photo: iStock

Stage an intervention

“My friend sat me down and said I needed to really think before calling my ex. Was I calling because I missed him and needed to talk or because I just missed having a person to call? Usually it was because I was looking for an ear, so now I call a friend instead.”

—Joanna, 24

Photo: iStock

Cancel the pity party

“Everyone needs a few days to grieve, but good friends will keep an eye out to make sure you’re staying active, exercising (endorphins!), getting mani-pedis, eating healthy and going shopping—with them, of course. After all, it’s the beginning of a new chapter, and you should look good and feel good.”

—Jee, 24

Photo: Getty Images

Fix what she can’t

“My ex handled everything techy, and since we were together for seven years (which is like 200 years in tech time), when we broke up I didn’t know how to do anything. Every loose wire became a reminder of my failed relationship. When my friend saw how I was freaking out, she showed up at my house one Saturday after I’d moved and took care of everything that involved a plug or a cord. I was so happy, all I could do was cry as she hooked up my DVD player.”

—Stephanie, 35

Photo: Getty Images

Bring up the past—in a good way

“Best advice I ever got? ‘Think about that high school boyfriend you thought you would die over because he broke up with you—and how now you can’t even fathom what the attraction was.’ So true.”