(oops...ey be respondin' to me own here...bleedin time Aussie time zone)

...for it is located right under this neon sign say Buried Treasure here. Can't you read? Then following the removal of one of his two eye patches, Hossenfeffer did read the great revelation. Shiver me timbers he cried...

...A huge gold filing cabinet, with hundreds of drawers. He were an openin one at random. It were stuffed , with folders, old crisp packets and bits of fluff. He started a-reading some of the labels on the folders:

... devil be these varmint's a-plannin. He bounded (ok hopped) down the beach, a-yellin to his crew "Avast there lads, we've got a new mission".

At anchor in the bay lay moored a fine new vessel 300ft from stern to poinyt-bit, 100ft from deck to crows nest, whittled out of coconut shells and palm trees. It were havin rather more, swimmin pools, gothic towers an golf courses than were strictly normal on yer average pirate ship, but Hosenfeffer was in too much of a hurry to notice. "Not bad " he yelled to his crew as he lugged his new treasure up the gangplank, "weigh anchor"...

...grog 'n' wenches. they had a lovely time, if lovely is the right word for pirates, anyhoo. when they were finished, they went back to the boat. on their way Captian Hossenfefer described their mission.

"well lads, it be seemin' thart them fundies are-a trying to take o'er thar world. an' we just canna let that happen..."

but as they turned the corner into the dock, they saw that their boat had been toilet papered.

"FSM BLAST IT! WHO THE RUDDY 'ELL DID THIS...

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... scene, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a distant terrified figure running erratically towards him down the quay , taking huge bounds, tripping, then jumping again to his feet as if the devil were at his heels. As his bosun approached Hosenfeffer felt an icy grip close round his heart. "Yarrrr, Spit it out man. What's wrong" he said as the exhausted man collapsed in front of him. The bosun stared up at the capn with a despairing look of total horror. Finally he caught his breath and managed to gasp out, "Your ex-wife is aboard sir" ...

...which was Irreducibly Complex, like her personality or lack thereof.

Following a savage mauling by SFM the Parrot. Panda did flee on her evil galleon, the SS Dumbke, laden with high school text books to sell in the schools afar.

And before SS Dumbke could make it past the headland, Hossenfeffer's cannoneers (not canoneers) opened up on the evil galleon, sending Panda and her crew to the bottom. YARRRRR screamed the lads, we...

...'s saved the capn a fortune in maintenance payments, Yarr reckon it'll be rum all round tonight, and indeed it were, with the capn becoming tired and emotional and surprisin 'em all with a viewing of his hornpipe. Meanwhile...

...did decree to the lads his plans. He also used the opportunity to throw away a few wedding presents Panda had forced him to keep. "Yarrr I never did like plaid socks he snarled"

A great armada of fundy war vessels would need to be sunk before the kiddies of the world were safe.

And their next first mission was to sink the galleon the SS Wedge, skippered by Hossenfeffer's evil nemesis Cap'n Brucey Chap-person. For The Wedge was a galleon to be feared. It had many cannons, sendin many ships to the bottom of the ocean.

And it was belived that SS Wedge was moored at Kingston takin' on supplies of ID books, and prim and proper wenches.