The none exciting adventures of a busyish, works in Primary School and loves it, bog standard Mum, who fast ran out of her thirties...straight into her 40s which frankly so far...have been RUBBISH. She demands a refund.

Sunday, 28 January 2018

This was what faced me yesterday. (I shamelessly nicked this off The Twitter as I couldn’t put it better myself! )

“Welcome to HRMC online.

Please enter you login

Now enter your Gateway ID

Password please

Now User ID

Government ID please

Enter a code we've texted your old number

There's a scroll in your garden. Find it.

Latin name for fox

Your name in Sanskrit

176th digit of Pi

We couldn't identify you.

Your first girlfriend's mother's maiden name

Capital of Belarus

King Arthur's burial coordinates

Last three letters of your father in law's number plate

Your inner-most fear

7523/42*3.5

Your provisional driving license expiry date “

Then, when, you are in, and you’ve not clicked anything for 3 nanoseconds because you are trying to decipher the questions, you are logged back out for security reasons and have to GO THROUGH IT ALL AGAIN!!

I’m absolutely certain that most tax evasion in the UK is by people who lose the will to live in trying to get onto their online account and give up!!

Anyway, it’s done. I’ve repeated all my vows to the dining room wall about how I’m going to do the accounts every month. Both me and the wall know I’m lying!

Sunday, 21 January 2018

Here I am again, avoiding my dining room table. ( Where my yearly pretend I'm an accountant debacle takes place. ) I've actually got everything in order. I've retidied previous years accounts into lovely different coloured files. I've catalogued all receipts and am now in the process of ticking them all off. I HATE doing the outgoings the most...so this year I have started with them...but have fannied about so much I'm not finished! On the plus side I'm up to date for next year's books!

It's chucked it down all day here which, given the Baltic conditions I walked home in last night, or should that be early hours of today, was a surprise! We dressed up to the nines, me with my skin tight frock on and drag queen make up, him with his full dinner suit complete with bow tie. The magick knickery I had going on was an amazing feat of engineering. Indeed the elastic was that strong, the HG had to snap me into them, much in the same way I used to jiggle a toddler Miss 23 into her tights by holding the waistband on either side and lifting her off her feet to drop her into the tights! He pulled them up just so after wiggling and yanking them as much as he could, tucking them under my bra band at the back because my shoulders and my T-Rex arms couldn't reach around that far! It's all about the romance at our house!!!! And once I was in them that was it!

We set off down the ginnel. It was icy so I changed into my trainers I'd popped into my handbag. Only they made it ten times worse! Totally the wrong grip. I was sliding around but with a beautifully straight back and flat stomach!!! Can you imagine if I slipped and broke a hip? And the ambulance crew tried to cut me out of my clothes??? The ricochet effect would be very dangerous for all concerned!!!!

We got to our hosts and enjoyed a traditional Burns Night Supper. We all played our part. The haggiswas piped in and stabbed with a silver sword in the appropriate place in the poem. We had neeps and tatties ( and tons of broccoli as we are ALL now on SW in our friendship group!! ) we toasted the lassies and the laddies. I read the poem To a Mouse. Which is long and full of hard to pronounce words! It was just really good fun. It's an annual thing that our friends host even though none of us are actually Scottish! It was gone 2am when we left to walk the usual 6 minutes at most walk home. Except it was -5C and the hard frost had got worse and it was a total ice rink all the way home. I kept my heels on because the stiletto actually was anchoring me down! It took us 25 minutes to gingerly make it home! I was wide awake when we got in so we watched a Corrie and chatted about the evening. Although the FIRST thing I did was to get the hell out of my undergarments!

I woke up at 7 and could not get back to sleep so of course I'm going be utterly knackered all week. No hangover for me though as I'd stuck to diet tonic all night!

Right I'm going to go do a few more bits and bobs before bed. I can't believe it's work again so soon! I'm going to Young Voices on Wednesday and I'm really looking forward to it. I loved it last time. Although this year, the security rules are ( quite rightly but stable door an all ) very strict and it's going to be tricksy getting a packed lunch and tea into a bag smaller than an A3 piece of paper!

Ok, I'll leave you with the first verse of my poem I read.

Lots of love from
Rachel *loving all the comments on the blog lately* Radiostar xxx

Saturday, 20 January 2018

It's only at work though. They've dug out all the old records at my work...which is also where me and my sisters went to Primary School. I found my entry into the old handwritten register books and I started my school life on 12th January 1976. I was pupil number 1368!

Then we looked through the box of old photos and I found myself on several pictures and instantly I was transported back to my childhood! Well I'm transported back everyday working there - it's not all that different!
Plus look how much it was to buy a school photo in the 1970s - all relative - probably a weeks wage!!

Me

My middle sister ( Harry's mum )

My little sister ( Baby Abbie's nana!! )

On my Primary 1 photo ( they call it Reception class these days ) I'm looking very proud! I'd cut my own fringe ( something I still do 40 years on! Still as badly sometimes! ). That photo is tinged with sadness. Obviously I'm not posting the full because of other people in it, but the little girl sat next to me called Anita, was my first friend at school. Only one day she didn't come back. Her Daddy had taken her and her sister from their mums house ( I understood later it was because they were estranged ) and drove them all up to Scotland and killed them all by parking up in a remote area and putting a hose from the exhaust into the car. That's never left my memory as such but seeing her made me remember it. Although we were never ever told as children what had happened. It was years later my mum told me.

Anyway happy memories of my school life included being Skittleball champions circa 1980 ( photo of me hair down in a red bib! ) and all the music we did!! Our surname could have been Von Trapp! That's me with the trumpet!! I think I have changed but people who know me say I have not changed a bit.

One thing I do recall is though, being bullied for being fat. I look at these photos incredulous really because honestly in some I think I look starved and malnourished! ( We weren't!! ) and definitely no bigger than any of the others. As ever, it was one kid. The day it stopped was the day after school in Skittleball practice, this boy - who was actually a cousin once removed or something ) started with the fatty stuff, I'd had enough, so I chased him round the playground and knocked him to the floor with a punch. Everyone was pointing and laughing. Of course I got hauled in. Massively in trouble. But then my Mum came in and informed everyone what the nasty little shit had been up to all along and that it was good for me because he deserved it. She took no prisoners!! After that there was no more name calling. But looking at these photos I have no idea why he would do that to me. Hateful moron that he was.

Anyway, the main reason I'm blogging right now is because it's that time of year when I do the books! So naturally I'm finding eleventy billion things to do to put it off! A late breakfast next! We are going out tonight to friends, for a Burns Night Supper ( a week early ) but it is the whole shebang. Evening dress a must ( giggling because it's just a group of us in their dining room!! ), we toast inthe haggis with bagpipes and we all recite the poetry. There's a toast to the lassies and a reply to the gents - usually hilarious and much good food and wine ( though not so much of the wine for me this year!! ) and I'm really looking forward to it!

I've to sort the books, cut my fringe!!, do me roots ( rolls eyes ) and do some washing.

Right, can you also believe it's half term in three weeks? That's insane!!!
Oh and a first for me this week. I tried and enjoyed a pickled egg!
Lots of love from
Rachel *look how lovely my lunch was yesterday* Radiostar!

Monday, 15 January 2018

That, dear bloggy world, was the date stamped on the tube of tomato purée I found under the fridge, yesterday.
I hereby resign from the guild of the housewives and realise I no longer have any claim to the throne of the domestic goddess.

IN MY DEFENCE, your honour, we do have one of those giant American fridges which is plumbed in so never gets pulled out. The floor underneath does get swept from time to time. Clearly the last time to time was pre 2011!!!
So how come there was an episode of Ch4’s Time Team going on in my kitchen? The HG was reaching for something from the redesigned corner of the back kitchen, as he reached, a box of bits for the new radiator fell off and went down the side of the cupboard and fridge where there’s just the right amount of room to slide and hide my clothes airer. With much swearing, the airer was moved and the bits of radiator gubbins collected. Except one valve. Looked again, couldn’t see it.
It could only have gone under the fridge, or worse, round the corner at the back of the cupboardin the corner. This would have meant having to pull the cupboard out. ( or just going on screwfux and buying a new one - my thoughts!!! )
So armed with my broom handle, I lay down I the floor, stuck the broom handle under the fridge and started pulling forwards. I felt something. Surely the valve. It resisted. So I got to my knees to manoeuvre the broom handle towards me. It was soft and I looked in horror as a black dead body came forth covered in dust and an old receipt. I admit I screamed, recoiled in horror and possible did a little wee.

It was a sock! THAT IS WHERE ODD SOCKS GO TO DIE PEOPLE!! Thus solving that mystery of why you only get odd socks back out of the washer when you know full well you put complete pairs in there??

One more sweep revealed the tomato purée. The HG came to take over as his arms are longer than mine and he could get right to the back corner.
Hurrah! Valve found and floor under fridge slightly cleaner than it was before!!
Valve now on new radiator which is WHEREIT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE IF ONE OF US WOULD EVER FINISH A JOB. But of course, I didn’t say a word! I may have pursed my lips a bit, but not one word!

Will now make the effort with those floor wipey things wrapped round broom handle to sweep under there!! What’s that? Photo or it never happened? Ok then!!

The dead creature from beyond the fridge.

So out of date!

Right, Monday morning. Let’s see what today brings. Cannot believe we are halfway through January already!

Sunday, 14 January 2018

Well almost and for the first time in about 100 years I am not wishing January away! If anything, the year is going too fast. Another four weeks and it's half term! I wonder if, because of my SW stuff, it's the first January I'm not in that cycle of new year new me oh I've already failed by the 2nd! Or if it's wanting to put off the next worry-ct scan -results cycle that's coming. ( It's definitely that. )

My first week back at work was difficult. Much paperwork and the aftermath of Christmas! Also we were not back in our usual routine! Plus hours at the computer irritated my shoulders. I do want to blog separately about my shoulders. But it's going to be a long and very whiney post so I'll warn people in the title.

I want to document a particular Christmas Present I received from a pupil. Annoyingly it's at work and I can't take a photo to show you. This pupil had embroiled some work chums in this present all without me knowing. I had no idea about it. So it was the day before we broke up and the pupil asked me if I had a few minutes for them. Of course, was my answer. They brought their teacher in with them.
Then I was told the pupil had been working hard on something and they wanted to give me it. The pupil then took out a 'book' ( about 6 sheets of A4 folded in half and stapled ) dedicated to me.
They then began to read a story poem they'd written. It was the most shockingly awesome thing ever ever ever I have had happen to me in all my 24 years at work. The story started and I'm summizing it for you.

'Once upon a time there was a pupil called X. This pupil was hating school, frightened to come and it was because they were getting bullied. This pupil went to see Miss Radiostar. Miss Radiostar listened and took me seriously. She had a smile for me and I felt safe. She told me what to do and she sorted it out. She really sorted out the bullies more than any other teacher had done. I now love coming to school. I'm not frightened. Etc.'

( Bullying is a very strong word to be used in Primary School and we really do take it seriously, children and parents will call a bit of falling out bullying etc but when something happened over and over and there's power being held over another then it is true bullying. This is what had been going on under the radar by some really sneaky, clever pupils until I hauled them in and I didn't ask a single thing. I 100% believed the victim. I told them straight they were bullies. What they were doing was bullying. I got the head and then the parents were brought in. They tried to deny it but thankfully their parents were shocked and appaulled about what their offspring had been doing and thankfully it was sorted. It's never happened again and the bullies are no longer that. )

Anyway the poem then went on about how much I mean to this pupil and how they will never ever forget what I did for them. How I make them feel because no matter what I always have a lovely smile for any children at school and how I always care for them etc etc. It got a bit much and the pupil got so choked up and emotional reading, the teacher had to take over. I was in tears!! I do feel valued and appreciated at work but this one particular afternoon totally knocked me for six and I know that in my job I'm doing the right thing!!

In other news. The HG and I went to Gretna Green. But only to the outlet village! I spent the Christmas money off my Ma in law on a new coat. It's beautiful. I rarely spend Christmas money on myself. I mean to, but it then gets used for household stuff and I never 'put it back' but this time I did. I was supposed to be getting a waterproof. But even in the outlet shop, whilst I'm mid SW journey ( rolls eyes at that j word ) they were too expensive to contemplate. I shall do a charity shop search instead. But this coat had my eye from the minute I walked in. The one in the window was black and
beautiful but the navy one in the shop had me stroking it. I checked the size, too small. In my head
.I'm still the same as I ever was. Anyway I thought let's try it one. To my amazement the zip went up and it wasn't too hideous! It's a padded coat. With embroidered flocking. Hahaha it sounds revolting! It's from Roman Originals. It was down in the sale and the nice shop lady gave me a card for an extra 15% off, so it would have been rude, frankly, not to buy it. So I bought it. Then, rather like when I was a little girl in the shoe shop, I asked the nice shop lady if she'd take the tags off so I could wear it!!
I wore it into town yesterday and must have had 93 compliments! I saw a lady in the black version of the coat and we smiled knowingly at each other!!!

This is neither me nor the lady!!

I also faffed about with spare baubles I had, some glue and polystyrene and voila! All ready for December. It's so beautiful! Even if I say so myself.

I spent yesterday sorting out my floordrobe and finally Put. Things. Away. Job done. That's so I can spend most of today in my craft room. I'm going to have a bash at a jelly roll tuffet.

The last thing I made was a ginger bread lady for my friend's daughter's 21st. She was over the moon with it. I tried to deChristmas it so she can keep it up year round.

Right, it's 7.25am on Sunday morning. I'm going to lounge about for a bit and watch create and craft tv. There's a quilting classroom programme on at 8 and I love Jenny Rayment who presents it! She's quite stern!

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

Again, I'm pushing midnight! Hopefully you noticed the rest of my post yesterday in the comments! Slightly cheeky! We got up and out early, returning home with quite the haul mid afternoon.
Lots of gorgeous bargainous half price or less Christmas paraphanalia, cards, wrapping and tags. Resources to make the wreath I want to. Not pictured, but new rainproof bird feeders - I'm fed up of having to throw away manky seed stuck in the bottom due to the weather. Speaking of the weather, it's blowing a hoolie down the chimney. Brrrrr.
Also some new storage boxes, some bits n bobs for crafting and sewing. Also some fabric from a brilliant little shop in Longridge. I plan on making something to wear. Just have to pick a pattern and get measuring!
Had a lovely day out. Now to add the photos and sleep!

Day two of this year, done.

Lots of love from
Rachel *spent all her Christmas money* Radiostar xxx

Monday, 1 January 2018

Bloody hell, I need to get a wriggle on if this is to be published on the first of January. I've been so busy all day since 6.30am when I woke up. Granted, two hours of this business included sitting on one's backside catching up with a little Hollyoaks!
I've been toiling in the kitchen. Turning the bags of spuds and parsnips I'd bought for the 15,000 imaginary guests at Christmas into 'Aunt Ressie's' goose fat roasts!

Right, nine minutes of today left.
So I was at one with my kitchen. I got out my three calendars. One of the beautiful Freddie - in the kitchen pride of place. A free one from SW with lush recipes to try and a gorgeous vintage sewing one for the craft room. My backside has now christened my new velvet chair. I got the sewing machine out today and shortened the HG's work pants that I've been doing for months. I keep giggling though because I am pretty sure I've gone too short and they are going to be half mask when he puts them on.
It's 23.54 and I've to get the photos on. I've posted some more of my decks in situ because I loves them! The Russian Doll's Santa's are for the lovely blogger at The Balancing Kiwi to see. Xx
Right Pics n publish!

About Me

I am small,round,squishy and Northern. Quite frankly I cannot believe I'm in my 40s so soon.I can remember sitting in assembly at Junior School being asked the question I wonder what we'd be doing in the year 2000?I recall imaging it would NEVER get here.Gulp.It was over a decade ago.
I love to walk,tweet,knit,read,laze about,watch TV - all of it! cook,bake,garden,spend time with my kids & HG - Hunter Gatherer! We've been engaged for 23years-I'm never sure what to call him now-fiance implies we are to be married!I love Twitter and Blogland. I have extended medical knowledge from years of watching ER FROM THE BEGINNING{and I am still not sure I am over it finishing}.I LOVE my job.I hate all Sofa adverts with a passion - I believe that the DFS sale WILL NOT end when the world does. I love to comment on other people's blogs! A lot!

Welcome one and all. Pull up a chair by the fireside and join in the fun!

It's MY blog and I'll write what I want to, write what I want to, write what I want to - you would write too if it happened to youuuuu!

* PLEASE NOTE the names I use in my stories about mywork are FALSE names. This isto protect the identity of my inspirations.The stories, however are ALL true.*

I love to get feedback and comments and read YOUR experiences linked to my posts! I don't employ the evil that is Capitcha - although of course I do look at them before they are published. Owt nasty won't get in.

If you don't like what you are reading -tough! I would ask that you simply DON'T READ IT.

Here's Harry's Page CLICK THE PHOTO TO ACCESS THE LINK

Harry is my youngest nephew. ( I have six altogether out of ten nieces and nephews ) and not only is he super special because I was the midwife as his birth, but he is super special because even though he is fighting cancer of the eyes - BILATERAL RETINOLBLASTOMA, he is doing it with a huge smile. I l ove him so much, he is squishy, snuggy, adorable and gurgly! Please have a read, donate if you can and SHARE it around xx THANK YOU