Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Help has arrived

About a month ago I had a breakdown in front of a complete stranger. I had just stepped on the scale at Weight Watchers and the lady looked up at me in all earnestness and asked, "What do you think you're doing wrong?"

In all seriousness, I had been in the program since May with a three pound loss to show for it. This makes no sense since I had exercised more this summer than in ten years and been eating mindfully. Up to that point I'd been chalking it up to pushing forty. The particular week I was crying like a baby because I had actually gained weight. Really?

I was feeling as though my own body was betraying me. But looking back now, I think I've been feeling this ever since John had been born four years ago. I never truly bounced back after having him. Not only had I not been able to shed those baby pounds, but my energy and motivation has been lacking. It was taking me quite a bit of effort to get myself out of bed each morning. I had no literally force myself to do anything physically straining. By the end of my 12 hour shift at work, I could barely focus my thoughts to give report. Physically, it would take me a day to recover.

A year ago the doctor confirmed a benign thyroid tumor which was drained. My blood work was normal, so no treatment was needed. I'd been putting of my check up until this unfortunate day at Weight Watchers. I was ready to throw in the towel, but with my sister's encouragement I went back for a check up.

This was really difficult for me to do. Being a nurse doesn't assure that I'm a good patient. I often am overdiagnosing my family and underdiagnosing myself. I was sure that the doctor would send me on my way without any help and I was reluctant to go there. More than anything, I didn't want to face the fact that I may be told this is my new normal.

But instead, she seemed surprised that my tumor is still there at all and quickly prescribed some medication. She's hoping that the medication will shrink it and relieve my symptoms. God answered my prayers for direction in such a specific way. In just a short five minute visit, I felt as though a weight had been lifted.

Three weeks later, I feel like a completely different person. It's as if I was literally walking in a fog. Everything seems brighter and more clear visually. I've lost this weird buzzing feeling that often keeps me from falling asleep at night. (This came on after having John and I was told that it was just exhaustion.) I wake up in the morning feeling truly rested, but if I have to wake up extra early, it doesn't take me an hour or two to get going. Even my nails (pronounced ridges) and hair are changing.

As for the weight loss, well, the jury is still out. I'm working at it hard, but I'm hopeful that now they'll be a return on my investment.

8 comments:

Monica, this is interesting..I have been struggling with similar things- I have shrugged it off as being too busy, lazy, and a whole array of other things. I switched chiropractors and this new one is a believer and more holistic. He did a very thorough exam and when he looked at my pupil reflexes he announce "Holy cow, your adrenals are shot!" He noticed that my body was near "adrenal exhaustion" which I guess, the allopathic world doesn't acknowledge. I have been taking a tincture and it has helped, still struggle with the emotional swings and feeling exhausted. Will see what happens, but these things all make it hard to do what we have to do, doesn't it?

While it is disappointing that the weight hasn't fallen off as easily as you had hoped, maybe it is better that you were able to identify and treat the underlying problem. This is great news. I can't wait for your progress report in the near future :)

I have some insight on some thyroid problems - I have hypothyroidism, and it's true that if your thyroid is "out of whack" things just don't work the same.It's taken me several years to finally get to the place (with natural supplements, a natural thyroid med, and new eating habits) where I think I've gained some ground in returning to some semblance of normalcy.We could chat about this sometime, if you'd like. Glad you're doing better.

Great news! Strangely enough, I've had the same issues. I just went and had some bloodwork that said I have thyroid issues. Next step is a scan I have not gotten done yet. You're encouraging me, I need to get that scan!!

Monica - So glad you are seeing improvements! I know I saw big improvements when my thyroid issue was finally diagnosed and I began treatment. The exhaustion was one of my biggest complaints. I was exactly in your shoes - in angry tears at a Weight Watchers meeting that I was following the program and not losing. Still trying to get rid of this weight, but so many of the other things are so much better now!

"...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complain- ing or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing...." Philippians 2:12b-16

I often want to be the one to do big things for God. This verse reminds me that it is in doing the small things well and without complaining that I can be most useful to Him. So when I'm taking care of the sick and sweeping up the floor again and just got sauce on my only white shirt and somehow managed to drop a box of crayons down the dryer vent and my friend is hurting and my child is frustrated with school and I really don't feel like I can answer one more question.... I remember that this is my time to SHINE AGAIN.