Editor’s Note: Christian Bale came to us and asked if he could write a guest column on Holy Taco to clear the air about the recent blow up that has everyone talking. We’re big Batman fans, so we said sure.

Alright, listen up. A lot of you blokes heard what you THOUGHT was me blowing up at the Director of Photography on the set of Terminator Salvation. But you don’t know shit! You don’t know fucking sh- you don’t know the whole story. Here’s the truth mate, that wasn’t me blowin up. I would never say that to some cock sucking prick cinematographer. If a cinematographer was being a FUCKING STUPID PRICK, I’d just go ‘bout my business.

In actuality, it was a scene from an earlier version of the script when the movie was called Beverly Hills Terminator. That script was about John Connor getting stuck in Hollywood and hiding out from Cybernet on a movie set. John connor is super fish-out-of-water in 2009 Hollywood and doesn’t understand simple things and it makes for hilarious scenes. Like the director yells “cut” and John cuts something with a knife or something. So the scene you saw was when John does an impression of an actor getting really upset. If you don’t believe me check out the script you pissants.

See, just a scene from that movie. And you know that script is real cause it’s got bloody stains on it! If it were fake it wouldn’t have them bloody stains! Then a week in some producer bloke wanted to change it to Terminator Salvation, and it became a different movie. So imagine my bloody surprise when I heard that tape and me agent is telling me everyone hates me guts!

If you still don’t believes me, we even did a movie poster for Beverly Hills Terminator! Check it out: