Where is Art?

I may have discovered the greatest book ever written. I can’t quite remember the title, but it’s about a bear searching an art gallery for “Art,” which he thinks is a bear (this is a kids book in which bears are people)… so he walks into the room of Pre-Raphaelites and wonders “hmm… I don’t see art here…” He continues through other galleries, becoming more annoyed through each gallery with his inability to find art… eventually, he grows too frustrated and screams about how he has searched everywhere in the gallery, and art is nowhere to be found… the book ends with a security guard explaining that art is not a bear (GASP!), but rather it is, in fact, those odd things strewn about the gallery… a truth it took me much longer than a conversation with a bear-security guard to understand.

The squirrels of DC clearly live in fear us humans; their gargantuan oppressors. As I leaned close to one, moving as slowly as possible in a failing effort to remain unnoticed, it sat up, looked at me… and bounded over to see if I had any food. The people of DC, on the other hand, shot menacing glances when they discovered their photo being taken.