President Obama US Secret Service Pimp My Ride

“To anyone who is surprised by the misbehavior of the US Secret Service, you’ve obviously never met any of those agents, or the girls they exploited.” — Yasha Harari

“Top 10 Pimpin’ Presidential Protective Services jokes”

10. President Obama is so upset at the Secret Service for their prostitution ring, because he wasn’t invited.

9. #OccupySecretServiceProstitution – Because the Top 1% of Presidential Proective Services Agents should not own more than half of the U.S. Secret Service Sex Scandals.

8. Haiku: Secret Service Sex. Pimping is not a scandal, unless you get caught.

7. Patriotic Americans are proud that their taxes are paying for underprivileged Latina sex workers to be recruited into undercover protective services.

6. Due to the Presidential Protective Services prostitution scandal, US Secret Service details are now equipped with full-time chaperones.

5. Song Parody: Down on the corner, out in the street, Willy and his Secret Service colleagues, hiring local girls they meet.

4. Three Words: Got Secretly Serviced?

3. Economy: The US Secret Service issued a statement claiming that they hired prostitutes while overseas, as part of delivering a long-promised package of foreign aids.

2. Foreign Relations: America’s reputation was already so poor beyond its borders, that the President’s Protective Services claim they ran the prostitution party in order to show the world that they still enjoy meeting foreigners and strengthening discrete, diplomatic relations through backroom deals that promote feel-good, international trade.

… and the #1 Pimpin’ Presidential Protective Services joke is:

1. Slogan: US Presidential Protective Services: We’ll take a bullet for the head of state, and hire whores when we’re out of country.