A beautiful little book that I refer back to over and over again. One of those books you can read in an afternoon, but perhaps you will want to savorA beautiful little book that I refer back to over and over again. One of those books you can read in an afternoon, but perhaps you will want to savor it a little longer....more

Four simple agreements to make to yourself in order to live a truly free like. Awesome. Now, if only living by those agreements were as easy as readinFour simple agreements to make to yourself in order to live a truly free like. Awesome. Now, if only living by those agreements were as easy as reading about them...I guess I can only do my best!...more

A great little Sunday afternoon read - and really, that's all it took! I've been meaning to study up on the Tao and this cute little book did a nice jA great little Sunday afternoon read - and really, that's all it took! I've been meaning to study up on the Tao and this cute little book did a nice job of explaining the basics in a beautifully simple way. And really...who doesn't love Pooh?...more

I really loved this book. The characters felt very honest to me - very human. Sometimes you loved them, sometimes you didn't agree with what they wereI really loved this book. The characters felt very honest to me - very human. Sometimes you loved them, sometimes you didn't agree with what they were doing. Humorous and beautifully written. I hope to read more by Mohsin Hamid....more

I wish I had read this book a long time ago. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. is full of wisdom.

The bookI wish I had read this book a long time ago. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. is full of wisdom.

The book starts off by explaining the process of Nonviolent Communication which boils down to four steps:

1. Observe what's happening - what's really going on? What is happening or being said that you either like or dislike?2. Identify your feelings about it - anger, joy, hopeful, inspired, lonely?3. Figure out what need you have that is driving that feeling4. Ask for what you need (explicitly)

When you feel an emotional response to a situation, Rosenberg contends that it's always based on some unmet need. So figure out what that need is and then request (don't demand) for the other person to fulfill it. Use phrases like:

"Would you be willing to set the table?" rather than "Set the table."

So, that's the process of non-violent communication in a nutshell. He then goes on to talk about "communication that blocks compassion," such as moralistic judgements, making comparisons, communication that implies that we do not have responsibility for our own "thoughts, feels and actions," and communicating desires in the form of demands.

The next several chapters delve further into each step of the process. Using great examples from his own workshops and personal experiences, Rosenberg presents each step in a thoughtful and straightforward way with exercises at the end of each chapter to test your understanding of the subject matter.

The book then goes on to explain how to receive communication in an empathic way, which is based on those same principals, but now, your honestly trying to get to the bottom of the other person's needs to find out how you might be able to help fulfill them. He describes different ways that we prevent ourselves from being fully present for someone including: advising, one-upping, educating consoling, story-telling, shutting down, sympathizing, interrogating, explaining and correcting. And, the many benefits of empathy.Rosenberg refers to all of this compassion and need-filling as finding ways to "enrich our lives or the lives of others." I love that. When you approach every communication with that question, "how can I enrich my life or theirs?" it's amazing how differently you think about approaching a situation!

He says that "NVC's most important use may be in developing self-compassion." One way in which we do this is to recognize that we always have choice. Even if it feels like we don't - we do. There might be ramifications for not doing something that you feel you have no choice in, but you still choose to do it. And, once you realize that there's a choice and WHY you are choosing to do what you are doing, you may actually be able to find a better way - one that makes you happier.

One of the most important chapters in the book has to do with expressing anger. Rosenberg says that NVC doesn't suggest that you can't be angry about anything. Quite the opposite. If you're experiencing anger, you need to fully express it. However, you need to accurately identify the cause of your anger, which is always your own thinking - not someone else's actions. Their actions might have been the catalyst, but the emotion is your own. Then, you basically use the same four steps to work through your anger and attempt to get your needs met.

For me, an HR Lady, one of the most interesting chapters was "Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication." I've always felt like reward and recognition programs including praise and compliments in most workplaces don't usually provide the intended behavior changes. Now, I think I understand why - the intention behind these practices. Rosenberg states, "recipients of such praise do work harder, but only initially. Once they sense the manipulation behind the appreciation, their productivity drops. What is most disturbing for me, however, is that the beauty of appreciation is spoiled when people begin to notice the lurking entent to get something out of them." From my experience, I believe this is true. So, how do we provide meaningful appreciation? Rosenberg lays out three components:

1. "the actions that have contributed to our well-being."2. "the particular needs of ours that have been fulfilled."3. "the pleasureful feelings engendered by the fulfillment of those needs."

If the appreciation is delivered succinctly with all 3 of these components, then the receiver will be much more likely to realize that the appreciation is genuine.

Like I said in the beginning, I wish I had read this book a long time ago. I gained a lot of insight from this book and will definitely be doing more research and reading on nonviolent communication. I think I might order the workbook next.

I started this book yesterday morning and finished the last chapter of it this morning, so it's also a quick and easy read. I give it four stars out of five, only because some of the ways that he states certain questions when trying to take regular communication to the NVC process just do not sound real. I can't imagine someone saying some of the statements that he says we should use in real life and some of the things that he claims to have said to people actually sound pretty harsh to me. Perhaps they did get at the heart of an issue or reveal a "truth" but I'm not sure about the exact means used to get there. Overall a GREAT book!...more

I'm not sure if it was the writing/editing of these talks or just that I don't think Zen resonates with me, but this definitely was not one of my favoI'm not sure if it was the writing/editing of these talks or just that I don't think Zen resonates with me, but this definitely was not one of my favorite books. After studying Tibetan Buddhism, of which compassion is one of the ruling precepts, Zen seems extremely lacking in compassion and very rigid. The very abstract lessons presented throughout, made me silently shout, "GET TO THE POINT!" But, I think that was the point...you just have to experience life until you figure it out for yourself...but then why read the book?...more

I love that a program like this is going on in for-profit environments! The SIY program has most of the elements of Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSR program, butI love that a program like this is going on in for-profit environments! The SIY program has most of the elements of Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSR program, but this book is much more digestible than "Full Catastrophe Living," which I thought was good, but would probably never get read by most HR departments.

The jokes and cartoons are a little corny, but it does make the reading go by fast. Tan's light, joyful approach to the topic makes mindfulness very attractive, rather than something that could be considered a chore.

I highly recommend that anyone in HR or corporate training check out this book. Tan makes it pretty easy to at least take elements of this program, if not the entire program, and incorporate them into workplace mindfulness and/or leadership training and it focuses on the mind training/neurological elements of mindfulness and is "religion neutral" - perfect for the workplace.

An interesting book that is not in print anymore. Written in the 70's, I guess some of it is out of date (patients named Willo, a huge emphasis on theAn interesting book that is not in print anymore. Written in the 70's, I guess some of it is out of date (patients named Willo, a huge emphasis on the women's lib movement and references to computer cards and paper that feels like Xeroxed copies) but the basic principles presented are timeless. Life is not fair, bad things just sometimes happen, we have no choice but to deal with it and we should try to make things better. And, no one else can do it for us. Thus the title...the Buddha is within you, if you see him on the outside, he is a false Buddha. Nothing external can save you or fix you.

I still need to find out if Janis Joplin wrote Bobby McGee before or after Dr. Kopp wrote this book. He uses the line, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" without quoting or referencing it. I sang it as I read it :-)...more

It's not my favorite Jeffrey Eugenides book, but I'm glad I read it. Since I wasn't an English major, I was really glad when college was over (in theIt's not my favorite Jeffrey Eugenides book, but I'm glad I read it. Since I wasn't an English major, I was really glad when college was over (in the story) and we got to move onto "real life". Interesting characters and I actually really liked each of her male prospects, although was happy with the ending :-) I recommend it for anyone who is looking for a fairly light read, definitely not as dark as his other books (which I kind of missed)....more

A very useful book on dating and relationships for people who want to live an authentic life in the process. This was a very refreshing, no games, appA very useful book on dating and relationships for people who want to live an authentic life in the process. This was a very refreshing, no games, approach. It focuses on preparing yourself to date through doing a thorough inventory of both the person you want to meet as well as what you have to offer, and also preparing yourself for a healthy relationship by working out some of your past baggage. Written in 1999, the sections on writing personal ads, etc. is very dated and rather amusing. I've looked at several dating books over the years like "He's just not that into you", "The Rules", etc. and this one is by far the best. I'll have to report back later on whether it actually works! :-)...more

It took me over 4 months to read this book, but only because it was that rich. I wanted to read every delicious word and humorous line in this book. IIt took me over 4 months to read this book, but only because it was that rich. I wanted to read every delicious word and humorous line in this book. I'm sorry I missed our book club meeting on this one because I'd love to have a conversation about it now. What was Saleem's purpose? His ego seemed to be so large it was humorous. But then the ending...I was expecting some sort of twist that didn't happen, but perhaps that was, in fact, the twist. So interesting....

This book started off a little slow for me. As a friend stated, "it seemed like he was trying to work into the topic." However, as he got going he gavThis book started off a little slow for me. As a friend stated, "it seemed like he was trying to work into the topic." However, as he got going he gave so many great exercises and examples that it made the topic very accessible. I also like how Lama Surya Das puts a western spin on Buddhism, not dumbing it down in any way, but making it more relevant to the daily lives of Americans. He provides a lot of stories and examples that are very easy to relate to. This is definitely one that I'll keep on my shelf and return to again and again when I need exercises to help me get "unstuck" in particular areas....more

One of the great things about being in a book club is that it often makes me pick up books that I otherwise would have missed. I knew Gatsby was a claOne of the great things about being in a book club is that it often makes me pick up books that I otherwise would have missed. I knew Gatsby was a classic, but had never really felt the urge to read it. I'm glad I did. A quick read, interesting writing and lots of thought provoking statements. Satisfying!...more

This is one of the best non-fiction books I've read in a long time. Being a mindfulness follower myself and knowing what it does for me personally actThis is one of the best non-fiction books I've read in a long time. Being a mindfulness follower myself and knowing what it does for me personally actually makes it really hard to convince others of the science behind the practice. Tim Ryan gives us the scientific and experiential studies that have proven that mindfulness can help our nation in education, our military and first responders, in inner-cities and in politics where instead of lashing out against one another, we should be reaching out with compassion. I wish everyone would read this book before our elections in November! I'm off to write my representatives now......more

I loved the writing in this book. Chabon is wonderfully descriptive without overdoing it. I've seen this movie a few times and didn't realize it untilI loved the writing in this book. Chabon is wonderfully descriptive without overdoing it. I've seen this movie a few times and didn't realize it until I was about 50 pages into the book. I think they did a good job with the movie, but then you'd miss out on this great writing!

A whole lifetime of adventure in only one weekend. Exciting and funny and makes me a little jealous that I can't live the exciting life of a wonder boy myself ;-)...more

I got this one on audiobook because I wanted to be able to do the guided meditations. It's very interesting and feels more "scientific" than Buddha'sI got this one on audiobook because I wanted to be able to do the guided meditations. It's very interesting and feels more "scientific" than Buddha's Brain - perhaps it just felt that way because it was audio. I enjoyed the guided meditations though and look forward to repeating them....more

I've been doing so much Buddhist studying recently that I was actually hoping for more science and less "compassion, kindness and wisdom" in this bookI've been doing so much Buddhist studying recently that I was actually hoping for more science and less "compassion, kindness and wisdom" in this book. But, very interesting regardless. I know from my personal experience that meditation definitely does something positive. It makes me happier, more calm and I can remain more focused. This explains the science behind why that happens. Good to know! ...more

Say what you want, but the 2nd is better than the first. I agree with a friend of mine who said that it should have been one book though. Hot, creepy,Say what you want, but the 2nd is better than the first. I agree with a friend of mine who said that it should have been one book though. Hot, creepy, messed up...but then again, I also love watching True Blood :-)...more

I liked this book, but didn't love it. Khyentse explains in the prologue that he was purposely trying to make the language accessible to the masses, bI liked this book, but didn't love it. Khyentse explains in the prologue that he was purposely trying to make the language accessible to the masses, but he went a bit too far for my taste. I found some of it unnecessarily graphic like, "we are like monkeys that shit on the very branches we swing from." But, all in all, I do now have a better understanding of the 4 seals (I previously understood them to be 3 seals and he also explains that we may have understood it that way depending on who the teacher/school of Buddhism was). Looking forward to the discussion at book club!...more