I was born in a small town near the borderline
I was an atheist by the time I was nine
My mom was a Christian, to baptize me she tried
I laughed it off and said, just fuck off and die

I grew up fast but I was still short.
I was a fat kid, depressed and down
Till a curious book I was shown

It was written by a Zen Buddhist shrink
About souls and morals it got me to think
I read it on vacation somewhere
Its knowledge with my peers I wanted to share.

Till some idiots at school threw it in my hace
I soon started hating the Caucasian race
I hated the whole damn race.

There are Muslims to the left of me
And Christians to the right
A Sikh at the doorstep looking for a fight.
Bible over Dawkins, that might work for you
But what's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?
What's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?

Go fuck a goat, is what the kids roared
When I tried to push my religion on board
Dad, I said, I wanna have friends
My dad said, Son, follow current trends
The cool guys will rule, they score every night
Nicola, you must for your victories fight

Fighting: For your victories you must fight
Fighting: The cool guys rule
Fighting: Go on kick somebody's ass
Fighting: Don't try to teach them common sense
Just kick their asses, it rang in my ears.
I took up Sambo and trained for years
I lost a lot of weight, through biking and stuff
I even started shaving so I wouldn't have scruff.

I never lost a fight, and became a player
But in me burned a philosopher fire.
I wanted just one damn talk.

There are Christians in my school
And Catholics in the shed
A Muslim with a bomb heading straight for my head.
Bible over Dawkins, that might work for you
But what's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?
What's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?

In my final day in primary school
I was simply strolling and feeling cool
Thirty seconds later, I sat at a PC
And suddenly, I had evolution to see.

The website was good, and the theory right
It shed upon me rays of agnostic light.
My brain was boggled, and my heart was too
I shed away atheism as not entirely true.

My hatred crumbled, and I felt all right
Never I again would I need to fight
Till I see that heavenly light.

There are Muslims to the left of me
And Christians to the right
A Sikh at the doorstep looking for a fight.
Bible over Dawkins, that might work for you
But what's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?
What's a Pastafarian teen kid to do?
What else can an agnostic teenager do?