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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Superman.

This is a rough month. Husby is in a core hospital rotation and works 12 days on 2 off for the entire month. Not only is working twelve days consecutively hard enough, but he is on average at the hospital at 6am and gets home around 7pm. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later. But for the most part, that is his schedule.

Today, he went in at 4:30am (which means he had to wake up at 3:30am) and works until at least 7pm.

He is absolutely exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. He doesn't have it easy. He works with some extremely difficult people all while trying to learn the ropes of the hospital. On top of this crazy schedule, he has multiple presentations to do in front of entire Medical Boards and tests. When he is home, he often has to study or prepare for these things. He literally is forced to live and breathe medicine. Last month, he lived apart from us in an out of town rotation and we only saw him a few days a week.

I often hear people complain about Doctor's and/or groan of how they make too much money.

Ummmm....

What about the YEARS of complete torture they go through all for the sake of helping YOU?What about the horrible hours they work through residency and get paid near nothing for?What about the complete self sacrifice they have?What about the thousands of dollars they have in student loans to simply go through Medical School?What about the decade of their life that they devote to medicine? To society? To community? To humanity!

These people who voice their frustrations about Doctors simply have NO idea.

Husby walks in from work, completely zapped with a glazed look in his eyes. He sighs, "Hi Family..." as he kisses me and starts playing with Levi. He lays in the floor and gives Levi absolutely everything he has left in him as I put the finishing touches on supper. He tickles him, wrestles around with him, makes him giggle and Levi looks at him with complete admiration and love. I can't even explain it. It is the sweetest time of my day, watching them play together and love on each other.

Levi has no idea that he is tired, because Husby would never bypass him or give him a lackluster "play time". Husby gives 100% in everything he does. Everything. But in being a Daddy, he gives 101%. And in being a Husband, he gives 101%. And he will never know what that means to his son and his wife.

All Husby wants to do when he gets home is crash. But he doesn't. He talks with me, laughs with me, gets Levi fed and puts him to sleep. It's their special time together and Levi loves it - his face is in a constant state of delight as Daddy takes care of him before bedtime. Husby comes back in and we watch TV and relax together. He often falls asleep on the couch before making it to the bed. I have never seen him so tired! And he never ever complains. Of course, he tells me about his frustrations with work and I can see the physical exhaustion on his face and in his eyes, but he never complains. He knows what he has to do, and he does it. He is absolutely the most driven, self sacrificing, dedicated and unselfish person I know.

Husby, if you get a break in your day and you are reading this, KNOW how much Levi and I adore you. And appreciate you. I am absolutely so proud of your hard work and just who you are. Thank you for working so hard to provide for us. Thank you for giving us all you have. We love you to the moon and back.

I never comment although yours is my favorite blog. . .call me shy. But my husband is second year med school and I very much agree with your frustrations with "Oh, you married a doctor, you'll be rich and it'll be easy." Puh-leese. We're not even to rotations yet and it's already rough!

Oh my, I agree. Robst is in 3rd year and I'm not sure we would survive - add in working out to the 5:45-7 schedule ... I often eat dinner alone and see him for just a bit before I crash! It's amazing what and how they do it all :) Yay for your husband spending time with Levi! Superhero, indeed.

I am SO thankful for people in the medical profession. I think they deserve every bit of money they make. I hope that Husby will get an "easier" schedule soon. I'm glad you're being a supportive wifey!

Ahh, I feel like you are describing Russell, too! I can't imagine how hard these guys work all day long and can still come home with a bit of extra energy to give to their families. You've got a good man there. :)

AMEN to your comments about doctors. My husband is in his second year of med school, and the studying alone is a full-time job...I can't imagine what rotations will be like! This is a really sweet post...I am sure you blessed your husband with it!

I've heard people say that doctors get paid too much, but I find it hard to believe. In between student loans, long hours, and medical malpractice insurance they need to make some money. Not to mention that if you do the time you deserve the paycheck. I teach school and I've had a number of people say "you have an easy job - you get summers and holidays" and "you already get paid enough based on what you do". Um yes I have summers and holidays which I often spend in preparation and studying curriculums. Summers and holidays are sanity savers. I don't think people should criticize or voice their opinions until they've walked a mile in someone elses shoes. So thank your hubby for working so hard - we need good doctors.

P.S. - stumbled across your blog and love it - you are too funny sometimes

I agree with you in so many ways. Hang in there. These are hard years, I know. Dental school is similar, but not as long. If you need any advice on making it though these tough years, Kyle and Vanessa just finished and I am sure they would be happy to encourage you and Darin.

Most people think the life of a medical student/resident/doctor is champagne and bonbons.... but it isn't. And they also don't understand that we love our men for who they are not their career aspirations. Its not easy but it helps knowing that they are doing what they are called to do.

i think that anyone in the medical professions, do not get paid NEARLY enough. Seriously. Especially the doctors! I can't imagine the stress of each time you choose to diagnos someone or having a patient you've grown to care about die. You are right, doctors deserve SO much more than we give them :(

Sounds like you have a wonderful husband! I know how hard it is to have a husband who works so many hours & be alone at night after a full days work myself,taking care of babies alone, mine does too, many people work 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet, working just as many hours.

I couldn't agree more. Doctors exhaust themselves in every possible way, all to help people they don't even know beforehand, and they get a sad amount of flak for it. I remember how exhausted doctors and residents were at the hospital. I absolutely hated calling them at 2am. They sounded exhausted, but never complained. I really admire that. I hope Husby's hard work pays off - monetarily AND in the form of the appreciation he deserves!

i've heard stories from my grandmother when my grandfather was in his residency and how she worked at IBM (because she could actually type!) for i think a quarter an hour... and she was making more than him! drs definitely pay their dues and I'm thankful everyday for what my grandfather did for our family!

I've never commented before, but found your blog through a friend and have been enjoying reading it. Also, I apologize in advance if this comes off as harsh, I work in a field where bluntness is valued, so I have a hard time not being blunt and honest.

I'm going to bypass the "aww, how sweet comments" and deal with the pay issue. Never once have I heard someone say that doctors get paid too much. Yes, once you look at specializations the salaries are quite lucrative; but, lets compare that to what we pay professional athletes, singers, and actors. The latter 3 all make more than a doctor - that's just in salary, I'm not talking endorsements and special privileges. A doctor saves your life. Athletes, singers and actors don't do that. I just wish that our society paid other professions that have life changing effects a decent wage. Like teachers and police officers. As for student loans, I know that med school's are very, very expensive; but, there are other advanced degrees that cost a lot where you can never really hope to make a lot of money. (I should know, I'm in one of them).

Pam, not sure where actors, musicians, teachers, etc. fit into this post. I am not out to discuss their wage, simply discussing Dr.'s here. Not sure what you're trying to get across. I see firsthand what Dr.'s go through so I'm pretty sure everything I said is justified. And yes, I've heard time and again they're overpaid. And those people are uneducated on everything being a Dr entails and where their money goes. Loans, Liability, etc. The responsibilty of their job is a heavy weight to carry, more than most will ever experience in their life. That's just all there is to it.

This post made this momma's heart smile! So proud of D!!!! Yes; he is a fantastic daddy and husband. I can tell how thankful you are for him. He has always been a hard worker and very diligent at everything he does. On top of it all, he's a godly young man with a sweet and sensitive spirit. I know God has GREAT plans for all of you!

I just happened upon this and holy cow am I slapping you right into my reader. I'm engaged to an intern and we dated all the way through med school. Not only does he deserve a freaking medal for dealing with the BS and bureaucracy, but for the time, money and heart he has put in thus far. Although it should pay off in the end -- depending on current legislation, of course -- it has been utterly heartbreaking and frustrating to watch from the position of his significant other. At the same time, it's been so encouraging and wonderful and I am so thankful that there are people like your husband and Matt who are willing to essentially put their lives on hold in order to take care of their fellow man. And I don't think that anyone should be able to put a price tag or salary cap on what the 10+ years of their lives is worth./rant (geez I'm more opinionated and passionate about that than I originally thought. hmm.)

Hmm, I want to comment again. About the Dr thing, hope that's ok. I think that people say doctors get paid too much because of their own experience with doctors, which are sometimes not that great. There are definitely doctors out there who may come across as careless and only in it for the money. But honestly, I think that this is true for any profession. Thre are people who decided to get their job for the right reasons and some who didn't. Those people who worked hard to get where they are because it's something they felt passionate about deserve what they earn. It seems like this is true for your husband, and I wish him luck in med school.

I read your blog a lot (found it through Katie at Marriage Confessions) and like Katie and Chris, you and your husband are such an inspiration for having a healthy and loving marriages, while still acknowledging that you need to work at and put effort into your relationship.

Also, just looking a Pam's comment above, I'm pretty sure she was agreeing with everything you said; she was saying that when you consider the ridiculous amount that actors and athletes etc get paid, the salary doctors get is totally justified considering the important work they do, but that she wishes other professions that are valuable to the community (like teaching) were recognized and given a fair wage too.

Being a nurse at a hospital, I think that med students and interns/residents do the most number of hours and the most amount of work (and either PAY to go to school or get paid almost nothing). Hopefully your husband is in the hardest part (hours-wise) of it now. My primary care doctor (who works part-time and is only on call every third weekend) said that medical school and internship was the hard part--the doctoring part was "easy" in comparison. I know that that her experience isn't the same for every doctor, but I certainly hope your husband has the same experience! (I'm not trying to downplay the role of a doctor--just a doctor has the option of working part-time, if he/she wants. I don't think you have that option in medical school!) In the meantime, I'm so glad that he has a supportive wife and a beautiful boy to come home to. I'm sure THAT (along with his faith in God) is what gets him through those long days.

And I couldn't agree more about pay and doctors. This is one of my biggest problems with current legislation (and yours too, I would guess!). People have just no idea how much it takes to become a doctor! One of my best friends is a 2nd year med student, and before she started she was in the camp of doctors are paid far too much/I want to work in a public health clinic/I want to give all my services away. That's all fine and well, to volunteer, but after just a few years in school she has changed her tune. You spend a decade in school, paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans, sacrficing family time all the while. It's a noble profession and people should see that!

I guess I was more passionate about this than I thought. :) I just wrote a novel. But I hate when people are "blunt" about things like this, as the commenter above. "Blunt" like this is a way to be rude with excusing yourself by "telling it like it is".

I personally do not think most doctors get paid ENOUGH, especially when you think what we pay our movie stars and athletes. Sounds like you have an amazing man Whitney. Tell him to keep it up.. Someday it will all be worth it!

What a great post! My husband is not in the medical field but in his line of work he usually does the 12+ hour shifts all the time so I understand the demand they put it. I can't believe that people would say that doctors don't get paid enough. I recently went through surgery and I can't sing the praises of my doctor loud enough. Without our doctors a lot of us wouldn't be here!!

I, of course, totally agree!!! I won't feel bad for an instant about the money my hubby will make once he's out of residency! We've been sacrificing for years and years! Not only money, but time, stress, exhaustion! It's a huge sacrifice and for anyone to say our hubbies aren't worth every penny is out of their mind!

And another thing-- if you add up all of the hours they work, plus tuition for undergrad, med and specialty school, it's averages out to below the poverty line! So to those who think they make too much, get real!

I can totally relate to you and your family. We just had a baby girl, June 7th. My husband is in his final stages of completing his Dr. of Pyschology. He just passed (a week ago) his licensure exam! So we are starting to see the light at the end of tunnel and it feels good. So hang in there - I realize pyschology is a whole different ball game then medical - but I can relate to you in so many ways! jlfrey.blogspot.com

Hello, Darlings!

I am a thirty-something girl who has dreamed of having babies and making a warm and enchanting home all of her life. After 12 years of school, 4 years of college and 4 years of the workforce, I finally reached my goal and am living my dream. God has blessed me with the most endearing Husby in all the land and he is a Sports Medicine Physician fulfilling his own dream. We have a bubbly little boy named Levi and an adorable baby boy named Ezra, who bring us constant joy and bundles of giggles. Join the four of us, as we walk through the journey of life one dazzling day at a time.