Tuesday, May 22, 2012

to Guatemala this summer. Oh I can not wait...
Carson told me today he wants to go with me. I quickly replied, "Carson when you get a little older you can come with me." He said, "Mommy, I will be six in a few months."

Friday, May 18, 2012

A blog friend sent me an email asking,
"Gret how are you making out since May 3"
well....
I am praying all the time
I am smoothering carson and cinderella
Crying
Laughing
Not talking
withdrawn at times
mad
talking with some people about it
wondering why
thinking about the future (should we try ONE more time)
Wondering what it will be like when I see my baby in heaven
taking one day at a time
I get pretty made at someone for taking years away from me that I can not get back
trying to figure out if I should keep the stuff that I already purchased for the new baby or give it away
waking up in the middle of the night thinking it was just a dream
watching my stomach go back to it normal size
worrying that something awful is going to happen to my children
asking Jonathan a million questions that he can not answer
asking my Dad the same questions hoping he will have the answers