Friday, December 4, 2009

Ramblings

It never seems to fail, I will and have always done what ever it is that my fam has asked me to do. No matter how much I didn't want to or if I was sick, tired, or busy doing something. So why does it seem that anytime I need something and ask of them I can never get the same type of dedication to me as i have to them. Am I wrong for feeling unappreciated? Even when I have my own problems, my struggles I still put theirs ahead of mine, and I truly never ask for much. Really appreciation is always enough. I too have needs, and there have been countless times were I put what I needed to do aside to help others out. Kinda why I'm in the situation I'm in right now, but there's nothing that can be done about that. And it's so much more than just doing shit for others, I sometimes feel that I have literally lived my life to make sure others are happy and proud of me, but for what when I'm constantly shitted on? Now I love my family with all my heart but seriously I'm 27 time for me to do what's best for me, yet I feel bad for even feeling this way. Sad to say the same thing that causes me the greatest joy also causes me the greatest pain. I'm probably the most private guarded person I know and this type of blog is way out of character for me, but theres only so much a man can keep bottled up before he begins to self destruct. And in the famous words of Charlie Murphy "I can't go out like that jack!"