So, just like in 2005 and again in 2008 I went to a movie theater at midnight last night to watch a Christopher Nolan Batman movie. While I had misgivings about all three movies going in and I had issues with some of the characterizations in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight I genuinely thought they were some of the best interpretations of Batman on film. The Dark Knight Rises, however, was easily the worst of the three.

Let me warn you now, there will be spoilers in this. So if you haven’t seen the movie yet and plan to, you may want to not read this.

There, now that the warning is out of the way let me highlight a few issues I had with the film. As the movie opens we are introduced to a Batman 8 years older than the one we last saw in The Dark Knight. He walks with a cane, has a goatee, and has generally hid himself away in his castle. This in itself didn’t bother me too much. 8 years of crime fighting can take its toll on a man. However it is made clear in the movie that the Batman quit after the death of Harvey Dent 8 years ago. Since The Dark Knight seems to follow right on the heels of Batman Begins that means in the short time he has sustained serious physical damage. Damage explained in a funny little scene at the hospital. Where did these injuries come from? It’s never explained and it really made no sense.

John Blake, rookie cop and quick friend of both Batman and Gordon seems to have figured out that Harvey Dent was the real killer and Batman took the fall for him. He even confronts Bruce at his home. However when that knowledge is confirmed by Bane he becomes disgusted with Gordon for the choice he made. How could he not have known if he knew Batman was really a good guy? Then there’s the thing at the end where his real name is Robin. Really Nolan? Really? I wish he would have kept his word about not trying to work Robin in.

Big bad Bane has to wear a mask to ease the pain of some kind of injury he sustained in a deep dark prison. But how is that even possible? What could a mask possibly do for the kind of injury that would involve chronic pain? Also he has this great persona as the man who fears nothing and can do anything. It’s built through the movie until the twist ending. The creation story wasn’t about him at all. So what makes him the way he is anyway? Don’t know, guess I’m not supposed to care either.

Which leads to Miranda Tate who is, like every fanboy knew, Talia. This isn’t revealed until the last 15 minutes of the film. She had continued to hide who she was even when they did not fear a return of Batman. They were sure he would never get out of the hole they left him in. So why keep up the charade? I don’t know, and again, I guess I’m not supposed to care.

Then there’s the question of how did Bruce get back to Gotham from the pit he was cast into? He was bankrupt, had no ID, no money, and no friends. He’s on a different continent but manages to get back in time to save Gotham. How did he pull that off? Magic I guess.

This isn’t an exhaustive list of my issues with the movie but it’s what comes to mind 17 hours later (and on only a couple hours of sleep). Maybe Batman will be better after the reboot.