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What it's like to have never been in love

In your 20s, you are in this weird limbo. Half of your friends are engaged to be married or in very serious partnered relationships, and the other half…well, aren’t. It’s this strange game of roulette every time you go on Facebook. Are you going to see a new engagement post or your bestie’s latest selfie collage from last night’s party? These days there’s no telling.

Some people get discouraged when they see all the smiling faces and new bling on their sorority sister’s left hand. But for me, it’s never been anything more than simple click on the “like” button and on to the next cat video. See I’m 21, never been in love, and for whatever strange reason, I’m not too mad about it.

Before you go assuming I’m some hermit that has not left my house for 21 years, give me the same courtesy as Kevin Hart and “let me explain.” It’s not like I haven’t dated. But none of the people I’ve gone out with were the one. Or even could have been the one.

It recently clicked for me: Why am I so eager to start the rest of my life? I’m 21; I need to focus on right now, not tomorrow. Honestly, I need to focus on loving myself more than trying to figure out how to love a stranger.

Being in love is the cool thing to do. It seems like finding “the one” so simple, it literally is a swipe right or left. However, I’ve chosen to swipe left on this nonsense, because somewhere along the countless apps, and late night DMs, I realized love no longer means the same thing it used to, to me.

I know that online dating is the way that you find that person, but, honestly, it’s a lot of work. It’s a daunting task to endlessly swipe right or left. I know that I don’t have time for it right now. Instead, I’ve been focusing on what’s in front of me. I’ve made connections with all kinds of people, but none of them has quite turned into love. That’s OK. I have so much time to do it. In my 21 years old, I have met a plethora of people that I have gotten to know as friends and I love them in a different way.

Being too picky has never been an issue for me, because at the end of the day, I get what I was hoping for, no surprises. I’m content making relationships with people that I know will go further than three dates. I’m happy with my choice to really get to know people, and see how it pans out. Love hasn’t been in the cards yet, but there’s no reason it won’t be.

Being single and not in love is not the worst thing; it’s actually a blessing, because when you meet the right person, it will be worth the wait.