Archive for the ‘Free stuff!’ Category

Crazy dude: Hey, can I have a sample?Barista: I'm sorry?Crazy dude: A sample of your coffee.Manager: Sir! I told you last week not to come in here anymore.Crazy dude: Huh?Manager: Don't you remember when you threw a cup of coffee, hot coffee, at one of my baristas?Crazy dude: No.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Flea

Headline by: drkipper

Runners-Up:· “I Was Just Venti-ng” – fuvvcckkk· “In His Defense, No One Else Thinks That It’s Really Coffee Either” – Peter G.· “Naomi Campbell’s Lesser Known Brother Strikes Again” – Jakal· “The Sequel to “Memento” Lacks the Narrative Drive Of the First” – Toby· “You Should See What He Did at the Sex Shop Down the Street” – Charlie

College guy: Is that free cotton candy?College girl: I don't know.College guy: Oh no, you gotta pay for it.College girl: Come on, let's go.College guy: I don't even like cotton candy.College girl: Then why did you make us stop?College guy: Did you not hear me say “free”?

MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.

Hippie girl: Free hugs! We're giving out free hugs today! (to preppy guy on park bench) Hey! Would you like a free hug today?Guy: No, thank you.Hippie girl: Why not?Guy: Actually, I just had a minor surgical procedure on my abdomen. I shouldn't hug anyone until it heals.Hippie girl: Well, that sucks. A hug might make you feel better, though!Guy: I'm pretty sure that a hug would open up the incision on my abdomen from the surgical procedure. I'm told this would increase my odds of infection. Thanks anyway, though.

Slightly older and hairier gay: So, just to be clear, you do realize that you are a total twink, right?Slightly younger and hairless gay: Duh. And I'm gonna ride that train all the way to free-drink town.