Shy co-worker prefers e-mail

By Sharon Ryan, FreelanceSeptember 24, 2009

Dear Sharon: I've noticed that one of my peers has a serious case of shyness and uses e-mail for everything. He seldom speaks face-to-face to me. I'd like to get to know him better, but communicating by e-mail all the time doesn't advance our professional relationship. Should I take the plunge and answer his e-mails in person? H.

Not surprisingly, extroverts prefer using media that is high in richness, like face-to-face or phone calls, whereas introverts prefer using media that is low in richness, like e-mail. The reason is that extroverts have developed the social skills through years of practice of handling verbal communications with ease. Introverts do not have this high level of skill and so prefer media that presents a lower risk of misunderstandings.

However, there is one exception to this rule. Both extroverts and introverts are comfortable using media that is high in richness in non-threatening and low-stress situations.

So if you want to talk face-to-face with your peer, choose a topic that is non-threatening and low in stress like asking him an easy question pertaining to his area of expertise, for example.

Managers can use this research as a guide as to when to approach individuals in person or by e-mail. Assess each employee's personality traits and use the above insights as guideposts.

Regardless of personality traits, however, managers should nearly always use face-to-face communications in delivering sensitive bad news. Using e-mail or, even worse, silence for these occasions is considered highly inappropriate because it basically says, "I'm only interested in you as a product, and I don't care about you as a person."

Sharon Ryan is an adjunct professor of management sciences at Concordia University College of Alberta.