Setting Up SSL Endpoints Sucks

Purchasing and installing a SSL Certificate on your Heroku instance is fraught with peril. You have to make determinations about keysizes, generate CSRs, differentiate between FQDN's and common names and fill out fields on a command line correctly or face rejection in the form of an obscure error message.

Then, even if you've done all that right, you can still easily install the cert in some subtly wrong way that shows everyone who hits your site a terrifying warning message