From the back woods to your altar.

Category Archives: Myself

In light of all the controversy going on in the gaming community over gender equality, I would like to share some things with all you fine people.

Firstly, if I want to play as a dude in a game, I’m going to play as a dude. I don’t care that some games have the main character as a guy or a girl. I’m playing to enjoy the game.

I had a conversation with someone recently dealing with the new Borderlands game coming out Oct. 14th. For those of you not familiar with the Borderlands franchise let me give you a quick rundown. In Borderlands 1 you play as a vault hunter. You’re looking for a massive treasure with lots of loot. In Borderlands 2 you are a vault hunter that must stop the villain, Handsome Jack. In these games you can play as a male or female. In the first installment of the game you have the options of Brick, Roland, Lilith or Mordecai. They all have different skill sets and special actions. None of them are alike in the least. When I play a game, I usually go for tank or sniper so obviously I would pick Brick or Mordecai. Their stats and action skills are set to those specific gameplay styles.

Mordecai, Lilith, Brick, Roland

In Borderlands 2 you can choose Axton, Slavador, Maya, or Zer0 (Krieg and Gaige came with downloads). For this game I had two choices for “tank:” Salvador the Gunzerker or Krieg the Psycho. The sniper or rogue character was Zer0. Now the skills and actions are a little different from the tradition tags of tank or rogue/sniper, but it’s the same idea. Salvador’s action skill is to wield two weapons at once; any gun could be paired with any other type of gun. Krieg had his buzz axe which made melee such a thrill. Zero has sniper stats, but his action skill was to make a clone so you could get some distance from your enemies or (as you built up your skill tree) to keep melee actions going so long as it was a one hit one kill or enemies were present.

Axton, Maya, Salvador, Zer0, Gaige, Krieg

Now in Borderlands The Pre-Sequel, it takes place on Pandora’s (the planet the previous games take place on) moon, Elpis. You are helping the villain from BL2 (Handsome Jack) take his place over the Hyperion company. It’s like an origin story, but in space with the most kick ass villain I’ve fought against except you’re not fighting against him. You learn the backstory of how Jack got to power in the Hyperion Company. In this game you can play Wilhelm (a boss in BL2), Athena (a former ally from a DLC in BL1), Nisha ( a boss from BL2) and everyone’s favorite robot Claptrap (or CL4P-TP Interplanetary Ninja Assassin).

Not his official title.

Now the decisions for these characters are a bit taxing. There’s no set label such as the tank, rogue, magic user, etc. So right now, I don’t know who I am going to play. I’m leaning more toward Wilhelm because of his drone action skill. I will go more into The Pre-Sequel in a later post.

But this brings me back to the conversation I had. I was explaining all this to a person who does not play video games. Yes, she has played a few but it’s not her hobby. I told her about the characters and the vast amount of options you had with each one. It was kind of cool to have someone listen to me babble on and on about a game that wasn’t my husband. She paused for a moment and asked,” Which character are you going to play?”

I responded that I didn’t know, but was thinking of Wilhelm or Claptrap. Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head a little. “You’re not going to play a girl character?”

What? I… don’t think so… I don’t like their gameplay styles. I might when I do a second playthrough just to get the experiences for that particular character. What she said next made me realize that gaming related gender issues come out of the community and leak into the rest of the world… at least a little anyway.

“But you’re a girl. Why wouldn’t you want to play a girl character? The people who made the game put the girls in there so chick gamers can play as a chick.”

Me^

I’ll admit that game developers have come a long way to include the female gender in the gaming world, but that’s not the reason there are female protagonists in games. For instance you have women like Mrs. Pacman, Lara, Faith, Samus, Sonya…. I could keep going. Some games you don’t have a choice but to play a female just as there are games where the main character is a male. If the game gives me a choice, I’m going to play the class I feel will get me the best results in the game. Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Skyrim, and Fallout are wonderful examples of what I like most about picking a character. You can be a guy or a girl while customizing that character to your specs. It’s freakin’ awesome.

So while I don’t mind playing as a female character in most games, I will pick a character to play that I feel will benefit me most in the game. If I like what that character’s stats are then I will pick them. The gaming world has become largely more inclusive to women in the recent years and I’m glad that I’m here to take advantage of that opportunity. Just don’t think differently of a person by the character they play.

There are many stories that stick with us as we grow up. They remind us of happier times sitting down and either watching it unfold or letting it bloom in our minds as we read the words printed in a book. It’s a strange thing, growing up. We forget we’re doing it and one day we look back and mourn the loss of childhood. Some of us have children in the underlying hopes that we live, once more, what we had long ago. We share those stories we promised ourselves never to forget; the stories that made us immortal in our minds.

We were superheroes, wizards, cowboys, fairies, robbers, ninjas, and pirates. We had sword fights and shootouts. We scaled castle walls and crawled through trenches. There was no impossible with us. Towels served as capes just as couch cushions were the impenetrable walls to our fort. We were gods among men.

But the clock ticked by while we danced and played to our heart’s content, and we had to grow up. There’s one story that keeps me sane through this growing up that I’m going through: The tale of a boy who could fly. For me, my earliest memory of the story was *When the first baby laughed for the first time, its laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies* -JM Barrie

It wasn’t just JM Barrie’s tale alone that drilled its way into my life, but the continuation of the story by James V. Hart. The movie *Hook* taught me a few things about growing up. Peter Pan grew up. He fell for the same trick Time pulled on us… he lived for the adventure. Yes, Peter grew up, but he showed us that it’s okay to go back. It’s alright to pretend and play.

It seems most of us are waiting for our next adventure when we grow up. We keep waiting and waiting and get drawn into the limbo of just pushing through and thinking something huge is coming. So when is it coming? It’s not unless you go get it.

For some, that adventure is getting a new home. It could be moving to a new place or buying your own car. Sometimes, it’s dying. Death is the next great adventure for people who have had their share of adventures in this life. We should never fear death, but we should also cherish life. It can be hard at times and people go on that next adventure way before they’re due. Others suffer at their expense. When life becomes more of a burden, that decision to end it is the final choice for some.

Never take that final choice as the answer. There are troubling times in our lives for a reason. They are adventures that you, as the hero, must overcome and defeat.

All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. -William Shakespeare

No one should ever take their exit early. Always remember you have a part to play no matter how big or small. There is always help and a hand waiting to help you back up. Look around. There are more people around you who have ventured in their minds and dared to imagine that next adventure. I’m one, but I have a pillar I can lean on. Everyone does. Just look. Father Time is the only one who decides when we can rest between journeys. Trust him and your next quest will be amazing.

Alright so it’s not across a body of water that this happened, but when you think about the amount of time and the distance, it sure as hell feels worlds apart. It the strangest thing when you work so hard to physically and spiritually try to banish someone from your life and all of a sudden they’re there. The exhaustion I felt trying to push everything about this person out of my mind, sight, and touch was immense. I thought I had accomplished it. There was no trace of this person left, or so I thought.

There was a bond I had with a particular person that ran deep. She was my sister in crime. We were a pair that would hardly be seen separately. From middle school to graduation, it was the typical best friends forever relationship, but as always the real world reared its ugly head and adulthood slammed down on us. I noticed I didn’t want to let go of that connection I had with, not only her, but everyone else in our circle. Things took a very horrible turn.

Sometimes women lose friends due to the men they allow into their lives. Sometimes they don’t realize it until it’s too late that something is wrong. I think this is one such situation. Mind you, this is just from my point of view. I can’t speak for others, especially her. I noticed one day the man she brought into her life was a bit off. Next thing you know, they’re married and she’s moving. There was a cacophony of deceit and lies that I don’t wish to elaborate on, but will admit their origins of the previously mentioned male. She disappeared after a nasty incident that involved a hospital trip. This man was poison and I didn’t have a way to tell her. I felt helpless.

Some time went on and just a couple of days ago, I get a message on Facebook from her. I was frozen as I read her words over and over. It saddens me to say that she had lost a best friend and that loss made her remember me. I had to think for a while of what I was going to say. She basically apologized and asked to rekindle our friendship. After going through some more drama brought on by people I thought were my friends, I was a bit iffy but grateful that someone would overcome so much to contact me again. It was very heartfelt and sincere. I couldn’t have asked for better. It’s crazy how hard I worked to get her out of my life. I did ask some advice from a close friend and as a result I responded. I broke a barrier I had put up for so long and worked so long to reinforce. You know what, though… it was totally worth it. I think things are going to get better.

Sometimes you can’t fight the universe. Things will happen and, as a superior species, we will adapt. It’s just up to you whether you want to accept it or not. I chose to accept it. I choose not to regret it.

If you would like to read the first part, please click here: https://aradialecrawe.wordpress.com/2012/12/28/these-are-the-books-that-put-me-where-i-am-part-1/

So this is the second part of my book list. These are books that have stuck with me throughout the years and I still love reading to this day. Granted, they aren’t a complete list, but a list of those that I recommend to the reader.

Night by Elie Wiesel

This is one of those haunting books of a first hand experience in Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps during the Holocaust. You get chills as you read his account of how he survived with his father through the nightmarish occurrences they went through.

This is Buchenwald. You can see Elie on the 2nd row, 7th from the left.

It’s the first in a series that Elie has written and the second is called Day. This was a book that everyone in my high school received for a school wide reading program. Everybody participated in activities and projects in each class revolving around the book itself. It was quite sobering and amazing to learn what happened in concentration camps. I would suggest this for high school students and up as reading material. Go through the internet and find notes and classes on this book and you won’t regret it. For a synopsis and history here is the Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_(book)

The Beaded Moccasins by Lynda Durrant

This is another sobering story of a young girl named Mary Campbell. She lived with her family in Pennsylvania and on her 12th birthday is kidnapped by Delaware Indians. She must struggle through not letting the memory of her family go and accepting her place among the Native Americans. Now when I was young, this hit me hard because I tried to imagine what it would have been like for me if I were taken away like Mary. It was an emotionally hard book to read but extremely worth it. I absolutely adore this book and hope my nieces will enjoy it too.

A Long Way from Chicago by Richard Peck

Good news! It’s not a sad book! It’s actually the opposite. This was another school reading program book we received in high school. It was a good year when I read this. It’s a novel of funny short stories involving two children named Joey and Mary Alice. Every summer they visit their grandmother in Illinois and experience some of the best adventures. There are eight short stories in this book and they’ll make you laugh and cry and go back for more. This book helped me connect better with my grandfather who lived through the Great Depression ( the era in which the book was written) after a small confusing conversation with him. I tried to tell him I was reading the book and since he was hard of hearing he told my aunt that I thought the Great Depression only happened in Chicago…… Bless my grandfather, I love him so. There is a second novel called A Year Down Yonder where Mary Alice stays with her grandmother. I really recommend reading these to your children and teach them a little about the Great Depression. You’ll be surprised.

Abarat by Clive Barker

I want to thank my friend Ashlee for introducing me to this book. She always knew where to find the most interesting books that got me hooked. Abarat is about a girl named Candy Quackenbush who is whisked away to Abarat where she learns there is more to her than she knew. It’s an amazing stories with the most colorful characters you could imagine. The plot will keep you reading. You will fall in love with and realize how much you can hate certain characters. It is a three part series with the second book called Days of Magic Nights of War, and a third (which took him forever to release) called Absolute Midnight. These books are fantastic for all ages. I encourage all of you to fall in.

Harry Potter by JK Rowling

Are you surprised I’ve made it this far without talking about Harry? I thought I would save the best for last. These books have been with me for almost fifteen years and I have loved every second of it. They are my second love after Jesse, they were first but you know…. Jesse. I’m glad he loves them almost as much. In sixth grade my science teacher, Mrs. Wilson, sat at the front of the class and one day started reading the books to us. From the first sentence I was drawn in. She only got through the first or second book that year, but as the months went on I started reading them on my own. I even got my dad into them. She is the main reason I love Harry Potter and keep it close. I don’t give her enough credit, but she was one of those teachers that stick with you through life. I don’t think I need to explain the plot or synopsis of these books. They were a big part of my life and still are to this day.

Thank you, JK.

So now you have seen the books that played a large part in my growing up. Do you remember the stories from your childhood? Can you name any that left an imprint on you?

As a kid, I was a hell of a reader. I remember going to the library in elementary school and checking out the same books over and over again. Middle school and high school I was able to buy my own books. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but people will tell me they remember me in school with a book in my hands or hunched over drawing. I’m grateful my parents always let me buy books from the scholastic catalog that they would hand out in school. It was like Christmas for me. Nowadays, a lot of parents don’t encourage enough reading. It’s the video game era and children are glued to the television. I know, I know. I play tons of video games, but I always make time to read. I have a library of books that contain a little bit of everything. It’s good not to limit yourself to one genre. Reading can make you more intelligent so why wouldn’t you read all the time? Nothing gets me more agitated than someone who is illiterate and cannot use proper grammar. If I just met a person and they tell me they have never picked up a book or hate to read, I immediately have a NOPE moment and walk away.

How can you not get excited from this?

I’m glad books and reading are becoming more popular recently. I’m not glad that it’s books that are trash. Snooki? Really? For shame. Don’t get me started on Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey/Gray….whatever. Firstly, Twilight isn’t literature. It is a fanfiction by a middle aged woman. Secondly, Fifty Shades is a porn about a rich brat with mommy issues. Give me some credit though. I tried with all my might to read them. Now before I get assassinated by Twitards, let’s move on.

The first books I remember reading are the American Girl series.

These be mah bitches.

The elementary school I attended had ALL the books. I read ALL of them….well, what they had in the mid-nineties. My favorites were Samantha and Molly. If you want your little girls to have a good influence, put these books in her hands. They have good morals and wonderful story lines. They teach what life is like with each girl: the struggles, the good times, historical events. I would want my daughter to read these instead of something by Justin Beiber.

After these I moved on to some Newberry Award winners:

Oh, this book… I’m gonna fangirl

I was soooo addicted to this book in school. It’s a historical fiction that takes place in 1832. The main character is a thirteen year old girl named Charlotte who is traveling from England to Rhode Island. She finds out that she is the only passenger and female on the ship, which is call the Seahawk. This girl was raised in an upper-middle class family. Meaning she never really had to work for her things, therefore; she’s narrow minded and naive to the world of those who are below her. It’s one of those transformation stories that has twists and turns all throughout it. It teaches you the hardships of being a sailor, what it’s like to sail, and describes what overthrowing a horrible power feels like.

The Feels

This is the book based on the movie adaptation that came out in 2002. Wonderful movie. I loved Sissy Spacek as Mae Tuck. It’s a book that teaches the hard decisions accompanying immortality. No, not vampires. It’s about a family who stumbles upon a fountain of water under a tree in the forest. The water gives them everlasting life. Enter Winnie Foster who falls in love with the family and later learns their secret. She goes out of her way to protect them from a nasty villain. Soon she is left with a difficult decision. This book will bring you to tears.

Who doesn’t love a good WWII story

This book is based in Copenhagen, Denmark during WWII in 1943. It’s about a girl named Annemarie Johansen. I cannot give a short description because there is too much to say. So here is the Wiki entry http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_the_Stars

I hope the schools still let children read stories from WWII in the future.

This book is the first in a five book series. If you’re looking for the second, it’s call Skylark. It is a bit difficult to read for some children, but the end result is worth it. It shows that if you have to deal with a drastic change, you might get used to it and eventually come to accept and love it.

So there are the first five. I’ll have another five ready soon. If there are any books that made an impact on you in your childhood, please share. Maybe someone will take your suggestion and share it with their children.

Last year for the Solstice, Jesse and I did a small ritual where we welcomed the sun’s return. This year due to working schedules, we were only able to a quick and simple ritual at the end of the day. Usually we burn a Yule or Juul Log in the stove and celebrate with all sorts of food, drink and stories as it burns. In our current situation we could only do something small. Hopefully in the future we can celebrate the way we want.

Christmas was quite surprising this year. I did have to work on Christmas Eve, which resulted in my crying to the managers because some vile woman called me every insult imaginable. Retail is awful. Nonetheless, Jesse and I were able to visit family that night and enjoy each others company the rest of the evening. It was when I woke up that Christmas really set in.

I heard music coming from the television. Bing Crosby crooning in the air and rustling by the Christmas tree. I sat up to see Jesse had bought a CD and thought he would wake me up by playing it. Best way to wake up on Christmas morning. I was suddenly buried beneath wrapped presents he tossed onto the bed. I didn’t realize he had gotten so many.

So many goodies.

Pictured are: A stuffed Fizzgig, a Chamberlain figurine, a tarot card bag, a pendulum made of quartz, a cast iron cauldron, WWII Monopoly, and special edition of the first season of Game of Thrones complete with Dragon Egg.

Oh it was wonderful. I got him a few things too. A leather bound, gold edged copy of The Hobbit; a special order from Paladium Books consisting of three or four RPG books (all signed), a tshirt and sketchbook from one of the artists; and finally a complete strategy book including DLCs of Skyrim.

I think it turned out to be a wonderful Christmas and I wish everyone else enjoyed theirs as much as I did mine.

On Sunday in Florida we decided we were going to see the old fort in the bay area of St. Augustine.

Castillo de San Marcos National Monument

“The Spanish for, begun in 1672, stood firm against English attacks and helped Spain to hold Florida for many years. During the American Revolution, it was a British stronghold. Later it became a battery in the U.S. coastal defense system.”

I love old places and as you go down San Marcos Ave. before turning onto the Lion Bridge you see this stone wall stretching across the coastline. It was absolutely awesome to see all of the canons, people volunteering in period dress, watching the canon fire and listening to the volunteers speak Spanish. We didn’t take the tour, but we wandered throughout the fort hither and thither among the peoples.

Jesse’s face.

The fort flies the Burgundian Saltire flag. It is one of six that the Castillo has flown throughout its history.

Carving of a ship on the wall inside the barracks.

Canon!!

Firing of a canon.

This is where you would dip your fingers in holy water before entering the chapel.

This is an aerial view of the fort. I got the picture from the wiki page. It is gorgeous all around and I’m hoping when we go back, we can do the ghost tour. At least there aren’t eight flights of stairs to climb.

The next morning we watched the sunrise over the ocean while walking along at high tide. We collected sand, shells, and seawater while watching joggers and early morning surfers. It was the best vacation I could have asked for. Jesse made sure to take me to all the places he had been when he was a child and shared stories. We hope to go back and fish off the pier. So we said goodbye to St. Augustine.

If you ever go to St. Augustine, you will for sure see the iconic lighthouse.

This is the same lighthouse that was featured on the show Ghost Hunters a few years back. They caught some pretty good stuff. Jesse and I did the Dark of the Moon Tour that takes place after dark. It’s a ghost hunting tour that takes you into the lighthouse and museum across the way. I didn’t have a really good camera at the time so I didn’t get any good photos. Our guide’s name was Matt, who is amazing with groups of people. He is also a huge Doctor Who fan. I will put up pictures from their Facebook page and leave the link below.

The photographer is this particular photo is unknown to the employees of the lighthouse, but you can see a peeking figure looking over one of the landings.

Ah! Eyeballs!

A lady named Liz Mahmoud took this and enhanced it. It’s believed to be one of the little girls who drowned.

It’s things like this that happen on a daily basis in the lighthouse and the caretaker’s house. Jesse and I didn’t experience much other than readings on our EMF detectors. Honestly… I’m a smoker and I’m not in the best of shape. I will NEVER climb the lighthouse again unless I’ve quit smoking and got into better shape. By the fifth landing, I didn’t care what was gonna happen. Ghosts or whatever couldn’t have bothered me at that point. I was too exhausted.

If you ever go to St. Augustine, stop at the lighthouse. You will not regret making it to the top and looking over the ocean. Even at night it’s amazing. Ask for Matt.

So… after we went to the Alligator Farm, we took our happy selves to the Ripley’s museum on the main land. It’s on San Marco Avenue and right outside the gates is a Chinese statue.

Sooo pretty

Since I was a wee girl I loved Ripley’s Believe it or not. I used to check out books by Robert Ripley from the library. This was really a dream come true. I love love love oddities and strange artifacts from around the world. Jesse had never seen me fangirl that much in a long time. How about some pictures?

Vampire Killing Kit

This is a vampire killing it from around 1840. The little plaque says: Stories involving people rising from the dead, drinking blood, and changing into bats have persisted in Europe for hundreds of years. Known as “vampires”, these ghoulish creatures can only be warded off or killed in a small number of ways according to legend. Travelers often carried a vampire killing kit like this set, which contains everything one would need to vanquish a vampire.

Chinese Mice Wine

Coal from the Titanic

Soon we entered a more gory part of the museum and one of my favorites: Torture devices and the like.

African Mask made of human skin

Iron Maiden of Nuremberg

This Iron Maiden is from medieval Germany. They had it set up with a holographic image of a woman inside the damn thing. Fucking scary! But it’s gorgeous.

Medieval Torture Mask

For those who can’t see the tiny print on the plaque it says: In the middle ages people who committed minor offenses were often forced to wear iron masks, called branks. These branks came in many shapes and were intended to humiliate the wearer as well as cause discomfort. Yeah… wear that on your face for a while.

Persian Flail

Used throughout history as a form of torture, flails were the weapon of choice to extract confessions during the Spanish Inquisition. Don’t you just want to hit someone you can’t stand with one of those?

Two Headed Calf!

Wanna see something creepy?

BOOM VOODOO WAX DOLL!!

This is a Haitian Wax Voodoo Doll that was originally own by Emperor “Papa Doc” Duvalier of Haiti in the 1960s. Oh my gods it’s creepy.

Here’s some cool magick for you:

Pennsylvannia Deutsch Hex Symbol

Attached to the sides of barns throughout Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, symbolic circular hex symbols are used by the Pennsylvania Deutsch farmers to ward off evil spirits, fire, lightning, and sickness. Looks like they brought some of that good ol’ timey magick from Germany with them. You see them on many of the barns built around the south as well.

Zoltar! I got my fortune from him. 🙂

Chinese Ship made of Jade

Chinese Dragons in Ivory

LOOK AT THAT DETAIL!!

Tribal Penis Sheath. You put your penis in there.

Okay, so that’s all the picture that were decent enough to put on here, but there is SOOOO much more to see in the museum. I want to go back as soon as we get the chance. If you love this kind of stuff, I suggest you find a museum near you and GO!! You will have so much fun and love every second of it. I promise.

I had never ever ever been to the ocean in my 23 years of existence. I was not disappointed. We arrived at the hotel around 1 a.m. so I only caught glimpses of the bay when we passed over the long ass bridge. The town itself was very well lit even that late at night and I got to see the lighthouse and cross the beautiful Lion Bridge (pictured above). Our hotel was right on the beach. I could hear the waves when we got out of the car and it was windy as hell. The best thing of all that night? Jesse walked me halfway to the water and you could see so many stars! I saw a tiny shooting star streak across the sky and my heart almost exploded. It was just so magical standing there holding his hand in the middle of the night on a beach.

The next morning we went to the Alligator Farm on Anastasia Island where we were staying. Jesse had been to St. Augustine when he was younger and said wonderful things about it. He wasn’t wrong when he said it was awesome. Now being from the south, I’ve seen the usual alligators and swamp creatures, but I don’t think I’ve seen so many in one spot.

I called them dragons, but most people call them crocodiles.

Fat, lazy dragons.

Here’s an actual dragon we saw.

They had this one exhibit honoring the biggest croc they had at the zoo. I mean he was frickin monstrous. They named him Gomek and he was brought from Papua New Guinea. There was a life sized model of him in the middle of this room.

Look at dude’s face on the TV. Hehehehe.

Here are his measurements. 17 ft 9 in. Almost a ton

There was so much beautiful wildlife and so much to see. It was a lot bigger than what I had originally guessed. Also, quite a few Buddha statues sitting around. Here are more photos.