Sorry for the big shock! There is an 11 year age gap between me and my sister and we get on so well- loved having a really young sister when I was a teenager and all my friends loved her too if it's any small consolation. My brother and I helped my mum loads as well so the work of looking after a baby was shared among more family members if that makes sense!

I am 19 weeks pregnant with a "surprise" baby. My others are 14, 12 and 9 so I have some idea about how you feel. Everything was a bit of a blur when I first found out but my family and I are thrilled now that we've had time to get used to it.

My cousin ended up with a 17 year gap between her 1st and 2nd - like you she didn't find out until far too late to consider other options. Had to bring them both up as a single parent too so she never seemed to get any time live her life IYSWIM!

I know how you feel. My kids are 10 and 7 and thought I had the babyhood thing done and dusted. Also, at over 40 I feel like a silly teenager caught out and should know better. I'm now 34 weeks pregnant, and I am just about coming around to the idea. Like you, the timing is a major pain in the arse for so many personal and financial reasons, but I've been trying to convince myself that I am neither the first nor the last nor the only woman who has got caught out like this, and one way or another I'll cope. The irony is, once the little blighters are born we'll wonder how we ever lived without them. Nature is such a head wrecker...

I had a huge gap between dc2 and 3, 9 years. We thought our family was complete as well. It was a huge shock, found out a 7 weeks at a scan to see if I needed an ovarian cyst removed. If that scan had been a couple of weeks earlier we wouldn't of had dc3.DP was very shocked and it did take until she was born for him to come round. They are the best of friends now and he dotes on her, as do the elder dc's.Oh and we also had another one a couple of years later, the pill didn't work for me. That one was a complete and total shock. I only had a scan due to terrible pains and I was 10 weeks. If it wasn't for the pain I suspect it could of taken me months to find out.

Things will be fine, as Putty says once the baby is here you will wonder how things were without him/her. Things are easier later on as well, or they were for me.

The same as you, I came off the pill (cerazette) to go on the Nuva-ring as I thought I would be better protected. Used it exactly as it should be used and then one day, didn't feel 'right'. I took a test and sure enough I am pregnant.

I'm now 30 weeks and just starting to get over the shock, I didn't take it very well at all.

Anyway, I hated when people said this to me but it doesn't feel right not to!

To be honest I think both your reactions are totally normally. At least you're not both surppressing your feelings only for them to come out later on. I'm sure you'll both wrap your heads round it soon

Didn't go for the scan- but only because my midwife (God thats not a phrase I thought i would ever use again) phoned me yesterday evening to say she had managed to get me an 'urgent' scan for Tuesday. The private scan was £80 and i thought for the sake of hanging on a couple of days I could wait and best utilise the £80 elsewhere (high chair, nappies for example)

still feel floored today, hard not to tell anyone (waiting for scan)- we haven't told the boys yet- feel so emotional. Really worried about finances etc. But as DP said - these are all the same feelings that we felt when i was pregnant with both boys.

Currently looking around on the internet to see how I can release some equity in the house to get a new bathroom- currently have a very old shower room (previous owners were in their 80's) - not practical with a baby.

sat and looked at finances last night- thinking about work patterns etc to make it easier to go alongside childcare (i.e. I can't realistically afford a childminder or nursery 5 days a week)

truly never ever thought I would be having to think about these things again. will keep you all updated on scan outcome-

Thanks for lovely messages- I joined Mnet in 2003 when DS2 was a tiny, non sleeping baby. I know that ill get lots of support here

I recently found myself pregnant against all expectations. DD1 is 8. I knew from early on so ive had a long time to come to terms with it- I'm 27 weeks now. I would say it's been a slow process. I still get moments when I feel hopeless BUT what has changed is that at least now I am very optimistic about what it I'll be like once the baby arrives. I'm sure it'll all be fine and there will be no regrets. I try not to think about night feeds and energy etc,. I'm 45.