November 12, 2016

To Curse, or Not to Curse?

"To curse or hex this person would give me some sort of petty satisfaction but it will not solve the situation. At best, it will make her shitty circumstances that led to that moment even shittier, and I will feel some sort of smug accomplishment. At worst, it has no effect and I’ve just revelled in my misery and dwelt on this moment for even longer than necessary." -The Chaos Witch

I disagree. If somebody has put in the time and effort necessary to truly anger me and leave a lasting wrinkle in the usually smooth fabric of my life, I'm going to get a red-hot iron and smooth it back out again. True story: I had a neighbor who was harassing me because he said that my indoor cats were sneaking out of the house at all hours, climbing up his second floor patio, and tearing up the soffit around his roof. He claimed it was happening at all hours of the day, yet could provide no pictures or video of this happening and demanded that I pay his landlord $500 to handle the cost of repair.

Yeah... no. How about, Go fuck yourself? Things escalated, and he started prank calling my house at odd hours. One night he had a party at his apartment, got out a ladder, and he and his five guests climbed onto the joined roof between our properties and went running around. Or the veritable raves he held in his apartment with bass so loud that it reverberated through my entire home. And that's not even to mention how he made threats about trapping my cats and having them put down without telling me - which is a silly threat to make since it's not my cats damaging his rental unit. But all the same: harassing phone calls, climbing my roof, deliberately playing loud music during a weeknight when the kids have to go to school and my wife and I have to work, and threatening my cats all adds up to four threats too far.

So I threw a curse against him and asked for his death. I specifically asked for his bones to be ground to dust under the pillars of the Earth. I genuinely wanted this man to die. It's been a over a month since I did that ritual, and the man hasn't suffered a sudden and unexpected death. But you know, he's also conspicuously vanished from my life. He doesn't say anything to me about the cats. He doesn't have large parties anymore. He doesn't play outrageously loud music. He doesn't climb on my roof. He doesn't prank call me. He doesn't talk to me at all, and we barely even see each other in passing anymore. Zip. Zero. For my purposes, the man is truly dead: he has no presence in my life and no influence against me.

I don't know what's happening in his life, and I don't care to know. For me, the only thing that matters is that he's not bothering me anymore. Call greater magic bogus if you want to, but judging by the results this was a success for me and I'm going to keep throwing curses as I see fit.