Then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, we have the geek pick-up lines:

I wish I could be your derivative so I could be tangent to your curves.
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Hey babe, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?
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Baby, I know my chemistry, and you’ve got one significant figure.
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If I were an enzyme I’d be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes.
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Hey, baby; wanna test the ‘k’ of my bedsprings?
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Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I am around you.
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How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the digits of your phone number?

A Greek man, an Albanian man, a Swedish girl and an old Italian woman are traveling on a train that has just entered a dark tunnel. Suddenly they hear a loud slap, and when the train emerges, the Albanian man has a red hand print on his cheek.
He must have groped the Swedish girl, and she slapped him, the Italian woman thinks.
He tried to grope me but fondled the old lady instead, and she slapped him, the Swedish girl decides.
The Greek guy must have groped the blonde, and she slapped me by accident, the Albanian determines.
I can't wait for another tunnel, the Greek man thinks, so I can smack that Albanian again!

A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand thatr-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e*i - s*f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,

A commitment to Mod'nAdminlyness: I understand thatr-e-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e*i - s*f-u-t-i-l-e.
I shall not be starchy, nit pic, patronize, commit misandry, be economical with the facts or be a pedant, neither shall I whine. I shall endeavour to abstain from gratuitous point-scoring off the comments of other Mods or Administrators and also from engendering a culture of BLAME, remembering too to give the benefit of the doubt. Everything in my power will be done to achieve a modest post count & share my smileys, sources & avatars,

NOTE: A subatomic "glue" holds the fundamental constituents of this product together. Since the exact nature of this glue is not yet fully understood, its adhesive power cannot be guaranteed. To date, no known malfunction of the product has resulted from glue failure.

DISCLAIMER: Manufacturer is not responsible for loss should this product disappear into a wormhole.

LIMITED WARRANTY: Despite the efforts of the Manufacturer, the chaos in this package has increased since being shipped. If such chaos has rendered the product defective, Buyer shall not hold Manufacturer responsible. Claims in this regard should be aimed directly at the Shipper.

NOTE: Despite its appearance, this product is more than 99.99% empty space.

READ THIS BEFORE OPENING: According to quantum theory, this product may collapse into another state if directly observed.

EXTREME CAUTION: This product has an energy-equivalent that, if exploded, could destroy a small town. Under no circumstance shall a User perform a mass-energy transformation on any of the contents in this package. In case of misuse, liability shall rest entirely with the User.

GUARANTEED RETURN CLAUSE: Because of the uncertainty principle, we have shipped this product with a limited speed notice. However, if shippers have disregarded our notice, we cannot guarantee that all the contents are in the box. If you discover missing components, please call the 1-800 number on the instruction sheet.

IMPORTANT: This product is composed of 100% matter: It is the responsibility of the User to make sure that it does not come in contact with antimatter. Under no circumstances will the Manufacturer be liable for User mishandling in this regard.

QUALITY STANDARD: The electrons, protons and neutrons are guaranteed to be of same quality as those used in other products of the Manufacturer.

DISAPPEARANCE EXCLUSION: Due to quantum tunneling, there is an extremely tiny chance that this product may suddenly disappear at any time (and reappear elsewhere). The Manufacturer will not be responsible for such mysterious disappearances.

AS REQUIRED BY LAW, we must inform you that any use of this product increases the amount of disorder in the universe. As of the date shipped, Congress has not passed any bills assigning a tax on disorder pollution.

USE LIMITATION: This product cannot be guaranteed to function normally near a black hole.