Saturday, June 16, 2012

Pleasure Place Day!

You weren’t looking forward to taking your kids to Fun Town Place because you hate amusement parks. Then when you got there you found out that the park was safe enough for you to let your kids run free while you and your husband go to the adults-only section of the park called Pleasure Place.

At Pleasure Place, you can drink alcohol, eat delicious gourmet food, listen to educational lectures from people who’ve actually given TED Talks. And best of all, you can have sex with other open-minded couples in Pleasure Place’s massive erotic arena which is basically one giant rinsable mattress.

“Is this really appropriate to have in the middle of an amusement park?” you ask your waiter at the restaurant.

He explains that the park began with the sex arena. The goal was to build the largest swingers’ destination in the world, a mecca for the polyamorous.

“But the couples complained that they couldn’t get here often enough because they didn’t have anyone to look after their kids,” the waiter says. “So we built an amusement park around it.”

“So the only reason the amusement park exists is to babysit children while their parents fornicate with strangers?” you ask.

He says it’s not that uncommon. Six Flags began as an S/M dungeon, then they added roller coasters for the kids. Eventually the roller coasters became a bigger attraction than the dungeon, so they turned it into a haunted house.

“Also,” he says. “Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom started out as fight club.”

You ask about the delicious restaurants and the educational lectures.

“We’re verging on Six Flags territory now,” he explains. “We’re getting huge numbers of visitors who have no idea we’re just a sex club surrounded an optional amusement park for kids. So when a lot of parents find out, they need some warming up to the idea. So we let them enjoy a nice meal, listen to a ‘fascinating’ talk. Give them something else to pretend to focus on while they grow more and more curious about the arena.”

You admit to your husband that you’re curious about it, and maybe you and he should poke your head in after dessert. He admits that when he said he went to the bathroom he actually had a three-way with a couple in their 50’s from Saskatchewan.

“Looks like I’ve got some catching up to do,” you say.

Your husband gets the check, then you both go into the arena where he watches two Minnesotans double-team you until it’s time to go and find your kids.