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Friday, August 28, 2009

Video: The Highly Sensitive Person

I am an HSP, or highly sensitive person. I don't like loud noises, bright lights, crowded noisy places, and lots of other things that most other people do not even notice, and maybe even enjoy. About 15-20% of the population is like me.

In defining the Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron provides examples of characteristic behaviors, and these are reflected in the questions she typically asks patients or interview subjects:

Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?

Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?

Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?

Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?

Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?

Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?

Do you have a rich and complex inner life?

When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

Dr. Aron explains that in the past HSPs have been called "shy," "timid," "inhibited," or "introverted," but these labels completely miss the nature of the trait. Thirty percent of HSPs are actually extraverts. HSPs only appear inhibited because they are so aware of all the possibilities in a situation. They pause before acting, reflecting on their past experiences. If these were mostly bad experiences, then yes, they will be truly shy. But in a culture that prefers confident, "bold" extraverts, it is harmful as well as mistaken to stigmatize all HSPs as shy when many are not. InThe Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Aron reframes these stereotyping words and their common application to the HSP in a more positive light and helps HSPs use and view these aspects of their personality as strengths rather than weaknesses.

Sensitivity is anything but a flaw. Many HSPs are often unusually creative and productive workers, attentive and thoughtful partners, and intellectually gifted individuals. According to Dr. Aron, HSPs could contribute much more to society if they received the right kind of attention - and her national bestseller proves that this 15 to 20 percent of the population is eager to get off on the right foot in asserting their unique personality trait.

Doesn't sound very masculine does it? Imagine growing up this way with all the messages we normally get about what it means to be a boy or a man. It's not easy. But it doesn't make us any less masculine. So if you too are an HSP, you are not alone.

Wednesday August 26, 2009

If you have ever wondered why you don't fare well in noisy places, why it takes you so much longer to adjust to change, or why your feelings are so much more intense than your friends, you will appreciate this video. I explain what it means to be a highly sensitive person, as defined by Elaine Aron in her bestselling "The Highly Sensitive Person."

I don't want to spoil the surprise, so I won't say anything more before you watch the video.