Police Dispatch

An intoxicated female entered the residence of a couple she didn't know and accused the male of being a child molester, according to a Pima County Sheriff's Department report.

Police were called to the couple's location and found a disorderly young woman shoving the man of the household toward them and yelling, "He's a child molester! Get him!"

The couple reported that earlier that night, they had heard a knock on the door and opened it, believing the knocker to be their niece. The inebriated female who entered--not their niece--proceeded to lie on their couch and yell profanities whenever she was asked if she was OK. This behavior awoke the couple's 5-year-old daughter, who was told to return to bed, but the invading female attempted to follow her to her room. When the father intervened, the strange female began to scream that he was too old to have sex with the child and that the child should not be naked. This was confusing, especially since the daughter was wearing pajamas.

The subject most often responded to deputies' questions with, "Fuck you." It was unclear from her answers whether she was 19, 30 or 37 years old.

En route to jail, she appeared to regret her actions, praying aloud for forgiveness, the report stated. She also prayed that the patrol vehicle's tire would blow out so she could escape and get a ride home.

In Need of a File Cabinet

West Drexel Road, Dec. 22, 10:59 p.m.

A man suspected of kidnapping was not charged with that crime--but he led deputies straight to evidence of numerous drug infractions, according to a PCSD report.

Law enforcement was dispatched to a trailer park after a young woman called to report a kidnapping by a resident. While deputies were at the scene, the suspect pulled up in his vehicle and was handcuffed at gunpoint. Deputies soon found that he had a warrant for his arrest from an unrelated incident. The suspect insisted that the warrant had been quashed and that he had the paperwork in his trailer to prove this. He directed deputies to search inside.

Immediately upon entering the residence, deputies reportedly saw a large pile of marijuana on the kitchen table. They informed the suspect that the papers were not in the kitchen, at which point he led them inside his bedroom, pointing to the area near his bedside table. There, instead of papers, deputies found multiple glass pipes used for smoking cocaine, as well as multiple marijuana pipes and a baggy containing a green, leafy substance.

Eventually, the paperwork was found, and it indeed showed that the suspect's warrant had been quashed.

The suspect was not arrested for kidnapping, since no evidence was found that he had committed that crime. However, he was taken to jail for several counts of drug possession.