Pope Francis on Friday urged Vatican disciplinarians to act “with determination” against sexual abuse committed by members of the Catholic clergy, the Holy See said in a statement, the pope’s first public pronouncement on the issue.

You know, despite the fact that his conservative bona-fides are unimpeachable, I like this new Pope. I mean…it’s hard not to like a man with the common touch—who blesses the seeing-eye dog of a blind Italian reporter and who washes the feet of Muslim women in a spirit of community and fellowship.

But—and this is a big but—nobody has more power to enforce his (God’s?) will than Il Papa. So if the Pope wants to get rid of sexual abuse in the Catholic clergy, he doesn’t need to ask. The Catholic Church is not a group of friends. He doesn’t need to urge or persuade. The Catholic Church is not a democracy. All he needs to do is kick ass and take names:

“But your holiness, it is difficult to identi—”

“Stop right there! You are excommunicated! Next.”

“Your holiness, we are trying to find ways of dealin—”

“And you! You’re excommunicated!”

“But your Holine—”

“Not another word! Your eternal soul is condemned to hellfire.”

“Next!”

You see. It’s easy, and Francis shouldn’t be asking. He should be telling. At least that’s what he should be doing if he wants to save Holy Mother Church.

It seems odd the courts find that citizens cannot dance at a memorial, because the dancing distracts from the ‘solemn commemoration’ at such sites, but also find that the Westboro Baptist Church members can stage their repugnant protests at the funerals of our fallen soldiers. Apparently, our enlightened courts do not consider the church’s protests as a distraction to the ‘solemn commemoration’ of a soldier’s funeral. Only in America!

Do you have these whackos in your neighborhood? We sure do. Signs prophesying the “End of Days” on May 21st. Cries of, “REPENT!”.

I see them and I’m asking myself how did they pick that day? In my lifetime I’ve survived several end of days scenarios. The year 2000, 2001, 2010, hell I lived through Y2K. Besides why on earth would a benevolent deity end the world on Saturday, my day off? I mean, seriously?

I hate organized religion. What a slick piece of work this guy is. Disgusting. If you’re a rich pastor and your congregants are poor, be like Jesus and give some of your wealth away. If you don’t, you’ve really just missed the point.

Elizabeth Edwards & her faithless husband, John, lightly esteemed what they had. They coveted things that were not theirs – and presumptuously thought they could control God.

So you’re going to punish a woman because her husband cheated on her? Or is it really just that she was a gay rights advocate. I don’t think this has anything to with religion. It’s for publicity. Pure and simple.

I’m sorry, what?! And this actually comes from a distinguished source, the Pew Research Center took a poll indicating that 18% of Americans think Obama is Muslim. Bizarre. I mean I just don’t understand how these people completely missed the memo about his being a Christian. Sure he’s not overtly practicing the way Bill Clinton was, but still. Did they even follow the last election? I’m absolutely flabbergasted.

Apparently the Republicans are all about freedom of religion until it hurts someone’s feelings. They came out in force this weekend against President Obama after he made an impassioned plea for the mosque at ground zero. Sen. John Cornyn (Texas) wants to make this an election issue. Cornyn believes that Obama is disconnected from Americans’ feelings on this issue and said that, “voters would render their verdict in November.” He went on to say that Americans don’t like “being lectured to”. Um, Senator did it every occur to you that New Yorkers don’t want to be lectured to either, particularly by some asshat Texan?