Every Show Needs a Sexy Cowboy – Big Brother 5, August 24th

Lots to cover this week, including a luxury competition, veto competition and the veto ceremony. Of course we need a recap first, because us reality freaks have limited memory capabilities (tell that to someone who’s still arguing that Lex got screwed in Survivor Africa). The quickie version – Will’s gone, Nakomis is getting revenge on the breaking of a pinky swear by putting the twins on the block, and the twins are upset because somehow they’ve been wronged, even though they are obviously playing the game masterfully, with skill, wit, and, oh heck, I can’t even say this sarcastically.

Natalie tells the camera that Nakomis is the last person she wanted to win HoH, and isn’t surprised at all by the nominations. Nakomis, for her part, says there is no loophole in a pinky swear. The twins broke a promise to her, Karen, Diane, and especially to Will.

The twins have a good laugh after the nomination ceremony, complaining that they got no valid, personal reason why they were put up. Diane makes a face and calls them poor sports. She says if there had been anything funny during the nomination ceremony, then it went right over her head.

Nakomis goes to find the twins to explain again why they’re on the block, because she doesn’t think they understand it. She says that they pinky swore about two things – that they wouldn’t nominate each other without discussing it first, and that they wouldn’t vote for each other. She feels that since the twins were playing as one person, then the promise should have been upheld by both of them. Adria says that once both twins came into the house, all bets were off. Well, this is a nice time to announce that to everyone, dontcha think? Maybe you should have brought that little nugget up a bit earlier so your alliance would know you weren’t to be trusted. Good thing I have my trusty puke bucket at the ready.

One of the twins compares Will to Charles Manson, in that he’s out of the house but his minions are still killing for him. To this I say, “Oh Please!!” Who shows more signs of becoming a cult leader, Will or Nadriatalie? I’ll let you decide.

Diane is cornered in the bathroom by both evil twins. Natalie is still whining about not getting a personal reason why she’s up on the block, and both are talking a mile a minute. Diane looks like a deer in the headlights. Natalie didn’t pinky swear with Will, so she thinks Nakomis has no right to nominate her. It’s a copout as far as she’s concerned. Argh. Via the HoH screen, Nakomis sees the conversation with Diane in the bathroom. She knows the twins are upset and angry, but doesn’t really care.

Adria goes into the bedroom to talk to Diane and Drew about the veto. She wants to make sure that the person she chooses to play for it will indeed use it (like it’s some kind of honour to be chosen to play or something). They’re unsure – Diane thinks that Drew will be put up if one of the twins is taken off the block. Adria assures her that Drew is safe, but Diane can’t promise anything. She leaves the room, and Adria manages to get Drew to give his word that he’ll use the veto if he wins it.

Nakomis announces that it’s time for a luxury competition. Marvin whoops it up and picks Nakomis up and spins her around. He says in the diary room that they all don’t care if it’s a warm bowl of spit they’re playing for, they’re all jacked up for the competition.

The backyard is set up with a contraption that looks like “a giant rainbow exploded and had a baby”, according to Karen. It’s a bunch of strings of elastic that form a huge web, and inside are a bunch of balls with letters on them. The houseguests have to climb through the web and retrieve the balls, then put them together to form a word. They’re playing for shopping sprees at Amazon.com – as a team, they will get 18 items from Amazon if they complete the task in three minutes or less, losing one item for every 30 seconds they go over. They are also being timed individually, and the person with the highest score will win a $1000 shopping spree to be used when they get back home.

Drew gets in first, and pushes all of the balls forward before coming out with one himself. Cowboy says Drew took one for the team. Adria and Diane follow, and the timer is just over a minute. Karen and Nakomis follow, and while Nak is getting her ball out they figure out that the word they need to spell is ‘internet’. Cowboy, Natalie, and Marvin go through, and Marvin gets stuck. They end up having trouble spelling ‘internet’ (somewhere Scott is laughing at this), and complete the challenge in just over five minutes. They end up with 14 items from Amazon. Diane has the fastest time, and wins the individual spree.

Marvin says that the competition took some pressure off of them for a while. “I kinda liked them for a while. And I hate these people.”

Everyone heads off to the HoH room to order their stuff from Amazon. The screen that normally shows feeds from all over the house is set up for them to shop. They have to select from a list of pre-determined items, and end up choosing steaks, a fire pit, exercise equipment, a water volleyball set, barbeque tools, and other various items.

The twins try to corner Diane again, demanding to know about the veto. She says she would probably use it, and Adria harps “Probably don’t get it!” Apparently you don’t get it either, Adria. No one wants to be responsible for you or your twin scraping by this eviction. Diane starts to cry, and says privately that the twins have a way of catching her off guard and making her feel uncomfortable.

The packages arrive from Amazon (what the heck kind of shipping offer did they get? I’ve never received anything that quickly from Amazon!), and are piled in the backyard. The houseguests unpack their stuff, and find all the goodies they’ve ordered. Marvin hurries the steaks into the kitchen while Diane scores the gourmet s’mores kit. Mmmmm…s’mores…

They set up the fire pit, and fetch Holly’s ceramic cat to sit on top of it while they sit around the fire. Marvin says they’re turning that white cat black.

Talk now goes to the America’s Choice prize – a day out of the house and an appearance on the Young and the Restless. Marvin tells everyone what a huge fan of the show he is, and Cowboy says in the diary room that the show needs a sexy cowboy like himself. There are so many things wrong with that statement that my mind can’t even process it. Cowboy and Marvin ad lib a little scene where they’re fighting over Karen, which is pretty darned funny.

Drew and Cowboy talk strategy outside, which is a painful procedure to watch. Cowboy thinks that if the veto I won and used, Marvin will go on the block. Drew asks if Cowboy is worried about going up himself, and he says he knows that up against a twin, he is absolutely safe. Drew admits he’s scared.

Time for the veto competition finally! Nakomis explains the rules, and the selection begins. Nak chooses Marvin, Adria chooses Drew, and Natalie picks Cowboy. They are all separated, and have to go to the backyard one at a time to complete the challenge.

Nakomis is first, and says that it’s a ‘Sci-Fi Morph-O-Matic”. Faces are displayed on a giant screen that are made up of pictures of three different houseguests – kind of like Conan O’Brien’s “If They Mated” segment. Nakomis is immediately freaked out by a picture of her face, Holly’s hair, and Scott’s mouth. I’d be freaked as well. Each person has to name the three people that the faces are made up of.

The funniest face by far is made up of Marvin, Lori, and Diane. Marvin says, “That’s an ugly chick!” The twins are listed as just that: Twins. I guess that was to make things easier for everyone to not have to distinguish between the two, but I have to wonder if they were upset at not being ‘individuals’ in the challenge.

Anyway, Diane and Karen get to watch everyone complete the challenge, and Diane gives Cowboy props for finishing in under 30 minutes. Seriously, why would anyone pick Cowboy to play the veto for them? Challenges aren’t exactly his strong point.

Adria ends up winning the veto, and Natalie comments that Nakomis’ face was priceless when the winner was announced. Now, I saw the camera pan over to Nak when Adria’s name was announced as the winner, and she had no facial expression whatsoever. None.

Adria and Natalie discuss the veto together, huddled up in bed. They both cry, bemoan their situation, and complain about the others. So what’s new? Adria wants to save Natalie, but Natalie wants her to save herself. The rest of the houseguests could care less, they just want one of them gone.

Nakomis, Diane, and Karen talk in the HoH room. Nak doesn’t know who to put up, and asks Diane about Drew. They’re unsure of how Marvin will vote, thinking that he’s guaranteed another couple of weeks if he keeps a twin in the house. Karen insists that Marvin wants to ‘split those girls up’ more than he wants to see Diane and Drew split up. Nakomis doesn’t want to nominate Cowboy, out of bloodline respect.

It’s now time for the veto meeting, and Adria calls everyone together. She says that Natalie will now get a turn to plead her case, and Natalie says something about welcoming the veto, getting second chances, and knowing it’s a hard decision to make. Adria thanks her and says she knows that Natalie’s words were from her heart. Blah blah blah – where’s my bucket?

Adria talks about the importance of the veto, and even though she wanted to use it last week, it just wasn’t wanted. She says that she is going to use the veto – on herself. She adds that if the others aren’t willing to give Natalie a chance in the house this week, then maybe they never had it in their hearts to do so. (vomit bucket break for me) Adria’s reasoning for leaving her sister flapping in the wind is that Natalie needs to be judged for her own actions, while Adria should stay in the house and take the rap for hers.

Nakomis now has to put up a replacement nominee. She says that she’s decided to put up Cowboy, because she knows he is a safe bet and has nothing to worry about.

Marvin says that no one is ever safe on the block, not with him in the house. Cowboy is upset because he and Nakomis apparently promised each other they wouldn’t put the other on the block. (Apparently Cowboy has a short term memory, because he asked Nak to be a pawn on more than one occasion.) Nakomis confesses that if Cowboy goes she’ll be very upset – because she promised him he’d be safe, and because she’ll then have two angry twins after her. Natalie closes the show by saying that she only needs three votes to stay in the house. Looks like the next couple of days will be unbearable for the rest of them!

Thursday will bring the live eviction, as well as the results of the America’s Choice poll. Don’t forget to tune in!

Comments are welcome! If you have something to say, or want to write for us, drop me a line at carrie@realityshack.com.