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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A Spectrum of Similarities

As I read that horrible
letter by that horrible person I focused on the words that were written.
There were words being used to describe young Max that were vile… disgusting…
evil. Then I started to realize that
those words were not being used to describe Max at all. They were venom… nothing
more and nothing less.

So what words could be used to describe Max? I don’t have
access to his family, but I do have access to a lot of others. So I asked on
the Real Husbands of Autism
page for parents and autistics alike to throw out one word to describe the
autistic loved one in their life, or themselves if they were autistic. In a
short amount of time we had over 125 descriptions and you know what is
interesting about them? Not one of them was used by that hateful person in the
letter aimed at Max.

Do you want to know why? Because she doesn't KNOW Max. All
she knows is hate.

But when you ask for a description of an autistic person
that comes from a place of familiarity, you get an entirely different set of
words to describe people on the spectrum. And speaking of spectrum, there was
something else I noticed.

We have all heard the saying, “If you have met one person
with autism, you have met ONE person with autism”. That is true if we are
talking about quirks, stims, sensitivities… but what I discovered is that is
not so true when we look at the content of their character. As I read each
boastful description, I noticed that the author’s sons and daughters could
easily be my daughter.

Suddenly that “spectrum” did not seem so wide.

And with that revelation, the anger and hate I had in my
heart towards that “pissed off mother” turned to pity. I feel bad for her. I
feel bad that she clearly has not been surrounded by anybody that can be
described by the following terms… the words used to describe so many fabulous
and loved autistic people.

As you read them, ask yourself if they apply to your loved
one or to yourself if you are autistic and allow the smile to come across your
face and the warmth to envelope your body.