While I am entirely sure that putting Andy Rooney counts as some sort of elder abuse, I will never tire of seeing him try to adapt to modern life when it is perfectly clear the man still thinks the cotton gin is pinnacle of technology. God bless your crazy, Andy Rooney. (BWE)

Here are 9 films about small town secrets, although Nightmare on Elm Street is conspicuously absent from the list. Fun fact: I actually grew up right around the corner from Elm Street. You know what was on that Elm Street? A fucking cemetary. Halloweens were the best in Pointe-Claire... (Screen Junkies)

Has anybody else seen the commercials for those electronic cigarettes? Well, Katherine Heigl smokes those things apparently, because I'm sure there are absolutely no downsides to sucking on a tiny machine whose only purpose is to pump nicotine into your body. (popbytes)

Our own Courtney Enlow takes a look at the characters on Saved By The Bell who, for the sake of argument, probably died a mysterious and untimely death off camera while the main characters just went on like nothing happened. Ah, high school... (Hobo Trashcan)

Are you sad because Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me and Pushing Daisies have all been canceled because America has no taste in anything? Well, Bryan Fuller is back and he's trying to remake The Munsters! While I have no idea what that is, I firmly believe that this show will be amazing in every way, and will eventually be canceled after two seasons. (The Flickcast)

Some dumbass at Duke decided to make a Powerpoint about every guy she ever slept with, complete with asshole little comments, and then emailed it to her friends. Except whoops! It's on the internet now and she just pissed off a bunch of people. Well, as it turns out this isn't the first time Duke's been in a sex scandal. (Zelda Lily)

Britney Spears' conservatorship is coming to an end soon, which means the Frappuccino is about to become a precious resource in WeHo very, very soon. (Evil Beet)

Here are 5 popular safety measures that don't actually do anything whatsoever. HA! Suck it bitches, this is why I never go out in the sun! Because the sun is evil and it will kill you fucking dead. Eat me. (Cracked)

Oh, are you motherfucking kidding me... So apparently the real reason Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston broke up was because Levi was in a video that Bristol felt was mocking her family, and she thought that Levi Johnston was a famewhore. How the entire town of Wasilla hasn't been destroyed by a black hole of crippling stupidity, I'll never know. (Yeeeah!)

Here are 20 adult stars and their comic babe counterpart. I know this is a girls only list, but for the record, when I let my hair grow out I kinda look like Wolverine... If Wolverine was dying of malnutrition. Also, Jeremy Bilding looks RIDICULOUSLY like Superman. Like, brick-shittingly similar. (Unreality)

For the growing gay in your life, here's a video from a new video for the new campaign, Give A Damn, to let kids know they're not alone in anti-gay bullying. Hell, look at me kids! I've used my gayness to make myself richer and more famous than anyone else in my graduating class! Suck on that Massimo Paolito! You were just angry because you were short and everyone thought you were a hyperviolent psychopath. (Towleroad)

Someone with an unhealthy obsession for 30 Rock's Liz Lemon WHO IS NOT ME went ahead and created this montage of every flashback moment Liz has ever had on the show. Well, almost. How do you forget Liz's first time on the football field? WOOOO! FEMINISM!

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.