Here are the 2015 nominations of the stupid Emmys

I couldn’t give a damn about awards. I think they are utterly subjective and often used to punish upstarts or iconoclasts. In my opinion Whiplash should have cleaned up at the Academy Awards – and would have were it not the debut feature of a new director. To this day Sons of Anarchy remains a major Emmy snub, even though lesser shows often make the cut.

But since the Emmys won’t go away, we might as well see who is in the running. The 2015 list follows, with some unsolicited comment from yours truly at the end. Here is a partial list of the categories that most people care about:

Outstanding Drama Series

“Better Call Saul” (AMC)

“Downton Abbey” (PBS)

“Game Of Thrones” (HBO)

“Homeland” (Showtime)

“House Of Cards” (Netflix)

“Mad Men” (AMC)

“Orange Is The New Black” (Netflix)

Game of Thrones is the leader of the pack for nominations, so no surprise it’s also contending for the top Drama award. House of Cards features, despite season 3 being a bit weak, while regular attendees Homeland and Mad Men are in attendance. But the one to watch is Better Call Saul – it is in a word simply fantastic. Maybe even better than Breaking Bad. Yup, I just said that…

Outstanding Comedy Series

“Louie” (FX)

“Modern Family” (ABC)

“Parks And Recreation” (NBC)

“Silicon Valley” (HBO)

“Transparent” (Amazon)

“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” (Netflix)

“Veep” (HBO)

I should admit that I’ve not seen any of these. I sampled Parks and Recreation and Veep at their start, but they didn’t hook me. Modern Family I know, but that’s practically part of the Emmy furniture by now. If I had to choose a favourite, it’s Silicon Valley, because I like Mike Judge.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series

Kyle Chandler, “Bloodline”

Jeff Daniels, “The Newsroom”

Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”

Bob Odenkirk, “Better Call Saul”

Liev Schreiber, “Ray Donovan”

Kevin Spacey, “House of Cards”

I’d love to see Kevin Spacey or Bob Odenkirk take this. But Liev Schreiber remains chronically under-appreciated. Also, in a straight-up fight he can beat any of these guys. So there’s that.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series

Claire Danes, “Homeland”

Viola Davis, “How to Get Away With Murder”

Taraji P. Henson, “Empire”

Tatiana Maslany, “Orphan Black”

Elisabeth Moss, “Mad Men”

Robin Wright, “House of Cards”

Again I’m out of my depth, but Kervyn is ecstatic that Tatiana Maslany finally gets a nod for her amazing work in Orphan Black.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson, “black-ish”

Louis C.K., “Louie”

Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”

Will Forte, “Last Man on Earth”

Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes”

William H. Macy, “Shameless”

Jeffrey Tambor, “Transparent”

A total blank here. Sure, William H. Macy is always great. But I only know black-ish and I got tired of it before the first season was done.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

Edie Falco, “Nurse Jackie”

Lisa Kudrow, “The Comeback”

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep”

Amy Poehler, “Parks and Recreation”

Amy Schumer, “Inside Amy Schumer”

Lily Tomlin, “Grace and Frankie”

Dunno either. But Edie Falco has always had my support, ever since Oz, so I’ve got her back on this one.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series

Jonathan Banks, “Better Call Saul”

Ben Mendelsohn, “Bloodline”

Jim Carter, “Downton Abbey”

Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones”

Michael Kelly, “House of Cards”

Alan Cumming, “The Good Wife”

Peter Dinklage will be a fan favourite. I’d also be very happy to see Jonathan Banks or Michael Kelly win.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series

Joanne Froggatt, “Downton Abbey”

Lena Headey, “Game of Thrones”

Emilia Clarke, “Game of Thrones”

Christina Hendricks, “Mad Men”

Uzo Aduba, “Orange Is the New Black”

Christine Baranski, “The Good Wife”

Uzo Aduba – no question. Her character in Orange is the New Black is in a league of her own. As a second, Lena Heady. But not Emilia Clarke. I don’t think she’s really pushed the boundaries of her characters.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series

Niecy Nash, “Getting On”

Julie Bowen, “Modern Family”

Allison Janney, “Mom”

Kate McKinnon, “Saturday Night Live”

Mayim Bialik, “The Big Bang Theory”

Gaby Hoffmann, “Transparent”

Jane Krakowski, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”

Anna Chlumsky, “Veep”

No idea, but I’ll support Jane Krakowski any day of the week.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series

Andre Braugher, “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”

Adam Driver, “Girls”

Keegan-Michael Key, “Key & Peele”

Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”

Tituss Burgess, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”

Tony Hale, “Veep”

Andre Braugher! In fact, invent a ‘Lifetime Achievement for Deadpan Comedy’ award and just give that to him.

Outstanding Miniseries

“American Crime” (ABC)

“American Horror Story: Freak Show” (FX)

“The Honorable Woman” (Sundance)

“Olive Kitteridge” (HBO)

“Wolf Hall” (PBS)

I’ve only seen one of these and none have managed to get onto my radar. Can I assume they are all just shitty? At least next year it will be True Detective vs. Narco, unless the Emmy judges decide to be dicks to Netflix again.

You can see the rest of the list over here. Meanwhile, I need to go make some anonymous death threats to the voters, because Marco Polo isn’t anywhere…

(Actually it is, buried in the sound nominations. Not even a set design or costume nod. Really, wtf?)

A total movie glutton, nothing is too bad or too obscure to watch, unless it's something like The Human Centipede. If you enjoyed that, there is something wrong with you. But bless you anyway - even video nasties need love...

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