When to try again

Hello. I've never written on a forum before. I am sorry for your losses that mean you are here too.

I have just had my second miscarriage. Found out at 11 weeks baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. We had seen him heartbeating on an early scan a few days earlier. So had erpc on 22nd. I feel lucky to have a 2.5 year old daughter but so wanted a sibling for her. I lost the previous baby at 5 weeks naturally. So as they were both different miscarriages the midwife does not think they are for the same reason. I don't know what to do now. I'm 39 and worry I'm too old to try again. The first miscarriage was July 2016 and I am sad and feel stupid we waited so long to try again after that. I just felt scared and alone didn't tell anyone other than partner and mum. This time I've told more people I was pregnant as didn't want to go through it again alone. I never thought I would have 2 miscarriages in a row. But I'm glad they know now as some support. It feels like most people I know has lost a baby once you mention it.

I am curious to know when you think you can try again. Should I wait for a period? Time feels of the essence and maybe too late. But wonder if the next baby had more chance if I wait a few months? I'm still bleeding slightly from erpc.

Comments (4)

So sorry that you're here with us and that you're going through a second miscarriage.

From what I've read doctors often suggest that you wait until you've had a full cycle after the miscarriage as it helps with the dating (otherwise it's harder to know when you're ovulating or when your period would have been due), but not everyone follows that. Also saw some studies that people get pregnant within six months of a miscarriage have higher chances of healthy pregnancies... so I guess as soon as you feel ready and have grieved the previous pregnancy.

Personally I probably would have tried before my period came back - but my partner and I don't live in the same place so the timing didn't work out.

Hope that 2018 brings you and all the rest of us comfort for this difficult year and future joy xx

So sorry that you're here with us and that you're going through a sec...

Posted
31/12/2017

So sorry that you're here with us and that you're going through a second miscarriage.

From what I've read doctors often suggest that you wait until you've had a full cycle after the miscarriage as it helps with the dating (otherwise it's harder to know when you're ovulating or when your period would have been due), but not everyone follows that. Also saw some studies that people get pregnant within six months of a miscarriage have higher chances of healthy pregnancies... so I guess as soon as you feel ready and have grieved the previous pregnancy.

Personally I probably would have tried before my period came back - but my partner and I don't live in the same place so the timing didn't work out.

Hope that 2018 brings you and all the rest of us comfort for this difficult year and future joy xx

Thanks for replying. I think I'll take a pregnancy test next week and see if it's negative then might just see what happens from there. I was too sad when talking to the consultant to think about trying again.

Best wishes for 2018. Hope you get to be in the same place as your partner at the right time!

So sorry for your loss. I’m in a similar position to you with regards to age as I’m 38 and very much feel that time is of the essence! Had a miscarriage over Xmas and got my negative pregnancy test yesterday. It took nearly a year to conceive and we were totally stunned that it had finally happened so absolutely thrilled as you can imagine.

I think physically you can try again as soon as you want but emotionally it depends on how you feel. I want to start ASAP but my consultant has uncovered further health problems when scanning me which means I have to wait for now... gutted!

So sorry for your loss. I’m in a similar position to you with regards to ag...

Posted
01/01/2018

So sorry for your loss. I’m in a similar position to you with regards to age as I’m 38 and very much feel that time is of the essence! Had a miscarriage over Xmas and got my negative pregnancy test yesterday. It took nearly a year to conceive and we were totally stunned that it had finally happened so absolutely thrilled as you can imagine.

I think physically you can try again as soon as you want but emotionally it depends on how you feel. I want to start ASAP but my consultant has uncovered further health problems when scanning me which means I have to wait for now... gutted!

Best of luck for the future xx

I hope you get to try again soon. Hopefully now you have been pregnant once it will be quicker next time. My first pregnancy took a while but after that the next were quicker but sadly not successful.

It's strange the age thing. Lots I read online is so negative for over 35 even but no midwives or consultants I spoke to thought it was a big issue. Not sure what to believe. I suppose just have to try and see what happens.

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