Friday, September 17, 2010

The 2011 Guinness Book of World Records was released on September 14th, so is anyone surprised that "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" beat out "Dark Knight" for the Highest Opening-Day Gross sales at $72.7 million.

In the 2010 version "Twilight" made it in under the record for Highest-Grossing Movie By A Female Director.

Which facts and figures from our Twilight universe do you predict will make it into the 2012 edition?

Hey Shacksters! You didn’t really think we’d only spend one weekend celebrating birthdays did ya? In Cullen style, Lab Tech Andi’s whole stash is full of vampire Bella to keep those fic withdrawals under control. So if your control isn’t as strong as newborn Bella’s, head immediately to the blue door behind the Love Shack, knock the bass line of “Jonathan Low” by Vampire Weekend and the password is “Invincible”. Be Safe!

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Bella had managed, with a little help from Alice, to successful dodge all the party people for her birthday and her wish for a quiet celebration at home was granted. Oddly enough, Esme still felt the desire to make a cake, despite the fact that none of the Cullens would be partaking in it. I think she just did it because it gave her yet another reason to entertain the occupants of the lab.

When the authors and I walked into the house, it was obvious that Alice and Esme had been extremely busy transforming the living room into what one might imagine the interior of a gigantic marshmallow to look like. Every surface was covered or draped in soft, white, plush coverings and thousands of large, white pillows were scattered all over the floor. It was beautiful and made you want to dive right into the middle of it.

“Wow, this is incredible!” I breathed, eyes wide.

“It really is, isn’t it?” Bella was suddenly standing beside me staring at the living room with all of us.

I turned to look at her, “Did you know they were going to do this?”

“Nope, but that’s Alice for ya!” she replied with a grin. Then a small figure appeared from the backdoor, squealed and blurred passed us launching themselves into the mountain of pillows.

That small figure was soon followed by a hulking blur shouting, “Nessie, watch me!” Emmett sprang into the air and completed a flip before landing in the pillows. Nessie laughed and clapped her hands exclaiming, “AGAIN! AGAIN!”

“Hey Nessie, want to see daddy try?” Edward called over to her. She nodded without hesitation and stepped back. Like a rocket, Edward shot towards the mountain and as he launched himself into the air, he spun once and completed two backward flips before he landed softly in the pillows. Nessie laughed and bounced over to him throwing her arms around his neck.

“Show off,” Emmett mumbled as all three of them climbed out of the pillows and soon the rest of the Cullens joined us; Esme carrying a cake with candles lit. We all sang and Bella and Nessie blew out the candles together.

“Present time!” Alice sang as she danced over with three packages. Bella just glared at her. “Don’t give me that look missy!” Alice glared back at her. “All these gifts were selected with peace and quiet in mind. At least you can’t give yourself paper cuts anymore. Go get comfortable everybody; Esme will serve cake after the gifts are open.”

“To the pillows!” Jasper declared as he marched over to the mountain and flung himself into the center. Everybody laughed as we all crawled in and made ourselves comfortable. Then Bella opened her gifts revealing a rare first edition of “Withering Heights” (because her other copy was so worn), a rare first edition of “Dracula” (because Emmett and Jasper thought Bella should know what a REAL vampire acted like, which made us all laugh), and an iPad (so that she could read any book, listen to music, or even read some of the fan fiction recommendations over the wi-fi anytime she wanted). Esme brought over several pieces of cake for the humans while Bella thanked everyone for the gifts.

With cake in hand, I looked over at Emmett, “So, if Edward had been the human and Bella was the vampire, what kind of vampire do you think she would have been?”

“Oh Andi, that’s easy! She would have bitten him that first day.” He said reclining back into his spot. “Eddie here would have been a dead man.” He chuckled at the thought.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Carlisle interjected. “Bella is who she is; turning her really didn’t change her personality. So I think she would have fought the urge just like Edward did.”

“Do you think she would have enjoyed vampirism more than Edward?” I asked taking a bite of my cake.

“Hey now!” Edward argued. “I’ve enjoyed being a vampire!”

Jasper rolled his eyes and looked at Edward, “Oh please! Before Bella, the self-loathing that flowed off you daily was enough to drive any human to over-dose. Believe me; I do not miss that at all!” Bella and Rosalie giggled knowing that was probably true.

“I really never acted much like a human anyway,” Bella stated as she snuggled closer to Edward. “I probably wouldn’t have looked at it if it were a curse like Edward used to.” Then he kissed her nose and they both smiled.

“So, is this something you want the authors to take on? See what kind of vamp they would make her?” I asked the group as I finished off my cake and set the plate aside.

“Oh yeah! This will be awesome!” Emmett looked like he’d just received the best news ever.

“I guess we should be headed back to the lab then,” I started to get up but stopped when Alice raced out of the room and back in again carrying several laptops.

“Don’t go. Bella wants quiet anyway, so she’ll just sit and read. These laptops are all setup, so you can work here.” Alice said as she handed each of the authors a computer.

“Well, okay then, for Bella’s birthday, we’ll work here” I told them and the authors cheered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So as we settled in to our plush mountain, all my deals have an essence of vampire Bella, even if Edward isn’t human in all of them. I hope you enjoy:

My first immortal Bella lives in a tale called “Bella, The Lioness” by BellaMadonna. In this in-progress story, Bella survives unimaginable odds as a human, but when her body begins to fail her, Carlisle gives her a choice she never knew she had. As a vampire, she knows there’s not much she can’t over come, even the allure of a singer. But when that singer breaks her heart, will she be strong enough to love again? I love that this story is not just a reverse Twilight even though the characters stay true to their namesakes. There are things here that will make you giggle, I know reading about Edward’s great-grandfather made me laugh a little. If you want to know why, you’ll have to read it to find out.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4920163

My next vampire Bella has her own coven in “The Hunt” by AcrossTheSkyInStars. In this in-progress tale, Edward and Emmett are brothers who hunt supernatural creatures. However, something goes horribly wrong while hunting down a werewolf in Ohio and Emmett is kidnapped by a vampire. Not sure if his brother is dead or alive, Edward is on the hunt to find him, battling the supernatural and his lust for the coven leader...Bella. It won’t be long before Edward figures out things are not always as they seem.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5668096

This next vampire Bella in “Eternally Damned” by twiXlite, doesn’t have a human Edward, but do you remember when Bella asked “So where did it all start?” This, in-progress tale is the answer to that question. It all started with Edward. He is THE ultimate vampire, the original. What happens when rumors in Volterra cause him to pay the Cullens' a visit just to see what they’re up to? Will he find them a threat to the world he's spent an eternity shaping and destroy them or will he find something else? This Edward is pretty dark and cocky, but just for Jasper’s sanity, there’s no self-loathing.http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5023928

My last deal is something short and sweet, just to clear the palette, called “Once Bitten” by NoMoreThanUsual. This is a sort of missing scene one-shot for the original Twilight saga. It’s a conversation where Bella and Edward imagine how things would have been different on their first day in Biology if Bella were the vampire and Edward the human. After the conversation I had with Emmett, do you think that this really happened or is it only fiction. Read it and let me know.http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=1293

Just to go along with all these, I think it should be something bittersweet, just like the fics. So reach for the dark chocolate and a martini glass ‘cause we’re makin’ Chocolate Martinis:

Mixing instructionsRim a chilled glass with cocoa powder. Mix all ingredients in a shaker with ice, shake and pour into glass.

So maybe I’ll be able to talk Alice into moving some of those pillows into the lab for us to relax on and then I’ll never want to leave the lab. Tweet (FanFicDealer), Message, or email (fanficdealer@gmail.com) if you want to talk shop.