The greatest flyers of Fleet Street were in attendance at a packed Shafta awards ceremony last night. After a slap-up supper thanks to the almost-invisible sponsors Vodafone, and the screening of most of the Chelsea v Liverpool game, master of ceremonies Johnny Vaughan took to the stage, quoting Sean Hoare's wise words: "Fuck the facts, just quote a friend - the pub's open in 10 minutes."

Kicking 'em while they're downOther Vaughany highlights included: "With the freefall reductions in staff and readership, isn't it about time The People was renamed The Person?"

Wearing thinGiving lessons to hacks who want to get on TV, Vaughan advised Joe Mott: "Don't wear wacky outfits. Silly clothes are the domain of kids TV. Joe Mott failed to recognise this during his recent stint on ITV2's Deadline - so called because that's what Mott's agent usually gets when he phones TV producers on behalf of this client."

Trusted source?Vaughan also announced at the end that Chelsea, not Liverpool, had won on penalties. "Though I was told that by a hack here, so who knows?"

Hair today ...The ghost of Shaftas past revisited poor Rick Sky. Rick won the award for worst broadcaster for wearing a wig on BBC News 24. He was greeted by chants of "off, off" as he collected his award. Even the most callous of hacks felt a little twinge at Rick's embarrassment. It's the old adage - criticise a man's career and talent and it's fine. Draw attention to his receding hairline and it's another matter. As Ian Hyland will testify for doing the same to Johnny Vaughan last year.

Flying the flagShaftas organisers James Herring and Sean O'Brien pulled off a last-minute celebrity appearance by Eurovision contenders Scooch. Dressed in their signature aircraft cabin staff outfits, it was an appropriate choice, considering the audience have collectively authored so many flyers their air miles points must be off the scale. On the whim of a request by Herring, Scooch agreed to present Rav Singh with his award just half an hour before the ceremony proper began. "Fuck the Baftas, Fuck the Grammys. This is the only awards ceremony we wanted to come to," they told the assembled throng to cheers.

So bad, it's goodOK! magazine seems to have got the wrong end of the Shaftas stick. Last year it won the worst magazine award and proudly mentioned it in its own pages. This year, while most winners sloped off, the gang from OK! celebrated their winning magazine of the year by drinking champagne at the bar til 1am. Monkey memo to OK! - the award is for WORST magazine of the year.

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