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Hurricane

(Yeah, this is a rewrite of a previous post, to those who already read it. I wanted to reconfigure it.)

I stand in the eye of a hurricane. Around me, the world blurs as I try to reach out. There were only three opportunities, and I knew which one I wanted.

The opportunity was difficult, but worthwhile, and as it zoomed by faster and faster, as I watched all the other chances go by slowly, nearly begging me to seize them, I reached. I focused. Then three more were introduced.

Focus was lost. I stumbled and recoiled my hand from the winds. I re-evaluated as the past was brought into the present, and ideas swirled. What was I to do, Lord? How was I to move forward? But He was silent, and as I saw my goal and reached out, and five more items crashed into the hurricane.

My focus was blown, and as I had a hundred things in life falling down on me, I sat. I sat because more often than not in the silence of the eye, when I stopped reaching for what I thought I wanted, He would calm the storm and show me.

So here I sit, patiently waiting for His will, as the storm will die, and I will know my path. For I might make plans, but He sets my steps.

***

I do not know how to do the line thing on tablet. So you get the little astricks. Also, no spell check on this. We’re totally in free for all.

I’m currently in the airport, waiting for my flight to Atlanta so I can get to Charlotte. At which point we just heard about a direct flight to Charlotte. Also, we get to the hotel about four hours before anything happens, so I’m taking a nap! Followed by a shower. Or bath. We’ll see how much time I have when I wake up. I find baths are way underrated in our current generation.

Now I’m on the airplane and I think we almost had an incident. This woman took someone else’s seat and just started flipping out. Said she was about to snap. “I love my end seat, don’t ya’ll make me snap on ya.” And I’m thinking, I doubt the two people surrounding you would mind all that greatly.

Anyway, on the plane, and by the time I post this I will be in Atlanta (because I can’t post from the plane).

Ultimately right now life is continuous flow. I got published yesterday. I moved out yesterday. I am going to a training in South Carolina today. I move in Monday. I have a men’s retreat next weekend. God’s been pretty plain in guiding me. Now I want to date. There are those I’m interested in. But dynamics keep changing and I keep losing focus. At the end of the day, that’s usually a sign I need to be patient and wait. But I hate waiting. I miss being in love. I’m an obnoxious romantic. After reading old letters, I miss that.

So I wait in the eye of the storm, living life at such a pace I didn’t even have time to celebrate getting published. And I’m only halfway through. But God is good, He’s been great to me so far, and I know I come out stronger and wiser every time.

God guide me, give me wisdom, give me the strength to keep walking forward, or to wait when I need to. Give me sanity when I feel like I’m going to break. I pray he gives each one of you the same.

"Before the sea she stood, still as a statue but for the wind rippling in her loose lavender-grey dress and toying with her black hair - it billowed in the salty breath of the ocean like a flag of defiance."