Getting Married in Vietnam

No, not yet but I’ve had some deep thoughts on the matter in recent months.

I don’t watch much TV these days, I prefer to spend my time outdoors appreciating the simpler things in life or spending time with a nice Asian lady or two. One show that has grown on me however is Game of Thrones, and whilst catching up on the latest series a quote from one of the characters really stuck in my head:

‘nothing fucks you harder than time’

Approaching what used to be considered ‘middle age’ in the West, like most people i’m surprised at how quickly my life seems to have passed me by, and the inevitable existential questions that come with this swirl around my head on an almost daily basis.

No one stays young forever, and I’ve recently noticed the negative effects of time upon both my body and mind slowly creeping up on me. I’ve always been quite anti marriage, but the virtues of a good wife and companionship appeal more as the years quickly advance.

One of the thoughts I wrestle with a lot is whether to settle down in Asia for the long term and marry, or stay single and enjoy the abundance that Asia has to offer. There’s plenty of older guys here that don’t settle and keep hitting the bars and clubs into their 60’s, and good for them. I’m sure with a good dose of Viagra and a shot or two of testosterone I could easily hope to do the same, but it just doesn’t appeal so much now.

I’m always surprised by the amount of available girls in Vietnam and the quality.

I’m not getting any younger however and the effort involved with the bars and dating scene in general really doesn’t appeal anymore. Having spent the summer in the UK, a baron dating land of obesity and entitlement within a week of landing in Saigon I can line up numerous dates with beautiful women. If I really put the time and effort into it I could probably set up a date for most nights of the week and find a decent girlfriend reasonably quickly.

I have friends who have married here however and most ultimately don’t recommend it for various reasons.

The Viets are very hot and cold and the cultural gap is very apparent. I still believe unless you learn the language well or she speaks very good English then you will face significant problems along the line. Not least in not being able to tell what the local village folk are saying about you!

I’d still much rather date a local girl here than a girl from back home though, and believe on the balance of probabilities a marriage here would be a better bet too. I know some guys who ‘have their cake and eat it’ so to speak. Wife at home and girlfriend(s) somewhere else. This seems like a lot of effort though and not really something that appeals to me.

Like many things in life the more the risk the more the potential reward, however when it comes to marriage and long term commitment in a foreign land, the jury’s still out.