How is one supposed to deport oneself in the presence of a force of
nature? For that, surely, was what I confronted last week in New Orleans as the
2003 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution sport sedan made its debut before a throng of
jaded journalists. With bolts of lightning searing the sky and torrents of water
gushing forth, flooding highways and pelting reporters, the Mitsubishi Evo
strode forth majestically and dominated the landscape.

The effect was positively Shakespearean, and it put me in mind of the
memorable parry between Glendower and Hotspur in Act Three of Henry IV, Part
1:

GLENDOWER: I say the earth did shake when I was
born.

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HOTSPUR: And I say the earth was not of my
mind,

If you suppose as fearing you it shook.

GLENDOWER: The heavens were all on fire; the earth
did tremble. ... I can call spirits from the vasty deep.

HOTSPUR: Why, so can I, or so can any man,

But will they come when you do call for
them?

Where the Evo’s spirits are concerned, I can attest that
they most assuredly did come when called. This is not the common run of car, you
see. It is the raging, scarcely civilized version of one of the most dominating
actors on the world rally car stage. Far from obscuring its prowess, New
Orleans’ February monsoon did instead showcase the Evo’s uncanny knack for
distributing 271 turbocharged horsepower through four wheels in deplorable
conditions. The effect was positively exhilarating.

Misleading badges

Don’t let the “Lancer” badge mislead you, by the way. Although the Evo
uses the platform otherwise devoted to Mitsubishi’s humble and forgettable
commuter compact, any resemblance between the two ends precisely there. It’s
important to understand that the Evo is actually a means to an end for
Mitsubishi’s rally racing ambitions. According to rules promulgated by the
august Fédération International de l’Automobile, all
vehicles in certain World Rally Championship (WRC) classes must be homologated —
that is, they must be manufactured in sufficient numbers with street-legal
raiment and for public consumption. The result, in this case, is the Lancer
Evolution VII, the seventh in a winning series of Mitsubishi’s production-based
rally racers.

2003 Mitsubishi Lancer

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Maybe it helps to think of things in terms of NASCAR meets The Fast
and the Furious. After all, there
once was a time when stock car racing featured real production models that would
“win on Sunday, sell on Monday.” NASCAR’s devolution into a carnival-like,
kookie-car atmosphere with no grip on reality deserves to be supplanted by
exciting WRC cars whose off-road, on-road, through-the-air exploits are
thrilling performance enthusiasts from Britain to Borneo. The very car you can
watch yanking through a 90-mile-an-hour, 180-degree hairpin while spraying icy
gravel off 9000-foot cliffsides in the Alps is the very car you can buy for
your own daily commute.

2003 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

The Lancer’s arrival upon these shores represents a casting
down of the gauntlet. For two years, Subaru has had rally-car wannabes all to
itself with its plucky Impreza WRX model. No longer. In terms of their relative
spec sheets, the Evo as much as brushes the WRX aside with the back of its hand.
Judge for yourself — Evo horsepower: 271 hp; WRX: 227 hp. Evo torque: 273 lb-ft;
WRX: 217 lb-ft. Although longer, wider, taller and heavier, the Evo manages
0 to 60 mph in about five seconds, the WRX in about six.
Both seat five in a four-door layout; both boast 2.0-liter turbo four-cylinders; both mate five-speed
manual transmissions to all-time all-wheel drive (although an auto transmission is also available in the WRX).
The real-world equalizer is price: the Evo costs $28,987; a comparable WRX costs $24,690.

Louisiana let-go

In a phrase, the Lancer Evo combines head-snapping
acceleration with unflappable cornering and flawless, fade-free braking. At No
Problem Raceway in Belle Rose, La., west of New Orleans, about a dozen tentative
journalists edged out onto a racetrack with water standing inches deep in many
places. Within three laps, speeds were well into three digits and traction was
magnificent thanks to four-wheel power and impeccable Yokohama ADVAN tires in a
very-low 45-profile size.

2003 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

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The Evo’s short-throw competition shifter is almost
push-button precise with its gear changes. The intercooled, twin-scroll
turbocharger boosts power in a predictable, progressive way that never seems to
stop pulling the head back into a formfitting Recaro race bucket seat. A neat
feature that seemed irrelevant in the rain is the intercooler sprayer that cools
(and thereby compresses) combustion air for optimum performance. A console
rocker switch for it toggles between manual and auto operation.

2003 Mitsubishi Lancer

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Best of all, to my taste, is the stiffness of
body-and-suspension interplay, using sophisticated forged aluminum components
and reinforcing spot welds everywhere. Once those big Brembo disc brakes have
clamped you down to proper cornering speed, the suspension reacts brilliantly to
the complex combination of steering and throttle inputs. You can actually feel
individual wheels dig in at different rates in search of their optimum share of
all-wheel-drive traction.

As a civilian, the Evo is agreeable in traffic and
particularly comfortable thanks to those Recaro buckets. Clutch throw is a bit
on the long side, so it took a few miles to establish the proper shifting
rhythm; otherwise the powertrain is polite and poised in stop-and-go traffic.
Creature comforts consist of the usual suspects: air conditioning; power windows
and mirrors; AM/FM/CD audio. The only options are a sunroof and a dominating
basket-handle of a rear wing in carbon fiber.

But if you’re wondering where your extra cupholders and
seat heaters and assorted other gadgets are while driving this car, you’re out
of your depth. This is a pocket-sized, performance-car masterpiece. It can call
spirits from the vasty deep. If you’re not ready for them when they materialize,
they’ll swamp you before you can say, “Boo!”