Sunday, October 01, 2006

Wheeeeeeeeeee

Say, that reminds me: I've been meaning to write a letter to the white-flight ex-burbs of Dallas for some time now. Lemme just dash that off right quick:

Dear Frisco, Plano, Allen, McKinney, and any and all of your future offspring:

No matter how far away you move from the city, "minorities" will always catch up with you. It turns out they also are fond of nice houses, nice neighborhoods, and good school districts. Who knew?

While you remain shitting yourselves in terror of that eventuality, may I ask that you please refrain from using your cellphones while careening down 190, aka the President George Bush Turnpike, in your motherfucking SUVs. Thank you.

You know something? I don't miss you assclowns a bit.

Love,

Ilyka

P.S. I still owe the North Texas Tollway Authority money and I don't care.

The other day, I was biking to work - in the middle of a lane, which I'm legally allowed to do - when some asshole in a truck removed his cell phone from his face long enough to yell at me to bike more carefully.

Thank the lord i got rid of the car; but while i was still insane enough to try to drive in NYC, i once had the lovely experience of sitting incredulously as the guy in front of me attempted to PARALLEL PARK whilst yakking on the cell.