5.22.2005

Spurs 1, Suns 0

Nothing really to say about the game, but it would be cowardly of me to not open up a space for Spurs fans to fire away. Steven Hunter gets more goaltends than anyone in the league. The job San Antonio did on Nash at the end was exemplary. Those screwy match-ups, which seemed to change with every possession, somehow ended up taking Marion out of the game instead of hurting both teams. Why is Joey Johnson so defensive about returning to the line-up?

Amare's duelling neck tattoos—"Black Jesus" and "Lord Knows"—are currently sitting atop my NBA ink rankings. Is there any way he realizes how clever the combination of the two is? Why is "Black Jesus" the only nickname taken on only by those who deserve it?

If the Spurs had lost, everyone would be saying "smart team, great coach, they'll find a way to make adjustments for the next game." I'd like to think that the Suns have earned that respect over the playoffs, meaning we should expect them to come back strong, guard Barry, get Marion to work out on the perimeter some, and even things up.

To bitch one more time: I realize that Johnson's left eye looks like a traumatized fruit, and I'm sure it hampers his game. But it's not career-threatening, and he needs to stop pretending he's in long-term danger if he plays too soon. If his Arkansas accent weren't so pricelessly unintelligible, I'd be really annoyed with him at this point.

I was trying to think of somebody famous that you could call a traumatized fruit, when it took more than a few seconds and I couldn't come up with anybody I just thought about who I wished was a traumatized fruit. Rumsfeld was at the top of my wish list.