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Today is a day that's traditionally given over to turkey, stuffing, pie and other overindulges. And it's a time to give thanks for the things in our life for which we're grateful. And traditionally, I've taken the first full week of December and used it to write blog entries expressing my gratitude for the things in my life that make me happy. I've called it the Week of Gratitude, and I've always loved this exercise, as it provides me with perspective, and a way to let the people who have touched me the most how they've influenced me. It reminds me how lucky I am, and how much I love my life.

But this year…the last twelve months have been the absolute worst time of my life. There are very few things I can imagine that would have made it worse. And that’s why this year I’ve decided to extend my Week of Gratitude to a Month of Gratitude. For the month of December, I’ll find something each day to be grateful for. I’ll think about that gratitude, and make sure that the people who have made a difference in my life understand and are aware of their influence.

The reason I’m doubling down on this is somewhat hard to explain. I think, as my friend Jeri notes, that it has to do with finding a balance between integrating the memory and loss of my daughter into the fabric of my life, while resisting the urge to identify myself by that loss.

I recognize that I'll never be the same person I was before. My grief will remain with me, and will help to shape my life and my identity. As my friend Rivi explained, I'll never get over it, but I can get on with it. I'm trying to get on with it, and be defined by my gratitude, and my love.

About Me

I am a Hot Chick living in Castle Rock, CO with my fabulous family. We have a rescue dog named "Jackson," and she's a Basenji/Shepherd mix. She's something of a head case, but we love her. I'm a U.S. Navy vet, and I currently work as an Enterprise Solutions Architect, specializing in VoIP and multimedia contact center design. I'm a Trustee for my local library, because LIBRARIES. I care about science, the U.S. Constitution and the military. I'm a tax and spend liberal in a largely red county, but I try not to be stabby about it. I like to color, I aspire to run faster than I do, and I donate knitted cold weather gear to various charities. Stupidity, cupidity and wanton assholery piss me off, and I'm more than a little soft when it comes to dogs and those who serve others. I blog about whatever I feel like. I use foul language, so if that sort of thing offends you, feel free to fuck off now - if I'm unwilling to clean up my language for my fabulous Great Auntie Margie, I'm unlikely to do so for you. Newcomers are welcome here, especially those who disagree with me, but trolling and spamming will be met with the Shovel of Doom™.