I can hear it already, Gordon Ramsay screaming “it’s f***ing raw” into your ear before placing you between two slices of bread. But you don’t need top-of-the-line gas burners to cook to perfection. Your humble CPU not only chomps though calculations at a mile a minute, it can also double up as a handy stove top, too.

So here we go, a step-by-step guide to cooking on your AMD Phenom II courtesy of たれみみChannel (via HKEPC). Just a quick note before we get started: don’t do this (and don’t say we didn’t warn you, either). Anyways, the first step is to slice your vegetables. Luckily, the perfect tool is included in your motherboard box: the I/O shield. This handy tool has decimated PC builders’ hands over the years, so now it’s time to put it to better use slicing onions and carrots.

Once your veg is prepared, simply remove your cooler and apply a healthy dose of thermal paste. Then replace with a small pot. In which you’ll want to place some butter/oil, onions, and sauté.

Remove the onions and replace with your protein of choice. Fry that up, season, and once cooked through (it may take a while depending on how hot your CPU is running), top with the onions, carrots, and water. Make sure not to overfill because that would be an absolute disaster.

Finally, after letting your curry simmer for a little while, insert a curry cube for flavour. Guessing by たれみみChannel’s video it may take some time to dissolve.