Don't Weigh the Baby

Whatevs haters. Weigh your baby. I don't care.

I am just saying you shouldn't.

I'm just saying don't.

<disclaimer> I'm a history teacher. Don't take my advice on science, parenting, life, cooking, or anything. In fact don't read this blog. Shut the page right now. Stumble upon some other page (confession: don't even know what stumble upon is... and there is some kind of gadget right over <------------ there hanging out on my blog telling you to do it).

Good now that you're not reading anymore.

Don't

Weigh

The

Baby

Background:

Dylan, 3.5, was 3 weeks early, 5 pounds, and underweight forever (still is). He lost weight, nursed for 2 hours at a time, and made having a newborn stressful all around.

I read the books.

The ones that read like stereo instructions.

The baby should be gaining x-ounces every x-days.

The baby should be nursing x-long every x-hours.

I saw the charts.

I followed them.

I didn't follow D.

I never once just didn't think. I over-analyzed every whimper, cry, and doctor's appointment.

Every wake-up.

Every feeding.

Every everything.

We bought the above scale and weighed him all the time.

Stripped off all his clothes and weighed him multiple times a day - freaking out about his lack of progress.

Weight gain (or lack of weight gain) got so stressful for me, I made my husband take him to the doctor while I sat and pumped in the car (under obviously ideal pumping conditions -- comfortable, stress free, relaxed...).

So... I didn't like the way that things went the first time around.

So... along comes baby E.

1+ weeks late.

On his own terms.

With a doula and more than 3 days of labor and 3 hours of pushing (fyi - the 3 days of labor - I was having contractions every 5 minutes - I don't know about karma - but I feel like I was paying for something...)

With E, I have NEVER once looked at the clock.

Never really thought much about anything.

If he's crying I feed him.

Now that he eats real food, I give him everything.

I don't worry about the doctors' anymore.

Until yesterday.

E didn't gain weight. UGH.

Good thing, like me, my doctor is not an alarmist.

He just said we'll check again when he's 1 and that was that. Feed him full fat foods, he's meeting his milestones, it's all good.

Same doctor, same attitude, different mommy.

E's meeting his milestones way faster than D did. I don't know that there is enough air in my house for all the talking in my future.

I am stress free.

I just wish D's mom could have met E's mom a few years ago.

With all this said, I was just cleaning for the first time in a while <read since before Christmas... I had to vaccum up the pine needles> and stumbled upon (pun intended) one of my favorite old books (I collect them).

I opened it up right to a weight chart from 1901. I thought - I bet my baby is normal then... before babies were huge (nope).

But then I read Dr. Kerley's recommendations.

"The use of a weight chart I do not advise. Such a chart, while recommended by many well known writers, has been the cause of serious trouble... Worry and anxiety have cause the milk of hundreds of mothers to fail, and rendered further nursing impossible..."

Sounds a little crunchy right?

I bet he cloth diapered too.

Hard to believe before the internet, facebook, online mom's groups, and ratemydoctor.com, that he knew what he was talking about.

My summary.

Don't

Weigh

The

Baby

:)

OK - off to learn "How to Lift the Baby."

This post was featured here:

Hop on over to these blogs where - if they are lucky - I'll share this :)

25 comments:

Such good advice to a new mom! Isn't it amazing how much difference there can be between #1 and #2 baby? I worried so much less about germs and stuff with my second one.

My first born was small. He was in the 5% until he was five, meaning that 95% of kids his age were taller than him until he was five.

My mom said when she had kids the doctor said they had to eat every four hours. She said she had to set an alarm clock for every four hours and WAKE US UP to eat, lol! We weren't underweight, it was just what they did back then apparently. At least, her doctor did.

:) I never weighed my son...but the dr insisted! I knew he was healthy ;-)I found you on the Clever Chicks Hop and I would love to have you join the fun on my Creative HomeAcre Hop!http://www.theselfsufficienthomeacre.com/2013/02/the-creative-homeacre-hop.html

Ha ha! That excerpt from "Short Talks with Young Mothers" was so perfect; and clearly, exactly what you needed to hear! Thanks for directing me to this great post in your comment on my blog. It was a wonderful read!

I totally get this. I've had 4, and ALL of them have lost more than the allotted 10% of weight because they started off BIG. As in, 3 of them were well over 10 pounds. I honestly think the weight charts should only be used for bottle-fed babies, because you can measure what they take in. Not so with a BF baby. As long as they have plenty of wet and dirty diapers, it seems they should be fine! Just my 2 cents. :)

Interesting about the 1901 advice! Just had my 4th...and he was 2 pounds lighter than my last two at birth. I've been very curious as to whether he's going to stay tiny or get huge like the others (who started big and stayed big)....but not curious enough to actually buy a scale or anything. Fortunately, no one has any time to worry by their 4th baby ;)

I love this post. Modern methods have Mamas so stressed out nowadays! It's about time we all get the freedom, encouragement, and support to do what comes natural and just nurse our sweet little babies :)

Haha. I don't know what Stumble Upon really is either and it's on my blog too. :D As for the whole mommy thing. Somebody once said wouldn't it be nice if we could have had our last baby first. Agreed. I nursed too and I was fortunate to be home with my three. I fed them when the cried or if I was trying to watch something on television. :D You know what, they all turned out fine and nobody seems to have any long term detrimental weight or mommy attachment issues. :D You are doing just fine. Love your humor. Keep writing.p

I came over from Clever Chicks Blog hop and I really like this post. I have 6 children, ages 3-18....yep, that's right 3-18. My oldest 2 boys weighed the exact same at birth 7lbs 7oz. My oldest son weighed 18.5lbs at 1 year, my second son weighed 20lbs at 4 months! They are both now almost 6ft tall and the older one weighs 160 and the younger 150. All I can say is if you feed your kids healthy foods, over time it all evens out.

This is fantastic! I'm pinning this to our Tuesday Baby Link Up board! The one time when I think weighing the baby is a good thing is before and after a feeding when you or a doctor need reassurance that the baby is indeed taking in milk.

I was a great crunchy mom the first time around-- didn't do a bunch of doctor visits (probably most of them till he was six months, then we stopped going) because we didn't vax, and I knew my chunky monkey was nursing well and meeting all milestones. He had excema, so we talked to the doc about that. My second baby did one well baby visit lol. He has been to the doc a handful of times for illness.

My babies started life at different weights: DS1 was 7pounds 11oz, and DS2 was 9 pounds 4 oz. DS1 was 9 days early, and DS 2 was 11 days late. They were both about 20 pounds at 6 months. DS1 was in the low 20s till he was 2 and a half, and he is about 40-45 pounds at 7. There is every indication DS 2 will be going the same way. He is 22 pounds at almost 1 (in two weeks!!!!). They are both healthy eaters. DS2 has been eating solids (against my will, I didn't want him to grow up ;)) since he was almost 5 months old, but he still nurses many, many times a day.

TL,DR: my kids are both healthy, despite their weight changes. Weight is just one indicator amongst many others to prove health ;)

As I think you learned, this mama gig is about learning to trust yourself, which can be SOOO hard, especially if we are trying to raise our family differently than we were raised.

I just found your blog on house of hepworths, and am really enjoying reading it. I think we have similar parenting paths, and I am sure to be commenting a lot. :D

This is such an important post - with both my kiddos, we had "weight issues" (doctor's words) that turned out to be nothing and had everyone worried for no good reasons. Thanks for sharing this with us!