MOM and MIL Loooooong!

Backstory:
Im coaching in some basketball camps for the month of June. 3 days a week for 5 hours each day. Im usually a SAHM. I haven't left my DD for more than a couple hours. She has never been left with my MIL (honestly don't trust her). But we are gonna give her 1 chance. Here is our schedule that I have typed out for both grandmas. Let me know if I'm being too uptight.
Dear Grandma Nettie and Grandma,
L has been doing this routine since day 3. She knows it very well. If you stick to this routine it will make her day and your day go very smooth (and our night). Modifying it just a little bit will confuse her and throw her off. That is not fair to L. Please trust what we are doing and follow it.
L's Routine
10:00-10:45-wake up
Change diaper
Tummy time
11:00-eat BM** (Burp)
Playtime-jump in jumperoo
(this is when I eat my lunch)
12:00-12:30-eat cereal w/ fruit
Few drinks of water
Burp
12:30-1:00 Playtime
(tummy time, jumperoo, read books, play outside with Gabe, sing, dance)
Change Diaper
12:45ish- Start a video to trigger Naptime routine. Put L in her jumperoo and let her watch about 20 min video
1:00-1:30 Naptime
-Put pacifier in her mouth.
-Sit in recliner.
-Do not recline.
-Turn off light in living room.
-Keep tv on and volume level no louder than 20.
-Limit eye contact w/ L.
-Do not talk to her.
-We don't rock her to sleep.
-Just hold her.
-Gently patting her butt helps.
-She sometimes gets a crazy arm. I let her hold my hand and that helps her calm down.
-Once L has been asleep in your arms for 10 min (no sooner and no later-this will mess up her sleep cycle) put her down in her crib on her side. If you hold her during her nap she will not get a full nap in.
~Babywise Rule: Mommy says when naptime begins and ends. Not baby~
-L must sleep at least 1 1/2 hours. If she wakes up before that and is fussy put her back to sleep just like before. If she wakes up and is happy then naptime is over. (Don't immediately go into her room right when you hear her. Give her 10-15 min to wake up.)-that's only if she isn't fussing. If you hear her fussing go in to get her. When she sees you she will smile and try to get attention from you. Do not give her the attention or eye contact. Go thru the naptime routine again immediately. She has to learn it's time to sleep, not play.
Once L is asleep keep the loud noises to a minimum. She is used to hearing the tv. But please don't bang dishes, or talk on the phone loudly. If you need to talk on the phone, go in the back yard so she won't wake up.
2:30ish- Change diaper
Playtime-Tummy time or jumperoo
3:00- eat BM--but we are going to try and push her to about 3:30 so I can nurse her. So if she happens to be sleeping when it's 3:00, let her sleep. Don't wake her.
**If L won't take the BM from her sippy cup try using a dropper to let her taste it. If she still won't, DO NOT give her the cereal and fruits at all. Eating solids is for fun not for replacement of the BM.
She will eat the BM if she's really hungry.

Backstory:
Im coaching in some basketball camps for the month of June. 3 days a week for 5 hours each day. Im usually a SAHM. I haven't left my DD for more than a couple hours. She has never been left with my MIL (honestly don't trust her). But we are gonna give her 1 chance. Here is our schedule that I have typed out for both grandmas. Let me know if I'm being too uptight.
Dear Grandma Nettie and Grandma,
L has been doing this routine since day 3. She knows it very well. If you stick to this routine it will make her day and your day go very smooth (and our night). Modifying it just a little bit will confuse her and throw her off. That is not fair to L. Please trust what we are doing and follow it.
L's Routine
10:00-10:45-wake up
Change diaper
Tummy time
11:00-eat BM** (Burp)
Playtime-jump in jumperoo
(this is when I eat my lunch)
12:00-12:30-eat cereal w/ fruit
Few drinks of water
Burp
12:30-1:00 Playtime
(tummy time, jumperoo, read books, play outside with Gabe, sing, dance)
Change Diaper
12:45ish- Start a video to trigger Naptime routine. Put L in her jumperoo and let her watch about 20 min video
1:00-1:30 Naptime
-Put pacifier in her mouth.
-Sit in recliner.
-Do not recline.
-Turn off light in living room.
-Keep tv on and volume level no louder than 20.
-Limit eye contact w/ L.
-Do not talk to her.
-We don't rock her to sleep.
-Just hold her.
-Gently patting her butt helps.
-She sometimes gets a crazy arm. I let her hold my hand and that helps her calm down.
-Once L has been asleep in your arms for 10 min (no sooner and no later-this will mess up her sleep cycle) put her down in her crib on her side. If you hold her during her nap she will not get a full nap in.
~Babywise Rule: Mommy says when naptime begins and ends. Not baby~
-L must sleep at least 1 1/2 hours. If she wakes up before that and is fussy put her back to sleep just like before. If she wakes up and is happy then naptime is over. (Don't immediately go into her room right when you hear her. Give her 10-15 min to wake up.)-that's only if she isn't fussing. If you hear her fussing go in to get her. When she sees you she will smile and try to get attention from you. Do not give her the attention or eye contact. Go thru the naptime routine again immediately. She has to learn it's time to sleep, not play.
Once L is asleep keep the loud noises to a minimum. She is used to hearing the tv. But please don't bang dishes, or talk on the phone loudly. If you need to talk on the phone, go in the back yard so she won't wake up.
2:30ish- Change diaper
Playtime-Tummy time or jumperoo
3:00- eat BM--but we are going to try and push her to about 3:30 so I can nurse her. So if she happens to be sleeping when it's 3:00, let her sleep. Don't wake her.
**If L won't take the BM from her sippy cup try using a dropper to let her taste it. If she still won't, DO NOT give her the cereal and fruits at all. Eating solids is for fun not for replacement of the BM.
She will eat the BM if she's really hungry.

Honestly, your schedule is a bit too much. I am very particular about how things are done with my LO, am a SAHM and have only left LO with my mom a couple of times. But, I think your written schedule is so tight that it will actually drive your mom & MIL to stray from it because even I would find it too difficult to adhere to. Every 15 minutes is asigned to something specific. That's just a lot for someone to stick to. They need to feel that you trust them a teeny bit. That schedule might offend them because it leaves no room for their own activities with your LO. I would loosen it up a bit. Give them guidelines but not every single move of your day. Just my opinion. Good luck!

Honestly, your schedule is a bit too much. I am very particular about how things are done with my LO, am a SAHM and have only left LO with my mom a couple of times. But, I think your written schedule is so tight that it will actually drive your mom & MIL to stray from it because even I would find it too difficult to adhere to. Every 15 minutes is asigned to something specific. That's just a lot for someone to stick to. They need to feel that you trust them a teeny bit. That schedule might offend them because it leaves no room for their own activities with your LO. I would loosen it up a bit. Give them guidelines but not every single move of your day. Just my opinion. Good luck!

how old is your LO? It does seem a bit full on. I think anyone would struggle to do things exactly the same as you do it. But sometimes its good to get LO used to be settled in different ways and by different people. What do you do when you're away from your house and don't have the recliner or the video or the volume set at 20 etc? you need to teach LO to be able to adapt to different situations

how old is your LO? It does seem a bit full on. I think anyone would struggle to do things exactly the same as you do it. But sometimes its good to get LO used to be settled in different ways and by different people. What do you do when you're away from your house and don't have the recliner or the video or the volume set at 20 etc? you need to teach LO to be able to adapt to different situations

I'm actually from Nov, but I hope you don't mind my replying. Any time I leave my kids with my mom they get off schedule. I used to nanny & babysit, & a lot of kids change schedules when a new caregiver is introduced. I would definitely leave a schedule, but I wouldn't make it so absolute. I would worry that if LO doesn't follow it your mom & MIL will feel like a failure & get stressed. I would say "Here is LO's schedule. Please try & follow it as this is what she's used to. Here are also some tips that might make your day easier. Have fun & enjoy each other!" It may affect your at home schedule a little at first, but they'll find their own groove that works for them & it should adjust back to normal.

I'm actually from Nov, but I hope you don't mind my replying. Any time I leave my kids with my mom they get off schedule. I used to nanny & babysit, & a lot of kids change schedules when a new caregiver is introduced. I would definitely leave a schedule, but I wouldn't make it so absolute. I would worry that if LO doesn't follow it your mom & MIL will feel like a failure & get stressed. I would say "Here is LO's schedule. Please try & follow it as this is what she's used to. Here are also some tips that might make your day easier. Have fun & enjoy each other!" It may affect your at home schedule a little at first, but they'll find their own groove that works for them & it should adjust back to normal.

I'm not trying to be rude at all but that is just crazy. When your lo is with you this may work but others will lose their mind trying to follow. I can understand having a schedule for sleep times and maybe even feeding times but play time should be fun for the lo ad grandparents, not work. I know I would be taken back by that list and be scared to watch your lo

I'm not trying to be rude at all but that is just crazy. When your lo is with you this may work but others will lose their mind trying to follow. I can understand having a schedule for sleep times and maybe even feeding times but play time should be fun for the lo ad grandparents, not work. I know I would be taken back by that list and be scared to watch your lo

I agree, that's a bit much. I'd be nervous to watch your daughter after reading that. Why not just give them a general idea of her day, like when she naps and what to feed her. I think you'll have a hard time convincing the grandmas to let her cry during her nap or not going in and making eye contact or talking to her.

I agree, that's a bit much. I'd be nervous to watch your daughter after reading that. Why not just give them a general idea of her day, like when she naps and what to feed her. I think you'll have a hard time convincing the grandmas to let her cry during her nap or not going in and making eye contact or talking to her.

I think you need to remember that your mom and MIL are doing you a favor to watch LO, not the other way around. My rule is that paid childcare I will expect most things done my way, but not every last thing. My family watching them for me get a schedule and basic instructions, and if I come home to a happy baby we're good no matter how that happened. And if that messes up my night, it's on me. My mom didn't ask me to go leave the house so she could spend her entire day caring for MY baby.

I know it's hard as a first time mom, but you have to relax a little bit, it's better for everyone!

I think you need to remember that your mom and MIL are doing you a favor to watch LO, not the other way around. My rule is that paid childcare I will expect most things done my way, but not every last thing. My family watching them for me get a schedule and basic instructions, and if I come home to a happy baby we're good no matter how that happened. And if that messes up my night, it's on me. My mom didn't ask me to go leave the house so she could spend her entire day caring for MY baby.

I know it's hard as a first time mom, but you have to relax a little bit, it's better for everyone!

I agree with the other posters, and here are two things that hopefully will make you feel more at ease: 1. Babies are usually more flexible than we give them credit for. If she is being watched in your home by grandmas that love her and that do things at about the right times, she is going to feel secure. Her schedule might get thrown off a little bit, but you might be surprised....she may not really be affected by differences that much at all. 2. Grandmas have raised kids themselves. I have to remind myself of this at times, especially with my MIL :)! Unless they are crazy or abusive (in which case I am sure you wouldn't have them watching LO), they will be fine with just a general schedule and a tip or two. I know it is hard to hand over control, but she will do great. Hth.

I agree with the other posters, and here are two things that hopefully will make you feel more at ease: 1. Babies are usually more flexible than we give them credit for. If she is being watched in your home by grandmas that love her and that do things at about the right times, she is going to feel secure. Her schedule might get thrown off a little bit, but you might be surprised....she may not really be affected by differences that much at all. 2. Grandmas have raised kids themselves. I have to remind myself of this at times, especially with my MIL :)! Unless they are crazy or abusive (in which case I am sure you wouldn't have them watching LO), they will be fine with just a general schedule and a tip or two. I know it is hard to hand over control, but she will do great. Hth.

I think that it is nice and helpful to have a frame work for lo day. And your routine is great for them to have just incase they can't get her to sleep. However, I would take out all the 'DO NOT' type statement because they are helping you out and preface it with 'This is what i do by do whatever works for you and baby.' It is hard to let go of the control when you are a sahm but I agree with pp about pay vs free family childcare. Also, just prepare yourself for crappy sleep in June. Even if your mom and MIL follow it to the letter they are not you and your lo will be off.
With my 1st lo I struggled to let go of the control and allow other people to take care of him their way. Eventually I did and now I love the relationship he has with my parents, in-laws and aunts and uncles. Now with number 2 I barely have a routine and I am just thankful when someone will hold her! Good luck and enjoy the time away!!

I think that it is nice and helpful to have a frame work for lo day. And your routine is great for them to have just incase they can't get her to sleep. However, I would take out all the 'DO NOT' type statement because they are helping you out and preface it with 'This is what i do by do whatever works for you and baby.' It is hard to let go of the control when you are a sahm but I agree with pp about pay vs free family childcare. Also, just prepare yourself for crappy sleep in June. Even if your mom and MIL follow it to the letter they are not you and your lo will be off.
With my 1st lo I struggled to let go of the control and allow other people to take care of him their way. Eventually I did and now I love the relationship he has with my parents, in-laws and aunts and uncles. Now with number 2 I barely have a routine and I am just thankful when someone will hold her! Good luck and enjoy the time away!!

I agree with pp's it's definitely a bit much. I give guidelines for naps, food and when to play but other than that they should have some flexibility. I am a firm believer in routines, but I also think babies should learn to be flexible sometimes too. Giving hints and tips for naptime is fine, but it's just too rigid. I'd rewrite it.

I agree with pp's it's definitely a bit much. I give guidelines for naps, food and when to play but other than that they should have some flexibility. I am a firm believer in routines, but I also think babies should learn to be flexible sometimes too. Giving hints and tips for naptime is fine, but it's just too rigid. I'd rewrite it.

I have LO on a pretty regular schedule and I ask my Mom to adhere to it in terms of nap and food times. But the rest is up to her! She has her own method of soothing and they play their own way. LO loves it and does great with her. Her method of soothing does not work for me and mine doesn't work for her but both work out just fine. I think it's fair to ask them to keep LO on her basic schedule, but scheduling every minute is asking too much. They need to be able to develop their own relationships with your babe. A little diversity is good for LO, and she might discover some new games and skills.

I have LO on a pretty regular schedule and I ask my Mom to adhere to it in terms of nap and food times. But the rest is up to her! She has her own method of soothing and they play their own way. LO loves it and does great with her. Her method of soothing does not work for me and mine doesn't work for her but both work out just fine. I think it's fair to ask them to keep LO on her basic schedule, but scheduling every minute is asking too much. They need to be able to develop their own relationships with your babe. A little diversity is good for LO, and she might discover some new games and skills.

Wow. I don't think I could follow this schedule and remain sane and I live routine.
Your baby is a baby not an army recruit. Let her get some loving from gmas.
You really should tone it down for them and for the baby. Keep some things consistent but baby isn't in military school!!

Wow. I don't think I could follow this schedule and remain sane and I live routine.
Your baby is a baby not an army recruit. Let her get some loving from gmas.
You really should tone it down for them and for the baby. Keep some things consistent but baby isn't in military school!!

Thanks everyone for your input and suggestions. I will look back over it and revise some things. It's nice to have somewhere to go to get unbiased opinions and advice from people. I really appreciate it :)

Thanks everyone for your input and suggestions. I will look back over it and revise some things. It's nice to have somewhere to go to get unbiased opinions and advice from people. I really appreciate it :)

Not regarding the schedule, but I think one of the worst things to do is 'tip toe around' while baby sleeps. Go ahead & bang dishes, talk on the phone, vacuum, etc. If you stay quiet your LO won't be able to sleep when there is any noise and you will regret it later.

Not regarding the schedule, but I think one of the worst things to do is 'tip toe around' while baby sleeps. Go ahead & bang dishes, talk on the phone, vacuum, etc. If you stay quiet your LO won't be able to sleep when there is any noise and you will regret it later.

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