THAT WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS …

Monday 9 November
Chelsea reserves 3:3 Fulham reserves
Winter started tonight as a freezing Griffin Park witnessed some really bright and incisive football from a depleted Chelsea reserves, international calls deprived the side of Clifford, Sala and Borini so it was a good chance for youngsters like Milan Lalkovic and Billy Knott to shine.
Two goals were scored inside the first ten minutes as the players did their best to warm up the sparse crowd. Fulham took the lead before Billy Knott ran onto Sturridge’s lofted pass and buried his chance.
We fell behind again on the half-hour and had to wait until fifteen minutes into a scrappy second-half for Sturridge to round the keeper and roll into the net for 2-2. But just as you get your noses level then back come Fulham, one of their big lads at the back headed in a few minutes later.
Chelsea continued to play and a one-touch flowing move found Lalkovic leaping to head home five minutes from time. Everyone agreed that a draw was a fair result but Chelsea can take the most encouragement form a game with five youth team players not overwhelmed at this level.
Meanwhile, Peter Kenyon joins the super-agents Creative Artists Agency (CAA) we are not sure if his duties extend beyond sharpening his own pencils because CAA already represent Beckham, Ronaldo, Mourinho and Andy Murray.
Oh, and yeah there was a guy brushing his teeth but let’s not get too excited.

Tuesday 10 November
The German goalkeeper Robert Enke died after being hit by a train in an apparent suicide. Enke, 32, was struck by a train at a level crossing near Hanover, where he played for Hannover 96. Germany have suspended training and media appointments.
Were you impressed by Ashley Cole’s performance on Sunday? Thought he was a little below par? He played the whole game against United with a fractured leg.
He sustained the injury when an Atletico Madrid boot connected last month at the Bridge and he had a while out to try to heal the depressed fracture of his tibia. He aggravated the problem on his return in Madrid and needed a pain killing injection to play on Sunday. He will not be back until the Arsenal game away when, with all our current cockiness aside, we’ll need him.
Didier will not be playing for the Ivory Coast against Guinea but may be back for the friendly with Germany on Wednesday.
Finally, Gus Poyet, the man who never stops talking, has been appointed as coach at Brighton and Hove Albion, we will follow that move with great interest.
Someone get Phil Gartside to shut his big mouth, the thick-witted Bolton chairman keeps raising the idea of a two tier Premiership including Glasgow Celtic and Rangers. Whole idea is full of holes, obviously it fails to understand what the word premier means and both Uefa and Fifa would never sanction clubs playing outside their own domestic league. So Gartside should shut up and feck off.

Wednesday 11 November
Jose Bosingwa will not be with us for a few more weeks. The Portuguese right-back had arthroscopic surgery on his knee and will be out for three months. It is a good thing we have a stockpile of right-backs.

Thursday 12 November
Now Frank Lampard has a thigh problem. England trained in the midday sun, as a lunatic fringe of local mutts are known to do, and all the players struggled. Brazil trained in the evening.
Frank had scans and the FA medical team in Doha said they thought two weeks, the club staff are more worried.
Carlo Cudicini suffered fractures to his pelvis and wrists after a motorbike crash. His injuries were described as; “potentially life-changing” by a hospital spokesman – we wish him all the best.
Sadly, Lee Sawyer has been let go. The promising midfielder, 20, was sent back by Southend United last month and has had his contract terminated.

Friday 13 November
Another day, another Chelsea player crocked. If it is Friday it must be John Terry. The Chelsea captain has an ankle knock and might miss Saturday’s ‘prestigious’ friendly, leaving only Wayne Rooney from the first choice squad but then anyone would pay good money to watch Rooney take on the five-times world champions on his own. Capello said he was confident JT would make the match.
There are also rumours, admittedly from News International sources, that Didier has a broken rib. The Sun are saying that Chelsea’s doctors misdiagnosed the extent of the injury and it was only spotted when he arrived in Ivory Coast by the Elephants medical team.
The FA youth cup draw brings an away tie at either Charlton or Woking depending on a replay.
Nana Ofori Twumasi the reserve right-back (it isn’t that hard, sound out your letters) has joined Dagenham and Redbridge for a month on loan.

Saturday 14 November
England 0:1 Brazil
Simply Clive Tyldesley’s scintillating best, the preening sycophant turned his gaze from Manchester United for an evening to eulogise Brazil. He used the term “greatest team in the world” every four to five seconds and at one point blurted out “that is perfect control from Fabiano”, as the ball spun off the striker’s ankle and rolled out for a goal kick.
In truth, if Brazil cannot beat the England B team they will not make the quarter-finals. John Terry missed the game with an ankle knock but expects to be fit for Wolves nest Saturday. Those hoping for a successful summer will have noted that Fabio Capello thinks James Milner is a better option than Ashley Young.
France beat the Republic of Ireland by Anelka’s deflected shot. It was a hard result for Ireland given the way they played and the chances created. Portugal hung on to beat Bosnia Herzegovina narrowly at home. Deco limped off with a groin problem near the end.
Yuri Zhirkov played the entire 90 for Russia as they stumbled to a 2-1 win over Slovenia.
Michael Mancienne, Ryan Bertrand, and Jack Cork played for England U21 at Wembley as they overcame Portugal 1-0.
Finally there will be a big party going on in Nigeria as John Obi Mikel’s team achieved the improbable string of results that takes them to the finals: winning 2-3 in Kenya while Tunisia lost in Mozambique. They left it late as well, Obafemi Martins scoring after the death after Kenya clawed them back to 2-2.

England U21 1:0 Portugal U21
Ryan Bertrand played left-back, a role usually reserved for Kieran Gibbs the Arsenal regular, who was moved to midfield. Ryan has had a good start to the season with Reading and it is promising to note that Psyc… Stuart Pearce has so much faith in him. Michael Mancienne played and had a hand in the build up to the goal. Jack Cork came on toward the end.

West Ham United youth 3:1 Chelsea youth
A poor display that cannot entirely be attributed to the appalling weather or international calls. We did create a few chances and work their goalkeeper but we can’t pretend this was unlucky. Billy Knott was sent off for dissent minutes before they added their third. Marko Mitrovic scored our only goal.

Sunday 15 November
Southampton 1:3 Brighton & Hove Albion
Gus Poyet gets his managerial career off to a flier as previously woeful Brighton ended Southampton’s nine-match unbeaten run.
So, the future is starting to look like Gus and Gianfranco but who would be the assistant and who the boss?
Better news from Carlo Cudicini’s bedside is that the former Chelsea custodian will play again but will need 12 weeks on crutches (forearm crutches, since you ask). He has, alas, insured that every Premiership boy racer will have their bike keys taken away in future.