Thank you for a gorgeous time

If you watch Sin City with the Commentary on, Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller bring up how Marlon-Brando-y they feel Marv and Mickey Rourke are a number of times, so I figure it would be only natural for pretty Marv to look like young Brando.

While most of these guy’s whole identities revolve around being a gruff hunks of swaggering machismo and would probably be horrified, the guy whose biggest hangup is his crippling self-esteem issues would probably be having a great time.

On that note, almost every character in this is based on real fanart I saw floating around DA and Fanart Central. Oh hey! And the artist behind the original Sailor Pyramid Head is fine with us droppin’ links here!

Oh! And if I may plug a couple of my bros, pop over to The Cherry Spitz site to enjoy their 100th podcast extravaganza! They recorded live so you can hear me cheering in the audience :P They’re a funny group of folks, if you’re in the SoCal area I recommend hitting up one of their shows! And speaking of funny people, fabulous WaiCon headliner John Robertson set up a Youtube game based on his infamous Dark Room bit that I recommend anyone who wasn’t fortunate to see him live in Perth check out. Even if you did see him live, it’s probably still worth playing. It’s like your own little private heckling party!

In a world where manly men do manly things.
He was there only hope.
“I am just a Nerd” Jared
“It’s cause ye’r a Nerd” Captain
When madness takes hold.
“You locked down the whole building?!” Kratos
“It’s the only way to stop it spreading!” Canada
The only answer is to…
(Into music from AC/DC starts)
Get mad.
(Back in black lyics kick in)
“I am here to kick ass and chew gum” Jared
(Lyric about nine lives kicks in to show Jared floating nine hearts)
“And I am all out of gum” Jared
“Heyyyyyy” Duke
Jared lowers Glasses.

So any one hoping P.Head wasn’t infected and just in his laundry day outfit/came back from a con/Crossdressing Wednesday? Not to say P.Head bish would be impossible, just I can’t see how one could make a monster rapist who already wears a dress/butcher apron.

Sadly, the immune response manifests as sparkles, primarily around the eyes and face, and requires motor oil, cigars, or an SUV to cure. They would have to be exceptionally big, obnoxious cigars, too, as evidenced by Roman Torchwick.

Naw, Raiden is a different character. Who, upon being subjected to fan backlash, turns himself into a cyborg ninja. Although it might indeed be funny to have Snake use that as a temporary cure and then end up ancient and ridiculously grizzled when it reverts.

The guy bending down in the middle panel reminds me oddly of Bro from Homestuck… who is not a bishie, and possibly qualifies for this job agency himself. At least, if they aren’t the sort of folks who mind puppet erotica.

Ha he kinda does look like bro! Also yeah i think your right between the things bro did before being killed by a space warping demon dog. Would qualifie for the agency. As long as the commander didnt find him passed out in a pile of plush puppet ass in his office.

Your call. Then again, my main experience with this comes from a good friend of mine who wrote a Miracle Train parody fanfic about French Resistance rail saboteurs sabotaging the rail line, so I’m probably not a good barometer. Commander Bishass looks more like David Bowie to me, but that’s just me.

I’m trying to figure that out too, if you mean the guy on the far left. Now, the one who really looks like Zuko is poor Kratos, the poor, bald, blood crazed God of War and Destroyer of Olympus has been brought down to the level of Zuko-look-alike, topknot included.

Honestly though, had he not been putting his hair back up in dreadlocks, would never have known it was him. I mean, looking closer at him now and seeing his face, I feel kind of silly for not realizing it sooner, but… it’s BISHI STEN. It’s like something right out of Nightmare Island.

Maybe this has been said before (441 comments at this time…) but it kind of makes me want to see the virus(?) mutate and do the reverse to some bishies (for example those in the comic where Sten complains about sword balance).

I know what the Heavy was based on… Those damn BASE’s on deviant art where people can think they have artistic talent or original characters.
Here’s a link: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=base
Nothing’s more original than adding some hair and clothing on someone else drawing. :)
(Please note that while using Bases is not really a crime, I just think they should be used for practice instead as a medium for art)

I’m almost certain that’s Zuko from AtLA. Don’t know Ice and Fire, though, so it could just be my ignorance speaking. But the hairstyle and pout are too similar to Ember Island Players Zuko for me to think otherwise.

The problem with that guy being Zuko is that he was never all that hyper-buff in the first place. In fact, Zuko can be considered a pretty boy, and there’s no need to actually bishify an already bishy character.

Say what you will he looked hotter before hand. I have no trouble dealing with scars, my ex girlfriend had scars over like 70 % of her beautiful body and I had no trouble with that. His scars mean nothing

Strangely enough, Mickey Rourke used to be pretty good looking before a rather unfortunate choice to go into boxing. That was before Sin City and whatnot, of course, but before the boxing debacle, add some facial hair and this is pretty close to what he looked like.

I remember his Rumble fish days. I always thought he looked more Bruce-Willis-y that Marlon-Brando-y, though. Fun fact, actually, Brando used to be an amateur Boxer too, his nose was straight before it got busted up in a fight and the surgeon mangled it in the process of putting it back together. Tennessee Williams was heartbroken at first, then decided he looked better that way because he was “too perfect” before.

-Sissel from Ghost Trick got a haricut and he looks nice, haha!
-I see a popular way of turning a character bishie is to make ’em kids (shota, is it?).
-Who is the guy with the scar? I feel I should know this.
-I lost control of myself with Marv’s reaction and lastly…
-I don’t believe Coelasquid’s last statement. I just don’t. I need to.

Actually, they did some tests and found out that neutrinos DO NOT in fact travel faster than the speed of light. Merely that there were errors in the calculation in measuring how fast the neutrinos travel. Neutrinos either travel just as fast as light or maybe a little slower, but not faster.

you need to get with the times. ftl already exists. proved in quantum physics.
einstein was not the end all be all, and he disliked even the idea of quantum physics and particles, which he termed “spooky”. sadly, it’s real.

Has not been proven. Particles that travel faster than light are still hypothetical and don’t seem likely to ever enter in the theoretical phase of science.

However, I would like to add: No, only this Universe will not allow it. Other universes where the speed of light is slower than the fastest velocity in that universe, or where faster than light velocity is possible it is possible there. Furthermore it is possible to warp space to simulate faster than light speed or find short cuts and other such nifty tricks.

I could have sworn an experiment in particle physics was showing their test particles showing up before they even began the test, indicating that a.) particles can travel faster than light, or b.) are capable of travelling backwards in time. However, without linkage or proof i will acquiesce. for now.
Thanks. Now i have to go hunting. Of course, even if i’m right, the only feasible useful application would be communication to the past, and one-way at that.

They did, and it seemed like that nutrinos travel faster, but scientists who support relativity questioned the accuracy of those tests, as they should. And what do you know? They find errors in the calculation.

more a case of, as someone said, his original look is just so goddamn gnarly, beaten, and broken, rearranged wrong, set, and broken again, that the bishification could only do so much….Me thinks that Marv might also just have a natural immunity from, again, his overall gnarlyness. I mean, face it, he’s from a world where bullets and knifes and everything else behaves to human flesh like it should, but HE took a hundred+ bullets, a massive beating from a super evil and sociopathic cannibal spiderman on crack, AND THEN finally taken out not with one dose of human barbequeing electricity, but TWO…Thats gnarly even by game standards, without any kind of health potion or super human healing factor.

I’ve looked in a mirror, dude. My female cousin is more manly. Her younger sister is more manly than me. HER younger sister is also more manly than me. And HER younger brother, who comes up to my knee, can beat me in an arm wrestle.

:p Yeah………….. I think the bishie virus would do the same to me as it did to Jared – maybe it would even GIVE me muscles (turning me into Lieutenant Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist, ‘xept with black hair).

Canadian Guy being bishified might tear a hole in time and space. I mean the guy’s entire reason for existence is his outdoorsy manliness, he more or less was birthed from the mountain by the universe’s need for a perfect deranged and inscrutable northwoodsman. Take that away and there wouldn’t be enough of him left to thread through a needle.

Duke looks like he’s got a crazy bad hangover going on. Captain Falcon looks a bit nerdier than Bishonen I think, what with the oversized helmet and all, but otherwise I think these are pretty good interpretations.

Clearly this just a case of Jared rubbing off on the whole agency than Nier going around sissy slashing folks. you think one of the guys would have kill him on provoking.
Wait what would logan look like? Would he look like his official anime or be a more hairy X-23?

Daken is already “Wolverine as reinterpreted by 15-year-old-anime-fangirls”. Pretty young rebellious bisexual half-Japanese Wolverine with sleeve tattoos and a mohawk and an extra claw made of a magical broken samurai sword that comes out of his wrists like a big suicide scar and pheromone control powers that let him make anyone he wants fall in love with him.

Seriously though, as horrifying as these interpretations are, I enjoy any dig at the bizarre trend of “bishie-fying”. Honestly, if people love these characters so much, shouldn’t they at least try to draw them accurately?

Then again, if you told any of those artists that, they’d be all “FUK U, it’s mah STYYYYLE!!!1!” Ugh…

Is it wrong that I find your artistry of deviant-Ganondorf frikkin hot? As a man, that rendering has me questioning my straight-ness. -.- Well, that is until i see that sailor pyramid head girl! =D ~Thank you so much for all your premium quality work, there isn’t a better comic on the web, and i just wanted to express my gratitude towards your hard work. You keep me laughing every week!

You know, the more I look at him, Bishi!Commander looks a bit like a Suda51 character, actually reminding me a bit of Travis Touchdown.
Sadly, this is not an improvement since Travis is prone to being a raging asshole and honestly isn’t very manly. (though at least there’s a good reason why he can swing around his giant swords given they’re mostly made of energy)

*rubbing headachey brow* Why do people keep thinking that’s Sissel? Why would Sissel even BE at the agency, much less show up randomly in a comic where the whole point is all the big guys being turned bishy? WHY?

Well this was moderately horrifying. Sailor Pyramid Head is going to haunt me for days. But, you know after years of everyone being bishified, I’m kind of over it. At least most of these guys still look like you know, men.

So everything looks brilliant and I really like this storyline, but it scares me a bit that almost every character in this is based on real fanart I saw floating around DA and Fanart Central.
Also, I feel sorry for Marv, because when everything gets back to normal (and I know it is going to, sooner or later) he’ll be mad and sad.
YES I feel sorry for a character from a funny webcomic (because it’s a parody so he’s detached from Sin City for me), THAT’S why this is my favourite webcomic in the Citadel!

Just to get off my soapbox of correcting the less enlightened, i will put this out there: sten now looks like tifa from FF. AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
And i think ganondorf sure got the worst of this one. Looks like karmic payback for mentally boning link so much. ♥ it. ♥ it.

PH seems to give exactly zero fucks. Duke looks like one of those characters from Xenon’s generic Final Fantasy RPG comic (the one who will not be in the sequel), Heavy looks like a baby (ironic), Ganondorf looks like a beautiful woman, and Kratos needs to pull his pants up.

Duke came out of this pretty well, from what I can tell. He’s still got a masculine face and shoulders, he just needs to bulk up again and he’ll be manly in no time, as opposed to other people who’s features became too bishi.

And now that I’m done saying that I’m going back to giggling at every single thing on this page.

Wow, I can see how Ganondorf’s transition was almost entirely facial and follical, there. I think the only change to the OoT outfit was dropping the gauntlets and shoulderpads/collar things, am I right?

Poor DBZ hair Snake! Though I am a bit ashamed to say that I did not recognize Ganondorf at first, and, indeed, my eyebrow went up. (so pretty) Then I realised who it was and felt such great shame. I must go commit sudoku.

Well it’s how you act not how you look, the agency was made for reeducation so if horribly turning them into jareds help them adapt then, maybe commander should call this an exercise.
also Game of thrones guy must be REALLY manly to get have enough muscles to pull that face.

The Best part about the whole Marv/rourke Brando thing, is if you look at mickey rourke from the 1980s he basically was a pretty boy, then he decided he hated that image and became a Terrible prize fighter for a couple years, got his face rearranged and now he looks the way he does. Check out Angelheart, or Harley davidson and the marlboro man. He’s the guy who you’d think was kevin costner.

Marv now looks like Brando.
In the bizarre-and-vaguely-defined timeline the Commander is from, Brando is worshipped as unto a god.

I predict a religious conflict is incoming. Getting rid of the bishie infection would mean no more face-of-Brando. To the Commander it’d probably be the equivalent to finding the cure for AIDS meant having to kill the Pope or something.

This is how awesome Coela is–despite the horror of the bish virus, I am agog at how good they all look. XD This is partly schadenfreude from the looks on their faces, but still. As the original characters, they’re horribly twisted as per the entire point of this, but the revamps in Coela style have their own certain… something.

Except that tuft on Kratos’ head. Dear god what.

Way to rock the sailor fuku, Pyramid Head. XD You just went to a whole new level of creepy.

My word….SWEET MARLIN BRANDO! THEY ALL LOOK LIKE THEYERE 13! Everyone has been infected with Kawaii Rabies so it seems! I’m really impressed you could figure out how they’d look bishie, then again you did say these characters have a bishified selection on DA….and knowing DA it went for a few 100 pages worth…

I don’t think they’re supposed to be “anime-fied” necessarily, just “bishie-fied”. I mean, while rarer, even anime has some manly men sometimes. I’m pretty sure she’s just going for the general “pretty-boy” aspect without drastically changing the art style, considering that would sort of affect the feel of continuity. Also, if anyone’s not infected, having a manly and bishie character appear next to each other would look strange if there wasn’t still some resemblance to the previous style.

Well, and because I’m sure I’d get a handful of people saying I was anti-anime or racist or some garbage like that (I’ve heard it before regarding this sort of thing) when I’m really just making fun of people who take big gruff dudes and make them unnecessarily pretty, or put immaculately groomed, delicate people in rough-and-tumble roles. I’m not even anti pretty-dudes, it’s just, you know, time and a place.

If you’re only a fan of a character like Ganondorf if you’ve turned back the clock 20 years, surgeried some chunks of flesh out of their face, and put the brain from the star of a trashy token exploitative yaoi book in their head, you’re not really a fan of that character.

THANK YOU for this, Coela. Ten years ago when I was down south I did this thing called an “oxygen bar”–it was weird and trendy; you sit on a leather barstool and they hook a cannula into your nose and you breathe in flavored oxygen for however long you paid to have it. When I slid off the stool, my brain was so not-used to “good air” that I felt dizzy for a second, then amazingly clearheaded.

Which is what plain old good sense feels like when I hear it, I’ve decided.

wonder if Steven Heck could resist the bishie infection ….anyway the need someone with medical knowledge, like Medic (TF2), Fabius Bile (wh40k) or perhaps Dr. Big McLarge Huge (Emp) one of them must be able to cure this horrible disease

I was trying to figure out if I was reading Pyramid Head’s posture right. To me it either looks like it’s expressing an impatient/frustrated/annoyed/disgusted pout (similar to what Ganondorf is doing), OR a posture that says, “Damn I look good, and you KNOW it!” I like to think the latter. Yeah Pyramid Head, you work that sailor outfit, work it!

And what is Solid Snake up to? Is he planting claymore mines? (perhapse with the shape charge pointed at his face to try to blow the stubble back onto it)

Also, is it just me or does the Commander look like he needs a keytar?

I dig Snake’s Super Saiyan ‘do! Kratos looks weirdly “The Last Airbender”-ish. Ganondorf is actually pretty sexy, what with that hair, I must say, though now he looks like a sexy Gerudo chick rather than a sexy Gerudo prettyboy XD. Duke looks like a rock star kid and I love his chin touch like “where did my manly jaw go?”

I like how Jared keeps rubbing at his face as if his beard might come back.

Wow, the pelvis and leg positions for PyrHead and Ganon are awesome. PyrHead really does look like he’s just chillin’, rockin’ that skirt, and I swear that I’ve never in my life seen a male hold his hips like Ganon is!

I love the look of annoyance Sten has as he immediately goes to rerow his hair. And five rows done in the time it takes for Commander to grab a cottonball and growl at his desk, with hair that thick? O.O

Are the Commander’s glasses… glued to his forehead? Can he even wear those?

I can’t decide whether Jared is rubbing his chin hoping the ‘beard’ will come back, or is admiring the texture of porcelain made from fine kitten pelts. XD

Why must Ganon be so hot… This has to be an anime bishie disease as the Commander has Kamina’s glasses and PH is wearing a sailor mars outfit. Heavy looks like Aang (yes I know, not anime but close enough) and then Snake looks like he has super saiyan hair, only brown.

Hahaha, this pleases me. I was 17 years old when I made the original Sailor Pyramid Head back in 2004. I was drunk off my ass and forcing my wuss friend to play through Silent Hill 2 while I was doodling in my sketchbook drawing random monsters and Pyramid Head. My inability to draw male bodies (be it drunk or sober) prompted me to go “ARRRRG! Fuck it! Sailor uniform… NAO!” …then I had the brilliant idea to scan and colour it. An hour and a half, and four shots of Jameson later… IT WAS BORN.

Ahahahah wonderful! I’m glad you got a kick out of it, I didn’t link to any of the pieces of fanart that inspired me for this because I was worried people would go pick on them (I’ve seen it happen when I’ve name-dropped things before). To be honest I went with Sailor PH because it’s hard to animuu~ up a character with no facial features, so that seemed like the easiest out :P

question, now i know that anime characters are generally girly, and the commander is wearing what appers to be kamina style glasses. Can kamina be an exeption, because he is pretty manly and awsome(imo)

Wait. Waaaaaiiiit wait wait wait WAIT A FUCKING SECOND. Pyramid head is now PRACTICALLY female…and he’s in a sailor fuku…When the eldritch abominations come to rape him…will he accept it with glee? Will they fight to see who’s top and who’s bottom? Will they just fight? I don’t even…ow. My brain. OW.

Now that I think of it, Marv becoming a Marlon Brando replica doesn’t make much sense… because Brando is manly as hell. Also, Commander B should kinda feel like meeting Jesus or something right now o:
But since this is too awesome, I’ll just keep on reading and enjoy your bishies, since they’re still much more interesting-looking than any japanese one.
…I’m particularly digging Sten there >_>
And Commander, how can you still look manly even in this Kamina-like attire? *mind is blown*

I’ve literally never laughed that much or so loud in my life! I swear, I cracked up so bad, this page is HILARIOUS, especially since I do have that tendency to like the bishie characters, but I’ll admit, your comic is actually making me warm up to these burly guys. Say, ever considered adding character cameos from “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure” or other Japanese “bara” shows?