I’m I guess a master, and I have a friend of mine (male) that wants me to dominate him. It’s non-sexual (I am straight, never had sex, but have gotten oral once) and the turn on for me is the “power”, He is a sub, fun person that want’s me to humiliate him, and dominate him. I just would like some advice on easing him into it. I have picked out panties for him to buy and wear, and I know he likes nipple clamps. But he is a wild “buck” and wants me to force the domination on him, so I need a cheap chastity belt, and I need to humiliate him in front of women to break down his ego.(he’s big burly, 6’3 275pds) and advice on how to break him down, and get him to do things…

I like being a master and have done it before, but this is a different type of relationship as I’m straight, and he’s (straight/bi) but he wants me to dominate, and control him, but he doesn’t want to relent his “orgasm” to me. so I’m trying to find ways to demean him to get him down to an obedience level. I already gave him a nick name(girls) and playing with his nipples is his man arousal point. I feel i need to find a woman to “cuckold” him with me, but it’s a different dynamic as it isn’t “his GF” but someone I will find. I guess this is kind of a different situation, but I loved you’re site and blog, and I’m thinking of making him keep a journal as well. Any advice would be appreciated, I think it’s weird for me to be doing this with him, as I only get gratification from the “power” and “control” of him, and he likes that I am Alpha male enough to put him in his place, and likes to please me and like’s that I control… but he isn’t a submissive guy for the most part, very masculine, but will submit to me… so I have to break him down it seems… but thanks again for the site, just reading your blog gave me many idea’s and thinking. I want him feminized for me.. or “girl” for me… but it’s going to more of a “bro, with bro” relationship as we go out to find girls, and I like take his girl, belittle him in front of them, have him watch (he likes that) and make him use a doll for satisfaction, etc.. any advice would be awesome though.

@James: Wow. Since I am, at best, a switch, I’m not sure I’m best qualified to advise you on your new sub. I’m confused by a few things in your comment. You say he won’t “relent his orgasm to [you]”, but that you want to put him in a chastity belt. To me, those are opposites. I like the idea of you two guys cruising for gals, and then later you turning on him with humiliation, likely having both women to yourself while you control him for the amusement of you three. Bondage is another thought, but that requires substantial trust on his part, so that may be a later phase. However, a scene where he’s helpless to watch your threesome, or you teach the ladies about edging or ruined orgasms while he writhes in bonds. Hooking up with women who are into degradation and humiliation would be good too, since then she and you would be on the same wavelength while you both play with him. Back to chastity, unfortunately there really is no good “cheap chastity”. A low-end start would be to have him get a PA-piercing, let that heal, then install one of the CB-X000 line (appropriate for his size) with a padlock in the PA. That would be about $200 total. If you want things to get more serious, upgrading to a serious PA-lock and metal cage (like I have) could be a later upgrade for about $500 (?) total. I hope that helps, best of luck!

Thank you for asking! Our relationship is the best it has ever been! But I will also say that most relationships really struggle, and many do not survive it when one partner changes their gender. It’s a huge transition for the partner too! My wife did struggle (and still does on occasion), but our love and commitment is deep. We recently started a support group for couples with the focus on the relationship and the non-transitioning partner. Most gender counseling organizations (even my world-class care facility) doesn’t offer ANYTHING for spouses/partners, or couples. That’s a travesty, since with some support, many relationships can survive this. A generic marriage counsellor tends to be clueless; there are some GLBT-aware therapists out there. Our group has 7 couples so far, and we’ve only met once and haven’t done any outreach. It’s a real unmet need.