BREAKING NEWS: Wikileaks Stole My –

The complete title of this is “BREAKING NEWS: My Life In Bad Food: Wikileaks Stole My Risotto Recipe!”

In the midst of one of the dirtiest elections in our nation’s history, Wikileaks released emails from John Podesta that show he was sharing one of our nation’s greatest secrets: his mama’s famous risotto recipe!

The horror!

You never know what those terrorists will do if their risotto is runny.

Dear Mr. Connard (not his real name but look it up in a French dictionary):

Recently, it has come to my attention that you have copied one of my stories and have republished it with minor changes as your own.

While I am certain that this is a mistake, I am asking that this error be corrected and your posting be removed. Alternately, you can republish my story with the proper links and attributions.

I am entitled to this request for the following reasons:

I have been publishing various copywritten versions of this tale for several years and you have not asked for the right to republish my tale or offered to pay the necessary licensing fee to do so.

While some may contend that I have been mentally dead for years, I am still very much alive and the copyright would extend for half a century after my death even if I were.

While researching your own blog, I noticed numerous glaring examples of plagiarism from other writers as well. It might do you good to Google some of the paragraphs you have claimed as your own. While Mark Twain is dead, I still believe that lifting whole descriptive paragraphs from “Huckleberry Finn” to be not only lazy but somewhat slimy. Who do you think you are – Melania Trump?

I am certain that the estates of L. Frank Baum, Roald Dahl and John Cheever would be thrilled to know you are such a huge fan that you have copied sections of their work to your own blog and have claim it as your work.

I have contacted your ISP provider and demanded that my work be taken down immediately. I am giving you advance warning so that you can voluntarily do so.

You really need to be more careful about listing where you work and your address on your blog postings.

Good Day, SIR!

Sincerely,

Micheal J. Hobbs

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!!!

Mushroom Risotto Recipe

2 cups rice – make sure to use a type appropriate for risotto such as an arborial rice

1 cup white wine

1 1/2 quart chicken stock, preprepared

1 onion

Parmesan cheese

Kosher flake salt

Black pepper, freshly ground

Parsley

2 tbsps. Butter

1 lb. shitaake mushroom

1. Pour 1/2 of the chicken stock in the pan and place on a low heat.

2. Chop the mushrooms finely and add to the pot along with the wine.

3. Chop the onion finely and add along with the butter.

4. Now add the rice. It is VERY important to slowly add the rest of the stock over time to prevent it from being too runny.

5. Add spices to taste.

6. The secret is to add grated Parmesan cheese when almost done. This prevents the risotto from turning out too runny.