Thursday, December 5, 2013

Steve and I were sealed to Sawyer for all eternity in the Manti LDS temple. That morning as we were getting ready for one of the biggest days of our lives, I could feel tensions growing between Steve and me, just as they do every other time we plan to go to the temple. I really felt the adversary working on us. I think we both realized what was happening and quickly changed our moods. We hurried out the door with our temple bags & Sawyer in hand and started on the drive down to Manti with my parents and brother in tow. As we pulled up I started feeling anxious, I felt similar butterflies on our wedding day. We greeted a few family members and friends before the three of us were taken to our dressing rooms.

Before entering the sealing room, Steve and I were dressed in white, hand in hand, sitting on a little bench in the hall waiting for certificates to be signed and such. The feeling came, almost as if it were spoken to me "If you had children the way that you wanted, you would have missed this." It was at that moment that I felt an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for this heavy trial that we've endured all these years. I had no idea what the Lord had in store for me, it is so much better than what I had planned for myself.

It was now time for us to move into the sealing room. This was the exact room that Steve and I were married in almost 8 years earlier. I felt so much warmth as our closest friends and family members trickled into the room with us. The Sealer had such an understanding of the trial that we've bared and spoke sweet words of council as we embark on this journey of parenthood. As Sawyer was brought in dressed all in white, the mood of the room shifted suddenly and I felt like I was home. I've never been moved to tears as I was in that moment. During the ceremony, it was as if Sawyer knew more of what was happening than we did. Sawyer was alert and had locked eyes with the Sealer, and when the words were spoken "I seal you to your father", Sawyer immediately placed his hand on Steve's arm, like he fully understood the words that were being spoken.

After the sealing ceremony, my dad held me close and whispered "The Lord kept His promise, didn't He." The feelings that I had felt for so many years of being forgotten, deserted and ignored have been gone for some time, but as I heard the words of my Dad, I really felt reclaimed by my Savior. When I got to embrace my best friend, who is in the middle of her own infertility storm, I felt our souls touch. I felt the pain of her burden that is kindred to mine. I wanted to tell her to just keep moving forward, do all that you can do, go until you cant go anymore, and there will be a sweet reward at the end. But I didn't need to speak at all, I know she felt everything I felt.

The day was absolutely perfect. I have been blessed far greater than I deserve and I will never forget my feelings of completeness.

For anyone that wants to know more about our church's temples and how you can become a forever family, please visit:
http://mormon.org/what-do-mormons-believe