So I was solo, no Sol or Daniel, and attending some college. I had this boyfriend who was a straight NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!! Who was not nearly as famous as he actually is. He was pretty cool, acted a lot like Barney from how I met your monther, and Dr. Horrible combined. We'd been dating awhile and we were having so much fun! He had introduced me to his mother, and asked me to move in with him. Everything was all good and we were happy. I went shopping with (I haven't seen these two in forever, so very random) Megan and Ashley, and got the cutest white sundress and these bad ass red and gold cowboy boots. We chilled in Megan's room which looked like a clothing boutique with a bed, and talked about girl stuff and then I went home. Went to school the next day, excited to see my straight NPH.

When I met up with him and some people at our usual spot in a nicely wooded patch of the school devoted to mountain foliage and rocks and such, he went complete dickhead on me. I remember him being an asshole, and saying all kinds of unforgivable shit, and me walking away defeated. He dumped me for no reason and so cruelly! I got a coffee at the student store, and thought, you know what, FUCK THIS SHIT! I walked back to where we met, but something had happened by the time I got there. In that secluded little copse, I found a group of my friends, plus a police officer!

My friends had him pinned to the ground and the cop was making sure nobody walked up! Apparently, word had got around quickly in the ten minutes that had gone by! 2 of my awesome highschool guy friends had his arms pinned down, and my gigantic best guy friend was punching the shit out of him, and yelling obscenities. When I walked up, the dude stopped punching, and everyone smiled. I walked up, stood over him, handed my coffee to the cop. He started squirming and trying to look away so somebody ran up and held his head still, forcing him to look at me. I smiled, and said:

"Do you see this boot?" and held up my foot to show him my fucking awesome boot. I paused for a minute and put my foot down.

"Well, you decided to fuck with me, so this boot is going to be planted straight into your face in a moment. But first, let me just say, if you fuck with anyone else, if you ever do this shit again...I'LL KILL YOU. "

And I brought that seriously fantastic looking boot straight down on his face and knocked him out cold.

The cop gave me my coffee back, and I stepped out of the way as she cuffed him, and threw him into the back of her car. She said she'd take care of it. I hugged the crap out of my awesome friends, and woke up with a new respect for cowboy boots!

I do feel bad that I kicked NPH in the face, but it wasn't really him, not even in dreamland, but this asshole deserved it!