The government has recently laid out plans to pour taxpayers’ money into “green investments”, claiming that the high costs will be offset by long-term benefits to the economy and the environment. The new study finds that this “win-win” attitude is a delusion. Hidden costs include:

Bureaucracy: In practice, “green investments” get spent on red tape. “Green jobs” are taken by bureaucrats, siphoning resources away from the productive sectors of the economy.

Waste: For those advocating “green jobs”, inefficiency is a virtue. A United Nations study on green jobs actually calls for fruit to be picked by hand rather than machine. “Green” subsidies effectively pay companies to make everyday items more expensive and scarce, taxing the public twice over.

Debt: Today’s “green investments” are made by increasing Britain’s colossal national debt, borrowing heavily in the hope of making future generations richer. If the green gamble fails, our children and grandchildren will be left with the bill.

“Green investment” isn’t even a reliable way to improve the environment, the study finds. Steel is one of the world’s most carbon-intensive industries, yet the United Nations Environment Programme counts steelworkers as having “green jobs”, because steel is needed to make wind turbines.

I've joked before about the Government's plans for growth through green jobs being about as futile and economically illiterate as The Daily Mash's spoof scheme to raise money by farming unicorns and exporting them to the Chinese. But when I last did it, New Labour were in charge. Now it's this thing they call the Coalition. I know some of you claim to be able to discern a huge difference. I can't.