At last! Harriet Harman's public school student gulags are to be shut down by valiant defenders of fee-paying freedom! And much, much more! Or, to put it another way, Theresa May, the home secretary, has announced that she is to scrap the socioeconomic clause that was due to come into effect next year under Labour's equality law. It was designed to force town halls to take into account and try and counteract the effects of class differences when making policy decisions, but May has ditched it on the grounds that it is "ridiculous".

"Equality", you see, is a weaselly, politically correct word that means either nothing or, worse, "equality of outcome". Imagine. From now on, we are going to have "fairness" and equality of opportunity. Trust her. It's the best of all possible worlds.

Royal-ity check

Wills & Kate

Break out the bunting and the Union bowler hats! Or the passports and one-way tickets to Cuba, according to the degree to which you wish to be subsumed for the next eight months by increasingly fervid commentary on the forthcoming royal wedding. For yes, the second in line to the throne has finally decided to make an honest woman of the girl they are already calling the People's Bourgeoise.

Thank God they announced it on a slow news day. The discovery that Britain had been complicit in a worldwide campaign of torture, leading to intercontinental warfare; a Cameron U-turn on his vanity snapper and in-house Twitter minister with multi-platform social networking portfolio off the public payroll; the axing of the Aimhigher programme (dedicated to getting working-class students into university); 3,000 jobs being cut from the Greater Manchester police ... the list in fact continues. Hmm.

Still – didn't she look beeyooootiful!

Birthrights and wrongs

Pete and Alisha Arnold

This Minneapolis couple work in the IT industry and are keen bloggers. So when she became pregnant and they found themselves unsure what to do next, they did the only sensible thing. They set up a website inviting the public to vote ("such an integral part of the American identity") on whether to terminate or not. Because there are some decisions only a group of anonymous, foam-flecked strangers should make.

Some claim the site – with its pictures of Alisha's various scans – is a pro-life publicity stunt but the Arnolds are adamant that they are pro-choice and that they will make the final decision for themselves but "if [the voting] is overwhelming one way or the other, that will carry a lot more weight".

So. 20 November 2010: the world went to hell in a handcart or democracy finally spread its wings and soared? Vote now.

What they said

"I've hit the point in my life where I understand that being skinny is not sustainable, and nor is it advisable, and nor is it enjoyable."