1. It is a scientifc fact that Doom will look like Citzen Kane if it's viewed directly after Resident Evil Apocalypse.

2. Tom Cruise can NEVER die in a film. If the character is meant to die, then he shall be filmed sitting uncomfortably on public transport in order to give the impression of death (but do we know for sure?).

3. Everybody is a fan Chuck Norris and/or David Hasselhoff. If you are not then you are simply lying to yourself...

2. Tom Cruise was the ONE man that Chuck Norris was in awe of. So the Chuckster cut off the Cruisers legs, thus renderng him short. He then proceeded to have sex with Tom, rendering him gay too. He still hasn't gotten over it.

3. When he thinks the audience isn't looking, Maximus Decimus gets up. Runs off with the chick, becomes a crazy mathmetician, then a sea captain. When he becomes bored he decides boxing is the life for him but unfortunately dies.

ORIGINAL: Hannahc75 3. When he thinks the audience isn't looking, Maximus Decimus gets up. Runs off with the chick, becomes a crazy mathmetician, then a sea captain. When he becomes bored he decides boxing is the life for him but unfortunately dies.

And then spends the rest of his life wondering where the hell the little statues of his wife and son went.

Jean Claude Van Damme is actually a 'cut-and-shut' actor. Jean and Van's relationship has been declining steadily since the actor's box office takings have dwindled. Both are currently involved in an ongoing legal wrangle over who operates the legs.

The Elephant Man decided to quit acting despite rave reviews for his outstanding debut feature. He now works in accountancy in Deptford.

The original title for 'The Passion of the Christ' was in fact 'The Passion of Jesus H Christ' (the 'H' standing for Hulk) but was changed to it's more neutral title as certain religious groups feared it could lead to today's youth referring to the Messiah as 'The Hulkster'.

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"They offered me a hundred grand. You wanna know something? When I found out I'd get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing."

Ron Perlman is actually the best looking guy in the world. He has cast a spell over every living person on the planet to think otherwise in order to not cause worldwide jealousy. Only ferrets can see the real him but they're telling no-one....

After researching and filming Braveheart in Scotland, Mel Gibson got addicted to Irn Bru. It got so bad that when back in the states he had to attend Sodaholics Anonymous. He has been clean now for 6 years.

Michael Biehn has so much of 'it' that all the directors he work for are jealous hence the reason he dies in every film he's in.

The movie Howard The Duck was actually the third in a trilogy but the first two were considered so awful they were never released.

I haven't got a clue what the hell I'm typing, a monkey has a gun to my back and I'm blindfolded. I don't speak monkey! (here's hoping that will stop me from getting sued )

Michael Biehn does have "it". In fact he has so much of "it" that fellow co-stars Arnold Schwarznegger and Bill Paxton stole his "it" with a crude device made from Lego and a funnel in order to boost their own talent, thus eclipsing Biehn's performances in Aliens and The Terminator. He also sold some of "it" to Tom Cruise for a pair of designer underpants and a duplex in Minsk.

Katie Holmes isn't actually pregnant - it's just gas!

Several fanboys did in fact hire an inexpensive hitman to kill Paul W.S Anderson after the release of Resident Evil Apocalypse but it proved ineffective as the llama couldn't tell the difference between a knife and a tambourine. The llama also couldn't keep his shades on.

< Message edited by Abe -- 27/2/2006 2:57:02 PM >

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"I am Government Man Goat from the Government! The Government has sent me!"

Martin Fucking Lawrence is actually the greatest acting and comedic talent in the entire Universe. He is so far ahead of his time, that only genetically enhanced super humans in the year 5037 will have the necessary intelligence to recognise his genius. Whereupon he will be declared the supreme being and the Bible will be edited to replace the name Jesus with Martin Fucking Lawrence.

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Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!

George Clooney's big break in acting came when he played an ER doctor in the TV show, ER. Ironic, considering his big break in life was his femur which resulted in a trip the ER to be treated by.... you guess it! a doctor!!!!

Matt Damon once auditioned for the part of Batman in a school play. Believing that his superhero-esque jaw would be enough to land the part, he got so drunk the night before that he couldn't recite a single line without vomiting chicken kebab over his fellow budding thesps. Damon was subsequently banned from all amateur productions in his home state of Massachusetts and spent the next 3 years attempting to prove his doubters wrong by becoming an actual superhero. During this period Vole Man foiled 3 armed robberies, prevented 5 homicides, averted 1 suicide attempt and talked an old lady out of jaywalking. The Batman role went to Jim Caviezel who, to my knowledge, has never taken to any practical methods of law enforcement since his turn as the Dark Knight.

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"They offered me a hundred grand. You wanna know something? When I found out I'd get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing."

Roger Moore was originally offered the role of Neo in the Matrix but turned it down on the grounds that a saviour of human existence was beneath him.

Jason Statham is actually American. He mastered the cockney accent so well for his films with Guy Richie, that now he has returned to making films in his native tongue, he has the least convincing American accent since Jack Nicholson (a Bulgarian) appeared in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Martin Lawrence is a direct descendant of Oscar Wilde.

Dustin Hoffman has been banned from sneezing in some European countries.

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"They offered me a hundred grand. You wanna know something? When I found out I'd get my hands on you, I said I'd do it for nothing."

George Clooney's actual first big break in acting was to play the role of the Churchill nodding-dog in the TV ads until he learned to stop his incessant head wobbling while delivering a line and they had to replace him.

Vin diesel is acually from the year 2051, he masterd time travel at the tender age of eleven, he spent his years travling through time learning all he could about the ancient civilizations of the past, to one day reach his dream of becoming the greatest actor of all time. He then traveled back to the year 1999, and the rest is history.

arnold blackndecker is soooo eco friendly he ride to work on a camel katleen turner used to be called bob no surname just bob mel gibson has gills steven speilberg cant swim but can walk on water ,hence the beard clint eastwood wants to invade france,again. judi dench was a cowboy in a previous life brandon routh is actually superman,no really hugh jackman likes goldfish buttys

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Come against me, if you dare! I am the storm! Come if you dare, Shai'tan! I am the Dragon Reborn!