- It is always
possible to park directly outside any building you
are visiting.

- A detective
can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.

- If you decide
to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump
into will know all the steps.

- Most laptop computers are powerful
enough to override the communication systems of any
invading alien civilization

- It does not matter if you are heavily
outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your
enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked
unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never
suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No one involved in a car
chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or
alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Police Departments give
their officers personality tests to make sure they
are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total
opposite.

- When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
If they're villains, they will probably speak with
an English accent.

- You can always find a chainsaw
when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by
a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's
the door to a burning building with a child trapped
inside.

- An electric fence, powerful
enough to kill a dinosaur willcause no lasting damage
to an eight-year-old child.

- Television news bulletins
usually contain a story that affects you personally
at that precise moment you turn the television on.