Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Lord Admiral has been promoted!

Good day to you all, gentlemen and lady readers of this fine interblog! I am happy to announce that, following a recent audience with Her Majesty, I have been promoted from the lowly position of Lord Admiral of Her Majesty's Airship Fleet to the much more dignified Lord Admiral of Her Majesty's Privies.

No longer do I have to spend endless hours inspecting the flying deathtraps of our empire. Not another moment must be wasted soaring over our fair nation in one of those windbags. Now, I can spend my time relaxing on the loo, knowing that I am doing my part to keep our great nation sanitary and comfortable. Truly, this is a momentous step ahead for your humble friend the Lord Admiral.

As astute readers have no doubt observed, I am extremely happy with Her Majesty's choice. Any rumors to the contrary are to be dismissed as hearsay. I know that I should not pay these rumors any mind, but I think I shall take a moment to squash one particularly hurtful story.

It is in no way true that Her Majesty saw fit to promote me after I answered her question of what sort of tea I would like with "Madam, I'll tell you what type of tea I would like. I would like the type where I make out with you for, like, half an hour."

I am sure that you will all wish to congratulate me on my new position, so feel free to write me a note and flush it down the nearest loo.