Ninety or so minutes of soccer ago, Mario Balotelli was playing like the best player on the best team in the world. Now he's going to be a father. That's some consolation, right?

Balotelli's ex-girlfriend, Raffaella Fico, announced she's pregnant with his child. Which is some interesting timing, considering the two broke up back in April after Balotelli couldn't stop seeing prostitutes. (Including Wayne Rooney's sometimes girl. Two days after their first hookup, Balotelli scored a goal for Man City and lifted his jersey to show an "I love you Raffaella" shirt underneath. This is love, Premier League style.)

It's been a banner week in Super Mario World. Saturday, Balotelli scored two goals, fought…
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Fico reportedly told Balotelli she was pregnant the day before Italy's semifinal against Germany, in which Mario scored a pair of goals. His reaction? "You have given me the best news in the world." Aww.