Evidently, I don’t get to both express myself freely and do so without risking some sort of “your self-deprecating jokes are hurtful to me” response, even though there’s no names and no point about anyone else. There’s gotta be a Costanza for this moment of Zen.

Star Trek Beyond was great, and I just loved Jaylah. It still labors under the burden of being part homage. Itstill follows the blockbuster formula of gratuitous, obscenely powerful yet surprisingly un-devastating urban destruction. And impossible physics. Despite that, it was great. No spoilers.

Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]

Mötley Crüe: The End was tonight. I love Nikki. Tommy is an atomic gerbil on meth. Mick Mars died 10 years ago but refuses to move to the next life. But God damn you, Vince Neil! Here is my 4-word review of Mötley Crüe: The End: VINCE NEIL[‘s] MONITOR TECH*. Vince has a goddam teleprompter. I […]

WHAT IF… the reason all these iconic artists that 2016 keeps taking away from us weren’t supposed to die. What if it is Motley Crue’s fault? Stay with me here. In January 2014, the Crue signed a cessation of touring agreement. No more performing as MC after 2015. MC is dead before it’s 2016. the […]

A word to the wise. It starts with Bud Light and too much sun. Before you know it, this ^^ seems like a good idea. It’s OK, because you’re a pro at this. And, you’ve got a tenant you want to bang. At least right now. Sober, you’re like this:

So it’s tax day. Take the day off from the job that has no work. Take the day off from the shitshow that keeps you alive. Do your fucking taxes. Before that, crash at 10 on the couch. Oh fuck, is it time to get up? Nah, it’s just midnight. Go to bed. Now it’s […]