stephen king

With talks of "Scream IV" and the release of the all new "Nightmare on Elm Street", Wes Craven is on a lot of people's minds. The latest rumors say that there is a remake in the works for Craven's "Deadly Friend". Though still in the preliminary stages, the word is that Warner Brothers will be shooting for 3D on the film as well.

Hollywood carries on the status quo as there is even more remake news about. The next horror oldie on deck? George Romero's semi-realistic vampire tale, "Martin". Lending a small bit of legitimacy to the rumor, the film is said to be produced by original Romero backer Richard P. Rubinstein.

Adam McKay spills the beans on an upcoming project titled "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", produced by McKay and directed by "Dead Snow" helmer Tommy Wirkola. Set 15 years after the pairs escape from the wicked witch, McKay promises that the movie will be a Sam Raimi style shocker with steam punk elements. Most frightening of all; they've already offered roles to many members of the "Twilight" cast.

We all know now that AMC is working on a "Walking Dead" pilot with director Frank Darabont. What we don't know is who is going to play the show's pivotal lead character Rick Grimes. There has been little speculation up until now, but sources reveal that Johny Lee Miller is currently a front runner for the role.

With MTV canceling the long running and factual portrayal "The Hills", Heidi Montag has set her sights on Hollywood to continue funding her plastic surgery addiction. Next on her slate of plans is writing the world's first 3D beach comedy about a killer shark that she fights off with her 3D DDD sized boobs. I'm not making this up.

The Syfy channel sets its sights high this summer as they plan the release of a new series, "Haven". Based on the Stephen King novella "The Colorado Kid", a tale of a FBI agent visiting Haven, Maine to discover that the entire town is an enclave that serves as refuge for people suffering from supernatural abilities. The show will star Emily Rose, Lucas Bryant and Eric Balfour.

Prepare yourself; Sigourney Weaver is going to bite you. The veteran actress has signed on to play a Queen Vampire in Amy Heckerling's horror comedy, "Vamps"! Weaver will be starring alongside Alicia Silverstone and Kristen Ritter.

Liv Ullman will be in "The Ghost Brothers of Darkland County", a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King. Read that again; 'a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King'!

Did you know they were remaking “Pet Sematary”? I didn't. I just learned that, like, two minutes ago. It's apparently going to be rewritten by Matthew Greenberg, writer of the failed King adaptation “1408” and the failed “Halloween” entry “H20”. Who do you think they'll get to “reimagine” the catchy theme song, originally performed by the Ramones? I'm, hoping it's Justin Bieber, so at least I'll have something new to masturbate to. That sexy twink is pure rape-bait!

According to MTV, Wesley Snipes would like to see a “Blade 4”. Sadly, no one else does. (OK, that was mean. The truth of the matter is that I love all three “Blade” flicks and would love to see a fourth. Sometimes the prerequisite cynicism of this gig eats away at me, forcing me to do or say things I don't mean to. Mr. Snipes, please, if the offer arises, make a new “Blade” and I will be first in line, no questions asked. (This promise also applies if you make “Passenger 58” or “Jungle Fever 2: Still Cravin' That White Meat”.))

I know that, because you're an imbecilic horror fan, you probably only listen to bands like Magick Karkass and Devilwhipper, but, if you can expand your musical horizons for two Goddamned minutes, neo-outlaw country singer Shooter Jennings' latest album, “Black Ribbons” is out. Why should this appeal to the oh-so-picky likes of you? Because “Maximum Overdrive” director Stephen King narrates the anti-New World Order-themed album as radio DJ “Will O' the Wisp”, who is about to lose his job as the airwaves is overtaken by 'government-approved and regulated transmissions.' I'm taking a moment to be serious here: this is a damn good album and, quite honestly, better than anything you're listening to right now.