I … do not like stuff. I am sort of the opposite of a collector. If I end up with a few of something, my instinct is to purge it — if other people see that I have a few of something, they may be inclined to get me more of that something! Then there would be more of that something, and it would be my responsibility, and I sort of have Issues with Stuff.

That being said, I do have my things. My WEAKNESSES, you might say. (Or my normalities, as collecting things is pretty, well, normal.) I have nothing against people who collect things, I just don’t want to have to dust those things. Or any things.

I haven’t dusted properly in five years. Does that mean I collect dust?

My husband is allergic to dust.

Anyhoogles.

Jadite. Oh, glorious jadite. I can justify this one because it is dishes. And dishes are for eating! (Off of. Unless you are Cookie Monster. Or want to break my heart.) So you can’t really ever have too many dishes, because there will always be more people who want to eat. I inherited the jadite from Matt’s grandmother, and I treasure it like it is a PET. Or at least a plant that I actually remember to water. I keep an eye out on Etsy all the time for pieces to add to the collection. I have told my husband that all he ever has to get me from here until forever for gifts is a small piece of jadite here and there. IT IS JUST SO PRETTY.

Postcards. Postcards are the only souvenirs I ever buy on trips. They are flat! They remind me of where I went! If I ever wanted to, I could frame them or hang them up and use them as decoration! I love postcards. If someone I know ever goes on a trip and asks if I want them to bring me back something, POSTCARD is always the answer. Or chocolate. But it’s mostly my thighs that collect the chocolate, and now this is just getting awkward.

Books. Duh. Am librarian. (Though, because of that, I take most of my books out of the library. The only books I buy are the ones I really love and want to reread. I’m a filthy Communist that way.)

Now I sort of want to go to the nearest closet and start throwing things in a donation pile. Which would be why I hoard Cardboard boxes. They make getting rid of things so, so enjoyable. Putting it in trash bags just feels wrong. And disorganized. Just because I want it out of my house doesn’t mean I want it done in a disorderly fashion.

The Blathering was super fun and a half. I have been wanting to write a little recap post since I got back, but I don’t think my words can do it justice. Which isn’t to say it was some spiritual amazing life-changing summitous experience — it was just that regular sort of awesome I don’t allow myself enough of in life. I was afraid I would be the one lamer who didn’t want to go out and have fun late at night, but there were plenty of people who just wanted to chill in the condo and talk about girl-type things. THESE ARE MY PEOPLE, YO.

My biggest fear going into the weekend (aside from having nothing to wear and being terrible at talking to people one-on-one) was that I would meet all these people in real life and it would be WEIRD. But it was not weird at all! I felt like I’d talked to them all one hundred thousand times before. Probably because, uh, I had.

Also, I was really sick. I expected to have vomitous anxiety, but I did NOT expect to have a rabid badger stretching its legs in my sinuses. You guys, I took so much ibuprofen and tylenol and benadryl JUST TO STAY AFLOAT. By Sunday I had no voice. None voice. Not even a glimmer of a hum could be heard.

Did I mention I flew into Detroit so Arwen wouldn’t have to make the 4-hour trip to Chicago alone? And then she ended up having to try to keep the both of us entertained with only one side of a conversation for the whole entire trip back? Thankfully she is AMAZING and has an endless supply of hilarious and incredible stories, or we might have died of the silence in my throat.

Have you ever flown with a sinus infection? In case you’re ever tempted, let me save you the trouble and describe for you what it felt like. With a lot of detail, because that’s important.

It felt like someone was sharpening a pencil in my ear.

The poor chick sitting beside me! She was in the row in front of me, when Sympathy-Inducing-Mother-and-Daughter showed up. Daughter was just seven! Daughter and Mother were in separate rows! Would she please give up her aisle seat to take Mother’s middle seat in the row behind? Because she was nice and really couldn’t say no without looking like a horrible person, she agreed. And got sat between me and another woman with a hacking cold.

I’m so sorry, lady stuck between us on the plane. I hope no one is sharpening pencils in your ears.

Anyway, aside from my newly school supply capable ears, the weekend was really amazing, and I can’t wait to get to see everyone again. In addition to all the people I already knew would be awesome, I met new awesome people I didn’t know about. Hi new people! I will now begin internet stalking you, as is my fashion.