Everyone eventually reads Twilight, right?

Posted by unintendedchoice on October 18th, 2010

Dear Twilight,

There are people out there in all of our lives who look at us strangely when they hear we stayed up for 3 days straight getting through a book about a vampire & werewolf love triangle, or that we’re going to a midnight release of a movie in costume, that we met friends online or laugh hysterically every time we pass by an Olive Garden. Not only do they look at us strangely, but they judge us. And while it’s nice to say, “They just don’t know what they’re missing out on,” I think if we were all honest we’d admit it pisses us off. How DARE they judge something they #1 don’t know anything about and #2 has been so important in each one of our lives? And furthermore, when you RUN a Twilight blog and get a chance to SIT DOWN with the Twilight creator and you STILL judge me, well, maybe that bug you found in your lunchtime salad wasn’t the grocery stores fault after all…. (okay no, I didn’t do that, but I considered it!)

So after almost 2 years of obsessing & blogging and while most people in my life have either succumbed to the pressure of my constant begging to join the obsession or judge me incessantly and have a restraining order against me, it is so nice when someone in my life finally DOES jump on board! And instead of spending my days writing anonymous hate letters to those who judge my, I can spend my days reminiscing about losing my own Twilight virginity along with my newly obsessing friend? My sister Snails was that recent person in my life.

Snails (I really call her that, by the way) knew I loved the saga. She knew our two other sisters read & loved it. She knew I ran a semi-famous Twilight blog & got to meet the author. Yet she still had no desire to crack open the book. It wasn’t until we found out the Step-Monster from Hell (aka dad’s now EX-Fiancee) was coming along with us on family vacation that she decided she needed a distraction.

A few days later, she responded to my “Hello!???? THOUGHTS????” email with this:

i haven’t actually started new moon… i will tonight. It keeps reminding me of Avatar. I think of it whenever edward and company are running in the forest, how they can run really fast, and bella on his back feeling like she’s not even moving, and how graceful they are, that always reminds me of the pandorians (?)…. and sometimes i would catch myself picturing the cullens with tails and the wide-brimmed nose. haaa. i kept having to remind myself that they look like humans. and also the fact that the vampires have such a good sense of smell and good hunters reminded me of avatar. i don’t remember a whole lot about the movie, but i do remember how graceful the pandorians were. I guess since the Cullens aren’t human, and they do so many unhuman things, my brain can’t really wrap around it, so I picture it in 3D like Avatar. So that brings me to my next question, are the movies in 3D??? Because they should be!

And I asked the most important question: “Do you LOVE Edward!?”

Yes, I love Edward minus the tail and big nose. He’s soooo dreamy. But I still love my husband. Although sometimes I got annoyed at edwards mood swings… Especially in the beginning of the book when he stared at Bella with black eyes… I hated him then, but now he’s cool. He made up for it by being awesome.

A few days later, it was obvious she was full-force into New Moon because of this text:

“Hubby & I are snuggling in bed. He is cold. I am warm. He is Edward and I am Jacob. Jacob & Edward are spooning!! Ha! He didn’t like that joke…”

Think they'll take on Leah as a Sister Wife?

And then a few days later, randomly out of nowhere:

“I can’t choose! Team Edward or Jacob? Edward or Jacob!? I actually want them all to live in a plural marriage. That’s the best option. I hope that’s how it ends. I just let the boy I nanny for sleep in so I could read a few more chapters.”

Sigh.. remember that? Neglecting little children to read more about Edward (and imagine being in a plural marriage with him & Jacob? Oh wait.. that might just be Sister Snails.)

And when it was all over, I received a text I shall cherish for all eternity:

“You were right. I loved them”

Ahh…. the best words to hear! Makes dealing with those who judge me almost worth it.

After the jump, read another story of a friend getting her retribution

Dear Twilight Books,

About two years ago, I gave in (hard and fast) and read you all – very quickly. Then I gave in again and read you again and then, yet, again. I also did not tell a soul that I was reading you. You see, I have been a member of a very snooty book club for a long time – these high brow book snobs laugh at you and your poorly written monologues and inner diatribes – um, Bella?? Now, I have left this book club – I won’t go into reasons.

Three days ago, though, I was vindicated and validated in my love for you – here in my real world – not just here on LTT or LTR.
One of my friends from snooty book club, called me to tell me – with a bit of shame in her voice – that she had begun to read my books – yes, my books – “I’m reading THOSE books – um, Julie, you know the ones, THOSE books about the vampires, that I laughed at you about…and um, Julie, um, I LOVE them. They are keeping me up at night. I have to talk to somone about them, and um, Julie, that someone can only be YOU…” She proceeded to talk my ear off about you – while I nodded and smiled – laughing at Bella’s wishy washy ways, shaking her fists at Jacob for being so manipulative and wondering where her shiny, sparkly, hot ass vampire is…

We're not a cult. We're a gang

Now, I thought this was all too great – she had been converted to my cult – as another friend calls it – I’ve brought another over to the dark side…the sparkly dark side, if you will but then she called me back. Having not yet finished Breaking Dawn, she decided to play psychic and tell me what was going to happen…or what SHE THOUGHT was going to happen. Well, *spoiler alert* although who has NOT read Breaking Dawn(??) She nails it – Jacob and Renessmee – Bella as a Vampire – even the reason why she had to become a vampire – death by vampire baby?? I never guess the first time I read it – I felt depressed by MY inability to see what would happen. Why didn’t I? Was I blinded by love? Blinded by the sparkling? I don’t know. I was amazed – it’s like she’s ALICE!! Oh my Edward, here she is a newborn to you – Twilight Series and she totally guesses the ending – even the Volturi and their inablility to control Bella – So, tell me Twilight – what do I do? I still love you – if I could stand Bella and her stuttering and stammering I’d probably read you again but for now, I’ll just be content with the knowledge that I loved you first.

Uh, what I wouldn’t give to have my Twilight virginity back! Those were the days *sigh*

Loved reading these Twilight virgins’ stories. It’s like everyone who read the books go through the same experience. Previously, I had never been this obsessed with a series (well HP was there but social networking wasn’t) I still get baffled when I see how these books bring all these people together.

Midnight_Cyn

How perfect is this post! My Sister in law just yesterday during our weekly converstation, randomly asked me “Have you heard of a book called Twilight?” I stumbled, fumbled like Bella..stared at the phone like it might have been tapped…HOW? WHY? would she ask ME that question? Had my secret leaked somehow? i regrouped as well as I could and calmly said “ahhh, yes that book holds a very special meaning for me!” and quickly flipped to “So have YOU read it?” When she said no, I said way too fast “YOU MUST, you’ll love it!” and then really screwed up by adding…”and when your finished don’t worry, I have all the books on audio and all the movies that are out….” THANKFULLY she started to interupt and ask me a question .. giving me a second to pause…(as I was suddenly out of breath and about to spill all)..I quickly offered to go get her brother so they could have some talk time….phew…I MUST BE MORE CAREFUL in the future…Good Morning ladies 🙂

Obava

Hail Cyn!
Be strong amd play it cool- don’t blow your wad all at once 🙂

Stacey

Hi Cyn!!

MidnightCougar

Good Morning, well actually Good afternoon, pretty lady. How are things? 🙂

Midnight_Cyn

“Good Morning, well actually Good afternoon, pretty lady” Should you be drinking so heavily in the morning..tee hee..(especially if you could see me right now..)
How are things in your world? 🙂

MidnightCougar

Things are well TY; the promotion of my friend’s book on his battle with Prostate Cancer is going quite well, so I’m feeling pretty good about that. Life is always crazy with the children coming & going all the time, but it keeps life exciting & everyone seems happy & healthy, so that’s what’s important!

btw, I didn’t get to see your son’s Wedding pics b/c of those stupid hackers here at LTT, do you think you could re-post them? I would love to see them! 🙂

Midnight_Cyn

Glad to hear things are good in your world! Especially about having healthy happy kids! THAT is what is important for sure!
I don’t know what happened to the photo’s but after the hacking at LTT, two days later my photo album was gone also? I had put them on photobucket, but now its says I don’t have an account, album etc.?? Will try to find somewhere else to post them if you would like?
Also glad to hear about your friends book. I too someday would like to write about my experience, not so much about me but about what it is like dealing with a work related injury and how badly the system is broken…
Hugs! 🙂

MidnightCougar

Cyn, you should definitely write a book or even a series of Journals; you have such an amazing story to tell. I wish I was closer so I could help you; it would certainly be an honor to be able to help with a project like that! It’s nice to be able to use some of my Education for rewarding work like that; that’s what makes helping my friend so great!

I think, for you, in the US, your story is much more complicated than it would be here in Canada; our Medical & Worker Compensation Programs are very different from the US.

Take care & keep in touch: 🙂 MC

eatmyjorts

I saw these photos…they were great & Cyn’s all dark, twinkly & gorgeous. I’d also love to read your story, I didn’t know that your injury was work related in some way. Anything ill-health related in the States scares me, unless you have mega insurance. Thank God for the NHS, no matter how clonky it may be.

The Old One

Wait, doesn’t your family already know all about you and your “habit”, Cyn? Or does the Twi-daughter enable the addiction and not rat you out? Oh, what tangled lives we lead!

Midnight_Cyn

Hey there..NO the family doesn’t know about LTT or my “secret Twi-world”. Yes they know the whole thing about the book Twilight due to the almost year long reading/watching/notetaking etc., but after that..nope..except for Twi-daughter and that is only b/c I have had to ask her zillions of questions, zillions of times. They all think my “blanket Edward” is in celebration of my success in finally finishing Twilight! I watch the movies on my computer and other than a couple of slip ups (when I say a word I have learned here by accident, much to my embarrassment) do I get a question or two, but for the most part I am in hiding.. 🙂

The Old One

Hmm, I’m giggling thinking about what some of those words could be, that you’ve learned from your naughty little friends….

Midnight_Cyn

I can’t remember which ones got me in trouble but if you ask someone here like Team Seth etc., I am sure they will know..all I do remember is that I was really worried that one or more would roll off my tongue at the wrong time and sure enough they have….damn I wish I could remember which one got me in real trouble with the hubs?? TS??? JodieO? I can say that I have learned words here that I never thought would EVER be in my vocab… lol.. 🙂

snowwhitedrifted

@Cyn
I got in trouble for using “leg-hitch”.

TeamSeth

I’m thinking. It was a “common” one. Something like cock block. Give me a day to think about it.

Cookie

I got my own Edward blankie too! I couldn’t help but blab my obssession to a friend and she was kind enought to give it as birthday gift. As I consider myself no longer a Twi-virgin – its been 3 months now – have read the books at least 4x – I have graduated to fanfic which is a totally different world. I have TOO to thank for that – for steering me in the right direction!! Forever grateful ….

Midnight_Cyn

I am thinking that I must have a serious discussion with “Blanket Eddie”..I had NO idea he was cheating on me all this time with SO MANY others……blanket whore that he is….

TeamJacobEdward

Hey sort of distant relative thanks to my husband. 🙂 Hahaha! (I’m such a geek, I think that is so cool.)

But yes, we have to be careful with those Twilight Virgins. (I remember how skeptical I was wondering if it was really worth it. Thankfully my friend borrowed me the book so I felt like I had to give it a shot, next thing I knew I was telling people they HAD to read this book.)

We can’t overwhelm them and scare them off. Just try to gently but enthusiastically guide them to the book (including borrowing it to them because then they feel like they kind of have to at least give it a shot then before they know it, they’ll be hooked)…

Then we wait for them to come back to us with their crazed enthusiasm. That’s when we smile and love the reminiscence of losing our Twilight Virginity as they swim in the wonder of losing theirs. 🙂

PS: How are you?

GeminiGypsy

To Leg Hitch a.k.a. Julie, your friend must just be really good at figuring plotlines out! I’m usually really good at it, but I didn’t figure out all of Breaking Dawn either. I knew something was going to have to happen to fix the love triangle- because Edward would get fed up if Bella was constantly running off to Jacob, and Jacob had already considered killing himself…but I didn’t know how. I knew they were going to have sex, and Bella was going to become a vampie, but I didn’t figure out the baby part either. So, don’t worry about not being able to guess it- it’s normal, as normal as liking a book about hot, shiny volvo owners (that happen to be vampires) can be 🙂

Ugh I knew the entire story before I even started reading the first page. That’s why you should never Wiki something book/movie related. I remember back in the day, in Aug 2008, (just after BD was out) there was this Twilight hoopla going on, meaning the phenomenon was JUST starting and the words Stephenie Meyer and Edward were everywhere on the interwebs. First I wiki’d Steph, and then made the mistake of clicking on the character page of Edward Cullen. I believe it goes something like this in the FIRST FREAKIN’ paragraph: “107 yr old vampire, who meets, falls in love, marries and has a child with human Bella Swan.” Thanks wikipedia, really. I learned my lesson then.

snowwhitedrifted

Wiki is the devil. I did it too, while reading New Moon.
I tried to stop reading the synopsis but couldn’t. I’m so sad I knew what was going to happen.

I also clicked on a wiki link to the current book I’m reading, just to clarify a character… then I read the next couple of sentences which revealed an upcoming plot twist. I quickly clicked off the page and was so proud! Only a few chapters were spoiled.
Damn you wikipedia for being a temptation, though!

P.S.

I sort of suspected that Jacob was going to imprint on Renesmee, otherwise why go to all the trouble of the Quil/Claire imprinting explanation. But I also kept expecting the whole book to ‘end badly’, in which case I was prepared to hunt Stephanie down*, or at least write her an angry letter!

*just to say hi, and maybe beg her NOT to work on that other book that nobody wants to read.

Late convert

I am a very recent convert. I am not to proud to confess that I was a doubter, I may have even “scoffed” at the very idea of reading a teen vampire romance.

But then after repeated pestering I finally let my daughter christen her new Kindle with Twilight (retrospectively realising – what an honour for the Kindle!). I thought I should be responsible and read them as well (she’s only 10…) The day I heard her wailing from the other room – NOOOOOO!!! IT CAN’T END THIS WAY!!!!!! (she’d just finished New Moon) I knew we were in trouble. Then I reached the end of NM and even though we were on kindle book rationing (2 books per month and it was barely the end of the first week of the month) I immediately downloaded the last two. We read all four books in just over a week.

Husband thought we had gone completely insane, but in the interests of not being judgemental he volunteered to read them and promptly finished them in a week…

So now we’ve finished all the books and watched all the movies several times (husband is a photographer and he says the lighting is very good in the movies which is why it’s ok for him to watch them repeatedly with us – YEAH RIGHT!)

I also homeschool and was very impressed to discover that there are some excellent Twilight themed lesson plans out there that allowed us to shamelessly indulge ourselves.

Yep, we’re making up for lost time…and I officially retract all doubts, scoffing and unkind things I may have said in those dark and unenlightened days BT (Before Twilight).

Bea

Aw, you got a unicorn in the deal and everything. Perfect ending!
Have you seen the Twilight vocab workbooks? They’re geared for the SAT but would be great for homeschooling.

Late convert

and there’s even a kindle version!

But oh, it feels just a bit over the top…then again, could there be such a thing?

P.S.

What an honor for the kindle, indeed! Loved your comment!

Midnight_Cyn

Quick question for the dim one..what’s a kindle?

Midnight_Cyn

Major comment fail AGAIN: Meant to say, quick question FROM the dim one.. ( I am really having trouble writing the words correctly today..my brain is seeing them the wrong way and I don’t realize it until much later, if at all)..sorry, hope you didn’t think I was being rude..arghh..no more commenting for me today!!

Late convert

Kindle = Amazon e-book reader. I was wary about whether I would like reading books that way, but after doing the saga in a week and my eyes not falling out, I think it’s ok. It’s great too because I can be reading Twilight and when husband asks ‘what are you reading?’ I can lie through my teeth and say ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and he will never know the difference. You can also get Kindle for PC/Mac so you can read the books on your laptop…not that I would ever do that when I’m meant to be working…

HAhah!! I love it!!!!! Totally normal!
And i’ve just saved that link in my favorites to prove it.
Twi-hating-laptop-snooping-husband be damned!!!

luvedwardlongtime

I was also working for a family during the time I started the series. After school, the kids would have their homework time and I would have my twilight time. Once they were done, I would still be reading, not wanting to put the books down. Snacks and cartoons had to wait till I was at least done with the chapter!!

Love this post! Talking to people fresh off their first Twilight read is so fun. That’s normal?

I spent the weekend at a horror convention and across from our booth was a “Fuck Twilight” t-shirt on display. Everyone made sure to point it out to me. Haters gonna hate! Actually, I wanted to buy it and write “I totally would” on it. …normal?

Sue G.

Totally normal!

Midnight_Cyn

PERFECT, JUST PERFECT! 🙂

ChillinWithCullens

Do it! Do it! ….make the shirt I mean 🙂

TeamSeth

You have to do it! And then at MegaCon wear “Haters Don’t Sparkle” pin that’s in the post today.

My family and in-laws pretty much know about my love of Rob and all things Twilight but they don’t really know how unconditional and irrevocable it really is. One sister-in-law has read the books and is a mild fan but nowhere near as into it as I am. My sister made fun of Rob’s nose. So I gave up on ever having them understand.

Then last month another sister-in-law had surgery on her ankle and was laid up for a few days. She told me she finally consented to reading the entire Saga since she didn’t have anything else to do. She…..liked them. She didn’t think they were particularly well-written (well duh!) but she enjoyed the story. I watched her carefully, waiting for her eyes to convey her barely-concealed obsession. I grew excited at the thought of schooling her in the ways of all things Twilight.

But…..no. That was it. No talking about how gorgeous Robward is. She didn’t even bring up Renesmee. WTF?

Thank God I have you guys.

Stacey

She didn’t bring up the BABY!!! Honestly, how could you not? Wait…did you spell the baby’s name right? I am looking at your post and still can’t spell it. I am impressed! :0)

BTW, Kandnandb…I didn’t get the mullet or that very special hairstyle that snowwhitedrifted posted on Friday.Though it was tempting… :0)

@Stacey-That was the night of my husband’s HS reunion. Remember how I got hammered? I’m lucky my sister-in-law brought it up during my 3rd drink, not my 13th or else I would have spilled it ALL….super secret Twitter account, LTT merch, fanfic, naked Rob manips…..Oh the horror!!

Oh, so you went w/ the bowl cut then. Good choice. 😉

snowwhitedrifted

LMAO!!
…and the bowl cut!

dazzledtodeath

I let a friend borrow my books-she seemed really into it and went through them really quickly, we talked about how we loved reliving the excitement of being so in love for the first time, I lent her some of my Robporn-and she said he was nice-looking, but didn’t live up to the fantasy of Edward. Ugh. Hopes instantly dashed.

The Old One

I really want to know why some people “imprint” on the books and some don’t. Can we get a scientific study of the percentages? Or what it is in some people’s natures that makes them likely to get addicted, and others not? It kinda makes me crazy wondering about this.

Seriously! That’s an awesome question and I was having a similar thought this morning, related to fanfic. Why do some people really get into fanfic and others don’t give a crap?

Midnight_Cyn

Hi NCN! How are ya? Wanted to ask since you mentioned fanfic, do you know if there is any SAFE fanfic out there? I have yet to venture into that scary world…I get enough shocking information here, but am curious since everyone is always talking about it…

IKR! I was like, “How did she get that comparison?!” and then somewhere in reading her description I realized that was probably why I liked Avatar so much.

Or the revisitation of Alien in a non-scary manner… Non-Twi Secret: I can’t watch scary movies (or even previews for them), so I’ve never seen Alien, but whenever I still go I was a kid, we used to go to Disney’s MGM Studios all the time. I loved going on the Great Movie Ride in the “Chinese Theater”. But I hated the Alien section of the ride. I used to close my eyes and my ears (I think hearing is my strongest sense because when I can’t hear as well, things are always less intense/scary to me). Then when I saw Avatar I felt a nostalgia for Alien because of Sigourney Weaver, despite never having seen Alien or her in a film–only as a animatronic being in that ride. Oh Disney, how you ruined me.

Bea

I don’t do scary movies or their previews either. But you have to see Sigourney Weaver in “Dave” with Kevin Kline. One of my favorites of all time!

kitkat

To me, Avatar was Pocahontas (yay Disney!) plus Fern Gully. Cool effects, but the 3-D gave me a headache.

This weekend I pulled out a Edward fleece blanket that someone had gotten me as a gag gift which prompted my mother (who was visiting) to ask me to tell her the rest of the Twilight story (she had seen New Moon with me but nothing before or since). (And no, I couldn’t suggest that she read the books herself – no way is she going to put down those Pulitzer Prize winners for Twilight.) So, after much prodding, I reluctantly told her the whole deal, creepy c-sections and imprinting on infants included. I’m sure you guys know, but MAN is it hard to hear yourself telling someone the story – OUT LOUD.

My poor dad just kept looking at me, wondering what the heck had happened to his intelligent, college educated daughter who used to read Grownup Books. Oh dad. She’s still there, she just likes Twilight, too.

TeamSeth

What is your mom reading? Hopefully fiction. I’m looking for a new book now that I’ve finished The Unbearable Lightness of Scones.

Not sure of the last fiction she read, but she just finished The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. It’s non-fiction, about a family discovering that their dead mother’s cells were harvested without her knowledge and have been used for years in research in medical research that has led to huge medical breakthroughs. True story. I guess the scientists thought it was ok to do it because she was poor, black and it was the 1950s.

Midnight_Cyn

Here I thought all this time I was the only one sleeping with Eddie…I may have to rethink our friendship… J/k..
🙂

I only read the inside flap but my mom said it was very interesting. Now that it has a second recommendation (from you!) I’m definitely going to have to make a trip to the library.

kitkat

@NCN- See, we really are an online book club!

Midnight_Cyn

Forgot NCN to mention that I LOVE your blog! How beautifully done it is and your family!! I would have left a msg, but I wasn’t sure how to comment. Love the pics! Also, do you have any relatives in Southern MA by any chance? (We could actually be related and not know it) 🙂 xoxo

Midnight_Cyn

COMMENT FAIL: Meant to say: “How nicely done it is and such a beautiful family!!

First, thanks for the kind words about my blog. I have fun with it and it keeps the relatives who live away up to date with the kids.

Second, no, I have no relatives in Southern MA but wouldn’t it be hilarious if we were related?! My husband’s family (I assume you are referring to my last name) is from Utah and California.

Third, regarding your above question about fanfic: I am not an expert. I have only ever read two complete fanfics. Most of the stuff out there is *ahem* more than I can (or would care to) handle. But there are some really great ones out there. Wide Awake is really really good as is the University of Edward Masen. (I do confess to reading the censored version of Wide Awake and then skipping certain parts of UOEM – I realize this is TOTAL BLASPHEMY to most lovers of fanfic, as the smutty stuff is what a lot of people love fanfic for, but for me, I just (mostly…) don’t go there. Go to fanfiction.net and search for stories with K or T rating (though I don’t exactly know what those mean…and maybe WA and UOEM are rated M and I never noticed…? whatever).

Any other great ones out there that I’m missing, guys?

ALSO, I will take this opportunity to shamelessly plug my own fanfic, which I am told does not completely suck. Stacey was kind enough to tell everyone about it last week without telling you guys who was writing because I didn’t want my husband to find out. He ocassionally checks this site for kicks and knows my screen name. However, I accidentally left my laptop open to a suspicious webpage last week and it all came out and he’s been so awesomely supportive I don’t know why I didn’t tell him in the beginning.

AAAAAAANYWAY, if you want to check it out (it’s “safe,” Cyn, but there is a little action in it and more to come) my pen name on fanfiction.net is Wannabe Charlotte and my story is called Wrenfield Hall.

I am still in shock that I feel for these books as hard as I did. I had loved book series and authors before…Anne of Green Gables, Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters and okay, I’ll admit it, I love those Sookie books. But, Twilight, which I was fighting with every inch of my being drew me in.

I do enjoy making fun of them, but in a strange way it’s because I love them so much. I might complain about Bella, the baby, most of New Moon, but f anybody tried to stop; me from rereading them or took them away from me and put them in a garage sale I would be attempted to go all ‘Rosalie’ on them.

I don’t think I can blame the postpartum hormones anymore. I just irrationally love them and sometimes the Jacob passages (which I will attempt not to skim when I reread Breaking Dawn).

Attempt to not skim? Here’s the lowdown:
Jacob pouts.
Bella returns knocked up with evil demon spawn.
Jacob and Edward bond over mutual spawn hatred.
Sam wants to kill demon spawn.
Jacob flips and forms The Rebel Pack, complete with the Clearwaters and fingerless leather gloves.
Perimeter running.
Longing looks at Bella.
Perimeter running.
The Cullens are now a family because the kid can think out loud.
Jacob drives an Aston Martin and meets an awesome chick.
To save Bella, Jake temporarily suspends treaty.
Birth. Anger. Feeling left out. Hating Rosalie. IMPRINT!
Jacob becomes a pedo and Bella tries to kill him. Renesmee giggles a lot.
Jacob inadvertantly attempts a Swan on Swan murder of Charlie.
OH NOES! IRINA!
Jake hates the vampires but enables us to have an easy to read breakdown of the vamps who are in town.
Volturi arrive.
Nothing happens.
Volturi leave.
Jacob isn’t part of the story any longer.

Good?!

Stacey

That is the very best breakdown ever! That is why you are awesome. I will have to reread for these reasons…I forgot about the fingerless gloves, the awesome chick (another ball dropped for the purpose of the IMPRINT aka way to make the love with no name seem kosher) and the almost Swan on Swan murder. It was all that perimeter running that did me in.

But wait! You forgot Nahuel! That possible sequel protagonist that can come between the ‘imprint love’ of The baby and Jacob… Maybe, Leah can get a man in that one.

Sj

Oh, how I resented Awesome Chick when she popped up…..then she went away…and Renesme came….sad times.

Fingerless gloves? I don’t remember that, I need to get my books back from BFF, her cherry will just have to go buy it’s own set.

TeamSeth

Well, the fingerless gloves is Breakfast Club reference, so it’s good you don’t remember it from NM 😉

The perimeter running… oof. It just goes on and on… But that section is worth reading just for Jacob’s chapter titles. I giggle uncontrollably every time.

Stacey

Those titles were good… I part of me wished that our girl Bella got a little sassy and made up some good chapter titles…nah she was too busy staring at Edward’s chisled abs and tousled hair. sigh…teenage girls…nope..just teenage girls named Bella.

Actually, I just had a thought…I know surprising…but maybe it was just me, didn’t Bella seem to act really grownup very quickly after she became a vampire? I know that she went through, the worst pregnancy ever in literture…but I would still think she would keep a little of the teenage Bella in her actions. It wasn’t like she was ancient like Edward and he definitely still had his teenage boy moments. Sorry, it just popped in my head and I wanted to share.

I didn’t like the Jacob chapters at first…but they really grew on me. There’s something about Jacob watching Edward watching Bella drink blood from a straw. PLEASE show blood from a straw in the movie.

eatmyjorts

I, of course, irrevocably loved the Jacob chapters, but then I have only listened to BD on ipod, not read it per se. Now I hear that there are funny chapter titles? May have to go & linger in a bookstore.

LattersBaby

How do you like the audio book? I hear it leaves something to be desired…but if it keeps me on the treadmill longer, I’ll try it. After all, jorts season is just around the corner.

Me too! that True Mud thing was so funny. With the itty bitty Sam shirt. 😀

MidnightCougar

My 10 yr old daughter convinced me – after much nagging – to finally read the Twilight Saga books in January 2010; needless to say I read them all in a matter of several weeks. I have read them all countless times, but my favorite is “Twilight” – that initial love story plot development – it’s what sucked me in & what keeps me here!

Most of my friends & collegues know that I am a Twihard & they even e-mail me jokes & links when they see Twilight related stuff. I received this link from a friend recently; it’s a Twilight related cartoon & is actually pretty funny!http://lucylou.livejournal.com/566295.html

When I first looked at this I thought “What kind of jerk thumbs downs a totally benign comment like this?”

And then I realized it was your comment, Janetrigs, and that’s just someone showing you some love.

JustGoWithIt

It can be hard to tell when you’ve helped bring a new Twilight fan into the world, since people are so hesitant to admit it. I definitely brought my mom along with me. But she didn’t go as far as reading The what was it called again, the invasion of the body snatchers book…The Host hoping it was going to be just as addictive. Or reading The Hunger Games since that was the next teen series people were into.

kitkat

I like that so many people are “forced” into reading the books by either hospital stays or lack of other reading material. I’ve been a fan for a few years now, and over Christmas break two years ago I got a call from a girl I don’t know that well but lived across the hall from me. Her reason for calling? “Kitkat, I’ve been in the hospital for a few days, but that’s not important. I started reading those twilight books you like and they are soooooo gooooood!”
🙂

my best friend refused to read them because she doesn’t usually like conforming to what everyone else does.
and also because our school was swarmed with those really annoying gothic vampire loving girls that run around screaming about Edward and have their boyfriends ‘bite’ them to turn them into a vampire *gag* (that seriously happened)
AND if she read them her boyfriend would be a douche and be all like “are you gonna turn into one of those TWILIGHT GIRLS?!” (good thing they’re broken up now ;D)
FINALLY i got her to crack! sadly i don’t remember how, but it worked! and she read them, and she loved them and felt exactly how i did at every part! except for that she still liked Edward more than Jacob, and i like Jacob :]
and lucky her, almost every night the whole time she was reading them she dreamt about Twilight. but lucky for ME she sometimes dreamt about her and Edward ANND me and Jacob mwahaha (and then she told me about it) 🙂

anyways, she is now my Twilight buddy, and i am so glad that she finally read them!

P.S.
has anyone addressed the issue of people TELLING Twilight virgins what happens in the books WHILE they’re reading them?! she read them while she was at school and people would randomly tell her what happens at the end of the book. i would NEVER EVVVERR do that, that’s like a crime! it should be illegal!
i mean, you probably can’t really do it anymore, because everyone has either read the books or already knows what’s gonna happen just from people talking about it lol

Yes. Thank you Stephenie. Those things never fail to bring a smile to my face. My best Twi friend and I when we’re taking and one of us is obviously having a bad day all either of us haas to say is; “hitch,” “feathers,” “busted headboard,” or “Isle Esme” and instantly we’re smiling hugely… Like I am right now. 😀

Awe, this brings me back. My twi-cherry-popping anniversary happens next month. I read the book on a camping trip last Thanksgiving… and the rest in the following month. Yes, it took my over a month, don’t judge.

TeamSeth

psst-don’t tell, but it took me over a month to read just Eclipse. 😐

MidnightCougar

“Eclipse” was my hardest Twilight read. Honestly, I found it quite boring & it really drug-on, the first time I read it; My daughter said the same thing. But, the other several times I’ve read it, it went much better. 🙂

Cookie

I agree about Eclipse! For me, the first read is to get to know the story and develop attachments to the characters. Second read, I wanted to really understand each scene. Third read, just kept on looking for Edward scenes and skipped Jacob. Fourth read, what the heck, give Jacob a chance read. Fifth read – I just love Twilight!!!!!

MidnightCougar

Totes agree! *raises champagne glass* Here’s a toast to the multiple re-reads of the Twilight Saga books – the more I read them, the more I enjoy them!

TeamSeth

Oh good. Yeah, it took a week to read Twi, but that was because it was a really busy work week. Everyone thought I was getting really sick because I was sooo tired (from sleeping 1 hour each night hehe) Then I read Midnight Sun during reading parties with my sister. Then I read NM in a Saturday. And then I waited a full month to start Eclipse, beecause I wanted to make it last longer, and I needed to focus on work too. If i’d know it would’ve taken so long, I might not have worried about it so much. Then BD was a week. But, I haven’t reread Eclipse or BD. I’ve read NM 3 or 4 times. Twi twice. MS twice. And BD I’m going to start in on soonish. Sigh.

TeamSeth

Oh good. Yeah, it took a week to read Twi, but that was because it was a really busy work week. Everyone thought I was getting really sick because I was sooo tired (from sleeping 1 hour each night hehe) Then I read Midnight Sun during reading parties with my sister. Then I read NM in a Saturday. And then I waited a full month to start Eclipse, because I wanted to make it last longer, and I needed to focus on work too. If i’d know it would’ve taken so long, I might not have worried about it so much. Then BD was a week. But, I haven’t reread Eclipse or BD. I’ve read NM 3 or 4 times. Twi twice. MS twice. And BD I’m going to start in on soonish. Sigh.

Luludee

I’ve been fighting re-reading the saga, but I think I’m going to have to cave. But first I have to read The Hunger Games trilogy! Then I can devote myself to Twilight again for a short time.

OT – This weekend I saw an old man, like 60+, wearing a home-made “Team Jacob” t-shirt. I was at a BBQ joint and I seriously wished I had a Twitter acct at that moment so that I could share it with the world.

TeamSeth

I wish you’d had been able to take a photo. It’s moments like those we must cherish.

Luludee

It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway, because my camera on my phone was malfunctioning 🙁

But as soon as I spotted it, I had to tell someone, so I pointed it out to my brother who also laughed and thought I should take a picture. He even offered to help by posing so that it looked like I was taking a picture of him instead of the guy.

Rob’s flaming dashboard

That’s exactly why you need a twitter!

Luludee

I’m thinking about it. It seems like a good way to stay in touch with or build on friendships in the LTT community.

Nelle

I resisted the books because I was a Harry Potter fan (I know- sill reason) but I broke down and read them this past winter (February- March) while we were having blizzards in the Philadelphia area. Luckily I had my eBook to download them! I read them all in 4 days. What a happy time. I will always think of Twilight when it snows!

What an awesome image – housebound with nothing to do but watch the snow come down and read Twilight for the first time – fantastic.

LegHitch

this has made my night!! I’m calling my bestie as we speak to tell her – THANKS GUYS!!

tankergirl

I only busted my Twilight cherry early this year. It was glorious, and I wish I could experience it again, knowing now just how special a time it was. My fondest memory was the (late) night I was devouring Eclipse. Bella was bouncing back & forth between the boys and my heart and hoo hoo were pounding in unison. I had to hop out of bed and make a wine & cigs run to get a break & draw it out. And cheesy loser that I am, the wine I bought was called Black Swan. But it was tasty. I was so excited! And I also had to eat crow and admit that it was, indeed, porn; which I had staunchly denied when accused of that earlier in the day by a boy at work.
Oh to see it all again through fresh eyes.

eatmyjorts

I was in a little fb comments ‘war’ about whether Twilight was porn recently. My friend, who’s a staunch Christian was asking whether she should read them. Me (also Christian) said yes, lots of interesting/entertaining things plus good discussion starter, another friend of hers said they were porn, & that she hadn’t read them…so what kind of porn do you mean? Just self-indugent over-emotional wallow in it romancefest…or something more literal?

Midnight_Cyn

Hey EMJ: Hugs!! A little off topic and I am not sure whether or not I have mentioned this before but I am (as you all know) kind of old fashioned and I guess a prude? So as far as Twilight being porn, IMO, NO way however my biggest complaint all along has been that I think Twilight (to me) sends the wrong message regarding suicide/dying. (Hope I explain this right)..These books/movies were marketed towards teens..(who already have too high of a suicide rate.and don’t fully understand the concept of death being permanent.), So for examples: In Twilight Bella says: “I’ve never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go” Next is when she thinks she is dying “Death is easy, peaceful, life is harder” (I especially think this is an EXTREMELY wrong message to send b/c kids CAN associate with this fact) Then in NM when Edward says: “I do envy him one thing….the suicide” Then goes into a monologe about poison, dagger to the heart, so many options…He even elaborates with “I had to consider once, I didn’t know if I would get to you in time. I had to come up with some kind of plan” Of course at the end we know he does attempt suicide ..even his statement to Bella “Your my only reason to stay alive if that’s what I am” then of course throughtout NM Bella does all those dangerous/risky and potentially fatal things just to “see” Edward. I just think it sends the wrong msg. especially to teens going through breakups with ppl they think are their one true love… I don’t know if Eclipse has any of these type of lines but it is troublesome for me at least..also, please remember that I am taking this info from the movies alone (yes I did just watch both of them again…for research purposes only lol)..not really just my daily viewing.. 🙂
On a lighter note, does anyone know when Eclipse FINALLY comes out on DVD…I can’t stand the wait!! 🙂

MidnightCougar

Yes darlin’, “Eclipse” comes out on DVD Dec.4th, in the US & Canada! YEAH!!

TeamSeth

I definitely agree with this. Love is louder! The relationship with Bella and Edward is something that has been particularly upsetting to me for this type of reason. We know it’s not intended as such, but for a teenager, these things can seem like the only option, especially when you feel like your only friends are the people who left you and no one else really “gets” you.

I will point out that in the book New Moon when Jessica and Bella go to the zombie movie and Bella approaches the “bad boys” at the bar, Jessica says, “What are you, suicidal?” and Bella answers, “No.” quite intensely before realizing that her question was rhetorical. So, this is good in the way that 1) Bella is quite determinedly NOT suicidal and 2) Jessica (the “normal” teen) does not see suicide as a real thing– as in she says it, but doesn’t mean it.

The whole topic brings up the possessiveness of Edward. But it’s getting very tweed. I’ve always been worried about these things. And I’m glad that in Eclipse Bella is seen as stronger and NOT tolerant of Edward’s possessive behavior. Whereas in the book, she’s much more tolerant of it.

Sigh. These topics really upset me. But I must get back to work and stop hanging out LTT. 🙁

LattersBaby

Good insights, indeed. I loved NM, but I do worry about how younger women can read this saga. (Thumbs up to the Moms who are reading with their daughters).
I interpret Bella’s NM risky behavior as defiance. He has one request, the only way she can defy him in his absence is to deny his request…to regain some power, some agency. If I’m sixteen and love sick, I probably wouldn’t have this interpretation.

The Old One

Excellent insights, Cyn!

tankergirl

EMJ,
Definitely not porn as in Pornographic. Really not sexually graphic in any way. I mean porn in the sense that it is a romance novel, and romance novels may delight a woman in the same way nudie pix please a man. Not “same,” same, as we are very different creatures. But this particular fella had insinuated that the ladies don’t get a free pass on romance novels, just because they aren’t dirty. Fantasy is fantasy. And I had to agree with him, after seeing how Eclipse made my heart pound…and also made me want to pretend my pillow was Edward and make out with it.

Midnight_Cyn

FYI..Kristen Stewart is on Regis & Kelly this am….Morning everyone!!

MidnightCougar

Good Mornin’ Cyn! I totally forgot – watching now though, thanks! 🙂

Midnight_Cyn

So I am trying to be prepared for all the thumbsdown I am about to get…gonna get all tweed for a minute..
First of all, you guys know me, I am not a hater of anyone. I think I try and find the postive rather than focus on the negative in most situations. I really like Kristen Stewart as a young actress, with that said, I am starting to tire of the “nervous, toetapping, hairscratching, stuttering Bella act” during interviews. I “get it” that she is shy, doesn’t like the press or interviews, but like with any job, there are certain aspects that are out of our comfort zone but you have to learn to adapt. For example you might like working for a company but HATE going into meetings with the bosses…the first few times you are nervous, fidgety and uncomfortable…then a nice coworker or considerate boss calls you over and says how obvious it is that you are feeling insecure, hopefully gives you some suggestions on how to overcome this so that after a while you learn to at least appear to more composed and confident. So..back to Kristen..how many years since the Twilight explosion? How many movies has she done, promoted, been interviewed for? Even I am now at the point where I want to shout “Kristen STOP with the twitching, mumbled answers, sit up straight, talk like an adult and be professional” If she can’t do it on her own then why is someone NOT working to help her? Or if she truly can’t overcome her personal fears, then perhaps she should treat each interview like a performace. Get into a character that is confident, self assured and handle them that way. I feel so badly (for her) that at this stage of the game she still seems so miserable and uncomfortable? She wouldn’t even look at the clip that they showed of her new movie! Again, I really like Kristen and feel somewhat protective, like a parent, in saying either help her be more at ease or stop making her do these appearances that seem so hard for her.
Off the soapbox now….(sorry for the ramble) 🙂

Late convert

she needs to take lessons from Dakota Fanning – that girl is so calm in interviews.

TeamJacobEdward

I like your idea of her getting into character, think of it like an acting job.

It’s uncomfortable watching her in interviews sometimes because she seems so uncomfortable.

(I like LC’s suggestion too. She is exceptionally poised in interviews. Plus, Kristen even admitted going to Dakota for advice on things, maybe Dakota needs to help her on this too.)

MidnightCougar

No one should thumbs-down you Cyn b/c you aren’t harshly criticizing, you are just stating facts regarding Kristen’s interview behavior; & I agree with you. Personally, I like KStew, she’s not the best actress out there, but definitely not the worse. I really liked her in “Panic Room” & “The Runaways” & I’m looking forward to seeing her in “One The Road”.
I think she has improved somewhat, from her older interviews, but she is still very nervous & uncomfortble & it shows – the constant flipping the hair is what I really notice. I’m surprised that she hasn’t become more refined during interviews, as there are Public Relation Professionals out there to help celebrities with their press responsibilities.
Anyways, thumbs-up from me, thanks for the discussion & have a great day Cyn! 🙂

TeamJacobEdward

You know, I don’t understand why people are so snooty about books. I want to read a book for fun and relax and enjoy it. I think that might be why I enjoy books like Twilight, Hunger Games, & Fallen. I still read books like The Gargoyle, Water for Elephants & Pride and Prejudice and love them too.

But it seems like its those YA books I tend to go crazy in love with (okay & Pride and Prejudice because I’m a hopeless romantic). It’s NOT the angst and lack of sex in the books that makes me love the YA books, because I HATE that I don’t get good payoff. (I’m tortured with fade to sads over and over, and that’s if it even gets that far.) It’s because you get to just sit back and enjoy the story.

Why is it that some people think an entertaining story is beneath them?

Stacey

I agree! No matter the age designation or the book genre, if a book is well written it worthy of respect. Even though Anne of Green Gables is a YA book, I still reread the series yearly. It becomes a classic.

Honestly, if you enjoy a book then it should be about what you like. Other people shouldn’t make a person feel bad about enjoying something different than what they do. I will proudly admit that I like Twilight, to all of you…wait, maybe I should be doing that to people I know don’t love it as much. hmm…

TeamJacobEdward

Exactly. I think Twilight proved in a big way that I’m not alone in wanting to read a good story that keeps you entrained and wanting more. It’s not going to win an award for seriousness (unless we’re talking Tweed Serious). 🙂 It is an easy & super entertaining read that is a great, “fall in love with” story.

I agree. It’s not age designation or genre really. Because my favorite books span many of both of those. It’s just I’ve found the YA to be more about a good entertaining story than others. Usually with non YA books, they’re either super serious that they’re hard to get into because they’re just not grabbing you enough, or they’re SUPER bubble-gummy. Not all mind you, but you know what I mean, right? YA seems to be best at stick ing in that in between space. I’ve often wished that a YA book hadn’t been written for YA (obvious reasons). I just don’t see the draw of a book being a chore to read through. Maybe I’m just not as smart or something I mean I didn’t go to an elite school or anything. Maybe wanting to work to get through a story is a super smart person thing. I’m no idiot, but never a straight A student. I just feel that I work enough at my job, with raising my kids, marriage, housework, and this year recovering, etc… give me a book to escape.

That being said, any recommendations? 🙂 Or should I stick to reading truckloads of fanfic for now?

Late convert

Have your read any Juliet Marillier? Wildwood Dancing is her first YA novel followed by Cybele’s Secret. When you’re done with those you can move on to adult the Sevenwaters series, Bridei series etc. Be warned tho these are read through the night books as well.

TeamJacobEdward

😀

Thank you! Up all night, unable to put down books are EXACTLY what I’m always looking for… And EXACTLY the kind of books my husband hates when I find because I kind of swim in them and don’t come up for air. 🙂 Yey! … Well I’m off to Amazon.com to find the books. Thanks again LC!

MidnightCougar

“Anne of Green Gables” is my all time favorite book! I have the whole series too, along with the movies. I actuallly lived in PEI for 5 yrs, & have been to all the Anne attractions many times. You should vacation there some time, you & your family would love it – beautiful history & scenery. 🙂

MidnightCougar

This reply was supposed to be for Stacey! – not sure what happened?! 🙁

eatmyjorts

Wow! Those books (& the TV thing) are some of my favourites…I love the scene with all the trees in blossom – I often imagine myself there when life is hard.
I must re read them, hmm, I wonder where I out them?

MidnightCougar

I have been to the locations in Prince Edward Island, where they filmed the movies, it is absolutely beautiful there – very flat country-side, & many farms still exist – it’s like stepping back in time, even to go there now. We took a family vacation there 3 yrs ago & showed our children everything. They loved it too!

Bella_NaA

Somewhat off topic, but I recently popped my True Blood cherry, and after I got over laughing at those ridiculous retractable fangs, I got somewhat addicted *understatement of the week*
Helloooooow Bill Compton!
Brings back the days of reading Twilight for the first time… ah, memories!