Daily Mail shocked at Ipswich Daily Mail reader’s rant about foreigns

OMG can you believe it, there’s this woman, right, and she’s got a gob on her. A proper gob. She’s like everything Catherine Tate tried to be and worse, like, she’s got a real proper foul mouth, and she well hates the foreigns. I mean, not just hate, she really proper doesn’t like them foreign brown types coming over and ‘pleading poverty’ all the time because she pays taxes, like.

But how does this woman know all of this stuff? How does she have this information? I must say, she is one pretty well informed woman who knows all these things and she must be HIGH UP in government to have an idea of exactly how these browns are pleading poverty and having a pounds and pence impact upon our lives.

This unnamed woman, who probably reads the Daily Mail because, we are guessing, she is regurgitating the views of the Daily Mail word for word, like the ugly lobotomised female offspring of Melanie Phillips and Richard Littlecock, went ballistic at a brown in a hospital, saying “What has happened to this fucking country? We are paying taxes you arseholes and we are going down in this crisis”.

She even said it to a woman who’s paying £13,000 a year to keep our educational institutions afloat.

And the Daily Mail, bizarrely, appears relatively outraged by the fact that their readers are going out there, in public, saying what THEY are saying in front of browns and foreigns. They call it a ‘shocking rant’, not a lot unlike that cunt Richard Littlejohn in what he calls his ‘column’, but other people call ‘a spoonfed diet of bile and diarrhoea for the nation’s fuckwits to froth at the mouth about’. He wrote this piece of shit about Begging in Bulgaria or Benefits in Belgravia, because yes, that’s right, Bulgarians are about to invade Belgravia and take all your taxes.

I wonder if the Daily Mail is going to publish a piece saying how shocked it is about Richard Littlecock’s rant about scroungers from abroad coming to take our money. Again.

Now, then. Where to start? Well, let’s start by saying hello to our friends in Bulgaria and Romania. We, the non-Daily Mail readers (and that’s the majority of us) don’t think that you’re all gypsies. No, we don’t. We actually don’t believe that most of you are going to descend upon us and steal our money.

Most of us are quite rational, the thing is though, we’ve not quite got the coverage of the Daily Mail. So, we’re very sorry about them. And we’re also very sorry about the Brits who have invaded Bulgaria buying up houses in seaside or ski resorts and only occupying them about two days a year. We’re very sorry about them. They’re wankers. We don’t really want them, either.

We’re also sorry about our government who, having signed up to this thing called the European Union, think they can take the benefits of it and then make up rules as they go along. Sorry.

Next up, that woman in the hospital. We feel sorry for you. No, really, we do. We want to help. You see, if it weren’t for ‘them foreigns’, there would be nobody to help you get better at the hospital. There would be nobody to pick your strawberries, and nobody to clean your streets. There would be nobody to work in science labs to find cures for your illnesses, and there would be nobody to work in IT. Our universities would go under, as the foreigns are the ones that pay for them now.

There would be nobody to help sell copies of the Daily Mail, either. But let’s skim over that point.

If there’s a crisis, and we’re all going down, it’s because your government sees fit to reward millionaires with tax cuts, and its friends with chunks of the NHS and whatever else it can sell. To find that money, it’s taking it from everyone else, and pointing you in the direction of foreigns (via the Daily Mail). It’s a brilliant piece of deception, and you’ve fallen for it.

If, instead of giving tax cuts to its friends, and instead of letting its friends get away with not paying tax at all, it collected that money and used it properly, you wouldn’t have to worry about a crisis, and you wouldn’t have to blame foreigns and browns and stuff.

But this is all a bit complicated, isn’t it. You can’t digest that in a headline. So go ahead, blame the browns and the foreigns. They’ll just shake their heads at you, and go somewhere else. And that really would be a crisis.