Random Observations on Trump’s Speech to Congress Last Night

1. Let’s get this out of the way up top: President Donald Trump’s exploitation of Carryn Owens, the widow of Ryan Owens, a Navy SEAL who died in a fuck-up of a raid in Yemen, induced the kind of nausea you usually feel when you accidentally catch a glimpse of a pus-draining video. While anonymous “senior officials” (who could be Trump – really) argue over whether or not any decent intelligence was gotten from the raid (spoiler: they didn’t), it’s quite certain that Trump approved the raid on a whim (after President Obama wouldn’t for two years), sat on the shitter tweeting while it was underway, and then blamed the “generals” for Owens’ death. Instead of owning his mistake, Trump not only brought Carryn Owens into the spotlight, but milked the applause she got as she stood in the gallery next to the not-quite-human-looking Ivanka Trump, weeping and talking to the empty ceiling. “And Ryan is looking down right now. You know that,” Trump said to her, going off-script. “And he’s very happy, because I think he just broke a record.” You got that? Owens likely died in horribly in a shitty-planned raid for nothing, but, holy fuckballs, he might have gotten the longest applause in congressional speech history. (Note: he didn’t.) Narrative change successful.

1a. And if you thought it was a great moment or moving (except in how obviously still in pain and mourning Carryn Owens is – fuckin’ Ivanka couldn’t even manage a hug) or a credit to Trump, you are a fucking fool. Yeah, it tricked a lot of people, but that’s what the Devil does, that motherfucker.

2. I didn’t watch the speech. I’ve read it, watched some excerpts, and listened to others. So maybe that makes me immune to its charms, but, really, what a load of poorly-written horseshit, delivered by a man who sounded like a half-drunk resident of a home for senior citizens. I can’t figure out what was the worst part after the Owens crap: The pasted-on nods to the anti-Semitic acts that have occurred at cemeteries and Jewish community centers, the ludicrous amount of lies, the deluded view of the nation that he inherited from Barack Obama, the portrayal of terrorism run amok in the world and inner cities in ruin and public schools that may as well just be punching children right in the face, the proposals that ranged from laughably cruel (the new office of Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement) to the dangerously insane (the huge, unnecessary hike in defense spending), the pretense of helping working Americans when nearly every plan would wreck the economy, the health care system, and any social safety net. It’s just all too fucking much.

3. The post-speech praise he received from the mainstream media was just weird. It was like they watched a lunatic sit in a corner and polish a turd for a while, just rubbing and rubbing that same old shit to a fine shine, and instead of being disgusted that the lunatic was polishing a turd, they praised the lunatic for not throwing the shit at them for once. If that’s what passes for “presidential” in this fucked-up time we’re damned to experience, then Trump will be crowned emperor while the cowed media, afraid to appear biased, praise him for not executing too many of his enemies.

4. Trump finished the speech with “Believe in yourselves. Believe in your future. And believe, once more, in America.” Bitch, we did believe in our future in 2009. And your party clubbed our hope to death and raped its corpse. So you can go fuck yourself with your dreams.

Editor’s Note: This essay originally appeared on March 1, 2017, on The Rude Pundit, a website featuring commentary by Lee Papa. It was reproduced here with the consent of Mr. Papa.

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