This Is McDonald’s New Hamburglar… No, Really

At first glance, the above photo appears to be nothing more than a typical office drone dressing up for his company’s mandatory Halloween party. The truth however, is much different… and much much more sad.

The masked half-shaven gentlemen is actually McDonald’s new Hamburglar… you read that correctly. Gone is the chubby, single-toothed burger thief of our youth. He’s been replaced with a square-jawed, trench-coated metrosexual, who looks as though he only eats burgers that are grass-fed organic.

The introduction of the new mascot comes as McDonald’s sales plummet nationwide. And, we all know what happens when McDonald’s introduces a new mascot to peddle its foodstuffs… it winds up scaring the shit out of everyone.