Do We Treat Dogs The Same Way As Children In Our Families?

The line between dogs and children seems blurred in families.

A new online survey by Kelton Research, involving about 1000 people, shows that the status of dogs as family members is changing. It appears that in the minds of the Americans who responded to the survey, dogs are becoming more important as family members, particularly as children. Most recognize that this represents a change in attitude since nearly 60% believe that their dogs are currently more important in their lives than were the dogs that they had during their childhood days. Two out of three also feel that they are more caring and treat their pet dogs better than did their mother and father.

Perhaps the most striking thing to come out of this research is that the pet owners of today seem to blur the lines between children and pet dogs in many ways. For example, 81% of those surveyed consider their dogs to be true family members, equal in status to children. It appears that dogs have become such an important part of the family that 54% of Americans now consider themselves to be "pet parents" rather than "pet owners". Apparently this change in attitude seems to occur the moment that the dog joins the family.

That many families seem to equate dogs to children seems to be the major finding of the study. The research shows that pets have become such an important part of the family that more than half of the dog owners (58%) are comfortable using nicknames for themselves such as "Mommy" and "Daddy" when talking about themselves in reference to their dogs. In fact 35% even refer to their dog as "son" or "daughter". The idea that we are thinking about our dogs more like parents than pet owners is also supported by the fact that 10% of the dog owners celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day with their dog.

Dogs are often the target of conversation, with 77% of pet owners admitting that they talk to their pets as if they were family members. Furthermore, other research has shown that when we talk to our dogs we tend to use language and rhythms that are much the same as those that we use when talking to children. Following in this vein, psychologists have noted that it is quite common for parents to have two or more nicknames for their each of their children, which they tend to use in different situations. This survey shows that the same is true for dogs, with two thirds of the sample admitting that they had two or more nicknames that they used for their dog.

While dogs are treated like children in the matter of communicating with them, there is more important evidence suggesting that dogs have been elevated beyond the status of mere animals into true family members who not only have the same rights and entitlement to affection that children do, but also have the same obligations. Thus nearly 72% of dog owners who have children seem to apply the same disciplinary standards to the dogs as they do with their kids. Yet, although they may be disciplined, these pet dogs are also given special privileges and prerogatives in the home. The results indicate that 62% of the dogs have their own chair, sofa, or bed.

The parallel between the way that children and dogs are treated is reinforced by the fact that 81% of dog parents know their pets' birthdays. In addition 77% have celebrated this occasion by buying him or her a present to mark that day. In addition 74% of pet parents said that they like to share at least one meal with their dogs each day, with three quarters of them choosing dinner as their favorite. Dinner is also, of course, the traditional time for families and children to spend time together.

It is easy to recognize that you are dealing with proud parents when you walk into their home. This is because there are pictures of the children that are prominently displayed. Again, we find that dogs are now being treated similarly. On average dog owners have about seven photos of their dogs displayed in their homes or offices. Also 23% of pet parents have a photo album dedicated to only pictures of their dogs, and 16% have started scrapbooks for their pets. Furthermore, in much the same way that parents can seldom be found without a photograph of their children with them at all times, 71% of pet owners admit that they have at least one picture of their dog that they carry with them.

Analysis of the intimate and casual conversations between members of a couple shows that, when they are parents, they tend to speak a lot about their children. According to this survey, dogs, much like children, tend to occupy a large portion of the conversations of couples. For example, 79% say that they talk more about their dogs than about politics, while 55% discuss topics that include their dog more than topics concerning their human friends, and 48% say that they talk more about their dog than their jobs. Perhaps a bit of a surprise is the fact that 57% say that they and their partners spend more time chatting about their dogs than about sex.

The reason for this change in status, with dogs becoming virtual children, is not directly addressed by the survey. It is likely however, that one reason might be because more North American couples are childless, or have fewer children. Another probable factor is that with increasing life spans, parents suffer from a sort of "Empty Nest Syndrome" for a longer period of time while they get to watch their children move away, perhaps to another city or a distant locale. In such cases it is likely that dogs can serve to satisfy our need to nurture, in much the way that human offspring do. In that way we come to view them, and to treat them, as the children who are not currently there in our family.

My wife is one of those people who says the dog is family. I put it like this, if the dog dies before work ill bury him out back and head to work. If my child dies, I don't even want to imagine how bad I'll be.

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As Americans, I think we’ve become accustomed to the amount of attention that owners generally give their pets these days, so that bit isn’t so surprising. What is surprising – at least to me - is the language used in the survey, or maybe it’s the wording of the results. Understanding that the folks responding to a survey like this aren’t going to be a random sample of Americans or even random pet owners, we can give some leeway to account for the ‘enthusiasm’ element of their responses. Even so, it is still surprising that 81% (EIGHTY ONE!) would convey equal ‘status’ to their dogs and children. Really? As a dog owner (Vizsla), I know that he has his own unique personality and we have a close bond, yet I am also able to discern that the humans in my family (pack) are something profoundly different… even when the humans can act beastly at times! Are these owners suggesting that, in the case of an accident, they would have a difficult time deciding whom to help first - Susie or Fido?

What could possibly be meant by ‘using the same disciplinary standards’ for their children and dogs? Are they saying that they restrict Fido’s TV privileges when he doesn’t fetch the ball? Does it mean that we ask him politely to not jump on the kitchen table?

What do the 74% of owners (i.e. those who answered that they like to ‘share a meal’ with their dog) understand ‘sharing’ a meal to mean? Does this mean that Fido gets his kibble at the same time as the family, or that he gets a seat at the table next to little Susie? Does the dinner table discussion include Fido taking his turn to tell everyone about digging that hole under the back fence while chasing the squirrel? And does he go before or after Susie?

I guess I was more than a little surprised to see just how much our American (/Western) society has moved in this direction.

Would it be possible to get a copy of the report itself? I searched around a bit on the Internet and I wasn’t able to find it.

Thank you for this article. I know that I definitely treat my pets differently than my children. Although my kids absolutely loved our dog that passed away about six months ago. I had a paw prints memorial plaque made that they keep in their playroom. Hopefully we will get a new dog soon, and hopefully they love it as much as our last dog.

In our family, dogs are regarded as little children. They deserve the same regard as children, and the same love. Their feelings are taken into account, and they are also expected to be polite and cooperative. It is interesting to see how one poster regarded a dog as an "it." This speaks volumes. How about "him" or "her" in referring to the dog? One should look to the study done at Emory University by Dr. Gregory Berns. Dr. Berns' study proves the cognition of a dog is like that of a small child. Only by regarding dogs as individuals will this society work towards empathy toward all living creatures. It was not too long ago in history that children were considered the property of their parents, who had a right to turn the children out onto the street or sent to factories to earn their keep.

Question: Does your dog eat meat? Do you and your family? If so, I assume you know where the meat comes from, right? It comes from other living creatures we are supposed to have all this empathy for. How odd that our society can be so empathetic towards certain animals and give no thought to the deaths of others. Hypocrisy?

I hate when humans belittle nonhuman animals as children. It is getting really tiresome. I love all animals. I rescued two cats from a prison-like shelter. They like my family members or best friends and I treat them as equals. People need to stop exploiting and fetishizing nonhuman animals. "pet ownership" should be banned.

"Belittle?" I would say that putting an animal in equal status of importance to one's own child is a promotion of status for them. I personally would never regard an animal as more important then a human being, especially a young one. What I'm even more confused about is how you say we are "fetishizing" them. You really think that many people are aroused by a dog?? That's just disgusting.

When I have spoken of our dogs not liking carrots or liking bananas, chicken and apples, people think I am taking about human children. (Yes, we do feed a home-cooked diet to our dogs.) Then I say, "She really dislikes being put into a crate when we travel," and people get surprised, realizing my daughter is a dog. Being treated with love and respect will go a long way with an intelligent living creature. They respond with a childlike sweetness of precious love and trust.

I love all animals. In fact, I'm a vegetarian because I respect the life of all creatures. BUT, I just don't get the over-the-top "attachment" (for lack of a better term) that a lot of dog owners have vis-a-vis their dog. Yes, I've heard the "he's my child" reference from one girl friend. And this other friend I had (also female) would commute from work every day at noon to feed her dog and check in on the dog. I suppose, it seems ridiculous to me that ones life can revolve around your pet. I've had dogs as pets before- as a child growing up-- and they were very important parts of my life but I suppose my parents never thought of them as "children" and there's nothing wrong with that.

I have found that more women treat dogs as children than men do. But I am a woman, and personally, when I hear that sort of talk, it makes me want to stick my finger down my throat and gag. It's truly out of hand. We need to step back, take a deep breath and realize that a dog is an ANIMAL and doesn't feel the same way about things as we do. But many people "project" their thoughts and feelings into the animal as though they cannot tell the difference between a person and an animal.

Only Americans can be so cynical to equate an animal to a child. So, if you had a choice of saving your dog vs. your own child, you would save your dog? If you chose the dog, please give your child to adoption and see a psychiatrist.

So i know this is an old post (really old actually) but i figured why not. So i recently started staying at my fiancées house as we'll be married in about a week and i have been very clear about the dog sleeping with us. She has a dog (little fur ball) that she has slept with literally cradled in her arms every night for the past 5 years. The thing is, i told her hes ok at the foot of the bed, i don’t mind him on the bed if hes there and i had been telling her for 3 months to start training him but she jokingly would refuse to do so. Last night, we had an argument about it because she put the dog on my pillows and then cheered him on and got upset because i told her she was reinforcing the idea that its ok to sleep there (which it is most def not) so then she got upset, picked up the dog and slept in the guest room with him. How i took it - she chose the dog over me. I'm not opposed to the dog, i actually like him, but the sleeping arrangement is troublesome for me. Should i be concerned about this? She is your typical "this is my fur child" "it’s like taking care of a baby". The baby one irks me, i see dogs as dogs not as human equivalents, especially since i love children and we've (sisters/family) had miscarriages in our family so children are of high value (as they should be) in my eyes.

Yep, you should DEFINITELY be concerned about it! The dog is coming between you and your...wife? It's only gonna get worse, and personally, I would be highly offended if I was in your place. She cares more for the dog than you, obviously. If you DID marry her, I truly feel sorry for you!

I would like to ask some questions of those who say they treat their dogs like family: Do you put your children or spouse on a leash and walk them out in the yard so they can poop and pee? Or did you potty train your dog to use the toilet? Do you set a chair and place setting at the table for your dog? Do you always feed the dog the same food as the children and spouse? Or do you put dog dishes down on the floor and you and your spouse and children eat dog food from them? Do you put your children and spouse on leases to take them anywhere? If transporting your spouse and children, do you put them in crates or cages? If you can say "no" to any of these questions, you aren't treating your dog like family.

I definitely agree that there is a noticeable, growing popularization in substituting "fur babies" for human children. The author describes this substitution as attempting to fill the void of once occupied by the children of "empty nesters," which makes a lot of sense because they miss their kids.

I feel it's a lot more serious of a problem, and less of simple remark on American culture. More and more people are equating having pets to raising children. Equating means that they actually believe that having a pet is as difficult, and on an equal plane as having a child. This perceived parallel is very disturbing to me, not only because I have children, but also because I see this belief as being very delusional and somewhat psychotic.

The growing trend for couples to simply purchase/adopt/"rescue" a pet in an attempt to move forward in their domestic lives is alarming. The psychological relief that having a pet brings a couple is not complete. Couples are meant to have children and further the human species ( and the family).

I can go on and on with this topic but I don't get paid to write articles for a living ;)

Lucas P, sometimes I wonder if the substitution of dogs (especially) for human companionship might be a control issue. People who do “go to the dogs”, so to speak, usually say the dog “loves them unconditionally”. Well, one thing I know: The dog can’t talk back. The dog can’t argue with them. Even when clothes are put on them (which I think is the most foolish, ridiculous thing I have ever seen). Those people who substitute a dog for a child or human companionship is actually thrusting their dog into an unnatural role it wasn’t meant to fulfill. They are turning their dog into a child/baby doll. And like I said, the poor dog can’t talk back or argue. Yeah, I think it’s at least partly a control issue.

Like i've known allot people that put their dog first . Because it's there baby . But when we talk about treating dogs like children it seem harmless but when you think about people really might need help ? I've seen people go if my dog doesn't like xyz or if my dog isn't allowed i'm not going ? Similar to if a child . But is that truly healthy to give a place that a dog can't go ? To take it a step further . I've know people to put their dog first in relationship and cause for breaks up and marriages . ( Same as children sometimes do in some cases . Yes I know it's never the child fault but lets be honest in some case the cause of caring for your child and not your marriage is truly an issue . When someone comes with a child first great but not caring to spouse is an issue ) But now its dog first . Like when is someone going to start looking into the fact that most people are truly longing for an unconditional love and over projecting this in the one that give it at the bare minimum and go hey it's not healthy. Because call me crazy a parent will die for their child and I know lot of fur parents that will die for their children . That's not healthy . WE're turning dog and cat into thing they were never supposed to be . Children and next doesn't this mean we devalue children ? Because i'm a keep it a stack with you . I wouldn't die for my dog at all but would die for my kid . More importantly children are supposed to be loved and trained for the world to make it better that is the purpose of a child . Not to sit stay and be there when we get home.

Children are ALWAYS more important than their pets are. I learned growing up that as horrible as it was to loose a pet, it was the worst thing when the pet was more important than the child. Since human life is having less and less value, people need to ask themselves why people are more reliant on pets, drugs, and fun for happiness and not the people that need them.