comics & poems from a human

inkblort #86

“I had my own BMW when I was your age you know,” Dad boasts as I drive crookedly out of our garage.

“An old one that didn’t work?” I ask with a grin.

He grins back. “It worked fine. It even had a steering wheel.”

“Ooh!”

“Just drive, punk,” Dad laughs. “I’m saying I have a lot of experience. I could be a good teacher.”

We start a crawl around the neighbourhood. I had to wait till the summer for this first drive. Dad keeps a Batman-shaped thermometer hanging off the rear-view mirror, and he said if it’s under 29 Celsius, I’m not allowed to use the car.

“You’re a girl, right?” he asks.

“Yes, Dad.”

He cradles the Batman thermometer in his hand and points the head at me. “Batman saves girls. Boys too, but he enjoys it less.”

“Is that my first driving lesson?”

Dad snorts. “Yes, actually! I’m just saying keep an eye on this. If you’re not sweating, it’s not safe. This car dies easy if it isn’t hot.”

“Aw, why can’t we get a new car already?”

“No thanks,” Dad scoffs. “It wouldn’t have character.”

“You could kick it a few times. That builds character.”

Dad chuckles and releases the thermometer, watching it swing. “Mom tried that on you and it didn’t work.”

I smirk while we turn a corner. But I’m going too slow. An old man with a new hat passes us and speeds off, honking at me like a big metal goose.