Two friends are going to weddings out of town, western NY and Mass, both are cash bars, bride's & groom's families are both loaded from my understanding. My friends are a bit taken back and feel it is tacky and borderline rude. I've never been to a cash bar wedding in my life (roughly 20 weddings) and doing a quick Google I see it is quite a long standing debate, of which I had no idea.

WTF?

Appears to be a regional thing. Most comments I've seen claim it is SOP on the east coast.

My gut reaction to such an invite would be, sorry Charlie not attending.

Criminals in this town used to believe in things...honor, respect."I heard your dog is sick, so bought you this shovel"

FUDU wrote:Two friends are going to weddings out of town, western NY and Mass, both are cash bars, bride's & groom's families are both loaded from my understanding. My friends are a bit taken back and feel it is tacky and borderline rude. I've never been to a cash bar wedding in my life (roughly 20 weddings) and doing a quick Google I see it is quite a long standing debate, of which I had no idea.

WTF?

Appears to be a regional thing. Most comments I've seen claim it is SOP on the east coast.

My gut reaction to such an invite would be, sorry Charlie not attending.

I'd like shallow over reactions for $500 Alex. Good God man, don't go because you hate Massholes, or you can't afford the grossly overpriced hotels in NYC or you don't want to drive the 8 hours or the fact they don't have Chipotle - you don't not go to an East Coast wedding because of a cash bar.

Now, if the reception is on the GoodTime III or at the Irish American club in North Olmstead and it's a cash bar, then fuck 'em.

I don't need to be patient, they're going to be shit forever. - CDT, discussing my favorite NFL team

If I found out that it was a cash bar, I'd definitely lower my gift cost. There are certain expectations when going to a wedding. An open bar, IMO, is one of them. You save money on some bullshit like monogrammed napkins and get some hooch. And if there's money in the family and it's a cash bar...well, then I'm with wabo.

A God Damn dead man would understand that if a minor league bus in any city took a real sharp right turn, a Zack McCalister would likely fall out. - Lead Pipe

Unless the wedding is within walking distance, or it's a really, really good friend, no way do I go.

They want you to drive long distances, pay for hotels and pay for a gift without buying you a beer for the effort? No way.

I attended a dry wedding 8 hours away over Christmas. It was a good friend, in a place I have wanted to visit and a small wedding (family mostly) so I didn't mind, but I'm of the opinion it needs to be a big F'n party.

Hell, skimp on the food, DJ, pictures, reception hall, tuxes, limos and even the bride, but don't kill the party. There needs to be a beverage involved.

Dry weddings are awful. One of my best friends from work got married a few years ago, her husband does not drink and so neither could any of us. A couple hours into the reception a distinct number of us went to the hotel bar and got loaded.

But back to the cash/open bar debate. I say it depends. If the couple is truly on a budget, and you can tell this by the rest of the wedding- size, food, etc,- then I would respect that aspect and be fine with paying. However, if the couple has the finances and they are just being cheap, well then that's pretty lame.

And dry weddings....Christ. The nonsense that you have to endure while attending weddings....the annoying fucking kid that won't get off the dance floor, the supposedly funny cake in the face, the garter toss in which the uncle who's as goofy as a shit house rooster snags the garter and creepily has to put it on your 14 year old niece that caught the bouquet.....to have to put up with this shit stone sober is enough to make you go out and suck exhaust from the limo.

Been to one, and the hotel bar had 75% of the guests in hit wire to wire.

I've been to a couple where beer and standard mixed drinks are included, but if you want to hit the Patron, it'll cost ya. Maybe it's from a family of alcoholics where the guys are all at the bar and the women all dance, but it's just tacky. Religious or financial reasons, I get it.

The only full cash bar I've been to was in S. Florida at a pretty nice oceanside hotel where it was expected that everyone was oozing hundred dollar bills, big Italian wedding. The local bishop presided, and I asked him after the service that I thought Catholics weren't supposed to have wedding masses (not just service) at secular establishments, he told me there was a pretty good reason (donation).

My girl at the time and I hit a happy hour bar down the road between wedding and reception and it cost us about $50 for just about all we could handle, or what would have been three mixed drinks at the hotel.

I was the best man at a dry wedding. Not a great experience. I brought a flask into the reception, but it wasn't big enough or strong enough. The average age of the people in the room was probably 60. One table cracked up at my jokes (the table where the other 20-somethings where sitting). Everybody else was silent and motionless. I was annoyed at how dead the room was so I closed the speech by toasting to the bride/groom and then toasting to "America, the greatest country on God's green Earth". My buddy (the groom) loved it but it pissed his wife off, but I don't like her anyway so who cares.

My friends spent the first half of the reception drinking out in the car. They didn't tell me they went out there. I asked them why later. They said they didn't want me getting smashed and cursing or being an embarrassment during the speech. Probably was smart on their part.

The ceremony itself was bad too. It was in a church that didn't have A/C. In the middle of July. High of 96 w/some humidity that day. And they made us show up to get dressed at 10am for a 3:30pm ceremony. One of the bridesmaids passed out. We had gone to bed at 7am the morning before so we were goin on about 2 hours of sleep.

"And three of the better guys in franchise history, Daugherty, Z and now Kyrie could get hurt in a rubber room full of cotton balls." - Leadpipe

Donny, It's Protestants. Why do you think we had to blow them to smitereens for all those years?

Jokes man, jokes.

But seriously. you'd NEVER see any sort of bloodline that leads back to ethnic Catholics even fathom a cash bar, but you get the tea totteler Protestants and yaeh, not uncommmon.

My advice is to go man. And show up with like a case of keystones or busch or blatz or some realy aweful shit and just plop that mofo dead center on your table. Better yet, a dirty beat to crap cooler loaded with shit beer. Put the centerpiece on top. N'joy the reaction when the B & G walk by the table to say "hi" and thank you for coming (or will they skip that, too?) Be sure to ask her when the dollar dance starts caue you don't want to miss it.

Statement.

Have a backup in your car trunk for when all the normal people come over to the party central of the reception. Who knows, you might even meet a woman?

leadpipe wrote: The nonsense that you have to endure while attending weddings....the annoying fucking kid that won't get off the dance floor, the supposedly funny cake in the face, the garter toss in which the uncle who's as goofy as a shit house rooster snags the garter and creepily has to put it on your 14 year old niece that caught the bouquet.....to have to put up with this shit stone sober is enough to make you go out and suck exhaust from the limo.

Epic, Piper.

I hate wedding receptions. Entails like 2 of the things I hate most in life: dancing and pretending to give a shit about boring people (ecen worse if relatives or in laws) I could care less about. Only thing that counterbalances is drinking if you have a driver or a room.

jb wrote:I hate wedding receptions. Entails like 2 of the things I hate most in life: dancing and pretending to give a shit about boring people (ecen worse if relatives or in laws) I could care less about. Only thing that counterbalances is drinking if you have a driver or a room.

Hate all of it. Hate the speeches, the receiving line, the dollare dance, the Hockey Pokey, the line dancing. Most of all I hate the whole garter/bouquet toss situation. When I was single having the bridal party insist you go to the dance floor to be a part of it. I just stoodd behind people with eiother my hands in my pockets or on the back of the guy/kid in front of me. Once that garter was airborn, give the little guy a puch in the direction it's falling, feign disappointment I wasn't lucky enough to catch it, then head back to the bar/table.

I tried really hard to have this excluded from our wedding and my wife was on board until my mother and the MiL both insisted on tradition. Felt like the biggest idiot in the room having the dj play some risque music while I go "hunting" for the garter. Couldn't get that over with soon enough.

No cash bar for us either. We had a good bar with just below top shelf liquor. However we knew the bartender and the GM of the facility and they used top shelf whenever me or my bride would get a drink for ourselves and whoever we wanted to drink with us. Our DJ also went against the grain and actually played music that we requested. 99% of the usual wedding reception playlist was not allowed.

Galley Boys are slop on top of a so-so burger and a bun you coulde get from a Covneninet food mart generic pack. They the Antoine Joubert of burgers; soft, sloppy, oozing grease and cheap sauce and extremely overrated by a biased fan base. Proof that if you throw enough cheap sauce shit on a burger you still can't overcome the lame burger. -JB

I think the best man should always cite the statistics that 50%+ of all marriages fail, let it sink in, then take a quarter, flip it in the air and let it land on the head table just for effect.

Then he should look at the coin, lower his head, purse his lips, look gloomily at the happy couple and slither off to the bar after ending his 'speech' by telling the bride and groom , "Hey, the odds are in your favor on your next one."

But I'm a romantic...just who I am.

Larvell Blanks wrote:

jb wrote:I hate wedding receptions. Entails like 2 of the things I hate most in life: dancing and pretending to give a shit about boring people (ecen worse if relatives or in laws) I could care less about. Only thing that counterbalances is drinking if you have a driver or a room.

Hate all of it. Hate the speeches, the receiving line, the dollare dance, the Hockey Pokey, the line dancing. Most of all I hate the whole garter/bouquet toss situation. When I was single having the bridal party insist you go to the dance floor to be a part of it. I just stoodd behind people with eiother my hands in my pockets or on the back of the guy/kid in front of me. Once that garter was airborn, give the little guy a puch in the direction it's falling, feign disappointment I wasn't lucky enough to catch it, then head back to the bar/table.

I tried really hard to have this excluded from our wedding and my wife was on board until my mother and the MiL both insisted on tradition. Felt like the biggest idiot in the room having the dj play some risque music while I go "hunting" for the garter. Couldn't get that over with soon enough.

No cash bar for us either. We had a good bar with just below top shelf liquor. However we knew the bartender and the GM of the facility and they used top shelf whenever me or my bride would get a drink for ourselves and whoever we wanted to drink with us. Our DJ also went against the grain and actually played music that we requested. 99% of the usual wedding reception playlist was not allowed.

leadpipe wrote: The nonsense that you have to endure while attending weddings....the annoying fucking kid that won't get off the dance floor, the supposedly funny cake in the face, the garter toss in which the uncle who's as goofy as a shit house rooster snags the garter and creepily has to put it on your 14 year old niece that caught the bouquet.....to have to put up with this shit stone sober is enough to make you go out and suck exhaust from the limo.

Pipe: That was Brian's wedding and I didn't put a garter on a 14-year old girl..............It was Mike Barker in a wig..........I think

My wife (then girlfriend) and I would leave the reception area whenever the garter toss/bouquet throw was announced. The most BS "tradition" of all of the traditional parts of a wedding reception and the most creepy. I still don't watch it and I roll my eyes when it's announced, but now we don't have to run and hide from all the idiots trying to pull us onto the floor.

FUDU wrote:Matt will feel better now knowing I'm in the extreme minorty on this.

I don't know what I feel right now. Cash bar at Manakiki? Count me out.

But East Coast weddings (been to 'em in Philly, Saddle River NJ, and Groton) are the bomb. Roadie, everyone is in a celebratory mood, press the limit, hit on some strange, what's not to love? Usually I was so fucked up on alternative, holistic medicine, I didn't need an open bar.

Times have changed. Obviously.

ETA - Kids today are way to focused on getting 'yer drink on. There are alternative methods of self medication. Which back in the day was why open/cash bar didn't matter. Although I do appreciate the Martin Luther aspect to the modern day wedding. Just sayin'.

I don't need to be patient, they're going to be shit forever. - CDT, discussing my favorite NFL team

mattvan1 wrote:But East Coast weddings (been to 'em in Philly, Saddle River NJ, and Groton) are the bomb. Roadie, everyone is in a celebratory mood, press the limit, hit on some strange, what's not to love?

mattvan1 wrote:But East Coast weddings (been to 'em in Philly, Saddle River NJ, and Groton) are the bomb. Roadie, everyone is in a celebratory mood, press the limit, hit on some strange, what's not to love?

I don't care WHAT your preference is in your home life..if you are a teetotaler, recovering, then so be it, but you are THROWING A PARTY AND EXPECTING GIFTS. When throwing a party (which a reception is) you play to your GUESTS, not yourself. Not having ANY alchohol, or making people pay for their alchohol is a freaking joke.

Most weddings have at least a few out of towners, to make them pay for travel, hotel, AND expect a gift WITHOUT an open bar is just plain wrong to me. Next you will be charging them for their food. Even beer and wine only is a joke. If you can't afford it, don't have a reception, do a destination wedding instead and have a party at your house or something when you get back.

I've DJd 100's of weddings over the years and once in a while I'll get the priveledge of working for a couple that goes dry, cash, or B & W only...those receptions are ALWAYS painful. They arr over WAY before they are supposed to be, with me playing the last hour or so for the workers at the hall and a few guests that clearly had a secret stash.