Nebraska Newlyweds Arrested For Consummating Their Marriage At A Playground

When Miaya Smith and Saint Ramirez Jr. got married in a small ceremony at a Nebraska park, they were excited about it. Like, really excited. Like, really excited in their pants. So they did what any blissful, horny newlywed couple would have done: they ducked behind a tree in full view of their wedding guests, a public pool, and a playground, and started humping. When three teenagers alerted a police officer to the public sexytimes (sidenote: most virtuous teenagers ever), the officer pulled his patrol car up right next to the copulating couple, but even the presence of the po-po couldn’t dampen their amour. “Miaya had her pants off and her buttocks exposed [and she] was moving in an up-and-down motion on Saint,” the officer wrote in his report. He had to order the couple to stop having sex three times to convince Miaya to dismount her new hubby, before finally arresting them and hauling them off to spend their honeymoon in jail. Say it with me now: aw, young love! [Daily Mail]

Leolah Brown, sister to Bobby Brown and aunt to Bobbi Kristina was kicked out of her niece’s funeral yesterday after verbally lashing at Pat Houston Bobbi Kristina’s former manager as well as sister-in-law to Bobbi Kristina’s mother Whitney Houston. Phew. That was a mouthful.