You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.

A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.

You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread love bug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma...Irene...Cheryl...Rita Mary..Alison

You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

'Down South' means Key WestFlip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine,
while ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass
fire ant castles in the grass.
Bless the garage, a home to please
carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
in Florida , Lord, you've put them all!!
But this is home, and here we'll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

******************
HOLD IT.............there's more................

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN Florida IN JULY WHEN...

~ The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

~ The trees are whistling for the dogs.

~ The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

~ Hot water now comes out of both taps.

~ You can make sun tea instantly.

~ You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

~ The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

~ You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

~ You discover you can get sunburned through your car window.

~ You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

~ You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

~ Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

~ You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

~ The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.

~ Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
boiled eggs.

~ The cows are giving evaporated milk.

............Ah, what a place to call home
With the heat and oppressive humidity today outside of Boston...I'll stick to Mass.

On a serious note. Hawkeye can you tell us what are the best things about living in Florida?

TM

Once I get close to the coast, that's where it is for me. Love the tang of salt air. Love the fresh fruits grown in state. Strawberries, oranges, watermellons. Get them fresh off the truck within hours of being picked. And of course, I have 5 cruise ports in driving distance.

Talk to me when it's been 10 years. :-p Heh, I'm a weird transplant. My father enlisted into the USAF out of Miami back in 1959 and has been all over since. I lived in Tallahassee briefly in the late 90s for about 9 months, then bounced a bit, but after coming to Orlando in 02, haven't left. Don't see myself leaving any time soon either. Just gonna eventually find myself further south and east.