Thursday, June 9, 2011

Epic Pee

Exhibit A

I not sure anyone actually believes me when I say Rocket pee's would make an elephant proud. Please, you non-believers, refer to exhibit A. Note the vinegar-water spray bottle and the roll of paper towels back by Callie's bed. That was the length of the pee. For real, it was a steady stream. You can't really see with the floors, but there is also a giant puddle near the corner of the couch, and he managed to get a decent sized puddle on Cal's bed as well. HE WAS JUST OUTSIDE. I took him for a nice long walk before it got too hot outside and this is the thanks I get?

Off to the kennel with yee!

I'm a sad little devil dog

It all started when we got home from the walk. We all ate our breakfasts. Everything was going rather fine. But Rocket was being super annoying. He tends to follow along behind me everywhere I go, so close that I generally trip over him. Our lives together are filled with the phrases "Rocket man, please go lie down in your bed." "All the way Rocket." "No that's Callie's bed, I said your bed." "No, actually lay down, I can see you!" "Good, now stay!" "I SAID STAY" "Rocket please just GO LIE DOWN"

I was going through one of these delightful conversations but he was being extra bad. When he's not listening to my verbal commands, I'll generally walk with him to his bed so he gets the point. I started walking, he started doing these stupid circles around the kitchen and hallway like he suddenly had no idea how to walk in a straight line. I ended up just picking him up and putting him in his bed. "Stay" I told him. He stood up. "LAY DOWN!!" I said. He did so, but in the slowest way possible, one little doggie toe at a time. By now, I have a feeling he's just screwing with me. I'm better then that, I thought. I refused to let this tiny dog send me into a fit of rage. I was | | that close to locking him in his kennel, but he had this angelic expression on his face. I had finally broken him, I thought. He felt my frustration mounting and was giving up before I set him free into the wilderness of the big city.

All went well for about three, maybe four minutes. I was cleaning up in the kitchen, thinking about how well things were going when BAM, I stepped on that damn dog again. At this point I was pretty close to what some may call enraged so I yelled in my toughest mean voice "GET IN YOUR (*#^&$ BED!!!" which set him running and me taking deep breaths. That was it, it was time for a doggie time out in the kennel. As I go to lock him up, I step in pee. Of course, some would be inclined to get more angry at this point. I'll admit to being hella-angry but I also felt bad. He's generally so good with his peeing when it's just me and I obviously scared the pee right out of him. I walked over, jumping over puddles here and there, didn't look at him, just locked his kennel door and got out the good old vinegar.

He's cute, sometimes...

I know he's a stubborn little terrier jerk face, but how many times must I:

1.) accidentally kick him or step on him

2.) accidentally open cupboard doors/dishwasher/closet into his face

3.) tell him to go lay down, catch him getting up, and repeat over and over and over

..until he gets it? Maybe all the kicking and door opening has given him brain damage. I think I'm pretty darn consistent. I always follow through with my commands. He does listen, at least I think he attempts to listen. Like he'll go half way to his bed, or he'll sit in his bed for .56 seconds and hop out and come right back to being underfoot.

Alas, I know he has his problems, but he is improving. Then he does cute things like this (I only managed to catch a few seconds, but he was doing it for quite a long time):

I actually caught Callie doing that on our bed last night. She didn't see me at first, but froze when I turned on the light. Caught in the act she did her apologetic hyper fit, where she runs around in circles, wiggling her butt, and jumping up to give kisses. Oh how I love that dog.