Monday, March 31, 2008

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy filling our Happy Underpants with Rich, Creamy Goodness™! (Jeepers! this goodness is much richer and creamier than I thought!) In the meantime you can watch this swell video of the acrobats of the Great Chinese State Circus performing Swan Lake. Princess Odette does a pirouette right on Prince Siegfried's head! (Ouch! I've seen Ms. Gregarious do a pirouette on a guy's head before, but when she did it there was lot more blood.)

Last night on Turner Classic Movies played the Hitchcock film, "Notorious", a WWII spy thriller set in Rio de Janeiro. I had seen it once before, many years ago.

In the film, I thought that Cary Grant's character, T. R. Devlin, was a total dickhead. As a mater of fact, all of the Americans in the film were sanctimonious, holier-than-thou dickheads. From the very beginning of the film Grant's character is looking down his nose at the "loose" morals and carefree lifestyle of Ingrid Bergman's character. He says that he loves her in the beginning of the story, but treats her like dirt throughout the rest of the film.

On the other hand, It was difficult not to fall in love with Ingrid Bergman's character: fun-loving, German-born, daughter-of-a-convicted-Nazi Alicia Huberman. Her provocative romantic scenes were naughty fräulein, double-agent delicious!

And you had to love the Nazis. The Nazis were great! My favorite scene (part 6) was after one of the mousier Nazis, Emil Hupka, accidentally tips off Alicia Huberman to an important clue as to their nefarious plans at a dinner party. The other Nazis plot his demise behind his back over coffee and cigars in a wonderfully cold and calculated fashion. (Nazi Eric Mathis has a special road trip for Emil all worked out... "Nonsense! I'd love to go. Come on, Emil...")

Later in the film Huberman (Ingrid Bergman) marries the head Nazi (Claude Rains as Alexander Sebastian) to get information that will help the Americans. Devlin (Cary Grant) gets all weepy and pouty with jealousy. The ensuing Ménage à trois left me wanting to rescue Ingrid Bergman from both the evil Nazi Claude Rains and the sanctimonious Cary Grant.

Once Claude Rains figures out that Ingrid Bergman is an American spy, he goes to pieces. He is not afraid of the Americans, but his fellow Nazis! He fears that he will share the same fate as poor Emil Hupka did at the hands of Eric Mathis.

And who helps the evil mastermind out of this jam? His dear old mother! She gets the idea to slowly poison Ingrid Bergman so that no one will suspect the reason for her demise. (It's so deliciously Morticia Addams!)

Hitchcock is often accused of being misogynistic towards women in his films, but in "Notorious" the women are not only the strongest characters - they are also the most likable. (How can you not love a mother that helps you poison your wife so that your Nazi henchmen won't kill you?)

Claude Rains was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for the film, but I don't think he was a very believable evil mastermind - and he just looked kind of short and old as Ingrid Bergman's husband. I think he was far better as Vichy Police Captain Louis Renault in the film "Casablanca".

In the beginning of the film, Bergman's character prophetically says this about Grant's characters patriotism: "Waving the flag with one hand and picking pockets with the other, that's your 'patriotism'". (good line! Gotta make a note...)

This post is in response to the many sports related posts that I see cropping up on the blogosphere from bloggers such as Randal Graves [ 1,2,3 ] and Dr. Monkerstein. (Randal has even made sports part of his blog template.)

I find that I am lacking a certain something when it comes to reading or commenting on these sports related posts. It was not a lack knowledge of these sports on my part that poses a problem, as my ignorance on any issue has never stopped me from making very opinionated statements on an entire range of subjects in the past. No, what was lacking on my part was... Interest.

I find that most sports that I read about on the blogosphere leave me quite disinterested. I am not saying that watching grunting, sweaty men playing with their balls is not of interest to some - clearly there is an audience for that sort of thing. I am just attempting to point out that there is a sport that is far more interesting and exciting than this standard media fare. I am speaking of course of women's volleyball!

Even with only a rudimentary knowledge of the rules of the game, I find that I am still captivated by the vigorous serves, lively rallying and brightly colored costumes. I believe that the game far superior to any of the sports I commonly see discussed on the internet. The game is so captivating, I don't even bother to keep score!

Friday, March 28, 2008

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious is helping me do some 45 caliber "persuasion" on some of Dr. Monkerstein's surrogates who are trying to strong arm pledge delegates into voting against the wishes of their state caucuses. Then we're off to the convention! In the meantime you can watch this swell cartoon of William Shatner singing "Lucy in the sky with diamonds!"(This is one of my favorite videos ever!)

GRAHAM:Senator Lieberman, I think, is a national treasure, because no matter how you feel about his politics, he was willing to risk everything, politically, for a cause he believed in. But to see the interaction between these two guys and world leaders was something special. [...]

I think John McCain will be a reassuring presence to the world. … It really was a smile on people's faces, knowing that if this guy got to be president, I think we could do business with him. … I think he's a reassuring presence. Doesn't mean that they prefer John over Obama or Senator Clinton, but there's a level of comfort there. [...]

Q: But some probably do prefer him, don't they?

GRAHAM: Oh, I would think, but no one told us. No one had a McCain sticker on their desk. Think Progress

Pat Buchanan: First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

(Rev. Jeremiah) Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American.

Second, no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans. Untold trillions have been spent since the '60s on welfare, food stamps, rent supplements, Section 8 housing, Pell grants, student loans, legal services, Medicaid, Earned Income Tax Credits and poverty programs designed to bring the African-American community into the mainstream. Think Progress via Pam's House Blend

They grow up so fast, don't they? It seems like only yesterday they were stealing lunch money from their classmates, and the next thing you know they are supplying outdated, substandard munitions to our allies in Afghanistan, with a $300 million contract from the Pentagon!

last January the Pentagon awarded a federal contract worth as much as nearly $300 million to AEY Inc., a company that operates out of an unmarked office in Miami Beach. AEY Inc. became the main supplier of munitions to Afghanistan's army and police forces.

The company's president was 22-year-old Efraim E. Diveroli, a 22-year-old man. Get to know him on MySpace!

After the Times began asking questions about the suspicious contract, the Army suspended the company from future contract efforts. The Associated Press confirms that the company's contracts have been suspended because it shipped Chinese-made ammunition "in violation of its contract and US law." Raw Story, via Crooks and Liars.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I know of one woman that is qualified to act as president from day one...

Rich people are threatening to withold contributions to the Democratic Party if Speaker Pelosi continues to instruct super delagates to act according to the wishes of the voters:

Twenty top Hillary fundraisers and donors have sent a scathing private letter to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, chastising her for publicly saying that the super-delegates should support the winner of the pledged delegate count and demanding that she say that they should make an "independent" choice. TPM, via Oliver Willis

Happy Easter, Madam Speaker: China's state-controlled media lit into Nancy Pelosi on Sunday for meeting with the Dalai Lama last week in India.

The House speaker was the first major foreign official to call on the exiled Tibetan leader since the outbreak of violence in the capital city of Lhasa earlier this month.

"We insist that the world know the truth about what is happening in Tibet," Pelosi said during the meeting Friday. "If freedom loving people throughout the world do not speak out against China's oppression in Tibet we have lost all moral authority to speak on human rights anywhere in the world."

In commentary published Sunday in the China People's Daily, the official Xinhua News Agency labeled the California Democrat a "muckraker of her own hypocrisy," saying she "challenged her own conscience" when she condemned "China's legitimate actions against violence in Tibet, but turned a blind eye to merciless rioters."

Xinhua complained that "'Human rights police' like Pelosi are habitually bad tempered and ungenerous when it comes to China, refusing to check their facts and find out the truth of the case." The Baltimore Sun

Bush Silent, but Others Speak Out on Tibet Crackdown...Mr. Bush himself has remained silent. In the meantime, the presidential candidates are speaking out, as is the speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. New York Times

Speaker Pelosi has held her ground about Social Security. During George W. Bush's State of Union Address in 2006, Democrats actually applauded when the president reminded them they had refused to act on his Social Security overhaul plan, despite his strong desire to privatize it.

WASHINGTON, March 25, 2008 -- Speaker Nancy Pelosi released the following statement in response to today's reports from the Social Security and Medicare trustees:

"This year's trustees report again makes clear that Social Security will be able to pay its full benefits through 2041. However, this trustees' report, the last to be issued by the current administration, reveals another squandered opportunity by President Bush. The Bush Administration decided to place tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans ahead of putting Social Security and Medicare on more solid footing.

"When he inherited a projected $5.6 trillion surplus upon entering office, President Bush could have used some of this surplus to strengthen Social Security and Medicare for the baby boomers and future generations. By turning that projected surplus into a $3 trillion deficit, the President not only failed to protect these twin pillars of retirement security, but also made it more difficult for future policymakers to strengthen Social Security and Medicare.

"The Democratic Congress is committed to keeping the promise of Social Security and Medicare to all Americans." PR Newswire

As John McCain struggles to put forth a coherent message about the war and the economy, Nancy Pelosi showed as much resolve and insight in 2002 as she does today. Despite the senate Pelosi is still trying to shore up support for her position on the FISA bill, much to the dismay of the GOP.

I think that Pelosi has gotten a bum steer by many in the blogosphere.

There is a meme that is put forth by the media and others that overcoming the Republican's votes in congress is simply a matter of will or discipline, like some climatic scene in action adventure movie. It's my understanding that it doesn't quite work that way. This, more than anything else, has been the problem.

Most of the problems are not in the house, they are in the senate. The House of Representatives has done quite well, especially when compared to the 109th Congress [ 2 ]. On December 18, 2007, the Republican minority in the Senate set a new record for requiring more cloture votes than any other Senate in history. The Republicans filabustered 62 separate pieces of legislation in the last year, a record.

"The Democrats' poor batting average in the year since retaking control of Congress is caused primarily by their narrow majority status, which has left them unable to overcome procedural hurdles in the Senate, let alone override a presidential veto. On Iraq in particular, Congress this year voted repeatedly to set a timetable for troop withdrawals. Each time, the anti-war measure would scrape by in the House only to sink in the Senate, where 60 votes are needed to overcome a Republican filibuster. Democrats caucus with a narrow 51-49 majority." AP

And that whole "just stop the funding" meme was tried during the Vietnam war, and it didn't work then either, and the Democrats had a better margin in those days I believe, and even more public support than they have now. Chuck Colson (of all people!) talked about this at length a while back on CSPAN in relation to the struggles of the present congress. It took the President's resignation to end that war, and you can't impeach the present president for these reasons, and especially this one.

But if people wants to continue to swiftboat Nancy Pelosi, echoing the likes of Chris Mathews and that crowd, then I will just continue to push against that meme.

Chris Matthews and friends say that congress is unable to stop the Iraq war because they lack the "will" or backbone and other fanciful GOP memes.

Bloggers are mad about the situation, listen to Chris Matthews and his pals, ignore the facts, and blame the Democrats.

Bloggers do a Team Xerox.

The Republican Party laughs with glee, collect more money from their corporate sponsors, and think up new crap for Chris Matthews and his merry men to deliver to the public.

I'm very upset with Hotline TV. In four of the last nine episodes, Amy Walter was not even on the show! Instead they had some clown named Jon Mercurio and some young whippersnapper called 'blog boy'! What a twit! Mercurio says that Ms. Walter is "Touring Europe, promting her memoir about working with Charlie Cook (Of cookpolitical.com.) Those were the days..." Ack! Come back, Amy Walter! We miss you!

Ack! Wyldth1ng has inflicted the Middle Name Meme on me, even though I have already done it!(I thought that I would have developed a natural immunity to this meme or something.) The rules are as follows:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

I submit the following:

C is for Cantankerous, one of my many virtues.H is for Hijinks, as in madcap hilarity,O is for Orangutan, the noblest of beasts.C is for Cemetery, where the dead people live.O is for Obstinate, my favorite flavor.L is for Laocoon, who doesn't like snakes.A is for Adder, who subtracts from the living.T is for Trichinosis, the other white white meat.E is for Evangelist, whose own salvation depends on your damnation.C is for Curse, a gift from my shaman.A is for Achievement, the first step towards regret.K is for Kindness, which ends with someone's hand being bitten.E is for Eulogy, the punch line of medical practitioners.

Might I suggest that you do not use your actual middle name or mother's maiden name but instead make up an imaginary one, because either piece of information can be used as yet another way for identity thieves, hackers, flim-flamners, scam artists and stalkers to glean further information about you. (My apologies to all of my Nigerian spammer readers.)

Becca has dome a fantastic drawing of The Addams Family. The Addams Family is one of my favorite shows ever! I wanted to live at their house when I was a kid. (Who am I kidding? I still want to live at their house!)

Becca also drew some great hula dancers in a drawing of a Tiki Luau.(Excuse me, I am going to go get the lawn mower...)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Washington - Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and her staff said she misspoke when describing sniper fire during a March 1996 trip to Bosnia as first lady.

"It's just shameful that the press say anything negative about a Democratic candidate," Said political consultant and Clinton spokesperson James Carville. "When we are trying so hard to run a positive campaign."

The Republican Party were quick to seize up these latest revalations not only as a way to attack the Democratic Party, but also as a way to explain the Bush administration.

Clearly the media has lost sight of the real story this election season. They are all but ignoring the most important pundit - Obama Girl! You can read about Obama Girl on her Blog, her MySpace page, or read about her on Wikipedia [ 2 ].

In late 1999, the bulwark bank regulation of 1933, the Glass-Steagall Act -- the wall between investment banks and commercial banks -- was torn down. This was a great victory for creative bankers, who had found the wall irksome and restrictive.

However, this teardown reduced the stability of the financial system and opened the way for the Bankers Panic of 2008. Senator Carter Glass, who led in the creation of the Federal Reserve System in 1913, saw how the deposits of correspondent banks flowed to New York City where the big banks were tempted to speculate with the funds. He was determined to keep the investment-banking foxes out of the commercial-banking chicken coop. A wall was created around the banking system to separate investment banks and their assets from commercial banks.

When this wall came down in 1999 with the Financial Modernization (Gramm-Leach-Bliley) Act, it allowed banks and investment banks to join up through the bank holding company mechanism that had been created in 1956 with a cautious requirement that the Federal Reserve approve creation of a bank holding company. No bank holding company headquartered in one state could acquire a bank in another state. It generally prohibited a bank holding company from engaging in non-banking activities or acquiring voting securities of certain companies that are not banks. [...] (Read the rest at Huffington Post)

The US is undergoing a financial earthquake. Its commercial banks and mortgage companies have lent heavily to borrowers -- something that prudent banks with proper risk management systems are not supposed to do. Its “efficient” investment banks readily securitized the loans and sold them to investors, keeping a significant chunk on their balance sheets. Its investors along with European investors and banks willingly invested in these securities.

How could the bank supervision system in one of the world’s most developed countries mess it up so badly?

Part of the answer lies in the fragmented American supervision system of banks and bank-like intermediaries (credit unions, saving associations, etc.) between agencies like the Fed, the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency and the Office of Thrift Supervision. Further is the schism between state and federal supervision -- the difference between state-chartered banks versus federal banks, etc. All this is an inheritance from the peculiarities of US history (still currently evolving), and I believe that it is quite relevant. But that is not the whole story.

More important than this fragmentation are three other important external factors that drove the failure of US bank supervision system... [...] (Read the rest at Today's Zaman)

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Our story begins at the monthly Jesus Convention. The many incarnations of Jesus have had a long day of Jesus networking and listening to guest speakers. Everyone is ready for dinner and a few cocktails. Nobody expected what happened next... Baptist Jesus: I'm glad that this is the last speaker. I'm getting hungry.Pentecostal Jesus: Shh! He is almost finished!George Bush Jesus: Corporations are good, rich people are good, poor people are bad...George Bush Jesus: Republicans = Christians...George Bush Jesus: Democrats = Terrorists...Evangelical Jesus: OK, let's have a big hand for our guest speaker this month, George Bush Jesus!Audience: Applause!Lutheran Jesus: (While applauding) I don't know. George Bush Jesus just doesn't seem to have the same oomph that he used to.Anglican Jesus: (While applauding) I know what you mean. He used to be great, but now he is beginning to lose some of the faithful.Audience: Applause!Lutheran Jesus: (While applauding) Well, I'm ready for a drink after listening to all of this drivel, how about you?Anglican Jesus: (While applauding) Definitely! Let's have a cocktail. I'll round up Non-Denominational Jesus and we can make it a threesome.Audience: Applause starts to die down. (Exit George Bush Jesus.)Catholic Jesus: ...And thus concludes our monthly convention of all those who are Jesus incarnate. There is an open bar, and enjoy the food. Remember, whatever happens in Cincinnati stays in Cincinnati. Heh heh.Easter Bunny: AHA! I must get to the salad bar!Baptist Jesus: Let's go eat. I'm starving!Pentecostal Jesus: Yeah! Carrying this cross around sure makes a guy hungry!Easter Bunny: Excuse me! Coming through!Baptist Jesus: Sure thing, mister bunny!Evangelical Jesus: (the crowd starts to disperse.) Let's get to the buffet. I'm starving. I only had a light lunch.Jehovah's Witness Jesus: OK. Hey, after dinner do you want to go play Ding Dong Ditch?Evangelical Jesus: No thanks! Door-to-door canvassing is your gig!Easter Bunny: Excuse me! Can I get by?Jehovah's Witness Jesus: (letting the rabbit go by) Hey! What's with the rabbit?Evangelical Jesus: Oh, that's the Easter Bunny. He always comes to these gigs for the salad bar. Jehovah's Witness Jesus: Goddamn heathen!Profit Motive Jesus: Hey, maybe your customers don't like the Easter Bunny, but the rest of us make a mint every year off that little guy.Jehovah's Witness Jesus: It make me sick how you people cater to a freaking rodent once a year! I don't want to sound self-righteous...Evangelical Jesus: Sigh. *Too late.* Jehovah's Witness Jesus: ...I don't want to sound self-righteous, but that is why Jehovah's Witnesses are God's chosen. We don't do any of that Pagan mumbo-jumbo. We are totally all Jesus, all the time.Herbalife Jesus: Every month you say the same thing, Jehovah's Witness Jesus. "Ooooh, Aaaah, We're number 1!" You are such a mega-asshole!Easter Bunny: Excuse me! Beep-Beep! Excuse me!Hollywood Jesus: But of course. Get thee to the salad bar, little one!Xenophobic Vigilantism Jesus: Hey, bunny! Where is your green card?Republican Jesus: Calm down, Xeno. Illegal alien workers are good for the economy.Xenophobic Vigilantism Jesus: But they are taking jobs away from Americans, and lowering wages nationwide!Republican Jesus: But they are helping the corporations to make obscene profits!The Invisible Hand of the Marketplace Jesus: What is good for the corporation is good for America. Nothing else matters.Xenophobic Vigilantism Jesus: Damn you! My knee jerk reaction is more important than your avaricious corporate loyalty!Crunchy Granola Jesus: No! Illegal immigrants are good because they usually vote Democrat! Screw the American worker, we need votes!Republican Jesus: Ha Ha! We shall quash their effect on the voting rolls by gerrymandering! The Republicans and the obscene corporate profits are saved!Xenophobic Vigilantism Jesus: Curses! None of our phony-balony motives will save American jobs!Easter Bunny: Yippee! The salad bar!Cheez Whiz Jesus: Where are all of the condiments? I can't find the condiments!Annoying College Student Jesus: Calm down. Anyway, technically you're a sauce.Cheez Whiz Jesus: Oh, really? And what exactly is the difference between a condiment and a sauce?Annoying College Student Jesus: Umm...Easter Bunny: Mmm! Garbanzo beans!Culture of Illusion Jesus: So it only took three weeks?I'm Totally Not Gay Anymore Jesus: Yeah. It was fabulous! Culture of Illusion Jesus: That's amazing. And your parishioners fell for it?I'm Totally Not Gay Anymore Jesus: Totally. Hey, after dinner do you want to come up to my room? I've got HBO.Easter Bunny: Outasight! Croutons!Appears on Toast Jesus: Hey, pal! I'm not on the menu!Easter Bunny: Oh, dear! My apologies, sir!Appears on Toast Jesus: Just watch it, that's all.Easter Bunny: A thousand pardons, sir!Plush Jesus: I've never met the real Jesus.Hanna Barbera Jesus: Neither have I. Most of us haven't.Plush Jesus: I wonder where he is?Football Jesus: Oh, he's off somewhere helping the poor and comforting the sick.Freedom Jesus: What a loser!Profit Motive Jesus: I don't understand that at all. Where is the profit motive?Solid Gold Jesus: It is like he has no respect for capitalism or the American way. He has no business sense at all!Jewish Stereotype Jesus: He can't turn a profit to save his life, and yet they say he is Jewish! I just don't understand it.Massive Inflatable Jesus: Hmmm... I can't help thinking that maybe we are overlooking something...Halliburton Jesus: Ha Ha! Like what?Easter Bunny: Melon! Melon! Melon! Oops! *pthfft!* Seeds...Fox News Jesus: ...So we were thinking that we could do the same thing that we did last Christmas. It worked really well when Bill O'Reilly did it.Hollywood Jesus: We'll have to run the numbers by the big man upstairs.Easter Bunny: OBOY-OBOY! Oatmeal cookies!Fox News Jesus: You mean...God?Hollywood Jesus: Of course not! None of us have to talked to God in years. I'm talking about Roger Ailes, of course.Fox News Jesus: Oh, right! Of course! What was I thinking. So you are gonna pull the same gag on the bunny?Easter Bunny: *Leafy bite, leafy bite, chew-chew-chew, Leafy bite, leafy bite, chew-chew-chew* Hey! what are those two talking about?Fox News Jesus: So, where is Santa Clause now?Hollywood Jesus: He's still crucified from his "War on Christmas" gig with Bill O'Reilly. He's in the storage room over here. You wanna see? Fox News Jesus: Yeah, wheel him out. I have always hated that miserable goody two shoes. His public torture will will bring joy to my dark and curdled heart.Freedom Jesus: I can't wait to see this!Easter Bunny: Holy crap! What have they done to Santa Claus?Hollywood Jesus: Hey, Robot Jesus, give me a hand over here. Robot Jesus: **Whir, beep, click** Yes, master.Fox News Jesus: I can't wait to see what Bill O'Reilly has done. This is going to be interesting.Hollywood Jesus: (Santa is wheeled out.) Here he is! The old toymaster!Santa Claus: You bastards! Let me down! You are being very, very naughty!Neocon Jesus: Ha Ha! Shut up, old man! Your toys only cut into our corporate profits. We are in charge now. Your mission is a failure. Your lifestyle's too extreme!Freedom Jesus: Awsome! This is just like Abu Ghraib! I wish that I had my camera!Santa Claus: You are a total scumbag, Neocon Jesus! You were always mean to your sisters and brothers, You lied about the WMDs, and you never left me any cookies when you were a boy!Neocon Jesus: Who cares! Your lovingly handcrafted toys suck! I only liked video games with lots of sex and violence when I was a kid! Ha Ha!Easter Bunny: Holy crap! I have gotta save Santa!Nite-Lite Jesus: I love it! The bunny wants to be a hero! Isn't that cute.Fox News Jesus: Man, "War on Christmas" was great TV while it lasted! We soaked the television audience good during that Christmas season!Hollywood Jesus: Well, hopefully "War on Easter" will be just as good. We will just have to boost the proper agenda to create a false moral dilema among the viewers.Easter Bunny: "War on Easter?" WTF?Hollywood Jesus: Now, somebody grab the rabbit and we can crucify him just like Santa. After we promote this meme, our television rating should go through the roof!Gun Rights Jesus: I'll get him! I'll get him!Easter Bunny: Have no fear, Santa! I will save you!Santa Claus: Don't worry about me! Save yourself, Mr. Bunny!Fox News Jesus: Ha Ha! I can't wait to tell Bill O'Reilly!Freedom Jesus: *Snicker* Oh, we are gonna have some fun with you little rabbit!Easter Bunny: (Sigh) Listen guys, I'm only here for the buffet.Gun Rights Jesus: I've got him! I've got the varmit in my sights!Easter Bunny: Like I said, I'm only here for the buffet...You really ought to think this over, Jethro...Gun Rights Jesus: Hold it right there, you rascally rodent!Easter Bunny: OK, pal. Put down the gun before you hurt someone.Gun Rights Jesus: Say your prayers, varmit! I'm gonna send you to Kingdom Come! (shoots himself in the foot) Ouch!Smug Sanctimonious Jesus: See what you did? Don't talk back, you silly little rabbit!Easter Bunny: You're making me angry...Dow Jones Industrial Jesus: What a joke! Ha Ha! The little rodent is "getting angry!"Easter Bunny: Trust me, you don't want to see me angry...Atomic Underpants Jesus: Ha Ha! What are you gonna do, bunny? *Woooo-Hoooo* - I'm soOOOoo scared!Easter Bunny: You... fools... I'M... ONLY... HERE... FOR...THE... BUFFET! Spiritual Roto-Rooter Man Jesus: Oh, my spleen! You are such a funny little bunny! You can't stand up to the almighty power of Jesus!Easter Bunny: What you don't understand, you moron, is that you are not Jesus. None of you are Jesus. You are merely human interpretations of Jesus. Ninja Jesus: Enough of this foolishness. I will kill you until you are dead, Easter Bunny!Easter Bunny: The real Jesus is my friend ...And trust me, you don't have any special powers like the real Jesus. The real Jesus has power that you cannot even begin to imagine.Kung Fu Jesus: Your Kung Fu is weak, and your Christian dogma interpretation is fundementally flawed. Prepare to die, rabbit!Easter Bunny: The REAL power of Jesus is in his message, his words, and his philosophy...Even I know that, and I'm only a rabbit! ...And of course he is really, really good at skee-ball - just like his dad.Crunchy Granola Jesus: But if we don't have any special Jesus powers, then neither do you. You are just yet another human interpretation of Jesus like us! Where do you get off talking like that, especially to US? Profit Motive Jesus: Yeah, and we have the power of the profit margin. We have lots of money. We can afford lawyers and stuff. You're just some stupid Jesus rodent.Easter Bunny: Let me explain a couple of things to you knuckleheads. First, rabbits are not rodents, they are lagomorphs...Supply Side Economics Jesus: Yeah, Yeah, big deal. **four incisors in the upper jaw, instead of two.** What great big pile of Whoop-De-Doodle-Doo! Ooooo, look at me, I have four stomachs and digest my food twice! Who cares?Easter Bunny: ...And second, I predate the Christian religion. My holiday was adopted by early Christians, so I am NOT a "Jesus Bunny." I am one of the Ancients, not that I expect you to understand the significance of that. We are older than time itself.Jehovah's Witness Jesus: See! See? I told you he was a Pagan.Evangelical Jesus: Oh, shut already, Jehovah's Witness Jesus. Easter Bunny: While you draw your power from people's interpretations of Jesus, I draw MY power from the almighty Earth Mother. My Mommy is the Mother Goddess! Also known as Tiamat, Ishtar, Isis, Ashtart, Aphrodite, Freyja,...Yes, even Mary and Hagia Sophia. My Mom is the coolest Mom ever!Smug Sanctimonious Jesus: Ha Ha! So you are going to sic your Mommy on us? You are going to pit a woman against the awsome power of Jesus!?!? Oh, we have to get a video of this! This is priceless. Who's got a camera?Easter Bunny: I am the Herald of the Spring! The Destroyer of Winter! And I am also in charge of Fertility and Spring Fever. (Which makes me very, very popular with the young people, don'tcha know.) You have messed with the wrong bunny, you fools.Dashboard Jesus: Yeah? So what. HA HA! Watch out! It's Spring Break Viagra Bunny! Easter Bunny: So, wheras you are are merely representations of public opinion ABOUT a deity, I am an ACTUAL DEITY!Alcoholics Anonymous Jesus: OMG! I'm getting frightened! I need a drink, quick!Soap-on-a-Rope Jesus: HA HA HA! You are such a card! you always need a drink, AA Jesus!Alcoholics Anonymous Jesus: HA HA! Yeah, I know!Easter Bunny: And now for the indignities that you have wrought upon my friend, Santa Claus, you shall all suffer the horrible wrath of the Bunny!Smiley Jesus: OK, this is not really very funny anymore. Is there a game on? Where's the TV?Easter Bunny: Take that, you false prophets! (The Easter Bunny shoots high velocity pastel-colored M&Ms at the crowd, both plain and peanut. Despite the high velocity, the projectile M&Ms melt in their victim and not in the air.)Shroud of Turin Jesus: Help! Help! I have been severely and repeatedly puctured! I am being torn to shreds! Oh, the humanity!Meaningful Overnight Relationship Jesus: ARGH! The M&Ms have hit me right in my Admiral Winky!Easter Bunny: RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT! (The Easter Bunny shoots high velocity pastel-colored jelly beans at the crowd - not those cheap dime store ones, but those really good gourmet jelly beans that you have to buy by the pound.)Passionately Credulous Jesus: OH MY GOD! I'm Bleeding! Help! I'm too young to die!Massive Inflatable Jesus: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I've been hit! I'm losing air pressure! I need a bicycle pump and some duct tape! QUICK!Easter Bunny: RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT! (The Easter Bunny shoots high velocity pastel-colored miniature eggs with a delicious creamy chocolate center at the crowd.)Holy Church of the Gooey Death Jesus: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! HEY! These are tasty! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!Barcalounger Jesus: Holy moley! It's a bloodbath!Hollywood Jesus: Hey! this would make a really, really great Made-For-TV Movie! Get me a phone, I have to find a scriptwriter! Easter Bunny: And now, I will show you the amazing confectionery rabbit powers of the Easter Bunny! Bunny Power: Whoosh!Fox News Jesus: WTF? We are all turning into Easter candy!Easter Bunny: Ha Ha! I laugh at your sweet-tooth predicament!Milk Chocolate Power: Whoosh!Nite-Lite Jesus: Yipes! I have been transformed into a delicious milk chocolate snack!Easter Bunny: Scream all you want, foolish mortals! Ha Ha! Peep Power: Whoosh!Neocon Jesus: Zoinks! I am becoming a giant marshmallow rabbit!Halliburton Jesus: No No No! I don't want to be a Peep Jesus!Easter Bunny: Ha Ha! Sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, trace amounts of flavoring, coloring, wax, and unpronounceable preservatives shall be your prison! That will teach you to mess with the Easter Bunny!Easter Eggy-Wegg Power: Whoosh!Profit Motive Jesus: Eeek! I am the Eggman!Easter Bunny: Ha Ha! Quake with fear, you tiny fools!Carmel Nougat Power: Whoosh!Herbalife Jesus: Whoa, dude! Suddenly I feel chewy, nutty, and scrumptious!Easter Bunny: And now for the final touch! Ha Ha! Rich Creamy Goodness Power: Whoosh!Hollywood Jesus: I have become an Easter basket filled with tasty goodies! And somehow, I no longer feel evil...I have an overwhelming urge to pay my back child-support and tip waiters a full 15-20 percent! CURSE YOU, EASTER BUNNY! I am filled with Rich Creamy Goodness!Easter Bunny: OK, Santa! I will release you now!Santa Claus: Yay! Way to go, bunny!Easter Bunny: Hold still, I'll get you down...Santa Claus: You are a hero!Easter Bunny: Oh. it's nothing. There - you're free.Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho! I am forever in your debt, my furry little friend.Easter Bunny: So glad to see you again, Santa! Us holidays gotta stick together.Santa Claus: Hey, are these bad Jesus' going to be like this forever?Easter Bunny: Oh, no. Of course not. The effects will last about a week. When they wake up they will have a glucose shock headache, and of course they will all gain about 10 pounds.Santa Claus: But they are edible, right?Easter Bunny: Indubitably! They are made of only the finest ingredients.Santa Claus: Well, being crucified can make a guy pretty hungry, and that Neocon Jesus fellow has become the most delicious looking giant marshmallow rabbit. Let's eat him! No one will miss the little piss-ant. He has always been a bad boy, even when he was a kid.Neocon Jesus: Yipes!Easter Bunny: Hmm...OK, but I get the ears!Neocon Jesus: Oh, cruel fate! woe is me.Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho! Lets eat! Last one finished is a rotten egg!Easter Bunny: Ha Ha! An Easter joke! Very good, Mr. Kringle. I guess the yolks on me!Santa Claus: Ho Ho Ho! Ho Ho Ho!Easter Bunny: (bunny wink) Hee Hee!

No time for blogging today! I am busy getting ready for Easter by coloring hard boiled eggs, biting the ears off of chocolate bunnies and nuking Peeps! (Jeepers! Who knew that celebrating the reanimation of the dead involved so many delicious treats!) In the meantime you can read this swell Easter comic book that I made last year, Jesus Convention.

Although neither Brian Kilmeade [ 1,2,3 ] nor Chris Wallace [ 1,2,3 ] are strangers to the ongoing orgy of FOX News hate mongering, both of them were remarkably fair, one might even say balanced in their reaction to Fox & Friends hosts ex-weatherman Steve Doocy and former Miss America Gretchen Carlson's false representation of a quote by Barack Obama. This story is fascinating.

Friday, March 21, 2008

He who stands on tiptoe is not steady.He who strides forward does not go.He who shows himself is not harmonious.He who justifies himself is not prominent.He who boasts of himself is not given credit.He who brags does not endure for long.

Lao Tzu, Tao-Te Ching

The Sermon on the Mount teaches us that the exalted shall be humbled, but the humble shall be exalted.

Modesty teaches us that what is low shall be raised, and what is high shall be lowered.

Jesus teaches us love, Buddha teaches us compassion, Mohammed teaches us mercy, and all of them teach us tolerance.

Modern religion teaches us how their words can be twisted to suit just about any ridiculous human agenda.

No time for blogging today! Germaine Gregarious and I are busy spreading our message of sweetness and light from the rooftops. (Hee hee! Good shot, Ms. Gregarious! Now to beat a hasty retreat...) In the meantime you can watch these swell Spy vs. Spy Mountain Dew Commercials! [ 2 ] I gotta get those guys on the payroll...

These are the prepared remarks that the Illinois senator delivered Mar 18, 2008 at the Constitution Center in Philadelphia.

"We the people, in order to form a more perfect union."

Two hundred and twenty one years ago, in a hall that still stands across the street, a group of men gathered and, with these simple words, launched America's improbable experiment in democracy. Farmers and scholars; statesmen and patriots who had traveled across an ocean to escape tyranny and persecution finally made real their declaration of independence at a Philadelphia convention that lasted through the spring of 1787.

The document they produced was eventually signed but ultimately unfinished. It was stained by this nation's original sin of slavery, a question that divided the colonies and brought the convention to a stalemate until the founders chose to allow the slave trade to continue for at least twenty more years, and to leave any final resolution to future generations.

Of course, the answer to the slavery question was already embedded within our Constitution – a Constitution that had at is very core the ideal of equal citizenship under the law; a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time.

And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part – through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.

This was one of the tasks we set forth at the beginning of this campaign – to continue the long march of those who came before us, a march for a more just, more equal, more free, more caring and more prosperous America. I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together – unless we perfect our union by understanding that we may have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction – towards a better future for of children and our grandchildren.

This belief comes from my unyielding faith in the decency and generosity of the American people. But it also comes from my own American story.

I am the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas. I was raised with the help of a white grandfather who survived a Depression to serve in Patton's Army during World War II and a white grandmother who worked on a bomber assembly line at Fort Leavenworth while he was overseas. I've gone to some of the best schools in America and lived in one of the world's poorest nations. I am married to a black American who carries within her the blood of slaves and slaveowners – an inheritance we pass on to our two precious daughters. I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents, and for as long as I live, I will never forget that in no other country on Earth is my story even possible.

It's a story that hasn't made me the most conventional candidate. But it is a story that has seared into my genetic makeup the idea that this nation is more than the sum of its parts – that out of many, we are truly one.

Throughout the first year of this campaign, against all predictions to the contrary, we saw how hungry the American people were for this message of unity. Despite the temptation to view my candidacy through a purely racial lens, we won commanding victories in states with some of the whitest populations in the country. In South Carolina, where the Confederate Flag still flies, we built a powerful coalition of African Americans and white Americans.

This is not to say that race has not been an issue in the campaign. At various stages in the campaign, some commentators have deemed me either "too black" or "not black enough." We saw racial tensions bubble to the surface during the week before the South Carolina primary. The press has scoured every exit poll for the latest evidence of racial polarization, not just in terms of white and black, but black and brown as well.

And yet, it has only been in the last couple of weeks that the discussion of race in this campaign has taken a particularly divisive turn.

On one end of the spectrum, we've heard the implication that my candidacy is somehow an exercise in affirmative action; that it's based solely on the desire of wide-eyed liberals to purchase racial reconciliation on the cheap. On the other end, we've heard my former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, use incendiary language to express views that have the potential not only to widen the racial divide, but views that denigrate both the greatness and the goodness of our nation; that rightly offend white and black alike.

I have already condemned, in unequivocal terms, the statements of Reverend Wright that have caused such controversy. For some, nagging questions remain. Did I know him to be an occasionally fierce critic of American domestic and foreign policy? Of course. Did I ever hear him make remarks that could be considered controversial while I sat in church? Yes. Did I strongly disagree with many of his political views? Absolutely – just as I'm sure many of you have heard remarks from your pastors, priests, or rabbis with which you strongly disagreed.

But the remarks that have caused this recent firestorm weren't simply controversial. They weren't simply a religious leader's effort to speak out against perceived injustice. Instead, they expressed a profoundly distorted view of this country – a view that sees white racism as endemic, and that elevates what is wrong with America above all that we know is right with America; a view that sees the conflicts in the Middle East as rooted primarily in the actions of stalwart allies like Israel, instead of emanating from the perverse and hateful ideologies of radical Islam.

As such, Reverend Wright's comments were not only wrong but divisive, divisive at a time when we need unity; racially charged at a time when we need to come together to solve a set of monumental problems – two wars, a terrorist threat, a falling economy, a chronic health care crisis and potentially devastating climate change; problems that are neither black or white or Latino or Asian, but rather problems that confront us all.

Given my background, my politics, and my professed values and ideals, there will no doubt be those for whom my statements of condemnation are not enough. Why associate myself with Reverend Wright in the first place, they may ask? Why not join another church? And I confess that if all that I knew of Reverend Wright were the snippets of those sermons that have run in an endless loop on the television and You Tube, or if Trinity United Church of Christ conformed to the caricatures being peddled by some commentators, there is no doubt that I would react in much the same way

But the truth is, that isn't all that I know of the man. The man I met more than twenty years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another; to care for the sick and lift up the poor. He is a man who served his country as a U.S. Marine; who has studied and lectured at some of the finest universities and seminaries in the country, and who for over thirty years led a church that serves the community by doing God's work here on Earth – by housing the homeless, ministering to the needy, providing day care services and scholarships and prison ministries, and reaching out to those suffering from HIV/AIDS.

In my first book, Dreams From My Father, I described the experience of my first service at Trinity:

"People began to shout, to rise from their seats and clap and cry out, a forceful wind carrying the reverend's voice up into the rafters….And in that single note – hope! – I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of ordinary black people merging with the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion's den, Ezekiel's field of dry bones. Those stories – of survival, and freedom, and hope – became our story, my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories tha t we didn't need to feel shame about…memories that all people might study and cherish – and with which we could start to rebuild."

That has been my experience at Trinity. Like other predominantly black churches across the country, Trinity embodies the black community in its entirety – the doctor and the welfare mom, the model student and the former gang-banger. Like other black churches, Trinity's services are full of raucous laughter and sometimes bawdy humor. They are full of dancing, clapping, screaming and shouting that may seem jarring to the untrained ear. The church contains in full the kindness and cruelty, the fierce intelligence and the shocking ignorance, the struggles and successes, the love and yes, the bitterness and bias that make up the black experience in America.

And this helps explain, perhaps, my relationship with Reverend Wright. As imperfect as he may be, he has been like family to me. He strengthened my faith, officiated my wedding, and baptized my children. Not once in my conversations with him have I heard him talk about any ethnic group in derogatory terms, or treat whites with whom he interacted with anything but courtesy and respect. He contains within him the contradictions – the good and the bad – of the community that he has served diligently for so many years.

I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community. I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother – a woman who helped raise me, a woman who sacrificed again and again for me, a woman who loves me as much as she loves anything in this world, but a woman who once confessed her fear of black men who passed by her on the street, and who on more than one occasion has uttered racial or ethnic stereotypes that made me cringe.

These people are a part of me. And they are a part of America, this country that I love.

Some will see this as an attempt to justify or excuse comments that are simply inexcusable. I can assure you it is not. I suppose the politically safe thing would be to move on from this episode and just hope that it fades into the woodwork. We can dismiss Reverend Wright as a crank or a demagogue, just as some have dismissed Geraldine Ferraro, in the aftermath of her recent statements, as harboring some deep-seated racial bias.

But race is an issue that I believe this nation cannot afford to ignore right now. We would be making the same mistake that Reverend Wright made in his offending sermons about America – to simplify and stereotype and amplify the negative to the point that it distorts reality.

The fact is that the comments that have been made and the issues that have surfaced over the last few weeks reflect the complexities of race in this country that we've never really worked through – a part of our union that we have yet to perfect. And if we walk away now, if we simply retreat into our respective corners, we will never be able to come together and solve challenges like health care, or education, or the need to find good jobs for every American.

Understanding this reality requires a reminder of how we arrived at this point. As William Faulkner once wrote, "The past isn't dead and buried. In fact, it isn't even past." We do not need to recite here the history of racial injustice in this country. But we do need to remind ourselves that so many of the disparities that exist in the African-American community today can be directly traced to inequalities passed on from an earlier generation that suffered under the brutal legacy of slavery and Jim Crow.

Segregated schools were, and are, inferior schools; we still haven't fixed them, fifty years after Brown v. Board of Education, and the inferior education they provided, then and now, helps explain the pervasive achievement gap between today's black and white students.

Legalized discrimination - where blacks were prevented, often through violence, from owning property, or loans were not granted to African-American business owners, or black homeowners could not access FHA mortgages, or blacks were excluded from unions, or the police force, or fire departments – meant that black families could not amass any meaningful wealth to bequeath to future generations. That history helps explain the wealth and income gap between black and white, and the concentrated pockets of poverty that persists in so many of today's urban and rural communities.

A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one's family, contributed to the erosion of black families – a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened. And the lack of basic services in so many urban black neighborhoods – parks for kids to play in, police walking the beat, regular garbage pick-up and building code enforcement – all helped create a cycle of violence, blight and neglect that continue to haunt us.

This is the reality in which Reverend Wright and other African-Americans of his generation grew up. They came of age in the late fifties and early sixties, a time when segregation was still the law of the land and opportunity was systematically constricted. What's remarkable is not how many failed in the face of discrimination, but rather how many men and women overcame the odds; how many were able to make a way out of no way for those like me who would come after them.

But for all those who scratched and clawed their way to get a piece of the American Dream, there were many who didn't make it – those who were ultimately defeated, in one way or another, by discrimination. That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations – those young men and increasingly young women who we see standing on street corners or languishing in our prisons, without hope or prospects for the future. Even for those blacks who did make it, questions of race, and racism, continue to define their worldview in fundamental ways. For the men and women of Reverend Wright's generation, the memories of humiliation and doubt and fear have not gone away; nor has the anger and the bitterness of those years. That anger may not get expressed in public, in front of white co-workers or white friends. But it does find voice in the barbershop or around the kitchen table. At times, that anger is exploited by politicia ns, to gin up votes along racial lines, or to make up for a politician's own failings.

And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.

In fact, a similar anger exists within segments of the white community. Most working- and middle-class white Americans don't feel that they have been particularly privileged by their race. Their experience is the immigrant experience – as far as they're concerned, no one's handed them anything, they've built it from scratch. They've worked hard all their lives, many times only to see their jobs shipped overseas or their pension dumped after a lifetime of labor. They are anxious about their futures, and feel their dreams slipping away; in an era of stagnant wages and global competition, opportunity comes to be seen as a zero sum game, in which your dreams come at my expense. So when they are told to bus their children to a school across town; when they hear that an African American is getting an advantage in landing a good job or a spot in a good college because of an injustice that they themselves never committ ed; when they're told that their fears about crime in urban neighborhoods are somehow prejudiced, resentment builds over time.

Like the anger within the black community, these resentments aren't always expressed in polite company. But they have helped shape the political landscape for at least a generation. Anger over welfare and affirmative action helped forge the Reagan Coalition. Politicians routinely exploited fears of crime for their own electoral ends. Talk show hosts and conservative commentators built entire careers unmasking bogus claims of racism while dismissing legitimate discussions of racial injustice and inequality as mere political correctness or reverse racism.

Just as black anger often proved counterproductive, so have these white resentments distracted attention from the real culprits of the middle class squeeze – a corporate culture rife with inside dealing, questionable accounting practices, and short-term greed; a Washington dominated by lobbyists and special interests; economic policies that favor the few over the many. And yet, to wish away the resentments of white Americans, to label them as misguided or even racist, without recognizing they are grounded in legitimate concerns – this too widens the racial divide, and blocks the path to understanding.

This is where we are right now. It's a racial stalemate we've been stuck in for years. Contrary to the claims of some of my critics, black and white, I have never been so naïve as to believe that we can get beyond our racial divisions in a single election cycle, or with a single candidacy – particularly a candidacy as imperfect as my own.

But I have asserted a firm conviction – a conviction rooted in my faith in God and my faith in the American people – that working together we can move beyond some of our old racial wounds, and that in fact we have no choice is we are to continue on the path of a more perfect union.

For the African-American community, that path means embracing the burdens of our past without becoming victims of our past. It means continuing to insist on a full measure of justice in every aspect of American life. But it also means binding our particular grievances – for better health care, and better schools, and better jobs - to the larger aspirations of all Americans -- the white woman struggling to break the glass ceiling, the white man whose been laid off, the immigrant trying to feed his family. And it means taking full responsibility for own lives – by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism; they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.

Ironically, this quintessentially American – and yes, conservative – notion of self-help found frequent expression in Reverend Wright's sermons. But what my former pastor too often failed to understand is that embarking on a program of self-help also requires a belief that society can change.

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright's sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It's that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen – is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

In the white community, the path to a more perfect union means acknowledging that what ails the African-American community does not just exist in the minds of black people; that the legacy of discrimination - and current incidents of discrimination, while less overt than in the past - are real and must be addressed. Not just with words, but with deeds – by investing in our schools and our communities; by enforcing our civil rights laws and ensuring fairness in our criminal justice system; by providing this generation with ladders of opportunity that were unavailable for previous generations. It requires all Americans to realize that your dreams do not have to come at the expense of my dreams; that investing in the health, welfare, and education of black and brown and white children will ultimately help all of America prosper.

In the end, then, what is called for is nothing more, and nothing less, than what all the world's great religions demand – that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Let us be our brother's keeper, Scripture tells us. Let us be our sister's keeper. Let us find that common stake we all have in one another, and let our politics reflect that spirit as well.

For we have a choice in this country. We can accept a politics that breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism. We can tackle race only as spectacle – as we did in the OJ trial – or in the wake of tragedy, as we did in the aftermath of Katrina - or as fodder for the nightly news. We can play Reverend Wright's sermons on every channel, every day and talk about them from now until the election, and make the only question in this campaign whether or not the American people think that I somehow believe or sympathize with his most offensive words. We can pounce on some gaffe by a Hillary supporter as evidence that she's playing the race card, or we can speculate on whether white men will all flock to John McCain in the general election regardless of his policies.

We can do that.

But if we do, I can tell you that in the next election, we'll be talking about some other distraction. And then another one. And then another one. And nothing will change.

That is one option. Or, at this moment, in this election, we can come together and say, "Not this time." This time we want to talk about the crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children and Asian children and Hispanic children and Native American children. This time we want to reject the cynicism that tells us that these kids can't learn; that those kids who don't look like us are somebody else's problem. The children of America are not those kids, they are our kids, and we will not let them fall behind in a 21st century economy. Not this time.

This time we want to talk about how the lines in the Emergency Room are filled with whites and blacks and Hispanics who do not have health care; who don't have the power on their own to overcome the special interests in Washington, but who can take them on if we do it together.

This time we want to talk about the shuttered mills that once provided a decent life for men and women of every race, and the homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from every religion, every region, every walk of life. This time we want to talk about the fact that the real problem is not that someone who doesn't look like you might take your job; it's that the corporation you work for will ship it overseas for nothing more than a profit.

This time we want to talk about the men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. We want to talk about how to bring them home from a war that never should've been authorized and never should've been waged, and we want to talk about how we'll show our patriotism by caring for them, and their families, and giving them the benefits they have earned.

I would not be running for President if I didn't believe with all my heart that this is what the vast majority of Americans want for this country. This union may never be perfect, but generation after generation has shown that it can always be perfected. And today, whenever I find myself feeling doubtful or cynical about this possibility, what gives me the most hope is the next generation – the young people whose attitudes and beliefs and openness to change have already made history in this election.

There is one story in particularly that I'd like to leave you with today – a story I told when I had the great honor of speaking on Dr. King's birthday at his home church, Ebenezer Baptist, in Atlanta.

There is a young, twenty-three year old white woman named Ashley Baia who organized for our campaign in Florence, South Carolina. She had been working to organize a mostly African-American community since the beginning of this campaign, and one day she was at a roundtable discussion where everyone went around telling their story and why they were there.

And Ashley said that when she was nine years old, her mother got cancer. And because she had to miss days of work, she was let go and lost her health care. They had to file for bankruptcy, and that's when Ashley decided that she had to do something to help her mom.

She knew that food was one of their most expensive costs, and so Ashley convinced her mother that what she really liked and really wanted to eat more than anything else was mustard and relish sandwiches. Because that was the cheapest way to eat.

She did this for a year until her mom got better, and she told everyone at the roundtable that the reason she joined our campaign was so that she could help the millions of other children in the country who want and need to help their parents too.

Now Ashley might have made a different choice. Perhaps somebody told her along the way that the source of her mother's problems were blacks who were on welfare and too lazy to work, or Hispanics who were coming into the country illegally. But she didn't. She sought out allies in her fight against injustice.

Anyway, Ashley finishes her story and then goes around the room and asks everyone else why they're supporting the campaign. They all have different stories and reasons. Many bring up a specific issue. And finally they come to this elderly black man who's been sitting there quietly the entire time. And Ashley asks him why he's there. And he does not bring up a specific issue. He does not say health care or the economy. He does not say education or the war. He does not say that he was there because of Barack Obama. He simply says to everyone in the room, "I am here because of Ashley."

"I'm here because of Ashley." By itself, that single moment of recognition between that young white girl and that old black man is not enough. It is not enough to give health care to the sick, or jobs to the jobless, or education to our children.

But it is where we start. It is where our union grows stronger. And as so many generations have come to realize over the course of the two-hundred and twenty one years since a band of patriots signed that document in Philadelphia, that is where the perfection begins.

Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I'm all in favor of it. But to suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Man is a menace, a walking pestilence. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It's a question of simian survival.