Michigan Kicks Off Merciless Wolf Hunt for No Good Reason—and It Won't Even Work

For the cattle. For the children. For the fk of it.

This morning, Michiganders marched with their rifles into the wilderness, to hunt wolves. About twelve-hundred of them, if everyone who bought a $100 license (and the one out-of-stater who spent $500) actually makes the trek. And they will do it for the livestock. Because so far this year, a wolf has reportedly killed or injured thirty Michigandan cattle or occasional dog. (These men were also doing it for the children, until the politician who offered that storyline—and helped skirt a petition for a ballot that would've likely stopped the hunt—was forced to admit that, no, he was just lying about the endangered kids.)

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And so off into the woods these heroes go. For the honor of protecting cattle.

Or for the fk of it. Here are what two men currently huddled up in a tent they call "The Taj Ma-Hal [sic] of the North" told the great MLive:

according to the Detroit Free Press, states like Minnesota, which has more than three times as many wolves, had a four-percent rate.

So come one, come twelve-hundred who netted the state about $12,400 for these licenses and instead of pooling that money and lending their time to build some better fences wanted to go out shooting at "beautiful animal[s]" they won't be able to find. For the honor of tilting at wolves.

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