Bret Easton Ellis’s feud with Deadline blogger Nikki Finke (which started over Ellis’s innocuous tweet about them living in the same building) was probably the highlight of my Monday, because it’s always fun when someone craps on Nikki Finke. Today, The Hollywood Reporter ran a story titled “Bret Easton Ellis Ramps Up His War Against Nikki Finke,” which isn’t really true, and if anything, seems more like an attempt to eke out a few more page views from a two-day-old feud with no new developments. So why am I writing about it, you ask? I guess I just really wanted another excuse to post that Chinese horse fighting graphic. The Chinese have it right, I’d much rather watch horses fight to the death than see some rich asshole ride them.

In an exclusive statement, Ellis tells THR: “I have nothing against Nikki Finke. I tweeted something innocuous. I did not give an address because I have crazies hounding me. She went ballistic, and her reaction was harassing and unacceptable. I had no idea her ‘privacy’ was so important considering her feelings about revealing the lives of others. Come on, N.F., if you’re going to call out others, then expect it in return.”

“My tweets were meant at the Hollywood morons who think they have to live in Nikki Finke’s French Royal Court and be completely secretive: That’s what I despise.”

Yep, I’ll go with all of that. As far as I can tell, Finke has yet to respond. And it should be noted that Deadline and The Hollywood Reporter are arch enemies (GAY HOLLYWOOD SLANG AT DAWN?), so it’s no surprise to see THR giving a Finke-hater an open forum. Meanwhile, Bret Easton Ellis is still busy on his twitter account, trying to make “empire” happen and discussing casting for the movie adaptation of Lunar Park. BUT WAIT! What’s this? A NEW BEEF EMERGES!

Just found out from a casting director that Edward Norton will NEVER work on anything associated with Bret Easton Ellis. I’m wondering why.

Ellis goes on to say that his first choice to play him in Lunar Park is Mark Ruffalo. Wait no! Tom Cruise! (remember to read this bottom to top for chronology)

He’s… what you might call “unfiltered.”

I actually listened to Lunar Park on tape a few years back while I was commuting to one of my crappy jobs copywriting for porn, and I quite enjoyed it (and I don’t like every Bret Easton Ellis novel, I thought Glamorama was pretentious drivel). It’s sort of a meta-fictionalized story that stars Ellis himself and devolves into the supernatural and is every bit as delightfully strange as that sounds. Roger Avary is of course the co-writer of Pulp Fiction and director of Rules of Attraction, which was probably the best of the Bret Easton Ellis movie adaptations. I’ve never been much a fan of Tom Cruise’s acting, but the Bret Easton Ellis role in Lunar Park reminds me a bit of Cruise in Collateral (one of his best roles, acting-wise), of the slightly robotic yet charming misanthropic sociopath. Of course this is all academic, because before any of that could happen, Nikki Finke is going have Bret Easton Ellis killed and his entire empire razed to the ground with her magical Death Star of haughty blogs.