A: My wife used to sport beautiful wavy long hair. But she doesn’t take care of her looks now.

B: Perhaps the apparent foreverness of marriage has made her figure you were stuck with her, so why spend all the extra time hot-oiling and blow-drying? You wanted eye candy? Too bad. You get eye broccoli.

A: Hey, my wife is not eye broccoli. She is still my eye candy!

Note: Eye broccoli refers to unattractive people. It is a variation on the classic “eye candy” expression and since broccoli is one the most unliked foods, it is the antithesis of candy. Some say it was first used on “How I Met Your Mother” by Barney Stinson to describe Marshall Eriksen’s homely assistant. “Yes, she is a little plain, but I’m married, so that’s good,” Eriksen says.