Ask the expert: Rosalyn Hoffman, ‘Smart Mama Smart Money’

We’re giving away copies of Rosalyn Hoffman’s book, “Smart Mama Smart Money: Raising Happy, Healthy Kids Without Breaking the Bank” to three commenters chosen at random. So share your thoughts about what Hoffman has to say in our Q&A, and you could be one of them. The contest is open until 5 p.m. Wednesday (Feb. 22).

Rosalyn Hoffman’s book, “Smart Mama Smart Money: Raising Happy, Healthy Kids Without Breaking the Bank” (NAL Trade Paperback; March 6; $15), helps parents drowning in decisions about paying extra for Abercrombie and whether to send kids to a weeklong sports camp figure out what’s really important to them. We talked to Hoffman about how good budgeting and good parenting can work together.

Q: Your book talks a lot about general parenting philosophy, not just budgeting. Do you see the two as intertwined?

A: I think the key part of my book is that mindful spending is smart for everyone, and it’s good for both your budget and your values, and they both come together. I think that’s the theme under the book. It’s just being a mindful parent. If you’re thinking about buying a pair of underwear for tweens that says “Juicy” on the bottom, you’re paying more for “Juicy” on the label, but if you’re buying underwear that says “Juicy” on the bottom, what are you also saying?
Q: Is there more pressure on today’s parents to spend than in generations before?
A: I wouldn’t necessarily say that about the generation before, because every parent is trying to do the best they can. There’s an assault in the marketplace of information … it’s a difference, generationally, and I think that perhaps, is an assault on the budget because there are so many more choices, so many things you should be doing or buying or signing them up for. I think, also, the economy is in a different place than it was 10 years ago or 15 years ago. In a way — it’s not a good thing that people lost a job — but it was a good thing in terms of reining it in.

Q: The cost of college seems so daunting that parents have to wonder if they should even try. What is your advice?
A: In the book, what I’ve suggested is that first, you need to save for yourself and you need to save for your retirement, because in the end, who is going to take care of you? Your kids will hopefully have a strong, structured base of learning and knowing how to get what they need, and if you have money left, then you can look at saving. A kid will have to find their way. Save if you can. I guess the other advice I would give is just because you can’t save all of it, you should at least save some of it.

Q: How much should you be talking to your kids about money and the family budget?
A: You need to make them feel safe; that’s the first thing, no matter what. The first goal of a parent is to say, “These are things we think about, but don’t worry about it, we’ll always take care of you. You’ll always have a house to live in. You’ll always have food to eat.” (But you also say) “Money doesn’t grow on trees. It doesn’t come from the cash machine. Money is something you have to earn.” It’s money literacy. It’s your job as a parent to teach them that.

Q: You say in the book that allowance should not be tied to performance, and that chores are just part of belonging to the family. What’s your philosophy on allowance?
A: I believe very strongly that you should give an allowance. As a child, it’s just part of being part of the family. They have to have some independent agency with money, and they learn how to use it themselves. You start young and teach them in small increments.
Q: When should a child start receiving an allowance?

A: Maybe when they’re 5 or 6. One of the things that always struck me when I was taking my kids shopping and they were going to buy presents for me, it was awful for me and for them to have me pay for the presents that they wanted to get for me. Making choices between the candy necklace and a gift for their mom and their sister, that’s real life.

7 Responses

The last comment of an allowance and money of their own for spending on gifts for the family….we teach our son that any money he receives from birthdays, etc… Half goes in the bank and half for himself to spend. (This way he learns savings and to spend wisely on himself and others) He has become a great saver and spender based on those teachings.

Since we recently had a reduction in income in our house… the issue of spending comes up quite a bit. I think its made us far more creative in finding things to do with and for our kids. And, we are hoping that they learn to appreciate what they have more. They have definitely heard a lot of discussion between things they WANT and things they NEED.

Not making use of tax-saving retirement accounts is odd. Some of what you save can be thrown into the college account.

Throw coins into a jar. We saved thousands one year.

Property can act as an additional salary, so think outside the box.

I don’t involve kids in our family budget.

We didn’t give allowances, but they earned money for doing chores. We helped somewhat with autos and insurance.

Kids should have a job at 15 or 16. Getting out into the world provides good experience.

For an only child, it would be sensible if folks didn’t bring them up with the “world revolves around you” attitude as it’s irritating to other people. If you have one child, it doesn’t mean he/she is spoiled. It is pathetic to see someone who is 50 or 60 years old who was so spoiled that they gave up their own identity for their old, ailing parents.

@4 – Even though kids may not be involved in the family budget, I think the point the author was trying to make is that kids are very aware of the family budget/household finance in general and if they see/hear parents worrying about it, the kids will too. It’s easy for kids to get scared about money. Growing up, there was no budget because my mom had $0 to budget, and I was very aware of that and it was scary. My husband and I are being very careful to avoid that for our child.

I love the notion of her child deciding between a candy necklace or a gift for mom…what an interesting point of view and a very telling ‘test’ for your own children. Money is a constant focus for most families…and advice–suggestions from others–is always helpful to possibly bring about that ‘ah, ha!’ moment. Insightful Q&A, at the very least!

I was raised in a household always afraid about money and don’t want to ever do that to my son. He is only 3 and we are trying to teach him by having he “earn” “gold doubloons” by being helpful, picking up his toys and other age appropriate behaviors- when he “earns” 5 he can choose a toy or save them till he has 10 to get a bigger one- often he wants to save them. We live in a neighborhood where kids are all given cars and other expensive items and I am afraid what will happen and how we will deal with it when we get there…parenting is both amazing and also harder than I could have imagined =)