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as as he doesn't 'fess up to the fiancee. He'll continue to string you along, as a friend or possible back-up in case the fiancee doesn't work out, because he's not holding himself accountable for his actions. He'll do it again to her, to you, to the next. IOW, he's bad news. You appear to be trying to be self-assured and playing it safe with relationships, but you're not really in-tune with what your issues are. Therefore, it causes some insecurity. Realize that you have felt 'safe' being friends with this guy because he's older AND supposedly already taken. So you let your guard down. That led to a situation which contradicts your previous subconscious thoughts about him, so now you're confused. What you wanted to believe doesn't fit with the reality, does it? My best advice would be to cut off all contact with him. But since you have to continue working with him, I suggest that you face this problem head-on. TALK to him, say that what the two of you did was a mistake and never happen again. You appreciate his being a friend when you needed one, but in light of what has happened, it's not a good idea for either of you to be continue friendship. From now on, ask that he be just as any other coworker professional, HANDS OFF, no personal jokes, no flirting. And then rebuff him EVERY SINGLE TIME he tests your limits. And he. Let him get irritated or act like he wants nothing to do with you. GOOD. Your well-being has nothing to do with him, and ALL about what's good for you. Oh, and next time, think a bit harder about what attracts you to a romantic interest. Try the scenario in different ways (imagine him older, younger, married, with, poor, etc.) if it changes your perception. Laguna Heights

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