Me and Manly never raised a hand to our kids. There are more effective ways of teaching lessons. And apart from that one time when me dear old mum stabbed me in the forehead with a fork, no one ever raised a hand to me or Manly as we was growing up.

Since the last thread on this topic, I've given it more thought and have been leaning to the not-spanking side of the spectrum. I don't have kids though,and don't plan on it, but it's worth thinking about.

I've tried it all. Spanking, taken toys away, soap or hot sauce, sit in the corner, but simply talking and working out the problem seems the most efficient now. We'll be having a second child next May and I think we've figured out some useful tools over the last 6 years. I don't like spanking and it won't be the future form of punishment... neither will be soap. Hot sauce is a gimme though. I ain't raisin' no softie that don't like no spicy food! J/k

A wise person makes their own decisions; an ignorant one follows public opinion.

I have spanked my son twice. He was 2, and then 3. He learned not to push boundaries and to respect my authority. He was also wearing a diaper and there was no way the mild open-handed force I used was painful. Now that he is old enough (5) to understand reason to some extent, I will never spank him again. He cries just with thinking I'm disappointed in him. He knows I will take away privileges if he misbehaves. I will adjust my parenting as needed, but I will not use corporal punishment again - it's just not necessary. The last time I was struck with a belt was when I was 14 - to say it was counterproductive would be a mild understatement. Hell, I'm 29 and still upset about it. Each child is different and needs a different approach. My cousin-in-laws "take away privileges" and the 4 year old child is an absolute fucking terror, not his fault - it's the parents. He doesn't respect their authority. If he were my son, I'd have spanked him. Taking a hammer to a labradoodle's head and saying "Sweetie, don't do that" is not firm enough of an action.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman

(18-09-2014 06:38 PM)Elskidor Wrote: I've tried it all. Spanking, taken toys away, soap or hot sauce, sit in the corner, but simply talking and working out the problem seems the most efficient now. We'll be having a second child next May and I think we've figured out some useful tools over the last 6 years. I don't like spanking and it won't be the future form of punishment... neither will be soap. Hot sauce is a gimme though. I ain't raisin' no softie that don't like no spicy food! J/k

Well, I donno about the hot sauce. I could hardly stand pepper until I was a teenager.

I have 6 brothers and one sisters and my dad would try to spank my brothers who are all older that I am but there were just too many of them so he gave up. I was never spanked because I'm the youngest and my parents were too worn out by the time I came along. They simply ran out of energy.

With my youngest daughter, she was as cute as a bugs ear but would start screaming about something when she was four and just wouldn't shut up. So water splashed in the face worked. I did that about three times and she stopped doing that. I never spanked her though.

My mother warned me that it's natural to sometimes want to throw your kids out the window. Every parent feels this was from time to time. I'm glad she told me that because, sure enough, I did want to throw them out the window a few times.

I took a psychology class in college and the subject of spanking came up. The professor did not agree with spanking and asked students if we knew of any situation where spanking was warranted."

I was the only responder to her question. I said, "it's warranted when the life of the child is endangered."

I presented her with this scenario:

Little 6 year old Danielle is ADHD and subject to temper tantrums, and her mother is in the busy parking lot of a grocery store doing her best to get her three children and the groceries to the car. Mom has the children under control when suddenly Danielle gets mad at her mom and says she is going back into the store because her mom forgot something. Mom says no, and Danielle just runs off straight in the path of a car.

Mom is terrified the car will hit Danielle. But alas, Danielle is safe. She could have been killed, maimed for life, or seriously hurt. Mom realizes in order to get Danielle to listen, and quickly, and hopefully keep her from getting hurt, she needs to take desperate action and make Danielle fear the wrath of Mom. Mom spanks her a good one in front of everyone on that parking lot, burning her little butt up.

Now, Danielle was embarrassed and hurt. A double whammy, but It worked.

The professor did not by it, but she could not come up with a way to get through to Danielle in a timely manner in order to save her life.

Danielle is now 38 years old and she never ran in front of a car again. That's my girl.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles