Abed: Don’t shoot red-haired guy.Bill: Why not?Troy: Something’s not right about the game, we just took out a guy who turned out to be a professional paintball assassin.Dean Pelton: A professional? Ahhh!Dean Pelton: That doesn’t make sense, why would someone who gets paid to do things be at Greendale?

Dean Pelton: Dean Spreck?Dean Spreck: Hell Craig.Dean Pelton: City College…Now I understand everything, now your whole evil plan is clear as day. But if you need to explain it to your men, I understand.Dean Spreck: It’s simple, Craig. I posed as a fake ice cream company, sponsored your end of the year picnic, and waved enough money under your students’ noses to provoke them to destroy their own campus.Dean Pelton: Who hurt you Steven? How could any dean be some mean?Dean Spreck: Oh, you haven’t seen how mean this dean can be..en.Dean Pelton: Wait, did you say “bean”?

Britta: But if we surrender our individuality to form a faceless regime, how are we any better than them?Vicky: You’re the worst!Britta: Okay, she is just saying that to fit in.

Troy: Yeah, but we still might have a chance to hit ’em where it hurts.Leonard: Their balls?Troy: No.Leonard: Just below their balls?Troy: Their wallet, Leonard.Leonard: I think it’s called a taint.

Jeff: I don’t step up to being leader, Troy. I reluctantly accept it when it’s thrust upon me.

Troy: Magnitude!Magnitude: Pop…P…Troy: Pop what? Pop What? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY!? POP WHAT MAGNITUDE?

Garret: I don’t take orders from girls, because they don’t talk to me.

Troy: They’re right on our tail, Operation: “Troy’s awesome plan” is living up to it’s name.

Jeff: Squad B commencing operation “Actual Operation.”

Jeff: Everyone look alive. Leonard, good enough.

Shirley: Can we move this along? I’m missing CSI.

Jeff: Hey, Quendra with a Q-U. They can kill most of us, but as long as nobody gives up, somebody will make it through. Understand?Quendra: Yes.Jeff: Charge!
*gets shot*Jeff: Well, I’m old. We lost.Britta: See you at Denny’s?Jeff: Denny’s is for winners.

Leonard: Britta, I’ve been a few real wars, but this one is actually the most terrifying.