New Office Checklist…With Hearing Aid

If the decant manager showing the woman with the hearing aid her new office thought she was a little uptight, even odd, he didn’t show it.

“So, as you can see, you’ve got great views from these windows”, he said, “you’re here first so you can bag this space before everyone else! They’ll all be jealous!”

The woman didn’t seem that interested in the view.

“Do those windows open? Is that the motorway over there?” she interjected, fiddling with her ear. After an affirmation on both points, she had lost interest in the windows entirely and was now turning her attention elsewhere. “Is that an air conditioning unit up there?”

She pointed to the ceiling.

She was told that it was but it wasn’t currently commissioned. “Good”, she said, even though the ambient summer heat seemed to be bringing her out in a visible sweat. As she set about scrutinising the location of the only power socket next, she seemed to be inexplicably pleased that it was right next to the door, at the back of the room.

“Can you ask them to put my desk right here”, she said.

“This office is a lot bigger than the old one, isn’t it!” said the decant manager cheerily, noting her strange request. He’d have had the nice window seats like a shot. The woman gave him a strange look before striding alarmingly towards him.

“Eh?” she blurted, “What was that you said, sorry, I’m a bit, er….”

The decant manager repeated his quip, even though it had now lost a little of its spontaneity. The woman laughed in agreement and said she was glad she’d got in first to bag the best seat. The decant manager was puzzled, but went along with her enthusiasm. They said their goodbyes, but just as he opened the door to leave, she called him back.

“What’s that up there?” she said anxiously. She was pointing to a small vent in the ceiling above her prized new desk space. “Does it make a noise when it’s on?”

“No, don’t worry”, laughed the decant manager, “it’s not making any noise, that system’s been decommissioned”.

“Phew”, she said, “For a moment, I was worried it was all a bit too perfect”.