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Around the MLB, April Edition

There’s a lot of interesting news items from around the league. Here’s a little catchup from what’s going on in Major League Baseball.

METHUSELAH IN DENVER?

When asked for his impression of Jamie Moyer‘s rookie season, former President Abraham Lincoln said something about “four score and seven years ago…” and then left for Ford’s Theatre. When Jamie Moyer was playing in the minor leagues, most people wore an onion on their belt, because it was the style at the time. Jamie Moyer is so old (how old is he?), that when he was traded the first time, he was worried his new home in Texas wouldn’t have reliable pneumatic tube transportation or any good stores that sell spats.

On June 16, 1986 Moyer made his Major League debut, with the Chicago Cubs. It’s almost 26 years later, and Moyer is on his seventh big league team. He’s spent most of his career in Seattle and Philadelphia, with stops as a Ranger, Cardinal, Oriole, Red Sock, and now Rockie. Yesterday he scored his 268th career win, throwing a veritable gem — no earned runs over seven innings, allowing six hits, two walks, and ringing up one batter. In the process he set the record for the oldest Major Leaguer to win a game.

Moyer has averaged 14 wins a year over his career, which puts him on pace to pick up the nearly Hall-of-Fame guaranteeing 300 wins sometime in 2015. Don’t worry though, Moyer could very well do it. Seriously, this guy makes Satchel Paige look like a wet-behind-the-ears kid. Moyer could easily pitch into his seventies, impressing everyone except the re-animated corpse of Jack LaLanne.

THE ASTROS WIN A GAME, THE ASTROS WIN A GAME!!!

Former Houston Astros OF Hunter Pence, now playing with Philadelphia, makes a far more interesting pictorial subject than anyone playing in Houston now. Photograph by: Jeff Gross, Getty Images

Something really weird happened in Houston on April 7th. The Houston Astros won a Major League Baseball game. In fact, they then went on to win two more in-a-row! Can you believe it? I was predicting a 0-162 record this year, so boy is my face red! With a team full of cast offs from other organization, and a couple of prospects that have yet to be given the moniker “disappointing,” the Astros are likely to be awful this year.

Even though GM Jeff Luhnow says he’s not looking to trade Brett Myers, it can’t be long before the ‘Stros new closer is shipped off, along with 1B Carlos Lee and starting pitcher Wandy Rodríguez. One wonders who the other casualties of a fire-sale would be, but don’t be at all shocked if the team looks massively different come 2013. Rumours abound that besides the team’s move to the AL West, we can also expect new branding, or perhaps even a venue change to Newt Gingrich‘s Moon Colony. See the poll at the bottom of this post for your input.

COULD YOU PICK A MORE INAPPROPRIATE CITY TO BE PRO-CASTRO?

Marlins manager Ozzie Guillén, likely about to say something silly in this picture, hasn't jumped out to a great start with Miami. Photograph by: Andy Lyons, Getty Images

If Ozzie Guillén had made pro-Fidel Castro comments during his tenure as the manager of the White Sox he would have just pissed off a couple people in Chicago. But now that he’s plying his trade in Miami, his comments are at the most reprehensible, at the least just plain ill-advised.

What’s actually more shocking about this is that it’s not the dumbest thing Guillén has said. In June 2006, he referred to oft-angry Chicago Tribune writer Jay Mariotti as a “fag.” I am by no means qualified to be the owner or an executive of an MLB team, but if one of my employees had made such a statement they would be fired faster than Lou Brock stealing second. And the firing would only be partially motivated by wanting to avoid further embarrassment in the media. It would be mainly because I wouldn’t want a person with those attitudes anywhere near me.

By using Guillén’s logic of who we should respect, one would have to throw parties for Josef Stalin, Kim Jong-Il, and Idi Amin. Ozzie should maybe take take some new sensitivity training (and take it seriously), and keep shtum on all topics other than on-field baseball.

Granted, Bobby V has been thrown into a bit of a mess in Boston, but he’s not helping himself. Sure, there are weird stories of beer and chicken in last year’s clubhouse (what is it with the Red Sox and chicken, anyone? Wade Boggs?); the awful start to 2011, and nearly as atrocious finish; and plenty of media scrutiny. It’s also true that the team is struggling so far this year too.

But why go after Kevin Youkilis? Even if you do know that his head is not in the game, why would you call him out in front of the media? Does Youk strike anyone as the type of guy who would react favourably to a comment like that? I’d say he’d be more likely to show us shades of 2005, destroying water coolers like Godzilla goes to town on Tokyo.

Jacoby Ellsbury is injured for who knows how long. Carl Crawford is back who knows when, and will be who knows how effective when he does return. Andrew Bailey won’t be closing games anytime soon. It’s also questionable that the return of Daisuke Matsuzaka or John Lackey would even help the rotation, if and when those guys return. Maybe don’t make your job more difficult for you, Bobby? But for the front office, why the hiring of a guy with a .510 winning percentage, one NL pennant, and never a regular season finish better than second in the division? What, his record over two stints in Japan? Give your head a shake.

Toronto-based baseball blogger; lover of wheat beer and great vodka; fervent Secular Humanist; that guy you meet at a party who seems boorish and loud, then maybe he redeems himself, but eventually you... read more see your first impression was accurate. Follow me on Twitter: @LoRichTimes.View author's profile