Hay is a beast. You need it, and yet you don’t grow it. It’s like dog food, or wine, only in larger quantities, and in bales, that are kept together with string. Actually, I think we do grow hay. I’m not sure. Grass is grass is grass. We let one pasture grow until the grass reaches the hood of my truck and then someone comes and mows it (or reaps?) and bales it, and the takes it away. This always happens at night, like they’re stealing it. And they may be.

If you leave hay on the ground, and then put more on top, eventually you’ll create a carpet of hay. A mess that can literally be rolled up, with insects scurrying left and right for a new home. I have news for those insects…not in my pasture! I have some fly predators stewing on the screen porch right now. Fly predators? Yes! They’re in pupae form right now, but when they hatch, watch out flies! The hay carpet won’t even be able to protect you. I’m about to unleash a whole fleet of Blackhawks on Orchard House!

Hay is also interesting because it can be a fickle food. Some animals eat some, some animals eat other. Thank you Mother Earth, all of the Orchard House brood eats the same hay. Where do we get it? Top secret! I can’t have my supplies running out. Although, the true irony would be if the hay I’m buying is coming from the back field. It could be possible. And Donnie would be upset. But no more upset than when he found my secret art glass collection. But that appreciates in value! Hay gets eaten.

Today, the llamas sat down to eat their hay. Like they were chomping down into a plate of wings or something. No wet-naps needed. Baby Rose was even chomping a little here and there. She loves her hay. And her mother. And I like to think, me. Even if she does run away every time I come near her. But never fear, I’ll woo her with the hay. Because in the end, everyone needs to eat. And Orchard House hay is the truffle of hay. Our pig Bacon even agrees!