Longing for Dead Silence

I long for dead silence.
The kind of silence where you
Can’t even hear a needle drop
On the marbled floor at your feet.
The kind of silence that exists
In the stillness of the night,
Where there is the absence of
Hooting owls and chirping crickets,
When everyone else is asleep
Except me and my wandering thoughts.
I long for dead silence.
The kind of silence that cocoons you
Like the lilting notes of a lullaby,
Sung by your mother when you were still
Drifting aimlessly in amniotic fluid.
The kind of silence that speaks of love
Even when there are no words spoken –
The kiss on the forehead, the long embrace.
But, no, I could never experience
The kind of silence of which I so long for.
Because my kind of silence
Is pregnant with warring emotions
That are pulling at the arteries
Keeping my heart together.
My silence is a suicide note waiting
To be written on wrinkled notepads,
Stained from trembling fingers dripping
Unceasingly from wrists cut wide open
Baring milky white bones.
My silence is a cry for help
That nobody seems to hear;
It is a plaintive song of longing
That nary a soul has listened.
My silence is the silence of the masses
That smile their way through busy streets
And hectic days at work or even at home
To appear sane and unlonely.
My silence is the silence of the world
That cries late at night – snobs and sniffles
Muffled into pillows and weary bones
Burrowed into dampened sheets of woe.
My silence is the silence of the universe
As it weeps beyond the last appearance
Of the stars that color the dark of night.
My silence is the silence of the dead
Who could no longer speak and tell us
What lies yonder the fields of tomorrow
That have yet to come and pass.
I long for dead silence.
But, I could not escape the whispers,The murmurs, and the shouts that go on and on
In the screaming dead silence of my head.
I long for dead silence.
But, it refuses to unshackle me from its tethers,
Leaving me bruised, scarred, aching,
And warding off this persistent buzzing
In my mind and in my ears –
That won’t leave me until I’m dead.

*Feature Image Courtesy of Silence by art_de_viant, Originally Posted on www.deviantart.net*