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It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

Well, I didn't wake up dead. I still giggle when I think of what my German exchange daughter said to me day before yesterday when I said to her, "Maybe I'll wake up dead?" "Daaaad, you can't wake up dead!" haha

David,

I don't care what people think of that, I cracked up when I saw that fat life guard poster!!! I made me laugh, which I don't need to be doing right now with the pain and all that but, I laughed anyway and that's all that matters. It brightened up my day, thank you for that. And, I thank the rest of you for the funny stuff you're posting too.

Bob, morphine? I didn't get any morphine at all. They barely gave me enough pain pills to last me 2.5 days, taking 2 every 4 hours and those aren't working worth a crap either with the air bubble I have inside of me from when the doc fills you up with air so he can see what he's doing. I asked him if they removed it all, he said, oh yeah... Liar! That hurts worse than anything and take up to 2-4 weeks for your body to absorb it. Crappy man...

ummm YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Marty, you got me at a moment of "weakness" & I just so happened ...to be IN THE WATER at the TIME! [For all you "female" viewers out there THIS PICS FOR YOU! I also was a "Lifeguard" but . . .

ummm YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Marty, you got me at a moment of "weakness" & I just so happened ...to be IN THE WATER at the TIME! [For all you "female" viewers out there THIS PICS FOR YOU! I also was a "Lifeguard" but . . .

Diane, where exactly is this particular pool?The lifeguards around our pools sure don't look like this.....

ummm YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Marty, you got me at a moment of "weakness" & I just so happened ...to be IN THE WATER at the TIME! [For all you "female" viewers out there THIS PICS FOR YOU! I also was a "Lifeguard" but . . .

Diane, where exactly is this particular pool?The lifeguards around our pools sure don't look like this.....

hahahahahahahahaha Joy, I'm glad you SEE things my way!

Well, you've gotta keep your eyes open. Blink & you could miss a good male bod! . . . & ...Im gone now for a few weeks. Blink ...& I'm gone...just for a while. SEE YA WINTER! Back soon! a week or two!

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DELIGHTFULLY DIFFERENTThese are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!___________________________________________FREE PUPPIES1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.________________________________________________FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound._______________________________________________________COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.________________________________________________________JOINING NUDIST COLONY!Must sell washer and dryer £100._____________________________________________________________WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .Worn once by mistake.Call Stephanie.___________________________________________________________And the WINNER is...FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.(Statement of the Century)___________________________________________________________Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly."If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"____________________________________________________________Children Are QuickTEACHER: Why are you late?STUDENT: Class started before I got here.____________________________________TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.__________________________________________TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'TEACHER: No, that's wrongGLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.(I Love this child)____________________________________________TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?DONALD: H I J K L M N O.TEACHER: What are you talking about?DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.__________________________________TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE: Me!__________________________________________TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are._______________________________________TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. 'MILLIE: I is..TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'________________________________TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....______________________________________TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.______________________________TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.(I want to adopt this kid!!!)___________________________________TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?HAROLD: A teacher__________________________________Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Ten (10) Things I know about you.1) You are reading this.2) You are human.3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips.4) You just attempted to do it.6) You are laughing at yourself.7) You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone doesIt too.10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it.You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in theIdiot category.

Have a great Day. Laugh, and then Laugh and sing It's aBeautiful Morning even when it's not.