Embarrassing Things Kids Say

When my mother used to take my brother and sister and me to the Live Stock Show at Fair Park every year, I always wanted to go but was terrified by the huge animals.

When I was about five or six years old, one evening after we had been there, a member of my dad’s church, a very short, round lady, visited us. I was telling her about all the HUGE animals we saw. Nobody was paying me the attention I thought my subject deserved. “Oh, Mrs. A__,” I exclaimed, “we saw a hog as big as you!” There was a very uncomfortable moment in which the lady looked unhappy and my mother very embarrassed. She reprimanded me sharply, and I was crushed.

Only later did I understand that “big” and “tall” are not synonyms. I just thought the hog was as tall as she was and intended no reference to her weight.

A big thanks to my mom Frieda for sharing this story with us. Now as a mom I still see the humor, but oh man can I feel the horror my grandmother must have felt too!

Comments

Yikes! Actually, I remember my Grandma inadvertently insulting people because her hearing aids weren’t working. She thought she was muttering a fat comment under her breath, but unfortunately for the rest of us, she was pretty loud in her exclamation. So…the moral of the story is, it’s not just the kids!

When my son was about three, he and my husband went out to do some Christmas shopping. They were standing in line to pay and my son noticed a large lady in a white top and red pants and got all excited as he pointed to the lady and announced to all the store that it was Santa Claus. Hubby told me the story and also told me how embarassed he was that he couldn’t shut our son up from announcing his find. Kids are funny.

I knew of a gal (my mom’s friend) who taught 1st grade. One day she asked the kids to paint a picture of their favorite thing. Later on she gathered the dried paintings and sat down to look thru them. One of them just had a big green spot in the middle of the paper. Well, she normally would not ask the kids what they drew or painted, but this time she just had to! So she called the little girl up to her desk and asked her what she painted. The youngster said, “It’s a bean. My brother said that God is a very powerful bean, so since God is my favorite thing, I drew Him!”

My 6 year old daughter was at the hairdressers with my oldest, getting ready for an engagement party. Suddenly she piped up: “Did you know my sister has lots and lots of lice? She has so many lice, but she doesn’t get rid of them. And the itch her all the time too.”

Of course she didn’t have lice, and hasn’t had since she was maybe 5 years old. The 6 year old did have a while back, which we promptly took care of.

My daughter was dying of embarrassment, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. (“me think thou dost protesth too much” and all).