Posted 10 February 2018 - 04:18 AM

GENERAL INFORMATION
Name: Hoppers
Designation: Semi
Homeworld: Arkania
Language: n/a
Average Lifespan: 1 year
Estimated Population: Common (Bred and stocked by Royal-Z Breeds, the largest population will be found on Arkania.)
Description: Marsupial in appearance, large legs for leaping huge distances, long thick tail used to steer for running at fast speeds, big ears.

Bigs - Large, bigger than most species, semi intelligent (picture a smart dog), has natural ability to manipulate the Force for escape (Force Jump, See Strengths)

Smalls - Very small, can fit on most people's hands with ease, has less fur and hollowed out bones allowing for even more drastic jump heights (to scale of course)

Races:

Bigs

Smalls

Strengths:

Force Ability - The species was designed with a specific trait in mind, to produce a cuddly ball of fur that could leap all around and amuse children. As the results came in, it was found that they had bred a species with a decent population capable of connecting with the Force and utilizing it. They jump distances that their legs, which all though are incredibly strong as to be expected, could not possibly allow. It is believed by scientists that the Force intervened, assisting a species that might be easy prey, allowing escape. NOT ALL POSSESS THIS TRAIT

Leg Muscles - Even when the species are not using the Force, their legs can lift them more then thrice their own height at a heavy jump. Average they only near double, but to carry such a large body and weight - their legs are incredibly dense and powerful.

Bond - The creatures, as per the guided manipulations of Breeds, have a feature: a Bond. The first person they visually see, they bond with for life. Almost to an extent beyond the initial imprinting bond of an animal should allow.

Weaknesses:

Smalls - They are not able to bond. Their focus of Force ability has canceled this chance alchemists believe.

Negation - Their connection to the Force is easily severed in negation zones. Ysalamir, rarer metals, whatever is supposed to render the Force, will easily do so for them.

Arms - They have T-Rex arms. Weak, small, useless.

Tail - Take their tail out and they lose near all speed, and cannot guide their jumps.

CULTURE
None
Diet: Herbivorous (No known additional poison sensitivities than to be expected. Eat poisonous mushroom? They are gonna react as would be expected.)
Communication: Guttural grunts
Technology level: n/a
Religion/Beliefs: n/a
General behavior: They are grass dwelling nomads, very familial based, constantly spending time grazing near their families. Occasionally they can be witnessed playing games such as racing, a rough version if tag, even hide and seek. When allowed in their proper habitats, with all of their amenities, they frequently play with their large balls, leap about on their trampolines and like.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
The breed is a first time experiment with creating life. Utilizing genetic mapping of other species, scientists and alchemists all worked together to make a result they hoped fit Zorren's idea. It didn't quite, and yet surpassed his hopes.

Originally the breed was large, the Bigs, and generally peaceful. They never attacked when approached, playing with visitors at times. These were the genetic maps for the Smalls, which came with altering for size. There was now a breed strong enough to be saddled and even ridden into battle if needed, like steeds of old. Then the exact opposite, a tiny adorable creature much like a Pygmy Draboa. Plus each could do amazing feats.

The company however, waited a time before unveiling the results. Extensive time went into curing the species of their lifespan issues. None could find a result that would fix them all, only prolonging the individuals at a slight expense. With the most common dosing, one might get around 8 years of age - give or take for each singular case.

Posted 11 February 2018 - 08:53 AM

I see you edited this to add in some content after I put it under review. Try not to do that.

Force Ability - The species was designed with a specific trait in mind, to produce a cuddly ball of the that could leap all around and amuse children. As the results came in, it was found that they had bred a species capable of connecting with the Force and utilizing it. They jump distances that their legs, which all though incredibly strong, could not possibly allow. It is believed by scientists that the Force intervened, assisting a species that might be easy prey, allowing escape.

Bond - The creatures, as per the guided manipulations of Breeds, have a feature: Force Bond. The first person they visually see, they bond with for life. Almost to the slave and master extent.

I'm hesitant to approve a species that was engineered to have Force Sensitivity. Can you link to something proving that a species has been artificially altered in a lab setting to be Force Sensitive? I'm not even sure a bond is worthwhile with this species, considering they only live for a year.

Posted 12 February 2018 - 10:06 AM

Zorren Royal

Royal-Z Rules All

Character

21 posts

I think I get what you meant now:

You meant can I link to cannon events that are similar? If that is what you meant, I could link some that even happened here on site. The way I planned it was the genetic make up was made via computer, and the result is a breed that managed to be gifted the Force innately.

Plus, I believe, the aforementioned GenPals, as far as I am aware do the exact same thing and have had them approved.

About the bond, it's something the company owner wants in them. I was going to explain down the road he has never had family, blah blah blah, loves the bond. That sort of thing. It isn't even a useable ability other than fluff really.

Posted 12 February 2018 - 10:30 AM

The way I planned it was the genetic make up was made via computer, and the result is a breed that managed to be gifted the Force innately.

Again, I don't think this is possible. Canonically, making one Force Sensitive clone is already considered virtually impossible. Breeding an entirely new species to be 100% Force Sensitive doesn't strike me as feasible. What GenPals submission are you referring to that has this?

Posted 12 February 2018 - 12:24 PM

Zorren Royal

Royal-Z Rules All

Character

21 posts

This is a sexually replicating species. The first batch were chosen by the Force to carry the ability during embryonic stages. Post birth they exhibit the abilities. They are then carefully maintained via scientists, zoologist etc.

The bond could be attributed to such a herd mentality as well. Over dozens of generations, they gained it. Which is canon, if not in such a short time.

Ignoring the Force choosing it to occur that way, every bit of it also is grounded in reality. Look at their ability to hop as a mutation that was coveted by man, and bred into the species. Boom, now its the American Pitbull of Chaos. In embryonic development it too is possible to force changes, so the Force doing so should be feasibly not be too far out to left field.

I can make better wording to explain that in the post if that would be better.

Posted 12 February 2018 - 12:36 PM

You're telling me the actual living, breathing Force went out of its way to specifically choose this genetically engineered species that lives only for a year to have supernatural jumping abilities and the ability to instantly form a master-slave relationship Force Bond with the first person it sees? This species that just so happens to be intended as product sold on the open market as a pet?

Sorry, that's not an acceptable explanation. At all. Please remove all mention of this species being Force Sensitive from this submission. You can choose to submit Force Sensitive members of this species as individual beast companions later on, but I am not approving this species with unilateral Force Sensitivity.

Posted 12 February 2018 - 01:04 PM

Zorren Royal

Royal-Z Rules All

Character

21 posts

I don't know what to do here. This is literally a grass eating, really high jumping, Kangaroo. One intended to be used as a horse like equivalent. Well that and the small one. Is the other one going to be examined as well?

Posted 12 February 2018 - 01:48 PM

Please remove all the instances of the species being Force Sensitive from this submission. Here's what I'm talking about:

has natural ability to manipulate the Force for escape (Force Jump, See Strengths)

Force Ability - The species was designed with a specific trait in mind, to produce a cuddly ball of the that could leap all around and amuse children. As the results came in, it was found that they had bred a species capable of connecting with the Force and utilizing it. They jump distances that their legs, which all though incredibly strong, could not possibly allow. It is believed by scientists that the Force intervened, assisting a species that might be easy prey, allowing escape.

Even when the species are not using the Force

Bond - The creatures, as per the guided manipulations of Breeds, have a feature: Force Bond. The first person they visually see, they bond with for life. Almost to the slave and master extent.

Smalls - They are not able to bond. Their focus of Force ability has canceled this chance alchemists believe.

Negation - Their connection to the Force is easily severed in negation zones. Ysalamir, rarer metals, whatever is supposed to reader the Force will easily do so for them.

If you are unwilling to do this, you will need to request a second-chance for this submission. The thread for these requests can be found here.

Posted 13 February 2018 - 05:05 PM

Thank you very much. Prior to your findings though, I would like to toss out I am willing to work for my final projects. The only issue I had with the findings present, was being told the entire idea I had behind this thread, needed to be removed. It couldn't be edited, there was literally no way to achieve it. I couldn't even set it up to "stumbled upon the ability in a lab".

If asked I could even do long threads to give validity. I have readily in the past.

Posted 16 February 2018 - 01:27 PM

Force Ability - The species was designed with a specific trait in mind, to produce a cuddly ball of the that could leap all around and amuse children. As the results came in, it was found that they had bred a species capable of connecting with the Force and utilizing it. They jump distances that their legs, which all though incredibly strong, could not possibly allow. It is believed by scientists that the Force intervened, assisting a species that might be easy prey, allowing escape.

One of the usual rewards of the Codex Challenges is to be able to have a species be completely force sensitive. It is impossible for something that relies on the RNG of life to have a completely perfect record of 100% of its species to be force sensitive. You can state that some are force sensitive and they are the ones that are capable of doing the strengths for the race, but there has to be some of them being non force sensitive.

Bond - The creatures, as per the guided manipulations of Breeds, have a feature: Force Bond. The first person they visually see, they bond with for life. Almost to the slave and master extent.

Please change this from a force bond since not everyone is a force sensitive. Also because of the reasons above not everyone in the species can be force sensitive. You are more than welcomed to have this still be there, just ax the Force bond concept. This like I said falls into the category of "not everyone is force sensitive" to make a Force bond you have to be force sensitive.

One Year - During the inital creation trials, they made the life span incredibly small. This result, despite attempts to permanently rectify the mistake, has carried over. It can be countered with regular treatments from Breeds, but even the richest will never be able to allow their pets more then a decade.

The severing of a force bond is extremely painful, why would you want to have something Force bond with you when its just going to die within a year? Another reason why the bond needs to be edited.

I do not feel comfortable approving a species that was engineered to have 100% force sensitivity. So, the above changes need to be reworked heavily emphasizing on the force sensitivity. They sound like they're strong within the force and can control it(when you mentioned utilizing it). Is there a reason you're determined to have them be force sensitive? They would sound great without the Force sensitivity and have life bonds with the people they are loyal to also with them already having strong leg muscles they can jump already high. I feel having them be Force sensitive is an unnecessary trait for something that is just fine without it.

That is my suggestion, you don't have to remove the force sensitivity, but you do need to dial it down a lot. Especially because their concept is just to be entertainment.

Posted 19 February 2018 - 02:26 PM

Zorren Royal

Royal-Z Rules All

Character

21 posts

Bond turned into a more potent natural animal maternal bond, the connection noted as not being present in all of the species, and removed the one year all together. Admittedly, not sure where my head waz with that last bit initially.

Posted 20 February 2018 - 12:10 PM

The concept of their legs being strong and then being able to use the force at will is redudent. To be fair reading the sub several times over, the whole concept of them having the force has no benefit to them it really has any sense. Another thing, scientifically engineering them to have the force doesn't seem possible. Force sensitivity happens naturally, if I'm reading the sub wrong it's because it's not super clear. You mention scientist and such and it seems odd.

Also the one year is still there.

The more I go over the sub I feel it needs to be without the force because of them being engineered. The force isn't something you can breed so for their concept to work they need to not have the Force.