Do You Speak His Language?

Tips for conquering the language barrier between you and your partner

It all started in the sandbox. Girls tend to play with girls, boys with boys. The result? We develop different communication habits, says Deborah Tannen, PhD, author of You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. Here's how to break down the language barrier.

You Crave: Having him open up to you more.His Reaction: He clams up. To many men, talking about feelings shows weakness.How to Handle: Ask him questions while you're doing other things together, like running errands or prepping dinner. It takes off some of the pressure.

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You Crave: His full attention when you talk.His Reaction: He keeps one eye on the game. Many men interpret steady eye contact as a threat.How to Handle: Continue your chat. Even though he's not looking at you, he's likely still listening.

You Crave: More help around the house.His Reaction: Men often read requests as demands. Plus, most guys feel like they're already pitching in.How to Handle: A sincere Great job, honey! works wonders. Praise him for a chore he recently finished before asking him to do another.