Sunday, November 26, 2006

Smiley people

My dislike for smiley icons surpasses even my distrust of real-life smiles. Smileys (smilies?) are evil things at most times but what annoys me most is when people use them as a cop-out, to soften the tone of sentences that they fear might otherwise be taken in the wrong spirit. This is so cloying, and so cowardly. It’s like the silly little icon is sniveling on the sender’s behalf: “Look, I might be saying something vaguely sarcastic or provocative here, but I’m really all harmless and Teddy Bear-ish underneath, so please, please don’t take offence! Just love me, okay?”

[For an example of such usage, see the last sentence of this post]

It’s equally bad when a smiley is used as shorthand for dummies – to clarify that a certain remark is, indeed, meant to be funny. This is the equivalent of inserting a laughter track at the end of your own joke just to make things easy for The Undeserving Humourless.

Not that I don’t understand the need for this usage: I’ve complained often enough on this blog that people don’t seem to understand comedy that doesn’t announce itself loudly, that doesn’t come with a large signboard saying “Kindly laugh here.” My repeated exhortations that nothing I say or write is to be taken seriously (except when I proclaim that cats are our last remaining links to the Divine; that’s honest) fall on deaf ears. I write a jokey post about strange and wondrous births in the Mahabharata and the good people at DesiPundit classify it under “Society and Culture” instead of “Humour”. And later someone leaves a comment saying “To take mythology literally to poke fun at Hinduism is a bit sick, don't you think?”

[This means one of two things: 1) I’m so brilliant and subtle that no one currently alive can understand me and my genius will only be recognised 5000 years into the future, when I’m long past caring, or 2) I’m just not as funny as I like to think. Perhaps both.]

But back to the last point about smileys. Despite being grievously misunderstood in these matters, I refuse to use the smiley as a laugh-track. It’s beneath my dignity. Except in very, very rare cases. So a quick note for anyone I’ve ever sent a smiley to, whether on email, SMS or Comments: don’t preen. All it means is that I knew there was just no way you would have got the tone of the sentence otherwise. In short, you’re a pea-brained cretin :-)

Wait you're telling me your posts about the Mahabharat are meant to be funny?? Does this mean my plan to give all my sour old aunts back in India bottles of cheap vinegar telling them it's 'traditional' won't work?

Don't we smile when saying something or say something with a straight face. I mean what we convey is always a mix of our emotions(and expressions) and what we actually say.Yeah, while writing one can also show all the emotions inside but not everybody is a writer and not always one writes a full paragraph when a line and a smiley can do the trick...so at times a smiley is quite handy.

But then classifying every human emotion by the use of a few smilies is bound to create problems.

As for not getting understood. You are not the only one..http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/09/maybe_its_me.html

Neither of your two hypotheses is correct. The truth is that most people just don't read carefully enough, especially blogs.

I have a hypothesis of my own:

I remember reading this “nothing I say here is to be taken seriously” nonsense before on your blog. Does it titillate, the anticipation of people's puzzlement whether you mean something or not? Speaking of cop-outs, what does inserting your snide little disclaimer now and then constitute?

Everything one says is to be taken seriously. Because though the person lie or deign to jest, it is significant that he will do it this way and no other.

Jai: I've never enquired too closely into said aunt's fornicating preferences (I can just imagine it: "Aunty, you know Uncle, your husband, the one who looks like a camel? One hump or two?") but they certainly do congregate and sing during weddings, that is, when they're not offering to dhoondho ladkis for innocent young bachelors like yours truly.

Can't believe there weren't more :) here. I agree with Space bar! What is life without a :) or a :D or a :P or heck ne of the others!!! N sc what dya mean all this for a smiley?? Of course all this for a smiley. Smileys are Very Serious Stuff [-(

Ask your local confectionary shop for SMILEYS and he will hand you over a pack of frozen french-fries shaped like a round smile. Once your deep-fry them and dab in tomato saas, they make , and a damn tasty cholestoral-rich snack. ummmmmmm

Believe me - seriously, believe me - I didn't know that a ':-)' was a smilie. I swear I didn't. I have often got these in my mails and I have usually assumed that it's some sort of new-age urban Indian para-ender. You know, I have a colleague who never ends a sentence with a '.'. It's always '..'. Honestly. I just thought this was one of those things. Wow! You open up more things about our daily existence each and every day. Jabs rocks! This blog is a modern day encylcopaedia.

hey what about LOL ROTFL LMAO?? those do not bug you? When i was in Delhi, i used to be majorly bugged by CP, KNags, MH, SRCC etc etc... As for smileys, for people with a limited vocab (me?), i find them very useful

I've been going through your archives in an almost stalkerish fashion, and many of your posts have me emitting sudden, startling laughter sounds, much to the chagrin of both my human and feline daughters. This one had me going every five seconds. Only problem: I don't know whether I like the post more or the comments!

It's necessary to add that I'm a person who uses smileys every chance she gets (They're necessary if you're to navigate cyber space unscathed; they ensure people understand you mean no harm). Yet I loved this post. You MUST take a bow!