Sunday, December 16, 2007

You know, Cpt Mom and I are seemingly very busy because all we have time to blog about nowadays is random stuff. The funny thing is that in my busyness, I have accomplished NOTHING. Not a darn thing. And because I haven't accomplished anything, my thoughts just swirl about in my head. And then I type them out so I don't explode. Riveting, I know...

So, I am going to try and compose some thoughts into a non-list form.

What Not To Wear had her Christmas program Friday. We had a very busy Thursday evening and I assured her that her costume would be ready Friday morning as I put her to bed. I promptly fell asleep on the couch and woke up in a panic at about 12:30am. I felt pretty confident that if she woke up to me working on her costume, she would need years of therapy to recover from her mom being a slacker. And since I'm too cheap to pay for that much therapy, I got up and began working on her box (she was a present).

Because I apparently enjoy overwhelming myself, I decided to make not one, but two boxes. We had sized her into one box, but it was slightly too large and I wanted to make sure she could do all the movements required. So I pulled out a narrower box and wrapped that one first. I have to tell you, What Not To Wear and I hand painted her wrapping paper under the suggestion of her Grandmother and Aunt. I'd like to stop here for a moment and mention that both of them are A) more creative in their pinky finger than I am in my whole being and B) neither one of them live here. Pretty convenient if you ask me. Anyways, I cut out holes for her head and arms, and then moved to the second box in case the smaller box didn't fit. This is when I ran our of hand painter wrapping paper. So, at 2:00am I was painting various sized polka dots on white wrapping paper and adding just the right amount of glitter to "make it sparkle." Because What Not to Wear is FASHION people. She told me that last week.

Friday morning What Not to Wear woke up to the choice of 2 boxes and she decided on the smaller one because she wanted to make sure she could do ALL the movements. I have her try it on and it does not fit. We call Daddy down to fix it. He takes about a million years to adjust the openings. The clock is ticking. We are going to be late. I ask What Not To Wear if she just wants to take the bigger box. She insists on the smaller. Daddy finally adjust the openings and we try it on her again. Imagine with me the scene from The Christmas Story if you will...the one with the boy and his ridiculous snow suit. THAT is how she looked. All stuck in that box. Being the Mother of the Year that I am, I began to laugh at the absurdity of it all. What Not to Wear was almost crying, which made me laugh all the harder. All this to say, she took the larger box to school.

Her performance was absolutely adorable and she adapted her moves to her limited capabilities. She was all smiles and when I picked her up afterwards, she was already de-costumed. Apparently all her wardrobe was itchy. Honey, my momma told me "Beauty is pain."