Londoner's Diary: so Bob Geldof the Rat is not such a pleb, after all

When is a pleb not a pleb? And does going to a private school disqualify you? I ask only because of Bob Geldof’s stout defence of Tory MP Andrew Mitchell yesterday.

“I came from a poor Irish, not particularly well educated background and he does not,” Geldof said yesterday in a written statement submitted to the Royal Courts of Justice, which are hearing Mitchell’s libel action against the Sun over the “Plebgate” affair. “I am in fact ‘a pleb’ and he is not.”

And yet the Boomtown Rat is also a Rockman. That’s the name given to the alumni of Blackrock College, the Catholic private school near Dublin with a tradition of churning out influential figures. Politicians including former Irish president Éamon de Valera and Irish minister Barry Andrews walked the corridors, as did designer Paul Costelloe, writer Flann O’Brien and a slew of senior judges. Former Ireland rugby captain Brian O’Driscoll also attended, as did three of the current team.

Of course there’s also Geldof who, despite previously establishing that he did not enjoy his time there, can surely be under no illusion that it was your bog-standard comprehensive.

The Londoner called Ireland to find out if Blackrock agreed he was “not particularly well educated” and “a pleb”. “Sorry, he said what?” a mortified staff member at Blackrock said before passing us on to the principal’s office. “I doubt very much that we would comment on such things,” said a spokesperson through a curled upper lip.

Kenny's happy in the shadow of his missus

Kenny Logan, the former Scotland rugby union international, tells Boisdale Life magazine how he’s happy in the shadow of his sports presenter wife Gabby. “A lot of players find it difficult when they retire and find it hard having a successful wife,” he says. “I remember Mike Tindall asking me over the microphone at a golf event recently ‘What’s it like playing second fiddle to your wife?’ I replied, ‘I don’t know. You need to tell me’.”

All ears about a new royal portrait

A decade ago eccentric artist Stuart Pearson Wright was commissioned to do a portrait of the Duke of Edinburgh, only for it to be rejected after SPW gave him “a great schonk”. So Pearson Wright added a bare hairy chest, a bluebottle and a phallic finger on which a sprout of cress grew.

After that, one might have thought he would be banished but Pearson Wright was a guest at the Prince’s Drawing School yesterday for its renaming as the Royal Drawing School by the Prince of Wales.

Pearson Wright told The Londoner all his subjects were interesting in their own way. On Richard E Grant, “as sitters come, they don’t get much more narcissistic”. Of John Hurt: “He has this incredibly sorrowful face. You just want to sink your teeth into him.” What of a portrait of Prince Charles? “Watch this space,” was the word at the school. Given what he did to the Duke of Edinburgh’s nose, we dread to think what he’d make of The Ears.

Jewels? I’ll stick to some socks, Santa

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend — but socks come a close second, says model Amber Le Bon. She was one of the guests at the Steadfast Tin Soldier’s Dinner, hosted by Russian fashionista Elena Perminova and inspired by the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale. Guests drooled over the diamonds showcased in the Sybarite Jewellery collection.

Champagne flutes tinkled and display cases twinkled as a banquet of halibut, wild mushrooms and mango tarte tatin was laid on but Le Bon said she had her feet on the ground.

“All I want for Christmas is socks”, the daughter of Duran Duran’s Simon Le Bon confided. “My sisters are always stealing mine. If Santa tucks one of these necklaces inside a pair on Christmas day, I’ll be a very happy girl — but at a pinch I’ll just take the socks.”

Pretty in pink: Elena Perminova (Picture: Dave Benett)

Sherlock even makes poets swoon

From the moment he appeared on our TV screens in that long, Sherlockian coat, Benedict Cumberbatch has inspired memes, tumblrs and reams of slash fiction. But literary verse? Not until now.

Flicking through the latest copy of the London Review of Books, The Londoner was amazed to stumble across an erudite piece of love poetry in praise of the high-cheek-boned actor. “Thinking of Benedict/Cumberbatch and his mind/(stay with me),” writes Jana Prikryl, a senior editor at sister publication the New York Review of Books. “I resolved/on the importance/of character, specifically/as a function of the celebrity/interview: that it’s not his face/propelled him into the skin/of a matinée idol but/his quips and winning/earnest wish to answer/every question,/and be very very nice.”

The poem, Ars Poetica — a nod to The Art of Poetry by the Roman poet Horace — concludes with Prikryl wistfully imagining herself as “the second-last person at a party/with Benedict Cumberbatch” and engaging in a seductive battle of wits, making a point “he’d find worth debating,/call a very good question,/before proposing we spare/each other the embarrassment/of being the last/and leave in unison”.

Perhaps that is how Cumberbatch hit it off with his fiancée Sophie Hunter. The Londoner hopes Prikryl hasn’t taken the news too hard. There ain’t no muse like unrequited love.

Judi's not one for the big screen

Actress Judi Dench’s new book Behind the Scenes is a word-and-pictures memoir of her career. The one thing The Londoner learned from it is this: don’t ask her to join you at the cinema. Writing on The Shipping News, she says: “I’ve never seen the film.” On The Chronicles of Riddick: “I’ve never seen [it].” And My Week With Marilyn? “I still haven’t seen it.” A pattern begins to emerge.

Pop go the philosophers

Forget the political protesters camping outside St Paul’s — this year it’s all about the philosophers. Tomorrow morning at 9am the ancient School of Athens will be brought to life on the steps of the cathedral. Dressed in togas, modern day sages such as QI’s John Lloyd, the mathematician Alex Bellos and the Idler Academy’s Tom Hodgkinson will be offering free classes all morning, each in the character of a different classical philosopher.

“Has Harry Styles been sent an invitation?” asked The Londoner. “Who?” said a puzzled Hodgkinson. “He’s a huge fan of Greek philosophy,” we explained. “Ah,” said Hodgkinson. “Well, in that case we’d like to warmly welcome Mr Styles — is his band called One Direction? — to come and meet Aristotle and Socrates in person.”

T-shirt slogan of the day... spotted on a young woman at the Cambridge Folk Festival, via today’s Guardian letters pages: “Like Beowulf, I am impossible to date.”

Christy's a model mother

Christy Turlington Burns is on the cover of the new issue of Porter Magazine, but she has spent years proving that she’s not just a pretty face. The supermodel is the founder of maternal healthy organisation Every Mother Counts, which was toasted by Porter at the Bulgari Hotel before a dinner at Mr Chow.

After Bob Geldof criticised singer Adele for not participating in Band Aid, journalist Bryony Gordon has complained that the concept of celebrity charity partnerships is flawed, and Turlington Burns shares such concerns. “I am sometimes suspicious of people, because there is a whole industry behind putting people and causes together,” she told The Londoner. “I’m proud to say that I’ve never been one of those people. I’d had complications with my own pregnancy so I had a personal connection. When you talk about something authentically, it resonates. You can feel the difference when someone has that.”