You gotta wonder what lead up to the creation of this sign at a Dunkin Donuts in Bushwick (a DMZ-esque area of Brooklyn being penetrated by the forces of gentrification) covering every possible angle of not giving you a cup of ice water. Maybe there were even previous versions of the sign that had to keep being tweaked as people kept coming in asking for a vessel of chilled H20. How might that encounter have gone? Let’s take a peek inside The Consumerist Miniature Theater Machine:

“Can I have some ice water?”
“No ice water, read the sign.”
“Ok then, how about an empty cup?”
“No.”
“Why not, it’s not on the sign?”
“Get out! I call cops!”
“I’m coming back with my boxcutter, just as soon as my friend is done using it to hold up struggling musicians.”Door slams.
“Damn, we need to make a more comprehensive sign.”