Thursday, 19 February 2015

An Open Note To Toinlicious

I had another post in mind, a crazy one at that so stay tuned
because it's all typed and ready for posting. In the meantime, there's this ChocoholicladyI want
y'all to meet. She's mean. So mean. Ya'll remember this post where I complained
about my weight, right? Well, she decided to reply me here. Let me just put this out there, listen, I don't enjoy people washing me and making my head swell *checks nose* I mean, no one
likes or enjoys washing right? Right *side eyes* That would be totally vain and we all know I'm
not er em vain *checks nose again to be sure I'm not going Pinocchio* so no, I didn't enjoy her wash. I mean, I did NOT smile while reading her open letter. I certainly was
NOT grinning like a Cheshire cat and all while reading her intro to said post. I
was totally NOT laughing my ass off at her descriptions and finally my insides were definitely
NOT doing backflips and shii *hides grin*. I was just reading with a blank face
O____O Now that we've gotten that outa the way, imma try that honesty mama
taught me. She's amazeballs and warm and fuzzy and funny as hell. She started out
with really cool nibbles and really went in #NoPunIntended hehehe

So a while back I
became more active on twitter and had the blessing (or so I thought at the
time) of meeting a bubbly lady called toinlicious. Her blog is wonderful and I
have enjoyed getting to know her through her blog. She is truly a bubbly piece
sugar, spice and all things rainbowy and her posts, no matter how random have a
way of putting a smile on your face (toin wipe that smile off your face, this
post is not going to be complimentary -____- ). She is the kind of person I
believe I would enjoy having as a friend in real life not just on twitter
or at least I thought so until THE EVENT. Yes oh! I have an issue
with the beloved toinlicious.

Here is how it went
down. I was jejely on my own oh when I saw a notification on my phone.
Toin had tagged me in a tweet with a link to her blog. I was all excited and
happy. The ode that I am I clicked on the link and went to read hoping for a
shot of some toinlicious sunshine. The post started out great. I was there
nodding and smiling (side note: toin I am also waiting for the
married peeps to answer that question oh. I am with you on the bbm sticker
thing. After I have laboured for my salary, I will now throw it away on
bbm stickers. Have all the words and emoticons in this world finished? hian)
then I came upon this piece of blasphemy!

“So I got a
UK size 6 dress and I’m sad because it fits. I thought I was a size 8 but
apparently, the image of myself in my head is somewhat distorted. Help! I don’t
want to disappear! I intend to do some damage this Xmas though. Size 12 coming
soon (Please don’t rain on my parade, teinks)” – Toinlicious 2014

O_____O CAN YOU IMAGINE
THAT ?!!! this young woman is sad and complaining because she fits in a size 6
dress. Do you know when last I fit in a size 6 dress? To my eternal shame
I am not sure iI have ever fit in one. Kai some people don’t know what they
have. TOIN! you have the precious gift of “inability to be fat” and you are
crying. You are trying to gain weight and be double your current size????
Somebori help me, this world is finished. In fact I am just speechless.
Do I need to educate this young woman on the massive disadvantages
of this path she is treading? On behalf of all card carrying members of
the chubilichubchub club I am insulted. Please feel free to throw your gift in
my general direction. All I have to do is sniff a burger and I can feel my hips
expand. I enter cold stone and I feel 5 pounds attach themselves before I
even place an order. Just one meat pie and gbam I have gained 6 kg. I am very
vexed. In fact I am beefing you here. I am here trying, struggling and fighting
to be a UK size 10 and this young woman is effortlessly a size 6. See the
insult!!!!! Then to add salt to an open wound, she is throwing the gift back in
the face of God!. Toin let me assure you, you will not disappear. Has Beyonce
disappeared? Kate moss nko? Even Victoria Beckham has not disappeared
(truly, at some point I thought she would). Please wash your eyes well and if
need be get glasses and un distort that image you have of yourself sharply.

My dear people this is
a classic case of “One man’s meat is another man’s poison” and yes Toin darling
I haff rain on your parade. :PHowever,
in spite of your misguided desire toin… I still think you are a rainbow in the
sky that is blogville!

68 comments:

Hehehehe She's just getting to know the Toin i love....i mean,we all love.*looks around for the wife* Anywho,if you like add weight,if you like disappear,i don't care.Camaro sef u no gree buy for me! Mtchewwwwwwww!!!

Kai, I hope she doesn't read any of my posts blackmailing God for bum-bum......but seriously this life is in different shades........some of us they find fat and some get fat effortlessly......I still dey find 5kg extra for over 2 years now.

LOL Chocoholic is really talking to people like us. I had a post about wanting to be fat too. If she sees that post, she will put person on full blast o. Beht being so slim too is.....lemme not start before Chocoholic grabs person by the ear and drag 'em

Kai! Its official, I am still a learner with capital L in the washing and setting industry.. :( Damn Ms Chocoholiclady is good.. She is like the President of the Washing company of Nigeria :).. Where is my journal, I so need to take notes.. :) lemme confess ehn Egbon, me sef was blushing (and I am even still blushing as i type this) on your behalf.. lmao! These lines had me in iron stitches: “inability to be fat” + "All I have to do is sniff a burger and I can feel my hips expand" + and that cold stone one was heavenly Epic.. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt.. Kai **With all due respect Egbon.. You see?! It is not a crime to be one of us.. to be lekpa like Bonga fish after all.. Embrace ya Calling Egbon.. xx

its funny yeah Toin, how what we dont want is what another is dying for, so i am learning to kick of my shoes and accept and appreciate my life for what it is with an anticipation to become a better ME and not a better THEM... Maybe that way yeah, I actually get to live and enjoy life as it is... Mehn Toin she is good.. and this closing line was frosh like that.. "I still think you are a rainbow in the sky that is blogville!" and to that the crowd goes.. Awwwwgghhhh.. Cheers

Oya **Shines teeth. Bragging rights time:

Dear Everybody,

You see the lady they washed above?! the Lekpa one thats is planing to disappear called Toinlicious?! She is my Egbon and i love her to the moon and back. Check that... **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. :) ooossshhheey!

OH MY!!! you people have slayed me with your comments. ROTFL!!! As for those trying to gain weight, the only reason you are still on the mission is that you are yet to dance the atilogwu dance just because you want to fit into a pair of jeans. As for my fellow brothers and sisters in the weight loss/control struggle, the LORD IS OUR MUSCLE (No not FAT, just MUSCLE) AND STRENGTH. Our testimony is on the way (someone shout a big AMEN!) :D

i am petite and while that has its cute upsides, it can be annoying to lose more weight. For me, it so happens that when i lose weight, it happens all round which includes precious body parts like the bum. *NO..No..Don't gimme that look* I don't want my jeans to be empty or to shapen bust areas of clothes that once fit so forgive us sometimes if we want just a little flesh added to our bodies. P.S- Judge me not. This is the heart cry of a petite babe with recent wardrobe wahala...And yes, I don't want to disappear. LmaoP.S.S- Y'all shouldn't flog me oo

Toinlicious... I have never had an issue with gaining weight... I'm like Chocoholiclady... I see food and I gain weight... I do understand loving your curves as I have come to love all of mine ... however; I wouldn't want to eat more to gain them back :-) ... Although I highly doubt I would have to do that as I'm quite curvy no matter what size I am. (I must say I don't like losing my bust size, thankfully they didn't get too small with my weight loss) xox

blessings...girl i wanna say so muchbut i pause and simply say, health and strength are two of your most precious gift, enjoy it and live. There are worst things that being smaller than a size 6.As for me, i haven't been a size 6 since i was 6, if i could pass you some of what i got, i'd gladly.Let me have a conversation with God, we'd see how that goes, if you start to fill out, you'd know its been answered.

Madam Toin. Please come and collect weight jare. If you want to be size 16 sef I have enough for you and even after dashing you I'd still be chubby. I'm like Chocoholic. All I have to do is drive by dominos and I start swelling. I was ill for 2 weeks once and couldn't eat throughout and still managed to leave the hospital heavier than when I was admitted.

Well well well woman have you ear? mo'ni better leave ya bori at size 6 o.but not to judge sha i sometimes think i'm too skinny too and want to add some flesh..but since God dashed me nice bumbum i enjoy my blessing and leave it there..lool.

Toyin please mind yourself.If you wear a size 6 and you are complaining, what about those of us who wear double like a size 12 and we are bursting at the seams so we don't wear a size 14 and every time we step on the scale we are begging for reduction, We struggle to suck belle make the dress fine, or conscious of arms and you are complaining.Hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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I'm a bubbly chatterbox, mostly sugar with a dash of spice. Life has dealt me some mean curves but i'm strutting those curves around like Kim K. I'm all about living, laughing, loving and inspiring. I love books, music, sleep erm lets just go with eclectic

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Unless otherwise stated, materials (written or otherwise) on this blog are subject to copyright and cannot be reproduced without written permission of the blog author who goes under the pseudonym - Toinlicious. All excerpts should be credited to the blog author. To contact the blog author regarding copyright issues, please e-mail toinlicious@gmail.com. Thank you