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Everyone wants to be lucky in love. But after years of wishin’ and hopin’ and prayin’, you’re still empty hearted. What gives, Universe?! Before swearing off the concept of love forever, consider that even luck takes some dedication and perhaps you haven’t been working the system properly.

There are few people in the world who know about luck better than Amber Rae. She lives life completely through chance, and recently gave a TedX talk about the Art of Being Unreasonable. Lucky for you, she’s recently cracked the code on serendipity.

One half of the luck equation is pursuit. In your dating life that doesn’t necessarily mean combing your little black book and desperately calling every potential you ever met. But it does mean opening yourself up to love through action. Pursue by putting yourself in the right position to meet the right person, whether that means joining a new dating site or putting your iPhone away when you’re waiting for a friend to meet up with you.

It’s not all about the exterior though; inner pursuit is just as important. Is your heart open to the possibility of love? If you’re on a quest on the outside, but your emotions are on the defensive internally, the luck equation is not complete. Assessing your boundaries and shifting your perspective on love if necessary will help pave the way for luck’s landing.

And if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of pursuit, don’t hide behind excuses like “I’m a woman and I want to be magically swept off my feet.” After all, taking action doesn’t mean pursuing him, it means pursuing love. If you’re not open to making small adjustments for the greater good of your heart, meditate on that. Perhaps there is a larger reason for your lack of availability on your morning subway commute than your addiction to Angry Birds.

The other half of the equation is perspective when you meet someone. Are they your lucky charm or merely a decoy? It’s easy to get swept up in the glow of just having met someone, but remaining mindful and honest with yourself about what you want long term is the key to recognizing Mr. or Ms. Right. And maintaining perspective means determining the difference between settling and experiencing differences that can be worked through together.