The Transvestite and the Church Lady

There she was justa walking down the street singing "do a diddy diddy dum diddy doo". On this particularly cold summers day in San Francisco, I was on my way to reharsal for my comedy show " An Eveiniing of Sigh-Fi". I briskly buttoned my green lamb skin over coat as to keep the biting wind from cutting me to the bone. As I hurridly finished, I looked up in time to see the crossing sign had turned and it was now safe for me to navigate around the 5:00 bumper to bumper traffic. I was only one face in a crowd of at least twenty that hurried to cross the street to be safe from the fridgid air. At curbside, I realized there was an arthitic elderly lady moving at a snails pace amid the now moving cars. I glanced at my watch and seeing that i was already running late, turned to her, extended my arm and in a clear voice asked " May I have the pleasure?" She was wearing a long black overcoat and a lacy sun bonnet that once upon a time( I could only imagine ) was white and clutched in her tiny hand a rosery. From underneath the massive brim were beautiful sparkling eyes of blue that shone with as much brilliance as they must have when she was in her youth. She was wearing long eyelashes that had been glued on so many times that the glue was thicker than the over mascara-ed lashes themselves. Her lips were painted a deep red burgandy that reminded me of old hollywood, now in ruin. She extended he feeble arm and smiled a warm hearty smile. As we crossed the street, cars swirled around us stoppong just short of flattening us into the hard cement. Upon our safe passage, she thanked me and told me her name " Mary Anne" and told me that she was a model. I smiled and told her that I thought that she might have been. " No, I am one now!" she interupted, leaving me to fumble over my now spoken words. She then asked if I were able to help her cross two more streets, to which I aptly agreed. As we walked... no shuffled down the pavement towards the market, she paused every so often to tell me of her many adventures. It took well over thirty minutes to walk with her two blocks, but in the end we learned we had a lot in common... She was a Drag Queen and I an old lady.