Tandoori Knights at the Vagabond November 19

A tandoor oven is a charcoal-heated clay cooking device used throughout the Middle East, Central and South Asia, and especially India to prepare scrumptious meals consisting of dishes such as rice, nan, and meat. A knight, meanwhile, is an elite warrior (clad in iron, armed with a sword, and bearing a burning hatred for dragons) who belongs to that chivalrous class charged with defending the eternal ideals of faith, loyalty, courage, and honor. So presumably, the Tandoori Knights must be a stoic yet secretive legion of noble guardsmen whose only mission in life is the protection and preservation of that most essential instrument of traditional Indian cuisine, right?

Totally wrong. Despite the motto "Cookin' from the same clay oven since 2009!," the TKs don't spend their every waking hour keeping watch and making sure no one steals the chicken tikka. Actually, these spicy and knightly dudes — Shrines leader King Khan and his buddy Bloodshot Bill — are just a couple of pieces of self-described "brown trash" who dress in turbans, tame cobras, and enjoy "eating, sweating, swearing, kissing (girls, not each other), cooking," and playing "Bollybilly rock" all night long.