I was pregnant for the first time when I was 29. I've always had a high libido, and my sex life leading up to that first pregnancy was very full. Sex was a huge part of my work. I had sex on camera as a porn performer at least four or five times a month and in my personal life about three times a week with my husband, James, who I've been with for 11 years. Then there were extracurricular orgasmic experiences at least five times a week (either with other partners or my faithful Hitachi Magic Wand).

I was very lucky during that first pregnancy; I didn't have any morning sickness. I felt very sexual throughout, and I was still performing in and directing a lot of porn. The further along I got into the pregnancy, the more selective I was about who I would let touch my body. In my second trimester, I had a new awareness around the placement of ropes on my body. I'd say, This bondage is a little too tight around my breasts, or around my midsection. It wasn't too tight pain- or sensation-wise, but I had an awareness about my child that was growing inside me.

I usually love a natural jute rope that has a good bite to it; while pregnant, I enjoyed some of the silk and cashmere ropes.

I love BDSM and kink, but it became more difficult for me to fully surrender into a scene. There was a little part of me that was monitoring if, for instance, a certain rope was putting too much pressure around my uterus. I'm a total rope slut, but the type of rope that felt good changed during pregnancy. I usually love a natural jute rope that has a good bite to it; while pregnant, I enjoyed some of the silk and cashmere ropes. There was a certain point, toward the last few weeks of my third trimester, where I became more conscious of my milk ducts and the importance of not damaging them.

I think my body was being pushed to such limits internally that external sensual experiences felt really good. My body was more sensitive than it was before; even the lightest touch sent shivers through my body. I loved having my breasts stroked and using oils and candles. A lot of things that prior to pregnancy I would think, That's for wussies, I suddenly craved. A feather would have been annoying pre-pregnancy, but I connected with some of that form of sensuality in the midst of pregnancy.

I performed in and directed erotic films and feminist porn up until 37 weeks into my pregnancy. I wasn't going to stay home and not work. I was strong, healthy, and had the blessing of my doctor. And it was important for me to document my sexuality and show that pleasure doesn't stop with pregnancy. I think often women who are pregnant and mothers are desexualized, with the exception of MILFs, and that is more of a fetishization of age rather than the celebration of sexuality.

My husband and I had some really amazing sexual experiences during the early postpartum period. Postpartum women are often told that they should wait six to eight weeks before having intercourse; just being told about this waiting period was a challenge for us. I love fellatio and oral sex, so we would engage in really hot blow jobs whenever our newborn finally fell asleep. We'd just ravage each other. I loved that.

I performed in and directed erotic films and feminist porn up until 37 weeks into my pregnancy.

James and I learned how to have intimacy in small doses; we're not having marathon sex. Sometimes we're in the kitchen before our child wakes up and he gives me an amazing kiss. There can be these supercharged smaller moments.

We don't hide that mommy and daddy love each other from our child. Em is aware that mommy and daddy need alone time. We respect each other's privacy; I always knock on her door. She knows that if she wants to touch her vulva she can do so in the bedroom or the bathroom and that you wash your hands afterwards. She knows to knock on our bedroom door and to not touch mommy's private, non-sharing toys by the bed.

This second pregnancy is totally different. I have a lot more back pain this time. I'm five years older, and I'm balancing work and parenting. Now a lot of my intimacy reserve and emotional energy is expended on parenting.

I definitely still crave a lot of sex and touch, but I'm far more exhausted than when I was last pregnant. It can be frustrating to want certain sexual experiences but to lack the energy to go out to a play party we'd wanted to attend. The biggest challenge to becoming a mother, in addition to sleep deprivation, was the shift in identity and focus.

I still masturbate daily and usually manage to connect sexually and intimately with James at least weekly. Our energy ebbs and flows, but our connection is greater than ever. There can definitely be some frustration when the sex we crave isn't always logistically possible, but that has also made room for all new levels of intimacy and love that I never knew were possible.

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