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Does it seem like there are no good ones out there? Willig you find yourself dating men and then backing out of seeing them because of various defects?

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This guy is too cynical; that one has bad teeth; the other anxiously spilled his Espresso Macchiato Grande all over his shirt. As Lori Gottlief describes in her excellent book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr.

Good Enoughwomen can be womeb, picky, picky when it comes to their suitors. This guy is too paunchy, too bald, too old, too young, or even too good looking; that one has hands that are just too small.

The Nof judgments spewing from this self-sabotaging belief are usually based on superficial traits. You may have trouble hearing this, but bear with me: You unconsciously project your own feelings of inadequacy onto each guy you meet or date.

The flaw in them becomes blinding, completely and totally turning you off.

And your reactions are nothing more than defensive maneuvers designed to guard against being rejected yourself. Then you wonder why there are no good guys out there.

I know, I know, this last part is not really you…. If you have this form of deadly dating pattern, you could have already thrown away perfectly great guys, any one of whom would have brought you happiness.

Commit to giving the guys who express an interest in you a Noh chance. Next time you find yourself getting turned off by something small, focus instead on something you like about the guy. Especially if he is willing to grow as a person. He could be a better and better match for you over time.

Diana is also the best-selling author of the acclaimed relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: Your email address will not be published. Hover or click the text box willin. Diana Terms of Use Privacy Policy.

Are you not willing to settle in your love life? I know, I know, this last Nit is not really you… Research clearly shows it is contempt that kills off love. Remember, love often comes in a surprise package!

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Diana Kirschner Diana Kirschner, Ph. Comments I do learn more from this website to strengthen my relationship thank you.