Obama Confesses to Voter Fraud!

The Worldnutdaily is once again breathlessly reporting the bizarre ideas of Andrew Hodges, the “forensic profiler” who claims to be able to read Obama’s mind by looking “between the lines” of what he says. Hodges thinks Obama has unconsciously admitted to everything but the Kennedy assassination (I’m sure that’s next). And this time, he claims that Obama has admitted that he stole the election through voter fraud:

“Obama appears to unconsciously confess on multiple occasions that in his secret fury he stole the 2012 presidential election – continuing his attacks on our nation,” Andrew G. Hodges, M.D., told WND in an assessment of Obama.

“But really that is no different whatsoever than in 2008 becoming an illegal president who violated the Constitution. This knowledge comes from one undeniable fact: we have discovered a new unconscious mind that continually quick-reads situations and communicates about it – as Obama reveals.”

Ah yes, that famous “undeniable fact,” which has quite a different meaning to wingnuts. To rational people, an undeniable fact means something so evident in our observations that it would be perverse to deny it; to wingnuts, an undeniable fact means any claim, whether supported by the evidence or not, that confirms what they want to believe.

“Obama’s deeper moral compass continues to provide guidance to America on how to combat his assaults. In his U.N. speech he repeatedly referred to courageous protesters. ‘They should give us hope… remind us that so long as we work for it justice will be done; that history is on our side; and that a rising tide of liberty will never be reversed.’ Repeatedly, he tells us ‘protest,’ ‘march for justice’ and we can become a rising tide. Citizens still have the power,” Hodges said.

Yes, of course. A string of cliches and platitudes about justice and liberty is obviously a confession. That’s an “undeniable fact.” Oh wait, here’s his “evidence” for that idiotic claim:

“One thing is for certain – if Obama stole this election he would confess unconsciously. We now review that possibility from his own mind, listening for his all-seeing unconscious super intelligence to once more tell us how he truly sees himself deep down. As I described in my book, ‘The Obama Confession: Secret Fear, Secret Fury,’ Obama has repeatedly confessed to his misdeeds of his illegal presidency and sweeping attack on America for four years.”

He explains his observations:

“On election night after initial voting reports declared him the winner, Obama once more unconsciously pointed to a confession. Before his anxious and relieved supporters, Obama spoke of his pride in his daughters but commented, ‘But I will say this for now, one dog’s probably enough’ – on the surface referring back to promising his daughters a puppy after his 2008 victory,” Hodges said.

“But stay with his spontaneous right-brain image. Understand he could have chosen any matter on which to comment and any description but his brilliant unconscious mind which always speaks in a symbolic right-brain language – and carefully chooses its images – selected ‘one dog is enough.’

“Read his confession that America has just elected a dog of a president – and once was enough,” Hodges said.

“He suggests that he’s dogging it as president, faking it as an illegal president in a second way now with a stolen election. That he’s a real ‘dog’ for such deception. The image of a dog further suggests: a pet favored by the media and blind supporters who would not dare to explore his illegality by birth or unfair election; that he will dog or haunt America for another four years because a dog also bites especially a wounded one. (And Obama is deeply wounded beyond belief.) Once again Obama unconsciously points to his deceptive anger and indeed he has bitten/assaulted America in multiple ways, both covert and overt, and plans on more of the same.”…

Further, during a Nov. 9 press conference, “Obama snapped at two senators who had criticized U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice for her erroneous declarations regarding the Benghazi attack. He challenged the senators to ‘come after me,’ not Rice,” Hodges said.

“This matches his hidden instructions in the U.N. speech that American citizens be prepared to protest unfair elections. In both his 2008 Fathers’ Day speech as a candidate and in his inaugural address he unconsciously instructed citizens to confront him as an illegal foreign-born candidate/ president,” Hodges said.

“Obama’s ideas continually reflect a preoccupation with unconscious guilt and a need to be caught and stopped. His behavior and decision-making around the Benghazi tragedy with obvious cover-up suggest more guilt – a need to be questioned, a secret confession of being a weak leader and a president who puts a U.S. ambassador’s life at risk,” said Hodges.

He said the newest messages shine new light on Obama’s July 13, 2012, statement that, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

“The symbolic unconscious message (with a deeper context of a potential vote scam) is not difficult to discern: ‘If I stay in business as president, it won’t be because of me. I’m not really the one who will bring about my reelection – others are going to make sure it happens,’” Hodges said. “His headline-grabbing comment has all the earmarks that he was warning America – attempting to shock everyone into grasping – that a secret plan was taking shape to guarantee his reelection.”

Hodges also cited Obama’s Sept. 25 address to the U.N., saying Obama was “confessing to his illegal presidency and an unfair election in 2008. In retrospect – now that evidence points to the real possibility of a fraudulent election – Obama suggests his brilliant always truthful super-intel was also looking ahead and confessing that plans were underway to steal the election.”

Seriously, this sort of bullshit should only provoke pointing and laughing. And I have to laugh at how the Worldnutdaily tries to build up his credentials and credibility:

A forensic profiler whose previous cases have included the Natalie Holloway disappearance and the O.J. Simpson double murder says Barack Obama is confessing to stealing the 2012 president election.

Yes, his cases include those famous cases. Notice that they don’t say what he actually did in those cases.

He decoded O.J.’s “suicide note” to confirm Simpson had committed a double murder. He deciphered the JonBenet ransom note from Boulder, Colo., to identify the child’s killer. He decrypted letters from BTK to predict that he was about to kill again – the only profiler to do so. He studied statements by Joran van der Sloot and Deepak Kalpoe to tie them to the slaying of Holloway. He showed how Casey Anthony secretly confessed to killing her daughter in 200 letters written to a jail mate. He even decoded Bill Clinton’s Lewinsky comments.

Wow, really? He “confirmed” that OJ Simpson killed his ex-wife? And yet, he was acquitted. He identified JonBenet Ramsey’s killer? And yet no one has ever been convicted of that murder. He predicted that a serial killer who had already killed several people would kill again? How incredible of you, Nostradamus. He showed how Casey Anthony secretly confessed, yet she was acquitted. Not much of a track record, is it?

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

andrewjohnston

He identified JonBenet Ramsey’s killer? And yet no one has ever been convicted of that murder.

As memory serves, he “identified” the parents as the killers, and we now know that they weren’t involved at all. Farah glosses over that part.

I can’t imagine that anyone legitimately believes this nut. This seems more like a case of people pretending that they have some sort of secret knowledge, thus giving them a sense of power and superiority. The catch is that this “revealed knowledge” is going to be ludicrous on its face, since otherwise it wouldn’t be a secret.

AsqJames

He’s got the “one dog’s enough” thing completely wrong. What Obama was really confessing to was having had an affair (dogging around). The statement “one dog’s enough” was a promise to his wife never to cheat on her again.

This is undeniable and self-evident. He makes the promise indirectly to his wife using his daughters as surrogates. His daughters are close female relations who he loves, but he sometimes feels he does not give them quite as much love and attention as they deserve. This proves he feels guilty about having an affair behind Michelle’s back.

Well it makes as much sense as Hodge’s drivel.

DaveL

Obama appears to unconsciously confess on multiple occasions that in his secret fury he stole the 2012 presidential election

Yes, if anything can be said of Obama’s fury, it’s certainly secret. Just like the secret fury of a potted geranium, sitting there on the windowsill, fuming and plotting its vengeance.

This guy’s technique seems like a cross between graphology and cold reading, with about as much validity as either one.

Randomfactor

Reading between the lines of how he singled out Obama’s “one dog” comment, Hodges has obviously confessed to serial bestiality.

Moon Jaguar

Gee, it took five whole paragraphs to get to Hodges’ sales pitch, “As I described in my book…”, the heart of so many WND reports.

Christoph Burschka

I…

I… I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Larry

Now who can argue with that?

lclane2

Since election results are so similar to last time Obama obviously committed voter fraud in 2008. Republicans are incredibly dense not to have figured this out and incompetent as well since voter suppression failed.

http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

I think my brain melted out of my ears reading Hodges.

Jordan Genso

I don’t understand. The President’s teleprompter can read his unconscious thoughts, and then make the words appear on the teleprompter for him to say aloud (since we all know he can only speak in public if he has a teleprompter in front of him telling him what to say)?

I say we force the teleprompter-ers to fight the unconscious-confessioners to determine which group gets to control the conservative crazy rhetoric regarding the President’s speeches. The contradictory nature of their positions makes it too difficult to identify whose irrationality we’re laughing at.

rabbitscribe

First the secession petitions (all of which I encourage everyone to sign) and now this stuff to make the Tea Party gibber and froth. It’s like Christmas every week.

Finally, I have enough written material on hand to read between the lines and read Andrew Hodges’s mind.

“Buy my book. It will support your prejudices and give you plausible reasons you can use to hide your racism for your hate of Barack Obama!”

roggg

As I described in my book, ‘The Obama Confession: Secret Fear, Secret Fury’…

I want this for xmas so badly, but I dont want them to have any of my money. What to do, what to do…

Tony ∞2012 recipient of the coronal mass erection∞

Dear Mr. Hodges:

Can you please read George W Bush’s mind next?

iknklast

I want this for xmas so badly, but I dont want them to have any of my money. What to do, what to do…

Garage sale.

NitricAcid

Garage sale.

GarBage sale.

Fixed that for you.

http://www.gregory-gadow.net Gregory in Seattle

I get the impression that Hodges holds deep philosophical conversations with his cheese danish every morning.

Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

Sure, on the surface Obama’s comment “one dog’s probably enough” clearly indicates he considers himself a “dog” of a president who’s “dogging it” and might continue to “dog” this nation. But if you dig a little deeper, with the right degree of perspicacity and psychological savoir faire, you’ll see that the subtle, implicit message of his words is that he doesn’t intend to buy another dog.

Taz

Hodge’s method really works. I’ve applied it to his own writing to see what he’s actually saying:

Obama’s deeper moral compass continues to provide guidance to America on how to combat his assaults.

I’m a pig-fucker

In his U.N. speech he repeatedly referred to courageous protesters. ‘They should give us hope… remind us that so long as we work for it justice will be done; that history is on our side; and that a rising tide of liberty will never be reversed.’

I’m a pig-fucker

Repeatedly, he tells us ‘protest,’ ‘march for justice’ and we can become a rising tide. Citizens still have the power.

I like to fuck pigs

coryat

Actually, that one dog is enough comment was about the Churchill bust. Churchill famously suffered from what he dubbed his ‘black dog’ of depression. Obama returned the bust of Churchill to Britain when he took office and attempted an act of displacement by bringing an actual dog to the White House. By this he hoped both to allay his own deep-seated guilt over the return of the bust and to reduce the racial tensions he was surely feeling. As the black man in the White House, the Churchill bust with its concomitant ‘black dog’ associations would have profoundly disturbed Obama; its return staged an attempt to quell his own angst. This is undisputable fact.

@1 AndrewJohnston

Without wanting to derail, what’s the evidence that exonerates the parents?

John Hinkle

Andrew G. Hodges, M.D., told WND in an assessment of Obama.

Ah, I see the translation issue. In WND, M.D. = Mad Doctor

Anyway, reading between the lines is bullshit. My astrologer, Victoria, told me. I’m not sure if Victoria is a man or a woman, but man is she good at showing me what’s bullshit, what with that deep sultry voice….

http://www.facebook.com/den.wilson d.c.wilson

I want this for xmas so badly, but I dont want them to have any of my money. What to do, what to do…

Bit Torrent.

Seriously, has Hodges ever done anything that was actually useful to law enforcement?

http://composer99.blogspot.ca composer99

Surely with a fine analytic mind such as his, a guest spot on Criminal Minds is surely not far behind for Hodges.

dan4

This reminds me of those goofy “body language expert” segments Bill O’Reilly used to have on his show.

GET PATHEOS NEWSLETTERS

Get the Best of Patheos Newsletter Get the Atheist Newsletter Get the Dispatches From the Culture Wars Newsletter

Follow Dispatches From the Culture Wars

About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...