Cool Atom Watch Hardly Tells Time

Dig this, perusing the product page for the Atom Watch reveals the lovely sales pitch: “perfect for pondering space and time.” It’s awkward enough to convince a person to buy. As a stylish accessory, the Atom Watch is top notch. As a timepiece, uh, it kinda falls short of expectations.

Here’s another gem of glittering advert copy: “The building block of mater, now available in swanky wrist watch form.” Wow, that’s deep.

But hold on, because the Atom Watch does tell time in its won unique way. Simply follow the electron dots orbiting the edge of the atom.

If you’re wondering where the hands are—they aren’t anywhere. The second is the bar originating in the nucleus (the green dot at the center).

Sad to say, but the Atom Watch doesn’t have any atomic powers with it. You can neither zap villains with gamma rays nor harness the power of an atom, scream ‘Kimota!’ and turn into Marvel Man.

Though not exorbitantly priced, the Atom Watch will set you back a hefty $119.99.

In other news, we’ve just learned that the Atom Watch is out of stock. Boo hoo.