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Funny satire stories about Aston Villa

Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert is never shy to try out new ideas. His latest being a trip for his team to watch Real Madrid in the hope that it would make them play like them. The trip didn't quite go to plan though when the team were turned away...

Football took a turn back into the 1970s today when a pair of flared trousers were thrown at assistant referee David Bryan.
West Midlands Police have arrested two men aged 25 and 47 over the incident. They were released on bail, and are expected t...

Fans of Birmingham's biggest professional soccer club today praised the teams massive '100% improvement over the Christmas holiday period.
Following a zero-eight setback against European Champions Chelsea, the London based Russian financed team fr...

England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed.
(Daily Mail)
Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings.
Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated.
(Daily Mirror)
If they go on the pitch thinking...

Luis Suarez agrees new long-term deal with Liverpool.
(BBC Sport)
He's going to racially abuse and refuse to shake hands with opposition players for even longer than originally expected.
Dutch international Wesley Sneijder is urging Inter Milan to buy his team-mate, 27-year-old midfielder Nigel de Jong, from Manchester City.
(Metro)
He also wants a push-bike, a packet of sweets and a new c...

New Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert has revealed his master plan for getting his underperforming team firing on all cylinders before the start of next season. Starvation. He said.
"Hungry players play well, hungry players want to get out on that...

Following the sacking of Alex McCleish by Aston Villa earlier in the week, sources inside Villa Park suggest that former Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas will be the new man in the hot seat, early next week.
McCleish was sacked after 11 months in ch...

The manager of Chelsea FC was sacked this morning after one of his pet snakes escaped its confines, wrapped itself around a young ball boy and squeezed hard, a spokesperson explained.
The snake, a Boa Constrictor, was one of many belonging to the...

Aston Villa fan David Cameron has expressed his regret and outrage after a late own goal by defender Richard Dunne cost his team 3 valuable points against QPR.
"That donkey Dunne has let the whole country down and ruined my weekend" stated the Pr...

Nick Clegg, leader of the Liberal Democrats, has wound up Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron with taunts about Aston Villa selling their best players.
Cameron, who has been supporting the Villa since he was 13, is reported to be incensed by...

Prince William has shocked locals in a Windsor newsagents with a foul mouthed rant about his football team Aston Villa.
It is not the first time the Prince, a diehard Claret and Blues fan, has 'done one' after his favourite players have been tran...

Aston Villa fans have made a complaint to the Premier League pleading for an immediate 'employment threatening' investigation into their clubs apparent rule breach after reportedly tapping up former Birmingham manager, Alex McLeish.
The Premier Le...

Aston Villa supporters' groups appear to be pretty unanimous in the view that former Birmingham City boss, Alex McLeish, who could be about to take over the reins at Villa Park, will not be regarded by the fans as a welcome addition to the Villa fold...

Spurs boss Harry Redknapp, and Everton boss David Moyes both laughed off rumours that either one of them would consider accepting the vacant Aston Villa managerial hot seat.
Which is hardly surprising, because many leading managers regard the Vill...

Aston Villa have taken court action against Rafa Benitez following a series of desperate attempts by the former Liverpool boss to find a new job. Rafa, who still lives in the UK, has been unemployed since being sacked by Inter Milan in December.

Arsenal supporters really got the hump with their team, their manager, and the directors at the Emirates as the Gunners crashed 1-2 to Aston Villa in their final home game of the season.
Two Bent goals decided the issue, apparently.
Disgruntled...

Aston Villa manager Gerard Houllier is expected to be discharged from hospital in Birmingham within the next 24 hours, but, say surgeons, he will end up back in hospital if he continues in his role at Villa Park.
SCAN
Villa caretaker Gary McAll...

Two of Premiership outfit Aston Villa's senior players have been disciplined following an incident at a team bonding day at a health spa last week.
Manager Gerard Houllier confirmed that "firm and punitive" action had been taken against centre hal...

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