Love Your Latex

Excuses: unfortunately, that’s what many hear when it’s time to put on that condom. Who knew a little latex could be responsible for sensation loss, erectile dysfunction or inability to “really connect,” or that it could even make sex unenjoyable?

The poor condom gets a bad rap, never appreciated for preventing that unwanted pregnancy or STD or even saving your life. That little rubber guy does a lot for you, so love your latex. Your sex life is anything but generic. So why should your condom be? Like your best suit, condoms are hotter when tailored properly.

Size always seems to matter. While a condom of any size can stretch over my entire forearm, I can understand the need for extra-large condoms (especially for the comfort of the uncut). However, saying that you can only fit into Magnum XLs isn’t impressing anyone anymore. On the flip side, LifeStyles Snugger Fit or Kimono Slims are great for self-confident types wanting a tighter squeeze.

The less latex between you and your intended, the more sensation you’ll have. Crown Skinless Skin thin condoms are ever-popular, probably less for their pink color (my favorite part) than for their sensation-packed performance. Japanese condoms are generally thinner than those made in the U.S. but are just as strong, as all condoms go through the same strength tests. The thinnest condom available in the U.S. is the Japanese-designed Kimono Microthin, a sheer sleeve that is sure to make its presence unknown. Other thin-as-skin Kimonos include extra large Maxx and internally textured Type E.

When it comes to receiver bonuses, ribbed and studded condoms solely talk the talk. While “ribbed” sounds good, the barely-there ridges are hardly felt in the inner two-thirds of the vagina, which responds more to pressure and less to detail. Trojan’s Her Pleasure design is more on point with a contoured head and ribs further down the condom’s shaft, but don’t expect a Greek-inspired sex-life revolution.

Trojan makes up for it with Twisted Pleasures’ contoured head design, which features a subtle but functional twist shape. The twist’s curves mimic that “come hither” motion popular with the G-spot; the roomier head provides more friction for the wearer.

Lack of pleasurable friction, condoms’ biggest downfall, is remedied by roomier rubber. Inspiral condoms have the most space to spare, but Pleasure Plus really rubs the right way with internal ribbing and a pouch that moves back and forth during penetration for mutual satisfaction.

Another sensation stifler is the lack of body heat transmission through condoms. Lube is a great warmth conductor, especially when placed on both sides of a barrier. A small drop on the inside of a condom before you put it on will transmit heat. Particularly great for those with latex allergies, non-latex condoms are also better body-heat conductors than latex. While polyurethane condoms are baggier, polyisoprene condoms (like LifeStyles Skyn or Durex Avanti) stretch and feel just like latex while putting you more in touch with your partner’s body. Many swear by lambskin condoms as, since they’re actually made from lambs’ intestinal membranes, they feel most “natural.” However, small pores make lambskins ineffective protection against STDs and HIV, though they do prevent pregnancy.

Lambskins got you feeling ecologically inclined? Opt for Glyde’s 100 percent vegan, cruelty-free rubbers, which are void of milk proteins found in other condoms. Available in regular, slim-fit and a variety of sugar-free flavors featuring organic fruit extracts, these condoms are made of latex from owner-operated rubber farms. The similarly conscientious makers of Proper Attire condoms donate proceeds to Planned Parenthood.

If you’ve got the budget to experiment beyond the clinic’s free condoms, you’re bound to find a love glove you love. Switch it up to spice it up. Feeling fancy? Dress to impress with LifeStyles Black Tuxedo condoms. Romantic? A dozen Durex Loves are better than roses. Conserving energy? Light up with Night Light glow-in-the-darks. Do some research with a variety pack (GoodVibes.com and Babeland.com have affordable pre-made options), saving the wrappers as reminders of favorites. Good sex is safer sex. And with the right condom, safer sex is good sex, too.”

Got a question about how to tickle your fancy? Post a comment online, or email Yana at editor@valleyadvocate.com and include “V-spot” in the subject line.Love Your Latex!