Brazilian will get new a medal after dropping his in the shower

The International Olympic Committee will award a new bronze medal to Brazil’s Felipe Kitadai after he damaged his during an accident in a shower.

Kitadai won a bronze medal in the 60-kilogram judo competition on Saturday in London and celebrated by taking it everywhere. The included the shower. He didn’t want to get the medal wet because, duh, only an idiot would bring his medal into the shower and let water get on it, so he bit it between his teeth. That’s when the purple strap snapped and caused the bronze disc to crash to the ground. It was left with a small dent.

The Brazilian Olympic Committee formally requested a new medal after the incident. Despite the fact that it had no obligation to do so, the IOC will give him one, according to a report in Globo Esporte. It’s no sweat of their backs: The medal only contains $4.71 worth of metal.

Still, Kitadai is a lucky man. Unless the medal strap was defective, the IOC should have told him, “sorry, amigo. You break it, you take it.” This isn’t some sob story about losing the medal in carry-on luggage or leaving it behind at the Olympic Village. It’s a completely implausible tale about denting a medal through foolishness. (He wore the medal into the shower as a joke and then bit it because he didn’t want to get water on it and then the strap broke? Why not just say his dog ate it?) They shouldn’t have bailed him out.

Or maybe I’m just bitter that I dropped my iPhone into a pool three weeks ago and my mobile carrier refuses to do a thing about it.