Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’

What is Shivambu, I hear you ask. Shivambu means literally “Water of Shiva”. So where am I getting this water of Shiva…well without graphics…I collect it each morning.

Shivambu in English terms refers to Self-Urine Therapy. Okay, I heard you gasp, just hang on a second. Let’s get this clear, urine is not actually a dirty, toxic waste product. Our urine is a by-product of our blood filtration. Nutrient-filled blood passes through the liver where toxins are removed to be excreted as solid waste. Eventually, this purified ‘clean’ blood undergoes a filtering process in the kidneys, where excess water, salts, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, antibodies, urea, uric acid and other elements not usable at that time by the body are collected in the form of a purified, sterile, watery solution that is urine. The important elements in the blood are not filtered out because they are toxic and harmful to the body, but simply because the body does not need a particular concentration of an element at that specific point in time.

So why re-ingest it, if our bodies did not need it. Well, for numerous reasons…
- when re-utilized, these elements and nutrients in the urine act as natural vaccines, antibacterial, antiviral and anticarcinogenic agents, as well as hormone balancers and allergy relievers
- it wakes up the healer within, which works on a mechanical level as well as an energetic level, healing all levels of body, mind and spirit
- urine is considered a supernatural, living food because it is a by-product of the blood and contains ‘life force’ or prana
- can take you deeper on the spiritual path, awakening and rising kundalini

So why am I doing it? Well last year when I was doing my teacher training, Natalia (one of our beautiful teachers of Ayurveda, Chakras, Yogic Psychology, and all round amazing, wise and beautiful person) mentioned Shivambu, and it caught my attention. However back then, I was quite hesitant…I guess I was not ready for it. Everything happens for a reason though…and this year when I was gifted a spot in the Yogic Psychology & Shat Karmas course with Natalia…she brought it up again. I knew this was the right time. There was no mucking around I was to start it the next morning.

Why I had felt as though it was the right time was because I had been trying different healing modalities all year and had done lots of work on myself (I had healed a lot of physical and emotional issues already, but I was still determined to get my menstruation back naturally – which disappeared during an abusive relationship I was in), and yes a lot did shift and change, but something still wasn’t right (my menstruation was still missing). I had a yearning for something deeper. I knew that the deepest of my core had been damaged…my spirit had been hurt…it felt as though everything had shut down…had been cut off. The different healing modalities were helping, but their approach was from the outside in…I needed to start deep healing from the inside out.

Day 1 – 30/7/13 – 04:30amWoke up easily, slightly excited. This was it. As I got onto the toilet with my cup in hand – waited for mid stream and then filled it up. It really dawned on me then, exactly what I was doing. I was about to drink my own pee. I finished up my business, washed my hands, and then came back to sit on the toilet (with the lid down), somehow it just seemed right. The anticipation built, as if I had just taken a pregnancy test. My body started to pulse with energy (quite strongly). I really did feel safe, and that this was the right time. I said a little prayer to the universe. ‘I am grateful for your support, I am grateful for your love, I am ready to completely cleanse, body, mind and spirit, so I can be the best human I can be this lifetime’. As I looked at the glass, it just reminded me of apple juice, so I just rolled with that, however as I brought it closer to my mouth, it didn’t smell the same as apple juice. The smell wasn’t that bad (as I have a pretty clean diet already). What was it that was stopping me drink this right now? My mind – thoughts of – this is gross, yuck, what the hell are you doing, this is crazy, you’re not going to drink your pee…but I choose not to identify with them…my hunger for higher consciousness, for depth, for deep cleansing and healing was too strong. I brought it up to my lips, and just started with a sip. Wow, I couldn’t believe it. I’m not going to lie, it is an extremely strange experience, but it wasn’t that bad. Natalia was right, it is a pungent flavour – like I have had other food that has been much worse than this. I was able to bring myself to have another sip – this one the flavour was much stronger. Then that was all I could handle. I poured the rest down the toilet. Only to remember that I should have kept it for my skin (for a face mask). Oh, well, there’s always tomorrow!

Day after day, it got easier. Now I don’t even think about it. It’s normal…well, for me. My make up is for energy to start in chakra 1, Muladhara chakra, and for it to work up (some people do actually start with their energy up the top, and they need to work down). So healing, shifting and cleansing of chakra 1 commenced.

I am currently working through chakra 2 now…I will write up about my chakra 1 experience shortly so stay tuned!

As Sri Swami Satchidananda explains in his interpretation to the Bhagavad Gita, (The Living Gita – the complete Bhagavad Gita /A commentary for modern readers by Sri Swami Satchitananda), the “Kurukshetra”, the battle field, is not something that happens as a once off event, but rather a constant battle within us; good against bad, faith against doubt, judgment against compassion and so on. This battle exists probably within all of us on a daily basis and probably even more in those of us who drifted away from religion and do not have this inner faith in a supreme power the same way that religious people might have. Saying that just because one is religious or a yogi does not necessarily mean he is enlightened and free from all sufferings or doubts.

Unfortunately our mind, our physical body and our heart and spirit have become separate. They no longer have the ability to converse, to listen and to respect the needs of one another. We tend to ignore the signs that are sent to us and end up sick and unhappy in one of them or most likely in all of them as they are interconnected.

Very early in the Bhagavad Gita Krishna tells Arjuna that his main reason for suffering is because his mind, heart and body are not saying the same things. He thinks one thing, acts differently and feels a completely different thing to the other two.

The “Kauravas” in the Bhagavad Gita represent what we would probably describe as “negative emotions and states of mind” where as the Pandavas represent the positive.

I was asked by my teacher to describe my own battle field which was an extremely interesting experience. I often read from the Bhagavad Gita and theme my classes around it and share it with my students but suddenly when needed to take such a concept which is so easy to understand as long as it is not imposed on my life, became extremely challenging and even paralyzing. Putting it down in writing would mean admitting what the mind tries so hard to ignore, to hide, to repress. At the same time there is even a deeper fear that the ego will take over and will not allow me to admit it all to the fullest and then there will be a feeling of “failure” and a feeling that all that I have done so far and believe in will turn out to be in vain.

I feel that my biggest “Kaurava” is Fear.

This fear has been a part of me as long as I can remember myself. I feel that is perhaps a “genetic” part of me. Since I was a child I heard the stories of my grandparents’ experiences in the holocaust which were horrifying. I felt that being “Jewish” was a curse as so many people around the world hate me for simply being this; a Jewish Israeli. Through the years this fear has expended to other fields of my life; mainly the fear of failing, of not excelling. This has often led me to completely avoiding experiencing new things / emotions / thoughts and closing me down even though I used to think of myself as an ‘open minded person’. My posture reflected this and I was shutting my heart to the outside world.

All my life I was an atheist. My ancestors have lost their faith in “God” after everything they went through, which I can completely understand. I was brought up with no reference to “God” or “Spirit”. When I stepped into the Laughing Lotus in NYC, about 13 years ago, it was the first time I felt this connection to my spirit awaken and since then it has been an interesting and challenging journey. Through Yoga, I learn to face these fears every time I step on my mat, to open my heart, and through challenging myself to reinforce and find faith in myself and in what I am capable of doing (which is really EVERYTHING). I am reminded of the connection to the spirit and to a higher power, whatever names we wish to name it.

I hope that this practice supports you somehow in some similar way as we all continue this beautiful journey called “life” and progress towards freedom and happiness.

“Each of us is a moving center, a space of divine mystery. And though we spend most of our time on the surface in the daily details of ordinary existence, most of us hunger to connect to this space within, to break through to bliss, to be swept away into something bigger than us.”

I don’t really watch television, but last week I turned it on, and Australia’s Got Talent came up. I wasn’t really watching, until they started telling the story of Tommy Franklin, and it caught my attention. As they were showing Tommy’s story through an interview with him – they had onlookers in the screen. These onlookers whilst looking at Tommy, were doing the ‘what are they doing…they’re odd’ facial expressions…come’on you know that face, we’ve all done it before. We pull these faces out of fear. The fear of being different, the fear of standing out, the fear of the unknown. When we see someone who doesn’t ‘fit’ the status quo, we react out of fear – pulling faces, laughing, making judgements, anything along those lines because that person is ‘strange’. Watching it you could feel the energy – they were resisting him (probably because it is a part of ourselves which most of us suppress and resist).

Tommy walked out on stage – and the reaction from the judges and audience, were the same as the first onlookers during the interview. The music started…Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders…Tommy started to dance. My heart melted. His dance wasn’t choreographed with steps, there was no rules, it pure expression, an expression that was uncaged. It was an expression of him – from the soul. The camera scanned the audience again. Everyone’s initial judgements and resistance towards him had disappeared. They were all infected by his energy – he radiated and danced with freedom, joy, happiness and love. He brought a smile to each person’s face – it is so infecting that you just have to move along with the beat and smile!

I believe why, the moment when Tommy started dancing everyone’s judgements and resistance disappeared was because it sparks the free spirit within us, that too, wants to be expressed. We live our lives so restricted and limiting, we supress our spirits, our soul, or highest self, our creative self – whatever you call it, we suppress it as we fear the judgements people will make about us, the fear of not being accepted if we were to not fit the ‘society norm’, we end up living life hoping to walk past unnoticed.

“I’m free to be me and so is everyone else.” – Tommy Franklin

“Many of us are looking for a beat, something solid and rooted where we can take refuge and begin to explore the fluidity of being alive, to investigate why we often feel stuck, numb, spaced-out, tense, inert and unable to stand up or sit down or to unscramble the screens that reflect our collective insanity. The question I ask myself and everyone else is – Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? Can we be free of all that binds and bends us into a shape of consciousness that has nothing to do with who we are moment to moment, from breath to breath?”

Some dance, some do Yoga, some scuba dive – the practice you choose is irrelevant – it is the dedication and honesty to it that matters. Each time we roll out our Yoga mat we are given this opportunity to really explore ourselves and investigate. Falling into this space within, that is without a judge, allows us to become conscious to our patterns, our habits, our thoughts…to everything. This opportunity on our mats allows us to consciously observe how we live our lives off the mat, as the way we practice each asana is a reflection to how we act off the mat in different areas of our lives – and then to consciously change and transform these patterns, habits and thoughts that no longer serve our free spirit.

“We dance to hook up to the true genius lurking behind all the bullshit – to seek refuge in our originality and our power, to reinvent ourselves, to shed the past, forget the future and fall into the moment feet first.”

If your dance is on the mat, may it build you the courage to take your dance off the mat, bringing this freedom into all aspects of your life.

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.

One of the first lessons on my spiritual path was that I am the creator of my own reality…my own life. Yes you read that right, we are the creators! Powerful stuff, huh?! But it is true – we do create our reality – the state of our health, happiness and each situation we find ourselves in, were created and manifested by us, by each thought, each word and each action we made, consciously or unconsciously.

“‘I once knew a guy like you. I met him on a construction site in the Midwest. When the lunch whistle blew, all the workers would sit down together to eat. And every day, Sam would open his lunch pail and start to complain. ‘Son of a gun!’ he’d cry, ‘not peanut butter and jelly sandwiches again. I hate peanut butter and jelly!’ He whined about his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches day after day, until one of the guys on the work crew finally said ‘Fer crissakes Sam, if you hate peanut butter and jelly so much, why don’t you just tell yer ol’lady to make you something different?’ ‘What do you mean my ol’lady?’ Sam replied. ‘I’m not married. I make my own sandwiches.’” – story out of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman

You see, we all make our own sandwiches. When we are running around, allowing ‘stuff’ to fill our lives, not paying attention to how we are thinking, speaking (internally and externally) and acting, we can find ourselves in situations and ask ‘how did I get here??’ Then usually, we seem to come up with some sort of answer – you know, blaming others for getting us here, it couldn’t possibly be us who actually chose this! But in truth, it was us. It is us who have chosen it.

It seems easy to talk about this now, but at first this was one tough lesson. Playing the victim of life seemed so much easier to me, even though I hated my reality. It was easier to blame my ex-boyfriend to how shitty and empty I felt. It was easier to blame my parents for my body image problems, my eating habits, my wealth, my health – and everything under that umbrella that you can blame parents for, I did. It was easier to even blame my hatred towards my job on someone else (I don’t even remember who I blamed this on – but of course it wasn’t my fault!). And because I was dealt all these crappy cards, it was therefore their fault for my depression and numbness to life.

Once I understood that the quality of my life was my own responsibility, I started little by little to change my thoughts, words & actions, to ones that were aligned to my truth, my higher self – planting seeds that would enrich my life, giving it meaning and purpose.

Now looking back, I am so grateful to each one of these cards I was dealt, for they were not shitty cards but gifts. Gifts that have guided me to live a life full of meaning & passion. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be here now, with so much love and joy for life.