Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Q & A: Some tips on cunnilingus

My partner and I love to engage in cunnilingus, but I'm not sure I am doing all that I can be doing to please her. She is uncomfortable telling me what she likes or wants so could you give me some tips so I can be the lover of her dreams?

Thanks in advance,

Cunning lingus

Dear Cunning,

Communication with a woman is very important when performing cunnilingus in order to learn the appropriate amount of pressure she prefers. If you have tried to discuss this with your partner and she is uncomfortable, you will have to use her responses as your guide. Some women prefer not to have direct or firm stimulation on the clitoris until they are near the peak stage of arousal. Insertion of an object or fingers into the vagina or anus can enhance stimulation for some but is not necessary.

It is important to convince some women that you truly do enjoy what you are doing. This can be accomplished by the simple act of moaning or by performing cunnilingus when you do not expect reciprocation.

Begin cunnilingus with foreplay and gradually work your way to the genitals. The more time you spend kissing and touching her, the more stimulated your partner will become and her clitoris will be easier to locate as it will be hard and swollen.

Next, move your tongue slowly around the vagina and into it, lick softly around the clitoris, slowly bringing your tongue closer and increasing pressure as you come in contact with the clitoris. If your partner shrinks back at this point you will know to apply less pressure or to just lick the sides of the clitoris. Many women are so sensitive that they cannot tolerate direct clitoral stimulation. Alternate licking and sucking or use a combination of the tongue and lips.

Many women prefer to have vaginal penetration before they orgasm rather than continued oral sex. She will either tell you she wants you inside her or start to pull your body into position. If your partner prefers to orgasm from cunnilingus, this is the time to suck and avoid using the tip of your tongue on her clitoris as it will be very sensitive at the moment of orgasm and shortly afterward.