Conversations with waitresses volume 2
At a local Mexican restaurant for breakfast.

Mexican Food Waitress - What are you drinking?
Jess - Water with lemon.
Co-worker - Coffee
MFW - OK. You sure you do not want any coffee?
Jess - Yes, quite sure. I have enough bad habits without taking that one up.
MFW - Yes, I bet you do.
C-W - What do you mean by that?
MFW - I know him too well, he goes out and talks to everybody.
Jess - Huh? I am confused.
MFW - You don't remember me?
Jess - Nope, not at all.
MFW - Brandy, Stacy's friend.
Jess- (Stacy was a girl that I went out with twice, a year or so ago, she threatened to kill me on the second date, I try to play it off, like I do not remember her friend.) Not ringing any bells, sorry.
Brandy - Well, you two went out a couple of times, then you never called her back.
Jess - Oh you mean Stacy. Yes, she has a lot of spunk if I recall. (thinking - Damn I hope her friend is saner than her.)
Brandy - How come you did not call her back.
Jess - Well, I guess I did not see it going anywhere, so I did not pursue it any further.
Brandy - She is a nice girl, you should have given her more of a chance.
Jess - Regrets... What can I say?
Brandy - Do you regret Stacy?
Jess - (Trying to be diplomatic) I try not to look back at the past, life is too short.
Brandy - I will be back.
C-W - Great thanks.
Jess - Yeah, thanks.
C-W - Who was Stacy?
Jess - She was the psycho that threatened to kill me. Even held a knife to my throat one night. That took some skills to talk her out of that.
C-W - Wow, is that why you never called her?
Jess- You got it dawg. Would you call her after that?
C-W - No, I doubt if I would have either? How did she look?
Jess - She looked good when she was normal. Then the fangs came out, and it was not an attractive.
C-W - You find some winners. Don't you?
Jess - It takes some searching from time to time.
C-W - The one from LA that I met a while back was nice.
Jess - Yea, she is a good one. No knives yet. Knock on wood.
C-W - Any guns?
Jess - Naw, she is not into them, a big plus.
Brandy - Are you ready to order?
C-W - Yea, I will have the Burrito with Carne Asada.
Jess - Yea, I will have the burrito with Chili Colorado.
Brandy - I hope I do not drop it on your head, when I bring it.
Jess - Yes, that would not be good.
Brandy- Maybe not for you sweetie. (sly smile.)
Jess - (To co-worker after Brandy walks away) I hope she does not spit in my food, I think she is as wacky as Stacy.
C-W - You need to lighten up man. Take a joke. Why would you think she is crazy? She is nice and kinda hot, but not crazy.
Jess - Why do I think she is crazy? Have you ever heard the term "birds of a feather, flock together." I have had a lot of experience dealing with crazy ones and she fits the profile. She is another dishbreaker waiting to happen.
C-W - Try to see the good in people.
Jess - Have you lost your fucking mind man? I lost a set of dishes because of a crazy one like that.
C-W - (Shaking his head) You are a piece of work man, you should write a fucking book.
Jess - (Said tongue in cheek) I am sure random house would love to add me to their author roll. I would have to call it Dishbreaker Days and Sleep Walker Nights (Title courtesy of Penny).
C-W - You are a lost cause.
Jess- Indeed, but I have this GPS device, so I should be found soon.
C-W - (Laughing) Amazing.