Okay, i feel like i have been bitching a lot, but we all have been there, im just in pain. But there is something i have been thinking about for a while now, and if it doesnt exist now, it will in one form or another sooner or later.

I will research not for profit corperations tommorow, see what all needs to be done, what forms need to be filled out, ect. Once i find out what is required, I will post here, and we can all start thinking about setting up a time for anyone who is willing to volaunteer thier time to come to the chat room and discuss it there. The first step then would be to find some people with web experiance and start designing a small websight. That can be our base to orginising the resources needed to start a very small NFP corperation.

If nothing else, it will get me up tommorow. (not to mention allow me to return my library books)

I wish i was brighter, I could help you more. I'll do what I can, as little as that will probably be

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It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

My point is NOSMV is sort of a dead end. No offense, but beyond the forum and the chat room, all i have seen are exremely expensive retreats that happen ONCE a year, all over the COUNTRY, and though they have schoalerships, it is an outrageously expensive price to pay just for trying to heal. There is a very small list of therpists, no regional braches that i know of, no orginiztion of local voulanteer labor or major publicty campaigns. This place just isnt active enough. I dont see little NOSMV change jars in liquer stores or posters up in therpists offices. I havent seen any NOSMV fundraiser parties on colledge campuses, i havent seen NOSMV sponsered surviror groups. What we need is major legwork, and i just dont think i see the kind of effort that is really required to orginize a major charity here. I could be wrong, but a charity is a form of buisness, and it has to be run like one or it will not survive. It sucks that you have to sell t-shirts to get peoples attention, but thats the way it works. You have to get right in peoples faces to wake them up, like in the sixties with the race riots and anti war protests. I see sexual abuse of children as an attrocity, as bad as, if not worse than, any violation of the genveva convention. If all we can offer guys is a place to huddle together against the cold, then its just not enough. And it isnt like multiple charities dont exist for the same causes elsewhere, they stimulate competition and in doing so spread awareness.

I have to wait till monday to go to the library, its closed today. But this is something i am feeling serious about, even if we dont start our own, we could at least orginise some voulanteer labor efforts under NOSMV. And it isnt like we cant take our time here, thats how many great efforts begin, by peicing things together a little bit at a time until you have something bigger than what you started with.

That being said, i do want to take the time to thank NOSMV for doing what it has so far, it is difficult to orginize much of anything against the backdrop of the kind of resistance society is putting up. It is amazing to have done anything at all, considering the denial you must face. But i would like to think that every little bit helps, right?

My point is that we are eager to have people do exactly that kind of thing under the NOMSV umbrella. Basically NOMSV (and by the way, there will soon be a name change to one that people can remember) is run by a dedicated group of volunteers, and we have had to limit ourselves to what that relatively small group can do without burning out. We have had difficulty getting our membership to come aboard with help with our programs, possibly because we are from all over the country. But spread-out groups of small not-for-profits will not do the job any better. Why not come to the Board with proposals for the things you are talking about? (By the way, you would have to be a member of NOMSV itself, not just the Discussion Forum, for this to happen. Membership is relatively inexpensive, but for those who cannot afford this it is possible to do work instead of paying money to join.)

As far as I can tell NOMSV, VOICES, INNERMOTION, LOCAL GROUPS are all run by volunteers. No one is getting rich in these organizations and if it were not for the current volunteers, there wouldn't even be a website or a conference or resources. These organizations struggle because no one wants to put the time into them that they so badly need. These organizations beg and plead for people to step up to the plate only for people to say "not me, someone else will do it".

When was the last time you went to a conference? or maybe helped them in donations? or maybe when they said we need help on task xyz, you said I will do it today?

If NOMSV feels like it is a dead end place, than maybe each person needs to step up to the plate. If we keep waiting for someone to do what needs to be done, it will never get done. Richard and whoever else runs NOMSV can not do it all. They have laid the ground work and now it is up to others to move forward.

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In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

If NOMSV is open to suggestions and input, take advantage of it, Broken. It sounds like NOMSV is more than willing to provide you with resources to achieve many of the goals you mention. Take them up on it!

I worked for a small, just-started NFP. Startup is an administrative nightmare. Getting recognition, press, membership - these are herculean tasks. These may look like mere formalities, but they are not.

I hate to be the stark voice of reality, but the truth is very few people have any interest in how males are or have been abused. We fight an uphill battle of recognition anyway, we MUST stick together

I think i was a little too harsh in describing NOSMV. That was just my frustration coming out about the isolation im feeling right now. What i am saying is that i dont think another non porfit can hurt any. And there are a few things i have ideas on that i feel NOSMV would be a bit sluggish on, or just wouldnt fit the style they use.

First off, this is a long term plan. Right now i am only conserned with orginize interested parties, and if that means just working on some ideas to help NOSMV, then so be it. I also need time for myself, i still have very strict limits to what i can contribute financially and it will be a while before i can afford the 200+ it costs to file for a nonprift in california.

And as for starting something else, this isnt really that different than working for NOSMV itself. I havent heard of any real opportunity to be a PART of something in my area, so that means if i'm going to do anything, i have to START it on my own anyways. I really dont care how things get done and under whom, just that they get DONE. And i am certainly aware that this orginization has its limits, just like any other, it cant be everywhere, and its members have their limits as well, they are volunteers, and have thier own jobs, families, and possibly trauma to work through as well. But tell me why two heads arent better than one? Many charities have succesfully worked together to support each others causes. Two corporate entities, two chances for someone to benifit.

Second, i was thinking of orginising a websight, or even just an expansion of the NOSMV websight, specificly for the purpose of orginizing labor and directing donations and other services, and relocating people to OTHER resources that are availible to them. The lack of support groups for survivors isnt as bad as the lack of reference to them. If enough people pitch in, we can make as many local phone calls to regional areas as we can muster, then provide an extensive regional directory of services. Another idea is to form a labor pool, a section where volanteers can post the times they are availible to work and what skills they have. A chat room earmarked for volanteering could have meetings at at scheduled times as well as freeform discussion for ideas and orginisation. You could also earmark a forum section for NOSMV to respond to local efforts and to help people who want to help. This will mean a few bucks for the extra data, but are you telling me we cant raise a few bucks a piece for a reference that valuable to us? I'll send in five bucks for that a month, if you want, but i need to know what my money is being used for specificly.

Also, i think a good idea for a charity is to show where your money is going, to break it up into graphs and pies between projects and expenses. Do you ever remember what school paper drives were like? They always had that little chart showing how much money they need for what project. Show people exactely what their money is going to be doing and they will be more inclined to donate.

One of the primary reasons id want to form a corporation is the freedom of action to use your corporate status whenever and wherever you feel. Volanteer labor is by its nature flakey and unreliable. Thats why it pays to have as much central orginisation and authity as possible. The problem with a democracy is that things take excessive amounts of energy to orginize and gather the needed resources to get anything done. A non-profit corperation can have as few as 2 directors.

I am more than willing to volanteer in my area. I could post posters in shelters and clinics, i could distribute jars and cans to collect money at businesses and community centers, anything that i feel i am capable of, though i am suffering from clinical depression, so what i can do may be a little limited.

I have too much time on my hands that is going to waste that i dont know what to do with. I usually just end up getting depressed. But when i am active, i build up momentum. Sometimes i can see other people get caught up in it, but since i have nothing to actually DO most of the time, it goes to waste. So i am either going to try and find something to do as part of somebody elses orginization or start working on some things of my own, maybe both. But its one step at a time, you know? Right now, i just want to see who is interested in doing something, and try to get together. We are just going to be huddled up in a fetal position crying all day anyways (Jeez thats dark humor) If we have the time to grieve, we have time to do something positive too. Depression turns the world gray, i swear it sucks the color and vitality out of everything you see. Why not try and put some color back INTO things?

I dont see the need to piss on my idea either. I am not really upset with NOSMV, i didnt really mean those things, but why not show a little support for at least trying to do something? If there is something i can do for them fine, but right now i feel like the only male who has ever been raped in orange county. Isnt it understandable to be a little pissed off?

Broken, I like your passion. I am like you, I need to have things to do or I get bored and that is bad for me.

I suggest that we all get behind Mic Hunter's idea for a poster. See News area on NOMSV. In Milwaukee a pr company provided some great posters to be put up in women's toilets and other places. They were really powerful and had a series of messages like "you promised not to break her heart--what about her nose? Attached to the poster were tear off sheets listing places a battered woman could get help. Something like that might be able to put in men's room to get the word out to guys still suffering.

I think it would help for us all to think of ways to spread the messages that boys and men have been raped and still are. BUT there is help available.

The membership committee asks for help getting more members and more professionals who work with us. The job is to get people who are really good therapists. I know two or three who know something about our problem--the others did more harm than good. If you have a great therapist ask them to submit their name to the NOMSV. It costs nothing.

We must have, among us, men of all kinds of talents that could indeed help spread a great deal of info about us and our success. State and county groups would be great. I wish we had a bout 10,000 support groups nation wide. I'll bet NOMSV would help us get them started. I do know see NOMSV as protecting it's turf. I see us needing more activists like you Broken and Brian.

Dream great dreams and work hard to make them a reality--but if it takes a long time know that you still are a success simply for wanting to move beyond your own pain to help opthers--it is like 12th stepping in AA.Bob

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If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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