About Me

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dating once more. And, men have not changed. I was set up on a blind date on Friday. The guy had to be 300lbs/136kg, twice my weight. However, as we all know, I'm not a superficial person and everyone deserves a chance. Beauty is on the inside right? So the date went ahead. and the two of us went with my friends and his to a trendy night club. Where, instead of my usual dancing, I sat, and cringed as he drank more and more. As I walked into the smoking are, with 300lbs of man supporting himself on my shoulder I saw an old friend.

Shane was the biggest and most successful gold digger I knew. Not only did he live with one of Ireland richest young business men in they're terraced apartment in the hottest part of the city, he also got to flown anywhere he wanted. In the last 5 months for example he had been to New York, Egypt, Paris, London and Cannes. We exchanged kisses and hugs and chatted for a while, while my date tied to put his hand up my shirt. As I struggled against my date, Shane invited me to go to his for a glass of wine and then we could come back here.

So Shane, his boyfriend, me and my blind date, as well as two of his friends, went to the young socialites apartment. We sat on his beautiful balcony, drank wine and chatted about anything, mostly European and South American politics. To my horror my date drank more., He was already very drunk, and now I was scared. Shane pulled me aside and asked me to stay in the guest room. I accepted. The night could only get better... right?

The whole group of us returned to the night club and I was getting annoyed. There were many people I knew in the club so I decided to mingle. And I did, I gossiped, received and exchanged valuable information and caught up with old friends. Unfortunately it was a joy short lived. i was pulled away by a jealous date over twice my weight, he was unbelievably drunk and inappropriate. I decided to go. I told him that I would prefer to be friends and that he and I weren't meant to be. He pulled me close and slurred, "I have dated much more beautiful guys than you. You are the nicest but your kind of ugly" I was appalled. I felt like screaming at him telling him about the photo shoot I did 3 days before hand.

I left and I was followed. I figured it would be inhumane to leave him on the street that drunk so brought him back to Shane's place. What harm could he do? He and I were shown our room and I immediately went to the balcony. I stood overlooking the city and I was joined by my date offering a cigarette, I figured I was stressed so I deserved one. As we smoked there he began to speak about his ex, telling me how beautiful he was, a model in Brazil. i personally was shocked. When we finished and went inside I was happy to be in bed. Until three attempts of sex were launched. I got so angry that I almost hit him. Then it hit me! He was trying to put my self confidence down so I would sleep with him. He thought he could get it so low that I would think I couldn't do better than him.I realize now that ugly people can be even uglier on the inside. And its down to jealousy and Lack of confidence. However he and I were still talking. Until he saw me exchange phone numbers with another guy the next night when I was out with my friends.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

They're too far to bring them close, too high to see below, just hanging on they're daily dose. They never needed any one but the rolling papers for they're grass. The lead they're empty brains with they're hydroponic pot. I'm talking about drug users. Dating them to be exact.l And I am sorry to inform you that, as mentioned in the last blog, I have dated a few.

While watching my favourite documentary, Shakira "The tour of the Mongoose", I noticed that lyrics from "Poem To a Horse" were blanked, I have herd that song thousands of times as it was released in 2001. I for the first time realized that the song was about dating someone who smokes pot. I suddenly had a moment of clarity. I thought to myself, "this girls knows what she is talking about". I related and just wished that I realized what the lyrics meant 4 years ago, it would have saved me so much trouble.

I hate coming in second with a lover, even though its impossible not to, but coming in second to skunk killed me. I had a boyfriend who I was completely head over heals for a few years ago. I loved spending every moment I could with him. He loved to spend every moment getting high with me. Am I really that annoying? A solution to a problem in his world, get high, for celebrations, get high, after sex, get high. And whenever I wanted to talk about something serious, it was like talking to a brick wall. We had relationship problems, as all couples do, but our were left neglected and got worse as time went by.

Another drug user dated was during the summer of 2008. He took chemical drugs, ecstasy, cocaine, and even LSD. He and I got on great before he tried to get me to try some. He praised LSD, thinking it was God's elixir. I cringed at the thought. Whenever he was tiered he would take a line of cocaine. When we went out to night club, he took ecstasy. I was dating a man who needed chemical drugs to live and have fun. When you date some one and they tell you that they're dream is to take LSD and see God, you know that's when its time to say goodbye.

I'm writing this to inform people and I hope I'm not too late. Dating a drug user is like dating some one who is in love with your enemy, even if you are a user yourself. You always come in second, and asking/begging them to quit is like "reading poems to a horse". It doesn't register. No matter how much they love you its they're choice at the end of the day.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

*the following blog was written when I was drunk so I'm sorry in advance.

They say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", but, as I have said before "we are human, so we forget the bad". Did we forget the bad about our exes' and set our partners up for a fall? In my most serious relationship to date, which ended on horrible terms, I can say that I was bitched around, want of a better expression. However, I still find myself missing my ex. Lucas was abusive, he smoked hash constantly and was rude to my friends/family, yet now, a year on, I catch myself saying things like "Lucas was the best" and "I miss Lucas" even though I've been treated so much better since then and I've rebuilt my self confidence after he broke me down. Is it absence making my heart grow fonder, or is it me setting myself up for a great fall? Do I subconsciously want myself to be hurt in the end?

They say that we all have dating patterns, I wanted to know more. I looked into the dating patterns of a few friends. My friend John, who is always complaining about being single has an ongoing history of hooking up with bi-curious or closeted men who want nothing more than a night of fun. Yet still he doesn't understand why he is single, and blames himself. He says that these men somehow come to him and that he doesn't go looking for the. But are we subconsciously choosing them? Do we get some deep down satisfaction in proving ourselves right in the fact that we are hopeless in love? Or are we just that types type?

Questions can be asked and asked until the cows go home. No one seems to want to dig. Except me!

I found that no matter what John seems to find his way in attracting these men. How? Its simple really. On a night out he disappeared and the next morning he had stories of these men who just wanted a hand job and a feel outside a straight bar. However of he hadn't disappeared from the club we were at he probably wouldn't have run into these men and had an uneventful night out with friends. He still swears that these men find him.

I am no exception. Lucas was Brazilian. To this day whenever I see a Brazilian man I feel a compulsive urge to try and get him to notice me, in hope that he will give me what I need. This is not healthy I know, but we all do it and cereal dating is a problem. My solution was to break the mold, well have my date break the mold really. I found a guy who was gorgeous, funny and smart, but totally different from my ex.

He was polite on our date and had nothing but respect for what I had to say. I found him boring. In my head i was screaming "What is wrong with you?". And still the next day I found myself saying to my friend "He didn't have the sex appeal Lucas had". Wanting to know more I decided it was time to get to the source of my addiction and talk to Lucas. I asked his recent ex, who was also bitched around. He gave me Lucas's best friend, Alex's number. Alex told me, "Lucas is a smart asshole" and gave me his e-mail. The smart asshole never replied.

I figured it out. I like unobtainable, uninterested and uncontrollable men. I was the uptown girl looking for my downtown man. I shook myself up with a whole night of deep thinking and tequila sunrises. And my friends and I came to this conclusion over 2am Mac Donnell's "You will always love the one that got away before his time".

Yes Lucas and I ended on sour terms, but he and I had unfinished business and hadn't tied up all the ends, which left us with the "what if?" theory. In reality we would never have worked out, but in fantasy we were too beautiful to be. I am just happy to say that, unlike John, I am not a cereal dater, I just forgot to tie up my loose ends. The solution to this problem was not as simple as the words from the the drunken lesbian waving her cold burger in my face "Burn it".

Burn what? The past? No. The "What if"'s that plagued my mind. I had to shred them. Because we can never carry on a relationship with the past one in mind, easier said than done. Cereal dater or not we have to realize that the person we are dating now is different and we have to leave our expectations at the door and walk in as fresh as a daisy. And hope they do the same.

Monday, May 11, 2009

After a brief conversation with my good friend John in a chic Italian cafe in Dublin's new up and coming area, the dock lands, we came to the conclusion that the "modern person" is too selfish for a relationship.In our early 20's John and I are the "MTV" generation and have lived selfishly, as all young people do and are expected to do. However, has being born into this generation ruined our chances at love? Will our natural "we are the 'it' generation" attitude destroy every relationship we encounter? I had to find out for myself.I did my research in both the gay and straight community and, this maybe shocking to some but I found no difference other than gay men prefer the 69 position. I really don't conform. I found that the most common reason for a couple (gay and straight) between the age of 20-25 to break up was, "I couldn't handle their shit anymore, I love him/her, but he/she is not right for me." I was in shock. I needed to dig deeper through the generations. Did the Celtic Tiger kill love? I decided I would jump up to my parents generation (40-50). And found out that they worked on the "shit" that we discard in the ex-files.I looked at my own break-ups, and unfortunately I fall under the same pattern. I have broken up with men over my career and even for the fact I just wanted to be single. Some say that this OK, because I'm young, but I see it in my friends, a complete pattern, even my "older" friends have the same attitude to relationships.It was then that I decided to look into the real "it generation" the people aged 30-39. Marco, a successful Banker in his early 30's, has been in generations and has broken up with men for the same reasons I have on many occasions and lives the life of a single man on the town. When I asked if he would ever consider a relationship he just answered "If the guy is right for me.". This stuck me as odd because Marco hasn't dated a guy longer than one month before listing off the things he finds wrong with the person. How do we know if they're right for us if we don't give them a chance?It is obvious to me that we have confused self efficient with self destructive. We have had the world practically handed to us during the recession break and have forgotten how to work for thing. I am going to stick to my guns and work on whats wrong with my relationship to make more and more beautifully imperfect everyday, becauseI know that it takes two to make a relationship. Relationships are never perfect but if we all just keep striving for perfection we'll get it. And live perfectly ever after... alone.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I have a new found respect for gold diggers. I would just like to start by saying keep up the good work, they deserve it.

I have recently gotten out of a relationship with a very wealthy man. And I would just like to say that leaving him for my current boyfriend was the best choice I have ever made. Without a bitter tone or an ounce of malicious intent I can say this; not only are rich boys pampered and greedy, but they are also ignorant, disrespectful and irresponsible, not to mention they hate to not get what they want. I am not basing my opinion on this one man and one experience, but in 3 accounts. I have dated at least three men from wealthy backgrounds, and each man was the same, selfish, possessive and ignorant. They were even racist.

I would like to make a retraction on a statement. They are not men, they are boys.

These boys not only treated me like a possession, an inanimate object, they also had tantrums any time I didn't give them what they wanted or said something that they didn't agree with. I found each one lazy and childish. When did it become acceptable for a twenty five-year-old to call his lover a whore when his lover does not want to make him a cup of tea? It is in my opinion that these boys do not believe that they are abnormal. They believe their behaviour is socially acceptable and if you tall them otherwise they will retaliate by calling you childish names and making orders.

The parents believe they raised their son to be humble. Excuse me while I laugh. The boys parents, whether they came from a wealthy family or not, are snobs. I have never met a rich business person who did not look through their nose at me. Unfortunately I dated their sons.

Another retraction. The parents are not to blame. The Nanny's are.

I would really like to know if its just my generation or have wealthy mean throughout history been like this? Are all heirs whining, self centered, greedy and possessive? Does Prince Harry behave like this? These questions and more arise the more you think about it.

I am trying to raise awareness of this problem. And warn people of what these bizarre creatures are like. Beware of the rich boy and his charm. He may seem adorable. But we were all adorable at the age of five when we wanted something. So, yes, their bank balance does count.

Hello blogger.com. I have decided to write a blog, well more convinced to do it by my brother (http://www.teenagersneverhaveiteasy.blogspot.com/). OK, so I am not too sure what to write about here at the moment but I'm sure some day I will be passionate about something and just rant on about it. If you want to check out my myspacehere's the link myspace.com/dance_lovin. I must warn you guys for future reference I speak my mind, so if I insult I am terribly sorry, but its my opinion so get over it, as my brother would say.

I never saw the appeal of blogging before, it always seemed like too much trouble for me. But I realise it is a great way to express your opinion or just have fun so here I am typing to my hearts content about whatever pops into my head. Which is theraputic in a way.