Child of Destiny

Monday, 11 September 2017

Health Check, How Are You Doing?

Sometimes, when something bad happens or you've had a shitty day, all you want is to tell someone about it and have them say, "Bummer."
Just to feel like someone commiserates right? Mostly what you might get is someone trying to fix you or tell you why, through quotable quotes, this too shall pass. It might make you feel not understood right? Alone in your misery?
Today you're not alone. You have me. I'm listening, I'm ready to commiserate, so talk.

It's been a strange week.
Well.
These days they are all strange weeks no?
But this week has been kind of a mental health strange week both in my surroundings and for me. First of all, I think almost two weeks ago? My alma mater had a fire in a dormitory, eight kids dead plus two security guards. It was shocking to me on a personal level because I slept in that dorm when I was a rabble (in form one or the first year of high school). It was the rabble dorm for green house and yellow house and I was in green house. It's the oldest dormitory in the school, which means it's been up for however long Moi Nairobi Girls' School has been in existence. I should know the answer to that question but I don't so...
Anyway, later it emerged that not only was there a fire but it was arson. There was a girl, she had been suicidal for a while, even asked her dormmates to help her kill herself. She started the fire. I don't know what her intentions were in doing that since she survived it.
A cry for help?
On the one hand, I feel her pain; the system failed her. Her guardians in the form of parents and teachers let her down. She needed help she didn't get it. Eight girls died.
On the other hand, it scares the fuck out of me to realize that they are children out there with neglected mental health issues walking around possibly burning down my son's dorm...and I'm sorry but I'll kill them first.

So please, I am speaking to each and every one of yous as parents, teachers, and guardians...PAY ATTENTION to your kids. Ask them how they're doing. If they're okay. Do they need anything? Any suicidal thoughts today? Are you maybe thinking about slashing your wrists? Cutting yourself? What are you sad about? Can I help? There is no such thing as too much attention. Your kids need it, they want it, they soak themselves in it and it feeds their spirit. Give. it. to. them.
And I am not for one minute saying attention will cure mental illness. I'm saying if you're paying attention you will notice when your kid needs help and hopefully, you'll get it for them.
And I know the 'Ah, my kid is fine' parents over there in the back are saying I'm being over dramatic.
Eight. dead. kids. beg to differ.

Talinda Bennington shared a pic of her husband Chester, just days before he committed suicide. He was happy, smiling, they were standing on a bridge. So I do acknowledge that it's not bullet proof, getting help, paying attention. But you can only do what you can do. The rest is out of your hands.

I had a moment where I feared for my life this week. I'm usually about sharing and caring but I kept this to myself because for once, talking about it would just have made me more anxious. I hadn't been feeling well and I woke up with the kind of a headache which makes you wonder if you're dying. I went to a nearby Marie Stopes and they took my blood pressure and it was high. Now my mom died of an aneurysm and my dad of congestive heart failure both of which are linked to high blood pressure. So obviously my heart dropped into my shoes and I was just totally going like "no no no no no."
See my son and I have a pact. We're dying on the same day when I'm 125 and he's 100. So you see why I couldn't risk this nonsense with high blood pressure now. It's too early. So from one day to the next, I changed my entire life. Threw out the sugar and the cake and the salt. Got some of that herbal salt that I'm not even sure is any different but hey, it says it is. I was already taking my aloe gel and bee pollen but I stocked up on vegetables and bran flakes and fruits. No more missing meals. I paid for a gym membership for a month and have gone religiously.
I ain't dying if I can help it.
My blood pressure is back to normal by the way but wow, that was scary. I saw my son yesterday and when he asked me how I was all I could do is shrug and smile because I didn't want to tell him about my shenanigans. The abyss definitely stared back at me this week.

I want to end on a positive note though because bad things happen all the time and I haven't even begun to cover the bad things that have happened this week. Hurricanes and flooding and what not. It's still quiet in my corner of the world and I don't want to jinx it.
Fenty Beauty...

My girl Riri came through for y'all! 40 different shades of makeup for every type of skin with those undertones that are so important. I don't know much about makeup but I read an article by an Asian celebrity - might have been Arden Cho, I'm not sure it was a while back - and she was talking about the scarcity of foundation with that yellow undertone for their skin and so it looks washed out on film. Fenty Beauty has makeup with the yellow undertones, and the green and the pink and blue, I think (probably for Sudanese skin).
I don't know.
I'm just so happy for you girlies. I see my twitter timeline all super excited when they're discovering what number of foundation their skin is. Some people have never had the opportunity to experience this because there is only one shade of makeup for 'dark skins'. So I'm super proud that in this age of selfishness and insularity along comes Riri and includes you all. Every single one of yous. Even albinos have a shade.
Talk about changing the world man.
I might even be able to put on foundation now and not look embalmed. What I'm excited about though, is the lipsticks. Maaan, so many shades to choose from. And with the glittery thing they doing. I might have to start dating again. Yes, I'm excited too.
I have just one complaint +Rihanna, you made all these shades for black skin but there are no Sephoras in Kenya, or Uganda or Sudan or Ethiopia. What about us girl? You know we can't afford that shipping.
Do something.
Okay, one very last thing. I may have a cover and name for my post apocalyptic gay African romance. The more I work on that book, the more excited I get. Can't wait for y'all to read it!