Glorious Independence

Independence.

Today we celebrate independence from tyranny.

Independence from manipulation.

Independence from abusive control.

Fuck yeah. Amen to that.

After the past several months of dealing with a rather deep trauma, I’m finally free, and it feels so good. I can’t really tell you what happened. Just one day, something flipped. I think the EMDR helped. The time helped. Getting past that four month mark helped.

Now I’m writing again. I’m finishing up a novel, something I haven’t been able to do in two years. I’ll be finished with it by Saturday, edits through Monday, and then off to the editor.

Then, onto the next novel.

It’s liberating and empowering.

It’s wonderful!

In the mean time, I’ve had a short story accepted for publication, and I’ve started getting more works out again. I’m submitting poetry & short stories to various markets as well as writing new ones. I’m running and singing and dancing on the trails now. Dipping in Barton Pool. Meditating in the mornings and listening to the perfect moments as the birds sing outside my window. I’m teaching Hamlet starting next week, the realization of a 20-year dream, and I couldn’t feel more fulfilled. I feel comfortable by myself and even prefer it, although the company of gentleman is quite welcome from time to time, and I’m once again able to enjoy that, too.

Basically, I’m loving every moment of this beautiful life. And what wonderful moments they are.

Breathing in, I smile.

I thank everyone who stood by me through this difficult time. Your friendship and support will never be forgotten, and I will continue to pay such support and love forward (or back) to any who might be in need of it. I’m thrilled that so many of my posts helped others feel less alone, for their comments helped me feel less alone.

If there is time over the next day or so, I will resume the Poly Podcasts, for I’m able to read those posts now without the emotional charge. And what a freedom that is…on this glorious Independence Day.

When I sing on the track in the forest I get laughed at and talked to by weirdos. Yes I did rapid eye movement therapy around January when a coasttocoast am radio guest demonstrated it. Thats something that you discovered it too. It did help for 4 months, until the ptsd nightmare of climbing down the side of the house, running to neighbors’ houses and phone not working no one helping came back. Knowing he would get us violently and hurt the family. 32 years later and still traumatized. When abuse, fear, and crazy acting people are the constant daily norm for years, your interpretations become a separate world when youre a child. I dont think the memories ever totally go away. Its too deep. Goes to show that child abuse and neglect are the worst things on earth. I do remind myself its not happening now. Past does not exist. Youre safe. That wasnt reality. It was the crazy reality created by sick untreated mentally ill people. HUGGED myself when I awoke, literally shaking. It was hugging the child I was that no one would protect from 1980- 1984. Glad you found your golden sense of release.