When I was just a little boy my mudder said to me
Always mind your manners when you're out wit company
So when I'm feeling tirsty at my favorite drinking spot
I smile and I kindly shout-PLEASE PASS THE SCHNAPPS!

I went to a fancy restaurant de udder day
I ordered lots of stuff I did not know but what da hey
Da waiter brought expensive wine, he said da best dey got
I said no thank you waiter, would you-PLEASE PASS THE
SCHNAPPS!

I went to a football game, da Packers and da Bears
I got so bombed I did not know da score or even care
I threw up on a Bears fan, he said he'd call da cops
I said that's fine but all in time now-PLEASE PASS THE
SCHNAPPS!

PLEASE PASS THE SCHNAPPS! HEY!!

Pussywhipped

written by J.Krueger-sung by OTTO

I fell in love a month ago, I'm crazy 'bout this girl
She looks so nice, she smells so nice, my head is in a whirl
My friends they tell me that I am not acting like myself
I don't have time to talk to them or anybody else
They say I'm pussywhipped pussywhipped pussywhipped
(I don't really see it myself) Pussywhipped pussywhipped pussywhipped

He don't go to bars nomore (She don't like all the
smoke)
Don't watch no wrestling anymore (She don't know it's a joke)
He don't go out wit da guys (They are a little wild)
He sends her flowers for surprise (Hey dat's my new style)
Pusseywhipped pusseywhipped pusseywhipped

She made me get down on my knees and beg "Please
be my wife"
I am so nervous and in love I feel like Barney Fife
I sold my shotgun and my sports car for a diamond ring
I'm deep in debt but what the heck it's such a pretty thing
I guess I'm pussywhipped pussywhipped pussywhipped
(Well maybe a little) Pussywhipped pussywhipped pussywhipped

She don't like his mother (Give her a little time)
She's got a homo brother (Hey is that such a crime?)
She don't like football (Well it is a violent sport)
She don't like baseball (See you on the tennis court)
Pusseywhipped pusseywhipped pusseywhipped

He ate too much, he ate too much, yah he ate too much
He got so doggone big, he had to skip his lunch
He went to Nutri-System and he lost a lot of weight
Now the girls all love him, they say he looks just great

I used to be big and fat, eating all da time
Because I am Italian, too much pasta and wine
German kraut and schnitzel and that good Budweiser beer
I gained about 30 pounds but now I've lost it here

He ate too much, he ate too much, yah he ate too much
He got so doggone big, he had to skip his lunch
He went to Nutri-System and he lost a lot of weight
Now the girls all love him, they say he looks just great

This is what I used to eat, for the whole week long:
Monday I would go, for smelt down at The Fawn
Tuesday night is pizza at the Coachlight Supper Club
Wednesday I had chicken down at the Dugout Bar

Thursday I just lay around, eating snacks all day
Friday's Ponderosa, out to the grand buffet HEY !
Saturday it's down to Late's, burgers in my car
Sunday I had beef tips, out at the Club Bil-Mar

He ate too much, he ate too much, yah he ate too much
He got so doggone big, he had to skip his lunch
He went to Nutri-System and he lost a lot of weight
Now the girls all love him, they say he looks just great

Now that I am skinny, they say I look just right
But I just can't get used to eating oh so light
I still crave spaghetti and peanuts in da jar
Boy I could really go for a Hershey bar

He ate too much, he ate too much, yah he ate too much
He got so doggone big, he had to skip his lunch
He went to Nutri-System and he lost a lot of weight
Now the girls all love him, they say he looks just great
Now the girls all love him, they say he looks just great HEY
!!

You Really Got Me

written by R.Davies-sung by WOLFGANG

The Lovely Things Waltz

written by J.Krueger-sung by WENZEL

In this world there are so many things to make us feel
so sad
It's a pity I'm afraid but that's the way
So when I'm feeling really blue and don't know what to do
I think of lovely things to help me through the day

How many times must we take this disgrace
Another Bears fan throwing insults in our face
The Packers are the greatest team to ever play the game
Even if from time to time they've been a little lame

How could you ever love a team with Jim McMahon
Not even Porky Pig was as big a ham
They got a reputation that's mostly based on luck
The Bears Still Suck

The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
They really really really really really really suck
Yes the Bears Still Suck

If you drive to Soldier Field they make you pay a toll
For cripes sake they only won one lousy Super Bowl
They make fun of Wisconsin, but we don't get upset
Where do you think that they're all headed every chance they
get

We don't really hold a grudge 'cause this is all in fun
As far as football rivalries we're both number one
Still we wouldn't mind seeing Ditka run over by a truck
'Cause the Bears Still Suck

The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
They really really really really really really suck
Yes the Bears Still Suck

(All the ladies now) The Bears still suck, the Bears
still suck
The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
They really really really really really really suck
Yes the Bears Still Suck

(Everybody now) The Bears still suck, the Bears still
suck
The Bears still suck, the Bears still suck
They really really really really really really suck
Yes the Bears Still Suck HEY !!

The Gosh Darn Wife Ain't Home

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

Da gosh darn wife ain't home, da gosh darn wife ain't
home
She took my car and money and she left me in dis hole
I got to baby-sit da brat and dere's nowhere to go
It's tree in da morning and da gosh darn wife ain't home

I know dat it's her bowling night and dat she'll be out
late
But I got nottin' else to do so I'll sit up and wait
She likes to go out drinking and she likes to sing and dance
And stuff my hard-earned dollars down some male stripper's
pants

Da gosh darn wife ain't home, da gosh darn wife ain't
home
She took my car and money and she left me in dis hole
I got to baby-sit da brat and dere's nowhere to go
It's tree in da morning and da gosh darn wife ain't home

Da wife you know she cut me off right after our last
fight
So I picked up some flowers after work last Tursday night
Da note said "Went out for a bite to Bud Willman's we go"
And den up to Oneida wit her sister for bingo

Da gosh darn wife ain't home, da gosh darn wife ain't
home
She took my car and money and she left me in dis hole
I got to baby-sit da brat and dere's nowhere to go
It's tree in da morning and da gosh darn wife ain't home

She spends her money on da Packer pools and lotteries
She spends it out in Vegas or just going out to eat
She spends everyting dat we got after we pay da bills
I've never seen my check, and I guess I never will

Da gosh darn wife ain't home, da gosh darn wife ain't
home
She took my car and money and she left me in dis hole
I got to baby-sit da brat and dere's nowhere to go
It's tree in da morning and da gosh darn wife ain't home

written by J.Krueger-rapped by OTTO, WOLFGANG, HELMUT,
HORST, & WENZEL

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

Yo my name is Otto, I'm a Libra sign
I really like to drink nearly all da time
Da schnapps, da beer, de blackberry brandy
Vodka, tequilla, whatever is handy
Pump it up, pump it up

That's right I'm Otto and I play guitar
And when I'm not doin' that I'm sittin' at da bar
I like de rap music and da polka too
So we'll put it all together and get down for you

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

Well my name is Wolfgang, I'm a Taurus man
And I drink lots of beer just as fast as I can
I like it in a bottle, I like it in a glass
I like it anyway you can bet your
Pump it up, pump it up

That's right I'm Wolfgang and I play the bass
That makes me so wild in this funky place
So if you want to party, have a real good time
Just listen to me rap and you'll feel real fine

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

Yo my name is Helmut, and I'd like another
You see I like to drink as much as my brother
The Yagermeister, the mai bock brew
I'm getting' real thirsty just a-rappin' to you
Pump it up, pump it up

That's right I'm Helmut and I know what I'm doin'
When I pick the guitar when I'm playin' the tune
I got all the moves with the fancy strummin'
Everybody goes a-wild when they see me comin'

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

Yo my name is Horst and I usually don't drink
'Cause den it gets too hard to tink
And when de boys get trown in jail
Someone's got to pay de bail
Pump it up, pump it up

That's right I'm Horst and I play de harp
Well I can play it flat and I can play it sharp
I can make it roar like a hurricane
Don't you ever forget my name

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

Yo my name is Wenzel, I'm a Scorpio
I love to drink just to let you know
The 100 proof schnapps, the Boones Farm wine
Give it all to me it's a mighty fine time
Pump it up, pump it up

That's right I'm Wenzel and I play the beat
That makes all you leakers want to tap your feet
So if you want some really good advise for nothing
Hey all you losers START SUCKING !!

Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap
Pump it up, pump it up
Wit The Happy Schnapps Combo polka rap

HEY !! (Oh dat Wenzel)

We Are The Schnapps

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
We are da Schnapps, pass da word around
We'll drink a beer, eat a brat, and den we'll all get down
We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town

Otto used to be a fool, he played da rock'n'roll
And then he found that polkas were the only way to go
He got da guys together and he showed them some new tunes
Now we all love polkas and we're here to play for you

We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
We are da Schnapps, so pass da word around
We'll drink a beer, eat a brat, and den we'll all get down
We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town

Did our first job at Digger Dave's after da Packer game
Now all of the regulars and some of our friends came
We had one hell of a good time, you should've heard us jam
Playing for shots and beers like dem old polka bands

We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
We are da Schnapps, pass da word around
We'll drink a beer, eat a brat, and den we'll all get down
We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town

We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
We are da Schnapps, pass da word around
We'll drink a beer, eat a brat, and den we'll all get down
We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
We are da Schnapps, we're coming to your town
HEY!!

Oh, Digger Dave

written by J.Krueger-sung by OTTO-belch by WENZEL

I don't feel so good, I drank too much last night
I got to find a place where I can feel all right
I don't give a damn, give me vodka, tomato, and clam
And throw in some udder stuff too, I got to get rid of dis
flu

The party was the best last night, Bugsy was the star
He'd tell you all about it but he's passed out on the bar
I shook him and he swore at me, and when he was all through
I left him there with Orty 'cause Orty's passed out too

Now I'm watching for the regulars like Ma and Stump and
El
Might be Bonnie and Amy, Gordie and Joanne, you can never
tell
Now Peanut and Ann are working real hard, and I should feel
better soon
I swallowed a bunch of Buffrin and threw up at The Elbow Room