Is this real or mental problem? And how to fix it?

For 5 years I'm basically obssessed with my mothers name and i want her to change 1 letter in her name, i also want to change her name in my school diploma.
But we have a problem here. She doesn't want to change her name. That 1 fucking letter. She said that it's a shame to do that.
i'm ashamed of her name. If she changes 1 letter it would sound like all other name sound in my country but she doesn't want to do it and that makes me depressed and angry and i'm swallowing pills to make myself feel better, few members of my family told me that i'm crazy and many people that know me told me that i look totally psycho in last few years and that they don't know what is wrong with me (i didn't told them my problem). I also don't enjoy in anything anymore and i lost interest in everything, even sex. I totally wanna kill myself. How I can fix this? My mother is very mentally unstable and alcoholic and she doesn't give a single fuck about me so i can't talk normally to her, expecially when we are talking about this topic she just starts to rage at me and i have to walk away.

I may have replied to your question the last time, but I think it would be easier for you to change your own name because you can't really force your mother to change hers if she doesn't want to right? I think that's the only fix to this unless you're willing to let go of it and accept the name as is, which I don't think you are.

Hi there, I am sorry for what you are going through. I don't know the back story about the name so I cannot comment. But really, do you want to die because of the name? may i ask why it is shameful or is that too personal? I really honestly hope you recover from this and taking you own life will not solve anything. Are you in therapy? It might help you a lot. Good luck.

I may have replied to your question the last time, but I think it would be easier for you to change your own name because you can't really force your mother to change hers if she doesn't want to right? I think that's the only fix to this unless you're willing to let go of it and accept the name as is, which I don't think you are.

Hi there, I am sorry for what you are going through. I don't know the back story about the name so I cannot comment. But really, do you want to die because of the name? may i ask why it is shameful or is that too personal? I really honestly hope you recover from this and taking you own life will not solve anything. Are you in therapy? It might help you a lot. Good luck.

Click to expand...

It's not just because of that but that thing is in my head for years and it's because of national basis. I'm kinda ashamed of my mothers nationality. And it's not about changing her whole name, just to add 1 fucking letter to her name to sound like all other names in my country.

Hi NoIdeaWhichName, I understand about the obsession with your mom's name. It sounds to me like maybe this stems from some more serious issue with your mom. Do you two get along well? You mentioned in your last post that she is of a different nationality than the country you live in and that you are ashamed of her nationality. Are you maybe ashamed of how people might look at you because of your mother's nationality? I'm not saying this in an accusatory tone, just trying to maybe make you think differently about the situation.

If I can give some words of encouragement, I think we all have some aspect of our families than we wish we could change. But, in the end, they are still our families. We look to them for comfort and support. They are often there to helpin difficult times. Maybe you should have a talk with a counsellor about this frustration? Sending hugs and support to youn