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Ok, after finishing painting my army and getting in some face to face games, combined with the games I've had here, I'm revamping my list a little before making my return. I'm mostly just changing up the core, dropping the conscript hordes in order to (hopefully) increase the firepower and survivability of my regular troops. The blocks are mostly unchanged, but I'll repost them here for completion's sake. If you've got any suggestions or comments, feel free to let me know. I'm still getting the hang of things.

Army Builder makes things into nice bbcode for me, so I'll just copy this straight from there.

Yeah, those guard make me nervous. That's an awful lot of stuff for that core block, and the ogryns and Russ tanks look pretty scary as well. However (and this may just be me speaking as someone who hasn't played a guard army and who's list relies on transports for everythang), the lack of transports for the infantry is kind of strange.

Well, there are two reasons for that. First, I'll probably be using each platoon combined into a thirty-man squad, which wouldn't fit on a transport. Second, I've heard that an all-mechanized guard army is supposed to be way overpowered, and I don't want to be that guy.

The issue with your list is that in order to move to capture objectives you need to forfeit at least half your firepower a turn. I would suggest maybe switching one of the squads to something with an assault weapon so you can throw them at an enemy objective if you need to.

To sum up the prevailing focus of the game, Honk honk bitches, you can't hurt me, I'm AV11!!' (by which I mean I finally managed to pull out that thing that is neither defeat, nor draw)

MVP of the game has GOT to go to my tac squad rhino. Dawn of War, Annhilation, I had it sitting on the center line, making a nice pushback zone, planning on scooting it behind a building at the start of the game. Except, Alt_Raven stole the initiative. So his whole army comes rolling on, and my rhino with embarked tac squad is staring down a land raider crusader, 2x HB Razorbacks, a dread with TL auto-cannons, AND a Vindicator. Land Raider lights it up with a searchlight, and the shootananny begins.

'Shit,' thinks I, 'there go two KPs." The rhino is shaken, the rhino is stunned, its storm bolter is blown off, its immobilized, its hunter-killer missile is blown off, but it survives turn 1. My turn, the marines stay hunkered down inside, figure, what the hell, turn their own searchlight onto the vindicator right in front of them, and belatedly blow smoke. 'What the hell' figures I, 'at least that will divert some fire from all the dreads stomping onto the board.' And it did. One of my dreads blew the demolisher off of the nicely illuminated vindicator, and bereft of any other viable targets, it drove full speed into the immobilized rhino, and bounced off!

My second turn comes around. Given the number of tanks and marines bearing down on their indefatigable but unmoving ride, the tac squad jumps out the back and legs it towards a nearby crater. The rhino says, 'screw you guys, I'm out of here!' fixing its immobilized result, and surviving unscathed to turn 3 (by which time the rest of my army was causing all sorts of trouble, so it was a rather low priority target). It zoomed out of sight behind a bunker, and there it stayed the rest of the game, occasionally soaking up a multi-melta shot intended for nearby dreadnoughts.

In the end, I came out with a win at 7kp to 1 (combat squaded tac marines with no fists fare very poorly when an Ironclad manages to make it into CC). Alt_Raven was able to pour a hellciaous rate of fire my way, but unfortunately, not much of it was able to reliably hurt AV 12-13 so while almost all of my dreads were heavily damaged by the end of the game, only 1 had been outright destroyed.

Comedic highlight of the game was when I managed to immobile his land raider, and immediately charged it with a dread, getting ready to pop it like a juicy tomato full of metal. I cackled over the auto-hits, and then realized that since the dread had two weapon arms, it was only S5. Then the land raider turned its TL asscannon on it and hosed it with lead. Kind of a bummer.