When vivisecting matters as delicate as the Church of Scientology's uncompromising quest to make Tom Cruise as happy as a house cat in a classic six full of lightly trickling faucets, it's best to call on some expert testimony, and who better to provide such testimony than Scientology apostate Paul Haggis? (Nobody's better is the answer you're searching for.)

Showbiz 411's Roger Friedman squeezed a comment about news that Church officials had arranged Tom Cruise's brief relationship with Nazanin Boniadi out of the Oscar-winning director, who, until two years ago, was something of a Scientology acolyte himself. Haggis offered some insight into the icky rumors that the Church essentially made-over Boniadi in the image most suitable for Tom Cruise, confirming that the organization had tried its hand at Pygmalion-style matchmaking:

I've known Nazanin for about three years. I met her through a mutual friend when I was doing my own personal research into the allegations against Scientology, before I wrote my letter of resignation. Naz was embarrassed by her unwitting involvement in this incident and never wanted it to come out, so I kept silent. However I was deeply disturbed by how the highest ranking members of a church could so easily justify using one of their members; how they so callously punished her and then so effectively silenced her when it was done. It wasn't just the threats; they actually made her feel ashamed, when all she had been was human and trusting.

Haggis lavished praise on Boniadi, adding that she "has never cast herself as a victim," and "has no reason to feel ashamed," most likely because the Church is a ruthless, manipulative entity that uses even the most sincere and well-meaning people as if they were pogs in a game of...pogs.