Here’s the thing: You’ll never reach your goal unless you stop doing what you’re doing right now and instead do this:

Embrace the body you have right now. Celebrate the weight you have right now. Value yourself as you are right now. {Click to Tweet}

Own what you have and where you’re at in this very moment.

Change won’t happen until you realize that the goal is here, it’s in the present moment. Life doesn’t happen in the future. It’s happens now. Therefor, you need to live the life you want to live once you’ve lost your weight, learned to feel more positive in your body or have made peace with food, today.

That, of course, is anything but easy because how can you accept the body you so hate? How could you ever welcome anything good in your life with all the weight you carry around? How could you ever embrace your ugly cellulite or your nasty muffin top? How could you ever go to the beach, try that new massage place, eat a hamburger or take that hip hop class with the body you sport in this moment?

You can and you will – if you’re ready to try a strategy that’ll actually work.

It takes a certain kind of openness and maybe even desperation to consider living and fully being alive in the reality as it is; especially because we always want what we don’t have.

But the question is, are you going to hate yourself until you get where you want to go? Do you think this’ll make for a comfortable ride? Isn’t it time you stopped fighting yourself? Isn’t it time you stopped being at war with every calorie, every gram of fat, every food group? Isn’t it time to surrender and put up that white flag, finally allowing your body to make you feel at home?

Isn’t it time?

I sure as heck think so!

So, if you’re ready to put a stop on your food obsession, your binge eating or your constant dieting, ask yourself the following questions. If you answer no to one or two of them, you’re not yet in the right mindset to truly make a lasting body image change in your life. The cool thing is that this is easy to “fix”. Just set some time aside for your body image mission, change your habits or add a new routine to your life and voilà, you’re one step closer to true body love.

Do you cancel appointments because you feel too fat or too ugly to go? (If so, stop.)

Remember that where attention goes, energy flows.

That means, if you focus on hating your body, all your energy will go into making sure that your body and your mindset will stay the way it is. That way you’ll never love it, won’t learn to stop binging or walk confidently in your skin.

Anger – as much as any emotions – is powerful. It’s necessary. It’s healthy.

But we don’t see it that way, do we?

Instead, we try to avoid it because it’s not feminine, not gentle, not sacred, not helpful, not seemly, not spiritual.

Except it is.

When you don’t express your anger, your frustration, your disappointment, even your hate, and you simply swallow all your “negative” feelings, you’ll eventually burst. And for those struggling with food, guess how this eruption will look like?

Yup, you guessed right.

A binge, a diet, followed by a meltdown and a resolution of “never doing it again”.

But if you don’t change the problem (aka. not expressing your true feelings), you’ll never be able to completely heal the symptom (aka. the overeating, the constant dieting, the disordered eating).

So, here are a few ways of not just “dealing” with anger or “managing” anger or downright ignoring your anger, but instead giving it air to breathe. These tips will help you to stay away from super unhealthy food related behaviors and they’ll help you to feel more at peace with who you really are.

1. Feel it

Before you “do” anything about your anger, allow yourself to feel it. Have you ever truly let yourself notice the way that anger changes your body chemistry? Have you ever truly gotten to the raw emotional sensations that anger causes inside?

It’s hugely healing to welcome your anger and allow it to express itself in your body.

What does anger feel like? Where do you feel it? Is it hot or cold? How does it change the way you breathe?

Feel it, notice it, don’t judge it.

2. Write about why you’re so scared of your anger

If you can’t have a conversation and you’re simply too afraid of the consequences of expressing your anger, write it down. Writing – almost as much as talking – helps to heal and definitely gives you the feeling of relief that you need when you’re so very upset.

Ask yourself why you’re scared of your anger. What has it done to you in the past? What kinds of problems has it caused? What has it done to your soul/your inner world?

At the same time, ask yourself how it helped you, matured you, freed you from difficult situations, partnerships, etc. How has your anger served you?

What can you learn from your anger now?

The ways to write about anger are endless. Choose one today and just write from your heart.

3. Give yourself the space and time to melt down

Go to a space where you feel safe and comforted and allow yourself to cry, wail, scream, or simply look into empty space. We all need to have a melt down at times, so don’t judge yourself for going into this place. Instead, praise yourself for having the courage to let your grievances flow freely through you.

Give yourself as much time as you need in order to let it all out.

4. Write letters to those who pissed you off – don’t send them

This is similar to tip #2, but it goes into much more detail. This is a time for you to write down EVERYTHING that hurt you, annoyed you, left you feeling betrayed and broken down. Be petty, be mean, be clear and concise, and talk about how the other person’s actions made you feel. You’ll know when you’ve said everything you needed to say.

When you’re finished, burn the letter, shred it or flush it down the toilet.

Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling now.

5. Hire a coach if you’re stuck

A great coach will help you to get to a place where anger doesn’t scare you anymore and she’ll work with you to find a healthy way of living with your emotions, thanking them, seeing the value in them and learning the lessons they are here to teach you.

Be prepared for miracles and huge inner shifts to happen during this work.

6. Stop pretending you don’t have rage

This is more of a mindset change than an actual action step. If you always say that you’re fine and that you don’t have any issues, stop it. We all have some kind of anger, fear, frustrations inside. It’s important not to fool ourselves and brainwash our minds into believing that we’re superior to these emotions.

Here’s the thing: your rage won’t disappear because you act as if it’s not there. It also won’t have the opportunity to transform itself into something good if you keep telling yourself that it’s not really there.

Stop the pretence, stop lying to yourself and instead acknowledge the feelings that are lurking inside.

7. Turn your anger into art

Anger can inspire beautiful pieces of art.

Open yourself up and let your creative side express your anger in a totally new way. Don’t put any mental prisons on yourself and instead simply let your emotions guide you.

8. Do something constructive with it

Get to the bottom of what you’re really so frustrated about and once you know, do something with it. Start volunteering, have better conversations with your partner, decide to spend more quality time with your children, begin to schedule more “me-time” in your calendar.

Your anger is here to teach you and it won’t go away until you’ve learned your lesson. So, listen to it, really hear it and move on with it. {Click to Tweet}

9. Learn to handle the paradox of anger being a good emotion

In my world view there really are no bad emotions, but I consider anger to be an especially good one. Anger helps to let you know where your boundaries are. It shows you how strong you can be. It makes you aware of the many ways you can take care of yourself.

If you’re still thinking in black and white when it comes to negative emotions, try to relax into an experience of life that has more grey zones and invite the color of anger into this new world of yours. Give it a try and see what happens.

10. Forgive yourself

When you feel super hateful and you binge or overeat, don’t go into your usual self-destructive mode and instead, forgive yourself.

Say something like “I know I binged because I feel … right now, but I choose to forgive myself and love myself anyway. I let go of this experience now and I allow myself to move on peacefully.” Mantras like this one will help to ease the pain and the fear that follow a loss of control around food.

When you’re done with the binge, journal about your experience and what you can learn from it. What have you gained from this episode (and no, we’re not talking about pounds…)?

In the end, the only thing that’ll help you to move on from this angry place you’re stuck in is the unconditional welcoming of your anger, your hate, your disappointment and all the other emotions that are hiding behind your angry face. You’ll never be able to free yourself from something that you’re not accepting as part of you.

Go ahead and try some of the exercises that speak to you. I know it takes courage, but if someone can do it, then it’s you.

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Anne-Sophie is responsible for me having a renewed passion for loving myself, and she has made me realize how important it REALLY is. Not only that, but she has made me realize how amazing it feels to love myself, and I’ve seen in my life that the more I love myself, the more I want to show kindness and love to others. Anne-Sophie helped me to see how important it is to make time for taking care of myself, not just if it’s convenient.— Paul Dennis