"Changing the Face of the American Family." The Church of St. Luke in the Fields offers a provocative symposium on queer family values. At 7 p.m. 487 Hudson Street (633-2099).Stand Up and Queer. Gotham Comedy Club presents Julie Goldman, Danny McWilliams, and Seth Rudetsky. The ever-fresh and crisp Hedda Lettuce is your host. At 7 and 9:30 p.m. 34 West 22nd Street (367-9000); $10 cover, two-drink minimum.Reno Finds Her Mind. Last month, the comic searched America for her mom on HBO. Now prepare for an even more daunting journey as downtown's bodacious dyke explores the crevices of her psyche. The Sullivan Street Lounge Theatre at Life, 189 Sullivan Street (420-1999); $20. Through July 4.Pride Exhibition '98. Pride-inspired painting, drawing, and sculpture at Vincent Louis Galleries, 546 Hudson Street (462-2709). Through July 4.Pride Month Sale. Out of the Closet Thrift Shop celebrates Pride with a massive sale of bric-a-brac, clothing, furniture, and other tchotchkes. Proceeds go to more than 50 AIDS charities. 220 East 81st Street (472-0391). Tuesday through Saturday for the entire month of June.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24

Pomo Homos. Watch the faux fur fly as Out magazine's new editor-in-chief, James Collard, journalists Jonathan Van Meter and David Groff, author Sarah Schulman (Rat Bohemia), and Columbia University professor of law Kendall Thomas debate what the hell it means to be "post-gay." At 7 p.m. Tishman Auditorium, the New School, 65 West 11th Street (229-5353).

THURSDAY, JUNE 25

Before Stonewall: A Gay and Lesbian Walking Tour. The Museum of the City of New York sponsors this blast back into the past of New York's gay community. Tour the stomping grounds of Willa Cather, Audre Lorde, Bayard Rustin, and "two of New York's cross-dressing politicians" (pre-Rudy). Meet at Washington Square Arch at 6 p.m. (534-1672, ext. 257); $8-$10.An Evening of Songs & Praise. Featuring Lavender Light and the Black & People of All Colors Lesbian & Gay Gospel Choir. At 8 p.m. Unity Fellowship Church, 230 Classon Avenue, Brooklyn (718-636-5646); $12 in advance, $20 at the door.Scott Thompson. The acid-tongued barfly from Kids in the Hall offers venomous observations on life, love, and trailer trash. Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 Broadway, at 49th Street (757-4100); $19.50-$21.50. Through June 28.Pride Awards Ceremony. Public Advocate and would-be senator Mark Green's fifth annual Pride Awards. Schmooze with politicos and sip cocktails at City Hall from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. (669-4129); free.

FRIDAY, JUNE 26

The Stonewall Shabbat Seder. Congregation B'nai Jeshurun invites you to a dinner celebrating queer Jewish pride. Services at 6:45 p.m. on West 86th Street at West End Avenue; Seder at 8:15 at 257 West 88th Street (787-7600, ext. 325); $22, $18 for members. Farther uptown, Temple Ansche Chesed presents a special Shabbat service with playwright Tony Kushner. 251 West 100th Street (929-9498).Mothers March Against AIDS Candlelight Vigil. Meets 7:15 p.m. at Sheridan Square Park, Seventh Avenue South and West 4th Street (718-934-1758).Country-Western Hoedown. Two-step under the stars at a homo hoedown to benefit the Heritage of Pride and the Hetrick- Martin Institute. At 7 p.m. P.S. 3, 490 Hudson Street (691-4584); tickets are $15.Tom of Finland's Manhunt. Put on your leather chaps and collar and let Daddy tell you what a good boy you've been. David Knapp starts spinning at 10 p.m. at the Tunnel, 220 Twelfth Avenue, at 27th Street (695-4682); tickets are $45-$50.

SATURDAY, JUNE 27

Front Runners, New York's gay-lesbian running club, sponsors a five-mile charity points run in Central Park. Begins promptly at 9:30. a.m.; $17. Meet at 97th Street and East Drive (724-9700).URSUS MAJOR Annual Meeting. Where the big boys are. It's chubby men all night long at this yearly social event. Are you man enough? 3 p.m. at The Center, 208 West 13th Street (973-672-3044); $5.Third Annual Color Me Queer Party. The South Asian Lesbian and Gay Association (salga) and the Audre Lorde Project (alp) invite you to join them for a little bhangra, house, and hip-hop at 10 p.m. at the Cooler, 416 West 14th Street (call 358-5132); tickets are $10.Family Picnic at Fort Greene Park. Bring the domestic partner, kiddies, and kitty cats for free food, community service, and entertainment. From 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Corner of Dekalb and Cumberland Streets (718-636-5646).The Sixth Annual Dyke March. Begins at 5 p.m. in Bryant Park and heads down Fifth Avenue (967-7711, ext. 3204). The Lesbian Pride Dance VIII. The Center hosts one of the biggest lesbian events of the year, a dance party at Irving Plaza that features, yes, Betty, with music by Karin Ward. Starts at 9 p.m. 17 Irving Place (620-7310, ext. 390); tickets are $15 in advance, $20 at the door. Dance on Manhattan. An outdoor benefit for GMHC held on Pier 62 at West 23rd Street. Live performance by Linda Eder, music by Michael Fierman, and antics by 3,000 circuit boys. Starts at 10 p.m.; $45-$65 at the door or through Ticketmaster.Pride Night at the Roxy. With D.J. Victor Calderone (Madonna's boy-toy mixer on Ray of Light) and featuring diva-of-the-minute Deborah Cox. With more than 2,500 usually served every Saturday night, expect even longer lines. 515 West 18th Street (645-5156); $20 in advance, $30 at the door.Midnight Cruise. Okay, so Kathie Lee won't be there, but rest assured there'll be plenty of other drama queens on board for a five-hour midnight cruise. Act out your favorite Titanic scenes as you take in a full-course dinner and a lingerie fashion show (862-3061); $65 per person.

SUNDAY, JUNE 28

Metropolitan Community Church of New York. Start the day off with special Gay Pride services at 10 a.m. 446 West 36th Street (for info, call 629-7440). The 29th Annual Gay Pride March. New York's largest -- and certainly most fabulous -- parade begins promptly at noon at Fifth Avenue and 52nd Street. From there, it's all downtown (807-7433). Afterward, enjoy the pier dance from 4:30 to 10:30 p.m. Call 800-494-8497; tickets are $28.50-$38.50. Ladies might prefer Shescape at Twirl, 208 West 23rd Street (686-5665), or Dangerous Curves, a benefit for the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project (807-6761).Limelight. It's baaack! Peter Gatien re-opens his ungodly church (47 West 20th Street) with a special Pride blowout. Tony Moran spins. Sinful appearances by Lady Bunny, Girlina, and girl-on-a-rope Shana. Michael Alig, unfortunately, has other engagements; $20.