BREAKING: Richard III Found Dead

A skeleton found underneath a car park in Leicester is expected to be confirmed as that of Richard III.

The remarkable discovery of the remains, entailing a curved spine back and wounded skull, was made last September.

Since then scientists have been conducting a range of tests to establish whether the remains do indeed belong to the Plantagenet King.

Researchers from Leicester University will hold a press conference on Monday morning where they will present the findings of their investigation.

Let me be the first to set aside my family’s historical Plantagenet sympathies and call for an end to the destructive, six century civil war that has laid England waste. Yorkist dead-enders, lay down your arms!

Favorite twitter comment: A king buried under a multistory parking lot? Wrong on so many levels.

Leeds man

+100, as the kids say.

LassMichInRuhe

As a Richard III Truther, I want to know why they are suppressing evidence of a second head-smasher and the discovery of a mallet beneath a fish and chips shop 20 meters away.

wjts

I’m a Truther, too, but am more outraged that the British government continues to suppress evidence that Richard was brutally murdered by Edward V and Richard of Shrewsbury.

NonyNony

And I want to know why the British government continues to suppress the evidence of the reign of King Richard the IV, and continues to present the whitewashed history cooked up by Henry Tudor as “fact” when it comes to the death of Richard III anyway.

After reading Tey’s “Daughter of Time” decades ago, I did a lot of reading up on Richard III. Tey left out some very very important “evidence” of Dicon’s guilt… still, he sounds like a pretty nice guy, for his times. Seems to me he really had No Choice but to dispose of his nephews, even if he didn’t want to be King: they and their Woodville relations HATED Richard: he wouldn’t have lasted long under their rule. So. Anyway.

Richard Hershberger

“Tey left out some very very important “evidence”…”

Indeed she did. That book is something of a textbook example of the use of carefully selected evidence to arrive at the desired conclusion. The real stroke of genius was writing it ostensibly as a novel. This provided the built in defense of “It’s only a novel! Sheesh!” thereby rendering all critiques as humorless pedantry, while retaining all the power of persuasion to its cause.

It had a good run, but my sense is that Richard IIIism is out of fashion. The type that was attracted to it back in the day are now devoting the efforts at pitying condescension of anyone foolish enough to believe that Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare. This too will pass. I am curious to see what comes next.

Ed

still, he sounds like a pretty nice guy, for his times. Seems to me he really had No Choice but to dispose of his nephews, even if he didn’t want to be King:

We really don’t know enough about Richard to determine what degree of niceness he possessed. Tey’s book was a very enjoyable argument for the defense. Richard may well have had no choice but it’s worth noting the killing of the princes was a shocker in an era one might otherwise think unshockable when it came to bloodshed.

mine/thine/his; hers; its/
ours/yours/theirset cetera, I leave the workings out to thee all, regarding thee as friends and equals, and remembering that thou’rt high in my affections. [OMG thee could be plural–but! Yes, to indicate loving informality to a group. cf. “Children come thee all inside, for it is thy suppertime.”] Please don’t fuck this up, o thou my people. It irritates me unduly.

Nonetheless I’m afraid it’s still “do” in the imperative: “do, thou, come inside, because it is very cold, and thou dost wear only a thong.” “Nu, it is the Folsom Street Fair, thou wish’t me to hide my light under a bushel?”

herr doktor bimler

As any fule kno.

Leeds man

Maybe I’m amazed that 16th-17th century English were that standardized, wack.

chris y

he/she/it doth/(rarely)doeth

cf. “How doth the little crocodile/improve each shining scale…”

oldster

yes…the lady doth complain *too* much, methinks.

(misquoted in order to convey the sense generally misattributed to it).

The Dark Avenger

THERE WAS A SECOND ASSASSIN!

cpinva

ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!

catclub

That is not a knoll, it is a bunchbacked bit of lawn.

herr doktor bimler

In CONCEALMENT!
He was a knoll coward.

Leeds man

Don’t Let’s Be Beastly To The Lancastrians.

sibusisodan

This thread is full of win.

expatchad

+1 oy

rea

God and your arms be praised, victorious friends,
The day is ours, the bloody dog is dead.

dave brockington

Finally, we can put the centuries of turmoil and strife behind us, and take our rightful seat at the high table of the world’s great powers. The 21st Century will be the English century.