Charlie Sheen Tells Porn Stars The Party’s Over

Charlie Sheen is totally serious about rehab, guys. TMZ has an alleged photo of Charlie watching the Super Bowl alone—alone!—in the same home theater he previously critiqued porn in during his last wild party. If the fact that he’s chilling in his own mansion wasn’t proof enough of his commitment to overcoming decades of drug abuse and sex addiction, Sheen’s porn star pals are getting farewell texts from the Two And A Half Men actor, including “Please lose the number, we are closed…please drive through…thank you” and “Right now we are on lockdown.” And by “right now,” he obviously means forever! Right?