Feel like your life is boring? Your friends don't share your interests or you don't know anybody to hang out with? You go home from work, lock yourself in your room and wait for morning to do it all over again?

I was like that for years. Then one day something changed everything, and part of that something was me developing my new personal mantra... Whenever I'm feeling down or misunderstood or alone, it helps to remember this simple phrase.

Fuck you guys, I'm awesome.

Now go out there and do something that frightens the shit out of you, just because you can!

Everyone knew it was only a matter of time before I finally wrote something about my latest and most lasting awesome hobby of doom, so here we go!

First Part - What is poi?

Poi is a performance art in which a ball or balls suspended from a length of flexible material, usually a plaited cord, are held in the hand and swung in circular patterns. Poi is one of the traditional performing arts of the Māori people of New Zealand, and has developed many forms used worldwide as a hobby, exercise, or performance art alongside juggling and other forms of object manipulation.
(says Wikipedia)

Part the second - Why?
Favorite answer: Why not?!

Well, this is a hard one for me to explain... no wait, it's not. Its because it's fun and it looks freakin cool!

The one important thing they don't mention above (because they're focusing on the basics) is that many/most poi spinners (in my experience) prefer to spin objects that are lit in some way. I generally spin glowing LED powered ones. Later this summer you'll find me LIGHTING THINGS ON FIRE AND SPINNING THEM AROUND ME DAFSASF!!!!!@#HHGH#@

Yes, you heard right, we light things on fire, and swing them around our bodies.

Life is short. Light things on fire!
... I feel like that should be a t-shirt or something.

Seriously though, when you take the appropriate precautions there's only a small risk of being harmed or harming others, most of which can be avoided by not being a complete jackass and/or trying with things that aren't on fire first.

Plus, did I forget to mention that it looks awesome?

Section 4: the revenge of the section (or, how do I do this poi thing anyway?)
The best way to learn poi is to just do it.
The easiest way to just do it is to learn poi.

Wait, I made a circle. Lets step back.

Poi at its heart is simply object manipulation. You put a weight on a string, you spin the object around. Suddenly this is poi.

Have keys on a lanyard? Have a tube sock and an orange? Piece of string and a banana?
All of this can be poi! (or breakfast... except the keys)!

Sure, you can spend lots of money buying cool toys, but who wants to wait for shipping when you could start hitting yourself and looking like an idiot right now!

I'm going to update this later today with some links to awesome tutorial videos and pictures, maybe if you're lucky I'll post up where to get the same toys I use.
Until then, hold your breath... okay?

Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!
Hot Topic is not punk rock!

Hot Topic is a contrived identification with youth subcultures to manufacture an anti-authoritarian identity and make millions.
The $8 you paid for the Mudvayne poster would be better spent used to see your brother's friend's band.

Sticky!: This is our sticky webgame of the (however long it lasts). Once I know that other people have seen it (which can be indicated by joining the game), I'll take it down and get back to the normal flow of the site.

Until then... consider yerselves hijacked and at the mercy of yer fellow pie-rats! Yarr!