News

I don’t follow Hollywood gossip at all but while shopping for toilet paper and cat food, I couldn’t escape the supermarket tabloids with the huge front pages screaming the news that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are splitting. It’s sad to hear that another family has to go through the heartbreak and upheaval that a breakup and divorce can bring. The reason for the divorce? Supposedly, he’s been having a fling with their hot nanny.… Read more at HuffingtonPost.com

Breakups can be agonizing. You miss your ex, you feel lonely, being single is a significant change, and you’re feeling bitter, angry, and hopeless in relationships. A breakup is a loss and it can be devastating.

I’ve had my share of difficult breakups for sure. When I was inexperienced in heartbreaks, I handled them horribly — indulged in vices, became preoccupied with my ex, and hoped for (a next to impossible) reconciliation. After realizing I was losing a lot of my time to some… …

First there is the gobsmacking irony of Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman’s outrage. Apparently the hack may be an inside job. No, you mean someone you trusted stole something precious of yours, Noel? And their selfish whims and unilateral decisions destroyed your world? Say it isn’t so!

It’s almost an afterthought. We think of the child victims. We think of the lives ruined by his conduct. And when the media gets to the part about his wife filing for divorce, it’s as if it’s just naturally the final piece. But it’s truly a complete story within itself. His family is changed forever. Their lives are changed. But hopefully divorce can offer relief. It can offer the emotional relief of not being legally tied to him, but it can offer financial relief as well. And there are so many … …

I’m turning 65 in a few months, and getting close to retiring. My ex is also turning 65, and as far as I know, he’s still working. I’d like to file for my ex-spouse’s Social Security benefits, but don’t really want to talk to him about it. Does he have to be involved?

–A Reader

Dear Reader,

I’m getting a lot of questions about ex-spouses and Social Security lately, so I’m going to try to broaden my answer to yours to cov… …

Yesterday, I signed up on the dating website AshleyMadison.com. If you hadn’t heard of it before this week as the place married people go to cheat on their spouses, then you probably did this week after a cyber attack by some morally-righteous online vigilantes hacked its website and exposed the its members. All 39 million of them! My reason for registering wasn’t to have an affair (which I hope is obviously given I’m sharing that with you), but to prepare for a TV interview I did earlier today … …

Our marriage was the kind that everyone on the outside said they’d hoped their’s would be someday. We laughed and had fun, and generally enjoyed each other’s company. A few years and two kids later things changed. We changed. We didn’t change together. We very much changed apart and let it lie, just under the surface, while we ignored it. Then one night, on a treadmill in the gym at my work while watching a “Friends”, my inner voice screamed at me so loud I had to jump and put each foot on the s… …

Looking back 10 years, I’ve realized that I’ve hardly changed at all, but my outlook on life and my attitude has. When I consider what’s brought about these dramatic changes from my 20s to my 30s, I see one common denominator. My second, and current, and hopefully last husband.

To him, these lessons are normal, he’s grown up believing each one which is, of course, a homage to his parents. I do think there are others who could benefit from the life lessons he’s taught me.

The weeks and months after a split can leave you feeling shaken up and completely unsure of yourself. You’ve spent years and maybe even decades with one person, so it’s understandable that being on your own again might seem like a slightly scary prospect.

But while your life may feel completely unfamiliar right now, it won’t always be that way. (And hey, you may even grow to love being on your own.)

As part of our Blended Family Friday series, each week we spotlight a different stepfamily to learn how they’ve worked to bring their two families together. Our hope is that by telling their stories, we’ll bring you closer to blended family bliss in your own life! Want to share your family’s story? Email us at divorce@huffin… …