Friday, August 12, 2011

The End (of the Watch-A-Thon) Is Nigh!

DOOMSDAY APPROACHES!

Yeah, the details are a bit sketchy, but regardless of your personal beliefs, you know it's coming. You've seen the signs. Climate change. Increasing civil and political unrest across the globe. Environmental crises and natural disasters. Wars and rumors of wars. TRANSFORMERS 3.

Are *you* ready for Doomsday? Sure, you can try to survive it, save your mortal coil, if you can afford it. Invest in an apocalypse bunker so that you start off at the top of the hellscape food chain. But even an economy class bunker will set you back something like ten grand. Who can afford that in this recession, right?

You might be better off avoiding the hellscape altogether by seeing to your soul rather than your body. And how does one go about doing that? Well, you want to start by having lived all of your life in a wholesome, righteous fashion. Meaning, y'know, you've had love in your heart for all creatures great and small, been a responsible steward of the environment, turned the other cheek, recycled faithfully, flagellated yourself vigorously for those impure thoughts you've had when walking by American Apparel, and flossed regularly.

If you've done that, you should be all set and square with just about any maker, deity/s, or higher power who will be judging whether to honor you with a place in Valhalla or instead sentence you to a rendezvous with Sawyer, Jack, and Kate for a disappointing finale.

So, you've done all that righteous living, right?

Not so much, you say? Hrmm...

Well, then what you're gonna want to do is invest in some Good Works: charitable-type acts on your part in support of the needs of others. You know, that stuff that when you hear someone else does it, you say something like, "Yeah, right, he's just doing that so that no one can say he's a complete toolbox. You KNOW he cares more about the tax deduction than finding homes for those no-good slacker hobo clowns."

Now, here's where I can help you, cuz I've got a charitable-type act that totally supports the needs of others, namely, me, my Watch-A-Thon, and the awesome little moviehouse known as the Brattle Theatre.

P.S. Save a friend! Forward the good word on to those who don't want to be left behind with the mutants, reavers, and smokers.

P.P.S. Only three days to the finish line! Please donate, and let me know if you'd like to catch the original 3:10 TO YUMA or SKATETOWN USA at the Brattle, or FINAL DESTINATION 5 at Davis Square, with me this weekend. =)