Oklahoma Tornado

When there are no words, there are tears.

I’ll never forget the first time my daughter saw a homeless person sleeping in a cardboard box on the sidewalk in Manhattan. We were in a rush to meet friends at a restaurant, and I was winding our way through the crowds of pedestrians when I felt my daughter tug at my arm.

“Mommy, look. This man needs help. He’s sleeping in a box! We have to stop! We have to give him something to eat. Or some money. Or both.”

I didn’t stop. I mumbled something about there being hundreds of homeless people sleeping on rags on every corner in the city. We can’t feed all of them. We can’t stop every time we see them. We were late.

I walked quicker and told her not to stare. But she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away every time we passed another homeless person on the next few corners. By the time we arrived at the restaurant, my daughter was almost in tears. I tried to explain to her that there were shelters and food kitchens and ways that we could think of to help without stopping every time we saw someone begging for money.

But the tears rolled down her cheeks anyway. “I’m just so sad for them. Why do some people have to live like that?”

I didn’t have an answer, but suddenly, I wanted to cry with my daughter. When did I lose my ability to feel another’s pain? When did I start to look away from suffering?

Sometimes there are no words. But there are tears. When the pain and the devastation are beyond what we can fathom, we may not be able to do say anything. We may not be able to do anything. But we can feel each other’s pain. We may have no words, but we still have tears.

The Oklahoma tornado that hit leaves us speechless. The storm was 22 miles long with 200mph winds that devastated the town of Moore, Oklahoma, flattening homes, a hospital and two elementary schools. At least 24 people were killed including nine children and the number of fatalities is expected to rise as the rescue teams search for survivors. Over a hundred people have been pulled alive from the rubble. Plaza Towers elementary school was completely leveled, and parents walked for miles through the town’s rubble to reach their children who were being pulled out of the debris. Neighborhood volunteers and parents formed a line to help pass the rescued children from one set of arms to another until all the surviving children had been carried to the triage center set up in a nearby parking lot.

One of the sixth grade teachers at Plaza Tower elementary school heroically lay down on top of her students to shield them from the rubble. “I was in a bathroom stall with some kids and it just started coming down, so I laid on top of them. I never thought I was going to die. The whole time I just kept screaming to them, ‘We’re going to be fine, we’re going to be fine, I’m protecting you.” All of Rhonda Crosswhite’s students are now safe, and their parents credit their children’s survival to their teacher’s amazing courage.

There were tearful reunions at the elementary schools as parents searched frantically for their children and sobbed uncontrollably once they found them. For the parents whose children did not survive, the night was endless as they ran across the debris in a panic, holding onto their last vestiges of hope until the bodies were found. Whole city blocks were destroyed beyond recognition. Cars were tossed into trees and crumpled into piles. People’s homes were reduced to splinters of wood in a matter of seconds. There is no power and no water. There are hundreds of people still unaccounted for as the disaster teams try to clear away the rubble and treat the injured.

A family of four, including their baby, died in their home as they attempted to seek shelter in their freezer.

The videos and photos of this devastating storm leave all of us without words. The thousands of people who are now homeless. The hundreds of people who cannot find their loved ones. The parents who lost their children. The town that has just been leveled to an unrecognizable pile of rubble. We may not be able to run and help. We may not be able to stop at every street corner. But we can feel the pain of the loss. We can stop for a moment and consider the enormity of the devastation.

There may be no answers. But there are tears. Our hearts go out to the town of Moore, Oklahoma as they struggle to pick up the pieces. We pray that more survivors will soon be found, and we pray for the recovery of the injured. May their homes, their schools, and their hospitals be rebuilt quickly and may they find comfort from their losses. Don’t look away from those who are suffering even if there is nothing we can do, but cry with them. Even if just for a moment. We can’t lose that sense of compassion that made my daughter stop in her tracks on the streets of Manhattan. We can’t forget to feel for those who no longer have roofs over their heads as we sit in our own homes.

In a place of no words, there is the human heart. Feeling and grieving and breaking when we are faced with such an unbelievable sense of loss. And even when that is all we have to give, it is sometimes exactly what those who are suffering need the most.

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About the Author

Sara Debbie Gutfreund received her BA in English from the University of Pennsylvania and her MA in Family Therapy from the University of North Texas. She has taught parenting classes and self-development seminars and provided adolescent counseling. She writes extensively for many online publications and in published anthologies of Jewish women's writing. She and her husband spent 14 wonderful years raising their five children in Israel, and now live in Blue Ridge Estates in Waterbury, Connecticut, where Sara Debbie enjoys skiing and running in her free time.

Visitor Comments: 12

Other towns in Oklahoma were hit the day before, such as Shawnee, etc.

(11)
Judith,
May 24, 2013 1:14 AM

What about Bangladesh?

In Bangladesh, over 1000 people were killed. Did the tornado in Oklahoma generate this article because as an American, you feel more strongly for your countrymen? What about tears for the dead in Bangladesh?

(10)
yehudit,
May 23, 2013 1:22 PM

mercy

Children are much closer to G-d than the adults. Tears do nothing without deeds. If everyone of us gives a hand to a suffering creature, just to one, then the world will be different.

(9)
James,
May 22, 2013 10:48 PM

I'm still speechless

I was 9 miles north of Moore getting a jiu jitsu lesson when it started, and live 15 miles from the tornado path. We felt helpless as we watched the live destruction online. It was terrible. I still have not heard back from two people who lived in that area, and another person in Luther (tornado hit there Sunday).

On a positive note, community rabbis met with OU Hillel and Jewish Federation to determine how to assist. Members of the Jewish community are now directly working with Oklahoma Disaster Relief Fund, Infant Crisis Services, Regional Food Bank, NECHAMA, Moore Community Center, Red Cross, and many other organizations. Thankfully affected Jewish families only suffered damage to their homes.

It has been a tough week in the Oklahoma City Metro but HaShem is with us and things will get better.

(8)
bonnie,
May 22, 2013 8:42 PM

shame

They don't show this little girl praying on any of the news. What a shame. Why don't they show this, this is how it should be.

(7)
Tim Israel,
May 22, 2013 6:47 PM

Pray for Oklahoma

We in Oklahoma thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and tears. We are also thankful for those thousands of folks who are performing sacrificial acts of service to help those who have been impacted by the ravages of the tornadoes to be able to begin to work toward recovery. Several smaller towns in Oklahoma were also damaged by tornadoes that day and the day before.

(6)
Beverly Kurtin,
May 22, 2013 6:38 PM

Just after...

Just after I'd submitted my comments about the horrible Oklahoma tornadoes, WE got hit with 70 - 80 mile an hour winds. The wind only tore a few limbs from our beloved pecan tree, but Hashem is good...it blew off limbs we were going to have to trim anyway

Our roof? Well, that's another story; we need a new roof. Several shingles were blown up, so now they are standing at attention or just curled, but it did enough damage to require a new one.

In NO WAY do I even try to compare our minor damage to the tragic events in Moore. I still have not been able to confirm that they are okay. But I'm not just praying for their safety...I'm praying for all who were involved.

One remark on a general site really got my ire up; she said that God was punishing all the bad people. My belief is that weather happens; there are some really wonderful, kind people in Oklahoma, Although Hashem can do anything he wills, I do not believe he has to use EF5 tornadoes to take care of those who are evil.

Breaking news. 2,400 homes were destroyed...the death count is now 34 souls. The semi-good news is that each and every home is being searched three times to make certain that nobody is missed.

I've got to give a tip of the hat to the Texas Baptist Men who go to disasters to feed thousands of meals a day. They have their systems down to an art. I'm proud of them. One of my neighbors is involved.

(5)
Auriel,
May 22, 2013 5:57 PM

Words seem useless

That is what I said after finding out a friend lost her sister in that tornado.

I live in tornado alley as well. Just watching the scenes played out over and over again, brought back my own childhood memories of being separated from my parents in a tornado. The relief and fear I felt when strangers grabbed me and put me on a bus. The ear popping sensation and the roaring sound like a train, etc...

The 2 schools hit did not have a safe room, no tornado shelter as some of the newer schools have. I pray they will be rebuilt with shelters.

I 100% agree, There truly are no words...just tears.

(4)
Mary Ann Perry,
May 22, 2013 5:55 PM

Speechless indeed

I add my tears to yours Sara

(3)
Naison,
May 22, 2013 6:21 AM

may the Lord console those who mourn.

We are one with those who have gone before us, who have gone to a better and safer place. The secret things belongsto God, How He loves us all may He comfort us Amen

(2)
Beverly Kurtin,
May 22, 2013 2:57 AM

Death Toll Reduced!

Baruch Hashem, the death toll is nowhere near what was mentioned at first in the media; many bodies were counted twice. My heart is broken. I know people who live in Oklahoma City and Moore. I've been unable to ascertain whether or not they are okay yet, but they know what to do in case of a tornado.

Living as we do in the heart of "Tornado Alley," we have an underground shelter that was built to take an EF5 tornado. We have only had to use it three times, but it was wonderful to have the peace that if we did get hit, we would survive.

For over a decade I was a severe storm spotter for the Weather Service through the Radio Amateur Radio Service (RACES) and was the Dallas County Emergency Coordinator. Plus, I was a network manager for two "traffic nets," one on voice the other at high speed code.

Although we are called Amateurs, most of us are highly professional and well organized. By using ham radio messages it is possible for a message from California to reach New England faster than Western Union used to be able to get a message across.

I've worked several tornado nets. Because most people cannot read high speed code, I handled death notices, requests for blood, ambulances, medical personnel. The happy messages were from relatives saying they were alive and well. Tragically, however, I had to handle the death notices by calling relatives of the deceased.

At my age of two score and ten, plus, I wold not dare try some of the dangerous driving I used to do. Being able to legally speed was nice, however .

The death toll decreased thanks to some of the incredible new radars NOAA now has, but it still takes a spotter to view an area of severe turbulence. For any hams reading this, VY73 ES GL, DE KK5B SK(Very best wishes and good luck, this is station KK5B. Stop keying.

I just got married and have an important question: Can we eat rice on Passover? My wife grew up eating it, and I did not. Is this just a matter of family tradition?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chametz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chametz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. Chametz is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Hence the category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chametz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

Products of kitniyot often appear like chametz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chametz). Also, chametz grains may become inadvertently mixed together with kitniyot. Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot were prohibited.

In Jewish law, there is one important distinction between chametz and kitniyot. During Passover, it is forbidden to even have chametz in one's possession (hence the custom of "selling chametz"). Whereas it is permitted to own kitniyot during Passover and even to use it - not for eating - but for things like baby powder which contains cornstarch. Similarly, someone who is sick is allowed to take medicine containing kitniyot.

What about derivatives of kitniyot - e.g. corn oil, peanut oil, etc? This is a difference of opinion. Many will use kitniyot-based oils on Passover, while others are strict and only use olive or walnut oil.

Finally, there is one product called "quinoa" (pronounced "ken-wah" or "kin-o-ah") that is permitted on Passover even for Ashkenazim. Although it resembles a grain, it is technically a grass, and was never included in the prohibition against kitniyot. It is prepared like rice and has a very high protein content. (It's excellent in "cholent" stew!) In the United States and elsewhere, mainstream kosher supervision agencies certify it "Kosher for Passover" -- look for the label.

Interestingly, the Sefardi Jewish community does not have a prohibition against kitniyot. This creates the strange situation, for example, where one family could be eating rice on Passover - when their neighbors will not. So am I going to guess here that you are Ashkenazi and your wife is Sefardi. Am I right?

Yahrtzeit of Rabbi Moses ben Nachman (1194-1270), known as Nachmanides, and by the acronym of his name, Ramban. Born in Spain, he was a physician by trade, but was best-known for authoring brilliant commentaries on the Bible, Talmud, and philosophy. In 1263, King James of Spain authorized a disputation (religious debate) between Nachmanides and a Jewish convert to Christianity, Pablo Christiani. Nachmanides reluctantly agreed to take part, only after being assured by the king that he would have full freedom of expression. Nachmanides won the debate, which earned the king's respect and a prize of 300 gold coins. But this incensed the Church: Nachmanides was charged with blasphemy and he was forced to flee Spain. So at age 72, Nachmanides moved to Jerusalem. He was struck by the desolation in the Holy City -- there were so few Jews that he could not even find a minyan to pray. Nachmanides immediately set about rebuilding the Jewish community. The Ramban Synagogue stands today in Jerusalem's Old City, a living testimony to his efforts.

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

It is the nature of a person to be influenced by his fellows and comrades (Rambam, Hil. De'os 6:1).

We can never escape the influence of our environment. Our life-style impacts upon us and, as if by osmosis, penetrates our skin and becomes part of us.

Our environment today is thoroughly computerized. Computer intelligence is no longer a science-fiction fantasy, but an everyday occurrence. Some computers can even carry out complete interviews. The computer asks questions, receives answers, interprets these answers, and uses its newly acquired information to ask new questions.

Still, while computers may be able to think, they cannot feel. The uniqueness of human beings is therefore no longer in their intellect, but in their emotions.

We must be extremely careful not to allow ourselves to become human computers that are devoid of feelings. Our culture is in danger of losing this essential aspect of humanity, remaining only with intellect. Because we communicate so much with unfeeling computers, we are in danger of becoming disconnected from our own feelings and oblivious to the feelings of others.

As we check in at our jobs, and the computer on our desk greets us with, "Good morning, Mr. Smith. Today is Wednesday, and here is the agenda for today," let us remember that this machine may indeed be brilliant, but it cannot laugh or cry. It cannot be happy if we succeed, or sad if we fail.

Today I shall...

try to remain a human being in every way - by keeping in touch with my own feelings and being sensitive to the feelings of others.

With stories and insights,
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