Tag Archives: cat

I considered titling this post “why we can’t adopt a child”, but figured that would require too much explaining. Instead, some of you may remember that time my mother decided that a proper pet should serve as interior decoration (The Aesthetics of a Perfect Cat – choosing a pet)*. Well, this is a sort of continuation of that :D

It is true that, in many ways, my mother and I share the same taste (when it comes to Jude Law, for example, or the fact that chocolate cake is not adequate unless it is basically a brownie). However, some fundamental differences have cropped up. These differences include views on curfews, skirt lengths, bright purple nail-polish, tomatoes, or cats, as previously mentioned. But never did I expect for it to go so far as….

CHILDREN

it’s not what it sounds like

i swear, youre getting a totally wrong idea! #diggingmyowngrave

The thing is that my mom and I have had multiple conversations in the past like this:

Penny: That’s a cute one!

Mom: Nah…

Penny: It’s a baby, how can you be so mean?

Mom: It’s just ugly.

innocent child, blissfully unaware of the harsh critique it is receiving

Or this:

Mom: Ok, that one’s cute!

Penny: Hm….I suppose. It’s not quite my style.

Mom: What’s wrong with it?

Penny: It’s too pale. I like the chubby ones with sparkly eyes and everything. My mother did wish for me to specify that this is a sort of parody of reality, and that she does find all babies to be adorable (except for the screaming ones), especially the ones with sparkly eyes and everything. I guess I shouldn’t go around misrepresenting people like this.

ok, so this one might be suspecting something…

Fortunately, my mother and I probably won’t be adopting children together any time soon, so the problem remains irrelevant. Also, we’ve decided that my children will be the cutest anyway, so…I’m just going to be silent now…

Did you adopt? Did you buy from the pet-store? Did you get a kitten from your friend’s litter?

You see, my mother recently decided that we were going to finally get a cat. I say finally, because we have decided this at least four times in the last eight years, to very unspectacular results.

we own this book, and at age 12, i read the whole thing

This time doesn’t seem drastically different, because although we made up our minds as to how we were going to acquire a cat – we were going to adopt one – my mother has her heart set on getting a cat that also serves as interior decoration.

this would seem like the ideal solution (in fact, her comment on this picture was “actually, that’s beautiful”)

So, we got to searching every conceivable adopt-a-pet website for the most flawless animal we could find.

Not so difficult, you say? There are plenty of gorgeous cats, you say?

The problem was, my mother and I appear to have different tastes in cat.

Yes, because while I had previously believed my own preferred type of cat to be the universally appreciated one, I was apparently quite mistaken.

My choices were labelled “skinny”, “emaciated”, “ugly”, “scary”, “revolting”, “pitiful”, and my personal favorite: “depressed“. We wouldn’t want to get a cat in need of professional therapy, would we?

i feel like decision making would be simpler

Also, update: The cat can’t smell like a cat.

In other words, we probably won’t be getting a cat.

But we can always satisfy our longing for the feline creatures by consuming multiple hours of cat-videos on YouTube. And indeed, we have done this in the past.

i find it mildly concerning that not only is this an option, but ONE HOUR? #simslogic #underoroverstatement?

The best way to do this is by typing in “cute fluffy cat“, and then judging the fluffiness of the cats in question, while leaving insulting comments if the alleged “fluffy” cat is not fluffy enough.

that may or may not have happened…

Basically, I will most likely end up a crazy cat lady, while my mother goes through pages and pages of what she described as “a dating website for cats”, wishing she were a crazy cat lady.

As it is summer, I figure many of you may be going to exciting new places, travelling the world, visiting relatives, hangin’ at the beach, all of those fab things.

And of course, in order to achieve this fun (*insert salsa dance emoji here*) it is often necessary to fly.

alas, not like this #crushingdreams

This can be – entirely apart from the whole airport experience – quite a grueling process (although, the feeling of imminent death at take-off and landing do provide rather thrilling adrenaline rushes). Of course, as long as you’re not afraid of flying – I won’t add in any statistics here because I’m not sure if they’d be helpful or not – you can always just watch a dulling stream of, yknow, four, five, six movies and be done with it.

no judgement – also, fun fact: Whenever I’m on a plane, I get this irresistable urge to watch all the depressing movies – and I mean ALL of them. Les Mis, The Book Thief, Titanic, Gladiator, you name it. So then my neighbors get the beautiful picture of mascara streaming down my face the entire flight. I can’t help it.

However, it’s only a matter of time before you’re really just watching the leftover options, and this could be anything from StarTrek (pls don’t attack me for that) to Mickey’s Great Adventures. Ah, yes. Boredom strikes!

But do not despair, for here I have made a list….WAYS TO OCCUPY YOURSELF ON LONG PLANE FLIGHTS!!! #applauseapplause

1. Ring up the flight attendants for water. Decide you don’t want it when they arrive. Repeat until they refuse to come. Then complain.

jk I just wanted to put that in there. No rly here goes:

1. Move aroung until you discover the perfect sleeping position.

Pro: This could last the entire flight.

Con: Because that position doesn’t exist.

now THERES a real option

or you can always do it like this

2. Entertain the small child two seats down.

Pro: Could last the entire flight, because the child doesn’t tire.

Con: Could last the entire flight, because the child doesn’t tire.

fun, fun, fun all the way

3. Become friends with your neighbor.

Pro: Interesting new conversation partner.

Con: Realizing you have nothing in common two hours into your ten hour flight.