Have you been a victim of a mugging/robbery - how long does the trauma last?

Okay about 2 weeks ago i went to see a flat share on gumtree its similar to craigslist

the guy tried to mug me when i went to view, and grabbed hold of my coat demanding i give him everything on me,
well, being a girl i panicked and even though i was terrified, and he could have had a knife or anything, i shook free in the spur of the moment and
ran for the taxi i had waiting for me round the corner, and told the drive to go straight away

thank god i had a taxi as i didnt know the area, it probably saved my hide.
i reported it to the police and the guy was found and arrested but released the next day without charge
i was given `friendly advice` by the officer that he had arrested this guy before, and i was best avoiding him entirely as he knows very bad people
who are capable of very bad things. ugh

anyway, since then, even though i live in a different city to there, i have been terrified
i have cancelled all plans to move to that city, and im even too scared to look on gumtree again for anything

i never used to be like this till the other week, its like its turned me into an anxious nervous wreck, even here about 80 miles away from the city
where the incident happened, im still scared stiff that if i stay in a hotel i may see the person there or he may be nearby.

even though i got away thankfuly without being mugged or attacked in the end, i am still traumatised and an anxious wreck from it, i am wondering how
long this lasts for.

Doesn't help that the cops were basically no help at all and pretty much threatened you as far as I can tell?

Emotionally ... I have been held up a few times in a previous job. Oddly it never bothered me until one particular time I was hurt. After this I
became very hyper aware and would sometimes get nervous about things etc ... It sounds silly but it actually took me some time to admit / realize that
I had changed.

So it's hard to say. Sometimes you just shrug things off and other times they really burn you.

I hope things get better and I'd suggest just trying a little bit at a time. You won't always succeed but with the trying it gets better. Most
people are nice enough.

Over time that particular event in my life has taken more and more of a back seat along with some others, but I did make a conscious decision to work
on it.

Uh, you got away unscathed. You weren't hurt. You weren't raped. Nothing actually got stolen from you. I'm sure it was traumatic, but one of the
things you might think about is compare yourself to all the women who weren't as lucky as you, all the women who did not have a taxi conveniently
standing by, who were raped or physically injured, some for life. Do you think those women (and men, too, for that matter) might have a more difficult
time getting over their trauma than you will? Think of them and how traumatized they were and are, and how many of them were even killed in similar
incidents, and then tell how traumatized you are. Compare yourself to them. I'm sure, given your experience, that you will forevermore understand
much better than ever what they went through now, but the fact is, you were lucky. Think about how lucky you were. Maybe that will help.

My best advice? go pro-active on the matter. Find a good all female class for self defence, if you can, get a CCW permit and carry, or just get a
nasty defence spray that's clutch purse sized.

Then utilise it if needed.

The trauma can last years or months, your choice. dwell on it and do nothing to change the dynamic? that's a bad road to go down. Change, rise above
it, learn to defend yourself and well, the problems smoothed out a whole lot faster.

# if its a street robbery and they demand 'stuff' though, the rules simple: if you cannot draw and shoot faster than they can pull a trigger, throw
it at them, create space, and high tail it. No gadget or purse is worth dying for, none.

originally posted by: okamitengu
isnt that up to you?
depends how long you let yourself dwell on it.

Do you make a conscious decision to release your bladder when someone points a gun at you? Do you make a conscious decision to associate cat with hat?
Or does it just happen?

Is true you can choose to deliberately use something as an excuse instead of working on it, but you can't deliberately choose not to create
associations in your mind or have chemical responses. You just train your mind to stop it over time if you can.

originally posted by: schuyler
a reply to: uninfluenced
Think about how lucky you were. Maybe that will help.

Or it might just make you feel guilty and depressed?

Not everyone reacts the same to trauma. By all means get inspired by someone's efforts, but whipping yourself all day can just make it worse.

I was walking home from a job interview...the first I'd had in months. Strangely enough, I wasn't armed. I've carried a sidearm with me everyday for
the last couple of years, and this particular day I didn't. The only reason for that is because the place I was interviewing at isn't "gun-friendly"
and I was told that firearms are not allowed on the premises. Even though I have a CCW permit, I obliged their rules because I really need work and I
wasn't going to jeopardize the interview. Long story short, the one day I don't have my weapon on me is the one day when I actually needed it.

Anyway, I'm walking home from the interview...elated because I got the job. I'm approached by a guy who asks me for a cigarette...I don't smoke...so
he asked for some change...and I don't have any. He shows me his snub-nosed .38 and tells me to give him everything. At this moment I'm more pissed
than scared because a) I don't have my weapon and b) I have almost $1,200 in my wallet. Well, he gets my wallet and my cellphone....and even took my
ballpoint pen. After he scurried off into the distance I walked to the nearby convenience store to call the police. I filed a report, but the cop
actually says to me that "since he didn't shoot or assault me it would be a lower priority case". He asked why I was dressed so nice and had so much
money on me, as if I was "inviting the rape" so to speak. I didn't care for the police before this, and I care even less for them now.

Bottom line...it sucks. Even if you forget about the lost money, having to replace my license, debit card, and other "wallet things", it felt like a
real violation. I will never forget ol boys face...and if I ever see him in the street I don't know how I'd react. I'm a big guy...over six feet and
about two-fiddy. I've never felt so helpless in my life. Thinking back on it doesn't scare me...it just makes me angry...it makes me contemplate all
the "what-ifs". I'm not a nervous wreck or anything like that...I'm just pissed that I was made into a victim when under normal circumstances it
would have gone a whole lot differently...although maybe not having my piece on me might have saved my life or freedom....ya never know.

At least I got the job...that was the only bright spot that week.

You will be okay, and you will be stronger because of what happened. As far as your attacker, people always get what's coming to them, one way or
another.

I knew a guy that got robed at gun point delivering pizza, tossed into a bathtub in a vacant apartment. Shook him up badly. He retired that night
right away. I saw the guy about a year and a half later and he was an absolute mess, didn't even look the same. Disheveled, scatterbrained a look of
real anxiety and panic still permeated.

Another guy I know was robed 5 or more times and just kept on delivering those pizzas.

I;m glad to see you got away without getting hurt. That fear will always be in back of your mind, it is part of who you are now. Someone is watching
over you, it's no coincidence that things happened the way they did.

Picture that guys face on a fly and smack it with a flyswatter. It would suck if the fly kept getting away.

a reply to: uninfluenced Trauma affects us all differently.If you are having flashbacks try to ground yourself in the present.An
example..touch your face and remind yourself who you are,touch your pet and say their name,identify with whatever you can control at that moment.Use
your ears to remind yourself you hear anything that takes you out of "that" moment and puts you in the now.Remember deep breathes and exhale.You
already survived...now you need to live again.Best of luck i do know what you are enduring.

Sorry to hear about your experience .. good to see you got out of it relatively unscathed .. would recommend a good martial arts course - the combat
style not the pitty pat sport styles ..
It varies with the person as to how long it takes to get over it for some a couple weeks for others a lifetime .. talking with a good counselor or
friend helps whatever you do dont let them medicate you it can be overcome without medication ..

Been a few times over the years in my travels had people try to liberate my wallet .. walked away leaving them laying on the ground in pain ..never
did bother with police reports .. figured they learned the lesson.

As to locating a place to live inquire with friends and relatives far safer than searching on the internet ..

Good luck to you even though it will be difficult for awhile for you try to rest and dont spend all your time dwelling on it.. that will only make
things worse and take a toll on your health ..

You don't ever 'get over' a traumatic event- you learn to deal with it, and let the memory recede in your thoughts.
You need to empower yourself by learning not only means for getting out of dangerous situations, but more importantly not putting yourself in
situations like that in the first place.
Never NEVER answer such an add alone! If you can't find a big guy to escort you, hire one! You could have checked with the local police department
before meeting with this guy, and they could have saved you a trip!
There is lots of information on the internet to help you develop safety techniques, and researching how to read body language would also be
helpful;....but the most important thing is not to get yourself in these type of situations in the first place, and then already have a plan in your
mind on how to handle unexpected events.
Replace your fear with a good set of proactive self defense skills.

2 As already mentioned, learn a good martial art, you have no idea what a difference this will make to your whole life! It really does rock. If I
knew your body shape, mass and height, I could recommend a few.

You think post traumatic stress syndrome is that reasonable. Being violated and yes there are degrees, but for some just having had someone in their
home, even if something prevented worse, is the most violating experience. I've experienced mild to more, versions of things, and can take years to
recover, literally, years.

Yes, that is the true answer. Sometimes professional help isn't as good as self help. ie. professional help can assist, but if you continue too
long with that, it just stirs the pot, so you have an episode doing the laundry.

Whereas, journal writing, meditation, and especially this one: see yourself going over the bridge. The other side is the next phase of your life or
a place where you can discover the gifts to use, if you can make it across the bridge. I finally did, several meditations later, but for me this
enormous Troll was under the bridge and kept smashing me back, and it was only after I while that it came out that this Troll was connected to all the
trauma and was like a bully not letting me move on, and I had to grow bigger to push past, then on the other side, walked up a path to a lake, and
took a boat, down the lake. The meditation suggested to stop wherever you wish and examine the cabin, and who was there and what gifts you were going
to use. It was writing, well I write on line. Margaret Atwood and Pierre Trudea was there, and he was apologizing for his harm to women and
equality, and I thought wow, post about the world, politics even.

If you have been violated and feel post traumatic stress syndrome you have inner rage. The troll can be rage too. And stirring the pot after initial
resources and help from counseling is not always helpful. In a society where you're supposed to be polite and quiet, sometimes going to the basement
with an old mattress and a bat, and yelling every name you want to hand that one who harmed you is a good discharge of rage. It helped me, and I read
about it from a counselor. Give it back to that person. Eventually you find your compassion for them.

Perhaps some judo or ty quon do. Or kick boxing if your limber.

But unresolved trauma, victimization and rage can lead to major health problems, cancer and death. It can be a murder sentence. Discharge
it.

I've been robbed at gunpoint by a skinny crack-head chick. I only had 40 bucks on me and I was in no mood to get shot. I didn't really have to
spend much time getting over it. The next time a guy tried to take my wallet, I was prepared, and he got hurt pretty good.

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