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Annyone adopted a child with FSA??? We are being matched but are a little nervouse. He is almost 4yrs old and has been in foster care since 2 months old. I currently have a daycare child with FSA and I really enjoy him. However, I can't imagin raising him. I know I would have different parenting styles with my adopted child than the child in my daycare has but still I can't figure out if that will be enough. Any replies would be great!
angie

Sorry yes that is what I ment to say. I also just lkearned his mother swallowed a bag a Haroin while pg. We recently got to review his file and the more I read the more I really want to help but I still am really nervouse. I just want to make sure we will be able to help and parent him the way he need to be. Any advice would be great.
thank you,
angie

I deal with another problem.. I had gastric sleeve surgery and now being pregnant is not safe.. for me and the baby. so I think a better choice is adoption as I don t want to have a complicated and risked pregnancy..

I think that you mean FASD -- fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. If so, yes, you should think carefully about the decision. While many children who were prenatally exposed to alcohol have no lasting effects, or only minor ones such as a little hyperactivity or some difficulty grasping math concepts, some can turn out to have mental retardation, serious impulse control problems, and the like. And while some children will be born with distinctive facial features, like absence of the vertical lines between the nose and the upper lip, called the philtrum, others may look perfectly normal, yet may have serious impairment. Often, FASD can't be diagnosed with certainty until a child reaches school age, because so many FASD behaviors are normal in toddlers, but abnormal in older children.

As an example, mothers watch toddlers carefully so they don't run into the road to catch a ball or see a puppy on the other side of the street; impulsiveness is a hallmark of toddlers. Most healthy seven and eight year olds know to look both ways and proceed with caution, but a child who is alcohol exposed will stand out as different in this regard, and may maintain high impulsivity throughout life. Toddlers may "borrow" things that do not belong to them, because they want them, and do not fully understand that taking things without permission is wrong. Older children generally know what's OK and not OK in this area, but it's very common for children and adults with FASD to shoplift and steal, because, like a toddler, their impulses tell them to take something, and are not blocked by learned inhibitions. Kids with severe FASD may never be able to live independently, or may try to live on their own but wind up in trouble with the law, unable to stick to a budget, unable to keep a job, etc.

The severity of a child's FASD depends, to some extent, on factors such as the stage of pregnancy in which a woman drank alcohol, the amount of alcohol consumed, and so on. Unfortunately, even if a given pregnant woman is honest in relating her history of alcohol consumption, there's no foolproof way of knowing whether her child will have no impairment, some impairment, or significant disability. And, of course, many women who abuse alcohol aren't truthful about their alcohol use. And there's not enough research to say with any certainty that use of illegal drugs, or abuse of prescription drugs, along with alcohol consumption, will increase a child's FASD impairment. Unfortunately, many women whose children wind up in the adoption system have used both alcohol and one or more drugs during pregnancy.

There is no "cure" for FASD. However, researchers at places like the FASD clinic at the University of Washington have demonstrated that there are ways of raising children with FASD that help to reduce undesirable behaviors and to increase ability to function in school and in life. In cases where FASD is suspected or is recognizable at an early age, working with a good FASD program, starting right away, can really make a difference in a child's functioning.

Still, even with support from a good FASD program, raising a child who has FASD-related impairments is challenging and not for everyone. I would suggest that you find an online group of families raising FASD-affected children, and talk with them about the challenges -- and the joys. I would also suggest that you do a lot of reading on the subject, and talk about it with a pediatrician, especially one affiliated with an FASD program. A person who might be able to steer you in some good directions is Dr. Julia Bledsoe, a pediatrician associated with the FASD program at the University of Washington, the oldest such program in the U.S. Besides having a special interest in FASD, she is an adoption medicine specialist who reviews referral information with prospective parents, especially those adopting from foreign countries where alcohol abuse is common.

If you turn down a placement because of known or suspected FASD, no one should blame you. But if you are one of those special people who can commit to parenting a child who may have FASD, with all of its unknowns and challenges, you will be helping a child who might otherwise not get all the help he/she needs, to reach his/her fullest potential. And that makes you quite a hero, in my estimation. Just go into adopting a child with known or suspected FASD with lots and lots of information, and with awareness of resources for supporting and assisting you.

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