Pastor Bob Tousey is the father of two adult children and the proud grandfather of three. He Grew up on Long Island and served in the United States Air Force and has spent most of his adult life in Maryland. He was ordained in 2001 and often blogs about life's challenges, including his own and how God allows us to uses challenges to serve His Kingdom. Follow Pastor Bob on Twitter www.twitter.com/pastorbobtousey

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Saturday, October 11, 2014

Note from Pastor Bob: Stephine is my daughter in law and she posted this on Facebook earlier today (October 11, 2014 which is her 11th wedding anniversary). I was really impressed with these lessons and asked permission to post them on my blog. I did have a follow up question regarding lesson one and I will post my question and Stephanie's response at the end of this post.

Here's 11 things I've learned after 11 years of marriage:

1) Its ok to go to sleep angry. Some things just aren't going to be resolved in one conversation;

2) appreciate each others roles and responsibilities. No matter how you feel, you DON'T do EVERYTHING;

3) Thank each other for all the big and little things you do for one another;

4) model the respect and love you desire your children to have in a relationship; 5) cherish every moment, even the moments of insanity, you'll look back one day and be proud you got thru them together; 6) never give up or give in. Ever; 7) make time for each other, even if its date night in. Play cards in
bed, be sneaky, hide from the kids and share dessert together; 8) share inside jokes or secrets; 9) leave random notes or send texts of love;
10) compliment each other, right out of bed, stressed, in the moments
of chaos make eye contact and just smile, be an amazing team; 11) put the phones down, dont overlook or miss out on whats right in front of you.

Chris I love you ‪#‎4ever‬
we share a bond like no other. There's no one else I could ever spend
my life with. We are an amazing team and make the impossible happen.

Now the question I had about question one. I asked if even when they were angry if they still said "I love you" when they went to bed? This question is important to me because it is the advice I give to every couple whose wedding I officiate ---- Never go to bed without saying "I love you." I officiated their wedding so I was interested if they followed my advice. This is Stephanie's response.

"Of course. Anger or frustration doesn't stop you from loving someone. I really just think taking a break and revisiting a topic on another day with a fresh mindset can be beneficial." I couldn't agree more !! Quite often after a good night's rest and tension calmed the issue or issues just seem easier to resolve.

Thanks for allowing me to share this Stevie (our family name for Stephanie). I love you and Chris. You are a great example to your children, myself and others. You have had to overcome significant challenges that many couples never face and the two of you did it. You are both a shining example of how to love and work together as a team.

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About Me

Bob is a Christian Pastor. Bob holds a Bachelor's degree from the University of Maryland and a Juris Doctor degree from the University of Baltimore School of Law. He is currently an MBA candidate at Liberty University. Bob is also Chair of the Governor's Commission on Suicide Prevention. He has previously served as a fire department Chaplain and International Vice President of Parents Without Partners. Bob has spoken
at conferences through out the United States and Canada. Bob is the Father of 2 adult children
and grandfather of 4.