A friend explained to me just recently, just before my trip last week
on the new HAL flagship Rotterdam VI, that HAL was a Potamkin village.
When I asked him what he meant, he explained that HAL was attempting
to maintain a continued image of Dutch ships with a Dutch tradition
when this was not at all the case. Carnival Corp was hiding behind
cheap cardboard cut-outs of what used to be, hoping to fool it's loyal
passengers into believing they were actually still seeing the Real
Thing. He was being both lyrical and foreboding with his description.
I'm glad he warned me, but I guess I already suspected what was
happening.

I've followed the building and completion of HAL's newest "flagship"
from the very beginning. I listened intensely as we got regular
updates on the progress of this ship. I was so interested in seeing
it that Hans and I actually contemplated an invitation to go to Italy
to be there when the ship was to be handed over from the shipyard to
the new owners back on September 30th of 1997. That date would have
been our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary and a trip to Venice sounded
romantic, anyway. The ship was not to be finished by September 30th,
when SS Rotterdam V was taken out of service, renamed SS Rembrandt and
sold to Premier Lines. In fact, rumors began to surface about the new
ship's mechanical problems during sea trials, rumors that have
continued to shadow it even now, when it has been in full service for
almost seven months. When the new ship was ready to sail early last
December, we thought about flying down to Florida to greet it and see
it for ourselves when it arrived in the United States. Now, I'm
glad we didn't go to Italy last September. And I'm glad we didn't fly
to Florida in December.

The M.S. Rotterdam (the sixth such ship in the history of the line)
was built in Italy and is registered in the Netherlands. It weighs
62,000 gross tons, is 780 feet in length, has a 106.4 feet beam at the
Lido Deck level and has a draught of approximately 25 feet. Height
above the waterline is 159.5 feet. Main propulsion is two electric
motors and service speed is 22.5 knots, although the ship reached 25
knots during sea trials. The ship was built with two bow thrusters and
one stern thruster. There are 13 decks, 4 penthouse suites, 36 deluxe
suites, 120 mini-suites, as well as 382 standard outside staterooms
and 117 inside staterooms. Maximum passenger capacity is 1,668 and
crew is 630 maximum.

The itinerary: embarking in New York (some passengers embarking in
Florida), one day at sea to Bermuda , then three days across the
Atlantic to the Azores for two days (a port call at Horta one day and
at Ponta Delgada the second day), another day at sea and terminating
in Lisbon, Portugal. Present onboard were members of the SSHSA, Long
Island Chapter and the World Ship Society PONY (Port of New York)
Branch. There were also members from the Liners e-mailing list and
the newsgroup rec.travel.cruises, as well as some members of AOL's
Cruise Critic message boards.

The Rotterdam VI is a Statendam-class type ship, but built a bit
larger in the engine room for increased power and speed for
trans-ocean crossings. Hans had the opportunity to take a tour of the
engine room one day. The whole power plant is diesel electric. Five
sixteen-cylinder engines which run two huge generators. The
generators run two big propulsion motors. Everything is operated by
computers and is run on a big board. Very neat, very clean and
well-attended by staff. He inquired about one of the engines
inasmuch as it was shut down and he was told it was only "routine
warranty maintenance". I suppose that's like bringing your Yugo in for
an oil change and new spark plugs? Hmm.

The ship is supposed to take the place of the much-loved Rotterdam V,
but it does not. This is not a "flagship" in any sense of the word,
and I must admit to bristling every time I heard a member of the staff
refer to it as such. The decor mixes ill-attempted touches of the
past with annoying and contrived things that make one wonder if they
are still on the same ship. Walk down the Upper Promenade Deck to find
several areas of beautiful, classic elegance such as the Explorer's
Lounge (very under-used, at least on this trip) with it's gorgeous
inlaid tile dance floor, the Ambassador Lounge with it's ceiling style
garnered from the previous and much-loved Nieuw Amsterdam. Then, all
of a sudden, a literal herd of clay Chinese warriors complete with
horses appears "in your face", so to speak. The change in environment
and mood is abrupt and unnerving. I still can't figure out why that
statuary is there. Neither can most of the passengers I spoke with.
My bet (and my hope) is that the whole display will be gone
within a year or two.

The ship shows it's connections to Carnival/Farkas too often and much
too colorfully, although he allegedly had nothing to do with the
interiors. Shades of orange appear neurotically in places it wouldn't
be on the older HAL ships like the Westerdam and the "N" ships. There
is also many abrupt changes in style from Italianate to deco to rococo
to neo-classic to post-modern to Oriental and back again, all within a
few yards of deck space. I couldn't help but feel like I was moving
from one ship to another ship to another ship, and it was a dizzying
prospect.

The materials used on the Rotterdam VI are plastic-y and cheaply
rendered, which meant bathroom cabinet doors that didn't close tight
and vanity drawers that didn't open smoothly. A variety of small
things also pointed to sloppy construction, such as a strange cold
breeze that blew through the bathroom side door jam and the smell of
cigarette smoke that emanated from the medicine cabinet whenever it
was left open for more than a few minutes (Hans thought I was nuts
when I told him about this, but after he saw...and smelled...for
himself, he became a believer). The carpet by the door to our
verandas was damp from underneath whenever it rained or the deck
outside became wet for whatever reason. SOLAS requirements be damned,
but I'd rather burn on an elegant, well-designed ship.

We had a cabin with a verandah on the (what else?) Verandah Deck this
trip. I do wish ships would once again have proper sounding deck
names, such as A Deck, B Deck, Promenade Deck and so on. HAL does
seems to hold true to this most of the time and tries to stick with
this (although a Dolphin Deck was put between A Deck and Main Deck),
but many of the other cruise lines go off the deep end. Maybe it was
because I was on a crossing rather than a cruise that I was sensitive
to this for some reason. A "Calypso" Deck or a "Waikiki" Deck just
doesn't cut it somehow out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. At
any rate, our cabin, which I expected to have more room, considering
it's location and category, was no bigger than an average-sized cabin.
It was not at all well planned and somewhat cramped. Getting to the
bathroom while someone was attempting to open a closet door in the
entry area was almost impossible. Lighting was very inadequate
throughout the entire cabin, so much so that even simply reading the
Daily Program made one seek out better light.

The ship and it's renown reputation for cleanliness ("HAL...The
Spotless Fleet") came into question several times, but one occasion
sticks in my mind. Some of us were lazing around near the Ocean Bar
on Upper Promomenade port side near the Atrium one late afternoon. On
one of the large plate glass windows that extend from ceiling to bench
were lots of paint splatters, enough to distract anyone from the
majesty of the sea passing by outside. We all noted that it would not
have taken any time at all to clean this, and that we couldn't have
been the first guests to have spotted it. It was distracting at
least, disturbing at best, on a ship that belongs to a company that
always prided themselves on a spic-and-span reputation. However, our
cabin was kept in good shape and most other areas of the ship also
seemed well-maintained. There were just some things that were
disturbing (such as this example of paint splats) to see on a ship
less than a year old.

There had also been a great deal of hubbub about mechanical problems
with Rotterdam VI since it's sea trials last Spring and debut last
Autumn in Italy. While in Bermuda, we spotted several sullen-looking
workmen in white Fincanteri jumpsuits coming and going from the ship.
An ominous sight, to say the least. On our trip, we had relatively
normal weather and mid-Atlantic sea conditions, but from the way the
ship hit the water, one could tell it was clearly not built for
Atlantic crossings, but Caribbean cruisings. It has a "tremble" for
lack of a better word and a slight, intermit ant vibration that runs
the length of the ship. I would think that this ship might be
terribly uncomfortable in bad weather or rough sea conditions.

At this point in my review I guess I should comment about the exterior
of the ship. On our first port of call, Bermuda, where we dropped
anchor off Southampton, we were on our way in by tender to Hamilton
when I remembered I wanted to take my camera for a few photos of the
Rotterdam VI. We had always done this with other ships, most notably
Rotterdam V. I looked back at Rotterdam VI and thought "do I really
want a photo of this ship?" It sat there at anchor, looking like a
large cinder block with an uncomfortable front point to it, with two
outsized salt and pepper shakers on top for the stacks. There was no
grace to this ship, no wonderful lines to the unique stacks, like
Rotterdam V. This was not at all a handsome ship, not by any stretch
of the imagination. I noticed this again on our way in from Ponta
Delgada in the Azores later in the trip. The ship, with it's lifeless
stacks and high bulky profile, reminded me of a factory or a power
plant.

There was some confusion the day of boarding since Rotterdam VI was
making it's first call to New York. There were about 250 members of
local chapters of several ocean liner and steam ship associations
waiting to board for a reception. There were the regular passengers
waiting to board. There was also a large group of area TA's waiting
for their first peek at the ship. Hans and I belonged to both former
groups. Though the lines were long, HAL reps handled it well. Or so
we thought. Having filled out all of our documentation regarding
boarding and immigration like good cruisers should do, we were
irritated to learn that HAL lost my forms after I handed them in. I
was asked to re-do them, a simple thing; however, HAL had taken our
passports and issued receipts on this voyage (something I had read
about from others, but have never experienced myself) which meant I
had no idea the exact date my passport expired and this information
was called for! Easy to provide when you're filling these things out
in your living room, more difficult if not impossible to do from
memory. Some of the normal things to be taken care of, like shipboard
credit accounts and shore excursions meant waiting on long lines.
Very irritating to have to deal with while on vacation. I never
remembered all of this as the norm on HAL's ships in the past. In
fact, after a surly young Indonesian bar hostess became annoyed at a
member of our group when he told her he had given his drink order to
another waitress, I felt sure that if this was the very first time I
had booked an HAL cruise, I wouldn't be back again. Later in the trip
I was to discover that high tea in the afternoon was not at all like
it used to be (in the HAL "Good Old Days"?). Rather than being
served tea and "goodies", the event was now a buffet! I don't think
the folks who originated afternoon tea had this in mind.

Some pluses (you thought there would be none?): The Lido Restaurant
on the Rotterdam VI is as good or better than it has ever been and far
better than any Lido or Lido-style food service onboard any ship
afloat, in my opinion. The variety and the goodness is there, meal
after meal. The area is pleasant and roomy, and the service is good.
The only gripe I have about the Lido is those darned salt "mills" to
match the pepper mills. Who ever heard of a salt "mill"? HAL got
fancy and it was not necessary. Anyway, they don't work well, if at
all. We wound up taking the thing apart every time we were up there.
I know, a small annoyance, but the ship was full of small annoyances
like this.

Another plus is the elevators. They are quick, roomy (with seats!),
and quiet (if you don't count the female robotronic voice announcing
the floors) all over the ship and they are used ALL the time by the
passengers. I should note here that our particular voyage had many
older travelers. One member of our group wondered how some of them
managed to get onboard at all under their own steam, and there was
many wheelchairs and walkers in evidence throughout the trip.

Yet another plus: excellent insulation and soundproofing between
cabin-to-cabin, but I understand that cabins-to-public spaces,
especially cabins adjacent to the Queens Lounge stage area was a
problem. Climate/temperature control was excellent. The verandahs were
deep with solid doors and were private.

There was some wonderful and intensely interesting "ship" folks
onboard. Indeed, the group we sailed with and the folks onboard is
what made this trip so great for me. Luis Miguel Correia, maritime
historian, photographer and author of eight books, including one he
recently did with Bill Miller, gave lectures on SS Rotterdam V and
CCL's Portuguese ships. David Zeni, author of "Forgotten Empress"
about the Empress of Ireland and her sinking on the St Lawrence River
a few years after the Titanic disaster, also gave an interesting slide
lecture on the subject. Joe L'Episcopo, from the ship's Shore
Excursion office, gave an animated and informative talk on 100 years
of sea travel and also, another informative presentation on the
sinking of the RMS Titanic with comments and information not known by
many folks who are just recently and tan gently interested in the
subject as a result of the success of the blockbuster movie.
Memorabilia-man Richard Faber was handy with enough goodies to keep
even the most devout ship shopper happy, and one of the highlights of
this journey was afternoon conversations with 88 year old Com.
Alexandersen, formerly of the SS United States, who was travelling
with his wife and friends. What a bounty of information and stories
he had! Bermudian ship artist Stephen Card was also onboard and had
a interview and question-and-answer session one afternoon, as well.

I had a great time on my first crossing, and I would very much like to
do many more crossings in the near future rather than continue with
cruises, Caribbean or otherwise. I want to travel on the real ocean
liners, the ships that make the trip special. The Rotterdam VI
unfortunately was not special. Think of it this way: The Rotterdam V
was a genuine Miss America with style and class and purpose. She was
beautiful, so beautiful you could not NOT look at her. She performed.
She was pretty AND strong. She was a classic, but she got old and she
got "dumped" by those that should have taken better care of her. Shame
on them.

Using the same standards of comparison, the Rotterdam VI is an ugly
duckling who should not have been allowed to enter the contest at the
local level, let alone get into the finals in Atlantic City. She
doesn't smile, she has no real talent to speak of and she looks awful
in the swimsuit competition. She cannot even be considered for Miss
Congeniality. One wonders how the same standards of judging were used
to be able to call both unique flagships.

Call me shallow, but I want my Miss America to shine, to smile, to be
worthy of the title. There are no jewels in this young lady's crown,
and she's tripping on the hem of her gown as she tries to walk down
the runway.