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Today I skimmed flights from where I think I will be to a friend’s wedding in November on the Mayan Riviera. Attendance, unlikely, unfortunately. A lot of my classmates have opted for quick destination weddings, meaning few friends end up going. For me, the idea of getting married is not as horribly stress inducing as the idea of figuring out where to get married. So it’s better not to think about it at all…

Looking at flights always gets me thinking about the next step. Even now there’s a critical eye to a suitcase that may need to be packed fully in five months for another intercontinental mission (the last involving hauling all of my worldly goods on New York transit and down about a mile of street searching for accomodation, during a heat wave, not so awesome). Logististics and financing. It gets easier every time, but never really automates. Overall, though, it’s helped trim all the fat from life. I look at what I have, in terms of material goods, and it is so oddly satisfying. The cupboard isn’t bare, but it is well edited and complete. My necessary papers are a very minor folder of accounts, all accessible online. Our house is small but uncluttered, and very functional. Having a certain level of happiness with abbreviated circumstances causes more questions about what is worth the effort to work for, how the economics of owning something play out to improve life. In this country, visible affluence is punished by the need for more security, more risk being incurred. The next step seems like it will just mean more carving out.

At the same time, there are a couple of things I sometimes consider and want, like a new laptop with high speed internet (even a small amount, the new laptop being a Mac), or a bike. It’s really not much.