I think it would be a cruel name to give to a son. Once a name becomes popular as a girls name, it comes across as very effeminate on a boy. If you are going to use, seek out some grown male Ashley's ask how much they like their name.

I'm going to agree with this. The stories relayed in support of Ashley all describe what sounds like a small, tight-knit community where everybody knows everybody. I moved often growing up, and it can be really tough to go into a new environment... especially in high school. Everybody scrutinizes you, and you can become an easy target. Also, when you go to a large school (as I did from K-12) or a large university (as I did), nobody's going to say "Oh, that's just Ashley", because you are constantly meeting more and more people. Moreover, what about the people who don't know you well? I worked at a store years ago with a male Shannon. Although we didn't care much about his name, we'd often get jerkish customers cracking jokes (the worst being teenage boys). People will always assume he's a girl. Would you want to go to a job interview and have a potential employer surprised, thinking you were a girl? Or a telemarketer/ doctor's office/ teacher call you Ms./ Mrs.? While it's not a problem in tight-knit circles, modern life includes more mobility and interaction with strangers. Personally, I wouldn't use it due to the risk. After all, you are not naming yourself... you are naming a child. I think it's a bit unfair to saddle them with a name that you know could be problematic and/or awkward. If you like it, put it as a mn, so the child has more of a choice whether or not to use it.

I'm going to agree with this. The stories relayed in support of Ashley all describe what sounds like a small, tight-knit community where everybody knows everybody. I moved often growing up, and it can be really tough to go into a new environment... especially in high school. Everybody scrutinizes you, and you can become an easy target. Also, when you go to a large school (as I did from K-12) or a large university (as I did), nobody's going to say "Oh, that's just Ashley", because you are constantly meeting more and more people. Moreover, what about the people who don't know you well? I worked at a store years ago with a male Shannon. Although we didn't care much about his name, we'd often get jerkish customers cracking jokes (the worst being teenage boys). People will always assume he's a girl. Would you want to go to a job interview and have a potential employer surprised, thinking you were a girl? Or a telemarketer/ doctor's office/ teacher call you Ms./ Mrs.? While it's not a problem in tight-knit circles, modern life includes more mobility and interaction with strangers. Personally, I wouldn't use it due to the risk. After all, you are not naming yourself... you are naming a child. I think it's a bit unfair to saddle them with a name that you know could be problematic and/or awkward. If you like it, put it as a mn, so the child has more of a choice whether or not to use it.

All of those arguments can be made for any boy name. And for all these boy names people are giving their daughters. Those are also the excuses some give against certain "ethnic" names. Any and every name under the sun has teasing potential. You could name the kid Robert and he'd still be teased. I wouldn't give up a perfectly fine name over fear of other people's ignorance.

And I didn't come from a small community. I came from a diverse, international community. Boys with names like Courtney, Kelly, Shannon, and etc were not teased, nor were kids with names like Abessi, Ranjit or Evgeny. It was not the end of the world when we had Loren (boy) and Lauren (girl) in the same class. It also wasn't life ruining when a substitute teacher spent the whole day calling David "Ashley" because he was sitting in (girl) Ashley's assigned seat.

I worked with a male Ashley for a while back in my university days. He went by Ash always, his nametag just said Ash, I didn't even realise his name was Ashley until I happened to see his driver's license one day. I do think it might be difficult for some boys to wear, but Ash is a fairly handy unisex nickname, so it's not going to traumatise him or anything. I personally prefer Asher, though.