Police from the absolute paradise known as the Gold Coast have found themselves in some pretty hot water after they were caught “soliciting” victims in order to improve crime statistics in the area, a recent report has found.

Tabled in parliament on Wednesday, the report found that Gold Coast police had an unhealthy focus on achieving performance targets on the tourist strip over quality data. So what you’re mate said about “Cops only out here trying to fund their Christmas party” actually has some merit now.

It was found that officers had multiple ways to make victims withdraw their complaints, thereby increasing the clearance rate. Apparently, one tactic is sending letters to victims that require them to respond within seven days or else it would be “presumed” no further action was wanted and the complaint withdrawn.

Another method was a “three strikes policy” where, if the victim couldn’t be contacted after three attempts, the complaint would be marked as withdrawn.

The report was drawn from information that was gathered during an audit, which lasted between March 2016 until March 2017.

Police minister Mark Ryan reckons that the release of the report was a good thing and it was already being acted on by the police and ministers alike. “I have also asked the police commissioner for regular updates on improvements to the QPS’ governance and quality assurance systems that are aimed at improving crime reporting quality and accuracy,” Ryan said in a statement.

Sounds like they’ve been caught with their pants around their ankles. Goldie cops, you done fucked up.