Leslie Crowther Jokes

Here's a funny thing, I got home at 3 this morning and found the wife crying her eyes out. I said "What's Up"
She said "Well since you've been out we've had a burglar"
I said "Did he get anything?"
She said "Yeah I thought he was you?"

You know my secret I dye my hair, now that is a fact. But the problem is I forget to dye the hair on my chest it's like I'm steel wool here. The problem is with my skinny legs and that, when I take my clothes off, control yourself madam, when I take my clothes off from their down I look like a brillo pad on stills.

My Good Woman
Sylvia Syms: You've excelled yourself you've made an apple turnover.
Leslie: Well actually I made it do a double somersault.

Leslie: Oh Well since we are being clear and giving and taking and all of that, you'll be sorry to learn that I haven't made the gravy.
Sylvia: That's alright darling, none of us are perfect.

The Price Is Right
"I had to audition very recently for the price is right. In fact Joe Brown and I as close as two years ago. We both did pilot shows and I narrowly won."

Interviewer: The program has had it's critics, hasn't it...
Leslie: Had it's critics?, critics they've queued up to slag us off. When it first burst on the public in 1984 3 years ago, A guy called James Murray in the Daily Express referred to me in print as a "glob of alien stinkweed". Well you try reading that over your cornflakes.

Catchphrases
"Come On Down!"
"Spin That Wheel"
"We're going to give you the opportunity to win one of six prizes."