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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mo Vadge Deux

If you didn't hide me or unfriend me or self-combust after reading my last post, then you may continue. But if you are sensitive and do not recognize the fact that VAGINA IS A MEDICAL TERM then perhaps you should skedaddle. Which is totally fine with me! I am The Flooze. I like everyone. Some people call me a 'pleaser.' I like to refer to myself as 'defiantly likable.'

Crickets.

Still there? Oh good! I knew you would be!

First off, the Sunstone Symposium was terrific! Even though I, uh, yeah, only went to my one session. I would have gone to more, but I have a head injury. (Get used to that last phrase.) I didn't get to hear my favorite Mormon Girl speak or my friend Don telling everybody about his faith journey that ended up with his rebaptism into the Mormon church. Instead, I went into my friend's basement and slept and possibly drooled on the pillow loaner.

But I did attend my own session! Which I deserve serious credit for! (Have I told you about my low potassium levels yet?) My story was what they refer to as 'comic relief' to break up all of the more serious stuff. Some of the other ladies' stories were very heavy duty. I love those ladies.

Let me decline for you a word I frequently declined while studying Latin at BYU. Make sure that you use a hard 'g' and instead of using a hard 'v' noise, to use a 'w' noise like those folks did back then.

Vagina

Vaginae

Vaginae

Vaginam

Vagina

Wah-geeeee-naaaah! It means 'sheath' in Latin. And when our class translated anything by Caesar, boy, there was a lot of snickering.

Back to Sunstone and Mo Vadge. Yeah, I did a Mormon Vagina Testimony. No, it was not that groundbreaking or offensive. Unless you don't like MEDICAL TERMS or object lessons involving weirdly-crafted props. Hint: if you don't like weirdly-crafted props, we can never be friends. But 'sokay. I'll still like you.