Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Beery McBeerInMaFace

In the light of the utter success of letting the idiots on the internet name a $287m polar research vessel, Boaty McBoatface, faux-anarchic crafty brewery, Brewdog have decided that instead of suing the internet for stealing their ideas, they would let the trolls that follow them on said internet name not just the next beer but all their subsequent beers; one of the skinny jean, ironic Ramones t-shirt, Flip-flop & Trilby wearing precious little bastards came up with Beery McBeerInMaFace and managed to crash twitter again ruining the day for the rest of us.

Admiral James Watt, as you now have to call him, decided this at a super-secret shareholders meeting because it was easier than having to decide which way round his new admirals tricorn was supposed to go.
It was the only thing on the super-secret meetings agenda and The Admiral went back to strolling around the brewery with one arm in his plaid shirt, barking orders at the poor buggers that work for him.

The first Beery McBeerInMaFace will not be available in their native Scotland because despite having 8 bars and a brewery tap, no fucker drinks Brewdog beers up there. The Admiral is also hoping that having Mc in the name might inspire some Scottish pride about having such a cool brewery north of the border but wasn't reported to be holding his breath.

In another utterly craft move the brewery said it wasn't even going to brew a new beer for Beery McBeerInMaFace but it was instead, just going to rename the preposterously awful, International Arms Race as it still had loads of mouldy Keykegs just lying around the brewery. The interwebs applauded such blue sky and environmentally-conscious thinking and went back to picking the fluff out of it's belly button.

Brewdog's other Admiral had no further comment to add other than...

When asked by this reporter which way round he'd decided to put his Admirals Tricorn, Admiral Watt replied that it was more 'punk' to just wear it at a jaunty angle.

Authors note : You can buy your very own Admirals Tricorn from any good party store!