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I was happy in the illusion that he will stay but like every illusion it had to break one day. We were not meant to be because at the end of the day he was just an immature guy and I was a fragile girl. I could not trust and he was futile. We were two ends which never meet.
I cannot blame him and can’t regret having him. To me he was magic. He came in my life like the first rain; with every drop that fell on my fragile soul, I felt stronger. Whenever he held my hand, my damaged self-esteem healed itself. I was starting to feel good about my existence when the night changed. The most beautiful dream broke into tiny pieces and eventually fell apart. Before I knew I lost him to my insecurities. Everyone had something to say when he left but the only voice I wished to hear was his.
There was no good way to move on. Forgetting him, forgiving him seemed so impossible. I flirted with random people, tried to hide my damage, laughed as if will never cry for him again but then as the night overpowers the blissful sun, so did his memories. I laid there awake in my bed drenched in my pain, wanting him to come back and hug me; to say for once that he still loves me; that together we can fix this damage.
I don’t know why you left, however, many reasons you might have given me, it was never satisfying enough. And so I just want to you to know that I never lied when I said I love you; that I am sorry if I wasn’t strong enough; that I will never forget the pains you took for me; that I won’t regret having you.
Thank you for all the good times, my hero.