I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State.My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own,so both of them together is certain death.- George Carlin

I don't believe you have to have eating disorders andmental illness to screw up.- Kirstie Alley

Baseball was made for kids, and grown-ups only screw it up.- Bob Lemon

Miserable is a good thing, though.If you start the day miserable, nobody else can screw up your day.- Jake Roberts

Of course I've got lawyers.They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has.But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.- Danny DeVito

Also, I plan to screw something up on every movie Ido so that I can learn from my mistakes and becomea better director with each project.- Richard King

As they say around the Texas Legislature,if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women,take their money, and vote against 'em anyway,you don't belong in office.- Molly Ivins

People just expect you to show up, be a cartoon character of yourself,take your money and go home.But don't screw up to the point where you're gonna be out of the picture.- Jimmy Chamberlin

I admire people who just do the right thing,not looking to screw people up.I love all people.- Jessica Hahn

Guys just don't care.We don't take the time to plan behind each other's back.We just say, If you don't like me, screw you'.If a guy doesn't like you, you know because you have a black eye.- Jonathan Bennett

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,I never want to screw again as long as I live- Erica Jong

So what do we do? Anything.Something.So long as we just don't sit there.If we screw it up, start over.Try something else.If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties,it may be too late.- Lee Iacocca

Back then I said to myself 'screw football.'Actually I just took part in this camp as there wasnothing better for me to do.They also didn't draft me because they thought I wastoo wild and undisciplined.- Ed O'Neill

We don't have sources who are dissidents on other sources.Should they come forward, that would be a tricky situation for us.But we're presumably acting in such a way that peoplefeel morally compelled to continue our mission,not to screw it up.- Julian Assange

Now, therefore, the Directors of the company are herebyordered to see that precautions are taken to make travelon said railroad perfectly safe by using a screw withat least twenty-four inches diameter.- Joshua A. Norton

I have too much respect for the characters I play tomake them anything but as real as they can possibly be.I have a great deal of respect for all of them,otherwise I wouldn't do them.And I don't want to screw them by not portraying them honestly.- Kyra Sedgwick

A friend of mine once told me that I can't screw upwhen I play my own music.I also take voice lessons, play other peoples' songs out of music books,and occasionally figure out how to play other people's music from records.This keeps my ears, fingers, and mind working.- Lisa Loeb

We need to accept that we won't always make the right decisions,that we'll screw up royally sometimes -understanding that failure is not the opposite of success,it's part of success.- Arianna Huffington

If guys don't respect themselves, they don't respect other people.That's times and personalities.And all of them are not that way.But it don't take but one or two to screw up the whole crowd.- Richard Petty

You're torn between wanting to fill in all the spacesand knowing that's really going to screw up the screenplay.And yet, how are you going to communicate it to peoplewho really don't understand the process?- Robert Towne

I'd loved to wear jeans and t-shirts,but everybody was in the peace movement back then.And that was my ploy.I had to be careful not to say things like 'I like meat.'Actually I just wanted to drink beer and to screw.- Ed O'Neill

Every nut who kills people has a Bible lying around.If you're looking for violent rape imagery,the Bible's right there in your hotel room.If you just want to look up ways to screw people up,there it is, and you're justified because God told you to.- Penn Jillette

It's a mood record.Like one night you're going to be down in the dumpsdepressed because you're thinking about your ex-boyfriendand the next moment you're gonna be like screw himyou know? And the next one you're saying to yourself "God I'm in love."- Willa Ford

This life of ours, this is a wonderful life.If you can get through life like this and get away with it,hey that's great.But it's very predictable.There's so many ways you can screw it up.- Paul Castellano

No one's a virgin, life screws us all!- A. J. McLean

The German Emperor is ageing me; he is like a battleshipwith steam up and screws going,but with no rudder, and he will run into somethingsome day and cause a catastrophe.- Edward Grey

Just stop for a minute and you'll realize you're happy just being.I think it's the pursuit that screws up happiness.If we drop the pursuit, it's right here.- James Hillman

Anybody who doesn't know that politics is crime has got a few screws loose.- James Ellroy

I never got to make that transition from little girl to young woman...and that really screws you up.- Natalie Cole

If we get in an accident that's strong enough to break bones,it's going to break bones.What makes me a little bit higher risk is that if Ibreak my right ankle again,I've got a bunch of screws and plates in there,and that would not be good.- Al Unser

When money comes into play then that's all it's about wanting money,who's making the most who can get the most,me, me me...and in the end it screws up the person and the sport.- Alexis Arguello

I am regularly asked what the average Internet usercan do to ensure his security.My first answer is usually 'Nothing;you're screwed'.- Bruce Scheneier

The great equalizer is health.If you don't have it, you're screwed.- Jami Gertz

I was once a student in a punk T-Shirt hooked on screwed-up scenarios.That's how I became the esteemed cultural figure that I am today.- Bruce Sterling

The Oakland clubhouse is a wonderful place.A lot of these guys feel like rejects.They were rejects and they feel - they can tell you how baseball screwed up.- Michael Lewis

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed.Sometimes it's the things you don't do,and you get screwed.- Chuck Palahniuk

The moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you willbe screwed by the weather.- Hugh Grant

There's tons of people with talent; it's the system that's all screwed up.- John Kricfalusi

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is bythe kind of toilet paper they use.Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff.- Don Van Vliet

You hear about how many fourth quarter comebacks thata guy has and I think it means a guy screwed up inthe first three quarters.- Peyton Manning

I think it's unfair, but they have the right as fallible,screwed-up humans to be unfair; that's the human condition.- Albert Ellis

Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off'at the end of the last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up.- George Clooney

It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when Isobered up then when I was screwed up.- Corey Feldman

I think Jim got screwed.I think Jim Bakker would have been a great preacher.Jim Bakker was very good at what he did.- Jessica Hahn