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Tuesday, July 06, 2010

The Gift of Hindsight

Yesterday, the 8yo and 6yo officially started school holidays, and as I do at the end of every school term, I can't help but think back to my own school breaks, and wish I'd had the gift of hindsight back then.

Sometimes I wonder how I, and my friends and family, got through the holidays without too much incidence. (Sometimes, we don't.) If only I'd had the gift of hindsight back then, I wouldn't, for example, have the scar under my chin from the time I roller skated on a wet path, with twigs from nearby trees lying all over the ground. I wouldn't have attempted a half turn, and ended up flat down on the pavement, my chin coming to blows with one of the twigs as I hit the red paving.

I got to thinking about this the other day, and so with my own school holiday experiences in mind, I've come up with what I believe is a very usual list for your kids should they also be on holidays now, or will be in the future. Here we go...

5 Things You Should Definitely NOT Do

When You're On School Holidays

1. Don't roller skate on wet pavement. (Natch.)

2. If, when driving to your destination with your family, the car breaks down and you choose to amuse yourself whilst the car is being fixed by throwing rocks in to the nearby bush, don't try throwing a rock underarm, high above your head. Chances are, it will head backwards, in the direction of the broken down car, landing on the car bonnet, just inches from the driver's head. That person, I assure you, will not be happy.

3. If you're strolling along a beach, and you come across an old pearler's raft that has a cage which looks and performs not unlike an old competition barrel (as per the picture on the left), it is absolutely ok to play with it, and pretend you're a barrel girl/guy. However, I wouldn't advise you try and stand in it. It will, not surprisingly - once you lift your second leg in to it - tip over, taking you with it.

4. Don't dance wildly to 80s music in your friend's bedroom with your back to his/her bedroom door. Chances are, his/her Mum is standing in the doorway watching, and when you discover this, you will no doubt experience profuse embarrassment and be unable to look her in the eye from that day forward.

5. If your nephew (who is your age) decides he could, like, totally jump six people using a homemade ramp and his BMX bike, and he needs you to be one of those people - don't do it. That's just crazy talk. Or, if you do, at least make sure you're the person lying closest to the ramp. (Just sayin'.)

This has been a Mummy Mayhem Community Service Announcement.

You're welcome.

How about you? Any experiences you'd like to share of your school holidays as a kid?