Stewie: You're not getting it, Chris, are you? You were being bullied day in and day out, so I tried to help you. I tried to be a good brother, and you've repaid me with abuse. You're the bully, Chris Griffin!

Stewie: [To Chris] I may no longer be on your back, but I'll always be on your side.

Principal Shepherd: Life's not as easy as you think it's gonna be right now.

Peter: Well, I finally quit smoking and I'm ready to go back to normal!

Lois: Peter, that's not how it works. The damage you've done is irreversible.

Brian: Yeah, Lois is right. As bad as you look, the damage you've done to your heart and your lungs is, no doubt, exponentially worse.

Peter: What?! Well try cuttin' to the outside of the house over some music. That usually works.

[Cuts away to outside of house, then back inside with Peter still looking bad]