Kiddo got to decorate her own cake when she successfully did potty for two weeks straight, but she requested that reward and it was the beloved Wilton duck pan she'd much coveted for any reason she could think of since her 1st birthday party. No direct potty references necessary!

Gee. I guess I never before thought to be glad that my mother was extremely shy, modest, and totally freaked out about her daughters getting their periods. It was A BIG SECRET from the rest of the family.

Right On, Sister!! Your comment made me belly laugh. Alas, I fear we must get our own m-pause cakes. However this gave me the idea to have a Hot Flashes Party in the dead of winter here in MN. I could serve all summer party food--cold hors d'oeuvres and light girl-y cocktails; Caribbean music and everyone asked to dress for 90 degrees. Of course, lots of cake.

Menarche, it means the begining of menstruation. or your first period. really, though "happy menarche"? its like that stupid pad company "have a happy period!" sheesh! I'd sooner celebrate menopause, and what is up with all the men?I took my daughter out for chocolate shakes, and a "crying" movie. she would have killed me in my sleep if I had thrown her a party with a cake like this. Hmmm, I guess you can call these the Lizzie Borden special.

Looking back, I think my mother still owes me a number of cakes to make up for that particular occasion-- she told everybody at the dinner table that day. And it happened to be on Christmas Day, so there were lots of people to hear. Probably, some of them would have liked some cake for having to share in the news...

I feel slightly ill after seeing that cheesecake next to the other cake whose subject shall not be named.

For one thing, at least in my opinion, there ain't nothin' worth celebrating about that particular event. When it occurred for me I immediately began counting down to menopause, and I agree with Anonymous that menopause will be much more worthy of cake.

And, for another I was majorly embarressed when my mom dared to tell a friend of hers, I can't even imagine the horror of having it emblazoned on a cake and captured by film for posterity.

I'll dissent here. In many non-Western cultures menarche is seen as an important rite of passage, which makes a lot of sense socially and biologically. I think the extent of it being a taboo subject here has to do with puritanical beliefs about sex and disgust toward women's bodies. (Ever read "If men could menstruate" by Gloria Steinem? http://www.mum.org/ifmencou.htm) Assuming the girls involved were on board with it, I think it's awesome that their families or communities were celebrating them in such a positive way.

I remember reading The Diary of Anne Frank, and she was happy to get her first period. I was a young teenager at the time, and to be honest, it helped take the "ickiness" out of the whole experience for me. I could appreciate that other cultures saw it as a blessing of real womanhood...not that I'd want to celebrate with a party or anything. LOL

My SIL made my niece a "poopy" cake for when she mastered potty training. I was mortified! It had brown blobs of frosting all over it. I'd have sent you a picture if I could have stopped gagging long enough to take one. Sorry.

Well, remembering all the birth cakes you've posted, I think this could have gone much worse and more graphic than it was. So we can all be thankful for that.

I intend to help my girls celebrate their beginning of womanhood, but certainly not by displaying it on a cake. That's not to say that we won't be eating cake. It just doesn't have to have everything written out on it. Some things should not be printed in frosting.

I think I would have rather had cake then my mother walking into my school and saying (rather loudly) "AWW MY BABYS ALL GROWN UP I'M SO PROUD OF YOU" in the middle of the school day, in the middle of the office, while I'm sittng with a sweatshirt tied around my waist.... yea awesome.... Can i have some cake now???

Yeah. The second cake is bad. Really bad. But... look beyond the wreck that is the cake to the horror that is the cherry topped cheesecake behind it, to the left. OK. Its a Menarche party. That doesn't mean you have to graphically illustrate the point!

I never heard of Menarche before. I looked it up and there are sites to get a party set for it. Not kidding. One of them had the game "Pin the tail on the ovaries." I honestly wish I were kidding about this.

I understand celebrating menarche is normal in other cultures, but I'm German-American (several generations removed from Germany, but from a fairly isolated community), and we like to keep emotions bottled up and menarche a secret. I was MORTIFIED to the point of wanting to vomit when my mom told my grandma that I started. A cake on a buffet would surely have ended my life.

In case my loved ones are reading this....I'd like my menopause cake to be chocolate with chocolate icing with a nifty plastic battle axe on top! Thx! The inscription can read "Thanks for not killing us!"

Well its only because in our society FOR WOMEN sex and anything related to it is dirty that we don't celebrate a girl's transition to womanhood with her first period. It should be a joyous occasion, not one fraught with secrecy and shame.

'Lucy' might be a junior high school teacher. Her morning class received really high marks -- but not in spelling. Think I'll go with that explanation, peroid.

The last one redefines 'inappropriate'. Actually, they all do, but this one sets a new American Standard.

I wonder what kind of cake that kid will receive to celebrate the completion of therapy.

It's fun to speculate what direction the celebration of future parental milestones might take at the hands of these kids ("Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!"). But maybe these kids won't be into revenge. Yeah, right.

I gave each of my daughters a nice (IF. 1 ctw, good cut, strong color change) color change garnet when they made the "change" into womanhood. I wanted them to know they were rare and beautiful gems. When they hit menopause I'll give them color change sapphires so they know know they are not only beautiful but strong too.

Yaay to Sarah, who got the meaning behind the cakes. Maybe the poopy cake could should be flushed, but the others are celebrating something that many cultures regard as special. Without a period, folks, you just don't get those cute babies, and no opportunity for weird shower cakes. Celebrating life passages is definitely cultural, and we might benefit from thinking outside of the typical American box. Don't orthodox Jews celebrate puberty? Some Native American cultures used to (not sure if they still do) and cake might just be appropriate for a celebration. Okay, I'll step off my soap box now.

Orthodox Jews may celebrate puberty, but Orthodox men won't touch women they don't know because they may be menstruating and are therefor considered "unclean." Orthodox women need to go to a ritual bath after their periods so they are no longer "dirty."Not much to celebrate there, if you ask me.

Surely, there's nothing shameful about one's monthly cycle. But a party? with cake? and pin the "tampon on the correct anatomical part?Seems like a bit much.

My parents did something like that, they gave me a card and a figurine of a girl with my age on it to commemorate my first period. At the time I didn't think it was odd, but after I told my husband he was totally weirded out.

Eggs (hard boiled), fresh buns from the oven, red Kool-Aid, one of those lovely Menarche Cakes, and of course plenty of chocolate. And for a new twist on setting the table, instead of regular napkins...

Remember moms, good parenting isn't just about being all nice and comforting. It's also about making sure your daughter is motivated to move out on her own. This hoo ha should definitely sow the seeds of longing for sweet escape.

When I turned 50, I mentioned it in Sunday Service. During coffee hour, the new minister came up and crowed "Oh! We MUST have a Croning for you!"...

Personally, I am proud of my age and don't happen to think that 50 is the crest of a very steep hill and that all that lies before me is a vast thorny wasteland. I don't need to "celebrate" the fact that I have "become a crone"... YEESH!

So what if other cultures celebrate it? We live in THIS ONE, and it's an embarrassing topic. Cultural context IS important.

I think the point was that the cakes may have been created for/served for people from other cultures who celebrate this milestone/rite of passage.

I am from THIS culture (American) and was happy to have a small celebration with friends at the time (outing for junk food/movie/manicures - although no cake that I can recall LOL). I was the last of my friends to get it and remember my mom making me feel pretty special that day.

Ahhmmm... They have my Mom beat. She had to announce to [everyone] in the family "Guess who became a young lady today" My sisters and I thought we would die. When my sister's daughter started the first thing that came out of her mouth with a horrified look was "Don't tell G'Ma!!!" HA ha And she might have served cake if she had thought about it. lol

JMO some things should be more private if that is what the "Young lady" wants.

Couldn't we have a ritual passing of jewelry, anointing with oils in a nice hot bath, and a new wardrobe?

Would that not be massively better than writing the word "menarche" on a cake?.....So what if other cultures celebrate it? We live in THIS ONE, and it's an embarrassing topic. Cultural context IS important.

I say it's only embarrassing because women are taught to be embarrassed by their bodies. And I think it's great that some families out there don't do that. And why not write it on a cake? We celebrate all sorts of rites of passages with cake... why not this one? if it's because you're personally grossed out by it... think about why you feel that way.

My parents never got me a cake, but they did RUIN my trip to Disneyland by forcing my late-blooming, easily-humiliated pre-teen self to attend a "This is how babies are made" movie at Epcot with 100 strangers. I cried for 6 hours and didn't speak to them for a week. And remained too humiliated through my high school years to even kiss a boy. Abstinence education? Try extreme mortification education. It's far more effective.

oh my gosh... as if saying "happy period" wasn't bad enough... happy MENARCHE!?!? really? Who SAYS that anymore? and with a bloody drippy cheese cake? Man, I hope that girl turns 18 soon and can move out of the house.

Yah, I gotta say, I am now officially glad that my parents and I NEVER EVER talked about period and the fact that I got mine at 11 was a big secret. In fact, I'm nearly menopausal now and my mom STILL doesn't know I ever got it.Thank you mom & dad. And I mean that.

Reminds me of the "Dharma and Greg" episode where Dharma and her mother are reminiscing about the celebration they had for the occasion of Dharma's menarche. Greg and his family found the whole thing very cringe-making as (probably unfortunately) so do most of us.

wv: poite. It is not poite to celebrate the onset of menses with cake.

Cultural, schmultural! I was grossed out and horrified by my "transition". I was nine and shy and not ready to "be a woman", bleccchh. I understand that it's 'natural' and means you can procreate. Yeehaw. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want kids. I'm a cat lady ;) And, moms, what's with all the Public Joy and telling everyone? Read these posts and stop embarrassing your "women", please and thank you!

I agree with Elissa @12:48. I'm not ashamed or think it's wrong to celebrate if that's your thing - it's a natural occurrence. But to write '1st period', 'menarche' or 'potty' on the CAKE?!?! Yum.

I guess to the rest of us, it would be akin to 13th (becoming a teenager) or Sweet 16 birthdays.

To those wondering about cakes for the guys...there are plenty of weird sperm cakes and phallic castles, mushrooms, balloons, rockets, funny noses, and (coming soon) turkey cakes to hint to your young man that you know what's up. ;-D

My mother sang "happy womanhood to you" (to the tune of "happy birthday")... But, I guess that isn't as bad as having a cake to celebrate the "joyous" occasion. Although, honestly, cake would probably brighten the crappy situation.

Celebrating the first cycle isn't new, it just is not done very widely because most people are still so squeamish about reproductive functions.

I got "Congratulations you're a woman now" (no cake), but at least I was better off than my sister that had no idea what was happening to her. My mother was not big on talks.

Although I have to say I'd probably just take my daughter out to lunch and let her skip school that day. Just because I am all about being body positive does not mean I need to drag her father and brother's into a huge production over something that is likely to make her uncomfortable.

Okay, I wasn't going to say anything... everyone's been doing a great job at that, without my assistance. However, just as I was finishing the comments section, the radio played that old Conway Twitty song, "Put Your Hand in the Hand of the Man Who Made You a Woman," and I just lost it, for some reason!

Think of the cake that "womanhood" moment would spawn... *shudder*

Merry from Annie's Book Stop

WV: baricily - "Lovonna could baricily contain her feelings when she saw the cake Mom had purchased."

When I subscribed to this blog, I did it for just the posts, however I often catch the posts on Facebook too, and then read the comments. I think I may re-do my subscription to include the comments. They're almost as good as the original posts! Great job everyone!

Hey girls, do you all remember that awful movie (or was it a filmstrip?) we had to watch in fourth grade to prepare us for the exciting time about to come our way? When the girl in the movie got her first period, the mom couldn't contain her excitement and had to share the news with the dad. HE was so proud of his little girl that he exclaimed, "Let's go out for ice cream!" All the girls in my class gasped at the thought of our fathers knowing about it at all, let alone having them be excited for us and wanting to celebrate it. Maybe that dad could get together with the families that ordered these cakes so they can have ice cream at their party too.

That last picture reminds me of one almost exactly the same of my sister and me. I was the little sister on the toilet with my sister standing next to me (possibly sans pants) with her frankenstein looking hair (80's). My Mom was such a bugger with the camera!

Several commentators make a good point about cultural differences. Still, I'll definitely take a bat mitzvah (and the attendant anxiety over singing off key in an unfamiliar foreign language in front of several hundred people, among whom are family and classmates) over a drippy red cheesecake and public announcements over something that had me doubled over in pain to the point I was nauseous in the early years!! I'm soooo glad that my mother's welcome to womanhood speech was instructions in using tampons so nobody'll know while doing sports! (And I can't believe I'm writing this on a public website... about cake)

And @Kaede-- what a lovely idea! For a cross-cultural theme, there's a long tradition in Judaism about rubies (also a red gem) signifying a woman's worth (it comes from a lovely poem). For menopause, given the hot flashes, a fiery opal would be symbolic -- but your message of strength is more powerful.

And I also think the idea of a menopausal cake is brilliant. Given what my colleague's going through, definitely an ice cream cake... and I like that summer party idea midwinter (hey, now THERE'S the benefit of a cold Canadian winter!!)

"I say it's only embarrassing because women are taught to be embarrassed by their bodies. And I think it's great that some families out there don't do that. And why not write it on a cake? We celebrate all sorts of rites of passages with cake... why not this one? if it's because you're personally grossed out by it... think about why you feel that way."

Er...'cause I'm bleeding uncontrollably for a week? 'Cause it's smelly and messy? 'Cause it's a freaking hassle? Cultures that make a big deal out of menarche tend to do so because it means the girl in question is officially a baby factory who's open for business. (BTW, any cakes for reproductive and prenatal health ignorance, teenage pregnancy, lifelong menial labor, and overpopulation?) If that's what was going on here, and the girl was in on it, that's okay. If not, poor her. The cakes are funny either way.

To the various dissenters, I have to say this. It's one thing to celebrate womanhood and not shame girls about sex. It is something else entirely to have a cake celebrating a private bodily function. A period is a girl's moment, not a family one. And frankly the idea of a period being the signal of womanhood and therefore something special to celebrate has some unfortunate implications. It's celebrating her ability to become pregnant, which in older eras was special because it would be the time to marry her off so she would stop being a burden on the household.

On the other hand, if the girl asked for such a cake, that's different. But I know the last thing I wanted when I got my first period was a celebratory cake. Because periods objectively, cultural influence or not, suck. It's painful, I'm usually in a bad mood, and it's annoying to deal with. Any cake I had would've been a consolatory gift.

All these people fawning about celebrating a first period and not being ashamed -- I didn't see anyone here talk about being ASHAMED of that; rather, there are just some things that many people prefer to be private. Do those menarche-celebrating cultures also have everyone over for dinner to celebrate a boy's first nocturnal emissions? Just because things happen doesn't mean everyone wants to know. We pretty much assume that these things happen to everyone.

I never saw the filmstrips in school as I was out sick both years. my mother and I had a "talk" before mine started and she explained it as a natural, biological function which, like flatulence, one doesn't discuss in public as it's "not necessary." :D I LOVE my mother!!

BTW, in many parts of the South (SE part of the USA for those from elsewhere) even 70 years ago girls were married off after their first period. so, the "cultural" discussion is more a regional thing than international for my family. I would have been an 11 year old bride.

Haha my mother is JUST the type to buy a happy first period cake. More as a joke than anything else. I'm pretty sure she did try and throw me a party but luckily she thought better of writing it out all obvious-like on a cake.

Some of those defending these cakes are killing me...I get that a girl's first period is a milestone and not something to be ashamed of. Still, I don't want to eat a cake celebrating any bodily function. Just not something I want to be thinking about while I eat. My son skipped around yelling "I have penis hair" one day. Yea, him! Didn't go get a (icing) hair-covered cake to celebrate his entry to puberty. Just sayin'.

Got a great laugh from the suggestion of spontaneous erection eclairs.

Not that anyone will see this in the sea of comments but my mom baked a red velvet cake when I had my first period, cut it in the shape of a maxi pad and put strawberries on top. I think it was my most embarrassing moment of my life, and I'm 33 now.

I was 16 and almost 17 when she found out, so she probably did it out of relief.

And now for the REALLY "ick"factor: I wonder if the first period cakes were red velvet? (ba-dum bum!) I'm demanding a change cake when I have mine!!!! I'll be making it myself and cutting it with a chain saw.

This may be my favorite cake wrecks post ever. The cakes and the comments have been so, so entertaining. Thank you Sarah for the Gloria Steinem link; I had never read that before and loved it. (And what an interesting website!!)

Charles Ellis - No; what's sad is that so few others knew.

Brooke - "period on steroids" Love it! Finally I have a name for what I go through very month, especially the first few days!

When I had my first period at age 12, my mom called my dad, a child psychologist, at work to tell him about it. That was awful. But then my youngest sister wanted to celebrate it with cake since she liked to celebrate everything with cake (she still does). My mom baked it and let her, at age 5, assist with decorating. It was all white with a giant red blob of a period in the middle of it. Very tasteful.

I now have 2 sons and seeing how they should also have a first to be celebrated, I did read that some people do celebrate their son's first successful masturbation. I had a blast going out to coffee with my friends and wondering out loud how this would go. The family goes out to dinner and we tell the server the reason for our celebration? Have a cake made- and how would that be decorated? Endless possibilities!

This is a cake site not some Political Debate. To the people going on and on about over-population and teen aged brides, give it a rest! These cakes are clearly not made in *those* countries! They are just some over enthusiastic parent's attempt at acknowledging that their daughters are GROWING UP! I do not see, "Now give me grandchildren!" Any where on any of them! Lighten up.

wow, I had to look up menarche, and boy i am glad I didn't have that party! I was MORTIFIED that I had to tell my mom I even started, if she would have thrown me a party, i would have run away from home.

Oh man that cherry cheese cake reminds me of "Ginger Snaps". There is this awesome scene where her mom finds out Ginger has had her first period and gives her something akin to the monstrosity seen here.

Oh my god, My cousin told me that whenever any of the girls in her mother's side of the family got their first period, they got huge parties. The whole extended family would be invited for a barbecue. I told her I would be completely mortified.

VW - MENDISH - what is done when a wrecked cake gets somewhat fixed. Well, it isn't mended... its mendished.

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