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Office Romance

I can talk to any other employee at anytime while they are on the clock but because I am romantically involved with a co-worker I am not allowed to talk to her directly or be anywhere close to her.

If I have to talk or ask her a question I have to have a third party do it for me.

Fair?

So that everyone knows, I've just been threatened by the district manager about losing my job and having a restraining order put against me so I can't step on property ever if I am anywhere near her again.

Depends on what your contracts say and just how paranoid the company's owner(s)/lawyer(s) are.

Assuming you don't do anything [ahem] unprofessional when you meet each other and there's no bizarre provisions/clauses/sections-of-legalese in company policy or other terms to which you've agreed (in order to work there) that explicitly prohibit it, I'd see no problem with you speaking directly to her.
I could see a case for them prohibiting personal conversations, i.e. not pertaining to work, but to assume you'd only discuss personal matters would be a bit over the top.

Because I walked up to where she was working to ask her how much longer she would be and then the under aged 17 year old worker (which we are not supposed to have, I remember that being company policy) just wanted to start crap so after she got smart with me, she ran and told the boss that I was up there with my wife and that I called her names. The glory of minimum wage jobs and the glory of being "made an example".

Well, then, you've two options: If your boss is reasonable, try to talk to them about it. Arrange a short meeting, too, don't just walk up to 'em and complain. You'll need to be pretty level headed and they might not agree. You might be permitted to talk to each other, but with more conditions and terms attached.
If your boss is a martinet, though, realistically you've got nothing to do but endure it.

No, I don't think it's fair that you cannot communicate with her.
Since you're co-workers, you work together, and I think it's pretty damn stupid that they would block you off from her.
It's kind of silly to have someone else pass on a message to her like kids pass notes in class.
If you had a history of doing things that don't have to do with your job, then I would understand.
Otherwise, they need to respect you being an adult doing your job and give you more permission.

Um this whole situation sounds ridiculous, and did you say she was your WIFE? What kind of people do you work for? because they sound irrational. It seems like you would have had to actually do something inappropriate to enact such a response. If you haven't then it's completely senseless.

Well, then, you've two options: If your boss is reasonable, try to talk to them about it. Arrange a short meeting, too, don't just walk up to 'em and complain. You'll need to be pretty level headed and they might not agree. You might be permitted to talk to each other, but with more conditions and terms attached.
If your boss is a martinet, though, realistically you've got nothing to do but endure it.

I second this.

I also think it's pretty stupid that you cannot ask the one you're romantically involved with a simple question, and you have to have a 3rd party to ask it for you.

Sounds pretty ludicrous to me. Though you might wanna stick to his new policy if you're not confident to do what TheAsterisk! have suggested. Next thing you want, it's your boss breathing down your neck. Endurance and preservance.

"To do is to be" - Descartes, "To be is to do" - Voltaire, "Do be do be do" - Sinatra.

The Assistant Manager and one of the maintenance guys I used to work with, until they cut me back to only being on the desk, are married. On his lunch break he goes into the office eats and chats with her for an hour some times even an hour and a half.

Most companies I know of frown upon it when it's in the same building as it has the potential to "Distract" you from your job.
However most companies don't care if you're both part of the same company, just in diffrent buildings and neither of you are in a position of power about the other that can affect eachother from two diffrent buildings.
(Like Husband being a DM, giving his Wife a promotion in his district, just because she's his wife)

I say you just figure out who makes less there between the two of you, and whoever is making less, find a new job.

I can talk to any other employee at anytime while they are on the clock but because I am romantically involved with a co-worker I am not allowed to talk to her directly or be anywhere close to her.

If I have to talk or ask her a question I have to have a third party do it for me.

Fair?

So that everyone knows, I've just been threatened by the district manager about losing my job and having a restraining order put against me so I can't step on property ever if I am anywhere near her again.

restraining order?what u dating the boss' daughter?um, i voted maybe, cuz maybe if you two kept your mouths shut about sleeping with eachother noone would know, and you's must of been doing something at work involving PDA if anyone there actually cares.

Oops, voted before I read the post. I think its unfair. As long as you aren't doing anything inappropriate then I don't see the problem with it. Your boss is either a complete tool, in which case you'll have to deal with it but he won't be able to fire you despite his threats, or he hasn't gotten the full story in which just explain to him as calmly as possible. If the assistant manager can do it then so can you.
Also I agree with Forgotten Show, there has to be more to this than whats posted.

Hrm... Your boss is being a tool, as miniPhil previously stated. But I can, however, understand slightly where he's coming from. Both places where I work have a different set of rules. One being a corporate chain restaurant, if you are in a position of power at one store, any type of family member is not permitted to work in the same store. As it is possible that the one with the power could give the spouse/child/sibling/parent/etc unfair treatment. It's a conflict of interest.

The non-corporate restaurant doesn't have such rules. One of the assistant managers is currently dating one of the line cooks.

Where you work, is it a large company? If not, then it doesn't make any sense that your boss has a different set of rules for you two than the manager and maintenance worker. Is there more to the story than you're letting on?

either stick it out in the minimum wage job until you finish school or whatever and get a real job buy the company and fire that A%@hole, or tell him exactly where it says in:
1) the states' labour law that what you are doing is illegal
2) In whatever contract you signed where that is frowned upon
3) why there is a different policy for you, when there are other people in the same situation
and finally
4) if he cannot answer those points look him straight in the eye and say
1) i'm going to blow the whistle with the labour board about your underage employee
2) If anything happens to us I will sue not only you personally but the company also for harrasment, and breach of workers rights. I bet you you'd have 20 lawyers waiting to jump on that case.

That has nothing to do with it. They happen to work at the same place. Have you read through the topic?

I don't need to read through your pulp of whining and jabbering, "the Assistant Manager and maintenance guy" could've been married before they got hired, and nonetheless, they're in different departments. It's because of basement dwellers like you, who couldn't hook up elsewhere, that there are so many sexual harassment reports, and photocopies of your arses that companies get shut down.

Unless the romantically involved co-worker is of a higher position than yourself, it is in fact unfair. If she was of a higher stature in the business, others could perceive any of your success as favoritism. However, if she and yourself are on the same level of work, then you two should be able to speak, just nothing provocative fore the sake of the workers.

As for the manager's threats, if you have not done anything to imply such necessities, then there is a problem with what is happening. If you have, in fact, done anything deemed inappropriate in the workplace, then I suppose the manager has the right to follow through with the said threats.