9 Answers

How old is your mom, I see she has lung disease. As dementia begins one of the early symptoms is withdrawal from people and interests they once had. Looks like depression. Have you had her screened for dementia? I would get that done by her doctor. There could be something medically wrong that causes it that may be fixable.

That said, I would rather do anything than sit with a roomful of dysfunctional family members and chat! About absolutely nothing of much importance!

My Mom does too.. She has dementia and she can't follow conversations especially in a crowd. She says she can't hear what we're saying, or we talk to fast, but it's really that she can't comprehend what's being said..She needs to look right at you to understand. The phone is difficult for that reason, she can't see you so she can't follow the conversation. It's much more relaxing for her to watch the same TV shows over and over..

Mom has a few long time friends, but she has stopped calling them. She was never very outgoing but seems to be less so. She is also hard of hearing ("and does not want a hearing aid") so maybe she just can't follow a discussion as well as before? TV all day and talk radio all night, seems to be all she wants.

I'm not a TV person, but I prefer animals over people. I would rather have a decent conversation with a raccoon, than try to figure out what angle my relatives are coming from. Even a skunk is upfront about his intentions. A possum never complains if you spill crumbs, and a hawk will not criticize your hairdo.

My 92 year old mom likes being alone more than being with people, including her own children. She has never minded us staying at her house whenever we wanted and needed to. When she does go out, she is content with a certain amount of time being out and then is ready to go home. She just likes being in her home. If I pick her up to go out for a visit, she asks how long will we be there or reminds me a short time is okay and then I want a ride home. The time she was in a rehab facility after an illness, she stayed in her room ninety percent of the time opposed to sitting with the other patents and chatting at breakfast, lunch and dinner. All my life, she has said people need to stay at home more and they would not get into trouble (which always frustrated me and made me laugh). I think it has to do with how she has always reminded us not to be a burden or rely on others and to be able to take care of ourselves.

I'm not trying to be glib...but I feel the same way. I'm only 40 and I would rather watch tv, read a book, sew, than see people (family or strangers). Some people just don't like company. Has she always been like this or is this a recent change? If this is a recent change in her behavior she may be developing depression which can be common as we age. She could then get treatment for depression and over time she may be back to her friendly outgoing self. However, if she has always been a loner (like me) then this could just be how she is.Either way, I wish you good luck and hope no one has any hard feelings that she doesn't want visitors.--Angel

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