would like to hear from 3rd/4th degree mamas

how are you doing now? I had a 4th degree and I'm 3 mths pp. I had granulation tissue cauterized 3 times and a band of scar tissue cut out where I was sewn too tight. sex still hurts, I still leak urine and it's difficult holding bowel movements. I am doing kegels but my doc has mentioned going to PT for this. It does get better right? Anyone else want to share?

Comments (4)

Oh Honey, I was thinking of posting something about this, this week-I had a 4th degree tear in December of last year and still sex hurts, I feel like I pass gas through my vag (Sorry TMI) and it's tight-like I do yoga and I feel the skin stretching, I also have trouble holding BMs. I do kegals and maybe it's getting better but I think this is going to be as good as it gets for me-which is sad!

If you are having another baby, have you thought of the birth plan yet? My doctor advises a C-Section to avoid making everything worse-but I was so planning on having a "healing birth" the next go around...but then I remember the pain of the tear and maybe C-Section isn't so bad...

Friends and family are tired of hearing me complain about it-my husband doesn't get why I have to "prepare" for sex-mentally and physically and I still feel jealously over friends who have beautiful easy births...

I have no words of advice, I literally take things one day at a time and try to notice improvements in appearance (I think my new vag is gross and haven't let my husband look at it yet) and in physical feelings...has your doctor giving you estrogen cream? I think that helped me a bit on the scar tissue...

I did Physical Therapy for 3 months with a 4th degree tear, and it helped tremendously. We did a ton of pilates type exercises, some internal work including massaging my scar tissue (there are 3 degrees of depth in there, the first is right at your opening, the second is back one and the third is where I was always sore and it is way up in there. The 3 degrees are 3 different layers of undercarriage muscle that was cut/torn)

Sex still hurts and a lot of the time I believe it is mind over matter. About 3 months ago, we had sex and somehow miraculously it didn't hurt. But for the most part, it takes a minute to get going, and even then, it never feels great, it just doesn't hurt as much...

I never needed lube or anything before my delivery, and I never had a problem with sex, I loved it and thought of myself as a sexual person. I have lost that part of my identity and I just hope someday it will come back.

Although, I am still in new mommy mode, I am still nursing, and I know that definitely contributes to the pain problem because of my estrogen levels. I still haven't had a period.

My PT menitoned vaginal dilators as an option, and I might try those but I think things are still healing and I am not super worried about it.

As for the "bubbles", I still get those, but not nearly as much as I used to, I don't have as difficult of a time with pooping etc. but I do have times where there is no way I can hold the gas in if it has to come out. That SUCKS.

Karina, I am surprised you were able to try Yoga! I am so afraid of farting uncontrollably!! LOL!

Anyway, I am 9 months post-partum and still healing and still convalescing.

My one bit of advice for you right now is to trust your body, know that you will heal and that nothing is permanent. I have come to grips with my body maybe never being what it used to be, but I look at all the people since civilization that have had more than one child and I think to myself "Well, those people are having sex!" and it gives me hope.

I think part of it is just relaxing into this part of your life, and know that things will change and you will have more time later, after the baby is a little older and more independant.

Thank you for sharing ladies! I think the PT will help me with the scar tissue. My doc did give me an rx for lidocaine jelly and estrogen cream ( I am nursing) it helps soooo much. We dtd 2 days ago and it felt like 'old times' just a little tighter.

First I'd like to say it is very theraputic to read about others with 3rd/4th degree tears.
I delievered in 2004 so it has been a bit of journey for me just to find help let alone other women willing to talk about it. After prolonged pushing and an epsiotomty then tearing all the way back I began having leakage. At first only occasionally then more and more often. When I discussed it with my ob she insisted it would get better. Well, after another baby (barely tore 2nd time) and 5yrs of occasional fecal incontinence I finally spoke up to my new ob and was referred to a surgeon who informed me both sphincters were torn.
I did have repair in 2009 and have since gone to bio-feedback but still suffer occasional episodes.
What drives me crazy is the blasé attitude I have encountered by doctors and how limited the resources are. It took me yrs to get help and a lot of my own research. I started pilates on my own, not one Dr. mentioned it and I live near a major city.
Keep pushing for answers ladies! If you think something is wrong find someone who will listen.