Crusades have consequences. Some of those are financial, and so the trio turns to an emergency stable sale to gain funds for their future mark-finding attempts. But another price comes out of reputation, and the bill has just come due.

When The House of Enchanted Comics starts selling board games too, Spike picks up a bundle of them for Twilight and the girls to play. All the board games have really funny names: Stellaris, Command & Conquer, Dishonored, EvE...

Have you ever woken up as a vegan cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix it

For some reason, Twilight never got around to emptying her old Canterlot residence, and the Archives are fed up. She has until sunset to pack and leave. And for the first time in her life, she doesn't seem to be paying attention to the deadline.

Anything is a crime for those willing to see through distorted lenses -- including actions which lead to generosity. An accusation has been made against Rarity by Barneigh's Exclusive Garments And Saddlebags. And no defense will be listened to

Honestly, I thought Pinkie's idea seemed like a good compromise. Twilight gets to practice, Rarity can design something to hide any potential issues (especially after Fluttershy's had her turn,) Dash gets a prank (albeit one where they can't do the reveal,) and...

Well, I guess they could bury her afterwards?

... There may be something deeply wrong with me. In any case, this was quite enjoyably bizarre. (Though I keep getting caught off-guard by the kick-throw linguistic bit. It does make sense—quadrupeds aren't exactly going to be tossing things by any means other than kicks or clumsy neckwork—but it still took me a moment to process "kick my voice.") Thank you for it, even if the stinger is more than a little off-putting.

7883822Going by what little we got, the departed sounds suspiciously like an instance of Starlight Glimmer who adjusted her philosophy to better work with local magical laws regarding cutie marks and the inviolability thereof. Though that may be overactive pattern recognition on my part.

7883860 To be perfectly and one hundred percent honest, I was hoping it was her. There were certainly moments that seemed to imply it, but maybe it was just regular non-descript oc that did something horrific, like writing fanfics and kicking baby seals. Mostly the former.

I want to think... that somepony loved her once. That maybe before she went so bad, there was a little good in her, something which deserved to be loved. And everything you've all been saying about what we should do with her body is kind of -- undignified.

Excellent Pinkie. I knew we could count on you...

"I want Twilight to make her body move, and make it look like she's still alive! Now, that means the mouth too. I know we need to give her a voice, but don't worry: I can kick mine and it'll sound just like it's coming out of her! I've been practicing that.

--This was pretty damn funny. Fluttershy's bit was great, but Pinkie's topped it for sheer audacity. Twilight's insistence on studying necromancy is something I could absolutely see if she had slightly less morals and more intensely focused obsessive tendencies than in canon.

And the ponies learned about the delights of murder, which would come in handy when they decided to take over Earth. They'd show Sunset Shimmer who was boss! And then murder her. They really started to like that part. Heck, rather than feeding the bodies to Flutter's critters, maybe THEY could eat the bodies! They could always ask that one Pie Family barber for his meat pie recipe...

Technically speaking, Twilight and Pinkie's plans aren't that incompatible. Or even Rarity and Dash's, too. Just gotta get the necromancy right and there you go, free number two assistant for the entire group.

Heh heh. I get the strange impression that the author doesn't like Starlight Glimmer much. Must be my imagination.

Now, Twilight. You don't get corpses by murder: you send out your hunchbackedDragon assistant to dig up fresh ones by night. An amusing romp, but while I have no trouble with the concept of Zap Apple trees hungering for decomposing Pony flesh or Rainbow Dash desiring a corpse for pranks, Rarity being cool with her dresses being in extended close contact with dead flesh? Really?

It was a rather fresh checklist, composed from the torn-out pages of a hundred mystery novels, and she had already planned out a full apology to every last one for the unfortunate necessity which had brought her to such a drastic move. But only to the injured books, which would be lovingly restored with spells and cover massages and a little private reading time in her bedroom.

This version of Twilight appears to be afflicted with objectophilia. I don't know if I should be amused or disturbed.

That was fun, although it's not surprising that I liked it since I am a big fan of dark comedy in general. My biggest complaint is really that it was too neat for my tastes, but that has more to do with my own preference for the splatstick side of dark comedy than anything else.

I too wondered if it was Starlight (I mean, I like the fact she's "redeemded" in that she's not at all redeemed and still clearly Evil, but I was also cheerfully calling for her head before season six).

But I would like to imagine it was Murdochs, since that possibly-pony is way more deserving of it...

7884230 Okay first off the only individual I can think of that says destiny a lot is twilight...but we know it's not her...had a smile still palster across her face...only shows up once or twice...Celestia?!!