Are you patriotic? Are you proud of your nation? Do you think your country is the best, east or west?

If yes, then I have a question for you.

Does it physically hurt you when you start counting in double digits? Do you never question that your country’s flag is called ‘the tricolour’ despite it distinctly having four colours in it? Did you thoroughly enjoy that last Akshay Kumar movie?

I know those are several questions but the answer to all of them is roughly the same.

…

“If you hate your country so much why don’t you leave and go to America?”

“Fuck you, if I could I would.”

“See, you DO hate your country!”

“I don’t hate my country. I love myself. I love myself WAY MORE. And I owe it to myself to not have to witness a slum dweller excreting his daily wage on the railway tracks right before Kurla Station. KURLA STATION! As if THAT icing desperately needed a cherry!!! And a country is a concept. It’s geography. It’s not a living, breathing hive-mind that feels anything. Being proud of a country is like being proud of sunlight. You had NOTHING to do with it! You’re granted citizenship just by being BORN in it! That’s how LOW a country’s standards are. Every country in the world exists ONLY to divide the world into economic clusters. And you’re PROUD of one? PROUD? And it’s not even it’s like the best. What are you? A parent of retarded child? ‘Oh he failed. But he failed ONLY by 10 marks this time. He’s getting better at failing. We’re SO PROUD of him.’ We are a shit country. But here’s the thing – The moment we ADMIT to being a shit country is also the moment we stop BEING a shit country.”