CBeebies' Justin Offers Dystopian View of the Future

If you are a parent to a small child then you will have definitely watched a whole bunch of CBeebies in your time. It then follows that you will be well aware of Justin Fletcher, who seems to front every other programme on the network.

He’s as far as you can get from the typically youthful and slick kids’ TV presenters who arrive on some kind of production line, before swiftly disappearing into the reject box situated behind the studios at MediaCity, primary-coloured chinos and all. However, kids are transfixed by all the gurning and pratfalls, they LOVE him and so do parents – Gordon Brown was petitioned by the mums and dads of loyal viewers to award him with an OBE in 2007, with Fletcher actually receiving an MBE the year later in recognition of his television and volunteer work.

So the man well-known for Mr Tumble, Justin’s House and Gigglebiz is popular with his audience, promotes inclusion and understanding of disabilities and seems and all-round good egg. But there is no excuse for this…

Just Party – an album of cheerful songs performed by the man himself is released on Monday 2nd March and set to become the soundtrack to every kid’s party that you attend this year. It’s horrifying, truly bizarre and essentially a 21st century version of the Black Lace Party Party Album – something which absolutely no one asked for.

Over the course of nineteen tracks, Justin butchers the Ghostbusters theme, puts his own spin on the Macarena and does something to David Bowie’s Starman that is borderline illegal. Add to that his dancey version of Let it Go from Frozen and you may be just starting to realise the magnitude of this abomination.

For the brave amongst you, click on the link for an opportunity to hear clips from the songs on the Justin album. DISCLAIMER: Bewildered Dad takes no responsibility for any ear damage sustain from following the previous link.

And for those of you who think this is amusing…THIS IS YOUR FUTURE – BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID!