U.S. men's hockey general manager Brian Burke remembers late son Brendan as Olympic play set to begin

Elsa/Getty ImagesBrian BurkeVANCOUVER, British Columbia — He stared at friends and strangers, retracing an unthinkable loss that left his heart broken. He quickly brushed away a tear.

On Feb. 5, Brian Burke lost his son, Brendan, somewhere on a snowy Indiana road. The 21-year-old was killed when his car slid into the path of another car.

Two days before the team Brian Burke built takes the world stage, the general manager of the U.S. Olympic men’s hockey team shared memories of his boy.

“I cry less every day,” the father said Sunday in his first public comments since the accident. “It’s been tough. I just think about him. He would have wanted me to do this.”

Burke buried Brendan six days ago in Canton, Mass.

“He was a courageous kid,” Burke said. “He was a very gregarious kid. He was a compassionate kid. He was very bright and cared a lot about people. The saddest part about it was that his future was so bright. The sky was the limit.”

Brendan Burke was a student manager for Miami of Ohio’s top-ranked hockey team. He made headlines last year when he told his famous father he was gay. Brian Burke embraced his son’s courage then and now.

“I’m very proud of the role he played,” Burke said of his son coming out. “I pledged to him that the message doesn’t get lost.”

Before Team USA faces Switzerland in its Olympic opener Tuesday, the man in charge of assembling the young team shared a part of himself.

He talked about Brendan’s life goals. The kid wanted to be a lawyer. He was driving back from a law school interview the night he died. Michigan State was his first choice.

He talked about Brendan’s on-again, off-again desire to be a general manager like his Old Man. The father warned that his line of work required a hard shell. GMs made tough choices that sometimes hurt people’s feelings. He wasn’t sure his boy could handle it. Brendan was too nice.

“You got to have a little callous on your heart to do this job,” said Burke, the Toronto Maple Leafs’ GM. “To his credit, I’m not sure Brendan did. I’m not sure what he would have done. But he would have been successful.”

Burke retraced his son’s life from the moment he entered the world on Dec. 8, 1988, in Vancouver. He was 8 pounds, 8 ounces. The nurses told his parents that eight was a lucky number in the Chinese culture.

On the day he was born, Brian Burke noticed the nurses rubbing the newborn’s head.

“What’s the deal?” the dad asked.

When the nurses insisted Brendan was a lucky baby, Brian Burke offered a different way to celebrate:

“Well, rub his foot. He’s going to be bald!”

He admired Brendan even in death when a former teacher shared a story he’d never heard before.

When nobody would dance with one girl at the eighth-grade dance, Brendan walked over to her and took her for a whirl.

“He didn’t mind that the other boys would tease him about it,” Burke said. “He didn’t care what anyone thought. He just didn’t want her to have a bad night.”

The general manager insisted he never wavered about attending the Games.

“I was asked to do a job here and I’m going to do it,” he said.

Players wondered whether Burke would make the trip at all.

“I didn’t know how he was coping,” Devils winger Zach Parise said. “You can’t imagine going through what he’d been through. At the same time, you know how dedicated he is to this team.”

Burke altered his original plan by skipping the Opening Ceremonies Friday night.

“My heart wasn’t in it,” he said. “I would have been an imposter.”

The hurt remains. Talking about Brendan to friends makes it easier. His daughters, Katie and Molly, will be in Vancouver this week for support.