A basic rule of salesmanship is you
market to the people who have the money. But, a raw truth is: When it comes
to personal safety most people don't think about it until they have a
need. This pressing need is usually combined with the lack of thousands of dollars to hire a
bodyguard or a high-tech security service.

This site's for people
with such a problem.

We will provide you free,
easy-to-use information to keep you safe from crime and violence.
Our goal is to give you useful information you can use right now
to ensure your personal safety and protect your
property. This site isn't about marketing or making
money off you, it's about giving you the information you
need to keep safe.

Why No Nonsense?
There's a reason this site is called 'No Nonsense
Self-Defense.' Although it says
'self-defense' in the title, we're not here to sell you
our ultimate fighting system. We don't expect you to 'kung fu' your way out of a dangerous
situation. (Besides, by the time it's gotten to that
point, odds are it's too late.) Nor are we going
to try to sell you some kind of deadly force gadget will
solve all your personal safety concerns.

This site is to inform you about what's involved in
your personal safety. We aren't just about self-defense.
We also go into conflict resolution,
negotiation in potentially
violent situations and life skills. We do this because
these are the elements that usually lead to violence.
Elements that if you don't consciously control them,
will put you into serious danger.

A huge focus of this site is what you can do to avoid putting yourself into
potentially dangerous situations in the first place. The
same information not only steers you clear of violent
situations, but safely guides you out if you do
find yourself in one.

You should also know,
we address many different levels of these subjects. How
deep you delve into a topic is up to you.

To help you navigate, we recommend you visit the
Using This Site page
before you start. If you know what you're looking
for, general topics are listed at the top of every page (under the NNSD
banner). Clicking on the links will take you that topic's hub.

If you're not
exactly sure, what you are looking for, we have a Vague Questions
page. We recommend you take a quick trip to the
misconceptions about
self-defense to help you get the most of from perusing this site.
Staying safe is a much less daunting a subject if --
from the beginning -- you know what you are looking.

But do get a cup of coffee (or glass of iced tea), you'll be here for a while.

The Cure Is NOT Worse Than The
Problem When it comes to personal
safety, many people fear the solution may be worse than
the problem.
And quite frankly with the large number of 'paranoia
pimps' trying to sell you their 'ultimate self-defense
system' it can look that way.

Do you need to become a
martial arts master to defend yourself? Do you need to
become a paranoid survivalist in order to be safe? Do
you need to buy a stock pile of guns?

No.

Are you going to have to use a little common sense? Yes.
And that isn't that hard. But in order to have common
sense in the first place, you must understand what's
actually involved in the problem. Once you have solid
information, then making the right decisions for a
situation is easy.

We take what we call the 'low impact approach' to
personal safety. The object of this exercise is to
improve the quality of you life, not degrade it. With
this in mind, we suggest you read What Do I Have To Do To Be Safe? to get an idea of what you don't have to do
to achieve personal safety.

Why Is Crime Simpler Than Interpersonal Violence?
We mentioned earlier there are a lot of
Hollywood-fueled misconceptions about crime and violence
out there. What Hollywood doesn't show -- and you may
not consciously know -- is:
Most violence occurs between people who
know each other.

When you think about
it, this makes sense. Those around you are the ones
you're most likely to come in conflict with. When was
the last time you had an argument with a total stranger
vs. when did you last have an argument with someone you
knew?
This is what makes dealing with
interpersonal violence
more complicated than just avoiding a crime.

Interpersonal violence IS
personal.

Quite frankly, an outright crime is much easier to
avoid. In fact, if
you know what to look for,
crime is really easy to prevent. He's not coming after
you personally. Since robbing you is
just as easy as robbing someone else, the criminal
doesn't care who he selects. The easier the target the
better.

It is with
interpersonal violence that things become complex. That's because
criminal violence
has a recognizable and external goal. Interpersonal
violence is filled with all kinds of internal and
subjective standards, goals and emotions. Usually what
you are protecting, trying to achieve or fighting over in such
conflicts, ISN'T physical.

And yet, conflicts can -- and
often do -- escalate into physical violence.

Such violence IS
usually 'personal.'
Not only from the standpoint of it IS directed at a
particular person, but that it is often a form of
punishment. That person is seeking physical revenge for
the emotional hurt you caused him or her.

With this in mind, realize: What you
say and do has a HUGE effect on whether or
not you are physically assaulted. You do have power and
control over whether or not you are attacked. Teaching
you how to exercise this power is what this site is
mostly about.

Where things get really
complicated is that there is NO ONE simplistic
strategy that you can use in every situation. What works
to resolve a conflict with one person will provoke
another into attacking. You may think what
you're doing will scare him away, but often you're
actually pouring gasoline onto the fire. Knowing when to
do what and when NOT to do that are another reason why
things get complicated. Personal safety is less
about punching and kicking and more about people
skills.

What you say and do has
a major influence on finding yourself involved in
violence. This fact does not magically disappear because
you are upset, angry or
arguing. When you are
emotionally caught up in a conflict, it is easy to not
only provoke an attack from someone else, but it is
appalling easy for youinitiate the physical violence.

As unbelievable as it
may sound, you can do this without even realizing
you did it until the person counter attacks. Even
easier is to say something so hurtful and insulting that
the person flies into a rage and attacks. Over 2,000
years ago Horace wrote "Anger is a short madness
(insanity)." You can be so angry, emotional or
upset that you don't realize what you are doing. But
that doesn't mean you aren't doing it.

Realize
this is a two-way street, the same thing can be
happening with the person you are in conflict with. But
in fact, violent people
are violent because they lack the self-control NOT to
act on these impulses. This lack can be circumstantial,
physiological, psychological or simply because the
person chooses to behave this way. While anyone can be
pushed too far, some people believe violence is a fast
and easy way to get what they want.

Because so much violence arises from conflict, it seriously complicates the
subject of self-defense.
If you participated in the creation, escalation and
mutual physicality of the situation, that isn't
self-defense.

But when
you are emotional,
angry or
scared, everything you do seems like
self-defense.
That big bad person was attacking you! While that is your perception, that isn't necessarily
what was happening. Nor is is necessarily what you were doing.
Your brain under extreme
emotion and stress sees things differently than when
you are calm. And those perceptions can lead you
to chasing someone down the street slashing them with a
knife thinking what you are doing is self-defense.
It isn't.

It is their
inability to tell the difference -- not unjust laws
-- that gets most people into trouble. And in more ways
than one. It's also what causes a situation to go from
verbal violence to physical
violence. This is also why we give a layman's
explanation of what self-defense is and when what you're
doing stops being
self-defense.

Believe it or not,
personal safety is less about what you do than it is
about what you don't do -- especially in certain
situations.

The 'why you don't do that' is what
makes both the subject of
violence -- and this site -- so big and complex. Once you understand 'why certain
behaviors will lead to violence' you greatly lessen your
chances of unwittingly doing them. Not only will this
keep you from being arrested for fighting or assault,
but it greatly reduces your chances of being raped,
assaulted, beaten or even killed.

There are no
simple answers when it comes to interpersonal violence. That is because YOU are a major factor in whether it
happens or not. Your choices, your behaviors and what
you say, have major influence on whether or not
physical violence occurs.

So you DO have
control over whether violence happens to you -- or not.

But it starts with you controlling your emotions,
instead of your emotions controlling you. The
reason this is important is that the person who resorts
to physical violence the fastest is almost always being
driven there by HIS out of control emotions. If you
aren't willing to go faster and further down that road
than he is, then you will lose that race.

Oh, by the way. This
information will also go miles for improving the quality
of your life, lessening conflict in your life and help
you get along with other people. This site isn't just
about self-defense, it's
also about developing every day people skills to make
your life easier.