What at first glance looks like a dolphin fetishist's DoCoMo cellphone is in fact a covert lighter, perfect for keeping your dirty habit under wraps (except you know, the packs of fags lying around, the smell, etc.).

If you drop the three bucks and change on one of these (available in a rainbow of five colors), be sure to pick up a smoking jacket as well to keep the cancer away from the rest of us. I'll take mine from a Wi-Fi router, thank you very much. – Matt Buchanan