Teenage girls have had a bad press this week. Not only do we hear that they are having masses of sex by the time they reach 14, according to research by the teen magazine Bliss, but we are now to understand that they put up with all manner of nasty behaviour from their boyfriends.

Research published this week by Sugar magazine and the NSPCC concluded that there is a causal link between growing up witnessing domestic violence or being hit by parents, and "accepting" violence and abuse from boyfriends in later years.

Yet the research does not add up. "Around a third of girls hit regularly by their boyfriends said they had seen their parents hit one another. A third of the young women who had been hit by their parents went on to be hit by boyfriends." So two-thirds of girls hit regularly by their boyfriends had never seen their parents hit, and two-thirds of girls hit by parents were not subsequently hit by boyfriends. Those figures actually challenge the theory.

This is a rehash of the old "cycle of abuse" theory, which explains men's violence away by claiming they do it because they had been abused as children. Now we have the theory that it happens to teenage girls because they allow it.

Why should the onus be on the victims? Just say no and he won't hit you any more? Find it shocking when he hits you and he will stop? It does not work like that, as those campaigning against violence towards women and children are only too aware.

And, although it is described as the "most comprehensive ever survey of teenagers' and domestic abuse", boys are, oddly, missing from the research. Research in 2001 by the Zero Tolerance Trust recommended tackling the attitudes to sexual and domestic violence head-on through education in schools and youth groups, but nothing came of it. Feminists have long been saying that we need public education campaigns, targeting boys as well as girls, but the government has paid scant attention.

The research links low self-esteem among girls with witnessing and experiencing violence, but what will Sugar magazine's teenage readers think when reading lines such as: "Jessie allowed her boyfriend to abuse her for months before ending therelationship." Does this smack somewhat of blaming the victim? Will those readers who are witnessing their mothers being beaten by their partners now believe it is inevitable that it will happen to them?

Rather than look to girls' acceptance of violence as the problem, let's start asking why so many boys and men perpetuate it. Lots of girls and women experience abuse because there are plenty of boys and men who think that it's OK to argue with their fists. What lessons are we teaching boys in school about this? None.

If we are really concerned about this, let's start putting pressure on the government to add realities of abuse to the school curriculum, and to fund awareness-raising campaigns on a par with those on drink-driving and smoking. If we can stop men inflicting violence, there will be no need for victims to "put up with it".