About Me

I am a 42 year old woman that is about as happy and content as one person can be. My husband of 21 years and our 15 year old daughter live on five and a half acres out in the country. We moved from the city four years ago and never looked back. I homeschool our daughter. We also love our animals. Our daughter has a miniature horse and two rabbits. We also have a border collie, two cats (again), two pot belly pigs, four peafowl, three emus, 2 llamas and an undetermined number of chickens, lets just say ohhh about 200. I have many breeds, from layers to fancy chickens. I love poultry shows, I love fowl in general as I have come to find out through having more than just chickens. Chickens will always be my first love though. I do show some of my birds occasionally.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Grandmamas Bad Mood

I know this is my third entry today. I just have a mind full of things I want to talk about I guess. I have days when my mind is totally out to lunch for the day...but today is not one of them.

My Grandmama and Mama talk every Sunday on the phone. It is no secret that my grandmama can be very difficult at times, very acidic, somewhat venomous. Some Sundays she is very sociable and they have a good talk. But when it is bad, it is very very bad. This past Sunday was a pretty bad one.

Those two do not talk politics. It makes for a bad time. That was one thing that Grandmama was determined to spout off about. Mama finally told her she sounded like a sound byte for Fox News. We all know that Fox News Channel is republican television. Mama said she wanted to tell her she didnt have enough money to be a republican, but she didnt go there. She had already taken offense and claimed Mama was calling her names. She said NO NO NO, dont you go there, I said YOU SOUND LIKE A SOUND BYTE. She said "I was not calling you names."

Then Grandmama got on the subject of the holidays. She told Mama that everyone was busy around the nursing home getting their hair done and packing to be picked up and taken to visit their families. Then out of the blue she says to Mama,

"I guess I wouldnt be welcome at your table."

?????? Why would she say something like that. I don't know. She is just a bitter angry woman most of the time. Mama said she didnt know why she would say such a thing, that she is always welcome. But the fact is, she is not transportable. Well, I guess we could, BUT. We would have to rent a van with a wheelchair lift. We would have to drive for two and a half hours there, two and a half hours back, in that van. There is the cost of the van, the cost of gas. You see, she has no concept of what things cost. We are not the rich family she seems to think we are. None of us can afford to do this kind of thing. Besides, her newly found son should be doing things like this. He is right there IN TOWN and so Mama is going to be straightforward with him and his wife and explain the situation. Maybe he can rent a van with a lift and bring her to their house for Christmas dinner or something. I dont know. She cant walk, much less stand. For a while we would lift her up and it was terrible on my back because it is just dead weight, she cant help at all. Lifting her up out of that chair and putting her into a vehicleis very hard on her and me. Daddy cant do it, and Mama sure cant. That is why I think renting a van with a lift would be best.

I understand that if I was in Grandmamas position I would get lonely...and that might even make me mad. I would try not to lash out at the only family that gave a hoot about me even after all I had put them through though. Good grief.

She started in talking to Mama about her friend she has there at the home. She said a lot of families bring food almost every day to their relatives in there because the food in there is horrible. Her friends daughter has started to bring Grandmama dinner along with her own mothers dinner. Mama thought that was really nice of her. Grandmama said she felt like a charity case. Mama tried to explain to her that sometimes we need to just graciously accept when someone does nice things for us. Well Grandmama told her she has already told her friend to tell her daughter not to be bringing her food anymore. I said well thats RUDE. That is how Grandmama sees things though. She doesnt think what she did was rude at all. We all know that it probably made her friends daughter feel bad.

Grandmama was on a roll this past Sunday. She almost always asks Mama if I am STILL homeschooling Shelby. She will tell her yes but wont go into a big argument over it all because Grandmama has no concept of the real world today. She thinks I should throw Shelby to the wolves (wolves being bullies, thugs, etc) because it would toughen her up. Does she not watch the news? Kids disappearing left and right. Locally here in Cobb County two 8 year old boys and a 9 year old boy took an 11 year old girl into the brush and raped her. The neighbors reported seeing them all playing together earlier that day. Kids bringing guns and knives to school with intent to use them on others. No, no thankyou.

She believes that Shelby will suffer because she doesnt interact with other kids enough.

Guess what. That is just a plain old myth. Why do I say this?

Because there is proof this is not so. It would be one thing for me to say that she is more outgoing now, but Erin pulled me aside and said,

"I thought Shelby was shy?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

" Well soon as Mike and I came through the door she was eager to show me her new High School Musical PS2 game where you sing in the mike with the game and all that, and she was singing and dancing away in front of us. In front of Mike even, and she had never met him".

I said." Yes, she is much more confident and outgoing and creative these days. I think it is because she has been allowed to be herself and does not feel the pressure of pushy upstart kids in public schools and she has never fit in with regular kids. She has always been more mature so it made it awkward for her."

As the evening wore on and we went out to eat Erin watched her the rest of the night and was just so impressed and surprised at how Shelby was.

Makes me proud. Makes me know that I made the right decision.

WOW..I got way off track. Back to Grandmama.

Mama suggested we go down in December to visit. I said that was fine. But then she decided to talk to Paul first. She thinks that Paul should step up and do some things with her for the holidays since he is closer. We will see how this holiday season pans out.

7 comments:

plieck30
said...

Oh boy she loves to put the guilt trip on your mama, doesn't she? I hope I never do this to my girls. Being widowed young I have met lots of widows and I know some of them who like to whine how their children never come to see them. Hey there is plenty of things to do now days even if its just talking on the phone to other widows. Have a nice Thanksgiving if I haven't told you that already. lol Paula

What a shame she can be so nasty. I don't blame you guys for not bringing her for dinner, that would be a huge ordeal. I have to agree with you, let the son do it if he is closer. I don't see anything wrong with homeschooling, if I had a kid I would probably do the same thing. Lisa

From what you have said about your Grandmama today and before it sounds to me like she must have always been an unhappy person. Some people are just like that. If her mind is as it should be she should realize it is an impossible thing to try getting her from one place to another. Maybe your Mom could visit her the day after Thanksgiving and take her a plate. Helen

Hi, I've been trying to contact you regarding those Blue Serama that you have. Do you sell them? or do you have any of their offsprings for sale? or do you sell their eggs? Maybe your husband still have the contact information for the man whom he got the serama from. I am really interested in obtaining this type of serama because it reminded my of my childhood. I would appreciate very much if you respond to this message how to contact you. Thanks.

Seems like there's always some kind of confusion in our family during holidays also. I think some people are JUST UNHAPPY & they want to make everyone else unhappy too. I don't know what the answer is......just try to enjoy the holidays any way.Hollie

Shelby grows in self confidence in the nuturing environment of her parents. It is impressive how she's blossoming.

About your Grandmother, she has alot of the same behaviors as my own mother toward me. A real eye rolling conversation.

I used to work in a rehab hospital about four years there, and as a CNA I lifted people in her situation for a living several times a day. (Now a blown out back and bad knees) There is equipment there that saves the back, swings them over and into their chair, but when there isn't, you get a plank and put a slick piece of cloth on it if it's not a slick plank, slide her butt onto it and slide her onto the seat your aiming for, by either pulling the cloth or just tugging at the sides of her pants across the plank. Be sure whoever does it has a belt around her middle and holds it and has her knees between theirs. I used to put them in and out of cars several times a week. It's possible to get her in a car that way, and into the wheelchair if the arm of the chair comes off or raises up. It's a pain but it's doable. The renting of a van is going to be HUGELY expensive. She's just a bitter old woman because she has SO MUCH GUILT OF HER OWN!!!!