I feel bad for both Billy and his mom. Him because he is losing his excellent mentor. Her because she can't wrap her mind around the idea that someone who is not Blue can be a good role model for her son. So what if he isn't Blue? She and Church of Blue folk can fill that gap; his "big brother" doesn't necessarily have to do that.

She gets a *small* pass if she mistakenly believed that the mentoring program was from the church ... but no pass for asking TallOne to misrepresent himself once she learned otherwise.

I'm a bit sensitive to this issue because Bagman has encountered it, although not in a mentor situation. He's had people assume he was Blue because he's a good person. He's an atheist, and it gets his back up when people assume one must be religious to be good.

I am sorry for Billy and for you. I hope you can help another young man soon and get past this bad experience. Billy will remember you and I'm sure your presence in his life, no matter how short, will help him in the future.

That said, I think it might be a good idea for you and your program director to talk to Julie about the program and how it's not about teaching religion or blind obedience. She has no right to expect that of you or to expect that you will pretend to be Blue. It will be very sad if she yanks Billy from the program over that, but it won't be your fault and it won't be anything you can really do anything about.

Logged

I'm away from sanity right now...please leave a message after the beep.

That said, I think it might be a good idea for you and your program director to talk to Julie about the program and how it's not about teaching religion or blind obedience. She has no right to expect that of you or to expect that you will pretend to be Blue. It will be very sad if she yanks Billy from the program over that, but it won't be your fault and it won't be anything you can really do anything about.

Tallone, I applaud you for your dedication to this program and the young men who need it. It is very similar to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program her in America. They also do not allow their mentors to promote any religion. It is supposed to be completely secular.

Perhaps Julie should have looked for a program within her church. However, I'm sure you made a positive impact on Billy.

I feel so sad for Billy. It sounds like an awesome program and now he's going to miss out because of his mother's ignorance.

I think you dealt with it correctly. It is a shame the program couldn't find a Blue mentor though, I'd like to think they really didn't have any available and that it wasn't just a power struggle thing for them not to give into the special snowflake because at the end of the day Billy was hurt most.

I feel so sad for Billy. It sounds like an awesome program and now he's going to miss out because of his mother's ignorance.

I think you dealt with it correctly. It is a shame the program couldn't find a Blue mentor though, I'd like to think they really didn't have any available and that it wasn't just a power struggle thing for them not to give into the special snowflake because at the end of the day Billy was hurt most.

It's not a power struggle. They have a certain philosophy and it doesn't suit what Billy's mother wanted. Even if they had found a Blue counselor, that counselor couldn't have done any more than TallOne could. I don't think that the organization should have to violate their own principles because there's a boy in need -- how would that be fair to their other clients? There are plenty of programs that could suit Billy's mother's needs.

The real power struggle is Billy's mother putting her needs ahead of her son's.

Logged

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

But in so many posts in this and other threads, we shouldn't assume that because the parent is so strict, then it's certain that the child will also grow up to be a locked-in prisoner of the parent's philosophy. Children have an amazing way of finding their own mind as part of the maturing process.

That said, I think it might be a good idea for you and your program director to talk to Julie about the program and how it's not about teaching religion or blind obedience. She has no right to expect that of you or to expect that you will pretend to be Blue. It will be very sad if she yanks Billy from the program over that, but it won't be your fault and it won't be anything you can really do anything about.