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This Valentine’s Weekend join me and change your sex life from mundane and boring to Primal Passion!

I’ll be conducting two Primal Passion workshops created exclusively for Caliente Resorts & Spas in Florida that are guaranteed to spice up your sex life and infuse it with a little primal passion.

Best of all, Caliente Resorts is offering 10% – 40% off your stay. Thus, you’ll get to enjoy the workshops and all the fabulous activities they have planned during this Valentine’s weekend. If you’re not staying with us at the resorts, that’s alright; Caliente has graciously agreed to waive the daily fees for the resort if you’ve signed up for one or both of my workshops.

Check out the workshops below, then join me. Singles and couples welcomed!

Use this link to register: bit.ly/1MPhvLu

Sensual Primal Massage Saturday February 13, 2016, 1:00 – 4:00 pm
Sharing a sensual massage with your lover is always a fun. However spicing it up and adding a little bondage or exploring with various toys and textures takes it to an entirely new level of erotic. Join world renowned Clinical Sexologist, Dr. Charley Ferrer as she teaches you the secrets to sensual pleasure using more than just your hands.

Primal Passion Sunday February 14, 2016, 1:00 – 4:00 pm
Everyone’s talking about 50 Shades and exploring at home what they see in the movies, read in books and imagine. Do you want to discover the primal passions within you and create a few fun new ways to enjoy them with your partner? Through the use of roleplay, discussions, and a few playful exercises, you’ll be opening the door to a new way of enhancing your sensual and sexual awareness with yourself or with a partner. It’s all about the power exchange and creating a sensual environment in which to grow.

On a side note: I just spent 10-days at Caliente Resorts & Spas during New Years and I can say from experience that Caliente has created a fabulous environment where you can feel free to be yourself as you enjoy the various activities they have to offers. As this is a clothing optional resort, your comfort is always upper most on their minds and they go to great lengths to ensure it. Plus…their in-house restaurant serves amazing food and their night club hosts wonderful live bands and top shelf beverages. What more could you ask for?

I hope you’ll join me this Valentine’s weekend or one of my other workshops and conferences planned for 2016.

My last two days in China were full of work and fun. We spend September 15 preparing for the workshop aspect I was going to speak on and going over the topics we would discuss and how it should be presented. I worked with Max & Christine to prepare the power point presentations, translating them into Chinese. That night, I also met with Tracy, the marketing coordinator and Yuna’s partner, to go over our interpretations of the material. As the 200 women attending did not speak English, Tracy would be translating my material and add a bit of her own insight as well as marketing a little.

On September 16, Tracy and I were on stage from 10:00 am through 4:30 pm discussing various aspects of sexuality and going over ways women could increase their sex appeal and feel comfortable with their husbands. I will admit I felt like I was in a Chinese Movie where the characters would say a few words in English but the actors in the film were still talking in Chinese. The fact that the event was also being filmed lent itself to that as well. I would catch myself chuckling a little as the thought struck me while I was on stage.

It was lots of fun and interesting to conduct the workshop. It was the first time I’ve had my workshops translated as I was standing there. I’m currently learning Chinese, Mandarin, so that I’ll be able to speak and understand participants when I return in a few months.

After the conference, several of the women approached me to ask more personal questions than the ones I answered for them as part of the conference. I found it interesting that many of the questions asked were about ways to “please their husbands.” (The focus in China still being about putting the man’s needs first.) However there were the typical questions about having trouble reaching orgasm, and what to do if you or your partner had low sexual desire.

Dr. Charley Ferrer, Yu Na, Tracy Tsui

On September 17, I made my return trip home. I rested most of the way home getting a good nine-hours of sleep on the plane. Do so love those little cubicles they have in business class where you can actually turn your chair into a bed. I remember flying coach on my first trip to China. It was a horrible grueling 18-hour flight; though more expensive, Business Class is the only way to travel on long trips over five hours.

As I say good-bye to my adventure in China, I do so with the knowledge that I’ll soon be returning to conduct more workshops with both the women of China and the medical community there. I’m already planning my return trip for some time in April/May 2015 with a week at another Chinese location like Shanghai or Yunnan Province. Plus, I’d like to see another aspect of the Great Wall and walk it a little further next time.

And thought this adventure may be over, there are many more adventures I’ll be experiencing in the US which I will start writing about in the weeks and months ahead.

The opening ceremony last night for Dr. Eros was akin to the Academy Awards ceremony. YuNa spared no expense. There were male escorts to walk you down the “Red Carpet”. Two MC’s to help the event flow. They even had a small skit about the difficulties couples face in keeping the passion alive in their relationship.

China doesn’t condone pre-marital sex though it is practiced. It also speaks of sex in the sense of relationships—marital relationships in particular. As the distinguished guest of honor, I was provided with the privilege of helping present graduates from the company’s Sexology Course with their certificates.

Dr. Charley, Yuna & Tracy

One of the major cultural differences between China and the US is that in America, women will go to the Therapist when they have a problem. In China, women go to the Spa for answers and to get away from their problems. Not really too different than the US when you consider it. The only difference is that in the Spas in China, which cater toward middle and upper class women, many of the best Spas are now offering a place for women to learn and educate themselves on how to become more attractive to their partner and have a better relationship. They build a relationship with the “Intimacy Consultants” and learn to discuss issues to find a solution for their problem. (Psychotherapy is still not common in China.) I’ve been hired to create an “Intimacy Consultant Program” for Spa owners to use to educate their staff and their clients. I’m working on a similar program for the US.

I’ve included a few pictures of the event. Did I mention the gorgeous Ukrainian men who were hired to escort us down the aisle?

Our escorts

Though I couldn’t understand what the Yuna, the Founder of Dr. Eros was saying, I did see how she motivated the women into empowerment themselves. Yes, it’s still a “man’s world” in China and over 90% of the women and men are focused on how the woman can please her man and build a better relationship.

Tomorrow, is my portion of the workshop. I’ll be speaking for 8-hours. Afterward, we have a quick dinner an leave for the airport to return home. Good thing I am flying business class and have one of those pullout beds on the plane. I figure I’ll be exhausted by then.

My trip has been an amazing adventure. I look forward to returning in a few months to conduct more workshops and more education.

Well today I found out that the one day workshop I was hired to perform is actually part of a three day conference which begins tonight. Gotta love the language barriers. Not a problem as I’ve got a wonderful outfit for the red carpet. The group I’m working with actually spared no expense and we’ll have media coverage and recording and over 200 participants coming from all over China to learn from about sensuality from me and from Dr. Eros which is one of the company names they use.

I really have to chuckle because when they translated some of the words into English, they used the word “tragedy” when they meant “strategy”. As I’m one of like three people who speak English, and only two that can read it, they’re hoping no else tonight will notice as it’s on a big billboard. Chuckles.

Anyway, we have a big event tonight and thus I figured I’d write my adventure for today before we’re off in 15-minutes for the rest of the evening. At least tomorrow, I’m relaxing a bit and reviewing the material with my translator as the day-long program I’m teaching isn’t until the 16th. Then that night at 11pm I head for the airport to come home.

I’ve already been asked to extend my trip through September 30th as a few other organizations would like me to speak as well, including a few of the Medical Sexologists Associations. However, we may need to leave that till after the New Year as it’s a bit difficult to coordinate.

Chinese Cultural Tidbit: Today I’ll talk about a small tidbit – FANs. Yes, the ways you wave before you to cool you off. In Colonial times in the US and Britain, maiden girls sixteen years younger (prior to marrying age—marrying age was 15) were provided with blank fans. They were then to draw pictures and write words of virtue on their white fans to remind them to be chaste and proper. Thus, every time they opened the fan, they would see the words.

In many countries, women used fans as a way to flirt. A woman could give a potential lover the eye while enticingly flicking the fan faster. Or she could flirt wantonly by opening and closing the fan to certain degrees. She could even show disapproval by snapping the fan closed or completely open. Have you ever noticed that in old movies? Did you ever think to wonder why the “degree of opening a fan” was so important?

Take a good look at the picture on this fan when it is fully opened (above) then take an even closer at it when it is partially closed. What you see will astound you!

Dr. Ma Xiaonain a prominent Medical Sexologist and Educator in China was kind enough to allow me to photograph this fan which he has in his collection of Chinese sexual artifacts.

Did you see the nude woman with her legs open in the partially closed fan?

Fascinating isn’t it!

I just love learning all these little tidbits about history–sexual history in particular–no one thinks to share nor discuss.

Well all, they’ve come to pick me up early for the opening ceremony. I will have to write a Part II for this day tomorrow. Hope you’re all enjoying the Blog.

Well, I’ve been stuck in the hotel in Guangzhou for the past two days just working. Got some great work done. Now I’m planning my escape to do a little shopping and go check out the local area.

The internet here is horrible. It takes me over 3-minutes to change from one page to another. No, it’s not my computer. It’s trying to access sites outside China—like my own website. I’ll have to look into a “direct line” from GoDaddy when I return.

BTW zhou means town and so you’ll see it at the end of the word when you’re talking about places. The zh is pronounced like a “j” sound. So zhou sounds like “joe”. Thus you would pronounce it Guang-joe for Guangzhou. On a side note, Guangzhou is in the Canton province which speaks the Cantonese dialect as opposed to speaking Mandarin which is the “national” Chinese government mandated language. Kids start learning Mandarin when they enter school. Thus, they are taught two languages when they’re very young; that of their region and Mandarin. That’s your Chinese lesson for today. Smiles.

Safety Glass preventing passengers from falling onto tracks.

Okay, I did make my escape with one of the company owner’s son, Jack. He took me on my first subway ride in China. If you know me, you know I detest the subway and drive everywhere. However, this was such a cool adventure opportunity I had to try it.

In China, you select the location you wish to travel to then you are told how much you will need to pay. It’s like an automated taxi service. Once you pay for your fare you receive a coin which you tap over the reader on the turn stalls to enter. For those of you thinking you could easily lie about your destination to pay a cheaper fee, the government already thought of that. In order to get out of the subway, you must drop your coin into the turn stall that opens the individual gate for you to get out. If you’ve lied the alarm goes off. And if you don’t have the coin to exit, you have to wait for the attendant who will interrogate you as to where your coin is. You might even have to pay a steep fee. Thus, don’t lie and don’t lose your coin.

Much like the train platforms everywhere and the ones in NYC, China has train areas for you to wait. However, in the busy stations, it has rails set up for the exit paths. Also, it has a protective glass enclosure much as you see in the airports when you’re waiting to take their trains. This, Jack assures me, is to prevent people from accidently being pushed into the tracks and oncoming trains due to the mass number of people and of course prevents suicides.

xiǎo huángzhǒng nan (minion) and new luggage

Jack was my guide for the day. Unlike James, Jack doesn’t really bargain. Pity! However, he does love to eat and so we tried a lot of different foods as we shopped downtown in Shangxiajiu market. Just a little bit away from the Changshou Lu metro station. I purchased a few gifts for loved ones and friends. I also purchased a gorgeous playful suitcase that would cost me ten times as much as I paid here. Just $26 for this suitcase. And yes, I priced similar ones in NYC for $225 to $250. One just a little smaller with Felix the Cat on it was $180. Plus, I spotted the minion and had to purchase him. We’re calling him by his Chinese name, xiǎo huángzhǒng nan. Literally translated means, “little yellow man”.

I’m off to bed as it’s already 1:30 and I’m exhausted. However, I just wanted to share that I did receive my two new coins from James. They’re wonderful. Imagine, I lost one and gained two. Anyway, I figured I’d share with you what they looked like. Take a close look at the large coin on the top picture. Look familiar? It appears threesomes were popular hundred plus years ago as well. grins…

Stay tuned tomorrow for more sexy info and adventures as I share more of my experiences in China.

Tracy, myself and her assistant worked until well after midnight on creating a new workshop; my fourth creation for them.

Today, after some additional craziness with the hotel, I finally checked into three hours later to my luxury suite complete with sliding door between the bedroom and the large living room.

Food was another adventure today. I’m discovering so many variations of food and I’ve learned not to ask what I’m eating before I try it. I did want to try the Scorpion Soup but they didn’t have it available. I really enjoyed the rice noodles with beef I had at dinner and the rice puffs that are almost like croissants.

Here are some more tidbits and cultural differences:

The Chinese do not drink liquids with their meals. They wait till after it’s done. Thus, I always have to ask for water—shui. They do provide you with tea at the beginning of the meal yet most people use this “hot water” to wash their cup, their chopsticks, and their bowl. They want to ensure it’s clean.

Breakfast is not a specific meal for them and so breakfast buffets actually have soups, and dinner items. Eggs are typically boiled or by request. I always find it funny that if I ask for an amulet with three eggs, the cook will make me three amulets on three separate plates with one egg each.

Today I tried pigeon eggs for breakfast. It’s basically the same taste as regular eggs. They’re just the size of grapes.

It’s not uncommon for someone to be eating a soup with bones in it and spit the bones out on the side of their bowl. It’s a bit gross according to our standards, but it’s perfectly acceptable according to there since, you have to get rid of the bones somehow.

Hotels do not put on the air conditioning in the entire hotel, therefore the hotel lobby and hallways are hot as hell. When you walk into your room, your car activates the lights and the air conditioning in your room; thus, your room is also hot whenever you enter. You must order two room keys so you can leave one in the slot (and let the room think you’re still inside) and this way the air conditioner will continue to function and when you return your room is nice. However, the hotel frowns upon issuing you two keys if there’s only one person in the room.

People get around however they can with the vehicle they have. That includes having their entire family on a scooter if necessary. Yesterday, I saw a family of four, with the daughter of approximately four years old, standing in front of her dad while she held on to the handle bars. Behind him on the scooter was his wife holding their approximately year old son on the side of her lap. She’s feeding the baby a bottle as they’re driving down the road. Wow…astonishing.

Ok, that’s it for today’s tidbits. I’m exhausted at 9:30 pm (which is 9:30 am in the US and I’ve been up for 18 hours.). More tomorrow when we continue the Chronicles of China.

I feel like the old Batman movies…tune in tomorrow at the same “Bat channel”.

Hell of all hells, I’ve lost my gorgeous prostitute coin at the airport today. I’m really bummed about this. I loved that coin. I’m hoping James can go back to the market and find another for me. I hope whomever finds it appreciates it.

Well today I’ve flown to Guangzhou to meet up with the SMTH group. (No I’m not missing the “i”. It’s not Smith.) We had lunch and then went to check into our hotel. We got there only to find out that they’d given our rooms away because they have a large convention happening and today is their last day so they didn’t have our rooms available. They sent us to the hotel a block away and we were given the top floor suites. Lush and decadent. My room has a massive tub with a glass enclosure shower at its base. The decadent part is that the tub is encased in glass and you can see into the bathroom from the bedroom. Plus, I have a huge bay window overlooking the central avenue and a wonderful palisade archway to drive through.

Well, I’ve showered, changed, and now am relaxing as I await Tracy to arrive. I’ll try to get this uploaded to the internet today but in Guangzhou the hotels have no internet in your room…grrrrr…so I have to truck on down to the lobby to get reception or the business center.

I’m writing this on September 11 instead of the 10th as I was really tired yesterday and went to bed early; besides, I had to be up at the crack of dawn to catch my flight. I’m writing this in the First Class lounge at the airport as I watch the Chinese version of “You have talent” where individuals come try to dazzle the judges and audience. My favorite thus far has been the boy band; their version of InSync.

Anyway, I want to share yesterday’s adventure as it was such fun and many of you have emailed me requesting I post more. Thanks from the encouragement. I’m pleased to hear from you and love receiving your comments. I’m pleased you feel you’re experiencing this adventure with me; as Jenny stated. You can also post comments on my website as well and I’ll respond. I plan to upload more pictures (I’ve taken over 100 thus far) and even make a slide show video once I return and can download the software my camera needs to connect with the computer. I did create a video for you all when we were out to dinner with Dr. Ma. I’ll post that as well.

So here’s the details about yesterday’s adventure.

Cooper mirror given to girls when married.

I told James (Jian Zhun) I wanted to search for sexual artifacts and so we headed for the Antique Market. It’s a large outdoor complex that has hundreds of merchants gathered around in each other in a big square with indoor stores the size of a large closet bordering them about 30 feet away. It seemed the outdoor vendors were the ones doing the most business. The indoor merchants also had much higher prices.

We were immediately tagged as the “buyers” to watch and offer items to. Not only because I was in search of sexual artifacts but because I was the only American—Foreigner in the market. And it seems I’m a rarity there.

Inside view of cooper mirror.

You really have to experience the nuances and the unique “culture” of a marketplace. Unlike the Flea Markets in the US, this marketplace has a sense of anticipation and good natured haggling that goes on in varying degrees and volumes. As the haggling gets started and escalates, passersby stop to witness and you quickly get surrounded. Witnesses then oh and ah as the parties go back and forth and they watch as the purchaser inspects the merchandise. It’s customary for the buyer to adamantly inspect the merchandise pointed out flaws (even if imaginary or due to age). This is done to justify bringing down the price. It’s good for the buyer and also for the seller as he doesn’t feel like he’s “giving away” the item. The negotiations continue as prices lower and the merchant makes faces and claims you’re trying to “steal” the item from him at such a low price. Sometimes they’ll stay firm on an item and James would have us walk away. Sure enough about five minutes later, the merchant would seek us out and offer it for the price we wanted or bring his price a little lower. If we continue to refuse, he’d come back in another five and demand we take it for our “ridiculously low price” or he offers a lower rate still. Typically, you’ll get the item for about two-thirds lower than what he originally asked for.

Another part that I found really charming was that the merchants have a small stool in front of their area. You then sit down (they’re sitting too) and you explore the different items they offer. You can pick them up, examine them, offer your price and then haggle.

James is a master haggler! He smiled shyly as he admitted he loves the thrill of it. Altogether I purchased twelve items total for approximately $287. I’m providing you with the price because you won’t believe all the items I purchased and their ridiculously low price. The most expensive item I purchased was a small Flogger with a fox jaw for a handle that one of the merchants had as a decoration on one of her purses. Her purses are so unique and this flogger was perfect for upclose usage I just had to have it despite her firm price of 300 Yuan (RMB). I didn’t even want to haggle for it. As for everything else we had to haggle even when I wanted the item and James would simply head to another stall.

Female Buddha

I learned quickly the “culture of haggling”. James would tell the merchant what I was looking for and they would produce it or say they didn’t have such things as it was against the rules to sell them there. Yet of course, several merchants had various items tucked away here and there. After I perused the item and told James I wanted it, he would haggle. I would pretend disinterest and look at other items. I only asked once or twice how much they wanted while James continued his negotiations. He would then tell me the person’s final price and I would state whether it was acceptable to me. If not, we’d walk away. If James felt he could get a better price, he’d start walking away. It didn’t fail, every time the merchants would approach us in about five minutes to offer the price a little lower and haggle a bit more. Also, you wanted to have the bag you purchased from a vendor showing so this way people knew you were actually buying and not just looking and thus wasting their time.

The first item offered was exactly what I was looking for and my enthusiasm set a very high price; 600 RMB (Yuan) over $100. (See picture above.) I quickly learned not to be so enthusiastic about what I saw especially if I liked it. James would haggle the price and quickly proved to them he was no slouch. He haggled like a pro complete with hand gestures and incredulity at the asking price. He’d look over his glasses at each item, turning it this way and that way, commenting on each apparent flaw it had. We actually walked away from the first item because the asking price was way too high. This was also a strategic move on James’ part as it allowed the other merchants to know we wouldn’t pay outrageous prices and would merely buy from others.

We did end up purchasing the item about 15-minutes later when the merchant approached us and offered it for only 180 yuan after we purchased another item from a different vendor. This particular item was so beautiful and has so much history I can’t believe I found it on the first try. It’s a cooper mirror which was given to young maidens when they were married. It’s thick and has words on the front and the cooper would gleam so you could see yourself reflected in it on the back. It looks like a wheel. The top comes off to review various depictions of sexual acts. Yep, you heard me correctly! Hidden within the mirror is carved depictions of sexual acts. Like anal sex, doggie style, and missionary. There’s eight different acts shown altogether on the inside of the mirror and on the inside lid. I hope you’re able to see the pictures clearly I’ve taken.

The next item I purchased was an actual “Prostitute Coin”. This coin would be purchased from the establishment “manager” for a set fee. You would then present it to the prostitute of your choice. The front of the coin has four words written on it. You read them in sequence. Top, bottom, left, and right as you would say something different to your wife than you would the prostitute. The back side has four sexual acts: missionary with either man or woman on top, standing up, or doggie style. I purchased it for 80 RMB. (Note RMB & yuan are the names used for Chinese currency and are interchangeable. The exchange rate is approximately 5.2 or 6, if you’re lucky. Thus you divide everything by 5.2 to get the US dollar value. Therefore, the coin cost me $15.38 and the copper mirror $34.61.) Ok here’s a funny thing that happened. After purchasing the flogger and the prostitute coin it dawned on me that I was walking through a marketplace “with a flogger and a prostitute coin” and if in ancient times, I could purchase a male prostitute for a little while. I thought that was just hilarious and James and I laughed when we both realized the possibilities.

I also purchased two Female Buddhas or Female fairies made of wood. She’s said to be a female Buddha because she’s emerging from the lotus flower. The craftsmanship is astonishing. You can see every exquisite detail of the woman and the flower.

Another item we were offered once the merchants knew what I was looking for was what’s called a Loving Buddha with his mate joined in intercourse in white cooper. This one is a bit funny because the woman’s breasts are set to the sides of her chest as if protruding from her ribcage. I wasn’t thrilled by it, but it was unique and would make a good addition to my collection.

There was a marvelous snuff bottle that I found made of ox bone. It’s white and black. The detail of this piece is exquisite. On one side you have a couple engaged in oral sex; the man performing it on the woman. He’s is sitting on the ground with his knees bent and feet flat on the ground while she’s standing before him, her forearm resting on his head, her head thrown back in ecstasy. There is a table behind him with a plant on it. And the scene is encircled by a lovely tree. The depictions of the man and woman craved are of an older more traditional Chinese couple. The male having the long ponytail which you see grazing down his back to his butt. The woman has her hair up in a bun at the back. The other side of the snuff bottle depicts the couple engaged in a sexual act where they’re both standing and he’s drawing her to him. There is a tower to the back of her symbolizing prosperity. I’m so pleased we found this bottle. The cravings are exquisite and show every detail including the pleasure on the woman’s face. (I’m going to have to do research on the pieces to see the actual eras they’re from however this one is about 75 to 100 years old as are most of the others.)

A few other minor items found were:

a little porcelain bottle with nudes depicted on them

a stone bottle with two craved windows (one on each side) with an inner porcelain carousel depicting nudes in a peek-a-boo fashion

a stone penis

a stone vulva

And a smiling Buddha that reminded me so much of the Buddha at Fahai Temple I considered it an omen to remind me of sacrifices we must make in various parts of our lives. Even if it’s as simple as climbing up a steep flight of stairs three stories up to discover a priceless treasure.

Though I love all the treasures I found, among my favorites is the cooper bottle opener that’s got the face of a bird and body of a frog on one side and the back side has the hand covering the genitals. From speaking with Dr. Ma, a fellow Sexologist and collector of sexual artifacts and antiquities here in Beijing, traditionally the male was often represented as a bird of some kind or a cock (think rooster here not dick). The woman was depicted as a frog. This piece was highly symbolic for me as I saw it as a Chinese version of an ankh which I always wear around my neck.

Funny isn’t it how our cultures vary in how men and women are represented in objects and animal form. I advised Dr. Ma of the fact that in the US men are sometimes depicted as frogs. I shared the story of the princess who has to kiss many frogs in order to find her prince. He thought it quite comical.

All in all, we spent approximately three hours in the market haggling and finding items. I also purchased a stone—nut actually—from South Africa. They make decorative items with them. However, I enjoyed the feel of it and wanted to use it as a worry stone. I’ve seen the same item in the states ranging from $20 to $100. I purchased mine for 20 yuan. The nut stone is placed in water than rubbed until it shines brightly and it’s natural color comes out. There are natural groves in the nut which makes it appear as if someone actually craved it. Think of the grooves on a walnut and you have some idea. Only these are more elegant and the groves are embedded. Typically the color is like a caramel and brown mix, however, some have turned red or green. One merchant stated the nut turned red after he’d used it as a bracelet for a while. Extraordinary!

After the market we went to eat. Again, great choices made by James. Plus, there was one item made of a sticky dough that literally looked like a little white pig. Inside it was filled with meat. Delicious but a bit gooy.

James needed to leave us after lunch to receive his departure certificate from work as he is leaving his current employer to start another job with another firm. In China, you must have your current employer approve your departure from the company. The employer would then write a letter to your new employer advising him that he “releases you from his employ”. Without this letter, your new boss cannot hire you. James stated that everyone has a file that’s transferred from employer to employer which details all the jobs you’ve had and your positions with that company. I’m sure it even has evaluations of your performance in the file. The only time I ever heard of a file like that was in the military. It’s always fascinating for me to discover the various customs of other cultures.

Ok so here are a few tidbits for today:

The air quality is bad in Beijing. Unlike Los Angeles where you actually see the brown smog, here you don’t but after a few days of breathing the air you’ll start to feel it. At first I thought I’d pulled a muscle in my chest because I’m carrying my backpack everywhere and it gets a little heavy given everything it in. (Water, camera, id info, tissue and wipes, and more. After a few hours, all that really starts to weigh.) Yet, it wasn’t the load of my backpack, it’s the air quality that has me feeling like I’ve spent the day in a smokers’ club. I’ve ensured to drink tea several times a day to help keep my throat clear, drinking plenty of water, and taking two tablets of Airborne to keep my immune system at peak performance. The Airborne has actually helped keep me healthy and has given me energy. I believe Guangzhou’s air quality isn’t much better as it’s also a major district however, we’ll soon learn.

It’s customary when someone hands you something, they do so with both hands. This denotes respect. You’ll typically see this at the hotels, in restaurants, and other places where you are receiving service of some kind.

They don’t use the word “bathroom” or “toilet” here. They say “laboratory” like the British do. Trust me, this is very important because when you have to go and you say, “Where’s the bathroom—the toilet?” and the person you ask who does speak English looks at you like you have a hole in your head and has to call over her friends to help decipher your words, it becomes a little embarrassing. Especially when you try to make the gesture of hold it in by crossing your legs and putting your hands over your genitals and they look at you as if you’re in pain. I was actually on the airplane when this happened. For a few minutes there, I thought I was on the first plane “not to have a bathroom.” The word for bathroom is ce suo. The “c” is pronounced with a “t” sound. Definitely a word to remember.

I have to talk about traffic and the way people drive here. The highway isn’t so bad since the lanes are divided and aside from people using the emergency lane to help them during traffic jams, driving is not much different here than any other city or country. However, inner city driving is mind boggling and nerve wrecking! I consider some of the intersections we crossed, in particular those that have heavy traffic, as a “suicide shuffle”. Just close your eyes for a moment as I describe it for you. The light has changed in your favor and there is traffic coming at you from all directions—crossing in front and behind you, as well as coming at you from either side. Throw into the mix people on scooters and bicycles making their way across your path, plus don’t forget the people crossing the street and picking their way through traffic at the same time. Definitely my depiction of a suicide shuffle. I’m not saying this from a negative standpoint but Chinese driving is chaotic at best. I’ve driven in several countries—the US of course, Germany, Venezuela and Scotland—I refuse to drive in Puerto Rico, talk about crazy drivers (I know, I’m from there)—yet, China is by far the most exhilarating driving experience by far. You definitely have to stay on your toes when driving and have exceptional reflexes as people are either tailgating you (or you them) and cars are jumping in front of you with inches to spare as you’re all driving as fast as you can. I commend my driver for his expertise and ensuring my safety. I will miss him. Everyone should have a driver! smiles.

Today, I’m leaving Beijing and traveling to Guangzhou where I’ll meet with Tracy. Tomorrow Christine and Yuna arrive. Tomorrow, we’ll start reviewing the workshops I’ll perform and go over any further changes they may have. I’m trying to ensure I provide the information they desire while taking into consideration cultural differences and customs. I will also have a few days in which to explore Guangzhou before I leave. They actually set up the workshops so I leave the following day. I have to laugh when I think about them quickly rushing me out of the country after I plant seeds for new ideas on sensuality and relationships. Not to mention, discussing ways to self-empower women. I am really looking forward to presenting these workshops.

One additional note before I end today’s Chronicles of China. I’m the only passenger in First Class. I feel like I have the plane to myself as everyone else is further back in the plane. Definitely the way I want to travel from now on. Smiles.

It’s only 11:44am and already my day has been full of new adventures since I awoke at 5am. For those of you that know me well, you know I’m rarely out of bed before 10:00 a.m. as I work till 3 or 4 in the morning as I provide private consultation for individuals overseas as well and they are anywhere from 6 – 18 hours ahead of me. My day typically starts with me reviewing my emails on my IPhone before I even get out of bed. Showering and getting ready then getting to work by 1:00 p.m. Breakfast for me is about 3:00 or 4:00 pm, I dislike eating within an hour or two of awaking. However, when on vacation or traveling on business, I’m always up at dawn—ready for a new adventure. Well, more tonight.

Please feel free to comment below as I continue sharing. If there’s any questions you have, please let me know.

Today was such an amazing day. I say that despite the fact that every day I’ve been in Beijing, China has been amazing. However, today was better than standing upon the stones of the Great Wall at Mutianyu. Here’s way…

Looking at the courtyard of Heavenly Peace

Today, I stood at the center of the Forbidden City. When you stop and think about it, less than a hundred years ago only the Emperor of China and his guards (all men) and his family were allowed within those great walls. And yes, those gates are enormous. I have to admit, I got a bit choked up and teary eyed when I looked at James and realized what I had said. “I’m standing in the center of the Forbidden City,” I declared and then it hit me and I just stared at James. He smiles and said, “Yes, you are standing in the center of the Forbidden City.” Ok, cue the misty eyes and a marvelous feeling in the center of my chest.

To introduce James, he is a friend of one of the women (Tracy) I am in China to connect with. As I previously mentioned, I am blessed to have such wonderful people around me. James volunteered his time to meet with me and take me around Beijing despite the plumbing disaster he had at home; such a wonderful and loving man. Plus, he’s so knowledgeable about the culture and the Forbidden City. It’s like having my own walking talking encyclopedia. Big grins. Thanks James, I’ll be eternally grateful.

Now back to the story about the Forbidden City.

I discovered so much about the Forbidden City, I’ll just list a few facts below:

Tree in the Royal garden at the Forbidden City

Only the Emperor or royalty was allowed to walk upon the center walkway which is actually is in the center of the complex and leads from one royal building to the next. The Emperor’s guards or whomever was speaking with him at the time would walk along the sides.

Every building of the Forbidden City used by the Emperor are all located directly in front of the one before it and all in the center of the complex. (The guard quarters and worker facilities and other buildings are on the left and right sides.)

You ONLY ever enter the Forbidden City through the South Gate which faces Tiananmen Square and you only exit through the North Gate. Facing South brings good fortune and health. It’s a Fen Shay thing.

The tiles on the roof of the buildings where the Emperor lived and held court were all painted with a special chemical that looked yellow “gold”. It is said that when the Europeans and Marco Polo came to visit, he thought the roofs were actual gold and thus marauders come to pillage for the “gold” since there was so much of it, royalty used it for its roofs.

Only royalty and people of great wealth could have yellow roofs on their homes.

The Emperor was the Keeper of Time and so he would set the time in his kingdom each morning. There’s a large sun dial in front of one of the halls.

Shuang Xi Lin Men –(Double Happiness) Doors to the Queens Chamber

The Emperor consummated his marriage in the Queens Chambers and only the last three or four Emperors did not consummate the marriage in this room as they were too young to do so. Also, you’ll notice the “Double Happiness” symbol I spoke of yesterday that’s painted on the red doors to the Marital Chamber.

Ok there is so much to share and discover about the Forbidden City, I will allow you to research it on your own. Better yet, why not take a trip to Beijing and discover it first hand? Then you too can say, “I’m standing in the center of the Forbidden City.” smiles

After the Forbidden City we drove down to Fahai Temple, in the Shijingshan District. (We picked up Dr. Ma along the way. More about him in just a few minutes.) The Fahai Temple was empty of people. Not many travel to it and even less know about it. I discovered it through the Fodor’s Guidebook of China. A must read if you’re visiting China! If you’re like me, you’ll be highlighting all the places you want to visit while here and discover some amazing locations and little know places to explore.

Steps leading to the Fahai Temple. (Approximately 3-stories up)

The Fahai Temple is off the beaten path and a little hard to get to but oh so worth it. The Temple was actually commissioned by Li Tong, a favored eunuch in the court of Emperor Zhengtong (1436-49.) Construction started in 1443. Imagine it is almost 600 years old. And standing in the middle of the inner courtyard are two amazing trees that are both over 1,000 years old. These trees are so breathtakingly beautiful words can’t describe them. The most astonishing part is that this 1,000 year old tree is actually white along over two-thirds of its body as if it has aged from brown to white with time. Much like human’s do with their hair going from one share to gray. The trees have a remarkable pattern of small oval circles in various sizes and shape configurations. Most of all, the tree was soft to the touch. It’s simply incredible! You must experience it for yourself. I had to just sit for a little while with the tree and admire its beauty. Despite there being two trees, I’ll admit, I liked the tree on the left most. Its energy was captivating.

Laughing Buddha

Now before you can get to these 1,000 year old trees, you must walk up the alley where people live. It does seem like the area is poor and not very well kept as opposed to all the touristy places you’ll see in central Beijing. (Remember, this is one of those unknown local secrets. Monks don’t even stay here despite it being a Buddhist Temple.) Anyway, once you truck up the half mile or so (up hill—why does everything have to be up hill?) you come to a great set of stairs and an archway at the top. I had to stop once or twice to catch my breath as I climbed those steep stairs. (A definite sign that I need to get in shape since I plan to return to explore even more of China and other countries as well.) James, bless his heart, stated when I stopped for the second time to catch my breath and give my knees a break, “Just think of this as your way of paying homage to the Buddha as you overcome this difficulty and make it all the way up to the top to see him.” What a wonderful thing to say! And yes, I did muster up all my energy to get up those stairs and was rewarded when I reached the top and stood before the red gated archway. There was the Laughing Buddha smiling happily at me. I felt as if he was smiling down upon me in acknowledgement and joy of my accomplishment.

So why did we go all the way out to Shijingshan District, you might ask? Well it’s because the Fahai Temple is the only place where you can see the Nine Murals in Mahavira Hall which Li Tong had commissioned. And the only way to see them is by flash light as there are no lights allowed in the Hall. Though the Fordor’s book states you’d feel like Indiana Jones as you explore these incredible murals, I have to disagree. I felt like the woman from the movie, The English Patient, when her lover takes her to see the murals at the cathedral and hoists her up into the air with a flare in her hand. Definitely a moment to remember!

Dr. Charley Ferrer & Dr. Ma

Now here’s the most incredible ending to an already mind-blowing day; we ended our day with a trip to Dr. Ma’s “Exhibition of Sexual & Reproductive Health” clinic. Dr. Ma is one of the senior board members of the Chinese Sexology Association and has been collecting sexual artifacts throughout China for the past 20+ years. He has placed his personal collection on display at the clinic as he helps educate the people of Beijing. (Ironically, the government allows him to inform the public about sexual health, however he’s not allowed to advertise that the clinic is there nor exists. Kind of like our military policy of “Don’t ask. Don’t tell.”)

The largest penis ever discovered over 3,000 years old and over 4-feet long. Note this artifact is so old there are Chinese Characters craved in it and Dr. Ma has been unable to decipher their meaning.

Dr. Ma is the author of over 60-books on sexual health and education. Can I just say I’m in awe of this man! I’m hoping to bring him to the US to exhibit his sexual artifacts collection next year or the following. Politics must be followed. Ugh…never got involved with it; however, I will for this cause as I seriously believe everyone should be privileged enough to see this breathtaking collection. I’ve highlighted a few pieces below. And you know, I would find the one Kinky depiction of sex that he had in his collection and was not aware of its significance as BDSM is not addressed nor acknowledged in China despite Dr. Li Yinhe having raised the issue a few years ago. (Dr. Li is known as the First Sexologist of China.) And I’ll add a note about the fact that last year I was invited to speak before the Chinese Sexology Association where I discussed the need for physicians and social workers to educate themselves about this alternative lifestyle to help their patients who identify with Dominance and submission desires. BDSM is a sub-culture which does exist in China; however is illegal, and thus is strictly underground.

Notice the woman is holding a flogger while having intercourse with the man. Over 100 years old; Qing Dynasty–Kinky

I hope you enjoy the few pictures I’ve provided. I will be posting more once I return to the US as those are on my camera and I don’t have the software to transfer them over. Most of all, email me if you are interested in helping bring this collection to the US.

Well I’m off to bed as tomorrow is my last day to explore Beijing before I head to Guangzhou. James has promised to take me on a search of sexual artifacts. I’ve been starting my own collection over the past fourteen years. I’m nowhere near Dr. Ma’s priceless collection of over two hundred pieces of sexual history, but hope to someday have an exhibition hall of my own to share with the world.

Today I headed for the Lama Temple and the Confucius Temple. It was interesting.

The Lama Temple is dedicated to Buddha. Though Buddha was actually Indian (from India), he became a major influence to Asian culture. There are different factions of Buddhist monks even one who’s more sexual in nature. Nope, I don’t know all of it but I did look for the Buddha of Love and found a few very suggestive pieces. Smiles

The Lama Temple was really crowded. This is the last day of the Harvest festival and everyone was there praying and giving thanks. I learned that you pay homage to Buddha by holding three sticks of incense in your hands. You hold it before you or if you’re more devout, hold it at forehead level and you bow and you give thanks or pray. The Lama Temple was really chaotic and jammed full of people and families.

After the Temple, I walked around a bit along the streets and discovered the Confucius Temple. Now this was a place I really enjoyed. It was very tranquil and it gave off the vibes of being welcomed and feeling like you could just relax and not be in a frenzy as the Lama Temple was. I really loved the vibes here! I actually saw a few people lounging around and relaxing. The Confucius Temple was actually a school where individuals learned—men of course as women weren’t allowed such aspirations. The learning structure was quite intense and you had to pass exams in order to move up to the next level. Here’s a cute little tidbit: the reason why Confucius holds his hands crossed one over the other (as you see in the statue behind me) is because it’s a sign of patience. One hand over the other at stomach level. You know I’ll have to start using that with some people. smiles.

There’s a hall of steles (basically jumbo size stones about 10 feet tall and 6 feet wide—don’t quote me on those measurements). The stones are carved with his 132 (?) teachings or the most important ones you’re supposed to master and recite by heart. Talk about pressure. Though I have to say some of his teachings are very logical and heartfelt. Note to self: must learn more.

After the Confucius Temple, I started exploring a bit and found this amazing painted tile and I just had to have it. I’m starting to get better at bartering. They start out outrageously high and you start out outrageously low and meet in the middle or simply walk away. I purchased this piece for only 80 RMB (about $16); down from 150 RMB. Not bad.

As I’m walking the streets of Beijing, I found all these little quaint stores. Since we’re by the Temples, they’re mostly touristy shops. I asked one woman to help me find my driver as my phone reception is none existent and I couldn’t figure out how to use the pay phone. She was very nice and helpful. I’m blessed that I always find wonderful people to assist me when I travel. I also carry my driver’s number with me wherever I go and if worse comes to worse, I have the hotel card that says, “Please take me to my hotel” and provides the address in pinyin and Chinese characters.

Yep, I did find my driver. He was merely a block away at the KFC waiting for me. And yes, they have one of those here. It’s very popular actually as is Subway. (Subway was the only one I saw at the Great Wall). McDonald is popular here but you’ll actually see Kung Fu with a picture of Bruce Lee as the favorite choice for fast food. Though I’m thinking maybe that’s just Hong Kong that Kung Fu eateries were everywhere. I’ve yet to see one in Beijing.

After the Temples we stopped for lunch. Ok, you have to imagine how funny it is to try and order from a picture menu that’s only in Chinese and no one from the restaurant knows English. I did learn that mei fan is rice after much gesturing and writing the word down. Believe it or not, no one in the restaurant had rice on the table. Unlike in the US, in China, rice does not automatically come with your meal.

Tidbit to know: Most people don’t talk about this but you have to discuss this one topic as you will do it daily…often…it’s using the toilet. Though I lucked out last year and always found an American bathroom, this year, I’m going native. The bathrooms are literally on the floor and you squat to pee—if you’re a woman. The trick is to ensure there’s nothing in your pockets that might fall out and grabbing your pants and pulling them out of the away. Once done, you step on the flusher to flush. Nope, they do not have railings for you to hang on. You either balance or curse as you fall over. Laughs. No, it hasn’t happened to me! But I’m sure it’s happened to others, especially if they’re a little drunk. You always want to carry tissue with you as they do not provide it. Unlike Germany, they do not have a bathroom monitor handing out a sheet of toilet paper for 10 fennings a sheet. (10-cents a sheet of total paper—that’s the little squares.) I’m sure it’s more now that price was almost 30 years ago when I lived in Germany. Anyway, always have one or two packets of tissues in your purse and hand wipes. I recommend individually packaged ones as opposed to the ones you can reseal. You’ll use it too often and that reseal doesn’t always work.

Ok, so last item I’ll talk about before I’m off to bed is the porcelain Shards Box Store. I found the Shard Box Store in the Fordor’s Guidebook to China. It’s on 1 RitanBeilu in the Chaoyang District. The store is known for taking porcelain which was destroyed during the Cultural Revolution and turning it into jewelry and jewelry boxes. These shards are from the Qin Dynasty—over 100 to 200 years old or older. The owner uses the shards to make jewelry boxes or pendants and even lunch boxes. I figure I purchased one for myself and one for a special someone; instead of a silly silk scarf. I’m bringing them a piece of history! That’s amazing I think. Yet, I’m an anthropologist at heart so, maybe they won’t appreciate the shard and prefer the silk scarf. Guess I better buy that scarf just in case. Laughs. The symbol on the left for the small jewelry box means Happiness–twice. It’s suppose to be very good luck and during special occasions and weddings, you write it everywhere in your home.

Well, I’m exhausted and off to bed. Though it’s only 9:30pm, I’m waking up at 5am daily. China is 12-hours ahead of NYC. I hope you’re enjoying the Chronicles of China and this amazing adventure with me. Someday I’ll write a book about all my travels, yet I doubt most people would believe half the things that actually happen. Smiles.

Live with passion,

Doctor Charley…

PS: You know I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get a knife or two while here. Aren’t they beautiful? They’re ceremonial knives and well…they’ll come in really handy. WEG.