Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure, and while we probably don’t even realize we’re doing this, there’s a reason for it: it’s comfortable. This video from School of Life explains.

Happiness is something we assume we want, but in reality, we sometimes give it up in exchange for comfort. Unfortunately, we’re often comfortable with not getting what we want, so resign ourselves to that fate. The video explains:

Though happiness is of course what we all fundamentally want, for many of us, it isn’t really what we know...it isn’t what we’ve come to expect. It doesn’t feel like home...Getting what we want can make us feel unbearably risky...Self sabotage may leave us sad, but at least safely, blessedly, in control. It can be useful to keep the concept of self sabotage in mind when interpreting our and others’ odder behavior.

Beyond that, next time you’re weighing a decision and thinking about the risk involved, it might help to consider the role of comfort and control. Check out the full video for more insight.