Tuesday, April 1, 2008

As I'm preparing a desk for him this afternoon, my students notice the name written on his little nametag: "Joe C."

Sally: Joe C!

Me: Yeees?

Sally: As in Joe Cruz?

Me: Yeees?

Class: (a collective groan)

Me: Why? Is there something I should know?

Nick: He was in our third grade class last year…

Me: And?

This is where my class begins to list off their many fond memories of Joe C.

Larry: "He stepped on my science project."

Sally: "He stole from the teacher."

Billy: "He sat next to me and pinched me all the time."

Frank: "He uses bad language."

Lisa: "He never gets his work done."

Victor: "He wrote on the bathroom walls."

Sally: "Not that I'm trying to (insert air quotes) label him, but he's not a nice person."

Needless to say, my first stop after dismissal was the office. I checked in with the resident expert on all things school-related, the secretary, to see if this kid was in fact Theee Joe C.

What a relief! It's a different Joe Cruz! What are the chances?

Until…

She tells me of his behavior in the office as his mother was enrolling him.

I guess the New Joe Cruz comes complete with his own set of foibles. One of them being he likes to cuss. Only, he likes to do so in Spanish.

As the secretary was helping his mother enroll him, he muttered something in Spanish that caused his older sister to gasp and his mother to slap her hand over his mouth to silence him. The secretary does not speak Spanish, but after they left she asked our Spanish-speaking office clerk what he said.

I can only assume Joe Cruz is none too happy to be enrolled in our fair school since he's started dropping the F-bomb about it already.

I feel so bad. We haven't even had a chance to earn that kind of hatred yet! At least give us a chance to earn it!

Either way, the Cussing Bandito is in for a surprise. I have news for him:

Seriously,

This is not a serious blog. Any people, places or things I am writing about are either a figment of my imagination or used fictitiously. If any coincidentally seem like real people, places or things you know of, then that just proves what an insightfully creative writer I really am!

Or, that I lack insight altogether. One or the other...

Either way, it is just as I said: a coincidence.

Furthermore, if I happen to mention any web sites or products that I love, but then you try them and think they stink, I am not responsible for their stinkiness. Despite the fact that you may have found them stinky, I hope you'll still keep reading. I'd be lonely without you.