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It came from a Third World Supermarket. (Tuesday, 2011 May 17)

May 17th, 2011

[You may recall Timothy from around Christmas. He’s a writer but doesn’t want to go through the trouble of having a blog, whereas I want to share the people I know with the world at large. So we reached a compromise: occasionally I’ll put shit he wrote on my blog. Here is the first. Sorry Timothy, I had to edit out the name of the Organization to avoid being Googled; plus we don’t indent paragraphs, this is 2011.]

Tonus Natural Fruit Juice. Ginger flavor.

Today’s wondrous product come from the $ema¢o grocery store near the [Organization] office in Yaoundé, Cameroon. Even if you don’t understand a lick of French you can assume that this product is natural and has something to do with both fruit and ginger. Let’s ignore the facts that ginger is neither a fruit nor particularly juicy and instead focus on the packaging for a second.

You know, a lot of people spend shitloads of cash to go to school to learn how to seduce people into buying shit, but just this once let me give you this lesson. Call it a freebie: Words are indispensable. Don’t believe me? Well, just ask yourself, "if I loved ginger, just fuckin’ craved it, would I buy this?"

Okay. Now hold that thought while I make one… small… little…

Words are indispensable.

Well, as you can see, the cap’s off the thing, so I not only bought it, but I’m drinking it at this very moment. And you know what?