No Bad Babies

There is a story in the Bible about a compassionate mother who was willing to let her baby live with another woman, taking on her own personal heartache, to spare her child from a tragic outcome. She was willing to give him to another so he would have a chance at having a long and happy life (1 Kings 3:16-28). Allowing one’s child to be raised by another woman is not something new and reasons for doing so are often similar today.

In adoption, the birth mother desires for her baby to have a better life than she feels she can provide. She makes a courageous and unselfish decision when she allows someone else to become Mom to her child. We should be supportive as she anguishes over what she feels is best for her baby.

Often the child grows up feeling there must be something wrong with them. Why would their mother not want them? How could she just give them away? How bad a baby were they?

“The woman whose son was alive was filled with compassion for her son and said to the king, ‘Please, my lord, give her the living baby! Don’t kill him!’” (1Kings 3:26a). As we look at the story of King Solomon’s wisdom in this situation, we do not see a bad baby, for how could a baby be bad? They may smell funny or may cry, but a baby is not bad, terrible or unlovable! This mother was filled with compassion for her child, and she did not want him to die; she wanted him to have a future—a good life.

I am thankful for the Cambodian mother who shared her daughter with me. She wanted her daughter to have a better life with plenty of food, good healthcare, and education. At the time of our daughter’s birth, her birth mother didn’t feel she could provide these things and unselfishly gave from her heart. I am the one blessed by her gift.

In Cambodia there is a mother who would love to wrap her arms around her daughter and hold her tightly. We share a common bond—two mothers deeply loving the same daughter.

November is National Adoption Month. Please be supportive of birth mothers who have sacrificed so much for the future of their child, of the adoptive moms who sometimes struggle to take her place, and to the children who often go through life, caught in the middle, not sure where they fit in. I am sure all involved would appreciate your prayers.