War Cry

*unbelievably slow updates* One Direction is put onto a three year break. All of the guys have decided what to do with their lives in the meantime. Liam Payne chose to go into the army. He was glad to meet his best friend, she was nice and funny and someone so easily to get along with. She made his army experience a lot more enjoyable. But what if another band member finds her just as enjoyable as he does? Would he be jealous? Or would he be happy for her?

20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

“Here is your pre-party gin and tonic,” Louis grinned as he handed me a champagne glass. I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm. See, when he asked what I wanted to drink at this ‘pre-party’ which is actually just a mini gathering with the usual gang at his apartment, I asked for a gin and tonic, knowing full well that he doesn’t know how to make a gin and tonic. I don’t exactly understand why Louis throws ‘pre-parties’ so we can drink when we’re going to drink even more at the actual party and maybe at the after party.

“Thanks,” I replied as I took the glass and downed the sparkling beverage. I’m not a champagne kind of person so whenever I have it, I down it pretty quickly. I glanced around the room to find everyone in their own little pairs, everyone except for Tanya and Niall who weren’t there. “Hey, Zayn, where’s Tanya and Niall?”

Zayn looked at me with a bewildered expression as though he couldn’t believe I was asking a question I should already have the answer to. “They’re going to meet us at the party. I assumed Tanya told you.”

I shook my head. So many emotions flickered through me. Anger, hurt, jealousy, sadness, anger, pain, jealousy, pain, sadness, anger, hurt. Mostly hurt. I never thought I would be one of those people who would demand unnecessary information off their best friend but in this moment, I am. It wasn’t that I was jealous (which I sort of am) but it was more of the fact that I feel like we barely talk anymore. She’s always with Niall and we never have our moments together anymore. I miss her, I miss talking to her and I miss seeing her. I feel like an age has passed since I’ve last had her to myself. Lately, I’ve only ever seen her with Niall or at a gathering. We’re never one on one. “Are they going together?”

Again, Zayn shot me that same bewildered look and at this stage so has everyone else. It was like they all knew something that I didn’t but they were under the impression that I did and they feel awkward to be the ones to tell me. “Yeah, Liam, they are dating.”

Shock was then thrown into the pile of emotions in me. I thought they just had a thing, I thought they were just flirting and they just had a one-off make out session. Why the hell didn’t Tanya tell me? Come to think of it, I haven’t actually spoken to her since we went out to lunch with Sophia.

“She likes you.” Sophia’s words played in my head over and over. It was almost like a big disappointment that started in my head then dropped down to my chest and decided to stay there forever. It weighed me down. I never knew how Sophia’s words gave me some sort of false hope. So there was some truth to the second half of her sentence. I do like Tanya. I like her a lot. I’m not exactly sure how that came about or when it started, but I do.

The rest of the pre-party dragged on and I was forced to sit there and act as though everything was okay and that I was happy. I had to act like I was fine when I wasn’t. When it was time to actually leave for the party, I was almost relieved but at the same time I was anxious to actually go to this party. Relieved and anxious, two such contradicting emotions.

I was already buzzed after drinking two glasses of champagne and a shot of tequila. When I arrived at the venue, I immediately headed towards the bar. It was a crowded place. There was a stage where a DJ was playing his music. There was a dance floor in the middle that was packed with people grinding on each other. On the sides were VIP areas and the bar was beside the dance floor. I ordered and actual gin and tonic and drank it greedily when it was handed to me.

I felt too miserable to enjoy anything. The others have already split up. I was left by myself on a bar stool, drowning myself in alcohol. I was on my second glass when Niall and Tanya appeared. Tanya walked ahead of him and he kept his hands on her waist. The green monster erupted out of me and I skulled the glass that was in my hand. After drinking in the site of Tanya, I turned to the bartender and ordered a rum and coke.

Tanya looked stunning. She wore a black dress that was one-shoulder with a sleeve that stopped halfway down her forearm. The dress accentuated her curves and stopped just above mid-thigh. The blackness of her dress complemented her pale complexion. It showed off the smooth skin of her shoulder and her long legs. She wore fire engine red pumps and a red cuff bracelet to match on her bare arm. Her hair was tied back into a messy ponytail, which showed off her gold hoops and made you focus on her face. Her makeup was done in a way to make her green eyes dazzle and her lips were painted the same color as her shoes. I noticed, with amazement, that she was wearing the necklace I gave to her for Christmas.

She took my breath away.

“Hey, Liam.” Niall’s voice made me rip my eyes away from Tanya. I nodded my head and took another drink from my glass. Tanya grinned at me and leaned over the counter to order a drink for her and Niall.

“What happened to you guys?” I asked them as casually as I could.

They both exchanged a secretive look. I almost felt as though I was intruding in some sort of moment between the pair of them. Niall smirked at her with an amused look in his eye while Tanya grinned back at him. She turned back to me and shrugged. “Got held up.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line but didn’t say anything. As we all drank our drinks together, I pulled out my phone to find that it was only eleven o’clock. I just wanted to leave.

He shook his head. “No, I need it. Greg said he was going to call me sometime tonight. I have to go get it.”

She pursed her lips but nodded anyway. He gave her an apologetic smile and kissed her lips. He weaved his way through the crowd to get out. I let out a breath. I did not want to be stuck with Tanya. Especially knowing that I do like her and she looks stunning and I’m slightly drunk.

“So, you and Niall, huh?” I asked her, yelling over the top of the loud music.

She looked at me and nodded. “Yeah, he’s great.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. Both Tanya and I were shocked at my bluntness. Usually, I was never upfront about things and it took me days to confront someone with a serious question. But I blamed it on that fact that I’ve consumed two glasses of champagne, a shot of tequila, two glasses of gin and tonic and one and half glasses of rum and coke.

“Can we go somewhere where it’s more quiet?” She asked, leaning close to my ear so I could hear her properly. I nodded in agreement and downed the rest of my drink. Together, we pushed our way through the crowd, past the VIP areas and out the back entrance. Once we got outside, into a dimly lit alleyway, I repeated my question.

She sighed. “I haven’t really had the time to.”

“And that’s because…” I let my voice trail off to allow her to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know. I’ve just spent most of my time with Niall, that’s all,” she shrugged. Now that hurt. She doesn’t have to like me the same way I do but she is still my best friend. What the hell happened to us?

“And what? You just don’t have any time for me anymore?” I asked, rhetorically.

She sighed. It was hard to see her expression in the dim light but he shoulders sagged in resignation. “What do you want from me, Liam?”

My jaw fell open. “I just want to know why you’re so hell bent in avoiding me, Tan. Is it something I did?”

“What? No!”

“Then what? What is it?”

“I-It’s… I-I-“

“What?” I demanded. I took a step towards her. I repeated the question with as much demand as I did the first time. I was angry. Angry that she’s avoiding me, angry that she doesn’t talk to me like the way she used to, angry that I like her so much that it hurts.

“Look, Liam, nothing is wrong. You’re just imagining things. I am not avoiding you!” She said with force, as though she was trying to force a lie to become true.

“Then why the hell don’t you talk to me anymore? I never see you anymore! I miss you.” The last statement shocked me. The alcohol was really getting to me.

She frowned and a little crease formed between her eyebrows. I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. I tried not to. I tried to keep in mind that she’s dating Niall and he would be back in a few minutes. But I’ve drunk more alcohol than I should’ve and it’s drowned my common sense. So I placed my hands on either side of her face and sealed her mouth with mine.

Her lips were glossy with the lipstick but I could feel the soft lining of her lips. She was frozen for a bit before her lips started to move with mine. I could taste the alcohol on her tongue. I never noticed how empty I felt until she kissed me back with almost the same force as I did. I moved my hands down her shoulders and grabbed her hands to wrap it around my neck, encouraging her to be as into it as I was because I knew that she was, something was just holding her back. I slid my hands back to her face, cupping her soft cheeks, running my thumbs along the side of her face.

Then she pulled away. “Stop.”

I stopped. I dropped my hands but I didn’t step back. I looked into her green eyes and didn’t look away. She looked guilty and unsure, like she was having an internal battle in her head. She closed her eyes to block me out, to stop me from reading her emotions. When she opened them again, they were shiny with fresh tears.

My heart broke.

“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I can’t,” she whispered. I frowned. She kissed me back, though, how can she say that she can’t?

“What?” I asked again. My voice was low, vibrating deeply.

She stepped away from me, creating enough space between us to fit another person without bursting each other’s personal bubble. “I-it’s wrong. I’m with Niall, Liam.”

My heart shattered.

I opened mouth to say something but I couldn’t form any words to say to her. There was no way I could describe how I was feeling. I just stared at her, watching as many emotions flitted through her face at such a rapid speed, I couldn’t comprehend each emotion. She looked back at me, a little expectantly. I didn’t know what she was waiting for. A response? A reaction? Well, too bad, because I don’t even know how to react.

“Liam.” She whispered my name. It sent shivers down my spine and spiked goose bumps on my arms. I closed my eyes, wanting to think without looking at her. “Liam,” she repeated.

I opened my eyes again. It felt like she was further away from me than she was before. “Tanya, I-“

The door burst open. “Tanya! There you are!” Niall walked towards us with a grin on his face and kissed her cheek, completely oblivious to how the mood was between the both of us. “Oh, hey, Liam.”

I smiled politely at him. “Hey.”

He turned to Tanya, looking as excited as ever. “It’s almost midnight. We should get inside.”

She nodded her head and whispered, “yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Niall wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Tanya didn’t do anything but comply. When they got to the door, Niall turned towards me with an eyebrow raised. “Are you coming?”

I glanced at Tanya’s face. She looked weary and worried. The corners of her lips were pulled down slightly. I looked back at Niall and nodded. I followed them into the room.

The music continued to pump, loud and unbroken. It felt weird to hear the music continued to play and to see people still dancing because I felt like all time stopped when I was with her outside.

My god. I couldn’t decide whether I was stupid for kissing her or not. It was a stupid idea to do it at this time, yes, because I knew that she was dating Niall and Niall’s my best friend. That part was stupid of me. But the actual kiss doesn’t seem stupid at all to me. I loved every part of it and I wished she didn’t stop us.

The music lowered as the emcee yelled into a microphone, “30 seconds to midniiiiight!” Everyone cheered with drinks raised in the air. I walked through the crowd, unconsciously searching for someone.

“10!” The emcee yelled.

“9!” Everyone continued. The countdown continued as I unknowingly searched for someone. I didn’t know who I was looking for, not until they reached one and I stopped a few feet away from Tanya, who was looking at no one but Niall with a wide grin on her face. When the confetti burst on Happy New Year, they kissed. A passionate kiss with hands all over each other that looked like they weren’t coming off anytime soon.

The shattered pieces of my heart shattered again. In the midst of my anger, I turned to a girl who was stood beside me alone and kissed the hell out of her. I didn’t even know what this girl looked like. Her lips were sticky with lip-gloss and it tasted like raspberry. Her tongue pushed its way into my mouth, moving around inexpertly. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me closer than I wanted to be. Now this, I could totally blame on the alcohol.

When I finally pulled away and looked up, I found Tanya watching me. She looked startled and a little angry. She narrowed her eyes when they met mine. I felt horrible. Why the hell did I do that?

“Mmm,” the girl I kissed purred. I turned my attention back to her. She looked drunk and messy. Her hair was cut short and in curls. She wore large hoops and a dress that looked like a strip of cloth wrapped around her body. She was probably pretty on a good night, but she looked so incredibly drunk I couldn’t take her seriously.

“I wasn’t supposed to do that,” I told her.

She wasn’t fazed at all at my statement. Instead, she took a step closer to me, running her finger along my chest. “Well, it happened. Might as well finish it.”

I shook my head and pulled her hand away from me. “No, sorry. I can’t.” I left without hearing another word from her.

I felt ashamed. So, so, so ashamed. How could I be so stupid! I’ve just probably ruined everything between Tanya and I. I’ve just broken our friendship into a million tiny pieces. I’ve just ruined everything!

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