i hope you can come down…

my life is broken😦

nothing is good.. nothing is in right place now😐

i’m trying to fix everything, i’m trying alone, and i’m not good in it at all. Who can help me? I guess nobody can, cuz the person who should be involved it that fixing is simply falling apart, he’s drowning in deepest black pessimistic hole.. He’s down there and I’m here, trying to get everything back.

I thought that maybe when i see him, we will be on the rainbow again. We’d be happy, cheerful, just laughing at everything, at every past problem. But now, when we can’t really meet at all, i’m alone with that. I don’t know what he’s thinking because he’s always telling me “nothing”. I was fighting with that, really hard trying to get him say something more, but now i know that is useless. I’m not gonna fight with the wind, i’m not gonna fight with ghosts, cuz i know i will fail. Is that game already over? Is that true that i’m not good in love at all? I always thought that long distance relationships are better for me, because everytime when i was dating any guy who was living near me, that relationship was ending too soon. And maybe long distance was longer because i couldn’t really see the guy too often? So that is my fault? Maybe that is. Maybe i’m the reason why everybody are acting like that, hahahaaaa……

My life is full of failures. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… laughing at me is really wrong… xD