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Reading Aloud to My Daughter, From Prison

By Lauri Arrington July 7, 2015 4:48 pmJuly 7, 2015 4:48 pm

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I spent a little over five years of my children’s lives away from them in a maximum-security prison. When I left them, my daughter was 22 months old and my son was 15. They were devastated and their lives were completely changed. My parents, who had already raised their children, were now starting over with mine.

It was in prison that I learned about the Women’s Storybook Project of Texas. Immediately upon entering prison I started to investigate the programs and classes offered. I refused to allow my family’s pain to be in vain. On my quest to better myself as a person and as a mother I signed up for class was completed I learned I qualified to participate in the Storybook Project. I started out as a participant and eventually became the mentor.

I remember the first book that I read to my daughter, “And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street,” a Dr. Seuss book. As I sat down to start reading to her I had a mixture of feelings. Prison not only takes your freedom but it can also take your identity. After so long you become Mom only by title when someone else cares daily for your children. What I remember most was an unshakable joy of knowing as long as I was reading that book, I was Mom again. It was surreal knowing my daughter would receive and hold in her hands the very same book that I held in my hands that day. We would occupy the same space even if it was at different times.

After my daughter received her books, I learned that the books I sent to her went beyond her in many ways. My entire family was touched and helped through these books. When my son missed me he too would listen to my voice on the tape. When my mom and dad had a rough day taking care of my many responsibilities, they found forgiveness and hope in the sound of my voice. All together I recorded 14 books, books like “Sammy the Seal,” “Corduroy,” “Where the Wild Things Are,” “Curious George,” and my daughter’s favorite, “Actual Size” by Steve Jenkins. The pages folded out to display the “actual size” of many animal features. My voice on those tapes was not only entertaining to my daughter but also a lifeline for my entire family.

After reading books to my daughter as a participant I was asked by the parenting teacher if I would be willing to sign up as the mentor. I told everyone about the Storybook Project. I even encouraged grandmothers to sign up and read. A mentor sets up the books, keeps track of who has read, and puts everything away. I was honored to be asked. I knew I would I be able to help other mothers in prison through the emotional process I had just gone through. When you live in an environment where emotion is seen as a sickness, reading a book to your child can be a struggle. I would tell them, pick a book that reminds you of your child, laugh at the funny parts, comment on the pages. Something I did was change the character’s name to my daughter’s name, Savanna. She was thrilled so many books were written about her!

Many women told me that while reading to their children, they briefly felt normal. Helping them, I felt normal. Normal as in, someone who mattered again.

I have been home for a little over two years now. I came home to a 6-year-old little girl and a 20-year-old man. It’s not easy to become Mom again.

The Storybook Project is still very dear to my heart. When I have my own rough days taking care of my many responsibilities, I will pick up one of my daughter’s books and read it. It is a very tangible reminder to cherish even the most difficult days. Thank you Storybook Project for the hope you gave me in a hopeless place. I personally know several women changed on the inside while on the “inside” because of your amazing work.

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We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. At Motherlode, lead writer and editor KJ Dell’Antonia invites contributors and commenters to explore how our families affect our lives, and how the news affects our families—and all families. Join us to talk about education, child care, mealtime, sports, technology, the work-family balance and much more