Mother adopts boy, 14, after losing first child to biological mom

July 07, 2006|MARTA HEPLER DRAHOS Traverse City Record-Eagle

EMPIRE, Mich. -- Eric had been waiting half his life to find a permanent home and someone he could call "mom." Cydney Fritz was apprehensive about adopting again after the first child she adopted was reclaimed by its mother. But when Fritz and Eric met, "It was love at first sight," said Fritz, who adopted Eric in April, just in time for Mother's Day. "I feel like a birth mom." Eric is one of 67 Michigan children featured in the Michigan Heart Gallery. The photography exhibit of adoptable children debuted in November in Lansing, where 14-year-old Eric spoke to legislators on their behalf. Placed in foster care when he was about 7, the northern Michigan native had four different homes by the time he was 11. By then, Eric's father had relinquished his parental rights. But because he was older and diagnosed with learning disabilities and problems including Reactive Attachment Disorder, a condition in which individuals have difficulty forming the bonds of attachment, Eric waited years for a permanent home. "Sometimes I have an attitude problem, and sometimes my parents aren't that good," he said from his big backyard with its badminton net, basketball hoop and swing set. Fritz believes Eric just needed her softer approach and said labels can be deceiving. "If you look at black and white versus what you get, it's very different," she said. "But because of the label, nobody wanted to adopt him." Eric began visiting Fritz and her husband Richard on their Leelanau County farm. He was immediately drawn to the couple, their three children and the family's active country lifestyle. "I wanted a good place to live, a lot of room to run and a place where I could play sports," he said as he watched his dogs, Dakota and Ainard, tussle on the grass. The Fritzes, licensed foster parents for 11 years, found themselves returning the affection. But before they could discuss a permanent arrangement, Eric took matters into his own hands and wrote a letter asking if they would adopt him. "It just proves the point that you don't go find a child," said Cydney Fritz, 30, a volunteer with the Michigan Association for Adoptive, Foster and Kinship Parents. "Children find you." Now Eric shares a life and a room with Jazper, 2, and Raymond, 6, whom he calls his "best friend." He and Emma, 11, are raising calves for a 4-H project. Eric also helps with chores like collecting eggs from the chicken coop and spreading manure on the fields where hay, oats, corn and alfalfa grow. Once labeled borderline retarded, he is making As and Bs in regular classes at Glen Lake Community Schools, where he is in the seventh grade. "He has changed significantly," said Fritz, who is also an ordained minister. "He is a completely different child than he was when we got him." Eric has blossomed under the Fritzes' care, agreed Pete Gembarowski, a caseworker with Holy Cross Children's Services in Traverse City. "We just wanted to get him a nice family and we couldn't have done better," he said. "He loves it out here." Eric is in the process of changing his name to Eric Peter Dalton Fritz. Thanks to him, Fritz said she hopes to adopt two more children, this time black. She also plans to become a surrogate mother for her sister and brother-in-law, who can't have children of their own. "It's not by the color of their skin, it's not by what they look like," she said. "It's who they are on the inside."