Challenges

Pitches

An egyptian plane (top down designs) has its 3 kingdoms fighting over the control of sacred areas. Whoever controls them can influence the set of planar rules that determine who gets to have a pleasant afterlife and who will be left to the dead-eating gods. The plain is crossed by a river like the Nile. There are 3 kingdoms (Low, middle and high, corresponding respectively to the end at the seaside, the rocky middle part of the river and the swampy sources of the river). The High kingdom is black (minor green) aligned, the middle kingdom is Red (minor green) and the low kingdom is White (minor blue). The priestly organization tries not to interfere, with the kathari (as seen in Shards of alara) gathering knowledge, while the river priests care for the fertility rites.

Submit seven designs for common cards which represent some of the basic mechanical themes of your set. All five colors must be represented. You may repeat colors and/or design colorless cards.

Scribe of the lore.
2U
creature - bird scribe
Whenever ~ enters the battlefield, you may draw a card.
1/3
[The guardians of Tho forsake the sky for knowledge. Their feathers are only useful for them as quills]

The non-flying bird is a nice flavor touch. Still, something like this could go into just about any set, with a small change in creature type.

Fertility of the river
1G sorcery
Search your library for a forest or an island card, reveal them, shuffle your library then put them in your hand.
[While the kingdoms fight for the next life, the priest of the river know it gives life right now]

Lay of the Land and Caravan Vigil would like a word with you. Power level aside, this is an interesting if questionable direction; does the life of the river encourage blue splashes?

Desert
Land [reprint]
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T: Desert deals 1 damage to target attacking creature. Activate this ability only during the end of combat step.

This sort of repeatable colorless removal definitely isn't common. There needs to be another way to portray deserts.

Viashino Sandscout [reprint]
1R
Creature — Viashino Scout
Haste (This creature can attack and as soon as it comes under your control.)
At the beginning of the end step, return Viashino Sandscout to its owner's hand. (Return it only if it's on the battlefield.)
2/1
[the middle kingdom is assailed by both its neighbors, so it has to run and it has to hide and do both correctly]

Interesting. Is this a mechanical theme that the middle kingdom will make significant use of?

Onyx Scarab Amulet
Enchantment - Aura
B
Whenever enchanted creature would be put into a graveyard choose one:
return ~ to your hand or return enchanted creature to your hand.
[The lower kingdom's rules are the furthest away from the current laws of Reo, so most people choose to seal their soul in amulets, hoping their family will break them once the rules have changed]

This choice just seems silly; is it really worthwhile to cast a Disentomb pre-emptively and maintain the option to change your mind? Also, an amulet should really be flavored as some sort of artifact, not an enchantment.

Pharaoh's Embalmers
3W
Creature - Human
2/2
Whenever a creature you control dies, you may gain 2 life.
[The high kingdom's applied their custom of mummification as a law of Reo during their last control of the temple of Sehk]

A nice on-theme design.

Tablet of the law of war
CMC = 3 Artifact
4,tap: all attacking creatures you control must be blocked this turn if possible.
[The middle kingdom has never lost control of the tablet of the law of war in all known history]

This is a reasonable top-down rare, but it's certainly not a common.

Summary

Egyptian mythology is a rich thematic source, and the basic ideas are solid. But the hits are all one-off cards. The big challenge with this set is to find actual mechanical themes that hit the same flavor notes. Assuming you stick with the "three kingdoms" idea (which may or may not be necessary), how are you going to set those kingdoms apart? What is the mechanical reflection of controlling the sacred grounds that determine the afterlife? Right now, flavor text is carrying too much of the weight. Find some design space that feels Egyptian without relying too heavily on art, flavor text, or card names.

Afterlife — Burial rites for entering the afterlife or avoiding the afterlife if you've been bad. Rules of how to behave during your life to enter a good afterlife. Powerful people can change the rules for who can enter a good afterlife?

Tablets of law

Cycles of nature: seasonal inundations, day and night, death and revival…

River - commerce, fertility, destructive floods

Great irrigated fields (the kind that appear in stories of Joseph and Moses in the Old Testament)

Blue and Green represent a River or Oasis kingdom that values natural life.

White and Black represent an advanced Desert kingdom that meddles with Necromancy and unnatural prolonging of life.

Red represents clans of nomadic desert raiders.

Proposal 2

River finds its source in the mountain, inhabitated by a R/w race

The fertile plains are the site of the W/b religious civilization

U/r merfolk inhabit the river and the oases of the desert

A mysterious B/g race forms the desert raiders

A G/u seafaring civilization is established ina tropical archipelago at the mouth of the river

The B/g and R/w races could be exchanged, with the source of the river becoming a swamp instead, as in the original concept.

Proposal 3

*Five color rulers - all multicolored so as to be gold cards (seems cheesy I know)
The remaining five fractions are mono-colored or hybrid.
*Slaves rises up against their masters, trying to claim their freedom from their oppressive masters. Red/White
* Religious order protecting the river and fertile grounds around it. Blue/Green.

lReligious order devoted to the afterlife and world of the dead. White/Red.

*Mercenaries and pirates - groups of renegades without a ruler to unite them but a troublesome and dangerous from both rivers or desert. Red/Blue.

A mysterious nomadic tribe surviving in the desert. Their beliefs and agenda unknown and while appearing peaceful they always travel with large and terrifying creatures. how do these creatures survive the harsh desert land is as much mystery as the rest if these fearful wanderers. Green/Black.

Afterlife [dies while attacking](When this creature dies, if it was attacking, exile it with a heaven counter on it. Its abilities may be activated as long as it's exiled with a heaven counter on it.)

Reincarnate <cost> (<cost>, Sacrifice a creature you control with the same converted mana cost as this creature: Return this creature from your graveyard to the battlefield.)

Reincarnate — When this dies, you may pay <cost>, if you do, return this to the battlefield from the graveyard transformed.

Rebirth <cost>(Whenever you sacrifice this creature, you may pay <cost>. If you do, return it to your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.)

Versions of Unearth

An instant Unearth that you can only activate while attacked.

An version of Unearth where the unearthed creature is sacrificed at end of turn rather than exiled.

Spirit life <cost> (<cost>: Put this card from your graveyard onto the battlefield with an afterlife counter on it. It can only block or be blocked by creatures with an afterlife counter. If it would die, exile it. Activate as a sorcery. )

Redemption(You may play this card from exile by exiling a card with the same converted mana cost from your hand in addition to its other costs.) This would be a sorcery/instant keyword, but the idea of a redemption (probably legendary) land is kinda fascinating.

Add your mechanic here!

Other Keyword Mechanics

Sanctify target creature. (Until your next turn, that creature cannot be the target of spells or abilities)

Triad(This permanent has no other abilities unless you control exactly three permanents with triad.)

Afterlife Cards with exile triggers and "When this would die/leave the battlefield, exile it instead" working together.

Seas of Higaro's plunder action keyword

Plunder (something) from <zone>(To plunder, exile a <card/card type> from <zone>. When this permanent leaves the battlefield, return all cards plundered with it to <the zones they were plundered from.>)

Entomb a <criterion> card.(Choose a <criterion> card you control from the battlefield or your graveyard and exile it entombed under this permanent.) Entomb cards act like Imprint cards and grant effects based on what they entombed.

Punish intruders(You may pay an additional X, where X is the converted mana cost of a creature that dealt damage to you this turn. If you do, you may sacrifice that creature this turn as if you controlled it.)

Individual Card Designs

Sacred Tomb
Land
{T}: Add 1 to your mana pool.
{3}, {T}: Entomb a creature card. (Choose a creature card you control from the battlefield or your graveyard and exile it entombed under Honored Tomb.)
Creatures that share a color with the entombed card get +1/+1.

When ~ enters the battlefield, if it was played from your hand, exile it.
{T}: Add a mana of any color to your mana pool.
Redemption (You may play this card from exile by exiling a card with the same converted mana cost from your hand in addition to its other costs.)
(this design is probably too clever for its own good, sadly enough)

Life Transfer 2B
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Life Transfer, sacrifice a creature. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on target creature equal to the sacrificed creature’s power.
Punish intruders (You may pay an additional X, where X is the converted mana cost of a creature that dealt damage to you this turn. If you do, you may sacrifice that creature this turn as if you controlled it.)

Law Maker King 2UW
Creature — Human Lord
When Law Maker King enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a Tablet card and put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
When Law Maker King dies, put that Tablet card on the bottom of your library.
2/4

Pharaoh of the Watered Field 2GU
Creature - Human Lord
Tap target untapped creature with power less than Pharaoh of the Watered Fields’ power. If you do, add G to your mana pool. Activate this ability only during your main phase and only once per turn.
3/3

Desert Tomb
Land - Desert
T: Add X to your mana pool. X is the number of Stone counters on ~.
X, T, Sacrifice a creature: Put a Stone counter on ~. X is equal to the number of Stone counters on ~.

Great Pyramid 1WB
Enchantment-Aura
Enchant Land
Sacrifice a creature: Put a Stone counter on ~.
Sacrifice ~: Return target creature with CMC X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the number of Stone counters on ~.

Sage of Sobek 3B
Creature-Crocodile Advisor
Reincarnate BB (BBB, Sacrifice a creature you control with the same CMC as ~: Return ~ from your graveyard to the battlefield.)
4/2

Pharaoh
Creatures with power 1 or less are Slaves.
Tap target Slave: gain 1 life. Activate this ability only during your turn.

Tablet of Afterlife Rules
Whenever a creature dies, if it was attacking an opponent, exile it and draw a card.

Praying Druid 2G
Creature - Elf Druid
1/2
T: Add G to your mana pool and gain 1 life.
Afterlife 3G (3G: Exile this card from your graveyard with a divinity counter on it. Its activated abilities can be activated from exile as long as it has a divinity counter on it.)

Visionary Warrior 1G
Creature - Human Warrior
2/1
Enchanted creatures you control have trample.
Afterlife [Die while enchanted] (If this dies while enchanted, return it to the battlefield with a heaven counter on it. Creatures with a heaven counter can't attack, block, be targeted, damaged, or destroyed.)

Eternal Stargazers 2U
Creature - Human Shaman
2/2
Spirit life 5U (5U: Put this card from your graveyard onto the battlefield with an afterlife counter on it. It can only block or be blocked by other creatures with an afterlife counter. When it dies, exile it.)

Ra, the Falcon-Head
3WWW
Creature - Spirit Warrior (M)
4/4
Flying
Protection from all colors
When ~ dies, if three or more creatures you control died this turn, exile it. If you do, you gain an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, creatures you control gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn."

The trigger is intended to diffuse some of the pain of putting Wraths in your White Weenie deck, while also interacting with Offering.

Mandjet Oarsman
7W
Creature - Spirit (C)
3/3
Human offering (You may cast this card any time you could cast an instant by sacrificing a Human and paying the difference in mana costs between this and the sacrificed Human. Mana cost includes color.)
First strike

Since Offering offers a chance to cast creatures with Flash, on top of the risky cost-reduction, I'm not sure quite how high the costs on common Offering creatures would have to be. But if "very expensive" seems reasonable, it might be fun to include a "big mana" type theme.

While I like the idea of thrulls in black (and maybe blue), I thought this was a simple way to convey a creature that is "employed" by other creatures, though it also just works with attacking (obviously). Very tempting to put Vigilance on it for chuckles.

Goofy defensive creature, like an alternative to Puppet Conjurer. You could reprint flavor-shifted versions of the Krark-Clan guys for a R/W limited deck.

Duat Philosopher
1W
Creature - Human Wizard
0/3
Defender
When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Rebirth 3W (Whenever you sacrifice this creature, you may pay (3W). If you do, return it to your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.)

Wall of Omens w/Rebirth.

Rebirth suffers from a lot of the same problems as Dredge, the main one being that it creates a repetitive gamestate. But the trick here, for better or for worse, is that it doesn't actually take advantage of Offering as well as it could.

Basically, since Offering is tied into also committing to cast a big creature, Rebirth typically converts Offering into an additional cost to casting that big creature, albeit one that diminishes the card disadvantage.

The format would have to be carefully sculpted to avoid things like Bloodthrone Vampire or Nantuko Husk, and the ability is probably more headache than it's worth, but it sure is could be flavorful.

Discussions

When discussing a mechanic, I think we need to have in mind the following criteria:

Tempo

Colors

Complexity

Interaction

Grief

The Tempo is explained here
The Colors part is self- evident: not every mechanic can go to every color. Which colors better fit it? How do different colors handle it?Complexity is a term used by the Pit dwellers, to determine how complex a mechanic is in its comprehension and on creating mental strain of remembering things and calculating things.Interaction Is a term to see if it can create game states where the two parties interact.Grief there is an amount of grief you can have in a set, and I like to keep an eye in not having 2 mechanics in a set that cause grief to the opponent.

When discussing a mechanic it is interesting to keep those things in mind. -Fading Shadows

Entomb a <criterion> card.(Choose a <criterion> card you control from the battlefield or your graveyard and exile it entombed under this permanent.) Entomb cards act like Imprint cards and grant effects based on what they entombed.

Of course, this brings the questions: a) what more can we get out of specifically putting the cards under others rather than regular exile? b) Can this be made mechanically separate from Imprint? (dubious on both account)

a) I worded it this way because this is how I wish imprint was worded. It's what players basically do with imprint and Oblivion Ring, and I think it would help newer players catch the meaning of the effect better. However, it's not necessary to word it this way.
b) You could bury your guy alive under a pyramid if you wanted to, but it's not so different from Imprint. It's like Detain and Kor Hookmaster; it's not vastly different but it's what I think the set calls for. I think it perfectly represents pyramids and tombs with mummies in them. — Chah

Tempo: could be any.
Colors: W/B/g ?
Complexity 6/10 even though this helps solve some of the imprint memory problems, you still have to remember what cards bellow the card that is entombing do or are.
Interaction: this is something that takes into account 80% of the time only your side of the board. Not too interactive
Grief: It could be used to cause grief —Fading Shadows

Punish intruders(You may pay an additional X, where X is the converted mana cost of a creature that dealt damage to you this turn. If you do, you may sacrifice that creature this turn as if you controlled it.)

Good concept, could use a better implementation.

I've seen this version posted: "Punish X — {X} (You may pay an additional {X} to target a creature that dealt damage to you this turn with converted mana cost X. If you do, you may sacrifice that creature this turn as if you controlled it.)" Could you explain it for me? (if you posted it) — Chah

My issue is that it's a complicated, somewhat narrow effect, but the flavor concept is strong. It feels like a single card, not a mechanic (I can't think of a good, simple way to fix it besides "put X -1/-1 counters", but I'm sure a solution can be found). It requires a) a lot of sacrificing cards b) that you're willing to play during the postcombat phases (and it's well-known players don't like sacrificing their stuff). Stuff like Reinforce, Retrace, Cascade or Unleash are awesome because you can put almost on any card in any set. Ideally it would be put on cards that themselves sacrifice creatures. Problem solved, but such cards would have costs so much (and feel fateful hour-ish) as to not be very interesting to players anyway.

I wanted to understand what you meant with the wording, where you write X twice. ("X-{x}) By the way, these spells are all meant to sacrifice creatures themselves. I agree this mechanic is complex, maybe too complex, but as for playability I think it's too early to predict that they would need to cost too much to be interesting without actually playing with them. I just think about how some mechanics that are difficult to balance like Flashback, Undying, or Eldrazi must have looked like in the beginning, unlike the polished finished version we get to see. I can totally see an environment where this works fine (in terms of power level). — Chah

Reincarnate <cost> (<cost>, Sacrifice a creature you control with the same converted mana cost as this creature: Return this creature from your graveyard to the battlefield.)

See Transfigure for wording

I am not sure how this fits in the theme of the set. Egypt is not about reincarnations, it is more about having or not having an afterlife. Trying to remain on the plane to save your soul from being eaten by the gods bellow is understandable (mummification/zombies/black) but reincarnation is more of a boudhist thing. That said, I like the mechanic in general. —Fading Shadows

Plunder (something) from <zone>(Exile that card. When this permanent leaves the battlefield/dies, return all cards plundered with it to <the zones they were plundered from.>)

I just want to say that that I'm tickled by how this keyword action allows for the card text to shorten. Otherwise it'd be "target player exiles a card from" and so on (i.e. exiling from the hand or deck must be worded the same as discarding). But you can take this shortcut in reminder text, because everyone gets it perfectly! — Circeus

Rebirth <cost>(Whenever you sacrifice this creature, you may pay <cost>. If you do, return it to your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.)

I feel rebirth is stepping on the toes of regeneration… — Fading Shadows
I feel they still haven't found a satisfactorily simple way to deal with regeneration anyway. I prefer this slow form to the undying-style that's found in Nich Grayson's proposal (which I'd just make persist/undying). — Circeus

Instant - Edict

I did not see a reason for adding a new parasitic subtype in the submission of Jacob Munford, even with the Lawkeeper. — Fading Shadows

Sanctify Until your next turn, that creature cannot be the target of spells or abilities.

Shroud exists already, there is no need to complicate things here. Every use of sanctify/sanctified could be replaced with "target creature gains shroud until eot" and creatures with shroud get X — Fading Shadows

Agree, pointless ability word.

Triad You may have this enter the battlefield with a triad counter. This permanent has no other abilities unless you control exactly three permanents each with a triad counter

It reads a bit clunky, but I think it would be an interesting way to play in a set that has blink effects. I would like to play it in a set where it fit thematically, However I do not feel that it adheres as a mechanic to the Egyptian theme —Fading Shadows

This was very much a top-down mechanical idea: it was very common for Egyptian deities to be worshiped in group, usually in threes that are in fact called triads. The most famous of them is the one made of Osiris, Isis and Horus.

It is a very nice mechanic, but if it is about deities, deities do not seem very common-card worthy… don't get me wrong, I really like the mechanic, but it seems to me that flavorwise it does not fit. But I am not one of the judges, it is just my point of view. It would make for a great ability in many sets. Athambia Academy could use it to indicate belonging to a cabal of mages, for example, or Mondombre to represent a full party. I do not get what it represent on a common egyptian themed card. Why do Embalmed Kathari, Celestial Sarcophagus and undesignedcommon#3 care they are the three with triad counters thematicly? How does that represent the triads of gods?