Proprietor Of Libido Events Using Twitter & FetLife To Smear Me

I’ve written about this issue before, and I’ve even phoned the cops about it when I felt extremely threatened during the course of a housing crisis in which this woman would not leave me in peace. For the record, I wound up losing that housing (and my long-term relationship at the time when he chose her side instead of dealing with the tension between us like an adult would), being ripped off by the landlord in the process (resulting in a serious struggle just to make ends meet and still have enough left over to afford food), and subsequently had a threat of very serious violence leveled against me straight to my face (in front of a witness) a month later. This was all before my birthday that year. Three days after my birthday, my iguana died a very suspicious and clearly horrendously painful death, in my arms.

But first, I went to a Libido Events organized party in late August last year, and had a terrible and very triggering night. I decided I just needed to leave early, and when I went to say “OK, well, see you later,” Jennifer waved her hand in front of my face and started discussing the texture of her own shit. When she waved her hand in front of my face a second time as if I wasn’t even there, my romantic partner (at the time) and I just decided to leave without saying anything. I had been attending those parties for over 2 years, and he had been attending them for much longer. He had also handed over thousands of dollars of his hard-earned cash to her over the course of their relationship up to that point. I wrote her an email to explain as diplomatically as possible that what she did when I tried to say “see ya” was horribly offensive. Instead of apologizing, she answered with “I’m just glad to see you’re getting the help you need,” in reference to my known mental health problem, about which I’ve been abundantly transparent. I insisted that my mental health has nothing to do with the words that came out of her mouth (that in fact, my mental health is not relevant to a conversation about what she said or did to be plain fucking rude), and she repeatedly insisted on defending her ableism. I finally had enough and stopped responding to her.

But she wouldn’t stop responding to me. She started talking to everyone who would listen, in fact. She told my romantic partner (at the time) all about it (from her perspective), and told him the alleged gist what she had written to me in an email I refused to even open — when I later opened it after he came back to me from another one of her parties, despite the fact that he and I hadn’t even had time to sit down and discuss my desire to explore other venues with him, it was an invitation to just not attend her events for a while. It is a patronizing assumption that I even wanted to by that point. In the mean time, between my last response to her and finally opening this email she told my romantic partner about, my housing stability became radically destabilized, forcing me to search for hours at a time every day for new housing. She also sent me an email through FetLife, which I finally answered by explaining to her precisely every single reason (including but not limited to the fact that I was facing eviction and a frivolous lawsuit through the residential tenancy branch from a former occupant claiming to be a tenant) why she was not a priority to me.

And while that housing crisis was reaching critical mass, I found out about this:

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And this:

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And this re-tweet, which would otherwise have remained invisible except to the user’s own contacts on Twitter:

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It is at this point that I phoned police through their non-emergency dispatch line, and very frankly enquired into exactly what my rights are in this matter. A single police officer arrived at an appointed time the following day, took a look at all of the emails and Twitter posts, and informed me that he would be going outside to phone her and tell her to cut the shit (which he then did). My romantic partner at the time terminated our relationship in response, declaring that he had feelings for her.

It is not a coincidence that you can see posts addressing @Kilted_Knight, the online handle used by Cpl. Jim Brown, who had stopped speaking to me just a couple of months earlier when I confronted him in a very similar manner as I later confronted Jennifer, for putting his hand all over my ass at one of Jennifer’s parties before I was even aware of his presence in the room (this marked the end of our friendship). Jennifer has since appeared in the news and participated in radio interviews, to Jim’s defense, after he was exposed in national media as a pervert, along with allegations (that have since been falsified) that he was connected to serial murderer Robert Pickton. And while she was doing that, I was busy writing about my experience as a friend of his. I had abandoned FetLife for approximately six months by the time the story emerged, and returned in order to share what I knew about this man, because I felt people were being led to erroneously defend someone who has exhibited sexist and predatory behaviour towards me personally (which led me to believe he’s done it to other people too, and it has since come to light that my instincts were accurate).

When Jennifer caught wind of my writing, by which point I had published 3 entries, she posted a total of 15 consecutive status updates over the course of 2 days, all containing links to my blog entries and defamatory statements about my mental health status, on her FetLife account, in an attempt to throw me under the bus and build a case for claiming that I was responsible for violating the privacy of three people (for which she is accused and refuses to defend herself). I didn’t even know who one of the three people was until he phoned me the day after I published my first open letter to her (link in the first sentence of this post), and I only learned of the identities of the other two long after the rest of the community did — when one of them came forward speaking on both their behalves to state objectively exactly what happened that places the responsibility solely at Jennifer’s feet. I didn’t have contact information for any of the three of them, and didn’t even know one of their first names, or two of their surnames.

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Those are all dated the same day as I received the phone call out of the blue from Jim Brown’s doppelgang, who was the man in the most violent set of photos linked to Brown in the national news stories. When he phoned me, he did so with the explicit intent to demand that I take down his photos — which are screenshots from the news — as if I would simply be intimidated into obeying him because he used his most domineering and clearly hostile tone of voice. I hung up the phone immediately and phoned RCMP, and at the same time a mutual friend of Jennifer and I arrived at my apartment (which I have since lost to yet another housing crisis that began just prior to Brown’s exposure on national news). I was shaking and sobbing, having the full trauma of what this man did so spontaneously evoked by that phone call. I published a blog entry the same afternoon about what exactly he did and what I told RCMP when they phoned me back. I really sincerely doubt that the timing of those Twitter posts is a simple coincidence.

Jennifer also libeled one of the three people whose information she shared with RCMP without their consent, on her FetLife status updates, openly accusing him of perpetrating sex crimes against two women. When the first status update was removed, she posted another. A civil claim has since been filed by the individual who was libeled and shortly thereafter, details of the scale and magnitude of her deception were unveiled as a second civil claim was filed against her by the former landlord of the building where she organized regular parties. She also libeled a former business partner on FetLife, claiming on her public status update that he was sexually involved with underage women (which is a cleverly ambiguous statement that may or may not be accurate about women who were not old enough to buy their own alcohol at the time, but is not even remotely true about women who were not old enough to consent to sex). It is clear that Jennifer intended this statement to be interpreted as an accusation of pedophilia and not underage drinking. He had written on FetLife, detailing an event in which she phoned the employer of another former business partner, exposing her for what she was doing in her off-work hours. That woman was subsequently fired from her job as a result of that phone call. He had also published a blog article about her lawsuits.

Now that the search warrant for the home of the man who is responsible for defamatory libel against Cpl. Jim Brown has been vetted, not once but twice, revealing almost the entire contents of the 71 pages, Jennifer finds it necessary to continue trying to run my reputation into the ground as I continue to publish. She has continued to post on FetLife about me in her status updates and emailed FetLife support to have the screenshot of her 15 consecutive publicly viewable status updates (naming and libeling me and linking to my blog) removed on the claim that they are “private messages”. She has also since followed me into a public discussion forum thread for the exclusive purpose of declaring that I’m “crazy” and a liar, and insisting to anyone she seems motivated to keep under her spell, that the best thing for them to do is to not engage. Meanwhile, Brown has filed a civil claim against four people for damages incurred by libel.

(And guess what, Jennifer? I’m not one of them — I have been consistently telling the truth and was never doing so for the same reasons you’ve been consistently lying through your teeth.)

But wait, there’s still more on Twitter too:

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I dare say, I have been particularly generous through this entire saga, to not call this woman names, attack her character or her integrity (and in fact, have somewhat obliquely defended it, even), spread malicious or misleading gossip about her, or lower myself to her level. And despite being in Vancouver numerous times throughout the past two months especially, and thus having the opportunity to phone up police and add to the existing file at my whim and fancy, I have not.

Not yet, at least. I may or may not change my mind. Cops are still hard to trust (you know, with all the beating the shit out of my friends for demanding tuition, for slut-shaming me for being topless, and for refusing to file my
9-1-1 call when I and one other person were verbally gay-bashed before I was directly threatened with having my head “smashed in”), and the gravity of what she’s doing clearly didn’t sink in the first time I phoned them.

In fact, I’ve pretty consistently maintained that she should simply fuck off, and I’ve kept the opinions RCMP shared with me about her to myself, after dealing with her during the course of these investigations. I’ve even kept her identity to myself in relation to the information I know she provided, which is described in the search warrant for Grant Wakefield’s home, because I respect her right to privacy on this matter even though:

I don’t respect her at all,

she already appeared on national news broadcasts and participated in radio interviews about the matter, and

her insistence that her name being linked to the information she provided will in any way interfere with her ability to continue operating her business is frivolous.

Jennifer: Would you please just fuck right off already? This isn’t about you, it never was, and this isn’t about me being as childish and self-centered as you are inclined to be.

You’d think it would sink in by the time 500 fucking RCMP officers published a blog where they can anonymously air their grievances with the dysfunctions of the force and its members. For the second time.

Apart from the fact that I am publishing my opinions and any updates I find out about that are relevant to the matter of defamatory libel against Brown and his lawsuit, I actually don’t know why in the world she is so maliciously smearing me. I don’t own a business, let alone represent competition. I had not addressed her directly in any way from the point that I sent my last email to her and subsequently removed myself from her Libido Events mailing lists — that is until she started smearing me for the second time. I had, at the time she first began smearing me, vocalized how threatened and angry I was, and after terminating every avenue through which she could reach me, I began receiving hate mail from other people including her husband and the person whose private Twitter post she publicly re-posted. And then there was silence on the matter.

I am living on a fixed income, seeing a psychiatrist once a week (still, and that 5 a.m. appointment time was never a lie, though I am now walking into those appointments at 7:30 a.m. instead). I participate in a maximum of two discussions at a time on FetLife, and when she addressed my public posts recently, I simply told her to fuck off. I don’t attend her events and haven’t since that last party in late August of last year. In fact, in all that time, I have attended just two parties from competing organizers.

I do not know why my individual dissent is such a threat to her, that she needs to campaign to convince everyone else that I’m out of my bleeding mind.

FWIW it seems that despite your mental health issues, in this saga your strength of character shines through beautifully. I hope you continue to take good care of yourself, and to keep those who are petty and cruel to you at as far a distance as you can. It’s how you win. :)

I am a totally unprofessional, self-disciplined, genderqueer and trans writer, peppered to taste with profanity. I am a white settler/xʷənitəm living in the unceded ancestral territories of the Musqueam/xʷməθkʷəy̓əm, Squamish/Sḵwx̱wú7mesh, & Tsleil-Waututh/Sel̓íl̓witulh. I am of Slavic (i.e., Caucasian, Ukrainian, and Polish), Jewish (ethnic only), Scandinavian (i.e., Danish), and Anglo-Saxon (i.e., Scottish) ancestry. Check out the top of every page on this blog for the topics I write about or have written about most.

I give arguments, detail the basis of my opinions, offer my insights, and share details about my life and history on this blog. My interests as a writer include but are not limited to intersections of feminism and psychoanalysis with constructions of race/ethnicity, sexuality, gender, and dis/ability. I also write against colonialism from my own perspective.

I've also recently decided to start vlogging 2-minute summaries of some of the issues I write about, when time and energy permit. Here's my YouTube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/HaifischGeweint