A Question for Father/Husbands

I would like to thank everyone who replied. I feel much better on many levels. Not the least of which is the fond memories I have of threads just like
this on ATS for the first couple of years that I was a member.

The posts have been incredibly literate and meaningful. No absolutes, dogma or name calling.

For the record, I love my wife and five children. I have willingly given up 99% of the time I used to spend on myself. I encourage my wife in her
endeavors and try to be a positive force in our family. It may be the constant challenge to make ends meet or the non stop work.

We've gotten through more trials than any family I know. I'm not the kind of person who needs constant pats on the back maybe an occasional thanks.

What I have decided that I have been putting "money in the bank" for an investment that will yield returns in the years to come.

Originally posted by Vardoger
I am not a father nor husband but I wish to tell you of my experiences having recently (well 3 years) moved out of the home and reflecting on my
fathers way of raising me.

Throughout my teens my father routinely asked for my help around the house and I resented him for it. Often coming to shouting matches. I just didn't
understand the burden of working 8-5 mon-fri and coming home to dishes/garbage/laundry.

He also refused to buy me the latest/greatest products especially if they were superficial items (I'd have to buy them myself). However he would
always help me out in purchases that were worth something such as.....tools for my project car, music lessons (drum), hockey equipment (even though i
had a job and could by it myself) etc.

Once I moved out and now work 8-5 mon-fri and come back home to a less than clean house I can FINALLY understand my fathers position. If I could go
back and help out I would and regret that I can't. I feel that I am a much better person from not being given everything under the sun as some of my
friends (who were bought everything) are having a incredibly hard time starting out after leaving the home.

Best words I could say is to be tough on your kids, but always make sure they know you love them.

Thank you vardog...you have learned what your parent taught you, so there is still hope for me yet with my teenage son....

My mom always told me
not to worry, your children always come back to you.

You should read a book or two by steve biddulph. He talks a lot about about the loss of or death of masculinity and how the woman's rights movement
has done a lot of damage to masculinity and created father or man bashing.

Your observation about men being perceived as useless, lazy fools in the media is absolutely correct, just look at homer simpson!

Saying that my wife and kids still treat me with respect, but not all do

Originally posted by doubledutch
You should read a book or two by steve biddulph. He talks a lot about about the loss of or death of masculinity and how the woman's rights movement
has done a lot of damage to masculinity and created father or man bashing.

I think it's all a concept aimed at selling books. I treat women as equal, but I temper it with good manners as a gentleman ought to. Recall that it
was only in the 20th century that women were finally given the right to vote! You've come a long way, Baby! If one feels threatened by that...well
please don't presume all guys feel diminished.

Further, if you wish to enter an analysis of the subject, why not examine why it is generally not possible in a middle-class family for a woman to
assume the "June Cleaver" lifestyle. Used to be that you'd take out a mortgage and pay it down...my folks had a 'fixed 6'. Amortisation and
interest rate remained the same, and every payment for the next 20 years would stay the same. Change that, though, and all of a sudden two
breadwinners are required...2 cars, 2 sets of work wear, etc, kids in daycare. That's where you should consider the social engineering...and not get
all wounded because Homer is a goof.

Originally posted by doubledutch
You should read a book or two by steve biddulph. He talks a lot about about the loss of or death of masculinity and how the woman's rights movement
has done a lot of damage to masculinity and created father or man bashing.

Your observation about men being perceived as useless, lazy fools in the media is absolutely correct, just look at homer simpson!

Saying that my wife and kids still treat me with respect, but not all do

Everyday I am so happy to be blessed to be surrounded by men who are not so weak that they can't be men because women around them are smart and
competent.

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