How would you handle this?

My life has gone pretty far down the shitter in recent months, and I'm starting to wonder if this is all because of me in some way?

I've been out of school for a while now and i've been jobless too, not by joice though. So naturally my social life has been getting worse and worse. First I lost my boyfriend of 2 years, thenI lost my best friend cause she decided to randomly ignore me for no reason. Then I lost my other best friend whoI knew never really cared about me, but i was naive enough to think it was better than having no one at all...Is there something wrong with me? I'm seriously wondering this cause my life couldn't be in a worse place right now. I'm living with my aunt, all i do every day is watch my cousins, clean and going out for fun is like a monthly thing at best. I have no money,I'm dealing with an illness. Everything is wearing me down so much and I honestly feel more defeated than i ever have. I'm not saying i've had the worst life cause i definitely havent, but let's just say a surplus of abandonment has forced me into adulthood earlier than most .The worst part is that i'm usually very down to earth, i dont get over emotional or overdramatic about anything soI really hate feeling this way.

So how would others deal with this? I'm hoping this will help me out, so if you feel like it, shoot me an answer plz.

Replies to This Discussion

Hang in there Caitlin! You're right that life can really suck at times.

Two quotes that I really like- the first from Winston Churchill "If you're going through hell, keep going."
"Roller coaster's gotta go through the bottom if it's gonna climb to the top again."

My other words of encouragement- we can't always control our circumstances, but we can control our reactions and attitudes to them. Do our best to learn or grow stronger from the situation, try to find the positives, remember that there are plenty of people worse off then ourselves and be grateful for what we do have. I've gone through some crappy periods too- most people, probably all people do. You just gotta get through to the other side.

I would suggest you check w/ United Way if there's one in your area. The ones in my area have a Family Services section that counsels people based on a sliding scale to determine cost. They may also be able to help you with job counselling as well. Inability to care for one's self (i.e. no job) can impact every aspect of life. Work diligently to remedy this. Libraries are free; check out books that will help you land a job and regain your freedom.

Yeah you two are totally right...its actually not just me. It seems like my family and myself are going through our Dark Time. I really like that Winston Churchill quote, it actually made me feel alot better. I've decided to focus more on long term goals instead of being upset about a different thing every day, which is what my mom pointed out is happening.
I'm definitely going through hell, but the human mind can't concieve of infinity, so there's got to be an end.

1. join a club or a group, or volunteer for an organization you love. There's nothing more positive than doing something positive with other people. Its a great way to make friends too

2. if you're unemployed, you can get a job quickly by doing the following: work up your resume, make copies, put on some nice clothes, go knock on every door within 5 miles from your home/apartment. Be direct, ask for work, shake hands and make eye contact. I guarantee you'll have at least something before the end of the week. Then stay on top of Craigslist ads, taking every part time thing that comes along in your area. If you're a musician or teacher-type, put some service/lessons ads on CL to get some business that way

3. once you get a job, get out of the house - you can start by rooming with others for a couple $100 a month, and then get your own place once you start making more money

and while there is obviously no point in focusing too long on the negative, sometimes if we allow ourselves a few moments sadness, frustration and anger with the knowledge that we will stop after a set time, it is a good release before moving on towards our goals.
Sometimes we expect ourselves to be so strong that we don't let ourselves a even a few moments of weakness and it can kind of build up, making it worse. At least that has been my experience.

These are things I'd do if I were in your situation:
- Update my resume and give one to every place in the area that I could think of that I might even remotely be qualified for.
- Do some volunteer work to get out of the house and talking to people. (Volunteer work is a great way to obtain more skills and it shows possible employers that you are motivated or it could even land you a job you could go from volunteer to a hire).
- Get creative with your skills now. I'm a preschool teacher so if I ever lost my job I'd submit my resume to school around town and offer to do babysitting, sick care, or care for a child while the parents just get some work done.