A Eulogy

R.I.P. Hoverboards: A Eulogy to 2015’s Too-Hot Toy

“Hoverboards” had so much promise. The holiday season's hottest toy had otherwise self-respecting, image-conscious celebrities cruising around on plastic hands-free Segways, and had the rest of the public clambering to shell out up to $2,000 for a glorified scooter. By everyone’s estimation, they were the most coveted toy topping kids’s Christmas lists, and just as fiercely, companies have been fighting over who could take credit for inventing them.

Retailers, too, have backed away from what they thought would be a holiday season cash cow. Amazon seems to be pulling some hoverboards from its site, according to the Verge, a move that follows Overstock’s decision last week to stop selling them.

The backlash against the hoverboard is devastating news for enthusiasts worldwide. Many children, who have begged Santa for their very own hovie, will be heartbroken, though un-burned, on Christmas morning. We can only imagine that this is a very dark time for__Justin Bieber__, Brooklyn Beckham, Chris Brown, and the Kardashian/Jenner sisters, some of the most vehement hoverboard enthusiasts. We can only hope they focus on the good times they had wiping out and touring the South of France together. R.I.P. hoverboards, may you find that great, open sidewalk in the sky.