AND AN EVEN BIGGER PLUS IS TERRANCE IS HOBBS IS BLACK not being racial or prejudice in any way if you're wondering, and mike smith also the same race as him...so its like an oreo mix of brutal death metal in a way to me on this record lol

So very happy that this thread is back from the dead. I wonder if anyone who had their stuff posted here has since improved and actually become a really good writer, or if they just came, dashed a tiny shitstain upon the world, and proceeded to vanish back into the ether.

Another good one, this time for Annihilator's All For You thanks to RoddyVendetta:

I can not judge the album negatively, because it is very good perhaps leave behind Waking the Fury one of the best albums in that time and some bands changed the Thrash with the modern trends (groove) , is acceptable, another view is that its line up changes a lot, I liked the technique Randy Black on drums, surely was anything this album, I do not want to talk about the past, All for you is a great album. Dave Padden is a great vocalist is not uncommon to find albums like this, something melodic, gentle album, All for you perhaps is an example of soft and slow, Dr psycho has a blues intro with voice quality and fineness of Padden fury in the choir, Demon Dance a very good song, good intro , are not rhythmic, The One is a beautiful ballad perhaps corny, and the remaining songs have good rhythm ,Both , Rage aboslute with symphonic sound, not by chance hear cries of long duration and the instrumental the Sound of Horror reminded me of something similar to Slayer South Of Heaven song is a great album but I can not judge the only Padden vocalist is vocalist nothing else , and if Joe Comeau was still the sound would not change a sound like the last album.

_________________"I went to see Finger Eleven and Trapt and I was in the moshpit!" - Faith"Did they give you a balloon on the way in?" - Andy

Yeah, I agree, and some of the reviews have been hilarious. If the reviewer was obviously being stupid deliberately then a post in here should be okay, but if a reviewer was actually trying to write a review, there's no need to name and shame them, it's mean.

_________________

vacca wrote:

"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

Believe me, we don't pay attention to the reviewer as much as you think. We read and we get a kick out of it, and whoever wrote it doesn't matter anymore. Only classics like "Grains in her face", "Occaz the frangins!", "what a sex!", and that Goatfago reviewer are the type that get ridiculed.

_________________

gomorro wrote:

Yesterday was the birthday of school pal and I met the chick of my sigh (I've talked about here before, the she-wolf I use to be inlove with)... Maaan she was using a mini-skirt too damn insane... Dude you could saw her entire soul every time she sit...

I think most of them are, but I'm sure there are a few reviewers in here that were actually trying, and it just seems mean to name and shame people. If it does turn out that every reviewer here was just somebody being silly, then fine, ignore my posts and carry on with this topic. If you make jokes, you can take jokes.

_________________

vacca wrote:

"Pointwhoring is no fun. Pointwhoring endangers the life and happiness of millions. It must stop. We appeal in particular to the youth of today, stop the madness. There are better things in life."

Last edited by HouseSpiders on Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: Tue May 31, 2011 1:24 amPosts: 2785Location: A step closer to home

Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:53 pm

Goddammit, oogboog 2.0, no one's being "disgraced" here. The users that submit these reviews tend not to hang around the actual community (and it's not because they've been ridiculed; most of them probably don't even know that this thread exists), and even if they did and they saw this thread, well, better to let them know that their review was laughably bad than to let them try submitting 50 more that are equally horrible.

_________________

Guitarpro77889 wrote:

which ones are mainstream cuz i will stop listening to them

Last edited by MalignantThrone on Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Goddammit, oogboog 2.0, no one's being "disgraced" here. The users that submit these reviews tend not to hang around the actual community (and it's not because they've been ridiculed; most of them probably don't even know that this thread exists), and even if they did and they saw this thread, well, better to let them know that their review was laughably bad than to let them try submitting 50 more that are equally horrible.

I really wish this review was acceptable, because this guy is fucking hilarious.

ohbloodyhell, for Fear Factory - The Industrialist wrote:

[An exercise in speculative hypotheticals]

Dino: I’m running out of pizza, and my weight is going down, so that’s not good. I need to make some money, bud.

Burton: OK, I’ll come over and talk to you.

Dino: Yeah, but bring some pizza, please. I’m starving and the toilet is overflowing, so bring a plunger.Burton: Alright.

(Later, at Dino’s house [of pizza and overflowing toilets]Burton: I heard that some bands are firing everybody so they don’t have to share any of the money. I think if it’s you and me, we can share the money just between the two of us and maybe you can have more pizza.

Dino: Great idea! More pizza and hamburgers for me! Do you think I’m getting too fat?

Burton: No, people like you because you are fat, Dino. Here, eat some pizza.

Dino: Wait, but what about the drums and bass and stuff?

Burton: Drum machines and studio technology, my pizza-loving friend!! Let’s use a drum machine and have friends help us layer the living daylights out of the next album.

Dino: (stuffing his face) Cool. What do you think I should do with my guitar parts?

Burton: Forget it, play a chugga-chugga riff, like you do when you play with one hand and eat pizza with the other. Then, we will loop that riff and add some machine-robot sounds for “atmosphere”. People will say it’s “genius”!

Burton: Well, pizza lover, let’s just say that you are not known for being a gifted guitar player.

Dino: (putting french fries and cookies on his pizza) What about your vocals?

Burton: Ah, whatever. Auto tune everything. Just bark like a dog and then scream and let our friends edit this stuff with their computers and add layers to make it sound robotic and let’s leave it at that.

Dino: (licking some cheese that fell on the floor) Yup, anything that we can use as an excuse to tour! Who should we hire for drums and bass?

Burton: Don’t worry about it. Let’s find a couple of desperate suckers who will be fooled into thinking they will make good money as hired hands. Just don’t tell them anything. We’ll fire them at the end of the tour.

Dino: (putting some pasta and hot sauce on his pizza) OK, I like the plan. Let’s call the album “The Industrialist” and let’s use drum machines and let’s program the hell out it in the studio. I will chugga-chugga with my guitar and you scream and I think that will be enough.

Burton: Yup, yup. Nobody pays attention anyway. It’s all just drunk Pantera and Soulfly fans at the shows. I just need to remember to tell them that they are the best fans in the world, that they rule, tell them to move, to mosh and tell them to keep drinking and eating pizza and we’ll be alright.

Dino: (putting jalapeños, pickles, refried beans, rice, chicken wings, pineapple, bacon, some dog food and tuna on his pizza) Awesome plan! I like it! I like it more than this pizza!! No wait, that’s not true, man.

Burton: OK, Dino, you look tired. Go to sleep, have some pizza and we’ll go loop some guitar chugga-chugga tomorrow.

Dino: Ah, ok, I think that if we wor…(snoring. fell asleep with a pizza slice on this mouth).

The End.

Not an acceptable review but holy shit this had me laughing. He had another one for the new Gojira where the three American Idol judges judged it but that wasn't saved. It's a shame these aren't acceptable, because this dude is full of gold.

My favourite part is:Dino: (putting jalapeños, pickles, refried beans, rice, chicken wings, pineapple, bacon, some dog food and tuna on his pizza) Awesome plan! I like it! I like it more than this pizza!! No wait, that’s not true, man.