Is it normal to have no child free time?

I have an 18 month old and a 7 week old. I went back to work in-between but I'm on maternity leave at the moment. My 18 month old gets up around 6am everyday, rarely naps (gave those up at 10 months old) and we have to fight to get her to bed. We've tried everything! I won't bore you with details but after a struggle she goes to bed between 9.30pm and can be as late as 11pm. We literally keep the same waking hours as she does! We don't have any toddler free time at all and it's wearing me down.

Obviously having a new baby means we have round the clock every few hour feeds too etc.

Does anyone else have every waking hour occupied by their children with no child free/adult time at all ever? I'm finding I have to sort washing/pay bills/have a bath at ridiculous times like 3 or 4 in the morning! Is this normal?

I have a 2 year old who will not contemplate sleep before 9 15pm, usually 10pm. Doesn't matter what time she wakes, whether she naps or not, how active she has been in the day. She just won't sleep earlier.

I think most people do get child free time in that grandparents or family tend to help. Also ppl use childcare. Sounds very full on to me. You could really do with getting your 18 month to bed much earlier mine goes around 6.30 pm. I would literally crack up if I didn't get evenings to myself.

My baby is around 3 months and I am on maternity leave at the moment I get baby free time by;Leaving DD with DH and going out for coffee/a look around the shops My Mum/dad often take her round the park for a walk while I have a nice soak. Me & DH get alone time by in laws or my parents baby sitting while we go for a meal or something

Could you leave your DC with there Dad a few hours a week and do something for you? Or would you consider a baby sitter once a month so you and your partner get out just you?

It's normal for me, I have a 13yo, 7yo who is homeschooled and 8mo baby, along with no local family and dh grappling with a pgce we get zero time to ourselves. I try to do things like housework & other boring domestic shit with the kids either helping or entertaining each other, I bathe with the 7yo and the baby, co-sleep, and have had to let things like personal grooming and having a lovely (looking) home slide. I'm planning another baby soon so won't get any me time for a looooong while, to me it is worth it but of course sometimes I just want to lock myself in the bedroom and starfish on the bed for a couple of hours.

I have a 17 year old and a 3 year old and I have one hour a week where I volunteer at a youth group without my children. However, clearly it isn't working for you. Do you haveany friends or family who could help out at all, could your 18 month old continue with whatever form of childcare you used whilst working so you can potentially do your own thing whilst baby naps. Really hope things get easier for you soon. 16 months is a hard gap at least in the short term. Also can you and your husband tag team a little so you both get an hour or 2 each week where the other is responsible for children.

I would at least start leaving them alone with Dh a bit. Even breastfed baby you can leave an hour. Just leave them both and go for a walk and coffee an hour at least

Time alone has always happened here. We have two children, 15 month gap, now school age. From days old Dh or I both left each other for a basic hour to ourselves. A coffee out, meet friend for an hour, gym an hour etc.

Mine also have always had late bedtime. A 18 months bedtime was 10-11pm, but then they slept until 9am at least. So would often wake at 7am ourselves and have a few hours to get whatever done at home. They also napped 2-3hrs

Can you implement quiet time if not napping? Every day at 1pm get him to sit in his bed ( take side off if it's a baby cot still), and listen to story tape and look at books himself an hour. He might fall asleep also

Like Artandco we have both always had child free time (ours have a 19 month gap)because we have left them with each other. When dd was tiny it might only have been half a hour whilst I walked around the village. When she got a little bigger (from around 3 months) I woukd go out once a week (still do) and leave her with dp.

This might not sound helpful but your DD must be chronically overtired. You couldn't get someone in to help you with that? I know it is trite to say but sleep begets sleep and the fact she is getting so little must be impacting the level to which she's 'wound up'.

I could not cope - mentally, physically or emotionally - with what you're describing. DS is in bed by 7.30 and I relish my 3 hours of time off before I go to bed...

Not normal here, sorry. At that age, my two were in bed by 7pm although up early but we both said that we would rather put up with early starts and have some evening to ourselves. Sounds horrendous to have your toddler up with you til 9pm or 11pm!

Now they're older, we get less of our evening as two nights a week the nearly teenager goes to bed when we do. However as kids get older, they need much less entertaining so it isn't really an issue.

Can't you have any time to yourself? Leave the kids with your OH for an hour or two? Creche at the gym? Friends taking the kids for an hour?

If you have a partner you can run out the door for an hour. Go to supermarket to buy something "essential" and have a latte in their cafe. Go for mini-recharges if there is no likelihood of a night off.