My anger-bangs have turned out okay. I may even thicken them up a bit more.

No pics, though, me and the camera ain't gettin' along.

Finally made some breakthroughs at work, in terms of laying out the law around my job and duties and needs: after two weeks of tiptoeing I'm starting to speak up. Of course the only reason I'm on WC is because I got so distracted from what I was doing that I decided to take a break entirely .... They were good distractions before, but now it's just intrusive.Ubuuuuuuh anyways, here, have a hilarious archival find.

I did a touch of helping to run a SMART (Self Management And Recovery Training) group today, and then traveled to a city I've never been to with a lady-mate for a bite-to-eat and a movie. It was a bit of an adventure for us old souls. I'm finally starting to feel gratitude for where I'm at in my life. I don't want to get all gushy, but it's bloody amazing, really. I came back from the brink of death, and now I'm doing each day the best I can.

So it looks like I'm heading to the Royal Ontario Museum on Friday to talk to an expert in Mesopotamian culture about the origin of beer. After my big long gripe on the open mic thread this...this feels more like the vein of stuff that keeps me interested.

July seems to be a very busy and sort of tough month for me, and for the last few mornings I've woken up with the same sort of shields-down fragility that was the order of the day in the shit times of the last couple of years - greatly diminished, but it's there. There's a really simple remedy that for me, though, something that's almost corny - breakfasts on the balcony. I'm again letting the morning sun burn away the mental mess. The sky's deep blue, swallows are darting in the air, the balcony garden is doing well after the re-potting and there might just be some sweet peas still in the vines. It really is weird how effective an mental health injection having an escape hatch into the nature in my apartment is. Well, time to quaff down the coffee and head out to the office.

Stuck in CRB hell. I have to provide references from people who have known me for at least five years and can comment on my activity/work history etc accross all that time.

I had a major clear out/dumpage of people when I moved here and more recently cut others off when they were basically unplesant to know... plus most of the people I know are online anyway. Those I've known longer are not 'active' in my life anymore (live overseas or at a distance mainly) in the way demanded by the ruddy forms... or maybe I've seen them once a year if that in that time frame.

It's been anywhere from meh to complete "this sucks balls and I really shouldn't complain just because I have actual responsibilities like an actual adult, but still."

So the good has been yesterday running away from home for the evening to party with friends, set off explosives, watch really big fireworks, laugh and hug with good folks. It was excellent and ended all too soon.

And today twice I went off to deal with stuff and came back to my room/computer all cranky and put out, only to find very cool things waiting for me. The writer/director of a Web-only show, THE BOOTH AT THE END, responded to a tweet from me explaining how a certain actor came on board and then he rewrote the role for that actor once he had reviewed the guy's past work and that let the actor do some of the best work I've ever seen. Coming back to a tweet storm is sometimes kinda nice - in a validating my existence kind of way. It's really nice when it's a creator like that who just wrote back to some fan's tweet of thanks.

And the second time a person handling an audition for an indie video game wrote back to my inquiry letting me know how to proceed with my audition. I'd forgotten about that project. I just wrote to them a couple of days ago but, seriously, a lot has been on my mind, and none of it regarding acting/voice work. So a little light in the "stuff I want to do because I like who I am when I do it" corner of my light started blinking back on, and that's a really good feeling.

PurpleGoth: That sucks! I find there's a lot of stuff like that which really is ten years behind. That thing, and the idea that everyone can remember two numbers they frequently call when their phones get stolen. I communicate with my wife ALL THE TIME on my phone... But I hardly ever call her. And I couldn't tell you her number. And she's the only one I make regular phone calls to. I call my dad, but that's Skype. So what are you supposed to do? Major headache about two years back, that.

It's been a battle. I hurt all over, my arms are scratched to fuck, but I have finally wrangled 100m of cat6 external ethernet cable down the garden and have a cable broadband connection in the study. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. I'm BACK ONLINE.

A number of you have reached out to me either here or elsewhere in cyberspace to give me e-hugs and messages of support. Suffice it to say, I love you all and I love this place.

I've had a pretty effective set of distractions while I've been out here in the bay area. I also managed to fall down the stairs last night (... while disappointingly un-drunk, I'm just that clumsy) and could have really hurt myself but managed to escape without a concussion or worse. I'm just limping a little (bruised my heel bone [calcaneus] pretty annoyingly) and managed to land on my cartilage piercings on one ear. Instead of a serious concussion I just jostled those pretty heavily.

Anyway. These past two days could have been far worse than they have been. Some of you all have helped with that. Thank you.

It was my mom's Birthday yesterday. My dad was out of town on business so we're going to do a big celebration next weekend but we had a nice day that featured lounging in our beds for a bit (We had a bit of a Life on Mars Netflix marathon the night before). Then I got to work starting to clean a portion of the kitchen. This may not sound like much, but considering that what I did clean, a portion of counter and a cupboard that hadn't really been cleaned in 20ish years, suffice to say it lasted a few hours.

SO. MUCH. MOUSE SHIT. It will be in my nightmares.

But it all got cleaned up and sanitized. The cupboard was cleared out and given a good scrub then we put things that aren't garbage in there and now...everything is clean. Very sparkling.

Moar barefoot kitchen cleaning and killing of nasty creepies. If there were any justice in the world, from the number of bugs I've killed, I would surely meet my end from poison, drowning or crushing. PLEASE WORLD DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME, OK, PLEASE, THANKS, YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

Giving advance warning that I need people to be nice to me this weekend - clearing the daughters room whilst one of them is away... supposedly to strip walls, repaper and repaint, but if I give in to DPs insistence on stripping the lining paper I suspect that I will still be trying to rehang fresh stuff for weeks (and there is bound to be some *awful* something underneath that was the reason for the paper in the first place, because *everytime* we've removed the top layer of something in this house there has been. Previous owners were complete cowboys!) and there will be complete argh-age from all. (I am not gifted at DIY, and neither is DP & even though he thinks he will do things he insists on them being done 'properly' which most of the time he doesn't manage, stops halfway and things never get finished (wit the state of much of the house!)

Yes, I know that someone should be paid to do it, but, um, yeah... small problem there.

I am rolling my eyes lots and grinning about it, because if I don't I will cry. and then you'll all need to deliver real hugs in person because ... just because.

But I did wire a yummy circuit this afternoon, I have a bundle of hangings to fold into gorgeous shapes for the LumaModule that is going to Burning Man (go and see it if you go, its fantastic! You get lights!), and I have a really nice bottle of wine to dive into later.

And the teen is away, and life (sadly) always gets a bit calmer when she is...

- Planned a small dinner party for my mom's birthday over the weekend. I made bruschetta for the first time as well as Cream Scones. They both went over incredibly (The cream scones went with my homemade Strawberry-Rhubarb jam and whipped cream [no clotted cream in stores and I didn't have time to make my own]).

- Nailed down outline of the Damn Beer Book. All that's needed is to write it now. I predict many pub trips with the 'ol netbook.

- Saw Pacific Rim with a friend. I like getting out now and then.

- We went to dinner before the movie and, according to my friend, the waitress was hitting on me. I never notice such things but it was good to think that, despite the weight gain, I still got it.

- Had the first proper sleep for the first time probably this year. A solid 9 hours that felt longer than it actually was (where you wake up thinking it's time to get up and the clock says you have three hours of sleep left). And wonderful dreams of living in an apartment and some sexy stuff as well which is always a treat.

-Hemorrhaging money thanks to my car's goatfucking coolant system-Had a girl at Walgreens tell me my voice sounded tough yesterday, which was rad--I may never be called handsome, but I'll take tough.-E-cigging after the second Chantix disaster-Have a new tooth (see: hemorrhaging money), going in for a cleaning next week-Got pinched by Johnny Law for speeding, have to go to court--COURT--Monday-Am stressed and in need of drink