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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Bigger Picture

Last year was a strange year. It was a year of firsts for Chris and I--some good and some not so good. It was a year I don't entirely want to put behind me (like 2009), but the difficulties we faced in 2010 created deep bruises that may not heal in the near future. On the upside, we built a home together and learned more about each other than we ever would've in any other circumstances.

My heart is tender for 2011. God has really been speaking to me about the focus of my life. Because of the things we did in 2010, much of my time was spent focusing on my own bruises or successes. It's time to move on.

Clearly, life is not about me. It's about a Creator who sees us through when we don't even think we can breathe. When I sat down to write this, Joseph's words to his brothers came to my mind: "I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don't feel badly, don't blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives" (Genesis 45:4, The Message).

And those are my thoughts for 2010--what may have been considered harm, God means for good. If nothing else, it has made me less self-centered. Last year, I spent a lot of time thinking about myself and my situation. It's made me less materialistic. We are like a vapor, and it's so necessary to focus on the things that matter.

Sure, I still like to hunt for the perfect pieces of furniture for my house (Speaking of, bought an AWESOME credenza online. Solid wood. Looks just like the one I picked out in a furniture store--but was $800 cheaper). I still take "me" time. But I'm trying to be more in tune with others. I'm trying to show up and call just because I know it matters. I'm trying to be a better friend, a better co-worker and a better wife. I'm trying to say thank-you every time and you're welcome when I hear those words myself. I'm trying to hand out more praise--particularly when people have really been putting in an awesome effort. I'm trying to smile more and compliment often.

So far, I haven't lost any weight. This sudden burst of concern for others also hasn't cleared any acne scarring. But my heart is amazingly whole. So I'm going to try to make it overflow.