7 Myths About Sex After 50

You can’t put an age limit on desire.

By Dr. Dorree Lynn

Who says sex stops at midlife? Dr. Dorree Lynn, author of Sex for Grownups, debunks the myths and reveals the lies.

Myth #1: Older women are lousy lovers.?
False! For centuries, older women would initiate young men into the world of sexual pleasures. You have history and experience on your side; you’ve lived long enough to have earned your stature. Hold your head up high and believe in yourself. Think of some of those wonderful role models: Susan Sarandon, Helen Mirran, Meryl Streep, Iman and so many others. Roll like a Role Model and show the word how wonderful it is to be over 50 and how fortunate a woman is to get there.

Myth #2: Older women don’t want sex as much as older men do.
Women just want more talk along with sex. Women love foreplay and feeling desired. If your partner doesn’t "get it" suggest a date night away from the bedroom and gently talk to him (or her) about what you want. Communication is the key. Foreplay starts in the morning with an “ I love you” or a stroke of your hair. Desire can continue at any age.

Myth #3: Older women’s sex drive diminishes more quickly than older men’s.
It’s just more complex. Remember sex is more than penetration. Many women can have multiple orgasms forever. But, cuddling, touching and sharing are all part of sex. If hormone help is needed, there are many traditional and alternative aids. And exercise always helps. Many women say after 50, they know what they want. Therefore, sex can be better than ever.

Myth #4: Older women don’t want oral sex.
Some do, some don’t. If oral sex has never been your thing, you may not want it. On the other hand you may love it. Or, you may want to try it and find out. Sexual preferences are as varied as we are. With added years we can feel free enough to experiment any way we want.

Myth #5: Older women don’t fantasize.
Many women have active fantasy lives. But if you are one of the few who fantasizes about your shopping list while making love, try something or someone sexier. Some studies show that eyes, faces and butts turn on women. Fantasies are normal and a natural way the mind works. Remember, no one can read your mind. And there’s a big difference between thinking something and acting on it.

Myth #6: Older women must have romance to have sex.
That’s false, although many do desire connection. Most women tend to like being wined and dined. But, many women over 50 prefer easy encounters and/or friends with benefits. They like their independence and they like sex. They prefer no muss, no fuss. Women remain as wonderfully complex and different after 50 as they were before.

Myth #7: Older women lose their vaginal sensitivity.
It depends on the woman. While for many hormone changes can cause painful vaginal dryness, this is not always the case. In addition to suggestions listed in #3, remember “use it or lose it is the key.” Vibrators are perfectly acceptable health aids. Menopause does not mean men-o-pause.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is a practicing psychologist and life coach committed to helping people have better relationships and fulfilling sex lives. The founder of the website www.fiftyandfurthermore.com, a forum for age-mates in the second half of their lives, her “On the Couch” segment can be seen on AARPTV’s “My Generation” program. She has appeared on Good Morning America. MSNBC, CNN, Fox News, PBS and VH1.