ZAZ:Unfortunately operating systems these days favor soft reset/shutdown. You have to negotiate with the system to convince it to turn off. Or you have to resort to the 5 second power button press and full power up slowness which the reset chord was meant to avoid.

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floorLonging for the warmth of bedsheets,Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;Having reached the bottom line,I took a floppy from the drawer.Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE commandBut I got a reprimand: it read Abort, Retry, Ignore.Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.Carefully, I weighed my options.These three seemed to be the top ones.Clearly I must now adopt one:Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore.With my fingers pale and trembling,Slowly toward the keyboard bending,Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,Praying for some guaranteeFinally I pressed a key--But on the screen what did I see?Again: Abort, Retry, Ignore.I tried to catch the chips off-guard--I pressed again, but twice as hard.Luck was just not in the cards.I saw what I had seen before.Now I typed in desperationTrying random combinationsStill there came the incantation:Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accostedGetting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.And then I saw an awful sight:A bold and blinding flash of light--A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.I saw the screen collapse and die"Oh no--my database," I criedI thought I heard a voice reply,"You'll see your data Nevermore!"To this day I do not knowThe place to which lost data goesI bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it storedBut as for productivity, wellI fear that IT goes straight to hellAnd that's the tale I have to tellYour choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

What he should do, is invent this one to help out those computer challenged people that can't find it.

And for those that can't remember passwords, just have them set their password to "incorrect", so whenthey forget, they can put in anything, and then the computer will say that "your password is incorrect"and they will know what to use.

If you can understand half the references in this, well, you're an old, old hacker.

1992 Steven Weyhrich(Sung to the tune of "American Pie" by Don McLean)NOTE: To read these lyrics properly, the phrase "Two-E" refers to the "Apple //e" computer. It wouldn't come out sounding right if I'd put "IIe" in it's place; it might be read as "eye-eye-e".

A long, long time ago,I can still remember how those programsUsed to make me smile.And I knew if I had my chance,That I could make those users danceAnd maybe they'd be happy for a while.November breezes made me shiverWith every upload I'd deliverBad news on the desktopI couldn't make the text stop.I can't remember if I criedWhen I read about our faltered prideBut something touched me deep insideThe daythe Two-Edied.So, bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Mountain Dew and sighed,Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."Do you know your Apple's core?Do you have faith in Woz's loreIf the Red Book tells you so?Do you believe in ROR and ROLCan BASIC save your mortal soulAnd can you tell me why Pascal runs so slow?Well, I know you love that Lisa hack'Cause I saw you mousin' in the backWell, MacWrite was big newsBut AppleWorks got great reviews, ooohI was a twenty-something computer fanWith a loaned assembler and some program plansBut I knew I'd be just an "also-ran"The day the Two-E died.I started singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Cola Jolt and sighed,Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."Now for twelve years we've been on our ownThe software comes on my telephoneBut that's not how it used to beWhen ol' Steve Jobs planned a brand new boxWith designs he borrowed from XeroxAnd the cash, well it came from you and meOh, and while our Woz was looking downSteve Jobs stole his designer's crownThe III plan was adjournedNo money was returnedAnd while Wagner wrote "Assembly Lines"We liked our BASIC programs fineAnd most thought ProDOS was divineThe day the Two-E died.We were singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Dr. Pepper and sighed,Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."HUFFIN, PUFFIN, move files with MUFFINSingle drive, lots of disks I'm stuffin'Eight piles high, and fadin' fast...With Macs out landing in the grassThe Pirates tried for a forward passMoving Two-E to the sidelines, in a castNow, the IIc Fair was sweet perfumeAnd "Forever!" was our marching tuneWe all got up to danceOh, but we never got the chance'Cause the Mac-heads tried to take the fieldOur Apple II's refused to yieldDo you recall what was revealedThe day the Two-E died?We started singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Diet Pepsi and sighed,Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."Ohhh, and there we were all in one placeAn online conference lost in spaceWith no bucks left to start againSo come on, Tom be nimble, Tom be quickUncle-DOS made all our Apples tick'Cause Merlin is the hacker's only friendOh, and as I watched him on the stageMy hands were clenched in fists of rageNo one that I could tellCould break that Sculley's spellAnd as the flames climbed high into the nightTo light the sacrificial riteI saw Sculley laughing with delightThe day the Two-E diedHe was singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank lemon tea and sighed,Typin' "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."I met a girl who sang of BluesAnd I asked her for some Apple newsBut she just smiled and turned awayI went to the computer storeWhere I'd seen the Apple years beforeBut the man there said the Two-E couldn't playAnd in the schools the children screamedThe teachers cried and the hackers dreamedBut not a file was openThe disk drives all were brokenAnd the news mags that I'd liked the mostSoftalk, inCider - were all toastThey'd grabbed the last train for the coastThe daythe Two-EdiedAnd they were singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Snapple soda and cried,Saying, "This'll be the day that I die.This'll be the day that I die."They were singin'Bye, bye to my Apple II pieHooked my RamFAST to the SCSIBut the SCSI was friedAnd hackin' boys drank Snapple soda and cried,Saying, "This'll be the day that I die.This'll bethe daythat I die."