RT: The episode's script is credited to "Tha Lonely Donkey Kong & Specialist Contagious," which is what Tom Perrotta and Damon Lindelof got after they fed their names into a Wu-Tang name generator (The Leftovers, S03E02)

"Unlike small town America, Andrew fucks me in a way I really enjoy." (Veep, S06E02)

"And we need to tell them that the Kennedy library is a reference point, 'cause, you know, he was also a part-termer." (Veep, S06E02)

"Find me Mrs. Ryan."
"Okay…"
"Not my mom." (Veep, S06E02)

"That was a long one. She must be at a light." (Veep, S06E02)

"What am I supposed to do? Re-hire Frida Swahlo?" (Veep, S06E02)

"And that Jack Nicholson… Is he vaguely cross-eyed?" (Feud, S01E08)

"What kind of Medieval dental practice extracts six teeth without putting in implants?"
"It's called 'The Buckle.' When you remove the back teeth, your cheeks curve in at a more elegant angle." (Feud, S01E08)

"Amy's friend at HQ heard that maybe the Seven-Four was getting shut down instead."
"There's no way that's true. Amy doesn't have a friend."
"I do so! Although, I only see her at work events, and we only talk through e-mail. Oh God, she's just a colleague." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E15)

"Hey, I know this is just a stolen bike case, but you know what we should do? Stand back-to-back with our guns drawn while we're surrounded by bad guys."
"You know what I call that? The Man Sprinkler!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E15)

"Never vacation in Banff." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E15)

"Silk is for sex workers or musicians." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E15)

"Sexy is finding the thing that you hate most about yourself and then shoving it into somebody else's face until they think that you're okay with it."
"Yeah, like Adrien Brody's noise."
"I don't want Adrien Brody's nose for boobs."
"Yeah, okay, well, I don't want my knees, but that's life." (The Mick, S01E16)

"Booby on the move, coming right your way." (The Mick, S01E16)

"Well, it seems we have a slow news day on our hands. CNN is just playing Death Becomes Her." (Great News, S01E02)

"You don't think J.J. has a right to run away?"
"He has the same rights as anybody else. If he were any other teen, he'd be halfway to Provo by now. […] Provo?"
"Runaway capital of the world." (Speechless, S01E20)

"I want a robe."
"[…] What? Like a lady in a lotion commercial?"
"No, like a boy in repose!" (Speechless, S01E20)

"You can do plenty on your own."
"Oh, really? Name one other person like me who does."
"Oh, please. I can think of someone right off the top of my head."
"Look me in the eye and tell me it's not Wheels from—"
"Yeah, no, it's Wheels from Burger King Kids Club. Okay, fine. Thank you, detective." (Speechless, S01E20)

Rashida Jones playing Tracee Ellis Ross' sister (Black-ish, S03E21)

"Southern Cal is the best school in the country, baby girl! Congratulations!"
"Best school in the country? That's not even the best school in L.A." (Black-ish, S03E22)

"You're thinking about this going to college thing all wrong, son. You've got to make Zoey's education work for you. It's not about where she wants to go; it's about where you want to visit her." (Black-ish, S03E22)

"My girls and I are going to the Midsummer Night's Dream party."
"Stop it. That thing where the freshman girls wander around outside waiting for a senior to date rape them?"
"Waiting for a senior to kiss them. You're confusing it with the Taming of the Shrew party." (Dear White People, S01E04)

"Friends, in American popular culture, many black men seem obsessed with white girls. What is this about?"
"Anal." (Dear White People, S01E05)

"Ikumi, your new catch-all Asian friend." (Dear White People, S01E05)

"You do realize all we do is complain about things. It is as though Americans would have no identity if not for their near-constant outrage. I know so much about what you don't like. What do you all like, eh?" (Dear White People, S01E05)

RT: "Originally, we wanted to do an Anthony Bourdain balloon because of the idea that celebrity chefs had disappeared en masse. We got Bourdain's photo in the pilot, but [when he was approached about Season 3] Bourdain was like, 'No! No Bourdain balloon!'" (The Leftovers, S03E01)

RT: The blood squib when Dean dies is one of the biggest I've seen. (The Leftovers, S03E01)

(Veep, S06E01)

"Without him, we don't have a Chinaman's chance."
"I'm sorry, Ben. Here at Uber and in the rest of the world, the word 'Chinaman' is considered inappropriate."
"No no no, it's okay. My wife is Oriental. All of them have been. I kinda got yellow fev-ah." (Veep, S06E01)

"And that is why I am taking this opportunity to announce my charitable organization, the Meyer Fund for Adult Literacy."
"Certainly a worthwhile cause, but if we could bring it back to Sherman Tanz—"
"And AIDS."
"Wow. AIDS."
"Yes, AIDS. AIDS is a big part of the tapestry." (Veep, S06E01)

"Son of a Sam. Offices in the South Bronx? I'm not the President of the Dominican Republic." (Veep, S06E01)

"The National Association for Transgender People would like to give you an award."
"Oh. Well, that's nice. Tell them I accept. Them?"
"It's 'her.'"
"Her."
"Him."
"Him. I don't know. Tell the bearded ladies I'm coming." (Veep, S06E01)

"What's going on with the speeches?"
"Let's see. We have the National Auto Dealers for $100,000."
"You've gotta be kidding me. That's half of what Hughes gets. That is pure sexism. You call those people back and you tell them that I was the first female President of the United States and I will not work for less than 87 cents on the dollar." (Veep, S06E01)

"I am so sorry to hear about Uber."
"Oh, God, a bunch of dumb-ass millennials, you know, too lazy to learn how to drive drunk." (Veep, S06E01)

"Shlomo Tanz is radioactive. He can read the newspaper on the toilet by the light of his own shit." (Veep, S06E01)

Plastic on hotel beds (Feud, S01E07)

"She's gassing us all with her VapoRub for show." (Feud, S01E07)

"I don't do bitches. They make me so unhappy. You should call my sister." (Feud, S01E07)

"Death isn't about deserving. It's just part of the deal." (Bates Motel, S05E09)

"Cracker Barrel. It always helps to mention Cracker Barrel."
"Well, I think it's great you let Margaret play inside. It's a hot one out there. I was thinking of going over to Cracker Barrel because they've got such great air conditioning." (Better Call Saul, S03E02)

"You sound like you're outdoors. Are you staying out of the sun? It's a hot one today. I'm sorry, but Jimmy is unavailable at the moment. If you'd like to leave a message, Mr. Ehrman…traut? Trout, like the fish? Uh, I hear Cracker Barrel has excellent air— This one really don't wanna talk about Cracker Barrel." (Better Call Saul, S03E02)

"Have you guys had the soup over at Cracker Barrel today?" (Better Call Saul, S03E02)

"Terry puts out." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E14)

"No matter what happens, we'll feel better knowing we didn't resort to blackmail."
"I agree. From now on, the only black male I want anything to do with is you." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E14)

"White people love to shorten their names." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E20)

Helpful Ember-narrated previously-on (The Magicians, S02E13)

"I look like Jack Sparrow if he were played by a man." (The Magicians, S02E13)

"Pull yourself together and go out there and make Teddy feel like he's the most interesting man on Earth. I want him to think he's Andy Borowitz when this is all done." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E13)

(Fresh Off the Boat, S03E19)

♫: Peter Gabriel – "Lay Your Hands on Me" (The Americans, S05E06)

Al Borland (Detroiters, S01E10)

"Rick Mahorn from the Pistons has a car dealership? I did not know that." (Detroiters, S01E10)

"Bicken Bones." (Detroiters, S01E10)

Rick Mahorn acting (Detroiters, S01E10)

Detroiters Season Grade: C+

"There was a great king on Earth who had a philosophy: Hakuna matata." (The Magicians, S02E12)

♫: Migos – "Handsome and Wealthy" (The Magicians, S02E12)

"Welcome to Vancouver" (The Magicians, S02E12)

(Archer, S08E02)

"Honor is very important to my people."
"The Japanese."
"No, pitchers."
[…]
"It's offensive to my people."
"The Japanese."
"No, Free Masons. I am a man who wears many hats." (Brockmire, S01E03)

"Co-exist." (Powerless, S01E08)

"Archie, as my blood brother, it was your sole responsibility to ensure that something like this never happened on my birthday. Now we're here, in the middle of a Seth Rogen movie." (Riverdale, S01E10)

Molly Ringwald (Riverdale, S01E10)

"QR codes are the herpes of mobile technology." (Shark Tank, S08E21)

Pepsi ad director continuity (Saturday Night Live, S42E18)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: LegionStill the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

"I lost the year 1996 to schnapps. I still don't know what the Macarena is." (Bob's Burgers, S07E16)

"It's definitely not a him because it has babies."
"Oh, a gay raccoon can't have babies?"
"Oh, I dunno, I guess he could adopt or have a surrogate." (Bob's Burgers, S07E16)

"It has three black rings on its tail and its ear kinda has a notch in it."
"A gauge? Has that reached the raccoon community?" (Bob's Burgers, S07E16)

"Oh, hey, I got you something too. Turn it upside down. Her clothes come off."
"Wait, why would you think I'd be into this?"
"Oh, I bought a white woman 'cause I just didn't want to assume…" (Making History, S01E05)

♫: "Ants Marching" (Making History, S01E05)

"It appears we're dealing with a deaf, or, like, a Nell." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E14)

"LaFontaines are notorious bullies." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E14)

Hot tub sundae (The Last Man on Earth, S03E14)

"I'm bending over backwards for this kid, pulling out all the stops, but he's just acting like a real LaFontaine." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E14)

The Walking Dead Season Grade: D-

"My Joan is faaar worse than your Joan." (Feud, S01E05)

"Hypocrisy is the tribute vice must pay to virtue." (Feud, S01E05)

"You don't have to use your own dick for dick pics. You just Google 'picture of dick.' Gotta make sure it looks enough like your dick, because you don't want your dick pic to write a check that your real dick can't cash. You want to see the dick I use? It might be able to work for both of us. I have an Indian friend who uses a picture of my actual dick."
"I don't want to use your dick." (Crashing, S01E07)

Miranda Otto outrunning fire (24: Legacy, S01E10)

"I couldn't find your trash bin, so I threw it away in the toilet."
"What'd you throw in the toilet?"
"The, uhh, salami from the fridge."
"What?"
"I didn't flush it, so you're gonna have a bunch of salami floating around in your toilet bowl."
"What?" (New Girl, S06E22)

Five Victoria's Secret Angels will be hosting a private bash, complete with beauty stations. The event is over at 6 p.m., which gives guests plenty of time to hit the Polo Fields for Radiohead's performance.

Pool float maker Funboy, the celeb-favorite brand responsible for the Taylor Swift-approved inflatable swans, has partnered with Smashbox Cosmetics to host a pool party. Funboy has created a special collection of metallic lip floats in honor of Smashbox's new Metallic Lip Glosses.

Galore magazine and dating app Grindr have joined forces to bring festival goers Queens of the Desert, a daytime party with DJ sets by actress Taryn Manning (Orange Is the New Black) and Kylie Jenner's BFF Jordyn Woods.

Once again, Revolve will host the #RevolveFestival, a day party filled with brand activations, special guests and performances.

Dating and "social discovery" app Bumble has tapped Kendall and Kylie Jenner as the hosts of its Winter Bumbleland event. The two-day soiree is "Aspen Chic meets Desert Heat"-themed, complete with an ice bar, a glacier pool, a snow angel garden and winter tubing.

The American Express Platinum House will feature all the comforts of L.A. (think: Soul Cycle classes taught by founding senior instructor Stacey Griffith).

Day two of The Hyde Away will feature poolside DJ sets from Joe Jonas and Giorgio Moroder as well as food by Umami Burger.

Katy Perry is hosting an Easter Day "recovery" brunch complete with vitamin elixirs, an oxygen bar and reflexology massages. The Katy Perry Footwear collection will be on display, and Cover Girl will host an Easter egg hunt set to the tune of DJ sets by Mia Moretti and Balthazar Getty.

CannaSpa at Coachella, Cannabis & Culinary's wellness and lifestyle event which promotes cannabis-infused foods and services like yoga and art, is bringing Chef for Higher for a "dope" four-course dinner party.