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Saturday, December 3, 2011

Mary-Mary, Damn Ugly and 9

Today I am going to my second once in a life-time opportunity to work with Mary Jarvis of Bikram Yoga fame. Almost two years ago I attended a MJ (not the crooner whom we know I love) workshop in Annapolis, MD.

One of my favorite quotes from that day was:

"It smells like a cat box in here (the 107 degree room) because we expect you to leave your shit in it."

I can't wait for today's pearls of wisdom which I will surely share. Here's my new outfit for the occasion.:

I don't love it. I am usually very choosy about my yoga threads but this was at Dick's, on sale and I was in a hurry. I don't know why I care because we will be sandwiched in a room with inches between mats and dodging body parts as we move through poses. It will be fun and rigorous and entertaining and life-change like Mary #1 in Maryland. But it won't be pretty.

Me: (sympathetic and so sorry she knows not what I see in her) Honey, I can't talk you out of this feeling. It's normal at your age to have your groove on one day and then feel ugly the next. One day you'll feel more balanced but you always need to feel pretty inside and out.

Kathleen: But I'm not.

Me: (trying to convince her otherwise) Oh, honey. Yes you are. You have no idea. It's normal to feel awkward sometimes at your age but don't let this feeling get out of hand. Let's keep talking about it when it comes over you. Just have faith in all your gifts inside and out.

Kathleen: But I'm not pretty.

Me: (Getting impatient) Remember that time Bridget's Mom said you had this intense beauty that she couldn't describe? She's not even related and said that out of the blue.

Kathleen: Kinda. But why am I ugly?

Me: (Done.) FOR GOD'S SAKE CHILD... LOOK IN THE MIRROR, THERE ARE SOME DAMN UGLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND YOU AREN'T ONE OF THEM.

Now that's a pearl of wisdom. What a good mother I am.

And now for 9. I don't feel pretty either because 9 is the number of pounds I have gained since my last Mary Jarvis workshop. Not a good thing for someone with a lifelong body image problem. No matter what people say I feel damn ugly lugging that 9 around. I know how my daughter feels...

My lesson: Find your own sweet spot of gratitude and confidence, be patient and only listen to other people with it uplifts you. Otherwise it belongs in the cat box located in the hot room where I am shortly headed.

3 comments:

Aw...hate to hear about any girl feeling that way. I hope you were able to get through to her, even if only a bit. And YOU look strong, so don't sweat that nine! (although at Bikram, that's part of the deal, isn't it?)

I am attempting to leave a comment once again, you will know it worked if you are actually able to read this : )I love you with 9, 20 or an extra 100 pounds. You are beautiful inside and out just like Kathleen. Enjoy your day at Bikram. I will be over at the other hot room today.

How long have you been doing yoga? It's good that you do this regularly to take care of your skin. Yoga has many benefits on our skin. It helps stimulate blood circulation, and reduces stress and tension, which are the common reasons why skin dries or becomes unhealthy.