Germans were shocked upon learning today that Russia is trying to destabilize German society with propaganda and cyber attacks ahead of next year’s general election, many fearing that the unwanted foreign competition could stifle their own government’s efforts to do the same.

“The Russians should mind their own damned business and concentrate on destabilizing their own society,” one irate commentator said. “We have the will, the means, the experience and the elected and non-elected officials to do so on our own, thank you. And we’re talking ‘made in Germany’ quality here, people. So go take a flying leap at a rolling pirozhki already.”

The warning was the bluntest public claim yet from Germany’s BfV agency about Moscow’s alleged campaign of disinformation and hacking targeting Europe’s biggest economy.

I love Conan O’Brien. But I have to agree with this article here that his show didn’t seem to get much right during his trip to Berlin (to be aired tonight). When it comes to Berlin, I mean.

The US comedian came to Berlin in the summer to shoot material for an on-the-road version of his show. Word has it he visited some of the capital’s grungier clubs and generally took in the city’s alternative scene. So why to God does the teaser to his show involve him dancing in lederhosen to the music of a moustachioed accordion player? It is about as accurate as a German going to Honolulu and filming himself line dancing in cowboy garb.

“Me going to a dominatrix seemed like it would be compelling. And it turned out to be even more compelling because she didn’t treat it like a joke! She wanted to put things inside of me and do things to me, and I kept trying to stop her but keep it on the line where it would still be comedic but not break my marital vows.”

Speaking of Sozis… Failing to lead from the front, Martin Shulz is now hightailing it out of the shambles he helped create in Brussels and will now lead from behind in Berlin. Or maybe he won’t. Nobody who has ever paid any attention to this guy seems to particularly care.

This guy has never accomplished anything but spend a whole lot of time on any German political talk show you can think of being THE expert on any “European” subject you can think of talking about. He helped a lot with Greece (not). He stopped Brexit from happening (not), he helped solve Europe’s refugee crisis and its deficit spending crisis and on an on and on (lots more nots here). He lectured US-Amerika right and left (mostly right) about all those things Europeans lecture US-Amerika about. He did that particularly well, I must say, but he’s just one of legion in that department so who needs him? In other words, he was the perfect non-elected European bureaucrat boss-type and he will be sorely missed until his replacement non-elected European bureaucrat boss-type is crowned by whoever it is who crowns them – so he/she can then carry on where Schulz left off. Accomplishing nothing. But with style.

The long-serving parliament boss will stand as an MP for his Social Democratic party in North Rhine-Westphalia, opening the door for a potential run at the German chancellorship in elections next year. Speaking to reporters on Thursday morning, an emotional Mr Schulz said: “It was not an easy decision.”

No Plan B, no competitors in sight (who she hasn’t already crushed politically, I mean) and in power since 1953, Chancellor Angela Merkel will hold a news conference this weekend during which she will announce whether she will run for another term as chancellor or not. Or for Mutti, if you prefer. Many smart politico types here think that the chances are relatively high that this might just maybe be the case.

The crowd of expats who packed the Democrats Abroad election night party in Berlin to watch live election coverage by American broadcaster CNN was conspicuously young and conspicuously female. There had been much talk about apathy among so-called millennials in this campaign, but you wouldn’t have known that in the German capital…

Of course that was then and this is now.

“I’m in too much of an emotional state,” said expat Democrat X, when asked what she thought about the new President-elect. “No comment. But wait. I will say that you can bet we will bounce back from this and be just as self-righteous, priggish and self-satisfied as we ever have been. Mabe even more so. But just not right now, OK?”

That means Liebling (favorite, darling). You know, like Liebling Kreuzberg? That was one of my Liebling TV shows I used to watch way back when in a place they used to call “West Berlin.”

Manfred Krug, Mr. lawyer Liebling himself, passed away today. An interesting character, somehow managing to be successful and remain popular on both sides of what they used to call “the Berlin Wall.” Rest in peace.

The state is that great fiction by which everyone tries to live at the expense of everyone else.
- Frederic Bastiat

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.
- Margaret Thatcher

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed — and hence clamorous to be led to safety — by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
- H.L. Mencken

It is like information theory; it is noise posing as signal so you do not even recognize it as noise. The intelligence agencies call it disinformation. If you can float enough disinformation into circulation you will totally abolish everyone's contact with reality, probably your own included.
- Philip K. Dick

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
- Henry Kissinger

Hegel, installed from above, by the powers that be, as the certified Great Philosopher, was a flat-headed, insipid, nauseating, illiterate charlatan, who reached the pinnacle of audacity in scribbling together and dishing up the craziest mystifying nonsense. This nonsense has been noisily proclaimed as immortal wisdom by mercenary followers and readily accepted as such by all fools, who joined into as perfect a chorus of admiration as had ever been heard before. The extensive field of spiritual influence with which Hegel was furnished by those in power has enabled him to achieve the intellectual corruption of a whole generation.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

German schadenfreude knows no bounds, particularly when it comes to the United States. The country loves to feel superior to a superpower like America. Yet Germany also harbors a childish infatuation with Obama — one which has little political grounding. The reasons are psychological. …The criticism of America has always been a bit infantile. One is familiar with the theory from psychoanalysis, when people talk about transference, or when suppressed feelings or emotions are overcome by projecting them onto others. It may work for a while, improving one’s feeling of self-worth by devaluing an imagined adversary. But it always falls short. Which is why the ritual must be constantly carried out anew.
- Jan Fleischhauer

Intellectuals, in the words of the writer Eric Hoffer, "cannot operate at room temperature." They are excited by daring opinions, clever theories, sweeping ideologies, and utopian visions of the kind that caused so much trouble during the 20th century. The kind of reason that expands moral sensibilities comes not from grand intellectual "systems" but from the exercise of logic, clarity, objectivity, and proportionality.
- Steven Pinker

The difference between Greek pessimism and the oriental and modern variety is that the Greeks had not made the discovery that the pathetic mood may be idealized, and figure as a higher form of sensibility. Their spirit was still too essentially masculine for pessimism to be elaborated or lengthily dwelt on in their classic literature... The discovery that the enduring emphasis, so far as this world goes, may be laid on its pain and failure, was reserved for races more complex, and (so to speak) more feminine than the Hellenes had attained to being in the classic period.
- William James

A doctrine must not be understood, but has rather to be believed in. We can be absolutely certain only about things we do not understand. A doctrine that is understood is shorn of its strength. Once we understand a thing, it is as if it had originated in us. And, clearly, those who are asked to renounce the self and sacrifice it cannot see eternal certitude in anything which originates in that self.
- Eric Hoffer

It is unrealistic to expect people to see you as you see yourself. If people reach conclusions based on false impressions, they are the ones hurt rather than you, because it is they who are misguided. When someone interprets a true proposition as a false one, the proposition itself isn't hurt; only the person who holds the wrong view is deceived, and thus damaged. Once you clearly understand this, you will be less likely to feel affronted by others, even if they revile you. You can say to yourself, "It seemed so to that person, but that is only his impression."

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