Madfish Willie's Costume Contest & Clusterfuck

It was a dark and stormy night…Well, it was nighttime, and the rain was pouring down on our heads like a cow peeing on a flat rock. Lightning bolts blasting through the black night followed closely by the thunderous booms of the cracked sound barrier. It was a great night for a Halloween Party at Madfish Willie's. The whole gang was coming down - the Corner of the Bar Gang, the Corner of the Bar Babes, all the Munuvians and various other assorted fruitcakes, kooks, and freaks of nature. After all, the Madfish Willie's Halloween Party, Costume Contest, and Clusterfuck was the biggest party of the year - even bigger than New Years Eve.

Harvey and Blackfive were the first to arrive. I almost didn't recognise them, except I could always tell Harvey by his big ole clown feet. He wore the big red clown shoes all year round - and he was always tripping and falling down and shit. Harvey was dressed as the Scarecrow with straw coming out of his shirt sleeves and pant legs a hollowed out pumpkin on his head. [He really needs a heart, too]

"Dam, Harvey doesnt that smell like shit after a while?" Blackfive asked.

Blackfive was a Rodeo Clown. The whole clown face thing and a polka dot long sleeved shirt, and blue long johns under a pair of big old baggy knee length shorts, held up by red suspenders. He was wearing an old beat up crushed straw cowboy hat to top it off.

Next to arrive was Finn the Viking who was dressed as… you guessed it, a Viking Warrior. He was wearing one of those Viking helmets with the big horns sticking out the sides like you see at the football games. Long, flowing blonde hair and carrying a giant norse broadsword. Heavy animal skins draped his massive shoulders. He was accompanied by his beautiful and scantily clad red-haired wench, Linda.

Following them into the party were a bunch of bloggers in their great, costumed characters:

Susie - An old time Barmaid with short skirt, fishnet stockings, and a frilly low, low-cut blouse;

Helen - I Dream of Jeanie with the veil and that sexy little see through jeanie outfit;

Kate - Playboy Bunny with the bunny ears and those big hooters not quite completely stuffed into the push up thingy they wear and poking everybody in the eye who walked by

Serenity - Lela from Futurama with one big eye in the middle (I don’t how she saw where the hell she was going all night), black boots, and wrist thingy she kept hitting everyone with;

Frank J - came as a Fucking Hippy with tie-died shirt with a peace sign on the front, matching head scarf, tattered dirty jeans with holes in the ass and half torn off patches on the knees, dark aviator sunglasses and a goddamn white daisy flower in his filthy fucking hair – and boy did he stink!;

SilverBlue - the Red Skelton Hobo with really heavy make-up – he maybe went a little overboard on that - but he smelled like booze and vomit, real nasty, and had bags under his bloodshot eyes;

Lord Spatula I - Bad Ass Biker Dude in boots, chains, no shirt, black leather vest and chaps, or maybe he was some type of S&M guy, who knows;

Tuning Spork - He didn’t have a name for his costume. He wore what looked like a commode made of Styrofoam with the lid up. It had the tank on the back, with a roll of toilet paper on a roller on the side of the tank, a vase of flowers and a newspaper on the top of the tank with his head sticking out the center of the bowl! We didn’t know what to call him, so we named him Shithead!

Stevie - Father Guido Sarducci with black robe, white priest collar, across hanging from his neck and a black short-brimmed hat. And a King James Version Holy Bible.

Cherry - French Maid with short black skirt, black blouse with plunging, and I do mean plunging neckline and little white apron, thigh high black hose with the line up the back and 4” black come fuck me pumps;

Well we were partying our ass off and drinking way too much, especially Blackfive who keeps ordering 6 beers at a time. Damn, how the fuck can he keep drinking like that and still stand up? Lots o’ practice… I guess.

About midnight, we ran our costume contest. We turned up the house lights, and turned off the house music. Everyone in costume gets on the dance floor and walks around in a circle while the judges select the best contestants for a yell-off to determine the winner of the $500.00 cash prize! We play all the cool Halloween tunes like Monster Mash, Thriller, and the rest of kind of crap. Then, we picked what we thought were the best costumes and actors playing the part.

The judges picking the Best Costumes were Harvey, Blackfive, Misha (because nobody's gonna give him any shit if they don't like our choices), and me, Madfsih Willie (shit I goota learnd how spill me name wright).

We cleared the dance floor of the other contestants and bought them each a beer. Then as we called each finalist out the crowd cheered for their favorite costume. Each blogger stepped forward to thunderous appluse and great shouting. When each contestant stepped forward, the cheers just got louder and louder. Back and forth and back and forth.

It was such a close vote that we couldn't decide! And we gotta give the prizes away! What to do?

I'm gonna give you the chance to tell me who should win the costume contest. Vote in the poll in my sidebar until Monday night. Tuesday morning we'll announce the winner!