Blurb: This is what happens when you stay up all night on the Internet. You write dumb stories that go no where. (Also described as Jake spends a bit of time online which eventually has him and Chance in uniform going off to fight for the end of chain letters. ?

Jake : (stares at the screen) huh? (scrolls down and reads aloud) “Scroll down and make a wish” (scroll) “did you make a wish?” (scroll) “hurry up!” (scroll) “now send this to 35 people in 5 minutes. 10 – you will get a call from your crush, 20 – your crush will ask you out, 30-35 – you and your crush will share a night of passion” WHAT! (Jake blushes hard)

Chance: Send it! and send three copies to me! (stupid grin)

Jake: Don’t be an idiot! I’m not doing it (goes to hit delete)

Chance: Wait a sec buddy (reads) “if you don’t send this or if you delete it a fleet of gay pirates accompanied by Ronald KatDonald will come to your house and throw explosive clowns at your fish and let guinea pigs run loose in your jet engines.”

Both: (scream like cheerleaders and pop into every chat room to get names)

Jake: (pants, sends out the e-mail) That was too close, buddy….

Chance: (whew’s, swipes a paw across his forehead) Yeah I don’t ever want to see – (is interrupted by the sound of ‘new mail’) …..Jake?

Jake: (reads aloud) “If you don’t sssend this out to anyone, then MegaKat C-ssity will be mutated by hideoussss ooz-ssse! ssssssigned, Dr. Viper.”

Chance: (sigh of relief) That’s not much. We’ve handled it before. Just delete it and let’s go watch “Hard Shell 4” on cable.

Jake: (continues) “P.Sssss. And then I’ll make a planter out of the SsssWAT Kat’sss jet. You have five minutesss to ssend thisss.” (Jake hears a loud “thump” behind him, half turns) Chance???

Chance: (is out cold, sprawled on the floor)

Jake: (turns back to the computer and starts retyping the list of names he used for the previous e-mail. Sends out the mail and reaches over to awaken his partner) Chance wake up! (ponders) I’ll kiss you.

Chance : BLAHH!! I’M UP!….you keep you lips to yourself.

Jake: (laughs) Nooo problem. you’re not even my type.

Chance: Well, what’s that supposed to mean? (gets up and rubs his head)

Jake: It means your butt is too fat.

Chance: What!?! Why you – ….(kinda hurt) really?

Jake: (typing) Well you do bump into a lotta things.

Chance: (shrugs) Eh. That just leaves more for Callie to grab on to.

Jake: (spits out his soda) What the hell?!?

Chance: (laughs) Got ya!

Jake: Not you, dummy, the screen!

Chance: (looks at the screen. reads) “Wanna see my pic? click here -> (Chance does so and screams. sees a nekkid picture of Molly Metallikat wiggling her boobs and her butt at the viewer) Dear God in Heaven!!!

Jake: It’s the Anti-Christ!

Both: AHHHHHHHHH! (two thumps on the floor this time. the animated Molly gif keeps jiggling and writhing as the e-mail also downloads a midi of the famous song “The Stripper”. The midi starts playing. Luckily our heroes are out cold.)

Jake: (yelps, jerks awake) Aaaw Chance! It’s going to take me at least three showers to get this crud off me!

Chance: (ignores his friend) Can you send a virus?

Jake: (sniffs disdainfully) Any hacker worth his modem can do it. (sits at the computer chair, trashes the animated gif, begins typing) I’ll send them my MegaVirus. (his grin is quite goulish in the computer glow)

Chance: (smirks) Can you trace the source?

Jake: (typing sounds) Yeah, gimmie a second…. (a few moments pass with the only sounds being Jake’s typing and the two off-duty SWAT Kat’s breathing) Hey! All these e-mail addresses are fronts! It’s only coming from one source!

Chance: (excitedly) You got a lock on ‘im, buddy?

Jake: (furious typing sounds) Yeah…. Bingo! C’mon, grab up your suit, a Glove-a-trix and the Cyclotron, I’ll be there in a second!

Chance: Roger. (dashes off to the hangar)

Jake: (prints out an address, snatches the piece of paper and runs off behind his partner)

_____

Scene: Bedroom, obviously female. Sounds of two females giggling is heard. Then a harsh curse.

Computer: (Screen flickers and changes to blue, then back to red, blue, red, blue… voice from the speakers) Bingo! Thanks for downloading the MegaVirus! I’ll just be deleting everything on your Hard Drive now! Enjoy my little animation, won’t you?

Female 1: Does that voice sound familiar to you…?

Female 2: ….Yeah….Holy Crud! ::points at the screen::

Computer: (picture of Dark Kat doing the macarena)

Female 1: That’s sick!

Female 2: I think I’m going to be…. (interrupted by sounds of the front door being kicked in) Wha-?!?! (Jumps out of her chair, grasping a gun and aiming at the door) Get dow- (bedroom door bursts open)

Computer: (Digital Razor winks at the viewer) Bingo! You’ve deleted the virus! Restoring files. (Razor picks up Callie and carries her off-screen, screen blinks red/blue/red/blue, then there is a microwave “ding!” sound and the screen returns to the internet mailbox)