Okay, I’m a pretty shy person, so I obviously don’t get out much or really even talk to anyone. I’ve had a few friends over the years (I guess I should mention that I’m a sophomore in high school) but they’ve never really been that close to me, so I don’t really have any experience with people in general. And, unsurprisingly, I don’t have any experience with guys either. I’m sure you see where this is going…

The only guy friends I’ve ever had (until now) was early in elementary school, and those friendships didn’t go much past playing tag and climbing on the monkey bars together. So I was really surprised when, out of the blue, this guy and his girl friend (they really are just friends, as far as I can tell) came to sit with me at my table (I was the only one sitting there). This was about two weeks into the new school year. I had seen him before (I had a few classes with him the previous year) so he wasn’t a total stranger, but we never (EVER) talked. … So, there they were. And they started talking to me, albeit awkwardly. It was just really strange for me, and I didn’t know what to say back to them (so, I was the one making it awkward).

Over the next few weeks, we (mostly just me and the guy) talked a bit each day. (He shares two classes and lunch with me.) We became friends on myspace and we left pretty substantial comments for each other about every other day. (we talk more in person than online now).

Now, I’m completely torn (into little bits, actually). First off, half of me is screaming at me saying that he’s making a move on me. But the other half is telling me that I’m just overreacting and that he’s just being nice. Second, even if he does like me, I don’t know if I like him. I mean, I really think he has the potential to be one of my best friends, but I don’t know if I could handle anything more than friends (I’ve never really thought about actually getting into a relationship until college, yes, I know, I’m a total geek!). And to be honest, I’m still grappling with the idea that anyone would actually want to talk to me. Even as friends, I don’t really know how to act around him. I really don’t ever talk to people. I’m just running in circles with this.

Maybe he likes me, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe I like him, maybe I don’t. He wants to talk to me, but I don’t know how. I want to figure this out, but I don’t want to tell him or my friend what I’m thinking. I want to be friends, but I want see where this could go. And sometimes, I want to kiss him right there to get it over with, but other times I want to punch him in the face for forcing his way into my life and confusing me so much.

Help!

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Ashley says…

You’re getting yourself worked up over a guy who clearly likes you but is not confident enough in himself (like most people his age) to make it clear.

Imagine if he’d written us and said, “sometimes I want to kiss her and sometimes I just want to punch her.” Don’t do either. Instead, start taking responsibility for how you act and who you let in your life.

If you want to be friends, be friends. If you want to wait until college to date, good for you.

Figure out what you want before you make yourself feel anxious trying to figure out what he wants.

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The Mookychick website and community was born in 2005 to be an alternative feminist haven of inclusivity and joy. Mookychick is more than the sum of its parts. All our members actively help each other - and you won't find a wittier, thinkier or kinder bunch anywhere.