Fanny's First Play eBook

GILBEY. [beside himself, rising] Wheres the police?
Wheres the Government? Wheres the Church?
Wheres respectability and right reason? Whats
the good of them if I have to stand here and see you
put my son in your pocket as if he was a chattel slave,
and you hardly out of gaol as a common drunk and disorderly?
Whats the world coming to?

DORA. It is a lottery, isnt it, old dear?

Mr Gilbey rushes from the room, distracted.

MRS GILBEY. [unruffled] Where did you buy that white
lace? I want some to match a collaret of my
own; and I cant get it at Perry and John’s.

DORA. Knagg and Pantle’s: one and
fourpence. It’s machine hand-made.

MRS GILBEY. I never give more than one and tuppence.
But I suppose youre extravagant by nature.
My sister Martha was just like that. Pay anything
she was asked.

DORA. Whats tuppence to you, Mrs Bobby, after
all?

MRS GILBEY. [correcting her] Mrs Gilbey.

DORA. Of course, Mrs Gilbey. I am silly.

MRS GILBEY. Bobby must have looked funny in
your hat. Why did you change hats with him?

DORA. I dont know. One does, you know.

MRS GILBEY. I never did. The things people
do! I cant understand them. Bobby never
told me he was keeping company with you. His
own mother!

DORA. [overcome] Excuse me: I cant help smiling.

Juggins enters.

JUGGINS. Mr Gilbey has gone to Wormwood Scrubbs,
madam.

MRS GILBEY. Have you ever been in a police court,
Juggins?

JUGGINS. Yes, madam.

MRS GILBEY [rather shocked] I hope you had not been
exceeding,
Juggins.

JUGGINS. Yes, madam, I had. I exceeded
the legal limit.

MRS GILBEY. Oh, that! Why do they give
a woman a fortnight for wearing a man’s hat,
and a man a month for wearing hers?