Recently a good friend of mine sent me an email discussing some things she has learned in therapy. I was so impressed by the email and what she had to say that I asked her if I could share it on my blog. I felt it was a good read for anyone. So with her permission, I share:

About a year and a half ago I was able to find a wonderful therapist that has helped me work through some issues that I have carried with me for many years. Some issues for a lot longer than I even realized.

I had not realized how many of the communication dynamics had affected me and how I was still allowing them to do so. I have suffered through very deep depressions, suicidal actions/tendencies, physical/mental/emotional abuses, self-loathing, total lack of confidence….etc., etc., etc. I can be honest with you all because you have been there with me either through it or during the direct responses to it and I can honestly say that without the help/support and love of most of you I would not be where and who I am today. Literally.

So now the good part. J I’ve learned that what has happened before can’t be undone. Whether the relationship has been friendship or family - I can’t change how they have treated me and I cannot change what my response to it was. Then.

Lessons I’ve learned are these….

I have a responsibility to treat those that I choose to have in my life with respect, love and caring and just as importantly I have a responsibility to make sure that I am receiving the same from them. We are all worth it and worthy of it.

It’s okay to surround yourself with people who love you and care for you as you are.

It’s okay to expect to be treated well by people.

There is never a need to “buy” someone’s love and/or acceptance.

If someone continually puts you and/or your feelings last on their list or nowhere on their list it’s okay to take that as an indicator of where you rate with them and to more forward accordingly.

Most importantly I’ve learned that I’m a good person. I’m not perfect but I’m a good person. I am special in my own way just as we all are. Not everyone will like or love me but I don’t need them to.