Prospectus Hit List for June 6

Hit List for June 5
Hit List for June 7After six straight months of using this platform to poke fun at all 30 teams, I thought we could end on a high note. From the Dodgers to the Tigers, here's what every team has to look forward to in 2018. Thanks for reading, friends. It's been a blast. See you next year.

Hit List updates were published Monday and Thursday through the 2017 season. Data is based on games through the day prior to publication.Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

29

28

29.7

30.1

29.8

.520

.540

7.9%

50.0%

57.9%

3.5%

6.7%

After two more hits Tuesday, Albert Pujols' OPS has now crossed the .700 barrier, or as I like to refer to it, the T-hole line, named after Josh Thole.

2

31

24

28.7

27.9

28.9

.529

.549

21.7%

33.5%

55.1%

-0.4%

-5.9%

Looking at the Rays lineup makes me wonder, "Is this some sort of sick joke?" Then I look at their AL-leading 3.45 ERA and I remember, nope. Not at all.

3

30

25

30.4

28.8

28.8

.536

.516

34.6%

31.9%

66.5%

3.1%

5.1%

The best thing about Dan Uggla's 11 total bases -- two homers a double, and a single -- is that none of them set off Miami's giant demon machine.

4

28

27

29.4

29.4

29.4

.529

.548

19.7%

27.2%

46.9%

-0.4%

-5.1%

It's not often that you pull one over on the Rangers, but the Red Sox did just that when they got Jarrod Saltalamacchia (.279/.325/.593) from Texas for a used mousetrap and a Best of Charles In Charge DVD.

5

31

25

28.7

30.5

29.9

.536

.516

33.9%

24.8%

58.7%

0.4%

9.8%

30

24

30.1

29.9

29.5

.554

.573

53.5%

24.8%

78.3%

-0.8%

8.3%

Andy Pettitte has a 2.78 ERA and 32 strikeouts in 35 2/3 innings after not pitching for a season. Pitchers who take a season off don't usually pitch well upon return. Therefore, Andy Pettitte is a zombie cyborg. Aristotelian logic.

7

31

24

26.8

28.1

28.0

.518

.498

35.8%

22.8%

58.7%

1.6%

11.4%

The Marlins have given up fewer homers than any team in baseball, 31, which is fewest than half what the Phillies have given up and about what the Twins give up over a long weekend.

.592

.572

18.5%

21.3%

39.8%

0.8%

-6.3%

30

24

28.9

26.3

26.4

.517

.497

42.9%

18.1%

61.0%

-6.3%

-8.7%

Zack Cozart is a member in good standing of the sub-.300-OBP club, which includes such benefits as free coffee, wi-fi, and opportunity to hit leadoff.

10

35

21

32.0

33.5

32.9

.596

.576

56.3%

18.1%

74.4%

9.1%

-2.8%

The Dodgers are 21-9 at home, which is both the most wins and fewest losses of any team at their home park.

11

29

25

24.7

27.1

27.3

.501

.521

23.2%

17.3%

40.6%

7.5%

-7.1%

Hey everyone! Ubaldo Jimenez wasn't awful! Party at my place!

12

28

28

32.8

34.0

32.7

.569

.550

44.9%

16.9%

61.8%

3.5%

-16.1%

The Cardinals have outscored their opposition by 47 runs. The team directly ahead of St. Louis in the standings, Pittsburgh, has been outscored by 22 runs. This makes sense if you close your eyes and hit yourself in the head with a brick.

13

26

30

27.0

28.5

28.8

.493

.473

9.8%

13.4%

23.2%

3.5%

7.1%

There's something bothersome about having the name "D-Backs" on the team's uniforms. Is Diamondbacks too long? If so, why'd you make that the team's name?

14

24

31

24.3

24.5

24.2

.441

.421

10.2%

12.2%

22.4%

-5.5%

2.4%

Against the Cubs pitching staff, the Brewers put the ball in play 28 times and got five hits. That's a .179 team batting average which wouldn't be so bad if the Brewers weren't a professional baseball team.

15

31

24

31.2

32.7

32.7

.580

.600

62.2%

11.0%

73.2%

-4.7%

10.6%

Adam Dunn's turnaround from worst hitter in baseball back to 40-homer powerhouse is remarkable. Expect Kenny Williams to trade him any day.

16

25

30

25.8

25.8

26.1

.467

.487

14.6%

11.0%

25.6%

-5.5%

-7.9%

The Tigers are 25-30. If you subtract the games they've played against last place Boston, Minnesota, and Oakland, they're 16-23, which, uh, is actually worse. Where was this going? Never mind.

17

31

24

27.7

27.7

28.5

.522

.542

3.5%

10.6%

14.2%

2.0%

-0.4%

Orioles bullpen ERAs from 2008 to the present: 4.57, 4.83, 4.44, 4.18, 2.50. If at first you don't succeed, just wait five years.

18

28

29

29.1

29.6

29.4

.509

.489

4.7%

10.6%

15.4%

-6.7%

-9.1%

Pitcher wins are the best way to judge pitchers because Cliff Lee is 0-3 in nine starts and as we all know Cliff Lee is terrible because he's 0-3 in nine starts. See? Case closed!

19

29

26

30.1

27.9

28.4

.525

.545

1.6%

7.5%

9.1%

-3.9%

0.8%

The Blue Jays are 9-3 against the AL Central, likely out of jealousy.

20

31

25

27.2

27.0

27.1

.501

.481

6.3%

6.3%

12.6%

-3.9%

3.5%

Per a previous agreement, Chris Young gave up six hits last night so Johan Santana gets to club him six times in the elbow with a shovel.

21

33

23

35.0

37.5

36.9

.635

.654

92.1%

4.7%

96.9%

0.8%

-2.0%

Four American League teams have winning records against the East. Three of them are in the East. The other is the Rangers, who have now successfully avoided another Ron Washington spanking.

22

28

26

24.2

22.7

22.9

.453

.433

2.0%

2.4%

4.3%

2.0%

3.5%

The Pirates scoring eight runs is like a toddler using the potty on their own for the first time. So I just want to say good going, Pirates! Nice job! Good Pirates!

23

24

30

24.5

24.3

24.4

.450

.470

0.0%

1.2%

1.2%

1.2%

1.2%

When the Royals meet the Twins you know it's going to be an eye-gouger. That's what makes it surprising that 23,934 came to Kaufman Stadium for spork night.

24

25

33

28.6

26.4

26.6

.459

.479

0.0%

0.8%

0.8%

0.8%

0.4%

How is it that Justin Smoak has 10 homers and only a .400 slugging percentage? He has three doubles and no triples this season.

25

24

31

26.1

22.5

21.9

.429

.410

0.0%

0.8%

0.8%

-2.0%

0.0%

The Rockies have the most extra-base hits in baseball, which tells us the humidor isn't working. Time to go the other direction. The Rockies need to buy a juicer, or a French press. Or maybe I'm just thirsty.

26

24

32

24.6

21.4

21.9

.410

.430

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.0%

0.4%

A's catchers are un-hitting .195/.250/.246. You can't call that hitting. You just can't.

27

19

36

22.9

23.5

23.9

.406

.387

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.4%

0.4%

The Cubs' largest margin of victory of the year, 10-0 over the Brewers, was overshadowed by the Braves winning 11-0. Oh, and the Diamondbacks won 10-0 too.

Per your Arizona comment. Last week I was ranting at my girlfriend about the D-backs when she inquired as to what they'd done that I should refer to an entire team as such. To which I responded "Huh?" To which she responded "D-bags. Why are you calling them all douchebags?!" True story.

If I could use photoshop I would join the likely legions of people who have made that uniform alteration, but sadly, I can't. Also, sadly for my sense of humor and your reading pleasure, I still find it funny. For that, I'm sorry. He he he...

Know what's weird? Here at the Hit List our numbers aren't showing. What an egalitarian place this is!

If Kenny Williams can sell Adam Dunn before trade deadline and get considerable prospects in return, it would actually be really non-Kenny Williams. I expect him trade for this year by mortgage the future.

This is one of my favorite BP features, truly it is, but what in heck is an "eye-gauger"? Do the teams sit around before the game and assess each other's visual acuity? (That would make for an interesting wrestling bout, too.)