Does This Win the Award for ‘Slow News Day Story of the Summer’?

A woman found a garter snake in her car. The end.

Breaking news just in from the Boston Globe: a woman found a garter snake in her car while driving on I-495, and then … well that’s really it. In fairness, the garter snake slithered across her lap, which is pretty horrifying. Hm? No, no, she didn’t crash, thank goodness:

The woman was driving southbound in her PT Cruiser when she felt the garter snake on her lap. She immediately pulled over and called her husband, said Trooper Todd Nolan, a State Police spokesman.

Hm? Oh, well, no, it’s not like there’s some snake infestation in the PT Cruiser plant that would suggest others might have this happen to them in great number:

Nolan said it wasnâ€™t clear how the snake got in the car.

What? No, of course she wasn’t hurt. It’s a garter snake. (Fun fact: the garter snake is the Massachusetts state reptile, and yes, that is an actual thing that someone selecdted. And not, like, in the 19th century. We picked a state reptile in 2007.):

The woman was not injured, Nolan said.

Yeah, no, I guess it isn’t clear why State Police got involved in this incident:

Her husband called State Police who arrived on the scene but could not find the snake. Westborough animal control responded; they were also unsuccessful in locating the reptile, Nolan said.

You guess you’d have trouble driving that car with a sound mind ever again? Yeah, she felt that way, too:

The woman called AAA to tow her car home so she and her husband could search for the snake more extensively, Nolan said.

Okay, yes, so this is technically more of a “sorta crazy thing that happened to me today that I’m going to chat about with my friends next time I see them” than a “news story.” But snakes are scary, and this one is at large. That’s what makes it a great slow news day story. Also, it’s the middle of August, and the internet isn’t just going to make itself, you know? Feel free to suggest better candidates for “Slow News Day Story of the Summer” in the comments. [h/t Universal Hub]