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''KKR victory made me realize both success & failure are not permanent ''

Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) co-owner and Bollywood superstar, Shahrukh khan celebrated the IPL victory with full gusto after facing myriad controversies for quite some time. The happy man talks in length about KKR's win and about being in the news for all the wrong reasons. Here are the excerpts:

KKR totally cracked it at IPL this seasonWith sports you really don't know...As outsiders we can only give comments and say that we'd like to win. In sports, winning and losing is least important aspect. It's how a team plays. Now that we have won a cup and if we keep on saying that we cracked it then it's not true. I don't think it works that way. The greatness of any team is how they gel and play together, and they feel for it.

I also know a lot of boys in the team for last 4-5 years felt the pressure of working for a filmstar. So I am happy now that pressure is off. They have an identity of their own. Whether there is guy called Lara or Unadkat who played for team now feel part of it. Some of the decisions taken by Gautam of sticking onto the players, might not have been in the rightest of forms and were criticized from outside but I think that itself was a show of great confidence. And one thing he kept saying throughout was let's back each other up and I think somewhere that aspect has worked greatly for the team. And like I said, from outside everyone thinks about winning or loosing...we look for heroes and villains all our lives and sports unfortunately in our country is not the greatest profession looked upto as yet. It's always going to be jeete ki hare and that's how people are going to measure it. Nevertheless I like this part of it.

The stage when KKR team felt that it is going to live this time around?I think somewhere after losing two matches...especially when the team lost out to a great inning against Mumbai Indians it was at that time they started believing they will win next.

The moment before winning the match?I see lot of people analyzing movie stars outside their line of work. From last 10-15 days I saw lot of top psychologist, socialites talking aloud about what goes in my mind, how I behave on a cricketing field, what my mental equilibrium is like but I want to tell everyone that I get this opportunity to share happiness as my team won it. A lot of people will think that I am again tending towards insanity when I say this that for the first time I felt if I could stand on that balcony and kick-off, I could fly, that's how I happy was. And I am not being impractical stupid, silly, insane. I am fortunate that I have this opportunity, I can share as a team owner, I can do cartwheel, handstand, I want to express the feeling of 50 people, who have moved with us for 5 years. When you speak to these boys, who have been with us for 5 years, you realize there have been days when we cried together after the match, there have been days when Dada had not just eaten for a day, we had lot of ups and downs. So to be able to achieve this was one of the nicest feelings I had in my life.

Also, as a father it was very important for me to prove my children right when you know they trust you. Why should they believe you if they find that other things which you said don't turn out true? Because whenever they have asked me I have just said if you work hard you will be able to win but for 4 years to hold on to something which has not transformed into what their father is saying...so I feel more than happy as today I can turnaround to my children and say that I wasn't wrong about telling you that if you work hard, if you're honest and if you happily do something it will turn out well.

"I felt ashamed to misbehave and abuse in front of my kids..."

The anxiety of last innings of the matchI really don't remember the last 6 balls of the match. And that's not because I was in an unabated state or not watching the match. I remember when Suhana turned around and told me that we will win the match I just hugged her back. I was just praying hard at that moment 'ki yaar bahut ho gaya ab thoda thik thaak kar dena'. Because cricket is one game where you can't control it. It's never in one's hands. Suhana believes that whenever she has come for the match, we've won it. So I didn't want that part to be changed. I just wanted her belief to turn out true. Me, Juhi, and Jay went back and saw the match at night for 4 times to believe it.

This year you and Juhi went together so you think it made a difference to the match?From me wearing a black shirt to my daughter being there to me attending the match...I mean if you could win cricket matches or any sports like this things would have been much simpler. I don't believe in it. It's not that we go to spread out some luck there...Even If I am busy I will still make it a point to visit there. It's just the feeling of ownership. I wish it was that simple to just attend and win a match!

In the initial years, I didn't mind attending the matches because I didn't know what winning or losing is but somewhere this year I started to feel that if we are losing then I need to be there to show that we believe in it.

There were celebrations in Kolkata but why Mumbai was deprived of it? I think this party is redundant without the cricketers. Since they are not there and had to leave, I find the whole party thing redundant without KKR team.

It is being said that KKR's IPL win was a private affair?It's a private team match? How private is it that the whole county sits at 8 pm and watches it? I don't understand why are we terming it private or public.. There are several public functions which media will not cover for want of audience...Why are we Indians so scared to be happy and cynical? I see Television anchor as overgrown school boy wanting to be a stupid cowboy and thinking he is sitting on a horse when he is sitting on a stupid titanium chair and he is telling everybody this is not right that is wrong...common on give yourself time, take off your tie and be happy for a minute... Be happy don't find cynicism in everything....We've never thought of private or public or personal...If there is a moment of happiness in the city/state let's not mar it by cynicism and say 'O this was for politics'. One should not be afraid to be happy in whatever little chance one gets. I have a very stressful job, I have been working for 20 years.. I keep on doing things and sometimes they do go wrong, sometimes critics don't like the film, the film tanks, you lose money, you comeback you try your best, but at the end of it if I see a Chammak Challo of my film becoming a hit, I celebrate that. So these little things in life should not get swallowed up by cynicism.

I would like to be on a side which is National actually. I saw one gentleman talking to a TV Channel about why are they celebrating so much in Kolata when we have just 5 players from this state? Does that gentleman does not watch the Indian team when a Bengali player is playing? Does he not watch my films? I'd like to believe he watches my films. I am from Delhi, born-brought up half in Bangalore, my mother is from Hyderabad, my dad's from Peshawar and Kashmir, I live in Mumbai, My team is in Kolkata. So how dare anyone, and I say this with all honesty and being a patriot, say 'O there's no point in celebrating a city's team because there are only five players from Kolkata. How is Gautam less Indian or a Kolkatan or a Bengali or Mumbaikar than anybody else?

What do you have to say about the myriad controversies you faced while IPL was onI was really angry. I saw somebody say that I was showing my shoe somewhere. It was so unfortunate. I saw a young boy who was dressed up like me in a torned jeans and white T-shirt and he turned around to me and started saying Shahrukh Bhai aap torn jeans kyun nahi pehni...if you wear it you win the match. So in return I said niche se torned hai come and tear more for me...I am an employee of my audience whether on cricket field or off cricket ground...I will be never rude to them. So it's very unfortunate how people analyse such things.

Then the Wankhede controversy... I didn't like the fact that I misbehaved and I abused in front of my kids. The reason is mere dimaag mai as a father, as a person, as a man, I have justification for it. But I have no justification for the fact that however angry I am, however disturbed I am, I can't subject my kids for that, I can't subject my audience for it...When I say audience, rightly or wrongly a lot of people think I am a role model but I am not. Because I don't do things of a role model. I may not play the same kind of roles now but audiences still have an old image about me.

I felt very ashamed because when I sat home my wife and my children spoke to me and I was all the more ashamed to know that my kids have grown up enough and explain me that my behavior was not correct... So I regret what I did and I said. Lastly there were so many analysts on my behavior that most of them were highly boring...And individually my fight, my disturbance is not with an association. Suppose if I fight with you at this moment then I am not fighting with your publication. My fight happened with you because you misbehaved with me. So I don't want to get into this embroil that am I with the association or am I apologizing or not. No I don't think I should apologise. If someone misbehaves with me why should I apologise? Fortunately or Unfortunately I am in a position where I should be more thick skin and be quiet and say if I get into this situation right now it will be bad for my family, children and audience..I have to be little more patient or I would go to less public places.

Why you stayed away from giving clarifications all this while?Somewhere I feel the access to the toys like camera, internet, social media, microphones has by and large increased. People now don't know when and how to use these so-called toys. And from last 6-8 months whatever is being written or published about me has highly shattered me. It has never happened that I have ignored my media brothers and I am not saying it to gain good write-ups but I am saying this because I belong to the same business...As long as it is professional I still can accept it. But when it starts getting personal then I don't think I will keep give explanations or justifications about my personal life. And if people are going to be careless about my personal life then I will turn disrespectful. Do you also sometimes look at yourself and say that you have also done an action which is questionable? You've also put-up a story which is questionable. Somebody has written something which is perhaps little beyond and not decent...if we can't question ourselves then

"I have realized I can also fail"

who am I to be questioned? And if we are on two different planes then it's better to lead different lives, it is better I keep myself more enclosed. And that is the reason I don't want to come too often to explain what I have done. I don't even write on social networking sites anymore because I write something and people abuse it. Why should I stand the abuse after having worked for 20 years to make so many people happy? Is this what I do it for? And if I am going to be talked like this then I have it end it here and stay private.

Has IPL triumph brought changes in your life?Yes I think so because for 20 years most of the work which I have done I have been successful at it. I think it was high time I faced failure and IPL is not personally. But somehow my life in the last one year has changed and I have realized I can also fail. Success is not a good teacher, success cannot be passed on. You can never express or tell anyone why you gained success. Success does appear good but I don't think even a Viswanathan Anand even after imparting all his chess moves can create one more Viswanathan Anand. It's very difficult. But failure, which I have not faced for many years, made me very humble, made me realize that in spite of my gusto, my beliefs, my prayers, my hardwork, etc I can still go wrong. And it's not that you hold the world responsible for it. You can't get angry and put a blame on the world saying - World is not loving me, God is not listening to me, My team is not with me blah blah. We have to realize that failure is part of life and you need to face it. This victory at least made me believe that success and failure both are not permanent and both of them can be reversed.

Other than KKR's victory, Viswanathan Anand has made it to world chess champion for the fifth time in a row...I would like everyone in India to really celebrate Viswanathan Anand's win. He is the greatest champion our country has ever produced. Honestly Chess is a difficult game. It is not such a viewer-friendly game but to be a champion and that too 5th time in a row is one of the greatest achievement. From childhood I have been playing chess and looked upto the champions of Chess. But Viswanathan Anand is the greatest sportsmen our country has. We should all really celebrate it.

Your comments on Poonam Pandey's full monty act for KKRI remember when India had won world cup all my close friends were having dinner at my place and we were going at Farhan and Riteish's place and were enjoying like anything. We partied till 8 that India won the World Cup. When KKR won IPL I did a cartwheel. So everyone has their way of expressing happiness. And I don't think I am eligible enough to comment on others way of expressing their happiness. Main khud ajib ajib cheese kar leta hun. I am thankful to everyone who has celebrated on behalf of KKR's win in whichever way.