Made full use of the last of the sunshine yesterday with my fav 👫 Lunch alfresco at @jolly_jacks , a walk on the coast & a pint by the sea 💕 Bought this dress a few weeks ago from @missguided. Thought I’d never get to wear it 🌧😅

What is the meaning of recovery? See to me it changes everyday, I often find myself thinking, am I in recovery? The answer is often no, last night felt like the first step in the right direction of recovery, the impulse curly fries at 2 in the morning the 7 drinks I had, yes my thoughts were awful, the whole night, but I did it anyways, I listened to Jess for the first time in years, I listened nearly fully, I really struggled with my meal, and then we tried to order dessert, luckily that didn’t work but my point is I still did it. I’m tired today, I regret the chips and all the drinks but I know I had a good time, you’re only 18 once!!! Hope you are all well my lovelies!! All my love Jess 💛 p.s I don’t like these pictures of me or any I really post but feel the annoyance and self consciousness and do it anyways!!

Day 10 Post Op...
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Had a massive bloat after eating Chinese but it was bloody worth it. Besides, it always disappears by morning! I'm actually amazed I've managed to stay (fairly) lean so far, but nowhere near where I'd like to be. Starting to feel a little more normal now, as nearly all daily activities can be done. (No more pain thank god!) Finally managed to sleep on my side which felt AMAZING! -
Once my drain is out, I won't be as limited and can do one really long walk rather than a few shorter ones. Just got to wait until Wednesday to know when I can go back to work and the gym. -
#fitness#gym#gymlife#lifestyle#strengthtraining#girlswholift#strongnotskinny#progress#consistency#dedication#instafitness#instagood

🌿✨WEEKLY MEAL PREP!✨🌿
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✨For preworkout this week I’ll be having a @myvegan chocolate cookie with a cup of coffee! ✨
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✨ For my post workout breakfast, I’ll be having my chocolate courgette pancakes! For each serve I used 1/2 a courgette, 150ml almond milk, 60g spelt flour, 20g @myproteinuk chocolate soy isolate, 5g chia seeds, 5g cacao powder, a squeeze of half a lemon, some baking powder and some salt! ✨I then topped it with some @myproteinuk powdered PB, cacao nibs, raspberries and banana slices! ✨
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✨ For a mid morning snack, I prepared some soy yogurt mixed with a @myproteinuk mocha flavour drop, topped with some bloobs, @sweetfreedomsuk caramel choc shot and a crushed Oreo (an Oreo a day is the key to success)! ✨
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✨ For lunch, I went all Caribbean! I prepared a base of kale, some rice with beans, jerk tofu and pepper, aswell as some baked plantain! For the rice and beans I seasoned them with some spices. For the tofu and green peppers I used a jerk seasoning. For the plantain I baked them in the oven with a drizzle of coconut oil and paprika for 10-15 mins! ✨ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⚠️ ✨DISCLAIMERRR: I only realised, after taking photos of this weeks meal prep that the BBQ pop chips are surprisingly not vegan! So I’ll be donating the BBQ flavour to my family and instead I’ll be popping to the shops to get the sea salt flavour because that one is vegan! Apologies in advance ✨⚠️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
✨ For another snack, I’ll also be having a @myvegan strawberry protein ball! ✨
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🌿✨ Another meal prep for the week done and dusted! I only prepped for 4 days this week because on Wednesday I’ll be going for some dessert with my friend ❤️🙌🏼 so what I’ll be having in the day would be different as I still track on days where I eat out, I just guess the macros so I know how much I should eat for my other meals without under or over eating!✨🌿

~ TW ~ I know it’s been nearly a month but I’ve been so so triggered by some people on here I’ve had to stay away as I’m trying to keep my life. SO it’s 15th September today... exactly 1 month until my 30th birthday. I’m feeling incredibly low about this. What have I achieved in these 30 years? A career? A family? Love? Beauty? Thinness? No. Have I successfully conquered my ED? No. 30 years on this planet and nothing to show for it. Which is why I have got to thinking... Maybe it’s becoming time to give up. Maybe 30 years is enough and I should call it a day. I go to Vietnam 23rd September - 3rd October. My family are visiting me 12th - 13th October, my actual birthday is Tuesday 15th October (the same night of my ballet course). So maybe I enjoy Vietnam, enjoy the rehearsals in the run-up to my birthday, enjoy my family the weekend before my birthday, go full-out in ballet on my birthday, then just end it all and go out on a high note. I’m not 100% certain, I’m not saying this is what I’m going to do. I’m just thinking. It’s a serious decision and I can’t afford to take it lightly. I don’t really know if I’m posting this here in hopes of someone changing my mind or if I’m just venting and having a particularly low day and tomorrow I might reread this, roll my eyes and think ‘how silly’. 🧚‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧜‍♀️ ~ Be strong beautiful warriors ~ 🦋🌷🦋🌷🦋🌷🦋🌷🦋✨💋#recover#recovery#edwarrior#dubrovnik#croatia#actor#eatingdisorder#eatingdisorderrecovery#edrecovery#anorexia#anorexiarecovery#bulimia#bulimiarecovery#fearfood#prorecovery#recoveryfamily#bodyimage#bodypositive#health#healthy#mentalhealth#selflove#flexibility#strongnotskinny#dance#dancer#ballerina#fashion#ballet

Day 27 ✅ Sunday morning workout done with the 8 week challenge crew. It was hard and definitely pushed me to my limit. Not feeling too prepared for the week ahead - I've got so much on that fitting in workout time will be hard amongst other shit to do...I can get through this 🤞

I’ve totally changed up what I have for breakfast. I used to be all about porridge - I would have oats and almond milk almost religiously every morning. It did keep me quite full but I’d be feeling tired and hungry a few hours later. I swapped carbs for protein and healthy fats - three eggs, chicken sausage plus a blueberry, almond butter and protein shake. .
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The positive difference this makes to my energy levels because it keeps my blood sugar levels from crashing (which helps my mood in general) is worth the extra prep work. .
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Oh and I’ve lost 4lbs in a 7 days 🙌🏼
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#feelingfull#positive#staystrong#babegoeat#strongnotskinny#protein#glutenfree#healthyfatsburnfat

ⓛⓞⓞⓚ ⓐⓣ ⓣⓗⓐⓣ ⓢⓗⓘⓝⓔ -
I'm not just referring to the sweat either. -
Sure the glisten of that post-workout sweat self is is Uber satisfying.. But check out the shine in my eyes .. -
I am halfway through the challenge I have set for myself. I have pushed myself to do things that I never imagined I would do and I am getting stronger and healthier each day. -
I feel good. -
And when you feel good, it shows. In your eyes. In your smile. In the way you carry yourself. . -
And that's incredible. When you take the time to do something for yourself, you are doing amazing things. - I still have my struggle-bus days, don't get me wrong--... But I am better able to cope with those days because I KNOW I'm doing good things for my body and my mind ! - -
#momstrong#momswholift#girlswholift#homeworkout#nogymworkout#anytimeanyplace#strongnotskinny#sweatyselfie#postworkout#workout51#strongasamother#proudofme

My one true love, with my one true love last night! @pizzahut pizza treating me in all sorts of ways on a Saturday night, just look at that garlic dust! Drunken me even saved hungover me a few slices for breakfast too this morning.. Don’t judge, something needs to soak up all the pink gin I consumed last night! The line is now drawn even though it’s got to be some sorts of healthy with all that pineapple & it’s only a medium compared to my usual huge XXL @papajohnsuk, HAPPY BLOODY SUNDAY GUYS!🤓👌🏻

Yay back with my running buddy @lsm4rty
Due to injuries - mine and hers - we can probably count on one hand how many times we have managed to run together since Xmas!! Hopefully we can rectify this for the rest of the year 🤞

Back in London with 2 more days of induction before I officially start my new job
And with that means I’ve got to start getting my lazy ass up early to get to the gym 😬
I don’t like working out in the mornings so this is going to be a struggle... but I’m determined to teach myself to like it. Wish me luck 🤞