Rock Bottom

LOGLINE: A dysfunctional family comedy centering on two disillusioned adults who move back to their hometown and attempt to stave off adulthood by forming a mixed doubles Olympic curling team. Together they vow to bring home the gold. Not for glory, not for honor, but to spite their mutual nemesis.

Devin

The jollies, kemosabe. The jollies. You
may have been the big man on campus in high school, but I’m the one with the Olympic medal.

CARTER

Well, a bronze medal. Literally the worst
medal a human being can win.

DEVIN

This medal, this symbol of freedom, may
not mean a hill of beans to you, but to a buxom little fox named America...

CARTER

Gross.

DEVIN

...it means I’m the best in the world.

CARTER

Third best. At curling.

DEVIN

I swear on mom’s life that I did not
introduce Donny to his new fiancé.

ALEX

Yes you did.

DEVIN

You’re right. But in my defense, you
weren’t supposed to find out about it.

DOVE (O.S.)

Your show has a five percent rating on
Rotten Tomatoes.

CARTER

Dove, if you don’t zip it, I will open-
shoe punt you into the Great Lakes.

BOP

So like a sandal situation?

DOVE

Which Great Lake? And don’t you dare say
Huron.

DEVIN

Hey, be nice to Dove. His ex-wife once
dated Puck from Real World San Francisco.

NICKY

I don’t know why you’re giving up on your
writing. You had a hit TV show for goodness sakes.

From his usual spot at the bar, GARY “DOVE” DUBINSKY (age unknown but locals believe somewhere between 40-80, chatty town drunk) chimes in with his two cents.

DOVE

“Hit” TV show? It lasted two episodes.
Uproxx called it “too terrible to review so here’s a picture of a horse...”

CARTER

Shut up, Coach Dove. You’re not my gym
teacher anymore. And at least I didn’t get fired for putting pornography in a time capsule, like a weirdo.