First off... HUGS! My DS is very spirited... we say he's got 2 gears, go and fast. lol All his emotions are all or nothing. He cries BIG, when he gets mad he gets P.O'd, when he's happy he's jumping excited, so on.... As far as discipline with him, we've found that just keeping cool and calm is key. He absolutely feeds off of our stress and anger. If we let our emotions guide our discipline, he knows it and pushes our buttons even more. Also, stay consistent. Pick one thing, and stay with it. It's very trying, but it's worth it in the end. We read 123 Magic and applied that concept. It is the time out thing, but it's also being consistent and emotion-less with discipline. Sorry, I'm kinda talking in circles, but of course, he's acting out b/c I'm not giving him 100% attention.... Hope you find some peace soon.

ETA: I forgot about the diet thing too! We recently overhauled his diet. We've cut all refined sugar, limited dairy, and cut food dyes. It has seemed to help with his behavior. The more 'whole' you can go, the better. GL mama!

Julianne had some great ideas. Our older is exactly a spirited child. We say she does everything with gusto. If she is happy, she is so exuberant and full of energy. If she is upset, it's like the world is over and the meltdown is unbelievable. She is 2.5 and we have a good thing going right now but it does take awhile to get there. The major thing for us is a structured routine. We rarely deviate from our routine. It is definitely a sacrifice but it IS working gloriously. Consistent sleep and healthy meals (very little processed, nothing sugary, etc.) makes a difference. As for discipline, I definitely agree with remaining 100% calm no matter what they are doing. Most of the time just pausing before reacting helps. Collect yourself, remind them in a short but firm explanation of what they are supposed to be doing or not doing and then move on. We do timeouts if necessary but the main thing in our household is preventative measures. We don't put her in situation we know she can't handle. We find fun ways to get out her energy and give age and personality appropriate expectations.

First off... HUGS! My DS is very spirited... we say he's got 2 gears, go and fast. lol All his emotions are all or nothing. He cries BIG, when he gets mad he gets P.O'd, when he's happy he's jumping excited, so on.... As far as discipline with him, we've found that just keeping cool and calm is key. He absolutely feeds off of our stress and anger. If we let our emotions guide our discipline, he knows it and pushes our buttons even more. Also, stay consistent. Pick one thing, and stay with it. It's very trying, but it's worth it in the end. We read 123 Magic and applied that concept. It is the time out thing, but it's also being consistent and emotion-less with discipline. Sorry, I'm kinda talking in circles, but of course, he's acting out b/c I'm not giving him 100% attention.... Hope you find some peace soon.

ETA: I forgot about the diet thing too! We recently overhauled his diet. We've cut all refined sugar, limited dairy, and cut food dyes. It has seemed to help with his behavior. The more 'whole' you can go, the better. GL mama!

We have been trying 123 Magic as well. I managed to lose my book somehow, so I have to find a new one.

What kinds of foods do you do with the new diet. I have tried my best to refine her diet and limit dyes, HFCS, etc. But its hard to find things without dye in them. Lately she wants nothing but salad.

The more that Im reading, the more I think that DD is Spirited. She is the 'difficult' child. Metldowns, drama, VERY high Energy, when something happens that she doesnt like its meltdown central. When she gets in trouble for even the smallest things she cries and screams like she is seriously hurt. And she DOES.NOT.LISTEN.EVER.

I have had such a problem disciplining her. Im at the end of my rope right now as well because I have been through this for 2 years and its just getting worse the older she gets.
We did find that getting her into sports, like soccer and taking her swimming, helps get out a lot of that energy.

The only thing I have found that works for my son is sending him to his room. He has to stay there for 2 minutes and if he is not sorry (or whatever) he has to stay an additional minute. He will not do time out, rarely responds to calm rational talking and ignoring the problem.

We found time out works well for us too, most of the time. I also figured out what sets her off, and for the most part, DD is well behaved up until she starts getting a bit sleepy or overstimulated for too long, then the meltdown happens and its not good for anyone.i try to make sure we plan outings in the mornings so she can be home for a nap. Not the easiest solution, but it works. We are able to avoid a meltdown and scream fest, and I'm not all grouchy cause she's throwing a fit. win-win situation

My DS is definitely a spirited child. His emotions are big, and swing with the flip of a coin. There is no distracting this child, and it has been that way since day one. I agree with some previous posters - keep a consistent routine, and try your hardest to keep the emotion out of your discipline. The other thing is to plan ahead. I *know* a meltdown is coming at 5pm, just as I am making dinner and my DD is needing to nurse. So I send him to his room at 4:45pm, and it works like a charm. The first couple of times he really disliked it, but now I catch him going to his room a little more often (and without fuss). I think he likes the retreat aspect of it. I also know that he hits a spot right around 11:30am where he gets whiney, so if we are home I pull out the playdough or crayons at 11:20 in hopes to avoid it. When we are out, I just keep an eye on my watch and pull him from whatever activity for a potty and snack break.