Terry

by Terry
(Pennsylvania)

My wife Vicky and l were riding our Harleys home after a wonderful week on vacation.We would soon be celebrating 25 years of marriage in November 2012..,,Out of the blue on a back country road some ***hole texting on a cell phone crossed the double yellow line missing me and hitting my wife....killing her instantly...l became hysterical and numb and every other emotion that never ever did l experience prior...Vicky was my best friend lover soulmate ....l loved our marriage....then in a blink of an eye it was over...that was 8 months ago...l cant accept it as "Gods" plan...l just cant....we have a daughter....2 granddaughters....nothing is the same....what l saw at the accident scene would make seasoned soldiers puke...now l have to live with this vision for the rest of my life....l'm ready to go whenever the good lord puts my "plan" into my final countdown....l hate living

Comments for Terry

I can't begin to know how you feel seeing such a horrible thing as a car crash.I pray for you to find some peace.She is in Heaven waiting for your day.I believe that strongly or I would totally lose it.My husband,my soul mate,the love of my life and the father of our children died May 2011.I'm sure you told your wife how much you loved her often as I did my husband.Keep her memories alive.Talk to others about things that remind you or her.That has helped me the most.We made our 25th anniversary and were going to travel when I retired.He died 3 months before that happened.I am finally getting to the point where I can go to our favorite places.Take your time.Everyone grieves differently.The thing I miss the most is waking up and he is there.It's hard but it does get easier over time.I still cry some days but not totally losing it now.GOD give you strength and peace.I send you love and comfort.

May 11, 2013

To Terryby: Anonymous

I am so sorry that your wife has died and left you with so many questions and times of grief. My husband died suddenly also from sudden cardiac arrest. we were married over 43 yrs. You said it best when you said " I loved our marriage" That is exactly how I feel; I was so happy and I loved my marriage also.

Heartbroken

May 01, 2013

Dear Terry,by: Pat in Missouri

I am soooo sorry for your sudden loss. Losing a loved one is difficult enough, but what you have been through is unimagineable. It is probably still too early for you to be able to accept this, but, in time, it will be comforting to know that your wife died instantly. After a horrible accident like this, she could have been left paralyzed, with a serious head injury, or multiple broken bones, etc. These injuries would have caused extreme pain and months or years of suffering. It would have been terrible for both you and she. Your wife was spared all of that. She is at peace.

It is you who needs the peace now. This kind of loss is very difficult to accept and deal with. I assume there may also be legal proceedings, which will bring up even more pain. I think the best idea is for you and your family to seek professional help from a counselor. Your whole life was gone "in the blink of an eye." It will take time and many adjustments to move forward and figure out your new life. I am sure you are going through all the stages of grief. You are probably feeling anger and deep depression. Please seek help. You will be so glad you did. There is no real way to understand what happened or why, but when life dumps on us like this, we, somehow, find a way to move on. We humans are resislent. I have been amazed at the strength the families of Newtown, CT. have found. It does help to be with others who are also grieving. It is different for everyone, but the pain of the loss is no less for 1 than another. You might find hope and comfort in attending a grief support group. Check with your local churches, hospitals, and hospice agencies. All of these offer such groups and they are free.

Remember that the death of a close family member is probably the most difficult thing we will ever face. Since all of us will die one day, we all have to face this, but doing so with others who are also feeling lost and depressed is a big source of support. I did it myself, after I lost a brother, father, and fiance' all in 5 months in 2011.

I send you big hugs. I hope you will reach out for help. Let us know how you are doing.