my purple monkey

October 29, 2009

Roman Baldeosingh Rotstein

Welcome to our son Roman! I can't believe I've already given birth and am home with baby. What a whirlwind week!

Everything is going surprisingly well. I was disappointed with the C-Section but I always thought that's how it would end, but wanted to do my best trying. It all so happened so unbelievably fast. So fast that I was told by the Dr on call to go immediately to the hospital, which left us no time to have someone watch Sophie so I had to arrive there on my own. Luckily David's sister who was in Atlantic City made it here in record time and David was able to join me as I was still in the triage room.

I woke up at 8:30, water broke 9am, but I was unsure if it did or not. Maybe I was just in denial? We went to get bagels with Sophie and I quickly realized that it was in fact my water breaking so I called the Dr around 11am, after a quick trip to the playground with Sophie of course! It was just such a beautiful day, and it took me by surprise and I thought I really wanted to enjoy one last morning with just our little family of 3. I showered and finally went to hospital at noon, alone, and immediately as I arrived the contractions started fast and furious at 2-3 minutes apart, then 2, then 1-2! The all happened within 2 hours of being in the triage room. I began to stress out as David still wasn't there and I was so scared and lonely. But luckily he arrived just as I was about to be transferred to the delivery room. The pain was RIDICULOUSLY painful and intense, and as soon as they got me out of the triage room and into my delivery room I got the epidural. No, I BEGGED for it. Luckily the anesthesiologist was right there and ready and I screamed and cried through the last couple of contractions as she did it, thinking to myself over and over "this is the last contraction I will EVER feel". I really don't know how people do natural birth. They were 1 minute apart at that point and I just could not take it, I was going out of my mind. So finally the epidural took effect and then all was well and I could relax. It was impossible to watch the Yankee game or sleep or do anything other than wonder what was going to happen next. A few hours later my Dr ended up giving me Pitocin little by little to see if my contractions would strengthen, as I was 4cm and 100% effaced, but baby was still VERY high at -4! After several hours I never dilated past 4 cm and baby never came down, even with much strong contractions. I could have remained and tried if I really wanted to but I knew deep down that in the end this baby would not descend. He was still at a -4! So at almost midnight, as the Yankees won the penant and their entry into the World Series, they prepped the room for surgery. I was a little nervous but really just wanted to get it over with and see baby. The C-Section this time around took an entire TWO HOURS from beginning to end, twice the normal amount of time as I had a lot of scar tissue. It was horribly long and uncomfortable and scary. The shaking and uncomfortable position you're in, combined with the fact that you can feel or see much of anything is really horrible, but in the end all is well. At 12:58AM they finally pulled him out and we heard a series of really loud cries that sounded to me like a cat screeching! The announcement of a big baby boy was made and about 10 minutes later we finally laid eyes on our Roman.

Roman is doing well. The first night home did not go well as he does not like to sleep in a bassinet or anything that isn't moving, and we couldn't find the plug to the swing! So lots of rocking and shaking of the bassinet then eventually David just manually pushed him in the swing until he finally slept for about 3 hours. The breastfeeding is painful but I was definitely more prepared this time and so far it is working out. We went to the Dr today and he gained back 7 oz which is great as he had lost 10 oz in the first 3 days. I am supplementing with a small amount of formula after feedings but hopefully by next week I won't have to do this anymore.

Thankfully David is home for two weeks as it would be impossible for me to do this and juggle Sophie without his help. Basically he takes care of Sophie and I take care of Roman. I feel bad that I can't play with her so much or hold her, and she is definitely feeling the distance as well. But hopefully in a month or so I'll be back to my old self and able to do more with her. Of course I'm feeling guilty but I can only do so much with healing from the surgery and taking care of a newborn.

I feel 100% better than I did when I had Sophie. No depression. No surprises as I knew what to expect this time around. Boy it is so much easier after you've had a baby already. I wonder what I was so stressed out about the first time but luckily that is in the past. It's so nice to feel happy feelings and enjoy the baby rather than be distraught over it all!

October 15, 2009

2 1/2

Sophie is now 2 1/2 as of October 13th. I was hoping for #2 to be born on that day as well, but alas, I am still playing the waiting game.

It seems that her tantrums have kicked it up a notch as of this week. Some say she "knows" the baby is coming and she is acting out. I say she is just simply 2 1/2 years old. Several times a day, if not more, she'll flip out over something small and have a full out tantrum, screaming, crying, throwing toys or whatever she's frustrated with. Luckily she rarely exhibits this behavior outside, but it does happen from time to time. I really, really need to get her in some type of daily class as I know she is bored at home. But we're still trying to figure things out with money and time management for when the baby comes.

It's VERY difficult to work from home and take care of her at the same time, so Tuesday's and Wednesday's when I'm home have become increasingly stressful for me. Luckily she still takes a 2 1/2 hour nap everyday so it's during that time that I try to get the most work done. On Wednesday's we go to music class for 45 minutes in the morning which she, and I, really enjoy. She really gets into it, dancing around and playing the different instruments they hand out. It's such a joy to see her having so much fun, and I just wish the class was longer!

For discipline we try the time out route. I can't say it's really working though. I do exactly as Super Nanny instructs, warn them if they repeat bad behavior they will get a time out, she almost always repeats, and I then put her in the naughty chair for 2 1/2-3 minutes. Problem is she doesn't really seem to mind! She usually sits there, not crying, not fussing, just sits there and sometimes calls my name (I try to keep busy in the kitchen and not make eye contact) or yells. This morning I had to put her in back to back time outs, and it was the first time she actually cried. Still, she continues to repeat the behavior day after day, and it doesn't seem she's really learning anything from the time outs. I'm not sure if it's because she's too young? I just know it's VERY frustrating as I have a very limited fuse lately being 9 months pregnant with backaches and big belly and all that. And I always think "how will I do this with a newborn added to the mix?" I know the next year or two are going to be VERY trying on my patience.

Here are some recent pics of her. The last one is a "plane" David made for her by cutting wings and holes for her legs in a cardboard box.

October 05, 2009

Nervous

My due date is less than 4 weeks away and I'm starting to get really nervous. Everything is set up, washed, stored and ready. But now that there isn't anything else to do to prepare, I have too much time to worry about the actual baby! In all the rush to get things ready, and with being busy with Sophie and work, I've forgotten about the scariness of labor. We had a talk with the Dr on Friday and she told us all the things we need to know about labor this time around. With a VBAC as a possibility there will be a lot more monitoring this time around, which means they want me at the hospital much earlier than last time. Not what I wanted to hear. I am also Group Strep B positive (again) so I will also need to come earlier in order to get antibiotics. Ugh. I so don't want to rush over to the hospital early as I much prefer to labor at home as long as possible, but we'll see what happens. When contractions are 5 minutes apart for an hour I'm to call then head over. Last time around I stayed home with 5 min contractions for a whopping 16 hours! The whole thing seems a little scarier to me this time around as I'm worried about Sophie and who will be watching her. We have loose plans and it all is really dependent on when it happens. Our nanny can definitely be here to watch her as can David's parents, but it'll take them about an hour or two to get here. And if his parents are here, then they'll miss the birth at the hospital! I just hope we don't have to run to the hospital in the middle of the night. I'm also nervous about staying in the hospital by myself as this time I won't be getting a private room so David won't be staying with me. Well, I could get a private room, if I wanted to pay $750 a night! These hospitals here are really outrageous.

If I don't go into labor by November 4th then there will be a C-section planned for that day. I will be unable to be induced so there would be no other choice. I highly doubt the baby will come that late though.

This coming Friday I will have an ultrasound to estimate the weight of the baby. I feel like this one will be even bigger than Sophie was (9.1) so that's scary too! I have this feeling I will end up getting a C-section in the end, but I will do my best. The end result of a healthy baby and Mommy is what really matters in the end.