Come sit, relax, and share the journey of my own personal enlightenment through Art, Light and musings from Tracy.

Friday, March 28, 2008

How you live

Wake up to the sunlightWith your windows openDon't hold in your anger or leave things unspokenWear your red dressUse your good dishesMake a big mess and make lots of wishesHave what you wantBut want what you haveAnd don't spend your life looking' back

Chorus:Turn up the musicTurn it up loudTake a few chancesLet it all outYou won't regret itLooking' back from where you have beenCuz it's not who you knewAnd it's not what you didIt's how you live

Verse 2:So go to the ballgamesAnd go to the balletAnd go see your folks more than just on the holidaysKiss all your childrenDance with your wifeTell your husband you love him every nightDon't run from the truth'Cause you can't get awayJust face it and you'll be okay

Chorus:Turn up the musicTurn it up loud

Take a few chancesLet it all outYou won't regret itLooking' back from where you have been'Cause it's not who you knewAnd it's not what you didIt's how you live

Bridge:Oh wherever you are and wherever you've beenNow is the time to begin

Verse 3:So give to the needyAnd pray for the grievingEven when you don't think that you can'Cause all that you do is bound to come back to youSo think of your fellow manMake peace with God and make peace with yourself'Cause in the end there's nobody else

ChorusTurn up the musicTurn it up loudTake a few chancesLet it all out'Cause you won't regret itLooking' back from where you have been'Cause it's not who you knewAnd it's not what you didIt's how you live

'Cause it's not who you knewAnd it's not what you didIt's how you live

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

One of the best things I have done for myself is to take this class "Cleansing Streams". It has brought me more peace and emotional well being then any other thing I have done in my life. It has also given me direction and purpose. What i am learning is priceless truthfully.

In the last 6 years I have tried hard to deal with things that have happened in my past. I have gone through years of counseling, as well as taken a Christian class that was based on dealing with past issues. I still could not get over the past. I found that therapy and classes did help some, and i learned a lot, but I still had not let go of the past. I have come to a point in my life that i find myself needing to get over the past. It was time to move forward, and stop dwelling on the past. I needed to live in the here and now as well as look toward the future. Cleansing Streams is providing exactly that.

What i love about the class is that it gives you steps to take. Ones that are important. Steps that have given me so much healing! Each week that I have gone I have changed a little more. Each class has brought me growth and healing.

Today I sat in prayer with the Lord. I then sat and read his word. What popped out at me right away was a verse in Philippians.

In Philippians 3:13-14 it says this: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

In my NIV devotional bible it touches on the topic further in saying this: "Forgetting what is behind"! We're little amateur psychologists these days, trying to remember all our pasts-- bringing up why our mothers did this and our fathers did that--to explain all our idiosyncrasies and quirks. The Bible doesn't so deal with us. It pronounces us sinners and then says to "get on with it', to look up and forward! All the great people of faith in Hebrews 11 looked forward (Hebrews 11:10,14-16,20-22, 26,39-40). So did Jesus: he endured the cross "for the joy set before him"(Hebrews 12-22).Then , with Paul, we must strain toward what's ahead and fix our attention on that: all God's promises, all our inheritance, and the goal, the prize--Jesus himself!"one thing I do," says Paul. It's one thing believers who shed the clutter and baggage and get there. They eliminate and concentrate, and they make it!

Take David for instance:One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple (Psalm 27:4)

Or take Mary. She sat at the feet of Jesus. And he said to her bustling sister Martha, "Only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her" (Luke 10:42)Be a "one-thing" Christian! Focus! Concentrate! Press on- and up!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.. 3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I have found through the class i am now taking that i have been afraid to take risks the last few years. I have been hurt so many times in my life, that i became tired of being hurt. I have learned to put a huge wall of protection around my heart. This is a common thing to do when a person has had to deal with so much pain in life. When you put up such strong walls though you end up missing out on so much in life.

You miss out on the good that God surrounds us with every single day in our lives.

All my life i feel like i put walls around me. I would tear them down, only to be hurt again by yet another person or situation. So the walls went back up. It has become a pattern with me. A pattern i need to break.

Life is full of pain. Life is full of danger. Life has so many unknowns that it makes it hard to trust and risk being hurt again.

Life however is full of blessings, and happiness also.

If one blocks out all the pain and danger, then they are no longer able to experience the many blessings and happiness life has to offer also.

I am developing a new walk with God. In this class I am taking, it teaches a person to lean into God, to hold his hand and have a very personal one on one relationship with God.

Always before I have believed in God. I have prayed, and felt God in my life, but i missed one huge piece in my relationship with him. A person not only has to pray to God, and believe in him they have to reach out their hand to God and take his hand.

One has to allow God to talk with you. One has to hear God and what he has to say to you. A person has to walk with God hand in hand, and at times as my favorite poem "FootPrints" says allow him to carry you in times of trouble.

I am learning that one not only has to believe in God, but to trust him to deal with all the pain and danger life brings your way.

It is not easy giving over the reigns of my life to God. I fight it every day, but every day i keep Gods hand firmly in mine. I am not letting his hand go this time.

It is so easy to not want to give full power and control over to God. That is what one has to do in order to fully walk with God. Its hard not to take that control back and try to do it all myself with just him watching on. I however found that when i am in charge of everything life becomes a messed up ugly blob of goo that is hard to see through. When i hand over all to God and he is in charge and running the controls in my life, everything becomes so clear.

I have a lot more to learn, and feel i am on the right path now in taking this class.

My Journey with God is just beginning.

To laugh is to risk being as a fool.To weep is to risk being sentimental.To reach out to another is to risk involvement.To expose your feelings is to risk exposing yourtrue self. To place your ideas and dreams before acrowd is to risk their loss. To love is to risk not beingloved in return. To live is to risk dying.To hope is to risk despair.To try is to risk failure.But the risks must be taken because thegreatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.The person who risks nothing, has nothing.She/he may avoid suffering and sorrow cannot learn,feel, change, grow or live. Chained byher/his servitude she/he is a slave who has forfeitedall freedom. Only a person who risks is free.The pessimist complains about the wind expects itto change and the realist adjusts the sails.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

This is my newest painting i am working on. The sky will have lightening bolts. There are actually some in the right hand corner now. They are very faint though. The sea itself is done all by using a knife. I thought i would try out a new technique when doing the sea this time.

The colors are lighter then what i usually use. I am liking how it looks though. Normally my colors are so very dark. I will show the painting as it progresses.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Here is my Duskysea painting i am working on. I have tried over and over to get the waves to a point that i am happy with. Still the painting is not done. lol I need to add some details still to the mountains, and sea, as well i think a couple of birds flying in the distance might be nice.

You can get a better look at the painting if you click on the picture and view the larger size.

Please share your thoughts regarding this painting. It has given me a run for my money in trying to get the wave just right, as well as the splashes.

Monday, March 3, 2008

These thoughts are mainly for me. I know others will read this, and i am ok with that. I just want others to be aware that I am using my blog as a way of putting my thoughts down so i can look back later to see how i have grown during the next few months. My thoughts might not make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me. :)

I started a new class tonight. It is called Cleansing streams. It is a two month class, one that will be testing my comfort zone. I do not like being around to many people. I tend to become panicked and unable to think or breath.

The class is all about cleansing all those things that are holding on to the spirit. This fear i have of being around others no matter how harmless or kind they are definitely needs to be cleansed! It is a class where it draws one closer to God. I am looking forward to this class, if i can just breath............ The class ends in a three day retreat which is another huge fear for me. I will be out of my comfort zone that is for sure.

The fear i felt tonight when going to this class was immense. I wanted to turn around and call the instructor and tell her i would not be able to be there. The fear was so great i was in tears an hour before the class even began. It overwhelmed me.

I knew that once i went to the first class i would be totally committed and have to follow through right to the end. I think i can make it through the classes itself, its the retreat that has me afraid. I do not want to go so far away from home. Staying in a hotel is a huge problem! For now i am going to try and put that out of my mind. Small steps. For now its the class i need to focus on right now. The ending is not the here and now. I will have to just take it one week at a time.

This class is a positive step for me. One that if i can release these fears, it will bring me that much closer with God, and a freedom within my own spirit and soul.

When you have a relationship with Jesus, three things are used.

Your Spirit, soul, and body. In that order it should be. Your spirit is the one that allows you to be one with God. The soul next, then body. The soul and body tends to get in the way of fully being one with God. The soul is your mind, will and emotions. Your body is in the physical sense. The spirit is what is able to truly connect with God. When you do not put your spirit first, the soul and body get in the way of connecting. Your mind keeps you thinking to much, intellect tends to get in the way. Your will tends to do what man wants you to do, and your emotions can overwhelm you so much that all you can hear is fear, anger, wants, and such. Emotions can make it very hard to truly connect.

The last few years i have been out of alignment. I have been ruled by my body, (physical pain) then my soul,(emotions and wants) and lastly my spirit The true ability to connect with the Holy Spirit). I am now going to put things in alignment again.

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About Me

I am a woman who is a wife, a mother, and an artist. I have a deep faith in Jesus and try to show this in all that I do. I have a few illnesses that I struggle with, but i try not to focus on them. This website is a place for me to just be me and share what ever might inspire me during my day.
Please check out my new painting site and see all of my latest works.

My other web site to order prints of my works.

The weather in my area.

My Lily Girl

Seek and you shall see

Picture Taken by Mehdi Adilian

Join the 9-12 Project

I believe in the 9/12 project

The 9/12

The 9 Principles

1.

America Is Good.

2.

I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

God “The propitious smiles of Heaven can never beexpected on a nation that disregards the eternal rulesof order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.”from George Washington’s first Inaugural address.

3.

I must always try to be a more honest personthan I was yesterday.

Honesty “I hope that I shall always possess firmnessand virtue enough to maintain what I consider tobe the most enviable of all titles, the characterof an honest man.” George Washington

4.

The family is sacred. My spouse and I are theultimate authority, not the government.

Marriage/Family “It is in the love of one’s family onlythat heartfelt happiness is known. By a law of our nature, we cannot be happy without the endearing connections of a family.” Thomas Jefferson

5.

If you break the law you pay the penalty.Justice is blind and no one is above it.

Justice “I deem one of the essential principles of ourgovernment… equal and exact justice to all men of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political.” Thomas Jefferson

6.

I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit ofhappiness, but there is no guarantee of equalresults.

Life, Liberty, & The Pursuit of Happiness “Everyone has a natural right to choose that vocationin life which he thinks most likely to give him comfortablesubsistence.” Thomas Jefferson

7.

I work hard for what I have and I will share it withwho I want to. Government cannot force me to becharitable.

Charity “It is not everyone who asketh that deservethcharity; all however, are worth of the inquiry or thedeserving may suffer.” George Washington

8.

It is not un-American for me to disagree withauthority or to share my personal opinion.

On your right to disagree “In a free and republicangovernment, you cannot restrain the voice of themultitude; every man will speak as he thinks, or moreproperly without thinking.” George Washington

9.

The government works for me. I do not answer tothem, they answer to me.

Who works for whom? “I consider the people whoconstitute a society or a nation as the source of allauthority in that nation.” Thomas Jefferson