Speak. Louder.

The Recovery Letters – Addressed to People Experiencing Depression.

Last year, I had the honour to be approached by the founder of The Recovery Letters blog, James Withey, who asked me to submit a letter for his upcoming book, the Recovery Letters – Addressed to People Experiencing Depression, which compiled letters from people who had once suffered – to the currently suffering.

My contribution made it through to final print, and when I got the package through from Jessica Kingsley publishers with a copy of the book, I wept with absolute joy. Upon reading the extracts, the book offers a real inspirational insight in to what it feels like to suffer, and each letter is raw with relatable stories, advice and hope.

Here is my contribution to the book.

From Megan.

“Dear You,

Struggling with Depression is one of closest things a human being can endure to being stuck in time.

I’m sharing these thoughts from experience. It has been a journey I once kept contained within myself; one that I never thought I would even begin to understand, let alone gain the understanding of those close to me. The day I closed my eyes to the light and woke in the darkness was a day I was convinced that I’d lost myself completely.

How do you even begin to make sense of it when your life suddenly pauses and you find yourself stuck within an infinite stretch of nothingness; watching everyone around you carry on with their lives, running towards the future whilst you are left behind? That numbness you just can’t seem to comprehend, slowly replacing the oxygen you once breathed in, poisoning your bloodstream the more you struggle for air. The sadness you can’t shift, lurking around every corner you turn and echoing it’s cries through each painful movement your body tries to make. That vicious hum of anxious energy that strikes time and time again when you have your back turned, potent enough to stop your heart mid-pulse and cruel enough leave you hanging there until you are convinced it will be the last beat it will ever sing.

That desperate search to track down the glimmer that was once yourself, becomes a one-way road that always leads you back to where you first started. After a few effortful attempts running down the same path over and over again, you eventually find yourself getting more and more exhausted with every step you take; until your mind and your body begins to run on an empty soul; a dried up motor that rusts and cracks under the heat. Depression for me was a never ending moment in time, one which I thought I’d never escape from.

One of my first Therapists – one of many to follow – gave me some valuable recovery advice back then which has stayed with me to this day. He said to me;

“There is a clear difference between believing that you can’t, and knowing that you can’t.”

When I heard those words, my perspective finally shifted enough to stop myself from running down that same one path. The reason why I had stalled in this endless loop of despair and a tunnel vision of doom was because I had made myself believe that recovery wasn’t an option for me. But in reality? The opportunity to get better was there. My eyes just couldn’t shift the fog that was my own damned perspective.

And then all of a sudden, the possibility of recovery became real. It was as simple as getting out of my head and remembering where I was – more importantly who I was – at that very moment.

So to you dear friend, please remember this. The next time you feel like you are stuck in time, the truth is; you are not. It only feels like you are stuck there. Remind yourself, that outside that perspective of yours, the clock reallyis ticking away. And it’s leading you to discover the most breath-taking, most beautiful opportunities you thought you could only dream of before now.

Hold on for hope, Recovery begins with you.

Love, Megan.”

Please do support James for all the hard work he has done by purchasing a copy for yourself, or even as a gift for someone you know is going through a tough time. Each one of these letters holds so much value and hope for those who are suffering. Details of how to purchase can be found in the link below, along with the Recovery Letters blog.

Reblogged this on My Loud Bipolar Whispers and commented:
I needed to read these words today as I am in the midst of a severe suicidal depression with suicidal thoughts flooding my mind. “There is a clear difference between believing that you can’t, and knowing that you can’t.” First after I read those words I thought instantly that it is simple and I know that “I can’t.” Then my mind flickered a small thought that I must have this little speck of belief and hope somewhere because I am still alive and here. I am still fighting, barely but I am fighting to keep breathing… Great post and I loved the letter. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did and I pray it may help someone in need as I am right now at this point in my life.

I needed to read these words today as I am in the midst of a severe suicidal depression with suicidal thoughts flooding my mind. “There is a clear difference between believing that you can’t, and knowing that you can’t.” First after I read those words I thought instantly that it is simple and I know that “I can’t.” Then my mind flickered a small thought that I must have this little speck of belief and hope somewhere because I am still alive and here. I am still fighting, barely but I am fighting to keep breathing… Great post and I loved your letter. Thank you very much for writing this. It was strange how it just popped up onto my page this morning when I turned on my computer. I know that has to be God. Your Twitter page with this post on it stayed on my screen and shouted at me to read it and so I did… I know there are no accidents, only blessings. Thank you God and thank you for your beautiful written post and letter. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have helped me greatly at this moment in time. I have a speck of hope to help me fight through this (again) and keep keeping on… Love, hugs and blessings Sue

Hi Sue. Thank you so much for reaching out when you did. It made my heart both ache and swell – with pain to hear you are suffering so much, and with hope to hear the effect the the letter had on you. It blows me away every time to see the impact that simple words of truth can have on people’s lives. That quote is from one of my first councillors when I was just 18. The quote has stayed with me for years, and it is a truth I am proud to share to the world. We often get so cornered by what we believe our own fates are, I have been to the ‘I can’t!’ one too many times. I have proven it wrong every time, and I have all the faith that you can too. We can.
Keep safe, and be kind to yourself. We are worth more than we know ❤️

Wow! Thank you so very much for such beautiful, kind and encouraging words. I greatly appreciate them from the very bottom of my heart. I know there are no accidents because God made me see your tweet and made me read it somehow in the morning and helped me hear your words and place them in my heart… your words touched my heart so I could set a spark of light and glimmer of hope into my life again. Your letter and post were beautiful and I want to buy that book. Love, hugs and blessings, Sue