The Illustrious Gaudissart eBook

“Yes, Monsieur; their houses are kept up in
the highest style; I may say, in prophetic style.
Superb salons, large receptions, the apex of social
life—­”

“Well,” remarked the lunatic, “the
workmen who pull things down want wine as much as
those who put things up.”

“True,” said the illustrious Gaudissart,
“and all the more, Monsieur, when they pull
down with one hand and build up with the other, like
the apostles of the ‘Globe.’”

“They want good wine; Head of Vouvray, two puncheons,
three hundred bottles, only one hundred francs,—­a
trifle.”

“How much is that a bottle?” said Gaudissart,
calculating. “Let me see; there’s
the freight and the duty,—­it will come to
about seven sous. Why, it wouldn’t be a
bad thing: they give more for worse wines —­(Good!
I’ve got him!” thought Gaudissart, “he
wants to sell me wine which I want; I’ll master
him)—­Well, Monsieur,” he continued,
“those who argue usually come to an agreement.
Let us be frank with each other. You have great
influence in this district—­”

“I should think so!” said the madman;
“I am the Head of Vouvray!”

“Well, I see that you thoroughly comprehend
the insurance of intellectual capital—­”

“Thoroughly.”

“—­and that you have measured the
full importance of the ’Globe’—­”

“Twice; on foot.”

Gaudissart was listening to himself and not to the
replies of his hearer.

“Therefore, in view of your circumstances and
of your age, I quite understand that you have no need
of insurance for yourself; but, Monsieur, you might
induce others to insure, either because of their inherent
qualities which need development, or for the protection
of their families against a precarious future.
Now, if you will subscribe to the ‘Globe,’
and give me your personal assistance in this district
on behalf of insurance, especially life-annuity,—­for
the provinces are much attached to annuities—­Well,
if you will do this, then we can come to an understanding
about the wine. Will you take the ’Globe’?”

“I stand on the globe.”

“Will you advance its interests in this district?”

“I advance.”

“And?”

“And—­”

“And I—­but you do subscribe, don’t
you, to the ’Globe’?”

“The globe, good thing, for life,” said
the lunatic.

“For life, Monsieur?—­ah, I see! yes,
you are right: it is full of life, vigor, intellect,
science,—­absolutely crammed with science,
—­well printed, clear type, well set up;
what I call ‘good nap.’ None of your
botched stuff, cotton and wool, trumpery; flimsy rubbish
that rips if you look at it. It is deep; it states
questions on which you can meditate at your leisure;
it is the very thing to make time pass agreeably in
the country.”