Our geographically challenged driver was entrusted with the task of taking the ladies of the house to my aunt’s place. For people who do not know my mother and her sister, here’s a pointer. The government constructed the Bandra-Worli sea link because my mum stays in Bandra and my aunt near Worli. I mean that is how powerful these two personalities are. Talking on phone for two hours everyday (where they discuss everything from food recipes to maid woes) is apparently not enough for them.

Since, me and my sister were also in town, we decided to go to pedamma’s (translation: mum’s elder sister) place and asked her to make our favorite dishes. She is a great cook. The phone rings early in the morning and my pedamma wants to know when we are coming over. My mum starts scolding us on the phone ‘they do not get up on time,’, ‘the maid finished her work and these people are not out of bed yet’, ‘when they get married, how will they manage’ and so on so forth. We woke up late, got ready late and dragged our lazy bums downstairs. My mum tried to make small talk with our driver but his dead pan replies irritated my mum. So we sat inside and asked him if he knew the route. He promptly replied, ‘Yes’. So, the three ladies started talking and talking and talking. Suddenly, our driver turns back and announces ‘I think I took a wrong turn somewhere’. I cursed, my sister tried to. My mum tried to mask her anger with a smile and asked him to inquire from someone the correct route. Our Sherlock Holmes of a driver’s face lights up, and he slides down the window to ask. The first guy he tries to ask seemed in some kind of hurry and shooed away our driver. It was hilarious. The other guy he tried asking, sounded more confused than us. Mumbai can do that to people. Finally, a messiah and a pretty patient one at that, provided a step by step procedure for us to get back on course. Our driver made him repeat that twice. Convinced that he now knew the way, he drove us along and all I can say is that the journey involved a lot of sliding down of windows and inquiring. When we finally reached our destination, my mum asks our driver ‘Vapas kaise jaana hai, pata hai na?’ and I burst out laughing.Seriously, my mum is priceless. In fact all mothers are.

Getting directions in India is one thing and getting directions in Mumbai is another.
If you have noticed or not, most mumabaikars have a peculiar habit.
They swing the arm to left when they say right and vice-versa. I encountered more than dozen instances.
Believe me it was hilarious once I got to know.