Am I Going to Be Single Forever?

What a weekend. I landed in Toronto on Friday night, in the midst of a G20 conference, the day after a weird an unimpressive earthquake rattled the town, and I dashed almost immediately out of the city to my uncle's wedding on a lake. Much revelry followed. But before all that there was my final bday bash in my hometown, the one to which I invited Ms. Canada. Guess what happened?

My friends all know about my obsession with bears (I love them!), so at my birthday dinner they arranged for a surprise visit from one. With friends like these, I may be OK being single my whole life.

She didn't come. I tried to take the advice of commentor Saralex, who thought it was fine of me to invite Ms. Canada, but not to be too stressed if she didn't show. I was bummed (or maybe "curious" is a better word to describe how I felt), but I still had a great time. Many of my best friends did show and we partied on the patio at Oddfellows until it closed (at which point I went home, alone).

Seeing some of my friends who are couples, like Dan and Joe, Nomi and Pet Pet, Jose and Paige, Frank and Jeremy, and Matt and Kim, made me feel the complete opposite of how I thought it would.

It really filled me with hope for my sorry single self. And that hope burgeoned further as the weekend progressed and I got to see my uncle get married as well as my brother, dad, and my cousins all delighting in their respective relationships.

It did raise the occasional moment of doubt, where I looked around I thought to myself, Maybe I'm always going to be "Crazy Uncle Jack" who lives alone in a cabin somewhere (or maybe a lighthouse, or a tree fort) and entertains the kids with my weird stories.

But for the most part, seeing all these people together, whether it had been for a month or a year or a lifetime reinforced the idea that this is ultimately something I really want. "It" being a relationship, an end to my single self.

At different times, especially as something ends, we think that maybe the effort and sacrifice isn't worth it. But then we have a weekend like the one I just had, and our faith is restored. And the search begins again.

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Do the couples around you make you inspired or depressed? Do you ever feel like you'd rather just be single forever? __