Day: August 22, 2004

A long, long time ago, my friend Mark and I got into the lyrical parody business.

Of course, the only customers were… us.

Mark attended Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. He was my best friend all through grade school and high school. I would come up to visit him and we would do crazy things like… write parody lyrics to some of our favorite songs.

OK, so maybe it wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but you gotta admit, some of them were pretty funny. Classics that came to mind were “Perish” for “Cherish” (a ditty about S&M and Bondage), “La Isla Burrito” for “Bonita” (an homage to Mexican food), and, especially “Smoke,” our take on “Vogue.”

Naturally, as you can tell, Madonna was our favorite subject. She was too easy (literally) to parody. The words just flowed through our fingertips.

Here, then is the first installment of those lyrics. Should you enjoy them, I will post more. You just have to let me know. 🙂

Smoke
By far, this one is my favorite. It just worked SO well. The premise is a bit odd, of course… and it seems to sometimes switch off between being pro-smoking and anti-smoking.. but I think we did good with it. Enjoy.

Strike a match
Strike a match
Smoke… Smoke

Look around, everywhere you turn it’s smoky
It’s everywhere that you go (Look around)
You have tried the same old thing to break that habit
A thousand times in a row (All in a row)
All else has failed but you’d still rather be
Smoking more than you did today
I know a place where you can puff away
It’s called a dancefloor
And here’s what it’s for

So come on, smoke
Ruin your lungs more to the music
Hack, hack, hack
Come on, smoke!
Let your body flow in the cloud
Way to be a chimney!!

All you need are your cigarettes and lighter
All for a buck ninety-four (Buck ninety-four)
Puff inside,
Don’t forget your exhalation
Or else you’ll drop to the floor
It makes no difference if they’re Marlboro Lights
Or a carton of Mores
If the smoke is puffing, it’ll make you feel right
But, hey don’t look now
You’re an awful sight
You know it

(Chorus)

Glamour is exciting
That is why you keep on lighting
You think it’s so wonderful
Smoking makes you feel beautiful
Magical, life’s a ball, but
Babe, you got it all wrong

You smoke
And let your lungs rot to the music
Flick your Bic
Have a stroke
And let the tar fill up your lungs
If you don’t try to stop it

Smoke
Here is where you find it
Rot to the music
Smoke
Here is where you find it
Fill up your lungs