Joel Johnson

CRAFTING is the sort of activity that anyone thinks they can do until they do it. We may have a genetic propensity for making tools, but it is easier to make another meat human than to whittle one from wood. CRAFT IN AMERICA is a 3-part television series from PBS, which is like NPR but for television and without Garrison Keillor's wattle. I HAVE NOT WATCHED IT as I find all media to be distasteful.

DARKEST AMAZON WISH LISTS may cause you EMOTIONAL TERROR! Case in point: Dateline: My porch, yesterday morning. I awoke to discover an unanticipated package! Inside was a SPINNING AMBER AMULET, suspended in a halo of silver. I was baffled, as this bauble was clearly meant to hover over a woman's bosom! Of which I possess something akin but am absent any desire to draw attention towards!

Inside, in a TINY MECHANICAL SCRIPT, a message printed from my estranged mother, who had abandoned me as a child! It was then I was possessed of a feeling antipodal to wonder: HEARTBREAK. For the amulet had been added by mine own hand...as a gift for the ladyfriend from whom I have so recently been estranged!

ANOTHER NETBOOK BOOM, asks ZDNet's Larry Dignan, as fueled by Intel's Atom overhaul? I HAVE AN ANSWER: NO. When you are talking about shitbird performance then 20% more bird is still shitbird. These are just little NETTHINGS. Hard masses of COMPUTERING LUMPEN. A convenient place to KEEP YOUR KEYBOARD. Commodities! They will ebb and flow with the tide of consumer desire but a minor spec boost will not be BOOMING anything.

Also who would buy a netbook right now unless they didn't know about the Apple Tablet? Wouldn't you want to at least WAIT AND SEE? Even the guy with the baritone voice who serves me cheesed-burgers on Wednesday evenings who really prefers jazz to food I suspect was all like, "I kind of want to get my pops a Kindle but I should wait to see what Apple does. They are like magic!" I swear to god this is what the average cheesed-burger man on the street is saying right now. Not "I hear netbooks got sort of faster!"

SLIGHT TONAL DISCREPANCIES may matter, just as certain keys seem "sadder" than others (HELLO D MINOR) but I'd still argue the interval is the dominant emotional factor in music, ignoring, of course, rhythm.

IMAGINE APPLE TV NOT SUCKING but instead being a gateway a subscription television model that would rival cable. I would consider this less for my HDTV content, but for having an easy, seamless sync down to my iPhone every morning. (Yes, I could AUTOMATE it, but I have not.)

"WHILE GLENN BECK has meet with former Presidents, had dinners with Governors and played with dolls at a Super Bowl party - there is one thing he's never done, he's never been the owner of a a Mercedes S600. Now is your chance to real make a difference in someone's life." Make your donation from 2003 today! (Please to be expecting a similar campaign drive here in the pages of BLOTTO in the future!)