ignore dog hairs above. that is my lot in life... to be covered in my own hair and Pierre's hair.

This is what's on my mind lately:

trash I've been thinking a lot about literal garbage for the past couple of months and it's one of those topics that overwhelms me. There is so. much. shit. We make trash to package trash - think about it! And so much of it is useless and it's being burned and affecting the atmosphere and the people around it, or it's being dumped in oceans and affecting animals and just turning the ocean or rivers or lakes into wastelands, it's being just thrown into landfills where it will stay for hundreds of years, maybe more. Ughhhh! I'm thinking a lot about the small steps I can take at home and in my workplace to make things just a fraction of a bit better. Suggestions?

business Jon Paul and I we're on a road trip back from NY last weekend and since we were being kinda pissy with each other, we turned to a podcast so we didn't have to talk. Turned out to be just what we needed because it got us really excited and brainstorming! The podcast is How I Built This, where the host, Guy Raz, interviews the founders of big businesses like Lyft, Chipotle, Patagonia, my favorite episode so far: Edible Arrangements (the founder comes from flower shop roots!). It is so inspiring to to listen to how people built their businesses, ideas, brands, etc. Now I'm thinkin': what's the next big thing in the flower industry??

animals This one is kind of personal, and something I struggle with, like I think I may have some kind of condition that needs medical attention(??) I'll tell you what it is: sometimes, usually when I'm cooking or using some kind of tool or something, I start to think about how someone has probably tortured an animal doing "xyz." Or I think about how some are scared and alone in cages on farms. Or how some are sick and in pain, but can't tell us and they have to live like that. I get so sad and frustrated and helpless and I don't know what to do so I start spiraling into like a black hole of horrendous thoughts, that I basically end up torturing myself. Sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing and cry to get myself out of it. It's awful! I really, really love animals and they are helpless creatures that truly live on our mercy and help. I just don't know what to do about saving them all. And I don't know what to do about my mini episodes of extreme stress relating to this. Does this happen to anyone else? Is this a thing? BUT I do want to throw out there that I do cook meat in my home from time to time, I would say about once a week. So I'm not a saint, but this is something that still very much bothers me!!

worry This kind of relates to the above. I don't know what a healthy amount of worry is. I worry about trash, animals, people in persecution, babies, elderly, sick, nature... basically PLANET FREAKING EARTH and all the humans and creatures on it! But what does worry do? Yes, it gets people on their butts to help, which I think is great, that's how stuff gets done. But what if you are doing what you financially and physically can, and you still find yourself worrying all the time? I feel like I'm in an unhealthy place of worry, but I also feel really selfish and careless when I'm not worrying - realistically I know that my worry and fear isn't doing anything productive, but I just don't know. I was talking to an Uber driver about it a while ago, and she urged me to please never stop worrying. She also said I may be her long lost daughter...

ps. I'm realizing now as I read back on this, I sound kinda like a "holier than thou, all I ever do is worry about the children of the Earth, blah blah, blah." NOT accurate, I have very petty, selfish, thoughts... quite often, but this is stuff that I think about on a daily basis and sometimes not in a healthy and productive way. Wanted to get this down on paper for reflection.