I'd rather be having a quiet drink... and can be followed on Twitter @alcothusiast; and friended on Untappd (handle: "neilcake" - all welcome).

Friday, 30 May 2014

Another Christmas in the Canada

So the missus and I
have been on our travels again. Yeh, this time it was back to Canada for
Christmas with the in-laws. I won’t be doing a play-by-play (at least that’s
not the intention), but we do have a lot to get through, so let’s knuckle down,
shall we?

Canada, home of the
moose. Where, judging by the clothes, people are an unusual shape – I was once
given a Canadian hoody as a gift (that said “Salty” on the front in big
letters) which had extra-long arms and hand holes that were too small for my
hands, but then bloused over the biceps. The head hole was similarly too tight,
but there was definite blousing over the chest. It all suggested this
particular cut was for an effete superhero, someone big of chest and bicep, but
small of head and hands – Captain Salty, presumably. That’s not to mention all
the shirts my brother-in-law gets for me that are – get this – slim fit, and of
the correct neck measurement, but for some reason are MASSIVE. MASSIVE! And I’m
6 foot 3.

I tried to wear one
of the shirts to work recently, with just a jumper. Looking in the mirror, I
turned to Mrs Cake and asked, “is the collar
on this shirt humourously large?” I
looked like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, only with shit hair, stubble
and dark circles under my eyes.

Anyway! I was very
much looking forward to going back to Calgary, and to getting away from work
for an extended period. Sure, I knew there were going to be awkward moments,
even dull ones, but that would be offset by the fun times and by the alcohol.
Yes. It was a chance to delve a little deeper into the world of Canadian
whisky. I had planned to delve a little into American bourbon too, but that
didn’t happen. So, Canadian whisky.

Too much just isn’t an option this time

Better too much than not enough, I am known to say. I even abbreviate it to BTMTNE. Repeat that to yourself a few
times, get used to it. It takes a bit of practice.

Sadly, there is such
a thing as too much when you’re talking about just the right amount of booze booze
to drink for the duration of your holiday. You don’t want to be leaving some
behind, or trying to stretch your meagre weight/space allowance to covering
half empty (I mean, half full) bottles you weren’t able to finish. Or just
chugging it down to get it out of the way… unless you’re a Neanderthal. You’re
not a Neanderthal, are you? No, this blog is about enjoying alcohol in a relaxed,
sophisticated way (most of the time. Sometimes. Well, it’s supposed to be…)

So, two and a half
weeks. That would be spent at various people’s houses, in various places, beer
would tend to be available… one bottle of whisky should suffice, right? One?

Mrs Cake and I took
a stroll through the snow to the Liquor Depot in Woodbine, Calgary that same
day we arrived. We had a few hours to kill before we could permit ourselves to
go to bed (in an attempt to defeat jetlag), and a small mission was just the job.

The moustachioed
assistant was very enthusiastic in recommending Lot 40, a single pot still rye that he said was good enough to fool
the casual scotch drinker (we’ll see about that), but at 50 dollars it wasn’t
in my plans just yet. I wanted something cheap, since I was going to be
drinking it all in a short space of time – relative to how quickly I normally
drink my spirits, which is around 3 months, but then I always have several
bottles on the go at once…

My choice was
Alberta Springs 10 (40% ABV), which I’d read some good things about in my
pre-trip research. It was something around 25 Canadian dollars for 75cl, and I
worked it out at the time to be equivalent to £16.19, so that’s pretty cheap.
Sometime later I found that I could have gotten it even cheaper from another
liquor store, but the Liquor Depot was the only one available to me at that
time. And it doesn’t seem to matter as much when you’re dealing in currencies
that aren’t as valuable as your own.

To my immense
surprise, it didn’t take me very long to drink this at all. Seriously, I really
thought it might last the whole holiday. I didn’t even open it on the first
night, opting instead to polish off a few beers that had been in the
mother-in-law’s fridge since my last visit two years ago, and then try the
Finlandia vodka that was part of the welcoming committee she pulled out of the
cupboard and instructed me to help dispose of.

Nevertheless it
lasted about a week. The killer was the third evening at Mrs Cake’s dad’s where
I brought it out on our return from an ice hockey match. He usually brings the
booze out, but I don’t like to take liberties, so rather than wait I just put
the Alberta Springs on the table and Mrs Cake and her dad both joined me in
indulging and then refilling. He even liked it, which surprised me a little as
he only seems to like Glenmorangie – and he
always drinks it with ice.

On our arrival, two
days previously he had brought out all the bottles he wanted me to help him
dispose of – you see, people seem to keep bringing him peaty stuff, and he
doesn’t like it. I got to finish off bottles of Bruichladdich Peat and Highland
Park 12 – as well as try a sampler bottle of Glenmorangie Nectar D’Or, which he
had a few of (it seems you got them free with the Original over there).

I was pleased to be
able to finish the Highland Park, but you may remember from a pre-Christmas post (though that was an extraordinarily long time ago now) that I
had advised Mrs Cake to buy him a bottle of that for Christmas. Fail. We ended up going to the liquor
store later (before the planned Christmas with her father – Christmas is
complicated with broken families) and getting his favourite, while I would be
taking the Highland Park we had bought back home with me – every cloud, indeed.

As for the Bruichladdich;
well, I like Bruichladdich, but I wasn’t all that impressed with this
expression. Shame. It’s possible it had been sitting in his booze cupboard
(already open) for a couple of years.

With Christmas Eve
and Christmas Day with the brother-in-law (Brian) and family approaching, and
then a couple of nights in the mountains, I knew I was going to get a chance to
try another cheap brand. We went to the budget Liquor Superstore where there was a brand at nearly 45% ABV for
only 18 dollars. Well, you know me; I was tempted because I like to try the
cheap shit – especially if it is particularly strong (which it never is), but
instead I went for the Canadian ’83, which I’ve seen attributed to Seagram’s,
though nowhere is that name mentioned on the label – or indeed anywhere on the
funky, dimpled bottle. It is a standard 40% ABV, and this time the 75cl cost
around 20 Canadian dollars, which I worked out to be £12.38.

It stood by my side
as Brian and I constructed a Barbie dream house for two hours on Christmas Eve.
It fuelled me through the obligatory all-day Christmas session, where at the
end, I still felt sober enough to
drive (though I didn’t drive, incidentally). It accompanied us to Canmore,
where we were based for my first ever skiing trip, and lasted all the way to
New Year’s Eve - our last night, that we spent with friends playing Cards Against Humanity.

I suppose you must
be wondering what the verdict is on these two products. Were they any good?
Which is best? Well, first let me apologise for failing to get any tasting
notes down – I didn’t manage to get anything specific, but I can tell you, for
the minimal outlay, they are very good. Of the two, I did prefer the Alberta
Springs. It elicited the most consistent response from my tastebuds with its
reliably sweet complexity.

By contrast I’m not
sure what was going on with the ’83. On some occasions it was flat and
uninteresting, while on others a pleasant sweetness emerged that I could enjoy almost
as much as its predecessor.

Even so, the Alberta
Springs wasn’t able to break into my top 3 of Canadian whiskies (in ranking
order; Crown Royal Black, Crown Royal, Windsor Canadian), all of which are
encouragingly affordable, though Crown Royal Black pushes the envelope
slightly. I was able to bring a couple of Canadian whiskies back with me, as
we’ll see in the next section, so maybe one of those will.

That’s all from me
for this week. I’m off to Spain this weekend to hopefully replenish my stocks
of brandy, orujo and absinthe, as well as pick up a Duty Free only Highland
Park… and spend time with my family, of course! So I might be back posting next
weekend, when we’ll look at Part 2…

Definitions

What happens when you zone out after having had a cheeky lunchtime pint.

Alcothusiast:

Not an alcoholic, someone who appreciates booze.

Anxiety, The:

The uneasy feeling that accompanies any noteworthy hangover.

Booze Buffet Mentality:

The propensity people have to go nuts whenever there's a free bar.

Booze Porn:Photos of alcohol.

Bread Chest:Not booze related, but this term describes the indigestion you get from eating too many bread products too quickly. Just putting it out there...

Crawler's Block:The inability to decide where to go next during a pub crawl - often resulting in crawl stagnation and someone saying, "shall we just have another one here?"

Crawl Stagnation:The result of failing to plan a pub crawl sufficiently - lack of a route, theme or over-familiarity with nearby pubs can all be contributing factors.

Excess Induced Alcohol Aversion:An intolerance for a drink caused (usually) by one occasion of overindulgence.

The Family:My whisky collection.

MOMA:

Moment of Maximum Appreciation. Every bottle has one. It's the time you drink it where you enjoy it most.

Old Man Pub:Traditional British pub, renowned for being quiet, cosy and frequented by old men. Much favoured by people who like a nice chat while they drink.Psychological Drinks Cabinet:Collective term relating to the kinds of alcoholic drinks a person has need for.Road Beers:

Cans of beer that you take with you when you go out, to consume on the way.

The 3 Types of Rum:White, gold and dark. Together they form the base of many a great cocktail.

About Me

Neil Cake is interested in all types of booze, but is by no means an authority or expert. Most of the time he's just trying to be funny, but he is learning, and enjoys sharing his adventures and what he learns on the Drink it How You Like it blog.
Thengyuverrymuuuuuch.