Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more

Download & Play

Questions

Newspaper Page Text

fafiW30L$BUT
"WP0OR TEST,
nNJDUw vjRe y
BjfSP
h liiM n mi
APPEARANCES ARE MISLEADING
Trade was rather slack and the day very warm, as
a loudly dressed individual stepped into a large gentle
man's outfitting establishment. The heat of the day
and the stuffy atmosphere did not make for the best
of tempers among the assistants.
The overdressed one approached the counter, and,
in an imperious tone, uttered one word:
"Neckties."
A jadded-looking assistant immediately displayed
the latest patterns, but the youth, after gazing at them
in a supercilious manner, laconically remarked:
"More."
The snobbish air displayed rather nettled the as
sistant, but, winking at a colleague, he -quietly brought;
forward other ties
"These," he said very politely, "are excellent qual
ity at a half dollar."
"A half dollar!" the customer snapped "haughtily.
"Do I look like a man who would wear a half dollar
tie? Is there anything about me. to indicate that?"
"I beg your pardon," meekly Interposed the as
sistant, "the 25-cent counter is at the other end of the
store."
SEEING IS BELIEVING
The weather was wet Business had been bad.
Hence Parmer Giles, never amiable, was even more
irascible, than usuaL
As he stepped down from the cart on his return
home from the market, he noticed a lantern-light
moving about near his kitchen premises, and proceed
ed at once to make investigations.
To his surprise he discovered a yokelj lantern in
hand, talking with his niece.
"What's your business here?" demanded Farmer
Giles peremptorily. "
"I be come a-courtin,!, master."
"Comea-what?" "- ,
'lA-courtin', sir. I be a-courtm' Mary."
3t'sahe. You've come here thieving. Ton know
ym havej&jNo man goes courting with a lantern. At
any rateKnever did."
"No, sir-,"1 replied the yokel quietly, "I shouldn't
think so, judguV by the missus!"
o o
On one occasion a -well-known manager went to
the theater for the express purpose of encouraging a
young actor who had. shown signs of nervousness fn a
new part When the promising young man made his
exit into the wings, perspiration was streaming down
.hisrface. The manager looked at him for a moment
ana then said, in tones of intense admiration: "How
. welt your .skinlactsr t
jjjm