Follow The Fear: Do Things That Scare You

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I used to think that being afraid of everything was a weakness. Then I learned how to “follow the fear,” and use fear to my advantage.

This is an annotated version of a talk I gave on the Bold Talks stage at Hubspot‘s Inbound ’13 event. Right now, I’m tempted to publish the essay that became the basis for this talk. But instead, I’ll think I’ll just give you the slide deck. It more efficiently tells the story of why a “Bold Talk” pushed me out of my comfort zone.

(Speaking publicly about content marketing is a piece of cake. Speaking publicly about myself? Not so much!)

(Note: This might be best viewed in Full Screen mode. But maybe your eyes can handle it. Your call.)

Debbie Millman for sharing that John Madea quote and articulating in her work what I’ve felt in a vague way, but couldn’t quite grok until I read it;

and Tim Washer for introducing me to the work of actor, writer and improv teacher Del Close, who coined the phrase “Follow the Fear.” I don’t know if Del meant to apply it the way I ultimately did. But I don’t think he’d mind.

And finally: Big thanks to Laura Fitton for inviting me to Inbound ’13, and equally big thanks to Hubspot for scaring me senseless. In the best possible way.

Is it possible you have your next book topic, Annie? I can see it now… your own unique insight and wisdom written with the transparency and sometimes sardonic humor of David Sedaris, the frank warmth of Ruth Reichel and the poignant life insights I’d find with Annie Lamott. You are amazing. Thank you for following the fear and encouraging me to do the same. XO.

Ann, thanks for sharing this thinking with those of us who weren’t there that day. I wish every 6th grader, high schooler, college graduate, teacher/professor, repressed artist, parent, grandparent and clergyperson could read this.

I loved – LOVED – your list of fears from when you were a child. It seems hauntingly similar (in scope, that is) to my current list of fears. What struck me is the fact that my brain seems to find more and more to fear *if I stop to think about it*. My trick is to diffuse fear using humor – my way of whistling in the dark.

And I adored (as you knew I would) Simon’s insights. That dog? Fuzzy sage.

Great post and presentation Ann. Your diary of fears sounds eerily familiar, although, I do remember being a lot more extroverted in my youth, and introversion has crept up on me these last few years. I really like that part about Simon, and assuming everyone loves you. I need to keep this in mind as I navigate the geo-political landscape that is corporate America.

Tremendous post! Somehow it’s comforting to you know you of all people had a fear of…well…people. I would never guess it. I loved the slide about Simon too. That is such a great tip. My dog Piper is the same – warm, bubbly and assumes everyone loves him. They also don’t take things too seriously.

At any rate, great post and slide deck. Wished I could’ve heard you at #cmworld this year…there were too many good sessions all happening at the same time!

Thanks for sharing your story of great fear and following your fear, choosing not to opt out of sharing your wisdom. Yours is an important story and post. It was my story, and that of many other talented and sensitive people.

Because I had so much fear and anxiety about speaking and being seen, I was driven to create a way of transforming it for myself and others. In 1989, I started facilitating people to transform their stage fright and fear of public speaking by guiding them to follow the flow of fear in the body at the center of attention in a supportive group. I learned that when you follow the flow of fear with acceptance, fear turns into a bodily-felt sense of presence and even excitement to share one’s ideas.

The Zimmer Method eventually became a process for learning to be seen for who you are in front of others. Rather than critiquing speakers for what they are doing wrong, we acknowledge them for who they are and what they do well. It sets them free to speak authentically. The combination of consciously following the flow of fear and positive mirroring helps people relax and become present at the center of attention. Speaking starts to flow from a deep connection to self and so gets easy.

In my research, it became clear that people who have the most fear of speaking can become the most amazing speakers because they have the feelings. Their feelings are up to the surface where they can be used to create a genuine emotional connection with listeners.

If your readers are interested, they can learn more at http://www.self-expression.com. My book is “It’s Your Time to Shine” which can be found at amazon.com.

Thanks for your open-hearted sharing about learning to use your fear for the good. Seems like people are discovering the power of fear as a path to transformation. As Marianne Williamson said, “When you are liberated form your own fear, you automatically give others permission to do the same.” You are giving us permission to be who we authentically are. Bravo!

About Ann

This is Ann Handley's website, and this is a bit of copy about her. She is best-selling author, social media and content marketing keynote speaker, the Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs, and a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur magazine. That's not giving you a lot of detail, is it? So read more here.