The Charge

"Lead the way, you stupid junkie whore!"—Principal Onyx
Blackman.

Opening Statement

The third and final round of Comedy Central's envelope-pushing,
decency-skewering after-school-special parody arrives on DVD—and Jerri
Blank and her cronies are ready to go out in a blaze of…well, just a blaze
actually.

Facts of the Case

For this swan song season, forty year-old Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris) will face
ten more episodes' worth of adolescent problems. A former doper, stripper,
hooker, and loser, Blank decided to return to Flatpoint High and finish up her
education. Aided by history teacher Chuck Noblet (Steven Colbert, The Daily
Show), self-involved art teacher Geoffrey Jellineck (Paul Dinello), and the
power-hungry Principal Blackman (Greg Hollimon), Jerri will traverse the
treacherous terrain of STDs, racism, sexual harassment, peer pressure, and
family life.

And nothing will be sacred.

The Evidence

I'm a big fan of this series. It's my favorite Comedy Central offering, and
one of my favorite TV comedies overall. Sure, I find the writing uneven; but the
hits far outweigh the misses. When coupled with memorable characters and
absolutely zero respect for anything (there is no "taboo" in the
universe of Flatpoint High), the result is an
envelope-balling-up-and-lighting-on-fire parody of high school.

Taking a look at the ten episodes, we find:

• "Jerri's Burning Issue" Jerri learns she has contracted
syphilis after a routine rendezvous in the back of a cab with a strange man, and
is reluctant to tell her cool, new boyfriend for fear of getting dumped. Along
the way, she meets an amiable doctor with a disturbing, yet informative STD
filmstrip, suspects Jellineck and Noblet may have contracted something as well
(considering the cold sores on their face, which are roughly the size of
Taiwan), and is nominated the queen of the ball. But does she come
"clean" about her affliction and risk alienation, or face the burning
sensation head on?

This is perhaps the most cringe-worthy episode of the set. The sight of
Jellineck's face alone is enough to clean out my stomach contents. Grade:
B

• "Trail of Tears" When Jerri's stepmother drops a
bombshell—that she's adopted and her real mother was Native
American—Jerri must come to terms with her new-found ethnicity. She heads
to a Native American camp, lorded over by Bob Whitely (Will Ferrell), and learns
about shooting arrows into Pilgrim women, dealing cards, smoking from the peace
bong, and painting her face. Confused, she turns to a secret smoke signal
message left by her mother. Will she embrace her culture?

As politically incorrect as you can get, this episode parades every Native
American cliché out there, and does so in such outrageous fashion that
nothing can be taken seriously. The final sequence, which finds Jerri as the
lone Indian in a school play, is notable for its callousness. ("Save me
Satan!") And Will Ferrell as a camp director? Priceless. Grade:
A-

• "Is Freedom Free?" An assignment for Freedom Week leads
to an impromptu nude photo session for Jerri. When she tries to submit the photo
("That looks like two longshoremen fighting over a squirrel") in the
"Freedom Cage," it's rejected by Blackman and a maniacal priest,
played by Dylan Baker. Jellineck sticks up for Jerri—well, really, sticks
up for himself—and convinces her to go on a hunger strike. As the school
watches Jerri's protest, the administration pulls out all the stops to end the
display, eventually settling things with a plate of fudge.

Strangers with Candy is notable for its surprising array of guest
stars. Baker's character is a standout—self-involved priest who volunteers
his crucifix to bludgeon Jerri. Yep, that's the kind of show we're dealing with
here, people. Grade: B+

• "Invisible Love" Jerri is involved in a clandestine
relationship with a super-popular jock, who doesn't want the world to know
anything about it. Jerri complies, meeting him secretly in vent shafts, garbage
cans, behind the dumpster, and incognito in the science classroom. With the
school's annual Make-Out party approaching, Jerri must choose between her
dignity and her horniness.

This episode is great, and contains the creepiest sequence of the series
(and possible of any series ever). Jerri's best friend Tammy is urging her to
assert herself in the secret relationship, and points to her own relationship
with the science teacher as an example. Watching Tammy make out with the science
teacher at the big Make-Out party is, simply put, awful. Grade: A

• "Is My Daddy Crazy?" Stu, Jerri's "stepmother's
lover," has embraced Jerri as his own child. For the first time, Jerri
feels loved! However, it also appears Stu is losing his mind; muttering about
the Red Squad, stapling cheese to the roof of the house, and beating Jerri's
stepbrother Derek. With "What My Father Does for Work Day"
approaching, Jerri yearns to have Stu come to class. But rumors of his madness
have spread, and everyone fears for their lives, especially after learning Stu
flung a hot pizza at Noblet's face and was hauled off to the institution. But
Jerri has a possible solution—and it involves a hand-drill.

A so-so episode with a few very funny moments—the educational film
about insanity, Noblet's encounter with the pizza, and a surreal moment of goat
slaughter. Grade: B-

• "Blank Relay" Yearning for a victory, Jerri and her track
teammates decide to take steroids to enhance their performance. Principal
Blackman, blissfully unaware and consumed with competitive fervor himself, casts
a blind eye to the obvious after-effects of the performance
enhancers—particularly, the long, flowing beards.

Girls running track with beards. What more do you want? Grade: B+

• "Ask Jerri" When Noblet tries to revive the student
newspaper, he enlists the help of Jerri and her upstart advice column. Jerri
opts, however, to issue the worse possible advice she can muster, resulting in
quasi-anarchy at Flatpoint. Meanwhile, a rift between Jellineck and Noblet leads
to a bitter argument, one that has the potential to turn homicidal.

Any episode with copious Noblet and Jellineck is fine with me. These two are
more visible in this episode, and Noblet's editorial process is hilarious.
("Why don't you go research me up a blueberry scone?") Grade:
A-

• "There Once Was a Blank from Nantucket" Sexual harassment
is this week's theme. Jerri, usually fond of the demeaning names she
receives from the fellas, decides to take a stand, especially when a new guy
enters her life. At the big jazz concert, she will face, head on, the specter of
verbal abuse.

One of my least favorite shows in the bunch, this episode's highlights
include Derek wrestling a girl and Jerri's big statement at the end of the jazz
concert. Ho-hum. Grade: C

• "Bully" Jellineck and Jerri must confront their own
bullies: a homophobic violence-prone substitute teacher and a butch girl with
fists of fury, respectively. While their peers cry out for blood, the two decide
to stick up for pacifism—but only for so long.

Light on the Noblet, but heavy on the Jellineck, this installment in Jerri's
saga is memorable for the sheer violence. The beating Jellineck takes at the end
is priceless, as are the lessons both he and Jerri learn. Grade: A

• "The Last Temptation of Blank" Ah, the series finale.
Jerri partakes in the number one teen-movie/show cliché of all
time—the ugly duckling makeover. Fran (Winona Ryder), the coolest girl
ever, agrees to a challenge: giving Jerri the full treatment. Of course, Jerri
has to get rid of all her friends in the process. Does she abandon her
relationships and hang out with the resident hunk (Paul Rudd), or stay true to
her friends? Well, she may not have that much time to decide, as Jellineck,
Noblet, and Blackman prepare for anarchy when they learn Flatpoint School is
about to be turned into a strip mall.

A fine finale that is bursting at the seams with guest stars. Ryder is funny
(and hot!) Rudd is typically great, portraying a cool slacker dude. And then
you've got cameos by Janeane Garofalo, Mark McKinney, and Cheri Oteri. Good
stuff. Grade: A

The show is presented in its original full-frame aspect ratio, and gets a
sharp transfer from Comedy Central. Sound is "meh," as usual for these
types of shows. A few extras come with the set, none nearly as cool as those on
its predecessors. Sadly, there are no commentaries or making-of features; all
you get is a gag reel, a dopey dance sequence compilation (from the end
credits), and a storyboard comparison of the opening credits. Blah.

Closing Statement

Finally, Comedy Central's cult after-school special send-up is complete. For
fans of surreal, subversive comedy I recommend this series. It's not for
everyone, but nothing is. I don't what that means.

The Verdict

A passing grade, though the lack of extras will and the accused a week of
detention.

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