Stick a fork in it

onion

He said, “simmer sauce” when asked about curry. I felt that if I had fur that would rise when threatened, it would have been locked and loaded. Unaware of my sensitivity to curry, I think I’ve moved beyond M. Patek and his simmer sauce companions. Cheap turmeric with cumin buddies and preservatives are no match for curry made with freshly roasted or ground, or roasted and ground spices. So simple, so available yet passed by, pushed aside by stomaches in search of ready-meals. Look, if you want to sizzle up sex in a pan, it will involve onions, garlic and ginger. Throw this melange at any protein be it beef, pork, tofu or chickpeas, you will arrive at yum. An amazing yum. A yum so strong you might feel like staying a bit longer. Add ground cumin and a bit of ground coriander. Don’t forget the salt. And whoops, there go the panties. Follow up with some cardamom ice cream and you have, well I don’t know what you have, but you’re on your way.

I don’t care if I’ve said this before, but please, friends, don’t let friends use “simmer sauce.” They’ll say they don’t have the time. They’ll say they don’t have the recipe. This is shit. Pull it together, pick up your life and make curry from scratch. Make curry with love. Make curry with the spices they are ready for. This sex is on fire. All you need to do is start with onions, garlic and ginger.

This pork is Delectable Pork in a Mustard Spice Mix. I didn’t even have the mustard seed and it worky so goody.

Sure it’s a tit freezing day in Seattle. Sure finding charcoal amongst candy canes, fruitcake and brass plated golf tees can be trying. But leave it to Emily, our master chef of the day, to wrangle the crowds scouting out banana leaves, choice duck breast and put out a 3-D cookie with style.

The fancy beans and banana leaves were picked up at our local Asian grocer de especial Uwajimaya. A place so fine you can pick up what’s for dinner and still leave with some Cream Collon and Totoro books.

To warm things up a bit, Emily lit the coals and cracked open Kirkland’s finest champagne.

Rachel popped by as well and a champagne taste off commenced. Veuve Clicquot vs Costco’s Kirkland Signature Champagne. Kirkland was up first.

Shockingly nice. Good bubble. Another sip is well deserved. Both Rachel and Emily sported the frown nod for Kirkland’s finest. Veuve Clicquot next, huh, a bit bitter. Nice, but how much nicer than Kirkland? Worth extra change for the privilege of advertisement? Both seemed to be solid bottles of mass produced, non-vintage champagne. One bottle starts at forty bucks while the other a mere twenty.

Then the duck was on. Duck fat doing it’s duck fat thing agitated the coals and we had ourselves an impressive flame.

Carrot girl handed our master chef the carrots and the grill was lidded. After a rest and a failed attempt at a foil bird, the green onions were on. The flames are hot, so don’t go for a refill. Minus a few casualties, the onions were perfect. The sweet tango of duck, caramelized carrot and grilled green onions danced in the mouths of these girls as the morsels were eaten –no- devoured and washed down with a fine bottle of generic champagne.

Quick shoe break as the Endless shipment arrived (free overnight shipping oh maw gaw!! If loving Endless is wrong GIRL, I don’ wanna be rightah) and it’s on to dessert.

Emily quickly whipped up some dessert tamales with sweet red beans and a surprise date all snuggled with masa then bundled and tucked in a banana leaf. After a little sit on the grill, these little babies came out steamy hot and melted in the mouth. Another impressive concoction to dazzle and amaze your friends. And easy to boot!

Rachel’s inner chocolate daemon scouted out some frozen brownie bites. This led to grilled brownie done two ways. Version one, straight up brownie on grill action. Version two, hey! banana leaves! … let’s stick some in here!

The straight up brownie was warm and tasty, but quite dry. The banana leaf version was warm, moist yet had this banana leaf overtone that impersonated green tea. Not this girl’s style.

Okay, so the duck breast, carrot, green onion combo plate converged on a Grand Canyon at sunset color, the taste was FABULOUS. Emily closed down the fall barbeque season with sass. And in true Girl On Grill Action™ form, she walked in the door and it was on.