Tuesday, 10 January 2012

6 discounted gift ideas

Lulu are running a January sale. Very nice of them. Or it would be if the discount applied to me. But it doesn't. Just to you lot. You jammy bastards.

Until January 31st 2012 you can get 25% off (maximum saving £50) by entering this coupon code when you order:

LULUBOOKUK305

Here are 6 great ways to use that discount:

Gift Idea #1: Mild!

It's two in one today. Not only have I nicked the idea from this post of Stephen Beaumont, I'm also pushing one of my own books.

Christmas is a time for giving. And as I'd like to give my own kids food this Christmas, why not help me out? Buy a copy (or several) of "Mild!" for a loved one or even yourself. How else will you ever be able to drop something like "Did you know all early 19th-century Milds were pale in colour?" or "The role invert sugar in 1930's Dark Mild cannot be underestimated." into your yuletide conversation?

"Mild!" is the definitive history of Mild Ale (at least until I finish "Mild!+"), told through numbers, numbers, tables, more numbers, loads of quotes and the occasional joke of dubious quality.

Gift Idea #2: Porter!

This is perfect. Not only do I get to boost my post count for the year, I might even squeeze out a few extra book sales.

"Porter!" is the definitive history of . . .hang on, Itried that one last time . . . "Porter!"tells the story of Porter in a unique and charming way, from its murky begins in 18th century London, through its decline and near extinction all the way to its glorious revival st the end of the 20th. A two-century romp that will take you to Dublin, India, Australia and even Philadelphia.

Listen to what the critics have to say about "Porter!":

"Please don't hit me with the book again. It weighs a ton. What did you want me to say? . . . . OK. Porter is the bestest book ever written in history of the universe about Porter. Will you get off my chest now?"
D. Hornbusch.

"Much better than those crappy books in the Classic Beer Styles series. Can I have my tenner now?"
Charlie Australian.

""Porter!" will be a treasure for future generations of your family, an heirloom to be stored carefully and occasionally taken out and caressed."
A. Madeupname.

Don't be a fool to yourself. Buy "Porter!" today! And again tomorrow. And maybe even the day after.

Gift Idea #3: Decoction!

What can I say about "Decoction!" that hasn't already been said? Pretty much anything as no-one has ever said bugger all about it.

Mini Book Series volume IV, "Decoction!" is a celebration of central European beer. It covers tricky and poorly documented topics such as Lager styles, methods of decoction mashing, extinct German top-fermenting styles and more detail on Berliner Weisse in English than anywhere else.

It's a handy companion to the Oxford Companion to Beer, for those worried about little details such as accuracy and completeness. A full set of my books is certainly a more reliable reference than the OCB, if a tad more expensive. But at least the money goes to poor starving children (Andrew and Lexie) rather than the rapacious OUP.

Gift Idea #4: War!

War uh, what is it good for? Keeping bloody teenagers off the streets and finding a socially acceptable outlet for the murderous proclivities.

Wonder what that grey thing is on the cover? It's one of those crappy German WW I tanks. I thought it was a minimalist tombstone first time I saw it. "It's one of those crappy German WW I tanks." Andrew said.

Like a low-quality music hall performer, I'll leave you with a song:

Lloyd George's beer, Lloyd George's beer,
At the brewery, there's nothing doing,
All the water-works are brewing,
Lloyd George's beer, it isn't dear
Oh they say it is a terrible war, Oh Lor'
And there never was a war like this before
But the worst thing that ever happened in this war
Is Lloyd George's beer.

Gift idea #5: London!

Taking an idea and running it into the ground. That's one one of my specialities. Along with crappy jokes and numbers.

Talking of which - crappy jokes and numbers - "London!" is jam-pack full of both. Oh yes, indeedy. They're packed in there like herring in a barrel (a little Dutch idiom for you there).

"London!" is a celebration of brewing in London . . . hang on, I've already used that one. It's a compendium of capital delights. Want to learn about Whitbread's beers in excruciating detail? It's the book for you. Or that very special loved one. I'd be giving Dolores a copy, except she said "Don't try fobbing me off with one of your rubbishy books as a present." What better endorsement could you get than that?