Everyone in Liberty Heights is invited to LouAnn’s party. Dress as an Adams. Nobody can figure out why LouAnn chose such a peculiar theme, and the town’s residents wrack their brains for costumes representing famous characters named Adams. That doesn’t include the gate crashers; sister BettyAnn, now a bonafide member of Registered Witches of America, and her new boyfriend who’s practicing to be a vampire. Then there’s the uninvited costumed guest who plans to use the party to murder LouAnn, but this is Liberty Heights, where the unexpected usually happens.

Who’s trying to kill LouAnn? Why? How do the folks in Liberty Heights prevent a murder? Celebrate Halloween—Liberty Heights style.

Excerpt

Lou Ann slipped the trays loaded with individual quiches into the oven. Wayne barked and charged toward the back door, skidding on the floor before he crashed into the wooden frame.

LouAnn straightened her back and frowned. The beagle growled.

“Unexpected guest? Really? I’m not surprised. I wonder how gatecrashers find out about great parties so fast,” LouAnn commented.

The back door slammed open, and a woman dressed in black leggings, matching T-shirt, and a military cap with the yellow letters “Registered Witches of America” etched on its brim glared at Wayne.

“Couldn’t you keep your mouth shut? I wanted to surprise LouAnn.”

LouAnn’s heavily mascaraed lashes flew up, and her mouth formed an O.

“BettyAnn? Wow! What great timing.”

BettyAnn minced into the kitchen on three-inch spike heels, clicking the floor as she staggered toward her sister.

“The most important holiday of the year, and you thought I wouldn’t come? Didn’t Mom always say family first?”

LouAnn hugged her sister who was much taller thanks to the high-heeled shoes. She peered over BettyAnn’s shoulder at a shadowy figure lingering in the doorway.

“Who’s that?”

BettyAnn pulled back, teetered, and caught her balance on a ladder-back chair.

“Boy, these shoes are killing my feet, but my boyfriend is so tall, I need the extra height,” Betty Ann bragged.

“Boyfriend? Wow, you never said a word,” LouAnn said. Politely, she kept to herself that it had been light years since BettyAnn had a date, let alone a boyfriend. That always struck LouAnn as odd, since everyone in the family considered her sister the really smart one. The only smart one, to be honest. On the other hand, intelligence could be a handicap. Perhaps men were intimidated by brains. Still, being a witch had to be a super attraction. Pretty surprising BettyAnn didn’t have men chasing her like crazy. Perhaps she’d been too picky. Standards were fine, but there was such a thing as excessively high expectations. All the same, about time BettyAnn landed a boyfriend.

“Don’t be shy, Simon. Come on in,” BettyAnn called. She wobbled back to the door, tripped over the uneven tile and skidded into the refrigerator door.

“Darn shoes. Maybe I should try wedges,” she groused. Groping her way along a wall to the door, she tugged the man inside.

LouAnn craned her neck and gazed up. Geez, BettyAnn wasn’t kidding. The guy had to be at least six and half feet in height. LouAnn felt like a midget next to him. BettyAnn’s head barely came to his shoulder even with the added inches from the killer shoes.

“I told you about my sister,” BettyAnn said, lacing her fingers with the stranger.

“Cool backyard,” he said. “I like the headstones.”

LouAnn couldn’t hold back a superior grin. Did she luck out or what? Didn’t the ads on television always say real estate was all about location? Having the town cemetery adjacent to her backyard was a fantastic benefit. Quiet, with no noisy neighbors.

She studied the man’s appearance although it was a long way up. Pale, practically an albino, with silver eyes, white blond cropped hair, and a weird lightening shaped scar on his forehead. Maybe he was a fan of Harry Potter. Wasn’t everyone?

Like BettyAnn, his clothes were black. Cargo pants and a black T-shirt that didn’t disguise rock hard pectoral muscles. Something about this man was familiar, but LouAnn couldn’t place him. Before she had time to consider where they might have met, Howie bounced into the kitchen. The suit jacket fit a bit too snug around his middle, strained buttons looked as if they might pop any second. Slicked back hair did nothing to disguise the bald patch, but LouAnn thought he made a terrific Gomez, especially with the long-stemmed rose clamped between his teeth which he dropped the second he caught sight of BettyAnn’s new squeeze. He stopped short and gazed at the stranger’s features. Admiration gleamed on his face.

Wayne growled. Howie shot a worried glance at LouAnn who could read his thoughts. A vampire. Leave it to BettyAnn to try to one-up her in the boyfriend sweepstakes. Howie was a magician, or more correctly, trying to become a magician. So far, none of his tricks worked. Maybe with BettyAnn visiting, she could give him some professional tips. Her sister was so darned high strung and temperamental, it was hard to know if she’d condescend to coach Howie. That was the problem with geniuses; they were all such difficult personality types who strained everyone’s patience. Diplomacy and tact usually were the best methods in LouAnn’s experience. At least, when it came to BettyAnn. She hoped Simon was a bit more easy-going than her sister. It was hard enough to tiptoe around BettyAnn, let alone a vampire.

“Nice of you to come to my party,” LouAnn said. “Sorry, but I don’t have anything with blood on the menu although the Sangria punch is red wine to make it look like blood.”

There was no disguising the relief on Simon’s face. “That’s good. I hate blood. Mostly, I eat ketchup. I’m working my way up to rare meat. To tell the truth, I prefer it well done.”

Reviews

Saturday, 19 October 2013

WARNINGS:

1. Choking Hazard: Do not eat or drink anything while reading Adams and Eve.
2. Laughing Hazard: Do not read Adams and Eve in public unless you want to explain while you’re rolling around on the floor laughing your derriere off.

I read Adams and Eve at the VA while I was there to do my volunteer work. It was a slow day. I sit at a desk in a large waiting room with very little to absorb sound, so my peals of laughter echoed down the waiting room and through the hall. And there were a lot of peals of laughter. Of course, this was my sixth trip to Liberty Heights, New Jersey and I love its denizens, both human and animal, so I laugh at inside jokes as well as the obvious ones—like Wayne’s ESP. Wayne is a beagle. Or LouAnn Friedbush’s spelling. She means, “Come as an Addams.” She dresses as Morticia, her boyfriend Howie Fleischowitz is Gomez, and Wayne is Cousin Itt for a few minutes at least. He isn’t fond of his costume.

BettyAnn and her boyfriend show up unannounced without costumes, but they’re weird enough not to need them. Simon P. Stein, the wanna-be vampire, more closely resembles Herman Munster—and doesn’t like the sight of blood.

So, LouAnn’s expecting a Pugsley and a Wednesday or two, maybe an attempt at a Lurch, a few Uncle Festers and possibly another Morticia. What she gets are John and Abigail Adams, Don Adams as Maxwell Smart with his faithful Agent 99, and a plethora of rather obscure Adamses plus a gorilla who Wayne clearly doesn’t like.

Yuppers! Halloween Liberty Heights style is both hilarious and memorable. But you’ll have to buy the book to find out who the gorilla is. I highly recommend it. Just re-read the warnings at the top of my review.

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"I am not even sure where to begin with this one, so this might just be a bit of a ramble because there is soooo much in my head with both this book and these characters!!! All i can say is .. YOU HAVE TO READ IT!!"

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