Live from New York, Ashlee Simpson basks in the success of I Am Me

Ashlee Simpson likes the boys in the band. That slightly built, dark-haired, knit-capped Hawaiian she's kissing in the corner of this vast Chelsea Piers photo studio is her rhythm guitarist, Braxton Olita. Look how she cups his face in her hands as they press lips and how, coming up for air, she leans her forehead against his and stares into his eyes, smiling. Cute, right? You can tell he's very shy. And you can tell she very isn't. The platinum-blond Ashlee, with two platinum-plus albums to match—Autobiography and I Am Me—is an unabashed exhibitionist. Once best known for being the kid sister of singer-actress-divorcée Jessica Simpson, Ashlee came into her own fame with the 2004–'05 reality series The Ashlee Simpson Show. The MTV hit was the brainchild of her father-manager, Joe Simpson, the diamond-studded Baptist minister turned music mogul who struck oil with that other reality show, Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.

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While most people assume Ashlee tagged along in her big sister's footsteps, she was actually one of those kids who came out of the womb singing, dancing, and signing autographs. "Les Mis was the first Broadway show I saw," she says, sighing. "I wanted to be the little girl that sang `Castle on a Cloud,' sweeping the floor. I used to practice it in my room every night." By 11, she was the youngest student ever admitted to the School of American Ballet and says she knew "I wanted to be a ballerina, or Drew Barrymore." In 1998, she dropped out of school and went on Jessica's tour as a backup dancer, after which she was cast on the WB's 7th Heaven. All of which led to her reincarnation on MTV.

In the way that Gilligan's Island fans debated who was hotter—Ginger or Mary Ann—the Simpson sisters divide the world into camps: those who go for Jessica's ditzy blond-bombshell allure (in the much-analyzed words of her father, "She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up!") and those attracted to Ashlee's tomboy appeal. Capitalizing on her PG-13 charms, The Ashlee Simpson Show sold her as everygirl—with a Geffen record contract. While we witnessed the making of her first album, we lived all the intimacies of her life: breaking up with one boyfriend, falling in love with another, suffering acid reflux, undergoing throat injections, dyeing her hair black, arguing with her parents. By season's end, she had so endeared herself to her tweens-through-twenties target market that Autobiography — dubbed "Avril-ish brat pop" by Rolling Stone—debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard chart.

And then Simpson became the most famous Saturday Night Live musical guest since Sinéad O'Connor ripped up a picture of the Pope. In October 2004, with the flip of a wrong switch, she was busted for lip-synching. Now we're talkin' reality TV. Adding to the surreal moment, Simpson, clearly in shock, did an awkward jig before leaving the stage. Paris Hilton's sex tape was less exposing. Nearly three months later, during a halftime performance at the Orange Bowl, the crowd booed her.

The singer miraculously recovered her career with the October 2005 release of I Am Me, a redemptive return to SNL, and a successful tour. After the Chelsea Piers photo shoot, Simpson and a small entourage, including her mother, Tina, walk to a nearby Italian restaurant. At a table for two secluded from the others, Ashlee, 21, reflects on her first SNL appearance, seeing what went down as "a good thing," she says. "Not like, 'Oh, I'm so glad this has happened to me.' But things happen that make you a stronger person. I know I'm better than what happened."

"Say what you will, Ashlee Simpson is one of the most electric, kinetic performers I've seen," says Marc Webb, the director of Simpson's "Boyfriend" music video. "The camera loves her, and she loves the camera. That girl knows how to move. What she went through would bury most people, bury them," adds Webb, who has directed videos for Green Day, Incubus, and Santana. "The media hype was so vicious, so devastating. But a lot of girls who are into her feel her pain, so when she got hit, her fans supported her." Everyone knows that if push came to shove, Mary Ann would have had Ginger for lunch.

ELLE: You were great on Letterman last night.

ASHLEE SIMPSON: My sister e-mailed me right after. I'll read it to you! [Pulls out her BlackBerry] "You were adorable on Letterman; I'm so proud! That show is always so freakin' cold! You sounded really good. Love you and miss you. Think about you every day." Isn't that sweet?

ELLE: Very. Were you nervous?

AS: After facing SNL that last time, not too many of those shows make me nervous.

ELLE: I saw your father watching the rehearsal.

AS: My dad...people misunderstand. They think he's controlling our careers. Jessica and I are very much our own individuals. I'll make my record and not invite him into the studio until I invite him. Sure, he'll have an opinion, but if I'm like, "No, I want that song to be on my record," he'll be like, "All right, baby, you got it!" My dad is a doll.

ELLE: Okay, but what about that diamond earring?

AS: [Laughs] I'm one of these free people—hey, if it makes you happy. It's not like he just all of a sudden put the diamond earring on! It's my dad! In church he'd wear the brightest shirts I've ever seen in my life! I think it's adorable because it makes him who he is. When I wear a weird outfit, he says, "Go for it!" My dad is really amazing when I go through incidents, like, say, the McDonald's incident.

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ELLE: What exactly happened?

AS: I was definitely a little tipsy this night. I went to McDonald's, and I was rambling, and I put my foot on the counter and tied my shoe, and the guy behind me goes, "You're gross." And he videotaped me. What you don't see on the video? He goes, "You're gross." And I turned around and he was like, "Omigod, can I take a picture with you?" And I was like, "Not unless you kiss my foot! You just called me gross!" And when you read [in the tabloids] that I say "bitch" to the lady behind the counter—I wasn't saying it in a mean way. I was like, "Awww, bitch, you need more help. Nobody's helping you out!" After that situation, I was like, All right, maybe I need to grow up. I don't drink if I have a show. I go to bed at ten o'clock at night. But when I want to have fun, I like to have fun. [Smiles] The point being that my dad could have been really mean to me about this, and he was just, like, so nice. He treated me like an adult.

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ELLE: It's so curious to me that your father was once a Baptist minister and an adolescent psychologist.

AS: We weren't a wealthy family. He had to work three jobs just to give us girls—we like to shop, and my dad would work his ass off so we could have what we wanted.

ELLE: Growing up in the Dallas suburbs with Jessica, was there ever any sibling rivalry, times when you hated her?

AS: We never, ever really fought. I used to wear her clothes, and they would stink and have holes. Little things. There were times when I was insecure, but not because of my sister. I was a weird-looking little kid for a while. And her world of high school and stuff I did not want to be a part of. I was a ballerina with ballerina friends, and we thought cheerleaders were stupid. I was Miss Artsy Fartsy.

ELLE: That's funny. Being the firstborn, Jessica must have felt intense pressure to set an example, be a good girl-the whole virgin-bride thing.

AS: My parents, my mom especially, have always been believers in "try to save yourself until you're married—and if you don't, be safe." Kids do whatever they want. So advising them to be safe is important. For me, if I ever do decide to have sex... [Bursts into laughter]

ELLE:Puh-leeze! You've been there, done that. And still do!

AS: I don't say if I do or don't. You can assume what you assume.

ELLE: I'll assume losing your virginity is a happy memory.

AS: Yeah, it is something that I hold very dear.

ELLE: We watched you fall in love with singer Ryan Cabrera on your show. Then you dated Wilmer Valderrama. Now you seem pretty involved with Braxton Olita.

AS: I only love musicians! I can't help it. Bass, drums, guitar—you just got to play something! We've been dating for a long time. He's cute and he's a skateboarder!

ELLE: I hope he wears a helmet.

AS: He doesn't, but that turns me on. [Giggles]

ELLE: It's great to be young and immortal and to feel so alive.

AS: I feel something so much whenever I feel. I can be extremely intense. Like, if I got in a fight with my boyfriend and we haven't talked, I have to write a song, or I'll call 500 times so we can work it out, because if we don't I can't go to bed.

ELLE: What sign are you?

AS: Libra.

ELLE: Then you should be more balanced.

AS: No, we always search for balance. Because we're extremists—we way overcorrect. Gwen Stefani and I have the same birthday. October 3.

ELLE: Oh, I love "Hollaback Girl." What's your favorite song in the world?

AS: "Let It Be." Another is [Alanis Morissette's] "You Learn." I've loved that song since the sixth grade-that was like my anthem. [Sings] "You live, you learn! You live, you..."[trying to remember the words]...whatever! It's so interesting—it's not like I went through SNL and all of a sudden my world changed. It didn't. But people look at me like, like I died when that happened. And I didn't!

ELLE: No, and it inspired you to write a hit record.

AS: I never said I wanted to be Mariah Carey. I never said I want to be Whitney Houston. I'm not perfect. But I'm going to stand up onstage and give you everything I have in my body at that moment.

Tina Simpson: I always tell Ashlee that she's the poster child for all the kids who felt like they couldn't but now they can. She gives the underdog inspiration.

ELLE: Was life easier for Ashlee as the youngest child?

TS: You're always a little harder on the first child. Then you get easier and easier because you're tireder and tireder! It's kind of weird, Jessica is sometimes more of a baby to me than Ashlee. I've watched Ashlee be protective of Jessica.

AS: When I hear or read somebody say something about her, I want to kick them! I'm like, "What the f--k did you just say about my sister?"

TS: We're full-on Irish.

ELLE: I must say, the tabloids—

AS: Those magazines are messing with people's lives! My mom always tells me, "They better be prayin' that their babies are going to be okay when they're trying to destroy my kids' lives!" [They both laugh] We're Texans.