Wow..this is absolutely beautiful. I love how the very last line you have (and it wouldn't) it really seems to set the tone of this poem, and it gives it a nice feel to it. You did lovely. This is so simple, but yet very exquisite! You did great! *applauds*

My only critique would be to not have so many periods between the letters..ei: f.e.l.l. It does make it look neat, but thats just the problem, it kind of distracts the reader..although, there are no set rules in poetry, so you can do whatever you want with it (which makes it so awesome) i just thought i'd let ya know thats what it does for me:D Keep up the fantastic work though *kw*