7. Diapers and formula are friggin’ expensive. Target was much more enjoyable for me when I was dropping $50 on random makeup choices and DVDs I still haven’t watched.

8. I feel old. I’m not though. Being a mom and doing mommy things just makes me feel like I am. Every time I bend into the back of my two-door car to lift my monster out of his car seat, I get another fine line.

9. Movie previews alert me to what I’ll be getting on Netflix in three months, not what I’ll get to see in theaters on Friday.

10. Meals — they’re not just for eating anymore. Now they’re for picking toys up off the floor, dispensing Puffs, entertaining, shushing, untangling feet from highchair belts, …

Enough negative. Here’s a bunch of positive stuff about me and my monster: