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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Wwwwhaaaaa?

So I know what you're thinking, "Two days in a row?? Whaaaatt?" I know, I'm pretty shocked myself. So let me just start out by saying I stayed home sick today, grrr, and I'm really bored. So I was like, I'll go write something. But instead of it being something productive like those stories I'm working on or that homework I'm gonna have tonight I'm going to go write some random stuff that will make the sun smile and stop trollin' on other peoples pictures. Isn't that super nice of me?

So I wish I had like super awesome artistical skills. But not so awesome that I'd want to cut my ear off or paint weird ladies. That's just creepy. Now today I read something that Whippersnapper sent to me and I must say I laughed ridiculously hard. So maybe if I get her permission I can post it up here for you all to see, cause trust me, she's awesome and that mini story was great.

Sigh being sick sucks. All you get to do is walk around the house and go "Ugghhh I'm dying!!!!!!! It's sooooooooooooo hot!!! Soo soo so cold, terribly cold. MAN I'M ENERGETIC! ....I'm so so tired...SHUT UP WIND WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?! ...pants you are so nice, did you know that?" And that's how my sick days go majority of the time.

So as forementioned last night I had about a five minute conversation with pants. Nothing abnormal, just talking about how nice they are and how much I love them and how we belong together. Then I noticed my favorite hoodie just chillen on the bed and I was like "Hoodie you are so nice, did you know that?" And that conversation started again.

It was kind of bad. Obviously when I get sick I get delusional and unfortunately ten times more paranoid than I already am. Nice. It's bad. I definitely just thought the wind was trying to come into my house and steal our couches. ....Yeah don't ask.

Doo daahh dee doo daahhh it's fun to sing senseless nothings when no one else is home because it gives you a prelude to what your life is going to be like when you're old.

SPEAKING of old I can't wait for it. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be the greatest old person ever. I'm going to cause trouble at supermarkets and then just leave. I'm going to blame a lot on Alzheimer. I'm going to yell at kids to get off my lawn and then throw muffins at them. All in all I just really cannot wait for old people-ness to happen.

Old people are great. They tell you about the random things they did when they were kids and then they have old people love where holding hands is almost as bad as having sex. It's great!

So I'm starting to realize that this is taking a turn for the creepy which was bound to happen eventually because I'm sick and delusional. Hmm maybe I should have though this through more... nahh I'll just keep going.

So last night I had this dream that I was a ginger bread cookie and I had problems not eating the gumdrops that constituted themselves as eyeballs, which was obviously bad. I also had a hard time not eating my other ginger bread friends. Needless to say I'm a ginger bread cannibal.

Speaking of cannibals, does anyone else enjoy singing the band aid song? I am stuck on band aid brand cause band aids help heal me! Man it's catchy! I would love to be the person that invented sticky hands. You know those awesome gooey toys that have this long sticky handle and you slap them onto anything and they stick? At a recent visit to my favorite place in the world Booth's Corner, I got to relive my childhood AND get a sticky hand zebra. Also pronounced zebrah, like Deborah except not. DEBBIE!

So I found a list of names that I wanted to name future children when I was like six and needless to say I was a stupid six year old. I say this only because I wanted to name all my kids after fruits. Kiwi, Coconut, Berry, Tangelo, the usual fruits that you find in your everyday market.

So if you aren't familiar with "Tangelo" it's because yes, it IS a real fruit, but it's not the fruit I'm talking about. Ever since forever I've refused to call clementines "Clementines" because honestly I just didn't like that name. So instead I call them Tangelos because honestly that name just sounds awesome. Hence why I wanted to name my child that when I was six. Don't judge.

Speaking of Tangelos, I can't seem to remember what I was going to write next so I think I'm just gonna stop now while I'm ahead. Yeahhhh.

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About Me

I am Jess. I am 19. I am awkward. That is pretty much all you need to know. I am also funny. That is also important. I also normally use contractions most of the time, usually when they combine to make words that are not words.