Celia's Sulfur Spring: and More Fairy Tales for Modern Dreamers

This collection of modern fairy tales breathes mythology into real sites, professions, and heroes, across the United States. Can a frog really be an imprisoned Architect? Can a future President learn diplomatic skills by out-smarting playground bul...

Porkie Yorkie

There once was a dog, a Yorkshire Terrier, born to humble beginnings. He was the runt of his litter, and the least loved by his mother. While all his brothers and sisters quickly found warm homes, he was left alone in a pen, barking at whomever would listen. His wicked trainer only gave him food and water once a day, so he was way too thin. This made his eyes and ears, which were already big, look giant. For this reason, his trainer found it funny to call him Porkie Yorkie.

“Porkie Yorkie you skinny ugly shorty,” she called him daily, but despite all this abuse Porkie just wanted to be loved. He therefore remained good-natured, and hoped everyday that his trainer would come by to rub his tummy.

Then, one lucky day, his trainer fed him more than usual. She took him out of his cage, and brushed his hair, and Porkie thought, “this must be love.” She even fitted him with a bright new collar, and took him for a ride in a fancy black car. Porkie looked out the window as they drove. He had never seen the rest of the world before, and he wondered if it always moved so fast. Trees and people zipped by. He wasn’t sure he liked it, so he did what he does best, he barked at it.

“Bad dog! Bad dog!” his trainer said, grabbing him by the snout. “I knew taking you was a mistake. You’re going to embarrass me in front of the President. There’s no way the First Daughter will pick you for her own.” Porkie had no idea what his trainer was saying. He just looked back out the window in time to see a large lawn crowded with dogs and their trainers. “How do I get there?” he wondered. And just then, the car pulled up to a metal gate, which parted to let them through.

As soon as the car door opened, Porkie ran to where a few other dogs were playing. He was the smallest dog there, but it made no difference to him. He just wanted to play and make friends. Sadly, Porkie noticed that not all of the dogs wanted to be friends. For example, two large dogs started fighting only a few feet away from him, but Porkie wasn’t discouraged. He went right up to them.

“Why are you fighting?” Porkie asked the two dogs.

“This dog thinks that he’s bigger and tougher than me,” said the sandy-colored dog.

“I am the biggest and toughest of anyone,” said the brown-colored dog.

“Who cares?” said Porkie.

“Excuse me?” said both the big dogs at once.

“I mean, why is being the biggest and the toughest so important?” said Porkie.

“What if there were only one treat left in the whole world,” said the brown-colored dog, “We have to know who would get it.” Nearby, Porkie saw a platter piled high with treats.

“There are plenty of treats right over there,” he pointed out, “Why spend time worrying, when you could spend your time eating and playing.”

“You have a point,” said the sandy-colored dog, and the brown-colored dog nodded in agreement. A second later, the two dogs went back to tackling one another, but playfully this time. Secret Service agents looked on as Porkie walked happily away, for he had solved a major problem for them.

A while later, Porkie was busy sniffing and being sniffed, when a little girl patted him on the back, and offered him her hand to sniff.

“Porkie?” she said checking his collar, “You don’t look very porky to me. You’re too skinny.” Porkie just stared up at her with his big watery eyes. His tail was wagging, and he appeared to have a smile on his face. She took a treat from her pocket and handed it to him. He took a bite, licked his lips happily and offered the rest to his new friends.

“Good boy,” the little girl said, and she gave Porkie another treat. Porkie shared this treat as well, and the girl was so impressed that she scooped him up in her arms, and carried him over to her father, the President of the United States.

“Daddy, this is the dog I want.”

“Are you sure, Honey?” the President said, “This dog looks like he might be sick.”

“Porkie’s a good boy. He’s very friendly and he shows promising leadership skills. “

“How about we see,” said the president, “set him down for now, and take a look at the other dogs. I think we can find a dog that’s a little healthier.”

“Ok, but he’s still my first choice,” she said, setting Porkie on the ground. This made Porkie whimper; he didn’t want to leave her side. So, The First Daughter picked up a stick and threw it.

“Fetch!” she yelled, and Porkie took off after the stick. Unfortunately, it landed in the bushes, where he couldn’t reach it. The First Daughter felt terrible as she ran to help him. She saw an opening in the bush, and crawled in headfirst. She got her hand on the stick and tried to get out, but she couldn’t. She was stuck.

“Help!” she cried, but her voice wasn’t loud. It was up to Porkie to save her. He took in all the air he could, and barked with all his might. Everyone in the yard, man and beast, turned to hear him. They could sense the fear and urgency in his every sound. Secret Service agents rushed over, and fished The First Daughter out of the bush. As they carried her off, Porkie followed and kept guard over her.

“You see, Dad. You see. He’s not very strong, but he’s brave, and he saved me,” The First Daughter said, and the President had to admit that this was true. He scooped Porkie up and carried him into the White House. From then on, Porkie had all the food, love, and tummy rubs any dog could ask for, and he never saw his wicked trainer again.