What the hell just happened in my life?

OK, so I know this is a pretty heavy topic, but I feel that I need to get this out.

Ive been quite the lurker for a few years, but have got a lot of good ideas and laughs from all you guys. The is a great forum and I am proud to be here.

Now for my issue. It is my wife. We have been married for about 14 years and have know each other for 20. She has been talkin to this guy on the I-net for around 18 mos and it seems kinda wierd. Now she tells me that see feels we got married to young and she wants to experience new things. She says that she wants an open marriage with freedom to do what she and I want, as long as we are safe.

The guy she is talking to is moving here to find work and I can see where this is going. Having said that, I have already found someone. I have known her for about 7 years and we have flirted all the time, but I was married and all it ever was friends, but after the bombshell I was handed, I called her. We have went out a couple of times and even spent the weekend together. My wife does know and told me not to stand her up.

I really dont know what to do. On one hand I still love my wife, but am at a loss as to her mind set right now. I really do like the person I called, she is a sweet person and has been giving me the attention I was missing for the 18 mos my wife was kinda M.I.A. I really look forward to going out with her again, she is a fun and energentic person.

I useto be able to guaranty that I would be married to, lets call her M, till the day I die. Now I really do not know if this is going to last 6 mos. The *other woman*, lets call her K, has stated that she is looking for a husband or at least a steady relationship.

hate to be blunt, but if this guy is moving into your area, and suddenly she wants an open relationship, either she wants to, or already has at least met him, if not more. if she's gonna pull crap like that, its a done deal, get out while the gettin is good.

No kids here (tragic puberty accident )so that wouldn't be a prob. What about counseling?

Click to expand...

Just send me $5000 and walk away. Seriously doo, sounds like a waste of $$ and time. Time to move on.

At some point divorce is really just a financial transaction - if its time to move on, split the stuff and split. No need to make it bad, or worse and give all of your $$ to counslers and lawyers.......

I am sorry to put this out there but how serious were the both of you when you took the vows of death do you part. How did you two feel when you were first together. you two should really sit down together and talk about where you guys have been and where you want to go. Together Hopefully. But it is your choice.

Well, brother, I'm sorry to say it but it sounds to me like it's over between you and your wife, whether you like it or not.......

First of all, she's been chatting another guy up on the internet for 18 months. That's wrong, plain and simple. If I caught Kim doing that, there would be hell to pay. If I caught her a second time, she'd be out on her ass. And, FWIW, if she caught me doing the same thing she'd probably cut my dink off in the middle of the night. Why the heck didn't you tell her to stop her online affair when you first found out about it?

Secondly, in her mind the marriage is over. I'll tell you something, and you probably already know this- when a woman makes up her mind, there's almost NO WAY of changing it. So if she's already figured out that she no longer wants to be in a monogamous relationship, nothing you can do or say will make her change her mind. I personally couldn't sleep at night if I knew my wife was out banging some other guy, even though she "loved" me. And you can bet that's what's gonna happen when buddy moves to town.

Thirdly, you can't really be that broke up about things if you were able to go and start up a new relationship with another woman. To be honest, you're commiting adultery too. If I was in the process of losing my wife, the last thing that would be on my mind was chasing tail. So are you really that upset about this whole situation? You're not acting like it.

So in closing, I concur with the other guys. Make the inevitable split as friendly as possible so you don't spend all your money on lawyers. Let her go and don't look back. Let this new girl help you work this through- if she stands by your side and supports you during the divorce proceedings, she may be a keeper. And, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES, LET YOUR SOON-TO-BE EX-WIFE SLIP BACK INTO YOUR LIFE, EVEN FOR A HARMLESS QUICKY. If you want to get over her, you need to make the break as clean and as permanent as possible.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm busting your balls, brother, but the truth hurts. I'm willing to bet that you already know that everything the Brotherhood is telling you is bang on. Anyhow, good luck, my friend. Keep us posted.

Thanks for the straight talk everybody. I know i really should have been more forcefull about stopping the online convos dead cold. My problems was when we would have the talks about this issue (fights really) she would assure me it was just friends. I believed her and trusted her, but with him moving here I think I may be at the end.

Thirdly, you can't really be that broke up about things if you were able to go and start up a new relationship with another woman.

Click to expand...

Can, you are one hundred percent correct. I made a mistake, K was there and we started talking and one thing lead to another. Yes I am upset about the whole thing, just reallly in denile.

Thanks again everybody, you have pretty much reaffirmed what I thought. You guys are great and straight shooters.

Useful Searches

>
About Us>
>
In May of 1999 CK5 started out as a tribute to America's favorite 4x4 utility truck. Since then it has grown to be
a leader among full size Chevrolet K5 Blazer and GMC Jimmy web sites across the Internet. CK5 has since expanded
to include the C/K series GM Truck and Suburban as well as past and present GM models.
>>
With its technical articles, factory specifications, photo gallery, classifieds, active message forum, product
reviews and original automotive content it's an unbeatable source.