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Zazen and a toothache

Just wanted share this experience:
Today was one of those days that didn't go as planned and I kept pushing back later and later my time to sit in zazen. Then with my wife and inlaws at dinner out and I was at house watching two year old he develops a sudden teething pain in his far back molar (if you don't have kids these are the worst!). He won't take medicine, my wife won't answer her phone, he's wailing. So I just sat right next to him in the hallway (couldn't even get him to go to bed) and rubbed his back while he watched a movie on my phone and snuffled pitifully. There wasn't anything I could do despite desperately wanting to, so I was just fully present accepting it but showing compassion and giving comfort just by being there. It wasn't heroic or "special" but I was there. That was zazen, I'll still try to sit before bed though

Zazen is -NOT- a cure for many things ... it will not fix a bad tooth (just allow you to be present with the toothache ... you had better see a dentist, not a Zen teacher) ... All it will do is let one "be at one, and whole" ... TRULY ONE ... with the throbbing pain and crying babies, accepting and embracing of each, WHOLLY WHOLE with/as each one.

A few months ago I had kidney stones (I wouldn't recommend them). I spent quite a lot of time curled up in a ball on my bathroom floor in pain. At one point, moving around, trying to find a non-existent "comfortable" position, I sat back on my heels (I typically sit zazen in seiza position)....I stopped and watched the pain. And for a few moments it subsided. I paid close attention, not wishing or begging it to leave...and it receded a bit. Of course it came back...but a few times I was able to see that the suffering was only pain. All said, The Great Wisdom of the Kidney Stone is this: drink more water.

円
泰 Entai (Bill)
"trying to shovel smoke with a pitchfork in the wind "- John Lennon

Sounds pretty heroic to me Fred. I have two boys, 4 and 8, and it's those kind of things they remember over all else. Or the lack of such compassion from one's parents as was the case with mine.

Deep bows to all parents who are their childdren's heroes.

Gassho,
Dosho

Originally Posted by MyBody'sNameIsFred

There wasn't anything I could do despite desperately wanting to, so I was just fully present accepting it but showing compassion and giving comfort just by being there. It wasn't heroic or "special" but I was there.

Sounds pretty heroic to me Fred. I have two boys, 4 and 8, and it's those kind of things they remember over all else. Or the lack of such compassion from one's parents as was the case with mine.

Deep bows to all parents who are their childdren's heroes.

Gassho,
Dosho

When you said that, a series of memories came of me as a very young child sick or in hospital, and my mother and father doing a million and one things to try to make it better. I had not thought of some of those memories in years, but they are very clear in my mind and certainly the memories and feelings were with me all the time. Thank you, D.

I know it is not see easy with difficult parents and childhoods, but we need to let that go too ... even as we feel the pain. I experienced that too sometimes in my childhood.

I hope that victims of child abuse eventually can learn to let the past go ... learn to see their abusers as himself/herself a victim ... move forward so that the violence does not repeat into the next generation. ... While letting the past go, trying to not fall into new anger ... one must sometimes also see the scar as the scar sometimes, recognize that it is natural to feel anger and resentment at the attacker ... even as one tries to forgive on some level, see the "real evil" on some level, not be trapped by the anger and resentment and let it go.

In February, our Sangha will celebrate "Buddha's Parinirvana Day", a Traditional Buddhist and Soto Zen holiday marking the Buddha's passing from this visible world. However, we will use that time to remember all our loved ones and friends who have gone. I hope that, on some level, we can also make it a time for allowing and gratitude even for those people and times who were not easy.

One instant he's screaming, next playing happily, next fast asleep. he's a great teacher.

Happy he's ok again! Sometimes I laugh when I catch myself holding on again. How many times have I been called a 'stupid rotten daddy!' and received a 'I love you dad' only minutes later. Kids indeed are great teachers