Watching my father evolve....

Last Friday (the 9th) would have been my parent's 55th wedding anniversary. Dad was really down that day. He was so very sad & I had to reassure him that it was okay to feel sad.

He just kept saying that 55 years wasn't enough - he needed more time.

I spoke with Dad last night. It was a heartwarming discussion.

(Dad is pretty much a man of his generation with well defined roles in the household - in other words, he worked, Mom, cooked took care of the house & the kids. He didn't know how to cook - though he grills a mean turkey.)

Dad told me last night that over the past month he learned to fry an egg, make a grilled cheese sandwich. His most proud accomplishment was chipped beef on toast - but he decided that he wanted to have the chipped beef over a potato. "Your mother would have never allowed that, Linda."

I told Dad that cooking is all about creativity & flexibility!

While this all may seem simple, Dad is growing in ways, since Mom has died, that has made me very proud. While frying an egg shouldn't be that big a deal, for my father it's huge.

I gave him my recipe for fluffy scrambled eggs last weekend - he tried it & loved it. His comment to me was, I can't do that during the week before work. Takes too long.

I'm so very proud of Dad. He continues on his journey in life with-o his life partner. He honors her memory, while maintaining balance.

Linda, two of my women friends were widowed last year and I've watched their evolvement, too. The human spirit is pretty remarkable. I'm proud of my women friends and I'm proud of your Dad, too. Sometimes the best you can hope for is putting your feet on the floor in the morning, let alone trying something new. My hat's off to all of them.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I watched my Dad do the same thing when Mom passed away ten years ago. He too has learned to cook and wash his clothes and do his shopping and pay the bills on time and make sure he has enough money left at the end of the month. I have grown to have a very special relationship with him, one I never dreamed I would have years ago. It sounds like you too will have that special relationship as you see your Dad evolve.

I think we are lucky to have parents that we can share those things with. You will miss your Mom every day and would want her back in a heartbeat, but you will learn new things about your Dad and they will fill your heart will love and compassion and joy.

I gotta tell you that I feel the same way about my mother since dad died. My parents were the happiest, closest, most loving couple I have ever seen in my life. My father absolutely adored my mother and treated her like a queen. He never wanted to be parted from her.

She lost the love of her life.

My mom handled their considerable estate, a miriad of trusts and tax issues, on her own. She began to travel again, drive herself long distances, take on care of their huge 6,400 sq foot home, etc. It is wonderful to see those who have lost such a huge part of their life carry on without. I am imensely proud of my mom too. It tugs at your heart.

My parents, as a couple, have taught me so very much. People wonder why I haven't given up on the tweedles. I learned strength combined with dignity from both of my parents.

I've watched them as a couple overcome many hardships. I've watched my father support his family through many hard times.

Dad ate every meal my sisters & I tried cooking with a smile on his face (& I know many of our first attempts were awful). It makes me smile to think of the very first pancakes I made - as gooey as they were, he swallowed them & told me what a good job I'd done. It gave me the confidence to keep going.