Hi ladies - I know it is has gotten quiet Nikkki: TTC is too much sometimes, absolutely. It has dominated my brain for the past 18 months. I've only recently come to a weird acceptance of this process... it sounds like you are working very hard! Fingers crossed Femara does the trick!Nicksy: I have to admit, I don't fully understand your last post but it seems like there are a few more steps before your first round of IVF. Sending you tons of positive vibes!Mom: hehe I laughed at absurdly large boobs hahaha the joys of pregnancy. I am sure you look radiant!Sassa: we miss youuuu!! Sunshine: what's new with you my dear?I'm around ovulation time atm. I'm currently away from home tonight and need to find something to pee in to do an OPK lol. I've sharing an apartment with some colleagues so that will be awkward hahaha. Sorry I've been so MIA. We've been preparing for our big move across the country. The past 3 months I feel a lot less connected to this process. Sort of resigned to more rounds of blood work and ultrasounds and meds...sigh.. I don't know. I know there are all kinds of struggles when it comes to ttc. I'm sort of coming to peace with the fact that I am a woman who struggles with infertility. It still gets me down but not as much before. It's crazy to thing that if I had conceived when I started trying (and all had gone well with the pregnancy) I would have a 9 month old!!!!! sorry ladies, end rant, I need to go find something to stealthily pee in lol.

**update** found something to pee in - what do you think of this OPK? https://imgur.com/a/mKXxz I've definitely had darker ones before. I've beat the control several times. This corresponds with my elevated LH blood levels the months I was monitored. Seems my body has to try really hard to make an egg pop. I'm going to try with the progesterone suppositories again this cycle post ovulation...

OPK finally is negative. I'm planning on starting Prometrium in a few days just in case.It's really hard to believe that after 18 mos this will work without some intervention.Miss you ladies - would really love to hear how you're doing

Hi everyone. Just thought will keep you all updated. My thyroid report came better. Endo thinks def something transient and will resolve on it own. So i have been started with lupron long protocol for ivf. Started with Lupron injections from day 21 of this cycle (overlapping with my birth control pills). Waiting for AF to start now. Depending on my day 2 results, the remaining protocol for IVF will be set.

Haven't shared an update for a long time. My mom is convinced this boy will be big, doctor says I'm measuring completely normal for an average weight baby. I didn't see my mom for about 2 weeks and she kept telling me my bump doubled in size, except she was saying "omg you're huge!" Thanks mom *sigh*

Hey Nicksy - glad to hear that your thyroid results are normalizing! I'm so excited for you and your husband. I am hoping you get lots of eggs, lots of healthy embryos and lots of chances for your transfers! If you don't mind me asking, is IVF covered where you live?We're moving from Ontario, Canada to British Columbia, Canada. There is funded IVF in Ontario but not in British Columbia. I just had to remove us from the waitlist because we are moving. I am worried that we won't be able to afford IVF if it comes down to that....

Mom you look amazing!!! You're in better shape now than I am atm!!! I've been indulging getting ready for the move. We haven't been cooking and I am getting extra fluffy. How are you feeling? Is DD so excited? And yes, it's a blessing that you are growing! That means there is a healthy child in there getting ready to meet the world

AFM CD 18. I am going to start with the vag berries tonight.I think our BD schedule was pretty good this month. Part of me just wants to say forget it and not do the progesterone suppositories this month - what's the point? I have grown weary of doing all these pregnancy tests. It's just too much sometimes. I've just lost the drive. *sigh* oh well!

Mom: You look healthy to me! Thanks for sharing the pic of your super cute bump! I am sure everyone in the family is super excited for the baby. When is your due date?

Beth: Thanks a bunch for the wishes. I live in India. And IVF is not covered here. It would have been really difficult for us also to manage it financially, but we have given up on our savings to try it atleast once. Its the best we can do right now. Good luck with your moving. I totally get you on loosing the drive. Even with these injections starting off, I should have been excited, to say the least. I am surprisingly not feeling anything. I don't know if its a defense mechanism or the thought whether its just another trial. Either ways, we have come to accept and decide that me and DH are going to live a happy and fulfilling life. No matter, what happens. With all your tests being normal so far, I am hoping you will be a getting a surprise BFP when you will least expect it. Are you guys planning to try IUI or other options in Columbia?

Hi Nicksy - Thanks for sharing & responding I can understand the IVF being stressful. You're putting so much into this process, emotionally and financially. I'm so hopeful for you. Also, I meant to ask - what kind of doctor is your hubby?As for which treatments we will try next, our RE in Ontario wanted me to do Femara/Letrozole with IUI & progesterone in the luteal phase - but we ran out of time. All of our investigations have been sent to our new doctor in BC & I am curious to see what she will say. I'm hoping she won't make us repeat a ton of investigations before getting started.. we shall see...

Beth: Glad your reports got shared. Most docs over here do not prefer repeat tests, except for may be some. Hopefully, femara+iui is all you need. Its a fairly simple procedure. As for my DH, he is about to finish his residency in Neurosurgery. Thank you for keeping the hope.

Yeah Beth:-). Loads of training.. Indian medicine system is different from U.S. 6 years of basic medical degree, followed by 3 years of surgical training, and now 3 years of specialization in neurosurgery. And every step has a separate entrance exam to get in. He has finished 2 years. One more to go:-)

Thanks ladies, starting to feel real fluffy this week. Lol! I think the water weight is beginning to come now, getting less comfortable each day but only 8 weeks as of tomorrow. My official due date is 8/16. I can't wait to get there! DD is very excited though she goes through days/moments where she's feeling a tad overshadowed so I'm trying my best to include her in all the baby thoughts and plans. We were looking at our collected newborn outfits yesterday and I made sure to ask her specifically what she thinks her brother should wear home from the hospital, she lit up when I asked her opinion. I never want her to feel slighted, especially because this baby is biologically my husbands and mine, she's not an outsider and I just really hope she understands that. Sometimes I have a little fear about DH treating them differently, not that I anticipate it, I'm just a worrier and she can be sensitive at times. They've been bonding more this summer though since they each have a season pass to cedar point (our huge amusement park) and she LOVES roller coasters. Zero fear! So they go without me since I can't ride--I may go once this summer bc I miss seeing her joy after a big coaster.

Beth, sorry to hear about the health coverage differences by location there! That stinks a bit but I have faith this live will bring you and DH all the joy you dream of. Good luck in the big move, FX everything goes according to plan!!

Nickysy that's awesome your DH is a neurosurgeon! My DD friends dad is a pediatric oncologist/hematologist and thy moved to US from India, I don't know how he does what he does! His wife has told me tales of his patients and I can't even imagine but thank goodness there are people in this world strong enough to be in those positions! I'm so excited to hear how your IVF goes as well. I've heard many success stories, FX for you two <3

Mom: Thats great. 8/16 will be here before you know it. Its a rational thought about the kids being treated differently. Hopefully, thats not going to be the case. Your daughter sounds lovely, and so does your DH. I am happy to hear she wants to get so involved. Thats a good start for a heathy sibling relationship. Me and DH love roller coasters too!

Thank you for the wishes. Pediatric oncology is a difficult branch to deal with. Here, it is not exactly a separate branch, but gets covered between oncologists and neurosurgeons. Tumors for entire body except brain are handled by oncologists. I have personally seen so many cases with little kids, that it can get scary. Takes a lot of courage on doctors part to keep treating, and not letting it affect you.

Beth: Hello... Hoping you are doing well.

Nikki, Sassa, Sunshine: remembering you ladies!

I started with AF today. Will get my blood test done tomorrow (day 2), and then the docs will take a final call on how to proceed further for IVF.

Mom: You're an amazing mum, you and DH, DD and DS will find a balance. There might be rough patches but overall things will be amazing, you can do it!!!Nicksy: woo hoo!! here we go!! IVF time!! this is so exciting!! Nikki,Sassa,Sunshine miss you ladies!!AFM - chilling here in my luteal phase... I'm feeling very odd again, I'm wondering if it's the Progesterone. Hard to explain, but basically I was under a lot of stress for work the last time I was on it, and right now I am getting ready to move across the country so under some stress as well. But what I feel is utter apathy. Just don't care, I feel really blunted emotionally. It eventually passed last time but I really don't like it.

Beth the progesterone is your vag berries (lol!)? Maybe the distraction will be good! Maybe when you guys get to the new home and start "christening" different rooms one of those spontaneous times will bring your little love! Hopefully the bean is already there, if not the excitement of being together in your new home might help to ease some stress and relax you both some.

hahaha yes, those are the vag berries!!!funny, i forgot i was 1/2 way through the tww - maybe you're right mom and there's a little sticky bean working it's way into my uterus now lolwe're moving closer to family so maybe this is all we need