poems i wrote a long time ago in middle school; give me your opinions

“I don’t want you anymore….” that’s what I keep tell`n myself and I no it’s a lie?
I say that to keep myself from cry`n;
I don’t want to speck of this person who made this way; this person messed up everything….this person is my only weakness-
I never know how it felt to feel this way but I do now and I don’t like it;
Right now I just want to leave, move away, start over in a new place, but I can’t seem to get myself up to actual doing it because it feels like there is something that I’m supposed to do?

Every day I go to school…and im held back because of the rules,
I have no freedom wut so ever?
But yet ppl continue to be mean and senseless of wut is really going on;
The nature of who we are has been thrown off balance!
The world that we all used to love has been thrown into a great depression….
Many ppl are losing their minds and many are losing sight of who they are.
You would think that violence was getting old but it is only the beginning;
My freedom was corrupted when I was younger….
Ppl made fun of me because I was mixed
And now that im older I look a lot darker
And it doesn’t help that most of my friends parents are racist
Because they wouldn’t let me hang out with them any more…..
When I wad lil I ddnt under stand y ppl ddnt want me hanging out with there kids
Until now?!
Life kinda sucks for me right now because im a confused lil gurl stuck inna teenagers body
No joke;
You would have thought ive learned by now that this place we live in is confusing
And scary but I have and hvnt at the same time and its hard to explain
For me that is;

Student says- Get out of my face!
Teacher says- Don`t raise your voice at me!!
Student says- It`s called freedom of speech, I done wit this bull shizz!
(Slams the door of the classroom and walks off)
Teachers says- DETENTION!!
Student says- Fudge off and walks home….?
Next thing you no student gets sent to jail for not being at school and walking out;
but I think that person really doesn’t give a flying “F”…….

4. Is it freedom? Or attention?
Possible today will be okay…. Maybe the sun will come out-
Maybe I’ll get to go outside and hang around- Here and there and a little bit of every where
When I’m alone I feel like I’m in charge….that seems fair don’t yah think?
Is it freedom that I like or is It the attention I get?

5. My Wall
You would think that I would have told you….?
But I can’t?! It’s hard for me to talk about things and you should know that;
I don’t like to talk about friends, relationships, or love….
Because I grow up Ina family that didn’t involve it?!
You might think yah right that’s a lie….but it truly isn’t; I’ve had bad life experiences
Since I don’t let people in; to climb my walls of thought and safety-
But with you as a friend they fell to the ground!! Exposing all secrets and unknown things about me?
So know I’m left with nothing…..not even you can help me?! ;

6. I might say I love
The question is do I know you well enough to say I love you?
To say I love you and mean it….well that will be hard since I don’t use it because it’s not my vocabulary?!
I don’t understand why I want you; I don’t understand why I’m here in this situation in the first place; not being able to understand you.

7. Dot, Dot, Dot, Question Mark!
Is life just a great big puzzle from the sky?
Does every thing fit into a certain spot of which they choose? Or do people pick for them-
Hmmm what can I say, I’m just a curious little girl stuck in a teens body;
Why does life got to be so complicated....why can’t people be friendly to one another?
I wish I new someone who could answer that question-

|design and etc with words i wrote a poem and it can be read a bunch of different ways but in order for it to be more than mediocre it has to be in the picture of 3 strands of a rope frayed then coming together braiding themselves together and being frayed at the other end. you can read each strand as 3 different poems or read them in different orders.
I havent missed anything (*huh*) WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!!?!?!??!?

I hate being this way-
Confused alone and in the dark like some wild animal…
I need help, but I don’t want to get it-
What’s wrong with me? Why do I hurt everyone I love…?
Why do I always hurt the one`s that get close to me
Why does everything got to be this way;
I’m sorry
I said I’m freaking sorry what else do you want me to do
Do you want me to jump off a bridge?
Do you want me to right I love in the sky with stars?
What do you want me to do?
I don’t like it when you’re sad or mad at me!
I can’t take it!
I can’t do everything you want me to do I’m just one person-

To night is the night, were the freaks come out!
The people everyone says don’t belong here because they are different
We all final get to show are true sides weather its evil super villainous or just plain creepy-
I am a little edgy, meaning my persona can very
I’m that type of person who can be weird creepy outgoing and cool at the same time
So the question now is which am I today?

Our love will last forever-
We both thought things were just going down hill until we meet;
The day we meet turned out to be great for the both of us-
We had found out that there are people out there just like us…
We understood each other-
STOP….!
Let’s take a walk down memory lane….
Do you remember that day….
Down by the lake were we talk all day
The tree`s dancing to the whistling of the wind
The water sparkling so perfectly
And the mood just right!
We had some of the same interest,
we had so many questions that went unanswered?
We were like two puzzle peaces that fit together just perfectly-

Celebrate the day of the dead-
Take my life, but don’t take his!
Why? Because I love him!
Slit my throat and get it over with…
I want this to be done quick, what are you waiting for? Why won’t you do it?
Fine! I’ll do it myself-
Celebrate the day of the dead-
Why did you take your own life….?
Now im left here with no1 to love-
(Or am I)
(He goes off after another girl after the fact his love killed herself for him)
(but his luck ran out the chick he went after was a cereal killer on the loss) !!CARMA!!

Really……
I`ll punch you in the face if you dump me!!
It’s been 1 month since we`ve been together-
Really…..
What a F`n D-BAG! I know I should have gone after TIM!!
You sit there and tell me you love me;
You sit there and say I want to be with you forever;
You’re such a lair!
Don’t talk to me any more!!
Oh what?!
You weren`t gonna dump me? Then what?!
You miss someone?!
Who is she?!
Why do you miss her!
I dnt think I can handle this anymore!!
The content anger, the flickers of depression….
Why me?!
That’s all I ask-