Watching some interesting footage

Lois A. Corcoran

‘Tis the season for feet to come out of hiding. I feel self-conscious about baring mine though. Not only do they measure as long as I am tall, but they sport a huge gap between the first and second toes. I could store eggs there.

So it’s unlikely I’d call attention to them by painting my nails. I have a hard enough time just remembering to cut them.

I’m a big fan of stocking feet, though, and kick off my shoes as soon as I get home. As I go about my work, I’ll look down to find my toes involuntarily curling inward. It must be hereditary because my son shares the same comical trait.

It’s almost as if tootsies have a mind of their own – which might explain how they get people in trouble. Take Tina, for instance, a lady who merged with a bowling ball.

She found it while cleaning her shed “and stuck my big toe in the thumb hole,” she wrote. When she couldn’t remove it, “I made my way back to the house,” which must have been an interesting hike. Then she logged onto MaybeNow. com, of all places, for help.

Then there’s the gal who asked for advice at YahooAnswers. “My toe just got stuck in a printer!” she wrote.

Someone suggested applying Vaseline. Like maybe it’s kept with computer supplies. Another asked, “What toe and do you need it?” I wondered which “it” he meant, the printer or the tootsie. And one of the more sensitive answers read, “You’re an idiot.”

But toes can come to the rescue, too. WeirdNews.About.Com reports that a Florida guy used his phalanges to save his life. When machinery he operated at DRS Technologies pinned his arms, he used his big toe to dial 9-1-1.

People possess some amazing toes, and plenty of them end up on YouTube. One video features a gal who can solve a Rubik’s Cube entirely with her feet. Another can tear out and light a match with her tootsies.

And a number of people can tie a shoe with their toes, though obviously, it’s on someone else’s foot.

Then I watched Mark Goffeney, born without arms, who plays guitar better with his feet than I could ever hope to with my hands. Appropriately, he calls his band “Big Toe”.