Confessions of a first time motherhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com
Mon, 19 Mar 2018 12:55:14 +0000enhourly1http://wordpress.com/https://s2.wp.com/i/buttonw-com.pngConfessions of a first time motherhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com
Sassy bloom box – get £10 offhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/sassy-bloom-box-get-10-off/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/sassy-bloom-box-get-10-off/#respondSat, 08 Aug 2015 09:26:31 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=84Continue reading Sassy bloom box – get £10 off]]>so I have only just discovered this…. It’s such an amazing concept and so much fun to get it in the post!!! Basically you order a box, put in baby’s details and they post it to you! Box costs £30 approx (cheaper depending on subscription) including delivery and the value is worth over £40. It comes with loads of cool stuff, all geared towards your baby’s age and development.

If you use code SASSY10 you’ll get £10 off too so essentially a half price box. Can’t imagine I’d order too many but really nice to get every couple of months!!!

]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/08/sassy-bloom-box-get-10-off/feed/0monstersmom2014So I’ve not posted in foreverhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/so-ive-not-posted-in-forever/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/so-ive-not-posted-in-forever/#respondFri, 07 Aug 2015 18:52:18 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=82Continue reading So I’ve not posted in forever]]>a combination of stopping breastfeeding (no free hand and faster feeding) and going back to work mean I haven’t had any time to post. I genuinely don’t know where the time has gone!!! In the space of a few months MM has joined the sitting, crawling and walking (yes, frightening) parties. Where has my baby gone?

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/08/07/so-ive-not-posted-in-forever/feed/0monstersmom2014Things I love about my 8 month oldhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/things-i-love-about-my-8-month-old/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/things-i-love-about-my-8-month-old/#respondTue, 05 May 2015 20:29:39 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=75Continue reading Things I love about my 8 month old]]>Every month MM gets cuter and I love having a baby more and more… Still not worked out whether he is actually getting easier or we are getting more competent (or a bit of both!?) but this month I am in love with the following:
– his beaming smile when he sees his mama
– his beaming smile when he sees his own reflection in the mirror
– generally just his beaming smile
– the way he jibber jabbers all day long and pauses at opportune moments so I can get a word in like a real conversation
– how he says ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ for no other reason than when he does H and I get so excited we clap and cheer him
– the way he puts his arms out for us
– the excited look on his face when he rolls over
– the way he copies everything (we should have really started watching our language as no doubt his first *real* word will be an expletive!)
– how he remembers that all the doors and drawers open and close and will insist on spending at least 10 minutes checking they do indeed still open and close on entering every room in the house
– how he can’t yet sit properly or crawl but insists on ‘walking’ everywhere (my poor back!!)
– how he cackles with delight when we pull funny faces and/or kiss his tummy
– how he likes it when we sing to him and if he likes the song will ‘sing’ along
– how he will be all whingey with us one minute and then suddenly be lovely and attention seeking when we have visitors
– how he’s a perfect excuse not to have to speak to one of those annoying people trying to get you to sign up for stuff in the street as he’s either screaming or sleeping (and if I stop he’ll wake up)
– that his favourite TV show is Tipping Point and I know it’s an hour of silence!
– that he’s the cutest child in existence (obviously not biased!!!)
– he knows how to kiss (well sort of…. When we ask for a kiss he gobs his mouth onto our cheeks!!)

]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/a-mothers-teething-survival-toolkit/feed/2monstersmom2014imageDummies have magical powers…. And other motherhood u-turns!!https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/02/dummies-have-magical-powers-and-other-motherhood-u-turns/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/02/dummies-have-magical-powers-and-other-motherhood-u-turns/#respondSat, 02 May 2015 09:34:36 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=66Continue reading Dummies have magical powers…. And other motherhood u-turns!!]]>Like most people (I am sure) I had millions of ideals about what motherhood was like. These were obviously shattered into a million little pieces when the baby arrived.

In no particular order:

1. I was adamant I was never giving my child a dummy. While they look quite sweet in the mouths of babes sucking away peacefully they look grim on a toddler (or older!) and I’ve heard how difficult it can be to get rid of them in older kids as the dummy fairy is usually required to exchange the dummies for a fairly expensive bribe!
– in reality MM likes to suck and usually falls asleep sucking. When I stopped breastfeeding I realised I needed to somehow replace the sucking as when I put him down in his cot ‘drowsy but awake’ he would immediately think it was playtime and therefore rebuking all plans of him going to sleep! The dummy really does have magical powers…. You pop it in, wait a few minutes and suddenly he’s asleep! Only problem is is that he usually spits it out once asleep and then he’ll wake up wondering where it is! This is why we end up co-sleeping as its easier to lean over to put in a fallen dummy than traipse across the hallway and have to get out of bed to put it back in!!

2. Co-sleeping. I felt that this was a bad idea on so many levels…. Firstly there was increased risk in squashing the baby, secondly it felt like it would create too much dependence and thirdly there is a fairly obvious impact to any intimacy with dear old hubby!
– in reality when MM refused to go back to sleep in his own bed at 4 months old and wanted to be held all night it was the only solution to all of us getting any sleep. Also, I don’t even think I move when I’m sleeping next to him and it’s nice to be able to hear him breathing softly next to me. Plus waking up next to his beautiful little face every morning (even if it is 5.30am) makes me smile! I assume at some point he will grow out of this and sleep all night in his own bed (currently he makes it until 1/2am in his own bed!!!)

3. Kids with snotty noses. Gross! Why can’t people just wipe their child’s face?!?!
– in reality babies hate their faces being wiped. Especially their noses! MM turns into a ninja when I try clean his face…. It is literally impossible to get near him. You have to turn it into a game and even then he screams if you do manage to wipe near the nose region. And then even when you do manage to get to it; 10 minutes later it’s snotty again. I’ve learned that some battles are just not worth it!

4. Not giving in to the baby’s every whim; it’s just going to set you up to fail in the long run right?
– in reality…. If it stops the screaming do it!! Do whatever gets you through the day (and night)

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/05/02/dummies-have-magical-powers-and-other-motherhood-u-turns/feed/0monstersmom2014A life in the day ofhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/a-life-in-the-day-of/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/a-life-in-the-day-of/#respondThu, 09 Apr 2015 18:26:43 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=56Continue reading A life in the day of]]>6.30 – baby is awake. Are we really starting the day now? Baby is chatting happily so I may as well go back to sleep

6.35 – spoke too soon. Baby is screaming! Hand over empty water bottle for him to play with

13.00 – try get baby to have a nap. I think it would be easier to obtain a physics degree (note: almost failed science at school!) End up cuddling baby with dummy in his mouth to get him to sleep #parentingfail. On the bright side managed to watch an episode of masterchef!

14.00 – baby has woken up happy. Bonus! Maybe he’ll play by himself while I do some tidying!? Place baby on playmat. Oh no what’s that you expect me to entertain you? Great! What songs do I know that don’t involve nursery rhymes? None? Ok we’ll have another rendition of ‘the wheels on the bus’!

15.00 – attempt to cook dinner ready for later. Place baby in highchair and stick down toys on the tray

15.10 – baby screams. All toys are now on the floor. That was heavy duty Velcro! How did you manage to remove it?

15.11 – make baby a bottle (did I mention he now drinks a bottle!? Hurrah!)

16.10 – baby now much happier. Clearly needed a poo! Get lots of cuddles, ‘kisses’ (I count it as a kiss when he sucks on my neck like a little vampire!), smiles and laughs!!! He’s actually the cutest, most wonderful baby in the world. Love him so much

16.45 – baby now tired. Has refused to nap all afternoon. Dummy trick didn’t work again. Also think baby is bored of me….. When will H be home? Ears hurt!

17.41 – baby so happy to see his dad: Immediately forgets he is tired and smiles, gurgles and coos. Erm hello I’ve been looking after you all day!!!

18.00 – H gives baby his bath. I have 5 minutes of quiet!

18.02 – eat dinner. Hooray for pre-cooked meals and microwaves!

18.10 – baby doesn’t want to come out of bath. Hear screams from the kitchen.

18.15 – breastfeed baby in his room. Ponder how long he will spend in said room tonight!

18.45 – baby is asleep. Put him in cot. Baby is aware he is being put down and puts up resistance. Baby wins! Stick him back on boob

19.10 – baby actually asleep now. Try to put him down. He stirs so remain sitting until breathing slows and he is actually asleep.

19.30 – baby is asleep and lying in cot. Creep out room

19.31 – sit on sofa with H and have actual real life adult conversation.

19.40 – run out of adult things to talk about so talk about the baby

19.45 – football is on so conversation stops. H has bought me a chocolate bribe to not complain about the football!

21.00 – baby is awake! Only bright side is I don’t have to watch football anymore!

21.30 – baby is asleep again

21.35 – get ready for bed. Wonder if it’s worth trying to actually go to sleep

21.40 – in bed

22.15 – just drifting off to sleep and baby wakes up. Obviously

22.30 – baby asleep again. Go back to bed

00.00 – baby wakes up.

00.20 – baby refuses to go back in cot. No energy to fight this battle. Take baby and sleep in spare room

03.30 – baby rooting for milk

03.35 – baby asleep

03.36 – I turn over

03.38 – baby realises my boob is no longer by his face. He protests loudly until I rectify the situation. He doesn’t want milk; just wants to knows it’s nearby. Great!

6.00 – baby is awake. Is it really morning again?!

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/a-life-in-the-day-of/feed/0monstersmom2014#parentingfailshttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/parentingfails/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/parentingfails/#respondSun, 05 Apr 2015 20:41:17 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=52Continue reading #parentingfails]]>so MM is still not 8 months yet I have already racked up about a million parenting fails… Oops!

1. I feed him to sleep. Still. I have no idea how to reverse this. Putting the baby down ‘drowsy but awake’ is like swearing in my house!
2. We end up co-sleeping at some point in the night. It’s the only way I get any decent sleep. The health visitors need not know.
3. I have dropped my phone on him. On the bright side he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.
4. I started weaning him at 5 months; I thought it would help him sleep. It didn’t!
5. I have given him chips at Nandos. He really liked them.
6. I let him play with the sky remote.
7. I let him watch TV. I *must* remember to get out of this habit before he understands what TV is.
8. H cut his fingers and made them bleed once when cutting his fingernails (thankfully this wasn’t my parenting fail!)
9. I caught his leg once while strapping him into the pram. I genuinely feel awful still about this one although once he’d had a cuddle and was stuck on the boob for a bit I don’t think he remembered.
10. He often wees in the bath and I continue to wash him. It’s sterile!
11. Speaking of sterile I never really sterilised properly. My rationale was he wasn’t bottle fed and put everything in his mouth anyway. Now he’s over 6 months you don’t technically need to so it’s all good!
12. I once drank a gin and tonic in the hope it would filter through and help the baby sleep but it made him wake more. Served me right for trying to be clever!
13. I once drove out my road before realising I hadn’t strapped the car seat in properly. Thankfully I realised!
14. I put a dirty nappy in with the washing by mistake once and didn’t re-wash the clothes…. They seemed clean enough after (and there was nothing of the baby’s!)
15. Sometimes if the baby sicks on himself I don’t bother changing him; I just wipe it off and hope he doesn’t smell of sick
16. Sometimes he only eats yoghurt and banana all day as I can’t be bothered to get him to eat real food if he’s not in the mood. I just tell myself that “food is for fun before one!”
17. I quite often spill/drop food on him if he won’t let me eat a meal without requiring holding. It’s never hot (no idea if parents ever get to eat hot meals) and I don’t think he’s ever noticed!!
18. I once left him in a poo-ey nappy most of the night as I hasn’t realised he’d poo’d!

On the bright side I’ve never left him anywhere so I’m doing better than David Cameron and I haven’t dropped him! I have been reliably informed it gets worse when they are mobile….

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/05/parentingfails/feed/0monstersmom2014The weetabix poohttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/the-weetabix-poo/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/the-weetabix-poo/#respondWed, 01 Apr 2015 14:23:20 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=49OMG! Literally the only thing I have to say about it. Almost as bad as the banana poo!!! Why did no one tell me it comes out looking the same as it did when it went in? Nothing else to add….

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/the-weetabix-poo/feed/0monstersmom2014Unanswered questionshttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/unanswered-questions/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/unanswered-questions/#commentsThu, 26 Mar 2015 19:00:43 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=44Continue reading Unanswered questions]]>There are so many things about babies I don’t understand and no one can tell you when you ask:

• why don’t babies come out understanding rational and logical thought?
• why can’t they tell the time? 2am is not a time for chatting
• why do they love playing with packets of wipes?
• why is your phone/the TV remote the best thing ever when there is a whole pile of age appropriate musical crap right in front of them?
• why do they want everything done 5 minutes ago? If you wanted to be picked up you only had to ask and not have a meltdown because I haven’t done it inside 2 seconds!
• why do they not like it when you wipe their faces without turning it into a game? Unless I say ‘beep beep’ in a funny voice MM screams and frantically turns his head away from me
• why do babies love labels?
• why do they sleep when you want them awake and are wide awake when you want them asleep?
• why do babies put everything in their mouths except for when you want them to eat something? (Because obviously then it goes on the floor!)
• how does the baby have a sixth sense for anytime you want a hot drink/something to eat/a quiet 5 minutes/a nap?
• how is it cute/great when a baby burps and poos but when an adult does it it’s just gross?
• why does the baby poo straight into a fresh nappy?

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]]>https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/03/26/unanswered-questions/feed/4monstersmom2014A revelationhttps://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/a-revelation/
https://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/a-revelation/#respondMon, 23 Mar 2015 21:44:34 +0000http://monstersmom2014.wordpress.com/?p=38Continue reading A revelation]]>I will take you back to where it all began and MM was just 5 days old. My intentions had always been to breastfeed but only for 6 months for a number of reasons. One being I just didn’t want to after 6 months which I do think is a perfectly legitimate reason not to breastfeed (and one which I think a lot of women are frightened to admit due to the (unfair) pressure to breastfeed…. Yes ‘breast is best’ (how can it not be) but your body; your child; your choice! In my opinion!) so anyway; I digress… 5 days into motherhood I managed to express a whole 2oz of milk with my newfangled super duper (super expensive!!) breast pump and H gave MM his first bottle. MM couldn’t drink it fast enough – the bottle itself was practically as big as him. For the next 5.5 weeks he had a few bottles a week so H could bond/give me a lie-in/ensure MM was used to having a bottle. I started to get a bit smug as my baby would drink from a bottle and the breast and would even drink a bottle straight out the fridge (although he often looked surprised at first when he realised it was cold!)

Then the problems hit…. At 6/7 weeks old babies become more aware of the world and start to realise they have a choice in their feeding methods (ie if they don’t like the bottle they know they won’t be left to starve) and at this point it is apparently quite common for them to reject one feeding method (it would have been really helpful to have known this before!!!) so MM decided the bottle wasn’t for him. I am pleased he rejected the bottle and not the breast if he was going to reject one but I had hoped he would be happy to have both. Because I am stubborn I decided to persevere, not yet realising that the baby has a much greater will than you. There were lots of tears (mainly mine) and the sight of the bottle alone was enough to provoke screaming. Great! I don’t even want to think about how many hours I sat attached to that blasted pump and how many litres of breastmilk I had to throw away… So many litres (whoever said there’s no point in crying over spilt milk had clearly never expressed!)

I read every book/forum/website, asked friends, asked every medical professional I came across, bought every bottle and teat known to mankind, tried every Tom, Dick and Harry giving the bottle, tried different times of day, tried tricking the baby (put him on the boob and then when he was settled and sucking slowly swiftly shove the bottle in); nothing! Literally no success at all. It was then 3 months in of trying literally everything I could think of I learned that no matter how stubborn I am, MM is more stubborn! It was at this point I decided to give it a break for a few weeks as I couldn’t face any more expressing or screaming! What irritated me most was that I wasn’t trying to give him anything different; it was still breastmilk just in slightly different packaging.

When MM was 5 months old I decided to try again but on the advice of a health visitor we tried a sippy cup. This was somewhat more successful but there was no actual drinking just a few sips, then screaming when MM realised he was actually expected to drink it, then flinging it across the room when he realised we were serious. It was more akin to dealing with a moody teenager than a baby! By this point I was literally having visions of breastfeeding a school-age child and had that Little Britain ‘bitty’ sketch haunting me. I did think it served me right for being a parental-judgey-pants before I had a baby!

So anyway I went to the North West baby show at the beginning of March and got a free Mam bottle (somehow this bottle never made it into my collection) and thought ‘may as well try’. MM was quite interested in it and was quite happy to chew on it and take a few sucks (by this point the breast pump had been confined to the loft and he was given formula) but we had no actual drinking (no screaming either though so definitely progress!)

So anyway a few attempts at the Mam bottle proved fruitless (although better than the others) and I was literally thinking he was never going to come off the boob. Then yesterday (Sunday) we went to an outside half-day event where there was literally no place to breastfeed, unless I did it by the side of the road, and quite frankly I wasn’t prepared to do that. So along with snacks, lunch and his water (that he’ll drink out of a sippy cup!) I packed a bottle of formula. I worked out that the Mam teats fit the Dr Browns bottles (which MM used when he drank from a bottle) and these were better than the Mam bottle as they were bigger and also had a little removable stopper to stop the bottle leaking. Sure enough, MM woke up from his nap as we were outside and walking by the road and demanded food. I thought I’d try the bottle and sat him upright in his pram. What happened next surprised, shocked and delighted me: HE DRAINED THE WHOLE 4oz BOTTLE IN UNDER 10 MINUTES!!! I was trying to act cool so as not to put him off but inside I was literally dancing and screaming with delight. I even took photos and videos to prove it happened (in case it didn’t happen again!) OMG….

So in order to prove this wasn’t a one-off today we went shopping and I figured I would take another bottle with (this time 6oz) and lo and behold he drank it…. With very little encouragement. MM started to fuss as we were queuing for a restaurant so without getting him out of the pram I whipped out the bottle and gave it to him and he drank 3oz in one go. I was amazed! Then when we sat down at our table he polished off the rest! I really hope this is the turning point for us but now I’ve blogged about it I have a sneaking suspicion he will decide he no longer likes the bottle anymore! For now at least he will drink out of a Dr Brown bottle with a Mam teat!!! HOORAY