Pirates Raid Bookshop, Charles Dickens Possibly not available for another 100 yearsMayhem erupted today after Portsmouth Pirates raiding the local bookstore discovered many great worlds authors, won't get writing for another century.

'Awww crikey' said Pieces of Nine ...I've heard of an early clearance sale, but this is ridiculous...'

Tiddles quest for world domination has been thwarted by a small hairy* * * *

Black Bart's Mum Found, ClaimsHe Was Adopted"We picked 'im up on a raidin' party." Missus Roberts said in a carrier-pigeon interview from Central America. "Then, wen 'e wernt so cute anymores, we just coudint get rid of 'im. So we raised sails an' moved to the Aztecs an' dint tell 'im."

Black Bart Insists ***

I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

Detective TurtleHolmes Gives Up On The Case Of TheApple Snatcher of LondonDetective TurtleHolmes has given up on a case after many speculate that his recent health problems were the result of too many apples.

The case is now being investigated by Detective Stalin, but no leads have been found.

Archeologist Dr Cedric Porthole may have uncovered a prehistoric link to the past. Remnant pirate remains unearthed include a Peg-Leg Tree Stump, A T.Rex Leather Eye Patch, Skeletal remains of a Pterodactyl on a caveman's shoulder and a Cave of ill-repute with strange fertility symbols.

Dr Porthole remarked 'We may have found the missing link. The missing link was Pirates'

Principal Cullinane found in Portsmouth Pirate Public School pool with several Yellow Rubber DucksMister Cullinane was later hanged for gross misconduct and immature behaviour, namely imitating the squeaks of said ducks.

Prince Yeolde Found Dead In Tavern, Police Suspect *******

A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.