Lance Bass Visits Kenyon to Discuss LGBTQIA+ Issues

The thing about this little liberal arts school named Kenyon College is that sometimes things happen on this hill that are so strange, so unprecedented, that you are forced to question the reality of your existence on this plane.

Peirce serves taco pizza. Kittens live in pipes near Caples, surviving off of Cheetos.

Lance Bass, of *NSYNC fame and a strong, currently active presence in most of my ideals of love and success, shows up in the middle of the day with little to no prior advertising to talk about LGBTQIA+ issues in America.

It is moments like today, at around 2:45 in Peirce that you begin to question whether whatever intoxicants you imbibed before, during, or after Deb Ball have actually worn off.

This might drive some of you to ask: Why Lance? Why now?

And to you wet blankets, I say…

Who better to make all of the citizens of Ye Ol Gambier realize that, with regards to who holds the power in this election, It’s Gonna Be Me?

Who better to stand in front of all the generally unregistered voters of this hallowed campus and say, “U Drive Me Crazy”?

Who better, truly, to makes us say Bye Bye Bye to those that treat LGBTQIA+ issues with apathy?

Now you should understand, I have a 2:40 class on Tuesdays. I will be suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and every second I spend in Olin Auditorium forcibly distanced from Lance Bass will certainly be Tearin’ Up My Heart. But while my schedule and his didn’t seem to be *NSYNC on today of all days, that doesn’t mean I won’t tweet at him asking to fetch dinner at the VI. Because, my fellow Americans, God has approached us today with one of his greatest gifts — and while Lance and crew won’t be bringing sexy back with my pal JT or Dancing with the Stars champ Joey Fatone — we cannot sit idly by and let this strange happening on the hill occur with the same stoicism with which we approach Peirce’s taco pizza or the Pipe Cats in Caples.

Lance Bass, of *NSYNC fame and a strong presence in most of my childhood ideals of love and success, shows up in the middle of the day with little to no prior advertising to talk about America.

And now is the time, once again, to question the reality of your existence on this plane.

Or, at the very least, take this miracle and use it to find out in advance who won Finding Prince Charming, which airs full episodes on Logo.tv and is highly recommended by this Thrill contributor.