Thursday, April 15, 2010

She was on the cover of an ad brochure one of my drug reps dropped off. It's for a pill used for excessive daytime sleepiness.

What I think is funny, though, is that the pictures on the left (the "before drug" shots) are supposed to be abnormal.

Lets start at the top:

1. Lady dozing off at work. Who doesn't do that here and there? Hell, I slept through most of my pathology class in medical school. To this day I'm conditioned to automatically nod off when I hear the word "amyloid". And it's not even like she has a can of the sacred waters next to her.

2. Lady finding ironing boring and tiresome. As if anyone froths at the bit and has an adrenaline surge at the thought of finally getting to that mountain of wrinkled clothes.

3. This one is my favorite. The lady has fallen asleep while her boyfriend/husband is watching sports. Mrs. Grumpy is the sports person at out house, but I know plenty of women who consider dozing off in these situations to be perfectly normal. Let's face it- I'm pretty sure he's not watching figure skating.

Personally, if I see anyone who looks like the lady on the right at work or doing housework, I think they need their Lithium dose lowered.

You're missing out on the real purpose of the drug -- to make you H.O.T.T. You must have been sleeping through that lecture in med school when we learned that being ugly (or even less H.O.T.T. than you could be) is a medical disease.

In other words, the purpose of this drug is to turn this woman from an autonomous individual into an obedient drone who's energetic and enthusiastic about performing tedious chores that benefit her boss and her boyfriend/husband. Just out of curiosity, does it come in the form of drops that can be surreptitiously used to spike other people's drinks? Because it looks like they're marketing it not so much to her as to the people who want to exploit her.

Taken directly from the manufacturer's webpage....It kinda speaks for itself...All I can say is WOW!!

•Divide XYREM starting dose into 2 equal doses (2.25 g into each dosing cup) ◦Dilute each of the 2 doses with approximately 2 oz of water (60 mL, ¼ cup, or 4 tablespoons)◦Due to its short half-life, XYREM oral solution is taken in 2 equal doses at night: ■XYREM should be titrated to effect◦Keep both doses at bedside in dosing cups with child-resistant caps◦Take the first dose while sitting up in bed, immediately before lying down to go to sleep◦Take the second dose 2½ to 4 hours later◦Patient may need to set the alarm for second dosePatient should prepare both nighttime doses prior to bedtime.

my mama has an addition. *hangs head* to spray starch. yes, spray starch. she looks at me and i can SEE her fingers twitching, right hand curled around an invisible iron, left hand perked to push the button on top of the spray starch, already longing for that *hsssss* as it hits the fabric then the larger *HSSSSS* as the iron hits the fine mist of starch on the shirt she's twitching to iron.

me? ironing is against my religion. and i buy crinkle-fabric shirts JUST to watch her eyelid twitch. ;)

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

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