But finding out whether your teenager has got the all-important grades can be tough on parents too.

All the hard work is distilled into one moment as the envelope which decides their future is opened.

As parents or carers all we can do is try to recall the horrible tension of results day and the feeling when we did or did not quite make the grades we hoped for.

If your young person comes home in tatters, dreadfully upset that they haven’t done as well as they hoped or expected, the first thing to do, surely, is to give them a big hug and assure them you love them regardless.

But what else should you tell them - and what should you avoid saying?

Tell your teenager you love them whatever the results

If they were lazy and didn’t listen when you begged them to revise, try not to remind them. It never helps when people say: “I told you so”.

If your teenager found the exam bad on the day, didn’t put in the work or just doesn’t excel at certain subjects, try to gauge their mood before speaking and never, ever compare what they have done to how much better you or others performed.

Never make comparisons. If tempted, leave the room for a few minutes to calm down.

If you think something is genuinely wrong and the results are surprisingly poor, you could suggest contacting the school or college to ask advice. Querying results can lead to re-marking and re-grades, though success of appeals are not guaranteed.

Look for their strengths beyond exams

Remember the disappointed young person may not yet be ready to think of re-sits or repeating a year, or may already have decided for or against it.

School isn’t the best place for everybody, even if that’s what we’re led to believe.

Try to be clear whether disappointment is justified. Remember the amount of revision done does not always tally to the grades obtained.

Some pupils toil much harder for a C than others may for an A grade so if that’s the case tell your young person to celebrate their Cs, or Ds. You’ll know whether it’s warranted.

Take time to think what to do next

Three Cs for A-levels may be a gut wrenchingly bad result for a pupil needing three As for the course they dreamed of pursuing, but a victory for the student who hauled herself up from a predicted three Ds a year earlier.

Ds may be cause to say “well done, now you’ve shown you can do that, do you want to try for a C?” but results day may be a little early to suggest that. Again, try to read the signs. Don’t go in with all guns blazing suggesting this or that option. Try to listen to what your teenager says.

Stay calm and open minded to the possibilities offered by less high flying grades. Perhaps your teenager may want to take up an apprenticeship? Some offer to put candidates through training and higher education while many can lead to well paid jobs.

Take a gap year

Maybe poor exam results will mean they have the space to take stock and think about what they really want to do rather than rushing onto a university or college course they may drop out of later?

Perhaps they are more suited to action than academia? Maybe they just need a gap year to grow up in?

Consider all the possibilities together that you can. See this as a motivating project, rather than a cause for despair.

Learning how to handle failure is an essential part of life.

Ask for advice from schools and universities

Results day might be emotionally charged and tiring for the whole family.

UCAS can advise on clearing for university places, schools can tell you if you should think of appealing for re-grades. while careers services offers information on apprenticeships and training.

If your child is in despair remind them of all the successful people who didn’t do well at exams.

Richard Branson got where he is in business powered by just three O-levels. John Major became Prime Minister on the same amount of O-levels,

Arguably the 20th century’s most renowned genius Albert Einstein dropped out of high school and Winston Churchill was reportedly bad at maths.

These are just some in a long line of examples, but remind your child you’re not expecting them to become a stateswoman or multi-millionaire.