After three and a half years off the ice, gold-medal winning Russian figure skater and parfum hawker Yevgeny Plushenko has returned, dragging behind him all the prima donna habits he’s acquired in the years of socialite-bouncing twixt then and now.

He skated, he skated perfectly, he said, and yet, he only won silver.

So a very pissed Plushenko took it to the press.

“I was positive that I won,” Plushenko said. “But I saw that [gold winner] Evan [Lysacek] needs a medal more than I do. Maybe because I already have one.” Or maybe, Plushenko alleged, because it was all a conspiracy — not this one, though — involving American ticket sales to figure skating events, for which Lysacek had to win over Plushenko. This, Plushenko told the Russian press, was “clear and obvious.”

Another person who seemed to think so is Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, long a proponent of putting on the diplomatic rhetorical ritz in public, sent a message to Plushenko today.

“It’s always something about an American conspiracy when we win, isn’t it?”

That comes across as a little conceited. Plushenko landed jumps nobody else did, so no doubt he’d have complained no matter which flag flew above his. Figure skating has always had this pull between athleticism and aesthetic beauty. What separates it from dance?

I find Plushenko dull to watch, but his athleticism is not in question. I imagine we’ll continue to see situations like this so long as the sport exists.