Christmas Comedies

December 15, 2011

Christmas is a time for caring, laughter, friends and family. And, beyond a doubt, stress! But it's also a time, despite what all the politically-correct things say, to remember the origins of Christmas...a baby, born under a star, sent to save mankind from sin. Ya, I'll say it...happy birthday, baby Jesus. Yes, I realize religions other than Christianity have events during this time as well - Hanukkah (Jewish), Kwanzaa (African-American), Las Posadas (Mexico - but even this is a re-enactment of Joseph looking for room at the inn), and maybe a few more that I don't know about.

However, I'm not going to focus on the religious arguments around Christmas. In honor of the very special baby born on Christmas day, I'm focusing on children - and the funny/cute things they say/do at this time of year. Thanks to all the parents and grandparents who inspired these posts.

SANTA IS REAL
Yes, St. Nicholas is a real person. He's not quite the Santa we know today, but he did give away his possessions and dedicated his life to the needy. However, to many young kids, Santa is a stranger - and a strange man. Who dresses in red from head to foot, laughs and tries to hold you on his lap, all the while asking your deepest secret - what do you want for Christmas? - and your darkest secret - have you been a good kid this year?

Inevitably, we have the stories of kids screaming and reaching for parents, while the parent is saying "Just smile for the camera. It's ok!" (Yep, that was me when my daughter was 9 months old...didn't try repeating that one! Poor kid is a Santaphobic).

One parent told me that when her son was 4, Santa came to his preschool. The child refused to go anywhere near Santa...he told his teacher that his Mommy didn't allow him to talk to strangers! Instead of the traditional photo of the kid sitting on Santa's lap, their photo was of their son sitting on the floor about 4 ft from Santa!

LET'S FACE IT, PARENTS USE SANTA
Ya, if we want our kids to behave, we use the "Santa is watching you" trick. Funny, as a kid, I only ever heard that phrase in December...but wasn't he watching all year? However, for one little girl, Santa DID catch her being naughty and no one will be able to convince her that Santa doesn't see everything. This little girl was excited because Santa was visiting their church, courtesy of a church member. After the service, she took off running from her mother, who ran after her, yelling at her to stop. She ran out of the church, across the street (without looking) and into the building where Santa was going to be - all the while ignoring her fearful mother's screams. When she sat on Santa's lap and told him what she wanted for Christmas, Santa asked if she was good or naughty. She, of course, replied good. Boy, was she surprised when he said "No, you haven't been. You've been naughty. I saw you run away from your mommy, ignore her screams, run across the street without looking, and now you're lying." Oops...

SANTA BRINGS PRESENTS
All I want for Christmas is a house elf. One who magically keeps my house clean. That's it...not too much, right? Kids understand that Santa is that magic person who will bring them what they want. Lucky for them, Santa is keeping up with all this technology! I mean, we have people who talk about the "good ole' days" - can you imagine talking with an elf! Well, here's a few funny stories about gifts:

My daughter loves to open presents. My husband tried to sneak one to my parents' house before Christmas, which didn't work because I found it. I set it out with the rest of our luggage to be loaded into the car and then I ran to an appointment. When I returned, my husband was standing in our front yard with an angry expression. He informed me that my daughter had something to tell me. I went inside and found her crying on the floor and she blubbered "I openneded your present, Mommmmmyyyyy." I started laughing while trying to comfort her. Serves my husband right for not loading the car like he was supposed to! She just wanted to open the present!

One little girl was about 4 when she told Santa that her Mommy wanted him to bring her and her sister straight jackets for Christmas. However, she really didn't want a new coat.

One little boy informed his younger sister, in conversation: "I was naughty in 2009 and Santa brought me presents, and I was naughty in 2010 and he brought me presents, so I guess I get presents this year too."

Another little girl is afraid to be naughty. She believes Santa will bring her a "cold" for Christmas because last year, she got very sick during Christmas. She was very naughty right before getting sick and has now associated her behaviors to her illness.

This child is very simple about her requests for Santa. She told her father that she wanted 2 presents. When he asked what she wanted, she replied "I want orange ones."

PARENTS TRUMP SANTA
Our love for our kids FAR outweighs and outlasts Santa's presents...although, thanks to my baby sister (12-13 years younger than me) who allowed me to get presents from Santa far longer than I otherwise would have! However, this little girl's mother wins even bigger! (I've left the story in her words, omitting the names):

My favorite thing that my daughter ever said about Christmas was one year when she was 5. I'd taken her to see Santa at the Mall. Her rule was that she could ask for ONE gift from Santa. When she got up there, she asked for a stuffed animal... Rudolph doll. Santa said sure, sure, what else, and she told him that she was only allowed to ask for one gift. Santa glared at me and told her that she could ask for whatever she wanted. My daughter said "Santa, NO! Don't you dare bring me anything else, because then my mom won't let you come to my house anymore!" Yes. Mommy beats Santa. There is justice in this world.

YOUR STORIES
Feel free to login/register and tell us your favorite Christmas children stories. Be it earlier today or 20 years ago, children crack us up!