Can You Be A Midwife If You Have A Chronic Illness?

Hannah first got in contact with me in 2015, when she was unsure she could achieve her goal of training as a midwife.

She has a chronic pain condition called fibromyalgia.

She was just coming up to leaving college and I could tell she had a lot to offer women and families because of what she'd faced in life so far. This is what we worked together to communicate in her personal statement.

Hannah's story reminds me that the wisest students and midwives I've come across have often coped with unholy life circumstances.

They've succeeded because of these, not in spite of them. If you've faced illness, family challenges, being a single parent when that was never what you planned, bereavement, etc. you have your centre and your understand that everyone's struggles are difficult and mostly unseen.

In terms of chronic conditions, you do need to be of 'good health and good character' to train as a midwife. But the disability discrimination act means reasonable adjustments can be made so you can achieve your goal.

The challenges Hannah has overcome to work in her chosen profession are incredible. We want this post to be inspirational for anyone with health problems who is considering becoming a midwife.

And hopefully, this will spread the word about these chronic conditions too, as it was International Awareness Day for Chronic Immunological and Neurological Diseases on May 12th.

'Today is a bad day. I know everyone has bad days, so I am told constantly by all my ‘well’ peers. This is different though. I can’t be touched, so much as even a poke or the pressure from wearing a t-shirt on my skin is enough to cause stabbing pain all over my entire body.

Do I lie down? Do I get up? Lying down causes pain whichever way I position myself; I am not strong enough to sit up. Attempting to get out of bed could take hours. Do I shower or brush my teeth? This is a question I ask myself on a bad day. I know that sounds excessive, but sometimes it really is one or the other. Either way, I’ll be back in bed afterwards.

Do I go out with my friends today and pay for it tomorrow, or not take the risk? Either way, I’ll be in pain and bed-bound during a flare up, so why not go all out and enjoy myself for a few hours? That is if my anxiety allows, obviously. The fear of being in pain when I am out is sometimes enough to stop me trying altogether.

Chronic illness. Misunderstood, ignored and judged. I don’t blame you really. Even the doctors don’t know why I feel so dreadful. I judge myself, sometimes. Am I just making it all up? Should I just try harder? Maybe when I get out of bed I will feel better. Maybe if I go out I’ll just forget about it. Maybe if I just pretend to be cured, it will all go away?

I realise these are stupid things to think. I realise this is real, very real. I feel the pain on a daily basis. I am exhausted constantly, despite sleeping for 12 hours straight and doing nothing all day long. I experience severe anxiety and depression. I can’t think straight half the time. Am I even making sense right now? I can’t eat certain foods or drink alcohol. I can’t go on nights out, or so much as doing the weekly shop. Why can’t anyone else see this too? I said to the doctor, this tramadol isn’t touching the pain. It isn’t even making me drowsy.

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Well keep trying. You are too young and too slim for me to give anything stronger.’ But I am in pain. Why does my age and physique determine the treatment I receive?

Thankfully, I have good days too. The good days allow me to pursue a career in midwifery. I was told I could never do this, I believed it too. How could I cope? It is a well-known fact that even without health problems, the midwifery degree is intense.

I couldn’t let the illness win. I embarked on this journey and it has been harder than I could have ever imagined. Academically, I am coping. All exams and assignments passed. Physically, it has been hard. I can only do the drive to university once aweek, before the pain is too much (thank you to my lovely car shares who have saved the day on many occasion) and I need adaptations in placement.

I coped well in the community. On my first week on delivery suite, I did consecutively a day and two nights. Why did I think this was a good idea? By the final night, at 5 am, after an emergency caesarean section, I was in tears. It was too much to deal with. Thank you to my lovely mentor who treated me with respect and understanding. Safe to say that I slept for 3 days straight after that.

I was proactive and decided that I would never do more than 1-2 shifts in a row and most definitely limit night shifts. Now, it is bearable. The long shifts are a killer for my entire body. I do sleep for at least 12 hours’ post shift and need days to recover. I do have moments where my hands are too painful to take blood, or that I have to sit down when caring for women in labour.

There are midwives who don’t understand and will tell me to ‘get on with it.’ To that, I say, ‘No. Would you ask someone with a broken leg to stand up all day?’

I am as perfectly capable as anyone else to carry out this role. Yes, sometimes I need to make adjustments, but this does not affect my competence. I have caught babies, carried out examinations and had many skills signed off. I will work hard and I know my limits. I am succeeding against the odds.

So, if you or someone you know suffers from a chronic illness and is hoping to pursue a career in midwifery, what advice would I give?

I would say that it is possible. It is hard, but it is possible. Think about it carefully. You know your own limits. Don’t put your health in danger, but at the same time, don’t deprive yourself of fulfilling your potential.

Adjustments can be made and you are protected by the equalities act. People may ask questions, frown and treat you differently, but this is not a reflection on you. They can’t see how you feel inside unless you tell them. Be open and honest.

If you experience discrimination, report it. If you need a day off, take it. If you need an extension on a deadline, ask for it. If you need painkillers, take them. If you need to sit down, find a chair.

Most importantly, do not be afraid to say NO - I can’t do that today.

You are not here to please people. You are here to protect yourself and others. Sometimes, you just can’t do the things that people ask and that is ok. Nobody can do it all.

We sufferers can function normally. We are not always suffering. Good days do not mean we are cured, bad days do not mean we are useless. These illnesses can be managed. They don’t have to be life limiting. We can reach our goals. We can live a normal life. We just need to understand ourselves and be honest with our struggles.

To those suffering, you are warriors. You are brave. You are strong. Treatments will be discovered and one day, we will not have to explain ourselves. Please reach out – I am here for you.'

The truth is when you look at successful people close up, they've often had an uncertain, almighty struggle to get where they are. Usually, it's the commitment to doing something that's most important to your success, not how easy you find it.

And living the life you choose for yourself, no matter what anyone else may think, is fundamental to making the most of the short time you have on the planet.

And that's how amazing student midwives like Hannah are made, against the odds 🙂

Hannah and I would love to hear what you thought of this post and your own story as an aspiring, student or qualified midwife.

Leave us a comment letting us know:

1) What important insight into chronic conditions did you take from this post?

2) Do you have a chronic illness and despite this, are pursuing midwifery?

3) Which of your life experiences do you think will be most influential on your practice as a midwife?

Hi there- thanks for sharing. My dearest of friend suffers from the same chronic pain as you. I knew her before she had it ‘diagnosed to her and it hurts to see her go through those Longs days but now she understands she’s not just making it up. She’s had to defend herself before due to her constant sitting down but I could truly see her when she was in pain. Anyone that takes the time to ‘See’ someone and get to know them Knows when there hurting- when thier friend is pushing pass thier boundaries. Honestly reading this post I thought well you dealing with this chronic pain makes you that much More qualified to Midwife. A midwife watches for a women’s bondaries- helps her get closer or when to say hey breath then get to that boundary again to get that babe out <3 great job and keep doing exactly what your doing because it's clearly working 🙂 <3

Thank you for your kind words Sarah! I am sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard when people don’t believe you are in pain. Everything seems to be going well so far so hopefully that will continue. I hope that you are well. Hannah x x

Ellie and Hannah, what a great read and I can totally empathise. At the age of 41 and following my hip replacement I set out on a 4 year Midwifery degree program, my arthritis which necessitated my hip replacement is in my knees, my back, my feet and to a small extent my hands. I loved attending college however placement was a great challenge especially when a default in my hip required a revision at the end of year one. As you say Hannah the long days are so debilitating and need recovery. By the time I reached internship in 4th year I requested to do 4 shorter days and to work on the smaller postnatal ward. On a daily basis certain things were hard and supporting breastfeeding made in cry afterwards in pain. However I’m now nearly six years qualified, I work in an antenatal clinic setting and I do 28 hours a week. Work still has its challenges however my immediate colleagues are amazing, I feel very supported. I’m currently just about to embark on the last module of my masters and on the 28th of April I won the MAMA conference ‘midwife of the year’. My advice to anyone with a disability with a dream is to go for it, the challenges both physically and mentally sometimes feel insurmountable but they’re worth it..best of luck Hannah, you’ll get there and your experience will shape you into a very empathetic and compassionate midwife x Jeannine

Hi Jeannine, thank you for your very kind and moving message. I am so glad that you have found a job that works for you, causing the least pain possible. It is difficult but you have inpsired me, hopefully I will be able to find something that suits me when qualified! Congratulations on your masters and winning midwife of the year. What an incredible achievement! I hope that you continue to beat the challenges and provide fantastic care to the women in your antenatal clinic. Hannah x x

I’ve just handed in my resignation at my work while still awaiting Occ Health sign off – I have severe depression and anxiety and was diagnosed with ME in 2000 – this has helped me so much to see that people with health issues can do this and inspire others. Thank you so much for such an honest and reassuring post – it’s hard and in bad days it’s almost unbearable but if you want something badly enough you can reach your goals 🙂 you’ve helped me no end!!

Thank you for your kind words Amanda 🙂 I am sorry that you have been struggling too. You can do whatever you want to do if you put your mind to it and accept that you need adjustments. Sometimes that is the hardest part! Good luck with everything! Hannah x x

This is a good read on a day like today. I am a homebirth midwife and I have been diagnosed with Endometriosis 7 years ago. Many surgeries later and as it comes struggling with Infertility as well as pain and all sorts I today have been told I need another surgery asap to remove a giant cyst that is going to probably cost me my ovaries. This is most likely also cost one of my clients her homebirth which saddens me even more. However I have been able to pursue my dream job for years and will continue to do so. Homebirth gave me the chance to pick my own client load and so less nights and no long days so it enables me to work around those bad days where I am hibernating on the couch with the hot water bottle to ease the pain. We can still be there for others while looking after ourselves! Don’t mind people that judge, they simply don’t know what it is like to walk in your shoes!

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope that the surgery is successful and your pain will reduce slightly. You are inspiring to be continuing with your career when you are in so much pain. I hope to have the same flexibility when qualified! Thank you for your message. Hannah x x

I am in my second year of midwifery course and I am struggling because I unfortunately suffer from endometriosis. I have had 2 surgeries last year and had to defer for 6 months after that. Now that I am back, I have a lot of bad days as one of my mentors only does night shifts which makes my condition a lot worse. I am getting towards the end of my second year and I have 183 hours to make up on top of making my time in placement, writing a complex essay on pre-eclampsia and preparing for the OSCES. I had a meeting with my cpf and I don’t think she believes me. I am nit in wheelchair, I don’t look disabled but the pain is very real. No arrangements were made regarding my condition. She told me I need to try to manage my disease so it doesn’t get in the way of my studies otherwise it will be difficult for me get a job and work once qualified. I completely understand where she is coming from but she does not seem to realise that I cannot help being in pain. Am I allowed to ask not to be put on nights or have breaks between long shifts ?Some of my lecturers and mentors are extremely supportive though. I am very grateful for that.
Thank you so much for this post ! It is nice to feel less alone.

Oh blimey Sarah, this isn’s a fair situation. Are you a union member? Even as a student you can get support to know your rights. I believe reasonable adjustments must be made for you. Good luck, do get in touch on ellie@midwifediaries.com if you’d like!

Hi Sarah, I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time. I am also potentially suffering from endometriosis, in diagnosis stages, so I can understand your pain too. You can absolutely ask not to do nights and ask for days between shifts, perhaps a doctors note stating this would help? You do have to be dedicated to the course, but they also have to be accommodating. I know many qualified midwives who do not work nights, or do short shifts, so it is entirely possible. I wish you the best of luck for the remainder of your course. Speak to the lecturers, they will be able to provide information to your placement stating you need adjustments. Most of all, your health comes first. Do not do anything that pushes you too much as it will make things worse. Please do get in touch if you want to talk. Hannah x x

Thankyou so much for putting this together Hannah and Ellie. It has helped and inspired me so much. I am starting an access course this September and will be applying to do the midwifery degree shortly after the access has started. I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis for 14 years and although extremely determined, am feeling rather nervous about managing my illness around being a student. You have really encouraged me and it’s good to know there is support out there- if you make sure you ask for it! I wish you all the luck for your career in midwifery, you’re doing amazing. Hana x x

Hi Hana, good luck with your access course. Sometimes the hardest part is taking the plunge and going for it in the first place. Honestly, you will not be the only one struggling with an illness of some sort. Honesty is the best policy. I hope that everything goes well for you. Thank you for your kind words. Hannah x x

THANK YOU for this post. It is so nice to not feel alone . I have Ulcerative Colitis and experience everything you mentioned . I am halfway through second year but it has not been without horrendous struggles but I am still here. Maybe we could start a Facebook support group for student / qualified midwives who have a chronic illness or disability so we can all help each other. Thanks again .

Thought provoking read. I have had Rheumatoid Arthritis for about 10 years and take a lot of immuno suppressants including injections. After three decades in the hospital setting I now only work 2 days a week as this is what works best for my health and family. I have tried other working hours which had an impact on my health and quality of life. There are weeks where I can’t do much more than sleep and my 2 shifts.
I don’t tend to discuss my health situation much at work unless it comes up with a trusted colleague.
We all make choices about careers and life etc and I figure most people have their own battle of some sort. On my drive in to work I tend to spend some time reflecting on how much I love my work and what I can do to provide optimal care for the women and families I am caring for.
This helps me to be prepared emotionally for the rigours of a physically and emotionally demanding profession.
There are lots of opportunities in Midwifery once you have some experience so it is a matter of creating a working life that works for you and your organisation.

I have just qualified and have begun my preceptorship. I have Crohn’s disease and was very lucky that I only had one surgery in my three years of training. My university were not very helpful and didn’t offer any kind of recognition (or support) of how hard it is to this with a chronic illness. However, my new employer are very accommodating and supportive of my needs.
I think my personal life suffered more as I am pretty much out for the count after a long day. My advice would be to be very organised and plan ahead, if you need extra time to complete uni work then don’t be afraid to ask.

Thank you so much for this I have fibromyalgia and have finally applied this year to do midwifery training (I’m still waiting to see if I get in) after believing for a long time that I wouldn’t be able to do so. It wasn’t until I spoke with a mentor at the university I’m applying too who reassured me that I can. Story’s like this make the dream even more of a reality! Thank you so much! X

Thank you so much for this article Hannah! You are an inspiration 🙂 I have suffered from ME for ten years now and so have put my dreams on hold. Reading this has made me realise it might be possible and I will hopefully start access in September x

Hi hannah and Ellie, this was a much needed read today. I’m a first year student with a long madical history of chiari malformation with neurological problems causing many horrid symptoms. I have fought to get where I am now and have many days at the moment where I wonder if I can actually carry on and achieve my dream of becoming a midwife. Reading this has helped me feel I’m not alone with my struggles and to keep perusing my dream. Hannah I think we have chatted when I started midwifery and your advice of getting support was much apriechiated. Many thanks ladies xx

I have been worrying about whether I will be allowed to be a midwife because I have a Urinary Catheter due to chronic retention… it has changed my life for the better and has enabled me to get on with my life and subsequently I am now studying again… I want to go to Uni next year (2019) and train to be a midwife but still worry if I will be allowed to practice.

Tamara, I don’t know for sure but as long as you can do the job, I can’t imagine it would be an issue. I think your best bet is to join The Secret Community For Midwives In The Making here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1502481079993917/?fref=nf Perhaps ask the question and see if the hive mind can help? Good luck!

I’ve got to the stage where I’m writing my personal statement and I had a horrifying feeling that I’ve made a terrible mistake even considering applying for a midwifery degree, I have suspected endometriosis and am under the impression they’ll see “potential chronic illness” on my health check and completely dismiss me, I didn’t know you can ask for breaks between shifts when on placement and lesser nights, hopefully I’ll have a diagnosis by the time I start my course (if I’m lucky enough to be accepted on the course), I’ve never been more determined to complete something in my life and don’t want potential endometriosis to get in my way! Thank you Hannah for making it all seem a bit more possible!

What an excellent read Hannah and Ellie!
I have suffered from endometriosis for 12 years now and various stomach illnesses. Along with that for years on end I have felt extreme fatigue and a general feeling that my body is falling apart. I am a second year student and have just taken a year out due to needing surgery and being diagnosed with an underlying adrenal deficiency. Having people look at you differently because there is always something wrong with you, or you have a cold or infections a lot is heartbreaking. When people don’t understand what your going through and judge you because your unwell again has been really difficult for me. When you know your own body and know there has to be something more going on it can be difficult to get through day to day things. Now I know there IS something underlying and it’s being dealt with has felt as though I’ve a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. However, it is still difficult to get up in a morning, to force myself to have a shower, even to eat. Although I am going through this and have only found a small percentage of people who have been there for me I feel like these life challenges with provide me with resilience. It’s hard to find that get up and go when you have a chronic illness but having that support from others and adjustments on placements etc it makes it all worth while in the end. I return to uni next September and I will return stronger than ever and use these life experiences to get me where I want to be. Good luck to everyone in similar circumstances you will all make amazing midwives. Thank you Hannah and Ellie for making people aware that there are people that suffer with unseen chronic illnesses!

Thank you so much for this post. It made me cry.
I also have fibromyalgia and have recently decided it’s time to give midwifery a second shot. It’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was a little girl and was heartbroken when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I thought it was game over for my midwifery dreams.
This post has confirmed to me that I can do this. Fibromyalgia can’t hold me back anymore x