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Asking Your Partner for Kinky Sex

If you are wanting to have more exciting sex,
and you still need to communicate to your partner, you might be wondering how
to initiate that conversation. It can be hard to talk to your partner about
sex, especially when you are talking about things that you want to try
differently or more often.

How do
I Bring it Up?

It might be hard, but you need to bring up the
topic of trying kinky sex in a neutral place before sex is initiated. This can
alleviate any of the pressure midsex, and instead let your partner know that
you’re just thinking about the new things that you can try to make sex more
enjoyable for both of you.

If you are struggling to bring kinky sex up in
casual conversation before having sex with your partner, try to take a
questionairre together or play a game together that involves learning more
about your sexual preferences. This can make it so the barrier surrounding sex
is already broken, and you are instead focused on making your partner happy,
and vice versa.

Tips
for Talking

Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings, as
they might start feeling insecure about the performance they’re putting on in
bed, when in reality there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing now, you
just want to try something new.

That being said, make sure not to also make it
only about what you want. Ask your partner if they have fantasized about
anything that they’ve wanted in bed, and talk about the possibility of doing
that in addition to kinky sex.

This also makes sure that your partner knows
their fantasies matter too, and that they are being communicated with and
listened to. If your partner wants to try something new in bed as well, maybe
you can make a compromise so that you can both accomplish your fantasies while
still not jumping out of your comfort zone.

You also need to focus on your tone when
bringing up this conversation, because your partner might not be prepared for
the topic and might be worried they’re in trouble or not doing well when having
sex.

You don’t want to make your partner feel like
you’re angry with them, or upset with your sex life now. This can turn the
conversation into a different one, so making sure that you have a positive or
neutral tone of voice can alleviate the stress of possible conflict.

While it can be difficult to talk to your
partner about kinky sex, it can be beneficial for you and your partner to start
the conversation slowly and confidently so that your sex can be the same. If
you talk to your partner and find that they are not open to kinky sex, talk
about alternatives so that both of you can feel satisfied while still gaining
pleasure from sex in ways that you both enjoy.