Weight loss and exercise #2

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yesterday was one of my worst days yet and today is starting out that way with an abundance of treats available and me taking more than I should. I did do cardio this morning, but it won't make up for yesterday or the way today is headed. I really need to buckle down. It scares me that I have had the old attitude that got me fat the last few days, even though I have been getting away with it.

I am ravenously hungry. Iíve been this way for a week. I started a strong antibiotic a week ago. Could this be the cause of the hunger? I mean, I ate two bread bowls from Panera today and a giant cup of gelato. Thatís kind of extreme. I have two more days of the antibiotics. Today my weight was 151.2. I still havenít gotten my period yet either.

yesterday was one of my worst days yet and today is starting out that way with an abundance of treats available and me taking more than I should. I did do cardio this morning, but it won't make up for yesterday or the way today is headed. I really need to buckle down. It scares me that I have had the old attitude that got me fat the last few days, even though I have been getting away with it.

I have been having the same problem. At least my weight is not as bad as I thought. Yesterday I weighed 178. I am trying to figure out what to do about it. I have not been running due to my depression,, and in part, my laziness. The increase in Olanzapine did not help either.

Mixed feelings about weighing in the morning. I expect it to be ugly. Actually, I hope it will be. It really got out of hand today. I need to really get shaken and get serious. I am not really close to the top of my range and can make this just a little blip on the screen if I turn it around. Major, major stress lately.

EDIT - I did go ahead and weigh a few minutes ago. At night, not completely undressed (took off jeans and shoes), I was at the top of my range. I had to go to the bathroom right after that; naked in the morning I will be a pound or two less. Still is enough of a bump up to take seriously.

Rounded up to 157. The caloric content of what's in my gut is substantially higher than usual, so I am not breathing easy just yet. Light breakfast, packed a light lunch, no snacks in my drawer and hopefully no treats out today. I will have to exercise will power if any get put out. Stress sucks, but it isn't going away quickly. I need to deal with it better. I have probably only gained a could of pounds so far and had made room for such.

I took my geodon and went back to sleep to see if that would make a difference. Thatís how Iíve had to do it in the past since the geodon can sometimes make me really tired and hungry. I weighed myself around 7:30 and I was 152.2. Iíve had a lemonade and an eggplant Parmesan TV dinner so far. It adds up to 580 calories total. I plan on having a lean cuisine for dinner which has 260. That leaves me 360 calories left for the day.

I am meant to be sticking to 1300 calories or thereabouts but today I ate 2000.I started with good intentions but depression set in,some emotions came up.I thought I had stopped using food as comfort but today I did resort to comfort eating.

It was a tiring day I has a lot to get done and though I did it,the tiredness meant depression set in.Now I have made plans to go out tomorrow and on friday.But something is telling me I should stay home tomorrow and recharge my batteries and just have a rest day,and I think that s what I should do,but by tomorrow after a night's rest I may find as I usually do that I have a lot more energy and that staying home is boring.But I still think I should stay home and force myself to rest.I hate when I go back and forth like that between two options and can't decide what to do for the best.

I also hate that I force myself to go out and end up at the pub eating food that I shouldn't and that is too high in calories because I can't stand my own company at home and to face the emotions being alone at home brings up.As a child when we moved to another city age 7 and I lost all my childhood companions and my sister stayed in the original home town while I was in the new location with my parents,I dealt with the loss by overeating and using crisps and chocolate to comfort me.But no matter how much I ate I was still empty inside and wanted to eat more and more and did so.Ate 7 I was a normal weight for a child my age by the time I was 10 though I was 140 pounds.So that is crazy and to this day food replaces human companionship for me.Probably because I am depressed I am magnifying how bad I feel about that and my being obese,and I am more in control of my eating now days than I have ever been .So maybe I shouldn't beat myself up and feel bad about today's 2000 calorie intake.

153 - WTF? I mean, I'll take it but no way did I lose 4 pounds just by cutting calories one day. I did have a lot more than usual in my gut yesterday morning from going nuts the day before and between that and the water it soaked up I did expect a drop. That's a half gallon. I did 50 minutes on the arc trainer this morning, after weighing and having breakfast. I actually weighed at 2 AM, when I woke up and was having trouble getting back to sleep. I still have to get my head in a good place; the stressful situation is not going to be resolved quickly.

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