Background...

With the recent return of the second Green Goblin, Harry Osborn, who
got insane, Spidey is combing the city to find traces of his best
friend/worst enemy. Little does he know, that the searching will put
him against one of the biggest threats in his entire life: the
Terrible Two! That's right, in this story, he almost dies... laughing.

J.M. DeMatteis, the creator of the White Rabbit, brings us a mix of
ridiculous characters: two giant frogs, a walrus and a bunny. And
it's up to a certain spider to endure it...

Spidey is patrolling for the Goblin, and he sees a green figure lurking
in the shadows of a rooftop. He quickly dives and grabs it by his arm,
only to discover that he's not Harry, but...

The Fabulous Frog-Man!

While Spidey must be thinking "Why me?! GOD, why ME?", Eugene is happy
with the meeting, and thrilled to find his "adventure partner" now that
he got time to take the costume (who belonged to his father, the original
Leapfrog, a former villain, and which Eugene wore as the Fabulous Frog-
Man several times with surprisingly good results) for a ride. Spider-Man
interrupts his self pity to berate Eugene and giving him the "dangerous
thing, people die" speech. The Fabulous Frog-Man answers that if he wanted
a ranting he'd go home to his father, and jumps away. He bounces from two
chimneys and plunges towards the streets, Spidey rescues him before we
have a frog splatted on the sidewalk. Eugene reluctantly thanks him...
(after all, he is "a living legend, hero of millions!")

Meanwhile, in a junkyard in the Bronx, a huge misterious shadow uses
the secret knock on a refrigerator, and it slides back revealing a
tunnel under it. The figure enters the tunnel, and he's revealed as
The Walrus! And that's not all, because the tunnel leads to the lair
of the White Rabbit, the Queen of Crime and Mistress of Chaos! There
are dark forces at work, and danger lurks over Spider-Man's head! The
White Rabbit tests the resistence of the Walrus to her razor-tipped
carrots and explosive carrots. She's pleased with the result, but the
Walrus didn't like being attacked. She quickly dismisses his anger, by
offering a shocking proposal: to join her and form the Terrible Two!
And as we wonder what implications this may have towards Spidey, the
Walrus has a more reasonable question: "The terrible two what?"

Peter is home, telling MJ about his encounter with the Fabulous Frogman.
When he mentions that Eugene asked him for dinner with his family, she
encourages him to go. He considers the possibility, saying that Eugene's
father, Vinnie, reminds him of Uncle Ben (OK, how many characters since
1963 remind Peter of Uncle Ben? Sheesh...).

In Brooklyn, at home of the Frog Family, the Fabulous Frog-Man is now
in the skin of his alter ego, Eugene Patilio (yeah, you're right. His
real name is even more ridiculous than his costumed one.). He announces
his dad (Vincent Patilio) and his aunt (Marie Patilio) that Spider-Man
is coming for dinner. Vinnie blows at his son for wearing the uniform
again, and Marie blows at her brother because he's behaving like their
own dad and because he finished with the grated cheese and didn't warn
her or bought more.

Later, out there, on the streets of Manhattan, the menacing Bunnymobile
is speeding to a destiny unknown, while the evil White Rabbit explains
her plans to her companion, the Walrus, maybe for a fifth or sixth time.
They are driven by revenge! The Fabulous Frog-Man defeated them, and she
intends to make him pay. The Walrus asks her why aren't Speed Devil and
Yellow Claw with them, since the Fabulous Frog-Man defeated them too. She
tells him they don't need them. The Walrus brilliantly deducts (in one of
his two bright moments) that they hung up on her... after they stopped
laughing, she adds.

Brooklyn, Spider-Man arrives at the Frog Family's home, with some biscuits
and a cake. They have a very interesting conversation, which ends up in
talking about the weather... very funny.

Nearby, the Bunnymobile pulls over at the Kwikkes Burger (let's say both
the Rabbit and the Walrus have a history with Kwikkes Burger, she in Marvel
Team-Up #131 and him in Defenders #131, both their origin issues), which is
near the place where the Fabulous Frog-Man was seen by the last time. The
White Rabbit starts to shoot explosive carrots everywhere, and the Walrus
doesn't understand why. She tells him that's what every super-villain does
to attract their arch-enemies: cause mayhem and havoc! The Walrus suggests
(in his second bright moment) robbing a bank and fleeing to Acapulco instead.
She berates him and orders him to work. He concedes to her point, although
he doesn't understand it, and starts wreaking damage.

Again at the Frog Family's house, Spidey has finished his dinner, and Vinnie
is showing him a photo's album, when a news report shows the rampage of the
Terrible Two, whose leader garantees it'll only stop when the Fabulous Frog-
Man surrenders to her. Spidey vanishes in a second, and Eugene tries to
follow, but Vinnie prohibs him.

Spider-Man arrives at the crime scene, and quickly disarms the White Rabbit.
The Walrus tries to punch him by the back, but the Spider-Sense and lots of
speed foil his plans. Spidey tells him that he's too fast, to which the
Walrus responds:

With this, both Spider-Man and I started to laugh. Since a men is smaller
than a walrus, the Walrus just stated he's slower and less agile than one.
Spidey starts to laugh, which makes the Walrus mad. He punches Spidey, who
was laughing too hard to avoid it. Has he gets up, the Fabulous Frog-Man
arrives: with a splendid control, he dodges every attempt from the Walrus
to hit him, and knocks him down with a powerful hook. Spidey can't believe
he's been humiliated by Eugene on live TV, specially cause Eugene did very
well. Suddenly, the White Rabbit attacks the Fabulous Frog-Man with a razor-
tipped umbrella. He tries to jump away, but her jet-boots make her faster
than him, and she flies with the blade towards his heart! As Spider-Man
prepares to intervene, another Fabulous Frog-Man clumsily arrives on the
scene, completely out of control, but he manages to fall on on the back of
the White Rabbit, rendering her unconscious.

Spidey asks them what's going on, how can there be two Fabulous Frog-Men,
and one of them reveals himself as Vinnie (guess which one was Vinnie and
which one was Eugene...). He included some nifty new equipment in one of
his costumes, and voila, the new Leapfrog, this time a hero. But he says
he's too old for this kind of stuff, and thanks his son for saving him.

The lovely family reunion is disturbed by a furious Walrus, who's up and
charging against them (quote the Walrus: "Kill! Kill! Kill!"). Spidey sees
this as an opportunity to shine, since he's been surpassed by a couple of
frogs on live TV: he taps the Walrus with a finger, and he goes down for
the last time tonight. The story ends with Spidey being built up by a
couple of giant frogs with TV reporters and newspaper photographers
focusing on the three heroes who just saved the city.

In General...

A triply fun story. Not only do we get to make fun of a completely dumb
villain, but we also get to make fun of a completely ridiculous villain
and a completely useless hero... This comic made me laugh very much, and
that's good once in a while.

The general plot of the time wasn't pretty much advanced, but since this
issued followed a 7-part story with the return of Harry Osborn as an evil
Green Goblin, it's comprehensible that DeMatteis wanted to give Peter a
break. And I, for one, am sure glad that he did.

Overall Rating...

Now, let's have Marvel bring back the Walrus, teamed up with the Murdeous
Mimes, the White Rabbit, the Spot and the Kangaroo (II) and let 'em have
a go at Grizzly, the Gibbon and the Fabulous Frog-Man.

(The words "Fabulous Frog-Man" were used 12 times - 13, if you count this
one - during this review. It was done so intentionally, because such a great
hero, a true saviour of the Universe, needs a prefix in his name to certify
his greatness).

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