Steve: Well okay. I'm going to cuss here, so sorry everybody, but fuck this game.

Zack: I'm there with you, my man. Drumming up rules and suggesting seduction for a 9 year old is inexcusable. Don't try to give me some magical ghost bullshit.

Steve: There aren't enough killer condoms in the world to murder this dude's unit. Like really chew that thing off and make sure he can't leave the house without a bloody diaper wrapped around his junk.

Zack: In summary, don't buy this game. Don't even steal it for free. It's garbage, half the book is a fucking play test chatlog worse than our bunker drama, and it is full of gross child sex stuff. it's all in "good humor" and not explicit, but yuck.

Traci Lords goes on a journey of vengeance and squibs while making the same stupid face constantly.

About This Column

Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.