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The gnomes are out for YOU tom

These gnomes gave me a message, I was at home depot the other day, and when I was in the gardening area I ran into some gnomes.

Message from leader of the GNOMES
Tom, you are ruining all of us, we despise you, our days of basking in glory inside autocockers and shockers are coming near to the end. We used to be able to relax all day, knowing we had jobs making guns shoot farther than other guns at the same velocity.
Tom, you better lock your doors, and keep alert.
You better not walk through any dark alleys or any lawns at night

Because WE will be after YOU.
But hold on one second I really have to use the BATHROOM!

Of course, I decided not to hold on one second, so I didn't get to the rest of his message. Everybody, be very careful, I have much concern for all of your safety.

Ok I did some more intel.

I dressed up as a gnome, and infiltrated there headquarters in the woods. They asked why I was so big, I said cause I always drank my milk, phew, it was scary.

Anyways, they had a meeting, and the leader was discussing some of his tactics.

Tactics discussion by GNOME LEADERWe will begin attacking soon. It will be a difficult war, but us gnomes sha'll succeed! We can't get put out because of AGD, because they are revealing what marketing hype really is, and revealing the truth and facts. He is endangering all of our daily lives. We must conquer.

Plan A:
Whe can drown him! We can use this new technology, thanks to our gnome r&d department, I call it the WATER PUMP.

Plan B:
This is for you, NINJA GNOME SQUAD. Our gnome r&d department has done it again with the... "BLOW GUN". We can shoot poison darts, and take out the subject!

quote "Mmmmmmm... the smell of high technology in the morning"

Gnome R&D department member holding one of the prototype "Blow Guns"

I didn't get any pics of the legion, but there were hundreds, thousands of them, it was nuts.