It seems everyone is on a diet. My parents have gone South Beach and since we're visiting them this weekend we're in for a sugarless, breadless, boozeless time. I went out to lunch with a co-worker yesterday, a fellow food-lover. I'm all set to go to my favorite taqueria when he says, "I have to go somewhere I can have a salad." Hmmm...okay. Over our salads he tells me about his new low-carb diet regime....no fruit, no tomatoes, no sweets, no bread, no pasta, etc, etc. He tells me all this while his eyes follow my croutons from my plate to my mouth. Finally he snaps and eats a crouton. "Oh, that was bad. I'm bad." We leave the restaurant and go buy pork rinds for him to snack on in the afternoon. Conversation turns to ice cream and we both start fantasizing over stopping at Jake's for a treat. Instead we go to Smoothie King, were he blows $6 on a no-carb/no-fruit smoothie that tastes like chalk. I go back to the office and eat an apple.

At home that night I confide in Andrew that I've been thinking about ice cream for two days straight and am suddenly craving a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

"Yeah, let's go get one! Ooooo....Butterfinger Blizzard!"

"We can't get a Blizzard! The Peachtree is less than a month away! We're not in good shape! No Blizzards!"

"But...but..."

"Let's go fix dinner....we have pasta with broccoli. We can have watermelon for dessert!"

"F*$# the watermelon...I want a Blizzard!"

"No!"

"Okay, listen - we'll eat the broccoli but no pasta...then we can have a Blizzard!"

"Hmm...I don't know. I think this kinda of deluded thinking is how married people end up fat."

"Yeah...let's get fat! Let's be fat and happy...together!"

How can I argue with that kind of logic? We ate broccoli and went out for Blizzards. I had a Heath Bar one. It okay.