Back To The Future Part 4

October 27, 2010

Now that Back to the Future is 25 years old — and is getting a cinematic re-release, news that made me want to kiss my mom — I thought it might be time to revisit all those rumours of a fourth film in the series. Michael J. Fox, who looks a lot better in his actual 40s than he did in his artificial 40s in BTTF2, would likely not be able to return, which is a shame. But Doc Brown is still out there somewhere. I have never liked the acronym BTTF, because as a block reader, I tend to read acronyms as whole words so it makes me think “beat off.”

There were rumours in the ’90s of a fourth film, this time starring Sarah Michelle Gellar along with Christopher Lloyd. SMG was pretty hot stuff at the time, so it could have worked, but now all I can think of is the word “smegma.” Are you sensing a trend here?

Thanks to YouTuber Jake Mathew for that one.

Anyway, if the powers that be decide to do a fourth film, I have some requests:

Please limit the CGI, and don’t be tempted to make it animated

Don’t remake the first film. It worked because it was so fresh. Find a new approach; with time travel, anything is possible

Keep the Delorean

Don’t cast The Rock. Kind of random, I know.

Good Lord, no 3D

I have an idea for the fourth, actually, and it would involve Michael J. Fox (an person I absolutely worship, I should mention). There’s a fantastic Starlog article out there by a guy named Bruce Gordon (no relation) that explains how the timelines were fouled up by Marty’s actions and points out that the Marty McFly who belonged in the cool-parents-new-truck timeline was now stuck in the drunk-mom-loser-family timeline. Gordon actually postulates that we see this Marty in Back to the Future. So why not tell that Marty’s story? Re-edit and manipulate old footage, then shoot modern Marty, played by Fox, trying to escape from a world that totally did him wrong … and then Doc Brown turns up to set things right. See, I’d pay to see that. And I probably will, after some Hollywood jerkoff steals my idea.