Relationships

Soooo you guys spent NYE separately... What does that mean? Some women believe that "dating" is the same as being in a relationship. However there is said to be a big difference between the two. Some women are fearful to ask the "what are we?" question so we interviewed 50 men and asked them what defines being in a relationship vs. dating.Here were some of their responses.

The age group responses were mostly between the ages of 26-30​What is your definition of "dating?"Anonymous Respondent: Getting to know someone

Anonymous Respondent: Courting someone in the hopes of getting to know someone better or smashing

​Anonymous Respondent: Period of mutual time spending, getting to know one another and spending time with one you're interested romantically

Anonymous Respondent: Consistently going out with another person to better understand them and possibly consider forming a relationship with them.

Anonymous Respondent: Getting to know a person, and deciding to pursue them with a future

What is your definition of being in a relationship?Anonymous Respondent: Unconditional love

Anonymous Respondent: Committing yourself to someone

Anonymous Respondent: Being exclusive to the one that you are "dating"

Anonymous Respondent: Creating a bond of trust and support with a significant other.

Anonymous Respondent: Pursuing a future which includes marriage with no hesitation

Do you think it is necessary to ask a woman to be your girlfriend in order for the relationship to be deemed "official?"

Most of the men I interviewed between the ages of 26-30 stated that it was not necessary to ask a woman to be your girlfriend. They said that it is usually an automatic thing and it is assumed that they are "official." They also said that broadcasting it isn't needed if both parties have already discussed what it is they are doing. It's not necessary to make a huge proposal announcement to make the relationship official. Men between the ages of 20-25 stated that it is necessary to ask a woman to be your girlfriend in order for it to be "official." I noticed that the younger the guy, the more they said that it was necessary. Men closer to the age of 30 do not feel the need to do a proposed "ask."

My theory is that men closer to 30 are thinking about someone they want to potentially marry and asking someone to be their girlfriend is a big deal. They feel extra committed. They don't want to keep being in random relationships. They know what they want, and they take their time to get to know the person they are dating. Men between the ages of 20-25 are still having fun. Asking a woman to be their girlfriend is equivalent to passing a note in class and circling yes or no. They are coming from the high school and college phase with the mindset that asking a woman to be their girlfriend is not that big of a deal. They see it as, we are going to have fun together, get to know one another, and grow mentally.

​How many dates do you need to go on before solidifying that you are in a relationship?

This question obviously varies depending on the person. I wanted to ask this question to get a rough number of dates it takes to move to the next step. It will definitely vary on the connection and the energy between both parties. But in reality how many dates are you going to go on to really know if you want to take it to the next level. Between 4-8 seems reasonable to know if you like the person or not and if you even want to continue to go out with them.

The survey results were very interesting to me. I think it is important to have transparency when you are in a relationship. A lot of women just skate along in relationships without knowing if it will lead to anything just because they don't want to be alone. They'll also just date guys for years without knowing if they are official or not. It is important to have that conversation when you feel like "dating" is becoming more than that. Don't assume. Ask questions. Ask for transparency. Being in a relationship does not have to be a broadcast message, however it does need to be a conversation in order for growth to take place.

I'm curious to know what your definition of dating and being in a relationship is. Leave a comment below, let's discuss!

I thought this article was interesting. Its seems that men have more of a dominant role in determining the status of a relationship. Good read!

Reply

Anonymous

1/3/2016 23:20:45

Yes Amanda that's the issue. Women can actually change that dynamic by voicing what they want in the beginning. Men don't necessarily have to decide if the relationship is official. If the woman wants a relationship she shouldn't be fearful to voice that. Transparency is key.