Boldly going where other bloggers fear to tread! The Troof. The whole, unadulterated, Ugly Troof!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Troof About 5 Hour Energy

Okay, like most people, The Ugly Troof arrives to work as tired as a hooker on Saturday morning... being dazed, he often resorts to coffee or tea to get himself out of his zombie like stupor and become a productive human being. After about 3 or 4 hours of coffee induced alertness, however, The Ugly Troof comes crashing down like Humpty Dumpty off his wall.

The Ugly Troof isn't a huge fan of energy drinks. However, in the last few weeks, the radio ads for 5 Hour energy have been temping him to give it a shot. But being a bit skeptical, The Ugly Troof did his due diligence and spent about 3 seconds searching google for reviews.

apart from a few useful tidbits, these reviews turned out to be more funny than informative... I'm talking Family guy funny. like so funny i couldn't breath funny... or maybe they were just stupid....

Here are some of the best ones:

Example 1Original Poster: "Well I drink them all the time... they are so bad for your heart. Every drink takes like 6 hours off your life"Responder: "I guess you better get your will ready since you smoke and drink 5hrs, because if your calculations are correct you have about 3 days to live! I swear, your parents shouldn't have been allowed to breed."

Example 2

i had some of that 5 hour energy stuff yesterday. I bought it at our campus convenience store. So I went back to my dorm to study biology and test this baby out! Usually I fall asleep within minutes of studying biology or not all the concepts register in my head. This 5 hour shit worked so well I understood every little detail! I was more focused than I'd been in a long ass time! I'm gonna get another little bottle today!

Example 3Poster: I just passed away from using it 17 minutes ago. I guess it didn't work real well for me.

Responder: Amazing, high energy now and life after death in one convenient package!

The Bottle

The Results

And what would the Ugly Troof be without a picture of some hardcore "Ugly" thrown in for good measure...