*Totally Real* Horoscopes for April 20-May 3

Aquarius(January 20-February 18)You’re feeling suffocated. It might be your family, it might be your decor, it might be that turtleneck from freshman year you insist you still fit in. ‘Tis the season for spring cleaning and it might be time to trade the old for the new… unless it’s your family. You’re stuck with them.

Pisces(February 19-March 20)Ever thrifty, you’re trying to eat through your entire refrigerator before school ends. The saying is “Waste not, want not,” but you might want to hit up the grocery store at least one more time. You can live on Saltines and mustard till May… but do you really want to?

Aries(March 21-April 21)With projects, exams and summer break looming, it’s easy to get stressed. But not you, Aries, you’re not stressing at all. No stress when you’re hitting up Coachella, no problem going on an Amazon shopping spree, no anxiety when you decide to take up hot yoga! But when walking into your exam, we got a feeling you might freak out a little.

Taurus(April 22-May 20)There’s nothing wrong with showing your more fiery side every now and then. Sometimes the world needs people to speak their minds. Just remember, there’s a difference between speaking your mind and forcing a pizza restaurant to close three months for repair.

Gemini(May 21-June 21)You’re a natural born multitasker but you’re learning more than ever the importance of quality over quantity. Take some time to focus on one task at a time. Does that mean spending all night finishing an essay or all weekend catching up on every Fast and the Furious movie released? It’s your call.

Cancer(June 22-July 22)The dreaded group project is eating up your life and you’re picking up slack for the rest of your team. There’s not much you can do besides grin and bear it, but don’t be afraid to get a little passive aggressive. Whose name should be the first on that PowerPoint? Yours, baby!

Leo(July 23-August 22)It’s time to put the pedal to the metal and get on top of your grades before finals roll around. You’re going to drink a lot of coffee and listen to the Mulan soundtrack an embarrassing amount of times but you’ve got it in you, Leo, don’t worry!

Virgo(August 23- September 22)You’re going through a difficult time. Don’t be afraid to turn to your friends for advice, feedback and help in this situation…but not money. That’s what rich distant relatives are for.

Libra(September 23-October 22)Tied between treating yourself and working hard, don’t forget balance is key. That being said, you take more falls than a skydiver so maybe it’s time to rethink your metaphorical sayings.

Scorpio(October 23-November 21)As summer begins, your friends’ allergies are slowly dissipating. You, on the other hand, are coughing and sneezing like no other. At this point, you have two options: go to Health Services or stay up all night self-diagnosing yourself on WebMD. We say the latter because after all — you’re educated enough to make a guess, right?

Sagittarius(November 22-December 21)A distant prophecy says you will pet a dog today and become extremely happy. We recommend you find a pup ASAP and see if the message is true.

Capricorn(December 22-January 19)Working alongside others, you find yourself lost in everyone else’s agendas. Assert your opinion every now and then. Someone will find it worthy, even if it’s shouting something as simple as, “Dunkin’ Donuts coffee is totally underappreciated!” We totes agree.