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The fake CV

The people who ridicule me for the things I cannot do do not of the things I can do.

For a moment I forgot that arguing with a fool only makes two, and yes I regret lashing at these people who are so confident of themselves and so very wrong. People, people, people, if your CV reflects what you really are, then it must be as thick as a 19th-century novel.

Let me talk about my CV for a bit; though I’m not gonna upload it. I’ve passed by B.Sc. in Computing with a 52%. I should say the marks I’ve earned does not reflect my true abilities. I know that I’ve stolen bits from people, and also the fact that I’ve underperformed in most of my modules; all actually. This achievement on my CV will remain the same, it doesn’t change and well, it does not mind not mentioning the things I’ve learned from activities like interacting with people, giving someone lessons, online learning that remained incomplete, things that came to my dreams or any other invisible daily regular and irregular activities. My CV is totally a wrong representation of me.

My CV would have reflected better if it came with an asterisk that says, “Brilliant but lazy”. I can say that about way too many people. The most intelligent people I know either have double/triple masters or have no degree at all. The people who still rely on CV are surely misled. How can a perfectly legal CV be an evidence of the skills that are presented to it and be sure it’s not fake? Where do I put the information and what I’ve learned from watching YouTube, reading books, magazines, deep conversations with people, the overthinking, the dreaming, the sleeping, the wandering, the insomniac thoughts, the thought under the moonlight, the shower thoughts, some philosophers advice, the flashback memory, the deciphering a puzzle after years, the learning from mistakes, the learning from heartbreak, from failure, from pain, and from Reddit, Quora or a comment on social media?

Trust me, if you really wanna know me, you will have to see me, feel me, talk to me and observe. Test results can vary according to mood, and CV’s can literally be fake. We learn more from the universe by experience and observation which is not necessarily evident on a piece of paper, or a PDF file, or a web link. I have no intentions of ever looking into someone’s CV. There will be people you will be hiring just because they want money. You cannot truly know people’s commitment, loyalty, honesty, when they’ll kick you in the crotch and think of all the stuff devils would do. Trying to build a CV is trying to limit innovation. Trying to build a CV is trying to impress someone. If only it was a fair way of comparison, one could trust a CV. The new era is a generation where it is all skill-based. Those who hire people on a CV basis are likely to fall for falsification. The best candidate on paper is certainly not the best candidate for the post unless it is clearly evident from their overqualified CV. As for me, I know I’m so much better than my CV and the skills I’ve been endorsed for on LinkedIn is totally my friends overestimating me, sending me their love or just a way of trading endorsement.

Come on people, why submit a CV when you feel it can let you down. You know for certain don’t you that someone else will have a much more embellished CV because of their diligent efforts to try to suit them for the job. Don’t fall for jobs via a CV, the 20th-century invention. Showcase your skills. Show your true ability. Trust yourself. Let the people know you for who you are.