You can't have your cake and lay in it.A bird in the hand gathers no moss.

And my own, humble, contributions:

There is never a right way to overcook pasta.You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget the pirates with whom you ate pasta.A meatball in the hand is worth two on the plate.A closed mouth catches no noodly appendages.A friend in need is a friend who has not been touched.A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up pasta sauce.Better the mushroom you know than the fungus you don't know.Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not cooked in the same pot.

I will post this as a quote from my other post about Atkins, the evil one.

Dr. Atkins and his followers are the nemesis of FSM, may sauce be upon Him. Much like Satan is to the Christians. Afterall, what is a religion without a nemesis?

I denounce thee, Dr. Atkins, and all of thy faithful followers. For thy intentions are pure evil, and thou seek to seperate me from my God, FSM, may sauce be upon Him. Yea, the Church of Low Carbohydrates is dark in every way, and they seek to bring us into its darkness, eating only meat, cheese, eggs, and fats. Should one of us fall into this darkness, thou will find only unsatisfactory sustenance, for there is no variety. Two weeks in that sinful lifestyle will send thou running from the hell they hath put upon you. For thy unfulfillment in thy stomach shall turn thee toward the light.

Give a starving man spaghetti, and he will exhibit great mirth for a day.
Teach a starving man to cook spaghetti, and he will exhibit great girth and drink vast quanities of wine for the rest of his life.

bonsaikc wrote:His Noodliness helps those who help themselves to seconds!

A Proverb of Encouragement
for those who lack fingers
and forks
â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦..
Better that he, who hath no fork,
Eat with his fingers;
Better that he, who hath no fingers,
Eat with a fork.

Much better that he, who hath neither/nor,
Just pasta and sauce, and one meat-sa-ball,
Would lap what he could--straight off the floor,
And then roll that ball down the hall.

Have no beer?? Underdog is here!!!!
(oldest cartoon i remember watching)

If at first you dont suceed...Drink excessively.

Winners never quit...because they cheat

Never eat yellow snow.

A bush in hand is worth about $25.00

Those who can, do: those who can't, teach: those who can't teach, are president.

"The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head."

"Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow." - Kay, Men in Black

It is easier for a meatball to pass through the eye of a tornado than for a confused man to enter the Kingdom of Pasta.

If you can't say anything nice, fill up your mouth with pasta. Yum!

And once the garlic has been in the sauce, yea verily, thou must brush your tongue as well as your teeth, before thou layest with your wench.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster helps those who help themselves to second helpings.

For the Flying Spaghetti Monster hath said, always leave the campground nicer than you found it.

As a child I slurped noodles as a child, dribbled sauce as a child, and threw meatballs as a child. Now I see through the sauce darkly, and speak with the tongues of pirates, and all is sound and blurry if I have not love.