Bullets, R.E.M. and Unemployment

Most Rap and Rock stars who get busted with weaponry at
airports usually have similar excuses, along the lines of, “Damn, I was
rushing and thought I grabbed my wallet but accidentally picked up my
back-up Uzi!” During an ordeal in China recently, the singer for
Vancouver Indie Rock band Behind Sapphire had a like-minded excuse,
though with a decidedly “Vancouver Indie Rock band” twist. After a
flight from Canada to Shanghai, the musician was detained and placed in
jail for six days for what he claims to have “accidentally” hidden in
his luggage. A glock? Hand grenade? Snacks from Panda Express? Nope —
the vocalist was reportedly jailed because his suitcase contained
collectible antique bullets from World War I.

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has certainly earned the right to do anything it
wants after maintaining its integrity while navigating over 30
successful years in the music biz. The band has always been a class act —
so why the awkward timing of their break-up announcement? Like an older
sister standing up at baby sis’ wedding to announce she’s pregnant with
triplets, R.E.M. chose the week most of the music press was churning
out hyperbolic musings on the 20th anniversary of Nirvana’s Nevermind
to announce their break-up, forcing the blogosphere to shift to
hyperbolic musings on R.E.M.’s awesomeness. Given that pretty much any
band capable of cobbling together a reunion is doing so nowadays, fans
shouldn’t be too bummed — don’t be surprised when there’s a reunion tour
announcement, maybe on, say, April 5, 2014, the 20th anniversary of
Kurt Cobain’s suicide?

[COLD]

Don’t Take This Job and Shove It

The latest horrible “protest” song, a Country novelty
ditty called “I Need A Job” by duo Burns & Poe, has been earning
press cheers and jeers this week. The twosome is careful to not
explicitly take political sides — in the song, when they blame “the
government” for unemployment, maybe they’re referring to George W.
Bush’s expensive, pointless wars or all those cock-blocking Republicans
who are purposefully trying to tank the economy so they can take over,
completely decimate the middle-class and make the rich richer? Still,
the song is clearly pandering to (and taking advantage of) the
misguided, unemployed Tea Party marketplace (which doesn’t seem
particularly lucrative, but OK). We’re still waiting for confirmation
that when Obama was told of the song, he muttered something like, “I’ve
gotta job for them,” then gestured towards his crotch.