Its reasoning: "The second quarterback drafted last April, Mark Sanchez, makes my list, but the first, overall top pick Matt Stafford, doesn't -- not this year, in the NFC North, behind that offensive line in Detroit."

Sorry, SI, but both Stafford and Culpepper at least rate higher than McCown or Russell.

2. Bye-bye, Stallworth
I applaud NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's ruling to suspend Cleveland wide receiver Donte' Stallworth for the entire 2009 season without pay after he pleaded guilty to killing a pedestrian while driving drunk. He can't participate in any team activities until his reinstatement following the Super Bowl.

"The NFL and NFL players must live with the stain that you have placed on their reputations," the commish wrote in a letter to Stallworth.

The real crime is that Stallworth got just a 30-day jail sentence for taking another life. If he so much as jaywalks and gets caught before he is eligible for reinstatement, the NFL should suspend him for life.

The league should adopt a simple rule: If you take a human life in a criminal act, you lose the right to ever put on an NFL uniform again. NFL players should be smart enough to call a cab or hire a limousine if they plan to drink. It's not like they can't afford it.

3. All blogged down
The blogosphere is a protected place where a lot of idiots like to pretend to be real journalists.

Here's an example: In the battle for the starting quarterback job in Cleveland between Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn, a light-hearted comment from Anderson sparked a Web-fueled furor.

It seems the radio transmitter in Anderson's helmet went silent during a scrimmage Sunday, so he relied on hand signals to relay plays. He then joked afterward that Quinn told the defense what all the signals meant, sending the bloggers into a feeding frenzy.

The problem is the bloggers weren't actually there to hear Anderson's tone of voice or get the joke.

"Obviously, I have to be careful what I say," Anderson said after the Internet rumors spread.

Here's the point: The bloggers who masquerade as reporters need to get a clue. Leave the real reporting to the professionals.

It went a little better than your hosting gig on "Saturday Night Live," but only because you had a lot fewer lines of dialogue. You just seemed stiff, but perhaps that was because of your rebuilt knee. (Funny, it didn't affect your golf swing much.)

Anyhow, better not quit your day job. And be sure to collect that $1,000-a-hole wager from Drama.