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Deal or No Deal?

You meet them through a mutual friend and you two hit it off great! You agree to have dinner and you spend the evening talking about your future aspirations and your likes and dislikes. You think this could be the one! You’ve been waiting to find someone to share your time with and then they hit you with the bombshell…they have a child. At first you play it off and end the date on a high note, but on the way home you really start to wonder…”can I really date someone with a child?” According to the Census Bureau there were 9.9 million single mothers living with children younger than 18 in 2014, up from 3.4 million in 1970. So what do you do? Do you embrace the potential blessing of being in a child’s life or do you run from the dreaded “baby mama/father drama?” I wanted to do something different in this post so below you will read some real quotes from Lazy Loverz readers about the pros and cons of dating someone with a child:

PROS“Dating someone with a child is interesting because you get to see your partner in another light. My fiancé’ eats, sleep and breathes his daughter and it makes me love him even more. I was always the type to say I WOULD NEVER DATE ANYONE WITH A CHILD, but the pros outweigh the cons.”

“Children are blessings, and if you get the chance for someone to allow you to be in that blessings (the child’s) life then you’re really the one winning”

“I always said I would never date a guy with kids until I actually got with one. Honestly the best relationship I been in, taught me a lot about myself because I admit I was selfish & dating somebody with kids you learn the first priority he has is his child. Especially if we plan to be together for a long time I am able to see him as a father & how responsible he is.”

“Dating someone with a child is not so bad depending on the relationship they have with the child’s mother.”

“It’s okay to date someone with children, as long as you feel secure that he/she has a handle on the situation. Not that the situation is perfect, but if he/she can’t articulate to you what situation you’re getting yourself into then how can they expect you to feel secure?”

CONS“I’m bias when it comes to this because I’ve always dated people with children before I had my son. After having my son I cannot date a man with a child for many reasons: 1. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s child but my own. 2. They cost a lot, so now everything is double because what you do for one you have to do for the other. 3. Who knows if the two parents will make? I don’t want to introduce my son to another man or a child and they create a bond and he’s ripped away from them in the event of a break up. 4. I’m still with the father”

“Personally I prefer not to date anyone with a child for a few reasons 1) I don’t have any children of my own and I refuse to play step mom to someone’s child 2) I would love to start a family of my own with my husband and I would hate to sell myself short by settling with someone who has a child 3) BABY MAMA DRAMA! Although every female does not fit into this category, there are a handful that act crazy when their child’s father becomes involved with another female. When you date someone with a child you don’t have a choice but to deal with the baby mother especially if you are around the child a lot. All in all I have nothing against those who choose to date people with a child, I just would prefer not to.”

“I hate that no matter what I’ll never be their number one priority, their child will come first. That sounds super selfish, but I mean that. When I randomly say I want to take a road trip, I want to go. I don’t want it to be your weekend with your son/daughter.”

“I have personally been in a relationship with someone with a child and in the beginning it was amazing. I loved the fact that I got a glimpse of the type of father he would be to my child and then it took a turn for the worst. I found out from his child’s mother that they were still having sex and it hurt me to the core. Needless to say I will not put myself in that predicament anymore.”

“I would not date anyone with a child because I want my first child to be my husband’s first child too. I want us to experience raising a child for the first time together.”

So what do you think? Could you date someone with a child? Does the fear of baby mama/father turn your completely off or do the pros of a beautiful blessing in the form of a child outweigh the cons? Let me know in the comment section below!

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One thought on “Deal or No Deal?”

Love that you included real quotes! I feel as though if the pros outweigh the cons then why not. Just like we would weigh pros and cons with other situations why is this one any different. Don’t get me wrong I understand everyone doesn’t see everything the same. Some people find it a blessing to be included in someone else’s child’s life and it helps you to become a better person or at least look at things differently.