Networking: 9 tips to help you work the room like a pro (it'll be easier than a trip to the dentist - promise)

Networking is something many of us fear, but it's invaluable for making
contacts and creating opportunities in the world of work. Here, Josephine
Fairley offers her top tips on how to make those crucial
contacts

If the thought of networking strikes fear in your heart, you're not alone: once upon a time, I looked forward to it like an afternoon at the dentist. But I've come to realise that networking truly works. No, it may not lead directly to your next job, or land you the lucrative contract of your dreams. But in terms of support and inspiration, I think networking is downright invaluable.

We have a lot to learn from our American counterparts, who may not exactly have the ability to connect branded into their DNA, but by early adulthood, most seem to have it down to a fine art: the offering of a firm handshake, the proffering of a business card, an open smile. Whereas lots of Brits, I've observed first-hand, sometimes still act like wallflowers, nursing a warm glass of wine and wondering how soon they can escape homewards to catch up on missed episodes of Orange Is The New Black.

There's a lot of 'the better the devil you know', in business. And so widening your network exposes you to people who - when next looking for an employee, or a consultant, or to do business - are a lot more likely to sift mentally through their Rolodex of face-to-face contacts than turn blindly to Google.

If people don't know who you are, you can't start building those relationships.

The very best piece of advice I was given - which transformed my attitude to networking - was not to go into a roomful of strangers thinking: 'What can I get out of this?' But instead, to think: 'What can I offer?' It changes your mindset from a sort of desperation to a spirit of generosity. (And in business, that's when the magic happens, I always believe).

Become the person others go to when they need something. That might mean suggesting someone for a job when you can; or putting them in touch with an acquaintance. Basically, it feels good to give, give, give, rather than be the 'needy networker'.

That aside, there are some definite tips for successful networking. Here's what I've learned.

1) Take your business cards

This is so basic. This is the 'Janet & John book' of networking: as fundamental as it gets. And yet, how often do I meet people at events who fumble in their dog-eared purse and eventually mumble, 'Oh, I don't seem to have one with me.' I was that person, at the beginning. Now, I not only carry a business card wallet, but cram them in my purse and the pockets of my handbag, so there's no way I'll be empty-handed, even if I give them out like confetti. Offering a business card is a trade: you should get one in return. Don't be the sad soul who left hers in her desk drawer for the umpteenth time. (They really don't have to be expensive. Vistaprint and Moo both offer great options for designing cards inexpensively online, if you work for yourself.)

2) Be the one with the memorably great handshake

Do people judge, instantly, from a handshake? Oh yes, every time. Firm. Dry. And with a steady gaze right in the eye. Bingo. I literally remember people by their handshake years later - and I'm not alone.

3) Have your 'elevator' pitch ready

Have a short, concise version you can share about what you do and where you work, who your clients are (if you have any) and what your goals are. If possible, give a sense not only of what you do but who you are. This is the story you'd like to write for your life. Practice it, if necessary. No smart networker loves a rambler. Give yourself 90 seconds max.

4) Listen

Use "what's your story" as an ice-breaker - and give other people time to share theirs. (Everyone has one.) All the time, be asking yourself: 'What can I offer this person?' Perhaps you can put them in touch with someone who'd be useful - appreciate that might not always be you.

5) Have a diverse network, not a large one

If you only network inside your industry or social group, it's easy to become insular.Go to work 'mixers' and social events, yes, but also attend events for your chosen professional body, as well as designated networking events organised by people who specialise in putting people together.

6) Next day, log your contacts

Maybe don't add them on Facebook

I'd estimate that at least half the people who exchange business cards never look at them again. That's probably a vast underestimate. Occasionally they'll feng shui their handbags - by which time they can't remember who that person was, or why they wanted that contact for in the first place. Pre-schedule 30 minutes in your diary the morning after a networking event to follow up on contacts and add people to your address book, recording as much detail as possible. I learned from my husband (American, networks like a pro) to write on the back of that card what that person does, or what I promised to do for them. Add them to your LinkedIn network. (But probably not Facebook. At least not yet, unless you work in one of the uber-creative industries such as PR.)

7) Reach out

I can almost guarantee you're going to think this is taking things too far. But I still like the observation by networking 'guru'Keith Ferrazzithat "every free moment is a chance to e-mail or call someone." He makes hundreds of calls a day. He sends e-mails constantly. He remembers special birthdays.

That makes me want to have a bit of a lie-down, actually - but I do nevertheless try to reach out to contacts, sending a thank-you note (I have a 'Gratitude' list on Wunderlist, for this). I often send an newspaper or magazine clipping if I think it would be interesting/useful to someone - and I'm always happy to tweet the business news of contacts, if it's something I believe in.

8) Don't 'only connect'

Build solid relationships. Don't expect overnight miracles from networking. It takes time for people to develop confidence in you and you need to invest in those relationships. Try connecting with them on a level other than business - as humans, we always bond through shared interests, no matter what they are. You don't need to be BFFs - but you should seem three-dimensional. Perhaps there are other events you could attend together?

9) And above all, remember that networking isn't a competition

It's not like the person who dies with the biggest collection of business cards wins. Networking should be about building real relationships, actively maintaining them - and above all, giving as much as you take.

Then, you never know, you may even find you get to like, rather than dread it.