How to Love

Our capacity to be happy depends, more than almost anything else, on the quality of our relationships. Yet this is an area where we too often get stuck, unable to make ourselves understood or find the sort of love we need. This is largely due to a myth that loving another human should be something we all naturally know how to do. Far from it; we believe that love is a skill, not just an emotion - and that it’s a skill we all have to learn and carefully rehearse. We offer a range of tools that teach us how to love, communicate and flourish in relationships.

How to Find Love

One of the largest obstacles to finding love is a lack of understanding of who or what we should really be looking for. Partners used to be found for us by parents and society, but now we are expected to follow our feelings - to locate people by ourselves, according to intuition. This should be an improvement, but all too often our emotions pull us towards hugely problematic characters and dynamics, according to a logic we seldom fully understand.

How to Get Married

We know that getting married needs a huge amount of preparation, but we overwhelmingly interpret the task in practical terms. We worry a lot about the flowers and devote extraordinary attention to the seating plan. And yet when people look back on a failed union and wonder where the mistakes might have arisen, they rarely come to the conclusion that the fault really lay in an ill-judged floral display or an unsuccessful after-party. The main preparation we need ahead of marriage is not practical, but psychological. We need to understand ourselves, our partners, where difficulties may arise and how love might work. We need properly to fathom what we are headed into and what the correct mindset for the journey might be.

How to Have a Better Sex Life

We live under a cheerful delusion that sex might nowadays be easy - because we have been 'liberated' from the hang-ups and taboos of the olden days. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Despite a veneer of openness, sex remains an extraordinarily complicated business, hard to discuss and surrounded by shame and unspoken desires. Our tools for a better sex life revolve around the idea that far from thinking about sex too much, we haven't begun to think enough about it.