Adult, Child, Couple, and Family Therapy in Seattle

Tag Archives: roles

Let me say first off: I love my children. Love with a capital L. But I did not enjoy them as babies. Sure, they’ were cute, but so are bunnies. And they smelled good, but so does a pine tree. Bunnies, pine trees, babies, nice, but eh, I could take ’em or ‘leave ’em. I loved my daughters, but my brain registered very little reward in caring for them. Breastfeeding was fine because I never had to think about what they were going to eat that day. It was a convenience about as thrilling as a trip to 7-11. Nursing, bathing, diapering all felt like a slalom course I just had to get through. For me.

Now, other parents really relish their child’s infancy. They document all their favorite moments, of which their are a myriad. The pleasure centers of their brains rapid-fire whenever they look at their babies. Time feels to slow down whenever they are with them.

Which is how I feel about my daughters now. I love talking to them, hearing about what they did at school, helping them navigate the social world, running with them full-bore down a soccer field. I love parenting them at this stage. Love it. And I love them, just as I did when they were babies. But now I love my parenting job, too.

So, to new parents out there: I know this goes against the common discourse, but it’s ok not to love parenting a newborn. It doesn’t mean you’re a defective parent. Give it time. You and your baby may both need some time to grow.

Shannon Armitage, LMFT

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in Seattle who treats depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns, as well as offering marriage counseling, parent coaching, and family therapy. My psychotherapy office offers sessions on a sliding scale basis, with weekend and evening appointments available. I am located in the Columbia City neighborhood of Seattle, Washington, near Beacon Hill, Rainier Valley, Seward Park, Mount Baker, Capitol Hill, and the Central District, walking distance from the #7, #9, and #50 bus. Contact me and the Center for Life Transitions, LLC at lifetransitions@gmail.com.