Going for Broke(n Arms)

Speaking of the Balor Club, boy howdy was I happy to see Miz interrupt his promo, because WWE babyfaces seem to really enjoy respecting each other so much that they seem to forget about things like “protocol”, “continuity” and “storytelling logic”. I assume this is because they exist largely unencumbered by the harsh reality of existence that bad guys of The Miz’s ilk represent. We don’t like The Miz because assholes like him are usually the ones with attractive wives, nice cars and gold (in this case around his waist.) He turns the entire dynamic from a story about a dream (re, re, re)match between to competitors as the destination into a journey of two men through the obstacles of Miz’s obstinance to that dream match. Also, Finn is mostly for showing, not for going (on and on about how much he respects Seth) on the mic.

The return of Jeff Hardy adds another layer to this feud — obviously, that’s the whole fucking point they added him, I know, I’m getting to the larger point, I swear — though only time will tell if this is like adding a second coat of paint to the wall or huffing paint and then attempting to vomit up the colors of the paint on the wall. And no, that’s not a reference to Jeff’s former drug issues. It’s just literally the biggest shit show I could think of given the context.

Someone needs to do something about how much time the commentators spend talking about Mandy Rose’s attractiveness. First of all, there isn’t a bad looking person on the roster — male or female — since Ellsworth left SDL, so acting as though Mandy is somehow so extraordinarily good looking that its warrants mention in the context of 40 of the best looking, most in-shape people you’re likely to meet just feels weird on its face. But to go on Lawler-esque sidebars about Mandy Rose’s attractiveness in the Year of Our Lord 2018 seems like a bit much, especially when there’s a sexual predator in the White House (again).