RING ACCIDENTALLY STOLEN REFUSES TO COME OFF

Ann LandersCHICAGO TRIBUNE

Dear Ann Landers: Several months ago I accidentally stole a ring from a jewelry store. I was trying it on to see how it would look on my hand, and to my horror, it got stuck.

When the salesman came over and asked if he could help me with anything, I got panicky, hid my hand behind my purse and said no. He then went to help someone else, and I left the store with the ring on my finger.

As I write this letter, I`m still wearing the ring. I cannot get the darned thing off. It was not expensive. The price was $50.

I am old and live alone. I have not gone out much since my husband died five years ago, but since I stole this ring I have not set foot past my front door. I get my groceries delivered, and the young lady who lives upstairs does errands for me. I am scared out of my wits when my doorbell rings for fear it is the police. A few weeks ago I mailed $55 to the jeweler but I was too afraid to write a note.

This ring incident has made me a prisoner in my own home and I don`t know what to do about it. Can you help?

Binghamton, N.Y.

Dear Bing: Ask your neighbor to go with you to the jewelry store and tell them you are the person who sent the $55. Show them the ring and ask them to get it off. (They may have to cut it.) The worst that can happen is that you will be charged for cutting the ring off, but it would be well worth it to be free again. Let me know how it turns out.

Dear Ann Landers: You have heard of households where the man is king and others where the woman wears the pants. Well, how about a family headed by a 15-year-old girl?

Yes, Caroline (not her real name) is an only child (adopted). I am tired of getting the same response whenever my husband and I invite her parents to dinner or ask them to go out with us. It`s always, ''We will have to check with Caroline.''

If Caroline has plans that require a driver or if she wants to have a spaghetti supper for her friends, her parents are tied up for the night. It is Caroline who decides where and when the family goes on vacation.

Caroline recently decided that she doesn`t approve of alcoholic beverages of any kind, so her parents no longer serve alcohol in their home.

The question I have for you, Ann, is what effect will this kind of deference have on the child`s life? If you say she will be all right, I will hold my tongue, but at the moment, I feel like telling her parents they are raising a spoiled brat who will want to run everything.

Irked in Eureka, Calif

Dear Irked: I suspect that you are annoyed because these parents are putting their daughter`s wishes ahead of their social life. They have a perfect right to do so, and I see nothing to criticize.

Dear Ann Landers: I was taught in high school that when the husband dies, all mail addressed to the wife should bear her first name. Therefore, I`ve been sending letters to Mrs. Janet Jones. She became upset and requested that in the future I address her mail to Mrs. Edward Jones.

I believe that since Edward is no longer alive, this is wrong. True?

Tulsa Q

Dear Tulsa Q.: A widow should be addressed as she always was. The deceased husband`s name remains part of her designation. But a divorced woman is Mrs. Martha Jones.

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For a copy of Ann Landers` most frequently requested poems and essays, send a self-addressed, business envelope and a check or money order for $4.85 to: Gems, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, Ill. 60611-0562.