This is a blog of news and essays aimed toward gay Mormons who wish to hold the Priesthood of God honorably (Men) or to remain active members of the LDS Church (Men or Women), their family and friends, or anyone who has questions about what it is to be a faithful Mormon, or a Mormon questioning... and gay.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Into the Fire

I am thrilled. Thrilled, I tell you. What an opportunity to gather information, promote a worthy cause, and to bring an issue that is near and nearer to our hearts further out of the closet and into lives. I'm not trying to get all Pollyanna on you. I genuinely think that great good can come out of SLC and General Conference for all of us - not just those of a red right vantage.

Because we are not afraid of opposing opinions, lets hear what others have to say...

Washington – The Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the nation’s largest civil rights organization dedicated to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality, today called on Boyd K. Packer, the president of the Mormon Church’s Quorum of Twelve Apostles, to correct statements he made yesterday calling same-sex attraction “impure and unnatural,” claiming that it can be corrected and characterizing same-sex marriage as immoral. Packer’s inaccurate and dangerous rhetoric comes on the heels of the suicides of at least four teenagers over the past month, all victims of anti-gay bullying or harassment. An additional seven teens committed suicide in the past year in one Minnesota school district alone; three of the teens’ suicides were connected to anti-gay bullying. Packer, who is 86 and one of the church’s most senior leaders, made his statements to a crowd of 20,000 – and millions more watching via satellite transmission -- during the church’s 180th Semi-annual General Conference in Salt Lake City.

“Words have consequences, particularly when they come from a faith leader. This is exactly the kind of statement that can lead some kids to bully and others to commit suicide,” said Joe Solmonese, president of HRC. “When a faith leader tells gay people that they are a mistake because God would never have made them that way and they don’t deserve love, it sends a very powerful message that violence and/or discrimination against LGBT people is acceptable. It also emotionally devastates those who are LGBT or may be struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identify. His words were not only inaccurate, they were also dangerous.”

As a church leader immersed in these issues, Packer should know better. The American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association have both concluded that same-sex attraction is normal and that “reparative” therapy – like the kind being advocated by the Mormon Church -- is unhealthy and harmful. This is not the first instance in which the church has spewed lies related to same-sex orientation. Last summer, another senior member of the church’s hierarchy, promised that same-sex attraction could be cured. “If you are faithful, on resurrection morning – and maybe even before then – you will rise with normal attractions for the opposite sex,” Mormon Church leader Bruce Haffen told a conference.

Packer also took the opportunity to dismiss efforts toward marriage equality as ones that “legalize immorality.” Ominously during this speech, the apostle declared that the church hierarchy’s opposition to marriage equality “…will not change.” As HRC has chronicled on its website www.NOMExposed.org, the Mormon Church is a key funder of the so-called National Organization for Marriage (NOM), a powerful fringe group that regularly encourages anti-gay attitudes and behaviors. The church was also a prime funder of efforts to pass Prop. 8 in California. NOM board member and famous Mormon writer, Orson Scott Card, has said, “Any government that attempts to change it [marriage] is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage…”

"Elder Packer's remarks in General Conference were not only ill-advised and contrary to fact, but were mean-spirited and will be perceived by many as bullying,” said David Melson, Executive Director of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons. “We see no potential for good coming from his words and much possible damage, to the church, to individuals, and to families. The LDS Church should be a source of love, compassion, and conciliation, and not of fear and unfeeling petty hatred."

My concern is that people will read the many commentary's which will be presented this week, combine them with the Prop 8 political fiasco and decide that the LDS church, as either a spiritual or a political/temporal entente is uncaring and unfeeling - which has not been my experience. My larger fear is that SGAttracted young men and women will glean from all commentary and original comments made by EBKPacker that anyone considers them to be less than, or damaged.

As a quick Side bar, my father has experienced what I fear is becoming a standard for men. He was once outspoken, grandiose and aggressive in his political views and moral stances - even with his friends and family. It was, honestly, rather off-putting. He then seemed to develop a kind of political correctness that made his stances less offencive. As I understand it, his views didn't change, but his approach became kinder. I liked him better. I didn't cringe when he spoke to a group of people. Now he is older and wiser - but he has gone back to rude and confrontational. Where I may have listened politely to what he had to say when he was being "nice dad", I now have little tolerance for his assaults. I talk to him less and less.

Put into context, there is nothing that was said during this conference that has not been said before. I may or may not be ecstatic at the manner in which this was presented - especially in conjunction with the horrors that have been perpetrated toward young SGA men this last week, but the doctrine has been consistent. Take away the abrasive manner in which this talk was given (I cant say as Abinadi to Noah was any more silver tongued) and the principals are correct. Homosexual behaviors, BEHAVIORS, PEOPLE!, are contrary to the Lords plan. (As in, I may want to smack my mother-in-law, but I am only in trouble if I actually do it.)

However, and I cant believe I still have to make this stipulation, Homosexuals are not contrary to the Lords plan. Homosexuals are not less-than. Gays are not inferior to straights. Being heterosexual does not give you a leg up, or a head start to heaven. This is not a contest, people!

My Heavenly Father is the same as your Father. He made me with love and kindness and purpose - just like he did you.

Here's the rub (there is always a rub) I am GAY! No butts about it. I am also a believing true blue dyed in the wool Latter day Saint. Let me go out on the same limb I named myself Gay with (a term not PC anymore) and say I am a Mormon. I wear the clothing. I went to BYU. I take the sacrament and teach Sunday school. Still gay, gay gay. Yet I understood what BKPacker was saying. I knew what he was going to say before he said it. He has always been a bit in-your-face, and where he stands on issues is not going to change because he is now sitting.

Look at the doctrine.

No, it wasn't as soft or as fuzzy as if the talk had been interpreted by Elder...well, Elder Soft and Fuzzy. (You know who you are!) It may have been a little over the top for me as a SGAttracted individual, but I will get over it and not use it as an excuse to take a detour.

6 comments:

But good LDS people aren't just judged on their actions. The higher law requires that our thoughts be pure as well. Matthew 5:27,28. So it isn't just your behaviors you're being judged by. It's your thoughts and desires too. To my knowledge, you nor anyone else have purged your homosexual thoughts. Otherwise you wouldn't be gay anymore by definition. So either you're not living the higher law but it's possible (according to Elder Packer), or it's impossible for gays to live the higher law.

“If you are faithful, on resurrection morning – and maybe even before then – you will rise with normal attractions for the opposite sex,” Mormon Church leader Bruce Haffen told a conference." I think it was EVERGREEN just last week or so. I love this quote. We are giving up a part of ourselves in sacrifice to the Lord. I live by this!

Reading some of the news reports I see that People are saying that BKP has reverted back to his old, unpc style. That seems to support what you have mentioned. I myself think that the 12 are inspired, but the spirit is not going to change their personalities. BKP is a kind old grouch and allwas has been. Honey and vineger?

As a 53 yr old married,female,member I would like you to know I am so proud of you. We all came here to have a challenge or two & the opportunity to be more like Him, if we choose it. It's our choice. I am a better person because of my challenge or two. Thanks for not giving up your part of the atonement to make life easier. He did his part and it wasn't easy either. I applaud you for seeing all that is wonderful about your life even though it isn't perfect. No one's is. If it comes down just to our thoughts, as said above, we'll do just fine...and be in good company

A Reasonable Facsimile

This is not a gay blog!

OK, yes it is. But it is also a Mormon blog and a blog for priesthood men who honor their priesthood and wish to keep the LDS church an active part of their lives. I am all three... four. Five?

I am an active MarMoHo, a married Mormon homosexual. I have a temple recommend that I received honestly. I supportthe LDS church and the words of a living prophet. I support people who are gay. It can be done.

Apology for the ad below

Please forgive me if there is an ad in the space below is inappropriate. I am trying to figure out how to block the ads I don't wish to display. They pay for the ice in my Diet Coke

Cal Thompson

Followers

Gay Mormon men who cherish the priesthood and would like to honor their commitments!

Please be aware of sites on the blog-o-sphere that claim to be sympathetic to the teachings of the prophets. Some very well may be. Others are simple journal entries annotating the experiences of an individual with various degrees of success and or promiscuity. Not all can be as wonderful as mine. I hate to sound like the church lady, but chose your blogs and your friends wisely.

And eat your vegetables.

And Fruits!

About Me

I write under the name of Calvin Thompson. I am a creative, accountable, and loving man. I am a Mormon who is also gay. I am married and have 3 children. My bishop is in-the-know, and so is my wife and several of my close family members. I consider myself to be a closet conservative, which is not as strange or as un-popular as you might think, and will be increasingly popular as a growing number of the left improves it's proverbial and literal aim.
I believe that LDS people are Democrats in action - as in they try to take care of people, but Republicans in name - they want to do it themselves without regulation.
I believe that the messier the fridge, the happier the family, but I still have a hard time not straightening it because I'm a control freak. My wife knows I blog, and that I am writing a book – I try to keep things as above board as I can without setting myself up for public ridicule.

"Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chasitity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage."

I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agreeor Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

Preference,not Principal

Blue shirts, red ties, dark nylon socks...

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.

Mother Teresa

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world