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Relationship Readiness: 7 Signs of a Relationship Ready Man

29 October 2017

It's just as important to be able to spot red flags and tune into someone else's readiness for a relationship as it is to be clear on your own.

If you've ever been involved with somebody who appeared to be 'ready' on the surface and it transpired that they really weren't ready to date, or be in a relationship you'll know what I'm talking about.

Best case scenario it can be a little uncomfortable and disappointing. Worst case you can set yourself up for absolute heartbreak.

When you're at the stage in your life where you're ready to meet the right person for you, it's obviously crucial to attract a man who is on the same wavelength as you. Somebody who's also ready to meet the love of their life and who wants to create a committed, long term relationship.

Over the years I've learnt that men behave in a certain way when they're relationship ready and commitment ready. And for them it really is quite straightforward in many ways. Once they decide, that's it.

They no longer 'keep their options open'.

They no longer play games and keep you guessing.

In fact, they do everything in their power to make sure you know how they feel about you.

You will absolutely know when a man is certain and ready to be in a committed relationship with you.

Here are some signs to look out for to help you recognise a man that is ready - and whether to invest your own time and energy in taking your relationship to the next level.

He consistently invests and prioritises time spent with you. You know where you stand with him. He shows you that you're his priority and that he intentionally wants to spend time with you. Whatever it takes and whatever that means for the two of you. (Sidenote: *If a man says he is 'too busy' - believe him and don't try and change or over-invest your time into seeing him)

His actions match his words. He does what he says he's going to do, when he says he's going to do it. You develop a deep knowing that you can trust what he says because he demonstrates it in big and small ways. You go to sleep at night without any worry or concern that he may not be trustworthy or that he has something to hide.

He is emotionally mature, at ease with himself and comfortable in his own skin He's sorted and he has his life together.He's created a life that he loves, he has a compelling vision for his future and is confident in his ability to create that. Now he's looking for a team mate, a partner that will be by his side all the way. And he's not willing to settle.He's open to sharing how he feels and embraces your feelings too, instead of shying away, make you feel like 'too much' or that your vision for your future is less important.

He's not stuck in the past and takes responsibility for his part in previous relationship breakdown / divorce. He's truly moved on from his ex and previous relationship/marriage on every level. He can talk about his past in a constructive way and recognise ways that he could possibly have done things differently and takes responsibility for his own actions. He's done the work to figure out how he can make his next relationship a success, and he doesn't carry anger, bitterness or an unforgiving attitude towards an ex-partner. He still believes in commitment and he's willing and open to work on a relationship.

It's not just about sex. He'll wait until you're ready, and is just as affectionate outside the bedroom as inside. He's comfortable with deepening intimacy over time. Both sexually and emotionally and takes his time to learn what works for you and what doesn't.

He really wants to get to know you and pay attention to the detail about your life. He's interested in what makes you tick, and the more he gets to know you the more he wants to know. It's easy being around him because he is at ease with himself and he loves your quirks and idiosyncrasies. He listens when you speak and surprises you in big and small ways to make you feel loved and cared for in a way that is meaningful to you.

You're becoming part of his future. Whether it's introducing you to his friends, family, colleagues or children, making weekend or holiday plans - or just planning a night out, you are part of his plans and his future.

If you're looking for a long term, committed relationship it's just crucial to decide where you invest your time and energy.

Listen to your gut feeling, your instinct when you're in those early phases of getting to know someone.

It can be easy to feel responsible for things not going in the right direction when you're with someone who isn't ready to be in a relationship. They may have the best intentions and not even realise this themselves.

*Rebound relationships are often particularly tricky and it would be wise to go into something like that with eyes wide open.

If you find that you're constantly doubting yourself, feeling insecure and second-guessing whether you're being 'too much', or 'not enough', and whether you should 'do more', or work harder at being with someone in order to make the relationship work.

Those are some really big red flags to pay attention to. It may be that they're just not ready to engage in the kind of relationship you want.

Or it may be that there are deeper issue that mean you're incompatible.

There are many really great high-quality, relationship ready and commitment ready men out there. I know it may not feel like it - there is definitely a lot of evidence to the contrary - I get that.

But there is the other side to this as well. There really are amazing men out there that want a committed relationship just as much you do, and who are ready for it.

And the best way of attracting and meeting the right person for you is to put everything you can into working on your own life and your own relationship readiness.

There's nothing more attractive than a woman who is authentically confident in who she is and who lives her life on her terms - alive, aligned and all in. To me this is what it means to be 'ready for love'.

That way you'll exponentially increase the chances of meeting somebody on your own wavelength.

And ready to have an amazing dating journey with and working towards creating the relationship of a lifetime with the love of your life.

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About Ané

So you're working on your own Relationship Readiness - but it's obviously a two-way street right? It's just as important to be able to spot red flags and tune into someone else's readiness for a relationship as it is to be clear on your own.