“Brother Maynard has suggested that September should be a month of post-charismatics giving voice to what apostolic leadership could/should look like. I’d (RobbyMac) like to propose a synchro-blog to get the ball rolling – namely, as I’ve just shared my earliest “charismatic” experience (after becoming a Christian, that is), let’s remind ourselves and tell each other our stories of how we first became acquainted with, and eager for, the felt presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives.”

So here goes:

I wonder what comes to mind when you hear the Holy Spirit mentioned? Is it a picture of a dove? a person falling over? tongues? healing? prophesy? Or are those things finished, are you cessationist (someone who believes those things were just for the early church)?

It’s interesting for me reflecting on this idea, you see if I look back, its not the ‘traditional’ charismatic concept of ‘manifestations’ (I don’t like that word at all, sounds like a phrase from Ghostbusters!) of the Holy Spirit that comes to mind. No loud voices from heaven, no sensations of being ‘slain in the spirit’, not tongues, not healing, or any of the ‘noisy’ ones.

Don’t get me wrong I have experienced those, I’m not a cessationist by far, I believe in the supernatural, I believe in the Holy Spirit, I know that, but those visible, loud, whatever you want to call them experiences, don’t stick out, they are vague memories, shadows almost… I vaguely remember once speaking in tongues and falling over at Stoneleigh (New Frontiers conference) one year, but to me that isn’t etched into my brain as I would expect a major encounter with the Holy Spirit (gotta remember we’re talking about Almighty God here!).

I’ve had a couple of experiences where the sense of God the Spirit has been so tangible, that its pierced right to the core of my heart.

I guess the first time was when I became a Christian, I can’t even remember most of the details like what was said, but something in the message at that meeting cut right to the core, and I knew I had to respond. I’ll share more about that when I get around to posting my testimony…

Another occasion was at Bible college, right whilst I was in the middle of dealing with a really screwed up relationship, I stumbled upon a spontaneous worship session, and since I was on an essay avoidance mission I sat down to listen, anyway we started singing the song (can’t remember what it is called) with the line “your love is the anchor” and I just broke inside, all the junk and sorrow and anger and unforgiveness poured out in tears and I knew the Holy Spirit was dredging all the muck that had built up in my heart.

Now whilst these experiences are stuck in my mind, the ones that really mean something to me are those where at the time I haven’t really felt or seen anything, I’ve just kinda wondered aimlessly and its only looking back that I see just how powerfully God’s hand was in it… Its really those times that I’ve truly experienced the power of the Holy Spirit, even though at the time I haven’t realised it!

For an example one time that really sticks in my mind, was during a time when I was particularly struggling with the whole self-confidence thing (those who know me will know this is a big issue for me), I was feeling utterly useless and that I had no purpose, anyway I went along to church and ended up chatting with someone (who has become a good friend) after the service and we randomly began discussing a subject that I have no idea how we started on it as it had nothing to do with anything, looking back I can see that the Holy Spirit led us to that subject. Anyway it was something that had come up once at Bible college and I remembered the discussion, and related it to my friend, who was struggling with exactly that subject! He said so, and that really spoke to me in the midst of my doubts – that I could actually do something useful, and it helped my friend with his faith struggles.

That to me is the really power of the Holy Spirit, the power that directs us to speak to that person we can encourage with our particular story, that power that leads us to forgive rather than strike back, that power that power that helps us make the right choice and turn from wrong paths, that power that helps us love those the world doesn’t.

That for me is the power of the Spirit, the quiet, behind the scenes, ordinary work of God in our lives, that we only see in hindsight maybe even not in this lifetime…

Well I think I may have completely missed the point of the question that first triggered this post, but I just had to keep going, so I hope you’ll forgive my ramblings!