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1864 blog post- kori

I was not affected by Sherman's
march. But my family was. Knowing that my son was taking care of the family by
farming was so vital to my emotional health. Because now I know my family is
struggling because the union burned everything! I was not there but Beth said
it was hell on earth as if demons disguised as union soldiers opened a portal
of fire from below which caught everyone's valuables on fire. Because I did not
know that people who once fought the revolutionary war with us could be so
evil, I now go to sleep aching from the bruises the fighting gives my ripped
skin, and my family. Not because I know what happened to them but because I
don't know what is going to happen. I don’t understand- I don’t know when
Lincoln will give the union a pat on the back for vigorously tearing apart
children and women's lives but I hope it slaps the sense into them.Lincoln said all men are created
equal in
his Gettysburg address. Well when will he follow through with it? Because as
far as I'm concerned he means all northerners and all the southern slaves are
created equal. I guess when Lincoln wants equality he tears the country apart.
Maybe I
have
not grasped onto what equality means but I've been on the earth long enough
that I know it does not mean
discrimination against
where they live(south or north). I am one that easily forgives,
I
have to forgive living in war. But it will be a while for me to learn how to
forgive the people who destroyed my family. They can destroy my leg, and even
weaken my soul even more,
but they
will not burn or lay another finger on my family. I hope your happy Lincoln,
you got one more soldier who is now owned by insomnia.You're
a
hypocrite. What's worse than a hypocrite? A hypocrite with power. Stop saying
the southern way of life needs to end if your ending lives to. Either you don't
have feelings. Or you don't believe in true equality for everyone.
Either way- I hope you got what you wanted Lincoln. I'm sure Washington would
be proud of the downgrade of the presidents and love
to see the president allowing
his
people to raid families, to raid my
hope of a life led by patriotism.

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I seem to enjoy
the dead
screaming
silence
that makes me feel so
alive
but makes others dead seconds later
the silence in the beginning of a battle
the first shot comes
and the ripple effect starts
And then comes the sounds that make up a band people would pay not to go to
Then smell of empty smoke
which does not bode well with my dry mouth my
dry mouth
that water would surely cure
my dry mouth
that hard tack feeds and fills every sour taste bud
but does not fill me
my dry mouth
that is dry from watching my red
bloody best friend die in a battle
red
the color of
anger
of loneliness
of war
red
like the blood trickling down his arm
calling for my name
echoing puffs of horror
ringing in my
wounded ear drums
red the color that is getting sucked out of my fake smile
I have to get to my family
I have to give to my kids who looks
at there daddy as a
strong
wise man
who never hurts
but inside my viens are collapsing with the
vicious
absence of blood and
absence o…