Designer & Web Strategy Consultant in Sheffield, UK

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Vulnerable

Loving and having a family makes us vulnerable, we need to open up and to expose ourselves and wait to see if it will come back in return. Caring for others is painful when they suffer and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Is it better to stay from away it all and avoid exposing oneself and instead staying protected?

I believe not. I think life is very good at beating up “hard shells” and “tough” people. It keeps hitting until there’s nothing left to resist. But loving, leaving yourself open with with the opportunity for the other side to be merciful is always the harder way.

Loving, giving everything you have for someone else, putting your desires on the side to help someone in need (when you can do it) is a rare and invaluable opportunity. An opportunity that may not come often and can give you more than work, money or possessions, it can give you fulfilment, purpose and gratitude, appreciation and humanity. But it only works if you mean it, if you want it and without all the doubts and backup plans, only when you go all in with your heart.

Having a family is the same, it’s not about the calculations, the summaries, who did what, who owes what, it’s about understanding, companionship, sharing and connection (by family I don’t mean a biological one necessarily).

Be vulnerable, open up and take the risk, put your heart into it and don’t be afraid to get hurt. That’s part of the deal and not risking, you won’t get anything out of it. The nature of relationships is vulnerable comes with commitment, putting what you have on the table and forgetting “mine” and “yours”. There is a risk, but I think the potential rewards are worth it and the alternative incomparable.

We all do Ilina, but from my experience getting all in always pays off. Even if it ends painfully, you learn a lot more from that experience and the lesson that it becomes helps with the next relationship or attempt.