Any chance this is just a software thing and my iPad 3G can do this eventually? Cause I'll be honest, I don't have some screenshots to post right now but I barely get a fraction of the speeds the rest of you get.

You are recording your speeds in KB(kilobyte), multiply that by 8 to get kb(kilobit), which is what everyone else is using.

I'm well-aware of the difference between kilobits and kilobytes, and I listed my speeds in kilobytes because its way more practical than kilobits. I'm also well-aware that in terms of kilobits I'm still being smoked by other people here.

The equivalent, just because you're such a good-looking guy:
Down: ~680 kilobits/sec
Up: ~128 kilobits/sec

I'm in Charlotte and getting download spees between 3.5 and 4.5 mbps while upload speeds are around 1.5 and 2.0 mbps!!! These are super fast speeds for a 3G network. This will more than hold me over until LTE is introduced next year!