(Closed) No Boxed Gifts Destination Wedding!

I need advice on gifting for a freind’s wedding. Here’s the situation:

My friend is having a destination wedding and I was only notified of this a few months before the wedding date. That is fine, I suppose, but considering I only have a limited number of vacation days per year and she is one of my best friends, I had to cancel on my dear uncle whose son was getting married in another country (not destination) and who loves me to death. However, that is a choice that I made. I wish I had known earlier so I could manage my vacation days to allow both – oh well.

I got a call from the bride saying that she got me a deal on the package for only $1500! Which she said was an amazing deal! Alright, fine. I know weddings cost money so I’ll go ahead. Multiply by two since I wil be attending with my S/O. I am a bridesmaid for the wedding and was asked to get a dress (any dress, one that I like) in yellow. I had something I could use, so I was happy about that. I just got a call that the bride changed her mind to a pink dress just weeks before the wedding. Again, I can get whatever kind of dress I looove so that’s a great deal for me, right(?). Also bridal shower is on the way soon. All this from a bride who is not spending a dme on her own wedding dress and just borrowing someone’s dress. I know for a fact that the dinner will be a very low cost affair on her end because she is very thrifty (nothing wrong with that).

I am in my early twenties and just graguated school with huge debts recently. I have been working for around 6 months. Her and her fiance are well established financially.

Now the kicker is that I got an e-vite (why spend money on actual cards?) stating blatanly “No Boxed Gifts” right on the invite! I was thinking that after having spent so much on the bridemaid dress, the package, the shower, I could gift her something from my ‘reserve gift stash’. Basically I buy gorgeous 14kt real gold jewelry when I have some money and find a good deal and put it away as a gift when I need to give one. I was planning on giving her a Zales necklace, earrings and ring set in 14K gold.

Am I fair to be *very* annoyed right now? I suppose I could sell the jewelry and give her cash for whatever I get for it. Really strapped for cash otherwise with all this piling up!

I’m going to hope that they simply don’t want to haul a lot of boxes home on a flight and poorly executed how to get that message out. Generally boxed gifts are given at showers and are sent to the bride’s home ahead of the actual wedding, while cards and monetary gifts are given at the wedding. I would give her the gift you were planning to give her at the shower, and at the wedding simply give her a card with a heartfelt note.

They shouldn’t have put anything on the invitation about gifts. Even if its an e-vite. And I really hope you were able to return your yellow dress and get a full refund or exchange it for the pink one, and if not then she better have reimbursed you.

I’m spending a good chunk of change to get to a friend’s wedding this summer (I’m als in it). I really can’t afford to get her a gift. I’m contributing to the shower – both food and part of the group bridesmaid gift, and will give her a card with a heartfelt note for the actual wedding. I’m hoping that my efforts geting me and FI there and standing up next to her will make up for the fact that I simply cannot afford a gift.