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How does my project fit into our company's overall strategy? "Beats me. I didn't even know we had a strategy." "Never ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer." "That's why I never say 'How are you?'"

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Coworker: I assigned three more engineers to help on your project. One is on paternity leave, one is in the hospital, and one doesn't start for another month. If there's anything else you need, please hesitate to ask.

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Wally: They found asbestos in our ceiling. We're all in danger.
Asok: "I must use my telekinesis to remove the asbestos." "GAAA!" The threat has been neutralized. You must never ask me how it was done."
Wally: I'm not even curious."

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Interview this candidate and make sure he isn't too old. "It's illegal to ask his age." "Just stall until you see the telltale signs of E.E.H.G." "E.E.H.G.?" "Explosive ear hair growth." "Hmm. No wrinkles. But maybe he uses moisturizers and stays out of the sun." "Wait...wait..." "Can't...hold out any...longer." "GAAA!!! Look away! Look away!" "Ha!" "Then I waited and waited...What?"

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The Boss: as the vendor to take 20% off the price.
Dilbert: Now???
You already signed the contract, The price is set in stone.
The Boss: It doesn't hurt to ask.
Dilbert: It doesn't?
SO...although we just signed the contract, would you please lower the price 20%
Ha Ha Ha!!!
Geta time machine you bumpkin!!!
DIlbertL GAAA!! I feel stupid and filled with self loathing....futiloty tugs at my should,,,,my guts are clenched!
Good.
Ask Id they'll go for 19%
DIlbert: It hurts to ask!!!

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Boss: You complained about your work load, SO I hired an inexperienced guy to help.
Dilbert: This is exactly the opposite of what I wanted.
Boss: He doesn't know much, But he makes up for it by asking lots of questions.
Dilbert: So He'll be bugging me every minute?
Boss: Not every minute. He takes a lot of sick days.
Dilbert: So....you hired a guy who is useless, But its okay because he also has bad attendance?
Boss: Its not a perfect world.
Is this a good time to ask some questions?

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CEO: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean we can ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times and build something entirely different? CEO: Is there a version where we don't do any of that and I can still call myself a hacker?

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Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.