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This was not the way it was supposed to happen – as anyone who received one of 100 invitations to the couple's Oct. 16 wedding can vouch. But three weeks ago, amid growing paparazzi attention and mounting stress, Spears, 22, and Federline, 26, scrapped their original plans for a lavish to-do at Santa Barbara's Bacara resort in favor of a ceremony for just 27 friends and relatives – all of whom were kept in the dark until minutes before the ceremony. (Moving up the date prevented the couple from filing their marriage license prior to the wedding.) "I just thought it would be too much if we had done it when we were supposed to," says Spears. "It became this huge thing and I was like, 'What are we waiting for? We know this is the real thing, why not just do it now?' That's why I wanted to sneak and do it our little way."