Jonah Hill: You’re Dead to Me
Wednesday, Sep 14 2011

Who the fuck does Jonah Hill think he is??? The dude was absolutely slaughtering the game as a young Sherman Shrader in Accepted. In SuperBad him and Michael Cera had me laughin harder than that time EVZ and Topal aka Toecheese had a boxing match. Now the dude isn’t funny at all!! I dont know if you have seen him recently but he’s been hangin around Jared from Subway alot. Jonah Hill went from a fat funny dude, to a skinny horrendous asshole, let me tell why this all went down.

Jonah Hill is mad selfish. His career was booming and everyone loved him, but one thing got in the way. He was still a fat unfuckable virgin with Dickcheese that smelled worse than concoction of 3 month old cottage cheese combined with Liza Manelli’s undouched pussy. Lets be honest for a second, money only attracts women so much. Women would rather fuck an 81 year old that doesnt smell, than a 27 year old who’s obese and smells like doodoo nuggets. Jonah Hill decided he was done making us laugh and he was ready to get some domeington’s and shred some lower lips. Completely selfish and self-centered. I’m ready to start the boycott of Jonah Hill until he weighs over 3 hundy and any followers will be graciously accepted. I think we should start by kidnapping Jared from Subway and holding him hostage until Jonah Hill decides to only eat all you can eat chinese. My next initiative is to hire someone to walk around with Jonah with mad double cheeseburgers, this way he can just feed them to him all day.

This is a start, plenty of new plans will be brewing in the time being. But bottom line, the dudes sweat glands were releasing comedic protons and neutrons that were making us all laugh. We can’t smell Jonah through the screen so it doesn’t really matter to us how smelly he is. Until he’s at the 3 hundo mark, I aint watch him. The guys being unfair to us and his fat must be restored.