Books by Denise N. Fyffe

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Think on these things: Making Idols out of Romantic Relationships, Guys, Engagement, Boyfriends, Husbands…

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We talked about what idolatry is in the last post. Now, lets cover some of the ways that idolatry plays out. I believe a lot of this begins in middle school, maybe even earlier. It is a progressive series of idols that girls tend to glorify, worship, obsess over and would do ANYTHING to have – give up time, money, self, identity, virginity, future, family relationships, other friendships, health, and almost anything else for the promise and allure of romance, love and feeling safe and cherished with a guy. Romance and having a committed relationship and marriage are WONDERFUL things. But we have to be so careful not to let these goals overtake God’s place in our heart.

“If only I had a boyfriend! I would be happy! I would always feel loved and safe. I would always feel wanted. I want a boyfriend more than ANYTHING!”

“If only my boyfriend would propose to me, I would be so happy! Being engaged would be the BEST thing ever! Why won’t my boyfriend propose already? I need to get him to ask me to marry him. He’s taking way too long. Maybe I’ll just ask him.”

“If only we could be married, I would be so happy and never be lonely or have any problems again!”

And then it just moves on to other things – having babies, buying a house, fixing up a house, having a vacation, having more money…

We are NEVER satisfied by all these idols – only Jesus can give us true fulfillment, joy and contentment! These things aren’t bad things on their own. In fact, they are good! But when we try to put them in the God part of our hearts and worship them, glorify them, serve them, sacrifice everything for them – we are on a destructive path!

The problem is that all idol worship will eventually destroy the idol worshipper.

Idol worship eventually takes away our time, our money, our family relationships, our health and ultimately, our life. There is a progression that can occur when we make anything an idol. The following include some likely scenarios. The extent of destruction will depend on a number of factors including the degree of commitment to the idol and the extent of the girl’s willingness to sacrifice everything to that particular idol over time.

MALE ATTENTION

When a girl makes getting the attention of men/guys her idol, she may:

dress immodestly to attract guys’ attention.

flaunt her body.

not want to give up the attention of a guy once she gets it.

be willing to give herself sexually in dangerous and ungodly situations to try to keep a guy’s attention – not realizing that being “easy” actually repels guys in the end and doesn’t make them bond to her. So she gives up her precious virtue, virginity and chastity for a guy who cares NOTHING for her soul, her pain, the consequences of his actions on her, her safety, her well-being, her heart or the way her soul will be torn and broken because in her mind and her body – they were one flesh, and part of her will always be with him from that moment on.

give up godly friends to get more attention from guys who are willing to give her attention, even if it is in the wrong ways.

drop her relationship with God and any godly influences

suffer consequences from STDs and possible physical and sexual abuse at the hands of men who are attracted to what she advertises with her appearance and her use of her body.

be willing to do almost anything to look sexy – including spending all of her time and money on clothing, makeup, hair, vanity, appearance, surgery, etc. (so she may also begin to worship the idol of beauty and appearance)

be willing to go farther and farther in order to get the male attention she craves – and if she goes far enough, she may end up involved as a stripper, in the pornography industry, prostitution or possibly become a victim of the sex slave industry. Even if she doesn’t get into the sex industry, she may be willing to give sex to so many men that her heart, spirit and body will be very wounded, broken and damaged. (Praise God, there is hope for everyone who is willing to turn from his/her sin and turn to Christ!)

We talked about what idolatry is in the last post. Now, lets cover some of the ways that idolatry plays out. I believe a lot of this begins in middle school, maybe even earlier. It is a progressive series of idols that girls tend to glorify, worship, obsess over and would do ANYTHING to have – give up time, money, self, identity, virginity, future, family relationships, other friendships, health, and almost anything else for the promise and allure of romance, love and feeling safe and cherished with a guy. Romance and having a committed relationship and marriage are WONDERFUL things. But we have to be so careful not to let these goals overtake God’s place in our heart.