Tag: Mistress

On the weekend of the Strictly Come Dancing Final, it has me thinking back to my dancing days. I remember as a young lady, in sweeter days gone by, putting the crinoline around my waist and draping my dress over the top.

I used to love dancing when it was free style. A man would ask you to dance, and you would say yes or no. He would offer you a drink, you would say yes or no. What dance moves you did were dependent on how you danced and how he danced. No two routines would be the same.

The ballroom dancing of Strictly helps us to remember the pleasure of dancing with another person, holding them close whilst dancing to songs that crooned “I found my trill on blueberry hill”. It was the height of romance and it felt good to be a girl, being swept around the dance floor.

Those days were sweet; these days they just want to hold you and dance with you in a corner.

But my nostalgia aside, if I were a young woman now I would prefer to dance alone. Free style. Because that is the mistress’ way: free and with style. A man can offer you a drink, you can still say yes or no. Yet, the beats that sweep through you, the tune in your head, those are for you to enjoy on your own.

I am not saying that the mistress is living a lonely life, but she gets to choose when she wants a dancing partner and when she wants to be alone on that dance floor, free-styling like no tomorrow. It may seem like the sweetest thing to dance with a man, but really isn’t the sweetest thing the freedom to choose?

For those of you who know me already, welcome back to my blog – I’m sorry it has been so long.

I’m here to represent the mistress and if I don’t do it, who is going to do it? She has her place, creation made sure of that. Things are based upon three: the mistress role, BB and me.

The mistress is larger than life and she doesn’t need to be his wife. I’m back, I’m back, I’m happy about that.

For those of you who know me already, welcome back to my blog – I’m sorry it has been so long. Two long years since my last blog, in fact. So, I’ve decided to start afresh with a brand-new site (still under construction) and I’ll be bringing back some of my old blogs with a fresh, new twist that comes from two more years of experience on this planet.

Sadly, after many years of writing, interviews and public appearances, I lost two of the most important ingredients: my balance and my speech. I was diagnosed shortly after with Multiple Sclerosis, an immune-mediated process where abnormal responses are directed up to the Central Nervous System and thereby affect the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves. I struggle with pain most days, and the frustration that I no longer can get the words out that I’ve always had bubbling up inside me. But I have not been beaten. My will to write about the mistress has not been extinguished and although my outside voice is diminished, my inner voice is not.

For those of you who are new to Mistress Secrets, first and foremost I seek to empower women. To put the mistress on her own platform, because for too long mistresses have been looked down upon as distasteful women with no morals. In creation, nothing is based on two. It cannot be just the wife and him; the mistress has her place. My aim is to help her come to realize how valuable she is and that she has a dynamic role to play. It is not for her to take it for granted, or to believe she needs to replace the wife but rather, to complement her. Not every man needs a mistress because he is satisfied with his wife and there is nothing wrong with that. But pussy is what a man wants, and that is what he may go after. The mistress may assume that he loves her but that is only the feeling he gets through sensation with the mistress. Sensation is not the only love, there are many more besides which I talk of in my latest book, Recipe of Life.

The mistress role for me symbolizes freedom. I do not have to answer to anyone, give my whereabouts, prepare his meals, know where his socks are. I am free from that, because that is not the responsibility of the mistress. A mistress should not envy the wife, because the wife has her own role and she must perform within their own relationship dynamic. However, Mistress Secrets is paramount in that the responsibility lies with the mistress to keep her relationship just that – a secret. She should not seek to ‘homewreck’. If she starts to experience feelings of ownership over him, the mistress role is not right for her. I have always been happy to see BB, my lover, come. And I have always been happy to see him go.

My life has taken me many places: I grew up in Jamaica between my father’s home in St Elizabeth and my mother’s home in Kingston; I raised my young family partly in London and partly in New York. I have three wonderful children, who have all had adventures of their own. None of these have been with BB, and I would feel very strongly against that. I have been a neonatal nurse, a second-hand car saleswoman, a hypnotic therapist, a philosophy student, secretary and many other things in between. For the last forty years and then some, however, I have a been a mistress. And then after teaching myself to read and write, aged fifty, I have been an author, poet, songwriter and public speaker.

Through my writings about sex, independence, family and illness, I hope to share with you the secrets to a happy life filled with the positivity and determination to see through the bad and the good.