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Saturday, June 16, 2012

QUOTES ABOUT HUMOR

"Laughter and
tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to
laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."~Kurt Vonnegut

..........

“One morning I shot
an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

~Groucho Marx

..........

“It is forbidden to
kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers
and to the sound of trumpets.”

~Voltaire

..........

"Look at me!
Look at me! Look at me NOW!

It is fun to have
fun. But you have to know how."

~Dr. Seuss

..........

"Laughter and
tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to
laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward."

~Kurt Vonnegut

..........

“One morning I shot
an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

~Groucho Marx

..........

“It is forbidden to
kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers
and to the sound of trumpets.”

~Voltaire

..........

“I want to grow a
flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that
person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And
while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles
and punch them in the face.”

~Jarod Kintz

..........

“Laughter is the
sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”

~Jarod Kintz

...........

“Mistletoe,"
said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost
over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good
thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with marbles.”

~J.K. Rowling

..........

“And next time
you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a
little sweet talk works wonders.”

~Cassandra Clare,
City of Bones

..........

“Don't feel bad, I'm
usually about to die.”

~Rick Riordan

..........

“I think the key
indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe its
relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how
much ransom money could I get for each one?”

“Well, art is art,
isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west
is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste
much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you
know.”

~Groucho Marx

..........

“There are only two
kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely
everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”

~Oscar Wilde

..........

“She's the sort of
woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted
expression.”

~C.S. Lewis

..........

“God does not play
dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which
might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e.
everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a
pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who
won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”

~Terry Pratchett

..........

“Never travel faster
than your guardian angel can fly.”

~Mother Teresa

..........

“You forget,
darling. I am the local psychopath.”

~Kelly Armstrong

..........

“1492. As children
we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people
began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America.
Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent
of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year
sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.”

“If you want some
advice—which I'm sure you don't—you guys should lay off on the magic.
Christian still thinks you're moving in on Lissa."
"What?" he asked in mock astonishment. "Doesn't he know my
heart belongs to you?"
"It does not. And no, he's still worried about it, despite what I've
told him."
"You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him
feel better."
"If you touch me," I said pleasantly, "I'll provide you with
the opportunity to see if you can heal yourself. Then we'd see how badass you
really are.”

~Richelle Mead

..........

“I don't mean to be
rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.
"Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often,"
Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.”

~J.K. Rowling

..........

“I want to meet a
guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him,
and leave.”

~Jarod Kintz

..........

“She'd also called
me brave...unless she was

talking to the
catfish.”

~Rick Riordan

..........

“You live but once;
you might as well be amusing.

~Coco Chanel

..........

“Anyone who thinks
sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a
garage can make you a car.”

~Garrison Keillor

..........

“Beauty is in the
eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a
stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”

~Jim Henson

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“I love deadlines. I
love the whooshing

noise they make as
they go by.”

~Douglas Adams

..........

“A day without
sunshine is like, you know, night.”

~Steve Martin

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“The person, be it
gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably
stupid.”

~Jane Austen

..........

“Outside of a dog, a
book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

~Groucho Marx

...........

“Never put off until
tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

~Mark Twain

..........

“Insanity is doing
the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”

~Albert Einstein

..........

“So many books, so
little time.”

~Frank Zappa

.........

“You only live once,
but if you do it right, once is enough.”

~Mae West

..........

“Two things are
infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the
universe.”

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DISCLAIMER

Some of the posts on this site are my own ideas. I do not claim ownership of any post (photos, text, audio, video, etc.) unless otherwise stated. If posts are not based on my original idea, I will try my very best to direct you to the creator or where the idea originated from. This blog is for sharing thoughts and ideas for everyone. It is my hope that you find lots of inspirations and subscribe more. Some texts were picked from various sites, some are from the friends, some are written by me. If any similar posts/in order posts of quotations to other sites are coincidental.