The “A-B-C’s” to Disaster in the Church Nursery

A lways show up late.B e a grump.C omplain to the parents about how horrible their child was.D on’t put anything back where it belongs.E xplode whenever you are mistreated!F rown!G et hysterical over everything!H ave food crumbs and trash scattered on the floor.I f you forget to change a baby’s diaper, it’s okay.J ust do the least you can, it doesn’t really matter that you haven’t given your best.K ill time by letting the children take off all their shoes and socks.L et the babies’ noses run!M ake the biggest messes possible!N ever look pretty or appropriate when you have to work the nursery.O rganization? What’s that?P ut your nursery duty at the bottom of your list of important responsibilities.Q uickly leave when the service is over; don’t help with the cleanup!R arely check to see if the babies’ faces and hands are clean.S it in the chair and talk with the other nursery workers; the kids can take care of themselves! Gossip! Gossip! Gossip!T alk to the parents without looking them in the eye. Pretend they’re not even there.U se the same bed for several different babies without changing the sheets.V acuum the carpet only IF you are asked to do so, but do not care enough to do it without being asked.W ear your oldest and worst-looking clothes and don’t do your hair.X -pect the next workers to clean up after you.Y ell at the children to show them who is boss!Z ip in and out of the nursery. Don’t take any personal interest in it! Don’t be early!