It all started in the summer of 2000. The sun was shimmering on the chairs of our concerto stage when I, Sanjay, began to get aroused by our head advisor. Kathline. She was 5'2" and 220 pounds with a fantastic body for someone like me. This happened during the begining of my journey through puberty and I detected a sudden flow of blood to my pelvic region. To my surprise, my ♥♥♥♥♥ was erect. I had read that the only way to rid of the stiffness was to cleanse yourself of the white, creamy, fluid inside. I slowly slipped my weiner out of my pants and began to insert it into the opening of my saxophone. Realizing that my ♥♥♥♥♥ did not yet have the gurth to be pleased by the large opening at the end of a saxophone, I walked over to Johnathan and grabbed his oboe. The choir began to reprimand me and tried to take the oboe from me, but I didn't give up. I forcefully thrusted my ♥♥♥♥♥ into the butt of the instrument when, all of a sudden, a magical liquid spewed onto Kathline, my true love. They all laughed at me, yelling at me never to come back.

I hoped the worst was over when school started in September but the stories of "Sanjay ♥♥♥♥♥ Squirter" reached my school in no time, and I was tormented endlessly. Day to day people would mock me and hold their instruments near their pelvis. Months later, the date November 1st, I was walking home from school when a car approached me with what looked to be a model of me on top. After playing a recording of what sounded like a prepubescent child having an ♥♥♥♥♥♥ my "model" squirted out some mayo all over the ground.

I was done with my life, ready to give it all up, but then something glorious happened. I spotted a new entry onto the steam store with a game called "Ricochet". I decided to give this game a try before I cut my life short. But once I started this glorious creation I couldn't stop. It made me realize that no one could mock me enough to force me to miss out on the greatest game in history. The philosophical value behind this game is much greater than what the creators could have possible imagined.

Step 1: Look for a serverStep 2: Find 1 server with 2/16 slots filledStep 3: Join serverStep 4: Throw frisbees at other people, missStep 5: Find out frisbees can only be thrown flat and level, not up or downStep 6: Fall to your deathStep 7: Find AFK player and knock him down with your frisbeesStep 8: Fall to your death several more timesStep 9: Exit game and never play again