Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Playing It Plaid: The First Presidential Blog, White House Sleepovers & Keebler Fudge Stripe Cookies for All!

With 35 Days to Go before America Goes to the Polls November 4, The Scholastic Scribe continues our series of interviews with The Alternative Candidate. The Funny Candidate (although she has a couple of serious answers in today's interview, too). The Plaid Candidate. Ladies & Gents, we bring you, Hot Tub Lizzy!

News reports and SNL say that a certain Veep candidate “Can see Russia from her house.” What can you see from your house? I can see some Bar-B-Q grills and a swimming pool and a swingset. You can derive from that what I am an expert in.

Speaking of Veeps, we’ve seen some chatter over at your Lizzy for President Blog. Something about VP nominations, and even some self-nominating going on. Do you plan to have a vice-president, and if so, when and how will you decide on your Veep? I have had a myriad of thoughts about who my Veep shall be. I think the most democratic way is to put names in a hat and draw… OR… find some nice piece of eye candy…. Hmm… that has possibilities.

What are your views on “transparency” in lawmaking? I never liked transparencies… you always ended up with a blue vis-à-vis hand. I really prefer lawmaking via Power Point. HA, HA–in all seriousness…I think that up to a certain point, transparency is important. I think that there is way too much back-room politics, way too many under-the-table deals, and I believe that to the extent that we don’t compromise our national security, all government should be out in the open.

Considering the faltering economy, economic bailouts and the President’s proposed plan to buy billions of dollars in bad loans, what is your position on Golden Parachutes for corporate executives? I have SERIOUS issues with all forms of excessive compensation of corporate executives. I worked for a company for 4 years and never got a cost-of-living-adjustment, never got a raise…watched the CEO pull down 7 figure BONUSES. That’s WRONG. W-R-O-N-G wrong. His success is VERY dependent on the rest of the people in his company doing their jobs, and they should ALL benefit from that, not just him. And in the case specifically of Golden Parachutes, if they lead a company so poorly that it tanked, they should be the LAST ones to profit… (yeah, I know that’s hypocritical, but I don’t care… so…there)

Voter interest in the ’08 Presidential Election is at an all-time high. Considering that a record 64 percent of registered voters voted in the Bush-Kerry race four years ago, what is your plan to translate burgeoning voter interest into voter action?Keebler Fudge Stripe Cookies for all voters…. Or maybe sleepovers at the White House for all who vote!

OK, this might seem like an obvious question, but do you know how to use e-mail? Are you making it a requirement in your administration, and if not, how will you require your cabinet to communicate? First off, I do know how to e-mail. I even know how to e-mail in multiple formats! I will make it a requirement of my administration and have decided to just have everyone set up a g-mail account so then we can instant message each other easily (and it CAN and WILL be a matter of public record) and I like their smiley faces that turn sideways. I find that amusing. And precious little amuses me these days (HA–name THAT movie!!)

What are your views on bias in the media? Will you pledge to support an “open administration” by holding weekly news conferences? ALL media is biased. I have YET to see anyone that is truly just reporting the news without some sort of editorializing, even if just in the emotion behind the words. I do think that the media needs to shut their traps on election night–regarding exit polls and “projected winners”–with a country as big as ours, that can greatly affect the perceptions of voters in the west as to the importance of their votes. I WILL have weekly news conferences for SURE!! First of all, I have the WORLD’S GREATEST Press Secretary–Miss Lula, and she will make CJ Cregg look like a bumbling idiot, so I will entrust a great deal of our communication to her capable…mouth. But I intend to be in contact with the American people…and how, you may ask? The First Presidential Blog!! I want to give people a glimpse into the world of the President, and I think a blog is the best way to do it!

Some say that one’s age automatically translates in politics into “greater experience.” According to your Blog Profile, you are exactly half the age of one “mainstream” presidential candidate, and 11 years younger than the other. Do you think this age factor puts you at a disadvantage in the race? Why or why not? I think age is such a non-factor. Experience is what matters. What have you done with your life? I’ve popped popcorn, wrapped presents, made beds, answered phones, canned peas, scrubbed toilets, transcribed meeting notes, cooked for large numbers of people, nannied, done laundry–all of those in a professional context. Now THOSE are some skills that a President can put to use!! Age, schmage, baby!!

There was quite a back-and-forth this past week about debates. If one, or the other, or both, of the current “mainstream” candidates chooses in the next couple of weeks to withdraw from a previously scheduled debate, how will you move to fill the void? I will send a Muppet in my place.Okay…no, I won’t…I will happily host a Web conference and answer all questions with the help of my Web cam… but I will NOT spend $100,000 for me and my entourage to jet about the country, while said country is either out of gas or going through an economic crisis!

Letterman or Leno? Carson.

That's it for today, Folks! BTW, if you didn't catch Last Week's Insightful Interview, Click Here. And tune in Next Tuesday, when Your Intrepid Scribe asks Lizzy the Question All America Wants to Know: Texas, NC or Memphis Barbecue?

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