Members of Jaspal Bhatti’s Nonsense Club today demanded that Divali be declared as a ‘National Festival of Bribes’. Jaspal Bhatti, president of the club, even set up a bribery gift shop in one of the shopping complexes at Chandigarh today. Congratulating all the corrupt people of the nation on this occasion, he said nobody should be ashamed of accepting bribes during Divali.

The spoof mounted by Bhatti had a valid message - Divali which was once a festival of lights had now become a festival of bribes. Bhatti said, “Whether you want your business to flourish or you are seeking a ticket in the next elections or an approval for your unauthorised structures, you can just buy a gift for those in power and silence them.”

Members of the club further welcomed everyone by singing songs like; “Diwali rishwat ka tyohar, Badega tera karobar, Bhej de afsar ko uphaar, Karega tera beda paar, Diwali rishwat ka tyohar.” Jaspal Bhatti then recalled the tale of Lord Krishna who had accepted even a humble gift of dry rice from his friend Sudama out of love for him. But today even if you take a rice cooker or a microwave as a gift to the minister, there are chances he might just kick you out saying the gift is not good enough. He will not embrace you until you offer him 50 per cent partnership in your rice factory.

In his typical satirical style, Bhatti said his highly qualified staff was even trained to offer consultancy services to people who wished to find out what kind of gift their bosses would like. Jaspal Bhatti also requested the Income Tax authorities not to raid gift shops during Divali days. He also demanded that poor officers who don’t get gifts on Divali should be given a non- bribery allowance.

Senior officers who get countless gifts should be given one week off after Divali to open their gifts and chargesheet those who have sent cheap and inappropriate gifts, Bhatti demanded.