Monday, August 18, 2008

Sweeping Generalizations: What Happens When You Assume

Further to last Friday's post, more than one person objected to my singling out the Leader bike with the doctored fork. (Okay, two people. One commented on the post, and one emailed me.) I maintain though that it is important to point out mistakes, because it's fun and informative, and it can also help people. Here's another mistake by a Leader owner, which a reader recently spotted in downtown Los Angeles:

While I strongly believe that no road-going bicycle should ever sport a quick-release seat clamp, that's mostly a stylistic quibble, and I'm sure some people have valid reasons for using them. However, there's definitely no reason to have a quick-release anything on a bike that's going to spend any time being locked up outside (unless the quick-release is there so you can remove the component and take it inside with you), and there's even less reason to lock your bike by that quick-release component and nothing else.

I have to admit that I am completely baffled as to why, of all the tubes visible in this photograph, the owner chose to pass his lock around that one. He might as well have locked it to a FedEx truck, or to a sprig of bougainvillea, or to a fragrance wafting out of a bakery. Perhaps he didn't spend enough time doing mazes with crayons on diner mats as a child and can't differentiate between closed- and open-ended.

Granted, passing a lock through a bike can sometimes be complicated, and even I have found myself staring at the ganglion of chain and cable before leaving a bike, lest I realize I got so preoccupied with securing both wheels that I forgot to pass the chain around the pole or something. But this one's just bad. It's not even like he locked only the wheel to the pole or something. In this case, the thief will get away with 100% of the bike.

The only thing that, for me, could have made it worse would have been if he'd also locked up his helmet. I don't understand why people so often lock their helmets along with their bikes. You should never, ever leave anything you intend to wear unattended on a sidewalk and attached to a pole. Unless you like wearing things that have been urinated on by dogs, bring the skid lid inside.

After looking at this bike, and Friday's bike, and Fatty's bike, I began to wonder if maybe there was something about Leader owners that might explain kind of behavior. But then I stopped myself. It's tempting to make generalizations about people based on only a few examples, but ultimately it's wrong. My generalization of Mini owners as text-messaging vinophiles was met with outrage in the Mini-driving community. I've also gotten in trouble for declaring that Canadians are lazy, people who drive Nissans are idiots, and that people who watch the sitcom "Two and a Half Men" become inappropriately aroused when their pets nestle between their legs. So having been wrong before, I'm not going to do it again. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there riding Leader bikes who know what they're doing.

There is one generalization that is true, though, and it's that Bianchi Pista owners ask too much for their bikes. The NYC PistaDex is at 550 this morning, thanks largely to this overpriced offering:

Also have a Timbuk2 Laptop Messenger Bag for sale ($55) if you want it.

It's a great ride, the fixed gear allows you to get a real feel for the road (every little movement of your legs, it feels like an extension of your body).

It's a simple but elegantly designed and well built bike. Great for the city!

I like how the "handle bar grips" are "not in picture." Of course they're not. It's a Pista! Why would they be on the bike? I also like the poetic bit about how the "fixed gear allows you to get a real feel for the road." You'll also get a real feel for the road when your hands slip off the bare bars and you rub the asphalt with your face.

Poetic as this may be, if you want to see art in the service of Pista salesmanship, you have to go to eBay. A reader recently forwarded me this offering:

Unfortunately the listing has since been removed, but I was able to manage a few screen shots before that happend. I'm sure you'll agree that this is perhaps the most evocative and controversial Pista ad ever devised. Unlike the Cervelo porn we saw awhile back, I saw no reason to censor this, because this is not porn. Not only are the naughty bits artfully obscured, but it's also kind of sepia, and anything sepia is art. That's the rule.

Dear Dear Dear Universe,You know I love you. I want only to celebrate you through excessively awesome bicycle riding whereby all humans and their children will see the bike which I will ride, and frolic in orgasmic gasps of joy about me. So please, please, please, in your mercy, send me a Rivendell bike. 54-56 cm frame would be best. Color can be whatever, for I have faith in you.In return, I swear to irritate those snotty carbon-frame riders, who will have no choice but to acknowledge the superiority of those things which you in your infinite wisdom have given us, like custom fitted lugs. And I will spread your truth and light to the aluminum riders, who have been led astray. Moreover, I understand aluminum gives you Alzheimers, and that is a terrible thing to have in your crotch. Indeed, they know not what they do. But because I have asked you in your infinite bounty, I know you will provide. Thank you in advance, Universe. Your friend and true believer, C. (the hot one with the legs and the hair, you remember me, right, Universe? Email me, we'll talk.)

I don't know which is more misguided: looking for a Rivendell on Craigslist, or attempting to communicate with a higher power on Craigslist. It's pretty much the last place you'll find either. The person who wrote this probably also freaks out at the local bodega because they don't have truffle oil. I'm also a bit disturbed that this person seems willing to trade sex for a Rivendell (although I suspect the bit about "the legs and the hair" is a typo and should simply read "with the leg hair," since we are talking about a Rivendell fan), and even more disturbed by the revelation that aluminum can apparently give you Alzheimers of the crotch. All I can say about that is, thank the Universe the model in the eBay ad is straddling a steel bike!

Nude sepia bike modeling is how I imagine frilly spends those quiet evenings at home in the CWE. Red patent leather kitten heals w/ spd clips? Certainly she's gonna be astride a whip more deserving than a Pista. I can appreciate your modesty and taste, frills.

Wow. That guy praying for a Rivendell sure has a fistful of seatpost up his... um... seat tube. Not sure there's any clearance between the top tube and his (apparently Alzheimer's decimated) crotch though.

Maybe Leader bikes are for the more "athleticly oriented" like Fatty? Pistas are for anyone, IROs are for those who used to own Pistas, Surlys are for people who like brown bikes. And so on and so forth. Oh and Mercier bikes are worth twice what you paid....

People relying on provocative pictures to increase traffic on a website!?! Unheard of! Outrageous!, this is not the internet I signed on for! We should all just be exchanging data packets on electron dynamic simulations and using emoticons anyway, not staring at..at...smut..there, I said it.:-)

On vacation today, so I got to watch the women's olympic triathalon from Bejing. The announcer helpfully informed the viewers that the competitors held speeds on the flats between 30 and 40 MPH in the bike leg. Damn, either those girls are really, really fast, or that announcer is really, really retarded.The coolest part? One of the competitors crashed AFTER dismounting, while running to park the bike before starting the run leg.

Well, I thought I did. I do ride a lot. I'm young and well educated and, as much as Snob doesn't want to fling muck in the comments section, it's the only place you can really try to scare him out of his hole.

I'd love to have a real discussion but he makes it pretty clear he is not interested and if I have learned anything in my time wading around in forums, neither is anyone else.

Like I said, I was recommended this site by a now one-armed friend so Snob does a have a fan in my circle.

He might even be on hear fencing with me as we speak.

I don't like hypocrisy and this place is chock full of it. Nothing is funnier than you guys screaming at me for commiting the same crimes as your leader.

Get lost tourist. I'm sure you are so unimpressed by the content here as you lack any creativity of your own. Where's your blog? Pack up your platitudes and go troll the political sites to make your delightful contributions to the eternal flame. You are boring.

It's amazing how many ways try-athletes can crash a bike, in fact, it's really the only innovation in the sport since speedos cannot get any smaller according to the laws of physics. I see a new demonstration sport in 2012: trythlete crashing open mat competition, and dare I dream...synchronized trythlete crashing open mat competition.

...having been born there, i' ll attest that i sure as hell am but not "all"...

...anon 2:11...re: your attitude of "Nothing is funnier than you guys screaming at me for committing the same crimes as your leader. The only difference is you don't think he deserves it."......no, dummy...the difference is, he's good, if not great at it & you aren't...like, not even close...

I hope enjoy spamming internet message boards, I hope you prosper in this quest.

Aside from Anon 2:11 comments,

I would like to say, I have "locked" my bike up at a train station, only to come back several hours later and realised that I just locked the rear wheel to the frame.

However a battered 80's racing bike with a Rolls saddle that looks like it has been on the receiving end of wolverine's adamantium claws and a rather scratched up paint job does is not attractive to most bike thieves.

I thought Rivendell ownership was a rite of passage; not something the bicycle Gods casually bestow upon one. I mean, are we sure this guy knows how to filter drinking water through a sweaty bandana, argue the finer points of wool, wipe his ass Pilipino style?

I don't care what he claims 2:11 is one of the Mini Owners. His vitriol matches perfectly and his recent appearance occurred just after the Mini-Outing.

He also has the same backed-up seropurulent level of anger, like the Mini Owners, that just threatens to "door" your ass off your bike, but fortunately (and unfortunately for him) not the actual balls to do it. I really think this guy belongs to our new and fast growing class of poorly educated and misinformed intellectuals we're growing like crabgrass here in the good old US of A. Fake biker. Fake non-Mini Owner. Fake intellectual. Hence severe jealousy of BSNYC and anyone like him.

Anon 2:11, we already knew exactly what you are all about, but calling yourself well educated, then misusing "hear" for "here" in the same post is just a little precious. In a few days, you will move on, like the other attention whores before you invariably have. In the meantime, I am going back to you having a community college education.Cordially,Wishiwasmerckx

2:11 - you can make fun of us for being sycophants, make fun of BikeSnob for being trite, but on Christ's wounds, I beg you, please consider that you may be wrong in your overuse of elipses.

There is a commenter around here who will tear you a new one if he catches you abusing the ellipses. Overuse, misplacement, and improper spacing between the periods could all get you into trouble with him. Moreover, your flagrant ellipsis abuse calls into question your claims of being well educated; perhaps you are educated, but well educated? I am not so sure. . . .

Please, don't thank me for the advice. It's the least I can do. I mean, y'know, as long as we're being petty, smug little pedantic bastards here and all.

OMG, Aluminum frames gives you Alheimers in the crotch, I would have never guessed...hmmm why am on on this bike...oh where am I. I'm lost can someone please get me home now....I'm scarred!!!! Oh wait that's not my crotch speaking to me is it?

Canadians are not lazy, they are sneaky. They look just like us, but they are not. Look for the Maple leaf.

The Alzheimer's thing is a non-issue. In order to get Alzheimer's one would have to expose a bare crotch to bare aluminum for quite some time. And besides, how much does a crotch need to remember anyway?

A--I'm actually a mid-county girl. As for the speed clips, I'll have to have a word with the fellas at the lbs. I don't wear flip flops and would never consider them proper footwear for any, um, "bike modeling" sessions.

Nah, Bike snob doesn't use any of Adam's catch phrases, isn't *cool* enough (no offense snobby but I think we can all agree that you, like all bikers, are kinda a dork)and I think Adam would make a terrible writer. Anyone else think Striker ruins loveline and it will never be the same without Adam?

The back bone is connected to the hip bone, and the hip bone is connected to the thigh bone ,and the thigh bone is connected to the leg bone. Thus legs are irrefutably connected to your body as Doctor Nick Riviera explained in Anatomy 101. And when did Melanie do a remake on her 60’s hit….. Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Rivendell. My friends all have Cervelos I must make amends

Anon 2:11 if you are young, well educated and probably stunning looking like Brad or Angie as you elude to then you have a group of sicko-phants around you 24/7 who can slap you on the back after you woo the RTMS out of his stoat hole and slay him with your barbed wit. More physically challenged trolls like me only wish upon a star to catch a parting wisp of your exhaust. And look what you did , you scared BGW away , now I have nothing to base my day upon

Do you ever wonder if someone's casing you Bike Snob? You know kids playing along, setting up quick release u-lock techniques right outside of your haunts?I know new york is a big city and all, but you never know right? Other wise that was some funny shit, and I too have found myself staring at my bike , making sure I haven't somehow not secured it as best I can. Good call on the helmet though... I'm throwing this one away and bringing it in from now on.

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Just recently bought a Rivendell Sam Hillborne off of Craigslist. Had to drive 6 hours to Vermont to pick it up. Despite my decidedly distant desire for a dalliance, there was no sepia damsel dallying with the deliverable at my destination, just the crusty, honest, nobel Vermonter who'd posted the prize. I'm thinking of setting it up as a gravel bike with fenders...

About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!