Sex and marriage: Man proves fidelity by cutting off his schwanz

posted at 9:48 pm on May 31, 2006 by Allahpundit

The good news is, they were able to re-attach it. The bad news is, his status for the Carson Palmer Cornhole Classic is questionable at best.

See what happens when traffic lags? At the first sign of trouble, Allah goes tabloid.

All right, serious news. Marriage is “on the rocks” in Britain thanks to a pair of rulings last week that added a distinct California flavor to the country’s divorce laws. Here’s the write-up from Reuters. In a nutshell, alimony will now be based not just on need but on compensation for lost earnings, and a spouse who marries with the expectation of being rich is entitled to have that expectation realized during the division of property — no matter how short the marriage was. British divorce lawyers responded with predictable alarmism.

But that’s small potatoes. The big news today comes from the Guardian, which reports that Britain’s Law Commission is set to take things a step further: because fewer people are getting married, the Commission proposes applying divorce law to couples who have cohabited for a set statutory period. They want to make palimony the default law of the land, in other words — a de facto reinstitution of common-law marriage in its incidents if not its name. The goal is to eliminate economic inequality that might have accrued between the partners during the relationship, even though they didn’t submit to the state’s jurisdiction by getting married.

Damn. I think I could learn to live without the lady before I could learn to live without the Scwanz.

On a more serious note that whole convoluted mess regarding marriage over in the UK is pretty typical of the Liberal mindset. Let’s make laws in society regarding children and/or family so complicated and difficult to live with that fewer and fewer people decide to actually create families and procreate…

…and then scratch your head like damn dumb ape when you don’t understand why the immigrant Muslim population is beginning to out-populate you by leaps and bounds.

I’m not saying I agree with the Muslim vision of family values – pretty f*cking stone-aged if you ask me. Nevertheless they understand the numbers game. Something those “Enlightened Euros” do not.

“The scientists, at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, examined the DNA of 148 healthy male and female university students and compared the results with questionnaires asking for the students’ self-descriptions of their sexual desire, arousal and sexual function. They found a correlation between variants in a gene called the D4 receptor and the students’ self-reports on sexuality.”

Self-reporting of sex on a college campus? What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, and about that couple celebrating its 78th, it reminds me of the joke about the couple, married for 75 years, who went before a judge for a divorce. The judge wanted to know why they were seeking a divorce after such a long marriage. They told him they wanted to wait until the children died.

Somehow this reminds me of a Margaret Smith routine:
“My Dad’s got problems. He has gambling fever, is an alcoholic who has been sober for three years, and is going bald. He just spent 10,000 dollars getting those little hair plugs put in.
One night he got drunk, and to win a bet he shaved his head…
so now I owe him ten bucks.”