A year after his death, Seau’s family and friends say they take solace in the countless connections he made during his two decades of charitable work and community outreach

Junior Seau and Oceanside High School Principal Chris Hurst (right) attend the dedication of an athletic training course at the school on Sept. 13, 2011. The Junior Seau Foundation gave the school a $25,000 grant to install and maintain the training course. Seau was a standout athlete during his years at the school. U-T FILE

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Junior Seau and Oceanside High School Principal Chris Hurst (right) attend the dedication of an athletic training course at the school on Sept. 13, 2011. The Junior Seau Foundation gave the school a $25,000 grant to install and maintain the training course. Seau was a standout athlete during his years at the school. U-T FILE

Israel Paopao, center, and others, run at the Oceanside Pier during the Seven60 Athletes workout, part of the lasting legacy of Junior Seau&apos;s community involvement. Israel&apos;s father, Paul Paopao, Seau&apos;s best friend from elementary school and Seau started the Junior Seau 55 Workout, of which the Seven60 Athletes grew out of.

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Israel Paopao, center, and others, run at the Oceanside Pier during the Seven60 Athletes workout, part of the lasting legacy of Junior Seau's community involvement. Israel's father, Paul Paopao, Seau's best friend from elementary school and Seau started the Junior Seau 55 Workout, of which the Seven60 Athletes grew out of.

Allison Yahnke was just a timid fourth-grader in the special education program at Solana Highlands Elementary School in Carmel Valley when she was introduced to Junior Seau, the San Diego Chargers linebacker, in the fall of 2001.

Her mother, Julie, was in charge of nearby Carmel Creek Elementary School’s “Red Ribbon Week,” a drug and violence prevention awareness campaign. Her father, Dale, the treasurer of the Junior Seau Foundation, came up with the idea to surprise the kids with a “mystery” keynote speaker: Seau.

Although he had torn his biceps muscle in a game the day before, and had stayed up most of the night analyzing game film, Seau happily appeared at Carmel Creek, on time, all smiles and raring to go. Dressed in a blue silk suit and flip-flops, he towered over the children, who were sitting cross-legged on the floor and bursting with excitement.

“Size 15s coming through!” he proclaimed, circling the room, introducing himself to each and every child, shaking hands or patting backs.

To temper the commotion, Seau began by putting Allison on the spot.

“Junior started off by talking very fondly of this one little girl, and I didn’t know who he was talking about,” Allison recalled. “He said that he’d just met her a half an hour before, that he was struck by her kindness, and that she was his friend, his buddy.

“Then, he said, ‘Allison Yahnke, will you please come up to the front of the room?’ I had full-on bug eyes. I was so scared that I didn’t go to Junior, I ran straight to my dad, who was standing in the back.

“Junior called me his buddy, and I can’t tell you how special that was. I had a place in his heart. That was so special.”

From that moment on, Seau became like a big brother to Allison. When she turned 12, she insisted on serving mashed potatoes at his charitable Thanksgiving dinners at Seau’s restaurant in Mission Valley. For the next nine years, she dished up meals to 700 people from various nonprofit agencies and the military, often for four hours straight.

Today, Allison, 22, is enrolled in Pathway at the UCLA Extension, a two-year certificate program for students with intellectual and other developmental disabilities. She is thriving in and out of the classroom — she is happy, secure and becoming more independent — and she is on track to graduate this spring. She said that she owes her accomplishments to her parents and to Seau.

“I got a lot of confidence in life and success from Junior,” Allison said. “He encouraged me to do my own thing, in whatever I wanted to do. He showed me how to treat others. He taught me to be thankful for my family.

“I loved being part of his life. I was his buddy, and he was mine.”

Irreplacable treasure

Thursday marks the first anniversary of Seau’s tragic death. After a 20-season career as one of the best linebackers in NFL history, Seau, a 12-time Pro Bowler, retired from football in January 2010, with the hopes of spending his free time surfing, golfing and enjoying his four children.

But his transition into the real world proved to be difficult. He struggled with the loss of his self-identity and the lack of structure in his life. He suffered from depression, insomnia, anxiety, alcoholism, sex and gambling addiction, emotional detachment, mood swings, violent and suicidal behavior, failed businesses and near bankruptcy.

In late April 2012, the Bellagio casino in Las Vegas, where Seau had gambled millions of dollars during his lifetime, called in a $400,000 marker he had owed for 18 months. But the gambling debt was returned to the Bellagio because Seau’s account had insufficient funds.

A few days later, on the morning of May 2, Seau put a .357-magnum to his chest and shot himself in the heart at the age of 43.

His children donated his brain tissue to the National Institutes of Health, and researchers concluded that Seau suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a type of brain damage found in other deceased former football players.

Although Seau never had a documented concussion during his NFL career, most of the problems he was wrestling with in the 2½ years leading up to his suicide are issues also associated with those suffering from CTE.

In the year since Seau’s death, there have been many changes in what was his world. His children and his parents have filed wrongful-death lawsuits against the NFL and official-helmet maker Riddell Inc. His beachfront home in Oceanside has been sold. His restaurant has closed, and the 15,000-square-foot space has been temporarily leased to Eastlake Church.

And though its role has been reduced, the Junior Seau Foundation remains open and still serves the youth of San Diego. During his 20 years at the helm of the foundation, Seau distributed more than $4 million to almost 200 organizations throughout San Diego County, providing services to children and young adults, including $1 million in scholarships to college-bound students through his Scholars of Excellence program. He was arguably the most generous — and the most successful — philanthropic athlete in San Diego history.

“Junior was an incredibly special, giving human being,” said Dan Engel, co-founder of the Miracle League of San Diego, one of Seau’s favorite charities. It offers special-needs children the opportunity to play in an organized baseball league. Seau donated $30,000 over three years to purchase uniforms for the 200 Miracle League players.

“We are incredibly grateful to him. His death is a tragic loss for our community,” Engel said. “It’s hard to describe the hole his death leaves because how do you replace an individual who cared so much and put so much of himself into helping the youth of San Diego? And Junior was a force of a person. By the force of his personality, he was able to raise a lot of money. How do you fill his hole?”

Seau’s childhood friend Frank Zimmerman, the varsity boys’ soccer coach at Oceanside High School, where Seau was a standout football star, believes Seau was a community treasure that is irreplaceable.

“Junior was able to connect deeply with people, and that’s a gift that few have,” Zimmerman said. “That’s gone. I’m sure the foundation could continue, but its ability to raise money is not the same.”

At the time of Seau’s death, the foundation had amassed an endowment of more than $1 million, a personal goal of Seau’s to perpetuate his charitable giving in San Diego well after his retirement from the NFL. However, there are no longer any full-time employees. Its largest fundraiser, the Junior Seau Celebrity Golf Classic, and its highly successful Scholars of Excellence program, have been suspended for this year, and that may be permanent. There will be no more of his Thanksgiving dinners at Seau’s.

Although the board of trustees wants to continue Seau’s favorite program, Shop with a Jock, held in December, it is still trying to determine the foundation’s future.

“The board continues to have discussions about the future of the foundation, and the goal is to have an impact on the youth of San Diego,” said Dale Yahnke, the foundation’s treasurer. “Junior was the face of the foundation. Without him, it will be very difficult for the foundation to function in the manner that it did.”

Seau’s four children understand that the foundation was dear to his heart, but they, too, are wrestling with its future.

“My siblings and I feel it is still important to keep the foundation open, to carry on his charitable legacy and to do what he felt was right,” said Sydney Seau, 19, a freshman at USC, Junior’s alma mater. “But I’m not an adult. I need to get my education. If there’s some way to keep it going, to run it properly and professionally, we’re all for it.”

In the meantime, the foundation continues to accept donations. Pro Football Hall of Fame running back Marshall Faulk, the new host of the 15th Celebrity Championship golf tournament at La Costa Resort and Spa, May 17-19, has taken the reins from quarterbacks Stan Humphries and Drew Brees. Faulk has selected the Faulk and Seau foundations as the event’s charitable beneficiaries.

Last December, in memory of his friend and former Chargers teammate, Brees honored a commitment to support two charities that were special to Seau: He donated $55,000 from the Brees Dream Foundation to the Miracle League of San Diego and to the Oceanside High School Athletic Department.

The Miracle League will use the donation to upgrade the fields and support operations while Oceanside High will use the money to improve the athletic training room, the weight room and the conditioning facility.

“The easiest thing is to give money, but there’s no connection,” said Larry Perondi, the superintendent of the Oceanside Unified School District. “People give, and what we really want is their time and their connection. Junior was all about making an intense, lasting connection. His message was, ‘I’m from Oceanside. I’m an Oceanside kid. If you work hard, you can do it, too.’ ”

Personal involvement

Even before he had played his first snap in the NFL, Seau already was focused on helping the youth of San Diego. Don Montamble, who was Seau’s varsity basketball coach his senior year at Oceanside High and later became a mentor and friend, said when Seau left USC after his junior season to enter the 1990 NFL Draft, he inquired about ways that he could help his fellow Oceanside kids.

“I remember him asking, ‘What do you need for your program? I’ll write you a check,’ ” Montamble said. “I told him, ‘No, there will be time when I’ll need your support, and I’ll let you know.’

“The next season, I had a young group of athletes on the team, and we were struggling. We were playing in a Christmas tournament in Chula Vista. I called up Junior and said, ‘I need you to do something. … We play at 3 p.m. today. Come to the locker room at 2:30 and talk to the team.’ He said, ‘OK!’

“He explained to the guys what it meant to put on basketball jerseys with Oceanside on the chest and all of the days he played. He challenged them to live up to the legacy of the program. I asked for his help, for his high school team, and he did it, no questions asked.”

But Seau did not stop there. He asked Montamble what else he could do for Oceanside High. “I said, ‘Put your money into scholarships,’ ” Montamble recalled. “I said, ‘Give kids something that can set them up in life.’ He understood that for so many Oceanside kids, nobody in their families had gone to college, and they couldn’t grasp the idea.

“He said, ‘How do I go about it?’ I said, ‘I’ll help you with Oceanside High.’ And then it grew to the whole city.”

“He taught the kids, ‘If you give the hard work and commitment, I’ll help you with the tools,’ ” Montamble said. “He wasn’t an athlete to write a check. He was a person who got personally involved in everything he did.”

In 1992, Seau and his then-wife, Gina, launched the Junior Seau Foundation, and they ran it together, out of a guest room in their La Mesa home, and the project became their labor of love.

“From the beginning, Junior said, ‘I want to do something for the youth of San Diego,’ ” Gina said. “He remembered growing up in Oceanside, not having the advantages other kids had, the support he got from the Boys and Girls Club of Oceanside, and what it felt like inside when someone cared.”

The day they sent out a news release announcing the creation of the foundation, Junior and Gina received more than 70 messages on their answering machine.

“We were so excited that people were excited about the idea,” Gina said. “They left messages asking, ‘What can we do to help?’ The community rallied. Everybody wanted to be affiliated with him.”

Within weeks, they had signed up sponsors and held their first fundraiser, a golf tournament in Poway. Their first foundation donation was to the Vista Hill Foundation, which improves the quality of life of individuals and families by providing mental and behavior health, educational and social services. Over the next few years, the Seaus donated to a wide variety of children’s causes — from children’s hospitals and child abuse prevention facilities to helping to underwrite the Christmas pageant for the children from Father Joe’s Villages.

In 1994, Seau was honored as the NFL’s Man of the Year for his philanthropic efforts.

Philanthropic power

By 1999, Seau decided he wanted to expand the reach of his foundation because he felt as if he had so much more to give. He hired Bette Hoffman to be his executive director. She was a local dynamo who’d worked for the United Way of San Diego County and had started her own consulting business specializing in assisting nonprofits with fundraising.

“Junior and I were a good team,” Hoffman said. “We started with a blank page, and we brainstormed. ‘How do we make this the best, and most impactful, foundation possible?’ ”

Together, they met with dozens of noted San Diego sports, business, political and community leaders and built one of the most powerful boards of directors of any foundation in the city. They brought aboard major corporate sponsors. Hoffman taught Seau about the “four R’s” of fundraising: “research, romance, request and recognition,” and he was a quick learner.

Hoffman drew up a detailed timeline for each year, as well as for each event. Analyzing the timeline, they decided to move the foundation’s annual golf tournament from June to March to increase the participation of NFL superstars, and with the help of corporate sponsor Nordstrom, Hoffman transformed the fundraising dinner and its sports memorabilia auction into an elegant event.

Seau was involved in every aspect of the tournament, which grew to 800 people at the dinner, including writing the script for the evening’s presentations (which he memorized), choosing the music and reviewing the seating assignments at the dinner tables (which he also memorized). He insisted on having a detailed rehearsal the day before and a sound check the morning of.

“Junior loved the foundation; it was his heart,” Hoffman said. “When I first started working for him, he was so excited about the board meetings, the concept of going out and asking people for money. He was so good at it. His mind never stopped racing with ideas. It quickly became apparent to me that we needed to raise more money because he wanted to do more and more things.”

Eventually, a fall fundraiser, the Teammates Luncheon, was added. It also grew to 800 attendees and raised about $200,000 annually.

And, last August, these fundraisers allowed the foundation to award $5,000 scholarships to 25 college-bound students.

“Junior was the heart and soul, and Bette was the brains,” said Yahnke, who helped select the scholarship recipients from 400 applicants. “He didn’t have to have a foundation to make himself look like a star. He did it because he loved San Diego and he loved helping kids. The happiest I ever saw him was at these events.”

As on one Saturday morning in October 2011, when Seau took the mound for the Miracle League on Celebrity Pitcher Day. He knew the children needed at least several pitches to make contact with the ball, so he slowly worked his way into the game, lobbing the first pitch softly over the middle of the plate.

“But the kid tees off and hits it a mile, right over Junior’s head,” Engel said. “Junior’s jaw dropped. When the kid reached home plate, Junior engulfed him. He laughed and said, ‘Buddy, how did you have the nerve to do this to me?’ It was so charming.”

The home run barrage did not stop there. The next batter hit the ball a mile, too. And so did the batter after that.

“Junior got rocked that day,” Engel said. “He was all smiles. The kids were all smiles. He was just so giving to everyone on the field. He stayed around afterward and talked to the kids. He wrapped them up in his arms. He was so gracious with his time. He was so loving with the kids. It was a day none of us will ever forget.”

Magical moments linger

Seau was a master at creating unforgettable moments.

Like at Thanksgiving when for 15 years, Seau opened the doors of his restaurant to those less fortunate, serving meals to more than 700 clients of nonprofit agencies, including homeless shelters and rehab facilities, victims of domestic violence, military families and wounded warriors.

“Junior posed for pictures, signed autographs, made sure to talk to each and every person,” Allison Yahnke said. “He was in his element. Those who came got so much more than a Thanksgiving dinner. They got a lifetime experience.”

Like at Christmas time when for 18 years, Seau teamed up with Target and more than 250 local professional and college athletes for Shop with a Jock, taking 250 underprivileged children from all of the Boys and Girls Clubs in San Diego County shopping for Christmas gifts. In order to be considered for the shopping spree, Seau insisted that each child write an essay explaining for whom he or she would like to buy gifts, and why, and the winning essayists each were given a $100 gift certificate from the foundation to shop for their loved ones.

“Thousands of kids, at the most impressionable ages, are learning the most valuable life lessons — that the holidays are about giving, that life is about giving, not receiving,” said former Chargers special teams star Hank Bauer, the team’s longtime radio analyst. “And without the foundation or Junior, that opportunity most likely would never be provided. These lessons are tangible for these kids — they will take them going forward for the rest of their lives — and as the tentacles grow outward, hundreds or thousands of lives will hopefully be affected.”

Seau’s ex-wife, Gina, his four children and his closest friends all said that Seau believed his calling in life was to give back to his community, to help make people’s lives better and lend a hand to those less fortunate. The rewards he received from opening his heart to others, they said, far exceeded the awards he earned on the football field.

Those he touched believe that he changed their lives forever.

Toki Lewis was a star running back and linebacker at Oceanside High School until he broke his ankle in the first scrimmage before his senior season in 2004. That spring, he received a $5,000 scholarship, becoming the first in his family to attend college.

“I was invited to the Scholars of Excellence ceremony, a dinner at Seau’s,” Lewis said. “Junior came in and talked to us about goals, and later, he went around the room and talked to each one of us individually. To have Junior say, ‘We want to help you be successful when you get to the next level,’ well, at that moment, everything changes. His belief in me was an enormous inspiration.”

Soon after, Lewis became a volunteer for the foundation. He graduated from the University of San Diego with a bachelor’s degree in business administration. Today, at 26, he is a product line manager for a division of Teamwork Athletic Apparel in San Marcos. And he remains influenced by the lessons Seau taught him.

“He and I grew up in the same neighborhood,” Lewis said. “We went to the same middle school and the same high school. He taught me dreams are achievable. He showed me the importance of treating every person as a friend. He was never too big or too important to care about others.”

Those Seau life lessons permeate throughout Oceanside. To experience his aura, join the 80 to 100 people on the beach in front of Seau’s former house on The Strand at 6 a.m. Saturday mornings, from May until July. Be ready to challenge your body, and your mind, to the toughest boot camp ever: The Junior Seau 55 Workout.

Twelve years ago, Seau phoned Paul Paopao, his best friend from elementary school, and shared his concept of beach boot camps as a way to help Oceanside kids, who couldn’t afford personal trainers or private coaches, to advance to more elite athletic levels.

“Give me 10 of your football players,” Seau told Paopao, then working at Oceanside’s Boys and Girls Club. “Well, if you’re a kid, and you can work out with Paul Paopao at 6 a.m., would you go? No. But if I told you that you were going to work out alongside Junior Seau, what would you do? All 10 came, early.”

Before you knew it, dozens of kids showed up on the beach. “Grandmas and grandpas were dropping them off at 5 a.m.,” Paopao said. Soon, Seau and Paopao were holding boot camps four days a week from March until July. Seau’s grueling regimen was old school, an hour without water breaks: running sprints and long distances in the sand, running up and down stairs, firefighter carries, bear crawls and wheelbarrow carries in the sand.

Eventually, parents and professionals joined the boot camps, and the group grew so large that Seau and Paopao enlisted 15 to 20 volunteer coaches to help. Seau worked out right alongside everybody else, and the boot camps always were free.

Afterward, Seau brought everyone together for prayers and fellowship. He struck up conversations with the boot campers, asked each of them how they were doing, and often handed Paopao cash to give to those kids whose families were struggling. At the end of the summer, he would bring in a truck from Seau’s to serve breakfast to the entire group.

To a person, the boot campers felt a strong connection to Seau. And they still do.

Paopao’s son, Israel (Tofi) Paopao, 18, the starting quarterback at Oceanside High who led the Pirates to two San Diego Section championships in three years, said he wouldn’t have excelled in football without his Uncle Junior’s support. This fall, he will play football at Florida International University.

“I’ll always remember the things he taught me, first and foremost, ‘Whatever effort you put into something is what you’ll get out of it,’” Israel said.

Matthew Segi, a boot camper who now volunteers as a coach each Saturday morning, said Seau forever is in his heart.

“When we were training, Junior would tell us, ‘Bring someone else with you,’ and I’d think, ‘I’m dying here, how can I possibly worry about me and somebody else?’ ” Segi said. “But that wasn’t the point. It was about motivating and influencing others. Go out of your way to help someone. What’s the benefit of doing only for yourself, if you can’t share it?

“That’s the Junior Seau way: He has brought everyone with him. He went out of his way to bless them, so they’ll return the deed and bless someone else.”

Because of Seau, Segi, 22, has chosen life and career paths that emphasize helping others. He is working in the after-school program at an Oceanside elementary school, is volunteering as a youth leader in a local church and is studying to be a youth pastor.

“Junior did simple deeds,” Segi said. “He blessed people immeasurably. They were touched by him. They were moved by him. That was his foundation.

“His death has left a physical loss, but I don’t believe it has left a hole. He’s still working his magic through others he touched. Those he influenced still continue to do his work. One does a good deed, the next does one, and it all comes back to the first deed done. Junior’s still very much alive today, living through others.”

Jill Lieber Steeg is a San Diego writer. Read her 2012 special report on the life and death of Junior Seau at utsandiego.com/seau