Muswell Hill Peloton’s recent Saturday morning outings around Regents Park have taken place without The Wattmeister’s attendance. In the interim, Iron Mike, Dingle Dave, Long Tom and The Lion King have been carving up the sprint honours.

Alas, he has been suffering from acute inflammation of the ego, which in extreme cases can lead to delusional episodes, obsession with oneself, and severe constipation….(please note the Oxford comma).

Fortunately, The Wattmeister has only suffered with two of these three symptoms.

In order to prevent further deterioration, the medical team at his professional team, SudoCreme4SagaSprinters, have appointed a new doctor. Dr.Ken Acort has recently been hired to bring the malady under control.

Under normal circumstances, The Wattmeister trains and races under a strict “needles only” policy. However, one of his favourite sayings is, “..only dead fish swim the with current…”. so, as more and more athletes across all sports have their ‘special’ methods revealed, Dr. Ken recommends that his preventative medicine should be taken via suppository which can be administered by anyone.

Therefore, on behalf of the team, we are pleased to announce that despite some side effects, (The Wattmeister has lost weight, gained muscle and seems to recover quicker than ever before from intense physical efforts), Dr. Ken Acort’s remedy has met with a measure of success.

He still spends an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror, but is no longer delusional, (well, only mildly).

However, the wait for a brown package intensifies with each passing day.