When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.

omg what in the world posseses people to say things like that? i think
"is his father black" is slightly more appropriate.... but still irrelevant to her as it is none of her business. you could have said hmm i guess your right, now i can cross all the white guys off my list that narrows it down some! thanks lady.

Oh yeah, and my MIL also believes that cereal in a bottle before bed helps them sleep...never mind that I told her several times we are strictly BFing for at least 6 months...is this cereal in a bottle a generational thing or what??

I had a discussion like this not to long ago with a group of older women I know well. I was feeding ds cereal with a spoon and 4 out of the 6 women said I should put it in his bottle. I politley responded, "By putting cereal in the baby's bottle can create obesity and is not recommended by our physician." They pretty much left me alone after that. I get that quite a bit and I just say I prefer to feed him with a spoon. I do agree that is a generational thing.

My best friend in the whole world is a guy and both of us have new babies - mine is 4 months old and his is 7 weeks. I'm totally AP and natural-living and he's about as mainstream as you can get. It makes it hard for us to discuss our babies because we don't agree on anything

Last night he called me to talk and it was about 2am there (he lives in TX and I live in HI). I figured he was up feeding the baby and asked how his son was doing and he said "sleeping." I said "awww, you're holding him while he sleeps! So cute!" :

Then he said "no, he's asleep in his crib in his room. I just have to stay up in case he cries." Come to find out, they can't hear the baby crying at night until he goes into hysterics and he wakes a lot during the night and starts crying, so one of them has to stay awake ALL NIGHT LONG in case he wakes up.

I sympathized with him and said "you should take him to bed with you, you'll get LOADS more sleep! My daughter hasn't kept me up even once since she was born. I could hear him rolling his eyes at me and he said "yeah, well, this is what works for us."

I thought to myself "well, obviously it ISN'T working for you if you have to take turns staying awake all night long for when the baby wakes up!"

But I'm a good friend and kept my mouth shut.

Then he went on to tell me that it takes forever to get him back to sleep because his girlfriend didn't want to nurse and they can't let him go to sleep with a bottle, so they have to lay him in his crib to cry until he falls asleep.

I said "oh, well I just nurse A to sleep every time, so it's really easy."

He laughed at me like I was an idiot and asked "aren't you worried that that's going to become a habit?"

I just laughed and said "no, I really don't think she's going to be in high school and still need to nurse herself to sleep."

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

Then he said "no, he's asleep in his crib in his room. I just have to stay up in case he cries." Come to find out, they can't hear the baby crying at night until he goes into hysterics and he wakes a lot during the night and starts crying, so one of them has to stay awake ALL NIGHT LONG in case he wakes up.

Dude! Get a baby monitor, for crying out loud! Or move the crib to your bedroom! This is not rocket surgery.

Your friend isn't thinking very clearly, is he? His girlfriend seems quite selfish to me as well. She gets to have a full night's sleep. SHE should be the one doing the really "hard" thinking like "hmm, a monitor."

Your friend isn't thinking very clearly, is he? His girlfriend seems quite selfish to me as well. She gets to have a full night's sleep. SHE should be the one doing the really "hard" thinking like "hmm, a monitor."

They take turns but yeah, a baby monitor might help. Of course, I didn't go into it with him. It could be that neither of them wakes up to the sound of the monitor or that by the time it does wake them up, he's already upset. They formula feed so they may not think it's worth it to wake up to crying and then have to make a bottle up with baby still crying. I didn't ask.

Mama to a bright 5 y/o girl and a beautiful boy born 03/10/12 Loving unschooling, 2xand natural living in Hawaii.

New story as of yesterday. MIL and FIL, without checking with me first, gave the babe fortified cereal while they were babysitting. We got into a fight about it. Not even regarding the fact that she ate the food (though I want her only eating the fresh homemade food I prepare), but the fact that they told me she did NOT eat it (despite the fact that the package was open...what, did they eat it?!?!) and then slipped up in conversation and admitted she did eat it. I mean, come on, you need to be honest with parents about what their kids are eating...! Anyway, when we got talking, MIL told me she's very uncomfortable with the babe's diet and therefore decided to "remedy it" by feeding her the cereal. (Hmmm, let's think here, if you're uncomfortable with how I'm feeding her, TALK to me about it...don't change/supplement her diet behind my back!) Anyway, the point of this post:

MIL thinks that my 8 mos old's diet should be based on fortified cereal and summplemented with a few fresh fruits/veggies!?!?! Huh! Since when is it preferable to get your nutrients from fake food!?!?!

My normally sane and rational MIL has gotten after me about co-sleeping lately. She insists that it "infringes on the marriage". Sorry MIL, but my (very solid and happy) marriage is not going to break down because of our sleeping arrangements. And anyway, since when is my marriage all about sleep? I would hope not! And does that mean that my marriage is also damaged by the cats sleeping on the bed?

They take turns...They formula feed so they may not think it's worth it to wake up to crying and then have to make a bottle up with baby still crying. I didn't ask.

Taking turns is better, I was thinking he was sitting up every night. Hang on... formula means they've got to make bottles. Meaning they go to the kitchen. Which is probably no where near either their bedroom or the baby's room. For the love of... I wash my hands of them. I'm exhausted just thinking of it.

Puts a whole new twist on the "but we need alone time" argument against co-sleeping, doesn't it?

At which my MIL piped up with: "Well, if dog saliva can heal wounds, I don't see why its bad for him", and then - THEN: "Its not like Daisy[the dog] licks her butt before she chews on her toys".

Um, dogs always lick their butts. It's a scientific fact observable by watching any and every dog for a period of time. Doy
I hate the "But a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's." Umm, I don't lick my butt, so I don't know how on earth that is remotely possible. I know we have lots of (good) bacteria in our mouths, but it's what is naturally supposed to be there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by riverside knitter

She also tried to take Nora out of my arms more than once in addition to constantly asking to hold her when I was in the middle of nursing her.

While you were nursing?! :

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Lilya

That is why I tell people that there are a lot of common issues, most of which are overcomable with a little bit of knowledge, but that particular type of knowledge, that used to be passed down from generation to generation, is largely forgotten due to several generations in a row of formula feeding. So I tell them that if they have any difficulty to call me and I will help locate info and experts to help them fix the problems.

My step-mother says the same thing to us, that dd should be in her own bed. But when I ask her how long did her dd sleep with her, while my dad had to sleep in the other room? It's not the same according to her. Well, no it's not b/c we ALL share the bed. I don't understand why mil's and other mother figures feel that what they did was ok but what we do to benefit our children is so wrong. And why do they feel they have to fix, what they think are problems?! It's different times and we are raising our children differently than 30 years ago.

And anyway, since when is my marriage all about sleep? I would hope not!

I think she's thinking it's all about sex, but who has sex all night long IRL? And her opinion you can't/shouldn't have sex with a baby in the bed with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GathererGirl

And does that mean that my marriage is also damaged by the cats sleeping on the bed?

My husband says yes our marriage would be--but he doesn't like cats.
On another note, there's a marriage forum I read and someone posted about their pet yowling and being traumatized when it saw them DTD.

Me: I don't lke the fact that DS went nearly 6 hours w/o eating today... he slept the whole time and I know it was because of the heat
MIL: you should give him a bottle of water since he was probably dehydrated.

This is after REPEATED conversations on how babies do NOT need water, and the fact that the formula he gets is mixed with ... WATER!!!!!

I've told her ds won't be getting water till he's older and she tells me to give him water.... he is 3.5 weeks old for heaven sakes! This is the woman who wants me to leave my son with her now... if she's not going to listen to my wishes and constantly tell me to do things that are the exact opposite of what I plan to do, tell me why I would leave him with her... she'd prolly give him cereal or something NOW!!!

Me: I don't lke the fact that DS went nearly 6 hours w/o eating today... he slept the whole time and I know it was because of the heat
MIL: you should give him a bottle of water since he was probably dehydrated.

This is after REPEATED conversations on how babies do NOT need water, and the fact that the formula he gets is mixed with ... WATER!!!!!

I've told her ds won't be getting water till he's older and she tells me to give him water.... he is 3.5 weeks old for heaven sakes! This is the woman who wants me to leave my son with her now... if she's not going to listen to my wishes and constantly tell me to do things that are the exact opposite of what I plan to do, tell me why I would leave him with her... she'd prolly give him cereal or something NOW!!!

Actually, giving a baby as young as your son a bottle of just water can be very harmful to their kidneys. You might point that out to her next time she recommends a bottle of water. Little babies do not use water the same way adult bodies do.

I was in the library the other day. My dd was returning books and there were two women, a mother and daughter, with a 4 day old baby. The baby's mom wasn't sitting with them. They started talking to me about my 6 month old. The babies G'ma said, "Let me ask you something, when did you start to give your baby water?" I told her I haven't given her water at all yet. She looked thoroughly offended and kind of pouted while the baby's aunt kept talking. LOL, I think that she thought that she was going to have some ammo to keep on insisting that the baby needs water. "See, that girl started her baby on water when she was blah, blah, you should too!! Bummer, I ruined it for her.

When he was about 6 weeks old we were in the grocery store and a woman came up to me and cooed over how cute he was. Then she asked me "Have you considered the possibility that his father is black? He really looks biracial to me." I replied "Actually I KNOW his father's black", and she must have suddenly realized that she had just implied that I had slept around so much that I couldn't keep track of all the possible fathers because she started babbling about how "of course you know" and got out of there FAST.

ROFL! Okay, that's hilarious. (Offensive, but hilarious!). I bet she had her foot in her mouth for days.

I was grocery shopping when DS was around 5 months old. He was in his car seat, glazed over and about to fall asleep. An old man came over to look at my son and tried in vain to get his attention. The man then looked at me and told me that my son has very poor vision and can't focus on things. Obviously at that age he could. I was a little stunned and trying to be polite and get on with my shopping so I said "actually he's thinking about taking a nap right now." It might not have come out perfectly but I assumed the man would understand that DS was half asleep and not focusing on a whole lot more than the back of his eye lids at that point in time. The man snorted and said "yeah - thinking about it" and then walked away muttering like I'm some idiot who doesn't know the first thing about their child's ability to see clearly.

Sometimes I really dread going shopping because it seems like a lot of the people who feel the need to make a comment are the ones who are better off not saying anything at all.

-Just try the bottle, you can't BF him forever
-You need to put him down (usually when DS is fussy, and that's only when he's hungry/tired)
-You should give him a piece of bread or rice cereal to fill him up so you dont have to bf him so much, (DS is only BF, he's tried fruit a few times & throws it up)
-You HAVE TO HAVE ... (a carriage, pacifier, crib, swing, walker, etc.)
-Aren't you afraid your going to roll over on him while sleeping
-Is that legal? (usually refers to UAHB)
-It's not SAFE to be uncircumsized
-You need to have him watch tv - or - just put him in front of the tv so you can do what u need to do.

I had a discussion like this not to long ago with a group of older women I know well. I was feeding ds cereal with a spoon and 4 out of the 6 women said I should put it in his bottle. I politley responded, "By putting cereal in the baby's bottle can create obesity and is not recommended by our physician." They pretty much left me alone after that. I get that quite a bit and I just say I prefer to feed him with a spoon. I do agree that is a generational thing.

I don't think it's a generational thing. I have friends in their 20's who put cereal in the night time bottle so the baby could sleep through the night. Even women who's mom's were not even in the picture. They just figure out that it keeps the baby full for a longer stretch of time and therefore they can sleep longer.

We were over at my sister and bil's house the other day and bil goes to give ds a cup with something in it.

Me: What is that?
Bil: pop. (soda, whatever you want to call it lol)
Me: Noo
Bil: But he wants it, he brought me the pop bottle
Me: He brings me lots of things he's not suppose to have but I don't give it to him just b/c he "wants" them
Bil: Oh! You're no fun!

wth? If he had brough him a can of beer would he have opened that b/c he wanted it? oi! And everytime we go over there they always give him food without asking me first, it's so annoying.

We were over at my sister and bil's house the other day and bil goes to give ds a cup with something in it.

Me: What is that?
Bil: pop. (soda, whatever you want to call it lol)
Me: Noo
Bil: But he wants it, he brought me the pop bottle
Me: He brings me lots of things he's not suppose to have but I don't give it to him just b/c he "wants" them
Bil: Oh! You're no fun!

wth? If he had brough him a can of beer would he have opened that b/c he wanted it? oi! And everytime we go over there they always give him food without asking me first, it's so annoying.

this makes me think of how people claim the baby is ready for solids because "he was watching me eat."

my kids look at my car keys when i wave them around - doesn't mean he's ready to drive!

oh I got a good one I was at the mall the other day and a lady stopped me and said the I was going to snap DS's neck if I continued to carry him on my back in the ergo he was asleep and his head was tilting back but it was still supported and I'm very aware of his head and walk slightly forward so that its not flopping back besides he has neck control he 7 months I told the lady this and she then in a very nice way said she was an RN and that was going to snap my babies neck my brother who was with me was very irritated and was like she needs to mind her own business, it didnt offend me really she was very nice about it!

oh I got a good one I was at the mall the other day and a lady stopped me and said the I was going to snap DS's neck if I continued to carry him on my back in the ergo he was asleep and his head was tilting back but it was still supported and I'm very aware of his head and walk slightly forward so that its not flopping back besides he has neck control he 7 months I told the lady this and she then in a very nice way said she was an RN and that was going to snap my babies neck my brother who was with me was very irritated and was like she needs to mind her own business, it didnt offend me really she was very nice about it!

Yes I can imagine all those neck snapping injuries from babywearing are flooding the ER

-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)