My Continuing Adventures in Awkward Hugging

I’m at a bar, seated on a high stool. My heels are resting on the top rungs of the stool, so my knees are pretty much at waist level. I mention this detail now, because it’s important to understand how my body is positioned at this point.

A buddy of mine walks in and sees me, so he comes up to say hi. No problem so far. I’ve known him for a while, and our friendship has definitely progressed to the level of man-hug. I totally know what to do here.

Well, I’m too lazy to actually stand up off the stool when he comes up to hug me, so instead, I stay seated, rotate my body, and slide forward to hug him back. And being that I feel so confident in my hugging abilities now, I lean in and give him the manliest man-hug my inner man can man up.

We finish our hug, and that’s when I realize that, because of the way I had been seated, I just gave my buddy a full-on spread-legged straddle hug.