The Game Plan: How We Went from Two Incomes to One

When I decided to leave the classroom after ten years of teaching, I knew the hardest job I would ever do was just beginning. You see, I wanted badly to be home with my children who (since six weeks old) spent about ten hours a day in daycare. I wanted to have more time for my home, for my faith, and for the many other “I wish I could haves” in life that I seemed to keep putting off.

My husband has a decent job, but by no means can he support our family of four (plus a dog!) on his own. So we carefully concocted a plan of how this would all work. How could I leave the traditional work field and and how could we survive as a one-income family?

Well surprisingly, it was possible. We had to roll our sleeves up and make some tough choices, but in the end it was worth it!

I think you might be surprised how truly simple it is if you are willing to do a little hard work.

1. Chart what you will SAVE.

This part of the process is the best way to start because it is very encouraging. Make a chart of how much money you can save by going to one income. Will you no longer have to buy daily work lunches? Will you no longer need to purchase work uniforms or expensive business attire? Will you save on gas from not having to drive 25 miles to work?

For us, we not only saved on all of these expenses, but would no longer be paying nearly $1,000 a month for daycare. That was huge.

2. Chart what you will GAIN.

Next, chart what you will gain. For us it was more time as a family, no more dependance on daycare, time to cook healthier dinners, to be able to stay home with sick children, plus so much more.

While I miss the holiday parties with my classroom children, I am so excited to be helping at the classroom parties of my own children!

Chart these things and see how great it makes you feel and motivates you.

3. Start cutting.

The first thing that we needed to do was start looking at our expenses and making some drastic cuts.

Extras and little conveniences were the first to go. No more cable movie rentals, no more high definition channels, no more extras tied into our cell phone plans. We cut back on dining out, our clothing budget, kept our thermostat at a cooler temperature and just got use to wearing sweaters, plus a lot more.

Try not to look at this step as painful, look at it as eliminating the extra and unnecessary to make room for what you really want — more time with your family!

4. Find ways to supplement the one income.

Perhaps you have enjoyed cosmetics and would want to start doing home parties? Perhaps you can watch a neighbor’s child one day a week? There are plenty of ways to add a few hundred extra dollars to your monthly income.

I have been able to help out a few days a month doing some online research for a company, as well as babysit for a friend. I also take online surveys to earn gift cards that come in handy during the holidays. In fact, I was so proud when over $100 worth of gifts was purchased for family this year using gift cards I had earned!

When you find ways to supplement, the extra income helps with groceries, birthday gifts, and other odds and ends that pop up during the month.

5. Sell what you don’t need.

Living on one income can be scary, especially if you don’t have an emergency fund. Create one by selling items you no longer need. This can be clothing, jewelry, toys, everything!

Clothing can be taken to consignment stores for instant cash, as can kid’s clothing and toys. Jewelry if broken or outdated can be sold for scrap. Other usable or collectible items can be sold online though auctions such as eBay, and handmade goods can be sold through online venues such as Etsy.

I put a few things a month on eBay to generate extra funds, and it works well. People have bought everything from an old coat I had to an unopened bottle of high end facial cleanser.

Etsy is a great place to sell handmade ornaments and vintage items I have. It is quite fun and satisfying to turn our junk into cash and build an emergency fund should an appliance go out or an emergency pop up.

Remember, living on one income takes work and determination. It can seem daunting at first, but in the end the gains are huge.

Your friends may not quite understand, and you may feel frustrated — I heard many comments like, “It must be nice to not have to work and live off of your husband,” and things of that nature. There seems to be this impression that by leaving my traditional job I now spend my days at Starbucks. What they didn’t see was that I spent the previous evening cutting out coupons with the kiddos and stitching up some fun old fabric into curtains so we wouldn’t have to buy new ones.

The reality is you will never work harder or have to be more prepared and organized. But in the end, it is a decision that is up to each individual and can be very rewarding!

Tosh, aka Super Coupon Lady, teaches others how to coupon easily, save money, and score freebies. You can follow her recipes, frugal tips, style ideas and more on her blog and on Pinterest!

Comments

ah yes “the must be nice” comments, I have reached the age where all my friends who stayed home until their kids reached public school age have all returned to work and I have stayed home to homeschool. Every time I put up a facebook status “just enjoyed a great run” I get a “must be nice to run whenever you want too”. I try not to take it personally because I know I work hard, but it does make me feel guilty at times until I remember they take time to run too, its just at 5 a.m. when I am busy working on my blog, or after 6pm when I am working on handiwork that I sell. I too squeeze in my runs but it is around my children’s school schedule, and other family needs and not a 9 to 5 traditional job.

I’m getting more and more careful about commenting on anything on Facebook (unless I am being thoroughly positive), just for this reason. I’m realizing that I almost never know what the context is behind a person’s status, etc. Why do we feel so free to say negative things so quickly?

This is a really good article. Although I can’t be a stay-at-home mom, I envy those that do.

I have a question, however. Do you find you work as many hours from home doing all the extra jobs, coupon clipping, and frugal activities as you did when you worked outside the home? I truly don’t know how some of my friends keep everything organized with all their odd jobs and staying home.

I left the full-time workforce in 2008 when my second child was born. Since then, I’ve build up a number of extra jobs that *pretty much* make up for the income that we lost, minus the childcare expenses. I now teach a my children’s preschool, babysit for a couple other kiddos while their parents work fulltime, write a blog, and teach art classes out of my art studio in my home.

I would estimate that all those little jobs easily total the same 50 hours a week that I used to work. The difference is…my kids are involved in all of my current jobs. I work around their schedule and their need; I’m their primary caregiver, which is what I wanted. I really enjoy the flexibility and the ability to be my own “boss”. The drawback is that it takes more planning to juggle all the little jobs than it did to just do one job!

I think that in my situation, the work load (amount) didn’t change…just the type of work!

I second Allison’s comment. I do still work, it’s just around the schedules of my husband and children. We couldn’t do it on just one income either so we got creative on when I work. I’m sure Crystal would agree that she, too, works quite a few hours but they are hours that she works around family and their needs. And, importantly for me, when someone needs me I am able to be there for them. What is nice about many of the non-traditional jobs that moms take on is that you can actually enjoy your work because you don’t feel guilty leaving your family and many times are able to work along side them or complete tasks during naps or in the evening. You say you can’t be a stay-at-home mom but maybe you just need to reconsider what that means for many women which is staying-at-home-to-work. Best of luck!

I quit my job 16 months ago to be a SAHM. My kids are ages 6, 2.5 and I have a newborn baby.

I do some freelance writing, about 2-3 hours per day as naptimes allow. I earn about $20 per hour on average. Last year I earned enough to put in the max contribution to my Roth IRA, pay for swimming and gymnastics lessons for the kids, pay for birthday and holiday gifts, school supplies, our rare meal in a restaurant and my own hobbies.

I also do the other living-on-a-limited-family-income things like couponing, sale shopping, garage sale-ing, cutting our kids’ and my DH’s hair, cooking from scratch, etc, etc, etc but I consider that my “job” as an at-home parent.

This really puts things into perspective for me. My son, who will be 4 months next week, is just a growing each day and I don’t want to miss anything! I have a lot of debt, so right now I keep telling myself my job is important so that I can try and pay most of it off, but I know that someday I will be able to stay at home!!!

I don’t hear the “must be nice” comments. Weird. The majority of moms here work of course – I would think most do – but we have quite a few SAHM’s here in St. Louis to get together and make the time for playdates and such.
Funny since this used to be the norm not too long ago.

I too made sacrifices to stay home when our kids were little and I thought that it was well worth it! My children are middle teenagers now and they still remember all the picnic lunches at parks (packed because its cheap) and “lazy” mornings not having to rush out the door. We may not have had the fanciest house or the latest model car, but it was really nice to know that I’ll be able to stay home the next day when I’m rocking a feverish child at 2am!

Amen to that! I want to stay at home with my girl so bad. I just had to call in to work today because she had spiked a fever of over 103 in the middle of the night. Her Grandma does watch her everyday and she does go to 1/2 day preschool 4 days a week as well. We pay for preschool AND we pay Grandma to take care of her. The cost is astronomical BUT that is not my issue. My issue is running off to work when my baby is sick and leaving her with someone else. Even if it is Grandma, I am unable to make it right in my mind and mostly my heart. My value is FAMILY not work so what the heck am I doing leaving my sick child with someone else? I am so struggling with this right now. I teach public school and have done so for 10 years as well. My prayer is at the end of the school year I can non-renew my contract and devote all my attention to my family. I have been praying about this for a long time.

Best of luck to you, Deana! It can be done, if it’s a priority. I quit work just before my first son was born, and I have never regretted it. We lost 45% of our income, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. You really do save a ton of money by having a parent at home.

This is a great article. I have been primarily a SAHM for the past year now. I was a family assistant for a family for 5 years before that and worked a lot of hours; thus earning about half of our income. It has been hard to go down to half of what we made before having a child but between couponing and doing a bit of babysitting, we are making it work. Now I just need to learn to trim some of our expenses.
Thanks for the encouragement. It is easy for me to feel like because I do not have a full time job outside of the home, I am putting an extra burden on my husband. It is so worthwhile to get to stay at home with our one year old son!

When calculating the savings, don’t forget the taxes you won’t be paying if you only have one income. I think almost every family can choose to go to one income if they are truly dedicated to it. It definitely requires extra effort, but for me it has been worth it!

I was going to mention the taxes also. We recalculated thinking the change to our withholding was too much. It’s nice because the tax change gives us more wiggle room, since we planned based on my husband’s take home with both of us working.

So true! My husband is in the military and frequently deployed which lowers our AGI. I looked at returning back to work (we have 2 kids) as a Nurse Practitioner, but realized after childcare, the “extras” and loss in taxes I would be taking home only 1/4 of my income. NOT worth it with him being gone so much. He loves that I stay at home. Our whole family is able to flex around his schedule :).

If there are no consignment sales events then yes go to consignment stores. I don’t recommend since you’ll pay their overhead. They pay you 30% and they keep 70%. Whereas if you sell at a consignment event its the other way around and you end up making more. Go to http://www.consignmentmommies.com to find a sales event in your area. You can also go to http://www.jbfsale.com.

I am so excited that effective February 1st I will be a SAHM! I have a 4 1/2 year-old-daughter and am expecting a son in June.

In my career (I’m a CPA) I make more money than my husband. Given my accounting background I have, of course, “run the numbers” and know we can make this work. My husband is a little nervous about being the sole provider, but honestly I think it’ll be good for him to have something he’s 100% responsible for.

I may not bring home a paycheck in a few weeks, but I use Swagbucks, I am a member of PineCone Research, I do Jingit, I participate in as many rewards clubs as I can. I do contribute and will continue to contribute my “earnings” from these programs/clubs to my family. I agree that these are good ways to buy essentials. We use my Swagbucks to buy the Flintstone’s Complete vitamins from Amazon.com for my daughter. I used the remainder my family Christmas presents this year. I spent very little out of pocket on my daughter, husband or my nieces and nephews.

I am looking to clear out some of the clutter we have in our house. Some will be sold, some will be donated and some will be given to friends who can put our items to use. In addition, given that we’re expecting #2, I began scouring Craig’s List for a new dresser and headboard for my daughter (she’s in the toddler bed and has the matching dresser right now). We picked up a six drawer nice dresser for $35 this week. It needs a little wood putty, a new coat of paint and possibly some new drawer pulls and will be good as new. My daughter is SO excited to get something “new”.

It’s all in how you look at things. We’ve never had cable; I use Virgin Mobile for my cell phone (hubby’s is paid for by his company – YEAH!); we eat out one meal a week and it is usually to one of about three-four places where we spend $20-25. We both drive older cars – mine is a 2005 with 140,000 miles and his is a 1998 with 230,000 miles (luckily he got a work truck this summer that he drives most of the time).

Anyway, I will stop rambling, but I agree that while it’s not the “norm” anymore, it’s a great thing for you and your family. To be totally honest, I have quite a few friends who are envious that I get to stay at home with my kids. Being super woman is not an easy task and I truly take my hat off to those women who can make it work. I’m not one of them and my family is most important to me. I can always go back to work and make money. I can never get back my kids early years!

You put that beautifully!
No, I guess my only thing with it “being the norm” is that I have read several books this year completely anti -SAHM. It’s sad. I don’t think you can be pro or anti. Just be the best you can be.

The whole book isn’t focused on being anti -sahm, but “Mean Moms Rule” by Denise Shipani (you can see it in the book review on Amazon), “Learned Optimism” by Dr. Martin Seligman (1 paragraph) and “Teach Your Children Well” by Dr. Madeline Levine (1-2 paragraphs). I’ll give Seligman some slack – that book is not new. The other two are brand new book releases and accuse SAHM’s of being very “child-centered” and devoting all their time to children who will grow up thinking the world revolves around them.

This article couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. My DH and I both work full-time. My son (from my previous marriage) grew up with me working full-time entirely, and has never experienced having a SAH parent. We are now expecting our second (my second, DHs first) and were just discussing this last night. I really need to sit down and do a cost/benefit analysis to see if we can do this, as I do not want my children to have to grow up in daycares, public schools, and grandparents’ homes. Thank you for the inspiration to get started on this, we only have three more months before this may become a mandatory requirement. I need to get started!

Our family recently went from 2 incomes to 1 but it was due to my husband experiencing an unexpected lay off. This experience has been challenging but rewarding at the same time. Our situation is temporary, but it has left a permanent impression on us and I have no doubt will have positive effects on our lives well into the future.

Before we got married we decided I would stay home when we had our first baby. We decided to only live off of my husband’s income from the very beginning so that it wouldn’t be a huge lifestyle adjustment when the time came (those were the days of bologna sandwiches, ramen noodles, and a one bedroom apartment) . Money was tight and we were young. I had about $18,000 in student loans which was our only debt, so we used my income the first year we were married to pay off that debt. I continued to work several years, kept saving all of my income, and lived below our means. We bought a house with a good down payment and paid off our mortage the same year our first son was born. That was 9 years ago. I share this because I hope it encourages engaged couples or newly married couples to really sit down and discuss this topic. I look back now and I’m so glad we decided to do it the way we did even though it wasn’t always easy.

I agree wholeheartedly. We made the same commitment to have one parent stay home with the kids (ended up being me) and used my pre-kid income to pay off debt and bolster our savings. By the time our first child was born (4.5 years into our marriage), we were debt free and had a 1+ year emergency fund. We don’t have a lot of extras, but we’ve never regretted our decision.

This is our situation, too. We committed to living off my husband’s income when we got married & use my income while I worked for savings and loan debt repayment with the plan that I would be a SAHM once we were blessed with children. Now, 3 1/2 years later, we have paid down $37,000 in student loans with just a few thousand more to go, put a $31,000 down payment on our first home (so we could go with a conventional loan & save money), and have a substantial savings fund. By the time our first baby arrives (Lord willing, this August), we anticipate that we will be finished paying off student loans & the only debt we will have is our mortgage. We have made a lot of sacrifices to achieve these goals, but I am confident it will be worth it to be able to have the privilege to stay at home with my little one when he/she comes!

My husband & I have really been working hard to make the above a reality for our family. Including us both working 2 jobs (granted, one of mine is a cleaning job once a week that I’ll hang onto after I “retire”), & raising 5 amazing kiddos. My husband has really been pushin for this & he feels that there’s a part of me that wants to keep working. I don’t think he’s entirely wrong, but, after 14 years at the same company, there are things that I will miss. Tosh, if I may ask, did you have any trouble ‘cutting the cord’ ? So to speak. Do you keep in touch with people from work? Or is it weird? I’d really like your thoughts. P.S. Don’t get me wrong, I AM really looking forward to being a Sahm! Thanks!

There’s nothing wrong with a part of you wanting to keep working. It’s normal. Doesn’t mean you’ll be “bad” at staying home. And I’d definitely keep in touch with work people, although it won’t be quite the same. You never know when you might need those contacts to get a job. Plus, if they are friends, what kind of friend just cuts someone out of there life for no good reason?

I have been able to stay home with my kiddos on and off over the last five years (I have a 5, 3, and 1 year old), though the first 2 1/2 years, hubby took the baby to work with him while I worked p/t nearby. Recently I’ve been back teaching p/t kindergarten due to financial needs at the moment (some on purpose-husband switching jobs and moving so we could start a church, and some on accident- hubby had a severe injury before new insurance kicked in). I hope to be home again by the fall and have a fourth child and begin homeschooling. I have discovered, though, through the on and off working, that I am much more patient with my own kids when I work. It’s certainly not to say that I don’t want to be home, because I whole-heartedly do, it’s just to say that I have recognized that the “me” time a job provides (even though I work with children-they aren’t mine), is a benefit. I would suggest that as you make the transition to sahm, that you find some “me” outlets. You will enjoy the time away, and feel refreshed when with your own kiddos. It will help the transition since you’ve had so much of that “me” time at work over the years. Even if it’s a quick coffee or a book or Bible study, a little me time is super helpful! Best of luck to you as you make the transition! I’m really happy that you are able to do that!

I was at the same job for 7.5 years before I “retired” to SAH with my 4 boys almost 2 years ago now. I was scared to death to quit — how on earth do I let go of such a great gig (my job included telecommuting, pretty much free medical benefits, minimal child care costs as mostly family watched my kids, and lots of flexibility)? How will I ever get another job in my field (with “just a Bachelor’s degree”) after the kids are all in school? What am I DOING giving up an income in this economy (2011) when others are desparate for a job?
The first 6 months were a bit rough during my transition — finding my footing, creating a schedule, feeling like I was engaging my mind enough, missing the office banter, my co-workers, etc.
I now can say that without a doubt, I do NOT miss my old job. I am doing exactly what I am called to do, and what I want to do is just the icing on the cake!

I do keep in touch with some co-workers via Facebook, mostly. I feel confident in my relationship with a handful of them, that if I ever did need a professional reference for a future job some day, or to meet up for lunch to engage my brain a bit and hear some of the old office drama, that I could do so.

I will also say that finding some places to “plug in” is a must ~ for me, it was a local MOPS group, helping in my kids classrooms, and a women’s Bible study, and a few other places I have found to connect. I also have an amazingly supportive husband who encourages me to continue to nurture relationships with girlfriends, and also carve out some time for myself, so I’m not just The Mom and The Wife.

I’m terrified we won’t be able to make that happen. Hubby and I have already cut back on everything we can think of and we STILL wouldn’t make budget at the end of the month on his income alone.

My only hope once Little One gets here would be if I was able to babysit someone else’s kid for some extra cash. I’ve got a church friend who is due about the same time as I am, and since she has a nursing career that I don’t think she’s in any hurry to leave, I might be able to take hers in. If I could get 1 more, we’d just about meet budget. Praying that God provides.

Ashley, I am always amazed at how God provides. My husband was terrified when I first approached him about staying home. I was blessed that I was able to take a year of unpaid leave from teaching before I would have to resign. We used that time as a “trial”. I had to watch two other kids to help make up the income, but everything worked out. I’ve been home for almost 5 years now. We’ve paid down debt, bought a new minivan, and added 2 more kids to the mix There have been sacrifices, but now my husband wouldn’t want me back at work. I am much happier and our home is more peaceful with me here! Watching kids is not for everyone, but it is a wonderful way to be able to stay home, make some extra money, and provide playmates for your children Best of luck to you!

Thanks for the encouragement, Tina. While I’m not a mom (YET! S/He’ll be here in July!) I DO have a lot of experience taking care of kids. I worked in a day care center, watched the kids in my school’s afterschool program, taught second and thrid grade math and English as a teacher’s aide in high school, was a nanny for 2 years to 2 wonderful children from my school (one of whom was special needs) while the mother was on bedrest for a difficult pregnancy (I say Nanny because baby-sitter doesn’t quite encompass all I did. I took them home from school, made them dinner, helped with homework, and oversaw their chores every day, since mom was flat on her back. I left around 9 PM. Dad got them dressed and brought them to school in the morning before he left for work.) And, aside from all this, I tutored in high school for extra cash, and baby sat both the neighborhood kids, and my own siblings.

So, I have a lot of expereince in the childcare department. I just don’t know if anyone would be willing to pay me, honestly. I’ve also toyed with the idea of tutoring or after-school homework help for some extra cash. I was pretty good at school. Straight A Honor Roll and valedictorian of my graduating class.

I feel it is important as women we don’t criticize others for different life choices. I have been a SAHM and worked outside the home and either way there were always women that carefully pointed out how I was failing at……fill in the blank. Encouragement and support is what we can freely share.

I have the same problem with the negative people, especially my in-laws! They have accused me of “stressing out their son” and “limiting his lifestyle.” They called a big family meeting when I said it wasn’t in our budget for him to spend $50 on something he wanted (it was some anime trading cards). We had $25K in debt at the time. They gave me a huge lecture on “life is short,” etc. and gave him the money for the cards! This was a few years ago and since our baby was born and I stay home it’s just gotten worse. They’d probably love me if I worked 60 hours a week and lived beyond our means!

This IS my story! I left teaching after 3 years to stay home with my children. At the time I was pregnant with our second child and we already had a 2 year old. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving another one in daycare. I began watching kids at home to earn extra money and still be able to stay home. We cut EVERYTHING that wasn’t necessary and I am always pleasantly surprised at how God provides. In the 4 1/2 years since I’ve been home, we’ve paid down debt while adding two more kids to the mix

Thank you for this post…it is a great reminder as to me. I am a SAHM who thought I would be that Mom who would be able to do work outside the home and have a child, but God had other plans. I had a mirco-preemie at 27weeks and that put the brakes on my career of 60 hrs+, which I enjoyed. I cut the work cord the moment I went into the hospital on bedrest and never looked back! I have had moments of time now 3, almost 4 later, when I am envious of The Jones’ where I say to myself that I can go back for the finanacial sake/gain, but truth is…we really don’t want me to return to work and I am 100% okay with it. For me, for us, for our daughter I needed the drama of her birth to jolt me into realizing that my job was so far removed from what I wanted to be more than anything else in this world.

What a great article! I also want to encourage those desiring to stay home that you can do it!! We had decided that I would stay home full-time once our first child was born, and I was thrilled to do so. We used my maternity leave benefits that year to pay off our only debt (a car loan), so we “practiced” living on one income plus I was able to start off my career as a SAHM debt-free :). But life took a bit of an unexpected turn when I started to become ill, and have now been diagnosed with a serious chronic illness that will leave me disabled for the rest of my life. So, instead of just juggling one income, we now also pay a full-time nanny to be home with me and the kids (now 5.5, 4 and 2) during the day since I’m unable to be with them on my own. It’s very financially challenging, but God has been so faithful to provide things just as we need them (and not before!!). I don’t regret being home for a second – I get to be involved with them as a physically can each day, and get to be the most influential person in their lives. Plus I get LOTS of hugs and kisses

We too went from two incomes to one when my first daughter was born. It was so hard to go back to work after my mat leave. I cried every day, HARD. WE knew we could cut many things and save money but boy where we surprised when just after one week of my being home when my husband was laid off from his job. It has been over two years now and it is not always easy to coupon, eat from the pantry, and do the countless other things we do to save every cent we can but it is worth it. I am willing to do without in order to be with my babies. thank you for such an encouraging post.

This is exactly the article I have been looking for. We are in the process to figuring out how to make this happen for us. My husband has recently received a promotion at work and told me that if I can bring in about $275/wk in pt or at home work, then I can leave “Corporate America” for the SAHM position I have been wanting for a very long time. We have 4 kids (15, 12, 12 and 5) and 2 big Great Danes and it would be so beneficial for everyone for us to find a way to make this happen. I’m going to send this to my husband and get started right now…even if I am sitting at my corporate desk job…:)
Thank you Crystal, and to all of your guest posters, for sharing inspiration and support through your amazing blogs and websites. WE ARE GRATEFUL!!!!

Selling everything that isn’t nailed down definitely helps. I think it would be so much better if instead of getting a job right out of college more women would be encouraged to start their own home based businesses that they can keep even when they have small children.