Sunday, July 11, 2010

By the time I returned to hospice, late afternoon on Friday, it was obvious my father had taken a, definite, turn for the worse. He is losing his ability to, even, take fluids, without aspirating. It is clear that the intake by mouth was not going to last long. At this point, my father has suffered, so much, that, even if the judge had allowed the feeding tube, it is not clear how my father would have done. He has not had anymore events, of pulmonary edema, since June 20th. It appears that the turn for the worse took place, with the move to hospice. It would, also, have been life-affirming had my father not been in a state of limbo, for over a week, waiting for an expedited court hearing. He should have, at least, had the chance for physical therapy, instead of just waiting. There are too many, unanswered or unanswerable, questions, at this point. The bottom line, now, is that he is dying. Although Dad had been sedated, during the several days, before I returned , he was consoled, again, with my presence. Since my return on Friday, the nurses had not sedated him. One documented that my presence was a comfort. Others realized that some of what they called "agitation" was his effort to communicate. Family is, very, valuable for interpretation; yet, another reason why decisions should be made by loving family members.

It is, now, Sunday morning, just after 4AM, and my father has been given a small dose of sedative. However, NOW, it is on his terms. At 3:30 I heard him crying out in pain. I asked if he wanted some medicine, for the pain. I asked this, several times. Each time he shook his head, 'Yes". After he was checked for other possible sources of discomfort the sedative was given and he is resting, again. I have been able to give him hugs and he has thanked me, for my comfort, by taking my hand to his lips and kissing my hand. At least, I know, in this, I am doing my best to comfort him and, also, to provide him the dignity of his requests. Although he confirmed, two weeks, ago, that he wanted a feeding tube, that right was denied. Only God knows, if that would have made a difference. For now, I can, only, provide comfort and be thankful that I can be with him, during this time. Thank you, Friends, for following my updates.

Barbara

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Barbara I have been moved to tears, but a good cry is good for the heart, for you to consider us your family to share such a special experience with us , not withstanding brought flashback of sharing my father's last moments on earth, an event that the State, DCF,Guardianships Courts, and others , tried Oh, so hard to prevent and made us spend so, so much money in attoneys fees, in order to be able to remain by my father's side up until his death.... having said that .. the Bible in Ecclesiastes says "The moment of ones death is more important than one birth." I would not have traded my father's last days on earth for all the hundreds of thousands I had to pay in legal ransom to be able to do so... it was easily worth every penny and I would do it all over again....

John goes on to relate how Jesus raised Lazarus from death to life (John 11:12-45). In the Bible, death is often referred to as sleep—a total lack of consciousness (Psalm 13:3; Ecclesiastes 9:5). The beautiful metaphor of sleep emphasizes the fact that the first death is temporary and that everyone who dies will be awakened!This understanding of death is much more comforting than all the biblical and erroneous ideas about death.

1 Corinthians 15:22, 26For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive… The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

God created us with a kind of instinct for self-preservation, and the Bible portrays death as our enemy. But after the return of Christ, "death [will be] swallowed up in victory" (1 Corinthians 15:54).

A person who is close to God can, in one sense, look forward to death, as Paul did (Philippians 1:21-24). But what he or she is really looking forward to is not death itself, but waking up with a new spirit body in God's Kingdom!

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (New International Version)It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.

You are lucky indeed that after much isolation you were allowed to be with your father during his most important moments, yet there are those that would dare say he was 'agitated' by your presence and keep you from him, I know If I was dying and I saw the person I most loved, my daughter,mate,mother, I would be agitated to say the least!

I think of those and I weep! those like Janet Phelan whose mother's death was kept from her for two weeks! or Robert Sarhan, or Bonnie Reiter or the countless others who were denied being with their loved ones during their most precious last moments on earth! What words can be said for the vultures that gorge on the flesh of our loves ones? Yet after having done so deny us of the company of our loves ones during their precious last years on this planet?

And as for the people who did this to us , the millions they stole from our parents won't save them as their time draws near, " But you, draw near, you sons of a sorceress, adulterous, wanton race! Of whom do you make sport, at whom do you open wide your mouth, and put out your tongue? Are you not a rebellious children, a worthless race;" (Isaiah 57:3-4)

When the people turned away from righteousness and denied justice it was written: For I will upset the battle plans of Judah and Jerusalem and let invading armies slaughter them. The enemy will leave the dead bodies as food for the vultures and wild animals. I will wipe Jerusalem from the face of the earth, making it a monument to their stupidity. All who pass by will be appalled and will gasp at the destruction they see there. I will see to it that your enemies lay siege to the city until all the food is gone. Then those trapped inside will have to eat their own sons and daughters and friends. They will be driven to utter despair.' (Jeremiah 19:6-9

and so it came to pass...........

And as for the armies of Guardians and Attorneys who with their Armani suits and alligator shoes, plunder from the dead and the dying , someone a long time ago has your number ..........

Woe to you teachers of the law, you hypocrites! For you are like whitened tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but inwardly are full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. Matthew 23:27

4 comments:

Lots of ups and down Barb when they have a loved one to draw strength from it gives them the will to live and its amazing how many times they can look death in the face and snap back,,Hang in there Babe....

Do you want my suggestion of key issue for DOJ to enforce U.S.Code 18-242 Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law? A House bill to mandate enforcement if there is objection raised by victim or victims' closest family member about forced conservatorship or if there is evidence court attorney violates the law to skip code safeguards to help friendly conservatorship mill operators. Only prosecuting a few can warn others. That was tried and true in Chinese history. Hang the head of the guilty on the City Wall to warn other would be criminals. Works every time as I learned Chinese history in my pre-teen years. 4 Chinese words: Kill one warn hundreds. I think if I can find time to lay out my experiences with law enforcement agencies regarding this kidnapping as "it is a civil matter" is the root of all problem. There is simply no path to transit from civil to criminal court due to only criminal agencies can bring criminal charges. Court staff that violates code to help friends is a criminal. Los Angeles Senior probate court attorney salary is about 150K/yr plus fringe and retirement benefits. Low for successful attorneys but no risk. Punishing a few will clean up the mess.

My idea is to form a volunteer Operations Research Group for older people to use their experience to search for the real problem before trying to offer solutions. The legislature such as California AB 1363 that adds safeguards is solving the wrong problem as long as courts are free to ignore the probate codes. Punishments on top of mandatory conformance if there is objectio is the only way to rid of this evil system kidnapping elderly under the guise of best interests, of whom? Only real jail terms will prevent lawless courts and staff.

Reason for this Page

Studies estimate that 50% of elderly American are victims of financial exploitation while only 4% to 15% case are ever reported. Financial swindles are one of the fastest growing forms of abuse of the elderly according to NCEA.

Fraud, Duress, Deception and Trickery -

An example of fraud is the situation where one influences a testator that another relative has stirred up trouble....statements.

Financial exploitation should be considered if the patient has suddenly transferred assets to a family member.

Isolation Means:

1. Acts of intentionally committed for the purpose of preventing and that do serve to prevent, an elder or dependent from receiving their mail or phone calls.

Elder Abuse = Death

Because older victims usually have fewer support systems and reserves—physical, psychological, and economic—the impact of abuse and neglect is magnified, and a single incident of mistreatment is more likely to trigger a downward spiral leading to loss of independence, a serious complicating illness, and even death.

Spiritual Quotes -

Exodus 20:12
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long."

John 8:32
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Leviticus 19:32
"Rise in the presense of the aged, show respect for the elderly."

Bhagavad Gita Chapter 17
"For the sake of respect, honor, veneration and indeed pride is said to be of ... superiors like the father and mother, and in cleanliness, simplicity, and nonviolence."

Other Notables Quotes

Robinson Jeffers
"The heads of strong old age are beautiful beyond all grace of youth."

Pindar (522 BC - 443 BC)
A graceful and honorable old age is the childhood of immortality.

Carol Matthau
There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.

Booth Tarkington (1869 - 1946)"Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age."

Gloria Pitzer
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

"Make wisdom your provision for the journey from youth to old age, for it is a more certain support than all other possessions."

General Disclaimer

The stories that appear on this blog are said to be true and have been submitted by people who are victims or have had a loved one victimized. ElderAbuseHelp.Org , its Editor or Contributors have no first hand knowledge of the stories published . These are versions of events based upon the alleged declarations of aggrieved parties, and no final judgment and/or outcome can be obtained without a full and and complete investigation. We urge you to report all offenses or suspetced offences to your local and state law enforcement authorities and keep careful notes of all events.

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