STOCKHOLM - MOM'S GUIDE TO COOL

Remember how your mom, even though she no longer got to dress you, kept nagging about what you should wear? Which eventually led to you storming back to your room screaming, “Leave me the fuck alone!” and slamming the door in her face. Moms are like the most embarrassing thing ever when you’re 12. Back then you’d rather swallow a cockroach and host its babies in your tummy than take her advice. That was ages ago and we’re feeling a little bad about our shit behavior, so we decided to go back and actually hear them out. Maybe they had some good advice? Here’s what happened to some friends and people we work with when they asked their moms for advice on how to look cool.

BE A CRAZY DANCER

My mom is obsessed with those cheesy dance shows on television and is constantly going on about how cool dancers are. She’s also very impressed by figure skating, as she loves shiny fabrics and strong colors, especially on guys. When I asked her what I need to do in order to be cool she told me to just let it all go and dance like crazy and that headbanging is very cool. ARVIDA BYSTRÖM, Stockholm

HAVE A COOL HAIRSTYLE

I’m adopted from Korea, and being the only child my sweet French mom is always on my case. She simply can’t understand why I let my hair grow out—she says it makes me look scruffy. One day she came into my room with a big grin, looking as if she was about to burst with excitement, and told me that she had found such a cool hairstyle for me. She showed me a picture of the South Korean football team (you can imagine those sport jock Asian hairdos glazed with ten cans of gel) and said I should cut my hair short but leave the fringe semi long, and die a little bit of it in blonde. She was obsessed with the thought. I guess she thought it was like… fashion for an Asian and that it would fit me. DORIAN DUMONT, Paris

WEAR A BRA

Last week at my aunt's birthday party, my mother and sister ganged up on me. I didn't understand what they were talking about at first because they started off with things like, "We're both really concerned about your future..." and, "You don't know what you're doing to yourself." I thought it was the beginning of an intervention. They continued. "You have to start wearing a bra, Bea. Gravity is real, and in due time you'll understand when you can't find a man and your tits look like flapjacks that you should’ve listened to us and not been so stubborn. We love you. We don't want to see you hurting. But you're not a little girl anymore, men are staring at you." So we went to Victoria’s Secret the next day where I was asked my bra size. "I don't know." The Bra Specialist goes, "You don' know? 'Aven't you ever gotten fitted b'fore?" No. I don't wear bras. I had a training bra once, but I out grew it and never got a new one. Immediately the girl flipped a shit and goes, "LaShonda! Dis girl right here never wore a bra b'fore! You belee dat? Git the tape measure!" Hours later, I walked out the store with a red-laced cheetah-print brassiere and zero self-confidence. BEA FREMDERMAN, Chicago

WEAR YOUR JEANS UP HIGH

My mom is very practical and couldn’t care less about fashion. Though a while ago I was stressing out about what to wear for my exhibition opening (my favorite t-shirt had a big stain on it and my black jeans had ripped in the crotch from skateboarding). My mom, in an attempt to be supportive, started giving me fashion advice. She was like, “Jonnie, it doesn’t matter what you wear, you’ll look cool as long as your clothes are clean and don’t have holes in them.” I just looked at her. “You know, you should wear your jeans as high up as possible when you skate, then they wouldn’t rip in the crotch and you wouldn’t have to be embarrassed.” I was like, “Yeah, mom, and moose knuckles are not embarrassing?” My girlfriend almost peed her pants with laughter. JONNIE CRAIG, London.

DON’T WORSHIP THE DEVIL

My mom is a Christian, a good woman. She didn’t like me wearing metal or punk tees with skulls on them because she found them scary. To her, skulls and stuff were symbols of devil worship. She didn’t really do anything about it except secretly wishing for me to be one of those good boy scouts. Even bought me nice plain shirts and all. My mother's father was a farmer and he wasn't keen on my Anthrax shirt. Anthrax is a disease that kills cattle and he had some cows.
ANDY CAPPER, London

WEAR ETHNIC STUFF

This will probably sound a bit airy-fairy. Our mom has always dreamt of being an Indian so when we asked her what to wear in order to look cool, she told us to dress like a shaman or an Indian. Afghan furs, suede boots, belts, and jewelry made of bone or crystal. She says that dressing that way shows that you’re open to other cultures and their ways of thinking. Like how they value strength and especially their openness towards the supernatural. How they listen to their senses, the moon, the sun, and the wind. To get the right look she recommends going through your relative’s clothes or to buy stuff when you travel. You can also search on the beach or buy leather patches and sew something yourself. For as long as we can remember she’s been wearing a fringed suede jacket that her sister bought her in the states back in the 1960s. It has a big patch on it that says “Made by the Cherokees,” which was meant to be taken off but she left it on, of course. She also said that colorful miniskirts are cool but only if you’re really young and have long skinny legs. So yeah, our mom is a real hippie. HANNA AND HEDDA MODIGH, Stockholm

DRESS COMFY

My mom always says that the key to being cool is to be relaxed. She was young in the 1960s and ’70s so she knows that walking around in skinny jeans, tiny tops that show your bellybutton, and five-inch heels makes you stiff and uncomfortable—not cool. Then she stopped caring for fashion and instead started wearing comfy fabrics and many layers in order not to freeze. It was like a one-way ticket to the friendly heaven of fun parties and great conversations. She recommends wearing comfy clothes that fit your body, as you’ll feel at ease wearing them and it enhances your personality. And to wear layers of clothes as you can put them on or take them off depending on the temperature. She’s also a true environmentalist so whenever we get to talking about clothes she spends hours debating the importance of organic fabric. MARTIN LILJA, Malmö

my mother had always secretly hated the way i dressed but never dared tried to challenge "natural growth" and maturing in my own way. she always kinda snickered at my clothes in highschool, as i would wear oversized tees, jeans and baseball caps, calling it "black people clothes". oh and she defines good looking and cool by comparing everything to james dean.

I don't get it but my mom made me have long hair when I was little and wanted to look like a military guy and then when I got older and wanted it longer she made me keep it short. Mom's need to make up their damn minds.

I thought my mom was so embarrassing, especially how she dressed. Now I look back at photos and realize that she was so fucking cool. Like some cute Bernhard Wilhelm meets No wave chick and now even my friends beg her to lend them her clothes…