Yamamoto didn't know why he always seemed to be hurting himself. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, or maybe the overwhelming loneliness had gotten to his head, but developing a crush on someone adamant in acting as if Yamamoto wasn't even real was the hardest thing he had ever done. Yamamoto x Gokudera 8059 AU.

As Yamamoto Takeshi stood on the edge of the school roof, he couldn't help but feel his chest tear from the emotional agony he swore was suffocating him. It wasn't his broken arm that had brought him up here like he had told everyone watching him from down on the ground in horror and awe; it was the consuming loneliness he had never been able to escape and which only seemed to grow more and more potent with each passing day.

Did he truly want to die? He wasn't sure, but he was certain that if he were to die, no one would care; people only seemed to like him because of how good he was at baseball. The ones who weren't standing on the ground below watching as he inched ever closer to the edge probably wouldn't even notice he was dead until his baseball team stopped performing so well and he would be long-gone. No one cared. No one was telling him not to jump, or telling him that his life had meaning or that people cared about him - it wasn't like it was in the movies. This was real life – the cruellest of all realities. Not a fictional world where people were nice enough to try and save a life, even one as pitiful as his.

The teenager could literally feel the way his heart crumpled like a piece of scrunched up paper. It hurt – it hurt so fucking much. All he wanted was for the loneliness to end. He knew the girls liked him, in his heart he knew it was just for his good looks; how could they ever love someone like him? People only ever used him – that was all he was good for.

He closed his eyes as he braced himself for the last step before he would plummet to the ground, and he whispered a silent thanks to the father who had raised him in place of his mother who had left all those years ago. His father had been the only one to stay with him, the only one he could depend on.

"Y-yamamoto!"

Onyx eyes blinked before the aforementioned boy turned around. He came face-to-face with the brunet boy in his class he knew as Tsunayoshi Sawada, probably the most unpopular person in the entire school.

So why had this boy came all the way up here to shout his name? Tsunayoshi was a nice person, so surely it couldn't be to egg him on, right...?

"Yamamoto, please..."

Yamamoto could hear the panic in his classmate's voice – but why was it there? Surely it couldn't have been worry over his life...?

"Tsuna…?" Yamamoto's frown deepened as he noticed the way the smaller boy panted as if he had ran a mile to get here in time. "…Tsuna, what are…?"

Those brown eyes that were usually so timid suddenly narrowed as if he was angry – but why would he be angry at Yamamoto's actions? They weren't close, they had barely held conversations together, and there was just no way their limited interactions together could be enough for Tsuna to consider them friends.

"You can't do this, Yamamoto!" Tsuna whimpered. He had his hands out as if he were trying to reach out to the taller boy.

Yamamoto just sighed and spoke in a monotonous tone. "For someone that's called No-Good Tsuna all the time, you can understand the feeling of preferring to die over being alone, right?"

"…You and I are so different…" Tsuna shook his head.

Yamamoto glared, feeling anger boiling up inside of him; did the other only come up here to make things worse before he jumped? "How arrogant of the recently-awesome Tsuna-sama. So you're a fine student now as opposed to me."

Tsuna gasped, his eyes wide. His voice was full of desperation as he took a few more steps forward. "N-no! That's wrong! It's because I'm no good! Unlike you, I've never put effort into one single thing… Saying you're so frustrated that you want to die… Unlike you, I've never had those kinds of intense thoughts. In fact, I'm a pathetic person who would have regrets when dying… thinking if I'm going to die then I should've done it with dying will - thinking it's a waste to die from something like this… So, I can't understand your feelings… Sorry…"

Yamamoto watched the boy, not knowing what to say – what could he say? That he was pathetic for knowing what it's like to want to kill himself…? Well, good for Tsuna for never having had these thoughts, right…? Not everyone can be as happy as you, Tsuna.

"Am I wrong in guessing you don't really want to kill yourself over baseball, Yamamoto…?" Addressed male blinked at these words. How did he…? "I've seen you… You're always… so alone… You're never with anyone, and the only time you have a smile is when you're playing baseball… You're lonely, aren't you…? Isn't it… lonely being by yourself like that…?"

Yamamoto frowned as he looked down at the awaiting concrete. Tsuna spoke the truth, but… how could he read him so openly…?

"I was lonely once, too…" Tsuna smiled sadly, as if admitting it hurt him. "But I have a friend now, and if you'd give us the chance, we'd be your friends, too…"

Yamamoto looked back at Tsuna, searching for a hint of a lie. However, this was Tsuna – there was no way the brunet would make something like that up…

Yamamoto was desperate; it wasn't that he wanted to die; he just wanted to stop the feelings – and if giving Tsuna a chance could help him… He closed his eyes and nodded. "…Okay…"

The taller male moved back safely onto the roof. His heart was still aching, and all he wanted was for the void in his heart to disappear.

"Want to eat lunch together, Yamamoto?" Tsuna smiled.

Yamamoto couldn't help but feel a small smile cross onto his face at this invitation; it would be the first time he had ever eaten lunch with someone other than his father. "Sure."

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