Local Student Feels Confident of Future While Wearing Large Bag

Michigan State University senior Jeremy Jenkins has made clear this past Sunday that he, in fact, feels confident while wearing a large, green bag.

“I’ve never felt like I have more purpose than I do now,” Jeremy explained. “I have so many life experiences ahead, and I’m confident I can take on whatever the future throws at me. The world is my oyster.”

Jeremy reportedly started his morning by putting on his large, emerald pouch and did not take it off until 4 p.m.

“This is something I’ll remember for a long time and will probably tell my grandkids about,” Jeremy stated. “I grew up seeing photos of my parents looking just like I do now, and now that time of my life is here. It’s a special moment and I’m glad my family is here to watch it happen.”

“I’m so proud of my little Jare-Bear,” Shannon explained. “After all the work he’s done, it’s such a great feeling to watch him walk across that stage, gown and all. It’s really just every mother’s dream.”

President of the university, Lou Anna K. Simon, stated that Jeremy was not the only one wearing a Hefty trash bag with holes cut out for arms and a head.

“It was a great turnout this year,” President Simon reported. “Sometimes people just don’t attend their own graduation, but it’s a good feeling to know people care about this day. The auditorium was truly a sea of green.”

Jeremy and his Michelin Man-looking friends ended the day taking pictures in front of historical monuments so their friends and family can know what they would look like with large, parachute bodies.