Q: For a guy, I have had very few relationships. For decades, my last lover would have a quick orgasm, roll over and fall asleep, often ignoring my own climax. My current lover can have multiple orgasms and we can enjoy our love for hours. Are multiple orgasms related to being in love?

A: An orgasm is the release of sexual tension that builds from sexual arousal and leads to a peak, from which there is a release. Physically, there are muscle spasms in the pelvic floor area, and in the brain there is a release of positive neurotransmitters. Unlike men, women are wired for the ability to enjoy multiple orgasms. It appears to be a learned behavior that women can acquire with experience and with comfort in their own sexuality. Women can be equally physically and emotionally satisfied whether they have an orgasm or 10.

Therefore, orgasms are not related to being in love, but the sense of intimacy and pleasure the couple enjoys after sex is definitely related to being in over. Emotionally mature partners often rate their own enjoyment of sex as being dependent on how well they can satisfy their partner. Sharing hours of great lovemaking is wonderful, but that sense of satisfaction is not just physical. When you share true love, the satisfaction that is generated from lovemaking can create a sense of peace that is beyond the physical.