Topical-Opinion – HeadStuffhttps://www.headstuff.org
Sat, 25 May 2019 10:00:12 +0000en-GBhourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.10Dating with Baggagehttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dating-baggage/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dating-baggage/#respondThu, 02 May 2019 07:25:42 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=76058I’m on a first date. All is going well. We’re having the usual pints and chit chat. Getting to know each other in this capacity is easy. You don’t need to know the grisly details just yet. What do you do for a living? Where have you travelled? Let’s air the best versions of ourselves […]

]]>I’m on a first date. All is going well. We’re having the usual pints and chit chat. Getting to know each other in this capacity is easy. You don’t need to know the grisly details just yet. What do you do for a living? Where have you travelled? Let’s air the best versions of ourselves possible. But then it arrives. The dreaded question, seemingly inconspicuous and masking as inconsequential.

‘Who do you live with?’

Harmless enough, I know. And in and of itself, it is. But my answer of ‘My sister’ will without fail, lead to more questions.

‘Did you move in together?’

‘No.’

‘Well… what..’

‘It’s my family home.’

‘Right, right…. where are your parents?’

I’ll answer abruptly. Try to make it clear that this is not a topic they want to delve into, that these are dangerous waters. ‘My dad lives in Berlin.’ I’ll say, and avoid eye contact. End of discussion. No more questions. But of course, as I’ve found so many times in my twenty-something years, people can rarely take a hint.

‘Did he move out? What about your mother?’

Ah. Yes. There it is.

Call me old-fashioned but it feels a little less than romantic to let someone you’ve known a week that you’ve endured your worst nightmare. Please, let me keep my dignity in this situation. I don’t want your sympathy, I don’t want you to grab my hand. I’m trying to be an idealised me – a mosaic of interesting and sweet and attractive. But when it comes to something so desperate, so tragic, who can help themselves? The eyes widen. There’s a barely audible gasp.

‘Oh’ they whisper. ‘I am so sorry.’

Yeah, you and me both buddy.

Dating with ‘baggage’ is common. We all have it. Maybe it’s a mental health issue, maybe it’s a dead parent. If you’re me, it’s both. I struggled with the former as it was – people seeing me in the midst of an episode, hysterically sobbing while punching myself in the head to make my brain stop would put just a little bit of a strain on the relationship. But at least we were at the stage where we were already in a relationship. With everything that’s happened in the last few years, my baggage is now out in the open less than one coffee in.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not ashamed of what I carry. On the contrary, I have talked and continue to talk openly about watching a loved one die from cancer. It’s a huge part of me, and one that has ultimately shaped me into the person I am today. But when someone is just getting to know you, and building this picture of who you are inside their head, something that huge is inevitably going to take over. I’m no longer the tall writer who dreams of living in a forest with her cat and making herbal remedies. I’m not the woman who feeds the birds during winter, I’m not the Radiohead fanatic, I’m not the person who cries at adverts for IKEA. I’m not the student, or the amateur ballet dancer, or the shrill feminist. I’m none of those things anymore. I’m just the woman who lost her mother way too young.

There’s a struggle when you’ve suffered a bereavement. Not just the obvious rigmarole of getting through the day without completely falling to pieces, but the struggle of retaining your identity. You’ve lost a piece of yourself. You don’t know who you are without that person. What you should do? How you should act? Where you should go? Are you allowed to be happy? Are you even allowed to be you?

And once that initial feeling of guilt for carrying on and enjoying yourself fades, you are consistently dragged back. Sometimes it’s by people who see characteristics of the deceased in you, and try to bring it out. Irritating, sure. But tolerable. In these cases however, it’s by a complete stranger who feels entitled to every last detail. You become reduced to a story, and this leads to a certain level of aloofness. You don’t want people to know you. You don’t want to be reduced to your pain. And so every new person is held at arm’s length, even the good ones. Especially the good ones. It’s a vicious cycle.

In my case, I experienced years of sifting through the hollow sympathy and morbid curiosity before finding a person that was willing to put up with the trauma. We had dated in the past, but it was unceremoniously cut short by my never ending fear of letting anyone in. It took months of intense, heavy therapy, and even more intense, heavy whining on my private Twitter for me to finally accept that I didn’t want to be alone. And that my baggage had potentially cost me a relationship with a wonderful person.

Luckily, by way of coincidence, he tumbled back into my life. After many long, difficult conversations we decided to give it another shot, and have adored each other since. It’s not always perfect. We’re still adapting, still negotiating. I’m learning how to ask for help, and he’s learning how to encourage me to talk. Two days ago, he saw me cry for the first time.

The thing is, pain in any form will affect aspects of your life. Even in ways you never expected. And as tempting as it is to let yourself be reduced to your experiences, you mustn’t let it happen. It only causes more unnecessary suffering.

Dating with baggage is work. But dating someone who will help you carry that baggage? That makes all the difference.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dating-baggage/feed/0Out Here | 5 | Roads of a Shrinking Worldhttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/outhere-roads-travel/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/outhere-roads-travel/#respondThu, 04 Apr 2019 09:02:22 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=75153Drive down the L3210 and you roll through bog and woodlands and crossroads. Crucifixes and flowers mark the accident-sites where people were killed. And one-lane roads jut from its course into the country. Where they disappear around bends overgrown with brambles. No more than tracks drawn in the earth by years of wooden cartwheels and […]

]]>Drive down the L3210 and you roll through bog and woodlands and crossroads. Crucifixes and flowers mark the accident-sites where people were killed. And one-lane roads jut from its course into the country. Where they disappear around bends overgrown with brambles. No more than tracks drawn in the earth by years of wooden cartwheels and trudging asses.

A spring sun shines without heat, stripped of its warmth by the bitter wind. It’s Sunday and the roads are quiet now save for a faraway motor’s rumble. I stand at the edge of a track and look down the one opposite me at the turn it takes into the bog. The rumble becomes a roar and a Volkswagen flies past, disappearing down the road. I turn around, head back the way I came.

The land is green and dry, brand new after the winter and swept clean by the wind. I walk on the grass that grows down the track’s centre, towards the country road that lies hidden from the main one by hills. It winds its way about the farms. Twisting with the fences that saw the country into fields.

Years ago my family came here from California. Where the land was divided by picket fences into smaller sites for smaller houses. I woke up after the flight in the back of our new car. Out the window I saw Ireland’s alien landscape spread out in all directions and felt the twists of the narrow road we were on. In America the roads were straight. In Ireland they have to wind their ways through private property and local feuds and disputed claims. So they turn in mad arcs through the countryside. And spell out, in their own parochial language, the stories of their people.

Up the hill there is a scorched hedge by the road. Our local madman set it alight to piss off his neighbour who he has been warring with for so long that he has forgotten what started it all.

The road into town has heard all the parish’s dreams and fears and loves and sins. Got them straight from the drunks who muttered them under their whiskey-breath as they stumbled home. It’s the same road that has carried townspeople east. Off to their new lives in Dublin and beyond – to the States and England and Australia. Across the oceans of a shrinking world.

Source: James Fleming

Once the world was huge, too big to even think about. But roads have shrunk it. Until it fit in our fists and on our screens and in our dreams and ambitions. The question of what’s beyond the horizon has been answered. Now the question is where does a person fit in a world that can be squeezed into a Tweet.

We see the world through the media – social media, news media, or otherwise. But a soul won’t fit in 280 characters. A tabloid’s headline cannot contain a life. Humanity – both collectively and individually – is too vast a concept to be contained in even our finest artworks.

However, we have tried to distill it down to its barest essence. So that it will fit in our on-the-hour news broadcasts. An essence made wholly of half-truths.

As the world shrunk so did our views of ourselves. We are connected now by thousands of invisible roadways – we have paved the skies with them. Yet instead of fostering communication between individuals, we have devolved into a hive-mind. So that now there is less humanity to go around.

This is not the fault of the technology. It is our failure to exert ourselves, to walk our road, that has led to this breakdown of humanity. In Neil Gaiman’sAmerican Gods, Mr. Wednesday says of the war between the Old Gods and the New Gods that “we’re not sure what side the roads are on.” The roads are not on any side. It is us that are walking into traffic.

Before roads there were rivers. But we did not carve them out of the bedrock, as we paved the roads. When man decided to get from his house to the store he laid a road. When we decided to cross from west to east we went by the Silk Roads. And when we decided to come home, we turned around and followed our new paths back. Now the whole world is crisscrossed by them.

I walk down the country road, twisting with its curves as the wind whispers by. A dog barks, the treetops sway, a farmer herds his cattle into the shed. And this small world turns on. Following its one-lane road into the future.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/outhere-roads-travel/feed/0The Periodic Table | 2 | A Bloody Brilliant Red Carpethttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/periodic-table-red-carpet-period/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/periodic-table-red-carpet-period/#respondThu, 07 Mar 2019 06:52:13 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=74509Dear Menstruators, In the course of just one short month we have had the launch of a period emoji and a documentary all about periods, Period. End of Sentence, won an Oscar. One can only conclude that periods are finally going mainstream. It only took several millennia to begin dismantling one of the patriarchy’s most […]

In the course of just one short month we have had the launch of a period emoji and a documentary all about periods, Period. End of Sentence, won an Oscar. One can only conclude that periods are finally going mainstream. It only took several millennia to begin dismantling one of the patriarchy’s most diabolical of schemes: to make us hate and fear the workings of our own bodies.

Period. End of Sentence documents the efforts of a small collective of women to provide hygienic and affordable menstrual products to the women of their community. Using the low cost, user-friendly machine created by Arunachalam ‘Menstrual Man’ Muruganantham, this women-led collective has already produced thousands of affordable, high quality pads which they are now trying to market in and around their community on the outskirts of New Dehli. In doing so they are earning a modest income and have achieved much desired economic independence.

This documentary, however, is much more than a feel-good story about women’s empowerment. It broaches the issues of period poverty and shame, evidencing the silence, misunderstandings and myths that surround the issue of menstruation. It explores the real obstacles people who menstruate face when they do not have access to suitable menstrual hygiene products and when the culture around them stigmatises their monthly cycle, such desertion of women in education and the exclusion from public life. The promotion and sale of their product has put these women in a unique position to begin conversations about periods with people from their community and to begin breaking down what Muruganantham describes as India’s greatest taboo.

And it does all this in just under half an hour.

Why is Period. End of Sentence so important? Well we live in a world where, in 2016 people were worried about Hilary Clinton getting sick during her ‘time of the month’ if she became president. Nevermind that if she did still menstruate after 60 it would be nothing short of a medical miracle. Thinx, a brand of menstrual underwear, had their ads banned from the New York subway when they launched their business in 2015. Most ads for tampons and sanitary towels still use a blue liquid, because apparently menstruators leak Toilet Duck, not blood, once a month. Advertisements still rely on buzzwords like ‘discreet’ to sell their products, on the assumption that all anyone with a period wants to do is hide the fact that they are menstruating.

So yes my dears, whether it is India, Ireland or Indiana, period stigma is alive and well, and this documentary is a major leap forward in putting periods at the centre of public conversation.

While I cannot but celebrate the fact that a documentary on Periods won an Oscar, especially given that one of the judges said he would refuse to vote for it because periods are too “icky for men”, I was somewhat disappointed that the whole focus of this project is the production and sale of disposable pads.

Menstruators across the world have used natural and reusable methods for collecting or absorbing menstrual blood for centuries. Rather than dismissing these methods as backwards, initiatives such as the Pad Project represent an opportunity to promote more sustainable menstrual products, such as reusable and washable cloth pads, that serve the practical needs of menstruators just as well, if not more, than disposables.

I’m a huge fan of reusables, whether it is the menstrual cup, pads or the sponge, they are healthier for us, for the planet and for our pockets. And before you say that’s all well and good for a western woman who has access to washing machines to keep them clean (though I hand wash mine with vinegar), there are many initiatives in the Global South of women recovering the tradition of making their own cloth pads.

Guatemala Menstruante, is just one example of a local collective of young women who use pad making workshops in rural communities to educate about menstrual health and break down the stigma around periods. Reusable pads can last for years with proper care, saving menstruators from the monthly expense of disposables, and saving the planet from mountains of non-biodegradable trash.

Even so, the Pad Project is an initiative deserving of the attention it has received through this documentary, and for taking periods to the red carpet.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/periodic-table-red-carpet-period/feed/0“Biggest Booty” Cheerleading Award Shows Just How Far US Feminism Has to Gohttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/booty-cheerleading-feminism/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/booty-cheerleading-feminism/#respondTue, 05 Mar 2019 09:21:23 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=74424Have we lost track of time? It feels like some of our baby steps toward lasting social progress are years or decades overdue. If you want a convincing example of why this is the case, you don’t need to look any further than a certain Wisconsin high school and its annual cheerleading awards banquet. Here’s […]

]]>Have we lost track of time? It feels like some of our baby steps toward lasting social progress are years or decades overdue. If you want a convincing example of why this is the case, you don’t need to look any further than a certain Wisconsin high school and its annual cheerleading awards banquet.

Here’s a question: What could the coaches at Tremper High School in the Kenosha Unified School District possibly have in common with a butcher at a meat market or a salesman at a slave auction? The answer involves the dissolution of a body into pleasurable or useful parts.

What’s Wrong at Tremper High School?

It’s only right to call attention to youth who distinguish themselves with the quality of their schoolwork, or the beauty of their art, or at sporting exhibitions, or in debate club. But the cheerleading teams at Tremper High School in Wisconsin reportedly spent years taking this very common and very basic concept to a place that should feel extreme in any political climate.

The school’s cheerleading awards banquet hosts team members and their families each year, bringing together the community to shine a spotlight on outstanding individual performers and on the team as a whole. Team members who show the most improvement or give the most impressive performances at sporting events receive well-earned awards each year and enjoy bragging rights until the next “class” of athletes has their turn.

But some of these awards are not like the others. Among other things, the young women on the team have spent years competing for awards like: “Biggest Booty”, “Biggest Boobie” and “String Bean”.

It’s true. As some parents sat at their banquet tables applauding young athletes who outperformed the competition or secured a scholarship based on their athleticism, other families received the singular kind of pride that accompanies raising the high school cheerleader with the biggest breasts.

It’s surprising enough that awards like this are handed to young women who’ve yet to graduate from high school — and almost all of whom are minors. Even levelled at mature and consenting women, “titles” like these are manifestly degrading. The even more surprising thing is how long it went on before somebody in the community registered a public complaint and the school district decided to lurch into motion to address the problem.

Tremper High School has since agreed to discontinue giving out the most provocative of its awards. But that shouldn’t dull their sense of shame or embarrassment, given the lateness of the hour and the intensity of the political and socio-sexual climate in the U.S. And more than that, the tone-deafness of the coaches’ and principal’s responses, and the long years it took for public backlash to reach this level says a lot about America as a whole.

How’d This Come to Light?

It took a series of complaints from parents and a former district cheerleading coach to raise this issue into the public spotlight. The situation picked up steam from there, with the American Civil Liberties Union eventually stepping in and launching a year-long investigation.

Based on documents and emails uncovered during this investigation, the Union found that these objectifying awards had been handed out for at least five years. Each cheerleading awards banquet is attended by 100 people or more — including peers, friends, family members, coaches and other faculty members.

“I’m disgusted with the cheer coaches and with the Kenosha parents that sat there and said and did nothing … I don’t think it takes much to see that this is extremely degrading to women.”

Indeed, it does not. The very first instalment of these awards should’ve been met with palpable tension and stony silence from the audience. But at least five years passed without any of that tension boiling over into a scandal.
The principal of the high school, Steve Knecht, when Hupp and others complained to him about the awards, responded in no fewer than three different ways:

First, Knecht promised he would launch an investigation.

When concerned parents ran out of patience and pressed him for an update, Knecht said he had found “no evidence” of wrongdoing.

Later still, as pressure from district parents mounted, Knecht gave his weakest justification yet. According to him, the awards were “meant to be funny.”

Generally speaking, the ACLU doesn’t receive summonses for hilarious jokes. They’re called in to investigate and help address insults against various kinds of human dignity. But for a short time, even the ACLU weighing in didn’t provoke the changes these concerned parents were looking for. It took multiple complaints over time for the awards to be discontinued.

America: A Place Where ‘Civil Liberties’ Are Controversial

Said Hupp in one of her emails:

“The last thing these high school girls need is a fellow woman in their lives communicating to them that they are objects or that their appearance is something to be gawked at, demeaned, laughed at or even awarded for that matter.”

But this is not how some of the school’s representatives see things.

One of the coaches responsible for these awards, Patti Uttech, remained unrepentant as Hupp and others took her to task. In fact, Uttech, as of February 2019, was still the cheerleading coach at Tremper High School. In her immediate response to Hupp, she didn’t seem to even understand why her actions could be controversial:

“I honestly don’t feel that I need to explain myself about how we ran our banquet … actually, we have run it this way for years and have never had a problem.”

Is there a universe in which “nobody had caught me yet” is a satisfying defense?

If American history has anything to teach the world, it’s that we can’t wait until the breaking point to take common-sense actions against injustice and ideas whose time came and went hundreds of years ago.

And speaking of which, Tremper High is far from the only school in America that seems to have buried its head in hundred-year-old sand. In Mount Vernon, Georgia, as recently as 2009, local high schools were still holding segregated proms. Jim Crow was shown the door in 1965. Did Georgia school officials not get the message? It took documentaries and art installations to bring the public’s attention to this matter. One school in Wilcox County, Georgia, didn’t integrate its proms until 2014.

This is absolutely worthy of outrage — even if you’re not ready to raise your hackles about “gag awards” handed out at American high school cheerleading events. Maybe some students did find that particular joke funny. Perhaps some of the parents even chuckled along.

But isn’t there something horrifying about reducing a human being — any human being, much less a minor — to a collection of body parts? We all fixate on the superficial to some degree because it’s in our nature. But the sight of grown men and women sitting in a banquet celebrating the size and shapeliness of a young woman’s bosom, or butt, or how militant she’s been about carving calories from her diet, is a grotesquery.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/booty-cheerleading-feminism/feed/0The Periodic Table | 1 | A Period Emoji is Cominghttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/period-emoji/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/period-emoji/#respondWed, 20 Feb 2019 09:04:03 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=73984Dear Menstruators, You may have noticed a couple of weeks back a certain trend on Twitter going under the #PeriodEmoji hashtag. The hashtag announced the launch of the brand new and much anticipated Period Emoji for those times when we feel the urge to share a menstrual moment on Twitter, Whatsapp or Instagram. I don’t […]

You may have noticed a couple of weeks back a certain trend on Twitter going under the #PeriodEmoji hashtag. The hashtag announced the launch of the brand new and much anticipated Period Emoji for those times when we feel the urge to share a menstrual moment on Twitter, Whatsapp or Instagram.

I don’t know about you, but I for one almost always end up live Tweeting my period. It’s never planned and it’s almost certainly more information than anyone else in cyberspace, or IRL for that matter, wants to know about the intimate workings of my uterus. Even so, it seems to have become part of my monthly ritual along with eating chocolate and crying for no apparent reason. It’s a well known fact that I am obsessed with all things period related, but also my period symptoms dominate my life to such a degree for three to five days of the month, every month, that in this world of TMI on Twitter it seems absurd not to be sharing the most intimate details of my cycle with the rest of cyberspace.

And yet each time I go to tweet about it I find myself scrolling through all those random emoji’s trying to find that one that will capture how my uterus feels when it is trapped in a vice grip, always to come up wanting. Strawberries are too sweet, and a red X doesn’t quite have the drama I am after, you know. There are plenty of graphic gifs that can some up my ambivalent feelings to the crimson wave: Carrie having a bucket of pigs blood spilled over her, that elevator in the Shining, Kathy Bates talking a sledge hammer to James Caan’s ankles, or any Stephen King movie really. But sometimes you just need a simple emoji, you know?

Rumours of this mythical period emoji had reached me months ago, and every time I updated my Whatsapp I would scroll through waiting to see the addition of a happy uterus, a pink sanitary towel, or a pair of blood-stained undies only to find the usual yellow faces and smiling turds.

Now the new period emoji, a simple drop of blood, doesn’t get quite so graphic as some people (i.e. me) were hoping, but I can already see the endless possibilities; one drop for a light flow day, a rainy shower for other days.

But seriously, why has the announcement of a period emoji got so many people like me excited?

Menstrual Stigma

Menstrual education, publicity for menstrual hygiene products and society in general often reinforce negative stereotypes around menstruation as something which is dirty, gross, shameful or which must be kept secret. This can be as simple as separating girls and boys for the school talk about periods, sending the message that menstruation is something only girls need to worry about. Or in advertisements where nary a drop of menstrual blood is ever seen, implying that every month a blue liquid will be flowing from between our legs. Or the persistence of myths that claim menstruating people should not cook, clean or milk animals because they will ‘contaminate’ everything they touch. Or censorship on social media.

Menstrual shame is a global problem from women in the UK reporting that they still feel embarrassed about their periods to the isolation of young girls during menstruation. Plan International found nearly half (48%) of girls aged 14-21 in the UK are embarrassed by their periods. One in seven (14%) girls admitted that they did not know what was happening when they started their period and more than a quarter (26 per cent) reporting that they did not know what to do when they started their period.

Menstrual stigma can manifest itself in the most everyday experiences: the public embarrassment of finding a blood stain on your clothes, your friends/colleagues/partners who get uncomfortable if you mention the ‘P’ word in friendly conversation, or the taboo around sex during menstruation. This kind of stigma prevents people from talking openly about their bodies natural processes, seeking out correct information and in the worst cases creates a sense of shame and fear around everything related to menstruation.

Period Positivity

The good news is that there is a growing movement of feminist activists working to end period stigma and achieve access to safe and ecological menstrual products for all menstruators. The Pro-Period movement is diverse but it could be said that its principal focus is on menstrual health education, body literacy and body positivity, inclusivity and promoting healthy, affordable and alternative products to the commercial tampons and pads offered by the ‘femcare’ industry.

Period positivity means, according to menstrual activist Chella Quint that “you are willing to confidently ask and/or frankly answer questions about periods, understand the importance for menstruators to chart their cycle and treat it as a vital sign, avoid passing on shame to others, and if you joke about it, that you make sure menstruators aren’t the butt of the joke.”

So fellow menstruators, watch this space for more bloody awesome period positivty, and bloody dreadful puns, over the next weeks and months.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/period-emoji/feed/0Permanently Dry | Sobriety Beyond Dry Januaryhttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dry-january-drinking-culture/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dry-january-drinking-culture/#commentsThu, 10 Jan 2019 07:17:27 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=72380Once dry January comes to a close, publicans around the country will rejoice as those fasting from booze filter back through their doors with a newfound fondness for drink, glowing after their month of abstinence. This might be a time when ‘Drynuary’ participants reflect on their alcohol consumption and consider if it is worth it. […]

]]>Once dry January comes to a close, publicans around the country will rejoice as those fasting from booze filter back through their doors with a newfound fondness for drink, glowing after their month of abstinence. This might be a time when ‘Drynuary’ participants reflect on their alcohol consumption and consider if it is worth it. They might be weighing up the positives against the negatives.

Among the negatives might be the diminished levels of craic in their lives, the black hole in their lives where a black pint used to be, the constant nagging from friends wondering what’s wrong with them. The positives, on the other hand, might include better physical and mental health, heightened productivity and more money in their pockets. Some might be considering staying off the booze for more than just January, but is the support and incentive there to help them achieve this?

What is being done to support those who want to go sober for longer? We hear politicians and public figures talking so much about the ‘scourge of alcohol in our society’, how it contributes to depression, abusive relationships and broken homes and turns accident and emergency departments into scenes of chaos on weekends. Figures from Alcohol Action Ireland indicate that three deaths per day in Ireland are connected to alcohol and one in four deaths of young men aged 15-39 are alcohol related. Alcohol consumption is clearly a national problem, with little being done to solve it.

With not much else other than pubs and nightclubs open after 9pm for people to gather socially, there needs to be viable alternatives to alcohol for young people who want to go out and not drink. Ireland has the second highest alcohol excise in the EU. Drinkaware (which is funded largely by alcohol companies) say that the average Irish adult spends between €1300 and €2000 on alcohol per year. The government generates huge revenue from the drinks trade, but spends much more on the medical support needed to treat alcohol related conditions.

For people who enjoy beer, but don’t want to consume alcohol, the options are very limited. Usually Becks or Erdinger non-alcoholic beers are reluctantly offered by confused bar staff. Both of these cost as much, if not more than regular beers. According to the revenue’s excise duty rates, excise on beer ‘Exceeding 0.5% volume but not exceeding 1.2% volume’ is €0.00. So, why are pubs charging €5.20 for a non-alcoholic Erdinger? It seems to make more sense to just buy an alcoholic beer.

One of the hidden costs of alcohol consumption – as people are unlikely to tell their bosses that they are hungover – is the lack of workplace productivity and absenteeism caused by a hungover workforce. IBEC has said that this costs Irish industry 11 million days every year and €1.5 billion. The mutual understanding between employer and employee of the excuse ‘I’m dying’, might not be accepted so easily when companies look at how much it effects their productivity. It would surely make sense then for companies, as well as the government to financially support the promotion of non-alcoholic substitutes.

The recent changes in tobacco consumption offer a template for which alcohol awareness advocates could follow. Last year’s Healthy Ireland Survey showed that 29% of smokers are trying or actively planning to quit. There is no stigma or opposition to this and there are viable alternatives that can help smokers to quit, like e-cigarettes. There are numerous incentives for smokers to quit, while it seems that drinkers are being incentivised to keep drinking, with the same survey showing that ‘19% of drinkers indicate that during the past 12 months they have had feelings of guilt or remorse after drinking’.

Many smokers cite the physical behaviour involved in the process of smoking as being one of the main factors associated with their addiction. E-cigarettes and vaping pens provide users with this physical behaviour while weening away from the harmful substances in ‘real cigarettes’. Drinking a non-alcoholic drink can provide this visual and physical substitute to people taking steps to reduce their alcohol consumption in a way that a soft drink or glass of water is lacking. This needs to be recognised by the consumer protection commission and alcohol awareness groups to help those who want to genuinely improve their lives by reducing how much they drink.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/dry-january-drinking-culture/feed/1Sweet but Problematic | Is Ava Max stigmatising mental illness?https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/ava-max-sweet-psycho/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/ava-max-sweet-psycho/#commentsThu, 20 Dec 2018 08:04:24 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=71960If you’re a regular listener to Top 40 radio, or similar on Spotify, chances are you’ve been subjected to the song ‘Sweet but Psycho’ by Ava Max. This is Max’s debut single, and unfortunately for her, it’s anything but pleasant. It feeds into a misogynistic “crazy girlfriend” narrative, while also stigmatising those who suffer from […]

]]>If you’re a regular listener to Top 40 radio, or similar on Spotify, chances are you’ve been subjected to the song ‘Sweet but Psycho’ by Ava Max.

This is Max’s debut single, and unfortunately for her, it’s anything but pleasant. It feeds into a misogynistic “crazy girlfriend” narrative, while also stigmatising those who suffer from psychosis, psychopathy or other mental illnesses.

As someone who suffers with mental health themselves, and an advocate for de-stigmatisation, I wanted to take a further look into the problems deep rooted in the song and pop culture itself.

I spoke to Courtney Smyth, who has years of experience with mental health systems in Ireland. As well as this, Courtney is a mental health advocate with a BSc in Psychology. She has been involved with youth mental health charity Reach Out and writes regularly for HeadStuff on social issues surrounding mental illness and stigma.

“Songs like ‘Sweet But Psycho’ just pull back on the advances artists are making,” Smyth explains. “We’ve been taking massive steps forward recently. Look at Ariana Grande and ‘Thank u, next’. Look at all the feminist artists out there standing up for themselves.

“I’m not blaming Ava Max specifically, but all the people involved in making that song, the writers who collaborated and wrote the lyrics and composed the music all had a duty to think about whether portraying a woman as dangerous, fun and likely to cut your clothes up (hello, misogynistic stereotypes) has a place in the music scene in 2018. I don’t think it does.”

But it’s not the first time mental health has been undermined or misrepresented in pop culture, Courtney says:

“The representation of mental health issues in shows such as Pretty Little Liars tend to be incredibly problematic, and there is still a culture where in shows people who display behaviour that is socially unacceptable are labelled mentally ill.

“A recent study showed that there was an increase in suicidal behaviour from teenagers after the release of 13 Reasons Why, which was irresponsibly filmed and went against the World Health Organisation’s media guidelines on reporting suicides, and they ignored the advice of a youth mental health charity. It was irresponsible and glorified suicide in a way that was worrying and led to copycat suicides.

“There’s been a severe uptake in recent years of individuals being willing to talk about mental health issues, but if we stop short at only allowing depression and anxiety to be normalised, we are letting a huge percentage of the population down.”

What elements of this particular song are causing the problem? Take a look at some of the lyrics:

But what exactly is psychosis? And why is it so important not to use these phrases so flippantly?

“Psychosis in itself is not an illness or a disorder, but rather a symptom, and it is characterised by factors where the person experiencing psychosis has an impaired relationship with reality,” Courtney observes. “These include delusions — false beliefs — auditory, visual or sensory hallucinations, confused or disturbed thoughts, disorganised speech, and a lack of insight or self-awareness during the episode of psychosis.

“According to the HSE, schizophrenia is one of the most common serious mental health disorders, and in 2012 an article published suggested that 120,000 people in Ireland are living with psychotic disorders or schizophrenia. This means that it is highly likely someone you know either experiences psychosis, or has a loved one who does.

“‘Psycho’ is a flippant term that erases the experiences of people who actually do live with psychosis and further stigmatises the condition. It is colloquially used as a synonym for ‘crazy’ and is used to label any behaviour that is considered socially or personally unacceptable. All this does is create a culture of shame around serious mental health conditions.”

Last year, UK activist Phil Hill successfully petitioned a number of retailers, including Boohoo to remove items of clothing with slogans such as ‘Cute by Pscyho’ from their stores.

“Why did people think it was OK exploit mental health to make money? Why was a mental health disorder being passed as fashion?” Hill asks.

“How could there still be such a lack of understanding of mental health that someone would design this and others would by it? And ultimately, why was mental health STILL not getting the respect it deserves?”

The song has taken psychopathy and tried to make it edgy. The music video depicts a woman, poisoning a man, and following him with an axe while wearing a wedding dress.

Oh, she’s sweet but a psycho
A little bit psycho.
She’ll make you curse, but she a blessing
She’ll rip your shirt within a second
You’ll be coming back, back for seconds
With your plate, you just can’t help it.

“There were any number of words that could’ve been used instead of psycho and I think there’s enough collective knowledge being stockpiled to know that psycho isn’t acceptable,” Courtney continues.

“Notwithstanding that, I think we’ve moved far past the idea that women are crazy, and continuing to perpetuate it as a quirk or fun feature that will have men running after these women brings us back to the suggestion that women only act and do things for male pleasure and the male gaze, and that they like ‘crazy’ when there is a prospect of sexual gratification, but when that is off the table, ‘crazy’ is negative. We don’t need it.

“As recent as this year, See Change called for people to stop using words like ‘psycho’ and ‘schizo’. This includes songs. Using it in a song normalises it, it puts it into people’s vernacular, it encourages the use of the words, it does harm.”

In response, I decided to stand up to this song, and began a petition to radio stations and music television stations in Ireland to remove the song from their playlists.

When I posted the petition to Twitter, fans of the singer were quick to reply explaining to me that “Melanie Martinez has done worse.” Whilst I’m unfamiliar with this song or artist, it goes without saying, two wrongs don’t make a right.

“Absolutely awful song that rolls the mental health narrative back about 20 years,” one of the petition’s signators wrote. “Being ‘psycho’ isn’t a cute personality trait, it’s a mental disorder and people with psychopathic tendencies need help, not to have their difficulties trivialised in a catchy pop song.”

I got in touch with a few not for profit Mental Health agencies to raise the issue. Whilst some have yet to respond, those who have have shown great support.

“Challenging stigmatising language is so important and can strongly impact change,” writes Sinead Keating from Headline.

Mental Health Ireland also sent their support, saying: “You are raising a very valid and reasonable point with your petition and we all here at MHI wish you well with it.”

Every year on World Mental Health day, tropes of people post “It’s okay not to be okay” and other similar mental health mantras to their social media feeds. We need to work together so that those who have psychosis or psychopathy can be open about their health, as well as being taken seriously and treated with the respect they deserve.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/ava-max-sweet-psycho/feed/2Why You Shouldn’t Wear Makeup To Workhttps://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/feral-goblins-makeup-work/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/feral-goblins-makeup-work/#respondThu, 13 Dec 2018 08:50:46 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=71764“Someone say psyche,” I said, one cold, blustery morning at the end of November. This wasn’t the most sane activity, given that I was alone on the side of the street. “Someone say psyche,” I repeated, loudly and more insistently as passers-by refused to meet my eyes and parents steered small children away. My actions […]

]]>“Someone say psyche,” I said, one cold, blustery morning at the end of November.

This wasn’t the most sane activity, given that I was alone on the side of the street. “Someone say psyche,” I repeated, loudly and more insistently as passers-by refused to meet my eyes and parents steered small children away.

My actions were reasonable. Nay, foreseeable. I had finished reading an Image article entitled ‘You Should Wear Makeup To Work’. This article wasn’t satirical. It wasn’t even in the Beauty or Fashion section. Oh no. It was in Business. Because it was business advice, you see. For women.

It’s a well written and well researched article, neatly setting out the stupidly high amounts of time and money that women are expected to pour into the materials and methods of covering up their faces, as well as the documented biases against women when they choose to forgo it.

Which is why I can’t understand the conclusion.

“It is worth being aware that no makeup might negatively impact your employer’s and your colleagues’ perceptions of you. It’s not much of a choice, I know. To counteract the unfairness of it all, may I suggest doing your makeup on the bus or the train on the way to work – it’ll help you stand up to the patriarchy a little bit and will maximise your sleeping time.”

If this is how we’re ending articles about the behaviour and grooming standards women are subject to in the year of 2018, we’ve fucked up.

I think I know where, too. It was in the whole ‘I’ll look how I like’ push. A great sentiment at the time, but unbalanced. We were all for the “winged eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man”, “lips painted with the blood of my enemies” and “six inch heels like an amazon” but where was the campaign for bare faces and unshaved legs? We turned to a whole generation of women and said, ‘Guess what! You can look how you like!’ and they said, ‘I want to look attractive’, and we said ‘Great!’

But we never stopped to examine what we think ‘attractive’ looks like.

Now we have makeup companies sleazing in on the feminist wave, couching their ads in ‘empowering’ language. We have sports ads pushing the power of women, while their athletes are wearing false eyelashes. We have makeup sets for toddlers and Penneys doing a line aimed at pre-teens. We have Millie Bobbie Brown pouting and posing her way down the red carpet in a smoky eye and off the shoulder gown. Everything is slapped with the urge to ‘Express yourself! Be true to you!’ as long as that involves spending money, covering flaws and looking good according to the established standard.

Let’s pull back from trying to hit attractive, and just settle at baseline. The world we live in tells me that my normal bare face is not presentable. It’s not good enough. My bare skin is ‘sloppy’ and if I don’t cover it, I haven’t made an effort.

There’s a popular Tumblr (RIP) post going around pointing out that searching ‘basic makeup’ brings up YouTube videos where the artists use around 15 products to get a ‘natural look’. Well-meaning responders linked other tutorials with a three product maximum, which completely misses the point that your natural look is your face. Your eyes and your nose and your mouth. No time or money spent on looking presentable for those who want you to be an airbrushed image with a painted smile.

I don’t wear makeup to work. This is less of a feminist stance and more to do with the fact that I am barely a human being in the morning, and it’s a wonder that I manage to get dressed at all.

Or at least, that’s what I thought. But as I was writing this article I remembered that when I was younger, less confident and less informed, I wouldn’t be seen dead without eyeliner on. I used to make the (herculean) effort to get up that bit earlier and draw black rings around my eyeballs to create an optical illusion that they were bigger than they were. I covered my blemishes and rouged my cheeks. I didn’t do it because I liked it, I did it because I thought I was ugly without it.

Educating myself on feminism and critically examining the world around me has made me more confident in my skin, probably saved me money and definitely given me more of a lie in.

If I’m going out at the weekend then yes, I wear makeup. But I don’t wear it because I enjoy it. Sure, I like how I look in it, but not due to personal preference. It’s because I’m meeting the standard society has set for how women look when they look ‘attractive’. I want to look attractive. We all do. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t acknowledge that we have a warped view of what attractive is. Our views have been twisted by a world that wants women to be sexy hairless babydolls with eyelash-toupees.

For comedic purposes, I was going launch into a diatribe, loudly declaring that ‘I AM A FERAL GOBLIN AND REFUSE TO COVER MY UGLINESS FOR THE PATRIARCHY!’

But you know what?

I don’t like that either. Because my bare face isn’t ugly. Nor is it attractive. Well, maybe it is. Actually it would be really nice if it was, but that shouldn’t be the point. The point is, it’s my face. It’s my skin. It’s my eyes and my nose and my mouth.

I know I’m being a dick about the Image article. I know. After all, what else can they say? ‘Be informed and try to sleep in’ is always great advice. But I wanted more anger. More indignation. There is a resignation to that conclusion that irritates me. We need to acknowledge that the world always wants us to be ‘attractive’ but we are not obliged to be, and we will not accept any state of affairs where our faces are considered unacceptable.

The title of this article is me continuing the theme of being a dick. I’m not the boss of you. Wear makeup to work if you want to wear makeup to work, for whatever reason. Wear makeup if you don’t want to wear makeup but you can’t go outside without it because of what this stupid shallow world has taught you. I know. I get it. This isn’t a simple issue.

But let’s start celebrating bare faces. No tinted moisturiser. No concealer. No highlighter. No mascara. Nothing. Just you. Your eyes, your nose and your mouth. Your bare skin against the air, because fuck it. Image is fleeting, time is a finite resource, appearance is irrelevant and death comes for us all.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/feral-goblins-makeup-work/feed/0After Eighth | How can Ireland continue the success of Repeal?https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/eighth-amendment-repeal-next/
https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/eighth-amendment-repeal-next/#respondFri, 21 Sep 2018 06:39:58 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=69310Over the past few decades, Ireland has managed to shed its reputation as Catholicism’s last great bastion; we’ve gone from a country set in decades old logic to becoming an increasingly liberal and progressive society. The past few referenda show that growing mentality in action, with same-sex couples finally able to marry, and women gaining […]

]]>Over the past few decades, Ireland has managed to shed its reputation as Catholicism’s last great bastion; we’ve gone from a country set in decades old logic to becoming an increasingly liberal and progressive society. The past few referenda show that growing mentality in action, with same-sex couples finally able to marry, and women gaining much needed autonomy over their own bodies.

Much of this was achieved by younger generations, raised by more open-minded parents, who balked at this kind of backwards legislation; they were disgusted to the point that they were able to mobilize effectively and get these laws changed. Looking back, it’s pretty obvious that the same-sex marriage movement was a direct precursor to the debate surrounding repeal. It seemed a conscious choice to move on to another piece of backwards legislation.

Which leads me to wonder; after repealing the eighth, what’s next for this forward movement? These past two referenda have shown that, in the current climate, we can not only inspire societal change in Ireland, but enact it. Many generations would be lucky to effect one such historic change for a country, but to get two in the space of a few years is historic in itself.

Still, why stop now? Why not try enact more progressive change throughout Irish society, and get Ireland to a point where we’re leaders in societal and economic change?

Homelessness is currently one of the biggest crisis’ that Ireland has ever experienced. At the moment, thousands of children are forced to sleep in hotels and hostels, often sharing just a room with their families. Thousands more single men and women are left on the streets every night, only swept away when high profile dignitaries visit, such as Pope Francis – help those less fortunate, right?

The Homelessness crisis has been spiralling for almost a decade, with the governments attempt to put a band-aid on the problem proving pathetic. As it stands, Ireland has enough houses built to home every citizen; however, very few are the ‘right type’ of housing. In essence, many empty houses are ruled out for our homeless population.

Then, we’ve got the crisis going on in our healthcare system. Currently, the entire system is so under staffed and under funded that it comes across like a Fawlty Towers version of healthcare. On top of the hundreds, if not thousands, of patients who wait in corridors every night, we’ve got tens of thousands – or hundreds of thousands, depending on the report – waiting on appointment lists.

Many of these people wait years in order to be seen by doctors, and in most cases, the only contact they’ll likely see will be a letter asking if they still require an appointment. Politicians have said for years that our healthcare system needs an overhaul, but any fixes applied seem to only address a small symptom, and not the overall problem. Our healthcare system is currently dying of blood loss, and the government seems to think that using different types of plasters will make a difference.

And we’ve got a spate of mental health issues running throughout the county; as it stands, Ireland normally leads as one of the highest suicide rates in Europe. This severely affects younger generations, with the average age of suicide victims dropping uncomfortably low. Almost every Irish man and woman has been affected by suicide in some capacity; at some point, the majority will also have severe bouts of depression, anxiety or some other form of mental illness. It’s an issue that affects everyone in the country, so it’s time we brought about an effective way to reduce the suicide rate throughout the country, not just among adults, but among teenagers who are victims of suicide at a higher rate than ever before.

Not every change has to be for some grand societal victory, as it was with same-sex marriage and repeal. Economic changes can, and should, be just as important. Over the last few decades, inflation has meant that the cost of living has outgrown earnings, with many coming home with less real world money than previous generations did at their age. And, typically, it’s the younger generations that pay the most for this; while many of us dream of owning our own houses, economic circumstances mean that we may never get the chance to do just that.

Aside from earning less than previous generations, there’s also fewer economic opportunities for young people, even collected graduates. The fact that there are many more applicants than available opportunities means that wages begin to stagnate, as employers attempt to get appropriate employees for the lowest price.

On top of that, there’s also the issue of unpaid internships, which have taken a staggering hold in more creative fields, journalism included.

However, a push for a higher minimum wage, and the abolishment of unpaid internships would solve those issues, and may even have a positive impact on the homelessness figures.

Since we know we can enact change, should we want it, it’s time to start bringing down the worst parts of society and improving as much as possible.

]]>https://www.headstuff.org/topical/opinion/eighth-amendment-repeal-next/feed/0Ireland’s Next Top Presidenthttps://www.headstuff.org/entertainment/humour/irelands-next-top-president/
https://www.headstuff.org/entertainment/humour/irelands-next-top-president/#respondThu, 06 Sep 2018 06:00:39 +0000https://www.headstuff.org/?p=68586Well apparently it’s been seven years since the last Presidential election so I guess we need to find Ireland’s Next Top President even though most people seem happy enough with the current one and do not actually want a Presidential race. Ah well, at least lots of interesting people have thrown their hats in the ring […]

]]>Well apparently it’s been seven years since the last Presidential election so I guess we need to find Ireland’s Next Top President even though most people seem happy enough with the current one and do not actually want a Presidential race. Ah well, at least lots of interesting people have thrown their hats in the ring this time round. Should make a good distraction while we wait for I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to get back on the telly.

Ireland’s Next Top President – Meet The Contenders

President Michael D Higgins – Now officially running under the name Miggeldy, a name a child accidentally gave to him and is now ingrained into the Irish national psyche. Miggeldy has nominated himself, as if every party bar Sinn Fein wasn’t going to nominate him anyway. Expected to win, probably with a majority of the vote. If you don’t know why then read on…

Sean Gallagher – The runner-up in 2011 has just announced his intention to run. Hurray. Expect many questions about collecting cheques on behalf of Fianna Fail to be brushed aside as he instead focuses on his amazing track record of installing Sky dishes in newly built housing estates in 2006.

Gavin Duffy –The second guy from Dragons Den to run (don’t worry there’s a third coming up!), Gavin has mostly annoyed people by putting up signs at the Fladh Ceoil before the nomination process has even started and using a Kildare County Council logo on his campaign brochures. Most famous for being that guy from Dragons Den and…

Joan Freeman – Founder of Pieta House and was appointed as a Senator by Enda Kenny two years ago. She’s a psychologist and founded the Darkness into Light series of charity walks in which over 200,000 people took part this year to raise money for providing specialised treatment programmes for people who have suicidal ideation or who participate in self-harming.

Kevin Sharkey – The black priest from Donegal from Fr. Ted! More than a bit of a lunatic, interested in restricting non-white immigration and praising Donald Trump. He is a shining example of how the Mental Health service does not work well in this country.

Gemma O’Doherty – Former Chief Features Writer at the Independent and well known for exposing serious failings and cover-ups in the justice system. However, she has recently been accused of finding cover ups wherever she looks. Probably would do more good in the Dail than waving at people in Australia.

Marie Goretti Moylan – Genuinely don’t have a clue about her. In a letter to Carlow County Council she wrote of her “love of music, art and golf”. Which is nice.

John Groarke – A farmer from Co Roscommon, has said people “running for these high offices are all very well paid, most of them, and the rural people of Ireland don’t get a look-in at these jobs”. Which is fair enough as long as you discount all the politicians from out the country.

Jimmy Smyth – He’s either a now deceased Clare senior hurler who was named on the Munster Hurling Team of the Millennium or some guitarist I can find no information on besides the fact he plays guitar and took a photo with Imelda May once. I think it’s the second one.

Sarah Louise Mulligan – I can’t access her website from work as it contains naughty images.

Peter Casey – The final Dragon Den’s guy. Lives and works in America, owns a recruitment company. I think he wants to get more J1 visas or something? It’s not very clear.

Good luck making your choice everyone. At least 6 of these people will not get a nomination, possibly more, so enjoy them while you can!