When you go for silly (as opposed to satire) you try to make the hyperbole clear by picking the worst example there is. For example, if I'm going to Mad-Lib an Onion headline like "_____ Seen Asking for Hand-outs to Raise Money for Next Album Project" I'm going to pick a name like Jay-Z who's already worth like half a billion dollars or some shit, not someone possibly going through actual tough times. In the case of kickers, find one that's on a record-setting pace (but most haven't heard of, because kicker).

People these days always have sticks up their butts so someone's going to be outraged anyway, but this is the way to go. We can laugh and say, "Oh, they obviously didn't do their homework," but I'm thinking it's quite likely they have. Bad kickers can get death threats and the Onion would want no part of that.