Can't wait to take my new mega-beast two-wheeled sex machine out on the big slab

With a strangled cry of "Eureka," our old vaccuum cleaner of 14 years died. It had already been repaired once, and it just seemed like time to let go, and get a new one.

The selection at the store was presented something of a pickle. You could either get the dinky, glorified-hand-vac, or else choose from a selection of huge machines that seem overpowered for our little home.

And I was surprised to find that our classic cannister model with the long springy hose with a little inert attachment at the end is virtually extinct. The new cannister models now have this "agitator unit" with its own separate set of wheels at the end of the hose.

But it's like with cars. Once you get your head around the idea of a big honkin' muscle machine, it becomes a part of your psyche. Another $120 would have put us in a sleek, red Samsung Dustroyer,* pictured above.

Yet the competition is not blowing us off the carpet with our new Eureka HP 6855. Check out the sabre handle on that power nozzle wand!

In addition to the power switch on the cannister -- which I like to think of as the "mother ship" -- the separate agitator unit has its own power switch. When activated, it surges forward at 3 m.p.h. like a big powerful dog!

I am so going to throw down and pound the heck out of our rugs! Out of my way, dust bunnies.

apropos of nothing at all, today is 06-06-06, which is worrisome to some among us. The evangelical Raptureready.com Web site puts its ''rapture index'' at 156, calling that ''fasten your seatbelts'' time.

samoua -- anagram for "mao usa" -- is our democracy coming to the end of times????

haha... I was thinking the same thing Sara was - I could just imagine you in the middle of the isle taking pics of vacuum cleaners! Thank you! :) Your post was most entertaining! :) And congrats! No Target this time, hu?