My Mother, like many, saved various remnants from my childhood. I usually find pieces of my history tucked into the pages of a handed down book or in a box of "do you want any of this?"
I don't remember exactly when the construction paper ribbon appeared, but it brought with it the promise of hope. "Miss Unruffled", it said, and it had my name on it. Imagine...!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Dear mom...

I know it's a common theme for parents to want better for their children﻿- hell, I feel the same regarding Kitten- but it is no longer your place to decide what's good enough for me. Feel however you want, that's yours, but I'm having a tough time with having it foisted upon me. I'm sorry that you don't feel that I'm growing fast enough. I'm sorry my life isn't as you want it to be- that I'm not coming to your conclusions (or that I may be, but not fast enough). I'm seeing even more clearly that it's about the journey and I hate to tell you this but I may never reach the outcome that you want for me. You see, you want what's best for me but you see "best" through the filter of your own story. You want for me the outcome you wish you'd had, and that just wouldn't be right for me. It's not personal! I'm not punishing you by traveling my road any more than I was punishing you when I weaned before you were ready! Please mom, take your heartbreak and own it! Stop blaming us because until you do, you can't nurture anything more than the "injustice" that feeds you!

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The Straight Goods

On a good day I'm a:
creator, mother, artist, educator, painter, home learner, lover, wife, community member...
On a bad day, I wish I didn't exist.
Sometimes depression and anxiety close in and it's all I can do to get out of bed.