Thursday, September 17, 2009

A polar bear family trying to survive in the arctic--their plight exacerbated by global warming. African elephants on a grueling, dusty migration to a far away oasis. A mother humpback whale and her calf swimming 4,000 miles to their feeding grounds--dodging the great white shark along their perilous way.

Five years in the making, spanning 62 countries and 7 continents, Disney's Earth is the latest awe-inspiring nature documentary to hit the screen. With breathtaking cinematography, (shot from planes, helicopters, and hot-air balloons) Earth chronicles the stark life and death struggles that constitute the everyday reality of Mother Nature's world.

Along with the story line of the bears, elephants, and whales, we are treated to majestic scenes of caribou migrating across the tundra; birds teeming in the sky in such numbers that they obliterate the sun; and fish that swim nearly 70 miles per hour--all to the tune of a stirring soundtrack and the dulcet-toned narration of James Earl Jones.

Like every other nature flick I've seen, Earth does not spare us the obligatory scenes of carnivores tracking and chasing down their prey--ostensibly to make a point about the kill-or-be-killed aspect of nature--and, perhaps,to transmute it to the human realm to try to provide some cynical explanation about the nature of our own society. (It's a dog-eat-dog world out there!)

The other side of nature's split-personality doesn't normally get much play--that being the relatively gentle (yet powerful) herbivores--horses, hippos, rhinos, elephants, etc.--who are quite content to munch the day away on something green. But that wouldn't make for a stirring, adrenalin pumping film, now would it?

There's a certain segment of the movie going population that just wants to see blood--human or animal--they're not that picky. Earth may disappoint in that regard, as it stops just short of any real gore, (or AL GORE for that matter) though the Bambi factor might still be present with small children who may wonder why the cutest creatures normally get the short end of the stick. Adults may be left to ponder about when, if ever, HUMANS might evolve beyond this dog-eat-dog world.

Also from Tim Schaefer...

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This site is a labor of love. My real job is: ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT SPITTOON CLEANER. It's an honest living, and I have a lot of time to think and write while waiting for the head spittoon cleaner, and the assistant spittoon cleaner, and the assistant to the assistant spittoon cleaner to call in drunk, which gives me my chance to really SHINE!

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WELCOME TO TIMMY'S NOODLE !

When I was a little kid my family would take me to the movies, but I don't remember ever arriving on time to see the beginning of the film. That was okay because, in those days, theatres would let you pay your admission and watch the picture more than once, if you so desired. (These were single screen theatres, so you didn't have people viewing one film and then trying to sneak into another--a not uncommon occurrence at today's multiplexes.) The theatre was a convenient place for vagrants to snooze the day away. (Now it's the public library!)

We'd watch the movie from whatever point it had progressed to when we arrived, then catch the first fifteen minutes or so during the next showing, finally grasping--in a somewhat anti-climactic way--what we hadn't understood about the characters and the plot because we'd missed certain critical information at the beginning.

And that's how the phrase "THIS IS WHERE WE CAME IN" was born.

It seemed lots of people were accustomed to viewing films in this casual manner because, after all, it was only "entertainment." But somewhere along the way, the theatre owners realized they could put more butts in the seats (and thus reap more profits) by booting everyone out after each showing and making them pay twice if they wanted to see the flick again. The unintended consequence of the policy was that it generated a newfound respect for the medium of film, if only from the standpoint that everyone started showing up on time to see the production in its entirety.

We've come a long way from those Doris Day movies of the fifties where the film censors dictated that if a man and woman were reclining upon a bed, they'd have to have at least one foot touching the floor! Today, every issue and situation that affects our lives is portrayed frankly--and graphically--in film. And that makes the medium more relevant to our lives than ever before. With that in mind, come take a look at what's inside Timmy's Noodle.

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Lenny Bruce died for our speech

TIMOTEO ON ACTING: We cannot pretend in our minds to NOT be doing something we are ACTUALLY doing, and then dismiss it as just "acting." Acting is living out one's fantasies without having to take responsibility for it.

BARF!

Because we want you to have a HEALTHY movie going experience, Timmy's Noodle will not knowingly review films that have a promotional tie-in (little action figures to lure kids into the burger joint, etc.) with a fast food restaurant chain!