A Conversation With Mel Gibson

Perhaps you’ve heard that Mel Gibson is not the most pleasant man to live with. There’s been a slew of leaked audio tapes featuring Gibson saying all sorts of horrible things to his former live in lover and mother of his child.

Thanks to my contact in La La land (i.e. a herpetic bum who roots around in celebrity trash for a living), I got my hands on a transcript of the most recent diatribe. Behold:

Mel’s Baby Maker: How are you doing, Mel! It is a glorious day in this most wonderful country and I am glad to be the common law wife of such a dynamic individual!

Mel Gibson: Listen you silly cunt, how many times have I told you, do not look me in the eye when you talk to me.

MBM: I am ever so sorry Mel!

MG: You goddamn should be. Why is there a boom mike hanging from the ceiling?

MBM: Please pay no mind to the myriad of recording equipment in the immediate area!