Swanning around the world for the last 3 years, we have heard some interesting/amusing quotes.

Here are some of them…..

1. Traveller, Laos: Young traveller who had to forgo the $60 deposit after misplacing the pushbike he hired, after a drunken binge. “Who cares! Back in Australia, I spend more than that on drinks on a night out.”

2. Aussie guy on the beach in Cambodia (victim of substance abuse): “I’ve done all the Europe thing, running of the bulls, San Sebastian, Seville, can’t remember a bloody thing! Forgot the lot!”

3. Aussie mate’s response: “Ya must have had a good time though, eh?”

4. Tattoo all over a guy’s back, Thailand: “Living on dreams and custard creams.” (What the..?)

5. American: “I always say that the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun!”

6. Young female, USA: “I couldn’t eat your food like kangaroo and emus and iguanas! I only eat beef from a cow, pork from a pig, chicken and hot dogs!”

7. Visitor to England: “Before I came here (London) I thought Fawlty Towers was a comedy show. Now I realize it’s a hard-hitting documentary!”

8. Spanish guy at Pamplona at camp-site full of Aussies: “I feel a stranger in my own country.”

9. Young Aussie guy to me at Running of the Bulls, Pamplona: “What about you gramps? Getting involved?”

10. British kid at Olympic Games, to his mate, ” If you had to eat your friend to survive, would you?”

11. Busker wearing a brown kilt in Glasgow: “People used to get sent to Australia for 7 years for wearing a kilt like this!” (See photo.)

12. Young boy on ferry crossing the English Channel: “It’s all wiggly, ain’t it?”

13. Guy in Prague to his wife: “I’m not walking around any more without a plan!”

16. British woman, loudly, about the Muslims she was playing cards with on a cruise down the Nile: “They’re actually quite nice people!”

17. Her husband, unrelated: “The jails are half full of Bosnians, innit?”

18. Singaporean Indian: “I never rode an elephant because I went to university and came straight here!”

19. Same woman: “Have you ever been to a disco or a pub? I haven’t!” (Editor’s note: yes we have!)

Turkey

20. Sign at Kuala Lumpur airport: “Please hand in any guns before boarding.”

21. Jimmy: “I was the only white guy on the bus to Tunica and I was the only one who didn’t have a box of chicken!”

22. Elderly African American guy at New Orleans casino after he bluffed a pot in a poker game (jumping up, doing a dance and yelling out loud enough for the whole poker room to hear): “Stole one! Stole one! Like a runaway slave!”

An American coming to play football in Australia, mind you he was going to be living in the outer suburbs of Brisbane.
“Will there be kangaroos jumping down my street?”.
“Yes, we ride the ones we catch to work”.
“Really?”.