Fresh from his success murdering 11 Afghan children, Obama has decided to finish off the week with a series of impeachable offenses. As the story goes, Obama, who never misses an opportunity to dip his hands in the blood of murdered Americans for political advantage, plans to give a bunch of families from Connecticut a ride on Air Force One so that they can lobby Congress on gun control. We had some fun counting the laws that this plan breaks. First, we start with the fact that the president can’t offer rides to citizens on Air Force One as if he owns the damned thing. It belongs to the Air Force, and there are very limited rules about who get to use it and when, rules which Obama frequently breaks. One rule that has no exceptions is that you can’t give lifts to lobbyists, which is exactly what Obama is planning on doing. Since Obama is doing this for personal gain for his administration, its not only a violation of lobbying laws, but its also a violation of the ethics laws which Obama came to Washington promising to enforce. Jay Carney has been pretty shameless about admitting to these crimes, but I like this statement: “imagine what they would say to the families of victims in Newtown about why a certain measure came to a vote because they filibustered it.” said White House spokesman Jay Carney. How about, “sorry, bud, but your grief is not my emergency. have a nice day.”

I assume that Obama will amuse his political playmates on Air Force with shadow puppets and the like. Or he can tell them jokes. Maybe he could start with this one: “A boy says to his mother, ‘mom, why are you white and I’m black?’ and she answers, “Barack, from what I remember of that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark.” The joke is a screamer in Montana.