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I Need To Practice More Of What I Preach…

It isn’t easy admitting faults or at least it isn’t always easy for me to do so. I guess that is one of the issues with being human. Back a few weeks ago I wrote a post about the difference between judging and being judgmentaland I have fallen into the trap of being judgmental.

There is a guy who has moved into our neighborhood a few months ago and until recently I had no idea he existed. He never comes out of his house, I never see him driving his car and he is a peculiar guy. Okay I’ll come right out and say it, he is strange.

On July 4th I was cleaning my car and out of nowhere this gentlemen is standing right beside me like he just appeared from thin air. It startled me to such a degree that I thought he was a ghost. It was right at dawn with no one around but the two of us. He had a giant grey Afro which, at first glance, looks like a clown wig. He wears a white chef’s coat or white button down Oxford shirt with a pair of colorful pants and Puma shoes. If you imagine this image standing beside you in the early hours of the morning I think you might understand my shock.

The strange thing is he just stood there looking down at me as I cleaned my tires. I asked him if everything was okay to which he mumbled something and just walked off. It startled me to such a degree that I called the police. Long story short he is my neighbor.

When I mentioned this to the staff who work in the model home they informed me his name if Frank and that several other residents have complained/asked about him. I was informed that he has some social skills issues and recently lost his mom who was his caretaker. He now has no family, no friends and is not able to work. The suspicion is that he is on the autism spectrum and simply does not possess the capacity of holding conversations or interacting on a social level.

Now obviously I didn’t know this when I first encountered the gentleman. But I feel terrible for thinking this guy was just some type of serial killer weirdo stalking the neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning. I would see him out walking and think “that guy is just weird. Why is he out walking dressed like that and never speaks to anyone?” My brain went in to instant judgment mode.

It’s funny how easily that can happen. I took my first impression and created a complete profile of the guy without knowing one single thing about him. And then come to find out the man lost his mom who happened to be his caretaker for the last 45+ years and he has is challenged with a condition that makes it incredibly difficult to interact with other people. I can only imagine how his world must feel now.

I tried to speak to him a few days ago, but he just looked down, mumbled something and kept walking. I’m not going to badger him instead I will say a simple “good morning” and let him go about his way.

I wish my brain didn’t do the judgment thing, but I guess it is part of being human.

I think living in this world today with all the crazy things that go on, it’s safe to say I think you are just being human. We are not perfect and some of us, especially the writer’s do that all the time. Create stories with character’s from what we see around us. I think it goes with what I say all the time, “To Be Aware, is to Be Alive.” It’s a good thing. Have a great weekend dray0308…Regards, Scarlett

It’s not unusual to be frightened by such a first meeting. Perhaps you can get in touch with the Autism Foundation if there is one in your area and they can visit him. They will have the experience to help him in any way. I think your afterthought about feeling bad thinking you were too judgemental and then feeling bad about it may possibly wind up being a help for him. We all jump to conclusions now and then but if we learn from them it can be a Godsend. Have a great weekend and don’t be so hard on yourself. ☺☺

It is hard to find this perfect balance of being open minded and keeping a little carefulness. Because, wether we like it or not, there “are” some bad people out there, and sometimes we have to listen to this little inner voice that warns us about strangers.

It is one of the things I like about The Internets… You can make your opinion about people without seeing their face. When I “meet” new people online, I don’t rush into picture sharing. I like to learn to know them without being blinded by an image.

Well I wouldn’t blame you in any way cause I would have done worse, something like taking off instantly without looking behind. I mean we are all human and react in wierd ways at times to awkward confrontations. I just feel for him cause I can imagine how there people that know nothing about him would react when he walks up to them.

I think you did nothing wrong but I wouldn’t have called the police about it. Apartment living is sometimes like a circus, you see people from all walks of life, which is one of my favorite things about it. When living in downtown Houston, I loved seeing all different types of people, colors, dress, and languages. Being a curious person, I would have liked to meet them all, of course that’s impossible. Went from there to a very small town in CO. A whole different type of new people to see and meet. Diversity is what makes our country great, not the other way round as T would have us believe.