Thursday, February 19, 2009

taking it like a man

Not the kind who got beaten and killed for his faith. Not the type who wore a hair shirt and/or ate locusts. Certainly not the kind who got her hands all dirty waiting on people.

I want just one thing: the ability to accept all that happens to me with an attitude of acceptance and peace.

Some years ago a good friend gave me a book of daily readings about the saints. It was one of those books I read over and over again, each time finding new wisdom. It was in this book that I found stories of saints who truly knew how to punch themselves in the gut and take whatever life had to throw at them.

I've had a few things thrown at me this week.

It really doesn't matter what they are, I suppose. But I know it does matter what I do with these goodies that've come my way. I wonder at the way God doesn't seem to answer my prayers, then ponder the possibility that He has something better in mind. In the meantime I am left with difficult circumstances that force me to acknowledge that God is in the business of making saints, not successes.

One of my biggest crosses is the one of being misunderstood. Anyone else carrying this one with me? You know the kind. I want so badly to explain myself, to make people understand what I meant. But they're not always listening. And I can't seem to say anything to earn respect, to make my voice be heard.

But He's listening, right? He respects me, all the time. He knows what the little (and big) sacrifices cost me. And He will never, ever, let me down.