In the age of noblesse
We used to pay a quarter
Just to watch the nobles freeze

Congress today passed historic
legislation that promises the 40 million Americans leeches on Medicare help
in paying for prescription drugs and opens the program to powerful new
market forces. The Senate's final vote culminated a six-year quest on
Capitol Hill to begin dismantling one of the last 'Great Society' social
programs and create the illusion of health care for all Americans that
conservatives have long sought.

President Bush
was in a cranking good mood as he offered remarks at theSpring Valley Hospital Medical
Center, where he is holding strategic meetings on moonwalking with headline making pop star
Michael Jackson."We inherited a good Medicare system
but it was becoming old and it needed help," Bush toldtheold geezers. "You know the old
joke - We're from the government and we're here to help you? You know that
one? Well, forget about that one, because We're from the government and
we're here to help you. And I mean that sincerely."

"Because of the actions of
Congress, because of the actions of both political parties,but mainly because of American
Republicans,the Medicare system will be modern and
it will be strong,"Bush said, adding beneath his
breath, "for at least another four or five years. And by then it will be too
late..."

"This is a good bill, and I'm
looking forward to signing it," Bush said, proudly making a large X with the
presidential fountain pen. "I'm honored to put my signature on this historic
piece of legislation. My administration hereby creates the 'Coalition of the
Spilling".

"Heh, heh," he continued. "Get
it? Jeez, do you people need hearing aids or something? Coalition of the
Spilling. Because you old people are always spilling things all over the
place." The first mother stood near by, looking radiant in fleece slippers and
a baby blue t-shirt which read 'We're Spending our Children's Inheritance!'.

Bush praised the bills
provision which he said offers "more options and more choices in health
care. The Medicare plan that I'm going to sign understands that a lack of
comprehension meant that there was no real need to provide inoculation," he
said. "Now, who wants to wrestle?" Several members of the audience
hesitantly raised their hands before being stared down by members of the Secret
Service.