>That was the reg of the small white van that followed me down Leman street – and I’m not exaggerating here – three feet from my rear wheel. Which is exactly the thing I enjoy at 30mph and about to make the 90 degree turn into a corner so potholed the Indian Highways Authority would close it. I had no choice but to pull over and let this genius pass with a traditional hand signal from me. I don’t think he was expecting me to pull up beside him at the next lights, where he glanced at me then spent the interlude mouthing expletives at his dashboard.

All this ten minutes after I’d pulled up beside White Van Man, who in heavy traffic was reading his copy of the Daily Mail as he trundled slowly forward. There was a crocodile of schoolkids on the pavement right next to him. I’ve had two scooters destroyed (with me sat on them) by just this sort of dolt driving into me from behind. He didn’t take kindly to my strongly-worded advice.

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About teninchwheels

Designer, photographer and Vespa-fixated pub bore. Born in Yorkshire, living in that London these past 20 years. Get in touch at teninchwheels@gmail.com, especially if you'd like to send me some free beer.