Scrum Backlog Zombies!

Product Owners – Do you really want an algorithm to take all the thought out of backlog prioritization? You do?

…
You’re fired.

Pack up your things and request an immediate transfer to a different department. It’s over. You’re a zombie worker. Purposeful prioritization is your one wildly important purpose in the role!

You MUST prioritize the inter-party flow of information between stakeholders, customers, the development team, and your ever-storied users.

You MUST prioritize the flow of disciplined experimentation as the only scientist who can connect “innovative solution” supply with “ever-evolving pain-driven-need” demand.

You MUST prioritize the flow of economic value-add with enough vision and discipline and multi-partisan politics that the agile train doesn’t come off the rails.

Oh by the way, you’re definitely not fired.

What I meant to say before was, you’ll need to light a fire under your ass because you’re insanely important. Product Ownership may not matter to SOME people, but it’s VERY important to the REST of US.

You know, if you are a Product Owner in a large company, I get it if you didn’t ask for all this power that no one fully explained to you. In fact, I’m sorry. It is serious malarky that you’ve been empowered SO MUCH but nobody will tell you until after you fail. That’s because you’re the single point of failure in a system they didn’t want, and they definitely don’t understand what to do with. They don’t know your great power or your great responsibility, how can they possibly help you?

Your boss probably hates agile.

Maybe you hate agile.

But hey, here you are, a bridge between two broken systems, prepared to be blamed as the “single neck to choke” because a ScrumMaster said so.

I’m here for you, and I’m not giving up on you. Whatever tips, tricks, or advice you may need, just reach out.