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Wednesday morning Apple funny, courtesy The Onion

The Onion is fake reporting on a fake Apple press event that we weren't …

A warning to the elite among you that make up the "This Isn't News Army": this isn't news. This is something we common folk like to call humor. Please look away from the screen now.

The Onion (self-proclaimed America's Finest New Source, which is becoming difficult to argue with) is (fake) reporting the latest product released by Apple at their fake press event on Tuesday that we weren't invited to. Jobs himself unveiled the "iLaunch" a product that will no doubt revolutionize the act of special product unveilings.

The iLaunch, as the new product is called, was then raised up from below the stage, prompting the audience of technology journalists, developers, and self-professed "Apple fanatics" to burst into a five-minute standing ovation.

Oh, now you are curious: what could possibly make "Apple fanatics" stand and clap continuously for five minutes? You know, besides Steve walking on stage, Apple releasing a new piece of hardware, Apple announcing a upgrade to a software package, or Apple releasing a .01 update to Keynote? Well this little baby can: a projector that runs Keynote, for starters! The device has everything, including automatic hype creation, error correction, and the infamous 3D spinning product.

As his presentation wound down, Jobs said there was "one more thing" he wanted to mention: The iLaunch automatically saves a significant, salient product feature for the end of a presentation, to surprise and delight audiences.

"Do you want to know what the surprise of this unveiling is?" said Jobs to the eagerly nodding crowd. "The iLaunch itself generated this entire presentation, as well as this very surprise."