Going Batty

Welcome to the midweek edition of the self-isolated socially distant Mark Steyn Show, with an audio Coronacopia of news and comment, plus your Brit Wanker Copper of the Day, Mark's Mailbox, Old Wave, cold comforters, castles to the clouds, and getting turned on by parking camels.

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If you're wondering what these shows are about, The Conservative Woman has an overview to date:

For admirers of his acerbic analyses, the good news is that over the past few weeks Mark has upped his output, producing a series of 40-minute polemical podcasts each with the introduction: 'From my house arrest to yours, it's your Steyn Show Coronacopia'.

Gary Oliver also provides a handy transcription of Mark's evolving "Kung Flu Fighting" lyrics, so you can sing along.

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65 Member Comments

Stephen Davis • Apr 24, 2020 at 11:35

Dear Mark,

Back in the early days of the China Virus invasion, I was somewhat dismissive of the threat as it pertained to health in America. That dismissal was accompanied by a degree of cynicism which was manifested in my initial reaction to the cancellation of the NBA season and other mass gatherings. At that time, I posited that the owners and the league were probably more afraid of the trial lawyers than the virus itself.

Since that time, we've heard the constant palaver of "experts" justifying their previous errors. They continually adjust their latest predictive models of forecast morbidity and, thus, the need for continued draconian and dictatorial measures. So, the destruction of representative government and the liberties guaranteed for Americans in our Bill of Rights continues and is likely to be a lasting legacy.

While I could speak with some authority on things economic and political as someone who has been involved as a "movement conservative" for over 50 years, those are topics for another day. Right now I want to address the second plague which is sure to come fast on the heels of the Wuhan China Coronavirus. That is, the pervasive pestilence of the United States trial lawyers. I have read of things as preposterous as bringing lawsuits against President Trump after he leaves office for "wrongful death", among other things.

Further, and not that he is alone, a mayor in Indiana has used the police to deliver a letter to an elder care facility. That letter contained a threat of possible prosecution for the crime of reckless homicide, in order to get the facility to comply with "best practices" in mitigating the spread of the virus. That was in a Fox News story which also quoted a California criminal defense attorney, saying: "We will definitely see wrongful death and elder abuse lawsuits popping up in the wake of the pandemic. The insurance companies are already bracing for these suits."

So I would imagine that the slip-and-fall attorneys are already putting together their boilerplate for massive class action suits which will further cripple a moribund economy. Knowing your personal experiences and opinion of the courts of the United States, I would like your opinion. What say you to this?

Thanks.

Chris Kemble • Apr 24, 2020 at 02:15

Irony perhaps? Wisconsin's largest hospital and medical college are laying off over 700 because they have so few patients. A new 700 bed emergency hospital is empty. Democrats are replacing 'flatten the curve' with 'Keep Economic Death Spiral Going!'I have no takers from liberals for 'Why not take this opportunity to pledge to self-quarantine until you have been vaccinated!' Leftist moral purity has limits when it inconveniences them.

Laura Rosen Cohen • Apr 23, 2020 at 16:41

Hey Mark, I think I am officially losing my mind because on the outro, I swear I heard "they're [expletive that rhymes with ducking that always gets autocorrected on my iPhone] camels where the taxis used to be".

Fran Lavery Â Laura Rosen Cohen • Apr 24, 2020 at 03:01

Don't worry, Laura, you're not losing your mind. It just feels that way because it's the Chinese year of the bat.

George Pereira • Apr 23, 2020 at 15:47

Perry PI appreciate your comments.A couple of remarks:A plant going offline for cleaning is not the same as a plant closing.Where were the hardworking USDA inspectors? I thought their mission in life was to prevent things from getting this bad?My point was that the news reports cast these events as precursors to upcoming shortages and famine, all to President Trump appear ineffectual.The story is never the story: it's always Orange man bad.A vote for Trump is a vote for soylent green to be on the menu.You might say I'm being over the top, but just wait a week or so and we'll see.

Paul Davis • Apr 23, 2020 at 12:05

Looking at the Covid mortality age distribution (skewed very old) and recalling the Dylan Thomas lines "Do not go gentle into that good night Old age should burn and rave at close of day rage rage against the dying of the light?", it seems to be that burn and rage are the guiding principles behind all the shutdowns across the world. We are laying waste to the modern world as we, the babyboomers of yore, are inexorably exiting it courtesy of father time (btw why is it father time?) ? Is this all an effort to obliterate and thereby eclipse the impact on the world of the "greatest" generation? In other words, the endgame (death rattle) of the " Destructive Generation"?

Drew W Paul Davis • Apr 23, 2020 at 13:36

Often said "we are at war with an invisible enemy". In our past wars, we send our younger to fight, many of whom were wounded or killed. Deemed a price that must've been paid to sustain our way of life. COVID predominantly impacts our elders, with much, much less impact to our younger. However, in this war vs COVID, we again have decided the younger must bear the burden, many of whom have had their jobs in the service economy ended and their financial future put at risk in order to slow the spread, effectively to protect the older. Maybe the older should bear the burden in this war and do the sheltering and severe physical distancing. The media meme yesterday was the 10K who have died in nursing/senior homes which amounts to nearly one-quarter of COVID fatalities. Seems we could establish provisions to protect this slice of our population without shutting most of the economy down.

Drew W • Apr 23, 2020 at 11:19

Mark, Comparisons are made between past pandemics and COVID. We didn't shut down economies in the past. Why now? I submit much has to do with the internet and mobile connectivity that allows a large chunk of the workforce to still work from home at some level for the near-term. However, this is not sustainable for too much longer. Soon the larger corporations will lose patience with profits declining and will determine they cannot continue to pay people to "work from home with lower productivity. Sure, lots of pundits, government and media types along with "white collar" employees are OK to keep the shut down. Once they start to lose their paychecks, the call to open the economy will be loud.

Laura Rosen Cohen Drew W • Apr 23, 2020 at 16:43

I think we should all be paying very close attention to who is saying what. The people who want us locked in our houses without any debate about the efficacy of the policies, accusing us of "wanting people to die" have used shutting down debate and this "argument" before. It's not a zero sum game. This is now much more about control than "safety" or lives.

Kate Smyth Drew W • Apr 23, 2020 at 20:31

If the disease disproportionately killed healthy 20-40 year olds (as the Spanish flu did) would that group be locked up indefinitely while the disease spread unchecked in the community? Or would those with the infection be placed in isolation (ie. in the way that quarantine is supposed to work)?

Note that many of the elders to whom you refer *were* the (younger) ones who bore the burden in past wars.

Kate Smyth Laura Rosen Cohen • Apr 23, 2020 at 20:41

"This is now much more about control than "safety" or lives."

Exactly right, Laura. It's been weaponised out of all proportion by those who crave power - ie. the Left. The outright harassment of law-abiding citizens is disturbing. It reminds me of that Steynism: "Tyranny is always capricious."

George Pereira • Apr 23, 2020 at 07:55

I've noticed a growing number of food problem stories being written about.The underlying point of these stories is that food shortages are coming soon and being widespread if not world wide.I don't believe the stories but the Deep State is desperate to damage, destroy or remove the President.Will the Get Trump at any and all costs Deep State use world wide food shortages and famine as their next attempt?

Perry Pattetic George Pereira • Apr 23, 2020 at 14:22

George, Chinese-owned Smithfield closed the world's largest pigmeat plant after the Wuhan virus was detected. That takes out 5% of US pork.Another pork plant is going offline - Tysons plant in Waterloo, Iowa - 4% of US pork.

Fran Lavery Â George Pereira • Apr 24, 2020 at 02:37

This is all just a test to see how well tinned bats will fly at your local gourmet shops! They'd be right there next to the escargots!

Nigel Sherratt • Apr 23, 2020 at 04:42

A story from yesterday's papers seems perfect for this week's NHS Clapathon day. Usual charming feel-good about a baby successfully delivered on the way to hospital by the anxious parents in a supermarket car park. The extra piquant detail was that just before the delivery the father spotted an ambulance driving past and attempted to get it to stop. The crew merely waved back assuming he was waving in appreciation (a day early but continuous conspicuous appreciation will be next no doubt).

Laura Rosen Cohen Nigel Sherratt • Apr 23, 2020 at 16:44

Am I the only person who finds the clapping ridiculous, juvenile and self-serving? And isn't clapping supposed to be "triggering"? Maybe jazz hands for the NHS would be more "safe".

Jeff Johnson • Apr 22, 2020 at 23:51

Mark thank for another enlightening and entertaining edition of Coronacopia, please keep them coming. Is all of this a fire sale of the West? Did I awake from a coma during which we lost a war to China and to the victors go the spoil? Do you find it ironic that in the year 2020, one cannot see evidence of hindsight, insight, or foresight from our leaders, our media, or many of our fellow citizens?

Laura Rosen Cohen Jeff Johnson • Apr 23, 2020 at 16:45

We in the West are certainly taking policy direction now from China (total lock downs). It is astonishing that a policy that really has no conclusive evidence to support it, and has come directly from the source of the infection itself, is being used as the model of public health practice. And when I say astonishing, I mean imbecilic.

John Frey • Apr 22, 2020 at 22:13

Sorry, I meant Egg Flew Yung.

Kate Smyth • Apr 22, 2020 at 22:04

Please keep expanding the Kung Flu lyrics! "Prince Charles' bedding" (and other fomites) with the effete "ah-choo-ah-choo" ending is great morning music! (A few recent additions seem to have dropped off, such as "masks un-tying".)

The angry introduction to this episode was especially good. The ChiComs must be having a great laugh at our expense with the cancellation of the "Bat Fried Rice" t-shirt guy. ( I just ordered one online, in solidarity, and realised it's probably Made-in-China.) Even before pandemic policing, our own societies were just as authoritarian as the CCP, and the citizenry just as cowed as the Chinese: "We're becoming China". They don't need to cripple us with a bioweapon when we hobble ourselves with political correctness. Pathetic, indeed!

PS. Great to hear about the subversive soul who inspired SteynOnline's Song-of-the-Week. I couldn't find Ian Whitcomb's lyrics for "They're Parking Camels", but love the parts I could make out.

KS you could buy an official "China is Asshoe!" t-shirt guaranteed not made in China from another person canceled for mentioning the unmentionable. Thank goodness for our host who continues to call out the corruption and stupidity of Brit Wanker Coppers.

Kate Smyth Nigel Sherratt • Apr 23, 2020 at 11:04

Nice one, N - and with you on all of the above. "We're losing it!", as Mark said. China disappears people who dispute the bat origin story, and Lululemon disappears people who joke about it. Pa-the-tic. It turns out there's only a thin veneer of "maple boosterism" concealing Canadian tyranny (based on the ubiquitous "slogan" shopping bags).

Cartoons - from turban bombs to bat fried rice - are definitely the hill to die on when we can't even laugh about who's killing us.

John Frey • Apr 22, 2020 at 21:54

Love the tee shirt!

Egg Flu Yung, anybody?

John Schuler • Apr 22, 2020 at 20:28

Sorry to post 2 comments in a row, but listening to these nightly tales I guess I feel like a kid in a candy store.

The Celtic wanker copper story was too much...back in college when Lehigh was awash in fraternity houses and beer, John the Beer Man came by once a week from the local distributor and would typically have a beer and chat with the various fraternity's brothers, and was brought up to be fired for it...so all the fraternities of course came to his defense to save his job...hope it goes as well for the Guiness traveling pint man....

Paul Harmon • Apr 22, 2020 at 20:21

Mark, you mentioned that global carbon emissions are down, and indeed the use of oil had dropped by 50%, back to 1990 levels of consumption, in one month.

I'll be waiting for Dr. Mann to calculate and verify the drop in global warming created by this unexpected experiment in CO2 reduction that he could previously only dream about. How long do you think it will take?

Colleen Paul Harmon • Apr 23, 2020 at 21:38

Oh, now that would be interesting!

Fran Lavery Â • Apr 22, 2020 at 20:00

I could very easily get used to someone delivering a Guinness freshly poured from the tap to my house at 5 PM nightly.

Stefan Nowina Fran Lavery Â • Apr 23, 2020 at 05:38

Why waste an entire day? Sharp at 7:00 AM for me, thanks.

Fran Lavery Â Stefan Nowina • Apr 24, 2020 at 00:41

Brilliant, Stefan! I'm such a damn rule follower.

Nicola Timmerman • Apr 22, 2020 at 19:52

We are not allowed to be politically incorrect anymore so my suspicion of why Sunday morning the RCMP took so long to send out an alert to Nova Scotians about the shooter will never be taken up by journalists. I believe the delay from 7 or 8 a.m. to after 11'o'clock was because the Gendarmerie Royale had to translate their alert into French before sending out the English version. The delay is so bizarre and resulted in more deaths as people ventured out thinking the coast was clear and not knowing the killer was dressed in RCMP uniform and drove an old RCMP vehicle.

Josh Passell Nicola Timmerman • Apr 23, 2020 at 04:58

With respect, Nicola, how long does it take to translate "keep your ****ing head down and don't answer the door to a Mountie" into or out of French? Give me a Larousse and I'd have something serviceable in minutes (albeit with tenses and genders decided by a coin flip). I see that the RCMP are the GRC in Francophone Canada, dropping any reference to chevaux. Might that have slowed them down?

Well, that's just great. I suggested "She Blinded Me with Science" as a suitable song for the lockdown playlist of a few days' back and had the good doctor with her lovely scarves who handles things so graciously during her time at the mike during the daily Wu Flu briefings in mind when I suggested it. And now the virus has claimed the bassist on one of my favorite 80's pop novelty songs.

Fran Lavery Â • Apr 22, 2020 at 17:40

Not only does it feel like China is preparing for war, it feels as if their allies are a boatload of Democratic Governors holding office today. Their oppressive tactics for holding the people who run businesses in utter contempt by not saying when they can open in the foreseeable future are killing us. Maybe that's their objective. Even out the playing field overnight! Make everyone poor! While schools are closed for the remainder of the school year the school district has been giving out thirty thousand free meals a day to school children during the weekdays and in some cases have hired drivers to deliver to households without transportation.

Kate Smyth Fran Lavery Â • Apr 23, 2020 at 21:04

"Maybe that's their objective. Even out the playing field overnight! Make everyone poor!"

You're right, Fran - and it's even worse than that. The pandemic is being used as a pretext to roll out socialism/ big government/ police state/ third-worldism. In just a few short weeks! Leftists were somewhat limited by pronoun offences, but now they can stomp all over everyone and everything without having to hold back.

Fran Lavery Kate Smyth • Apr 24, 2020 at 03:43

You know what I think, Kate! We better get our parents and grandparents out of the nursing homes and bring them back home where they belong. It's not safe for them there anymore. The big bullies at the state houses are coming after us and they're not even hiding it anymore. Drones, information collection, no access to our loved ones, no permission to attend to our business even though we're complying by keeping the doors shut to customers. This will not stand! We're having our own protest at city hall next week. Our county commissioners are holding a public hearing in a few days to hear from the people. This is a state with people that have no choice but to work. We have some of the fewest cases of the virus in the entire country here and the Governor has turned off the economic engine that drives our state. We're poor down here as a county while up north Los Alamos and Santa Fe are some of the richest zip codes in the country yet we're turned off.This has now moved into the territory of cruel and unusual punishment. People are not able to find the money to make it to the end of the week much less whenever she decides she's going to open us up again. I misspoke the other day and said we were told target date is May 15th. Just when I had a minuscule sliver of hope, I heard at the top of the hour today on the radio, no date is set to open our state. There is going to be hell to pay.

Bob Belvedere • Apr 22, 2020 at 17:28

How about starting the Brit Wanker Cop segment with a Monty Pythoner saying 'What's all this then'?

Elizabeth B. Bob Belvedere • Apr 22, 2020 at 19:26

Yes, and I wonder if the U.S. is ready for an "oughtabe (if not wannabe) wanker governor/mayor" segment. What do we think?Great show today Mark. Did lift my spirits. Great songs. And I was amazed at the quality of Mae West's voice at that age.

Totally agree that we need an "Oughtabe Wanker Governor/Mayor" segment. The sub-head could be "We didn't know they could stack "stuff" that high." First contestant is Andrew Cuomo for his "just get an essential job" response to people protesting the continued shutdown.

Garry from LSD (Lower Slower Delaware) • Apr 22, 2020 at 16:51

Continued thumbs up from all!!! Thank you veery much!Is there any truth to the rumor that Hunter Biden might be Joe's VP????

Until listening to this, it hadn't dawned on me that the Queen has been longer on the throne now than Franz Josef or Rameses II, although she has another four and a bit years to go, to catch up with Louis XIV.

Calvert Whitehurst Owen Morgan • Apr 22, 2020 at 18:09

However, Louis XIV had the advantage of being only five years old when he ascended the throne.

Owen Morgan Calvert Whitehurst • Apr 22, 2020 at 18:23

I don't suppose he ascended the throne, as such. He was probably lifted on to it.

CrossBorderGal • Apr 22, 2020 at 16:34

Thank you for continuing to offer these shows while normal animation is suspended. We mope through your "off days," and are noticeably cheerier when we wake up and realize that today you'll be ON! You are always on top of the latest news, but we also appreciate the relevant tangents and their context. Thank you, too, for your rich archive of Tales to which we escape in the evening!

Segnes Schonken • Apr 22, 2020 at 15:28

Great show: substantially brightened my confinement. I count myself very privileged indeed to have access.

Ray Winchester • Apr 22, 2020 at 15:04

Mark, do you agree the MSM should be turned off for 30 days. Continuous days per year. No MSM for a month.

Ray Winchester • Apr 22, 2020 at 14:51

If you could cast it on to Media there would be 100x . Listening on my phone in Aberdeen. Not the testing ground. Cross the Rubicon n NZ is singing and not as good as you. He just sounded like a strangled cat.

Josh Passell • Apr 22, 2020 at 14:43

In tribute--and with apologies--to the late Ian Whitcomb:

They're parking rickshaws where the camels used to be,ChiComs own what belonged to Araby.In precious boÃ®tes where billionaire tw*ts hailed from Iran,You're much less likely to bump into Mike Leigh than some bugger from Wuhan.For high tea at Brown's Hotel I recently sat,The gent at the next table sniffed, "What, no bat?"The waiter scraped and bowed, saying it was not allowed,But if it pleased the gentleman, they did a nice pangolin,And he satisfied himself with Lapsang Souchong and summa that.Oh, they're parking rickshaws where the camels used to be.A taxi? Are you having a laugh? It'll cost a fortune and a half.When for a pound or three you can tube to Piccadilly.At least until it's closed by Chairman Xi! (The man, the myth)At least until it's closed by Chairman Xi! (Don't call him Smith)At least until it's closed by Chairman Xi! (G'ahead, plead the Fifth)At. Least. Until. It's. Closed. By. Chairman Xi!!!!

Elizabeth B. Josh Passell • Apr 22, 2020 at 18:40

OK thanks, I was just thinking the same thing.

Brian from Minneapolis • Apr 22, 2020 at 12:23

I'd like to add on to my prior post that you eloquently discussed Mark. Where the "experts" are being educated should be taken into account as well. Many if not all of academia is left leaning and are teaching progressive and even China endorsed propaganda. If our "experts" all hail from the same institutions that utter such nonsense, then we have a problem. Colleges have become echo chambers for ideology and are expected to hear that echo when they leave the campuses. The rare few manage to take their experiences in these institutions and realize they can't leave their and be copies of their fellow classmates or poster child's of an approved ideology. They go to study in a field and actually want to solve problems. Rather than having degrees be a showing of hard work put into learning a field and that they're serious in solving the problems that plague humanity they instead have become a plague on humanity lecturing us on how they know more than the rest of us and they'll help us when they're good an ready.

Matthew Wilson Brian from Minneapolis • Apr 22, 2020 at 13:18

Like a Habsburg family tree, academia isn't open to outsiders.

Elizabeth B. Brian from Minneapolis • Apr 22, 2020 at 14:23

Good points...I once heard someone say that higher education is to know more and more about less and less, until finally you know everything about nothing.Or...we all know what "bs" is...so MS is more of the same, and Ph.d. is the same thing piled higher and deeper.Plus I'm not sure they want to "help" us at all.

Segnes Schonken Elizabeth B. • Apr 22, 2020 at 15:31

Brilliant, E. You may carry ma'am's books to the door of the staff-room.

Owen Morgan Matthew Wilson • Apr 22, 2020 at 16:47

A late academic of my acquaintance was brought up in a German-speaking family. He once went on sabbatical to a German university and found that he couldn't understand a word of what anybody was saying. Every faculty and department had its own unique version of German, completely (and intentionally) incomprehensible to outsiders, even ones who had spoken German from the earliest age.

Jeff Johnson Elizabeth B. • Apr 22, 2020 at 18:39

Here in Colorado, higher education has a completely new meaning and we're not talking about elevation. While my son is a professor at a Big Ten university, I do believe that he and some of his peers may have good intentions to help. Their ideology; however, makes them incapable. And yes, they are not prone to tolerate outside views in their ranks. All I need to do to put another brick in the wall is to start talking philosophy, politics, or religion with him.

Elizabeth B. Segnes Schonken • Apr 22, 2020 at 18:46

Thanks I think...or maybe to the staff bog?

Elizabeth B. Segnes Schonken • Apr 23, 2020 at 12:53

OK, yes, or maybe just to the staff bog!

Segnes Schonken Elizabeth B. • Apr 24, 2020 at 03:48

Indeed, E. But then, I was a problem child. I know, because they told me so.

Midwestern Tim • Apr 22, 2020 at 11:42

Just when I was running out of content to listen to up pops a new Steyn Show! From my imprisonment to yours, thanks, Mark.