Tag Archives: quiverfull

UPDATE: Never Mind, looks like everybody , including Yr Wonkette, fell for a fake/satire blog. Good golly, looks like those virginal young scamps from the Duggar Clown Car — not that we’re calling them clowns, mind you — just might have been in such a big hurry to get their own quiver full that they couldn’t wait to leave church before doing the nasty. Allegedly, maybe. The news is apparently a big deal to people who follow the 19 Kids And Will You People Just Go Away? televisual entertainment programme.
Read more on Duggar Wedding Scandal (Maybe): Did Jessa And Poor Ben Do It In The Church? (We Mean ‘Bone’) Update: No, Probably Not…

Just like last week, Daddy Duggar and spawn Jill are in Nepal, which means maybe we’ll have the joy of more casual racism from Daddy.
Do you know how much we’ve come to hate the intro credits where Mom Duggar reads the list of all the children’s names? ALL THE HATE.
Read more on 19 Kids And Counting Recap: The Courtship Suspense Is Killing Us…

We are thanking our lucky stars above that unlike last week, there is only one episode of the Duggar family saga, “19 Kids and Counting” to recap this week. Watching two of them is a level of torture we don’t deserve, no matter what we’ve done.
Read more on 19 Kids And Counting Recap: Let’s All Go To A Quiverfull Wedding!…

Last year, Douglas Phillips, the head of Vision Forum Ministries, one of those deeply creepy Quiverfull churches, and total superfriend of Clown Car Vagina Family Duggars, stepped down after revealing he’d had a “lengthy, inappropriate affair” with a ladyperson. He kinda sorta forgot to mention that the “inappropriate affair” was actually a 6-year pattern of (ALLEGEDLY, JESUS) grooming and sexually abusing one of his parishioners, which is actually a tad more than inappropriate. Now the woman, Lourdes Torres-Manteufel, has sued Phillips and Vision Forum Ministries and the complaint, as the kids say, is a doozy.
Read more on Let’s All Read This Lawsuit About Creepy Assaulting (Allegedly!!) Masturbating Quiverfull Pastor Guy…

Watch, if you can, this video of 21% of the Duggar children as they explain the secret to successful family life, especially how to do dating, or as these gals call it, “courtship,” because only sluts “date.” It’s “dating with a purpose,” they explain, aimed at finding a good Christian man to fill your quiver. And as it happens, the Duggirls — Jinger, Jill, Jessica and Jana — have a book out what is called Growing Up Duggar: It’s All About Relationships, WND would like to remind you, and we are pretty taken with its combination of Barry Williams’s title Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg and the most obvious subtitle ever — you mean to say that family life involves relationships? There’s an insight!
Read more on WND Finds Duggar Daughters’ Secret Of Happy Families. Spoiler: It’s Jesus…

Happy Blowvember, everyone! Yet another rightwing “pro family” leader has resigned after an extramarital affair; this time around, it’s Douglas Phillips, former president of “Vision Forum Ministries.” In a seriously icky resignation statement, Phillips writes
There has been serious sin in my life for which God has graciously brought me to repentance. I have confessed my sin to my wife and family, my local church, and the board of Vision Forum Ministries. I engaged in a lengthy, inappropriate relationship with a woman. While we did not “know” each other in a Biblical sense, it was nevertheless inappropriately romantic and affectionate.
“Inappropriately romantic and affectionate,” eh? We’re guessing “road head.” Because it’s Blowvember after all. Then again, is it inappropriately romantic to do it in the butt? Read more on Anti-Gay Anti-Girl Crackpot ‘Quiverfull’ Leader Resigns Following Affair, And Also It’s Tuesday…

Gawd, you people are awful. According to famous women-binding failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney the problem with you selfish dolts is that you simply won’t get married when you’re really young.
“Some people could marry, but choose to take more time for themselves,” Romney tells graduates of Southern Virginia University. “Others plan to wait until they’re well into their 30s or 40s before they think about getting married. They’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid.”
Right? Because Grey’s Anatomy is already into its ninth season. That show won’t last forever. Sure, you’ll probably still be able to watch it on Netflix, but then you’ll binge watch and miss that “so much of living” that comes from substituting mediocre network tv for sex every Thursday night at 9:00 Eastern/8:00 Central. Read more on Mitt Romney Wants All You 22-Year-Olds To Get Knocked Up Now, For Our Savior…

Hey ladies! How’s your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and if you do not want, say, 19 babies, then you are a heathen Communist Chinee. That is just so obvious we should not even have to say it, but apparently you are a Dumb Girl.
Luckily, the Christian Medical Association is here to explain that an insurance company offering you birth control even if your employer doesn’t want you to have birth control is not only abrogating your employer’s First Amendment right to determine your sex life (you are a factory worker in Macau, right?) but is also the first step on the road to China’s one-child policy and forced abortion. It is simply that simple. Read more on American Birth Control Mandate To Lead To Communist Chinese One-Child Policy! Everybody Panic!…