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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Well, the answer is obviously, "Scotty". I started listing reasons, and it's now become something of a mini-meme for me. So here are a few, and feel free to add yours in comments.

They actually did appear together, and even though 75 years out of the loop, Scotty STILL took Geordi's butt to school on transporter, impulse engine AND deflector shield theory.

Scotty's a miracle worker.

Geordi quoted impulse engine specs. Scotty wrote them.

Scotty could sport a kilt with nary a trace of embarrassment.

Scotty rocked the bagpipes.

Scotty could rule the Center Seat as easily as he ruled Engineering

Scotty was a badass.

Quote: "Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank." ( A Taste of Armageddon)

Quote: "The Enterprise takes no orders, except those of Captain Kirk. And if you make any attempt to board or commandeer the Enterprise, it will be blown to bits along with as many of you as we can take with us." (The Enterprise Incident)

Never once in his career did La Forge utter something as cool as, "there be whales here!"

Geordi drank "synthahol" (ugh). Scotty drank whiskey.

Scotty could drink an Andromedan under the table (and did!)

Scotty managed to drink the hard stuff without ever going blind.

Scotty started a bare-fisted barroom brawl with Klingons rather than allow the name of his Enterprise to be besmirched.

Geordi started out as a navigator: Scotty was born an engineer.

The first thing the infant Scotty did was bypass the flow regulators on his mother's teats.

Scotty dated flesh-and-blood women and risked his life for them (romantic!): Geordi fell in love with a program (pathetic!)

Scotty faced off with a god.(Who Mourns for Adonis)

Step out of line and Scotty will beam your ass into space. Wide dispersal.

Scotty invented transwarp beaming. Trust me, it's cool: "The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse." Yet, he does it.

Scotty canna break the laws of physics... but he's found a few new ones to play with.

Scotty keeps the formula for transparent aluminum in his head.

Scotty can beam a life-form from one planet to another... and someday they'll find that beagle and prove it!

Sybok couldn't take Scotty's pain... because Scotty doesn't feel any.

The Enterprise-D took five minutes to get stuck in an alien Dyson sphere... it took Scotty to get them out.