Achievement Unlocked: Roasted Potatoes Of Awesome

Hi, my name is Amanda (I don’t think I mentioned that before), and I’m a forgetful home cook. Actually, it’s about half forgetfulness and half procrastination. I’m a bargain shopper, so for the past most-of-a-year, I’ve been buying my potatoes in the six-dollar ten-pound bags instead of the four-dollar five-pound bags. Usually, they get used up in a timely manner; we’re a big household, and we go through a lot of potatoes.

Not this time, though. Standing in the kitchen waiting for a bolt of inspiration to strike, I spied the bag of white potatoes sitting atop the fridge. There were probably three pounds of tubers left, all of which were growing these horrid Cthulhoid tentacles and multi-eyed protuberances. Had I been more inclined to take pictures, I could have titled them with various Lovecraftian epithets; however, I’ll spare myself the public embarrassment should my grandmother ever stumble across this blog. (Hi, Grandma!)

Anyway, with a pot full of chunks of withering potato and the bag embarrassingly full of hacked-off spikes, I set about kitchen-foraging to figure out what the hell to do with them, besides simply slathering them in mayo. Here’s what came out.

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Infinitely Flexible Roasted Potatoes

Slice what feels like a pound of sprouts and eyes off of three pounds of potatoes. Slice potatoes into small (inch-ish) chunks and plunk in pot. Set to boil as you forage.

Realize while foraging that this endeavor may have been doomed from the start. You’re out of onions, black bean sauce does not go well over potatoes, and the boyfriend hates horseradish. Keep poking around. Discover container of lord-knows-how-old takeout wontons in fridge and eat them as you think.

Clean ramen bits out of colander (whoops) and drain potatoes. Do not do as I did and place the colander too close to the edge of the sink, spilling boiling water on your bare foot. Whoops indeed.

Preheat oven to 350ish. Melt half a stick of margarine in a measuring cup. Add glugs of steak sauce to make 1/2 cup of sauce. Realize this is not nearly enough for three pounds of potatoes. Add another half-stick of margarine and some glugs of Worcestershire sauce.

Tumble potatoes into dish and splash evenly with sauce. Sprinkle lemon pepper, garlic powder, and dill on top, because they’re awesome. Slide dish into oven and bake for approximately 35 minutes.

Remove from oven, let cool, and eat those suckers straight from the pan. Or, uh, you could put ’em in a bowl first. That’s cool too. 🙂