If yesterday's post picking the Best Trailers of Trailers of 2012 felt — appropriately enough — like a big ol' tease, don't worry, we've got all the full-length trailers from 2012 that made getting to the movies early worth your while.
Some of this year's most compelling trailers tantalized us with sweeping scores and songs (has the Les Misérables show stopper "I Dreamed a Dream" ever sounded so good?), memorable one-liners (or, in the case of The Master, ones that don't even appear in the actual movie), and things that make us go "Hmmm" in the best way possible.
A great trailer can, and should, play like a mini-movie and sometimes can be infinitely more entertaining in two minutes than an entire feature and the previews in 2012 were no exception. We laughed, we cried, we still can't figure out what Bane was saying in The Dark Knight Rises trailer.
Sit back, relax, grab some popcorn before the line gets too long, and relive the best trailers of 2012:
The Dark Knight Rises: "The Star-Spangled Banner" has never sounded so haunting as it did for the crowd-silencing trailer for The Dark Knight Rises. The entire two-plus minute trailer is heart-pounding anticipation, from Anne Hathaway's chilling warning that "a storm is coming" to that jaw-dropping football stadium sequence. This one had us chanting along from the moment we saw it.
Les Misérables: Okay, Hathaway, you win. You totally killed it in trailers this year. First you got our hearts racing in TDKR trailer and then you gave us goosebumps in the sweeping Les Misérables trailer. Broadway fanboys and girls lost it the minute they heard the actress' take on the iconic number "I Dreamed A Dream". Sorry Susan Boyle, this one takes the cake. (Well, the bread.)
Cloud Atlas: Oddly enough, the most musically satisfying trailer of 2012 wasn't Les Misérables, but the five-plus minute opus for Cloud Atlas. Using electro-rock band M83 to set the epic tone, the eye-popping preview for Tom Tykwer's and the Wachowski's ambitious adaptation of David Mitchell's beloved bestseller, it felt more like a thrilling, bizarro music video (especially when Tom Hanks looks like this) than a trailer, but it worked. Even after nearly six minutes we wanted more.
Life of Pi: Much like Cloud Atlas, fans of Yann Martel's majestic Life of Pi wondered how on Earth this could possibly work as a movie. As soon as they witnessed the awe-inspiring trailer (seriously, when was the last time a preview made you say "wow" out loud as much as this one?) it was apparent the material had gotten into the right hands: Ang Lee's.
Magic Mike: Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike may have been an unconventional drama about chasing the American dream (in a G-string) but the Brits had it right when they made a redband trailer for the male stripper drama. Sure, the U.S. trailer had that catchy Rihanna tune, Matthew McConaughey's swagger, and a glimpse of Channing Tatum's sweet dance moves, but there was one key ingredient missing: butts! Butts everywhere.
The Master: Perhaps the best example of a trailer that was better than the movie in 2012 (no matter what your feelings of The Master wound up being). When we first saw it we had a ton of questions. What the hell is this all about? Why is Joaquin Phoenix so upset with Philip Seymour Hoffman? Wait, is this the movie about Scientology? Okay, the preview and the movie never really answer any of those questions, but we're still talking about it, aren't we?
Beasts of the Southern Wild: In a million years, when kids go to school, they're gonna know, once there was a Hushpuppy (played by the unbelievable, talented well beyond her years newcomer Quvenzhané Wallis) who narrated the beautiful, soaring trailer for indie masterpiece.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower: There were plenty of movies that effectively used indie rock songs in their trailers (Celeste and Jesse Forever with Porcelain Raft's "Drifting In And Out" and Silver Linings Playbook's well-timed use of The Lumineers' "Ho Hey") but when Imagine Dragons' "It's Time" starts up in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we wanted to roll down the windows and scream along on the way to the theater. Nothing below average about this trailer or this movie.
The Impossible: The impossible is making it through the heart-stopping, lump-in-your-throat trailer for the movie about the inspiring true life story of a family who, against all odds, survived the devastating 2004 tsunami in Southeast Asia. If they gave Oscars based on trailers alone, stars Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts would already have them. Knowing what the film is about should make you cry in and of itself, but once Damien Rice's cover of U2's "One" begins, it's all over.
The Great Gatsby: Perhaps the most divisive trailer of 2012, Baz Luhrmann's flashy (3D?!) imagining of the literary classic thrilled some with its stylized vision of F. Scott Fitzgerald's world, and angered others who consider it sacred text. (What in the world is a Jay-Z and Kanye West collaboration doing in the 1920s?) Still, looks pretty great to us. Just too bad we'll have to wait until May 2013 to put on our beautiful shirts and see what else is in store.
[Photo credit: Warner Bros.]
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Not sure what timeline this news comes from, but it's happening: Chevy Chase is dropping out of Greendale Community College, effective immediately, a rep for the show confirmed to Hollywood.com. That's right, the show that can't seem to catch a break, Community, has lost one of its students.
The actor known as Pierce Hawthorne, has decided that his degree just isn't worth finishing up after a notably tumultuous three and a half years and four seasons. Chase has frequently been critical of the NBC series, who—despite low ratings—has regularly being a darling amongst rabid fans and critics alike.
In an interview with The Huffington Post UK, Chase explained his feelings thusly: "It was a big mistake [doing the show]! I saw this pilot script, thought that it was funny, and I went into the room where they were casting and said, 'I would love to play this guy.' Then they mulled it over. Then they hired me and I just sort of hung around because I have three daughters and a wife, and I figured out I might as well make some bread, every week, so I can take care of them in the way they want. My wife has just been in the Antarctic, and Cuzco in Peru, and Lima, and Machu Picchu... she likes to travel. That was about a month of travelling, and that will take about a year of work."
Chase's longstanding disdain for television has been frequently documented, including a quote from the same Huffington Post interview, where Chase put it plainly. "The hours are hideous, and it's still a sitcom on television, which is probably the lowest form of television. That's my feeling about it." Way to mince words there, Pierce.
In the end, though, Chase's departure won't effect the upcoming fourth season too much: the majority of the season has already been filmed (including the finale), so he'll only miss one or two episodes. Six seasons and a movie? Maybe, but something tells us Chase won't be involved.
Are you surprised by the news? Let us know in the comments.
[Photo Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/NBC]
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
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Our favorite fright fest, American Horror Story, has more twists and turns than a game of cat's cradle in a wind storm. But it's still made of slightly predictable tropes, some cribbed from traditional genre fare and some all of it's own. Here's an accounting of what happened in last night's episode based on the scariest thing of all: math. The spoiler-phobic should beware.
Dead Bodies: 1 (Wendy)
Times a Person Was Spanked/Slapped/Hit: 0
Times We Had to Listen to "Dominique" by the Singing Nun: 2
Cigarettes Smoked by Dr. Thredson: 0
Loaves of Bread Kneaded: 0
Sister Jude's Freakouts: 2 (on the phone, praying freak out)
Creepy Sex Things Dr. Arden Does: 0
Shots of that Creepy Crawly Bug Microchip Thing: 0
Aliens: 2
Consecutive Weeks with an Escape Attempt: 4
Successful Escape Attempts: 0
Non-Dr. Arden-related Sex Acts: 1 (Sister Jude with that rube at the bar)
Scary New Monsters We Only Get a Glimpse Of: 0
Flashbacks/Backstories: 5 (The story of the SS, how Anne Frank's tattoo, how Anne Frank tryed to kill her baby, Sister Jude's baby squirrel, the photo of Dr. Arden as a Nazi)
Butts: 0
Adam Levine Sightings: 0 (where the hell is he?)
Consecutive Weeks Without the Modern Story: 2
Nazi Hunters: 1
Ryan Murphy Shows in Recent Memory with Nazi Hunters: 2 (this and Glee)
Times Anne Frank Lost Her Accent: 4
Ridiculous Pet Names: 1 ("my cherub")
Monsters: 1 (Shelly)
Unsanitary Medical Procedures: 2 (the alien hysterectomy, the lobotomy)
Regular Household Items Dr. Thredson Has Made out of Body Parts: 3
Times the Serial Killer is Revealed: 1
People Who Saw Dr. Thredson Being Bloody Face Coming: 0 (and that's just the way we like it)
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Byron Cohen/FX]
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"I don't have any bread. I've given up sugar. I don't eat dairy. And I haven't had a drink in four months... That's what you have to do to make the character live. I did not want to be self-conscious at all onstage when I'm sitting out there with everything hanging out." Actor Cheyenne Jackson on his strict diet for new Broadway play The Performers, in which he plays a porn star.

Homeland has been relying on a lot of melodrama lately, and while I always appreciate some high-stakes emoting, there have been moments when things start to spill over to the silly side; most notable, from last week, the entire shootout ordeal and the extended car accident subplot. This week’s episode takes a lot of those borderline outrageous moments and centers everything once again, ending in some of the most sure-footed plotting I’ve seen on television lately. I think I gasped out loud at the weirdly easy complexity of it all.
The episode starts with Roya hanging out on along Brody’s running path; Roya is wearing a slouchy morning cardigan and looking super upset, which I guess is code that she’s ready for a meeting. Carrie is listening in on the whole thing, as Carrie will do, while Roya and Brody fight over the aftermath of the Gettysburg shootout, seeing as six agents are dead and the attack is all over the news. Scary. Roya is trying to keep Brody on her path towards higher power, but Brody is getting antsy. Duh.
Saul is visiting your good old local maximum security prison, where he finds Eileen – Saul drove from Mexico to DC with Eileen last season (Homeland flashed briefly to the episode during the “previously on” segment, which is always so nice of them), as she was an important piece of the whole terrorist puzzle that we’re always dealing with. The guard at the prison calls Eileen a “spitter, hitter, sh*tter,” which is just really funny. However, Eileen looks absolutely awful; Saul gets the poor woman released from her chains, and the two enter an interrogation room with some nice sunlight. Saul needs Eileen’s help with the mission at hand – he wants to know if she can identify the mysterious man that led the Gettysburg attack, but Eileen wants a cell with a window before she agrees to anything. The direction of this episode is absolutely gorgeous; there are some really beautiful shots, especially the angles used in the interrogation room and some upcoming caravan drama…
Quinn is alive and well in the hospital, because as I said last week, you cannot kill your most attractive season two recurring character after a three-episode arc. I think that’s a legitimate rule of television. Unless you’re Game of Thrones, where I’m afraid that the entire cast will just be killed every single episode. Carrie and Quinn gather the intel that there is no nuclear residue in the Tailor’s shop from Gettysburg, but that crate probably contained enough C4 to blow up a massive structure. Quinn, realizing he is the most attractive character on the show, hops out of his hospital bed and provides a side butt shot. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
That upcoming caravan drama! Finn and Dana are in the back of a limo en route to a nice white male fundraiser, where Dana comes clean that she went to the car accident woman’s funeral and that she wants to come all the way clean to the cops. Finn isn’t on board with this entire plan and just looks really bored in general, but Dana convinces the cute little bugger. I don’t think this relationship is going to work out, you know? In a different limo, Jessica and Brody and talking about Mike and the Tom Walker whispers; Jessica is wearing a fantastic dress, and Brody technically tells Jessica that he killed Tom. I say “technically” because Brody made up a lot of details and promised he was telling the entire truth to his skeptical/manic wife.
Some man named Rex owns the house that is holding the fundraiser, where Finn is clearly looking shifty from second one of arriving. Also, the Vice President’s wife, Cynthia, offers everyone lemonade; I would want some serious hard alcohol if I was about to walk into an entire epic day of fundraiser family weirdness. Brody steps out for a second to call Carrie – “How does my wife know about Tom Walker?” Carrie is going to deal with Mike, Estes is going to keep an eye on Brody during the fundraiser, and Quinn is going to continue taking a lot of prescription pain meds. Everything’s covered! For now!
Eileen has zero trust in any human beings, so Saul needs to show her that she has a windowed cell before she says a single word. That makes sense, as I would have the same bitchy attitude if I were in maximum-security prison. Saul meets with the warden in an attempt to speed up the whole window process, but the warden is a huge ass and basically questions Saul’s power/important. Bad move, bud. Saul will go around the fool, because Saul has all of the military clearance in the entire history of the world, but it will take more time.
Carrie meets up with Mike on a park bench thing, where Carrie tells Mike that he needs to “cease and f*cking desist” before he seriously screws with a matter of national security regarding Brody and Tom Walker. Or, actually, regarding Jessica. Carrie bonds with Mike because it is obvious that Mike is still madly in love with Jessica. Seeing as Carrie is still madly in love with Brody (I think? Can we confirm? Are we being played here?), the two have kind of maybe a lot in common. I don’t see them ever being friends however, so I won’t push Carrie &amp; Mike filling the Paris &amp; Nicole roles, respectively, to headline a reboot of The Simple Life.
Brody is being ogled by some awful woman in all pink at this fundraiser pool party (the fundraiser gets more confusing the longer the episode plays out); this woman looks like she is maybe related to Molly Shannon and was an extra in some direct-to-video Legally Blonde sequel. Leave Brody alone! He just survived life as a prison of war after he converted to Islam and become a sleeper cell! Elsewhere at the estate, the VP and Estes are screaming about “lunatics on the loose with their goddamned explosives,” and we all know that this is going to end poorly. Brody is suddenly in the middle of a horse barn with Rex – Rex confesses that he thinks Brody will be the President of the United States soon enough, and that is basically the only reason he is supporting the Walden/Brody ticket. Brody is all “I’m not the man you think I am, blah blah,” but no one is listening to him. I wish people would start listening.
Carrie is waiting in the trees behind the barn, and Brody comes to find her. I HATE THIS. Carrie and Brody and basically doing the dirty in the middle of the woods; however, we must remember that Quinn told Carrie to make sure Brody felt powerful and in control, as everyone is getting nervous of Brody’s crazy outbursts. The sexual encounter ends with a classic Brody moments – “I do feel used, and played, and lied to… but I also feel good. Two minutes with you and I feel good. How do you pull that off?” And it’s not fully a compliment to Carrie. Brody and Carrie have maybe the most terrifyingly exciting relationship on television right now.
Finn is wandering around the party chugging forgotten, which is what I would also be doing at this point in the evening because this party is horryfing. Dana is acting like a prissy little whore, screaming at Finn that they need to come clean. Hey, Dana – why don’t we wait till all of these rich political fundraiser fools leave before we start discussing your accidental murder? Thanks! Unfortunately, Cynthia and Jessica overhear the spat, and it all comes out in the open. Great work, Dana.
We must remember the poor folks that couldn’t make it to the fundraiser – Saul is still waiting around the prison, waiting to hear the okay from the Attorney General so Eileen gets her room; Saul brings a nice picnic of wine, cheese, and bread for Eileen. So sweet. Eileen mentions Saul’s wife, Mira, and we’re reminded that she is living in Mumbai and Saul’s heart is always bleeding. Saul finally gets the green light, Eileen reviews the documents about her room transfer with some nice glasses that Saul lends to her, and Eileen provides a name for the man – Mohammed Al-Gamdi (spelling is, umm, the best I could do – I’m sorry).
Quinn is in charge of the team to nab Mohammed, who lives near Newark; when the FBI raids the home of this shady characters, it turns out that Mohammed is a nobody musician that Eileen used to know from her family’s old security team. So…Eileen? Turns out the poor sad soul used the entire ploy so that she could kill herself, slitting her wrists with the shards of Saul’s glasses after finally getting her window. Saul let his emotions get the better of him, and the CIA team is floundering.
Brody goes for a midnight swim while Cynthia and Jessica get all of the murder details from the kids; Jessica is ready to take the information to Metro North, but Cynthia states she will take care of the drama. Obviously, Cynthia and the VP will make sure it looks like the thing never happened. Jessica is furious, and explains the situation to Brody; Brody decides to take Dana to Metro North himself. Finn and Dan maybe possibly break up forever, as Finn reveals the reason he liked Dana so much was because she didn’t understand the dark world of politics. Everything is politics.
Brody and Dana are walking up to the doors of Metro North, but Carrie is blocking their path. CARRIE. Estes made Carrie take over the scene, as Carrie had to make sure Brody realized the severity of the deed he was about to commit – if Brody called in the crime, he would break ties with Walden and therefore end his campaign for Vice President; if Brody lost his influence as potential leader of the United Statues, Abu Nazir would no longer need Brody and the entire CIA mission to find Nazir would fall apart. SURE-FOOTED PLOTTING! Homeland took some minor drama of a supporting character and wrapped it around the main arc of season two, woven so tightly that the politics surrounding Dana’s car melodrama is now crucial to the forward momentum of… everything. Oh, Homeland! I am so sorry that I ever doubted your greatness! POLITICS!
[Image Credit: Kent Smith/Showtime (2)]
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I'm just going to come right out and admit it: I have absolutely no freaking clue what happened on Survivor last night. Well, I know who won the challenges, who has immunity idols, who everyone thinks is evil, how many pairs of jeans Blair has (one), how many times I fell in love with Malcolm as he inadvertently flexed his abs at the camera (a trillion), and I know who went home but I am still not quite sure why he did. Yeah, last night's episode was absolutely nuts and it was awesome. This is why we watch Survivor people, and it's always at its best when anything can happen and everyone's in so much jeopardy that it's like 7 PM and Alex Trebek just said hi.
Everything started when Penner returned to camp after narrowly avoiding eviction with his hidden immunity idol. Now, if I was Jonathan Penner, the conversation would have gone like this: "What the flaming F)*@*()!$@ you guys? Aren't you supposed to be on my F)(%&amp;!_#* team? Do you really thing these other F%&amp;!*)($ people are going to keep you around and take you to the end? No. I was. I F*(%&amp;@!*#&amp; was and I came up with a whole plan and we had the F*$&amp;!) numbers and all you had to do was vote with me, but noooooooooooo. FO!*%&amp;$)! Jeff is so insecure in his manhood that he had to F&amp;(*!&amp;@%# get rid of me at the first chance he could get. Well, F*$ you, Jeff. F$%()@&amp;*% you deep in your F!$*(&amp; face." But that is not what Penner did. "No, what you did makes total sense, I get it. I understand you were right," he says. Everyone knows he was pissed, but he contains it. I give him credit for this, because screaming wasn't going to do anything but piss people off and give them another reason to kick him off, but I bet it would have felt really good.
Quickly everyone is off to the reward challenge, where they are divide into two teams and then swim out to get some puzzle pieces and then come back and put the puzzle together. Yes, it was basically every Survivor challenge in the history of Survivor. There was some digging though, so I got to see my man lover Malcolm getting down and dirty. Really dirty. I mean, it probably took him days to get all of that sand out of his crack. Oh, Malcolm, here, let me help you scrub down your back. Doesn't that feel good? Yeah, I bet it does. Wanna know what they're playing for? A cruise on a boat while they eat a bunch of BBQ food and corn bread and apple pie and other American cliches. Remember when the challenges were always like "Go off into the native village and eat what they eat," and we got to learn a bit about indiginous cultures and it was really interesting in an It's a Small World After All kinda way? Yeah, they don't do that any more. Now it's like, "Here is a Happy Meal from the Manila McDonald's. Chew on that, you fat American jerks."
Challenge, challenge, challenge; boring, boring, boring, and Penner, Blair, Denise, Malcolm (swoooooon), and Jeff go off on the Colonial Food River Tour Brought to You By Three Hour Tours, Crash Free Since That Gilligan Incident. Basically the only thing we learn on this is that Jeff looks like an ugly hog when he eats. Oh, that and that the "evil people" are Abi, Pete, and Artis and everyone is all afraid of them and think that they're mean and awful. Penner wants to exploit this because he knows that they all want to vote for him and send him home.
But this gives our beautiful Jesus-loving, gay-hating Blair an idea. She is no longer just along for the ride in this game, she wants to win, so Blair is thinking way past The Facts of Life and to the finish line. How does she get the $1 smackeroonies? By selling bread at Mrs. Garrett's bakery? No! By bringing people to the end who are awful. She tells Skupin that they need to get together with Abi, Pete, and Artis (a silent but vengeful god) and they need to get rid of Malcolm because he has the hidden immunity idol. Well, that is after they vote out Penner this week, which is an inevitability at this point. That is, well, that is a pretty good plan. I'm so glad Blair has finally come to life and is thinking about the end.
At the immunity challenge everyone has to jump over hurdles, limbo under sticks, unknot a bunch of bags containing puzzle pieces, and then cross the finish line. The first three over the line go on to the next stage, where they have to put their puzzle together. Somehow Penner gets himself across the finish line right before Skupin and goes up against Jeff and Pete for the immunity necklace.
Now is the part of the recap where I bitch about Jeff Probst. Jeff Probst loves Jonathan Penner more than itchy prostitutes love Vagisil. He just has a giant man-boner for this guy (which is why he's one of a handful to be brought back three times) and he will do anything to keep him in this game. At the beginning of the puzzle doing he said, "This could be a million dollar puzzle for one of you." Basically it was him saying, "Pssst, Penner. I love you. Do you want to get married? Well, if you don't want to get kicked off, you better win this freaking challenge because you're toast." Now, I'm not saying the challenge is rigged, but Penner won. He came back from behind twice and won the damn challenge. A man who has never once in his three times on the show won a challenge suddenly wins in the clutch. Yes, this makes for good television, but there was something about it that I just didn't buy. Was Probst telepathically giving him the answers to the puzzle or something?
Penner wins and absolute chaos ensues. I'm not even sure how to break it down. Everyone is scrambling and there are all these alliances old and new and it's sort of like watching a game of Musical Chairs except everyone is already sitting in the sand and CBS couldn't get the rights to any music, so it's just "Non-Musical No-Chairs" and someone is going home at the end.
Alright, so Blair goes to Pete and is like, "We need to get rid of Malcolm. He has the hidden immunity idol and he's a threat." Pete, like everyone else, doesn't want to listen to Blair. He goes to Malcolm and asks about the idol and Malcolm lies to his face and says he doesn't have it and that Blair is lying. Everyone believes Pete and Malcolm that Blair is lying.
Now that they can't oust Penner, the plan turns to kicking out Skupin, but somehow Blair (or maybe someone else, I don't know, I'm dizzier than a kid playing Pinata at this point) says they should save Skupin because they might need his vote later on. Instead, they should get rid of Jeff. See, Jeff, this is why you should have stuck with your original crew and drafted Skupin and RC. The last one an alliance is the first one out!
But then Malcolm starts worrying about his place in the tribe because everyone is talking about his idol and he gets a crew of six together to kick out Pete, which is a brilliant strategy because Pete is mean and a physical threat and without him Abi and Artis won't know what to do with themselves except stare at the ocean and get irrationally mad at things. As they're picking up their torches, Malcolmn gets Denise, Jeff, Carter, Penner, and Skupin into a new makeshift alliance.
This is usually my favorite part of any season, where the tribes crumble and some shifting occurs and everything gets frantic and unpredictable. If a player can wind up on top after this initial shuffle, usually she's good until only her alliance is left and then it's really every woman for herself. That is if the alliance that is made can calcify into something strong. This time, it was so intense that it didn't even end at camp, it continued on into tribal council. And any alliance seem so slip-shod that we're going to have to go through more Jerrymandering again next week (yes!).
I'm just going to say it: I usually think tribal council is boring. Everyone has already made up their minds who they're voting for and everyone just gives vague answers to Probst's leading questions. But last night. Oof! That was a hum-diggity-dinger.
We start with Blair, who is now like a serious power player, and she just comes right out and says, "We were going to vote out Penner, but then we were going to vote out Skupin, but he's too good an ally so now I want to kick out Malcolm because he's a threat and has a hidden immunity idol." "Does he have one?" Probst asks. "Well, I know there's been some gossip about it, so...yup," and he shows off the idol, which is the balliest move I have ever seen at tribal council. OK, give me a minute, I need to save the thought of Malcolm's balls. Then Probst asks, "Anyone else got one?" "Yup, I do," Abi says, holding hers up. So, all of that is out in the open now. That is good because Malcolm has an advantage now that everyone knows they have to vote him out twice to get rid of him. But it's also bad because he lied to just about everyone when he said he didn't have it.
Now there seem to be two different plans at tribal. Penner says, "I have six people and if they do the right thing, then this should all work." He means the Malcolm Six (which is usually used to refer to his abs, but not tonight) who want to kick out Pete. Then Blair says, "Well, I have an alliance too and they should stick to Plan B and everything will work out fine." She's talking about her, Skupin, Abi, Artis, and Pete kicking out Jeff. So, we have no clue what is going to happen. Who exactly are these alliances? Why Jeff? Does Penner think his six can really hold? Where the hell did Jeff get get a toothpick in the middle of the jungle to chew on? After all this drama about people wanting to kick him out and saying he was for sure going to play his idol, why didn't Malcolm play it? Are his balls really that big? Mmmmmm. Balls. I mean – So many questions!
Probst reads the votes and Jeff gets sent home. Say what? This was one of those nights where I had to watch the credits to see how everyone voted. Here's how it broke down. Artis, Skupin, Pete, Abi, and Lisa all voted for Jeff. Yes, Lisa's evil alliance actually worked. Malcolm only got four of the six votes needed with the old Team Lesbian (Jeff, Denise, and Carter) at his side. And Penner? Well, he voted for Abi. Why the hell did Penner vote for Abi, especially after his impassioned plea for the six to kick out Pete? Was he playing a double agent? Did he know that there was going to be a tie and, rather than vote Jeff off directly and injure himself with his old alliance, did he throw his vote away so that the other five could get blood on their hands? Was this his way to betray Jeff as Jeff betrayed him the week before? That's sort of what I'm thinking, but I really have no idea. I have no idea how we got to where we got, but I'm happy we did.
First of all, this is what Jeff gets for voting out Katie when he could have gotten Penner, but he was afraid to make a bold movie. Secondly, I'm glad that Penner outlasted him, proving his irrational fear of losing to Penner was well-founded all along. Third, what a jerk he was when he got kicked out. "I might have made $16 million dollars playing baseball, but I really want this million. And it's not even a million, it's only $600,000 after Obama takes his share." Oh my god, there are so many detestable things in this statement. Jeff Kent was a baseball player well known for his teammates hating him, but you never really saw that on the show. He seemed like a nice, even-keeled guy and a good, fit competitor. But what was he all along? A rich asshole fat cat conservative who doesn't want the government taking any of his money. (He also hates gays as much as Blair does.) So, good, Jeff, I'm glad you're going home. I may hate that Abi and hate (myself for being attracted to) Pete, but I hate you the most. And not for anything you did in the game, but what you said after it. I'm still not sure why you're gone, but I'm really glad you are.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: CBS]
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The Harry Potter star stunned fans by drastically slimming down, but French - who is dating charity boss Mark Bignell after divorcing funnyman Lenny Henry in 2010 - is learning to love her meals again.
She tells Britain's Woman magazine, "I've lost seven-and-a-half stone since I started making an effort and recently put about two back on.
"I lost the weight by denying myself quite a lot of things and recently I haven't denied those things as much. Bread and pasta and potatoes are my weakness. I went to Paris recently and I wasn't going to not eat bread!
"Generally I eat much more healthily and I eat less, probably half as much as I did before. I am very fond of this body - it's served me well and it's never disappointed me. I understand it, I know it and I even like it now it's all saggy, it's a mark of my journey this far."