Grotz: Family-first Reid should step back from gridiron

Eagles head coach Andy Reid has plenty of capable people working for him to whom he should temporarily hand over the reins of the team while helping his family cope with the death of oldest son, Garrett. (Associated Press)

But it's never the same when you've lost a loved one. Never the same when a cherished piece of the family portrait is gone, the word usually coming at the oddest moment from the most peculiar source.

Death is like that. It takes your world, flips it violently upside down and challenges you to do something constructive with it.

And so it is for Eagles head coach Andy Reid, who received the worst word a parent could get Sunday morning, about an hour before a training camp practice. He would be burying his oldest son.

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Twenty-nine-year-old Garrett Reid, who had been serving as the Eagles' assistant strength and conditioning coach, was pronounced dead in his dormitory room at Lehigh University. It will be weeks before the toxicology reports are in and the investigation is complete, but foul play isn't suspected.

It will take a lot longer for the Reids to heal as a family. In that vein, for the good of all affected it would be a prudent time for Andy Reid to take the rest of the summer off.

Nothing is more important than family. To coach or not to coach this season is easier addressed in September. Stay in touch, let the guys you trust run the operation, let the healing begin and come back when it really counts. Lean a little more on senior consultant Tom Donahoe, who helped build some pretty formidable Pittsburgh Steelers teams.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie doesn't anticipate a long layoff being the case, saying he "expect(s) Andy to be coaching this week," his work a therapeutic outlet for his anxiety rather than an imperative from above.

But there's no real reference point, no instructions, no formula for a coach to deal with tragedy such as this.

The son of then-Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy committed suicide late in December of the 2005 season. The Colts were 13-1 and had clinched everything they had to clinch when Dungy turned his headset over to assistant Jim Caldwell for a few weeks.

Dungy bravely stepped back into his post, but the Steelers, who would go on to win the Super Bowl, were better in the divisional round. The Colts were the first team to start 13-0 not to win the Super Bowl.

One month after the season Dungy spoke at an Athletes In Action function.

"People ask how I could come back to work so soon," he said. "I'm not totally recovered. I don't know if I ever will be. It's still ever-painful. But some good things have come out of it."

The following season, his thoughts cleared, Dungy led the Colts to a Super Bowl title. He would coach just one more season --- out of respect for the players who wanted to repeat --- before turning the job over to Caldwell.

Reid unquestionably has taken on a lot of responsibility this season. He seriously believes he has the Eagles pointed in the right direction. Rushing back from this immense emotional pain might not be the healthiest thing for himself, his team and most of all his family.

There are limits. And this is a good time to step back and figure out what they are.

The cruelest thing about death is the way it first takes away all of those special memories by churning up remorse.

Dungy's biggest regret was not giving his late son a hug, rather than a casual goodbye when they last were together alive the Thanksgiving before the young man's passing.

Family is forever. Football is not.

Whatever Andy Reid decides, he deserves the support of Eagles Nation. There's no right or wrong here, just to desire to try to pick up the pieces and heal.