BTW, I file these photos in the faithful performance of my duties as a Credentialed Member Of The Media. Whether they go out on the official wire or not is left to the sober judgement and keen professionalism slathered over the Layers Of Fact-Checkers And Editors of the MFNS Network like all get out. It’s just that this one almost killed me, that’s all.

Ed. Note: This rare and chilling picture was taken by a skilled professional who still damn near died in the act. Please do not attempt to photograph a Flotopotomus yourselves at home. They are mean-tempered, highly unpredictable and they’ll eat anything. Above all never – never ever – get between a Floto and her Tamales.

OK, enough talk. Here – in its worldwide exclusive debut – is the amazing, blood-curdling snapshot, taken from a still of the eagerly-awaited industrial film “Potential Health Hazards Of Strip-Mining The Serengeti”.

UPDATE 6.29: As announced in the comments, the Middle Finger News Service has picked up my Feral-Man-On-The-Street report and included it in their incisive coverage of the Obama African Family Vacation. PLUS – and you may want to sit down for this – they have also accepted Yours Truly as a member of their Super-Elite Corpse of Correspondents which is practically like The X-Men which means I am MEDIA BISHES! Bwah-ha-ha-haaa!

Adding to her reputation as one of the most fashion-forward First Ladies ever, Michelle Obama appears in a traditional Senegalese Wookie Suit to show off her newest ‘do’. Pictured here standing in support of Senegal’s outlawed LBGT community, she demonstrates once again her fearless and daring personal style along with her unceasing advocacy for perverts everywhere.

“What should be the Federer vs. Nadal of state-level competition has become a lopsided trouncing: Texas has humiliated its opponent in straight sets. The federal Bureau of Economic Analysis is out with its state-by-state economic growth numbers for 2012, and Texas is dancing the two-step all over California’s “recovery.” The Hill reports:”

“The most telling indictment of California’s performance? If you removed oil and gas from the Texas economy, the Lone Star state has still outpaced growth in California. Apologists for the Golden State shouldn’t forget that it is in possession of two-thirds of America’s proven shale reserves, a treasure trove that rivals many resource-rich sovereign countries.

The BEA also found, to the shock of all concerned, that while California was experiencing the largest tax hike in US history, the national economy grew at eight times the pace of California’s. The Texas economy, by contrast, grew 71 percent faster than the national economy that year.

Finally, and most disturbingly, the US Census Bureau found that between 2009 and 2011, California had the highest supplemental poverty measure in America, with 42 percent more people in poverty as a share of the population than Texas. This can’t all be chalked up to immigration either: illegal immigrants account for the same percentage of Texas’s population as they do California’s.”

See, Obamacare needs young, healthy people to sign up into the state exchanges. Forecast premiums in California (which are based entirely on vapor, since they have no idea how many will actually enroll) are around $12,000.00 per year. The alternative is a 1% tax on income, as a penalty for not having insurance. That’s not hard math. Any sensible young person would be better off paying the penalty and waiting to pay insurance premiums when they get sick. This works because pre-existing conditions cannot exclude anyone from coverage.

This is entirely unsustainable of course, but that is the plan and has been all along. When the state exchanges fail there will be no alternative but to have the Feds step in and take over. Then we get the government-run healthcare that Obama wanted from the start. Utterly devious, yes. But that’s the Chicago Way.