I'll take your food questions over flatulence questions

I have a question from some guy that has to do with flatulence. He said he was concerned enough to ask his pastor about this.

People.

People, people, people.

First of all, I have enough trouble dealing with your real questions, however misguided they might be. But if you ask me, this question reeks of being made up.

Who in the world would ask his or her pastor about flatulence?

Look, if you want to make stuff up, save your energy. Just leave such matters to a pro such as myself, which I say with all modesty.

Let's move on, shall we?

Why do some foods, such as hot soup, make your nose run?

Well, I suppose it depends on what you mean by hot.

Some spicy -- hot -- foods contain the chemical compoundcapsaicin and an oil that I've never heard of and that is really hard to spell.

This stuff irritates the soft tissues in your nose and makes you produce more mucus so your nose runs.

I don't know what kinds of soup you might be eating, but I suppose just the heat of it is enough to set your nose off.

When the mother of my children used to get her annual bad cold and get all stuffed up, I used to give her about a tablespoon of my homemade horseradish -- which is rich in that capsaicin stuff -- on a cracker. It usually straightened her right up, even if just for the short term.

My homemade horseradish, if I do say so myself, would take the top of your head off. Unfortunately, when my father died, that was the end of my supply of the raw materials.