The 10 Worst Mistakes That Porn Is Teaching Us In Bed

Pornography has been a constant in our society’s sexual arousal since history began. It’s the only sexual partner that has never let you down. However, it’s important to remember that porn isn’t real. It’s a performance which unfortunately has left some individuals with inaccurate expectations about what actual sex entails. Use the following list to guide you away from the fiction and hopefully keep you out of any embarrassing trouble.

A massive penis is important. For some girls, this may be the case, but for the most part, it’s not. Male pornstars are often hired exclusively for these well-endowed features. It’s not fair on your own penis to compare it to other penises that literally make money just for their presence. Furthermore, the cliché is true and it’s how you use it that truly matters. Each woman will have her preference, but if you’re too far out of the average size one way or the other, it’s not going to be ideal for your partner.

A woman will always look attractive during sex. Not always. Give this a test and Google your favorite pornstar without makeup. What you need to understand is that porn is an accumulation of flattering touches including cosmetic teams, fancy lighting techniques, and practiced orgasm faces tailored towards the male fantasy. Real sex may include a close-up view of pimples and ugly facial expressions. In fact, if your girl is pulling a particularly ugly face today, you’ve probably hit a really good spot. Keep it up!

Go hard and fast and she’ll orgasm. More than likely, she won’t. It’s unlikely that a woman will get wet just because you’ve revealed your penis to her. You need to take your time, warm her up, kiss her, tease her, learn what she likes, and then work with that. Foreplay is skipped in porn because we, the viewers, don’t have enough time. In real life, however, the build-up can often be the most rewarding aspect of the whole exchange. And at the end of the day, remember that this is a pornstar’s job.

You’re supposed to last for hours. Nope. The average ejaculation timeframe is around five minutes, and even if you’re quicker than that, it’s usually nothing to worry about. Most girls will be satisfied with a decent dose of adequate foreplay and perhaps a second round later. Furthermore, an hour of nonstop sexual activity will most likely hurt everyone involved. Truthfully, if each sexual encounter took an hour to complete, nobody would have time for anything else. Those who are suffering from regular premature incidents, however, should go and speak to a medical professional. There are many ways in which they can help.

Sex is always going to be incredible. It’s not. Sex is sweaty and stinky and if you really think about it, actually quite weird. She might queef. You may suffer a moment of awkward eye contact. You might cum too quickly. You might lose your erection. You both might regret everything once it’s all said and done. Even those porn films with a peak level of chemistry will still be further edited to perfection. You’ve gotta deal with the whole tape, my friend.

No one wears condoms. They should! The professional porn industry has some very strict STI testing regulations while your average sexual exchange will not have been so rigorously pre-examined. Trust me, nobody’s thrilled about wearing protection. It doesn’t feel great, but you know what probably feels much worse? Genital herpes. Respect the girl who asks you to wear a condom. Respect her more than ones who don’t.

Women are hairless creatures. Not all women. The trends are slowly changing, but there’s still an abundance of clean-shaven women all over our computer screens. This isn’t always going to be the case in real life. Hair grows back. People are busy. It’s a woman’s choice as to what she does with her body hair and it’s not up to you to encroach on her decision. That said, you should be trimming your pubic area. It makes your willy look way bigger.

The more complicated the sexual position, the better. This is incorrect. The sole intention of most pornographic positions are to open wide and let the camera in. Many pornstars also use this stage to flaunt their flexibility skillset. At best, these contortions will be tiring and uncomfortable. At worst, they may even be dangerous. By all means, spice up your sex life with porno poses, but for the most part, you should just relax and enjoy yourself.

Any action goes. This depends on the woman. In contrast to porn, threesomes are a complex venture to pursue, especially once feelings are involved. Anal sex isn’t on every female’s to-do list and that’s totally fair. Squirting is exceptionally uncommon, and calling a woman by dirty misogynistic names might provoke her to leave mid-sex. That said, some girls are really into all of this, and to those ladies, I salute you. As always, just have a conversation to avoid any future mishaps.

Your semen is adored by all. Not quite. If your partner swallows, then consider yourself lucky. If your partner has approved the facial finale of love, then have a blast. But remember that this is a discharge of bodily fluid. You should be appreciative of whatever permission you have been granted.

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Published by Jared Woods

As a child, Jared could always be found in the corner of his room nearly crushed to death by piles of paper, as he scribbled down words faster than his thoughts could produce them. As time has gone on, these very same words have found a home on the blog Juice Nothing, where Jared's mental demons have been read around the world, over a million times and counting. His first self published book, This Is Your Brain On Drugs, was released in 2016, and he now spends most of his time writing scripts for animators, composing terrible music, or painting cartoon characters that nobody will ever buy.
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