Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Monday, June 18, 2007

You have certainly noticed that I have changed the look of my blog. It was just a way to avoid monotony and give the blog a personalised presentation.

I wish it were as easy as this to change my own look. (It seems that I’ve started getting bored even with myself recently) :)

For those who would ask what the inscriptions on the banner mean, this is the Chinese calligraphy of my name: Kaoutar. I made it on the website http://www.chinese-tools.com/ where you can have your name’s calligraphy made on different paintings. I have made a few modifications on mine though to make its dimensions fit the banner.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Now excuse me! Is this nightmare ever going to end??! The Palestinians are killing each other. The Palestinians and the Lebanese are killing each other. The Iraqis are killing each other!!! (And let’s not talk about the Sudanese who are killing each other, Syria and Lebanon that need just a spark to start killing each other...!!) Excuse me but whatever the reasons are, this is just irresponsible and enraging!

They say religion unites. Aren’t Hamas and Fatah, Sunnis and Shiites all Muslims after all? Aren’t they supposed to support each other and save what they still can save of their collapsing countries instead of destroying each other?

They say blood unites. Aren’t they supposed to forget about political gains and turn to the chaos consuming their countries instead of shedding that same blood that unites them?!

I’m sorry but whatever political analysts, spokesmen and supporters might say, what I think about this is simple: Nothing can justify what’s going on there. Palestine, Iraq and Lebanon neither have time nor the means to squander in civil wars – not to say in wars - full stop. This nonsense has lasted too long and must stop now!

Friday, June 8, 2007

That morning, she woke up with total amnesia. Her transition from the world of sleep into that of reality was slow, as if she were coming up from an endlessly deep black hole. At the second she moved her eyelashes, a flow of light flooded her eyes. But no thought crossed her mind at the beginning; a total blackout. Then slowly came questions: where she was, what day it was, what time it was. And why she felt that strong impulse to stand up.

She had to leave her bed; something urgent was calling her. She had to stand up, and she did, but in her mind first before her body made the slightest move. As she used to do every morning, she slowly sat in her bed, bent her legs and kept contemplating her pillow for long seconds, the time to regain her consciousness, and then made her first step out of the bed. Her feet touched the floor, and a new day begun.

This was exactly what she saw herself do, but only in her mind. She was unable to turn that daily waking up scene into a physical deed. There was something heavy tying her to her bed.

“My bed? This isn’t my bed!” she realised with the confusion of a half asleep mind. The colours of the blankets were different. Their smell was different. And light was not coming from her window as every morning. There was no window at all at her right. A slight movement up with her eyes showed her a totally different scenery from that she used to see everyday. Her blue lampshade placed at the centre of the ceiling was replaced by square sets of neon light! Light! Too much light was disturbing her eyes and the room was so cold. She needed to cover herself and hide the light attacking her eyes!

Again, her movement was heavy, slow, weak, negligible, inexistent. For a moment, she thought she must be still asleep. She was probably having one of those nightmares in which we are unable to walk or run as if our legs are chained. But the light seemed too real. Yet, the situation seemed just like a nightmare, and she didn’t know how to free herself from it. Fear started sneaking into her heart. She didn’t know where she was and why she was unable to wake up. She didn’t even know whether she was asleep.

But there were much other things she didn't know about. She didn’t know that she was probably never going to wake up again. She didn’t know that a lot of things had happened since she last fell asleep... three days ago while she was driving her car. She didn’t know that she had been in that bed for three days, unconscious, and totally paralysed. A lonely woman lying in some hospital’s room n. 147.