Good writers spend ages searching for the perfect metaphor, the one that makes everything make sense. Agnostics spend their years searching for some sign that a higher power guides the universe. Look no further, heretics (and Marlins beat writers). Everything was revealed today, in the midday sun at Yale University in New Haven, Conn.

A delivery truck carrying seafood drove over the York Street sidewalk and crashed into the front doors of the Loria Center around 10 a.m. this morning. No one was injured in the accident.
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"I'm embarrassed, that's all," the driver of the truck said. He declined to comment further.
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The truck was delivering fish from the Branford-based Connecticut Shellfish Company. A second truck arrived around 11 a.m. The two drivers worked together to transfer the first vehicle's boxes of shrimp, lobster meat and haddock fillets into the second truck.

"'I'm embarrassed, that's all,' the driver of the truck said." This is every Ozzie Guillen press conference in 2012. And the truck full of fish? It ruined Jeffrey Loria's fancy new building before all the fish were transferred to another truck. Really, it's all here. Now, please, excuse me—I have to get to the sukkah before sundown.