Manhood

The Rebuttal: Why You Can't Learn To Be A Real Man

To discredit my (non)argument, Mr. McKay likens manhood to anything else requiring extensive practice and preparation. Following his logic, you wouldn’t declare yourself a scientist without first engaging in years of study to learn the trade. Why should manliness be any different? It’s different because he’s comparing apples to oranges — that’s why. It’s like saying one person’s just as good at math as another person is at writing. It doesn’t make sense, because one is concrete and the other is almost entirely subjective and abstract.

Regardless, if you want to continue that line of thinking, realize that it is an inarguable fact that you can study or practice a subject until you’re blue in the face, but it doesn’t guarantee you’re going to ever become a qualified practitioner or expert in the field. That being the case, are there males out there who can try all they want but never become “men”? Do some males just not have what it takes? With that logic, there are males out there who will waste not just years but entire lifetimes chasing an ideal that was never attainable for them in the first place. If there’s any course of study related to becoming a man, it’s called “growing up and not dying and learning from life experiences.”In the end, and circling back around to the actual point of the last article (commoditization), this is a business. All of it.

I have no doubt that what Mr. McKay posts is sincere and genuine, but realize that at the end of the day, it’s a niche website that’s found and targeted a very narrow yet captive audience that pays them some kind of income through ad revenue and book sales. Similarly, AskMen is a huge online magazine that makes its living by appealing to the largest fan base possible through a broad band of subject matter. If nothing else, it should be a reminder to you that everywhere you turn, there is someone or something that’s looking to slot you into a demographic and profit from it. All the more reason to give less regard to what makes you a man and to instead focus your energies on being one and bettering yourself as a human being regardless of gender or demographic. There is action, there is contemplation and there is inaction through over-contemplation. Find a balance.

If you still insist upon relying on for-profit websites for your inspiration and guidance, why not step outside of your comfort zone? If there’s any real, deeper value to be gleaned from websites prescribing a certain brand of masculinity, it’s in finding material that challenges your perceptions and reminds you that there’s a world outside of the box you find yourself living in. If nothing else, be glad that there are forums and outlets like this for two men to discuss their beliefs while attaching their names and faces to them, and openly accepting criticism and feedback. If that’s not manly, I don’t know what is.