Meet Fred Karger, the First Openly Gay Republican Running For President

Presidential hopeful Fred Karger is anti-war, pro-pot and single-handedly revealed that the Mormon Church bankrolled Proposition 8. He’s also an openly gay California Republican Jew who has a major hard-on for Ronald Reagan! But whatever. If a half-Muslin Kenyan from Kenya can be commander-in-chief, why can’t a gay Jew from Laguna Beach? (This question would look exceptional on a bumper sticker/man-thong.) We scored exclusive CPAC partytime interviews with Fred Karger and Dan Choi, both of whom support Fred Karger, so you must clicky click and watch these videos!

Here is Fred, discussing how he was banned from CPAC. He got himself a Marriott bedbug suite anyway and then hosted a crazy rave, just out of spite. Total badass:

Oh hey, we also talked with openly gay West Point Army Man & Fred Karger supporter Dan Choi:

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

Michael Steele's the only Reagan obsessed pol who will currently talk to her, so now she has another one.

But seriously, in my book any gay person who'd volunteer for the military is already a little confused, being a Republican is just another example of an existing issue.

GOPCrusher

Having served with many gays in the military, I don't see a problem with it, they have the same motivation that straights have to voluntarily join (no job or no hope for advancement).
But agreed, why any gay person would willingly support a political party that has as part of their platform to destroy you, is simply a form of self-loathing.
Kind of like Jews For Hitler.

keliel

Have him on the show.

mumbly_joe

Or he would, if Ron Paul weren't around to poach away the pot-head anti-war gay conservatives who are also white supremacists.

HELisforHEL

Oh, beat me to it. But yeah, the Pot-Head block is pretty fucking stupid (legalization rights being their only real concern), so Paul probably remains their man.
(I have nothing against pot, just idiots who base their vote on it. It's like being against Obama because Michelle wants you to put down the Frito's–oh wait, that's the latest republican talking point, isn't it?).

mumbly_joe

Honestly, I don't even terribly mind people who are one-issue about the Drug war, per se. I do mind the way the Ron Paul campaign often approaches it, and use it to turn around any criticism on their white supremacist ties, as in "Not only are we not racist, but if anything, black people should vote for us, because we'll end the drug war".

And the thing that gets me is that it's not even a bad position in and of itself -a disproportionate number of African Americans end up in prison, and an absurd percentage of all prisoners are in there for drug offenses, so it is, indeed, a civil rights issue in some ways- but it's just the way they always talk about it, is always brimming with Unfortunate Implications- implications that, given the rest of the Paultard base, are almost certainly intentional. Uhh, I'm pretty sure most African Americans aren't happy about what crack has done to their communities, and also feel that the criminal justice system is unfairly biased against non-whites, at the same time, thankyouverymuch.

I'm just saying, it's not like Ron Paul ever claims that he's so popular with hillbillies because he wants to legalize meth, after all.

HELisforHEL

Well said! You got to the heart of it more eloquently than I ever could. Very good points, there. (tips imaginary interwebs hat)

PristineODummy

Gah! I should hate you for making that excellent point so eloleq … equolol … you sayz it rite.

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Damn it Mumbly, you're always a step ahead of me with the witty remarks and what-not.

Sincerely,
B'sBT (formerly Joementum!)

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Over Ron Paul's deflated blimp he does!

Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

Budgets, polls, deficits: all Republican numbers are imaginary. Why should this be any different?

AngryBlakGuy

…having a "negative" chance of getting elected is like having a negative chance of getting laid. That is when a girl tells you that she would rather take part in a "Donkey show" gang bang that would be filmed and shown to her parents, as well her future children before she would have sex with you!

jim89048

I still cling to that last shred of a chance…

jjdaddyo

You call it "Donkey Show Gang Bang", Republicans call it "Abstinence Only Sex Education".

AngryBlakGuy

…explains a lot doesn't it?!

mumbly_joe

Wait, so that was a "No"? Here I assumed she was suggesting an idea for a date.

jus_wonderin

I do think they can test this at the Large Hardon Collider in France.

http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

Yup, square root of -1 oughtta do it.

Negropolis

You express such a low probability with the invisible hand, of course.

He should change his name to Freddy Kruger. That'll get everybody's attention.

emmelemm

Oh, I love you, horror movie reference. Many thumbs up.

http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

Shorter Riley: Feed Your Head!
~

V572625694

Hooray! It's Jefferson Airplane day on our Wonkett.

SudsMcKenzie

Show me your Barmitzvatificate

http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

There are Jewish country music performers and Jewish professional wrestlers. There are gay Republicans and pro-pot Republicans. There are even black Republicans — more than two of them apparently. The new Rhode Island congressman is gay, Jewish, and Italian.

The mental Venn Diagrams are making my head spin. I don't understand the world at all, apparently.

WriteyWriterton

The cure to your confusion is to marry a lapsed Catholic, like I did. Then you can produce Ukrainian-Jewish-Irish-Lithuanian offspring, half of whose ancestors probably murdered the other half. Repeatedly.

http://wonkette.com i_like_tigers

It sounds like you are a man/woman with a plan….

WriteyWriterton

I always plan. Mind, my plans usually are catastrophically unsuccessful, but they're, you know, plans. I would have been great in George II's administration.

"Invading Iraq for no good reason is crazy, but it just might work! And so what if it doesn't?"

SorosBot

One of my friends in school was a Pakistani-American Muslim woman dating an Indian-American Hindu guy; it's a nice thing about America that we've got people who are supposed to hate each other instead fucking each other. Sadly the wingnuts just sees them all as unwanted browns (just as the conservatives of the past saw Eastern Europeans, Irish and Jews as unwanted non-WASPs).

WriteyWriterton

I read some anti-Irish propaganda from the turn of the 20th century a while back. Hair-raisingly vicious garbage.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

I bet if you did a search and replace that swapped "Irish" for "Messicans" or "Muslins" it would be pretty much indistinguishable from what the wingnuts are churning out today.

HELisforHEL

Absolutely correct.

doloras

Even scarier, get some Nazi propaganda from the 30's and substitute "Muslin" for "Jew". It's a dead fit for the Pammy Atlas / Glenn Beck mantra.

Sophist [APPLESAUCE]

The Nazis thought Jews were the secret love children of Malcolm X and were going to build a victory synagogue in the smoking ruins of the Reichstag?

doloras

Substitute Karl Marx for Malcolm X and you're dead right.

WriteyWriterton

Well, we tend to be swarthy, and that doesn't go over well with lighties.

mumbly_joe

I regret that I have but one fist to give.

Though, it's actually even more chillingly on-the-mark if you do that, and also replace the references to communism with Sharia. "[unpopular religious minority] is trying to take over our country and replace it with [scary foreign political system]," etc.

WriteyWriterton

Yep.

PristineODummy

NINA. No Irish Need Apply, under the "Help Wanted" signs. Indentured servants, their indenture carried down the generations. Truly disgusting.

(sorry I don't know how to do that red linkey whatchamacallit dealy thing)

BlueStateLibel

One thing that really says a lot about the GOP is how they really attract the nuts. The whole lot of them could really benefit from some strategic electro-shock therapy.

emmelemm

I'd say cattle prod up the ass, but then they'd probably like that, wouldn't they?

http://wonkette.com i_like_tigers

Today we are all openly gay California Republicans running for President (with contemporaneous hardons for Ronald Reagan.)

GOPCrusher

If by contemporaneous hardons you mean raging piss boners, then Yes, Yes we are.

AngryBlakGuy

…this years CPAC seems like one long and bad LSD trip! You got a black Colonel Sanders waving a shoe saying that the rent is "too damn high", you got Ron Paul winning a straw pole and then getting booed, you got Michele Bachman's empty psycho eyes and now you have a gay, anti-war, San Francisco Republican?!?!

SudsMcKenzie

right before I drift off to sleep at night, I imagine Sir Hunter S. Thompson "checking in" on the first day of CPAC.

chickensmack

Also, you get your first chance to look at Sarah Palin: Also-Ran. That can't be twittered enough.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

But does he have Bieber Fever?

http://wonkette.com i_like_tigers

It's kind of like SARS, but way dreamier.

EatsBabyDingos

Vote for me-I have three testicles!

SayItWithWookies

And in a previous lifetime, Mr. Karger was the only vegetarian member of the Donner Party.

Radiotherapy

Hey, Wooks, did you know how old all the kids in the Donner Party were?….Eight!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

I think Reagan's 11th Commandment is going to take a beating with this guy.

mavenmaven

Scoff all you want, but between Choi and Karger they cover 100% of their respective demographics.

http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com HurricaneAli

FREE FRED KARGER THERE IS PLENTY OF ROOM@@@@2111`!!!

PristineODummy

I'll take two, thanks.

jus_wonderin

History has taught us that if a gay Republican hangs around the GOP for a certain amount of time…he will find another Republican that wants to "love" him.

SaintRond

Jesus, God… These people are so fucking toxic. I think one day the people at Wonkette are going to wake up screaming and screaming and they're never going to stop.

Seeing Sara Benincasa doing a rendition of Edward Munch's "The Scream," is not an image I want to imagine. But I'm afraid that's just what we're in store for here.

facehead

Watch out Republicans, Fred Karger just got the Waggaman bump!

http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

When I'm sure that what he actually wanted was the Waggaman bump and grind…

http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

It's like that other rule: If you're black and Repubican, you get to be on teevee.

sati_demise

Oh Dan, poor guy, must have Stockholm syndrome.

SenileAgitation

Herman Cain/Fred Karger 2012: Let Different People Keep Things the Same

mourningnmerica

Fred is like the girlfriend who won't move out no matter how many times you get drunk and beat the shit out of her.

mourningnmerica

Choi is the single most confused person I have ever heard speak. Ever.

Jukesgrrl

I see one Waggaman hand and one Karger hand. Where are the other two?

http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

William S. Burroughs (RIP) could have done a lot with those two. Karger on stage on in front of a camera, Choi in bed or bending over a chair.

http://wonkette.com/ weejee

Riley, maybe CPAC is telling Karger that his chances are goyem, goyem, gone. Just sayin'.

HELisforHEL

I truly don't understand why so many folks who live in trailers in East Bumfuck, Arkansas will vote for the republican 'no tax increase on incomes over $150k' platform either (again & again)–always voting against their better interests, thinking someday they'll be allowed in the club or something.
Dear gheys and poor people and women with functioning brain stems and a sense of dignity: republicans/neoconservitards don't care about you, don't like you, and really just wish you'd go away. When will you understand that?

PristineODummy

Reeeellly? That's all? They just "don't like" us? I mean, here I was all worrying and everything because I thought they had, like, a secret agenda to wipe every last fucking one of us out as soon as they could, and all. Whew!

Thanks, HEL. I'll sleep better tonight.

gullywompr

Anti-war, pro-pot, openly gay California Republican Jew?

I'd hit that.

littlebigdaddy

Perfectly positioned to lead the Party of Boner!

carlgt1

I find Fred & Dan quite annoying — they have the luxury to be openly out of the closet because of the many on the left who have been fighting reich-wing thugs for decades. But they'll throw everyone else under the bus for what, a few percentage points cut on their taxes?

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Why do you have to hate on Riley like that?

indysocco

Oh goodness, my ill will is reserved for CPAC assholes and their misguided supporters. Riley is totes adorable, not to mention a hero for going to the (bloated) belly of the beast.

Bonzos_Bed_Time

Yeah, that's more like it!

Pragmatist2

When Barry Goldwater ran the joke was "Wouldn't you know it. The first Jew to run for President turns out to be Episcopalian."
To this we add "And the second turns out to be gay."
Unless you count Lieberman, who turns out to be nuts.

ttommyunger

Lieberman wants to be gay, he just can't find the energy.

chascates

I don't mind voting for a gay but the Republican part has me a little hesitate. What is his stand on legalizing marijuana and giving it away free to baby boomers?

ttommyunger

No doubt his running mate will be that political newcomer from the Carolinas, Alvin Green, just to make sure the kiss of death is firmly affixed to their chances.

Blendergoathead

Well, at least now I can delete "Gay Californian Republican Jew" off my list of unlikely stereotypes who I would suspect are completely fucked-up in the head.

Negropolis

Wait, am I the last person on earth that didn't know that Choi was a Republican? I don't knnow what to believe, anymore.

Muslin_vs_Satin

…wait so why is he a republican?

babyeinstein

wow. anti-war, pro-pot, and in favor of freedom of choice when it comes to private matters of sexuality?

a real, live republican. haven't seen one of those in like…what…over 100 years?

PristineODummy

I was going to explain, but I see jus_wonderin has already done it, and much better.