102-Year-Old Woman Gets Arrested To Fulfill Bizarre Bucket List Wish

Getting arrested is a bad time. It’s a solid reminder that you aren’t invincible, and it’s actually kind of a blow to the ego. We all want to think we’re badass, but sometimes those sneaky cops beat us at our own game. Plus, no one likes to be bound in handcuffs in a non-sexual manner. And holding cells are hella boring, with nothing to do but thank your lucky stars you’re not the crack whore sitting next to you. Or, I imagine that’s what getting arrested is like. I wouldn’t know, because I’m a safe, law-abiding citizen. Obviously.

For one 102-year-old Missouri woman, getting arrested isn’t a shitty ending to a drunken night; it’s the dream. Edie Simms requested that St. Louis police officers handcuff her and place her in the back of a police cruiser, to fulfill an unusual bucket list. Police officers were happy to oblige, which doesn’t exactly surprise me, as StL is my native hood and the officers there are notoriously thirsty for a pair of wrists to slap some ‘cuffs on.

Okay, this shit is hella sweet. I’m glad she was able to enjoy her ride, as the rest of us who have spent time in the back of police cars most likely had a very different experience. I just really love old people, you guys. I pray I make it to an age where I can casually spill bizarre requests and have them fulfilled, all because I’m cute and dainty and frail.

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Lucky Jo is a former and current TSM writer who likes her men how she likes her coffee: way too hot and unforgivably bitter. She graduated from the University of Missouri in 2016, proving that C's do in fact get degrees. She now spends her days working for a social media marketing agency, hiking with her dachshund, and trying to bring back the scrunchie. Hate mail and goat memes can be sent to lucyjmulvihill@gmail.com.