Reflections

My partner and I were going to try the intimidating position tonight; however, life interfered, and he returned to work. It may have been perfect timing considering I′m not so sure how successful I would have been pushing a penis into my throat as I am still recovering from a cold. He will be gone for a little while, allowing me to process my attempts and practice on my own.

I think practicing solo will be extremely beneficial. As comfortable as I am with my partner, making these attempts with him present brings a set of watching eyes, an audience, maybe even a judge. I don′t want to gag; I even felt the slightest embarrassment when I did. I think if I were to buy a dildo to test and desensitize my gag reflex by myself, I could be more uninhibited and more comfortable the next time I try it with him.

In this experience, I have found deep throating to be a process, at least for me. The reading primed me, gave me new perspectives, techniques, and practices. The lube gave me a flavored aid, something to get things sliding. I built on what the books discussed, using them to create my own knowledge and experiments. They were my starting point.

Breathing and focus. That is what it is all about, what facilitated my small success, my first step. I have never been so appreciative of how yoga has taught me breathing, patience, and body/muscle control.

This is just the beginning. He′s in for a whole lot more attempts because I fully intend to keep learning and perfecting.