Orlando Brown is going with the Tom Brady combine philosophy

If you take away Brady’s 5 Super Bowl Trophies, 3 MVPs, 13 Pro Bowls and 5 All Pro selections; he an Orlando Brown are basically the same person. Especially now that Orlando Brown might overtake Brady as the worst combine performance of all time. 14 reps at 225 might be decent for your typical roided out gym bro, but when you’re a 6’8” 345 pound NFL offensive line prospect, 14 reps is what we in the biz would call…shitty. After that miserable performance in the weight room you might have thought maybe he’s more athletic than strong. Nope…he followed up the miserable performance in the weight room with a record-breaking 5.85-second 40-yard dash. If you’re trying to figure out what record that breaks, it’s the slowest 40 in combine history. I guess if you look at the big picture, he’s only about a second and a half slower than John Ross.

My first thought was that Brown is just a lazy SOB, who figured he didn’t need to train hard before the combine but then I heard the story about how when he was 13 he weighed 450 pounds! Then I realized he’s just a fatty. As a recovering fat kid myself, I sympathize with Orlando. It’s tough being the slowest AND weakest kid on the playground…especially when the kid with one hand is stronger than you (shout out Shaquem Griffin for throwing up 20 reps). To me this makes Orlando Brown even more similar to Brady.

If you forgot or didn’t know, Tom Brady had a terrible combine and wasn’t very athletic growing up. If you did forget, don’t worry ESPN and every other media outlet will remind you 10,000 times between now and September. Knowing this I don’t think you can really knock Orlando Brown’s combine performance. If Tom Brady is the GOAT, then why would you not model his path to the NFL? First step is to tank the combine like a third of the teams in the NBA. Then all you gotta do is stop eating tomatoes, start eating avocado toast, start wearing Uggs, marry a supermodel and get drafted by Bill Belichick. It seems to me that tanking the combine might be the hardest part of that whole formula. Although asking Orlando Brown to stop eating something might be an uphill task…especially if that food item comes on a burger.

After writing this blog, I’ve realized Orlando Brown is receiving too much hate for his combine performance. With that I’m going to start a campaign to help improve his draft stock/get him drafted by the Pats. Use #OrlandoBrownTheNextGOAT to help spread the movement.
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