But once you’ve stolen it, what would you do with it? It’d be hard to sell – no fence is gonna touch a whole ocean. Then there’s the possibility that the animals IN the ocean might notice and feet grumpy; not to mention one or two navies noticing the extra-low tide…

“You can’t have everything in world. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright.

You can actually steal an ocean. You do it the same way you steal land. It’s like the magic trick were the magician makes a giant landmark disappear … he moves the audience, not the landmark.

Ownership is defined by the ability to make decisions about the use of the owned object. When you own land, you have the recognized right to make decisions about the use of that land. Same goes for ocean. The Dutch and the English established the basis for modern international maritime law starting back circa 1600.

As a practical matter, you own land/ocean if you exert unquestioned military control over the area and can physically blow up anyone who tries enter it without permission. If you’re better at blowing stuff up on that area of the earth, you own it. That’s what “sovereignty” means.

So, to steal an ocean, you just leave it right were it is and, instead, you move the people off it with threats of or actual violence. Now you get to make all the decisions about the use of that ocean, including fencing it another party.

As a benefit, you get to keep the handy pre-made storage container the ocean came in.

“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t saddle a duck.”
Did you hear about he millionaire that left his fortune to a trust so that hookers could go to agriculture colleges? They kept flunking out. Just goes to show you that “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”