Thursday, April 28, 2011

Brian Eno told a story about U2 drummer, Larry
Mullen. When he was producing All That You
Can't Leave Behind Eno gave
Mullen a click track (computer generated
beat) to play drums over, as a way of keeping
everything in synch. Mullen swore the click
track wasn't right, and refused to play
over it. Eventually Eno adjusted it -
but just to humour the drummer, as he knew
it couldn't be at fault. Except he later
found Mullen was right. The click was off
- by six milliseconds! "The thing is," said Eno,
"when we were adjusting it I once had it two
milliseconds to the wrong side of the beat,
and he said, 'No, you’ve got to come back a
bit.' Which I think is absolutely staggering."

Phil Donahue: But [capitalism] seems to reward not virtue as much as ability to manipulate the system.

Milton Friedman: And what does reward virtue? You think the Communist commissar rewarded virtue? You think a Hitler rewarded virtue? You think - excuse me, if you’ll pardon me - do you think American presidents reward virtue? Do they choose their appointees on the basis of the virtue of the people appointed or on the basis of their political clout? Is it really true that political self-interest is nobler somehow than economic self-interest? You know, I think you’re taking a lot of things for granted. Just tell me where in the world you find these angels who are going to organize society for us.

A Canadian human rights tribunal has ordered a stand-up comedian to pay a woman $15,700 after he insulted her and her partner at a show. Lorna Pardy says amateur comic Guy Earle discriminated against her based on gender and sexual preference, the Vancouver Sun reports. The owner of the..."

Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans: The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' saidCaliforniaSenator Barbara Boxer . 'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'

In a Capitol Hill press conference, Nancy Pelosi (D) and Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (a whopping 83%).

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most inept employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-managementpositions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?

'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Ken Miller, who lost his position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to his inability to remember 'righteytightey, lefty loosey.' 'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Miller added. With the passage of this bill, Miller and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty aslawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.'

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

ORLANDO, Fla. – Florida officials are investigating an unemployment agency that spent public money to give 6,000 superhero capes to the jobless.

Workforce Central Florida spent more than $14,000 on the red capes as part of its "Cape-A-Bility Challenge" public relations campaign. The campaign featured a cartoon character, "Dr. Evil Unemployment," who needs to be vanquished. More here.

This kiai master challenged anyone to fight him for a $5,000 prize if they could beat him. His challenge was accepted by a MMA fighter. There was no surprise ending... except to the lib master... and his mystified students.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Al Gore told young green energy advocates Friday that progress on global warming must come from a strong grassroots movement that can counter the oil and coal lobbies, which he alleged have “paralyzed” governments.

Gore – who compared action on global warming to the Civil Rights movement – was the keynote speaker at Power Shift 2011, a Washington, D.C. conference attended largely by college students. More here:

Yes, the evil energy lobby has paralyzed our government. It's so paralyzed that it stopped drilling in the gulf, added massive taxes to gasoline, is regulating coal out of existence, and has it's boot on the throat of BIG OIL. Speaking of paralyzed ... how's your wallet doing? Notice anything when you pull out of the gas station? Sweet, eh? The best part is how the government makes more on a gallon of gas than the oil companies.

I think it's far past the time to put our boots on the throat of "Big Government."

Nevada Seismologists are keeping a close eye on an area southwest of Hawthorne, Nevada where hundreds of earthquakes have been detected since Sunday.

"It's a little bit concerning in a sense.. The largest earthquakes in these sequences are pretty large in size." Graham Kent is Director of Nevada Seismological Laboratory at the University of Nevada Reno. He says there have been hundreds of earthquakes southwest of Hawthorne over the past few days. The largest-- recorded at a 4.4 in size.

"These are the biggest in a sequence we've seen at least in the last couple of years." Kent says unlike the 2008 quakes in Somersett that damaged so many homes, these earthquakes are fortunately not underneath a community.

Size is not the only reason Kent says they are watching the swarm of quakes closely. The location of these quakes is on top of a fault that has until now remained unknown or has not been active. Kent then made an eerie comparison, "Whats really interesting about most of these earthquakes we've experienced. Short of the Chilean and Japanese; Haiti, Baha, even Christchurch.. Were on unknown faults. Really? On "unknown" faults? But they're known now, right? Or could it be that new faults were created by the earthquakes? No way to know eh? Quite the snake-handling, isn't it?

By the way ... did you know that earthquakes could swarm? I didn't ... I'm much smarter since I read the article though.

But Kent says just because those devastating quakes happened on un-named faults does not mean that the series of quakes near Hawthorne will lead to a big quake there. Reno, Carson City and the Las Vegas valley all lie on top of fault lines. And right now, there is no way to predict where the next big quake will occur. From here:

No way to predict ... LMAO -- No shit.

Yes, have you ever noticed that all cities seem to lie (OMG) "right on a fault line?" Are there any nuclear reactors that aren't on fault lines? Seriously -- wtf?

WASHINGTON (AP) - The government is changing air traffic controllers' work schedules following another incident of a controller falling asleep on the job.

The Federal Aviation Administration says it happened early Saturday morning at a radar facility in Miami that handles high altitude air traffic. A controller fell asleep while on duty.

The FAA says 12 other controllers and two managers were working at the time.

The sleeping controller has been suspended.

FAA chief Randy Babbitt says changes will be made to work schedule that have been identified as most likely to cause fatigue within 72 hours. More here:

Yes, it's the FAA's work schedule that was at fault ... either that or perhaps the guy was partying 'till midnite just didn't get enough sleep the night before ... you know ... one of those two, but PROBABLY not his fault, right?I mean the chances are so remote that there is no need for the jourrrrnalist to even wonder or mention the possibility.

I wonder who makes more mistakes ... pilots or controllers? Does it matter?

I love the fact that idiots jourrrrnalists assume it's the end of the world if a plane has to land at an "uncontrolled" airport. That's right ... a commercial pilot with thousands of flying hours would be come-ass-pletely flummoxed if he had to land at an uncontrolled airport ... he would be totally lost ... if by totally lost you mean "use the procedures for landing at an uncontrolled airport."

Instead, the government solves the problem by doubling the payroll expenses at every airport with one controller and flailing over work schedules like they've just been attacked by Darth Vader riding a shark.

The founders of the three largest online poker sites were indicted on Friday in what could serve as a death blow to a thriving industry.

Eleven executives at PokerStars, Full Tilt Poker, Absolute Poker and a number of their affiliates were charged with bank fraud and money laundering in an indictment unsealed in a Manhattan court. Two of the defendants were arrested on Friday morning in Utah and Nevada. Federal agents are searching for the others.

Prosecutors are seeking to immediately shut down the sites and to eventually send the executives to jail and to recover $3 billion from the companies. By Friday afternoon Full Tilt Poker’s site displayed a message explaining that “this domain name has been seized by the F.B.I. pursuant to an Arrest Warrant.”

Aren't you glad the government is squandering the hell out of your money to steal the freedom of people who aren't hurting anyone? That's right, it doesn't matter if you're hurting anyone or not, you'll conform to our religion do as we say.

Now, how about:

Removing the shackles on drilling, refining, and transportation of oil? No?

The president, in an unscripted moment with donors in Chicago, was talking about the need to innovate in technology.

"The Oval Office, I always thought I was going to have really cool phones and stuff," he said during a small fundraising event at a Chicago restaurant. "I'm like, c'mon guys, I'm the president of the United States. Where's the fancy buttons and stuff and the big screen comes up? It doesn't happen."

Oh shut up, you idiot. Have you ever noticed that Obama loves to say "I'm the president?" I noticed it a long time ago and I'm always making fun of him for it. It's a little window into his pea-brain.

Here he is at a press conference where he says it five different times.

Obama: "I'm the president" - at 10:48 - at 22:00 - at 32:45 - at 1:08:38 - at 1:10:25

Authorities have determined there is no emergency need for a 13-year-old girl to be on medication, after the girl's mother was accused of medically neglecting her by not giving her a psychotropic drug.

The girl has been in state custody since Child Protective Services workers showed up to take her, prompting an hours-long standoff between her mother and police. More here and here:

Seriously? Is this where we are now? I mean:

1 - A SWAT team?

2 - Who is this "government" now? They're so all-powerful they can force you to give psychotropic meds to your children?

Folks, I hate to tell you but our government has FAR overstepped its bounds. It long ago breached the firewalls in the Constitution and is finally now in a headlong rush to seize your remaining freedom. I hate to tell you that the Republicans don't seem very intent on changing things. Perhaps I'll feel differently if they ever show some nads and toss Boehner out of the speakership.

I'm going to reserve my final judgment on Boehner for after the next two fiscal fights - the new budget and the debt ceiling. This recent "cut" of about 35 billion doesn't impress me one bit. ... just one more thing that convinces me Boehner isn't up to the job, he's just another Washington politician who craves power. These doofi need to stop concentrating on limiting abortion and start concentrating on limiting government.

The critics arehating it. It's almost as if they're ALL libs - lmao. At least Ebert ALMOST reveals he disagrees with the premise ... yes, ALMOST ... but not quite.

Meanwhile, the discount bins are littered with slobbering crap the critics loved and many movies have made big money after being thoroughly panned by these geniuses. It's like a pattern.

Still, I wonder if the movie has an "ending." After all, it's "Part 1" -- is that clear to the audience? I wonder how that works.

Also, I thought it was supposed to debut on April 15th. How did these slugs get to see it early? How does it benefit the public to let braying jackasses see the movie early? Is it because they'll refuse to review your movie if you don't let them have it early? Well, we can't have that now can we ... we might miss a dollar.

Speaking of that, better make sure all the theaters have a spare popcorn machine ... one of those breaks down and the whole night's profit is shot to hell. "Sorry sir, the popcorn machine is down ... maybe you'd like to pay $10 for a candy bar instead ... go ahead, sir ... it will help alleviate the feeling that you might have to go home without being peeled like a grape ... a moronic grape.

Hey, I'm not putting down movie peeps. Even a mental giant such as myself pays for popcorn at a movie theater. Mmmmmmm, $12 bucks? Wow, I hope it's stale!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Politicians steal untold trillions and the media covers it up ... but let some poor bastard take a pen and suddenly it's "newsworthy."And the media wonders why it has no credibility. "Why are we losing viewers and readers like never before. Why are more and more people wising up? Why aren't they voting the way we tell them? It's a real mystery.

By the way, if you're thinking of writing me to correct me about "stolt," save your breath ... email Wombat instead ... he really wants to hear your thoughts about things like this.

SANYA, China (Reuters) - Japanese authorities may be exaggerating the scope of the country's nuclear disaster to reduce the liabilities of insurance companies, Russia's nuclear chief said on Wednesday.

Japanese officials on Tuesday upgraded the severity of the emergency at the tsunami-damaged Fukushima Daiichi plant to a 7, putting it on par with the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster, the world's worst.

"It is hard for me to assess why the Japanese colleagues have taken this decision. I suspect, this is more of a financial issue, than a nuclear one," Sergei Kiriyenko said on the sidelines of a meeting of major developing economies in southern China.

"I guess that maybe it could be linked to the definition of force-majeure with regard to insurance. I would pay attention to that. It is a bit strange," Kiriyenko said without further elaboration.

Ha ha. I love it when people, companies, and nations behave in a ridiculous manner in order to avoid lawsuits, don't you? Well, we can't really blame anyone, can we? After all, it doesn't really cost us anything, right?

House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer has joined President Obama in conceding that he blundered by voting against an increase to the government’s debt ceiling.

“I have voted against the debt limit in the past. That was a mistake,” Hoyer (Md.), the second-ranking House Democrat, said in an unprompted admission to reporters on Tuesday.

His comment came two days after White House adviser David Plouffe said Obama made a mistake by voting against raising the debt ceiling when he was a senator.

Democrats are urging Republicans not to jeopardize the economy and the full faith and credit of the nation with talk of voting against raising the $14 trillion debt ceiling before the borrowing limit is reached in July. But the Democrats' own votes against raising that ceiling during George W. Bush’s presidency are coming back to haunt them.

The National Republican Senatorial Committee attacked Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.), who voted against raising the ceiling in 2007, for “flip-flopping” on the issue when she called Republicans “profoundly irresponsible” for threatening to do the same thing.

Hoyer said he voted with other Democrats against lifting the debt ceiling when Republicans were in the majority to protest what he said were irresponsible GOP fiscal policies, such as tax cuts for the wealthy.

In the Senate, a spokesman for Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said Reid has previously stated that he “believes he should have voted differently.”

Other Democratic senators stopped short of declaring their previous votes a mistake. Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) voted against the debt-limit increase in 2006 “to demand a course correction from the Bush fiscal policies that had turned record budget surpluses into record deficits with no end in sight,” Kerry spokeswoman Whitney Smith said.

Christian conservatives often decry the silencing of faith by major network television.

But Sunday night on CBS’ hit reality TV series “Undercover Boss,” people of faith had their breath taken away by what they witnessed, sparking a Facebook and Twitter avalanche of support and praise.

On Facebook, Kini Se remarked, “Loved the episode of 'Undercover Boss' last night. It is the BEST one yet. It is great to see you praising the Lord on National television. The entire time, I had tears running down my face. It was real, it was true and inspirational. God bless you and your family.”

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Not only is this an interesting and well-written review of the soon (very soon - if you live near a big city) to be released movie, but it's an outstanding blog. I guess it's going to be made in three parts, but maybe if the first installment is popular (i.e. profitable) the rest of it could be made in an epic four-hour piece.

Monday, April 11, 2011

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) -- In a courtroom in Wichita, the day begins much as it has for the past 49 years: Court is in session, U.S. District Judge Wesley Brown presiding. But what happens next is no longer routine; it's a testament to one man's sheer determination.

As lawyers and litigants wait in respectful silence, Brown, who is 103, carefully steers his power wheelchair behind the bench, his stooped frame almost disappearing behind its wooden bulk. He adjusts under his nose the plastic tubes from the oxygen tank lying next to the day's case documents. Then his voice rings out loud and firm to his law clerk, "Call your case."

Brown is the oldest working federal judge in the nation, one of four appointees by President Kennedy still on the bench. Federal judgeships are lifetime appointments, and no one has taken that term more seriously than Brown.

"As a federal judge, I was appointed for life or good behavior, whichever I lose first," Brown quipped in an interview. How does he plan to leave the post? "Feet first," he says. More here:

Mmmm-hmmm. On the surface, I love it ... you know ... as long as he isn't some dumbass lib clinging to power (as they are wont to do.) If he's just a regular American then we're probably all benefiting from his experience.

It's been my experience that the older you get the less likely you are to believe a bunch of horseshit liberalism. Not saying it's impossible ... just less likely.

I found this guy ... and he's pissing me off. He REFUSES to submit to government's authorit-EYE. THAT'S RIGHT ... nobody's gonna keep him down.

He is resisting. Notice his toes. He INSISTS on clinging to the last vestige of standing. Those toes should be pointing backwards and HE KNOWS IT ... BUT HE REFUSES TO GIVE IN!!!

Now listen to me, I know you resistor types are out there. Just keep this in mind. I have an eye for detecting the myriad ways in which your resistance manifests itself ... and when the world is mine, your death shall be slow and painful ... capisce?

"BAIL'EM OUT!!! ???? Hell, back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.. They failed and it closed.. Now, we are trusting the economy of our country, our banking system, our auto industry and possibly our health plans to the same nit-wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey?!"

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Stacy Schuler turns herself in at the Warren County Courts Building in Lebanon, Ohio.

A gym teacher in Ohio who allegedly had sex with several high school football players now faces multiple counts of sexual battery.

Stacy Schuler, who has been on paid administrative leave since mid-January when the claims first surfaced, was indicted Friday on 16 counts of sexual battery and three misdemeanor counts of offenses involving underage persons, the Dayton Daily News reported.

The 32-year-old is accused of having sexual relations with students on five different occasions in 2010, officials with the Warren County Prosecutor’s Office told the newspaper.

Most of the incidents involved members of the Mason High School football team, authorities said. More here:

Oh those poor, poor, football players ... just the thought of them being forced to undergo such mental trauma ... the mind boggles. How, OH HOW, did they manage to keep sane? I wonder if any of them managed to take photographic evidence of the rare and elusive male orgasm?

I don't know about you but I feel much better every time we stick one of these witches in prison. Also, making them register as a sex offender and stealing their ability to make a living in their chosen profession is icing on the cake .... cuz ... GOTCHA, WITCH!!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

The first time I barbecued a brisket, I took it out of the WSM and sliced it immediately. I was surprised to see a rush of juices run out all over the cutting board! Afterward, I wondered why the meat was so dry?

My experience is an example of why it's important to let meat rest after cooking and before slicing.

The Mechanics Of Letting Meat Rest

In the book How to Cook Meat, authors Chris Schlesinger and John Willoughby state that as meat proteins are heated during cooking, they coagulate and squeeze out some of the moisture inside their coiled structures and in the spaces between the individual molecules. The heat drives this liquid toward the center of the meat. In the book CookWise, author Shirley O. Corriher reveals a bit more detail: as meat proteins cook, they begin to shrink. Up to 120°F, the proteins shrink in diameter only and there is little moisture loss, but above 120°F the proteins also begin to shrink in length, which really puts the squeeze on moisture. By 170°F, most of the moisture will be squeezed out of a lean piece of meat.

As meat rests, this process is partially reversed. The moisture that is driven toward the center of the meat is redistributed as the protein molecules relax and are able to reabsorb some moisture. As a result, less juice runs out of the meat when you cut into it. Willoughby claims that if you cut into meat right away, almost twice as much liquid is lost than if you let it rest before carving. More here:

Fast-food restaurants would be forced to yank toys from any kids meal with more than 500 calories, under the bill Comrie introduced yesterday ... More here:

Well, lookie here ... some dumbass liberal hypocrite wants to steal your freedom ... to save you, of course. He's very interested in your welfare. His only interest is in the "greater good" and the way things outta be (according to his genius, of course.) Yes, you'll be shocked to discover he's a "Democratic."

Wombat pointed out the fact he has an interesting last name ... Comrie. Perhaps he changed it from "Commie" because it was too "on the nose."

Hey, fatso, I wish we could "ban" you from consuming too many calories (we'll be deciding how many is "too many" ... for you) ... and then we'll fine and harass your fat-ass in court every time you go over ... how would you like that, you jackass.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Former International Atomic Energy Agency chief Mohamed ElBaradei, who had previously announced his intetions to run for the presidency of Egypt, said Monday that “if Israel attacked Gaza we would declare war against the Zionist regime."

That's right ... the terrorists in Gaza launch missiles into Israel all the time BUT ... "if Israel fights back attacks Gaza we will declare war." How dare Israel fight back ... how dare they "attack" poor defenseless Gaza ... HOW DARE THEY!!!! VE VILL KILL ZEE JUICE!!!

Seriously, these people are insane. They're like libs. They hate juice, they blab continuously, they think they're geniuses, and yet, they make no sense at all.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Friday, April 1, 2011

According to the Huffington Post, this is the 2nd greatest April Fool's day prank of all time. They call it a "pretty impressive prank" as if convincing the listeners of NPR of anything is difficult. I mean, you take the most gullible audience of all time and then act like you put one over on them? Well done!

Other "greatest pranks of all time" here... Huffington Post. Note that these are the very same "greatest pranks of all time" as last year because it is the Huffington Post after all and why should they provide fresh and current content?

U.S. consumers face "serious" inflation in the months ahead for clothing, food and other products, the head of Wal-Mart's U.S. operations warned Wednesday.

... inflation is "going to be serious," Wal-Mart U.S. CEO Bill Simon said during a meeting with USA TODAY's editorial board. "We're seeing cost increases starting to come through at a pretty rapid rate." More here:

Yes, even a stupid/evil Klown with no education knew it and yet the communists our intellectual betters in Washington missed all the signs. Hey, I guess the media missed all the signs as well ... otherwise wouldn't they have been howling like banshees for the last couple of years as Obama and the Democratics squandered trillions?

Nope, instead the media are constantly telling us how smart the Democratics are and how utterly stupid the conservatives are. The good news is the poor are well positioned to lose purchasing power as well as pay double for gas (since Obama took office.)

Hey -- you know whose fault this is? That's right, the evil rich (and corporations) forced the government to print all that money out of thin air. Those evil rich/corporations are also forcing themselves to abstain from drilling for oil. They also have imposed stiff EPA regulations on themselves so it's no longer profitable to build refineries. In addition to that, they're sure to waste tons of cash to conform with self-imposed EPA restrictions on transportation of oil. (By the way, it's free to conform with regulations, did you know that? That's right, doesn't cost a penny.)

Keep voting as the media tells you, as they steal your life right from under your nose ... baaaa bleat.