Rush to buy NFL team, fulfill dream of ‘owning a bunch of black guys’

Rush Limbaugh’s plans to rename team ‘St. Louis Monkeys’ comes under fire from NFL for being overtly racist

What Edward Jones Dome Scoreboard will probably look like if Rush Limbaugh purchases St. Louis Rams. His hatred of SJax borders on insanity, especially considering he's the Rams best player.

ST. LOUIS, MO – Radio host Rush Limbaugh has never liked the idea of African American NFL quarterbacks, but until now he’s only been able to make racist comments about the topic. However, it might only be a matter of time before he can actually do something about it. Rush is rumored to be part of an ownership group that is hoping to buy an NFL team, and fortunately for Donovan McNabb- it’s the St. Louis Rams.

Sources close to Rush say that owning all or part of an NFL team would fulfill his dream of “following in my great, great grand-daddy Scooter’s footsteps.” Rush’s great, great grand-father Scoot Limbaugh was a wealthy cotton grower and slave owner. Scoot’s wife Anne, who he reportedly married at the tender age of twelve, died giving birth to Scoot’s only son, Rush’s great grand-father – Haste Limbaugh.

It should come as little surprise that the NFL Players Union has publicly opposed Rush’s plans to buy the Rams. Which prompted Limbaugh to issue this reply: “Who cares if the players don’t like the idea. Because guess who owns all of the teams? Rich white guys- That’s who! And guess who happens to be a rich white guy? Me! So there you have it.”

If those comments were not damaging enough, yesterday on his show Rush announced his plans to rename the NFL franchise- the St. Louis Monkeys. “Let’s be honest here folks, the Rams are losers and have become the laughing stock of the league. I think the quickest way you turn everything around is by changing the identity of the team. That’s why I plan on changing the team name to the more apt- St. Louis Monkeys. You can figure out why on your own.”

In addition to playing for a racist owner, many Rams players are worried about the negative impact Limbaugh will have on the team’s supply of pain-killers. The majority of the team fears a shortage of pain-killer medication is all but assured if Rush becomes team owner. A few players are even concerned Rush’s fixation with male genetalia might lead to the installation of hidden cameras in the showers.

These fears were among the many complaints cited in an e-mail the Players Union sent NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. The Union has threatened a league-wide player’s strike if the Rams were sold to Limbaugh. Goodell is only expected to comment on the issue if Limbaugh’s group actually makes an official bid on the team.

I don’t suppose checking facts is part of what you do but…the quote above about changing the name of the LA Rams to the LA Monkeys is attributed to Rush Limbaugh on his show on Monday Oct. 12, but it is untrue. Check for yourself. In fact, check all attributed quotes and context before you believe anything about anyone.

@ Jodi- I don’t suppose you read articles before hastily mashing computer keys in response. There’s so much stupid going on here I don’t know where to start- it’s as if your comment is an all you can eat stupid bar and all I have is a tiny little plate. First of all, let’s start off with your complete obliviousness to what the article is all about. The reason you probably didn’t find a reference to the LA Rams anywhere in the show’s transcripts was because, as the article above mentions, he wants to buy the the St. Louis Rams. I might be wrong on the date he said it, but I’m pretty sure it was on the Oct. 12 show. If not check all the shows from October, because I’m positive he said it. If you keep running into dead ends let me know, and I’ll see what I can dig up myself.

You can dig all you want, and if you DO find it, please send the reference to every media outlet that you can. The article to which we are responding here is NOT verified and since it is being knowingly posted to the public forum without verifying it, which is not TOO SAFE, I think Rush should know about it.

I am forwarding it to him so he can see about including the poster in his lawsuit.

As Rush said last night on FoxNews’ Special Report with Brett Bair, “EVERYBODY who is accepting or SPREADING these vicious lies and slander will be more unhappy than they are now.

I hope he means that will add some of YOUR money to his $400 million contract.

@blackindependant – You’re an idiot of catastrophic proportions who seems to be suffering from the worst kind of perverse racial paranoia. I bet you wake up in the morning loathing you’re Black and imagine that other Black people see through to your worthless core.

Which explains why you would side with someone like Limbaugh, whose feelings towards African-Americans can be summed up by one of his many verifiable quotes on the issue: ”

Actually, you’re part right. I DO wake up in the morning loathing the fact that when people look at me they automatically link ME with mindless idiots like you know who.

What kind of moron thinks that by asking for PROOF of some ridiculous allegation I am “siding” with someone? I happen to believe a person should know what the hell he is talking about before taking what some OTHER idiot wrote and running with it as gospel.

I’ll be YOU are a prime example of the kind of person it took to believe the slave traders were just operating cruise tours to the new country, and the iron bracelets were a gift from the king of England.

Only a gold plated RACIST IDIOT would think this is a racist statement. First, is it true? Blacks WERE 12% when/if Rush said that, but by now we are even less than that. Second, who DOES care? I had the same question asked of me when I requested a grant from Dow Jones to study black attitudes towards financial investing.

My contact placed the request before the proper committee and was asked if there was really a market for that information. I think it is a legitimate question and not in any way racist.

Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see RACE in every thing under the Sun. You have to be a racist in order to do that, or an idiot who gets his “news” from some off the wall source like something called “NEWSBLOGGERS’.

Did you take time to ask why you didn’t see this crap in the major media?
Oh. I forgot. That Koolaid must be spiked with a heavy dose of dumbass as well

@Jodi- nice detective work there- way to uncover the truth. How is it that you can actually manage to read this and not pick up on the fact that its a parody? A delicious little morsel of a parody I might add.

Don’t take me seriously bro!!

Most items and/or articles on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. The information contained on this website is not meant to be taken seriously. Any issues? hit me up at - unreasonablysafe at gmail.

Don’t take the above warning too seriously bro!!

It might be a ploy by those in power that don't want people to know the truth.