Caregivers doing God's work, keynote speaker says

CORPUS CHRISTI - Quitting his job at age 51 and moving home to care for his aging and sick parents wasn't a burden; it was a calling, Jim Comer told an audience gathered Friday to hear him speak about caregiving.

"It's what we're meant to do," the author said.

"Right?" a woman shouted from the audience, to applause from the crowd.

"Isn't that right?" Comer said. "We're doing God's work."

More than 400 people gathered Friday at the American Bank Center for the fourth annual Face to Face Family and Friends Festival, which offered information from experts about caring for the elderly and disabled.

As the nation's population ages, more Americans are finding themselves caring for elderly parents and family members.

In 2009, an estimated 39.6 million Americans were 65 years old or older, representing 12.9 percent of the population, according to the Administration on Aging. That number is expected to almost double to 72.1 million, or 19 percent, of the population by 2030, the administration found.

The agency also found 90 percent of chronically disabled elderly receive some type of care, including two-thirds who only receive so-called informal care from family and friends, the administration reported.

On Friday, Comer, who spent more than a decade caring for his fragile parents, peppered his speech with lighthearted anecdotes to connect to family members and friends who are serving as informal caregivers.

"When times get tough, know that you are doing the right thing," Comer said, to a standing ovation.

After 20 years as a speechwriter and speech coach for Fortune 500 companies such as Avon, Comer abruptly quit his job in 1996 and moved back to Texas to care for his aging parents. His mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and his father had suffered a stroke. He published a book in 2006 about the experience called "When Roles Reverse: A Guide to Parenting Your Parents."

"I chose to parent my parents, and I never regretted that decision," Comer said. "It was the best decision of my life. It was the right one."

Rick Hackett, 60, said Comer's speech exemplified his experiences in caring for his 90-year-old mother who has Alzheimers. Hackett attended the event to get information about caregiving; he left with a different perspective on how to deal with his mother's disease.

Much like how Comer described his mother, Hackett's mother often asks the same questions repeatedly, not remembering that Hackett already answered them. After listening to Comer describe how he embraced therapeutic lying, or cheerfully answering repeated questions and requests, Hackett said he has a new outlook on how to respond to his mother.

Diana Perez, who cared for her elderly parents until they died, said she appreciated Comer's perspective on the tough job of caring for sick loved ones.