Can a Romney supporter and an Obama voter live in the same house?

For Kristi Deeley, that's not the lead-in to some off-color joke or the beginning of a crime story. It's her life.

The Newport News woman married Jim Deeley, her perfectly found match, in 2005.

She is a Republican. He is a Democrat.

They spar over Obamacare. They stay up until 3 a.m. clashing over the finer points of a presidential debate. Jim is a pacifist, Kristi touts the country's strong military power as an asset.

There isn't a lot they agree on.

"This (politics) isn't the only thing he's wrong about," Kristi says.

Although political debates have been a component of the Deeleys' relationship since the beginning — Kristi describes Jim's first meeting with her father and the ensuing debate as "delicious" — this election season has been a doozy.

Sit with the couple for just a few minutes, and the political sparring will begin without provocation. Throw a specific question their way, and it's on.

"It was SEAL Team 6 that killed bin Laden, and Obama wants to take all of the credit," Kristi retorts. "If Bush had gotten bin Laden, you wouldn't have given him any credit, either."

"He (Obama) got it done. Let's leave it at that," Jim says.

Still, for the Deeleys, political debate is mostly fun. That 3 a.m. clash over the first presidential debate became a little too intense, and tears were shed, Kristi admits. But the couple has learned when to call it quits and go to bed.

Both parties seem to be equally diligent about launching political attacks, and extended family members join in from time to time as well.

"This morning she leaned over me and said, 'Guess what your boy's done this time,'" Jim says with a faked grimace. "That's how I was woken up this morning."

And the hour that Jim spent screaming at the TV over a dare from Kristi's father to watch one episode of the Glenn Beck talk show was absolutely hilarious, Kristi says.

Most of the Deeleys' battles are fought with partially hidden smirks and impersonal jabs, though they refer to presidential candidates Gov. Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama as "your guy" and "my guy."

That's the trick if you're going to debate politics with family, says Amanda Deverich, a marriage and family therapist who has a practice in Williamsburg. You have to keep the discussion about ideas and not the personal characteristics of your debate opponent.

"When things get very heated, there is something underneath of that anger," she says. "There is a clash of self-definition happening. And instead of talking about different ideas, you're attacking the person."

The fighting isn't quite as intense at the Kleinmans' house in Hampton. David and Sarah say they "discuss," never fight, about their political differences.

They are newlyweds.

Both teachers — David teaches argument and logic at Thomas Nelson Community College, and Sarah teaches English at Phoebus High School — they debate their differences mostly over fiscal policy.

David, a libertarian, calls his wife a "bleeding heart liberal."

"I always want more funding for programs," Sarah says. "David thinks I make excuses for people."

David admits to using some of his "logic tricks" during political discussions with Sarah.

"At some point, the discussion always shifts to how I'm arguing it incorrectly," Sarah laughs.

But the pair is quick to defend one another, and they both agree that if the discussion turns sour, it's time to end it.

For many families, though, it's not the married couple that disagrees. It's the extended family that can't find common ground.

Shannon and Matthew Price, of Smithfield, don't debate each other. They spar with Matthew's sister and her fiancé.

"I usually get killed if I start something," Matthew says. "My mom always gives me the pre-game talk about not bringing up this thing, or that thing."

Many of Matthew's debates with his sister and her fiancé, Ben, take place on Facebook. Matthew is conservative. Ben is liberal.

"There is a lot more anger this time around, I think," Matthew says. "It gets us a little heated and more emotional. I'm a government contractor, so a lot of this hits close to home. My brother-in-law doesn't have any skin in the game."

For the most part, Shannon and Matthew say they have decided it's best to not talk about it at all.

That is the right decision in many cases, Deverich says.

"You have to remember that this election will pass, but you will be related to this family forever," she says.

Still, for Kristi, there is one deal-breaker in her marriage to Jim.

"I'd be more likely to divorce him if he became a Cowboys fan," she says.