In this age of social networking, the rules of general etiquette have been revised, many in unfortunate directions. Here are some new public behavior rules I am proposing to make this busy holiday time easier on all.

Supermarket shopping etiquette for the busiest grocery time of the year must begin outside in the parking lot, or two blocks away where the traffic to get into the parking lot is building.

*Please pull into the first available parking space. There is nothing closer. If you choose to pull up and idle behind a car you think is going to pull out of a space, the occupant of that car will be buckling a toddler AND an infant into car seats. This means the traffic behind you is now backed up three blocks away.

*Do not under any circumstances stop in the middle of the aisle - especially not the poultry aisle -- to speak on your cell phone. The guy blocked in behind you, who has only rum and eggnog in his cart, is getting a look in his eye and it's not pretty.

It is forbidden to abandon your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle while you rummage through all the turkeys. If you return to your cart without a turkey, be prepared to take cover.

The Jimmy Dean sausage is, for some unknown reason, in the freezer case.

Citizens in motorized shopping carts have the right of way at all times. The more items are piled in their carts, the faster you must yield.

Chatting with people in the long checkout lines is encouraged, as it helps pass the time and you can learn something. I've gotten some of my best recipes this way. There are any number of great opening lines, such as, "What are you going to make with your oysters?"

If your religion forbids blowing kisses to checkout personnel when they are kind and helpful, a sincere "thank you" suffices.

Bringing your own reusable grocery bags does indeed make you 50 percent cooler than anyone else in the checkout line, but you are not allowed to say so with body language. (Trader Joe's bags are90 percent cooler.)

If you can possibly tip anyone, do so.

When leaving the supermarket, do not dash between the constant stream of cars trying to enter and exit said dangerous parking lot, even though you have on white pants that glow brighter than the moon. I still can't see you.

If you happen to run into three good friends in the entrance to the parking lot, all four of you should pull your carts onto the sidewalk. Otherwise, prepare to dial 911.