Gloria Cain Gives First Interview to Fox News

Tonight, on a very special episode of Greta Van Susteren Trades Sycophancy for Access, political spouse Gloria Cain begins her goodwill tour of sympathetic cable-news programs. “To hear such graphic allegations and know that that would have been something that was totally disrespectful of her as a woman and I know that’s not the person he is. He totally respects women,” Cain told Greta Van Susteren of one (1) of four (4) sexual-harassment scandals involving her husband Herman, according to transcripts obtained by The Washington Post.

“I’m thinking he would have to have a split personality to do the things that were said,” Cain said. Is his split personality … half pepperoni, half onion? Because that will cost extra.