My Grandfather LanceWas a poet like meIn the desert heHad blue eyes that could danceKnowing what they knewAt one hundred and two

About LancelotCamelot and old daysThat were made alwaysIn shades of us that gotPassed down from the oldTo the young red and gold

Or Gules a Fess OrFor after our beforeShades of us in eyesOf love in brown or blueThat have seen a lotAnd I have seen it too

Love I recognizeIn eyes to see me throughSeen through me too inMy eyes to rise againHaving been passed downIn eyes of blue and brown

Love is what we getAnd what I have gottenFrom unforgottenShades that do not forgetShades that are not goneBut in our eyes gone on

Shades of us and ofUnforgotten love

Steven Curtis Lance

Oct 13, 2017, 11:59 pm

Cringeworthy

This tacky kakistocracyBeing embarrassing asIt is unhinged is cringeworthy

All the worthiness it hasIn its illegitimacyMocking lost democracy

The worst and not the best of usPunishing the rest of usUnhingedly cringeworthily

Idiocracy came trueBut nobody knew what to doAbout who is you-know-who

Each day more impeachment-worthy25 45 pleaseWhatever it takes anyway

Anything but please not theseShenanigans of day-by-dayCringeworthy indignities

Mueller please hurry up beforeHe gets us all killed this wayWhether by worry or by war

Until the day comes somedayWhen we will not cringe anymore

Steven Curtis Lance

Oct 7, 2017, 8:30 pm

Breakthrough

for Franziska

When I knew I had gone madThe rest of the way finallyThen is when I saw I hadBeen sadly had been badly wrongAfter all and all alongSo took a look around to seeI had found the other sideOf my erstwhile reality

Looking at it from outsideI decided that I was freeHaving fallen through a crackIn my erstwhile societyAll the way with no way backThrough a fun-house one-way mirrorInto my interior

I found myself after the fallGone through the mirror one wayOn the other side of the wallWhere the unseen can be seenMore clearly here in what I callBeing in the in betweenWith nothing left to prove at allTo anyone anyway

Seeing things but also seeingIn between them what they meanBetween these lines of mine beingMyself and seeing what forDoing this thing I know how toBetter than I did beforeI fell through that crack and broke through

Out of sight and out of mindOut of the mind I left behindGlad to be if I had toBe to see this breakthrough of meTo do what I am glad toDo but I had to go mad toHaving to go mad to beFree to do what I had to do

The hard way but what I getFrom it is this and this is it

Steven Curtis Lance

Oct 4, 2017, 4:16 am

Universal Kiss

I had to let myself go to know who I wasAnd what to do about it anywayHaving lived over winter given over toAn unexpected entering of spring

I found myself childlike but knowing what to doThis time around here when here is the thingSome things I regret but most I forget becauseMy second childhood spring is underway

There has to be a reason for me now as IReturn for this second season to seeHow it goes knowing how going on to know whyTo be at this late hour or not to be

I found out on my way out my way out is inReady to go already having goneThrough winter to enter spring again and go onReady to be already having been

The lessons of the universe return untilWe learn them (the hard way if we have to)In winter then I knew when spring was coming throughAsking will you learn to answer I will

And this was the answer I had missed until thenLearning the hard way returning againI found I had to give up to live up to meThe first time around I was mistaken

Then shaken awake when everything was takenFrom me but this childlike simplicityWhen the how of somehow becomes now foreverThis becomes it more than ever before

Learning how it turns out to be now or neverThis is it then at the what of what forWhat I missed returned with a universal kissI learned my lesson the hard way for this

Steven Curtis Lance

Sep 27, 2017, 4:28 pm

Interdimensionality

The jackrabbits are back todayLeaning in habituallyInclined to be italicizedBackhandedly toward what they mean

Seeing them be I realizedToday the way they always leanHeadfirst their ears inclined to beForwarded through the in between

InterdimensionalityAs realized by the surprisedFactually actualizedAslant into reality

When being here then seeing whereA little bit ahead of meThey are already being thereFrom here to there in nothing flat

In interdimensionallyHabitual jackrabbitryJackrabbits in their habitatAt the Hi-Desert hideaway

Glad to see them I had to sayThe jackrabbits are back today

Steven Curtis Lance

Sep 16, 2017, 5:28 am

Anyway

The wind was blurring a cloudSlurring the words of the song of a birdSinging it in a swinging treeBeing transcendental right out loud

Unafraid to sound absurdUsed to acoustical anomalyBringing its song along to meThe long way where I was there and heard

I might not have understoodThe words in the end it sang in the windBut heard it was out to transcendLike I would too and that sounded good

When the wind blew in the nightAnd a bird remembered what I forgotWe transcend in the end or notI thought a lot and knew it was right

Sometimes there has to be trouble beforeThe bubble pops and the mind sees moreClearly about what the trouble is howIt nearly always was but for nowTrouble is not troubling me anymoreHaving passed some sort of test somehow

Roughed-up and toughened by enough of itTo get what was sent and meant to getA troubling of the mind all the way downTo find myself mindful or to drown

Having gotten through a lot of regretLearning the hard way not to forgetWith nothing to prove for better or worseBeing approved by the universeTo be as transcendental as I canFor the rest do the best I can do

Withdrawn but not gone and better off thanI was before trouble taught me whatIs ultimately real from what is notLearning the hard way is turning outWell for me now gone to hell coming throughKnowing not to be going again

Gone on but not gone going on to growI always wonder never quite knowLooking out for trouble looking for meIt took a lot of trouble to be

I can see why now it had to be howIt was because of how it is nowComing through madness overcoming doubtAbout my being and doing thisLearning it turns out the way out is inSomething for my trouble anyway

Coming the hard way I might as well stayWondering under this midnight skyNever mind heaven but heaven knows ITried not to be but curiouslyFound myself out of curiosity

Being like this too curious to missSeeing what the trouble was about

Steven Curtis Lance

Sep 8, 2017, 8:57 am

No Fear of the Dark

for Franziska

I

In my December I remember whenThe thunder said turn back and I wonderedForswear thy foolish ways is what it thunderedI wonder now again like I did then

I remember now how I was somehowNo turning back going wrong all alongKnowing but learning the hard way I was wrongIn my December I remember now

Though mad being glad I remember whatIs real after all seeing what is notSadder but wiser they say but what I sayIs when I was born it thundered that day

II

In corners better not to lookIn consequence of a chance they tookIn parallel reality

In an existential ironyIn there without toxicity

In but not out of proximityIn where to be is not to beIn belittled little boxed-in hell

No vacancy in the roach motel

III

I had to choose between the Bruckner ThirdSymphony on the radioOr else what I thought was this bird I heardThat I had never heard beforeHearing it appear out the kitchen door

Having to choose to stay or goOut and about to know or not to knowUnheard what this bird had to sayThe dogs and I wondered but understoodGo out there no doubt Bruckner wouldStill be on the air until afterward

Though they knew I had heard no birdBut misheard some flute in the symphonyBecome a bird and fly awayThe dogs were glad to go out anywayTo know or not to know with me

IV

The light is so bright it hurts my eyesThe moon tonight rising to my surprise

O moon take me up too as you riseTo wake up the night shake things up like youSeem to do O moon enlighten meWake me up fearless like you seem to be

No fear of the dark to frighten meSurprise me and make me surprising too

Steven Curtis Lance

Sep 1, 2017, 4:57 pm

Ending Up

for Marisol and Bowser

No collars and no tiesNothing binding usNo dollars but no liesNothing blinding usSo never mind the fuss

A sensitive snoutOr two out and aboutAs three of no doubtOf one sensitive mind

Two old dogs and IAmid a midnight skyFollow our nosesTo desert primrosesWhenever we findThem opening their eyes

Out at this late hourWith fate reminding usWe two old dogs andOne old man understandUs three of a kind

Transcending like we doSoon the sun will riseThrough a lot but not throughNot yet anyway

Ending up at ourHi-Desert hideaway

Steven Curtis Lance

Aug 30, 2017, 9:12 pm

Only Love

Having been a fool is howI know not to be nowI know because I was whatI learned the hard way notTo be the way a fool doesBefore it got too late

It got better so I wasBetter late than neverGot better not bitter fateBloomed later than everUnexpectedly said yesI guess nevertheless

Grown a little wiser atThe end to my surpriseNow that this is it and thatIs that I realizeIn the ever after ofWhat matters: only love

Lonely though to get to knowTo love is to let goBut it grew and it came trueIn unexpectednessWhat I got that got me throughLots of meaninglessness

To get through what I had toI had to love a lotBut did and I was glad toAnd love is what I gotHaving been a fool I learnedBy having love returned

Not having expected itNot having dared to feelHaving rejected it itWas there and it was realI was a fool to denyWhat I know now is why

In between realityLove is what it means to be

Steven Curtis Lance

Aug 23, 2017, 2:55 am

Pignorant

I use the word pignorantNot meaning to implyThat all pigs are ignorantBut as it may apply

Root hog root my grandmotherUsed to say in otherWords do what you have to doTo stubbornly break through

But despite their stubbornnessThe pigs down on the farmBlow up big but mean no harmIf greedy nonetheless

When humans act like pigs thoughThey never do it wellPorcine overlords from hellWho though they never growBlow up bigger even so

Though humans I supposeThose big pigs that heaven knowsAre close enough to callPignorant and hope they fall

Pigs who do not get itSo the reference I guessLiving to regret itIs to their pigheadedness

Dead hands hold the controlsKept us ignorant this wayAlready sold their soulsReady to be swept away

I do not want to bePignorant but to be free

Steven Curtis Lance

Aug 21, 2017, 5:28 pm

21 August 2017

The unthinkable was notAs unthinkable as I thoughtWhat I doubted but turned outWhat I try not to think aboutTurned against realityAnd people who thought they were free

Beyond unthinkable nowOn the brink to think this through howI do in this only wayI know to in this lonely wayNo longer lonely to meNo matter what happens to beMyself doing what I do

To think the unthinkable throughAnd to write down what I findWrite it right for my humankindOne to one anotherwiseDown but not out up for surpriseWhen up in the sky we seeThe mystery of historyThe humans I have in mind

My kind of humans being kindOutgrowing this thoughtlessnessFinding this meanness meaninglessWondering like I do andThinking it through who understandWhat is wrong and what is rightIn the dark as we look for light

To look in the right placesIs to see it in our facesWe find us in each otherAs the hope of one anotherOpening our hearts and eyesNothing can stop us when we rise

In the unthinkable darkI think I see a spark

Steven Curtis Lance

Aug 13, 2017, 4:29 pm

Classified

for W. D. Lance

This side of the other is whereWe are but there is something thereOn that side of a great divideBetween the living and the dead

Seemingly we were meant to beWere sent here for better or worseKnowing to go on though and soWe went on with the universe

Surviving arriving this farWhere this is it and here we areOn our side of the far side weFind out about mortality

Wondering if we understandThe implications of this andOn what seems like a need-to-knowBasis face our fate up ahead

Though once in a while we can tellFrom our side of realityOne another in parallelNot gone but gone on who got through

Waiting in line to take the rideThe other side is classifiedWhere the dead are living insteadKnowing to go on so they do

But I thank the dedicateeWho declassified this for me

Steven Curtis Lance

Aug 4, 2017, 12:51 am

Awakening

Awakening nowThe future is hereTomorrow has comeUnexpectedly

For shaking up howIt is after allFor choosing betweenWhat is or is not

To rise or to fallBy love or by fearTo mean what we meanOr be mistaken

Fear can only takeOnly love can makeWhat is that is whatIs ultimately

In the shadow ofFear a rising sparkSurprising the darkIn the name of love

We wonder aboutIt but understandThat this is it andIt will not go out

To love is to beWhat is to becomeOf us as we doWhat makes us come true

How to be shakenUp to make us seeThe hope in our eyesOur reality

Open to surpriseNow to awaken

Steven Curtis Lance

Jul 31, 2017, 6:12 pm

The End?

And so here we goThe fearful say The End

I mean to transcendThough and so I say noTo their fear of nowBecoming clear to see

Not for me not howBy love I came to beAnd so I say yesTo love nevertheless

More than ever andBefore now or neverBy love understandHow now is forever

How love is the sparkOf light here in this darkLand from hand to handAnd so we overcome

The only thing fearIs fearful of is hereAnd so here I goBy love now with my friend

And so here we comeThis is when we transcend

Steven Curtis Lance

Jul 18, 2017, 6:36 pm

Dystopia

I want to disentangleMyself from this jangleOf dystopia coming to be

To overcome what haunts meThat I have lived to seeI want to be transcendentally

As curious as everThen but now was neverLike this furious stupidity

Looking back after the fallShenanigans were allIt took then to trick reality

Apart from not a part ofThis opposite of loveDystopia finds me left behind

In the alienationOf my situationI too am an alien I see

At a good time to transcendThat begins through the endBetter late than never to let go

Better late than never knowThrough this insanityWithout me within my own still free

Still being me anywayIn dystopia thoughNot of it seeing from far away

But finding myself I findOut of an open mindHope in my heart for my humankind

Involving evolutionEvolving as it mayA kind of human revolution

Steven Curtis Lance

Jun 27, 2017, 9:17 pm

An Outside Chance

for Franziska

A deputy knocked me upside the headInside after I had returned from the deadBut that was when I was young beforeTurning out to be ill I learned to keep stillNot anymore

The next time I was old enough that theyChose from those younger to rough up anywayDiagnosed I was dosed with a pillOr two then in the lockdown psych ward untilKnocked out that way

The orderlies who were like deputiesWith orders and orderly prioritiesEnforced the disordered with a twistOf force and of course I knew should I resistThey would insist

I teased an orderly about his hairAlmost got knocked out about it then and thereBut too much paperwork if I diedTied down to that yellow board so we both triedTo look away

Three times an unsuccessful suicideEvery time was my crime why I was insideHaunted always wanting to transcendNot giving up I do to the living endMad but not sad

Happier now than I have ever beenBecause as it was then I had never beenI took a chance I forgot I hadWhat I got from inside looking out somehowGlad I did now

On an outside chance outside looking inThat I take to be making the best of itWhat I learned from inside looking outTurned out to be now but never mind aboutThe rest of it

Finding myself out of trouble I stayWith hounds in a Hi-Desert hideaway

Steven Curtis Lance

Jun 27, 2017, 6:56 pm

Kakistocracy

This stupefying stupidityKleptocratic cupidityBanality and venalityActing reacting out of spiteOut of sight and out of mind tonightOut of touch with realityIs the numbing dumbing-down spectacle ofWhat happens to us without love

After the rise but before the fallI wonder is there hope at allUnable to bring myself to sayThe name you know it anywayBy now and how I wish it could beAnother time in historyBut here as they lock up democracy nowI fear this ends badly somehow

Sadly a bad time for me to beA madman in a kakistocracy

Steven Curtis Lance

Jun 25, 2017, 9:35 pm

Somebody I Am Thinking Of

Franziska has what I have andBecause she does she can understandAnd stand me for fifteen years orHowever many between us weHave shared comparing what we see

Having seen through the years between usWhat we mean and that we mean usHaving seen us through we mean to beAnd I see what she means to me

For more than however many moreForever for now or neverHowever we are for whateverNow hard to remember beforeKnowing somebody who knows aboutWhen reality is in doubt

No doubt about it somebody whoKnows me somebody to go throughIt with and to go through with it tooSharing it with her we compareOur notes about bearing what we share

It feels good to be understoodLike only somebody like us couldBearing with me with what we bearSomebody like us is hard to find

Both of us out but of one mindTwo of a kind she knows what I meanThrough all the time and space betweenTogether in the in between wherePropinquity is everywhereWith somebody I am thinking of

Somebody I think I love

Steven Curtis Lance

Jun 21, 2017, 9:20 pm

Living for Love or Dying Trying

The news is so sad as to be sadisticTo be addicted to it feels badTo me not being at all masochisticThis is a bad time for being mad

Though reality was confusing beforeWhat seems unreality is moreAs if this were a reality TVShow I know is confusing to meAlready confused but refusing to bePart of this stupid reality

It could be I had to go mad to transcendTo see this madness through to the endAs crazy outside of my head now I guessAs in is how it is more or less

I look on with horror but see I am notHallucinating that this is whatIs hurrying to happen and I worryStupefied as the stupid scurryThe news in the morning is cruel and sadWarning of a habit going bad

But I know what is and it is love I knowEven though I am mad even soI know who I am and I know how to doWhat I do now that I am glad to

By taking the madness outside of my headInside and making it rhyme insteadOf succumbing to the numbing of the dreadStupefying talking heads lyingTalking the living in fear into dyingOut of my head as they spread despair

Living for love or dying tryingIn sad times may mad rhymes spread love everywhere

Steven Curtis Lance

Jun 10, 2017, 9:49 pm

Out There

I

At the slanting of the sunOn either end of dayThat is when the rabbits runThen warily away

A turkey vulture eyeingThe rabbits from the skyHas a habit of flyingIn circles by and by

For dying no denyingIt I spy it tryingTo carry the unwaryOff very scarily

Though they got away todayTomorrow who can say?

II

Watching YouTube videosAbout UFOsThe only alienI see is lonely me againOut there I suppose

I like to think there areSome others from another starHaving come this farOut there like me having beenWatching now and then

But then again who knows?

III

Life feels forgivingSo I feel like living

And though I grow oldI feel life is givingMe reason to be

Let the lotus unfoldUnseasonablyFor one to forgive meDecembering

One to outlive meRemembering

IV

Not a bad man but a madman I confessNot always knowing what is going on I guessNot lazy but crazy I enter my pleaAs not guilty by reason of insanityIf I disappoint by my disjointedness