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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Finally! Answers!

I haven't been able to blog for the last week and a bit. It's been both due to time and just because I haven't been able to put the last week or two's events into words until now. Oh where to start.....Petit Armoir is finally up and running. Not everything got done on time such as the website, wallpapering the back wall, some stock hasn't arrived yet and not everything was put into the computer by opening. But I still managed to pull off a huge grand opening and even though I was meant to close at 2pm, people were still trying to get in at 2:30pm and I didn't get out the door till well after 3pm. All of this was achieved despite massive personal challenges over the last 2 weeks. For anyone who's ever been married to or lived with someone suffering from anxiety and/or depression, you know what a roller coaster it can be. Every day you wonder what mood the person you love will be in. Will he be happy? Will he be sad? Will he be angry? It's been the most difficult two years of my life and over the last week it all came to a head. I won't go into too much detail but finally there is a sense of relief. Rock bottom was finally hit and although it's not how both he and I would like the diagnosis and realization that there was something wrong to have happened, we're both glad it did. I nearly lost him, but with some help from a wonderful medical team and friends and family, we now have a diagnosis, a treatment and a plan. There's more hope than there has ever been. It's no surprise that this week I feel completely flat. I've been running on pure adrenalin for so long now that it seems even though all the drama has stopped, my brain can't quite slow down. I'm craving silence. Even the tapping of the keyboard drives me crazy. It will pass. It's the waiting I hate. Time heals and all that. Emily is of course over the moon. She's settling more easily and happier to go to childcare knowing she has both Mummy and Daddy home. So a new beginning and a bright future is in store. I'm determined to quieten my mind this week and stay focused on what's important. My family.