Attaining a
satisfactory level of love and companionship through intimate relations is
an unalterable, fundamental need of all human beings. The Institute for
21st Century Relationships exists
to facilitate the fulfillment of the human potential for relating, and to
support the freedom of consenting adults to discover and to practice the
intimate relationship structure and mode of sexual expression that best meets their emotional and human
needs. We champion the basic
human right to do so free of governmental, societal or institutional
coercion or favoritism.

We seek, through
education, research, and support, to create a climate in which all
forms of ethical, consensual
and fulfilling relationship styles and modes of sexual expression are broadly understood and are equally
respected and
honored as legitimate choices.

When couples
marry today, there’s only a 50-50 chance the marriage will endure.Divorce rates remain near their all-time highs. Depending whose statistics you choose to believe, as many as 70% of marriages will experience "cheating" one or more times during their existence.
Nearly a third of all children under 18 live in single-parent
households.Nearly 8 million
of these children live with single parents who have never been married.
The social support network formerly provided by the extended family has
virtually disappeared from contemporary life.

Clearly,
doing more of the same thing and expecting different outcomes no longer
makes sense.

The
world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact,
a return to the idealized past.

Robertson
DaviesCanadian novelist, essayist, playwright and
educator

The Institute
was founded at the dawn of the new millennium (July 2000) to help people create
lasting intimate relationships that will work in our present world. We are a research and
educational organization, guided by distinguished researchers, academics, clinicians, and other
professionals, and devoted to studying and educating the public about the various
new forms of intimate relationships being chosen in today's world. We are also dedicated to
supporting the proposition that competent adults have a basic human right to choose for
themselves the form their intimate relationship should take, and to be given education
and support to help them make that choice work for them.

Looking at all the evidence, our founders couldn't avoid concluding that a "one size fits
all" institution whose present
conception is largely based on the fiction of medieval troubadours
- i.e., monogamous legal marriage - is proving increasingly ill suited for many completely respectable and responsible
people today.

We believe
the proven cost in human distress, endangered children, broken homes, and
social upheaval inherent in a reflexive demand for "monolithic
monogamy" has simply become too high to bear.

Convictions
are more dangerous enemies of the truth than lies.

Nietzsche

Literally
tens of millions of responsible, well-adjusted people are seeking out and living new ways of relating that don't
embrace the traditional model of "one man, one woman, sexually/emotionally exclusive, legally bound for life."

Recognizing the demonstrated
perils of legal marriage at a young age, people are postponing marriage,
or (as has been the case in Scandinavia for decades) forgoing it
altogether in favor of cohabitation in record numbers.

Millions of
senior citizens choose not to marry legally for a host of valid financial,
tax, and emotional reasons.

Millions of couples (primarily) enjoy
the swinging lifestyle,
where sexual openness is paired with emotional exclusivity successfully to
deepen and enhance the coupled relationship.

There is a rapidly
emerging polyamory movement that practices multiple, simultaneous, open and
honest romantic relationships, including varying degrees of sexual
intimacy.

Elements of the BDSM/power exchange relationship style
are being
accepted by, and assimilated into, society at an increasing pace, despite widespread misunderstanding.

Religiously-motivated polygamy has
gradually re-emerged from the shadows and, when practiced responsibly
and consensually among adults, is being objectively judged by
many as deserving a measure of tolerance out of respect for religious
diversity.

All
of these choices, when practiced consensually and freely among adults,
deserve respect and social support. They also need the kind of
empirical research to discover and promulgate "best practices"
that the old monogamous marriage model has enjoyed for decades. Finally,
there needs to be empirical research to help demolish unfounded
stereotypes and prejudices that work to inhibit complete freedom of relationship
choice. We seek to support the attainment of all three objectives.

We honor and
respect those who freely choose monogamous traditional marriage. It is
unquestionably a valid choice for many. Nevertheless, we equally and
firmly believe it
is time to lay aside prejudice, inflexibility, ignorance and the
insistence that humanity in all its wondrous diversity must adhere
to a single acceptable model of intimate relationships, or do without.