5 reasons kids don’t tell adults they’re being bullied

Do you have a plan in place for the day your child tells you that he or she is being bullied? What if your child is being bullied but never tells you about it?

That’s what happens for many of the 160,000 U.S. students who stay home from school each day out of fear of being bullied.

Peter J. Goodman, creator of a classroom curriculum to encourage bully-free classrooms, said when kids avoid speaking up about being bullied, it perpetuates the problem.

“It is important for teachers and parents to know that bullying is taking place so that they can try to address it, but sometimes it is difficult for them to find out that it is happening in the first place,” said Goodman, who authored a book for kids in kindergarten to third grade called “We’re All Different But We’re All Kitty Cats.”

Karen Goldberg, a child psychotherapist and c0-author of the curriculum, said about half of children who are bullied do not tell an adult it is happening.

Here are five common reasons your child might not tell you he or she is being bullied:

They may think they are tattling on another student, and they have been taught not to tattle. It is important for children learn the difference between tattling about unimportant things and telling an adult when bullying is taking place.

Children may fear retaliation if they tell an adult they are being bullied. While the adult may address the issue with the child doing the bullying, there is going to be another time right around the corner when the adult is not around. Children may fear that things could get worse if the issue is addressed.

Some children feel they will not be believed. They believe they will tell an adult and the person will not believe them or will suggest that maybe they did something to bring it on.

Many children believe telling an adult does nothing to help with the bullying. The research tends to support the notion that many adults don’t do anything about the bullying, or they simply brush it off, tell them to toughen up, or say that it is just a part of growing up. If children learn early on that adults don’t help, then they are not likely to report the incidents.

When children are bullied, they may feel ashamed or embarrassed. This alone can keep them from reporting it, because they don’t want people to know that they were being bullied.

Does your house have an anti-bullying strategy? Tell us about it in the comment section.