I take care of one little boy in my home. I've been taking care of him for about 3 months. He just turned one on Friday. His parents are divorced and he is mainly with his mom but his dad has him on Wednesdays and every other weekend.

This little boy hits ALL THE TIME!!! He hits my kids (5, 3, and 11 months) multiple times every day. He hits with toys which hurts! He even tries to hit me. He has hit my little guy on the head with a block while we were nursing!

I don't know what to do. I've told his mom and she knows but she said "When he does that, give his hand a little spank." I can't bring myself to hit a child while I tell him not to hit. I've tried just making eye contact and saying no. I've given attention to the kid that was hit instead of the hitter. I've tried the 'be soft' and shown him how to touch softly. I've removed him from playing and sat him in the other room. I'm sure there are a couple other things I've tried but don't remember 'cause this happens all day.

It's bad because it's always my kids getting hit so it brings out the mama lion in me!

Wow, that is a tough one. If you're committed to caring for him for the long haul I guess all you can do is keep on with what you're doing (time-outs, telling him no, etc.) I just finished Sears's DISCIPLINE BOOK and he talked a lot about time-out being like penalty boxes in sports. You know, two minutes for high-sticking (or hitting or whatever---can you tell my DH is a hockey fan?

I used to work as a tutor and I know it's always hard to discipline someone else's kid. (Especially when I worked in *their* house.) But since this is YOUR house, YOUR turf, and YOUR kids getting hit, I say let him see a little momma lion. (Not enough to scare him, but enough to let him know it's unacceptable. No growling or anything, LOL.) If he doesn't eventually stop you may have to reconsider keeping him. I had to let one of my students go when I was pregnant with my daughter; he was ADHD and their house was utter chaos. My blood pressure shot up every time I walked thru their front door. I had to quit for her sake, and my own. Later I found out the dad and stepmom were divorcing and the kid would be moving to a new school---again. I felt sorry for him, but I had to do what was best for myself and my own kid.

Hope it doesn't come to that for y'all...keep up the good work! And good luck.
--K

The only thing I have found that works consistantly (but, not for every child) is to grab the hand in mid swing if you can, give it a squeeze (gentle...of course..not to cause pain) and say "No hit!" in a very firm voice. (not yelling)

Then after a few seconds, hold his hand, and show him "gentle". Use soft stuffed animals, or the "Pat the bunny book" and talk about genlte. Eventlually he will understand the word gentle.

This works well with my kids. The best way to handle it would be to sit down and discuss this approach with his mom and agree to both implement it so he's getting it at home and at your house. Hitting is unacceptable, period. I would also discuss with mom that you will give him two weeks (or whatever seems fair to you) to get past this behavior as a habit, and after that you will not keep him anymore. You will not continue to subject your children and yourself to such abuse, nor will you continue to teach this child that hitting is an acceptable way of dealing with his emotions.