What’s The Use?

Chateau Heartiste has another “Beta Of The Month” going, with three candidates in the running. Contestant #3, knowing his wife was about to cheat or had already done so, posted –

People are to be LOVED. Things are to be USED. The reason why the world is in chaos is because THINGS are being LOVED and PEOPLE are being used,” the message declares.

Love and use are not mutually exclusive. Years ago, Walter E. Williams wrote –

I’m reminded of charges of exploitation Mrs. Williams used to make early on in our 44-year marriage. She’d charge, “Walter, you’re using me!” I’d respond by saying, “Honey, sure, I’m using you. If I had no use for you, I wouldn’t have married you in the first place.” How many of us would marry a person for whom we had no use? As a matter of fact, the problem of the lonely hearts among us is that they can’t find someone to use them.

Man, that’s a depressing post–not yours but the one at Heartiste. I haven’t been much into the manosphere, or any other sphere for that matter, since I started doing that . . . thing I’m doing now. Felt kind of weird to look back in.

I’ve gotten about as much out of the manosphere as I think I’m going to. I’m still keeping up with the Christian sites, but the rest of them seem to be running the same tape loops over and over. You’re not missing much.

Well, I don’t mean to knock ‘um, and it’s not like I’ve got anything more worthwhile to say. I learned a lot from them. And if they give young guys the heads up it’s certainly worth it. That was actually a good heads up post.

Me, I’m kinda of too old to reap the benefit, and am hampered by an incompatible belief system, to boot. Also, at a certain point of honest participation in the discussions you have to start speaking from real life. But for me that would involve ragging on my ole lady. Mind you, I am not above ragging on my ole lady, with very select male company and in very small groups. (This is a time-honored male tradition, after all.) But doing it in public for all the world to see would be kind of . . . inappropriate!

These are points outside the issue of how much of one’s life should be spent in a permanent state of p*ssed offedness. Some people might thrive on that, and get a nice buzz going from hitting the manosphere. I remember feeling something like that when it was fresh. It might also come down to a given person’s Myers-Briggs profile.

I can’t live eternally pissed off. There was some of that when I found the sphere last summer, but that was more a buried anger at not knowing how all the pieces I had fit together. There was a bit of depression after that, but it faded. After that it was subsumed into and amplified the drive I already had to make changes in my life (I started that almost 2 years ago, before finding the sphere).

So… did my time, gleaning the last few bits I can here and there, and moving on to bigger and better things.

One problem is that I’m having the same feeling about Christian/Catholic sites, to some extent. Yikes! Am I sinking into apathy?

(“worthwhile to say” just meant I don’t have any particular edge on the manosphere people. At least they are communicating content and trying to make a difference in people’s lives. I mean, hey, that might be more important than Pamyu Pamyu updates!)