Gerry Weiss: Disease takes cruel toll

She hides behind her pretty smile, which cloaks a sadness that only grows deeper.

Her energy is gone, zapped by the cruel toll her husband's illness has taken on her.

Lori Stankiewicz drives home each weekday from her job as a legal secretary, and lately all she wants to do is crawl into bed and forget about everything.

Forget about David's rapidly progressing brain disease, a dementia similar to Alzheimer's that was diagnosed two and a half years ago when her husband was only 49.

Forget about their lives that have so drastically changed. Forget the dream house they built from scratch and were forced to sell because the couple couldn't keep up with mortgage payments.

Forget that the man she fell in love with 25 years ago is now a deteriorating shell that will never come back.

"I wish this was just a bad dream I'd wake up from," she told me the other day.

It was one year ago this week when photojournalist Andy Colwell and I chronicled the dark struggles of David and Lori in a two-part series published in the Erie Times-News and on GoErie.com.

I think of them often. I keep a black-and-white photograph on my desk that Andy took of David. He's sitting in his favorite chair in his old house in McKean, staring out the bedroom window.

His expression is one of a man who knows he's vanishing. I keep the picture close as a constant reminder of how fragile life can be.

I've kept in touch with Lori over these past 12 months. Friends of hers on Facebook know that Lori has a special strength and courage.

Many mornings I'll see her post about David's declining condition, and the fears and enormous challenges that come with their tragic circumstance. She tells me it helps greatly when friends respond with supportive comments and prayers.

David's disease, frontotemporal dementia, shortens life span and progresses much more quickly than Alzheimer's. Studies say most with his illness survive only six or seven years.

He's rapidly aged, looking older and severely worn, and has lost 25 pounds since our series ran in March 2013 -- 15 of those pounds since December. He often forgets to eat, his days spent sitting quietly in front of the TV watching game shows.

Doctors have told Lori, now 47, how little time her husband has left. They've stopped saying it, but she says she can see a certain sadness in their eyes when they examine David and see how his health has swiftly worsened.

"They can't do any more for him," she told me while holding back tears. "I worry so much. Am I going to be burying my husband soon? Am I about to be a widow?"

GERRY WEISS can be reached at 870-1884. Send e-mail to gerry.weiss@timesnews.com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/ETNweiss.