Cricket 3 years ago

Second Ashes Test, Day 4: Abominable England walloped at Lord's

What explains being bowled out for a 109 on a feather bed? Presumably nothing. What explains being ruthlessly beaten by 405 runs on a piece-of-cake-like track? Possibly nothing, not even the Holy Bible. Sunday was one of those days where England could have possibly defied science, to stay true to their erratic brand of Cricket - which they consistently played over a span of four days, four very shameful days for English Cricket.

You didn't have to look too far to be able to realise just how awful the home side had been, the shoddy faces on the England balcony narrated the whole story of the crisis. Even Trevor Bayliss, the man with a Miami-based mafia like expressions on his face generally, looked stunned to see history being made by "Alastair Cook's Men of Horror" who smelled disaster within by the time the nightmare was over.

England could actually have gifted some brand new expensive Rados if it was about re-igniting the previous relationships with their Australian mates to have beers together, but giving away a whole test match, that too at Lord's, that too an Ashes test, didn't seem to be a wise idea, did it? Agreed, it was the easy way out to save some money, but then again, an Ashes test given away? Cheeky, very cheeky.

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Of course, coming into the day, no one expected much, not especially once they had all seen England bat the first time around. Australia firstly played with England's emotions, tiring them and making them run in all parts to fetch the red Duke back from the ropes, and in the process, the lead was 509 and the time to bat was England's. Ever heard of Village Cricket? No worries if you haven't, as what the "Men of Horror" displayed with the bat was village stuff, maybe schoolboy stuff in Ben Stokes' case who brought the word self-destruction back to life by running himself out, or shall we say making Mitchell Johnson do so; well either way it's the same.

Before Ben Stokes' school-like dismissal, gruesomeness had already been personified, thanks largely to Adam Lyth's same-old, same-old dismissal, Gary Ballance's same-old, same-old vulnerabilities, the newly born Alastair Cook flash, the abysmal Ian Bell, and to back it up nicely, more embarrassing stuff thereafter as England batted as if they never had done it before.

Australia on the contrary were as brilliant as England were thoughtless with their approach. Relentless application of pressure, hostile fast bowling with lengths nicely varied up, sensible batting, just as good implementation of plans was all, when combined, an Australian victory and that's exactly how you bounce back.

Edgbaston is calling now, and whereas Australia - who came into the match with all sorts of problems - have almost no worries at all now, England have everything to worry about, from A-Z, and wholesale changes are required if England don't want being sliced and chopped into smithereens.