For The Week Of 6/11/2001 to 6/15/2001

Various Stuff. 6/11/01. 6:05amHoward said he missed the big basketball game last night but he's decided to root against the Lakers now. He said he likes to root for the underdog teams instead. Howard said he watched on Friday night but they keep putting on this woman Anne Robinson from ''The Weakest Link'' in every show and they're making him hate her now.

Howard said at 8am this morning Timothy McVeigh will be put to death so they should have a ''moment of noise'' for him. Fred played some celebration music in the background as Howard said this. He said that people never remember the victims in these crimes, we'll just remember the baby faced guy who blew up a building in Oklahoma City. Howard and Robin discussed the whole lethal injection thing and how it works. They both had different ideas about how exactly it worked though. Howard thought that the 3 injections they give the guy work on different parts of the body. He said one paralyzes him and another does something else and the final one kills him. Robin said that she read that each one of the injections are killers, they just use 3 to make sure he's dead. A caller tried to explain the whole thing to Howard but it didn't make any more sense than Howard's explanation. Another caller said that capital punishment isn't right and we shouldn't be killing this guy because it won't bring back the victims. Gary asked the guy if we should spend billions of dollars trying to rehabilitate him. The guy said we just need to throw him in a small cell with no cable TV and not spend money on him. Howard said that it may not be right but there has to be some kind of deterrent to stop others from killing. Howard asked the guy what might happen if we kept McVeigh around and he somehow escaped and did something like this again. It probably wouldn't happen but it's possible. Howard thinks we need to execute him in public so more people will see what happens to you when you get the death penalty. Another caller asked this caller if he's gay and he thinks he has a chance to go down on McVeigh or something and that's why he wants to keep him alive. They argued for a few seconds before Howard took a break.

Million Dollar ''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Contest Begins. 6/11/01. 6:40amHoward and GoldenPalace.com are giving away a million bucks this week. GoldenPalace.com picked 5 finalists and Howard came up with a contest for them to play for the money. The contestants will play ''Put Your Mitts on a Misfit'' by keeping their hands on various show guests including Dan the Farter, High Pitch Erik, Kendra Jade and Bridget the Midget. They will all stick around until there is only one contestant left for the million bucks. This could possibly last through the week.

After straightening out a microphone problem with Dan the farter Howard took a phone call from one of the Oklahoma City bombing victim's family members. He was saying how the guy that called in earlier has no idea what it's like to lose a family member to someone and if he did, he'd be for the death penalty. Another caller said we shouldn't kill McVeigh, we should torture him over the next 20 years or so. We don't do that in this country though. Howard spent a few more minutes on this subject before getting to the contest.

Howard introduced Kendra Jade, High Pitch Erik and all of the others. Erik looked tired so Howard asked him why that was. He said he was just tired because he was hanging out with Hank the Dwarf on Saturday night down in Atlantic City. Bridget the Midget also spoke to Howard for a minute. Kendra Jade, Dan the Farter and Beetlejuice were also there. Howard talked to Beet about what he's been up to and we got a lot of ''Huh?'' and ''Me!?'' from him when anyone would ask him a question.

Howard also introduced each of the contestants before starting the game. They included:

Robert Landino from Connecticut, a tractor trailer driver

Michelle, a lesbian

Bill who's been divorced a couple of times and could use the money

William from New York

Maurizio from Toronto who says he'll use his money to try and apply different energy sources for households

Howard sent them off to a special room where they'll start off the game by putting their hands on porn star Kendra Jade. Each hour or so they'll switch misfits. Every three hours the people will be able to take a 15 minute break. Gary warned them that they can't smoke in the building and it's possible they might not be allowed back in if they leave. It's up to them. Howard told them that they can just leave the game whenever they feel they can't handle any more. He'll be checking in with them throughout the show. Howard thinks that Robert Landino will be the winner just because of his attitude. Gary was going with Michelle because she's young and will probably have the stamina needed to stand there for extended amounts of time.

At around 7:45 Howard checked out what was going on up in the room and said that Kendra Jade was in a bikini. Most of the people chose extremities like ankles and arms to hold on to. Howard said he's put his hand on her stomach since no one is allowed to touch breasts or private parts.

Michael Pardue Update. 6/11/01. 7:20amHoward has spoken to this woman Becky Pardue a couple of times in the past about her husband Michael who was accused of a triple murder and sent to prison. He was later found innocent but he'd tried to escape 3 times so he was sentenced to life without parole for those escapes. He somehow managed to get around that ''Three Strikes'' law and now he's finally out of prison 28 years later! Howard spoke to him about that whole mess and about how he and Becky met through letter writing. Today they said they're sitting in bed naked and they've been having fun for months now since Michael got out of prison. You can find out more and help Michael out by visiting his web site MichaelPardue.com

A Moment Of Noise For Timothy McVeigh. 6/11/01. 8:00amHoward was talking about a couple of news stories he found funny when he got word that Timothy McVeigh was being put to sleep. Howard tried to have a moment of noise at that time but Fred was in the middle of doing something with his bag so all we got was a Robert DeNiro laugh from ''Cape Fear''. Howard made him play some real noise and he finally played some horns, whistles and crap like that.

Howard had been talking about how Nicolas Cage is now dating Lisa Marie Presley. Howard thinks it's kind of weird because Cage is an Elvis freak. He collects Elvis memorabilia and now he has the ultimate Elvis memorabilia, his daughter.

JumpTheShark.com's Jon Hein Comes In. 6/11/01. 8:05amThis guy Jon Hein who runs the site JumpTheShark.com came in to talk about his new feature that will be on RollingStone.com. Jon's site debates when TV shows went bad. Jump The Shark refers to when Fonzie Jumped the Shark on ''Happy Days'' which is when most people think the show went downhill. Now Jon has a Musician section that talks about when bands went bad. He spent about a half hour talking about tons and tons of bands and the different categories he has on the site. He said they have categories like Aging, Acting, Senility, Going Solo, Noble Causes, Reunited and One Bad Song just to name a few. He and Howard went through a mind boggling number of discussions about when musicians went bad. Before they did that they even talked a little bit about the TV shows that ''Jumped the Shark'' at the end of this season. They mentioned ''X-Files'' when Mulder and Scully were hugging the baby at the end of the show. ''Friends'' was another one with the wedding and the possibility that Rachel is pregnant. ''Dharma and Greg'' ended on a serious note with a car crash and it's supposed to be a comedy.

They went on to talk about the musicians which included everyone from The Beatles to Metallica. Jon said that people are very vocal about musicians more so than with the TV shows. He said he mentioned something about Rush ''Jumping the Shark'' on the site and he's still getting e-mail about that one.

Vinnie Favale from CBS was sitting in this morning and he kept trying to argue that The Beatles never jumped the shark. Both Howard and Jon argued that they did jump when John and Paul got married and their wives started ruining them. Vinnie loves The Beatles so he wouldn't accept any of their arguments.

Howard played some Kathie Lee Gifford music and said she hasn't ''jumped the shark'' yet. She hasn't gotten any worse than she was in the beginning... it sucks just as much now as it did then. Jon said that a lot of people argue that Jimi Hendrix never jumped but after he died other people made the jump for him by putting out all of his unreleased crap. Howard thinks that Metallica never ''jumped'' and they're still putting out top rate stuff. That's questionable though. Gary said he thinks they've become ''soft'' lately. You can check all of this stuff out for yourself at JumpTheShark.com or RollingStone.com

Amber Brkich From ''Survivor 2'' Comes In. 6/11/01. 8:45amAmber Brkich from ''Survivor 2'' came in to talk about her ''Stuff'' magazine bikini layout. She has posed for the magazine but there's no nudity. Howard said she looks really hot in the layout.

Vinnie Favale from CBS was hanging out with Howard this morning and apparently he has a crush on Amber. Howard said Vinnie hung out with her at a CBS party and even went to Scores with her. Gary came in and said that Vinnie was hanging around her in the green room and he was feeling sorry for her because she was tired. He even offered to put her in his office if she needs to crash for a little while. Howard thinks it's a crush but Vinnie said she's just a nice person he likes to talk to... plus, he's married.

Howard quickly looked at the pictures in ''Stuff'' and commented on them. He said it looks like she's got a C-cup but she claims it's only a B. It's probably because she's 5'6'' tall and only weighs a little over 100 pounds so they look bigger than they really are. Howard also said she's got great abs and a belly button ring.

Amber denied rumors that she was seen making out with Colby from ''Survivor 2'' and she pointed out she has a boyfriend.

Howard played a song that the cousin of contestant Rodger put out a couple of months back. Amber had never heard the song. Howard ended up singing his own lyrics to the music about Amber which was much better than the cousin's stuff.

Jon Hein from JumpTheShark.com asked Amber if she thinks the Survivor series has ''Jumped the Shark'' yet. She said she thinks that after another season the show may not be able to get enough contestants that are much different than the ones that have been on. She thinks it might ''jump'' after the next season but she's not sure about that. Some people think that it jumped the second season because all of the contestants are just on the show for the fame. Amber said she doesn't think that's quite true because they were being cast while the first season was still running so they didn't know how big it would actually be.

Howard asked Amber about shaving her ''bush'' before she went to Australia. Amber said she shaved it down completely before she went but after 33 days there it had grown to much more than she'd ever want. She said that was one reason she brought shorts with her down there. She also said her armpit hair was growing at an uncomfortable rate.

A few minutes before Amber had to leave Howard showed her the contestants from the GoldenPalace.com ''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' million dollar giveaway. Beetlejuice was the misfit laying on the table with all 5 contestants hands on him. One of the contestants said that the other 4 were starting to look a little weak but he was ready to keep going. Vinnie Favale had Howard ask Beetlejuice if he thinks he can win the million (even though he's not playing). Of course Beetlejuice said ''Sure!'' when he was asked. At this point the contestants had only been playing for an hour and 40 minutes or so.

After Amber was gone Howard spent a few minutes listening to Vinnie argue why Ringo Starr was a great drummer. He had a lot of arguments about why he was so good including how he could keep his tempo perfectly and the fact that he was the only Beatle to marry a hot chick.

Howard said that Vinnie was all over Amber as she was leaving. He thinks that Vinnie may have impregnated her as she was leaving. Howard said Amber was all over him too. He said she was fluffing his hair and talking to him for a few minutes before she ran off to do other shows.

A phone caller wondered how KC did betting on the big horse race this weekend. KC came in and said he thought he was going to do well when he picked the winner of the race. He didn't pick the second place winner so he ended up losing about $400 or so. His excuse for blowing the money and not caring was that he didn't have money before he bet and he still doesn't have money. But the $400 could have gone to pay some bills. Howard told him he's got a major gambling problem and he needs to do something about it. He's lost his electricity at least one time and it'll probably happen again if he keeps this stuff up.

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Million Dollar Contest Update. 6/11/01. 10:10amHoward quickly went to the contestants late in the show to find out how they were all doing. Each of the people he asked about were doing just fine. Bridget the Midget was lying on the table and since she's so small, the 5 contestants had a tough time finding a spot to put their hands on. It apparently looked like she was a difficult patient in an operating room or maybe a reenactment of Timothy McVeigh's lethal injection. By this time about 2 hours and 45 minutes had passed by. The contestants' first break was coming up after the 3 hour mark.

Howard said he doesn't think anyone will last past 2 days while some people think they'll last all week long. Gary said that there's one ''heavy'' guy who can't possibly last that long standing there. Howard predicts that at least one person will have dropped out by tomorrow morning.

-- Tuesday June 12, 2001 --

Fear Factor Discussion. 6/12/01. 6:05amHoward said he forgot to watch ''Fear Factor'' last night on NBC. Joe Rogan was the host and promoted while he was in last week. Gary said that Joe really underplayed the whole thing because it really was a frightening show to watch. People had rats put on them for four minutes and in another segment the people were lifted 150 feet into the air over a reservoir and then had to crawl out on the car and do stuff. Doug from E! said he had nightmares after watching it. Gary described to Howard some of the rat stuff and how evil Joe comes off in some of the stuff. These people do this stuff to win a measly little prize of $50,000. They have to go through 3 different stunts before one person can win the game and the 50 grand. Gary said he couldn't believe they put this on NBC because it was so graphic but a phone caller didn't think it was that extreme.

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Update. 6/12/01. 6:20amHoward gave us a quick update of the million dollar contest that GoldenPalace.com is doing with Howard's show. Five people were picked and had to keep their one hand on various wack pack members until there's just one left. During the night one guy dropped out of the game. Robert, the one Howard picked as his favorite to win, dropped out during the night. He was apparently getting very tired and almost fell asleep. He kept getting warnings and eventually got so sleepy that he took his hand off of the misfit and blew the whole thing. He'd raised his hand and said ''I'm not sleeping!'' There were four left holding Dan the Farter. Dan was farting the whole time Howard was watching him this morning.

Gary told Howard that Maurizio was a very talkative guy and he might be annoying some of the other contestants. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him before taking a break. After the break Howard came back to talk to the rest of them.

The guy who dropped out, Robert, came in the studio to talk to Howard. Robert said he had enough of Dan the Farter's farting. He also said he was really sleepy because he didn't get any sleep on Sunday night because of the excitement around this whole thing. He was Howard's favorite because he's a truck driver and he should be used to staying up for long hours of boring stuff. Howard is now leaning toward the lesbian chick, Michelle. Howard spoke to her for a couple of minutes about how she's going to do. She said she's in pain but she's going to do what she can to stay in the game. They've been standing on their feet since yesterday morning. They get a 15 minute break every 3 hours or so. She said she's been eating pizza and cookies for the past 24 hours. Tonight they get Chinese food. Howard asked that Tom Chiusano get them some real catered food instead of the crap he's feeding them. Howard thinks Tom is just trying to save money. Michelle actually said the pizza is quick and easy to eat and it gives her energy so it's not that bad. Someone asked for fresh fruit and fish.

Bill, another contestant, said the pizza was fine with him too. He told Howard that Maurizio and Michelle go at each other verbally sometimes and the other guy, William, eggs them on. It sounds pretty entertaining. Michelle was telling Howard about some of the stuff Maurizio talks about like how some rape charges are too harsh. He doesn't think a guy deserves to be sentenced to 15 years for raping someone. He asks ''is he that bad of a guy?'' if he rapes someone. One of the other guys served on a jury in a rape case which got the discussion going.

Gary said that some people think Maurizio is just an annoying talker while others think he's doing the talking just to annoy the others so they give up and leave. Howard said he may be a mad genius. Maurizio said he's not though.

Howard talked to William who said he's got some pain in his feet but he's sticking it out. Howard thought that he'd be out pretty quick because he's a heavier guy than the rest.

Howard also spoke to Dan the Farter for a few seconds before leaving the contestants to stand there for a while longer.

Robin said she's picking Bill or William to win this thing.

Ken Revere's Non-Kayak Stunt. 6/12/01. 7:05amHoward said that KC told him they had this guy Ken Revere come down to talk about how he's going to jump 1000 feet out of helicopter in a kayak.. into the East River. Then Howard finds out that Ken is just going to be practicing his kayaking in the East River. Next month he might do the jump. Howard says KC is always doing this crap making a big deal out of nothing and confusing his stories. Howard had Ken come in anyway because his fiance was willing to get topless for him.

Howard spoke to Ken a little bit about what he's thinking of doing with his kayak. He wants to jump out of a helicopter 1000 feet into the ocean. He says it's very dangerous and he could possibly die. He doesn't have much of a plan though. He wanted to do a pay-per-view or something like that but he hasn't found anyone to take it on yet. He also talked about where he'll be practicing his kayaking in something called Hells Gate which is supposedly dangerous but Howard knew nothing about it so he didn't really care.

Ken's fiance, Natasha, took off her clothing and her bra so Howard could check out her 29 year old breasts. Howard said she came in just in time before she turns 30. He said she was pretty firm for a 29 year old though. He was ready to wrap up the interview when Gary told him to go to the ''Mitts on a Misfit'' room.

Beetlejuice was the current ''Misfit'' on the table and apparently he was very upset. Beet played it off but Gary said he really didn't want to get on the table and there were actually tears coming out of his eyes. Howard tried to find out what it was all about but Beetle said that it was all fake. He called the tears ''water'' that just happened to come out of his eyes. He said he was just doing it for no reason, he wasn't actually upset. He was putting on a show. Gary said he was really getting belligerent with the guys up there but he stopped when Howard spoke to him. Howard told him to hang in there because these people need him to win their money.

Will The Real Gene Simmons Please Stand Up. 6/12/01. 7:45amComedian Craig Gass was sitting in this morning doing his Gene Simmons impression. The real Gene Simmons came in to promote a few things so we had a battle of the Genes going on. Gene came in saying that he's gotten tons of phone calls from people about Craig doing his voice. He mentioned how ''Gene'' told Suzanne Somers that he was going to give her a KISS lunch pail when she was on talking about her breast cancer. He jokingly called Craig a ''son of a bitch'' a few times. Gene noticed that Howard had the bust of him sitting next to the picture of OJ in the studio. He's sent it to Howard recently. Of course Craig was doing his ''Gene'' and saying a bunch of funny stuff. The real Gene said that he doesn't sound anything like him but he really does. Gene thinks it's a more high pitched voice that Craig does. Gene did an impression of Craig doing an impression of Gene which was pretty funny also. Of course Craig made jokes about how KISS takes their fans money and how they invented just about everything. Real Gene took it well and laughed hysterically at a few of the jokes. Gene also explained that every band, no matter who they are, are in this game to make money. They're all corporate entities that are there to make money and KISS has made close to half a billion dollars with their merchandising.

The fact that Gene has slept with over 3000 women also came up. Gene explained how he doesn't mess around with the B.S. of trying to sweet talk a woman. He just talks to her honestly and if he finds one attractive, he'll tell her that right off. Howard thought of the relationships as one night stands but Gene doesn't see it that way.

Gene was in to promote a few things including his autobiography which will be out in the fall and a KISS box set that will cost about $250. The main thing he was promoting was a new KISS casket! He said he'll be at the Jacob Javits Convention Center tomorrow from 10am to 3pm promoting this thing. It's a full sized actual casket that will cost you about $4500. It's waterproof so it can also be used as a cooler in your house. So you can enjoy it while you're alive and dead. Of course it has KISS stuff all over it.

Howard took a couple of quick phone calls from people and then let Gene talk about how KISS has come close to beating the Beatles in sales and attendance records. He said they've actually beaten The Beatles in some attendance records. Craig's ''Gene'' said they beat the ''Most Anal'' record and they actually invented anal sex because the band was getting tired of vagina. ''Gene'' also joked that on KISSOnline.com you'll soon see a ''Cash-Cam'' where you can watch Gene count your money. Of course you'll have to pay to see him counting your money. The real Gene laughed at that whole idea.

Someone on the phone asked Gene if he's ever banged any famous chicks like Pamela Anderson. He started to talk about Pam when ''Gene'' interrupted and said that he'd banged Betty Crocker. The real Gene just said ''I give up.'' Another caller said he'd been to 13 KISS shows. ''Gene'' interrupted again and said that KISS' first fan was Eleanor Roosevelt.

Chaunce Hayden called in and tried to tell a story about going to Scores with Gene but Gene said it wasn't true. Chaunce said that he and Gene compared tongues and Gene lost to him, threw down his non-alcoholic drink and ran out when he lost. Gene swore on his children that he's never done anything like that in his life.

The other reason Gene was in was to promote a band called The Rosenbergs. One of the guys from the band was there to tell a story about how a web site tried to have their band sign a 23 page contract that would have made them almost slaves. They wanted their first 6 records and a bunch of other stuff. Gene was there to warn other bands to be careful with stuff like this. He said there's nothing like having a real record company behind you to give you an advance and to distribute your records. Howard spent a short time talking to that guy and then wrapped things up after bringing in a couple of Gene's fans. Two women came in dressed up as KISS members and said they'd like to have sex with Gene. Gene just told them about his new KISS casket and how they could use it as a cooler.

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Update 2. 6/12/01. 8:30amHoward did another quick update with the million dollar contest. He said that Beetlejuice has changed his attitude and he won't get off the table he's laying on. Howard quickly spoke to each of the remaining contestants who are all annoyed with Maurizio. They're still hanging in there though.

Hank The Dwarf Vs. Mark McGrath Of Sugar Ray. 6/12/01. 8:35amHank the Dwarf came in this morning to compete against Mark McGrath of the band Sugar Ray in a game of Rock and Roll Jeopardy. Howard spent a couple of minutes with Mark first. He brought up how Scott Einziger from E! is dating Mark's ex-girlfriend Maya. Howard said that Maya tells everyone she meets that she dated Mark and it's pretty weird. Mark said he can't understand why she'd do that because they dated 7 years ago. Scott came in and said that when they first started dating he was a little intimidated that Maya had dated Mark but he's gotten over it. Howard also said that Maya said that the ''M'' tattoo on his chest stands for Maya. Scott told him that Maya told him that Mark said that's what it was for. Mark said that's possible but it really doesn't stand for Maya at all. Scott defended Maya and Mark said he wishes Scott and Maya all the best. He said he really doesn't have any animosity toward either of them. The two of them shook hands as Scott left the studio.

Howard quickly played a game of Rock and Roll Jeopardy with Hank and Mark. Hank has beaten two other people in the game including Gary and John the Stutterer. Howard ripped through 20-some questions and neither Hank or Mark were doing very well. Hank didn't seem to be his usual drunken genius self. Mark said he's not up on the classic rock stuff, he's more into the '80's stuff. By the end of the game Hank had about 5 more correct answers than Mark did so he won once again.

Howard then brought in a couple of interns who had gotten all dressed up for Mark. After checking out Shannon and Angela Howard told Mark that he's more than made up for losing to a drunken dwarf. Shannon also shared a story about how her mother used to hang out with Gene Simmons of KISS and Ozzy Osbourne when she was younger. Shannon said her mother says she wasn't a groupie though, she just hung out with them.

Howard took a bunch of quick phone calls for Mark. A majority of the callers asked Mark about dating Maya and what kind of sex he had with her. He said he never did anal with her but he did say that he slept with her well over 10 times.

Howard also had notes on Mark that said he's in some kind of war with a guy by the name of Matt Zane but Mark said he had no idea what he was talking about. He said ''it's all about love'' and he has no battles to speak of.

Howard took a break and came back so Sugar Ray could perform their new song ''When It's Over'' that's on their new self-titled album ''Sugar Ray''. Mark told Howard that the song is about relationships and that old cliche ''you don't know what you've got until it's gone.'' Howard wondered if it was about his ex-girlfriend Maya. Mark played along and said that of course it is and he'll even put her name in it when he sings it.

Craig Gass said a friend of his in the music industry told him a story about Mark going through a bunch of girls who were standing outside of his tour bus one time. He said that Mark picks and chooses which girls can stay and which have to go but Mark denied it saying it was an urban legend. The rest of the band stayed quiet about it. Howard then had them perform their song after introducing each of the members.

After performing that song Howard said he read a rumor that Mark enjoys golden showers (women peeing on him) but Mark said he's never tried that. He said he'd be willing to try it but he honestly hasn't done that yet. It was just an internet rumor according to Mark.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that everyone keeps talking about how good looking Mark is but he has giant nostrils. Mark said it's true and as a child other kids called him ''pig nose''. Hank came to Mark's defense and said that the caller's mother probably looks like a pig. Craig Gass came to life with his W.C. Fields/Edward G. Robinson impression as he egged Hank on to yell at the callers more. That continued through the rest of the interview every time Hank would say something. Craig would say ''Yeah, see.. yeah, yeah'' and rile up Hank a little more.

Howard interrupted the whole thing at one point because Beetlejuice was out in the hall crying. Howard heard that Beet was upset about the whole million dollar contest and he thought that he was going to win or something. Beet didn't want to even talk about it, he just wanted to leave. He was tired and didn't care about anything. He said no one was telling him anything and he didn't care. Howard tried to calm him down and get him to stay but he refused. Howard told him it was okay if he wanted to leave and go home to get some sleep. He told Beetle that he loves him and wouldn't want to upset him or want him to hate them for any reason. Mark McGrath and the band even agreed to sing ''Every Morning'' and throw Beetlejuice's name in there to cheer him up. Beet stuck around in a piss-poor mood as they did that. During the song Mark mentioned Beet's name and even asked him if he was feeling better. Beetle must have shook his tiny, giant tooth filled, head back and forth because Mark said ''no?'' after asking. He used Beetle's name about 20 times during the song but Beet was still sounded down after the song. Howard wrapped things up shortly after that.

Sugar Ray's new album ''Sugar Ray'' is out today and you can get more info on the band and their touring dates at SugarRay.com

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Update 3. 6/12/01. 10:00amOver twenty six hours had passed when Howard checked in with the contestants in the GoldenPalace.com million dollar game at around 10am. Gary said that Beetlejuice was finally calming down out in the hall. Porn star Kendra Jade was on the table and one guy had his hand on her stomach and one guy had his on her thigh. The lesbian, Michelle had her hand on Kendra's ankle. They're all getting tired and they have to put up with misfits like High Pitch Erik who has pimples on his ass according to Gary.

Michelle's partner, Lori called in to check on Michelle's condition. Michelle said she's doing fine. Howard also found out that Michelle and Lori are raising a couple of kids together. He spoke to Michelle about that real quick before moving on to do other stuff.

Gary came in and reported that ''Fear Factor'' came in first in it's time slot last night but not by much. A short time later Vinnie Favale, who works for CBS, called in and said that you have to wait for the second week when the show isn't hyped that much to see how it does. Vinnie said he tuned out half way through it because it wasn't that great. Howard thinks that he's just such a ''CBS'' guy that he can't say an NBC show is any good. He denies that but he went on to say how great ''Jackass'' is compared to ''Fear Factor''. Then Gary pointed out that ''Jackass'' is another Viacom (CBS) owned show so he likes to promote that stuff.

-- Wednesday June 13, 2001 --

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Million Dollar Contest Update. 6/13/01. 6:05amHoward said he was curious to find out what's going on with the GoldenPalace.com million dollar contest but he had to take a break first. Howard can't imagine that these people have been awake since Monday. He came back from break and watched his monitor to see what was going on up in the special room where the contestants were. By this point they had been up about 47 hours. They started out with 5 people and lost one yesterday. Last night one more dropped out according to Gary. Michelle the lesbian dropped out. Those are the two that Howard had picked to win and now they're out. Gary said her ankles had swollen up really bad. She ended up just falling asleep after sliding onto the floor during the night. Howard watched the replay of her slowly sliding down to the floor and falling asleep. She came in to talk to him about it this morning. She could barely walk when she came in. She said she wasn't even able to get much sleep after she passed out. She thinks it's because she's ''over-tired''. Howard then checked on the rest of the remaining contestants. Bill said he's not completely drained but he's getting there. He says he's in this thing for the long run even though his ankles are swollen just like Michelle's were. The other Bill, or William, said that everyone is bored as hell and they're barely speaking now. Michelle brought up how entertaining Bridget the midget was and how she felt bad for Beetlejuice because he was crying yesterday.

Howard predicts that William will be the next to pass out because he was swaying back and forth. Maurizio was still in it and he didn't seem as tired as the rest. He sounded very awake and more alert than the others. He even said he wasn't bored. Howard told him he was like a bull. Maurizio is still on his toes mentally. Howard asked him a math question and he was able to do a math problem really quick. Howard asked the two Bill's and neither one thinks that they can make it two more days. Maurizio says he can do it. Even while they have their hands on High Pitch Erik this morning. Big, fat, pimple-assed High Pitch Erik.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who thinks Maurizio might be taking cocaine to keep himself up all this time. Howard just laughed at that idea.

Various Stuff. 6/13/01. 6:40amA guy called in and told Howard that he saw the movie ''Bubble Boy'' in which Beetlejuice appears. He has a friend who got him in the movie so he gave Howard a review. He was giving way too many details so Howard had to have him give a quick synopsis. The guy said it's a take-off of the movie ''Boy in the Plastic Bubble'' and you get to see Beetlejuice prominently featured but he only has one or two lines in it. The guy said the movie is actually funny and it's a real movie. The caller said he'd give it a 4.5 rating out of 5. Big Foot Matt who has been on the show is also in the movie.

Beetlejuice was in to talk about the movie. Howard was thinking that he might actually be in a possible hit movie. Beetlejuice was even working on his acceptance speech just in case he wins an award some day. He plans to say ''Thank you, thank you very much.''

Howard moved on to talk about Crazy Cabbie (it's been a while). Howard said that he's convinced Cabbie is psychotic. He got a call from Cabbie yesterday and he didn't feel like talking to him. He ended up getting an e-mail instead. He read that on the air and pointed out how Cabbie is making Howard feel guilty for not talking to him. Cabbie says he wants to hang with Howard but he doesn't think he's in Howard's ''league''. Howard said he's a busy guy and he can't, and doesn't really want to hang with the guy. Howard thinks Cabbie is taking it really hard for no reason. Robin described him as being one of those guys who just won't take no for an answer from a woman he really likes.

Gary said Cabbie called him also so he's thinking that Cabbie might have just been going through a thing where he just needed to talk to someone. Robin thinks it might be leading up to something that we've seen before with Cabbie. She was talking about the whole drug addiction thing of course.

Howard got off that subject and took a phone call. The guy asked what was up with Beetlejuice crying yesterday. Gary said his manager said that Beet is diabetic and he was just going through a tough time yesterday. The caller also asked why Robin is in the separate booth in the studio. Howard started to say that it was the program director who thought they talked too much and they separated them. That was from his movie though. He then had to be corrected and said that it's because Robin is always working on her news stuff making noise. So they put her in a booth so the noise wouldn't be in the studio with Howard. Simple as that.

Beetlejuice became the subject once again. His manager Sean came in to talk about the movie. He said that Beet actually has hundreds of quick lines that may have been cut out. He's also going to be in ''Scary Movie 2'' which comes out July 4. ''Bubble Boy'' comes out in August.

We also learned that Sean was once arrested because he was impersonating a cop when he called Howard's radio station a few years back. He got like 30 days jail time because of that. KC came in and said that Sean was also caught betting on his own basketball team when he played in college. He bet for the team but he wasn't really positive about that. He ended up getting caught and lost his 4 year scholarship.

Sean also explained Beetle's crying a little more. He said he actually fell asleep on the table during the ''Mitts on a Misfit'' contest, woke up, thought he'd been asleep for 3 days and thought he'd won the million bucks himself. Sean said he explained it all to him and he was now okay with it. Beetle said he didn't have a clue as to what Sean was talking about though.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who wondered if Beetlejuice is retarded or something. Beet got pissed when he heard that and told the guy he'd slap his face if he said that to him. He says he went to college for four years, he's no retard.

Where Are They Now: Former Interns. 6/13/01. 7:15amHoward gave us some updates on some former interns from the show. He pointed out that they have about 10 per semester at the station and they wouldn't be able to run the company without the free help. The first intern was Shannon who was there until December of 2000. She was on the phone to talk about what she's been up to. She told Howard that she went to California and had a few jobs but ended up quitting them. She then got some plastic surgery including a nose job and liposuction on her stomach and thighs. She said that she now has a six-pack stomach. Then she broke the big news. To pay the bills she got a job as a topless stripper! She was the hot intern who General Manager Tom Chiusano had to ask not to wear revealing tops when she worked there and she was really hot. Howard couldn't remember what she looked like but the E! crew popped up a picture of her for him. He immediately wanted to see her strip. After some discussion they got her to agree to come back to New York for a week and work at Scores so they could all go see her strip. Howard said he can't wait. Shannon was in the Winter Intern Beauty Pageant singing about her big breasts. That show has aired on E! just in case you're wondering what she looks like. She says her big breasts are real too.

The next intern up was Tara who was an intern back in 1994 or so. Tara went and worked for WNBC in New York for a while, moved out to California and now worked for KNBC and now she's a field producer for Access Hollywood. She actually broke the story about Robert Downey Jr. Having the Wonder Woman outfit in his room when he got busted for drugs not that long ago.

Next up was crazy Zach who ran into the studio naked on his next to last day of work. He had to be fired because of that stunt and he did an interview on Extra and came of as a dick. He said he didn't say anything bad about anyone but he came off that way in the interview. He went to work for Kenny Kramer for a while and now he's working on his stand-up comedy career in California. He'll be appearing at The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip June 23. Check out ZachWaldman.com for more info.

Gay Rich called in quickly and said he's worked for Carnie Wilson, Maurey Povich and now he's working for a P.R. firm. He told Howard he wants to date Crazy Cabbie so he can win some liposuction to get rid of his stomach pouch. Howard had to get through these interviews quickly because he had Ted Nugent waiting in the wings.

Mikey Stein was up next. He worked for the show 11 years ago. He told some stories about Stuttering John and Gary and said that he's doing well making a six figure salary doing whatever he's doing.

Finally, Gambling Dan called in. He blew his college tuition betting away his money. He went on to be a production assistant on Howard's movie ''Private Parts''. He then got more and more jobs in the movie industry and he's now an Assistant Director! He's working with all the big movies and movie stars like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Julia Roberts. He said that Clooney and Pitt really like Howard's show. Pitt is petrified of doing the show though. He thinks that Howard will bury him or something. Dan's also got a hot model girlfriend who you can see at GettingIntoShowBiz.com. Howard saw her and couldn't believe it. Gambling Dan wrapped up his call saying that Martin Lawrence really is the biggest dick in Hollywood. He said all the stories you read about him are true.

Ted Nugent Comes In. 6/13/01. 8:25amMusician Ted Nugent came in this morning to promote his new live album ''Full Bluntal Nugity'' which is out now. Howard said he looks as young as ever and Ted says it's the Venison he eats every day that keeps him young. Since Ted toured with KISS a lot in his career Craig Gass, who was sitting in today, did his Gene Simmons impression quite a bit. He joked around about a bunch of stuff with Ted and Ted said he really does sound like the real Gene. Howard quickly went through the interview so he could get to the incest brother and sister later on. He talked to Ted about his meeting with President Bush where he had a quick talk with the guy. He also took tons of phone calls which were mostly angry people who hate the fact that Ted hunts for all of the food he eats. Ted defended his right to kill animals on his land and let the callers yell at him. He told a story about making a citizens arrest on a guy who threatened to kill him and his family on his next hunting trip. Ted felt that he was a dangerous guy so he grabbed him and turned him over to the cops. The guy need up spending some time in jail for making the threat.

Howard brought up how the Make A Wish Foundation used to let kids go on hunting trips with Ted but lately they've refused do grant those wishes. Ted thinks that it's ridiculous to not grant a dying kid's wish to hunt if that's what the kid wants to do. He has his own Ted Nugent Camp that kids can go to instead. You can find out more about that and everything else about Ted at his web site TedNugent.com. He's touring with Deep Purple and Lynard Skynard this year also.

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Million Dollar Contest Update 2. 6/13/01. 9:05amHoward came back from break and Gary said there was a bizarre development during the contest. He said that Dan the Farter crapped himself during his stint on the table so they had to check the rules to see what to do. They ended up replacing Dan with a dummy for a little while. Dan later explained that a piece of pizza ripped through him from last night and it made a mess. He tried some immodium to stop everything up but it didn't work.

Howard spoke to each of the 3 remaining guys and they seemed to be doing okay. Later in the show, around 9:30 the wobbling Bill told everyone he had to drop out because his feet hurt too bad. So there were two remaining after that. Maurizio and the other Bill. Maurizio seems to be holding up the best. He says his feet are holding out just fine.

Phony Incestuous Brother And Sister Couple Come In. 6/13/01. 9:15amHoward had been promoting this brother and sister who make love to each other all morning. When they finally made it in Howard said it looked like the sister was going to cry. It turns out she had been crying for quite a while. The brother, who'd called in recently and said he wanted to get his sister implants, was all over the place. He was talking all over everyone and not letting anyone ask the sister what was up. It turns out the sister was brought there under false pretences. She was under the impression that she was going to be competing for implants on the show. She had no idea what her brother had done. Gary said that when he told her why she was there it looked like someone had punched her in the stomach. She never had sex with her brother and she thought the whole thing was disgusting. She ended up freaking out on her brother while he just rambled on and on about nonsense. He said something about her wanting to be a stripper at Al's Diamond Cabaret in Reading, Pennsylvania. She did say that was true but she couldn't get over the fact that he told Howard he'd slept with her. She told Howard she needs to pay for her schooling as a dental assistant and she wants implants to look a little better. Howard told her she was pretty hot and she doesn't need them.

Gary came in and read part of the letter that this guy wrote to the show about his sister. In it he said something about how they wanted to have kids together but they can't. Then the sister says that she's got 3 kids but they're not with her brother. He's their uncle! That's one of the reasons she wants the implants. She thinks they sag after having the 3 kids and wants them lifted.

The sister says that she now has to drive home 2 and a half hours with her brother and he's no longer going to be allowed in her home. She said he's not even going to be ''Uncle Alex'' anymore.

Alex stuck with his story for a little while but eventually admitted he did it all just to get on the show. He gave a few shout-outs to his buddies at Airborne Express in Pottstown, Pennsylvania.

Howard did have the sister take down her top so he could see just how bad the breasts were. He and Gary both agreed that they're fine and she could dance with them just the way they are.

After Howard was interrupted with the news of Bill dropping out of the ''Mitts on a Misfit'' game he had to wrap up the phony incest thing. The brother was way too annoying and unfunny to keep it going.

-- Thursday June 14, 2001 --

''Put Your Mitts On A Misfit'' Million Dollar Contest Winner Announced. 6/14/01. 6:05amHoward said that AJ Benza was sitting in this morning even though he's sick. AJ spent a couple of minutes talking about his night out before Howard started talking about the million dollar contest. He said there is a winner but he didn't want to talk about it quite yet.

Howard was also talking about how wacky the phony incestuous brother and sister were on the show yesterday. He gave a quick synopsis about how they came in to talk about having sex with each other but it turned out the guy had lied about the whole thing and the sister didn't even know why she was there until Gary told her. She wanted to get on the air to deny the story once she found out. The whole thing was crazy.

Gary told Howard that Tom Chiusano won the pool they had on the number of hours the ''Mitts on a Misfit'' contest would last. It went about 61 hours and Tom was the lucky person to have that time in the pool. Everyone was upset about that.

Howard took a couple of phone calls before getting to the big moment. One caller asked Howard what his favorite ''drug movie'' was. Howard thought about it for a minute and said ''Scarface'' was the best one. Then the guy asked Howard what his favorite drug was. Howard immediately said quaaludes. He and AJ then spent a few minutes talking about the drug and Howard's experiences with it. He also talked about all of the other drugs he's tried in his life and how ''empty'' the whole experience is. He thinks that it all comes out of boredom. He also thinks that all drugs should be legalized.

Howard and AJ swapped stories about Kylie Bax and how she can use someone to get herself on camera. That seems to be how she's gotten famous and Howard didn't want anything to do with it when he was able to get her phone number.

At around 6:45 Howard finally got around to having the people from GoldenPalace.com present the winner of the ''Put Your Mitts on a Misfit'' with their $1 million check. Howard had the two finalists come in and it looked like Maurizio was in the best shape. Bill, the other guy, was limping so Howard figured he'd lost. He was wrong! Bill Charles Farner was the million dollar winner. Maurizio had apparently started to hallucinate near the end and he stuck gum in his ears to block out some noise! Howard checked out the final moments of the contest on his TV monitor. Maurizio took both hands off to do the gum thing and he didn't even realize what he'd done because he was so out of it. Bill told Howard he was ready to give up near the end but he was able to stick it out through all of the pain in his feet.

Howard even had audio from right after the event and Maurizio was all upset that they wanted him back this morning. He got about 6 hours of sleep after being on his feet for 61 hours and 30 minutes.

Gary said that one of the E! guys told him he thought for sure Maurizio would win this thing because he was doing so well. Howard congratulated Bill on his win and Fred from GoldenPalace.com came in and gave him his check. Bill is the guy who has been divorced twice now and neither one will be able to get a hold of any of this money. He's retired from the military and works as a custodian part time.

Gary thanked everyone that was involved in the contest including the ''misfits'' and Jodi from K-Rock who set the whole thing up. He also thanked GoldenPalace.com who have supported them a couple of times including the big Las Vegas bet they had placed a couple of months ago.

Fur Protester Boscar Sinhar 6/14/01. 7:15amYesterday Ted Nugent told Howard a story about a fur protester that he made a citizens arrest on after he allegedly threatened him. That protester, Boscar Sinhar, called in this morning to tell his side of the story. Of course it was completely different than Ted's. Ted claimed that Boscar made the first threat, Boscar says that it was Ted who made the threats and spit on one of the protestors.When Boscar said that what he was doing was a felony, Ted grabbed him and told the cops on him. Boscar said that after he was charged with felony threats and assaulting a cop the charges were dropped when they reviewed the security surveillance video from the store that he was protesting. It clearly showed that he didn't assault a cop. Boscar said he'd even confront Ted live on the air if he could. Gary told Howard a short time later that Ted would be back in tomorrow at 8:30am. Boscar will be there.

Dominic Barbara called in and said he wants to represent this guy and sue Ted over the comments he's made about Boscar in the media. He thinks if they sue Ted Nugent they can do very well.

Goofing On Shaq And Dikembe. 6/14/01. 7:55amHoward mentioned that voice impressionist Rich Little will be on the show tomorrow. That led to everyone doing impressions on the show. Howard was saying that he doesn't think Dikembe Mutombo sounds like Cookie Monster anymore, he sounds like the late Herve Villechez. Howard played some tape of both Shaquille O'Neil and Dikembe after the basketball game last night. He ended up doing his impression of Shaq for a few minutes. Robin mentioned that Shaq is a little cross-eyed and that got Howard goofing on him even more. He was talking in that monotone voice that Shaq has and talking about how when he cries, his tears run down his back because he's so cross-eyed. He also said he can see his own ear wax with that crossed eye.

Howard moved on to talk about some trivia he'd read in a book. He said it was fascinating to find out that a 21 gun salute is taken from the year 1776. If you add up 1, 7, 7, and 6 you get 21. That's where that whole thing comes from.He had a bunch of other quick trivia bits that he went through to kill some time.

A phone caller brought up AJ Benza's hair and how it's thinning. He wondered if AJ is going to do anything about it. That led to a whole discussion about thinning hair and how his balding head was shown prominently on his new TV show. Howard and Robin said it was like they were interviewing the back of his head during the whole interview with Luther Vandross. AJ said he's going to wait a couple of years and see what happens. He might just end up shaving it or getting a crew cut. He says he doesn't want to take any hair growing drugs because he's heard that some of them take away your sex drive and he doesn't want any part of that.

Another phone caller asked AJ why he's even on the show. The caller says that AJ is boring and he wants to turn the show off whenever he's on. AJ says he's on because ''the boss'' (Howard) wants him on. Howard told the caller he thinks AJ is interesting and he has him in once in a while. The caller then demanded that Howard get Jackie back on the show. Howard just said ''Why? I don't need him!'' and went to break a few seconds later.

Nicolino The Bra-Ball Guy. 6/14/01. 8:45amThis guy Nicolino has a giant ball of women's bras. Howard found out about it and wanted to know why the guy has this thing. He had Nicolino on the phone and asked him what it's about. Nicolino told Howard it's conceptual art. He's been collecting women's bras from around the world for about 8 years now and he has them all balled up and now he's taking it on tour. He's looking for more sponsorship to take it on a bigger tour also. Howard said it's the most hideous thing he's ever seen and couldn't understand why anyone would waste their time doing something like this. Nicolino, who's 61, said he's been doing conceptual art for 10 years or so and this is just one of his projects. He somehow managed to get a $60,000 grant to do the thing too. He works as an architect in his spare time.

Howard only spent about 5 minutes talking to the guy because it's such a ridiculous thing. He gave his web site a plug before he got off the phone. NicolinosBraBall.com

Brian Walker's Home Made Rocket. 6/14/01. 8:50amAnother strange call Howard took was from this guy who is going to try and shoot himself up 35 miles in his own rocket next year. Howard talked to the guy on the phone to find out how and why he's doing this. Brian told Howard he's had a dream since he was a kid to eventually go up in space. He said he realized when he was young that he didn't have the desire to go through the whole training thing for NASA so he moved on with his life. He became a toy inventer and has done very well for himself. He then decided to build his own full sized, one person, rocket. He's invested a lot of money and a lot of research in this thing. He's read a lot about how things should work and has a lot of the rocket completed. He plans to fly next May. Brian said that he plans on going 35 miles straight up and come right back down. He says he'll parachute back down right to the spot where he took off from. It won't be a long flight. He said he doesn't really need permission from NASA to do this but he will have to get a waiver from the FAA to go up away from commercial jet traffic. He's going to do this out in a deserted section around Nevada somewhere. He said there will probably be some corporate sponsorship when he's ready to go up so it may pay for his investment.

Howard told Brian he has two words for him... ''JFK Jr.'' Brian just laughed. A phone caller asked Brian if he'd take Nicolino's bra ball with him up there.

Brian said that he's visited the Russians and they've even brought him up in a fighter jet to 80,000 feet. He thinks he's prepared to do all of this.

We also found out that Brian met a Russian woman through the internet and he may eventually get together with her. That may change his plans on how many times he'll go up in this rocket of his.

A former NASA weather forecaster told this guy that the upper-level winds will effect his flight and he may not have planned for that. Brian seems to know what he's talking about and he does have plans for that kind of stuff. If you'd like to check it out for yourself just visit Brian's web site RocketGuy.com.

Strippers And Erections. 6/14/01. 9:20amA phone caller by the name of Rich inquired about this former intern Shannon that called in yesterday. Shannon moved out to Los Angeles and became a stripper. Howard convinced her to come back to New York to work at Scores for a week so they could see her. Rich begged and pleaded with Howard to be able to go with them to Scores to see Shannon. Howard agreed to let him go even though Gary wasn't so sure it was a good idea. He didn't think the guy would know how to behave and he might turn into a ''Benjy'' and just stare at Howard. Howard still agreed to let the guy go to see Shannon strip. This will be happening during the week of June 25.

Howard and the rest of the guys were trying to figure out who would be getting the first dance from Shannon. Howard said he didn't want to go first for some reason. Stuttering John said he'd go first. Howard decided he'd go last. Benjy probably won't even be allowed to get a dance from her even though he claims to be good friends with her. He said he knows her better than anyone but Howard said that doesn't matter one bit.

Stuttering John said that there's a new trend at Scores... real breasts, not implants. He said that it's great and Lonnie has done a great job of picking the latest batch of strippers.

Howard had Ronnie the Limo Driver come in to talk about his experience with one of these herbal sexual enhancers. He didn't mention the name of the one he used but he said he got it at a GNC heath food store. He said he took a couple of the pills a few hours before he had sex with his wife. He didn't feel any different at first but once he got aroused he said he felt like a teenager with a steel ''stick''. He said it was amazing and when he ''finished'' it was amazing. He said he didn't last any longer than usual but the final result was much better.

Another phone caller got Howard talking about his diet and workout routine for a few minutes. Howard said he no longer weighs himself so he doesn't know his weight but he's looking good according to everyone in the studio. Howard admits he can't bulk up his body but he does keep it lean and semi-muscular by lifting weights and watching the amount of food he eats. He said that he's now only ''dooting'' about once every two days.

-- Friday June 15, 2001 --

Various Stuff. 6/15/01. 6:05amHoward said that the big confrontation between Ted Nugent and the fur protester Boscar will not be happening today. Yesterday it was scheduled by Gary but Howard says Ted backed out. He thinks that Ted might think he's wrong in all of this and he doesn't want to confront this guy.

Howard and Robin were discussing some lawsuit against a restaurant owner over some kind of sickness that overcame a bunch of patrons recently and Dominic Barbara is representing the restaurant. Howard said his parents go to the restaurant and they say the guy that runs the place is the nicest guy in the world and it's sad to see this happening to him. Howard wondered how a small business owner can do when 500 people bring a lawsuit against him. It was all because of some contaminated lettuce. Dominic said he's representing this guy for free because he's a friend of his. He said the restaurant is very clean and it was one contaminated thing of lettuce that probably caused all of the problems.

Yesterday Dominic Barbara mentioned that he was on Viagra. Gary was unaware of that so he questioned him about that. Dominic was gurgling his way through his explanation and saying how he wasn't performing at the level he thought he should so he tried the Viagra and it worked.

Howard came back from a commercial and took a call from King of all Blacks. Howard had mentioned yesterday that his girlfriend helped him shave his chest hair and KOAB wanted to know how he makes that happen. Howard said not to get married, that's how you can keep someone that interested in you. KOAB said that his girl used to do stuff like that for him but she doesn't anymore. Howard asked if he still does stuff for her. He says he does but who knows for sure.

Howard also wondered why people even want to get married these days. He was out with some people over the weekend and the woman is really looking to get married but the guy isn't. He just doesn't understand what the big deal is. Howard then went on to talk about a story he read in the NY Times over the weekend about a divorced guy down in Texas who found out that 2 out of his 3 kids weren't biologically his. He found out, went to court and was able to stop paying child support for the two that weren't his. He told his kids about the whole thing and the court order said he wasn't allowed to tell them. He broke the order and has now lost visitation of his biological child. The guy lost custody to the woman who lied to him about the kids for years and now he can't see them at all even though he lives in the same town.

Howard said that before people have kids they should have to take care of someone else's kids for 6 months. Once they find out how hard it really is they probably won't have any. Everyone was sharing stories of people they knew who had kids and regretted it just a few months after having them. Dominic Barbara was back on the phone to talk about the custody cases he's worked on also.

The Gossip Game With Guest Sarah Silverman. 6/15/01. 7:00amComedian Sarah Silverman, who was on Saturday Night Live for one season, came in to talk to Howard about the movie ''Evolution'' that she appears in. She was also there to play the Mike Walker Gossip Game.

Howard spent a few minutes talking to Sarah about her one season on SNL and how she had no clue she was going to be fired. She said she had a great time there working with people like Adam Sandler, Chris Farley and all of those guys. She was only 22 at the time and she thinks she just wasn't ready back then. She thinks she was a little too young and unprepared. She's been doing stand-up comedy since she was 17. Howard pointed out how hot she is and how all of the comedians lust after her.

Howard wondered if Sarah actually found Adam Sandler funny when she worked with him. She thought he was the greatest thing. She said he always made everyone laugh in writing meetings and she even likes all of his movies. Howard told her he just doesn't get Sandler at all. Someone suggested that he get Sandler in the studio to see just how funny he is.

Howard read in his notes that Sarah was a bed wetter when she was in her teens. He found that to be sexy. She said she regularly wet her bed until she was 15. Then after she was fired from SNL she wet the bed 3 more times in about a month. She said one time was with a guy friend of her's that she sleeps (just sleeps) with. Then she did it again with a guy she was having sex with but none of the guys ever cared that she did it. Howard said he wouldn't care either because she's so cute.

Mike Walker called in and Howard quickly played their weekly game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. You can win money there also. Here are this week's stories:

Ben Affleck was at a casino up in Montreal getting very belligerent after blowing about $70,000. He ended up throwing his cards in the dealer's face.

Jerry Springer was jogging one morning and was getting very tired. He decided to take a short cut through a recycling junk yard. He jumped the fence and then heard a dog come after him. He somehow climbed a tree and got on top of a shed where he waited for the place to open.

Country Singer Tim McGraw has had women lick his boots on stage. He says he's amazed because when he was in high school he couldn't even get a date.

Shaquille O'Neil was told by his coach not to shoot a pick-up basketball game for a friend of his who was making a music video until after the season was over. One day Shaq snuck out, grabbed a pair of sneakers that turned out to be two left ones, and shot the video. He told the video crew not to shoot his feet or tell anyone that he'd played the game.

Sarah and Howard both picked number 2 while Fred and AJ Benza (who was sitting in this morning) picked number 3. Robin was the only one to go with number 1. The actual false story was number three so both AJ and Fred got it right. AJ says he got it right because he ''knows the business'' better than the rest of these guys.

Mike told Howard how great it was to hear Sarah talking about wetting her bed. He said it made some great radio. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that. He said that Sarah will be appearing at Caroline's comedy club in New York next week. Check out Carolines.com for more info.

Rich Little Comes In. 6/15/01. 7:55amVoice impressionist Rich Little came in this morning to promote a show he's doing called ''The Presidents'' at Montclair University from June 14-24. Howard and Robin talked about how great Rich was when he would appear on The Tonight Show years ago. Rich then came in and spoke to Howard about his life. He said he's been married 2 times and he's done with that whole thing. He and his first wife split after 18 years of marriage and then he got married to another woman and only stayed married for a year and a half. They were actually working together doing impressions but it didn't work out. He said she just picked up her stuff and walked out after doing a show in Missouri. He said he should have known something was up when she said she wanted to be a gospel singer. He said he only spent about $2-3 million on that divorce. He said he got off easy.

Howard also brought up the whole Johnny Carson thing and how they just blew him off after he'd done so much for them. Rich said that he hosted the show 8-10 times for Johnny and they eventually just stopped calling him one day. He still doesn't know why. He said he spoke to the producer of the show and he told Rich that they just weren't booking voice impressionists anymore because that was getting old. Rich said a week after that Dana Carvey would be on the show doing his George Bush impression so it was obviously something else. Rich said Johnny never thanked him or even acknowledged what he did on the show anyway.

Rich said he saw Johnny recently and he's not looking all that good. He said he's completely bald but he does look like he's staying in shape. He can't imagine why he hasn't done anything since leaving the Tonight Show though. Howard thinks it's because he's so vain and he just doesn't want anyone to see him looking the way he does.

Rich told Howard about this show he's doing, ''The Presidents''. He said he does impressions of all of the presidents since JFK right up to George W. Bush in the two hour show. It's supposed to be a serious look at the presidencies but there is a lot of comedy in it. Rich did a few of his presidential impressions for Howard. He also did an awful Arnold Schwarzenegger. He and Howard did a couple seconds worth of Bob Hope too. Surprisingly the two of them do Bob almost exactly the same. Rich said that Hope isn't in that great of shape. He's in his 90's so it's not surprising.

Howard wrapped everything up and told Rich that he should do some phony phone calls with his impressions. He said it would be funny if he could start a nuclear war by calling someone as George W. Bush or something like that. You can get ticket info for ''The Presidents'' by calling (973) 655-5112.

Breaking The News To Boscar. 6/15/01. 8:35amHoward spent a few minutes talking about the top five songs in the music charts which led to a discussion about the MTV show ''Cribs'' and how they feature a lot of rappers showing off their extravagant homes. Howard also talked about the Hip Hop Summit and how wacky that was.

Howard also got this guy Boscar who called in yesterday. Boscar is the guy who Ted Nugent claims threatened his family so he had him arrested. Yesterday Ted agreed to return to the show today to confront Boscar but then he backed out. Howard spoke to Boscar for a few minutes about what happened and how Ted let him down by backing out. Boscar just called Ted a liar and he's afraid to confront him because he knows he's wrong about the whole thing. Boscar says he'll come on the show anytime Ted wants to. Ted's manager told Gary that he had some family commitments and that's why he couldn't come in today.

Blind Bob's Golf Date With Joe Pesci. 6/15/01. 8:45amA couple of months back Howard set this guy Blind Bob up with a trip to Las Vegas to play golf with Joe Pesci. Blind Bob called in quickly this morning to say that he went on the trip and got to meet Joe. He said he even got a par 3 on one of the hardest holes with Joe. He has a guy who helps him aim and he did pretty well. He said he joked around with Joe and Joe told him to say ''hello'' to Howard for him. Bob said no cameras were allowed on the course at the time so they don't have any video footage of it. He said he does have one picture of himself and Joe Pesci together but that's about it. After getting off the phone with Bob Howard said it probably wasn't even the real Joe Pesci. It was probably Rich Little standing there doing his impression of Joe or something.

Howard's Mail Bag. 6/15/01. 8:50amHoward had a whole bunch of crap to get to this morning to Gary brought it in and Howard picked some of the stuff he wanted to talk about. The first thing up was an article from the Weekly World News where they compare Howard to George W. Bush and how they're having parallel lives. It was kind of funny how the writer compared things like Robin being Howard's sidekick and Dick Cheney being Bush's sidekick. He says that Batman's sidekick was Robin and Robin's real name was Dick... There's one comparison. A little bit of a stretch but that's how the whole article was.

Howard spent a little time on an article about Martin Lawrence and how hard he is to work with. Howard read some of the wacky things the guy does on the sets of the movies he works on.

Gary mentioned an article about a woman who flipped her golf cart on a course and ended up drowning. This led to a big discussion about General Manager Tom Chiusano and how much he enjoys golfing. Tom golfs as often as he possibly can. He came in and talked about how he takes clients on golf outings all the time. When he goes on vacation, he golfs as many days as he can. He's taking a couple of weeks off and in 2 weeks he'll probably golf 5-7 days. This also led to Howard and the crew discussing whether or not Tom grew up in a rich family. Tom said he was ''middle class'' but he was playing tennis and golf when he was just a kid so Howard and everyone else agree that he had to be a rich kid. Stuttering John said you don't get into the country club he belonged to without being ''rich''.

Stuttering John's drinking was also a major subject of discussion for a few minutes. John still doesn't see it as being an alcoholic and he argued with everyone like he's done so many other times in the past.

Porn Star Rebecca Lord Visits. 6/15/01. 9:40amThis porn actress Rebecca Lord who was on the show back in 1999 came in to make a statement or something crazy like that. Howard ended up talking to her about porn. He also had her strip down while she talked to him with her annoying French accent. Her whole reason for coming in was to make a statement about how the Catholic Priests are coming down on the porn industry. Howard let her talk about that for a few seconds before trying to shut her up by telling her she was right. He said that Priests have no right telling porn stars they're doing something wrong while they're molesting young boys.

Howard had her strip down for him and he said she had a smokin' body. Her breasts are real but they're a bit small according to her. She said she doesn't want implants at this time but it's possible that when she gets older she might need them.

Gary came in and told Howard that while he was watching her on his monitor she was really hot and her accent wasn't that bad. But when he turned away and couldn't see her the accent got really annoying. By the time Howard was ready to wrap things up he'd agreed to let her spank him. She did that real quick shortly before he took a commercial break. You can check out Rebecca at WetDreamsXXX.com.

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