How can anyone dislike Tiger Woods? He’s never done anything wrong; he’s only done everything right. I dare you to even try to attempt to dig up something he’s done wrong. I DARE you.

Can you picture Tiger Woods not smiling? I know you can’t. It’s impossible. Tiger has only one facial expression: a smile. A humungous smile.

Also, he’s a golfer. Golfing is a harmless sport. On the golf course, unless you’re Happy Gilmore, golfers are calm, cool, collected, quiet, smooth, and awesome. How can a rational human being dislike anyone with the qualities of a golfer? Impossible. Impossible.

The only negative about Mr. Tiger Woods? None. There isn’t one. There is absolutely nothing negative about Tiger Woods. You’d be severely hard-pressed to find a more amiable character. No one dislikes Tiger Woods because there is no reason to dislike him. Do you agree with me? No matter. You are wrong.