The pReview Re-viewingFriday Breakdown for

October 19, 2012

(warning: You are interested in this.)Click movie posters to open their Official Websites in a separate window!

by Jeff Finckwritten: October 18, 2012

I've come to be known as the "movie guy" to most of my friends. If someone needs to know who was in that movie that time?” or “What’s that movie? You know, the one where that stuff happens?” I'm usually on top of it. I love movies. I’m pretty much a giant movie whore. Whenever I get depressed, I watch movies. Whenever I'm happy, I watch movies. And if I want to watch a movie, I watch a movie! All of that said, it totally doesn’t mean that I'm entirely one note. I don't always have to relate things to movies. I have the ability to carry on meaningful conversations with people without resorting to movie quotes or references. I am a fully fleshed out person of society and I know that there is a time and place for movie and pop culture references. But, when I get "banana" on Draw Something, I know that the appropriate image to accompany it should totally be..

John Chimpo, attourney at law.

Now, despite the fact that there are only two movies hitting wide release this weekend, I'm going to power through! The Paranormal Activity series gets another, totally necessary sequel with Paranormal Activity 4.. One more in the series and it gets a free pizza! The only other movie to hit wide release this weekend will be another cinematic take on James Patterson's hero, Alex Cross, in Alex Cross. Alex Cross being portrayed by Tyler Perry, now.. Tyler Perry, of course, taking a break from being an obese, sass-master to swapping heads with Morgan Freeman.

For all of you racists out there.. I switched their heads.

Alex Cross

If you make even one Madea joke.. Tyler PErry is going to shoot you.

First of all, I know that it has got to be hard shaking a role that you've become so famous for ingraining into the hearts and minds of people everywhere.. People of all races, all creeds, all shapes and sizes. So believe me when I say that it is good seeing Tyler Perry take such a departure from his previous role of Admiral Richard Barrett, the head of Starfleet Academy. Tyler Perry now plays Alex Cross, defender of girls who have been kissed and destroyer of spiders.. Who.. Came along. He is hunting down a sadistic serial killer (Matthew Fox) with his team of other crack hunterers down: Rachel Nichols and Edward Burns! Can they catch the guy before he breaks Alex both physically and mentally? Okay, fine.. I'll make the joke..

Because Mabel Simmons will fucking cut you.

Paranormal Activity 4

Warning: staring directly into the "4" for too long will result in possession. SO STOP FUCKING STARING AT IT!

The trailer for this shows a young blonde girl being terrorized by the entity that has been given carte blanche with the daughter of a family of total dicks. Now, in its fourth movie.. People are super excited to see how it turns out!

"I like the previous comment!" - Danny Spies of Spies and Spies, Unlimited

"Paranormal Activity is what comes out of my ass every time I eat chili." - Kimberley Kirby of Kimberley Kirby and Associates

"So there I was locked in mortal thumb wrestling combat with two midgets... I just hoped Paranormal Activity 4 would arrive in time to save me." - Kyle Hilliar of the Dancing Hilliars

"The joke is the movie. they just need to stop." - laughed Derick Jackson of Beigman, Inc.

And Katie Jackson of Miracles on Ice said, "So three guys walk into a bar and the fourth one ducks.....out early to go watch Paranormal Activity 4 and his friends make fun of him but he does it anyway and his night was mediocre."

It sounds like it's unanimous! They'd all rather watch:

GAH!

Final Breakdown: This week's Final Breakdown is brought to you by the numbers 1 and 2.. On a scale of 1 to 2.

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