According to the internet -- always a reluctant source that requires some beating before it spits out the Truth along with some teeth -- the Australian Classication Board (ACB) did very stupid things recently. Initially (again, according to The Internet) it seemed they had banned women with A-cup breasts from appearing on adult publications, because regardless of the person's actual age, they think small breasts encourage child pornography, and they have also banned depictions of female orgasms if there is visible ejaculation involved -- i.e. squirting.

The thought process behind such a decision is to utterly retarded that even Australia -- a country that refuses to allow any videogames rated above 15+ into its borders -- deserved the benefit of the doubt. The Tumblr post that pointed me to all this, via cjwhite reblogging sneak046 via Templesmith (at least I think that's the correct order), pointed to this article.

A little Internet searching allowed me to see where it all stemmed from and how the Internet reacted to it:

I am no journalist at all, but the latter article apparently confirms that:

1) APPEARING TO BE under eighteen is enough to ban any image or video of your nude body, regardless of age. The ACB says the breast size is not specified on this guideline. But it's pretty obvious small breasts can be associated with young age.

2) The fetish known as "golden showers" is banned, not orgasmic squirting. Of course, the ACB seems to be a little lost on the difference.

Even if it doesn't seem to be as incredibly stupid as initial internet sensationalism depicted - I still find it very, very stupid. Trying to ban "women who appear to be 18" from adult publications and videos regulated by the FBI because it might encourage child pornography?

I wonder if their next target against pedophilia will be banning pictures such as:

a country that refuses to allow any videogames rated above 15+ into its borders

Actually, 18+ games will be allowed in soon (apparently)

The fetish known as "golden showers" is banned, not orgasmic squirting. Of course, the ACB seems to be a little lost on the difference.

Don't really have much of a problem with that...the tittilation value of golden showers has always puzzled me...

Anyway, yes, our censorship laws are fairly fail-worthy, and apparently we're going to suffer national internet filters, but there are ways around everything...

But, considering the party in power is meant to be left-wing (Labour party), they're behaving an awful lot like the conservative Liberal party (confusing, that, isn't it?) when it comes to censorship...

The level of censorship in Australia is something of an embarrassment for most Aussies. Nobody ever seems to get to vote for any of these standards; the government just surreptitiously eases them into place and hopes nobody notices.

Britain’s first female porn director, Anna Span has won a historic victory with the passing of her DVD, ‘Women Love Porn’ which includes a woman clearly ejaculating.

On initial submission to the British Board of Film Classification, the board asked for compulsory edits to remove the female ejaculation section, as they believed the woman to be urinating and argued therefore it fell foul of the Obscene Publications Act. Even though most countries worldwide which allow pornography, do not single out female as opposed to male, ejaculation for censoring, the BBFC historically do not believe in the phenomenon. They have refused to pass previous films such as Ben Dover’s Squirt Queens in May 2001, saying that they had not received a convincing enough argument to support the existence of FE.

Determined to put the record straight, Anna Span presented the BBFC with irrefutable scientific evidence in support of model DJ’s ability to ‘squirt,’ as it is known in the adult industry. Anna says; ‘I am really proud to have changed this outdated ruling and to have made a difference to women who experience this in their own lives throughout the UK. It was never fair that the BBFC dismissed their orgasms as urinary incontinence’

Initially the BBFC stood their ground and refused to pass the film but when Anna pushed for a hearing with the Video Appeals Committee, they later backed down after taking legal advice. They say that their ‘position remains fundamentally unchanged for future releases’ although it is difficult to see how they can argue against future claims for DVDs which contain FE, now that this precedent has been set.

But probably not. The prudishness and 'moral' positions of the current OzGov astound me.

This is a yet another case of something being banned because the 'ruling class' finds it either distasteful, or a suitable band-wagon to jump on.

Banning porn featuring certain performers based on their appearance is a really, really bad move. And who will make the determination that a model 'appears under 18'? It's not gonna make a jot of difference to the peddlers of actual child porn at all either.

Slightly off-topic, The UK has another grey area within the regulation regarding what can and can't be shown on screen. Someone I know used work in the industry and did quite a few CFNM shoots in a school setting (boys school, women teachers, I think you catch the drift...) - There was no problem in showing models dressed in school-uniform, but one time she was going to introduce a video with the words "Hello boys and girls" but was told she couldn't as this would be against the law..

It's kind of wonderful in a way, but terrible at the same time, that a bunch of people had to sit in a committee room and debate whether to pass female ejaculation films using testimony from scientists. That must have been one fucking surreal meeting, and one which I'd love to have gone to.

But didn't film it, because that would be illegal. Also, really gross.

Oddly enough, I would have a problem with Australia banning golden shower videos if I lived there. I mean, never in my life do I care about seeing one, but it's a harmless (if icky) enough kink that it seems weird to ban it. Allowing in politicians who can alter national policy based on logic best described as "Eeeeewwww!" is never a good idea.

Don't really have much of a problem with that...the tittilation value of golden showers has always puzzled me...

Well, the titillation value of anal sex puzzles me, but I don't want it banned because there's quite a few gay guys that rather enjoy it, as I understand things and it's not my place to enforce my beliefs onto their lives.

Hey: pee, poo, cake, sodomy - whatever floats your more buoyant bits. To each his own and all that. Speaking for myself, I come gifting bears.

What it boils down to is if you want your porn, you're going to get your porn. Regardless of what the government says. As Lazarus99 - there are ways around everything...

As with every other documented case in which the "censorship argument" [you simply cannot justify calling it a debate] reared its fugly head, it all comes down to one thing.

The shouty people.

They don't like something they shout about it. They're shouty people, it's what they do. Unfortunately, if they don't like it their shouty thinking lump decrees that no one else should either. And much shouting follows. Usually concessions are made just so they'll shut the fuck up. And once the silence settles, whatever was banned is usually un-banned.

My fellow Australians: how many films and games has this happened to? Quite a few. In fact, my brother just ordered a game that was just recently un-banned. Our next real concern should be the shouty that's already brewing over 'Kick-Ass' the Movie ... conveniently ignoring that the comic has been easily available since last year. You see, shouty people are stupid people. Don't let them trouble you.

At least we didn't ban big breasts too. That would be un-Australian. Now ... about India and that whole "Australians are racist" thing ...

Well, a lot of people get off on it. What is the Classification Board afraid of, that golden shower videos will encourage urinating?

No, it's the other way around. They should ban urinating to stop golden showers! Starting from themselves and thus hopefully dying of kidney failure or something and sparing everyone else the grief.

There are people who get off to every possible bodily fluid, body part, piece of clothing or any activity. Or equipment. A girl dressed in a maid uniform wearing yellow gloves and washing up dishes while wearing a collar will be hot to people who are into kitchen/gardening/rubber gloves, people who are into maid uniforms, people who are into submission and people who are into maid duty. And will probably make couple of crossdressers quite jealous too. Oh, and if she's wearing heels and fishnets, that adds two more "fetish demographics" to the mix.