Communication is more than the
words we speak. Communication is about who we are and how we
express ourselves and relate to the world. Communication is the
message we deliver through nonverbal as well as verbal means.
Communication is the ultimate expression of who we are.

Here are 10 ideas to consider.
Experiment with these ideas to begin to experience communication
and life more powerfully.

1. Be clear about what you
want to express. What
do you most want the other person or organization to understand?
What is the primary idea, concept or message you want the other
to understand as a result of your communication? Often we spend
more time speaking about superficial matters rather than addressing
the core, significant and underlying concepts. To communicate
effectively with another requires an inner clarity and a thorough
communication with your self (You can't make a request if you
don't know what you want!). (Tip: Check in with yourself frequently
and ask yourself what you most want from the situation. Any situation.)

2. Tact and good manners matter.
But don't let good manners
inhibit you from speaking your truth! If your communication isn't
honest, integrity is lost and relationships suffer. Tact matters
as much as honesty! (Tip: Ask yourself if you're hiding under
the pretense of manners because "I don't want to hurt their
feelings." Are you using this as an excuse to avoid acknowledging
or expressing your perspective? Develop tact and be compassionate
in your truthfulness.)

4. Perspective matters. From what perspective do you speak? We
each have different perspectives based on our positions, motivations
& needs. Understand the framework you speak & listen
from. Recognize that your framework influences how you listen
and what you listen for. (Tip: Enhance communication by observing
the filters and paradigms we listen through.)

5. Diversity & Common
Ground. Diversity contributes
an unparalleled richness and depth to our experience. Diversity
expands our perspective and therefore, our communication. Learn
the art of integrating diverse viewpoints by identifying the
common ground. Identify the interests of the person you're speaking
with, so as to find the shared purpose, perspective, motivator
or values. This is essential for rapport and consensus building.
(Tip: Identify and speak from common ground even as we live &
communicate our differences. Appreciate that diverse viewpoints
enlarge our perspective. Honor the differences and incorporate
them into your perspective for a richer and more powerful communication.
Create a context large enough to hold diverse viewpoints. )

6. Alignment & Congruency. When words and actions are aligned,
powerful results occur! Lack of alignment between words and action
creates conflict and results in a loss of power. The more
consistently we align our actions with our values & intentions,
the more powerful our communication becomes. (Tip: check in with
yourself to ensure that your actions are consistently aligned
with your intentions.)

7. Silence. Communication isn't only the words a
person verbalizes - it's also the silence between the words.
We learn about each other by what we don't say as much as by
what we say. We learn about each other by listening to which
topics we discuss as well as the ones we avoid. This occurs in
all types of relationships - organizational, professional and
intimate. What topics does your organization NOT discuss?
What topics are avoided by your business partner or by your spouse?
What do YOU avoid? (Tip: Listen to the silences as much as to
the words for a deeper understanding of who the person or organization
is.)

8. The nature of conflict.
Conflict & differences
of opinion are inevitable, unavoidable and enormously productive.
We learn more from differences of opinion than from validation.
While validation provides support & encouragement, it's our
differences that create an expanded product or viewpoint. Don't
avoid conflict -- seek to communicate with those who appreciate
& can communicate differences of opinion. (Tip: Diversity
expands our possibilities! Develop the skill of mediation so
as to create powerful and synergistic outcomes.)

9. Communication contains
context, text and subtext. Communication
is the sum of our perspective (context), the words we use (text)
as well as our personal motivators and perspectives (subtext).
Subtext is also the meaning and the emotions that we assign to
the text.

Communication involves all of
these things. Effective communication therefore requires awareness,
flexibility and an acute yet agile listening - there's a lot
to listen for! (Tip: Pay attention to context, text and subtext
for a more thorough listening & communication.)

10. Responsibility. Communication is about being 100% responsible
for the other person's listening. This means that if you don't
feel understood, you've not completed the job of communicating.
Don't blame others for their not hearing you; take responsibility
for re-communicating your position to ensure that you've been
properly heard. Take responsibility not only for what you say,
but also for how you're heard! (Tip: Don't be attached to your
choice of words! Be flexible in your communication & be willing
to re-think how you can communicate a concept in a different
way, so it can be heard. Play with your words until you've found
the words that properly express what you want to say. Re-format
your ideas if necessary.)