How To Make Sure You Don’t Misgender Someone!

Hello TheSprout readers!

I’m a new writer to TheSprout. My pronouns are she/her. I will probably do a lot of LGBT+ posts, and often the occasional chapter of a book I’m writing. So, I hope you enjoy my work.

How to make sure you do not misgender someone

The world we live in today is growing rapidly, and with this growth, people are becoming more okay with the LGBT+ community. Being part of this community myself (a pansexual cis-female), I know how important correct pronouns and genderising is. And I also know that it can be devastating and quite agitating if you get misgendered.

So, here are some top tips on how to make sure you don’t offend someone in the LGBT+ community.

1) First off, just simply ask them.

I have a few gender queer friends, and they’ve all told me from past experiences that they would much rather be asked what pronouns and gender they identify with rather than be misgendered.

2) Just use ‘they’ until you know for sure without asking.

The pronoun ‘they’ is often an umbrella term for anyone, so it is very rare that the person will be offended by this.

3) Do not assume what gender/pronouns someone is by their clothes.

Many people may be cross-dressers or, they just want to wear whatever they want.

4) Don’t deadname.

It isn’t pronouns, but it can hurt just as much. Deadnaming is when you call a gender queer person by their birth name. They can have changed their name because it was either too feminine or masculine, or even both. So make sure you do not call them by this.

What you can do if you accidentally misgender, misuse of pronouns or deadname someone

Judging by their reaction, you can usually tell you have made a mistake. So, you can do any of these things:

1) You MUST apologise immediately, and say that you will try your best to not make that mistake again.

2) You can immediately correct yourself, along with an apology.

3) If you didn’t know they were gender queer, you can ask them where you went wrong along with an apology.

4) Do not centre the attention on you. For example, if they start crying or get angry, don’t ask them to cut you some slack, you don’t understand how hard it is for them to be who they are, and then get told differently.