9 Weeks - Is she going to stay crazy?!

I love her soo much God help me I do. She is mean and rude and sad and angry all the time. I remember when she was happy sometimes but now its like nothing is good and everything is negative. Will this get better or do I have to look forward to 31 more weeks of this?

I love her soo much God help me I do. She is mean and rude and sad and angry all the time. I remember when she was happy sometimes but now its like nothing is good and everything is negative. Will this get better or do I have to look forward to 31 more weeks of this?

It will probably get better. I was prone to random crying and irrational outbursts for the first 4 months of this pregnancy (coincidentally, the craziness got much better around week 17 when I stopped puking). Then there was about 3 months of generally happy contentedness. And then, in the home stretch, I have gotten a little unpredictably cranky again. Sometimes, for example, taking apart the kitchen cabinets and scrubbing them before rearranging the food in them seems like an absolutely urgent, non-postponeable activity...and when my husband doesn't share my enthusiasm, I can be a little bit of a jerk. After the fact, I usually realize I wasn't being fair or pleasant, but that doesn't mean I always apologize.

My advice is to be very patient. I have said and done things while pregnant that I would have never, EVER imagined doing beforehand. It's a little bit like having your body possessed by some sort of demon...seriously. It sucks to feel like you have no control of what's going on inside. Just breathe deeply, try to ignore the really nasty stuff, and spend a lot of time asking if there is anything you can do to help...

It will probably get better. I was prone to random crying and irrational outbursts for the first 4 months of this pregnancy (coincidentally, the craziness got much better around week 17 when I stopped puking). Then there was about 3 months of generally happy contentedness. And then, in the home stretch, I have gotten a little unpredictably cranky again. Sometimes, for example, taking apart the kitchen cabinets and scrubbing them before rearranging the food in them seems like an absolutely urgent, non-postponeable activity...and when my husband doesn't share my enthusiasm, I can be a little bit of a jerk. After the fact, I usually realize I wasn't being fair or pleasant, but that doesn't mean I always apologize.

My advice is to be very patient. I have said and done things while pregnant that I would have never, EVER imagined doing beforehand. It's a little bit like having your body possessed by some sort of demon...seriously. It sucks to feel like you have no control of what's going on inside. Just breathe deeply, try to ignore the really nasty stuff, and spend a lot of time asking if there is anything you can do to help...

I agree with zusik's recommendation that you let her know that she is hurting you. Of course, please be tactful ("I know that you are going through a lot of changes, but when you say those things, it hurts me."). Hopefully, she will take it to heart. Now, if you do this and she responds uncaringly, then there is a real problem. As I have said many times, whereas pregnancy can cause her to act in ways that aren't so nice, she still has a responsibilty to at least try. Don't let her use the excuse "I'm pregnant so I'm allowed to be mean." No she isn't. We can forgive meanness, but, as with any forgiveness, that requires some signs of regret.

We will accept her hormone driven behavior because we recognize the problem. However, that doesn't mean she should accept it. No one should ever knowingly allow themselves to be mean, and at least be sorry about it.

I agree with zusik's recommendation that you let her know that she is hurting you. Of course, please be tactful ("I know that you are going through a lot of changes, but when you say those things, it hurts me."). Hopefully, she will take it to heart. Now, if you do this and she responds uncaringly, then there is a real problem. As I have said many times, whereas pregnancy can cause her to act in ways that aren't so nice, she still has a responsibilty to at least try. Don't let her use the excuse "I'm pregnant so I'm allowed to be mean." No she isn't. We can forgive meanness, but, as with any forgiveness, that requires some signs of regret.

We will accept her hormone driven behavior because we recognize the problem. However, that doesn't mean she should accept it. No one should ever knowingly allow themselves to be mean, and at least be sorry about it.

I think the most helpful thing you can do is ask her all the time how she is feeling. This will give her an open door to vent about feeling sick, crazy, fat, tired, etc.. Once she lets that out it might help her settle down some (until it builds up again a few hours later).

Also, women are extremely fatigued at this stage in pregnancy, and fatigue + hormones = not pleasant. Encourage her to lie down more, get extra sleep at night, take naps, etc. Usually eliminating some of the fatigue might take the edge off some of the anger.

If she's truly "angry" with you then it could be something your not doing or not doing right (keep in mind, prego women suddenly have strange ideas about what the perfect way to do things are and when they need to be done), so you might want to ask her more often how you can help or what you can improve on. And the saving grace in my marriage? When I have a craving, he goes to the store and gets what I want - immediately. Nothing makes me more irritable/crazy then craving something we dont have.

Lastly, if she is still being totally insensitive/rude/etc then try to have a sit down talk with her and tell her that your trying to be helpful and understanding but she is being unfair. Dont yell or accuse, just talk to her, you might find she just doesnt realize how unfair she is being. Good Luck!!

I think the most helpful thing you can do is ask her all the time how she is feeling. This will give her an open door to vent about feeling sick, crazy, fat, tired, etc.. Once she lets that out it might help her settle down some (until it builds up again a few hours later).

Also, women are extremely fatigued at this stage in pregnancy, and fatigue + hormones = not pleasant. Encourage her to lie down more, get extra sleep at night, take naps, etc. Usually eliminating some of the fatigue might take the edge off some of the anger.

If she's truly "angry" with you then it could be something your not doing or not doing right (keep in mind, prego women suddenly have strange ideas about what the perfect way to do things are and when they need to be done), so you might want to ask her more often how you can help or what you can improve on. And the saving grace in my marriage? When I have a craving, he goes to the store and gets what I want - immediately. Nothing makes me more irritable/crazy then craving something we dont have.

Lastly, if she is still being totally insensitive/rude/etc then try to have a sit down talk with her and tell her that your trying to be helpful and understanding but she is being unfair. Dont yell or accuse, just talk to her, you might find she just doesnt realize how unfair she is being. Good Luck!!

This is actually very common in the first trimester, but sometimes lasts throughout the whole pregnancy... hormones are messing with her emotions, and she's probably starting to feel bloated (a feeling no woman likes, since she's not obvious yet, so she thinks she just looks fat), and probably naseous, tired, forgets easily, her balance is off, and suddenly there's a new little life to think of, that even when planned can throw everything off.

Once the baby gets here, it will all be worth it! I hope everything gets better. Just be there, and ask if she needs to vent. Venting really helps! Is she a member of this site? If not, tell her about it. Venting with women that are where she is, is a huge help!

This is actually very common in the first trimester, but sometimes lasts throughout the whole pregnancy... hormones are messing with her emotions, and she's probably starting to feel bloated (a feeling no woman likes, since she's not obvious yet, so she thinks she just looks fat), and probably naseous, tired, forgets easily, her balance is off, and suddenly there's a new little life to think of, that even when planned can throw everything off.

Once the baby gets here, it will all be worth it! I hope everything gets better. Just be there, and ask if she needs to vent. Venting really helps! Is she a member of this site? If not, tell her about it. Venting with women that are where she is, is a huge help!

Hmmm, my morning (afternoon and evening) sickness kicked in around 6 weeks and lasted until about 15 weeks. It was the worst during that time for the hormone changes too. I think you can add stress about all of the tests they do nowadays too that make you worry non-stop about whether the baby is okay. After that, the pregnancy for me was smooth and no more "craziness". Hopefully that will be the case for your SO as well.

Hmmm, my morning (afternoon and evening) sickness kicked in around 6 weeks and lasted until about 15 weeks. It was the worst during that time for the hormone changes too. I think you can add stress about all of the tests they do nowadays too that make you worry non-stop about whether the baby is okay. After that, the pregnancy for me was smooth and no more "craziness". Hopefully that will be the case for your SO as well.

just be understanding and patient.. however be a jerk when she is being completly out of line so she doesnt walk on you. i was crazy for a while. 1st trimester sucks even if you are not sick... she will be okay just be easy on her.

just be understanding and patient.. however be a jerk when she is being completly out of line so she doesnt walk on you. i was crazy for a while. 1st trimester sucks even if you are not sick... she will be okay just be easy on her.

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