Monday, November 21, 2016

Of Moon Cycles and Male Allies

Aryan Uprety is an empowering activist from Nepal, working on making allies out of men and boys and doing away with the stigma around menstruation. Here is his story.

My name is Aryan Uprety.
I am a youth from the third world, seeking positive change in society. I am 24,having
been born on what is marked as International Peace Day - 21st September 1992. I
am a Social Work Graduate from the Tribhuvan
University, Nepal, with high first division.

I believe that helping others is a way to help ourselves. I
really see myself as lucky to have had such values instilled in me by my
parents. My parents taught me that helping others does not necessarily mean
only supporting others through logistics or money. But, helping a person could
be through simple acts such as listening to their problems, offering support
and advice, and walking them through their hard times.Though I am only twenty-four, I have helped
people. I will continue to do so for the rest of my life. In helping others, I
have become a better person. Offering assistance to others is the best way to
leave a good impression on someone. The helping nature was given a further boost
at my school when I was in Grade IX. I was selected as the president of Social
club of school which showed me path towards what I am born for.

Since 2009, I have been working in the field of social welfare
through various organizations. It started with conducting blood donation
programs in three different colleges which later encouraged me and my friends
to establish a youth organization. Then later I was called
to join a youth organization called “Club
25 Nepal.”This was the organization of like-minded youths like
me, with the motto of voluntary blood donations and managing blood in
emergency situations. I started as a member and have now been assigned as the
President (2015 – 2017). Helping people to arrange for blood in emergency time
is prime focus of this organization.

Apart from that, I organized a “Flag Day celebration program” in
2010 through a youth group named “Nepal Unites.”I have also participated in
various youth-led programs conducted by various social organizations. I am also
involved in an organization named “Force Nepal” where we work for differently
able children and for conservation of environment. For differently able, we
have been helping a school (Supa Inclusive School) in far west Nepal
(Attariya,Kailali). For conservation of environment, we distributed 20,000
plants to children as a part of conservation of environment by conducting a
project named “One Tree- My Responsibility”. In Force
Nepal, I have been working as an executive board and director for youth
empowerment. Apart from it, I was involved in training sessions for youth about
environmental hazards and conservation which stood as a boon to make me country
coordinator for Nepal of a voluntary group named “Citizens Climate Lobby”,
Coronado, California, USA.

The most important part of my life was in 2014 when I along with
few friends decided to form an NGO named OLIVE Nepal (Organization for
Leadership Initiative and Vivid Empowerment) where I have been working as a
Founder President. The main motive was to empower youth to empower nation.
After establishment of organization, we happened to face a tragic situation in
Nepal by earthquake where OLIVE Nepal played its role and
worked from its part to help the needy people. Recently we started a project
named “SAATHI- Period her Glory”.

“SAATHI- Period Her Glory" is the concept of
breaking the barrier and taking a step to aware and educate young kids from
school. It is a concept which is trying to break the unbound barriers created
by taboos, myth and beliefs of our society. This concept tends to create positive
environment in teenagers on sharing about menstruation and sexual health.

Menstrual Hygiene
Management start from school level as kids happen to have their first
menstruation from early age of 10 to 16 in Nepal. We intent to provide care to
girls through their own initiative with the help of our campaign namingSAATHI:
Period! Her Glory.At the same time, it is important for youths to be
familiar with menstruation cycle and its interring connectivity with
procreation. This will enhance their comfort in understanding the sensitivity
of menstrual health and will encourage them to adopt proper MHM(Menstrual
Hygiene Management) methods.

I know I don’t bleed every month and have a penis.But,I have
seen the pain in women when they bleed. I am a human and if I don’t feel the
pain in what I see, then, I am not a so-called civilized human. I have a story
that I share with everyone who asks me. It is a real happening that I
encountered in my childhood.

This story begins with a girl who had her first menstruation at
school, like the other girls.She was my best friend. We were kids,and in Grade
6 and quite young, too young to have a proper knowledge about menstruation. We
had a system of wearing white clothes on sports day, which was a Friday.It was
a bad day for my friend, who had a red spot on her skirt and it was quite
noticeable. She came to know about it when a friend spotted it. She was sent to
the principal’s room. The principal’s room was near our classroom, so I looked
through the door to see what was happening. Soon, I saw her mother coming to
take her home. Later, I came to know that she had had her first period.

She was absent for six days.Due to beliefs and myths in our
society, they kept her away. I was all alone, as I did not have my best friend
to chat with. She later joined the class and we continued. I was too young at
that time to do anything. Time flew and memory, as well. Back in October 2015,
I happened to visit a brother of mine who was coordinator of a reputed school.
When I was chatting with him, a girl student came to him and asked to go to the
sick room. She was a bit shy and nervous. She looked like a she was from Grade 10.
She said that she had a “girl’s problem” when my brother asked what the problem
was.When she said so,my brother said, “Gogo!” in a hushed tone. She was
menstruating and it was not the first time, as I could see from her face that
she was aware of what she had to do, but was nervous about expressing it. It
was a normal thing and she will bleed till she is around 40. I then recalled
the time when I was in Grade 6where my best friend gone through something worse.
I realized that a girl cannot express herself natural and a man who knows about
it does not respect it.

I returned to my organization. I started talking to my interns
about menstruation.They were girls. They were shy, too, but when I described
and talked about it in a positive way, I came to find that one of my interns
had faced a similar situation. I decided
to start taking action. If a girl would startit, men tend to think of it as a
woman’s stuff and ignore it.But when a male starts to talk about it and chooses
to be sensitive to women’s issues,it will make them sit up and take notice. I
decided to take charge of the project “SAATHI- Period her Glory” than started
searching help from people and organization in various levels. A few people
assured to support us, while many refused. But in the end, there were no funds.
I had already decided to start this project come what may, so I started from my
own pocket and with some help from the members of the organization. We started
our project, intending to educate at least 100 schools, i.e., targeting a minimum
of 20,000 children in the first year, and make at least 10,000 SAATHI (Friends)
Group of Girls who help others.

This is how I started and don’t know how long I can go but I
will do my best to make a society where young kids can openly say that they
bleed and bleed every month. I want to create a society where a girl will say I
am having menstruation to her teacher rather than quoting it as girl’s problem.
I want to create a society where a girl doesn’t have to leave her school just
because she bleeds for first time. I want to make a society where each young
bid would help rather than mocking and teasing. This is who I am and this is
what I am. I am Aryan and a learner, and want to be trend setter and a change
maker.

We belong to an eastern society where we are guided by culture,
religion and other social factors which bind us with ethics and moral values.These
things make it difficult for us to do anything against the rules laid down by society.
Though we live in the capital city with almost all basic needs, we lack
confidence. People here are literate and belong to various social groups that are
aware of what is good and what is bad, but still fear acting against some
rules. People are afraid to break barriers. Though people are considered modern,
ultimately, when it comes to things like acting against belief and tradition
which are being practiced, not many are modern.

It is seen from the past that whenever someone is working for
change, they face problems.If we can tackle those problems, we can be sure that
we can bring in change.There were some issues from teachers in schools about cultural
aspects and we sorted them out with counseling and giving examples around the
world.

We worked with kids who were of 10 to 16 in age. The most
obvious problem we faced was their shyness. In our society,older kids feel shy to
share about their sexual health.There is an obvious consequence in that the
younger kids were shy. We started with a few sharing sessions with our
volunteers on their first menstruation, which made them feel free about talking
about these topics.Later, we also had an interactive quiz and games,which made
the kids more open-minded.

We educate both, boys and girls on menstruation and menstrual
hygiene management. Boys too need it, as they will be men, and someday a husband,
and a father. They should know what menstruation is and how they should react to
it.

When we started working for change, than emotion drives us to do
so for the change. We work for positive change in the society. While doing all
this we forget our surface and started working on our own. When we started this
work from our organization “OLIVE Nepal” we had nothing than few active
fulltime volunteers. We collected fund from our pocket and asked for few
doctors to help us with the research on medical aspect. We than did brief
research and started the work.

The ultimate challenge we are facing at the moment is source of funding.
Although we don’t have source we are working and our team has decided that we
will work till the time we can afford from our pocket and in the meantime look
for someone who like our work and help us in our work.

If we are working for change and on things which society does
not digest so easily, we are sure to face trouble. I believe that if we don’t
face trouble than we can’t say we are working for change.