Top Six… Batman Movies so far

After what seems like 329 years of waiting, The Dark Knight Rises is finally upon us. But where will Christopher Nolan’s Bat threequel fit in this little list when it is released next week? Will Ross McG think it’s better than Batman Forever?

6. Batman & Robin (1997)

Batman: George Clooney. Yep, the guy from ER. What idiot thought he was gonna be a movie star?

Villain: Mr Fwwweeeeze. Poison Ivy. Bane. Yes, Bane. Why do people think The Dark Knight Rises is going to be good again?

Best Bat line: ‘Ice to see you!’ ‘Allow me to break the ice.’ ‘You’re not sending me to the cooler!’ Take your (ice) pick

Bat fact: After Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone was the second choice to play Mr Freeze. Hulk Hogan was third. Jesus.

Bat song: The Batman & Robin soundtrack is actually pretty sweet – it has The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning by Smashing Pumpkins, Revolution by REM and, uh, Gotham City by R Kelly. Oh, piss off, R Kelly

Bat verdict: Bat out of hell. Not gone when the morning comes, unluckily. Scorched into your brain forever, more like