Heart broken all over again….

I just got the call I wanted more than anything…the call that I waited months for. I got a call to interview for a New Graduate position, on the observation unit at the very hospital that I work for. It was one of my top 3 positions I wanted more than anything. I guess with everything that happened I forgot to withdraw my applications. I am glad that I missed the call, but simply heartbroken after hearing the message. Now, I may not have been the first pick, I probably was one of the last. To me that does not matter, what matters is they wanted to at least give me a chance. I now have to find the strength, courage, to call them back and tell them “I’m sorry, I did not graduate from the top nursing school in MD. I failed by 5 points. Good Luck in your search…thank you for considering me.”

I can feel the dark cloud over my head, the cold rattling sound, the same feeling one gets when 100 dementors are looming overhead. The feeling that all the happiness in the world has been taken from you. The pain from the knife that has been cut so deep that the wound may never heal. I am looking for the silver lining. I am looking for the positive spark of light, I am looking for my patronus to clear the path. I just don’t see it nor do I think I can make the spell work properly.

If I could give any advice to students, future students, and their families. I would say this find a way to financially support the student so he/she does not need to work during school. I know that it is possible, I am not saying that it is not possible. I am saying that to simply be able to focus all your time and attention on your studies and school will make the biggest difference.