While rock fans have been dreaming of a Spinal Tap reunion for years, an important enough reason for the band to get back together has remained elusive. What possible cause could be big enough to bring back the band who have seen it all, played it all and, later, scooped it all into a box so they could take it on their tour bus with them?

The answer has become clear today as Max Clifford, the Brit' PR Guru, spearheading HMMs ex leg to global super-stardom, contacted Spinal Tap with an offer they couldn't refuse. At first they couldn't understand it. After it was repeated to them slightly louder and slower, the band mates all shook their thinning manes in unison and slurred "LET'S ROCK"

Heather Mills McCartney's globe hopping appendage will be playing the bass drum for Spinal Tap, after having had great success on Dancing with Stars and a brief stint helping Def Leppards Drummer

Tony Blair, upon hearing the news, insisted that he also would be in the line up!

Funny British Fat bloke, Ricky Gervais was offered a place in the super band, but turned it down due to that fact he was. "Far too important these days to appear in anything less than A-list activities, like the forthcoming United Nations Suicide Pact in Aid of Paris Hilton not going to jail" Although he can not take part personally due to contractual obligations, he will be sending his, six foot eleven, bean pole writing partner, Craig …er .. Stephen Merchant-Ivory Wayans.

Knut, the young adult polar bear, who has been seen sporting dread locked fur of late, having reached the tail end of his angry young bear phase and who has now mellowed into a Bob Dylan-esque type character, will be joining Spinal Tap for a couple of numbers playing the sitar, which he learned to play during a recent stay in prison for animal rights activism.

Another surprise, last minute addition to the Live Earth Gig will be a new, all girl, three piece band called The Adopters, comprising of Madonna on vocals, Sheryl Crow on Guitar and Angeline Jolie on Drums.

Nice.

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