Martlets Helped Us Marry

Donna Grout

When John Ling became a patient of Martlets in January 2016, the last thing he and his partner Richi Blennerhassett were thinking about was getting married. Richi takes up the story:

“John’s cancer had been getting steadily worse and he took the decision to go into Martlets; quite simply he didn’t want me or his daughter to have to deal with his passing at home.

It felt strange. Not just for it marking the beginning of the end but for so long I’d looked after John’s day to day needs and now someone else was going to be cooking his meals.

What I didn’t realise that this would give me the chance to just be with John. I could appreciate every moment with him.

John told me that the hospice chaplain had mentioned that we could get married if we wanted. I said ‘That would be great’ knowing this was us making plans that may not happen.

The next day John greeted me with the news that we could get married two days later, on the Friday. We told John’s daughter, Amy, and got as many friends and family together as was possible at such short notice.

The chaplain and our social worker guided me through the process and made appointments for me at the registry office. Thursday was spent getting legal paperwork together, visiting the registrar, ordering buttonholes and finding wedding rings.

Friday came and I spent the morning with John getting ready. Holding his hand and keeping him calm, not showing my own nerves and cherishing every moment with this wonderful man.

The staff lined the halls as we moved into the Sanctuary where the service would take place. A choir leader sang Fields of Gold by Ava Cassidy. I can’t actually remember the words but I remember crying and feeling so proud to call this man my husband.

That night, the hospice staff moved an extra bed into John’s room so that we could spend our wedding night lying together. I’d really missed lying next to him so this was extra special. It was just one of those little things that Martlets did.

I feel so thankful that Martlets exists. Not just for those whose lives are ending, or those that need some respite, but for those left behind. Husbands, wives, partners, sons, daughters, and caregivers who get to spend those last precious moments just holding the people we love.

1.The Martlets is committed to protecting your privacy and maintaining the security of any personal information received from you. We strictly adhere to the requirements of the data protection legislation in the UK. (Data Protection Act 1998)
The purpose of this statement is to explain to you what personal information we collect via our website and how we may use it.
2.When you submit an enquiry or place an order we need to know your details. This allows us to process and fulfil your enquiry and/or order. We do not collect any personal information that is not required for the order or enquiry process.
3.We may use your personal information for the purpose of directly communicating with you.
4.We do not sell, rent or exchange your personal information with any third party for commercial reasons, beyond the essential requirement for credit/debit card validation during purchase.
5.We follow procedures in the storage and disclosure of information which you have given us to prevent unauthorised access in accordance with the UK data protection legislation (Data Protection Act 1998). Information is only used for the purpose for which it is given.
We do not collect sensitive information about you except when you specifically knowingly provide it. In order to maintain the accuracy of our database, you can ask for the information we hold about you although we will request proof of identity.
We use a technology called "cookies" as part of a normal business procedure to track patterns of behaviour of visitors to our site. A cookie is an element of data that our Website sends to your browser which is then stored on your system. You can set your browser to prevent this happening. Any information collected in this way can be used to identify you unless you change your browser settings. We use the cookies to establish what pages of our website are the most popular and the type of information that visitors to the site are seeking.
6.In order to process credit/debit card transactions, the bank or card processing agency may require verification of your personal details for authorisation outside the EEA (European Economic Area). We will only send your information to a country or territory outside the European Economic Area with your permission if that country or territory ensures an adequate level of protection for the rights and freedoms of individuals in relation to processing personal data.
7.If you have any questions about privacy please contact us at:-
Martlets Hospice
Wayfield Avenue
Hove
BN3 7LW
Tel: 01273 273400
The Martlets Hospice Limited is a charity registered under number 802145 and a company limited by guarantee under number 2326410.
Martlets Hospice Trading Company Limited is a company limited by guarantee under number 4557282.
Martlets Care Limited is a company limited by guarantee under number 6250709.
Group VAT registration number 218597181.

1.The Martlets is committed to protecting your privacy and maintaining the security of any personal information received from you. We strictly adhere to the requirements of the data protection legislation in the UK. (Data Protection Act 1998)

The purpose of this statement is to explain to you what personal information we collect via our website and how we may use it.

2.When you submit an enquiry or place an order we need to know your details. This allows us to process and fulfil your enquiry and/or order. We do not collect any personal information that is not required for the order or enquiry process.

3.We may use your personal information for the purpose of directly communicating with you.

4.We do not sell, rent or exchange your personal information with any third party for commercial reasons, beyond the essential requirement for credit/debit card validation during purchase.

5.We follow procedures in the storage and disclosure of information which you have given us to prevent unauthorised access in accordance with the UK data protection legislation (Data Protection Act 1998). Information is only used for the purpose for which it is given.

We do not collect sensitive information about you except when you specifically knowingly provide it. In order to maintain the accuracy of our database, you can ask for the information we hold about you although we will request proof of identity.

We use a technology called "cookies" as part of a normal business procedure to track patterns of behaviour of visitors to our site. A cookie is an element of data that our Website sends to your browser which is then stored on your system. You can set your browser to prevent this happening. Any information collected in this way can be used to identify you unless you change your browser settings. We use the cookies to establish what pages of our website are the most popular and the type of information that visitors to the site are seeking.

6.In order to process credit/debit card transactions, the bank or card processing agency may require verification of your personal details for authorisation outside the EEA (European Economic Area). We will only send your information to a country or territory outside the European Economic Area with your permission if that country or territory ensures an adequate level of protection for the rights and freedoms of individuals in relation to processing personal data.

7.If you have any questions about privacy please contact us at:-

Martlets HospiceWayfield AvenueHoveBN3 7LWTel: 01273 273400

The Martlets Hospice Limited is a charity registered under number 802145 and a company limited by guarantee under number 2326410.

Martlets Hospice Trading Company Limited is a company limited by guarantee under number 4557282.

Martlets Care Limited is a company limited by guarantee under number 6250709.

Group VAT registration number 218597181.

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To us, your time is priceless. Whether you can volunteer for a few hours once in a while or a regular weekly shift, as part of #TeamMartlets you’ll play a crucial part in keeping your local hospice going.