The archives of the articles, reviews, interviews and other ramblings written by Sarah E. Jahier (aka Fatally Yours).

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jean Claude The Gumming Zombie (2009)

If you’re a zombie fan, you’ve no doubt asked yourself how a zombie
could survive if he or she had no teeth. How would they be able to rip
apart their prey without some sharp canines? How would they be able to
chomp down on some delectable brains without teeth? Well, the short
low-budget film Jean Claude The Gumming Zombie seeks to find out how a poor, toothless zombie could survive the apocalypse. It’s too bad it does so in such a dull way.

Jean Claude is a French zombie that can’t eat flesh because he
doesn’t have teeth. He does around gumming people because he can’t bite.
A ’50′s, Leave-It-To-Beaver type freaky
family feels sorry for Jean Claude and take him into their home as a
pet. Soon, Dad is collecting fresh body parts for him, Mom is making him
“nummy” human blood shakes and young Timmy is taking him to show and
tell.

I really thought this would be a fun, kitschy zombie short along the lines of the great Fido.
Unfortunately, it has an inconsistent storyline with no clear plot,
which makes watching this film more annoying than entertaining. The
story never has a place to go, instead jumping from one tedious tableau
to another. None of the gags were ever very funny, and had me rolling my
eyes or checking my watch rather than inciting a giggle or even a
smile. This is obviously supposed to be a horror comedy but the “jokes”
were tiresome and have already been done in other movies much better.

While lack of a cohesive, interesting story is a major issue, there
were many other problems with the film. One of the most glaring besides
the lack of story was the use of “green screen” throughout the movie.
The main actors’ performances were captured first in front of a “green
screen” and then the background of these scenes (mostly city streets and
shuffling zombies) was added in later. Ugh, this looked absolutely
horrible and distracted a lot from the film (not that there was much
going on to be distracted from). I don’t know if this was done due to
budgetary constraints or maybe because of aesthetic/artistic preference
(if that is the case, someone needs their eyes checked!), but using an
actual location where all the actors, both zombie and human, were shot
at the same time would have certainly benefited the film much more than
the grainy and fuzzy background. Also baffling was the use of CGI for a
quick scene where a grandmother is cooking some breakfast. They actually
chose to use CGI for the fire on the stove and the smoke coming off the
pan. Again, this looked horrible and I don’t have a clue why the
filmmakers chose to do this for such a trivial scene when they could
have just simply filming the actual flame and smoke. And WTF was up with
that fart cloud at the end of the film when the dad was performing
black magic (one of his screwed up spells is cause of the zombies,
apparently)?? Seriously, I did not get what the hell that cloud CGI was
supposed to be…

The only positives in this short film were the performances from some
of the actors. Kyle Znamenak was amazing as Jean Claude, both as the
zombie and as his pre-zombie persona. As a zombie, he was perfect as the
sad, shuffling and meloncholy Jean Claude. As his former self he was
completely different – young, virile and sexy! Another standout
performance came from one of the youngest actors in the film, Matthew
Hemminger as Timmy. He was extremely natural on-screen, charming us even
when he is repeatedly stabbing Jean Claude in the leg for
entertainment. I was less enthused about the over-the-top acting from
Joseph O’Brien and Patricia Valestin as the parents, but I think the
script might be to blame for their overzealous performances.

As far as indie zombie flicks go, this film was hard to sit through and you can do much better. Jean Claude The Gumming Zombie
just lacks cohesion and a solid storyline to make it any good. Add to
that the horrible effects and lame gags and it becomes a chore to sit
through, even when it is a short. I hate to bash independent filmmakers
because I know all the hard work that goes into making a film on a
shoestring budget, but Jean Claude The Gumming Zombie is just a bad, unfunny version of Fido.