Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Women Without Borders...

When I wrote this column for The Week, the Liz Hurley scandal had not broken.... ironic. 'Women Without Borders' is open to several interpretations. Liz is one such borderless woman. But in an entirely different context. Didn't think I'd ever end up feeling sorry for Mr. Bandhgala ( her ex- , Arun Nayar), but for once I think the Brit tabloids are being extra nasty and definitely racist when they describe Arun as 'fatally unglamourous." Cruel. And inaccurate. The reason why this trashy but fatally sexy woman married Arun was for his glamour ( can't be the money - she has much more). At the height of their romance, Brit tabloids went to town about Arun's devastating good looks and style. Today, the poor guy resembles a whipped puppy as he whines about his wife's adultery. The last time I met them was a few months ago at the Maharaja of Jodhpur's charity dinner. We were seated at the host's table , and Liz was busy flashing her eyes (and very impressive cleavage) at every passing bloke. It was obvious Mr. Bandhgala's days were numbered. Well.... I do hope he takes Liz to the cleaners. According to reports, she's worth 60 million pounds.He should push for 30.And she can keep the pigs...The empire must strike back!*****************

Edit Schlaffer means business! It was easy to tell as much when she strode into my home late one afternoon. Her stride and voice indicated she was someone who was determinedly focused on issues that concern her deeply – her organization - SAVE (Sisters Against Violent Extremism) - reflects that unflinching commitment. Accompanying the Austrian lady was a beautiful assistant called Elaine. Both were unambiguously “ Ladies With a Mission” . After an hour long chat, I got a better understanding of their extraordinary mission. Often, it is personal tragedy that ignites such fervour. While, I didn’t probe, I did pick up on Edit’s own loss ( her son) , which may have motivated her to set up SAVE. She talked about empowering and inspiring women to stand up against violent extremism. She mentioned how society could transform itself if women were consulted on policy. She asked me several difficult and perplexing questions that demanded a great deal of introspection (“ What solutions can women offer to combat terrorism?”). As we chatted – easily and naturally – I began to understand her concerns better . Edit travels around the world meeting women who have suffered at the hands of violent men representing special interest groups of all hues, religious and political. The stories of those battered women are what she wants to highlight and eventually find peaceful resolutions to. She points out, “ Violent extremism is not a distant, abstract threat. Acts of terrorism could happen at your grocery store, your bus, your plane….” Scarey! But it is important to move beyond victimhood, her brochure states. “ For too long, in too many places, the potential of women to make meaningful change has been ignored and overlooked – this is a grave mistake.” Hear! Hear! She also stresses on reconciliation and dialogue, pointing out that “without the knowledge of the other, how will we ever live together?” She believes that without genuine contact and communication, the process of healing and moving forward remains incomplete.The response mechanisms she recommends involve alternatives that reach out to young men and women who feel frustrated, confused and isolated in societies without adequate support systems. She talked about providing women with the required tools for critical debate to challenge extremist ideologies. As she points out, women are at the heart of the family. They are the first to recognize signs of anger in their children.Change starts in the home…. change starts with women. As she continued talking passionately about her work, I was moved to note her level of intensity as she described meeting the mother of the sole terrorist in custody after the 9\11 attacks in New York. At a conference in Vienna earlier this year, 15 courageous women from Yemen, Pakistan, India, Israel, Palestine, Northern Ireland, came together to share their experiences and work towards a safer future. The thinking behind Edit’s remarkable initiative is pretty simple : “ Women can transform society by sensitizing and mobilizing their own children susceptible to or already trapped by ideologies of violent extremism.” She has successfully launched ‘Mothers for Change’, a world wide campaign to involve women who can ensure safety and security in their immediate surroundings…. and act as an early warning system.Representing India is Vinita Kamte, the outspoken, fearless widow of the legendary Police Commissioner Ashok Kamte, who was killed during the Mumbai Terrorist Attacks on 26\11. From Hatred to Hope, is the apt heading for this segment that chronicles the efforts of women like Vinita, lone voices in a hostile environment, struggling to be heard. Despite the odds, these extraordinary women are managing to push for reform and change, no matter how daunting the task. There are several other ‘Vinitas’ across the world, most of them linked by a single common factor – the loss of a loved one at the hands of senseless terrorists. Tragedy is the ultimate leveler. But Edit’s tireless efforts are about the triumph of the human spirit … she wants to change the world, and fervently believes that her organization - ‘Women Without Borders’ - will emerge as the most effective agent of that change.How right she is!

hehe DO I SEE RITA DHODY AND ARUN'S EX HAVING COCKTAILS AND LAUGHING AWAY.. they are best friends of course.both of their husbands left them for other women.. who ended up leaving them embarassed.. lol KARMA IS A BITCH.. THIS OUTTA TEACH ALL MEN WHO CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES

I think more often than not we women tend to underestimate ourselves (I am generalizing here of course). Only when it comes to a point where its a do or die situation or a situation where we have lost our very near ones, the courage does not surface.

Its true that the heart of the home is a woman. Unfortunately, even today at home we women face problems. We fail our driving tests, we get yelled at; Accidentally a bra-starp shows-up and there is a huge issue from mother in law ensues, laundry is not done, we get yelled at...where do we have the energy left to find solutions for terrorism Ms De?

Like I said, unless something extreme happens, we dont find voice in ourselves. Shameful...but its the truth.

Arun nayar and liz wedding was like big blockbuster of bollywood but flopped miserably. I liked your idea of taking liz to cleaners.(Arun must take your advice seriously and teach liz a lesson) I am all for Woman power , my best wishes for "save" and the the smart, sensitive and gutsy lady Edit Schlaffer( it takes a lot to start organisation of this nature). Ma De keep us informed about SAVE it seems genuine intiative to help and transform society through women.

I read ur blog, its nice and filled with reality, and m new tothis as i have started a blog to discourage suicides and I uh... ma'm would like you to visit it and please give me some tips , ma email is gauravmahajan91@gmail.com and ma blog is punkless humans , every1's is worth sumthing

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