Strangers sometimes have guns... and sometimes have candy. Really cool or really scary. I mean, who the fuck knows what's in that candy?! And it's candy. So you have to eat it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

The Notebook... of hatred

Dear Roomie,

Remember how I took today off so that we could go down to the leasing office to sign the paperwork saying that you no longer live here? Yeah. Thanks for bailing on me. And that lie about how you had to go to work? Thanks for crediting me with the intelligence of a gnat. You? Work ethics? What the fuck ever. Your lucky I didn't smash your face in the wall. Believe me when I say that I've already done the math. If you go missing the only suspect is me... which is why you're still alive. By the way, that was a nice touch pointing out that you want your deposit back when you haven't even paid THE FUCKING RENT... and it was even better when you asked for half of the PG & E bill... that you never paid! Oh and by the way, when I said that you were the most awful person that I had ever met, what I really meant to say is that you are the biggest whore I've ever met and I can still smell the football team that gang banged you last week.

Signed,

Me.

PS

Don't get into any arguments with me near any knives any time soon... we're not that far from the border.