There is a storm rising on
By: craig T. Nelson
the interweb. Well, not
really rising, more like it is unknown because we
gaining in vitality and didn't want to do the
horror. This storm, for research, has a boisterous
those who are unaware, is demeanor and horrible
s xe p h i l ,
a
v i d e o
stage presence (although
bloggernaut who has been he is very well dressed).
on the wonders of
He is loud, obscene in
YouTube for a little over some instances, and quite
two years now. This suave possibly
homosexual
and
(though he has publicly
smarmy
young
gentleman takes whatever denied this so we believe
bits of news and worldly him...). Quite honestly, he
minutia he deems worthy is just a dude doing his
thing (watching him do
and
pieces
together
commentaries for his avid "that" costs extra though).
fan base. He's basically the One thing I have noticed in
east coast equivalent of watching his video rants is
your beloved Ramdiculous that he reminds me a lot,
Page, although slightly less because of his voice,
cool cause he's from New mannerisms, and speech
York. Sxephil, real name pattern, of the guys who

Picture of the week
They’ll take you
too...

Angelo State’s Finest Paper Since Fall 2006

page

SXEPhil

Continued on page 3

Quote of I’ve got an electric field
the Week passing through my area.
Knowing Knature

By: D’ino I’talles

I had just finished watching a movie Our ideas about the future are is boring. It is also wrong.” Quantum same outcome, but a few will deviate
with a friend of mine when I changed deeply rooted in physics. Classical shows us that the only predictable from the norm. Science still works, so
physics worked for centuries and it’s part of the world is the most likely I will breathe a sigh of relief.
the channel to find The Matrix
event. The statistical nature of the
Reloaded was already in progress. easy enough that it dominates our
Although I was pleased by this find, philosophical understanding of world provides “choice” to the most Most characters in the Matrix
she groaned at the sight of it and nature. If I push on an object, it will fundamental building blocks of the thought with the tired deterministic
began to complain. “Change the move in a predictable path. Under universe. The Heisenberg Uncertainty dogma of a computer. No one quite
channel. I can’t watch this. It makes identical circumstances, the exact Principle is really saying that we can’t knew what to make of Neo because
no sense.” I hear this quite often and same outcome will always result. have all the information about a he was the result of an anomaly,
which shouldn’t be possible within
I still feel like I have to defend this Every effect has a cause, and one system, so we can’t know the
movie. This is a movie that disguises cause always leads to the same outcome with 100% certainty.
the programming of a computer. But
several philosophical studies behind effect. This is known as causality or Classical physics still works because he made his own fate and defied
bullets, trench coats, and fights. Even determinism. But this becomes a we hardly ever notice quantum reason with his notion of choice.
more appealing to me is that the problem when you consider that the effects on the scale that we live in.
premise of the movie follows the present and future are set and
debate between the classical and determined by the past. This suggests Although we can’t predict what a And because many people cite
quantum understandings of our that the future is already written and single atom can do, we can predict determinism as a conflict between
we have no free will. So why are you what a large number of atoms will do
world.
religion and science, I will pose two
here? As the Merovingian noted, with great confidence. This is rooted
questions to you. If everything is
in the idea of entropy introduced by
The prime example is Neo’s refusal to “choice is an illusion.”
thermodynamics. Everyone describes already decided and we’re just here
accept fate. The Oracle tells him that
he is only doing what he is destined But before you get depressed on me, it as “disorder” and “disorder always to understand it, what is God doing?
to. Smith talks about inevitability and I will provide you with a quote from increases,” but it just means that the And if you believe that you have
Morpheus talks about prophesy. The my
quantum
physics
book. system tends to simplify itself to a morals and ethics, how different are
Merovingian tells Neo that he has no “Determinism is a dehumanizing more uniform and predictable state, you from everyone else?
choices and is bound by causality. philosophy. It describes a universe or what we would call “ideal” when
that is infinitely predictable, holding we should say “easier to study.” Just
And the Architect, perhaps the least
understood character, describes Neo few surprises. All can be known; as people with a choice, most
nothing is unexpected. Determinism particles tend to conform to the
as a “systemic anomaly.”

2

Darwin Awards
January 28, 2001 Note from Darwin: The
man may have thought
Japan
A man attempting to
commit suicide brought a
tank of propane into his
apartment, opened its
stopcock, and waited to
die. Instead he merely
lost consciousness. Four
hours later he revived
and, forgetting the suicide
attempt, lit a cigarette.
The explosion blew out an
apartment wall, and
burned the face of the
suicidal smoker.

We are your voice, the voice of the Students of Angelo
State. Be heard, we would like to know what you love
about ASU, what you hate about ASU and what you think
needs to be changed around here. We are here for YOU!
If you have a comment, complaint, concern, or question,
don’t hesitate to contact us. Via email sga@angelo.edu,
via phone (325) 942‐2063, via our suggestion box in the
UC, in our office UC 133 or even come attend our meetings
at 6 PM on Monday nights.

the
tank
contained
carbon monoxide (CO)
despite the label. Even if
it contained CO, however,
the suicide attempt would
fail unless he had shut
himself into a small space
with
the
t a n k .
Apartments
a r e
ventilated and the carbon
monoxide would dissipate
fairly rapidly. Outside air
exchange also explains
why the explosion was
not more severe.

o p e r a t e
askaninja.com.
I
Continued from cover
would
speculate
that he is that guy also, but that would
be giving undue credit. We here at the
R a m d i c u l o u s Pa ge , a n d o n
ramdiculous.com, salute this young guy
for his humor, rantabilities, and snappy
sweater vests. Check him out on the
interweb, you shan’t be disappointed.
‐‐Craig T Nelson, internet junkie

3

Awkwardness...
When you are walking down the
hall in Texan and someone lets
out a massive bowel movement.

WTF!?!?!?!?!
By:Krazy Kendra

now an
interactive
media
experience

ramdiculous.com/store

ADVERTISE WITH US.

If you would like your ad to appear in the
Hey friends, it’s me again, yours should be a college kid discount
Ramdiculous Page, please contact us at ads@ramdiculous.com
truly, Krazy Kendra. Hope every‐ for college kids who don’t have
one had a good Easter break. My any money like me. What if they
Advertising Guidelines
WTF moment belongs to the made food stamp‐like coupons
airport today. I was searching for airplanes and all the other 1. Deadline for ads to be submitted is 1:00pm the Tuesday
before publication.
flights online and I came across fun stuff in the world. That
something really stupid. A flight would be so awesome!!!! 2. Ads will be received only if they are complete. Ramdiculous
Page will not create any ads.
from DFW to here at 4:30pm was Besides, planes can have crazy
nearly 600 dollars. All the other people on them too. When I got 3. Ad size will not exceed one‐quarter of a page.
flights were only $130. I don’t to the gate I could recognize 4. Organizations/events may have more than one ad, but no
know why it’s like that but I people going to San Angelo from
organization/event will be allowed more than one‐quarter
probably don’t care either. everyone else in the entire
of a page in ad space.
That’s whole encounter was airport. Airplanes should really
downright ramdiculous. No one consider college discounts, for Ramdiculous Page will not advertise for any off‐campus event
is seriously going to pay that real.
except in certain circumstances,* or anything of questionable
much to fly here. I swear that
nature. This includes but is not limited to:
some airlines are just freaking
• alcohol
crazy. I had things to do that day
• drugs
but I’m not going to sit here and
• tobacco
pay nearly 600 dollars for an
• illegal activities
hour flight. Have these people
*Exceptions to this rule will be determined the staff of
lost their ever lovin’ minds? This
Ramdiculous Page
is exactly why I don’t fly
anywhere anymore. Crazy airline
companies want to charge crazy
prices at some crazy rates. There

4

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5

Pragmatic Patsy

Top Ten

Pragmatic Patsy, despite the understand on your own. I would
slough of letters received from also like to publicize the fact that
ASU students over spring break, the MFT is now factored into
would like to discuss other issues. some student’s course grades.
As a senior graduating this spring, This is so that students will have
I would like to let you know that an incentive to study and perform
here at ASU, you have been well on this exam. This exam will
lacking a key ingredient in a prove useless to most students
college experience. Something but serves as a key performance
you always expected you would indicator for the department to
get out of your years at such a use to get more funding.
fine institute of higher learning as Teachers are now more con‐
this—and something that would cerned with the advancement of
benefit you throughout the rest their own department than the
of your life—whether it bears quality of their students’
directly on your occupation or education. Bickering and rivalries
not. That key item, ladies and between departments produce
gentlemen, is an education. Per‐ not more productivity and better
haps everything else you imag‐ quality, but ineffectiveness and
ined—rampant promiscuity, keg preoccupation. Running ASU as if
parties, drunken shenanigans, it is a business or company, rather
and intramural softball are pre‐ than an institute of higher
sent. But I am telling you that you learning, will prove to be
are paying good money to NOT ineffective in the long run. A
receive an education. And not reputation for academic
only are you paying good money, excellence, or at least a better
your parents and perhaps other one than it has now, is being
family members, not to mention replaced with fancy televisions,
the taxpayers in the state of benches, awnings, a 99%
Texas are subsidizing a system in acceptance rate, new dorms and
which students do not learn a buildings, and entrance signs with
damn thing. Case in point (not to five figure price tags. The costs of
be confused with point in case… this new policy have already
which means nothing…):
manifested: the faculty who are
committed to quality education
A required class for all business are moving on, and the value of
majors, one that I will not name, an ASU degree is declining. You
requires that students pay get to look forward to being less
*extra* because it is an competitive in the marketplace
“independent study” course. In because of consumerism applied
other words, we pay extra to to education. These policies are
teach ourselves in a subject area damaging to students and the
lack of foresight on the part of the
that does not lend itself to
independent study. Questions are administration will prove to
“welcome,” but as so many of us eventually decrease enrollment
find out, when we do go ask an and work against all the lofty
instructor a question, that instruc‐ goals of this administration.
tor does nothing but make us feel
like morons. The class grade is E‐mail advice questions and other
c o m m e n t s
t o
based on group projects,
individual homework assignments pragmatic.patsy@gmail.com.
and tests—all related to material Tenderly,
that you are expected to read and Pragmatic Patsy

Hello ASU Campus. It is I, as the first one left off, with
your
beloved
Movie
Chev Chelios lying on the
Reviewer Guy. This week I street in LA after falling out
bring to you an action film of a helicopter. Chelios has
that I am glad a
his heart, and I do
sequel was made
mean his actual
for. I the story of
heart and not a
the
first
was
metaphor for love,
amazing and I was
stolen from him by
totally
looking
a gang. As Chelios
forward to seeing
runs around LA
the new when I first
searching for his
heard about last
organ,
he
is
November. Also,
constantly having
Jason Statham is
to keep charged
very good actor. Now, let us his artifical heart so his body
adjust this review to max, it will keep on living. Building
is time for Crank: High
get blown up and people are
Voltage.
killed. Typical action film
but hey it is worth seeing. I
The sequel to the first action give it 5 bangs on a gong.
packed movie is not a let See you next week! DUESES!
down in anyway. The
^_^
second one picks up as soon
P

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