Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #23

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The Organized Single Dad eBook

What to Do for Your Kids

Concentrate on the Basics

You just cannot go wrong with your kids if you concentrate on giving them the basics like:

1) A good home. This does not have to be a large house. It just has to be some type of a place that they can call home. A place where they can sleep, eat, bring their friends over, do their homework and relax. This can be any type of home. Too many men think you need an expensive, large home to do this. This is not correct. I mean if you can easily afford this type of a home with lots of money left over for other things, fine, go for it. But too many of us, me included, bought way too much house and then suffered because we could not handle it.

2) Healthy food. This is the backbone of why you earn some type of living. They are not going to feed themselves until they are grown. This is your job. You buy the good food that they like and will eat.

3) An education. I know that public education is somewhat suspect. But what is not suspect is living in a terrible neighborhood and sending your kids to dangerous schools. You have to live in safe neighborhoods where the schools are safer. Where your kids can safely walk to school or safely ride the bus. They have to be safe. If you are in an area that is not safe, move. This is what you have to do. I know there are problems in all schools, but the safeness issues are not so severe in small town and suburban schools.

4) Opportunities. Some parents do seem to go to extremes when it comes to this. They seem to live vicariously through their children. That is not what I mean. Opportunities are the safe schools. Opportunities are some extra curricular activities that your child may like. Opportunities are you helping them to be with their friends. Opportunities are taking your kids and doing things once in awhile. Opportunities are providing them enough books, games, clothes and electronics that they are satisfied with their lives. If you cannot provide these opportunities you are failing as a father. You have to make earning more money your priority to provide more to your children.

5) Love. Don't most dads do this? For the most part yes. I think dads are better now than in the old days. There seems to be an uptick in the love area. But love is not something that you only can provide so much of. You can provide unlimited love. You can say you love your kids every day or many times a day. You can hug and kiss your children as often as they will let you. I still hug and kiss my 17 year old son. He does not mind as long as I don't do it in front of anyone. He is still my little boy. I can see me doing this when I am on my deathbed.

6) Unconditional acceptance. What I mean is that you let your children do what they do and you accept them as they are. You avoid the criticism that most parents seem to dish out on a continual basis. I do try to provide some guidance. But in a loving, respectful or at least funny way.

7) Hep in times of need. There will be times you need to sit by their side and help with the homework. You will have lots to do besides that, but they will need you to do this. They will call you when you least expect with a problem. But this is what you are here for. You just do not know what life will throw at you or your kids.
When I left my wife
I had to lean on my parents like I was a little kid again and they came through for me big time. Without their kindness and financial aid I would have been in terrible shape. But this is the kind of thing that happens. This may happen to your kids. You may need to provide a lot for them years from now. You have to get yourself in a good position so you can do this if needed. If it is not needed, so much the better. Your life will be the better for it.

8) Being kind. The more I think about it the more I cannot see any reason anyone would need to yell at their kids. They are small until they grow up. Once they are grown, they are not kids anymore. There is never a good time to yell at them. When they are small, yelling is just another form of abuse. It is a big person forcing their will on a small person. The child does not get anything from being yelled at except to understand that they are small, weak, powerless and that anytime they make a mistake or an adult does not know what to do, the solution is to yell at someone. As they get older, yelling is just more and more stupid and more and more harmful to the person. Why would you yell at your teenage child? What have they done so wrong that would justify your yelling at them? They will remember being yelled at their whole life. This never goes away. They may bury it, but they will not ever get over it.

Hans Recommends

Womens Fashion Made Easy
You can help your daughter look good by getting this book. It is an easy way for any woman to look better fast.

How to Leave Your Wife
The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life. Now that I have left my life has never been better. My kids have never been happier and more at peace.

The Secret of Deliberate Creation is an excellent audio program by Dr. Robert Anthony. I have been listening to it over and over again and my life is getting better in the process. I am starting to manifest good things into my life as a result of using this program.