Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

Should I crry on this Toxic Relationship

For twenty eight yrs. I have tried to please my mother by continuing to go back to the mormon church (in and out like a hundred times since the age of 13) and I have tried to quit smoking hundreds of times and done everything I new how to please her and gain her acceptance of me and respect. Two yrs. Ago I went to Island Park to help them with there cabin that they inherited and that was the years that they ripped off three of my toe nails due to infection and to this day I still have no nails on those toes. One day Mom and I were sitting in the living room of this trailer because I was in a lot of pain and unable to do the manual labor that was required at the time. Greatfully the situation was as it was because I did not have to help my egotistical, analytical, bastard of a step-father. So, anyway, we were sitting in the cabin and mom says You know Bub I was so excited when I found out I was having a boy and I just knew I finally had my missionary. Speechless at the time I said nothing because at that time I had come to the conclusion a few years ago that my questions and beliefs about the mormon church were reaffirmed in the manner that it was a cult and there beliefs are wrong and many negative experiences and such were reaffirmed. Unfortunately I said nothing and changed the subject. Shortly after I realized that I would never fit into the mold that she made for me long before I was born.
When I worked at Qwest 5 yrs. Ago I called Mom every break and sometimes after work. Each time we talked no more than 5 minutes with the occasional monthly conversation that lasted a little over 5 min. This is not only a current on going issue but has much history as well. It was always an excuse that oh, I have got to go do this and the usual one of I better let you go! I dont want to run your minutes up. Time after time I have tried to establish a relationship with her and have failed miserably (but I am good at that). So when she said that to me in Island Park that was the last straw and I gave up. Currently I dont call her because I have told her that I cant afford the long distance. Well I can but I
wanted to see if I was remotely important in her life. Keep in mind that the mormon church sells the idea that family is everything and family comes first. So currently she calls about every four days and we talk our 5 min. and go on our merry way but the class of the conversation has been and has been for a long time a bitch session of how busy she is. She has no time to make for me or Adrea (my sister) or her grandkids. Just her husband and her daughter (half sister, age 17). Fine, whatever! She is a stay at home mom and even Days of Our Lives has commercial breaks. I stay at home and I am really busy especially this time of yr with the yard and garden but the bottom line is YOU DO WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU!
Two weeks ago on Wed. she called and we had a 67 min. talk not argument and she stated in that conversation that Do you know how hard it is to know that one of my flesh and blood doesnt believe the way I do! Well gosh Mom did you know that your in a fuckin cult and all they want is your 10% and on and on and on! Did not really say so but it is hard to not! Long conversation and it was important for me (and Adrea) to have her and her husband and Sarah to spend some time with the grandkids (Adreas kids) because they are going through a really hard time write now (explain later). At the end! So she agreed they would come a day earlier and spend it with the kids. They were going to spend Sunday with me at my house but I wanted all of us to be together! If it is said then it should be done but no they got there Friday night and were tired from the drive from Az., no problem, cool. See ya tomorrow at 9 a.m. well no show tell 11:30! Leave at 9.p.m.. They said tomorrow will be here at 8 because Albert (Adreas husband) is going to pick the kids up and take them to Lagoon! Albert said he would be there at 10 he didnt show until 10:30. They showed up at 9:30 and left close to 11 after the kids had gone. So all in all about 12-13 hrs. with the kids!
The whole reason they were coming up was to visit the kids and Grandpa who is now 86 yrs. Of age. So they come up for 8 days and spend 13 hrs. with the grandkids -woo-whoo! Never met or even heard of any Grandparent not wanting to be a big part of there grandkids life. So I go out for a smoke and then come back in on Sun. and walk back in and they are watching the fuckin mormon channel that was broadcasting church services. Went back out all pissed and came in and mom was standing there in the kitchen and I said I cant believe you guys are watching that shit while I am here. Well they are just playing patriotic songs and I said no there not I came in and they said the word sacrament meeting on there. Went back out smoked again and came in and the TV was off. The whole time I was there everybody talked over each other and thank God I was able too refill my anti-anxiety med. Before I went! Oh, Thank God that was possible! So I sat there and tried my hardest to keep up and interacted with the kids (which was great). Every chance they got they mentioned something about there church. Ya, I could have
said well gee Mom I went to my church barbecue last week and it was so cool. Or I love this church that I am currently going too. I could have told her all about it. She knows I am going to The Rock (non-denominational) . But I didnt out of respect!
Dec. 7 2007 we agreed that neither of us would mention anything about our churchs, agreed, she said it was so hard for her and that was the way it had to be! Fine, I can do that. Time after time I have had to remind her of that agreement.
So let me boil this part of the story and the weekend of hell down to not only you but myself as well. I am a traitor viable of treason and should be hung, I will never be respect, I will never be good enough or be accepted, I am an inconvience and a great disappointment. I drink wine once in a while and have an occasional beer, I smoke, I have been divorced too many times (which by the way they ha a great hand in some of those experiences), I have pierced my tongue ( I took it out), I have my ears pierced. Ya, when I moved out I may have been so stoned and drunk out of my mind for two yrs. Ya, well I expected unconditional love but if you are not given that it is hard to give it back. So what do you do? What would you do? All tell you what I am going to do! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH FUN!!!!!! I mean you can only push a boulder so far until either your back breaks or your worn out! My back is broke, I am done for now!
So we went to this mall thing and mom bought me cinnamon sticks and a candy that I used previously in attempting to quit smoking! At one point she gave me a Great-Clips coupon because I havent let her cut my hair in the past and my hair is long (which is not permit able).
When she got there they said they bought fireworks for the kids. I asked mom if I could talk to her (2), finally a chance. Dont like fireworks! They took me to a big show last yr. Everybody was so focused on the fireworks they didnt realize that I was falling off my chair with an anxiety attack! Nevertheless we were hanging out with there mormon friends! Reason;
In California, Orange County, Age 13. Shot at in drive by shooting and saw a guy pumped with dozens of rounds by cops from 20ft. Away. Explained to mom finally and told her no details just what happened. All she said was ok and got up and walked away???? What the fuck was that all about?
I have so much shit on my plate write now that I can barely keep my head up! I so wish I could talk to you write now but the problem with that is is that you will worry, stress you out, ect. And I dont want that. I have no idea why I am telling you all of this stuff you probably dont even care but perhaps there is a sliver of hope that I will not burden you with my problems, that you do care, and you can help me through this rough time cause I am telling you I have been down before. In my life I can not count how many ditches I have crawled out and some how have managed to fall back in!
I finally was willing to step out onto that twig and perhaps that branch so I had two awful dates in the last month until I found out about this situation. I just have been hurt too many times and my heart is filled with pain and holes. And what you know I just got stabbed again. Let me explain;
I had to escape my reality and go down to SLC well I was crying when Adrea called and she and I talked about why I was crying and she knows that I have been really down, manic, stressed out, hurt, ect. Ect. Ect, the past couple of weeks. Three weeks ago Adrea tells me that she is leaving Albert after 7yrs. Of marriage and 3 cool kids. She tells me that she has found another and that she has only known him 3 weeks and she tells me that she is fucking him.
I have had three marriages (unfortunately), the first was annulled and the other two cheated on my and left me for another man. My parents divorced when I was 8 because my Dad cheated and now she has done the same. Adrea helped me get on my feet again both times! What is it with this screwed up situation (s)! She tells me that she hasnt been happy and noticed it two yrs. Ago. I know that she wasnt happy, but what do you say? From the day one that I saw her and Albert together I noticed they had no chemistry. But yet she was pregnant and the family imposed upon her that she marry immediately!
I have LITTLE memory from before the age of 8. Taylor, age 6, Maddy J, age 3, Skylar, age 2! I sat Taylor down and we talked and I told her that she can ask her Mom anytime to call me and we can talk. I could see the pain in her eyes and it brought memories up that I never knew were there and for good reasons. Albert slept in the basement for two weeks and Taylor says this doesnt make any sense. Albert goes to work every day but Sun. and Ryan (her boyfriend) comes over. Then one day Albert (keep in mind that he is a big hunter and anything with hunting is his subject) threatens to kill Ryan and Adrea! Then he moves out and Taylor is more confused and all the kids miss there Daddy because he is hardly around now!
Albert works for Les Swhab and Adrea is a stay at home Mom and now she looking for a night time job so they can switch daily too avoid child-care! Mom doesnt know about this situation that Adrea is cheating. Adrea was all stressed out about her finding out she thought that Taylor might tell Grandma -pa! When they do now because Adrea is moving in with Ryan shortly, Mom wont talk to her anymore and guess what I got so much on my plate right now I think it is time to end this toxic relationship. I am thinking for now but the more I think about it it is never going to change. One of the biggest reason my parents relationship did not work is because mom constantly tried to change my dad! If there is one thing in life that I have learned that is you cannot change a person!
I just cannot believe that my sister would be so self centered (she is) to fuck up her childrens lifes and her own for all that matter. So you see all of these feeling are coming up and I am just tired but hand-cuffed to my soul! I just look at this situation and it is beyond all my comprehension! Can you believe this??
So the plan was to go down to SLC two days early and I could spend some time with the kids her and escape my reality. When I got back home it was 10 x what I was trying to handle. Which was great I found an old bike behind a thrift store for Maddy J. and I fixed it up and put training wheels on it and it was so fun to help her learn how too ride a bike. It took me about a Hr. too convince her that she would not fall over, it was so fun! Taylor is ADD or ADHD and a handful. But when Ryan was over she was acting violent toward him and seeking constant attention from her Mom. Well I went down two days early and Ryan was over there every day and even spending the night except when my parents were there. If he was not there she was texting him!
My sister said at one point that she was sorry that we did not get to spend any time with each other and I said, Yea, that really sucked! She didnt give a shit I could see it in her eyes. I like Ryan a hella of a lot better than Albert! When Albert came I could see so much pain in his eyes! It brought back so many memories! I dont much care for him but he is a good father and provided for his family! That is important!
Thank God Ryan is not a mormon! Yes! Ryan and her talked, whispered in the ear as the two movies watched. Perhaps it was about me I dont care! Ryan and I got along really good and from the short perception I was given, he is a good guy. Adrea and I hated each other growing up but now we are really good friends and I feel like I can tell her anything! She is a good women but lost all respect I had for her.
You know if you fell in love with a man and he was married and you like him and you/him cheat and decide to carry on a commitment wouldnt you be in constant fear that he might just cheat again on you. What kind of security is that? That is one thing that I can honestly say is that I have never cheated!
Man, I really wish you would call. Oh, I spent 6 days in SLC, came home to 25 messages on the answering machine from the prison and later the phone rings and it was a collect call from Tiffanie. I dont want to talk to that bitch but yesterday she called 8 times. I can block the number but then you wont be able to call! What do I do? The reason that the line was blocked in the first place was because she was calling everyday all day long. It has been blocked for well over a yr. Perhaps will just have to write each other. If I dont block my line than I can only afford one call a month and maybe two on a good month! I am sorry I havent excepted you calls but thought it was a lot more $!
I havent quite decided how to handle the situation with my (beloved) mother. I think all just not return her calls but this is going to be really hard. I do love her but I just cant handle all of bull-shit right now! What would you do ???

Not sure if this is the right site for this type problem. I do have much sympathy for you and probally you should follow you gut instents and cut ties for a while and see where it goes from there. Is it possible for you to get any counsling? I wish I knew what to tell you but I don't know. Again best wishes if you need to vent send me a message I'll be glad to listen.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.