"If Indo-Pak war is stopped, how can we earn our silver medal in warfare?": Pakistan COAS Bajwa

Rawalpindi: Amidst voices from the Indian side about stopping the frequent wars between India and Pakistan, Chief of Army Staff of Pakistan has lashed out at the peaceniks from Indian side.

Speaking exclusively to Faking News via phone, COAS Qamar Jawed Bajwa questioned the need for sudden peace between the two belligerent nations. “Being the central point of this universe and being in existence for billions of years, Pakistan had always been a subject of debate among the less civilized nations across this Earth. And jealous of our stupendous growth, our tiny neighbors like India, Iran, and Afghanistan are trying to ruin our trillion cent economy. Add to this, our pure nation is corrupted by wajib ul qatals. As an army chief, I face so many challenges in enabling Pakistan to sustain its top position in the world and now, India does not want war with us?”

Bajwa writing an open letter to his all-weather friend from India, Borkha to stop pacifisim and continue her longtime profession of exposing Indian army positions to them.

His voice had grown furious by the last sentence. Calming himself, he continued, “We did not buy so many F16s and many advanced eighth generation warfare technologies from Amreeka, to keep it locked in military barracks. For how many years should we rent our arms to our proxy fighters? When will our soldiers get to use the weapons we had bought from our Cheen biraders? It has been nearly twenty years since we fought a war with India. And twenty years is too old in the Middle East nowadays. Our fourfather Arabs are now at war with so many permutations and combinations of militant groups and if we talk peace, how can they treat us as quasi-Arabs? This is totally irresponsible yaar!”

“Let me send a clear message to these Aman Ki Asha gangs. Pakistan will always desire for war with India. Because, only when we have wars with India, we win the silver medal in those wars. We come second in those wars and glorify our Shaheens for their brave effort in participating in the war. Like Olympicswaalah say, ‘It does not matter whether you win or lose in a war, participation is all that matters’. We have got participation certificates for past four wars. We want more such participation certificates”, adjusting his voice, he concluded, “So, I hereby warn all those placards showing pacifists to stop going against war mongering.”