Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

Meanwhile in Southbridge…..

This is Sage Guzman 3 years ago:

This is what 3 years of selling crack cocaine in Southbridge will do to a person:

Especially when you choose to mate with this:

It simply does not get any more Southbridge than Davey Guzman:

That picture is the most Southbridge thing I’ve ever seen. The undeserved self confidence, the glorious belt buckle holding up his jorts, the run down apartments, the bootleg chain, the hardo middle finger, the barely functional Saturn, and a half drunken bottle of Powerade. The most expensive thing in that photograph are the Jordan’s. Because…..Southbridge priorities.

Meanwhile, this is what 32 years of crack cocaine in Rhode Island will do to a person:

I repeat – 32. That man is only 32 years old. But in Southbridge years he’s about 94.

Here’s the best part – she anxiously waited for him to get out of jail for what appears to be a full calendar year:

If you’ve ever reached the point in your life where you’re visiting the Worcester County House of Corrections and you tell yourself that you wouldn’t trade this face for anything in the world:

You know you done made some poor life decisions.

Naturally the first thing she started doing when he got out of jail was to go into a crack cocaine partnership with him. Sage, you should’ve stuck to saving Paris from the terrorists

and working at McDonald’s:

Sure, it might not seem as glamorous as slinging rock out of a Section 8 crack den and meeting up with a Rhode Island crackopotamus in an abandoned parking lot, but it paid the bills. But I guess the allure of this yogurt slinger, coupled with his selfie skills, cash roles, and token pit bull was just too much to pass up.

The lesson here is simple – never, ever live in Southbridge. Because if you do you’ll probably end up going from this

54 Comment(s)

People with six figure salaries and seven figure networths walk around with $80 cash on them — because who uses cash? The best way to tell the world you’re poor is to post a selfie where you’re fanning out cash at your dining room table (in your government subsidized apartment) because people who actually have money don’t take selfies with stacks of cash.

Sage sweetie. U r so Hott!
I wanna give u world!
But you need to wake up! Leave that spic. U want to hav his kid sum day? Bad idea. U guys while split b4 kid turn 4yrs. Then wat he will date other bitchs. U will b single wit his kis kid at home. Or worse.. He’ll cheat on u but u dnt mind cuz u know u the main bitch n not the side hoe.
Listen point is i would treat u way better! N i dnt sell drugs to. Holla at me Sage.

Did you ever notice how poor people can somehow afford phones,Jordan’s,fancy car accessories,tattoos,hotel rooms 5 minutes from their hovels and ohh yea and they have better health insurance than many of us? How and why?

Look at the guy, one picture it’s an Oakland A’s cap, Next it’s a Cincinnati Reds cap. Need I say more? if you ain’t showing Bulls you ain’t the man. I worked in Southbridge 40 years ago when all the teen moms would parade around downtown pushing their love child while on the prowl for the next Mr. Right. Like mister I need it right now.

You people need to shut your mouth if you don’t no nuthin Dave is a great man and smarter then you an I hope to have hiz kidz soon Da copz alwayz be hatin on interacial cuples an plantin drugz rag on da pic hahaha itz called a bad hair day like you aint never had one

You can’t be this stupid can you? He tried getting drugs into jail. Tried selling drugs out of jail. Now you have a record thanks to him. He’s the reason sterilization should be a legal option. Rack up charges? Great. Forfeit your right to bring life into your shitty world.

You’re a fucking loser and a parasite. Go get your fucking GED so you can earn an honest living cleaning piss dribble off public bathroom floors you fucking parasite. I would bet that you’re some nasty Newport smoking, pin cushion for dicks and syringes. I also bet you have dirty little fuck trophies and you don’t live with their father(s). Overdose soon please and help the movement to cut down on worthless scum and their taxpayer funded phones, cars, rent, crack, mad dog 20/20, Newports, Neck Tattoos, cough medicine, spray paint, freon, etc… When you OD on heroin, please do it in some remote part of Maine or New Hampshire. I don’t want the Narcan Fairy to save your worthless nasty ass.

Oh Fuck Ya don’t push it! I will fuck you right in your ass! You don’t know who you are fucking with! I will fuck you and beat your face while I give you a reach around! I will dress up in thong panties and blow you after vaping a big hit of vanilla/cherry vape you pussy faggot!

Southbridge sucks, but it’s got nothing on Lawrence. Lawrence is apparently on the map now as the supersize hemorrhoid on the anus of America.

How fucking ratchet does your city have to be, out of all the backwater shitholes in every state of the union, to actually get the attention of – and get mentioned and identified specifically – as a paradigm of all shitholes by none other than the President of the United States?

Lawrence. That’s how ratchet.

And all that bloated turd Dan Rivera could say was basically “uh… not everybody in Lawrence is on heroin. You’re creating ‘boogeymen’…”

Uh, no, ese. Your dirtball constituents are creating boogeymen. Six at a time, at least. For tax purposes.

Can’t we just make Lawrence part of New Hampshire and let them deal with it? The Manchesteretards won’t even have to leave the state for a fix, so no federal offenses. There you fucking go. Sold.

The pic of Sir Guzman with the Southbridge Salute – the run down shack on the left side is where the Oxycontin comes from – just head on up to the third floor and the landwhale up there will be happy to see ya. Feel free and safe – copshop across the street.

You can watch these young girls, more than a few of them of above average looks driving up and down the road to the County House all day Saturday or Sunday. It certainly speaks to what the sociologists and psychologists have said about women wanting to mate with a psychopath. It’s pretty sad. Almost a close tie with the elderly mothers who are spending their weekends up at the County House.

whenever you see one of these low level guys with a wad of crisp 100’s, it means they are about to go pay the deal for all the drugs that they were fronted. That money does not belong to him, he slang poison to get it, but its all going to a bigger fish

Sage Marie… WTF is wrong with you? Why do you think that loser is the best you can do? Sure, we all love our “first” – but this guy is going nowhere but down, and he’s taking you with him. If living in Southbridge in a dumpy cockroach infested section-8 apartment, and being on welfare while your baby daddy is in jail for a few years is what you desire, you are well on your way. You are fucking smoking hot. Knock this shit off. YOU CAN DO BETTER THEN THIS PR GRINGO!

Surprised you didn’t recognize the name TB. This is the same asshole who got caught with a gun in the Oct 2015 article on here. Clearly jail taught him all he needs to know in life!
She was a smokeshow. Damn shame.

It’s one thing I’ve never understood. It’s a given they are using.
But, if I was dealing, I’d be living in burbs, commuting to my corner, doing my business, going back to the burbs.

Drugs are cheaper than they’ve ever been. But how many times when heroin was expensive did they catch somebody on the 3rd floor of some fire-trap tenement where the perp lived with $5K in cash and $5K in drugs.

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF MAKING MONEY IF I HAVE TO LIVE LIKE A PIG WITH PIGS?

Too bad we can’t see the 32 YOs teeth. I’m betting all rotted out.

The Saturn trunk lid picture. Holding your junk is never a good look.

Every picture everyone is throwing the bird. To whom? I don’t know you so you aren’t throwing it to me. To your friends? Why, because you drive a Saturn with a V6? Which as a brand doesn’t even exist? You da man!!! Maybe that’s why is holding his dick.
He has the world by the balls.
“‘Made it ma! Top of the World!”
To you youngsters, that was Jimmy Cagney in White Heat, right before the gas storage tank blew up.