Hello there! I am very curious about handling tantrums. I have a lot of friends who already have kids and I can observe they have tantrums almost all of the time. I would like to be prepared for this one. So I want to know the causes of this and how to prevent it. Thank you and God bless!

7th June 2014, 01:15 AM

ljmarsden

Dear duly3nn3,

What a shame for these children. With gentle, respectful parenting I feel this shouldn't be the case. Have a read of this article for the famous gentle parenting author LR Knost: Toddlers, Tantrums, and Time-Ins, Oh My!. Focussing on connection rather than correction really can change things around.

Let me know what you thought of this article.
Warm wishes,
LJ

7th June 2014, 01:40 AM

duly3nn3

Awsome! The article was really full of ideas. Let me go ahead and try to make that Calm-Me-Jar! :-D

9th June 2014, 02:16 AM

ljmarsden

Yes I love the Calm-Me-Jar idea. I have seen that parenting from this perspective (i.e. focusing on the relationship and connection rather than the child's behaviour) has completely turned around families who were struggling with 'controlling' their children. Trying to understand the world from a toddler's point of view, and appreciating that they do not have the same use of language or control of emotions as an adult, can minimise tantrums and help those that do occur to be over quicker and not leave everyone feeling disconnected. Time-outs are for adults! - when a parent or carer needs to take some deep breathes and remember what is important in parenting. Time-ins and connection are for everyone!

I hope this gentle way of parenting helps you to form special, connected relationships with the children you know and care for.