Buhubbers mental support thread (inspired by wobbles)

I have posted so many threads about anxiety and depression on bubhub but I get sick of feeling like I am just having another winge about my miserable life LOL...
So instead I decided to create this thread in hope that it can act as a little hubbers mental health support thread
So I'll start this like an AA meeting LOL
Hi Im a 22 year old mum of a two year old daughter, I am a sufferer of anxiety and depression and have concerns that I might be suffering from something else as well... My first episode of depression occured when I was 16 but I had behavioural and social problems as a kid.
my whole family have a history of depression and bipolar and the effects it has taken on my immediate family have not been very pretty.

I have struggled with the mental health system for 6 years now and have still not managed to find adequate help, or cannot afford help from a non goverment psyhcologist.

My depression comes and goes on a weekly/monthly basis varying in severity I usually get a severe bout that lasts for a few months at least once a year...
I am in one now, I am not recieving any help.
My anxiety is pretty much constant but is alot less bearable when I am depressed.

Even though my family do experiance depresion as well I do not feel comfortable talking to them about it, because it sends them into a spiral of worry, anxiety and depression.

Everything seems too hard at the moment, I am unmotivated, I have stopped leaving the house and I have not contacted anyone at least two months now, I stopped answering the phone because I struggle to speak without crying. I sleep alot and spend alot of time trying to find the next distraction, if I could afford to get drunk every day I would, luckily I cant LOL.

I dont want sympathy, I just want to talk to others sufferers who feel the same way, without judgement. I know for me at the moment that this is pretty much the only place that I have to go to "have a winge" about how depression is affecting my everyday life.
I need some sort of line to claw myself back to a resembelence of life, for now, this can be it.

I was diagnosed when ds was 3 months old with post natal depression over the last 2 years that has been re diagnosed as severe depression with underlying anxiety .
My medication has been raised and changed several times and i have been put on a mental health plan which will run out in the next few months .

like you we cant afford non subsidised counselling so im not sure what will happen when that ends .

I dont like being around new people , i go from being happy to miserable to angry with a flick of a switch . I take very little pride in my appearance anymore , dh and i are pretty much living seperate lives due to my illness.

I have found dealing with dsd and the issues that come along with her emotionally draining ( especially dh's ex) and all the dr's say is send her back to her mother which isnt an option .

I feel like im all alone all the time even though i have a husband who loves me , a son who is my world and supportive parents .

Just found a resource website www.ecouch.anu.edu.au, have been reading through it today, it has lots of programs full of information for various mental illnesses including tools to manage and prevent future depression (some tools such as cognative therapy) ect...
You can log in and set up your own personalised account.
I found some of it to be a bit helpful, and I learnt a few things obviously not a replacement for real therapy though,
I found the link on the beyondblue webpage.

Wow it was made a sticky haha.
I just found another support forum on beyond blue for people dealing with depression, anxiety, bipolar BPD and other mood disorders, its good because everyone on there is experiancing the same thing and everybody is at different ages and stages of recovery and awareness.
You can have a vent about anything without fear of judgement

Im having allot of trouble falling asleep at the moment. My mind just reels constantly with thoughts about finances, the way people are, the way I am, things that need doing around the house, I worry about the boys, I worry about my husband. I feel quite anxious at times.

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