Hello guys,
Just started writing a new fic loosely based on Eve Online (although it's not central to the plot). I'm looking for some critique on my first chapter so I can eliminate any blundering errors that may lead to problems in the future. Also, if you'd like the plot for further study, don't be afraid to PM me for the document.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/428165/trailblazers

Hello my fellow bronies,
I have been working on a long novel recently, posted on FimFiction (link below) and I do not receive enough feedback. I really wish to improve this story, and my quality of content, and I cannot do it without your help! Feel free to PM me on FimFiction or just leave a comment on the story. Thank you guys so much. A short recap is also below.
Link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/343798/far-away
Far Away: A brief introduction
This story is about a pony named Jackson, who finds himself in the desert (not telling how here) and nearly died of dehydration, yada yada yada. Pretty standard so far. He was saved by Daring, who finds him during some scouting of a jungle (don't ask how a jungle is right next to a desert. I don't know when I started writing this...). He gets nurtured back to health and basically, a war starts between Equestria and Griffins. Luna gets captured by some evil force, and all goes to anarchy.
This story is tagged with: Adventure, Mystery, Dark, Gore (Not much gore at all. Just tagging just in case.), Sad and Romance
Expected length after complete would be around 100,000 to 150,000 words. Currently at 63,000 words as of 21/11/2016.
-Sky

Luna and Celestia raise the moon and sun. (Luna; moon Celestia; celestial which basically means space). Twilight so my favourite but it signifies the time between sunshine and moonshine which is twilight. So these two first, Luna and celestia are gods and the rest are assistance. Look at inkrose's headcannon about discord.