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Thursday, 23 November 2017

Please Don't Touch My Hair

Dublin, Ireland

Today I'll talk about my utmost biggest pet peeve when it comes to personal space. Before I start, I'd just like to say that this is not a targeted post at anyone and it is not meant to offend anyone who has been ALLOWED to touch my hair prior to this post.

However if we've had an encounter where I was unaware of your intentions prior to the act, then this is for you.

I'm sure you see posts like these pop up every now and again from ladies of the African or Latina community talking about their tales of unwanted hair attention? Well today I'm adding my story to the mass.

This is not a message of political issue or one of cultural appropriation, it's simply a personal message and one I should really never have to say but here goes, please don't touch my hair.

Okay, there I said it.

Let me explain why and again it's pretty simply... I don't like it.

When I was in primary school we had few playground rules to stick by, one that I've always remembered was to keep my hands to myself. It's not the biggest life lesson but it is a useful one.

Imagine getting up to style your hair so it looks as good as you feel and whilst walking down the road a complete stranger decides they'd fancy copping a feel of your hair and thus runs their hand through it. Putting aside the complete lack of manners in the act, it is an invasion of my personal space and a threat to my hairstyle which takes a real long time to do!

When this happens yes I get real flipping mad sometimes, I even question the justification of punching you in the throat but that's only on a bad day. Be it acquaintances or strangers, if I'm lucky enough to cross paths with another soul, even if just below surface level, on this Earth I treat them with the same level of respect I'd like to receive. Therefore if I do not at any point place my hand in/on your hair I'd expect that you wouldn't do it to me.

It can be incredibly invasive and makes me feel insecure if someone touches my hair without permission. Imagine having someone run their fingers through your hair while you feel greasy and can't wait to go home for a shower. They may not find your hair as gross and you may feel it is ( because realistically it probably isn't ) but for that moment you're left feeling even worse about it than you did before. It never makes me feel like my hair is beautiful and soft and fluffy like you may say afterwards, it makes me feel violated.

So for one last time, dear strangers please don't touch my hair. I know it may look like cotton candy and it may be tempting but it's on my head, an extension of me and I really don't like it. You wouldn't run up to stroke my knee so don't touch my hair!

If you would like to touch my hair by all means ask but don't be offended if I say no because I'm not a walking spectacle that you can access with a polite please or thank you. I get in moods of not wanting to be touched, I may not want to ruin my hairstyle, I may not be comfortable with you or the situation, whatever the reason, just because you ask doesn't mean the answer will be in your favor.

Just keep your hands to yourself unless told otherwise. It's not all that hard a thing to do now is it?

2 comments so far

I'm sorry but oh my god! What is wrong with ppl?! If someone did that to me I would NOT be impressed - we also had that rule in primary school and I think it's a very apt inclusion in this post. Good for you!