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Friday, 26 October 2018

To celebrate Dussehra, I would like to introduce you to a
group of women who were most instrumental (literally) in celebrating this
festival.

One of the key celebrations of Dussehra is the dandiya dance
and the aesthetics of the dandiya sticks has evolved over the years. This
episode of my writing is to pay homage to the women of Prajwala and Sunitha
Krishnan, who brought this festival alive with their version of hand made dandiya
sticks that they sold for Rs 75/ pair.Encased in its own colourful case, a few pairs of dandiya sticks were
delivered to me on my recent visit to their campus so that I can take them as
gifts for my colleagues at INK.

When I met Sunitha a decade ago in her tiny walk up office
in the narrow gullies of Hyderabad old city in 2008 or so, she spoke about the
women and children she rescues from prostitution.She took me to a work shop a few miles away
where they teach women furniture making, welding, book making etc., She said
that they choose vocations that require physical strength because it is most
important area of confidence building for these women who have been abused
physically. The furniture and the
notebooks that they make in these workshops are supplied to schools and other
institutions. When I visited her in early October of 2018, the story of the
women and the need to rescue has still not changed.She spoke of the 80 women they rescued a few
days earlier, with the youngest being 2.5 years old.What has changed is that her tiny walk up
office morphed into a 3-acre office complex where uniformed security personnel
guard the premises while a high iron gate further guards the recently
rescued.The campus houses the office
staff as well the workshop with printing and furniture making equipment.There is a small, elegant home standing next
to the office where Sunitha stays through the week and goes to her apartment to
see her husband on Sundays.There are 4
to 5 guest rooms for the well wishers or visiting volunteers to stay.A few kilometres away a 10-acre campus has
been created as a permanent home for the rescued women with crèche facilities
for the children of working mothers.An organic
garden exists in each campus to feed its inhabitants. After my first visit in
2008, I worked with Sunitha to raise the money they needed to build all these
facilities by bringing in not only well-meaning individuals but also organisations
like google.org and other large Foundations. I have seen Sunitha leverage every paisa that
is raised by making the most of it.Sunitha and her husband built the two campuses with a fraction of the
cost of what most builders might have spent with sustainability and elegance.

Following my article, you will find links to her talks that
we curated, which narrate her own journey.What’s impressive is not only the number of women they rescued but the
eco system that they built to counter human trafficking.Be it passing laws that make men equally
responsible when they are caught (instead of parading the women to prisons
while letting the men go) to training police academies across India to teach
them how to conduct the raids, follow the leads, develop a sensitive way of
handling, or going on a road trip to districts across Andhra Pradesh and
Telangana to educate about trafficking – each activity is done with limited
resources and large impact.I have also
seen her train the next generation of rescuers, rehabilitators, accountants and
anyone else who might touch the eco system.

Sunitha is on a journey to replace herself in the day-to-day
operations so that she has more time to write and give herself the best gift
possible – time to be with herself.Let’s
all wish her luck in her journey.

What I learnt from Women of Prajwala:

Personally, they put a perspective on what I call “problems”.I have no right to complain about my bank
balance or personal comforts when I see the women who are so graceful despite us
letting them down as a society.Professionally,
our ability to convert inspiration to impact for Prajwala gave us the courage
to start INK in India and continue that journey.Sunitha’s talk was so powerful that we
decided to take action and help her build a permanent home for Prajwala.Our audience, our INK tribe played a part in
building these campuses and each time I visit the campus that Sunitha built, I
feel that INK hit the jackpot. On those lonely nights when I question my
decision as an entrepreneur, I think of the campus and feel as though I closed
a fresh round of funding.

Saturday, 20 October 2018

In today’s world, we are enamoured by the young and the
rich.We have lists for 25 under 25, 30
under 30, 40 under 40.So, I thought
that I would lay claim to 50 over 50.

I decided to write each week about a person who not only had
an idea but had the chutzpah to carry it through and had the tenacity to do it
for decades. Here are the three rules I
plan to adopt:

1.I will not write about my immediate family in
India because they would definitely fill the first 50.

2.I will not write about people I read about or heard
about

3.I will not write about those who have deceased

I will only write about people I met who are alive.These are the people who spent some personal
time with me that gives me an insight into what makes them unique

Hope you enjoy the stories of 50 Over 50 each Friday.

Why now?

Here are the two main reasons for coming up with this list:

Firstly - Today, more than ever, there is a need for adult
supervision, coaching, nurturing for the young ideas that are springing
everywhere.The experienced have to
learn from the young and become coaches who gently guide but not dictate and the
young have to learn to bring in experience.A lot of the problems with starts ups, unicorns and young media moguls
is that there is no adult supervision.There is NO ONE who is watching them to warn when they are on a slippery
slope, to make the slight course correction that can be the fine line between success
and sudden death.

Secondly - There is a selfish reason for doing this as well.

As I got older, my mind has not aged and even level of
energy has kept up but what has changed drastically is the way the society
looks at me. When my young colleagues go out to a pub, they assume that I would
not want to go out with them; If I have
a little grey in my hair, I am immediately written off the list of cutting edge
thinkers and in the start up world, Venture Capitalists want to see a young
face at the helm. And I feel only the
youth of my mind and not the age of my body. I see my friends in my age group who could be
great coaches not be utilised to their fullest. So, I decided that it is about time I created
my own list of the COOL 50 over 50.

Why me?

I became an entrepreneur in my 40s.In some ways, I lived my professional life in
reverse.In my 20s and 30s, I worked for
a large company, traveled around the world in style, stayed at the best hotels,
hung out celebrities and worked on trends and technologies that define who we
are today.From making a purchase on line
to playing a game on the computers to listening to streaming music or watching
video online to purchasing online – my career at Intel had a small yet
strategic part to play in it.Subsequent
turns as a Venture Capitalist and Social entrepreneur had me hang out with the
well to do and the well meaning.It’s in
my 40’s that I got the entrepreneurial bug because I realised that I have
always been one.Even in a large
company, I ran small, strategic programs and grew them, always walking away at
the verge of having to manage operations and large teams; as a VC, I tried to
make investments in India way before it was time; as a social entrepreneur, I
set up internet labs in under privileged schools when the conventional wisdom
was arguing for taking care of basic needs like uniforms and building
toilets.I always shot way ahead of the
curve, sometimes missing the mark and many more times making a difference in my
own way.

And this turn as an entrepreneur has been the most exhilarating
yet exhausting journey.From my fancy
life in 20s and 30s, I moved to the financially unstable life of an
entrepreneur in my 40s.And there are
three essential ingredients that helped me move myself up the learning ladder that
keeps the factor of exhilaration tip slightly over the factor of exhaustion.

1.To surround myself with the truly wealthy that
are idea rich and go through life with humility

2.To measure success in 10 year intervals and
having the stomach to hit the bottom.And be willing to give up something along the way

Over the years, I realised that there is no substitute for
spending more time on this earth and experiencing the ups and downs. There are many young people who might be more
knowledgeable and even wise but there is an undeniable grace and beauty that
comes when one stands the test of time.

The technologies may change, content may evolve but the
basic pursuit of personal excellence, professional integrity, decency,
courtesy, grit and a general respect of all things in the universe and the need
to sustain life beyond our lifetime remains the same.

So, I wanted to write about 50 people over 50 who
I had the privilege to meet and get to know who embody some of the traits I
treasure the most. Hope you enjoy
getting to know them.

Monday, 8 October 2018

In the previous three episodes, I shared about my stroll into the streets of scents and how my husband Rajat gave me my soul mate of a perfume, “Poeme”. You also know that I was crushed by the news of Poeme being discontinued. Let’s pause about perfumes and let me share with you something magical.

In 2003, My life changed with the arrival of my son, Arnav. I was always terrified of pregnancy. I thought that it would slow me down, wondered whether I would be a good mother, was worried that the vagabond in me would be curtailed. And much to my surprise, my pregnancy was a breeze. I worked till a week before my delivery and stayed home for a month after bringing Arnav home and I did not want to put him down for a second. For the first time in my life, I really understood what my father must have felt when he held me in that operating room when I first arrived and why he loved me despite all my experiments with life. I fell in love truly and madly with my child.

I would lay down next to him each night and read him stories. When he was five or six, he asked me to tell him stories from my life, especially funny ones. Over the years, I told him stories of my parents’ childhood, my summer vacations, each person I was friends with, my school days, college days in India as well in US, work life, projects I worked on, people I met and told him of his paternal grand parents and all their family. As he grew up, I told him of my dreams, my crazy escapades, work details. I don’t think that there is anything that my son does not know about me.

He is a teenager now and slowly separating. A major event was when he went to Paris this April to play in a football tournament. It was the first time that he was going out of the country without us, with his school and his friends. He wanted money for expenses. I told him that he did not need much because he would be busy playing tournaments and his hotel and food are covered anyway. I spoke to other parents and we decided that we should give them around $300 and that should be enough for a week. I gave him strict instructions that just because he had money, he need not spend it and that he should not buy anything too expensive and so on and so forth. I could just hear his unsaid “Mom! Stop it” and I finally curbed my helicoptering. He had a great time. They won a couple of games, lost many and carried home wonderful memories of everything from Mona Lisa to Eiffel tower to staying up late talking till they lost their voices. A week later, all the parents gathered at the airport in the early hours – this time to receive tired, quiet kids, quite different from the excitedly babbling boys a week earlier. We got home at about 9am and he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he handed me $50 or so and I scolded him for spending so much money and told him that hopefully he did not buy junk. First he showed me the 5 or 6 t-shirts he bought for himself which totalled $50 or $60, then he spoke about some of the food they ate, then he showed me the sweatshirt he got for my husband and then he handed over a small package to me and asked me to open it. When I did, I saw a beautiful white package of Chanel perfume. This was the gift that cost him the most – over $100. He said “Ma! I remember the story that you told me about Chanel No. 5 and how you never bought it for yourself. I went to the shop and asked and they said that this was the latest Chanel perfume. I got it for you so that you can now complete that wish.” I felt like such a heel for giving him a hard time for spending all that money. Most of his pocket money was spent on me remembering a story I told him years ago. And just like that, “Poeme” my favorite perfume was replaced by Chanel. He remembered such a random detail from a story of my past and brought me a gift so thoughtful.

I still have a bottle left of “Poeme” that was given by my husband, who after 23 years, still manages to stay with me; a bottle of “Versace Bright Crystal” that my son helped me buy to replenish the dwindling supply of Poeme and also “Chanel” that he chose for me. They are each my lucky charms for different purposes and I am thankful for the treasure of these three bottles.

They say that life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. In my nostalgia for things gone by, I have not seen the new possibilities that were right in front of me. We get so attached to things, think that those things define us and then magically, we move into a place where none of those things matter. And all that you are left with is a huge gratitude of the love that surrounds you, of occupying a place in someone’s heart so deep that it touches your soul. May be, whatever our problems are - if we keep telling our stories, our children may provide solutions in ways unimaginable. The trick is not to have that expectation and be surprised by the rewards…every single time. Next time you see me, you sure might wonder if I smell like Poeme, Versace or Chanel and all I can tell you is that it’s that sweet smell of something beautiful.

Friday, 5 October 2018

In the previous two parts of these diaries, you got to know how “Poeme” became the perfume of my choice for over two decades. In 2016 or so, I was told that the perfume was discontinued and that it would not be available for sale. I got into a panic. You take some things so much for granted that you don’t think twice about it. At each point of my life, I experimented with only one thing at a time and everything else remains the same.

When I was single and finding out who my ideal partner would be, I stayed with the same company, Intel. After I got married, we moved into a home and we own that home even now. As I started experimenting with my career – from Intel to being a VC to Social entrepreneur to an entrepreneur from US to India, the rest of the habits remained same – Vamp lipstick from Chanel, Himalayan kajal stick, Poeme perfume, saree for the stage, standard pant, top and stole for the rest of the days, same dishes in handful of restaurants – be it baingan bhartha at the Amber in Mountain View or egg biryani at Lucky’s in Mumbai or spaghetti aglio olio at Toscano in Bangalore etc. So, when lipstick color Vamp was discontinued, I could get over it but when Poeme was discontinued, I was really upset. I wrote to the company, I even wrote a poem about Poeme.

MARCH 29, 2019

POEME

Liquid Gold

Slightly sprayed on my skin

Lingering all day long

Seeping through layers of my skin

A love affair of over two decades

Becomes such a part of me

That it makes me smell like “me”.

I have always been a scent woman

As a newly wed

When my husband presented a

multiple choice of perfumes

I chose you.

Since then I bought you

In every possible size

Without looking at the price

With no thought, no other explanation

I kept you with me always

When I sprayed a little on my wrist

The thought of my grand father

Spraying a drop of attar on his handkerchief

And tucking it into his pocket

Would flash by

The summer evenings in Eluru

When my aunts would sit

With a mound of Jasmine flowers

Weaving into my hair

A five-hour art work

Layering my long hair

Filling the room with a fragrance

Intoxicating evenings

Inexplicable pride as I was

paraded through the neighbour homes

And the final prize would be

Presenting the work to my grand father

Who would ask me to turn around

Putting his hands on my shoulder

Pull me slightly closer to him

And inhale deeply the fragrance of fresh flower

And then turn me around

And hand me some small change

For my patience to sit for so long

Making me feel like a rich queen

Who can splurge her earnings on

Treating oneself to an ice cream soda

------ All those memories flood by

Summer nights in our Hyderabad home

When the terrace would be washed

With buckets of water

With heat rising by the touch of cold liquid

Floor cleaned

Mats laid

Covered by hand sown mattresses

Fresh white sheets spread and tucked

Soft pillows completing the picture

A long line of mattresses pillows

Welcoming us all to

Sleep under the stars

My Dad, grand parents

Siblings and visiting cousins

A long time of tired bodies

Falling asleep to the

Breeze carrying the

Fragrance of Jasmine and Mallepuvvu

From our back yard

Fun nights of stories and laughter

Slowly melting into a mixture

Snoring and silent breathing

I always imagined

A white handkerchief

Sprayed with Poeme

Adorning my body

As I am carried onto the funeral pyre

I somehow thought

That this was a death do us part deal

I had no idea that

Business decisions

Would “retire” you

I was heart broken

When I heard that

you were being

"discontinued"

Sending an SOS to my Friends

to buy every last bottle they could find

I went to the Duty free Shops

Whenever I travelled around the world

To buy the few that were left behind

My panic rises when

I see that storage is dwindling

When my nephew commented the other day

“Do you still use Poeme?

I realised that you have become a part of me

A signature for my entry into any room

How I wish I could create you

And keep you with me forever

For now

I am slowly getting used

To the idea to bid adieu

To my lovely Poeme

I felt so silly to be so sentimental about a scent. May be it happened at a time when everything else seem to be falling apart. Being an entrepreneur is a very tough journey. Especially when you start the journey in your 40s and feel as though time is passing by with progress in profits not as fast paced as you had projected. I made America my home for 25 years and the move to India was the most exhilarating yet exhausting transition I ever made. So, even a silly thing like my favourite perfume discontinued, felt like a personal attack.

Like all things that seem insurmountable, something totally unexpected happened that gave me a whole new perspective and whole new hope. (I realized that week is too long of a break for my final edition. So, look out for the final part on MondayJ)