What did the soldiers in Afghanistan do with those copies of Pinheads and Patriots your dad sent in a care package? They set them on fire.

You're stuck in some god-awful outpost in the middle of nowhere. Internet access is spotty, and you and your buddies have all thoroughly pawed over the one copy of Maxim still holding together. You've even read that copy of Pride and Prejudice twice, just to keep the boredom at bay. Imagine your excitement when you receive a box of books from a random stateside do-gooder. You open it eagerly and... Pinheads and Patriots?

Some jerk sent us two boxes of this awful book (SPOILER ALERT: George Washington — Patriot; George Soros — Pinhead) instead of anything soldiers at a remote outpost in Afghanistan might need, like, say, food or soap. Just burned the whole lot of them on my Commander's orders.