Trying to stay calm

So our family just found out theres a chance my grandfather may have pancreatic cancer. My grandfather has 11 kids majority of them all live in the same town and are all about 5 to 10 minutes away and then there are a few that live within a hour away. Even though they are all close somehow my mother is the one who is his major caregiver. We will find out for sure in the next few weeks if its true he has cancer things are going to become more stressful shes trying to take care of him plus her 6 kids and of course ill be trying to take care of her and my baby. Im currently 36 weeks and im trying to stay calm and not stress but how can i not? The next few weeks are supposed to be pure bliss and they are becoming bitter sweet.

Comments (4)

I understand completely. 1.5 yrs ago, with my 6mo old in tow, we tried a rotation schedule as my grandfather lived his last 10 weeks at home- colon cancer. He had 5 living children, his wife and 13 grandkids.

I'm 35 weeks and we found out last week DH's grandmother has cancer in her pancreas, liver and lungs. Her timeline is unclear, but at 90 she doesn't really want to have the invasive biopsy. We are mostly just hoping she meets this baby. There are only her 2, single, adult children who don't have their own lives sorted (in their 50's) and DH (dear husband) and I. Her other grandsons are far away. Her husband passed a year after thier daughter-DH's mom. She is ready to go and enjoy these last week's but her kids keep pushing test/treatment, which makes everything harder. She just went home yesterday and none of her kids will agree to regular visits, they just want meals on wheels and nurses to take care of her. Poor Grandma.

I am sorry to hear that your family is going through this. I all too vividly remember how hard it is and this is new diagnosis is just drumming it all back up. Be thankful there is close family. Do your best to take care of your mother. My dad spent several weeks on the sofa beside his dad's hospital bed. Weeks later, he said he appreciated the snacks/foods we brought him as he was living on cereal and sandwiches those weeks.

As for not stressing, I have no tips. I am still trying to figure that out myself. Good luck. Big hugs. Deep breaths. It's ok to take time to love yourself. I am sure your grandpa would want that for you.

I understand completely. 1.5 yrs ago, with my 6mo old in tow, we tried a rota...

Posted
11/08/2018

I understand completely. 1.5 yrs ago, with my 6mo old in tow, we tried a rotation schedule as my grandfather lived his last 10 weeks at home- colon cancer. He had 5 living children, his wife and 13 grandkids.

I'm 35 weeks and we found out last week DH's grandmother has cancer in her pancreas, liver and lungs. Her timeline is unclear, but at 90 she doesn't really want to have the invasive biopsy. We are mostly just hoping she meets this baby. There are only her 2, single, adult children who don't have their own lives sorted (in their 50's) and DH and I. Her other grandsons are far away. Her husband passed a year after thier daughter-DH's mom. She is ready to go and enjoy these last week's but her kids keep pushing test/treatment, which makes everything harder. She just went home yesterday and none of her kids will agree to regular visits, they just want meals on wheels and nurses to take care of her. Poor Grandma.

I am sorry to hear that your family is going through this. I all too vividly remember how hard it is and this is new diagnosis is just drumming it all back up. Be thankful there is close family. Do your best to take care of your mother. My dad spent several weeks on the sofa beside his dad's hospital bed. Weeks later, he said he appreciated the snacks/foods we brought him as he was living on cereal and sandwiches those weeks.

As for not stressing, I have no tips. I am still trying to figure that out myself. Good luck. Big hugs. Deep breaths. It's ok to take time to love yourself. I am sure your grandpa would want that for you.

Im hoping the results come back negative. This would be his first great grandchild and i know he wants to meet her. Just praying and breathing. If the results are positive ill be off of work in about teo weeks for maternity lesve so i can help watch the kids. Its just annoying trying to take on so many tasks when theres enough people in the family to help but they choose not to.

Im hoping the results come back negative. This would be his first great grand...

Posted
11/08/2018

Im hoping the results come back negative. This would be his first great grandchild and i know he wants to meet her. Just praying and breathing. If the results are positive ill be off of work in about teo weeks for maternity lesve so i can help watch the kids. Its just annoying trying to take on so many tasks when theres enough people in the family to help but they choose not to.

Some people are TERRIBLE caregivers. My dad and uncle stepped in. Both from out of town to take care of their dad and live in their 1bedroom home for a few weeks when the sisters couldn't lift him. Their brother and his wife (who lived 8mins away) made some cucumber/ginger soup and tried to tell my grandfather if he ate it he would be cured... Of stage 4 cancer... I'm no oncologist but I don't think that's how cancer works.

At least your mother sounds compassionate and helpful which is exactly what your grandpa needs. Hoping for a good prognosis!

I'm so sorry to hear this. I was in a similar situation earlier this pregnancy. My grandpa, the one that taught me everything from how to shoot guns to how to parallel park my car. The one who i stayed summers with becuase my parents worked full time. That grandpa was sick. I knew it. Just myself and no one else wanted to admit it.

He had his first surgery in May and passes away right after his 80th birthday in July. He was done. The first surgery was hard on him and then they had to go back in for another small procedure and he never really recovered. He had the 2nd surgery on a Wednesday, he begged them to go home on Friday and he had passed by that next Friday.

I sure hope that you do not deal with anything like that. I know that he is my guardian angel and I'd do anything for him in the entire world. I also know that he is not suffering anymore and he is up in heaven raising all kinds of cain with his brother.

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