Running through life with a heart overwhelmed by grace

my secret addiction

As of this past week, I am taking part in the Proverbs 31 Made to Crave Online Bible Study. If you’re not already in it, you should be.

I’ve come to realize, as it is overlooked commonly in our society, we permit certain behaviors from others and ourselves because they aren’t that bad. #permissiblebutnotbeneficial For example, I don’t feel that I am “addicted” to food, in general, but I do eat fast food way too much. More than I’d like to and more than I believe God would like me putting into my body.

When I was a kid, we would have fast food often. It was exciting when we got to go out to McDonald’s or Burger King and then play on the playground. Who didn’t love that as a kid? But I think over time, I started associating food with fun times.

Like, any time there is a social gathering, there must be food, and if there’s food, I MUST eat it. It would be rude not to. Also, I have battled with people “accusing” me of not eating enough because I have never been overweight so I must be starving myself. Well, I wasn’t. I just wasn’t that hungry. Heck, I was only (and am still only) 5 feet tall and half an inch but I digress.

I LOVE fast food. The saltiness of the French fries. The sweetness of the tea. The convenience for a single woman who works full-time as a teacher, part-time as a server, and is starting a health/fitness business on the side. Why shouldn’t I go to the drive-thru? I deserve it. I’ve worked hard. I don’t have time to make something and if I did it would just go to waste because it’s just me eating it. I can only handle leftovers for a day or so.

These are my excuses and these are the reasons that I permit myself to do it. Day after day. I don’t restrict myself because I don’t have to. I don’t get anything too high in calories so I don’t really gain any weight from it as long as I’m working out.

But here’s the thing, I don’t feel great when I eat these things. Have you ever seen that Subway commercial where the girl orders the “Badonkadonk“? That’s how I feel. Gross. That is not in God’s design for us. We are not meant to feel gross after nourishing our bodies, but that’s not really what fast food does, is it? Nope.

I feel somewhat like Eve in the Garden. She thought, “What the worst that could happen by eating of this tree?” She saw that it was good for food and pleasing to the eye so she ate some of it, without ever considering the consequences. Now, obviously, I am not Eve and McDonald’s is not the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but I understand her more now. She was human, as are we, but what she should have done is call on God when she was tempted.

As I am going through this study, I am learning more about myself. More than I realized I was holding onto and permitting. The verse for the week is:

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. {Psalm 84:2}

Wouldn’t be a beautiful thing to cry out to God and crave only him to satisfy our desires? So, the next time I want to be lazy and go through the drive-thru. I will pray and I will remember this verse. Then, I will drive home and cook something nourishing. Something that is good for my body and that will fuel it rather than poison it slowly. I will use food as my medicine, not my reward.

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25 thoughts on “my secret addiction”

Great thoughtful post. Have you ever considered that it might not be the food you crave but the warm, happy memories that went along with it? The chemicals in food can surround someone like a comforting hug. Blessings,

Then please remember 1 Corinthians 9:27 and talk your body into submission! Don’t give the devil a foothold in your life because he’d like nothing better than to see you fail and destroy your bodily temple of the Holy Spirit. 1John 4:4. I know you can do this! I’m cheering you on. 🙂

Using medicine as food not reward is a great way to look at this. Thank you for sharing and for our honesty! I am working on the same thing….when I feel that craving going to God first. I did it for the first time last night and had blueberries instead of something bad and was actually satisfied!

I think I have a tendency to go for the easy stuff as well. Not always real bad, but easier than something more healthy. Thank you for sharing this perspective, I know I need to make changes for my health, but struggle with the want to. Because I don’t feel great, I lack the energy. Which is all the more reason to take a little more time to make a healthy choice. Thank you for sharing your heart!

This is a great post, it actually made me really think about a few things I do. I’ve had an addiction to Pepsi, and I’ve found it wasn’t so much as an addiction, but I had taught myself that I couldn’t get through a day of work without it. I think everyone could look at their lives and find things they are addicted to, to fulfill a desire! Thanks for sharing!!!

Isn’t it funny how we rationalize things like that? I used to do the same thing with Mountain Dew. I bought it by the case and left it at work. I had to just stop buying it. Thank you for sharing your struggle with me!

Thank you for sharing that piece of you. I’m on the M2C study too and I was scrolling through the blog hop pics and I was just drawn to yours. I too am only 5′ tall and have my own stories about being accused of “not eating enough” by my mother and the beginnings of my struggles. My issues are rooted deep. You can see my post for #permissiblebutnotbeneficial at http://www.simplyorganizedmama.com/?p=466 I really look forward to following your posts these next few weeks.

Great post. I actually don’t have a food addiction, I tend to take out my stress or other challenges with working out. My answer to life’s challenges is sweat it out…but as anything, too much of anything isn’t good for you!

Thanks for the post!! I found it on the M2C blog hop. I love your insights and resonate with your struggles! It is easy to feel more OVERWHELMED than EMPOWERED!! We must keep each other encouraged and lifted in lots of prayer! Here’s my own take on this journey so far: http://cravingsconfidential.blogspot.com. God bless!

Baby steps girlie! You can do this 🙂 I love the saying, “Fail to plan, plan to fail.” I completely get your comment about sometimes you are just lazy. When I’m lazy temptations are definitely harder to resist. Find you a true friend for accountability that will be honest with you even when it hurts to hear:) Let’s do this!

Hi, I'm Niki. I'm here to share my fitness, faith, and everything in-between. I have a passion for helping others reach their goals, whether it be fitness, faith, or financial. I'm 1st grade teacher by day, fitness coach by afternoon. If you can dream it, you can do it!