Michael Jackson Once Pitched Playing James Bond, But a Bowl of Guacamole Ruined It

Michael Jackson may be best remembered for his music and moonwalking skills, but he wasn’t a complete stranger to acting either. How could we forget Francis Ford Coppola’s masterpiece Captain EO, the Scarecrow in The Wiz, and that time he terrifyingly played an old white man who ripped off his face in that Stephen King horror movie? Jackson apparently wanted to add one more role to his acting resume, and it was an iconic one: James Bond.

Back in the 1980s a very strange meeting reportedly occurred between Michael Jackson and famed celebrity agent Michael Ovitz, who co-founded Creative Arts Agency. According to a new tell-all memoir from Ovitz (via Metro UK), Jackson invited the industry figure and Ovtiz’s then-business partner Ron Meyer his home and told the two he wanted to star in an action movie. More specifically, Jackson allegedly said he wanted to be the next 007. Here’s where things take a turn into Weird Town.

The pop star was wearing one of his usual stylish hats during the meeting, and somehow, the hat fall off his head and into a bowl of guacamole – first of all, how large of a guac dish are we talking here if it was big enough to fit a hat? That’s a hell of a lot of guac for three people, even if you’re really hungry. But back to the story.

After the hat fell, Michael didn’t grab a napkin to wipe off the avocado goo, he didn’t decide to go hat-less for the rest of the day, or pick another hat from his surely-extensive collection of fashionable headwear. No. For some reason, the King of Pop decided to put the hat back on without removing said guacamole and continued to speak of his passion for playing the British secret agent. The glob of green dip then slid down Jackson’s hat as he spoke, and the whole thing was so surreal Ovitz and Meyer started laughing. Only, MJ thought they were laughing at him and his Bond pitch, or so the story goes. Ovitz’ writes in his memoir:

Then the blob fell off, and Ron totally lost it. I cracked up, too, and Michael stalked out. I found him and explained for 15 minutes that we hadn’t been laughing at him. […] Finally, Michael’s face cleared. “OK, Ovitz. OK,” he said. “But I want to play James Bond.” I am proud to report I didn’t laugh, this time.

Obviously, Michael Jackson did not become the next James Bond. Ovitz explained to the Beat It singer that he was too “thinly built” and too sensitive to play the role. But imagine, just for a moment, that instead of Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig, we got a Michael Jackson James Bond movie. A 007 who moonwalks! So are we to blame that perilous green snack for the fate of the next 007 and the future of Jackson’s acting career? We’ll never know.