Victoria McGrath addressing the judge and jury during the trial of State vs. Raheem Benson in June 2018 at the Arapahoe County Courthouse, Centennial Colorado:

“Good morning, Your Honor. My name is Victoria McGrath and I am Nicholas Lewis’ mom…I’ve asked myself numerous times, how is it humanly possible to hurt this badly? It’s a level of suffering that I never knew existed. This experience has left a huge hole in my heart — a hole in the shape of my son.

"This is by far the most devastating thing I’ve ever had to deal with and it goes without saying how much I love and miss Nick. The horror and pain I live with, as well as my family, day in and day out is unexplainable. The pain is as strong today as it was the day I found out Nick died.

The kind of relationship a mother could only dream of

"I never knew until I had Nick, what unconditional love really meant. He filled my heart with such overwhelming joy, he was such a blessing. He was the sweetest, most beautiful child with his white blonde hair, and big blue eyes and always had smile on his face.

He was somewhat quiet and reserved which carried through into his adulthood as he was always known for his laid back personality and his big goofy grin. He was kind and gentle and always went out of his way to lend a helping hand.

Nicholas Lewis’ and his son are at Lookout Mountain in Golden, Colorado.(Photo: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO BY VICTORIA MCGRATH)

"Nick and I had the kind of relationship a mother could only dream of. We had a special bond. I think back to when he was little and ran a fever, had scrapes and bruises, ER visits, and surgeries; it always broke my heart to see him suffer.

"I remember always saying I wanted to trade places with him and take away the pain. That’s what mom’s do. I tell myself not to go there in my mind, but I can’t help but wonder the sheer terror Nick must have felt being approached by a masked gunman and how long Nick suffered when he was shot. I’m haunted with the fact that I wasn’t there to protect him this time, to comfort him and try to take away the pain. I would have traded places with him. That’s what mom’s do.”

A family photo prior to Nicholas Lewis’death(Photo: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO BY VICTORIA MCGRATH)

'Nick was such a talented and creative chef'

At age 23, he decided to spread his wings and moved to Colorado where his pursuits included hiking, camping, snowboarding and a career as a chef.

Nicholas’ mother, Victoria McGrath has many precious memories.

“Nick was making a name for himself as a chef and I was so proud and happy for him when he cooked at the Governor’s mansion in the summer before he died.

"I’ll never forget him calling me and texting pictures during his breaks. He was beyond excited. Nick was such a talented and creative chef and even taught me a thing or two about cooking.”

He was also primary caretaker for his 8-year-old son while his wife worked days and went to school. “It was a system that worked well for them which allowed Nick some quality parenting time,” said Victoria.

Nicholas Lewis, 33, was randomly shot and killed on October 1, 2016 as he walked to the corner store by Raheem Benson who was subsequently found guilty of murder and sentenced to life with possibility of parole after 40 years (due to his being 16 years old at the time of the crime).

Earlier that day, Benson, along with the driver of the car, Louis Lara-Macias purchased face masks and ammunition, setting out with the intent of robbing and killing someone. Unfortunately they crossed paths with Nicholas, shooting six times point blank at him and hitting him three times. Lara-Macias turned States evidence receiving a sentence of seven years in the Youth Offender System. Benson and Lara-Macias posted photos on social media of their crime spree and later that night went to an amusement park.

Victoria McGrath(Photo: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO BY VICTORIA MCGRATH)

Nicholas Lewis dies

Nicholas Lewis died at 8:30 pm on October 1, 2016

A call no mother wants to receive, Victoria received the news of her son's death and her world shattered.

She struggles to make sense of the tragedy and two years later still can’t sleep due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, stating “My mind never shuts off. I keep replaying this event as it loops through my head. As I’m lying awake in bed every night I wonder what kind of a person does this to another human being? How can this person have such total disregard for human life? The ripple effect of this heinous and senseless act has been tremendous.

"Besides not sleeping, I find myself unable to concentrate, my mind always wanders off. I have a constant pit in my stomach. I worry tremendously about my precious 9-year old grandson who no longer has his loving and devoted dad. Nick won’t be able to watch him grow up, graduate, marry and have children of his own. I think of the loss of innocence that has been inflicted on my little grandson and, my God this breaks my heart.

'I worry constantly ... '

I worry constantly about my other two daughters, Nick’s sisters and how this will, and has impacted them.

"They’ve lost a part of their past, present and future. I mourn that they will never share their life’s milestones, holidays or even mundane daily events. Nick’s closest sister wants to start a family soon.

"Nick will never be a part of that. Nick’s youngest sister lives in fear. She’s too scared to walk the dog in the evening by herself, thinking someone is lurking behind a bush ready to ambush her, like the animals who killed her big brother.

"Not a minute goes by that I don’t think about Nick. Things I haven’t thought about in years have flooded my memory. All I have now are precious memories. I will never be able to hug my first born ever again and take in his scent. This sounds weird but he always smelled so good. I’ll never be able to say, “I love you” again as I did every time we spoke. I’m physically and emotionally drained. My daughters and I now see grief counselors specializing in trauma. I have been diagnosed with PTSD.”

Victoria and Parents of Murdered Children

Seeking a way to help with her grief, Victoria found a group Parents of Murdered Children (POMC) which offers support and information about surviving the loss of a loved one who has been murdered. No stranger to grief, Victoria lost her husband Matt McGrath in a car accident Thanksgiving Day 2012 and says both are unthinkable, but with murder there is so much more anger involved.

“I am so angry at the world, but am finding comfort with this group. POMC has been a lifesaver for me. They let me know I am not crazy in my grief, feelings or anger. It’s been two years and it’s something that I’ll never get over and have to walk through. I never stop thinking about Nick. He’s the first thing I think of when I wake in the morning and the last thought at night. I don’t sleep well which is part of PTSD and when I wake in the middle of the night it’s like a movie loop on replay. After losing Matt and Nick I now just have to put one foot in front of the other one day at a time.”

North county chapter of Parents of Murdered Children

Victoria has begun a north county chapter of Parents of Murdered Children (POMC) and has also become an advocate for victim rights. Thirty-five states have passed a Victims Bill of Rights and “unfortunately Florida is not one of those.

"This Nov. 6, I am strongly urging people to Vote Yes on Amendment 6," she said..

According to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement there were 1057 murders in the state of Florida, with 103 homicides in Palm Beach County.

According to Victoria, “One in five women will be raped in their life and one in three will be abused by an intimate partner - so whether or not you think Amendment 6 is important, statistically you may be a victim and you are going to want to have enforceable victims rights.”

Amendment 6

Amendment 6, aka Marsy’s Law for Florida, “guarantees victims, survivors and their families have true equality and standing in the justice system, including the right:

- to be treated with dignity, respect, courtesy, sensitivity and fairness

- to privacy

- to have identifying information and confidential or privileged records protected

- to reasonable protection from the accused throughout the justice process

- to have standing in court

- to timely notice of any release, escape, or death of the accused, if the accused in custody or under supervision

- to full restitution, assistance collecting it, and to compensation as provided by law

Chef Nick, a couple months before he died. He cooked at the Governor's Mansion in Denver.(Photo: CONTRIBUTED PHOTO BY VICTORIA MCGRATH)

Keeping Nicholas’ legacy alive

By opening this chapter of Parents Of Murdered Children and advocating for victims rights, Victoria is keeping Nicholas’ legacy alive.

“I have a family and need to be there for them and everyone has been so supportive of me that I want to pay it forward. I find it healing to help others going through the same thing.”

For more information on Parents of Murdered Children, visit pomc.org and Marsy’s Law for Florida at yeson6fl.com