Polyamory WeeklySun, 19 May 2019 17:03:02 +0000Sun, 19 May 2019 17:30:42 +0000Libsyn WebEngine 2.0http://www.polyweekly.com
enhttp://www.polyweekly.comcunningminx@gmail.com (cunningminx@gmail.com)http://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/1/e/d/7/1ed716d92fe0bca3/PW_album_art_2013_1400.jpgPolyamory WeeklyMinxcommunication,cunning,minx,nonmonogamy,poly,polyamory,relationshipsyescunningminx@gmail.comepisodic573 Should I live with my metamourShould I live with my metamour?Sun, 19 May 2019 17:03:02 +0000My metamour and I get along great, and I need a roommate. Will it muck things up if I ask them to move in?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

2:10 Poly in the news

9:55 Topic: Should I live with my metamour?

Olipoly writes in about the possibility of living with her metamour; she doesn’t want to live with her partner and gets along with them great. She’s considering asking her metamour to move in to the room that her roommate is moving out of.

Don’t ask us; ask them!

Ask them all the questions you just asked us and think through the possibilities to discover hard limits.

Practice by spending a weekend together.

Treat them professionally, like a client you need to keep happy.

Get a dishwasher.

16:15 Happy Poly Moment

Bunz in Knoxville originally had a negative impression of polyamory. But she and her husband read, talked out it, did exercises, and even started a meetup group in Knoxville!

18:00 Feedback

Mike gives feedback on episode 572 about one person not taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions.

23:35 Thank you!

Welcome Susan to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

23:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Olipoly writes in about the possibility of living with her metamour; she doesn’t want to live with her partner and gets along with them great. She’s considering asking her metamour to move in to the room that her roommate is moving out of.

Don’t ask us; ask them!

Ask them all the questions you just asked us and think through the possibilities to discover hard limits.

Practice by spending a weekend together.

Treat them professionally, like a client you need to keep happy.

Get a dishwasher.

16:15 Happy Poly Moment

Bunz in Knoxville originally had a negative impression of polyamory. But she and her husband read, talked out it, did exercises, and even started a meetup group in Knoxville!

18:00 Feedback

Mike gives feedback on episode 572 about one person not taking responsibility for someone else’s emotions.

23:35 Thank you!

Welcome Susan to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

23:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>24:58yesin,polyamory,poly,living,move,metamour,situationI'm in a polyamorous relationship. My metamour and I get along great, and I need a roommate. Will it muck things up if I ask them to move in? 15573fullCunning Minx572 When your partner's jealousy precludes your polyamoryWhen your partner's jealousy precludes your polyamorySun, 28 Apr 2019 22:54:13 +0000What do you do when your partner gets so jealous that you feel compelled to give up your boyfriend, while your hubby happily dates away?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:25 Poly in the news

3:25 Topic: what do I do when my partner agrees to be poly but gets jealous when I date?

Debby writes in to ask what to do when polyamory doesn’t work for a couple. She and her husband are in their 50s, four years into their second marriage, and did the research before opening up 18 months into their relationship. He was into no-strings-attached sex but got very jealous when Debby would date. She finally had to dump her boyfriend (in a poly marriage of 15 years) due to her husband’s inability to cope with his jealousy. She asks what to do when polyamory doesn’t work for a couple.

We both think it DID work—he liked the sex, and you loved your boyfriend. The question is, does monogamy work for you?

Debby might be confusing behaviors with relationship labels. You’re still having to deal with all the risks and tasks of polyamory—jealousy, scheduling, emotional issues—but you somehow don’t get to date and experience the benefits.

What steps did he take to address his jealousy? It was a mistake to stop giving him the opportunity to practicing his jealousy coping mechanisms.

There must be a middle ground between “I must live half a life” and “we get a divorce.”

Someone else’s emotions require for them to change behaviors, not yours. It’s not for Debby to take responsibility for her husband’s jealousy. His emotions are his and require action from him, not from her. Don’t let your partner’s emotional reactions control your actions.

So now it seems that Debby feels forced to give up a perfectly healthy relationship due to her husband’s inability to deal with his jealousy. If they do revert to monogamy, how will she take steps to avoid resentment?

18:15 Feedback

Katie gives feedback on scheduling from episode 565—no one with kids has that kind of availability!

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Heather wrote in to share when one of her partner's besties said to her about Heather (who is happily married) today, "can't you two just be together forever? She is so perfect for you!" Good validation!

23:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

3:25 Topic: what do I do when my partner agrees to be poly but gets jealous when I date?

Debby writes in to ask what to do when polyamory doesn’t work for a couple. She and her husband are in their 50s, four years into their second marriage, and did the research before opening up 18 months into their relationship. He was into no-strings-attached sex but got very jealous when Debby would date. She finally had to dump her boyfriend (in a poly marriage of 15 years) due to her husband’s inability to cope with his jealousy. She asks what to do when polyamory doesn’t work for a couple.

We both think it DID work—he liked the sex, and you loved your boyfriend. The question is, does monogamy work for you?

Debby might be confusing behaviors with relationship labels. You’re still having to deal with all the risks and tasks of polyamory—jealousy, scheduling, emotional issues—but you somehow don’t get to date and experience the benefits.

What steps did he take to address his jealousy? It was a mistake to stop giving him the opportunity to practicing his jealousy coping mechanisms.

There must be a middle ground between “I must live half a life” and “we get a divorce.”

Someone else’s emotions require for them to change behaviors, not yours. It’s not for Debby to take responsibility for her husband’s jealousy. His emotions are his and require action from him, not from her. Don’t let your partner’s emotional reactions control your actions.

So now it seems that Debby feels forced to give up a perfectly healthy relationship due to her husband’s inability to deal with his jealousy. If they do revert to monogamy, how will she take steps to avoid resentment?

18:15 Feedback

Katie gives feedback on scheduling from episode 565—no one with kids has that kind of availability!

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Heather wrote in to share when one of her partner's besties said to her about Heather (who is happily married) today, "can't you two just be together forever? She is so perfect for you!" Good validation!

23:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>23:52yespolyamory,poly,behavior,jealousy,jealousWhat do you do when your partner gets so jealous that you feel compelled to give up your boyfriend, while your hubby happily dates away? Can you still be poly if your husband's emotions don't enable it?15572fullCunning Minx571 Growing up polyGrowing up polyWed, 17 Apr 2019 03:58:20 +0000On the launch of their new book, Koe Creation shares what it was like growing up in a polyamorous household.

3:00 Poly in the news

5:15 Interview: Koe Creation, author of This Heart Holds Many

We talk about Koe’s new book, This Heart Holds Many, and the challenge of writing a semiautobiographical book about growing up in a poly family. Find them online at their website, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram as @koecreate.

23:00 Happy Poly Moment

Kim writes in to share TWO happy poly moments about her metamour getting married (One Family Podcast)

Olivia writes in to share a Thanksgiving happy poly moment with her asexual partners

26:35 Thank you!

Welcome to our new Poly Weekly Playmates, Chris and Alisha!

27:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

We talk about Koe’s new book, This Heart Holds Many, and the challenge of writing a semiautobiographical book about growing up in a poly family. Find them online at their website, Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram as @koecreate.

23:00 Happy Poly Moment

Kim writes in to share TWO happy poly moments about her metamour getting married (One Family Podcast)

Olivia writes in to share a Thanksgiving happy poly moment with her asexual partners

26:35 Thank you!

Welcome to our new Poly Weekly Playmates, Chris and Alisha!

27:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>27:53yesbooks,polyamory,poly,kids,family,home,authors,creation,childhood,childrearing,koeKoe Creation grew up in a polyamorous home and has just written a new memoir, This Heart Holds Many, answering frequently-asked questions about raising kids in a poly space.15571fullCunning Minx570 Poly eroticaPoly eroticaThu, 04 Apr 2019 03:47:05 +0000We chat with Laura Zielinsky, author of a new poly erotic novel

3:30 Interview: Laura Zielinsky, author of We Are Three

Book summary: Eric and Elena Tanner have been enjoying their lifestyle membership at the Club Caliente for years. Swinging fulfills their desire to meet new people and engage in group sex.

When the new bartender, Jess, flirts with them and agrees to play in a threesome, Eric and Elena make plans for a single night of pleasure. All three are satisfied, so Jess is invited to come again. And again.

For months Elena, Jess, and Eric meet up for lots of sex, and dinners. There are casual nights in Netflix and chilling. It's heady, addictive and no one wants it to end.

However, they all know that's the deal in the lifestyle. Swingers move out of each other's lives all the time. Complication is the enemy. So what happens when they start to fall in love?

18:25 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Book summary: Eric and Elena Tanner have been enjoying their lifestyle membership at the Club Caliente for years. Swinging fulfills their desire to meet new people and engage in group sex.

When the new bartender, Jess, flirts with them and agrees to play in a threesome, Eric and Elena make plans for a single night of pleasure. All three are satisfied, so Jess is invited to come again. And again.

For months Elena, Jess, and Eric meet up for lots of sex, and dinners. There are casual nights in Netflix and chilling. It's heady, addictive and no one wants it to end.

However, they all know that's the deal in the lifestyle. Swingers move out of each other's lives all the time. Complication is the enemy. So what happens when they start to fall in love?

18:25 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>19:29yesfiction,books,reading,polyamory,poly,erotica,author,laura,zielinskyWe chat with Laura Zielinsky, author of a new poly erotic novel, We Are Three. 15570fullCunning Minx569 Building open relationships with Dr. Liz PowellBuilding open relationships with Dr. Liz PowellMon, 18 Mar 2019 03:35:31 +0000Sex therapist Dr. Liz Powell rejoins us to talk about how she became a sex therapist and why she wrote her new book, Building Open Relationships.

1:15 Host chat

2:45 Poly in the news

7:35 Interview: Building open relationships with Dr. Liz Powell

Dr. Liz Powell shares how and why she got into sex therapy, including her stint and internship in the army dealing with combat stress and families, moonlighting in private practice in Savannah, GA serving the LGBTQIA community, and continuing to do sex therapy work afterwards.

Misconceptions about sex therapy: it’s not all about the sex. It’s about the relationship people have with their own bodies, with their partners, and to the stories of sexuality and pleasure. Many therapists only get two days of training on sexuality issues, if at all.

What is the most common communication issue that you see? Expectations of mind-reading and letting things go unsaid rather than communicating your wants and needs openly and honestly.

Why Building Open Relationships? It’s less about theory and more nuts and bolts of how to make a relationship successful with full respect for individual autonomy and consent. For example, think about how your message will land or be perceived rather than just the way you want to say it.

31:50 Happy poly moment

Geoff and Sylvie share happy poly moments.

34:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Dr. Liz Powell shares how and why she got into sex therapy, including her stint and internship in the army dealing with combat stress and families, moonlighting in private practice in Savannah, GA serving the LGBTQIA community, and continuing to do sex therapy work afterwards.

Misconceptions about sex therapy: it’s not all about the sex. It’s about the relationship people have with their own bodies, with their partners, and to the stories of sexuality and pleasure. Many therapists only get two days of training on sexuality issues, if at all.

What is the most common communication issue that you see? Expectations of mind-reading and letting things go unsaid rather than communicating your wants and needs openly and honestly.

Why Building Open Relationships? It’s less about theory and more nuts and bolts of how to make a relationship successful with full respect for individual autonomy and consent. For example, think about how your message will land or be perceived rather than just the way you want to say it.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>35:31yesbooks,open,building,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,relationships,dr,liz,powellSex therapist Dr. Liz Powell rejoins us to talk about how she became a sex therapist and why she wrote her new book, Building Open Relationships. We talk about sex therapy, polyamory, and of course, communication.15569fullCunning Minx568 A framework for consentA framework for consentSun, 03 Mar 2019 23:36:41 +0000Joseph Pred shares the Consent Framework, a tool for community organizers to get and enforce consent at events.

11:30 Interview: consent framework with Joseph Pred

32:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>34:18yespolyamory,poly,npr,events,joseph,framework,consent,organizers,predJoseph Pred shares the Consent Framework, a tool for community organizers to get and enforce consent at events. Plus, polyamory in the news, including on NPR!15568fullCunning Minx567 Do families have to live togetherDo families have to live together?Sat, 16 Feb 2019 23:18:53 +0000Do families have to live together? My partners and I agreed to live together and have kids, but now I'm not so sure.

5:45 Poly in the news

8:00 Topic: Do families need to live together?

Lewis has a male partner and a woman partner, Sally, and the three of them have discussed living together as a family and fathering kids with Sally. However, Lewis says their communication has not been great and their relationship was pretty dysfunctional until recently. He also values his own space and privacy. Is it OK to father kids if you don’t intend to live together as a family?

Good instinct to get counseling when the relationship isn’t already pretty healthy

You decide what’s good for you, not what’s good for anyone else

17:30 Feedback

A listener calls in to ask how to find poly folks rural Pennsylvania.

22:45 Happy Poly Moment

Danielle shares a snow day happy poly moment.

Lusty Guy shares a surprise happy poly moment!

25:30 Thank you

Thanks to Shelly for the donation, and welcome Laurel and Terra to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Lewis has a male partner and a woman partner, Sally, and the three of them have discussed living together as a family and fathering kids with Sally. However, Lewis says their communication has not been great and their relationship was pretty dysfunctional until recently. He also values his own space and privacy. Is it OK to father kids if you don’t intend to live together as a family?

Good instinct to get counseling when the relationship isn’t already pretty healthy

You decide what’s good for you, not what’s good for anyone else

17:30 Feedback

A listener calls in to ask how to find poly folks rural Pennsylvania.

22:45 Happy Poly Moment

Danielle shares a snow day happy poly moment.

Lusty Guy shares a surprise happy poly moment!

25:30 Thank you

Thanks to Shelly for the donation, and welcome Laurel and Terra to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>26:54yeshouse,in,polyamory,poly,kids,living,family,children,together,movingMy partners and I agreed to live together and have kids, but now I'm not so sure. Our poly relationship isn't that solid, and I like my space. Do nonmonogamous families have to live together?
15567fullCunning Minx566 Toxic masculinityToxic masculinityMon, 17 Dec 2018 02:02:30 +0000Kevin Patterson, Chris Smith, Lusty Guy, and Minx discuss what we mean by "toxic masculinity" and how we should respond to both the term and the thing itself.

What is toxic masculinity? Setting absolutes on how gender can present and act. What makes it toxic? Anything in too great a quantity can be toxic. How toxic masculinity really relates to sports: if emotions are so key to teamwork, how can masculinity?

What do we want “masculine” to be? It’s not inherent. Why is there a negative reaction to the idea of “toxic masculinity,” as in any other instance where too much of something is toxic? First response should be to do a self-assessment.

How does this relate to polyamory? We need to beware of harem fantasies driving all the media representation of polyamory and of societal scripts of jealousy meaning love and other men being enemies. Everyone’s a little bit toxic.

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

What is toxic masculinity? Setting absolutes on how gender can present and act. What makes it toxic? Anything in too great a quantity can be toxic. How toxic masculinity really relates to sports: if emotions are so key to teamwork, how can masculinity?

What do we want “masculine” to be? It’s not inherent. Why is there a negative reaction to the idea of “toxic masculinity,” as in any other instance where too much of something is toxic? First response should be to do a self-assessment.

How does this relate to polyamory? We need to beware of harem fantasies driving all the media representation of polyamory and of societal scripts of jealousy meaning love and other men being enemies. Everyone’s a little bit toxic.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>33:53yeskevin,chris,guy,polyamory,smith,minx,toxic,lusty,patterson,masculinity,masculineKevin Patterson, Chris Smith, Lusty Guy, and Minx discuss what we mean by "toxic masculinity" and how we should respond to both the term and the thing itself as well as how it relates to polyamory.14566fullCunning Minx565 Help! I'm polysaturated!Help! I'm polysaturated!Tue, 13 Nov 2018 22:43:10 +0000What do you do when your long-distance partners move into town, and you find yourself with too many partners and too little time?

2:30 Topic: Help! I’m polysaturated!

Paul writes in as a relative poly newbie who finds himself with more local partners than he can manage. We advise that it’s OK (and in fact, usually required!) to take time for yourself and love yourself first, figure out how you would ideally spend your time (putting your own needs first), and then share that information with your partners to see if that meets their needs and let them decide if they can live with that.

12:45 Happy poly moment

Heath Schechinger writes in to share a happy poly moment about bringing up relationship orientation as part of the intake process at his clinic.

Jim shares a fun story about his teenage son feeling comfortable enough to ask for personal lubricant—and to ask for his mom’s boyfriend to come by (and no, those two things aren’t related!)

16:30 Thank you!

Welcome Abraham, Jim, and Eric as our newest Poly Weekly Playmates!

16:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Paul writes in as a relative poly newbie who finds himself with more local partners than he can manage. We advise that it’s OK (and in fact, usually required!) to take time for yourself and love yourself first, figure out how you would ideally spend your time (putting your own needs first), and then share that information with your partners to see if that meets their needs and let them decide if they can live with that.

12:45 Happy poly moment

Heath Schechinger writes in to share a happy poly moment about bringing up relationship orientation as part of the intake process at his clinic.

Jim shares a fun story about his teenage son feeling comfortable enough to ask for personal lubricant—and to ask for his mom’s boyfriend to come by (and no, those two things aren’t related!)

16:30 Thank you!

Welcome Abraham, Jim, and Eric as our newest Poly Weekly Playmates!

16:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>17:47yestime,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,management,not,partners,many,too,enough,polysaturatedWhat do you do when your long-distance partners move into town, and you find yourself with too many poly partners and too little time? Do you break up with some of them? Minx and Lusty Guy give advice on putting yourself first and on respecting others' agency when your polycule becomes unwieldy.14565fullCunning Minx564 Poly-friendly parentage lawPoly-friendly parentage lawMon, 05 Nov 2018 00:06:20 +0000Lawyer Melissa Hall shares exciting news about the new parentage act being enacted in Washington state and hopefully, beyond.

9:30 Poly in the news

10:30 Interview: Melissa Hall on new, poly-friendly parentage laws in the U.S.

Melissa Hall shares updates to parentage laws in Washington state and adoptable throughout the U.S. The Parentage Act makes possible third-parent adoptions and establishes rules for de facto parentage. This enables third- (or fourth!)-parent adoptions. “Uniform law” means they’ll push to enact in all 50 states.

New definitions of de facto parenting mean that the court can recognize people as parents when both the adult and kid see the kid as a parent, even if they aren’t a legal parent. Find Melissa on Twitter at @vrimj, online at www.Smol-law.com or via email at Melissa@smollaw.com.

24:15 Feedback

Alana writes in about episode 560 Poly and pregnant, saying that they had to revert to monogamy during her pregnancy due to hormones, stress, and the insecurities that surfaced.

26:15 Happy poly moment

Louise in the U.K. writes in to share a story of going from being lonely and polyunsaturated to being in the middle of a long squiggly polycule and full of NRE.

28:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

10:30 Interview: Melissa Hall on new, poly-friendly parentage laws in the U.S.

Melissa Hall shares updates to parentage laws in Washington state and adoptable throughout the U.S. The Parentage Act makes possible third-parent adoptions and establishes rules for de facto parentage. This enables third- (or fourth!)-parent adoptions. “Uniform law” means they’ll push to enact in all 50 states.

New definitions of de facto parenting mean that the court can recognize people as parents when both the adult and kid see the kid as a parent, even if they aren’t a legal parent. Find Melissa on Twitter at @vrimj, online at www.Smol-law.com or via email at Melissa@smollaw.com.

24:15 Feedback

Alana writes in about episode 560 Poly and pregnant, saying that they had to revert to monogamy during her pregnancy due to hormones, stress, and the insecurities that surfaced.

26:15 Happy poly moment

Louise in the U.K. writes in to share a story of going from being lonely and polyunsaturated to being in the middle of a long squiggly polycule and full of NRE.

28:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>29:20yesde,polyamory,poly,family,adoption,law,lawyer,parent,legal,facto,parentageLawyer Melissa Hall shares exciting news about the new poly-friendly parentage act being enacted in Washington state. It enables a third or fourth parent for third-party adoptions and defines "de facto parent" for adults who have acted as and whom the child recognizes as a parent. And this is a uniform law, meaning it's intended to be adoptable as law in all 50 U.S. states. While it's intended to benefit the GLBTQIA community, it holds definite benefits for poly families and polycules as well.
14564fullCunning Minx563 A queer, poly superhero novel centering people of color? Yes, please!A queer, poly superhero novel centering people of color? Yes, please!Mon, 15 Oct 2018 01:52:13 +0000Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan have come out with a new superhero novel in which queerness, polyamory, and people of color are normalized.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Poly Big Fun, an annual workshop and retreat for people who identify as polyamorous, will take place virtually on November 10th, 2018. Franklin Veaux will be presenting “My abuser is Woke: Recognizing abuse when an abuser is skilled in the language of social justice.” Joreth Innkeeper will be presenting “Breaking up in the poly community.” Visit www.polybigfun.com to register and find out more.

3:00 Interview: a poly superhero fiction work

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan give us a taste of their new book, a superhero novel in centered on queer, poly people of color. Finally, a love triangle in which the existence of the triangle isn’t the source of conflict! In this world, “operators” are the dirtier, heroes-for-hire in a world where law-abiding superheroes get all the press. What happens when a superhero and an operator are in a relationship?

27:30 Thanks

Thanks to Miryam for becoming our latest PW Playmate!

27:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Poly Big Fun, an annual workshop and retreat for people who identify as polyamorous, will take place virtually on November 10th, 2018. Franklin Veaux will be presenting “My abuser is Woke: Recognizing abuse when an abuser is skilled in the language of social justice.” Joreth Innkeeper will be presenting “Breaking up in the poly community.” Visit www.polybigfun.com to register and find out more.

3:00 Interview: a poly superhero fiction work

Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan give us a taste of their new book, a superhero novel in centered on queer, poly people of color. Finally, a love triangle in which the existence of the triangle isn’t the source of conflict! In this world, “operators” are the dirtier, heroes-for-hire in a world where law-abiding superheroes get all the press. What happens when a superhero and an operator are in a relationship?

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>28:45yesfiction,kevin,novel,polyamory,poly,superhero,book,queer,patterson,alana,phelanKevin Patterson and Alana Phelan have come out with a new superhero novel in which queerness, polyamory, and people of color are normalized.14563fullCunning Minx562 Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?Where do my ethics stop and my partner's begin?Sun, 30 Sep 2018 13:00:00 +0000If my partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without her partner's explicit consent, how to I object without imposing my ethics on my partner?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Kate calls is uncomfortable with her partner’s new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner, and Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate’s partner and the POI’s relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI’s relationship agreement with her mono partner.

We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don’t think it’s a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.

Having meeting that doesn’t include the POI’s partner is duplicitous (or “skeevy”, as Minx calls it)

Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else’s relationship agreement?

You can’t tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI’s partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.

15:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Kate calls is uncomfortable with her partner’s new person of interest (POI), who is a lifetime friend and in a monogamous relationship. The POI says she is bringing up poly with her partner, and Kate, her partner, and the POI are currently negotiating physical contact for an upcoming meeting to discuss Kate’s partner and the POI’s relationship. Kate is worried about violating the POI’s relationship agreement with her mono partner.

We both see this essentially as cheating, and we don’t think it’s a good idea for your partner to ask you to watch him cheat.

Having meeting that doesn’t include the POI’s partner is duplicitous (or “skeevy”, as Minx calls it)

Can you trust a partner who is willing to violate someone else’s relationship agreement?

You can’t tell a grown-ass adult what to do, but you can control your own behavior. You can choose not to participate in the meeting, to insist on talking to the POI’s partner before the meeting to ensure transparency and consent, or you can choose to leave your existing relationship.

15:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>17:13yespolyamory,poly,ethics,agency,monogamy,consent,monogamousListener Kate asks if her partner wants to date a long-time monogamous friend without that friend's monogamous partner's explicit consent, how does Kate object without imposing her poly ethics on her partner?14562fullCunning Minx561 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:00:00 +0000If our relationship is healthy, and I want more sex and to explore my bisexuality, will poly work for us?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

What’s been going on with Minx, why we went on an unexpected hiatus (physical therapy for osteoarthritis).

We’re leaving for a 10-day vacation in Paris!

And we’ll be in Hawaii in January

9:30 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?

Bryan is a bisexual man in Germany who loves his healthy relationship with his girlfriend of four years, except for one thing—he wants sex daily; she wants sex once a month. Can poly work for their sexual mismatch of their otherwise healthy relationship?

Yes, it can, if your relationship is otherwise healthy.

Unless what you really want is not more sex but more sex with your girlfriend--that won’t work.

Keep aware that even if you say you just want sex and no love/relationship—life doesn’t work like that.

Consider sex workers if you really just want more sex with no danger of anyone falling in love with anyone else. German FKK clubs are wonderful.

If you decide sex workers aren’t for you, take some time to discuss what you’re afraid of. Explore these discussions over time and while you’re in different moods, over weeks or even months.

Do your research, find more books to read. Find your community.

22:30 Happy Poly Moment

R shares a cookie-baking happy poly moment.

25:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

What’s been going on with Minx, why we went on an unexpected hiatus (physical therapy for osteoarthritis).

We’re leaving for a 10-day vacation in Paris!

And we’ll be in Hawaii in January

9:30 Can poly work for a sexual mismatch?

Bryan is a bisexual man in Germany who loves his healthy relationship with his girlfriend of four years, except for one thing—he wants sex daily; she wants sex once a month. Can poly work for their sexual mismatch of their otherwise healthy relationship?

Yes, it can, if your relationship is otherwise healthy.

Unless what you really want is not more sex but more sex with your girlfriend--that won’t work.

Keep aware that even if you say you just want sex and no love/relationship—life doesn’t work like that.

Consider sex workers if you really just want more sex with no danger of anyone falling in love with anyone else. German FKK clubs are wonderful.

If you decide sex workers aren’t for you, take some time to discuss what you’re afraid of. Explore these discussions over time and while you’re in different moods, over weeks or even months.

Do your research, find more books to read. Find your community.

22:30 Happy Poly Moment

R shares a cookie-baking happy poly moment.

25:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>27:47yespolyamory,poly,sexuality,sex,sexual,bisexuality,swinging,mismatchA listener from Germany calls in to ask if his relationship with his girlfriend is healthy except he wants sex more often and to explore his bisexuality, will poly work for them?14561fullCunning Minx560 Poly and pregnantPoly and pregnantMon, 17 Sep 2018 01:22:36 +0000Chloé is pregnant and now feeling possessive of her husband. Should she ask her metamour to find someone else to date so she's not so in love with Chloé's husband?

Chloé and her husband each have a long-distance relationship outside their own, which they see a few times a year. She is now pregnant and feeling more territorial about her husband. She’s finding she wants her metamour not to be so in love with Chloé’s husband and to find her “own” primary.

Your feelings won’t change if your metamour finds someone else, because they are YOUR feelings. Your insecurity is yours to own and manage.

Phone, video, or in-person are the best media for relationship conversations.

22:30 Feedback

Friggin Limey wrote a response to episode 558 on deciding when to give up on poly. He has given up on poly and decided that monogamy is what he needs.

24:30 Happy Poly Moment

Kimberly writes in with a happy poly moment about her partner moving in with the family! She also asks about when and how to come out at work with her new job—should she bring her poly family to the “bring your family” event occurring before she starts?

31:15 Thank you!

Welcome to Matthew and Jeff as new Poly Weekly Playmates!

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Chloé and her husband each have a long-distance relationship outside their own, which they see a few times a year. She is now pregnant and feeling more territorial about her husband. She’s finding she wants her metamour not to be so in love with Chloé’s husband and to find her “own” primary.

Your feelings won’t change if your metamour finds someone else, because they are YOUR feelings. Your insecurity is yours to own and manage.

Phone, video, or in-person are the best media for relationship conversations.

22:30 Feedback

Friggin Limey wrote a response to episode 558 on deciding when to give up on poly. He has given up on poly and decided that monogamy is what he needs.

24:30 Happy Poly Moment

Kimberly writes in with a happy poly moment about her partner moving in with the family! She also asks about when and how to come out at work with her new job—should she bring her poly family to the “bring your family” event occurring before she starts?

31:15 Thank you!

Welcome to Matthew and Jeff as new Poly Weekly Playmates!

32:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>32:56yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,kids,family,children,pregnantChloé is pregnant and now feeling possessive of her husband. Is it OK to ask her metamour to find someone else to date so the metamour is not so in love with Chloé's husband?14560fullCunning Minx559 My partners are making life decisions without meMy partners are making life decisions without meWed, 01 Aug 2018 03:37:35 +0000How to cope when your partners buy a house and consider adopting a teenager with little to no input from you.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Listen to episode 558 to find out more about our sex-positive panel at Miss Fisher Con 2018 and more about the event itself.

2:00 My partners are making life decisions without me

A listener wrote in to ask what to do. He is a queer male in a quad. Seven years ago, he and his partner T moved to be in the same city as W and E. They had talked off and on about cohabitation, and recently W and E decided to get a bigger house that would accommodate the four of them. W and E decided on budget and location and showed their final choice to our letter writer and his partner, which left him feeling excluded from the decision-making process. Later on, he asked about some jokes W and E were making, and it turns out they were considering adopting a teenager, which until recently would have been a deal-breaker for him. He shut down and curled into a ball. He wants to confront them, but he fears losing the relationship.

It’s helpful not to think of this as a confrontation but instead a transparency session where everyone gets to say what they think and feel in a safe space.

Focus on behaviors, not on assumptions about what those behaviors might mean. When you were bothered by your perception that W and E thought that the final home tour would be sufficient, own that you are talking about perceptions instead of actual communication.

Own your own sh*t and ask for what you want. You never indicated that you actually told them how and when or even that you wanted to be involved in the home-buying process—it’s your job to ask for that participation in so many words.

Assume goodwill all around. If you haven’t specified what you want, it’s best to assume others’ intentions are good.

This is a great time to begin the habit of full disclosure. Communicate early and often. State expectations expressly instead of keeping them to yourself.

16:30 Happy Poly Moment

Alan writes in about trying poly because his wife wanted to date an old college boyfriend. He found a special friend at a poly event and they spent a lovely weekend together during which he got to meet his metamours and had a fun poly family experience.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

Listen to episode 558 to find out more about our sex-positive panel at Miss Fisher Con 2018 and more about the event itself.

2:00 My partners are making life decisions without me

A listener wrote in to ask what to do. He is a queer male in a quad. Seven years ago, he and his partner T moved to be in the same city as W and E. They had talked off and on about cohabitation, and recently W and E decided to get a bigger house that would accommodate the four of them. W and E decided on budget and location and showed their final choice to our letter writer and his partner, which left him feeling excluded from the decision-making process. Later on, he asked about some jokes W and E were making, and it turns out they were considering adopting a teenager, which until recently would have been a deal-breaker for him. He shut down and curled into a ball. He wants to confront them, but he fears losing the relationship.

It’s helpful not to think of this as a confrontation but instead a transparency session where everyone gets to say what they think and feel in a safe space.

Focus on behaviors, not on assumptions about what those behaviors might mean. When you were bothered by your perception that W and E thought that the final home tour would be sufficient, own that you are talking about perceptions instead of actual communication.

Own your own sh*t and ask for what you want. You never indicated that you actually told them how and when or even that you wanted to be involved in the home-buying process—it’s your job to ask for that participation in so many words.

Assume goodwill all around. If you haven’t specified what you want, it’s best to assume others’ intentions are good.

This is a great time to begin the habit of full disclosure. Communicate early and often. State expectations expressly instead of keeping them to yourself.

16:30 Happy Poly Moment

Alan writes in about trying poly because his wife wanted to date an old college boyfriend. He found a special friend at a poly event and they spent a lovely weekend together during which he got to meet his metamours and had a fun poly family experience.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. If you want us to teach a class at your event, want us to coach you, or want to appear on the podcast, email lustyguy@polyweekly.com.

]]>20:19yeshouse,polyamory,poly,adoption,children,deal,purchase,buying,breakerA queer man writes in to ask how to cope when his partners buy a house and consider adopting a teenager with little to no input from him and his partner. Lusty Guy and Minx give advice on how to communicate your needs and wants and to assume goodwill all around.14559fullCunning Minx558 When to give up on polyamoryWhen to give up on polyamorySun, 15 Jul 2018 23:52:42 +0000Allison Moon cohosts this episode offering advice to a listener who wants to know when to give up on polyamory that is making everyone unhappy.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Allison, Liz Powell, Bianca and I did a fun panel on sex-positivity at Miss Fisher Con 2018! We had such a fantastic time and learned a lot. So grateful for that opportunity, and we learned a lot! You should sign up for next year’s mailing list!

A listener wrote in to ask when to give up on polyamory. They had been married for 10 years and opened up because they both liked the idea; they read all the books; already made all the mistakes; wrote their user manuals; and they both love the idea. But they have yet to feel compersion and now often go to bed sobbing or angry, and the husband is going through depressive episodes. When do you give up on polyamory?

In general, if a relationship structure isn’t making you a happier and healthier version of yourself, it’s OK to go back to one that is

If your reason for trying polyamory isn’t extremely compelling, maybe it isn’t right for you—don’t try to force something that feels wrong to you

How are you measuring success? Consider measuring success by lessons learned or happiness rather than by ability to “get” a partner or by the absence of jealousy.

All the emotions you feel are OK. Quit judging yourself for having emotions and instead use them to increase your self knowledge. Try the And then what

Ignore the “sunk costs” fallacy—everything you’ve done so far will make you better at any relationship, so don’t continue only because you feel you’ve invested so much in poly. You’ve invested that in YOU!

Allison, Liz Powell, Bianca and I did a fun panel on sex-positivity at Miss Fisher Con 2018! We had such a fantastic time and learned a lot. So grateful for that opportunity, and we learned a lot! You should sign up for next year’s mailing list!

A listener wrote in to ask when to give up on polyamory. They had been married for 10 years and opened up because they both liked the idea; they read all the books; already made all the mistakes; wrote their user manuals; and they both love the idea. But they have yet to feel compersion and now often go to bed sobbing or angry, and the husband is going through depressive episodes. When do you give up on polyamory?

In general, if a relationship structure isn’t making you a happier and healthier version of yourself, it’s OK to go back to one that is

If your reason for trying polyamory isn’t extremely compelling, maybe it isn’t right for you—don’t try to force something that feels wrong to you

How are you measuring success? Consider measuring success by lessons learned or happiness rather than by ability to “get” a partner or by the absence of jealousy.

All the emotions you feel are OK. Quit judging yourself for having emotions and instead use them to increase your self knowledge. Try the And then what

Ignore the “sunk costs” fallacy—everything you’ve done so far will make you better at any relationship, so don’t continue only because you feel you’ve invested so much in poly. You’ve invested that in YOU!

]]>26:48yesgive,up,miss,polyamory,poly,not,working,moon,con,fisher,allisonSex educator and author Allison Moon cohosts this episode offering advice to a listener who wants to know when to give up on polyamory that is making everyone involved unhappy.14558fullCunning Minx557 The Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious SlutThe Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious SlutFri, 22 Jun 2018 02:13:50 +0000We chat with Kat Stark, blogger, podcaster, and author of Yelling in Pasties: the Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut

0:00 Introduction and host chat

Episode 555 intro music has been fixed—thanks to those who wrote in to let me know of the error

Thank you to everyone who bought our books—we’re coming to Paris this fall, thanks to your purchases!

Come to the Life on the Swingset LGBTQIA+ takeover of the Desire Resort Riviera Maya in Cancún, Mexico! There will be live nude karaoke, demos of pegging, fisting, and flogging, speed dating, orgies and gang bangs and more! Find out more at com

5:45 Interview: Kat Stark

Kat Stark is a blogger and sex toy reviewer for OnTheWetCoast.com, they co-host the On The Wet Coast podcast, and have lent their voice as audiobook narrator for Cooper Beckett’s novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity. They are a genderqueer, sex-positive, geeky, non-monogamous, Canadian, queer, bisexual, deviant, slutty, feminist pervert.

Episode 555 intro music has been fixed—thanks to those who wrote in to let me know of the error

Thank you to everyone who bought our books—we’re coming to Paris this fall, thanks to your purchases!

Come to the Life on the Swingset LGBTQIA+ takeover of the Desire Resort Riviera Maya in Cancún, Mexico! There will be live nude karaoke, demos of pegging, fisting, and flogging, speed dating, orgies and gang bangs and more! Find out more at com

5:45 Interview: Kat Stark

Kat Stark is a blogger and sex toy reviewer for OnTheWetCoast.com, they co-host the On The Wet Coast podcast, and have lent their voice as audiobook narrator for Cooper Beckett’s novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity. They are a genderqueer, sex-positive, geeky, non-monogamous, Canadian, queer, bisexual, deviant, slutty, feminist pervert.

]]>32:24yespolyamory,poly,age,book,coast,middle,wet,kat,author,slut,confessions,anxious,starkWe chat with Kat Stark, blogger, podcaster, and author of the new book, Yelling in Pasties: the Wet Coast Confessions of an Anxious Slut, about what it's like to discover polyamory, question one's gender identity, and deal with anxiety and depression in one's mid-40s.14557fullCunning Minx556 Are shared calendars enough?Are shared calendars enough?Tue, 29 May 2018 02:31:23 +0000A listener writes in to ask why she was surprised with her partner's dating someone else, even with shared calendars.

A listener is in a closed triad of eight months, joining a married couple (D and Y) of eight years in everyone’s first poly relationship. They only started sharing calendars two weeks ago, and our listener saw a date night on their shared calendar on our listener’s regular Friday date night. It turns out it was a couple D and Y had met previously, decided to have drinks with, and decided not to invite our listener. Our listener felt surprised and wanted to know how to handle scheduling with multiple partners.

It’s not unusual to feel bad about having someone else’s date night sprung on them as a surprise. Calendars are no substitute for communication.

Since you just started sharing calendars, let’s assume goodwill all around and chalk it up to a communication glitch. D and Y might just have fallen into their old couple communications patterns. Minx has had a hard time breaking her solo-poly decision-making patterns, so let’s take this as an opportunity to address a habit that might need to change.

Never assume; always ask.

If you want a standing date night, ask for it explicitly and ask for how you want it changed when changes are necessary.

Calendar changes are great opportunities to do relationship check-ins to see how everyone is feeling about the current relationships.

A listener is in a closed triad of eight months, joining a married couple (D and Y) of eight years in everyone’s first poly relationship. They only started sharing calendars two weeks ago, and our listener saw a date night on their shared calendar on our listener’s regular Friday date night. It turns out it was a couple D and Y had met previously, decided to have drinks with, and decided not to invite our listener. Our listener felt surprised and wanted to know how to handle scheduling with multiple partners.

It’s not unusual to feel bad about having someone else’s date night sprung on them as a surprise. Calendars are no substitute for communication.

Since you just started sharing calendars, let’s assume goodwill all around and chalk it up to a communication glitch. D and Y might just have fallen into their old couple communications patterns. Minx has had a hard time breaking her solo-poly decision-making patterns, so let’s take this as an opportunity to address a habit that might need to change.

Never assume; always ask.

If you want a standing date night, ask for it explicitly and ask for how you want it changed when changes are necessary.

Calendar changes are great opportunities to do relationship check-ins to see how everyone is feeling about the current relationships.

]]>17:18yescalendar,communication,google,polyamory,poly,shared,triadA listener who is in her first poly triad writes in to ask about shared calendars after her married partners surprised her by setting a date with another couple, despite their being in a closed triad. Are shared calendars a substitute for communication in polyamory?14556fullCunning Minx555 How to weed out the jerksHow to weed out the jerksMon, 14 May 2018 02:47:37 +0000A listener writes in to ask how to weed out the jerks when dating.

Heather writes in to ask whether she should leave “poly” off her dating profile, since the last few guys either dumped her for someone else or might have been lying about being divorced. How does one weed out the creeps when dating?

Define what polyamory means to you and state specifically how you practice it

Try putting in a “test”—link to your user manual and ask a question from it to weed out anyone who hasn’t read it. Or put in a quote from your favorite movie and request that respondents put the title of the movie as their message subject—that way, you can see immediately if they took enough time to read directions or not.

Set dating goals that are independent of other people’s actions, such as “go on five dates this month” or “meet with my friend to sift through messages together” or “spend one night a week on self-care”

Heather writes in to ask whether she should leave “poly” off her dating profile, since the last few guys either dumped her for someone else or might have been lying about being divorced. How does one weed out the creeps when dating?

Define what polyamory means to you and state specifically how you practice it

Try putting in a “test”—link to your user manual and ask a question from it to weed out anyone who hasn’t read it. Or put in a quote from your favorite movie and request that respondents put the title of the movie as their message subject—that way, you can see immediately if they took enough time to read directions or not.

Set dating goals that are independent of other people’s actions, such as “go on five dates this month” or “meet with my friend to sift through messages together” or “spend one night a week on self-care”

]]>17:34yesonline,dating,date,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,okcupidListener Heather writes in to ask how to weed out the jerks and cheaters when dating. Should she remove "polyamorous" from her dating profile? Minx gives advice on poly dating.
14555fullCunning Minx554 Grief and loss in relationshipsDealing with loss and grief in relationshipsMon, 07 May 2018 00:25:52 +0000Dr. Liz Powell shares advice on dealing with grief and loss in relationships

Dr. Liz Powell shares insights from her class at RelateCon on dealing with grief and loss in relationships, both in terms of death and of breakups. Find out more about her, her work, and her upcoming book at SexPositivePsych.com and BuildingOpenRelationships.com

Dr. Liz Powell shares insights from her class at RelateCon on dealing with grief and loss in relationships, both in terms of death and of breakups. Find out more about her, her work, and her upcoming book at SexPositivePsych.com and BuildingOpenRelationships.com

]]>35:31yesloss,death,polyamory,poly,breakup,breakups,liz,grief,powellDr. Liz Powell shares advice on dealing with grief and loss in relationships, both in terms of the death of a partner or metamour and in the breakup of one or more of your polyamorous relationships.14554fullCunning Minx553 What if my metamour won't meet me?What if my metamour won't meet met?Sun, 22 Apr 2018 22:30:30 +0000What if my metamour won't meet me? My metamour asked my partner to uninvite me to an event he'd invited me to to avoid meeting me, and now I feel displaced.

Nick from New Orleans wants to meet his metamours, but his partner’s lovers don’t want to meet him, and she would typically break up with them before he got the chance.

Figure out your own personal boundaries and how important it is to you.

With the understanding that you can’t force anyone to meet you, express your needs and personal boundaries/limits around meeting metamours to your partner. Give her the chance to know your needs, which she can then communicate BEFORE she starts dating someone instead of after.

Rose is a straight cis woman with two partners, one local, and one, Greg, who lives a few hours away. His other partner Alice is monogamous, out-of-state, only tolerates Rose’s existence, and refuses to meet Rose until Rose and Greg break up. Greg recently invited Rose to an event, and Alice asked him to un-invite her so that Alice could enjoy the event with Greg.

Relationship Bill of Rights. You can say “no” to the request, perhaps with a counter-offer that you take this event, and she takes the next one. Begin negotiations. You have the right to seek compromise.

You have an equal say in what your relationship with Greg will look like. Same for your relationship with Alice. And you have a right not to be treated as subordinate to anyone else in the relationship.

It’s important to discuss behaviors (Greg’s uninviting you) and the emotions you feel around that, but resist the urge to assume motivations behind Alice’s behavior.

Having the hinge of the vee do all the communication with the edges of the vee is problematic. Every play “telephone”? Open communication will prevent a lot of drama.

24:00 Feedback

Anonymous asks if women experience a post-coital bliss state similar to that following male orgasm after a squirting orgasm.

Nick from New Orleans wants to meet his metamours, but his partner’s lovers don’t want to meet him, and she would typically break up with them before he got the chance.

Figure out your own personal boundaries and how important it is to you.

With the understanding that you can’t force anyone to meet you, express your needs and personal boundaries/limits around meeting metamours to your partner. Give her the chance to know your needs, which she can then communicate BEFORE she starts dating someone instead of after.

Rose is a straight cis woman with two partners, one local, and one, Greg, who lives a few hours away. His other partner Alice is monogamous, out-of-state, only tolerates Rose’s existence, and refuses to meet Rose until Rose and Greg break up. Greg recently invited Rose to an event, and Alice asked him to un-invite her so that Alice could enjoy the event with Greg.

Relationship Bill of Rights. You can say “no” to the request, perhaps with a counter-offer that you take this event, and she takes the next one. Begin negotiations. You have the right to seek compromise.

You have an equal say in what your relationship with Greg will look like. Same for your relationship with Alice. And you have a right not to be treated as subordinate to anyone else in the relationship.

It’s important to discuss behaviors (Greg’s uninviting you) and the emotions you feel around that, but resist the urge to assume motivations behind Alice’s behavior.

Having the hinge of the vee do all the communication with the edges of the vee is problematic. Every play “telephone”? Open communication will prevent a lot of drama.

24:00 Feedback

Anonymous asks if women experience a post-coital bliss state similar to that following male orgasm after a squirting orgasm.

]]>32:18yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,advice,metamourWhat if my metamour won't meet me? My metamour asked my partner to uninvite me to an event he'd invited me to to avoid meeting me, and now I feel displaced. Minx and Lusty Guy give advice on this poly situation.14553fullCunning Minx552 My wife chose her lover over meMy wife chose her lover over meMon, 26 Mar 2018 01:12:18 +0000Cesar's wife told him she missed him and then left to be with her lover. Is the solution to tell her not to say she misses him?

Cesar called in to ask for advice. His wife opened up their relationship and has a “fuckbuddy.” Cesar has four jobs; she has one. Time together is at a minimum. When she picked him up one night, she told him she missed him and then left to spend the night with her other partner. Cesar got mad, asked her not to tell him she missed him if she was going to leave. He feels she should have spent the evening with him having makeup sex instead of with her other partner.

Was her date a surprise? If so, talk about minimizing surprises by discussing scheduling and changes to the schedule in advance.

Did you decide together to open up the relationship, or did your wife make the decision to open up? If the latter, you will have a lot of additional feelings to unpack.

Let her be the expert on her. Believe your partner when she expresses her feelings and vulnerability. Accusing her of lying is responding to her vulnerability with aggression.

Never tell a partner to stop telling you how they feel! Try responding to her “I miss you” with “I miss you, too. When can we make time for each other?” Or try using the “when you ____, I feel ___” structure to share your feelings about what she just said.

Don’t borrow trouble. Stop imaging the worst.

Ask for what you want. Have you asked for more time with her?

She didn’t skip makeup sex with you because you hadn’t made up! You’ve made up when you both have a shared understanding of the conflict, you’ve both apologized for your contributions to it, and you have both agreed on specific actions to prevent it in the future.

Cesar called in to ask for advice. His wife opened up their relationship and has a “fuckbuddy.” Cesar has four jobs; she has one. Time together is at a minimum. When she picked him up one night, she told him she missed him and then left to spend the night with her other partner. Cesar got mad, asked her not to tell him she missed him if she was going to leave. He feels she should have spent the evening with him having makeup sex instead of with her other partner.

Was her date a surprise? If so, talk about minimizing surprises by discussing scheduling and changes to the schedule in advance.

Did you decide together to open up the relationship, or did your wife make the decision to open up? If the latter, you will have a lot of additional feelings to unpack.

Let her be the expert on her. Believe your partner when she expresses her feelings and vulnerability. Accusing her of lying is responding to her vulnerability with aggression.

Never tell a partner to stop telling you how they feel! Try responding to her “I miss you” with “I miss you, too. When can we make time for each other?” Or try using the “when you ____, I feel ___” structure to share your feelings about what she just said.

Don’t borrow trouble. Stop imaging the worst.

Ask for what you want. Have you asked for more time with her?

She didn’t skip makeup sex with you because you hadn’t made up! You’ve made up when you both have a shared understanding of the conflict, you’ve both apologized for your contributions to it, and you have both agreed on specific actions to prevent it in the future.

]]>29:40yesfight,makeup,polyamory,poly,sex,nonmonogamy,relationships,jealousy,argumentCesar's wife told him she missed him and then left to be with her lover. Is the solution to tell her not to say she misses him? Lusty Guy and Minx give advice on how to let your partner be the expert on herself, how to ask for what you want, and how to resolve an argument and get to the makeup sex.14552fullCunning Minx551 Dating the strong, silent typeDating the strong, silent typeWed, 14 Mar 2018 03:18:12 +0000Is it OK to date someone who doesn't communicate well if he's all that's available and I like him?

Copper is in a rural area of Alaska and met a guy that she experienced a strong connection with, but he’s not very communicative, and she’s afraid of oversharing. How does she mesh the “poly culture” of emotional intelligence and communication with the “Alaskan culture” of not communicating around emotions?

Lusty Guy says it’s not about cultures but about what YOU need. And do you really want to date someone who blew you off?

Minx says “you do you.” Be yourself. He might not be afraid of your oversharing—you won’t know until you try.

Fuck poly community standards—do you need someone who communicates well? If not, go to it! If you are OK dating someone you can’t share your shit with or just need Mr. Right Now, go right ahead.

Copper is in a rural area of Alaska and met a guy that she experienced a strong connection with, but he’s not very communicative, and she’s afraid of oversharing. How does she mesh the “poly culture” of emotional intelligence and communication with the “Alaskan culture” of not communicating around emotions?

Lusty Guy says it’s not about cultures but about what YOU need. And do you really want to date someone who blew you off?

Minx says “you do you.” Be yourself. He might not be afraid of your oversharing—you won’t know until you try.

Fuck poly community standards—do you need someone who communicates well? If not, go to it! If you are OK dating someone you can’t share your shit with or just need Mr. Right Now, go right ahead.

]]>17:34yesdating,communication,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,advice,cowboy,silentA listener calls in from Alaska to ask if it's OK to date someone who doesn't communicate well if he's all that's available in her area and she likes him? Alaskan men don't communicate well, but poly standards require communication, and she is afraid of scaring him off if she reveals her personal secrets.
14551fullCunning Minx550 Ask a poly lawyerAsk a poly lawyerMon, 05 Mar 2018 01:07:50 +0000Ben Shenker, a lawyer practicing in Maryland and D.C., answers your poly questions

]]>31:29yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,lawyer,legalBenjamin Shenker, a poly-friendly lawyer practicing in Maryland and D.C., answers listener legal queries about owning property, child custody, and other tricky legal issues for people practicing polyamory.14550fullCunning Minx549 How to get what you want out of swingingHow to get what you want out of swingingMon, 26 Feb 2018 04:07:59 +0000Diana Ryan and Kieland McClellan advise on how to get the most out of swinging as a person of color.

]]>30:18yesof,color,polyamory,poly,lifestyle,person,swinging,swingerDiana Ryan and Kieland McClellan advise a listener who is frustrated with not being able to find a couple to swing with in Wisconsin on how to get the most out of swinging in her community.14549fullCunning Minx548 How I used science to hack my love lifeHow I used science to hack my love lifeMon, 19 Feb 2018 01:11:48 +0000Brenda Wiebe discusses her new book, Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life

8:05 Brenda Weibe: Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life

Brenda Wiebe currently lives in downtown Salt Lake City with her partner. She completed two back to back masters’ programs, one in sociology and the other in anthropology. She taught courses at the college level for both subjects. She has also given presentations about polyamory to poly/swinger/kink communities and at a conference about polyamory called RelateCon. Currently, her full time job is social work geared toward helping vulnerable adults.

Three years ago she began working on Catch and Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life where she uses her skills as a researcher of sociology and anthropology to write a review of different relationship patterns throughout human history; as well as, a summary of some of the leading current research on relationships. Intermingled throughout the science is the story of her journey to polyamory. Her goal is to explain how cultural pressures and religious indoctrination have created the current mainstream monogamous model that is so prevalent in today’s society and offer an alternative.

When she’s not writing or working, Brenda enjoys reading fantasy novels, drinking the beer her partner brews, and wandering in the mountains when the weather is nice.

8:05 Brenda Weibe: Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life

Brenda Wiebe currently lives in downtown Salt Lake City with her partner. She completed two back to back masters’ programs, one in sociology and the other in anthropology. She taught courses at the college level for both subjects. She has also given presentations about polyamory to poly/swinger/kink communities and at a conference about polyamory called RelateCon. Currently, her full time job is social work geared toward helping vulnerable adults.

Three years ago she began working on Catch and Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life where she uses her skills as a researcher of sociology and anthropology to write a review of different relationship patterns throughout human history; as well as, a summary of some of the leading current research on relationships. Intermingled throughout the science is the story of her journey to polyamory. Her goal is to explain how cultural pressures and religious indoctrination have created the current mainstream monogamous model that is so prevalent in today’s society and offer an alternative.

When she’s not writing or working, Brenda enjoys reading fantasy novels, drinking the beer her partner brews, and wandering in the mountains when the weather is nice.

]]>35:19yeslove,science,life,polyamory,poly,book,hack,brenda,wiebeBrenda Wiebe, sociologist and social worker turned poly writer, discusses her first book, Catch & Release: How I Used Science to Hack My Love Life. 14548fullCunning Minx547 Reassurances in long distance relationshipsReassurances in long distance relationshipsWed, 14 Feb 2018 02:44:31 +0000How to you reassure your new poly partner when you're going to be 8,000 miles away for the next three years?

3:15 Listener question: how do I give reassurances in my long-distance relationship?

Veronica calls in to ask how to reassure her new poly partner who is now 8,000 miles away. Won’t this become a problem when they start seeing other people over the next three years? Minx says to ask her partner what he needs and to say what you need; LustyGuy says not to borrow trouble for something that isn’t yet an issue.

14:45 Feedback

Maria calls in to call Minx out on referring to LustyGuy as “already trained.”

18:00 Happy poly moment

Melissa writes in to share a happy poly moment as to how a solo poly partner can help enrich her partner and metamour’s relationship!

3:15 Listener question: how do I give reassurances in my long-distance relationship?

Veronica calls in to ask how to reassure her new poly partner who is now 8,000 miles away. Won’t this become a problem when they start seeing other people over the next three years? Minx says to ask her partner what he needs and to say what you need; LustyGuy says not to borrow trouble for something that isn’t yet an issue.

14:45 Feedback

Maria calls in to call Minx out on referring to LustyGuy as “already trained.”

18:00 Happy poly moment

Melissa writes in to share a happy poly moment as to how a solo poly partner can help enrich her partner and metamour’s relationship!

]]>21:50yespolyamory,poly,long,relationships,distance,ldrHow to you reassure your new poly partner when you're going to be 8,000 miles away for the next three years? A listener calls in for advice on maintaining connection and avoiding jealousy in a new long-distance polyamorous relationship.
14547fullCunning Minx546 Hierarchies and power dynamics in polyHierarchies and power dynamics in polyMon, 05 Feb 2018 04:30:03 +0000Erich Viedge interviews Chris Deaton about polyamory and BDSM

6:30 Interview: Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory

Our South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews researcher Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory. He is doing a survey on how power exchange in BDSM poly relationships are reflected in poly relationships that might otherwise be egalitarian.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

6:30 Interview: Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory

Our South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews researcher Chris Deaton on hierarchy and power dynamics in polyamory. He is doing a survey on how power exchange in BDSM poly relationships are reflected in poly relationships that might otherwise be egalitarian.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>29:05yeschris,power,polyamory,poly,bdsm,exchange,erich,dynamics,hierarchy,deaton,viedgeErich Viedge interviews Chris Deaton about polyamory and how that plays with the power exchange dynamics in BDSM and kink.14546fullCunning Minx545 Kevin Patterson on Love's Not Color BlindKevin Patterson on Love's Not Color BlindFri, 26 Jan 2018 03:01:30 +0000Kevin Patterson discusses his soon-to-be-released new book, Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamory

Enter to win your advance copy of Love’s Not Color Blind! Click on the Love’s Not Color Blind book tour, click the Share button to share it as a public post, and write a post to share it with your friends to enter!

27:25 Feedback

A listener calls in response to episode 517 to share a rare but serious danger of HSV

31:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Enter to win your advance copy of Love’s Not Color Blind! Click on the Love’s Not Color Blind book tour, click the Share button to share it as a public post, and write a post to share it with your friends to enter!

A listener calls in response to episode 517 to share a rare but serious danger of HSV

31:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>31:51yescolor,kevin,press,polyamory,poly,book,not,race,blind,loves,patterson,representation,thorntreeKevin Patterson of the Poly Role Models blog discusses his soon-to-be-released new book on polyamory and race, Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities14545fullCunning Minx544 Sisterhood in poly with Iris MuscarellaSisterhood in poly with Iris MuscarellaFri, 12 Jan 2018 03:04:38 +0000Educator, business owner, and burlesque performer Iris Muscarella discusses the importance of nurturing sisterhood in polyamory

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:30 Interview: Iris Muscarella on sisterhood in polyamory

what is sisterhood exactly, and what does that look like in polyamory?

What advice would you give to women who feel they aren’t good at making female friends?

Iris reaches out to her metamours to introduce herself and to show respect for the existing relationship

How to set up metamour group time if you’re an introvert

How to let people play to their strengths

26:15 Feedback

Maria calls in to ask why we don’t use our real names—wouldn’t it be more powerful?

Alan recommended a few Christian poly-friendly churches: the Metro Community Church, Unitarian Universalist church, and the Christian New Thought church

32:30 Happy poly moment

Ann writes in to say that her young triad is happy

33:30 Thanks!

Thanks to Theresa for sending in $100 donation this week!

34:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

what is sisterhood exactly, and what does that look like in polyamory?

What advice would you give to women who feel they aren’t good at making female friends?

Iris reaches out to her metamours to introduce herself and to show respect for the existing relationship

How to set up metamour group time if you’re an introvert

How to let people play to their strengths

26:15 Feedback

Maria calls in to ask why we don’t use our real names—wouldn’t it be more powerful?

Alan recommended a few Christian poly-friendly churches: the Metro Community Church, Unitarian Universalist church, and the Christian New Thought church

32:30 Happy poly moment

Ann writes in to say that her young triad is happy

33:30 Thanks!

Thanks to Theresa for sending in $100 donation this week!

34:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>34:55yespolyamory,poly,iris,sisterhood,womanhood,girlfriends,muscarellaEducator, business owner, and burlesque performer Iris Muscarella discusses the importance of nurturing sisterhood in polyamory--what it looks like, and why it's important. Plus an update on relationship anarchy.
14544fullCunning Minx523: 2017--a Poly Weekly year in review2017: a Poly Weekly year in reviewMon, 08 Jan 2018 04:27:54 +0000Highlights from the best episodes of 2017

23:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Highlights from the best episodes of 2017 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>24:03yespodcast,of,show,polyamory,poly,best,review,clip,2017South African correspondent Erich Viedge put together this fun clip show of our best episodes of 2017, including influential books, movies, and articles that helped shape awareness of polyamory around the globe.14543fullCunning Minx542 When your partner is dating a drama queenWhen your partner is dating a drama queenFri, 29 Dec 2017 00:12:11 +0000Is it OK to use your veto power if your metamour is a drama queen to the point that your needs aren't being met?

9:00 My partner is dating a drama queen

Kathy has been dating for a year a guy who started dating X four months ago. Kathy didn’t get along with the metamour X and feels her own needs were not being met by her partner when he was with the metamour. Kathy feels that Guy would shower X with support, and Kathy would do the emotional labor of supporting Guy through events/breakups with X. But when Kathy needed Guy’s emotional support when she lost her grandmother, she says that Guy couldn’t, and she felt it was because he was always supporting X. Guy and X break up, Kathy supports Guy. He wants to get back together with X, and Kathy feels awful that she just can’t bring herself to back this plan and exercises her veto power. She asks:

So besides sharing my story, I have a question: How do you deal in an ethical way with these situations? How can give my partner the time, space and support he needs while my needs to spend quality time with him and to have a relationship conversation aren't being fulfilled?

Lusty Guy recommends limiting your interactions and vulnerability with Guy if you feel that you and your relationship are being negatively affected by X

He also recommends considering owning your shit and determining what you have contributed to the situation

Minx references the Relationship Bill of Rights and the point that you have the right “to seek balance between what you give to the relationship and what is given back to you.”

Also, be specific—maybe Guy has been thinking he’s been giving you “emotional support,” but it doesn’t look like the support you want. Say what “emotional support” looks like to you when you ask for it—being physically present for a hug, arranging to spend an uninterrupted hour of listening, or maybe just a kind text message or two. What exactly does good “emotional support” look like? Ask for it, and acknowledge when he does it!

19:00 Feedback

D responds to the question on episode 486 about having a partner newly identify as a heteroromantic grey asexual.

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Scott wrote in to share that he celebrated his 46th birthday by buying himself a ring with his three lovers’ names on it.

21:50 Thank you!

Thanks to Heidi for the pi donation and to Nicholas and Eric for joining as PW Playmates!

23:20 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Is it OK to use your veto power if your metamour is a drama queen to the point that your needs aren't being met? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Kathy has been dating for a year a guy who started dating X four months ago. Kathy didn’t get along with the metamour X and feels her own needs were not being met by her partner when he was with the metamour. Kathy feels that Guy would shower X with support, and Kathy would do the emotional labor of supporting Guy through events/breakups with X. But when Kathy needed Guy’s emotional support when she lost her grandmother, she says that Guy couldn’t, and she felt it was because he was always supporting X. Guy and X break up, Kathy supports Guy. He wants to get back together with X, and Kathy feels awful that she just can’t bring herself to back this plan and exercises her veto power. She asks:

So besides sharing my story, I have a question: How do you deal in an ethical way with these situations? How can give my partner the time, space and support he needs while my needs to spend quality time with him and to have a relationship conversation aren't being fulfilled?

Lusty Guy recommends limiting your interactions and vulnerability with Guy if you feel that you and your relationship are being negatively affected by X

He also recommends considering owning your shit and determining what you have contributed to the situation

Minx references the Relationship Bill of Rights and the point that you have the right “to seek balance between what you give to the relationship and what is given back to you.”

Also, be specific—maybe Guy has been thinking he’s been giving you “emotional support,” but it doesn’t look like the support you want. Say what “emotional support” looks like to you when you ask for it—being physically present for a hug, arranging to spend an uninterrupted hour of listening, or maybe just a kind text message or two. What exactly does good “emotional support” look like? Ask for it, and acknowledge when he does it!

19:00 Feedback

D responds to the question on episode 486 about having a partner newly identify as a heteroromantic grey asexual.

21:00 Happy Poly Moment

Scott wrote in to share that he celebrated his 46th birthday by buying himself a ring with his three lovers’ names on it.

21:50 Thank you!

Thanks to Heidi for the pi donation and to Nicholas and Eric for joining as PW Playmates!

23:20 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review! Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>24:11yesdrama,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,queen,veto,needs,metamourIs it OK to use your veto power in a poly relationship if your metamour is a drama queen to the point that your needs aren't being met? How to handle asking for your own needs to be met in a polyamorous relationship when your metamour is a bit of a drama queen and seems to require most of your partner's emotional support.13542fullCunning Minx541 French poly filmmaker Isa LutineFrench poly filmmaker Isa LutineMon, 18 Dec 2017 03:13:09 +0000Erich Viedge interviews French poly filmmaker Isa Lutine, a.k.a. Isabelle Broué, about her latest poly film.

Broué is the director of the 2004 film Tout le plaisir est pour moi — all the pleasure is for me — about a radio journalist who realises one day she’s lost her clitoris.

In 2016, She made a feature film about polyamory which won the Best Screenplay AND Best feature at the Vancouver women in Film festival in 2017. Her latest project is called Lutine le Film. You can find it at www.lutinelefilm.com and on Facebook Lutine le Film. Broué herself is on Facebook as Isa Lutine. (“Lutine” is the French word for elf or imp and broadly means something like “polyamorous person.”)

If you would like to arrange a screening, you can contact Broué through her website lutinelefilm.com

31:20 Happy Poly Moment

Angel shares the best possible outcome of coming out to a human resource person at work!

Broué is the director of the 2004 film Tout le plaisir est pour moi — all the pleasure is for me — about a radio journalist who realises one day she’s lost her clitoris.

In 2016, She made a feature film about polyamory which won the Best Screenplay AND Best feature at the Vancouver women in Film festival in 2017. Her latest project is called Lutine le Film. You can find it at www.lutinelefilm.com and on Facebook Lutine le Film. Broué herself is on Facebook as Isa Lutine. (“Lutine” is the French word for elf or imp and broadly means something like “polyamorous person.”)

If you would like to arrange a screening, you can contact Broué through her website lutinelefilm.com

31:20 Happy Poly Moment

Angel shares the best possible outcome of coming out to a human resource person at work!

1:30 Intro and host chat

1:50 Poly in the news

Kitty Chambliss is a #1 Amazon best selling author, relationship coach, polyamorous and sex-positive speaker, activist, and founder of Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). Since 2012 LWB has over 200 blog posts and 70 podcasts to date. Kitty’s work has been featured in Stories From the Polycule, Multiamory, Swingtowns, PostModern Woman, the upcoming book It’s Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships, and other publications around the globe.

33:40 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Kitty Chambliss is a #1 Amazon best selling author, relationship coach, polyamorous and sex-positive speaker, activist, and founder of Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). Since 2012 LWB has over 200 blog posts and 70 podcasts to date. Kitty’s work has been featured in Stories From the Polycule, Multiamory, Swingtowns, PostModern Woman, the upcoming book It’s Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships, and other publications around the globe.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>35:03yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,book,guide,kitty,survival,chambliss,jealousyRelationship coach and poly educator Kitty Chambliss shares insights from her latest book, the Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship13540fullCunning Minx539 Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into WomenGuide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into WomenFri, 01 Dec 2017 00:52:31 +0000Pepper Mint discusses his new book, Playing Fair: Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women

24:30 Feedback

28:40 Happy Poly Moment

Catharina shares a happy poly moment about being an awesome partner and metamour!

31:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Pepper Mint discusses his new book, Playing Fair: Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Catharina shares a happy poly moment about being an awesome partner and metamour!

31:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>32:00yespress,women,men,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,book,guide,fair,playing,pepper,into,mint,thorntreePepper Mint shares with us insights and readings from his new book, Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men Into Women, published by Thorntree Press. Great for polyamorous or wanna-be poly men or those who love them.13539fullCunning Minx538 Coming out as poly to your kidsComing out to your kids as polyThu, 09 Nov 2017 14:00:00 +0000South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews sex educator Casey Blake for tips on how to talk about your poly relationships and your general polyamory with your kids:

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:30 Intro and host chat

So excited to bring you another piece out of South Africa. The audio line wasn’t the best, but we hope the great interview shines through!

2:30 Interview: Casey Blake

Casey Blake is a South African sex educator who helps parents to break the silent taboo of speaking about our lives in ways that can make a difference for our children. She founded What Now Counselling in 2013 to provide a variety of services to help people cope with the life, when the first words that come to mind are "What Now?" and runs workshops on how to have “the talks” about sex and relationship with kids.

South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews Casey Blake to ask about how to come out to his own kids, and she recommends a few things:

Don’t insist on being the source of all correct information—be willing to say you don’t know or to ask them what they think.

Ask them what do relationships mean to you?

If your kid discovers you have a date outside your marriage, ask them what they think about that? What does “date” mean to you?

When we are silent about things, it teaches our children that they can’t talk to us. Bring stuff up, even out of the blue—it teaches them that they can also bring up unspoken things or ask questions after a while.

It’s OK to teach that sex is nice/pleasurable, and that’s why the door is closed.

An easy answer is to ask what do you think. For example, if your kid asks what you do on your date with your girlfriend, ask them, “what do you think?” Don’t let your internalized shame get in the way of communication with your kid.

Ask the children for the information they’ve got in a conversational manner: where did you hear that? What do you think? (Listen, breathe and try not to laugh!) Pixelate what needs pixelating.

Being ignorant makes your kids susceptible to danger.

You can’t talk with your children about something you are ashamed they know you’re doing.

24:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

So excited to bring you another piece out of South Africa. The audio line wasn’t the best, but we hope the great interview shines through!

2:30 Interview: Casey Blake

Casey Blake is a South African sex educator who helps parents to break the silent taboo of speaking about our lives in ways that can make a difference for our children. She founded What Now Counselling in 2013 to provide a variety of services to help people cope with the life, when the first words that come to mind are "What Now?" and runs workshops on how to have “the talks” about sex and relationship with kids.

South African correspondent Erich Viedge interviews Casey Blake to ask about how to come out to his own kids, and she recommends a few things:

Don’t insist on being the source of all correct information—be willing to say you don’t know or to ask them what they think.

Ask them what do relationships mean to you?

If your kid discovers you have a date outside your marriage, ask them what they think about that? What does “date” mean to you?

When we are silent about things, it teaches our children that they can’t talk to us. Bring stuff up, even out of the blue—it teaches them that they can also bring up unspoken things or ask questions after a while.

It’s OK to teach that sex is nice/pleasurable, and that’s why the door is closed.

An easy answer is to ask what do you think. For example, if your kid asks what you do on your date with your girlfriend, ask them, “what do you think?” Don’t let your internalized shame get in the way of communication with your kid.

Ask the children for the information they’ve got in a conversational manner: where did you hear that? What do you think? (Listen, breathe and try not to laugh!) Pixelate what needs pixelating.

Being ignorant makes your kids susceptible to danger.

You can’t talk with your children about something you are ashamed they know you’re doing.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

0:00 Introduction and host chat

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

2:30 Poly in the news

6:30 Interview: Ignacio Rivera

Ignacio Rivera aka Papí Coxxx who prefers the gender-neutral pronoun “they” is a Two-Spirit, Black Boricua Taíno New Yorker currently living in Baltimore. Ignacio has spoken at home and abroad on various topics including but not limited to sexuality, racism, sexism, transgender issues, anti-oppression, anti-violence, sexual liberation and multi-issue organizing. Ignacio’s work has manifested itself through skits, one-person shows, poetry, lectures, workshops and experimental film.

Ignacio identifies as an independent polyamorist, kinky, switch and sex worker who is on a sexually liberating life-long path. They are the founder of Poly Patao Productions (P3), The HEAL Project and Re(Nude) Sex(uality) Coaching. They can be seen in Pink and White Productions, “The Wild Search " Morty Diamond’s “Tranny Fags” on a “Trans Entity: The Nasty Love of Papí and Wil” and Cheryl Dunye's "Mommy is Coming."

We talk about their consensual sex education projects, their Pure Love talk show with their daughter about what her sex education was like (and the results thereof), and how they came to be poly before the internet. They started Shades of Poly, a nonmonogamous support group for poly people of color.

30:45 Feedback

33:30 Happy Poly Moment

J shares a first happy poly moment of finally being comfortable with a metamour.

37:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Ignacio Rivera shares their latest work on a variety of topics, including consensual sex education 0:00 Introduction and host chat

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

Ignacio Rivera aka Papí Coxxx who prefers the gender-neutral pronoun “they” is a Two-Spirit, Black Boricua Taíno New Yorker currently living in Baltimore. Ignacio has spoken at home and abroad on various topics including but not limited to sexuality, racism, sexism, transgender issues, anti-oppression, anti-violence, sexual liberation and multi-issue organizing. Ignacio’s work has manifested itself through skits, one-person shows, poetry, lectures, workshops and experimental film.

Ignacio identifies as an independent polyamorist, kinky, switch and sex worker who is on a sexually liberating life-long path. They are the founder of Poly Patao Productions (P3), The HEAL Project and Re(Nude) Sex(uality) Coaching. They can be seen in Pink and White Productions, “The Wild Search " Morty Diamond’s “Tranny Fags” on a “Trans Entity: The Nasty Love of Papí and Wil” and Cheryl Dunye's "Mommy is Coming."

We talk about their consensual sex education projects, their Pure Love talk show with their daughter about what her sex education was like (and the results thereof), and how they came to be poly before the internet. They started Shades of Poly, a nonmonogamous support group for poly people of color.

J shares a first happy poly moment of finally being comfortable with a metamour.

37:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>38:56yespolyamory,poly,sex,education,rivera,consent,ignacioIgnacio Rivera shares their latest work on a variety of topics, including consensual sex education, including the HEAL project for survivors of childhood abuse and Pure Love, the talk show with their daughter.13537fullCunning Minx536 Professor Marston and the Wonder WomenProfessor Marston and the Wonder Women with Mimi SchippersThu, 26 Oct 2017 13:00:00 +0000We review this stellar poly romantic comedy with sociologist Mimi Schippers.

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

8:00 Interview: Sociologist Mimi Schippers on the Wonder Women movie

Mimi Schippers is Professor of Sociology and Gender and Sexuality Studies at Tulane University and teaches courses on gender, sexuality, and feminist and queer theory. She also developed one of the first college courses on the sociology of monogamy and polyamory. Her book Beyond Monogamy: Polyamory and the Future Of Polyqueer Sexualities was published in August 2016 and focuses on the feminist, queer, and anti-racist potential of polyamory, multi-adult intimate relationships, and group sex.

36:15 Movie review: Joreth on Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

40:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

8:00 Interview: Sociologist Mimi Schippers on the Wonder Women movie

Mimi Schippers is Professor of Sociology and Gender and Sexuality Studies at Tulane University and teaches courses on gender, sexuality, and feminist and queer theory. She also developed one of the first college courses on the sociology of monogamy and polyamory. Her book Beyond Monogamy: Polyamory and the Future Of Polyqueer Sexualities was published in August 2016 and focuses on the feminist, queer, and anti-racist potential of polyamory, multi-adult intimate relationships, and group sex.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:00 Host chat and announcements

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

3:00 Interview: Asexuality

Justine/Heart is a physicist by day who volunteers at www.asexuality.org and spoke to us about what asexuality is and how to find resources to learn more.

24:15 Feedback

Andy from Ann Arbor called in to let us know about polyamory in a science fiction book by Nora Jemisin, The Fifth Season. The second book in the series has a poly triad seamlessly worked into the book, and the first two books in the trilogy won the Hugo award two years in a row.

25:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

3:00 Interview: Asexuality

Justine/Heart is a physicist by day who volunteers at www.asexuality.org and spoke to us about what asexuality is and how to find resources to learn more.

Andy from Ann Arbor called in to let us know about polyamory in a science fiction book by Nora Jemisin, The Fifth Season. The second book in the series has a poly triad seamlessly worked into the book, and the first two books in the trilogy won the Hugo award two years in a row.

25:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>26:33yespolyamory,poly,ace,nora,justine,asexual,jemisin,asexualityJustine, a physicist by day and asexuality.org volunteer by night, busts asexual myths and shares her experiences as an asexual polyamorous person.
13535fullCunning Minx534 Janet Hardy and the Ethical Slut third editionJanet Hardy and the Ethical Slut third editionThu, 12 Oct 2017 14:46:03 +0000Janet Hardy on the last 20 years of polyamory and the latest edition of the Ethical Slut.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:00 Host chat and announcements

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

2:45 Interview: Janet Hardy on her life and The Ethical Slut’s third edition

Janet Hardy, author of over a dozen books on sexuality, BDSM and polyamory, joins us for a life and editorial update. She’s sharpening her illustration skills for a brand-new, fully-illustrated edition of The Sexually Dominant Woman and working with her grown sons on their early poly lives, working title “Slut and Sons.”

We talk about that great write up in Rolling Stone, the first headline about geeks making the best lovers that opened the door to talking about poly in the 90s and how that has changed. And we talk about what is new in ES3—consent culture, more inclusiveness and more. Plus, Janet’s favorite musical!

26:15 Happy poly moment

New listener Sarah shares a happy poly moment about her partners collaborating to make her day.

27:45 Thank you!

Welcome Meiyi to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

28:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Janet Hardy on the last 20 years of polyamory and the latest edition of the Ethical Slut. 0:00 Introduction and host chat

The University of Utah Relationship Decisions Lab is looking for survey respondents who are looking to open up their relationships for the first time or who have opened it up before but are looking to open up again. To participate, go to www.relationshipdecisions.org, click on the Participants tab and select Open Relationship Project link. And remember, it’s for science!

2:45 Interview: Janet Hardy on her life and The Ethical Slut’s third edition

Janet Hardy, author of over a dozen books on sexuality, BDSM and polyamory, joins us for a life and editorial update. She’s sharpening her illustration skills for a brand-new, fully-illustrated edition of The Sexually Dominant Woman and working with her grown sons on their early poly lives, working title “Slut and Sons.”

We talk about that great write up in Rolling Stone, the first headline about geeks making the best lovers that opened the door to talking about poly in the 90s and how that has changed. And we talk about what is new in ES3—consent culture, more inclusiveness and more. Plus, Janet’s favorite musical!

New listener Sarah shares a happy poly moment about her partners collaborating to make her day.

27:45 Thank you!

Welcome Meiyi to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

28:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>28:49yesthe,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,book,101,ethical,slut,janet,hardyWe chat with The Ethical Slut co-author Janet Hardy on how poly has changed in the last 20 years and on what has changed the latest edition of The Ethical Slut.13534fullCunning Minx533: Reducing friction in metamour meetupsReducing friction in metamour meetingsSun, 08 Oct 2017 22:08:32 +0000A listener asks how to reduce friction and awkwardness in first-time metamour meetings; LustyGuy and Minx respond, and correspondent Erich Viedge offers a relevant interview with and letter from Wilrieke Sophia.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:00 Host chat and announcements

Remember my response to Mayim Bialik’s clueless video about open relationships? She did a correction video here in which she corrected her assumptions about open relationships and polyamory. Huzzah for Mayim!

In personal news, Minx and her kitty moved in with LustyGuy and L to form a blended household.

If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

9:30 Topic: reducing friction in first-time metamour meetups

Claire in Portland has three partners with some being long-distance, and she is arranging for everyone to meet for the first time. How can she reduce the awkwardness of this first meeting and make sure everyone is comfortable?

You can’t make anyone do anything

Think of it as a party: set up channels of communication beforehand, introduce people and conversational topics, have favorite foods and drinks at hand, diminish expectations and pressure, have icebreaker activities set up

Model the behavior you want to see: calm and vulnerable

Let everyone know that nothing rides on this—you can flub everything up, and it will still be OK

Ask everyone involved what they would need to be comfy and their ideas for helping to make everyone else comfy

Thanks to Erich Viedge for interviewing poly activist and educator Wilrieke Sophia on a similar topic and having her read her “Letter to the Women Who Sleep with My Man” for us!

27:10 Feedback

A listener wrote in to comment on a response to herpes we discussed on episode 517, pointing out that, while most people experience herpes as a minor inconvenience at most, herpes can be quite painful for some outlier cases.

29:00 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in to share how she and her husband overcame the obstacles to enable her to ask for what she wanted and to be truly happy for her husband and their new lover!

42:00 Thank you!

Welcome Theodore and Mallory as new Poly Weekly Playmates! And thanks to Katherine and Craig for your donations!

42:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>A listener asks how to reduce friction and awkwardness in first-time metamour meetings; LustyGuy and Minx respond, and correspondent Erich Viedge offers a relevant interview with and letter from Wilrieke Sophia. 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Remember my response to Mayim Bialik’s clueless video about open relationships? She did a correction video here in which she corrected her assumptions about open relationships and polyamory. Huzzah for Mayim!

In personal news, Minx and her kitty moved in with LustyGuy and L to form a blended household.

If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

9:30 Topic: reducing friction in first-time metamour meetups

Claire in Portland has three partners with some being long-distance, and she is arranging for everyone to meet for the first time. How can she reduce the awkwardness of this first meeting and make sure everyone is comfortable?

You can’t make anyone do anything

Think of it as a party: set up channels of communication beforehand, introduce people and conversational topics, have favorite foods and drinks at hand, diminish expectations and pressure, have icebreaker activities set up

Model the behavior you want to see: calm and vulnerable

Let everyone know that nothing rides on this—you can flub everything up, and it will still be OK

Ask everyone involved what they would need to be comfy and their ideas for helping to make everyone else comfy

Thanks to Erich Viedge for interviewing poly activist and educator Wilrieke Sophia on a similar topic and having her read her “Letter to the Women Who Sleep with My Man” for us!

27:10 Feedback

A listener wrote in to comment on a response to herpes we discussed on episode 517, pointing out that, while most people experience herpes as a minor inconvenience at most, herpes can be quite painful for some outlier cases.

29:00 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in to share how she and her husband overcame the obstacles to enable her to ask for what she wanted and to be truly happy for her husband and their new lover!

Welcome Theodore and Mallory as new Poly Weekly Playmates! And thanks to Katherine and Craig for your donations!

42:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>43:22yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,book,review,relations,meetings,sophia,metamours,erich,page,turner,metamour,awkward,viedge,wilriekeA listener asks how to reduce friction and awkwardness in first-time metamour meetings; LustyGuy and Minx respond, and correspondent Erich Viedge offers a relevant interview with and letter from Wilrieke Sophia as well as a book author interview with Page Turner about her new book, Poly Land, My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory.13533fullCunning Minx532 Can I be poly if I come too quickly?Can I be poly if I come too quickly?Thu, 21 Sep 2017 13:00:00 +0000Sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson addresses a listener question about premature ejaculation.

1:30 Poly in the news

7:45 Topic: Can I be poly if I come too quickly?

Sexpert and sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson joins us to give advice to a listener who reports suffering from premature ejaculation and wonders if he can be poly with this issue? Does he need to find a partner who also comes quickly?

Ruby ponders a few questions: how quickly is too quickly? Does this happen all the time, even when masturbating?

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Sexpert and sex therapist Ruby Bouie Johnson joins us to give advice to a listener who reports suffering from premature ejaculation and wonders if he can be poly with this issue? Does he need to find a partner who also comes quickly?

Ruby ponders a few questions: how quickly is too quickly? Does this happen all the time, even when masturbating?

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

7:05 Interview: Iris Muscarella on solo and egalitarian polyamory

Solo egalitarian poly is the love language of the individual. “I don’t wanna be your whole world; I just wanna be a part of your world.”

How Iris defines solo and egalitarian; relationship anarchy; how solo poly differs from “just dating”; how do you show the importance of your relationship(s) in the absence of typical relationship escalator benchmarks; what do solo poly people need to have in their toolkits; how can people be better allies to people of color in the poly community—listen to hear, not to respond

33:30 Feedback

Herbalwise shares a bit of everyday poly in the podcasting world

Friggin’ Limey calls in to let us hear his accent!

36:00 Happy Poly Moment

A listener writes in to share a sexy and erotic happy poly moment—and breakfast afterwards!

38:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Solo egalitarian poly is the love language of the individual. “I don’t wanna be your whole world; I just wanna be a part of your world.”

How Iris defines solo and egalitarian; relationship anarchy; how solo poly differs from “just dating”; how do you show the importance of your relationship(s) in the absence of typical relationship escalator benchmarks; what do solo poly people need to have in their toolkits; how can people be better allies to people of color in the poly community—listen to hear, not to respond

33:30 Feedback

Herbalwise shares a bit of everyday poly in the podcasting world

Friggin’ Limey calls in to let us hear his accent!

36:00 Happy Poly Moment

A listener writes in to share a sexy and erotic happy poly moment—and breakfast afterwards!

38:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>39:16yespolyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,solo,iris,egalitarian,muscarellaIris Muscarella, burlesque performer, jazz singer and new poly educator, shares insights on solo and egalitarian polyamory.13531fullCunning Minx530 The political struggles of polyamory todayThe political struggles of polyamory todayThu, 07 Sep 2017 13:00:00 +0000Listener AJ asks what are the political struggles of the poly movement today.

1:00 Announcements

3:30 Topic: What are the real political struggles of the poly movement today, and what should they be?

Listener AJ writes in to ask if being considered a target by marketers and being included in the legal system should really be the goals of the poly movement. “Do we really desire inclusion in the system we already have?” they question, along with questioning what are the real struggles of the poly movement today and what we can learn from the LGBTQ resistance movements.

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Listener AJ asks what are the political struggles of the poly movement today. 0:00 Introduction and host chat

3:30 Topic: What are the real political struggles of the poly movement today, and what should they be?

Listener AJ writes in to ask if being considered a target by marketers and being included in the legal system should really be the goals of the poly movement. “Do we really desire inclusion in the system we already have?” they question, along with questioning what are the real struggles of the poly movement today and what we can learn from the LGBTQ resistance movements.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>24:37yespolyamory,poly,politics,political,movementListener AJ asks what are the key political struggles of the poly movement today and what can we learn from the LGBTQ movement.13530fullCunning Minx529 Polyamory and sci fiPolyamory and science fictionWed, 30 Aug 2017 13:00:00 +0000There is a growing demand for poly plot lines in science fiction novels. Guest host Erich Viege interviews Alisia Gus of Curiosity Quills publishing.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:00 Announcements

2:15 Poly in the News

3:30 Interview: Curiosity Quills publisher Alisia Gus on polyamory

There is a growing demand for sci fi books with poly in background. And they are accepting submissions, if you’re a writer! Gus wants to partner with other publishers telling more stories of non-mono relationships. And she is offering a subscription box, like book box of the month.

18:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

There is a growing demand for sci fi books with poly in background. And they are accepting submissions, if you’re a writer! Gus wants to partner with other publishers telling more stories of non-mono relationships. And she is offering a subscription box, like book box of the month.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Blacks are already ostracized; it can be difficult to add polyamory to the mix. As a Black male, it’s already hard to fight the aggressive and overly sexualized stereotypes; polyamory can appear to reinforce those

35:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Chris Smith on polyamory and the Black American 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Blacks are already ostracized; it can be difficult to add polyamory to the mix. As a Black male, it’s already hard to fight the aggressive and overly sexualized stereotypes; polyamory can appear to reinforce those

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:00 Announcements

If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

5:10 Poly in the News

Sarah from Australia asked for Lusty Guy to elaborate on his comment about patterns at the start of relationship establishing what will happen later on in the relationship. What patterns do you establish when you start dating? Any red flag behaviors? What the hell is Lusty Guy talking about?

A pattern is the behavior you adopt in the face of differing styles or approaches to stuff in relationships

The way you establish a pattern is to ask yourself how you ideally want to respond to conflicts or conflicting patterns (such as who plans a date)—and those will often persist throughout the duration of the relationship

What do you want your partner to learn?

LG likes to look for ways to be his very best self in the first relationship conflict. “Whenever you want to reach someone, you have to be reachable.” Be vulnerable!

Red flags: pay attention to the nature of the stories people tell about themselves. Are they the avenging hero? Martyr? Berserker? Affable buffoon? And look for the differences between the behavior you observe and the stories they tell

Also, do they share?

How do they talk about their past relationships? Are they respectful of past partners and relationships?

What comments do they make about strangers?

24:25 Feedback

Thanks for having Goody Howard on the show!

26:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>What behavioral patterns do you establish at the beginning of your relationships, and why does that matter? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

If you want to have us speak at your event outside the US and are willing to host a fundraiser to finance our travel, we are happy to donate classes, signed books and even relationship coaching to help you out! Interested? Email lustyguy@polyweekly.com

Sarah from Australia asked for Lusty Guy to elaborate on his comment about patterns at the start of relationship establishing what will happen later on in the relationship. What patterns do you establish when you start dating? Any red flag behaviors? What the hell is Lusty Guy talking about?

A pattern is the behavior you adopt in the face of differing styles or approaches to stuff in relationships

The way you establish a pattern is to ask yourself how you ideally want to respond to conflicts or conflicting patterns (such as who plans a date)—and those will often persist throughout the duration of the relationship

What do you want your partner to learn?

LG likes to look for ways to be his very best self in the first relationship conflict. “Whenever you want to reach someone, you have to be reachable.” Be vulnerable!

Red flags: pay attention to the nature of the stories people tell about themselves. Are they the avenging hero? Martyr? Berserker? Affable buffoon? And look for the differences between the behavior you observe and the stories they tell

Also, do they share?

How do they talk about their past relationships? Are they respectful of past partners and relationships?

What comments do they make about strangers?

24:25 Feedback

Thanks for having Goody Howard on the show!

26:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>27:45yespolyamory,poly,relationship,behavior,patternsWhat behavioral patterns do you establish at the beginning of your polyamorous (or monogamous) dating relationships, and why do those patterns matter?13527fullCunning Minx526: Poly comet specialThu, 10 Aug 2017 13:00:00 +0000What is a "comet," and why are they valuable?

2:45 Poly in the News

7:30 Topic: let’s talk about poly comets!

A listener calls in to ask more about poly comets. Rough definition of a comet: An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without an expectation of continuity or a romantic relationship. For more poly terms, check out More Than Two’s excellent poly glossary.

Koe shares their ideas on long-term comets and short-term comets

18:45 Feedback

The chairperson of Poly Denmark writes in to let us know that poly is alive and well in Scandinavia and has been for over 10 years!

Polyamory.dk (note the interesting version of the infinity-heart logo).

23:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>What is a "comet," and why are they valuable? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

A listener calls in to ask more about poly comets. Rough definition of a comet: An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without an expectation of continuity or a romantic relationship. For more poly terms, check out More Than Two’s excellent poly glossary.

Koe shares their ideas on long-term comets and short-term comets

18:45 Feedback

The chairperson of Poly Denmark writes in to let us know that poly is alive and well in Scandinavia and has been for over 10 years!

Polydan; includes e-mail list. Polyamory.dk (note the interesting version of the infinity-heart logo).

23:15 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

2:45 Poly in the News

9:17 Interview: Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero

We do a poly profile of Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero, whom we met at Poly Dallas Millennium. An intimacy consultant and a sex educator who loves to host toy parties and teach classes on oral sex, her superpower is helping people to be comfortable discussing intimacy, sexuality and their own wants and needs.

41:15 Thank you!

Chris donated $69.96 to celebrate the wife and girlfriend going on their first date!

42:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

We do a poly profile of Goody Howard, Sex Positive Superhero, whom we met at Poly Dallas Millennium. An intimacy consultant and a sex educator who loves to host toy parties and teach classes on oral sex, her superpower is helping people to be comfortable discussing intimacy, sexuality and their own wants and needs.

Chris donated $69.96 to celebrate the wife and girlfriend going on their first date!

42:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>42:48yesof,color,polyamory,poly,sex,education,dallas,positive,toys,texas,howard,people,oral,intimacy,consultant,goody,pocAfter meeting her at Poly Dallas Millennium, we interview sex positive educator, sex toy party facilitator and intimacy consultant Goody Howard, operating out of Texas.13525fullCunning Minx524: Will poly fix my husband's cheating?Tue, 11 Jul 2017 23:16:32 +0000Listener Shanna calls in to ask if her willingness to be poly will help them get past her husband's cheating.

4:30 Poly in the News

5:15 Topic: will poly fix his cheating?

Listener Shanna calls in to say that her husband has cheated and she is open to polyamory. How do they move past the cheating and improve their relationship together?

22:40 Feedback

We learn the term “parrot gliding”!

23:45 Happy Poly Moment

Marie shared a happy poly moment in Swedish!

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Listener Shanna calls in to ask if her willingness to be poly will help them get past her husband's cheating. 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Listener Shanna calls in to say that her husband has cheated and she is open to polyamory. How do they move past the cheating and improve their relationship together?

22:40 Feedback

We learn the term “parrot gliding”!

23:45 Happy Poly Moment

Marie shared a happy poly moment in Swedish!

How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

1:00 Announcements

1:20 Poly in the News

4:30 Topic: when owning your shit isn’t enough

Listener A writes in to ask when owning your shit isn’t enough—how about treating your partner with compassion and care. Sometimes, people use “own your shit” to mean “I don’t want to do the work that a healthy relationship requires.” Where is the line between owning your shit and being compassionate and caring for your partner?

12:45 Feedback

A listener calls in to ask why women can have friendships with women but men can’t have friendships with men

Queen of Sodomy calls in from Iceland to question if the poly folks should join the GLBTQIA community

20:15 Happy Poly Moment

Ivan called in with a HPM about kids meeting metamours

21:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>What do you do when your partner dismisses your shit-owning? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Listener A writes in to ask when owning your shit isn’t enough—how about treating your partner with compassion and care. Sometimes, people use “own your shit” to mean “I don’t want to do the work that a healthy relationship requires.” Where is the line between owning your shit and being compassionate and caring for your partner?

A listener calls in to ask why women can have friendships with women but men can’t have friendships with men

Queen of Sodomy calls in from Iceland to question if the poly folks should join the GLBTQIA community

20:15 Happy Poly Moment

Ivan called in with a HPM about kids meeting metamours

21:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

17:15 Topic: I’m feeling displaced by my new metamour

New to Poly is feeling pushed aside by her partner’s relationship with her new metamour, with whom her partner is exploring BDSM. She is feeling displaced because her partner is repeatedly canceling or changing her established chats in order to make plans with her new metamour. Is it OK to feel this way?

31:00 Happy Poly Moment

34:20 Thank you!

Welcome Abby as a new playmate and thanks Leadra in Germany for the $69 donation!

17:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Is it OK that I am feeling displaced by my metamour? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

New to Poly is feeling pushed aside by her partner’s relationship with her new metamour, with whom her partner is exploring BDSM. She is feeling displaced because her partner is repeatedly canceling or changing her established chats in order to make plans with her new metamour. Is it OK to feel this way?

Welcome Abby as a new playmate and thanks Leadra in Germany for the $69 donation!

17:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

She has quite a few misconceptions! Here are the top six misconceptions I created a response video to clear up:

Most primates are monogamous Not true! 97% of mammals are nonmonogamous. Among the primates, a few monkeys and one ape, the gibbon, are monogamous. Every other species is nonmonogamous.

It’s all about the sex. She says she gets it’s not all about the sex, but then proceeds to spend six out of seven minutes talking about the sex. So… who’s making it all about the sex here?

Male sexuality always equals promiscuity, and female sexuality always equals monogamy and lack of sexual interest. This isn’t about sexual dimorphism; it’s about people’s individual orientations. Male sexuality doesn’t equal promiscuity, and female sexuality doesn’t equal monogamy and a lack of sexual interest. In fact, did you know that, when approaching poly from the point of view of a couple, it’s usually the woman’s idea to open up?

If a lifestyle wouldn’t work for me, it couldn’t possibly work for anyone else. Mayim talks about how relationships take time and energy, and she couldn’t imagine having enough focus for another partner in addition to her spouse and kids. Great! But, just as she chose how many kids she could bring into her life and love and care for, consenting adults also get to choose how many partners they can bring into their lives to love.

Poly practitioners are at higher risk for STIs. Wrong! The people at highest risk for STIs are those who are uneducated about transmission methods, who prefer lying or cheating to honest communication and who don’t get tested regularly and share those results with their partners. In fact, STI rates tend to be lower among polyamorists because we educate and communicate without shame about STIs.

People only practice polyamory because they are unhappy in their existing relationships. Wrong again! Well, OK. Sometimes this does happen. But most people practice polyamory, non-monogamy or relationship anarchy because it’s the truest expression of themselves. And by the way, not all non-monogamy starts with a couple. Plenty of people are solo poly.

A listener calls in to say that she was interrviewed for that NYT Magazine article and is glad her story wasn’t included with those who came to poly from cheating

AggieSez chastises the journalist for not following journalism 101: not getting direct quotes from people who were not the married partners. If the whole premise is that other people are involved but you never interview or quote those partners, you’re leaving out a huge part of the story! She’s putting together a media guide for journalists wanting to cover poly!

14:40 Happy Poly Moment

Free wrote in to share an HPM about helping out a partner’s sick kid. Parenting happy poly moment for the win!

17:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

She has quite a few misconceptions! Here are the top six misconceptions I created a response video to clear up:

Most primates are monogamous Not true! 97% of mammals are nonmonogamous. Among the primates, a few monkeys and one ape, the gibbon, are monogamous. Every other species is nonmonogamous.

It’s all about the sex. She says she gets it’s not all about the sex, but then proceeds to spend six out of seven minutes talking about the sex. So… who’s making it all about the sex here?

Male sexuality always equals promiscuity, and female sexuality always equals monogamy and lack of sexual interest. This isn’t about sexual dimorphism; it’s about people’s individual orientations. Male sexuality doesn’t equal promiscuity, and female sexuality doesn’t equal monogamy and a lack of sexual interest. In fact, did you know that, when approaching poly from the point of view of a couple, it’s usually the woman’s idea to open up?

If a lifestyle wouldn’t work for me, it couldn’t possibly work for anyone else. Mayim talks about how relationships take time and energy, and she couldn’t imagine having enough focus for another partner in addition to her spouse and kids. Great! But, just as she chose how many kids she could bring into her life and love and care for, consenting adults also get to choose how many partners they can bring into their lives to love.

Poly practitioners are at higher risk for STIs. Wrong! The people at highest risk for STIs are those who are uneducated about transmission methods, who prefer lying or cheating to honest communication and who don’t get tested regularly and share those results with their partners. In fact, STI rates tend to be lower among polyamorists because we educate and communicate without shame about STIs.

People only practice polyamory because they are unhappy in their existing relationships. Wrong again! Well, OK. Sometimes this does happen. But most people practice polyamory, non-monogamy or relationship anarchy because it’s the truest expression of themselves. And by the way, not all non-monogamy starts with a couple. Plenty of people are solo poly.

A listener calls in to say that she was interrviewed for that NYT Magazine article and is glad her story wasn’t included with those who came to poly from cheating

AggieSez chastises the journalist for not following journalism 101: not getting direct quotes from people who were not the married partners. If the whole premise is that other people are involved but you never interview or quote those partners, you’re leaving out a huge part of the story! She’s putting together a media guide for journalists wanting to cover poly!

14:40 Happy Poly Moment

Free wrote in to share an HPM about helping out a partner’s sick kid. Parenting happy poly moment for the win!

17:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

23:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>A chat with podcaster and author Cooper S. Beckett about his new novel, Approaching the Swingularity.

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>25:02yesfiction,the,novel,polyamory,poly,nonmonogamy,cooper,s,swinging,approaching,beckett,swingularity13520full519: Can you be introverted and poly?Thu, 01 Jun 2017 20:51:36 +0000A listener calls in from Japan to ask if one can be successfully poly if one is introverted.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:30 Announcements

A listener writes in from Japan to ask if it’s possible to come across as anything other than lonely and desperate when you’re introverted and poly. Then he calls in a few weeks later to say that, after reading our books and listening to our podcasts, he feels GREAT and is good to go!

14:15 Feedback

Alex asked about my idea of improving the relationships I enter and what Lusty Guy and L would say Minx has improved their relationship? L’s list:

L got a friendship with Minx, a cleaner house, international vacations, an active social calendar

LustyGuy has more energy and has discovered the value of an attractive, organized space

25:15 Happy Poly Moment

29:45 Thank you!

Thanks to anonymous, Kerstin and JA for becoming playmates and for donating to PW!

30:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>A listener calls in from Japan to ask if one can be successfully poly if one is introverted. 0:00 Introduction and host chat

A listener writes in from Japan to ask if it’s possible to come across as anything other than lonely and desperate when you’re introverted and poly. Then he calls in a few weeks later to say that, after reading our books and listening to our podcasts, he feels GREAT and is good to go!

Alex asked about my idea of improving the relationships I enter and what Lusty Guy and L would say Minx has improved their relationship? L’s list:

L got a friendship with Minx, a cleaner house, international vacations, an active social calendar

LustyGuy has more energy and has discovered the value of an attractive, organized space

25:15 Happy Poly Moment 29:45 Thank you!

Thanks to anonymous, Kerstin and JA for becoming playmates and for donating to PW!

30:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>31:39yesdating,polyamory,poly,introvert,introverted13519full518: That NYT Magazine articleTue, 30 May 2017 04:52:45 +0000Kevin Patterson and Ruby Bouie Johnson join the team to review that NYT Magazine article on open marriage from May 11.

25:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>26:16yesnew,york,polyamory,poly,media,times,representation,nyt13518full517: STIs for dummiesThu, 11 May 2017 13:00:00 +0000Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares her insights on the testing and transmission of four key STIs

1:30 Announcements and host chat

3:10 Topic:

Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares the key takeaways from her RelateCon presentation on The Sensible Slut, a review of the transmission and testing methods of the top four STIs: chlamydia, HPV, HSV and HIV. Contact her via Utah Poly.

28:10 Feedback

Listener K writes in to talk about the newbie poly mistakes they made and to express gratitude at the educational materials PW provides so they don’t feel so alone!

30:05 Thanks

Thanks to our newest anonymous PW Playmate!

29:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares her insights on the testing and transmission of four key STIs 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Jenn Stauffer of Utah Poly shares the key takeaways from her RelateCon presentation on The Sensible Slut, a review of the transmission and testing methods of the top four STIs: chlamydia, HPV, HSV and HIV. Contact her via Utah Poly.

28:10 Feedback

Listener K writes in to talk about the newbie poly mistakes they made and to express gratitude at the educational materials PW provides so they don’t feel so alone!

30:05 Thanks

Thanks to our newest anonymous PW Playmate!

29:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>31:05yespolyamory,poly,sex,safe,safer,testing,std,transmission,sti13517full516: The Art of Three poly romance novelThu, 04 May 2017 13:00:00 +0000An interview with Racheline Maltese, co-author of a new poly romance novel.

8:30 Interview: Racheline, co-author of The Art of Three poly romance novel

Racheline Maltese can fly a plane, sail a boat, and ride a horse, but has no idea how to drive a car; she’s based in Brooklyn. Erin McRae has a graduate degree in international affairs for which she focused on the role of social media in the Arab Spring; she’s based in Washington DC. Together, they write romance – often queer, often poly -- about fame and public life. Their work is currently available with, or forthcoming from, publishers including Cleis, Dreamspinner, Riptide, and Simon & Schuster’s Saga Press. As hybrid authors, they also independently publish. Like everyone in the 21st century, they met on the Internet.

28:30 Feedback

33:45 Happy poly moment

Meredith writes in with a sweet family happy poly moment

35:45 Thanks

Thanks to Manfred and Natalie and welcome Stephanie to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

36:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Racheline Maltese can fly a plane, sail a boat, and ride a horse, but has no idea how to drive a car; she’s based in Brooklyn. Erin McRae has a graduate degree in international affairs for which she focused on the role of social media in the Arab Spring; she’s based in Washington DC. Together, they write romance – often queer, often poly -- about fame and public life. Their work is currently available with, or forthcoming from, publishers including Cleis, Dreamspinner, Riptide, and Simon & Schuster’s Saga Press. As hybrid authors, they also independently publish. Like everyone in the 21st century, they met on the Internet.

Thanks to Manfred and Natalie and welcome Stephanie to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

36:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:30 Announcements and host chat

5:15 Topic: help! Compersion squicks me!

Lauren has been married to her husband for 24 years and non-monogamous (mostly swinging) for 12. Five years ago, she discovered he had cheated, and they worked through it. Now they date separately. And while he loves hearing what she does on her dates, but Lauren is grossed out even thinking about what he does on his dates.

15:30 Feedback

Matthew writes in to say he tried the And then what? exercise to deal with jealousy/fear/insecurity but didn’t think he learned anything from it.

21:45 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in with a happy poly moment of her triad going really well, metamours and all!

25:00 Thanks

25:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Lauren has been married to her husband for 24 years and non-monogamous (mostly swinging) for 12. Five years ago, she discovered he had cheated, and they worked through it. Now they date separately. And while he loves hearing what she does on her dates, but Lauren is grossed out even thinking about what he does on his dates.

15:30 Feedback

Matthew writes in to say he tried the And then what? exercise to deal with jealousy/fear/insecurity but didn’t think he learned anything from it.

21:45 Happy poly moment

A listener writes in with a happy poly moment of her triad going really well, metamours and all!

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>27:28yespolyamory,poly,frubble,jealousy,compersion13515full514: How do I tell my partner no?Fri, 21 Apr 2017 19:23:11 +0000How do I say "no" to a reasonable request from my partner?

0:00 Introduction and host chat

1:30 Announcements and host chat

3:45 Topic: how do I tell my partner no?

Eva writes in to ask how to tell her partner no to a request. Her partner Lisa wants an additional date night each week, but Eva doesn’t feel she can give that and wants to take time to settle into her nesting relationship with Denise. How does she say no to Lisa?

23:15 Happy poly moment

Kevin shares a happy family poly moment

24:45 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>How do I say "no" to a reasonable request from my partner? 0:00 Introduction and host chat

Eva writes in to ask how to tell her partner no to a request. Her partner Lisa wants an additional date night each week, but Eva doesn’t feel she can give that and wants to take time to settle into her nesting relationship with Denise. How does she say no to Lisa?

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>25:39yestime,no,polyamory,poly,management,saying,boundaries13514full513: Does dating poly make me poly?Mon, 17 Apr 2017 04:34:11 +0000If I'm dating a poly married guy, am I poly? Can he be my core relationship? If I want a core relationship, do I have to go back to being monogamous?

1:30 Announcements and host chat

5:45 Poly in the news

10:45 Topic: does dating poly make me poly?

A listener writes in to ask how to manage her self-identity as she is dating a man in a couple—what happens when she is ready to focus on a core relationship? Does she disclose her existing relationship? Break it off to pursue monogamy? Or can her sweetie be her core relationship?

You got questions; we’ve got answers!

26:20 Thank you!

Thanks to Spirit, and Craig for their donations! And welcome Blackbird, Fernando, Toby and Brenda to the Playmates!

28:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>If I'm dating a poly married guy, am I poly? Can he be my core relationship? If I want a core relationship, do I have to go back to being monogamous?

A listener writes in to ask how to manage her self-identity as she is dating a man in a couple—what happens when she is ready to focus on a core relationship? Does she disclose her existing relationship? Break it off to pursue monogamy? Or can her sweetie be her core relationship?

You got questions; we’ve got answers!

26:20 Thank you!

Thanks to Spirit, and Craig for their donations! And welcome Blackbird, Fernando, Toby and Brenda to the Playmates!

28:50 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>29:46yesdating,polyamory,poly,relationship,core,anchor13513full512: How do I avoid being ghosted?Wed, 12 Apr 2017 01:34:46 +0000My partner of seven months ghosted me. How can I avoid this in the future? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

23:30 Feedback

25:00 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>27:11yesdating,polyamory,poly,relationships,ghosting,ghosted13512full511: My metamour wants me to be out of the closetWed, 29 Mar 2017 22:29:58 +0000Help! My metamour wants to post about her relationship on social media, but I'm in the closet, which means she must be, too. Who decides when I come out?

1:30 Announcements and host chat

Do you love us? Tell a friend about us using #trypod (try this podcast)

4:25 Topic: who decides when I come out as poly?

M writes in to ask: my metamour Nina wants me to be out as poly so she can post about her relationship on social media and is convinced that M is only not coming out so she can hold on to her primary status. What to do?

20:20 Feedback

Alan wrote in to verify that yes, it’s usually the woman who asks for polyamory and to say he finds that Lusty Guy’s hedonism will give our opponents ammunition to use against polyamory

32:00 Happy poly moment

Jodi shares a first public happy poly moment

33:30 How to make this podcast better

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>Help! My metamour wants to post about her relationship on social media, but I'm in the closet, which means she must be, too. Who decides when I come out?

Do you love us? Tell a friend about us using #trypod (try this podcast)

4:25 Topic: who decides when I come out as poly?

M writes in to ask: my metamour Nina wants me to be out as poly so she can post about her relationship on social media and is convinced that M is only not coming out so she can hold on to her primary status. What to do?

20:20 Feedback

Alan wrote in to verify that yes, it’s usually the woman who asks for polyamory and to say he finds that Lusty Guy’s hedonism will give our opponents ammunition to use against polyamory

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com and attach an audio comment or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY. Friend us on Twitter or Facebook, leave a comment here. Check out Poly Weekly podcasts at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!Our intro and outro music is courtesy ofPacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

]]>50:03yespodcast,to,smart,girls,polyamory,poly,book,guide,author,winston,multiamory,dedeker13510full509: Loving less after a triad implosionThu, 16 Mar 2017 13:00:00 +0000Loving half a couple after a triad implodes. A listener asks: how do I love only the wife after our triad implodes and her husband won't talk to me? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>Loving half a couple after a triad implodes. A listener asks: how do I love only the wife after our triad implodes and her husband won't talk to me? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>35:07yespolyamory,poly,dallas,johnson,ruby,therapist,millennium,activist,lcsw,bouie13508full507: How do I get control of my fears?Thu, 02 Mar 2017 21:22:36 +0000How do I get control of my own fears to be able to handle poly sex situations better? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>31:55yespolyamory,poly,sex,fear,jealousy,insecurity13507full506: What if I love him more than he loves me?Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:20:29 +0000What if I love him more than he loves me? Should I run to avoid risking deep emotional pain? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What if I love him more than he loves me? Should I run to avoid risking deep emotional pain? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>21:15yeslove,dating,polyamory,poly,disparity13506full505: How do I know if poly is right for me?Sun, 19 Feb 2017 04:29:16 +0000We are trying poly for the first time; it was his idea. I like the idea, but I'm having a hard time. At what point do I decide if poly just isn't right for me? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>We are trying poly for the first time; it was his idea. I like the idea, but I'm having a hard time. At what point do I decide if poly just isn't right for me? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>29:19yestime,new,open,up,first,polyamory,poly,relationship,opening13505full504: Solo Poly with AggieSezThu, 09 Feb 2017 14:00:00 +0000Solo poly and getting off the relationship escalator with Aggie Sez. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>29:59yesonline,dating,polyamory,poly,profile,okcupid13502full501: Is it poly, or is it me?Thu, 19 Jan 2017 14:00:00 +0000If three partners ran off to be in monogamous relationships, does that mean that poly doesn't work for me? Or is it me that isn't working? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>34:06yesdan,polyamory,nonmonogamy,savage,monogamish13500fullPW 499: Coming out to your doctorThu, 05 Jan 2017 14:00:00 +0000How and when to come out to your doctor and how to advocate for yourself when asking for STI screenings. Visit www.polyweekly.com for full show notes and episode archives. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.facebook.com/polyweekly.]]>How and when to come out to your doctor and how to advocate for yourself when asking for STI screenings. Visit www.polyweekly.com for full show notes and episode archives. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.facebook.com/polyweekly.]]>41:05yesmedical,doctor,polyamory,poly,coming,out,testing,std,screening,sti13499fullPW 498: Help with CompersionWed, 21 Dec 2016 15:40:34 +0000Meet the creator and partial cast of Compersion, the new poly web series, who are not only awesome but fundraising for season two! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>17:36yespolyamory,poly,relationship,labels,partners12494fullPW 493: Asking for positive reinforcementFri, 11 Nov 2016 03:55:10 +0000We react to the U.S. presidential election. A listener writes in to ask what to do when you ask a partner to tell you you are loved and that your relationship is important, but the partner refuses to do so. Do you work on your insecurities that require the behavior? Get therapy? Or just leave? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>We react to the U.S. presidential election. A listener writes in to ask what to do when you ask a partner to tell you you are loved and that your relationship is important, but the partner refuses to do so. Do you work on your insecurities that require the behavior? Get therapy? Or just leave? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>36:17norelationship,positive,jealousy,insecurity,reinforcement12493fullPW 492: Asking out your metamoursThu, 27 Oct 2016 22:37:24 +0000Is it OK to hit on my metamours? How do I do that without appearing lazy? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly

]]>44:02yesfitness,image,polyamory,poly,health,body11453fullPW 452: Poly on a budgetThu, 29 Oct 2015 13:00:00 +0000Polyamory can be expensive! Koe and Minx share tips on how to live and date on a budget.

]]>42:11yesmoney,polyamory,budget11452fullPW 451: Being party to a lieThu, 22 Oct 2015 13:00:00 +0000In a polyamorous relationship, is it OK to be party to someone else's lie? Is choosing not to facilitate a lie imposing your ethics on others? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>In a polyamorous relationship, is it OK to be party to someone else's lie? Is choosing not to facilitate a lie imposing your ethics on others? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>32:17yespolyamory,poly,ethics,lie,lying11451fullPW 450: My metamour is a *&%$! to meThu, 15 Oct 2015 15:00:00 +0000What do I do if my metamour ignores, snubs or is rude to me? Can I ask my partner not to see her any more? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What do I do if my metamour ignores, snubs or is rude to me? Can I ask my partner not to see her any more? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>30:41yespolyamory,veto,metamour,snub11450fullPW 449: Teaching consent at any ageThu, 08 Oct 2015 13:00:00 +0000When and how do you teach kids consent? Alyssa Royse tells us! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>When and how do you teach kids consent? Alyssa Royse tells us! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>33:55yeskids,family,consent11449fullPW 448: What to do when you see gaslightingThu, 24 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +0000What to do when you see gaslighting. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What to do when you see gaslighting. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:28yesabuse,emotional,gaslighting11448fullPW 447: Poly people of colorThu, 17 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +0000A discussion of diversity within the poly community with Brandon, Rompas and Koe. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>A discussion of diversity within the poly community with Brandon, Rompas and Koe. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>47:34yes11447fullPW 446: Kissing and... how much telling?Thu, 10 Sep 2015 12:00:00 +0000How much sexual detail about one partner do you share with others? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How much sexual detail about one partner do you share with others? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>26:34yessharing,polyamory,poly,explicit,sexual11446fullPW 445: How to be a trans allyThu, 03 Sep 2015 12:00:00 +0000Minx and LustyGuy chat with Oblio about how to be a trans ally. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Minx and LustyGuy chat with Oblio about how to be a trans ally. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>27:44yespolyamory,poly,trans,transgender,genderqueer11445fullPW 444 When to stop lyingThu, 27 Aug 2015 11:00:00 +0000Facing the HSV stigma and when to stop lying about whom you're dating. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Facing the HSV stigma and when to stop lying about whom you're dating. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>29:43yesdating,stigma,closet,lying,hsv11444fullPW 443: So you wanna be Poly Wan KenobiThu, 20 Aug 2015 12:00:00 +0000Koe Creation cohosts and gives advice on dating newbies and being their introduction to polyamory. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Koe Creation cohosts and gives advice on dating newbies and being their introduction to polyamory. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>22:20yespolyamory,guide,sherpa,newbie11443fullPW 442: How I Knew I Was TransThu, 13 Aug 2015 12:00:00 +0000An interview with Cass in Eugene, OR courtesy of As You Like It. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>An interview with Cass in Eugene, OR courtesy of As You Like It. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>26:32yespolyamory,poly,trans,transgender11442fullPW 441: How to have a threesomeFri, 07 Aug 2015 04:12:42 +0000Wanna have a threesome? Sexpert Reid Mihalko shares his tips for getting past the awkward and to the fun! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Wanna have a threesome? Sexpert Reid Mihalko shares his tips for getting past the awkward and to the fun! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>50:18yessex,reid,threesome,mihalko11441fullPW 440: A chat with Janet HardyMon, 03 Aug 2015 03:49:25 +0000Q&A with Janet Hardy at As You Like It in Eugene, Oregon. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Q&A with Janet Hardy at As You Like It in Eugene, Oregon. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>36:11yespolyamory,poly,ethical,slut,janet,hardy11440fullPW 439: How to come out to your social circlesTue, 28 Jul 2015 00:02:11 +0000How and when do I come out to my social circle, especially that cute guy/gal that I like? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How and when do I come out to my social circle, especially that cute guy/gal that I like? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>23:42yespolyamory,poly,coming,out11439fullPW 438: Is poly marriage legalization next?Sun, 12 Jul 2015 03:06:31 +0000The Supreme Court dissenters mention the slippery slope towards poly marriage as an argument against marriage equality. So is plural marriage next? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>The Supreme Court dissenters mention the slippery slope towards poly marriage as an argument against marriage equality. So is plural marriage next? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>40:14yesmarriage,polyamory,poly,legal,court,supreme,plural,legalization11438fullPW 437: Talking about moneySun, 28 Jun 2015 03:40:12 +0000Uncomfortable talks about money. If you're the breadwinner, would you give your partner money for a date? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Uncomfortable talks about money. If you're the breadwinner, would you give your partner money for a date? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>24:22yes11437fullPW 436: Dating your speciesFri, 19 Jun 2015 05:06:05 +0000Reid Mihalko, the original sex geek, shares how to date your species. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Reid Mihalko, the original sex geek, shares how to date your species. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>47:05yesdating,date,sex,geek,your,reid,species,mihalko11436fullPW 435: Metamour fearsFri, 12 Jun 2015 04:05:29 +0000What do you do when you're intimidated by your unmet metamour? Meet her! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What do you do when you're intimidated by your unmet metamour? Meet her! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:12yespolyamory,poly,jealous,metamour,insecure11435fullPW 434: Five things that suck about polyamoryThu, 04 Jun 2015 16:26:35 +0000Let's talk about what is really tough about being polyamorous in today's modern culture: five things that suck about polyamory. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Let's talk about what is really tough about being polyamorous in today's modern culture: five things that suck about polyamory. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>30:43yespolyamory,poly,culture,list,bad,suck11434fullPW 433: Breaking up is hard to doMon, 25 May 2015 06:05:57 +0000Breaking up is hard to do! How to cope with a poly breakup when losing a partner/metamour that you and your hubbie each feel differently about. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Breaking up is hard to do! How to cope with a poly breakup when losing a partner/metamour that you and your hubbie each feel differently about. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>43:30yesup,polyamory,poly,breaking,breakup11433fullPW 432: Navigating poly vacationsMon, 18 May 2015 15:59:28 +0000Navigating poly vacations. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Navigating poly vacations. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>40:15yespolyamory,poly,vacation11432fullPW 431: Dating a dishonest monogamistThu, 07 May 2015 16:29:27 +0000Takeaways from dating a dishonest monogamist with Minx and LustyGuy. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Takeaways from dating a dishonest monogamist with Minx and LustyGuy. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>29:53yesdating,polyamory,poly,monogamist11431fullPW 430: Don't try polyamory before listening to thisMon, 27 Apr 2015 02:22:15 +0000Know what everyone fears about polyamory--jealousy, being displaced, change? Those aren't what destroy relationships. Koe Creation and Cunning Minx review what does frak up relationships by referencing Veaux's and Rickert's Relationship Bill of Rights. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Know what everyone fears about polyamory--jealousy, being displaced, change? Those aren't what destroy relationships. Koe Creation and Cunning Minx review what does frak up relationships by referencing Veaux's and Rickert's Relationship Bill of Rights. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>38:50yesof,polyamory,poly,relationship,bill,rights,creation,koe11430fullPW 429: OMG Girl Sex with Allison MoonMon, 20 Apr 2015 01:04:55 +0000OMG girl sex 101 with Allison Moon Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>OMG girl sex 101 with Allison Moon Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>37:36yes11429fullPW 428: Bawdy songstress Rachel LarkFri, 10 Apr 2015 23:51:11 +0000Bawdy songstress Rachel Lark tells how she went from angsty love songs to wildly popular naughty songs for Bawdy storytelling. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Bawdy songstress Rachel Lark tells how she went from angsty love songs to wildly popular naughty songs for Bawdy storytelling. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>37:37yespolyamory,songs,rachel,lark,naughty,bawdy11428fullPW 427: Poly geezers with Ken HaslamMon, 06 Apr 2015 20:38:12 +0000Ever wonder about those poly folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s? Join the original poly geezer Ken Haslam to talk about polyamory over 60! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Ever wonder about those poly folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s? Join the original poly geezer Ken Haslam to talk about polyamory over 60! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>41:50yespolyamory,poly,ken,senior,haslam,geezer11427fullPW 426: What YOU wish you'd known about polyMon, 30 Mar 2015 02:45:47 +0000In this 10-year anniversary episode, listeners share what they wish they'd known about poly, and Minx shares what she's learned from 10 years of podcasting with y'all. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>In this 10-year anniversary episode, listeners share what they wish they'd known about poly, and Minx shares what she's learned from 10 years of podcasting with y'all. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>22:51yespolyamory,poly,sex,anniversary11426fullPW 425: Dating again at 37Fri, 20 Mar 2015 23:30:36 +0000How to start dating in your 30s after divorcing the only partner you've ever had! Koe Creation cohosts. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How to start dating in your 30s after divorcing the only partner you've ever had! Koe Creation cohosts. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>30:14yesdating,polyamory,cunning,minx,divorce,creation,midlife,koe11425fullPW 424: My suggestion backfired! Now what?Sun, 15 Mar 2015 18:29:24 +0000What do you do when your well-intended solution to a relationship problem backfires? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What do you do when your well-intended solution to a relationship problem backfires? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>23:17yescommunication,relationship,cunning,minx,solution,argument11424fullPW 423: How to feel specialSat, 07 Mar 2015 21:18:43 +0000How to feel special when you're not the only romantic partner in a poly relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How to feel special when you're not the only romantic partner in a poly relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>40:08yespolyamory,poly,relationship,special,secondary,unique11423fullPW 422: Cooper's life on the swingsetThu, 26 Feb 2015 22:34:23 +0000If you like Cooper Beckett on the Life on the Swingset podcast, you'll love this episode! Cooper talks about his new memoir, My Life on the Swingset, documenting his adventures in swinging and polyamory and gives us a special treat! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>If you like Cooper Beckett on the Life on the Swingset podcast, you'll love this episode! Cooper talks about his new memoir, My Life on the Swingset, documenting his adventures in swinging and polyamory and gives us a special treat! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>54:57yesthe,on,life,polyamory,cooper,memoir,swinging,beckett,swingset11422fullPW 421: Poly didn't work, but I still want it!Mon, 23 Feb 2015 03:06:41 +0000Diva and the Don call in to share their epic poly fail, own their shit and to ask how to recover from a classic episode of poly drama due to lack of faithfulness and abundance of micromanagement. LustyGuy cohosts. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Diva and the Don call in to share their epic poly fail, own their shit and to ask how to recover from a classic episode of poly drama due to lack of faithfulness and abundance of micromanagement. LustyGuy cohosts. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>27:13yesdrama,polyamory,poly,relationship,trust,fail,faithful11421fullPW 420: New voice on poly and disabilitiesSat, 14 Feb 2015 01:00:33 +0000A new poly activist shares her thoughts on being poly with disabilities. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>A new poly activist shares her thoughts on being poly with disabilities. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>33:55yespoly,disability,polyamorous11420fullPW 419: Long distance relationshipsFri, 30 Jan 2015 19:12:23 +0000Koe and Minx cohost this podcast on defining and sustaining long distance relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Koe and Minx cohost this podcast on defining and sustaining long distance relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>33:16yespolyamory,poly,long,relationships,distance,koe11419fullPW 418: Emotional abuseSat, 24 Jan 2015 02:38:07 +0000Shannon Perez-Derby of the Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse, shares how to recognize, survive and support both survivors and perpetrators of emotional abuse. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Shannon Perez-Derby of the Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse, shares how to recognize, survive and support both survivors and perpetrators of emotional abuse. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>36:56yespolyamory,poly,abuse,glbt,survivor,emotional,abuser11418fullPW 417: Senior Sex with Joan PriceFri, 16 Jan 2015 01:55:23 +0000Senior sex kitten Joan Price shares the secrets of hot sex over 50. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Senior sex kitten Joan Price shares the secrets of hot sex over 50. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>43:08yespolyamory,poly,sex,over,senior,50,mature,joan,price11417fullPW 416: Growing up poly, the badSat, 10 Jan 2015 00:49:30 +0000Is growing up in a poly household bad for the kids? Join Tiana, Susie and Koe, the adult children of polyamorous homes, as they share some of the negative effects of their upbringing. For the positive effects, check out episode 415. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Is growing up in a poly household bad for the kids? Join Tiana, Susie and Koe, the adult children of polyamorous homes, as they share some of the negative effects of their upbringing. For the positive effects, check out episode 415. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>26:55yesup,polyamory,poly,kids,family,children,household,growing,raising11416fullPW 415: Growing up poly, the good stuffThu, 01 Jan 2015 14:00:00 +0000Koe, Tiana and Susie all grew up in polyamorous households. Listen as they discuss what it was like to grow up with awareness of polyamory and as they share their insights as to the positive effects of being raised in a poly home. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Koe, Tiana and Susie all grew up in polyamorous households. Listen as they discuss what it was like to grow up with awareness of polyamory and as they share their insights as to the positive effects of being raised in a poly home. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>35:02yespolyamory,poly,kids,family,children,household,raising11415fullPW 414: Meeting LustyGuy's wife and my metamour, L!Fri, 26 Dec 2014 15:25:38 +0000LustyGuy's wife and my metamour L shares her take on non-monogamy, jealousy and the secrets to non-monogamous relationship longevity. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>LustyGuy's wife and my metamour L shares her take on non-monogamy, jealousy and the secrets to non-monogamous relationship longevity. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>34:09yesnews,polyamory,poly,l,wife,cunning,minx,metamour,lustyguy10414fullPW 413: Polly Superstar!Thu, 18 Dec 2014 23:58:21 +0000Poly in the news; interview with Polly Superstar about her new memoir, Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary; More Than Two winners announced; Happy Poly Moment of the week. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Poly in the news; interview with Polly Superstar about her new memoir, Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary; More Than Two winners announced; Happy Poly Moment of the week. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>49:23nopolyamory,poly,kinky,control,more,than,mission,two,polly,salon,superstar10413fullPW 412: Relationship "rules" of orderFri, 12 Dec 2014 22:14:18 +0000LustyGuy shares relationship best practices for relationships that kept him and L together in polyamory for 30 years. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>LustyGuy shares relationship best practices for relationships that kept him and L together in polyamory for 30 years. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>33:00yespolyamory,poly,relationship,best,practices,rules10412fullPW 411: Poly for the holidaysSun, 07 Dec 2014 22:58:55 +0000Advice from FBI hostage negotiators on dealing with your family over the holidays. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Advice from FBI hostage negotiators on dealing with your family over the holidays. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>23:46yesnews,holidays,polyamory,poly,family,advice,fbi,christmas,thanksgiving,cunning,minx,negotiators10411fullPoly Weekly 410: The world according to GottmanFri, 28 Nov 2014 00:42:39 +0000A quick overview of psychologist John Gottman's research on relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>A quick overview of psychologist John Gottman's research on relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>37:52yesmarriage,anger,relationship,psychology,research,cunning,minx,gottman,microexpressions,bids,lustyguy10410fullPW 409: Poly and disabilitiesFri, 21 Nov 2014 05:08:27 +0000What you need to know about polyamory and disabilities with special guest Shanna Katz. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What you need to know about polyamory and disabilities with special guest Shanna Katz. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>43:30yespolyamory,poly,disability,accessibility,cunning,minx,ptsd,shanna,katz,disabled10409fullPW 408: Time enough for love?Thu, 06 Nov 2014 14:00:00 +0000Is he not that into me or is this how secondaries are treated? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Is he not that into me or is this how secondaries are treated? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>18:22yestime,calendar,dating,polyamory,cunning,minx,secondary,scheduling10408fullPW 407: Poly ethics with Franklin Veaux and Eve RickertThu, 30 Oct 2014 21:29:10 +0000A chat on ethics, the book tour and more with the co-authors of More Than Two, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>A chat on ethics, the book tour and more with the co-authors of More Than Two, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>44:44yesfranklin,polyamory,nonmonogamy,eve,more,than,two,ethics,cunning,minx,veaux,ethical,rickert10407fullPW 406: Negotiating from a "no"Thu, 23 Oct 2014 17:17:09 +0000Negotiating from a "no." Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Negotiating from a "no." Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>14:22yesyou,for,relationships,shit,your,what,own,want,negotiation,asking,negotiate10406fullPW 405: Testing the poly waters with a monogamistThu, 16 Oct 2014 15:35:29 +0000Testing the poly waters with a long-time friend who is also monogamous. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Testing the poly waters with a long-time friend who is also monogamous. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>22:27yespolyamory,coming,friendship,out,friend,monogamous,polymono10405fullPW 404: Is he poly or just chicken?Tue, 07 Oct 2014 03:33:54 +0000Is he poly or just chicken? When the point of your vee won't communicate with your metamour, what do you do? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Is he poly or just chicken? When the point of your vee won't communicate with your metamour, what do you do? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:11yescommunication,poly,cunning,minx,primary,polyamorous,vee,monogamous10404fullPW 403: Striking while the iron is coldWed, 24 Sep 2014 13:00:00 +0000Striking while the iron is cold: should you bring in a new poly partner when your current partner agreed to it years ago and you've become distant in the meantime? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Striking while the iron is cold: should you bring in a new poly partner when your current partner agreed to it years ago and you've become distant in the meantime? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>27:09yesnew,cold,polyamory,poly,partner,stale,distant,estranged,catalystcon,ccon,cunningminx10403fullPW 402: Poly Weekly live at CatalystConFri, 19 Sep 2014 03:13:54 +0000Poly Weekly live at CatalystCon West with special guests Reid Mihalko and Charlie Glickman! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Poly Weekly live at CatalystCon West with special guests Reid Mihalko and Charlie Glickman! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>53:51yespolyamory,poly,reid,charlie,mihalko,glickman,catalystcon,ccon,cconminx10402fullPW 401: Fuzzy landminesMon, 08 Sep 2014 23:01:53 +0000Fuzzy landmines and invisible fences that the person entering an existing relationship often encounters--and how to make sure you're not the one making them! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Fuzzy landmines and invisible fences that the person entering an existing relationship often encounters--and how to make sure you're not the one making them! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>29:00yespolyamory,poly,fuzzy,secondary,solo,landmines,aggiesez,nebulous10401fullPW 400: Polyamory for introvertsMon, 01 Sep 2014 21:05:28 +0000Being poly with introverts with guest Dan, dawn and Karen of Beyond the Love! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Being poly with introverts with guest Dan, dawn and Karen of Beyond the Love! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>37:17yesdan,love,the,karen,dawn,beyond,introvert,extrovert10400fullPW 399: Poly MythbustersFri, 22 Aug 2014 22:18:24 +0000Your favorite myths about polyamory, busted once and for all! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Your favorite myths about polyamory, busted once and for all! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>26:54yespolyamory,poly,myths,mythbuster10399fullPW 398: Poly-mono mixFri, 15 Aug 2014 00:04:26 +0000How do you cope with the challenges of polyamory when you self-identify as monogamous? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do you cope with the challenges of polyamory when you self-identify as monogamous? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>26:13yespoly,mix,cunning,minx,mono,monogamous,lustyguy10398fullPW 397: Relationship land minesMon, 30 Jun 2014 03:20:57 +0000Minx and LustyGuy gives a few examples of relationship land mines for pre-pondering. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Minx and LustyGuy gives a few examples of relationship land mines for pre-pondering. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>23:30yespolyamory,poly,relationship,questions,land,cunning,minx,prepare,mines,lustyguy10397fullPW 396: Minx gets bawdyMon, 23 Jun 2014 03:05:04 +0000LustyGuy and Minx review the one-woman poly play Lust & Marriage and discuss an article on whether women want sex; Minx shares her Seattle Bawdy Storytelling experience! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>LustyGuy and Minx review the one-woman poly play Lust & Marriage and discuss an article on whether women want sex; Minx shares her Seattle Bawdy Storytelling experience! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>30:57yesmarriage,story,storytelling,obrien,minx,lust,eleanor,bawdy,lustyguy10396fullPW 395: Unbalanced triadsFri, 06 Jun 2014 04:28:07 +0000How do you cope when your triad is unbalanced, and your new lover is more into your husband than you? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do you cope when your triad is unbalanced, and your new lover is more into your husband than you? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>20:58yespolyamory,poly,relationship,nonmonogamy,coming,out,cunning,minx,triad,vee,bawdy,unbalanced10395fullPW 394: Minx comes out!Fri, 30 May 2014 19:04:58 +0000Minx comes out! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Minx comes out! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:29yespolyamory,poly,coming,family,out10394fullPW 393: How to treat your metamourMon, 19 May 2014 03:34:32 +0000How to treat your metamour. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How to treat your metamour. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>50:13yespolyamory,poly,relationships,discussion,cunning,minx,pronoun,infringement,they,usage,argument,metamour,vee10393fullPW 392: Everything you ever wanted to know about polySat, 10 May 2014 16:14:21 +0000Everything you ever wanted to know about polyamory but were afraid to ask, live from Debauchery! Attendees ask for and share advice on their poly queries. For full show notes, visit Poly Weekly.]]>Everything you ever wanted to know about polyamory but were afraid to ask, live from Debauchery! Attendees ask for and share advice on their poly queries. For full show notes, visit Poly Weekly.]]>01:12:38yespolyamory,poly,advice,debauchery10392fullPW 391: HPV HopeSat, 26 Apr 2014 16:03:20 +0000The straight dope on HPV with Danah Abarr of HPV Hope Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>The straight dope on HPV with Danah Abarr of HPV Hope Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>40:49yeshope,health,testing,std,minx,hpv,sti10391fullPW 390: How to date a girlSat, 19 Apr 2014 22:08:22 +0000How does a girl successfully and safely explore her bisexual side when in an existing heterosexual relationship? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How does a girl successfully and safely explore her bisexual side when in an existing heterosexual relationship? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>24:32yesdating,polyamory,poly,bisexual,lesbian,girl,explore10390fullPW 389: Intro to kink with MOLLENA!Fri, 11 Apr 2014 04:17:27 +0000How do you safely enter the kink community and find people to play with? Mollena Williams, co-author of Playing Well With Others, gives advice. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do you safely enter the kink community and find people to play with? Mollena Williams, co-author of Playing Well With Others, gives advice. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>47:07yesa,scene,kink,bdsm,top,community,find,dom,mollena,parter10389fullPW 388: It's not about youMon, 31 Mar 2014 02:17:04 +0000For those who wrote in to argue on the everyone is doing poly wrong episode, thank you! And I stand by my message of tolerance rather than policing. Here's why! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>For those who wrote in to argue on the everyone is doing poly wrong episode, thank you! And I stand by my message of tolerance rather than policing. Here's why! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>35:57yeslanguage,polyamory,poly,tolerance,policing10388fullPW 387: Is monogamy natural?Mon, 17 Mar 2014 03:47:46 +0000Are humans biologically or "naturally" monogamous, and why does it matter? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Are humans biologically or "naturally" monogamous, and why does it matter? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>24:03yesof,chris,sex,myth,biology,natural,ryan,dawn,at,helen,fisher,cunning,minx,monogamy,cultural,monogamous,anthrolopology10387fullPW 386: Telling the emperor he has no clothesSun, 09 Mar 2014 17:30:35 +0000Telling the emperor he has no clothes: how do you bring up to the couple you're dating that you see unhealthy dynamics in their relationship? Is it your business? How do you bring up an outsider's perspective to an intimate relationshipw without looking like a homewrecker? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Telling the emperor he has no clothes: how do you bring up to the couple you're dating that you see unhealthy dynamics in their relationship? Is it your business? How do you bring up an outsider's perspective to an intimate relationshipw without looking like a homewrecker? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>19:35yesdating,communication,up,polyamory,poly,couple,skills,issues,cunning,minx,bringing10385fullPW 385: Everyone is doing poly wrong, the podcastSun, 02 Mar 2014 19:45:13 +0000Everyone is doing poly wrong and needs to die in a fire: why we should stop poly policing and promote curiosity and tolerant conversation rather than enforcing One Way To Do Polyamory Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Everyone is doing poly wrong and needs to die in a fire: why we should stop poly policing and promote curiosity and tolerant conversation rather than enforcing One Way To Do Polyamory Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>30:16yespolyamory,poly,tolerance,cunning,minx,conversations,acceptance,rhetoric10385fullPW 384: Graydancer updateSun, 23 Feb 2014 17:02:43 +0000What is Graydancer up to these days? We catch up with him at Winter Wickedness. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What is Graydancer up to these days? We catch up with him at Winter Wickedness. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>34:37yeswinter,polyamory,poly,graydancer,shibari,rope,ropecast,wickedness10384fullPW 383: Poly for Valentine's DayFri, 14 Feb 2014 18:25:55 +0000How does one celebrate this sexy holiday when one has entered an existing relationship? Advice for a happy poly Valentine's Day. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How does one celebrate this sexy holiday when one has entered an existing relationship? Advice for a happy poly Valentine's Day. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>28:22yeswinter,polyamory,poly,holiday,day,cunning,minx,valentines,wickedness,vday10383fullPW 382: Poly for realzFri, 07 Feb 2014 21:16:28 +0000Poly for realz! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Poly for realz! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>32:52yespolyamory,poly,partner,selection10382fullPW 381: Poly-rope-a-palooza with Lee HarringtonThu, 30 Jan 2014 22:21:24 +0000How do polyamory and rope play intersect? An interview with Lee Harrington. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do polyamory and rope play intersect? An interview with Lee Harrington. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>39:34yeswinter,polyamory,poly,lee,sensual,harrington,shibari,rope,cunning,minx,wickedness10381fullPW 380: Advice from your secondarySat, 18 Jan 2014 02:18:08 +0000What your secondary wants you to know. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What your secondary wants you to know. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>28:22yesadvice,health,cunning,minx,secondary,aspergers,metamour,intake10380fullPW 379: Owning your shitMon, 30 Dec 2013 00:06:18 +0000What does it mean to "own your own shit"? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What does it mean to "own your own shit"? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>36:14yesshit,cunning,minx,responsibility,emotional,emotions,poo,baggage,lustyguy9379fullPW 378: Poly dating on OKCupidSun, 01 Dec 2013 02:28:49 +0000Poly dating on OKCupid. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Poly dating on OKCupid. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>28:50yesdating,polyamory,poly,match,site,cunning,minx,okcupid9378fullPW 377: What commitment meansSun, 24 Nov 2013 19:43:11 +0000Why have a commitment ceremony, and what does it mean to us? Minx and LustyGuy share the motivation behind their commitment ceremony as well as the ceremony itself. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Why have a commitment ceremony, and what does it mean to us? Minx and LustyGuy share the motivation behind their commitment ceremony as well as the ceremony itself. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>32:30yesmarriage,alternative,commitment,ceremony,handfasting9377fullPW 376: When to bow outMon, 11 Nov 2013 14:00:00 +0000When do you bow out of a relationship? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>When do you bow out of a relationship? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>14:02yesdeath,out,bow,terminal,cancer,cunning,minx,lustyguy9376fullPW 375: Minx's big announcementThu, 07 Nov 2013 20:16:47 +0000Minx's big announcement of an upcoming happy poly moment! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Minx's big announcement of an upcoming happy poly moment! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>27:47yesguy,polyamory,poly,happy,cunning,minx,lusty,moment,handfasting9375fullPW 374: Four mistakes couples make when opening upSat, 26 Oct 2013 02:02:50 +0000Four classic mistakes couples make when opening up their relationships and how to avoid them, all with our amazing guest, Marcia Baczynski Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Four classic mistakes couples make when opening up their relationships and how to avoid them, all with our amazing guest, Marcia Baczynski Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>36:52yespolyamory,poly,couples,cunning,minx,mistakes,marcia,successful,baczynski,nonomonogamy9374fullPW 373: Sex positive blowout at CatalystConFri, 18 Oct 2013 16:02:58 +0000Sex positive blowout at CatalystCon--the full report! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Sex positive blowout at CatalystCon--the full report! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>38:06yessex,positive,cunning,minx,catalystcon,ccon9373fullPW 372: Poly and progressive swingingSat, 12 Oct 2013 01:35:47 +0000Where polyamory and progressive swinging interact with Ginger, Dylan and Cooper of the Swingset podcast! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Where polyamory and progressive swinging interact with Ginger, Dylan and Cooper of the Swingset podcast! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>48:32yescooper,progressive,dylan,ginger,cunning,minx,swinging,beckett,swingset9372fullPW 371: Poly and sex workThu, 03 Oct 2013 20:49:25 +0000How does polyamory overlap with sex work? The lovely and talented Sabrina Morgan shares her insights.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How does polyamory overlap with sex work? The lovely and talented Sabrina Morgan shares her insights.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>35:25yeswork,polyamory,poly,sex,morgan,cunning,minx,sabrina,trafficking,worker,fetishist9371fullPW 370: Keeping one bad relationship from affecting othersThu, 26 Sep 2013 15:30:00 +0000How to keep one unhealthy or deteriorating relationship from affecting your other relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How to keep one unhealthy or deteriorating relationship from affecting your other relationships. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:12yespolyamory,poly,relationships,cunning,minx,unhealthy,deteriorating9370fullPW 369: Getting over the poly humpThu, 19 Sep 2013 21:46:09 +0000How do you come to accept and embrace polyamory when it wasn't your idea? Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, who are currently crowdfunding a new poly 101 book, give advice! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do you come to accept and embrace polyamory when it wasn't your idea? Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert, who are currently crowdfunding a new poly 101 book, give advice! Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>55:08yeslove,the,new,franklin,to,poly,book,eve,101,more,than,two,cunning,minx,veaux,beyond,rickert9369fullPW 368: Metamour cock blockFri, 13 Sep 2013 19:40:58 +0000What do you do when your metamour cuts off communications with you? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What do you do when your metamour cuts off communications with you? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>43:09yescommunication,guy,long,distance,cunning,minx,insecurity,lusty,secondary,metamour9368fullPW 367: A day in the life of a pro domme/submissiveThu, 05 Sep 2013 21:41:12 +0000A peek behind the curtain from a New York pro domme and submissive, immortalized in the film Remedy by Cheyenne Picardo. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>A peek behind the curtain from a New York pro domme and submissive, immortalized in the film Remedy by Cheyenne Picardo. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>46:38yeslove,the,film,franklin,pro,polyamory,poly,kink,bdsm,eve,cunning,minx,veaux,remedy,beyond,dom,cheyenne,submissive,rickert,picardo9367fullPW 366: Poly in small town AmericaSat, 31 Aug 2013 22:08:55 +0000How do you meet people and poly date when you live in small town America? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>How do you meet people and poly date when you live in small town America? Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>25:45yessmall,dating,date,polyamory,poly,town,rural,partners9366fullPW 365: Building your poly communityTue, 20 Aug 2013 15:30:00 +0000Building your local poly community with meetups.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>Building your local poly community with meetups.Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>35:52yessteve,network,to,polyamory,community,meet,support,cunning,minx,where,meetup,polys,culthane9365fullPW 364: In love and vetoedThu, 15 Aug 2013 23:39:35 +0000What to do when you've fallen in love with a partner and get vetoed out of the relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>What to do when you've fallen in love with a partner and get vetoed out of the relationship. Email polyweekly@gmail.com, call 802-505-POLY, Twitter @polyweekly or visit www.polyweekly.com or www.facebook.com/polyweekly]]>34:38yespolyamory,poly,relationship,bdsm,cunning,minx,veto9364fullPW 363: New to poly; same old dramaFri, 19 Jul 2013 03:36:17 +0000In this advice episode, a listener asks what to do. He's new to poly and kink and dating a submissive who is monogamous, married and concealing the relationship from her husband.

]]>Poly in America for the month of love. 1:00 host chat - 4:20 Topic: what it means to be poly in America around Valentine's Day 2012 and current news stories citing nonmonogamy - 22:10 Feedback with a correction from Musqurat and a self-identity piece from Fred.