Neighbor drama help please!

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Jessglover85 wrote:

Help!!

This is a bit of a saga so if you bear with me to the end I thank you in advance!

We are having issues with our next door neighbor. We have lived beside her for coming up on 3 years now. Now I say this with the most respect for mental health and disabilities as one can- she is not mentally stable. We have had many conversations with her where she has expressed delusional paranoid thoughts and behaviors. She is extremely erratic and has made some honestly scary comments about the government and wwiii, how she spies on her government official clients (she’s a house cleaner), and how she is “armed to the max”. She has purposefully stood naked in front of our other neighbors more than once, claims our entire neighborhood is haunted , etc etc. I say all this not to judge her but because I feel it’s an important part of our problem as we cannot handle this as we would with a mentally competent person.

We have a dog and she has a dog. Our dog extremely dislikes her dog (hers is not neutered and for whatever reason our dog hates un fixed dogs). We have gotten threatening notes on our door, and had the cops called several times because of our dog barking. At first we tried to empathize with her, I mean who would want to deal with a neighbors dog barking? I get it. But in June of 2017 I became a SAHM and since then I have been able to catch our dog at the slightest bark and bring him inside. I’m not exaggerating when I say as soon as he barks I run out to get him. Always. And we keep him inside the majority of the day. Never out past 7:00pm etc. I promise we aren’t those annoying dog people.

For a while everything seemed ok ...then she did the odd act of removing several of the wooden fence posts that divide the dogs. This was probably in the spring. So of course the barking escalated at that point. My husband went and asked her why she did that and if she would put the fence posts back as it’s encouraging out dog to bark (which didn’t she hate?) At first she said she did it because the dogs were friends now (no), then she became extremely irate, said we needed a shock collar for our dog.

So she leaves the fence posts off for months and nothing really changes. Our dog barks, we bring him in immediately. We have spoken to several other neighbors who have assured us that our dog barks no more and certainly less than many of the other dogs on our street, and the police who have responded to her calls have assured us that if she is the only person complaining, they won’t fine us or take the dog in or anything. (The dog is registered and we always fully cooperate).

Then last month she has one of her classic heart to heart talks with my husband where she says everything is fine with the dogs and she’s sorry and etc etc. Ok, great. But then the next day there she goes again screaming at our dog through the fence for barking (literally while I’m out there trying to get him in after he has been barking for 15 seconds). That day she calls the cops. Once again they come to check things out and say the same thing that they won’t do anything if she’s the only one with the issue (which she is).

So things continue as is. At this point we are getting our house ready to sell and just aren’t worried about her. Then tonight our dog starts barking so I run out to get him and I notice a blinking red light by the fence. She is videotaping. Straight from her fence into our yard.For what purpose exactly I am unsure but it makes me extraordinarily uncomfortable . We are hesitant to confront her honestly because for one we have tried talking to her rationally before and it has led nowhere and two, I am afraid that in her mental state if she is “fully armed” - I mean who knows what she may do- regardless of who civil we may be.

I have researched I can’t figure out if it’s technically illegal what she’s doing. And I don’t want to make things more of an issue than they have to be as we are stressed to the max right now with about a million other things.

So what do we do? Call the cops? Let her videotape? It’s not even that I’m concerned of what she will tape- we don’t do anything wrong. She’s not going to “catch us” in anything. It just feels like an extremely aggressive move by her and it makes me so uncomfortable!

It depends on what state you live in if it’s illegal to video someone without their consent. I live in Texas, and as long as it’s obviously not inappropriate. I can video someone all day long without their consent and it’s legit in court. I would still maybe call the cops just to file a formal complaint against her. I would tell them you don’t feel comfortable approaching her because of her sporadic behavior in the past. I definitely empathize for you because having problems with a neighbor is a pain in the butt!! Hopefully y’all sale your house quickly!

Can you put up fencing on your side? It sounds like she took down the panels to get the dogs riled up, just so she could have something to complain about. I know you’re moving soon, but that would help the next people out too.

You can call your local police department and ask if she’s allowed to video record. You could build a fence on your lot since she took boards off. I personally would quit putting the dog out in the yard. Take him out on a leash to do his business, take him for plenty of walks, and/or find an off leash park for him to run around. That seems like the easiest way to avoid drama until you move.

Thanks all. Looks like it’s not technically illegal. I wish we could put a new fence up on our side (we have a chain link fence on our side then she has a wooden fence on hers) but we dont have the time or money. I think we will probably have to just keep the dog inside as much as possible just to avoid her- it just sucks and I hate the play the “it’s not fair” card but it isn’t! It’s our yard and we should be able to use it. Her dog is the only one ours ever has a problem with! He goes to daycare and comes out into town with us and we have zero issues. Sigh. Ok, pitty party over.

I am a proud gun owner. My husband and I are both well armed and even build guns as a hobby. However, we are both of sound mind and only shoot our guns at the range or of course should we at some point have to protect our family. Not trying to scare you but I would be concerned about her shooting your dog seeing as she has these guns but is obviously not of sound judgment. Maybe until the house is sold you should only let your dog out to use the bathroom and try to stay outside with him until he’s done. I feel frustrated for you because 1) I LOVE my dogs and 2) I hate to see irresponsible (scary) gun owners cuz it makes the rest of us look bad.

if you don't have money to redo the fence, could you put a plastic tarp with bunger cords over the fence? both to deter the dogs but also to give you back a bit of privacy from your neighbor? I'm sorry you are going through this, mental health issues are heartbreaking and frustrating, pretty much for every single person involved.

Sounds like her behavior is escalating, which is very scary given her mental health issues, and your close proximity to one another. If I were you, and it were at all possible, I would move. The fact that she's possibly videotaping you makes me wonder what scenario she's created in her mind about your family. If she sees you as a threat, who knows what she's capable of.

It is very scary. The scary part is we are selling our house now but leasing it back until March. So unfortunately we have a few more months to go. I’m just going to try to keep my dog away from her at all times!

The 5 Types of Toddler Tantrums The word tantrum is typically defined as "an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child."Okay, sure. We get that. But can I just add to this? Through careful observation