Childbirth educators currently have quite a challenging task. According to Listening to Mothers III, only "one-third (34%) of women reported taking childbirth education classes during their recent pregnancy' [2]. This means there are many families who receive little to no preparation for childbearing and parenting, and of the parents who do take childbirth classes, not all of them truly grasp and retain the information that could be most helpful to them. As a doula and childbirth educator with a degree in education, I can attest to the fact that HOW people learn is every bit as important as WHAT they learn.

Typically, when people talk about what women and families want during the childbirth process, they usually mean the medical interventions involved in childbirth. I have found that focusing on these objectives alone are only part of the puzzle of helping women achieve a positive and satisfying childbirth experience. The part of the puzzle many have missed has to do with the intrinsic values a woman or a woman and her partner hold that guide most of the decisions in their lives. I believe the five things women want in childbirth are the key to helping us put the ownership of birth back in the hands of mothers and improve childbirth experiences. I have found that a values-based approach to birth planning helps bridge the gap and allows to families gain ownership (rather than control) in the birthing process...

As mothers who are not childbirth experts, we depend on medical professionals and other knowledgeable sources to help guide us in making the best choices for ourselves during pregnancy and childbirth. But, in looking to others for help, are you inadvertently giving away your decision-making power? To whom does your birth belong?

Most often, people think about the things doulas do during the actual birth such as position changes, back rubs and verbal encouragement, but the informational support is glazed over as if this act of giving information is a simple one. The truth is this: anyone whose role involves transmitting information is at some level an educator. Therefore, every doula is inherently a childbirth educator whether she realizes it or not.

I believe that more women need to know about the full spectrum of maternal care when preparing for birth. Your journey to motherhood is not only about birth; it's about your story. Whatever comes, how you prepare will directly impact your entire life in big and small ways. The smartest thing you can do is prepare to be whole.

The problem in choices in childbirth is they don’t make much sense if you don’t understand them. What this means in the childbirth arena is that it’s hard to decide whether or not you want something if you don’t know the risks, benefits and if, when, why, where and how it might be beneficial to you. The use of forceps might sound like a medieval torture device until you know they could save your baby’s life without the turmoil of cesarean as major abdominal surgery. When considering what kind of childbirth education you will pursue, be sure you are able to gain information about your choices in a way you can understand and assimilate into your worldview.

There are as many opinions about childbirth as there are people on the planet. The truth is, there is no right and wrong in childbirth; there is only what's right for you! But just how exactly do you find out what's right for you when there are so many options? Wouldn't it be great if there was a one-size-fits-all childbirth education curriculum so you could be guaranteed that you would get just exactly what you need out of it or at least know which way to go to find what you do need? If you are a birth professional, wouldn't it be great if you had a tool that you could use with every client to help them get the results they need? Sound like unicorns and rainbows? It might not be as far from reality as you think!

You see, while everyone else in the childbirth professional community and doula world is arguing about who's right, who's wrong, which organization to train with, which childbirth method is the RIGHT one, and why THEY deserve to get paid as professionals, Your Birth Experience Instructors are looking at the women giving birth, the ones who really matter.

Using Your Birth Experience helps me do exactly that for my clients. I present the options available to them and give them the tools they need to see how their personality and decision-making processes speak to their birth goals so that each parter can determine what is most important to them and why. This way there is no need to be combative, just clear in communication. There is no need to have an inflexible agenda, but instead an informed plan that can be adjusted when unexpected factors arise. This program allows me to help clients synthesize their goals and desires in a way that nothing else can, and all while clearly and succinctly presenting them with all the options available to them.

So, what gives? How can a woman still have a positive birth experience even when things don't go as planned? How can I as a childbirth educator and doula in Tulsa, Oklahoma ensure my students and clients have the most satisfying experience possible, when I cannot guarantee outcome or mode (vaginal or cesarean) of delivery? Well, that's where my divorce comes in...

During pregnancy with my first child, I read everything I could get my hands on regarding pregnancy and childbirth. I took a twelve week natural childbirth class and befriended Doulas and other women who had home births. I practiced relaxation and made a plan with my then husband. I THOUGHT I would want to be touched, massaged, caressed, held and verbally encouraged throughout the process of labor and childbirth. So, naturally that is what I planned for. Little did I know, Nature had a different plan.

I've learned in my seven years working as a Birth Doula in Tulsa and surrounding areas that it's not the easiest question to answer. Sometimes we answer that question with a response based on what others want for us. Sometimes we answer based on guilt and assumptions of what we THINK we should want, or even what we WISHED we wanted. The problem with each of those scenarios is that they all create immense internal and external conflict.

Your birth experience, TM

417 west san diego st. broken arrow, OK 74011

usa | 918.894.1627 | missy@yourbirthexperience.com

Your Birth Experience, TM is a subsidiary of Missy David Enterprises, LLC. Your Birth Experience is trademarked and copyrighted by Missy Boudiette. All rights reserved.

Your Birth Experience Childbirth Education Curriculum and Birth and Postpartum Doula Training is a system developed by Missy Boudiette BS, CD(DONA) in order to empower expectant mothers and their families to envision, prepare for and achieve the birth, breastfeeding and baby experience they desire. Your Birth Experience, TM equips childbirth professionals to connect with their clients, identify needs and equip them with the resources necessary to achieve their goals.