For Haseeb's first software developer job, he was able to
negotiate a total compensation package of US $250,000 for his first
year at Airbnb. He believes negotiation is a skill that can be
learned, just like any other. And it isn't particularly elusive or
hard to understand. In this episode, he explains how anyone can
negotiate effectively.

So you’ve maneuvered through the initial offer conversation.
You’ve lined up counteroffers from other companies. Now it’s time
to enter the actual negotiation.

Naturally, this is the part where everything goes horribly
wrong.

But don’t worry. I’m going to turn you into a superhero
negotiator. (Or at least an eccentric billionaire negotiator, which
is sometimes better?)

Seriously though. In this article, we’re going to deep-dive into
the negotiating process, and discuss my final 4 rules on how to
negotiate a job offer.

If you didn’t read my first 6 rules, you can read them here (or
you can just skip ’em and keep reading):

Ten Rules for Negotiating a Job Offer

When the story of how I landed a job at Airbnb went viral, I was
surprised at how infatuated people were with my…

What does it take to be a good negotiator?

Most people think negotiating well is just looking the other
person in the eye, appearing confident, and asking for tons of
money. But being a good negotiator is a lot more subtle than
that.

What Good Negotiators Sound Like

You probably have a friend or family member who’s infamous for
refusing to take no for an answer. The kind of person who will
march into a department store and bullheadedly argue with the
management until they get a purchase refunded.

This person seems like they often get what they want. They make
you cringe, but perhaps you should try to be more like them.

Rest assured, this person is actually a terrible negotiator.
They’re good at being difficult and causing a scene, which can
sometimes convince a waitress or shift manager to appease them. But
this style of negotiating will get you nowhere when negotiating
with a business partner (that is, an employer).

A good negotiator is empathetic and collaborative. They don’t
try to control you or issue ultimatums. Rather, they try to think
creatively about how to fulfill both your and their needs.

So when you think of negotiating a job offer, don’t imagine
haggling over a used car. Think more like negotiating dinner plans
with a group of friends, and you’ll fare much better.

Slicing up the cake

Another important difference between good and bad negotiators is
that bad negotiators tend to think of a negotiation as a zero-sum
game.

Imagine we’re negotiating over a cake. In a zero-sum negotiation
if I get one more slice, you get one less. Any gain I make comes at
your expense.

This seems obviously true with cake, right? So what makes a job
negotiation any different?

Ah, but it’s not actually true for cake. What if I hate corner
pieces and you love them? What if I really like the cherries? What
if I’m full and you’re starving, but you’ll agree to treat me to my
favorite cake next time?

Of course, when I posed the question I didn’t mention anything
about cherries or my feelings on corner pieces. It might seem like
I just made stuff up.

But this is exactly what good negotiators do. They bend the
rules. They question assumptions and ask unexpected questions. They
dig to find the core what everyone values and look for creative
ways to widen the terrain of negotiation.

While you were thinking about how to haggle over slices, I’m
thinking about how to give both of us more than just half of a
cake.

Different parties in a negotiation almost always have different
value functions. We may value the same things — we both care about
cake, after all. But we don’t value them in exactly the same way,
so there’s probably a way to give each of us more of what we
want.

Most people go into a job negotiation thinking they need to
stubbornly haggle over salary like slices of cake. They don’t ever
stop to ask — hey, what do I actually value? Why do I value it?
What does the company value? Why do they value that?

You could choose which team you’re assigned to, what your first
project will be, what technologies you’ll be working with, and
sometimes even choose your title.

Maybe you’re a frosting person, and the company is more into
cherries. You never know if you don’t ask.

Hold onto this mindset.

Okay.

Let’s pick up the negotiation where we left off. All the offers
are in, and recruiters are eagerly waiting for you to get the ball
rolling.

Let’s start negotiating.

Phone VS Email

Your first decision is whether you want to negotiate over the
phone, or keep correspondence over e-mail.

Talking on the phone not only signals confidence, but more
importantly, it allows you to build a strong relationship with your
recruiter.

Talking on the phone enables bantering, telling jokes, and
building connection. You want your recruiter to like you,
understand you, empathize with you. You want them to want you to
succeed. Likewise, you want to care about your recruiter and
understand what’s motivating them.

The best deals get made between friends. It’s hard to make
friends over e-mail.

However, if you don’t have confidence in your negotiation
skills, you should try to push the negotiation to e-mail. Written,
asynchronous communication will give you more time to strategize
and make it easier to say uncomfortable things without being
pressured by a recruiter.

That said, recruiters will always prefer to get you on the
phone. It’s essentially their home turf. They’re also well aware
that negotiating is easier over e-mail, and they have little
interest in making it easier on you. They’ll often be vague about
the offer over e-mail and only offer to discuss specific details on
the phone.

If you want to stick to email, you have to push back against
this. There’s no secret to it: just be honest and ask for what you
want.

Tell them:

“Hi recruiter, I hope your day is treating you well!

Re: your previous e-mail, I’d prefer to discuss the details of
the offer over e-mail. I sometimes get nervous during important
phone calls, so discussing the offer over e-mail helps me to keep a
clear head and communicate more clearly. I hope this is okay with
you. :)”

No BS, no huff-puffery. Just telling the truth and asking for
what you want.

There’s tremendous power in honesty and directness. Take
advantage of it.

(Also, note how I wrote “discuss the details of the offer”
rather than “negotiate.” Never describe what you’re doing as
negotiating — that sounds immediately adversarial and haggley.
Describe it instead as a discussion, and they’re less likely to
recoil.)

Having Alternatives

I mentioned before how essential it is to have multiple offers.
I’ll reiterate again — it’s very, very valuable to have multiple
offers.

With other offers on the table, if your negotiation doesn’t work
out, they know you’ll just accept another offer. Your negotiating
position suddenly becomes a lot more credible because they know
you’re willing to walk away.

This effect is strengthened if you get an offer from a
prestigious company. And the effect goes through the roof if you
have an offer from a company’s primary competitor (now they’ll
really want to poach you from the big bad competitor-corp).

Some of this behavior is stupid tribalism. And some part of it
is rational in trying to deprive competitors of talent. Either way,
take advantage of it, and be tactical in which companies you aim
for.

But what if you don’t manage to get any other offers? Does all
the negotiating just go out the window?

Not at all. What’s important here is not actually having other
offers. More specifically, it’s in having strong alternatives.
Which is why Rule #6 of negotiating is: have alternatives.

A negotiation needs stakes. If there were no risk and you knew
for sure the other side would sign a contract, what incentive would
you have to offer them anything more?

Your alternatives are what give a negotiation its stakes. By
signaling your alternatives, you allow your interlocutor to develop
a mental model of when and why you’ll walk away from the
negotiation. Your alternatives also have an anchoring effect on how
much the other side thinks you’re objectively worth.

In negotiation literature, your best alternative is often
referred to as your BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated
Agreement). Basically, it’s what you’d do if you walked away.

I like the term BATNA a lot, mostly because it sounds like a
gadget Batman would lob at bad guys.

So what’s your BATNA if you don’t have other offers? Do you even
have one?

Of course you do. Your best alternative might be “interview at
more companies” or “go to grad school” or “stay at your current
job” or “go on sabbatical in Morocco for a few months” (as it was
for a friend of mine who was deliberating between joining a startup
and gallivanting through North Africa).

The point is, you don’t need to have another offer to have a
strong BATNA.

Your BATNA’s strength comes from:

- how strong the other side perceives it to be, and
- how strong you perceive it to be.

If your recruiter thinks that going to grad school is an awesome
thing to do, then they’ll see you as having a very strong
alternative, and the stakes of the negotiation will be raised.

But even if they think grad school is ridiculous — if you
convince them that you’d be totally happy to go to grad
school — then the burden is on them to make this deal more
attractive to you than going to grad school.

Thus, you need to communicate your BATNA. This doesn’t need to
be ham-fisted, but you need to make it a background to the
negotiation. (Note: usually whenever you signal your BATNA, you
should also re-emphasize your interest in reaching an
agreement).

Examples:

“I’ve received another offer from [OTHER CORP] that’s very
compelling on salary, but I really love the mission of [YOUR
COMPANY] and think that it would overall be a better fit for
me.”

“I’m also considering going back to grad school and getting a
Master’s degree in Postmodern Haberdashery. I’m excited about [YOUR
COMPANY] though and would love to join the team, but the package
has to make sense if I’m going to forego a life of ironic
hatmaking.”

Note: one of the biggest mistakes I see here is from people who
are currently working. If you already have a job, staying where you
are is often your BATNA.

This means if you tell your interlocutor that you hate your job,
then they know your BATNA sucks, and have no incentive to negotiate
with you (on top of potentially thinking that you’re a negative
person). Always emphasize the pros of your current company, your
seniority, your impact, and whatever else you like about where you
currently work.

You should make your decision seem like a genuinely difficult
one — then it will appear to be a strong BATNA.

What a Job Negotiation Means to an Employer

I’ve kept saying that in order to be an effective negotiator,
you need to understand the other side. So let’s take a look at what
it’s like to negotiate as an employer. (I’m going to have to use
the tech industry in my examples here, but the details will differ
by industry.)

First, we have to rewind and understand what brought us to this
offer in the first place. What kind of resources have they spent so
far in trying to fill this position?

- Writing and posting a job description on all appropriate
channels ($300)
- Reviewing ~100 or more resumes ($1,250)
- About 15% of those resumes need to be phone screened, so roughly
15 phone screens ($2,250)
- Around 75% of those initial phone screens warrant a technical
screen, so roughly 11 technical screens ($9,000)
- About 30% pass through to an on-site, so roughly 3 onsites. These
onsites require the coordination of 6–7 employees ($10,800)
- Finally, they make one offer. The recruiter (and potentially the
executive staff) need to spend time on the phone with the offeree
convincing and negotiating. ($900)

Numbers nabbed from here.

All-in-all this process took about 45 days from start to
finish.

Now say you end up turning down their offer. They’ve spent over
$24,000 just extending this single offer to you (to say nothing of
opportunity costs), and now they’ll essentially have to start over
from scratch.

This is what a company faces if you turn them down.

Realize what a gauntlet they’ve been through!

Realize how important it is that you’re the one!

Out of the droves and droves who’ve shown up on their doorstep,
you’re the one they want. They want to usher you into their tribe.
They went through so much crap to get you here, and now they’ve
found you.

And you’re worried that if you negotiate, they’ll take it
away?

Further yet, understand that salary is only one part of the cost
of employing you. An employer also has to pay for your benefits,
your equipment, space, utilities, other random expenses, and
employment taxes on top of all of that. All-in, your actual salary
often comprises less than 50% of the total cost of employing
you.

Which means they expect that your value to the company — in
terms of the revenue you’ll generate — to be more than 2x your
salary. If they didn’t believe that, they wouldn’t be hiring you at
all.

So, this is all to say: everything is stacked in your favor. It
doesn’t feel that way, but it absolutely is.

Realize that, while you are agonizing over whether to ask for
another few thousand dollars, they’re just praying with bated
breath that you’ll sign the offer.

If you don’t sign the offer, they lose. Losing a good candidate
sucks. No one wants to believe that their company isn’t worth
working for.

They want to win. They will pay to win.

And yet, you might worry: “but if end up negotiating more, won’t
they have higher expectations? Won’t my boss end up hating me for
negotiating?”

No, and no.

It’s your role that will determine your performance
expectations, not how much you negotiated. Making 5k more or less
in salary doesn’t matter at all. Your manager will literally just
not care about this.

Remember how expensive it is to even employ you in the first
place! Nobody’s going to fire you because you’re performing 5K
worse than they expected you to. The cost of firing you and hiring
someone else is a lot more than 5K to begin with.

And no, your boss won’t hate you now. And in fact, at most big
companies the person you’re negotiating with won’t even be your
boss. Recruiting and management are totally separate departments,
completely abstracted from one another. And even if you’re at a
startup, trust me that your boss is used to negotiating with
candidates and doesn’t place nearly as much significance on it as
you do.

In short: negotiating is easier and more normal than you think.
Companies are completely willing to negotiate with you. If your
intuition tells you otherwise, trust that your mental model is
wrong.

How to Give the First Number

In part 1, I mentioned how valuable it is not to have to give
the first number. But there are times when you just can’t avoid it.
In these situations, there are ways to give the first number
without actually giving the first number.

If a company asks you “what are your salary expectations?” you
might say:

“I don’t have any particular numbers in mind. I’m more
interested in learning whether this will be a good mutual fit. If
it is, I’m open to exploring any offer so long as it’s
competitive.”

Sounds good. But they push back, “I understand that, but we need
to have a clear idea of what you think is competitive. I need to
know whether it’s worth going through the interview process. We’re
a young startup, so I need to make sure we’re on the same page as
far as compensation.”

That’s a strong push. But you can still push back.

“I completely hear you, and I agree it’s important that we’re on
the same page. I really have no particular numbers in my head. It
all depends on the fit and the composition of the offer. Once we
decide we want to work together, I think that’s the best time to
figure out a compensation package that makes sense.”

Most employers will relent here. But there’s a small chance they
push further: “Okay, look, you’re being difficult. Let’s not waste
each other’s time. What’s an offer that you’d be willing to
take?”

This is a decision point. They’re trying to take away your
negotiating power and pin you to a premature decision.

That said, you probably will have to say a number at this point,
or risk damaging the trust in this relationship. (They are making a
valid point that startups can’t offer the same kind of cash as
large companies, nor should you expect them to. They might be
sensing that you’re not aware of this.)

But you can give a number here without actually giving a
number.

“Well, okay. I know that the average software engineer in
Silicon Valley makes roughly 120K a year in salary. So I think
that’s a good place to start.”

Notice what I did here. I didn’t actually answer the question
“what’s an offer you’d be willing to take,” I merely anchored the
conversation around the fulcrum of “the average software engineer
salary.”

So if you’re forced to give a number, do so by appealing to an
objective metric, such as an industry average (or your current
salary). And make it clear that you’re merely starting the
negotiation there, not ending it.

How to Ask for More

An offer is out there, and now you want to improve it. As
always, be direct and ask for what you want. Here are generally the
steps you should take.

First, reiterate your interest in the company. This is as simple
as “I’m really excited about the problems you guys are working on
at Evil Corp…”

Now frame why you’re asking for more. There are two choices
here: you can say that you’re on the fence and that an improvement
might convince you, or you can go stronger and say that you’re
outright dissatisfied with the offer. Which approach you choose
depends on how much leverage you have, how weak the offer is
relative to your BATNA, and whether you have other offers (the
weaker your negotiating position, generally the more tentative you
should be).

Either way, be unfailingly polite.

If you’re dissatisfied with the offer, you might say something
like “I appreciate the work you guys put into constructing this
offer. But there were a couple things I was unsatisfied with.”

If you want to be more reserved, you can say something like:

“The offer you guys extended was strong. Right now my decision
is basically between you and [XYZ CORP]. It’s a genuinely difficult
decision for me, but there are a couple of dimensions where if this
offer improved, it would be much more compelling.”

Don’t just say something like “Thanks for the offer. Here are
some ways I think it could improve.” This makes you sound like an
ass. Be polite, and if you want to strengthen the offer, tell them
clearly how you feel about it. This builds trust and conveys
seriousness.

Let’s say you want to raise the salary. Now that you have a
specific ask, it’s time to employ rule #7: proclaim reasons for
everything.

We all implicitly know the catch-22 of negotiation: if you say
you want more salary, you’ll sound greedy. And no one likes greedy
people, right? So why would they want to give more money to a
greedy person?

I suspect this is the primary reason why so many candidates
recoil from negotiating. They don’t want to feel greedy. It goes
against all of their social conditioning. And yet, there are some
situations in which most people would be totally fine
negotiating.

Specifically, when they have to.

If you had to raise your salary or you wouldn’t be able to
afford rent, or if you had to negotiate health insurance to cover a
medical condition, you’d negotiate without a twinge of regret. The
difference? That you have a reason for what you’re requesting.

It’s kind of a brain-hack, both for yourself and for your
negotiating partner. Just stating a reason — any reason — makes
your request feel human and important. It’s not you being greedy,
it’s you trying to fulfill your goals.

The more unobjectionable and sympathetic your reason, the
better. If it’s medical expenses, or paying off student loans, or
taking care of family, you’ll bring tears to their eyes. I told
employers that I was earning-to-give, so since I was donating 33%
of my income to charity, I had tonegotiate aggressively to leave
myself enough to live off.

But honestly, even if your reason is inane and unimpressive, it
will still carry this effect.

Just saying “can you improve the salary?” sounds like you’re
boringly motivated by money. But if you say “I really want to buy a
house within the next year; what can we do to improve the salary?”
This suddenly seems a lot more legitimate.

If they turn down your request now, they’re implicitly telling
you “No, Jennifer, you can’t buy your house. I guess you don’t
deserve one.” No one wants to do that. They want to be the one who
says, “All right Jennifer, I talked with the director and I made it
happen. You’re getting that new house!”

(Of course, it goes without saying that you want money so you
can spend it on things. I know. It’s stupid. But it works.)

Just go with it, state a reason for everything, and you’ll find
recruiters more willing to become your advocate.

Assert your Value

One effective move you can make in a negotiation, especially
after an ask, is to emphasize the unique value you’ll be bringing
to the company. Example:

“Blah blah blah, I want X, Y, and Z.

I know that you guys are looking for someone to build out your
Android team. I believe I bring a lot of experience leading a team
of Android developers and I’m confident that I’ll be able to bring
your mobile offerings up to parity with your competitors.

Let me know your thoughts.”

Be confident without boasting or trying to hold yourself to
specific metrics (unless you’re supremely confident). Whatever you
assert should be something you’ve touched on earlier in your
discussions. But it’s okay to repeat it now as a gentle reminder.
It reminds them of the carrot, and shows that you’re still excited
to add value.

This is not appropriate in every negotiation, especially for
very junior positions, where it’s harder to differentiate yourself.
But later in your career (or for more specialized/consulting roles)
this can be a really valuable nudge.

What to Ask For

This brings me to rule #8: be motivated by more than just
money.

Note, this is not code for “if you seem like you’re motivated by
more than just money, you’ll get more money.”

There is no bigger turn-off to a company than somebody who only
cares about money. This is something you’re not going to be able to
fake.

Actually be motivated by other things. You should be motivated
by money, too, of course, but it should be one among many
dimensions you’re optimizing for. How much training you get, what
your first project will be, which team you join, or even who your
mentor will be — these are all things you can and should
negotiate.

Among these factors, salary is perhaps the least important.

What do you really value? Be creative. Don’t try to haggle over
slices of cake when there’s so much more on the table.

Of course, to negotiate well you need to understand the other
side’s preferences. You want to make the deal better for both of
you. That’s why rule #9 is: understand what the company values.

How do you figure this out? Well, there are a few good rules of
thumb.

First, salary is almost always the hardest thing to give, for a
few reasons:

- It must be paid year after year, so it becomes part of a
company’s long-term burn rate.
- It is almost always the thing that people gossip about, so paying
someone significantly more salary can cause unrest.
- It tends to be the most tightly constrained by pay bands,
especially at large companies.

So if you want more financial compensation, you should think
about structuring as much of it as possible outside of salary. A
signing bonus, for example, is easier to give than salary. A
signing bonus has the advantage of only needing to be paid once. It
gets the candidate excited about joining (because everyone likes
wads of cash), and it’s generally not as public.

Remember that you can always get salary raises as you continue
to work at the company, but there’s only one point at which you can
get a signing bonus.

The easiest thing for a company to give though is stock (if the
company offers stock). Companies like giving stock because it
invests you in the company and aligns interests. It also shifts
some of the risk from the company over to you and burns less
cash.

If you are genuinely risk-neutral or early in your career, then
you should generally try to assume as much stock as possible. If
you aggressively trade cash for stock, you can end up with a higher
expected value offer (albeit with higher risk).

A Brief Primer on Equity

First, understand there are two completely different classes of
companies: public companies and private companies.

If the company is public (i.e., it has IPO’d and is listed on
the stock market), then its stock is as good as cash.

You will usually be granted RSUs (Restricted Stock Units), which
are just shares like you can purchase on the stock market. Once
these shares vest (that is, are released to you), you can turn
around and sell them on the stock market. This is how they turn
into money.

If the company is private, then things get a lot more
complicated.

For private companies, most of the time they will not actually
issue you stock grants. Usually, they will issue you stock options.
An option is a pre-agreed right to purchase shares of stock at a
frozen price.

It’s important to note that when you want to leave a company, if
you have options, your life becomes really complicated. You may
have to pay a bunch of money to actually exercise your option (that
is, buy your pre-agreed upon stock at the previous frozen price, or
risk losing it), with no way to actually sell it yet. The only way
to truly liquidate your options is when the company IPOs or is
acquired. And many companies don’t ever do this.

Thus, options are very risky. It’s easier to get screwed by
options, especially on tax implications. For a lot more
information, see this post by Scott Kupor of a16z.

Equity Shenanigans

Many companies will try to play mind games with you when it
comes to equity. Several companies pulled these on me.

A common one is presenting the total value of the stock grant
rather than the annualized value, despite the stock not vesting
evenly, or vesting over 5 years instead of the standard 4.

But the most egregious thing that companies will do is tell you
absurd stories about the value of their stock. They’ll say: “okay,
we’re worth this much now, but at the rate we’re growing, we’re
going to be worth 10X that in a year. So really, the value of your
options is many millions of dollars!”

To not mince words: this is cynically dishonest BS. Don’t buy it
even for a second. I got this a few times, and the only reason I
didn’t walk away from the offer immediately was because it was
always a recruiter pulling this crap. If it was a manager I
would’ve turned down the offer outright.

Here’s why this is infuriatingly stupid: a company’s valuation
is determined by investors. These investors see the financials and
the growth rate of the company, and invest at a price that reflects
the current growth rate of the company.

In other words, they invested at a valuation that already took
their 10x growth rate into account. Investors are not idiots. And
unless you (or your recruiter) think you have privileged
information or insight that the company’s investors don’t, you
should probably take the investors’ word for it.

Also, a company’s nominal valuation is almost always inflated
due to preferred shares, debt, and survivorship bias. But let’s
ignore that for now.

So if a company gives you this hock of crap, fire back and tell
them thank you, but you’ll be considering the stock at the same
valuation their investors valued it at.

I mean, be nice. But don’t let them try to strong-arm you into
accepting this garbage.

A job is not a suicide pact. Choose a company that is judicious
and transparent, and you’ll be much more likely to find yourself
respected and taken care of.

Other things you can ask for

Because I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out a few other
things.

Relocation expenses often come out of separate budgets at big
companies, so this is generally very easy to get.

Look for creative benefits that would be particularly valuable
to you. Maybe it’s covering your commuter expenses, asking for
dedicated volunteer or learning time, getting sponsored for
conferences, or even charity donation matching.

Don’t assume anything’s off the table until you’ve tried
bringing it up.

That said, don’t throw the entire kitchen sink at them. A
negotiation can quickly become cumbersome for an employer if you
bring up a litany of changes. Keep the changeset as pithy as you
can.

Negotiating Jiu Jitsu

Recruiters love trying to trick you into ending the negotiation
early. They’re going to do this relentlessly. Don’t fault them for
it — I suspect they can’t help themselves.

Just keep breaking out of their shenanigans. Don’t let yourself
be pressured into ending a negotiation until you’re actually ready
to make a final decision.

This is especially grave if you have multiple offers, and you
let one company pressure you into canceling the others. Companies
succeed in doing this all the time, so I want to equip you with the
skills to jiu jitsu out of these techniques.

Here are two situations you can break out of. These are both
real situations that happened to me during my negotiations, though
the numbers and details are invented.

Situation 1:

I ask for a 10K increase in signing bonus. The company gets back
to me and says, “That’s really tough for us to do. I’m going to
try. I think you’re worth it. But I can’t really go to my boss and
fight for you unless she knows you’re going to sign. Are you going
to sign if I get you that 10K?”

You should be thinking: ah, this person is trying to force me to
a decision point and take away my negotiating power.

I respond, “Okay, so what I’m hearing is that you’ll have to
expend some personal reputation to get me a 10K bonus. If you end
up going to bat for me, are you confident you’ll be able to get
that 10K?”

“I think I can, it just comes down to you Haseeb. If you’re
serious about joining us, then I’ll go fight for you. But I need to
know for sure you’ll sign.”

Great. Time to jiu jitsu.

“That makes sense. Unfortunately I can’t commit to signing yet;
I’m not yet at the stage where I can make a final decision. Like I
told you before, this weekend I’m going to sit down with my family
and talk things over with them. Choosing the company I’m going to
spend the next few years at is a commitment I take really
seriously. So I want to be sure I’m making a well-considered
decision.

“But since you’re confident that you can get an extra 10K, let’s
do this instead: in my mind, I’ll pretend this offer is [X + 10K]
and as I’m considering my final decision, that’s where I’ll value
it. I know it’s tough for you to go and get that from your boss, so
I don’t want you to do that until I’m certain I’m going to
sign.”

They then vaguely recant and promptly get approval for the 10K
bonus.

Situation 2:

I ask for a 20% increase in stock package. The hiring manager,
knowing that I’m negotiating with other companies, then fires back:
“I want to get this stock package for you. And I know I can, we’ve
got the budget. But before I do that, I need your word on
something.”

“What’s that?”

“I need you to give me your word that if I improve your offer,
you’re not going to just turn around and take our counter-offer to
[COMPETITOR_COMPANY] to improve your offer with them.”

You should be thinking: so basically they’re asking me not to
negotiate.

“Let me see if I understand what you’re saying. You are willing
to improve my offer, but only if I agree that I won’t tell
[COMPETITOR] what you’re offering me. Is that correct?”

“Well no, I can’t legally do that. What I mean is… what I mean
is, look. I like you. But if I improve your offer and you just take
our offer to [COMPETITOR], you’ll be violating my trust.”

“Okay, let me be sure I understand you here. If you give me this
offer and I tell [COMPETITOR], I will be violating the trust under
which you’re granting me this improved offer. Is that correct?”

“Uhh… Look. How about this. In my mind, I’m going to go get you
this stock package okay? And in my head, I’m going to do it with
the assumption that you’re the kind of person I think you are, and
you’re going to consider our offer in its own right and not just
shop it around. Fair enough?”

I nod. He gets the improved offer. I continue to negotiate.
Antics averted.

(In case you’re wondering, if he had said “yes,” I would have
turned down the proposal.)

The Path to Signing

It’s not enough to just continually ask for stuff. Companies
need to sense that you’re actually moving toward a final decision,
and not just playing games with them.

Your goal in a negotiation is not to be difficult or elusive.
True, you should assert your value and carefully consider your
options, but you can do so in a way that’s respectful and
considerate toward the companies you’re talking to.

Don’t go dark on people. Be open and communicative. I keep
saying be honest and I mean it — be honest.

Aside: I keep talking about honesty, and you might protest that
this is antithetical to my earlier rule of “protect information.”
It’s not. True, you should protect information that might weaken
your negotiating position, but you should be as communicative as
possible about everything else (which is most things).

Negotiating is all about relationship, and communication is the
bedrock of any relationship.

This brings me to the final rule, Rule #10: be winnable. This is
more than just giving the company the impression that you like them
(which you continually should). But more so that you must give any
company you’re talking to a clear path on how to win you. Don’t BS
them or play stupid games. Be clear and unequivocal with your
preferences and timeline.

If there is nothing that a company could do to sign you, or you
don’t actually want to work for them, then don’t negotiate with
them. Period.

Don’t waste their time or play games for your own purposes. Even
if the company isn’t your dream company, you must be able to
imagine at least some package they could offer you that would make
you sign. If not, politely turn them down.

It costs each company money to interview you and to negotiate
with you. I didn’t negotiate with every company I received an offer
from, but if there was one key mistake I made in my job search, it
was that I still negotiated with too many (in large part because I
didn’t think my job search would be successful).

When you start negotiating, you don’t have to be clear about
your timeline because you probably don’t have one yet. But once you
get into intermediary stages, you should set for yourself a
deadline on which you’ll sign. It can be for an arbitrary reason
(or no reason at all), but just pre-committing to a deadline will
allow you to negotiate more clearly and powerfully.

“A weekend with the family” I found works nicely, as it has the
added benefit of roping other decision makers in. Then when
companies push you to end negotiations early, you can re-assert
this deadline.

Companies should all be totally aware of when you’re going to
make your decision. This will raise the stakes and galvanize
negotiations as the deadline approaches.

This deadline also lets you defer your decision while still
improving offers. Your narrative should basically be “I want to see
the strongest offer your company can muster. Then I will go into my
cave, meditate for 10 days, and when I emerge I will have decided
in my heart which company to join.” This gives you enormous power
to avoid any on-the-spot decision points or premature promises.

Eventually, deadline day will come. Try to make this a business
day (say, a Friday or a Monday) so that you can communicate with
recruiters during this day. If a hail mary is going to happen,
it’ll happen here.

Even if there’s only one company in the running, you should
always always wait until the last day to sign your offer. Yes, even
if you’re certain you’re going to sign and even if it’s your dream
job. I’ve seen many scenarios in which offers spontaneously
improved as deadlines approached, or a fallen player gets up and
presents you the holy grail in the 11th hour. Either way, there’s
no harm.

Finally, your trump card. Save this for the very end. Your trump
card is these words:

“If you can do X, I will sign.”

Note, this is NOT “If you give me X, the offer will be more
compelling blah blah blah.” We’re past that. It’s time to make a
promise.

Every company that’s still on the table, let them know what it
would take to sign you (unless there’s nothing they could do). And
when you make the final ask, don’t forget reason-giving, even if
it’s the same reason as before!

“Hi Joel, I’ve been thinking it over and it’s genuinely a really
tough decision for me. I loved everyone at [COMPANY] but the one
thing that makes it hard for me is the salary. As you know I’m
trying to pay off my student loans so salary is really important to
me right now. If you can improve the salary by 10K a year, then
I’ll be totally ready to sign.”

With luck, they meet you half-way. Or, with a little more luck,
they’ll meet all of it.

And just because I know someone will ask — yes, once say you’re
going to sign, you should always sign. Never go back on your word.
It’s a small world. People talk. These kind of things will come
back to haunt you. (More importantly, never go back on your word
because you’re the kind of person who never goes back on their
word.)

Tell all of the other parties that you’ve made your final
decision. Thank them for the negotiation. If you did it well,
they’ll usually thank you back, tell you to keep in touch, and to
reach out again in a couple years next time you’re on the
market.

And that’s it. You did it! Congratulations! You’re still alive,
right?

… You’re not moving.

Well, that’s fine. It’s time to celebrate your new job, you
beautiful fool! (Drinks are on you.)

If you got some value out of this article, share it with a
friend who’d benefit from it. Or better yet, follow me on Twitter
and I can be your friend.

There’s a lot more in the works.

Until next time,

—Haseeb

About the Podcast

The official podcast of the freeCodeCamp open source community.
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