I wouldn't say this fic is very close to Jakkid's style. Too many capital letters.

Yeah, comparing the two, Skiword seems to be better with grammar than Jakkid, but he does have spelling issues, as well as a mind with a penchant for over the top antics. From his own statements, he seems to be basing his work off the Death Note fanfic author 'D'arkYagam'i'.

Thanks a lot! (Here I was thinking you disappeared for good...) Thinking about it, we haven't had a lot of new pictures springing from this thread. Granted, it hasn't seen a lot of activity either, but I hope someone might share some golden moments from our more recent sporkings.

And I didn't realize how much Airey and I dominated this thread. Wow, maybe my hiatus was deserved.

So, some time ago, a parrot (a real parrot) witnessed a murder. IRL. There've been like 100 posts about it on /r/aceattorney.Obviously, people got sick of hearing about it every day. Especially our replacement Jakkid, it seems.

A fangame of an unreleased AA-like game, Hexepta: Logic Hack. Follow my fangame to give the official one attention and make it world famous when it's released.

Rating: I’m giving this one two Sahwits. While the author has proven that they can indeed typing, they cannot typing very well. It’s a mess of grammar and spelling errors, and usually lacks actual capitalization. However, it may be one of the funniest and most creative trollfics I’ve ever read.

Now to introduce the sporkers who will be enjoying this fic!

Apollo Justice! “...Well this sounds wonderful.”

Maya Fey! “What an exciting title!”

Dick Gumshoe! “Hey, Look! This one has Mr. Edgeworth in it!”

Miles Edgeworth! “...Because having to attend this establishment isn’t punishment enough?”

[The evening’s sporkers all file into the theatre, their faces brimming with excitement! What adventures could the evening hold? Only time will tell.]

Edgeworth: At least I have a good reason to be brought here this time, instead of being forced here because the management thinks that it’s funny.

Speakers: I’ll have you know, we always have a good reason to bring you here!

Edgeworth: Really? And what is this good reason?

Speakers: Well, ‘good’ is kind of a relative term…

Apollo: That figures. I bet the same logic applies to my presence here!

Maya: Aw, lighten up, you guys! At least these trips are always interesting!

Apollo: They’re interesting, all right. For all the wrong reasons…

Gumshoe: I’m excited too, pal! I haven’t been here in awhile!

Speakers: Though I prefer not to spoil the fics, I can say that our detective friend here appears prominently in this one!

Gumshoe: Really? That’s awesome! Do I get to arrest a criminal?

Speakers: I wouldn’t know. I only read the first three sentences.

Edgeworth: You haven’t even seen this thing yourself yet?

Speakers: Nah, I didn't feel like it. Besides, I don’t want to have to see this thing twice! You four are lucky you only have to see this once. We have to go out of our way to find these monstrosities.

Gumshoe: Huh. You know, I never really thought about it that way!

Apollo: You could just save yourself the trouble by not running this theatre at all?

Speakers: Now why would I do that? This option is much more fun!

Edgeworth: And there’s not much else of value that you can do with your lives, right?

Speakers: Wow, rude! We were going to show two chapters, but if you keep insulting us, maybe we’ll bump that number up to ten?

Apollo: Please, no.

Speakers: Alright then, your loss! Now get to your seats, and let’s start the show!

[The four sporkers all find their seats, and before long, the lights have dimmed and the production has begun!]

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Quote:

ace attorney: THE EDGEWORTH CONSPIRACY

Maya: Wow! What an exciting title!

Edgeworth: I don’t think I understand their choice in capitalization.

Apollo: It looks like they had an accident with the Caps Lock key.

Gumshoe: A conspiracy about Mr. Edgeworth? I wonder what that’ll be about!

Edgeworth: Considering this theatre’s track record, I doubt it will make sense or be thought out in advance.

Quote:

by icantyping

Apollo: Well, judging by the author’s name, we’re in for quite an experience.

Gumshoe: He’s not lying, pal! It looks like he can type!

Edgeworth: Indeed. However, it’s a shame that he can’t type coherent sentences.

Quote:

Disclaimer: I don't own Ace Attorney, and I don't profit from this.

Gumshoe: Hey, this disclaimer looks like it’s written pretty well. I don’t see any mistakes or anything!

Maya: Wow! You’re right! Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

Edgeworth: I doubt it. This is probably an attempt to lure us into a false sense of security. I assume that when the real fic begins, the grammar quality will drop like a brick.

Quote:

miles edgeworth was in the prosecutors offece looking over his casas when the door started banging.

Edgeworth: See what I mean?

Apollo: Don’t you have better things to do than look at old case files?

Maya: No, it says “casas”! That’s Spanish for houses! Edgeworth is looking over his houses!

Gumshoe: Wow! I didn’t know you had more than one house, Mr. Edgeworth!

Apollo: With his salary, I wouldn’t be too surprised.

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous! I only own one house!

Apollo: Sure, but I bet it’s larger than the rest of ours.

Quote:

"MISTOR EDGEWORTH ARE YOU THEIR" shouting detective gumshoe as he forcedthe door open.

Gumshoe: Look! There I am!

Edgeworth: ...Forcing the door open, instead of waiting for me to answer, apparently.

Apollo: At least he knocked on the door before tearing it off its hinges.

Quote:

what is it detective" said gumshoe

"hey pal we got to investigate theres been a CRIME" said gumshoe

Maya: There’s been a CRIME?! That’s even more dangerous than a regular crime!

Apollo: Did anyone else notice that Detective Gumshoe was just talking to himself?

Gumshoe: Wow, I was! Do I have awesome cloning powers in this fic?

Edgeworth: Either that, or this author doesn’t know the difference between each character.

Quote:

"what happened said edgeorth"

Maya: It looks like they made a mistake with their quotation marks says Maya.

Quote:

"we have a witness who herd a gun from the graveyard and they saw sombody with a gun run out off the graveyard. But that isn't all pal theres also a MYSTERY"

Apollo: Since when are our cases not mysteries as well?

Maya: But Apollo, this isn’t a mystery! This is a MYSTERY!

Gumshoe: Hmm… Maybe it’s an acronym… But what would it stand for?

Maya: ...Maybe it stands for Massive… uhh… Yellow… Strange… umm…

Apollo: Be careful, Maya. You shouldn’t waste all of your mental energy on this ridiculousness.

Quote:

”hurry up gumshoe"

"ok pal listen to this when we went to the crime scene THERE WAS NO BODY"

"WHAT?" shouting edgeworth

Apollo: Then how do they know the crime even happened?

Edgeworth: Well, they heard a gunshot, but that could have simply been someone hunting.

Quote:

so they went to edgeworths red sports car to go to where the crime was at

Edgeworth: I do not! This fic is just making things up as it goes along!

Maya: Yeah, I’ve seen his car, and honestly, the wheels are pretty boring.

Edgeworth: ...Well that was somewhat rude.

Quote:

when they got to the regular entrance edgeworth said "ok gumshoe call detective ema skye and tell her to sneak in through the giant hole in the wall the killer made meanwhile you and I will use the normal entrance"

"ok pal"

Apollo: This plan seems poorly thought out and completely pointless.

Edgeworth: Perhaps they’re testing to see if she can fit through the hole. But I have no idea why they would bother with that…

Quote:

then edgeworth and gumshoe went to the security gate

"EDGEY-POO" squealed oldbag who was the security lady because all security ladies are oldbag

Edgeworth: Why does SHE have to be in this?

Apollo: Because all security ladies are Wendy Oldbag, apparently.

Edgeworth: I suppose that would explain why I keep running into her.

Gumshoe: Now that’s just ridiculous, pal! Maggey was a security guard at the prosecutor’s office, and she’s female!

Edgeworth: I doubt the author was taking actual facts into account when writing that statement.

Quote:

"NNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed edgeworth "no not you w hat are you dgoing here"

Edgeworth: That was needlessly dramatic.

Gumshoe: I don’t know, pal. That’s about how you sounded when you saw her at that hotel… and at the embassy, according to Kay!

Maya: Really?! Man, I wish I could’ve seen that!

Edgeworth: …

Quote:

"MARRY ME EDGEY-POOP!" blushed oldbag

Apollo: Edgey-poop?

Maya: That's hilarious! I’ll have to tell Nick about this!

Edgeworth: Please don’t.

Quote:

"hey pal can we go to the graveyard we have to invest in the crime scene" said gum shoe

"no" said oldbag

Gumshoe: What? She’s not even gonna let me investigate?!

Maya: No, you’re asking if you can invest in the crime scene! She’s trying to stop you from buying the graveyard’s stocks!

Apollo: Do graveyards even have stocks?

Edgeworth: I seriously doubt it.

Quote:

"what the fuck why not" said gushoe

"because I fuckin said so whippersnapper" said oldhag

Maya: Whoa, guys! Language!

Gumshoe: Hey, I’d never curse like that in public, pal!

Edgeworth: I doubt the author cares about your objections.

Apollo: Am I the only one who noticed the “oldhag” spelling?

Edgeworth: I’d prefer to not comment on that.

Quote:

"mr edgeworth try flirting with her" said gumshoe

"no way jose" said edgeworth

"please pal”

Edgeworth: ‘No way Jose’? Seriously?

Gumshoe: Hmm… Isn’t some part of this plan illegal?

Apollo: I think this whole fic should be illegal.

Quote:

"please pal"

"ugh fine but only because we have to investigate" said edgeworth and he gave oldbag his phone number but he actually gave her phoenix wrights phone number

Maya: Man, poor Phoenix.

Apollo: I can see a very awkward conversation in his future.

Quote:

"I WILL CALL YOU EDGEY-PIE" said oldbag and she let them threw the crime scene

Gumshoe: Doesn’t she already call you that, pal?

Edgeworth: I believe she meant “call using a telephone”.

Gumshoe: Oh, well that wasn’t very clear! He should have used a comma there!

Apollo: I don’t think the author knows that commas exist.

Quote:

"ok pal lets investigate" said gumshoe

"wait detective somethings wrong" said egdeworth "where is THE VICTIM"

"what do you mean pal oh no I DONT SEE ANYTHING UNUSUAL BUT THIS IS SUPPPOSED TO BE CRIME SEEN"

"oh shit somebody must have STOLEN THE VICTIM"said edgeworth

Apollo: I honestly have no clue what Gumshoe is trying to say up there.

Maya: I think he might be commenting on the lack of evidence at the scene?

Edgeworth: That entire sentence was very poorly structured.

Quote:

"NOT SO FAST MILES EDGEWORTH" someeon said

"who was that pal"

sUDDENLY THEIR WAS A MASKED MAN AND HE HAD A GUN

Maya: Well, that escalated quickly!

Edgeworth: How exactly did this man get into the crime scene without anyone noticing?

Gumshoe: Maybe he snuck in through that hole in the fence!

Edgeworth: And no one was guarding that hole?

Apollo: Honestly, I’d be more surprised if someone was.

Quote:

"its not personal edge worth butz I cant let you investigat this crime" said the assassin

Apollo: “Butz”? Really?

Edgeworth: This person shouldn’t be called an assassin, because assassins kill people for political purposes.

Apollo: Do you really think someone who intentionally misspelled “but” cares about the dictionary definition of “assassin”.

Quote:

"or what buster" said edge

Apollo: “Buster”?

Gumshoe: “Edge”?

Maya: Wow, this story is getting really “edgy”!

Apollo: ...Was that really necessary?

Maya: Of course it was!

Quote:

"or THIS" said masked man and his GUN SHOOT LASERS AT MILES

Apollo: Well… That’s one way to put it. It’s makes a complete mess of the sentence structure, but it gets the point across.

Quote:

"oh dang" said edgeworth and he bartly dodged by using an innocent bystander as a shield

Gumshoe: What! There’s no way Mr. Edgeworth would do something like that, pal!

Edgeworth: What are “innocent bystanders” even doing here? This is a crime scene!

Maya: But there isn’t a victim! For all we know, a crime didn’t even happen!

Apollo: ...I think I’ve lost track of what’s going on…

Quote:

"any last words edgeworth" said masked man

"OBJECTION" shouted edgeworth

"what" said mask man

"I dont know it just seemed apporopriate" said edgeWorth

All: …

Apollo: ...Honestly, I could see this actually happening.

Maya: Yeah, I bet that’s what Nick would do if he was about to be shot!

Quote:

and he pointed his laser gun at edgeworths face point blank

AND THEN SUDDENLY THE GUN WAS KNOCKED FROM MASKED MANS HAND BY SNACKOOS

Apollo: Looks like they held the shift button down for a little too long there.

Gumshoe: Hold on. When is this supposed to be taking place? Because Ema didn’t have Snackoos when I knew her.

Edgeworth: I was wondering that too. However, it seems like the author simply slammed the games together without putting much thought into it.

Speakers: The management must remind Miles Edgeworth that breaking the fourth wall is strictly prohibited.

Edgeworth: How else could I have answered that question?

Speakers: You could have simply made a witty remark about the author’s intelligence and moved on. Like this. “The answer is simple. It’s because this author isn’t the sharpest sandwich in the picnic!” Wait, no… That’s not right.

Apollo: So THAT’S why you call us in to mock these fics instead of doing it yourself!

Speakers: Quiet. This next part is probably important.

Quote:

"ema" shouted gumshoe

Apollo: I could really hear the urgency in his voice.

Quote:

"hey mr edgeworth im here to save you guys" said ema skye who just arrived in the nick of time and she threw a snackoo at the masked mans mask and broke the mask

Maya: Wow, that must have been a really powerful throw!

Gumshoe: Maybe she had a sling! Like that David guy!

Apollo: Are you saying this has turned into Ema and Goliath?

Maya: It should! That would probably be way more interesting.

Quote:

thenedgeworth looked at masked man and IT WAS OLDBAG

"what the fuck" said edgeworht

Apollo: Yeah, that’s about how I feel right now.

Edgeworth: Did she just decide to leave her post? Was anyone worried that the security guard wasn’t guarding anything?

Gumshoe: Wait a minute… This is a normal graveyard, right? Why is there a security guard standing outside?

Maya: Maybe someone important is buried here! Like an important leader!

Edgeworth: ...Or the author just doesn’t care.

Quote:

"I told you not to go to crime scene edgey-poo" flirted oldbag

"gee pal it should have been obvious sense her mask was that astronaut costume" said prosecutor gumshoe

Edgeworth: She went to murder someone in her easily recognizable work uniform?

Maya: Like when you said Will Powers went to kill someone in his Steel Samurai costume?

Edgeworth: ...Touchè.

Quote:

"gumshoe ARREST HER NOW" said edgeworth

but just as gumshoe got out his handcuffs a limo drove through the security gate and oldbag jumped in and got away

Maya: Man, that must have been a really fast limo!

Apollo: Either that or it took Gumshoe forever to take out his handcuffs.

Gumshoe: Hey! I might not be the best officer on the force, but I can at least make an arrest, pal!

Quote:

"well shit" said edgeworth "now what"

maybe we should do see the witness pal said gumshoe

Maya: What was that? Was Mr. Gumshoe communicating telekinetically there?

Gumshoe: Hmm… Maybe I was using facial expressions and body language!

Edgeworth: That would explain the use of “do” instead of “go”.

Quote:

"good idea gumshow" said ema "who is witness"

Apollo: Gumshow?

Maya: Is that an event where people show off various flavors of gum?

Edgeworth: Perhaps the author was desperately trying to make some odd joke about gun shows?

Apollo: I think it’s more likely that they have no idea how to type.

Quote:

"damon gant"

Gumshoe: Damon Gant? Shouldn’t he be in jail?

Maya: Maybe he managed to escape from prison?

Edgeworth: ...Let’s not dwell on that matter.

Quote:

TO BE CONTINUING

Apollo: The first Chapter is over already? Hopefully it was never actually “continuing”’d.

Maya Fey! “I think the question is ‘What do we have to do with Steven Universe?’.”

...Jeez, that’s a lot of sporkers.

[We open in the sporking theater, just like every time. Phoenix and Maya walk in through a different set of double doors this time. Shortly after walking in, they notice a group of four people they don’t recognize attempting to beat down the doors at the other end of the theater.]

Phoenix: ...Uh.

Maya: Well. New people. That’s a good sign.

Phoenix: Should we… go over there?

Maya: Not like we have much else to do.

[Phoenix and Maya walk up behind the four figures pounding on the door.]

Phoenix: Uh… Hello?

[They stop and turn around. Pearl, one of the four, quickly steps out in front.]

Management: That’s funny, I could have sworn I just said “no can do”. Let me look in the logs… yeah, you’re all apparently deaf.

Phoenix: (...When did the management get a sarcastic side?)

Management: But since you four are new here, I’ll give you the run-down on this operation. See, you can’t leave.

Amethyst: Yeah?! Try and stop us!

Management: We did. With those doors you were trying so hard to open. But, still, you didn’t let me finish. You can’t leave... until you perform one single task.

Phoenix: Aaaand here it comes.

Management: This is the sporking theater. Thus, your task is to spork fanfictions.

Garnet: ...Spork?

Steven: Fanfictions?

Pearl: Hm. This must be an aspect of human culture I don’t know about.

Maya: Be thankful you didn’t learn about it until now.

Management: It’s simple, really. You will be presented fanfictions, which you must read and commentate on. That is it. Once the fanfiction is over, you may leave.

Pearl: But… What is a “fanfiction”?

Steven: Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!

Pearl: ...Yes, Steven?

Steven: It’s like, when you take a TV show, or book, or something like that, and write your own story about it.

Pearl: Well, that sounds relatively harmless…

Phoenix: Hah. Hah. You poor untainted souls…

Maya: Nick, quit talking like that. We don’t even know who these people are.

Management: Oh, right! How are any of you supposed to have any chemistry if you don’t know who each other are? No worries, I’ll give you a one minute grace period for you guys to get acquainted with each other before we begin the sporking. Starting... now!

"i want a TV" said steeven"theres no TVs here""TV donut then" said steven"ok heres a tv donut" said donut person and gave steven a tv donut"tank you" said steven and he goed outside with the TV donut and watch TV on it

Phoenix: What? What the hell is a TV donut?

Pearl: Mr. Wright! Please, watch your language around Steven!

Amethyst: *Snort*

Phoenix: ...Er, Sorry. But, still, what is a TV donut?

Steven: I have no idea. Garnet, do you know what it is?

Garnet: No.

Quote:

wtf is a tv donut

Phoenix: See, even the author doesn’t even know WTF a TV donut is!

Maya: ...Nick, did you just say “WTF” out loud?

Phoenix: ...Agh, I did. This author is really getting to me.

Quote:

while steepen was walking back home he bump into a man in suit"o escus me" said steve

Maya: Hey, maybe that’s you, Nick.

Phoenix: That would explain why you and I are here. But then again, that would make sense. And this is a jakkidfic.

Pearl: So many different misspellings of Steven’s name… They almost seem intentional.

Pearl: Oh, no, no. We simply destroy their body and encase their gems in bubbles, preventing them from regenerating their physical forms.

Phoenix: ...Right, forget I asked.

Quote:

really tho he just wanted to watch the tv donut"ok fine" say garnet and they leavt"ha now i can watch crying breakfast friend" says teven but he acidentally eat the tv donut

Maya: How do you accidentally eat something?

Steven: I dunno, maybe I mistook it for a real donut?

Amethyst: Nah, Steven, you’re not that dumb.

Quote:

"SHIT" say steven

Pearl: Steven! Where did you learn that kind of language?

Steven: That’s not really me, Pearl…

Quote:

"I MEEN CRAP"

Pearl: ...Okay, that’s slightly better.

Maya: Still not Cartoon Network friendly, though.

Management: God damn it! Fourth wall, guys! Come on!

Maya: Is it really the fourth wall if Cartoon Network exists in our universe?

Management: It is if it’s not officially confirmed to exist.

Quote:

but then ther was noisein bushesover theresteven lookd over there and saw THE SUIT MAN FROM BEFOR

Maya: Oh shoot, what’s he doing here?

Phoenix: Advancing the plot.

Quote:

"o shit" said suit man and he run away"HEY WAIT" say steven and he chas after himbut he couldnt find him

Maya: Ooh, mysterious! I wonder what he was doing there!

Phoenix: Probably some generic evil bad guy plans.

Steven: Well, if that’s what he’s got planned, we’ll stop him!

Quote:

wen he got back to portal the gems were there"WHERE WERE U STeven you ssaid youd guard the portal""the winky guy wa here, he ran away when he see me""u lying, you just wanted to watch breakfastfriends""no"

"ok im gonna wait till ever1 one is sleep then ill look for suit guy"steven waited till it was nighttime

Steven: What? But gems don’t have to sleep.

Pearl: This author could have at least done a little research before writing about us.

Quote:

"o yea" said stevem "gems dont sleep"

Pearl: ...Oh.

Steven: Oh, come on, I wouldn’t forget that!

Quote:

so steven insted left a steven dummy in he bed then snuck to the portal and left to the place wit the portals he was in before so he could look for the suite guy that got him grounded cause he were real mad of that cause he hates being ground cause it means he cant watch tha tv or anythin g so he is mad cause of that

Maya: Holy run-on sentence, Batman.

Pearl: There it is again with the “mad cause of that”! Why does he keep repeating this one sentence?

Phoenix: Maybe it’s some attempt at a running joke.

Quote:

but when steven appear there he real ize that suit guy is NOT THERE"GADOOP" say steven

Amethyst: …”Gadoop”?

Pearl: Is that some kind of new human slang I don’t know about?

Steven: No, I’ve never heard that word before.

Phoenix: I don’t think it’s a word at all.

Quote:

so he got back onto the protal and ported away but this tiem he went to the swampforest cause he saw him there beforewhen he appear there he go walkin down the path and lookin arouhnd, when he got out of the trees he see a TENT"oshit i wondere how that got there" and he got up to the tetn to see who was in it and he open it and it was SUIT MAN

Phoenix: Well, that didn’t take long.

Maya: It’s not like he could keep us interested with good writing. So he’s gotta keep the plot going.

"i am ad efense attorney who ONE DAY AN YEAR AGO or something like that i went to arrest a murder but i dIED"

Phoenix: I died?

Steven: So, what, are you like a ghost now?

Phoenix: ...Actually, that wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened with this author.

Quote:

"but how r u alive then""BECAUSE edgorth dragd me to hell and then i escaped, but sumhow i end up HERE IN STEVENUNIVERSE WORLD"

Maya: Edgeworth did what?!

Garnet: Edgeworth?

Phoenix: He’s… a friend of mine. I don’t recall him dragging me to hell, though.

Management: Oh, that’s another story.

Phoenix: How many stories has this guy written?!

Management: About 13.

All: …

Maya: We’re not going to have to spork all of those, are we?

Management: Maaaaaaybe. Maybe not.

Quote:

"wat how do you know my name tho""caus steven univers is my favorit tv show""you are in m y world" say phoenis

Phoenix: ...No it’s not. I’ve never watched it.

Pearl: So, in this story, you’re from a world where we’re characters from a TV show, correct?

Phoenix: Both in this show and in our actual lives, apparently. Non-canonically, though.

Management: Mr. Wright, next time you break the fourth wall, I am forwarding the repair fees to your bank account.

Phoenix: Okay, okay, I’m sorry!

Quote:

"aniway since ive told u all abot me im gonna hav to kill u" and he tooked out tha gun from before and point at stephen and FIRE IT

Pearl: No! Steph- I mean, Steven!

Phoenix: Well, I got to the point a lot faster than last time.

Maya: At least it’s better than in the movies where it takes the villain forever to shoot the main protagonist, giving his friends time to save him.

Quote:

BUT the bulet was blockd by stevens shield, it rioched off and hit phoenics in the eye

Pearl: Oh. Phew.

Amethyst: Oh. Wow.

Phoenix: Oh. Ow.

Maya: Wait, you have a shield?

Steven: Oh, yeah! Let me show you!

[A pink shield materializes on Steven’s right arm.]

Phoenix: ...Woah.

Maya: Wow, that’s really cool!

Phoenix: I’d normally be shocked at that, but this is the sporking theater. Anything can happen.

Quote:

"WOW OW FUCK MY EYE YOU SEE IT HURTS BECAUSE A BULLET WENT OFF UR SHIELD AND HIT IT AND NOW I THINK ITS BLIND OR SOMETHIN"

Phoenix: ...Yes, thank you for explaining that, me.

Quote:

and he was jumpin around holdin his hand on his eyesockit which was leaking blooooood allover"ha thats what u get for killing me" say steven

Steven: But he didn’t kill me! He just tried to.

Garnet: And he got what he deserved in the process.

Phoenix: Please don’t tell me I deserve to be shot in the eye.

Quote:

and thNE there was sound behind himIT WERE THE CYRSTAL GEMS

Steven: Alright! Here to save the day!

Quote:

"STEAVEN y are u messing dis guys vacation again" say pearl

Steven: ...Or just ground me again.

Pearl: Why does this author portray us so negatively?

Amethyst: Maybe he thinks it’s funny? I dunno.

Quote:

but phoenxi dident notice them cyrstal gems were ther cause he was too busy wit his eye"FUCK YYYYUO" say phoenix an he grab the gun and fire it radnomly"o shit" say garnit "the gun is real"

Phoenix: That’s what it took for you guys to realize the gun was really a gun?

Garnet: Well, he did take a picture of himself with it.

Pearl: But even then, there are a bunch more reasons for us to not automatically believe everything he says.

Maya: Forget it, Pearl. It’s Jakkidverse.

Quote:

"I TOLD U GUYS, HES EEEEEVIL WEEVIL KINEVIL" sayed steven

Maya: Evil?

Phoenix: Weevil?

Steven: Kinevil?

Maya: I don’t recall Evel Kinevel’s middle name being “Weevil”.

Amethyst: Who are you talking about?

Phoenix: He’s a famous stuntman from a few decades ago. What a weird thing to reference out of nowhere.

Quote:

"wat" say phjoenix and then he notice the cyrstal gems were standin there in BATTL FORMATION"...o shit" say phoenix "EY LOOK BEHIND U ITS A EVIL SNICKERS BAR" and when they look he ran into tha trees

Amethyst: Seriously? We fell for his tricks again?

Phoenix: I’d like to say I’m an idiot for using tactics like this, but considering the fact that they’re actually working… Yeah, I’m still an idiot.

Garnet: And we’re even bigger idiots.

Quote:

"AFTER HIM" said ameshit and theyran aftere phoenix

Amethyst: Ame-what?

Steven: Well, that’s mean.

Quote:

"FUCK" say pearl

Pearl: Why do I swear so much in this story?!

Maya: Gotta keep everyone as out-of-character as possible.

Quote:

"ok dont worry steven well find him eventualy""ok" sayed styevenIN THE MEAN WHILE phoenic was running thru the forest and he finaly got to his SEEEECRET LAB BASE

Phoenix: I have a secret lab base?

Maya: Wow, Nick! Why didn’t you tell me?

Phoenix: Because I didn’t know.

Pearl: Wouldn’t we notice something like that?

Garnet: Apparently not.

Quote:

when he got in ther he put on an eyepatch"i am no longere phoenix wright, from now on ppl will call me "big nick"

Amethyst: Pfft… “Big Nick”?

Maya: Wow. Of all things, I didn’t expect a Metal Gear Solid reference from Jakkid.

Phoenix: That’s a really dumb name, though.

Quote:

yea i know thats a stupid name but wright is a dumb ideot so hed come up wit a shit name like that

Phoenix: Wow. I am offended.

Steven: I don’t think I like this author.

Phoenix: Yeah, welcome to the club.

Quote:

anyway if u want to see the next chapter then go to the neckst page unles the new chapter isnt out yet in which case jus wait 4 the new chaoter cause the chapter 3 is gonn be REALLY good i can say that to you

Phoenix: The new chapter isn’t out yet, right? Please say it isn’t.

Management: Nope, not yet.

Phoenix: Thank god for that.

[The lights turn back on, and the doors open.]

Phoenix: Well, that was crappy as usual.

Maya: Well, what else could you expect from jakkid?

Pearl: Pardon me, but I don’t quite see what the point of all that was.

Phoenix: That’s a question we’ve been trying to figure out for ages, Pearl. We’ve given up by now.

Hello everyone! Let's just cut to the chase and get this party started!

Today's Sporking: Showtime 1

Today's Sporkers:

Apollo Justice"As long as I'm not shipped with someone..."

SPORKING BEGIN

Apollo: (after a long day at work) I wonder what's happening on the news right now...*turns on TV*Apollo: Hm? The news isn't on yet. I guess I'll just watch what's on now.

Spoiler:

It is 3 AM and you’re lying alone on a semi-comfortable mattress. There are pillows upon pillows stacked behind you. Your husband went a little overboard, but you are nine months pregnant and about to give birth to a beautiful baby boy, so no matter how many times you insist that you are fine he will not listen.

Apollo: Man, she looks young. Is this a teen pregnancy PSA?

Spoiler:

The doctor is off doing whatever it is doctors do while your husband searches for something to drink. The room is quiet except for the sound of the baby’s heartbeat. It’s this eerie yet calming quiet that makes you think.

Apollo: Why does this sound like a weird POV fanfic? Can you even scientifcally hear a baby's heartbeat in the womb?

Spoiler:

In a few hours—or maybe less, you’re not really sure—you will be a mother. The little human being inside of you will finally take his place in the world. He will depend on you to take care of him. To raise him. To love him. Side-by-side, you and your husband must bring him up to be a productive member of society.

Apollo: That girl doesn't really look responsible. Is this Twilight or something?

Spoiler:

You are terrified of the implications. You are young, separated from your parents and without a college education. How are you to raise a child?

Apollo: Aren't you forgetting about your husband? You should've been more responsible.

You sigh. Move around a little. The contractions are closer than ever before. The epidural is supposed to numb your pain but you’re not sure. You want to ask someone how labor went for them, but your nurse isn’t even married and your doctor has no children. Both swore up and down the epidural would relieve any and all pain—still; it’s scary to think about the agony caused by a child forcing itself out through your nether regions.

Apollo: Don't you have a phone? You can look it up. Does this take place in 1900?

Spoiler:

The imagery induces a shudder. How others have given birth before you, you do not know. People call it magical yet it is nothing like the magic you know. It all seems kind of gross if you’re honest. Stretching and fluids and other, unsanitary things, topped off by a human being emerging from your body. Birth seems more fitting to a science fiction movie than real life.

Apollo: Where is this magical imagery coming from?

Spoiler:

The imagery induces a shudder. How others have given birth before you, you do not know. People call it magical yet it is nothing like the magic you know. It all seems kind of gross if you’re honest. Stretching and fluids and other, unsanitary things, topped off by a human being emerging from your body. Birth seems more fitting to a science fiction movie than real life.

Apollo: Wait, when did the first one occur?

Spoiler:

The pressure passes. You’re still alone.

Not for long, you think. Your husband better be back soon. If he doesn’t return before the baby—before Apollo—comes there will be hell to pay.

Apollo: Didn't you say you have a doctor and a nurse? Wait- the baby's name is Apollo?

Spoiler:

Speaking of which; Apollo. The name you finally decided on; the name that you fell in love with. He will be your beautiful ray of sunshine even on your cloudiest days.

Apollo: A swear, a plot twist is going to happen and the baby will die.

Spoiler:

Apollo will be strong, with the all-seeing eyes of his mother and the handsome face of his father. He will live, love, and laugh as his parents have learned to. He will benefit from their knowledge of the world—no matter how limited—and will not ever fear the hand of his father, nor will he know the emptiness left by insufficient love from his mother.

Apollo: How do you know what he looks and acts like when he hasn't even been born?!

Spoiler:

Another contraction hits. The doctor returns, as well as the nurse. Your husband is right behind them, practically trembling with excitement and fear and overwhelming amounts of love.

Apollo: Where were the doctor and nurse? Shouldn't they be with the woman?

Spoiler:

It’s show time.

Apollo: Wow. I have nothing to say. I have no idea what that was. I should've just turned off the TV. What a sucky show.

Thanks for keeping the thread alive as much as you could, folks! I myself haven't been in much of a sporking mood lately, so I'm glad to see that the thread isn't completely dead for when I suddenly want to start sporking again. Besides, the thread dying would be a bummer no matter what. Who will torture all our poor sporkers? Anyway, I read up on the three most recent sporks, and I have some advice/feedback for two of you!

@Planetbox, I actually thought that that fic was pretty hilarious, especially the scene with the Pop-Tart, lol. Anyway, on to the sporking itself, it was good and Maya's lines were particularly funny, but Gumshoe seemed a little too... excitable? Nearly all of his sentences ended in an exclamation point, and he's usually portrayed as a more quiet sporker (though that's up to you of course.) I suggest that next time you mellow him down a bit. Otherwise, pretty funny sporking.

@ocastitaslilium, since you want to do more sporkings, I guess I'll give you some feedback. First, please put the fic in quote boxes, not spoiler boxes. If you're worried that it'll take up too much space, then you can put nearly the whole sporking in a spoiler box. Second, it's, well, kind of boring reading a sporking with only one sporker in it. You don't need a lot of sporkers, even two is enough. Airey's sporking of Breathing is a Necessity has only Phoenix and Edgeworth in it but the dialogue between them was funny and sharp. My favorite part of sporkings is how the character play off each other, and it just isn't as interesting with only one sporker. Lastly, this was the first time I've seen a sporking taking place somewhere else rather than the sporking theatre. While I don't think it's something that should be used all the time, it was a neat idea. Is the management somehow able to hack their TVs and torture them even when they're not in the theatre now? Hmm, what a great power... Haha

I don't quite wanna see it die either but uh...I'm way behind. It's been about a year since I was on here last and the last thing I remembered was some really edgy ass fanfics with gore and stuff. Perhaps I can throw my hat into the ring? I'm gonna see if I can get back into the community again.

Last edited by SenorJustice-dono on Wed Sep 14, 2016 3:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

But your's was really good that I didn't have much to say! Plus I never watched Steven Universe so I couldn't really comment on their characters. I did like the literal fourth wall breaking, though.

SenorJustice-dono wrote:

Perhaps I can throw my hat into the ring? I'm gonna see if I can get back into the community again.

You're more than welcome to do so. The more the merrier! Especially with the way the thread is now. I remember when we used to go through nearly a whole page in a day. That was a little much, honestly; but it was fun.

I kind of want to spork my own fic, but the main characters (Athena, Simon, Aura and Apollo) are a bit tricky to write. (It's about

Spoiler: Dual Destinies

Simon and Athena going to an island where the phantom was transferred to a prison, but of course he escaped, and when Simon and Athena arrive, they turn out not to be the only one wanting to catch the phantom

I just realized that Neni deleted her sporking of Phoenix's Turnabout that was on dropbox I don't have the sporking itself, sadly, but I did save the two chapters of the fic that she sporked. Because that fic is a work of art and it will be a sad day if it gets deleted forever. So if anyone wants to re-spork it, I put it here. I don't think anything will ever be as crazy or downright beautiful as that sporking, but be my guest to give it a shot.

Anyway, since I see some new people willing to spork, here's an updated list of all the bad fics.

Spoiler:

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:

One moment, please.

I still love this thread. If anyone hasn't done this one yet, I have an offering:

Speaking of new fics, has anyone tried this one? Oh dear. I can't bring myself to go behind the first few paragraphs... because ROFL.

Thane sporked the first chapter, but there's another one

SenorJustice-dono wrote:

I was thinking of sporking one myself that was just some nonsense about the Roman Empire and a time-travelling Phoenix that inexplicably comes to defend someone from the Roman empires and it's just train wreck of a fic. Another thing that's weird is random cameos from Bobby Fulbright and Simon Blackquill, which are nonsensical because of the fact that a.) Blackquill is out of jail after DD, despite the fact that the fic has him in jail with one of the main characters, and b.)"Bobby Fulbright" is still in his detective guise, just to sput his catchphrase. Here's the link if you want to read it: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9936350/1/The-extreme-skip-of-time-the-meeting-of-the-greatest-attorneys-ever

Rubia gave up on this one but has already done the first two chapters.

Anyway, here's the link to that crossover I mentioned. I notice gratuitous amounts of OOC and a time set "1000 years" after LoK, which at most would be represented by the late 1800s - early 1900s by our history. Also, the author has no concept of how bending is supposed to work.

Apparently luck and HermannVonKarma were working on this, but I haven't seen either of them in a while.

TheJettSet27 wrote:

I would enjoy sporking a fanfiction sometime. In fact, I have a couple lined up. The first one is actually written well, it's just the shipped characters and the use of the magatama I find most interesting:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3925051/1/ ... SUCCESSFULThis is one I would bring Adrian or Luke in, considering they're the couple in here.

And finally (making this more than a couple) another Kristoph one. He is found not guilty and allowed to roam free. This has bonus points in my book for the mention of him wearing one glove because all I could see in my head was him in a Michael Jackson outfit.https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10778356/1 ... Chronicles

wizkid99 wrote:

Instead of a sporking, I wanted find something you guys to have this fanfic I found while browsing through Ace Attorney fan fiction.I'll look forward to anyone's next sporking.

AireyVerkhovensky wrote:

Psst, Rubia: I finally found you an Investigations fic. It's a little bit on the long side and honestly not that bad (...actually, I thoroughly enjoyed it) but it is very silly. Here.

Wow, this is really getting interesting over there. Great sporking as usual Airey!

Moving on, I found this fic featuring LukeXMaya. And Maya coming over for Ace Detective advice. Yeah, you can already see the huge plot hole created from the premise alone. I remember reading this once and I don't know why I didn't instantly suggest this for sporking material.

I was going to do chapter two of Flappy Attorney, but I think I'll wait until the old management comes back.

iglootheraptor was apparently going to spork it

Rubia Ryu the Royal wrote:

Make them suffer. >:)

Edit: @Airey, remember the author of the one fic we did a collab on? Apparently, this author has written up another case.

I guess we should go in order, but whoever wants to do a follow up to our collab sporking can go right ahead. At the time of our sporking, the first chapter was the only one we found, so we're not exactly calling dibs on it.

wizkid99 wrote:

Anyway, I currently reading a fic where Kristoph Gavin and Daryan Crescend escape from prison....And that's all I'm going to tell you for now because I'm not done yet, and for spoilers. The fic is thirty-seven chapter's long. As of this post, I'm on chapter twenty-three. And I don't know how to feel about this fic whether it's too good to not be sporked or if it's sporkable material. I want to let my fellow sporker's read it to judge for themselves.The fic itself is a slight AU where Kristoph adopted Apollo six years before AJ:AA and a slight Klavipollo is in there to. The fluff doesn't kick in until later.

I wanted to say, I like this thread. As to proposing fanfics, maybe someone can Spork Evr1 420 yolos made? It is actually good(and written bad on purpose as I saw the author writing beter than there ), but it may be fun to spork https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10625733/1/

Ignore post.Edit: I found this while browsing Fanfiction. It's fairly old, but I don't think it's been sporked yet. I only skimmed it quickly, so I can't say much about the writing quality. Anyone interested in giving it a go?

Guys, what do you think about fics that involve rape, incest, an awful lot of nonsensical pairings, some really disturbing things and downright stupidity and aren't Law Plus Chaos? And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11187836/1/The-Pain-of-Payne = I think this is worth looking into. It may not be as bad as the fic with Rubina but... it's just strange.

cuteyounggirlplus wrote:

I have some links to fics that I believe can be sporked:

I'm not sure if this fic has been sporked on the old forums or not but it deserves to be sporked. The author even refers to it as a troll fic on his profile page so there's no doubt left of it's sporkability:

It was Edgeworth and Pearl. Nick's just been around for all of them because he deserves it. ;)

And this may be irregular, but we'd done it before and with permission. I'm dropping by again to introduce some fics that I wrote that I wouldn't mind being sporked:viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31369...especially the latest one in a couple posts after the first.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11530750/1/The-Cave-of-Two-Lawyers It has a cave...and lawyers.

Skittlemask wrote:

I don't know why, but this reminded me of a fic I read a long time ago. It had a somewhat silly premise but was executed really really seriously. Has anyone read it before? It was about Manfred von Karma finding a way to posses Phoenix's body, and making him go to the Prosecutor's Office to kill Edgey. He almost succeeded and blew up half of the building. Phoenix was arrested and Edgeworth defended him from his hospital bed via laptop, but he lost and the end of the fic was Nick's execution. I think it was titled Turnabout Jeopardy and was only one chapter long but was 14,000+ wordsIf you're curious.:

Sorry for double post, but I found a fic for sporking...https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11566024/1 ... -last-caseI can't really describe it, I mean... There's this random 7 year old boy matching wits with Phoenix...? (Which makes an amusing image actually) And apparently Godot is found Not Guilty after flat out confessing in the game...?

I still stick with my theory.Ah, I forgot to post the fic I found in my last post, Objection!No really, that's the title.Jasmine is an OC. She's Phoenix's twin sister.Most of the text is straight from the game, but the insertions of Jasmine just make her seem unlikable.Plus she's a bit of a Sue...

cuteyounggirlplus wrote:

I was searching the kink meme and I found two fics shipping Manfred Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth. Here they are.

Holy crap it was annoying finding these fics, my internet was like a snail.

I found this fic (It's Spanish) I'm not 100% sure what it is, but it seems to ship Apollo and Kristoph.Maybe it'd be good for a punishment sporking if he ever gets one?

There's this fic about Apollo apparently being sent to "Gyakuten Saiban Academy" by Zak and Thalassa...And apparently some characters work at this school? Including Shelly de Killer?Yeah, it'll be enjoyable to read being sporked.

Have you ever wanted to be able to read Mr Edgeworth like a book?It's a reader-insert thingy majiggy which I don't get because I'm dumb.Honestly, I only linked it to say "Read Mr Edgeworth" XD

The fanfiction I just linked was one I ran into a while ago. The premise is that the fic's the author's idea of AA6 (made long before the real AA6 was announced, of course) and as such has five cases all emulating the canon games. The first case, while a BLAM plotwise, was okay, and the second case was mostly entertaining. But.....well...

From the third case onward the plot kind of fell into this vortex of confusion and sadness of doom. The last case, while unfinished, is completely insane, and not in a good way. That's not to say it's horrible! It nowhere near the likes of Law Plus Chaos or the like. The thing is- you see-

I can't even vocabulise correctly. Just read it for yourselves to see if it needs to be sporked or not. The only thing is that the fic, like I said, is unfinished and already sits at roughly 90k words. Also, the author only recently got the motivation to update again, so no new chapters for the foreseeable future.

Damn. This is good. Mannys "Adventures". They are quite ridiculous. And the author lacks that big letter key. Now, where was the fanfic where Manny was called Manny? It was one where Manny met My Immortal.

Now, I know jakkid's fics may get a bit repetitive, but I am being 100% truthful in saying holy fucking shit this is the best thing i have read in a long time. I am not joking, that went WAY above his other works, especially chapter 5. I could not stop laughing, holy shit. This needs to be sporked. NEEDS.

Not sure whether anyone can do anything with this but I would like to see the characters reaction to whatever the heck this is. It's rated Mature and is a WrightWorth with the Magmata um... well... oh just look at the fic if you're old enough: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6553360

Somewhat tempted to take this with all the cameos, actually. There was this one really meta fanfic on AO3 with Edgeworth and Gumshoe I happened upon while browsing tumblr, but I didn't save a link. It broke the fourth wall right from the get-go too. Does anyone know which one I'm talking about?

So, some time ago, a parrot (a real parrot) witnessed a murder. IRL. There've been like 100 posts about it on /r/aceattorney.Obviously, people got sick of hearing about it every day. Especially our replacement Jakkid, it seems.

You may wanna edit the list some. I lost interest in aporking that one from ages ago. I wanted to spork this new cringey one of a nonsensical Undertale crossover that may or may not be a troll fic. Is there anyway to tell? Link is in a few posts before this one

Ah I see. Are trollfics on the table for sporking then, or will I need to use another one? I can always work on that other one. I think the reason I was so confounded was because of me going through a tough time while trying to write it and my emotions clouding everything up. What do you think, Skittlemask?

Troll fics are perfectly sporkable and besides, there have been plenty of troll/crack fics sporked in the past. Nearly every fic is sporkable, really. Well, unless they're, like, 50+ chapters with no cutting.

Hey, so, I've been lurking on this thread for the past week or two, and I decided to throw my hat into the ring, so I've made a spork of my own. Apologies if anything contradicts the "narrative". I haven't really been keeping track. This is a six-parter, so the spork'll also be in six parts, and I'll wait for some feedback before putting together the rest of the chapters. Sorry if it's been done before, too. I checked, but I didn't see anything, so I hope I didn't just miss it.

Today's Sporking: "Maya Fey: Ace Theif"!

Two Sahwits

Plagued with grammar issues, and ridiculously serious setups for what should be a fun, lighthearted concept. The only reason it's not a 3 is because nobody says or does anything that I'd completely, totally, 100% rule out for their character. So far, anyway.

Today's Sporkers:

Maya Fey"I'm excited for this one!"

Phoenix Wright"Really? I'm not so sure."

Miles Edgeworth"I'm not entirely sure why I'm still brought to these things."

SPORKING START

*The theater doors open. The trio of sporkers head to their seats, but not before the sporker in blue grabs a few pamphlets detailing today's fanfiction and shows them to the others.*Phoenix: Hey, they have pamphlets this time, take one.

Maya: "Maya Fey: Ace Thief", huh? I like the concept.

Phoenix: *Nose scrunches* I don't.

Maya: Why not? Are you afraid of getting upstaged?

Phoenix: Not quite. Look at the synopsis.

Maya: Oh, no. It's not bad, is it?

Phoenix: "Phoenix has a malignant tumor that grows in his lungs, and only Miles Edgeworth, a great doctor in Germany who can operated and save him."

Maya: ...What does that even have to do with the title?

Edgeworth: Why am I a doctor in Germany?

Phoenix: It then goes on to say that the surgery is so expensive, Maya needs to rob a bank to pay for the operating costs. "Will she make it"? Yes. She will. I'm not dying in this.

Edgeworth: The writer values the setup to the point of melodrama even when the story is about a concept as ridiculous as a teenage spirit medium robbing a bank.

Maya: Thanks for crushing my dreams, you two...

Phoenix: The thieving life isn't what it's cut out to be, Maya.

Edgeworth:...................... Kay, I know you're here. Don't even bother if you're not going to rescue me.

???: Darn!

Phoenix: Alright, enough chit-chat, fellas! Let's get started!

*The Lights Dim*

Spoiler: Chapter 1

Quote:

Maya Fey walked happily to the office of Wright & Co. Law Office, doesn’t care about the cold, the weather was overcast, and rain coming down pretty heavy.

Maya:... What?

Edgeworth: That is quite possibly the most incoherent sentence I've read in a long while.

Phoenix: You walked all the way to the office in the rain? Why not take a bus or something?

Maya: How am I supposed to know!? How am I supposed to know how you even figured out what that was saying!?

Quote:

Whistling, and humming Steel Samurai soundtrack, Maya opened the door and stepped inside. Her boss and her best friend, Phoenix Wright, already in the office, sitting behind his desk, and looks busy typing something.

Edgeworth: Something about this writer's utter lack of understanding of tenses is bothering me more than usual.

Phoenix: And to think you tried to nitpick MY grammar.

Edgeworth: The atrocious grammar of others does not and will not ever excuse that tragedy of a sentence!

Maya:...Am I missing something here?

Phoenix: It was the De Killer case.

Maya: Oh, okay.

Quote:

Maya jumped to the front of Phoenix desk, determined to make him shocked.

"Good morning, Maya. God, you almost made me die of a heart attack! "Phoenix chuckled.

Phoenix: Haha, yeah, I almost died. My arteries were almost clogged, stopping the flow of oxygen in my body and killing me almost instantly, haha. Good morning, haha.

Edgeworth: "You almost gave me a heart attack" is a common saying, Wright. Try again.

Maya: Are you telling me you've never said that before, Nick?

Phoenix: I don't usually chuckle when I say it, no.

Quote:

Maya smiled idly. "Hey, Nick, would you let your eyes for a minute from your laptop and accompany this faithful assistant to watch Steel Samurai DVD?" asked Maya, holding up DVD Steel Samurai that she had brought from home.

Maya: I feel like we're out of Steel Samurai to watch by now, Nick. I think we've even seen all the movies!

Phoenix: Hey, speaking of movies, apparently this was based on a movie.

Edgeworth: This ripped off a movie, you mean.

Phoenix: "Based on movie title Catch That Kid".

Edgeworth: I'll see what I can find about it online, hold on a moment.

Phoenix: What about it?

Edgeworth: And, it has a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes, that's good.

Maya: Well, maybe this is their chance to fix it!

Edgeworth: Doubtful.

Quote:

Phoenix chuckled. "Of course, wait a minute. I, need to go to the bathroom first, "Phoenix replied, getting up from his chair and walked to the office bathroom. Maya then sits on the couch and turned on the TV.

Edgeworth: You seem rather eager to slack off work, Wright. Or "let your eyes for a minute from your laptop" as your assistant put it.

Phoenix: You don't know what I was doing on my laptop. I could've been reading a news article about bees in the Himalayas for all you know.

Edgeworth: The author clearly states you were typing.

Phoenix: Commenting on an article about bees in the Himalayas, then.

Maya: Why is it any better if you weren't doing any work on your laptop, either?

Phoenix:... Oh, I don't know! This isn't me, anyway!

Quote:

Maya had just turned on the TV for a few minutes when she smelled a vomit and bloods.

All:...

Phoenix: That just escalated very fast.

Edgeworth: So, Miss Fey, you ran into the bathroom, prior to knocking on the door, which implies the door was open, correct? What was your thought process at that time?

Maya: Uh... "Man, I hope someone isn't writing a bad fanfiction about me right now". I was eating a burger at the time, because I was in real life.

Quote:

Worried, Maya got up from the couch and ran into the bathroom. With restless heart she knocked on the bathroom door."Nick? Nick? Are you okay? "asked Maya anxious. No answer. Maya then tried to open the bathroom door, and it was not locked.

Phoenix: Wow. You are on your game, Phoenix. I didn't even lock the door?

Edgeworth: I imagine your forgetting to lock the door is designed to convey the panic of the situation.

Phoenix: I didn't look very panicked. I just said "I have to use the bathroom", and then went in.

Quote:

What a shock to Maya when she saw Phoenix bent over the sink, which is already filled with vomit mixed with blood.

"Maya ??" Phoenix turned around and tried to cover up his vomit stains. "I told you to wait, I'll accompany you to watch.""Nick, you throw up very much! Gosh, Nick! Tell me if you're not healthy! "cried Maya.

Phoenix laugh. "I'm fine, Maya!" He retorted.

Phoenix: Okay, for future reference, Maya, if I say I'm fine after you catch me vomiting blood, I am absolutely not fine and don't listen to a word of it.

Maya: Should I write that down?

Edgeworth: Interesting detail to note at the beginning, here. The author's version of you laughs after being confronted by a clearly distraught Maya Fey. As if she is in some way overreacting to this.

Phoenix: Well, I'm perfectly fine, after all. Take one look at me! I just need a minute, then I'll come out and try not to puke on the TV set while we watch it. Or, "Accompany you" to watch it. I like how formal I sound while trying to cover up bloodpuke.

Maya: My dearest compatriot, it would be in your best interest to make your way towards the helicopter posthaste.

Phoenix: You know, that sounds like something Edgeworth could get away with saying.

Edgeworth: What!? It most certainly does not!

Phoenix: You're not doing yourself any favors.

Edgeworth: *Penalty* Agh! Ngh....!

Quote:

Maya felt very irritated right now. Phoenix is always like this, don’t want to make others worried.

Maya: Yeah, that's so irritating of you, Nick!

Phoenix: More than panic, more than utter horror, you're irritated. At me vomiting blood.

Maya: Hey! Who said I wasn't also feeling those other things?

Phoenix: What worries me is that the author didn't say it. Also... I'm not really that bad, am I?

Edgeworth: After falling off a notoriously deadly bridge and almost dying all you asked for was for me to sit in for you while you were sick.

Phoenix: Yeah, but I still let myself be taken to the hospital.

Quote:

"If you’re fine, why there are bloods in your vomits?" accused Maya."Nick, don’t need to pretend healthy in front of me.Let's go to the hospital now! "cried Maya again as she grips Phoenix arms.

Edgeworth: "Why are there bloods in your vomits".

Maya: I couldn't have put it better myself!

Edgeworth: This verbiage is fascinating, as well. You accused that question, Ms. Fey.

"Aaaaghhhhhhhhh ..............." still clutching his chest, Phoenix fell to his knees and collapsed on the bathroom floor.

"NICK! NICK !!!!!!!!! "Maya shouted frantically, trying hard to wake Phoenix and dragged him out of the bathroom.

"Hold on, Nick, hang on, I'll call an ambulance!" cried Maya again as she pulled out her cell phone to call an ambulance.Maya tried hard not to cry when told the ambulance service where the address of the office and how Phoenix condition.

Maya: Well, how you condition, Nick?

Phoenix: I stubbed my toe earlier. That's about it in terms of how I condition.

Edgeworth: You two think you're a riot, don't you?

Phoenix: You mean a Wriot?

Maya: I am not with this man. He is a stranger. He does not represent me.

Quote:

What a relief to Maya when ten minutes later she heard the ambulance siren. The EMT ran into, and simultaneously, with alacrity, they lifted Phoenix to a stretcher.

Phoenix: Ten minutes is a relief!? That's enough time for me to just die, easily, right?

Edgeworth: It depends on the nature of the collapse and the severity. If it was a heart attack, it could have easily killed you in ten minutes. I assume Ms. Fey has been watching you to see if you're still alive, however, so I doubt you're dead.

Maya: Wait, how do you check that?

Phoenix: I think you check the neck for a pul- Ow!

Maya: You're alive.

Phoenix: I won't be if you keep jabbing my neck like that!

Quote:

"What happened, Miss?" asked one of EMTs to the Maya.

"I don’t know!! He had bloody vomit in the bathroom, and then he suddenly clutched his chest and fell unconscious, "sobbed Maya.

The EMT then brought Phoenix into the ambulance, with Maya followed them behind.

Maya: What a slow ambulance.

Phoenix: Maybe you have a license in this universe?

Maya: I walked to the office, though.

Phoenix: So, it just doesn't make sense, then.

Edgeworth: That goes without saying at all times in this godforsaken theater.

Quote:

Shortly afterwards, they arrived at the Central Hospital. The EMT lowers Phoenix and pushed him toward the Emergency Unit.

A doctor who looks in his mid 40-s approached them. "Doctors, patient in critical condition!" exclaimed one of EMTs.

"What is this?? What happened to ......... .Oh! Phoenix ?! "exclaimed the doctor, looked very surprised to see Phoenix who lay unconscious on the stretcher. "Quickly take him to the ER right now!"

Phoenix: Why is the doctor so surprised? And why is he using my first name?

Maya: I bet it'll be one of the ones where you know someone the audience hasn't met yet!

Phoenix: But those are the bad fanfictions, though.

Edgeworth:...

Quote:

"Doctor, what happened with ............." Maya didn’t get to finish her question because the doctor had already disappeared.

While waiting, Maya didn’t stop crying. What's going on with Nick? What if he left me, like Mom, Dad, and Mia leave me? Nick, you're the only family I had ......... Please don’t leave me too, Nick !!! Maya screamed inwardly.

Phoenix: I thought you call Mia "sis".

Maya: Mmm-hmm.

Phoenix: So they got this wrong.

Maya: Mmm-hmm.

Quote:

Half an hour later, the Doctor who handles Phoenix walk toward Maya.

"Miss, are you Phoenix relative?" asked the doctor friendly, holding out his hands. Maya welcomes the Doctor hands and they shake hands.

"I'm his assistant in the office," Maya replied softly.

"To introduce myself, I'm Dr. Joaquin Ortega," said the doctor again.

Phoenix: I don't think I get the name pun. Do either of you?

Edgeworth: There doesn't appear to be one, at a cursory glance.

Maya: Hold on, I'll look it up...

Phoenix: What does it say?

Maya:...........Joaquin Ortega is a real person.

Phoenix: What!?

Maya: Yup. A "Professor of biochemistry at McMaster University".

Phoenix: That can't be legal, right?

Edgeworth: Depending on the state, it is not legal, no. This could be grounds for a lawsuit.

Maya shook her head. "Illness, Doctor? What is Nick disease ?? You’ve known Nick for a long time? "

Maya: Nick disease!? Is Nick disease contagious!?

Phoenix: I've been told my stubbornness rubs off on others. Although that was Dr. Hotti and he may not have been talking about my stubbornness.

Edgeworth: PG-13, Wright!

Phoenix: What!? It's not like I said it!

Edgeworth: But you did! Just now!

Quote:

Dr. Joaquin nodded. "I know Phoenix since he was in elementary school .... His parents trust me to control his health.

Maya: Called it!

Phoenix: Great work on that front, Dr. Joaquin. The real Joaquin should sue for slander. You know what? I should sue for slander.

Edgeworth: On what grounds?

Phoenix: Uh... I'll find something, you'll see.

Quote:

Look, Mrs. Fey, since childhood, Phoenix had a tumor growing around his lungs, he gets the tumor because he’s too often breathing dirty air, and he was also passive smokers, because his father is a heavy smoker.

Phoenix: Found something! That was quick! My dad was not a heavy smoker!

Maya: But you can't REALLY say your dad didn't smoke, can you?

Phoenix: Yes I can!

Maya: Really? Are you suuuuuure?

Phoenix:... Gah! I guess not.

Quote:

Actually, when he was a child, the tumor growing around his lungs is still small, and can be immediately removed if only the boy would want surgery and want to use ventilator ....... But he always refused, always said that he didn’t need surgery or ventilator, and that he would be fine ... ..That boy, always stubborn and never want to pay attention to his health ... "Dr. Joaquin sighed.

Edgeworth: It depends if informing others of your lung cancer would be a disadvantage to your case or not.

Phoenix: Can you please just agree with me on this?

Quote:

Maya smiled weakly. "Nick always like that, Doctor ... Before he passed out, I caught him throwing up with blood pretty much in the sink in our office, and he tried to cover the vomit stains, and says that he is okay.

Phoenix: "Pretty much" in the sink? Is that implying I missed?

Maya: Why would you even say that, Nick!? Now I'm picturing a puke-bathroom!

Quote:

I would not even know if he is vomiting if I’m not smelling the vomits.”

Phoenix: That's some pretty long-range vomit scent if you can smell the vomits all the way from there. Are you smelling the vomits now, Maya?

Phoenix: Why is this story so insistent on calling me stubborn? I think I got the message. I have a lot of personal issues to take care of, apparently.

Maya: It's not even the right kind of stubborn!

Phoenix: That's what I'm saying! I'm not the "I'm fine" guy! I just... usually end up fine. Still don't think that applies to lung cancer.

Quote:

Well, the thing is, Mrs. Fey, now the tumor in his lungs had grown to be very large, and if it’s untreated, the tumor can take one of his lungs. Though I had warned him from the first, but the boy didn’t want to listen. "

Maya looked up, trying hard not to cry. "And, Doctor ...... .what to do ?? You can heal Nick, right? Please, Doctor! He's the only family I have now, I beg you !! "Maya sobbed.

Phoenix: Uh... I promise I'll tell you if I contract or discover any terminal illnesses in the future.

Maya: Much better.

Quote:

Dr. Joaquin sighed deeply. "Unfortunately, the equipment and the treatment here is not sophisticated enough to operate on a tumor that big. Very risky if we operate Phoenix with limited equipment. But, there is hope, Mrs. Fey.

Maya: Wait, MRS. Fey!?

Edgeworth: You only noticed that now?

Phoenix:... 10 bucks that the groom's me.

Maya: 20 bucks that it's someone else!

Edgeworth: 100 dollars that it's a mistake.

Quote:

There is a great Doctor in Germany, his name is Miles Edgeworth, which can handle a case like Phoenix. But, the cost ....... "

Edgeworth: Why am I a doctor? And why Germany?

Phoenix: I thought the Von Karmas lived in Germany.

Edgeworth: The Von Karmas are also prosecutors, Wright. Is this some sort of alternate universe?

Phoenix: Yeah, read the synopsis.

Edgeworth: Oh, I see it. "AU".

Phoenix: The whole reason I took interest in law in the first place was because of you. Why am I even a lawyer in this?

Maya: Because my sis is the best, maybe?

Phoenix: Maybe. But, wait! She wouldn't be a lawyer without Edgeworth, either!

Maya: Oh, right. DL-6. I almost forgot.

Edgeworth:...

Quote:

"How much, Doctor? How much the costs required for Nick’s operation? "cried Maya.

"US $ 250,000, Mrs. Maya Fey. "

Slowly Maya slipped on hospital walls.

Edgeworth: How does one slip on a wall?

Maya: Oh, like in Inception!

Phoenix: You need a weird brain to think some of these things through, Edgeworth.

Edgeworth: That was "thinking it through"?

Quote:

How did she get that kind of money for Nick operating expenses? Oh Nick .......

Maya: So I did get the money? Glad that's settled!

Edgeworth: And the terrible tense attack strikes again.

Maya: Just like the awesome art of alliteration.

Quote:

"You want to see Phoenix now? I think in a few minutes, he will be wake up. "

Edgeworth: I refuse to further comment on the grammatical errors.

Phoenix: Aw, why not?

Edgeworth: Because Dr. Joaquin just said "he will be wake up". It couldn't possibly get any worse.

Phoenix: Aw... come on, Edgeworth. Don't be like that.

Edgeworth: I will be like that, Wright. I feel personally insulted.

Quote:

Maya nodded, and Dr. Joaquin escorted Maya to Phoenix room.

When Maya saw Phoenix lying unconscious on the hospital bed, wearing a hospital gown with pale turquoise color, with a variety of hose and infusions connected to him, Maya felt nauseous, not overpowering to see Phoenix in such conditions.

Phoenix: "Not overpowering"? What a weird thing to just point out.

Maya: Maybe it was trying to say "nauseous, if not overpowering"?

Phoenix: I'm sure you felt really overpowering when you came up with that defense.

Maya: Maybe it was trying to say "nauseous, if not rude and no fun"?

Quote:

"I'll leave you two alone," murmured Doctor Joaquin then stepped out.

Maya sat on the bed next to Phoenix, then sob quietly.

"Oh, Nick ...... Why are you so stubborn? Why did you never once told me about a malignant tumor that live around your lungs? Why don’t you want surgery before? Now see you doing, Nick ......... What if ... what if ...... ..you leave me like my parents, and Mia leave me? The only hope is you brought to Germany to be operated ... But your operating costs .......... Where can I get money of US $ 250,000 for the cost of your operation? Where can I get the money, Nick ?? Oh, Nick, if you're not stubborn, the tumor would have disappeared from your body now ... ..I don’t want to lose you too, Nick ....... "Maya sobbed, stroking Phoenix hands that filled with the IV needle.

Phoenix: Oh, no. Ship-bait! This is ship-bait! This entire fanfiction is just a huge scheme to ship-bait!

Edgeworth: Also, if and when you do this in real life, don't stroke the hand that the IV is in, that's unsafe.

Maya: I wasn't going to!

Quote:

Phoenix slowly opened his eyes. "M-maya?" whispered Phoenix, his voice is very weak.

Phoenix: Wait, were you just talking to yourself that whole time!?

Maya: Don't tune out your friends when they're trying to summarize the last page of exposition, Nick!

Quote:

"Nick! Finally you wake up! You want something, Nick? You want a drink? "asked Maya, was very relieved to see Phoenix is conscious.

Edgeworth: WE KNOW SHE'S RELIEVED. THAT WAS CLEAR FROM THE DIALOGUE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO TELL US.

Phoenix: Speaking of, you have now officially called me "Phoenix" in this fanfiction more times than I can remember you calling me in the past two years.

Maya: A record? Yeah! I brought a party popper!

Phoenix: Maya, please don-

*The popper went off*

Phoenix:... Ow. My ears.

Quote:

How is it not important? This is about your health, about your life !!! You don’t know how I feel, how I panicked and sad when you suddenly vomited and passed out in the bathroom!

Phoenix: But I saw you, though. I'm pretty sure I know exactly how you "panicked and sad" when that was going on.

Edgeworth: You expect too much, Wright. Think about this passage, and think about the way that nobody would ever speak like this.

Maya: Okay, what now?

Edgeworth: We continue onward, in order to further our progress towards a reprieve from this drivel.

Quote:

You don’t understand how upset I was when I heard all what Dr. Joaquin told me ... That your tumor had grown very large and if left untreated, the tumor can take one of your lungs! The only hope is brought you to Germany to be operated, and the fee is US $ 250,000, from where I could get that much money for your operation, Nick?!! "

Maya: I've heard of "wearing your heart on your sleeve", but this is more like "explaining with broken English the exact position of heart on slevs hem".

Edgeworth: Raising one's eyebrows has almost nothing to do with one's feelings of guilt. Continue.

Quote:

"Maya, you don’t have to think about anything, really, this is not important, not your duty to make money for the cost of my surgery, really, you don’t need to think about it, I'll be fine ...."

"Of course I have to think about it! Of course, this is very important to me, Nick! You are the only family that I have in this world ...... .. You’ll be fine, you say? Don’t you understand?! A tumor in your lungs had grown too big, if left untreated will take one of your lungs! If you leave me too, I'll be alone again ...... Nick, it never occurred to me that you are very selfish ...... You never think of others who love you and worry about you, never! You're so stubborn! You will be operated, and I'll get the money for your operating costs, no matter how! "Maya shouted again, her face wet with tears now.

Maya: Oh, would you please shut up!?

Phoenix: Uh... Maya?

Maya: This me is such a crybaby! Forget this! O spirit of Mia Fey, slumbering in the Twilight Realm-

Phoenix: Maya, calm down, it's not that big of a deal.

Maya: Aw, it didn't work. Now I'm all distracted because of you.

Phoenix: Let's just relax, okay? This is probably the last time a scene like this'll happen.

Maya: Darn.*Deep breath* Okay, fine.

Quote:

Phoenix stunned, then held Maya’s hands.

Edgeworth: Oh, dear.

Phoenix: Can we say "Ship-bait" on three? One, two, three...

Maya: Ship-bait!

Phoenix: Ship-bait!

Edgeworth: No.

Quote:

"Maya, I'm sorry, I, never knew that my health is very important to you ......

Phoenix: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

Maya: He never knew that his terminal lung cancer was going to be something the person he spends the most time with would care about?

Phoenix: Because you needed a confidence boost, that's why. Be sure to thank me for that, Alt-Maya.

Quote:

Maya looked up, wiping her eyes, and nodded slowly.

Phoenix: You're welcome.

Edgeworth: And you're far too full of yourself.

Phoenix: Hey! I am proportionately full of myself, I'll have you know.

Maya: That was your defense, Nick!?

Edgeworth: Also, you never answered the question posed at the beginning of this conversation.

Phoenix: Oh, yeah. I never explained why I never said anything about the tumor, did I? Guess we'll never know.

Quote:

The next day, while take care of Phoenix in the hospital, Maya began trying to search for a second job that roughly match the hefty salary. But none of the jobs that match her abilities. Frustrated, Maya threw a pile of newspapers that run ads for a variety of jobs to the couch and stepped out to eat in the hospital cafeteria.

Maya: Quickly! I need a quarter of a million! Where should I look?

Phoenix: Check the help wanted ads in the paper! Those jobs always have a huge payout!

Maya: Oh, I could do one of those really high-paying jobs, like a gardener, or a party organizer.

Edgeworth: This is sarcasm, yes?

Phoenix: Of course not.

Edgeworth: Then I'm afraid I have some disappointing news for you.

Phoenix:... I was kidding.

Edgeworth: *Penalty* Ack!

Maya: Gardening is a famously affluent profession, I've heard.

Quote:

In the corridor, she accidentally collided with Larry and fell to the floor.

"Use your eyes when you’re walking, Mr. Butz! "cried Maya upset.

Phoenix: "Mr. Butz"? Who's on a last name basis with Larry? Not even Edgeworth is on a last name basis with Larry!

Edgeworth: Why does it matter what I call him?

Maya: Because you still call me "Ms. Fey".

Edgeworth: That is because we barely ever speak to each other outside of this event I do not voluntarily attend. It means nothing.

Phoenix: We call each other by out last names, too.

Edgeworth: Erm... forget it.

Quote:

Larry smiled shyly, and reached out his hands to help Maya stand.

"Hello, Maya, long time no see. Good to see you again. You've been here long? "Asked Larry.

Phoenix: ...Shyly?

Maya: Am I getting shipped with Larry, too, now!?

Edgeworth: This writer is, in all likelihood, not a native speaker, which would cause a number of questionable uses of words.

Phoenix: Which is why you get proofreaders. Or get 1 proofreader. Or... really reconsider writing a fanfiction in a language you aren't good at.

Quote:

"Yes, I am here since the first day Nick treated. From where you hear Nick treated in this hospital? "

"Oh, Dr. Joaquin told me. The three of us have long known. My father and Dr. Joaquin are old friends. "Larry replied, then looked at Maya again.

"Why are you crying, Maya?"

Maya hastily wiped tears from her eyes. "It's nothing, Larry."

Phoenix: That is the most hypocritical thing I have ever seen in anything I've ever read.

Maya: Wait, really? Right after all that complaining!? And why was I even crying in the first place!?

Larry raised his eyebrows. "Come on, Maya, we were both already known for a long time. You and I are friends, right? Just tell me what your problem is, maybe I can help. "

Maya looked at Larry with hesitation. Yeah ...... I guess it would not hurt to tell everything to Larry ... Although maybe he can only give idiot suggestions, at least there is a place for tell about her confusion and desperation ...

Then both of them walked into the cafeteria and sat down. Maya ordered a glass of milk and a burger while Larry ordered a cup of coffee.

Phoenix: Larry doesn't strike me as the coffee type.

Maya: Yeah, he's more of an apple juice and a cookie kind of person.

Edgeworth:... I was about to disagree, but I would be incorrect to.

Quote:

"So," said Larry as he sipped his coffee, "What's your problem, Maya?"

"It’s about Nick, Larry. Larry, you said you’ve known Dr. Joaquin for a long time, do you know about the tumor that grows in Nick’s lungs? "

Larry choked on his coffee. "Tumor? What do you mean, Maya? "

Maya sighed deeply. "Then you don’t know about Nick’s disease? Dr. Joaquin told me yesterday. There is a tumor that grows in Nick’s lungs, since he was a kid the tumor had been growing in his lung. Now, the tumor had grown very large in Nick’s lungs, and if Nick not operated as soon as possible, the tumor can take one of Nick’s lungs, Larry .... "Maya replied haltingly.

Phoenix: They keep talking about taking a lung like it's any different from killing me.

Maya: Maybe the writer thinks lungs work like kidneys.

Edgeworth: I may as well state for the record that they do not, in case there are any aspiring writers in management with a similarly terrible understanding of anatomy.

Speaker: I appreciate the advice, Mr. Edgeworth.

Phoenix: Okay, it worries me that that person learned something from that.

Quote:

"Maya, really, I didn’t know all of this. Indeed, while in elementary school, I sometimes see Nick grabbed his chest in pain, but he would never say anything if I asked what’s wrong with him. Then, why Dr. Joaquin did not immediately operated him if Nick lives in danger? "

Phoenix: Wait, so, I have consistent chest issues in this? How come Maya never saw any of them?

Maya: Because how else would I be so surprised by the bloods in your vomits?

Quote:

"He said, the equipment here is still very limited. And it is very risky if they operated Nick with limited equipment. The only hope is to bring Nick to Germany to be operated on by a doctor named Miles Edgeworth but ... ..the cost is US $ 250,000, Larry .... From where I could get money that much? You know, how much Nick meant to me, and if he’s not operated as soon as possible .... "Maya sobbed again.

Larry put his hand Maya’s shoulder. "Calm down, Maya. We will find a way out. I work in Gavin Bank, a bank owned by Kristoph Gavin. Surely you've heard of him? "

"Yes, I think I've heard Nick say his name. They went to school together in high school, right? "

Edgeworth: Temporary breach of the no-grammar rule to point out that "They went to school together in high school" is redundant.

Phoenix: Also, who's Kristoph Gavin? I've never heard of this person before. Another made-up person that I apparently have backstory with, why am I not surprised?

Larry nodded excitedly. "Yes, they were classmates in high school. We could borrow money to Kristoph. Tomorrow you come with me, we will tell him how’s Nick condition. He's a friend of Nick, he may not refuse to help his old friend, right? "

Maya nodded and smiled, relieved that there are a ray of hope to save Nick.

The next day, as Larry promised, he brought Maya to meet Kristoph in his office.Nervously, they knocked on the Kristoph office door.

"Come in."

Maya and Larry stepped inside.

"Please sit down," said Kristoph as he invited them both to sit. Larry and Maya then sat down.

"What is it, Mr. Butz? And who the beautiful woman you bring here? "asked Kristoph.

Maya: I feel violated by everyone in this story.

Edgeworth: At least you're not some endgame. All I am is just some strange, distant figure who you're supposed to get to.

Maya: Like Oz.

Phoenix: ShnOz.

Edgeworth: I would tell you to try again, Wright, but I don't want to hear any further attempts at humor from you.

Quote:

"Well, introduce, I'm Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright’s assistant in the Wright & Co. Law Office.Larry told me that you and Nick was classmates in high school, right, Mr. Gavin? "asked Maya nervous, she felt a strange aura from Kristoph, and she didn’t like it.

"Yes, Mrs. Fey. Whether your visit has to do with wright? "

Maya swallowed, and nodded. "Yes, Mr. Gavin. Well, Nick is ill, very ill, there is a very large tumor growing in his lungs, and the doctor said, if Nick not operated as soon as possible, the tumor can take one of his lungs. Nick can’t be operated here, the doctor said equipment here is limited , he had to be operated on in Germany. "

"And?" Kristoph answer with a very cold tone, doesn’t imply any sympathy at all, and Maya didn’t like the direction this conversation.

Edgeworth:...*Grumble*.

Maya: Nick? I think Mr. Edgeworth's upset.

Phoenix: Yeah, well... that was a little... egregious.

Edgeworth: A little, Wright!? A little egregious!?

Phoenix: You okay, buddy?

Edgeworth: This single sentence defies so many basic principles of writing for no good reason that I don't feel I should be held accountable for what I do if I see something like this again.

Quote:

"The operation cost is $ 250,000, Mr. Gavin, and uh, I, need your help. I want to borrow money from you for ... Nick operating costs. You can hire me for 24 hours jobs without me getting paid to pay you back, or whatever, it's up to you, but please, Mr. Gavin, please help Nick! "cried Maya stammered.

Maya: What are 24 hours jobs?

Phoenix: Jobs that you do for 24 hours, I guess.

Maya: Straight!? What kind of operation is this guy running, Nick!?

Phoenix: It was your idea.

Maya: H-huh!? Why would I even say that!?

Phoenix: All a part of your desperate search, I guess.

Quote:

Kristoph raised his eyebrows, his face without expression. "Sorry, Mrs. Fey, but I can’t lend money that much only for Wright operating costs. "

Maya gaped in disbelief. "What do you mean by 'just' Mr. Gavin? It's about Nick, your old friend during school! He’s very ill, and .... And…. You can save him! Don’t you want to help your old friend? "cried Maya, while Larry was also stunned to hear Kristoph’s answer.

Phoenix: I'm guessing we haven't talked since high school in this? Why would he just lend the money for someone he barely knows anymore for no reason?

Maya: Because you two are secret lovers!

Phoenix: No.

Quote:

Kristoph shook his head. "Sorry, Mrs. Fey. But I really can’t help you. I can’t throw away $250,000 just for the operating costs of one person, while the money could be more beneficial for the bank's operational costs. Well, Mrs. Fey, if nothing else you want to talk, I invite you to go now. I still have a lot of work. "

Maya stood up from her chair, her body quivering with fury, her fists raised.

"Do you have no heart, Mr. Gavin? "

Kristoph sly smile."Banks never have a heart, Mrs.Fey.Especially a heart for stubborn man who can’t even keep his own health.”

Phoenix: Why does he know it has anything to do with my "stubbornness"? Has he been eavesdropping?

Maya: Maybe he slipped some cancer into your drink when you were in high school or something.

Edgeworth: Yes. It's only fair you suffer through this after everything I've been in.

Phoenix: I don't remember you being in the one where Maya, channeling me, has sex with my own unrecognizably damaged corpse.

Maya: I thought we agreed not to talk about that one!

I'm pretty sure Edgeworth was in that sporking, though. Also, the sporkers knew Kristoph that time, so if you're using their OT incarnations they shouldn't be aware that even happened. That's what I think, at least. Time here has always been a little weird.

Other than that, it was a pretty fun read and I give you props for sporking a serious fic. Trollfics get pretty stale after so many. Edgeworth felt a little off but I can't pinpoint exactly how. I think it's stuff like checking up that movie in the internet. I feel like that's not something he would bother do. I'd say he's too much into the fic, if that makes any sense.

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