This story is so interesting and extraordinary, which you have not read before. We recommend this for you. Read, and enjoy! (Holder Volcano)

28.04.2018 22:22 | Author: Administrator |

Holder Volcano

Member of the Uzbek Union of Writers

Key

(The story)

When the letter of the Commander of the Air Forces and Land Forces of General Thomas Yakkabaloon and his Deputy, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar came to the presidential office, Press Secretary of the President, Mr. Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, deep thought, stares at the envelope not knowing what to do. There was a scary security team:

- Attention, all employees of the presidential apparatus! Close the door of their offices on the bolt and clear the corridor! Mr. President is coming! - cried the guard in the can mouthpiece. Press Secretary of the President froze as in the photo at attention. Finally in the corridor there was a President surrounded by enhanced protection. After some time the President of the country Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos, Dominic, came over and for a moment paused at the entrance of his gorgeous beloved, a spherical Cabinet. Before entering his office, he gave a cursory glance at the Press Secretary's Desk, where a pile of letters lay.

- Well, what news? What are they, again from the people, or what? Oh, how tired of these bastards anonymity with my eternal complaints. It's like I don't have other things to do than read these stupid letters, where they only write about their problems. There is not one person among them who could write not about his problems, but about the problems, if not the global scale, at least about those that relate to the problems of our state. Come on, give me that big envelope. Here I see something extraordinary. This letter, either from the leaders of other States or from the diplomatic corps of the Commonwealth - said, as if guessing, the President of The country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, taking and looking at the envelope with interest. Then smiled widely, looking at the letter's address.

- Oh my, a letter from a mental hospital! - He exclaimed, and laughed, shaking her whole body. - Huwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-haaaah! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-haaaaa! Wahahahahahaha! Look, the letter from the psychiatric hospital?! E-mine... This is the first time I have received such a letter during my 45-year presidency, honestly! I wonder what they write. That's supposed to be funny... - the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, said, wiping tears into his huge checkered leaky headscarf, which turned on his eyes from laughter. Logging in to his spherical, he unsealed the envelope and began to read the letter from the mental hospital patients, Commander of the Air Forces and Land Forces of General Thomas Yaccabaloon and his Deputy, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alphonse DE Valdemar.

Mr. President!

Although healthy people consider us fools, crazy and other bad words, but we, patients of the Central madhouse of the capital of our independent country, paradoxically, are the most intelligent, the most brilliant people on the planet. We have famous poets, thinkers, philosophers of all stripes, psychics, clairvoyants, foretellers, great scientists, astronauts, valiant invincible generals, telepaths who read other people's thoughts, who declared themselves prophets and even gods, nomads of time, masters of the universe, defenders of humanoids in solar systems and in the nebula of the universe, great Opera singers with the voices of soprano, baritone, tenor. There are among us also disgraced leaders of opposition parties, drunken human rights defenders wearing torn clothes, are not your "colleagues". This raises the question: why should our state not take advantage of the free services of these capable, talented patients in solving problems that have arisen in the political arena of the world? To resolve issues our forces, force patients of our madhouse in area defense. We often hear that hundreds, sometimes thousands, of innocent, mentally healthy young soldiers of our country are being killed in the hot spots of our planet. What if to encourage us, psychopaths, paranoid schizophrenics, and the army are healthy guys, in the spiritual sense of the word? First, we are strong, healthy, brave, brave people. Secondly, we are not afraid of anything, and we have nothing to lose. Thirdly, we will not sit idly, on subsidies, as they say, around the neck of our poor independent state when our innocent young compatriots die in hot spots; - We are not interested, in neither money nor position, no prize, no titles, no medals. Also we don't need an apartment, no family and no other quite unnecessary things. We, i.e. valiant and brave mentally ill Motherland, can protect our territory from any invaders, including an extraterrestrial! And we think that at the front we will have much more fun than here, in a boring medical center, believe me, Mr. President. I never tire of repeating that we are very capable people and, it is only to teach us how to use firearms, how to operate anti-aircraft Missile systems, fighters and bombers and how to steal them, how to fly on military helicopters, "Shark", "Apache", to use nuclear submarines with cruise missiles of Intercontinental ballistic and so on, I can assure You and guarantee that our brethren of the disease will quickly learn that modern military science, no worse than mentally healthy talented students. They will be free to fly advanced supersonic jet bombers like hawks and bomb civilian points in the hot spots of the planet, flattening the beautiful city, the Orthodox and Catholic churches, mosques, synagogues, residential neighborhoods, factories, schools, hospitals, pharmacies, kindergartens in exactly, not leaving any living soul. Be sure that the army of schizophrenics and paranoids, using anti-Aircraft Missile Systems, will shoot down thousands of civilian airlines with hundreds of passengers on Board, getting into the top ten missiles, then in this monstrous crime to accuse the air force and air defense of the enemy!

With great respect, Commander-in-chief of the Air Force and Ground Forces General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

After reading the letter several times, along and across, the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic pondered, looking at the foggy look, in the armored bulletproof window of his ball-shaped Cabinet, like Hitler in his bunker. - Yaaaa, here is this letter! Unlike healthy people in the spiritual sense of the word, they did not write about their problems, on the contrary, they write about the urgent problems of our society and the strengthening of the defense capability of our multi-national country. Although this letter from the mental hospital, but still worth thinking about their initiatives. Moreover, they promise to protect the Fatherland for free. If we realize their dreams, then immediately decreases the financial costs of defense, the army, armament, provisions, clothing and boots without soles millions and millions of pairs for our soldiers and officers, which we allocate every year a huge amount of money from the state budget. And these schizophrenics are ready to engage in any part of the world, protecting the interests of our country, without military uniforms, barefoot. They don't have to pay a monthly paycheck. They promise to perform any task of the party, at any time of day, even on 45 degrees cold in the winter and 55 degrees hot in the desert. How much Seeley and the funds will be scan online! Why haven't we thought about this project before? These living robots have nothing to lose. Those suicide bombers are not afraid of death. And these are, so-called, soldiers and officers, at the first danger run up, or, lying in trenches, shoot themselves in their foot and the hero comes back home, ringing bunches of awards and medals on a breast. To be honest, I did not receive such a proposal even from my military specialists, experts who receive a monthly salary in a huge amount in dollars. Parasites! No good from them! I must confess that I used to laugh to tears listening to jokes about the mentally ill. I don't think I laughed then. On the contrary, it was necessary to cry and weep in a huge and holey checkered handkerchief. That's how they reason. Wow, such brilliant people languishing in a madhouse of our large country! And we have these brilliant men supposedly treat! I think people who consider themselves healthy, it's time to go to the doctors to psychiatrists and treated properly as not exacerbated their mental illness. Yes, these people with unstable mentality, people prone to violence are dangerous for society. But if you think about it, I'm a hundred percent sure that we can solve a lot of problems. We will hold their doctors, nurses and caregivers, are fully accountable by summoning them, along with our patients, into the army and sending them to the hot spots of the planet. Today, the world is establishing total control not only over the people and over the Media, over the opposition, but even over the tsunamis, typhoons, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, etc. are we worse than them? We also know how to establish control over patients, through their doctors in white coats, who have cutting - edge equipment, stun guns, soothing drugs, tranquilizers and durable straight shirts with long sleeves. Most importantly, we will automatically get rid of unnecessary pickets and rallies organized by human rights defenders ' screamers, grantees defending the rights of mothers of millions of dead soldiers who return home in sealed zinc coffins from the battlefield, where they die heroically defending the economic and geopolitical interests of our state. Mentally ill and dead on the battlefield, not pathetic, not one, on the contrary, it causes uncontrollable laughter and people will laugh heartily, seeing on TV or hearing about their ridiculous death in bloody battles. In short, I must submit this bill to the Parliament immediately. Let our so-called deputies of both chambers and Senate sycophants, to discuss this strategic issue in closed session without a free press. It is clear that these so-called deputies and senators will never vote against what I propose to them. I don't need to worry too much about it - the President of the country, Mr. Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, thought, Smoking a gold tube with diamond ornaments stuffed with expensive flavored tobacco.

The President of the country, Mr. Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, before submitting the draft to the Parliament, decided to first meet secretly with the authors of the secret letter and instructed his security forces to organize a secret conversation with the authors of the letter from the loony bin. Security forces clearly and accurately complied with the order of the President, and brought two geniuses in the striped pajamas, barefoot and bareheaded, and having dressed them in costumes of the officials in white shirts with starched collars and ties. They worked so jewelry that even assistants to the President of the country Mr. Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, seeing those two patients in civilian clothes, took them for high-ranking guests from abroad. During the conversation it turned out that these two are capable of, not what is there to solve the problems concerning the strengthening of defensibility of the country, but also to create completely unimaginable fantastic things, to come up with unique and unheard of ideas and hypotheses.

- Excuse me, gentlemen, and don't be surprised. It is the tears of happiness in my eyes tremble like a distant star in the cold December sky of our independent country, where our people drown their stove with dung. I want to ask your forgiveness, Lord, for our psychiatrists who correctly putting a diagnosis, put you in the psychiatric hospitals of our country, forced to drink the nasty liquid and pills. Tutors beat you like punching bags suspended in underground gyms. Please also apologize for our countrymen who were just cracking up and still laugh at you, telling each other funny jokes about you, laughing!, I today personally was convinced that you, so-called patients with a mental illness, in one thousand, and even millions times is smarter, than our deputies and officials-bribe takers! It turns out, we mistakenly locked genius people not only our country, but our planet in mental hospitals! I will issue a decree tomorrow to release all your brothers out of our independent country's mental hospitals due to illness and to lock the doctors, psychotherapists and caregivers in their place. I will order the authority to arrest all of my assistants, sycophants, poets and writers, officials, and deputies of Ministers takers and parasites. They do not do anything, but receive large salaries in us dollars, and the citizens of our country because of total unemployment go to other countries, hoping to find at least some work there. They agree even on dirty work, in order to find a piece of bread and feed their family. They work as janitors and guards, work in garbage dumps, almost for free. Everything, I will carry out personnel shift in all spheres of our society, that is I will appoint the chief assistants to the both of you, and also I will order that deputies of Parliament of both chambers and senators of the Congress appoint only those people who were earlier treated in mental hospitals of our long-suffering and the desert state. Governors of regions and districts, including chairmen of collective farms and villages, will also be appointed from brilliant people, that is, from your brothers for illness. All governors and presidents of the current system will now be treated for life and forced into psychiatric hospitals until they are fully recovered. Both of you can now accept the post of any Minister, and I congratulate you in advance, gentlemen! - The President said, concluding his speech.

General Thomas Yakkabaloon and Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar, in return, expressed his gratitude to President Appollon Gabriel Toledo, Puerto Carlos Dominic, for the warm welcome, mutual understanding and high trust. Before leaving, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar appealed To President Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic :

"I have a little surprise for you, Mr. President, close your eyes," he said.

The President closed his eyes with a smile on his lips.

President Appollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic opened his eyes and saw the key that Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar had given him.

At the sight of the key, the President's heart fluttered, and his eyes widened.

- No, thank you, Mr. Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar! What an honest man you are! Where did you find it? It was in the pocket of my pants!

With these words, President Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic quickly checked the pockets of his trousers and blushed in shame, finding a hole in his Trouser pocket where the key to the carpet might have fallen.

- I found this key here, under this chair, where I was sitting. I think, I will select it and I will give to Mister the President of our country Apollon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, maybe, I think, the President incidentally lost the key of the modest Studio apartment located on the suburb of the capital of the country where he lives with the big family plus with mother in law - the Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar - explained.

- Oh, no, no, Colonel Pascal Salvatore Alfons de Valdemar! It's not the key to a one-room apartment; it's the key to a nuclear suitcase! You have no idea what heroism you have committed before my eyes in the face of our long-suffering people! You saved the nation! Well, this key does not fall into the hands of my insane Ministers, which I have long not trusted. After all, these parasites corrupt, could easily sell terrorists this priceless key for a pack of green bills! And there would be a third world nuclear war! Not, in my opinion you saved not only the nation, but all mankind from the apparent death, from the third nuclear war! I was awarded the Order of Hero of the Fatherland of the first degree! You are now the national hero of our country! With today's military title not Colonel, and Marshal! Thank you on behalf of our oppressed people and on behalf of all mankind, Mr. Marshal Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar! - The President said with delight.

- Serving the Fatherland! - Cried Pascal Salvatore Alphonse de Valdemar, saluting President Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic. When both officers of high rank came from the Palace of the President of Appalon Gabriel Toledo Puerto Carlos Dominic, General Thomas Yakkabaloon congratulated with a high military rank of his colleague and brother due to illness.

- I congratulate you, Mr. Marshal, with high status as! - He said, proudly and greening with envy.

- At ease, General, at ease! Thank you for the congratulations - said the Marshal, Pascal Salvatore Alphonse de Valdemar, slapping on the shoulder and the head of General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

General Thomas Yakkabaloon continued:

- Excuse me, Mr. Marshal, on one hand; to achieve such success is good. But on the other hand, I'm afraid you and I have missed a historic opportunity. If we could hold the key to a nuclear suitcase, we could force the President to dissolve the Government and Parliament and to step down as President. After all this, you would sleep well tonight, and Wake up in the morning the President of the country! Eh, what a chance missed, my God! - Said General Thomas Yakkabaloon.

- Yeah, don't you worry, General rag shoulder straps, I'm not such a fool as you think! When I went to the bathroom, I took off the key of the nuclear suitcase, pushing it on this piece of soap. Now for this mold, we can make a duplicate key nuclear suitcase. As they say, not yet evening. There is still time for me to become the President of the country, and to you - the Minister of Defense! The weight of the world is in our hands! - said Marshal Pascal Salvatore Alfons DE Valdemar with insidious and cunning smirk on his lips.