This partial manuscript copy is provided as a
courtesy. Anyone who wishes a copy may access it from
http://sacredvow.dragonsbeard.com; therefore
we ask that no copies, physical or electronic, be given or lent. Any
offering of this portion of the manuscript for sale is expressly
prohibited.

No longer confined to material experience,
Katerina crossed into the dimly lit room, invisible to its inhabitants.
She had never visited this world before, never laid eyes on this person,
yet Katerina’s bond to the lean, gray-haired man seated at the wooden
table was so intense and immediate that she barely managed to suppress
the impulse to reach out and embrace him.

He
rested a forearm on either side of the tattered book at which he stared,
completely absorbed. In a few moments, he began to read aloud to
himself, in a gentle voice.

“So long
have we been sharing our experience, our becoming, that it no longer
makes sense to imagine such a thing as either of us wholly divisible
from the other . . . if it ever did make sense.”

Slowly
he sat upright, eyes staring in Katerina’s direction, though completely
unaware of her, staring through her formless presence and beyond
her. A smile spread over his weathered face. Mesmerized, Katerina
watched the man’s bright eyes as he began to move his head to the left.
The moment his attention came to rest, an undeniable serenity radiated
from his face, drawing Katerina to turn and seek out its inspiration.

He was
looking into the face of a woman sitting in a large, upholstered chair,
motionless, silent, and eyes closed. Upon first recognition of that
face, Katerina’s intimacy with it involuntarily pulled her nearer. It
was her own face on which Katerina was gazing, many years older, but
indisputably her face. Katerina wanted to linger and rest her
spirit, weary from all the traveling today, to just take in the
simplicity of their life together in this place. But she knew that would
be unwise.

Though
only an observer, Katerina felt herself beginning to fuse into this
life, making it her own. And this reality was progressively laying claim
to her. Synthesis into the visited environment was a known problem with
this manner of searching. She had been cautioned against becoming too
tired and being seduced into idling.

She took
one last look at her partner in this alternate life—at the partner of
this parallel self. Katerina forced herself to continue the search
elsewhere. This man was surely a manifestation of the one she sought,
but this was not “him.”

Then she
released her hold on this life. The tangibility of another facet of
reality dissolved around her, as it had so many times before that day.

When
letting go of a visited life, Katerina often had a sense of rapid
movement—somewhat unnerving. It was similar to the dream sensation of
falling when on the brink of sleep. Except this movement went in all
directions simultaneously, including inward.

As
Katerina removed herself from this life of hers, she retained traces of
it. Though she had visited the place for only moments, that reality had
been thoroughly integrated into Katerina’s definition of self, her
emotions, and her mind. The same thing had happened with each parallel
life that she had visited today. The resulting assimilation of parallel
self-definitions was proving to be the hardest part of this task.Katerina could feel something similar to layers of simultaneous
lifetime awarenesses building within her consciousness.With each new layer, Katerina’s definition-of-self expanded, but
primary identity receded a little. The more the tether to her prime
personality weakened, the more dangerous the next visit became.

These
dangers to the visitant were why this ritual was so rarely performed.
Only by forcing acknowledgment of her own exceptional skills had
Katerina been able to persuade The Nine to consent to, and assist in,
her searches. With each passing in and out of these parallel lives,
Katerina became progressively more understanding of the Crones’
concerns.

Good
fortune and bad awaited Katerina at the next location she tried to
visit. For whatever reason, she was blocked from entering the
environment. This meant the spirit of the very person she had come to
visit denied her access—so she had been taught. The barrier was good
because of the respite it afforded her, even momentarily. It was bad
because this failed attempt was an opportunity lost and she had no time
to waste. Katerina could feel her subconscious becoming overwhelmed. She
would have to abandon the search very soon.

As
though she had been slammed into a wall, Katerina rebounded. With no
time to prepare, she entered into another parallel life. The quickness
of the transfer had a severe impact on her already depleted energies.

Hazy
images began to take form before her eyes. As in every other visit
today, what Katerina saw and felt was as real to her as the life in the
world of her physical form. These people, her lives in parallel
realities, always existed right before her eyes. They were as real as
any member of her order that she interacted with day in and day out. In
this process, Katerina merely opened her awareness to the otherwise
unacknowledged doorway between the infinite realities.

Memories
that were hidden from her a moment before—memories belonging exclusively
to this parallel life—began to introduce themselves into her
consciousness. A flood of previously inaccessible senses, personal to
this life, began to send their messages to her brain. Emotions without
history for the traveling Katerina of a moment before began to structure
in her mind the network of associations that gave them consequence. It
was becoming almost impossible to fully open herself to yet another
mind, another life, and still retain her distinction from them.

“Maintain the focus,” she reminded herself. “Where is the Union?”

Psychically, she searched the structure in which she stood for evidence
of his presence. She knew he had been in this room only a moment before.
Scanning one room after another with her mind, her senses met him
returning up the stairs from a lower floor.

Perceptive of subtle energies, he stopped, and turned his head as if
trying to catch the sound or sight that had fleetingly stirred his
attention. Though her presence was centered in another room, Katerina
held her mental focus on him, just outside of his perception. There was
something very special about this one, and she took time to enjoy that
uniqueness.

But he
is not the Union, her mind cried out.

“Suen?”
he called.

“What is
it, Yeetar?” his partner replied from a room at the back of the top
floor.

Yeetar
looked around, curious. It was obvious that he had perceived an
unfamiliar intrusion into his world. He seemed to be reaching out with
something more than his five senses, trying to locate her. So Katerina
cautiously began to withdraw her presence.

Significant, she thought. But, still not the Union.

Katerina
heard Yeetar reply, uncertainly, “Nothing, Suen,” as the last of
Katerina’s foreign essence departed from his world.

Katerina
knew she could not attempt another visit. Her need to return to the
Motherworld was too great. As soon as she pulled herself back into the
mortal form that was her own, every member of The Nine instantaneously
received her request for termination of the rite. The gurgling song of
streams that surrounded the circle of Crones aided her return.

Though
Katerina felt her spirit fully identify with the body of her home
reality, her mind was overwhelmed with the competing identities she had
integrated into her awareness during the searches. Still in the seated
meditation posture, Katerina slumped forward, reaching her hands to the
ground for reconnection, pressing her palms to the soft, living moss
that covered the ground below her. Her breathing was deep and slow. With
each inhalation, the scent of the evergreen forest strengthened her
connection to this place, her primary home.

Surges
of energy began to run through her muscles, making them twitch. Katerina
strove to suppress these involuntary movements. Undoubtedly, out of need
for its own survival, Katerina’s conscious mind was feverishly sweeping
through the queue of her recent experiences and vanquishing all
contending identities to the subdued recesses of her subconscious.

Katerina
had no way of telling how long the hand had been on her shoulder. Still
unable to withdraw her concentration from the processes of recovery, she
wasn’t yet able to perceive whose hand it was. A minute later, unaware
of who stood above her, Katerina began to realize that sympathetic
energy flowed into her through the supportive hand, assisting Katerina
in her efforts to integrate.

She had
not wanted anyone to know how much impact the ceremony had had on her.
She had been bold in her claims of being able to handle the process.

“You
have done well, dear heart, and we are glad you are back with us.”

Katerina
knew the voice. Head hanging down, eyes still closed, her sensory
perception becoming exclusive to the world of her body, she replied, “I
could not find him, Holiness. So many manifestations of him, but none of
them were the Union.”

“That is
both auspicious and unfortunate. With so many connections, the bond
between you and him is exceptionally strong. It does, however,
complicate finding the appropriate manifestation when seeking him
without some assistance on his part.

“You
have been remarkable in your effort, Katerina. No one would have asked
so much of you. Care for yourself now, my child. This is a demanding
task that you have undertaken.”

“I am
certain something is not as we expect this time,” Katerina said.

“We may
not understand why things are proceeding as they are, Katerina, but the
Collective Consciousness cannot be wrong. We must carry out our practice
as it has been handed down to us. The method has always served the need,
and will again . . . in its own time.”

“Yes,
Mother. But when I received the visions, it seemed he was not within an
order. Is it possible?”

“The
images you saw must be coincidental, not indicative of his full person,
Katerina.”

“How can
he refrain from replying?” Katerina asked, finally regaining enough
strength to rise to her feet, though slowly. “Perhaps he cannot, or does
not understand the Call.”

The old
Matriarch wrapped an arm around Katerina’s back and helped the younger
woman to steady her wobbly legs. Katerina looked into the concerned,
almost teary eyes of her superior and said, “I truly feel that something
is unique to this occurrence of the rift.”

“I know
you do, and I respect that belief. But you must accept that no matter
the situation, it is perfection, as it has always been.”

A tear
rolled down the wrinkled cheek before the elder continued.

“I would
not have had you suffer this burden, Katerina, if I had such power to
decide. And I must accept that this charge is yours to bear, in your own
way.”

Despite
the Matriarch’s compassionate tone, Katerina took her words as a
reprimand. “I will not fail my duties. Until I find the Union, I will
search without cease.”

Rubbing Katerina’s
back, the old woman said, “You have always surpassed your duties, dear
girl, and are doing so now. You will not fail, cannot fail. It is we who
must not fail you.”