idk if this is in the right board or whatever but i'm just so fucking sad and so are all of my friends and some of them smoke weed/cigarettes and drink and i've asked them to "hook me up" i guess and i'm just scared because im so impulsive and i mostly dgaf right now. idk really why im posting this i kinda just wanna talk to someone

At one point I felt the same as you, I had rampant out of control depression and anxiety issues, my life was in shambles (even if people outside had no idea) and it was horrible. Smoking and drinking did not help my problems. I am so terrified that it'll put me at higher risk of cancer and stuff because I decided to be stupid at 18.

If you're struggling with feelings of sadness, I would like to encourage you to learn about depression and consider counselling and developing coping mechanisms that don't include unhealthy alternatives like substance use.