Five More Weeks.

Just like that, I’m at week 35 of this pregnancy. I’ve got 5 weeks to go and I’m not sure if I should be relieved or start throwing my arms in the air and shrieking a little. Maybe a bit of both.

Part of me just wants to give birth like NOW. I’m at the point of the pregnancy where I have difficulty doing simple tasks like taking off my pants or trimming my toenails. Just the other day, I was attempting to walk briskly when the husband leaned in real close and whispered “I need to tell you something, babe…you’re starting to waddle.” And then I punched him in the stomach. Ok, not really. It was more of a friendly jab to the abdominal region.

But with the reality of the impending birth setting in, I’m starting to remember the TRAUMA that is childbirth. Oh, you know, the whole having to push a human out of my vagina thing.

Apparently, mothers have this ability to block out the trauma after giving birth, which is why they can have another kid 6 months after a major screamfest in the hospital. What they don’t tell you is that while you’re able to block out the trauma when you’re having fun making the baby, it all comes flooding back when you’re about to deliver the baby.

Which is um, right about now.

And that brings me to my list of 3 most terrifying things about childbirth. If you’re planning to make a baby anytime soon, I’d recommend that you go see some pictures of cute babies first and come back a few months later when it’s too late and there’s no escaping the process.

1. Cervix check

To fully understand why this is such a nightmare, you have to know where the cervix is. I’d show you pictures but this is a wholesome family blog so you’ll just have to trust me when I say that it’s located in a place that shouldn’t be checked with bare hands. In order to reach the cervix to check it, the nurse has to put her hand and jab around somewhere you really don’t want her to. And yes, it’s every bit as painful as it sounds.

2. Episiotomy

This process involves a scalpel (or scissors) and your lady bits. Those are 2 objects that shouldn’t be near each other but this is the kind of thing that happens in the wonderful world of childbirth. Especially for VBAC cases, the doctor has to make an incision so the baby’s head doesn’t get stuck and cause a wound rupture. How very fun and exciting.

3. Labor Pain

For better or worse, the pain of labor trumps any other sort of pain you feel at childbirth. The husband was standing by witnessing the episiotomy in horror but I had no idea that it was happening because the pain of labor was all I could think of. It’s like when you get shot in the leg, it really doesn’t matter that you also just stubbed your toe, which I guess is a good thing in a bizarre sort of way.

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36 Comments

You just pointed all the 3 things I am most scared of if I have to deliver naturally this September. I never experienced those just yet but am aware of those already… However, c-section sounds pretty scary too. Sometimes I just don’t want to think about childbirth any more.

Haha I’d try to console you and say it’s not so bad but it’s pretty traumatic. The only good thing is that it’s quite short (relatively) and it’ll be over before you know it, plus you get to bring home a beautiful baby after all that trouble.

So true about the cervix check! I hated it everytime I got one. You would think after pushing a human through it that we’ll be used to it. Omg no. I still hate pap smears.Madeline´s last post ..Revisit the Past, Shoot for the Future

ooh….I rather have normal childbirth than C-section.
It was more easier…with c-section, the pain just doesn’t go off till a week later. Went through twice for c-section for 2nd and 3rd child. Now feeling slightly regretful why I chose c-section instead of normal delivery for 3rd one. The 4th have to be another c-section if I decide to have another in the near future.Ally´s last post ..Parent Teacher Conference

I find your blog very entertaining after discovered it from another mommy’s blog. I’ve spent most of my free time reading your archives and it’s sad to know that I’ve finished most of it and am already up till your most recent posting. I’ve nothing to look forward to tomorrow and have to browse for other interesting blogs to past time =) Anyway, keep it up and I look forward to reading your new post the next day.

On another note, I salute you on being a SAHM of 2.5 at such young age. :)

All the best in 5 weeks’ time! All these discussion are freaking me out about the prospect of no 2. The first one was a c-section which was so easy for me I was up and walking all alone within less than 12 hours, to the horror of the nurses. I don’t much like the thought of getting cut up again if it can be avoided though.Elaine´s last post ..Thalassaemia

I actually knew about #2 but because I was trying a VBAC and Kirsten’s head was a little stuck, my gynae strongly recommended it to prevent a wound rupture. At that point, I just wanted the baby out ASAP so I basically did what I was told.

As for #1, I begged the nurse to not do it multiple times but she just glared at me and said it’s part of the procedure.

Can’t believe you only have 5 weeks left to go! I know you’re going to roll your eyes at me when i say this but I actually enjoy the giving birth part. I managed to avoid #1 and #2 by having a birth plan and an amazing doctor. Had an epidural for no.1 who turned out to be my smallest baby, decided to go without any pain relief for no.2 and 3.
My biggest and last baby was 3.75kg, and my lady bits managed to remain intact. That was my biggest fear, TEARING! While most parents are concern if their babies have 10 fingers and toes, i just wanted to know if everything was intact.
All the best for a smooth delivery!

Totally agree about the cervix check and the pain, though with baby #2 I have to say that labour pains were surprisingly manageable, and it was just the pushing that really hurt (though even then it was over in literally 2 pushes… apparently my body learnt something from delivering baby #1?!) As for the episiotomy, which I had with baby #1 (who was getting distressed and had to be delivered with some quick pushing and not enough time to allow natural stretching) I was actually really grateful for it in retrospect – didn’t feel it at all due to local anaesthetic, it healed perfectly, and didn’t re-tear during my second delivery. Ladies, do not fear episiotomies, and as for natural deliveries – definitely not pain-free but be reassured that the pain IS manageable and DOES end :)

For both births I didn’t have a episiotomy and both are were over 3kg. Told my gyne to cut only if necessary. For both kids an episiotomy wasn’t necessary, I just had lil tears here and my gyne stitched a stitch here and there and you know it was less painful and it healed really quickly and well. It’s an option….

I loved being pregnant, I didn’t mind the giving birth bit and I never wanna go through the first month ever again.Marie´s last post ..Amen

Hey Daphne! Wow time flies! 5 weeks! Here’s wishing you lots of luck and have a wonderful, smooth and save delivery of BB finn ok? Can’t wait to see how he looks like! =) And oh, it’s so ok to be fat during pregnancy. I always tell myself that. Lol, no matter what the docs say. If bacon makes you happy, go ahead! I lovvveee bacon!