Sunday, January 2, 2011

After a whole lot of deliberation, my word for 2011 is FLOW. In 2010, I had a whole lot of speed bumps. And despite the speed bumps, I showed my photography at 3 local venues, entered several photography contests, developed an online Artist Empowerment Class and taught it twice. I also began on a path that was shown to me throughout this year.

There will be a lot of changes coming soon. One being switching this blog over to wordpress. I will make sure there are plenty of ways for you to find me though, and I do hope you'll stick with me through it!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Today is my 39th birthday and it's been a roller coaster of a year. I've stretched my wings and learned so many things about myself. I've even come so much closer to my true north and my calling in life.

My 38th year was filled with grief, but that was countered with so much growth. 2010 had it's definite ups and downs. And through it all I learned and grew.

My birthday wishes are for all of us.

I wish us peace this year.

I wish for love and happiness and growth.

I wish that we can hold our tongue and be kind in the face of attack.

And that we all have a strong support system for the difficult times.

I wish for the courage to reach out both TO help others and FOR help at every turn.

I wish for the spirit of giving to grow in us all.

I wish for the wisdom to look back on our trials with gratitude.

And also the wisdom to love everyone in our lives.

I wish for us all to be accepting of others regardless of their differences.

I wish for this year to be the best one yet, and for the years to only make us better.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Isn't it funny how life changes your vision? This is how it works with me, anyway... I get a vision of what it is I want to do. It's a broad spectrum at first. Then, as I pay attention to the signs, it gets focused in.

I have been planning, getting my ducks in a row. And the focus has been becoming clearer and clearer to me that phase 1 of my plans absolutely must help people with grieving. So off I go.

Phase 1 of my 2011 plan will help people with their grieving process, and it will be unveiled by February. Phases 2- infinity will be carried out afterwards.

2010 taught me more about grieving than anything else. I've seen all the ways people grieve. I've seen grief empower people. I've seen it destroy them. I've seen people drown in it, with no-one reaching out to help them. That just isn't acceptable to me. Grief weakens a person. It can destroy their foundation. I want to give them tools to build that foundation back up. To help them trudge through the muck and come out the other side stronger than before. In 2011, that is what I will do. I will help them to not only survive their grief, but learn from it.

I sound awfully sure, don't I? I am. Not cocky... just extremely familiar with grief AND in my ability to help. I've been paying attention.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

As 2010 starts winding down, I'm led to take inventory. I do this periodically throughout the year. Often in the Spring, always in the Fall, and at New Year's. I look back to see where I've been, and I look forward to see where I need to be. Then the planning begins. I do a lot of planning.

Sunday, I had a 12 hour road trip. That is a LOT of thinking time. And I recalled an episode of the Big Bang Theory in which the boys created a liquid that also acted as a solid. It was simply cornstarch and water. But it flowed. And when it wasn't flowing, it was solid. And I realized that I need to be *that*. I need to be solid. But I need to readily flow.

So... with flow in mind... I'm questioning the path I've set into motion. I'm wondering now if I've been true to myself. I think I have... but I'm wondering if I've allowed for the flow...

This week, because of my inventory taking, I believe, it will all become clear.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone! I'm feeling a bit sad this morning, thinking of family member's we have lost. But also thankful for the time that I had with them. This photo was taken by my Dad, who loved the sunrise and sunset. I ache to call him today and tell him Merry Christmas. I do know, however, that he is in my heart, and that he is alwsys with me. So, Merry Christmas, Dad.

I hope that your day is all that you had hoped it would be! What special traditions do you have? How do you honour those you love?

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Looking back, 2010 was an extremely tough year. I lost my father in February, my stepmom in March, and my sister in law in September. Through my grief I blogged, though sometimes intermittently. I learned to lean on those around me, and was completely supported by love extended to me.

My father's funeral was such a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. My ex husband and his girlfriend drove about 1800 miles EACH way to take my sons to their grandfather's funeral. I still am amazingly thankful for that and my heart swells just thinking about it.

I struggled to find my self without Dad. I still am struggling with that. But I've settled in, and know that my daily life includes honouring Dad. I strive to do my best. I push myself. I remember self-care and staying away from crazymakers.

But 2010 wasn't totally about all the lessons I learned through grief. It was about finding my true north. It was about stretching my wings and FLYING. In fact, in 2010, I learned to soar... and I'm pretty sure that 2011 will be about stretching my wings even more. After all, I have Dad and my amazing tribe to guide me along the way. How could I go wrong?