Taylor Swift: ‘Blank Space’ Music Video Review

Crossing Taylor Swift is never, ever, ever a good idea. You’ll end up in a song, you’ll end up in her diary, and if thevideofor “Blank Space” is any indicator, you’ll end up completely destroyed.

Swift’s camp has released the music video for her new single, “Blank Space,” a day early thanks to an accidental leak from Yahoo. I’m sure the poor soul who was responsible for this will be featured on her next album now, thanks to this stunt. But let’s get to the video, shall we?

Taylor is living in a gorgeous mansion, kept company by her kitten and some unicorns. No big deal. Dressed in flapper lingerie on her bed, she seems to be waiting for someone—and he makes his entrance well. A very attractive man waltzes to the door after parking his tricked out car.

Taylor offers him her hand, while crooning “Love’s a game / wanna play?” like he’s gonna say no. They never do, do they? And so begins a whirlwind romance, playing house in the big mansion. They dine from across a huge table, ride bicycles in the house, and take a few Dobermans for a walk while dressed to the nines… you know, very normal couple behavior.

As their relationship blooms, their activities continue to be outlandish. Taylor frolicking in slow motion, waiting for her man to catch her. Taylor painting a very accurate portrait of her new beau. Taylor carving their names into a big tree while a majestic horse stands by. It’s all magical and wonderful and then, of course, she gets a little unhinged.

In her new boyfriend’s first moment of weakness, Taylor catches him texting (gasp) another girl! The fury in her eyes is wild, and you know she’s just dreaming up a thousand ways to plot her revenge. The crazy is on full display for the rest of the video, when Taylor starts screaming and pantomiming with her male lead.

We see our doomed, hopeless romantic dressed in a leopard-print dress and heels, crying her eyes out while a small doe keeps watch. Her makeup is running, she looks absolutely bananas, and that is the whole point of this song and this video.

The hijinks continue with Taylor dropping her boy toy’s phone into the fountain (oops!), slashing her beloved painting she worked so hard on, burning her boyfriend’s clothing and ripping his shirts to shreds with a funny nod toMean Girls.

The best part of this whole saga is when Taylor hits the bridge, intensely singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture / Don’t say I didn’t, say I didn’t warn ya.” She looks amazing, holding this poisonous apple like she rules the whole world. There’s a freaky scene that reminds me of voodoo dolls. She clutches the apple; her man clutches his head like he’s possessed. It’s fascinating and really fun to watch. He takes a bite of that terrible apple and all hell breaks loose.

In the end, Taylor takes her destruction to new heights. She’s wailing on his car with a golf club while wearing an outfit not appropriate for such mayhem. While sitting in bed, she stabs a cake and it bleeds. Taylor finishes her song alternating between standing on a horse (which is an impressive feat), doing insane dance moves while nearly ripping her hair out, and straddling her boyfriend while he remains absolutely terrified of her. There’s a moment where she bites his lip slowly and it is so disturbing to watch.

Taylor clearly had a ton of fun with this video, and it shows. This song from her album,1989, is a clear mockery of what the media thinks of her and the revolving door of men she’s dated. Taylor may not be this insane in real life, but she plays the part quite well.