9 Times Apple and Google Made Fun of Each Other

New Nexus phones are coming to rival the iPhones, but this is a rivalry with a rich, piss-taking history.

By
Joe Svetlik

Oct 5, 2015

Apple

Apple and Google used to have brilliantly different approaches to the world of personal tech: one private and expensive, one open and cheap. But as Apple has focused on software and Google's products got more pricey, the two have increasingly met in the middle. And when that happens, we all know the result: fight!

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It's fair to say that there's no love lost between the two biggest names in tech. In fact, they seem to actively hate each other, and the firms aren't shy about showing it either. Amid many legal wranglings and suggestions of features being "borrowed", here are the most public ways each has tried to capitalize on the other's shortcomings.

1. Google loses it with Apple Maps?

The Apple Maps farce was a dark time for the Cupertino company. And, like a schoolyard bully spotting a kid with split trousers, Google was quick to capitalise.

Back when it owned Motorola, the big-G ran an advert for the Droid Razr M handset showing it side by side with an iPhone. Now, this wasn't a friendly comparison. On the Droid's screen was a detailed map of a street in Manhattan, while the same area appeared as a barren desert on Apple Maps on the iPhone. As if that wasn't clear enough, it also used the hashtag #iLost. Subtle, guys.

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2. Apple chief stares down 'Glass-holes'

Google Glass is a potentially revolutionary device, serving up all manner of information directly into the viewer's eyesight making for a more connected, handsfree experience. Unless you're Phil Schiller, or anyone within earshot of the Apple man that is, in which case it's a monstrosity.

"[I] can't believe they think anyone (normal) will ever wear these things," he said in an email that went public. "It reminds me of the push to market video goggles a few years back." Apple's own wearable, the Apple Watch, has been similarly derided by its detractors, but Schil's been quiet on this front.

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3. Siri joins the war on Google's wearable

Apple hasn't limited its Glass-bashing to its top-level execs, the company's got its digital PA, Siri, in on the act too. Say "Okay Glass" to Siri, and it'll put the boot into Google's ill-fated headgear.

Its responses include: "Very funny. I mean, not funny 'ha-ha', but funny." "I'm not Glass. And I'm just fine with that." "Stop trying to strap me to your forehead. It won't work." And: "Just so you know, I don't do anything when you blink at me."

4. iPhone 5's Antennagate goes awry

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It's no secret that Apple didn't handle the aftermath of "antennagate" – the issue that caused the iPhone 4 to drop its signal when held a certain way – particularly well. As well as telling people "don't hold it that way", Steve Jobs was quick to point out that other phones have the same issue, most notably Motorola's offerings.

But in his biography by Walter Isaacson, Jobs went a step further branding antennagate a "smear campaign" by Google and Motorola. Not catty enough for you? Apple's maverick leader also branded Android a "stolen product" and threatened to "go thermonuclear" over the issue. Paranoid, much?

5. Apple slates the Nexus 7

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We thought Apple was above this, but oh how we were wrong. When unveiling the original iPad Mini back in 2012, Apple's Phil Schiller didn't just showcase the company's new sub-sized slate, he used the opportunity to bash the Google-made competition - big time.

Spending an inordinate amount of time slating Google's slate, he criticised the build quality, smaller screen, and low-quality apps of the Nexus 7. One thing he didn't mention was the price, possibly because it cost a lot less than Apple's tablet - hmm.

6. When Google ribbed Jony

Poor Jony Ive. He's done more for gadget design than anyone else in the modern world, and how is he rewarded? With a soundboard, and relentless ribbing. Like this advert from Google and Nestle, made shortly after the two announced they were getting into bed for Android 4.4. KitKat.

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"Every finger of every bar has been carefully considered and crafted to create a beautifully immersive and multi sensory experience," the distinctly Ive-like character says, talking about a humble chocolate bar. Because of course, you'd never get Google blowing its own trumpet.

7. iOS vs Android becomes a pot-shot party

Last summer, at its annual I/O conference, Google took a potshot at iOS 8. After bigging up its own endeavours, Google's Sundar Pichai slammed "some of the announcements from others."

Naming no names, he said, "things like custom keyboards, widgets – those things happened in Android four to five years ago." Apple had recently announced iOS 8, which brought – you guessed it – widgets and customisable keyboards. Let's not forget, Android has copied plenty of Apple features, like Apple Pay and pinch to zoom, to name just two. Someone tell Google about the perils of glass houses and stone throwing.

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8. Apple pooh-poohs Android adoption

Another launch event, another not-so-sly dig at the competition. Taking the stage at the iPad Air 2 launch, Apple's wannabe comedian Craig Federighi pulled up a graph showing adoption rates of iOS versus Android. The graph showed 94% of iOS users were using a version released in the last year. "The situation with other platforms is a little different," he said, practically winking at the camera.

Of course Android is a more fragmented operating system. That's because it runs on more than five devices, and manufacturers are free to customise it how they want. Still Apple loves any opportunity to bring it up.

9. Google chief slams Apple Music's 'elitism'

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Instead of relying on an algorithm to pick songs you might like, Apple's latest music service has handpicked DJs like Zane Lowe to curate the track lists. Sounds like a good idea, right? Well, not according to Eric Schmidt. According to the Google bigwig, this is elitist and old-fashioned behaviour.

Not only that, the former CEO has publicly shamed Apple's efforts, claiming that machine learning – of the kind used extensively by Google, naturally – is "much more democratic", as it involves all of our opinions instead of the "individual preferences of a select few". In other words, it's Google's way or the highway.

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