But Getting There!

The Desire of My Heart

“Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

Not sure if I have used this verse in the past or not but man does it speak volumes. I am about to get quite personal so gentlemen readers be cautious with proceeding down this path.

For about a year now I had been having many symptoms of menopause and decided to go speak with my doctor about it. I was half relieved, if I was in fact starting the change, only because it meant other things less desirable would stop but also pretty sad because it put a definite “NO” in the idea of my lovebug and I ever having any more children.

Side Note: having four girls in our household has proved to be very estrogen/drama filled, despite that we love them very much just really did not want to risk having a fifth girl…anyone with all girls knows what I mean; so I had an IUD to prevent pregnancy until we were sure what we wanted to do, one way or the other.

After speaking with my doctor, she informed me that I would need to be off of my IUD for at least three months in order to be tested for menopause. I consulted the expert, my husband, to see what he thought about us not being protected.

Another Side Note: my husband is incredibly smart, I trust everything he has ever told me, respect his advice and would never make a decision like this without his go ahead.

Knowing what I was going through, he said, “go ahead and do as the doctor recommended.” I replied, “what happens if we get pregnant?” To which he countered, “well I will do what I do best and we will see what God does with that.”

GENIUS!

So I started praying.

I had a conversation with the Lord about the fact that I only had three months to figure all of this out and whatever He did with that I would be happy about it but that the desire of my heart is to have a little boy. Month one went by, nothing. Month two went by, nothing. Month three came and nearly passed so I resolved to the fact that David and I must have been done with the baby department. Low and behold sickness set in, letting me know I was not in control with that decision.

I am starting my second trimester and although I have been sicker with this pregnancy than with any of my other ones, I could not be more thrilled.

Last Side Note, I Promise: my overwhelming sickness is why I have not blogged in several months but today was a good day and I just needed to take a moment to document how faithful God is with the desires of our hearts.