This book is a wonderfully written
explanation of challenging children. Written by Linda S.
Budd Ph.D., it delves into not only the behavior, but the
parenting style and the impact these children have on
their surroundings. Join me in this summary of her book.
The italicised words were written by the author.

The eleven
traits of an Active-Alert Child:

Active

Alert

Bright

Controlling

Fearful

Intense

Attention-hungry

Trouble getting
along with others

Fluctuating
self-esteem

Performers

Empathic
ability

"My
first message to you then is: You didn't create
this temperament. Your child was born with
it." And that is the simple message that
begins a terrific book on temperament-based
parenting and the best way to elicit a better
response from your active-alert child. I had been
so caught up in parenting, that when I read this
book, it touched me. Describing both of my
children, but more so the older of the two, it
really struck home. The style of writing, the
effortless conversational prose, the real life
excerpts were effective in showing me where I was
missing a few key ingredients. Read along with me
for a few highlights and you will no doubt want
to get the book and read the entire thing again
and again! I have left out most of the anecdotal
support and concentrated this summary as an
outline. The book is filled with some essential
and effective pictures of specific family
situations and you really must read it to get the
full impact.

ACTIVE-

' being
active is not to be confused with hyperactive.' I
think at one time or another, all of us have used
the word 'hyper' to describe our children, but it
is a medical term and really should be used for a
medical diagnosis. This will assure that the
correct assessment occurs and that people do not
misinterpret what you describe. Movement alone
does not make a child hyperactive but rather, the
author states, ' movement is your child's
learning tool. Think about this in relation to a
"fussy baby." If you learned best
through movement, but you could not yet crawl or
walk, wouldn't you be "fussy" or
colicky too?'

Again, with
simple language, she summed up my children's
screams by their ever growing need to be shown
EVERYTHING, however because they couldn't get
anywhere themselves, they would YELL!

Wonderful
ideas constantly burst forth from these children!
It is truly incredible to observe the
"idle" hours of the active alert. The
amount of artwork they produce in a day, the
number of block buildings they create in an
afternoon, boggles the mind.

Given
this high level of activity, it can lead parents
to believe that their kids will just conk out
from exhaustion. But the reverse is actually true
- the activity will grow exponentially to a point
of frenzy and since the child is ill equipped to
calm themselves, they can and do stay up very
late at night. Bedtime routine and calming
focused activities will help your child relax and
approach sleep better.

ALERT

'Alertness
has 4 components, each with its own distinct
advantages and disadvantages.'

1)Alert
children are keen observers

Advantage:
they notice things that others don't.

Disadvantage:
they may notice things that hurt them, but
fearing that they will miss something, they do
not turn away.

2)Alert
children have no boundaries for self.

Advantage:
they explore everything

Disadvantage:
they become overstimulated or take in information
they aren't ready to understand

3)Alert
children have no boundaries for others

Advantage:
they get what they want more often when they
intrude or violate other people's space

Disadvantage:
they may not make friends easily. They anger
people whose space they violate.

4)Alert
children have no sense of boundaries in the form
of rules for appropriate behavior

Advantage:
their keen observational and advanced language
abilities help them to detect inconsistently
applied rules

Disadvantage:
their lack of knowledge about boundaries makes it
difficult for them to determine whether they
should or should not try to get their own way

Parenting Strategies for
the Alert Child

1)Observe
your keen observer ( If you are not ready to
explain, be careful of exposure.)

2)Remember
your child's lack of boundaries for self

3)Teach
your child about other people's boundaries

4)Establish
rules as boundaries

BRIGHT-

Active
alert children are bright. Most of them test into
their schools' gifted programs. Many come to see
me with high IQ and aptitude scores in hand. Yet
active alert children are different from
traditionally gifted children. Some gifted
programs may actually overstimulate them and
raise competition anxiety within them. Active
alert children learn differently

Parenting Strategies for
the Bright Child-

1)Learn
how your child learns and How to facilitate that
learning

2)Accept
your child and advocate for him/her

CONTROLLING-

Active
alert children have a high need for control. They
are highly verbal and often use those skills to
their advantage.

Parenting Strategies for
the Controlling child-

1)Recognizing
and respecting boundaries

2)Consistency

3)Build
structure or routines

4)Determine
who's in charge

5)Set
priorities

FEARFUL-

Active
alerts are unable to make transitions and are
often fearful in new situations. It's easy to see
why. New situations mean new stimuli. To the
active alert child, confronting such an onslaught
of new stimuli means uncertainty about how much
control he/she will have in his/her new
environment with new adults and peers. The
observant active alert always fears that he won't
be accepted and won't belong in this new place.

Parenting Strategies for
the Fearful child-

1)Prepare
your child for change

2)Accept
your child's fears

3)Be
careful not to push

INTENSE-

Your
child is intensely active, intensely alert,
intensely controlling and intensely
fearful life is black and white, happy and
sad, for the active alert child. There are no
gray areas Active alerts also perceive
themselves as smart or dumb- never average.
Extreme in their expectations of themselves, they
do not readily accept their own mistakes.