Mom Approved: Elegantly Shabby In Jeans & Pearls

For several straight days recently my mom was in one ornery mood. I gauge this discomfort by how much my stomach churns when I hear her name announced as my cell phone rings.

Mental note: Buy a pallet full of antacids.

I know I’m being ridiculous because my mom’s a 78-year-old lady for crying out loud. And me, well (say this with a little attitude) I’m a grown woman! Intellectually I’m aware of these facts but emotionally when she leaves me a voicemail I cringe and cry. Then I create a flowchart to decide what would happen if I listen or don’t listen to the message.

It’s during these emotionally charged situations that I have to arm myself against the inevitable tongue lashings. So on this particular day, I armed myself in a mesh cream-colored sweater with gold metallic threads. A separate yet coordinating loop-knot vest was a fabulous match. I finished this look with black suede knee-high boots and a long strand of faux pearls.

You look as wonderful as always. I had a mother like that – stomach churning when she was a sourpuss. To be fair, she also had a mental illness. Sometimes it is hard to know where the mental illness ends and the personality begins…

Yeah, I hear you Kerry. My mom was always a bit of a narcissist and it seems the alzheimer’s is enhancing her negative traits. And unfortunately I’ve not been blessed with much patience and will find myself arguing with her trying to get her to understand reason. It’s so aggravating. I hate this disease.

Oh, I feel for you. Sometimes Alzheimer’s presents as aggression at first and can change over time (medication?). I have no patience at all and am in awe of the care workers in my mother in law’s Care Home.

They are something. I was thinking just the other day that my brother and I will have to do something nice for the nurses on my mom’s floor because I know they aren’t compensated nearly enough for what they have to put up with. But there are a few who should probably look into other careers because they just don’t seem to have the compassion/patience needed to work with alzheimers patients.

This post really resonated with me. I love that you dressed to feel more confident in a situation that is so emotionally challenging. I also adore the way you describe clothes. The details make it seem like a piece of art and it never occurred to me to think of clothes like that! I learn something new every time I read your blog. 🙂

Thank you Brigid. I think with the holidays just around the corner it makes it especially challenging but on good days I make to soak up as much positivity as I can to carry me through on the rough days.

You look very nice and also confident. How we dress does affect our moods and attitudes for that occasion. For example, if you are going to a Steelers game, jeans and a sweatshirt would put you in football mode. For a business meeting you would choose something professional. You are doing well under difficult circumstances. Blessings.

I like any team that plays outside in cold weather. My long standing favorite team is the Cincinnati Bengals, who I have followed forever. This year I find myself a Cowboys fan. And let us not forget my Indiana Hoosiers.

Funny Cincinnati is one of your faves. My previous manager was from Cincy and of course she remained totally loyal even among all the Steeler fans here in Pittsburgh. She’d even go so far as to wear her team’s gear whenever the two teams faced one another. During one of her travels we took the opportunity to decorate her office with Steeler paraphernalia which she got a charge out of.

Well you certainly look gorgeous! I also have a difficult relationship with my mother and I laughed at this as the last time I had to be around her (two weeks ago) I took great pains to rock my outfit so I’d feel more confident. You’re a good daughter. 💛

Thank you Camie! 💜 It’s so funny how many women I’ve talked to who have difficult or shall I say challenging relationships with their mothers. When I was growing up you couldn’t have convinced me that I wasn’t alone. I’m sure the relationship I had with my mom had a lot to do with my aversion to having daughters even though I hope if I had a daughter it would be different but as it turned out I had three sons.

I have two daughters and two sons. I purposely have raised my kids completely opposite from how I was raised. I have strong bonds with all my kids but my daughters are my best friends. Your sons are blessed to have you as their mom. 💛

Good for you Camie, your children are equally blessed to have you as their mom.💖 And it’s so great that your daughters are your best friends. This is the one missed opportunity about not having girls that would have been so nice, that is if I could have pulled it off. Even though I didn’t have daughters for the most part I too raised my boys the total opposite of how I was raised.

I think you found the right solution for all Mom problems: a mesh cream-colored sweater with gold metallic threads and matching loop knot vest, jeans, black suede knee-high boots, and long strand of faux pearls. That does it every time. Try to sit back and realize you are very good person Steph and don’t rely on others for your happiness – even your Mom – as happiness comes from within. I just lost my Mom a few weeks ago, and I would like to say to cherish the moments with you Mom while you can. But stay strong, brave, beautiful and bold! (as well as a bit blind).

Thank you Carla for the lovely comment. I remember you telling me about your mom and how you traveled to and from the service. While I was always closer to my grandma than my mom I still advocated for her and saw to it her needs were met. Right after her fall when she was in the hospital it was especially difficult because no matter how I felt about her in the past she was and always will be my grandma’s daughter.

I’m so sorry your relationship with your Mom is so challenging. I’ve shared with you how my relationship with my Mom was so tense at times. I even was cautious and careful about how I dressed to be with her, her last few days alive, as that life of being judged and her often comments on what I was wearing were so ingrained within me.

I think we also judge ourselves on top of it, feeling we should have more easy, loving relationships with our Moms.

Awe thank you Katelon. Yeah we’ve talked about this before. Since my mom and I have always had a contentious relationship the Alzheimer’s seems to enhance her negative traits. It is kind of nice though talking with other people at the nursing home about their loved ones. It’s the same story where they’ll say they don’t know what to expect when they visit. Some of the residents are really quiet and subdued.

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