10 Amazing Things About Dating A Musician

I once dated a musician. Every night he used to sing for me over the phone. Whatever I asked him to, no matter how silly the songs were, he never refused. He used to turn the phone’s speaker mode on, and used to play the guitar while singing. It was amazing! And you know what happened to my musician boyfriend? I married him.

It is said that musicians have unique brains that work in a positive way. It is also said that because of their unique brain works, they tend to be quite sensitive. I don’t know if ALL the musicians in the world are sensitive or not, but I know one thing for sure, they are super talented! More over, they are charming, attractive, and have unique styles of their own. And who wouldn’t want to date such flairs? Those lucky ones like me, know how amazing these musicians are. Here’s a sneak peak of some of the amazing things about dating musicians.

1. They write songs for you.

They don’t always need to be emotionally unbalanced to write songs. They can be happy, they can be tired, and they can be in love. They come up with such powerful lyrics, that, if the songs are meant for you, you will be swept away from your feet. Seems exaggerated? Absolutely not. The pop musicians will write very romantic lyrics, whereas, the rockstar musicians, or the heavy metal musicians may write some twisted lyrics that won’t make much sense to you, but trust me, the words have deep meaning. Regardless of how complicated or uncomplicated the libretto are, you have a whole song dedicated to you, and is displayed by your musician partner, and their band!

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2. They provide you with endless lists of music.

Because they compose music for you doesn’t mean they do that only. They are your live jukebox. Ask them to play, or sing anything, and they will never hesitate. One thing is for sure, they love to show off their skills. Lets face it, we love to see them show off their skills as well! And the best part is, it doesn’t matter in what situation you are in, I mean, whether you are cooking, or dressing up for a party, or even taking a small break from your work at home, your partner would harmonize their instrument, and play you multiple music.

3. They provide you with free concert tickets.

Music doesn’t stop at home. Whenever, and wherever they are playing, or not playing, you have the privilege to access the backstage, and meet your other favorite music stars. You won’t even need a pass, or no bouncer will stop you. Your only pass is your partner. To put a cherry on top, you get to click photos with them, selfies or not, and take their autograph too. Another plus point: they know who you are!

4. They are coordinated.

When they are with their band, they have to coordinate with each other so that whatever music they produce must be perfect. Because of this coordination, it seems that outside of their “jamming”, they perfectly correlate, especially with their partners. Or at least, my partner does. We harmonize immaculately. And I have seen similar behavior in other musicians, and their partners. This is quite a talent in fact!

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5. They are super talented.

Since they are talented enough to coordinate perfectly, did you think of other talents that they possess? These are the people who know how to touch your soul through music. These are the people who can play musical instruments of their choice- be it a guitar, a bass, maybe both, keyboard, drums, electric guitars, acoustic guitars, harmonica, and the list goes on. And the best part? They are so talented that they write their own lyrics, and compose their own songs. Apart from music, I know many musicians who love to cook, who paints, who acts, and who poises as fashion icons. Talk about natural talents! And us, their lucky partners, are so blessed to have them in our lives!

6. They are kids at heart.

The fact that they come up with music that have deep meanings, don’t mean they are all grown ups. These geniuses sharpen their minds through playing their favorite instruments, video games, getting involved in various sports, or something similar. They believe that playing instruments is a great way to unwind their minds. They love to poke, and joke around with each other. And yes, most of them thoroughly enjoys South Park, and Family Guy. You get to enjoy all these too!

7. They will never bore you. Never.

Whenever your beloved musician is around you, take one fact for guaranteed: you are not getting bored! It’s not only because they are kids at heart, it is also because of their charming nature, their entertaining attitudes, and their knack for music. Be it at home, or at a get-together, or even at a party, they are sure to take the lime light. And the amazing thing is, how proud you are of your partner! That smile doesn’t fade, right?

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8. They have super concentration power.

Oh yes! They can concentrate on one piece of music for hours, until that segment is PERFECT. Because they are so used to this kind of concentration, it has become a natural habit for them. Their concentration flows into their private life as well, making them devote more on you. And them having concentration power has another advantage: they are hundred percent focused on pleasing you in bed.

9. With great concentration, comes great patience.

These two talents are correlated with each other. Because, they need patience to concentrate on one thing. Similarly, they need patience to listen to your nags, your complains, your conversation on specific works of yours, and the list is endless. They usually don’t complain much. This can mean two things: one, either they are super cool, and gives you enough space as not to muddle in your private affairs, unless, you ask for their help. Two, they simply daze out, pretending to listen to you throughout. Don’t take number two as a disadvantage point. Because, for example, if you want to lease out your anger for someone, who is the best person you can share it with? Your partner, the patient listener.

10. They are perfectionists.

They will make sure their music is perfect, and they will also make sure their relationship with their partner is perfect. There are certain small matters that these musician partners will focus on, and make them faultless. Also because, despite being perfect, they are so imperfect in their own manner, that it makes them perfect too!

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Dating a musician is one magnanimous experience that you don’t want to miss out! Your partner maybe one big hot-shot musician, or maybe a struggling one, regardless of what they are, they need your motivation, and love to produce more amazing music, and make you proud. Harmonize with your partner to make your life more rhythmic!

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

Understand your own communication style

Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience

Communicate with precision and care

Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.