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Saturday, 15 October 2011

This Woman's Guilt Is Never Gone

Why is it that despite being debilitated by painful sinuses and the start of a cold (that would be SO much worse if I didn't dose myself with vitamins daily) I still feel that I have to spend my weekends cleaning, tidying, cooking and baking? Why can't I lay around, doing a bit of light F1 watching, reading the paper and having a bath like others in this house do? I work 24 hours a week ~ not a lot compared to some I know ~ but then I start all over again when I get home. Or I am killed with guilt that I'm not doing the motherly/wifely/ housekeepery thing. I kind of wish I could be one of those women who have their husband running around after them, shopping and doing the housework. All I know is I spend my weekends fighting a losing battle against chaos. Something's gotta give.

5 comments:

Sometimes it's good to be like you. Women whose partners run around for them and who lie in bed because they have a mild cold (while you are peeling potatoes with swine flu) are not in control.My mum is like you, I am too because I was never allowed to wallow in self pity when I was poorly. You probably don't really want to lie around watching tv, its quite boring and instead of feeling well rested you just feel the day is wasted.If you want a rest, have one - nobody will tell you you're lazy. I get sinus problems this time of year, so painful. Rest when you need to and when you want to, the chores will always be there!

I know where you are coming from. Generally the guilt is self imposed, but both you and I know that if you don't at least try and keep on top of things the chances are that no one will. I come in each night from work - 9 times out of 10 after my DH, he will be sitting relaxing, reading his book, having had a nice cup of coffee. I get in and frantically start running around in a vain attempt to at least clear some clutter and cook and evening meal. To be fair once I am in he will get up and make an attempt at helping, (probably because I start huffing and puffing and clattering things around). Thing is if I moan he will just calmly ask who is stopping me from having a cuppa and a rest before I start making the meal, and even goes and makes me the said cuppa. He's right too, it is only me that insists I make a start as soon as I walk in the door - but like you when I don't I feel guilty!

I have a friend who has spent her entire married life needing to "rest" in the afternoon, and thus reclines on the sofa until her husband brings her a cup of tea at about 4.30. He's well trained and her well being is uppermost in his mind.

I'm like you and get on with the ironing, peeling the spuds etc. but I wish like mad I could be like her.

you're not alone my friend. I think guilt comes as standard!My OH is fantastic - but I still thank him when he does something like takes the boys to school! Why thank - they are his kids too - and we both work.Something tells me the problem is as much ours...fee x(if I feel poorly Cleggy will tell me to take it easy...but the pile of chores is only bigger the following day right?)

If you feel really & truly sh*te then rest up. I know I keep going & going until my body says "No more!" and then I listen, and generally go to bed for two days.

DH is pretty good in that he will offer to help but the thing is, he's short sighted and I have 20/20 vision. I see all the things he misses when it comes to housework and can end up doing a lot of stuff all over again so in the end it is just simpler for me to do it to start with.

I have started delegating more things out though that you can't get really get wrong unless you've got a bucket over your head. Seems to be working out...

ABOUT ME

I'm a loving mum, loving wife, loving daughter and loving sister who is trying to deal with the crummy parts of life as well as the fab parts. I'm aiming to save money, pay off debts and declutter this year. And to be the best person I can be. Watch this space to see me try to pull it all off!