Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Here's a secret - I already voted. I just went back to Pensacola to visit my family and I filled out my absentee ballot and put it in the mail. It's now waiting for November 6th in which it will spring forth and represent my small voice amongst the overwhelmingly large crowd.

In the US, in general, it's socially inappropriate to discuss politics amongst mixed company. It's just something that you don't do because it can foster a heated or hurtful exchange. For me, I have no problems with either political party. I tend to agree and disagree with various aspects of each and I long for a day in which we can put these idle pissing matches to the side and create real, effective change. The truth is this, until both parties in government pull their overpaid heads out of their backsides, we are screwed.

With that said, I am going to proudly proclaim my 5 point plan of why I voted for Barack Obama. To my friends voting for Mitt Romney, this isn't a jab at you or your beliefs, it's just me spouting out what is real to me.

Fighting for the Middle Class: Romney was born rich. He’ll die rich. Obama was born in the middle. He'll die rich.

Romney cannot emphathize with something he's never been. He has no direct connection to the middle class beyond the one time when he had to use the bathroom in coach class on a commercial flight. Gross!

It's similar to me trying to relate to what it is like for a black man in America just because I have good rhythm and a large penis.*

*depends on the lighting

Immigration: Mitt said that he gets immigration because his Dad was born in Mexico...to American parents.

Being born abroad to American parents does not make you an immigrant. It makes his Dad an American that was born in another country.

Rumor has it that I was conceived in the back room of a Cuban restaurant in Miami. Does that make me a Mexican or a Cuban? I can never tell them apart from underneath those sombreros anyways.

So, until Mitt's padre rides in on burro carrying me the fanciest quesadilla this side of Ol' El Paso, I am not going to vote for him. Lo siento!

Abortion/Women’s Rights: Until a man grows a va-jay-jay and has to walk through the pain of monthly chocolate cravings, I really feel that he doesn't have the right to tell a woman what to do with her baby maker. Whether he has them in binders or not (WTF was that all about?)

Many times while attempting sports as a child, I was called a rather crass synonym for 'vagina' and in all honesty, that's just offensive to women. I am sure most vaginas are stronger than my toddler-like arms and probably throw a baseball further. However, after Paul Ryan stated that when it comes to abortion he can't separate his religion and his policy, he got a big no from me.

When women’s rights are lessened, inevitably they suffer dire consequences. Read up on the girl from the Dominican Republic who died recently because she was denied chemo which could have harmed her baby but saved her life. She eventually received the chemo after a long battle but it was too late and she and the baby died.

Equality: Look through your family. If you do not have a gay somewhere in your blood line, well then God bless you because you’re a liar. They’re everywhere!

Imagine being in the hospital and the person that you love can’t come in to check on you because his/her Mother deems your relationship as “evil” or “unnatural” or that precious baby in your arms right now may one day love someone with the same awkward genitals but will be discriminated against his/her whole life. As an American citizen, it is plain and simply unfair!

Jobs. Jobs. Jobs.: Towards the end of 2008, the Global Financial Crisis hit. The ramifications of that would inevitably be felt for years.

Obama walked in screwed when it came to the economy – so, of course, jobs would be lost during his reign. If you think that your lazy butt is going to magically wake up and have a job the next day if Romney becomes President, you are a damn fool.

To my fellow Floridians, in particular, because we live in a state that swings precariously between the parties, I implore to sit down and truly think this through. Obama ran on 'change' the first time around and the country that he inherited did that drastically about 3 months before he was elected. The Global Financial Crisis decimated any real chance we had for effective change because we went broke. Wall Street played us for fools and they shall continue to do so. In what world does someone deserve a million dollar bonus? Our mortgages went bust because someone making $50k a year somehow thought that he deserved to live in a million dollar home and then he went to a bank that told him that it was ok. There is some level of social responsibility to play here too. We, as individuals, have got to own it a little. Obama inherited that craziness, he didn't cause it.

So, I've pondered and I have been torn a bit but ultimately, the candidate that speaks to me the most is Barack Obama and that's why I got a cramp in my hand as I diligently scribbled in the circle next to his name.

Sydney, Australia Time

Pensacola, USA Time

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