Future is ugly for Osborne… pretty for Priti

Sun columnist believes Chancellor is making ‘hysterical’ forecasts about Brexit

By KELVIN MACKENZIE, Sun Columnist

22nd April 2016, 11:46 am

Updated: 22nd April 2016, 11:46 am

GEORGE OSBORNE is such a fraud. The Chancellor, who has gone all slim and Caesar-like of late, couldn’t tell you what either his waistline or his hairline will look like next week but confidently forecasts that in 2030 the UK economy will be 6.6 per cent worse off if we Brexit. It’s Brollocks.

Nobody can forecast what will happen in 16 years’ time, with two exceptions — Mick Jagger will look worse and the 8.11 will be delayed.

MacKenzie believes Priti is going to be Prime Minister one day... and rightly so

Just look back 16 years to 2000. Could you have worked out:

- That today Tony Blair would be a property speculator in the UK but making even more money travelling the world and offering advice to dictators.

- That today Gordon Brown would now be considered the worst, and not the best, Chancellor of all time after leaving the country on its knees when kicked out by the voters.

- That today the Royal Bank of Scotland would be owned by the State after going bust with a deal too far. Back then the CEO was viewed as Businessman of the Millennium, while today he can be seen pushing a broom somewhere in Jockistan.

Forecasting is a mug’s game, as Mr Osborne knows only too well. Treasury economists were only created to make astrologers look good.

Only yesterday he had to admit that he had overshot his borrowing target by £2billion.

He got that wrong after only 12 months so why should we believe his ludicrous 16-year forecast?

I particularly disliked him for describing the Leave campaign as “economically illiterate” which is rich coming from a bloke who has never worked in business, never closed a sale, never won a deal, never begged a bank for a loan. Osborne now knows for certain that he will never be leader of the Conservative Party.

No matter what the referendum result, he is done for.

If it’s No, he gets shown the door with Cameron. If it’s Yes, he hangs on to Dave’s coattails but has no chance against a Boris or a Gove or my particular favourite, Employment Minister Priti Patel.

Some five years ago, when a lowly backbencher, I forecast Ms Patel would be Prime Minister one day and nothing she has done since has changed my view.

I particularly admire her for blaming uncontrolled immigration for putting “unsustainable pressure” on the NHS and schools and pointing out many families won’t be granted their first choice for primary school places.

Being the daughter of a Ugandan shopkeeper who opened a post office in Essex, she is able to make these perfectly sensible points without being accused of racism.

Osborne knows it’s all over for him so over the next two months he will make even more hysterical forecasts.

Take no notice. He’s yesterday’s man.

Our pain is gain at saga

I KEEP telling you that Saga are exploiting the over-50s by pretending to be on their side while at the same time picking their pocket. And here’s the proof.

Lance Batchelor, CEO of the Folkestone-based outfit in Kent, has just announced a profit increase of 55 per cent, which was largely due to the way they cunningly overcharge their £2.5million car and home insurance customers.

I absolutely guarantee that if you have been with Saga for two years and come to my price comparison site aspokesmansaid.com I will save you at least £100 and more likely £150. Not to be sniffed at.

Column reader Sally Stevens, who lives out Windsor way, had her Saga insurance upped from £299 to £360 without explanation and went on a switching site and got it for £201.

It’s not only Saga rooking you. Column reader Graham Rose was paying £1,200 with Lloyds Bank (By your side? More likely by your wallet) and he switched for the same cover at £233.

LOOK at the hairline of England and Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart, I suspect he won’t be doing Head & Shoulders TV ads much longer but he should be reassured there will be good money from the manufacturers of Mr Sheen multi-purpose polish.

— DON’T all get your hankies out now but a Surrey estate agent tells me that thanks to the size of stamp duty you can’t sell ANY house in the South East for more than £2million for love nor money and haven’t been able to for the past six months.

On the uber swanky St George’s Hill estate, in Weybridge, Surrey, where palaces go for between £5million and £20million, I hear there are now 40 of these joints on the market.

I have an uneasy feeling about where this is all leading. A price crash at the top end is an absolute certainty.

Getting punny

There’s some belters today:

Coal merchant in London-derry – Flaming Grate.

Butcher’s van in Redruth, Cornwall – Being vegetarian is a big meat steak.

On a plasterer’s van in Basingstoke, Hants – Fat Boy Skim.

Italian café in Bromley, Kent – Eat-Taly.

Gardener’s van in Sheffield – Leaf it to Me.

On the side of a gas fitter’s van in Swansea – Green Green Gas of Home.

Skip lorry in Ivybridge, Devon – Dusty Bin.

Mobile catering van in Gainsborough, Lincs – Pulp Kitchen.

Indian restaurant in Shirley, Birmingham – The Shirley Temple.

Indian street food vendor in Reigate, Surrey – Brothers in Naans.

Wool shop in Pontarddulais, Swansea – A Good Yarn.

Hairdressers in St Austell, Cornwall – Eclipse.

Laundry van on the M62 – Soapranos.

Shopfitter’s van on the M4 – Screwing Things Up Since 1961.

Allegedly seen on the rear of an undertakers van in Lancashire – No body kept on this vehicle overnight!

Hodgson said Leicester's striker should never have been sent off during Sunday's game

HOORAY for England manager Roy Hodgson for being brave enough – after all, he is employed by the FA which will carry out disciplinary action against Jamie Vardy – to say Leicester’s star striker should never have been sent off during Sunday’s game.

The wholly unwarranted red card may cost Leicester the title, in which case referee Jon Moss might find it as dangerous to be in Leicester on a Saturday night as it would be for me in Liverpool.