These mostly-SFW photos of Danica Patrick straddling a Cobra for the 2009 SI Swimsuit Issue join…
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To be fair to Patrick, her choice of creepy seductress Jolie is really just an extension of Patrick's bizarre level of self/brand-awareness. Angelina is an action star and more age appropriate for the role of a 26-year-old than the 40-year-old Aniston. For marketing purposes it would be a much better fit. And what about America's sweetheart Mandy Moore? Too tall. We're imagining a similar sequence passed through Pitt's mind when he ditched the former "Friends" star for the one-woman African baby kidnapping gang.

Watch the video, shot by a group of Canadian bloggers, and you can see Patrick has already figured all of this out. The success of Danica Patrick has a lot to do with her being a really good driver wrapped in a fantastic marketing strategy. Fortunately, all of this is just hypothetical. Unless she dies in a horrible crash Patrick is only at made-for-TV movie level. For a feature studio film with a big star she'll have to win the Indy 500 or get killed by terrorists.