Fitness Review: The Slide Effect Holds the Promise of VS Model Abs

If you read my last fitness review, you know that the only consistent workout plan I'm on is the 'If You Get To The Bottom Of This Doritos Bag You Will Magically Become Miranda Kerr.' However, the fact that I am a major "before" seems to appeal to fitness professionals, as I have been sent (gifted?) a sample of The Slide Effect, a fitness gadget invented by Olympic coach and celebrity trainer Brandon Larcom.

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Basic deets: The Slide Effect is a snazzy workout apparatus designed for people who travel for work, hate going to a gym and having creepy people leer at them, or simply feel childlike joy when they are sliding around their floor on wheels. As seen above, there's a mat for your knees/back and two adjustable elastic cords, one on each side, attached.

Cost: $90 a pop (or a free trial for $15).

Celebrity fans: Brandon Larcom (the creator) uses the product when he personally trains a lot of well known Olympic figure skaters, Victoria's Secret supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, and professional hockey player Jack Johnson.

Sample move: "Quadruped." Place knees on the mat (like you are doing a yogic tabletop). Grab handle and extend right arm, place opposite leg in handle and extend left leg back to create a stretch on both sides. Okay, this might sound complicated without a picture — I included a video below that'll explain it better.

That's just one example, but there is a surprising amount of variety with this thing: Moves inspired stylistically by pilates, yoga, "the 360 burn" (a full-body sweatstorm that sounds similar to the Insanity workout, if you're familiar) swimming, even golf. The knee pad doubles as a back pad or stomach rest depending on the moves, and the Velcro handles included hold both your hands or feet when required. The weight bars/metal rollers are self-explanatory. The cords attached to the handles are adjustable and elastic, which is convenient, but takes some initial eyeballing/adjusting for each move.

If you choose the pilates/yoga repertoire, it's like doing a version of a regs class with a more intense burn in the core. You need at least a little core strength to do this the way you are supposed to, I suspect. Either that or a nice leather strap to bite into like a wounded Civil War soldier during un-anesthetized surgery.

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Instructor style: Unfortunately, I can't testify to the workout DVDs because I have no player. But the paper Workout Guide that is included with the product describes every move quite clearly, plus uses teeny photos of cheerful, ripped multi-ethnic people for further clarification.

Here are professionals in the fitness industry using the Slide Effect.

Here I am using the Slide Effect.

How'd I do? I lasted about 45 minutes trying various basic positioning in the pilates and yoga varieties. Considering I have the upper body strength of a Fraggle, it went surprisingly well! (It also goes great with Katy Perry music, incidentally.)

Overall: For experienced people who naturally have good form, this would be an excellent and effective at-home workout tool. I have zero doubt that after a month or two you would have abs of steel, or some other metal alloy. For people like me, who need occasional adjustments (plus the reminder to keep my core active) during workouts, it may be less effective, or, worse, may cause injury. For Alessandra Ambrosio:

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