Last summer Cloud and I threw a big house/apt party. There was a fair bit of alcohol, we made specialty drinks, I baked, we had a chocolate fondue going, I made devilled eggs, etc. In other words, while it was a big raucous party, it was not a college frat party with a keg.

My very good friend was dating this guy Matt, that a bunch of our circle had gone to high school with. He'd only become a part of our circle again in the past year or so, and a lot because he was dating my friend.

The first time I met Matt was 9 years ago, when I was in college. It was 3 am, we were at a corner pizza shop eating 'after partying pizza' on the UWS, sitting by the plate glass windows on the side of the shop, and someone said "hey look, it's Matt". I turned to look through the window across the street, and see a body hurtling through space. He is running, from across the street. He LEAPS at the window, and turns his body so his side hits the window. A cascading of shattered glass and a second later, he is in a heap on the sidewalk. We are in shock. Fortunately for us, the window was double paned, and only the outer one broke. We swore in 3 languages to the shop owner that we were not 'with him', and left as the cops arrived. We didn't see him again for a few more years.

When he showed up on the scene again, I thought he'd matured a bit. Thing is, he has a massive massive drinking problem. He's a totally nice guy when sober.

So anyway, he comes to this party. He's acting like a bit of a jerk, but no biggie, UNTIL, late in the party, there's only maybe 15-20 people left, he stands at one corner of the dining area and waves people out of the way of the dining area. I think he's going to show off ballroom dancing skills, or something equally bizarre, by the way he's standing. Once he has everyone out of his way, he RUNS (at top speed, in a NYC apartment) across the 5-7 feet of the dining area, uses our bench as a springboard, and LEAPS over our glass coffee table (laden completely with glass, ceramic, a burning fondue pot, etc) and into the couch on the other side (which yes, is completely full of people). His foot slams into the side of the coffee table - the only thing that prevented breakage was that the impact ran through the wrought iron frame. If his foot had hit two inches toward the center of the table, we all would have spent the next several hours in ER.

There was DEAD SILENCE. He had this silly grin on his face that slowly faded. I truly think he expected to have fratboylike applause for his stunt. I had to walk into the kitchen, in silence, because I was shaking with anger. No one said a word. I returned and gave him the fiercest verbal smackdown I had ever delivered. I wish I had kicked him out right there, but I didn't, because I knew my friend would leave too.

After the party, we found out that he had also drunkenly thrown an empty jack daniels bottle off our roof, as well as at least 1 empty beer bottle (a lot of people were hanging out on the fire escape and the roof, and were APPALLED at his behavior, and reported to us the next day).

We sat him down a few days later and told him that he was not allowed back in our home, and would not be invited to the wedding, because we couldn't trust him around our parents/grandparents/coworkers/etc. We also told him that it had become painfully obvious he had a drinking problem, and he needed to get help. He felt just terrible about the things he done while dead drunk, and didn't remember all of them. But this happened all the time - he still made the choice to drink, and to drink to excess, over and over and over.

We never had to really test it though (although I promise, I would have stood by all of that), because a month or so later, my friend found out he was cheating on her with multiple women and lying to her about his finances, and she kicked him out. Haven't talked to him since.

Many years ago, members of my family planned to visit me for a weekend to see the sights. One of my family members had a friend she worked with in a seasonal job and everyone was heading home to start school. He was from another state but had missed his flight. So the next plan was for him to come home with her so he could catch a train. He was supposed to take a train from my FM's hometown station and connect in my hometown station to the train he ultimately needed. But since they were all coming to visit me, they called and asked right before they left if it would be okay if he just tagged along and catch his train here at the end of the weekend. I love to entertain and I'm a "The more, the merrier!" type person, so I said that would be just fine. (cue ominous music...)

They all arrived. I asked everyone if they'd like anything to eat/drink and listed off the stuff that I had. He asked me for a specific drink and a specific brand of snack that I did not have. I explained that I didn't have it but I did have this, this and this (reasonable substitutes - for example, I had Lays potato chips, he wanted Pringles.). Nope, that wasn't what he wanted. HE wanted specific drink and specific brand of snack. My FM told him that there was a store just down the block, she would go with him if he really wanted to get them. Apparently, this was an appalling suggestion. Unless I was willing to give him money to make the purchase. He was a guest, after all, and I should be providing the hospitality.

He spent the rest of the night pouting about it, making PA remarks about how he always made sure he had the specific sort of food/drink his guests liked.

This trip was a sight seeing trip for my family and he spent pretty much the whole weekend complaining about it (my FM bought all of his tickets, just for the record. He didn't have to put out a single dime.) Normally, if a family member doesn't want to do a certain activity, they're more than welcome to hang out at my house. But since I didn't know this guy from Adam, he wasn't going to be left at my house all by his lonesome. We kept asking him if there was something he wanted to do but he couldn't ever come up with anything. On the last day, he finally came up with an idea. Unfortunately, it was about an hour before his train left and there was no way we could have gotten there and back with any time to actually see anything. Of course, he complained about that too.

Now, when someone has hosted me for a weekend, I (at the very least) thank them verbally for their hospitality. Not that I was holding my breath, but I didn't even get that from him. He said goodbye to FM and got on the train, not saying a word to anyone else. Fortunately, my FM was pretty fed up with his behavior too, so I'll never have to worry about inviting him back.

About 8 years ago DH and I were newly married and were in his hometown visiting his relatives. I guess DH was still excited about having our own place in BigCity and casually mentioned to a bunch of cousins that they could stay with us if they were ever over. Secretly I was cringing but didn't say anything because I didn't think anyone would ever take us up on his offer.

Cue DH's cousin Andy. Andy phoned us up about a few months later saying he was going to be in BigCity for a work thing and could he stay with us a few days. We said no problem. While he wasn't as bad as some of the other guests I've read about in this thread, a few of the things he did were:

1. found my $$ ceramic knife that I'd hidden in a cupboard and proceeded to use it. Since he didn't know (and didn't ask) that you have to use it on a soft surface like plastic or wood, he used it on our granite countertop and put a big chip in it and NEVER TOLD US. We found out about it the next time I had to use the knife.

2. Slept in our spare room which was technically our computer room so he knew we'd need access to it. But he would leave his dirty underwear on the floor right underneath the computer chair

3. Also broke a bowl that he was trying to remove from a top shelf.

4. slept in late all the time. As in till 11 or 12pm!

DH learned his lesson and was a lot more circumspect about whom he extended invitations to from then on.

My roommate in college had her mother come for the weekend. I asked where her mom was staying, and she didn't answer. I came home on Friday night to find her mom- in My bed. Asleep. I spent the weekend on my RAs floor.

FSIL was stressed, and wanted to hang with us for the better part of a week. I wasn't thrilled about the timing (midterms on campus, lots of paperwork), but was happy to have her come visit, and reworked my schedule a bit.

Day One, put away more beer than 2 guys and me combined (she drank an entire 18-pack, and finished off what the guys and I didn't from our 18). Not too bad on the behavior -- stopped just short of picking a fight.

Day Two, drank an 18, a pitcher of margaritas, and untold beers at the bar. Behaved very indecently toward a male friend of ours. Wanted to go to a strip club late at night. Picked a fight with DF. Repeated the same conversation, roughly 6 times in an hor.

Day Three, drank 30 beers. Picked fights with everyone. Tried to leave the house to wake up a single dad at 3 a.m. to "party." Finally passed out.

Day Four: Wake-and-bake. All doors open and unlocked, television blaring, curling irons smoking and about to catch on fire. Our closets are trashed because she rooted through them for the beer we'd hidden from her. She's passed out. Again. We wake her up, after agreeing on a plan, and tell her she needs to get out. "If we loved her, we wouldn't have boundaries." Rolled her eyes at us when we expressed our concern for the cat (open doors issue), everyone's safety (the almost-fire), the stress this was all causing us, etc. Lots of screaming, cursing, intentional mess-making, things getting broken and slammed around. She stole several lighters from us (just to be petty). Finally got her out of there, only to discover that she'd vomited all over the bathroom, and that vomit chunks were also present in the kitchen.

I went on a cleaning binge that nobody can top, I kid you not.

To clarify, I didn't condone the drinking -- I wasn't even aware of how much she was drinking. DF and I had a talk about that. And I didn't really socialize with them much because her behavior was migraine-inducing, and I had work to do. He has since come around on many issues, and agrees that she will not set foot in the house, nor will I willingly place myself in her presence.

And she will never be invited back.

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Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. -- Jane Austen

Penguinpants, wow! 18 beers! I didn't even know that was physically possible! Where does it all go? (at least until it comes back up?)

Back in his day (more than 5years ago, as that's when I came romantically into the picture), DH played this game called 'Circle of Death'. All I really know is that it's a drinking game, and he'd put back at LEAST 20-25beers in less than 2 hours, plus hard liquor. Granted, he usually funded his own drinking and then some. Without puking. Granted, his secret was not legal unless you have glaucoma and are in Cali.

Trust me, I have NO IDEA how he made it to 23 (the age he was when we started dating) after hearing some of his stories.

What she consumed on Saturday hit at least 30, once DF put everything together. They'd gone to a local festival after she'd downed a considerable amount at our home, and a few of our friends joined them. Each shared the consumption numbers they'd noted. I think that's why Sunday went so very badly -- at 4 a.m., when she went to sleep, there's no way that just a few hours of sleep would have processed all of that beer. And then waking up and drinking more? I think it was 4 more, maybe only 3. I'd luckily hid most of her stash under the bed, but she found a few bottles in the closet. We were at Mass for an hour and a half, which is all it took for her to get that screwy. I only found out how much she'd had the day before when we were about to leave for Mass, which is when I scurried around and began hiding things.

As for intervention, their parents have been trying for years, but they've also been enabling her quite a bit. I have no idea if she'll ever be able to make it out of the pit she's created (and been helped with). FMIL and FFIL don't want her at the wedding next month -- they said that they wouldn't be able to keep a leash on her in a different city, with open bar (even at a 3-hour reception, it will get bad, as we've seen), and that they'd rather enjoy witnessing our wedding without worrying about her all of the time. DF agreed, and I said, "hrm, o.k., then," and went along with it. Secretly relieved, and all of that -- she was so verbally abusive to me and to DF, and so abusive of our house, hospitality, friends, and time, that I'm looking forward to never seeing her again.

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Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. -- Jane Austen