Aaroh is my way of sensitising myself and others about the various Feminist issues that still persist in modern day India. This is not to stereotype myself as a Feminist but a subtle protest against the ills that still reside behind the whims and fancies of the 21st Century.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Break Free from Marriage Conservatism

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in search for a wife.”

-Jane Austen

Famous lines such as these often set me thinking about certain social by laws laid down by God knows who for a whatnot reason. The idea of marriage has often lead to deep introspection but the idea of “searching” for a wife has left jitters running down my spine bringing along with them a feeling of discomfort. I have yet not been able to comprehend the reason behind people looking for “tall, fair, slim, convent educated girl, with traditional values” of so and so caste not to forget the recently added parameter – “MBA”. The issue that arises here,(apart from the inherent flaws) is fairly clear - If I am an MBA myself, my fortune must be overwhelmingly loaded with a five figure salary, so consequently, why should I be available for a man, highly accomplished with money in thy purse???

Marriage is one such Institution whose rules and regulations have not changed over a period of time. No MBA could draw out an innovative strategy like the “Marriage Mix” and there shall be no second Michael Porter to chart out the five forces that could avert the atrocities of the legacy of this Institution. Parents in the 20th Century are very modern when it comes to upbringing their daughters in the so called “modernized paradigm” and yet would take a comfortable back end when it comes to Marriage Conservatism. But what annoys me most to the extent of ripping my nerves apart is that many young girls today (by young I mean as young as 22-23yrs) are more than happy to conform passively to the long treaded path of their mothers and grandmothers to find a “perfect match” for themselves.

What the older generation conveniently ignored and the younger generation fails to rationalize upon is that there is no “perfect match” that can be found by searching for it. Marriage is a union of two souls and their compatibility cannot be mapped by others but is a direct consequence of their regard for each other. In today’s world, a convent educated girl has all rights to step out into the open with all her accomplishments to make a choice. The idea is that change is inevitable and must fight against all odds to assert and yet again re-assert itself. It’s now time for our lasses to inadvertently break free from the shackles of slumber and question in wrath, the barbarity and enormity of Conventionalism.