Is My Husband Asking for Too Much in a Dog Breed?

If you are wondering what is the right dog for you, this is the place to be. In this introductory forum we talk about topics such as breed vs. mix, size, age, grooming, breeders, shelters, rescues as well as requirements for exercise, space and care. No question is too silly here. This particular forum is for getting and giving helpful, nice advice. It is definitely not a forum for criticizing someone else's opinion, knowledge or advice. This forum is all about tail wagging and learning.

to OP- I'm glad you found a good fit. I totally agree that some breeds are just a bit more...maternal...then others, and seem to really really love them.

I think it's great that Marlow is so chill around kids. I wish my cardi girl was like that.

I socialized her as well as I could, but she's still fearful around them. I blame myself, because I know WHY she's fearful- I was living with a roommate who invited a friend to come over who had two very rowdy little boys. My dog was terrifed, but I misread her body language and thought she was just being very submissive. She was wagging her tail and not exactly trying to escape the situation, although she did hover close to me.

It wasn't until after they left that I realized she was shaking and that her submissivness was an extreme fear response. I think she was going through a fear period at the time, too.

It's taken two years more to get her to the point where she'll allow kids to approach her with out hiding behind my leg.

Well, I could think of plenty of dogs that suited the criteria except for one sticking point in just about every breed I hit upon. Irish Wolfhounds fit all of it, especially that intuitive gentleness around children. They are incredible to watch, instinctively know how to approach due to their size, they are masters at making that bulk and power seem harmless as a mouse.

Yet there's that whole must be great offlead thing...some people say never with sighthounds. Although I've known many IW's who've been fine. It's all about your comfort level and location. They're surprisingly easy keepers, the major downside other than cost is that short lifespan.

Collie is probably your best bet all things considered. Best of luck in your search.

(And someone recommended an Airedale. Nice to see them recognized for the great 'all-purpose' dogs they are. They fit everything until I read 'perform the commond the 100th time same as the first' that gave me pause. They hate repetition. )

Many of the desirable traits your husband has listed are heavily related to training, not only breed tendencies.

I have seen many good recommendations (at least one person has mentioned how GSDs and Dobermans appear less approachable), but you should also take into account that your husband will need to spend a lot of time with the dog to teach it the traits he would like it to have.

Many dog breed and mixed breeds (my 2 dogs are both rescues, one purebred, the other a mix) can adapt to the tendencies you have described. As long as he is willing to invest the time and learn the skills to teach, your husband can shape almost any breed to what he wants.

Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss this further! I am at pawsthenplay.com

I just wanted to thank everyone for the input and give an update. Saturday, we brought home Snow, a 5-yr-old Smooth Collie, and she's fitting in beautifully. There's such a contrast between her and Marlowe, lol! She's incredibly low-key, easy-going, and happy wherever she happens to be, whether it's out on a walk or just laying around. And she's absolutely the sweetest dog I've ever met, just walking up with wags and resting her head in your lap or giving toe kisses.

She definitely doesn't have Marlowe's intensity or NEED for interaction, which my husband is happy with. She's only been here a few days, but she seems to check all the boxes he wanted, with the possible exception of training quickly and easily, but that may just be the fact that she's settling in. Once she's recovered from her spay, they're starting basic manners classes, so we'll see how it goes from there. Right now, he's just trying to clicker train a sit...and she keeps giving us beautiful, perfect stacks instead.

Just for the contrast, right now, the Curly is laying as close to my feet as possible, alternately sleeping, squeaking his toy over and over again, and standing up to rest his chin on my arm while I type. The Collie is laying in hall, sleeping, and only coming in when we move or do something new. When we go outside, the Collie checks out stuff in the yard, then comes back to the people for love. The Curly finds the nearest tennis ball and drops it at the feet of the nearest person repeatedly until someone throws it for him. And although Curlies are definitely the most elegant of the retrievers, Snow does everything so gracefully and delicately, she makes Marlowe look like a bull in a china shop.

I'm definitely still firmly in the Curly camp (I LIKE Marlowe's quirks and obsessive tendencies), but Snow's really growing on me, and she's already fitting into the house like she's always been here. I'm so happy to have a two-dog household again after so many years!