Monday, March 5, 2012

Questions

So, as I mentioned before March is Question Month, and I received a couple questions. I definitely want more though, so keep them coming! March is the easiest blogging month, it really is :)

Tough one first :

1. "Hey serene, I'm ****... I see it's question month in your blog and i had a few questions for ya. I just started really reading your blog recently and I noticed that over the past year of posts you've mentioned that Cael has had some issues... medical? and now i see your gone but seem to be taking it really well. good for you really. But I know it's probably a really messy topic I was wondering what brought this on... you seemed to be completely in love with him and his in every way. A few small rule breaks you've mentioned but nothing major. and he gave back his affection obviously... I've been through a simlar situation before and seeing this makes no sense to me still. Sorry if it's a question thats off limits It's just been bugging me since you posted that seeing how similar our situations are. "

I don't want to over step any bounds here so as far as the issues question I'll just say that SOME of them are medical. As for what happened... you're right. I was his, I did love him.. parts of me probably still do. And by "parts" I mean most of me. I can't just shut that off. But it blindsided me as well. It really did. I think that's why I thought I was in denial for a while because I was SO shocked. Essentially what happened is a friend of mine contacted a girl her used to play with asking for a reference for him because this friend thought he was away a lot and lieing to me. So to protect me he wanted to know. I found out who it was he talked to and asked this girl why she said some of the things she did, thinking she wouldn't tell him since she asked that he not know. Which of course I told him.. I couldn't lie to him. He seen me talking to this girl as a breach of trust and quite honestly flew off the handle. He told me my trust issues were insane.. my trust issues had nothing to do with this at all. He also told me I had made everything worse for him, and to go away. He wouldn't listen to me, he just... lost it. So was it trust issues that ended us? Yes. But they weren't mine. Somebody who wasn't hiding something wouldn't have reacted like that to me trying to protect them.. especially when the girl I talked to wasn't even upset about me telling him. She herself said she didn't see why he'd want me to not talk to her and so on. It was a mess, and it was instant and shocking. I cried.. I tried to reason with him. He wouldn't have it and told me to go away and a lot of other insulting painful things. So, I went. And I am doing okay. I typed all of that without a tear, even reliving all of it. I think part of why is because I'm honestly a little pissed that he could just cast me off over something that should have been trivial that was blown way out of proportion. I'm sure he sees it in a completely different way and that's fine. I know he sees it as my trust issues, and me breaching his trust and going behind his back (which to me makes no sense when I told him everything I knew and did.). I know what my intentions were, I know how deep my devotion was and I know I put up with a lot of stuff other girls wouldn't and will not in the future. A friend of mine told me that I sacrificed my happiness for his. And for a while I didn't know what she meant. Now, I do. I agreed to sharing to keep him happy and with me. I agreed to going vanilla so he would be okay, even though I need that dominance. There are so many other examples.. I gave everything, even my happiness and near the end some of my sanity. Every bit of me. And all of that kind of built up in my mind to help me through this. I am sorry you had to go through something similar though. It hurts and it fucking sucks even if you can manage to get pissy over it. But then again I thrive on pissy :)

2. "My question is: do you find men with piercings hot?"

In general.. absolutely. I love piercings on guys.. and on girls. I have a guy friend that has the center of his bottom lip pierced and I routinely purr at him. And yes, he is the same guy I had the dream about.

3. "You mention having curly hair. How do you take care of it and how curly is it? Mine is curly and I can't seem to find a routine that works without frizzing my hair out."

Well, as for how curly it is :

It's curly. As for how I take care of it... my routine goes as follows :

1. Shampoo with a sulfate free shampoo.. if it has argon oil then bonus. It really does help. It keeps your hair clean, but without the sulfates it doesn't strip your hair of the natural oils quite as badly as a standard shampoo does. I know loreal has a sulfate free shampoo. I use this brand and I love it.

2. When showering shampoo first thing, then condition and leave it on for the rest of the shower as mini deep condition.

3. Deep condition now and then.

4. When getting out of the shower I use a 100% cotton towel on my hair. Normal towels tend to cause a bit of breakage especially with curly hair. If you don't want to buy new towels use a t-shirt from the laundry bin. If I'm not drying my hair I just brush it out.. yes.. brush. I know curly hair is supposed to use wide tooth combs but if you look at that picture.. my hair is long and thick as fuck. I'd be there for hours trying to comb my hair. Once brushed I add in this lotion.

5. If I am drying it I use this, after brushing. Then I split my hair in two.. like you would if you were putting in pig tails. Doing one side at a time slowly separate the curls. Just grab a tiny, curl sized chunk of hair at a time and either twist it around your finger, or twirl it. Just do something to define the curls. It takes a minute at first but once you get good at it it goes quickly. Once your whole head is done use a diffuser, flip your head upside down and take a small section of hair at a time, lower it down on the diffuser and lift the diffuser up making sure all the curls from that section stay on it and place it against your skull. Only dry the hair for about a minute each section, and keep going until your whole head is done. If your hair isn't dry after that one minute per section time frame.. then do it again. Just don't scorch your hair or your scalp. I'd say only dry it about 90% of the way and let the rest go naturally so it gets it's chance to curl on it's own. Once done I use a little bit of this just to get rid of the frizz.

6. Finally.. just accept that your hair is curly and will do whatever the fuck it wants :) I've given up on controlling it. But minimizing the amount of time you use your dryer helps. So if you can skip days do it. If not.. deep condition more.