Thursday, May 30, 2013

{Teen World} What Kind of Mom Do You Have?

My daughter was reading the following article from a teen mag a day ago. Read on, while I figure out which mom I am ;)

Not all moms are created equal!
And that is a good thing because you're not "just like everyone else" either.

But the tricky thing about most mother-daughter relationships, especially in the teenage years and onward, is that even though you love each other, you just can't seem to understand each other.

Inspired by countless movies I have seen of mother-daughter relationships, below is a sort of an easy-reference guide to finding out what kind of mom you have and how you can use your knowledge to improve your relationship with her and your relationship with other people.

Take note that some moms will perfectly fit just one personality; other moms might be a combination of up to three personality types.

The Stressed, Overworked Mom

She almost always says:"I never have time to rest!"

She reminds you of: Donna Sheridan in "Mamma Mia!"

When she was a teen: Your mom was the friend everyone could always count on. The problem is she was never really sure who to turn to when she needed help.

Why she's a cool mom: She'll do anything to make your life happier and more comfortable. And it's not just you. She will help anyone who asks for a favor. She's just so nice and accommodating!

What's not so cool: Because she always says yes to requests and favors, she's chronically tired and always complaining that she needs a break.

How to deal: Tell her, "Let me do something for you, Mom." and really mean it. Get your siblings to chip in and send Mom off to a spa for a whole day of royal pampering, then surprise her when she gets home with a spotlessly clean house and chore-free kitchen.

How she helps you: She shows you the value of sacrifice, especially if it's for the people you love. This allows you to be more generous with others. Just be careful not to burn out-and treat yourself to a spa day once in a while too!

The Perfectionist Mom

She almost always says: "Everything must be perfect."She reminds you of: Bree Hodge in Desperate Housewives

When she was a teen: She had to become an adult too fast and didn't get a chance to be a kid. She often felt she had high standards to live up to. Now, she still applies those standards to herself and her loved ones.

Why she's a cool mom: Your friends are always impressed by your magazine-cover-worthy house, your card-catalogued book and CD collections, and your mom's gourmet cooking.What's not so cool: You often feel like you can't do anything right compared to her-like you're the one clumsy klutz in her perfect world.How to deal: She'll never tell you, but she actually feels trapped by her own high standards. Help her loosen up by assuring her when something she's done is good enough, and be generous with your compliments (especially when she thinks she's messed up!)How she helps you: You get a special kind of satisfaction when you know you've given something your best effort, and people are surprised and honored to know you consider them worthy of that. That's a gift you've gotten from your mom!

The Artistic Mom

She often says: "Aww, isn't this just the cutest thing?"She reminds you of: Connie Torres in "Camp Rock"When she was a teen: She probably had few close friends, and never really felt like she fit in with other kids. Eventually she discovered her own talents, and later created her own rules for what happiness should be.Why she's a cool mom: She consistently surprises you, challenges stereotypes, and teaches you through example how to be comfortable in your own skin.What's not so cool : Her attraction to the unexpected can either: a) put you in strange situations, b) send her into places of high emotional drama or c) both.How to deal: You might need to ground your mom in reality sometimes, and show her how certain decisions she makes affect you and the entire family. She's the type of mom who will actually listen to a teenage daughter.How she helps you: Her artistic side helps you form you own sense of style at an early age - as well as your distinct individuality. Many guys find this independent-mindedness appealing, so all you have to do is keep their interest.

The Forever 21 Mom

She often says:"Age is just a number."She reminds you of : Regina George's mom in "Mean Girls"When she was a teen: There was so much she wanted to do, but too little time to do it! Always excited by challenges, she resisted being told what she could and could not do.Why she's a cool mom: On the outside her body is youthful, and inside, she's young at heart. She really gets the stage you're in, and you can probably talk to her about anything.What's not so cool: She borrows your clothes, your makeup, your iPhone...and sometimes your friends. Depending on how much your friends like her, it can range from embarrassing to irritating.How to Deal: Celebrate the fact that you have a mom who can listen to your side of the story without judgment, and use this wisely when you tell her how you feel about the things she does that make you uncomfortable.How she helps you: She redefines expectations about what "growing old" should be like-and her version is exciting! She knows that you can always go after new dreams or continue reaching for old ones, and that you can always start whenever and wherever you are.

The All-Knowing Mom

She often says: "I know what you are going through."She reminds you of: Dr. Tess Coleman in Freaky FridayWhen she was a teen: She had a tendency to over-analyze and over-think everything, but prided herself on making well-informed decisions.Why she's a cool mom: She reads books on how to relate with teenagers, and you know she tries to be interested in what's happening to your life.What's not so cool: Sometimes she just seems to classify your problems to one big drawer called "teen angst," and doesn't give you enough credit for the decisions you make.How to deal: Be glad your mom is interested in your life, but lead her away from her "theories" and show her more of your "real world". Grab opportunities for one-on-one talks with her. Show her how you can both learn from each other-she'll love you more for it!How she helps you: Although experience is better than theory, your mom shows you how finding the right information can help prepare you for the important experiences in life. It can even empower you to bring the best out of your life right now!

The Driven Mom

She often says:"Failure is not an option!"She reminds you of : Tina Harwood in Ice PrincessWhen she was a teen: She was encouraged to excel by her own parents. And because the experience made her a better and stronger person, she thinks it's what's best for you, too!Why she's a cool mom: She's a workaholic who wants to be the best. She expects the same 200% commitment from you and won't understand your need for anything else.How to deal: Your mom is used to ignoring emotions by busying herself with work. Hang in there, build up your emotional strength, and tell her the truth she needs to hear. Your relationship might get strained for a while, but your show of strength will soon gain her respect.How she helps you: Your mom's personality teaches you to go after what you want, and to not pretend to be less than who you are just to make a guy feel better. And that's always attractive to the right kind of guy.

The Team Player Mom

She often says:"Just wait till your father gets home."She reminds you of: Edna Turnblad in HairsprayWhen she was a teen: She loved being part of a team. She liked playing by the rules and knowing what she was allowed to do before taking any kind of action.Why she's a cool mom: She looks to your dad as your family's leader, and shows him the kind of active support that creates consistency and harmony in your family.What's not so cool: She's often afraid to try new things. Although you hate to admit it, sometimes you wish she were a bit more exciting.How to deal: Depending on your personality, you can either try to help your mom gain the courage to try new things, or be content with the fact that she will never rock the boat. In fact, she will quietly support you in much the same way she supports your dad.How she helps you: Your mom possesses a grace and vulnerability that seems old-fashioned, but once you understand it you'll discover why it can be refreshingly attractive to guys. She helps you realize there's no "war of the sexes" if you can just accept each other's strength.

The Chillax Mom

She often says:"I don't want to get into this right now."She reminds you of: Lily Van Der Woodsen in Gossip GirlWhen she was a teen: She believed (and she still does) that everyone was nice-her parents, old classmates, even her teachers. She never minded going with the flow, and felt that there really wasn't much that was worth getting upset over.Why she's a cool mom: She often lets you have your way, and gives you the money for it too! She doesn't really expect you to tell her what you've been up to, since she thinks you're old enough to be on your own.What's not so cool: Sometimes you wish she'd set firmer rulers and give you more active guidance. Though you both want to believe you're mature enough, you know there's so much you haven't figured out yet.How to deal: Muster enough maturity to know what you need (not just what you want) and tell your mom when you need help, when you need advice, and when you need her to give you firmer limits. Don't worry, she'll never turn dictator on you-she doesn't have it in her.
How she helps you: Your mom's personality helps you become more relaxed about yourself, and about other people. Her calming presence in the midst of problems teaches you to trust in the goodness of others, and to have faith that everything eventually works out for the best.

The Queen Mom

She often says: "I'm right, so do exactly as I say."She reminds you of: Velma Von Tussle in HairsprayWhen she was a teen: She was a natural leader, and she accepted that role because she felt she could really help others stand up for their beliefs.Why she's a cool mom: Teachers and other parents are intimidated and impressed by her-and by extension, you. She naturally assumes leadership positions, whether it is in your subdivision, the PTA or elsewhere.What's not so cool: She often acts like the boss of everyone at home too- you, your siblings, maybe even your dad. This often creates a lot of resentment and confusion.How to deal: Make a habit out of thinking things through, looking at all the options, and making responsible decisions. This will prove to your mom that she can trust your maturity, talk to you as an equal, and maybe even listen to you as well.How she helps you: Your mom helps you understand that a woman's strength comes in many forms. Use her example to discover your own strength-and accept the responsibility that comes with using them.

12 comments
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I couldn't quite put my mom in any category. All I can say is that she's the best mom for a daughter like me. I'm also proud to say we never have those difficult teenage years. I'm the dream daughter lol! No seriously, I don't think my mom ever had a problem with me when I was a teen. It's home and school routine lang sa kin, that is why I never have a problem asking for permission when I do have to go out with friends. :-)