All kids go to the same school!
All kids are 18 years (or 9 solar sweeps) of age or older!
The world is not going to end!

A young man has just awakened in his room. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was eighteen years ago he came into being, it is only today he will become a man!

Haha, Karkat may be a lot of things, but your boyfriend is not one of them.

OK, the truth is your relationship is... complex.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

EB: hey karkat!

CG: OH GREAT.
CG: IT'S JUST THE GUY WHOSE VERY EXISTENCE I WAS DESPERATELY TRYING TO STRAIN FROM THE SPONGY INNARDS OF MY SKULL.
CG: WHAT I REALLY NEEDED TO START THIS DAY OUT CORRECTLY WAS TO CONFRONT THE VERY PUNCHLINE OF THE GRAND JOKE OF MY EXISTENCE,
CG: THE MORONIC, HALF-FORMED MAN-CHILD WHO MANAGED TO WRIGGLE FREE OF HIS MOTHER-HUMAN'S CAVERN THE SAME DAY I EMERGED VICTORIOUS FROM MY TRIALS.
CG: AND HIS INSISTENCE HE REMIND ME OF THIS EMBARRASSING CONNECTION EVERY HUMAN-YEAR.

EB: haha!
EB: happy birthday karkat!
EB: or wiggling day, i guess.

CG: WRIGGLING DAY, ASSHOLE.
CG: AND I KEEP TELLING YOU MY WRIGGLING DAY DOES NOT ACTUALLY TAKE PLACE AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN BIRTHING DAY,
CG: JUST BECAUSE THEY HAPPENED ON THE SAME DAY.

EB: yeah ok I remember.
EB: you are only 9 this year or something.

CG: DAMNIT, A SOLAR SWEEP =/= 2 YEARS.
CG: YOU AREN'T CALCULATING THE EXTRA FEW PERIGEES.

EB: whatever, you are 18 earth years old just like me!
EB: so there! :P

CG: SO YOU ARE FINALLY AN ADULT BY EARTH STANDARDS, HUH?
CG: ARE YOU FINALLY GOING TO MAN UP AND BEG ME TO FUCKING DOMINATE YOUR ASS THE WAY WE BOTH KNOW YOU WANT ME TO?

EB: that
EB: that's a pretty brazen solicitation, karkat!

CG: HOW MANY OF YOUR SILLY EARTH YEARS HAVE WE KNOW EACH OTHER, JOHN?
CG: 5?
CG: 5 YEARS OF YOUR WHINY BULLSHIT,
CG: "I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL KARKAT."
CG: "I DON'T HATE YOU KARKAT."
CG: "WELL, MAYBE I LIKE SOME GUYS MORE THAN IS NORMAL, BUT I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH A DUDE."
CG: "OK ACTUALLY THERE ARE SOME GUYS I WOULD PROBABLY HAVE SEX WITH, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO MARRY A DUDE OR ANYTHING."
CG: "I STILL DON'T HATE YOU KARKAT, I JUST THINK YOU'RE TOTALLY HOT."

EB: i never said that!
EB: and most of those other things i said in confidence to dave.

CG: IT AMUSES ME THAT YOU THINK THERE IS ANY ASPECT OF YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE YOU CAN KEEP SECRET FROM ME.
CG: WE BOTH KNOW I OWN YOU.

CG: I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT ANY MORE.
CG: I'M JUST SAYING THAT AFTER ALL THIS BULLSHIT YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH YOU OWE ME.
CG: AND MAYBE AFTER I GIVE YOU THE ANGRIEST, MOST THOROUGH, AND BEST FUCK OF YOUR PATHETIC LIFETIME,
CG: EFFECTIVELY RUINING THE ACT OF SEXUAL CONGRESS FOR YOU FOREVER,
CG: SOME OF THIS GOGDAMN TENSION WILL DIFFUSE AND I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

EB: oh yes us having sex is going to make our friendship completely less awkward.
EB: and anyway i though you and terezi finally hooked up!

CG: DIFFERENT FUCKING QUADRANT FUCKASS.

EB: that's not was terezi said last week, fuckass!
EB: hehehehe.

CG: OK FIRSTLY: THAT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.
CG: SECONDLY: MAYBE IF I HAD BOTH QUADRANTS FILLED WE WOULDN'T KEEP FLIPPING BACK AND FORTH, OK?

EB: but i don't hate you so how does that work?

CG: IT WORKS BY I HATE YOU MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR US BOTH.
CG: AND ANYWAY YOU'RE ONE TO FUCKING TALK.
CG: YOUR PALE FLIRTATIONS WITH ME ARE SO BLATANT THEY BORDER ON MOLESTATION, AND YOU ALREADY HAVE THAT SMUG NOOK WHIFFER FOR A MORAIL.

EB: dave is my best bro, not my morail!
EB: why do we have this conversation every time we talk?

CG: I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PERVERTED HUMAN PALE-GAMY.
CG: I HAVE A MORAIL TOO NOW, SO BACK THE FUCK OFF.

EB: me back off?
EB: you just propositioned me!
EB: ARGG!
EB: i have to get ready for school.

CG: AND MAYBE AFTER I GIVE YOU THE ANGRIEST, MOST THOROUGH, AND BEST FUCK OF YOUR PATHETIC LIFETIME,
CG: EFFECTIVELY RUINING THE ACT OF SEXUAL CONGRESS FOR YOU FOREVER,
CG: SOME OF THIS GOGDAMN TENSION WILL DIFFUSE AND I CAN GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

let's seee...
if Mom and Dad are hooked up in this then rose and john are probably living together. where jade and dave are depends on the status of their guardians. if they are dead then they would also be living in this house. like some kind of fruity rumpus asshole factory. i am also sure that REEXXX is going to expect us to push our pairings.

anyway, on the way to school give us a summary of the other girls that you consider going out with.

>>6043 I am definitely a passable artist when I try! But yeah, the general idea here is for me not to spent forever agonizing over each drawing. I will spend more time on the more important illustrations (more important = sexier), but ultimately these are all going to be pretty loose. Making clean lineart is one of the most time consuming and boring parts of these digital pieces, so I plan on skipping that step here in favor of churning out a crap-ton more.

As far as the sibling situation goes, I will probably explain that. For now I will only say that Mom Lalonde and Dad Egbert are dating, they are not married. They are pretty serious though.

>>6044 Hehe, all the kids in the same house would be a fruity rumpus all right. Can you imagine if Bro Strider were also in the same house? I am basically LMAO thinking about it over here.

Also: hell yes push your pairings. This whole mess is just a back-asswards way of taking requests, really. If I seem bias towards John/ Karkat it is only because Karkat is hella fun to write. I will definitely work in some Rose/ Kanaya and some het too if people want it, but hammering their (Rose and Kanaya's I mean) dialog out is going to be rough!

OK, enough rambling from me, I am out. I will update when I get off work this afternoon.

Unfortunately I came home from work a lot more tired that I thought. So, no Kan/Rose interaction tonight (but definitely later). Instead you get some John derping about gurls.

>John: Go to school. On the way to school give us a summary of the other girls that you consider going out with.

After grabbing a pancake and rushing out the door you start mentally going through all the girls you know your age as you make the trek to Sexytiems High.

Besides Rose the only other human girl you know is Jade, who is like your cousin or half-sister or step half-aunt or something. You only recently found this out, but it should have come as no surprise. The two of you are practically identical! The resemblance is even closer since your orthodontist got done correcting your overbite.

Terezi says that Karkat not-so-secretly thinks that's hot. Sometimes you think you agree! Other times you think the idea is kind of gross. Finding out someone you've known for a long time is related you sure is weird.

That leaves you with the half-dozen troll girls you know. First is Vriska. She flirts with you a lot, but she kind of freaks you out. She SAYS she hasn't murdered anyone since leaving Alternia, but she is still really scary sometimes. Almost everyone thinks she's a huge bitch, and even you are often shocked at how callous she can be. Despite that, you still get along really well.

There is also Terezi, but she is with Karkat. Even if she wasn't, you think your best bro Dave has the hots for her.

Karkat says if you ever even think of fucking her without his permission he will literally kill you. He actually said that, in those words. You have no idea what that is supposed to mean.

Nepeta seems like a nice girl, and she is pretty cute. You don't know her that well though. She tends to be way too friendly some days then weirdly cool on others. Mostly you only know her because she is friends with Rose, Terezi, and Karkat.

Kanaya seems like a really cool girl. She is really distant and kind of cold, but you can always count on her if you need help with something. Rose and her are pretty close.

You don't know much about Aradia. She is seems really friendly, but it is hard to get her alone. She is really popular with the boys!

All you know about Feferi is that she is extremely enthusiastic about basically everything.

Dave is your oldest and closest friend. He is a devout cool kid, and can be kind of an insufferable prick. You are always around to bring him back down to earth when he gets too full of himself though. Which is several times a day, pretty much everyday. It's big job, but someone has to do it.

Rose helps.

Anyway, he is totally popular with the ladies, and really knows how to rock a suit. He is also probably the only guy at school who does not look completely stupid in the school uniform. Even the jacket (which you are currently not wearing because it is awful in basically every way). Yep, he is a good looking specimen. You would not mind being more like him.

You would also not mind having sex with him. You know, just a couple of times. For funzies.

Kanaya: Still Waiting For John To Show Up
Rose: Yes. I am beginning to think it's a futile effort, however. He simply refused to arrive before the bell, despite my best efforts.
Kanaya: You Would Think He Would Have Some More Shame
Kanaya: Being Late Almost Every Day Is One Thing But Dragging You Down With Him Is A Little Rude
Rose: I doubt he means it. He's just a little... distracted.
Rose: Sometime it seems as if he is getting fed a series of commands of various levels of practicality and it takes him time to sort through them.
Kanaya: You Mean He Is In Constant State Of Resisting Following One Of Many Idiotic Orders Issued From The Depths Of His Subconscious
Kanaya: I Think I May Know The Phenomenon To Which You Are Referring
Rose: I get the feeling Karkat occasionally suffers for this affliction. Only it manifests itself more as sporadic bouts of rage rather than confusion.
Kanaya: I Believe Nearly Everything Results In Sporadic Bouts of Rage When It Comes To Karkat

Rose: Oh, hello Aradia. Did Kanaya just go inside?
Aradia: yes she just went past
Aradia: the final bell is g0ing to g0 0ff in 3 minutes
Aradia: my first class is 0nly 1 minute fr0m this d00r but y0urs is at least 2.3 and kanays's is 2.7
Rose: No matter, in the time I have spent attending this institution I have studied the habits of it's instructions thoroughly. No such study was needed, however, to discern that Ms. Black is always two minutes late on Fridays.
Rose: And when she does arrive she is a lot more forgiving than normal. I suspect some days she may even be a bit intoxicated.
Aradia: well g00d luck then!
Aradia: i have to get to class

>Bro: Be the teacher with a laughably terrible disguise>Teacher: what who is bro i am your teacher here have a smuppet>Bro: use smuppets as teaching instructors>Mr. Garrison style

All of that is going to be difficult seeing as how you are currently the PE teacher! Actually that's a lie, you could be in two places at once if you wanted, but Dave's first period teacher is Ms. Black and she sort of freaks you out.

Damnit, you are going to teach this guy to eat a pussy purroperly it it kills you both!

This is your week to 'take care of' Eridan. Basically you and Karkat have been taking alternate weeks keeping him out of trouble ever since Feferi dumped him. You alternate partially because he is truly unbelievable amounts of tiresome, but mostly because you both already have moirails. It is kind of a hard thing to make work without your moirail feeling cheated on! You wouldn't even bother except Karkat is extremely concerned about avoiding anymore high-blood related violent incidences and was wearing himself quite thin trying to be everyone's moirail at once! Naturally he went to you for advice because you are pretty much the best there is at moirallegianceing, and naturally you decided to help him out.

Oh, Aradia, she is the epitome of grace and charm, it is truly a mistake of fate that she was born with anything less than the highest of bloods.

And yet, her mind is a marvel of perversity. Every time you think she had concocted a scenario that has brought you to the absolute nadir of respectability, neigh, the nadir of basic decency, she somehow reaches a level lower.

SHIT! I just now realized that I wrote over the spot where I originally was going to put a "15 minutes in the past" note. Basically starting with Terzi blowing Karkat on we have back-tracked in time to stuff going on while John was chatting with Karkat this morning, before walking to school and talking with Vriska.

>>6399
I will probably explain this maybe. Think 'maximum security orphanage'. How else are you gong to transplant troll-kids from Alternia w/o getting a bunch of people killed?

>Jade: Be the only sane woman at this school who realizes the rampant sex and weird costumes are probably above average for a highschool. Also, what is up with the name? It's hard, being from out of the country and having an outsider's perspective. It's hard and everyone has sex but you.

Apropos of nothing, I had a dream last night that involved Feferi face-fucking the shit out of Tavros. Is that weird? I was thinking of including it here, but it doesn't make a lot of sense relationship-wise and also I just did a cunnilingus scene.

Anyway, you have plenty of time to think it over (and perhaps try to get your way with delicious bribes??), I had blood drawn today and my arm hurts too much to draw.

Just FYI: John is still a virgin in this AU. The plan is for him to loose his V-card during the course of the day. Perhaps multiple times by multiple definitions of virginity! As far as the relative sexual experience of everyone else, I will try and go with whatever you guys want most or whatever fits with the 'story' best as it comes up. Hopefully both those things.

>>6414 The kids' guardians moved them to this planet (Skaia maybe???) for various reasons. They met the trolls and started hanging out because they were all going to the same high school. Jade has been living with John since Dad Egbert discovered they were related and also Jade was being raised by a corpse and a dog, but she acts pretty independently of them (fixes her own breakfast, leaves for school separately when John is being slow, etc). Rose lives with her mom and Dave lives with his brother. All of them are within walking distance of the school, but the orphanage is practically right next door while the human kids have to trek a little bit.

I hope that answers enough questions! Sorry for all the TL;DR in your porn adventure!!