(SFX: FIRE ALARM B.G.) GUARD: Damn it. Now I know they’re doing it on purpose! JANITOR: Who? GUARD: The guys who installed the new fire alarm system. That’s the third time this week the damn things gone off an hour after they quit work. JANITOR: Aren’t you going to call the fire department? GUARD: It is a false alarm. It’s payback for them having to sign in and out. JANITOR: You’re not supposed to use the elevator in a fire. GUARD: There’s no fire, George! And I’m not walking up five floors for a false alarm. JANITOR: Can’t you shut it off here? GUARD: Don’t you think I would if I could? They haven’t connected that circuit yet… on purpose! (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN)

GIBBS: Detective Hanley. HANLEY: Special Agent Gibbs. GIBBS: Thanks for the call. HANLEY: When we ID’d him as NCIS, I assumed you’d want to take the lead. GIBBS: I appreciate that. Who found the body? HANLEY: The janitor and the security guard. They were alerted when a fire alarm went off on the fifth floor. TONY: On our way up. HANLEY: We held off on taking their statements. Thought you’d want to do that.

DUCKY: Oh, Christopher, who did this to you? It’s easier to overcome the gore and inhumanity when you don’t know the victim. But it’s so hard to be detached when it’s one of your own. JASON: Should I start taking photos, Doctor Mallard? DUCKY: Yeah. Work goes on.

CUT TO:

INT. STAIRWELL – DAY

GUARD: I called nine one one and someone left the building from the rear emergency exit, setting off the door alarm. GIBBS: Did the security cameras catch it? GUARD: Um, they’re not installed yet. The building’s being retrofitted with new systems and nothing’s on line. GIBBS: What time did Chr (BEAT) what time did the victim enter the building? GUARD: I don’t remember seeing him come in. GIBBS: Is there another entrance? GUARD: No. He would have had to come through here. GIBBS: How could you not see him? Does this lobby get that busy? GUARD: He could have come in while I was signing construction workers out. GIBBS: I want a copy of their names and a list of the floors they work on. GUARD: Yes, Sir.

CUT TO:

INT. ELEVATOR – DAY

(SFX: CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) GIBBS: The bastard disemboweled him. DUCKY: Yes, but I don’t think that was the cause of death. GIBBS: Is that a bullet wound? DUCKY: Yes. In the neck. Most likely pierced the carotid artery. It was a quick death. He would have bled out in less than a minute. GIBBS: Shouldn’t there be a lot more blood? DUCKY: If he was shot in the elevator. GIBBS: You think it happened topside? DUCKY: That would be my guess. But this… this slashing was done here in the elevator. GIBBS: Rage or ritual, Duck? DUCKY: I don’t know, Jethro. Maybe after I’ve autopsied. GIBBS: Chris asked me for help on a cold case. I was chasing Curtin and didn’t have time. DUCKY: Jethro. GIBBS: He said it could wait. What difference would another day make? DUCKY: Jethro, this is not your fault. GIBBS: It feels like it is, Ducky. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS)(BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS OVER FLASHBACK SCENES) GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) You found a lot of blood.

KATE: (V.O./FILTERED) Whatever happened… it started on the sixth floor.

(SCENE CUT)

KATE: (INTO PHONE) We followed the trail backwards.

(SCENE CUT)

(SFX: GUNSHOT) KATE: (V.O.) Pacci made it to the stairwell… he exited the…

(SCENE CUT)

KATE: (INTO PHONE) …fifth floor

(SCENE CUT)

KATE: (V.O.) …where he pulled the fire alarm… (SFX: FIRE ALARM B.G.)

(SCENE CUT)

KATE: (INTO PHONE) ...before making it to the elevator. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM – NIGHT

TONY: God, Chris was so anal. I borrowed his stapler once. Put it back in the wrong place. Heard about it for days. GIBBS: Give me his keys. KATE: Regs are to carry your weapon from portal to portal. Why’d he leave his here? GIBBS: He was tailing somebody, going from place to place. Didn’t want to stop to identify himself or risk setting off an alarm. TONY: We’ve all done it. Especially with the heavy security these days. GIBBS: I’ll go over his case files. You two check out his house. KATE: Tonight? GIBBS: Yes, tonight! KATE: I’ve just got to make a call. GIBBS: Is there anyone you need to call, DiNozzo? TONY: No, boss. No calls.

CUT TO:

INT. PACCI’S HOUSE – NIGHT

(DOOR OPENS) KATE: Did you know Pacci well? TONY: Softball. Beers after work. That kind of knowing. KATE: When he left this morning, he had no idea we’d be going through his personal effects. TONY: Part of the job. KATE: But you knew him. Don’t you feel like you’re…? TONY: What? KATE: I don’t know… like you’re invading his privacy? TONY: Well, he’s dead, Kate. With his guts slashed open I’d say Chris’ privacy is about as invaded as it’s gonna get.

GIBBS: Did you get the bullet we found last night? ABBY: I already ran it. GIBBS: What time did you get in? ABBY: Four a.m. GIBBS: Thanks, Abs. ABBY: Well, Pacci was family. The slug looks pretty clean. From a three fifty seven. Based on rifling, it came from a Smith and Wesson, model sixty six. GIBBS: Very small and easy to conceal. ABBY: Yeah. I ran a comparison through NIBIN. I got nada. Looks like the gun’s a virgin, but I’ll keep searching. GIBBS: Yeah. Abs, did Pacci ask you to do anything for him recently? ABBY: Not in a while. GIBBS: He was working a cold case. Search the hard drive on his computer. ABBY: You got it.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY

DUCKY: Put this back with the others. GIBBS: What have you found?

DUCKY: Well, as I thought, the bullet tore through the carotid artery. The massive loss of blood while fleeing his attacker was almost instantaneously fatal. GIBBS: The slashing done post-mortem? DUCKY: I believe so. It’s hard to tell for certain. I mean, a three to four inch blade was thrust in here below the sternum and sliced down to here. These two more indiscriminate incisions were done next. GIBBS: Same question, rage or ritual? DUCKY: Well, neither. I think the killer was looking for something. Here. There’s a small foreign object lodged here in the upper alimentary canal. GIBBS: What is that? DUCKY: I was about to find out when you came in. GIBBS: Did Chris swallow this? DUCKY: That would be my guess, Jethro. GIBBS: Ducky, would this be hard to find without an x-ray? DUCKY: Extremely. GIBBS: Especially if an alarm was blaring and the attacker knew that security had been alerted. (MUSIC OVER ACTION/DUCKY REMOVES THE OBJECT) DUCKY: Here we are. GIBBS: What is that? JASON: It’s a memory card, Sir, from a digital camera. DUCKY: Why on Earth would Chris swallow a memory card? GIBBS: He knew he was dying…. and he knew you’d be doing the autopsy. Chris wanted you to find that. Dead man talking, Duck.

(MUSIC UP AND OUT)

MUSIC IN:

INT. NCIS LAB – DAY

ABBY: Obviously they’re surveillance photos. TONY: Ooh, hottie. ABBY: Don’t you think she’s a little bit too old for you, Tony? TONY: No, she’s about my age. ABBY: That’s exactly my point. Um… there’s nothing on the card but candids. Based on the date time stamp they were all taken in the past two days. KATE: I interviewed all the workers. Nobody remembers seeing Pacci or anything unusual. But one of them did find this. He found it at the bottom of the stairwell this morning. GIBBS: Chris’ camera? KATE: NCIS issued. It’s gotta be his. (INTERCUT FLASHBACK SCENE) GIBBS: No memory card. KATE: Nope. MCGEE: Oh, sorry. Sorry I’m five minutes late. I had to park in the visitor’s lot and the guard… GIBBS: Where is it, McGee? (GIBBS GRABS THE BRIEFCASE AND OPENS IT) MCGEE: Special Agent Pacci wanted that ASAP. KATE: What is it?

MCGEE: It’s a civil investigation of an automobile accident in Buford County three years ago. A Naval officer was killed. I read it last night. TONY: I didn’t have breakfast this morning. You don’t mind, do you? MCGEE: No. ABBY: Yes, Tony! Hi, McGee. GIBBS: I remember this case. Lieutenant Commander Voss was under investigation for credit card fraud. He stole over ten million dollars from the Navy. TONY: He the guy that died before they could file charges? GIBBS: Yep. The money was never found. Case went cold. KATE: Why was Pacci working it? GIBBS: Found a lead on the money. It may be her. McGee! TONY: Yes, boss. GIBBS: I want you on this. I’m going to get you T-A-D here. DiNozzo, you take McGee with you. You find out who she is and where she is. TONY: Let’s go, hotshot. ABBY: You need a place to stay? MCGEE: Um…. well…well… TONY: McGee! MCGEE: Coming. (TONY AND MCGEE WALK O.S.) KATE: How’d he die? GIBBS: What? KATE: Lieutenant Commander Voss, how’d he die? He was burned to death?

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY

DUCKY: Why am I looking at a three year old autopsy report? GIBBS: Kate’s idea. Chris had this autopsy pulled, Doc. He must have suspected something was wrong in it. DUCKY: I’d be very surprised if there were, Jethro. This was done by Hugh Putnam. He’s a very competent and thorough M.E. I’ve worked with him before. GIBBS: Check it out anyway. (GIBBS WALKS O.S.) KATE: Please. He’s got to learn to say please. DUCKY: Ah, Christopher, you’ve left us a bit of a mystery. Give me some direction. What should I be looking for in this autopsy report? Hmm?

CUT TO:

INT. PASSAGE WAY – DAY

GRAVES: You know, I already told Special Agent Pacci everything I could remember about Commander Voss. GIBBS: When was that? GRAVES: That would have been Tuesday morning. You know, we get underway in two days. Can’t you get whatever info you need off of Agent Pacci? I can’t tell you any more than I already told him. GIBBS: He was murdered last night, Captain. GRAVES: (BEAT) I’m sorry. GIBBS: You were Lieutenant Commander Voss’ C.O. in Norfolk when he was under investigation.

GRAVES: Yeah, he was my command supply officer. And I’ve got to tell you I was shocked when the credit card fraud was uncovered and he was suspected. KATE: Nobody else had access to the cards? GRAVES: There’s thousands of military and civilian employees who had access to those cards. That’s why he was able to pull it off. KATE: I don’t understand. GRAVES: In order to cut down on the cash disbursed, the D-O-D issues credit cards. A phony company was set up making small charges against a vast number of these accounts, accounts that Commander Voss had approved. GIBBS: How’d he get caught? GRAVES: Well, he didn’t for almost four years. Then he decided to expand his scam to bilk the entire Atlantic Fleet Command. He got over twelve million before finally somebody noticed anything. KATE: What happened to the money? GRAVES: Nobody knows. When Commander Voss died, all he had was savings that were reasonable for a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy, which is why I’m not certain he did it. GIBBS: What did Special Agent Pacci ask you? GRAVES: He didn’t ask me anything about the scandal. All he wanted to know was who Voss had dated. And I didn’t know.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY

(SFX: TONY DRUMS HIS FINGERS) TONY: McGee, it’s not like you. What’s taking so long? MCGEE: I’ve almost got it. TONY: You know, the quicker you get this done, the more quality time you have to spend with a certain tattooed forensic technician of the Goth persuasion. MCGEE: What do you mean by that? TONY: Oh, come on! Abby told me you closed the deal under some pretty hinky circumstances. MCGEE: She told you that? Well, the hinky thing of it – did she tell you that that was her idea? Because, (BEAT) Abby didn’t tell you anything, did she? TONY: A well-trained NCIS Special Agent is good at extracting information. You’ll learn. Focus. (SFX: COMPUTER BEEP TONES) MCGEE: I have her address. TONY: You do? How? MCGEE: Look. Since evidently this is her residence, I used the process of elimination. Quercus Virginia. TONY: Excuse me. MCGEE: That’s a variety of oak tree. TONY: How can you tell? It doesn’t have any leaves on it. MCGEE: I identified the bark. TONY: Of course you did. MCGEE: A search of the registry from the Arboretum Society shows that twenty eight streets were planted with that genus of tree. So I narrowed it down even further. The Department of Public Works says that that Victorian light, circa nineteen oh five, was installed on only seven of those streets. If we look even closer…

TONY: Ah, she’s got great legs. MCGEE: Yes, she does. TONY: You narrowed it down to seven streets. MCGEE: Four of those are eliminated because they don’t have three digit addresses. Of the remaining, only one, according to the U.S. Postal Service… Fortieth Street… has a mailbox in the middle of the block. TONY: Okay, I’ll take it from here, McGee. You look like you could use some coffee. MCGEE: Not really. TONY: I’ll take mine with three sugars and a hazel nut. (SFX: ELEVATOR DINGS/DOORS SLIDE OPEN) TONY: How’d it go? GIBBS: Tell me you have her name, DiNozzo. TONY: Any second, boss. I’ve got an address. I’m running it through the search engines. KATE: How’d you find it? TONY: Process of elimination, actually. Here it is. Amanda Reed. (SFX:COMPUTER BEEP TONES) GIBBS: Background her. Deep as you can go. Come on, Tony. McGee, good work on the address. MCGEE: Oh, thank you, boss. (GIBBS SPITS OUT THE COFFEE) (KATE LAUGHS)

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET – DAY

TONY: (INTO PHONE) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Thanks for that. (TO GIBBS) Well, Kate can’t find any criminal record. In fact, Amanda Reed sounds like an upstanding citizen. Single, real clean TRW. She just bought this townhouse. Paid cash. No mortgage. She… recently was accepted to the Potomac Country Club as a member. GIBBS: I’m impressed. TONY: Do you want me to do the interview? GIBBS: No. TONY: I can work her, boss. GIBBS: Chris was keeping his distance for a reason. Until we find out why, we do the same. TONY: Why? GIBBS: This photograph was taken from up there. Excuse me, are you the building manager? NORM: No. I got a thing for sweeping sidewalks. GIBBS: Is your apartment still for rent? NORM: Are you guys… together? TONY: (LAUGHS) No, it’s not what you think. GIBBS: NCIS. NORM: Oh. The guy the other day showed me a badge just like that. GIBBS: Did he rent it? NORM: Nah, he just took some pictures inside and said he’d get back to me. GIBBS: We’d like to see the apartment. NORM: To take pictures or to rent it? GIBBS: To rent. NORM: Oh, all right. GIBBS: We’re going to pick up where Chris left off. Stake out time. TONY: (SHOUTS) Yes!

(CUT TO BLACK)

FADE IN:

INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY

TONY: I haven’t been on a stakeout for a long time. I’m looking forward to this. KATE: Figures. You’re a voyeur. You like spying on people. TONY: And this is legal. KATE: Would you be as excited if the mark was a three hundred pound bald guy? TONY: Nope. GIBBS: What’d you find out? KATE: No vehicle registered in Amanda Reed’s name. She doesn’t even have a driver’s license. But a lot of people don’t have cars in the city. GIBBS: DiNozzo? TONY: A connect between the dead Commander Voss and Amanda Reed. I ran a title search on the townhouse she just bought. It’s too much to be a coincidence. GIBBS: Are you going to spit it out, or do I have to waste my coffee on your head. TONY: The house was in the Voss family for three generations. The Commander’s father lost it in a bankruptcy in seventy nine. I got a call in to the real estate agent who sold it to Amanda Reed. Waiting to hear back from her. GIBBS: Kate and I will take the first shift. You and McGee will relieve us at nineteen hundred. TONY: Yeah. GIBBS: Problemo? TONY: Well…

KATE: You really want to do that to McGee? Special Agent Bligh here is going to eat him alive. TONY: McGee looks up to me as a mentor. KATE: Uh! GIBBS: You want to be stuck in a cramped apartment with DiNozzo? Be my guest. KATE: On the other hand, it’ll help McGee build character. MCGEE: All set, boss. The secured phone line is installed and the surveillance equipment is loaded in the van. GIBBS: Good. MCGEE: Special Agent Pacci filled out a requisition for the same equipment and never picked it up. GIBBS: Yeah. Yeah, I know. Let’s go, Kate. TONY: You ever been on a stakeout before, McGee? MCGEE: No, but I’m looking forward to the experience. KATE: Behave yourself. (SFX: TONY LAUGHS)

PAT STONE: I’ve had quick sales before, but nothing like this. She wrote a check for the full asking price, no contingencies, and we closed in fifteen days. TONY: And you told all that to Special Agent Pacci? PAT STONE: Yeah. He first came in two or three years ago, wanted to be notified if the townhouse was ever listed. I thought he wanted to buy. TONY: Couldn’t afford it, so you called him when it went back on the market. PAT STONE: Oh, well, the truth is I forgot. After it sold I remembered. I called. I thought he was going to be upset, but when I told him how Miss Reed had made the buy he sounded a little excited. TONY: And did you get to know her very well? PAT STONE: No, not really. I usually get to look at the client’s loan aps and uh... you know, tax returns. But this was such a clean deal, I didn’t have to bother with any of that. TONY: Well, thanks. You’ve been a big help. PAT STONE: Sure. Say, why isn’t Special Agent Pacci here? TONY: I’m filling in for him on the case. Thanks again. PAT STONE: Do you want to buy a house?

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

KATE: Anything? GIBBS: Nope. Abby was right. Chris didn’t leave much of a computer trail. He was surfing the website of a Bangkok visitor’s bureau, but I cannot figure out why. (KNOCK ON DOOR) KATE: I’ll get it. (DOOR OPENS) TONY: Miss me? KATE: What’s that? TONY: Dinner. I’m trying to broaden Special Agent McGee’s palette. KATE: It stinks! GIBBS: What did you two find out? TONY: Well apparently Chris knew that Amanda had a thing for the Voss family home. He’s been keeping an eye on it. GIBBS: What’s Amanda Reed’s link to Voss? MCGEE: I researched Amanda Reed’s prior residences. Her last known address was Virginia Beach… TONY: Which is eight miles from Norfolk where Lieutenant Commander Voss was stationed. MCGEE: Before that she lived in Jacksonville, Florida. TONY: While he was at Mayport Naval Station… ten miles away. MCGEE: Prior to that, Amanda Reed lived in La Mesa, California…

TONY: Just outside of San Diego while he pulled duty at Coronado. KATE: Well, they knew each other. GIBBS: Sounds like more than knew to me. TONY: Good work, huh, boss? GIBBS: Tomorrow’s garbage day. I’m sure she’ll take her trash out tonight. Go through it. TONY: Right. KATE: And by the way, Tony, there’s only one bathroom. It’s clean now. I want to find it that way when I get back. TONY: What do you think I’m going to do? KATE: I’ve seen you fire your weapon. I don’t trust your aim. TONY: I love this. It’s just like the movie “Stakeout.” MCGEE: There was a movie “Stakeout?” TONY: How old are you? It was a classic. Richard Dreyfuss and one of Martin Sheen’s kids. KATE: Emilio Estevez. MCGEE: Well how can Estevez be a Sheen? KATE: Martin Sheen is not a Sheen. TONY: It was cool. There were two teams, just like us, trading shifts, pulling practical jokes on each other. KATE: I’m warning you, DiNozzo. Don’t even go there. (SFX: TONY UNPACKS BAG) TONY: We gotta go there. Any ideas, McGee? MCGEE: No! TONY: Well, don’t worry. I’ve got plenty. MCGEE: Do you realize that any prank we pull on Kate we’ll also be pulling on Gibbs? TONY: That’s a problem. MCGEE: Unless… nah.

TONY: What? MCGEE: Well, I was thinking, since she is expecting something, maybe we should do nothing. TONY: That’s brilliant! MCGEE: It’ll drive her nuts trying to figure out what we did that we didn’t do. TONY: You’re all right, McGee. Have a pastrami.

CUT TO:

INT. AUTOPSY ROOM – DAY

DUCKY: Jethro, I didn’t expect you back this late. I was just about to call you. GIBBS: Did you find something off in that autopsy report? DUCKY: No, I didn’t. It was detailed and complete. As I expected the M.E.’s transcript was impeccable. There was a full complement of photos, and the lab work-ups were everything that I would have asked for. GIBBS: Who identified Voss’ body? DUCKY: Nobody. They used a DNA match as the body was badly burned in the automobile crash. GIBBS: Ducky, would Buford County still have the tissue samples from the case in their evidence locker DUCKY: I would assume so. I’ll check. Why? GIBBS: Have Abby re-run the DNA. DUCKY: Right. I heard the Director asked you to speak at Pacci’s memorial service. GIBBS: Yeah, I declined. DUCKY: Oh, Gibbs. GIBBS: I can’t do it, Duck. I wouldn’t feel right. I’ll see you there.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Yes, but I don’t understand why I need approval from the Historical Committee. (ON CAMERA/FILTERED) I just want to paint my front door and my window trim. TONY: No, no, no. Where’d you go? Where’d you go? AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Yeah, all right. All right. You know what? I think this is a lot of nonsense. TONY: Don’t put on a shirt. It’s hot out. AMANDA: (FILTERED) I’m tired of fighting with you guys. (V.O.) Where do you want me to send the color samples? TONY: I’m falling in love. AMANDA: (V.O./FILTERED) Okay, I’ll mail them today. TONY: Are you finished yet? MCGEE: Yeah. And all I’ve learned is she loves bananas and mangoes. Also uses every beauty product sold on cable TV. TONY: Maybe she’s older than she looks. (SFX: AEROSOL SPRAY) TONY: How old do you think she is? MCGEE: I don’t know. Thirties? (MUSIC OVER ACTION/CAMERA ON AMANDA) TONY: Oh, yeah. I need some fresh air. (TONY HURRIES O.S.)

CUT TO:

INT. NCIS LAB – DAY

DUCKY: Abigail. ABBY: Donald. You look very snappy today. DUCKY: I’m going to Christopher Pacci’s memorial service. ABBY: Oh. DUCKY: I wanted to drop off these blood and tissue samples first. ABBY: Who’s the unlucky donor? DUCKY: The victim of a car crash three years ago. ABBY: Lieutenant Commander Voss. DUCKY: Gibbs wants you to test the DNA. ABBY: Were the original results questionable? DUCKY: No, they were as positive as it gets and certified by a reputable lab. ABBY: So Gibbs wants me to retest it. DUCKY: That he does. ABBY: DNA does not lie, Duckman. DUCKY: Tell that to Gibbs. That’s an unusual surveillance technique. ABBY: Well, DiNozzo is an unusual agent. McGee…

(BEGIN RADIO INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) …are you watching this?

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: Watching what?

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: What the hell is DiNozzo up to? MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) Well, he’s not here. ABBY: No. He’s across the street…

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: (V.O./FILTERED) …talking to the lady.

(END RADIO INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

EXT. APARTMENT – VIDEO POV

TONY: (ON MONITOR) I live down on Canal and I just… I’ve been trying to paint my door. And the Historical Society has given me nothing but grief. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) I know. I just got off the phone with them. I just want to paint my door and my trim and they’re making it virtually impossible. TONY: (ON MONITOR) That’s total nonsense. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) You know, those are my exact words. Hi, I’m Amanda. TONY: (ON MONITOR) Hi. I’m Stringfellow. AMANDA: (ON MONITOR) You’re kidding, right? TONY: (ON MONITOR) Well, five generations of Stringfellows, you know, what do you do?

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: Stringfellow?

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: It’s so he won’t forget it.

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: You should.

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: Huh?

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: Look, DiNozzo is your partner. In the world according to Gibbs, you share the blame if anything goes hinky.

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: Oh, geez. Okay. Ah… what do I do here, Abs?

(SCENE CUT)

ABBY: Don’t volunteer anything. Only answer questions asked. And whatever you do, do not lie, because Gibbs is like Santa Claus. He knows if you’ve been naughty.

(END INTERCUTS)

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

(DOOR OPENS) TONY: How was the memorial service? KATE: The Director gave a nice eulogy.

GIBBS: Did anything happen? MCGEE: Nope! Not a thing, boss. TONY: Very quiet. MCGEE: Very. GIBBS: Is that why you seem so anxious, Special Agent McGee? MCGEE: Me? KATE: What did you do to him? TONY: Nothing. KATE: This place looks too clean. (SFX: CELL PHONE RINGS) KATE: Excuse me. (INTO PHONE) Hi. GIBBS: Where is she now? TONY: Uh… in the back of the house. In the kitchen. GIBBS: Did you check her trash? MCGEE: Uh, yes, boss. And nothing unusual. GIBBS: Have it sent to Abby for prints. KATE: (INTO PHONE) I had a great time, too. Oh, I can’t. I can’t tonight, Dwayne. But I promise I’ll make it up to you this weekend. I’ll call you back. (SFX: HANGS UP PHONE) KATE: DiNozzo! TONY: Sounds like Dwayne’s in love. KATE: Permission to shoot him? GIBBS: Mm-hmm. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Hey Gibbs, are you there? GIBBS: Yeah, Abs. What’s up? ABBY: (ON MONITOR) You rule! GIBBS: I know, but remind me why. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) For wanting the DNA retested. GIBBS: You can’t have the results yet. ABBY: (ON MONITOR) Oh, no. I didn’t run it.

KATE: Geo-tech Lab is your next right. I just thought you might… I don’t know.. (MUSIC OVER ACTION) (SFX: CAR TIRES SCREECH) KATE: …miss it. GIBBS: What I’m missing is talking to that tech who DNA certified that body was Lieutenant Commander Voss. KATE: Well, he’s not listed, so maybe he no longer works at Geo-tech. GIBBS: Call him and ask. KATE: (INTO PHONE) Joshua Lurie, please. (TO GIBBS) Do you think they made a clerical error?

MCGEE: Where did you come up with a name like Stringfellow? TONY: Airwolf. MCGEE: Never heard of it. TONY: You never watched Stakeout, never heard of Airwolf. What do you do on the weekends? And don’t say party. MCGEE: I… I write. TONY: Write? MCGEE: Yeah, I try to write mysteries. TONY: (LAUGHS) That’s funny. MCGEE: I never should have told you. TONY: No no no! No no no! It’s good! That’s good stuff! We’re bonding. Hey uh… where do you get your ideas? MCGEE: Well, uh… cases like this one. Guy steals millions of dollars, makes it look like he’s dead, has his girlfriend buy the old family home. TONY: Hmm. Isn’t that plagiarism? MCGEE: I… I don’t think so.

TONY: I’d love to see the return address. I’m going to get a look at that package. (TONY RUSHES O.S.) TONY: No, no! Tony, I don’t think that’s a good idea! Tony! (DOOR OPENS/ CLOSES)

TONY: Ah well, I could… I could say that I’m your new mailman. AMANDA: Which I wouldn’t believe. TONY: All right. How about uh… I just wanted to see you again. AMANDA: Do you like espresso? TONY: Oh yeah, I love espresso. AMANDA: Come on in.

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

MCGEE: Oh, Tony. Don’t do it. Come on.

CUT TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM – DAY

KATE: Oh, my god. I can’t believe it. Hamilton Voss and Josh Lurie graduated from the same high school in the same year. GIBBS: That clinches it. Voss is alive. He faked his own death in an accident where his old schoolmate would make the DNA I.D. KATE: For which Voss killed him? GIBBS: Yeah, why not? Voss killed whoever really burned in that car crash. Murdered Chris when he found out he was tailing him. He caught Chris tailing him. Maybe he’s on to us. (TELEPHONE BEEP TONES)

CUT TO:

INT. APARTMENT – DAY

TONY: (ON MONITOR) Anyway, we made it into the final four. I was playing for Ohio State. We got beat by UCLA. (SFX: PHONE RINGS B.G.) MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Special Agent McGee. (BEGIN TELEPHONE INTERCUTS)

(SCENE CUT)

GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Put DiNozzo on.

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) Ah… uh, he can’t come to the…

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) ….phone right now, boss. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Where is he, in the head?

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (INTO PHONE) He’s across the street in the…

(SCENE CUT)

MCGEE: (V.O./FILTERED) … townhouse with her. GIBBS: (INTO PHONE) Well what the hell is he doing there, McGee?

GIBBS: (V.O./FILTERED)...bonehead. And if he is packing a three fifty seven and a knife in his purse, he killed Chris. (END TELEPHONE INTERCUTS) AMANDA: Oh, I am famished. Aren’t you hungry? TONY: I lost my appetite. AMANDA: Hmm. What’s wrong? TONY: I don’t know where to begin. AMANDA: Is this the same man I left sitting here a few minutes ago? TONY: I don’t know. Are you the same woman? AMANDA: Oh, yes…I… TONY: Open your purse. (SFX: GUNSHOT) (MUSIC OVER ACTION/ AMANDA LEAPS FROM THE TABLE SHOUTING) MCGEE: (SHOUTS) Federal agent! Move! (SFX: MEN ALL FIGHT/TABLES CRASHING) TONY: (SHOUTS) Stop him! Stop him! MCGEE: (SHOUTS) No, stop her! (AMANDA RUNS INTO GIBBS) GIBBS: His name was Special Agent Chris Pacci. And he was a friend. (MUSIC UP) (SFX: GUNSHOT) (AMANDA FALLS TO THE GROUND) KATE: Federal agents! So are those two! Let them go! MCGEE: Let me go. KATE: He didn’t have a chance. Why’d he try?

MUSICAL BRIDGE TO:

INT. SQUAD ROOM – NIGHT

KATE: Why are you going through everything before you box it? GIBBS: Force of habit. I don’t want his family getting an unpleasant surprise. ABBY: That reminds me of The Crying Game. MCGEE: Don’t know it. ABBY: It was such a cool flick. TONY: Abby, could you pick some other movie, please? ABBY: Oh, um… Victor, Victoria. TONY: That was a girl, pretending to be a guy, pretending to be a girl. ABBY: Right. TONY: Yeah, that one’s okay. MCGEE: You gotta hand it to Commander Voss. In three years he hid in plain sight as a woman. KATE: Well, he wasn’t a woman yet. The surgery was scheduled for next month in Bangkok. ABBY: Getting your plumbing turned outside in is so…. TONY: Hinky? ABBY: No, no. Way beyond hinky. It’s…. KATE: Speaking of way beyond hinky, Tony. TONY: Okay. All right, give it to me, Kate. I can take it. KATE: What was it like… tonguing a guy? TONY: Forget it. I can’t take it.