THE BIG QUESTION: Friends With Benefits…Does It Ever Work?

For some time now, this question has been running through my disturbed mind. Well, plenty of things boggle my mind especially those that have to do with male/female inter-relations.

A male friend of mine dated this lady a few years ago and as a couple they were fairly atrocious.

However, despite their problems as a couple, they had no problems in the bedroom department; this led to them deciding to maintain the s*xual side of their relationship, as it was the only element that seemed to work properly – apparently good stuff like that in the bedroom is hard to find and they weren’t willing to throw it away!

They managed to keep up their “friends-with-benefits” routine for quite a while and it seemed to have been working for them, that is, until he (my poor friend) fell for her more than even before.

This breaks all the conventional rules and stereotyped ideas, and shows you that men can actually be just as bad as women when it comes to making emotional attachments.

Needless to say the good s*x ceased to exist after that development: she wasn’t prepared to offer him more than the usual banging. At the same time my friend was very aware of how unfair it was on him to be so close to someone he had feelings for knowing that nothing could ever develop from it.
The big question is, does friend or friends with benefits ever work?

Of course it works sometimes! There are a few urban relationship myths knocking around that will tell you this is a wonderful idea and that it could lead to the best ‘banging’ of your life, and I can’t dispute those myths. But does it last for long as both partners would want?

Friends with benefits can be a messy business, is it worth it?

I’m not sure I can answer that, all I know is that it’s probably not something I would try for fear of that uncomfortable eye contact across with the friend whose heart I accidentally break. Or for fear that I may fall in love when the other party just wants to keep having the benefits and nothing more….

So what is your take on this, do you think that friends with benefits ever work? Have you ever considered or entered in such an arrangement before? Have you been asked for that before? What is your experience?

I’m sure you guys have had this topic before but to answer your question. Yes this arrangement can work, but you have to lay down the rules and constantly remind the other person and yourself of the rules if things start to change and one of you starts to fall in love. When two people start to become intimate its usually only a matter of time before feelings get hurt and that’s why friends with benefits rarely works.

Afrak

@Dr. Miyagi, doctor you sure it has been written before.

Dr. Miyagi

@Afrak,go through the previous topics and you will see it

Afrak

@Dr. Miyagi, yoo mati

lola

@Dr. Miyagi, eeiii doctor you dii3 everywhere i turn you there

Dr.Miyagi

Hahahaha lol I guess I’m using my GPS to fins you lol@lola,

lola

@Dr.Miyagi, saa, how you doing love?

Dr. Miyagi

@lola,I’m good my dear, hope you too

lola

@Dr. Miyagi, fine fine.

Dr. Miyagi

@lola,email me on berchben@gmail.com I’m going to send something to your email when you et the time

Dr.Miyagi

@naanama943,ofcourse I want forget about you my dear

Dr. Miyagi

@lola,email me on berchben@ gmail.com I going to send you something in your email box

lola

@Dr. Miyagi, eeii and what is that doctor?

Dr. Miyagi

@lola,hahaha don’t worry you will see so link me up when your less busy

lola

@Dr. Miyagi, Would that thing bring money home,my dear

Dr. Miyagi

@lola,well lets out it like this I’m going to send you some sample of some few designs, and it will
Surely bring money home yeah

I believe it works but till some time. one of the partner will definitely grow more fond of the other and with time even fall in love, thats when the problems start and maybe mess the friendship up.

HotMama

its works…ive been doing this for a year and a half with the same guy..no strings attached and i love it!!!! when im ready 4 a steady relationship ill stop, but until that time im having fun!!!!!

lola

@HotMama, hmmm you having fun,heh. Wish I can do bad all by myself ,girl

HotMama

@lola, Go for it, no strings attached!!! its much more easier…. im loooving it!

lola

@HotMama, yoo mati

melisa

well, am jus gonna share this because i unconciousely find myself in this soup.

i actually dated this person before i broke it up bcos i found out that he was married. i was so much into him that i didnt want to hate him. so i decided to forget it and jus b his frnd. well, we are so so good as frnds but we find ourselves benefiting as well….i guess u know what i mean. i seriously didnt plan this but we find ourselve in it………i like how it is going so far but some times it breaks me down emotionally/// i still havent gotten over him to the extent that i dont even feel like dating anybody yet. i know i have to move on but ….it jus so hard to beliv that he’s someone’s…its jus to hard…i’ve giving myself to the end of the year…God knows am trying

lola

@melisa, HMMM interesting. thanks for sharing this though but seriously what are you going to do?please GC readers help a sista out.

dotty

Being friends wit benefits may seem like an easy way to have some fun, but all relationships have emotional and physical risks and here are some tins to think abt…do u have feelings for this person that will make this situation more confusing, are u prepared to deal wit a change in the friendship, or losing the friendship altogether? one will become soo attached or leave one feeling alone and used so 4 me i think its a messy business