Most Recent FO Features

This week: a bad coach gets paid, then insulted; a bad quarterback gets optimistic; another bad quarterbcak gets a cunning plan; a bad play gets Matt Ryan irked; a bad play gets burned; and Jets and Raiders fans get drunk.

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD

- Cleveland Browns General Manager Phil Savage, after his Browns team looked like children in the hands of the Giants on Monday, August 18. (SI.com)

THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN BLOGGER WILL FEATURE OUR BLOGSPOT USERNAMES, RIGHT?

"I saw something on a blog and I think you have to go to the person who wrote that and interview him. I'll leave it at that."

- Indianapolis Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy, on reports that Peyton Manning has had a second surgery and would be out longer than expected (Terre Haute News)

IF THERE WAS EVER A GOOD INJURY...

"It's not the same rehab, it's totally different. This is like a walk in the park."

- Baltimore Ravens running back Willis McGahee, comparing his rehab from his recent knee surgery to that following his devastating knee injury in the Fiesta Bowl in 2003. (Carroll County Times)

FORTUNATELY, NOBODY DRAFTED THIS GUY EITHER

"Just trying to be smart .. The preseason is important, but I think the idea is to be ready for when the regular season kicks off."

- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, explaining that his right foot injury -- no, not the one from the Super Bowl, a different one -- would keep him out of the Patriots' third preseason game against the Eagles. (Boston Globe)

"It's just a question of fine-tuning it, working on timing and all those kinds of things. (These questions) are the same kinds of conversations we had last year when Randy (Moss) wasn't out there, so I think that works to his advantage."

"It's not rocket science... You understand why this is the year. You don't need to go into it in detail. This is the year to make it happen. If it doesn't happen, I think changes are going to be made. I'm not sure what direction, but I see it coming."

- Johnson, describing his Wolverine-like healing powers before dropping down and giving the Cincinnati beat writers 21 pushups to prove he can play through his partially torn labrum.

AND THEN HE TOOK IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL

"That's no different than when Brad Pitt and Angelina are filming a movie and it takes that (amount of) time when they get back together to have kids. It will be the same when we get back on the field together. We're going to produce."

THIS WEEK IN HERM

"I think these guys are embarrassed about the way they played... Why it happened I don't know."

- Chiefs Coach Herm Edwards, who doesn't know these things.

"Well. Yeah. We'd like to score when we get into the Red Zone. That's going to be our deal."

- Edwards, unveiling the keystone of his bold new plan.

"Well, I don't know about that. We have an idea. You're talking now, in my opinion, it's not 53 it's 60. Because of the practice squad. So it's 60 in my mind. It's how do you develop 60 guys. Out of the guys you're going to keep, who is the 53rd guy and then from there, who is the eighth guy that makes up 60?"

QUICKLY! GET THEE TO BEARDS.COM!

"The mustache is coming tomorrow -- it's a tribute to my favorite Civil War general. I looked it up on beards.com and it's called The Friendly Mutton Chops, and there's pictures of about a hundred guys, so I know I'm not alone."

- Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, rocking some awesome Ambrose Burnside muttonchops at the end of Packers training camp. For reference, check out this authoritative post on Rodgers' facial hair, featuring the friendly mutton chops at the bottom. (WBAY.com)

IT'S NOT THE GAFFES THAT YOU THINK, BUT THE ONES YOU DON'T THINK?

"He's going to have some mistakes, and we're going to help him out as much as possible."

- Falcons center Todd McClure, who may or may not have been suggesting that the offense help Ryan make his rookie mistakes. (Associated Press)

.. BUT HOW WAS THE PLAY, MRS. LINCOLN?

"If we have the choice of having him for one game or 15, we'll take the 15."

- Redskins Head Coach Jim Zorn regarding his highly quantitative approach to DE Jason Taylor's sprained right knee after the 47-3 loss to the Panthers. (Washington Times)

"I didn't sleep much on it. I lay awake thinking on it."

- Zorn after that same Redskins loss in which the first-team unit was outscored 34-0.

"There are a lot of words we can use. I think we were very soft in our pass protection. In our run game, we had a lack of sustaining one-on-one blocks. .. On the first four passes that Jason threw, he had somebody walked back into him or he had somebody in his face. It is very difficult to play quarterback from that position."

- Zorn on the offensive line, after Jason Campbell was sacked four times and completed 6 of 10 passes for 39 yards.

BE PRECAUTIONARY, BE VERY PRECAUTIONARY

"I'm just trying to be precautionary right now, not trying to go out there and push it."

- Vikings quarterback Tavaris Jackson on resting his sprained right knee, rather than play Saturday against Pittsburgh.

"In fact he could've played and he could've played a certain way with a certain menu of plays and probably had to stay in the pocket, but that's not the prudent thing to do."

WHAT WAS THE DEFENSIVE CALL? FORGET IT, I'LL ASK THE OFFENSE

"The cardboard with the dot was a signal for the defensive front and the hand signal was for the coverage. They varied the hand signals a little bit from the previous year, but it wasn't real hard to figure out. So we'd look at the piece of cardboard and then at the hand signal and pretty much knew what the defense was."

- Giants offensive lineman Grey Ruegamer, a former backup with the Patriots, on the supreme level of intelligence necessary to decode defensive sideline signals.

SOME MOURN DIFFERENTLY THAN OTHERS

"The Raider organization, the National Football League, and the world have lost a great man."

- Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis.

"People can say what they want to say about Gene. They didn't like him. He was too brash. He didn't stroke them the right way. But Gene always told you the truth. Gene got the job done when it boils down to it. His legacy will go on forever."

- NFLPA president and Tennessee Titans center Kevin Mawae.

"It's not polite to speak ill of the dead and I hope his soul is at peace in heaven. But he was a mean-spirited man, who disregarded the plight of many of his former colleagues, who sought improved pension and medical benefits. However, he did a lot for the current players. They owe their salaries to Gene Upshaw."

- Attorney James Acho, who represented several former NFL players in grievances against the NFLPA, seeking improved pension and medical benefits. ( Associated Press)

DELOREAN SEEN SPEEDING THROUGH STREETS OF PHILLY

"For me to be told I look like the Donovan of old, what year are you talking about?."

- Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb.

"Those were great years [2000-04] and, hopefully, we can put 2008 in that category, too,."

"Kyle did a hell of a job in the pocket. He made us look good with his movement. He read the blitzes and made some points."

- Bears center Olin Kruetz after Orton completed 10 of 17 passes for 147 yards with 2 touchdowns, no interceptions and a 126.3 passer rating in his first game since being named the Bears' starting quarterback. (ChicagoBears.com)

AND LOOKS GOOD DOING IT?

WE'RE PRETTY SURE HE'S TALKING ABOUT THE SAME BACK

"I could give a [bleep]. I could give a [bleep]. If we screwed up, I would tell you, 'We screwed up.' Hey, if we said this was 50-50 and we just rolled the dice, I would tell you that."

- Bears GM Jerry Angelo on a conference call with beat writers to eloquently clarify that the back injury to first round draft pick OT Chris Williams is a new injury, not the same injury as when he was drafted. Although, I don't think he's disputing it's the same back.

"Nobody was trying to pull the wool over anybody's eyes. Nobody is covering their ass."

- Angelo, who perhaps, should have been covering something, maybe the phone? (Chicago Tribune)

Send in your favorites (including those you think we may have missed) to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com, and please remember to include a link to your source.

Posted by: Mark Zajack on 29 Aug 2008

29 comments, Last at
03 Sep 2008, 11:42am by
brian

Comments

1

by John A (not verified) :: Fri, 08/29/2008 - 3:31pm

I'm really looking forward to Monday Night Football in 2017, with Herm and Chad Johnson together in the booth.

2

by dryheat (not verified) :: Fri, 08/29/2008 - 3:40pm

Next level indeed, Mr. Ocho Cinco. Strong early candidate for quote of the year.

With the rumors about Lindsay being gay, is it really surprising that she'd choose a guy with a neckbeard to be her beard?

18

by DEW (not verified) :: Fri, 08/29/2008 - 10:02pm

The Todd McClure quote is not only funny, but probably accurate. But I myself like how Herm held what he described as a "kick off" to describe his three-way kicker competition (Jay Feely: for one day, a Chief). Personally I would have suggested a few field goal and extra point attempts be involved in that determination as well...

19

by MossyCade (not verified) :: Sat, 08/30/2008 - 12:04am

Re: Hair-ron Rodgers.

I like the fact that the guy is having fun. But God help him if he starts slow and the team is like, 2-6 at the midpoint. I'm guessing the Packer faithful aren't going to be placated by the humor of his ironic facial hair.

You guys just don't understand the genius of Herm. He is the most down-to-earth football coach. When all of the other coaches want us to believe that they have their teams under control; their plan under control... well, there's Herm... and when I see his quotes I just believe he is the worst BS'r out there; but at the same time I appreciate his honesty... it's football, not rocket science, not world hunger... football! Most of these guys we watch have played football their whole lives, at the very least a year in HS and 4 years in college... it's a game, all it is... a game where you try to win. I really don't believe he is the least prepared and worst coach... just the most honest.

26

by qsi (not verified) :: Tue, 09/02/2008 - 8:48am

As much as I hate to point this out and spoil a good Herm quote, the 60th guy is the 8th guy if counting from 53. If 53 is the first guy, then 54 is the second, and by the time you reach 60 you're on the eighth.

Off by one bug in football coaching?

27

by gmc (not verified) :: Tue, 09/02/2008 - 1:32pm

1. Was Chad Johnson really saying that the Bengals offense is going to need nine months to gestate before producing any touchdowns? If so, maybe they should just sit Carson down so he doesn't get his butt flattened all year. Seeing the second best quarterback in the NFL doing a David Carr impression because his offensive line is incompetent is depressing.

2. Aaron Rodgers has a favorite Civil War General? And it's Ambrose Burnside?

3. Herm isn't a bad coach. He's a good coach for a rebuilding team. He enjoys poking fun at reporters, that's all.

4. If I had to play football in Green Bay, I'd grow a beard too. Anything to keep warm. Green Bay should finish at least 8-8, which will probably win the NFC North unless Tarvaris Jackson suddenly unveils his impression of an NFL quarterback.

28

by mattfwood (not verified) :: Tue, 09/02/2008 - 4:21pm

26 - that would work if Herm were ignoring guy 61, but presumably he's not looking to develop only 7 of the 8 guys on his practice squad.