Hello!

My name is Ally Bean and this is my personal blog answering the question: "What up, Buttercup?" I'm here a few times a week-- unless, of course, I'm not. And yes, I wear eyeglasses. Spectacles, if you will.

Please Note

“I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.”

In Which We Learn The Secret To Longevity According To My Husband

ME: { awake for less than 15 seconds, standing in front of the mirror, looking at the crazy mess that is my curly hair pre-styling } Huh?

HIM: { hanging up his towel } Your hair looks pretty like that.

ME: { wondering why I am being forced to converse before my first cup of coffee } Huh!

HIM: { looking into the mirror, starting to comb his straight wet hair } I know that you think that I’m being facetious when I say that you look pretty, but I’m not.

ME: { using a scrunchie, pulling the top portion of my bobbed hair up into a vertical straggly looking ponytail-esque style good enough for going downstairs to get a cup of coffee } Huh.

HIM: { applying shaving cream to his face, looking like Father Time } And do you know why I’m not being facetious when I say that you look pretty? It’s because…

ME: { distracted while searching for my eyeglasses } What?

HIM: { looking into the mirror, starting to shave his face while chuckling at his supposed cleverness } …I don’t know what “facetious” means, so I can’t be saying anything facetious.

ME: { finally realizing that I’m going to have to talk to him because he’s so full of it } So if you don’t know what a word means when you use it, then when a doctor tells you that you have some sort of disease that you’ve never heard of, you won’t have it because you don’t know what it is?!!!

HIM: { stopping mid-shave, looking at me, pontificating upon his brilliance } Yep. That’s it exactly. That’s how I’m going to live to be one hundred: if I don’t know what it is, I can’t get it. Ignorance is the key to good health.

ME: { putting on my slippers, leaving the bathroom in search of coffee } Well then, you’ve nailed that ignorance part. Enjoy your long life. I hope you and your second wife will be happy together.