FOREIGN STUDENT HOSTS IN SHORT SUPPLY

FRANCES GRANDY TAYLOR; Courant Staff WriterTHE HARTFORD COURANT

There were only a few moments left, and despite the light chatter, the tears were very close to the surface. They posed for some final pictures, hugged and cried. After a year in the United States, they were going home.

Ulrike Fulde, a high school student from Germany, waited at Bradley International Airport with Susan and Richard Krute of Enfield. They had come together through the Youth for Understanding International Exchange, a program that brings youth from all over the world to stay with American families.

The Krutes shared their home and culture with Ulrike, and from her they came to see their own country with new eyes.

"Rike is like our own daughter to us. She's very loving, caring and a wonderful person," Richard Krute says. Having her for a year "enriched our lives immensely."

Over the last few years, the Krutes, who have no children, have hosted two other foreign students. In each case, they say, they got back more than they gave.

Exchange programs like YFU rely on families like the Krutes to open their homes and hearts to young foreign visitors for a few weeks, a month or a year. In recent years, however, organizers say that finding people willing to be host families has become difficult.

Things started getting slow about four years ago, says Marcia Franson, northeast director for American Field Service Intercultural Programs, one of the country's oldest youth-exchange programs. It was partly related to the recession, she says, and something else. Suddenly, "ev eryone seemed to get very busy."

Instead of seeing hosting an exchange student as an opportunity for cultural enrichment, "it's [seen as] one more burden, one more hassle, something that would make them even more busy than they are now," says David Duncan, regional director of YFU, which places 3,000 foreign students a year nationwide.

This busyness seems to be a major stumbling block on the path of lofty ideals like international friendship.

Duncan says younger parents with children, and older "empty nesters" whose children have grown up, are still participating. It's the 35- to 45-year-old baby-boomer families that have often been missing in action. Finding host families has become a real crisis, he said.

Claudia Curiston, area representative for the World Educational Student Travel Program, which places students from France with host families for four weeks in the summer, says she's frustrated.

"I think part of it goes back to a selfish attitude developed in the last decade. People aren't willing to put themselves out," she says. While some familes concerned about layoffs, for example, have good reasons for not participating, some with time, money and a comfortable lifestyle are often unwilling to give it a try, Curiston says.

"I think people think they don't have the time to do it," Susan Krute says. "But it's not like having a tourist in the house. They're not a burden; they become a member of your family. You get as much out of it as you're willing to put into it. You don't need money."

Her husband agrees. "A lot of love and hugs, that's what you need," he says. Families do not receive financial aid for hosting a student, although the student's family takes care of expenses for such things as travel, medical care and entertainment.

Fear of the unknown is also a reason for the declining interest, volunteers say. "People think, `What kind of person will they be? What if I don't like them, or they don't like me?,' " Krute says. "It's possible. But it's more likely that you'll have a wonderful time." The Krutes decided to host Ulrike after corresponding with her by letter and getting to know her.

Margery Stahl, a Durham resident and longtime AFS volunteer, has hosted foreign students several times.

"I think people find it much more difficult to take the time to spend with kids of that age. It's never easy living with a teen. And with two people working, some parents are having trouble deciding what to do with their own kids," she says.

Franson of AFS says people often fear they don't qualify for exchange programs "because they are not a Donna Reed family," she says. "But that's not reality in American today. If we looked for that, we couldn't place anyone."

Single parents can qualify as host families, and you don't necessarily have to have a teenager of your own. Most of the programs offer substantial support to hosts. Programs like AFS, YFU and others have volunteers who keep in touch with the student and the family, coordinate with the school, and provide orientation for both the student and the family before the student arrives. Changes can be made if the placement feels unsuccessful to the student or the family.

Kathi Ulm, a field representative for YFU who lives in Coventry, has hosted students at her home and worked extensively with host families.

"People are very fearful of the busyness of their own lives. They think they have no time to do it," Ulm says. But "the busiest families tend to be the most successful," because they are good at scheduling their time and resources.

Potential hosts sometimes worry that their own children will not get along with the foreign teenager. "Generally, it's not a problem; normal siblings squabble," Ulm says. "The kids learn how to cope with sharing the spotlight."

For the foreign students who come to immerse themselves in American culture, the chance to stay with an American family "is like a dream come true," Ulm says.

Ulrike Fulde comes from a small town in Germany. During her year with the Krutes, she joined the church choir, made a lot of friends, went to the senior prom and graduated from Enrico Fermi High School in Enfield. She learned American expressions and jokes. She says she has grown and changed since she arrived last summer.

"A year is a long time, but today I feel like I came here yesterday," she says while waiting for the plane to take her back home. She vows she will come back to visit. "It's an experience I would recommend to anybody. You really get to know the common life of the American people, not what you see on television," she says.

Organizers say they have no choice but to keep trying to find host families for students. YFU, which will be sending 400 students from the Northeast abroad this summer, still has 98 foreign students due to arrive in August who need places to stay.

Duncan of YFU says the relationships formed through cultural exchange can last a lifetime. "A year is a long time," he says. "But with the right kid it's not long enough."