As the old saying goes: "you can't choose your family, but you can choose to buy them ridiculous gag gifts for the holidays because you hate them." As we stated clearly in the headline, don't act all elitist and compassionate with us! You can't possibly love everyone in your family — shared genetics or not, some of them are just straight up assh-oles and that's OK! Well, it's usually OK, but things can get a little hairy around the holidays. Technically speaking, you can grab a bottle of booze and hide out in your room the entire time, but where's the fun in that? Getting drunk alone is only fun Monday through Friday, not on holidays

Instead of being a recluse (who's also accused of being a cheapskate), why not parlay your hatred into something much more entertaining? We've cultivated the perfect gift guide. No, really guys, we've outdone ourselves with this one. There's truly something for everyone...every annoying, condescending, shrill, alcoholic family member you've got!

Of course, when they react with sheer and utter disgust, feel free to blame us under the pretenses that this was a "gag gift" guide and it was supposed to be funny (even if you're the only one laughing).

Keep scrolling for the complete list of gifts to buy relatives you hate!