The Wedding of Your Dreams

Everyone dreams about a
wedding. Almost everyone. Even those who consider all the weddings in
the world nonsense picture themselves in some white and flimsy dress.

“Getting married! Married! Married! I’m getting married!!!”
The whole house was listening to the happy screams from the fourth floor
for three days. It was quiet for a while and later a great wedding rattled
so much that the neighbors from the eighth floor still remember how the
young couple wanted to occupy their balcony for some time and the neighbors
from the third floor cannot restore the ceiling – it cracked after
the bridegroom’s guests performed “The Swan Lake.”

You can say that you absolutely don't care what kind of wedding dress
Claudia Schiffer had when she got married. You can convince everyone that
you are not at all interested if Leonardo DiCaprio and his Zhizell will
get married or not. You can lie that it makes no difference for you how
many guests arrived to the wedding ceremony of Paul McCartney and Heather
Mills and tell everyone that have you have no single idea about your own
wedding. I repeat: You can do these and many other things, and as soon
as he takes your hands and asks if you will marry him, you will soar to
heaven, answer “Yes!” and plunge into the sweetest period
– preparation for the wedding.

Because everyone dreams about a wedding. Almost everyone. Even those
who consider all the weddings in the world nonsense, picture themselves
in some white and flimsy dress. In spite of the great amount of the doubting,
only a few sincerely and deeply hate the wild cries “Bitterly!”
and the bridal veil.

A wedding is wonderful. And the fuss before it starts when everyone
seems to be crazy is also wonderful. And the time when everyone is worried
is wonderful. Like when the mothers are crying, the fathers are smoking,
the brides are laughing nervously, and the bridegrooms are on their way
out after the bachelor party. When all are scurrying about, making haste,
finishing the dress, ordering the music, making the most beautiful hairdo,
trembling waiting for the bridegroom, then trembling in front of the altar,
giggling in the civilian registry office, then having a good time until
the dawn and giggling again, and someone is again crying.

BUT!

This is good, of course, but somebody is sure that only repairing can
be worse than a wedding. When the wedding celebrations are over it’s
nice if two people are still in love with each other, the house is in
order and the family ties are preserved. Then you can consider the wedding
to be a success. There is another tendency. Some people are sure that
the worse the wedding, the better it is. These thugs and rowdies believe
that a wedding isn’t a wedding if no one gets drunk, or hurts himself,
or smashes his neighbor’s face. Should it be mentioned which weddings
are more and which are merrier?

I saw it once myself: A huge dilapidated table, plates and dishes slightly
pierced, cracked and knocked to pieces. The morning sun shone upon this
after… well, you understand. The scene lost clearness from time
to time, and every now and then it seemed that the bride’s aunt
and the old sideboard squeaked behind the next wall again.

These were weddings after which the bride couldn’t be found. There
was the dress, the veil, the tiara, the slippers, but there was no bride.
There were weddings after which the bridegroom couldn’t be found.
He was nowhere to be found. There was the bride, her parents, their friends,
acquaintances, acquaintances of the acquaintances and just sympathizers
– all were present but the bridegroom was not in sight. As the search
was delayed, and the bride’s pregnancy couldn’t be concealed
in any wedding dress, the young lady was given in marriage to somebody
else. The only merit of somebody else was in his presence. Nobody knew
that he himself had helped the previous bridegroom to escape, covered
up the tracks and married the abandoned. Thank God the black deed ended
happily in spite of all the treachery. They live in perfect harmony now,
have given birth to many children and the wife confessed not long ago
that she didn’t really want to marry that first one, he just came
along.

It only seems that a wedding is a traditional and predictable arrangement.
They say nothing new has been invented. You need a wedding dress, a marriage
license, a celebration and to live happily. The first three things can
be true, but the celebration itself can be anything at all.

DRESS

The white one, of course, the white one – the mother is dreaming
about it and most of the brides as well. But some eccentrics find in the
dust of archives documentation that in the reign of Vladimir the Gorgeous
Sunshine, the brides were dressed in green, and until the last guest leaves
talk only of this fact.