Q:
What do you call a woman with a sinking ship on her head? A: Mandy Lifeboats!

Q:
What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?A: Beatrix Potter!

Q: What do you call a lion with toothache? A: Rory!

Q: What do you call a man with a big truck on his head?A: Laurie!

Q: What do you call a man with turf on his head? A: Pete!

Q: What do you call the ghost who haunts TV shows? A: Phantom of the Oprah!

Q: What kind of illness does Bruce Lee get?A: Kung Flu!

Q:
What do you call a man who doesn't sink? A: Bob!

Q: What do you call a Rodent that has a sword? A: A Mouseketeer!

Q: What do you call the bad lion tamer? A: Claude Bottom!

Q: What do monsters make with cars? A: Traffic Jam

Q:
What do you call the elephant witch doctor?A: Mumbo Jumbo

Q:
Why did the pony cough? A: He was a little hoarse!

Q: What do sheep do on sunny days? A: Have a baa - baa - cue!

Q:
How do you know when a dog has been naughty?A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Q:
Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches? A: In a Launch box

Q:
What do you call the pub on Mars?A: A Mars Bar!

Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?A: I must have left the landing light on

Q:
What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen? A: Spatula!

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance? A: He had no body to go with! Fancy a few riddles?

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would
they bury the survivors?A: you don't bury survivors

Q:
Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and
left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be
left? A: 'Each' is a mans name!

Q: If there's a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right
in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?A: neither, the frog is dead!

Q: You're a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second
stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth
stop everyone got off. The question is what colour are the bus drivers
eyes? A: The same as yours, you're the bus driver.

Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains? A: The sea!

Q:
A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a
hair on his head got wet...how come? A: He was bald.

Q: David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ? A: David

Q:
What has a mouth but doesn't eat, a bank with no money, a bed but doesn't
sleep, and waves but has no hands? A: a river.

Q:
A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on
Friday. How could that be?A: His horse was called Friday.

Q:
If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the
left side where's the white house?A: Washington DC

Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.