Mia Watts – Xtian Xrated

Please welcome Mia Watts to Victoria Blisse today to talk about something close to my heart. It’s really good to know I’m not the only person out there juggling my faith and my writing!

Hi, my name is Mia Watts and I write homosexual, erotic romance. Oh, wait. Hi, I’m Mia Watts. I’m a single mom with small children, practicing Christian who ACTIVELY writes homosexual, erotic romance and publishes that work more than once a month. I’m straight. I spent fifteen years married to a church pastor and grew up with parents who retired into missionary work overseas. And just to throw a little more wood on this witch-hunt, I have no issues with gay marriage, the gay community, or anything involving people who love other people.

There’s a two-fold issue here. Other Christians reading that paragraph will think, “How could you? You must not be a true Christian if you write sex. Especially GAY sex.” Non-Christians think all of us Bible Beaters are incapable of possessing an open mind.

This is where my head chimes in with the song, “I’mmmm—stuck in the middle with youuuu.”

This post is to both of you. I’m hoping it will give everyone insight and we’ll find a common ground. You may have to apply tongue in cheek from time to time. I’m rarely serious, but I’m going to give it a shot.

To the non-Christians, let me just say that a lot of us get a bad rap. It’s true that the most publicized of our mother-ship leaders are vocal about their hatred. They will condemn people to hell in one breath and insist that you love the God who hates you in the next.

Guess what? There are a lot of us who don’t buy that argument either. You’ll see why if you keep reading through the faith portion of this post.

To the Christians, you wonder how a God-lovin’, God-fearin’ (HALLELUIA, PRAISE JE-SU-SUS) sister of the everlastin’ LOW-ward above, could write about the heinousness of seks-ssyoo-uhl (as my deep southern sisters pronounce it) “relations” in the first place. This is the crowd that skips over the Song of Songs in the Bible, or squints and calls it marital poetry. They can’t imagine an open, honest discussion about sex within a marriage, let alone a relationship between the same sexes.

Yes, I know these are extremes, but these are the ones I run up against. My parents fall into the latter category. My ex didn’t care what I wrote as long as he got to cash the checks and spend every last dime of my earnings to put him through seminary. No joke. Take that Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. What you call porn put your pastor through four years of in depth study and ministry internships.

I don’t tell my parents what I write. They know I write, but they mostly think I do other things for at-home work. And that’s how it’ll stay.

It’s this kind of judgment that I get all the time. It’s the reason I don’t tell people what I do with full disclosure. It’s the reason my church doesn’t know, and it’s the reason they never will. I accept THEM, but I know they’d never accept me. Not without eventually trying to change me.

Here’s the thing, folks. God made us who we are. He made me highly tuned toward things that are sensual. He made me smart enough to know how to write and how to take care of my family. He’s listened to my prayers for the three years since I’ve been on my own, raising these kids and questioning whether I should find outside work.

In all those years and job applications, guess what? I’m still here, still providing and still accepting that some of us are just made differently, and that’s okay. Regardless of what you believe about sinful behavior and “right” behavior, let me put it to you like this:

There are alcoholics. There are druggies. There are people who struggle with their weight. There are gossipers and there are shopaholics. There are neglectful parents and there are germaphobes. Dude, there are lawyers (Sorry, had to get one in)! And, hey, there are gay couples and people who write about them. (No, I don’t think being gay is sinful. I think there are Christians who do. I’m saying that even if they think so, there needs to be some deeper insight.)

Does God love them any less? Does He love you less for what you believe are faults in your character? No. He doesn’t.
At the risk of getting preachy, let me remind you that while the Old Testament rules and regulations are indeed important as a basis for our faith, it’s the New Testament, the body and blood of Christ, who is the core of our belief system. Love no other God but the One True God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Those are your commandments the moment Christ was born.

I love God above all others. I work hard to love my neighbors, even if they don’t love what I do or what I support. At the end of the day, we are all cupped gently in the palm of His hand. The people he holds there push and shove at each other. Sometimes they are successful and throwing them over the edge of that palm so that they want nothing to do with God.

Meanwhile God is looking down at them, shaking His head and loving all of you, wondering why you fight amongst yourselves when all He wants you to do is look up. Look up people. Stop judging everyone around you.

God doesn’t dump you out of His hand, regardless of your “faults”. He holds you there. So if you think I’m wrong, sinful, dirty, remember I’m in that palm too being loved and bringing up my children in the church to be loving. Judgment is so fleeting and it’s not even like you get to decide if I make it into heaven or not. I know I’m saved, no matter what you think about what I do with my time.

Wow, that was a whole lotta serious for me.

Guys, there’s room for all of us on this planet. If you’re born pre-disposed to alcoholism, does that mean you’re a failure at life? No, it means you were born pre-disposed to alcoholism. Not to connect the two in a bad way, but why is it so hard to understand that some people are born pre-disposed to homosexuality?

Some people are born white. Some people are born in third-world countries. So to those of you who insist up and down that “God don’t make no mistakes,” I think you have a bigger argument with yourself on this issue. Because aren’t you saying that God was wrong, made a mistake, cosmically screwed up if your neighbor is gay?

Wow. I’m so glad I won’t be in your shoes at judgment! That loving your neighbor thing is looking better all the time, isn’t it?

Mia makes her home in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she divides her time between a job and spying on people. Mia enjoys long walks in the park, daisies, dancing in the snow…(Delete prior sentence, meant for personal ad)…

Mr. Perfect may apply in person for a thorough evaluation and trial. All others will be towed.

In response to my experience, this article and a nagging idea that wouldn’t go away I’ve created some groups for Christian Readers and Writers of Erotica to bring us all together in a place where we can feel comfortable. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to share our stories and show each other the support that can so often be lacking.

4 Comments

And yet despite everything you write here you still seem to be saying that people who are gay are somehow flawed…. You list them in a group with druggies and alcoholics. You even seem to be saying that God still loves you despite your flaws… writing gay erotica? I applaud you for that and for attempting to write this post and yet I still see a Christian using the words fault and judgement. All you are saying is God loves you despite your Gay flaws. It is subtle I give you that and yet the message still seems to be there. Yes God and Christian people should love all these people but the difference is Gay people do not need to be cured are NOT flawed… being Gay is not bad for your health unlike being an alcoholic, druggie or neglecting or abusing your children.

Hi Molly, I’m actually glad you brought that up as candidly as you did! I was afraid that’s how my statement would be read. What I’m trying to say, and thought I did, was that if you are a Christian who feels that way about gay rights and relationships, you still don’t have a leg to stand on. My feeling is that there ISN’T a flaw. However, that’s not the general consensus of my Christian faith. That portion of the blog is written for THOSE people. I can’t preach them into agreement, but I can use their logic to show them the flaws of the argument.

In order to discuss something rationally with another person, you have to bring it to their terms. No, I don’t think being gay is sinful. I think there are Christians who do. I’m saying that even if they think so, there needs to be some deeper insight.

I hope that helps to clarify. I wouldn’t be writing gay erotic romance if I thought it was evil, right? :) Thanks so much for commenting and bringing this up.

Thanks for commenting Molly and for clarifying, Mia. It’s such an emotive subject and to try and convince people who think being Gay is a sin that it isn’t is really tough, I admire Mia for even trying it. What I will do is add some of your clarification to the post above, Mia so no one else is mistaken in what you actually mean. :)