But if you don't pull over & give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, and you drew the short straw cause your head's going up my ass.

You gotta wonder though, what kind of bastard must I have been.....that nobody was there to claim me? I mean, I'm no, I'm not the most charming guy on the world so I've been told, but nobody?

I apologize to the people of Los Angeles. My behavior has been improper and I accept the consequences. I ask my fellow Angelinos for their patience and understanding. Life here can be difficult for me. After all, I am the only one of my kind. During my incarceration, I will be participating in alcohol and anger management treatment. You deserve better from me. I can be better. I will be better.

That's something you might want to bring up on a first date, Mary. "I don't like to travel." "I'm allergic to cats." "I'm immortal." Those are like some things you might want to give a little heads up on.

Hancock: Okay, well you should sue McDonald's 'cause they fucked you up.

Woman: And I can smell that liquor in your breath!

Hancock: 'Cause I been drinkin', bitch!

Ray: We at Embrey Publicity would like to offer you the AllHeart symbol. Now you would be among a very select group of corporate giants to bear this logo on your product. And what this would say to the public is that your company, Pharmatopsis, had made a radical contribution to helping our world. And here is all you'd have to do to qualify: Your new TB drug, micadin, we would like you to give that product away, for free.

Businessman: Did you say free?

Ray: I did — only to those who really need it. Only to those who without it would otherwise die.

Businessman: Alright. As a concept "free" is kind of up there with "lethal side effects—"

Businessman 2: "Mandatory product recall."

Businessman: "Get indicted, going to jail —"

Businessman 2: "Get out, work at IHOP the rest of your career—"

Ray: Understandable reactions — a radical concept — but it is the brand that represents a fairer and better world. The brand that everyone is talking about. ...Anyway — we can save the world. Someone's just got to go first. What do you say?

CEO: Are you a crackpot?

Hancock: That's a good meatball, boy.

Mary: Aaron.

Hancock: Momma's callin you.

Mary: No, his name's Aaron.

[Ray shows Hancock some comic book superheros]

Ray: What do you think when you see this?

Hancock: Homo.

Ray: [Shows him a comic book with a red-clad superhero] And this?

Hancock: Homo in red.

Ray: [Shows him another comic book with a blond-haired superhero] And this?

Hancock: Norwegian homo.

Ray: I'll give you that.

Ray: Stop pretending that you do not care! You have a calling. You're a hero, Hancock. You're going to be miserable the rest of your life until you accept that. Trust me. Trust this plan, this process — you're staying here. When they call, a hero is what we're going to give them.

Mary: I've lived for a very long time, Ray, and the one thing I learned — fate doesn't decide everything. People get to choose.

Hancock: And you chose to let me think I was here alone.

Mary: I didn't think you'd miss what you didn't remember.

Mary: We're becoming mortal. It's us, being close to each other. It never happened this fast before. You have to leave. The further you get from me, the better you're going to feel. You'll start getting your powers back — and be flying and breaking things and saving people before you know it. It's like I said. We were built in pairs, and when we get close to our opposites, we lose our power.

Hancock: Why?

Mary: So we can live human lives. Love. Connect. Grow old and die.

Hancock: (trying to get a badly injured cop to the ambulance) Do I have permission to touch your body?

Female Cop: Yes!

Hancock: Alright... this is not sexual. Not that you're not an attractive woman. You're actually a very attractive woman...

Female Cop: Get me the hell out of here!

Ray Embrey: I put some stuff up on YouTube. Everybody remembers Walter the great whale. He was stuck on the beach. Along comes Hancock.

(video showing Hancock throwing a whale back into the ocean, hitting a sailboat)