I was a church secretary for a year. Another secretary there was in charge of the bulletin, but she always had me proofread it for her. She swears that, when she was a secretary for another church, she let “Do You Like to Sin in the Shower?” get through to the real bulletin.

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When I was the “maintenance guy” at my former church, I left a note attached to a receipt in the office for the secretary. Note read:
“Van Battery died.” The secretary was concerned that she didn’t know this church member, and asked how she should announce his passing in the bulletin.

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Church sign: The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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A nervous pastor preaching his first sermon. Instead of “God called me to heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out the devil.”
what came out was, “God called me to heal the dead, cast out the sick, and raise the devil.”

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Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: “The Gates of Heaven”. Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: “Please use other entrance.”