Having a Rant

This isn't really a game, but most of the time I feel like ranting about something, so I thought, "why not make a game out of it?"

I'll start:

OHMYGOSH MY BROTHER IS SUCH AN IDIOT JUST BECAUSE HE'S GOT A BROKEN ARM APPARENTLY HE'S ALLOWED TO BOSS EVERYONE ABOUT. I ACTUALLY HAVE TO WAIT ON HIM AND IT'S SO IRRITATING. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EDIT THIS POST BEFORE HE COMES BACK ONLINE AND UGHH.

My Character:: Activity: Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic

Subject: Re: Having a Rant Wed Jan 01, 2014 5:00 pm

Okay, here I go:

Okay, so I have a friend who decided to celebrate her birthday on the 20th of december, the first friday of the holiday. She celebrated with another friend. Let's call my first friend for 'Amara' and the one she celebrated with for 'Kat'. So, Amara and Kat rented a location and had everything planned and posted an event on Facebook, right?And I and my third friend (let's call her Emma) decided to celebrate our birthday the 21st. Yeah, and that was working perfectly fine, until we made an event on Facebook and Amara called me up, saying that why was I celebrating my day then, because that was the day she was celebrating hers with Kat. So they had changed their date on Facebook, but not told me. HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO NOTICE THAT?!Either way, it all worked out okay, I suppose. I celebrated mine and she celebrated hers. But now she has come and told me how she totally doesn't like Emma anymore, and I JUST CAN'T! I mean, I love them both, seriously, they mean so much to me, but SERIOUSLY?! She doesn't even know Emma, and now she's judged her as a moron for wanting to celebrate her birthday on a Saturday when Emma's boyfriend was in town. It was the only day he was there. He left the 23rd, and that's why Amara is mad at Emma. Because Emma wouldn't celebrate her birthday on a SUNDAY! I mean, COME ON! And it's been so frustrating lately… I hope it blows over soon, because they both mean so much to me, and it would mean so much to me to just be able to be with them together without Amara hating on Emma. Emma has no idea what's going on either, but REALLY?! I mean, I just want them to be good around each other!

My friends think that it's cool that I have a parent from Malta and another parent coming from an Arab country. WELL IT'S NOT. First of all, he's barely ever home. He usually spends time abroad in his home country for a month or two and then comes home for a few weeks. AND I HATE HIM FOR THAT. JUST WHEN WE GET USED TO IDEA THAT WE HAVE NO DAD, THERE HE COMES MARCHING HOME LIKE HE NEVER LEFT WITH HIS STUPID SMIRK ON HIS FACE. FUCK. Even when he's in Malta, he's barely ever home too! He spends the day, or even night, out using mum's car because he doesn't have one of his own. SO WHEN HE TAKES MUM'S CAR SHE HAS TO TAKE THE FUCKING BUS TO WORK AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH TIME SHE HAS TO SPEND OUTSIDE IN THE COLD WAITING FOR THE BUS. HE COULD AT LEAST TAKE HER TO WORK BUT NOOOO HE HAS TO GO GOD-KNOWS-WHERE FOR GOD-KNOWS-HOW-LONG. AND THEN WHEN HE COMES HOME (USUALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT) HE TURNS ON THE LIGHTS AND STARTS STOMPING AROUND THE HOUSE TRYING TO WAKE US UP AND IT'S ANNOYING. AND THEN IN THE MORNING, WHEN MUM AND I ARE ACTUALLY DOING SOME WORKING AND CLEANING THE HOUSE HE JUST OPENS HIS EYES AND YELLS FOR ME TO MAKE HIM SOME COFFEE. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT MUM AND I ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SERVANTS? HE FILLS OUR HEADS WITH EMPTY PROMISES THAT HE WILL TAKE US ABROAD FOR ONCE BUT HE NEVER DOES. HE SMOKES ALL AROUND THE HOUSE AND HE ACTS LIKE HE OWNS A HOME WHICH HE BARELY SPENDS TIME IN. I BET HE SPENDS MORE TIME IN HIS FRIEND'S APARTMENT THAN IN HIS ACTUAL FUCKING HOUSE. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT. WHENEVER MUM ASKS HIM TO TAKE US OUT, HE'LL JUST BE LIKE, "OH WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO IN THIS COLD?" AND THEN GOES OUT HIMSELF THAT NIGHT. AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE GOES. HE TREATS MY MUM AND I LIKE SERVANTS, LIKE WE ACTUALLY WANT TO DO STUFF FOR HIM AND IT'S FUCKING GETTING ON MY NERVES. HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A JOB! AND THEN HE EXPECTS US TO PUT UP WITH HIS AND HIS FRIENDS' YELLING ON SKYPE DURING THE NIGHT WE CAN BARELY EVEN SLEEP WITH THAT. I AM FUCKING TIRED OF BEING HIS SERVANT AND MAKING HIM COFFEE I MEAN HE SHOULD GET UP AND DO HIS OWN COFFEE FOR A CHANGE.

Edit. I'm in the mood to rant some more.

I CAN'T EVEN GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS. NOT EVEN TO THE MOVIES OR ANYTHING. THE ONLY TIME I GET PERMISSION IS TO GO TO A SCHOOL PARTY OR SOMETHING AND IT STINKS. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HORRIBLE THE FEELING IS WHEN ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING SOMEWHERE DURING THE WEEKEND AND YOU ARE ALWAYS LEFT OUT. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ABOUT WHAT HE THINKS OF MY FRIENDS. HE BELIEVES THAT THEY ARE A BAD INFLUENCE SO I CAN'T EVEN GET TO GO OUT WITH THEM. GOD, DOES HE EVEN KNOW HOW HIS FRIENDS ARE AN INFLUENCE ON HIM? I BET HE WON'T EVEN LET ME HAVE A BOYFRIEND, DOES HE WANT ME TO DO ALONE OR SOMETHING? FUCK. AND THEN WHEN WE'RE GOING OUT AS A FAMILY HE ALWAYS HAS TO CHECKS WHAT I'M WEARING AND ALMOST ALWAYS TELLS ME TO PUT ON SOMETHING ELSE. I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL DOES HE THINK I'M ABOUT TO DO, WHAT I BARELY EVEN GET TO GO OUT. HE WASTES I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY ON CIGARETTES AND SMOKES ALL THE TIME. I SWEAR HE SMOKES ABOUT A PACKET A DAY. AND EVEN IN THE CAR. HE KNOWS THAT I FEEL NAUSEOUS AND DIZZY WHENEVER HE SMOKES BUT HE DOESN'T FUCKING CARE. HE COULD AT LEAST GET A JOB TO WASTE HIS OWN MONEY TOO BUT NO, HE HAS TO TAKE SOME OF MUM'S MONEY EVERY TIME. I AM SO DONE WITH HIS SHIT BUT I CAN'T TELL IT TO HIS FACE WITHOUT HIM BLOWING UP THE HOUSE.

And for the record, I do actually like my mum. She is influenced by the devil Scary Mary.

OKAY EVERYONE KNOWS I LIKE CAPS SO EXCUSE THEM. I AM A JUNIOR LEADER FOR MY CHURCH GROUP. I SORT OF GOT ROPED INTO IT BY MY RELIGIOUS MUM AND HER FRIEND WHO ARE THE SENIOR LEADERS THERE. LETS CALL MY MUM'S FRIEND MARY. SOMETIMES I JUST TURN UP FOR THE SWEETS (THEY HAVE REDVINES!!) WHICH ARE VERY GOOD. THE KIDS SEEM TO LIKE ME TOO WHICH IS NICE.

ANYWAY, I GOT FORCED INTO STANDING UP IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CHURCH AND ASKING FOR MONEY FOR THE YOUTH GROUP. I HATE PUBLIC SPEAKING AND MY MUM KNOWS THAT. BUT SHE MADE ME ANYWAY BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO KEEP ON SCARY MARY'S GOOD SIDE. I WAS REALLY SCARED AND I FOLLOWED THE SPEECH WHICH THEY'D OKAYED BUT IT SOUNDED A BIT DEMANDING AND STUPID AND STUFF AND PEOPLE LAUGHED AT THE WRONG BITS.

AFTERWARDS, ME BEING EMOTIONALLY SCARRED AFTER THAT HORRIFYING EXPERIENCE, I WAS IN THE CHURCH HALL EATING COOKIES (WHICH I WAS FORCED TO MAKE ) AND SCARY MARY COMES UP TO BE AND SHE'S ALL LIKE, "THAT WAS QUITE GOOD." BUT SHE GIVES ME THIS REALLY DIRTY LOOK AND IT WAS REALLY SCARY, HENCE THE NAME SCARY MARY.

AND OHMIGOSH MY MUM JUST GOT BACK AND TOLD ME I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS! SHE KNOWS HOW I HATE STUFF LIKE THAT AND SAW HOW BAD I WAS BUT ISN'T GIVING ME THE CHOICE EVEN! THERE'S ABOUT THREE OTHER YOUTH LEADERS WHO COULD DO IT BUT JUST BECAUSE THE RELIGIOUS, SCARY MARY FRIEND IS MY MUM, I HAVE TO DO IT TWICE!

It really isn't actually that bad but speaking like that scares me. I almost faint when I have to do readings in church so writing a speech to read is horrible.

Pregnancy is the worst thing to go through ever. I'm betting it's worse than actually giving birth. I'm tired and emotional and I keep craving chocolate and I'm being a bitch not nice person and I keep fighting with my husband and yesterday I just randomly started to cry hysterically. I know nothing's wrong and it's all normal pregnancy stuff and I want to have this kid and all that but I WANT IT TO JUST HAPPEN NOW. I don't want to wait eighteen fucking days because I'm fucking tired of all this. Fairly short and sweet, and I'm not sure it helped, but nevermind. I tried.

EDIT: NEVER MESS WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN. I DON'T THINK ANYONE EVER TOLD MY FUCKING HUSBAND THAT, THOUGH, DID THEY, BECAUSE NOW WE'RE JUST ANGRY WITH EACH OTHER WHICH IS SAD.

HE SAYS THAT HE IS LEAVING TOMORROW BUT WILL ONLY BE GONE THREE DAYS AND WHEN HE COMES BACK HE WILL BE STAYING PERMANENTLY. WELL FUCK YOU DAD AND I HOPE YOUR FUCKING PLANE CRASHES OKAY. I AM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT TILL I AM 18 SO I CAN BE NORMAL AND GET TO GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND ALL THAT JUNK. HE IS EVEN FORCING ME TO TAKE ARABIC NEXT YEAR AND I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT. I SPENT ENOUGH TIME IN PRIMARY SCHOOL STUDYING IT TO KNOW THAT IT IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN GERMAN AND I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT AGAIN. IF I CHOOSE A SUBJECT I WON'T ENJOY I WILL END UP WITH BAD MARKS AND DAD WILL GET MAD IF I GET BAD MARKS. WHEN LAST YEAR'S END OF YEAR MARKS RANGED FROM 60S TO 90S HE GOT FUCKING MAD. AND GETTING THESE KIND OF MARKS ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL.

WELL SORRY FOR NOT BEING THE PERFECT DAUGHTER.

SORRY FOR NOT BEING THE PERFECT FUCKING SERVANT, DAD. I AM PAST THE POINT OF CARING WHAT I PUT IN YOUR COFFEE.

I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY. MY FUCKING FAMILY IS DRIVING ME FUCKING MAD. AUNT1/MUM STOPPED TALKING FOR AGES BUT NOW THEY ARE SHOUTING OVER THE PHONE AND I CAN'T HERE A FUCKING THING. AUNT1'S DAUGHTER, COUSIN1, IS TRYING TO INTERFERE AND KEEPS SWEARING AT ME AND CALLING MY MUM A BITCH OVER THE INTERNET. AUNT2 TOOK MUM'S SIDE AND UNCLE1&2 ALSO DO. AUNT3 TOOK AUNT1'S SIDE. WHAT'S DRIVING ME MAD IS TRYING TO DO A BLOODY PROJECT WHEN I CAN'T HERE A FUCKING THING WITH EVERYONE SCREAMING. THEN AUNT1'S HUSBAND IS REALLY ILL AND MY MUM IS BEING AN INSENSITIVE BITCH, SO THAT'S WHY FUCKING COUSIN1 AND HER BROTHER COUSIN2 ARE SO FUCKING ANGRY AT ME WHEN I NEVER DID A FUCKING THING. IF YOU DON'T GET IT, DON'T EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND DON'T SAY SORRY BECAUSE IT WON'T DO A FUCKING THING, SORRY AS YOU MAY BE.

I am having a brilliant time in Montenegro. ON MY OWN! EVERYONE seems to hate it and complain about it, and I'm SO FREAKING SICK OF IT! They're all spoiled brats who obviously doesn't know a single GODDAMNED THING about loving life. If things doesn't live up to their standards, then EVERYTHING is wrong. I MEAN SERIOUSLY!

Norway being a rich and wealthy and just happy-every-day country (not true, loads of problems there, but still) I guess I understand that people think it's weird to be in a place where everything is different, and where washing machines isn't easy to come by. But they're being absolutely RIDICULOUS! They're a curling generation, which means that everyone is giving them a push and then clearing the way for them so they can reach their goal, and I'm honestly concerned of what on earth will happen to them when they start working. They can't take anything! They're so freaking fragile, and they take everything for granted, and so many of them think the world revolves around THEM.

Worst of all is that I can't even find solace in my co-workers, because they're complaining all the time as well! (no, not you Darcy...) So when the students are all negative and my co-workers are all negative, it's seriously hard to be around them at all. Which is why I've locked myself up in my room, and I'm planning on pretending to be sick tomorrow, just so they won't come nagging at me... (it is a Sunday, so I'm off duty, but just to be left alone) AND THAT'S HOW BAD IT'S GOTTEN! I'm shutting myself out because they're all so negative, and I think it's so WONDERFUL here, and they're completely ruining it for me, and they don't see this, because they can only see their own MISERY!

I can also see how this is affecting some of the other students who are trying to be happy, and I really hope people can just WAKE UP and see that being negative DOESN'T FREAKING WORK FOR ANYONE!

I AM TIRED OF BEING THE STUPID SERVANT WITH NO OPINION. I AM TIRED OF BEING PUSHED AROUND TO MAKE COFFEE. I AM VERY FUCKING TIRED OF HAVING TO COME HOME TO THIS STUPID FUCKING LIFE AND HAVING TO CONTINUE TO LIVE THROUGH IT BECAUSE I AM JUST SO SICK. I JUST CAN'T ANYMORE. I AM SO MAD AND IRRITATED AND MY WHOLE LIFE IS CRASHING DOWN FROM EVERYWHERE AND I WANT TO TELL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS OR SOMEONE ABOUT IT BUT I JUST CAN'T BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T GET IT. MY MUM WOULD JUST BE LIKE "OH WHAT CAN YOU DO OTHER PEOPLE HAVE LIVED THROUGH MORE THAN YOU." AND MY FRIENDS WOULD BE LIKE "I AM SO SO SORRY." AND THEY WOULD JUST HUG ME AND WHATEVER. THEY DON'T HAVE THIS LIFE. THEY HAVEN'T LIVED THROUGH IT. THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE. AND IT'S NOT JUST DAD- IT'S RAISA, IT'S MY BROTHER, IT'S MY STUPID TEACHERS, IT'S EVERYTHING AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO START EXPLAINING AND I JUST WANT TO CRY BUT I CAN'T BECAUSE I AM USED TO NOT CRYING IN FRONT OF ANYONE.

I AM TIRED OF TELLING MYSELF THAT IT'LL BE OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW IT WON'T BE.

I am having suicidal thoughts again and I have no idea who to talk to >.< THERE IS NOBODY TO TALK TO OKAY

MY MUM IS CAUSING THIS DEPRESSION NOW

SHE SAID THAT IF SHE GOES TO MY PARENT'S DAY AND HEARS THAT EVERY TEACHER TELLS HER THAT I BRING IN MY HOMEWORK LATE SHE SAYS THAT SHE WON'T BE HAPPY AND SHE WAS VERY FUCKING SERIOUS WHEN SHE SAID IT AND I AM SCARED BECAUSE IF I TELL HER THAT I AM TRYING TO IMPROVE SHE WON'T BELIEVE ME AND SHE SAYS THAT I AM JUST MAKING UP EXCUSES.

WHAT DOES SHE FUCKING EXPECT? PEOPLE DON'T IMPROVE ON THOSE HABITS OVERNIGHT! AND SHE WILL NEVER FUCKING RESPECT THAT BECAUSE I AM NOT THE PERFECT DAUGHTER AND I BET SHE THINKS THAT I AM THE WORST DAUGHTER EVER BECAUSE OF THE NOVEMBER TESTS' RESULTS.

AND SHE WILL MAKE MY LIFE MORE HELL THAN IT ALREADY IS IF I GET BAD COMMENTS AND I DON'T FUCKING WANT THAT. BECAUSE HOW MY LIFE ALREADY IS IS JUST FUCKING ENOUGH AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT HOW IT ALREADY IS. I AM JUST SO TIRED OF GOING TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY AND CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MY FRIENDS ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HELP. I'LL JUST END UP CRYING AND THEY'LL JUST GO TELL SOME TEACHER ABOUT IT AND MAKE A BIG DEAL. I AM TIRED OF NOT EVEN KNOWING HOW TO TALK TO THEM. I AM JUST SO FUCKING DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME AND I SMILE TO PRETEND THAT IT'S ALL FINE WHEN IT'S NOT.

AND NOW I'M HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BECAUSE- NOBODY IN MY LIFE FUCKING WANTS ME. I AM SO USELESS IN EVERYTHING THAT NOBODY WOULD CARE IF I LEFT. NOBODY WOULD CARE IF I JUST TOOK A KNIFE AND CUT MYSELF. THEY DON'T CARE, I KNOW IT. THEY STILL HAVE EACH OTHER AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ENOUGH FUN WITHOUT ME.

So, I was casually eating my lunch in the library one day (mercilessly shoving a foot long from subway down my throat in front of hot guys cuz i'm cool like that), and this guy that I went to high school with came down and sat next to me. We began talking, but he made me not to want to eat my sand which because it was a foot long, and I felt fat already for finishing the first half and moving on to the second. But anyways, he began to talk to me, and ask all of these questions about EVERYTHING. We did have A LOT in common, but for one thing, he wasn't attractive at all, and two, he was clingly. But me being the nice person gave him cell number, and we talked...more than I wanted to. He said he wanted to get to know me better, and eventually be my boyfriend...(again, not attractive). But that wasn't the only thing wrong with him. Apparently he's a total creeper to (according to one of my friends who graduated with him. He's a year above me.) So, I tell him that I don't want a bf right now and just want to focus on school and launch my career. So he hasn't talked to me since (YAY! <--does that make me a terrible person?).

PRESENT DAY (MONDAY AND TUESDAY)

Ok, so this guy comes and sits by me at the computer. He was nice. He said he want's to be an EMT, and I told him that I shadowed one before so I started telling him a little bit about that. He asked for my number...(me being the nice person gave it to him). I thought he was just going to want to ask me more about the EMT stuff. BUT WHAT DOES HE DO? HE ASKS ME OUT...I TELL HIM NO. AND HE IS VERY PERSISTANT. BUT I FINALLY SAY THAT I WANT TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER LIKE I TOLD THE FIRST DUDE. HE SAID OK, BUT HE WOULDN'T STOP CALLING OR TEXTING ME. SO IN MATH CLASS, I TOLD MY GUY FRIEND (WHOM I'VE LIKED SINCE MY FRESHMEN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL) (I'M NOW A SOPHOMORE IN COLLEGE), AND HE TOOK MY PHONE AND TOLD THE GUY THAT HE WAS MY BF AND TOLD HIM TO BACK OFF. AND HE HASN'T TALKED TO ME SINCE! MY ONLY QUESTION IS...WHY DO I ALWAYS ATTRACT THE CREEPERS??? I POINTED HIM OUT TO MY FRIEND AND SHE SAID THAT SHE KNEW HIM AND HE INDEED WAS A CREEPER. ALSO...IF I WOULD IGNORE HIS TEXTS, HE WOULD CALL. I HAVE FOUR MISSED CALLS FROM HIM IN 30 MINUTES. I'VE BLOCKED HIS NUMBER, BUT SINCE MY GUY FRIEND TOLD HIM HE WAS MY BF, HE HASN'T CONTACTED ME SINCE! so...that is my rant. the end. Hopefully i'll have better luck with guys at the university...meh.

_________________

MADE BY JAHS <3

Morgana GauntAdmin

Posts : 991Join date : 2013-05-20Age : 24

My Character:: Activity: Junior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic

Subject: Re: Having a Rant Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:34 pm

So, I was having an all right day at work. Yes, a pretty darned FINE day at work. And there's this snobby guy walking in and doesn't let me finish my sentences because he has to state his own first and can't be bothered with my opinion. This type of snobby I actually think is a bit funny, so I just fought to hide my grin, and played it cool. And when he paid, he asked if it was possible to return it all because he might not be able to paint this summer and would have to wait until next. (That's one of the things we sell; paint)

And I figured that why wouldn't we trade it back if it was untouched, right? So I said it was all right. And then my boss and another co-worker (who was in the shop at that time) were talking with some other customer, and I overheard that we do not return paint when it's made for a customer. We basically don't let anyone return anything in our shop. So I was like, shit. But I figured, what are the chances that this guy returns, right? And then my boss and co-worker left when there were about two hours left for me to work. And that's fine. I know how to be in the shop on my own, it's totally okay.

But then this snobby guy calls the shop and says he wants to return the paint. And, me now knowing we don't do that, tells him so and he throws a fit, and I figure that I said it was fine, I should take the hit for it, so I let him come to the shop and return the paint. Of course, I talked to my boss about it, and he didn't seem overly pleased, but still.

On top of all of this, I managed to hit the buttons wrong so the wrong amount of money was hit up. I only gave him back what he should get, and it was fine, but the MONEY WERE WRONG. You know. Like when you count all the money at the end of the day, it's wrong and stuff? Yes? WELL THAT HAPPENED.

So, I left the shop feeling pretty idiotic about myself, having let my boss down. And I was dreading what would happen at work the following day. AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE FEELING. I hated it. It was my fault, yes, but I also noticed that I was angry with my boss, because HELLO! I haven't gotten a scratch of tutorial guides and I've had to figure everything out on my own! And of course I was doomed to fail at some point, then! So yeah, it was bloody annoying and I felt stupid and worried. I still have my job, it's not that bad, but I really hated that feeling.

However, a good thing, there was this awesomely cute guy in the shop the same day, and he was just perfectly cool! So I liked him, and he brightened my day, even though it wasn't before he left that the day spiralled downhill

I THINK EVERYTHING IS FINE NOW, THOUGH! I CERTAINLY HOPE SO! BLEEEEEEESH! But I really felt like ranting a bit about it.

I just found out I lost my scholarship, and now I don't know what to do. There's hope that I can get it back, but I have to pay for everything until I do, which is hard considering I have no money. I just saw literally my entire future go down the drain. I DONT want to work at freakin Taco Bell for the rest of my life. I want something more for myself because I know that I'm capable of more than a fast food job. I just hope that things get better because right now, things are not good at all. And I know I'm going to get yelled at when my mom gets home. So I also have to deal with that. Awesome...

MY FRIEND FROM MY HEART CAMP HAD ANOTHER HEART SURGERY. THE DOCTOR MADE IT TOO WHERE SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE EVVVEERRR!!!! YAYAYAYAY

BAD RANT:

I have another friend from my heart camp. She's battled cancer three times now and beat it every time. She thought she was good for a while now, but she started getting depressed, and her parents sent her to this camp to help lift her spirits (which made her not come to my camp that I went to), but then she started feeling icky again. She went to have some blood work done, and her test came out that she has cancer again. Some of the girls facetimed her at camp, and one of my counselors is really good friends with her, and she basically said that she lied to everybody. She's NOT ok, no matter how many times she told the girls she was talking to she was. The other counselor said she sounded really tired. We know she's a fighter. She's gonna make it through this time...right? (I hope so... Oh God I really hope so.)

I'M JUST REALLY REALLY STRESSED FOR A BUNCH OF REASONS AND PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME EXAMS ARE OVER AND I SHOULD BE HAPPY AND I'M JUST BEING DRAMATIC AND THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT.

USUALLY I CAN JUST TALK TO MY BEST FRIEND BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME BUT NOW SHE'S OFF IN SPAIN ON A FANCY HOLIDAY WITH HER RICH, RICH FAMILY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE REALLY RICH. AND I HAVE NO MONEY. AND I WASTE IT BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS WANT TO DO STUFF AT THE WEEKEND WHICH I CAN'T AFFORD, AND SOMETIMES I DON'T GO AND MAKE UP AN EXCUSE WHICH JUST MAKES THEM ANNOYED.

AND MY MAM IS BEING HORRIBLE AGAIN BECAUSE SHE GOT ME THESE CONCERT TICKETS BUT THEN THE NEXT DAY SHE WAS BACK TO LAZING AROUND, MOANING ABOUT HER LIFE AND MAKING ME DO EVERYTHING.

AND WORK IS SHIT BECAUSE MY BOSS THINKS THAT THE SHOP MIGHT SHUT DOWN SOON BECAUSE IT ISN'T DOING WELL WHICH WILL LEAVE ME WITH NO WAY TO GET MONEY FOR DRIVING LESSONS AND UNI AND MY FUCKING FRIENDS. BUT HOPEFULLY THAT WON'T HAPPEN BUT I'M PREPARING FOR THE WORST. IT'S REALLY LIKELY THAT I WON'T GET ANOTHER JOB THOUGH BECAUSE I'M AN IMMIGRANT WITH NO HELPFUL EXPERIENCE OR QUALIFICATIONS. I ONLY GOT THIS JOB BECAUSE FAMILY CONNECTIONS SO I BETTER CROSS MY FINGERS THAT IT DOESN'T SHUT DOWN.

AND ON MONDAY I GO BACK TO SCHOOL WHICH IS BAD, BECAUSE AT LEAST AT WORK I DON'T REALLY DO ANYTHING. AND I HAVE LOADS MORE SHIFTS AT WORK THE NEXT FEW MONTHS SO WITH COURSEWORK AND OTHER SHIT ON TOP I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL COPE.

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP, AND EAT, AND NOT GO TO WORK OR SCHOOL, AND NOT HAVE TO BE DOING HOUSEWORK AND COOKING AND STUFF.

things where looking so shitty just a few weeks ago. Thought I wasn't able to go back to school for reasons i would rather not discuss, and my mom was being extra harsh on me about finding jobs without a college degree and such. But as it turns out, the reason I wasn't going to go back to school was a mistake on their end, and found out I could still go! So that's one plus. I'm just taking two classes at the moment, but it's better than not going back at all.

Also, today I started asking around about babysitting jobs, and just two hours into my search, I had texted my friend who just had a baby, and she said she would be looking for a babysitter some time soon like march soon, and Well, I just so happened to offer myself up for the job! So now I'm going to school, working at Taco Bell, AND might get to watch a three month old baby on top of everything! How cool is that!?