Archive

Welcome to the 5th Edition of “Stuff That Sucks”, where I post pictures of the most asinine things I’ve seen lately. And make fun of them for being ridiculous.

Limited Edition Strawberries and and Tomatoes, hey? Let me guess: limited to as many as you can grow, import, and sell each season? Clever marketing pitch, but how stupid must we be to think that we’ll never see strawberries or tomatoes like these again after they’re gone?

Well, they’ve finally done it. After years of being gouged by billion-dollar oil companies on the price of gas, they’ve chosen a new product that we can’t live without to pillage us on. Yes, the fine people at Shell (and some others too), have decided to now charge us for AIR. You know, OXYGEN, the element we all depend on to breathe and survive. I’m sure the argument is that it’s to offset the price of operating their little machine, but come on now. So the next time you have a flat tire, or feel that the air you’re breathing around you at the car-exhaust-laden refueling station isn’t clean enough for you to ingest, you’ll have to pony up 50¢ to get your fill, taxes included.

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers: have you noticed yourself become to fat to fit your pants from eating at our in-store McDonald’s too often, but don’t want to buy new pants based purely on pride? Your days of living in shame are over — pick up the Perfect Button beside the check-out aisle, and EXTEND THE WAIST OF YOUR PANTS to quench your blood-flow-restricting issue.

I don’t know about you, but if I was a kid who was having academic trouble in school, and could benefit from the assistance of a tutor, I can’t imagine that Kumon, the one whose name looks like it’s pronounced like “c’mon“, as in “c’mon, idiot, why don’t you get this, it’s easy“, and features a confused happy-face-like caricature as it’s logo, would be at the top of my list as comfortable choices. These kids are probably not exactly swimming in self-confidence already; is this really what you want to call your business?

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I mean, why even put this sign up in the first place? You’re better than that, Future Shop.

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