What is an American? Apparently an Australian Dentist!

So, as I was stumbling the internet, I came upon this pro-America article. Now I enjoy my civil liberties as much as the next person, but this is plain hilarious. When I was telling my friend, Brendan, about it, I said it was like this guy was speaking with an American flag waving in the background, bald eagles and fighter jets with red, white and blue smoke coming out of them flying over head, orphan children humming the national anthem while holding cute puppies and right after they are done, they will all be adopted and have full scholarships to ivy league schools. Take a look for yourself and we can react together!

So, Americans can be any ethnicity. Yep, go figure. I think this also applies to the rest of the world. Yes we are known as “The Melting Pot”. I think this is probably because we just killed off most of the natives, interbred with the rest and lo and behold, a country empty of natives- ready to be filled with everyone else.

There are 2,350,000 Muslims in the US (.8% of the pop). 99% of Afghans are Muslim- 31,571,023. Now, I know these stats are according to to wikipedia, but come on, they DEF have more Muslims than we do. Way to go, doc.

“An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God” Do I have to answer to god too? Cuz I don’t have a whole lot to say to him, I don’t think.

We have money? Many a year ago when I was in high school, we have 14 trillion dollars in debt. Now I know I’m old and that was nearing five yrs ago, but I don’t think we’re rich yet. (I’m assuming this article was also written not too long after I graduated high school so it makes even more sense)

We’re generous too? I think we just have agendas.. if not then we, private citizens, could have ended world hunger and since our government can borrow without paying back, the government could at least end the people in our own country dying of hunger. Instead we are wasting funding on turning the world into a “democracy”, warring on drugs (pot will kill you, you know) and letting all the illegals in.

We’re the best? Flattering, but once again I’ll have to disagree. Best products? We get everything from China, so China, you’re the best! Best books? http://www.nytimes.com/pages/books/bestseller/ Tell me how many of them are American. I know for a fact they all aren’t. Best music? How many British Invasions have we had? Best food? When was the last time you had NATIVE American food? (no the tortilla on your burrito from Taco Bell doesn’t count) Best athletes? Like everything else, we seem to steal from other countries.

The national symbol is from France. This is the same country we hated after 9/11 so much we ended up with freedom fries and toast (even though both are from Belgium and it is a cooking method. Yes America, you’re a genius).

September 11th was in 2002 now? Because I remember sitting in my Latin class freshmen yr in 2001 watching the second plane hit the Tower and figuring I was going to die being between a sub base (one of the absolute top sub schools in the country), Millstone Nuclear Power Plant, General Dynamics/Electric Boat (huge government contracts, top on the east coast), Pfizers and various other smaller bits that might be important to people blowing up the country.

The WORLD Trade Center had people from various countries. Go figure. And I’m from a country with terrorist (don’t try to deny it, our country fucks people up daily- be it military, religious, anything), no one is holding it against me!

Hitler didn’t attack us, we joined WWII much after the start of it. MacArthur gave the orders to arrest General Tōjō, who was killed for war crimes. I might be missing some of my history, but what is now Russia was part of the Allied force in WWII and as far as I can recall, Russia never killed Americans. Stalin was pretty much about killing his own people. Laboring to death is fun for the whole family! Mao Tse-Tung was also all about killing his own people by the millions. China doesn’t equal America, right? Or does it now… And what is with this “every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world”? America has only been around since 1776, so that’s 233 years. The world has lasted much longer than 233 years and believe me, there are been many more tyrants before 1776 than there has been since.

Call me a strictist here, but I think we have this criteria for becoming an citizen (unless you’re an illegal Mexican). Everyone is a world citizen, not an American. We’re fucked up, don’t be like us. Realize the human spirit is something that exists in us, not in some BS country! We’re a country built on ideals, yet we started from a bunch of religiously oppressed Christians who were too radical for England, we had slavery longer than any other Western country, Black soldiers in WWII stayed in France because they were less racist, we still can’t seem to respect Vietnam Vets or Vets in general half the time, we invade countries to spread our crazy concepts, we claim religious freedom but can’t respect any religious except Christianity and sometimes Judaism, we think all brown people bombed the Twin Towers and most of the country doesn’t allow gay marriage (more even more extreme). Oh, don’t forget, we wanted the world to stop when the towers were hit, yet some countries have that daily and we don’t care.

Please, take your human spirit, be a world citizen and make some change.