13 women on how to have awesome sex while you’re pregnant

Having sex while pregnant—especially if it’s your first—might not seem, well, ideal: It could sometimes sound difficult, uncomfortable, and even scary if you’re worried about hurting your baby. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to give up on sex for nine whole months, and you shouldn’t. In fact, many couples say pregnancy made them the horniest they have ever been (some science indicates that extra-high oxytocin levels make you feel more lusty). If that’s the case for you, consider this your nine-month survival manual.

Kelly Connell, a sex health educator and counselor says it’s normal not to be sure where to start or what to do when it comes to getting frisky when you have a bump. “Couples may just need to re-think what they’ve always done,” she says. “For example, if you’ve always done male on top missionary, that may not be ideal for all women with growing bellies.” But ultimately, it’s about playing around and experimenting to see what feels good (and what’s physically possible) in bed when you’re pregs. Since we figured the best sources would be the women who’ve actually accomplished this, we asked 13 to share their top pregnancy sex tips, below.

Doggy’s a Do

“Doggy style is always the best. Regardless of how big you’re getting, it’s an easy position for the both of you.” –Laura, 354, Jersey City, NJ

Play Dress-Up

“I always like being on top, even when I wasn’t pregnant. But looking down at my large belly and swollen breasts at times made me insecure. So, I’d wear sexy lingerie—something that flows over my tummy. It helped me focus more on getting off.” –Ashley, 32, Pittsburgh

Take Things Over the Edge

“The larger you get the harder sex becomes. I scoot down to the edge of the bed so I’m on my back with my rear at the end of the bed. Then, my boyfriend will stand while holding my ankles in the air.” –Shavon, 28, New York City

Image: Tom Medvedich

Break Out the Toys

“If you weren’t into sex toys before pregnancy, maybe it’s time to start. Since the clitoris can be very sensitive during pregnancy, I use my vibrator by myself and with my partner.” –Julie, 28, Hoboken, NJ

Cowgirl in a Chair

“Straddling your partner in the chair in reverse position so you’re facing away from your lover can also be pleasurable. Hold onto a table if you need help with support or balance.” –Connell, 30, New York City

Don’t Let the Nips Slip

“Every pregnancy has been different. My first, I wanted sex all the time and my third, I didn’t even want to be touched. What worked when I did and didn’t want it was having him gently rub my nipples because of how sensitive they were. That always turned me on.” –Meghan, 40, Raleigh, NC

Massage First, Please

“Massages or anything to get you to relax helps. In the beginning, I felt like any kind of sex act would hurt my baby. There is a joke that if your baby comes out with dimples it’s because the man was poking the baby during sex.” –Emma, 34, Raleigh, NC

Embrace the Experiment

“One of my best memories of my four pregnancies was how sexually awake I became. You’re forced to try new positions to find what works. When your partner is on top, have him be upright and brace your legs against his chest. Pregnancy is also a good time to try out the oversized rectangle pillows which support the low back while lifting your hips.” –Wendy Strgar, Eugene, OR

Kegel it Out

“I did Kegel exercises regularly. After having not done them in my first pregnancy, I found that in my second, doing them makes it easier to orgasm.” –Tina, 37, Washington, D.C.

Be Open to Oral and Anal

“I became a bigger fan of oral and anal sex since becoming pregnant. I guess that’s because I got paranoid that regular sex would hurt the baby! Now I love it all!” –Paige, 31, New York City

Get Dreamy

“When I went to the hospital to deliver my baby, the doctor asked if I just had sex. I didn’t. but had been having so many kinky dreams during my pregnancy, I orgasmed in my sleep! Sometimes sexual fantasy is all you need!” –Jill, 36, Winston-Salem, NC

Use Pillows as Props

“Finding a comfortable position during sex becomes challenging as your belly grows. Pillows and wedges can help! Place it behind your back, under your belly or find a way that works for you.” –Claire Cavanah, Seattle

If All Else Fails, Go With Lazy Spoons

“The spoon position with both of us on our sides and him entering from behind worked well—even when tired, I didn’t have to do much moving around.” –Lindsay, 36, Raleigh, NC