When The Reflection Lies

Distortion of truth is one of the mainstays of patriarchy. It thrives on women believing that their sole values lies in their ability to attract and keep men. It keeps women competing with each other for male attention and continually devalues our contributions to society.

From birth it is reinforced that our value lies in our physical beauty and when that is threatened, some women loose all sense of self. This is why when women find their voice and assert their individuality and agency, men immediately attack our physicality. Suddenly we are ugly hairy man-hating feminists. The taunt of ugly is meant to unsex us and leave us begging for redemption. If feminine is the binary opposite of masculine, to be declared ‘unwoman’ is to be constructed as a man without the power of patriarchal privilege. It is to be understood as the under appreciated female eunuch.

The moment when you realize that you are whole person, equal to a man, with needs wants and abilities, nothing about your outward appearance changes. You don’t suddenly become grotesque but in the eyes of patriarchy what made you woman is fundamentally gone and in its place is a harridan that refuses to be ruled.

Just as you have suddenly had a moment of self realization you must resist this new mask that patriarchy is choosing to attach to your identity. Referring to women as ugly ball busting bitches is an attempt to discipline our behaviour and has nothing to do with our level of attractiveness. It is nothing more than a tactic of war.

If you own the identity of the ugly unappealing woman, you are not really valuing yourself or living up to feminist ideals. The reflection in the mirror is not the real you but the distorted image of womanhood that patriarchy wants you to see. Rejecting the patriarchal reflections is not an easy thing to do because when you enter the social world, everything around will reinforce the idea that your body is need of improvement. It may be your weight, your hair, or even your smell, ‘woman’ is never a complete project.

Turn your feminist eyes on your nude body and reconstruct from a place of matriarchal power and inner fortitude. Revel in what you have been taught to see as flaws. Recreate yourself from a place of love and strength because every inch of you is beauty reincarnate. Woman is the giver and nurturer of life. Woman is a being of mystery and strength. Woman is you.

When you hear the call to feminism and answer with an open mind and open heart the reflection that you have spent a lifetime viewing will fade away, and in its place will appear one that is not created from a male lens. Embracing feminism is about learning what is best and worst about ourselves and finding love irregardless. For the first time the mirror will reflect the truth of your identity, because it is created by you.