There is a line of thinking that says the '50s film based on Jules Verne's
novel "Around the World in 80 Days" was overblown with its storm of brief
Hollywood star turns. If so, the 2004 remake, a vehicle for esteemed comic
actor/martial artist Jackie Chan, is downright puny. There's talent
involved, including some bright British actors and comedians and a few
unexpected faces (Ah-nold?) directed by Frank Coraci ("The Wedding Singer").
Yet, it amounts to little more than a bland diversion for kiddies and
Chan-fans, who may be bored after 30 minutes, let alone 80 days. Elements of
the tale are familiar: In Victorian England, adventurer Phileas Fogg wagers
he can circle the globe in no more than 80 days. Rather than have Fogg go on
his whirlwind tour with his French valet Passepartout as in the book, this
version's valet is Chinese hero Lau Xing (Chan) who reacquires his village's
stolen Buddha by stealing it back from a vault in the Bank of England.
Hiding from the authorities, Lau passes himself off as nutty inventor Fogg's
new assistant, and they hit the road, police and ninjas in pursuit. Wry
Steve Coogan ("24 Hour Party People") plays Fogg. Given decent material,
Coogan can be hilarious. With uninspired dialogue to spout, he and co-stars
including Jim Broadbent, Rob Schneider, Kathy Bates and John Cleese strain
for laughs where there are none.