I'd like to first of all start off by saying that incase you haven't already heard the news, I will be running all of the Hot Seat 2 events that are outside of the United States this upcoming year as well as adding to those dates an extra Bonus Day to the people who sign up during the official launch period that ends FEBRUARY 8th, 2012.

And this Bonus Day will feature the new Foundations Reloaded seminar as well as a complete breakdown of some of my own INFIELD FOOTAGE.

CLICK ON THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY SEEN THE OFFICIAL PREVIEW FOR THIS EVENT:

I'm currently in Los Angeles right now. I'm spending my last few days here mostly editing the last few video clips that I have as well as getting ready to head over to Chicago this weekend with Tyler to run another Free Tour, Hot Seat 2 and Bootcamp!

This is also one of the last events that we'll be doing together here in the United States for quite a while... The other two being in New York and in Miami before I finally leave for Amsterdam, the first city that's on my World Tour schedule this year.

And what I thought I would share with you today is probably one of the biggest epiphanies that I've had this past year and that is something that has also really affected every single aspect of my current view on social dynamics as well as the way that I now interact with women in general.

That concept being that trying to hook any particular set is something that has now become obsolete.

It has now become one of the old ways of doing things.

A thing of the past...

Have you ever caught yourself scanning the environment that you're in for women that you think are worth approaching by your own standards?

Have you ever caught yourself placing any kind of external value on women or even trying to rate them in terms of their physical appearance?

And have you ever caught yourself changing the way you're acting and expressing yourself around women based on what that rating is?

Have you ever caught yourself trying to "hook" any particular set?

MOST IMPORTANTLY, ARE YOU THE BUYER OR THE SELLER IN THE DYNAMIC OF THE INTERACTION?

I remember when I was first starting out in all of this, a little over five years ago now back in Switzerland. And I would be going out night after night and I would probably be spending most of my time during those nights just looking for someone that I would think would be worth approaching instead of actually approaching them.

I would be spending most of time seeking out what I would have thought were the right women to be approaching in the current social context instead of actually taking right action and interacting with them.

I would basically be thinking to myself that if I was going to be putting in all of this effort and emotional investment on my part that I was going to make sure that the women that I was going to approach were worth it beforehand.

Some examples of this would have been:

- She would have had to be physically attractive enough in order for me to be perceived as having certain standards and to increase my perceived social value in the current environment.

- She would have had to be alone or with no more than one or two female friends in order to make it mentally easier for me to approach as well as to decrease the chances of being ridiculed by someone else in the environment.

- She would also have had to be somewhere that is logistically approachable in the environment. I would never have approached her if she was walking down the street or if she was on the dance floor where the music is too loud.

And the list goes on...

Now, in all of these situations that I described here above am I the buyer or the seller?

I am the seller.

If you really break the dynamic of the interaction down in each and every one of these situations I would be coming from the frame of trying to sell myself to the women that I would be approaching and interacting with.

I would be placing all of the value externally onto her and I would be trying to sell myself to her by trying to live up to her standards.

And this is the definition of trying to "hook" a set.

Trying to sell yourself to her.

What it basically means is that you're walking up to her and trying to sell yourself in hopes that she might "purchase" you.

That she might “buy” you.

And in the rare cases where she actually does, then you've successfully demonstrated your value to her and you've made your sale.

You've successfully "hooked" her.

SO, WHAT ABOUT BEING THE BUYER?

As a naturally attractive man, EVERY single woman should feel attracted to you no matter what the circumstances are.

Of course this doesn't mean that every woman is going to sleep with you, and nor should they. But they should still feel a certain degree of attraction towards you nonetheless.

Every woman should feel attracted to you regardless of what her social situation is.

If you're unable to attract a physically unattractive woman for example, how are you going to feel comfortable and emotionally unreactive attracting the women that you're actually physically attracted to?

You will not be able to.

You will be consciously or even unconsciously putting them on a pedestal by placing all of the value onto them and you will then fall back into the seller dynamic of the interaction once again.

And what this introduces is the concept of SUCKING THEM INTO YOUR OWN REALITY as opposed to TRYING TO HOOK THEM.

CLICK ON THIS VIDEO RIGHT NOW THAT I RECORDED A FEW WEEKS AGO AT THE LOS ANGELES FREE TOUR THAT EXPLAINS SOME OF THE WAYS THAT YOU CAN SUCK HER INTO YOUR OWN REALITY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, REFOCUSING HER RETICULAR ACTIVATION SYSTEM SOLELY ONTO YOU:

You make the switch from pinging off of the environment that's around you to pinging off of yourself.

It becomes something that is now about you and not the women that you're interacting with as you are now the buyer in the dynamic of the interaction.

It's a celebration of yourself.

It's a celebration of you. (Cf. Tim)

The catch phrase that I like to use for this is:"Celebrate me, with me."

When I go out nowadays and interact with women it doesn't matter if she is physically attractive or physically unattractive to me, because the value is now solely placed on myself.

It changes the way that you view the interaction to being something that is about that feminine energy that is being constantly thrown onto you and that fuels all of the fun that you're having in your reality, as opposed to trying to adapt to the value that you place on the women that you think are worth interacting with.

Are you really going to say no to a woman who is offering you to "celebrate you, with you" if you do not find her attractive?

Of course not!

Now this doesn't mean that you have to sleep with her or that you should pretend to feel attracted to her as it will come off as being very patronizing and inauthentic but she should still feel drawn into you.

She should still want to join and experience your own fun and be sucked into your own reality.

She should still want to join that celebration of yourself.

You're having your own fun and you're focusing on sucking everyone that you're interacting with into your own reality and only then do you chose the one or ones that you actually do want.

You are the one who now “purchases” them.

And this is what hooking a set is about.

By being the buyer in the dynamic of the interaction and switching from basing your reality externally and pinging off of the environment that's around you to drawing state from within and pinging off of yourself, you now become that grounding source of masculine polarity that she can emotionally attach herself onto.

There is no more emotional stress unnecessary worry about finding those women who you think are worth approaching because all of the value is now placed onto you.

And there is no more fear of opening up by putting your real personality on the line and thinking that you might not be good enough for her and that she might not "purchase" you.

By being the buyer and not the seller in you completely change your view of literally every single aspect of the interaction and the place that it's coming from.

It changes the way that your thoughts, words and actions are expressed.

It also gives a new meaning to certain concepts and ways that you can achieve this such as Self Amusement, Building Social Momentum and Acting Through Your Own Intentions.

This is how you make all of these concepts actually work for you.

You're not trying to "hook" the women that you're interacting with anymore and you can finally let go of that outcome and start expressing yourself in a more authentic way.

It has now become something that is stress-free and fun for you and by the law of state transfer she will be feeling those same exact emotions that you're feeling and she will then be sucked into your own reality and hooked onto you.

It all becomes something that is about you and about what you're experiencing that you can then share with the women that you're interacting with.

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I like zombie movies and karaoke. My first attempts at talking about this stuff has not really done anything. The girls just stand there looking at me.

Are you suppose to maul the girl at the same time as you talk about things that interest you?

Haha Lol. You probably were not that passionate when talking about what you liked. You've got to put some strong emotions in there. Then you probably saw that she was unreactive and got into your head, and everything went down from there.

And what about if you go out and you don't want to talk about anything? I very often feel that way. Just happy to be in the environment, soaking it in. If a girl comes up and wants to party but I just want to say nothing or talk about something dry, will she be sucked into my reality? I doubt it. More likely she'll be disappointed and look for someone else.

So then I feel compelled to 'put on a show' - and that just comes off as try-hard, needy etc.

This is when routines, stacks etc would appear to be useful as they allow you to say stuff that is entertaining without making much effort.

The concepts in this video and article have come at a really good time for me. I really suffer from the "she's not hot enough" excuse to not approach and to chode out.

The concepts explained really demolish this mindset into pieces.

I've learnt that when I do that, I am risking ruining my buyer frame, because I've already made myself value her too much. I've already decided that I want her. Therefore, I become attached to whether or not she likes me when I approach...so I start "selling" myself to her.

Instead, I really need to learn to be sociable with EVERYONE. That way, I learn to "express rather than impress" and therefore draw state from within, suck them in regardless of how hot they are, and only THEN escalate it further if I find them attractive.

And what about if you go out and you don't want to talk about anything? I very often feel that way. Just happy to be in the environment, soaking it in. If a girl comes up and wants to party but I just want to say nothing or talk about something dry, will she be sucked into my reality? I doubt it. More likely she'll be disappointed and look for someone else.

So then I feel compelled to 'put on a show' - and that just comes off as try-hard, needy etc.

This is when routines, stacks etc would appear to be useful as they allow you to say stuff that is entertaining without making much effort.

Your thoughts please!

Julian I think it's awesome that you are now blogging and I was wandering if you could answer some of my questions.

Please answer the one above and in addition mine.

you appear to be observing more than teaching. When you say don't ping off your environment, act through your own intentions or be true to yourself, you seem to be describing the way you feel when you are successful, but leaving out the "how to". How is this different than saying, "be confident", "be yourself" or "just get in the zone and all your problems will autocorrect"? None of us want to ping off of our environment and all of us want to act true to ourselves but "how" do we actually do this? As self help demonstrates it's one thing to say "think positive" and a whole another thing to actually become positive. Likewise it's one thing to say "don't ping off your environement" and quite another to stop pinging off your environment.

Essentially you are describing the way you feel when you are in the zone. I would likely describe my feelings in a similar fashion. If I followed your model state dependant memory would tell me that if I'm not in the zone then I will never be able to pick up a girl. However there are guys who are good with girls all the time, regardless of the state they are in. Maybe they need momentum to pull, but at the same time they are successful in their interactions with women without the zone.

I think you could help more people if you described the cognition that must be changed to become a man who doesn't ping off of his environment.
What do you change in yourself to become a buyer instead of a seller?

I've tried to be the buyer instead of the seller and do you know what happens? I logically analyze the situation and try to determine whether I'm being the seller or the buyer, meanwhile my emotions are over riding my logic. Next when the interaction doesn't work in my favor I rationalize that it was because I wasn't being the seller. Thinking about being the seller doesn't do anything for me, can you explain the actuall changes you made to your game as a result of understanding this concept?

This works aswell in the loud dance floor where all the women gravitate to. When you dance for the sake of your own enjoyment, even if you suck at it, girls tend to get sucked in to your reality. Once you stop caring what people think of you crappy dancing, girls will be attracted by you because you are self amusing, relaxed, and comfortable. This is all achieved because you do not care what other people think of your dancing or trying to impress them. It is very ironic to me when you focus on self amusment and exclude trying to impress others ... they gravitate to you.

I like zombie movies and karaoke. My first attempts at talking about this stuff has not really done anything. The girls just stand there looking at me.

Are you suppose to maul the girl at the same time as you talk about things that interest you?

A few thoughts..

1) Are you hitting up TONS of girls or just trying it on a FEW and then drawing conclusions?

2) Are you like "I'm talking about what *I* like.... Is it *working*? Are the girls *liking* that I'm talking about stuff that *I* like??"

And yeah you can also go physical as you do this, but it's more about SUCKING them in by your utter self amusement and irreverence. It's pretty hard to resist man, like when ANYONE does this. Try to take notice when you see other people sucking YOU in and think about why.

This whole "Its all about yourself" thing will come to an end if you keep growing.

Hey bro some feedback...

I'm taking a guess you may be referring to ideas like Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" where he talks about the peak of maturity being INTERDEPENDENT relationships, as opposed to just independent.

The ultimate sign of maturity is being able to work with other people -- ie: life NOT just being about YOU.

To build RSD we've had to work as a team. Everything you see here is pure *TEAM*.

There's a time and a place for everything though. When first picking up a girl it's a CELEBRATION OF YOU. Then if she fucks you and you wind up getting to know eachother it may be a celebration of US.

Just remember though that only a cheeseball approaches a woman with a vibe of wanting to form a relationship with her right away. That's something you build towards after sex. She has to prove she has good chemistry with you, she's a good kisser, good in bed, fun to hang out with on a day2, not a whiner or complainer, etc, before you start making it anything other than a "celebration of you".

Make her earn it. No need to slide out of your own zone for a girl who hasn't yet proved herself over a period of time. Make sense? :)

LOL well World Summit is usually held in the Venetian but Las Vegas Free Tours and Hot Seats are usually just a tiny lil turnout and we do them more for fun, so most likely it will be infamous CIRCUS CIRCUS or something like that. :)

The cool side is it doesn't matter at all and it's also super intimate.

Tyler

Waginator wrote:

Absolutely excited for vegas! Can't wait to discover where the event is actually bring held at...woooo!

Jordanfan wrote:
you appear to be observing more than teaching. When you say don't ping off your environment, act through your own intentions or be true to yourself, you seem to be describing the way you feel when you are successful, but leaving out the "how to". How is this different than saying, "be confident", "be yourself" or "just get in the zone and all your problems will autocorrect"? None of us want to ping off of our environment and all of us want to act true to ourselves but "how" do we actually do this? As self help demonstrates it's one thing to say "think positive" and a whole another thing to actually become positive. Likewise it's one thing to say "don't ping off your environement" and quite another to stop pinging off your environment.

Essentially you are describing the way you feel when you are in the zone. I would likely describe my feelings in a similar fashion. If I followed your model state dependant memory would tell me that if I'm not in the zone then I will never be able to pick up a girl. However there are guys who are good with girls all the time, regardless of the state they are in. Maybe they need momentum to pull, but at the same time they are successful in their interactions with women without the zone.

--

Honestly I would just take it for what it is -- a FREE lil 6 minute article that covers a few ideas for "infotainment". If you want the whole shebang of steps of "how to" and all that it may turn up in certain videos or others, but it's not like every damned vid we put out on the front is gonna be that thorough. We just sort of put them out ofor fun to be honest -- they're meant to entertain guys who go out a lot on a topic they enjoy, nothing more.

As far as guys who pull no matter what state they're in, I think it's a MIX. The video I showed on the frontpage of the Hot Seat 2 site where I pulled that girlie despite being out of state would be an example -- YES you CAN pull while out of state, but it's not the most consistent.

Like in that case I found a girl that night. Cool. But if I'd been "in state" it obviously would be a hundred times more in my favour. Bottom line is don't sit there analyzing it and creating additional layers of resistance -- like some lil idiot going "I'm out of state....I can't approach...I'm out of state..." that's just stupid.

The bottom line is accept your CURRENT perfection as well as hold the vision for your FUTURE perfection. Accept yourself fully in the moment while simultaneously working to improve whatever you can be. Etc etc.

And what about if you go out and you don't want to talk about anything? I very often feel that way. Just happy to be in the environment, soaking it in. If a girl comes up and wants to party but I just want to say nothing or talk about something dry, will she be sucked into my reality? I doubt it. More likely she'll be disappointed and look for someone else.

So then I feel compelled to 'put on a show' - and that just comes off as try-hard, needy etc.

This is when routines, stacks etc would appear to be useful as they allow you to say stuff that is entertaining without making much effort.

Your thoughts please!

Try approaching without talking.

Use the 'hand of god' opener where you just stick your hand out, pull the girl in, then start dancing with her or making funny faces at her.

Talk a bit but just bob your head to the music or whatever the hell it is you wanna do. You can do full interactions from open to close with very little talking as long as it's with YOUR intent and not some creepy lil SECRET METHOD you think is gonna get a good reaction to validate you.

OTOH if you REALLY just wanna do NOTHING - well sorry homie, that's just fucken lame you can't expect a girl to fuck you if you're just navel gazing that's ridiculous.

And what about if you go out and you don't want to talk about anything? I very often feel that way. Just happy to be in the environment, soaking it in. If a girl comes up and wants to party but I just want to say nothing or talk about something dry, will she be sucked into my reality? I doubt it. More likely she'll be disappointed and look for someone else.

So then I feel compelled to 'put on a show' - and that just comes off as try-hard, needy etc.

This is when routines, stacks etc would appear to be useful as they allow you to say stuff that is entertaining without making much effort.

Your thoughts please!

Try approaching without talking.

Use the 'hand of god' opener where you just stick your hand out, pull the girl in, then start dancing with her or making funny faces at her.

Talk a bit but just bob your head to the music or whatever the hell it is you wanna do. You can do full interactions from open to close with very little talking as long as it's with YOUR intent and not some creepy lil SECRET METHOD you think is gonna get a good reaction to validate you.

OTOH if you REALLY just wanna do NOTHING - well sorry homie, that's just fucken lame you can't expect a girl to fuck you if you're just navel gazing that's ridiculous.

I think this is awesome. For me personally, I have had a few nights being in that CRAZY, PURE SELF-AMUSEMENT zone, and was unsure of if what to make of it, but hearing how you described it confirmed it for me that this is what I need to be aiming for every night. Because once you have that, logistics is the next hurdle, and that can be sorted much easier than neediness can.

Pure out flow of value, saying whatever, eclipsing all chodes, obstacles, etc. It's similar to a child-like appreciation for life, where you are just high off your own awesomness. Negativity is choked out, girls only see YOU.

The issue now is how to GENUINELY duplicate that, and not fall into validation seeking headspace while trying.

"You make the switch from pinging off of the environment that's around you to pinging off of yourself."
I was at this talk in LA, which was awesome by the way. This one point changed my reality. It used to be o, i might get rejected...o i can't go up to her right now, she might not wanna talk...ect. bs.

Then it became. It's all about my flow, tuning into what I really feel like doing. Not pinging off the environment at all for your flow and your actions. I don't care if she likes me or not, i just care that i'm expressing myself thorugh my speech and my actions.

It's exactly what Tyler says here, "And yeah you can also go physical as you do this, but it's more about SUCKING them in by your utter self amusement and irreverence. It's pretty hard to resist man, like when ANYONE does this." Such awesome stuff guys. You get into that place where you are so present that you don't even know what you're going to say or do.

It's like your mind says..."I'm going up to see what awesome shit I'm about to say and do. I don't even know what's gonna come through me."

mmm, sweet, I can relate to this.
the moment you don't wanna talk to fatties means you're sucking it up from environment and then you have to talk to them to turn it all around, damn fatties have it best, they're fat but still get cool guys talking to them, while male chodes get nothing, not even fatties. those fatties should donate to rsd or something, 'coz my guess is there're many guys who accidentally fuck the warm ups maybe. maybe even raw.

When I'm pinging off myself it usually correlates with a few things you could maybe try too:

1) I've worked damned hard at work and I've cleared the decks with personal shit that needs to get sorted so there is no unconcious crap floating around in my head eg 'I'm out, but I should be doing task a'.
2) I've been eating, sleeping and exercsing, so I have shitloads of energy.
3) I've been meditating regularly
4) I've been working on my innergame by reading shit
5) I warm up whether it be joking around with friends or strangers in the queue, shouting, singing etc for a few minutes before opening sets
6) Doing a few warm up sets
7) Hitting the dancefloor and owning it for a few minutes before opening sets

The first four may just be specific to me, but I'd do anything to be awesome and I have had comments from friends telling me I'm a machine/monster/unstoppable and I'd credit the first four to this.

The last three are where it's at. Some dudes use a limited amount of acohol to achieve the last three. That's not for me and I tend to DRINK when I drink and I get the success goes up/standards go down scenario.

It's important for me not to hang around in the final three for too long and not take action because then I end up just being in my head and a bit gay.
Tyler wrote:

Tyler wrote:

Jordanfan wrote:
you appear to be observing more than teaching. When you say don't ping off your environment, act through your own intentions or be true to yourself, you seem to be describing the way you feel when you are successful, but leaving out the "how to". How is this different than saying, "be confident", "be yourself" or "just get in the zone and all your problems will autocorrect"? None of us want to ping off of our environment and all of us want to act true to ourselves but "how" do we actually do this? As self help demonstrates it's one thing to say "think positive" and a whole another thing to actually become positive. Likewise it's one thing to say "don't ping off your environement" and quite another to stop pinging off your environment.

Essentially you are describing the way you feel when you are in the zone. I would likely describe my feelings in a similar fashion. If I followed your model state dependant memory would tell me that if I'm not in the zone then I will never be able to pick up a girl. However there are guys who are good with girls all the time, regardless of the state they are in. Maybe they need momentum to pull, but at the same time they are successful in their interactions with women without the zone.

--

Honestly I would just take it for what it is -- a FREE lil 6 minute article that covers a few ideas for "infotainment". If you want the whole shebang of steps of "how to" and all that it may turn up in certain videos or others, but it's not like every damned vid we put out on the front is gonna be that thorough. We just sort of put them out ofor fun to be honest -- they're meant to entertain guys who go out a lot on a topic they enjoy, nothing more.

As far as guys who pull no matter what state they're in, I think it's a MIX. The video I showed on the frontpage of the Hot Seat 2 site where I pulled that girlie despite being out of state would be an example -- YES you CAN pull while out of state, but it's not the most consistent.

Like in that case I found a girl that night. Cool. But if I'd been "in state" it obviously would be a hundred times more in my favour. Bottom line is don't sit there analyzing it and creating additional layers of resistance -- like some lil idiot going "I'm out of state....I can't approach...I'm out of state..." that's just stupid.

The bottom line is accept your CURRENT perfection as well as hold the vision for your FUTURE perfection. Accept yourself fully in the moment while simultaneously working to improve whatever you can be. Etc etc.

And what about if you go out and you don't want to talk about anything? I very often feel that way. Just happy to be in the environment, soaking it in. If a girl comes up and wants to party but I just want to say nothing or talk about something dry, will she be sucked into my reality? I doubt it. More likely she'll be disappointed and look for someone else.

So then I feel compelled to 'put on a show' - and that just comes off as try-hard, needy etc.

This is when routines, stacks etc would appear to be useful as they allow you to say stuff that is entertaining without making much effort.

Your thoughts please!

Try approaching without talking.

Use the 'hand of god' opener where you just stick your hand out, pull the girl in, then start dancing with her or making funny faces at her.

Talk a bit but just bob your head to the music or whatever the hell it is you wanna do. You can do full interactions from open to close with very little talking as long as it's with YOUR intent and not some creepy lil SECRET METHOD you think is gonna get a good reaction to validate you.

OTOH if you REALLY just wanna do NOTHING - well sorry homie, that's just fucken lame you can't expect a girl to fuck you if you're just navel gazing that's ridiculous.

Tyler

The 'Hand of God' opener - now that is something that appeals to me! I could see myself doing that. I feel instinctively that doing that and just holding, looking at the girl and smiling or whatever could work very powerfully. I just never knew it was "alllowed" if you know what I mean? I have so many ideas in my head about how it should be done, that instinct seems to take a back seat. It is regarded as too risky, too dangerous, when in fact, it is probably the key missing ingredient!

I also have an annoying tendancy to break eye contact/ spirtual connection with girls! Pretty girls I trained myself at a young age to not acknowledge their beauty (as a way to retain some power over them) of course you realize later that that is what every lamo does and in fact it's far better to actually allow yourself to enjoy looking at their beauty and not look away when they see what you're doing. The other day I did this and the girl seemed to really like it, stopping to give me a smile when I walked past her later in the venue.

It's that social rules / being in your head/ second guessing yourself bullshit that makes it all such hard work when naturally it wouldn't be at all.

Also wanted to say I think the questions and answers in the comments section seem to have gotten more fruitfu in recent months. Enjoy reading them alllllmost as much as watching the videos.

Maybe someday soon I'll actually go out and do a fucking approach!! :D

Quick question: I seem to be in quite a funk. What if I've convinced myself that going out and meeting girls isn't the right thing for me right now? Is that bullshit? I am still pretty fresh out of relationship, with no lingering feelings, I'm just like...what do I need a girl for right now? More of THAT? The idea is that I need to go to the gym and work and address things about myself that have gone unattended to for too long. Thoughts?

Sure, makes perfect sense. There is a difference however between giving your power away and focusing on someone else without an egoic desire standing in the way. When you start out, I agree, you have to be all about yourself, it is your movie, your celebration etc. but in my experience the need to uphold this grand self image eventually becomes sort of a burden. I am not saying to not be self - centered, but when I hear Julien say things like 0% of what he says is for the girl and 100 % is for himself, I am wondering if this really puts people in the right direction.

For people supplicating and trying to impress I think this is perfect but if you have been in this for a while and actually want to get to know the person you are interacting with and create a deep connection, not only draw them into your reality, this does not really resonate. Now, I am not here to say what you are doing is wrong or anything, I have learned A LOT from you guys and I am nothing but grateful but part of me knows that "success" with women is much much deeper than cultivating godlike abilities to draw them into your reality.

Tyler wrote:

GaryBusey wrote:

This whole "Its all about yourself" thing will come to an end if you keep growing.

Hey bro some feedback...

I'm taking a guess you may be referring to ideas like Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" where he talks about the peak of maturity being INTERDEPENDENT relationships, as opposed to just independent.

The ultimate sign of maturity is being able to work with other people -- ie: life NOT just being about YOU.

To build RSD we've had to work as a team. Everything you see here is pure *TEAM*.

There's a time and a place for everything though. When first picking up a girl it's a CELEBRATION OF YOU. Then if she fucks you and you wind up getting to know eachother it may be a celebration of US.

Just remember though that only a cheeseball approaches a woman with a vibe of wanting to form a relationship with her right away. That's something you build towards after sex. She has to prove she has good chemistry with you, she's a good kisser, good in bed, fun to hang out with on a day2, not a whiner or complainer, etc, before you start making it anything other than a "celebration of you".

Make her earn it. No need to slide out of your own zone for a girl who hasn't yet proved herself over a period of time. Make sense? :)