My guest today is Dr. Jonice Webb, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Lexington, MA, specializing in work with couples and families. She has been featured on NPR and on many radio shows and online magazines. She’s here to deepen our understanding of what childhood emotional neglect (CEN) really is. CEN is hard to understand because it’s about what DIDN’T happen in childhood, and even though it can be subtle and invisible, CEN has a tremendous impact on many individuals. Our conversation will cover how CEN shows up, how to recognize its effects, and how we can begin the healing process. Join us!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

Jonice always knew she would be a psychologist and has since worked in many mental health settings.

Her “passion within a passion”

CEN became a very common factor in many clients

What is CEN? It occurs when parents don’t validate or respond enough to the emotional needs of a child

How CEN differs from child abuse

Examples of parents within CEN:

A self-focused parent who looks in the mirror and not at their child

Well-meaning, permissive parents who set no limits and seek to be “buddies” with their child

Parents who are either absent or preoccupied

The biggest problem in recovering from CEN? Not wanting to blame parents, so we blame ourselves

Characteristics in adulthood of CEN:

Struggling to feel grounded

Being excessive caretakers, putting themselves last

Having extreme guilt and shame around feelings

Feeling unconnected, adrift, and alone

Growing up where emotions (good and bad) are not allowed and celebrated

The first piece of recovery: recognizing and owning the CEN

The biggest myth around CEN? That only BAD parents emotionally neglect children

First steps in healing: acknowledgment and reclaiming emotions

“Like a cake without sugar”

Resources:

www.emotionalneglect.com (Sign up for Jonice’s newsletter and online CEN recovery program. Also, check out her blog on Psych Central.)