Microsoft’s personal digital assistant wants to help, but maybe she’s embarrassed or confused by your requests. Now you’ll know exactly how she feels—if you read this chart. Perhaps.

Hey, Cortana: You're supposed to be making life simpler--at least, when helping people use Microsoft's Windows Phone and Windows 10.

But noooo. Microsoft just had to muck things up. In a Tuesday blog post, Marcus Ash (who bears the unwieldy title of Group Program Manager for Cortana and Search on the Windows PC, Phone and Tablet Group), revealed that the Cortana UI--that blue, pulsating halo--now expresses 18 different moods, and half of them are inscrutable. Just like a human being.

In fact, if you look closely at the chart of Cortana's emotions, above, half of the "mood rings" look exactly alike. You can't really tell which emotion she's expressing. So, now we can't just ask Cortana to do something without also having to wonder, Did I just embarrass her? Is she laughing at me or with me?

But we at PCWorld are here to help. Here's our guide to the 18 moods of Cortana to help you interpret exactly what she thinks of your stupid request.

1. Calm Is your being suffused with calm? So is Cortana's, if you see her halo looking like this.

2. Optimistic Do I feel lucky? Cortana does, if she has a lighter ring outside a darker ring on her halo. Got that?

3. Reminder Cortana won't let you forget, as long as you can remember what this halo pattern means.

4. Title FlipChange is exciting, and Cortana clearly enjoys her title flips as much as the next personal digital assistant.

5. Sensitive V2Awwww Cortana cares! This is Sensitive V2, not to be confused with Title Flip above, or Sensitive V1 later in the list.

6. Abashed OMG Cortana can't believe you just said that! But don't you think this icon actually looks more like Title Flip?

7. Alert It's Cortana's turn to say hey! She's ready! Are you?

8. Bouncy Finally, a Cortana mood ring that actually kind of looks like what it means.

9. Need More Sooooo.....this is similar to Abashed, but why? Sorry, but ya gotta give me more than that, says Cortana, or I can't answer your question.