Voodoo, Pixies, & Magic in Merlin Woods

Peculiar is the only word I can think of to describe a rather bizarre experience that I had on Saturday afternoon. I’m not sure if perhaps I drank one too many coffees, was under the weather, banged my head, or if it was the bargain priced mustard from Aldi, that I had liberally slathered over my ham and cheese sandwich, that led to the following tale in Merlin Woods that I am about to relate to you, dear reader. Whether it was some form of hallucination, some momentary lapse of any sensible notions of reality, or whatever, I am not sure, but the one thing I am sure of is that the whole experience felt very real.

I enter Merlin Woods and the first thing I encounter is a washing line with some soiled linen. This is very peculiar, I think, as linen on a washing line should surely be clean, and not dirty, as this clearly is.

In the next instant, I look up and see some kind of human sized fairy sitting in a chair with a very bewildering look across her face. I decide the best course of action is to run and I unwittingly head deeper into the forest in my blind panic.

I wander around, dazed and confused, for quite some time, and I wonder if I am doomed to be lost in these forest glades for eternity. Then, out of nowhere, I hear high pitched giggling to my left and a pair of smiling pixies materialise, greet me, and beckon me to follow in the direction which they point.

Along this path I encounter some form of pixie tree with magic crystals strewn around it. I pick one up and that’s when things really start to get strange.

I’m wandering through the woods when suddenly the trees start speaking to me in English, but with Polish accents!! They describe their relationship with the forest and what it means to them.

At this point I think things couldn’t possibly get any weirder, but then they do. In the distance I hear a hypnotic drum beat and I feel like I have been transported hundreds of years back in time and am witnessing some kind of monstrous and demonic pagan parade, the leader of which is a young woman who is quite obviously possessed by spirits.

After what seems like an eternity in some kind of bizarre cross-dimensional limbo, I find myself back at home, sipping a cup of tea and suspect that the whole experience was some kind of bizarre dream.

But I think I shall stay away from the Aldi mustard in the future, just in case.