Criticize is not a way for improvement

Advancement vs. Comparison

Did you tell yourself that your child was born to be a winner? Jenny is my friend who makes use of all opportunities to tell everyone that her kid is the smartest person in the universe.

Jenny: Amy (her kid) is god damn smart. She started to talk early, learned faster than his classmates, and achieved the highest grade among the peers…

Me: Well, yes, Amy is smart. I have no doubt about this.

Jenny: That’s all you say? Your baby is also a genius. She can catch up with the others if you help her scheduling more learning classes before it’s too late.

Me: Lighten up! Some people do very well in school and you think they will be superstars…they aren’t. You see some people who are written off but achieve tremendous things...

When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Comparing the child with others foster the negative emotion of envy or jealousy. Criticize the child from comparing with others is not a way for improvement to the child development. He would go through his live, at a deep core, that he is not good enough.

Even worse, our schooling system tries to tell the children that the world operates in the race for achieving the high rank. If it is a race, the point is to win. You have to win over the ones next to you and beat down everyone else to move up. If you are not up, then you will be out. Children are get used to evaluating people and objects by compare and contrast, not by their substances. The true is no one can win everyone all the time. Just like a running horse, some of the time it can run very fast, some other time it would run slower. What is more important is the endeavor for the self-improvement and personal advancement.Speed is not the point because It is not a race but is a journey. A journey to take the responsibilities in which they excel and ask for help when they are struggling.

Imagine you are walking a snail. The snail is moving very slow and frustrate to catch up in baby steps. You push it. blame it and yelling at it. And the snail stares at you in regret as if to tell you “I’ve already done my best!” You continue to pull it and kick it.The snail is hurt, sweating and choking. And it is moving forward, slowly. The joyful time spends together become so hard on each other.

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