I met someone new back in October. We've kept in touch and plan to try dating. We've delayed things some due to some medical stuff on his end he had to straighten out (I don't want to get into that in too much detail here because it's not my stuff to share). But, now that that's been mostly squared away we're back on track. And I'm realizing I'm kind of terrified to get close to somebody. I realized this earlier today and it's just been nagging me. I've dated a few guys and it always ended badly. The most recent one was particularly rough and it took me a long time to get over.

This guy so far is very honest and open, very sweet, very kind. He hasn't given me any reason to doubt or mistrust him. But still, the idea of opening myself up for romance is super scary. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want this guy to be another lesson I have to learn.

That's all. I'm just scared and am trying to push past it. I just had to get this out somewhere. Words of encouragement are appreciated.

"Passion. It lies in all of us. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl."

There will always be the nervous side, take things slow and just go on a few dates and see how it grows. Don't put yourself in a situation you don't want to be in, you and only you know what makes you happy.

I met someone new back in October. We've kept in touch and plan to try dating. We've delayed things some due to some medical stuff on his end he had to straighten out (I don't want to get into that in too much detail here because it's not my stuff to share). But, now that that's been mostly squared away we're back on track. And I'm realizing I'm kind of terrified to get close to somebody. I realized this earlier today and it's just been nagging me. I've dated a few guys and it always ended badly. The most recent one was particularly rough and it took me a long time to get over.

This guy so far is very honest and open, very sweet, very kind. He hasn't given me any reason to doubt or mistrust him. But still, the idea of opening myself up for romance is super scary. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want this guy to be another lesson I have to learn.

That's all. I'm just scared and am trying to push past it. I just had to get this out somewhere. Words of encouragement are appreciated.

I agree with everything Ravens has mentioned.. It's ok to take it slowly. You need to build up trust again and that is ok. if he feels the same he wont mind that you want to take it slowly
I always think it's good to make it known at the beginning, a talk about what your future plans are, what are his, and whilst mentioning ex's never goes down well, you can still talk to him about it
It's ok to feel this way, it doesn't mean anything other than you have been through so much and you're now stepping out of your comfort zone .. so to speak..... I think taking it slowly, dates first ... it will likely work in your favour. :o)

Good luck

Sam

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - A. A. Milne

Went on vacation in the place where I met the guy in question in this original post. He hasn't talked to me - or anyone really - in 4 or 5 months. Just dropped off the grid (due to mental illness is my best guess). I had to sort of write him off and move on, and it sucks. Because it's not like we were in a relationship, so I can't really explain it to people. But I had someone new in my life and I was happy about that. And this vacation was tough because I thought about him a lot and wondered how he was. And no one really knows, but we're fairly certain he's not okay. At this point it's not even a romance thing. I just want him to find his way and be alright.

"Passion. It lies in all of us. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl."