Hello there, I think you should look up things in the internet for things you can do in that area while on vacation whether it be bingo/cinema/swimming just anything to relax your mind. I hope you can get through this. Your feeling is your heart isn't the right decision.

Do you want friends? I ask because I am the type of person who doesn't actually care whether I have friends or not (in real life) but I do.
Or do you prefer being alone? If you prefer to have friends then make a positive step forward to try and make some (hugs)