On HBO’s Real Time, host Bill Maher ripped into religious fundamentalists of all stripes, from ISIS to evangelical Christians.

Beginning with terrorist group ISIS — which recently banned pigeon breeding and racing out of fears that devoted Muslims might see the bird’s private parts as they fly over — Maher said they probably have bigger fish to fry than that.

“If you’re banning pigeon breeding — as ISIS did because the sight of their genitalia as they fly overhead is offensive to Islam — you’ve got bigger problems than the infidel,” he explained. “Pigeons are harmless and take flight the moment they’re startled. No wait, that’s the Iraqi army.”

He move into Christians saying, “Conservatives who continually whine that Christianity is under attack from liberals, have to explain why there are over 300,000 churches in the U.S. and but only 400 Whole Foods. Clearly your side is winning.”

Sharing an assortment of stills of conservative Republicans complaining that Christianity is under attack, Maher said that credit for all of the attacks on Christianity should go to himself.

“This idea that everybody on the left is plotting against Christianity and wants to wipe out religion is offensive. — to me,” he exclaimed. “I’m the only media figure with a show, week in and week out, that says that. I’ll be damned if the credit goes to the left when I’m doing all the heavy lifting.”

Maher also took a dig at New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s appearance in overly tight baseball pants at a charity game this week, saying the charity’s efforts must be directed at “turning women into lesbians.”

About the Author

Tom Boggioni is based in the quaint seaside community of Pacific Beach in less quaint San Diego. He writes about politics, media, culture, and other annoyances. Mostly he spends his days at the beach gazing at the horizon waiting for the end of the world, or the sun to go down. Whichever comes first.