Two neutral language patterns I use often when influencing others are “given that…” and “in order to…”

Using “given that” allows the speaker to bring into the conversation all the driving forces behind the topic. “In order to” helps to engage help and involvement from the other party. Here’s an example from a conversation between two people, one of which is aiming to influence the other to adopt a particular course of action:

“given that you have been looking for an opportunity to develop your management skills I thought this project would offer you exactly that.” “In order for you to be able to do that we would need to free some of your time. Given that, who would you suggest could pick up the XYZ process whilst you concentrated on the project.”
“Given the short time scale before the project starts and in order to let Operations know who our representative is in time, please let me know your thoughts by the end of tomorrow.”

I class this as neutral language because there is no bias in its use (i.e. persuasion). It is powefully influencial however by its use of linked assertive statements.

It works extremely well in ‘difficult’ discussions. Parents can use it with children around 9+ too.

What do you think about these patterns?

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About...

Vincent Cornelius MAC* Active as a coach for over 20 years* Member of the Association for Coaching (MAC)* Member of the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC)* Work in Higher Education (De Montfort University) as a staff developer* MD of Morpheus Coaching Consultancy