“Ooh la la!” Cunty Butler had her phone wedged in between her legs. “Dick Simmons, I didn’t know your runs were so tittilating. Mon Dieu!”

“What was that?” Dick Simmons’ nose was wedged as close as possible to the passenger mirror of a nearby car. “Hey, watch out for the hair!” he said, dodging a spoonful of guacamole that had arced over him.

“I actually managed to stay upright!” Twerxes announced proudly. “It’s a Dos de Mayos miracle!” At that very moment, Just Jackie rounded the corner, closing in towards the keg. In slow motion, her foot landed on a perfectly placed condom, fully loaded with a special present for the hash. The squelch could be heard for miles, and the backsplash covered nearly everyone. Twerxes shuddered. “On second thought, I wish I hadn’t.”

“Cum Crusher!” yelled Buck Fucka, and the crowd hurrahed in unison, until they realized they were still covered in splooge and should probably fix that.

“Ew, ew, ew,” groused Wee Wee Wee All the Way Home. She and Double Dildo Dick My Daddy began to remove their jackets.