Star Wars with occasional sarcasm

Santa Maul suggests pretty, shiny things to lure unsuspecting victims

It is with a distinct lack of regret that Santa Maul admits he is suffering from ennui this holiday season. After all, what could be more festive than utter boredom? Santa Maul has seen it all.

So naturally, he turns to flowers. Santa Maul’s friend Bright Copper Penny is creating Star Wars themed ‘Penny Blossoms’ for these who desire to feel pretty or witty or whatever.

For those with crasser tastes geared towards base metals, there is always the assorted Lord of the Rings paraphernalia, such as earrings or the actual One Ring. (Sold out, of course.)

Less apt to get one hunted down by particularly dim Ringwraiths is the ‘European-style charm bracelet,’ which is slightly less tacky and significantly more geeky than the versions Santa Maul has seen plastered on billboards in his travels.

For those who do not fall for the allure of shiny things, Santa Maul recommends the Han Solo in Carbonite business card case and Death Star ice mold. Santa Maul freezes his with ball bearings before putting it in the Maul family holiday punch bowl – it’s always fun to see which of his dim-witted bisected cousins ends up swallowing the most.