When Sharon Osbourne gets a breast reduction, you’ll NEVER guess what she plans on doing with her left-over implants!

We’re not sure whether we should laugh or throw up. Kelly Osbourne’s mom, Sharon, is getting surgery to reduce her 34DD chest by two cup sizes, and instead of throwing away her implants, she’s giving them away as gifts!

“I’m going to give one to [my husband] Ozzy to put by the side of his bed as a paperweight,” the 57-year-old reality matriarch told the Sun about her impending July surgery, adding that she’s bequeathing the other ‘cup’ to a PR hotshot friend to use as a “stressbuster.”

Sharon, we give you props for creativity, but still, we’d prefer if you DIDN’T give us a birthday present this year!