When Justin Verlander isn’t pitching (throwing no-hitters and winning the Cy Young and MVP awards), he’s either golfing, riding in racecars, appearing on Conan, eating Taco Bell, perfectly predicting the outcome of the Super Bowl, tweeting, orrrr – deep breath – promoting MLB 2k12, the video game of which he’ll be gracing the cover.

Yeah, he’s pretty awesome, as he explains in the below promo wherein Verlander claims he’s trying to be the most perfect, like it’s not already the case:

‘Hey, Justin, how do you do it?’ Well, I’m part cheetah, part ninja, that’s how. In fact, I’m a ninja riding a cheetah.”

Can you imagine Justin Verlander, ninja-ace, riding in from the bullpen after warm ups on a fucking cheetah? Jacob Turner gets to carry a Hello Kitty backpack and Verlander gets to ride a mohawked cheetah that rips through the limbs of Central Division foes, and Gerald Laird if he misbehaves.