Long gone are the days when expectant mothers labored alone in tiny hospital rooms while their cigar-clutching husbands paced in the waiting room. The last few decades have seen a dramatic shift in the landscape of labor and delivery. Today's moms are updating their Facebook status and Tweeting through labor with their partner by their side.

To better understand the state of birth in America today, we asked more than a thousand moms to tell us about their experiences. How common are epidurals? Are partners truly helpful in the delivery room? Do women find labor to be as difficult as they expected? Read on to find out!

Thumbs up on healthcare

Good news for the birthing profession: Nearly 90 percent of BabyCenter moms were satisfied with their primary prenatal caregivers, with almost two-thirds calling themselves "very satisfied." Women who used a midwife reported the highest levels of satisfaction, although many patients of ob-gyns were happy as well: 72 percent of women who used midwives reported being very satisfied versus 62 percent of those who used an ob-gyn as a primary caregiver.

While it's not all peaches and cream -- 20 percent of moms wished their caregiver had more time for them, and 13 percent wished their caregiver had been more informative -- a full 60 percent said they wouldn't have changed anything at all about their prenatal care. Moms also felt good about their hospital or birth center, with 86 percent saying they were satisfied.

Obstetricians are by far the most popular choice for care: 76 percent of survey participants went this route, while 15 percent saw a midwife and 9 percent saw providers from other disciplines. Never underestimate the power of good old mom networking -- personal referral was the most popular method used to find a provider, followed by insurance referrals.

My six-word birth story

Can you distill your labor and birth experience down to just six words? These moms did! Find out what they had to say about their big day. See all videos

Sitting (or lying or squatting) pretty

Many women had a beauty treatment or two before delivery day: 65 percent shaved their legs, 40 percent shaved their bikini area, 28 percent got a manicure or pedicure, and 14 percent had their hair done.

While two-thirds of women didn't do anything extra to improve their appearance for giving birth, 15 percent used herbal tea or other herbal remedies, 12 percent had a massage, and 9 percent saw a chiropractor.

Thinking of getting a massage or some other personal indulgence? In retrospect, 27 percent of women said they wished they had gotten a spa treatment or massage before birth.

Giving birth: It's not so bad!

Hear one too many birth horror stories, and it's only natural to fear you're in for a difficult ride. But remember: It's statistics -- not personal anecdotes -- that tell the complete story. And our stats suggest labor isn't quite so terrible, or so scary, as you might think.

In fact, 41 percent of moms found labor easier than they expected, and 43 percent had shorter labors. Compare this with only 25 percent who found it harder and 28 percent whose labors were longer than expected, and you'll see why you have good reason to relax about your upcoming birthing day. "I prepared myself for horror, pain, misery, and I ended up loving the entire process," one mom told us.

While fear definitely rears its head before labor, half the moms in our survey said they were actually more excited than scared. If this doesn't apply to you, you're not alone, though: 24 percent of moms were more scared than excited, while 26 percent felt equal parts excitement and fear.

Fears ran the gamut from medical complications to pain to (as one mom put it), "How will we take care of this tiny human being?" Luckily, many of these fears didn't quite come to pass. "My biggest fear about birth was the loss of privacy," said one mom. "But what I found out was that after a certain number of hours with people coming in and checking you, your privacy is long gone before the baby even comes." As another mom put it, somewhat more bluntly, "What surprised me most about birth is that you really don't care who's looking at your vajayjay"

Pathways through pain

There's no getting around it: Even if you're an experienced hot coal walker, labor usually involves at least some pain. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), it's impossible to predict how much pain you'll have. And our survey data made one thing crystal clear -- the labor experience varies widely from woman to woman.

"I was prepared for one intense pain, but instead it was Baskin-Robbins 31 flavors of pain, each equally intense," one mom told us. Another mom said, "I had a pain-free birth! My water broke, they started me on Pitocin, and I had an epidural an hour later. Never felt any pain -- even during pushing."

Hey, no one ever said labor was democratic. A lucky 26 percent experienced less pain than they'd expected, 34 percent had more pain than they expected, and 40 percent of moms experienced about as much pain as they'd anticipated.

The good news? If you do experience pain, relief is available. Indeed, 62 percent of our survey participants received an epidural.

"Thanks to the epidural, I felt no pain and was able to enjoy the entire labor experience," one mom said. While there were definitely exceptions -- "Epidurals don't work for everyone, including me," another mom cautioned -- almost two-thirds of women reported that their epidurals were "very effective."

Among natural pain-management techniques, breathing exercises were the most popular, with three-quarters of women using them. "I was surprised by how much the breathing helped," said one mom. Other popular techniques included position changes, rocking, walking, sitting or leaning over an exercise ball, and massage. Somewhat less common -- but still useful to many -- included soaking in a tub, visualization, and listening to music.

Of course, labor isn't all Zen-like calm: 46 percent of moms cried, 23 percent cursed, and 12 percent got mad or yelled at their partners during labor. These behaviors may not be pretty, but if they help with the pain (and if you have a partner there to curse at), we say go for it.

Second time's a charm

If you already have a child, give your little one a bit of gratitude. Our findings suggest that the first child's birth often paves the way for an easier labor and delivery the next time around. For example, only 27 percent of veteran moms felt their labor was more painful than expected, as compared to 37 percent of first-timers.

Among first-timers, the average length of labor was 17 hours, compared with a breezy nine hours for the more seasoned moms. In fact, almost two-thirds of veteran moms reported that their most recent labor was the shortest one they'd had. "My first labor was 17 hours, and my second lasted three hours," reported one mom.

Those giving birth for the first time were more likely to plan for and receive an epidural (48 percent) than those who had given birth before (35 percent). Veteran moms, on the other hand, were more likely to plan for and have a natural birth (34 percent) than the first-timers (19 percent). Veteran moms were also less likely to tear, less likely to have an episiotomy, and more likely to use self-directed pushing rather than coached pushing.

As would be expected, a bit of fear going into labor was more common among the first-timers, which may account for this last little tidbit: Experienced moms were more likely to remember everything about their labor and delivery than the novices (73 percent versus 52 percent).

Lean on me

Maybe they didn't have to deal with nine months of heartburn, hemorrhoids, and lower back pain, but non-pregnant partners certainly pull their weight when it comes to birthing day. Most women (93 percent) had their partners with them in the delivery room, and 43 percent of our survey participants reported that their partners were their most helpful supports during the birth process -- above nurses, doctors, midwives, or doulas. "I don't think I would have been able to do it without my partner's support," one mom said.

Also, that stereotype of the pale-faced dad-to-be swooning on the delivery room floor? False. A whopping 85 percent of moms told us that their partners watched the baby come out, 71 percent cut the cord, and 96 percent neither fainted nor threw up. The most common reaction of partners to the baby's birth was a smile, and the second most common reaction -- everyone say "aww" -- was tears.

Finally, talk about going above and beyond: A fairly small percentage of women (19 percent) got a little somethin'-somethin' from their partners for their efforts. The most popular push present was jewelry, followed by flowers and chocolate.

Telling the world

Perhaps nothing has affected birth etiquette more than the social networking revolution. And considering that the topics of birth and labor used to be considered a bit, well, improper for public conversation, it's a true sign of the times that half of BabyCenter moms sent text messages or updated their status on social sites during labor.

First-timers were more likely to do this than veteran moms, perhaps because they didn't have to contend with a pair of curious little hands grabbing the crackberry ... uh, Blackberry. Or maybe it has something to do with the excitement level of new moms or the fact that labor can be longer the first time around!

The way we take care of the official birth announcement has also changed. Paper announcements certainly aren't obsolete -- 40 percent of survey participants used them -- but they're no longer at the top of the list.

Check it out: 76 percent of women announced their baby's birth by phone, 72 percent sent text messages, 72 percent posted updates on social networking sites, and 44 percent sent email announcements.

Postpartum pampering

Naturally, the major perk of birth is that dimpled bundle of joy in your arms. But that doesn't mean Mom doesn't deserve a few additional fringe benefits after all her hard work -- and many hospitals are stepping up to the pampering plate.

For example, 62 percent of our participants reported that their hospital offered room service. And we're not talking about rubbery meat and green Jell-O on a plastic tray; we're talking filet mignon and cheesecake ordered off a menu.

Mommy rules

Who do new moms turn to when they get home from the hospital with their bewildering, albeit cute, newborns? Their own mommies. 62 percent of women said that their own mothers were the most helpful outside support in those first post-hospital days, while only 8 percent bestowed this honor on their partner's mom.

A little over half of our participants had someone stay with them after the birth. In most cases (74 percent), this was their own mother, followed by their partner's mother (24 percent), their own father (19 percent), and their sister (13 percent). As reported by BabyCenter moms, the folks who came to stay were generally helpful, though 27 percent of new moms confessed that these visitors were more of a hassle than a help.

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