A Summer of Scruffy Living

It’s not often that I run into a post on FaceBook that is truly helpful, but a post on Scruffy Hospitality totally hit home. In the post, Robin Shreeve talks about her journey from “everything needs to be perfect” to embracing Scruffy Hospitality. Skip the dusting. Don’t worry about the pile of papers or the dirty dishes. Stop thinking that your home has to be white-glove-inspection-ready before you can invite friends for a visit. Nobody really cares!

As we prepare for a move from Minnesota to Mexico, I’m feeling the need to embrace Scruffy Hospitality and Scruffy Living – at least for this summer. It’s going to be messy. It’s going to feel chaotic. It’s going to make me crazy at times – and it’s going to be OKAY.

Piles of papers in the office

As I walked downstairs to the office and studio this morning, I took a deep breath. The desk is piled with papers from the trip to Lexington and Atlanta.

Sewing table piled with things that need a new home

The sewing table holds remnants from the roving collection that I shipped to a reader in California and piles of prepared-for-dye fabric earmarked for several of my friends.

Left-overs from the Quilter’s Garage Sale

One end of the worktable holds bins of stuff that didn’t sell at the big Quilter’s Garage Sale.

Samples that need to be “filed” for future events (among other stuff…)

The other work table is piled with samples that need to be “piled and filed” and some embroideries that I forgot to give to my friends when they were here on Monday.

My greatly-diminished fabric stash

Along with the mess, there is progress.

One shelf in the studio closet holds the small stash of fabric that is coming with me to Mexico. (That’s a big change from the colorful (and plentiful) stash that was there a few weeks ago.)

Open spaces in the studio storage units

And there are a few open cubby holes in the storage units under my work table. It’s a mess, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Owning My Scruffy Life

Mismatched glassware from a “scruffy” gathering

I’m not the tidiest person around, but almost 30 years of marriage to a certified neat nut – and the need to get our home ready to sell – make this Scruffy Living more than a little uncomfortable. But it is what it is – and I’m learning to go with the flow.

In spite of the messes, I invited my friends for a spontaneous gathering. They brought themselves, their own lawn chairs and something to share. We laughed, we ate, we enjoyed a lovely spring day. We shared a bottle of wine in mismatched glassware.

Nobody cared about the dust on the end tables or the crumbs on the tablecloth. Nobody cared about the glassware (or lack thereof). You know what? I think this summer of Scruffy Living will be just fine.

Your Turn

Comments

Your home on a scruffy day is a lot neater than mine on a good day.
Really enjoyed your impromptu get together but feeling a little
wistful that you really are moving! Have to keep in mind that I
really love visiting Mexico!

Thanks, Lynn! You didn’t wander downstairs into never-never land… The upstairs is generally neat thanks to Jack. You will definitely have to visit Chapala. Not a birding paradise, but a lovely community!

I love it! I’m a perfectionist neat freak who feels the need to be busy and “accomplishing” something every waking moment of every day. A couple of years ago that came to a screeching halt due to an injury, as I can’t do many of those perfectionist neat freak things any more. We live in the desert on the edge of town in a house where with every breeze brings dust from the desert a few feet away, and like you, I’m finding that “Scruffy Living” is not a deadly disease, but a liberating way of life! By the time that you have finished the journey that you are currently on, you may find that you never want to go back to the old way of living. Life happens and you must choose whether you want to spend it cleaning and making things perfect, or whether you want to live and enjoy the people and places that you are among in that moment.

P.S. All of those rolls (and boxes with rolls in them) of things that are stored in the “cubbies”below the cutting table, are stored tidily in a hanging closet organizer has plastic pockets all down each of the 2 sides. I can see them and get to them easily, they take up less space, and it leaves the cubbies for fabrics or bins for organizing other tools or supplies.

Thanks for the encouragement, Mary. It’s good to know that driven/busy-busy people can learn to slow down and learn to live with the messiness that comes with life. This will take some practice, but it will be good for me.

I learned to embrace “scruffy living” this past year when I hurt myself doing, of all things, a leg exercise! One thing led to another and one year ago (shy a few weeks) celebrates the onset of the most horrific daily pain and struggle I have ever endured, to a now healed, calm and renewed life. The incident led to five disc fusion and decompression. Although it was the most extensive and intense time of my physical life, it became the most spiritually rewarding time as well.

Being a nut about crumbs as long as I can remember, my dad bought my husband a dust buster when we were first married to clean up bread crumbs on the counter so he wouldn’t have to hear from me every time he broke open a loaf of uncut Italian bread which left an explosion of crumbs on the counter! It was a joke, of course, but anyone who has been in the wake of a crumb hater path knows how difficult it can be living with that type of person.

Since I was reduced to the couch last year because I couldn’t move, I have learned that leaving my socks on the counters and dishes in the sink really didn’t phase anyone. As a matter of fact, I I think I heard a sigh of relief in the silence I was now trading in for the constant racket I once expounded upon every time something was left “out of place”… What was the big deal all those years I do not know. But today is a new day, life is reduced to clean and decluttered counter tops that get that way when I feel like it. I don’t mind tidying up behind my children when the come to visit me! Those dishes mean they were in my home because they love me. I smile as I swipe crumbs from the counter now. Life is so much better when “scruffy”! That’s real life.

My art supplies have been reduced and if they are all together in like areas, that’s enough organization! I spent too many years straightening too tediously which reduced quality play time.

Thanks for sharing”scruffy living”. It truly is the only way to live!

Good luck with your move. Transitions can be a good thing. Look forward to hearing from you (in two weeks)!

Thanks for your lovely note, Judi. I’m glad that you were able to turn your difficult injury into a more relaxed way of living. I think we all benefit from taking time to look at our lives and how we spend our time. Are we doing the things that are really important? Or putting things off until everything is Pinterest-Perfect?

Reading the other comments helps me realize that I’m not the only one whose body decided that it was time for a change before “I” did! Mom always said that my first sentence was “I can do it myself”, and that has been my mantra ever since…..until last August. Ten months later, my house and garden get attention when I get to it. I’m working on balance and being open to new ways of doing things. I’m still not back in my studio, but that will come. I feel like I’ve lived several lives over the years. Another transition. It will be interesting to see what this one brings! I look forward to hearing about yours.

That’s a wise insight, Margaret. We need to listen when our body is trying to get our attention. I’ve been very good at ignoring those messages in the past, and that has Not Been A Good Thing. The older (and perhaps wiser) me is not anxious to go down that path again, especially in light of everything on my plate. I’m learning!!!

Scruffy works for me now! After a year or two of family members passing and us downsizing fro 2 large homes to one, due to retirement, we have stacked boxes from essentially 4 homes. Then I had an accident and spent 6 months in the hospital coming home with recovery and a walker and just one leg.
I’ve had to learn to do scruffy.
There are many things I am unable to do at all or only partially. I’ve also found I end up making multiple trips from one room to another either forgetting all I intended to move or being unable to carry everything. I’ve just recently felt like inviting friends over, but I am going to do so this summer even if we sit out in the blazing sun here in Texas! we actually have plenty of shade.

Oh goodness! Downsizing from ONE house is a lot of work — I don’t envy you your task — or the recovery from your accident. Definitely invite your friends, regardless of what’s going on in the house. Draw them in and feast on the warm feelings and support.

I too have embraced the “scruffy” lifestyle due to a pinched nerve in my right foot. It hurts to stand or walk. So dishes don’t get done until I can’t handle it anymore and the same with cleaning the house and mowing the lawn. Gardening also doesn’t happen as often as I’d like, but when it hurts to stand and walk, I’m just not going to do that if I don’t absolutely have to. Luckily the pain is not as great as it once was, but I didn’t like hearing the Foot Dr. tell me I’d probably have this for rest of my life. Crocs are the only shoes I can wear that don’t hurt. Needless to say, I have lots of pairs in lots of colors.

Mmmm… sounds like lots of us have reasons to let go and embrace “scruffy” living. Keep working on that foot, Marlyn. I’m betting that it can get better. And in the meantime, I love the idea of colorful shoes!

You are too kind, Jane. You can’t “work” in a studio when every horizontal space is covered! Jack is off visiting his son for the weekend, and I hope to make sense of said studio space. At least for a few days before I start on the next round of clearing stuff out. 😉

Hi Shelly, I too downsided for a move across the country. Although it seems overwhelming right now, sometime in the future you will realize that you don’t miss most of the things you got rid of. It clears up your studio, but also your head. We spend too much time organizing messes, when we know that we are much happier when we are creating those messes! Just keep at it. The end is in sight, Girl. Take a deep breath. Best wishes from Judith

Thanks for your lovely note, Judith. I totally agree that I won’t miss the things going out the door. They have needed to leave me for a long time. As each thing moves out the door to someone excited to have it, I feel lighter. One less thing that I “should” be doing something with!

Due to lots of different things, when we retired (and moved) last summer, I landed (with my 85 yr old mother) in our new home/state , 3 months ahead of my husband. Card board boxes everywhere and very little furniture. I just kept up my mantra ….” by September “. One morning, the 3 of us were having coffee on our back patio and my mom suddenly said … “you did it!” 10 months from 1st box packed to mostly settled. I’m still tweaking a bit. PATIENCE!!!!

Oh yes. One step at a time. At our meeting in Atlanta, Diane Conklin (my biz coach) held up a sign she keeps in her office. It was a saying by Pat Summit. “Left foot, right foot, BREATHE” I think I need to post that in every room in my house!

Thrilled for you that you decided to make the move South permanent! I have only two pieces of advise. First, when you hear your brain saying this and this and this has to get done NOW, ask yourself “what happens if if doesn’t?” The answer is almost always “nothing,” Second, hire a packer/organizer and give them directions and walk away. Let the pro decide what is feasible to ship to Mexico and how to creatively “dispose” of the things that don’t make the cut. You will not miss 99.9% of the stuff. Then, hire a house cleaning crew to get the house ready to sell. It is worth every penny. Just take yourself and you honey off on a mini-trip while the pros get the house ready to sell.