How to find yourself?

I feel lost right now. I have put everyones needs and wants before mine for so long. I have also always held back in fear of what people think of me. Now that I am not doing any of those things, I realised I don't really know myself. It's like I haven't been living my life. Like I was alseep for most of it.

Most Helpful Guy

Your feelings are understandable given your habits and fears. But feeling detached from your fundamental nature doesn't mean that you don't have one. I very much doubt that being concerned for others is contrary to that nature. You couldn't do it so long if it were foreign to you. I'm sure it plays a role. However, living according to the expectations of others is contrary to one's personal nature.

While you are learning who you are and what's meaningful to you, you have the opportunity to also bring in who and what you want to be. You're not starting from scratch, but you don't have so much vested in being a certain way. That problem inhibits most from real change and improvement. You are relatively free of this. I hope that you can live beyond your fears and become who you really want to be.

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Asker

By wants and needs I don't just mean helping people. I also meant all my life everyone has told me what to do, what decisions to make and order me around. Like my parents.

I see helping others as part of you character but not necessarily part of your wants and needs. It is time to find those out. That process is a combination of discovery and remaking yourself. It's a good thing you realize this now before you got into a relationship that forced you into the same sort of roles indefinitely.

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 2

I am kinda like you always putting others before me. But there is a time in life when you realize YOU have to do for yourself because no one cares for your good only yourself. Pick yourself up again and do what you enjoy. Be a strong and Independent women its one of the best feelings ever.