When texting one's drug dealer, certain rules of etiquette apply: Don't explicitly name the product. Keep any identifying personal details out of it. And make sure you're not accidentally texting your local sheriff. Whoops!

A teen in Helena, Montana committed that cardinal sin last week, sending a mobile missive to Sheriff Leo Dutton that is too hilarious not to blockquote:

"Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?"

Dutton, sadly, did not. But he did have the Missouri River Drug Task Force on speed dial. A sting was set up—during which the young perp fainted—although no citations were issued on account of the teen's dad being a "big, military-looking guy" who looked more than capable of issuing his own brand of justice back home. No, seriously.

So let this be a warning to all you tech-savvy hooligans out there: you're just a misplaced thumb away from turning your phone into evidence. And maybe don't have the authorities on speed dial. [Helena IR via MaximumPC]