Wednesday, December 13, 2006

i'd been looking forward to this show since the tickets went onsale. my old officemate boris got me into the secret machines when he would plug in his ipod and let 'em rip every day. always nice to be introduced to some new music! and i'd heard nothing but great things about their live shows, so i was really psyched for this gig. also, the band was playing "in the round." now, i've seen the masters of "in the round" play "in the round", and their name is def leppard. they could tear that shit up as long as they could disappear underneath the stage to piss, drink, fondle women, and blow lines-- all while rick allen played a 20 minute drum solo.

regardless... sold out show! but not quite! there was a computer error, so instead of the show being sold out, there were about 400 people there, and i couldn't get rid of my extra outside because no one showed up to try and get extras... i tried to convince a few friends to take the ticket, but no one was into it. monday nights are a hard sell. however, there was already a slew of buddies going (a couple had to bail due to illness), so we were in good company!

the stage setup for "in the round" was sort of like a self contained musical pod. the band faced each other (trio)- not the crowd. the speakers were set up in a circle facing the crowd. i can see this being a better fit in a bigger venue, but irving really wasn't ideal. square peg in a round hole so to speak... well, actually, vice versa. but it was a very cool setup that would work well at a place like... i dunno... the lake placid olympic hockey rink during snoe.down maybe? how bout that? that'd be SWEET!

i don't know the names of all of their songs or anything, but the show kicked some major fucking ass. they sounded great, some highlights were: sad and lonely, first wave intact, the road lead's where it's led, nowhere's gone... first wave intact was KILLER- long and drawn out- SOLID... and sad and lonely is one of my faves that they do, it's a HAPPY song. they are really a solid rock band- you don't see that around too often these days. i would recommend them to anyone who's into indie rock and jambands- because they definitely touch on both- in a highly skilled manner. seriously, their sound AND setup would be perfect for snoe.down... if only i were running things!

it's a shame there weren't more people packing the place, but the show rocked anyways. plenty of space to enjoy it all! go see this band, they ROCK! secret machines, irving plaza, 10/2/06: 9 HUZZAHS! definitely gonna see them again!!!

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

wow, this could be some sort of new record, it's over a month since this gig, but i feel some sort of guilt about not getting to it yet. once again, i'm 3 shows behind... i have no excuses other than i'm a lazy motherfucker.

i wasn't planning on going to this show! like- at all... i remember when the tickets went on sale, but waaaay too rich for my blood. besides, it was jay moran's (of diesel street king fame) birfday and we were all meeting up at the irish rogue for some drinkies to celebrate the existence of a true rocker! well, at around 3pm our plans changed when we got a mass email from jay...

----Guys…drinks are on…but I just got handed Eric Clapton tickets for tonight @ MSG from my boss. (SCHWEET!) That means I'll be there @ the Irish Rogue from 7pm - 8pm. I'm sorry for the late notice, and hope you all understand why I'm only going to be there for an hour.----to which i responded:----LUCKY FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!----

well, oddly enough, jay's buddy didn't want the extra ticket--- so the philantropist that he is, he offered it to me!!! ticket location??? 18th row on the floor??? HOLY FUCK! i was psyched. i've always wanted to see clapton live- i would have been fine with nosebleed seats- i mean, the ticket was free and all... but to be close enough to see the sweat dripping off his forehead (and we're not talking about cocaine sweat- just regular rock and roll sweat!)? GODDAMN!

well, first we hit the rogue to get as much drinks in the birthday boy as possible before we had to skedaddle down to the garden... done and done. it was a lovely walk through hell's kitchen, past the port authority, the old bellevue... good times. we made our way into the garden--- and when you are handed a free ticket for an amazing spot it's one thing... but when you walk out onto the floor at msg and are ushered closer and CLOSER TOWARDS the stage, it's a whoooole 'nother thing. sick. we got to the row and there were a bunch of vh1'ers there, which was pretty cool... except it just proved to me that this company DOES get perks--- so who the fuck gets to take advantage of them on a regular basis? cuz it certainly ain't me.

it was an interesting crowd surrounding us. next to us were a row of what looked like drunk retired NYPD (i can spot these a mile away- many of my friends parents have the same vibe)... drunk as hell, constantly WOOING at the top of their lungs, sweating their balls off (i didn't witness this last part), and definitely a couple on the verge of vomitting... and then they pull out a j and start smoking it! smelled somewhere in the mid range of shwag and decent. not that i'd know. anyways, they offered some to us and i passed cuz i only like the kind, bruh. so, then took care of THAT. oh, and directly in front of us- a somewhat creepy middle aged advertising exec and his booty candy, some chick that looked way older than she probably was (in the face), maybe an ESL case, and his hand smacking her ass to the beat for a good portion of the show. GUH-ROSS.

a VERY VERY nice surprise--- derek trucks was playing slide for the EC! no shit! i love this kid! we used to see him play up at the original higher ground in winooski YEAAAARS ago when he was like 16 or 18 or some barely legal age. he still looks exactly the same (probably learned a lot from his dad's lifestyle). he was sick, clapton let him shred it up for a while and the crowd totally appreciated it, which was great. he got a huuuuge response. even better surprise- the crypt keeper himself was on keys!!! chris stainton ROCKIN IT OUT! holy fuck!

anyways, sick sick show, good stuff. we missed the robert cray opening set, but it was well worth it to get jay nice, soused, and riled up!! awesome to see clapton before he dies! i can cross that one off the list- still gotta get to: neil young, elvis costello, and pete doherty (that's a joke, i don't give a damn about pete doherty). here's the setlist and download of the show!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

yes, this is severely delayed. i've been very busy driving myself nuts and falling behind on reviews. so this will be an abridged moe.down review- not as fresh or detailed as it would have been had i done it the week i had gotten back.

let's see, where do we start? well, i would have to say, let's start with:august 30, 2006:i wake up to a nasty feeling in my throat... it had been growing there for a few days... and when i looked in the mirror i realized that my right tonsil had grown to roughly the size of a firetruck-- and just as red... except, do fire trucks have pus running down the sides? i don't think so. my tonsil did. so i went to the doc... annnnnd, i had strep throat... wonderful. "but doc, i'm going camping..." "don't go." "hahahahaha... but doc, i'm going camping..." "you shouldn't go... but if you DO go... stay dry and warm." "okay."

did i mention hurricane ernesto was slowly moving towards upstate new york? it was. i got some antibiotics and realized that my weekend was already compromised. but fuck it, i always end up sick after moe.down anyways- out of my hands. but i'd have to behave myself.

august 31st, 2006:holy fuck, did my throat BURN. how do you go 7 years without having strep throat and then just pick it up one day right before the music festival you wait ALL YEAR for... i blame snakes on a plane and the union square stadium theater. can't figure out where else i would have picked it up... and the kicker? eugene didn't fucking get it!!! how does THAT happen? fucking immune system. regardless- i headed up to utica that night, like always, and we hotel'd it in order to get ready for...

september 1, 2006:IT BEGINS! we headed up to turin and got there at about 11am. stood in line in the parking lot for nearly an hour. lisa and 4dice took the wagon and claimed our land. same spot as last year. the old parking lot near the rv's. fuck crackville. just going back to visit is hard enough. and i didn't even do it this year, last year we did and got THE FEAR.we had unloaded and started setting up just as the dc crew arrived to do the same! awesome as always to see them, despite the lack of paul/megan duo. and then of course the JACKLEENS showed up, which is always a wonderful treat!!! no loughrey, sara, paul, or megan this year--- so we made a shrine for them...

this would be the best weather we'd get for the whole weekend. ernesto was approaching with slow fury. we were bunkering down and expecting the worst. tarps, bungees, binder clips, and all sorts of wind precautions abound. no one knew what to expect except the 90% chance of rain. ugh.

grace potter & the nocturnals sounded good, but i didn't go see them- i was saving my energy. the strep was really draining me physically and i was going to have to portion out my rockin' for the rest of the weekend. we were really looking forward to seeing page/fishman and that new project- the first song was okay... very promising. all downhill from there. it was really more of a boston-pops kind of thing. reminded me of when eisner summercamp used to bus us kiddies to tanglewood to try and get us to appreciate that shit... it was lackluster and i was incredibly disappointed. would have rather seen vida blue.

ran into brendan o'neal!!! WOOOOOOOT! LOVE YOU BRENDAN! holy fuck it's been a loooong time! brendan warned of the impending storm and i was hoping to see him more during the weekend's festivities... but no luck. :( just one brendan sighting. sadness.

moe.'s friday night set was okay. love godzilla, but it's more of a late night closer than anything else. plane crash- still don't like it. and good trip--- LOVE that song. :) that made me happy- but still- i was hoping they would really pull that shit out on friday night- especially cuz the weather for the next two nights was gonna be SHIT. just okay.

sleep on my side of the district was made difficult by the peeps next door who had taken either acid or coke and were up all fucking night talking and literally GUFFAWING at the top of their lungs. seriously- til 10am. no joke. however, apparently on the jackleens side of the district some chick had taken either too much or bad acid and flipped the fuck out-- glad i didn't hear any of that shit. apparently medics came, strapped her to a plank, and took her to the hospital to ride it out. good times! know your limit!

september 2, 2006:i awoke to the sounds of mr. marty racine... oh marty, my dear... what would i do without you? we got to spend some quality time together before the rain came... he came to the water faucet with me while i washed my hair (knew it was gonna be the only chance i had since the storm was quickly approaching). thank you for your kind indulgence marty, now you know the maintenence necessary for a jewfro. i heart you, my dear. you are the peachiest. :)

the rain started mid afternoon. i was really looking forward to moe.'s afternoon set because that's when i'm usually able to power up to the very front. glad i didn't this time because mid-way through the set, the tarp over the stage reached it's limit and POURED EVERYTHING IT HAD BEEN COLLECTING out over the front/center rows of people. rob laughed his ass off and then apologized for doing so. :)

akimbo, 32 things, and timmy. not bad. have seen them rock everything out more, but it was fine. i did enjoy this set. was looking forward to seeing umphrey's set at night, but i just didn't have the energy. strep was totally effecting my performance. i ended up napping through umphrey's in order to be able to rock out at moe. that night. also, it was pouring by then. the wind had definitely missed us, but the rain hadn't. so it was gonna take even more effort to stand on the hill in the rain for umphrey's and moe.

yolk in the beer tent! they still sound great- and they had awesome energy. nice seeing them after so long!!! really really really!!! good stuff! still think there should be a 'looking for answers?' reunion tour, but i'd settle for a reunion beer tent weekend.

evening moe. set highlights: george, the road, the pit. rebubula was kinda lame. sorry guys. i've heard better. was expecting more energy from the band and didn't get it. the hill was wet and starting to get a weeeee bit muddy. oh, and ps, i had managed to get al to say happy 30th birthday to hannon, but the fucker didn't come to the 2nd night set, so he missed it. download the show, you asshole!!! :)

oh the rain, the rain... oh the rum cake, the rum cake. see, i didn't DRINK any alcohol since i was on antibiotics... but i'm not made of steel. when katmama makes a rumcake, you EAT that motherfucker... you eat as MUCH as you can!!!! mmm... butter.. sugar... rum... and butter, sugar, and rum. dear lord. the sludgy goodness of a recipe gone insane.

september 3rd, 2006:marty came by again in the morning before he had to start his work shift. his tent had gotten soaked in the shitstorms overnight. he had briefly considered just showing up at mine but thought it might freak me out--- i told him it'd be okay but he slept in the back of his car instead. moron. what have we learned marty? there will always be room for you in my tent.

despite the weather and the madness that was slowly enfulfing our states of mind, we all managed to keep our shit together. the sun came out and the rain cleared very briefly during ziggy marley's set. i'm not a fan of his, so i enjoyed that weather out by our campsite and took a lot of pics. we had a quick connect 4 tournament in which master bach managed to kick everyone's asses... DAMN YOU, MATH TEACHER!!! DAMN YOUUU!!! and then we all got our shit together and headed over to the INCREDIBLY MUDDY hill (yes yes, i know this was nothing compared to coventry, but it was still fuckin' muddy yo!) to see mike gordon and ramble dove.

i think out of all of the phish guys, i've been enjoying mike's side projects the most. i liked trey's first album and tour, but since then i haven't been as into it. mike's stuff is fun and bluegrassy and it makes me happy. i enjoyed his set a lot, he had some kickass singers as well that really set the mood. we had to walk to/from/on the hill incredibly carefully- especially miss katmama who resigned to wear her sneakers instead of the wellington boots cuz they gave better ankle support. the rain was holding off, but we were all in our full gear--- and additionally put ponchos on for safety. so- me--- newly recoated goretex boots and jacket... with $1 poncho as an outerlayer. lots of people came even more prepared-- with rain pants! i'm totally investing for next year. i thought about it before leaving campmor this year, but thought it'd be overboard... but damn, great idea.

final 2 sets of moe... we were really all hoping they'd pull it ALL OUT for these, especially since we'd been patient in dealing with the shitty weather and mud all weekend... love punchline- still miss the old version... brent black, can't you hear me knockin, seat of my pants, rec chem... too late. they should have played these earlier on- friday/saturday. meh. by the time they played rec chem, rob's bass wasn't working properly and he ended up having jim pound some drumsticks on it to try and get sound... then right before the fireworks started and the lights went off, he kicked his bass, threw it to the ground and started smashing it until someone came and took it away from him. great rockstar moment. pissed off and possibly drunk. i love you rob derhak.

it was so damn cloudy we couldn't see the fireworks, but the whole fucking situation was so funny, i was at least laughing and embracing the absurdity of it all. sunny in nyc, sunny in syracuse-- ALL FUCKING DAY... but turin??? SLAMMED. fucking hurricanes.

september 4, 2006:i woke up really early and just decided to pack up my gear before it started raining again. it was pretty peaceful and familiar. the parking lot was for shit. the mud was so deep that they were towing people out with tractors. i had a good time 4 wheelin' it out of there in a subaru-- the mud was soooo deep... i was zig-zagging over the worst of it, the slipping and sliding was totally fun though. i felt like a kid playing in it. the road leading out of snow ridge was so caked in mud that it was slippery and the police were set up making sure people didn't try and drive too fast- hysterical!!! we got to slim's in boonville for our post-moe.down breakfast, like always... to sad news... steve irwin killed by a stingray. very sad. i almost cried. :( horrible horrible news.

regardless- dont want to end on a downer. moe.down 7? 7 HUZZAHS! i've been to all of 'em, this wasn't my favorite. but it was still moe.down and i still had fun. especially because of the group of folks we had camping. it was nice to be able to hang out with the dc folk more this year. and i can't wait to see everyone next year for moe.down 8: PAYBACK. i will be sending this request to the band as well, since i always harass them... but next year i would like to request: dana monteith and iowa 80, ween, primus, the secret machines (or for snoe.down 3), and stephen malkmus.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

my dear pal heinzy has somehow discovered my myspace blog and felt the need to send me an email in response to my black crowes PNC review from a couple of months ago:

Yo Lynn

Thanks to the internet, I can read into people's thoughts and words, thus,I have 9 reasons why corn cob pipes are cool:

1. They are cheap. Usually about 2 bucks.2. They're made of plastic and corn, which is 50 percent natural.3. Corn and plastic do not set off metal detectors.4. If you lose,break, or dispose of......(See reason #1).5. In the rare occasion it snows and you're building a snowman, who arethey going to go to when they have 2 pieces of coal and a button?6. The initials CCP are eerily silmilar to the old Soviet Union initialsCCCP.7. Corn cob pipes are viewed as "dashing" in some societies.8. Native American Indians may have smoked out of similar pipes, minus theplastic filter and corn sticker on the bottom of it.9. Take the word 'hi' and 'u' out hiccup.

LaterHeinz-----

my response was as follows:you have not convinced me, sir.

I DO NOT LIKE THE CCP. i would not like it in a house.i would not like it puffing with a mouse.i do not like it here nor there.i do not like it anywhere.i do not like the corn cob pipe.i would not smoke it with barney fife. i don't want to smoke it on the floor or in the mezz.i don't want to toke it with hans moleman wearing a fez. i do not like the corn cob pipe.it gives me a headache, it gives me strife.i love you heinzy very much,but your corn cob pipe i will not touch.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

okay, let me just start off right now with a disclaimer: i don't think i'm too good on boats. i've really only spent an extended period of time on a boat a couple of times. 1 being a seapods booze cruise on lake champlain in '99 in which i was medicated by a special brownie that kicked my ass and can't really remember much of the afternoon... except chopping off d-mighty's arm with a light saber. and at 2am in the monopole asking people around me if they still felt like they were on the boat... "everything keeps going up and down..." and the 2nd being my fake-brother's wedding rehearsal dinner, in which i accidentally ate an "edible" flower that was in my salad (motherfuckers), turned green, and had to take a benedryl and be escorted back to the hotel... missing a no doubt incredible evening at the 3 needs and filling myself up with crack-beer like the good ol' days. it is this fear of boats that has kept me off of things like jamcruise or moe.cruise... but i digress.

soulive, 8/13/06, rocks off boat cruise, hudson river, new york city

perhaps this boat ride would be different. or not.

we grabbed some grub and although i didn't intend to drink at all, i am just a fool for the cowgirl's margaritas. i mean they serve them in a mason jar for fuck's sake. UNCLE. we headed up to the dock and in full out preparation, i needed a medicating puff. strictly medicinal (see above disclaimer). and lemme tellya, it might have been the only thing that kept my shit together. we finally left shore and started heading towards the statue of liberty as the sun set. it was really pretty... but the boat was pretty claustrophobic. ugh. and again, i wasn't gonna drink, but at this point it was necessary. i was already second guessing my total committment to seeing this gig.

the band finally started up and they sounded okay. they were set up downstairs underneath the overhang of the 2nd floor. which actually blew cuz i couldn't even stare at alan banging away. they should really either move the band out into the open 5 feet or so, or just destroy the balcony that hangs above the "stage" area. also, the acoustics were pretty shitty. it reminded me of the tune inn in new haven. exactly like being trapped in a gigantic metallic turd.

they had advertised some "special guests" which i was hoping would consist of people like dj logic or vernon reid or maybe even a sax player... nope. it was a couple of "guest vocalists" who ended up more or less just screaming into the mic. loudly. i've seen this band kick some SERIOUS ass before, and i was expecting no less- i mean, we're cruising around manhattan, you'd think they would be on their game... not so much. the jams were kind of generic, loose, nothing special. at this point i'm feeling pretty old... we hung out a bit on the back of the boat, enjoyed the view of the city... the best city in the world. new york city. this was probably the best part of the show.

also, here, let me say that i've never wanted to leave a soulive show early... ever. and now that i finally wanted to leave a soulive show early- i was trapped on a fucking boat... it kinda sucked. well, we finally made it back to dock, the band had stopped, and i couldn't wait to jump onto solid ground... but we had to wait about a half hour for some reason, because they weren't letting anyone off the boat... so it was a lot of people, crammed into each other... trying to leave... it's hot... everyone is rocking back and forth... oh god, just thinking about it right now is making me nauseas and i've been off the boat for a good 2 1/2 weeks already. DAAAAMN did land feel good under my feet. i can't even begin to tell you...

anyways. a lame soulive show, trapped on a crowded boat... do i blame the band or the rocks off boat cruise? maybe i just don't drink enough to enjoy this sort of shit? i want to give this review more, but i'm teetering on the brink... this hurts me more than it hurts you, soulive... please forgive me alan... soulive rocks off cruise 8/13/06: 4 painful HUZZAHS. and that's being generous.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

so let's start this review off with a little backstory. the week before hern mentioned to me that peelander-z were playing the warsaw in conjunction with kaiju big battel and that lisa's friend was getting them tickets because the dude lives around the block from the place. i get psyched. i remembered seeing the website for kaiju a couple of years ago and it looked hysterical, but i never bothered motivating to go see it. so, with the motivation in full effect, i bought my ticket. i have heard great things about peelander-z and have wanted to see them for a couple of years now. flash forward. day-of-show... actually a couple of hours before the show, and hern IM's me... they don't have tickets. whuh? what about lisa's friend that you gave money to so he could get you tickets? oh, he never got the tickets? and now the show is sold out? and i'm the only asshole with a ticket? i am going on the record right now and saying flat out: lisa's friend is a giant douchebag.

hern and lisa had hope that maybe they could score some extras if they got there early enough. so they went down to williamsburg after work and situated themselves at some bar on the walk between the L and the warsaw with blue lights around the awning and i met them there. the waitress was hella cool and we had some great pregaming going on. eventually we made our way over to the warsaw and the doors hadn't opened yet, so the line to get in was fairly absurd- around the corner. there were peeps looking for extras and absolutely no scalpers or anything. so it was kind of a fruitless attempt. so they took off and i waited... and texted... and got a phonecall from someone who was adorable enough to stay on the phone with me til i got to the door.

there was a giant wrestling ring set up in the middle of the warsaw with a cardboard and balsa wood model of the empire state building in it. i walked up to the very front by the stage, cuz i wanted to witness peelander-z in full effect. and boy did i ever! they came out and started going nuts, it was fucking bizarre and awesome all at once... i was totally getting into it in the front row... and then... out of nowhere... peelander-pink comes out with a suitcase full of percussion tools... and she runs over and hands me a drumstick and some sort of percussive-instrument and motions for me to come onstage. "what??? up there?" she nods and gestures me up... well, okay... so i hopped onstage and started rockin' out with peelander-z! it was pretty phat! a couple more folks came up and we rocked til the end of the song. peelander-red nearly hit me with the guitar head when he jumped up and finished the song. it was pretty damn rock 'n roll--- and fucking NO ONE IS THERE TO TAKE A PIC OF ME ROCKIN' OUT ONSTAGE WITH PEELANDER-Z... so once again-- lisa, your friend is a giant fucking douchebag. there were plenty of photographers and peeps with video cameras- so if anyone out there has pics of me onstage from that night, i'd love to see 'em.

but i digress- peelander-z rocked the warsaw- i wish their set lasted longer. it was maybe 30 minutes. they ended by bowling each other down the walkway, which was pretty fun. they were awesome and i'd love to see a full show, hopefully they'll be back in nyc soon!!!

kaiju big battel... well, it was unlike anything i've ever seen... except for wrestlemania 3 & 4 and the scene in pee wee's big adventure when he wanders onto a japanese monster movie set... and any gamura film that mst3k used to play... it started out when hell monkey destroyed the giant empire state building- very cleverly build around a ladder so that he could scale it. [BIG UPS on the props- they were great, whoever makes them does an awesome job-- 10 HUZZAHS TO YOU, PROPMASTER!]. the evening progressed with the kaiju intern being defeated in a battel where a model of the brooklyn bridge also got destroyed. i had a pretty good spot next to the walkway where they were throwing all the used props/models after they got destroyed. which also happened to be the place where anyone who was thrown out of the ring- they landed on the garbage heap. so i got some fun footage including the giant mushroom struggling to upright himself which can be viewed here:

so, it was a pretty entertaining night, all in all. it would have been way more fun to share it with a handful of friends (lisa, your friend is a douche), but the crowd was a chill one and everyone was having a good time. the full breakdown of the evening's wrestling can be found here: http://www.kaiju.com/commentary_aow.htm

i would say, all together... peelander-z and kaiju big battel: 8.5 HUZZAHS!!!! WOOT!

i wasn't originally planning on going to the jones beach show, but liane called me a few days before it happened with a bargain i couldn't refuse. she had 4 phatty tickets in the orchestra section but her ride bailed and she offered me a ticket in exchange for transportation... so since i wasn't working, i said HELLZ YEAH. but then the next day i got food poisoning. ohhhhh, the food poisoning i did have. i had a day to recover but i didn't want to bail because i didn't want her to have to miss the show! i was able to eat a bowl of white rice before the show and that made me happy.

no alcohol at jones beach--- still lame. i mean, i couldn't drink anything anyways, but the whole concept is fucking lame. we made our way to the seats-- and they were AWESOME. they were in the beginning of the raised section of seats- but they were right on the water. literally. on the beach. so every time liane looked at me, i was standing next to the water, and she'd just start laughing. the band was pretty good, the crowd wasn't that great though. the place wasn't packed at all (probably cuz it was a weeknight) and the band had no energy to feed off of. some of the songs were okay, but i definitely wasn't blown away. it was also a "greatest hits" show. they played most of their singles and i enjoy hearing them, but they didn't mix it up enough. the hammerstein shows really spoiled me i think.

however, i also was having trouble standing up... and sitting up. my muscles were so sore from puking for close to 24 hours that it felt like my rib cage was collapsing into my intestines. good times. it's hard to rock out when you need to be taking a nap.

mooooooooooooving on... 7/22 in jersey...

i had these tickets for like 4 months- heinzy and i had been looking forward to the tailgating and the celebrations for about the same time- i think we had planned either right before or right after our simultaneous BC vacations. brett was supposed to show up (but he didn't because he's a lame ass that is afraid of the rain). we convinced mr. cifarelli to join us and he was on the fence until he felt how wonderful the a/c in my car was. we got down to the parking lot and fought off the rainy blues for a while- and i hold firm my contention for the corn cob pipe. why anyone would want to subject themselves to the lacquered flavor headache inducing plastic and corn concoction, i don't know. but i digress.

we skipped out on drive by truckers and robert randolph. i don't know if i've seen dbt, i've heard some good things... but robert randolph (i'm preparing to be scorned) just doesn't do it for me. in all honesty, i get tired of him after about 5 minutes. yes, he's talented, but somehow it comes off to me as more along the lines of "musical wanking". let the flames begin!

we ran into the vh1 crew inside by the beer tent, only got to see them for a few minutes, but fuck it, the show was aboot to start. there was an immediate difference in the crowd (vs. the jones beach crowd). this place was about to erupt with energy. the bandshell was packed and the band was feeding off of it. was it the weekend? was it the sun finally emerging from the clouds and drying up the rain? or was it the BEER? well, the beer was plentiful. i was still afraid to drink cuz my body was still adjusting to normalcy. but the band rocked, it wasn't a "greatest hits" show, but more like a "classic favorites" show. it was more in line with the hammerstein shows from last year. good stuff.

of course always a topic of conversation- when will a new crowes album come out? well, now that chris robinson and kate hudson have officially split, i gotta say- it's quite possible there will be a new and absolutely KICK ASS crowes album very soon. all that emotional rage has to be funneled somewhere! rock it!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

my good buddy gabe just bought a house out in the middle of nowhere in jersey and his one wish was to have a kickass housewarming party... in order for that to happen he needed one important ingredient: truck stop love ballads. and there's only one man in the world that can provide such an ingredient: dana monteith. so dana was called in special for the task. truck stop love ballads DELIVERED.

i was about 10 minutes from gabe's place when my phone rang- it was dana. "where are you???" "i have no fucking idea." "well, i'm waiting for you to get here before i start!" "ack!!!!! you're waiting for me???" "yeah, guppy, get here FAST! or i'm gonna drink even more!!!" "okay okay, i think i'm close--- have a cheeseburger and by the time you're finished i'll be there!"

i pulled into gabe's neighbor's driveway and parked (the place was packed- satellite parking was the only option!). gabe's house is huuuuuge and gorgeous! the yard was amazing and featured a giant vegetable garden!!! man, if only i wanted to live in the middle of fucking nowhere in jersey!!! damn!!! i had to wait for setbreak for the guided tour- which had about 15 other people on it... gabe should have gotten a megaphone for the full effect.

but rewind back to the music--- dana started off set I with unmarked trunk. a touching tale of the road and love lost and possibly my favorite truck stop love ballad of all time! i didn't keep a setlist, but through his 2.5 sets he went on to play some classic truck stop love ballads: self destruct button, on a dime, afterglow, slipping back, creamery rag... and some classic ominous seapods favorites: waiting room, hope i shall arrive soon, the old gp, jet smooth ride, bong hits and porn... there were more... in fact, gabe and g3 had printed out a whole bunch of seapods tunes from stretch's pink flamingo file and dana happilly obliged as best he could (a few of the tunes he had even rehearsed the night before!).

set 2.5 got a little "blue" and "messy" due to the "alcohol" and "darkness". but there was cake, coffee, and lovely cream puffy things... however, there has been a promise of a "downstairs bar opening" party that will ALSO feature truck stop love ballads this winter... and GUITARAOKE... sasso.com is going to set up a computer server that will spew out requested song lyrics and music for dana to please party goers with even the most discerning musical tastes. gordon lightfoot? no problem! johnny cash? no problem! michael bolton? NOW YOU GOT A PROBLEM!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

hey'all, this review finds itself delayed by a few days as i suffered a nasty bout of food poisoning this week. pasta primavera? not necessarily so safe. it's been quite an ugly week. so, here we go!

les claypool, 7/15/06, nokia theater, nyc

so, this time around i didn't get tickets for everyone in advance cuz last time i kinda got fucked. good call. for this show i flew solo as all my friends who said they might go bailed- no surprise. i however, had been looking forward to this show for months, and i wasn't gonna miss it. another reason i felt like i had to see it was because my friend teresa haire who passed away a couple of months ago would have wanted to see it. she was going to come to the les nokia show with me last october but her med school exams got in the way and she missed it because she was being a good-responsible-student. fuck, johnny fishwick would have had a good time there too, cuz it was les. so yeah. i felt like i needed to be there to enjoy the show for my homies too. haire & johnny 4 eva, 4 realz, yo. mad respek.

anyways, i rolled into the city conveniently in time to miss the opening band and get street parking. bought my ticket at the door and chugged my water that the security guard found and i couldn't bring inside. and as i came down the escalators at the nokia, les had just hit the stage and i listened and watched him on the big screen (I REALLY FUCKING LOVE THIS SETUP), ran into the bathroom and didn't miss a second of the music cuz it's pumped right in there (ahh, just like wetlands... except... bigger... shiny... and lit without a blacklight.). i made my way into the theater on the right hand side and it was pretty packed. i didn't feel like powering all the way up to the front, so i found a nice little nook next to the tapers on the main floor.

this was a great spot until some kid started hitting on me nonstop for like 5-10 minutes. i tried to be nice, then i tried to ignore him. it actually got to the point where he spoke through about 3/4 of a song and the lines he was throwing out there were getting worse and worse. he was either on e or drunk as hell... or both... or maybe he was just THAT enamored with me, i mean, i am fucking awesome. regardless i was missing this entire fucking song cuz he was yammering away- never mind the fucking taper mics we're standing next to- now he's not only ruining my time, but everyone who should have a clean recording of this show. finally i'd had enough.RETARDED CHILD: you really are gorgeousME: you HAVE to stop hitting on me NOW.RC: buh---ME: NO- STOP. NOW.after a couple of minutes he got uncomfortable enough to finally leave, but not before apologizing.RC: i'm really sorry if i was making you uncomfortableME: (watching stage) no worriesRC: thank you for having the balls to tell m---ME: STOP. NOW.and he left. goddamnit. seriously guys, get the fucking hint. and if it seems like the girl is remotely interested in the actual concert that is going on, talking nonstop in her ear isn't gonna help your cause.

anyways, back to the music. les had the same lineup as last time i believe. drums, sax, sitar, percussion... they sounded great. it was a good mixture of new/old stuff. some of the spacier jams seemed a bit loose to me. the main point is that les is such a solid fucking performer, i really enjoy listening to his shows and experiencing the showmanship. however, why in 2006 is it still necessary to have an obligatory drum solo for 10 minutes no matter how long the set is? i realize everyone likes to take a piss, but i'm really losing patience with the prolonged drumz.

also, at the merch table on the way out (merch whore that i am) i picked up one of the new dvd's and a copy of les' first novel- he had done a book reading earlier in the day at a b&n in the village but i didn't know about it! lame! the book is called south of the pumphouse, and i haven't started reading it yet.

all in all- drag your asses out to see les, he's fun for fucksake. oh yeah- i just got a bulletin post from the les claypool myspace page announcing that there is a brand new official primus myspace page up, and to stay tuned because there will be some primus news announced very soon - so go add them to your friends (and we'll all get the good news together- aww, precious). methinks it's tour time! but getting back to les/nokia--- 8.5 HUZZAHS! les RULEZ.

Monday, July 3, 2006

you know what's great? i've noticed that less people read my concert reviews than read my inane ramblings. what's worse? what does that say about me? but more importantly, what does that say about YOU?

regardless. after picking up the affable lauren simms and forcing her to go to amish market with me, we headed down the parkway to exit 117- the (pnc) garden state arts center. once there, parked and baked in the hot hot sun. oh, and drank beers. some guys pulled into the spot across from us and proceeded to play God Street Wine's '$1.99 Romances'. it was a good spot. it was a really good spot.

we slowly made contact with the people we were meeting up with in various stages of travel. what made things a little difficult is that we just missed out on parking in the first lot- so i didn't get to park anywhere near: mattypie or 4dice. however, we were in the same lot as loughrey and we were able to snag the spot next to ours and reserve it for brett and his friend zeke. when they finally showed up (something about getting lost and ending up in camden- sounds fun, eh?) brett pulled a sandwich about the size of his forearm out of a cooler and ate the whole damn thing. for fun we put some meat on the pavement to see if it would frizzle. it started to sweat.

eventually loughrey lumbered over to us and... well, first we drank more... and then we motivated to walk over to the main lot, but by the time we got there everybody wanted to go in. unfortunately i didn't get to hear any of the benevento russo duo set, but i did see them at moe.down a few years ago and they were great. also, it doesn't hurt that both the guys are hot. joe russo actually kinda looks like mike ouweleen. dorks unite!

they were selling daquiris & margaritas for $8 and something called "the guitar" for $13. it looked like a twist of the two. i had a lemon italian ice for $4. we climbed up the stairs and found a nice spot on the lawn. phil lesh was playing. meh. joan osborne sang. that only made me angry. there were a *lot* of deadheads in the crowd. like, a **lot** of them.

but then, the set i went to see- GRAB. mike Gordon, joe Russo, trey Anastasio, & marco Benevento. i was really hoping to see a mixture of phish tunes, trey tunes, and sick jams. trey basically apologized upfront and said, "thanks for being patient with the new tunes". so, yeah, we got a nice tease for a little bit but i don't think he played any full phish tunes? i can't remember. mike sounded great. and the B&R were awesome too. they did some great harder jamming, they are definitely still learning to play together, but it was a fun set. some of the spacier trey tunes were a little lame- but altogether, way better than any of the trey solo shows i've seen in years. (the tsunami benefit doesn't count, that was a moe. show- trey was a special guest).

Friday, June 23, 2006

mmkay! officially killling time at work and officially tackling this overdue review.

it was an early start, i walked into the park with melissa and mintz (a moe. virgin!) and immediately ran into mattypie, etc. standing right next to erika! that's what happens when your friends are alcoholics- you can always find them right next to the beer tent. we found lauren later on- she couldn't sneak out of work as early as i did. "but i'm leaving at 5... no... but i've been saying for 2 months that i'm leaving at 5pm today... i'm leaving at 5... really... i won't be here after 5." (didn't leave til 5:30pm, but still... principle of the thing).

the boys hit the stage at 6:31pm with some tuning and then she sends me. i was able to text message with hern, etc. but they had made their way up to the front on al.side immediately and i wasn't going to deal with that clusterfuck (just yet). this was a great outdoor show to officially kickoff outdoor concert season. very exciting. the first set was pretty good, but i felt they were holding back a wee bit. i was standing up front on chuck-side for a portion of it, but the monitor was really hot and popping every couple of seconds. *pop**pop**pop**pop**pop* my ears and brain couldn't take it anymore so i went and hung out in the back with my running crew.

set break, lovely. sun down. this is more like it. sundown in central park and moe.- can't go wrong. it was a romantic nyc moment. set II started off ROCKING, they were really busting out the harder jams and getting into it. i needed to pee. mintz scored a vip pass for us in the most random of ways so i got to use the vip portapotty. still gross, but no line. :) well, after that i went up to al.side and spotted babitz in all his jewness and that was happy- cuz then i got to see hern, 4dice, lisa... and rob... heh. well, the view from backstage kinda sucked my ballz, and i felt completely removed from my friends... so i decided to do something about it.

i climbed over the 4 1/2 fence. i almost didn't do it! i really almost didn't... i was like, no no, i'll walk around... i'll be good... then i was like, "what the FUCK am i talking about??? WALK AROUND??? who the fuck am i??? I AM LYNNFUCKINGGUPPY and if i can't climb over this fucking fence, then i'm officially OLD!!! AND I AM NOT TOO OLD TO CLIMB OVER THIS FUCKING FENCE!!!" so i climbed over it. hern and babitz originally tried to lift me over but i knew that was asking for trouble so i told them not to touch me- i hiked up the pants and went for it. and it worked out nicely! front row! and a perfect view of rob rippin' shit up. it's really not a moe. show for me until i can get my unobstructed view of rob laying it all down... dreamy. i know you're all about to vomit, but i couldn't ask for more!!!

though, there was a woman there with her 8-10 year old child who was obviously NOT enjoying himself- he was covering his ears and looking sad, and that was really sad. if you're gonna bring your kid to a show, buy them some fucking earplugs. if you're old enough to make the conscious decision to fuck up your own hearing, do what you want- but your child didn't ask to be there and have permanent hearing loss, and you're an inept fucking parent, you goddamn scumbag! oh, also very drunk girls swaying their arms around and being altogether obnoxious- we were relieved when we thought one of them had passed out on the barrier- but she hadn't, she was just resting. there's some in every crowd.

anywhoosits- awesome fucking show- AMAZING 2nd set- really- much better than the 1st (1st wasn't bad- 2nd set was way more ballz-out rockin' goodness). altogether, factoring in getting to see all my friends and enjoying the show with people i love: 9 HUZZAHS!!!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

it was pretty sweet, i got out of work in time to meet a friend and head into the ace of clubs on the lower east side. i had no idea it was the old acme underground, i once saw monopuff there. it was a bizarre night full of smoke and comedians who would get up and read monologues or spoken word over the music- the theme was "colors". it was absolute madness and i stood next to andy richter (glowing).

but back to last friday. lo faber! the set started at 8pm sharp, so we walked downstairs at about 10 of and the place was packed!!! wall to wall air! if you're a gsw fan and you live in nyc, you should be fucking ashamed of yourself for not getting off your ass and heading to this gig. show some fucking love. it's lo and he's awesome. so, we walk in and there are 3 other people in the room: the bartender, the sound guy, and lo... at the bar looking at his song options. "lo!" / "sweetheart!" (for those of you who don't know, lo is quite possibly my favorite person on the face of the earth). he hands me his song list- it's got about 40 songs to choose from in two columns, the paper folded in half and his setlist written on the bottom out of my view. "here, pick a song..." i immediately saw bbtn and shrieked. on the drive downtown i was thinking, "i wonder if he remembers bring back the news?". so, i chose that one... and like 4 others... and then asked him to play new eyes which will never happen but i love asking just to get "the look" and the explanation. and then 2 more people showed up!!! very exciting! so we talked about emergency contraception and frank zappa until...

the clock struck 8pm and lo walked up to the stage, we set up some tables and chairs in front of him and sat down to be entertained. he opened with bbtn which made me smile ear to ear, but the mic was shorting out so that was sad, but he played it strong and it sounded amazing. my friend had never heard lo or gsw before and he enjoyed himself and i think may have been taken aback at how good it was. cuz when you say, "i have a friend doing an acoustic set for an hour downtown..." i mean really-- that could be absolutely HORRIBLE. but it wasn't, it was lo. he played some lennon tunes, borderline, everyone's favorite rockstar, you know me best (quickly becoming one of my new favorites), nightingale, drive west... he forgot the lyrics to borderline:"now a prophet without honor speaks and whiles away the lonely weeks, and knows that all his fellow men are laughing. so you wanna be a movie star, and drive a big red fancy car, and weave between the falling statues crashing..."which is hysterical to me because i have a distinct memory of being at the red record release party at the tower records on 4th and b'way, and during the performance lo forgot the same fucking lyrics and came over to me and asked what they were. so, you see, he's still great.

anyways, it was just lovely. :) he finished up the show to the opening band's dismay (they told him to keep playing) and we hung out for a few minutes and said goodbye.

to learn more about lo faber and download some of his music, go to: www.lofaber.com

i give this show: 9.5 HUZZAHS. lo is my favorite rockstar and he changed my life. he rocks the acoustic guitar.

Friday, June 16, 2006

mmkay, so to keep my brain from becoming less mushy i am going to start reviewing the concerts that i've seen... just like the good old days when i'd post to various mailing lists and start fights for saying things like, "man, that show kinda sucked!". and of course i made this decision a couple of weeks ago and got way too busy at work to actually keep up with it- so i'm 3 concerts behind and will post these reviews belated but separately.

what's different these days (ahh, the yesteryears...) is that i now bring musician's filters to shows because the ringing in my ears does not stop anymore. the first time my ears rang for 3 days was after a nirvana concert in DC when i was 15 years old ('93). it's gotten considerably worse since then, but i am pretty sure that i lost the most hearing at the 2004 mtvn non-denominational-holiday-party, cuz the ringing from that night definitely did not stop, and it's louder than the previous ringing. anyways, so back to the filters- i got these awesome custom filters and highly recommend them. they filter out exactly 15db from every frequency of the sound spectrum and they are fitted to my ears (they took a mold). they are about $150 and worth every fucking penny.

now... pearl jam, 6/1/06, brendan byrne arena, rutherford, nj.

so, not holding the traffic or weather or parking against the band. i missed the opener, "my morning jacket", which isn't too horrible cuz i think i've seen them open for 3 bands in the past year. i walked in during pearl jam's fourth song and they were definitely rockin' out (i don't have a setlist). i walked directly into some friends from my hometown (pr REPRESENT) and they were lovely enough to buy me a beer right before we walked up to the nosebleeds and chilled for a while. then i wandered down to a section behind the stage to find lowell and keren and watched the rest of the show.

the old tunes rocked, the new tunes rocked... eddie was sporting a giant bottle of wine... the pearl jam crowd kind of scares me. there was a lot of singing along and waving of the arms, and i wonder if this is what people think of me and my friends when they go see moe.? like, "who the fuck are these moe.rons"? i think the big difference is that the pearl jam fans kinda treat vedder like some sort of god... and moe.rons... well, when al. fell flat on his face at snoe.down while trying to look like a metal-god--- everyone laughed their asses off... pearl jam's fans just kinda felt more cult-like. at one point eddie picked up his electric guitar (he can't just be a lead singer, he's gotta play guitar a little too) and held it up above his head. the light engineer then focused and bounced one of the lights off of the electric guitar--- so the light was reflected perpendicularly onto the crowd. eddie proceeded to angle the guitar and rotate around 360' to "paint" the crowd in the light. as he did people reached in the air and tried to "grab" the light. people were really getting off on this shit and i couldn't help it but my immediate reaction was laughter. in fact i was laughing so hard i think i might have snorted and put myself in ten-club danger!!! DAAANGER!!!

they did stick it to the man and play about 25-30 minutes past the curfew- a few cover songs including 'teenage wasteland'. drunk eddie flailed and fell on his ass... and then limped for the rest of the show ("i think he really hurt himself" -dr. lowell gurey). it was fun seeing pearl jam in action. the arena eventually turned the lights on, but they did not turn the sound off. i'm sure the extra time cost them a pretty penny (if not substantially more--- i tried looking up how much continental charges for every minute past curfew but had no luck- anyone out there know a website that supplies this info? it can be up to $10,000+ for every minute over). stone gossard: STILL FUCKING HOT... the short hair--- yummy.

yes, i know many of my friends are devoted ten club pearl jam fanatics and it was a great show that they lost their shit at. i would have been happy paying $40 to see it... i paid more, but still, always awesome to see a great rock band play a great rock show. so- conclusion... out of 10 HUZZAHS (10 being the most HUZZAH-WORTHY): 6.5 HUZZAHS!

Friday, May 19, 2006

well, it's been a while, but shits been crazy, so there ya go. let's catch up, while i kill some time waiting for notes- shall we?

i took a phatty dank vacation to british columbia where i skiied at whistler/blackcomb, and conquered the blackcomb glacier bowl as the fog slowly rolled in. it was one of those cool nature-experiences that will stick with you for the rest of your life. and i was lucky enough to be surrounded with good friends at the time even though i was nervous as hell. but then i kicked some major ass and even impressed the boys!!! hardcore, baby! there ya go! i can't wait to go back. after whistler, we (paul arranged the whole thing) took a ferry to vancouver island and went camping for a few days, did some hiking in a rainforest, took a boat out to some remote island to hike into some hot springs... you know, your typical vacation filled with orcas, bald eagles, seals, sea lions, cormerants, grey whales. no big whoop. ??? holy shit. GOOD TIMES! it left me thirsting for more outside time. i still consider relocating out there. it's a sickness.

have been suffering through the "back at work" slump for longer than i typically experience it (usually 2 weeks, now going on about 8 or 9) and that's kinda lame. but this weekend i am actually allotting time for creative outlet in the form of a kickass pitch that is going to make me rich and famous and make my friend lots of money too, which is gonna be awesome. totally fucking awesome.

i think i need to start sculpting again. i can corner the market on corrugated cardboard and glue gun work. feel free to hire me for your sculpting needs, i might be unemployed soon.

Thursday, April 6, 2006

okay, i was out of town for a while, so there's a lot to catch up with... however, let's just start with snoe.down 2.

snoe.down 2, lake placid, ny... FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKERS! we got to lake placid around 4ish on friday and checked into the hotel. kat and jack were already wandering around town. went to get our bracelets but they weren't letting us check in yet, so we went across the street to GRILLE 211 and had a couple of cocktails, then we hit dinner... and were joined by the old tp and rob from raisinhead! a nice surprise and lovely dinner guests! i missed a good portion of soulive's set on friday night cuz dinner went late... but what i did see was awesome... and neal was rockin' the afro! he did look like he could use a shower though. hopefully that's not a trend... he's too hot to be dirty like that.

friday night moe. set was awesome. and then i skipped out on raisinhead and crashed... til some rockstar banged on my door til i let him inside. i guess it was cold out there or something. SLEEPYTIME.

woke up and was on the mountain at 9:30am. GODDAAAAAMN whiteface is icy. adirondack snow, baby. holy fucking jesus. hardcooooore. what was it, 5 degrees outside not including the harsh wind? at 3pm we gathered for moe.'s set at the base of the mountain. due to apparel issues, i was the only one from our crew that actually stayed outside and watched the entire set (from in between the trees raised above the trail- perfect view!). the remnants of my hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps froze almost immediately when i put the paper cup on the ground. (yet my insulated camelback held up it's promise!!!) the boys were all bundled up and there was a heat fan blowing on them, but i'm sure it wasn't doing SHIT in the wind. i took some meh pics i haven't uploaded yet... MIKE WREN TOOK PICS THOUGH! don't see them on his site anywhere! wtf, mike??? moe. rocked whiteface, i don't know if it was the snow as sound proofing, but they ruled. and the only reason i could think of why they played bear song again was cuz they fucked it up completely on friday night.

back to the hotel, showered, and a nice gift appeared at my doorstep... mr. teddy marotta! blast from the past! he and teep crashed with me and it was "just like old times"! awww, shucks! moe. played a pretty fun set on saturday night, i tried standing up most of the time despite the pain i was in from skiing and the shows... and killing the pain with ketel one cintroen & cranberry juice helped the numbing... that's good shit! and then afterwards made my way over to zig zag's to see raisinhead. i hadn't seen them in about a year and they get better every time i see them! they really rocked the house! also, teep sang 'good to be alive' and they covered 'drive west', so it was AWE-FUCKING-SOME.

crashed at like 4am... was harassed til i woke up at like 9am and went to the mountain again. fuck. we did like 1 or 2 runs, i can't even remember. it was really painful. the ice was unavoidable, my legs couldn't take it anymore. we had to stop like 5 times and rest on the way down the trail.

Friday, February 17, 2006

so, those of you "lucky" enough to work on the 6th floor here are in for a special treat. i won the "program the hallway" contest for the month, so as you stand waiting for the elevators you can feast your ears on the dulcet tones of my ipod. here's the playlist. it should go from noon-5:30ish today. wish you could hear it in the bathrooms, but mtv sucks, so you'll have to listen to vh1 soul while you relieve yourselves.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

k, so so so much has happened. originally i was going to write all about uncrustables, and i think in order to keep my sanity maybe i will stick with that, but i can't not dubya bash... not today at least. so bare with me.

SMUCKER'S MEETING PITCH: gentlemen, i have a brilliant idea- peanut butter and jelly are really sticky, and when my spoiled kid wants me to cut off the crusts, well, i lose my shit. and i can't afford another visit from child welfare services. so, what if we had a product that took all the work out of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

so, aside from the nutritional value of a frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwich (or cheese), is this even real bread? wonder bread might finally be healthier than something. this is like a frozen pb&j wrapped in a thinly pressed sponge.

how little do you care about your child if you are throwing this in their lunchbox? what kind of parent are you? how much time does it take to smear some peanut butter and jelly on two slices of bread and throw it in a baggie? is the real concern the lack of crust? must i volunteer to come to your house in the morning and cut the crust off myself? i used to eat pb&j every day in elementary school, and my mother would write me a note on a napkin and throw it in the paper bag. now THAT is love. if some kid brought in a frozen pb&j in a wrapper and they were lucky enough to have it thaw in time for lunch--- the kid would probably get punched & laughed at for being a neglected and unloved child. LOOK AT LITTLE 'MOMMY DOESN'T CARE'! HE'S GOT A FROZEN PATTY, EARLY ONSET OSTEOPOROSIS, AND SCURVY! LET'S BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM! (wouldn't be able to run fast enough)

i ate a psychedelic chocolate last year and the only thing i could manage to make and eat at 5am was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. if in this sort of incapacitated state i was able to throw it together (mind you, i made a complete mess of lisa's kitchen, but she just blamed hern) then a parent or guardian should be able to pull it off in the morning (or even the night before).

dubya rant: this morning dubya gave a press conference about how excited he is to see his speech for the state of the union. and only brought up the palestinian election after a reporter asked (of course). his response was some positive views on why democracy works and why people want democracy. education. health care. he also said he would not stand by a corrupt government with an "armed wing". ironic that his entire speech could have been about the united states. he also made a vague statement encouraging the current fatah party to stay in place and not concede to the winner of the election- the hamas party. so, democracy is great and the people have spoken, but he doesn't agree, so the people are clearly wrong... i wonder aloud of things to come.