Sounds like something from the Daily Mash. But apparently its true. Art imitating life.

Which prompts a weekend compo idea.

Titles for Corbyn era musicals.

And bonus points for the title of the main song in the musical.

BQ offers -

Spending in the RainThree performers {Corbyn, Livingstone, McDonnell} Are caught in the transition from the silent era to the modern 'talkies'. With hilarious results.{Hit songs - Make 'em laugh-and laugh and laugh, - You were meant for Mao.}

Le MiserableA tormented soul seeks redemption. Set during the revolutionary turmoil of Thatcher's Islington in the late 20th century.{hit song - what have I done?}

All that JezzLabour's backers have a deranged leader on their hands. They must decide whether to replace him or just hope he dies..{Hit song - Who's sorry now}

Bolivar ! An orphan boy,{Owen Jones} hooks up with a group of ultra left, street gang union bosses, trained to be pickpockets by an elderly mentor. {Hit songs - Please Sir - can I have some more...money?Reviewing - the selection situation.}

42 comments:

A la Busby Berkeley - Grave Diggers 2016, or the Collectivist Gang's All Here. Story plot is set around keeping the hoi poloi distracted with lines of semi-naked transgender people kicking their legs in the air and fretting about the lack of respect they are given, while the gang get on with the task of destroying first their party and then the country. Song - A Stool-Pigeon Sang in Victoria Street Square.

Low Society - a born outsider finds himself unexpectedly included in the goings-on of the people who really matter. He tries to get involved but everyone ignores him and just gets on with whatever the hell they are doing anyway. Features the smash hits:

- Who wants to tax a millionaire?

- Well, did you ever? (what a swelling Party this is)

I have heardthat in this townyou're a memberfor just three poundsWell, did you ever?what a swelling party this is!

The apostle Andy Burnham expresses his concern over Jezza's rising popularity as a "king" and the negative repercussions that will have. He strongly criticizes Jezza for accepting his followers' unrealistic views, and for not heeding his concerns ("Democtratic Socialism on Their Minds"). While Andy still loves Jezza, he believes that Jezza is just a man, not a potential Prime Minister, and worries that Jezza's following will be seen as a threat to the security of the nation which would then punish both Jezza and his party at the next election.

(With apologies to Wikipedia)

The Great Jezzby

Jezza hosts amazing organic fairtrade vegan buffets at his North London home, and has an open-door policy to welcome the poor and the tastebud-challenged. Yet nobody has actually met the Great Jezzby: it could be any one of these ageing hippies with scrappy white beards in brown suits with elbow pads. Jezzby finally breaks cover to declare undying love to his neighbour, Dianne. She accepts his offer of a visit to a socialists' retreat in Venezuela, and they both quit their jobs to go. MI5 does not interfere.

The thing about Corbyn - which most people seem to overlook - is that he is Camerons trump card. Cameron (and Osbourne) can propose any madcap scheme and sell it to Tories (or rather, push it down their throats) because the alternative is Corbyn.

I think we might see a few un-tory Tory policies, and sooner rather than later, on the basis of 'its us or him'.

Most voters (Lab and Tory) are so parochial, tribal and lets be honest - fucking stupid - that they will vote 'their own' no matter what policy they are pushing because the alternative is 'the other crowd'.

So Cameron on the EU, agreed immigration and pension tax of some sort with the odd drift to UKIP in a by-election; small price to pay.Revenue needs to be increased - its not coming from income tax - so I think the 3% BTL tax is the first nibble at property taxation. Imagine a property tax @2.5% of a properties declared value per annum but offset against the residents income tax contributions..... I say declared value because the declared value would constitute and offer to the revenue to sell the property at that price; this would pitch the 'housing crisis' against tax revenue and pensioners against the waged.

We'll know the radical, modernist Tories when we hear them cry - toward Corbyn, natch - There be Dragons!

Jevita (Narrator: Che Guevara and a chorus of long-defunct revolutionaries)

An ambitious arriviste from an unlikely background hacks their way to the top in leftie politics. It doesn't last long. It doesn't end well.

Featuring:

- Another Nutcase, Another Hall

- Oh, What A Circus!

- Don't Cry For Me, Andy Burnham_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The Sound of Marxists

A polite but irredeemably stroppy individual is unexpectedly sprung from an obscure monastic existence to be foisted on a dysfunctional 'family', and proceeds to tell them what to think and do. Meanwhile, in the real world outside the fascists are on the move. All the 'family' and their new 'leader' can do can do is sing a few bolshie songs and run away back into obscurity.

Some of these entries have been terrific. Top quality stuff worthy of remembering for comments on the Telegraph when the musical comes out..I particularly liked Jezza Christ Superstar and the superb Jevita.

ND: No critiscism, but don't you agree the original hit song, "Don't Cry for me Argentina" fits even better?

A late entry: The wizard of Was.Featuring Jeremy Corbyn as the wizard (naturally)A P.C and ethnically correct Dorothy (Dianne Abbot)and and burnished Andy Burnham as the faint hearted Tin Man

Featured songs:

Follow the big red road.Somewhere over the far east.a suitably adapted "Back in the USSR"

Plot much as the original, wonder and confusion over flattening an old witch (possibly Thatcher) only to find after a long journey that it was all a weird bearded bloke behind a curtain and mostly a dream.

Prof Enry Iggins offers to teach Jezza Doolittle to talk proper. Jezza demurs on the grounds that he had attended a decent school. The Prof explains that by "proper" he means wicked, cool, like the kids. Jezza, he says, needs to learn about the lives of The People.

Songs: I could have fucked all night, sung by the D. Abbott character.With a little bit of fuck, ditto.In the street where you pissed, sung by Jezza's rival for D.A.'s "hand".You're getting elected in the morning, sung by Jezza's dad.Why can't an elector be more like a madman?, sung by Jezza.I've grown accustomed to my place, ditto.

Something like Nixon in China, perhaps, (though it would need ND to write it); with Corbyn as a heldentenor, and Diane Abbot (colaratura soprano) singing an appropriately transposed (but just as crazed) 'I am the wife of chairman Mao'.....obviously the action in Act 1 would take place during the eastern Germany motor cycle trip, to be re-lived as the realisation of their political journey in the London Labour party for Acts 2 and 3.

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