I Feel Guilty

My mother died 4 years ago, the day before my first wedding anniversary. For the first time since, this year Mother's Day and the anniversary fall in the same week and I'm really struggling to cope with it. I've hated seeing the cards in the shops, and would quite happily just pretend that Sunday is no different to any other day.

But I feel so guilty - for my children, who are still young and very excited about the cards they've made for me at school, but mostly for my husband. I should be looking forward to celebrating the anniversary of the happiest day of our lives, but I just can't. I'd much rather skip next week altogether.

Plus I'm so grumpy and short-tempered with my whole family all of the time, and it's not their fault I'm feeling miserable. I just wish I could grieve inside, and not inflict it on the rest of the world.

In another week everything will probably be fine again, but I don't want to be going through this every year for ever.

quite understandable. i went through the same thing, only it was my birthday. . and i actually made my mom cook me a birthday feast, that guilts been killing me for 9 years.. all i could say is though it is very hard to carry on with life, it would be good if you cherish the memories but move on if only for the sake of ur kids.

Your up in heaven now
and god has you in his arms
however,
I will always hold you in my heart
But I wish you were in my arms.
I Loved you, from the way begining
And even though I was scared
I knew i could do it
and give you the best life ever
&nbsp...

My mom and I did not have a good relationship. She abused me physically when I was growing up. When I was an adult, living in my own apartment (but still under my father's thumb financially) Mom abused me emotionally.I haven't seen her nearly two years.I detest Mother's Day...

Ok, well that is 50% true. I am completely excited about spending part of Mother's Day with my sons!! This weekend they will be at their Father's but neither I or my ex are stupid enough to disregard special days like this one and say something stupid like * Sorry boys, no you...