Tag Archives: Fondling

What is it about pregnant women that makes most of us feel like we have the right to just come up to them and start rubbing on their bellies?

No, seriously.

I saw something like that the other day and it got me started thinking about it. I was in the library when a very, very pregnant woman came inside near where I was sitting. She greeted another woman, but you could tell from their stances that they weren’t actually close friends. There was a definite, visible reserve there.

The non-pregnant woman then pulled her youngish dude (maybe six or seven years old) over to them and just thrust his hand onto the pregnant lady’s belly. She was shocked. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open a bit, but the non-pregnant mom and her son were completely oblivious to the pregnant woman’s distress. They then said good-bye and moved on.

The pregnant woman just stood there for a little while before shaking her head and moving on.

From experience, being around a pregnant woman for a long, long time on three separate occasions, I’ve seen this happen again and again. People would walk up to She Who Must Be Given Her Space and, with the barest of pauses to get any kind of permission, start fondling her belly.

Is a pregnant woman’s belly community property or something?

I really don’t think so. But there’s something in our culture that says pregnant women get to endure this unique form of annoyance.

I know it’s a wonderful thing, a wanted pregnancy that’s going to produce a wanted, loved child. Many pregnant woman do have almost a glow about them from their healthy bodies and their excitement about the growing life (when they’re not suffering from hemorrhoids or swollen ankles) and most people do want to share in that kind of joy. It makes us feel good.

But, seriously, dudes and (mostly) dudettes. Don’t just automatically assume that a pregnant woman wants you to feel up her belly, just because she’s showing. And if you just can’t help yourself, ask for permission first and actually — I know this is a bit out there, but go with me here on this one — wait for permission before you get all touchy feely.

I know I’m not talking to the dudes out there all that much on this one, because we’ve been pretty much conditioned against just randomly touching people we meet in the street. Still, I’d like to see a little thought here, folks. It actually is her pregnancy, not ours.

Especially during the summer, we all hear a lot about keeping ourselves and our little dudes protected from the sun. Wear sunscreen, if you go out, but don’t go outside in the hot summer sun between 10 am and 4 pm, basically most of the day. And that’s good. If all you’re worried about is skin damage.

However, there’s also a price to be paid for not going out in the sun regularly, and that’s a vitamin D deficiency. Our bodies are evolved to capture the sun’s ultraviolet-B rays and use them to turn into vitamin D. And that’s great for a hunter-gatherer or agrarian society where people are outside all day.

But what about us modern dudes, those who have overdeveloped thumbs from texting and callouses on our hands from constant typing or fondling of game controllers? Answer: not so good.

Recent studies have shown that Americans have a chronic vitamin D deficiency. Doctors want everyone to be above 30 nanograms per milliliter, but it’s just not happening. Caucasians average 18 to 22 nanograms, while African-Americans average 13 to 15 nanograms per milliliter. And that, dudes, is bad news.

Vitamin D deficiency won’t just result in fragile bones. Every tissue in the body, from muscles and neurons to the heart and immune system have receptors for vitamin D. Studies show not having enough vitamin D on board can lead to a higher risk for developing colon, breast and prostate cancers, immune-system abnormalities that can result in infections and autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease, Type 1 diabetes, and rheumatoid arthritis.

I speak from personal experience. As some of you might remember, I had a heart attack almost six years ago. My preventative cardiologist (the one who’s always on me about my weight and exercising more [or is that She Who Must Put In Her Two Cents?]) put me on vitamin D supplements and said he recommends everyone start taking those supplements.

He’s got me on 6,000 IU of Now High-Potency Vitamin D-3 supplements, which I buy at a local health and nutrition store.

While there can be some effects of vitamin D toxicity if you take too much (nausea, vomiting, poor appetite, weakness, constipation and weight loss as well as dangerous amounts of calcium that can manifest as kidney stones) I’m nowhere near that limit. People have taken as much as 11,000 IU for more than six months without any ill effects.

So, what does all this mean?

I should think it’s pretty obvious. You and all the little dudes and dudettes in the house should start doing a little vitamin D regimin. It’s inexpensive and it can be a real health boost.