From where I'm sitting, movies & books are chockablock with KIDS. I got stuck under a salon dryer in front of a TV playing "If I Stay," & basically the entire time I was half-angry that the girl COULD NOT SEE that the boy was no good, & half in awe that people could get away with making an ostensibly engaging film (??) composed largely of just two teenagers making out & fighting & making out. This is what kids watch? This is what kids read? A bunch of OTHER (thinly fictional) kids blundering around like everything is normal + okay when everything is so obviously NOT normal + okay, without a sensible individual in sight.

1. GET YOSELF TOGETHER
I just finished "Sense & Sensibility," & yes I loved it! I am yours truly too much like Marianne but the fact is I appreciate Elinor & strive to be more like her:

not cast about by every wind + wave of emotion

capable of swallowing my pride for the sake of reason

attentive to the distresses of others despite what i may be suffering myself

In short, MATURE. And guess what? Elinor was only, like, nineteen or twenty years old. Oh em gee, she's just a kid, she's just discovering herself, she's - I can't keep this up. No, Elinor Dashwood, although a fictional character, was written by a young woman basically the same age, & provides proof that YOUNG PEOPLE CAN BE MATURE. The problem is, all of the role models I see snogging around are basically worthless.

2. MATURITY COMES WITH AGE
It's just that, for some of us, it comes faster...or slower...depending on how much you push yourself. You don't have to turn thirty & then suddenly get your act together because now you're an "adult." Nope, you can start much earlier, & it makes an otherwise confusing process just a little less excruciating.*

IF your main character is in that most trying age of being a "young adult" // teenager, why not, for the sake of healthy novelty, SKIP the highschool drama & the boyfriends & the Pinterest & the "adventure is out there" tropes. Instead, you could actually have a sensible, well-balanced, SANE character who is trying to navigate your plot + life & trying not to make too much drama for himself in the process. If your character needs a mental leg up, there's always Mr. Miyagi as a role model additional character. People with sense get better with age, so don't discount the importance of older people helping your stupid clueless teenagers. Because TEENAGERS ARE STUPID.**

(* i look back on my teenage self & think, "...you were an IDIOT.")

(** this is an offensive, broad-brush statement & i hold to it so you can try to avoid being stupid if you are in fact a teenager. forewarned is forearmed.)

3. WE'RE PUTTING THE FATE OF THE WORLD IN //WHO'S// HANDS??
Did nobody think this through? Out of everybody - everybody in the world - the fate of our country / continent / world / universe rests on the shoulders of someone who isn't even old enough to legally drink?? There has been some SERIOUS mismanagement here. Oh, we ALL gonna die. This kid doesn't know how to file tax forms, & he's going to save us from certain destruction? We //ALL// gonna die.

4. OLDER PEOPLE // OLD SOULS ARE NOT BORING
You think maturity is musty & dull? You think "settling down" is the worst thing to ever happen to you? Then you have been delicately sheltered from one of life's greatest truths: BEING MATURE IS AWESOME.

not wrecking your body with drugs + alcohol?

not dealing with hormonal school drama?

owning a house?

having a comfy bed with an actual, dependable bedtime routine?

eating healthy, home-cooked meals that your body will rejoice to eat?

How is this NOT awesome? People who say being wild + crazy is better are either lying or they don't know better. I'M HERE TO TELL YOU BETTER. Sensible, mature people take care of things (laundry, bills, the mysterious prophecy which dooms you to save the world). They know how to handle responsibilities (shopping for groceries, mopping the floors, making sure you don't get stabbed by shadowy brutal enemies while you try to save the world). They have lots of wisdom to impart which you would probably die before attaining on your own (change the air filters in your house, don't turn on your car in the garage without opening the garage door first, never split up or go out at night when something is trying to kill you).

5. YOU DO NOT SEE THE WORLD CORRECTLY
Little young adult characters, don't lose your dreams + ambitions. They give you motivation & help make the world a better place (assuming your dreams don't include becoming a terrorist). But let's face it, you don't even know. At the same time you're dealing with hormonal trauma & you think your life is awful, you also think life is magically hunky-dory & everything will pan out. Well, NO, not if you don't man up & take care of things.

Maturity + responsibility make people STABLE. Your same-age friend is going to freak out & stress along with you (not helpful) whereas a mature adult will give you straight-up common sense advice (very helpful).

6. GROW UP & GET OVER YOURSELF
The teenage years, my little young adult characters, are NOT your golden days. Nope, they're basically a blundering mess & I'm only 26 but I am appalled to see highschool students allowed to drive massive constructions of metal at insane speeds down public roadways. Guess what! If you have any sense of self-betterment, you will seek out maturity, save the world, & have minimal love-triangle drama scars to show for it (they are not a badge of honour, they are just proof of your stupid). Not sure how to be mature? Find someone who is! Trust me, you & your novel will be glad.

+ BONUS COUNTER ARGUMENT:
"But young adult novels with teenagers are so RELATEABLE."

get out.

We have friends. We have the internet. We have people who relate to us by the BUCKETload. But if you actually want to improve, you need role models who are BETTER THAN YOU (see, Elinor Dashwood). Drama, heartache, struggles, obstacles to overcome - they happen to mature people too, you know, & mature people JUST GET BETTER. Wouldn't that be a worthwhile type of character to present to the reading populace?

yours truly, 100% tired of seeing reviews exclaiming that the mc was just so dumb

(Na)tional (No)vel (Wr)iting (Mo)nth is just around the corner, & normally I'm all, "ugh, whatever, I have better things to do," & I moreorless avoid the incredible stress of writing 50,000 words in a single month (some of us really struggle with that, okay??); but for some reason I am a flaming masochist in terms of making myself do work when I should be resting, & my brain said

"hey"

"what if you wrote 50,000 words on ethandune in november"

TO WHICH I AM NOT COMMITTING because then you could reasonably commit ME; but since lots of people are crazy & still loose on the internet, I thought I would share some of my tricks for coming up with stuff to write & how I make myself write (more to the point), because NaNoWriMo is insane & yet we keep trying to do it. Here is to mutual fear & gnashing of teeth.

1. READ TERRIBLE LITERATURE
A nearly surefire way to pump the old creative juices, read truly terrible writing. I know the usual advice is to read GOOD writing, but that's getting you only halfway. You need to be angry. You need to have motivation. You need to have PURPOSE. So remind yourself that the world is full of HAPSOLUTELY hellawful writing that passes as literature & gets published (for money!) & people buy it (for more money!!), & you OWE IT TO SOCIETY to write your awesome book & bring balance to the world.

note: it helps to have a grumpy-cat attitude about most things in life in order to pull this off. if you're usually optimistic + generous, this trick will be harder for you to achieve.

2. LISTEN TO UPBEAT MUSIC WHILE DRIVING
Prerequisite: you need to be able to drive. I am a) an aggressive driver, & b) I tend to drive the same routes whenever I go out, so spatial-long-term-memory-guidance-drones in my head take over & I'm often free to just think. If I can get Siri to find songs on the internet for me (is that really so hard, Siri??), I can ramp up my imagination to the speed of my music & my car. They say you need to go after inspiration with a stick but I find running it over with a car is more effective.

note: this is a terrible idea & i never recommended it. you were never here.

3. ACTUALLY OPEN UP THE DOCUMENT & LOOK AT IT
When all else fails & I can't come up with scenes on my own while I do the rest of my life, I will drag my inverted camel carcass to the computer (mentally whining & complaining & hating myself because I am a mature adult), I'll OPEN UP THE DOCUMENT, & actually read some of it. Get back in the vibe. Kind of sort of but not really commit to maybe writing another paragraph. Sometimes I find myself writing more than I thought I would.

note: a mixed drink will significantly diminish the inner "fight" attitude against buckling down & writing, & will make your writing appear momentarily the bomb.com, but sadly i cannot pursue this aid at present & duh reasonable precautions apply to everyone attempting this including minors, pregnant women, teetotalers, people prone to emotional weeping (mirriam, i'm cautioning you), & anyone who hasn't had a decent intake of water during the day.

5. IGNORE ALL THE PROPS
Yes, you'll want a nice fancy playlist & a perfect Pinterest board detailing the exact aesthetic of your novel, but the TRUTH IS writers came up with killer books without the aid of these mechanisms, & you can too. These are fun but really they just waste time. Indulge them ONLY WHEN YOU CAN; if a teenytiny voice in your head is saying, "ooh, I'll get to writing just as soon as I find this one particular song & a picture of my main character which is 100% perfect, this will help me, I don't need to feel guilty - " then you are ABSOLUTELY GUILTY.

note: the long-forgotten trick to writing? it's WRITING.

These are the five methods I use to actually write my (disconcertingly coveted) stories. Also Dammerung. That's definitely motivation. Yep, basically whatever you are doing now is probably just as good // better than my method because you are not lazy + stupid like I am, so here is your chance to gloat! Meanwhile, I will be taking a nap & NOT WRITING AT ALL because I am in my third trimester & I am unbelievably exhausted it isn't even funny I am so ready to be done with this why is January so far away.

are you insane & are you going to participate in nano? IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU.

The big thing these days is to "be authentic;" be yourself, don't apologize for who you are, be "real," be honest & vulnerable & #darlingmagazine & I don't even know what. It sounds good, right? Yes! Open up! People love that! Down with the impersonal corporate machine! This is the day of the lone entrepreneur!

STAHP. REWIND.

It's all well + good to get on Pinterest & see the motivational quotes about being honest + real, but there's a huge mistake they make & nOBODY SEEMS TO ADDRESS IT. I'm going to because I like being negative + poking holes in people's balloons. Well, mostly Pinterest's balloons.

THE AUTHENTIC MISCONCEPTION

What is "authenticity"? You can have two definitions:

being original // not a copy

+

being true to one's beliefs

Pretty cool. No one wants a copycat or a sycophant (copycats are tricky to feed + sycophants are such delicate plants, they are an enormous burden to keep up with). Being YOU is a good thing! ...Right??

Yes & no. If you are representing an idea (author, doughnut-maker, part-time executioner), you DON'T HAVE THE FREEDOM TO BE FREE. In terms of your interaction with the public, you have committed to a persona that you need to uphold & which needs to be reliable so that customers (readers, pastry enthusiasts, not so much convicted criminals but they're people too), can keep the concept of YOU + YOUR BRAND dependably in their minds.

oh hey jenny aren't you one to talk

You are definitely looking at someone who is trying to move from "just being myself" to being a definite brand. There is a lot more to ME than what I portray on my blog because my blog isn't strictly about ME, it's about THE PENSLAYER - it's about writing, it's about my works, it's about my thoughts on becoming better at my craft & how you, too, can improve!

does this mean i'm not authentic?

Nope! This does NOT mean I'm not authentic. This does not mean I'm faking it when I get on my blog & post only a snapshot of who I am. It means I'm

// edited //

If I take an Instagram picture of part of my house, it's really part of my house - but it's only a square lookie-hole into my environment. It's real. It's authentic. But it's also edited & it's what I want you to see. It gives you the impression I want you to have. Is this evil? Is this manipulative?? Well, okay, it's manipulative but no it's not evil. If I want to be a definite brand with a definite purpose, & reliably deliver the same genre of goods to the public, I can't afford to be a catch-all dumping-ground for my entire brain/personality. I have to choose what parts of me will best express + represent my "business front."

DOES BEING AUTHENTIC KILL YOUR BRAND?

YES || if you fall into the trap of assuming "authentic" means everything you think, everything you like, every tiny change you make, every fad, love, obsession that takes hold of you from week to week. This is confusion, & confusion destroys a brand.

NO || not if you are authentic TO YOUR BRAND. Not if you are authentic to who you have determined you need to be in order to intelligibly express the concept of your brand.

clarity

consistency

singleness of vision

are what your brand needs to stand out & shine in a loud, loud world of social media + marketing.

well okay kettle but you're the same colour as the pot

(Yeah, & it's my favourite colour...) But no, in all seriousness, this is NOT something I have mastered, but it is something that I've become more aware of in the past eleven months as I overhaul myself + my home. I've learned how important it is to edit, to focus, to hone. The CLEAR VIEW of who you are becomes a CONSISTENT EXPRESSION, which creates a RELIABLE CONCEPT of YOU. For the outside world looking in, whatever demographic your customers fall in to, this is invaluable. No one wants to depend on chaos + confusion.

It doesn't matter if you are expecting, planning on expecting, maybe one day expecting in the distant future, or don't want to have children at all. This post is for everyone because postpartum depression impacts SO MANY OF US, & even if it won't happen to YOU, it may happen to someone you know & the best way to help that person is to UNDERSTAND what is happening. Postpartum depression is actually a serious, sometimes life-threatening malady, so DON'T take this lightly! I know this is not writing-related, but it's a big deal for me & I know others have faced or may face this obstacle. I want to help.

naysaying the naysayer

IF YOU ARE EXPECTING this may sound like I'm assuming that you will have postpartum depression (PPD), & I'm just a huge pessimist, raining on your baby-bliss parade. This is 100% not the case. It is unfortunately very common, & very likely, that a new mother will experience such a wild crash in hormones post-delivery, that it results in PPD. You can't MAKE yourself not have it if your hormones DO crash, just like you can't MAKE your heart start or stop, or MAKE your stomach not digest food. I am not a party-pooper! I want you to know that PPD is something to anticipate & prepare for, because you can't stop it just be sheer will. This is out of your control.

IF PEOPLE SAY YOU DON'T HAVE PPD do NOT, under any circumstances, believe them! Your hormones are in your own body, your thoughts are in your brain - you know something isn't right. No one else can feel your emotions for you. You are the judge.

(i have been told off-handedly in the past that i was not depressed. it was not from a doctor, it was not after even a moment of reflection or time spent listening to my symptoms. this hurts. this kind of response is unfortunately tailor-made to COMPOUND the emotional issues, not create a support which could further your road to recovery. so folks, if a mother tells you she is depressed, NEVER, EVER, EVER SAY SHE'S NOT.)

NOTE || "baby blues" & PPD are NOT the same thing. "Baby blues" are a usual phenomenon when your hormones naturally go berserk for a few days or a week after expelling the baby. Your body was chockablock with hormones during pregnancy, & now it's trying to reset for a new phase. Hormones are not the bee's knees & nothing they do is very friendly, but "baby blues" should pass in a few days.

(not exhaustive list of) postpartum depression & anxiety symptoms

There are many expressions of PPD & postpartum anxiety. You may experience one, two, four, five...& qualify for the diagnosis: you don't have to have ALL the symptoms - this isn't Pokemon. I'm going to highlight some that I had to deal with, but know that there are more.

THE INADEQUACY TERROR || I vividly recall trying to breastfeed my daughter early in the morning before one of the grandmothers came to sit with her. My husband had to leave for work. I felt I was on the clock. My daughter wouldn't settle. She was crying, & I began to scream for my husband & then dissolve into hysterical tears because I believed I COULD NOT DO THIS. Those words don't fully describe how I felt.

i felt i literally, actually, completely, could NOT nurture my daughter

i was 100% in terror that someone would come take her away

i was deeper-than-the-grave ashamed of my weakness & outburst

i thought someone would take my daughter away

ditto

THE MORBID TERROR || Another vivid memory, waiting for my husband to come home. It was winter, it was dark, & time seemed to take longer than it should have. I began to think something had happened to him. I began to believe something had happened to him. I was sure he had crashed & died, & that I would be left the rest of my life to raise our daughter alone. Do not laugh at this. This is not like everyday, garden-variety morbid fantasy: this notion latched hold of my brain & would not be shaken loose. I was a hysterical crying mess by the time my husband arrived - with takeout dinner.

THE FLIGHT DRIVE || Another common expression of PPD, which I felt periodically, was the desire to run away. There is NO LOGICAL SOLUTION presented by this urge: you just HAVE it. It can be an urge to run away from your family completely, or (as in my case) to run away with your child. It can be fueled by irrational panic, or it may simply be a lone but powerful urge suggesting that you NEED TO RUN AWAY. This is PPD talking.

THE BLACK HOLE IN YOUR CHEST || Probably the first thing people think of when someone mentions depression, it's that hollow-but-leaden weight in your chest, dragging you down, blacker than my entire wardrobe. It is an inexplicable, unshakeable, unexpected depression - there is no better word for it: it's more than sadness, it's a crushing of the soul. The world, like mine, could be full of sunshine, support, & smiles, but all I felt was a deep, dead sorrow.

THE HARM FANTASIES || This is probably the worst part of PPD that I've experienced. I was, thank God, never close to succumbing to these thoughts, but I was plagued by sudden, unpremeditated thoughts of throwing my infant daughter over the railing down the steep basement stairs. I considered cutting myself when my sadness was almost more than I could bear. These thoughts were never serious for me, thankfully: they were suggestions about contemplating these actions. But that they cropped up in my brain was terrifying enough!

THE GUILTY SILENCE || None of the above is the expected view of motherhood. None of it is NICE. None of it seems HAPPY or CONTENT or GRATEFUL. As mothers, we're aware that what we're feeling does not match with what we think is expected of us. What we are feeling terrifies us! We feel unutterably guilty. So we shut down. We close our mouths. We don't reach out for help. We tell ourselves we need to "just get over it." We are afraid

people won't understand

people will tell us to "buck up"

people will think we're crazy

people will think we're trying to shirk our maternal duties

people will think it's just due to sleep deprivation

people will take our children away from us

There is precedent for each one of these to make our fear just that much stronger in our minds. Mothers have been brushed aside, their struggles consigned to "womanly weakness," they have been judged, censured, & ignored - when their problem is NOT THEM, it's a need for postpartum medical treatment to correct something that is physically wrong & mentally impacting their lives. Women with PPD

are NOT lazy

are NOT insane

are NOT insensitive mothers

are NOT broken

They are flesh-&-blood human beings whose bodies have experienced a catastrophic upset in their critical hormonal balances, & they NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION.

(note: i had both an advantage & an obstacle to face, for my own mother had suffered such severe PPD that she has needed to continue medication to this day. i knew i was at risk & that i needed to look out for symptoms. AT THE SAME TIME, when the symptoms came, i was afraid they weren't "good" enough, they weren't "critical" enough, that i didn't have the right to claim PPD. DON'T FALL INTO THIS MENTAL TRAP. seek help as soon as you notice a continuance in these (or other) symptoms. you are important! never underestimate your struggles because someone else may have it "worse.")

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS

Yes, it is possible you may have PPD. DO NOT DESPAIR. Here I am, with the effects of PPD still in my brain, & I'm a survivor. My daughter is flourishing. You'd never know, unless I told you, that I have PPD. Here is what helped me:

FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED || I had the warning. Being aware that PPD is a possibility does NOT increase your risk of having it. You either have it or you don't - but knowing about it beforehand & knowing the signs to look out for makes the recovery/correction process SO much easier, quicker, & avoids severe scarring on you & your family.

EXCELLENT DOCTORS & MEDICATION || My doctor is the chillest bomb.com & I am so thankful to God for putting me in her hands. I was able to discuss with her beforehand my fears of having PPD, & postpartum I was able to go to her with my symptoms, which resulted immediately in an effective anti-depressant prescription (yes, I was still able to breastfeed!). Never underestimate modern medicine where it has proved effective for so many. It's cliche, but TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. We're dealing with a mental illness that could potentially harm you & your child: BOTH of you deserve the safety of a stable mind & reliable hormone balances!

(note: something that prevented my mother from getting immediate help was the belief that she just needed to "have more faith" & her emotions would go away. this is a lie. this is a damnable lie. i thank the Lord that we HAVE a medical body that offers us effective medicine for actual, physical problems like PPD. it's not a "lack of faith," it's a physical illness expressing itself through the mind. you can't just get over it. you can't just pray it away. God has graciously given us a means of correcting the issue: take advantage of that!)

SUPPORT SYSTEM || My husband & I live in the same city as my parents, his parents, & my brother + sister-in-law. We get together frequently throughout the week. We have gone to the same church for as long as I've been alive. In short, I HAVE PEOPLE TO DEPEND ON. This is an enormous benefit for the mother suffering PPD. One of the worst things you can do if you have PPD is to shut yourself up in your own mind & try to "take care of things" yourself. You CAN'T. You are actually, physically ill: you need support & clear minds to help guide you.

note for mothers: if you don't have a support-system, do everything in your power to get one! church, work, online friends - whatever & whoever, find people you can trust & tell them what you may be / are facing. YOU NEED THEM.

note for family & friends: if a new mother in your circle shows signs of PPD, or honours you with the privilege of being told she IS suffering mental problems, ON NO ACCOUNT BRUSH HER OFF. she is ill & she needs your help. her baby needs your help. immediately show her that you care, that you understand, that you are there for her. NEVER take her symptoms lightly. your compassion could be the gateway to her healing. NEVER try to rationalize her communications. NEVER try to argue her into a "right way of thinking." take everything she shares with you at serious face value & offer her support, understanding, & love.

thank you

Although this is just a cursory overview of PPD & its treatment, I apologize that it is such a lengthy post. However, I feel extremely strongly on this issue, & I want women to be prepared, for their friends & family to be ready to offer support. Mental illnesses are invisible, but real, serious, sometimes life-threatening. Mothers, there is nothing wrong with YOU, but there is something wrong with your body. I want to share the hope of familial & medical help because it IS there for you to take! Whatever postpartum looks like for you, my desire is that we all cherish our families & live a stable, loving life with our babies. <3

It was late. I was tired. I had a headache. I had taken Tylenol PM, Zzquil, muscle relaxant, + melatonin. I was in bed. I had nothing to write with. So I opened "notes" on my phone + blearily scrawled a memo for a blog post, hoping that I would be able to decipher it come morning.

"don't have an agenda just creepy sometimes"

That was it. Fortunately for you, I'm not going to leave you to figure out where to put the emphasis on this horrible piece of grammar, I'm going to make sense. I've had coffee, I can do this.

reader, meet horror

1. Just Because You're Not "In" This Genre Doesn't Mean You Can't Borrow It
When pitching to agencies + pigeon-holing your book for the market, you have to come up with SOME definitive genre to put your book in. People are heels-over-head in love with pigeon holes; we have to humour them. But the actual content of your writing can - probably SHOULD - incorporate elements from more than just a single genre. Be bold! Be brave! Surprise your readers!

2. This Genre Element Is Incredibly Effective
I see a lot of writers employing some method of torture/pain on their characters to evoke an emotional response in the reader. This on many levels is an immature tactic. Yes, if well done it can create sympathy + evoke compassion toward the afflicted, outrage toward the antagonist, etc., but it is tricky to pull off. (Don't avoid it, though! It DOES have a place! Just don't shoot your character full of arrows to make your readers cry + have done.)

The value of horror lies in the emotional trauma inflicted, not merely on the character, but on your reader. The reader is no longer merely a bystander watching the plot unfold, the situation goes directly to the psyche of the reader with a sucker-punch impact. You don't even have to minutely describe the pain (physical or mental) of the character: the description of the situation is enough to bear the impact directly through the character to the reader, creating a "ghost-character" of the reader.

I gathered up the shaking, tumbled kid from the snarl of briars, lifting it to the mass of furs over my chest, but as I attempted it, the little thing suddenly spooked as though struck by an electric current, squealing in my arms and nearly hurtling back to the ground as I shrieked and struggled to grasp it.

“Hold still—hold still!” I cried. “Where have I hurt you?”

In the weird moongloom I saw it crane back its head to look at me with one eye—and that eye, rolling, rolling, slowly backward to my face, stark-white and stricken mad.

“Sh-h-h-h-h-h…” said a ghost-wind from the wood. “Don’t shout. You’ll scare the poor thing.”

My arms slackened and the kid fell in a lifeless pile to my feet. In the great black arch of the wood-mouth, into which the overgrown track ducked and vanished in an instant, there was first a rustle in the air, as of dry leaves shivering in a funeral breeze—a sudden, huge sense of a body there, looming toward me—and then I could see it.
Two rows of shining teeth and canines like a tiger’s, coming toward me in the darkness. No head, only the teeth smiling, smiling like they would laugh at any moment. Then a nose materialized, first with black holes for its nostrils and white with bone, flooding over with a dark skin only a shade paler than the night. The eyes jumped out at me in two sudden silver flashes, throwing twin bars of glare across the dark, and then the whole thing had come full from the woodshore before me, horse-big and horse-shaped, without it ears and without any muscle on its frame to hide the gaunt outline of its bones.

“Boo, little bunny.”

My heart. In my throat. A huge, bulbous, swollen vessel throbbing so hard I felt I would vomit and throw up blood.

“No?” it asked; smoke-tendrils which might have served as ears swivelled upward with sadistic amusement. “You don’t like that?”

The ground kicked up under my feet and I hurtled backward with a guttural scream wrenching in my ears; at the same instant, above me, the creature’s skull opened from the jaw with a crack, doubling back over its own neck with a burst of reddish powder-cloud and a ripping noise like a butcher breaking open the ribs of a pig. The dark flooded in fold on fold over the thing until it was completely obscured…and then flowed off it backwards again, revealing, not a macabre horse, but something fairy-shaped and man-formed, white as death and shrouded with its own grey-mottled wings.

“Is this more becoming to you?” it smiled.

Its teeth were the same.adamantine rewrite

The imprint of the images on your nerves stays awhile, doesn't it? Very little of the protagonist's feelings are described: I've left the narrative description to carry past her to you, the reader - so you don't need me to tell you how SHE feels, YOU feel everything for her.

3. What Can Create Horror?
Again, it needn't be physical pain. This doesn't have to be an employment of weird slasher-flick moments in your writing. Your plot will dictate IF you use horror, WHEN you use horror, + HOW you use horror. Here are some aspects to keep in mind:

SUCKER PUNCH || I've got lots of comments on my writing, saying it is "graphic" + "violent," and yes to an extent there are those elements (periodically, in their proper places) in my writing. But the knee-jerk reaction, which belies the power of my use of horror, isn't because of the degree of violence or graphic imagery, it's in the unexpected blow. The reader didn't see it coming, didn't prepare for the hit to the nerves. That's one of the number one aspects that makes a horrific moment so powerful: you are totally defenseless to the shredding of your nerves. Yay!

GROTESQUE, SURREAL, UNNATURAL || Most well-hinged folk find the twisted + bizarre to be unnerving. It gives us, at the very least, a sense of unease, and can quickly increase in revulsion.

(Tip: converge something WRONG with something aaaaaaalmost right. In the description above, I've nearly given you the image of a horse - very familiar - but I've stripped it of muscles + ears, rendering it almost right but completely + macabre WRONG. The reader feels this intuitively + a boat-load of graphic imagery is NOT necessary to make an emotional impact. Also see "uncanny valley.")

& YEAH YOU CAN BE GROSS || Because gross is a mainstay of horror. Again, the caveat applies: don't just be gross for the sake of being gross, be smart about it! Yuck, gross, unsanitary, death, decay - we are both spiritually + physically designed to revolt against their presence. Here is another place the reader + protagonist instantly share a common reaction.

4. How Is This Going to Positively Impact My Readers?
Sometimes, it won't. See above, where some readers have accused me of being too graphic + too violent. Some people just DON'T LIKE horror. They don't WANT yuck. They don't WANT the macabre. If so, then stories containing this element are not for them.

But the strength of this element lies in the link it creates between the reader + protagonist without the labouring process of explaining + detailing the protagonist's feelings. As readers, we WANT to be connected with the story. We want to feel like we are there. The instant bond of horror achieves this. The story stays with the reader because he has experienced it, rather than merely digested the words.

in conclusion: don't write off horror as merely sadistic slasher motifs: it can be a very effective tool for the writer to communicate emotion to the reader. have fun with it!