Star Trek For Non-Trekkies: A Primer

Maybe some of us couldn't tell a Wookie from a Worf even if a phaser set to a million phase-units were aimed at our heads. So, in an effort to add some context to Friday's release of Star Trek, we've prepared a short primer for non-Trekkies.

Friday's premiere of the new Star Trek move has piqued the curiosity of plenty of moviegoers whose interest in the Star Trek realm was heretofore contentedly dormant (if even existent). Not that we want to come right out and say it, but maybe some of us thought it was called "Star Track" for several years. Maybe some of us couldn't tell a Wookie from a Worf even if a phaser set to a million phase-units was aimed at our foreheads.

What with all the Next Generations and Voyagers and Deep Space Nines, we can hardly be blamed if the hackneyed "Beam me up, Scotty" is the only discernable nugget we've been able to extract from the intimidating fog. So, in an effort to add some context to Friday's trip to the movies, we've prepared a short primer for non-Trekkies, after the jump (to warp drive!).

Here are the basics: The Star Trek storyline, the genesis of which is sometime in the mid-21st century, follows the travels, travails, and triumphs of humans and their intergalactic friends and enemies. Star Trek humans can travel faster than the speed of light, thanks to a little device called the warp drive, and have thus come in contact with alien races such as the Vulcans, Klingons, and Borg. Almost all the films and series follow the crew (James T. Kirk and his crew, or subsequent "generations") of a deep-space vessel (such as The USS Enterprise) that's part of the Starfleet (like the Navy?) of the United Federation of Planets (like the U.N.?).

Memory Alpha, the Wikipedia of Star Trek, is an oft-recommended starting point. On the site's "Star Trek"
entry, we find that it is essentially a science fiction franchise
comprising six television series and eleven films, plus numerous books,
comics, games and collectibles. Each nebulous-sounding title ("Star
Trek: Enterprise," for example) simply refers to a certain point in
time and location within the epic Star Trek storyline that the
particular film or series is portraying.

On Memory Alpha, click through to the basic film summary to get yourself up to speed on what happened from the first movie, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, 1979, up through Star Trek Nemesis, 2002. If you're feeling particularly ambitious, click back to the main "Star Trek" entry and peruse the individual summaries of each of the six television series. As "Captain Kirk" and "warp drive" and "Sulu" suddenly come into focus, you can let your curiosity carry you from topic to topic. In a pinch, a single viewing of Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan provides the casual fan with sufficient plot/character knowledge to go forward, according to scificool.com.

For more information on a certain Star Trek-related topic, such as military science and technology, games, and fan fiction, visit io9.com, which published "The Online Guide to All Things Star Trek" on Thursday.

Bonus: To help you bluff your way through Friday's premiere, visit babylon.com
for an English-to-Klingon online language translator. You'll be able to
spout off things like "nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'" ("where is the
bathroom?") just like a genuine Trekkie. Warning: The translator is not
a simple install; it installs in the system tray, so you'll probably
want to uninstall it once you're Klingon'ed out. Here's what Google's homepage would look like if it were in Klingon.

Now that you're up to (warp!) speed, here's what has so many Trekkies so excited: The new Star Trek revisits the 23rd century alongside Captain Kirk, Spock, and the USS Enterprise crew. Chris Pine assumes William Shatner's "Captain Kirk" role, Zachary Quinto assumes Leonard Nimoy's "Spock," Simon Pegg assumes James Doohan's "Scotty," John Cho assumes George Takei's "Sulu," and so forth. The story has a new villain in Eric Bana's "Nero," a Romulan with a war machine from the future whom Kirk and his wet-behind-the-ears crew must defeat. Simple, right?

If a bully hasn't given you a noogie, a swirly, or an Indian burn by now, your heart must not be in it. At any rate, be patient with yourself and your new acquaintance with the complex Star Trek universe (45 years in the making) and enjoy the show. Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!

Now sit back, enjoy the ride, and come back later to take a look at all these resources, so you too can tell a Romulan from a Redshirt.