Thursday, February 3, 2011

Insert Random Alphanumeric Code Here

It began on an average day in Chaotic. Tom had just won another match (barely), Clay and Krystella were plotting their next scan scam, and Kaz and Sarah were watching Peyton cram down his eleventh Berith Beyond burrito when, out of nowhere, he appeared. He had a small, skinny build, unusual for his kind, but his beautiful snow-white hair and deep, blue eyes set on his perfectly-formed face made you look past his physique completely, as did his top-of-the-line clothes and shoes. His name was Xavier Nathaniel Zenith Peacemaker, but here he was also to be known as…

"GryStu," one of the service droids said. "Please proceed to the Hotekk drome for your first match."

Xavier nodded and headed to the drome.

"New player, huh?" Tom said, staring at the Hotekk videoscreen in the lounge. "Let's see how he does."

Then they saw Xavier's opponent: HercuLeon, the undefeated OverWorld player.

"Hah!" Clay laughed. "The boy doesn't have a prayer!"

The two players selected their teams. HercuLeon used Heptadd, his best Creature, while Xavier selected a Creature that nobody had ever seen before: Gigarexx, and UnderWorlder with massive disciplines.

Within two minutes, Xavier had won and HercuLeon had never landed a blow. He wasn't mad after losing, though, even to and UnderWorlder. In fact, he begged Xavier to trade him some UnderWorlder scans, as he wanted to start using them after such a match. Xavier agreed. He had plenty to spare.

When he left the drome, Xavier was flocked by adoring fans. That was the first day of a week of prosperity.

On the second day, Xavier made his first journey into Perim. He befriended all tribes—OverWorlder, UnderWorlder, Mipedian, Danian, and even M'arrillian. They let him scan everything they had, adding to his ever-growing arsenal of overpowered scans.

On the third day, he met Clay and Krystella, and, after a short talk with them, he got them to repent and give back every scan they ever scammed. Players praised him highly.

On the fourth day, he won 1,000 consecutive drome matches, then challenged the Codemasters. He defeated all seven of them at once with a single Creature. Players now saw him as a god.

On the fifth day, he discovered a simple Mugic that purged Prexxor Chasm of its ailment, brought water to the Mipedian desert, and stopped lava eruptions in the UnderWorld, all without harming any of the native Creatures. He was a Perim-wide hero.

On the sixth day, he wrote up a treaty and finally ended Perim's endless war. All tribes signed immediately, and not a single Creature was unhappy about it. Chaor, Maxxor, and Lord Van Bloot even became best friends.

On the seventh day, he discovered where the Cothica was hidden, and shared its power with all of Perim, guaranteeing peace and prosperity forevermore.

But then, on the eighth day, a new player appeared. He was a teenager, tall and slightly overweight, dressed in a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He had badly unkempt hair and traces of a goatee to match. His eyes were covered by a pair of wire-frame glasses outfitted with clip-on shades. All in all, not the most intimidating guy ever.

"Xavier Nathaniel Zenith Peacemaker?" he asked, pointing at Xavier.

"Ah, another adoring fan," Xavier said with a smile. "What might your name be?"

"Marcus," the teenager replied, pulling out a badge. "Agent Marcus of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society. You're under arrest for multiple counts of uprooting storylines and toying with plots."

"Doing good is fine," Marcus replied. "It's doing perfect that you're in trouble for. You've cut off this fandom's flow of events, and just to make yourself look good. You're going away for a long time."

"The Society will find your weakest moments," Marcus replied, eerily calm. "I have an associate who enjoys disemboweling his prey, and would be glad to take you if I should fail." He shook his head. "But I detest resorting to such gratuitous acts of violence. Therefore, I have a proposal for you."

"What kind of proposal?" Xavier asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A wager," Marcus responded. "One Chaotic match. One Creature each. If I win, you go with me without a fight, but if you win, I'll push the paperwork through and grant you immunity for your crimes, provided you never leave this fandom. Do you accept?" he inquired, extending a hand.

"You must be joking!" Xavier laughed, grabbing the hand in a vigorous shake. "I can't lose!"

"Do you accept?" Marcus repeated, slipping a strange device out of his sleeve and onto Xavier's wrist.

There was a blinding flash of light just before Xavier shouted, "Of course I accept!"

"Wait," the Gary-Stu said, blinking in confusion. "What did you just do?"

"I used my prohibitor," Marcus said with a grin. "This tricky little doodad stops any and all of your Gary-Stu powers, as well as erasing any Stu-ish past actions. Don't worry, though. If you win, I'll remove it."

"I will win!" Xavier said, holding up his scanner. "There's no way you can beat my—wait," he said, his smile dropping immediately. "Where are all my awesome ultra-rares?"

"Gone," Marcus replied. "Your Stu powers have been shut off. You only have normal scans now."

"Your Stu-ish heroics never happened, remember?" Marcus chuckled. "They don't remember. To them, the week passed as normal. You have no friends here. You're on your own, and if you back out of our match I'll consider it a forfeit and arrest you on the spot."

Xavier snarled, but then said, "Fine! I'll still beat you!"

Marcus laughed, but took him to the drome.

The match was quick and easy. Xavier's dirt-common scans were no match for Marcus's uncommons.

"A bet's a bet," Marcus said. "Time to go."

"Are you nuts?" Xavier said. "I'm not a Gary-Stu anymore! I don't have to be perfect and keep my word! I'm out of here!"

Dozens of honest players suddenly jumped up and chased after the Gary-Stu as he ran out the door past Clay and Krystella.

"He's headed for Battledrome Imthor!" Clay announced.

At once, Marcus and the crowd ran out to the drome, and, once they were gone, Xavier walked back in.

"Thanks," he said.

"Okay, kid, that'll be one rare scan," Krystella sneered. "We don't help people for free."

Xavier ignored them and ran to the 'port court, transporting himself to somewhere in Perim.

When the mob returned Clay told them everything out of pure spite. Marcus listened closely and began searching Perim, knowing that with the prohibitor on, Xavier couldn't possibly escape this fandom. He finally got a lead from H'earring, the UnderWorlder scout, at his home in UnderWorld City.

"The guy wanted me to use my only Dischord of Disarming on some weird BattleGear on his wrist," he said, munching on a nasty-looking fruit. "I told him to get lost, but when he offered me a whole sack of fungus fruit…well, I just couldn't say 'no'. Then he opened a hole in the air and disappeared into it."

"Plothole," Marcus growled. He had failed. Xavier was still on the loose.

With that, he left the fandom and returned to base to tell the Society what had happened.

"My apologies about his escape," Marcus sighed.

"Eh, no big deal," replied Michael, a tall, round-faced boy with a sword strapped to his back.

"Yeah," said Miri, a younger, dark-haired girl. "And you managed to erase all the damage he did. Your prohibitor really works."

"I made a mistake not calling backup again," Marcus muttered.

"Yes, you did," commented Tash, the tall, blonde Society leader. "It's a good thing, too, because if you didn't make mistakes, we'd be pursuing you."