Couple of days ago we celebrated my mom and dad’s 31 Marriage Anniversary.31 yrs of marriage well not a big deal for both of them ,but for us me and my wife , we always wonder how did they make it . What are their secrets ? Can we learn something from both of them and their relationship . We got married recently and we both know its not that easy my friends . But we are sure we both have a lot to learn from our each other parents relationships. On our journey in learning all this we collected few pointers that we both would love to share that might help our and all readers in building a healthy relationship .

1] Respect,Respect, Respect:

The first and the foremost thing that we saw in our parents relationship is the respect they would have for each other .Its respecting each other as an individual person for what you are and who you are .It’s a fact that is well know , until you respect your partner for who he /she is till that point relationship can never prosper .The other person is not just your husband or wife , but he is human being after all in this universe . Do we have a respect for what he or she is .Does our natural instinct just tell us that yes she/he is the person who I respect the most .... sorry folks not love . You respect your partner first and then love them for what they are .

"Do you respect your partner?Do you feel that you simply feel that you need to respect him/her for for he/she is "?

2] Trust each other down to the core of your heart:

"Trust" " Faith" very common words used when in relations to any kind of bond , relationship. If you respect your partner , you then only start trusting them , keeping faith in them .Its not that easy yah i know, especially in this kind of the world .But well that would be the secret recipe for sure for a happy Successful relationship.

There would be days when you fail in some task in professional life. But well its just when you come back home and get a hug from your better half you know that they trust you and you would achieve success the next time . That simple knowing makes our day . A survey conducted reported that one of the gist of being successful and being a millionaire is the support, faith and trust of there better half's all the time." Trust " the magic word for your relationship.

"Do you trust your partner ?Do you have faith in them" ? "Even if the world falls would you be with your partner and would your partner support you"?

3] Allow each other to grow as a person in this world:

Both my parents were working parents, they both had their own priorities in their life in regards to profession life as well as personal life .Both worked hard to make sure each other can reach to their own personal growth .They had this terrific support of each other that made it work .Its just nice to see your better half grow in front of you , that does not make you a smaller person {even if she/he earns more than you}.Yes many couples miss that part in life when it comes to nourishing each other ,physical, mental ,spiritual growth , hampering each other’ s aspiration .

"Do you allow your partner to Grow as an individual "?

4] Sacrifice ,Compromise,Commitment are the most common words :

When we decided to get married the most common words of advice we got from every one was Sacrifice, Commitment , Compromise .Oh you have to compromise , sacrifice are u ok with that ... Well you do it just because you love your better half ... that's all .And if you do it please do not make it known to each other that you do .They know it that you have made that compromise and its just for them and just for their love .

"Are you willing to compromise for your partner ? Would your partner compromise for you"?

5] Know each other weak points and try to heal them not cover them:

In one of the relationship guides I came upon this statement which is carved in my heart .Its so true that we should not only know our weak points but also of our our partner. Well we are Humans after all. In a successful marriage , we try to cover each others weakness , we even can work on those and change them for the good for each others .

I know my parents do that very well . They first of all know when either one of them would make a mistake , and yes they would try to make sure that the other partner works on those weak spots .No ego in changing , no grudges , no anger .

"Would you work in hiding and changing your partner's weakness "?

6]Listen ..to one another:

A good husband is a one who listens a lot ... ohh yah I am sure many of female readers would agree on that . Well any one would like to be listen at the end of the day .Every individual has some stuff to share .. and you being the better half .. then yes for sure .It’s something about chores of the day, the politics of work .Yes that can be a little irritating when we ourselves are going through the same .But yes it might be good if we forget for a moment of our own issues and just lend our ear's for our better half .

"Do you Listen to your Partner ? Do you hear them , their sorrows, their happiness" ?

7] Words of Kindness, Love, Care are worth Diamonds in a Relationship :

I know that i cannot buy diamonds for all the occasions for my better half , but what would be in my hand is this simple tool . “ Dear I love you” “ Darling thanks for this nice soup that you made” .Nothing wrong in a word of kindness or praise for your better half .They are worth a lot in a relationship .A small pat , a nice kiss , a small rose , a little praise during really crazy days makes her day memorable .Do not need Valentine day to enjoy and nurture any relationship. Let this actions come out from our heart , and please do not be mechanical .Yes we do , its like we program our self to say those words like thanks and sorry in this cultured world . So let it be a sincere effort from your side .

"Go off your way today and buy a small Rose to your partner , thanks them and see the effects".

8] Arguments are battles never let them to be war :

The difference between battle and war ,is battle is just one day or even few hours , a war goes on and on for days , months ,years .... In a relationship arguments , rowe;s are always there . Two people cannot agree on all things every day in their life .Its how you adjust to each other .But yes if we land up in argument keep it low and just for few hours .Try never to go more than that , and try not to repeat a same mistake again and again.Again the golden rule we are human , mistakes happen , but try not repeating them again and again.Do not ever go for I win , you lose scenario. Avoid those for sure .

"Do you keep old Grudges about your partner" ?

9] Ego: The Ultimate Marriage goal :

When I got married ,what I found was suddenly my world was not I , it was always We .I was never singular in the society , and then by itself We both accepted being We in the society . "I" an symbol of ego suddenly vanishes in thin air with out a single thought .Marriage makes that difference that's for sure .Try it and say " I did this today my sweetheart" and try this " We did this today my sweet heart". Just speak it and see the difference of both the sentences .We statement is more nourishing and calming than the I statement .

"Do you use "WE" commonly in your relationship or its still "I" Ghost that haunts your relationship".

Friends do help me with some more pointers for me and many more for a good married life.

A relationship doesn't begin our life;a relationship doesn't become our life.A relationship is a continuation of life.

Hi Sudeep,Very well said. Couldn't agree with you more. Marriage is a huge lesson, and for the past 2 years, I can say I learnt alot about compromising, respect, and forgiveness in a relationship, and still learning until today. Thanks so much for sharing, and giving me a chance to revise some of them.

I really enjoyed reading your tips on what makes a good marriage. It's our 17th wedding anniversary on 16th May and I can honestly say they have been very good years, but I am sure the best are yet to come.

My parents have been happily married for 54 years and I think they can tick all the 9 points you have mentioned in your post.

Great advice, it is so especially #9. I never realize how big my ego was until I got married and had children of my own. Our parents have a combined 90 years of marriage so we have had great examples. But we all need to be reminded of the obvious from time to time.