For example, instead of asking a fellow party guest, “Are you here with your family?” you might ask, “How did you meet the host?”

3. Allow your conversation partner to teach you.

“If there’s a subject you’re not familiar with, just be honest with that person and nine out of ten times they will teach you about it,” writes Michael Wong.

It goes back to that central idea of letting other people do most of the talking. Asking the other person to explain what they mean means they will be talking for at least another few minutes.

4. Read the news.

In the days leading up to a social function, take time to peruse the news, “including the sections that don’t really interest you,” writes Mark Simchock.

That way, if a conversation should come to an abrupt halt, you can fill the silence with, “Hey, did you hear about …” or “Man, how about that … ?”

5. Share anecdotes.

Don’t hesitate to let your conversation partner know that you can relate to what he or she is telling you, says Ellen Vrana. “This forms a bond,” she adds.

For example, if your partner says he or she spent time living in another country and you did as well, share a story or two about your years abroad. You’ll likely prompt the other person to tell you about some similar memories.

6. Practice the FORM technique.

Robert Adams uses a special mnemonic to keep conversations flowing easily:

F-amily: Do you have kids? Where is your family from? How long have you lived around here?

O-ccupation: What do you do for a living? What is that like? Have you always been a circus acrobat?

R-ecreation: What do you guys do for fun? How long have you been involved in SCA? Where do you buy chain-mail, or did you make it yourself?

M-oney: What happened with the price of gas? Did you see that last school bond issue? How do you think the new liquor store laws will shake out? Anybody you know lose their job lately?

7. Be honest.

“There’s nothing wrong with just saying, ‘You know, I hate small talk, so how about we talk about something big?'” writes Derek Scruggs. Chances are, your conversation partner will feel somewhat relieved.

Scruggs recommends having on hand a few “big” questions that promote intimacy, including: “What’s something that scared you today?” and “Are you happy with your current lifestyle?”