Way #42: Peace of Mind

Even with the world in turmoil, we can be at inner peace. To attain that equilibrium, focus on the needs of your soul.

Everyone is pro-peace. But when Jews hail each other with that famous greeting, Shalom Aleichem – "peace unto you" – it really refers to a wish for inner peace. Because all the pleasures in the world are just stepping stones to peace of mind.

Way #42 is ma'amido al hashalom – literally "set people at peace."

The Hebrew word for peace – shalom – comes from shalem, which means wholeness, completion and perfection. Real peace is much more than a cessation of war. In fact, peace of mind is independent of external circumstances. The world can be in turmoil, but a person can be at peace with himself. And vice versa: The world can be peaceful, but a person can be torn up inside.

What Is Inner Peace?

Everybody at some time or another has felt inner conflict. This usually surfaces when a moral decision has to be made. The greater the moral decision, the greater the inner conflict.

The source of this battle is between the two opposing "human natures" of body and soul. The body gravitates toward transitory comforts and sensual pleasures. It desires to quit, to dream, to drown in passions, to procrastinate. The body says: Give me some food, warmth, a pillow. Let me take it easy.

The soul, on the other hand, desires meaning, accomplishment, permanence, greatness, reality and truth.

These two forces clash. We want to be tough, but we feel like being marshmallows. We want to be great, but we don't feel like making the effort. We want to be independent, but we feel like being seduced.

And even when we're not aware of it, this conflict is raging within us. Peace only comes when we resolve that inner strife. Do you want greatness or do you want to be average? Wake up!

Peace: Victory of the Soul

The Talmud teaches: "The righteous talk to their bodily desires, while evil people let their desires talk to them." The question is: Who's running the show? Who will dictate what you're going to do?

Hedonists believe that we should surrender to the body and follow its whims. But a lustful pleasure never lasts long, and usually leaves a bitter aftertaste. Every time you give in to the body's desires – when you lose your temper, fail to stand up for your beliefs, or succumb to lust – the good feeling lasts only a moment, and then you end up getting depressed and angry with yourself.

Self-respect – the only real peace – comes from siding with the soul.

So what is the goal? To get to the body to desire what the soul wants. Because there's no way to achieve peace by giving in to the body. Your soul will simply not give up. Never.

But the body can go along with the soul. Of course it "hurts" a little to walk away from an immediate pleasure. But we can survive without it.

Body Training

Getting your body to agree with the soul doesn't mean you have to crush the body.

The body's drive is a positive force to be harnessed. The trick is to teach the body to supply the same energy and enthusiasm when pursuing meaning, as it does when pursuing a candy bar. The body is where the passion is, where the power is. Get it to join your act.

Train your body to be in tune with your soul. When you feel the body's resistance, talk to it. Cajole it. Reassure it.

Imagine a jogger, out for the first time on a long run. The body protests: "Don't be a masochist… We'll have a heart attack… We'll never make it beyond this corner… Stop already!"

Only firm willpower can squelch the body's resistance and get it to comply. How? By constantly reassuring it of the higher value of being in shape, thin and healthy. "This is what you really want… Imagine how much better you'll feel… You'll be respected…You'll live longer."

Two months later, if you miss a day of jogging, the body says, "Hey, what's going on? I missed the pleasure of that workout!"

Figure out what you want and overrule the body. Paint the prospects in glowing terms, until you reduce the body's anxiety. Keep drilling until the body's resistance has worn down and becomes your soul's willing partner. Just like jogging, you can measure it: How much drilling will it take before the body goes along with my goal? It may take awhile for the body to adjust – but it becomes increasingly easier.

Use discipline. Drill, drill, drill. Get your higher goals to "grab your guts," and sink the body's passion into the soul's desire.

Be ready for that madness of the body fighting you and don't let go. Because if you let go, then the body will run wild!

Soul's Goals, Body's Drive

When you're locked in a moral battle, and both choices seem equally tempting, how do you know which "voice" is talking?

If the result of a decision will be comfort and ease, then it's probably your body talking. Whereas if the result will be more kindness and patience, then that's your soul.

The key is to focus your goals. If you don't understand what your soul really wants, then you'll be locked in a constant battle.

The soul wants to be good and to help people. Beware of people who are into illusions of peace. They may say, "I want to do the right thing," but they may be too hysterical to sit down and discuss the issues. The body is afraid of losing it's control.

People who are into the real stuff say, "Come, let us reason together." The soul is not afraid.

Big Cause for Peace

One of the best ways to get the body into spiritual meaning is to have a cause.

A person needs to focus their life around a cause that's bigger than they are. This way, the body will pull itself together on the side of the soul. When we're fighting for something we believe in, the "body-soul conflict" almost automatically comes to a halt. We are willing to go to any lengths because the body's voice is submerged in an overwhelming cause.

That's why, all over the world and throughout history, people have sacrificed their lives for higher causes.

Nationalism is one example of how this plays out. War, as destructive as it is, creates a cause bigger than the individuals fighting. It was reported following a recent war that children were asking their parents, "When are we going to have another war?" The parents said, "What do you mean? War is terrible!" The children said, "When we were at war, our nation was united, there was no quarreling, everyone was kind to one another. War was so nice!"

That's the irony. When a nation is fighting for its survival, there's a sense of inner peace. People don't worry about pettiness like the neighbor's new car, or the cleaner who over-starched the shirts. There is something more important. We'll listen carefully to any workable idea. We'll let anyone lead as long as he's capable. We lift ourselves into the greatness of the cause.

Of course, there are far more constructive ways of achieving this same effect. Like fixing the world, for example. Isn't that the greatest "cause" of all? Well, almost…

The Cause of It All

When people fight for a cause, what are they really looking for? What is the ultimate desire of the soul?

Greatness… eternity… oneness with God.

God is One. That's the real cause everyone is aiming for. Saving humanity is small compared to doing the will of the Eternal. That's the ultimate.

Jews get in contact with this morning and night, by reciting the Shema prayer: "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One." We're focused on what the soul ultimately wants.

Saying the Shema is an effective tool to become focused, integrated and complete.

Get Others Into Their Potential

Once you've achieved some degree of inner peace, help others do the same. The same way you went through the steps to recognize the inner conflict, take others down the same road.

Look at your friend's potential and arouse him to greatness. Be ambitious for him. Aim at making him big. Imagine: "If I can get him in touch with his soul, how would that unleash his powers? If he could be an integrated being, how high could he fly? If he could be happier, how would that transform his relationships? If he could be more disciplined, what great things could he achieve?"

Of course, the next question is: How do you get someone to be great?

Many people are so used to inner conflict that they've accepted it as status quo. They accept mediocrity as a way of life, as if greatness is only for "great people." People often don't know what they really want from life. And if they don't know what's worth pursuing, they lose the motivation to try.

Teach people to have goals, and teach them to figure out what goals are worthwhile. Keep asking: "What do you want?" Focus them: "Can you be truly happy if you're striving to be mediocre? Can you be at peace if you're not feeling fulfilled?"

If you inspire others, that will give you a more powerful dimension of wisdom. Because by working objectively to help make others powerful, we master it for ourselves, too.

Besides, if you succeed in unleashing another's potential, then you yourself have achieved greatness. Because the best gift one person can give another is peace of mind. And you now share in every one of their accomplishments.

Why is "Peace of Mind" a Way to Wisdom?

If someone doesn't know what he's living for, then he's at war with himself.

You cannot have peace while being mediocre.

When we think big, we become big. Look around the world and see how much you can accomplish.

Greatness is achieved by leading with the soul, and harnessing the passionate power of the body.

Visitor Comments: 18

Thank you! This is something I needed to hear and that came at the right time...

(16)
dy48,
June 14, 2013 9:43 AM

Rav Noach inspired me to live this teaching.

Indeed I had the zechut of working under the guidance of the Rosh haYeshiva for several years in an effort to bring true and lasting peace to our troubled land.Rav Noach was "ambitious for me" and much was accomplished.

(15)
Aaron Wolfson,
January 20, 2012 12:04 PM

Bless you Rabbi

Thank you!

(14)
Yechiel,
December 9, 2008 7:57 PM

Thank you...I needed that

...made me realize what I should have known all along.Thank you Rebbe :-)

(13)
Rosen,
December 7, 2008 11:48 AM

never say never to peace and hope

The reason why many of us have peace of mind is that we often have the attitude never to say never in giving up hope.

(12)
elie marcuse,
June 5, 2008 4:26 AM

knitting is about one small thread

Dear Rav,
you are right shalom is an education not just an automatic greeting! Tell us about the need to start small and daily persistence: one inch a day and what a journey in one year!
Be zehirout be shalom
Elie

(11)
owais,
September 8, 2006 12:10 PM

I felt nice after reading

keep it up

(10)
Anonymous,
September 22, 2004 12:00 AM

a word of caution

When helping others to achieve piece of mind, try not to lecture them for not yet having reached their true potential. Help them in a way that shows acceptance for who they are instead of disappointment for who they are not.

(9)
Dr. Alan Laskow,
September 10, 2004 12:00 AM

So profound,yet,simple

Wonderfully inspiring piece. Gave this day direction and peace. Happy New Year!

(8)
Anna Scheller,
May 17, 2004 12:00 AM

I have been following the 48 Ways Series for the last few weeks.I find Rabbi Weinberg's articles insightful. I am starting a new business endeavor and got lost in getting the it off the ground. The work has been satifying but something was missing. Over the weekend I realized how I yearned for oneness with God. I could relate so well with the rabbi's statement "The ultimate cause the soul yearns for is oneness with God." I took time to commune with God and I already feel more complete. I look forward every morning to reading the 48 Ways.

(7)
Rajan,
January 26, 2004 12:00 AM

Very great Wisdom

every word displays a truth and has touched my Heart. From today, I will follow these principles and let me see what change will come, but I already feel myself changing

(6)
Steve Bush,
March 19, 2002 12:00 AM

Good words!

Hope to make Aliyah asap.

Steve Bush

(5)
,
May 20, 2001 12:00 AM

exactly wha I was looking for!

I was searching for info on the Sh'ma for a teaching during Shavuot. I found not only that, but the info on what you should concentrate on each day of the Omer - which I hve been wanting to find since about day 1. This information is incredibly interesting - Thank You!

(4)
Leticia Gonsette,
April 19, 2001 12:00 AM

vast source of finding the meaning of living in bliss.

I had really appreciated greatly this website and it has a lot of deep meaning in Living not just to live and continue living without meaning.

(3)
Les DuPuy,
November 2, 2000 12:00 AM

Meaningful, gets to the core problem.

Now, if we could get the Israeli and Palestinians to read and heed.

(2)
Al Alongi,
October 23, 2000 12:00 AM

A recommended reading.

Thank you... this reading was helpful to me and I have recommended it to others close to me.

(1)
Annette Lovett,
October 23, 2000 12:00 AM

brand new to Jewish culture and religion

From reading just one article, I have learned more about the Jewish religion and have been personally enriched and inspired to continue to learn about how to have peace within as well as without.

I'm told that it's a mitzvah to become intoxicated on Purim. This puzzles me, because to my understanding, it is not considered a good thing to become intoxicated, period.

One of the characteristics of the at-risk youth is their use of drugs, including alcohol. In my experience, getting drunk doesn't reveal secrets. It makes people act stupid and irresponsible, doing things they would never do if they were sober. Also, I know a lot about the horrible health effects of abusing alcohol, because I work at a research center that focuses on addiction and substance abuse.

Also, I am an alcoholic, which means that if I drink, very bad things happen. I have not had a drink in 22 years, and I have no intention of starting now. Surely there must be instances where a person is excused from the obligation to drink. I don't see how Judaism could ever promote the idea of getting drunk. It just doesn't seem right.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Putting aside for a moment all the spiritual and philosophical reasons for getting drunk on Purim, this remains an issue of common sense. Of course, teenagers should be warned of the dangers of acute alcohol ingestion. Of course, nobody should drink and drive. Of course, nobody should become so drunk to the point of negligence in performing mitzvot. And of course, a recovering alcoholic should not partake of alcohol on Purim.

Indeed, the Code of Jewish Law explicitly says that if one suspects the drinking may affect him negatively, then he should NOT drink.

Getting drunk on Purim is actually one of the most difficult mitzvot to do correctly. A person should only drink if it will lead to positive spiritual results - e.g. under the loosening affect of the alcohol, greater awareness will surface of the love for God and Torah found deep in the heart. (Perhaps if we were on a higher spiritual level, we wouldn't need to get drunk!)

Yet the Talmud still speaks of an obligation on Purim of "not knowing the difference between Blessed is Mordechai and Cursed is Haman." How then should a person who doesn't drink get the point of “not knowing”? Simple - just go to sleep! (Rama - OC 695:2)

All this applies to individuals. But the question remains - does drinking on Purim adversely affect the collective social health of the Jewish community?

The aversion to alcoholism is engrained into Jewish consciousness from a number of Biblical and Talmudic sources. There are the rebuking words of prophets - Isaiah 28:1, Hosea 3:1 with Rashi, and Amos 6:6, and the Zohar says that "The wicked stray after wine" (Midrash Ne'alam Parshat Vayera).

It is well known that the rate of alcoholism among Jews has historically been very low. Numerous medical, psychological and sociological studies have confirmed this. The connection between Judaism and sobriety is so evident, that the following conversation is reported by Lawrence Kelemen in "Permission to Receive":

When Dr. Mark Keller, editor of the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol, commented that "practically all Jews do drink, and yet all the world knows that Jews hardly ever become alcoholics," his colleague, Dr. Howard Haggard, director of Yale's Laboratory of Applied Physiology, jokingly proposed converting alcoholics to the Jewish religion in order to immerse them in a culture with healthy attitudes toward drinking!

Perhaps we could suggest that it is precisely because of the use of alcohol in traditional ceremonies (Kiddush, Bris, Purim, etc.), that Jews experience such low rates of alcoholism. This ceremonial usage may actually act like an inoculation - i.e. injecting a safe amount that keeps the disease away.

Of course, as we said earlier, all this needs to be monitored with good common sense. Yet in my personal experience - having been in the company of Torah scholars who were totally drunk on Purim - they acted with extreme gentleness and joy. Amid the Jewish songs and beautiful words of Torah, every year the event is, for me, very special.

Adar 12 marks the dedication of Herod's renovations on the second Holy Temple in Jerusalem in 11 BCE. Herod was king of Judea in the first century BCE who constructed grand projects like the fortresses at Masada and Herodium, the city of Caesarea, and fortifications around the old city of Jerusalem. The most ambitious of Herod's projects was the re-building of the Temple, which was in disrepair after standing over 300 years. Herod's renovations included a huge man-made platform that remains today the largest man-made platform in the world. It took 10,000 men 10 years just to build the retaining walls around the Temple Mount; the Western Wall that we know today is part of that retaining wall. The Temple itself was a phenomenal site, covered in gold and marble. As the Talmud says, "He who has not seen Herod's building, has never in his life seen a truly grand building."

Some people gauge the value of themselves by what they own. But in reality, the entire concept of ownership of possessions is based on an illusion. When you obtain a material object, it does not become part of you. Ownership is merely your right to use specific objects whenever you wish.

How unfortunate is the person who has an ambition to cleave to something impossible to cleave to! Such a person will not obtain what he desires and will experience suffering.

Fortunate is the person whose ambition it is to acquire personal growth that is independent of external factors. Such a person will lead a happy and rewarding life.

With exercising patience you could have saved yourself 400 zuzim (Berachos 20a).

This Talmudic proverb arose from a case where someone was fined 400 zuzim because he acted in undue haste and insulted some one.

I was once pulling into a parking lot. Since I was a bit late for an important appointment, I was terribly annoyed that the lead car in the procession was creeping at a snail's pace. The driver immediately in front of me was showing his impatience by sounding his horn. In my aggravation, I wanted to join him, but I saw no real purpose in adding to the cacophony.

When the lead driver finally pulled into a parking space, I saw a wheelchair symbol on his rear license plate. He was handicapped and was obviously in need of the nearest parking space. I felt bad that I had harbored such hostile feelings about him, but was gratified that I had not sounded my horn, because then I would really have felt guilty for my lack of consideration.

This incident has helped me to delay my reactions to other frustrating situations until I have more time to evaluate all the circumstances. My motives do not stem from lofty principles, but from my desire to avoid having to feel guilt and remorse for having been foolish or inconsiderate.

Today I shall...

try to withhold impulsive reaction, bearing in mind that a hasty act performed without full knowledge of all the circumstances may cause me much distress.

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