Category: Relationships

I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement. Fast-forward to today and I have three Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationships behind me (though I’ve had vanilla…

It was my deepest, darkest secret – something that nourished me, tortured me, yet ultimately tore my family apart: After seven years of marriage, the birth of three kids, and weathering the emotional storm of my husband’s infidelity, I made the choice to have an affair. Now I’m not revealing this today as some kind of…

When a spouse regularly works out of town, return trips home usually spell stress and chaos on the home front. Over time, resentment can easily grow around issues like downtime, chores, parenting and (lack of) sex. Here are some tips and insights to keep your relationship on track. Downtime: Respect that you both need it…

The Duke, The Duke, The Duke — without a doubt, he’s a big character in my book/movie that captures women’s attention. He is a sexual Dominant after all; a grown-up and much more believable “Christian Grey”. Alex Carter plays “The Duke” in my Lifetime movie – and dang…he is some convincing as a Dom, too (smiles). Anyhow — I want to…

From year two post-divorce… A close male friend of mine, one whose opinion I value greatly, keeps telling me: Gypsy (his nickname for me), you are so afraid to fall in love. You’ve built walls to protect yourself and keep men out, but you must be careful not to become your own prisoner. Immediately I…

The title of this blog may be a bit misleading. Cause I don’t want to talk in a professional tone or way about the “next serious relationship” after divorce. I want to talk about mine. That’s right. MY next serious relationship. I had one for over 20 months. And I never told you anything about…

Question: Hello Delaine, I have been happily dating a separated man for the past year as he finished up his divorce. His divorce was finally finalized last month. They were married for over 20 years and according to him, it wasn’t a good marriage. I’ve noticed, however, that ever since the divorce came through, he’s…

When Barb contacted me via email last week, she was clearly very upset. Only six months into her divorce, she’d discovered that her separated husband had a new serious girlfriend; they were even making plans to move in together. “It’s not that I want him back,” she wrote. “But it’s such a slap in the face –…

“I want a sensitive man.” It’s become a popular mating call by women these days, especially among women on the heels of a breakup or divorce. Oftentimes their former partners were, as one divorcing woman put it, “as expressive as a piece of cement.” Thus, the “sensitive man” — a guy who’s in touch with…

There’s a natural progression to relationships and it usually looks something like this: we date, we sleep over at each other’s houses more and more frequently, we move in together, we get married. Oftentimes, we look at moving in together/getting married stage as the ultimate ideal – lives are completely integrated. And we often assume that the quicker we get there, the…

Done With Fifty Shades of Grey….NOW What? By Zlata Faerman A good friend of mine recently told me, “Reading Fifty Shades of Grey literally changed my sex life.” When I asked her to explain further (even though, duh, I’m reading it too, so I get it), she said that she’s hasn’t felt so sexually charged…

Recently a divorced woman named Sue found herself in a “gross” conversation with her divorced griflriends. Not “gross” as in the subject matter was lude or disgusting; rather, the conversation left her feeling gross. For somehow, her friends’ conversation had shifted to her relationship with her boyfriend — and as she put it, “It was like…

Contributed by Gerald Rogers Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different. After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have…

Thinking back to my twenties, I remember I said the words “I love you” very soon in my relationships with men. The “love feelings” would overwhelm me: the closeness, the intimacy, the peace of feeling cared for and apart from the rest of the world. The warmth and power of these feelings would fill my chest, sometimes to the…

Though I don’t know my friend Tim really well, I’ve always held him in high regard. He’s smart, he’s personable and he’s also very kind: he’s rescued me numerous times when I was faced with household and car repairs! The other day, however, I got to thinking that it seemed strange that he was still single. I mean, I knew he was…

At various times since I got divorced, I’ve felt that life would be a heck of a lot better if I had another partner to share it with. Especially when I was going through ‘dark phases’ – God, how I yearned to have a man to protect,comfort, and love me… But four years later, I fully believe that when…

Hmm – I bet the issue in this letter resonates with many of you. Hi Delaine, I’ve been divorced a couple of times. A recent acquaintance told me if we were to get serious, she expected me to complete her “To-Do List” every evening after work. I am tired after work and just want to…

Unexpected change is sweeping through the lives of some of my dearest girlfriends these days. It has arrived wearing the face of divorce or break-up. As a result, deep and complex conversations around the nature of love, secrecy, and commitment have ensued. And now, for the first time in my life, I find myself seriously…

It’s a common fear among many divorced women and men – yet it’s something they oftentimes keep secret: that is, once they start seriously dating someone, their sex life will dry up and die a painful death like it did during their marriage. Lots of us carry wounds and fears around sex and intimacy into…

This is a question many divorced women ask after they’ve remarried – and one that can be source of stress and fear. After all, they don’t want to wrongly steal the spotlight from the kids’ biological father, nor do they want to upset their kids. At the same time, however, it seems a slap in…

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I survived my husband's infidelity and this divorce because of you, Delaine. Your insights, knowledge, and no bs attitude pushed me forward. I'm happier than ever, just as you said. Thank you. Karen, Toronto

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Delaine was invaluable to me as a started dating after my divorce. She really smarten me up as I dealt with divorce matters too. I owe her my sanity. Chad, NY

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Delaine, you are a GREAT coach! Please, don't ever stop doing what you're doing. The world needs you now more than ever.
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Thank you thank you thank you Delaine. You've been my rock, my teacher, my mentor this past year. I hate to think how far back I'd be if I hadn't found you. Kristina, Washington

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Delaine's not just text-book knowledgeable, she's been there. She KNOWS. She makes you ask the right questions of YOURSELF. She makes you get answers. She makes you the 'captain' of your new life.
Karie, South Carolina