About the people, politics and beliefs leading us down the road to pandemonium

political convention

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Finally, Some

Non-Fake News

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders surprised reporters at at the start of today's press briefing by reading a nine-year-old boy's adoring letter to the president. The letter writer's identity was not revealed and Sanders didn't disclose what steps had been taken to verify the document's authenticity. The briefing was the first where cameras were allowed since Sanders took over from Sean Spicer. Reporters were expected to ask about Republican moves in the Senate to abolish Obamacare and the president's attacks on Attorney General Sessions, among other hot topics. Sanders read the nine-year-old's letter before taking questions.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

In Case You Forgot, He’s
President

“The
fake news media tried to stop us from going to the White House. But I’m
president and they’re not.” —President Trump at a political rally July 2

Other
presidential Independence Day declarations:

"Twitter
thought they could stop me with their 140-character limit. But I’m
president and they’re not."

"They
said I could only have one scoop of ice cream? But I’m president and they’re
not."

"Emoluments
Clause, what Emoluments Clause? The simpletons known as Democrats say I
shouldn’t skim money from the Saudis and other foreign poohbahs who stay in my
hotels or pretend to play golf at my resorts. But I’m president and
they’re not."

"Millions
of ordinary people will be screwed out of health insurance if Trumpcare becomes
law. These losers think I should care. But I’m president and they’re
not."

"Mueller
and his gang think members of my campaign colluded with the Russians and fixed the election. But I’m
president and they’re not."

"Mika
and Megyn, Rosie and Hillary and all those other horrible women say I’m a
sexist pig. But I’m president and they’re not."

"Where
are Steve Bannon, Sean Spicer, Jared Kushner and Kellyanne Conway and all the
other hangers-on who still linger in the White House corridors? It
may soon be sayonara for them. But I’m president and they’re not."

"So
the fake media and the limp-doily Democrats are embarrassed because I
misremembered Frederick Douglass, thought Israel wasn’t in the Middle East and
shoved aside the prime minister of Montenegro during a diplomatic photo
op. But I'm president and they're not."

"Fake historians claimed I was wrong when I told the true story of Civil War hero Andrew Jackson. But I'm president and they're not."

"The
fake news media said I shouldn’t have talked about the Syrian missile strike while
having dinner with President Xi Jinping of China. Or were they upset about us digging into a big beautiful chocolate
cake? But I’m president and
they’re not. "The intelligence spooks said security was breached when I talked with Prime Minister Abe of Japan about secret intelligence on North Korea while having dinner at Mar-A-Lago. Okay, the waiters were hovering and the ears of other guests perked up. But I'm president and they're not."