A Left-Behind Parent Website

My Own Personal 9/11

Today marks seven years since I last spent a weekend with my daughter Lili. Both of us were happy and excited to see each other again on that weekend in September of 2004 as we hadn’t seen each other for three months prior to that. She wanted to go to Kasai Rinkai Koen, an amusement park and seaquarium in Chiba, and that’s what we did, of course.

I had no idea at the time that this was to be the last weekend we would ever spend together. In fact, I believed that things were going to go well from that point on.

We had a lot of fun together, watching all the animals splashing around and playing in their enclosures.

Lili seemed to be enjoying the day at the park, and I felt a sense of relief that, despite our long periods of separation, the bond that we shared remained strong.

We spent some time in the playroom there where Lili had fun playing with the other kids.

I took a lot of photos, not knowing that these would be the last pictures Lili’s proud father would ever take of her.

We rode on the big ferris wheel together

which overlooked the whole park.

I took some of pics of Lili on the ferris wheel, and couldn’t have been happier than in those precious moments.

We went out to dinner at the end of the day and then went home and played with the train set that we always enjoyed.

I took Lili home the next day, dropping her off at the train station in Chiba. I remember watching her walk away with her mother and grandmother, having no idea that all subsequent requests I was to make to see my daughter would rejected by her mother with the phrase “Lili doesn’t want to see you.”

And so, 9/11 is a date that invariably fills me with immeasurable sadness, for my own very personal reasons.

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6 Responses

I refuse to believe the last photos you’ll ever take with Lili. It breaks my heart to think of all which has been stolen from the two of you and her extended family. But you’re too good a man and I can easily imagine a great father for her not to want to see her Dad. Oh I hope it’s sooner. But nothing and no one can stop her from wanting to see you. She has too many good memories of your times spent together.

Thanks, Todd. I’m kind of a basket case today. Most days I can compartmentalize this and focus on the work of reuniting all of us with our kids, but this is not one of those days, I’m afraid. It’s a double-edged sword, remembering that little girl from those pictures and then realizing that she’s thirteen years old now, and that little kid is gone forever, and that I missed half of her childhood. Self-pity is not something I wish to engage in a regular basis, for obvious reasons, but today I’ll go ahead and feel sorry for myself. And for her that little girl lost, of course.

Tony, for some reason, 9/11 has been my own personal unlucky day as well. In 2005 I fell off my motorbike on that date, and spent two weeks in hospital with broken jaw and edema on the brain.. is one example! In maybe 2007 or 08, I was getting ready to leave for work in the morning when my “wife” said to me at the door, in front of my elder daughter: “Oh good, it’s Sept 11th today, let’s hope you have a bad accident while you cycle to work.” Selene, when she heard this, cried, her beautiful eyes filled with tears and she wept: “I don’t want Daddy to die!” I picked her up and smothered her in kisses: “Of course Daddy’s not going to die Sweetheart!” — then I left for work, as usual, my daughters were in the hands of someone who is, I am certain, mentally ill and in need of treatment. Two years later, she still has my daughters under her complete control, and they are trained not to speak or even look at their Daddy, or to care whether he lives or dies.

Wow! What a story. Why does it not occur to these women that they are damaging their kids for life with such stupid comments and reckless actions? This is child abuse, Alex. There's no sugar coating it.

You wrote beautifully, Tony. You will take pictures of Lili again……maybe later, rather than sooner……its a difficult day for you, I know. I am so very sorry. I suspect the grandmother is influencing Lili’s mother. So unkind and so unfair to both you and to Lili…..I gather there is no change in the Japanese gov. on this issue…..? Is the American Embassy doing all possible? Someday, when we meet in person, I’ll tell you my story…….

Thanks for the kind words, Marcia. I hold out hope at all times. It hasn’t been a legal or diplomatic matter for a long time now. It’s a matter of the heart, and the heart will sort things out, I reckon.