Same-sex unions divide faithful

Pastors struggle to reconcile law with Scripture

Karen Quincy Loberg / Star staff
The Rev. Brian Elster, of Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer in Oxnard, says God is calling on him to preside over the wedding of two men.

In a fight where Scripture is often used against gay marriage, the Rev. Brian Elster says God is calling on him to preside over the wedding of two men.

Later this summer, the pastor of the Lutheran Church of Our Redeemer in Oxnard will officiate at the wedding of church members who have been together for more than 20 years. He's not having second thoughts about a ceremony that will be held outside the church, but he is feeling repercussions.

A pastor from a Foursquare church sent him a letter filled with biblical citations and asked him to reconsider. Elster's denomination, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, is one of many mainstream faith organizations struggling with gay marriage. One family may leave Elster's congregation because of the pending ceremony, though the pastor was given permission by his church council and an area bishop.

"I'm going out on a limb. There are people who firmly disagree with what I'm going to do," said Elster, arguing the Bible forbids sexual exploitation, abuse and promiscuity for people regardless of their sexual orientation. "When it comes to two people who say they want to enter into a covenant of faithful commitment to each other, what should we do but stand up and applaud."

And though the debate could split congregations, the May court decision overturning California's ban on gay marriage means it's heading for pulpits of congregations caught in a tug-of-war between Scriptural teachings and civil rights.

"Those pastors," Elster predicted, "are going to be asked a question they've never been asked before."

For some the answer is easy. Leaders of some Unitarian Universalist and United Church of Christ congregations are publicizing their availability to perform same-sex weddings. More than 30 people from liberal churches showed up at the Ventura County Clerk and Recorder's Office on the first day same-sex marriages were offered to sing hymns of support to couples and offer small bottles of champagne.

Performing wedding 'unbiblical'

On the other side, many Baptists, Catholics, Mormons and evangelicals are denouncing gay marriage, with some groups urging members to vote for a proposed constitutional amendment in November that would again ban such marriages. They believe their stance against gay marriage has been wrongly presented as a fight driven by anger and exclusion rather than faith teachings.

Chances seem remote that clergy clearly opposed to same-sex marriage would be asked to perform a ceremony, but they know how they would answer.

"I'd have trouble justifying it in Scripture," said the Rev. Larry Wolf, the administrative pastor of New Life Community Church in Oxnard. He tried to dissuade Elster in a letter citing Genesis, Matthew, Mark, Leviticus, Second Timothy and Romans.

"By performing a marriage, you would actually be endorsing that lifestyle, which is unbiblical," Wolf said.

But Episcopalians, Methodists, Conservative Judaism and other religious families in between the two poles struggle for a foothold on gay marriage.

The California Supreme Court's ruling affects only civil proceedings and doesn't compel faith leaders to perform a ceremony. But it will put then on the spot, said John Evans, a UC San Diego sociologist who studies religion, culture and politics.

"It's going to essentially force many people who have been trying to avoid the issue to face it," he said. "As gay marriage becomes more normal for people in California, some couple in your congregation is going to say, My gay son is going to get married in City Hall and I want him to get married in the church he grew up in.'"

The Episcopal Church, which watched congregations secede over the ordination of a gay bishop, has no liturgy that allows for gay marriage. Southern California Bishop Jon Bruno has told priests the pastoral actions they take are between them and their congregations. That's why at least one rector in Ventura County says he would perform gay marriages immediately. Others, including the Very Rev. Jerome Kahler of St. Paul's Episcopal Church of Ventura, are more cautious.

"I think there are those who would accept wiggle room as wiggle room, and they'll move in a direction that their conscience approves," Kahler said, noting he would have to know the couple and discuss the issue with church leaders before making any decision.

The Orthodox Jewish movement is opposed to gay marriage, and the Reform Judaism movement supports it, according to the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life. Conservative Judaism is in the middle, with its leadership not officially sanctifying gay marriage but allowing rabbis to perform same-sex blessings.

Rabbi Richard Spiegel of Temple Etz Chaim in Thousand Oaks acknowledged that the idea of presiding over a gay marriage is "foreign to me." But if asked, he would probably say yes because of the California Supreme Court ruling and his own movement's changed stance.

"I have to learn to move a little," he said. "I think most of my members would find this perplexing, but they would go along with it."

A reflection of the community

Elster, the 54-year-old pastor of a congregation of about 100 Lutherans, has been asked so often by outsiders and church members about the decision, he acknowledges feeling defensive. Knowing he would be asked by two of his congregants to perform their marriage, he asked for the approval of higher-ups. He said Bishop Dean W. Nelson gave his OK as long as Elster's own congregational leaders also approved it.

That council met twice and voted to sanction Elster's involvement in the wedding. It wasn't unanimous.

"What it says is that there is a division in opinion in the congregation that reflects the division of opinion in the community," said Elster in an office decorated with pictures of Jesus, a Doonesbury cartoon and a sign that reads "Life Is Nifty After Fifty."

He said his role as a pastor is to recognize God's presence in people's lives. And if that presence is nurtured by the union of two people, it's his job to bless that union.

"No minister marries anyone," he said. "Marriage is something that happens between two people."

Clergy could divest themselves of the civil side of marriage by no longer signing marriage licenses. Marc Handley Andrus, a Bay Area Episcopal bishop, is urging people to have secular weddings and then come to the church for blessing ceremonies that are purely religious and have no bearing on legal standing.

The strategy means some people would have to plan two ceremonies, said the Rev. Jan Christian of the Unitarian Universalist Church in Ventura. But it would bring a clarified divide between a person's right to equal treatment by the government and a faith group's right to make its own decisions about how its teachings relate to the union of two people.