Sunday, February 26, 2012

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." CarnivalThis post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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A few weeks ago, on the Natural Parents Network facebook page, there was a big kerfuffle about how you "CANNOT be a Natural Parent AND vaccinate". Which led those of us who think too much about these things to say "hey! We need to do a whole bunch of posts where we all confess the things that stray from the Natural Parent Ideal."

Apparently, a few people had an actual list of regulations pertaining to Natural Parentness, They included (but were not limited to): babywearing, co-sleeping, exclusive breastfeeding for at least a year, extended breastfeeding in addition to eating ONLY organic food until the child decides it's time to stop nursing without any coaching from you or your partner, not a single vaccine (obviously), not circumcising, no antibiotics, make all of your own cleaning products and clothing (with fabric you wove from fibers you either grew or sheared off the sheep you treat better than most people treat their children, obviously), no harmful chemicals, no exposure to sunlight, and certainly NO TV.

Well, Natural Parents, to that list I give a big ol' pffffbbbbbtttthhhhhhhh. Because SWEET MOTHER OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN no one living in the 21st century adheres completely to that list, not all of the time and not while remaining sane.

Now, I could spend my time filling this space with a huge defense of how I AM A NATURAL PARENT, dammit, and we could all get riled up and have a big debate but who has the energy? So instead, without (much) explanation or defense, without any hope for keeping my "crunchy hippie mom" crown, I give you a list of the ways I have failed* at being a Natural Parent.

* "failure", in this case, should be taken to mean: "If this is wrong I don't want to be right" and "the only right way to raise your kids is the way that works for your family."

So here we go:

#1: I cuss. A lot. (Sorry Mom, blame Dad.) This video is NSFW. Or people who don't like swear words. Do I cuss in front of my kid? Only if I slip and then I try to cap it at the initial sounds, you know like "shhhhhhh" when I stub my toe. Mostly I say things like "Sweet mother of abraham lincoln!" and "son of a nutcracker!" But in daily life, out of the range of preschool ears? I have no filter.

#2 (no picture) We vaccinated. Almost fully and fairly close to the WHO schedule.

#3: Sometimes, you have to break out the big guns. (He needed to be in the picture, how can you say no to that face? Well, I know how, and I do - easily - but I pick my battles.)

#4: from top to bottom: Record player, Wii (and games, and PS3 games. And the Big Lebowski anniversary edition in a bowling ball.) Analog equalizer that we will have until it becomes unrepairable. Kids movies (some of them are Signing Time, some of them are *gasp!* Disney.) PS3, home to more games, netflix, and hulu+. Also, coasters. Yes, I use old (washed, people) breast pads for coasters. They're the perfect size and absorbency.

#5: Mexican Coke. We all have our vices. This is mine.

There are more, but these are the ones that stick out.

I'm going to leave you with some words of wisdom from someone who isn't me.

***This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 26 with all the carnival links.)

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This carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

My kid is a technophile — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction hasn't turned in her natural parenting card yet, even though her son prefers electronic toys

Why we aren't rear facing — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about her decision to turn her one-year-old daughter's carseat around, and how the argument always given for extended rear facing makes her feel.

Minus Ten Crunchy Points — Joella at Fine and Fair discusses how some of her parenting choices seen as "too crunchy" by those she knows in real life could get her kicked out of the crunchy mom clubs online.

The Natural Parent "Model" — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about her love for not-so-natural cosmetics and beauty products.

Nice to meet you. — Eileen at Love & Greens talks about how being a natural mama means something different to her every day.

I’m a natural parent…BUT… — Ashley at Daisy Pedals touches on several natural parenting topics; from cloth diapers to cleaning with natural cleaners.

Natural Parenting as a Doorway to Deep Truths — Amy from Peace for Parents guest posts at Natural Parents Network and shares how for her "natural parenting" is much less about a definition and much more an avenue to explore truths of life.

Chicken No-nos — Jessica at Pace Family Place strives to live naturally but feeds her oldest son some not-so natural things