<@PrincessLeia2> hmm, see the problem with computer packrat'ism is i tend to keep all my computer documentation together, no matter what it is, so it comes to be 2003 and i find Myst install directions with my computer stuff
<@PrincessLeia2> yay for windows 3.1

<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc
<MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james
<doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P
<MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines its not shock
<doggie^> rofl
<MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom matrix
<MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible
<MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass
<MS^Zealot> etc

<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n films to wank over
<riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.

<JosephSpiros> just got Cable Modem
<JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane
<JosephSpiros> OMG
<JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS
<JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME
<JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE
<JosephSpiros> :D:D:D
<RangerRick> haha
<RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE!
<JosephSpiros> I KNOW!

[@|Asriel] I just got a crazy telemarket call
[@|Asriel] an autoglass repair shop, asking if we had any damaged auto glass we'd like a free quote on
[@|Asriel] I wondered if that was a variant on "is your refrigerator running"
[@|Asriel] if I had broken glass, I'd do something about it
[@Mono] lol
[@|Asriel] not sit around hoping someone will call me up
[@|Asriel] 911 doesnt call you up randomly "We were wondering if anybody happens to be dying, traped, giving birth, or breaking into your home at the moment"
[@|Asriel] "I'm so glad you called, there's a guy holding a gun to my face"
[@Mono] rofl

<tragic> i would seriously pay money, like... movie ticket prices (per incident), if there was a device that allowed people to teleport from one place to another during irc conversations. it would be all like
<tragic> <aZnb0i002> MAN FuK U ILL CUM 2 UR hUouSE and RaPE ur MOM biTCH ill FUCK you uP!
<tragic> <john> oh seriously? *warp*
<tragic> <john> hi
<tragic> <aZnb0i002> oh, hello there sir. i think you were talking to my brother a minute ago. however, he left me to give you his sincerest apologies and sends word that he hopes your mother is doing exceptionally well today

<Spacer> just heard a funny story from my mom just now
<Spacer> she works as a teacher
<Spacer> and in one of her classes, it started to smell like dog poo
<Spacer> so she made everyone check their shoes, but they were all clean
<Spacer> so she went to the head of year
<Spacer> and got her to check everyones shoes
<Spacer> but they were all clean still
<Spacer> the smell was coming from the radiator area, so she asked the caretaker to check it out
<Spacer> while he was doing that, she sent everyone outside
<Spacer> but it still smelt in the corridor
<Spacer> and she traced the smell to some girl
<Spacer> and she checked her shoes, but they were clean
<Spacer> she goes "you smell a little whiffy today, go to the toilets and check yourself out"
<Spacer> so she walks off
<Spacer> and the smell goes
<Spacer> when she gets back, she goes to my mom
<Spacer> with a big smile on her face, and says "sorry miss, i poo'd my panties"
<Spacer> this is a year 11 girl, like 17 years old :P

Dr SpaZZo: LOLOOLL in the locker room at school
Dr SpaZZo: Theres this fat, mentally retarded kid who always asks us for pennies
Dr SpaZZo: and someone today gave him a quarter
Dr SpaZZo: so he started asking for quarters
Dr SpaZZo: On Monday someone's going to bring in a 500 dollar monopoly bill, and maybe some houses

<etoilet> i went into the D&D store cuz they had old capcom arcade booths for sale, and my girlfriend followed me in. All the guys were sitting at a table playing D&D, and this one long haired dude got up out of his seat, strode up to my gf, bowed and said "May I help you my lady?"
<crunchyfish> I don't know, man. That's pretty smooth. What was his charisma? 17? 18?

<Meyowith> 875 sparks one piston does
<Meyowith> on a v8
<Meyowith> doing 7000rpms
<CrazySpence> pfft
<CrazySpence> my hard drive does more RPM than that
<CrazySpence> lol
<Meyowith> but how much torque does your harddrive have
<Meyowith> :P
<nataku> more than a HONDA
<Meyowith> HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAAHHA

<filefly> and she asked me "should i be worried?" i said "no, you wanna know what i think?"
<filefly> so i told her
<filefly> "...and the prospect of finding her perfect educational institution threatens to overwhelm her tiny brain"
<filefly> which normally would've made her laugh
<filefly> had i not left the letters "i" and "n" off of "brain"
* filefly bashes head on desk repeatedly

<Espresso> you should wipe it down with some alcohol and shit just to be safe
<nas> you should give the same advice to your roommate when he gets back
<Espresso> naw, i was careful to stay on my side
<nas> of the bed?

<DigiBree> my uncle once took a huge length of dental floss and i asked him what he was doin with it...and he said he was going to floss between his bum cheeks......then he went into the bathroom :/
<Rake> lol thats just fucked :P

<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril Lavigne CD?
<power> dammit
<power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating
<bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail the seven seas?

<timmo> i remember when my art teacher the first day of class
<timmo> first day of highschool
<timmo> made us write a a one page essay
<timmo> on
<timmo> "WHY PORN IS NOT ART"
<timmo> i think thats what set the mood for me hating him for the rest of my highschool career
<timmo> so i wrote one on why i thought porn was art
<timmo> and got 0 for it
<timmo> i shrugged it off though
<arse-poet> so why was porn art
<arse-poet> according to your essay
<timmo> i dont know
<timmo> i think it had something to do with airbrushing
<arse-poet> lol
<timmo> i cant really remember
<jestuh> lol

<egg> I said I was back with Cake. I never said there was enough for everyoone
<Diet_Crack> IM ETHIOPIAN.. POOR, HUNGRY, NOW GIVE ME CAKE
<kooshy> didn't napster teach you anything about sharing?
<egg> Yes.
<egg> Don't.

<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<lasombra> tumult ?
<tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<tumult> he says bullshit
<tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<tumult> sits back down
<tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<tumult> from my lip
<tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<zyko^> what did she do?
<tumult> punched me in the face

<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D with your geeky friends.

<Nimduin> Holy fucking shit.
<Nimduin> http://www.mclaren4sale.com/main.html
<Match> Bet you could get that girl you're always talking about in that car.
<sede> Yeah, the bitch couldn't dodge me in that sweet ride, I'd wear her like a hood ornament