xkcd

xkcd is a webcomic created by Randall Munroe, a former contractor for NASA. He describes it as "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language." Munroe states there is no particular meaning to the name and it is simply a "treasured and carefully-guarded point in the space of four-character strings."

Hat Man: Dear Sony, Microsoft, the MPAA, the RIAA, and Apple: Let's make a deal. You stop trying to tell me where, when and how I play my movies and music, and I won't crush your homes under my inexorably advancing wall of ice.

Narrator: Related to moral relativism, it states that ethics become subjective only when you approach the speed of light. That is, it's okay to be self-serving, steal, and murder as long as you're going really, really fast. (Note: This is why rap sounds better on the highway at 90 MPH)

Man: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. We lived trapped in loops, reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us.

Man: And no, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing: the solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of some day easing my fit into a mold. It doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up.

Man: This is very important, so I want to say it as clearly as I can: FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Alter-Self: Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they're doing. Do things without always knowing how they'll turn out.

Self: Why tell me this?

Alter-Self: You're curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you're waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go.

Narrator: [in the dark; clock reads 4:31] Lying awake at night. I realize how many little lights there are in my room. The alarm clock is the brightest. [clock now reads 4:32] Can't sleep. I'm alone with these glowing red numbers. Time slows. Does time even exist here? [clock now reads 4:33] Thoughts churning in on themselves. The madness can't be far away. [clock now reads 13:72] Ah, yes. There it is.

Alt Text: Crap, I have levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to "cinnamon".

Narrator: Thinking of buying from Audible.com or iTunes? Remember, if you pirate something, it's yours for life. You can take it anywhere, and it will always work.

Narrator: But if you buy DRM-locked media, and you ever switch operating systems or new technology comes along, your collection could be lost. And if you try to keep it, you'll be a criminal (DMCA 1201).

Narrator: So remember, if you want a collection you can count on, pirate it. Hey, you'll be a criminal either way.

Hat Man: In a week, I will be donating $1,000,000 to a recipient determined by the word count of the Wikipedia article about this event. If it's even, the money goes to pro-choice activists. If it's odd, pro-life.

Man 1: [going through the contents of a bookshelf] All your books are full of blank pages.

Man 2: Not true. That one has some ink on page 78.

Man 1: A smudge.Man 2: So?

Man 1: There are no words. You're not reading. There's no story there.

Man 2: Maybe not for you. When I look at those books, I think about all kinds of stories. Reading is about more than what's on the page. Holding a book prompts my mind to enrich itself. Frankly, I suspect the book isn't even necessary. The whole industry is evil. Greedy publishers and rich authors try to convince us our brains need their words. But I refuse to be a sucker.