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Let The Zombie Apocalypse Begin

I am a big Walking Dead fan. I love the comic and the IFC series. When it was announced that the comic was going to be made into a TV series I told everyone to keep an eye out for it because it was going to be awesome. Here’s my previous post in case you missed it: http://worldfullofidiots.com/dead-on/

Imagine my delight when I hear the news with the headline of “Naked Man Eats Man’s Face”!

The Zombie Apocalypse has begun!

Apparently Rudy Eugene, a 31 year-old Florida man, was chowing down on another naked man’s face on the MacArthur Causeway on Monday. What’s fucking crazier? The cannibalism or the fact that they were both naked? Holy batshit craziness!

A Miami police officer showed up, ordered Rudy to get off his victim, Rudy growled at him so he shot him. He continued to chew on the guy’s face so the officer shot him dead. (A head shot I presume)

So this guy was high on bath salts. I guess this is the new thing in cheap drugs. I’d have to say that if the ensuing high from bath salts results in chewing people faces off I won’t be trying it any time soon. Drugs are bad.

In an unrelated story, a 43 year-old New Jersey man cut out his entrails and threw them at police officers this week.

Police received a call from a neighbor that told them that Wayne Carter was threatening to harm himself with a knife. When they arrived he was crouched in a corner. They told him to put his knife down. He ignored them and started to stab himself in his neck, abdomen and legs. He then proceeded to throw bits of skin and his intestines at the cops. The cops said “fuck this” and called in the SWAT Team. That’s not a direct quote but I would bet money that one of them said it.

The authorities are blaming drugs or mental illness.

So, my advice, folks, would be to buy some fucking ammunition, gasoline, bottled water and canned goods.

It has begun.

On second thought, get a samurai sword instead of a gun. It won’t draw as much attention from the “walkers”.