Edgy

These weeks of my pregnancy are so very anxious. As Binky kicks and lets me know all day that she is there, the reality that a little person is inside me is constant. But with that, comes the fear. She is a living person in there right now…one that, if anything were to happen, wouldn’t have a chance at surviving outside of my body. So I am counting down the weeks until viability. I think the parents of a preemie will always do this. Twenty four weeks, the edge of viability, will be another day where I start to breathe a little bit easier.

At my appointment with Dr. Risky last week she told me to start taking Unisom before I went to bed. It’s a sleep aid (which I definitely need), but it’s also a nausea aid. I was skeptical, but it has really worked for me. Not so much as a sleep aid, but it’s allowed me to wake up NOT feeling nauseous about three-fourths of the time. This is a drastic change for me – if I can stay ahead of the nausea with my Zofran, I have days where I actually have a bit of an appetite.

So, I had higher hopes for Tuesday’s weigh-in at Dr. Risky’s office. I got on the scale after a solid (for me) week of pigging out (Mike says my “pigging out” is still eating like a bird) with a lot less vomiting…and I’d gained half a pound. I was pleased with this amount. I’m still below my pre-pregnancy weight, but at this rate I could be past it by the time Binky is born. Seriously…this is what I say to comfort myself.

The rest of my exam was fairly routine until Dr. Risky asked about my contractions. I told her that I’m getting about one to four contractions a day, with no pattern or consistency or pain. I almost wouldn’t notice them if I didn’t spend the majority of my days sedentary. But this didn’t please Dr. Risky. She said that I am only feeling one to four of them, but that I could be having more that I’m not aware of. In her words she, “really really REALLY doesn’t want me to have any contractions at all.” She started ticking off her reasons – my water broke at nineteen weeks with Maddie, I have a classical c-section scar, I am on blood thinners, etc. Hell, I don’t want any contractions either, but I figured Braxton Hicks were OK.

Dr. Risky thinks I may have an irritable uterus, and decided to prescribe me a tocolytic agent to try to stop my contractions. Having done some reading up on it, there are some potential side effects associated with long term use. I could potentially be on this drug for as long as ten more weeks. I am weighing the pros and cons of taking vs not taking the drug (indocin), so if anyone out there has taken it for this sort of thing, please let me know. I really do trust Dr. Risky, but it’s hard to know what to do in a situation like this.

Superkitty says:

I’m not sure where you’re at in your pregnancy but I had to be given anti-contraction shots a few times which didn’t affect the baby at all. Gave me anxiety attacks, but since I knew they were caused by the shots it made them slightly more bearable. If you’re worried about long term risk, contact Motherrisk and get m ore information. I had to call them at 28 weeks because I needed category C meds to get through the pregnancy sane and whole, and they were so, so helpful.

Damn. I had no realization, while it was happening, how easy my pregnancy was. I am no help at all; my jaw dropped when I read that that few BH per day would be a cause for concern for you; I had BH at least that much, often as much as once an hour, and spiking, at times, to several times per hour, and although I kept in touch with my doc about it, they only got concerned once (when it was fatigue and dehydration) and made me stay off my feet (not even technically bed rest) for 2 days.

I’m sorry that I’m no help at all. I doubt this comment is even encouraging, but since I wrote it I guess I’ll leave it in here. I guess I’m glad that I didn’t know, while I was pregnant, what you were going through, or I’d have felt guilty as hell. (I still do, really, although a month into the actual baby, the remembrance/awareness of pregnancy stuff is already starting to fade.)

Sigh. It’s late and I just need to shut up and go to bed. But I wanted to comment here because you’re one of my favorite people. Sorry my comment is dumb. If you take something away from this, let it be the part about the favorite person-ness. *hug*

Seriously, I just re-read my comment and I am an ass. I don’t know why I even posted it.

As I sort through the stupid things I just wrote, I realized what I was really trying to say was that I’m horrified at how rough this is for you; these posts are an eye opener for me, and I wish it didn’t work like that for you.

That, AND that you’re one of my favorite people. I’m so SO eager for you to get your payoff for all this misery. More hugs.

Cinthia says:

What *I* took from your post was that you had BH and in the end it didn’t negatively affect your pregnancy, and I am sure you hope that it’s the same for Heather.

Don’t be hard on yourself, I think we all have this mutual feeling of hoping and wishing and praying for this pregnancy to go as well as possible for Heather and Mike and for the blessings to pour down on their family.

I applaud Cinthia for reaching out this poster. That was very nice to let her know not to be hard on herself. I think we all come here to Heather’s site for the same reason. We love her and her family and Maddie and binkie and just want the best for them. We’re all human trying to do the right thing and reach out to people.

Yes – those are exactly it! and thanks guys for being so sweet to me (sorry for the threadjack). and yes I was reeeeally sleep deprived when I was writing before, but you got it, thankfully:

I just hope that it turns out to be “much ado about nothing” as it was in my case.
And woohoo, there’s a baby in there! Awesome reward for all your anxiety. It feels like a million more years of misery, but it goes quick. Love you.

Tracy (@redvu9395) says:

Ann says:

I am a former NICU nurse of 6 years and currently work with hospitalized high risk antepartum patients (with about 6 yrs of experience). We see this drug used regularly. If you feel uneasy, ask Dr. Risky why she chose this particular drug. Procardia and Brethine are common drugs also used for pre-term labor and contractions. In my experience we usually see those 2 drugs used before Indocin. However, different docs use different drugs based on their personal experiences. So I’m sure Dr. Risky will be able to give you a good explanation for her choice! I’m sure you know this but drink as much fluid as you can stand to drink. It does wonders for calming an irritable uterus:) I am a stranger but I pray for you and your family every day.

I was going to say the same thing (but I’m an English teacher, not a nurse). Ask Dr. Risky about, and I’m sure she will be able to either give you her reasons or listen to your concerns and consider other options.

I had anxiety about hitting that 24 week mark also, even though I didn’t have a “real” reason. We will all count the days with you and celebrate as you and Binky get closer and then pass that 24 week mark!
.-= Laurie´s last blog ..Wearing the Baby =-.

I’m not help because Ive never even heard of this medication. I just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you guys and my thoughts are with you guys!
.-= pamela´s last blog ..A Precious Angel. =-.

Hmmm, I wish I could say don’t worry, having had high risk pregnancies that would be insane to say and insensitive. I will tell you that with my last two pregnancies I took a different approach. For one, I listened to my doctors but I also kept in mind that they were taking the most conservative path. They were thinking of the worst outcome and how to avoid it. I was trying to plan (and hope) for the best possible outcome but not necessarily doing everything they suggested. Let me say, I have a fantastic relationship with my physicians and trust them, but I also had to do what was best for me even if it went against their most conservative advice. ( I always asked for less conservative approaches working towards the same outcome)
That being said, my experience with the medication you mentioned is that I decided not to take it. I know you were looking for people who had taken it, but I did want you to know that there may be a few of us out there who opted out who had irritable, contracting uteri (my uterus is also deformed and I had multiple csections and was at risk for rupture) My doctor was understanding, I took a middle of the road approach, and left the decision to take it at a later date. I never did. My last babies were born at 36 weeks (fairly uncomplicated) and 34 weeks (complicated but by the grace of God no NICU time)
Good luck with what ever decision you make. I think there is no right or wrong answer, only what you feel is right for you.
God Bless – Kim
.-= Kim @ Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Them Be Black Widows =-.

Juli says:

i work in a pharmacy and will look it up and drawn my pharmacist of all of her knowledge tomorrow for you. i hope it will help. as a side note if you have a rite aid near you just go in and ask them to print out info about it for you. we have the real up to the minute data

Juli says:

ok so looked it up and even made the pharmacist on duty take out the big books and look it up by hand. it is not reccommended unless the gain out weighs the risk. this is what the fda says but the fda puts that on every single drug out there. it did say that it was used in pregnancy. as everyone else has said ask dr. risky, ask if you there is something else to try, why she thinks this is the drug thats going to work the best. see if she talked with any of her collegues(sp?) about it.
i hope everything goes extremely well
~Juli

I never took indocin, but was on procardia for both of my pregnancies. With Adia, I took it from 29-36 weeks. With the twins, I only took it from 32-34 weeks. I hated all the side effects, (hot flashes, dizziness, headaches, dry mouth), but I have 3 healthy little girls thanks to it. I, too, have an irritable uterus. What I thought were just braxton hicks contractions with the twins, actually dilated me from 1-5cm in just a few hours. They were painless, just tight. I can understand your doctor’s fear. And I understand you counting down the days until “viability”. I was the same way with the twins. I was so worried about them being born too early and yet, after 2 weeks if hospital bedrest, were born just 2 days shy of 37 weeks.
.-= Crysi´s last blog ..Ack! =-.

rachel says:

I took nifedipine with both my pregnancies with very few side effects. With Baby #1 I took it from 28-34 weeks while on bedrest, combined w/ibuprofen, to stop preterm contractions. My water broke at 34 weeks right after I stopped the ibuprofen. With Baby #2, I took it from 32-36 weeks while on bedrest. I also had the 17P progesterone shots from 20-31 weeks with Baby #2. My kids are 6 and 3, both healthy and fine w/no complications, so I would recommend nifedipine if that’s an option.
I think they said nifedipine can lower your blood pressure (it’s a blood pressure drug, duh!) so you have to watch for dizziness, get up slowly. I always said, “I’m on BEDREST, of course I get up slowly!”

I have zero experience with the other meds, but I wanted to say that Unisom SAVED me in my last pregnancy. I was so, so, so sick all the time, and I had horrible insomnia due to a lot of stress (nothing like yours though!!!!). I was so hesitant and skeptical and put off using it until around where you are now. So glad I ended up taking it then! It was such a miracle to get to sleep at night and then wake up in the morning not vomiting out my guts several times over.

Erica says:

Hi Heather,
I’m afraid I have no advice to offer regarding the medication but I do know that you and the special Binky Bean are in very good hands with your Dr. Risky and that your Dr. Risky is doing all she can to look after you both. Your readers and supports are here with you holding your hand as we count down the days together. You are still the first person I think of when I wake in the mornings and I always think today Heather’s Binky Bean is a day older. I’m counting the days with you, lovely lady. We are strangers and yet you, Mike, your precious World Famous Maddie and your special Binky Bean have such a special place in my heart. I think of you all always. You are all such amazing and inspirational people. Heather, you are so strong and courageous, an inspiration to us all.
Sending you lots of love from afar
Erica in Luxembourg

I hope with you that are are at that viable day soon… I know you guys must be counting hours.
Thinking about you throughout the day! If thoughts could help, you sure would have one healthy heavy baby!
.-= catherine lucas´s last blog ..Nonasocks and trips home =-.

Hooray for gaining weight and not feeling so nauseous! The rest… well, I’m no help either, except that like lots of your readers, I’m here and thinking of you and sending virtual hugs and “be healthy – grow – stay put for several more weeks!” vibes to wee Binky. Best of luck with the tough decisions ahead.
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Nooooooo =-.

Krissa says:

I found this online and although I am pretty sure you’ve seen it, there is some info that is pretty interesting so I’m pasting this link on the chance you haven’t seen it. And I know Dr. Risky is
excellent, but if it were me, I’d want to
read everything I could for myself – and I know you’re the same way from reading your blog. Here’s hoping you can get off some of those meds
soon. But at least they are there when
you need them!http://www.pennmedicine.org/health_info/pregnancy/000198.htm

Fortunately, I didn’t have to take anything to stop BH contractions. I hope you’re able to get some good information that will help you make your decision.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Yet another family embarrassment. =-.

I had an irritable uterus with my second. Everything worked out fine in the end and I’m praying to whoever is up there that everything will turn out so much better than fine for you too! They didn’t give me any meds but had me on bed rest and a ridiculous amount of fluids. I also had biweekly ultrasounds to see if my cervix was changing due to the contractions. Maybe that’s something you could talk about with Dr. Risky? Are the contractions actually doing anything to your cervix? If not maybe they are harmless? Here’s to hoping!
.-= LovingDanger´s last blog ..Counting Sheep =-.

I am no help because all they did for me, and my twins were born at 29 weeks, was hang me upside down and give me magnesium sulfate! So didn’t get to experience any other drugs to stop or slow my contractions! It didn’t work obviously! I know what its like to be a preemie mom, and I understand what you’re feeling!

amy says:

i went into labor at 20 weeks with my twins and was hospitalized for the next 11 weeks with contractions…one agnozing week (week 21) was spent on the labor and delivery floor as we thought i may go at any minute…it was 4 years ago so most of it is a blur and was on many different meds to stop labor but indocin was really a miracle for me since it was what got me off l&d and back on to, oh my gosh I can;t even remember what the name of the floor was, anyway it worked for me (along with other meds) and my boys were delivered at 32weeks. Stay strong…you are amazing!

I did take it… I, too, had an irritable uterus and had contractions all day long every day.. my belly felt rock hard most of the time. The drug helped. My daughter was born a month prematurely without the drug 20 years ago , my son was born on time. No side effects, but it made me alot more comfortable, although it did not get RID of the contractions completely. It did work for me and my son stayed put until it was time to be born. They are now healthy teens.
.-= karen M.´s last blog ..I Love Cupcakes =-.

glad to hear the unisom is working. I hope you get all the answers you need concerning the new drug they want to give you.
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..The Post Where I Get Sappy & Sentimental =-.

MFA Mama says:

I had an OB tell me to take Ibuprofen (Indocin and Ibuprofen are kissing cousins) for PTL one time and tried a few doses of it…honestly I wasn’t comfortable with doing it longterm because of the potential heart ramifications but that kid has no heart issues. I think you just have to trust Dr. Risky…although you could always ask about using something else. I dunno how early they’ll use anything else though; my OB always refused to medicate PTL until viability.

Purita says:

First time commenter:
With my second daughter I too had contractions. My contractions with her started at 19 weeks! As time went on they got worse, I was at my Dr. Risky’s office twice a week! They would check me and there would be nothing. They put me on Procardia and that lasted all of one day! The side effects for me were so bad it was worse than the contractions. Then they opted for a broncial dilator – terbutaline. Neither of these two worked, then they brough up indomethacin. I too was concerned at the long term usage and opted not to take it. Obviously every situation is differet but I say ask Dr Risky why this one before trying others then ask to be monitored for contractions to see what is going on. If the contractions are not currently causing any dilation or harm then I say double your water intake(that seemed to help me) and monitor the uterus more often! If the contractions begin to cause you to dialate then revisit the option for labor slowing drugs.
Again Dr Risky may have chosen “indo” as it does not interact with other meds you are taking.
When I had my little one at 36 wks via c-section I was still completly closed and 0% efaced but having contractions every 4 minutes!
I wish you the best of luck and trust your gut — taking the medication is obviously not off the table but you question it and that should be a sign of wanting/needing more explanation so you can feel comfortable with your decision.
Always in my thoughts and prayers,

christine says:

Sweetie, I think you should take the medicine. You trust Dr. Risky to take care of you and Binky and I’m sure she’s also weighed the risks. That being said, research and ask to your heart’s content. Calling teratology services like mamasafe ior the state’s can be immensely helpful. They have TONS of data about real life use. Best to you.

Shannon Kieta says:

Heather,
You are making me a nervous wreck! I want to tell you to go lay down and put your feet up and stay there until Feb 14th!!!!!!!! Can I do that???? Mike????? I don’t want you to over-do it. Maybe book a vacation to the Bahamas for a few weeks and lay on the beach, soak up some sun. Better yet, take a few deep breaths, lay back, have Mike rub your feet, try to relax! I will be praying for you, and Binky, Stay put girly! Orders from headquarters!!!!!! Auntie Shannon

I haven’t taken that med, but its a possibility for me here in the future. With my daughter I started BH contractions at like 14 weeks, but my last OB (who I am learning was a complete moron) said that was perfectly normal and not to worry. I have been reading up on BH recently and found a really interesting medical article that says BH contractions are actually a pre-cursor to preterm labor in some women (gee, I delivered 12 weeks early…hmmm). It gave easy at home ways to try to keep them at bay(I’ll look for it and then link it later). Anyway, my purpose was actually to tell you to look up ways to keep BH away possibly without meds, but if you need them, go ahead and take them. I know you will do whatever Binky needs to bake longer and be a healthy little girl. You’re an awesome mom (from what I’ve read :0) ).
.-= Lindsay´s last blog ..How Easy is it to Make Me Happy? =-.

I also took a tocolytic (terbutaline) for an extended period of time with my twins. I took it for 8 weeks (28 weeks to 36 weeks) and it was worth it to me. I was grumpy, irritable, and had hot flashes, but it helped me grow them to over 6 lbs each. Within 24 hours of going off terbutaline, I went into labor and one of my waters broke at 36w3d.

My boys are almost 3.5 and are completely healthy and “normal”. They exhibited only an expected one month developmental delay but were caught up by 18 months. They have never once been hospitalized with illness since birth, and I owe 99% of that to the combination of bed rest and terbutaline. There was absolutely nothing else that stopped my contractions. And once the contractions start, they are unlikely to stop.

I think one thing you will find is that medical intervention is much more likely in the multiples world since 50% of twins are born premature (even higher for higher order multiples). Since I was on bed rest, I joined a babycenter group for twin moms all due in June 2006. There were 15 of us and I was the 14th one to be put on terbutaline. So to me, tocolytics are commonplace bc the most important part is keeping the babies inside for as long as possible. Every day counts, as I know you know.

I don’t know if you read Julia at Here Be Hippogriffs (julia.typepad.com) (and you should, because she’s awesome), but she had something like 13 pregnancies & 11 miscarriages. She had a very high-risk pregnancy with her twins and ended up on bedrest with some sort of tocolytic in a port in her thigh for almost her entire third trimester. Her babies were both born healthy at 36 weeks (I think?). You could reach out to her, or just scour her archives – the twins were born in December 2007, if that helps as a frame of reference.

Mary says:

Having a world of information at our fingertips is a blessing and a curse, isn’t it? Maybe you could have another conversation with Dr. Risky as other commenters have said and tell her that you’re not feeling completely confident in taking this. She seems to be the kind of dr. from what you’ve said who will be good at talking you through it all and giving you other options if she feels there are others. All my best to you, Mike, Binky, and your families.

Rachel says:

Heather, I don’t know anything about this drug (and haven’t been pregnant, to boot, so there ya go) so can’t be of any help, but I am so so crossing my fingers and hoping and praying and sending the BEST vibes I can for you throughout all of this—

I’m still giggling at the irritable uterus. For some reason I think such a thing should be made into a Craftastrophe.
Or a cupcake.
Go with your gut.
I didn’t take any prenatals or eat nearly what I should have and I only lost weight, you know this.
But she turned out just fine.
Follow your gut. Even if it is contracting and irritable.
xo
.-= moosh in indy.´s last blog ..six months. =-.

I’m so glad to hear you are getting a bit of relief from the nausea and able to eat a little.

I don’t have any experience with those drugs, but I would recommend talking at length with Dr. Risky and a pharmacist. I always find that pharmacists are full of good info that doctors sometimes don’t tell us. You could also talk to Dr. Looove, I’m sure she would be straight with you.

Hey Heather – I was on a similar drug, “Brethine” as I had contractions very early on and had had a previous pregnancy with an incompetent cervix and contractions. I was on bedrest for 18 weeks and although the meds made me jumpy and irritable (a bit like caffeine) which I didn’t need, they did prevent the contractions from continuing and got me through the dangerous period. They didn’t harm the baby in any way that I knew of and he was born five weeks early, which was a miracle, considering the way I was headed. I hope that you can make an informed choice and do what you feel is right for you and your baby. I am thinking of you so much and hope that things continue to go well and that you can rest easy soon. I am glad that the Unisom is working – I too had the relentless nausea and didn’t gain any weight up till about 22 weeks and then it all balanced out. My son was 7 lbs at 35 weeks – so my weight gain really didn’t affect his growth at all. The baby will take what it needs first – it’s you who needs the nourishment.
Hang in there dear lady and you are being prayed for and supported all over the world. Maddie is looking out for Binky too, That said, I totally understand your fear, it is constant. I wish you some peace today and this week.
Love, Tricia
.-= Tricia (irishsamom)´s last blog ..Remembering 9/11 – Repost – 8 Years =-.

I was on tributaline (sp?) orally for about 3 weeks and then on a VERY high dose of magnesiuym sulfate (hospitalized via iv) for 7 1/2 weeks with occasional tributaline injections, in spite of all of this I delivered at 29 weeks 4 days (much better than 20 weeks when it all started). The only real side effect was that the tributaline made the boys bouncy and made my uterus more irritable. Once the boys were born the mag took a while to leave thier systems so they were pretty constipated and drowsy for a while. They are both perfectly healthy and right on target with the rest of thier peers.

Jenn says:

When I had my daughter I had a “irritable uterus” too. I was taken off of work when I was 20 weeks b/c I was 3 cm dilated by then. By the time my daughter was born, I was 6cm dilated and had been that for 4 days before she came. Your dr was right though about having contractions happening without you realizing it. That would constantly happen to me. I too was offered the drugs but, I personally chose NOT to use them mostly b/c my Dr wasn’t very passionate about me going on them. If he would have insisted, I would have gone on them. Instead I was put on home rest and then bed rest until she came.

. You do what you think it right for you and Binky Heather. I don’t want to sway you either way. My daughter was born at 38 weeks after 6 1/2 hrs of labour, Thankfully she was a healthy little girl and weighed the most out of all my babies at 6’15 and was 19 1/2 inches long.

Good luck with your decison. I can’t wait until the weeks pass and all of this is behind you. I as well as I’m sure you will be happy when that little baby girl is placed in your arms!

My pg was different from yours as you know, but I was at a point where I just did everything my doctors told me, and I took what they gave me. I remember being told to stop googling every medication they were going to give me bec it was just causing me to panic.Go with what your gut tells you, beacuse at the end of the day- a mother’s intuition is ALWAYS right.
.-= maya´s last blog ..Anatomy of a Fight =-.

Kate says:

I also took Terbutaline with my last two pg’s. My babies were both just fine, I had a great maternal fetal specialist and OB, they both told me the drug benefits well out weighed the risk, and they were so right. Good luck! Keeping you all in my prayers.

Alexandra says:

Hello, Heather~~ with all 3 of my pregnancies, I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus.

I was on Terbuterol from 17 wks, up to 35 wks (which is when I delivered), to stop the contractions. The meds, together with solid bedrest, and Lots of water, got me as far as I did go. I guess the drugs don’t work much beyond 34 wks, that’s what I was told. And I delivered at 35 wks, and had “take home” babies after only 5 days in NICU.

I am not far ahead of you at 24 weeks pregnant. Right now I am taking the progesterone shots once a week to help combat preterm labor (all my babies were a bit early) I like the progesterone because it is a hormone thats already present in our bodies, instead of adding a chemical like brethine or other tocolytic or BP med for preterm labor. I don’t think its too late for you to start the shots, they recommend btwn 16-21 weeks as long as there are no cervical changes already present. I give mine to myself on Tuesdays and I definitely notice by Sunday night and Monday I am having more contractions but they stop after the shot.

I am seeing a midwife outside of my regular OB practice who has also recommended I take something called “cramp bark tincture” on the days I notice contractions, it is a natural herb liquid that is supposed to ease cramping in the uterus. I figured it couldn’t hurt, and I will do whatever I need to so this baby inside until its really ready. I just ordered these and will start taking the drops this week. Of course since you are so high risk I would run this by Dr. Risky first.
.-= Lora´s last blog ..Because, you know, I had nothing better to do. =-.

Where is the lady who used “cock juggling thunder-cunt” for a previous vicious commenter??? Seriously applies here…

Heather and Mike you are beautiful people who share with the world your anguish and pain.. We all love you and are so excited for you guys!!! You are always in my prayers… and carrie take a long walk off a short pier..
.-= Jen Rew´s last blog ..What the hell is wrong with people. =-.

Lindsay from Florida says:

Carrie, I’m going to be the first to tell you what countless others behind me will no doubt tell you. You are the lowest and cruelest person for what you have just written. Only a few days ago, Heather spoke of her fear of sharing due dates with us because of f***ing ignorant and hateful people like you. HOW DARE YOU even begin to judge Heather for desiring to bring another beautiful child into this world??? If you have read ANY of this blog, you know how much she and Mike adored Madeline. They mourn her everyday, they feel grief for her everyday, and as much as I wish it weren’t so, that will be true as long as they live. That does NOT mean they will not be the most loving and spectacular parents to their new baby girl.

God, I am so enraged by people like you. You have NO right to judge, NO right to say what you have said here. Take your self-righteous a** away from this blog, and leave it to those who applaud and love Heather and Mike.

Claudia says:

Heather, you and Mike are so brave for continuing to expand your family, just as you had planned. I know you mentioned that Maddie adores babies and would be a very excited, very excellent big sister. This pregnancy isn’t a slight against her, if anything it’s a testament to how much you and Mike loved and devoted yourselves to parenthood despite the incredible trials you faced. Maddie wouldn’t be upset about your pregnancy, she’d be clapping her hands and crying “BABY!” with that joyful smile of hers. Maddie fought so hard to live, against all the odds. She would want you guys to fight on, too, to keep living, even though some days are shots and tubes and anger and tears. Please know you are surrounded by support and understanding.

Alexis says:

It’s a sad and pitiful person who needs SO MUCH attention that she just writes the ugliest thing she can. Your post doesn’t even make sense. I feel sorry for you. I wish someone in your life loved you as much as Heather and Mike love Maddie and Binky. Maybe then you would have had a shot at happiness. Please, though, just leave this blog alone. It’s about love and life, and all the beautiful pain that comes with that, and you’re just not capable of appreciating it.

Really Carrie??…didn’t your mom ever teach you “if you don’t have anything nice to say the get f*** off this blog”… What a horrible childhood you must of had to turn you into such horrible hateful person…I feel sorry for you

Heather –
Thanks for leaving this comment up this time..so we can all ATTACK!!

That is absolutely sickening, Carrie. I cannot BELIEVE you had the gall to come on here and write that. It’s absolutely Heather and Mike’s choice, and a choice that they made in the best interest of their family (including Maddie) and has NOTHING to do with you and you have absolutely no right to judge them…. ESPECIALLY if you’ve never lost a child. How completely inappropriate. I have the urge to tell you where to go or what to do, but none of them are very polite so I’m refraining. But I’m thinking them….hard.

Caitlin says:

Laura says:

I can NOT believe that someone would write something like this. What a f*cked up, evil bitch. I am beyond shocked that someone would ever think, or write, such hurtful, terrible things. No one can possibly understand what you two have been through, or judge anything you choose to do.

Heather, I hope that you will not listen to this bullsh@t for even one second. This b*tch is an ignorant @sshole who doesn’t know one thing!! I will kick her @ss if I ever find out who “Carrie” really is!!!!!!!!

Btw, you can’t possibly take anyone seriously who doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Guess she never made it past the 4th grade!! Her opinion means NOTHING!!!

Love you Maddie, Heather, Mike and Binky!!!! We all know how much you love and honor and adore BOTH of your daughters, and that you always, ALWAYS will. No matter what. No pregnancy now, or in ten years, will ever change that. F@ck Carrie, and anyone else like her. She is worthless!

Laura says:

OMG! I am about to go ape shit!! Seriously, I am trembling and shaking from the rage that is in me right now.

Carrie (aka, stupid bitch), you are the lowest form of human being there is. Seriously. You obviously are devoid of a soul or compassion. How dare you even utter Maddie’s name. You aren’t worthy to know this family or speak of what they should or shouldn’t be doing. If you really want to attack someone, then please, go to my blog and let loose. But DO NOT come back here. And don’t be a coward and post ‘anonymously’. Let us know who you are so that we can go on your blog and give you a taste of the crap you are dishing out.

You’re a piece of crap!

Touche Laura….she is obviously not very bright!

I swear, DO NOT COME BACK HERE and DON’T EVER UTTER Maddie’s NAME AGAIN!
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Been Stuck =-.

eliza says:

Carrie-
You should not comment on blogs if you don’t follow them and haven’t read them. Obviously, you haven’t followed Heather and Mike’s journey at all or you wouldn’t have said what you did. Think twice before you ever comment on a blog again in this manner. I am assuming you are a very young girl to have said something of this nature so carelessly. I am sure if you take the time to learn about Heather and Mike and Maddie, you will understand why so many of us are very quick and visceral in our response to what you said. But if you aren’t inclined learn about them or even if you do and you are inclined to say such a painful, unkind thing, then you should go elsewhere.

Isn’t there a way to banish trolls? Some sort of secret spell or something?
People like this are all about the drama. They need to have more attention than the author. So they say stupid crap to get attention.
Well, bay-bay, learn some tact, learn some couth, and for God’s Sake, spell check.

Heather, prayers abound. I took terbutaline. Indocin is good though…And I’m with Moosh, irritable uterus is a hilarious name which evokes quite the mental image!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..I may not be coherent… =-.

Brittany says:

I am disgusted by your comment, Carrie. If you have nothing positive to contribute to this website, then don’t come here. People like you aren’t wanted or needed. Take your cruel judgements somewhere else.

Carrie, you don’t have children do you!?! I am not going to bash you, cuss you or tell you how STUPID you are, I am going to pray for you. Pray that somewhere in that dark deep head of yours you seek help. That in your life time you never NEVER have the horrible feeling of loosing a child and that you NEVER have to make the decissions that Mike and Heather have had to.

Mike and Heather … I pray daily for you, I know in my hearts of hearts this is RIGHT! Maddie would have wanted a sister, she (Maddie) is still with you! Binky will be more loved than I can ever imagine and you will be WONDEFUL parents!

As for the meds … I would go with your Dr’s requests … I never had to take anything with my babies, but I do know that in picking my dr’s I said I would do WHATYEVER they told me to do! After all they are the Dr’s?! Good luck with your decission and please don’t listen to people like Carrie … may she get the help she needs and find peace in it soon!
.-= MBKimmy´s last blog ..Could we be 5?~ =-.

Rachel says:

Mary C says:

I think shit with rat poison. Carrie do you have a blog? I think a couple of us would really like to tell you how we feel about you there. Also there is a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The first agreement, be impeccable with your word. You should read it. Might help you out with your people skills. seeing here all the friends you just made you need all the help you can get!

Melissa says:

Carrie,
I had planned on writing something witty and mean to Carrie but the more I think about it….THE MORE PISSED OFF I AM AND CAN’T TYPE! All I can say is you’re an asshole, Carrie.
Mike and Heather, I love you guys and give you all the support in the world. It’s too bad that low life scum like this bitch have to come to this place of healing, sharing, and understanding and crap all over it.

Ann says:

Carrie,
Do you know anyone who has lost a child? Have you lost a child? If you read this blog on a regular basis you would know that this pregnancy was planned before Maddie was taken. AND if you have children and God forbid you lost one, how would you feel if someone as mean as yourself said something that hateful and insensitive? I am a person who constantly looks for the good in people. Girl, you are PURE evil. Stay away from these beautiful people and this blog!!

A very angry Mom and mourning sister says:

May someone you love be ripped from your life, only then will you realize what a rotten, insensitive, malcious piece of crap you have been.
You think this is a horrIble thing to say? It’s no more insensitve then you degrading the memory of a lost child and the miracle of a new child!

how much hate to you have inside to say such a shitty and pathetic thing to someone who is clearly kind and wonderful. are you trying to tear open her fresh wounds that will clearly never heal? do you derive joy from knowing that you most likely sent her into a tail spin with your hateful comment? what kind of person are you? hurtful. angry. most likely pathetic.

you want to spew your bullshit try it on someone who isn’t already kicked to the floor.
OH. AND I’M POPPING OUT A KID IN JUNE.
.-= Momma Uncensored´s last blog ..YES+ =-.

Reading the comments from everyone coming to your defense should be what you focus on, not the horribly insensitive comment Carrie decided was so necessary to share. I’ve seen this on other blogs – where someone chooses to attack and say hurtful things for no apparent reason. On Matt Logelin’s blog a commenter kept commenting on old posts of Maddies’ birth how beautiful Liz was and how lucky Maddie was to have her as a mom and wished the 3 of them luck – long after Liz’s death. So hurtful and cruel. I truly believe people like that are just trying to create drama as some sort of sick, demented joke.

I truly believe in my heart that this person was doing just that – trying to create drama, and didn’t have any thought of who you or Mike or Maddie are and really what you’ve been through. You’ve inspired many and given a face (Maddie’s beautiful face) to the world to bring attention to the March of Dimes. You’re using your tragedy to help others, and there’s nothing more beautiful or selfless than that.

Continue to make the decisions you and Mike know to be right for your family, and don’t be afraid to share them. Your newfound community of friends will support you and be there for you every step of the way.

Eileen says:

Wow. Just when you think you’ve seen a lot of cruel, thoughtless and ignorant behavior, a new contender comes charging in to take the jackass crown. Well done Carrie! You’re (note the proper use of the word AND the capitalization!) a piece of crap. Wait…I think pieces of crap would be insulted to be mentioned in the same breath as you. You are truly a class to yourself…and that’s not a good thing. At all.
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Detroit Puck City =-.

Tam. says:

Devon says:

I am so sorry that you and your family had to hear a horrible comment like that, but look on the bright side, all those people who have defended you and said the most wonderful things about your family. Makes you feel pretty good. There really are good people in the world. And besides, I know another couple who had a similar experience as yours and I think that if they hadn’t had another baby, they would have died. That baby saved them as I’m sure baby binky will help save you and your family. Lots of love.

Courtney says:

Are you even a mother? A mother would most certainly have compassion for another mother and the loss of their child. When I look at my own child, born only 2 days after Maddie, I am reminded how lucky I am and how sad it must be for others.

Why are you even reading this blog if it bothers you so much? Please don’t use ‘Freedom of Speech’ as your excuse for your comment because it should be exercised with tact.

Sharon says:

Courtney,
You put this so well! A mother would most certainly have compassion for another mother. When Maddie passed I cried for days. My daughters even cried for a child they never knew.
Heather,
I’m proud of how strong you are. I admire you so much. Remain strong. Sending hugs from Texas.

bsluka says:

I wonder what would possess what must be a perfect stranger (you couldn’t possibly be someone that knows or loves this family) to judge a person in such a cruel way. You must have a lot of hate in your heart to write such a comment, and I agree with the countless replies to your comments above. In a way, I feel sorry for you, but mostly, I wish I could delete your thoughts from this page before Heather or Mike had the chance to read what you wrote.

The internet is a huge place. No need for you to revisit this site; there are plenty of other people out there for you to judge and hurt who aren’t already in more pain than most of us will ever understand. I think the advice to go away should be heeded.

Melissa says:

well, i think it’s QUITE AN ASSUMPTION that this “thing” has even ever seen a cock much less tried to juggle the balls of a dirty, scabby, infested homeless fucker because, really, who would want to touch her c**t with the acidity content that could/would burn most losers dicks off from her truly buring in hell soul and canverous womb in which it has dried up to kibble and bits. you know for the ferral animals, so to speak.

oh, yes, I’ve got more in my arsenal for this major fucked up FUCK! (i’d say being – but that would be way too kind). I again am throwing the curse of the unholy ( and yes, I’m Catholic) that she’s consumed with all that is evil and she never has a moments rest in her miserable fucked up life.

NOW THIS, I WOULD SAY COULD BE HARSH. and I somehow doubt she could even respond as she has crack-head’s vocabulary and 2nd grade education. She’d never get the put down…..

Don’t mess with the horns baby because I’ll ram your ass with the bull like you are a fucking kids pinata.

Now, I must go to confession with all this hatred i feel for this senseless fuck.:)

I know I am a day late addressing Carrie but all I can say is WOW! After I miscarried with my second child (34 years ago) I got pregnant with my third child. I was far enough along to know it would have been a boy, and I still feel sad to think of him. My third child is a beautiful daughter who has blessed me with 5 amazing grandchildren. I had the courage to get pregnant again and thank God I did. Between my son and daughter, I have 7 grandchildren and I thank God every day for their good health, and happiness. I am sorry that you are so bitter but maybe it is you are just ill informed of all that Heather and Mike have gone through. I cannot believe that someone who has been following the journey with Heather and Mike could ever make such a heartless comment.

Megan says:

I’m shocked and honestly appalled that someone has the audacity to come say such rude, unfounded, insensitive things about someone! My guess is that Carrie, has NO idea what Mike and Heather have been through and are going through! Mike and Heather are AMAZING!

Carrie,
I work everyday with at-risk adolescents. I have been called horrible names and have had had to maintain my cool. You need to know that I am using that same skill now to keep myself from using the language I want to use.

Go somewhere else. Don’t come back to this blog. Don’t share in Heather’s story if you don’t have the decency to at the very least respect her decisions and understand that mourning is never over. Never.

Your comment was heartless, thoughtless, and cruel. Just go somewhere else. Not here.

Just a fan says:

You stumbled into the wrong place at, Carrie. If that’s your real name.

This is sacred ground. This loss…is sacred. The grief…sacred. The choices, the decisions, each flipping breath they take every day they live beyond the moment they lost their world is SACRED.

You’ve exhibited a serious defect in judgement posting here. If you can’t support, if you can’t empathize, if you can’t find it somewhere in your cold and dark soul to have a sliver of compassion for this couple, then I beg of you…don’t…ever…come back here.

Jenny says:

Angela says:

Didn’t you just lose Maddie? and your already pregnant again? did you even have enough time to mourn her loss? people just keep popping out babies and don’t think.

Heather, thank you for leaving this up. The other day when I read your post with tearfilled eyes of pride sharing your due date…..because it was a great stride for you to announce it, I thought WHO could say something negative and WHAT could they say?

I’m pretty sure, Carrie, that Heather didn’t Just lose Maddie. I bet she can tell you the exact months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds since she had to face something that no mother should have to face. I’m sure she can tell you how many times a day she wishes she could go back to the day before and make everything different…but she can’t. She has had to endure the worst thing possible. I’ve never met Heather, but she has made me a better mother. When my nearly 2 year old is testing the very limits of my sanity, I think that Heather would LOVE to have her sanity tested…puts it all in perspective.

Maybe you are referring to your own mother who popped out babies with out thinking about it…because she did a spectacular job raising such a know-it-all, rude and callous bitch. And with as horrible as what you said was, I hope you NEVER have to walk a day in Heathers shoes. I hope you never have to look at the live drain away from your child and feel the helplessness that you feel when that happens. I have been there and my story ended differently, my son was brought back however it is something that no one should have to see.

As far as the without thinking part of your ignorant rant, maybe you should realize what a struggle it was for Mike and Heather to conceive and gosh, without thinking….you moron….do you not think that every single day they know what the worst thing that can happen is and just how easily it can happen. I think the fact that they are giving Maddie a baby sister is one of the biggest acts of bravery I’ve ever witnesses and I think that Maddie would be so proud that they decided that they had enough love to share with another child, even if it scares the living shit out of them every day that it can all be taken away so I really think that they do think about it…..maybe you should take your advise to somewhere useful, not to a blog about a lady who is pulling herself above water every single day and living a life that not a single one of us wants to ever live.

Heather & Mike (and Bampa) We all love you and love Maddie and Love Binky!

PS. Yesterday my 6 year old colored a picture of Abbey Cadaby and I cried. I never held, kissed or touched your beautiful daughter, but she has forever touched my heart. And as a mother of two preemie sons, I thank you for your work!!!! ((((((((HUGS))))))

cindy says:

“irritible uterus” is just a funny term. I know it wasn’t a funny post, but if I had a doc tell me that I would wonder if she just made it up… it’s like telling someone with constant migraines they have an “irritible brain”.
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..break is over and the guilt is setting in… =-.

Chris says:

I’m praying every day that you get closer and closer to your due date and that Maddie is watching over her mommy, daddy, and baby sister.
I have no answers ofther than best of luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I don’t have any helpful med. advice, sorry.
But I wanted to thank you for this post. I know that sharing your struggles cannot be easy, and more all the time I realize that I do not understand what you are feeling. But Heather, even though I cannot feel this with you, it doesn’t change how much I feel FOR you.
{hugs}
SJ
.-= Sara Joy´s last blog ..Inspired =-.

M says:

Hi Heather. I’ve read your blog ever since Matt Logelin posted about Maddie, and I’ve since gone back and read all of your posts though Maddie’s birth and NICU stay and homecoming. I can’t imagine what you are going through, and I never wanted to comment because I thought that my words would be meaningless to you. I’ve never gone through what you have and I can’t imagine how you get out of bed everyday. I am thankful that you have Binky and hope that she gives your life a new purpose, even though she can never replace Maddie.

Anyway, I felt compelled to post today because I have an irritable uterus as well, and was on bedrest after going into labor prematurely at 29 weeks with my first. Luckily, they were able to stop my labor with Terbutaline injections, but even on bedrest, my contractions started up again. I was put on a home monitoring system where they monitored my contractions twice a day and I had weekly cervical ultrasounds to determine whether the contractions were progressing labor. Even on bedrest, I went back into labor and was put on Terbutaline for the duration at about 30 weeks. It did the trick, even though they made my heart race and had some nasty side effects for me, although the baby was unaffected. As soon as I stopped taking the drugs at 36 weeks, he was born. I’m 15 weeks pregnant with my 2nd now, and am already experiencing contractions, and am paranoid since it is so early, but the cervical ultrasounds have not shown any progression. Those ultrasounds really give you peace of mind, maybe talk to Dr. Risky about doing those sometimes instead of the traditional ones, as you still can check on the baby.

Dara says:

With my twin pregnancy I had an irritable uterus and went into labor at 20 weeks – I had been having BH contractions for weeks before that but didn’t know any better. My cervix was gone and I was dilated to 3cm. After a few days of Magnesium Sulfate and an emergency cerclage – I made it through 16 weeks of bed rest while hooked up to a terbutaline pump. The Indocin wasn’t an option for me due to allergies but the terb worked (despite annoying side effects). I got those babies to 36 weeks and 6lbs each thanks to those drugs. Everything was hard on my body – but so worth it because they stayed in as long as they did.

Erin says:

Just so you know its the blue unisom not the red….the red is just Benedryl but the blue combined with B6 is an old school yet effect antinausea medication….I know from experience! I also think Terbutalin as needed is a great way to go. Take it when you are contracting and don’t when you aren’t. At least thats what I did. I am a L&D nurse(and the best VP you ever had).

Melissa says:

I was given Terbutaline shots when I was in preterm labor in the hospital, and then was on the medication at home while on bedrest, every 4 hours (through the night too), until I reached 36 weeks gestation. Altogether I was on the medication for 4 weeks. That’s not as long as you would be on it, but I want you to know that I looked up side affects too and it freaked me out, but my doctor assured me that the side effects were rare. My son was born at 37 weeks and was perfectly healthy.

Julie B says:

I, too, had an “irritable uterus” while carrying my babies. Basically, my Dr. would check my cervix more frequently than your average “normal” pregnant women would get, and as long as things seemed ok cervix wise, there was no need for a med. Is there any way that Dr. Risky could do routine cervix checks instead of the med? I know it sounds like a very basic simple answer, but maybe? I also know that checking your cervix frequently could irritate it, so that might not be a viable answer to the problem of taking the med or not.

Best wishes to you. Your story has really touched my heart in a profound way. I’m sorry if I wasn’t a help, but I’m like you with the medication thing, and I wanted to let you know I’m with you with the irritable uterus! Thank god the rest of us isn’t irritable, right?
Julie B from MA

Julie B says:

Can you get a home contraction monitor? Several of the mothers in my multiples group were given one of these to avoid hospital bedrest. They put the device on at home and the results are transmitted to the hosptial. This way you would know if you are contracting when you shouldn’t be instead of speculating. I would not want to take those drugs unnecessarily, especially if I was nauseated like you are, but everyone I knew who went on the drugs didn’t feel any bad effects from them once they delivered/were taken off of them. Good luck.

MuseOddity says:

Heather, I had to take Lovenox injections during my pregnancy and for 10 weeks postpartum. I also took Indocin. I did, unfortunately, have severe nausea from the drug. My stomach became very irritable. I know this certainly does not happen to everyone. It is an older, very reliable drug. It has been well studied. I wouldn’t worry about it’s safety. I am praying it is kinder to your tummy since you are already struggling with nausea so much. I think you and your family are beautiful. I feel so touched by a group of people on the other side of the country that I’ve never even met! Maddie is gorgeous and will be the best big sis ever!! People who say unkind comments here must be so unhappy with their own life. I wish they could see you face-to-face. They would never say it to your face!! God bless you and yours:)

Gina says:

You and I actually have several friends in common- we were in the same year in College.:)
During my pregnancy, I was on bedrest for the first 8 weeks and the last 15. It was difficult, but nothing compared to what you have been thru carrying Maddie and Binky. I was on Progesterone for the first trimester. I went into pre-term labor @ 25 weeks and my Doctor put me on Procardia. He said it was milder than other drugs such as Tributaline, etc… I took it up until I delivered @ week 39. Even being on Procardia, I still had problems several times during my pregnancy with pre-term labor and prodomal labor- it worked in the sense that it kept my contractions to a minimum and kept me out of full blown labor… A couple of my Triage visits resulted in Tributaline shots to aid in stopping labor.
It sounds like what Dr.Risky is suggesting is stronger than the two drugs I took. Maybe she doesn’t want to, well,take any risks…
Debating whether to take a certain medication is never an easy task- especially when you are carrying precious cargo… Hang in there and know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many. Sending positive thoughts. -Gina

I was a freak during my pregnancy, for no reason other than I am just a freak! I can’t imagine what you are going through with just that alone. I wish I had some info to relay, but I don’t. I just want to send as much positive mojo your way as possible and let you know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you!
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..Things that make me go Hmmmm =-.

Trisha Vargas says:

I am worried after reading about this drug Heather. Quest Diagnostics warns about use with caution for mothers who have problems with blood clotting. They also mention more problematic side effects for the baby than for Mom, especially for the baby’s heart and kidneys. It mentions that this drug should only be used after other tocolytic medicines have not worked sucessfully. I think you should ask Dr. Risky as many questions as possible before making your decision and than go with your instinct. If you can take a mild dose of some sort of labor inhibitor and go on moderate bed rest, maybe that would be the answer, I don’t know. It just seems there is an extra dose of monitoring for Binky involved with this particualr medicine that would make me a little uneasy versus others, but that’s just me.

You & Mike will have to decide and we’ll be here to support you whatever way you go.

I don’t know if this has been mentioned or not and I feel silly bringing it up, but with your nausea and stuff are you hydrating well? I know that dehydration can cause contractions. I’m sure Dr. Risky has already ruled that out, but I wanted to mention it.
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Not the only one… =-.

Kimberly says:

Haven’t read the other comments, just my own comparatively mild experience to share….I took terbutaline with my first daughter starting at 24 weeks (contractions every 2 minutes, dilated and effaced). Was in the hospital on 24/7 monitoring for a while and it made baby’s heartrate race just as much as mine—there don’t seem to be any side effects to that, but it wasn’t fun for me and I’m sure not for her (much better than delivery at 24 weeks though). At 32 weeks my body stopped responding and I went into labor again, so I got put on a mag sulfate drip for 36 hours (which is the worst drug I’ve ever been on, my body didn’t handle it well). I went back on the terbutaline until 36 weeks and started contracting (and delivered) as soon as my last dose ran out. Was never diagnosed with any infections, all anyone could tell me was “irritable uterus”. With my 2nd daughter, I started contracting regularly (4-6 times an hour every hour, every day) at 13 weeks…like you mentioned, BH–I could feel them, but they didn’t hurt. I worked with a midwife this time around and was extremely skeptical, but took her advice to take magnesium and calcium supplements as well as an herbal thing called “Carry On”. I don’t take herbals for anything, I thought she was nuts, I only decided to give it a day or two since I wasn’t dilating. The magnesium and calcium greatly lessened the contractions and anytime I had more than 3 an hour, I took a dose of the Carry On and they stopped completely. I only took the Carry On about once or twice a week. Managed to make it to 39 weeks with no side effects from drugs. I’m a lactation consultant and work with micro-preemies……..if I was facing your set of circumstances, I’d probably take the drug. Maybe something more mild could buy you some time so you’re not on it so long though, or help out if that doesn’t stop the contractions completely. Big Hugs.

I’m sure you’re drowning in advice right now, but I just wanted you to know that you have my support, unwaveringly, and that every day I’m pulling for you.
.-= Lauren H.´s last blog ..Assume we’re ALWAYS grading on a curve =-.

I didn’t take anything long term with my pregnancies, I got those yucky shots though. I dilated to 4cm with my youngest at 32 weeks. I kept my booty in bed (where it grew bigger) and was blessed to keep him in the oven until exactly 38 weeks, the day I came off bedrest. My best friend works in L&D, I’ll go pick her brain and email you later!

I hope you are loving you mini trip. I hope I get to see you on the 29th!

Gosh, I wish you weren’t going through SO much! The mourning of Maddie is more than you can handle, adding the nausea, not sleeping well, being worried about the contractions…. bless your sweet little heart. You’re such a trooper! Hang in there, rest, and take it one day at a time. You’re amazing!!
.-= Queen of Quite-a-Lot´s last blog ..Three Years. =-.

Hi-
I used drugs to stop my contractions during two of my pregnancies, my children were still premature, but they helped carry me from 24 weeks to thirty weeks, so they were helpful for me, and I (or my kids) didn’t have any lasting side affects.
.-= mariah´s last blog ..To be honest, I suck at this parenting gig! =-.

Amy says:

Hi Heather, I just wanted to chime in and give you some support. When I was pregnant with my son, I had ‘braxton-hicks’ contractions frequently starting around 26 weeks (many per day, like 6 – 10/hour, with no regular pattern and no pain). They were worried that I was going into pre-term labor. They put me in the ante-natal ward for 3 days to monitor, and gave me a few drugs to stop the contractions. One was magnesium, the side effects of which were terrible. I’m not sure if they gave me the drug you are talking about too. After several days of monitoring, the contractions really did not stop, but they determined that I was not in pre-term labor. So they sent me home and told me to take it easy. I basically had these contractions on and off through the rest of the pregnancy. They too told me I had an ‘irritable’ uterus, meaning it would contract randomly without being real labor.

I just wanted to let you know there is someone else out there with an irritable uterus! I wish you the best of luck and I hope and pray your uterus isn’t going anywhere with these contractions! Lots of love, Amy

Michelle says:

I was put on Procardia at 31.5 weeks due to an irritable uterus and blood pressure that was slowly creeping up. I still had some contractions on it, but definitely not as many. I made it to 37 weeks before my uterus scoffed at the drugs and decided it was done holding a baby. When my contractions first started going crazy at 31.5 weeks, I was given 2 shots of Terbutaline. Holy shit, that drug makes a person shaky.

Michelle says:

Oh Carrie. You’re so dumb. Look, we get that you were picked on a lot on the playground as a kid, but maybe you should talk with someone to help you get over that.

Based on your logic, I’ve made a mental note that if anything were to ever happen to my child and she passes away, I’ll be sure to never have sex with my husband again. Who knew that losing a child meant that you couldn’t have any more! Thanks for the insight Carrie.

Caitlin says:

it in no way sounds like they’re trying to “replace” their daughter, and to say that is really offensive and hurtful. Let them live their lives free of your criticism. We’re not “kiss asses,” we’re people who mourn this family’s loss and wish them all the happiness in the world because they’re good people. If you can’t see that, you don’t belong here.

Alexis says:

Hi Attention seeker! We ALL know that the reason you wrote this was to get attention because no one is THAT evil really. OK, Maybe Hitler. And you are not Hitler-like, are you?
So go, shoo! you are not welcome in this loving space.
.-= maya´s last blog ..6 Months, 1 Day… =-.

Lindsay from Florida says:

Wow, are you kidding me? You had the temerity to leave ANOTHER comment? SMH. I really don’t have anything to say to this one. Before, I just thought you were cruel and attention-needy. But anyone who truly believes that a person (ANY person) is replaceable … is deeply sick. And I can’t reason with or even vent my anger at a sick person. Please seek the help you so obviously need.

Heather and Mike, I tried to verbalize this in my earlier response to Carrie, and I will try to do so again … what you are doing in having another child is beautiful and hopeful and precious. It celebrates Maddie (who would have adored a little sister) in the most phenomenal way that I can imagine. Don’t give another moment’s thought to depraved comments like Carrie’s.

We all love you and are pulling for you. We are all waiting, as Carrie says, to “see what happens with this baby.” The difference is, 99.99% of us are doing it with prayers and with love, and with wonderful anticipation at meeting your perfect second daughter. Maddie’s little sis, NEVER her replacement.

How’s your cock-juggling thunder-cunt? Is it providing you with all of what you need in life? Sure doesn’t seem like it if you have to come to Heather’s website and attack her for, as you say, “replacing” her deceased child and hint at the possibility of the baby in her belly having problems.

Maybe someone (your crack dealer maybe?) can reach up into your thunder-cunt, remove the decrepit, rotting roaches who have set up house, and restore your sense of humanity.

Enjoy your life, and I hope to JEEBUS & Oprah that you don’t have children on which to release your pent-up jealousy and anger.
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..I lost 15 pounds and I’m giving it to you! =-.

Amy Collen says:

You know it really intrigues me that someone would come on this blog and say something like that. Why and for what purpose? Why would one even bother to look up the Sphores, read the blog, and then go so far as to send a hurtful message knowing very well how people will respond? I honestly feel sorry for you Carrie. You may shrug this off and say whatever, that we are a bunch of kiss asses. No, what we have is empathy. A trait which you seem to lack. One can only hope that true tragedy such as the loss of a child, never happens to you. If it has, than that makes me even more sad that you are as angry as you are. So perhaps in the future just keep your negative opinions to yourself. They are not needed nor are they appreciated.

Ellen says:

I agree with Maya. I don’t think this person is a reader or even has any real convictions or opinion. They’re just insensitive assholely attention seeker. Go away, troll! Find some sports team or political blog to rile people up at.

As an alternative to just deleting their moronic comments, Heather, maybe you can publish their email address for us and we can all sign them up for lots of spam? let the punishment fit the crime!

Ellen says:

It’d be fun for us, suck for them! I wonder if we could make some money selling their address to spam/virus mailers. (FoM fundraising effort! Deterring trolls and helping deserving families, all in one go!)

Laura says:

Sounds like you’re a bit unbalanced, Carrie. Since you clearly have issues that can’t be solved on a blog, I strongly recommend you seek therapy.
.-= IzzyMom´s last blog ..Me vs. The Giant Corporation =-.

Donna says:

If I were you Carrie, I’d consider taking an English class. Your use of the english language is dreadful, barely at a 6th grade level. Oh, and why you’re at it, consider take a class in MANNERS. You’re character is obviously lacking, and that’s being nice, but more importantly, do you want to pass on this apparent flaw?

Kristen says:

I hope with all my heart that you never go through the pain and suffering of losing a loved one. I hope that your kids/grand kids/pets/nieces/nephews/close friends, etc, never have to endure the pain and suffering this family has had to endure. If by some unfortunate way of life, YOU DO go through this, I hope you think of the Spohr family. I hope you think of Friends of Maddie and maybe perhaps do something positive as the result of a negative. I hope that you understand why so many people are upset with your comments and are coming to their defense. Lastly, if you are unfortunate enough to experience a such a tragic loss, I hope that you will reflect on this moment, and that you are disconcerted with your comments as well.

Heather and Mike, even those of us who don’t know you iRL can tell what wonderful parents you are by how you talk about your Maddie. People like you SHOULD be parents. Keeping you guys and Binky Girl in my prayers.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Mama Like =-.

Carrie,
I love how you don’t even have the balls to list your blog. What a chicken shit. Grow up, get a life. Stay away from here. In case you didn’t notice, you aren’t wanted or welcome.
.-= Jodi´s last blog ..Wow =-.

I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. What I do know is that your lack of common decency towards a family that has been through more then you can imagine infuriates me. I have followed the Spohrs for many months now, since just after they lost Maddie. My heart aches for them.

As a nurse I have seen some of the best, and worst that this world has to offer. I have watched people fight to live and those who just give up. And I have watched as their families stand by helpless as the one they love suffers.

Having recently lost someone that I love, I know that we have two choices when faced with such a loss. We can crawl into a hole and give up, or we can choose go on with our lives, and live. I truly believe that it is the living that is the hardest part.

I feel sorry for you that you felt it necessary to spew your nastiness on a family who is grieving. It is not for you to judge the choices of others.

If you don’t like what Mike and Heather have decided, then be an adult and choose to not read this blog.

I wish you the best in all you do. Maddie was a beautiful and happy child, which tells me all that I need to know about the kind of parents that you are and will be to Binky. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

As for the medication, research and make sure that you ask questions. And remember that each person is different so there is no way to truly know until you take it how you will react to it.

Excellent reply, Heather. From what I have read, It seems that Carrie really wanted a reaction. Because she came back for a second time to check, and posted again. She got it. 1st rule of thumb~If ya can’t say somethin nice, don’t say nuttin at all. 2nd. rule~ Don’t respond to the bully, because it encourages them. This is what she wanted, and she got it. As much as I would like to respond to her and tell her how ashamed she should be, All we can do is pray for her and to trust that Karma WILL happen, and may she awaken to the possibility that she doesn’t know life’s answers, as much as she thinks she might. What goes around comes around.
We, the supportive readers support the hungry mean wolf when we feed it with our angry retorts to her. She doesn’t deserve any response, because she walks on the dark side.
However, Heather Sphor is kick ass awesome, and I am so excited that she is still willing to live a life, with a new hope, and she isn’t giving up, even though she undoubtedly wants to sometimes. She is a hero in my book.
.-= Dina´s last blog ..I want it! NOW! =-.

I had an irritable uterus with both my children and was on bedrest from 26 weeks on with both my children. That being said, with my second pregnancy I was put on those drugs, and for me, it was well worth it (I didn’t have a shot – just a pill every day). I went from daily contractions on bedrest to nothing. When they took me off of them, I went into labor in less than a week (my son was born 3 weeks early).

Shannon says:

I was on indocin a few times while I was pregnant with my twins. Only a few days the first couple times, then for 3 weeks when I was rushed to labor and delivery at 25 weeks. The main side effect they were concerned with was low amniotic fluid. They did ultrasounds every week, and when the fluid around twin A was low, they discontinued the indocin and the fluid replenished itself. They took me off at 28 weeks and kept me on procardia for the remainder of the pregnancy. My twins were born healthy at 36 weeks.

Glenda says:

Heather, Praying that you get passed the 24th mark and the edginess subsides a lil and you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Sending you hugs… and praying for some comfort and ease of mind soon. Thanks for sharing your story. I read your posts every day…and every day I say a prayer for you, Mike and Binky. Take care of YOU! XXX

Wendy says:

I have been reading your blog for a few months now – I think Amalah linked to yours when your beautiful Maddie passed, and I’ve been reading it ever since.

I have never commented on a blog of someone I don’t actually “know” – but I just wanted to tell you I pray for your family every night. During the Spring, I thought of Maddie every time I saw purple flowers blooming.

I, too, had really difficult pregnancies. I lost 2 pregnancies early on, and then had 2 really difficult pregnancies that resulted in a healthy boy and girl. They are now 8 and 4. I was on modified bedrest, due to various unrelated complications. I completely understand counting the weeks, days. Every time I read your posts, I hold my breath and hope everything is ok with Binky. I am so glad Binky is here to give you reason to go on and get up in the morning. I can’t even imagine how hard it was to lose Maddie. She was such a beautiful and sweet gift!!

Anyway, for what it’s worth, there is someone in Iowa, thinking of you guys and praying praying that things continue to go well. Come on 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks!

eliza says:

Heather-
I too took terbutaline (Brethene) and progesterone shots starting at 20 wks with twin pregnancy. I was having no contractions at all but my doctor was insistent that we prevent them rather than try to control them once they start. I was high risk due to extremely shortened cervix. I didn’t want to at all and resisted, but I trusted him completely and just did what he said. Made it to 37 wks and one day. Two 6 pounders with zero health or developmental problems. I know Brethene has been around for a long time. I don’t know about Indocin. Maybe ask her why the newer one. So I’d do it again obviously and I’m glad I did it when he told me to. Good luck and strength in making your decision. You will make the right one. Brethene can make you kind of jittery but it didn’t to me. Don’t know about side effects of Indocin.

BedfordKaren says:

Been reading your blog for a while. I have been praying for you everyday. First time commenter. I was on terbutaline with my first when I went into labor at 28 weeks. I had an incompetent cervix and did bed rest until Madison was born at 35 weeks. For my second I had a cerclage and was on terbutaline and made it to 36 weeks with Abigail. I hated the way the terbutaline made me jittery and I felt my heart pounding for about an hour after it took effect. But I loved that it prevented me going into preterm labor. Both of my girls are very healthy (Abigail has a little hole in her heart but I’m told this is common and should not inhibit her from doing anything) and perfectly normal developmentally. I would recommend for the peace of mind. I also got steroid shots for both to help lung development in case of preterm labor. Hope this helps.
Heather, my family loves your family and we are truly praying for your healthy pregnancy and delivery.

Ellen Ritch says:

I have followed you blog now for some time, I ran in The March for Dimes in honor of your Maddie, I think about writing every day but have never written anything because honestly what do you say to someone who has been through soooo much, my heart goes out to you and mike. You guys are in my prayers always. After reading your blog today, I figured now would be a good time to write. I am a labor and delivery nurse. every day I deal with patients that have preterm contractions and working with patients that have the same signs and symptoms as you have experienced during your pregnancy and with your history alone, I would tell you that you should probably take the indocin. While these contractions probably are doing anything to your uterus, you dont want it to get to a point where it can.I have never heard of the medication being unsafe for the baby, and the side effects are minimal….(its better the brethine or procardia or thats what the patients say)… I hope this information helps you and I wish you the best during your pregnancy.

Ragan says:

Heather,
I am a follower of your page and a fellow preemie mom. I pray for all of you daily. During my last pregnancy with Ella the doctor said I had a “hostile” uterus I went into preterm at 17 weeks and never really stopped contracting 100%. I tried a magnesium supplement (actually helped a lot). Magnesium relaxes the smooth muscles and really seemed to help. Later I moved to the Terbutaline Pump but for the minor contractions the supplement helped with no side effects, it actually helped the horrible Zofran side effect a bit.
Please let me know if you need anything!
Ragan
mom to:
Rainey 13
Kt 10 (preemie)
Ella 8 (preemie)
and 7 angel babies

Lauren says:

Hang in there! I was given indocin for 3 days following my emergency cerclage at 22 weeks. The script said that it shouldn’t be taken for more than one week…but I am sure your doc knows better than I do! At 26 weeks, I started having mild contractions…progressing until 30 weeks when my cerclage tore. (Yeah, I know…EEK!) At 33 weeks I went into preterm labor and they gave me mag sulfate, terbutraline (or something like that), etc…but I still had my Maddie within hours of being admitted. I lost my first baby girl, Ella, at 20w6d (pPROM).

rachel says:

Heather: I hope there is some kind of love that you are feeling coming through the computer screen and radiating onto you, Mike, Maddie, Binky and Rigby…because there is a hell of a lot of people who care and support you.

Hi Heather. I don’t think I’ve commented before, but we met at BlogHer on THursday night through Aunt Becky at the expensive cheeseburger place. I believe Julia at Here be Hippogriffs had a terbutaline pump in her pregnancy with the twins.

Valerie says:

Heather,
I used that durning my pregency and I was on it for close to 4months. My son was still born early but he scored a 10 on the Apgar scale. He is now 20 months and has no related health issues because of the drug. Good luck, You are in our prayers.

My doc wouldn’t keep me on Indocin for more than 48 hours because it can reduce the level of amniotic fluid.

They had me on Procardia for 15 weeks instead. I also had irritable uterus. Procardia is a hypertension drug, but the result is that it relaxes the smooth muscles, which your uterus is. For me, the side effect was really rosy cheeks right after I would take each dose, and I would feel flush, but it really helped keep the contractions at bay. They had me stop it at 36 weeks.
.-= Snarky Mommy´s last blog ..Room with a view =-.

Amy says:

I was on terbutaline for I think 3 weeks to get me from 31-34 weeks when I was pregnant with my twins. My Dr. tried Procardia, but it made my blood pressure drop too low because I already have low blood pressure normally. The only side effect I had from the terbutaline was that it made my heart a little racy. Nothing crazy though. Well worth it!

For once I don’t have any advice or suggestions. So just sending you guys lots of love and good thoughts. And know that we’re always here if you need anything (Smarties, other Canadian goodies, etc. *grin*)
((hugs))
.-= PrincessJenn´s last blog ..Yeah, I’m Over the Top =-.

I can’t even imagine going through everything you’re going through. Wouldn’t it be great if we just had a book of answers that told us the “right” thing to do in every instance?? GAH! It’s so hard to know.

Here’s what I can share: I started having contractions at 23 weeks. They started me on Procardia and I had a SEVERE reaction that required an ER visit & multiple tests. They switched me to Terbutaline and I had injections for the remainder of my pregnancy, plus bed rest. Terbutaline gave me (and the baby) a rapid heart rate & I was “edgy” but no other symptoms.

J was born with an intestinal birth defect that resulted in her losing half her small intestine. She also has severe Chronic Lung Disease & asthma. No one knows what caused either issue for her. Was it the drugs?? I don’t know, but I wish I had asked more questions and read more before I took them. It’s also possible that J wouldn’t even BE here if I HADN’T taken the drugs, so who’s to say what the “right” answer was, even with hindsight??

Don’t know how helpful any of that is, but at least it’s more information for your arsenal. Sending tons of love, support and wishes for peace & happiness. I think of you, Mike and Maddie every day.

I also found this abstract for a study through the NIH which found that “The only tocolytic drugs that might be effective are the prostaglandin inhibitors.” Indocin is a prostaglandin inhibitor, which might be why Dr. Risky chose it, but it also looks like it has several potentially scary side effects that I’d want to know more about. Here’s a link for the abstract:

I was on idocin in the hospital with my 31 weeker. My docs said I couldn’t take it long term because it can decrease the amount of amniotic fluid. I was given a 48 hour course of it while they were trying to work out what to do next. Unfortunately, our daughter started showing signs of distress and had to be delivered about 12 hours after I finished with the indocin. Low fluid wasn’t the obvious cause, but they think a slight decrease in fluid along with a cord insertion that was near the edge of the placenta caused her to compress the cord when I did have contractions.

Last pregnancy, I spent about 5 weeks on nifedipine at home after going into PTL at 32 weeks. I carried that little guy to term. The only problem was feeling light headed when I first stood up while I was on that med.

Good luck making a decision on this one. I’m 21 weeks today, and expect to be on some sort of med after my next visit because I’ve been starting to contract more often.

Here we go again. Seriously? What the hell is wrong with someone (Carrie, I’m talking about you), what is so fucked up in your life or your brain that would cause you to write something vicious and cruel to someone who lost a child? What the fuck should they have done, crawled into a cave, wear a hair shirt, flog themselves daily and eat gruel until the urge to live is forced out of them?

I could go on and explain things to you, BUT:

1. Heather and Mike’s life is nobody’s business but their own, and they owe explanations to NOBODY, especially you.

2. I am afraid anything further I say I cannot put on a level simple enough for your pea brain to understand.

3. I’m very close to calling you a cock-juggling thundercunt. I really wouldn’t want to step over a line and go that far. Oh wait, yes I would.
.-= avasmommy´s last blog ..Maddie Six Months Later =-.

Marti from Michigan says:

My niece was on some kind of tocolytic drug (don’t know which) after she went into preterm labor at 22 weeks. She took it for the rest of her pregnancy (pregnancy #2). She was very jittery and short-tempered throughout the rest of her pregnancy, but she and her hubby are glad about it because Scott David was born healthy at term.

By all means, ask Dr. Risky about this drug and ask her if there are others that are “better” or safer?

Kris says:

I have to tell you that today, a little girl named Madeline came into my store wearing a purple sweatshirt and my heart just swelled with thoughts of your family. I’m glad to hear that the unisom is helping w/ the nausea some. I’m sending Binky lots of “stay put” vibes. Lots of love.

eliza says:

Whoa the hater brought out the sailor mouths! I’ve got one myself so I say that in the spirit of friendship. Carrie must be a 15 year old or some young kid. If not, she’s an extremely nutty and immature adult.

Christina W says:

Indomethacin (right????) been on it for my my 7 year old and 2 year old pregnancy(she is surriving twin), it did keep the irratability at bay, but the gut side effects where horrific, I had bad heartburn and morning sickness, but it kept e pregnant from 17 weeks till 35 with my 7 year old PROM at 25 weeks) and with my 2 year old it kept me pregnant until 43(yes 43) weeks. The last pregnancy it was not an option once I was medi-vaced out at 28 weeks the mag became the med that kept me pregnant untill 33 weeks with my last set of twins. I do know the OB at the high risk hospital mentioned something about the med no longer recomened for my case. But when I took it it did keep the irratabilty down, and as my OB says to me each pregnancy I have had, there’s low risk, high risk and then there’s you. I don’t have a problem getting pregant its staying pregnant.
Christina Mom to 7

Eric's Mommy says:

Megan says:

I was on indocin briefly but I don’t remember enough about it to say much.

Are you getting P17 (progesterone) injections? I received those weekly with my second son – my first was born at 24w and passed away after 2 weeks. I had a uterine anomaly (septate/bicornuate uterus) that had been corrected but my OB wanted to cover all our bases. It is supposed to help with irritability. My third son? We were so confident the P17 had been overkill (son #2 was full-term and healthy) that we didn’t do it. Aaaand I ended up with PPROM at 31 weeks, 3 weeks hospital bedrest, traumatic c-section (classical and transverse), two weeks NICU stay, but a blessedly healthy baby now. My perinatologist said the only prophylactic treatment they would suggest if I were to pursue pregnancy again: P17 injections. She quoted something about how they reduce PPROM by 30% in subsequent pregnancies. It’s highly doubtful we’ll do pregnancy again, but knowing about P17 is one of the few things that makes me feel slightly less nauseated by the thought. Best of luck – I know it’s terrifying.

Megan says:

My memory was jogged by reading some of the above comments – I took indocin after my cerclage was placed with son #2. I was on it for five days. As I recall, it is either the same or has many of the same properties as Ibuprofen.

Also, my first son (the 24 weeker) was given indocin as a treatment to close his PDA. I remember asking about that when I was prescribed it post-cerclage – would it affect son #2’s heart? They said it wouldn’t.

kari says:

I’m probably repeating what everyone else said. But I, too, had an irritable uterus and I, too, was on blood thinners. I started contracting at 28 weeks and was on terbutaline pills, then IV, til my water broke at 32 weeks. Then I stayed on it another week til she was born. My girl’s a very healthy 3-year-old now. All this to say, I’d take the meds if I were you. I think the terbutaline, despite it’s side effects of making me shaky and heart-racy, bought us a few weeks …

Cat says:

That is so great about the Unisom!! Funny thing – many many weeks ago I was going to tell you about my home remedy of unisom and b6 vitamins – it’s the same concoction as a prescription med given in Canada and in Europe for morning sickness, but I felt it was innapropriate to offer that kind of unorthodox advice knowing how sensitive this preganancy was going to be for you. SO GLAD your doc reccommended it and you’re getting some relief!! You could ask her if the b6 may help also – that cocktail was a lifesaver for me during both of my pregnancies when I felt like I was going to puke 24/7.

jessie says:

Took turbutalin/brethine for both of my pregnancies with modified bed rest. My 1st pregnancy started taking it at 23 weeks stopped at 35week had baby 3 days later.

2nd baby started at 21 weeks and took it until 36th week baby came on due date.

Brethine made my heart race upon taking it every time. Not a great feeling but it is something you get used to over time. Seemed like it worked. It did help to stop contractions and once I went off 1st time baby came 3 days later.

It is a very individual choice. It makes sense not provoke an irritable uterus. It seems Dr Risky wants to be ahead of the game to ensure Binky can stay in there as long as she can.

I wish you all the best. It is hard when everything feels out of your control even though it’s happening in your own body. Just know you are doing the best for Binky. It sounds like Dr Risky is a great physician and you are in good hands.

Ms. Lee says:

Hello there,
after losing our daughter to prematurity I had to take indocin and another cardiac med during my pregnancy with my son. All I can say is I know how difficult weighing each and every decision regarding our children is, especially after sustaining a loss! Right now, as I type this I am snuggling my sleeping little boy, born at 40 weeks last October and everything, everything we went through during the time he was inside , all the decisions, worries, and questions are gone. We can’t get back the daughters that we have lost but we can do the very best that we can for their siblings. You and your husband are doing your very best, good luck!!!You are a great mom.

I took Unisom and Vitamin B6 together every night before I went to bed throughout my entire pregnancy. It did help to take the edge off of the nausea. With my son, that was all I needed, but with my daughter, I had to take zofran along with it.

My son was born at 32 weeks due to preterm labor, and I’m now 19 weeks pregnant, due March 5.
I too have begun feeling contractions–which does make me a bit nervous. (This is earlier than last time.) Carrying my son up the stairs, bringing groceries from the car into the house, carrying laundry up from the basement, long walks outside, walking/standing for a long time (for instance, a 6-hour shopping trip!)–all those things cause me contractions. I find it helpful to rest, if I’m experiencing them; I try not be on my feet too long, & ask for help lifting (and trust me, i HATE asking for help–even asking my husband!!). Also I’m drinking plenty of water!! I’m trying to drink WAY more water than they recommend, because I know dehydration can preterm labor too.
With my son, I was on procardia for about 3 weeks before he came (due to preterm labor) and I was hospitalized for the last couple weeks before his birth. But it’s possible procardia wouldn’t work with your blood condition–I’m sure your doctor would know how that med would interact w your others. I struggled with the procardia dosage, becoming very lightheaded, feeling like I was going to pass out, so they kept lowering my dosages and giving it to me more frequently, until finally they couldn’t stop labor any more and he came.
Any “tightening” you feel in the uterus may be a contraction–With my son, my contractions were *never* painful, just *tight* and the strong ones uncomfortable.
Today I just got my progesterone prescription in the mail.–I’m starting weekly shots between now and week 36 (if we make it that far!)
I’m following your story all the time! and I’m praying for you and little Binky!!!!!
Hang in there!!
.-= Becky´s last blog ..Light The Candle =-.

My first baby was a spontaneous prem labour at 27 weeks, no reason could be given. But in retrospect, I started aving strong braxton-hicks from 17 weeks, which the Dr said was uncommon, but he thought nothing of it at the time.
In 2nd pregnancy I started having contractions & spotting again at 20 weeks. I was put on a tocolytic called Adalat for the rest of the pregnancy. The Dr said a common side effect of taking the med for a long period in pregnancy was that it was common for labour to be delayed, & an induction was most often necessary.
4 days after stopping the medication I went into labour at 38 weeks.
Personally, that confirmed for me that the meds most likely had been necessary.
The only side effects I had were constant hot flushes & sometimes dizziness, but if that’s the worst to aid the best outcome, I count myself lucky.
Hope that helps, best of luck with your decision.

I haven’t heard of indocin but my savior of an ob/gyn prescribed nifedipine for my pre term labor. When I first begin it I had a horrible headache for the first day. So horrible I called my doc practically in tears. She said it should subside after 24 hours but if not then we would try something else. It did and I didn’t have any other side effects and I took it from 17 wks to about 30 (if memory serves) along with oral terbutaline in later months and also ibuprofen to toughen up my uterus.
I swear I thought my babies were going to come out high and be perpetually stoned…but they are 6 and they are fine and I am fine.

Kristi says:

Forgive me if something I say is a repeat as I haven’t read the other 100+ comments…
I am a pregnacy underachiever – can’t get pregnant with ease and don’t stay pregnant long enough not have preemies. Noncompliant ovaries and irritable uterus that’s me. With my 1st I had PTL at 33 weeks. I had two shots of terbutaline and was sent home on bedrest. the terbutaline initially made me jittery but after that I just had irregular contarctions for the next 3 weeks until my water broke at 36 weeks and I delivered. The joke was that I needed pitocin to get the contractions to be productive. Go figure.

With my next pg with twins I was put on partial bedrest at 20 weeks due to a softer than desirable cervix. Went into sudden preterm labor at 26 weeks and was dilated to 2-3 cm when I was admitted. Before transferring me by ambulance to a high risk facility, they started me on magnesium sulfate. Not a pleasant memory. After 3 days in L&D I was transferred to antepartum inpatient for the duration of my pg. Two weeks later at 28 weeks I was again contarcting and now dilated to 4+ so they gave me indocin. For the life of me I can’t remember the specifics but it was a newer therapy at the time and they monitored it very carefully. The peri was using it wth great care and as he put it was buying time hoping to get the girls to 32 weeks. At 30w2d I was in active labor and dilated to 6 and they said no more attempts to stop labor. so even after all that my girls were born at about 3lbs. each 10 weeks early. sorry I don’t have more info or if my story still resulting in early birth isn’t the most helpful, but I just wanted you to know that the mag sulfate in the first crisis “bought” the girls two weeks and then the indocin “bought” my girls two more weeks. Those 4 weeks were priceless as you and so many others know. I of course know that you’re situation has other variables such as the use of blood thinners that contribute to your concerns about using it, and am sorry I can’t be of more help in that area. Dr. Risky though seems very committed to doing what is best for you and Binky so I think you are in good hands. I hope that whatever decision you make offers you some peace of mind. I know complete peace of mind is not gonna be an option – I understand all too well how your past pg issues take away any possibility of peace of mind in a subsequent pg., and can only imagine the degree to which losing precious Maddie too soon plays into that. Actually I can’t imagine it, truly, and everyday I am inspired by your perseverance in dealing with the loss of Maddie and keeping Binky safe and inside as long as possible. You are always in thought and I am counting the days with you.
Many Hugs and positive thoughts to you,
Kristi

Nicole says:

After reading the negative comments, I just wanted to tell you Heather, Mike, Maddie, Binky, Rigby, and everyone else if your beautiful family, that you are brave and beautiful souls. Very few people are able to be as open as you are, and you have no idea how many people’s lives you’ve touched, how many people you have helped cope with their own losses. I am sorry that there are people out there who don’t understand and appreciate that. After reading this blog, I have come to love Maddie and Binky, because you have shared your love for them with all of us. Please pay no attention to people who think otherwise.

Jamie says:

Sorry Heather, I do not have any advice on the meds but always trust your gut and relay your feelings to your MD. Also trying to conjure up a magic “Troll Be Gone” potion for you but they seem to mulitply like gremlins, unfortunately. Regardless, we continue to pray for you and Binky. Take care!

Heather, I can’t believe the horrible comments made. I found your website from Matt Logelin’s a while back and have read every post. Every morning when I get to work, I read your blog. I’m always anxious to see whats going on, how Binky is doing, and to read your memories of Maddie. I have a 14 month old son, so I can sometimes relate. But I can’t imagine the pain you have suffered. I think it is a wonderful thing that you will have Binky, no matter when she was conceived. During that horrible time, you and your husband needed each other as close as possible – and I think that resulted in a beautiful life. She is not replacing Maddie. SHe never could. She will be a separate, beautiful, individual, Maddie’s little sister. You have my prayers and friendship (even if only online).
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Been A While =-.

I want to lash out at the person who probably made up her name and posted negative things on this site but I don’t want to give any more attention to such a cold, mentally unstable person.
I don’t know the grief of losing a child like you do, Heather and Mike. I read your words every day as one of my first tasks and I cry and smile along with you. I know our son’s developmental problems would and should never keep us from continuing our plan to extend our family just because it was unexpected and hard for us. It is no one’s business but they are more than comfortable telling us to stop trying to conceive. I’m sorry anyone thinks this is their business because it is your family decision and yours alone. You clearly make gorgeous babies and Binky will not only be beautiful like Maddie, but she will be provided for, and loved and wanted like no other. God bless your family now and always and I pray the only comments you let into your heart are the loving ones that belong there.
More love from NC…
Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..With a Heavy Heart… =-.

Heather says:

I stumbled across your blog through a friend of mine’s blogsite and became drawn to your story. The two of you are beautiful people. I am the mother of a perfectly health almost 20 month old baby girl named Savanna. I cannot imagine for even a moment what you and your families must be going through in grieving the loss of your precious child. I am so sorry for your heartache and your loss. My heart goes out to you, genuinely. Your strength and your openness inspire me. Sometimes in life we take things for granted. Your story has opened my eyes and made me appreciate my family so much more. I commend you for your strength and your courage, and I think that it’s a wonderful thing that despite the trauma and the heartache that you’ve been through that you are still determined to expand your family and love a child the way that the two of you have more than shown that you’re capable of doing. I agree with your dad today Heather, that it would be a terrible shame to waste that gift by not having more children. I can only imagine that this is a scary time for you and I understand your apprehension for exictement. Regardless, my thoughts and prayers are with you all in hopes that this baby Binky will arrive safe and sound and live the life that she should. You’re both wonderful parents and good people. Thank you for sharing your story.

Diana says:

Carrie, Honestly I feel sorry for you; because to have such a lack of compassion then obviously there is something missing from your life. Clearly you don’t have children; I can’t imagine a mother being so hateful to another mother who has lost a child. And if you do have children I can only imagine the type of children you are raising. I don’t understand what the purpose of your post was; the only thing I can think of is someone so desperate for attention that ANY type of attention is wanted; and that is so very sad.

But anyways I am so sorry Heather that someone would say such hurtful things to you; I wish you the best and hope that binky arrives safe and healthy.

I had an irritable uterus with my pregnancy as well…I was on bedrest and did take the meds when I was in the hospital a couple times but not in general. It was annoying as hell, but as long as my cervix wasn’t dilating, it was okay. Just meant more trips to L&D than I would have liked.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..FYI: Your kid rolling over at 2 months doesn’t make you any less lame. =-.

Vickie Couturier says:

I personally think that”Carrie”is just someone who stumbled on here to cause a stink,an she/he did just that,I saw Dr Phil say onetime that heaps of praise an support is great but it only takes one bad comment or action to ruin everything,thats what the person will remember the negative,look at all the postive people who are here in support of you an your family,one idiot comes in just to get some attention,If you need attention that bad at someones expense,go see a THERAPIST! ,but we are all concentrating on postive thoughts here,an prayers for this family,they have been thru enought,shame,shame on you whoever you are to come an put out negative comments an vibes,this family has the right to do as they see is best for them,im sick to my stomach that someone would come an make a comment like that,we support this family an no negative c omments are welcome,take it somewhere else please!

Melissa says:

I know you will read these comments and forget the loving ones and remember the hateful ones. It’s human nature to do that, I think… but remember that the loving comments are left by those who “know” you through your words, and by those who aren’t being mindlessly supportive, but who actually care about you. Any hateful words left here are almost certainly left by someone who has no idea who you are, and they are meaningless. Please don’t let them hurt you. I don’t think there is a single person who has been reading here who would even fathom that Maddie is replaceable.

When you wrote about your and Mike’s dreams, it reminded me of something my mother told me once. She hadn’t planned on my younger sister. In fact, she almost terminated the pregnancy, because my family was so poor they couldn’t afford another child. The night before my mother’s appointment, she had a dream about a little girl with round cheeks and a huge smile – my sister. My mother had a hard life, both before and after my childhood… she tells me sometimes that she thinks my sister “chose” her because she knew that my mother needed her. She said that my sister is her angel baby, and has saved her life in more ways than one can count.

Maybe that is what Binky is doing for you. Maybe Binky chose you because she knows. Maybe Maddie sent her. Maybe maybe maybe. Whatever it is, this child is already loved around the world and I doubt there is a single REAL person who would think that she, in any way whatsoever, is replacing Madeline.

Melissa says:

In case it wasn’t clear, by the way, my mother didn’t go through with her appointment. My sister is 24 years old, and she and my mother are best friends. I don’t know about God or fate or any of that, but I do think my sister chose my mother before she was born.

Diana says:

Laura says:

I love this post too. And you are so right about the negative posts- there are probably 10,000 postive loving comments to every ONE hurthul one, but of course we remember the awful words of the trolls. It is so unfortunate.

I couldn’t agree more that our babies choose us. I don’t think it was an accident that Maddie and Binky chose such a sweet Mommy!!

I don’t know about the drugs you mentioned but I took liquid cal/mag in my second pregnancy to slow irritable contractions. I bet you’re low on a lot of vitamins, and maybe a bit dehydrated, since you’ve had a hard time eating. You can try this for a few days and see if it helps while you’re deciding about the drugs. How bad are the side effects?
.-= dirttodish´s last blog ..Kicking and Screaming =-.

I know I am a day late and a dollar short, but I kept Hadley cooking for 6 weeks longer with the help of terbutaline. I had the pump in my leg from week 24 to week 30. I delivered her at 30 weeks and 3 days. Clearly it was working because the day after I stopped the pump, nothing else worked. I was in the hospital for 2 days on the mag, but she came. She was lovely and perfect and I am so grateful she was a 30 weeker and not a 24 weeker.

Tina says:

Hey Heath,
I have no experience with the drug Risky mentioned. I was on Procardia (Nifedepine) with Jack from week 24-36 (although my contx started way before that). I had no side effects but it didn’t stop my uterus from having those “hard belly” BH contractions. I had them every 2-10 minutes for weeks on end. I will say that within a couple days of going off of the meds, my water broke. Procardia lessened the severity of my cntx but not the frequency. I think the drug saved Jack from being born at 24 weeks and he doesn’t seem to have any real problems-except eating the dog’s food on occasion

On a serious note, anything that keeps Binky comfy in there is worth it. I think that the pros far outweigh the cons when addressing possible pre-term labor.

Marti from Michigan says:

I haven’t had the joy and pleasure of being preggers yet, but hope to some day soon! I would do everything I can to bring in a healthy baby to term, as long as the medication your taking is in no harm to Binky I would take it. Everything possible to make sure Binky is healthy and strong to meet mama and daddy and everyone else who loves her very much already!

Heather, Mike, Maddie & Binky
I found you all by accident?? I was doing web research for my own business and you guys came up. I spent well over an hour reading. “Dear God bless them” is all I could summon up in my thoughts. You are courageous beyond belief. Here’s to Binky’s easy entrance to this world. I’m praying for apcar scores being done while she is reaching for the breast. Go gently. Be well. Not sure how you do it thus more prayers.
Virginia. http://www.momforjoy.com

A little late, but I wanted to add that I was on terbutaline for 3.5 weeks as I went into labor at 33 weeks. I was basically high on that stuff and I tried to stay on the couch, but it was hard. I had to remember to just try to take care of my little one.

It was hard, but it’s the right thing to keep Binky in the toaster longer even if it drives you mad.

And just ignore that Carrie. Trolls go away when they are starved.
.-= Spacemom´s last blog ..Just call me Mom =-.

kathy says:

I was on brethine from weeks 18 – 32 when I was pregnant with my twins in 1998. I had no side effects from it at all, other than tons of energy! For some strange reason, the contractions went away once I was off the meds and I went 39 wks.

trish says:

I took Indocin on and off for about a month. It didn’t bother me at all, and most importantly it did seem to help calm the contractions. I agree wholeheartedly about the water- my perinatologist was 1.5 highway hours away and drinking on the way wasn’t a good option. I would nearly always arrive having contractions that would immediately subside once I could drink again. My son was ultimately born at 33 weeks and is smart, happy and healthy. Well worth it to us.

Your doing great. There are so many people supporting this journey of yours. I took anti-contraction medicine with 3 of my babies. I too have an irritable uterus, and I know how scary it can be. I didn’t use the medication you are being asked to use, mine was different. The only thing that happened was that when I was able to stop taking it, and was able to get off bed rest, My body refused to go into labor, and I had to be induced with all three of them. This pregnancy right now (I am 25 weeks) has been amazing, and my Braxton hicks, although uncomfortable, aren’t making any progress on the cervix so they are just monitoring me closely. Good luck with your choice. I know you will be fine. Blessings!!
.-= Dina´s last blog ..I want it! NOW! =-.