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Yes. I said it. Women are sexual objects and sexual beings. They are so much more than that, too. But something I have come to realize is that a seducer is able to bring the sexual side out of the female being and her energy.

I have been conflicted about this since my breakup, mostly due to the fact that most pick up companies and even RSD frame it a bit differently. They say, “all women are sluts”. I don’t like the word “slut” because it implies that there’s something inherently bad about her. Are are innately good and evil? I’m not sure.

But what I do know is that even the purest girl will have sexual urges. And to deny them completely is to ignore the truth. You could argue that to indulge them funny may also be an addiction and denial of your priorities in life. But there’s no doubt – sex is a big part of our lives and we should be able to enjoy it.

I’ve been beating off my sexual urges so I can tone down my work time right now for my business. However, I’ve discovered that I am somewhat content or unhappy at that because I know I am capable of so much more. I see pick up as a fun skill that I am learning. I don’t mistreat any of my girls, and I try to treat everyone with respect while still having that flirty energy that makes a women attracted and interested in you (think Russell Brand). You have to have a bit of dynamic push and pull in your conversations in order to generate a high level of interest with women beyond just your looks.

I realize now that I was denying that women were sexual creatures and I choose to treat them all as reasonable, sane, proper individuals of society. But the social narrative has a tendency to hide the real truth in favor or preserving the social order. The truth is that women, and men, are sexual creatures. We are driving by our nature, which is to survive, and to replicate. We are also driven by intellect, love, compassion, and inspiration.

There was a scene in Boston Legal where Alan Shore, the intelligent and yet hugely vile lawyer remarks, “Am I a misogynist, Denny? I’d like to think of myself as intelligent and reasonable and… but sometimes, I can’t help but just see women as….the perfect comforter for my lonely genitals”. (I’m paraphrasing here). But what Alan was trying to say was that, here he was, a professional, rational lawyer of superior skills and intellect, and yet, his base instincts to mate with the opposite sex still compel him to have these dirty thoughts.

Perhaps the right path for me to travel, is to see that human nature is innately good and bad, and to embrace and love someone completely, you need to be able to see and understand both of these natures.

To take this further philosophically, Nietzsche may have been right when he said, “there is not good and evil”. Taking a page from SparkNotes:

That is, we tend to think of moral concepts like good and evil as stable, grounded in some distant origin. Nietzsche attempts to show that our moral concepts have always been fluid, to the point that the word good, for example, has had contrary meanings to different people. Our moral concepts have a long genealogy and are by no means fixed. By dislodging the idea that good and evil exist somehow independently of our wills, Nietzsche encourages a greater sense of agency with regard to our moral lives.

Nietzsche explains the fluidity of moral concepts by reference to the will to power. According to Nietzsche, the will to power is the fundamental drive in the universe. Every will has a desire for independence and to dominate other wills, though this will to power expresses itself in many different ways. For instance, the schoolyard bully achieves physical power over others, while the nerd studies hard to achieve an intellectual kind of power. Since all concepts are human inventions, Nietzsche argues, all concepts are ultimately the expression of some will or other. For example, the concept of good can mean wealth and vigor or it can mean meekness and charity, depending on who interprets it. If we seem to have relatively fixed moral concepts in this day and age, that is only a result of the triumph of slave morality over all other points of view. By assuming that these concepts have fixed meanings, we are surrendering our will to the wills of those who framed these concepts. Strong-willed people, according to Nietzsche, resist the categories of thought that are foisted upon them and have the independence and creativity to see the world from their own distinctive perspectives.”

First Stage – The first is the primitive stage. It is a stage of original ignorance in which a person knows nothing about the art of combat. In a fight, he simply blocks and strikes instinctively without a concern for what is right and wrong. Of course, he may not be so-called scientific, but, nevertheless, being himself, his attacks or defenses are fluid.

The second stage — the stage of sophistication, or mechanical stage — begins when a person starts his training. He is taught the different ways of blocking, striking, kicking, standing, breathing, and thinking — unquestionably, he has gained the scientific knowledge of combat, but unfortunately his original self and sense of freedom are lost, and his action no longer flows by itself. His mind tends to freeze at different movements for calculations and analysis, and even worse, he might be called “intellectually bound” and maintain himself outside of the actual reality.

The third stage — the stage of artlessness, or spontaneous stage — occurs when, after years of serious and hard practice, the student realizes that after all, gung fu is nothing special. And instead of trying to impose on his mind, he adjusts himself to his opponent like water pressing on an earthen wall. It flows through the slightest crack. There is nothing to try to do but try to be purposeless and formless, like water. All of his classical techniques and standard styles are minimized, if not wiped out, and nothingness prevails. He is no longer confined.

There were a couple of things I learned from attending San Diego’s Fashion Week and I am going to add this as part of the “Dating 9s and 10s” series. Here are my notes post event.

For those of you that don’t know, SD Fashion Week started a year ago with 12 designers in 2012. 3 appeared on the NY fashion week runway, and this year we are featuring 26 designers. While an emerging market, the fashion week staff has done a great job publicizing and marketing San Diego as the “emerging designer” city for fashion.

I met a lot of artists, designers, models, agency owners and other auxiliary services that cater to the whole fashion industry.

Picture from http://fashionweeksd.com/

Lessons Learned:

There are SO many people who are better than me as professional “artists”. They have crafted their image, and know how to convey their personality in just ONE look.

Trying to “Game” models reminded me of what it was like to be on equal footing with all the other guys and NOT have automated attraction based on my style, image or height. Basically, I experienced what it was like as as normal dude without any style because at the shows, everyone had amazing style. While the whole point of Seduce With Style was to help guys get a leg up with their image at the first “look”, if everyone is styled out you basically have to start from zero.

Don’t settle – a lot of people do. There’s also this social conception that when you get married, you become LAME and boring. There were plenty of people who still have fun doing what they do, kids or no kids, and you can still feel the excitement and adrenaline rush of doing something great. Don’t give up on this, ever.

Model girls are a group of randomly chosen models from different cities. Some of them live here in SD, others in LA. They are just like any other random group of demographics. There’s the nice shy girl, the party girl, and others. None of them were stereotyped other than the fact that they were tall, and had very distinct features. So from that perspective you can’t just have one method of type of “game” with model girls, since they are all human beings and you have to look at their psycho-graphics instead of their physical attributes. Read more

I came across this interesting data graphic online while browsing one of Mystery’s Facebook feeds. You’ll notice that Finland, Sweden and the northern European countries have a younger virgin rate. Next is Brazil and Australia. America, Russia are average at about 18 years.

India and China are the most late, at 23+ years. Isn’t that interesting that most pick-up bootcamp students tend to be Indian or Asian students?