Parents “Renaming” Kids After The Reasons They Were Conceived

How a child got their name is a cherished part of family lore. Often, the name was meant as a tribute, maybe to a beloved relative or an inspiring historical figure. Or maybe they were named after a fictional teenager who’s really good at assassinating people.

But what if kids were named after the way the reasons we have them? Bunmi Latidan, creator of the @HonestToddler Twitter account, posed that exact question, along with the answer:

If we named kids after the reason we had them it’d be like, “Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I’m trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.”

Lots of other parents on Twitter followed suit, and the results were hilarious. Here are 15 of the best. Not only will these parents give you a good chuckle, their jokes also provide a window into the reasons many couples decide to have kids–and many of those reasons are less-than-romantic. And you know what? That’s OK!

1. Tequila, and a medical miracle.

???? Hey, Too Much Tequila, I need you to babysit The Doctor Said I Would Never Get Pregnant Again while I go to the liquor store.