Oh, yeah, you read that right. My parents threw J and I an engagement party two weeks ago and it was insane in the best way possible. And by insane I mean huge; it was an event (umm, we even got surprised with an outrageous ice sculpture). Seriously—ever since the party people have been saying how great of a time they had but that it could have been our wedding because there was a cocktail hour, DJ, photographer, and seated dinner. All we needed was a priest and we’d be good to go. It’s kind of true, too.

Before J proposed, I had major engagement fever. But, the thing is, I’m not a totally bridal-y bride. I never really planned on having a huge wedding and I never even really fantasized about what type of dress I’d wear. I just knew I wanted to marry J. So, once we got engaged last October, I had to really start thinking about what I wanted and J and I had to figure out where we saw ourselves saying, “I do.” We agreed that an intimate destination wedding in Aruba was exactly what we wanted. Once we set a date (July 12, 2014!) and booked a venue, my parents put in their two cents.

Dancing with my dad...right after his sweet toast made me cry.

Since we chose a destination wedding, my parents wanted to have a bigger engagement party to invite all of our friends and family who might not be able to attend. It makes sense—traveling to Aruba is a lot to ask of people. But once we started inviting family and friends (my family alone is gigantic since my dad has 9 brothers and sisters and my mom has 3!), the party totally exploded. Also: my parents are REALLY excited. They got married at City Hall and I’m their first child to get hitched so they’re going all out with plans for J and I. Which is awesome.

Did somebody say giant ice sculpture?

So the party turned out to be our almost-wedding. J and I spent the entire night saying hello and then saying goodbye to our 180 (!!) guests. We missed the entire cocktail hour and didn’t even get to taste the cupcakes we picked out. Luckily we managed to dance for about 30 minutes (of the 5 hours) before the whole thing was over. Needless to say, our heads were spinning and we feel like we really made the right decision choosing a destination wedding. Yes, we spent most of our party thanking our amazing guests for attending, but when we’re in Aruba we’ll actually get to hang out and enjoy our company. Of course there will be hellos and goodbyes, but when you’re with your wedding party for a week you actually get to dance at your entire wedding. We’re psyched.

The way J and I look at it, Aruba is just for us: Intimate, low-key, romantic. The party was over-the-top and so much fun and exactly what my parents wanted (turns out we had a really great time, too). We got to have the best of both worlds and our parents, relatives, and friends all get to celebrate with us at one point or another. Win-win.

Whether or not you’re engaged, what do you see for your wedding? If you’re planning a small wedding would you have a bigger engagement party to compromise with your parents or in-laws? And do you like the idea of celebrating with a big party before or after a destination wedding? I have to tell you J and I are counting down to July 2014!!