Lessons Learned

Life is a lesson you’ll learn it when you’re through.

— Unknown

As high school begins to come to a close, I am calling to mind all of the important lessons I have learned since I began middle school. As we grow up we do not realize how much we mature and figure out along the way. As seen in my past posts, I love to reminisce in the past. I love to think about how I could have done something differently. I love talking everything out as well. I have a few lessons that I have accepted and have been hard to comply with. Some of them are silly, but they took me awhile to learn.

Lesson #1: Do not tell your friends who you like

I cannot even tell you how many times I did this from 6th-10th grade. I also received the same result every time. I would trust too many people with a secret that I guess was really juicy or something because the boy I had a crush on always found out. You know what happens hen they find out? They back away slowly, turn, and then run quickly. The first instance of this actually occurred in 5th grade. I liked a boy and his friend asked me who I liked. Being naive, I told the friend who told other people and soon my entire class knew. It is one thing to like someone in high school, but a completely different thing in elementary school. Everyone made fun of me for a normal occurrence in the adult world. You would have thought I would have learned to never speak of my crushes ever again, but no. Fast forward to 9th grade. The start of high school was such an amazing experience. All of a sudden our grade had so many new boys that I had never seen in my life. Mainly from the Catholic schools around town. This new boy I liked was in my Algebra class. He had this amazing flippy hair which I had never seen on someone who was not famous so the first time I saw him I had an instant crush. I told my friend that I liked him and she said she would try to get us together. Long story short, she ended up going for him and completely blew my trust. I had never experienced such betrayal (or at least it felt like it). I believe that was the last time I told someone I liked someone. The next time I liked someone I kept it a secret and did not admit anything to anyone who asked. And what happened? I started sating him and we have been dating for two years. The moral of the story is never tell your friends who you like. It rarely turns out well. They tend to make it their business and it can ruin the frame for a relationship before it is even built.

Lesson #2: Never feel trapped in a friendship

I had a few friends that have been the controlling types. They are the types of people who like to make sure they are in charge of you. If you do one thing that they do not tend to agree with, you are at fault. This is unfortunate especially if you are like how I use to be. I would let people walk all over me because I had trouble saying no. I would let people control me and then if I made a tiny mistake I was suddenly a horrible person. I had a friend once who called me stupid on multiple occasions and then later at the end of our friendship spread rumors about me and turned a few of my friends against me even though they were not involved.

I had another friend who was very clingy if I talked to my other friends she would not talk to me for a day or so because I “ditched her”. Well, actually, I did not. She was reading a book while I was talking to my friends. There are many other times where she would get mad at me for silly reasons. The point is, never feel as if you are trapped in a friendship, or a relationship for that matter. An unhealthy friendship or relationship may seem okay, but it is not. Get out of it if you feel like it is not normal.

Lesson #3: It is okay to disagree

It can be difficult to know that someone may not like you. You question yourself. “Why do they not like me?” “What did I do to them?” It is okay to not get along with everyone. We were all created with our own opinions. Some people may not like that and that can be a shock when we think that the world revolves around us. However, I have accepted that not everyone will like me. Even though I think my personality is a winning one and I try my hardest to be kind to people, I know that sometimes that may not be enough. We just have to get over it and find the people who like us for who we are. Why focus your attention on trying to change someones opinion about you? That rarely works and you lose out on time with people who like you! Everyone has that one person who just drives them crazy. Why on Earth would you want to think about the person who drives you crazy? That seems like a waste of time, energy, and sleep. This is a lesson I have recently become more open to. I really do not want people to dislike me and I am the type of person who would try their hardest to get the person to like them. That has never worked so I settled with the fact that not everyone I will come across will like me and I am okay with that.

Lesson #4: It is okay to have personal time

When I first started high school I wanted to keep every weekend booked with social activities. That started to wear me out. Between my sports, music, homework, and friends, I had no time to spend by myself. I really enjoy having time to myself. I like to just sit and read good books while drinking hot chocolate. I love to just sit at my computer late at night and blog ( like I am right now!). As an only child I learned quickly how to entertain myself and I guess that made me less social? I love a good party and eating out with my friends do not get me wrong, but I just love to have calm time to recharge and contemplate life. I love to sit and think about all that goes on around me. It is quite onerous to do so surrounded by a lot of chatter. My favorite places to go are usually Starbucks and the library. No one talks to you there and you can just have peace of mind knowing that know one is going to start yelling at something. It really is okay to have personal time to do whatever you love the most. As cliché as this may sound, finding yourself is one of the most important adventures one can have in their life.

Lesson #5: You do not have to drink or do drugs to fit in

A common misconception among teenagers is that they need to drink or do drugs to fit in once they reach high school. I have yet to try either of those things and I am proud of it. I know people who have tried alcohol or drugs and I think it is silly. You get one life. Why do you want to potentially mess it up at such a young age? While there is a slim chance you will be caught, there is still a chance. People tend to believe that trying alcohol or drugs makes them fit in with certain groups. My opinion is that if a group requires you to try these things, maybe they are not the group for you. You should not have to feel pressured to be a part of a group. You should feel confident enough in yourself to know that you are better than people who like to make poor choices. You should always know that there is a group out there that will accept you for who you are and you do not need to try these harmful substances.

These five lessons are just the main five that I feel are the most important. I hope you all can relate or can take something away from this post.