Question

Letting family in during delivery...

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When I found out I was pregnant my mom and older sister just assumed they were invited to the birth, because we are very close.I was in for my sister's baby, but she wanted me there. I am really embarassed, it is my first baby, and I've heard horror stories about bowel movements, peeing and passing gas. I really don't know what to do about this or how to tell them that I am uncomfortable...any suggestions?

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The last time that I made a comment here, there was one rude woman who tried to make the discussion about me and my choice of a user name. She was so ugly to me. 12-16-13
Anyway, I just want to tell women that they do have a right to not include their husband's opinion about who watches you give birth, as you are the patient. What need is it for his mom or dad to be there? What is their role and don't say support. That is so ridiculous That is a decision that is explicitly the pregnant woman's decision. And the thing about what he wants, why would a man be so selfish in insisting that his mom come into the delivery room. His mom is not her mom and he cannot put his mom's wants over his wife's wishes, unless he too wants to be kicked out.
It makes me question that husband's loyalty and respect for his wife. I really do not believe that any woman on this earth, would try to make her husband's medical treatment about what she wants. I just believe that we women are not that selfish when it comes to our husbands sensitive serious health procedures.
Now tell me would your husband allow you to dictate to him, who watches his penile exam? See how outrageous and unfair that sounds? Your husband as a patient should decide on his own who gets to look at him while he is naked and a patient. Same goes for his wife. The wife does not have a right to try to say she has part in that decison. She cannot invite her parents for her support. She does not need support in that way, in the room. The same goes for a woman giving birth. Her husband DOES NOT have a say in who watches her hurt, cry, moan, and struggle to bring a baby out of her vagina, then have her baby's first latch while her her breasts are exposed.
What woman on this earth wants her dad and her father in law, to be in the room. You all need to be realistic and stop trying to indoctrinate young vulnerable females into accepting your practices. If you as a woman wants your .body exposed while you are hurting and pooping and your male family members are there watching, go ahead and do it, but do not try to make this a standard feature of childbirth.
And no, I absolutely would not want or need my own dad or any non medical male in the room. I am already hurting and uncomfortable. and at some point I may want to tak off my clothes and get in the tub. I do not want my dad and brother, amd father in law in that room. And what man would want to see his daughter naked any? Sounds a little wierd and a little boundary stomping to me.

with my first daughter my older sister step mom and my daughters father were in there and then it felt like every nurse in the hospital was coming in to watch the show, I am now pregnant with my 3rd child with my bf of almost 2 years and this is his first child and hes assured me he'll stay by my head for the birth unlike my first 2 childrens dad who just watched then liked to be sick and remind me of every little thing he saw even after I said stop loser lol point being im only letting my bf and father of my unborn child in the room absolutely no one else.

It's whatever you feel comfortable with and in the end it's YOUR decision. My mom assumed she would be in the room with me too, and was quite surprised when I told her I did not want her in there with me. The birth of my daughter was to be a private moment for me and my husband to share alone.

Preparing your family by letting them know you aren't comfortable with it is a good idea. Also, On the day of the delivery, let the nurses know what you want and let them handle the situation.
With my first, I didn't get a choice who was in with me because my mother and sister just showed up and I am a pushover and let it slide. ( My sister became my biggest support though, taking the place of my husband as he watched cartoons. Nice Right) This second time around though, I am going to let everyone know, I want this to be more private- and only have my husband and myself in the room ( and no TV).

Discuss your concerns with your mom and sister, explain how you feel and ask that they wait in the waiting room for you to be ready for them. If you change your mind, a nurse would/should be happy enough to pop out and ask them to come in!

I had the same issue.. Kind of. I didn't want anyone in there but me and the daddy... He wanted my mom and his. I agreed because it was important to him. In all honesty it didn't matter that much. They didn't see anything until it was time and I was to happy and exhausted to care while delivering and after to care.
That being said.. You shouldn't feel bad about telling them you don't want them in the room. Tell them you want it to be just you, or just you two. It's your first child and you feel it should be a private event to celibrate your new family. Or tell them you don't want them to see your stuff. They can try and fight your words, but they won't be aloud in if you give orders to your doctor that they aren't to be there. They will get over it when they do get to see the baby!!! So do what you feel most comfortable with.

I was very nervous too and told my husband and mother to stay by my head so they didn't see anything (if I pooped, etc). While I was pushing they asked if they could look and I said yes because I simply didn't care anymore. If you don't want them in there, then be honest with them, but if you are just worried about pooping or something then ask everyone to stay behind you. FYI I was terrified about pooping and I didn't.

With my first child the only person that I wanted in the delivery room was my child's father. I let the nurses know and I think they told everyone that only one person could be in the room for the actual delivery process. Let them be the "bad guy". I had the same fears that you did, & honestly, once you start pushing all that stuff goes out the window.

I totally agree with not wanting anyone in the delivery room... I told everyone if they had hard feelings about it I was sorry....but that was not my issue...and you shouldnt stress it while you're pregnant....
The worst part of pregnancy is not morning sickness, sleepless nights, or the lack of orgasms in sex.lol.
its the polotics with all the people,family, relatives,etc. They expect things they shouldn't from you... its your baby- your labor...you're the boss.
But honestly I dont think you should be embarrassed about all the gas and bowels and stuff... the people that are pressuring you to be in there should be embarrassed- after all they are the ones insisting on seeing it..lol...

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