Anti-Masturbation Movement

What Happens When You Give Up Life's Best Guilty Pleasures? Our Writer Found Out

Other than the relentless eating, though, I haven’t noticed much change. Except what was expected: being exceptionally horny and tempted to touch my disregarded appendage as if it were begging me to — which I assume might happen via hallucinations come week four. There was one night I had difficulty sleeping, where a nice jerkoff session would have been nice, but, you know, rules are rules.

Instead of giving into temptation, I visited NOBNOM’s message board to find that some participants had already relapsed (some as early as Day 2), while others were experiencing better sex (“the best in years”) and killer productivity. One man cited uncertainty concerning the challenge’s parameters, admitting he had jerked, but didn’t come, and wanted to know if he failed the challenge. After some feedback, he decided to start over.

Participants have been generous in their suggestions to fight back. It’s a community in that sense. Some go running, others snap an elastic band on their wrist, some cook, and others do drugs. I just eat a shit-ton. Obviously, in the beginning phases of the challenge, some are adopting healthier habits while others are developing worse. Which begs the question: Is this unnatural abstinence worth it, and is it even safe?

As of now, I’m not convinced anything greatly noticeable will come from the challenge. But I do identify as a bit of a critic, so who’s to say. Some people truly believe they’re reaping benefits, but whether this is due to NOBNOM or just a placebo is anyone’s guess. But I’ll definitely fill you in as I find out.

Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go, like, walk the dog or something.