If Divorce is Inevitable, What Steps Should You Take?

Posted on January 21, 2016

I can’t say enough how important it is to consider the next steps after you decide to go through with a divorce in NH. In the traditional model of divorce, the answer is commonly that you should talk with a lawyer about how to protect yourself from the other party and affirmatively get the upper hand. Common tactics include filing for divorce stealthily and before your spouse has a chance to file first.

Nowadays, there is a good deal of professional and institutional support for parties in a divorce to use the least adversarial process necessary to protect their legal interests. A more amicable divorce allows the parties to maintain a productive relationship. This is especially important when children are involved and parents need a healthy and productive co-parenting relationship throughout their children’s lives. A highly adversarial divorce can do irreparable damage to co-parents’ relationships, not to mention the financial and emotional cost it takes on you and your spouse.

There are cases in which the malice of one party requires the other to be protective. In such cases, an aggressive stance is warranted. But all too often, attorneys do not assess whether such a stance is necessary in a given case; they just paint every case with the same broad brush. Unfortunately, if both parties move to aggressive and adversarial positions unnecessarily, the positions can be hard to move back from.

When this happens early in a case, it really can set the stage for the way that the case progresses for the next year and a half. The result is that many cases that don’t need to be aggressively litigated end up being so because overly aggressive positions were carved out too early in the process. Once you know a divorce is imminent, you should first consider what kind of a divorce you want to have.

If you and your spouse are on amicable terms, this is a conversation that you can and should have together. Once you’ve given thought to how you want your divorce to progress, then I recommend seeking the counsel of a trusted and experienced family law attorney to advise you of the risks and benefits of a litigated divorce and the likelihood of success for such an approach in your unique case.

If you have questions about taking the first step towards divorce, please do not hesitate to contact Weibrecht Law.