Friday, March 07, 2008

Lobsterfest

During the Arizona-Oregon State basketball game last night there was a Red Lobster commercial announcing it was Lobsterfest. I've always taken Lobsterfest in stride and even gotten a little excited about it on occasion, even though I've never partaken in the event because not only are Tucson Red Lobsters tougher to get into than Studio 54 in the 70s, but anything at Red Lobster that actually contains lobster is either double the cost of anything else on the menu, or the dreaded "market price," which is so astronomical it can't even be listed, and is at the manager's cruel whim. I always look over the menu for several minutes, gawk at the lobster dishes for a while and end up going with the fried seafood platter. Never have I managed to finish the whole thing, which depresses me every time.

Anyway, last night's commercial got me thinking - why does Red Lobster need a Lobsterfest? It's sort of redundant, no? Like Taco Bell having tacofest, KFC having chickenfest or Yokahama Rice Bowl having cockroachfest. At Red Lobster, every day should be Lobsterfest, as well a Cheesebiscuit fest. When you get right down to it, the thing that keeps me going back to Red Lobster, enduring the long waits, overpriced food and shoddy service, it's the biscuits. So, so tasty. If any Red Lobster waiters are reading this, I implore you to keep the biscuits coming. Anything short of four baskets and I drastically reduce your tip.

I don't care if they're made of floor sweepings they taste delicious. (ok, I do care, but not a lot)

We usually have no problem getting into the Red Lobster in Chandler at 56th St. Or is that Tempe at Priest? Whatever. My wife and I went there the other night for just appetizers and, for me, cheese biscuits. :)

Being someone who doesn't like seafood, I've always wondered why a lobster restaurant needed to have a special "Lobsterfest". The word itself makes me chuckle; what do they sell during the rest of the year?

Also, if it's really a festival about lobsters, why are we eating them? Shouldn't we instead be celebrating their existence? In my mind, Lobsterfest sounds like it should be the "save the whales" call of the crustaceans.

I can tell you one little secret about the cheesebiscuits. DON'T make them with milk. Make them with ICE COLD, literally, ice cold water. Fill a pitcher with ice to the top and then pour water over the ice and use that to make the biscuits and don't beat the whole mixture of bisquick, cheddar cheese and and water for too long. oh...btw, the brushing on top is basically melted butter, with garlic powder and some parsley.

Lobsterfest on the other hand is just a promotion and the best time of year to sell lobsters, because the harvest is the best and the prices are the lowest for buying them, therefore the markups are highest :)