Did you ever dream that you were a dog agility super champ except then it switched and you were at some germy, grungy, derelict seaside park in the dark and the carnies were actually drug addled zombies that were shambling after you with hammers and their big teeth? And then as you're trying to escape your way out from under their oily, horrible claws by clambering up a rat infested palm tree, you're all, this is about dog agility like, how?

04 April 2012

A dream of a life where nothing is being chopped up into small bits which has calmness and larger cabins and beautiful fairies.

You know at the end of the movie Fargo, and Frances McDormand sneaks around out back of the lake cabin and there's Steve Buscemi's leg, sticking out of a bloody wood chipper?

I am Steve Buscemi's leg.

Life is kind of kicking my ass at the moment.

My last couple days of agility sort of worked as a metaphor for life. Running fast but sloppy and screwing up and mediocreness abounding then in the wrong goddamn end of the tunnel then getting the dogwalk contact yet flying off the teeter. Turning late. Pushing out not enough. Standing there watching the dog blow by the weaves and then sinking through a tiny gopher hole and coming out at a different freeway exit.

Bad handling and very little control.

Our class was full of champions last night. We congratulated the champs from Reno with Grand Marnier balls and beer then went back to the business of running courses. It was hard to run with one leg stuck in a woodchipper.

There is a trial coming up this weekend, I'll be there for one day out of the four. Better than nothing. But my brain is being extruded through the thing you squeeze the lime with to mix it into the margarita. So it might be hard to remember courses. Sort of like a mental cocktail woodchipper for the head. Also I almost got a puppy. But then I gave it to my friend. I really wanted him. He came from the side of the road. He is a good puppy with curious long legs and a little fox face and I will see him often and dream of the day when someday I could too, have a puppy.

Laura Hartwick, Captain

Many people around Santa Cruz know Laura as the lady with all those little black dogs. Many people know her as a horse trainer. Many people know her as the artist with the small brushes. Many people know her as that hoity graphic designer.
None of them would be wrong.
All the dogs of Team Small Dog, righteously awesome.
Laura Hartwick is usually a nice person. Except when she isn't. Be nice, don't bite, and run faster.