In the Tree House

These stories and experiences are meant to help people gain a little perspective on what's important to them in life, and not worry so much about what others are thinking or doing, but to focus on what's important in their life. These self-improvement posts are meant to bring a little humor, a smile, and the occassional tear (when needed).

Monday, February 12, 2018

It’s hard to put into words when you lose one of the great
loves of your life. It’s hard to breathe, it hurts to swallow, it’s hard to get
out of bed, and its hard to come home and continue through your normal everyday
routine of life.

Especially when that love was a four-legged fur ball filled
with an abundant amount of unconditional love. No matter how many times you
walked past him with your arms filled with groceries, or how many times you
were in a hurry to leave the house because you were late to get somewhere, or
how many times their slobber dripped on your favorite skirt and yougot upset; their tail continuously wagged,
their lips parted with their tongue hanging out as if they were constantly
smiling at you, waiting for you to pat them on the head and say “I love you”.

That kind of love isn’t found very often. We, as humans
worry every single day, about what we do, how we act, what we wear, and who we
talk to; just to be liked, just to be loved, and just to be accepted. But, our
dogs don’t care. Our dogs don’t care what type of handbag we carry, what
designer we are wearing, what street we live on, what size house we live in, or
what type of car we drive. All they care about is that you come home, you love
them, you don’t beat or hurt them, and that you give them a little bit of your
time, love and attention. That is all they need to know, that you are a good
and decent person.

Dogs are the best judges of character. I have been around
some wild and hyper dogs, and even some abused dogs, but they know, they sense
when you are a good person. And I don’t just mean the kind that will bend down
to pet them. I mean the kind of person that is good to the core; whatever that
canine sense is, they know when a person is good or bad, and it allows them to
calm down, or feel comfortable around that person.

One of my good friends sent me this poem, and I think it
perfectly sums up a dog’s life versus that of a human’s life:

The reason why dogs don’t live as long as people according to a 6-year-old:

“People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life. Like,
loving everybody all the time, and being nice. Well, dogs already know how to
do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

I don’t think I could have said it better myself. Dogs are perfect.
There is not one judgmental bone in their bodies. If we could all take a note
from dogs, and learn to love a little more unconditionally, fight a little less,
run a little more, and take a few more afternoon strolls…then I think there would
be a lot less abuse, a whole lot fewer divorces, and a lot less pettiness in
the world.

I understand the loss of a pet to most isn’t quite as traumatic
as the loss of a human family member. But when that pet was there for you at the
lowest point of your life, when that pet reminded you, you HAD to get out of
bed and function every day, and that pet reminded you that the evil that tore
you down and brought you to that horrible place in your life wasn’t worth the
tears you shed everyday…is like the loss of a human family member. Just because
they aren’t in our lives for 50, 60, or 70 years, doesn’t make them any less
important. So why are we expected to bounce back? Why are we expected to go to
work, or go to school the next day, as if nothing has happened? Where is our
bereavement time? Where is our time to mourn the loss of that wonderful
creature that stood beside us, and kept a smile on our face during our darkest
hours? Or our time to remember all the wonderful memories we shared over the
years?

Judgment, betrayal, anger, and war may be of human nature,
but when it comes to the canine world, there is nothing but licks, nudges, and
happiness. And there are some days that life in the canine world seems so much
sweeter.

Monday, February 5, 2018

I am so proud of myself! I finally didn’t complete
something. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I know
on the outside to some I am a complete mess (hummm hummm my parents). But those
people will remain nameless. But considering I work full time, raise three
boys, essentially on my own (with a husband who travels A LOT), I volunteer WAY
too much, and have dinner to get on, and a household to run…I think I do a
pretty good job. But yes, the inside of my car looks like a bomb went off, and
even though all the clothes in my laundry room are clean, they may not all be
put away in everyone’s closet, and yes there may be Legos all over my living
room floor. But one day, I know I will wake up and miss all of this – so they
say.

But I digress. Just the other day, my youngest had a
timeline project to do. And typically, I just dive right in there and help them
do it, for the sake of time, neatness, organization. Because, not judging by the
rest of my life or house, I do slightly verge on a minor case of OCD when it
come to projects, and crafts, and other things like that. I like organization.
The glue to be perfect. The lines to be straight. The colors to be the opposing
colors on the color wheel, you know weird OCD things like that.

But this time. I did very little on his project. I guess it
took old mom the third child to really release the reigns, and not do her first,
1st Grade project. And, fail as a parent! I am so proud of me for being
a failure. What I did do was help him come up with the idea. This little dude
loves trains, so we made his timeline on a train. I printed the pictures off
the computer, and I cut out the train cars. But my little man did everything
else.

He drew the train tracks, he drew the wheels, he glued
everything down, he wrote all the words; and even the sunshine in the sky was
his Memom that had gone to Heaven six years ago. And you know what? It was the
most gorgeous, most perfect 1st Grade project I had ever seen. I
made myself cook dinner the entire time he was working on it. I was so proud of
him. And better yet, he was so proud of himself. He had done everything on his
own.

Letting go is sometimes the hardest thing for a mommy to do,
in more ways than one. We know we eventually must do it. Whether it’s with
projects in the 1st Grade, summer camp, spend the nights with
friends, driving cars, dates, college, or just as adults in general. We hope we
have done a good job; and that they make good decisions in life and treat
others with respect. And deep down they have good souls. And want to work hard
and provide for their families and treat their loved ones with respect.

In fact, my little artist that created his timeline, is on
this major entrepreneurial kick right now. And about three weeks ago he and his
brother wanted a hot chocolate stand, so we set one up. They had so much fun.
We didn’t get that many customers and they were sorely disappointed. So, I had
to give them the “Steve Jobs” speech. The one where everyone in the world
thought these two guys were nuts for creating this thing called the “desktop
computer”. And trying to sell to everyone and thinking everyone would want one
in their household. And these two guys started this in their garage. But look
at them now. Perseverance.

But my two guys kept getting turned down, and cars kept
driving by them, but they kept at it. So just yesterday, he set out into our
neighborhood with his little backpack, a thermos of hot water, packets of hot
chocolate mix and cups to sell to our neighbors. It was the cutest thing I have
ever seen in my life. And this is my shy child-not at home, mind you, but
around new people, so this was huge. But I had to let him go. I had to let him
walk up to every house on his own (bare in mind I know all our neighbors – so I
knew he was safe), but I had to let my little one break out of his shell and
experience the fear of door-to-door sales and rejection all on his own. Even
though it broke my heart, everyone needs that experience.

But he did it. He got one sale, and lots of rejections. He
came home sad, but then ten minutes later, he wanted another go at it. So, you
see, as a mom we must let them fail to experience life sometimes. And that is
why we can’t make all their projects perfect according to our standards. Failure
is part of life. But us letting them fail, is also a part of our lives as
parents as well. Unfortunately we can’t put a band-aid on everything.

Monday, January 22, 2018

The older we get the more tarnished the face in the mirror
looking back at us becomes. Maybe because of age, because of choices it has made,
or because the eyes looking at it aren’t seeing as clearly as they once did.

On the literal side of the age factor and the eyes weakening;
that is just a fact of life and something we all must deal with. There will be
days we wake up and look at that reflection and go “Well, heck, not too bad
today old friend!” But, then there are days that we wake up and say, “Oh my,
maybe, we should just start over!”

Not too long ago I was watching an award show, and one of
the most gorgeous young actresses was walking the red carpet; with a stunning
gown on, and a gorgeous figure. But of course, the only facet of her entire
ensemble the media could focus on was the one blemish she had on her entire
face.

And we wonder why, as a society we have such self-esteem
issues. When one young actress, who is also a top model graces the red carpet,
has a single blemish on her face, and that is all the world can focus on.
Seriously? Maybe her hormones were acting up. Maybe she ate a piece of
chocolate the night before. Maybe she slept with her hand on her face and it
created to much oil on her skin. Who cares! She is a young gorgeous person. Let’s
talk about the person she is on the inside.

Is she kind? Did she kick a small child on her way into to
that red-carpet event? Did she help a kitten out of a burning building? Let’s
focus on who she really is, not the fact she has a blemish on her face.

But you know that reflection can go the other direction too.
You can have an attractive person and they can have perfectly clear skin, eat healthy,
workout, do everything right; and by all intended purposes, “appear” to be a
good, attractive person. But their soul has a track record that is never
ending.

But my favorite thing about those kind of people, are
typically they are the ones posting on social media that they don’t care what
people think; or people need to live their own lives; or live your life the way
you want.

How about just be a good person in general, make the right
decisions, don’t hurt other people, or don’t be ugly to others. And then that
way you don’t have to post quotes on social media justifying your actions or
decisions. Just do the right thing from the start, that way there is no reason
to be ashamed of that reflection staring back at you in the mirror.

So, either way, sometimes that reflection may get a little
older, or we may find a blemish or two on it; but it is what is on the inside
that counts. And if the outside is what matters the most to you, then maybe the
inside needs to have a little of its own “reflection” time.

About Me

This is a weekly blog from one mom's, working gal's and wife's light hearted point of view of how to survive life with a huge smile, a lot of laughs, and the occasional tear. But all in all it's a reminder of how not to take life to seriously, not to let the daily grind get you down, and how to just laugh at the situations in life that may make you want to pull your hair out.

Comments from Readers

Hope all is well with you. Had a chance today to read your piece"Column: To be B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L."

Thoroughly enjoyed it! You brought up some great points.

Comments from Readers

Fun with your Best Friend

Enjoyed your Commentary in yesterday's paper. You know, I am always commenting on how parents let their kids play with the toys in Wal-Mart. Now look who is playing.

Our eldest got married on Aug 31st. The one thing the preacher told them before he announced them to the world as man & wife, he said "don't ever let your marriage be boring". I appreciated him for that. The one thing we strive for in our 37 yrs of marriage is to never let the Honeymoon be over. That was our advice to our daughter as well. To have the preacher basically say the same thing that day was wonderful. Sounds like you two are anything but boring. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !

Sarah F.

Comments from Readers

Hi Samantha: This past week I visited Zula's

Cafe in Waxahachie. While there I picked up a local paper and read a fantastic article you wrote. I do not recall its title but I was very impressed by the topic. The general notion had to do with being polite to others and paying people compliments. You are so right. If more people felt like you, there would be less negativity in life.

Much luck and continued success.

Comments from Readers

20 Things I wish My Younger Self Knew

I always read your column but was late on this last one b/c I was out of town. Anyway, just wanted to say how much I really liked that one and read it to my daughters.

Nice!

Thanks.

Alexandra A.

Comments from Readers

I look forward to reading your articles each week. They are real life true stories that inspire, humor, touch, and sometimes sadden your readers. Your articles are wonderful. I really liked the dishonesty at the pump article about people scamming others. I also forwarded your tips to your three sons “In the Tree House: Things a Young Man Should Know (Via Mom)” to my daughter-in-law, the mother of three of my grandsons (ages 8, 6, and 1). The “No More Mondays” really made a person think. I laughed at the article you wrote about trying to travel with your three sons.

Please keep up the writing. You are truly using God’s gifts to touch others