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Y’all know that my sense of humor runs more in this direction than in the conventional one, so I’ll admit to chuckling through this story, in a can-you-believe-this-shit sort of way. Briefly: The State Bar of Michigan held a fiction contest, and awarded honorable mention to a story it later backtracked on and described as “embedded with racist cues,” if you can call the inclusion of an ebonics-speaking bad-guy character named Tyrone Washington a cue and not exactly racism.

The story — “Post-Conviction Relief” — centers around Jack Schoenherr, who’s described as a “soft-spoken and introverted Michigan attorney who had practiced almost exclusively in the area of criminal defense over the course of his twenty-two year legal career” and swore to uphold the state and U.S. constitutions.

Washington is convicted of shooting Caroline in “cold blood with a stolen revolver for no reason other than that he wanted to show off his ‘polar bear hunting skills’ to prospective candidates eager to join his gang.” Bristow described Washington as showing no remorse and even grinning and jeering as Schoenherr gave a victim-impact statement at sentencing.

After the trial, Schoenherr visits Washington in prison under the guise of being his attorney for the appeal. “’You mah appointed lawyer for da’ appeal?’ Tyrone asked,” Bristow writes.

Schoenherr lectures Washington about retributive justice while, “Tyrone drooled and snorted as he slouched further in his chair.” Schoenherr eventually kills Washington with a sharpened pen.

Truth be told, much of this tale was sort of scoff-worthy, including that the State Bar was even having a fiction contest in the first place. (My guess is we can lay this at the feet of John Grisham.) I also wonder if the judges, described as “volunteers on (the Bar’s) Publication and Website Advisory Committee,” had ever actually read a work of reputable fiction. And how dense does one have to be not to see the problem here, especially when you consider the story was eagerly accepted by a publication called the Occidental Observer, “which says in its mission statement that it presents ‘original content touching on the themes of white identity, white interests, and the culture of the West.’”

Punch line: The author, a Michigan State graduate, was president of the Young Americans for Freedom chapter there, and before his 30th birthday has a page in the Southern Poverty Law Center’s extremist files. He’s been (self-)published before. His first novel? Was called “White Apocalypse.” He also thinks revenge porn is a liberal plot against blonde white women.

No, it wasn’t a good week in post-racial America, was it? Ask the homeless man who got a beatdown from two apparent supporters of Team Trump. I’ll reserve final judgment on this one — it’s a little too perfect, detail-wise, up to and including the candidate’s description of his followers as “passionate.” But still.

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68 responses to “The slush pile.”

Dexter said on August 21, 2015 at 12:49 am

Not only is the pen mightier than the sword, the sharpened #2 pencil is too. My contribution isn’t funny, however, because it is true. Twenty-two years ago a truck brought the Detroit papers to my town, and I bought both every day. I remember a feature the Free Press did on child molesters of Michigan. One vignette told of a man who upon his release from a six-year stay for a crime against a child, bought a lotto ticket and won millions. The story focussed on how it was a crime itself that the state paid the felon his prize money. But sorry for this red herring, as the story that really was a grabber featured a man in his forties who had been convicted of child molestation and thrown into a two-man cell in a Lower Peninsula prison. His cellie was much younger, around twenty-two years of age, and in keeping with the prisoners’ code of “ethics”, he immediately took his new #2 pencil and stabbed the new fish about thirty-eight times as I recall, rendering a bloody dead corpse. And I remember thinking the bard had it slightly wrong…it sometimes was indeed a pencil that became mightier than the sword. Google is chock-full of pencil stabbings, but my story was so long ago I could not find it.

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Brandon said on August 21, 2015 at 1:07 am

Y’all know that my sense of humor runs more in this direction than in the conventional one…

That must be Uncle Fester.

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Sherri said on August 21, 2015 at 2:38 am

I see your State Bar of Michigan racist fiction story, and raise you a Romance Writers of American award nominee Nazi romance.

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Brandon said on August 21, 2015 at 3:24 am

Jezebel is giving the author and her book more publicity than they’d otherwise get.

This guy’s got Haley Barbour all up in his Tyrone. And even as phallocentric racist snuff fantasy goes, fuckmurdering the racial other with a pen is Dylan Roof grade juvenilia.

I give it two Hitlers.

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coozledad said on August 21, 2015 at 6:32 am

When you hear someone say we need to repeal the 14th amendment, you know you’re dealing with a lathermouthed racist hog. You should kick it in the balls.

You know, a lot of the gangs that you see — this doesn’t hopefully pertain to you guys so much,” Trump said in an interview with WAVH-FM. “When you look at Baltimore, when you look at Chicago, Ferguson a lot of these areas. You know, a lot of these gang members are illegal immigrants. They’re gonna be gone. We’re gonna get them out so fast, out of this country. So fast.

This is what it always comes down to with Republicans. Their ideological mates lost the Civil war and WWII, and they’ll never accept the verdict of either one without another ass-kicking.

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Deborah said on August 21, 2015 at 7:01 am

Sherri, my favorite line from your Nazi romance link was “… throw it all in the world’s worst blender and you get this book.”

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alex said on August 21, 2015 at 7:24 am

So Christians aren’t allowed to diddle themselves while looking at porn but it’s okay if they’re looking at dreck? The world never ceases to amaze.

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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on August 21, 2015 at 7:44 am

Christian dreck, Alex. If it’s Christian dreck. Or Amish Christian romances, which are fascinatingly popular in my church. That sub-genre is the most circulated category in our library. I could write a long tedious essay about why I think that is so, but for today I’ll just sigh.

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alex said on August 21, 2015 at 8:08 am

So you can have a Bacardi rumspringa with a little plough-sharing and animal wifery as long as it’s redeemed in the end with commitment to the church?

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beb said on August 21, 2015 at 8:09 am

The news anymore reminds me of Anna Russell’s explanation of Wagner’s Ring Cycle, where she interrupts herself to say, “I’m not making this up.” Some comedians are complaining that comedy is dead because people are so PC these days. You can’t make jokes about anything without offending somebody. I think the problem is that comedy can no long keep up with reality.

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Suzanne said on August 21, 2015 at 8:12 am

Totally agree, Jeff. I have friends who read Christian fiction, my mother loves the Amish books (which really ARE fiction-I live in an area populated with Amish & it ain’t all love, kindness, buggies, & bonnets), but the christian fiction I’ve read is awful, like bad middle school writer wannabe awful. I think it’s often tied to fear. People are scared to read anything that might challenge the view of the world that they want to see. With the few I’ve read, I guess I missed the message because I couldn’t get past the abysmal writing.

I’d read about the kerfuffle over this “award winning” novel in which the Jewish heroine converts and runs off with the Nazi. Not on my to read list.

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Deborah said on August 21, 2015 at 8:32 am

I was noodling around on Facebook in the insomniac wee hours one morning when I found out that my college room mate writes romance fiction. Her genre is western romance fiction, with lots of horses in the mix. Who knew there was such a thing?

“…the incidence of bestiality, especially in rural communities, is not as rare as most people assume.” That with my morning coffee means the day can only go upwards from here.

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Peter said on August 21, 2015 at 9:07 am

Ohhhhhhh……..WILBUR!!!!!

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Julie Robinson said on August 21, 2015 at 9:10 am

The continued popularity of romance novels never fails to amaze me. Our daughter went through an unfortunate Harlequin phase in middle school so I got a good exposure to them. It really tested my vow to never limit what the kids read and I was so happy when repeated attempts to introduce other genres were finally successful.

Short Eyes Fogle better hope his roommate doesn’t have a pencil.

Hope the party goes well, Nance!

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Jeff Borden said on August 21, 2015 at 9:27 am

One of the special joys of living in Chicago is being held up to the nation by right-wing gun worshippers as a lawless hellhole where citizens denied their right to keep and bear arms are slaughtered by the hundreds by roving gangs of immigrant thugs and homegrown black murderers. Trump is only the latest douche to dip into that rancid pool of bullshit.

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Bitter Scribe said on August 21, 2015 at 10:19 am

The author is now complaining about “political correctness.” What a surprise.

I hope for the sake of his clients, if he has any, that he practices law better than he writes dialect.

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Heather said on August 21, 2015 at 10:32 am

When I was in college at Northwestern in the late 80s/early 90s, I took a sociology course with the late Dwight Conquergood (what an awesome name). Professor Conquergood got to know young gang members in the Albany Park neighborhood of Chicago, going so far as to live in a run-down apartment building in the neighborhood. He clearly outlined the appeal of a gang to young people with seriously limited resources: broken families, dangerous streets, bad schools, no hope of a good job. It was fascinating, but also fascinating in how it mesmerized his audience, mainly white, well-to-do, very sheltered young adults. I’ve never forgotten it.

And now I live in that neighborhood. While it’s improved, the gangs are still around and killing people. No surprise to anyone here, most of the members are American-born as these gangs have been around for decades and are passed down. And we’re no closer to fixing the reasons people join them as long as we blame outside influences like “immigrants and thugs.”

Too bad we can’t force Trump et al to watch it, but it would never get past their blinders anyway.

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brian stouder said on August 21, 2015 at 10:36 am

Well, if there is such-a-thing as “political correctness”, it’s a universal impulse.

If you’re a “conservative” (what are they “conserving”?), then the PC liturgy you must automatically perform includes mindless rejection of anything you can put the prefix “Obama-” onto; and you must be fixated on ‘Benghazi’; and you must immediately adopt whatever today’s password is, regarding Hillary’s email; and you must treat the US military as God His-Own-Self.

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Sue said on August 21, 2015 at 10:47 am

Did anyone note the English translation of the guy’s last name? Loosely, ‘beautiful man’.

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Sue said on August 21, 2015 at 10:55 am

I clicked on the article, saw the photo and thought “wow, Josh Duggar’s an attorney?”.

Sue, according to the SPLC’s page about the author’s background, he grew up in Clinton Township. There is a road there called Schoenherr, so he probably got the name from that. It’s very Teutonic sounding, which can’t be a coincidence.

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brian stouder said on August 21, 2015 at 12:01 pm

Well, after a summer that included some genuinely marvelously good stuff (our 17 year old’s week in Guatemala), and some astonishingly NOT-good stuff (the car fire, the house catastrophe, and the transmission failure in our newest vehicle), we are – as of last night – back in our house (after about 7 weeks !!

Woo-Hoo!!

PS – and indeed, the house is vastly improved from what it was, pre-disaster, chiefly owing to new flooring throughout, fresh paint stem-to-stern, and new room and closet doors throughout. It is a very great relief to be home again

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Bob (not Greene) said on August 21, 2015 at 12:28 pm

Brian, glad to hear you are back home and ready to put this summer’s travails behind. I was just scrolling through my Dropbox account when I came across a folder called “Brian’s car” and wondered what the heck it was. When I opened it and saw a burned out car I remembered! Time for all the karma to even out, I’d say.

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LAMary said on August 21, 2015 at 12:34 pm

Congratulations on going home, Brian. It must be a relief.
Beb, thank you for reminding me of Anna Russel’s explanation of the Ring Cycle. What a wonderful thing that is.

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Dorothy said on August 21, 2015 at 2:01 pm

I’m so glad for you and your family, Brian!! That’s a great way to start a weekend.

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brian stouder said on August 21, 2015 at 2:13 pm

Pam has essentially had a fulltime job the past 7 weeks – literally from the first moment we walked into the house and found all the spewing water.

She’s been in constant contact (whether consultation, confirmation, co-ordination, or [rarely] castigation) with an array of construction contractors and insurance adjusters, all the while compiling and updating spread-sheets and supporting photos and receipts.

In short, I married up.

(way, way up!)

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Jeff Borden said on August 21, 2015 at 2:32 pm

Brian, most of us guys married up.

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Dexter said on August 21, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Good-bye Residence Inn, hello south side of the fort. Have a nice home cooked meal, Brian. Even if it would just be iceberg lettuce with bleu cheese and a can-o’-beans it will taste like a banquet.

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Colleen said on August 21, 2015 at 3:33 pm

Congrats on getting back in the house, Brian! Amazing what damage water can do. But yay for the eventual upgrades….

I think I might miss the occasional, window rattling, bone jarring direct fly-over of the Samaritan helicopter; or the Death Race 2000 antics on in-bound Jefferson Boulevard; or turning our 17 year old and our 20 year old loose on said roadway….

So happy for you Brian. Pam sounds like a gem. Have a wonderful weekend in your home sweet home.

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Deborah said on August 21, 2015 at 7:04 pm

In a weird way there’s something about Jonathan Franzen that reminds me of my ex. I have thoroughly enjoyed the Franzen books that I’ve read (which I honestly think is all of them) but Franzen the person seems like a bit of a jerk.

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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on August 21, 2015 at 7:45 pm

It’s appalling how much my wife has had to carry me through the last thirty years. But I’m am glad there’s at least one grown-up in this relationship. And one person who can do math. Apparently if I take out the trash, change lightbulbs, and keep our yard from looking like the veldt, I can stay, but she’s got the worse of the deal.

Grace and peace to Pam, and blessings on your return home.

It has been twelve days since I talked to someone who said “Trump’s got a point, you know.”

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Deborah said on August 21, 2015 at 8:17 pm

My husband does the math in our relationship, for his undergrad degree at the U of Illinois he majored in theoretical math, whatever that is. All I know is he thankfully does our finances and helps me out from time to time on projects where I need to know the hypotenuse, or perimeter etc. In my job it was embarrassing how often I had to consult with him about that.

I definitely married “down” the first time as I married a 19 year-old blonde beauty whom, as I politely say, wasn’t ready for marriage as she wasn’t “done” yet.
After a few years I married “up”, or as I and my pals say, “married way over my head.” My god, we’ve been together forty years now and married 38 of those years come Wednesday next. Tomorrow our daughter turns 47 years old. Math off? I’ve been “Dad” to her since 1977 so we abandoned the “step child” clarification many years ago. By the way, my wife has never had one good word to say about her ex, ever. They must have been miserable together. They moved from Battle Creek to Long Beach, California nearly 47 years ago, driving in a car. I bet they were screaming at each other all the way across the nation. Now I have her, and in three weeks she goes to Cleveland Clinic for total knee replacement. Gettin’ old…and like automobiles, when we get old we need new parts…like my new-old van I bought a couple weeks ago. I had it inspected and repaired by a local mechanic. The bill was 95% of what I paid for the van. It still needs rear shocks in a couple months

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Sherri said on August 22, 2015 at 2:56 am

The wildfires in the West are really terrible right now. This past week, three firefighters were killed in Washington after being overtaken by the wildfire they had been fighting. One of the three, Tom Zbyszewski, would have been returning to Whitman College next week to begin his junior year as a physics major. My daughter will begin her junior year at Whitman next week, so this loss hits a little closer to home.

Sue, I think that’s a Trump inspired dog-whistle lovingly placed by the Journal-Sentinel. Since Trump’s schtick of slamming other Rs seems to be working, Walker is trying to plug into that too.

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Connie said on August 22, 2015 at 8:56 am

I am following the WSFS Sasquan – worldcon, the big scifi con, in Spokane this weekend. Hugo awards tonight. While Spokane is safely away from the fires, the air there is affected and people are commenting on issues with red eyes and breathing. The Sspokane sky is a strange color. For pics twitter sasquan.

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Deborah said on August 22, 2015 at 10:07 am

Sad story Sherri. This year we had fewer fires in NM, probably because of all the rain. I have had irritated eyes from the smoke of fires near Santa Fe and Abiquiu. Actually, not near enough to be a threat but smoke travels far.

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brian stouder said on August 22, 2015 at 11:11 am

Dexter, happy anniversary and congratulations!

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Jolene said on August 22, 2015 at 11:21 am

Have been following news of the fires. Heard that, in addition to using the National Guard and some active-duty military personnel, they are flying in firefighters from Canada, New Zealand, and Australia, as well as recruiting community volunteers. Sounds pretty desperate.

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beb said on August 22, 2015 at 11:42 am

36 years last Tuesday for us. I think all this talk about whether one has married “up” or “down” comes down to whether the one spouse appreciates the other. Those who say they’ve married up appreciate their significant other every day of their marriage and realize how much better their live has been for being together. And that is key to along marriage.

The death of the 20 year old fire-fighter is very sad. In the past I’ve read the forest fire-fighters are poorly supported in terms of health benefits. If it were up to me they would have Cadillac level health insurance and immediate access to life-time disability (if injured). What is so important and so dangerous they deserve that.

And a shout-out to the Marine Corp. whose two members brought that mad man shooting up a train yesterday in Europe. It wasn’t their mission but they did it anyway.

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Heather said on August 22, 2015 at 1:00 pm

These long-term marriage/relationship stories are very inspiring. I went through a horrible break-up last fall and it forced me to totally reevaluate the way I look at love and relationships and all that. No easy task in your mid-40s! I’m still in the midst of it, but these stories are comforting when you’re dealing with picking your way through the modern dating landscape.

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Kirk said on August 22, 2015 at 2:06 pm

My wife and I will mark 28 years of legal status on Friday (we hit 32 years together at the end of May).

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Jolene said on August 22, 2015 at 2:50 pm

beb, the firefighter health insurance problem was solved, at least for those who work for the U.S. Forest Service. They had been prohibited from buying insurance like other federal employees because they were part-time, but Obama issued a regulation making them eligible. Happened to remember hearing about this a few years back.

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Sue said on August 22, 2015 at 5:32 pm

susan: Exactly. Pass the popcorn. Scott Walker just put his R friends in the legislature in the position of having to say ‘Wait a minute, I’m just as responsible for what happened as you are! Only you got to use your secret bat-tunnel to get in and out of your office, while we had to listen to citizens yelling “shame” at us! Yes, we are all a part of Big and Bold just like you, so when a local trout stream is sold, or a school can’t find teachers or pay them, or a well is full of runoff crap and owners have no recourse, that’s us too! And don’t you forget it, Scott!
David C, I think you’re right. There is some guidance and messaging I think when some stories run and others don’t. This time it might have backfired, since it (should) have the effect of pointing out that these guys are all together in the boat and paddling as hard as they can to find out what that interesting sound of rushing water is ahead.

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Jolene said on August 22, 2015 at 5:56 pm

It may be that the one good thing Donald Trump has accomplished so far is denying air time to Walker, prompting him to make more and more ridiculous statements.

This article gives a good feel for what these horrendous fires are like in north central Washington. And here is a map of what’s going on. And an animated depiction of the fires, as of this morning.

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Dexter said on August 23, 2015 at 1:03 am

Another tidbit from left field: The History Channel is featuring a series about the Hell’s Angels. I happened upon it last night with no intention of watching more than two minutes, but it was so hypnotizing I had to alertly keep my eyeballs glued to the TV screen. This first episode re-hashes the old story of why and how outlaw motorcycle clubs formed after World War II and sort of gives an outline of how the clubs operated fifty years ago and onward. I cannot imagine how they will fill the remaining episodes, but keep a hold of your ape hangers. http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads13/hellride+firstlook+031219923381.jpg OnDemand at Time Warner Cable.

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Deborah said on August 23, 2015 at 12:37 pm

This is weird, on Little Bird’s weather app they have issued a warning for poor air quality in Northern NM resulting from the fires in the northwestern states. That’s amazing that it would reach all the way down here. They recommend people not spend lots of time outside. It’s cloudy today and that is exacerbating the problem.

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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on August 23, 2015 at 3:12 pm

If y’all want some schadenfreude, check out the comments on this link — something I would normally not recommend to anyone. But if you’re looking for a peek into the boiler room of the USS GOP, which is both on fire AND filling with water, this will do it.

Will is necessarily right about the unfeasibility, socially, morally, and indeed practically as to deporting “them all,” but the depth of nativist sentiment around Mexican immigrants is (stupidly) shocking to me. I’m running into African American colleagues and community leaders who are quite progressive on many counts who are speaking warmly about Trump, old line union folk at church are quick to defend The Donald while almost as quickly denying they are “supporters” . . . yet, and all many of conservatives, social, fiscal, or even more libertarian of outlook who are chiming in with “but Trump has a point, you know.”

Hispanics generally and Mexicans in particular are getting loaded down with thirty years and more of frustration & anxiety about job losses overseas, plants moving to just over the border, middle class job implosions, and the backhanded slap of income inequality as seen from below. There’s little willingness to blame the upper echelons of business or government other than in a quick symbolic nod of derision, but a ton of intensity on shifting the blame for all of that onto “a tidal wave of illegals.”

I tell my stories, I preach my sermons, I make my case for who the migrants are and what it means to regard the stranger and the sojourner differently than the widows and orphans, but I detect more than a bit of indifferent indulgence out in the pews and around the narthex after worship. “Yeah, he’s gotta say that, but really . . .”

Not liking where this is going one bit. And I’m not hearing a solid counterbalance from Hillary or Bernie to leverage a response or to sway the moderate liberals who are (at least in my neck of the woods) the decisive swing bloc in public opinion. Joe, you can come in anytime if you can bring Elizabeth with you and make a case for the American Experience writ large.

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brian stouder said on August 23, 2015 at 3:27 pm

Without any ‘stretching’ at all – if we seriously implemented Trump’s stated “policy” and pursued Trump’s stated goals, we would have to conduct nothing short of genocide.

The cascade of atrocities occasioned by a massive “removal”* policy, coupled with a massive physical wall, cannot be less than a concrete certainty.

How many dead people and glassy-eyed young orphans would we need to see? And I will not grant Trump one scintilla of poetic license or “that’s not our plan” elbow room. He is openly, brazenly, and (relatively) successfully playing a massive race card, and he is openly offering a “final solution”

*Look up the Indian Removal Act of the early 19th century. ‘Course, there was no 14th Amendment when Andy Jackson was president, and those injuns had it comin’, right?

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susan said on August 23, 2015 at 3:37 pm

What Trump is doing is bringing to the fore the historical American racist id, and make it seem OK. How about this one?

‘…[O]thers said they had plenty of advice for the man they regularly identified in conversation as “Mr. Trump.”

“Hopefully, he’s going to sit there and say, ‘When I become elected president, what we’re going to do is we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you $25 for a permit, and then you get $50 for every confirmed kill,’ ” said Jim Sherota, 53, who works for a landscaping company. “That’d be one nice thing.”’

Amurkkka, fu*kkk yeah.

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Deborah said on August 23, 2015 at 4:01 pm

I’m back from the Indigenous Persons Market, formerly known as the Indian Market. I go for the roasted corn, heavily buttered with salt, parmesan and a touch of chili powder. This year I saw two different lost children, I’d say 3 yrs old maybe 4. Both kids were crying hysterically, it was quite upsetting. There were many kind people trying to help. I can’t imagine what the parents must have been thinking. It’s a very popular event with hordes of people everywhere. As I’ve said before except for the native artists it’s mostly old white Texans wearing tons of turquoise and silver jewelry.

Deborah, the parents were probably petty hysterical themselves. Some children are escape artists. My younger brother was one of them. Mom would turn her back for a second and he was gone. Jim was never hysterical though. He couldn’t verbalize it but, I’m sure, his attitude was “I knew where I was”.

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Suzanne said on August 23, 2015 at 4:37 pm

George Will is even dissing Trump which means there is much worry. The beast of their creation has been unleashed and people like Will are smart enough to understand he will destroy everything in his path including them if he gets half a chance.

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Deborah said on August 23, 2015 at 7:00 pm

David C, yes that’s what I meant about what must the parents have been thinking, to turn around and realize your kid was missing in that crowd must have been horrifying for them.

Little Bird has made another amazing meal for us this evening. On Tuesday we both fly out of this gorgeous place with fantastic weather and go to the midwest for awhile. One of her friends is going to look after our plants while we’re gone. We’ve been working like crazy to get a bunch of stuff done before we go. We’re both pretty sore from all of the physical labor involved.