Farmer Successfully Beats ‘The Gay’ Out Of His Son

Last week, Brody McDonald an Albertan farmer, successfully beat ‘the gay’ out of his young son, Jamie. When Jaime came home smelling suspiciously like perfume and with a dainty sway in his step, Brody knew exactly what to do.

“I bin to some of them Church things, and knew they have camps for troubled Homosexualer kids. But Goddammit, I ain’t got the money fer that.”

After beating his son, like the ‘devil himself’, Brody was proud to announce to his relieved peers, that he had beaten ‘the gay’ out of him. Jaimie has reportedly ditched his perfumes, stopped hanging out with his pretty boy friends and started walking with a more manly gait.

“Now, Jaime spends most of his time alone, hiding his feelings like a man and getting to his chores. Like a good, normal boy.”

Brody McDonald’s case is the first documented version of a homosexual being cured and it has set off a firestorm of debate across academic circles.

Christian ‘Cure’ Camps have began exploring corporeal punishment, and several distinguished scientists who had previously maintained that homosexuality was genetic, have been disgraced.

The Lapine is unsurprised to find the Canadian province of Alberta at the forefront of social progress. Stephen Harper must be proud.

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The Lapine is Canada's Best Satirical Online Newspaper. It satirizes politics, life, media and the human condition, with a special focus on Canada.
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