Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Here's an exchange I actually witnessed on the subway one Halloween:
"What's your costume?"
"I'm a French peasant."
"Oh, French! My friend and I were going to have someone else joining us tonight and she was going to go as a croissant. But she flaked out on us."

Giving a croissant is odd.
Giving a doughnut guarantees police protection.
Giving a fried chicken corsage invites attack by stray dogs.
Give a kale corsage and all guarantees are null and void along with any decent chance to make it home undamaged.