This is Keith. I have no idea who he is. He didn’t even have a commenter name until this week but he was enthusiastic as fuck about doing COTW.

KFC Editors Note: This is Keith. I have no idea who he is. He didn’t even have a commenter name until this week but he was enthusiastic as fuck about doing COTW. I mean he’s emailed me off the hook like 50 times asking about. Its by far the longest comments of the week of all time. I’m not even sure he picked out the best ones, I think he just re-listed all of the comments. But I figured hey, its just more material for the Cube Monkeys to kill time on Friday afternoon…Comments of the Week, presented by Mullet Keith:

These comments are taken from Last Friday’s blogs to yesterday’s blogs. I read every single comment made on the New York site. If you didn’t make it on here, you’re not funny. I have all the comments in categories of things you guys talked about this week. Without any further introduction here are the comments of the week from July 19 – July 25:

Best Racist Comments: Everyone loves racist jokes and the stool always has them. So that’s what we’re starting with.

Blog: Coach Stabbed in the Back of the Neck by Man Looking For Exes New BF

Comment: This is NOT a good year for the last name Hernandez. But then again, I don’t think any year is good for that last name -scoopcity17

I don’t have anything to add here. There is very little good news ever for the last name Hernandez.

Comment: Wish I was rich I would just buy hookers and drugs every day - Jaybone

I’ve never agreed with a statement more in my entire life.

Blog: Caption Contest 89

Comment: So I’m sitting here minding my own business looking at pictures of a dog sniffing a dime piece’s asshole and the office hottie walks past me. She looks at my computer and I’m expecting to get yelled at for objectifying women or some shit and instead she says “oh my god I love barstool.” I think I’m in love. - Tummystixx

You guys should hook up and become barstools fucked up version of Pam and Jim from the office.

Blog: Tyson Chandler Skipped Leg Day at the Gym

Comment: Bol can tie his dick in a knot according to Michael Jordan - Drewwagg1

Just picture Michael Jordan telling a story about Manute Bol tying his dick in a knot, and try not laughing

Blog: Investment Banker Jumps Out of His 7th Story Window

Comment: “You show up to work 45 minutes late today, which happens to be the second time this month by the way, and the first thing you do is check Barstool? Seriously?” –My boss. Happy Monday, fellas. - Little birdie

You couldn’t describe the struggle in the cube world any better than this.

Best Wife/Gf/Kid/Life Hate Comments: This section is the best comments for those of you who talk about how much you hate your wives, kids, or life in general now. Sometimes they’re mildly depressing, but usually hilarious.

Comment: The miracle was this kid was mute for 3 years. The cream cheese just ruined a good thing for the parents. - Uncle phil

100% Accurate. These parents are going to be begging for their days of peace and silence back.

Blog: Husband Leaves Divorce Note For Wife After The Most Disrespectful Oreo Behavior

Comment: Boy it’s a shame you need to marry someone before actually getting to know their true colors. This poor guy married a monster. - Little birdie

This is more about the guy in the blog than the commenter. The fact remains eating just the cream from an oreo and leaving the chocolate cookies behind is the most disrespectful disgusting thing your wife could ever do to you. Only thing that’s close to as bad is if she spits after giving a blowjob. And if you knew she did either beforehand you should have NEVER married her.

Blog: Dude Facing Rape Charge Uses the Old If I Needed Sex I Would Have Got a Fat Girl Defense

Comment: My wife is fat. She didn’t use to be, but now she is. It makes me sad-that is all - Shermfloaters

This guy is just coming to terms with how life is now. The glory days are gone.

Blog: Scientists Say Human Happiness Peaks at Ages 23 and 69

Comment: At 22 I was spending as much time as possible at the beach, had two girls I was banging on the reg, smoked copious amounts of wee, drank 5-6 nights a week without a massive hangover, and was in the best shape of my life. Soon after turning 23 I had my first daughter. The lesson? Life peaked at 22 and always wear a rubber. Always. - Tdub4202

This is a PSA to everyone

Blog: Adam Levine Told Nina Agdal He Was Engaged Via Text Message

Comment: I watch the voice cause my girl is so turned on by him I get head without asking after - Stooliebillsfan

This was the nicest thing anyone had to say about their wife or girlfriend all week.

Best Comments Making Fun of KFC

There’s always a lot of these but not many very good ones.

Blog: Mike Tyson says He Couldn’t Beat Glass Joe in Punch Out

Comment: Losing to glass Joe is the equivalent of losing to you in anything sports related - Buddyandstudd

You guys are always saying the same bullshit about re-blogs, at least do it differently.

Best Comments About Sex: This section is all of your best comments involving sex. Whether it’s a story, joke, random, or hypothetical if it involves vaginas tits or dicks it’s all here. This is obviously the most popular category among the stoolie commenters.

KFC…either do these yourself or have Imtough write them up…they all fucking suck and somehow Imtough spits fire when he does them….your job is to sit on your ass and blog (and somehow land a smoke…respect). Dont mail it in early on the rest of us

@KFC, you can’t just give this responsibility to any Tom, Dick or Harry that wants to promote his Twitter account, for fuck’s sake! Are there no more true Stoolies stepping up to the plate or what? Answer me…

missed the hump day comment. completely unrelated to the post but flat out hilarious…..”What pisses me off about the hump day camel is that those rude fuckers in his office wont even answer him. They act like they’re all exasperated with him when all he did was just ask a simple question. It’s his time of the week to shine and you’re gonna fucking ignore him?! If I had a talking camel at work, first thing I’d do Wed morning is give him a hump bump and tell him “Hump day, motherfucker… do your thing”. I hope he shits in their faces. Those people ignoring him are probably the first to cry when someone forgets their birthday”

@KFC, you should probably just do a “Best of @gunnartstahl” web log, which icludes your favorite @gunnarstahl highlights from the comment section, along with your favorite face-sitting pics, vines, gifs, etc. Finally, at the bottom, all of the Barstool staff would have a picture of their sweet sweet asscheeks and the Stoolies can vote for the creamiest

Imtough = Commander of the elite inner circle of BSS commenters. If you put your ear to the keyboard you can actually hear him swallowing Kevin’s load. Just wrote easily 19 comments directed at him, 0 responses.

Ok Kevin, your experiment worked, we ripped you for every COTW you did so you decided on the ol “let me see you do better”…you were right, you do a better job. So start doing them again….or stop being a lazy fuck about the great idea you came up with that you don’t want to do anymore on a Friday afternoon

This COTW is the pussification of America at it’s finest. Jesus Christ, did everyone win this week? Keith strikes me as the type of guy that takes 45 minutes to decide which pair of socks to wear. Narrow the list down and pick 5 for Christ’s sake. You’re not buying a car here.

About time my straight heat got some recognition, granted it was my lamest joke all week, but thanks anyways keith.

P.s @KFC my transmission blew on the freeway last night, no car = weed and sifting through comments for the next 2 weeks, hit me up bro for COTW i got this (ill give you my NSFW archive) unless your a gayball

Animalman, you can keep trashing me bro. Ur still like my 3rd favorite commenter. Imtough, the world needs your faggot ass in twitter. Would love to destroy you on a daily basis. I dont have time to be reading ur bullshit on evry blog. Make a twitter account you pussy.

I legit think KFC was scared for his life to not let this dude do it. Look at the guy, Jesus. Anyway, good effort keith. Anyone that doesnt like commenters doing this is a miserable prick, that most likely is jealous that they will never be asked to do it. Again, Keith, no one gives a shit why you thought it was funny. But still a good job.