6/12/13

Family lore maintains that the ball hit me on the head. And I’ll concede that
getting walloped thus by a baseball could cloud one’s memory, but I still
insist this is not what happened. The ball bounced off my glove. And this was
because at that tender age, catching a speeding baseball with my fragile, preschool
hands was somewhat painful. And I had learned to avoid pain.

6/5/13

As someone who’s worked with the public for decades, I’ve concluded that
being a “people person” is more a matter of solemn duty than actual love of
one’s fellow man. I consider the ability to behave respectfully towards talkative
patrons rather than killing them a practiced art, like sharpshooting or making
pancakes in the shape of ducks. It’s a talent that could be considered a
calling. I know that for me there is no burning desire to absorb the time-wasting
blather of others. I’d rather be home watching “Pimp My Desperate Housewife”
like everyone else.

Who's Responsible for This?!

is an illustrator and opinionated crank living in the bygone century known as South Carolina. His wide variety of neurotic quirks and extreme sensitivity to broad social trends are chronicled as The Symptoms, a continuing blog of sophisticated tantrums. Ashley's work has appeared in many defunct publications and hard-to-sell books. He is considered a complete failure by those envious of his genius. He has a website for some reason: www.ashleyholt.com