For as long as I can recall I have struggled with the fear of rejection and the fear of failure. Though I’ve made progress, the battle continues.

Maybe you struggle with those fears too.

There are many things I try to elevate up my sense of self worth including personal happiness, hearty laughter at home, healthy friendships and professional success, but nothing seems to have lasting impact.

I have loving family members, caring friends, wise mentors, learned teachers, honorable leaders, truth-telling pastors, life-coaches and counselors, and a pile of good books, but it’s still not enough.

If you asked me if I struggled with anxiety, most days I would say “no.” If you asked me if I was listening to myself enough to know, I’d probably shrug my shoulders. Usually self-reflection takes a back-seat to busyness.

The Burden & Blessing of Busyness

On Wednesday TreeHouse (my employer) committed a day to “fasting and prayer.” My busyness was set aside. 1

My tendency to be a busyness-burdened workaholic comes from a mashup of my strengths and my fears. According to “Strengths Finder” my strengths (#2-5) include Activator, Learner, Ideation, and Achiever. I like to learn, think through what I’ve learned and put what I’m learning to use, but the fear of rejection cries out “You’re stupid and lazy”; it’s subtle, but it’s relentless.

Drew Brees had been unemployed, experienced a career-threatening injury, and was filled with self-doubt. Sundays he’s an NFL football player. Here are the insights he gained. 1

Perspective

“From my perspective, it’s when the rug gets pulled out from under you that you really find your calling in life. Those defining moments don’t have to be tragedies. When they’re viewed through the lens of God’s plans, they can be ‘points of purpose’ in your life.”

Growing up in Chicago on Sunday afternoons I was introduced to the Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce series of Sherlock Holmes films.

– I loved their compassion. – I loved their pursuit of justice. – I loved their witty banter. – I loved their moral high-ground. – I loved their community involvement. – I loved they solved challenging mysteries. – I loved their intellect and deductive analysis. – I loved Holmes patience with Watson his intelligent but intellectually inferior partner. – I loved the humanity Watson brought the to the too-often cerebral Holmes. – I loved that Holmes knew and admitted he needed his friend Watson to ground him.

Some people like “bad guys.” I might admire their intellect, courage, determination, creativity or leadership, but I never liked “bad guys.” So when people tell me that they love a “bad guy” I’m a little perplexed. One of the favorite “bad guys” is the sociopath adversary “The Joker.”

This series of pages from Batman: The Killing Joke. This comic was written by Alan Moore with art by Brian Bolland and John Higgins. Batman: The Killing Joke, illustrates why I love heroes instead of villains.

Though The Joker was a murdering killer Batman still saw some virtue in him.

Wright explains, “we cannot and must not go on to assume or affirm is that the actual people who suffer the effects of natural events like earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, hurricanes, floods, and so on … are worse sinners, and therefore stand more under God’s judgment, than those who are fortunate enough to live somewhere else than where the disaster struck.

The other night my wife, my daughter and I watched the movie “The Help.” As the movie ended the tears continued. My heart was breaking for men, women and children entrenched in overt and covert human trafficking.

I remembered why I pray: Because I am desperate for a power greater than my own to do that which I cannot.

Josh Groban’s song The Prayer is one such prayer. He begins: 1

I pray you’ll be our eyes And watch us where we go And help us to be wise In times when we don’t know

Whether you’re a parent, a brother or sister, an aunt, uncle or neighbor, you know children. And, if you’re like me, quiet children can be a mystery.

Today, I’d like to let Susan Cain’s insights on introvert children speak for themselves. Oh, wait – let me say this first – my favorite quote from her about children is: “Don’t just accept your child for who she is; treasure her.”