01 September 2009

Today's word is last

Thanks to Shayne Zucker for the definition above, duly added to the dictionary with a faint whiff of “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that” (and I hope you don’t mind me adding the second line, Shayne, to make it into a full definition). I just loved its simple nastiness. Not that picking a winner was an easy task – there were many, many funny suggestions and I recommend checking them all out via the original post’s comments if you haven’t already.

A couple of other entries that particularly tickled me came from bkgk – “Ms. Rita’s meat innuendos make Robby uncomfortable. They make him ill at ease. He wishes Dad’s new girlfriend would shop with another grocer” (gotta love the bleak family background of that one) and jer – “Norma wore her favourite green coat on her twentieth trip to the store that day to buy a steak. The Alzheimer’s was getting worse”.

I especially liked the ones that played with the definitions concept, like josephalford’s “Daddy supplied the meat. The meat is made from Daddy” and callisto’s “Meat is anonymous. It cannot be identified. Once it is cut into steaks, you can’t tell who it used to be”. Sara gets a gold star for suggesting the ultimate fate of poor Carol Ann, while little gator managed to imply that the butcher’s bounty had something to do with my own disappearance.

Of course, you can’t go wrong at MFD by being as tasteless as possible, so special mention also goes to Oswald Bastable’s “The meat is nutritious. Alice has extremely heavy periods and needs nutritious meat for her blood loss”, along with Barley’s “For Susan, the steak is complimentary. She does not have to pay for it. Mike thinks it is the least he can do after demanding the abortion”.

Finally, a dose of gratuitous pessimism always cheers me up, so thanks to everyone who imagined a world of pain behind that little picture, including Philip robbins: “Meat is good for soothing bruises. Jenny is buying meat to put on her black eye because she didn’t listen to her husband the first time”; Kimber: “Mrs. Thompson is hungry. She and her children will be hungrier still tonight, because she has no money to buy the food”; and DJ: “As Alice runs her daily errands, she can't help wondering what would have happened if she had stayed at the lesbian commune in Camden instead of marrying Philip”.

And thanks to everyone who took the trouble to think of a caption. Except the crap ones. You know who you are. Hopefully.