I wasn’t prepared for that question.

Yeah, I had to have an ultrasound today on the third day of my cycle. Ladies, you can relate as to how gross this can be.

It wasn’t the thought of being naked, unprotected, while bleeding that made me nauseous this morning before the appointment. No one had checked out my ovaries this early in my cycle, and if Dr. Q found something he wasn’t crazy about, no injectibles this cycle.

My body picked up on my unease and cut out the bleeding significantly during the ultrasound, which was pretty awesome. Dr. Q, who I may have mentioned is a little too liberal with his use of the ultrasound wand, assumed the position and gazed at the ultrasound monitor. “So what’s going on here?” he asked. I reminded him that we’re checking the ovaries to get the medicine prescription correct. He moved the wand around and said, “Oh, you have beautiful ovaries.” I cried. I’m a chump.

Once he removed the wand and allowed me to sit up, he asked us casually, “So how many eggs should I shoot for here?” I thought as the fertility specialist, it was up to him to let us know how many eggs would be good for us. Nope. He wanted us to make the call. The wife looked at me and I looked her and we shrugged…

“Um… how many is normal?”

Dr. Q: “I can do whatever you want… if you tell me 8, I might say no, but it’s really up to you, your faith, your beliefs… because there is a chance that all of them will take.”

Swashbuckler and I have already had the conversation about selective reduction. Dr. Q assured us that while it’s definitely a possibility that more than 2 eggs will turn into a viable pregnancy, it’s a remote possibility. I have it in my head that I would be overjoyed with twins, and I would be terrified at triplets or above. And it’s not because we can’t take care of that many children, although that’s a very valid argument. I feel like I would be putting all of the babies at risk by trying to carry more than two. I would also be putting myself at risk, which isn’t fair to the children or my partner. While the thought of terminating one or more of the pregnancies is devastating to me, the urge to have a family is much stronger, so I want the best chance possible without being irresponsible.

One response to “I wasn’t prepared for that question.”

Nobody other than my mom has ever actually asked me, “how many eggs do you want me to make?”. That day was very much a strange day. You DO have beautiful ovaries, I’ve been singing THAT tune for years now. I’m glad someone else has finally caught on.