Comments for Incertus – Living With OCDhttp://www.incertus.imntb.com
Personal stories from people living with Obsessive-Compulsive DisorderTue, 14 Mar 2017 10:47:33 +0000hourly1Comment on Alison’s Story by Chrishttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-15069
Tue, 14 Mar 2017 10:47:33 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-15069Hi never realised people are going through this to! I’ve had OCD since I was 4 I’m 35 now and my life is like hell! My hiv fear started when young when someone cut themselves on me but it’s gone up a next level since I was 31! I slept with someone and caught a std! Since that I would go for a test every few weeks I’ve had about 80 now! All over the place I would go sexual health clinincs, doctors all over! They all know me now and I get so embarrassed but I still go! My fear now is if I find a scratch or a prick mark or anything that has broke my skin I automatically think it’s from a needle! I’ve never seen a needle in me but I always think if I’ve been pricked by one when I wasn’t looking or never felt it! Everyday I think about it, I none stop phone up clinics, helplines and the worst place the internet! They say it’s hard to catch it from a needle but I swear I’m cursed and I will get it! I obsess so bad my life is ruined by it I hate it! Cbt is impossible cuz how can you confront being pricked by a needle?!?! Does anyone else have the same as me with being pricked by a needle? I will go in the chemist and get clean needles and even prick my self or scratch myself to see if it looks like the scratch I found!
]]>Comment on Alison’s Story by Incertushttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-14864
Thu, 23 Jun 2016 09:20:55 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-14864No, David it doesn’t sound crazy it sounds like OCD. As Alison’s Story has garnered the most comments it is also clear to see it is a common form of contamination type OCD. So you certainly are not alone in this.
]]>Comment on Alison’s Story by david atanahttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-14863
Thu, 23 Jun 2016 08:23:38 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-14863I am afraid of hiv and i think i have it although it has been proving medically 10 times in the last year that i am healthy.
After 7 tests i decided i would get tested one last time (i wish i never did).
I went and after the nurse pricked my finger with a lancet, i somehow was convinced that the lancet was contaminated although i was assured that it was a single used one.
I waited for 14days then went and got tested, right before i walked out,i saw a sign that said “needle exchange” and i got convinced that they must have used an old needle to draw my blood.
I waited again for 14days since they told me that’s the window period for the 4th generation antigen/antibody test.
I went to a different lab and after the lady drew my blood, i noticed a piece of gauze on the table with blood on it, i just couldn’t figure out how blood got to it except that the lady must have had a cut.
I know this sounds crazy but i can’t get the fact that i have hiv out of my mind.
]]>Comment on Alison’s Story by Merrianhttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-14596
Fri, 08 Apr 2016 07:44:29 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-14596Hiii…i am glad i found this site where i can talk about my feelings. I got sick some time ago just a minor infection fever dihorrea and weakness that went away with some medicine by the dr. I got my CBC which is perfectly normal. Thenafter i started getting digestive issues constipation , bloating, acid reflux , sleep apnea, malaise. Now the thing is although i am a virgin dont do drugs and have never had a blood transfusion etc i just keep on imaginig that i have hiv even when i kmow that there is no possible way. My dr. says that its just my digestive balance disturbed after a bout of infection due to resteraunt food but i am obsessed about hiv. I had a sore throat after drinking pepsi which is very common for me but then again i panicked. I convinced myself with oral thrush although i dont have it. I am googling each and every symptom all the time 24/7. I think i’ll go crazy.One moment i feel i am absolutely fine and the other i am having an anxiety attack. What shall i do?
]]>Comment on Alison’s Story by mickhttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-14574
Wed, 02 Mar 2016 10:44:05 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-14574My obsession is very similar to yours Alison, I live in constant fear that I have somehow made my kids and wife sick with HIV. Be it by kissing/licking a cut on my sons finger after him stacking his bike to not knowing how Ive made my other son sick but thinking he is. Its a horrible feeling and like youre living in a nightmare. Im just about to start some new meds as thr prozac didnt seem to work with me, so fingers crossed… I hope you are well and the obsessing has eased.
]]>Comment on Lucy’s Story by ‘What If I Smothered Him?’: 20 People Share Their Most Terrifying OCD Thoughts & Habits | Thought Cataloghttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2008/08/20/lucys-story/#comment-14299
Mon, 28 Sep 2015 22:11:46 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/2008/08/20/lucys-story/#comment-14299[…] —Lucy […]
]]>Comment on Living Life by Sarahhttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2013/03/25/living-life/#comment-13449
Wed, 24 Dec 2014 22:21:53 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=293#comment-13449When I was reading this, it felt like I was reading something I had written. It’s such a horrible thing to suffer with. My family and friends don’t seem to understand how I feel. I try to be happy but I can’t seem to be or feel I don’t deserve to be happy. You try to suppress the thoughts and the things you do but they seem to never end. You smile and people automatically believe that you are happy but in reality you don’t want people to see how you truly feel. You don’t want to leave the house because you’re afraid and I too feel that the world is small. I was in special education classes and dropped out because I was bullied and had a hard time focusing and couldn’t seem to get the work done because it was too challenging for my brain to comprehend. I never had that many friends and when I did make an acquaintance they turned out to later stab me in the back and it really hurts to be treated like that because you are different. I feel okay sometimes but then I’m back to worrying again and it really upsets me. On sunny days it appears to me that it’s a rainy one and I try to escape by taking naps but I never seem to sleep and am panicking again. Sorry for writing a lot I thought I’d share how I felt and that you are not alone even when you feel you are. Merry Christmas!
]]>Comment on The OCD Mind- My Personal Hell by overcoming ocdhttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2011/04/15/the-ocd-mind-my-personal-hell/#comment-9868
Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:49:16 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=277#comment-9868I am 23 years old and I was suffering from severe ocd.I have not overcame it yet but in one year i have got better significantly.
I had ocd from when i was a kid.I don’t know when exactly ocd started.but from when i remember i had unwanted thoughts. whenever i heard something bad has happened to someone( i am not still able to mention the bad things,sorry) i was shocked and always had the fear that this could happen again!!
I have had experienced different compulsions(washing-relegiousness-checking on people-double doing things-….) but the most fearfull one was close to you.I was worried about my family since i went to university. it got so difficult that 1.5 year ago I stopped going out to protect my family by checking on them every minute. I already knew that i have ocd but i never seeked help until my family got informed about my situation one year ago. because i refused to go to a therapist they went to therapist and learned some technics and got me medication.i started to get better i have still a long way to go but i want to assure you there is help for ocd out there,i was so disappointed myself that i could not believe a cure is possible,never ever.I understand your fear,the better things are the more scared you are
i understand but you should know that by being recognized as a ocd sufferer you will not lose anything you may just need to spend more time on yourself.just please talk to your husband or if it is diffficult for you ask a therapist to explain it to him,and please SEEK HELP find a therapist .overcoming ocd is difficult but not impossible.try to overcome it believe me it worth it you will be more useful for your children and your husband.
GOOD LUCK!!
]]>Comment on Alison’s Story by antoniahttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2005/07/07/alisons-story/#comment-9863
Wed, 16 Jan 2013 16:05:59 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=70#comment-9863It has been a long time since the last post on this thread, but I thought I would like to add my story.

I have OCD and hypochondriasis for my entire life. In high school we did an egg baby project and I picked the hollow egg which meant mine had a defect, then I picked the defect and it was hiv. Since then I have been convinced that I or one of my children will get hiv. The fear is ruining my life. I have four children and am in a committed marriage for the past 12 years. I have been tested twice during each pregnancy and then again at least 3 other times. I know the modes of transmission but I think somehow I or one of my children will get it in an unconventional way.

When my 10 year old was 2 I got him an ice cream cone at McDonalds after he ate a lot of it I say red streaks in the vanilla ice cream and took it away from him. I then believed that someone infected with hiv put blood in the ice cream on purpose and now he has it.

I also think that whenever I get a test the person drawing the blood is using a dirty needle and purposly trying to give me hiv. I am so afraid all the time and I start to feel the symptoms of the disease. I then go back and think of ways I could have got infected. I had a biopsy on a mole and they used novacane to numb the area and I think that the needle had hiv blood on it. Then I though I had thrush in my mouth when I didnt and I went to the ER insisted that I had thrush and must have hiv. They told me this was an irrational fear and sent me home. I still keep thinking of ways I could have gotten it. I am afraid that when I go out someone will prick me with an infected needle or put blood in my food or drink. I know the virus dies quickly outside the body, but I still think that I or my son or other children will get it. I obcesse over other illnesses as well, but the hiv fear has been most prominent since the high school project. I wish I could get over this fear. I want to have my 10 year old tested, but im afraid of what the doctor will think. I have talked to many psychologists but I can’t get over it. I have been prescribed lexapro, but I look up the side effects and I am afraid to take it. I can’t take this fear anymore. Everytime I get a negative test for myself I find another way that I think I could have been infected. It is good to hear other people share this horrible fear.

]]>Comment on The OCD Mind- My Personal Hell by Annonymoushttp://www.incertus.imntb.com/2011/04/15/the-ocd-mind-my-personal-hell/#comment-9862
Tue, 30 Oct 2012 12:22:20 +0000http://www.incertus.imntb.com/?p=277#comment-9862I have generalised anxiety disorder which is very similar to OCD as they are both panic disorders. Although I do not have obsessions and compulsions and I do have alot of experiance with high anxiety-and it is very destructive. You will not lose your family because you have a mental disorder and having one most definatly does not mean that you are mad or incapable of achieving anything that you want to-its just that you may take more time than other poeple. That’s OK. You are 28. You have time. There may be alot of stigma about mental disorders, but OCD is becoming increasingly well known and understood-it is extremely rare to be put in a psychiatric ward because of OCD, so I really don’t think that you should be worried about that! Sometimes I find that it helps to give myself pep talks when I am very anxious, things like, I’m OK, I’m going to take my time. We get up in the morning and we do our best. That is all that matters. Don’t look too far in the future and try not to pre stress about things that scare you, I have learned that it makes the anxiety worse. Instead, try mindfulness techniques and bring your mind back to the now when you are feeling anxious. Anxiety takes alot out of you, and can be exhausting as you may feel constantly at a mental war.Therefore look after yourself, eat well, make sure that you sleep OK, have time to just relax. Try breathing and muscle exercises, also visualisations. Create a diary, write down intrusive thoughts, then counter them.
It’s all going to go wrong – I cannot see into the future therefore I don’t know this
I can’t do it-where is the evidance, can this be justified?
It has gone wrong before it will again-says who? I have a plan and I’m going to stick to it

Eventually, through practice and hard work you can retrain your brain to challenge the thoughts and make them more positive and more logical. It’s not an overnight fix, but it can help in the long term. Also seek help from therapists, go to your GP and tell them. You will be amazed. There are things that can counter OCD with minimal invasion to normal life routine and to mental and physical comfort-and it is more than OK to ask for help!!! I am by no means completly recovered from anxiety but I would like to think that I am on my way. These are not solid guidlines, they may help, they may not, it’s all about taking your time, experimenting to find what works for you, and persevering. Exhausting but rewarding. Remember, not only do you have time, but relapse is not collapse. Don’t give up!