Online Dating: 2 Ways Boomers Break the Rules

Looking for love after 50 can be a tricky endeavor, as many of the traditional ways to meet people – weddings, college, unmarried friends – have dried up. As a result, many boomers are turning to online dating to find a mate, as I reported in a story for SmartMoney.com this week. In fact, the number of people over 50 joining online dating sites has grown at twice the rate of other age groups, and baby boomers now represent roughly one out of every five online daters.

Secondary Sidebar

Dr. Bill Thomas Presents:

Dr. Thomas' Age of Disruption Tour visits 30 cities in 2016 to introduce audiences to a new and highly disruptive understanding of aging.

What’s particularly interesting about this trend is how these boomers are using online dating sites differently than their younger peers. In particular, experts I spoke to noted the following:

1. Marriage is out. Marriage often isn’t the goal for online daters over 50. “They want long-term relationships but they’re less interested in marriage than younger members,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, OurTime.com’s relationship expert. She thinks this is due to the fact that they’re not looking to have children and because recent economic conditions have made them wary of marriage, which would link their finances with someone elses’.

2. Women are bolder. Older women who are online dating are more likely to initiate contact with a potential partner than are younger women, says Dr. Gian Gonzaga, senior director of research and development for eHarmony.com. “This is probably because they’ve already gone through relationships, so they’re more secure.”

All in all: “The traditional roles break down a bit more in this age group,” Gonzaga says.

Still, tradition isn’t dead. For one, men shouldn’t sit around and wait for the ladies to message them, as most women over 50 still prefer that men do the first ask, says Saltz. And neither sex should assume that marriage is off the table; it’s just that marriage is often not as big of a priority for boomers as it is for those in child-bearing years, experts say. To learn more about online dating and how to save money using these sites, click here.