Answers for August 2007

Harder questions than usual, I’m sort of proud to say, except that I got the actual question wrong at Q2, however there is an escape route, which was pointed out only by our winner, and it’s his first try – congratulations to

Paul Butcher

of Canberra. I lived in Canberra in the late 1980’s. Well, I would not really have called it “living” …

Question 1x – Repeated from July, because nobody got it

Apart from in the songs, what is the only placename mentioned in “Magical Mystery Tour”, and for extra points, what else is this place famous for?

Answer

Dewsbury is referenced in the Beatles’ 1967 film Magical Mystery Tour. A line of dialogue in the film has one of the magicians (all portrayed by the Beatles themselves) – who are keeping an eye on the whereabouts of the bus that is taking its passengers on the journey of the film’s title – exclaim: “The bus is ten miles north on the Dewsbury road and they’re having a lovely time!” Apart from references in the songs such as Blue Jay Way, the Fool on the Hill, Strawberry Fields, etc, Dewsbury is the only place named in the movie “Magical Mystery Tour” The bandmaster of the RMS Titanic lived in Dewsbury in 1912 (well, for part of 1912 anyway) and this, his last home is commemorated by a blue plaque on the wall.

Additional Answers

A city in the Netherlands, Hamsterdam. It’s also famous for pornographic mice and marijuana-befuddled guinea pigs.

Abbey Road.Also known as the street in which EMIs recording studio is situated.[and on the cover of samenamed album].

Blue Jay way is a place isn’t it?

Blue Jay Way, which is a street in Toronto named for the city’s major league baseball team, the, erm, Toronto Blue Jays.

For heaven’s sakes, why are you asking this question all over again when nobody got the answer last time? You just don’t quit, Dr Bob. Shame shame.

Hmmm, my parents tried this with lima beans. The beans are still on the plate for all I know. Oh well, consider this the equivalent of hiding the beans in the mashed potatos: The Statue of Liberty. It is famous as the landmark that lets the astronauts in Planet of the Apes know that they time traveled instead of landing on another planet.

I thought I sort of got this right. It was a street name that George lived in. OK maybe I should look up the name again. Then maybe that would be wrong anyway so why should I bother?

Liverpool is the place, the song is “Penny Lane” named after the slave trader James Penny – How did I go Doc?

Magic Mushroom land – famous for err…..

Okay then, I’ll get out the horrible movie and watch it again, just for you. Hope you’re satisfied.

Paul McCartney’s grave – famous for *not* containg Paul McCartney.

Penny Lane – where John and Paul grew up in Liverpool

Shit, I still don’t know. I haven’t seen the movie. Though I could have bought it by now and watched it to find out. I spose.

still don’t know

Strawberries

the bus

The hill; famous for the fool on it (Some answers don’t change). Also famous for being in two consecutive quiz’s & no I’m not going to watch it.

The Magic Piper Restaurant

The Schnapps Museum in Vienna. Famous for making schnapps. Mmmmmmm schnapps.

HAMS TERrible, Said Noah to the swine / Ham was under the weather, he had taken too much wine / Shem was down below somewhere, mucking out the apeth / Noah muttered ‘neath his breath “Where’s that bugger Japheth?”

hamster dance song?

Hamster Dance. It would look pretty ridiculous if it WAS a dance…

hamster in your teapot

Hamster Love by Big Daddy, but thank you for making me trawl through every hamster song on Google. Weird Al’s two looked okay, and I enjoyed King Missile’s Hamsters, but Dayglo Abortions’ Hide the Hamster has traumatised me and I may be forced to sue. (Note, ‘sue’, not ‘Sue’.)

Hamster love. Did I already do all this?

Hamster Love. Really it does start with the word hamster. Not that I would think Dr Bob would have a better song than that. Would I think that? No of course not.

Hamster of Finland

Hamster Song

Hamsterdance! Okay, that’s probably wrong.

Hmm, the Beatles reputedly had a never-released album called Maniacal Mystery Tour which included a song titled “I am a Rodent”, dedicated to a then youthful John Howard (the actor, not the politician). Is that the song you seek?

None–this is a trick question.

Ooh I bet you are looking for mondegreens. I like “Carry a laser down the road that I must travel.” Of course everyone knows “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.”

Ooh, couldn’t find this one, although “Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters” sounded like an amusing ditty.

Some emo song and of course no-one understands the pain of why the song starts with such an odd word.

The “Ha Ha Hamster song” by Sesame Street.

The Farting March.

Question 2

Other than in Europe, where is the biggest collection of French art of the renaissance period?

Answer

Ha ha, Trick question – the French did not produce any renaissance art. (This saves me from having to discover the answer to the stated question myself). There is quite a big collection of French Impressionist art, but maybe not the world’s biggest, in Hiroshima.

Additional Answers

Bill Gates’ house, the rich little bastard. That guy is so rich he owns a mummified Jesus finger.

Can I just have credit rather than submitting 5 times. (I’m not going to guess Antarctica.) No? OK here goes: Asia.

Ebay

Either in the private collection of some S. American nazi, or the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY, USA.

Gawd knows. The Western Art Museum in Tokyo. That’ll do. Seeing as how you’ve been there recently.

I reckon some dodgy Poms probably have it.

Iceland – ummm is that Europe?

In a cave near Quedlinburg?

In a gallery. Wow that was an easy one.

In Europe.

in Jamaica

Italy

Las Vegas

Museum of fine arts, Boston.

National Gallery of Art, Washington D.C.

Neuschwabenland, Antarctica. The Big H took them with him when he fled after screwing up WWII.

New Caledonia. It’s all French isn’t it?

Outside of Europe

Outside of Europe, in a number of rooms. Yes I think I did already do this.

Paul Keating’s bedroom.

Rupert Murdoch’s Australian outback hideout.

Saudi Arabia

Somewhere in the USA

Tahiti

The US? Tahiti? errr,Iceland?

USA

Vietnam

Question 3

The famous Japanese sword maker Masamune was challenged by a rival swordsmith, one of whose swords when held in a flowing stream cut the leaves flowing past on the surface. What was Masamune’s reply?

Answer

Held his own weapon (sword that is) in the stream, and the leaves began to flow around it, avoiding the sharp edge

Additional Answers

Lets just have a beer

“don’t put swords in water, you idiot, they rust!”

“Just leaf me alone.” But that was barking up the wrong tree. The rival twigged, and then Masamune got to the root of the problem by planting his sword through the rival’s wood. Ouch.

“Now let’s see you cut one horizontally, arsehole-san!”

“Ooh, I’m so scared. Why don’t you go and chop up some sashimi instead of engaging in pointless violence?”

“The first of the swords was by all accounts a fine sword, however it is a blood thirsty, evil blade as it doesn’t discriminate as to who or what it will cut. It may just as well be cutting down butterflies as severing heads. The second was by far the finer of the two, as it doesn’t needlessly cut that which is innocent and undeserving.”At least that is the legend. In reality, he probably resorted to a more traditional form of sword – testing and tested if it could cleave a body in half.

A swift slash to the neck region

Ah yes I remember now. However I don’t understand Japanese so I can’t translate for Doctor Bob. Something to do with the honour of the blades as far as I could tell at the time.

He immediately chopped off the head of the rival swordsmith, thus keeping his title of Japan’s best swordmaker, and of Japan’s biggest sorehead.

he replied that he didn’t want to cut needlessly that which is innocent and undeserving

He ripped off his mask and it was Cameron Diaz! Alas, Charlies Angels have foiled another plot.

he said “you may have a killer sword, but my sword is a killer” and promptly flipped his head off in a jealous rage

Hey! Gimme back me sword! It’ll rust if you stick it in the stream too long! (Actually, he said it in Japanese, but I don’t have any jap characters on this keyboard sorry).

His sword went into the water and cut nothing. A passing monk claimed Masamune’s sword was the more holy of the blades as it discriminated its targets.

Huh? The legend seems to be that the leaves avoid the honorable sword of Masamune. But the rival’s sword attracts the cuts. And so is not as pure. I must have got this one wrong. Or Doctor Bob did. I leave the truth to the gentle reader.

Knock yourself out broke. My swords are imbued with goodness and stuff because I am a good broke, and yours are nasty pieces of work and velly velly baaaaaad and the reaves will go lound mine. On yours they will die.

Masamune’s sword was more discriminating in what it would cut – less bloodthirsty. It didn’t needlessly cut the innocent. Other legend: leaves were cut, but didn’t stick to Masamune’s sword.

My swords cut the logs coming down the river,not just mere leaves.

Nice Holmes. We’ll call your ass next time the island is invaded by leaves.

Schllllikk-rolling head-“Your not better now!”(back into position).

still waters run deep, how deep is the ocean, how wide it the sky – shit, i don’t know, it’s a stupid question

Swords are for cutting bodies. Not leaves.

Thats pretty fuckin’ sharp, dude.(When you edit this Bob, which I think you will, do try to keep the spirit of the answer intact.)

Well according to Wikipedia, he didn’t say anything, he just put his sword into the water, however a passing Monk stated “The first of the swords was by all accounts a fine sword, however it is a blood thirsty, evil blade as it doesn’t discriminate as to who or what it will cut. It may just as well be cutting down butterflies as severing heads. The second was by far the finer of the two, as it doesn’t needlessly cut that which is innocent and undeserving”

Yeah, But my Dad would kick your Dad’s ass.

Question 4

What could or should you do, if you wish to emulate the lifestyle and deeds of the famous Duke of Bohemia, Wenceslas I?

Answer

Look out!

Additional Answers

“Mighty good king Wenceslas, looked out on the feast of Stephen (Dec. 26), when the snow lay on the ground, crisp and clear and even . . . ” Also, you might first tolerate John Hus and his chalace access to all, and then have Hus burned.

Be “good” as in “Good King Wencelas once looked out…”Umm…be kind to the poor…err…make sure your bath water goes on the trees. Oh, and spare the Christians…

Be good but look out.

Be Kind to others

Be, er, bohemian, perhaps?

Collect dog crap in a bag, go to people’s houses and light it on fire. “Watch them try to put it out is a jolly good fun” Duke of BW.

Contribute to your brothers life insurance policy

Convince some folks that monotheistic nonsense is more likely than pagan nonsense. Oops. These are supposed to be funny. How about: It’s a good thing he didn’t give toys to kids or we would all sing “Here comes Wenceclaus” in the USA.

Defend the Christian religion

Drink

Drink, and smoke cane toads.

Get killed by my brother? Hey don’t laugh. My brother carries a gun. .38, hollow point ammo. Really he does. At work anyway. I try not to upset him.

He who now would bless the poor, shall yourselves find blessing. Get someone to walk in your footsteps through the snow, wasn’t it.

Hic…d’ya mean Djuke Wineglass? HIC! ERC! He wash an ol’ frienda mine. We ewshta hang out at good ol’ pub…

I know this one. I can play it on my recorder. You have to look out. On the feast of Steven. Oh and get killed by your brother just a few years after gaining the throne. Should do? Could do? Nah, I’ll pass. I’m just a poor man coming in sight. Who lived to tell the tale.

Lead the bohemian lyfestyle. Let’s see: alcohol, smokes, women, song, not working for a living, sleeping in…

Three simple steps: 1. Exile your mother and become Duke of Bohemia 2. Go out on the Feast of Stephen when the snow lies round about, deep and crisp and even, to deliver food to the guy underneath the mountain. Pre-chill your boots so you don’t leave footprints, thus starting the rumour you’re a saint. 3. Become a fratricide martyr as your pagan little brother Boreslav murders you on your way to church.

Well, I’d be good. I’d lift the ban on Christianity and allow people to worship as they please, I’d ensure children got educated and my army was well fed and equipped, I’d even chop wood for peasants and so they would be warm. (he really was good wasn’t he?) I’d encourage home brewing. I’d get snuffed by my brother, the mongrel, on the way to mass that HE invited me to.

You could, for example, go to a mountain cave and take a good, long nap.

you should jump in a hessian sack and attempt to run horizontally down a sculpture made of texan lawyer’s grey hairs in the full sun on the 18th of feburary [Hmmmm … the obligations of sainthood are more complex than I first thought]

Question 5

Who said “I played a little with my sister, but she wasn’t too interested, so I started playing games with myself”?

Additional Answers

A really delirious guy. Who ever heard of a sister who is not interested in a little game? AHEM AHEM!

A sad, lonely computer.

Eddie Fischer

Einstein

Freud, while smoking a really, *really*, big cigar

Hugh Hefner

I am at work so I’m not sure if I should Google this one… On a punt, I would say Einstein?

I dunno. Is this a chess question? Actually I probably said that. About Scrabble or Monopoly. But I bet a dollar Dr Bob doesn’t mean me.

I said it. Last night. Was that you in the unmarked van out the front, Bob?

Lleyton Hewitt

Master Bates

Might have been my brother. But I try not to upset him. He does that sort of stuff. But he has a gun.

Onan.

Oscar Wilde

Patrick Carroll.

Portnoy.

Probably Richard Feynman. But it could also be Andy Warhol, Richard Garriot or even Richard Garfield.

Probably you.

Some dirty incestuous pedophile masturbator.

Some unfortunate person with a boring sister.

Stevie wonder

The Rubik’s cube guy, whose name escapes everyone

The young bloke under the table in question six.

This must be the link to previous quizzes question:Groucho Marx? Hitler? The North Korean dictator guy? The president of the Althing? Someone in Aruba?Nah: I’ll go with Bobby Fisher.

This sounds like something that Woody Allen would say.

Venus Williams.

Question 6

What is the boy under the table hiding from?

Answer

More relevantly, what is Dr Bob hiding from? He is hiding from memories of a childhood where kids were trained to protect against any undesirable effects of atomic bomb explosions by hiding under the table. Hide away, son … then when you grow up, perhaps you can make the world a better place.

Additional Answers

The Gethsemane Twelve

A can of woop ass by the teacher

a ghost

a teacher

A. bomb.

Atomic bobs? Sorry, bombs, I meant BOMBS not Bob’s. Or even Atomic Bettys. Not Atomic Bobs. Sorry. It’s late, 7.52pm, oh is that all? Did I drink that much beer already? Hic!

Atomic radiation fallout.

Doctor Bob’s quiz? Wise move. Atomic bomb? Great plan that table will stop that sort of shit. Million degrees, atmospheric over pressure. Hey it only needs a few PSI extra to blow the whole lot miles away. Do the sums yourself. Then again maybe it’s a religious school.

Duck and Cover, it’s an earthquake!

From the scary looking girl holding her stomach who really is a man but is too afraid to tell anyone

He’s not hiding. He was playing hide and seek and nodded off, ’cause his mates played a trick on him and didn’t actually look for him, and is still asleep while someone has brought a tour group in by the looks of it.

His little sister.

His sister.

Imminent nuclear annihilation, or his fashionista peers whipped to a frenzy by his choice in shirtwear

Incredibly evil KGB agents who actually are about 3000km away at the nearest. Bloody American propaganda!

Looks to me more like the Gethsemane 12 and wouldn’t you be hiding out if you knew what was coming.

Nuclear attack. “Duck, and cover.”

Nuclear blast effects and fallout. This has to be the “duck and cover” charade I was subjected to when I was a kid. You know: Bert,the turtle,is always alert. What a joke.

Nuclear bombs

Nuclear explosion

Nuclear holocaust.

Portnoy (the tall kid on the right).

Probably a duck – but that is all covered in the film.

The figure under the table appears to have big ears. So I guess its Doby The House Elf hiding from Draco Malfoy (and if you don’t read J.K. Rowling or know who she is, forget it)!

The headmaster

The school prefects, for not wearing the standard black & white uniform.

Well, according to the American media, he is hiding from evil KGB or NKVD agents. In reality, the agents he is hiding from are the toilet drain cleaner and dishwashing liquid spilt on his table by his e’er-so-friendly co-students.

How do these penis pump things work? [Well, I used an automatic cow milker, it was very nice to begin with but it would not stop. So I rang the shop & they said it will stop automatically after 5 litres. The most fun thing about the automatic milker is that you need three other participants to achieve a good seal.]

I had to reload 312,427 times to get to my favorite 6 digit number as a submit code, so I hope I win.

I seen some of yer previous quizzes. What is it with loving Iceland too much? And ripping off Stalin more than even he deserves? What about Joseph McCarthy? And Qatar? The world is broad and wide, and is most certainly not all purgatory, torture or hell outside Reykjavik walls.

I suppose it’s fortunate they don’t use this quiz for immigration restriction. Australia would lose its population otherwise.

It’s my first time can you stop the dogs’ barking?

Ken Ham’s Answers In Genesis Museum in Boone County, Kentucky, continues to have thousands of visitors. Haven’t heard of parents and children so influenced by it harassing public school science teachers yet.

More fun again. Great to read the Masamune story.

Oh how I hate to have to post comments. However why are last months answers so late? Oh, OK. But still they have the internet there don’t they?

Shiny rock on her finger, suddenly I can do no wrong – Is it possible to get engaged every two weeks?

Sorry Doc, couldn’t think of anything funny so did my best to answer seriously, this is the last time I will deny you my wit I swear!

What the @@#@@# was that all about?

Why did the send button only just light up? Are we only allowed one response now?

Why has my number changed? [Well, that’s what happens in life … until one day, your number comes up]

Yes The Quiz is more fun if one just makes up the answers rather than Googling. But I sort of have to Google a bit. I can’t help it. I need to know. I just do. I need to know. You ask me the questions and I want to find the answer. I can’t help myself. AAARRRGGGG!!!