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A Tyranny of Choice

In his most recent column, Sam Guzman talks about this age of choice. One of his topic headings is “The Religion of Choice.” My instant gut-reaction was, “it’s more like the tyranny of choice” (with apologies to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI and his “Tyranny of Relativism” – which may not be all that different, come to think of it).

Now, I am just ornery enough to look at society in this day and age and immediately dismiss it. Basically, if “everyone” wants it, I don’t. Yeah, sounds an awful lot like our two-year olds. But, I see so much crap these days that it seems like an automatic response to just turn around and walk away.

While we don’t watch commercial tv at home, my job requires that I am aware of the latest breaking news world-wide. Consequently, I see more tv at work than I can stand. And, since I work at night, it is “late night tv” – the very worst of a genre. If anything is worse than most of what is on the internet, it is late night tv – was life so terrible 40 years ago when the few tv stations “signed off” at night? But, I digress.

I am reminded of a book I read in high school: “From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor,” by Jerry della Femina. I see our consumer society divided into parts like: (1) those who create new products, (2) those that market new products, and (3) those that buy new products. Whatever the merits of that system, my point is that anyone of the three groups does have a choice. Put another way, just because you see it on late night tv and you can get two of ‘em for $19.95 (operators are standing by), it doesn’t mean you are being forced to buy it.

But, for some reason, we apparently feel we don’t have a choice (thus, the “tyranny”). I see religion as a matter of choice (don’t throw stones just yet); not choice as a matter of religion. So, I depart from Sam in characterizing choice as a religion. I realize he is making the case that true, honest-to-GOD religion (i.e., belief in GOD) has been largely replaced by a “smorgasbord, a veritably unlimited menu of options.” However, while it does seem that most of the people I know are making largely unconscious decisions in the “vast mall of choices,” I certainly do not.

Yeah, I am prone to agonizing – spending lots of time – over decisions. I have been thinking about buying a new computer. But, while I have reviewed a few (most recently a comparison between a Windows-based laptop and an Apple Mac), I just can’t force myself to spend the money to buy what would be essentially a toy. The fact is, I don’t actually need a new computer. So, the first hurdle is “want” versus “need.”

The second hurdle for me is “Where was it made?” I frankly don’t care where the executives of a particular company live; what I do care about is where the workers live. Although my parents are “white-collar,” their parents were not. So, my wife and I drive two Toyotas – both “made” (i.e., assembled) right here in the Good Ol’ U.S. of A. That said, I don’t believe a single computer is assembled here, and certainly none of the parts are made here. (Yes, I do own a cell phone, but that comes under the “need” category.) When it comes to clothing, if it is made in China, I walk away. Needing (yes, needing) a battery-powered drill (screwdriver), I recently bought a pair from DeWalt; even though they were considerably more expensive than the variously colored competition on the shelf/on-line. Last year, I bought a toolbox for my pickup truck; I went with “Weathergard.” Again, because of where they were made. Conscious, deliberate decisions.

And now that I have two Munchkins under foot, I ask myself what I will be leaving them. Do I want to buy cheap now, knowing it won’t last; or do I want to bequeath something of value? In the world of values, what do I want to teach them (and, GOD willing, what will they learn)? Do I want to impress upon them the attitude of, whatever it is, it can be easily discarded and replaced? In fact, I do see value in commitment, in staying the course, loyalty (the hardest concepts for me to learn).

Sadly, I was seduced years ago by the view that it was better for the kids to divorce than it was for warring parents to try to raise them. Knowing what I know now, my first marriage would likely have ended in divorce eventually; but at the time, I had not looked very closely at my options – I simply did not perform the “due diligence” I now feel I should have. Part of that process (which should have included reading Venerable Archbishop Sheen’s “Three to Get Married”) should have entertained the possibility that divorce would forever rupture my relationship with my daughter (other than cashing the checks I send her for her birthday and Christmas, she will have nothing to do with me).

While the parallels between being a consumer of stuff and a consumer of relationships (more specifically, marriage) seem very close, they are galaxies apart. It really doesn’t matter if I buy a screwdriver that won’t and I reduce it to a pry-bar or chisel (shudder); but it really does matter if I do everything I can (and more) to stay married. It matters to my wife, it matters to our kids and it matters most of all to GOD. And, I guess, ultimately, it matters to me: my salvation absolutely depends on my relationship to GOD.

Stay the course. Run the race. Keep the faith.

Oh, the above comment, “I see religion as a matter of choice,” I meant just as a literary device. To be perfectly honest (and clear), I am convinced that Faith is a gift we are given – it’s not something we make an intellectual decision about.

“A Vow of Stability: A Call to Commitment in an Age of Choice,” Sam Guzman on “The Catholic Gentleman”