When we first heard about Steven Spielberg directing Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn, we wondered if TinTin would be a racist gay man. Seeing as the film is slated as a Christmas-time family film, probably not. But the movie still features fisting, voyeurism, and sailors and even if he doesn’t kiss a dude on the lips, every friend of Dorothy will know that under that ginger hairdo and sweater beats the heart of a homo. Who else but a gay man would risk his life investigating a unicorn?