Antichrist

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A recipe for controversy. First, make a film that climaxes (unfortunate word) with two acts of horrific genital mutilation. Take your film to Cannes. Declare yourself the world’s greatest director and proclaim that your film was made with help from the hand of God. Give it a provocative title. I don’t know, maybe Antichrist. Finally go back to Denmark, tend to your garden and laugh like crazy at the idiots who actually watched your piece of trash.

Antichrist is Lars von Trier serving us a platter of shit. Some of us can taste the shit and we are angry. Others can smell the shit and don’t want to taste it. And, an unfortunate bunch taste the shit but think it is chocolate. I know that is a crude analogy but seriously, Antichrist is shit. This film is not worth the time I spent reviewing it or even the time you are taking to read this.

But I must confess von Trier is clever. Why? Well, he has made an awful film, which everyone is going to see. He has ensured his longevity by admitting himself to the pantheon of ultra-controversial directors. But most of all he has succeeded in attacking us as violently as he can. To top it all off he just sold half of his production company. The guy is laughing at us all the way to the bank.

Antichrist is a practical joke. The equivalent of telling someone their family has been massacred and then saying “gotcha”. But not everyone is getting the joke. People are saying it is art, they are saying it is a good film, they are commending von Trier on ‘challenging’ audiences. Well I’m sorry, but it’s nonsense. Von Trier wanted to piss on everyone he hates. And whom does he hate? Critics and audiences. The very people that waste their time seeing his increasingly terrible films.

As for the Tarkovsky dedication. Come on! Do you really need more proof that this was a ruse! One last twist of the knife. We cannot take this seriously. Even if Antichrist isn’t an extraordinary joke, then it’s just a bad film. The symbolism is overt, the themes shallow and the slow-motion photography as pretentious as a commercial for CK One. To tell the truth, when the film wasn’t doing something shocking or ridiculous it was utterly boring. Don’t waste your time.

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