Thursday, August 3, 2017

Unplug and Smell the Roses: Four Suggestions for Having a Real Life

This post is about phones. Smartphones.
Phones that one uses to do everything—except actually talk to friends and
family. I think they’re the scourge of the earth, and I’ll explain why.

Many years ago now, before smartphones, friends
in a university ministry hosted a group from overseas. This group was supposed
to be there for ministry, and they were mostly university students themselves.
When the visiting group discovered that their host family had Wi-Fi in the
house, the “ministering students” quickly got out their laptops and spent the
rest of the time online, plugging in at different corners of the house. Instead
of connecting with the young people who were in the house, they isolated
themselves from those they were supposed to be ministering to. While I totally
understand that these young people would have been delighted to get online
after several days of non connection, they should have waited until there
weren’t people around that they could have ministered to. Late at night would
have been fine, or the next morning. They ignored the people they’d traveled
thousands of miles to minister to—at least that first day. It left sadness in
the hearts of their hosts.

A group of teens traveled to Europe. Smartphones in hand, they were looking down as their hosts spent time and money to take
them to amazing parts of several different countries. The kids missed probably
ninety percent of the scenery—quaint little towns and natural beauty. They were
busy chatting with people back home and playing games, thumbs flying. When they arrived at their
destination, they smiled and took selfies and a few other pictures, and then turned back to their phones—texting, chatting, and connecting. Their hosts
couldn’t even get them to look up or listen to the interesting historical
background about the castle they were visiting.

Another group went to a foreign country and
sat down to eat in a family’s home. Phones came to the table too,
accompanied by earphones. The hosts couldn’t even talk with their
guests. The phones took over at mealtime.

You’ve probably witnessed this phenomenon
yourself. Just go to any restaurant. No longer do people socialize face to face.
They ignore those they’re with, and they look at their phones. Oh yes, they take
pictures of their food and send it to their friends and maybe take a selfie,
too, but they don’t actually connect in real life.

I want to address this problem because I
think it’s more than a faddish problem.

It will have dire consequences in the future.

They
won’t have a clue about good manners. The whole
premise of good manners is that you put others first. That’s a biblical
concept, by the way. Bekindly affectioned one
to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another (Romans
12:10).

They
won’t understand how to develop true friendships.All of their friends become “virtual.” The danger is that when it comes time to
talk to people on a mind and heart level—for example, in a dating
relationship—they really won’t have anything to say. They might not be
listening, either. Real relationships are formed by actually being “present” in
the friendship. True relationships happen when people talk back and forth,
laugh together, and enjoy things together.

They
have the false impression that every life experience is not to be experienced, but rather to be shared online.Instead of living in the moment and enjoying the whole
experience—drinking in the atmosphere, actually looking at the sights,
listening to the sounds, and even smelling the flowers—they take two selfies
and get back to their phones. The Bible says to enjoy life in a pure way. Behold that
which I have seen: it is good
and comely for one to eat and
to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun
all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion (Ecclesiastes 5:18).

They
won’t have time for God.A relationship with God
requires seeking His face—in prayer and Bible study. It means getting to know
Him. Even if a person has a Bible on his phone—a good idea, by the way—he can’t
really pause without distraction and worship and pour out his heart to the Lord
without being distracted by his device. Wherewithal
shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. With my whole heart have I
sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments. Thy word have I hid in
mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Blessed art thou, O LORD: teach me thy statutes (Psalm 119:9-12).

They will not understand Christian service.Serving Christ means serving God and others. This means you’re
active in your church’s ministry. It means you do things for other people. It
means you show God’s love by loving others. It means you’re transparent,
vulnerable, and available. You cannot truly be there for others if you’re
always looking at a screen. But now being made
free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness,
and the end everlasting life (Romans 6:22).

So,
what can be done?Do we burn our smart phones? Of
course not! But, I think parents would be wise to at least consider these four suggestions.

Decide
on an older age for giving children smartphones.Personally, I don’t think children need them, ever. But, if you disagree, at
least consider letting them have unlimited technology at a later time. Your
nine-year-old doesn’t need a smartphone at all! (Consider giving younger
children simple phones that don’t connect to the Internet.)

Limit access. There should be times when parents don’t
allow children to be on their devices: mealtime, in church, in school, and in
social and family gatherings. It’s not ever acceptable for kids (or adults!) to
be on phones in these situations.

Include
your children in Christian service. Do ministry
together as a family. The “me generation” needs to be taught to serve the Lord
and others. If you don’t know what needs to be done in your community, ask your
pastor for ideas.

Travel
with your children and take a journal to write in and real cameras—not phones! You’ll grow as a family and make life-long memories.

Hi and welcome to In the Way! I explore many subjects, striving always to present them from a biblical viewpoint. Feel free to browse the tabs at the top for general categories. If you don't see what you're looking for, use the search button below. I'm a pastor's wife, mother of two, grandma, teacher, author, and blogger. I live in a quaint little village in the beautiful Basque region of northern Spain.

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Lou Ann is a young-thinking grandma with an infectious laugh. She rejoices in nature and other beautiful things--including people! She's an avid writer and practices several other artistic expressions, like singing when no one's listening, calligraphy, photography, and even "serious art." Lou Ann loves her Lord Jesus Christ, family, and her church.