(PILOT sits, facing the audience, as if in a cockpit. We assume hes a PILOT, that is. Eventually, we will figure out that he is a school teacher. But not yet )

PILOT

Good morning. I just want to say, before we get started, that Im sorry about the delay in getting off the ground here.

It seems there was some sort of problem with the metal detectors out front, so its taking longer than usual to get everyone through security.

But now that everybodys here and the doors are sealed, I think we can get going.

But, yknow, before we do that. I just want to say something - because this has been on my mind for awhile now  Ever since I got back from Costa Rica.

You see, I was there recently - I just got back from my mission to Coast Rica, in fact. And what I saw there  and the experience of seeing so many lives touched by our Lord and Savior  well, its really taught me something about the power of Christs teaching.

And the importance of being, not just a follower, but a teacher yourself.

Because Jesus was not a disciple. He was a teacher. How often we forget that.

And while Im thinking about it, Id like to just do something here: If I could just get a show of hands. Anyone who is a Christian, please raise your hand. Right there where your sitting. If youre a Christian and born again, just put that hand up.

And anyone whos not raising your hand. If your hand is not in the air right now. I just want to say this: That youre Crazy. Youre nuts if youre not a Christian.

And I think you should spend the rest of your time here - Whatever time we have remaining - Thinking about that.

Or better yet. Why dont you look around you at the people with their hands in the air. And if you could find the one nearest you  it may be someone behind you  Why dont you go ahead and spend the rest of class talking to them about their faith.

And, Christians  dont be afraid to keep those hands up  Go ahead and answer their questions. And if you need a moment to pray together, why dont you just come up to the front and we can all pray together. Okay? Great. So lets go.

Now, of course, the other thing we have to do first - that we always do before we get started  Could you all to raise your right hand. All of you. Not just the Christians. And place it over your heart. And well say the Pledge of Allegiance.

And I just want to remind you  as we do this  that this is a pledge. An oath, if you will.

Which you are required to repeat, each and every morning. Just like saying your prayers.

This is a Holy Oath of Allegiance. To our flag. Our nation. And all of its symbols.

So I want you to really think about that, as you repeat after me.

(He emphasizes all of the key words REALLY POINTEDLY.)

I pledgeallegiance to the flag. Of the United States of America.

And to the republic, for which it stands. One nation. Under God

(significant pause, before continuing)

And were running out of time, so were just gonna skip over liberty and justice, and get right to your Science Homework.

Show of hands: Can anyone tell me what Gravity is, and who created it?

(Pilot FREEZES, his hand in the air, kinda like a Nazi salute.)

(Enter a SECOND PERSON)

SECOND PERSON

Religious coercion:

Unsafe in our skies.

Unsafe in our schools.

(BLACKOUT)

NOTE: The word "class" on the first page, is the first clue that this is a classroom and not an airplane. But DO NOT highlight this word. It should be a throw away  a hint that theres something odd about the way this guy is talking  but they should not figure out that this is a class room until the pledge.

THIS SCRIPT IS COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL AND MAY NOT BE DOWNLOADED, TRANSMITTED, PRINTED OR PERFORMED WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR