Summary

A third helping of satisfies the appetite of fans of smart humor with a fresh collection of stories honoring those who continue to improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in a sublimely idiotic fashion! Included are over one hundred stories of award-winners, honorable mentions, and (debunked) urban legends verified by the author and endorsed by website readers together with a few returning all-time favorites, and exclusive material never before seen

Darwin Awards are not for everyone+only a select few earn this dubious distinction. Review the rules, the categories, and the evolutionary concepts underpinning the Darwin Awards. The Darwin Awards

Defined 2 The Rules 4 The Categories 9 Survival of the Fittest 11

Chapter 1 Law Enforcement

Crime Does PayIn this chapter lawbreakers and law enforcers bump elbows in an informal competition to see who is best suited to lose the fight between good and evil. Inept bunglers from both sides of the law, from con artists to beat cops, from judges to crooks, astonish us with their casual disregard for the +natural laws+ of physics. Discussion

Picking the Winners 16 Darwin Award

Convince the Jury 21 Darwin Award

Faulty Aim Fatal 23 Darwin Award

Chain Saw Insurance 24 Darwin Award

Truck Stop 26 Darwin Award

Antlers Ahoy! 27 Darwin Award

Skeleton Key 29 Darwin Award

A Rocky Roll 30 Darwin Award

Booby Traps Trap Boob 31 Darwin Award

Caveat Emptor 33 Darwin Award

Jet Ski Spree 34 Darwin Award

Risky Reenactment 35 Darwin Award

Return to Trees Fails 37 Darwin Award

Flamingo Gunfight 38 Darwin Award

Tired Ammo 39 Honorable Mention

Short Arm of the Law 41 Honorable Mention

Familiar Knickers 42 Honorable Mention

I Shot the Sheriff 43 Honorable Mention

Parole Calling Card 45 Honorable Mention

West Virginia Alibi 46 Personal Account

Copper Clod 47

Chapter 2 Men

Omega MaleIn this chapter men meet their inner idiots as they test their testosterone levels by petting sharks, kissing snakes, and chasing beer cans. Only when it+s too late do these would-be alpha males unexpectedly realize they+re actually ... omega males. Discussion

Glowing Green Monkeys 50 Darwin Award

Slip Sliding Away 53 Darwin Award

Foolish Courage 55 Darwin Award

Mortal Insult 56 Darwin Award

I Can+t Swim! 58 Darwin Award

The Smoking Gun 60 Darwin Award

Library Return 61 Darwin Award

Cactus Crunch 63 Darwin Award

Well Trained 64 Darwin Award

Roadkill 65 Darwin Award

Blowhole 66 Darwin Award

Fuzzy Fights Back 68 Honorable Mention

Beer Chaser 71 Honorable Mention

Shark Petting Zoo 72 Honorable Mention

Student Film Folly 75 Honorable Mention

Twice the Pain 76 Personal Account

Rectum Nearly Killed+m 77 Personal Account

Repeat Offender 79 Personal Account

Wag the Dog 80 Personal Account

Sexy Snack Slays 82 Personal Account

Stag Party 83 Personal Account

Uncle Rick+s End 85

Chapter 3 Explosions

Short Sharp ShockThe destructive nature of fire and explosives has long been a lure for the more adventurous among us. But a fascination with all things flammable can lead to trouble, as shown by these eyebrow-searing tales of grenades, gelignite, bombs, gasoline, and flaming alcoholic desserts. Discussion

Flames 88 Darwin Award

Blown Away 93 Darwin Award

Wrong and Wronger 95 Darwin Award

Rocket Tester 96 Darwin Award

Saw a Grenade 98 Darwin Award

Fir Kills Tree Trimmer 99 Honorable Mention

Shell Necklace 101 Honorable Mention

Wet +n+ Dry Shop Vac 102 Honorable Mention

Phenomenal Failure 103 Honorable Mention

Pumped Up! 104 Honorable Mention

Hunger versus Fear 106 Honorable Mention

Baked Alaska 107 Personal Account

Famous Last Words 109 Personal Account

Acetylene Fun? Not! 111 Personal Account

Backyard Body Surfing 112 Personal Account

Blasting Expertise 114 Personal Account

Chemistry Lesson 116 Personal Account

Christmas Fireworks 118 Personal Account

Firebug 120 Personal Account

Flashy Chef 123 Per

SD_ILS:1247938

9781593160142

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