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Drunk Off Power: Who's Bigger, Jay Z or Beyoncé?

Disclaimer: If you get upset over arbitrary determinations arrived at via arbitrary criteria only employed to fit an author’s arbitrarily decided upon narrative, the following piece contain triggers you will not enjoy. Sorry.

If the Grammys proved anything, it's that Jay Z and Beyoncé are just better. (Remember, they started and then, via their excellence, ended the event within the span of one song.) They are better than everyone. Oh, you do one thing really well? And it's convince new girlfriends to watch The Wire? That's great, and it's an important service, but you don't do that half as well as Jay Z and Beyoncé just, you know, exist.

But which star shines brighter? Who is bigger, Jay Z or Beyoncé?

We can determine who's currently earning more (Beyoncé), who has more #1 records (again, Beyoncé), and who has performed at more weddings in Kazakhstan. But who is the most important? Who has contributed more to our culture? In all likelihood Jay Z gets the big piece of chicken in the Carter-Knowles household—Beyoncé is, you know, from the South—but who actually deserves it?