Unhorsing the Hegemonic Emphatic Absolutely

June 28, 2012

A man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waitress asks him whether he wants to have something to drink, to which he answers, “A glass of Sancerre, please,” whereupon the waitress responds with the currently ubiquitous and hypertrophic substitute for the affirmative in American English (particularly among younger speakers), “Absolutely.”

For those who lament the demise of the simple word “Yes” and share my animus against its replacement, I offer the following alternatives (in order of personal preference) as an antidote to “Absolutely”: