"Have faith that people do their best. I don't know anyone who would eat with pigs out of a trough in a muddy barnyard if he knew that a well-prepared meal was on the table in a clean house - do you?" Greg Baer

"The Secret in healing Narcissism is not to heal it at all, but to listen to it. Narcissism is a signal that the soul is not being loved sufficiently. The greater the Narcissism, the less love being given." ~ Thomas Moore, 'Care of the Soul'.

Q. Is it really possible to heal NPD?

A. Anything is possible. You do not have to be a negative statistic on a probablity curve of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Last night I went out with an old friend. I have only seen him briefly in the last 10 years but from 1980 to 1986, he was one of my closest friends although we were never a 'couple' as such. We shared a house for years and he supported me through my hospitalisation for mania and helped me during my recovery.

We had a great time last night and I think, from some things that he said, that there is a possibility of a relationship, if I choose to encourage him. Not sure if I'm ready for that yet but it sure feels good to have renewed this friendship. Time will tell if anything else eventuates.

I have been able to share at least some real feelings with my Father over the last few days. Kind of amzing because my current state is such that all my feelings are more tender than ever before. I'm not sure if he's getting all of it but at least there is some effort.

---You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

Maximus: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

Maximus: I knew a man once who said, "Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back." Commodus: I wonder, did your friend smile at his own death? Maximus: You must know. He was your father.

Maximus: "All else is just shadows and dust...shadows and dust."

------------------------

There is a beauty in the heroic that inspires me. Maximus has ever been my favorite movie character. What we do in life, echoes in eternity.

Matt

---You know, of course, where this other world lies hidden. It is the world of your own soul that you seek. Only within yourself exists that other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself... All I can give you is the impulse, the key. I can help you to make your own world visible. That is all.- Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf

On Saturday, it was 110C here and by Monday it was 55C - what is going on with the weather?!! Anyway, it is raining and the weather is cooler which is such a relief after a week of not being able to move except to sit in a cold bath.

I've been having fun singing aloud and laughing at how way off my own voice is... old Shania Twain tunes mainly. All of you just be glad you don't have to listen. My cat is not so lucky.

Matt

P.S. Balbrenny I hope you meant 110F and not Celcius... I knew Australia could get hot but not that hot!

---You know, of course, where this other world lies hidden. It is the world of your own soul that you seek. Only within yourself exists that other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself... All I can give you is the impulse, the key. I can help you to make your own world visible. That is all.- Herman Hesse, Steppenwolf

My new therapist is hounding me to develop a social life and explore interactions with people. Last night I talked with someone who lives down the street from me. We discovered we actually have something in common. Baby steps, baby steps.

Had a good session in therapy yesterday. I feel like I am really making progress, especially around the area of reclaiming my own life. And the potty training is going great!!! Which shows me my son is also adapting well. I'm less afraid of divorce now that I know for sure that I can be happy living by myself!

The good news is I slept for a combine four hours last night. The most I've slept in a week. The bad news can be found elsewhere...

---You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self . .. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime , you are the only one you will never lose.

The Healing Narcissism And Disorders of the Self Community is not affiliated in any way with any mental health professional or agency. The advice given is from personal experience and should never be used as a replacement for therapy from a qualified licensed professional. If you are having a real life emergency and live in the United States please call your doctor or 9-1-1.