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Regrets from the Future

Tag Archives: true story

There are times when the world doesn’t turn in our favour, times when the sweetness of your voice echoes too deep in my memory, times when I fear chance will not dare let us cross paths again. In these moments, my beloved one, there are some simple truths that give me great comfort.

All that you are, and all that I am – every constituent part – has existed since time began. Each part of you, each part of me, has been part of life for hundreds of thousands of years. Given that all we know is infinite, in the vast ocean of time there exists perfect iterations of us, made from the exact same constituent parts, and they will meet and love a thousand time more. No – in some perfect place, at the beginning and end of this cosmic cycle, everything that is you and everything that is me will exist as one entity. What joyous reunion!

As I watch upon a sea of lovers, I know that as I and you began as one, so they were once one with us. Every love story that plays out is another configuration of us, another love story we have lived in time, another life we will live in time.

And for all that I know: that I am forever with you adrift in eternity, that one day these configurations of you and I may unite and love perfectly – that makes this world much easier to bear. I will love you as countless fathers, brothers, and sons. I will be the one you love a million times, and I know I will love you once more.

The fight for life started long before we were born. The odds were incredible. Hundreds of thousands of possible gene combinations, and you were the successful one. Many of you were murderers. You absorbed your twins. Your parents never knew, and you never knew either, but in the beginning there were two, maybe even four of you. You murdered them all. You thought they were gone forever, but part of their genetic material influenced you. There are impulses you have that you can’t explain. A strange patch of skin that isn’t quite the same shade as the rest. A single hair that grows in the wrong direction. These are the only things that remain of your twin.

When you are feeling lonely, remember this: before you were even born you murdered the one person who would have understood you.