52 Comments

I think the picture is nice. I think they are going to fight. I think the setting is a felld. I think hear guns shooting. I think also hear canons. I think see horuser i can see smoke. I can smell smoke. I think the men are running towards some thing. I think the men feel brave. I also think the men nervous to fight. I think the men are going to fight a country. I think the men are angry. I would not want to be in the picture.

I think the men in the picture feels like fearless and scared and cool.I think the men has guns,sword,bow or arrow.I think 100 or more people going to fight other countries.I think 30 or 40 will still be alive.The horse feel scared and fear less and strong.I don’t want to be in the picture because I will be scared.I like the picture its is nice and cool.I like how its painted with oil paint

If I was in there I will feel scared. I think the soldier will scary go fight with the Vikings! Also I think the Vikings will feel terrified but the Vikings think they can win! So if I was there I will slowly go at the back of the soldier.

I think that the Vikings will win! Because the Vikings are good at fighting!

Good effort Sasi. I like that you have made a mental image of what it would be like if you were at the battle. Vikings were a long time before this army, so they would not fight. Next time think about more writing skills to use in your work, for example 2A, double ly, last word first word. Thanks for sharing.

One nice and beautiful day, the British armies were bravely and wisely so they saw the Russian armies, so the British hide and the Russian came closely and nearly so the British suprise them and kill them. Finally, the British have the vitory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great effort Fame. I really like that you are trying to use ‘double ly’ sentences in your work. Remember though ‘double ly’ needs describe a verb, for example “British armies were bravely and wisely….” What verb could we put there? Thanks for sharing.

Long time ago one sunny and lovely day there was a gigantic and big battle between the British armies and the Germany armies.Before they started the fight the British made a plan they were thinking cleverly and quietly however the Germany were busy thinking about what will they have if they won the fight.The fight started the bravely and wisely British armies started following the plan they ran quickly like lightning and kick the Germany armies so hardly and quietly.Quietly because they were at the back and they don’t want the Germany armies to know.When the British armies kick them their horses kicked the Germany armies the Germany armies get out their swords but too late the British already killed one of the Germany and the British killed all of the Germany armies with the help of the kindly and helpfully British horses the British walked quickly and happily back home.I predict that if the Germany armies were still alive and they lose they will walked sadly and slowly back home and the British armies won hooray!

Great effort Prim! I can see that you have tried really hard with this work and you have shown a great understanding of ‘double ly sentences’. I also noticed a simile and last word first word in your writing, too. Keep up the great work! Thanks for sharing.

Long ago in world war one there was a battle between Russia and British.Before they have a battle Russia and British. when they make a plan they are ready to battle.the British carefully and quickly shot the gun to the Russia.Then the British is good at shooting gun so they killed all the Russia people. So,the British felt bravely and trusty.

Thanks for sharing Minnie. The writing is about the picture, right? Because, guns were not yet invented in this old picture. Next time study the picture carefully. Also, please double-check that you have punctuation in the right places.

I feel scared. Scared because everything seems to be fast and furious. We are holding our swords high up in the air and ready to fight our enemies. We are trying to control our horses and trying to keep them calm. However, frighteningly and worryingly the horses were running in all directions in the battlefield. The smell of smoke from the cannons make me feel dizzy. And I am almost fainted. Suddenly the sound of the cannon wakes me up.
We all fight bravely. Finally, we lose about 90 men in our team and about 90 of our enemy were dead. About 60 of us and about 60 of them survive. This fight is a draw!

This is a fantastic story Namton. I really enjoyed reading about how you described the setting and your own feelings in the story, too. Also, great use of ‘double ‘ly’ sentences, too. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

one day there was a mighty and bravely British army. The Africa army knows that the British army were strong so they start the fight ! The British ran as fast as a lightning and the British victory because the British army killed all the army.

Good effort Phoenix. The simile in your work makes the writing more exciting, well done! Remember, sentences need to begin with capitals. Also, adverbs ‘ly sentences’ need to describe verbs, for example “there was a mighty and bravely British army…” There is no verb for “bravely” to describe. Thanks for sharing.

I think the setting is at the castle. They are fighting with another knight. They are ridding horses. The sky is smoke now. The men are angry. The knight are putting bullets in the gun. I think knights will win. If I’m in the picture… I will get swords, weapons, guns… to win! And I can smell smoke, hear weapon shooting on me. But I’m ridding a horses so it will go very fast than the weapon shooting on me.

Long time ago there was a battle between the British and Russian.They bravely fight.They was as strong as a bear.They both think in there mind that they was going to win the fight.The soldiers kick them very hard they almost fall of from them horse.Someone from the British already kill someone from the Rissian.Finally the British win the fight!The Russian get hurt.The british quickly and happily run back home.I think that the Russian will never give up and will have a fight again.By:Aom

Great effort Aom. I like how you used similes to make your writing more exciting. Also, good use of ‘double ly’ sentences, too. Next time you are writing about an event from the past (long ago) think about using past tense verbs. Thanks for sharing.

I think the men in the picture feels like fearless and scared and cool.I think the men has guns,sword,bow or arrow.I think 100 or more people going to fight other countries.I think 30 or 40 will still be alive.The horse feel scared and fear less and strong.I don’t want to be in the picture because I will be scared.I like the picture its is nice and cool.I like how its painted with oil paint

Long long time ago, there was a war between Russia and France. The French soldier felt bravery and mighty. They felt as strong as a bear. Soon after, the Russia soldiers attached the French first. Suddenly, the French fought back. It was an epic battle, 15 soldiers of French died but only 5 soldiers of Russia died. Later, the storm came, the soldiers could not see anything. The storm ended but all of soldiers of French died because the Russia soldiers had better horses and then French got defeated. I think the Russia soldiers were safe and the country were safe. I feel a little bit scared because if I was in that war, I might be panic and ran away.

Great effort Matthew. I like that you have used time order words to organise your story. Also, good use of similes to make the writing more exciting. Next time, think about how you could use ‘double ly’ sentences in your writing, too. Thanks for sharing.

I think the men are charging to war. The gunsmoke is firing. They have 2 castles. There are 10,000 troops, horces , and weapons in the battlefield. The men are shooting cannons and killing people on opposite side. I think the red team will win because P house have my best friends and it is my favorite color. Each team has 5,000 troops. As the horces gallop, the troops fight. On the battlefield,the teams smoke gunfire, cannonfire, and horces charge. All of the troops fight a partner
On the other team. Red team wins because the blue team give up. Red team celebrates because of their victory. They go to their castle.

I will feel scared because I am a girl and I am week. The British fought bravely and fearless. But the Russia didn’t give up, both were two strong to win each other. Then the British fought till they were tired so, the British shot the cannon balls. But the Russia got bigger cannon balls and the sound was so loud and nosey. It was like BANG BANG! There were smokes everywhere if I as there I would sneeze. But the British and the Russia all died because they were to strong to fight each other. This might happed at year 1667. By Donut

Good effort Donut. I like that you have described the environment for this story and you have clearly made a mental image of what it would be like for you if you were actually there. Next time, double check spelling, for example “week” is used for days. But, “weak” is an antonym for strong. Thanks for sharing.

I think the men feel fearless and nervous. This team are light and the other are heavy the smell is like a smoke and the sound is ”Boom! Bang!”. The horses mad at them to, this country is America. America is fighting with Austria and the winner is America!!!.

I feel very scared of the battle wee are going to start with another group. The battle day start to begin. The other group is having a plan and we will have a plan too. Finally we are going to defeat them.

I think the picture is very nice and cool. The people painted the picture with oil. I think the setting is a battle ground. I think that they were testing to be solider to safe the earth. I think that the men feel fear. If I were in there, I would hear guns shooting, cannon balls and house running. I think that the gray horses were wearing armor. There were 360 men who fighting.

One day the British and Russia army’s were have a mighty and fearless war there was 5,0000 British people and 7,0000 Russia people the English people thought that they would win when the war. They started, all people ran straight in to the middle. All the Russian people died and the people in the British almost all died. So when the British people went back home they celebrated there victory. The End.

Thanks for sharing Jack. You have shared some important details here, well done. Next time I want to see you use more writing skills in your work, for example time order words to organise the writing. Similes to make the writing exciting. Thanks for sharing.