And the next thing you know, all your bilingual hard work has paid off and the gang is ordering a round of tacos. And 3 pm just became really fucking delicious.

Success.

2. Be an oversensitive asshole

The crew is on the line and they’re chit chatting about future goals and suggesting that you click through the Powerpoint they sent over not so long ago. And then suddenly your panties get in a theoretical bunch and you’re all like:

“CLICK OVER TO SLIDE 13 ABDULLAH? FUCK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN ATTITUDE!”

Furthermore causing a scene in the workplace like:

Abdullah gets. What Abdullah deserves.

3. Compromise your current location

As far as Bill and Judy know, you’re sittin high and mighty in your goddamn discount chair!

#Employeeofthemonth

Until suddenly you’re all like:

“Yes, yes making a note of that right now Candace (FLUSHHHHH)

And Candace is all like:

But you’re hanging out like:

Sucker.

4. Completely overreact at all times to absolutely everything

When Brenda says “Hi” you say:

BRENDAAAAAAA IN DA HOUUUSEEEEEEE

When Mark says he’s going to jump on another call really quick you say:

AHHHHH SNAP LOOK AT YOU SWITCHIN UP LINES AND SHIT.

When Dale says sales have been down lately you say:

When Patricia say’s she’ll set up next week’s meeting for next Wednesday at 4 pm. You’re like:

“FUCK YES YOU WILL YOU PUNCTUAL MOTHERFUCKER. I WILL BE THERE WITH BAGELS AND A SMILE THAT YOU WONT BE ABLE TO SEE.”

– Cue in the fog horn –

And the confetti:

5. Repeat everything like it’s your idea

So you’re on the phone but you’ve been zoning the fuck out. You were supposed to bring new strategies to the virtual table today.