tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post8193360490883865028..comments2013-07-09T09:01:46.167-07:00Comments on Men Need Feminism: Ally Work: Argument and InfluenceJeff Pollethttps://plus.google.com/104880791314597205982noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-74335562194112018242007-09-14T19:09:00.000-07:002007-09-14T19:09:00.000-07:00I've been using this blog to gather strategies.So,...I've been using this blog to gather strategies.<BR/><BR/>So, two things:<BR/><BR/>In a confrontation with an anti-feminist or a non-ally, I've found that "Not cool, man," works every time I had to use it.<BR/><BR/>Jeff, your description of your mother's reaction to your Lego toys inspired me to start teaching feminism to the two young sons of a couple of friends of mine. "Is that fair to say that Mrs. B-- has to do all that by herself?" and so on.Bach-usnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-40449921242255312922007-09-14T09:09:00.000-07:002007-09-14T09:09:00.000-07:00Thanks for the comments, all. I think it's interes...Thanks for the comments, all. I think it's interesting that, regarding my post which is partly about how to interact with other men and change some minds, we end up with some confusion around communication between men right off the bat! <BR/><BR/>What I mean is that I don't think we have good, rule-of-thumb strategies for interacting with other men around this stuff, men who are and who aren't feminists included. Geo supports more 'supporting confrontation', for instance, while Erik isn't sure whether sensitivity is always needed. <BR/><BR/>I think one of the things I really want to think about is how much sensitivity is needed, given our audience choice (people we tend to agree with or people we tend not to count as different audiences) and our goals (do we want to change minds more than we want to get our points across? do these two goals always dovetail, or do they always divide us?). <BR/><BR/>Thanks for all of the suggestions. I'm for most of them, though I think stuff like how we confront other men, how to deal with porn, and even pop culture feminist analysis gets pretty complex pretty quickly (on ST:TNG for instance, there was also Troi and Tasha Yar, who was the security chief; also, arguably the most popular ST show, Voyager, had a woman captain who was the centerpiece of the show).<BR/><BR/>Maybe I'll take some of your suggestions and tease some of that out...jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13789663140920958914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-52053047066559817442007-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:002007-09-13T23:13:00.000-07:00Well, if it is any consolation, Jeff, our philosop...Well, if it is any consolation, Jeff, our philosophical conversations about womens' fear in the dark awhile back helped me the following semester in my Foucault class.<BR/><BR/>It also made me want to go back and read/re-read through the Philosophy Canon to fill in some gaps.Eric Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667607146976174330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-25930749994304496592007-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:002007-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:00Erik,Your words above were Great! In my #2 - I w...Erik,<BR/><BR/>Your words above were Great! In my #2 - I wasn't clear - what I meant - was supportively confronting our Male Allies - such as Men we might be working with. I think it important to support - our allies.<BR/><BR/>Confronting "other" men is important. How we do it can also be important. Where we come across as condescending and really don't speak clearly about Specific Things we object to - as opposed to the Men Themselves - what we may do tends to feed our own egos, rather than being helpful.<BR/><BR/>Saying for Example something like: "You Sexist Bastard" - or similar - speaks clearly to our Displeasure - but doesn't speak to Whatever Said Man might have said - that ticked one off.<BR/><BR/>What you said was highly insightful and impressive! Don't apologize for your age or imply that it gets in your way because you obviously have taken in a lot of great insights and feelings!<BR/><BR/>Thanks@geohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13454863293588730573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-50847698212424185192007-09-13T20:16:00.000-07:002007-09-13T20:16:00.000-07:00Yeah, I still feel like a very young feminist/ally...Yeah, I still feel like a very young feminist/ally so I only have inklings, and they are maybe more specific than you were wanting, but here goes...<BR/><BR/>1) As geo said, confronting other men. I'm not sure whether sensitivity is always needed. Sometimes just speaking your mind and leaving it at that can be effective. Men can often respect that.<BR/><BR/>2) Checking our privilege. The <A HREF="http://snowedin.net/blog/index.php/2007/07/14/what-does-it-mean-to-check-your-privilege/" REL="nofollow">checklists</A> are a great place to start. This is a constant struggle. I'm probably sexist and racist every day.<BR/><BR/>3) Balancing the scales. Use your privilege to amplify a marginalized voice. Donate the extra $0.23 you earn on the dollar to women's organizations.<BR/><BR/>4) Stop raping/sexually coercing women. I need to blog about this soon, because I've been thinking about it A LOT. But I'm quite certain almost none of our hands are clean here.<BR/><BR/>5) Learn to recognize sexism in culture (movies, music, etc). Boycott sexist stuff. Support feminist stuff. The cast of Star Trek is basically all male (except what, the doctor and the bartender?) Buffy is 50/50.<BR/><BR/>6) Shutting up and listening. Realize when you have decided your own voice is more important than a woman's and shut up. Realize that taking a conversation in a different direction than what a woman intended is a form of silencing her.<BR/><BR/>7) Stop consuming porn.<BR/><BR/>Those, off the top of my head, are the kinds of things I think feminist/ally men should be doing.Erikhttp://snowedin.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28989955.post-35797777004798931962007-09-13T18:43:00.000-07:002007-09-13T18:43:00.000-07:00Jeff,I appreciate you approaching a tough topic an...Jeff,<BR/><BR/>I appreciate you approaching a tough topic and doing so well with it!<BR/><BR/>I would like to suggest a number of areas that I find very important:<BR/><BR/>1.) Men working locally with other men - defining locally may vary - but for those of us in major urban areas this generally would be within our area or part of our area. <BR/><BR/>2.) Supportively confronting each other (men) - meaningfully listening and sharing kudos and disagreement - being sensitive to the feelings and honest.<BR/><BR/>3.) Really digging into issues in our work - no matter what the issues may be and<BR/><BR/>4.) Being supportive allies of others - on their issues<BR/><BR/>5.) Being allies of women, girls and boys - but not confusing this with cozying up to Women - for "fitting in" (which often means seeking warm and fuzzy feelings which may not be helpful for us.)<BR/><BR/>We need to build up - from the local and the major issue(s) we work on to the Larger Picture - having or working towards being grounded.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again!geohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13454863293588730573noreply@blogger.com