Unscripted, Real Life With Twins

Just when you thought I was gone

I honestly don’t even know where this month went. Life is FLYING by and I can’t seem to get it to slow down. I started an Etsy shop – be sure to check it out (click here). Favorite it, like it on Facebook, share it everywhere and let me know what I can make for YOU!! It started as a way to really take my mind off of things, my type of meditation if you will, and has turned into quite a fun little gig on the side. I have a whole THREE sales so you can pretty much just call me the Beyonce of Etsy.

I also got into the essential oils which, honestly, is a game changer. I encourage you to check out this site and ask me any questions you have. I use them for me, the kids, our dogs and I have oils diffusing at work as soon as I walk in the door (Calming Blend, anyone?)… game changer.

Enough with the shamless plugs. On to the really cool stuff. My kids.

We are coming up on 10 months now, if you can even believe that. The child-less Kayla is in a parallel universe somewhere making fun of moms like me. I cannot get enough of these kids. Oh, I’ve only posted 5 pictures of them today because I can’t decide which one is the cutest? Let me post 400 more. Oh, I haven’t told everyone about what new foods you’ve tried recently? Then, please, let me tell you about the new thing I did to make them laugh that I repeated for an hour so I could bask in their glorious giggles. But also, please, for the love of GOD, don’t leave me at home with them all day long.

It’s crazy but that’s the phase I’m in now. You see, in my almost 10 months of twin parenting, I’ve become quite the expert (that’s how it works, right?) and I’ve found that up to 10 months, there are 4 very distinct phases.

The Honeymoon Phase: This is sort of like when you first start dating or first get married. There is a period of time in which you see colors more brightly, music sounds better and you couldn’t be more in love if you tried. That’s the first week at home with your baby. You waited almost 10 (or 8 months if you’re like me and take the easy way out with pre-eclampsia) to meet this little being and now it’s here and wow, this is what love REALLY is. You don’t care about anything else in the world besides holding this little baby and promising to give it the best life possible full of love, laughter and joy. You cannot imagine EVER loving anything more than you love this little human (these little humans in some cases).

The “I’m gonna snap” phase: This lasts from week 2 until about month 6. This is the phase in which you wonder what the HELL you were thinking when you decided it would be cool to have kids. The crying, the fussing, the crying, the diapers, trying to get on a damn schedule and did I mention the crying? Dear GOD, the CRYING. Looking back, I’m HONESTLY not sure how we even made it out alive. There is nothing that brings a marriage closer than having twins. You have NO choice but to suit up, team up and conquer these two TINY assholes. You are SO sleep deprived, SO exhausted, still NOT healed from child birth and desperately trying to pretend like you have it together even though you’re not sure if you’ve ever been further from that in your life. You are not certain how you will avoid jail each and every day because you are certain that one wrong look from someone and that’s where you’ll be. At the end of the day, when you go to lay your tired head on that pillow for 45 minutes before your kids are calling, only one things for sure; you cannot imagine EVER loving anything more than you love these little humans (oh my god, I’m crying)…. #loser

Pins and Needles phase: This lasted about 2 months from 6-8 months. You have finally gotten to a time in which you almost think “I can totally make it through this day!!” just in time for your kids to decide they want to go through a sleep regression and party all night (#minimountaineers). You have had a few nights with sleep but you also know that at any point, you could get a reminder of what the previous 6 months were like. Pins and needles, all of the time, just waiting for something to start going down. You never know what’s about to happen, if it’s going to be an awesome day or a day straight out of hell but you do know one thing for sure, you cannot imagine EVER loving anything more than you love these little humans.

Guess I’ll Keep You phase: 9+ months. Once month 9 hit around here, I finally decided that I would keep them (joking, guys) (kinda). They are sitting up WELL on their own, they are rolling and trying to crawl which is hilarious to watch. They have really developed their own little personalities (that are freaking awesome, by the way) and they giggle.. ohhhh, those giggles. I love to watch them do something new everyday and be excited about it. I love watching them try new foods and try to figure out their little bodies. This has been, by FAR, my favorite month. Even though the days can be hard (likeeee, really hard) baby giggles really do make it worth it and the few extra hours of sleep don’t hurt either. This is all, of course, before they start walking and at that point, I’m sure I’ll need to be medicated but for now, all I know is that I’ll never ever love anything more than I love these little humans.

What’s been happening with you guys? My new years resolution was to start losing the baby weight. I dieted for a whole day before I decided that I would try again next year. Maybe the year after?