Tuesday, December 7, 2010

In the end, its really about a girl. Its not that this girl I have my eye on is attainable, because she's not. And while ultimately I'd love to have her, I accept the fact that I can't. The main thing is that I want to be able to have it. Its a matter of choice and availability.

I want to be able to look a girl like that in the eyes and know that I'm bringing a 100%. None of those bullshit lines people give themselves. "Oh well personality is what matters!", "Its whats on the inside that counts!".

Bullshit.

Do you buy a car with broken mirrors, dented doors, and a sluggish engine because it has "personality". No most people don't. We'd love to lie to ourselves that they do. But no. Just no.

I'm just at the point where I don't want to lie to myself anymore. I don't want to be a 2 out of 3 person. Frankly I'd like to be objectified for once. The pretty people always underestimate how precious that fact actually is. But being on the opposite for all my life has given me sweet perspective.

And so I spend 5 to 6 days of the week in the gym. I pump weights until I cry out trying to do that last rep. It won't be today and it won't be tomorrow, but eventually...eventually I will be the 3 out of 3. Mind, body, and soul. No "But he..." or "Well at least he..". I will be that complete package, so that the next time I see that girl. Any kind of girl. I won't doubt myself for any reason.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

So I learned some other important lessons about weight this week. Your weight can flucate wildly throughout the day. I gain/lose around 5 pounds a day, which gave me a heart attack at first. But after doing research I found out that this is perfectly normal. As well the best time to weigh yourself is in the morning. Valuable lessons learned indeed.

I really need to get some measuring tape so I can measure myself. I can tell my arms are bigger, but I can't prove it. Blah.

I find that I enjoy strength training far more than cardio. And when I do cardio I prefer the stationary bike, I just really hate running...

Slowly approaching all of my max's on my weights. I wish I had done this a long time ago. Its surprising how painless its been so far. I wonder what my first plateau will be.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

So supposedly the best way to stay motivated on the track to lose weight is through goals. Short term, half way and long term goals. I'm sure most people would pick very virtuous goals that reflect upon the core of human understanding and kindness. But me?

I'm motivated by simpler things.

I've always been cursed with the "Just friends" sickness. Despite how much I try I always end up being stuck in the vortex of ending up as friends with girls that I have interest in. Is it because of the weight or other things? Hard to say, but weight defintiely has to be a core issue. I mean how many girls want to be friends with like Isiah Washington or Shemar Moore?

Either way, I want be fit to spite the girls in the past. Yes its petty, awfully petty. But highly motivating me. Everytime I'm on the treadmill I think of my upcoming 10 year high school reunion and envision the looks on their faces. With every bicep curl I think of how I would turn them all down with a smile.

Honestly those thoughts have motivated me to lose weight in a way that nothing else ever has. I think these are the things people never admit to themselves and fitness. That sometimes you do it just so you can be smug, and is that really so bad? I don't think so.

So anyway onto the actually fitness part. On W2:D2 I rested as I was still sore from the previous day and work. But today I was back at it. The fruits of my labor in my strength training is starting to pay off. I precedded today to find my max on my weights. I think I've hit my max on everything except Leg Press (because I maxed out the available weights on the machine).

From what I've read if I want to build strength I shouldn't be able to go past 8 reps. I surpassed it on some of the weights I did but I think I'm going to find a weight and it to 20. Once I can do 20 for a week then I'll step up another 10 pounds. My muscles have never felt this big and powerful. Once I've dropped the fat from them I think my arms are going to be super sexy.