What happens to Bane after The Dark Knight Rises? In the latest spoof video from Funny or Die, the supervillain’s an average Gotham citizen complaining about traffic, contemplating sticking with The Newsroom, getting locked out of his car and struggling with bulimia.

“I thought I was fat,” says a slimmed-down Bane, played by Saturday Night Live alum Chris Kattan, in the video above. “I compared myself too much to other people’s figures.”

Bane After Batman takes place seven years after Christopher Nolan’s trilogy capper. Bane has been given 275,000 hours of community service (that’s 31 years, for those of you who like math) and has been ordered to take anger-management classes.

Despite repaying his debt to society, the villain is attempting online dating — “I send them a picture, they never respond” (sadface) — and making an effort to be a better person. He’s polite, friendly toward his neighbors and encourages people not to litter. But, Bane laments, “Sometimes I miss ripping out people’s throats and threatening the world with a nuclear bomb.” Also, he likes singing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” Then again, doesn’t everybody?