The Past

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past. I'm gonna include a cartoon above. Let me tell you the story behind it.

I was getting ready to build my house and I was staking out an area for the foundation. My neighbor was really upset that I was building. She threatened to call the cops. I was all legal and everything was cleared with the council, but I wanted to see what she was up to so, like a very intelligent person, I crawled through the brush under some trees and under her deck. I heard her dial the phone and call the department of environmental conservation. I was starting to take mental note of it when all of a sudden my cell phone started ringing, I started to freak out. She said in a very raspy voice, "Hello, hello. Is someone there? Is someone here?" I turned the phone off and sheepishly crawled back to my foundation. That was a close one.

I always seem to be getting in trouble with someone. I remember this one time we were going through Iranian customs. (This is in 1975 or so.) Well, we had some posters from China. You know, like real fascist looking stuff. It was kind of cool. Anyway, they wanted to confiscate the posters and being an intelligent person like I am, I was ten mind you. I said to the customs guy, "You can't do that! My Daddy will beat you up!" I started jumping up and down. They all started laughing. I guess it was a bit of comic relief going on there. They did end up taking the posters though.

One other time I was in Spain shooting for Spanish Elle. I was going through customs and the customs agent started giving us a hard time about the film. I had about 1200 rolls and he wanted to X-ray it all. Well, my assistant said we wanted to swipe every roll and we'd stick around to do it. (They swipe for explosives.) And then my assistant said, "I'd like to talk to the head of security." The customs agent said, "I am the head of security," and my intelligent assistant said, "Yeah? If you're the head of security, then I'm the president of France." No a smart thing to say to a man with a gun. I said, "OK, OK just X-ray everything. We'll call it art if it gets messed up."

That's about it for now. I'm pretty tired from therapy, Hope you guys have a good week. Love, B. Nice