The Date

So fast forward three years after Rosemary’s death, to 2005. It’s a sunny May Sunday morning; I’m now moved out of the family home, having a lazy Sunday lie in, comfortable in my flat that I live in with my then boyfriend. Those were the days before I had a child waking me up at 6.30am….so I could wake up and then choose to go back to sleep…oh what bliss!

I remember being in a dozy state of sleep, the sun shining on my face, beautiful and relaxed…until I hear that voice again. The voice that sounds like me…but isn’t. She tells me to wake up, just like before. But this time she gives me some more information:

Just as before on the night that my nan died, I wake up with a start. There was no presence this time except an overwhelming feeling that the date of September 15th was extremely significant and that the person telling me that, was my nan, Rosemary.

I grabbed my diary and jotted down the experience. I was very certain that I must write this date down so that if something happens, people would believe me. I then had a think about what it could mean and came up with these scenarios:

1) I could get engaged (yeah – chance would be a fine thing!) but hey, he could ask me. (for the record I asked him on leap day 2008, but that’s another story entirely!).

2) I could win the lottery…..???

3) Job offer…..

So these are all good things, then I think perhaps it’s not such a good thing. In the summer of 2001 I had a very vivid dream that I was in a large city with my family. Bombs had exploded and the tall skyscrapers were falling on all the people. I was running through the streets, with dust and mayhem and terror everywhere. A few months later, I watched in horror the atrocities of 9/11 play out on my TV screen…remembering every detail of my dream a few months before.

Another terrorist attack? It could be a warning. Or…someone could die. It could be the date of someone’s death. I didn’t want to think about that too much so I closed the book and decided to not worry, only time would tell.

And time did tell. Because the following month, in June, my grandad (Rosemary’s husband) began to get sick. Grandad Frank had thyroid cancer about 10 years previous and was in remission and doing ok, no major health issues, or so we all thought.

I know everyone loves their grandad but I can’t tell you enough what a fantastic man he was. He was tall and strong, big hands, wide kind eyes, loved a hat, sang and danced and joked around continuously. He had many friends and was well respected by everyone who met him. My nan’s passing was a blow to him, but he had managed to move on with his life and get himself on holiday a couple of times and spent time with friends and family. He had turned 81 and the general consensus was that he would live until 100!

But, he started to get unwell. He lost the use of his legs; he just collapsed out walking one day. Something was wrong, very wrong. Over the summer he was cared for by family members however his condition was deteriorating and he ended up in hospital in the August of that year.

During this time, I kept thinking about the date I was given and it was dawning on me that this could be the date that he might die. I would think to myself “is nan telling me that this is the date she will meet her husband again?”.

I was in a state of worry because I was due to fly out to Japan about 2 weeks before September 15th and I would be there on this date. It’s a trip we had planned to visit Craig’s brother who was teaching English out there. I was concerned that if this date was in fact for grandad, then I would not be there, I would be the other side of the world.

In the August that grandad was admitted into the hospital, unfortunately, a scan had revealed that cancer had come back and had gone to his bones. It was devastating news, there was nothing they could do for him, it was a matter of keeping him comfortable.

Frank’s personality became a shadow of his former self. He had lost the twinkle in his eyes. He began to change physically to have the look of someone with cancer. I don’t have to describe that, those that have seen a loved one at the end of cancer know this look.

We tried to keep his spirits high, especially my mum who would make him special lunches to take into the hospital and I remember me and my sister rubbing his legs with talc to get the circulation going and I remember him laughing at that.

The most important thing he wanted more than anything was to get out of the hospital and go home and stay at my mum’s house so she could look after him. So she made it her absolute mission to do this before he died. This sounds easy – it’s not. You have to sort out forms, resources, hospital beds, transportation, medicine applications…it was incredibly stressful however her determination was infallible.

So, it was the day before I flew to Japan. Grandad was still in hospital as he hadn’t yet been “released”. By this stage, I was pretty sure that dream prediction was for him. So, I went to visit him after work to say goodbye, for what I knew and felt was the last time I would ever see him alive. Should I have even gone to Japan, I hear you cry? Yes, because he would not have had it any other way. Frank had travelled around the world in the Merchant Navy and he would not have had me miss that trip.

When I saw grandad in that hospital bed, I could clearly see that his health had declined considerably from three days previous. This is what I wanted to say to him:

“Grandad, you are dying. I’m not going to see you again after today. I’m so sorry that this illness is taking you and that you have so many more years you want to enjoy because you are full of life and I know how much you LOVE life. I don’t want you to be afraid, because all the people that you have ever known that have ever loved you, are going to be there when you pass over. They have known about this time well before we did and have been preparing it for you. Don’t ever be fearful of what happens when death comes, because it’s a place with no fear and all you earthly, physical pain will be gone. I want you to know that even though I won’t be there when you pass, that you will be in my heart and I thank you for being such a wonderful influence in my life, I love you so much”.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t speak because I was so shocked at his sunken face and protruding cheekbones, shocked at how his head looked too big on his skinny body. He didn’t speak either. His eyes said it all to me. So I kissed his cheek, said goodbye and left the room. I walked down the hospital corridor with tears streaming down my face shouting at myself from inside at my pathetic weak young stupid self for not telling him all those things that I wanted too.

After that, I went to my parent’s house and spoke to my dad (Frank’s son-in-law), without my mum there. My dad was concerned that mum would not get grandad home before he died.

“Listen to me, you will get grandad home. You will get him home for only two nights. Then he will die on September 15th”

“That’s almost two weeks away…how do you know the date, Tanya?”

“Just trust me dad, but don’t tell mum please”.

We flew to Japan and had a truly unforgettable experience. I tried to keep in contact with home as much as I could, but I’m not ashamed to say that I found my holiday a release. I got lost in the magic of Japan, the lights, sounds, smells, the vast difference of the culture compared to my own, the stunning gardens, lively festivals, the serenity of the parks….the funny and quirky people I met, the food and strangeness of it all.

We chatted, drank and ate until the early hours every night…I lost track of dates and times. I went to bed one night towards the end of the holiday, after another great night out. Russ’ apartment was tiny, and Japanese tiny is TINY. Myself and Craig were asleep on the floor (it wasn’t luxury accommodation, but at that age, I didn’t care, however, I’m pretty sure that was the start of my lower back problems!).

I fell asleep and was woken up by what felt like a tall man, standing at the end of my feet. I could make the outline of his shoulders. I was scared and did my usual, cover over the head and try to go back to sleep.

The next morning, when I woke I realised that Russ had his work suit hanging up over the window…so that must have been my “man” ghost! Phew for that. We had a coffee and started getting ready for the day ahead.

Russ had a landline phone in his apartment and it rang just as I was coming out of the bathroom.

“It’s your dad Tanya,” said Russ, handing the phone to me. I knew in my heart he would only be calling for one reason.

“Sorry Tanya, grandad died last night. We got him home for 2 nights, just like you said”.

I was shattered. I instantly wanted to be with my family.

After I had spoken to my mum, I put the phone down and the boys made sure I was ok.

“What’s the date? Bloody hell!! I was so close on the date! It’s September 16th today!” I said.

Craig looked at me then said, “We are 9 hours ahead of England Tanya…….your grandad died on September 15th, English time”.

In my shock at my granddads passing, I had forgotten about the time difference.

That day, we visited a temple. It was a very quiet and spiritual place.

As I was walking around the temple, I kept thinking about my grandad and prayed that he would give me a sign that he was ok. Not long after asking for the sign, I received it in a form of the biggest and breathtaking butterfly I had ever seen. It fluttered around me and followed me for ages as I walked along the paths of the temple. To this day, my grandad uses butterflies as his sign for me and I’ve had some amazing times when he has come to say hello.

Grandad also visited me one night when I got back home from Japan. I was lying in bed before I fell asleep and felt him stroking my arm. I often feel spirit stroking my face, very rarely on the arm, but this was clearly different energy and a week or so after that, I visited a medium who confirmed that he had been to see me and was stroking my arm (I didn’t tell her what had happened).

So, I guess what I learnt from the whole experience is this:

– When I “hear” that voice, I need to listen and record any messages it gives me. I can say that I have only ever heard it twice in my life, never heard it since that morning in May.

– Our spirit family/soul group are very aware of what is coming up for us in our Earth time.

– Always try and tell someone that is dying that you love them, no matter how hard and emotional you find it. Just tell them!

Why did she give me the date? I have wondered this many times. I feel that it was for two reasons. To let me know that they were waiting for Frank, they knew he was getting sick and that his time on Earth was drawing to a close.

I also feel like my spirit team wanted to validate yet again to me, that there is life after death and that it’s another experience for me to collect to try and prove to others that this very much is the case.