Student Feels First Sense Of Adult Responsibility Being Lookout While Drunk Friend Pisses On Wall

Junior Larry Hendricks felt his first sense of adult responsibility on Friday night when he was the designated lookout for authorities while his friend, Ronnie Carney, drunkenly and publicly urinated on a wall.

“I thought I was going to learn how to do my own taxes first, but now I’m responsible for my friend getting a felony based on whether I can look out for cops,” Carney said. “There’s so much pressure here – I can’t imagine financially supporting a spouse and children at this point.Maybe I’m just destined to serve as public bathroom bodyguard instead. At least then I know I’ll actually be helping people.”

Carney plans the spend the rest of his college nights standing by pissed-filled walls serving as the lookout as he waits to see if the cops will show up even though the cops are busier giving jaywalking tickets.

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