Abused women “demand” their abuse: How MRAs make the abusers’ arguments for them

An Orlando man, Faron Thompson, was recently charged with battery and child neglect after an altercation in which he allegedly tried to force his fiancée to swallow her engagement ring when she tried to leave him. (More details here.)

This sort of abuse is depressingly commonplace when women try to free themselves from abusive and controlling men; indeed, if I posted every news account along these lines on this blog I wouldn’t have time to do anything else.

No, I mention this case because something that Thompson reportedly told police reveals a lot about the mindset of abusers. When they arrested him, police say, Thompson complained that:

Indeed, when I read Thomson’s reported remarks, the y immediately brought to mind something written not that long ago by Karen Straughan, the YouTube videoblogger who goes by the name of Girl Writes What. Straughan describes herself in her A Voice for Men bio as “the most popular and visible MRA in North America,” and given the rapturous reception her videos get on You Tube and on Reddit, this may not be an idle boast.

In the rather revealing Reddit comment I’m thinking of (which I blogged about earlier), Straughan suggested not only that abused women regularly “demand” the abuse they receive, but that many of them also get some sort of sexual charge from it. Oh, I’m sure she’ll deny that she really meant all that, but I can’t see any other way to read the following.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what article she’s referring to in the last paragraph — the one she says isn’t “seriously ethically questionable” — it’s a post from the repugnant Ferdinand Bardamu arguing that men should “terrorize” their partners because that’s the “the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.” For more about that charming piece, titled “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” see my post here.

I’m having less and less of a problem with calling the Men’s Rights movement “the abusers lobby.”

I’m sure there are some MRAs who are as repulsed by Straughan’s argument as I am. If you’re one of them, and want your movement, such as it is, to be remembered as something other than “the abusers lobby,” you need to call out all those MRAs who make such arguments. Might I suggest that you start by challenging the “the most popular and visible MRA in North America,” otherwise known as Girl Writes What?

Okay, I’m going to lose the snark for a minute, and talk to (Sic) Male seriously.

/disengages snark

Dude. What do you expect? You come onto a feminist blog, and you are not exactly impressive. You don’t say anything smart or incisive. You’re not funny. You whine like a little baby (see clip handily provided by Cassandra).

Why should we take you seriously? Why are you deserving of anything more than mockery? ‘Cos frankly, I’m not seeing it. You want respect? Earn it.

As the economy drops, alcoholism climbs, drug abuse increases… this sort of thinking will increase. Anything to take their mind off the pain of failure, or fear of failure, some men believe controlling their wives will make them whole. As long as women trade their safety for a nice house, there will be misery. However as more women become the bread winners, there will be fewer men needed. Children will look to their mothers, and fear their fathers. Their fathers will roam, afraid of living alone, willing to put up with anything not to be alone again. The mothers have their adult children to comfort them. I am one of those women. Now I am learning that many traditional marriages of my colleagues ended – a union on paper only. Separate housing. My divorce seems to be a mere formality. I left him a long time ago, but he forgets… “…my wife” he still says.

LBT — this is my problem with automatically respecting veterans, if they’re assholes, then being in war(s) doesn’t negate that!

Oh, pecunium, if you should happen to see this, my cousin did 4 and out, so there’s no way you’d have been anywhere near each other, thus answering that — he was out just before you were in.

Now, those are two veterans I respect, and my grandfather. Well, respect is the wrong word on my cousin, that implies he’s remotely adult like! I’m fond of him, but I still think of him as the teenager chasing little me around (back when I was happy…I wouldn’t trade those memories for the world)

Ick. My grandfather specifically doesn’t want it, and he actually deserves it (worst anyone has ever accused him of is cheating on his wife, but seeing how that was wife #2’s parents disapproving of the marriage, idk that I buy it)

Unlike my father, one of my cousins accused him of molesting her. And that I buy. And haven’t mentioned before huh? Yeah, he’s scum.

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