When told by my wife that our fifteen-year relationship was over, I found that everything in my life was upended. I took solace when friends and family pointed out I was no longer responsible for her personal happiness, just my own—and that of my four children.

I went into marriage as a bisexual kid, suspicious of monogamy. I was a good husband, and played by the rules. Now I'm single again, and wondering if I didn't have it right back then.

This blog picks up my new life in progress—the life of a parent, and pervert, in New York City.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Fleshbot and Good

This week’s Sex Blog Roundup at Fleshbot holds its nose and makes do with the man who’s available. He may not be Mister Right, but at least he’s Mister Right Now.

Those of you who enjoy stalking me will find me spinning tunes, getting fed and dancing with the bride.

Janie takes a listen to my tunes and is reminded of a past queer romance.

Bridget swallows hard and breaks some difficult news to my children—she will not be marrying their father because she is marrying another man. I think she actually shocked them.

This weekend, my family was part of the ceremony as she and Connor married. It was really, truly beautiful to see my sweet Bridget jump the broom with her handsome groom. I tell you, when Bridget gave up our sexual relationship to be with Connor, she totally traded up. That man is superfine. He’s so adoring of her, and—as readers of her blog know—perfectly kinky and sexy. They’ve got the hot monogamy game down pat.

As we danced at the reception, we were surrounded by people who love my friend and rejoice in her happiness. When good things happen to good people, it’s a good reminder that being good to people is . . . good. It comes back in goodness.

And that’s all to the good.

As my recent life has become fraught with challenges, I’ve been thinking about goodness. I always want to be someone people feel they can count on, and now, as I’m in a bad way, I’m grateful for the good people in my life. Bridget and Connor, for example—even in the midst of planning a wedding, they’ve been concerned for my family and our current situation. Honest to goodness, she was nearly apologetic about the timing of her honeymoon.

Compare that to this. Now and then, I’ll get an email from someone upset that I’m not available to fuck or hang out. And I think: really? Do I have to put out in order to maintain this relationship? That’s not good.

I’m glad to be a good lay, but these days, I can only satisfy people who are good enough to be good.

6 comments:

You deserve goodness and good people. It's fabulous that you have good people in your world and that you can recognize those that aren't. I know I will be happy that you continue to share and hopefully you aren't demanded of more when you can't give it. Luck to you and yours during this more difficult time and congratulations on being able to share in the joy of Bridget's day.