My psychologist told me that we could NOT be sexual in frontof our kids...i.e.; pat on the butt, rub of the thigh, anything that may be thought of as "SEXUAL" is off limits infront of the kids...as these things/actions are considered bythe LAW and psychologists/counselors and so on as "sexualabuse" of the children...so this leaves only a light kiss, a hug or holding hands....I'm pissed off....

Where the fuck are our kids supposed to learn how to properlyshow affection in public or our home? What is consideredacceptable?

The fucking internet? Porn? Their fucked up friends? Television?Movies? Radio? Advertising? Aren't these media outlets sexually abusing our children w/ their very sexual content?Isn't it even more so than what we show to our children?

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

Victims and survivors of sexual abuse are naturally going to have their boundaries skewed a little when it comes to what is appropriate in front of their kids or in public. While I don't have kids of my own, I've talked to my sister, who does have kids, a great deal about this. We both believe that the best policy is to be as careful as possible when it comes to any type of sexual contact, especially in front of kids. Why? Because sex has been used as a way to gain power over us, and we need to make sure we never do that to someone else even if it is "accidental" (if there is such a thing).

A case in point...I consider a pat on the butt or a rub of the thigh to be quite inappropriate behavior in public.

However, I also find it important to make sure that your kids see you and your wife showing each other affection. That would invovled kissing, hugging, and holding hands. Maybe even a little cuddling, like putting your arm around her while watching a movie, would be appropriate. But when you consider how appropriate a behavior you display around your kids is, I think the best question would be to ask whether or not you would do that behavior to your kids.

Bryan

_________________________Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs nowIs some new words of wisdomLike la la la la la la la la la.-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

Now it seems ANY/ALL DISPALYS OF AFFECTION ARE CONSIDEREDTO BE SEXUAL.....Now I'm supposed to just walk around lifenot showing ANY affection towards others or my family...

A HUG is considered SEXUAL...TWO BODIES ARE TOUCHING SOCLOSE YOU CAN FEEL THE OTHER PERSONS BODY...BIOLOGICALLYWE ARE SEXUALLY STIMULATED BY TOUCH...IT IS SCIENTIFICFACT THAT WE ARE SEXUAL BEINGS...NOW I'M BEING TOLD ICANNOT BE SEXUAL IN FRONT OF OUR KIDS? UGH....

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

There is a fine line here. I don't see anything wrong with walking up to your woman, holding her hips, and giving her a quick smooch on the neck, and I don't see anything wrong with a quick butt-pat every once in a while either. However, remember that the reaction of your woman is just as important as your action. If she shrieks and jumps when you pat her on the butt, perhaps you'd better refrain from doing it in front of your kids.

If you are rubbing your woman's hips, or if your pat turns into a grope, I think that's where the line is drawn.

_________________________Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs nowIs some new words of wisdomLike la la la la la la la la la.-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Agreed...If she ever did jump or get offended I would immediatelystop and an offer apology and request forgiveness...

But I'm being told that I cannot express any "sexual" contentwhat-so-ever in front of our children...this disturbs me verymuch considering I NEVER saw affection in our house growingup...except from the multiple sexual abusers....

We try very hard to help our kids to see that there are alternativesto what they are being exposed to outside of our influence ofthe family...we have already lost one(she chose the partygirl lifestyle) to the world and about to lose another to the influences of this sick twisted world...

So much for have morals...now I'm being told they are even wrong...

Edited by Frog (09/15/0704:12 PM)

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

But when you consider how appropriate a behavior you display around your kids is, I think the best question would be to ask whether or not you would do that behavior to your kids.

NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I..............

So if I wouldn't do it to my kids, then I cannot do it to mywoman in front of them?

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

I'm going back into my brain....I cannot live outside in thisworld anymore...back to internalizing everything....no wonderI do not have any friends....would rather be alone...

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

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