My Life As Mz. Bonafide Diva

Monday, April 27, 2009

I am going to have to make this quick... it has become apparent that I like to blog when I am not suppose to, but whatever, I am on my time.

I am blogging about Mean Girls. The movie with LiHo was one of my favs but this is a different type of mean girl. These are people who treat you like you are SUPPOSE to be like them but not WANT to be like them, overall haters to me, but I cannot help but love, for they are related to me, so they are there.

Don't you hate it when you have people like that in your family that try to make you feel bad about yourself because you are totally different from them. I just turned 26, yesterday actually, and I am still in the midst of perfecting my own Mojo, yet my sister treats me as if I am incapable of doing so by telling me what I should wear and who I should listen to. She tells me that my friends are Whack and idiots all the time. She may believe that she is insulting them and not me but she is insulting me. I chose those friends, and quite frankly, I would not have chose her because of the negative aura that she sometimes bring. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister. But because I love myself MORE I dont let her get me down on my choices.

I know I am not the only one with this family "flaw" because I have heard the complaints several times from friends and coworkers. Thankfully, my "whack" friends are secure enough in themselves not to let it get them down.

You can choose your friends, but not your family.

I hear that so much, but I feel like family was definitely put in your life purposefully and there is definitely something to get from them. They are like the guaranteed friend... the people that you don't want to like but you have to accept them and their differences.

The most important thing I want anyone who stops by to read my blog, whoever you may be, is to always stay true to yourself. You can't let anyone else define you. Not your friends, family or peers. Loving yourself first is what is going to get you through life

Friday, August 1, 2008

I want to express the IMPORTANCE of loving and appreciating yourself. As much as people want to show off, flaunt the goods and tell you how great they are, it is always evident in your eyes the love that you have for your self, and some people, as described above, are distant.

Love yourself. Take time to fully appreciate you because no one else will the way they are suppose to until you can. No husband or boyfriend, family or friend, girlfriends or wives. Because if you can't love yourself, it shows and others can't love you.

I have seen so many situations where a person forces their love on others. Serial relationships with people. Serial promiscuity. Abandonment for relationships. They strive to feel love from outside sources when in reality Love comes first from the inside.

It has taken me years to get to the point of self realization. I dealt with self esteem issues pretty badly and I took sometime to myself, released all dependencies and really took a look at the person that I have no choice but to deal with everyday, me. I took myself on dates and discovered new things, likes and dislikes, pet peeves and talents. I discovered new thoughts and realizations that can be hidden when you constantly dealing with other people and trying to please others that who you really are becomes hidden. You have to unveil the truth that is your spirit and love it and appreciate it. Life has been great since I did.

And if you have come to your self realization Great!! But someone you know hasn't. Let them know how wonderful life can be. Let them know that they don't have to be promiscuous, they don't have to be verbally, mentally, physically, emotionally abused, they don't have to be mistreated, lied to or cheated on. They don't have to be a hater or stuck in ruts. Because if they love themselves enough.... they for sure would not take it.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

By no means did I expect to blog twice in a day, but I have a bone to pick. And expect a few because it is my nature to express my feelings outloud whenever something or someone is out of line. So... I was on a little breakie-break from my whole packing deal (and I'm taking quite a few of those). And I decided to browse one of my top favorite blogs, TheYBF.com hoping there was a new posting to entertain myself with, and the particular blog was about Raven Symone being dropped from her record label. Ok, fine... not really something I was just that pressed about. What drew me to leave a comment on the post was simply because Natasha of YBF was talking about the new 90210 coming soon and mentioned Gossip Girl and I absolutely LOVE Gossip Girl and I simply wanted to state that on my comment. It was pretty lame and that is fine.....

Anywho on to the picking of the bone, so there is this - not so flattering- picture of Raven showing off her chubby side. Oh, and it was also mentioned that Raven sings a song at her concert about "Loving your curves" and someone, Mz. MaryJean, MPH, RD, to be exact made such a hasty comment about Raven, as followed:

"Ravne[Raven] needs to stop. That’s why we as Black people cannot get our weight under control because we are taught to “love our curves.”They’re not curves, Raven…you’re FAT!Own up to it and either do something about it or stop preaching to girls how wonderful it is!Being your size is unhealthy. Period. It places a great strain on your heart, and puts you at risk for nutrition-related diseases later on in life.I don’t acre[care] if you can sing and dance carrying all that weight around. Stop telling girls that it’s ok to look like you - because it’s not.Be responsible to the people who have made you wealthy.Signed,MaryJean, MPH, RD"Now I got what mz. mary jean was coming from but jeez could you have been any meaner about your response. And I understand its an opinion and I support expressing yourself but there is a way of doing it. Sooooooooo... you know I had something to say. I responded to her lil ass and this is what i said:

"this is why eating disorders and self hate is becoming more and more of a problem among women of color. Its understandable that being healthy is neccessary to live but that can be preach in a much more motivating manner than this comment. Its so horrible to put people down this way. There are better ways to approach this situation. I hope you don’t talk to your patients that way. And I am plus size and working towards a healthier lifestyle while still loving what i look like regardless. If you were my Dietitian talking to me like that, I’d say F-you and shove a smothered pork chop down your throat…. haters…."Ok ok, so the smothered pork chop deal was a tad bit harsh to some, but I'm sure mz. mary jean would feel the essence of my words. Not everyone needs to hear such mean words from someone who frickin' "registered" to help overweight people. Alot of overweight people are emotional eaters (which thank the Goodness I'm not) and would stuff thier faces after hearing such a downgrading comment. Anyways I was not happy about this ish.

Now my friends and neighbors, the purpose of this blog is to simply say please, UPLIFT those in need of guidance, do not downgrade. If you have someone who is struggling through something, do not judge... listen and motivate. Don't put them down when they are falling, reach out your hand and let them know you are there for them.

-Recently, it has become apparent that the stereotypic image of those suffering from eating disorders may not be as valid as once thought. A primary reason why eating disorders appeared to be restricted to white women seems to be that white women were the only people with these problems who underwent study. Specialists conducted most of the early research in this area on college campuses or in hospital clinics. For reasons related to economics, access to care, and cultural attitudes toward psychological treatment, middle-class white females were the ones seeking treatment and thus the ones who became the subjects of research.

-Data from a recent large, community-based study give more reason for concern. The results indicate that more African-American women than white women report using laxatives, diuretics, and fasting to avoid weight gain

-African-American women who are the most assimilated equate thinness with beauty and place great importance on physical attractiveness. It is these typically younger, more educated, and perfection-seeking women who are most at risk of succumbing to eating disorders.

I'm sure there are more. We like to think that eating disorders are more of a "white" issue but it is not. Previous studies showing that to be the case were not valid, therefore need to uplift our women, all women and let them know that they are beautiful and thier beauty should not be defined by thier size!

YES we need to be healthy and eat right and exercise daily, I know this.... but negativity and hateful comments such as ones that Mz. Mary Jean want to publicize is NOT the way to go. So my bone has been picked but I'm not completely over it. Hopefully someone has gotten something from this and will continue to support thier loved ones...

I'm suppose to be doing everything but this blog. I am in the midst of moving and might I say this is the last time I will be moving in the summertime. From here on out it will be requested that I move between 65 and 85 degrees. I am much too adorable to sweat like a pig.

Anywhooo, this is of course for introduction purposes only, but why blog. Goodness, I have gone back and forth with blogging for so long. Back a few years ago I attempted to start something on MSN but my mother threw a hissy fit and it was gone. It was a good one too, back in my Be Bad days when I was partying it up (too bad ya'll missed out, they are only inside stories now). I blog on Myspace here and there but it is so limited, so I'm give it another go round....

Now who the hell is Mz. Bonafide Diva.... well me of course. From about 20 feet I'm just another girl..... From 10 feet I appear to be shy and soft-spoken, well thats a misconception hon cause when you stand next to me, and really know who I am, Mz. Bonafide Diva states it all.

I am outspoken and quick witted as they come, I love to share my opinion on any and everything and love being heard. I hate keeping it to myself.....

So what can I do for you.... tell you about the world the way I see it.... from movies to politics, hell teach me a lil' something.... and whatever else I can shout about! (Cause I will)

Anyhow, I need to get back to packing, I'm not in Maryland yet (I Can't Wait Though!!)