Bamboozled No More! How does God Manage Heaven?

How does God manage Heaven?
There must be times when even the Angels rebel!
And what happens if the Saints stop marching?
Are there any biblical references or hints
About final destinations, or trial periods???
Who directs the traffic?
And how are those sins really weighed
in terms of importance? By Hollywood standards?
Are there special circumstances that can sway
A soul’s final destination?
And is that final destination really final?

Are there days when the traffic
Backs up at the Pearly Gates?
And who does the actual “paperwork?”
In fact, is paperwork actually a thing in Heaven?
And if so, which references does God consider?
Excellent grades? Essays?
Extracurricular activities like chess club? sports?
Cash, money, credit cards or checks with proper identification?
Just what does it take to get into heaven?
Do you face a jury of your peers, or strangers, or angels?
Can you change status with cash?

Does the criteria change from year to year?

Do you need documentation?
Does God look at immigrant status?
Does Heaven ever run out space?
Or is office politics an earthbound phenomenon?

Just how does God manage Heaven?
And just what will you do to get in?

Janet Cormier is a painter, writes prose and poetry, and performs comedy. JC prefers different and original over pretty. She loves collecting stuff, but cleaning not so much. Janet also talks to strangers…a lot. Her column now appears weekly on Oddball Magazine.

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