25: Da Vinci code cracked! The elephant did it

I never did find that burly European gentleman with the shaved
head and the penchant for serious water hostility. Probably for the best as I
couldn't have been held accountable for my actions! The week that followed was
tremendous fun. Now acclimatised to the Songkran flavour, I equipped myself
sensibly, wallet in plastic bag, camera in plastic bag and a choice of clothes
which didn't matter if I got covered with a barrel of river water (which was
bound to happen at some stage). As far as water fighting etiquette in Chiang
Mai goes, the only rule is that it all stops when the sun sets. Not everyone
sticks to this but most people do; I did see one man get covered in ice cold
water just as he finished the sentence: "You can't get me now, the sun's
already gone ...." SPLASH!

After sunset is, for some, the best part of the day; this is
because the famed Chiang Mai night bazaar opens. Here bargain hunters can have
a field day revelling in how cheap authentic handmade goods are sold for. Many
of the goods are hand crafted in the mountains by Thailand's famous tribes
(such as the long-neck tribe) who have been producing items like this for
centuries from natural materials, and at very low cost. However, you have to
have your wits about you while shopping at the night bazaar and knowledge of
Thai numbers and prices is a valuable asset. I stood behind an English holiday
maker trying to buy a hand-crafted elephant shaped wooden wind chime. The stall
owner offered 650 Baht (£9) which I thought was a reasonable price, the
man unflappably replied "I'll give you 150 Baht" to which the stall owner said
"Ok, sell." It is easy to see why many foreigners are a little more naive than
this well travelled man, and think that the first price offered is such a good
deal that they are willing to pay it. The item's true value is invariably at
least half of this original figure.

When travelling to foreign lands, working out the price of
things in our own currency always seems to cause problems, although Europeans'
problems have diminished since the inauguration of the Euro. A friend of mine
recently paid £100 for a map he bought from a small boy in Vietnam (The
maps' value was probably about 50 pence, his wife later had it framed for
him!). In Thailand it is especially important to know how much you are actually
paying for goods. Local merchants often increase their prices up to ten fold
just to test exactly how much foreigners (unbeknown as to the true local value)
are willing to pay. When I first moved to Thailand, I was constantly exchanging
the Thai Baht into English Pounds in my head whilst shopping. I realised after
about a month how dangerous this is. Everything is cheap here when you convert
its value into pounds sterling, it is important to stop this bad habit as soon
as possible and start thinking and counting in local currency. Now I realise
that, for example, a staple dinner such as Phad Thai (Thai style fried
noodles) should cost around 25 baht rather than the 100 baht I was willing to
pay when I first moved here.

Needless to say I got lots of
excellent and cheap bargains from the Chiang Mai night bazaar, whether I
actually needed any of things I bought is another story. The following day I
travelled to the Mae Sa elephant camp which recently found fame in the
local media after visits from Venus and Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova.
The camp houses 80 elephants and I was extremely impressed with the natural
surroundings and plentiful space provided for the elephants. This is in stark
contrast to camps I had previously visited in Bangkok and Ayutthia where the
elephants looked like they had malnutrition and were over-heated. I watched
elephants playing football and building a wall with huge tree trunks before it
was time for the main event. That is elephant painting!Mae Sa
holds two entries in the Guinness book of records, one for the largest painting
completed by an elephant, and the other for the most valuable painting
completed by an elephant (sold for $40.000) to an American man earlier this
year. I am no art critic but I was honoured to be in the company of one bull
Elephant whom, it is claimed, is regarded by many as being at the top of the
world-wide elephant artistry field!

I have enjoyed my holiday in Chiang Mai immensely but (on a sour
note) a downside was reading the bad press associated with the Songkran
celebrations throughout the country. Songkran perennially causes a huge surge
in vehicle accidents down to water throwing and drink driving. Also sexual
harassment towards women and crimes of violence vastly increase during this
time of supposed care-free happiness (*official figures 13 cases of theft, 21
weapons offenses, 63 cases of illegal gambling, 59 drug offenses, 29 cases of
prostitution and 93 cases of assault and sexual harrasment). There is no doubt
that something must be done to stop this in the future, it is becoming a
terrible scar on the face of what is one of the world's most special and joyous
occasions. Thankfully, during my time in Chiang Mai I didn't see even a hint of
crime. Many plans are being put forward to combat the problem including zoning
celebrations, i.e. allotting only special areas where water throwing is
allowed, or reducing the celebrations from several days to only one. Whatever
happens, it is not going to be easy for the Thai authorities to change the
actions of the whole country during the time they look forward to all year
round.