And all the tuques we send over have microtransmitters implanted in them.

While watching the Santa Claus parade, the signal was transmitted by Santa's float, activating the chip in the tuque, and causing your body to release enzymes that interact with the drug in the bacon to make you guys like us.

Re-reading my post, you can tell I am a FRENCH Canadian by the way I said "imposter Canadian, instead of Canadian imposter! The French tend to say/write things backwards, as in "balle rouge" instead of "red ball". I guess I'm more bilingual than I thought!