BLOG GAME MARIO CHALMERS filling in for Tom this week, who had a kid or something (it’s hard to know since Tom’s baby boy — congrats Tom! — hasn’t showed up on any releases yet). So, let’s do this thing, if only for the escape from a world where a team without a fanbase lines up three stars (here’s Chris Bosh pouring champagne on himself, just ‘cuz) and basically no one else to destroy a homegrown team that did everything “the right way” or whatever and the resulting existential pit of despair and cynism. Also, one of the videos has motorcycle stunts! Motorcycles are outstanding! The videos:

5. Sigur Rós – “Fjögur Píanó” (Dir. Alma Har’el)

Shia LeBouf and a friend engage in naked ballet amidst a room filled with butterflies. The eight-minute clip also features what Tom called “some sort of bloody sex assault” and doesn’t make any sense, generally, but neither did Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull but pretty much everyone went to see it.

4. Sun Kil Moon – “Black Kite” (Dir. Gabriel Shepard)

The stark visual from Sun Kil Moon’s “Black Kite” is a perfect complementary piece to the song’s overtly barren textures, a landscape that, while drab on the surface, presents underlying beauty and traquility.

2. King Khan – “Bite My Tongue” (Dir. HYLAS)

King Khan’s superhero alias teams up with Jesus — whose superpower, besides resurrecting himself, is shooting wine out of his eyes — for this extended Batman (the television series) parody. It’s less about “fighting crime” than it is “being prank-o-sauruses and getting drunk,” and it’s better off because of it, for obvious reasons.

1. Twin Shadow – “Five Seconds” (Dir. Keith Musil)

The video for George Lewis, Jr.’s “Five Seconds” is a delightful B-movie romp, featuring a melodramatic voiceover from Lewis and points to Lewis-written novel that may or may not exist as source material. In it, Lewis stages a rescue with a masked, roving The Road-style gang on his heels. It also debuted on big screens in Times Square, which has to be a pretty “holy shit” moment for an artist on Twin Shadow’s up-and-coming level.