I had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things -- burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery. He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, "I hope you'll be very happy there."

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"