Everything is falling to pieces. Please give me your best advice.

Your life is a train wreck. Go to therapy, and go to rehab to get sober. If you have a DUI you can't drink responsibly. Stop acting like a child and divorce this useless loser who prioritizes a man cold over someone healing from major surgery.

Or keep doing what you're doing and continue to have a miserable life. Time to make the baby the priority, not this tool bag who calls himself a husband.

I'm sure that was difficult for OP to read but that was a serious dose of adult medicine.

OP- Focus on yourself and your kids. When people show you who they are, believe them. His words and actions let you know that he does not value you as a partner. Your relationship sounds toxic and you're making poor decisions because of your relationship. Remove yourself from this relationship.

OP: you got back at your husband by "dipping out" on him and your child to show him what it felt like? And what kind of secret of yours is he sharing with his friend that then came back to you?

You sound like a scorned teenage girlfriend.

I'm sorry this must be really tough for you but it is time to grow up. If your relationship can't mature and grow with you, it's probably not one you should be in. However I do think some counseling would be good for both of you if you do want to give this a fair chance to work.

agree with PP's. Also, your husband has every right to be upset you shared something he told you in confidence. I can only imagine how you would've reacted had he done the same. it's not your place to be sharing his personal information and it shows a lacking of respect for him by doing so

my apologies, I just realized he shared something you had told him in which case yes you have a right to be mad and he needs to know that. it sounds like you guys both have some immaturity and growing up to do and this may not be the healthiest relationship to do that in

I guess I'm the odd man out. I don't think you need to leave if you're both willing to work (hard) on making things better. He does sound unhappy with you and you him. You need to have a very honest conversation about how he really feels. You need to be willing to listen without getting defensive or interrupting. He's not going to talk to you if you can't listen, if you aren't willing to take responsibility for your part. Don't answer respond right away. Really think about what he said. Ask him to do the same for you.

I really think couples counseling should be your next step. If you didn't have a baby I'd say leave but you owe it to your baby to try everything before quitting. If either of you aren't willing to do the work then it'll likely just be more of the same. If you care about this man and want to keep this family together do all you can before quitting.

Forgot to add: if you guys do talk, talk about what's realty going on not petty arguments. This isn't about furniture not being moved its about not doing what he said he'd do and so on. Don't get lost in the small stuff.

Seems like you just acted out to get back at him and got yourself into trouble, you are acting very childish and you probably just need to end the relationship before it gets worse. I would start looking for a job and try to focus on yourself and don't worry about what he does as long as he is supporting your kids (if he works) then that's all you need to worry about.

You are dealing with so many difficult situations and feelings. You sound angry, resentful, and a little vengeful. All are understandable. It is how we deal with feelings that counts.

Marriages, especially when there are children involved, are worth fighting for, if, and this is a big if, both of you are willing to work at it. Have you considered marriage counseling? My husband and I learned so much about ourselves, each other, and how to be better spouses through marriage counseling. It was one of the best "investments" we ever made. We learned to put our marriage and God before our children, friends, family, and jobs. A counselor asked, "Do you want to be right or do you want to have peace?" We wanted peace. Praying for your marriage to have more peace, too.

We have to learn from our mistakes and I'm sure that you apologized to your husband and he has forgiven you. Remember though that discussions in marriage need to remain there and your role is to support your husband.

I also think that you need to get some help in dealing with your drinking. A DUI is not a typical thing and it suggests that you have a problem with alcohol consumption which requires outside intervention. I would encourage you to speak to someone who can help you with this. Your drinking may just be a symptom of how you're truly feeling. God Bless

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