>I am writing this blog post a week removed from the day of incident. As I sit here now on the couch I am under a blanket I am sharing with Leila while I blog and she watches Sponge Bob. Right now, it seems kind of stupid to rehash in my mind a day when I felt a lot less impressed with my daughter, but then I think…I made this blog to share the good, the bad and the ugly, so get ready for some ugly.

Every Tuesday Cory works in Cedar Rapids and Leila and I are on our own for drop off/ pick up at daycare. Last Tuesday when I walked into Leila’s classroom she greeted me with the usual giant hug and beautiful smile…the highlight of my day. From there it went down hill.Mommy: Come on Leila, lets put your coat on and go home. Leila: NoMommy: Leila, Daddy and Zoey are at home waiting for us, we can’t go until you put your coat on.Leila: No!Mommy: Do you want to go to see Baby Sawyer tonight?Leila: Yes!Mommy: Ok then, put your coat on.Leila: No

Next came me leading Leila out to the main hallway at Love-A-Lot and trying to force her coat onto her arms. She threw herself on the floor and cried and kicked and screamed. I picked her up and managed to force her arms into her coat. As I held her in my arms I had never been so angry at her. Now, I know that some people spank their kids, and if that works for you, fine. We are not spankers, though at that moment I have never wanted to spank her so badly in my life. I got her into her car seat, where she stiffened up her back and refused to let me buckle her in. I slammed the door shut, got in the front seat and called Cory. I didn’t expect him to do anything about it, but I really wanted to bitch about the situation, and Leila wasn’t exactly good company at the time. By the time I got off the phone Cory had diffused me a little bit and as it turns out, Leila had calmed down as well. She said, “Mommy, I am ready to go now, buckle me.” I got out and buckled her in, and as I pulled away from school I started to cry, and I cried all the way home. I hate hate hated the way I felt toward my own child. Thinking about it now still makes me really sad, especially as I see her sweet, calm little face sitting next to me. As we were driving home and I am crying Leila says to me, “Why are you sad mommy? I will give you a hug.” That only made it worse.

The terrible twos are exactly that. Couple that with a mad case of pregnancy hormones, and the fact that Leila seems to inherited my temper and things are rough going at the Coobs’ House. You should all feel very bad for Cory.

"We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are always there for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.
-- Jeff Warner

"What I want to say to you is that sometimes life catches you by surprise and you feel unequipped to handle what it brings you, but every bit of life you've lived before that moment equips you to live through it. That's what I would give to you."
-Fanni Victoria Green-Lemons (talking to her daughter)

If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can, there is nothing more to it than that.

"The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one."
-Jill Churchhill