I rose before the sun this morning, and in the eastern sky the bright morning star sparkled directly in front of me as I looked eastward.

Soon the sun began to rise, and I looked for the star, but the sun was so bright, I couldn’t see it. I looked directly east and then lifted my eyes a little higher than before and there, a faint glimmer of the star. I think it is the planet Venus, but I am not sure, must research.

I had forgotten it was 9/11. Later when I went down stairs and heard taps being played over New York’s World Trade Center, I realized the day. Then when I checked my e-mail, I saw that it was Evan’s birthday.

I thought, what a very hard day to have a birthday, when so much devastation took place. I wonder Evan, did that change your value on life? How meaningless it all seems, as the prophet Jeremiah wrote in Lamantations. Vanity!

I saw how your mom misses you! Her mother’s day was a reminder of the void placed in her heart. I hope to never know that pain.

As I remember that star from this morning, 9/11, I will always tie it to your bright ascending star. Your beauty and grace were something to behold. We loved you from afar, and one day we will be reunited again. There is no lesser place in the heart of God. I’m sure that you and dad are just fine together. Give a hug to Neva and Vera for us Birthday boy.

“Your birthday is a much more meaningful day for your mother, who always treated you with humor, grace and truth. Rest in peace with your dad until you are all reunited —- a long time from now we hope!’

When the Trade Towers fell I was at work calling stockbrokers on the East Coast. We first heard about it from the people we were speaking to as they saw the reports on TV and turned on one of the TV sets we have in a conference room. They closed the office, so I came home hours and hours earlier than normal.

This was the year that Evan was living with us, so when I got home I and woke up my son, Steve, and my husband, Marty, I woke Evan up too, and we all sat around trying to grasp how such a thing could happen here in America.

I’ll always remember one thing Evan said to us that morning. He said “Wow, what a way to start my birthday. I guess none of you will ever forget what day it falls on now.”

He was right. We’ll never forget his birthday, and we’ll never forget to think of him on this date. I only wish he was still here with us, to joke and laugh and endlessly question everyone and challenge them to defend their ideas and their beliefs.

For what it’s worth, I’m simply aknowledging your having existed, stranger named Evan. I wouldn’t feel proper reading your insights without doing so. I wish you well, wherever the other side of consciousness has taken you.

Your lacking the confines of this horrible, flawed human form is a thing to be envied. I wish I could know you. I’m an amazing failure at maintaining proper human relationships.

Quite shamefully, I’ve not felt quite this connected to another intelligent being in ages.

it’s been 6 years without you, my son. still i miss you every day. i just watched Joyce’s video of your visits to Taiwan and have been laughing & crying for an hour. sp many people cared for you–i’m so sorry you had to leave us.
peace out, my boy.
love, mom