So, ashacat and I are doing ‘simulated labor’ breathing exercises -- getting Asha into the groove of “slow paced chest breathing” for the ‘preliminary phase’ of Stage I labor -- the long, not-so-intense (but working up to it) first part of labor. The exercise has me (the coach) saying “contraction begins”, monitoring Asha’s breathing and saying “contraction ends” a minute later. We do this every five minutes.

We’ve been at it for the better part of an hour now, and I think Asha’s getting bored. She has read the seventh and eighth month chapters of What to Expect When You’re Expecting and I have folded all of the laundry . . . but. The last time I called out Knock knock! “Who’s there?” Contraction! That netted me a chuckle and a cleansing breath.