“Um, I want him to take away the guns from other people, because for a girl like me it kind of scares me if I got killed.” — 8-year-old girl at The Dubliner bar this morning on MSNCB’s “Morning Joe.”

Flack melts down about Capitol Hill gridlock

“I’m pretty sure every cross street in DC is blocked. It’s virtually impossible to get back to Capitol Hill. No rhyme or reason.” — NRSC Spokesman Brian Walsh just after midnight Tuesday morning. And three minutes later…“Someone explain to me the security decision behind devoting 6 cops to shutting down 7th & M. There is nothing around that area at all.” More: “Understand. I’m all for security. Just seems like complete overkill.” He concludes on a bipartisan note…“To be sure, also remember it taking 3 hrs to go 12 blocks in 2001 for first GWB inauguration wknd. Should leave DC :)”

Other complaints…

“Pro Tip: no matter how bad you think the traffic is in DC..it is 100 times worse than that.” — The Cook Report‘s Amy Walter. A follower snapped at her, saying, “Amy Walter, quit whining; u don’t live in Los Angeles. Take public transporation! [sic]”

“Another trip to DC where I only used Uber. Simply a brilliant service.” — RedState and CNN’s Erick Erickson.

“I concur with what @EWErickson just said. I’ve discovered how great uber is in DC, especially considering how shitass the cabs can be here.” — BuzzFeed‘s Rosie Gray, who recently moved to Washington from Manhattan. Everyone can congratulate Rosie on finding her new apartment — it’s in the Bloomington neighborhood of D.C.

“Dupont Circle on Inauguration Weekend=everything I hate. SO MANY BROS, GET ME OUTTA HERE.” — National Journal political reporter Elahe Izadi. Hmmm…so many bros?

Actress Ashley Judd strikes a pose last night in the kitchen of Atlantic Publisher David Bradley, where she hung out for a good while, chatting up HuffPost‘s Howard Fineman, Bloomberg‘s Margaret Carlson and a swell of fine, crusty Washington D.C. men with varying amounts of ear hair. (More on the swanky Downton Bradley party later…)

TV journo marvels over empty Metro car

“Its very quiet INSIDE Capitol & amazingly Metro train car I was in was empty, completely empty. 4 years ago it was packed.” — NBC’s Kelly O’Donnell at 6:08 a.m.

Journo hopes to survive inauguration sans illness

“Last week, I thought #inauguration would be a race between me and my iPhone battery. Instead, it’s a race against my own immune system.” — WaPo‘s Maura Judkis.

Important Question to Ponder: “It’s okay to take DayQuil with a vodka martini right?” — WaPo‘s Dan Zak.

D.C. Celebrity Watching: “Been playing ‘I know that celebrity from that scene in that movie where he looks [adjective here] but what is his name?!’ all night. Tired.” — The Hill‘s Alexandra Jaffe.

“President was sworn in today. Mon is the ceremonial event and speech. I elected to skip the party & hoopla and not attend Mon’s event.” — Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah).

ABC “The View’s” Sherri Shepherd needs help

“Ashley pooped in Jeffrey’s bed, peed on Jeffrey’s carpet, chews his socks. If you come back & help me @cesarmillan, I’ll make you dinner :O)” — Sherri Shepherd, our new favorite Twitter obsession. Only Sherri can bring “poop” and “dinner” together into one sentence.

Party banter and — gasp — an insult for Kerry Washington.

From Foreign Policy mag’s The Cable blog writer Josh Rogin: “So Lupe played one anti-war song for 30 min and said he didn’t vote for Obama and eventually was told to move on to the next song. Lupe refused to move to the next song so a team of security guards came on stage and told him to go.”

WTF: Wil i am changes up hairstyle

“Wil.i.am needs to sue his barber over this part. Your head is jacked up son!” — BuzzFeed D.C. Bureau Chief John Stanton (with accompanying photograph).

Meanwhile, Jack Abramoff still manages to get press… “Getting set to chat with @jackabramoff about a bunch of pressing issues on XM Radio show.” — Washington Free Beacon‘s Adam Kredo.

Oh no he didn’t.

“Keri Washington on Scandal is playing the new-age Mamie without the headscarf. A political call girl with no self-esteem for herself.” — Javonni Brustow, Washington Editor of TheDCPundit.com and a blogger for PopGlitz.

Journo pops up in Concealed Carry magazine

“Pic of you in this month’s Concealed Carry mag (p. 58) Story about GRPC in Orlando. You get around.” — Lifetime NRA member Michael Cullison to TWT senior opinion writer Emily Miller.

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