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To Gift or not to Gift

By Chris Hunter

Winter 2017

Q: Should I get a birthday gift for my significant other, even though we’ve only been dating for a few weeks?

A: Thank you for the question, anonymous, and before I answer it, I would like to address something. My partner in crime, Dan Albanese, is no longer with us. He moved on to bigger and better things, like re-tweeting thousands of things at 1:00 a.m. on a Tuesday. So I’ll be riding solo this year.

Now, back to the question. Regardless of how long you’ve been with someone, a gift shows that you appreciate and are thinking about them. However, you have to be very, very careful about what type of gift you want to buy. The real question here is this: what car company is best suited for me?

I mean … how big should I go for my gift? Well, to that I say: “Go big or go home.”

Buy them a brand new Honda Civic. By purchasing a Honda for your S.O., this person will learn more about how much you care about their safety, as well as Japanese multinational conglomerate corporations. And every time they hop in that Civic, they’ll think about you. Whenever they drive that car, the only thing they’ll be able to think about is that sleek, spacious interior. And you, of course. You’ll always be on their mind! However, you should leave all the expenses like gas, oil, and spare tires to them. After all, you don’t want to seem to clingy.

If a car is not in your price range, then may I recommend perhaps a Honda bike? I suggest getting a touring bike, as it’s one of the safest bikes, guaranteed. The 2015 Honda Interstate offers a 1312 cc V-twin engine that other bike competitors just can’t beat! It even has a custom windscreen, roomy floorboards, and, best of all, leather-clad saddlebags. Buying the bike won’t show that you love them any less just because it’s less expensive; it’s just an option for the more casual audience.

But for real now, I would say that you should get them a gift. Getting a gift for them does show that you are thinking about them and that you are interested. It doesn’t have to be big, maybe just a card with a $15 to $25 gift card to their favorite store. That’s a nice, small present that doesn’t make you seem obsessive.

A personalized gift shows that you put thought into it, and that’s the most important thing you can do.