When I emailed the ECB suggesting Hick's recall three years ago, they told me they thought it was "unlikely." And these ****s wonder why we didn't beat the crims 5-0. ****ing joke, game's going down the ****ter in this country.

In light of some poor performances over a period of three years now, I would like to offer my services to Peter Moores and the team in an advisory capacity. I believe with my passion, drive and selectorial expertise I can help England to regain the Ashes and become the world's undisputed champions in all formats of the game.

If it was up to me, England would play the following line-up, I am sure this will help you make your mind up:

As you can see, this is a well-balanced line-up. It mixes youth (Broad, Cook, Anderson) with experience (Gough, Flintoff, Hick, Ramprakash) and contains one true all-rounder (Anderson), a bowling all-rounder (Flintoff) and Stuart Broad is useful for a few fill-in overs. If the pitch is a greentop we can replace Panesar with an extra batsman for true depth.

To further enhance my selectorial brilliance, I would like to tell you some tales of my time on the International Cricket Captain series. On the 2005 version I led Kent to the County Championship with players that I developed from a young age. Then on the 2006 version I outdid Duncan Fletcher and Andrew Flintoff by comfortably retaining the Ashes in Australia (3-0). On my most recent game I have only played one season in which I led Somerset to the second division title in spite of not winning a game until the 9th round.

Just in case all this hadn't helped you to make up your mind, I already own replicas of both the Test and One-day shirts and would be happy to wear these in my official capacity. I will not, though, under any circumstances be seen wearing the Twenty20 kit as it looks somewhat like a Liverpool shirt and I am a Tranmere Rovers supporters.

I eagerly anticipate your reply and the commencement of my duties. I have some committments this weekend but am happy to rearrange them for the inevitable press conference that will follow my appointment.

I need u like Henry Nicholls needs batting school
He was terrible in that series
I need u like Ross Taylor needed to be fit
He's way better than Henry Nicholls
And now all I can think about is your smile
and that ****** test series too
Losing to Australia sucked and I miss you

Ecb: Will...
Gimh: But my name is Corrin...
Ecb: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!

Originally Posted by OverratedSanity

"Still waiting for bole trekking Marayyye". Keep Kumar up in the third umpires box please,its hilarious. Him almost screwing up a DRS referral a definite highlight.

Originally Posted by Burgey

Ashwin is like one of those paintings whose eye always follows you around the room. He'd be hell in a court room. The judge and the witness would always think he's lookong at both of them at the same time.