The walk seems to
have worn out Pedro. He lays perched at the bottom of my bed soaking up the
little bit of sunlight streaming through the window. I forgo eating due to
nerves and pour a glass of wine after nearly elbow dropping the top of the
bottle to get the cork out. Who knew a simple machine was so damn difficult to
use?

At first the
tartness of the wine makes me shiver but then soon, a sweet spray dances over
my tongue.

“Not bad,” I say
to myself and down the glass.

The stage is set.
A hot bubble bath, a full wine glass, bottle of wine, light mood music,
candles, and then…the massive purple plastic cock who is about to give me my
first screaming O. I locked Pedro in his kennel because there’s no way I could
handle him watching me rub this one out or at least try to.

The water stings
my skin as I sink down into the tub. My favorite sweet scent of bubble bath
assaults my senses as I melt back into the tub. I sip down another glass of
wine, relaxing even more with Norah Jones singing in the background. I was
smart enough to keep the bottle in reaching distance for refills.

My fingers can
barely wrap around the girth of the vibrator. How in the hell is it supposed to
fit inside me? I giggle to myself when I realize I’m holding the damn thing
like a microphone near the tip of it.

“Welcome ladies
and gentlemen to the virgin diaries starring Olivia Olander who’s currently
O-less and in desperate search for The
Big O.”

I belly laugh
like a crazed idiot after my entertaining stance. I down one more glass of wine
and then dial up Scout for one last burst of encouragement.

“Scout,” I purr
into the phone.

“Sup, ho-bag?”

“Just floating in
the tub, slamming wine, and about to get it on with Tony the Tiger.”

She squeals a
tone deafening pitch into the phone before creating any coherent speech. “I’m
so proud of you, O. Just make sure to get used to the vibrating speeds before
full insertion and once in, set the twirl mode to level three and you’ll be
flying high.”

I feel like I
should be taking notes instead of nodding and sipping my adult grape juice. The
influences of the wine have me fully accepting her advice instead of flushing
with embarrassment and running away.

“I think I got
this, Scout.”

“Get it, girl.”
She laughs into the phone. “How much wine have you pounded?”

“Like only half a
bottle, but it’s one of those jumbo ones.”

“You do realize
that’s like three bottles in one, right?”

“Is that bad?” I
belch before getting out the last word.

“Don’t drink
anymore and just get down and dirty.”

A beep sounds on
my phone. I pull it away to look at the screen. “Gotta go, Scout, Hot Cop is
calling me.”

“O don’t you dare
take it.”

“Bye.” I click
over to the next call, giddy as a little kid in a candy shop.

“Hello.” I try to
purr in my sexiest of sexy voices.

“Hey Olivia.” His
rich voice sends shivers down my spine and I swear they land right between my
legs. I tingle.

“Everything okay?
I swear there were cop carzz everywhere.”

Shit, did I just slur one of my words into the
phone? I
sit up a bit taller in the water and try to pay attention. The cool air perks
my nipples right up.

“All is good,
Olivia. There were two different things going down, that’s why there were so
many cars everywhere.” He pauses and I hear the cracking slam of a few doors shutting.

“What are you
doing?” I ask out of curiosity.

“Just got home
and ready to crash, but felt bad the way I left you today.”

“I get it. It’s
your job. No worries. I’m not a needy person, Oren.”

“Just trying to
be a gentleman to my new non-dating friend.” His voice muffles for a second and
then becomes clearer.

“What are you
doing now?” I ask.

“Just took my
shirt off, getting ready to kick my boots off, and drink a brewski before
hitting the hay.”

Oh those tingles
intensify to a mind numbing state. I can do this. I can really do this with
Oren’s voice fueling my desire.

“Picture?”

“Duh,” I promptly
reply.

“Give me a
second. Oh, and Olivia, we still on for Friday?”

“Fucking A we
are.” I slap my hand over my mouth when the bold words fly out. Note to self: less wine.

His deep chuckle
vibrates through the phone. “The answer I wanted.”

“Before we say
goodbye, give me a second.”

“Okay, I need to
whiz real quick.”

Holy shit, he’s about to be holding his big
gigantor wiener in his hand. Baby Jesus, don’t let him be packing light.

“Alrighty then,
I’ll be right back.”

I set down my
cell phone on the edge of the tub and stare down Tony. And then sing “Let’s get
it on” to him. It’s the biggest move of my life and I’m about to become a
full-fledged woman and if things do ever go further with Oren, I’ll be ready.

His deep voice
snaps me out of my hypnotic stare with Tony.

“I’m here,” I
holler. I down the remaining wine in my glass grab my phone and then Tony with
the other hand. “Thanks for the call tonight, Officer Hot Cop.”

I plunge Tony
down into the water, fumbling for the buttons. His edges are a bit more rigid
then I remember as I try to softly rub him up and down my clit. It’s the first
step to strum my clit-tar.

“Oren, you
there?”

It’s silent on
his end; boy, he must have a huge bladder or maybe tired out from holding up
his monster cock.

“Oren?” I try
again while still strumming away and by the way, it’s an awful feeling. Very
abrasive indeed.

My phone begins
to vibrate in my hand and then furiously twirls while vibrating. I pull my
phone from my ear and come face to face with fucking Tony the Tiger. I was
talking to a damn vibrator with the tip of the cock to my ear.

I am just a simple country girl getting one story out of my head at a time. I was raised in small town, USA and still reside there with my husband and children. I am a huge country music fan and am inspired by it everyday. I live and love country life, and you will find those elements in my books. I also adore strong and brave lead female characters, and strive to be a courageous and independent woman in everyday life. In my opinion, life is no fun without a good sense of humor, sprinkles, cheese whiz, and candy. It is the simple things that warm my heart.

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About Me

I am a blogger, an author, a reader, a big sister to 15+ kids, and I live on an island in between the Atlantic and the Caribbean, which I like to call Invisible Island.

I am not the average blogger/writer. I go through a lot to get things done, and sometimes they are not always what I think they are. I have to check, and re-check to make sure it is up to par. Dyslexia is not easy, but God is faithful.