This blog will cover the collision of two cultures - parents and teen children. They don't understand us, and view us as spoilers or walking ATMs (adults with teen malcontents?) We are left wondering what happened to our cute cuddly kids of a few years back, and when they may return. If ever.

Monday, July 27, 2009

After going to Nordstroms and oohing and aaahing at things we couldn't afford (I set the budget at under $35), she found a nice skirt (bit short, her dad pointed out) and a bangle. Suddenly the world seemed a kinder place.

Then it was over to her best friend's house to start drawing up "I hate Leif" posters that she said (jokingly I think) she and Ashely planned to plaster all over town.

The one smudge on a good 'I'm going to make myself feel better" day was when she told me they texted the ex, and asked him in detail why he broke it off.

NO, NO NO I stated when she told me this as we walked through the frozen food aisle at Tops.

"Look, no matter what answer he gives, unless it's "I've changed my mind," is going to make you feel better, so stop it. Stop texting him now!"

She sulked.

Then I reminded her of a couple of scenes in "he's just not that into you."

Saturday, July 25, 2009

As soon as I picked up Jennifer from her b-friend's home, they'd just gone to a movie, and I saw the tears in her eyes and blotchy face-it came to me. The summer romance had ended with Leif.

We cheered her up some by taking her out for ice cream (I know old fashioned, but it works), but alas, she was busy holed up in her room, texting and crying her eyes out to friends for the rest of the night. I poked in once, brought her dinner and then ordered her to EAT, waving her favchinese dish under her nose. I don't think she ate a bite. Another time, I came in, and she was talking to her ex.

At this point, I ordered her OFF the phone, and dragged her into the tv room for a talk (her dad had already gone to bed, realizing he couldn't fix this) and let her wail. This was the 2nd of 2 b-friends to dump her in the last year, and WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER!!!

Nothing, I said. Welcome to dating 15 and 16 year olds of the male species. Apparently the ex told her she was too emotional and heavy lifting for a g-friend (which is prob. a bit true, but then was not the time to bring that up) and again WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HER, or WWWWH for short.

Nothing, I purrred into her hair as she sobbed on my lap. The cats all left the room, as they do when any drama occurs.

And I began to recount (in fact surprised, once I added them up) how many b-friends had dumped me during high school and college. All except 2 or 3 I think. And it's painful. And you feel like shit for a bit. Then you shake it off and move on. Unf. the only thing you can do in the feel-like-shit stage, is just that. Feel bad, talk with your loyal pals to cheer you up, conclude the guy is scum, eat a bit of chocolate ,and go shopping, which we intend to do today. Maybe watch lots of 30 Rock reruns.

I'll let you know if this works. We didn't have 30 Rock when the boys were busy dumping me. But we didn't have text dumping either, which I supposed it a good thing.

Friday, July 24, 2009

It was good seeing Jennifer again, after a week away. But it quickly reverted to form: me nagging her on cleaning up after herself, or cleaning at all (no piling your dirty clothes in the middle of the living room is not an option, neither is forgetting for flush the toilet)

She had to get up early this am for a docs appoint, but then promptly went to bed until noon. Now, instead of going to a movie with us, she's out with the b-friend until 8:30 pm.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

That was the only diagnosis I could think of as I took the second call from Jennifer last night. I think she's counting down the hours until b-ball camp is fini. Her dad's on his way to pick her up now.

6:15 pm, call number one: hey mom, how are you doing? How are the cats? The dog? The lizard? My feet hurt and have blisters all over them? Did you tivo that gossip girls episode I asked you to? The food up here is great, but I"m soooo ready to go home. So tired. OK, talk to you later.

9:40 pm, call number two: (there were about 3 texts to her dad in the 3 hours prior) Hey how are you doing? Are you asleep yet? This freshman on our team is driving us crazy. She's snotty, she won't do the freshman chores, and she's insulting to the other girls and won't apologize and the coach doesn't seem to notice. Did I tell you I had more blisters on my feet. When's dad coming up tomorrow? Can he make it earlier?

Okay, see you tomorrow. Can I pick what we have for dinner? Can we stop by the outlet mall on the way down (no). Can we go see a movie (on the weekend). Ok, bye.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Alas, there was little I could do about this, since Jennifer is 200 miles away in b-ham, at a basketball camp.

I told her to ask the coach for a throat lozenge, but aside from that I was stuck. Apparently Gary has been texting her several times a day (Dad just can't stay out of touch for long) and she has been texting him back, prob.when she doesn't think her friends are looking.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

These charming calls came at 10:30 ish pm every night that my daughter was up at a b-ball tourney in Anacortes this last week. I'll be interested to see now that she's keeps it up now that she's a a full-week camp.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

CNET reported yesterday that a teen girl walked right in, and down, a manhole, while she was trying to text (no reports if she texted for help once she was 4-feet-under, sharing the sewer with the rats.

Can totally see Jennifer doing this, as she's texting in the car, while watching tv, sometimes at dinner, definitely while putting her makeup on. The only place she doesn't text is in the shower, for obv. reasons, although I think if she could figure out a way to do so, she would. She does keep her phone on the towel so when it buzzes she can hear it, and it doesn't vibrate its way onto the floor.

I can also see my hubby doing this, as he's become addicted to his blackberry. So sometimes I"ll be watching tv, and the texting clicks are coming in stereo.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

However, I would argue, after watching my daughter text, pretty much non-stop, all day long for 2 weeks while I've been home on vacation, that they twitter all the time. It's just called texting in their world.

And when she gets on my case about being on twitter, facebook or e-mail, I shoot back that observation, saying that in essence, twitter is a grownup texting, since I can't stand texting on my phone.

Monday, July 13, 2009

This request came at about 2 am last night, when my daughter finally decided to go to bed.

But she wasn't feeling well, and so she crawled in the single bed in the spare bedroom(gary had snored me out of our bedroom, again), and nestled under the tangle of covers with me and planted her cold feet on mine.

The book I was reading was digging into my ribs. Sometimes I put it on the floor, and sometimes I just stuff it against the walls (don't ask). I wrapped my arms around her, and she quickly fell asleep, and started turning into a 100-lb, 5.1 heating pad.

Then Gary woke up and noticed that the b-room light had been left on, along with the fish tank. I could hear him mumbling to himself as he turned them off, and then poked his head into her bedroom. I could almost feel the panic begin to crawl up from his stomach.

"Gary, she's in here," I chirp out helpfully. In pokes his head, and he asks how she's feeling. Then he goes back into our room and I can hear him snoring in about 5 minutes.

"Do you think dad would get me a drink?"

Too late for that honey. I'll get you one, but first, let me out of this bed.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I'm going up to spend a "girls night out" with my cousin in Everett, but I can tell that Jennifer (nor my hubby) aren't exactly happy about it. Now true, this leaves dad open to Jennifer working her "I'm you're only child, daughter" magic on him and getting $$, where I would say no.

However, when I'm gone, there is a hole, and I don't like creating it. But every once and awhile, I need to I guess to recharge. And I guess I like it too. I wouldn't want the opposite of "oh, you were gone" or after talking with a childhood friend recently - actually my oldest friend - Dawn and listening to her recount how her 15 year old is now running away (sort of). Like spending many nights on a friend's couch after fighting with dawn.

True, sometimes Jennifer declares me the worst mom ever..but she knows she'd never get away with the I'm leaving routine. Gary and I would hogtie her before that would happen.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

My best friend of 40 years may arrive tomorrow (I say may, because the appearance of Dawn is always a crap shoot).

It was like that when were young and it is now.

Nevertheless, I'm trying to convince my daughter to clean up the bathroom, and I"ve actually tackled the rat's nest under the phone, which will probably start growing again 9 am PST tomorrow. But for now, it's clean.

I know and Dawn knows I'm not the best of housekeepers. But I figure it's been 3 years since I"ve seen here (she lives in Denmark with her family), so I'll make the effort.

Getting this house clean means making an attempt to clean up the small piles, not the entire house. That would just be too discouraging.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Out to make are regular pilgrimage to all things that sparkle and go boom.

My hubby doesn't approve, but he's out there with a bucket, and lighting the fuses each July 4, as Jennifer and I haul home our loot from the res. This time it's $63 work, and I put this in the staycation budget, so I basically told Gary to suck it up.

When he found out we were at the res, not at the safe and sane fireworks stands, he began to try and convince me not to buy anything there.

Why?

Because the cops are telling us they are going to crack down.

OK, well, I don't see any cops stopping people at the gate or the city limits to Auburn. And besides, we're packing this stuff to Kent, where things can still go up in the sky.

Well, I'm just saying.

OK, we're just going to look anyway. (I can hear an eye roll on the other end).

And of course we end up buying stuff. We kept running into kids going to her high school, so what were we supposed to do. I felt proud we kept it under $75.

Alien Nation

About Me (short version)

This blog will chronicle my journey through the tween and early teen years with my middle school daughter. You'll also be reading posts from other parents, who swear their children have been abducted by aliens, and have returned home..different.

A short synopsis of Barbara Clements. I'm a happily married, South King County mom with one daughter, and hope to someday freelance full-time as a writer for National Geographic. But until then, I have a daughter to raise and get through high school, which she'll hopefully leave in four years with a scholarship, my sanity intact and not pregnant.