Monster Jammie Dodger
by Dylan & Maria Beattie for £6.90

The most distinctive feature of this king among biscuits is the heart-shaped jam reservoir in the top of the biscuit. This goes right throught the top layer to the rich, jammy centre. For our monster Dodger, it was time to break out the heart-shaped cookie-cutters:

The top layer features a nice big "splat" shape, suggesting that the all-important jam was placed there by some sort of high-speed "jam impact". Biscuit connosieurs will notice this differs from the original classic Jammie Dodger layout, a far more ornate, almost regal arrangement of intricate shortcake scrollwork. In the absence of suitable reference material, we leave that as a pimp project for another day, and turn our attention to making a pimp-size splat motif. A few deft strokes of the rolling-pin, and some nifty knife-work, and our top layer was really starting to come together.

Now for the baking. Due to the immense size and formidable thickness of our monstrous Dodger, we deviated somewhat from the timings in the recipe. Our biscuits ended up cooking at 180° for a good thirty or forty minutes; alongside each one, we placed a couple of balls of dough the same thickness as the main biscuit, figuring that when the doughballs started tasting OK, it meant the biscuit was probably cooked through.