After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal.

Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, a nice big bed and Plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old gal and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV"

The guys were all at a deer camp No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.They said, "Man, what happened to you?"He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night...

DISCLAIMER - The jokes contained within are intended for the amusement of the reader and do not reflect the views of the joke's poster. The humor is never personally directed at any particular gender, race, creed, national origin, state, age group, political affiliation, branch of service, choice of transportation or sports team affiliation. Additionally, some or all of the actions depicted in the following posts are not necesarily condoned by the poster. No animals were actually harmed as a result of any of these posts. Please have your pet spayed or nutered help us control the pet population, support your local SPCA.

Read at your own risk and remember, I don't write these. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Subject: Blondes & jigsaw puzzles

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle,

and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help

with the puzzle. He gets there and she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a

moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all sweetheart, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

"Second, I'd advise you to just relax . . . . have a glass of wine, then put all these dam Frosted Flakes back in the box."