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Our beloved sister Jyoti (JNV Vaishali) passed away just an hour back. Its very painful to lose someone. But while leaving us, she left her everlasting impression in our hearts by donating her eyes to the world.

ज्योति जाते जाते अपनी आखों की ज्योति दे गयी…

We will always remember her for her fighting spirit. She is the first Navodayan to do this. She has set an example for all of us to live for others. She has truly followed our moto of ‘giving back to the society’. We now feel more committed to live for our cause and upto the expectation of upcoming Navodayans.

Serving others is “our Culture”, caring for others is in “our Nerves” and living for others is “our Mission!”

It’s been 6 years now, we have lost Iqbal sir and since then JNVK has changed so much. Over time, his loss became more acute for JNV Katihar. Within few year, result went down. Forget result, Navodaya is more than this! Not only result, if truth be told, the whole school environment and morality is deteriorating day by day which is unfavorable for a residential school culture.

Few months back when I heard some indigestible news about unethical actions from few of my juniors that disturbed me a lot and I couldn’t stop myself to visit the place, where I have spent golden days of my life.

It is highly unethical and immoral! Any principal or higher authority of any school, be it new or old for the campus, having the administrative powers of entire school, should be more responsible towards his/her action. They must have ethics and moral values by virtue. Nevertheless, nowadays, the people who are newly posted in school to lead the administration are lacking the moral value and character. It is sad that,they are not aware of residential school culture and its values.

Most administrators spend a most of their time dealing with school discipline and behavior. It seems few spiritless people have joined educational institution and have their own axe to grind as they don’t have any other options. Such people will never be able to impart a quality education to students when they themselves don’t know what they are doing. When you don’t have a moral value to play in front of children/students, you don’t deserve such a dignified place for your unethical activity. We respect and value our teachers and it’s not honor that one can “demand” for, but something that has to be “earned”!!!

What kind of education can be imparted by such a person who cannot even watch his own behavior???? Misuse of powers at such a position should be acted upon very strictly by higher authorities. But I don’t know why they are unable to act accordingly.

Schools are the ideal places to inculcate values in our children, including how to build ‘CHARACTER’ and make good choices down the road. There are some people who may have some goodness in them, they have a certain code of morals and values that they live by, and this keeps them “grounded”.

I strongly feel that the culture of a school determines the frequency of successful students. Any School would always be interested in three kinds of outcomes: “Skills” to be able to do something, “knowledge” to be able to differentiate between right and wrong, and “Character” to develop good habits and virtue. Most importantly, it’s about promoting ethics, values, and behavior in building a positive and productive person. It’s everything we do that influences the kind of human beings we become.

This is ironical that some pathetic people are there to build character of the students.

I always believed and followed “Don’t respect person or position, Respect BEHAVIOUR!” I will forgive anything you do in your life, because it doesn’t matter to me. However, if any of your action leaves negative impact on the campus, we the alumni of Navodaya will be shameful for such people/administration/higher authority. We always make sure that they hear our say and will do whatever we can to make things right.”

We have decided not to hide anything so that other people get benefit of it and raise their voice against immoral acts.

I came across this statement: “Independent women today have no patience”. Though there is nothing new in it, but the surprising part is that this was given by a woman to my friend”s husband. This mentality in today’s world, I really feel very sorry for her.

I don’t know if she has a declaration of Independence “signed” by somebody (may be her husband)! Think seriously!! Do we actually need somebody to define that we are free? I somehow felt that she was defending herself in the name of dignity. Does she really have dignity? Or, she has a concern that independent women are capable of raising their voice or to deal with the ego which some men have?

She must understand that a real and right relationship, It will only make you feel more like yourself, MORE PATIENCE, more independent and more certain of who you are! Strong, independent women have the ability to let mistakes roll off their backs and to learn from their bad choices patiently. And being Independent myself, I personally do not need anybody to declare that I am an “Independent and free.” Some say, “free will” is an illusion at best; I thoroughly disagree!

Some advice-givers would like to take the role of ‘more knowledgeable person’ in the society. I fail to understand the mentality of these so called ‘progressive thinkers’ who have absolutely no idea what the world is beyond the doors of their air-conditioned walls? It does not matter whether you are in New Delhi or New York, if your thinking does not change!

A woman, who uses her own mind to take any decision, is viewed as being wrong. I know, mostly girls are raised with one single goal and that is to get married and stay married, no matter what! No education teaches that, in fact independence is something which can be considered as the biggest gift of “Education” to women. If patience means to bear atrocities, then it is better that independent women do not have it. However, I read an old saying somewhere “patience is virtue”, I did not know that the virtue means bearing atrocities, tolerating wrong doings, getting humiliated, yet giving respect to all. 😆

Moreover, Few women got happiness does not mean everybody is leading the same good life, but ask yourself, by making unnecessary adjustments, are you really happy? It’s very easy to interfere in others life and comment on something like this. Open your eyes and look around there are many women keeping “Patience” and getting killed or committing suicide at the end. Now tell me… how would you describe patience???????

Always give it a thought – how many women around you are really happy? At least independent women have choice. What choice do house hold ladies have, if they are keeping the “above mentioned” patience, they also have to think about being “Independent” to take care of themselves and their children at some stage. (I do respect all home makers and I am grateful for their contribution, but if they smile, it does not mean they are happy!)

Find below few stories of “patience” … You will come to know the limit of patience in an independent woman. I still could not believe she is not there anymore Ruchi we will miss you... There are many such women we have lost. I don’t know how to act or react on this. However, I wouldn’t call it an act of cowardice; it takes courage to end your own life!

To quote another example- my own friend,though she was a working woman, got beaten on many occasions, still kept patience and waited that everything will be alright, but faced the same fate, got divorced recently and taking care of her only child. Yea, there is a plus point that she received full support from her parents. It’s not the question of being independent or dependent, when it comes to patience, every woman is almost the same.

Sometimes even her own parents do not support her because of the society. Another of my acquaintance went to the extent of committing suicide because of patience as her own parents did not support her. The point to be noted here that she was shattered but her parents chose to be with society, instead of supporting her and kept telling her that everything will be alright. Result?… she is no more now.

If you want more examples – just Google it!!! 🙂

If society had been so generous, women wouldn’t have to leave their house and children to be independent. Widen your horizon before commenting on anything. The world is not restricted to your surroundings only.

No matter our situation or status we all always have choices. How we make our choices obviously differs from person to person, but the option to choose is within everyone. I firmly believe we create our own reality, the choices we make in life provide us with our experience.

I am posting one of the most beautiful poem I’ve ever read. This is written by one of my very good friend, a navodayan Anurag Ranjan. He is one of my favorite poet of this era. I enjoy reading his each and every poem. His Poetry, like music, draws a picture of things or emotions to which we can relate and we can feel that again through poetry.

“How can I convince my wife to leave her job to raise our child?”

The above question is asked by somebody in Quora and I liked the response shared by Shweta Sharma an alumnus of JNV Jojawar. I am quoting her reply below:

Here is how, Don’t!

There is a possibility she might already have considered it, analysed the scenario at her work place and decided against it for some valid reasons. Getting back to workforce is not as easy as sounds. If one of you can get extended leaves, great. If not, try seeking family support if possible. I agree that leaving an infant with nanny does not sound like the perfect solution. But try thinking this from her perspective. Now you have not mentioned what industry she works in, but at some work places the competition is cut throat. I have spend good one year out of the work force and I know the toll it takes on your confidence and skills. Unless she expresses the desire to quit her job for sometime herself, try not making things difficult for her.

I am not a mother yet, but I have seen working mothers very closely. I cant even express the guilt they carry all the time. The guilt for not being a good wife, for not being there when the kid needed them, for not spending every waking second with the kid! Chances are, she is already having post partum depression. It is important to get the support system robust for the time being. I agree that the kid needs much attention, but as selfish as it sounds, you guys were spouses first and parents later. Listen to her. She might have good reasons to continue to work. She might have insecurities about leaving work which she cant voice. In any case, this decision should come from her. Ideally this is something couples discuss before the situation arises. But now that you are already on the field, don’t lose that team spirit. God knows you will need it when the kid will be a teenager. Both of you will have to put in efforts to raise the kid and both of you will have to support each other.

Most of the days, on my way to work I see a woman with her baby. The baby girl is around 6-7 months old. The mum takes the baby with her, drops it in day care and on her way back, gets the baby along. It is such a lovely sight! It helps that it is a happy baby! She keeps all of us engaged, waves around to everyone, blows kisses, keeps giggling. But most of all, the baby and the mum, they just seem so happy to see each other! It just melts our hearts every time we see them. Once I had to change my route and catch the train at the stop where they start. The kid just could not stop kissing her mum, and the mum reciprocated. Of course, the kid cooled down in some time and her attention was shifted to showing her mum all things interesting, like her fingers or the hoarding or a passing train! That is the kind of relationship you want with your kid! Not one where a dissatisfied human being hoovers over the kids’ heads to prove to be a good parent.

Take your time to understand this new situation, give your wife sometime too. Be really careful about this nanny thing, take all steps necessary to ensure the person you are leaving your kid with is reliable.

There is a pearl of wisdom I got from one of my previous managers, “when you will be a parent don’t forget to be a wife. remember he was there first, and he will be around when the kid spreads it’s wings. Never abandon this friendship. Because it is what gives you strength.” Now you don’t need to be a wife, that advice was custom made for me, but rest of it can be true for you.

Well, so here it goes my stand! 🙂

I would say “No”, please don’t. It should be her choice! I would say it should be her decision to work or stay home with the kids, and most important is she ‘must‘ do what will make her most happy, not what ‘should‘ make her happy. You don’t need to convince her for which she is not ready to sacrifice. I have seen mostly women leave their job to sacrifice their career in the name of marriage and child. Though they are highly educated and can stand on their own feet, but they find no option but to give up their careers for the sake of their family. Why should it be only a father who would do a job in order to earn money? Why don’t a man find him worthy enough to take care of his child? Let me tell you honestly, a mother loves her children more than her own life. It is a mother who sees that her children’s needs are fulfilled before her own. And being a mother she must have thought something and planned well to take such decision. If you convince her that would anyways have a bad effect on your relationship with her. So, you don’t need to convince or force her. Instead convince yourself that it’s her life, her choices, and it’s all about her decision! Respect it!!!

I think, there is a dividing line between ‘CHOICE’ and ‘SACRIFICE’!!! One must understand it. I would like to get answers for same question from all the corners as well. Let me see what others say about it.

This below poem is sent by Vishwas bhaiya. A very touching poem written by Suhani, who is a school going girl and a lovely daughter of Vishwas Saxena bhaiya. Please go through the emotions projected and exempt her from grammar—reading this I have some questions for existing education system . A consideration is needed. Anyway read the tender emotions of a fairy and feel her agony!

Circumstances

Every good thing comes to an end!
That is true when my grandmother become sick
And to cure her there was no trick.

Some say organ failure,
Some say paralysis
But we don’t know what the exact crisis

When we were fighting tooth and nail
They told me you school fees was going in vain

When I took leave to curb her loneliness
They said me your attendance was less
Yet they gave me speech topic “old age or
Loneliness who was responsible”
I think its school!!!!!!

When my brother was sacrificing his boards,
My mother ignoring her lectures which she never did
And my father who thrashed the government rules
Came from country far off
Just see her well of
That time their attitude showed off.

When I get myself medicine trained
They told you can be detained!

When I was stealing time to sleep
They told wake up this is not time to creep.

But in the mean time she was sinking and
Your homework is not complete they were shrieking.

When told the reason they said this
Excuse for this season.

She is their but quiet what
To do I cried
I took her my priority
Goons of school shed their superiority.

Than come my final exams
Sitting in intensive care unit
I am finishing mu maths unit
Eight days passed their
She came home as she is here

I passed my exams with self satisfactory Marks
And on myself they leave no scars

Now they threat me this is boards
When we are fighting with black society crowds.
Who can consider daughter but not daughter in law
And for this there is no law.

Than they ordered to take a game
And at home we are playing game of blame

She had big! Big! bed sours
On which everyday compounders knife and sizzer throws
And she and we use to roar.

In this calamity of
Howling of society…………..
Trespassed rules……………..
And chasing a college………
We don’t have time to curb our fatigued
They told these chapters you have to read.

Now came a deadly day
When her hemoglobin come to
Three
And doctor advised for blood transplant
My mother did it for her.

Pure blood matched legendary blood!
But alas! The organ fails
And from the world she sails
She departed and we parted!!

Now I say that in student’s life
There are some circumstances
Which led to odd instances

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Like this:

A few months ago I was going to my home town. I was looking out of the window sitting on the lower berth in my compartment. It was a little dark in the afternoon with rain falling. I could see the beautiful sceneries that were visible from the window. I looked at those lively glowing crops. At a glance, I grasped, the way crops were heavily influenced to dance with wind on the rhythm of the breeze, as if they are trained by rain.

A few moments later, the feeling was enormous and my thoughts were being reflected in the beautiful song played by somebody, “मिट्टी की है जो ख़ुश्बू, तू कैसे भुलायेगा ….” sounds floated on the breeze. It took me on a short drive to my memory land. My heart was chirping in a tremendous way. It isn’t often that we look at certain places, listen to certain tunes and certain rhythms as belonging to a certain time to remember those moments. Sometimes nature is just trying to teach us, if we would only listen. Yes, sometimes it is!

The seven long years in school hostel…pump-pa-pump! 🙂 The school campus has boundary walls on all four sides, surrounded by green trees and the green banana plants. One can see the beautiful sceneries next to boundary wall especially in spring. A little further behind, the wheat crop turns from green to golden yellow in color. It seems like the slow wind revealing the secrets, and eventually a little movement of leaf trying to convey something to me. For a few periods the difference on color was an act in response on recognizing them. All it captured my attention exactly like how the law of attraction works. Nevertheless, it was a full practical understanding of the Law of Attraction!

Life is full of change. From one year to the next and often from one day to the next. I remembered how I occasionally used to sit there on the roof of the hostel building with my friends and watching the lovely village behind the school in winters. Yet every morning, the long grass offered an unexpected surprise especially in December, in the midst of wintry weather and when we friends even couldn’t see each other due to fog. Being up early, we could see the dew covered ground all across the grassy carpet as if millions of diamonds were thrown onto the ground to welcome us. An exquisite beauty lies hidden between the grass and dewdrops if we could only take the time to notice. It’s indeed, a gift and a delightful kiss of winter waves for an early riser…!

It was the treasured phase of my life. The best part was the oneness with nature. I loved seeing sunrise and sunset there every morning and evening, standing there in the vast field and watching sun retiring behind the trees; it was simply beautiful to look at. It was like thousands of butterflies flying around me, especially, in the evening in the playground during sunset. It was then, with some sense of excitement, its real life, real love, make me feel like I am special every day! If there is any way to ‘know’ love – any sort of way to describe or define it. Love, at least to me, includes so many things that I don’t even know where or how to begin. At that time, I never felt the real meaning of serenity.

Everything that has flashed in my mind does not find expressions in words. That phase of my life has given me so much inspiration throughout the years of my stay there. Time and again, it taught me how to improve my life by driving me to be kinder and more understanding, changing the way I see myself and the world; making me question and even strengthen my will power and values. And to add, the waves of emotions, they kept on telling me that “Always trust yourself and your own feelings. Life is yours; you live it your way…!” Honestly, it taught me more about myself than any other person did and in return I can only say that I will always love that intimacy with the nature…

Coming back to the present from the memory lane, a few minutes later, realizing that now the years have passed. It will always be there in my memories. Life has taught me so much where I have come across all emotions, in shaping the person I am today. It is almost 15 years now…still those memories are fresh in the mind and bring tear to my eyes that keep rolling silently and speak a thousand unsaid words…

Like this:

In a tête-à-tête I came across the below remark and somehow it made me smile on people’s narrow-mindedness that too when they claim that they don’t know the person about whom the below was commented.

“Unke school mein yehi sikhaate hain kya”

It somehow urged me to thank them to appreciate (though negatively) that schools teach some good values. If talked about teachings in the schools, it would take infinite number of books to be filled; however, here I would like to quote my own example just to give few glimpses of values and teachings that any school would give to its students.

My most valuable school experiences weren’t only academic. They were all about people—social skills, respect, dedication, empathy, standing for one’s right, being responsible and realizing one’s own potential. On the one hand, in the classroom, I learned that doing my best counted far more than academic ability. On the other hand, on the sports field, I learned about winning and losing graciously. Winning never meant that I should be arrogant and losing never meant that I would feel insulted. And in both the situations we were loved, hugged and encouraged by our teachers. I personally feel-

No matter what you do for a living, no matter how old you are, and regardless of where you grew up, You will ONLY understand what I do ONLY if you were “raised” by a Teacher!!!(not only by parents).

My school has also taught me to believe in my existence, stay firm on my words and raise my voice if I find something is going wrong.

Respecting does not mean to be quite and listen to any crap and accepting mistakes does not mean that you are weak. My schooling surely taught to apologize if I am wrong and forgive if somebody realizes his/her mistake. Of course, what I have not been taught in school is to be arrogant, to interfere in others’ life without their consent, behaving selfishly and not being responsible.

I would like to ask a question here, I always wondered that how would people think that they give respect to their school or values they learnt for that matter, if they do not respect others’ schooling?

After knowing such mindsets, I feel proud of what my teachers taught me! I somehow feel to quote what my teachers would say me in those schooling days. In fact, I recently talked to my chemistry teacher, Ali sir (He is a principal, posted at JNV Murshidabad, WB now), he was repeating same thing: “My children are living within four boundary walls but I wish their thinking should be beyond these boundary walls. They must think far beyond such limited walls as they have all the qualities and capabilities”.

Remembering such words, I feel that I really learnt some values from my teachers and feel sad for people who did not learn the values given by their teachers.