Jade Goody "I saw everything ya Honour"

The television star and serial racist Jade Goody was again in the spotlight today when she was appearing in court to present her account of an attack that took place in February this year at top London nightclub "The National Front Disco". Goody allegedly saw Sue Slasher, 25 of Woking attack Victor Tim, 28 on the dance floor as she outrageously danced and flirted with the man.

Goody said in court today, "I saw 'im, he was pissing blood all down new top. It was new 'an everyfink. She just come over with this big machete and gave him a seeing to! PS my autobiography is out".

The court are divided about Goody's involvement in the case as she was spotted only moments earlier at a Waterstones book store signing copies of her latest autobiography, 'Jade: Innit"'.

Goody, 38 has been described as 'pigfaced', 'vile', 'racist', 'stupid', 'fat', 'intentionally annoying', 'a hater of Asian people', 'worse than her one armed freak of a mother', 'a mug', 'miss piggy', 'tart', 'slapper' and 'a cow' by most people who have had the misfortune to meet her.

A plan to have Goody "locked in the Tower Of London and strung up in front of the Royal family" is being forged by MP's in Westminster this month but is yet to be honoured.

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