The “Mommy Martyr” Vs. The “Sisterhood”

The last few days, life as a mommy of five children with a newborn was difficult. Yet into the emotional vortex and challenges of my life, some beautiful people transformed my days into something lovely. Help from the sisterhood arrived!

Wednesday evening, I had spent time finishing the last of this week’s Bible studies on the life of David. Beth Moore made some important observations in the studies. She mentioned that God orchestrated events in David’s life so that he was dependent on others at times in his life. Dependency was to reveal his need for others in the plan of life, to bring humility, and to bring compassion towards his fellow mankind. Beth Moore indicated that God never intended us to live life as solitary units. We are most importantly meant to live in the delightful fellowship of a relationship with God, based on His grace towards us. We are then secondly created to learn to walk this life with the rest of humanity. This walk can involve lots of trials and suffering, but it can also help to purify us, bring about a greater humility, and hopefully create a greater sense of compassion and awareness of our fellow mankind.

I was reminded of those lessons as this week unfolded. This week had presented me with quite a few challenges, and I was quickly feeling “submerged” by life. It was then that God began to bring the “sisterhood” into my life that revealed to me that I am not alone in this event called life. It reminded me again that I don’t have to become the “Mommy Martyr”.

Sometimes, it seems like as women, we feel that we have to be invincible — a combination of hero, warrior, and martyr. We feel that we have to do everything and be everything for everybody. Anything less than perfection, we feel is not good enough. We walk around with feelings of failure and as a result have simmering frustration which can then lead to anger towards ourselves and those closest to us (our children and spouses). We transfer our unrealistic expectations upon our children and our spouses and then react when they don’t measure up to our standards of perfection. Perhaps this lack of reality and truth stem from a false perspective of God and His dealings towards us.

Perhaps it’s a lack of recognition or personal awareness of how God is constantly working in big and little ways to reveal the immeasurable greatness of His love towards us! Perhaps, it’s not understanding that God desires a personal relationship with us — a close and intimate friendship with Him.He wants us to personally know His heart for us and His plan and purpose for our lives. God wants us to discover that His love for us is not circumstantial, limited, or performance-based. His love is based on His own nature — not reliant on ourselves or who we are or aren’t. Our relationship with Him changes only as we change — as we move closer to Him or further from Him, based on our own tolerance of sin in our lives.

When we correctly understand the merciful nature of God and His great love for us, we are able to more readily accept His grace and forgiveness into our lives and then extend that to others. We are also able to more readily accept love and grace from others as well.

As humans, we are created to depend on God and even others to fully live this life. This is where the “sisterhood” is meant to exist and serve.

This week, I personally experienced how the “sisterhood” beautifully serves and assists and how dependent I am at times on them. I had dear “sisters” who brought me meals twice this week. I had a mother, sister, and father who helped pick up my kindergartner from school since I didn’t have a vehicle. I had a cousin drive a few hours to spend a day, watching my kids so I could get a much-needed nap and then to help me grocery-shop and get some Christmas-gift shopping done. She also made supper for us and brought toys to share with my kids.

I had a newborn baby who smiled at me!

I had a two-year-old daughter who sang a delightful song to her baby brother.

I had a “sister” who volunteered to drive me to a ladies’ Bible study.

Each of these actions encouraged my heart and helped me to be able to live life more fully — not just surviving but thriving under the care and nurture of love.

As “sisters”, let us not forget that even the smallest actions can encourage a heart. We are needed! We are not meant to live as solitary units nor are we meant to become “Mommy Martyrs” in order to live life.