Anyone fancy buying HBOS?

Intrigued to come across this story about an auction of defunct brand names taking place in New York next month.

The auction includes 150 trademarks and their associated domain names. Most are American brands that won’t ring many bells over here. (I probably won’t be forking out for Bum’s Sports Bars or the Relaxacizor.) However, in among all the unfamiliar names, there are some very familiar ones indeed.

Anyone fancy buying the rights to HBOS?

Or Punch magazine?

Or Mum, the first ever commercial deodorant, launched in 1888?

It would be lovely to revive the British Overseas Airways Corporation, whose design materials are often the highlight of Ephemera Society Fairs.

Possibly the most melacholy entry on the list is search engine Infoseek, founded in 1994 and attracting 7.3 million visitors a month at its peak. I found that out on Google.

One of the reasons lost brands are so evocative is that brands have a way of infiltrating everyday life to the point that they seem as eternal as the rocks or the trees. Occasionally, we're reminded that they're not. For anyone who works in the business, it's also sobering to think of the thousands of hours invested in each one of these brands – poring over mission statements, tweaking logos, putting in the late nights on the latest marketing campaign. And all for what?

Still, at least it's good material for poetry. I wrote this one a while back (and may need to update it soon):

What if?

What if Cif was Jif? What if Olay was Ulay? What if Morrisons was Safeway? What if C was still &A?

What if Treets were still sweets? What's with Immac and Veet? What if Fruits were still Opal? Whither Constantinople?

Wasn't there a shop once called What Everyone Wants? Where did everyone go? How come Do It All don't?

What of Kwiksave and Cullens and Dolcis and Dillons? And Marathon bars? Is Our Price still ours?

Why did Rumbelows close? What if nobody knows?

Footnote:By the way, all the auction stuff should come with a heavy health warning – forking out for the 'rights' may be a ticket to get embroiled in a massive lawsuit with other people claiming to hold the same trademark. I'll probably give it a miss.