Fight or Flight. You’ve probably heard this expression countless times. However, there’s more to our defensive responses than we previously believed. There’s actually four ways that we respond to situations that we perceive as harmful: Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn.

In Marie’s book, tidying up refers to applying a set of principles to de-clutter your home. However, in this two-part blog series we’re going to talk tidying up your life (Part 1) and your relationships (Part 2) by applying principles based upon Marie’s method.

In the winter, people are often more drawn to staying in and staying cozy--replacing late nights with a turn inwards. Beyond hygge, winter also often brings the blues. The sun is setting earlier and the air is biting cold. On a physiological level, our bodies are struggling with the lack of daylight. On an emotional level, you may not be feeling quite yourself. February has the echoes of family pressure from the holidays, along with cycles of frustration brought on by New Year’s resolutions. We find ourselves in need of balance and care.

When our life circumstances change, our friends often change with them. Cross-country moves introduce us to new social groups; coupledom expands our inner circles; and parenthood fosters additional bonds. Gone are the days when our closest confidants were just a short drive away. Now, get-togethers are planned months in advance and frequent flier miles are racked up with regularity.

But what about being a good friend to ourselves? We put heart and soul into our sisterhoods (and brotherhoods!) but can forget that it starts with being kind to the fresh face we greet in the mirror each morning.

Self-compassion or treating yourself with the same kindness as you would a close friend, can radically change the way you relate to yourself. Check out these 12 tips for doling out some serious self-love.

Are YOU frantically swimming upstream, bucking the actual flow of life?

In my therapy room a lot of this uphill swimming is due to trauma, stress, struggles with self and purpose. However sometimes what seems like stress can at times be ANXIETY.

Everyone experiences anxiety in one form or another. However, there is a large difference between having an anxiety disorder and feeling anxious every now and then. For instance, it is pretty common and typical for someone to be anxious before they take an exam but becoming so anxious that they don't eat and decide to not show up to the exam at all could be a sign that that person has a disorder.

Anxiety disorders themselves range from being mild to severe and it can also depend on what triggers a person's experiences and how often. In short, anxiety is a broad term that ultimately depends on the individual.

It can be difficult to describe anxiety to someone who has never truly experienced it like the people who have disorders do.

Social media is full of attempted explanations, but there are still those people who tell us to "get over it," "don't think about it so much," and "there's no reason to be anxious."

One of the biggest misunderstandings about having anxiety is that most of the time we know that there isn't any real reason to be anxious, and that our minds are overreacting. The thing is though, it just feels impossible for us to turn it off and think logically in that moment. There's not a whole lot we can do.

As a therapist that specializes in ANXIETY - I get you.

Anxiety is like swimming in the ocean with no land in sight: The mind has a keen way of magnetizing events of our lives. What can seem small and insignificant to one is massive in scale to another. Consider a 7ft man floating in an ocean 450ft deep. While he is large on land, the ocean proves a great challenge to his sense of size.

Anxiety is diving deep underwater, then swimming back up to the surface, but the surface is farther away that it seemed so you suddenly feel as if you are about to drown.

Side-Note: Did you know that --> Swimming is a great way to drown-out stress and anxiety as you embrace every stroke?

*** Swimming can significantly reduce symptoms like stress, anxiety and depression. Swimming triggers the release of endorphins, the natural feel-good hormone while stopping the secretion of fight-or-flight stress hormones. It also promotes the growth of new brain cells that atrophies under chronic stress and anxiety.

The power is in the “white space” when it comes to our daily lives… the more time you give yourself to stop and take a breath, instead of scheduling yourself every minute of your day, the more focused and clear you will be when you ARE at the meetings and working on the important projects and tasks that are needed from you.

Here are 4 simple steps to help you create more white space in your days…

1. Stop and take a hard look at your calendar. How much space and time do you allow yourself in between meetings and time frames within your day? If you find yourself going from one thing to the next, with no breathing room in between items, focus on more planning time with your calendar. Giving yourself even a few minutes of breathing room can make a huge impact on your performance and in your day.

2. Don’t say “yes” to everything, or at a minimum say “not right now.” White space doesn’t just happen – you have to create it and schedule it.

3. Leave time at the end of your day for planning and clean-up. This must be SCHEDULED time – consider it your most important appointment of the day and make it a priority every single day. Use this time to re-cap the day, clean up your desk, empty that email box and, most importantly, plan for the next day. This way, you get to leave work at work and focus on the things and people in your life during your off-hours.

4. Let go of the feelings that you have to get it all done right now! This frenetic way of thinking is perpetuated in our society and it’s very counterproductive. We all look very busy and important making calls, hurrying off to meetings, ticking off item after item that needs to be done to get through the day. Although your appointments, meetings and tasks are all very important, keep in mind the mantra that if EVERYTHING is important, then NOTHING is important!