Perfume takes Austinite on journey toward wedding, writing a book

Alyssa Harad stumbled into a perfume obsession by accident. She didn't decide one day to start collecting fragrance samples or obsessively research perfume blogs. The seductive language of perfume slowly lured her in, took over her senses and awakened a new appreciation of herself.

Harad's book, "Coming to My Senses: A Story of Perfume, Pleasure and an Unlikely Bride" (Viking, $25.95), is a memoir of self-discovery and renewed passion for family, her reluctant journey to the wedding altar and life in general. Lovers of perfume and the English language will appreciate the way Harad describes each perfume note and essence, making the reader want more.

Visiting with Harad in her Cherrywood neighborhood home is immediately like falling into a conversation with an old friend. She has a gentle demeanor, yet is very gregarious and passionate when speaking about the levels of emotion or multiple personas perfume can evoke.

Harad slowly began her journey through an often private, secretive world of perfume fanatics. Always bookish and fascinated by learning — she has an undergraduate degree from Harvard University and a doctorate in English from the University of Texas — Harad stumbled upon perfume blogs late one night and fell down a rabbit hole of perfume discovery.

As Harad slowly began to divulge to her friends and family her perfume obsession, she often was met with other perfume love stories from friends. Very few were shocked she was involved in this secret world. She says they were taken aback, however, at how obsessed she was. And she was, too.

At the same time, a small part of Harad didn't want to share her private infatuation with others. She equates it with falling in love with someone. At first, you might be a little afraid of how your friends will react toward your significant other. You want to protect your love interest and shy away from criticism.

"It's often a tender place for us. We don't want to be judged, or maybe we feel a little guilty for the pleasures we already have in our lives," Harad says.

It's the frivolity of perfume that some might find extravagant. But, Harad relates the love of perfume to those who obsess over wine, cheeses, chocolate and specialty food niches.

"At its heart, perfume is about extravagance and dress up, costume and fantasy. It's dessert. It's not something we need. And yet, it is, because don't we all need a little dessert in our lives?" Harad says.

In the book, much of Harad's perfume research led her back to childhood memories or moments when a certain fragrance helped her reconnect with emotions from the past or become another persona. She compares this transporting to the same qualities music evokes.

"We all have a song that we put on that makes us feel kind of fierce or something that is very soft and tender and has room for us to feel melancholy or some sort of memories associated with it," Harad says. "I think scent does the same thing because it is abstracted in the same way. We're processing it in a different part of our brains than something we can feel and touch."

But, how can someone with no knowledge of perfumes separate notes, undertones and feelings associated with different smells? Harad says anyone can do it. She didn't know a thing about perfume at the beginning of her journey and equates it to learning a new language.

Harad recalls the first thoughts she had when reading perfume blogs: How fascinating it was to realize the writer could describe smells happening together over time, developing into stories or painting a picture. The frustrating part came when she didn't possess a basic "perfume vocabulary." She went searching for it as any good academic would do.

"Long before I wanted to smell anything, it was the prose, descriptions and storytelling that sucked me in," Harad says.

In a process Harad playfully refers to as "nerdy," she went to malls, gathered perfume blotters, took notes, referred back to the blogs and smelled for distinguishable traits.

Harad doesn't experiment with creating her own fragrances because she knows how difficult it is to do it well. She appreciates how complex it is to combine oils and essences that ultimately involve a lot of organic chemistry.

Harad believes women should be able to choose whether to have a "signature scent" or rather dress themselves in multiple perfumes.

"I think having a signature scent is a beautiful idea. When someone smells it somewhere else, they think of you. It's a little piece of you that you leave behind. It's very romantic," Harad says.

Harad doesn't have a favorite perfume. She lets her emotions and the moment dictate what she wears each day. She is never "disgusted" by a scent she smells, she is, however, fascinated by those animalic scents that are often thought of as taboo — sweat, fecal, sex, musk. Animalic scents have long been tradition in French perfume and fragrances with notes of jasmine belong in that category as well.

"Those animalic smells are also a big part of what we think about when we think about desire and attraction, going back and forth between repulsion and attraction," Harad says.

Harad wrote the book to show how a love for something unexpected could change one person's life.

"It was worth writing because it was about how perfume was a door I went through to become a different person," Harad says. "To wake up to the amount of joy there was in the world, the idea of pursuing something just because it's beautiful and for no other reason. I desperately want someone to have that in their lives."