Weekend Watch List: PALINKA!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and take the redeye home from Los Angeles. Has anyone woken up refreshed after sleeping for three hours on a six-hour overnight flight? Anyone? If you’re the kind of person who can sleep clean through one of these flights, just know that I don’t like you and your superpowers. LET’S GO!

SARAH PAILN’S ALASKA – 9:00PM Sunday (TLC) The former Vice Presidential candidate has a new reality show! Watch as she raises a family and shoots things. You know you love her, America. ANTICIPATION: WINK WINK!

SUPERNANNY – 8:00PM Tonight (ABC) Jo tries to curtail an Arizona couple obsessed with hot saucing their kids. This is when you punish your kid by throwing a dash of hot sauce in their mouth so that it burns. Lisa Whelchel (Blair from “Fact of Life”) is a public advocate of this strategy, which lets you know just how scientifically credible it is. I for one disagree with any punishment method that makes Frank’s Red Hot out to be the bad guy. Children should not learn to fear Frank’s. They should embrace the peppery goodness! Or else they’ll grow up too afraid to eat anything other than stale Irish soda bread and potato mush. Meanwhile, your Sri Lankan neighbor’s kid can throw down liquid red curry by the gallon. Toughen up your palate, America! ANTICIPATION: SAUCY!

CSI: NEW YORK – 9:00PM Tonight (CBS) John Larroquette guest stars tonight in the case of a woman who is literally scared to death. Perhaps from seeing Larroquette’s Twitter feed. At the very least, this episode will hopefully cool the jets of people who tell you they were LITERALLY scared to death when they weren’t at all. Nothing is worse than people who overuse that word improperly. I LITERALLY want to hunt them down. ANTICIPATION: LITERAL!

SNL – 11:30PM Saturday (NBC) Scarlett Johansson hosts, and Arcade Fire is the musical guest. I don’t know which one will turn on citizens of Williamsburg more. I went to the same school at the Arcade Fire’s lead singer. No one seems to care when I put it on my resume. ANTICIPATION: PLAY REBELLION (LIES)!

EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION – 8:00PM Sunday (ABC) That lady from “The Blind Side” shows up (the real one, not Sandra Bullock) to help the team rebuild a school. Oh, I see. You ABC folks saw NBC’s “School Pride” and thought you’d just muscle it out, did you?! SCOUNDRELS! Also appearing to help out are Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, and LeAnn Rimes, who will presumably steal the school’s principal from his wife. ANTICIPATION: BUILDY!