Trolley chick: The ground apparently and the left wheel of a game trolley.

Griff: Right, before we get to the introductions and what nots, first tell us: Do you still have tits? And how does your koek feel, because that was one fuckin' hard fall off that trolley. You also seem tall, so you must have travelled for months before hitting the earth. Hard. Amongst the tits.

Trolley chick: Haha! Well, to tell you the truth, I only have 1.5 tits, as the other half landed on the floor and probably got sold on the black market by some sangoma who found it on the road. I heard for one breast you can get up to R1000, so let's hope for his sake he made some nice cash from me. I'd love to say I have long giraffe legs, but I'm actually quite small – only 1.65cm tall… I mean meters.

Griff: Mkaaay… Why do you steal trolleys?

Trolley chick: I hi-jacked the trolley off some homeless guy. Don't worry, he got it back. In my Superwoman 101 handbook I thought a trolley would be a good way to teach all super women wannabe's how to fly.

Griff: It was a poescool landing. Where did this whole thing happen and who was the person standing ready with the camera?

Trolley chick: One of SA's up and coming photographers, Garreth Wheeler (GM Wheeler) was ready and waiting with the cam. He was meant to be taking a still photograph. Little did I know he caught the entire incident on camera. "Who's the idiot now??" Haha!!

Griff: Your airbags came in handy. So what was your cupsize before the unfortunate accident?

Trolley chick: Haha! Dynamite comes in small packages, so these babies may be small (size 34B), but believe me they are dynamite. However, I am a fan of the noombies and may ONE DAY just treat the boys to a little enlargement… you just gonna have to wait and see…

Griff: We'll be in touch. Pun intended. Normally people just make sex tapes. A kopkou here, a vleisdas there. Are you aware of any other videos out there of yourself?

Trolley chick: Haha, there may be a private HOME collection, but sorry boys those will NOT be getting out so you gonna have to enjoy the pictures and maybe a few more trolley videos. Maybe I will do a bush dive next…

Griff: I have too many visuals in my head now. Anyway, now that we've got all that out of the way, please introduce yourself to the Watkykertjies. Who are you, where are you from and what do you do apart from moering off trolleys?

Trolley chick: Hello Watkykertjie rockstars. My name is Lisa. Entrepreneur by heart, own my own events company called "Just Add". You can get anything you want from us. We customize services for clients by just adding anything you want to all events, campaigns, brand activations and we throw really cool parties.I also own a production company called BMO (Big Moving Objects) with Paul Clark and we come up with cool concepts for SA TV programmes.I am also one of the co-hosts on the new IAN F show on 2Oceansvibe Radio.

Griff: So if I for instance decided to gooi one moerse Watkykjy party in Joburg or Snor City, you would be the person to put such a thing together?

Lisa Davis: I put the animal in Party Animal, so yes, I could organise a piss up in an eskimo hut… LIVE IT UP!!! Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n Roll and gooi in some watkykertjies 😉

Griff: Are you sure your tits are OK, because we have a long queue of people who would just like to make sure, you know, out of concern for your health.

Lisa Davis: I will be setting up assessment points all around Johannesburg. Let me know when you want to make an appointment, so you can give me a full assessment.
Griff: Don't worry. I will keep your number safe…

It is with the utmost effort that I construct the English sentences that you will hopefully glide your eyes over, probably in a most seductive way.

My only request is that you will leave your two funbagos intact, do not alter them in any way. They are perfect while they are in their natural state. (I do have other requests, and dreams, but this is the only one that I dare make public and which you might entertain with any degree of seriousness).

All of us must have a cause – it defines us as useful human beings. I have two: For masturbation to take its rightful place amongst the sports of the world, and to rid breasts of implants by 2030. You can lend a hand.

As a footnote, you could have seriously hurt yourself, or innocent bystanders, if you already had implants.

Hello all you crazy fuckers.
Just want to say thanks for all the Mad support,you okes ROCK!!Even though I cant read afrikaans and I laugh so loud when I pick up certain words and then have to get my afrikaans girl friends to translate for me.
AMOS- you are the best!! Thanks for digging " al – Natutral" and for writing to me in engels, is baie lekker!!
Keep rocking on kids and GRIFF you are the shit.

@LISA – I have never been in love, but I think I am now, if love is the tingling feeling I get as if the tongue of a butterfly is licking the line from my ballas to knob every time I see you scantily clad in a picture. Was that sentence too long for good English? I am sorry, my current girl always complains about the length. BTW, I will drop her like a 3 cylinder Chery CC at a robot to robot dice if you agree to reveal to the eyes of youth your pink-tipped mounds of milky desire. On WKJ of course. We are all appreciative, well-adjusted adults who love the female form in an arty kind a way.