Confidence versus Arrogance (video)

How do you become confident without appearing arrogant or overconfident?

In this video, I explain what causes arrogance and it might be different to what you’d expect!

In fact, arrogance is the son of insecurity.

When you understand that, you can cultivate confidence easily and gracefully.

Watch the video now:

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Prefer to read instead? Here’s the full transcript:

How can I become confident without becoming overconfident or even arrogant?

My name is Jules Wyman and I am the author of the book, “If we can, you can”

To me, understanding what confidence is and also what it is not is key to making those changes where your confidence is concerned.

Understanding that arrogance or over confidence as it is sometimes referred to is actually the son of insecurity. Arrogant behaviours stem, the majority of the time, out of insecurities.

So, if somebody is feeling (like I knew I used to feel myself) uncomfortable in social situations, how I would cope with that is that I would do what would be deemed as arrogant behaviours. So I would talk about myself a lot or I would not talk at all. Or I would, kind of, like have to fluff myself up so that I felt bigger and therefore safer in some senses.

And it was basically that I would do quite a lot of behaviours talking over other people or wanting to be the funny one , always being opinionated, talking a lot, all of those behaviours were strategies to cover up what was really going on for me which was that I was feeling so uncomfortable and really insecure in those kinds of situations.

Now I feel so different about myself and understand confidence to know that is about me feeling secure with who I am not in competition or not against or in comparison to anybody else so therefore I don’t have to always be heard. I don’t have to talk over somebody else or talk about me. I’m more than happy to know about them, what’s going on for them and have that kind of conversation. It’s a very different situation to be in. So when you can understand the difference between arrogance and confidence, then as you grow your confidence there’s no way you are going to step into those realms of over confidence and arrogance behaviours.

I hope that helps you grow your confidence and I look forward to seeing you again on one of the other videos.