The wacky world of Allstar Weekend One of the perks of being a credible music journalist for a major weekly is that record labels are always sending you free promo CDs, hoping you'll find the time to shine the light of your critical expertise upon them (and liberally quote the press kit).

Plus El DeBarge's year, Chris Brown's tears, and Justin Bieber's heart "2010 could end up being the year of EL DEBARGE ," says mtv.com. Wait! I know I make shit up all the time, but they actually said that.

Plus Gallagher goes begging, Bieber gets erased, Abdul loses time In an interview with Nylon magazine, M.I.A. offered a shocking revelation about the Web sites we use every day: "Google and Facebook were developed by the CIA, and when you're on there, you have to know that."

Plus Weezy debudded, Ant derided, Michaels bandanna’d More evidence of the sickening barbarity of America’s penal institutions: Lil Wayne is being hassled because officers found headphones and the charger for an MP3 player in his cell.

The week in corporate sponsorships You know, I might stop following real music journalism altogether. Press releases are so much better. Just when I start thinking it’s a slow week in silly pop news, I check the PR wire — a/k/a the bottom of the barrel — and dig up two of the greatest items I’ve ever seen .

M.I.A.’s ultraviolent new video misses the target If you’re a dedicated follower of pop, you’ve no doubt heard about M.I.A.’s shocking new video for “Born Free,” the lead single from her upcoming album.

RIP Chilton, Guru, and editorial tact Back in January, I predicted that, because of medical advances and the prospect of universal health care, no musicians would die in this decade. Unfortunately, it hasn’t turned out that way.

Who Charted? We may scoff at the very idea of Billboard ’s ignominious Ringtones chart, but mobile phones are one of only three viable revenue channels musicians have left these days (the other two being commercial licensing and crooked charities).

The week in YouTube comments It’s almost impossible to read a single page of YouTube comments without being confronted by society’s ugliest afflictions: ignorance, pointless fights, horrifying racism, and unfair criticism of Justin Bieber’s haircut.

Who charted? Billboard's Top Christian Songs edition True, I may be the wrong guy to review the top tracks on the Billboard Christian Songs chart. I’m not religious, so songs about Jesus mean about as much to me as songs about Popeye.

Plus creepy Macca spawn sings; iffy Ringo joke aborted MEN AT WORK — best known for their 1983 hit "Down Under" — have just had their pants sued off by a dead schoolmarm and her 78-year-old Girl Scout song.