Tuesday, July 01, 2008

It's time to get real ladies and gentlemen. People ask me a lot how I get up the guts to get real on the blog. The truth is I am SICK, SICK, SICK of people feeling all alone because they think everyone else is less screwed up than them. It's ridiculous. We all have our times we are flying high and our times we are doing a nose dive. Why do we all pretend? It's all a pack of lies wrapped in a bunch of arrogance. So I am going to give it my best shot and TRY to get real on this blog. This is a get real zone. No bull allowed.

So I am NOT simply breezing through this transition. It's not the children. The kids are awesome! Kaiya is precious. I have found over the years that the problem is RARELY about the kids. Yes, they are sinful and challenging and create a lot of work. The truth is though... they push buttons that show off my sin. They show me just how impatient, selfish and ugly I can truly be.

Man.... I do not know how to do this yet. Some days I think I am getting it... but seriously. 3 kids is WAY harder than two. Man alive, I feel like my work tripled with one more kid. My house is messy so much. I am trying not to let it make me crazy. You moms with 6 kids, 11 kids go ahead and giggle. You deserve a good laugh. I am at a loss for how you do the amazing job that many of you do. I am doing good just to barely keep up. Every day is a success if the mess doesn't get significantly WORSE, everyone got fed, had a bit of fun and paid some attention. LOL!! ;0)

I am a three kid rookie!!! Plus, Kaiya has the mentality of a two year old in a lot of ways but really acts more like 18 months old physically. I am having to adjust to having a baby again. It's tough to go back after having so much freedom. I was spoiled with just a 9 and 5 year old. I am really struggling to readjust to this new life and dive into where I am now. It's hard because this new reality feels so different from the one I was in 1 month ago. I know from experience that these moments pass so quickly! I want to soak it in. Mentally I just haven't gotten there yet. I need to surrender to where I am supposed to be right now even if that means everything looks like chaos to me.

Anyway.... that's the truth in my house. Would you watch this video for me and then accept my GET REAL challenge? I challenge every one of us to start being a little more real with the people around us. Let's just be where we are, who we are, and trust God. Let's all accept that we can't do better. We can only surrender more fully. Let's all be OK with not being OK all the time and love each other anyway- then see what happens. That's my challenge.

If you will accept my challenge and write your own GETTING REAL blog post would you link it to mine by entering your info below? I would love to hear your thoughts on what is REALLY going on and why we should all just get real with each other.

41 comments:

Girl don't you kid yourself. Those of us with lots of kids have lots of messes. I was looking around before I got online at how messy things were. We have all been there. As for adjusting it is hard going from 2 to 3. I remember in the older kids adding that third child threw me for a loop. Hang in there and it will get better. She will adjust a little more and before long you will adjust too. Soon you will think it is a breeze.

Don't be too hard on yourself. For me, I was most overwhelmed going from 1 to 2 kids...basically because of the age of my kids...they were 22 months apart. The 3rd seemed easy as he came a long 3 years later and I was already used to juggling pure chaos;) But seriously, there is a HUGE difference between a 9 year old and a 2 year old. You will adjust. Goodness...it's only been a month. Think about life when KK was only 1 month old. You will learn to let things go more than you ever have before and you will find your balance (well somewhat) and then when #4, and 5, and 6 come along it will seem like no big deal! lol ps. trust me. my house is trashed ALOT!

I really enjoyed reading your post. I actually do try to keep it real on most of my posts but sometimes I feel SO very alone when I do. I love being a mom but some days are just tougher than others. And the constant mess...drives me crazy! Going from two to three was harder than three to four quite honestly. And yes, having a baby again is not easy. We had gotten to a very comfortable age with the older kids when we brought home a very sullen toddler. Then we just about had her on that route to indpendence when we brought home a baby. And sometimes that empty house/empty nest looks REALLY far away. I will also say though that I truly enjoy these baby moments in a way I don't think I did with the others. I think I know it is probably the end of the baby moments for me (though I waiver on that constantly) and I am treasuring them. Well, most of them! :) Oh, and you amaze me. You are this brave, adventurous woman...raising three kids, doting on your husband, traveling, doing missions. I really am in awe of you!Reba

Hi!! Hang in there!! We just brought 2 boys home from Haiti on May 13th...there were so many days i felt that i was drowning!! I thought 'what have we done, we are past out limit!!' I had to focus daily on God's plan and just do the basics to survive. It is getting a bit easier from day to day....then we may hit another tough day..I enjoy reading your blog and will start sharing more REAL feelings on mine. It is hard at times when your read those perfect peoples blogs..i start to wonder why I am having such a hard time. Thanks for being real!love,Renee

I love it Angel! If I had a blog I would type away. I love getting real. It's sad when I find myself trying to be one of those shiny plastic people. I'm so grateful to have friends that I can be real with!

Angel,Thanks for being real or I would always think that you have it all together. :o)I still am impressed you manage to keep a blog. I appreciate it. I have read 3 of the books you recommended. I sure wish I had "Dangerous Surrender" in 1989 when I came back for a trip around the world that involved mission work and seeing some hard stuff. Would of perhaps saved me some therapy money and from the depression she mentions.

Anyway, I wanted to pass this on regarding being real. I don't have a blog. I haven't even managed to go out and buy a digital camera yet let alone organize my piles of photos. :o) There is a book called "Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe" by Todd Wilson. He has a website: www.familymanweb.com . It is about being real and much applies to non-home schoolers too. He has an excellent book for dads as well. Anyway, I think a lot of the book applies to non-homeschoolers as well. Here are the lies.....#1 Everyone else's kids are better. #2 Everyone else's home is cleaner #3 Everyone else fixes better meals. #4 Everyone else is more disciplined and more spiritual. #5 Everyone else's marriage is better. #6 Everyone else can do it all. #7 Every other mom loves home schooling. #8 Everyone else is more ccapable. #9 You are the only one who is falling apart and feels the way you feel. Then he goes into the truths. Don't we all get hooked by these lies and others. I sure do. He suggests getting at least one other person to be real with so you do not feel alone. Angel, you have done that also with your post. Thank you. Keep the raisens on the floor...makes me feel better about myself and the piles in my house. :o)Julie

Angel... I finally did it.I won't pretend to like it and it's so long that I decided to break it up... so the link is to part 1... my struggle with letting go and really trusting God... and failing and running and hiding and trying....Getting real for HIS glory,Holly

Angel... I finally did it.I won't pretend to like it and it's so long that I decided to break it up... so the link is to part 1... my struggle with letting go and really trusting God... and failing and running and hiding and trying....Getting real for HIS glory,Holly

I love a sister committed to living an authentic, transparent life. Of course I can't relate, seeing how my life is perfect and all! :) What a joke-- praise the Lord for His abounding grace in our lives, huh??

Great post. I plan on getting real once I can get my house clean and kids to obey!!

Love it Angel! I posted mine. Going from 2 to 3 kids is by far the hardest transition. You are not alone in that. I also feel like my kids are really not the problem. It is my sinfulness that is the problem, and it just manifests itself into the kids. Also, love the song, it is one of my favorite's by Casting Crowns. If you get a chance maybe we can connect by phone finally. Email me if you need my number again.Melinda

Okay, this is the first time I've ever read your blog. (I got it from Christine's blog.) Anyway, I wanted to say that I was thinking of that exact song (Stained Glass Masquerade) as I read your post. Thank you for "keeping it real". I am a pastor's wife and a homeschool mom and I am not perfect. I will be posting and linking back to your blog later today. Just wanted to say thanks for the prompt. We need more people that are REAL.

Angel,I am Elizabeth's sister and hear about you quite often, and want you to know that even though we have never met you have touched my life. So I took your challenge...and am scared to death of what people might think, and then realized that it is that fear that hinders how real I am. So I am going to leave it at Jesus' feet,and take of the mask I have been hiding behind. Check out our blog http://paulandcynthia.blogspot.com

Hey Angel...GREAT POST!! I have been thinking of Getting Real about some very personal and yet IMPORTANT issues in our family... and this might be just the challenge that I needed to GET IT DONE. I will work on that in the next few days.

As for the changes in #2 and going to 3 kids... I had those moments when I thought... HOLY COW, what just happened?? But it really does get better. I think that you start to decide what's IMPORTANT and what is NOT. In the end...looking back and knowing that your kids were loved, your family was of utmost importance... and that you were honoring God - everything else really doesn't matter!!

We will keep praying for you during the adjustments! IT will all get better!

I found you through Krista's blog. This was SO HARD! I hope that you will take th time to read this and pray in agreement with me that God is going to do a powerful work in these areas of my life. Thanks for being "real."

Also, Your youngest daughter sounds alot like the little boy we have just adopted. We bring him home on the 18th. He is 21 months but actaully is more like an 11 month old---- across the board. He also has special needs including a cleft pallete.

I don't have kids...I don't have a job anymore, I finished school just now and I am about to loose the person that I have been with for almost 8 years now...I have no idea what to do next, so I guess i'll take more classes to get distracted...I'm also taking french lesson for whatever it's worth...,my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer and he just had surgery nad ther removed almost his whole stomach, I've been dealing with depression for more than 5 months now, and trying to hide it from everyone, since my mom is also depressed...I've failed in every single asect of my life...I've made a career out of making bad choices...and still I have no idea of what to do next...But i have my FAMILY and sooo many people don't even have anything to eat specially in Guatemala...I've turned on the TV only to watch the news and feel better (which is really depressing...) but at the end of the day God has given me everything and waaaaaay more of what i deserve...Thank you for posting you just have absolutely no idea of how good this made me feel specially today...I kept thinking in my head that everyone around me looks just fine and I'm the only one falling apart here...God bless you and your wonderful family

Hey Angel - Well, I'm learning to step out there in the world of blogging and learning to be transparent. I would say I'm pretty transparent about all my "stuff" and "stories" in everyday life with whomever, whenever, because I know we all wear masks and pretend we don't, and I know if I remove my mask with someone else, that helps give them permission to remove their mask. But it has been more challenging to me to do so via my blog site...so, I'm challenged and inspired. Thanks for the invitation to practice real authenticity and vulnerability in the WWW. Love, Michelle

This is SOOO great...you and I were definitely on the same wavelength last week. :) I got the link to your blog from the comment you left on my "Keeping it Real" post! Thanks for the encouragement! God Bless!

Thank you for doing this. Oh, the body of Christ is getting real! I can see it out there. What a breath of fresh air. We are sooooo not perfect. We often wish we were, but we just are not. We DO have a perfect Savior. That is good enough for me. I really loved your most recent post about Getting Real, above. God has been calling me to the same sort of "getting real" stuff, and I have been posting about my own "True Confessions." hope you enjoy my confessions. Thanks for getting real.

I found your blog through the blog of a friend of a friend. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to reading more. Thanks for the challenge. I am inspired and look forward to rising to the challenge!Thank you!

I'm not even sure how I found your blog but I was struckwith how pertinent your Get Real post was for what I have been feeling. I took you up on your challenge to keep it real - one that I really have a hard time with but I did it! Thanks for the encouragment!Erinn

Kai Justice

About Me

My name is Angel. I'm 34 yrs old. I'm a homeschooling, gluten free, Jesus loving, Disney going, Twilight reading, nose ring wearing, picture taking,world traveling, orphan holding warrior girl of a mom to 4 beautiful children. Each of our children is such a blessing. I can't imagine life without the joy they bring. Of course... never 2 b forgotten...I have an amazing husband (Russ) who I adore w/all of my heart. I would pick him over any man in the world- hands down. Plus he is super hot too. :o) Living an average life doesn't cut it for us. Who knows what wild adventures lie ahead. I guess I have what most people might consider kind of a crazy life. I wouldn't want it any other way. My life is amazing. The ups and downs have taught me so much along the way. I am excited to see where God leads us. It's gonna be GREAT! Join us for the journey... Angel

Dangerous Surrender Book Club

Our Deepest Fear- by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Where are my readers from?

Change A Life With Only $25!!!!!

Our Cast of Characters

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Nonny

Polka Dot

This is Polka Dot! She is married to Grandpa- Angel's Mother

Grandpa

This is Grandpa! He is married to Polka Dot- Angel's Father

Cousin Lauren

This is Lauren! (the one in the middle)

Lauren

This is Lauren and her brothers. You knew her as Esperanza if you followed Zoe's adoption in Guatemala. Zoe and Lauren were very close in Guatemala as they both waited to be adopted. Now Lauren lives in the US with her biological brothers (shown with her here) who were adopted before she was and her wonderful new parents!

Tia Bek

This is Tia Bek. She is my mom's best buddy and a part of the family. Zoe adores her and Bek speaks to her in Spanish to help her keep it as a second language.

Scott and Carol

This is Scott and Carol with Lauren. They are her parents. These people are beyond amazing. They adopted Lauren's younger siblings. Her youngest brother had a rare extremely life threatening disease. After over a year of battling for his life they started the process to adopt Lauren. They are some of the strongest people I know. I am so grateful that we get to know them through our girls. We are meeting them in Sea World this summer with all our kiddos! YAY!

Lidia

This is Lidia! She was Zoe's foster sister in Guatemala. She was waiting along with Lauren and Zoe. She came home to her amazing family in the US a couple of months before Zoe. She was nine years old when she got home. Zoe and Lidia are extremely close. We went to visit them in July.

Lidia's family

This is Lidia's family! They are experienced in the adoption world. Before they adopted Lidia they adopted Bayla (their youngest) from China. Now Brinley has come home from China too. Congrats! Lisa (Lidia's Momma) found me from my blog during our first visit to Guatemala. She just "happened" to run across my blog and see that my pictures (of Zoe) had the same house furniture as her pics of Lidia. She wrote to me and SURE ENOUGH our girls were foster sisters. We had the same lawyer but different agencies. We probably never would have met if God hadn't intervened. Now we are great friends!

G- foster mommy

We will call this sweet lady G for her privacy- she was Zoe's foster mommy in Guatemala. She is wonderful and I have the highest respect for the love and care she gave my sweet girl. Zoe lived with her for over a year before coming home with us. I truly thank God for this wonderful foster family. Zoe speaks with G and her family on the phone often.

The struggle to bring Zoe home- Praise You In This Storm

My Husband- LOOK AT THOSE MOVES!

My Christmas 2006 Gift To My Blogger Buddies- a tribute to our children

Zoe's first blog interview after we brought her home- Jan 07 home 2 months