I need opinions on whether this is mortal sin or not. I judged that it was deliberate venial sin, so I have been to Communion twice since I committed the sin, but now I am questioning my judgement. My husband and mother-in-law and I were talking on the patio having a glass of wine. My husband told his mother that his daughter's friend has had bad luck with men and is currently working at a job that allows her to have her boyfriend on her insurance policy. I then had to chime in and say, "Yeah, she's shacking up." I knew I probably shouldn't say that before I said it and then afterwards I felt guilty. This is a young woman that lives in another state, and she is not from our town so there is no one that my mother-in-law would even be able to repeat this to. The young woman is not trying to keep the fact that she is living with her boyfriend a secret-- that we know of anyway. But it was quite uncharitable for me to phrase it like that, and I felt so bad that I included the young woman in my rosary and in the divine mercy chaplet I said that evening. Like I said, I judged that I had committed a deliberate venial sin, but I didn't think it was mortal b/c I didn't know before I said it that I would be committing mortal sin and it is not a "secret" that the woman is living with someone and there is no way her reputation can be ruined. However, my mother-in-law has met the young woman a couple of times, so she does know who she is. Did I commit mortal sin?

Also that same evening my husband told his mom and me why his former boss got fired, and I said, "Wow, that's BAD." Again this is not a person from our town (or even our state) and my mother-in-law has never met him (although I have a few times), and there is no one either of us is going to tell. There is no one who knows him or cares. But I still am not sure if I participated in detraction by saying, "Wow, that's BAD." instead of telling him, "You shouldn't be saying that." Opinions?

Detraction is the unjust damaging of another's good name by the revelation of some fault or crime of which that other is really guilty or at any rate is seriously believed to be guilty by the defamer.

An important difference between detraction and calumny is at once apparent. The calumniator says what he knows to be false, whilst the detractor narrates what he at least honestly thinks is true. Detraction in a general sense is a mortal sin, as being a violation of the virtue not only of charity but also of justice. It is obvious, however, that the subject-matter of the accusation may be so inconspicuous or, everything considered, so little capable of doing serious hurt that the guilt is not assumed to be more than venial. The same judgment is to be given when, as not unfrequently happens, there has been little or no advertence to the harm that is being done.

When you said what you did about the girl, it was more of an impulse, rather than a deliberate act committed with full knowledge and consciousness.

So, although lacking in charity, I would say it's venial sin, not mortal.

The second case, was again, just a response like, WOW. It also didn't damage the reputation of the person for the information was revealed to you, not you to others who had no right to the information, nor for the purpose of stroking your own ego.

It doesn't sound like you went out of your way to ruin someone elses reputation. Idle gossip is sinful but usually only moderately wrong.

I think for something like this to be considered a mortal sin. The detraction would have to be very vicious and deliberate. IF you stick to the truth, and tell only what you know is true, you can generally steer away from serious problems. Of course, even revealing the truth about someone else's sins can be sinful also.

As always, IF you did not think it was a mortal sin to start with then it is not a moratl sin. Even IF it were grave matter, which in this case it was not, you still did not commit a mortal sin, because you did not consider it a serious sin at the time that you did so.

I'm not questioning whether the OP's sin was mortal or not. I just am hung up on the use of "deliberate".

By difinition, if a sin is "deliberate", is it not considered mortal?

There is deliberate venial sin and deliberate mortal sin. You have to measure whether the sin committed deliberately is venial and mortal....period. To start picking sins apart in excess is scrupulosity and frowned upon.

So yes, there is "deliberate" sin but the severity depends on it being venial or mortal. Not all deliberate sin is mortal. Any deliberately done sin is something one must learn to control so as not to fall into the habit of deliberate sin, which can then be very hard to break in the long run.

There is deliberate venial sin and deliberate mortal sin. You have to measure whether the sin committed deliberately is venial and mortal....period. To start picking sins apart in excess is scrupulosity and frowned upon.

So yes, there is "deliberate" sin but the severity depends on it being venial or mortal. Not all deliberate sin is mortal. Any deliberately done sin is something one must learn to control so as not to fall into the habit of deliberate sin, which can then be very hard to break in the long run.

For a sin to be mortal, three conditions msut together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.

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So you see as the Catechism states, for the deliberate sin to be mortal it must be "grave matter" (mortal) and must fall under the 3 conditions. If the deliberate sin is not "grave matter" then it is a deliberate venial sin.