If you were over 30 years old when you signed up for Facebook, you never got the option to look for "Random Play" — that's what the "kids" are calling it now. Sheryl Sandberg's new No Fun regime at Facebook has taken it a step further: They've removed the Random Play option from some people, including me, who'd already checked it. Now all users' inner sluts have been caged, at least as far as the interface is concerned.

What's wrong with fucking around? Likely, not the sex, as the options to go after Whatever I Can Get and the like were age-based from the start:

That sort of age discrimination is typical of the Valley, and Random Play made it real. So perhaps it was just a reflection of Facebook's early ageism to constrain the site's facilitation of Hookup Culture to Generation Reblog (née Gen Y, née The Millennials). Not too shocking, then, when it was a few bloggers who noticed when even the young and pretty were denied the chance of Random Play action back in January:

The only way to get Random Play now is to have once selected it, and never delete it. Just pretending to be under-30 by altering or deleting your age won't bring Random Play back. We tried - it didn't work in Logan's Run, and it doesn't on Facebook, either. So we tried ringing up Brandee Barker, Facebook PR director, to ask when and why Random Play was yanked, but she's off on an out-of-the-country vacation, at least according to her personal voicemail. Brandee, you're over 30, yes? Help us out, here. We know as well as you there's no use running from Carousel.