These people are taking advantage of your sister.
1)Even if you hire a cleaning service, you are expected to pick up your mess, so the service can get to the cleaning. Otherwise there is a charge for that as well.
2) Teaching children to pick up after themselves is teaching life skills, the parents should be appreciative of your sister's efforts and encourage them.
3) Homeschooling is the parent's responsibility. If they don't want to do it, then they should be paying for a tutor, or private school. A nanny would drive them to school or lessons.
4) I can't for the life of me understand how or why they would want some one with the flu to be responsible for four young children.
5) $8 per hour is no where near the going rate for any of these jobs. If these people have such a good work ethic, they also should appreciate that an employee deserves to be paid a fair wage.

I'm sure there is more...but I don't care if they are family...she should cut this off now before the baby arrives and they expect this nonsense to continue as she cares for her own child.

Originally Posted by KurlyKae

Ditto this!

No way. $8 an hour isn't even minimum wage! I'd quit and let K find out what the going rate for all that work really is. Housecleaners alone cost $20-$25 an hour.

Your sister's sister in law is some piece of work! I can't believe how horribly she is treating your sister and she is totally taking advantage of her.

Also, that is oh so kind that the sister in law will allow her to not do housework while she's sick but still wants her to take care of the kids. How about the health of your sister and her baby? Also, what about the fact that she could get all the sister in laws kids sick also?

Totally unreasonable. My fourteen year old daughter makes $7 to $10 per hour for babysitting. Housecleaners cost $20 to $25/ hr. and does not include laundry, dishes or picking up clutter. I have NO idea what it would cost to privately educate your children, but I know people who pay upwards of $20G's per year for private school - and I know that the teacher to student ratio is far more than 4:1. She is being taken in a big way. Those people should be ashamed.

If you focus on the negative not only is that what you'll see, that's what you'll be.

I didn't even have to read the extra circumstances that erupted out of this.

I don't think $8 an hour is fair for someone to be watching your kids, and cleaning your house for the week.

Working for family, in any aspect, does not work. TRUST ME.

Doing favors for someone because you want to help them doesn't often work out either. Inevitably, someone feels put out, someone gets used, etc, etc, in the end there is a bad relationship because people really wanted to help eachother out.

Work is work. Family is family. Friends are friends. Never the 'twain shall meet.

Finally got to see my sister this last weekend and talk to her about what's going on... and it doesn't look like it's going to change much.

My sister explained to me that K isn't going to pay her any more for the job because paying her more than $8/hr makes K going to work pointless. I think that's lame, and told sister as much & and that she should quit, but her DH's family has this weird "we'll do anything for family" motto/pact thing and for her to break away from that would make her and DH look bad. DH is the youngest of 7 brothers and they ALL work for each other's family businesses. This often translates into the younger 3 (sister's DH plus the two unmarried brothers) bending over backwards doing "jobs" for their brothers with little to no wages. That's just the way things are in that family, apparently, and now my sister is expected to adopt that same mindset.

At least sis won't be expected to work for K when the baby is born. (It's a boy, by the way!!! So excited!) K & her DH don't work during the winter, so she will be teaching and taking care of her own children at that point.

The whole situation is insane. (Have I said that before? UGH!) We're all looking forward to when sis & DH move closer to home after his job for his brother ends next summer.

How far along is your sister? If she knows the sex, at least 4-5 months? I don't know how on earth she plans to keep up with all that work once she gets into her 3rd trimester. I know pregnant moms do it all the time with their own kids, but I would find it very difficult to do all that work for someone else('s kids) near the end of a pregnancy. She and DH can always use that as an excuse.

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Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy

K is an opportunist. she is taking advantage of your sister and might not even see it that way because she might feel that she is doing your sister a favor! 'well, if you were home, you'd be making no money, so atleast you are making some money'. and it does make sense that K isnt gonna raise her $ if it's counter productive for her. and that's understandable. however, forget the pay increase!! just decrease the duties!!!!!!! i'm all about family and helping out, so i can imagine how your sister is feeling. but should be able to speak up to her DH and DH should put his foot down with his family. that's a whole different topic, but DH really needs to have her back in order for the situation to change.

Her husband should put his foot down and take care of wife and baby- boll**ks to all this 'its what family do' cr*p. Im sorry but this whole situtation is making me really angry so Im gonna stop posting.

Your sister also needs to stand up for herself and say no. She needs her husbands support on this matter.

If it's going to be a huge problem(as in losing a job) for them to find another babysitter, then I would suggest lessening the duties. At this point, it's on your sister to make changes since they are not. I hope she doesn't allow people to treat her this way.

I would give no quarter. Bye bye. See you. Family or no family, I'm gone.

I'd rather work part time as a cashier at the Dollar Store for minimum wage. Much easier and less stressfull than having the responsibility of watching and teaching someone's kids plus cleaning and doing laundry!

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Offering to work for family or help them out is one thing... but being expected to? I wouldn't spend my life doing that kind of work unless I truly wanted to. If she doesn't want to, she shouldn't be forced into it through guilt trips or whatever else.

How far along is your sister? If she knows the sex, at least 4-5 months? I don't know how on earth she plans to keep up with all that work once she gets into her 3rd trimester.

Originally Posted by PixieCurl

She's 7 months along now.

Her husband should put his foot down and take care of wife and baby- boll**ks to all this 'its what family do' cr*p. Im sorry but this whole situtation is making me really angry so Im gonna stop posting.
Your sister also needs to stand up for herself and say no. She needs her husbands support on this matter.

Originally Posted by kat180

i'm all about family and helping out, so i can imagine how your sister is feeling. but should be able to speak up to her DH and DH should put his foot down with his family. that's a whole different topic, but DH really needs to have her back in order for the situation to change.

Originally Posted by burgundy_locks

ITA. Standing up to his oldest brother's wife is going to be awkward for him, but it needs to be done. He's been a friend of the family for years, so I felt perfectly comfortable telling him, "Dude, get off your a$$ and go stand up for your wife! They can't treat my little sister like that, and neither can you!"

Are taxes being taken out; did she file a W2; is she declaring the income?
If she has chosen to work illegally, what can you do? She can continue. Or she can quit.

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

No, no taxes or W2. It's illegal? Does that mean babysitters and allowances are illegal too?

This situation just proves that nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

I can't imagine being married to someone who allowed his family to treat me this way. The fact that her husband won't do anything about it because this is the norm with his family blows my mind. It all sounds oppressive to me.

This situation just proves that nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

I can't imagine being married to someone who allowed his family to treat me this way. The fact that her husband won't do anything about it because this is the norm with his family blows my mind. It all sounds oppressive to me.

How far along is your sister? If she knows the sex, at least 4-5 months? I don't know how on earth she plans to keep up with all that work once she gets into her 3rd trimester.

Originally Posted by PixieCurl

She's 7 months along now.

Her husband should put his foot down and take care of wife and baby- boll**ks to all this 'its what family do' cr*p. Im sorry but this whole situtation is making me really angry so Im gonna stop posting.
Your sister also needs to stand up for herself and say no. She needs her husbands support on this matter.

Originally Posted by kat180

i'm all about family and helping out, so i can imagine how your sister is feeling. but should be able to speak up to her DH and DH should put his foot down with his family. that's a whole different topic, but DH really needs to have her back in order for the situation to change.

Originally Posted by burgundy_locks

ITA. Standing up to his oldest brother's wife is going to be awkward for him, but it needs to be done. He's been a friend of the family for years, so I felt perfectly comfortable telling him, "Dude, get off your a$$ and go stand up for your wife! They can't treat my little sister like that, and neither can you!"

Are taxes being taken out; did she file a W2; is she declaring the income?
If she has chosen to work illegally, what can you do? She can continue. Or she can quit.

Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

No, no taxes or W2. It's illegal? Does that mean babysitters and allowances are illegal too?

Originally Posted by OperaCurls

I'm assuming you're joking about allowances. But there is a lot of gray area w/ regard to babysitting and nannying. Weren't two Supreme Court justice nominees passed over because they hadn't withheld taxes for their nannies?

If your sister is working 10-13 hrs a DAY M-F, that is a fulltime job...and there are most likely tax implications if she earns more than the minimum amount ($3000 or something ??? for the year).

The point is, it's (possibly) an exploitive relationship on both sides. The inlaws are abusing her and she is (possibly) abusing the system and (possibly) commiting tax fraud. If she doesn't like the terms of her employment, she should just quit and find a legal job.

That's not to say I don't feel badly for her. I do. But she can quit any time (and should!!!). She's not an indentured servant.

There is this group here in the DC area called Casa de Maryland...its a work center where people that need skilled and/or general laborers can hire people to help them with jobs around the house (yard work, cleaning, and lots of skilled work like electrical and construction). Most of the workers are illegal...but some are US citizens that have been layed off from other jobs. For an unskilled worker, the MINIMUM that they will send a worker out for is for $10hr, and for at LEAST 4 hours a day.

If you can't even get illegal workers to work for less than $10hr, you sister is getting MAJORLY ripped off!

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This situation just proves that nobody can take advantage of you without your permission.

I can't imagine being married to someone who allowed his family to treat me this way. The fact that her husband won't do anything about it because this is the norm with his family blows my mind. It all sounds oppressive to me.

Originally Posted by mrspoppers

No kidding.

And "Come to find out the kids are homeschooled"? Really? No one told your sister that she'd be homeschooling these children?

She's totally letting her sister in law stomp all over her, and she, your sister, is the only one who can do anything about it. She isn't a child; she's a grown woman and she needs to act as such or quit complaining. (Yes, that's harsh. But yes, I mean it. If she CHOOSES to let her SIL walk all over her, she needs to just accept it. Or she can renogotiate the terms, or she can quit.)