January 2005

To believe or not, I don't drive.
Everyone is always amazed by the fact.
They say I don't look like a person who sit in the front seat.
Is that true? Hm...OK. Maybe so.
I think I don't drive because it helps me maintain deterrence to
letting me have my own way.
I mean I can drive if I really want or should but I just don't.
This is something I feel out of my league.

I seemed to lose weight almost before I realized it.
Busyness may be the best way to slim down.
I use calories mostly to think or to use my brain.
I always have something in my mind, try something new
and gather information for my work.
Besides I keep house, raise my children and study interestedly.
I'm afraid I might see the end coming somewhere down the road.
You know...dieting could be dangerous.

Yet I'm not mentally prepared for this,
I find myself gathering speed
disregard of my wishes.
I should walk, I guess,
but I just can't stop running.
I get out of breath running up
this long gentle slope.
When I reach the top of this...
Do I get to see the panoramic view?
See something brighten the prospect?

I'm stuck in this small house.
as it's been raining outside for two days.
While I was doing my job in the living room,
my husband and children came down here and stayed for a while
from time to time one after another. I couldn't have much time for myself.
They look for something to eat or drink or watch TV.
But they don't seem to care for what I do for myself.
I cook lunch and dinner at the right time.
I do the laundry and the dishes in spare moments from my work.
They love me very much. I love them, too. That's for sure.
It's OK. You have to take it.
I just want to murmur sometimes.

I feel so good to somewhat stand on tiptoe.
You could feel breeze and
see your view elevated to upper world.
Say, you are on a roller coaster and
going upward very slowly clattering along
at the very beginning.
While you are going up, you would feel uneasy
for not going back but happy with a tingle of excitement.
I don't bite off more than I can chew.
I just like to stand on tiptoe a bit and
That makes me blossom out.