January 22, 2009

Lack of posting exquisitely clever vignettes from my life is due to technical changes and squirrely life stuff. The good thing is I’m getting my blog re-designed by someone who knows more about this stuff than I. Once that’s done, I’m moving to Wordpress.

On the negativity side, I’ve been pretty distracted by the issues that the Universe keeps throwing at me - damn that Stephen Hawking!My Mom is so diminished by Alzheimer’s, well, maybe I’m doing some sympathy neuron firing, cause I just can’t think straight! Ok, not that….maybe it’s my diminishing hormones…that have been known to whack a person out at a certain age. Not that I’m saying I’m a menopausal mess with a propensity to warm up my coffee in the dryer and tell the clerk at Target they are a douche nozzle! Yes. Soon I’ll be shuffling around in a bathrobe from Sears, have 8 cats and write letters to the local newspaper editor complaining about how the population sign outside of town is WRONG.

We weighed my Mom yesterday and she’s down to 75 pounds. This from a woman who was an incredible baker. If she knew what was going on, she’d be so pissed off. She was such a great baker. I can’t even touch her talent. Her lemon meringue pies were THE BEST EVER…period. Don’t even mess with that legend. I've tried to make it and well, let's just say there are certain things meringue can do that reminds me of pictures from "Travel and Tropical Medicine Manual".

Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease, and the Spousal Unit has standing orders to shoot me and drag me out to the coyote café, if this ever happens to me.

But some stuff continues to amuse me. A few thoughts….

1. That English judge from Top Chef is bad. If you try to do snark, at least be funny. He’s not. And he has a pinhead. BTW…Tom C. saved some woman’s life at an Inaugural dinner…he did the Heimlich on her! I tell ya…a guy with a bald head just has something special.

2. Leah is an idiot. Seriously, is she in junior high?? And she whacked that fish!!! What was that sauce??? Why do I watch this show? Well, besides watching Tom’s facial expressions when Carla said she’s sending “love” out of the kitchen! Seriously, Tom gives the best face!!!! Padma…not so much. She’s annoying.

3. I won a nice little contest for the California Almond Board…$500 at Cooking.com! Hormone booster! I don’t know yet what to buy…probably just random stuff that needs to be replaced, like the melted spatulas, bent cookie sheets, and burnt wooden spoons. And a cheese grater from l983. Any ideas??

4. I’m leaving a little tune here….so fun! Crank up the speakers and just leave the link open for a while…sitemeter is running!!

5. I'm going to be a grandma. Our daughter who got married in October, well, I guess she had sex with her husband. I can't believe it. Kids these days! Don't they know those things are loaded???

See you cute little bloggers very soon. Seriously, I’ll be back. I’ll be so sleek and sexy and all design-y and there will be truffles and caramelized pork belly, and pictures of Eric Ripert naked, if I can find them.

11 comments:

That's so sad about your mom. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I bet your Lemon Meringue Pie is a lot better than you're saying. I think you could use one.

Congrats on your win. I think it's almost as much fun perusing the website and THINKING about what to buy as the actual buying. And it sounds like you could use a little fun in your life. But I would splurge on something big, that you wouldn't ordinarily buy. You can always get spatulas and cookie sheets. A new mixer? Pasta machine?...which I would never use. Oh! An ice cream machine, do you have one? THAT would be great and you'd have plenty of money left over. Or you could just get some (more?) awesome pots that would last a lifetime.

Welcome back, I have missed your wacky sense of humor! Sorry to hear about your mom, but great news about being a grandmother. Can't wait to see the new and *improved* blog...as IF it needs any improvement! lol

Nothing better than starting the day reading one of your humorous posts -- just love it! So sorry about your mom, Alzheimer's is so wicked. I can attest to the grandmother thing - it is the best thing that will happen to you. How fun to have a shopping spree for kitchen things. I'm sure you will find just what you want. Take care and I look forward to the 'new do' on the blog.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your mom! And so happy about your pending grandparenthood! And so in agreement about Top Chef. And so with you on Wordpress! And recommending a good microplane zester. And I put a tune on my blog too!

We're like this (I'm doing that thing where I point my two fingers at my eyes and then back at you, back and forth to symbolize sympatico).

Sue, thanks for the kind words...it's a terrible disease. All great suggestions you have, but I'm kinda thinking I really do need some new basic stuff! Or, if a big thing, I'd like a counter top toaster/convection oven...never had one!

toontz...you are so sweet! Thanks! I'm wacky, that's for sure!

Mary, I know you are a Grandmother..so, any tips?? Besides spoiling them rotten and giving them drum sets?

Heather...you ARE the best! I am really ok...it's just hard to watch my vibrant Mom hit the rails...it's awful! But getting to be a Nana is pretty damn wonderful! Do you think I should get a countertop convection oven?

I can't believe I just skipped over the part about you becoming a grandmother!!! That is so exciting. Congrats. I've wanted to be grandmother since my kids were 12 years old...

Yeah, I know what you mean about replacing a bunch of old stuff. Maybe you don't need the countertop convection oven. Aren't you building a gorgeous new house that will undoubtedly have a convection setting on the new oven(s)?

Sorry about your mom. Mine was down to 59 lb. when she died. It's not fun watching them lose weight and feeling helpless. I think your blog looks good now; wish mine looked as good. BTW, would love to exchange links with you. I'll add you to my blogroll if you'll add me to yours. Let me know: judyskitchen.blogspot.com.