How Lilo lost weight: Adderall

Am sure you’ve seen them this week – photos of Lindsay Lohan in Hawaii all bones and skank and laced with cocaine. Shot after shot she’s in her bikini, soaking up the attention, eating up the attention, a substitute for food, knowing that she’s scraped up another reason for people to care about her.

Because it’s not like she has the work to show for it.

The new issue of Us Weekly however exposes Lindsay’s weight loss secret.

Adderall.

Apparently she pops Adderall like breath mints which is why she stays cranked for days and days at a time, is jittery and unable to concentrate, and gets “spastic” at the drop of a hat. She’ll eat one meal every two days and often subsists on soft drinks only. Lindsay reportedly loves being thin. She can’t stop looking at herself in the mirror, is happy when she can see her ribs, and is extra happy when people talk about seeing her ribs.

Being skinny gets her attention. The attention validates her existence. And it’s also supposedly a way for her to keep Samantha Ronson interested. She wants Sam to worry. Sam might be worried, but Dina Lohan’s not worried!

Nope.

Her daughter is f-cked. And still Dina hasn’t bothered. Never interrupt the cash flow, you know?

Speaking of cash, Lindsay’s been blowing hers over there in Hawaii. She walked around with a wad of 100s, and spent over $15K on luxury bags and shoes making sure the paps were able to get good shots of her purchases and her money.

My mother always says that the people who flaunt the money usually have the least amount of money. The Lohans are drying up.

By the way, that sister of hers Ali is in Hawaii too. What happened to school?