Things Women Can Do That Men Can't!

As its mothering Sunday we thought we would look at things women can do that men can't

Live a long time

Men can pee standing up. Women live an extra four years (on average). Most women wouldn't swap.

And some women will live wayyyy longer than their men - certainly long enough to nab another (richer, younger) husband. As of 2008, there were 8,360 women over 100, and just 1,280 men.

Get pregnant

There are downsides to being pregnant, of course, like getting to know how a beached whale feels for the final couple of months and all the hideousness that comes with squeezing the little figure-wrecker out at the end of it all.

But really, the upsides of creating and nurturing a new life make everything else pale into insignificance. For nine months women do something amazing, while men stand on the sidelines massaging feet and making cups of tea (if we know what's good for us).

Ask for things

Women don't have masculine pride stopping them from asking for help, which is why they tend to get to places quicker and do things better than men (most of the time).

Have one, then another, then another...

We're talking orgasms, rather than pints (we admit we're not so good at multiple pints). So while men are waiting to get their mojo back (sometimes till the next morning!), women can lie back and enjoy. For hours.

Fake it

Suppose it's not a good sex session. In fact, imagine it's a really bad sex session with someone who is both lovably well-meaning and frustratingly cack-handed. You don't want to hurt his feelings, and you don't want his horrible, clumsy pawing to go on any longer. Simple - you fake it. Women would love to see a man pull that one off (so to speak!).

Wear skirts, wear trousers, wear anything

Let's face it, anyone who's ventured up to the man bit of GAP knows the horrible truth of it. Most men's clothes are dull with a capital D.

The fact is, women can wear trousers, but men can't wear skirts. Women can wear shirts, but you won't catch many men in a nice maxi dress. Women can wear pretty much anything, and men are stuck with, well, men's clothes.

Multitask

If You're reading this while talking to your friend on the phone and doing a few warm up stretches before the gym then that’s probrably because you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be reading this and doing Nothing Else Whatsoever. Because the nearest men get to successful multitasking is lifting a beer to their lips with one hand while scratching their scrotums with the other.

Make it up

Had a bad night or feeling a bit under the weather? If you're a woman, you can just slap on the, er, slap and look (and feel) better in an instant. Cheeks rosy? Check. Dark circles gone? Check. Acne obscured? Check check check.

Boys may have a few cosmetic tricks of their own these days, but most of them don't dabble beyond moisturiser. That's why a hangover leaves women feeling bad but looking good, and leaves men feeling bad and looking homeless.

Become aroused...

...without anyone noticing.

So you're out with your girlfriend and you introduce her to your cousin, who just happens to be the hottest guy in the whole world ever. As you talk football, your girlfriend conjures up a delectable fantasy involving both of you, a waterbed and a barrel of baby oil. Then she walks to the bar and orders another round of drinks.

On the other hand, she introduces you to her hot new friend and you’d better keep your dirty little fantasies to yourself. Because when you get up to go to the bar...well, everyone is going to know.

Enjoy each other's company

And we mean, really enjoy it. You see, even straight women can dance together, hug, tell each other how beautiful they are, even kiss, and the only thought going through the minds of male onlookers is "phwoar".

And on the other side of the coin, let one straight bloke accidentally brush his arm against the thigh of another and the result is uproar and innuendo or, if they're good friends, a solemn undertaking never to mention the horrible, shameful incident again. And can you imagine the furore if a man told his mate that he "looks really hot tonight"!? World War Three may start this way.