Friday, May 31, 2013

Since I was a small child I've enjoyed a good Pop-Tart. I preferred the frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon or Strawberry Frosted. Sure I'd try all the other wacky flavors as they came along but these two were my favorite. But even as a wee tot, looking at the complete catalog of Pop-Tart flavors I would wonder..."Why isn't there a peanut butter Pop-Tart?" This is a question that has plagued many for years and years, since the dawning of the Pop-Tart age. Well...after what seems like a lifetime Kellogs has finally answered our prayers.

The boxes are glossy and embossed!

Instead of giving us just one option, they have given us two. Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter and what one might call the "healthier" option, just Peanut Butter. They come in a beautiful glossy box that jumps out from all the rest of the Pop-Tarts on the shelf. I felt like a golden beam from heaven was shining on the display in the store.

Golllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld!

As if that wasn't enough, they have even abandoned the classic silver foil that every other Pop-Tart comes wrapped in and they have given us this golden foil instead! When I cracked open the box it was like opening a treasure chest filled with pirate's gold. But it was better than gold, it was the answer to all of our dreams!

Someone got lazy...

First up is the Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter. You can see here that the actual cake part of it is a chocolate. Not quite as intense as the other chocolate pop tarts in color. Also the frosting...underwhelming. Looks like someone doing a half assed job of frosting spreading. Really not that impressive just looking at them.

But inside lies a creamy peanut butter filling. It has a very similar consistency to the filling in other non-fruit Pop-Tarts, but it's sweet and peanut buttery. When you get a bite that has frosting, peanut butter and cake, it's fantastic. Like a glimpse into peanut butter heaven. However, with the piss poor job they did frosting it, sometimes you just get a bite of the cake part and it's pretty bland. But overall I was pretty happy with these. They might not be what I had hoped for after wishing for twenty years, but I have to say, as a peanut butter lover, the only complaint here is the bad frosting job because the cake without any filling or frosting is just eating a spoonful of sawdust.

Notice the sugar crystals. These things aren't healthy after all!

Next up is the straight up Peanut Butter. No frosting here folks. Just Pop-Tart cake, peanut butter filling and a sprinklin' of sugar on top. Could these possibly live up to the frosted ones?

Sadly the answer is no. Not only are they not even close to as good, but they just taste...weird. I can't put my finger on it. The cake part is better than on the others but the filling is strange. It's quite different from the filling in the Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter version. I would go as far as to say it's barely even noticeable as peanut butter at all. I can honestly say I don't think I'll ever get these again.

+5 flavor XP for toasting.

As always with Pop-Tarts after toasting them, they are a bit better. The Chocolate PB version skyrockets to tremendous while the regular PB version goes from kinda gross to, "Eh, Okay these are alright I guess." However, I strongly caution you! These Pop-Tarts are somehow much more prone to burning than others. Toaster oven might also work better than the traditional toaster that I used.

In the end, I think I may have hyped these up too much in my brain over 20 years of imagining how incredible they would be. But the Frosted Chocolate Peanut Butter are pretty damn fantastic anyway, but you may want to steer clear of the regular Peanut Butter version.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Somehow, it's become a tradition for Rich and I to get together and eat frozen pizzas on Monday night while watching Monday Night RAW. We get to start the week out by eating what most people save for weekends, save money by getting frozen pizzas, and have quality time watching (while wondering weekly why we keep watching (say that 5 times fast)) grown men pretend to beat each other up while acting through odd story lines that somehow have anything to do with wrestling.

I've grown to look forward to this tradition. We have our standards- he gets a weird pineapple ham pizza and puts extra sauces on it, and I get my old stand-by, a $3.69 Tombstone pepperoni pizza. And then cover it in half a bag of cheese.

On my weekly oh-crap-I-need-a-pizza-for-tonight trip to Walmart, I suddenly saw something in the frozen pizza isle that caught my eye:

created with care!

I'm not a fan of the high end of frozen pizza- they always make the crust waaaay too big and I feel that the pizza suffers from trying to be something it isn't. A Tombstone, to me, is not something that's trying to fool its eater- it knows it's a frozen pizza, so it just tried to make a solid tasting crust while saving you money and not having some gimmicky rising crust that's never as good as you hope it'll be. This thing looked to have a pretty thin crust for a new fancy pizza, especially one from Digiorno, a company known for having 4 inch crusts.

It looked like a pretty standard frozen pizza, just covered in spices:

and fatguyfoodblog logos?

I added my standard 9 pounds of cheese on top (I prefer the cheddar and monterey jack mix), and actually cooked it a bit long. But it came out looking great and smelling fantastic.

I actually eat my FPs with a knife and fork- I feel like without the continuous oven affect of a pizza box, these get cold quickly. I have absolutely nothing to back this theory up, but I feel like cutting out piece by piece keeps the remaining pacman shape hotter for longer. It also forces me to eat a 12 inch pizza much slower than I normally eat pizza, therefore ensuring the pizza lasts me longer than the first 20 minutes of a 3 hour show.

It looked good.

And it was good. VERY good.

I've been a dedicated fan of Tombstone for several years. Since moving in with these guys and starting the RAW tradition, I've eaten a Tombstone pizza on Monday nights probably 45 weeks out of the year.

The week after I had this was the first time I got something other than Tombstone for 2 weeks in a row. I don't think I've ever done that. I'm sorry, Tombstone. I'm sure I'll revisit you from time to time when I miss your classic flavor. But for now, that pretty girl I've always had my eyes on who does things you don't and doesn't yell at me is suddenly showing interest in me, and we may just have to take a break.

What makes this frozen pizza so good is threefold:

1. The sauce is awesome. It's got a very tangy, sweet flavor that's sweet enough to work perfectly with the other flavors while being acidic and sharp-tangy enough to have a bit of a spice bite to it.

2. The seasoning they sprinkled so liberally all over the top (which I'm guessing is primarily oregano) actually does add to the flavor- it gives it a bit of bite while making it seem like more of a fancy, real pizza rather than a frozen meal that came in a cardboard box. The pepperoni was great too, and I will definitely be trying their other flavors.

3. Most importantly- the crust is phenomenal.

I'd describe it as being very similar to that of a Tombstone, but with just the right amount of risen crust and softness. It's perfectly crisp on the outside while also being almost buttery (you can see it in the picture above) and very soft inside. And it has that corny, pleasantly sweet taste that more pizza should aspire to have. Digiorno advertises it as being a preservative-free crust drizzled with olive oil. Sounds good to me!

currently modeling for Dirty Fingernails Illustrated

The short version: This is pretty much a perfect middle ground between a cheaper style, flat crust pizza like Tombstone or Red Baron and a real pizza, partially on the fancy side. For a frozen pizza that costs around $6 and not only is the best frozen pizza I've had (yep, I just said that), but also has a unique enough flavor that I'll specifically want it instead of real pizza every now and then? Put me down.

A+

This unique spin on a classic was just the stunner the frozen pizza world needed, and my Monday night tradition just kicked it up a notch.

WHAT?!

oh, also- if you try it and don't like it, Digiorno is offering a money back guarantee. How can you lose?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

It's not a secret that the Fatguyfoodblog crew loves Oreos. I mean, let's be honest, if you don't like at least some variant of the Oreo cookie, you are probably the devil. But we don't just love them because their cookies are delicious, we also love them for their willingness to take chances on new flavors. Well, those geniuses over at Oreo have done it again... ladies & gents I give you... THE STRAWBERRIES N' CREME OREO COOKIE!

Irwin thought they smelled delicious!

Let's start out by saying... THESE COOKIES ARE FANTASTIC. After freaking out at the store when I saw these and initially filling half my cart with them, I calmed down and talked myself into only buying one package just in case I didn't like them. I know, I know, that's flawed logic, how could they be bad? But hey, there's no need to go crazy with things, I still have unopened tubes of those White Chocolate Peppermint Pringles in the pantry. But anyway, I sped home with them, gathered the guys, explained to Irwin that he couldn't have one because they aren't for dogs, and cracked open the bag...

They sorta remind me of the Candy Cane Oreos!

The scent of strawberry filled the room, cookies were passed around, we all took a bite. Our brows furrowed for a few moments as we took it in, and then almost in unison, smiles spread across our faces and we all rejoiced! OREO HAS DONE IT AGAIN!

Art

The strawberry flavor is strong, but not too strong. It's smooth and goes perfectly with the Oreo chocolate cookie. As much as it pains me to say so, I think that if these were Double Stuf, the strawberry flavor might be too much, so I think they are perfect just how they are.

If I were you, I'd head to the store immediately because these are a Limited Edition flavor! You really, really don't want to miss out on these!

Shortly after trying these, a thought entered my brain. An idea hatched from the deepest, darkest recesses of my fat guy mind, and I felt like the Grinch when he hatches his plan to steal all of the Xmas stuff in Who-ville.

This is literally what I looked like.

The thought was this..."Man, I wish Oreo would make a version that had this creme AND peanut butter creme, like a PB & J! Well here at Fatguyfoodblog, we make dreams come true, so I present you with the PB&J Oreo!

Oh yes...

How was this Frankenstein-esque joining of flavors? It was...GLORIOUS.

STACK EM' UP HIGH!

At first when you bite in you think that the Strawberry is too strong, but then after a couple chews, the peanut butter mixes in nicely and combines into that familiar Peanut Butter & Jelly flavor.

But it's better, because it's between two chocolate cookies!

It's like it was meant to be...

Fatguyfoodblog readers, you should definitely try this. Post pictures on our facebook wall & we'll send a free FGFB logo shirt to the one who presents it best!

I give the Strawberries n' Creme Oreos an A!

I give the PB&J Oreo that I created an
A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!

Friday, May 10, 2013

As the CCO (Chief Chip Officer) of FGFB, my eyes are always on alert for new chips whilst I roam the grocery store aisles, battling the masses for the last bag of that new limited edition chip there never seem to be enough bags of. I was away from home base for a few weeks, and when I saw these, I took a picture of them without buying them- I'm not a big fan of garlic and thought these might suck for me, but would be wondrous to the other dudes who just so happen to worship garlic. I was gonna buy them a bag in case NH didn't get any, like any good snack buddy would do.

But Rich had already bought a bag, and upon tasting them, I might as well have just stolen the bag from him like I stole the review.

First off, I didn't realize how different roasted garlic tastes from regular garlic (or how disgusting it looks). I'm certain that even in my extremely limited foodview, I've had SOMETHING that features roasted garlic. And I'm assuming that I just didn't catch on that it's a completely different flavor. Or maybe Lay's broke their prettydamnsuccessfultrackrecord of making chips that taste like what they claim to. I don't really care. Because somehow, in the vastness of flavor country, these roasted garlic and sea salt chips remind me an awful lot of my second favorite discontinued chips ever: THE WORKS.

(1st being Wild n' Mild Ranch Fritos of course)

Somehow the flavor on these chips reminds me of the end-of-chip spice kick you get from The Works. Whether the combination of sour cream and chive from the chips really mimics roasted garlic or there was actually roasted garlic on The Works, I don't know, nor do I really care past briefly wondering it as I dump chips down my throat. All that matters is that it does have that taste. It's like that spicy kick mixed with a little bit of the vegetable sweetness you get from cooked red peppers, all somehow tied together with a mysterious creaminess that has no business existing in a chip that has no creamy ingredient.

These things are a mystery, but they're beautiful. Here's a pretty perfect chip:

My dumb brain clearly has trouble understanding these chips. But I don't understand the internet either and that's worked out pretty well for me, so I'm just gonna chalk it up to sweet baby Jesus' magical flavor powers and worship these chips like they deserve to be. If you can find them, absolutely get them, and prepare yourself for an incredibly interesting yet somehow oddly familiar flavor that will make you wonder "why hasn't this flavor existed on chips forever?"

Thursday, May 2, 2013

As a man of carriage, few things in this world makes one of us frothing at the mouth, sugar crazed, red blooded Americans more excited than a new Frappuccino from Seattle's own Starbucks. Rumor had been going around for a few weeks about the possibility of something new from the Lords of Caffeine, but was only proven true by a little inside knowledge a few days prior to its release. So yesterday, we drove the FGFB mobile as fast as we could to Starbucks, and went on a completely different wild ride altogether.

my ink stained hands holding what Bloomberg is surely to ban in NYC

Taking the first pull of this, what some would refer to as a drink, was like jamming an entire cakes worth of caramel and whip cream, concentrating it down to a liquid form, and filling your mouth with it. I was shocked how incredibly sweet it was. Obviously I'm not sure what I expected when I got one of these, maybe something a tad more tame, something not so wild, something not so Arkham Asylum insane. I liken the flavor of this drink, which I'm not even sure why there's any coffee in it at all, to basically swigging down melted caramel marshmallows, and then ending each pull with caramel sugar explosions in your mouth. I was informed by the barista that they've heard that it becomes easier to take down as you make your way to the bottom of the drink. I find that barrista's the world 'round should be revered for their infinite wisdom, because that's exactly what happened. May I present to you, The Four Levels of Ribbon Caramel Crunch:

-surprise
-disgust
-acceptance

-love

I was so blown away at this latest Frappuccino by the end, that I'm having a hard time really remembering the first three stages, but all that really matters,