“The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.”

Where in your life do you feel powerful? Why?

This question was hard for me to answer directly. I had to look at it from the corner of my eye, like a faint star.

First, how do we define power? When I feel powerful, am I truly? Or is it only my perception? You may view me in the moment as controlling or manipulative while I see myself as doing an excellent job. How do we know? It seems to depend on several factors.

Someone like (sorry to use his name) Trump, is powerful. We may not like to admit that, but he can ruin lives with his words. That power seems to me to be gained through manipulation. Smoke and mirrors. But, as long as everyone continues to tell him he’s wearing clothes, it becomes more than illusion. Whereas, if everyone refused to give him that power, he’d lose it because it’s not really there at all.

Real power, the kind that feeds and sustains over time rather than destroying, seems to me to require competence and confidence.

I’m also not sure you can have power (not based on manipulation) unless there is trust. I think someone has to give you the power. If you take the power, it’s not ever truly yours, and maybe that’s what makes people like that so angry and fearful.

“The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.” I always loved that line.

I think people who take power have to create adversaries. Their form of power requires it. Are you passively taking this role somewhere in your life?

I don’t have answers. I just found this question to be one that I’d never truly looked at deeply, and I feel kind of old to only be addressing now. I think I would have done a few things differently in relationships and at work if I’d examined this earlier. I guess we’re always learning & growing. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share in the comments or link your blog.

This also made me think of people not taking the power. I may avoid something (may, ha) or allow someone else to make choices for me. I may see a choice as unnecessary but others might see that as abdicating power. Part of power may be acknowledging what is yours and using it. But, then again, if someone else defines your power is it yours? Is their definition valid?
Is it power if it sits as potential energy versus kinetic? If you are confident and competent, then do you need to use power actively?

Made me think of Conan the Barbarian (1982) and “The Riddle of Steel”. “What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?”

Is there power in abdicating and passively having someone else take up that role?
In an energy way, I think power can be used to change your own attitude or outlook. Not sure if I can explain what I mean well, but I’ll try. If I am feeling confident & competent, but I don’t teach with it or use it to create or to direct in some way, does it build up? Or does it plateau? Does that kind of energy need to manifest to hold its effectiveness? Can you think of people who are powerful, but rarely use it? They just exude it?
I love that Conan quote!