Posted tagged ‘DeMint jokes’

Uh, really? This from “One Million Moms,” about the latest J C Penney cute holiday commercial: “A new JCP ad features Ellen (Degeneres) and three elves. JCP has made their choice to offend a huge majority of their customers again. Christians must now vote with their wallets.” And somewhere Jesus is probably thinking “Don’t lay this on me, morons, I love Ellen.”

(and actually, “One Million Moms” is reputedly an organization of about 40,000.)

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Jim DeMint is resigning his South Carolina Senate seat to take over as president of the Heritage Foundation. According to Charitywatch.org, the salary for the position is currently $1,172,321. No wonder DeMint didn’t want to raise taxes on the super rich. He’s about to become super rich.

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Rumors that some are trying to draft Stephen Colbert to run for senate in Jim DeMints’ place. Well, it sure would increase ratings for C-Span.

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The Yankees have apparently offered Kevin Youkilis a 1-year, $12 million deal. If he signs, expect an economic stimulus in Boston, as t-shirt vendors dig up those old traitor-Judas patterns they used for Damon.

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A Florida man was arrested after he told police he left a pit bull to watch a 10 month old baby while he went to a bar to drink beer. Scary thing, the dog was probably more responsible than the man.

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Some Americans who don’t like reading about the British Royal family don’t like the idea of people being important just because of an accident of birth. But hey, how’s that George W. Bush library going?

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Gay marriage and marijuana smoking are now legal in Washington. So get ready for some fabulous high times!

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Esquire Magazine has come out with a list of “Gifts under $25 that don’t suck.” Of course, if you choose any of them from the list, your recipients may now know you’re both unimaginative and cheap.

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Can’t understand how football players get the reputation for being neanderthals: Vikings LB Chad Greenway told a local paper that fans should get “super-duper drunk” Sunday to help Minnesota’s home-field advantage against the Bears- “Yeah I would say morning drinking. Why not? You could pull an all-nighter. Then you’d have the drunk, tired guys who will really be obnoxious.”

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Anna Gristina, known as New York’s “Hockey Mom Madam” says she is going to start naming client names, including some from the NFL. Well, not sure how their wives might feel, but on some level the idea that NFL players actually pay for consensual sex is better than many alternatives…

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NBA Commisioner David Stern defends his $250,000 fine of the Spurs for sending 3 stars home because the “club went beyond what owners agreed was a reasonable approach to resting healthy players”. Uh, one, does anyone think if San Antonio wasn’t playing Miami on TV that Stern would have noticed. And two, the Spurs still almost beat the Heat.