Updates from Frederick Smith, former Detroiter living in Los Angeles, and author of Play It Forward (January 2015), Right Side of the Wrong Bed (December 2007), and Down For Whatever (July 2005).
www.FrederickLSmith.com

Friday, April 18, 2008

Does It Make Me A Puma?

Got me playing Mary J. Blige (#6 on Growing Pains, Hurt Again) everytime I think of him. That line about trying to act like he doesn't phase me is SOOOOO true. Now I get what everyone says about Mary's lyrics and how she speaks to the heart and experiences of so many people.

Um, so does crushing on a 21/22 year old make me a Puma? The equivalent of the Cougar that everyone is talking about in the media...

One of my friends, who's in his late 30s (maybe early 40s, it's L.A.), always jokes, "Ain't nothing a 40-year-old can do for me..."

Is that us perpetuating ageism in the LGBT community? Are all the guys in their 30s and 40s off the market, settled down, jaded, no longer interested in fun and living? Or are "Pumas" and "Cougars" going through something similar to a mid-life crisis, trying to re-live the 20s, be who they/we weren't in our 20s? Is it worth critiquing or noting that the only guys stepping to me and my circle of friends are in their early-to-mid 20s? Still the same game, but with a 2008 twist on the lines. Or are we just dirty, flirty 30s men?

Hmmm. Deep thoughts. And it's Friday... and I'll probably run into my lad at some point this weekend while me and my friends are out on the town.

I'll probably foot the drink tab, lol. Isn't that rule number one in the Puma Handbook? ;-)fs

let me first say that your book is outstanding and i'm looking forward to part II (hint, hint). you got me here because i'm dealing with the same thing. don't consider myself a puma though. dudes beyond 2 to 3 years my senior don't do it for me. many of them are bitter and jaded. i'm talking to a young guy now and i love it.