R. Kelly – Inspired! Rihanna – Annoyed! Jessica Biel – Engaged?

It is a fact well-documented that I think R. Kelly is the best. He has recently announced that he has written 32 more chapters of his epic “Trapped In The Closet”, which is unsurprising given that he claims aliens are dictating the story to him. Once I tried to make my mom watch TITC which was a terrible, terrible idea. [TMZ]

This is gross, but some Dutch magazine used the n-word about Rihanna which – why? WHY, THE DUTCH? WHY DID YOU DO THAT? The editor has since resigned – as well that editor should. Gross. Tulips. Prostitution. Wooden shoes? [ABC]

Proving that ultimatums really are a girl’s best friend, Jessica Biel is allegedly now engaged to Justin Bieber. Ha ha ha. I meant Timberlake, but my fingers wanted to type Bieber. That is hilarious. I’m keeping it. Anyway it was mean of me to snark on Jessica Biel. She has a tough time, as she frequently lets you know in most of her interviews. Ha ha ha. BA-ZINGA! [Jezebel]

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