Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Suppertime Shenanigans

I bought
some salmon steaks at the grocery store last week. I like salmon a lot but
rarely buy it because it’s expensive and I’m cheap; a combination that’s like
matter and anti-matter or David Hasselhoff and music.

While
at work yesterday I decided to make one of the filets for supper so I got on my
ipad and searched for a recipe. I found one that sounded good and was simple,
saved the page and went back to work.

When
I got home before I could make supper I had to do dishes. They were everywhere;
in the sink, on the stove, on the counter. It looked like one of my weekly
recreations of Mel’s Diner from the old TV show Alice where I dress the cat up like Flo and try to get her to meow
so it sounds like “Kiss my grits”. The scratches on my face and neck indicate
she doesn’t enjoy this diversion as much as I do.

With
a clean kitchen I thawed out one of my salmon filets and then pulled up the web
page with the recipe on. I received this message:

Woops! This page is down for maintenance

What?
The one recipe I chose out of dozens, just a few hours ago, and now I can’t get
to the page?

The
cat laughed at me. The salmon steak chuckled. David Hasselhoff guffawed from
his throne made of money in his mansion made of German gold records.

So
I had to search for another recipe. The first one required me to wrestle my
fresh salmon from the claws of a bear . . . so . . . let’s skip that one. Hmm,
this one asks for 33 different spices including oil of sausage casings and
shavings from a roasted persimmon. Nah. Oh, here’s a good one. Wait, step 3 is
a sacrifice to Molech.

I
gave up and dug out some recipes I keep in a folder on a bookshelf. There I
found a quick, easy marinade. I mixed it up, marinated the salmon and then grilled
it. Delicious. David Hasselhoff called to ask for a bite.

Of
course, now my sink has dishes in it again. Time for another re-enactment. Here
kitty, kitty.