Heh, okay, so last night I had this dream that was a bit distressing at the time, but somewhat comical when I think about it now. It started out with me watching the goings-on in a love triangle. A guy was running around on his sweetie, and the girl he was running around with was psychotic. When he tried to break up with her, she flipped and starting stalking him and his girlfriend. Very soon she set out with the intention to kill either him or the girlfriend.I didn't get to see how it all ended, because suddenly I was Julia Roberts and I was being stalked by Seth Green. At one point I was sauntering around this little accessories shop with a couple of friends, and he came in with a gun and asked in a very personable tone if anyone had seen me. I was ducking behind aisles trying to avoid being spotted, to no avail.I don't get that. I really don't think much at all of either actor.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

I know right? Maybe one day when I'm rich I'll construct a room like that.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

I had a pretty violent dream last night. For whatever reason, I was riding around on a hoverround through dark streets (it was night). I can't imagine why I would've been on a hoverround, I was fully capable of walking.But anyway, I had turned to go back home, and all these men started calling out to me, menacingly. My dumb little hoverround gave out right as the calls started, so I stood up and starting walking (carrying the hoverround, which was pretty light). One man caught up with me. He was brandishing a stick at me, saying something, but I can't remember what. I snatched the stick from him, and told him to back off. He would lunge at me, back off, lunge at me again, and back off. This kept going for a few minutes, until I very quickly reached around and stabbed him in the back with the stick. One of his buddies came running up and looked at me accusingly, as if I had killed someone who was just SO innocent. The guy I stabbed started staggering and slurring his words, so I figured he was dying. I didn't care, the jackass was trying to intimidate me, and he got what was coming. A portal appeared, I walked through it and was back in my own neighborhood.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

I had an awesome dream last night. My family and I had moved to a different house, and I was the first to choose which bedroom I wanted. Naturally, I picked the best one. It was HUGE, it had vending machines in it. Not crappy ones like what you see at university, these had back-lighting, tons of selections, and funk/disco/boogie music would play when I got something out of one.The closet was massive, and was full of cute-as-hell clothes. There was a bathroom, admittedly VERY small, but as soon as I would walk in, the light would come on and the bathtub would fill up with water.I was disappointed when I woke up.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

Okay, so I didn't dream about him naked but today I had a dream that Don Draper was totally interested in me. There was some kind of advertising or marketing event going on and I was working with his company and we had to work together. Also it wasn't me, but a 1960s version of me. Anyway, in the dream he wasn't married and we were getting really close. But then there was also some kind of tragedy, like, Roger Sterling died or something. Either way, it was still an interesting dream.

Last night I had 3 very vivid dreams. 2 of them were rather convoluted, and I lost a couple of crucial details about the 3rd. But it seems that I didn't have nearly as many vivid dreams while I was on Loestrin, and now that I've gone back to microgestin, they're coming back. Weird.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

I have to put this one down, it was too funny.I was standing in the driveway. My cat, Patches, ran by me, to a house a couple of doors down. A moment later, I see her speeding off in a little car with one of her cat-friends. I think to myself "Even my kitty is having more fun than I am."A moment later, another car goes by. This one has two gazelle-like animals in it. A moment after that, a Hummer goes by with two small elephants crammed in the front seats. All these animals look like they're having the time of their lives. It only struck me as a little bit strange to be seeing animals driving motor vehicles.I go back inside, and my grandmother asks me to go to some store to pick something up. I say "I don't know, there are an awful lot of exotic animals on the loose. Wouldn't want one of them to try to jack my keys and take off in my car. And I think I saw some monkeys outside." Sure enough, I look out the back door and there are these two monkeys gallivanting around the backyard.One of the monkeys tried to come into the house, but I hit it with a pole and knocked it out. Turns out this wasn't even a monkey, it was a guy in a costume. When he came to, he said "Well, I'll bet your grandma hides her stuff better than you do!" I said something like "Yeah, I really care about the opinion of a guy in a GD monkey costume."

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

The stresses of the holidays are weighing on me. I keep dreaming about my parents. But the dreams always involve vicious screaming matches. Like, *vicious*. My parents show up out of nowhere & boy are they pissed. I fight with each of them & then I wake up. It takes me a while to shake them off & I'm always convinced that my mom is gonna turn up to fight for real until I remember that she'd in a psychedelic jar on an end table right next to my dad. I don't have these dreams very often, but when I do I wake up in such a mood I can't get back to sleep. Like right now.

Oh well. At least this time she wasn't trying to smother me & I didn't nearly beat her to death with a hockey stick.

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"You're cute, like a velvet glove cast in iron. And like a gas chamber, a real fun gal."

You'd think I was a drug user, with some of these bizarre images I come up with. Last night I dreamt that I was with this group of people. We started out in a theatre dressing room. Someone found this passage, a lot like one you would find in a fun house. The passage led outside to a long path. At the end of the path was a lake. Out of nowhere this pig appeared: it was sort of cartoon-like, but still realistic, if that makes any sense. It could talk, it's voice sounded just like that Spongebob Squarepants character, and had the same crazy laugh. So everyone and the Spongebob pig jumped into the lake. I stayed on land. I watched them as they played around in the water. After a moment I noticed that the water looked much more viscous than it should have. I looked beyond the lake and saw some kind of chemical or nuclear power plant. I looked back at the lake and realized that there were radioactive substances in the water.Then it cuts to where everyone was out of the lake. They were all laying on the ground, and all were horribly mutated (I know the manifestations of genetic mutations don't occur in the first individual, they happen in the individual's offspring. But hey, this was a dream, and logic doesn't always apply). I focused on the Spongebob pig. It was lying on the ground, like everyone else, and surrounding it were all of these clones of itself, each with mutations of varying severity. The worst one was only a head and a spine, covered with thick skin. All of them were laughing that weird laugh. The original wasn't severely mutated, so he got up and ran up the path.This other massive hog appeared out nowhere and ran after it.I looked back at everyone else lying on the ground, and decided that I should go back and block the path so they couldn't get back to mainstream society. I was afraid that they were radioactive themselves, and would affect anyone they came in contact with. I sprinted up the path, hoping to catch up with the pig and the huge hog before they could get to the bridge we had passed over before. I intended to close it off or destroy it in order to keep the mutated people away. I caught up with the pig, who somehow knew what I was planning to do, and it ran faster. The massive hog, it turns out, was violent and ill-tempered. It charged at me, so I pulled out a gun and shot it in the head. It took several bullets to take it down. Then I ran after the pig. The path was much longer than I remembered, and as I got to the end of it I caught up with the pig, then woke up.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

So last night I had a really loooong dream, but I can only remember the very end of it (the first part had some stuff reminiscent of "Twilight").I was in Philadelphia (though I've never been there IRL), and it was nighttime. There were these people: they weren't human, they were freakishly strong, and violent, and were ugly as all get out. My perspective was with them, and they were going around knocking houses down. It only took one blow to level a house.So morning comes, and entire residential areas are in ruin. On top of that, everyone had turned into something. I don't know what they were, just that they weren't human anymore. Like the people who had leveled the houses, they were freakishly strong, many were violent, some were very amorous and hedonistic, and some were dog ugly. I was with a group of people, and none of us were human, but we still acted like ourselves. We were walking around, but we were very wary of the people around us. I was careful not to talk to the ugly/violent looking folks. I commented "Have you noticed how some of these people are walking funny?" and someone said "Well, you know you're in Philadelphia..." I was able to identify a few people (mainly children) as vampires. I had the impression that I was a vampire, but couldn't be too sure.We walked into a high school gym, where some amorous hedonists and some ugly violent people had gathered for a dance (can you imagine). I looked around and saw one girl who was still human. Everyone that was in the gym bore down on her, crushed her, and killed her.I kept my distance from the scene, and a cop soon showed up (another human) He came directly to my little group, even though we were (and actually looked) harmless. He acted as if we had been responsible for the girl's death. I wasn't in the mood to be questioned, so I suggested to my group that we should just kill the guy.The part where the girl got crushed stands out to me now, since I read about that poor guy in NY that got trampled at Walmart by a crowd of rabid bargain hunters.

kittenb, that's a weird dream!

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

jsmith, your dream sounds a lot like the "Y" comic series that my boyfriend has me reading.

I started reading Wally Lamb's new book The Hour I First Believed. It is messing with my head and I have had two dreams about the Columbine shootings. And with last night's dream came this enourmous black spider. It dropped out of a tree and attacked this equally big crab that had also dropped out of a tree. I ran away screaming (the thing was so scary I am flinching as I write this. And its legs made clicking sounds as it walked.) My boyfriend jumped on the spider with a butcher knife but somehow managed to flip the damn thing at me where I had fallen on the street.

If anybody can generate a meaning from this one, I'd love to hear from you.I was sitting watching TV. A preview for a movie came on. The plot was this: There was a pandemic. Men could not withstand the disease, and they all died at once, save for a few (and I do mean a few, they could be counted on one hand). They didn't die in the normal way: instead of leaving a body behind to bury, they simply vanished. You know, like Yoda did in Star Wars when he died.The economy goes under quickly after. And that's to be expected, of course, if half of the world's human population are to be wiped out at once, there are going to be a lot of things that won't get done. From this point, the women had to let the economy collapse (there simply wouldn't be enough people to hold it up as is), then restructure it. Besides that, there was slack in other areas that they had to pick up. Basically, the world had to be rebuilt (figuratively speaking; all the physical structures were still there).It's funny that I should have this dream now, when our economy is taking a nosedive.

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Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

i had a dream last night that my daughter had to get to a dentist appointment, which was quite far away for some reason. i took her there, and it was quite near my grandparents house (a good couple hours drive) so went there with my mum for tea. i then realized that i had a new job i had totally forgotten about, and now i was very late. i couldn't call them for some reason, but i had to get there. i hopped on this motorized bicycle thing and started pedalling madly. the rest of the dream was just trying and trying to get there, and feeling guilty that i was late. this is a recurring thing in my dreams, feeling like i can't get where i'm going.

also, i had a little dream that Don Draper had a blackberry, and didn't know how to use it. his daughter threw it in the garbage and he fished it out. pretty random.

Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are serviley crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blind faith. — Thomas Jefferson

last night the mr had a dream that i had a baby with someone else. he woke up really upset and had to snuggle himself better. worked out for me!i only ever have bad/frightening/disturbing dreams. i could not tell you if i have ever had one that was plesant. i wonder why that is?

Thank jesus christ o'yahoo that we are once again connected to the mighty World Wide Web.

I'm not in a terrific mood because I've had ridiculously hideous allergies all day, from the minute I woke up to now, and it's been a real pain in the nose/ass. Things started out grandly on the drive to Santa Barbara, when my nose starting leaking snot and I was doing 80 mph trying not to be late and fishing around with one hand for a shred of kleenex, but having actually cleaned the car the night before in a mood of freakish Protestantism, there was of course nothing to use but the nice green scarf around my neck, which sucked because it matched my shirt and eyeliner wonderfully and frankly was too silky to be truly absorbent in the way my nose demanded.

Yuck. Still completely allergic. And rather pissed at Johnny for coming home at 9:20 instead of 7 like he said he would and for not having called home at all during that time. Of course he's a little tipsy and I have a hard time dealing with him when he's like that, mainly because he looks and acts foolish, but I'm trying really hard not to get angry at him for drinking nowadays, since Leanne stressed the importance of my not trying to change him/fix his problem for him. It makes sense--I mean, he'll never really deal with it if someone else is doing it for him, so I'm trying to step back and not judge him, not think negatively about his drinking per se, although I do allow myself, and think it's normal, to get angry if he does things while drinking that are stupid and lame, like the episode I talked about in the last post and which I don't need to rehash here.

I do want to talk about something else, something I've mentioned briefly in one of my posts, I think, but haven't talked about since. It has to do with a person I knew when I was growing up, a guy I haven't seen since I was 22--since 12 years ago. His name is Seamus McGrave, and he is important to me for some reason that I don't really understand. Over the past years, pretty much for the past decade, he has been a recurrent character in my dreams. Every now and then I'll dream about him, and it's always pretty much the same premise: I'm in Rhode Island, in Wakefield, the small town where I grew up, and I'm desperately trying to find him. When I say desperately I don't mean it lightly--my feeling in the dream is of a deep need, a desperate, begging, sad, searching need, and I wake up with this feeling and it comes back to me all day.

I had one of the dreams last night. I was near our old house, and I was walking down Kenyon Ave., our old street, towards downtown with a friend. When we passed Silver Lake Ave. my friend and I noticed some guys skateboarding a little ways away, and I knew one of them was Seamus (he really did use to skate on that street with his friends). I wanted to go to him so badly, to be with him, but for some reason I couldn't--he had left, or he hadn't really been there in the first place. Then I was trying to get my friend to go downtown with me, to a bar where I thought Seamus might be, but it was dead when we got there and the clothes I had put on to look nice for him didn't matter anymore and, as usual, I was left with that intense feeling of sadness and regret and desperation and love, deep deep devoted love for this guy I don't know and never really knew.

When I say I was left with this feeling of love, I don't mean just in the dream. Like I said, the feeling is so strong that after I wake up it stays with me for a day, or a couple days, and it's happened so many times now that Seamus has almost been like a continuous presence in my life, albeit a presence that only exists in my dreams.

I talked about this dream to a therapist I had, a few years ago, and I thought I had it figured out: I thought Seamus represented a part of me that I can never really get in touch with--maybe a side of me that has to do with my childhood, since the dreams always take place near or in my childhood home--but that I want desperately to know and be with. I still think this is the most logical answer. I've thought about what Seamus represents to me, since my mind picked him to project this "other me" on, and I guess it makes some sense: Seamus was probably the most anti-conformist guy I knew in high school, extremely smart and talented and rebellious in a non-attention-seeking way. He had black hair and green eyes and he was cute, but not the type of guy all the girls had a crush on, he was too much of a loner, or something, I don't know. He had lots of friends, but he was definitely considered different by the popular/"normal" crowd.

I had a huge crush on Seamus in the 7th grade, which faded and reignited throughout high school, during which we were sort of friends but not the kind who'd call one another. Although we flirted brazenly in Biology class, flicking spitballs at each other in a way that now I think was kind of outrageous but which, looking back, was so fun--so purely, wonderfully fun--we never got together, which I'm frankly glad about, because it probably would have ruined this memory of him or just made him someone different in my mind.

When I was 22 I went back home over Christmas break and somehow got in touch with Seamus and his friends. I ended up spending a couple nights at Seamus's house with all those guys, sitting in the living room drinking beer and snorting Ritalin. One day, I spent some time alone with Seamus, and we went to his house and were in his room, but for some reason (this was unusual for me) we didn't hook up. He gave me a book, Notes from Underground by Dostoevsky, and when he dropped me off at my house I think we might have hugged, and I might have given him a kiss on the cheek, but that was it, and I haven't seen him since.

I know he probably figures so much in my dreams because he represents some kind of untainted, beautiful, youthful part of me. Although I rationally know that--I know the dreams aren't really about him--I can't help thinking about him with a feeling of tenderness, and when I'm really infected, post-dream, with the remnants of that desperate desire to see him, to be with him, I feel a little crazy and I can't help wondering if something more is going on.

When Johnny and I aren't doing well, when he leaves me alone and angry and sad because he's drinking, I think about Seamus and it makes me feel better. I imagine us together, and my bitterness and loneliness fades. I keep Seamus in my head to return to when I need him, and I think perhaps this is the way I'll know him for the rest of my life.