I was thinking about what I’d like to share with my kids about waiting for that utter commitment before they share their bodies with another human being. Then I remembered how a friend of mine had put it years ago, in the days when we were still young 🙂 She said for her ‘waiting’ was worship to her God.

This morning I pondered on that word: ‘Worship’.

Methinks that maybe, just maybe, we’ve been led to believe some things about it that might not be entirely encompassing of how Packed that one word is?

The way the band ‘Jesus Culture’ puts it is like this:

“Jesus only did what He saw You do, He would only say what He heard you speak, He would only move when He felt You lead, following Your Heart, following Your Spirit… How can I expect to walk without You? When every move that Jesus made was in surrender…”

That to me is perhaps the closest to a “full” explanation of what ‘worship’ is.

There’s no such thing as, “OK, let’s worship now…” What about later? What do we do between “worship” sessions?

Worship is not a song. It’s not just praying. It’s not a segment of our time that we “dedicate” to God for a few minutes- worship is ‘everything’ we do.

It’s complete surrender to Daddy.

It’s how we are on our job- how we conduct ourselves in business- how we drive- how we speak to our children and other people- where we go- how we go- what we pray…

Worship isn’t a ‘thing’ we take out every now then like a music box- open it up- hear the song for a while- shut the box and go on with the rest of our lives. No, worship is the Space in which we’re meant to live in constantly.

And it’s DEFINITELY not about ‘proving’ to others “whose we are”- in fact true worship is one of those things we may sometimes want to do behind closed doors because it can be a very uncomfortable place to be- and very often attracts vicious criticism and ridicule.

Jesus didn’t do the insanely incredible things He did just as the Son of God- He did them ‘in’ utter surrender to His God.

We can do amazing things, truly globe-shaking, Nobel winning amazing- but if it’s not in surrender to Daddy it will not have the lasting impact the way Jesus’ life did.

So back to my babies… I could “teach” them about self-worth, waiting for the ‘right’ person’, getting married first etc etc and even more etc… But those lectures don’t always last- for some yes- but not for all.

I believe that my biggest call as their Mommy is to share with them this awesome Daddy they have. To impart to them (with MUCH help from the Holy Spirit) who this Jesus is- ‘how’ He is and how they can take every cue in their lives from Him.

Because there’s something utterly magical about having Him- all of Him.

He frees us, from boxing the splendour He has for us in tiny boxes, to fully dwelling in the abundant spaces of His blessings and fullness.

If I can share with my babies what true worship is- I believe with all my heart that it won’t be preaching they hear on ‘purity’ that will urge them to make the right decisions on this- what will compel them is the utter conviction of the ‘amazing’ their Daddy God designed for them to enjoy- not only for when they get married, but for lasting impact that’ll bless their generations to come.

Worship is Complete surrender. It’s a way of life I’m, truthfully, still afraid to submit to completely. But one I’m learning is utterly worth pursuing.

There’s a really hard lesson I’m learning during this season of my existence- what matters to you might not matter as much to others. That doesn’t mean that what you care about isn’t worth it- we cannot go through life measuring our own worth or the worth of what we care about by how others respond… or don’t respond.

My friend Mercy once said to me, “Hannah, no one will ever give you the kind of attention and investment you can give yourself- because no one is as invested in you as you are- and no one is with you as much as you are with yourself.”
It’s been almost ten years since she gave me that advice and it’s never been truer to me than it is now.
Your priorities are not necessarily on someone else’s list- to take offence- to hurt over it- to ask, “But how come no one else seems to care as much as I do…” that drains you of the energy you could be using investing in what you care about.

Sometimes you’ve gotta wave your own flag. Back yourself. Blow your own trumpet. Open the Scriptures and preach to yourself. You gotta pick yourself up- dust your own self off and keep going.
Because there will be times when you walk alone- there will be times when you fight alone- there will be times when you cry all by yourself- and you know what? That’s not a bad thing- because it gives you the courage to go places you’d always depended on other people to get to.
You’re far stronger than you think.
Give yourself a BIG HUG!

So the other day I’m just soaking in Daddy’s adoration of me. And I get these two words: “Messy Love”. I LOVE them!!!

I think of Daddy God and I realise how wrong that picture I’d had of Him all this time was- You know the one where He’s “seated on the Throne” dressed in all white- everything around Him is white- the temperature around Him is a cool breeze and there’s a breath of angel choirs humming in the background- and He’s distant- very distant.

Every now and then He peaks over at You- mostly judgingly- usually with a checklist in hand of stuff you’ve done, are doing or are even thinking of doing. And He’s NOT impressed!

It doesn’t take much to make Him mad- and He’s quick with a bolt of lightening to zap you when you get out of line- because He is STRICT and DOES NOT tolerate silliness!!!!!!

He doesn’t smile- or laugh- because running the world and a bunch of wild sinners is SERIOUS business! No time for jokes!

That’s the image I’d had of Him for way too long-Then I begin to discover- and soak- and wake up to who He really is. And He begins to declare things in my heart like: “Messy Love”. And I get it instantly! Because we’re on this journey Me and Him and He wants me to know that His Love is not clinical like I’ve pictured it- it’s Messy- SO messy! Like my son’s yucky mouth when he gorges on mulberries- like my daughter’s muddy face when I’ve let her outside too long-

Daddy’s walls aren’t clean and pristine- they have muddy fingers all over them- He is COVERED in crumbs and goo from His kids clambering all over Him- most of them dirty dirty dirty at any given time and He runs to them and HUGS and gives wet sloppy kisses- and ruffles hair and blows over bruises and open wounds…

He laughs. A lot!

His hands are guey from glue of His kids’ sticky messes, and snot and big fat tears- and He doesn’t yell to the angels for wet wipes to clean them- No, He wipes our faces with His BIG beautiful hands Himself- and He sings to us and hushes us to sleep, saying over and over, “It’s OK baby, this too shall pass.”

He has bruises on His arms and hands from His babies grasping at Him too hard- tugging at Him- clambering, holding too tight when they realise they have no one else but Him- it’s not always pretty but He grabs them back just as hard because there’s healing in His embrace- and He pours it out- without reserve- holding NOTHING back-

Daddy’s Love is messy- ground dirty- grave dirty- tombstone eery- the kind that isn’t phased by the terror of Hell and willingly went there- because His Love is not clinical it’s utterly, absolutely, messy.

Messy Love.

Oh how I love that He loves me with this kind of Love. It’s soft and it’s mushy, yet ferocious, fierce and anything BUT timid!

It will fight for me no matter what because it doesn’t mind getting LOW down and DIRTY!