There are only three weeks left until Christmas. For all we know, Rob Ford‘s mayoralty could collapse even sooner than that, perhaps under the weight of new outrageous allegations. That’s why it’s imperative to stock up on Ford-related gifts before either the mayor or the holiday season is utterly finished. Here, our guide to all the best Rob Ford merchandise available this December, whether you have $7 to spend or $700,000.

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<strong>A Rob Ford Christmas sweater, $71.04</strong><br /><br /><br />
Is $70 too much to pay for a Hanes sweater featuring an iron-on transfer of Rob Ford's face? What if we threw in some tinsel and Christmas lights? (Naturally, this product is <a href="http://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/169957059/rob-ford-ugly-christmas-sweater-light-up?ref=sr_gallery_17&ga_search_query=rob+ford&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=CA&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=rob+ford">an Etsy exclusive</a>.)

<strong>Your own Rob Ford domain name, $2000</strong><br /><br /><br />
God knows what anyone would do with "Robfords.com" (turn it into an online support group for people named Rob Ford who <a href="http://www.torontosun.com/2013/11/04/rob-fords-british-namesake-tired-of-twitter-hate">accidentally absorb Twitter invective</a> on the mayor's behalf?), but it's <a href="http://toronto.kijiji.ca/c-buy-and-sell-business-industrial-Rob-Fords-domain-name-for-sale-W0QQAdIdZ547082323">for sale on Kijiji</a>.

<strong>A Rob Ford bobblehead, price negotiable</strong><br /><br /><br />
Less than two weeks after admitting that he'd smoked crack, Rob Ford decided to spend a day selling bobbleheads in his likeness, for $20 a piece. Within minutes, the limited-edition figurines were for sale on eBay and Kijiji, where a scandal-fuelled collector's market quickly inflated their prices beyond reason. Now, if you want a Rob Ford bobblehead for Christmas, you may have to negotiate <a href="http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.Xrob+ford+bobblehea&_nkw=rob+ford+bobblehead&_sacat=0&_from=R40">an eBay profiteer</a> down from more than $900. (<a href="http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_sacat=0&_from=R40&_nkw=rob+ford+bobblehead&LH_Complete=1&rt=nc">Typical sale prices</a> have been closer to $300.)

<strong>A Rob Ford squeeze toy, $8</strong><br /><br /><br />
This item is still in its conceptual phases, so it may not arrive in time for Christmas. It is, however, one of the more functional pieces of Ford memorabilia out there, and we enjoy the weirdly utopian vibe of <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/690102371/squeeze-ford-stress-toy?ref=live">its Kickstarter page</a>.

<strong>A Rob Ford finger puppet, $18</strong><br /><br /><br />
The silkscreened finger puppet adorning the extremities of our lovely hand model may very well have been the first piece of Rob Ford merchandise ever sold. It came out in 2010, before Ford took office as mayor. It's <a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/167589479/rob-ford-finger-puppet">still available on Etsy</a>.

<strong>Sandro Lisi's parents' house, $700,000</strong><br /><br /><br />
Possibly the ultimate piece of Rob Ford memorabilia, this house, at 82 Thirty-Ninth Street in Long Branch, figured prominently in Project Brazen, the police investigation into drug allegations against the mayor. Ford's friend Sandro Lisi, who was later arrested for marijuana trafficking and extortion, came here many times while he was under surveillance this summer. Police documents released to the media say the two-bedroom bungalow is owned by Lisi's parents, though there's no mention of anyone actually living there. We doubt <a href="http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=13818894&PidKey=626999993">the realtor</a> talks about any of this during his open houses.