March 27, 2006

Am I a Mommy Blogger?

All my life, I've had a pretty healthy relationship with women.

Now, don't get me wrong. Like I've said many times (almost TOO many times),
I'm definitely a "guy's guy."

Mostof the time, I pee standing up (sometimes I even lift the seat up!)
I'm a complete sports fanatic, love classic rock, drive way too fast, and am
perfectly happy eating dinner over the sink. I drink scotch, eat meat, and nothing cracks me up like a good
fart under the covers.

But I also have a softer, more sensitive side. For a sarcastic wise-ass, I'm fairly introspective and generally in touch with my emotions. I love curling up
with a good book. I love cuddling in bed with my wife. And personally, there's nothing more
relaxing for me than a day at the spa.

I bring this up because I'm noticing that the vast majority of my readers seem to be women. I also find that most of the blogs I read are written by women. In fact, most of them are written by women who have children. It may be unusual but I enjoy reading about the challenges of raising children. I love getting advice on how to become a better parent. And call me crazy but I NEVER get sick of the cute stories that people tell about their kids.

HOLY SHIT...AM I A MOMMY BLOGGER?

As my half-Korean Seoul sister Kristen informs me, there is evidently a negative connotation to being a mommy blogger. Apparently, many people who read blogs look down on women who write about being moms and brush them all off as being bored and vapid housewives with nothing better to do than read Redbook and talk about their kids. All "mommy bloggers" are somehow categorically dismissed and marginalized simply due to the fact that they have children. The fact that these same mothers are smart, interesting, funny and insightful is completely disregarded by the vast majority of the blogosphere.

To me, this is just another form of stereotyping or bias. It's insulting and demeaning. It's almost as offensive as dismissing and trivializing people solely due to race.

Shit, I'm a "daddy blogger." And if mommy bloggers are the dregs of the internet, then daddy bloggers are their red-headed stepchildren (no offense to any red-headed stepchildren out there.) But really, NOBODY even knows that we exist! If they did, who knows what they would think of us?

For the most part, I'm sure many people would stereotype "daddy bloggers" as a group of emasculated and oversensitive fathers who are either SAHDs or who subscribe to some sort of New Age-type of parenting. Those people should come here and say that to my face! Because I'm not fucking around here. I will literally take off my apron and beat those fools silly with a spatula and my copy of Iron John.

In all seriousness, any dismissal of fathering blogs is probably related to the fact that, when it comes to issues of parenting, fathers are often marginalized out of the discussion. You always hear about the Mommy Wars. Or the struggle of balancing parenthood and careers. Or the difficulties of being a single mother. But how often do you hear those issues as they relate to men? Very rarely. Does this bother me? Not at all. I'm much more interested in being inclusive rather than divisive. I want no part in a battle that divides mothers and fathers.

So, to all my favorite "mommy bloggers" and "moms who blog," I stand with you in unity!

Screw all the haters! Who cares what they think? Life's too short too worry about all that crap. We may all be parents but we're also a diverse group of individual personalities who have a lot more to discuss than baby wipes, drool and potty training. So, like I've said before, fly your freak flag! Speak your mind! And, together, let's show the haters that there's more to all of us than just being a parent!

After all, how boring would it be if our entire identities were wrapped up solely in the fact that we're also moms and dads?

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Tracked on April 04, 2006 at 01:49 AM

Comments

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I remember hearing about how at last year's BlogHer, people looked down their noses at mommy blogs. I guess parenting is not a cool thing to talk about in the blogosphere. It's too bad because I surf a ton of blogs and I find that the parenting blogs are the ones that are most insightful and interesting and funny. They're also some of the best written.

Love your site. I forwarded your post to my husband, who has just started his blog too. It could be categorized as a daddy blog, I suppose. Our families love getting to hear what's new, and we're having fun joining the blogosphere. It's all good.

You cool. So cool that my husband has been inspired to create his own blog because of you and your coolness. He has not though which, of course, makes him less cool than you and me and all the bloggers out there.

People that think we're just housewives are just jealous at what all we can accomplish in one day that they can't accomplish in one month. I happen to work full time, working on writing my books, take care of my twin infant boys, household, and somehow cram in some me time into all that, plus my boys website, please, these "haters" wish they could do half of what us mommy bloggers do.
Long live the Mommy/Daddy bloggers!

You know, someone about a year ago left me a really hateful comment because I was a "mommy blog" (which was news to me!) and I also discussed sex (oh! the horror!) and the fact that my son was infatuated with his penis. My whole point was that parenting is only a facet of me. I am also (OMG!) a sexual being, a person with my own interests (egads!), and for heaven's sake! Kids get interested in their private parts! Is this news?

UGH! People - ALL of us - can't be lumped into just one category. Not if we are going to actually admit to being REAL people.

Cut us unmarried childless folk a break. Of course we harbor resentment, because the world is constantly telling us that we and our obsessions and ambitions are not as important as your children...and sometimes, it's hard to argue with that. But only sometimes.
If it makes a difference, the person you remind me of most is one of my very close friends, who is a single, childless woman. It's like seeing her brain on testosterone and kids. Please take that as a compliment.

I'm wondering if this whole "mommy blogger" title is just because...honestly...people that are given this "label" DO write primarily about parenting. I don't think that's necessarily offensive; I just think those that are "haters" or using it as a derogatory term are just not interested in reading about parenting, and wonder why those people don't write about MORE than just parenting?

I mean, personally, I've stopped reading certain blogs because I'm not interested in the whole parenting thing, and I found that's all they would write about. I didn't lose one ounce of respect for them, it just was no longer interesting reading to me. I don't think that's a bad thing, it's just preference. I would never say, "OH they're a MOMMY Blogger now!" and move on. I just think, "Hmmm, their lives are way different than mine" and then move on, IF I didn't still find their material interesting.

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I'm wondering if this whole "mommy blogger" title is just because...honestly...people that are given this "label" DO write primarily about parenting. I don't think that's necessarily offensive; I just think those that are "haters" or using it as a derogatory term are just not interested in reading about parenting, and wonder why those people don't write about MORE than just parenting?

I mean, personally, I've stopped reading certain blogs because I'm not interested in the whole parenting thing, and I found that's all they would write about. I didn't lose one ounce of respect for them, it just was no longer interesting reading to me. I don't think that's a bad thing, it's just preference. I would never say, "OH they're a MOMMY Blogger now!" and move on. I just think, "Hmmm, their lives are way different than mine" and then move on, IF I didn't still find their material interesting.

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