Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thankful for all the OTHER days

It's too quiet right now. Mike and I are watching the local news while pasta is boiling for the salad I'm taking to the citywide Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow afternoon. The house is almost ready for our family's celebration on Thursday. Our Gratitude Tree is almost full and looks perfect in the breakfast room. And I just need to collect some more leaves and grapevines from the yard to complete the dining room centerpiece. And maybe a bit more polishing of the silver. The house is pretty clean except for one more go of the Dirt Devil over the hardwoods.

But there is one thing missing. The boys are not here. Nor are they ever for Thanksgiving. For them every Thanksgiving is spent with "the other family" (their biological dad and his parents). And I hate it. Every year I hate it more and more. I hate that the boys are shuttled back and forth this holiday. I hate having to work out the visit during the Christmas holidays. I hate that, as they are getting older, they are not as excited as they once were. I hate that they are seeing that their relationship with their dad is really just surface. I hate it for them. And selfishly I hate it for me...

But it also makes me think about how thankful I am. I don't have to wait for holidays or a weekend here and there to spend time with S and J. I wake them up every morning. I tuck them in every night. I share everyday conversations and experiences with them. I watch them do skateboard tricks. I play "horse" with them. I make bets with them (the latest the S can't read the first four Narnia books before The Voyage of the Dawn Treader comes out in theaters). I'm able to be a mom all the time. And I am thankful for all those days... all the other days.

What a great perspective you have there, in spite of how painful that situation must be for you. You are certainly right about all that though -- it's those little moments that we can take for granted but that are so special and mean a lot to your boys too! I am also a mom of 2 boys about the same ages as your (in looking at your photos) and it can't be beat! Hang in there...little boys have a special place for their Mamas, and you're a great one!! Happy Thanksgiving!

Bevy, your words have brought my eyes to tears. It saddens me to hear that you are without your boys on the holidays but it is wonderful that you can look past your hurt in this moment to see the bigger picture of just how lucky you are, like all of us are who have our children in our homes, our lives and our hearts everyday!I wish you the happiest of Thanksgivings, my friend!

I would hate it too. Double HATE IT. I have a big lump in my throat. I hope there is a grandmother or someone on the other side who is very excited to see the boys. That maybe this means a lot to someone. Try and enjoy your time with Mike. . .a thankfulness retreat. :.)

I feel for you Bevy - that must be very tough. I'll keep you in my thoughts this Thanksgiving. But, you have a great outlook on the positive side of the situation, in that you do have your boys most of the time and you have a wonderful husband with whom to share this blessed holiday. Enjoy your day, eat lots of turkey and then relax if you can. :)

Bevy I'm so sorry the boys are away from you on Thanksgiving. :( I am happy that they get to spend all the regular days with you. You are the foundation of strength and normalcy for them and and that is so important. Sending lots of love to you this Thanksgiving day. :)

Perhaps these little "breaks" are prepping you for the empty nest. It would be very diffy indeed, but the Mommy everyday things are the things that shape their personalities and character. You my dear (and hubby) have the most important role in their lives! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours...

I see we read some of the same blogs so I popped over to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. In reading this post I can totally understand why you hate this day. Being without loved ones tears your heart a little. You are spunky though and have resolved to appreciate it anyway which is the road to helping rid yourself of hate (which is good for your children too). I had hate for many years, -different situation- and it only hurt me until I could make peace with the reason, forgive and try to see only the good. I still struggle with it but can tell you that it makes life better. Your children are adorable and the pic of your three is so sweet!!! Happy TG!!

I didn't have the kids today either. It was really hard. I guess this is all part of my new normal. The day is now over. For that I am Thankful. They are in their beds near me, where they belong. At least I can look forward to next year when they will be with me... and I will truly be thankful for that.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving. So glad the boys got to join you at the beach. I know you cherish every moment you spend with them. Hey- tagged you in a post about "Favorite Things". Hope you can participate- great way to promote the things you love. You could even promote Tea Gifts- since your hubby is owner.