P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters / CP: No

P: It Is Our Duty To Pick Up Fallen Bird Scooters
By Edgar Montgomery Smith

As residents of Westwood, it is our collective responsibility to ensure neighborhood cleanliness and pick up fallen Bird scooters. It is an affront to the immaculate beauty of our community to let piles upon piles of electric scooters stay jumbled along our walkways, obscuring the picturesque vision of this community. For far too long now, heaps of Bird scooters remain struck down in unfavorable locations as pedestrians meander Westwood’s homely streets. I humbly appeal to all residents to do their part in making this pristine town orderly again.

I submitted a similar request years ago when old furniture became a hallmark of our neighborhood. Despite my pleas to dispose of said loungewear properly, termite-infested and often cum-stained futon couches have become an indelible part of our community. The same can be said of old kitchen appliances and mattresses, whose frequent cluttering has also come to define what it means to be a “Westwoodian.” These special piles of trash left to rot haphazardly in the street make this neighborhood the collegiate utopia it is. In the same way residents of Westwood refuse to properly dispose of anything, we must also refuse to keep these poor Bird scooters on the ground.

I implore you, fellow citizen, to do your part in helping Westwood maintain its scenic wonder. When you see a Bird scooter strewn on the ground, please take five seconds out of your day to place it upright in an organized fashion along the pedestrian walkways. If we can commit to this simple act of kindness, then we can go about our days in happiness knowing that community members care about each other’s safety and convenience.