Monday – time to spend eight hours with people you wouldn’t normally give eight seconds. Who would you kill for an Irritation-Free Monday?

Whoa, that answer came out of your mouth way too fast. Now that you made it all weird, let’s quickly switch gears to what DOVE Men + Care can do for you, within the confines of the law.

Instead of punching that guy in your office who says “TGIM” every Monday morning, get your revenge by entering the DOVE Irritation Free-Monday contest. The winner gets their choice from one of six #badass prizes (Sorry, murder for hire is not one of them, you freak.) below:

If you still aren’t thoroughly convinced that DOVE cares about your feelings and your life, the new line of deodorant and antiperspirant proves that DOVE also cares about eliminating the funk you spread in that cube farm at your job.

Whether you like blondes (DOVE Men + Care Deodorant), prefer brunettes (DOVE Men + Care Antiperspirant) or redheads (DOVE Men + Care Clinical Protection), DOVE realizes that variety is the spice of life.

Think of DOVE as that weird stranger who hangs out at the gas station by your job and commented on your new haircut and “How much better it looks” even though you’ve never seen this person in your life. DOVE is like that person, sans mesh trucker hat and saliva engorged toothpick.

The DOVE Men + Care Deodorant collection provides 48 hours of odor protection, includes 1/4 moisturizer technology and is available in four scents: Fresh Awake, Cool Silver, Clean Comfort and Extra Fresh. If the scent doesn’t get your tugboat all steamed up, those names sure will!

The DOVE Men + Care Antiperspirant collection provides 48 hours of odor and wetness protection in a clinically proven non-irritating formula. It includes the same 1/4 moisturizer technology as the deodorant, but it’s infused with Vitamin E to help boost the skin’s natural moisture barrier. It contains the same four flavors as the deodorant, plus Aqua Impact.

DOVE Men + Care Clinical Protection provides prescription strength protection against wetness while guarding against odor in a clinically proven non-irritating formula. Personally, my favorite was the Fresh Awake deodorant. It coated my pits and immediately injected a dose of odor protection and general goodwill.

But for you, I would recommend the Dove Clinical Protection deodorant. With all that talk about killing people and such, your armpits have doubtlessly stained a few dress shirts in their time.