Thursday, February 23, 2006

Revisiting the "fine pickle"

If you missed it, you might want to read the "Here's a fine pickle" post. It's been a little while, but I took everyone's advice and decided to tell that poor woman that her husband is sleeping with anything that'll let him near. It had to be anonymous, though. If this guy could find me, I might be in big trouble.

If it's going to be anonymous, then I'd better have irrefutable proof for her. I set to work on that. I posted a profile he couldn't resist, complete with an X-rated pic of a partially nude woman, that I pulled from an amateur porn site. I wrote about the same kinds of things he put on his profile -- extramarital affairs, the need for discretion, etc. Then, he got a message from this new character I'd created.

He not only took the bait, but he also kept asking for more.

Between the emails and instant messages, I learned so much more that his wife needs to know. He has sex with other women in their car, their home, and their bed. He has sex in his office, after hours. He has sex in all of these places with more than one person at a time. He invited my character to group sex. He asked for really risky types of sex.

What he never asked for was personal information. He didn't want to know real names. I said my character had many, many partners, including strangers. I never mentioned safe sex or being disease free. Neither did he. Don't ask, don't tell.

We arranged to meet today, in a very specific spot. We talked about what kind of sex we'd have and he said it was okay to use his big SUV (no, that's not a euphemism!). I told him I drove a type of car that I've never even been near. Yesterday, I cased the spot and found a few great vantage points. Today, I was early and he was late. He'd been had. As he waited to cheat again, I took pictures of his SUV in the arranged spot, with landmarks in the background that make it unmistakeable, and close-ups of the license plate to seal it. I think I'll include one of the pictures here -- that's him in the SUV, waiting in the romantic locale he picked. Whatta sweetheart.

I wrote her a long email. I explained the transcripts of the emails and instant messages and pictures. I attached the transcripts and the pictures. I found her personal email address on their son's school's PTA site, and then I sent it all along to her. None of the attachments had my information in them.

It's all in her court now. But I wanted all of you to know your advice was heard and taken. Thanks a bunch!