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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I knew that one day having big, beautiful, dove-like, cartoony, exaggerated eyes would be the "in" thing. I knew myself and my fellow baby-doll eyed people would get their day. Apparently, this day came a while ago and I'm just now finding out about it. Damn shame.

The big circular lenses give the appearance of larger eyes and can be purchased for $20 online (plus shipping and handling, of course). People seem to think that GaGa brought it to America with her 'Bad Romance' video, but they've been popular ever since people first started getting into anime.

I'd like to take this time to personally say SUCK IT to those in my past who have told me that my eyes look like something along the lines of "a deer in headlights." Hmph.

Disclaimer:If you haven't already figured it out, I do not wear these contact lenses. Au natural, baby. But if you do decide to wear them, be aware that they pose the same risks as regular contact lenses and are not FDA-approved. Have fun now.

Monday, July 5, 2010

They claim to have your best interest in mind, but their actions speak differently. They are the kind of people who are right by your side when things are going good in your life, but as soon as the clouds move in, they’re no where to be found. For the guys, it’s that “friend” who’s great when you need a hook-up of any kind, but always reminding you of how that girl you’ve been pinning over is out of your league (probably because he wants her for himself). For the ladies, it’s that girl who’s clothes you love to borrow, but who you wouldn’t dare leave alone with your man.

Girls, she’s your friend, who you’ll club-hop with and who will suffer with you as long as your misery it matches her own.But in that same respect, she’s your enemy – she’s critical of you, and never seems to have anything truly productive to add to your life. She’s just kind of. . there.

We all have frenemies. Naturally, no girl will admit to not being able to stand that chick that she just called for advice, but I think it’s clear to everyone how backwards women operate. So why don’t we dismiss these falsies masquerading as friends?

It’s because we don’t have to actually like our friends. People who should really be given the title “associate” or “fair-weather friend” are often described as “friends” or for the truly delusional – besties. We love something about them, and that’s why we keep them around. Maybe she’s our very dependable source of entertainment, or the person we can rely on for amazing shopping discounts or VIP access at clubs. Besides, that age old saying absolutely applies to this relationship: Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. Keep your frenemies on speed dial.

I’ve described them in an unflattering way, but don’t mistake your frenemy for someone who’s two-faced, because that may not be their intent. You just need to recognize that there are things about that person that cannot be trusted, and that you must take everything they say with a grain of salt.

Obviously if you refuse to rid your life of them completely, there’s something there worth exploring. It’s like a fatale attraction, and to be honest – you’re using her too. You might be her frenemy, and you’re trapped in the same childish rotation. Treat everyone with respect, but also respect yourself enough to know that if drama follows you whenever you’re with this particular person, you need to distance yourself. If not, the cycle will continue and you’ll find yourself with repeat deadbeats.

I solemnly swore to update this blog on a (semi) regular basis and I'm totally failing in that respect.

*fake sigh*

I'm actually on vacation in Florida and I'm trying this new thing where I don't bring the work of NY with me wherever I go.

So this is a post to say that even better posts will follow. Scout's honor. Whoever Scout is. .

In the meantime, here's a belated Happy Independence Day! And a rundown of reasons for why I can only visit Florida, and not actually live here.

• NYers have no kind of patience. Neither do 20-something's. We feel we're entitled to a lot just because we've mastered useless technologies. Seeing as how I am both a NYer and a 20-something, the Floridian's lackadaisical way of operating baffles me.

• NYers can drive, and unless a Floridian was originally from another state they truly cannot.

• I can't with things that are far away

being described as "right around the corner." On what planet?

• This month is actually considered part of the rainy season down here. F-ck me, right?

Aside from those minor things I need to adjust to, I'm having a blast and enjoying this much-needed vacation. I'm being shamelessly lazy, eating anything that I find myself staring at for too long, and purchasing whatever I see that's made of lace and floral-print. In short - just doing what I'm good at.