Once again I bit the bullet and watched the glittery cheese fest that is known as Dancing with the Stars so you didn’t have to and unlike other weeks, I am actually sitting in a hotel room on a business trip trying to beat the results show to the starting line. So if this week seems a little abbreviated, I apologize but I had an early flight.

Once again we were LIVE from the I think I need to stop the why don’t we have a corporate sponsor joke before I drive it into the ground Crystal Ballroom and tonight for the first time this season our stars are going to have to dance two dances with one of them being the “Instant Dance”. They are going to have to blindly pick a song and then quickly put a dance together. This could get ugly and don’t we hope that it does.

Brooke Burke – My wife was not wild about her bright pink evening gown. She swore that she had a train to rival Kate Middleton’s or whatever her name & title are now. My wife did however, like Brooke’s hair.

Chelsea Kane – Once again she drew the less than envious first slot and despite the funky red lighting, she nailed it. Only Len refused to give up the 10 because he hates Mark Ballas. I really think that Len would rather get a lapdance from Bruno than give Mark a good score. Not that a 9 is bad. Of course Mark gave Len another reason to whine & complain after the instant dance portion. Once again Chelsea had on fringe. No one on the show, star or pro, has had more fringe in her costumes. My wife thinks it’s because Chelsea is a stick and the fringe makes it seem like she has hips. Fringe or No Fringe, Chelsea is safe.

Romeo – The most shocking thing I heard last night was that Romeo’s movie had come out over the weekend. I was shocked. I even looked it up and it actually made money. What is this world coming to ? Anyway, during Romeo’s first song, he danced in dark light and wore all black. His partner, Chelsie Hightower, smartly wore a very flowing & bright red dress to help distract the judges. It must have worked because his scores were more than he deserved. In the instant dance, he again faltered as he never seemed to connect with the music or with the dance. His scores this week were low enough that even a strong fan vote by his supporters may not be enough. Good thing he has his movie career.

Hines Ward – More Terrible Towels in the audience but none of the people waving them look like the closest they have ever been to the Steel City was when they watched FLASHDANCE and they certainly have never been to Primanti Brothers. The judges continued to be immune to any of his errors during his opening foxtrot, a dance that for the first time required some real footwork from Hines. During his instant jive he definitely looked like he was running routes during an early preseason game but again, the judges, while seeming to actually notice, did not score him the way they talked about him. My wife feels that Hines is too stiff up top and I don’t disagree but Hines is still safe. In fact, he is lock for the final three.

Kirstie Alley – Last week Kirstie was told that she “acted” too much and wasn’t dancing enough. She took that advice to heart and in her opening number she danced like she hadn’t danced since week 1. It should also be noted that her partner Maks displayed some serious power moves in several lifts that were awkward in nature and required strength & balance. In case you can’t tell, I was impressed. This was not the same guy that collapsed under her in the early weeks. Of course Kirstie isn’t the same gal either. She’s actually losing some weight and looks better each week. Her instant dance looked anything but good but Len’s meds wore off as he gave her a 9. Kirstie had the scores this week to easily cruise into next week.

Ralph Macchio – This was not a good week for Daniel-San. I bet he felt like he was collapsing against a wire fence last night when he was done because he had been beaten soundly by the judges. In Ralph’s defense, he did suffer a leg injury earlier in the week and his 50 year old body needed more than Mr. Miyagi’s Magic Hand Slap to save the day. In his opening number he came out with an almost creepy goth like vampire look as he stalked around the floor dragging his bad leg around behind. Karina did keep him dancing in the fog for as long as she could but it still wasn’t good. A quick costume side note, did someone forget to finish the collar on Ralph’s sheer faux turtleneck or was it meant to look like it was cut by a drunk with dull scissors on purpose ? Back to the instant dance and Ralph mad parking meters look mobile but even on one leg, he was still better than Kenny Mayne, Steve Wozniak and Master P (Romeo’s Dad). Ralph is going to need a lot of help from the fans to stay another week.

So that brings us to who stays and who goes. Chelsea & Hines are locks for the Final 3 and Kirstie has the scores to go with her large fan base to get to next week. Romeo & Ralph will be the two left standing at the end. The only drawback to predicting a Ralph comeback this week is the change in voting this season. Each week the fans have had the number of votes that they can cast be reduced. I am sure that Ralph has more supporters than Romeo but this late in the season, does he have enough to make up that much from the dance scores ? That being said, as much as I would love to see Chelsie Hightower finally win the title she so richly deserves, Romeo is going home.

But don’t be surprised if we get Ralph removing himself from the competition due to further injuring his leg last night.