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J I5HyT7 .NOT IN THE ORDERSJim's boss sent him up on the roofto paint it. That was early in themorning. Toward nightfall the bossclambered up the ladder to sea wherehis workman was."Jim, you lazy piece, what youbeen doing?"Muffin'.". "Didn't I Bend you up here to paint-the roof?""Yassir.""Why didn't you come down if youhad finished ?"" 'De,ed, boss, you jes' said paint deropf. Yau rievah said nufflri' 'boutcomin' down." Washington Star..A celebrated vocaljst was in amotor-car accident one day. Afelnaper, after recording the accident,d:"We are happy to state that hewas able to appear the followingevening In three pieces.",Already doneMr. Taft, when he was in the WhiteHouse, never oyerlooked an opportunity for a joke. In the closingmonths of his administration HenryL. Stimson,then secretary of war,wrote Mr. Taft a, very urgent request tjiat he give a friend of Stimson a certain Federal position.Mr. Taft wrote to, Stimson as follows: "My Dear Stimson I am sorry IL cannot do anything for your friendin Te'sponse to your letter of todayWould like to accommodate you, butit is impossible. Sincerely yours,William H. Taft"Under thisiie wrote: 'v"Turn over."Then Mr. Stimson read on theother side of the paper:"I couldn't do it today becausegave' the fellow a job yesterday."rO o 'POINT IN HER FAVORThe lovely girl, having lingered aminute, in her room to adjust hertransformation, change the ancle ofher Grecian band and make sure thather skirt fitted like the peeling of aplum, descended to the parlor to findthe family pet ensconced upon theknee of the young man caller, hercurly head nestled comfortablyagainst his shoulder.wny, Mabel! tne young lady exclaimed; "aren't you ashamed ofyourself? Get right down.""Shan t do it, retorted the child."I got here first." Ladies' HomeJournal.. oo . ,PUT IT OUT"Madge?""Yes, dear.""May I smokeJiere in.the'parlor?""No, Jack. Father wbuld-put youout." ' -"Put me put?"H am afraid so.""Well, Madge.""Yes, dear.""The lamp's smoking!" (And thethere was. darkness.)