When I saw this quote I leaned back and thought about how true it was with regard to business — business owners & leaders & founders … and their customers. Of course I then thought about people in general <because people are customers>.

But let me begin with business. And hope. And bending.

It is sometimes difficult to believe how many ways hope can come to life in business. I find it difficult because, in my mind, it would seem like hope is just … well … hope. And … well … hope is a good thing <one would think>.

But I have seen entrepreneurs blinded by Hope <losing sight of reason>.

I have seen Hope suffocate pragmatism.

I have seen Hope en-trance to such an extent that rational business people say, and do, irrational things.

And then on the other side I have seen some of the best and brightest big business people let cynicism and skepticism make them lose sight of hope.

I have seen some businesses get so mired in day to day detail … and some of the mind numbing thousand cuts that detail can ruthlessly wield to a business … that they cannot even see hope <even if it rises on their horizon like a sun on a cloudless morning>.

Life makes hope in business difficult <at times>.

Because in business Life doesn’t really bend you as much as it bludgeons you. And as you get bludgeoned you have one of two choices:

lean in to Hope and go <progress>, or

lean back against Hope and say ‘go ahead … but I will move no further back <support & reinvigorate>’

I have always said that we in management and those with an opportunity to lead are first and foremost NOT in the profit & revenue business … we are in the Hope business.

To be clear. This doesn’t mean Hope at the expense of everything else. It is more like a guiding light.

A beacon.

A lighthouse.

A star.

Which leads me to a business’s customers. What customers really want isn’t some functional rational widget.

Sure. They want shit that works, but, they kind of expect to receive shit that works. The truth is they really want to bend themselves <and their wallets> toward hope. That may sound esoteric and soe people will want to attach specific ’emotional benefits’ and they may be right. Or. It may just be as simple as Hope <be better, something better, do better>.

Now. As I type that, I will admit, I have seen some businesses that do such a fantastic job internally, culturally, with regard to building Hope into their own vision and their organization. Uhm. And then they treat their customers as ‘low price commodity shopper aficionados.’

How can that be? Why do they think that way? Hope will always be better, and more valuable, than any rational commodity-like widget benefit you are offering.

By the way this is not some hypothetical philosophical bullshit. People say they want lowest price but time and time again they show they are willing to pay more. We, in business, may suggest it is ‘brand’ or ‘emotional’ or even some irrational behavior that we cannot explain, but, in the end people are paying for Hope.

Hope for something a little better that will make them feel a little better.

Which ultimately leads me to people.

I actually think I don’t have to write or say much more.

You get it. Life tries to break us where it counts — in our hearts. And most times Life doesn’t really succeed. Despite its best efforts, at its worst, it typically just bends us.

And even at its worst what Life really does is to bend us toward hope.

Maybe it even pushes us to Hope. In fact. Maybe that’s the reason why Life does try and break us on occasion. To remind us of the power of hope.

Regardless. Life forces us to look at Hope … hold it … maybe hug it, but, at minimum … look at it in the eye and say “who are you?” Hope will almost always respond <as it bends close to you> … “I am something better.”

“The moment you decide an event is impossible and therefore stop directing your attention to it is the moment when it will take place.”

–

General Petro Grigorenko

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Well. This is about a couple things.

First is ‘the inevitability of the impossible.’ <that may be the quote of the day>

Second is convictions. General Grigorenko is also the one who said “Convictions are not like gloves.”

Ok.

The inevitability of the impossible.

I have noted that military leaders have a habit of saying very smart things in very simple ways. Especially when it comes to how often the unbelievable becomes the believable, the impossible becomes possible and how well thought out planning becomes a ‘non-plan.’ And, please note, this isnt about dreams or hopes or some intangible future planning … this is about real tangible Life. Stuff that actually happens.

Regardless. His quote is a version of the Black Swan theory. Just a reminder. The Black Swan theory basically suggests that our past experience doesn’t mean shit with regard to the future. For example we believed only white swans were possible <and we then therefore planned a future based on such> and stopped paying attention to swans and, DOH!, lo and behold someone discovered a black swan.

Go figure. The impossible became possible. The unbelievable became believable.

Look. I imagine it is helpful for us to remind ourselves on occasion that just when we are absolutely positively 100% sure that something is impossible … it occurs.

Not always. But just often enough that we shouldn’t be too surprised that the moment we stop directing our attention to it, it happens.

This is a simple thought and one I just like to remind people about. You cannot plan for everything just as you cannot be sure of anything. But that, my friends, is what we call Life.

Anyway. That may sound fairly unsettling because that means … well … you cannot be sure of anything.

Well.

Because I am who I am … I would like to take a minute of your time and tell you who Grigorenko was and why I wanted to use his quote and make a point on the inevitability of unexpected things happening <and something we CAN be sure of>. This leads me to the second thought … convictions.

Convictions.

A native of Ukraine, Grigorenko had been arrested and sent to a mental hospital in 1964 for criticizing the Soviet government for deviating from the Leninist principles and for his unyielding stand against the party bureaucracy and oppressive policies. Grigorenko told a group of Crimean Tatars in a speech that they need to take a more aggressive stand, it is their legal right to demand to repatriate, and the crimes committed by the Soviet government against their people amount to ‘genocide’ under international laws <note: that did not go over particularly well with the Soviet leadership>. In 1969, he was arrested the second time in Tashkent, where he was to attend the trials of Crimean Tatar activists, and spent another five years in psychiatric confinement.

But here is the important part:

In the mental hospital Chernyakhovsk Grigorenko underwent another diagnostic examination on January 17th 1971:

“Convictions are not like gloves; one cannot easily change them.” … the general answered.

“The treatment will continue” … the doctor announced.

Well. “Convictions are not like gloves.”

There is a keeper of a thought. I wish more of us in the business world would keep this in mind.

Aw, hell, I wish all of us would keep this in mind.

In a world where the impossible becomes possible almost on a daily basis. In a world where it seems as soon as you relax and believe that something will not happen … and it happens. It is nice to be able to hold on to something. Something that cannot be changed like a pair of gloves.

Convictions. Nice things to wear day in and day out. They stay clean forever so you don’t need to take the off an wash them.

I am done. That was my thought for the day.

But. To close. I thought I would share Grigorenko’s speech that got him in trouble.

================

Speech of Petro Grigorenko to Crimean Tatars, 1968:

Why have your people been so discriminated against? Section 123 of the Soviet Constitution reads: ’Any direct or indirect limitation on rights… of citizens because of their racial or national membership… is punishable by law.’

Thus the law is on your side. [Stormy applause]

But still your rights are being flouted. Why?

We believe that the main reason behind this is the fact that you underestimate your enemy. You think that you are dealing with honest people. But this is not so! What has been done to your people was not done by Stalin alone. And his accomplices are not only alive—but they occupy responsible positions. You are appealing to the leadership of the party and the state with conciliatory written requests. But that which belongs to you by right should not be asked for but demanded. [Stormy applause and cries of agreement]

So begin to demand. And demand not just parts, pieces, but all that was taken from you unlawfully—demand the reestablishment of the Crimean Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic! [Stormy applause and cries of “Hail the Crimean Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic”]

Don’t limit your actions to the writing of petitions. Fortify them with all of those means which the Constitution provides you—the freedom of speech and of the press, of meetings, assemblies, of street marches and demonstrations.

A newspaper is published for you in Moscow. But the people behind that newspaper do not support your movement. Take the newspaper away from them. Elect your own editorial board. And if people hinder you in doing this, boycott that newspaper and create another one—your own! A movement cannot develop normally without its own press.

And in your struggle do not shut yourselves in a narrow nationalist shell. Establish contacts with all the progressive people of other nationalities of the Soviet Union. Do not consider your cause to be solely an internal Soviet matter. Appeal for help to the world progressive public and to international organizations. What was done to you in 1944 has a name. It was genocide.

Well. Today is the anniversary of Tupac’s death. I will let you read the poem before I say some things:

=============

“I exist in the depths of solitude

pondering my true goal.

Trying 2 find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul.

CONSTANTLY yearning 2 be accepted

and from all receive respect.

Never compromising but sometimes risky

and that is my only regret.

A young heart with an old soul

how can there be peace.

How can I be in the depths of solitude

when there R 2 inside of me.

This Duo within me causes

the perfect opportunity

2 learn and live twice as fast

as those who accept simplicity.”

–

poem by Tupac Shakur

======================

Ok. Every once in awhile you read something written by a famous, controversial, individual and you get reminded that most of us are alike in how we think about some of the really important shit – Life and how we attempt to navigate it.

Tupac’s poem was one of those things for me.

First of all, stylistically, not a single line or word is wasted. Each line, each word, is thoughtful and thought provoking.

Second it’s Tupac. Why does that matter? Tupac wasn’t just controversial — he was a lightning rod for issues. Some controversy created by his own fault and some created by a less-than-understanding, and unforgiving, public. Sometimes that controversy made many of us <me included> tune him out on occasion. I imagine I was not in a minority as a group of people who just began thinking there was nothing truly meaningful to hear from this individual. 2 quick thoughts about that:

I was wrong.

What a shame (I missed out on a lot).

Regardless. I am catching up on lost Tupac time. Let me say the man could put words together in ways many people can only dream of. He was a contradiction <as many of us are> and he had the ability to capture that contradiction in what he said and sang and did.

All that said, let me get back to the poem.

In the depths of solitude. Within each of our own ‘depths of solitude’ I imagine we all wrestle with some of the same things Tupac did in addition to some of our own stuff. I imagine if we invested the energy to think about it enough we would see that we wrestle so much because of , well, the natural contradictions which reside in almost everyone of us.

Peace of mind and preserve my soul.

Never compromise but sometimes risky.

Young heart and old soul <how can there be peace?>

And what an amazing thought he finishes with … for all of us to ponder.

“Learn faster than those who accept simplicity.

Awesome. So rather than have the contradictions split him or slow him down Tupac accepts the contradictions as permission to see the hope, in his own soul searching <depths of solitude>, to think he can live life, and learn, twice as fast. All the while still recognizing that life is not really that simple … yet some accept the simplest path possible.

In my eyes accepting simplicity does not equate to really living life to its fullest … but that’s me. And I certainly don’t have the level of joie de vivre that Tupac had. A joie de vivre which was actually almost a rebellion against simplicity or at least over simplification.

I envision there is some place in between all of these contradictions which represents a relatively happy medium.

All my own words & thoughts aside. This is a thoughtful smart insightful poem from a man who should have lived longer to share what he had to share.

I will say because he didn’t live longer we should pay attention to what he did share while he was alive.

“The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of it’s scent nor the daisy of its simple charm.

If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness.”

―

Thérèse de Lisieux

================

Ok.

I cannot think of one person I know who doesn’t think their day is full, their life is seemingly constantly stretched or feels like they do not have enough time to either <1> do what they want to do, or <2> do what they need to do.

I cannot think of one person I know who doesn’t think, at least on occasion, about whether that “full” really equals ‘full’ or if it actually doesn’t feel a little less than full and maybe even a little empty.

This empty or full discussion is one I tend to believe we have over and over and over again in our own minds. And, yes, 99% of the time it is in our own heads. Why? Well. Because discussing it with someone else is fraught with peril.

Most of us have clearly faced up to the fact that no one will have any compassion for your full life nor your emptiness. This is slightly weird because we all talk about being empathetic <I mean who the hell wants to say they have no compassion or empathy?> and, yet, most everyone is fairly sure their own ‘full/empty’ version is ‘fuller & emptier’ than anyone who would be bitching about theirs. That said, this empty/full discussion is all ours — alone.

Why? The harsh truth is that, in general, compassion and empathy on this topic is fairy difficult in practice.

Especially when it comes into conflict with people’s feelings about hard work, work in general <because ‘hard work’ is in the eyes of the beholder>, doing <what constitutes real ‘doing’ varies by person>, earning things and what someone does or doesn’t deserve. That is a long list of shit to have people in potential conflict over.

This actually means, whether we like it or not, this discussion is actually one about character & self.

Ok.

Maybe this is more a discussion of “the individual” and deciding who and what you want to be as a person <beyond simply ‘doing’>.

Ok.

Maybe it is more a discussion of “if every flower wanted to be a rose spring would lose its loveliness.”

Ok.

This discussion is difficult <I imagine if it was not then we would never feel full and yet empty at the same time>. Measuring the individual against “the whole” is almost like breathing. We do it without even thinking. This doesn’t mean we ignore all the ‘individual’ stuff like personal skills of perseverance, curiosity, optimism and self-control, but more likely than not somewhere along the way we make a not-entirely-conscious decision to prioritize areas of life, both in personal and business, in relation to other people. This decision, many times, is less about us but rather driven by:

<a> the daily shit which fills up our days and

<b> what society norms suggests ‘full’ looks like.

As we do this we recognize <albeit painfully> that there is no ‘secret to success and work/life balance. The truth is that everyone just prioritizes how they see fit. Unfortunately, that is when we almost inevitably circle back to society <what a rose looks like> rather than simply just assess and do on our own.

Look.

Full but empty is a personal battle. I will not call this living in the inevitable rat race because I tend to lean toward the thought that everyone has an individual power to make a decision for the individual <and selectively ignoring societal norms and ‘cues’ just is not that difficult>. And, yet, I recognize that we are constantly ‘trained’ to push for the sake of pushing <under the guise of attaining higher and higher outcomes>. The problem with this ‘training’ is that it encourages us to “fill our lives” with what constitutes a fairly narrow view of success <which also quickly ‘fills’ your Life>.

I personally don’t think most people need to be trained to push themselves. I think most of us are hard-wired this way. In fact … I could argue that pushing yourself is not the problem. I could argue the ‘empty’ is mostly driven by a sense of failure which starts lightly coating <and ultimately suffocating> everything you do … regardless of how objectively successful you are.

=

“Somebody once said we never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”

Billie Holiday

=

Society demands a lot of things of us. It sets up some fairly absurd rules and a shitload of damn stupid measurements. Society is society and I am not smart enough to be able to offer to everyone how to not be full but empty. But I can suggest a couple of things that could help.

Be consistent.

My gut tells me that at the core of being full but empty is that we chase shit. And by ‘chase shit’ I mean that with the intent to ‘fill up’ we start ‘checking off.’ That’s not really purpose driven nor living a life with a purpose … because it is simply chasing a moving list of things. Maybe I could just suggest avoiding being ‘two/three/four/five faced’ as you attack filling up your Life and just focus on one good face. And maybe try and keep that face facing forward as often as you can.

Freedom not control.

This is hard. Really hard. We want to control everything in our lives … including people and their actions. But in trying to control we actually tend to limit the freedom we should give Life to expand to its best … for us and those around us. Healthy productive people don’t like to be constrained by someone else. Why shouldn’t this pertain to ourselves and how we try and fill, or empty, our lives? <answer: it should pertain … and it is not different>.

So. Just to finish up for today. For some reason our ‘hallowed ground’ of happiness more often than not ends up in a dead end pursuit. And then we are stopped … and look at ‘full but empty’ footsteps behind us. Unfortunately, whether we like it or not, life takes some real thinking with an open mind to not end up at some dead end.

But maybe more importantly it takes the right attitude … if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness

What I mean by that is because society and culture has encouraged us to think of ‘full’ as doing and tasks and outcomes that means we all are, in some form or fashion, seeking to be a rose. And truth be told we are a field of violets, sunflowers, lilies, astirs, and more – as well as roses – and that is what makes Life look lovely.

And that, to me, is the key to this whole solving ‘full but empty’ thing. Ignore the roses, find out what flower you are and bloom.

“How wild is it that every version of you probably exists still, somewhere, in someone’s memory?

The messy you, crying on the floor exists still in your mind. The happy, sun-soaked you, exists in your best friend’s memory. No part of you has died, all parts of us exist always, simultaneously and hidden.”

In that post I said … Maybe I could just suggest avoiding being ‘two/three/four/five faced’ as you attack filling up your Life and just focus on one good face. And maybe try and keep that face facing forward as often as you can.

Well. The truth is that your one face will come to life in different versions in other’s eyes. You can do everything consistently. You can do your best. Shit. You can actually be your best day in and day out. Yet, every version of who and what you are will exist, in all its different forms, somewhere in someone’s memory.

Someone will pick up a picture of you and remember you in a way that you may like; you may dislike, but is actually some version of you.

Well. How the hell does this happen if you are consistent?

Couple of things to think about.

Most importantly — interesting people are multi faceted. So even if you have ‘one face’ and one direction and one purposeful driven life and one clear soul … it can come to Life in different ways based on the context in which it is asked to interact with Life. Life pulls out the best and worst of you. And rarely does it do so in solitude … you can pretty much expect a shitload of other people around to see what you do and how you respond.

For some of those people that will be their only memory of you.

For some of those people that will be their most impactful memory of you.

Does that mean it is you? Yes and no. Yes in that it reflects a fragment of who and what you are. No in that it most likely is not a particularly good judge of your overall you. People should never be judged at their worst, or their best, and yet we’ll do just that day in and day out. Suffice it to say there are a shitload of versions of you wandering around out there in people’s memories.

Next.

We change. Yeah. we stay the same at our core but as we interact with people, thoughts and things we morph … hopefully for the better … but change it is. That I was yesterday, this I am today, and there I will be tomorrow. You are really the only one who experiences that time transition … everyone else is simply checking in and out.

What does that mean?

Part of the challenge about the whole ‘full but empty’ thing for us is that it isn’t always just about us. You can feel happy about the way you are but people can see a variety of things which do not even closely resemble how you are feeling. And most of us are self-aware enough, and observantly aware enough, to recognize any disconnects in real time. So while being full and not empty is really about maximizing your potential in an overall sense … you also are stuck doing some real time ‘maximizing potential obstacle management.’

When you do this, well, it slows you down from full stuff and only encourages more empty stuff.

In the end.

We all know you have to actively participate in Life because if you do not, well, Life will inevitably pick you to be on the worst dodgeball team, put you in the worst seat in a stadium and in the worst weather when you do not have the right clothes.

Stay true to thineself.

It doesn’t guarantee you shit in Life other than the version of you that you carry with you will look good to you. Not everyone else will like it, and some will love it, but you may as well have one you like.

In other words. You may as well be an architect of your own fate and manage your own version because everyone else will carry around a ‘version of you’ you cannot really control.

“Shut the fuck up … don’t ever compliment me by insulting other women. That’s not a compliment; it’s a competition none of us agreed to.”

—

(via aussie-with-glasses)

==============

Ok. This isn’t about society & women & standards <although I have written many times on that topic> this is about competitions we don’t agree to in Life, in a society that creates them and a sense of “self” in which we are constantly trying to find meaning in the competition of ‘doing’. Many of us can go through life doing the best we can trying to get along and, in general, view most things in life as a journey and not some race and … well … sometimes people, things and society have a different view.

What this means is you are demanded to compete in some competition you really never agreed to.

Let me explain. There are absolutely a bunch of people out there who define themselves by competition. They seek to find validation & actualization through some comparison versus what others are doing <this, basically, is competition>. And then there are people like me <I do not know how many there are of us but I imagine it is a fairly significant %>. While I like winning and, on occasion, a good competition gets the heart rate up and ‘ups my game’ the majority of the time I don’t view Life when I wake up and go to work as a competition with anyone and anything but myself. I simply want to do good things <epic shit if possible> do the best I can and better than I did yesterday. I guess my competition is yesterday not other people. That said. I am not naïve. I know that everyday I wake up and go to work I am entering into ‘the Thunderdome’ and entering into some competition that I didn’t really agree to.

=========

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

Steve Maraboli

============

I don’t like it. But I recognize it. As often as I can, I avoid the competitions I don’t agree to.

By the way … if you google “how to deal with competitions you do not agree to” you will get zilch, zero, no results on that topic.

None.

Ponder that for a second.

All that said.

This does mean that you receive compliments as well as criticisms based on competitions you didn’t agree to.

And that is aggravating. It is like you are being judged by the Race Walking Olympic judges, with scores you don’t really care about, because you were just out jogging that day. Day in and day out people who really do not want to compete, other than with their own standards, are faced with having to accommodate competition they didn’t agree to.

What a fucking pain in the ass. I would also point out it sounds incredibly inefficient and time wasting.

Look. I am not suggesting some competition isn’t bad. I am suggesting that we go fucking overboard with regard to ‘forcing competition’ into all threads of Life & society & culture. I do believe it is healthy for young people to understand that in competition some people win and some people lose and that some people get trophies and not everyone gets one <although getting a trophy is not all there is to success & Life>.

I do believe it is healthy in youth to understand that some people are smarter than others, that some have skills you don’t have and that some people more easily learn some things than you do.

I do believe it is healthy for young people to learn how to compete and that competition can be healthy.

But at some point I think it would be good for society & culture to either turn that switch off or maybe learn how to turn on the dimmer switch because I think part of being an adult is knowing what you are good at and what you may not be good at and deciding for yourself <some would call that personal responsibility> how you want to achieve the best version of yourself.

I am not convinced that society, and business, creating some false versions of competition which almost encourages me to compete in some competition I really didn’t agree to, let alone really want to compete, is a good thing.

I tend to believe people like me think our competition is harsher and more challenging than any competition society can create for me and because of that I tend to want to dismiss outside competitions.

Yeah.

That choice is fraught with peril. Suffice it to say … just knowing that there is peril in not wanting to compete in some competition I didn’t even agree to is aggravating. But that is the world we currently live in. We are asked to compete against other flowers when all most of us want to do is bloom.

“Heroism is an obedience to a secret impulse of an individual’s character.

Now to no other man can its wisdom appear as it does to him, for every man must be supposed to see a little farther on his own proper path than anyone else.”

–

Ralph Waldo Emerson

<ESSAY VIII Heroism>

===

So.

This is about my thoughts on heroes but let me start by saying I tend to believe little things can make a big difference. And in a never ending struggle with everyday common Life you should seek the small victories because in the end … a big Life is made up of some pretty important small victories.

That said. Some things are bigger than others. And some big things cannot be done by accumulating a bunch of little things … even if they are really good little things.

And some big things should never be diminished. Like heroism & heroes.

Yup. On a day in the United States where we recognize the memories of heroes, the veterans of the military, I want to talk about heroes.

Now. Before I say what I want to say … I know we need heroes. Not just for practical reasons <we need to remember that they actually did something heroic that made a difference> but from a character compass standpoint.

They become a North Star for attitude, actions and character.

Universally we all have a desire to hear the stories and to identify with people with strong character and learn through the circumstances and choices that make them heroic to us.

And. I believe it is a Life truth that there can be no great heroes without great followers which means we, the ordinary people, are the great followers always seeking the great heroes.

And that is what I want to discuss.

Great heroes and, uhm, how I struggle with the ‘local media spotlighted’ heroes. I struggle because I believe that in order to deserve a real hero we the people, the common everyday people who fight the good fight day in and day out, must be able to rise above a sense of self and the belief that we are ‘heroic’ in our everyday lives and stop thinking the overall belief that heroism resides in the capacity of the majority.

For true heroism is not in the purview of the common person. True heroism is not for you & I <okay, maybe some of us, but not me>.

Whoa ! <you say> Let me explain my thinking.

We have a desperate <and not a bad objective with poor intentions> desire for heroes and heroism. And in doing so we have a tendency to celebrate the glimpses of heroism found in the ordinary person in possibly an extraordinary moment. Maybe by doing so we diminish heroism. To me, despite how we want to treat these following things as exceptional or examples for people to follow, things like duty, honor, courage & integrity are every day obligations for everyday people.

Not exceptional, but expected.

People should be going about doing what they do with a sense of duty simply doing what we expect people should do. I believe Hero should be an esteemed status. Commending only those who ‘serve beyond the call of duty’ without expectation of reward’.

Elite.

Just as there is only one North Star, the great heroes remain the brightest of the bright stars. When we create heroes from those who simply portray courage or a strong sense of duty <or doing what is right> it seems to lessen rather than increase the image and reality of true heroism.

Great heroes are few in number.

Great heroes are not doing little things that matter.

I fully understand this is a contrary point of view.

We like everyday heroes. Or maybe we just like the idea of them & the fact an ordinary person can be one.

News always raises up the unheralded local person, the unknown personality, the common person doing something seemingly heroic in everyday Life and shares ‘the story.’

We like it. To be sure, these people certainly deserve to be commended. Commended as heroes? Well. You could argue that to claim most people are heroes, and do heroic things, suggests that there really are not any heroes.

Heroes are not common. Heroic acts cannot be common.

Ok.

Here is the good news <for me> so that before everyone starts shoving random objects up my wazoo … Ralph Waldo Emerson agrees with me <or I guess I agreed with him?>.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The characteristic of heroism is its persistency. All men have wandering impulses, fits, and starts of generosity. But when you have chosen your part, abide by it, and do not weakly try to reconcile yourself with the world. The heroic cannot be the common, nor the common the heroic.”

Ralph <or Waldo to his closest drinking buddies> wrote an essay on Heroism. A brilliant piece <albeit he uses a boatload of words I do not understand and strings them together in some very odd sentences> where he solidly puts forth a belief that heroes are special and few.

Let me share some of his thoughts <I have bolded the really special parts>:

———

Our culture, therefore, must not omit the arming of the man. Let him hear in season, that he is born into the state of war, and that the commonwealth and his own well-being require that he should not go dancing in the weeds of peace, but warned, self-collected, and neither defying nor dreading the thunder, let him take both reputation and life in his hand, and, with perfect urbanity, dare the gibbet and the mob by the absolute truth of his speech, and the rectitude of his behaviour.Towards all this external evil, the man within the breast assumes a warlike attitude, and affirms his ability to cope single-handed with the infinite army of enemies. To this military attitude of the soul we give the name of Heroism.

Heroism feels and never reasons, and therefore is always right; and although a different breeding, different religion, and greater intellectual activity would have modified or even reversed the particular action, yet for the hero that thing he does is the highest deed, and is not open to the censure of philosophers or divines. It is the avowal of the unschooled man, that he finds a quality in him that is negligent of expense, of health, of life, of danger, of hatred, of reproach, and knows that his will is higher and more excellent than all actual and all possible antagonists. It is the state of the soul at war, and its ultimate objects are the last defiance of falsehood and wrong, and the power to bear all that can be inflicted by evil agents. It speaks the truth, and it is just, generous, hospitable, temperate, scornful of petty calculations, and scornful of being scorned. It persists; it is of an undaunted boldness, and of a fortitude not to be wearied out. Its jest is the littleness of common life. That false prudence which dotes on health and wealth is the butt and merriment of heroism.

Heroism, like Plotinus, is almost ashamed of its body.

… which common duty can very well attain, to suffer and to dare with solemnity. But these rare souls set opinion, success, and life, at so cheap a rate, that they will not soothe their enemies by petitions, or the show of sorrow, but wear their own habitual greatness.

—-

Heroes are immortal in their heroism.

Heroes have no death.

And they are bigger than us normal everyday folk.

Their purity has never been ‘shrunk to the common size of man.’ We should put heroism on a pedestal just as we should exalt the true heroes.

Emerson reminds us heroism cannot be common … because it is the one thing that is deemed worthy of immortality “… made death impossible, and affirms itself no mortal, but a native of the deeps of absolute and inextinguishable being.”

Ralph was a smart guy and said some really smart things.

We cheapen heroism a little bit by bestowing that honor on too many for too little. And by ‘too little’ I am suggesting we have set the bar too low. We should expect honor, duty, integrity and, yes, courage of convictions and courage to do what is right from everyone.

Those things are the standard for citizenship.

Heroes carry that standard to the forefront and beyond. They are the ones who speak the truth when truth is most difficult to speak, have the fortitude to not be wearied out by littleness of common life and are the rare souls who but wear their own habitual greatness.

When I saw this quote I started jotting thoughts down immediately. Here was the most interesting note: “least expensive or most expensive?”

Huh?

It costs you nothing to be a decent person but it can still be an expensive decision. This may sound incredibly cynical, but deciding to be decent is not a zero sum decision — it is a Life value equation.

I decide to do this <be decent> or do not do this <not be decent> and ‘this’ is the repercussion of that decision <the value or lost opportunity/gain>.

Yeah.

By being decent in the business world you can be viewed as ‘too nice’ and get mangled by some cutthroat asshat.

By being decent in Life you can be viewed as naive and get taken advantage of by those willing to ‘do what it takes.’

Therefore, oddly and unfortunately, decency can ultimately be assessed in ROI terms by many of us in our lives.

Boy … that sounds pretty shitty when I say it out loud.

Ok.

So someone may argue with the ROI thing but maybe think of it this way:

You walk by 4 homeless people but give the 5th one you see $20. Does the $20 balance out the fact you ignored the other 4? You were decent but selectively so.

Don’t like that?

So set aside the money.

You walk by 4 homeless veterans … never acknowledging them or looking at them … the 5th homeless vet you stop for a second and look them in the eye and say “thank you for your service.” Does the one you give some dignity to zero out the 4 you completely disregarded?

Unfortunately, decency is an ROI assessment. And more excruciatingly … it is an assessment made moment by moment as well as cumulatively. What I mean by that is decency is mutually exclusive not inclusive … and decent moments are independent of other moments <when you may not have been so, or as, decent> … not interdependent <warning: I most likely mangled the meanings of both mutually exclusive and independent>.

—-

Mutually exclusive events cannot happen at the same time. For example: when tossing a coin, the result can either be heads or tails but cannot be both. Events are independent if the occurrence of one event does not influence (and is not influenced by) the occurrence of the other(s).

—-

You do not accumulate ‘decency points’ in Life or in business. Not being decent cannot be equaled out by being extraordinarily decent in another moment.

Yeah.

That doesn’t sound particularly fair does it?

But you have to think that way or you start thinking about decency in a conscious decision making balance sheet sort of way. For example:

“Well, I am not going to be particularly decent in this situation because to do so I may not benefit as much as I believe I deserve”and then a couple days later you consciously say to yourself “I was kind of an asshat the other day so maybe if I am particularly decent now that will make up for it.”

I absolutely hated myself for scribbling any thought down that suggested there was a cost to being a decent person.

Frickin’ hated even having the thought. But no matter how much I hated it … it surely does seem like it is a Life truth.

To me there is only one way to resolve this ‘self dilemma’ and it is an ‘either/or’ thought. You accept the fact you are gonna be a decent human being all the time and accept that the chips will fall as they may throughout Life … and they may not all fall your way <and you can spend your last days on earth feeling pretty good about yourself from a character standpointby realizing a Big life can often be found in a shitload of small victories>.

Or.

You accept the fact that situational decisions are situational decisions and you are a decent person at heart therefore you seek to view life, in the end, as “I was more often decent than I wasn’t” <and a Big life meant you bucked the odds of a world constantly trying to encourage non-decency and you won more often than you lost>.

I cannot choose the path for you. Every person choose how expensive, or inexpensive, they assess being a decent person.

But I will state that simply recognizing that this is the dilemma we face in Life … and that this is basically your choice … you have accepted that being a decent person is an ROI analysis.

A decent person and ROI. Sigh. What a sad thought. But it is most likely a Life truth.

“One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.”

—-

Plato

============

“A person who can think differently and truly on his feet will always find it difficult to sit and fit as an employee in a workplace, for his attitude & approach towards the work will often hit the ego of most co-workers.”

―

Anuj Somany

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“If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.”

―

honeya

=============

Ok.

I was asked recently about a past job I had where I had struggled to be successful. After hemming and hawing a little <I have never really been sure what hemming or hawing was> I answered “the position required a dedicated navigator with navigator skills and I am a sledgehammer with some navigator vision.”

<note: I didn’t understand that until actually into the role & assumed responsibility>

Yeah.

I am a sledge hammer. Always have been and I assume I always will be.

I respect navigators but they are too slow for my tastes, far too often worried about political correctness and always too skewed toward what is important politically versus ‘what is the right thing to do.’

Ok.

Let me explain navigators and sledge hammers.

In business, there are just some people who see office politics <which all organizations have whether you like it or not> and they have the skills and vision to navigate them to get shit done <they also tend to benefit personally with this skill>.

In business, there are just some people who want to get the right shit done and believe if it is right then … well … it is better to just say ‘damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead’ rather than screw around with navigating people’s feelings and politics.

Now.

That doesn’t mean that sometimes a navigator isn’t more effective and that a navigator, which is tightly associated with someone who can play office politics, is always a corporate whore.

That also doesn’t mean that there aren’t navigators with good moral compasses because there are a shitload of navigator managers who are skilled organizational politicians who do not showcase questionable behavior or even distastefully ‘sucking-up’ behavior.

Pretty much any leader worth a shit takes a realistic approach to managing around workplace politics. This does not mean they are ‘political’, per se, or want to play the political game … it’s just they understand that you have to navigate competing interests, whatever resources may be available, the nuances of what is viewed as authority <and who has the authority … which is most typically “enough to hang yourself’>, the bendable organizational rules and whatever information is available.

And, to be clear, the best of the navigators have a sledge hammer in their tool box <and use it on occasion>.

And, to be clear, the best of the sledge hammers have either some navigational skills or, at minimum, navigational vision <i.e., they can ‘see’ the politics and organizational rubble affecting your path>.

Me?

I am a sledgehammer. I like to get shit done.

Always have and always will.

Okay. I like getting smart shit done. And I really like getting smart ‘right’ shit done.

The nuance between that stuff is clear … if all I did was get shit done, smart & right being set aside, politics and navigating would become almost irrelevant. Because then you are simply a doer <not a thinker or a thinker/doer>.

But even as a sledge hammer you recognize that whether you hate it, admire it, practice it or avoid it, office politics is a fact of life in any organization. And, like it or not, it’s something that you need to understand to insure not only your professional success but the success of the good shit you want to do.

Yeah. Sure.

“Politics” certainly has a negative connotation. It most often refers to strategies people use to seek advantage at the expense of others or the greater good.

In this context, it often adversely affects the working environment and relationships within it.

<and sledge hammers abhor this type of politics bullshit>

I hesitate to suggest there could ever be something called “good office politics” but some organizational expert asshats believe that is the kind of crap you do which helps you fairly promote yourself and your ideas <they call it networking and stakeholder management … I call it the ‘necessary bullshit you just have to suck up and do in order to get good shit done’>.

As a sledge hammer I realized that there were some things that a navigator was good at and I should learn if I wanted to be a more effective sledgehammer.

About the only thing I truly value in a navigator is “social astuteness.” This is the ability to read and anticipate situations – allows you to prepare, adapt and tailor your behavior based on the people and conditions around you.

In my words this is being aware of the people & what they believe and the situation organizationally.

Let’s just call this “context” <at least that is how a sledgehammer views it>.

Now.

Being aware is different than acting upon it. Being aware meant that it prepared me, and my groups, to manage the carnage or consequences of slamming your way straight thru a maze.

As a sledge hammer it pays to understand the real map, or maze, of the organization. Internal politics, more often than not, has little to do with the real organizational chart they give you when you sign on.

Someone outlined this important crap to be aware of really well:

Who are the real influencers?

Who has authority but doesn’t exercise it?

Who is respected?

Who champions or mentors others?

Who is “the brains behind the organization”?

As a sledge hammer I realized there were absolutely some things that were in my control as I bashed my way through the middle of the maze getting to where I believed an idea, or the business at large should go.

But, as a sledge hammer, I also recognized I needed to manage my own behavior <this lesson took some time … and learned thru some painful trial & error>. Through watching others and some painful trial & error you learn what works in your organization’s culture.

But you learn really fast … as in REALLY fast … that as a sledge hammer you invest exactly 0% of your time and 0 energy on:

Gossip & spreading rumors: you learn to shut up and even when you hear something you wait and assess the credibility

interpersonal conflicts – you avoid “like/dislike people” discussions and certainly do not get sucked into arguments

Integrity above all: this is a sledge hammer mantra … be professional, do not cut corners, do things right and always remember the organization’s interests

No complaining: a sledgehammer accepts it will not be easy and you don’t whine about the tough path you have chosen <because it is the path you have chosen>

Confidence: a sledgehammer is assertive not arrogant, proactive maybe edging on aggressive without ever sneaking into aggressiveness

Never personal: a sledge hammer has only one thing in focus … the good of the organization <it is NEVER personal>

Transparency: assume everything is gonna be seen anyway so you may as well share it all

Look.

Here is what I know.

……… whoa … did you guys do THAT ………..

When you are a sledgehammer and everything goes right it is not only the best in the world for you but organizationally everyone kind of goes “whoa, that was something.”

<which is kind of cool and makes it all worthwhile>

I will admit.

Being a sledgehammer is a lonelier way to conduct business than being a navigator. It isn’t that you are not liked nor does it mean you aren’t viewed as a team member at the table but navigators, I tend to believe, are just more social human beings & employees.

But sledge hammers have one thing in common … we are all homesick for an organization where we can not think about anything but getting good smart shit done.

“To quote a British observer of us from some years ago, bear with us, once we have exhausted all possible alternatives, the Americans will do the right thing.”

———–

James Mattis

================

Well.

Throughout my life & career I have crisscrossed the country walking into mechanic shops, retail stores, supermarkets, numerous hotels/motels/inns and bars & restaurants.

I went to a public high school with a mostly agriculture student attendance and went to a college where the Crips and Hoover Family Blood patrolled the edges of the campus <and had a gang member stabbed 75 times in the alley behind my off campus apartment>.

In addition, I have received glimpses into the lives of Americans, rural/suburban/urban, behind the one way mirrors of research and face-to-face… in rural West Virginia & Kentucky, Wyoming, Ohio, Texas, Wisconsin, New York, California, New Mexico, Colorado and … well … pick your home and I have had a glimpse of your life.

I have met the least educated and the most educated <and you most likely would be surprised at how alike they are behind the façade of education> and felt hopeless at the hopelessness of some and found hope in the stories of those who had so much ‘no quit’ in them I felt less than worthy of my own efforts in Life.

I would suggest that what we all have in common in America is maddening. It is the fact we will exhaust all possible alternatives … and then, in most cases, do the right thing.

Love it or hate it … that is what we Americans do.

We are a stubborn folk we Americans. But I tend to believe the ‘exhausting all our alternatives’ is simply the same gauntlet we run time and time again … “I” to “we”.

What? Almost every single person when pushed into a corner <”no one puts Baby into a corner” type attitude> will defend what is possibly the most tried & true American ideal that every American in every corner of the country can pull out of their hip pocket – individual freedom. Freedom to think what I think, freedom to pray like I want to pray, freedom to say what I want to say, freedom to own a gun if I want, freedom to watch, do or go where I want.

Everything begins there.

That is the entrance to the gauntlet. And unlike Dante’s entrance to Hell which says “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate” — most frequently translated as “abandon all hope, ye who enter here” — the American entrance says “this way to something better.”

However, I feel compelled to point out that no matter how much you gussy up a gauntlet … it is still a gauntlet and while it may have some pretty pictures on the walls of the tunnel you are still gonna get the crap kicked out of you.

We don’t take the easy path. That’s just what we do. Despite the fact we talk about common sense or “the simplest is the best” incessantly … America inherently explores all and any alternatives, no matter how painful, until we arrive at what is right.

Mattis reminded me of this.

We never make it easy.

I will note Trump may add a painful dynamic to this characteristic but even without him … we exhaust ourselves as we exhaust all alternatives.

Here is the good news. Our history resides with arriving, ultimately, at the right thing. The arc of our gauntlet tunnel curves toward ‘doing the right thing’ versus ‘doing the wrong thing.’

I imagine my thought for today is twofold.

First is that there is no one person, or class of people, or type of person which ultimately places us in this ‘right thing’ place. This one place is arrived at by the fruits of labor of the many — out of many, one.

The second is that far too often we refer to the ‘many’, people, in demeaning or diminishing terms. We look at people who don’t think the way we do, people who voted for someone else or people who want to do something different than what we want to do as ‘stupid’ or ‘idiots’ or ‘ignorant.’ I can honestly say, having traveled the far corners of America, I would suggest we should maybe see other people as ‘good hearted’ or ‘well intended’ or ‘knows things I don’t know.’

I would also suggest that most people are willing to listen if you are respectful enough to listen to them.

I would also suggest that most people have a story and that story impacts how they think about things and how they decide what should be done with … well … “the we.”

Most people enter the gauntlet with an “I” perspective … even those who fully understand that we are a greater “we.”

We do so because we are part of America which is built upon individual freedoms and each of us value our personal choice. Amusingly <painfully so> it is that individual freedom which permits us the excruciating good conflict that not all the other “I’s” view their individual freedoms the same way. Therefore, the gauntlet is alternative after alternative in which we are painfully bludgeoned into understanding that the “I” makes some compromises for the greater “we”. In addition … we go through the excruciating painful conflict which permits us to see 99% of the other ‘many’ have good hearts, are not really idiots and know shit that we do not know.

We enter the gauntlet as an “I” and come out with a larger respect for the “we.” And it is that gauntlet which hones all the other alternatives into the one alternative which is ‘the right thing.’

Sometimes it helps to remind myself of this.

It helps especially when it doesn’t feel that way … especially when the Warrior Monk, James Mattis, is forced to say it out loud to non-Americans. Because, in my mind, just the fact he has to say it means that we all need to be reminded of it. And, maybe most importantly, as we think about this man … and his words … it permits us to reject the entire concept of “abandon hope all ye who enter” with all of us already who are in this concept called “America.”

Yeah.

It feels painful now. It feels more difficult than it has to be. It feels like there is even less alignment than maybe we had even a year ago.

But maybe it just feels like we are exploring all the alternatives along our way to exhaust all of them n our pursuit to the inevitable – Americans will do the right thing.

Good thought for the day. Well, at least, that is my thought for the day.