Wednesday, April 30, 2014

a momma in the making....thoughts on this growing belly

every morning i wake up and stare at my growing belly. lately that growing belly likes to move, jerk and jump in the mornings. and as soon as i put my hand on my belly to get a better feel she stops. like she knows she is driving her momma crazy. it's amazing how much you can love a growing belly.

this pregnancy has been surprising to say the least. i thought i knew what to expect with pregnancy. i'd done the first few weeks 3 times before...how different could it be? early on i realized how wrong i was. this pregnancy has been amazing, hard, exhausting and beautiful.

even though i've wanted this for years, prayed for this and wished for this....watching my changing body has been difficult. at beautiful as a growing belly is, it's also an adjustment. it's waking up each morning and realizing you can't fit into any of your clothes. it's seeing the chub come back to your face after fighting it off for years. this has been something i've had to work through. at times i get frustrated with myself, i'm supposed to love every minute of pregnancy. i'm supposed to appreciate this beautiful gift and miracle. i'm supposed to feel beautiful despite the extra chub and zits on my face.

in those hard moments my sweet husband reminds me that i am beautiful. that he loves my growing belly and that i do still look great. i can't imagine going through this process without spence. he has been my rock. he holds my hair back when i'm sick (which sadly is still about once a week), he rubs my feet after a long day at work, he makes sure i always have my ice water beside my bed, he makes walgreens runs for tums, he puts up with my constant crazy baby ideas and gets excited with my new nursery designs.

but despite the not so great things about pregnancy (round ligament pain, nausea that won't stop, heart burn for days etc...) pregnancy is the most incredible, beautiful and spiritual thing i have been able to experience. i am so grateful to my heavenly father for this pregnancy. for the chance to experience the good and the bad. to feel what so many before me have felt. and to know my sweet baby girl is on her way...finally!

we are beyond excited to be having a sweet baby girl. we actually found out really early. because it was so early we held off telling anybody, in case we were wrong. after a few more ultrasounds they confirmed again and again it was a baby girl. i was surprised and shocked but so excited. we've been planning and prepping with all things girly and pink. she is our little sweetheart already!

i think the most fun i've had during this pregnancy is seeing the excitement in my cute husband. he loves to feel her kick and move, plan out her nursery, and read her books. he is already the most incredible father. since the boards are over we've jumped into baby prep. crib set up, stroller shopping and car seat looking. it's been fun to experience this together. to make plans and prepare for our new life adventure...together. i can't imagine doing this with anyone else!

so bring on the last trimester. it scares me to death to say that. i can't believe we only have a couple of months left. though we're excited for baby girl....there is still so much to do. we've got baby books to finish, a nursery to complete, a quilt to sew, things to buy and plan for. ready or not.....