The most difficult thing in the world both for parents and children is to separate me from you. It isn’t even a matter of “love”. When our lives are intertwined it is nearly impossible to not want to guide the other person toward a path that is most comfortable for us. We don’t want them to make us unhappy or to complicate our lives…. that often includes their trying to influence us in a positive way (especially during the teen years and young adulthood)…and as you have expressed here, their wanting to make their own decisions about their own lives. There is no magic spell that can transform our relationships to fit perfectly into our mold. In fact, I have never know any family that was conflict free. Never!

One VERY positive aspect of your families behavior is that you can see the end coming. Unlike those who lose their family suddenly without warning in an accident or natural disaster, you can use this time to share as much as you can with your family. You can use this time to build memories traditions etc no matter how small. You can find out how they want to spend the time that remains for them and then help them to be happy (a major gift might just be a walk in the park or a shared cup of tea depending on what makes them happy). I hope you see this in the spirit it is intended. That you will be able to share some moments of joy with them…it might even make them want to extend their time here, but sometimes the pain of staying alive is just too much and people get exhausted with all the medical stuff. Chronic incurable disease can be painful in more ways than one.

I wish you and your family well. I hope you will be able to share some meaningful time together without judgement or conflict. You have my best wishes and deepest empathy.

This poem has been in the works for some time now, it is something of an open wound, that needed to start to heal. I have been taking a huge risk by posting this and others because of all of the support and encouragement I have gotten. To all of you I own a debt of gratitude. For being who are,for your level of trust and honesty. You know who you are, and the rest of you I say just what would you…………