Safe and Sexy

Michael Alarcon

It's Saturday night -- pretty close to midnight -- and the best date you've ever been on is winding down. You're both in the car on your way home, and out of the blue, your date asks if you want to come inside his or her place to watch a video and have a couple beers.

Now we all know that watching a video and having a couple beers is just code for a make-out session with the option of sex, but you've only known this person for a couple of weeks. You really like 'em, and you can see yourself having wild sex with this person even before the opening credits of the movie start scrolling -- but you're firm on your safe-sex-only policy.

So how do you bring up the fact that you're not into full intercourse without protection? Sure, prophylactic talk often kills the vibe, but if you know how to handle the situation, you'll always be safe and sexy.

Timing is Everything "Bringing up the subject of safe sex isn't something you're going to want to mention in passing when you and your partner are already unclothed, in bed and seconds away from intercourse," says Rhona Raskin, sex therapist and author of Ask Me Anything. "It can be an awkward situation, but you have to look for that opportunity [to ask your partner if he or she has condoms on hand]. If they don't, hopefully you will. Either way, don't wait until your body takes over your better judgment."

In other words, if you wait too long to bring up the topic of condoms (or whatever your contraceptive of choice may be), you're going to be so hot and heavy into the foreplay that it would take your parents busting into the room to stop the action. Instead, bring it up no later than when the clothes start coming off.

Say What? So all roads point to the fact that intercourse is in your immediate future. You know there are only a few minutes before your brain's going to shut down and your body will be on automatic sex pilot. You don't want to ask your partner if he or she has any spare condoms lying around and risk breaking the mood -- but you don't want to not ask either.