Bill Cornelius: Teeing off across the North State

For the past three months I have visited the theater at least two or three times a day, six or seven days a week. This has resulted in the inability for me to play golf a couple of times per week, as has been my practice for the past 40 years. In fact, I have only played golf at Wilcox twice in all of calendar year 2017.

If I were to be honest, I would probably admit that the real reason I haven’t played more golf this year is that as a self anointed “exceptional athlete,” I have never been able to accept the fact that I am just about the crappiest golfer I have ever seen. While I at one time was an angry golfer who yearned to be a good golfer, I am now reduced to being an indifferent golfer who only plays for the opportunity to spit and curse and occasionally pass gas amongst good friends.

While I have somehow managed to avoid the mundane experience that comes with my Wednesday game with great friends like John Jennings, Rob Gibbs, Rex Norman and Bob Crane, I did this year participate in two golf tournaments located in faraway lands. Over the last 40 years I have been lucky enough to experience some great times with some really great pals on some really great courses, while leaving life’s trials and tribulations at the Tehama County line.

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The Mountain Trip: About thirty years ago, a group of twelve friends from Wilcox Oaks Golf Club began making a yearly trip to Blairsden, California where we stayed in condominiums and for three days hacked our way around the golf course at Plumas Pines, Graeagle, White Hawk and The Dragon.

Unfortunately, after a couple of decades Jim Blaksley passed away, Ed King moved away, and Rolland Papdendick just plain tired out; so about five years ago the Mountain Trip officially became a thing of the past…but boy, did we have some great times. And that’s all I am allowed to say.

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The Sunriver Golf Trip: A quarter century ago close friends Tom and Rosemary Amundson purchased a beautiful four-bedroom vacation home in Sunriver, Oregon, smack dab in the middle of some of the best golf courses on earth. It was only logical that Sunriver would soon play host to a rag-tag group of Tehama County golfers on an annual basis.

For the first few years, the trip was made primarily by the mountain golf group. Tom Amundson, however, is a particularly social animal, so over the years the group expanded to include such notable golfers as Al Lengtat, Doug Sale, Todd Ross, Pete Peterson, Bob Stoufer, Devin Leitem, JB Stacy, Jerry Stephens, Bill Tharp, Mark Columbo, Bill Ellison, and others from out of town.

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I remember the year we were short a player, so Tom picked up a one-armed hitchhiker who had never played the game. Losing to 22 other golfers was something I expected, but losing to that one-armed hitchhiker was almost more than I could take. As with the mountain trip, life has since intervened, and the Sunriver trip is a thing of the past.

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The Coastal Golf Trip: Several weeks ago I, along with Billie, Larry and Trish Jantzen, Bruce Sale, Al Lengtat, and Joe and Missy Dominick, made our annual trip to the Baywood Country Club in Eureka where for about 30 years we have participated in the Coastal Business Systems Golf Tournament hosted by Mike and Mary Dominick.

This is the one trip the wives look forward to, as while Larry and I are getting our brains beat out on the golf course they are out spending our children’s inheritance in every specialty shop from Fortuna to Trinidad.

Our hosts take care of everything from golf to smoked oysters, Cuban cigars and 100-year-old scotch. In spite of no longer being a factor on the golf course, this is a trip we will continue make as long we are invited to attend; Great people, Mike and Mary Dominick.

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The Stoveeny Golf Trip: This tournament, held just last weekend, was born about a decade ago when two-time Super Bowl champion Jeff Stover and his Chico pal Brian Sweeny combined forces to create the very first Stoveeny Open.

Each year Stover and Sweeny invite 16 of their closest friends to spend a couple three days at their palatial estates sitting on the shores of beautiful Lake Almanor. Most years, Red Bluff participants include myself, my son Cabe, Tom Amundson and Larry Jantzen.

In addition to 27 holes of golf each day, participants also compete for cash prizes in bocce ball, horseshoes, and the extremely challenging sport of cornhole. This is one tournament where being an exceptional athlete definitely comes in handy.

The coolest thing about the Stoveeny Open is that for three days each autumn, sixteen middle aged guys who in real life are bankers, retired athletes, rice farmers, investment brokers, broken down old probation officers, pizza parlor owners, etc., whose lives seldom otherwise intersect, get together where for a few days at least they become best friends while eating too much, drinking too much, swapping lies too much, and not giving a damn about what’s going on in the rest of the world.

Come to think of it, my love of golf really has very little to do with getting a little ball into a too-small hole, but rather the friendships I nourish every time I step on the course.

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Coming to the State Theatre: October 15 — Operation Finally Home Welcomes American Stories Tour With Craig Morgan. October 27- Lorrie Morgan with Jessie Keith Whitley. Further information at www.statetheatreredbluff.com.

Bill Cornelius is a life long resident of Red Bluff, a retired Chief Probation Officer, a champion of the State Theatre and an exceptional athlete. He can be reached at bill.cornelius@sbcglobal.net.