Entertainment

Are you a dog, cat or bird? Quick, someone's about to make out with you.

Would you say you're most like a dog, cat or bird? Decide fast. You're about to get a stamp on your skin.

The question sounds simple, but the answer is loaded — with sexual permission, to be exact. Your chosen animal indicates your level of sexual consent.

This is an average night at a 2nd Base makeout party.

The event is part of a communicative consensual movement helping to create more structure in the world of intimate, often sexual, parties. Because of the slightly taboo nature of these parties, and the range of interests they indulge in, consent is an evolving tool in ensuring safe fun and attracting new participants.

At this makeout party, those who say they are dogs indicate they are open to being approached and touched; cats must be asked before things are initiated; birds are the most selective in choosing and do not welcome direct advances. But animals are free to evolve.

Ruby Rogers, founder of an organization called Sustainable Hedonism, incorporates this visual code into her 2nd Base makeout parties.

Image: Kimba Rose

"I was getting really tired of having to assert that I just wanted to fool around and that I keep having to be like, 'No, no, no,' because people don't really believe you when you're like, 'I just want to make out,'" Rogers tells Mashable. But with the animal code, Rogers assures the predatory aspect is taken away. People are supported in whatever they like, or more importantly, don't like.

About a year ago, she borrowed the pre-negotiated boundaries from community cuddler and founder of House of Young Cuddle Club, David Pullman.

In 2004, Pullman left his cuddling friends in Eugene, Oregon when he moved to the Bay Area. When he tried to start a new cuddle club, his California friends were weirded out by the idea that anyone might touch them against their will. Pullman's answer to the lack of structure was the dog-cat-bird system.

"That gave everyone sort of more control and a feeling of safety around coming into these," he tells Mashable. " It's very effective in giving people some choice as to how to participate in these events, especially if they're new to it. [With the code], they're not just throwing themselves to the wolves."

Pullman finds the vibe of a play party depends on its rules and facilitation.

Codes of conduct are tried and true methods of safety in these sex-positive social events, often borrowing notions from the kink scene, such as safe words and color-coding from stoplight parties. Other types of parties create their own set of codes; some use supervisors, for example, halo-wearing angels who check up on guests. Some put more emphasis on linguistics and catchphrases.

Polly Superstar, founder of the sex-positive party Kinky Salon, tells Mashable, "Human beings so far in our history had this structured understanding of sexuality and relationships. There was one model: man and woman," she says. "And now...we have this new potential of where we can go."

Image: Kimba Rose

Every 2nd Base party hosts a speaker who works with a sex-positive topic. This Valentine's Day will welcome self-labelled consent enthusiast Kate "Sassy" Sassoon and a set of consent ground rules called Safe Space, which she hopes people use in and out of the party-sphere.

With consent training and the animal stamp system, guests don't need to awkwardly small talk or be afraid of offending someone, Sassy says.

The evening event, which runs from around 7 p.m. to midnight, will begin with music. Guests, who must be 18 or older, are welcomed to go upstairs, which Rogers calls a "snuggly cocoon" covered with satin, or downstairs, which she calls more "wild." Often, people share skills, such as rope bondage. The parties are BYOB, but a juice bar is provided for those who wish to stay sober.

Unlike other play parties, 2nd Base keeps to its name and stops action from going below the belt. The rule is no genital contact between participants.

"It's great to have a space for beginners, if you've never opened up your relationship or been in a group situation or ever encountered anything from this culture," Rogers says. "Before, there's not a lot in between a no-sex intimacy and touch snuggle party and an orgy for you to practice your skills."

There are a vast range of these play parties, or what Sassy compares to flavors in an ice cream shop.

Mashable
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