Was that weariness in the Monarch’s gait as, steered by Prince Philip, she left the House of Lords? Normally she looks the perkier of the two but yesterday she seemed more pale, more fragile, than her consort.

He, as ever, maintained a terrific, tooth-grinding, garden-tortoise grimace as he listened to the ephemeral terms the politicians made her utter.

‘Modernise’ this, ‘reform’ that. What they mean is ‘tweak’, ‘twiddle around with’, or in the case of House of Lords changes, ‘let them moulder in the larder’.

Weary: Unusually, the Queen seemed more fragile than her consort Prince Phillip

State Openings begin with serene ceremony, end with Commons squabbles.

The contrast is accentuated by the fact that drinks parties are held at lunchtime on this gala day. I used to be invited to such beanos but the stiffies have withered. Plenty of MPs continue to have a lunchtime gargle, though. Lucky devils.

Full regalia: Prince Philip in his splendid array of medals and finery as the Queen spoke

The Lords was bright-washed by arc lights whose beams pinged back off the wicket, reflected by tiaras. The peers’ wives. For the first time, peers’ husbands were also admitted to the spouses’ benches. One low-cut bosom apart – well advanced in years, it wobbled enormously – the sartorial turnout was okay. Lady Strathclyde, wife of Lords Leader Tom, was a study in understated elegance: a dress of apricot pink worn with long gloves whiter than a snooker referee’s.

No Lady Thatcher this year. First
time she has been absent. On the Bishops’ bench, London was accompanied
by Durham (worth placing a bob on him for Canterbury). The Supreme Court
judges were present.

Why?
They removed themselves from Parliament. Typical lawyers. Flounce off
to a swanky new building but still nab the best seats on Parliament’s
big day.

Princess Anne (Gold Stick in Waiting) took the rosette in the Gilbert & Sullivan class.

She wore a Nelsonian cap which was pure HMS Pinafore. The Lord Chancellor, Ken Clarke, could have been Fred Basset in his full-bottomed wig. He chose not to reverse down the steps after presenting the Queen with her text. Lord Stirrup, with the hefty Sword of State, swayed like a Japanese skyscraper.

Waiting for Her Majesty: Ermine-clad peers pass the Tic-Tacs and make last-minute adjustments to make-up while waiting for the Queen's arrival

Floorcrosser Lord (Quentin) Davies, who was bunged his peerage after defecting to Gordon Brown’s Labour from the Tories, scuttled here and there. Arguably a one-man advert for Lords reform, that fellow.

Lord Mancroft (Con) blew a kiss to Viscount Falkland (Lib Dem). Lord Dobbs (Con) sat on the floor. Viscount Linley and his cool wife watched from upstairs while their son Charles, 12, earned his corn as a page of honour. Lord Ahmed (Lab) networked.

Lunch. A scattering of dry feed for your sketchwriter, more liquid sustenance for Hon Members. The breeze acquired a tang of supermarket amontillado.

Pure HMS Pinafore: Princess Anne wore a Nelsonian cap

By the time the Commons reconvened at 2.30pm, the brakes were off. Speaker Bercow made – schoolboy error – a long speech telling MPs to behave in the coming year. They should wear their security passes and generally be good boys and girls. The House, refreshed, was soon giving him the bird. Many MPs openly laughed at him.

Honorary speeches from Nadhim Zahawi (Con, Stratford-on-Avon) and Malcolm Bruce (Lib Dem, Gordon). Mr Zahawi’s family fled Iraq at the start of Saddam’s terrors and arrived in Britain with just £50. Now he is an MP and a fair one at that. David Cameron praised his speech. He said when he heard who was going to make it he initially thought it was ‘Nadine’ (as in his tormentor Nadine Dorries). Long laughter.

Edward Miliband did fine at the start but slowly the delight on Labour faces faded. Maybe the drink was wearing off. Mr Miliband ran out of puff when it came to debating the economy. Louise Mensch (Con, Corby) asked him how he intended to finance his many promises. Nae answer. Mr Cameron cruised it. He suppressed his inner Flashman and when he sat down – after accusing Labour of taking a ‘carry on claiming’ attitude to welfare spongers – he was a man who has regained control. For a few days at least.