An online journal of Mannie Gentile, a National Park Service Park Ranger working on the National Mall in our nation's capital.
DISCLAIMER: please note that this blog represents only my views and not those of the National Park Service.
Feel free to email me at: museumofamerica@myactv.net

Monday, February 18, 2008

I salute the worst Civil War movie ever made

The cool thing about "Gods and Generals" is that not only is it the worst Civil War movie ever made, it's also the worst movie ever made. Finally I've found a movie that is worse than "Adventures in Babysitting", " The Dirtbike Kid", and "Oscar"...combined!

This crazy five or six or nineteen hour slog through poor direction, Jeff Daniels' larger-than-life jowels, and slaveocracy apologia is the nearest thing to purgatory on earth, even for this non-beliver!

Do note Steven Lang's portrayal as Forest Gump in the Christmas Eve scene.

A friend loaned this movie to me with the caution that it's a stinker, which I was fully aware of as I viewed half of it in the theater when it was first released (I left at intermission).

Above is my impression of fascist Francisco Franco's salute to a really stinky piece of bogus history.

With Boo Radly in the background giving his interpretation of Robert Duvall's impression of R.E.Lee's take on reality according to director Ron Maxwell I can only exhort...

8 comments:

I tried a couple of weeks ago to write down some of the really bad dialogue in this movie; but in the meeting between Jackson and Jeb Stuart the lines were coming so fast I couldn't keep up. When me and my wife saw this motion picture at the movie theater we kept waiting for Jackson to die. All through the last half hour I kept saying over and over again "just say the words, just say the words". ("Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees", supposedly Jackson's last words.) It seemed like that line would never come. Until Paris Hilton makes a Civil War movie this will have to be the worst.

Actually "Alvarez Kelly" is pretty disappointing also. Take a great story like the Great Beefsteak Raid and turn it into a lame love triangle. As a bonus Richard Widmark portrays Tom Rosser with an eye patch like a pirate!

C'mon Mannie. You have to give Stephen Lang his props. Jackson's part was very inspirational from a Christian POV. However, I'll admit the overall product was a bit overdone and Chamberlain's Shakespearian rant before the battle was very hoaky. However, to a devout Christian-Confederate enthusiast like myself, battle flags and bible scripture, recalling historical places and events in the town that I live in (Fredericksburg) was a great way to spend 5 hours. We Civil War bible-thumpers loved it and the rest of the world didn’t. Perhaps Maxwell should have released it in the church community. I would still love to see the Director’s cut which included your battlefield at Antietam too. That should never have been cut. Either way to each his own. BTW: Great helmet!

.

I'm a Park Ranger on the National Mall in Washington DC. I'm very proud and fortunate to be working at such a significant place and to be sharing this magnificent resource with visitors from around the world.

About Mannie

I'm fortunate to have married the love of my life. In that, I am a very lucky fellow. Otherwise I live in Washington County in western Maryland in a little house on the shoulder of South Mountain.
Other stuff from me here: http://manniesartimitateslife.blogspot.com/