It was really hot today. And by hot, I mean 100+ degrees F outside. In fact, it’s supposed to be in the high 100s and mid-70s at night for the next five days. That’s a whole lot of ridiculousness. Yuck. So my goal for the next week is to not use the kitchen. At all. Okay, so that’s a slight exaggeration. I’d like to not turn on the stove or oven. The PG&E bill is already going to be out of control. I’m scared. But I digress.

So to continue on with smoking some more meat, I threw on a maple-brined turkey breast while my brisket was also smoking. Uhm. Oh. Holy. Chopsticks. Why haven’t I ever smoked a turkey breast, let alone a turkey before?! The smell and taste of the smoked turkey was intoxicating. It was just pure deliciousness. I am now a firm believer that turkey should never be consumed unless smoked. Tomorrow, sandwiches. Thanksgiving, here we come!

Place turkey breast in a large stock pot, and add just enough water to cover. Place all ingredients into the stock pot, and stir until well incorporated. Cover and refrigerate for at least 12 to 24 hours.

Heat the Big Green Egg (or smoker of your choice) until it reaches a stable temperature of 225 degrees F. Add the wood chips when the coals are hot. Place a disposable drip pan underneath the turkey. Cook the turkey, skin side up, until the internal temperature is 160 degrees F (about 1 hour per pound).

Remove from the smoker, wrap with foil, and place in an empty ice chest to allow the juices to redistribute.

It’s been a while since I’ve fired up the Big Green Egg, and not to mention, my blog. I have no excuses. Just pure laziness. Oh, actually, I do have one excuse. I’ve been cheating on my blog with my newly upgraded and sexy ukulele. She’s a beautiful, solid koa wood concert ukulele, made in Hawai’i. She is definitely bright and sassy! We’ve been playing The Muppet’s Rainbow Connection together. I wonder what we’ll play next?

I finally got the creative itch to cook something on the Big Green Egg. My original goal was to smoke a brisket on July 4th, but I just never got around to buying the brisket. This time I wasn’t going to let laziness or my ukulele get in the way. I bought an insane amount of meat yesterday in preparation for grilling and smoking today. Today was a good day.

Remove the brisket from the refrigerator and allow it to come to room temperature, about one hour. Pat the brisket dry with a paper towel. Rub the dry rub over the brisket until well coated. Set aside.

Heat the Big Green Egg (or smoker of your choice) until it reaches a stable temperature of 225 degrees F. Add the wood chips when the coals are hot. Place a disposable drip pan underneath the brisket. Cook the brisket, fat side up, until the internal temperature is 150 degrees F (about 1 hour and 15 minutes per pound). Baste the brisket with a few sprays of apple juice after 3 hours on the smoker to keep it moist.

Remove from the smoker, and wrap tightly with foil. Cook at the same temperature until internal temperature is 185 degrees F (about 3 to 4 hours).

Once the brisket is done, put the brisket in an insulated ice chest lined with aluminum foil. Close it for at least one hour for the juices to redistribute. The meat will hold its heat for hours in the chest, and the brisket will become even more tender. I do not suggest leaving the brisket in the cooler for more than 3 hours to prevent bacteria growth.

1. Pharmacists can do more than lick and stick.
2. Pharmacists have a long duration of action.
3. Pharmacists Rx rated.
4. Pharmacists find new routes of administration.
5. Pharmacists do it over the counter.
6. Pharmacists are patient lovers.
7. Pharmacists accept third parties.
8. Pharmacists have a quick reconstitution time.
9. Pharmacists do it without breaks.
10. You will want no substitution.

[Kinda funny or kinda geeky? Or maybe only pharmacists find this funny because we’re so geeky? :)]

So do you love Almond Joys but hate that all that fake, processed chocolate and sugar? Or tired of spending well over a dollar for one measly Larabar? Well, go buy the ingredients or bring them out of your kitchen pantry and give this prescription a try. And if you have this prescription filled now, you’ll get homemade Larabars within less than a few hours. No wait times, and no pharmacist consultations. So what are you waiting for? Stop gawking at food porn and make some of these already. Go on.

Soak the medjool dates in warm water for 30 minutes. Drain and set aside.

Add the soaked dates, raw almonds, cacao chips, shredded coconut, and chia seeds into a food processor. Pulse until no chunks remain. Scrape the bowl down if it begins to clump. [This required a lot of patience. I may process the raw almonds first separately, followed by the cacao chips until coarsely ground. Then the medjool dates so it is not so chunky.]

Line a 9×13 inch pan with parchment paper. Press the mixture into the pan using your hands and/or spatula.

Refrigerate for 2 hours for it to set. Slice into desired size and store in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. [This recipe yields delicious homemade Larabars that are simply to die for. You won’t want to freeze them. I know because, well, I came up with ridiculously amazing concoction :)]

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