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Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Case of the Missing Shoes

It started out like every other Sunday evening shift at the club. The coffee was brewing and I was nursing my hangover with a cold glass of seltzer. The host told my co-worker that a performer from the night before had inexplicably tossed her shoes into the trash can and he thought Lo might wanna try them on seeing that Lo likes shoes and he happened to know they were her size. Of course, Lo wanted to try them on. She looked at the shoes that had been retrieved from the dressing room trash can and saw that they looked barely worn. A closer inspection by shoe aficionado Lo told us that these were some Italian shoes by a designer named Vera somebody or other. Like a scene from Cinderella, they slid onto her foot perfectly and Lo walked around the bar modeling her new found designer shoes."Why in the hell would someone throw away perfectly good shoes like this?" wondered Lo."Who knows," the host replied. "Maybe she just bought them for her performance and she realized they were uncomfortable and didn't want then anymore once the show was over.""Well her loss is my gain!" Lo so loved her new shoes.The first show went off without a hitch. Lo had begrudgingly changed back into her sensible work shoes and we served our customers with glee and satisfaction. We had about 45 minutes before we needed to be ready for the next show so we used the time to go grab some lunch. As I was eating my chicken burrito from Chipotle, the host came running down the stairs. Out of breath, he whispers to me, "Where's Lo???""She went to that salad place down the street.""Where's her bag??""I dunno, I guess she has it with her. Why?""The performer for the second show is upstairs and she wants to know if we have seen her shoes! Call Lo! Tell her to get those shoes here pronto." He ran back upstairs and moments later I saw the performer come down the stairs heading to the dressing room. She was looking around for something and I pretended not to notice. She could look all she wants, but her shoes were at Just Salads right now and might even be on the feet of waitress that is soon to be very disappointed. I took another bite of my burrito and shrugged.

About five minutes later the host came down the stairs holding the missing shoes. I watched him go to the dressing room and I heard a woman's voice say, "Well, where were they?" The host answered, "I found them in the coat closet. Don't know how they got there." Following an awkward laugh, he came out of the dressing room wiping his brow, smiling and went back upstairs. One minute later, Lo comes down the stairs with a salad and sad look on her face. "My shoes are gone. That sucks."

So how did the shoes end up in the trash can in the first place? All we can assume is that the woman who went into the dressing room the night before threw away the shoes of the performer who had gone before her. We don't know why and we can't be certain. All we know for sure is that it was lucky the shoes weren't covered in hummus and leftover spinach dip. It was lucky that the host even spotted them in the trash can and it was lucky that they fit Lo or else they would have gone right back into said trash can.

The performer exited her dressing room, Lo's shoes securely on her feet, and did her show. The rest of the evening was fine but I am pretty sure I saw Lo eying those shoes with envy a couple of times.

The moral of the story: if you ever leave your shoes somewhere, don't assume that they didn't get worn by a waitress and then put into her bag and carried three blocks away so the waitress could eat lunch at Just Salads. It's unlikely, but it could happen.

i would have kept them.. you know how much money i have made on ebay from "leftover" jackets, coats etc,... lets just say i have a very nice ebay business going..(i give it the 24 hour rule though. after that its all mine.