Monday, February 16, 2009

Love without Expectation

Being a romantic, idealistic personality puts me in a position to be disappointed frequently. I have high ideals of what life should be (difficult to live up to) and then I get pictures in my brain of what holidays should look like and how folks should respond to my set of ideals. But having a husband, four kids, and a dog, I am figuring out that if I lower my expectations, I will not be disappointed too often.

Usually for Valentine's Day, I plan a beautiful meal, purchase small gifts, and make cards for everyone. I set the table with the good china, decorate in red, pink, and white, and light candles. Sometimes we play music and once, when the first two very very small, we even danced after dinner to love songs. Pretty pictures, huh?

Well, this year we started out making Valentine's on Monday, but some of us didn't finish (me). Wednesday, we decided that rather than cook something fancy, we would opt for something everyone liked and the kids picked tacos. None of this was painting a very pretty picture for me, but it was definitely making life simple.

Then on Friday, I was in Wal-Mart with Alex and this is how the conversation went:

Me: Should I pick up Valentine candy for everyone?

Alex: Why?

Me: Because I always do. I haven't bought any yet.

Alex: No, we don't need any candy. Didn't we make heart cookies already?

Me (spying the heart shaped balloons for less than a buck): Well, should I at least get the little kids a balloon?

Alex: No, it will just aggravate us when it gets caught in the ceiling fan.

So I didn't purchase anything extra for Valentine's, we ate tacos on an undecorated table, and I never did finish my Valentine's. We even laughed at Alex as he passed out his Valentine's in no particular order since he didn't make them for specific people. That kid can make me crazy some days, but he marches to his own beat. He had a point when he asked, "Who said we have to show our love for people on February 14 any way?"

But then I received a neat surprise. My sweet husband, whose memory isn't always the greatest and who rarely plans ahead, gave me roses, candy, and a card.