The Best Exercises For Sex

How To Exercise If All You Care About Is Sex

Whimpering at the ‘escalator out – use stairs’ sign, you’re weighed down by your smartphone bolted to your size 40s, Big Gulp, and 30lbs you’ll lose next year. Finally reaching your second floor office location, you see her.

She smiles, winks, and says “Hey you.” You muster a wave and only breathe out a “heyadoin”, because your legs are jelly and your cardio sucks. You both know it – if you ever get there, you’re going to be crap in bed. Here’s eight ways to change it around via exercise:

Skip The Bench - And Push Up

If your chest hangs like airport wind socks on a calm day, then firm it up. Arnie pecs aren’t required, but a tight chest can be a sexy thing. Avoid heavy bench presses because push ups are a classic, versatile exercise for the gym, home, and on the road. They are a compound exercise, so you’re also taxing your triceps. Push ups emulate the missionary position, benefitting when she’s stroking your chest while your triceps soldier the effort as you reveal your orgasmic, moose face.

Get Involved With Cardio

During quality sex the heart is pumping, so cardiovascular health matters. Distance run for those long and slow love making sessions. Run trails, sprints, and the stairs for those intense and passionate sessions. Row, swim, skip rope, or bike — just find something you enjoy to get the heart pumping and the blood flowing.

Be Flexible

Ever had sex with a yoga instructor? It’s varied. It’s unique. It’s amazing. Yoga-esque sex proves there’s a lot more to sex than missionary, her on top, and from behind. Yoga. It ain’t just for women. Yoga breeds flexibility, then it only leaves the rest to your bedroom imagination.

Don’t Forget Your Back

Just ‘cause you can’t see it in the mirror doesn’t mean you don’t have to train it. Women love a hug, and you know damn well they’ll have their arms wrapped around you in the sack — so work your back. Pull ups, lat pull downs, and dumbbell rows are just a few (of many) exercises to build back strength. If you’re a desk jockey, these are especially important to avoid (and repair) kyphotic back posture.

Get Ass To Get Ass

You love ass, and women love yours just the same, so start doing deadlifts. Beefed up gym bros that strut like they’re hauling kettlebells under their pits often forget about two important things – their legs. Deadlifts train your legs, namely the hamstrings, glutes (butt), lower back, and more. Within the posterior chain deadlifts are king of the exercise castle, sculpting you one hell of a rump.

Build Your Core

Bedroom thrusting stems from suitable core strength, so if you’re soft in the mid-section, sex is going to be like pounding a nail with a slice of ham. Perform planks and side planks, leg raises, sit ups, bike crunches, and many more exercises to build core stability and strength. You’ll soon be pushing slow… thrusting hard… to your partner’s delight.

Fuel Your Workouts

Build a lean, healthy body by getting serious in the kitchen. Protein, greens, more water and less booze with sugary, processed bullshit – a nourished body is ready for sex.

Release Your Penis

All arteries are connected, so the same clogging and blockage of your heart’s arteries occurs in your pants. Executing in the gym and kitchen creates a clean, heart-healthy, and fit body, providing blood flow from head to toe. Get fit. Get healthy. And you’ll see your Johnson standing at attention, free of ED with no need for Viagra.

The above is to enhance your lovin’ - not about porn star performance. Exercise and healthy eating, is about you feeling better, looking better… with increased confidence to please your partner (and yourself) during romantic interludes or naughty nights with a few too many wines.

Between the tongue firmly placed in this article’s cheek, there’s no doubting this – the message is important because sex is healthy and sex is fun. And rest easy, as you don’t have to get (f**king) ripped (dude) to improve performance in the sack, but if you get your body moving in the gym with consistency and commitment, you and your partner will reap the rewards. I know the journey, because I used to be that chubby, corporate slacker – finding fitness and health is a happier, better life with more potent and satisfying sex.

Originally from Chicago, Michael Jarosky is an author, newspaper columnist, and personal trainer now based in Sydney, Australia. Get his book SWIPE – The Game has Changed, which chronicled one year on Tinder. You can email him at MJSwipe@gmail.com.