Nerd article: letters

Dear my beloved and heart’s most precious desire, Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. If that did not melt your heart or give you Arrhythmia then – I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock! Since the day your reckless neon orange flip flops (which have recently become my most preferred choice of coloring in thoughtless footwear) blinded my eyes and made me fall on my parietal bone, I have been thinking of you incessantly. By the way, flip flops can cause inflammation and pain along your beautiful soles, ankles, and heels. It’s because it stretches your plantar fascia – but do not worrying, my love, our love plus my dreams of becoming a successful podiatrist will heal your aching feet. After surrendering to your seductive beauty and intelligence, I’ve been following you around campus, observing your goddess-like personality from afar. Furthermore, I’ve come to realize that your attractive abilities have given me symptoms of Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) and Flatulence (excessive gas production). Doodling your name over and over in my notebook, replacing your last name with mine, then putting our last names together, then trying out our last names with the names of our future children, (even though I never needed to) I can’t concentrate during my AP Spanish lectures anymore. Nowadays I constantly fall asleep during classes and envision us dissolving methanol to create alcohol flames in neon orange: our neon orange. After realizing you, my darling, were the first to capture my heart, I’ve learned how to say the word “Love” in every language in the world, even endangered ones such as Manchu, Aka-Jeru creole, and Hulung. But I have yet to learn the language of love… and I hope that you can teach me. My sweetheart, I’m sure that there’ll be one day, in which we can walk side by side, interlinking our fingers, and chat about superior science that bamboozles the minds of everyday scientists. Typing your name in my TI-89, watching you eat during lunch, and even salvaging your used tissues, I can’t resist the strong temptation to run to your side and examine your cute little feet. You are the light of my life. You are my true love. You are my numero uno.

Letter to a nerd: how to get over rejectionsDear Nerd, Although I’m sure rejections rarely happen to cool nerds like you, here are a few tips on how to get over rejections. First and foremost, the main way you can get over rejections is to do homework and study for tests. This is because it diverts your attention to something else – something you love to do! Discovering new math formulas and learning new languages will definitely get your distressed little head back into the happy-go-lucky zone. If your rejection causes major stress, go on a shooting spree… no, not killing, shooting fake targets. Not only is it a massive amount of fun, it’s also not dangerous at all! Letting off some steam on a fake target will help you slowly get over the rejection and also benefit to your aiming ability and hand-eye coordination. Another good way to get over a harsh rejection is to drink! Whether its plain fruit juice or even some good old H2O, cool fluids aid in relaxing your brain and also help you by hydrating your body. If drinking really isn’t your thing, then go ahead and eat a big, delicious, mouthwatering, scrumptious chocolate bar. Chocolate has been proven to be one of the most popular things that people turn to when it comes to love. Due to its delicious, sweet flavor and creamy texture, it fills the empty hearts of all recently rejected nerds. After all that darn refreshing liquids and yummy chocolate, you’d probably be pretty darn high. Well, might as well use up all that energy and burn all the calories by going to a super dance party! Practicing carpe diem and releasing all your worries will definitely transform your gloomy mood to a totally joyful feeling. Bring a couple of friends and dance the night away. Just don’t stay out too late, you crazy kids! You can also fill in the empty gap in your heart by spending more time with the one and only person that can fill the sad little hole with tons of love – your mother! Play some chess with her or take her to your local library for some quite mother-nerd bonding. Even talk to her about your recent rejection and let her give you one of those embarrassing but motivating “you’re too good for her” talks. Like the saying, there’s no better time then spending time with your mommy. If you were recently rejected, try these tips. If your friend was recently rejected, then offer some of these tips to them, and make sure they are properly completed to see best outcome (results may vary). Good luck on getting over future rejections.

Dear my beloved and heart’s most precious desire,Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. If that did not melt your heart or give you Arrhythmia then – I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock! Since the day your reckless neon orange flip flops (which have recently become my most preferred choice of coloring in thoughtless footwear) blinded my eyes and made me fall on my parietal bone, I have been thinking of you incessantly. By the way, flip flops can cause inflammation and pain along your beautiful soles, ankles, and heels. It’s because it stretches your plantar fascia – but do not worrying [either "no worrying" or "not worry"], my love, our love plus my dreams of becoming a successful podiatrist will heal your aching feet. After surrendering to your seductive beauty and intelligence, I’ve been following you around campus, observing your goddess-like personality from afar. Furthermore, I’ve come to realize that your attractive abilities have given me symptoms of Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) and Flatulence (excessive gas production). Doodling your name over and over in my notebook, replacing your last name with mine, then putting our last names together, then trying out our last names with the names of our future children, (even though I never needed to) I can’t concentrate during my AP Spanish lectures anymore. Nowadays I constantly fall asleep during classes and envision us dissolving methanol to create alcohol flames in neon orange: our neon orange. After realizing [insert "that"] you, my darling, were the first to capture my heart, I’ve learned how to say the word “Love” ["love"] in every language in the world, even endangered ones such as Manchu, Aka-Jeru creole, and Hulung. But I have yet to learn the language of love… and I hope that you can teach me. My sweetheart, I’m sure that there’ll be one day, in which we can walk side by side, interlinking our fingers, and chat about superior science that bamboozles the minds of everyday scientists. Typing your name in my TI-89, watching you eat during lunch, and even salvaging your used tissues, I can’t resist the strong temptation to run to your side and examine your cute little feet [kinda...fetishy...]. You are the light of my life. You are my true love. You are my numero uno.

Letter to a nerd: how to get over rejectionsDear Nerd, Although I’m sure rejections rarely happen to cool nerds like you, here are a few tips on how to get over rejections. First and foremost, the main way you can get over rejections is to do homework and study for tests. This is because it diverts your attention to something else – something you love to do! Discovering new math formulas and learning new languages will definitely get your distressed little head back into the happy-go-lucky zone. If your rejection causes major stress, go on a shooting spree… no, not killing, shooting fake targets. Not only is it a massive amount of fun, it’s also not dangerous at all! Letting off some steam on a fake target will help you slowly get over the rejection and also benefit to your aiming ability and hand-eye coordination. [mm...this is really random...why would nerds go shoot fake targets? at first, i thought this was going to be like a "play computer games" kinda thing...i think you should do that, like 'play first-person shooter games' like...idk...Halo...Starcraft...Counter-Strike?]Another good way to get over a harsh rejection is to drink [...LOL you gotta be careful...i know i'm not the only one who will think this way...but it sounded like you were encouraging underage drinking...LOL maybe say something like 'chug some fluids'...LOL idk man]! Whether its plain fruit juice or even some good old H2O, cool fluids aid in relaxing your brain and also help you by hydrating your body. If drinking really isn’t your thing, then go ahead and eat a big, delicious, mouthwatering, scrumptious chocolate bar. Chocolate has been proven to be one of the most popular things that people turn to when it comes to love. Due to its delicious, sweet flavor and creamy texture, it fills the empty hearts of all recently rejected nerds. After all that darn refreshing liquids and yummy chocolate, you’d probably be pretty darn high [mm...again with the double meanings]. Well, might as well use up all that energy and burn all the calories by going to a super dance party! Practicing carpe diem and releasing all your worries will definitely transform your gloomy mood to a totally joyful feeling. Bring a couple of friends and dance the night away. Just don’t stay out too late, you crazy kids! [this doesn't seem like something specific to 'nerds.' maybe, a DDR party will seem more...realistic?]You can also fill in the empty gap in your heart by spending more time with the one and only person that can fill the sad little hole with tons of love – your mother! Play some chess with her or take her to your local library for some quite [quiet] mother-nerd bonding. Even [Maybe even] talk to her about your recent rejection and let her give you one of those embarrassing but motivating “you’re too good for her” talks. Like the saying, there’s no better time then [than] spending time with your mommy. If you were recently rejected, try these tips. If your friend was recently rejected, then offer some of these tips to them, and make sure they are properly completed to see best outcome (results may vary). Good luck on getting over future rejections..

For the second 'letter' about tips for the nerds, it shouldn't be a letter. It seems sorta a waste of the format because it's not really...a letter...The first one is a good use of the letter format, though!

Dear my beloved and heart’s most precious desire, Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. If that did not melt your heart or give you Arrhythmia then – I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock!

Since the day your reckless neon orange flip flops (which have recently become my most preferred choice of coloring in thoughtless footwear) blinded my eyes and made me fall on my parietal bone, I have been thinking of you incessantly. By the way, flip flops can cause inflammation and pain along your beautiful soles, ankles, and heels. It is because it stretches your plantar fascia – but do not worry, my love, our love plus my dreams of becoming a successful podiatrist will heal your aching feet.

After surrendering to your seductive beauty and intelligence, I have been following you around campus, observing your goddess-like personality from afar. Furthermore, I have come to realize that your attractive abilities have given me symptoms of Hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) and Flatulence (excessive gas production).

Doodling your name over and over in my notebook, replacing your last name with mine, then putting our last names together, then trying out our last names with the names of our future children, (even though I never needed to) I cannot concentrate during my AP Spanish lectures anymore. Nowadays I constantly fall asleep during classes and envision us dissolving methanol to create alcohol flames in neon orange: our neon orange.

After realizing that you, my darling, were the first to capture my heart, I have learned how to say the word "love" in every language in the world, even endangered ones such as Manchu, Aka-Jeru creole, and Hulung. But I have yet to learn the language of love… and I hope that you can teach me. My sweetheart, I am sure that there will be one day, in which we can walk side by side, interlinking our fingers, and chat about superior science that bamboozles the minds of everyday scientists.

Typing your name in my TI-89, watching you eat during lunch, and even salvaging your used tissues, I can’t resist the strong temptation to run to your side and examine your cute little feet [lol, it’s supposed to be fetish-y (:]. You are the light of my life. You are my true love. You are my numero uno.

Letter to a nerd: how to get over rejectionsDear Nerd, Although I’m sure rejections rarely happen to cool guys like you, here are a few tips on how to get over rejections.

First and foremost, the main way you can get over rejections is to do homework and study for tests. This is because it diverts your attention to something else – something you love to do! Not only is it something you are used to doing, it also helps maintain the balance of AHS’ status quo. Discovering new math formulas and learning new languages will definitely get your distressed little head back into the happy-go-lucky zone.

If your rejection causes major stress, go play some video games. There’s nothing like some Warcraft or Starcraft that’ll get your mind off things. Also, exposing your wandering eyeballs to the computer monitor for long periods of time can really do damage to your eyes! Therefore, you’ll never be capable to see a pretty girl ever again.

Another good way to get over a harsh rejection is to drink! Whether its plain fruit juice or even some good old H2O, cool fluids aid in relaxing your brain and also help you by hydrating your body. If drinking really isn’t your thing, then go ahead and eat a big, delicious, mouthwatering, scrumptious chocolate bar. Chocolate has been proven to be one of the most popular things that people turn to when it comes to love. Due to its delicious, sweet flavor and creamy texture, it fills the empty hearts of all recently rejected nerds.

After all that darn refreshing liquids and yummy chocolate, you’d probably be pretty darn hyper. Well, might as well use up all that energy and burn all the calories by going to a Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) party! Practicing carpe diem and releasing all your worries will definitely transform your gloomy mood to a totally joyful feeling. Bring a couple of friends and dance the night away. Practicing the cool moves such as the robot, the Charlie Brown, and even the Macarena will definitely catch people’s attention. Just don’t stay up too late, you crazy kids!

You can also fill in the empty gap in your heart by spending more time with the one and only person that can fill the sad little hole with tons of love – your mother! Play some chess with her or take her to your local library for some quiet mother-nerd bonding. Maybe even talk to her about your recent rejection and let her give you one of those embarrassing but motivating “you’re too good for her” talks. Like the saying, there’s no better time than spending time with your mommy.

If you were recently rejected, try these tips. If your friend was recently rejected, then offer some of these tips to them, and make sure they are properly completed to see best outcome (results may vary). Good luck on getting over future rejections...