Here I am! Don’t Look Directly At Me.

A picture of me at the Bienalsur exhibition at the national museum with the beautiful work of Argentinian artist Graciela Sacco.

These days there is an abundance of parenting (blogs, books, talks, workshops, coaches, etc) and the world is properly saturated. I find myself wondering where this little blog fits in.

I am also uncertain about this world of oversharing that has developed around us. When I started writing this blog in 2010, Instagram wasn’t a thing. In fact, it had just been born a month before. There was still a good 8 months before snapchat was to appear (yep, I did a quick google search to figure both these facts out.) and facebook was, in my circles, used sporadically and mostly to keep in touch with faraway friends.

Fast forward almost 10 years and I can tell you what my third cousin once removed had for lunch today. Or whatthat girl I went to camp with when I was 12’s workout routine is.

When I started this blog I was always trying to be honest but not overshare. I still am uncomfortable over-sharing anything on social media so I thank God this is not my career as I don’t think I would do very well.

It seems that to be seen in this environment you have to be seen in the literal meaning of the word. And while showing yourself or your family was an anomaly that was stared and pointed at a few years ago in my world, it now seems to be the norm.

The older my children get as well, the less I want to write about them. Khaled, my 7-year-old, is now paranoid when I pick up my phone if he’s speaking because he thinks I am filming him. To be fair I almost always am because he is such a character. I always tell the truth when he asks then beg for him to let me keep the footage and promise I won’t send it to anyone. He doesn’t even like photos.

That I use my children proper names now is a thing. If you followed me for a while you will know I only used to use initials. More and more people I know now know this is my blog and that becomes a bit of a hindrance as well. 80% because of insecurity and 20% because I will see them in my day to day life. So what do I say? And how do I say it in a way that I am comfortable with and that will be of interest to you all?

I am not lessening the value of what I have to write tho. I know I do have things to say that some people would enjoy reading and maybe even get some use out of. As someone recently said to me “It is not an outrage for me to believe I know something”. I just have to make a space to fit in.

The way to go about it I think, which I vaguely remember realizing before and then forgetting again, is that I need to be more selfish in what I am doing here. In anonymity, I wrote what I wanted to write when I wanted to write it. Then I started trying too hard, which lessened my writing in general. And then I stopped trying altogether.

I may not be for the masses. but in reality, did I ever really want to be? Give me the choice between a one on one two way conversation or a speech and I would choose the latter.

So I will keep this sporadic, unintentional and beautifully flawed little blog going as it mirrors my life and you are welcome to take little peeks into the vague locations, strangely angle pictures and half-finished thoughts.

Question: How much are you comfortable sharing on social media? If you look at your friends’ list on these platforms are they really your friends? If you were sitting next to them in real life would you whip out your phone and show them pictures of your last vacation or your recent workout?

Post navigation

One comment

Relived you’re not going to disappear,I enjoy reading what you have to say about your life and kids but what I really enjoy is reading your observations about your world.
I share very little about myself online I think it’s ridiculous and honestly I just can’t understand the appeal. I don’t do Facebook in fact I would be a very happy camper if Facebook disappeared forever. I have a rant about Jeff Z.and selling data and the other #&% stuff he pulls. Don’t worry I will not inflict it on you.

Oops longer then I intended you take care of you and yours and please blog whenever you can.
Cynthia

Hello from Mama B

Hi! I'm Bessma and this is my little blog. I started it 2010 as a place to think out loud about parenting 3 Arab Muslim children in this day and age. It has since developed into a (on occasion) more informed, thinking out loud, about parenting 5 Arab Muslim children in this day and age.