Saturday, May 30, 2009

Note From Future Self

Dear Dorkys,

Woman you need to seriously cheer up. You look like such a sad sack. Toughen up! Keep following this route and you won't get to do the things you're meant to do. And trust me, there are some good times coming up ahead. Unfortunately, you keep pushing aside all the things that will lead you there. If only you could see now, the things I've already seen, heard, felt. This right now? It's nothing.

Are you having fun right now? No, of course you're not. How could you be? You're too busy crying all the damn time. I know it feels like it will be like this forever, but I'm proof that it won't. I laugh more and appreciate more. And I remember what you're going through. No offense, but I kinda laugh at you now. How I used to think the world was surely coming to an end because of small obstacles that will not matter years from now. Yes, you heard right. It will not matter! Yeah, you will remember, but it won't hurt as much as it does now.

Truth is, you're already stronger than you know so don't let anyone tell you any differently - even those evil inner demons. Just because you let yourself feel everything tenfold, doesn't make you weak. It only makes you more human. Now when you let it keep you from moving forward that's when it becomes a negative quality.

Yes, life can have it's sucky moments. You will suffer losses and disappointments. You will love and hurt and face failures on your way to success. But you will get there. Eventually you will learn to love the stormy weather as well as the sunshine not only because the dark days will make you appreciate the nicer ones more. But also because those cloudy moments carry a purpose of their own. So find peace in these days. Yes there's a light at the end of this tunnel, but you're walking through it for a reason. It's in these times that you will find out what you're made of. And I may be a bit biased here, but I think you are made of brilliance with a dash of awesomeness. It's about time you start believing it!

It will take time. Be patient. Allow the mistakes to happen, they're yours to make, but don't punish yourself for them. In the meantime, I'll be waiting until you slowly and gradually turn into fabulous me. (Start counting your blessings!)

The light at the end of your tunnel,Your future self

P.S. And don't you dare ask me what the winning numbers are. You know full well I still don't play the lotto.

I hope you take to heart what yourself told yourself. You will LAUGH at these times, you will laugh at the seriousness with which you make these moments when in reality...you're just experiencing the growing pains of learning adult loves and relationships. You HAVE to be able to see today for what it is....Just Today. :) Just an experience. Just a moment. You HAVE to be able to see the dancing and singing through the tears and rain. Dwelling will only hold you stagnant. MOVE, girl, MOVE.

intense guy, thanks, it's nice to be back. And the future me is just a very idealistic, hopeful version of the current me. I hope there's really is an actual her somewhere in the future.

caren, thank you!

sugarlens, it's nice to know I didn't lose all my brain cells along the way. Looks like you had a lovely weekend yourself :)

nobody's girl, you're very welcome!

paperface, hi and welcome! I like your name. Maybe it's because it reminds me of Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" and I like that song.

ladystyx, right back atcha :)

odessa, I can definitely drink to that! Not that I need a reason...

tooj, well I know this is true because I remember the things that would upset me when I was younger. I've read diaries from junior high and laugh at the petty little things I thought were ruining my life then. How silly I was then. And how silly I'll think of myself now in ten years.

HELLO

Hi, I'm Dorkys, a NYC-based writer/illustrator who's currently loving art journaling, decorating my new apartment, and relearning how to play the guitar. Here, I cover life, my art and writing career, travels, and the ins and outs of surviving in this hectic city.