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He was their for me as a child, as we got older he slowly started to leave, now I never see him. Big brother why, why did you leave. You were on a good path, then down hill. No more coming to my sports or showing up to family events. All I get now are texts once in a while asking me for things. when I try to talk to you, I get shut down. “Why did you leave.” Read with no response, u send you would never leave. When things get hard you turn to you drugs, coming home high. Until that night, that night you were caught. I tried to help but I wasn’t aloud, I was just sent to my room. Night after night, all I heard was yelling outside my room, crying until someone left. Then you were gone for 5 months, didn’t hear anything. Everyone thought I was fine but no, I wasn’t. I don’t talk about my problems or my family, half the time people only know of my sister, because you won’t come around. I know what happened at school, I was so ashamed to show my face after the reputation you left behind. You thought I was disappointed in you but I wasn’t, I just wanted my brother. Drinking and using drugs on a daily you thought it won’t hurt anyone but you were wrong. It hurt your family and the one person that looked up at you. Now I see you once every five months or longer, you think it’s okay. You don’t know how to deal with anything, you turn to your drugs and drinking. Why won’t you realize your not the brother you use to be, your so skinny and you think it’s okay. Your girlfriend talks to me more than you do, you see my friends more than you see me. As soon as someone brings up my name or says something to you about me, you try and pick a fight. “Why are trying to act like a brother, I know you feel like you have to since you left, but you stop.” Is the one message I regret sending to you. I felt extremely bad, and knew right after I sent it I would regret it so much. I apologize right after, even though I was still mad. We didn’t talk for 2 weeks after that, until I got a text from him saying. “ I am sorry, I know you mad at me and that you didn’t mean it.” I was so happy to to hear that from him. I apologize again. “I love you so much” was the first time he has said that to me since I was seven years old. I said it back, and asking if he is coming home soon, even thought I already knew the answer was no. I ask him every time just in case he changes his mind. That was my last conversation with him, until two weeks ago he said he was coming home for a bit. I knew it wasn’t going to happen, and that I shouldn’t keep my hopes up. He didn’t come, then when I got home from Florida. He was their, I was so happy to see him, even though he left 20 minutes after. I still haven’t seen him since. Big brother why, why did you leave.