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NOTE: I wrote this eons ago, did it for NPR, and cannot find it on my own blog! ENJOY!

“Running Music’ By Heather
Curlee-Novak

I started running several years ago
to distract myself from a broken heart and to quit smoking.I hated it.I did about eight 5K races with my Father who has been a three-miles-once-a-week
runner for decades. Then I quit.I was
happy once again.

In the past few years I married my
own Personal Prince Charming and have given birth to our precious first
child.Our lives have never been the
same.My body is not the same either...so
I decided to try running again. In about a month I was able to get up to a slow
plodding run interspersed with lots of walking, as usual.I found regular weekly running partners: our
baby Portia in a jogging stroller, my Hot Mama friend Tracy on Wednesdays and
of course dear old Dad on Monday or Friday.

I have been running longer and
better than four years and thirty pounds ago thanks to the maturing process of
parenthood, good running partners and my Ipod.The Ipod helps by distracting me from my agony and energizing me with
wild happy songs just when I’m ready to give up and eat more french fries.I also have the cool Nike Plus attachment
that tracks all my runs in pretty graphs with stats that keep me motivated to
go out one more time. I sometimes miss a run with my Dad or Tracy, but the Ipod
is my constant running partner, I won’t go out without it.Really.

I was out with my Dad and my Ipod
for a longer run and breathlessly mouthing the words to a favorite song in a
quiet moment.My Dad said “WHAT?”and I realized what I had sung- “I’m a Barbie
Girl, in a Barbie world, I’m plastic, its fantastic”Funny happy words from a random song on my
playlist.I like happy sexy songs to
keep my tired sweaty body on task...I am running to be healthier, sure, but
above all to be thinner, sexier and to feel good about how I look. It may not
be the highest goal in my life, but it is authentic!Later on I was singing about “bringing sexy
back”and once again Dad stares at me
and comments on the words. This is the man who takes me to Chicago operas, who
likes classical music, NPR, and old style country.Pop music is an alien world to him, and as I
usually listen to NPR and Christian music, he is surprised at my play list.

I try to explain to him how the
music gets me going and how I know the lyrics are vapid and hardly worth
listening to let alone picking up as a daily mantra, but he doesn’t
understand.He asks, “Do you want your
daughter to listen to this junk?”I do
have to think about that one.I have
already begun reframing my language, both foul and self flagellating, so that
when she actually understands words I am giving her the best role model I can
summon up.I want her to know she is
beautiful, captivating and valuable just as she is, whoever she is.I want her to be confident, kind and love
others well.

I know the world may send her a
different message. The struggle we women have with body image is an old dragon
that never seems to be vanquished.We
can know the truth of our beauty in our hearts and then turn on the TV or open
a magazine and question our value all over again.We can have thin thighs in college but think
they are enormous, not realizing the truth until our thirties when we learn the
meaning of ...well, never mind.

Body image can be a real challenge for women and I certainly
do not mean to perpetuate it by my running playlist.How do I appreciate the lyrics for what they
are without letting them affect me in the negative?How do I protect and shape my daughters’ view
of herself in a healthy way as she grows into a young woman?Honestly, I don’t know.I think that is a process that will take a
long time.But I do know that “I’m a
Barbie Girl”and Brittany Spear’s
“Womanizer” help me run faster.They
help me run longer.They bring me joy
for what they are; silly upbeat dance songs that do not act as a moral guide
for my life but keep my feet moving and my sweat pouring and my healthy
beautiful mama’s body running.I am
happy once again.

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About Me

My adventures as a sales and customer service trainer, consultant, life coach and motivational speaker have taught me many things about people, work life, possible joy and how far we have yet to come. I hope to encourage people to live their love out loud in every area of their lives.