Underage Lolita Pic

Related article: Date: Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:18:23 -0400 From: ronyx
Subject: A Bridge to Yesterday Chapter 4The following is a work of
fiction. Any similarities to anyone are purely coincidental. The
story is intended for a mature audience. It may contain profanity
and references to gay sex. If this offends you, please leave and
find something more suitable to read. The author maintains all
rights to the story. Do not copy or use without written permission.
Write Ron at ronyxthemustardjar.com with your comments. Ronxy is a
prolific Nifty writer.If you enjoy the stories on Nifty, go to
their homepage and make a generous donation.A Bridge to Yesterday
Chapter 4"Ladies and Gentlemen. We are now descending and will
arrive in less than five minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts.
Thank you for flying with us."It had been a long flight. I looked
over at Tina and she was looking out the window. She had said
hardly a half dozen words to me during the four hour flight home.
She was still upset that I hadn't answered my phone for hours when
she called to inform me of my father's death.He had suffered a
massive heart attack while mowing the yard earlier in the day.
According to my mother, the medics said he probably was dead before
he hit the ground. He had suffered a couple of minor heart attacks
over the past several years, but you're still never prepared for
something like this.I had talked to him on the phone last week, and
he sounded tired. He had retired a few years earlier and he had
developed a passion for playing golf. Mother said he spent more
time at the country club than he did at home. When I talked to him,
he had just finished eighteen holes and was in the club house
drinking a martini. Little did I know it would be the last time I'd
talk to him.My mother was waiting in the lobby of the airport when
we arrived. I was also surprised to see Star sitting beside her. I
was astonished. by my mother's appearance. She looked old; much
older than I remembered her looking last Christmas, the last time
Tina and I had visited.She stood and rushed into my arms when she
saw us come down the long corridor as we disembarked. She buried
her head into my chest and cried. "It's just me and you now, Gene,"
she whispered softly. I held her as she sobbed. Star came up and
rubbed her gently on her back. Tina stood back, apparently unsure
of what to do.Star looked amazing. She seemed so full of poise and
grace. She had matured into a beautiful woman. She was like a
sister to me, and we had always welcomed her into our home as if
she was one of the family."Hey, Gene." She stood on her tiptoes and
kissed me on the cheek. "I'm so sorry," she said. She then turned
and gave Tina a hug. I walked over to the turnstile and retrieved
our luggage that had just appeared. I was trying to balance four
pieces, when Star walked over and took two of the lightest.Tina put
her arm around my mother and led the way out of the Underage
Lolita Pic terminal. She and my mother had always been very
good friends. I think it was their desire to have grandchildren
that bonded their relationship. It was always after our visits home
that Tina would insist that we try and have children. Our arguments
would last for several months before she'd final relent, realizing
that I would never want children."Is everything alright?" Star
asked. She looked at Tina and then back at me."Same old, same old,"
I laughed nervously. Star and I had had many long conversations
about my relationship with Tina. Since she was one of the few
people who knew what had happened in high school, I felt more
comfortable talking to her. She had tried for several years to get
me to break up with Tina. I refused to tell Tina the truth, but
Star still persisted.The ride home was surreal. I felt like a
stranger in the car. Tina sat in the back seat, trying to console
my mother, and Star sat in the passenger's seat and stared at me
out of the corner of her eye. I'd glance over a few times, but
she'd look quickly away.Cars were parked up and down the street
when we arrived. No one had parked in the long drive, allowing us
to drive up to the front of the house. As we got out, several
people came out and greeted us.Most were unfamiliar to me. I found
out later that they were dad's golfing buddies and members of the
lodge he had attended for over forty years. Some I remembered
seeing when I was a teenager, but since I had moved two thousand
miles away, I had lost contact with all my parents' acquaintances.
I was glad, though, that my mother had a lot of support from
friends. I was overcome with guilt, Underage Lolita Pic because
I felt I had abandoned her over the years and she and my father
lived a life unknown to me. Visiting for two weeks every couple of
years at Christmas now made me feel like a stranger in my former
home.I spent the next hour walking around the house, mingling with
the mourners. People told me how sorry they were for my loss, but
it seemed like empty sentiments. Most of them knew that I had
estranged myself from my parents when I left high school and
attended college.My mother had an understanding of why I left. She
had forced me to seek counseling after that incident in Billy Joe's
barn, and she was aware of my struggle with my sexuality. Unlike
Star, who thought I should leave Tina, my mother thought that
having children might strengthen our relationship and make me a
better husband. I'd usually leave after our visits and head for the
nearest bar when I returned back home. It would take me months to
dissuade Tina from my mother's influence.I walked around the house
trying to find some place to get away from the strangers who kept
approaching me and offering their condolences. Somehow, I found
myself in my parents' bedroom. I closed the door and plopped down
exhausted on the bed.I closed my eyes for a minute, and when I
opened them, I noticed a familiar picture on the wall. I walked
over and took it down and clutched it to my chest. It was a picture
of Allen and me. He was about fourteen and I was eleven. My father
had taken it just as we had come sledding down a large embankment
behind our house. We had toppled over and I was pinned under Allen.
His face was full of laughter while mine contained a painful
grimace. Tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered that cold,
December afternoon. I think it was one of the last times I ever saw
Allen laugh, at least until Joey came into his life.I was still
staring at the blurry picture when Star tiptoed into the room and
sat quietly beside me. She took the picture from my hands and held
it. I listened as she cried softly beside me. Underage Lolita
Pic She lay her head on my shoulder and muttered softly, "I
miss him so much.""He loved you like a sister," I informed her.
"When the world turned away from him, you remained right by his
side." Her soft crying turned into loud sobbing. I put my hand
around her and pulled her nearer to me. It was several minutes
before either of us said anything.Star wiped the tears from her
eyes, and then looked at me and laughed. She reached up and wiped
my eyes dry. "We look like two big babies," she smiled."I guess
some things never change, do they?" I laughed.Just then there was a
soft knock on the door. Ticker poked his head in and saw us sitting
beside each other. He walked over and I stood. He embraced me
tightly, as only he could do."I'm really sorry, Gene," he said
sympathetically. "If there's anything I can do." I nodded and he
hugged me again."I guess we should go back downstairs," I said to
Star. I took her hand and led her from the bedroom with Ticker
trailing behind us.As I descended the stairs and entered the living
room, I stopped suddenly. On the other side of the room Joey was
talking to my mother. There was a young boy standing beside him and
Joey had his arm protectively around his
shoulder.*****************"I'm really happy, Allen." It was Sunday
afternoon. For the past five years I come to Allen's graveside and
place fresh flowers in a vase beside his tombstone. Today they were
red and white carnations."He's a great kid," I choke back the
words. "You'd love him. And now he's my son, our son. Can you
believe it? We're dads."I know it sounds funny, but I want Allen to
share my excitement. I want my happiness to be his happiness. When
I sit in front of his grave, I always feel he is with me. I can
feel his love surging inside me. For several years it was the only
thing that sustained me."I wish you were here with us," I say
tearfully. "He'd love you. You're both so much alike-so full of
life. But I guess you already know that." I carefully rearranged
the carnations, making sure that they were perfectly set according
to color- red, white, red, white. Actually, it was more because of
nerves. Something had been troubling me for the past year."Listen,
Allen." I begin. "I don't want you to think that just because Nicky
has come into my life that I love you any less. I know that since
he's been with me that I don't think about you as often. But my
love for you has never diminished."I sit quietly, listening to the
gentle wind blowing through the trees just behind me. Then I know.
"You wanted to see me happy. You always told my you didn't care
that I love someone else, as long as I love." I start to smile.
"Just how much did you have a hand in bringing Nicky to me?"A chill
went up my spine as I close my eyes and hear Allen laugh. I arise,
kiss the marble headstone and walk cheerfully to my car. Allen's
love will forever be with me, I know that in my
heart.****************"I need to talk to you, Doc." Douglas
Campbell paced nervously around my office, and then he walked over
and closed the door. "This is important."Douglas, the senior class
president, had stopped me in the hallway the day before and asked
if he could schedule an appointment with me. I assumed he had
something he wanted to discuss about graduation at the end of May,
but his nervousness indicated that it was something unrelated to a
class activity."Would you sit down and stop pacing around the
room," I laughed. "I'm getting dizzy watching you." He stopped in
the center of the room, and for a moment I felt he was going to
burst into tears. He walked over, pulled a chair up to my desk and
leaned forward."Can we talk, like private? Man to man?" He was
whispering, afraid that someone in the outer office might hear."Of
course, Douglas," I assured him. "Anything you tell me will be
confidential. That is, unless you confess to murder or something."
I laughed, trying to make the situation lighter, but he merely
frowned and rolled his eyes."You know that Jason and Travis are
trying to form this gay group here at school?" He waited for my
response."Yes," I said. "I was the one who suggested it. I've
wanted a gay student alliance here for quite some time."He stared
me in the eyes. I could tell he was struggling to say something.
Finally, he sighed and said, "I want to join it." Tears welled up
in his eyes as he again awaited my response."That's great,
Douglas," I said excitedly. "Jason and Travis will be thrilled.
Your leadership skills will be invaluable." He slumped down in his
chair and let out another sigh."There's a problem with that." He
fidgeted in his seat, again carefully measuring his words. "I don't
think you understand." He paused before continuing, "I'm gay.""I
see." I sat back in my chair and studied him for a minute. "You're
not out?" Tears fell from down his cheeks as he shook his
head."They're so excited about this," he replied. "They're going
all around the school trying to get other kids involved. I've been
in the closet since I was thirteen, and just watching them being
proud of who they are, I don't know, it makes me want to, I don't
know, maybe come out or something."He put his head in his hands and
wept quietly. I got up and walked around the desk and placed my
hand on his shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with being gay," I
assured him."I know that," he turned and looked up at me. "But I'm
the class president. What would people say?""Even class presidents
can be gay," I smiled. He seemed to relax a little."Do your parents
know?" I asked."I don't know," he replied. "I think they may
suspect. I'm eighteen and I've never really had a girlfriend. My
mom has thrown out a couple of hints the past couple of months. I
think she wants me to tell her."I gently squeezed his shoulder.
"Douglas, I've met your parents. They are wonderful individuals. I
don't think they'll think any less of you if you are gay.""But I'm
an only son," he said sadly."So was I," I responded before I
realized what I had said. He swirled around in his chair and stared
at me. "Doc," he said disbelievingly. "You mean?" I pulled up a
chair and sat beside him."I told you that anything you said would
be confidential," I said. "I expect the same respect from you."
"You have my word on that," he kissed his finger and crossed his
heart. He leaned toward me and asked seriously, "Tell me how you
handled it." I gave him a very condensed version of my high school
experience, leaving out the sordid details. I trusted him, but I
didn't think it was important that he know all the depressing
aspects of my teenage years. Besides, I was trying to get him to
feel comfortable about accepting himself. My life experience would
have depressed him."But you said your parents kicked you out of the
house," he said worriedly. "What if my parents do that to me?" "The
point I was trying to make, is that my parents weren't good
parents," I replied. "Your parents are caring and supportive. They
love you deeply. I've seen the pride in their faces when you are
involved in some school activity.""I still don't know," he sat back
with a worried look. "What if they're not proud of me anymore once
I tell them?""I've been around a long time," I assured him. "I've
become a pretty good judge of people. I think you being gay won't
affect your parents love for you."He sat back and shook his head. I
could tell he was really struggling with his emotions."I have an
idea," I said. "Are you willing to take a chance and come out to
Jason and Travis?" I watched as his mind began to comprehend my
suggestion."I think so," he replied apprehensively. "Are they out
to their parents?""Yes," I said. "They told me they were. Maybe
talking to them about it will help you make a decision." He nodded
his approval."When should I talk to them?" He asked."How about
now?" He thought for a minute and nodded his head.I got on the
phone and called my secretary. "Delores. Would you check and see
what classes Jason Thompson and Travis Armstrong are in right now.
Then contact their teachers and ask them to report to my
office."Ten minutes later, Jason and Travis peeked their head in my
office. Their eyes widened when they saw Douglas sitting in the
room."Gentlemen, come in." I cheerfully waved them into the room.
"I think you know Douglas Campbell." Both boys walked over and
shook Douglas's hand. "He has some things he'd like to discuss with
you."I walked over to the door. "I'll leave you boys alone for a
while. Ask my secretary for a pass back to class when you finish."
I then closed the door and walked away. I strolled the hall
whistling a tune I'd heard earlier on the car radio.I returned to
my office about a half hour later. The three young men were leaving
the office and talking animatedly as they walked down the hall.
Douglas turned and saw me approaching. He gave me a wide grin and a
thumbs up as Travis put his arm on his shoulder and led him
away.*****************When I arrived home, I immediately sensed
that something was wrong. Star was sitting alone in the family
room. She was holding a tissue in her hand and wiping tears from
her eyes. My heart sunk. Since I didn't see Nicky anywhere, I was
afraid something had happened to him."What's wrong?" I asked
nervously. "What's happened?"She stood up and walked over to me.
"Mr. Albright is dead." I felt immediately relieved that is wasn't
Nicky, but it didn't minimize the sorrow I felt.Mr. Albright had
become an extremely good friend over the years. When I met Allen, I
instantly hated him for how he had treated him. His stepfather's
homophobia had caused Allen to leave home, leaving him virtually
alone in the world. If it hadn't been for his mother, Allen would
not have survived those earlier years.His bitterness had also
turned Gene against him. Gene lived in constant fear that his
father would find out that he too was gay. It took several years of
counseling to make him get over his father's influence.But when
Allen became sick, and we decided that he would return home to die,
it was his stepfather who provided strength to all of us. He never
left his beside, and was with us both when Allen took his final
breath. Mr. Albright took care of all the final arrangements that
Allen and I had planned in advance. Not once did he question any
decision we made. He even had his personal lawyer check over our
joint banking account to prevent anyone from challenging my legal
status.Mr. and Mrs. Albright were frequent dinner guests, and Nicky
and I were often asked over to dinner at their home. They adored
Nicky, and they treated him as if he was their own son. On several
occasions we argued over them buying him things that I had told him
he couldn't have. Not that he couldn't have them, but I expected
him to earn them. They, however, would merely appear one night and
secretly give them to him when I wasn't watching.I sat down, numb
from the news of his passing. It took me several minutes before I
could respond. Star had sat beside me, holding my hand and gently
rubbing it."Does Nicky know?" I asked. I knew Mr. Albright's
passing would be very difficult for him. He was extremely close to
him, and thought of him as a grandfather.Star shook her head. "No,"
she said. "I thought it was best that you tell him.""What
happened?" All she had told me was that he had died. She explained
how Mrs. Albright had gone out into the yard and found him lying
dead with the lawn mower still idling."How is she?""She's holding
up," Star said. "This was so unexpected. They were drinking coffee
together in the kitchen just a half hour earlier. She said he was
cheerful and there was no indication that anything was wrong. Gene
Underage Lolita Pic and Tina are flying in from California." She
looked at her watch. "They will be arriving soon. She asked me to
drive to the airport with her and pick them up."Star and I stood.
She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "You'd better go tell
Nicky. Come by the Albright house later. Ticker and I will be
there, and I'm sure Gene would like to see you again." I walked her
to the door and watched as she got in her car and drove away.I let
out a deep sigh, and then turned and headed up the stairs to
Nicky's room. What do you say to a kid whose life had undergone so
many changes over the past two years. He had formed bonds and
placed unconditional trust in his new family. Now one of those
bonds was broken. How does a thirteen year old boy deal with such a
loss?Even though I knew Nicky was mature beyond his young years, he
never ceased to amaze me. I guess loosing his mother at eleven had
strengthened his character. He cried when I told him of Mr.
Albright's death, but his main concern was for me.He was worried
how the death of Allen's father would affect me. Like him, he knew
that I had no family, or at least one that I could claim. The
Albright's had become my surrogate family. I had told him about
Allen's death and how Mr. Albright had been a source of strength
and comfort to me following his loss."You gonna be okay, Dad?" He
asked worriedly as he put his head on my shoulder. Tearfully, I
leaned over and kissed him on his forehead."You know I love you,
don't you?" He smiled widely."Yeah," he giggled. "I kinda figured
that out." I pulled him into another hug."Why don't we go out to
dinner," I suggested, "and then we'll stop by the Albright home.
Aunt Star and Uncle Ticker will be there. You can also meet your
Uncle Gene. He's Allen's younger brother. You haven't met him
yet.""Isn't he that blonde guy in the football jersey?" He asked. I
had forgotten that I had shown him the picture of Gene taken in
high school when he played on the football team. Mrs. Albright had
given it to Allen when he once asked for a picture of Gene. It had
been one of Allen's favorite pictures."Yep," I said. "However, I'm
sure he doesn't look like that today." I hadn't seen Gene in a
couple of years, but the last time he visited he still looked
remarkably handsome. The years had been kind him. While I seemed to
always grow older, Star and Gene were like Peter Pan- they never
seemed to age.**************After I saw Joey talking to my mother,
I retreated without them seeing me and headed out onto the back
deck and took a seat by the pool. I listened while the water
bubbled gently along the sides. A few minutes later I heard the
door open and Star walked out and approached me. She handed me an
iced tea, and then she took the seat beside me."You alright?" She
asked softly. "I know how Underage Lolita Pic hard this must
be for you.""Yeah, right," I answered sarcastically. Star gave me a
quizzical look.To be honest, I really didn't care that my father
was dead. I had spent years in therapy trying to undo the
psychological damage he did to me. Parents can go to jail for
physically abusing their children, but no one says a damn word when
a parent destroys a young child's mind.I had grown to hate him
since I was a teenager. I struggled with my sexuality since I was
about twelve, but then I saw how he treated Allen. He destroyed
him. I knew that if he ever found out that I shared the same
traits, he'd disown and destroy me also.So I spent years in
therapy, Underage Lolita
Pic and I eventually denied that I was gay. Oh, I was gay, but
I hid it so deeply, placed it in a box and never to be opened. But
then Joey came into my life. I was immediately attracted to him,
but I could never confess it to him or myself. It killed me when he
met my brother and they became lovers. Underage Lolita Pic
They were so happy. So damned happy- and I was almost destroyed
again.So I ran. About as far away as I could go. Two thousand miles
on the other coast. I married and lived a life I grew to hate. All
because of him.If I had only had Allen's strength. Most people
found him weak, but to me he was like a God. He stood up to that
beast- my father. When Dad called him a fag, he said, "Fuck you!"
Fuck you. He actually said that to my father. Of course, Dad put
him out of the house, but he stood his ground. I was so proud of
him.Years later, when Allen lay dying, Dad tried to make amends.
Allen was too sick to care, and Joey found it admirable. But to me,
it was the old man trying to find absolution. He needed to seek
forgiveness before it was too late. Allen gave it to him.But what
about me? Did he one time try to make amends with me? He didn't
even care. On the times Tina and I returned home to visit during
holidays, he hardly had anything to say to me. In his eyes, I had
become the prodigal son.But when I saw Joey tonight, all the old
hurt resurfaced. Joey could have been mine if Dad had been more
tolerant and understanding. If only he hadn't hated so much, then I
could have told Joey how I felt about him.I did once, one dark
night and with too much to drink. I kissed him on that porch. That
kiss that almost destroyed my life. That kiss, if Dad had
discovered, would have destined me to a life of loneliness like it
did Allen.Ironically though, Dad's actions was the beginning in a
chain of events that eventually brought Allen and Joey together.
Allen once told me how he and Joey met. Two lost guys on a bridge
with nothing but despair. Two guys on a mission to end their lives,
only to be brought closer together. A mission that ruined my only
chance at love."Gene?" Star's voice shook me from my somber
thoughts."Who was that boy with Joey tonight?" I looked over and
Star was watching me thoughtfully. After Underage Lolita Pic
an awkward minute, she spoke."I guess you haven't heard yet," she
said. "That's Nicky. Joey's son."I looked over at Star in
disbelief. "His son?"****************Visit Ronyx's home:
www.themustardjar.comSend comments to: ronyxthemustarjar.com
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