How To Be Single And Enjoy Every Second

Yes ladies, I know what you’re thinking, who is that muscular, sweaty, handsome devil in the picture? Yes it’s me so please can you control your hormones, I’m single and available! 😆 I’m no longer single or available (so yes this all works!) I’ll explain later why I put this particular picture up but for now I just want to ask you a couple of simple questions.

To the guys and gals – are you single? If so do you realise how good you have it? Or are you feeling miserable and do you often spend time fantasizing about having a partner just like your friends or the couples you see on the street? Do you waste the precious moments of your single life worrying about being left on the shelf? Flirting is good for the soul so if you’ve been single for a long time then this is just the article for you!

The Love Doctor

Before I go any further I wanted to mention that a big shift occurred for me when I discovered some wonderful material on the web, and realised just how much fun being single could be. I’m so grateful I discovered that information because it helped me get to grips with an area of my life I always struggled with. Search around the internet and you will find so much information to help you along your journey and is a good starting point.

Single-hood Is Precious

As a single person you may not realise just how good you have it. Most single people are so caught up in self pity that precious opportunities pass them by and they don’t even realise it. Whatever your situation right now you are in exactly the right place you are supposed to be in but, going forward, you control what happens.

I used to be so bad at asking women out. I got lucky a few times but overall I was pretty bad at it and more often than not I was rejected and dejected over and over again. Being rejected is not nice but I’ll explain later how I turned things around. I still get rejected, and probably more often, but that’s because I try more often without the fear of rejection.

I once wrote an article called ‘One For The Nice Guys’ and I take back every single word I wrote on there! I was wrong and I’ve realised the error of my ways. If I knew then what I know now I would most likely be in a very different place. At this present moment I’m a bachelor (not anymore), I love dating, meeting new people, and just having some fun along the way!

Date Like There’s No Tomorrow!

I used to get really depressed about being single but now I love it. I’m not saying I want to stay single but I recognise now how lucky I am. Yes I’m looking for someone I can share my life with, but on that journey, I’d like to have some fun and give women enjoyable experiences that they’ll remember for a long time to come! (Stop thinking naughty thoughts!) 😛

If you’re single you can go on as many dates as you want and enjoy being flirtatious anywhere! (I’m a believer that just because you have a partner it doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt!) If you feel you need help in that area then keep reading and I’ll give you more suggestions about how to get good at it. In fact, I’ll be writing more posts on my dating tips.

Appearance

Ah now we come to the reason I put up that picture! A picture of me not looking so pretty and with sweaty pits? 😆 Why on earth would I put up a picture like that if I’m trying to attract women? It’s simple. I did because I know that women don’t really care what a guy looks like. If you can make her laugh, whilst being a confident, then any guy has the golden ticket to being a stud!

I used to be so worried about my weight and the way I looked that I made up a whole bunch of crappy limiting beliefs as to why women didn’t want to go out with me. I used to think it was about my weight, and how I looked, and those beliefs held me back for years. Now, no matter what anyone else thinks about me, I believe I’m handsome, sexy (despite the sweaty pits) and great fun to be with!

My rejections had nothing to do with the way I looked or my weight and everything to do with the way I did it. However it doesn’t hurt to make a bit of an effort. I do like to dress smart and women appreciate that but it isn’t the bottom line. I have got a date in the past whilst in my sports gear and looking like I’d just wrestled an alligator! (And lost!)

Get A Cool Attitude

I used to always came across as single, needy and clingy and that is definitely a big turn off. If you can learn to be more fun in your approach and not take rejection too seriously then you will come across as more attractive. In the beginning, the more you try, the more you’ll get rejected. It’s just the law of averages but as you get better at it you will get more yes’s than ‘no, please can you leave me alone and stop stalking me’!

If you’re not having luck then something needs to change. Change your approach and learn to have more fun in the process. If you get nervous approaching people then practise is all you need and you can start with your friends. Do a role play with a friend and see what they think. I was with my friend in the car the other day and I told her how I’d approach her if I was going to ask her out. Her response? ‘Smooth and I probably would’ve said yes!’

How To Handle Rejection

I’ve been rejected plenty and I remember how that used to make me feel in the past. I used to shut myself away but then I’d be a friend to the person who rejected me in the secret hope that they would see the kind of person I am and then fall hopelessly in love with me! Now my solution is simple; move on! If you get hung up on just one person then you’re missing out on millions of people who are single and looking.

If you’re feeling bad after being rejected the prime reason is simply that you’ve pinned your hopes on that one person. When you awaken to the idea that there’s an entire planet of single people out there you start to realise that, in the grand scheme of things, one rejection means nothing.

I turn things around and make it sound like the other person is asking me out. That way if things don’t go well I can playfully make out that it was me doing the rejecting. I may try a second time at a later stage but if the rejection happens I remind myself that they were not intelligent enough to recognise a smart, sexy, spiritual, fun person was here for the taking and that they missed out.

Some Things To Remember

1. If you’re single and you’ve been single a while get some feedback from friends to find out what you’re doing wrong. Then get yourself out there and start meeting women/men

2. Don’t just do the usual things for dates. Start with maybe a coffee and build from there. Then come up with imaginative things to do or places to go. Sometimes it’s not where you take them but what you do while you’re there. Something like walking on the beach can be a great place to have a date.

3. If you struggle to converse while on a date play some games. Have fun, play slaps, thumb wrestle or even truth or dare. Even the lack of conversation can be a topic to discuss. If you run out of things to say you can say something like ‘What do you normally talk about when you run out of things to say to people?’

4. Engage in playful banter. When I’m on a date with a woman I might make fun out of whatever she’s wearing or, if I’m feeling particularly brave, and I know things are going well, I might make fun of the size of her butt! 😆

5. Remember; you’re not going to get along with everyone so don’t worry if it doesn’t go well. Move on. Put yourself back out there meeting people and then have another go! Learn from the last experience and use it for future dates.

I could go on for hours on this subject now but I’ll leave it there and I’ll be back with more tips for all the single people out there. I have tons to share and upon seeing my success more and more people are coming to me asking me how I do it. Have fun and make the most of the time you’re single ‘coz soon you’ll have a partner who wants to go shopping all the time and will hog the duvet during the winter…brrrrr!

88 Responses

I love it how single people feel bad because they’re not in a relation, people in a relation long for the freedom of being single. The fact of the matter is, both cases have the potential to be good or bad, depending what exactly you do in them. Besides, being single and being in a committed relation are like the black and the white. And there are so many shades of gray in between 🙂

That’s so true Eduard and something I totally forgot to mention. As the old adage goes ‘the grass is always greener’ and that’s often the way people feel. Single people will want to be in a relationship and sometime people in a relationship will long to be single again.

Thanks for reminding me of that and when I do a follow up to this I’ll mention that! 😉

I’ve been single 28 years of my life. granted, nearly 20 o those I was living at home. I dated for less than a year. it took me three years to get over losing the second guy to some gossip her heard. then I realized that he wasnt worth it. I’ve been single and loving it these last 7 years. I have so many freedoms being in a relationship doesnt afford others. Now i cant imagine the grass being greener on the other side.

Though I would recommend, if the girl doenst like you cracking jokes about her butt, she isnt the one for you. One of my “glad to be single” male friends has a complex about it. course, he has lots of superstitions about women I won’t even get into.

. One of the great sages once said that we cannot choose a new path until we enjoy the path we are on. I agree, those grass is always greener people keeping wanting to walk across the bridge with the emotional trolls beneath, and complain again once on the other side. If we just learn to be happy on one side or the other, then we avoid the emotional trolls. beside, if we are single, maybe another single will find our meadow, if we are not single and our companion leaves for the greener grass, maybe we dont really want to be with a person who isnt happy with that grass.

If we learn to be happy no matter our circumstances we can adjust to change better.

Just a thought.

(We die hard writers are an odd bunch best served by singleness, late night coffee runs, and locking ourselves to our desks until the project gets done, its our own happy little world. Regular humans would be unhappy with this lot in life and are best to keep to themselves lest our insomnia and obsessiveness makes them want to join the trolls.)

Hey Amie, it’s great to see that you’ve found your peace with being single. The words from that sage are so true. It’s been my exact experience that whenever i’ve had a more foot loose and fancy free attitude that things just come to me without even trying. Aka the law of attraction.

I’m curious, with you being a single person and content in being single, do you still date and is your intention to eventually find a long term partner. (don’t worry, this isn’t a proposal!) lol

I thinks its great that so many singles find joy in being single and still go dating. Personally I think its important to date because it does help you discover yourself and want you like about in others. Even if the person is not actively looking for a committed relationship right away. I’m okay if someone happens across my path someday. A committed relationship and even marriage isnt on my to-do list. It used to be, when i was younger. Somehow my journey so far while I have been single has brought me so many fulfilling experiences without someone being there. though, it is part of human nature to want to share lifes experiences with someone.

Hey Amit, interesting article. I totally agree with what you said, women don’t like clingy and needy man. I think it is important to find a balance between learning to make the woman feel special and not being clingy at the same time. I think David Deangelo is making too much emphasis on the latest. His actual name is Eben Pagan actually and he is one of the best internet marketers and copywriters I know. So, yes, I do read his newsletter from time to time (funny isn’t it?), just to learn from what he is doing. .-= Lana – Dreamfollowers Blog´s last blog ..Why Positive Thinking Doesnâ€™t Work =-.

Hey lana! Thanks for your comment and yep I knew that was his real name. His newsletters are funny and all that I’ve learned from him I have through the free newsletters. That’s actuAlly what I like about him most is the fact that he gives away so much of his knowledge for free! 🙂

You’ve got some good stuff here. David Deangelo AKA Eben Pagan AKA the guy who recently created the Get Altitude series sure does know a lot about dating and business. His words do have some big value.

Your points about appearance sound about right. Attitude and energy are pretty vital components of being attractive, because a good looking rock doesn’t provide us with much.

About that point about trying, it sure is worth it to keep trying daily. Opportunity is ours to take.

Hi Amit. Thanks for these tips on dating. I agree that being single does have its advantages such as a lot more freedom and having fun dating. Ah… I miss those days. 🙁 .-= Tristan Lee´s last blog ..Will Power â€“ A Contradictory Concept =-.

Like you I am single and have been for a while through choice. I too would like to meet my life partner, “soul-mate even. But in the meantime there is not reason not to put myself out there and enjoy life to the full which is what I am doing.

The beauty of my journey is that having met so many different women and learnt from so many different relationships, I am really clear about what I am looking for in a life partner.

So I would say to any other single people out there – chill out (rather than getting hung up about single), enjoy life to the full, have lots of fun (in whatever form you like) and learn more about just what you want from life, your partner and in a relationship.

“The beauty of my journey is that having met so many different women and learnt from so many different relationships, I am really clear about what I am looking for in a life partner.” –

Arvind, that’s for pointing that out and that’s something else I totally forgot to mention in this post (although saying that if I mentioned everything I was thinking this post would quite easily have become 5000 words!) 😛

I used to think that getting to know so many women was a bad idea, and one of my limiting beliefs. But a friend of mine used to date lots of women and during a conversation we had we both came to exactly the same conclusion – that because he had dated so many women he had developed a very clear picture of his ideal partner. He has now met her! 🙂

I find that all the really great friends I’ve met ( many of them male friends) online live across the pond or in Canada. I live in the U.S. by birth, not choice. Its too bad so many interesting people are in other countries. Perhaps I should travel more…haha.

Thank you so much for this article – I have never managed to be single for more than a few months (even when I’m ‘trying’ to stay single!). On the good side this means I have had wonderful relationships with some very special people, but on the downside it means I literally don’t know how to stay single, or what it feels like!

Now I am ‘single’ I want to stay that way, just to see what it’s like and what I’ve been missing.

So thank you – your post was just what was needed 🙂 Looking forward to all the freedom and possibilities of singledom!

“When Iâ€™m on a date with a woman I might make fun out of whatever sheâ€™s wearing or, if Iâ€™m feeling particularly brave, and I know things are going well, I might make fun of the size of her butt! ;-)”

Ok, I have to say I think that is bad advice. If the guy I just started going out with made fun of my appearance, well let’s just say that date would end quickly. Nothing wrong with joking about things but I think doing that could potentially turn a woman off big time.

I was on a date with this girl, she had a nice big butt like J-Lo. So I said to her “how do you get through doors with that thing?” she cracked up laughing. She loved it!

I will admit, it won’t work 10% of the time for me, but those 10% are the kind of women I’m not really into anyway. A woman has to have a fantastic sense of humour for me, especially being a comedian and the kind of guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously either.

Amit, its really a inspiring article of yours, where in you narrated your lif as single. I too a single. (Iam a divorce). I wish to fix date with girls. But i still not recovered from the pain of divorce. I am enjoing as single but, i feel to have a companion. I feel a lonliness, bored…etc. I go for joging every day morning and evening, Also a spiritually inclined person, Do go for shopping, Reads personality dvpmnt articles. Can you give your comment on this.

Apologies for not responding to your comment sooner! I can give your lots of comment and encouragement, you’re doing so much to keep yourself going and growing which is perfect. Put yourself in places you can meet lovely young intelligent and beautiful women. Go to cafe’s, the beach, wherever you feel in your element and where you will feel totally natural approaching women!

Everyone has made some pretty interesting points. I agree dating is important cause it allows you to discover more about yourself and others. It also helps you decide what is really important to you in a serious relationship.

superrr yayyyyyy!!! finally an article for single people thats fun and positive. I have also made a list of what I am looking for in a potential partner, and have learned alot about myself during this time so i think the best thing you can do when your single is learn more about who you are as a person, grow as an individual, do the things that make you happy, love who you are, and the rest will follow! 🙂 🙂

😀 glad you enjoyed! You’re not the first person I’ve heard say they’ve made a list of what they see in a potential partner with great results but you said it perfectly, use that time to get to know yourself and do what you enjoy and good stuff will follow! 😉

Hello! I have been single for almost 5 years now and I love it. It feels like I have more opportunity to enjoy and learn about life than ever before. I am only 24 by the way and It’s nice to know that I have my whole life ahead of me. My Indian parents are starting to push me into dating men and I did start for a little while but no luck. Indian men and their families are looking for women with a “specific requirement–status, value, wealth, family background…etc” I absolutely hate this. This makes me want to stay single for long as possible. Anyway, thanks for the great article!

Hey Paul, great to hear from you and your take on singlehood! Do you mind me asking, have you ever had a girlfriend? When I wrote this I was single and very content. Now I’m in a relationship and equally as content. Each path comes with it’s own wonders and challenges. 🙂

Thank you for your reply! I have never had a girlfriend. The only reason is because all the good girls are taken which leaves me with girls that have qualities that I do not want. Thank you again for replying

I am a very good looking girl, like out of ten men, 8 would say i am hot and two would think i am average, yet all men want from me is SEX. i have been single all my life, men seem to not like me, just attracted to me but nothing more. What can i be doing wrong? And no, i am no where near arrogant, conceited or anything awful. i am very friendly and love smiling at people all the time and i am very mannered. I only attract the men i don’t like.

I came across your website while googling stuff, and I must admit, it was a really uplifting article. Your article was heartfelt and down to earth, unlike most of the pretentious crap people told me or that I have read about.

I was constantly “emo-ing” about this exact state, and I have struggled for years and years to tell myself to not get hung over these girl(s) that rejected me all these years. I felt like I had to stick with it and not give up so easily. You see, when I like someone, I do for a long time. That is how devoted I am.

Now? I told myself I would wait to see if her attitude changes while keeping my options open. And to see the flowers along the way rather than to put my head on my palms thinking about said girl.

My story is different I have never had a successful relatiomship or being wth samone for over two months its either the cheat or wateva…..I feel like everyone jes wants to have me because of my preety face bt I dnt want that anymo I want to enjoy being single and flirt have fun and laugh a lot Your article really helped me because av bin hurting so mch that am not good enough bt mw its tym to move on…. Single and free to mingle 🙂 😀

It’s so good to hear from you and I can’t tell you how overjoyed I am to know that the article was helpful to you. Good luck on your new journey, go enjoy, laugh, have fun, try new things and see what wonderful things transpire 🙂

I actually care quite a bit about the way a guy looks. That is in no way the most important factor, but if I’m not even remotely physically attracted to him, then I’m not going to stand there and be flattered by his flirting and I certainly am not going to flirt back.

Great to hear from you. I actually disagree with you on that slightly, that’s not what I’ve seen from women I know and have experienced first hand. In fact time and time again I hear these following words: “He’s not the type of guy I would normally go for but for some strange reason I feel attracted to him.”

All these women didn’t find those guys attractive initially, but it built over time.

And lastly I guess we are all different, so if it’s not what works for you, if the appearance does have an ultimate bearing on how you feel – I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and that’s just the way it goes. More power to you and keep doing what works for you.

Thanks for the response 🙂 … I’m hitting 40 and the ONLY guys who seem to be attracted to me, both online and offline, are in their 20’s. And dang it, they are so interesting and so much fun!! Even had a couple of very sweet quality guys 😀 propose marriage even tho they know I’m happily divorced with a kid and NEVER intend to jump in again. And I just can’t seem to connect at a deeper level with guys my age :-/

My latest crush is someone 12 years my junior. Am I pervy?? More importantly, do I really need you to tell me if I’m pervy…? Most importantly, if I have to ask, I probably am 🙁 …. sucks being me ;-P

Am I going to get hated on by the younger gals and older dudes? Bring it on 😛

That IS the road I’m going down on, n loving it 🙂 … and no, the fact that some of them want to get married, to me or anyone else, doesn’t bother me. I have, and will continue to wish them luck and set them free to chase their rainbows. It’s just that when we step out together, a lot of the reactions are …. interesting. Friends, strangers, doesn’t matter…. They range from nudge-nudge-wink-wink to sniggers to envy to outright contempt. Things can get … awkward. And kinda oldddd :-/ I’m not the most self-confident person to begin with, and sometimes it makes me want to run like hell in the opposite direction… 😛

And hey, on a related note for all the single ladies out here: practically all the guys I’ve dated have been mature for their age (n with no discernible mommy issues lol) and NOT to pass judgment on any of you or mean it as some kinda telling comment on girls today but… here are some of the words these guys have used to describe single girls their own age, reproduced verbatim: lame, no constructive hobbies, boring, clingy, desperate for commitment, immature, only wants to hook up(!), self-absorbed, mall rats, too bossy, controlling, no kindness, no depth. Not sure how much of this commentary is age-specific, so take it with a pinch of salt if you like… but I can tell you, there are loads of awesome guys out there who are excellent bf material and are looking ONLY to love and be loved, whole-heartedly, without reservation, without overt or hidden agendas. Most of them can sniff out agendas a mile away… and its a major turn-off 😛 … Bleggh!! Just be pure-hearted lovers and let the laws of attraction take their course… Amen. Good luck y’all 😀

Just stumbled across this and love it, I think you’re awesome from just reading this blog and you’ve given me motivation to pick myself out of this pity rut Ive been in since breaking up with my ex girl (and shattering my heart and soul at the same time). Its been 8 months and its extremely difficult coming to terms with leaving the person I loved very much, but it was an emotionally abusive relationship and she destroyed my confidence so :-/

Any way I’ve had a few dates and a lot of interest but I’m not ready and the answer isnt in another girl its in me and getting myself back to loving me and my life and enjoying all the things I loved before I met her 🙂

It’s so lovely to hear from you and so glad that this has been the launchpad to get you back on your feet and back to what you love doing.

I’ve got to be honest with you – my fiancee and went our separate ways nearly 4 months ago. It’s been very tough but strangely enough, when I was going through a rough patch, I decided to re-read my own article and take some of my own advice.

It’s been tough and exactly like you, I know I’m not quite ready to take that kind of plunge again just yet, but I’m in the process of rediscovering me, and doing what I enjoy doing.

I truly am grateful you stopped by to leave me your message and share your story, and I’m so glad it’s been useful to you.

I was lying in bed this morning feeling SO miserable and sorry for myself. Thinking that I didn’t want to be this person who’s happiness depended on a partner, yet realizing that this is exactly what I am doing to myself.

Then I grabbed a coffee and found your article online. It made me smile and laugh and all the negative feelings about maybe being rejected dissolved a little. It is safe to say that it made my day! I especially like your point about how you view rejection.

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