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HOMECOMING MISSOURIAN
SOCIETY
Ex-President Roose
relt and Bob Barman
arrived this morning
In the latter's'Donner-,rn-BlItfccn
Benx. At
this moment tbe Col
onel Is taking a little
nap In the oce of the
Ninth Street Garage
as he was nearly ex
hausted from the Jour
ney. They made the
trip from Chicago to
Columbia In four
houni. Bob is driving
the President's car at
tbe head of the parade.
Billy Sunday is the
suest of Prof. V. L.
Martin today, having
come from Los An
geles at the invitation
of his former college
roommate. They en
gaged In Mr. Sunday's
favorite exercise this
mornlnc a light wres
tling bout Mr. liar-1
tin winning lour out
of ten rounds.
quarry south of towi.
Vhlle no details have
been given out as to
the refreshments. Dean
KirLensIager was
heard to order a lar.je
tub, 200 pounds of ice
and twenty-five pounds
of rock salt to be de
livered through the
side entrance to tbe
association bnlldlng.
STARS IN FLAG
Miss Eva Johnston
will entertain a few
intimate friends after
the game at a pink
tea at ber home on
Keiser avenue. The
out-of-town guests will
be Venus Degginer.
Menzie MeClalne and
Satan Sanderson.
Mrs. Jesse Wrench
entertained the Civic
League and Horace
Major, successor to Ed
Crumbaugb, at ber
home last evening. The
club, with tbe assist
ance of Mr. Major,
drew up a resolution
demanding that the
annual Missouri-Kansas
melee be called ofT
because it spoiled the
looks of Rollins Field
to be torn up by the
cleats on tbe men's
shoes. They recom
mend that if the game
must be played that
tbe players should take
off their shoes. The
resolution was pre
sented to the athletic
committee, who de
clined to act on it.
Mrs. Harvey Wille
and Miss IIunMns,
who have the envied
distinction of having
spent fifteen days in
Jail, are the guests of
Mrs. Walter McNab
Miller. They will car
ry their militant ban
ners and picket Gov
ernor Gardner at the
game this afternoon.
Tha Anti - Suffrage
Club will have a box
at the game this after
noon, with Mrs. Laura
Reed Yaggy and Mrs.
Henry Ware Allen as
SnesU.
The Young Men's
Christian Association
and the T. P. B. will
Have a wiener roart
tonight at tbe rock
Mans Journalist Stu
dents In Service
of Country.
Tbe service flag at
the head of the jour
nalist section In the
parade contains sixty
stars, one for each
student of tbe School
of Journalism now In
national service. Near
ly all the men have
enlisted of their own
accord and the School
of Journalism is proud
of tbe record its stu
dents have made. Tbe
banner nlll float from
a flag pole over the
entrance to the Jour
nalism Building after
the parade.
CROOKS PRESENT
Mitch on Job to Save
Loose Chance.
To cope with the
crooks who have been
arriving dally In Co
lumbia to take the
money away from the
old grads before the
fraternity Shylocks get
to them. Chief of Po
lice Whltestdes has put
an even dozen plain
clothes men on the po
lice force and at this
minute they are per
flating through tbe
crowds watching this
parade to see that
none of the light-fingered
gentry purloin
any loose chance from
the pockets of the vis
itors. Charles Mitchell, bet
ter known as Mltcb,
the college cop during
the good old days,
has leen reinstated for
the benefit of the old
grad. to whom Colum
bia would not be Co
lumbia If they did not
see the corpulent guar
dian of the morals of
the city stalking about
the streets.
The other members
of the police force. Bill
Miller, Jim Fentonand
Pleas King, are now
watching the parade,
blind to the fact that
crooks might be in our
midst. But why de
prive them of a pleas
ure that only comes
once every two years?
But it's a good thing
that the plain-clothes
men arc here.
22c
PER POUND
- J.r
Jaykawk Featkers
KLASS
Kcmtssion eXtmpany
BTNG'S Pqp GCN"
Hero of Recent Drive
Says Toy Started
His Successes.
Byng! Biff! Bang!
This is the sentiment
of the famous general.
Mr. Byng, who went
far into tbe lines of
Von Hindenbure in
the great war recently.
When asked as to his
tactics, Mr. Ka-BlfT
beg pardon Mr. Byng
said: "How do I do
It I Weil, it's simple.
nM vi-t, Avar nnn a
champagne cork? Did
you ever ourst a u.u
loon ka-blooey? It's
too simple. I oughtn t
to tell you. but wait
I've been told by the
censor never to over
look an opportunity to
break into print. I
once had a pop-gun
of course, that was be-
fore I became Mr.
Byng but. bang! how
that gun popped!
v.aii fitnw T became
older and knew that I
must serve my coun
try, I decided to bump
into the thing right.
So. here I am. And,
true to mr name. I am
boys right and left."
"Will the war enu
this summer?" Mr.
Byng was asked.
"Ka-BIff! the great
man nearly exploded.
"Do you dare to sug
gest that the war end
that soon? Why, i
can't be a big enough
man to run for king
that soon. Dear me,
no. Merci!"
Pillow Flxbt?
Bookworm Did you
know they used to
flgnt in pajamas In
the olden days?
Fishworm Impos
sible! Bookworm It says
right here, "and ye
goode King Arthur
went forth Into bat
tle with his royale
knlghtes."
- Cat
Owners ' )' mtlkt as sell
let us ccerkaul your
car as amy one else.
I
H't return all left
over parts.
J. Hon.
Entailer
We're For Herbie
' We never waste food by giving
you too much for your money.
We serve lunches and dinner
at our own convenience.
SNARUS
Let Us Clean
The
Jayhawk
Feathere
off that
Tiger
Tiger Cleaners
"Furs Renovated"
9
Call Ui We started 5 minutes ago.
TREATLESS
DAYS
Bring that girl
t
ELLIX'S
and make her go
Dutch .
She'll say
"Dulishuss"
i
Ratatx
F0UTl!t
DlS
'vcirr
Gertie,
Ch'tnmie's
A quid, restful jw
..
' The caiterpaon'f
i bother you
The Calms
at
THE
CALMS
Skollege Kids
Lots of Lids
Not JreaHsliitit different from an.
thing else you'll see.
Essen Bees
"Old Styles Shosn Longest"
I to 11 7 to 11
Pay Less Buy Oftener
We don't make our
clothes to last that's
why it is cheaper to
buy 2 suits of our
elbthes than 3 some
where else.
The Gasblow Jailers
I