Heidi MacDonald is the founder and editor in chief of The Beat. In the past, she worked for Disney, DC Comics, Fox and Publishers Weekly. She can be heard regularly on the More To Come Podcast. She likes coffee, cats and noble struggle.

@johnrobiethecat – That’s a pretty rough comparison for Byrne. He’s got his faults, but they aren’t the faults Ed Wood had, and the two don’t really hold comparative places in their respective fields. Byrne’s an old star well passed his prime, Wood was an amateur who never grasped the basics of his craft and never achieved success.

You’re right Ben…All true and it was a bit mean. Its just so frustrating to watch over and over again. He’ll be considered one of the greats from those famous runs he had, maybe the FF being his peak art-wise . I don’t think his art’s changed since 1984 and all the quirky mannerisms he had then look a more freakish now. He was doing this in the 90’s so for me, past his prime is more like a prisoner of his own bad taste & baking so long in his big ego. The only thing able to check that now is lack of sales or interest which I’m sure gets his attention…

To make up for my harshness, here’s are some generous pieces of advice for Mr Byrne so he can do some much needed housecleaning and not get the back to the 80’s retro, weird comment with each new series. Maybe even get better. He should keep in mind a lot of people reading were born after 1984 so fame is fleeting.

1. Ed Wood had Tor, the bald headed guy in his movie who grunted and didn’t act. You have the Irish squat dude with the flaming, red head hair and mullet. Lose him! Never draw someone like that again. They offer no comic relief and weird everybody out. Even if its a homage to some uncle who gave you your first FF comic. If You have sit in a corner and bite a towel not to draw him, do so. He’s like your own Cheshire cat.

2. Ed Wood had a cast of regulars like Elvira girls and odd types. (That was Tim Burton’s best movie btw) John Byrne has 3/4 of the population with dimpled smiles, spiked hair & an 80’s Bridget Neilson fascination that never quit. Go to a hip coffee shop or city hair salon with a sketchbook Mr.Byrne and just draw current hairstlyles for 3 days. (This coffeeshop must have people in their 20′ to 30’s btw i.e. not Denny’s) Also study how to draw mouths with lips in a non shortcut style while you’re there.

3. Your good drawing space junk but not every interior looks like the Millenium Falcon or 2001 Space Oddysey, throw out your Dell PC and visit the Apple Store, ask the Genius there to show you anything shiny and new that has to do with minimalism. Make a mental note of his hairstyle and mannerisms while you’re at it.

4. Photoshop and comic papers have made many advances since 1984, it can do pretty nice shadows now that won’t upset your beautiful line drawings. I’ve even seen shadows in nature and mall-lit interiors like yours that give dramatic effect and mood, I would even hire someone who’s really good at coloring them. If you didn’t alienate John Romita Jr or someone at Image, they could probably find you a good guy.

5. Never do a comic about characters called Rock, Paper & Scissors again. And then have them fight giant monsters… Really I’m trying to help.

Also, no more 80’s, no more 90’s , no more New Jack City look a-likes. No more inside jokes that aren’t funny.Tweaks here and there like getting a good cowriter, inker and colorist that you can share profits with and sales shall rise. It would be good have you back (the better and more humble version if that exists)..whew…

btw, JB, it’s 2.99, you’ve got the wrong price on there, like I said ego….

The hypocracy of a retailer making fun of the exact same people he sells comics to is staggering. But it’s cool because we’re making fun of people beneath us, right?

Anyway, I don’t really care about Byrne’s anachronisms, his bigger problem is he just lost his skills somewhere. Yes, he can draw a pretty picture, but they’re composed all wrong. He puts figures in the wrong places, has a flagrant disregard for the 180 rule, etc.

He’s one of those people who, if he didn’t have the abrasive personality, could probably teach people a lot. Oh well….

Yeah, making fun of John Byrne in 2013, that’s really sticking it to the establishment and saying the unsayable, isn’t it? Good lord, he’ll probably be making fun of Howard Mackie next! He just doesn’t care who’s toes he treads on! What a brave iconoclast!