Forum » Topic: Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759
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Rizzo on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140721
Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:39:34 +0000Rizzo140721@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Good one
</p>Midfield Diamond on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140717
Fri, 28 Sep 2012 09:02:15 +0000Midfield Diamond140717@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Slightly disturbing, rather surreal, it must be a Wayland FP. 'Click here for full story' and yep, I'm right. Good stuff.
</p>antharrison on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140711
Fri, 28 Sep 2012 08:08:27 +0000antharrison140711@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>lovely and slightly subtle - well done
</p>Squudge on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140698
Fri, 28 Sep 2012 07:45:50 +0000Squudge140698@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>suspects this is truebiscuit.</p>
<p>5
</p>DustyBinLaden on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140685
Fri, 28 Sep 2012 06:31:34 +0000DustyBinLaden140685@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Well done with the FP. Tops.
</p>FlashArry on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140671
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 23:59:39 +0000FlashArry140671@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>A return to form - *****
</p>The All New Jeni B on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140667
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 23:35:22 +0000The All New Jeni B140667@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very nice twist on the usual Alien Abduction idea.</p>
<p>Some starships for you.
</p>Perks on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140665
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 23:24:11 +0000Perks140665@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>excellent fp (gush gush!!) stars
</p>button on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140630
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 19:47:53 +0000button140630@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very good
</p>charlies_hat on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140622
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 19:25:09 +0000charlies_hat140622@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I think it was Bill Hicks who said that the aliens abducting rednecks in the deep south should switch anal probes for a sterility / dentistry campaign...
</p>Psycadelic Squirrel on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140620
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 19:21:46 +0000Psycadelic Squirrel140620@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Um, is this the voice of experience Wayland?</p>
<p>And do you have a post code for this place?
</p>Anonymous on "Alien abductions ‘getting pervier’"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=48759#post-140615
Thu, 27 Sep 2012 18:57:10 +0000Anonymous140615@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Abductions by ‘Type 1’ aliens or ‘greys’ are becoming increasingly pervy, according to an eye witness. No longer satisfied with the data garnered from a simple anal probe, many are thought to be dabbling in increasingly bizarre fetishism.</p>
<p>Brady Shore claims to have been abducted by sex aliens multiple times, sometimes by one, but often by a group. The first encounter of the rude kind happened during a late-night walk from a bar on the outskirts of Clear Lake, Indiana. He was abducted, dressed in rubber and forced to gimp by his masters.</p>
<p>“You hear a lot about folks going missing round these parts”, claimed Shore. “My wife’s always reading out reports from the papers, and chuckling. Seems it ain’t safe for regular folk to walk alone late at night, you never know when you might get whipped off, or smeared all over in Jello.”</p>
<p>Shore can only remember sketchy details from many of his abductions, but he recalls that the interior of the ‘spaceship’ shares some similarities with a mid-90s RV that his wife's cousin lives in. “Captain’s chairs, a mini-fridge and a fold-out bed with all straps on, them aliens is nearly as advanced as they are depraved”, said Shore. Despite being constructed from materials well beyond Shore’s comprehension, he notes that their craft ‘smelled like patchouli oil, fried chicken and chipboard’.</p>
<p>Shore claims to have learned a little about his tormentors, and thinks there may be several sub-species. “I overheard one say they came, like, in 50 shades”, claimed Shore. “They sure do giggle a lot too. ‘Specially when I beg for release.”</p>
<p>Unfortunately, researchers believe that the more sordid details of the abductions may never come to light, as Shore is regularly subjected to an ‘alien mind wipe’. “I done be layin’ there, blindfolded and trying to guess at our altitude, when all of a sudden, my head gets enveloped by two great mounds of a flesh-like substance”, explained Shore. “After that, everything goes blank, and a bit sticky. Last time I heard a female voice saying ‘I was out of this world’, I think that was supposed to scare me into doing what they wanted.”</p>
<p>Eventually the aliens tire of experimenting on Shore, manage to restart the spaceship and drop him off at a bus stop. “It’s the darnedest thing, but I lose all sense of how long I’m ‘up there’”, said Shore. “My wife reckons it’s normally 2 or 3 hours. She says if I want to avoid being captured again, I should leave the bar around 10.15 next Tuesday, wearing suspenders, a latex thong and a gas mask.”
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