By Michael KlineThe news is full of headlines about the so-called bathroom law in North Carolina. We remember when this topic arose in NH several years back, so we know it is really about discrimination and ignorance, and has precious little to do with bathrooms or the workplace. There is, however a real challenge in the workplace that has to do with bathrooms and it ties directly into job satisfaction, turnover, engagement, accountability and productivity. The bathroom problem employers have is that their employees have been over-potty-trained. That’s right, I said over-potty-trained. Allow me to explain.I have many nephews, each of whom, I call my favorite. One in particular though, is special not only because he carries my name, but he carries the attitude I had through my childhood and youth. Michael the 2nd, (whom we call Version 2.0), has always declared that “school is stupid” until he left school and entered the work force. Now he declares that “work is stupid”. He is in pretty good company, including most of his generation and many of his uncles. More importantly, he may have a point. Could his point be made more eloquently? Of course. Let us not miss his point, however, lest we tick off the generation that will be taking care of us when we are in the nursing home. Version 2.0 woke me up to the reality of just how “stupid” school is and how ill-prepared students can be when they enter the work force, or adulthood in general.At age 19, Version 2.0 explained it this way. ”I just finished school, how do you expect me to make big decisions that affect the rest of my life, when yesterday I had to raise my hand if I had to pee?!” I take his point to mean quite literally, we control every little behavior of children and expect them to take responsibility seriously. They are over-potty-trained to the point of having to ask for permission to go to the bathroom! We do the same at work. Even if you don’t literally tell your employees when they can pee, do you tell them when they can think, what they can think and with whom they can share their thinking? The more we micromanage, the less we can expect accountability. Thanks to extensive research on the subject, we now know that employees value autonomy. Our antiquated education system, designed for the industrial revolution, prepares students to go to work in factories where thinking is discouraged. Our more modern workplaces require critical thinking skills, mastery, independence and commitment. This should be a match made in heaven, since the top three motivators that employees value most are mastery, autonomy and purpose. The problem might be that we older policy makers are still thinking old-school. We need to maintain control. Version 2.0 has a point about that, too. “Work is stupid” he would say, and he’s right because work is about control. Control kills creativity and violates the motivators of autonomy, mastery and purpose. We were taught that control is everything, without control we would have chaos, right? Well sort of, yes. Chaos invites creative problem solving. To keep the chaos focused on the goals and to have it converge in agreement and forward movement, we have structure. Structure means people can have freedom to think, violate previously sacred cows, question everything and go to the bathroom whenever they want. They also live with a self-regulating system of agreements on how they work together that encourages full participation and engagement that has a sense of purpose.Talk to your younger workers. The younger generations are not so different from us. What they are demanding is what we would have demanded if we thought we could get away with it. Thank them for making it ok to demand respect and engagement. We talk about the youth not having respect, but what they really lack is blind, fake respect. They have respect for people who recognize their value and voice. We older generations really were only faking respect for anyone in authority even if they did not deserve it. Those days are gone. Let us see what we can do, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said “to earn the respect of intelligent people and the affection of Children”. In my travels everywhere, amongst progressive leaders, I see a hunger for structures that allow for creative and cohesive chaos and risk taking. There is a yearning for leadership methodologies that create engaging, meaningful and respectful, safe spaces where amazing work gets done. It is the future of successful organizations. I think we need to decide if we would rather lead through the movement, or let our new 24 year old boss lead us through it.Michael Kline is a Certified RIM Facilitator and Certified Canfield Success Trainer for personal and group transformation. You can reach him through his website www.intus.life, or e-mail, mike@intus.life.

So often, we think we have just the right idea to solve a problem. It seems so simple, if we could just get others to see our brilliance, we could solve all our problems!My niece is staying with us for her annual vacation in the mountains, something she’s been doing since she was 8 years old, and her visits just keep getting more interesting. In the beginning, like most children, she had an answer for everything. Now, as she is applying for medical school, she is much more educated, and I am happy to report, wiser as well. She has realized something that many people either never realize, or at least do not like to admit. We do not have single solutions to most problems. Even simple problems have complex issues just below the surface. The following is a real question from Brown University Alpert Medical School application:

Imagine that you are approached by a multibillionaire philanthropist who wants to donate a substantial fund of money to a single project with the goal of “fixing the US healthcare system”. He or she asks for your expert opinion on what project this money should go towards; what would you advise and why? This led us to an interesting conversation about the real challenges facing healthcare – seemingly unsolvable by our government throughout history, unsolved by the insurance industry, the hospitals, the universities, the non-profits, the churches and the World Health Organization, but a reasonable question to present to students who have yet to enter medical school. At least we will learn how she thinks. Frankly, she thinks the school admissions folks could learn to clearly state a question, because as we picked this one apart, it could mean a wide variety of things, but that is another story.

If the intent of the question is to ask for one project that could have the most impact, as opposed to the one project that could “fix” the whole system, we could have a fighting chance. We discussed a few paths, none of which we decided on. 1. Buy congress. There’s a reason the food and chemical companies do this - this may be the least expensive path to getting laws changed that dramatically affect the safety and health of food, alcohol and tobacco, school lunches, insurance, etc. 2. Hire ad agencies to make the truth about health appear as sexy as the lies we get from industry that has a profit motive in conflict with health and wellness. 3. We always seem to have money for wars and fighting the marijuana trade (who would be happy to pay taxes). Surely, we could find a way to house, feed and treat mentally ill homeless people, instead of using the Emergency Department. I bet by now, you have some ideas of your own – universal healthcare? Repeal the Affordable Care Act? Go back to the system we hated before the system we hate now? Rely on charity and churches? Promote personal responsibility? Sue the fast-food joints? Get kids to be more active? If the question was to identify a single project, for which you have passion and why, that would make more sense.

To ask for a single project with the goal of “fixing the system” strikes me as absurd. How do you approach problems in your life or workplace? Do we look for a solution? Do we look inward to ourselves and think we can solve it alone? Do we look to the one person responsible and ask them to find a solution? Every problem is complex. We are inextricably linked to one another in so many ways. The ripple effects of our decisions cause unintended consequences for our employees, our customers, suppliers, neighbors, etc. A lack of easy solutions frustrates us, so we short cut to a simple solution that solves our immediate problem and we decide we will worry about other things later. This happens even with simple problems. For example, I went for an iced coffee and waited almost ten minutes because now, iced coffee gets in line behind all the specialty drinks. This can take quite a while on a busy day. I asked why they no longer just pour iced coffee the way they do hot coffee and learned they changed it a year ago to ease the burden on the front line people. I wonder if any customers were consulted before making this change. I am practicing being patient, and learning to embrace long lines when I have the time. Otherwise, on a busy day, choose hot coffee or leave. I wish I had a voice.

Does this sound familiar? Right now, we just need to “fix”this problem, whatever it is. My advice is to slow down. Invite the stakeholders, host the difficult and time-consuming conversation, review your true goals, and make a decision when you find the wisdom to solve a problem that is most win/win, and that is most congruent with the ultimate mission at hand. None of us is smart enough to do this by ourselves. Further, most problems require more than just a single solution.

Michael Kline is a professional facilitator, success coach and trainer. He may be reached through his website, www.klineseminars.com, or e-mail, mike@klineseminars.com.

Conway Daily SunAugust 28, 2013By Michael KlineSince the discovery of fire, humans have gathered in circles around the fire to tell stories, share ideas and solve problems. Today, our work circles have morphed into long rectangular tables and the fire has moved to one end, known as the PowerPoint presentation. Various members of the circle no longer tell stories. Instead, one speaker, who wields the remote control of the presentation slides, tells the story. Not surprisingly, most people think meetings are a waste of time. At home, the situation is often worse, partly because it is more important and partly because it should be under our own control to do better. At home, our circle gathering at mealtime is often lost to fast food on the go and eating at different times, with no time for sharing, caring or engaging in real communication. Do these things matter? If so, how do we fix it?

In the work environment, employees are looking for more meaning. Employers are seeking engagement from/with their employees. Their actions demand compliance, but seldom, if ever, promote engagement. Is this topic about motivation? Daniel Pink, in his book Drive, teaches us what science knows that business does not. Science knows that intrinsic motivation is more powerful than extrinsic motivation. Business thinks we are motivated exclusively by dollar incentives. Science knows that once minimal financial needs are met, money is not an effective motivational tool for most people.

Far more important, is being part of something important, making a contribution that matters, having positive relationships and feeling engaged. Think about the best boss you ever had. Chances are, that boss made you feel great about yourself and brought out the best in you. When you do your best work, I bet you were lost in the work, and did not notice the time passing or other distractions. We call that being in “flow”.Flow cannot be bought with the promise of a bonus. Positive relationships, engagement (flow), a sense of meaning and achievement happens when we turn off the PowerPoint and put the fire back into the center of our circle. (We use a candle as a reminder of the metaphor). It happens when we face each other and we have a different kind of conversation. It happens when we all tell our story with intention and we all listen to one another with attention. I must sound like I just got back from a hippie retreat where we all sat around a circle and sang Kumbaya. I did, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is wondering what is wrong with his or her business or family. The biggest real-life challenge to this concept is time and the biggest reward is anything you want.

All this takes time. So we risk productivity and we slow down. When we slow down and have this experience, we learn from one another. We make it safe for quiet people to speak and share their otherwise hidden wisdom. We identify real problems and solve them, instead of rushing judgments and covering up symptoms. We build trust. When we have trust, we make decisions faster and with more confidence. With trust, everything moves faster and costs less. In low-trust environments, everything moves more slowly and costs go up.

Steven Covey, in Predictable Results in Unpredictable Times, calls this “moving at the speed of trust”. When we slow down, and invest in the painfully slow, but hugely rewarding process of listening to and valuing one another, we actually are speeding things up.

The reward comes in the form of building a team that cares. Actually, we are building a tribe, who lives to come to the circle around the fire and share and care, and contribute their ideas and solve the group’s problems and commit to the collective future and who asks for what they need and who give what they can. We have the power to create such an amazing existence.

I found my inspiration for returning to this seemingly basic, yet complex and ancient idea of gathering and communicating, from the book The Circle Way, a Leader in Every Chair by Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea. I just returned from The Circle Practicum, a five-day intensive retreat (www.peerspirit.com) with the authors and a group of business people, teachers, legal professionals, ministers and dreamers who were so inspirational, I can’t wait to share more with you. Stay tuned, or contact me for details.Michael Kline is a local retailer, success coach and trainer. He may be reached through his website, www.klineseminars.com, or e-mail, mike@klineseminars.com.

Making Money from KindnessConway Daily Sun Wed. May 25, 2011By Michael KlineDoes Kindness Weekend have anything to do with business or is it just about school-yard bullying and politicians? I’d say it has to do with every aspect of our lives, but this being a business column, we should discuss kindness and its role in making money. I know; I’m crass.First let’s get passed the actual business side of this particular kindness event. In life, as in business, we get that on which we focus our attention. If you want more sales, focus on your sales efforts; if you want more kindness in your life, focus on kindness. It is more effective to focus on sales than to focus on fear of financial failure. It is also more effective to teach and practice kindness, than focus on fear of bullying or conflict. Focus on what you want. This event is simply a community wide focus on kindness.Cynics might say this is some sort of business gimmick, and I’m devaluing the message by talking about making money from it. Being involved in the event, I can tell you first hand it is about quality of life; both the benefits of kindness and making money. Kindness Weekend was conceived out of a desire solely for public benefit. To fund the event, the N. Conway Village Association invested in it to bring traffic to the valley, so it is being promoted as another reason to bring families to the valley for Memorial Day weekend. Of all the things we could create to sell for a profit, what could be more beautiful? The event is sponsored by The Evergreen Institute for Wellness, with their message that Kindness produces physical health benefits for the giver of kindness. When you do something for someone else, it can reverse feelings of depression, provide social contact and decrease feelings of hostility and isolation that can cause stress, overeating, ulcers, etc. With everything to gain, nothing to lose and no cost, who would even want to argue with that? So, what about you making a profit from all this?Business is about making money. Some think it is more profitable to be unkind. They are wrong. K=R=P is a formula Tom Peters uses to explain the impact of kindness on business. In 1982, Tom Peters authored the world-changing business book In Search of Excellence, and more recently, his new book 163 Ways to Pursue Excellence. The formula stands for Kindness = Repeat Business = Profit. Far be it from me to challenge the mind of Tom Peters, but I would change the R to stand for Relationships. The repeat business he talks about comes from the same relationship-building trust that increases productivity, reduces turn-over, sick time and labor problems with employees. Better relationships also help negotiate better terms with suppliers. So my version of the formula K=R=P is Kindness = Relationships = Profit.Consider an extreme example featured in a New York Times article in May 2008 – American Airlines and Southwest Airlines held annual meetings in Dallas on the same day. Airline pilots picketed the American Airlines meeting while Southwest pilots bought full page newspaper ads thanking founder Herb Kelleher for his 37 years of service. Animosity between management and labor is near impossible to navigate when there is no trust. We see this in our political system globally, nationally and locally. We see it sometimes with our own staff relationships. Without kindness, there is no trust, without trust, there is no relationship. Without relationship, we’re fighting and clawing our way through all our dealings. Kindness is no longer an option in business. It is critical to the customer and the employee and if you’re smart (and I know you are), you’ll make it critical with the supplier, landlord, neighbor and even wrong numbers. Everyone is a potential relationship.My regular seminar students and column readers know I talk a lot about building trust. In all business relationships, trust reduces cost and increases speed. Dr. Stephen Covey calls it “moving at the speed of trust” in his book Predictable Results in Unpredictable Times. If your customer needs a lawyer before signing a contract, it is far more expensive and time consuming than making a hand-shake deal. If you have to “sell” your employees on a new idea, you would enjoy greater productivity if you had instant buy-in based on trust. This is not to say you should expect people to follow blindly doing as they are told; those days of curmudgeonly bosses are long gone. This is about leadership, which involves employee in-put, which is a form of kindness. I hear some of you grumbling, so hear me out. I know that you know what you’re doing. I know you don’t have time for every employee’s ideas. I know you want to be able to trust your employees as well, to empower them to be their best. So how do you become the cultivator of employee engagement? We have a system for that! Yes, we have a system for everything, as you have surely read in previous columns. An effective business development process has a management system that provides the framework and structure for employee engagement in an orderly fashion that respects input efficiently, maintains focus, creates accountability and drives productivity like nobody’s business. It allows for, no – it requires kindness. Good thing kindness is free.In researching this column, I was online listening to Tom Peters lecture at Cornell University. When Tom tells you that his ridiculously over-the-top-big-time selling book In Search of Excellence really didn’t say anything more than take care of people – maybe there’s something to that. How to make it fit in the real world can be complex, but the message is simple.Albert Schweitzer said: "Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."That’s good for business.Michael Kline is a local retailer, success coach and trainer. He may be reached through his website, www.klineseminars.com, or e-mail, mike@klineseminars.com.