Thursday, February 28, 2008

I don't know if I've done a proper confession here but I LOVE to eat. Some things more than others but food is one of my favorite things. I did a post at the beginning of the year on my favorite diet treats but that just makes me sound like a pillar of self control. Not so.

No, in fact I've have my binges with the best of them and here's the most memorable. I warn you, it ain't pretty.

1. Brussel sprouts. Susan at Food Blogga posted her recipe for Brussel sprouts on Botox a year ago and I've made it up seven or eight or twenty times since then--oh they're good. As it happens, I love Brussel sprouts. I get kind of excited when I buy them at the grocery store (especially if I'm shopping hungry) and I usually buy more than I should but no one here besides me will touch them. I know! I'm shocked too! Anyway, last time I made them I kind of horded them and ended up eating the batch. The whole batch. In fact, after eating so many I got pretty sick which my children found oddly humorous--the fact that someone would eat so many Brussel sprouts of their own free will that they'd get sick cracked them up. They just don't understand me at all.

2. Twigs. Do you remember these cheesy-sesame bits of heaven? I don't think they make them anymore but I really remember them fondly. I used to buy boxes in college periodically though I don't think I can make a box last longer than a day.

3. Half a bag of Caesar salad croutons. This one may be my most recent bitter regret. Oh sure, they tasted good going down but who wants to wake up at three in the morning remembering the indulgence? They stayed with me as a garlicky penance for half the next day. Darn salad.

4. Vlasic pickle relish. This one's specific--I'm not really a pickle relish connoisseur or anything but Vlasic makes this dill relish that is really good. No, REALLY good. So good I caught myself eating a spoonful straight from the little expensive jar with nothing to accompany it. Then another. And another until who needed hot dogs? I'll just skip the processed meat product and go straight for the condiment--a meal fit for a white trash king.

5. Smokehouse almonds. Who was it who first looked at an almond and said, "You know these little babies are good and all but what they really need is some hydrogenated soybean oil, some fake smoke flavoring and a ton of salt? Well whoever he is (and I'm betting it's a HE, this has "male" written all over it) was a genius. I can eat a whole can at a sitting if someone doesn't shoot me first. Save me from myself!

7. Cheese in general. I LOVE cheese, but my favorite thing to do (and this is just embarrassing to admit) is to cut off a chunk, throw it on a plate and nuke it until it's a little cheesy puddle on my plate then slurp up the melted strings with moans of satisfaction. Yes I'm odd. But it tastes mmmmmmm . . .

8. Nachos. Which reminds me of my nacho experience. You see when I was a kid there was a neighborhood Quick Stop that was at the Outer Limits of the Biking Border--or the farthest place we were allowed to ride on our bikes for a good portion of my childhood. They had this magnificent candy store there where you could buy every candy on earth (I was partial to the little Sweet Tart skeletons that came shaped like tiny bones in their own little plastic coffins. How morbid is that? What next? Dissect-a-Frog bubble gum pieces?) Anyway, I used to ride my banana-seat bicycle to the Quick Stop and buy my contraband there and I remember secretly buying a giant sized bag of Doritos. I don't think Mom ever knew. Or she probably did--I bet the ring of powdery neon orange around my lips was a dead giveaway.

9. 1-pound bar of Hershey's chocolate. While I was buying the nachos I decided that the perfect accompaniment to the meal would be a monster bar of chocolate. Without almonds--that would have been too healthy. This lasted only a little longer than the bag of Doritos--but not much.

10. Arby-Q sauce. Oh man I love this stuff! I hardly ever eat at Arby's, it's kind of expensive and all, but boy I do love their special barbecue sauce. If they bottled it I'd buy it for sure--though maybe that wouldn't be a fabulous idea because I'd probably end up drinking it. Anyone who's opened one of the little packets and dumped the whole contents into her mouth can't be trusted with a whole bottle of the stuff. And she probably shouldn't be allowed to be around children either--of course it's all just hypothetical of course. If someone actually ate that kind of thing . . .

11. Pizza. I've never told Andrew but I bet I could put away a whole pizza by myself (just like I've never told him what I weighed at the time that Grace was born--that's just my little secret). I'm such a pizza fan that I've only once met a pizza--or a topping--that I didn't like and the rest didn't live long enough to tell the tale. Luckily I have my husband eating with me at most times at night which keeps my pizza binging in check, otherwise I'd be doomed. DOOMED! You know how they say don't drink alone? Well I don't eat pizza alone.

12. Donuts. Same said about donuts, there isn't a kind they make that isn't a temptation--though the cake ones aren't my thing so much. I can resist those pretty well but then for some reason I don't think they qualify as legitimate donuts per se. You've got to have yeast to be a donut in my book. Persians . . . Bavarian creams . . . cinnamon twists . . . plain old glazed goddesses . . . maple bars . . . jellies . . . apple fritters . . . egg donuts . . . they don't stand a chance around me.

13. Cherry pie filling. Oh this deserves the number one spot because I still have trouble with this stuff. I love it love it love it and can snarf it down if I'm left without supervision. Mom used to keep cans of the stuff in the pantry when I was a kid and what does it say about me that I'd sneak a can and eat it just like that? I don't think I've mentioned it to Mom, I should probably come clean and fess up after all these years of quiet guilt.

Gosh now you've gone and made me hungry. You have to try making brownies with those LARGE Hershey's chocolate bars. You make a brownie mix and put half on the bottom of the pan, then put three of those large Hershey bars (I prefer dark chocolate) on the batter and then cover that with the remaining batter...yum yum!

I always thought you were a fairly normal, if not an exceedingly crafty woman. Now though... I realize that you too are human. I think of all you listed, it was the dill pickle relish that put me over the top. I just started participating in TT too, though my food list is not nearly as interesting as yours!

I think I love you, Michelle! I hold you in such high esteem, that a post like this makes you seem like the rest of us peons - kinda like seeing a celebrity with cellulite on her thighs . . .

I have never tried a Brussels sprout before, although I've had a bag of them in my freezer for the better part of a year now (yikes!). But I have to agree with just about every food item you've listed. Speaking of eating things directly from a jar, I do that with jarred pesto. Mmmmm - no need for noodles.

Oh my goodness- I've never met anyone else that loved Brussels Sprouts as much as I do! I am ADDICTED to Vegan with a Vengeance's recipe for garlic braised Brussels sprouts and hubby has banned me from making them for a while. I've not been able to eat anything but soup anyway lately, but still, I long for them!

Arby-Q sauce alone??? Hmmmm...never thought to try that. I don't think I have quite the affinity for the stuff though. I have the same binge eating problem every now and then. I wonder what my list would look like. Never thought to write it out but I just might now:)

My sil LOVES pickle juice. She would rather take a big swig from the jar than eat a pickle. Weird!

I checked out the Brussel sprout recipe and since grocery day is tomorrow, I'm going to try them. They do look delicious, something I NEVER dreamed I'd say about brussel sprouts.

Thos donuts look like Krispy Kreme. 12 gone in seconds!

Lately, TLC Pumpkin Flax Seed bars have been my weakness. The saving grace is they are wrapped two to a pack, so most of the time something kicks in to save me from eating the whole box! Oh and triscuits....keep the box back!

I am the brussel sprout lover in my house. Earlier this month it was expected my husband would be in Florida for a week for work. This meant I could adjust the grocery shopping to indulge the tastes we don't share. I cought a heaping container of luscious fresh brussel sprouts. His trip was cancelled! I got to enjoy a wonderful brussel sprout soup (two meals a day, three days in a row) and have my husband at home. Heaven.

I am struck by the comment that Vlasic dill relish is expensive. I'm a real cheapskate and all but it's the same price as the sweet here and one of the least expensive condiments I stock. Maybe Alaskan economics isn't in my budget?

I could never stay inside an Arby's long enough to try the food. The smell of the barbeque never agreed with me.

I have to admit to the same petty theft of cherry pie filling from the pantry (hanging head in shame), but it was so good! You know that I'm going to be headed to the grocery store soon and if some cherry pie filling finds its way into my cart, I'm not responsible.

Oh, man. Now I'm so hungry. In addition to many of yours, I do this with Goldfish original crackers. The box says a serving is 60. 60! 60 would surely take forever to consume. So I can just keep eating them, right? There's probably only about 60 in the whole bag...right?

Okay, brussel sprouts? That is just gross! My husband absolutely loves them, and I have failed miserably as a wife by preparing them exactly once in 16 years of marriage. Sorry, I don't cook broccoli either. I am definitely not winning any contest of "Best Vegetable Preparing Moms Ever." Corn counts, right? And cucumbers? So I'll be watching for that cucumber recipe. Thanks for the laughs.

Love your list, here's where we agree...I love brussels sprouts! I never get them cos nobody else in my house will get near them (sigh) Twigs are sooo good! Cheese is ALWAYS better melted (and brie rocks)Doritos - oh love the cheesy powder goodness (and I remember those skelaton candies hehe)Doughnuts, yum yum but can't eat more than 2 or I feel sick

My go to food is SmartFood popcorn. I can polish off an entire bag lickety split. And then you get to lick the cheesy residue off your fingers...I gatta go to the store!!

I had a similar experience to the brussel sprout incident only mine was with prunes. I actually think prunes are tasty but don't make the mistake of eating the entire box in one sitting! Talk about an upset stomach.

I am afraid of that Brussels Sprouts recipe. AFRAID. I have also eaten so many Brussels sprouts that I have gotten sick! It is all I can do to keep from chowing all of them down while washing/peeling/cutting them!

This post made me hungry. Mmmm...pickle relish....Arby's...mmmm. I think I've been to that same candy store when I was a kid! I got grape bubble gum shaped as a hamburger and it came in a cute little fast food style container. Fun memories.

I found your site this AM and LOVE this confession. I was quite sick over the holidays and lost a bit of weight - enough to keep me motivated to lose more and now your post is a great motivator at this plateau time in my diet. I'm going to rush right out and get the brussel sprouts. I love veggies of any kind as long as there is flavor and those sound yummy!

Amen to the smokehouse almonds!! Also I can easily polish off half a bag of croutons also. in fact if I hit a salad bar the caption could easily read "would you like some lettuce to go with those croutons. I love those things.