Monday, January 31, 2011

I think I'm in love with the idea of being in love. As much as I hate cliches, this one is very evident in my life right now. I'm afraid of settling, or saying "oh well, it's not like the most perfect guy is going to walk into my life, so I might as well go with this one." Not every guy is perfect, but I know better than that. I know that God knows what I need now, and what I'll need 10 years from now. I am learning more and more what I want in a husband, but I know that God knows not only what I want, but what I need.
I have felt so stinking tired lately, and a little fed up with life and just people in general. I'm not used to being surrounded by people, or loud people, or being a leader, or balancing so many things in life. I'm tired of pleasing the world and trying to make people happy, then people guilting me when I don't come through. Even when they don't realize they're guilting me...it's just that small look they give you, or that staccato "oh" after you say "no".
I'm dealing with a lot at 24, and I feel like if I'm this busy now, where in the world will I be in 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years? As much as I admire women who run themselves ragged in sacrifice for others and to keep everything moving because if they aren't there the world will fall apart, I don't think my heart can handle that. I think I'd hate my life.
I miss having days of sitting around, drinking coffee, and writing.
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Saturday, January 8, 2011

We continue on with Lady in Waiting, chapter 3 - Lady of Faith. For any Christian, this chapter's title may sound like a resounding "duh", but don't write it off too quickly. I read through this and found myself guilty of a lot of the things talked about.
As women, we are constantly "spouse-hunting". We tend to focus so much on finding a guy, that we neglect to keep growing our inner selves. Why do we as women change churches and communities only because there aren't any "perspective single guys"? That's shallow. We join ministries because the cute guy who plays guitar is in it, or we sign up for a trip because it could be a chance to get to know some guy.
Where exactly are our motives here, ladies?
If God wants to bring you the "perfect guy", He sure doesn't need you to help Him. God knows your motives, and He knows when you're ready for a guy. Proverbs 16:2 - "All man's (or woman's) ways seem innocent to him (or her), but motives are weighed by the Lord." When you're around an available guy, are you being sensitive of your motives? Just because the guy doesn't know your motives, God sure does.
Why are we so afraid that God won't come through for us? We know He loves us, and wants what's best for us, so why don't we trust Him? You know what the opposite of faith is? Fear. That's exactly what the enemy wants for us.
You know how Ruth met Boaz? She chanced upon him. God brought Boaz to Ruth in a real way. How cool of a relationship would that be? I don't think it would feel as special if I kept trying to set up the meetings the guy I ended up with.
Listen to this story from Lady in Waiting:
"God brought His best for one woman all the way from Escondido, California to Kenya, Africa, where she was serving her Lord. She was not anxious about the absence of available men. After a broken engagement and a couple of years of less-than-satisfying dating, Vivian had volunteered to go to Kenya, Africa, to teach missionary kids. Just before she left for Kenya, she attended a Bible study where she met a precious Christian guy named David. Had she not been leaving for Africa that week, they might have had time to become better acquainted. Frustrated by the reality of meeting such a fine, Christian guy just before leaving to go halfway around the world, Vivian followed the Lord to Africa with "eyes of faith". Little did she know the script God had written. Halfway through her first term on the field, a construction team arrived from the United States to do some work for the academy where she taught. Guess who was part of the team? You got it: David. He and Vivian not only got acquainted, but they also married right there in Kenya. Just as Jesus brought David to Vivian, Jesus can bring your life-mate to you, no matter where you live" (Kendall, Jones, p. 46).
Ladies, quit distrusting God and start living a life for Him. When you are lost in Him, He'll bring you Mr. Right. Distrust leads to sin. Trusting leads to a great life now and the best life later.
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