Ask Sam letter

To Sam1 April 2017

I don't want any friends anymore.

Hi Sam, I just want to ask you for some advise. I have a few friends but I really don't like them, I am O.K with one of them but I don't like anyone else. How can I stop talking to them? They occasionally knock on my door, but I don't like going outside much because strangers look at me and its really scary. I like one person because we share similarities and I enjoy talking to them, everyone else is not like me and I don't think they really like me and they want to do something bad to me. I am not fond of meeting new people and interacting with others, I have some friends but how do I get rid of them without hurting their feelings? I don't want them all to gang up on me if I say that I don't like them.

Sam10 April 2017

Hi there,

Some people are social and like to be around lots of people and have lots of friends. Others like to be on their own and enjoy doing their own thing. Not wanting to be around people all the time doesn't mean you don't like them, it just means you need some space.

It's important that your friends are people you want to be around and that you can trust them not to hurt you or do bad things. If you feel like the people you hang out with are bullying you or intimidating, it's okay to not see those people any more. You get to choose who your friends are.

Some people are introverts- this means that they can find social situations exhausting and are happier when they are on their own. It doesn't mean they don't like people or don't enjoy being with friends sometimes, but it can be stressful for them. I don't know if you are an introvert, but if you feel like you might be, there's nothing wrong with this. Sometimes not wanting to go out can be a sign of anxiety or social fears. These are more complex problems that you could speak to a doctor about if you want that to change.

A way to help your friends understand would be to tell them how you feel. You've told me how you feel about going outside and how you find it hard to interact with others and new people - perhaps you can tell them that too. Being assertive can help you explain how you feel without being rude. True friends should understand and give you space when you need it.