Tech Talk: New cases dress your phone in style

Published: Monday, March 25, 2013 at 6:30 a.m.

Last Modified: Friday, March 22, 2013 at 4:33 p.m.

I really want to go commando. There. I said it.

When you see the slender curved bodies that are redefining sexy today, it's just too hard to cover them up from the eager and lustful eyes of the world.

Of course, I'm talking about smartphones. I must admit when I disrobed my iPhone 5 from the box last fall, all I wanted to do was hold her, stroke her and let everyone with eyes to see and touch her, too.

The new HTC One? Call “The Donald” because she is Miss Universe material. Samsung Galaxy S4? I can see taking her out for some late-night ice cream.

What is the point?

Cases are boring. Spending hundreds of dollars for a beauty queen device just to stick it in a $10 jelly case just seems like blasphemy. You don't see Mercedes Benzes driving around with Styrofoam bumpers, do you? Well, leave it to your friendly neighborhood tech columnist to introduce you to some new cases that are putting the “cool” back in “coolio.”

Bubble Wrap case: Pinch me. A case covered with little bubbles that make popping sounds when you press them. Cue drool. This is every stress-mongers dream case, so, naturally, I want one. The new case from the Japanese company Strapya sells for $21.99, which is pennies on the dollar if it keeps you from kicking the dog. There is an awkward promo video on the web showing a hipster Asian guy looking rather turned on by popping these iBubbles. I must give this guy credit for the premise behind this column.

Gridcase Reactor (with hand crank): This little firecracker is still in the crowd funding stage, but the premise is a hand crank that attaches to the back where you can literally charge up your Android battery as if it were your great-great-grandpa's Model T. Sure, it's completely overpriced at $149 and understandably ridiculous. Still, the thought of teenage girls everywhere charging up their phones by hand to squeeze out a couple hundred more text messages is enticing enough. If you're game, head on over to Crowd Supply and be one of the early adopters to make this corny idea a reality.

Aqua Tek S: Hang with me for a second because this beast is about as sexy as Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem. First, it's waterproof down to 20 feet. I don't know about you, but I often send texts while I am diving. It also comes outfitted with solar panels, which can be helpful, especially if you're not up for hand cranking. The drawback is the $130 price tag and the fact that it's big enough to cover a school bus. All jokes aside, this baby got back and could be quite the adventurer's dream.

Opena Case: By now we have all come to realize that a smartphone case with a slide-out bottle opener is the missing link in our tech arsenal. It's billed on the Opena website as “the perfect gift for the guy who has everything,” although I would argue that most guys who need a case with a bottle opener probably already use their teeth anyway. That or they have a Zippo lighter with the same functionality. Regardless, if this tickles your fancy it can be had for a respectable $39.95.

There you have it. Four cases that will make dressing your smartphone feel like you're headed out to the red “shag” carpet. Call them what you will, but they are far more interesting than that $10 jelly case you've been using.

<p>I really want to go commando. There. I said it.</p><p>When you see the slender curved bodies that are redefining sexy today, it's just too hard to cover them up from the eager and lustful eyes of the world.</p><p>Of course, I'm talking about smartphones. I must admit when I disrobed my iPhone 5 from the box last fall, all I wanted to do was hold her, stroke her and let everyone with eyes to see and touch her, too. </p><p>The new HTC One? Call “The Donald” because she is Miss Universe material. Samsung Galaxy S4? I can see taking her out for some late-night ice cream.</p><p>What is the point?</p><p>Cases are boring. Spending hundreds of dollars for a beauty queen device just to stick it in a $10 jelly case just seems like blasphemy. You don't see Mercedes Benzes driving around with Styrofoam bumpers, do you? Well, leave it to your friendly neighborhood tech columnist to introduce you to some new cases that are putting the “cool” back in “coolio.”</p><p>Bubble Wrap case: Pinch me. A case covered with little bubbles that make popping sounds when you press them. Cue drool. This is every stress-mongers dream case, so, naturally, I want one. The new case from the Japanese company Strapya sells for $21.99, which is pennies on the dollar if it keeps you from kicking the dog. There is an awkward promo video on the web showing a hipster Asian guy looking rather turned on by popping these iBubbles. I must give this guy credit for the premise behind this column.</p><p>Gridcase Reactor (with hand crank): This little firecracker is still in the crowd funding stage, but the premise is a hand crank that attaches to the back where you can literally charge up your Android battery as if it were your great-great-grandpa's Model T. Sure, it's completely overpriced at $149 and understandably ridiculous. Still, the thought of teenage girls everywhere charging up their phones by hand to squeeze out a couple hundred more text messages is enticing enough. If you're game, head on over to Crowd Supply and be one of the early adopters to make this corny idea a reality.</p><p>Aqua Tek S: Hang with me for a second because this beast is about as sexy as Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem. First, it's waterproof down to 20 feet. I don't know about you, but I often send texts while I am diving. It also comes outfitted with solar panels, which can be helpful, especially if you're not up for hand cranking. The drawback is the $130 price tag and the fact that it's big enough to cover a school bus. All jokes aside, this baby got back and could be quite the adventurer's dream.</p><p>Opena Case: By now we have all come to realize that a smartphone case with a slide-out bottle opener is the missing link in our tech arsenal. It's billed on the Opena website as “the perfect gift for the guy who has everything,” although I would argue that most guys who need a case with a bottle opener probably already use their teeth anyway. That or they have a Zippo lighter with the same functionality. Regardless, if this tickles your fancy it can be had for a respectable $39.95.</p><p>There you have it. Four cases that will make dressing your smartphone feel like you're headed out to the red “shag” carpet. Call them what you will, but they are far more interesting than that $10 jelly case you've been using.</p>