Lots of Signs To Show You That "He" Is Not 'Mr. Right'

Updated on June 19, 2013

I promised to do this a few weeks ago. And the way I was raised, a promise is a promise.

So here it is. My alter-ego hub, “Lots Of Signs To Show You That He Is Not ‘Mr. Right,’” which will go with my other hub, “10 Signs To Know That She Is Not ‘Miss Right,” and I sincerely hope that all of our single ladies who are on the verge of matrimony will read and heed to this story.

Please let me be clear. This piece is only for the single ladies who are in a relationship with a man and eventually marrying this man, or dating a man occasionally and maybe one day be his wife.

These 12 dead-sure, spot-on “Lots Of Signs That He Is Not ‘Mr. Right,” will not help you ladies who have already said your, “I do’s,” and now some guy’s companion.

And to the ladies who are already married, I apologize for this story not being able to help you. Believe me. It was not my intention to hurt your feelings in any way.

The “Lots Of Signs To Show YouThat He Is Not ‘Mr. Right,’” starts right now.

Girls, do you really want "this" man for a mate?

Source

OTHER TELL-TALE SIGNS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND ISN'T "MR. RIGHT

He's ready to fight anyone anytime. | Source

Cannot work well with others. | Source

You have to calm him down from those mysterious flashbacks. | Source

You have to act as his punching bag. | Source

It's his way or no way. | Source

He never compromises with you. | Source

He steals money from you. | Source

He drives you to the breaking point. | Source

He's a terrible listener. | Source

He's a "power freak." | Source

EARLY WARNING SIGNS THAT HE IS NOT "MR. RIGHT"

He always burps even when he isn't eating.

He scratches his "privates" in front of your parents.

Cursing is his way of using "polite" conversation.

Sobriety is not one of his strong points.

He's always making animal noises in his sleep.

He's always making animal noises in his sleep while he makes love to you.

He's secretive--never tells you what his last name is making it awkward for you when you are introducing him, "friends, this is my boyfriend, 'Jim.'"

His anger is set-off like a keg of dry gunpowder.

His idea of fun is to visit people on "Death Row," and none of these people are related to him.

You ask him can you trust him, and he has trouble understanding the word "trust."

You have to explain to him how to open a pop-top on his soda or beer. Mostly beer.

Girls, "please," I am begging you, read this again and again, and if any of these strike a nerve with you about your boyfriend being like ANY of these items . . .DO NOT MARRY HIM.

Unless you are a magical princess with the power to snap your pretty finger and change him over-night.

And if you are, pop-in to my life and take all of my bad traits away. Deal?

1. On every date he has to talk to this “other woman,” for two hours, and she is his mother.

2. He protests that men are not to trim their nasal hairs.

3. You could make some good money selling tickets for people to see him explode when he loses his temper--which is most every time you are late to pick him up for dinner.

4. At dinner, you do all of the talking while he texts his buddies. And I am giving him the benefit of the doubt.

5. His idea of a good job is begging Sears to let him pose for the next catalogue as a ladies underwear model. (He isn’t gay or a pervert, but grows angry when you ask him to explain why he wants to model women’s under garments.)

6. While you are out of the room, he torments your pet Poodle named, “Lawrence.”

7. You catch him on your phone in your kitchen placing huge wagers on teams that even you, a non-gambler, know will lose. And lose big.

8. On dates, he always wants you to go with him to “Madam Whip’s House of Torment,” as a change of pace.

9. He says that when you and him are married, his brother, “Max,” won’t be living with you two but for three years--until he gets on his feet.

10. His pitiful act causes you to buy him a new wardrobe, but you discover during a trip to the bathroom in his apartment that he has closetful of clothing.

11. He insists that you introduce him to women (he’s never met) in your favorite dance club, but what makes you angry is that he keeps a straight face.

12. His story of him once being “big in “cattle,” turns out to be a “windbag” story for when you ran a background check, his only connection to cattle was a job as a farmhand on a cattle farm in Lizzard Bluff, Arkansas.

Comments 18 comments

Lots of Signs To Show You That "He" Is Not 'Mr. Right', glad I haven't met anyone with such character, interesting and most useful indeed.

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

Funny! I have avoided most of these types, thank goodness!

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and funny. Oh, my this sure made me laugh. That guy in the last pic is really a loser. lol

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Kenneth,

First I thought this was hilarious... now I'm just concerned... are you telling me that there are guys that DON'T do this? Holy cow... I've been misinformed!!!

Up and awesomely funny!

Cat (hope all is well)

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, DDE,

Thanks for your sweet words, and you are welcome.

Consider yourself blessed at NOT meeting of "these" guys. You are wiser for waiting.

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catgypsy,

I hope you are well. Thank you so much for NOT meeting any of these men.

I've always known that you are very intelligent.

Call me if you need me.

Love, Kenneth

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi there, GypsyRoseLee,

Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it very much. To make you laugh makes me feel good.

You are a treasured friend.

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

I see you there, Cantuhearmescream,

Your remarks were delightful. Loved them. Yes, there are men who ARE NOT like these guys.

If you find one, you write a hub that says, "Signs That Tell Me "He" Is "Mr, Right," and I'll be the first to comment on it and share it.

skye2day 3 years ago from Rocky Mountains

kennith you r too funny. This one struck a nerve. On every date he has to talk to this “other woman,” for two hours, and she is his mother. I was very serious with a mamas boy not only once but twice. Wow am I grateful that chain was broken. It was tuff competition. Loving your mother is one thing but taking her on the dates and then moving her in is another! Oh Lordy this makes me think of the men I was drawn to at one time. I am so thankful Ido not need to go there again. Praise God Almighty.

Today Iwould have to say there is one credintial. Jesus is Lord and Savior and he know it and live it. God has a way of shaping and molding us and transforming our hearts. He loves us sinners, Amen. He died for us.

1." On every date he has to talk to this “other woman,” for two hours, and she is his mother." This reminds me of a guy I use to date years ago. He would invite me over, the phone would ring and he would be chatting for over an hour to this girl. It was a friend of his who I had met. Found out from his room mate after we had broken up that she was more than just a friend. I already knew it. Women know these kinds of things.

Yes, God does mold and shape us with trials and valleys, and I've learned to love Him for that.

The guy who at age 24, still talking to his mom more than his pretty date, well I question his manhood.

Thank you and God bless you.

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan,

You my friend, are a very wise woman. Always pay attention to the red flags when they pop-up, for they are saying, "watch out! Trouble ahead."

Thank God you didn't go any further with the two-timer.

Thanks for your comment, votes and all.

:)

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

I'll be working on that dear Kenneth :D

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

June 19

Hey, cantuhearmescream . . .are you finished with the hub I mentioned??? I'm not a patient man.

I can't wait to read your hub about "signs that he is Mr. Right," for I'm dying to be first to comment.

Love, your friend, Kenneth (no relation to Prince William)

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

No... you mustn't tell me you're impatient... I've got to find out what the 'signs' are yet! For that matter... I've got to find 'Mr. Right' yet. Ha ha ha... Maybe I could write a hub about being lost and confused?

Thanks for the laugh... please, be patient!

Love, your friend, Cat (Short, for trembling like a Chihuahua) ;-)

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Cat,

Okay. I will do my best to be patient, but remember, I'm first to comment on this future super-hub you are writing.

Lost and confused might be a good appetizer.

Love your name, Cat.

Love, Kenneth, your friend for life

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Dear Kenneth,

I have to say I'm relieved to hear you're willing to be patient... though I secretly wonder if you're not toying with me... know there is no such thing as 'Mr. Right'? Hmmm.... if this is something you know, you could share and I may be a little less lost and confused :D

Thank you my dear!

Love, Cat, your friend for life!

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Cat,

Nope, dear. I am being straight-up with you. I don't know anything of a secret nature. And I won't toy with you because I hold you up in highest respect. Truthfully.