My Story with the Quran: How I Left
Islam; How to Fight It?

"Without raising an eyebrow, I also read about Mohammed's
genocide of the Jewish tribe of Bani Quryza. I had developed the
concept that committing Islamic genocides against the Jews are no
more disturbing to an Arab than slaughtering a herd of cattle."

In practice with other Muslims, during the month of Ramadan, I
used to read the Quran from cover to cover, a tradition that stayed
with me all my life as a Muslim. I used to plan the event so that I
would finish the last chapter on the 27th of the month of Ramadan. I
used to experience some strange and disturbing feeling about the
quality of what I was reading. That feeling used to get worse as I
went through the chapters and by the time I got to the last few
chapters it reached its peak. Those 'satanic' feelings were
especially troubling because I used to read those last few chapters
on the 27th day of Ramadan, which is known among Muslims as 'Laylat
al quadr' when the spiritual feelings supposed to be at its
zenith. However, I was a well-trained Muslim and knew what to do in
such circumstances; I used to pronounce the famous sentence "auzu
billahi mina shaitani al rajeem" to seek refuge with Allah from
the Satan, whom I blamed to be behind my 'satanic thoughts'!

My problem was that, as a Muslim, I was supposed to believe that
the Quran has a superior language style that is impossible to be
matched by a human, but deep in my mind I wasn't truly convinced.
The above allegation is essential to Islam and Muslims use it to
support their ultimate lie that the Quran has a divine origin. In
connection with the above allegation, all the Arabs seem to believe
that all the legendary Arab poets and writers, in the past and
present, were stunned by the Quran, which is another big lie that I
also believed. To me, It was unthinkable to allow myself to be the
odd one out. It was also totally unacceptable to my Islamic mind to
live without being genuinely impressed by the Quran and
legitimately believing in Allah's superior writing style. Therefore,
I self censored my thoughts and silenced my mind and covered it with
an Islamic mask to conceal my real doubts. I blamed my standard of
knowledge and my poor language taste for not properly appreciating
the eloquence of a good book!

I spent several years suffering from that psychological conflict
between what truly I believed and what I was supposed to believe. I
was aware that those 'satanic' thoughts were there deep in my mind
and would surface unless I continuously suppress them, which I did
well. In those days, if someone asked me about what I thought about
the Quran, I would have given an automatic answer in support of the
common Muslims' assertion, without even being aware that it didn't
represent my real feeling. Fearing of the thought of being branded
as an unbeliever, I kept my secret sin to myself and never mentioned
it to any one no matter how he/she was close to me.

Those days, the myth of the so-called scientific miracles in the
Quran was not yet an issue and I never associated the Quran with
science. I accepted the Quran just as a religious message from Allah
to the early Arabs, revealed in their own language and at their
level of knowledge. I was aware that the Quran was not particularly
scientific when it mentioned things like the flat earth or the
development of the embryo. During that period nobody claimed that
the Quran has scientific miracles, and all the ambitions of Muslim
scholars of that time were to emphasize to the ordinary Muslims not
to examine the Quran with a scientific perception. Those days the
Muslim scholars promoted the Quran as a language miracle, which is
another myth that all Muslims believe. Considering that the vast
majority of Muslims have no or very little knowledge of the classic
Arabic language, it is safe to conclude that the vast majority of
Muslims who defend the above claim do not actually know what they
talk about.

Moving to the West

When I moved to the UK in the late 1970s, I was already a
non-practicing Muslim who hardly thought of Islam or read the Quran.
I started to have more contacts with the non Arab Muslims, usually
friends and colleagues. I was amazed by their zeal towards Islam,
and their ability to read some suras from the Quran in Arabic, which
is not their language. They claimed that reading the Quran gives
them a calming feeling, and envied me because, they thought, I
enjoyed the full experience as I read the Quran in my own language.
They were all in agreement that the Quran should be read in its
original language to appreciate its eloquence and style. I found it
strange that somebody who does not speak the language can make such
an assertion with such a confidence, especially that unbiased
readers think that the Quran is in fact far better after
translation, which sanitizes it from many of its blunders and
weaknesses.

Though impressed with the faith of the non Arab Muslims in the
Quranic style, it did not convince me of their postulation. The
opinions expressed by the non Arab Muslims cannot be genuine since
they do not speak the language of the Quran. Those Muslims were
obviously repeating what others told them. This is also true for the
majority of the Arabs who can hardly write an error free sentence in
classic Arabic, but fiercely guard the myth of good standard in the
Quran. The opinions expressed by those Muslims helped me to come to
my conclusion that to be convinced of the alleged high standard
of the Quran you only need to be a Muslim, no knowledge of Arabic is
required.

I moved to another town but maintained contacts with my Muslim
friends. One of them was so worried about my liberal understanding
of Islam that he kept sending me some free Islamic literature to
strengthen my faith. Those booklets were superficial and boring; I
only read them to improve my proficiency the English language. But
eventually my friend succeeded when one day I received from him a
copy of Baucailles' book about the Quran and science. I read some
parts of it like the origin of the universe, the shape of the earth
and the development of the embryo. I didn't find any of the
arguments presented in the book to be convincing but surprisingly I
liked the book! I only liked it because the author happened to be a
Christian who believes the Quran had scientific miracles! That must
be a big win for Islam.

I must say that the Baucaille factor brought me slightly closer
to Islam. I started to acquire some other Islamic materials about
the miracles of the Quran. I had a friend who brought me some video
tapes of the activities of sheikh Zendani, a wahhabi Muslim who
presided on a Saudi organization dedicated to propagate the
scientific miracles of the Quran. That was the time when Professor
Keith Moore was recruited, probably by this organization, to quote
the Quran in his embryology book.

In the late 1980s, I made two work related trips to Saudi Arabia
and performed a mini pilgrimage, called omrah, during each of them.
I had a firsthand experience with how the Saudi regime brainwashes,
not only its citizens, but also all those who come to the country
for work. The Saudi/ Wahhabi system expects all Muslims to adopt
their own understanding of Islam which, they claim, is the true
Islam. I resented that claim in private but I must admit that I was
wrong and the Saudis were right. All employees had to stop work for
half an hour to perform the miday (Zuhr) and afternoon (Asr)
prayers. It caught my eye that when the Muslim employees, of any
nationality, read something during their breaks, they read either a
newspaper or the Quran. There was a good number of Quran books
stacked in the coffee room to keep with the high demand. I was
shocked by the obvious manifestation of racism in the Saudi society,
but even more shocking was the speed at which the other Arabs and
Muslims switch to adopt a Saudi life style like wearing a white
dress (thub) to look like the Saudis, and improve their standing in
the society.

I visited a big bookshop in Riyadh and was amazed to see that
Islam related books dominated the display. I browsed some of the non
Islamic sections, like history, to find all the books on display
were the ones that were in line with the Saudi/Wahhabi system. I
also noticed a good number of books about dreams and jinn, which are
essential parts of the Islamic culture. I also spoke to many local
'intellectuals' and despaired of the way they see the world and
think of the others.

During those visits I had a chance to meet with some Syrian
friends whom I haven't seen since the days of the university and was
surprised to see the level of thinking they had descended to after
spending so many years in Saudi Arabia. They were advocates of the
Zindani's claims about the scientific miracles in the Quran. Their
only proof was the common Islamic myth that all scientists in the
world are waking up to those 'facts'. They made me watch more of
Zindani's tapes but I didn't find any of his claims to be
scientifically convincing. Also I didn't like the practice of his
group to fund and organize conferences to overpower some
international scientists and tempt them to say some positive remarks
about the Quran.

I became suspicious about those claims and my suspicion made me
go back to Baucaille's book and read it again, this time with an
unbiased and open mind. My aim was to look at a convincing argument.
My first alarm was to learn that the author was working for the
Saudi king, because, from experience, I knew that most westerners
working in Saudi Arabia would do anything to please the Saudis. Then
I read the specific scientific areas, which the author claims that
the Quran comes in agreement with science. The more I read from
Baucaille's book the more I became disgusted about how low some
scientists are prepared to descend to please their masters. In
short, Baucaille book was based on twisting the language to come up
with a suitable meaning. It is interesting to note that Baucaille's
book has been in circulation for decades but I never met an Arab who
had actually read it, although they all praise it with enthusiasm.

The fasting month of Ramadan was approaching fast and with it
begins my traditional reading of the Quran. That year was the first
and only time in my life I felt eager to read the Quran. My aim was
to study the Quran rather than just read it. I was mainly interested
in having a general contemplation of the language style and the
contents of the Quran. By then, I already made up my mind that the
scientific issue was a myth and intended to ignore it during that
reading and focus on the language, but I couldn't. Having just read
Baucaille's book, I couldn't help noticing that the Quran made
serious mistakes whenever it touched on a scientific issue. Those
scientific blunders that never caught my eyes in the past have
become major obstacles to me in accepting the Quran.

I couldn't help noticing that:

The Quran commits
Islam to serious mistakes in describing the origin of man. Muslims
are still in dilemma as to what to do about it.

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the shape of the earth.

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the origin of the universe,

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the space (sky) and earth and
referring to both in equal terms.

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the formation of mountains and
claiming that Allah dropped them to stabilize the flat earth.

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the development of the embryo.

The Quran makes
serious mistakes in describing the heart as the center of
intelligence and completely ignoring the role of the brain.

The list can go on and on. In short, the Quran only agreed with
the common knowledge of the seventh century Arabia. This is clear
from the fact that the early Arabs never objected to the above
information because it was the information they knew already. The
early Arabs wrongly believed the earth was flat, so did the Quran.
They wrongly believed that the mountains were dropped on the flat
earth to stabilize it, so did the Quran. They wrongly believed that
the sky was attached to earth then separated by god, so did the
Quran. They wrongly believed that the heart was the center of
intelligence, so did the Quran. They wrongly understood the
development of the embryo and so did the Quran.

That reading in the late 1980 was my first and only reading of
the Quran with an open and critical mind. However, it wasn't a
complete reading because I had to abandon it after only a couple of
weeks when it became clear to me that the Quran is not worth
reading.

I came to the conclusions that:

The Quran is full with
major scientific errors. The myth of scientific miracles is
designed to cover up those errors.

The Quran is full with
grammatical and other language errors that would never be accepted
in any other book or from any other writer.

The Quran has been
deliberately wrapped by confusing sound and visual effects so that
it doesn't look like a normal book when heard or read.

The Quran is full with
repetitions of stories that have no relevance to our time, or even
to Mohammed's time. Such repetitions account for nearly one thirds
of the book.

Some verses are
incomplete, while others contain irrelevant insertions or seem to
be completely out of place. It is likely that the scribes or the
people who collected the Quran committed such errors.

There is almost no
resemblance at all between the Meccan verses and the Medina
verses, a fact well known to Muslims. However, the Muslims'
explanations are not convincing. We do not expect Allah to change
his style or dialect when Mohammed moves from one place to
another. A more logical explanation is that the authors or
Mohammed's sources have changed.

Humans' errors of the
scribes and the people responsible of the early collections of the
Quran may account for many of its errors. Some verses could have
been included more than once (hence the excessive repetitions) and
some may have been misplaced or gone completely missing.

The myth of scientific miracles in the Quran is a replica of the
myth of language miracle. In the last few decades, the Muslim
scholars employed all the resources available to them to spread
their big lie that claims the Quran agrees with science. They used
every possible means: schools, mosques, printed publications, TV
programs and international conferences and more. Muslims believed it
and now talk about the issue as an agreed fact that is supported by
another fact that most of scientists who read the Quran were
convinced. This strategy was used successfully to spread their lie
that the Quran is a language miracle that stunned all the early
Arabs.

Gradually, I started to gather enough pieces to complete the
picture. The Quran is all about myths and big lies. As I
started thinking about the Quran, the inevitable happened and I came
to my conclusion that the Quran could never be divine. Once the
Quran was stripped off its divine halo everything looked different.
I watched with disbelief as everything I learned about Islam
suddenly became meaningless. I felt betrayed and angry because of my
wasted years just to follow a liar. At the age of forty, I had to
rethink everything about my life all over again. I felt lonely as I
couldn't discuss my thoughts with anyone around me; I knew well what
the consequences could be. I also knew well what could happen to me
if my relatives, back home, find out what I think of Islam. My only
option was to live with two personalities, my real personality and
an Islamic one, which I put on whenever I am among relatives or
friends in Syria. In other words I started to practice a non Islamic
taquiya!

I moved away from Islam at a time when most Muslims seemed to
move towards it, which made me feel even more isolated. I was firm
and confident of my decision, there was no way back. I maintained my
relations with other Muslims but never disclosed my thoughts to any
of them. My friends and relatives already know me as a 'liberal
Muslim living in the west' and not keen on practicing the
religion. I am keen on maintaining that image, the only change they
noticed about me is that I stopped rejecting Mohammed's ahadiths and
sira (life story).

I resisted all the financial temptation to return and work in the
Middle East. My presence in the UK helped me to live my life the way
I wanted and to control my contacts with the Islamic community.
Although I never wasted an opportunity to carefully disseminate the
seeds of doubt in the minds of Muslim friends and colleagues, but my
strategy was just to ignore Islam and live without it. For years, I
did not give a minute of thought to Mohammed or the Quran; I put all
behind my back.

I maintained my visits to Syria as well as other Middle Eastern
countries like Jordan and Egypt. I became increasingly worried about
the obvious signs of Islamification of the people in those
countries, especially in Egypt. Those years in the 1990s, the world
had daily loud alarms about what the Islamists can do. Every week we
heard about the massacres carried out by the Islamists in Algeria
against other Muslims. The Islamists occupied villages and
slaughtered their inhabitants by cutting their throats! Hundreds of
thousands of Algerians lost their lives in that way. In the 1990s,
Egypt also was a play ground for Islamists, but the victims were
European tourists. The Egyptian president frequently blamed the west
and the UK in particular for opening its doors and protecting the
Muslim terrorists. The Islamic organizations made no secret of their
hatred to the west and their wish to destroy it. I just couldn't
understand the western apathy towards the coming threat. My only
surprise about 9/11 was that America was surprised!

My freedom of not practicing Islam started to come under threat
with the rising Islamic influence in the UK, my adopted country. One
day, I was outraged when a Muslim asked me why they do not see me in
the mosque and why my wife is not covered. It became so obvious that
the Islamification of the UK was proceeding at an alarming speed.

The picture was really gloomy and depressing as nobody in sight
seemed capable or willing to stand to the evil of Islam, which
openly threatens all what civilization stands for.

Fortunately that all changed a few years ago. One day I was
surfing the Internet and stumbled upon FFI. I felt like I spent
years in a deserted Island then I spotted a ship. That night, I
spent hours reading the published articles about Islam, and was
surprised of how little I knew about Mohammed. I soon realized that
FFI, IW and other similar Internet sites are the first real force to
face Islam since its birth. All those who fought Islam in the past
did so using their military forces and were only interested in
political or military gains. Internet sites like FFI and IW are
interested in exposing the truth of that evil cult that lives in
darkness and survives on lies. This is the first time in history
when Islam is under pressure to provide convincing answers to
protect it from the light of the truth. But Islam has no answers.