PINK'S LESBIAN PARTY

Olympic golden girl Stephanie Rice is fast filling her
bank account, having graced the cover of three magazines this week,
appearing in a reality TV show and topping it off with a turn on
the Sydney cocktail circuit.

But where oh where is our other great star of Beijing,
Matthew Mitcham?

Channel Seven's deal with Rice is worth $700,000 alone. While
some would argue a case of Rice-induced indigestion resulting from
the swimmer's overexposure, corporate demand for Mitcham has not
caught up with his enormous popularity and is in danger of
flatlining for the diver.

Just like Rice, Mitcham looks like a sponsor's dream: an Olympic
gold medal, undeniably articulate and good looking.

Oh, and he's openly gay. Indeed he was reportedly the only gay
in the (Olympic) village.

Rice's manager Chris White argued sexuality would not
hold Mitcham's earnings potential back. "It's about consistency of
performance and personality. Swimming is a sport with huge interest
in Australia and sponsors are attracted to it."

Unlike Rice, there have been no mega-buck deals signed with
Mitcham, who has already turned down a rumoured $30,000 tell-all
offer from Woman's Day.

Ian Thorpe made millions in sponsorship but spent years
avoiding the much-conjectured subject of his sexuality. Mitcham
publicly outed himself long before Beijing. As a result some
marketers say Mitcham's face may never grace a box of children's
breakfast cereal as Thorpe's did.

Mitcham is on holiday in France with his partner Lachlan
Fletcher, and is due back in Sydney next month. Friends say he
finds the focus on his sexuality "tediously predictable".

Last week US broadcaster NBC apologised amid claims of
homophobia after failing to comment on Mitcham's boyfriend, as it
did for partners of heterosexual competitors. NBC Olympics
president Gary Zenkel said "we missed the opportunity to
tell Matthew Mitcham's story".

Mitcham's career is managed by Ian Hanson, owner of
Hanson Sport Media. Hanson did not return PS's repeated calls.

Mitcham's mother Vivien previously told the Herald
her son deliberated about publicly coming out: "He was worried
about that factor of sponsorship But I think everybody has
caught up now."

Time will tell.

Recovery abroad for Jones

Reg Grundy, 84, and his age-defying wife Joy
Chambers flew out of Sydney last weekend with some very
precious cargo aboard their $74 million private jet: a recuperating
Alan Jones.

Friends inform PS the happy trio flew out on Reg and Joy's
airborne gin palace - personalised with their initials "RJ"
emblazoned on the tail - and were heading for the warmer climes of
the northern hemisphere, possibly Bermuda where Reg and Joy have a
"beach shack".

However, with Hurricane Gustav causing all sorts of trouble in
Bermuda (a golf tournament was cancelled and a few palms denuded)
their flight would have been a bumpy ride. Jones was also expected
in London before returning to Sydney.

Jones, 67, is due back on air on September 15, and has had
treatment for prostate cancer which friends say has "knocked him
around a fair bit", resulting in a much longer stint away from his
beloved microphone than initially expected. In July Jones's
surgeon, the director of the St Vincent's Prostate Cancer Centre,
associate professor Phillip Stricker, performed a radical
prostatectomy using the new $3 million da Vinci robot, carefully
controlling the robotic arms fitted with surgical instruments and
cameras to spare the nerves to preserve erectile function,
continence, quality of life and recovery times.

Buff biff and Heff

DON'T mess with the Heff, especially naked on a rugby field.

Last Saturday a young man wearing nothing more than a smile
unleashed his inner naturist and bolted across the field in Hunters
Hill during the Joey's/Kings rugby match.

As the streaker approached the end of the field, delicately
hurdling a barrier fence (he cleared it by a whisker) to a waiting
pile of clothes, the ballsy exhibitionist met up with one of the
match's spectators - a fully clothed Senator Bill
Heffernan.

The pair became uncomfortably entangled with various appendages
swinging in the breeze before crashing to the ground.

"You could say I was involved in an accidental collision,"
Heffernan chuckled down the line after ditching a high-pitched
falsetto when PS first called.

However, the Heff denied he was trying to tackle the streaker
and was adamant he had no interest in making close and extremely
personal contact with the nude bolter's nether regions. Heff copped
an eyeful.

While he denies his tackling prowess on the rugby field,
Heffernan is all too familiar with the intricacies of a verbal
scrum - leaving more than a rugby streaker battered and bruised in
his wake.

Last year he apologised to Julia Gillard after calling her
"deliberately barren" when questioning her political ability. Back
in 2002 he accused openly gay Justice Michael Kirby of
"trawling for rough trade" using his taxpayer-funded car. Heffernan
was forced to apologise to Justice Kirby and resigned as cabinet
secretary after the claims turned out to be based on forged
documents.

PRINCESS PEERS BACK

Barricades, a small army of police and security guards wearing
earpieces and dodgy suits surrounded the new Victor Chang Cardiac
Research Institute in Darlinghurst on Wednesday night as the
Packers, Lowys and Danish bluebloods gathered for a
gala dinner. But they forgot one vantage point: the billiard room
at the neighbouring Green Park Hotel with its uninterrupted view
into the inner sanctum of the VIP party. PS spent the night up
against the pub's window, cheek-by-jowl with several beer-swilling
patrons watching the rich and famous at play. It wasn't long before
the paparazzi had arrived. Camera-ready Princess Mary looked
bemused as she peered through the glass walls into the crowded pub
window to see her "adoring subjects" brandishing camera phones and
schooners.

A WRAN REUNION

Among guests at the dinner in Darlinghurst was Neville Wran
and his formerly estranged wife Jill Hickson. The two left
the party together. In January, PS revealed that 18 months after
they ended their 30-year marriage, the Sydney power-brokers were
the picture of familial unity during a week at Lord Howe Island
just after Christmas. After their separation, Wran moved out of the
Woollahra family home, leaving Hickson with son Hugo, 17,
and her 19-year-old daughter, Harriet. Friends inform PS the
couple have reunited.

HIDING INDIGO

The Australian Women's Weekly has long covered the events
marking the Packer family's private lives. The Packers retain a
stake in the mag, but even the AWW has failed to secure
shots of little Indigo. Back in 1966 the Packers did things
differently. Baby Gretel Packer posed for a series of nude
photographs commissioned by her grandfather, the late Sir Frank
Packer. Meanwhile, Gretel was photographed in the arms of a
dashing dark-headed man this week, with claims the bloke was her
new beau. Ah, not quite. PS recognised him: Sotheby's honcho and
confirmed bachelor Justin Miller.

HIP HOP UNHAPPY

The US-based DJ Samantha Ronson, girlfriend of Hollywood
starlet Lindsay Lohan, was the star attraction at the
Hilton's Zeta Bar's third birthday on Wednesday night. Not that
there was much to be attracted to. A sullen-faced Ronson refused to
talk about her famous girlfriend, though minus Lohan she barely
registers on the celebrity radar. About 8.30 Ronson climbed into
her DJ box which was covered in lights and spewing smoke. It was
lifted towards the ceiling as Ronson plugged in her laptop and
started playing. Even the veteran party animal Maria Venuti
looked out of place among the assembly-line socialites. Maria and
her Venuties spent most of the night trying very hard to look as
though she was enjoying Ronson's "scratching".

CAUGHT OFF-COURT

Lleyton and Bec Hewitt have managed to remain
unphotographed for an entire month - until this week. PS hears
their in-laws have been doing their bit by driving "decoy" cars and
leading photographers on wild goose chases across the country. But
expect to see photos of pregnant Bec popping up next week in a
weekly magazine, one of the same mags they publicly criticised last
month, accusing it of making up stories about them.

PSsst

The battle of the marquees at this year's Melbourne Cup is shaping
up to be a right royal catfight with Sarah Ferguson, the
Duchess of York, being touted as a guest at not one, but two
marquees. But her Sydney-based sister, Jane - lovingly known
by her friends as "Fergie Downunder" - said she doubted Sarah would
make the trip, despite being bombarded with invitations. She also
doubted she would bring either or both her daughters, the
princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, who are fifth and
sixth in line to the British throne. However, the Duchess has made
the trip for far less significant engagements, including flogging
fine porcelain tea cups in shopping malls. But her services don't
come cheap - up to $120,000 for a personal appearance.