Adele’s new song from Skyfall debuted today — and everyone’s going ga-ga-goofy over it! But that news has completely overshadowed the bigger scoop about the latest James Bond movie! Apparently, while fans were distracted, producers quietly retooled the entire movie to make it more air-travel friendly! No doubt they’re after those sweet, sweet product placement dollars. Scoundrels!

In last night’s Presidential debate, Mitt Romney vowed to kill Federal funding for Big Bird if elected President. After consoling the millions of weeping toddlers across the nation, we wondered what Mitt’s Christmas card would look like if he does assume the Oval Office and make good on his promise. Snuffleupagus, beware!