"…then there was the year we homeschooled the kids!"

Redemption Blog

I do not have ample time to write. I also don’t have time to say that I don’t have ample time to write, but still end up going off on a tangent that makes for a pretty lengthy blog. However, I do feel the need to post a redemption blog. So here it goes:

Today was SO much better than yesterday. I would like to say that it was all due in part to an incredible run this morning. Only a runner can understand, but when you have several days of painfully not wanting to run, yet you force yourself to, then all of a sudden snap out of it, and have an entire run that seems to put you on a high, it’s exhilarating. (Holy cow, the commas in that sentence make me nervous. Correct them if you must, but please know, that I really do not care as much as you might. Nerves now relaxing.)

After a great run, then a shower, then getting dressed, I felt like a total, complete, and utter human! And, only stay-at-home mothers will understand that one. Today was slightly different from the norm, which is always nice to experience every once in a while. Our morning took us to church instead of to the books, where Jane and I put in volunteer time with the churches consignment sale. For a couple of hours we helped take items back as they came in, putting them in the right location to prepare for the sale this weekend. Jane was over-joyed to help out. I’m still trying to figure out if it was healthy, or not? Seriously, wouldn’t most kids like being in school with other kids, sitting quietly at their desks, snickering when the opportunity arrives, or listening to the teacher lecture? Instead she was so into being around a bunch of moms at church sorting items. Okay, I’ll let you figure that one out, too. Nerves relaxing again.

After church, a brief visit to the doctor for Annie, and lunch, we finally started our school day. Thankfully, all three girls were in a calm mood. They sat down like 1/2 angels (my kids are never the 100% angel type considering that they are too assertive, persistent, spirited, and creative to fit such a standard) to start their work. Annie joyfully completed a few assignments her teacher had given her on the letter D and traced her name several times. She even took the time to write “Annie” in a bold rainbow of colors underneath the “Anne” her teacher had printed out for Annie to copy. Annie is, after all, assertive, persistent, spirited, and creative. I’m wondering if the next one will come home with the added “i” in “Annie” for her to copy.

Jane breezed through her first few subjects in english, handwriting, spelling, science, and religion. Then we came to phonics in which we have hit a bit of a rough spot. Most people might feel a little sorry for their children when they hit an area of difficulty, but I was overjoyed by this. No, don’t be ill-minded, I wasn’t happy that she was feeling frustrated. I was happy to have the opportunity to teach her the tools necessary to work through her frustration effectively. See, Jane is very much a perfectionist by trait. Perfectionism is a gifted childs worst enemy. When she hits a spot of difficulty she immediately begins to decline. The tears start rolling, grunts start emerging with every stroke of the pencil, and she finally attempts to just give up. For gifted children mastery is huge. Children like Jane, who tend to learn with ease, get very frustrated when they find difficulty learning something. Instead of working through it, their perfectionism gets the best of them. They then shy away from the challenge. As a result, what is at the heart of the issue, perfectionism, doesn’t get resolved. That can be emotionally damaging to the child’s sense of self and will most certainly resurface time and time again. My goal as a parent to a kid like Jane is to ensure that Jane is in a learning environment that is challenging. Furthermore, it is also my goal to help her learn the necessary tools to confront her frustrations with bravery, helping her to realize and confront her feelings while overcoming them. I want her to learn that the goal is never to perfect something, but the goal should be to try her hardest with her best effort to get a “good enough” result. I KNOW that must sound crazy. We live in a culture that is saturated with perfectionism. We want the perfect body, the perfect car, the perfect income, the perfect house, the perfect children, the perfect spouse, and the perfect answer to everything. That sentence alone makes me shutter. So many people tend to push themselves to achieve something they will never achieve: perfect. It’s not realistic. When we strive to do our very best, to try our hardest, and have nothing more than “good enough” to be our outcome, then we end up being happy with the results. So, we eat well, but we still have a piece of birthday cake. We also work out, but we don’t do it for vanity. We are okay with where we live, the car we drive, and the children we were blessed with. I definitely want my children to grow up with that realization.

For Jane, who in the first grade is currently reading on a sixth grade level, difficulty tackling something the like long u vowel sound was very disheartening to her sense of accomplishment. After the tears and the frustration, after the talk about nonexistent perfection versus the realistic “good enough” resulting from our best effort, Jane felt much better. Suddenly the long u sound wasn’t so daunting. “Frute” became “fruit”, and “sute” became “suit”, and I shut her book without even telling her that she had gotten them all right. I simply said, “Great job, Jane. Great effort. Way to work through your problem giving it your best effort. You did great!” Tomorrow I might tell her that she got them all right. Today’s lesson in phonics took a turn and went off course a bit, but at least I was there to help her learn a valuable lesson in return.

There… my blog. Not necessarily short. Not necessarily perfect. And I don’t necessarily care either way.

Goodnight!

OH, and on a final note: MY Annie, My AnnIe who was reluctant to let me know anything that was going on in her brain for the first four years of her life, ACTUALLY READ a little bit for me tonight. She has been very into letters and letter sounds. Her terrific school in combination with soaking up the opportunity to take advantage of this interest at home led to her being able to sound out words like “Dad”, “Hat”, “Had”, and “Sam” (parts of a first reader phonics book). 🙂 Way to go, Annie!!!