Tom was amazed as the stoic Commander lost it. He got up and started to

rant and rave. Chakotay went from angry to depressed to down right pissedoff. He alternately gestured wildly with his arms, stared out theviewport, and picked up several souvenirs Tom had picked up and handledthem as if they were weapons.

"I'm capable of command," Chakotay hissed.

Tom kept his peace and nodded.

"Don't you believe me, Paris?"

Chak was holding a sculpture as if it were a weapon, a club.

"Sure," Tom replied gamely. "Right after you finish working some of the

anger out." Tom stared pointedly at the sculpture.

Chakotay looked at the figurine and put it down. He started to chuckle,

and then laugh. Tom knew he wasn't really laughing, he had seen the painin his face. He stood up, went to the Commander and put a hand on hisback.

"Yeah, maybe just a little bit of anger," Chakotay said, as he set the

figurine down and turned to leave.

"Commander..."

"How many times do I have to tell you to use my name?"

Later, he tucked Chak into his bed and laid down on the couch to sleep.

*****

Chakotay spent most of the first part of Alpha shift moving around the

ship. He went to his office, and down to the mess hall and hydroponics.He was quite pleased with himself. He tried to pick a time when thereweren't many people moving around and he had been right. Even Neelix waspretty preoccupied getting ready for lunch. He went back to his quartersand began to review the reports he had received from Gamma shift, andmanaged to keep himself busy until early afternoon and his daily meetingwith Tuvok. He set his jaw and made his way to the Vulcan's quarters.They had a few new things to discuss today, and none of them had to do withRaton.

*****

Tom had pulled every string he knew to pull to get off the bridge that day.

He had gone to his quarters and began to work on something feverishly. Itwas a little rough around the edges, but it just might do the trick. Ithad required he access a few programs already in the computer banks, but itwas passable. He smiled and hit his com badge.

*****

Chakotay was sitting in the middle of his quarters when his com badge

sounded. He hadn't made it to his Spirit Guide yet, but he had reached aplace of calm. He blinked as he reached for his shirt. He was reallypleased with himself, that was farther than he had made it since...theplanet.

"Chakotay."

"Meet me in Holodeck 2," Tom's voice sounded cheerful.

Chakotay sighed heavily. After his little display of temper last night, he

was not looking forward to facing Tom. He tried not to think about what afool he had made of himself the night before.

Twenty minutes later, Chakotay walked through the doors.

"What?" Chakotay all but demanded.

"Hey, what did I do?" Tom asked looking up. Surprise was written all over

his face. Chakotay reigned his temper and embarrassment in.

"Nothing. I usually come apart on people," he said with a heavy sigh. Tom

didn't deserve his anger, but he did deserve a explanation.

"No big deal," Tom said walking towards him. "Computer protective

equipment for Commander Chakotay." It materialized. "Put this on."

"Tom what are you doing?"

"Anger therapy," Tom responded with a smile. He slipped one glove on

Chakotay's hand and began to lace it. Chakotay looked confused, how didTom know he used to box. "I'd volunteer, but I'd like to live." Tom washis usual joking self as he put the other glove on. "See, Chak I used todo this in the brig. When I couldn't deal with the anger and pain anymore,I'd go to the gym and box."

"Did it help?"

"Welterweight Champion." Tom flashed that smile. It warmed Chakotay's

heart to see it. "And after I got good, I found it very useful in othersituations."

for that, so I decided on the next person you were probably angry at."

"Tuvok?"

Tom's smile got deeper. "No. Computer materialize opponent." And a

holo-Tom appeared. "Just don't get us confused, okay?" Chakotay startedto say something, but Tom slipped the mouth piece in. Chakotay bit downand moved his mouth to settle the piece correctly. All the while, Tomprattled on. "You can turn up the skill level and you can turn the safetyoff."

Chakotay looked up at that comment. Tom shrugged somewhat innocently.

Tuvok had made certain stipulations regarding Chakotay's use of theholodecks and one of those was, he used that safeguard.

"Technically, Chak. I'm using the holodeck, so...." Again that smile.

Chakotay nodded, appreciating the pilot's ability to circumvent the rulesfor the first time. He slapped the two boxing gloves together and mumbled.

"Let's go."

About an hour later, Chak stood while the real Tom tended an injury over

his eye. He felt good. He was sweaty, tired, bruised and every single bitof it felt good. He felt alive, and he had managed to take 'Tom' down inthe last round. He hadn't stayed there, but he had taken him off his feet.

"Had enough yet?" Tom asked.

"No way! You're fast Paris, really fast."

"Okay," Tom said stepping back.

Chakotay moved towards the center of the ring, ready to take him down for

the count this time.

*****

"Boxing, Lieutenant?" Tuvok demanded. "You had the Commander beating up

an image of you for therapy?"

Once more, Tom was standing in front of Tuvok's desk at parade rest. This

was getting old, quick.

"It seemed like a good idea to me. You said he needed to deal with his

emotions. What better way to vent anger and frustration than to beat upthe guy who saw him tortured."

Tom wasn't foolish enough to think Tuvok was going to buy that excuse but

he didn't really care. He was practicing his own psychology - Paris style. He knew what he was doing, and there wasn't a force in the Delta Quadrantthat could stop him. With the exception of the Captain, he conceded, buteven that would be a fight.

"I would appreciate it, Lieutenant if you would leave the counseling to me.

In fact, Lieutenant, I would appreciate it if you would stay away fromCommander Chakotay until further notice."

"Is that an order?" Tom couldn't believe Tuvok would go that far. He knew

Chakotay was chafing under the man's control, and he was getting prettyupset with it himself. He was not going to leave Chakotay alone, as longas Chak didn't mind. Now, if he told Tom to go away, he would, but he hadmade no such statement. In fact, he appeared to enjoy his time with Tom.

The boxing match had been a success, so to speak. It was a good thing Tom

had brought a regenerator with him. He had programmed himself to have areally wicked left, which he didn't know Chak had a weakness for, but nomassive trauma was inflicted. The broken nose was quickly dealt with.

"It can be made into one," Tuvok said with that eyebrow going up.

"Look, Commander. If there's anyone on this ship that knows what Chakotay

is going through...it's me. And if you make it an order, I will go to theCaptain over it. I'm one of the few people not treating Chak as if he weremade of glass."

"Yes," Tuvok replied. Tom turned smartly and left Tuvok standing in the

middle of his quarters.

*****

Another week passed and the trial was going to begin soon. One evening Tom

was sitting in the mess hall with Harry and B'Elanna. They were justtalking over what Neelix called coffee. However, except for the darkcolor, it didn't even come close. They were talking about what Voyager haddone to find him and Chakotay and it was helping Tom deal with his anger atJaneway.

As the doors slipped open, Tom looked up to see Chakotay come in. He drew

a breath to call, but Chak stopped just inside the door, scanned the roomand their eyes met. Oh shit, Tom thought, what got him riled. Chakotaymade a bee line for Tom.

"I need to talk to you now," Chakotay stressed the last word. He took

Tom's arm and practically dragged him from the room. B'Elanna watched asif it were the most normal thing to happen. Harry finally remembered toclose his mouth and steady the chair Tom was all but pulled out of.

"I'll catch up with you two later," Tom called, as he was forcibly escorted

from the mess hall. He altered his gate as they walked down the hall tomatch Chakotay's determined stride. When the coast was clear, Tom pulledaway from Chakotay.

"Okay, muscle man. What's up?"

"Two things and I need your help with both of them."

"If I can help, you know I will."

"The Captain has gotten Kartock to approve my testimony by remote, but will

you be there? You're supposed to testify first, to sort of set the scene.It means you'll have to transport back rather quickly."

"Yeah, sure." They walked for a while, until he finally asked, "And the

Tom started laughing, not that he hadn't entertained the idea once or twice

himself, but to hear Chak making threats like that was great. He crossedhis arms and leaned back against the bulkhead, after a surreptitious glancedown the hallway in both directions to make sure they were alone.

"Today, he suggested I try to go on a Spirit Walk, and I agreed. Although

I didn't think I would be too successful since I usually do it in my cabin,and nak..." Chakotay paused for a moment and Tom was decent enough not tomention the blush that crept up Chak's face. "Anyway, I finally reached aplace of peace and where I would usually meet my Spirit Guide and I will bedamned if that Vulcan didn't try to enter it!" Chakotay fumed.

Now Tom didn't know much about meditation or Spirit walks, but he suspected

this was like finding someone in the closet after you had sex with someoneelse. He stayed quiet for a moment.

"Can you believe that?" Chakotay demanded. "He tried to get into my head

again. I was furious. I told him to get out of my office and that ourcounseling sessions were over."

*****

After a few days with the Doctor, Chakotay had been cleared for light

bridge duty. Chakotay was thrilled, it was the one thing Tuvok had almostheld out as some sort of carrot. He was set to return to duty the nextmorning.

When he had showered, Chakotay had almost made a ceremony about putting his

uniform on. The familiar red and black clothing laid out on the bed, withboots on the floor. He slowly donned each piece with a final check in themirror before he left his quarters. He didn't know why it was so importantto him, but it was. And it felt good. He walked to the turbolift with hishead held high. He was capable of command.

When he stepped onto the Bridge, everyone turned. Tom smiled

encouragingly, Harry had nodded and B'El gave him a look that was quietpride and welcome. Tuvok just stared, but at that particular moment,Chakotay didn't care.

"Welcome back, Commander," the Captain said with a slight smile.

"It's good to be back," he said walking to his chair. Everyone turned back

to whatever it was they were doing. Chakotay caught the wink from Tombefore he turned back to the view screen.

Katherine took the opportunity, a few minutes later, to give the bridge to

him and went to her ready room. He sat back apparently comfortably in hischair. He wouldn't admit to anyone that he was really just a littlenervous sitting there, but he reviewed his console, and carried on as ifhis hands weren't damp with sweat.

At the end of the shift, Chakotay was pretty proud of himself. True, they

were only in standard orbit around a planet, but he had been able to handleeverything.

It was a small step to everyone else, but to him. He had to face people he

didn't usually see, he had to handle information and route it correctly andmore importantly, he had to give orders. He had to face Tuvok and give himorders. That had been a tense moment, but Tuvok had raised that eyebrowand then nodded. Chakotay even got to reprimand Harry and Tom lightly forwhatever it was they had been doing. He suspected they were sendingmessages back and forth to each other, but he called them for snickering onthe bridge. Tom's response was anything but repentant.

*****

One day they were meeting with Kartock. Chakotay stood facing his viewport

in his office, as Kartock reviewed paperwork, and Tom kicked back on thesmall sofa.

"Commander, are you sure you won't testify before the Court. It would make

more of an impact if you could."

"I can barely do it in my own office! What makes you think I can do it in

front of people I don't know?" Chakotay asked turning from the viewport."It's Raton being in the room with me. That stupid little smile he'll giveme that said he won." He turned back. "I think I would either try to killhim or clam up."

"I have an idea," Tom said with some authority. "Counselor, give me a few

hours. I think I might be able to help a little." And with that Tom wasout the door of Chakotay's office.

Several hours later, Chakotay's comm badge sounded.

"Paris to Chakotay."

"Chak, go ahead Tom."

"Come to Holodeck 2."

"Why?" But the link was already shut off. He sighed heavily and went down

to face whatever Tom had devised this time.

Chakotay walked in the door and jumped. Raton stood in front of him, it

took a moment before Chakotay realized it was a holoperson. Tom moved intoview.

"Shit!" Chakotay fussed, his hand going to his chest, feeling his heart

pound against his ribs. "Are you trying to scare me into an early grave?"

"Computer, complete holo-scene," Tom said calmly and a courtroom appeared.

Raton took his seat at the table. "Begin simulation."

"Commander Chakotay, will you take your seat on the stand?" Kartock asked

gently.

"A little warning would have been nice, Paris," Chakotay growled as he

straightened his clothes and moved to the chair. The questioning began.

"Pause sequence!" Chakotay called. He left the witness stand. "Delete

Raton character." He looked at Tom as Raton disappeared. "I can't dothis, Tom. I know he isn't real and I still can't deal with him."

Tom came up and stroked Chak's arm. Chakotay felt the much needed warmth

and contact.

"You were ready to run when you first saw him. Now he upsets you. The

longer you face him here. The easier it will be down there."

Chakotay took Tom in his arms and held him.

"Do you know how much this hurts. How much it strips me?"

"Yes, I do, Chak. I do." Tom returned the hug. They stood there for a

few moments, until Chakotay felt like he could face the Ape again. Hemoved away and sat back in the witness chair and restarted the simulation.

*****

Two days later, they were on the planet surface. Kartock tore his eyes

away from the pacing Commander and looked at Tom Paris. Tom wasn't anymorereassured by Chakotay's actions than Kartock, but Chak insisted he could doit and Tom was not going to take the chance away from him. He knew howimportant it could be to face his enemy, and stare straight in his eye.

"Will he be able to do this?"

"I think so. Give him a few minutes once he is on the stand to acclimate

himself."

"Do you realize what it will do to my case if he looses control?"

"Your case? How about his life! Look, you wanted him down here. He says

he can do it, and I agree with him. Make your choice, Counselor. Let himtestify by remote and loose the impact or give him a chance!"

Kartock nodded slowly. "I guess, I don't have any choice.

Tom testified, bantering words with Raton's counsel. It was almost fun and

he made it as graphic and real to the people in that courtroom as he could. Making Raton look like the sorry stinking son of a bitch he really was,gave Tom a sense of pleasure. Not as much as strangling the bastard wouldhave, but close enough.

Then the defense tried to make it look like that was something Chakotay

liked. That Chakotay approached Raton for it. Tom sneered at thecounselor, counterattacking, making the man step back at Tom's returnedaccusations. This was something he could do. He was a master at the artof oral manipulation and used his skills to the utmost.

"No, Sir," Tom said. His voice was firm and steady. "We were taken by

that man. He used the Commander's sense of duty against him. He made theCommander submit to his demented sense of manhood. He obviously believesthat raping and destroying is a sign of strength. Raton is a sick,twisted, egomaniac who..."

"OBJECTION!"

"Should be put away for the rest of his life..."

"Your Honor!!!"

"In the meanest, most deprived environment you can think of!"

"Lieutenant!" The Judge yelled.

Tom was standing up. He was staring at Raton, his face flushed, his eyes

dancing in anger, breathing heavily. Raton just stared at him and Tomwanted to leap over the stand and beat him to a bloody, unrecognizable lumpof agony!

"I know several places he could get what he deserves. Deep space comes to

mind with only a limited life support," Tom whispered as his head swiveledto the Judge.

"Lieutenant."

"Very little oxygen and let him writhe as he breathes his own foul air,"

Tom continued in a low growl. His breathing was settling down. Then hemet the judge's eyes and slowly sat back down, glaring anger and hatred atRaton.

"One more outburst like that, Lieutenant, and I will have you removed from

this court.

Tom was excused pretty quickly after that and a recess was called. He met

Chakotay in the hall. He had to see how the big man was doing. Chakotayhad his hands clasped, rubbing them together. Tom touched his arm, andlooked into Chakotay's face. He had to warn him about what the prosecutionwas going to try to do.

"They're gonna try to grill you and make it look like it was something you

wanted. Raton is doing the smiling thing, but you can do this Chak," Tomcoached gently. "Just keep your mind on the attorney. I'll be there foryou."

Chakotay was pale, his hands were clammy and his eyes darting.

"He can't hurt you, Chak. You can do this."

"You're right. I have to do this."

Tom nodded in agreement.

"Are you ready, Commander?" Kartock asked from a few feet away.

Chakotay looked at the counselor and then straightened his uniform and

nodded.

"Yes."

*****

When court was back in session, Tom twisted for Chakotay as he was forced

to retell what he had been through. He hurt as the Commander had to relivethe pain and torment, both mental and physical. He wanted to kill Ratonwhen the defense accused Chakotay of wanting it. Tom would remember thelook on Chakotay's face when the attorney for Raton stood up and said,

"Come, Commander. Isn't it true you like your sex rough. That the

Lieutenant is really your lover and you didn't want to share him withRaton."

"No," Chakotay stumbled, pale.

"Wasn't it the Lieutenant that *cared* for you when you were brought back,

even to the point of taking care of your sexual excitement?"

Tom wanted to scream when Chakotay lowered his head, "Yes, he did."

"So you were involved with the Lieutenant?"

"No, not that way. Tom was...I never asked him to do that."

"Oh, are you and the Lieutenant so close that he would be comfortable doing

that rather intimate act for you. I find it hard to believe that anotherman would just volunteer to do that out of respect for a superior officer."

Chakotay looked up and met Tom's eyes. They saw a story in each other's

eyes. The Chakotay looked away from him, at the back wall. His face wasunreadable.

"Commander? Do you have an answer for me? Why did you continue to shield

the Lieutenant from Raton. If it was that bad, why not let Raton have himto save yourself these degradations. Or was I right? Do you like your sexrough?"

*****

That was when the explosion sounded and rocked the room. People started

screaming and running in every direction. Chakotay stood up, lookingaround as the lights flickered on and off and dust filtered into the air.People were pouring in through the doors, wearing the red sashes that heremembered the guards wearing when Raton had them. Fights were breakingout everywhere, screams as people tried to get away. Guards came rushingin to meet the attack. Tom was in the middle of it, facing two guards barefisted.

Chakotay moved to join Tom, until he caught sight of movement. He looked

up just in time to see Raton launch himself. Chakotay caught him and bothmen tumbled over the railing around the witness stand and crash heavily tothe floor.

They scuffled on the floor, but Chak knew he was in trouble. Raton started

to beat him. Chakotay tried to twist loose, but he and his arms werepinned by the man's bulk. Memory after memory flashed through his mind ofthe beatings he had taken and what had followed them. A moment later, whenthe blows stopped, Chakotay looked up at Raton grinning down at him. TheApe took a device from his pocket,