A lifetime's journey to be honest, open-minded and willing

ArahMan7’s Progress – Having a Stake too

A routine status update at Facebook earlier this morning had led me to a new idea that could help myself and my two sons financially. It was from the person above whom I had written a post about when I first started this blog in August 2008… a “fellow traveller on this journey towards recovery”.

Noor Azman or ArahMan7 is believed to be Malaysia’s first recovery blogger, with his site at My Journey to Recovery. It was a very important blog to me… because it gave me the confidence to start this one. It’s quite remarkable that I had discovered it on my very first day as a blogger. I had known quite a bit about ArahMan7 over the past year – and vice versa. And I must say that I’m grateful for having known him.

This is a very important part in the recovery process that people like us go through – knowing of someone else who had faced the same destructive power that was drug addiction and someone who is adapting to and living life on life’s terms. There is this empathy that can only exist between people with shared experiences – people who know what it was like to see your life spiraling down, with material possessions slipping away, personal relationships becoming brittle and often broken.

They also know about that obsession and compulsion to still continue with drugs despite seeing our lives declining to a deplorable level. They also know the guilt and torment, and the shame of bringing about hardship, stress and tension to those closest to us. And they also know of how some members of society view and treat those with a drug record.

CAPTION:Respectable member of society who feels he’s a few levels better than drug addicts, active or recovering. This kind emits signals of expecting you to hold him in awe; always nodding your head and agree with everything that he says.

With ArahMan, I’m fortunate to have someone who is genuinely interested to help. And I do know that he is genuinely happy when he hears of good things happening to me. Previously, I had had this thing nagging me: Would he somehow `feel threatened’ by the existence of “a newcomer” who might usurp his position and standing in Blogosphere?

CAPTIONS: (Left) Kampung loud-mouthed, expert-in-everything including religion. (Right) Expert when it comes to… Everything. Including on drugs, treatment and rehabilitation. Also possess ability to know whether someone is on drugs or not. Craves being at the centre of attention. Both were last spotted at the Pasir Mas Mahkamah Syariah on March 25

No ArahMan didn’t– In fact he told me about his admiration of my seeming nonchalance and ease in moving in and out of the local SoPo Blogosphere; and that I dared to leave comments on various issues at the top sites that include Rocky’s Bru and Raja Petra Kamarudin’s Malaysia Today.

I had wanted to be involved in the same projects that he has experience in. And ArahMan is the type of guy who isn’t “kedekut ilmu” (secretive and selfish with what he knows). Over a few emails and SMS messages, he had given me an idea about the online business entities at his blog like BuyBlogReviews etc. The first thing to do was to get a PayPal account.

I’m still stuck in the rut I was in since ArahMan had told me to get that account. Immediately after that, I was, by the Grace of God, deluged with work – I had given all of my time to “Writing for the papers & Sub-editing job”. Have to ensure regular income first, and ArahMan understands…

Then I saw this new website by him that I was not aware of: Blog Beginners. Excellent name! I had Bookmarked and also put it at the sidebar of my two blogs… besides sending a tweet at Twitter.

I’m happy to see all those business-related links on the right. I think ArahMan has gotten it right – SPOT ON – with this one. I can see and feel things clicking from the inter-connectedness and synergies of the posts and online business paraphernalia…

When (note it’s not `If’) he strikes the first or half million ringgit, many of us will be spurred to better our own situations and try to get a bit of the online wealth.

BTW I have vested interest in the smooth running and success of this. Now that things are more stabilised, I’m going to continue with my original plans – plus additions. I’ve just been struck with this idea – getting my two sons involved in this too.

The eldest (24) has been jobless since two months ago. And he’s one who doesn’t want to continue with higher education Sigh… He’s thin like me, and it breaks my heart to think about the tough and tiring jobs that he had done. But what qualifications and skills does he have?

Iman and Mat Yin July 5

And Iman: getting a diploma in Multimedia is the priority. He’s quite savvy with online entertainment stuff, and knows about Paypal. Well, I’d love to introduce him to ArahMan’s site here. That’s what I’m dreaming of now – Me and my two boys working together developing ours… following the path you as the trailblazer had opened for Malaysians and “people like me”

[BTW it came to my attention that the two simians above had gone around telling those who cared to listen that “Mat’s children… none of them gives him any thought or care… they just ignore Mat”]

Whatever ArahMan’s success, I can honestly and sincerely say that I’m happy. And I know that it’s the same with him should I land the jackpot. Yes, folks: Knowing Noor Azman Othman 11 months ago has been a big positive in my life.

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25 thoughts on “ArahMan7’s Progress – Having a Stake too”

Gee Bro, you’re too kind! I don’t know how to thank you enough. As you know I never felt threaten. In fact, I’m glad you’re here with me to spread the message. Hopefully all the simians of the world will know we can be successful too.

I’ve always been proud of you. Hope you don’t mind coz I’ve always include you as a role model in every sharing I had. Often time, the parent of an addict needed someone who he can relate to and you’re the perfect role model.

I had long known about people in society who have only scorn for addicts. And that includes towards those recovering. I had written about this in another post – it comes from their conclusion that “Once an addict, always an addict”.

They rigidly hold on to this theory and belief; refusing to accept that a former addict could indeed carve a new way of life for himself. They’d actually feel threatened when a former addict makes improvements to his life! This might sound ridiculous but I’ve come across this kind. They’d go out of their way to find `proof’ of a relapse, and take great pleasure in trumpeting this to all and sundry.

At times I get this feeling of wanting to shut out everyone from my life. But when I remember all those people who have been honest and sincere – and supportive in various ways – I get the right perspective again. I remember that I’m not doing this for anyone but myself.

And to this kind – just remember that there is God. Remember too that hadith of “the prayers of one who was wronged”.

Good job!
Congratulation for you if you have free from drug! i’ve been too for almost a year.
I always like to Mr.ArahMan7 blogbeginners sites, many thing i got from there, and he’s very nice to me.
Thanks

Congratulation, just passing here and found your article that very2 touchy. Long Time ago i was using it, but now i think i m too old for that, i m 30++ now and i must realized to face front to continuing my life journey in the real word. Once again Congratulation sir…

Thanks for leaving this kind comment, Mekyam.
My two boys – especially the eldest – are my main concern. Unlike their sisters who are “A” students, the boys are the opposite.

I’ve never mentioned about my eldest before, and you’ll be the first from here to know. Actually people whom I trust in Sherry, Shakirah do know a lot though… He was the one most affected by the troubles between me and his mother since more than a decade ago.

And he rebelled, getting in all sorts of troubles. Add to the ex-wife’s `politickings’, which resulted in a tense and later broken relationship between him and me. Just a week before I was arrested, he left home…

When I was at Gambang, I’d try to imagine what it must have been like for him – the pain and confusion of being in a dysfunctional family. And I was at the centre, the source… the one responsible due to my various failures. It was something that I had to deal with. I didn’t know how to, but I was determined. I later learned that Mat Yin was back at home, which was a relief.

One great thing about the two – they are on good terms with each other and with their sisters. This is something that I’m grateful for. I remember an incident when Iman was 11 and had a fever – Mat Yin went to borrow a friend’s motorcycle and took his little brother to the clinic.

Two whole years passed after I was released. But I didn’t know how to handle my situation with him. And he was in Perak, and then Kedah doing all sorts of jobs. He’d come back during the holidays but there was only silence between us. There was also that matter about the divorce suit – I was wondering how I could ever get our relationship on the right track again.

Then I made an important psychological decision: my efforts aren’t dependent on whatever transpired between me and her. I’m taking over the responsibility to help my eldest. Sheila had also contributed to this – there were things which she had said that moved me.

And it happened just like that: Just a few months ago, from Kedah, Mat Yin had sent me an SMS (must have gotten the number from Iman) asking about “Celcom 3G”. It was the first time in maybe nine years that we communicated. From that moment, I had looked out for chances to get closer to him, to win back his trust.

We are the ones that some people look down on. But they don’t know God’s Power; they don’t know how God can lift and elevate someone from the dumps. Or cut down to size those at the summit… if He wants to.

thank you for sharing with me mat yin’s story. the story of your estrangement and reconciliation really moves me. syukur things are better now.

i’m so moved by that first SMS. it must have been the answer of a prayer for you.

sounds like during the years of alienation, each was desperately looking for a way to bridge to the other again. i totally believe it’s very hard to break the tie between a parent and a child. since it’s based on unconditional love, no amount of hurt or disappointment can rip it assunder. your story renews my faith in its resilience.

Hi! Thanks for dropping by. That reminds me – I have to continue with the new post… had encountered an emotional roadblock halfway through the new post. Will continue with it after I complete some work which people are waiting for.

You know, I am waiting too! Honestly. Unfortunately, when there are so many other things to write about and do – and they involve this pesky thing called `income’. But I have to make the time somehow. Had intended to write two posts a month – which is `a lot’ considering how long I’d tend to write. And it’s almost a month since my last post. I feel bad about this.