October 22, 2017

21 ADULT TRUTHS

1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times
and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument
when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap
when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted
sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.
I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told
you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of
tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a
moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after
BlueRay? I don’t want to have to restart my collection….again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word
and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report
that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given
Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

15. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing
option.

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between
boredom and hunger.

17. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before
you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they
said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of
cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong
brothers and sisters!

19. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants
never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating
their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone and Pinning the tail on
the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3
feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

21. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in
Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was use in 1974. That means it only took
100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies….Quit
Laughing