FuryOfFirestorm:Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview. It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon. If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order). Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.

jst3p:BumpInTheNight: jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications. I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed. My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes. We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.

You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm also applying for google, got any tips?

Don't plan on having a life outside of work, but a few year there is good for the resume.

Right on, thanks! Figure once I can replace my @aol.com address with a gmail one the world is my oyster!

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.

jst3p:I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week. But leave it to the right to assume this is a "taker" that didn't want the job. I work with a couple tea party members. It must really suck to live through life assuming everyone is trying to cheat the system and take money directly out of their pockets. They are so angry so often.

/turned down a couple minimum wage offers because it was about the same as the unemployment benefits and would have filled my time with meaningless work instead of looking for a job.

Around here it was apply for 3, at least one of which had to be in person. They wanted info on who I applied to. At least I didn't have to bother with minimum wage junk--I wasn't expected to take anything that paid less than unemployment. The in-person requirement was annoying as no job I would be interested in would be an in-person application.

Somaticasual:You have to wonder if some of these are just someone meeting unemployment job application quotas..

I doubt it. If they checked up on it (and why else ask for where you applied other than to do spot-checking?) and saw what people used in an application...

gonna say.. if you can weld, you should be able to get something, anywhere, even entry level, and work up from there.. there are too many assholes in this world trying to, and expecting to get rich sitting in a cubicle.. the world needs folks that can take two pieces of metal and put them together.. I work in the beer industry, and I can tell you for certain that the industry needs folks that can work with stainless steel and be able to perform sanitary welds.You can make a shiatload of money with your skills, but you do have to build them up and you gotta start low and work up.. and if you are stuck where you are because no one is hiring, it seems like they are not Hiring YOU.. good ole boy shiat happens.. even if you are not certified, try to weld whatever the hell you can... mufflers, stair wells etc general mechanical work... learn yourself to work decorative wrought iron... but above all, get the fark our of Arkansas and get to where there is some work. take whatever work you can get to get to where there is better work and opportunities.

invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

other than some advice.. Have a month of TF as a gift from one blue collar guy to another..

Ehcks:redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

If you have the determination to fill out the entire application correctly and without looking stupid, you have the determination to go through eight hours a day of bullshiat for a few years.

It's almost as if time consumed by the overall process MUST remain the same. All that time you saved by not having to physically drive to the store, ask for an application, fill it out in pen, and then drive home (not to mention putting pants on) has to be accounted for SOMEhow, so they made the form longer.

Louisiana_Sitar_Club:FuryOfFirestorm: Smackledorfer: davidphogan: In college I was a manager at a taco shop, and I would have brought this guy in for an interview. It was a taco shop, not a place you had to be a rocket surgeon. If you could write that I'd figure you could handle putting meat, hot sauce, cheese, lettuce, tomato on a shell (in that order). Compared to most of the applications I saw, that's a huge step up.

Were you able to get your employees to roll the tortillas up properly so burritos aren't separated to one topping per bite?

All the rice on one end and all the sour cream on the other is ridiculous.

OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.

At the place I managed we (at least, I) took that as we weren't doing a good enough job for our regulars. Even in fast food, that's something to remember.

Granted, it wasn't a chain, just a local mom and pop taco and subs place, but criticism was powerful feedback to us.

Cerebral Knievel:invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.

Skywolf the Scribbler:Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.

Wanting to move to where you can get work, or training for work, is not a bad idea. Check with the unions if you're serious about getting training. I've had a few friends who found apprenticeship deals through unions where they didn't need a lot of up front cash to get a job, but it might be in a very remote location for a year. If you're willing to do that, start scouring union sites.

Skywolf the Scribbler:Cerebral Knievel: invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

Hey, thanks! I'll take your advice, and if can't find work, I'll be content as the resident hobo of Total Fark. Thanks for the motivation, think I'm close to depression again.

/Truly sorry for this AW moment

I didn't think you were being an AW at all, and enjoy the TF... doesn't meen much in the long run.. most of the folks over in TFD are a bunch of whining twits, but you get to see and comment on all the submissions if they are green-lit or not.. and if you like LOLcats,, well.. the caterday thread starts on wendsdays...

other than that.. an act of kindness from the blue.. enjoy yourself, and get over that depression shiat.. you got a marketable skill, use it.. and the next time you go out looking for a gig.. take the gig.. go in there knowing that it is yours and present yourself as such. use them for all they are worth, and move forward.. I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.

this country needs folks that can work with their hands, and their backs because so few are willing to nowadays.

That was me, too! But then I was like, well, at least I'll get a chuckle out of some of the other ones, but there was no next button. I found myself in a fark thread about "here's one purposly flucked up TB application"

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.

Look: even community colleges offer degrees in technical fields. The community college by me has a kickass ladies' welding club, and I'm not in THAT large of a city. Or maybe just risk the loan, either at the community college level or even a bit more somewhere else. It's not like you'd be the first in this country to do so. Or find a hobby group to learn skills. Find a union that has apprenticeship programs (yes, they still exist; yes, you might have to be nice and politely persistent and develop some good relationships) (what I've come to understand from my uncles, who've taken on apprentices, and my cousin, who was one and is now gainfully employed).

Yeah, few people do anything history-book-altering-worthwhile. That doesn't mean that you should resign yourself to a McJob if you can help it.

Cerebral Knievel:Skywolf the Scribbler: Cerebral Knievel: and you live in arkansas?

Temporarily. Texas would prolly be the better option

gonna say.. if you can weld, you should be able to get something, anywhere, even entry level, and work up from there.. there are too many assholes in this world trying to, and expecting to get rich sitting in a cubicle.. the world needs folks that can take two pieces of metal and put them together.. I work in the beer industry, and I can tell you for certain that the industry needs folks that can work with stainless steel and be able to perform sanitary welds.You can make a shiatload of money with your skills, but you do have to build them up and you gotta start low and work up.. and if you are stuck where you are because no one is hiring, it seems like they are not Hiring YOU.. good ole boy shiat happens.. even if you are not certified, try to weld whatever the hell you can... mufflers, stair wells etc general mechanical work... learn yourself to work decorative wrought iron... but above all, get the fark our of Arkansas and get to where there is some work. take whatever work you can get to get to where there is better work and opportunities.

invest in yourself and your abilities.. and a good blue collar skilled individual will go far..if you can weld now, then you have a skill that 98% of the population does not have, and it is marketable..

other than some advice.. Have a month of TF as a gift from one blue collar guy to another..

BarkingUnicorn:Koodz: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

I started to apply for an engineering job whose application literally asked my high school major. I decided I didn't want to work for a firm that institutionally stupid.

The app may have been very old, from a time when enginneering jobs required only a HS education. Or it may have been designed for both college-educated and HS-educated positions and applicants.

What's stupid is walking away from an opportunity when all you had to do was leave that space blank. If it wasn't significant, the reader wouldn't care.

Online application, can't leave anything blank. I was ten pages into re-entering everything on the resume that I had already successfully uploaded and seen parsed correctly by their system. If the paperwork is how they do business, I don't want to contribute to their business.

HotWingAgenda:jst3p: I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications. I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed. My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes. We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.

You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

I'm one of those IT guys. We don't do what people think we do. Why? Because we know that upper management can easily fire and replace someone who knows how to run a network and fix PEBCAK errors. They're more hesitant to replace some paper-pushing professional staffer with a graduate education, that they play pickup basketball games with on the weekend, and who babysits their kids.

I used to be one of those IT guys, and we never had the time nor the inclination to rifle through people's stuff. What the hell are you doing all day?

One of the best systems I ever had to run was an old Groupwise mail cluster. Not because Groupwise was teh awesome, but because it was explicitly designed so no one could read a user's mail but the user. All of the mail was encrypted and without a user's password, you couldn't access it without a third-party utility. It used to give our legal team fits, but it was great if anyone accused us of rifling through their mail. It didn't help that we had to fire a unix admin who WAS reading users' mail on a SunOne system.

But who the hell wants to go through some user's home folder? Not only is it a fireable offense at most companies, but what's the point?

It can sometimes get confusing because "minimum wage" and "maximum penetration" can often mean the same thing.

/I'm kidding! Having no minimum wage or getting paid less than minimum wage is closer to maximum penetration.

It's just....who the fark, when asked what wage are they're looking for, would answer "the minimum allowed by law" ?

Just give me the meekest pittance the law allows you to pay me, and please only give me the minimum about of time for bathroom breaks during the workday. Oh, and if you could ensure the job is only as safe as allowed by law, that'd be great.

Louisiana_Sitar_Club:OHMYGODYES. Every time I order a 7 Layer Burrito from Taco Bell, I have to ask them to actually layer the ingredients out in rows so that I don't get a mouthful of sour cream on the first bite and a glob of guacamole on the second bite.

If you make that request, I can virtually guarantee you are eating 8 or 9 layer burritos.

Seriously, folks - it's just a simple request. It's not like i'm asking them to clean my house and give me a 3 hour-long blow job. If you can't make a burrito that doesn't have all the sour cream sitting at one end, then you shouldn't even be working at Taco Bell in the first place.

Also, the Taco Bell I go to has the workers assembling the food in full view of the customers (and video cameras), so doing stupid sh*t like that is not a bright idea, unless they like getting fined for food safety violations.

It can sometimes get confusing because "minimum wage" and "maximum penetration" can often mean the same thing.

/I'm kidding! Having no minimum wage or getting paid less than minimum wage is closer to maximum penetration.

It's just....who the fark, when asked what wage are they're looking for, would answer "the minimum allowed by law" ?

Just give me the meekest pittance the law allows you to pay me, and please only give me the minimum about of time for bathroom breaks during the workday. Oh, and if you could ensure the job is only as safe as allowed by law, that'd be great.

I agree with your point, but I think the reason people claim they are seeking minimum wage on an application (especially at a chain fast food restaurant) is that they don't think they will get hired if they want any more than that. With the exception of supervisor positions, their fears are likely justified with chains as some have wage policies that might require even a store GM to get upper management approval to hire above minimum or to give anyone a raise. That, or a GM might not hire above minimum because even tiny increases in labor costs might cause management to lose any chance at a bonus. In short, job applicants expect to be treated poorly because it's become the industry standard.

Skywolf the Scribbler:This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere

You know, I don't mind working a meaningless job. I don't mind taking a job for which I'm totally overqualified. I don't even mind being underpaid, as long as management understands that I'm being paid to do a drone's work, not to give a damn. What really bothers me is trying to convince some sh*tbag tin despot that I'm really worthy to be let into the exclusive club that is his/her personal fiefdom of minimum wage servitude.

Skywolf the Scribbler:This thread is depressing, because I'm a nobody looking for enough work just to earn some money and move to a larger city with more work and technical classes (welding). It is difficult to wear a facade of pretending that I have any interest in a given corporation when all I really want is enough pecuniary mores to get by, since I can barely afford the basics right now and could wind up homeless with one financial emergency. I also pretend that the emotional fatigue has no bearing on me, but in truth, it takes a damn force of will to keep up the effort to convince a manager that I'm worth hiring. I look around and feel at times that I am the only person struggling not to get ahead, but just to stay afloat, though I know that I am not. While I try not to be ungrateful for any work since having work is a sacred thing, simply knowing that the work for which I apply is meaningless, dead-end, superficial, shallow, and fit only for social nobodies such as I is disheartening.

/Rant over. Sorry, had to vent steam somewhere

I'm at the point in life where if I am applying for a job outside of my future degree (CIS, December), I'm pretty much going to give interview answers like 'look, this position isn't exactly what I want to do long term, I might not stay longer than x amount of time, and I might occasionally be late, but I will show up unless dreadfully ill and I will treat coworkers and/or customers respectfully and try to do a good job. If that's not enough, have a nice day'. The last time I was that honest in an interview, albeit with different answers, I got the job and they were thrilled to have me. The next job after I moved (secretary), I was more conservative, and oh my god it turned out to be the worst job I've ever had, including working at a gas station and mall food court.

So even if you don't get the job, my advice is be respectful but don't bullshiat the hiring person. They get a ton of that and if the job is worth anything, they'll pick the honest people over the boot lickers.

jst3p:I Like Shiny Things: downstairs: remus: In High School, I used to help the Manager sift through the applications. I swear some people are either this stupid, high, or really don't want to actually get hired

Heh, indeed. My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes. We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

Thats awesome dude.

Your wife violates privacy rights of employees of the very company that puts food on her table, and then you go and boast about it on a public interwebs forum.

You guys rock.

You REALLY don't want to know what IT guys with access to your email and home directories do on a regular basis.

No one is going through other people's emails and personal files unless they are unprofessional dicks.

redsquid:What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.

Oldiron_79:redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.

I'm referring to skilled blue collar trades, not like fast food or retail mainly but still.

Oldiron_79:redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.

Yep. After being self employed in a now mostly obsolete field for 20 years, I was looking for any kind of job this past year, just to get me through until something permanent came along. Even part-time janitorial jobs wanted the same "where do you see yourself in five years" bullshiat essays. I had a hard time deciding whether to go for the "I see myself as Upper Management material, just looking for an opportunity to demonstrate the benefits that I can bring to your organization" or "After 20 years of making and bearing all responsibility for every decision big or small, I just want to show up, do my thing, and let somebody else drive the bus". And in fact, one part time employer did hire me after mentioning that she was wary of me getting bored or frustrated in such a low level position and I responded with the latter comment.

More_Like_A_Stain:Oldiron_79: redsquid: What happened to job applications? They used to be a simple one or two page affair- now they're freaking novels. Do you really need the address of my elementary school? My wife was looking to take a position with a high end national retail outfit. The online application process took 4 hours!

Also do you really need a resume for blue collar positions? I mean seriously you have whatever licensing and experience the company requires or you don't, My skills at creative writing should be irrelevant.

Yep. After being self employed in a now mostly obsolete field for 20 years, I was looking for any kind of job this past year, just to get me through until something permanent came along. Even part-time janitorial jobs wanted the same "where do you see yourself in five years" bullshiat essays. I had a hard time deciding whether to go for the "I see myself as Upper Management material, just looking for an opportunity to demonstrate the benefits that I can bring to your organization" or "After 20 years of making and bearing all responsibility for every decision big or small, I just want to show up, do my thing, and let somebody else drive the bus". And in fact, one part time employer did hire me after mentioning that she was wary of me getting bored or frustrated in such a low level position and I responded with the latter comment.

jst3p:I was on unemployment for six months, just had to press "1" to indicate that I was looking for work that week once a week.

Wait, so are you saying that system isn't being abused? With a straight face? Or do you just object to people who assume true but unpleasant things?Note: I'm not angry, nor am I a member of the tea party, but I do assume that most systems are routinely abused, because that's been my experience.

Thank you for the sympathy, yet my aegis requires college education, which is far to grave a financial pitfall to be worth the risk of not being able to pay back the loan. I have abandoned that endeavor, unless I could afford it out of pocket. Most other ambitions these days require one to be licensed, bonded, insured, with previous experience and rapport; without these credentials, an individual is considered a nobody worthy only of the most insignificant work. Any dreams of doing something 'transcendental' or 'world-changing' are ill harbored with slim odds of being met without significant pelf, and most business pursuits are superficial with a desire only for profit. It was foolhardy to ever consider doing anything worthwhile--few people have the means to do so. There is nothing new under the sun, the works of one person are oft forgotten within several generations, and all is vanity. If I could just do some honest work and earn a decent living, maybe become self-employed, it would be enough.

I am a complete loser. in every crossroad in my life I took the wrong path. the road most travelled so to speak. I gave into the bottle, gave away two wives, never had any children of my own (which I have come to realize was for the best) even my step daughter told me I could never be her "dad". I have never been anything but a disappointment to my family and "friends". lost my home, my car everything (pretty much). I do have a job, I have spent a quarter of a century in the same cubicle. but all this does perpetuate the living hell my life is. but.. the only person I blame is me. like I said I had promise. I just farked everything I touched up.so.. SHUT THE FARK UP, you whiny little biatch. get a job, or eat a bullet!

downstairs:Heh, indeed. My wife does book keeping for a local restaurant, which means she also files all paperwork including resumes. We have a great time going through them and finding rather bizarre gems.

I would think you are breaking some law somewhere. HR is confidential.

If you want to weld in his area then learn heliarc. It is not hard and is actually fun. The best for stainless and aluminum. Maybe think of body and fender repair. Good money and artistic at the same time.

/no longer a welder but like riding a bike you never forget how to do it//still plays with it sometimes

Cerebral Knievel:I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.

I don't know if things have changed but back in the day when I was a welder we made pretty much top money for the day. This would be in the 70s. And I never lacked for a job back then. Welding was the catch all for manufacturing and maintenance industries. I have welded everything from trucks to motorcycle frames to a house that was raised.

That was the strangest one. I worked for a mobile trailer repair company and welded beams for a house that was raised.

I was vocational trained with all aspects of welding and blueprint reading. The blueprint reading got me a few jobs.

So you have no personal experience with being on unemployment, you just want to feel better than people who need it because hurr durr ex wife. Good for you.

no...I had to base the budget of my house hold by my ex wifes hair brained moneymaking schemes.. and had to know what was going on when and where, and how, and what to expect to be able to pay the bills.. and that was one of the things I had to keep track of... but if you want to think my statement was all unemployment BLAH ex wife sucks BLAH!, then keep on farking that chicken.

I can assure you that keeping track of how the unemployment system works was one of the least of my concerns when dealing with that farking harpy

saturn badger:Cerebral Knievel: I know welders that are not really doing anything special commanding $20k and up for a single job.

I don't know if things have changed but back in the day when I was a welder we made pretty much top money for the day. This would be in the 70s. And I never lacked for a job back then. Welding was the catch all for manufacturing and maintenance industries. I have welded everything from trucks to motorcycle frames to a house that was raised.

That was the strangest one. I worked for a mobile trailer repair company and welded beams for a house that was raised.

I was vocational trained with all aspects of welding and blueprint reading. The blueprint reading got me a few jobs.

/winner of regional welding contests//never state

Never won state for my vocational stuff either.. but my vocational stuff was radio stuff.. biggest thing I can say for any of that is that I actually worked in my field for a while after school until the industry changed.

I'm slowly learning myself how to weld on the job, mostly just to know it. It is a worth while skill that more people need to know

If I ever get a chance to have fark you money, I Intend to be a champion of vocational education programs.