Whoo lawd, I’m gon get the good stuff out of the way first. The train conductor in this clip gets a Has It Together Award, she kept calm, cool, and collected, and remained professional even after this crazy woman touched her. A lesser person would have mopped the aisle with her.

Dear Hermon “I don’t like authority” Kaur Raju,

Sit yo monkey ass down somewhere and act like you have some sense. You over here yelling about how many different schools you’ve been to and how educated you are is not convincing anyone of those points. An educated person rarely has to tell another person that they are educated. It should be apparent from the way they carry themselves. Obviously you have no home training because even if you weren’t being that loud and obnoxious and spewing obscenities (which I doubt), all you would have had to do when asked to be quiet is say…..Ok, sorry about that, and move on with your life. Not go on some tirade about how you’re not a hoodlum, and how educated you are. Standing up here yelling about how great you are like you solved the mysteries of the universe or something. So here have a seat in the corner, and from now on ride your bike to work. Or do you even have a job, because your LinkedIn account sure didn’t list one. Although I’m sure because of how unfair the world is you’ll probably get an excellent job and make 10 times the amount of money I will. UGH.

The Unemployed Hermon Raju Linked In Screenshot

If you end up on Celebrity Apprentice because of this I’m going to be pissed. Get Yo’Self Together!

Dear Random “I don’t have an inside voice” Stranger,
This is a first on the Get Yo’self Together Blog, I’ve never had to put a non-celeb/non-politician on blast like this. But you sir, sir, SHUT UP! I can’t believe that you sat your ass on this train and talked that loud about that many triflin’ stereotypical topics. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Number one it had to be about 900 degrees outside. Too damn hot to be talking loud, and there were at least 10 people on the train who were also in the same state of disbelief as I was. I mean DAMN! I’m pretty sure I gave you about 10 dirty looks that you were oblivious to.

I must admit that I did laugh a few times between you being entirely too excited about cheap chicken and someone being bust in the head with a 40oz bottle and a crate, but that was more laughing at and not with, seeing as you didn’t seem to find these situations humorous. Pimps and prostitutes, I mean just too much. I had to leave the train. I think you got Lakeysha Beard beat, so sir, once I talk to the proper athorities, you will be relieved of your phone in public places privileges, until you of course show that you can GET YO’SELF TOGETHER!

Dear Lakeysha “I Got Lots of Rollover Minutes” Beard,
I have heard your story and just have a few questions to ask of you.

Did your phone get so hot that you thought about getting off of it during the 16 hours you were on it? Because that happens to me sometimes, after maybe 35 minutes my phone will start to singe my eyebrows, and that’s when I get off of it.

Were you hoarse when you were ejected from the train?

Who in the HELL were you talking to? Adult Hotline? A party line? Miss Cleo? A deaf person? Friends do not let friends get put off the Amtrak for not wanting to be the last one to say goodbye. I will admit that once upon a time I have been on the phone for at most 8 hours. I was probably in high school, you’re 39.

When they first made the announcement that phone’s weren’t to be used in the quiet cars did you think, “Well they must mean those other kinds of phones, but not my phone.”?

What the hell were you talking about? Global warming, Bin Laden, The Real Nicole Brown Simpson Killer? I really want them to interview someone who can tell us what her side of the conversation was about. It would be terrible if it turns out her phone wasn’t even on and she was just pretending to have friends.

Can you explain exactly in what way you felt disrespected, I really would like to hear your side of the story?

Oh and lastly what’s in that plastic bag, I’m just curious

Sincerely hoping you don’t call me and use up all my minutes,
Dianne

For those of you who haven’t heard the story yet, our dear friend Lakeysha Beard was riding the Amtrak from Oakland, CA to Salem, OR in a designated “Quiet Car” and decided that she was exempt from being quiet and talked on her phone according to passengers from the time she board the train, until approximately 16 hours later when they had to stop the train about 20 minutes away from Salem to have police escort her off the train. Seems a passenger finally told her that she wasn’t allowed to talk on the phone in that car and she got into a verbal altercation with them. At least they stopped the train to put her off, I think I would have just slowed down. Check out the video below. I love how the police officer is pointing as if to tell her to go sit in the corner.

Now she needs a doggone whoopin’. I don’t understand why she just wouldn’t move to another train car. This train left Oakland at 10pm, which means she yapped alllll night!

Now I ride the el to work, and it’s about a 45-60 min trip each way. On the dreadful days when I leave my headphones at home and am forced to listen to people’s inane conversations both with each other and on their cell phones, I get quite frustrated. I’m pretty sure that I would not have made it anywhere near 16 hours. After about 2 hours one of us would have gotten off that train one way or another one. I can’t wait to hear more of her side of the story, since she felt “disrespected” and seems to not understand why she had to be escorted off. I just don’t understand why she wasn’t put off hours ago. If I was a passenger I would have been doubly pissed that now I have to wait for them to get her off the train when I’m only 20 minutes away from my destination. Shooooooo.

Dear Reader,

My name is Dianne Vonwhooseeay. I have come to bust the chops of celebrities, politicians, and regular folks that just need to get themselves together. Please feel free to leave comments or shoot me an email with suggestions of people who need to get themselves together. More