You know you're on a downer when even Paul Scholes pipes up to slag you off. The famously publicity shy former Manchester United midfielder made his punditry debut on Sky on Tuesday night, presumably as part of some subtle Gary Neville-planned campaign to remind David Moyes what a decent central midfielder looks like – and he took time out from discussing the Manchester derby to give a characteristically no-frills assessment of Arsenal's current woes, which, he reckoned, amount to just "a typical week for Arsenal".

Scholes went on to decry, with barely disguised contempt, the "indiscipline" of Arsenal midfielders whose approach to matches appears to consist of going for "a little walk upfield, lose the ball, play a nice little one-two and not even bother sprinting back". Arsenal, droned Scholes, lack urgency, method and leadership. They also lack a midfielder so committed to his profession that in 20 years he never learned to tackle but Scholes forgot to mention that. Still, Scholes's outburst is a sign of the times: only a week after entire forests were felled to publish tributes to Arsène Wenger on his 1,000th match, questions about the manager's current methods are being raised with new alarm. Funnily enough, the very last thing Scholes said in his punditry debut is that he's available for work as a manager if a position should, you know, become available.

But is a position about to become available at the the Emirates? Some organs reckon not and claim Wenger is poised to finally sign a new contract, although the term of that deal has been reduced from two to three years, which still gives the Frenchman ample scope to lure Callum Chambers from Southampton; others insist Wenger will be invited to go spend some quality time with his new little gold cannon and that the new big shot at Arsenal will be one of Roberto Martínez, Brendan Rodgers, Jürgen Klopp or, of course, Steve Bould.

You'll note Big Sam's name does not feature on that list and, obviously, the only possible explanation for that is he's not trendy enough. If his name were Sam Le Grand or Der Gross Sam, clubs would be pleading with him to come shower them with his magic dust. But no.

In fact, word is Allarydce may even be going out of fashion at Upton Park and West Ham fancy a makeover from that dashing foreigner Michael Laudrup.

Barcelona, meanwhile, are lining up a new deal for Lionel Messi

and are preparing to play the Argentinian a world record £336,000 per week.

Expect to read reports in the next few days of Cristiano Ronaldo being "sad" at Real Madrid and seeking succour in the form of, let's see now, a £337,000-per-week contract.

How much is Fernando Torres worth? That's a matter that Chelsea could be discussing soon with Internazionale. And then they'll go into another room in the San Siro and discuss Demba Ba's worth with AC Milan.

Juventus, meanwhile, want Parma defender Gabriel Paletta.

Finally, with Vahid Halilhodzic set to step down after the World Cup, Algeria have started going through a wish list of potential new managers.

In fact, they must have started going through it a long time ago if they've now reached the name Fabrizio Ravanelli.