Wednesday, 14 November 2012

The Sauce of Bad Habits part 1

As new parents we experience an entirely different world from what we previously knew.

For some couples, the road to children has been a joyous process. It was a decision well thought about and planned. They waited expectantly for the day that they would learn of their little ones life. The day finally arrives and is surrounded with much hoopla and extravagant emotions. Much of which couples already having born such offspring remember and wish very dearly to warn congratulate the soon-to-be’s!

For others, it comes as a shock. Children may have been something that was spoken of as a possibility in the near far future. Some out there are single moms or even single dads! Others are blessings by God providing homes to children who otherwise would be without! Whatever the circumstances are that brought on the pooping, weeing, crying bundle of joy; we are all in the same boat.

As your offspring grows, you are showered with loving advice from others who have walked the path before you….oh who am I kidding? You are bombarded with hundreds of “experts” opinions and other moms and dads "experienced advice" all while being forced to assume your child must fit into a specific category or “box”.

Let’s face it. Ladies (and gents!) our children don’t necessarily fit into any form of category. Take my son, for example. When ever we go into town, I am always stopped and told how gorgeous and well behaved he is. I say thank you and try to act as if I’ve never noticed. In reality I’m thinking to myself, why can’t he be like this at home?!? Instead, he is throwing toys, jumping off of anything he can get onto, and trying to get onto or into the rest! The teachers tell me he bit a kid! And a typical Saturday consists of two baths and a swim because he can’t stay out of the mud….or was that just dog poop….NOOOOO!!!

All of this is part of growing up! That is all fine and dandy with me. I take no thoughts to heart if my son needs a bath for the third time today because friends have “popped in” to say hello and we are far from presentable! He’s a boy is what I always tell myself. (I also secretly glare at them with my fatal evil eye for having just come over unannounced and swear to myself that they must accept that I have a child and this is the way life is! Just wait until it's your turn!)

There are factors that I didn’t think about though. And through all the loving advice I’m given nothing is preparing me for dealing with facing these obstacles with my child. I am finding it increasingly exhausting to remind people of the common sense fact that Lil Mister is not the same as anyone else’s children!

If they’d pause for a moment and listen to themselves give “advice” they’d realize that they contradict themselves every second sentence in any case.

"Kid 1 was potty trained at 18 months. Kid 2 was a little less interested so I had to do a, b, or c different and Kid 2 was finally off diapers by 3! Definitely do it this way!”

“With girl I breastfed exclusively and that is the right thing to do. Oh no, I didn’t breastfeed with boy for so long because he had teeth early and it hurt.”

These examples could go on, but I won’t get detailed into the reservoir of parenting must do’s and don’ts I have stored from people over the last almost 3 years. Basically, from the day you tell anyone..ANYONE you are pregnant you are opening the flood gates to the River of Baby Knowledge.

But now I sit, with #2 almost ready to make his appearance and I have a very large dilemma on my parenting plate. This dilemma boils down to a very basic, bitter, and overall ass burning sauce. The sauce of bad habits!

Disclaimer: Please take a moment now and vacate the premises of my parenting kitchen if you are in anyway allergic to obscure parenting thoughts, bullshit, venting, or overall fed-upness. (And yes that is my new word!) No children were harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally in the process of this parenting kitchen experiment!

For some parents, what I am now viewing as bad habits for my nearly 2 year old is far from concern in their eyes. Call me whatever you want but to me….well it’s time for Lil Mister to start becoming a Lil-big Mister. I don’t want to rush his growth. I just want need him to start doing things a little more ….independent. (oh my I feel the evil mother eyes on me now!)

Here are the ingredients to this sauce which is causing so much panic:

Needs to be coaxed to sleep
Still wants to drink from a teat ALL THE TIME
Said teat causes for a dip in the potty training department
TANTRUMS…
Becoming proficient in a particular brand of French….no not the Paris kind
Completely UNWILLING to detach from 24/7 attention

Please join me next week as we turn up our stoves and delve into the step by step process of making The Sauce of Bad Habits (part 2).