2. Sam Horowitz's bar mitzvah is the best bar mitzvah in historyThe magic — and boy, do we do mean magic — starts around the 1:15 mark, when spectacular 13-year-old Sam Horowitz makes his dazzling entrance before the party's attendees. He's like Beyonce, but tinier and not married to Jay-Z. (Via Death and Taxes)

3. Here is an adorable baby sloth exercisingThis is me at the gym. (Gym = in my room, with 5-pound weights.)

4. And while we're at it…Here's a baby panda meeting its enormous mother for the first time. (Via BuzzFeed)

8. Tumblr of the Week:Scenes from The WireHere's the gist: Every hour, an automated bot grabs a random scene from HBO's The Wire and posts it to Tumblr as a GIF. Sometimes the result is something completely nonsensical: