Monday, 9 April 2012

David Attenborough saves the day

I was living in a huge Victorian house with about four floors, each of which was split into a single apartment. I has the top floor, which was the attic, and there were around four rooms, one of which had been converted into some kind of shrine for paganism by the previous owner. There were huge fireplaces in this room that constantly burned and all over the walls were slightly creepy looking markings of paganistic things. This room scared me quite a lot and I felt like I couldn't move anything or change it in any way, otherwise I'd be smited or something.

One day, I went out to buy food and, when I cam back, I realised I'd forgotten my keys and was locked out of my flat. I called my neighbour to help me to get back into my flat and (very handily) he happened to have the same locks on his door, so his keys could open mine. Once I was back inside I realised it was freezing in the flat, so I decided to move my bed into the pagan room. This didn't take too long and once I was there I went to sleep in the gorgeous warmth. I was woken up by people screaming outside my window though. I got up and looked outside - directly below my window was a river that had a willow tree overhanging it, and it looked like the house itself was set in the grounds of a university. There were people canoeing on the river and the water was bubbling and breaking the banks. They were shunted aside in their canoe by something huge in the water - it reared up for a second and everyone watching saw that it was a gigantic whale, bigger than any other in the world could be (don't ask how a whale this massive could fit in a river ¬_¬)

At this point the willow tree started smoking, but it looked like when heat is rising off something. I somehow knew that it was because the whale was something inhuman and that it was breaking the world from being there - like some kind of butterfly effect happening before my eyes. I ran out of the house and rushed to get my boyfriend and explained what had happened - he said he had feared it would happen and that the whale was really a genetically modified monster. He said he knew someone that could help us to solve the 'whale mystery' but that we had to keep everything hush hush.

The guy that could help us worked in a secret underground lab and his assistant was David Attenborough. He took my boyfriend and I to a room with a huge tube filled with water and a holding tank at either end. He explained to us that the whale was completely natural and that we had nothing to worry about. He pressed a button and a normal-sized dolphin swam down the tube and through into the holding tank at the other end. He pressed another button and a slightly larger dolphin came out. He said that aquatic animals were slowly getting bigger and that it was nothing to do with genetic modification. He kept pressing buttons until we'd seen about four dolphins of increasing size.

At this point the guy told David Attenborough to escort us out, which he did. He took us aboveground again and we were on the battlements of a castle. David Attenborough rushed us to one side and quickly explained in hushed, urgent whispers that the guy had been lying and that he'd seen the experiments he'd performed on the dolphins and that he was working with a group to create monster aquatic animals to take over the world with. He told us that we had to create a resistance to save the world, but that we must go now. Suddenly, a man appeared on the other side of the battlements (he was standing on am impossibly tall ladder) and told us to come quickly, otherwise we'd never escape. My boyfriend and I promised David Attenborough that we would succeed and we managed to escape just as the nasty scientist guy appeared on the battlements and killed David Attenborough.