Drunks commonly found roaming the hills of Hong Kong at night

Day: 20/09/2015

The Not-So-Magnificent Seven

As informed by Golden Balls earlier in the day, the advertised location for the run was changed slightly, to a sitting area along the sea front at Wu Kai Sha. However, when we all managed to get to the run, the GM and hare Velcro Lips informed us of a better and more suitable location just down from where the cars were parked. Visiting runner Noah also appeared at the car park looking very sweaty as he had run from the University, just to warm up. As usual we had to wait for Eunuch to put his make-up on and at 7.45pm a somewhat lost Golden Jelly was heard in conversation with Velcro about the start location. Not wanting to delay further, Velcro assembled the pack together and after telling us the trail was marked with flour, chalk and some toilet paper, off we went.

The first check led us straight through the village and out onto another check which took us in multiple directions. It was here that the hash group showed real concern for their fellow hashmen (NOT). As Golden Balls held check and waited for a call in the right direction so that he could mark it for Piss Flaps (his new best friend), everyone started checking in all directions. Well when I say everyone I actually mean Mango who ran in every conceivable direction and upon returning to Golden Balls at the check asked where everyone had gone to, at which Golden Balls ran over the bridge in hope of finding trail and the pack, leaving Mango to look again for trail. After many minutes of buggering around and realizing that everyone else had found trail and not a single sausage poo poo had bothered to call, Mango and GB decided to head downwards towards the subway. The rest of the pack had all found trail but decided to keep it a secret from Mango and GB, yes that’s right Eunuch, Liberace, Noah, One Eyed Jack, Catch Of The Day, Piss Flaps and Penile Dementia (aka The Magnificent Seven). Mango and Golden Balls eventually found trail near the subway underpass. After running over the bridge and spying an on-on into the station they could see The Magnificent Seven dispersed in all directions. As The Magnificent Seven ran around like complete twats on the MTR platform, Mango looked at GB and said “what a bunch of morons, the N2TH3 should be proud to have them.” Cries of check back! check back! were heard from The Magnificent Seven, especially Penile Dementia and COTD, and at one point Liberace appeared from the ticket office. When GB and Mango asked where did you see a check back because we’ve just passed the on-on pointing into the station, “What on-on?” came the reply from The Magnificent Seven. After realizing what a complete bunch of toss wipes they really were cos there was no check back and somehow The Magnificent Seven managed to convince each other that one really existed, trail was found around and out the MTR (yes by GB and Mango) before heading up the long steps adjacent to the hillside.

A check at the end of the concrete path fooled both Noah and Liberace who ran downwards towards the city. Eunuch clambered up an unmarked hillside whereas COTD backtracked slightly to find a nice path heading up the hillside. The trail after this point up was quite steep but well marked with flour and chalk. As we ascended, the now super-fit COTD pulled further away from Eunuch, who had managed to twist his ankle, and leaving Liberace, Mango and Penile Dementia behind. As he climbed even higher, Liberace mentioned that we hadn’t seen the rambo / wimp split yet, which had everyone worried, before a slight descent downwards. It was here that GB, who had fallen behind the pack, saw a torch far below in the woods which turned out to be Piss Flaps, who had somehow blundered off-piste. Being the lovely jubbly type of geezer that he is, GB stood and waited for our newest hasher because he was worried about him. The trail then continued steeply up a path with a fixed rope and eventually onto the rambo / wimp split. The rambo trail took us over a stream and up a little more to the trig point on the path above. A run down some steps and then right at a check had the rambos back on the outskirts of the village, where the two trails rejoined. At this point there was a short section down through some woods before the trail then took us out onto the road before turning left, under the subway and a short run back in along the sea shore. But it was at the woods that Piss Flaps got lost a second time, and when GB, who had got ahead of him, realised Piss Flaps was lost in the woods again he went back to look for him – an inexcusable and heinous gentlemanly act for which he was later punished.

The rambos were all back in just over an hour, with Liberace and COTD complaining that it was too short and Mango collapsing with exhaustion and regretting not taking the wimp trail cos he is well crap on up hills. GB and Piss Flaps were the final runners back and Golden Jelly had eventually managed to join the group, after spending nearly an hour finding the location, even though she use to work nearby (looks like she’s been learning GPS stuff from Liberace!)

After a few cans of beer were consumed the GM led the circle by awarding herself a down down for the run and then continuously wiggling two fingers in front her crutch whenever she called in Piss Flaps. Noah was named Bungle because the RA wanted him to have a nice cuddly name name to tell his son. After several others gave out down downs, COTD was invited into the circle by GB to sing the King Kong song, in Japanese, which was very entertaining. Once again another great run with the N2TH3, thanks Velcro. – Mango Groove