Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Buzzword goes on rampage; kills one, wounds more than a dozen.

This story has all the modern iconography one could possibly hope for: Mental un-wellness, multiculturalism, urban pedestrians/cyclists, and an SUV.

It seems that one lad who had grown up in California and achieved that pinnacle of Western success, the keys to a Honda SUV, had a little problem. The problem was that his name was Omeed and while he considered himself Californian, his Afghani family didn't so much and, in fine Afghan fashion, had picked him out a bride back in the Old Country. Being less than willing to exchange San Francisco for Kandahar and a Honda Pilot for a camel and an AK-47, the last threads connecting Omeed to what we all term as "sanity" snapped.

Having informed kith and kin that the boogieman was after him, Omeed hopped in his Pilot and proceeded to play Death Race 2000 across the landscape of the Bay Area. Shouldering Priuses (Priii?) onto the median and bunting pedestrians and bicyclists into the shrubbery, he barrelled along until the heat got him boxed in after he'd racked up 8,000 points.

This being San Francisco, and CNN being CNN, what did the link to the story at the CNN.com site say? That's right: *SUV hits 14 people in 20-minute rampage, 1 dead. The link itself will even take you to a page headed "suv.rampage.ap". Not "nutjob.rampage.ap", not "Americandudevictimizedbythirdworldculture.rampage.ap", but "SUV.rampage.ap".

Mr. Popal could, apparently, have stayed in bed this morning and let his Pilot carry out his grisly plans and saved himself a lot of prison time and lawyer's fees. Instead, he gets charged with 14 counts of attempted murder, and the Honda remains an unindicted co-conspirator (at least, outside the court of the media...)

Hey, how many times ya read, "The driver was killed when the car ran off the road."?

I can see it now: The car is wandering along the Interstate, and sees this perfectly lovely bridge abutment. It sez to itself, "Self, that's a plumb beautimous bridge abutment. I think I'll just run off the road and hit that little doofer."