Slacker & Steve's Blog

Red Light Ticket Trouble

by Slacker And Steve,posted Feb 21 2014 4:32PM

Yi!
Candy was spending time with a work husband/coworker her husband asked her not to hang out with. She told him she'd quit hanging out with her co worker but got a red light ticket with him in the car on the way to a work event!

Slacker thinks she should have stopped him from riding in the car with her in the first place. It’s partially her responsibility for allowing him to ride with her. Even if it’s a innocent act she shouldn’t have risked jeopardizing her marriage. He thinks she should intercept the ticket before he does. He doesn’t believe her act is completely innocent.

Steve doesn’t think the truth is good enough and that he won’t believe her. But he thinks the truth would be the only way to go about the situation. He doesn’t think the husband will believe what she’ll tell him but he thinks it’s the only choice she has. He thinks a lie would make the situation even worse and possibly jeopardize the marriage even more.

What do you think she should do?

I don’t think the act sounds completely innocent. I think if she respected her husband and their marriage enough she would have never gotten in the car with him. Obviously she didn’t honor his request and there has to be more reason behind it than a simple car ride.
Signed,
Intern Courtney

I was very disappointed in the responses Candy got on the show. Her mistake is not that she let the work spouse ride in the car, it was that she promised her husband that she wouldn't let him in the car. If her relationship with the work spouse has always been innocent, as in no physical relationship, then she should not have to defend herself for spending time with him. The husband has the insecurity and this will keep coming up even if she manages to hide this ticket because our insecurities are always challenged until we learn to face them. She should come clean immediately and not let her marriage have deception of any kind. Candy should not have to choose her husband and his insecurities over her job. Where ever she works will be people that spend more time with her than her husband does because that is where she spends most of the day. This could bring the two of them closer if they face these problems with integrity and talk about them openly. I think she should tell him what happened and let him know that she should have talked to him sooner, but she was afraid of how he would react. She should talk about her difficulty with having to tell people at work about her problems at home and even ask what he would feel like if she asked him to do the same thing with the people he works with. I hope this helps because I don't assume that Candy is cheating on her husband. Sometimes we do develop friendships with people we work with that can be threatening to others, but as long as we are not giving more of ourselves to that person than we are to our spouse or we are not physically having affairs, it is not wrong.