The homework scheduleHere is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes.

15 minutes - looking for assignment.
11 minutes - calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes - explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.
8 minutes - in the bathroom.
10 minutes - getting a snack.
7 minutes - checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes - telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes - sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.