Thursday, August 16, 2012

I can totally understand that if you live in a sitcom. I mean really, vacations and state fairs and block parties and laying out by the pool? I could totally get into that.

However my summers are never like that. Never.

Here's why:

1. I go to school. I don't have time for that whole "summer break" crap. I need to make some money, which means I need to finish this college nonsense as fast as I can, which means no breaks.

2. My children are young which means they don't get to just "go outside and play". If they go outside to play that means mama is either sitting at the screen door or sitting out in the hot sun sweating like a pig and bored out of her mind. I don't want to sit outside perspiring and bored. I want to sit inside where there is air conditioning.... however if the door is open and I am sitting at the screen door, that means the air conditioner is off and I am inside sweating like a pig. Either way, Mama is sweating like a pig or the kids are stuck inside with cabin fever and fighting like two cats in a burlap sack. Neither of these scenarios are my idea of a good time.

3. We don't have money for vacations. I don't get paid for going to school, I don't get paid for taking care of my kids, and I definitely don't get paid because I have fabulous fashion sense. Some day I will make gobs of money and bring my girls on fabulous vacations to Europe and Texas. (My oldest wants to go to Texas and while I think this is completely absurd... I'll probably take her there anyway) We just have to be patient, but we'll get there eventually.

4. Bugs. Summer is the worst time for bugs. They are everywhere and they seems to grow in size and sheer audacity in the summer. Mosquitoes, moths, spiders. Ugh. Even the word spiders makes me break out in a cold sweat.I just broke out in a cold sweat twice as I was writing that.
Summer for me means I spend every waking moment with a fly swatter in my hand just in case. It means I refuse to sit down anywhere outside without thoroughly inspecting the area first. I'm always on guard. It's like I''m fighting in my own private war and every bug I kill is a battle. I'll never win the war but I will sure as shit never be caught in a battle without my fly swatter.

5, We don't have a pool and even if we did, it wouldn't be my thing because I am not a strong swimmer and we are surrounded by trees crawling with insects (refer to paragraph above).

There are reasons that I love summer. I love it that the kiddos and I can totally sleep in which means they get to stay up really late with me and I don't feel like the worst mother on the planet. I love it that the days are longer and I love that when the sun shines through the windows it motivates me to get off my tush and clean the house...

If I'm going to be honest (which I try to be on here, because if not, what's the point?) the good parts of summer probably outweigh the bad. My life is pretty fantastic in the larger scheme of things and I really have no complaints... but as this blog post comes on the tail end of me killing a huge spider (cold sweat) in my guest bathroom.... I cannot wait for Fall.