Back in the day I used to use UST tyres on UST rims. Worked brilliantly, but the rims were narrow and heavy. (or wide and REALLY heavy)

So i bought into the Stans hype. In this case - on my big bike, I've got Flow rims and want to run a UST tyre on the front, so yellow tape only and a dual ply non-ust on the back with the rim strip. This is a setup I've run before, and once inflated, works perfectly.

Normally, I can just about get them to inflate with much cursing swearing and heaving on the track pump and using neat fairy round the bead, but it's always a ball ache, I HATE doing it - everything gets covered in fairy and is slippy, and I have to 1/2 murder muyself to get enough pressure going. Takes teh best part of an hour, and I always end up losing my temper over it.

This time, no joy. And at 1745 on a Saturday night, I've just managed to snap the top off my track pump and in the same process take out the low hanging florry tube in my workshop. So i've now got a lake of neat washing up liquid with a sprinkling of glass in it, and a buggered track pump flooding my worlshop, and I can't go out tomorrow on the bike I've just put £300 worth of new bits on (hell, there's best part of £100 worth of frigging tyres!). The tyre was a tight fit on the rim, and I thought it might even go up dry (had to use the big tyres levers to get it to pop on. But no. Defeated by a frigging bike tyre.

It's absolutely destroying me, that something so damn simple as pumping up tyres should be so unbelievably difficult (especially when full UST was so easy). Tubes isn't an answer as I'd have to run DH ones to avoid pinch flats, and that just makes the bike awful to ride (been there, done that). Do I seriously have to spend £100+ on a compressor, just to blow up some damn bike tyres???? (In reality it's going to be nearer double that to get a compressor that's poky enough to justify it's existance in other ways)

(I've seen assorted bodges with lemonade bottles. Not really interested in those, as the idea of it failing in a confined space doesn't really inspire me.)

Is there a simple, clean, easy, cheap way, that just, f...ing works???

(and yes, if you really feel the need, you can roll out the ancient Badger photo)

How warm is your workshop? I unseated my rear tyre last week to add more sealant and it wouldn't go back up with the track pump as it normally would. Used a hair dryer to warm up the beads and it then went up easily. That's a tubeless ready (Continental protection) tyre on a Flow rim. Did you seat the tyre with a tube overnight?

I'm a long time mavic UST user, switched to Stans about a year ago with some trepidation and have to say it's been effortless. Everything's gone up first time with a track pump, even moved away from UST tyres recently to TLR nae problems. So I think for sure it does work, but clearly not universally so for all tyre combinations.

You probably know all the tricks anyhow, but the inner tube in to seat the tyre, followed by deflation and careful removal along one side has never failed me for a troublesome case. Had to do this now and again even with UST tyres that are a bit old.
Personally I would never buy a compressor to inflate bicycle tyres. If desperate, though, I would probably give the ghetto compressor a whirl. Can't you wrap it in an old pair of jeans or such like for safety?

Gonna bang on about on how awesome I am. Swapped my tyres over last night on flows - 2.4 ust RQs which are tight as ****. It's all technique just push the bead Into the middle with the valve last slosh some jizz in track pump to 40 psi - job done. No soap or levers and I do have tiny girl hands

Mine went up with just a foot pump, was a bit of a pain, and I ended up having to use vaseline on the bead to get it airtight enough for it to initially seat, but they did both go up without a compressor.

A compressor is definately the right tool for the job, but it can be done without.

As an aside, most of the petrol stations round here have gone to 'digital' compressors, and they're no good for inflating tubeless tyres, they dont supply anywhere near enough flow of air.

Get hold of one of those ratchet straps that you can use for securing cargo onto a roof rack or truck
With both beads of the tyre on the rim, tie the ratchet strap around the outside of the tyre (along the part of the tyre that contacts the ground.
Tighten it up so that it squishes the tyre in the same way that sitting on your bike does - but the strap does this all the way round.
With the sidewalls (and hopefully the beads) now in contact with the rim, inflate the tyre.
As you inflate, and the tyre starts to seat on the rim, you can gradually loosen the strap.

How is the valve connector rigged on that fence sprayer?
I've got a garden sprayer that i use for cleaning the bike, and fancy trying out your technique next time I swap my tubeless tyres (If/when the dry weather returns)

Never had a problem just using a track pump with Flows and UST Maxxis and Bontrager Big Earl tubeless ready tyres, until I burped one on the FoD downhill tracks - couldn't get it back up after that for some reason.

I've tried inflating without the valve core in in the past. It does make the initial inflation easier. But then you have to deflate the tyre to put the core back in. At which point one of the beads is guaranteed to break it's seal, and the only way it will reinflate will be to break the second one, so that both are touching in the rim well and start again, at which point you've acheived nothing by inflating without the valve core in.

dribbling buffoon with all the mechanical ability of a chimp on PCP

Possibly, but still one who has been employed in the past because of his bike mechanicing skills...

Once the tyre is try squashing the tyre so the beads move (hopefully) closer to rim, valve at the bottom. Pump like ****. I've only got one layer of yellow tape & perhaps get rid of the cloth rim strip..

I feel your pain. despite some tubeless ready claims, some times just wont seal up on stans rims. continental mountain king 2s are a bitch to seal. its deffo the choice of tyres. schwalbe hans dampf went up 1st time with a track pump. bontrager & schawble tyres seem to seal up easily too.

Leave the valve core out, FFS! You get a billion times more air flow with the core out. Pump like **** then once the thing is seated, get the pump head off and your thumb over the valve stem sharpish before doing a bit of fast hand movements swappy stuff to get the core back in using the proper Stans tool. Costs about a fiver, no need for a compressor