How To Score A Barmaid

It started as a bet with an old drinking buddy, but it turned into a real wake-up call. We were down at a new pub in Tribeca hoisting a few pints after a tough week of work and James, my long-time wingman, wagered me $20 I couldn't get the bartender's phone number. She was hot, but not otherworldly hot, so I took the challenge.

I reckoned myself some kind of expert on the subtleties of picking up barmaids, having written an article about it a while back. I stuck to every word of advice I gave in that column — I didn't over tip or shower her with compliments, avoided chatting her up when it was busy and poured the charm on as thick as J?germeister. But this girl had either read my article or built up an impenetrable immunity to customer's advances because I hopped out of the cab at the end of the night phone numberless and $20 poorer.

Of course, I didn't hang my head too low; it certainly wasn't the first time I had been denied. Instead of dwelling on it, I took a step back and realized there is even more to picking up a barmaid than you think. First of all, most of these girls are gorgeous (that's how they got the job). Secondly, they see guys at their absolute worst all the time — prowling, boozing, fighting. So even before you open your mouth, they've probably got you lumped in with the rest of the typical lughead clientele. You've got to watch every step and choose every word carefully if you want to rise above this crowd.

It's not as hard as it sounds. Follow these simple guidelines and you might find yourself enjoying a lot more than free shots from your favorite barmaid.

be a good tipper

Don't be stingy with your tip, but also make sure you don't get sucked into showering her with massive, inappropriate gratuities. Either way, you'll come across as a tool. In fact, some unsavoury girls will work you like a first-year intern if they pick up on your vibe. They'll milk you for every penny they can, giving you just enough suggestive looks or hair tosses to make you think you're making an impression. And you are making an impression — on her savings account.

Want to land that number? Then resist the urge to flirt with others...