Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2012 01:41:50 -0400
From: John xxx
Subject: There's Always Hope Chapter 9
Welcome back! Enjoy!
2 Months later...
Luke's POV: It was Wednesday, it was math class, and I couldn't get it off
my mind. I had been thinking a lot about my future lately and how I wanted
it. I was throwing questions at myself I shouldn't even have to think about
yet like...where I wanted to live, and what kind of job I wanted to get,
where I wanted to retire, should I get a dog...maybe a cat? I had three
more years left of college, and there was really no need to think about
stuff like that yet but...I couldn't get my mind off it. Then I started to
think about who I wanted to be with...which wasn't a difficult question,
because I loved Tyler, and I didn't want to be with anyone else. But one
thing was bothering me...if I spent my whole life with Tyler...I would
never have kids of my own. Once again...stupid question to be thinking
about as a freshman in college but...it was true. I really wanted kids of
my own. I wanted a big family, and I wanted to be proud of my family. My
thoughts were cut off by everyone getting up to leave. The walk back from
class was even worse...I was overwhelmed by all these questions. I felt
stuck with no chance of breaking free. I did my best to set all of it aside
for the rest of the day, hopefully forever. I got back to my room to find
Tyler sitting on the futon. Eventually I decided to leave my door unlocked
so he could come and go whenever, it seemed easier.
"Hey, how was class?" he asked, standing up from the futon. He started
walking my way and I already knew what was coming.
"Not too bad" I said, just before he got to me. He wrapped his arms around
my lower waist and pulled me in tight. Our lips locked and for what seemed
like forever. My stomach growled ruining the mood...we both laughed a
little breaking the kiss. "You hungry?" I asked.
"Yea, I could use some food" he replied. So we grabbed what we needed and
headed out the door. I felt a little awkward throughout the whole meal. I
wanted to tell him so bad what I've been worrying about, we've always told
each other everything...even when we noticed other guys we would both say
`yea, I'd tap that'...obviously joking, or if we really we were getting
annoyed with each other for some reason, we would tell each other, and give
each other some space. We had the perfect, honest relationship, so it was
hard to keep this from him. But I couldn't tell him...I didn't want him to
think he wasn't good enough, or that I wasn't happy. So I hid it, hoping it
would go away.
Tyler's POV: It was a Friday night and I hadn't seen Luke since
Wednesday. Believe it or not, that was way too long, and I was going
crazy. He was sick yesterday and again today, so he told me to stay away
for fear of getting me sick. Which I had a hard time doing but...I didn't
really want to get sick, so...I just let him be. But...that could only last
for so long. Victor was nowhere to be found, nobody was in the dorms, and I
had no plans for the night. So...I decided to be rebellious and go over to
see him for a little bit anyways. I'm not sure what would be worse...severe
boredom, or being sick. It's debatable. So I threw on some nice clothes and
headed out the door. I thought about stopping by the store and picking up
some ice cream or something but...decided against it. I was poor. I stood
outside his hall for a few minutes before someone let me in...thank
god...it was fucking cold out. I reached the door and just decided to barge
in...I wanted to surprise him. I threw open the door to find something that
haunts me to this day. It took me a second to understand, and to comprehend
what was happening. I froze with fear and anger. Luke had someone pinned
against the wall, and it wasn't me. He didn't notice me at first, he was
just fucking away. I saw it was definitely a girl, and after a moment or so
she noticed me. I just turned around, walked out, and slammed the door. I
started walking as fast as I could down the hallway. I wanted to get as far
away from there is possible. I felt far more defeated than angry. Luke was
the first guy I'd ever felt loved by, and now I just felt like a cheap
hooker. My mind was screaming all the way back to my dorm. And of course,
Victor was there when I got back...perfect. I must have looked terrible. We
locked eyes for a second and I turned right back around and headed to the
parking lot. I needed to be alone.
"Hey, are you ok?" Victor asked, chasing me out the door.
"Not really" I said, not even looking back. "Just...please leave me alone"
I said, continuing to walk out the door. I practically jogged out to my
car. I got in, turned it on, and ripped out of the parking lot. I headed
onto a back road and punched the pedal to the floor. Tears started free
falling from my eyes; I could barely see the road. I saw the needle float
by the 100 mark on the speedometer. I wanted to get as far away from him as
possible. I felt worthless...
Luke's POV: There I sat...alone and afraid. I was lost, and there was no
one who could help me. I never thought about it that hard until that
week...did I really want to be with a guy for the rest of my life. I was
definitely bi, but...did I like girls or guys more? It had been a while
since I'd done anything with a girl and the questions running through my
mind were killing me. It was Friday, and I had been ignoring Tyler since
Wednesday. I didn't know how to face him. I was going out of my mind so...I
decided around noon to have a drink...to try and calm the stress. But it
just got worse, and by 4pm, I was wasted. I was just about to call Tyler
and spill out all my problems when I heard a knock on my door. I put down
my phone and stumbled over to the door. I opened it to find one of my
neighbors, Allison. She took one look at me and she already knew something
was wrong. She was one of my best friends at school...I met her on move in
day and she was always really nice. We hung out a few times but I hadn't
seen her for a while.
"What's wrong?" she asked letting herself in. "you look like shit".
"Nothing...just stressed" I replied sitting back down on my futon.
"oh ok" she said sitting down next to me. We talked for the next few hours,
she kept on prying at my mind, trying to get out what was really wrong
but...she didn't get anywhere. After a while the mood started to
change. She moved a little closer to me and started asking how she could
help. She moved her hand to my thigh and that's when I knew exactly what
she wanted. My first instinct was to slap her hand away and tell her to get
out. But I was desperate for an answer. I needed to know what I wanted, and
there was only one way to find out. So I moved on top of her and started
kissing her. I was trying to get into it...but she stopped me after a
minute or so.
"That hurts, go a little softer" she moaned, trying to sound sexy. Go
softer? I wasn't even kissing her that hard, or touching her that
hard. But...I gentled up a little anyways. My kisses became lighter and I
was barely touching her. I pulled off my shirt and ducked back down into a
kiss. After a minute or two I pulled of her shirt and reached behind to
undo her bra. A few minutes later we were both naked, and I was having
mixed feelings about all of it. I pushed her up against the wall and
started going at it. I was barely hard enough to do it, and within the next
minute, I knew I'd definitely made a mistake. The way she was moaning and
whimpering just annoyed me, and I felt like I was holding back. I missed
Tyler...but I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to piss Allison off by
just stopping in the middle and kicking her out...so I kept going. I
doubted I could even cum. I just closed my eyes and kept going. Just when I
thought she was done she started begging for more, and all I wanted to do
was stop. I was almost disgusted, and I was more than pissed at myself for
letting it happen. All of a sudden, I felt her tense up...I opened my eyes
and saw her staring at something, and that's when I heard it. The door
slammed. I knew what just happened, and I didn't know what to do. I froze
for what seemed like minutes.
"Get out" was all I could say when I regained a little control. She could
see how devastated I was. Before I knew it, the biggest mistake of my life
was on her way out the door.
"I don't know what just happened there but...I'm sorry." She said as she
shut the door. I didn't reply...I just walked over to the futon and sat
down. I was afraid to call, afraid to text, and afraid to confront. I just
wanted to die. I knew it was over, why would he stay with me now? It was
over, and I didn't need to hear the words to know it.
Victor's POV: All I wanted to do was help. I was going crazy sitting in the
room waiting for him to come back. There was only one thing I knew that
could make him that upset, something must have happened between him and
Luke. I tried calling him a few times but...I couldn't get an answer. All I
could do was sit and hope he would come back.
Tyler POV: I pulled back into the parking lot after 5 hours of nothing but
driving. I felt officially depressed, and it sucked. Driving around
aimlessly seemed to help a little though. I dragged myself back to the
dorms with nothing but hate in my heart. I entered the room to find Victor
still up; he looked almost as bad as me...I briefly pondered what could be
wrong with him but the thought of Luke wouldn't leave my mind.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked in a concerned tone.
"Nope" I replied. I didn't realize how mean that would sound until I said
it but...I didn't care. I just wanted to sleep and forget...which would be
next to impossible. I threw off my shirt and shorts, and then climbed up
into bed. I shut my eyes, and after what seemed like days, I feel asleep.
Victor's POV: It was Sunday night, and I don't think Tyler had moved the
whole weekend. He just stayed in bed watching tv and eating food. I wanted
so badly to help, but he made it clear he didn't want it...and it hurt to
hear him say it. And what I wanted most was to tell him how I feel
but...after what just happened, it felt too soon. And for all I knew, it
wasn't completely over between the two of them. So I decided to lay low,
see what happens, and if it really was over I'd stop being a pussy and just
tell him how I feel.
Tyler's POV: After being cooped up in the dorm all weekend I decided to get
some fresh air. As I was walking down the hallway, I pulled at my phone to
read Luke's text again. He sent it Saturday morning and I've read it a
thousand times. I keep telling myself to delete it but...I couldn't bring
myself to do it.
Luke: There's nothing I can really say...I know I'm an asshole, I know I
fucked up, and I know I don't deserve you. I'm not sending this text to ask
you to forgive me or to come back...I'm sending it because I've never felt
so shitty in my life and I could never live with myself if I didn't say
something. Truth is...I love you, and I know it's hard for you to believe
that but its true. I needed to know if I was gay or straight or bi...and I
felt that was the only way to find out. Biggest mistake of my life. I know
I don't deserve you anymore, so all I can really say is goodbye.
Those words were stuck in my head. I never sent him a text back, nor will I
ever send him a text back. I was too furious. The text was a lie. It had to
be...and I would never give in and let him talk to me. I stormed out of the
doors and started walking. I wandered around campus for hours trying to
think of anything but reality. I tried thinking of classes and what I
needed to get done. Then I tried thinking of my family and friends
but...nothing was helping. I was walking by the Recreation Center when I
heard some yelling from behind the building. I ignored it at first but...it
started to sound bad.
"Shut up you fucking pussy, no one's going to help you" I heard a voice
softly hiss. I thought I should check it out...so I quietly crept around
the corner. I saw three guys pinning a kid to the ground. Two of the guys
were holding his arms and legs down while the other was straddled on top
punching him in the ribs. They covered his mouth so he wouldn't yell. The
guy continued punching and slapping him everywhere...and I couldn't bear
the sight of it anymore. They didn't look too big, and I was pissed, so I
moved out from behind the corner and got ready for something I knew I would
regret.
"I'd get off him" I said in a casual tone. "I think he's had enough". They
all stared at me with shocked expressions...apparently they didn't think
people would still be walking around at 1 in the morning.
"Get the fuck out of here" the guy who was throwing the punches said
getting up off his victim. Either leave, or you're getting the shit kicked
out of you to" he threatened. I laughed a little; I honestly didn't care if
I got beat up. It couldn't possibly hurt worse than what I've been dealing
with all weekend.
"Haha go for it, I'm not going anywhere" I said.
"Just keep him down" the asshole said "I'll deal with it." The two on the
ground stayed put and he started walking my way. I honestly wasn't scared
at all. I let all the pain Luke gave me turn to anger as I ducked his first
punch. I stepped back and threw a two punch combo landing it right on his
face...and I didn't stop. I hit him twice more in the stomach and tossed
him on the ground. Then out of nowhere I was hit in the face. I shook it
off and saw that one of the guys holding the kid down wasn't there. The guy
I threw down was getting up and was of his friends was coming right back at
me. He ran at me trying to tackle me...but just as he was about to make
contact I stepped aside and tripped him. I quickly jumped on him and hit
him a good three times in the face. I saw out of the corner of my eye the
other guy coming at me, so I jumped off and prepared for his next move. He
swung a solid punch and caught my left cheek. Without missing a beat I
faked a punch up high making him duck down and hit him hard in the face
with my knee. He instantly dropped to the ground. I jumped on top of him
and landed another punch on his face, and with that he was knocked out. As
I was acknowledging my success, the other guy tackled me and pinned me on
the ground. He started punching me without any breaks. Just punch after
punch. I could feel the pain but I was pissed. Pissed at Luke, pissed at
myself, and pissed at life. And all of that kept me going. I was able to
throw him off me with my legs. I could tast the salty blood dripping from
my nose. He ran at me again in another attempt to tackle me...but I raised
my leg, and kicked him as hard as I could just before he got to me. He
fell, getting right back up. I kicked him again in the side of the leg and
he fell to the ground in pain...I was pretty sure I broke or tore
something. He clearly wasn't getting up. I looked to the last man standing
who was still holding the kid down. I started walking towards him and he
just got up and left...what a pussy. I went over to help the kid up and he
was barely conscious. I lifted him up, put his arm around me, and started
walking him back towards the dorms.
"T-t-thank you" he said. He was trying to say more but...he couldn't get
the words out.
"What dorm are you in?" I managed to stutter out. I was exhausted from the
struggle and my head was killing me.
"Bowen hall" he choked out. I helped him all the way back to his room. They
must have been beating him for a while, he was in rough shape. He keyed
into his room, his arm still around me hanging like he could fall at any
moment. When we got in, I laid him on his bed and went into his bathroom. I
grabbed a small towel and wetted it down. I went back into the room and he
was already sleeping. I gently wiped the blood off his face and hands,
trying not to wake him up. I took his shoes off and put him under the
blankets. This kid owed me big time. I sat down on the couch and cleaned
myself off...thinking of everything that went down. And then thoughts of
everything else started to flood into my mind and before I knew it...I was
asleep.
There ya go. Hope you liked it! Any feedback please send to
jt6355x@gmail.com. Any type of feedback is much appreciated! I can also
add you to my contact list so I can notify you when the next chapter is
out. Thanks for reading!!!