Wildmon: War on Christmas Leads to Christian Persecution

Tim Wildmon of the American Family Association, for whom the mythical “war on Christmas” is nothing more than a marketing slogan designed to sell Jesus junk, says that this non-existent “war” is just a precursor to the dystopic wet dream of every wingnut, the persecution of Christians.

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

Martyrbation syndrome at work here!

Not that I came up with that. Saw the word elsewhere forget where. On FTB in a comment,.. apologies to the person who did.

Fits perfectly tho’.

matty1

It’s true, think about it every great persecution in history began when people were wished well with not exactly the right words. Who can forget the chilling incidents when Hutus started saying “good morning” to Tutsis instead of “good day”?

StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

“This is not a phony war”

Yeah it is.

By definition no bullets fly in phony wars.

No bullets fly but bores sure bore.

And not in rifles nor in guns

But on TV shows flapping gums.

I may be drunk but can still say

This war is looking not au fait.

For war on Xmas, mothafukkas

Not compares with a good Hanukkahs!

So ya arseholes “Chag sameach!”

This Xmas war may be be your peach

Not frozen yet but sure not burnin’

Fox TV’s just stomach turnin’!

Suck on this ya silly fools

Ole Xmas is what ya make of it tools!

StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

– With apologies to Digital Cuttlefish who may well ha’ thought o’ this first.

StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

An’ anyone wanting to put the words n my comment #3 into a rap song be my guest and go ahead, please!

African Americans and Jews don’ need to be enemies. Hope we’re not & can help each other be good folks.

http://drx.typepad.com Dr X

I bet most of these modern martyrs would fold like a cheap card table if they ever actually faced real persecution. Jesus? Jesus who? Does he play for the Mets?

Michael Heath

Ed reports:

Tim Wildmon of the American Family Association, for whom the mythical “war on Christmas” is nothing more than a marketing slogan designed to sell Jesus junk, says that this non-existent “war” is just a precursor to the dystopic wet dream of every wingnut, the persecution of Christians.

While ironically denying the actual threat of climate change; delusional and idiocy squared.

I would have thought they would have been all in favour of Christians persecuting.

Dingo.

======

Persecution? They wouldn’t know even the edges of meaning of the word.

Somehow this comes to mind:

Elizabeth: You have been tortured?

Proctor: Aye. (Pause. She will not let herself be drowned in the sea that threatens her.) They come for my life now.

Elizabeth: .I know it

Pause.

Proctor: None have yet confessed?

Elizabeth: There be many confessed.

Proctor: Who are they?

Elizabeth: There be a hundred or more, they say. Goody Ballard is one; Isaiah Goodkind be one, There be many.

Proctor: Rebecca?

Elizabeth: Not Rebecca. She is one foot in Heaven now; naught may her hurt her more.

Proctor And Giles?

Elizabeth: Have you not heard of it?

Proctor: I hear nothin’, where I am kept.

Elizabeth: Giles is dead.

He looks at her incredulously

Proctor: When were he hanged?

Elizabeth (quietly, factually): He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied they’d hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died. Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be condemned a wizard without he answer the indictment aye or nay.

Proctor: Then how does he die?

Elizabeth (gently): They press him, John.

Proctor: Press?

Elizabeth: Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. (with a tender smile for the old man): They say he did gave them but two words. “More weight” he says And died.

Proctor: (Numbed – a thread to weave into his agony: “More weight”?

Elizabeth: Aye. It were a fearsome man, Giles Corey

Scott Hanley

Little known historical fact: before the Knights Who Say Ni, there were the Centurions Who Say Happy Holidays. Christians were known to beg for the lions instead.

Ichthyic

We should have a real “persecute Christians month”, just so the privileged can learn for themselves what actual persecution looks like.

just one month.

they’ve NEVER really experienced persecution in the entire history of their faith.

just one month, treating them like the US treated Japanese American citizens in WWII.

they deserve it.

we deserve to see it.

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About the Author

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. Read More...