My Dirty Addiction

No matter how hard I try, these words…they won’t leave my mind. As I replay his voice in my head over and over and over again, my heart sinks into my stomach and my defenses stand at attention. His intentions are warm and inviting and yet I find myself disgusted by every action he takes and at every word that leaves his soft lips like harmony leaves a violin. I should be soothed and entranced by his manipulation but for some reason, his spells don’t work on me. I’m a defect, a flaw in nature. I must embarrassingly admit that a part of me longs to be enchanted by his toxic song even thought it could end deadly. Although he is dangerous, I should not be worried as he should be. You see, my intentions are good and my feelings are pure but the effects of my decisions are fatal to the heart and I have taken many. I don’t want to tear him apart but the violence is sweet and the blood tastes good to the tongue. And for that, I have an addiction, an addiction to being loved.