1 Month Here, 4 Years Gone

When I met the German, I never imagined I would move to Germany to be with him. I don’t know what I expected to happen, just that I was gonna go with the flow. I went with that flow for a while until it seemed like one of us had to move or we would have to end it. We couldn’t accept the latter, so we went with the former. I can say honestly that everything feels…. just right. I suspect that is how most people feel when they are in committed relationship with someone who they can see marrying and having a family with someday. I mean if it didn’t feel right, would you do it? Heck no! But being here makes me ask questions to which I will never know the answer. What would my Mother have said and thought?

As I begin to know the German culture, I’m reminded of my Mom quite often. This place would have suited her. She was not a beer drinker, but she was a meat and potato kind of lady. You can only imagine going to pastry school and trying to show off your newly honed skills to someone who would prefer a tender steak to a bite flourless chocolate torte with a dollop of chantilly and fresh berries. It was frustrating. But in Germany, dessert isn’t important either, if you can find something other than ice cream….

They garden here, the food is mostly fresh in every grocery store I’ve been in and their ham tastes like ham; I realized over the last month here that the ham I ate at home never tasted half as good as their ham. This is the place my Mom would have marveled over if you could ever get her to leave home; she was a homebody in a lot of ways. She gardened, she loved nature, every meal needed to have a protein and if not a potato or two, definitely a carb. And she loved a good chocolate bar once in a while too which Germany has the best of.

That’s what makes me smile whenever I feel really lost here. When I walk by gardens I can imagine her there, working happily, completely in her element. Sometimes I’ll be on the couch reading with the windows wide open and I can see this old couple across the street on their balcony with these bright red flowers- these beautiful flowers that remind me so much of the color of the living room my Mom had to paint red. I close my eyes and remember the way she would kiss me on my forehead while I would read. She did this my entire life, from the moment I could pick up a book to a few weeks before she passed away. It would make me smile.

And I guess this post seems a little different from normal, but the theme is this; I’ve been in Germany one month, but I’ve been away from home for 4 years. I’ve moved all over ever since and now I’m finally making a home for myself here in Germany. I’m keeping tabs on my family who are far away and sparse, and I’m adding new family. I am happy here and right now, I feel like this is where I belong. 1 Month here and that’s a good start!

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2 thoughts on “1 Month Here, 4 Years Gone”

That’s a really beautiful post, and a gorgeous photo. In Germany I’m so far away from my family too, my parents and my fanastic young niece and nephews. It’s hard some days, but usually I think of them, smile and keep on with my day. I’m home with them all at the moment, but only for a few more days. There WILL be tears at the airport on Monday.