You know women still have a long way to go when you hear them say, 'my husband lets me do what I want to'

When I was young, my ambitions were many. Be on Doordarshan reading the news at 9, rose tucked behind my ear, be a saviour of helpless puppies, be a genius. Anything but a teacher. My mother influenced that. As a high school teacher, she would come back home stressed and tired, pour her heart out to Dad about bitchy colleagues and work-pressure as she sipped her evening tea. I would sit beside her later as she vanquished piles of exam papers with red ink, her brows furrowed, oblivious to my existence. I found it daunting to visualise me teaching from the same books year after year with undiminished passion.

Famous last words. A decade later I was unravelling the mystery of computer coding to school kids, a halo of chalk dust around my head. Another decade and a half of loving and then hating my job, I went back to my first love, writing. Click here to read more....

36 comments:

Nice article, but I don't completely agree with it. Although it raises a very strong point about women and their freedom to do what they want to do (society always comes in between na?) but I feel this is more so the case with the older generation. The current generation of couples share household responsibilities equally, be it cooking or chores or looking after kids. And what is it with only the husband "letting you do stuff"? There are a lot of things that you dont let your children do or you don't let your husband do. I think its a very generalized statement. Doesn't apply to 90% of the younger generation who don't stay with in-laws. I see absolutely nothing wrong in saying my husband let's me do whatever I want to do. I choose to look at it as "support" and not as "permission" because I KNOW that is what it is :)Anyway to each is own, and good attempt at writing the article!

I do not think that assertiveness and respect for each other is limited to a certain age group. It's very individualistic. However I can only write from what I have observed. Like you said, to each her own :-)

Independence is different for each person. For example If I want to cut my hair super short, I dont ask anyone for permission. I just do it to please myself. And nobody cares. But I know people who likes to keep their hair short but cant do so because their husband will not allow. Or vice versa, when the husband wants to show others that his wife is modern, he orders her to cut those long locks! This happens today, in this era among highly qualified people and I still dont believe we are an independent nation !Well I am a working mother, I dont feel guilty about not spending time with my son because I get to spend ample time with him thanks to the proximity of my office, home and his playgroup. But my neighbor is crying because I am sending my son to playgroup "so early" (my son is turning 3 already does she expect me to home school him? I am not Kate Middleton you see) ...and she sympathizes with me and how my life turned out to be..! Whereas I am just happy I am earning on my own and giving my son the best I can ! I may not be the best cook in the world, but no one ever died because they ate what I cooked and that makes me a reasonable cook , and I am not striving to be the best cook either :-) When we want to eat something nice, we just go to our favorite restaurant :-) Oh and by the way my husband makes the best beef curry in town - due to which some of my relatives think that I am a bossy female. Nice article Purba...all the way I thought it was about me !

I took nearly 4 years off my job when our daughter was born. Yet, when I had to leave her behind after I resumed working, I heard my neighbour call me a heartless Mom. The trick is to believe in yourself and not what others are trying to tell you. And I think you're doing a perfect job of it.

A partnership works if both talk things over before making any major decision and if both are supportive of each other. Getting your life partner - male or female - to toe your line is inconsideration and arrogance. Getting them to toe the line taken by the majority is cowardice.

purba,Happy Womens'day to allthe lovely ladies.I agree,there is a long way to go,but,I do see a distinct change in the attitude of the men folk as women are getting educated are becoming economically independent.

Not just women, Purba, I feel everyone in this country is a prisoner of their image. Old people are supposed to behave a certain way, as are kids, teenagers, men. Why, we don't even want dogs and cats behaving any different than what is expected of them! But yes, no doubt that women always seem to get the short end of the stick when it comes to choosing between their dreams and everybody else's expectations.

Women must aim for financial independence!! I ALWAYS advise everyone I know to get themselves equipped to provide for themselves and have the freedom to walk away from people who are in a position to ill treat them!