‘I’m In My 20s And Addicted To Hardcore Porn’

Jenna was a teenager when she first started viewing porn, but the habit quickly spiralled out of control. Photo: iStockSource:Whimn

Jenna was in her late teens when she discovered porn. At first it was harmless fun that made her feel pleasantly aroused, but it didn’t take long to escalate into something she craved.

“I watched it at every opportunity,” she tells whimn.com.au. “It was quick sneaky stolen moments during the day, then late night in bed I could watch it for as long as I wanted after my parents had gone to sleep.”

At first, she watched “meat and potatoes” straight stuff, but the more she got into it, the more she searched for things she hadn’t seen before.

“I started watching more and more hardcore stuff,” tells Jenna. “The standard stuff stopped turning me on, so I sought out really hardcore anal, and gang banging, or penetration with crazy stuff. It’s like my brain needed more and more to get the same thrill and I couldn’t resist the urge to watch it,” she says.

Jenna was watching hours of porn every day. Photo: iStockSource:Whimn

When Serious Boyfriend Numero Uno came along the porn cat got out of the bag when Jenna got a tad careless with her laptop after a lounge room session.

“Dean was shocked when he saw what was on my screen. One day we jumped on to my computer and up popped the last thing I was watching as I hadn’t closed the tab. I was mortified,” she says.

“He knew I watched a little porn, but when he saw the seriously hardcore stuff I was looking at to get my rocks off I realised how intense it looked.

“That day we discussed how much of it I was actually watching and I admitted it had become an issue.”

Jenna had been watching hours per day. With porn easily available on any device except most kitchen appliances it wasn’t hard to do. And she isn’t alone. According to the PornHub 2014 viewer review, Australia is ranked 7th in the world for porn use.

A 2015 study by Marie Claire, which surveyed 3000 women discovered that one in three women watch porn every week, while one in 10 watch it every day. Often porn can be a handy tool used to enhance sexuality, teach you a few tricks, or help you get your rocks off quickly. No harm done.

But when you feel like you can’t control the urge to cop a peek of people getting nah-sty, you may need to check your habits.

Sally, 43, had been a keen masturbator with a love of toys. Then she started to incorporate a bit of online porn to her self-play.

“It became a problem for me when I only used a vibrator and needed the visual stimulation from porn to really enjoy it. For a period of time I would slip it in during time alone, use porn and over time I didn’t feel I could control the urges. I had to do it,” Sally recalls.

For a two years Sally didn’t date or want to meet people for sex or relationships, she used porn as her fix. It became her “awkward secret.”

“There was a certain level of anxiety and at times shame it triggered for me - or maybe my feelings triggered the over-use of porn, so like any addictive behaviour, I had to really challenge the ‘urges’ and times when it felt like I had to do it.

“There was an underlying anxiety issue that definitely sustained it for me,” she says.

“I know I’ll be able to use it in a healthy way again one day, but I just needed to break that habit.”

While there can often be a lot of shame around female sexuality and the use of porn, sexologist and couples therapist Isiah McKimmie, believes it can be beneficial to a healthy sex life.

“There can actually be benefits to watching pornography, including having more open attitudes about sex, discovering new sexual practices to try and increasing arousal. If someone wants to watch pornography - alone or with a partner, I fully support them in that. Until or unless it becomes problematic,” Isiah says.

But how much Redtube is too much if you’re not going over your data cap? When does it become an “addiction”?

Interestingly, there is actually still a significant debate in the scientific and therapeutic communities on whether pornography addiction is a “real” addiction.

However, according to Isiah, those who work clinically are seeing larger numbers of clients who report than pornography viewing has become problematic for them.

“Increasingly we’re seeing pornography become a problem with the compulsion to watch pornography getting in the way of normal daily functioning or inhibiting real life relationships.

“For example, people may miss work to watch pornography, stay up late binge-watching porn - and then be too tired to function the following day - choose the ‘sure-thing’ of watching porn over dating or find it difficult to become aroused without pornography,” says Isiah.

Is x-rated activity taking over your life? Photo: iStockSource:Whimn

If you have identified that your porn use is spiraling out of control, treating it like other addictions can help the issue.

“When struggling from any kind of addiction, it’s incredibly important to seek and surround yourself with support. Look for support groups online or in person - such as NoFap, Reddit, a 12 step program - Porn Addicts anonymous - and a trained therapist who specialises in sex or addiction,” suggests Isiah.

“There may be underlying emotions and relationship patterns that trigger your porn use, and working through these with a therapist can help. You can also put porn blocking software on your device and allow a trusted friend to choose the password.”

Like chocolate, wine and tanning, just the right amount is what you need to aim for a balanced life. Everyone’s threshold will be different, but you need to know when it’s time to put that vice down.