Top Table Seating Plan

URGHHHHHH!
Everyone seems to have an opinion on this. Who you should and should not have at the top table, the correct order, etc etc.

I say…..STUFF EM!

That’s right you heard me. It is your day, so do it your way. By that, I mean whatever feels right for you, your partner and those closest to you.

In this blog I am offering up suggestions and alternatives that you may not have thought of.

Traditional UK etiquette

If you want to do it the completely traditional way then follow the diagram below

Or any combination of this that works for you and your situation e.g. stepparents, children, grooms mum and dad wanting to sit together, etc.

On the plus side, this is usually a blend of family and friends so the best of both worlds and these people are usually the ‘speech givers’ so they don’t have to shuffle too far to get the mic.

The Family Table

You could make it a family affair and just have parents, siblings and in-laws at the table. Also good if you have kids.

The Wedding Party Table

If you’d rather be surrounded by your friends for dinner, this is the best wedding top table seating plan for you. Instead of your family, you’ll reserve seats for your entire wedding party and (usually) their dates. This is great for those who want to start the party early – your Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man are bound to get the drinks flowing earlier than your mum and dad would 😉

The Sweetheart Table

I saw this recently at a wedding in Budapest and it’s popular in other countries too. If you can’t decide who you’d like to sit with or just want a little one-on-one time with your partner, go with a sweetheart table. This option accommodates two guests and two guests only, so you can have a mini date amidst all the mixing, mingling and wedding chaos. Keep in mind you’ll want to make your rounds after dessert finishes – being antisocial newlyweds is a no-no.

Go Flexible

Can’t settle on one group you want to sit with at your wedding reception? Well, good news, you can sit with all of them! Add two extra chairs to a few of the tables around your venue and spend the evening moving from place to place. You’ll want to divvy up your time evenly, so spend a courses length at each spot (i.e. starters at one table, main dish at another and dessert at a third). Remember, if you can’t squeeze every single table in, it’s not a problem, you can always talk to your other guests after dinner has wrapped.

Have a Buffet

Having a Buffet has its perks! It’s definitely the least formal of the bunch, but going for this option means that won’t have to stick to (or even make) a wedding top table seating plan. You can spend the evening playing musical chairs and moving from group to group while your munch on crudites and vol-au-vents. Bonus: it’s also the least expensive choice when it comes to catering, so you’ll be able to save a few £££s, too! And if it’s good enough for Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding….!

Each wedding is unique. The above is intended as some suggestions, but don’t feel like you’re doing it wrong if you want to deviate – it’s your day after all!

Whether you’re going traditional, it’s a second marriage or you want to include your children, this month’s wedding blog looks at the perfect wedding invitation wording.

Whether you’re going classical or creative with your invites, the right wording on them will depend on lots of things: if you’re naming parents on the invitation, if you’ve been married before or if it’s an evening or full-day invitation. There are some basic guidelines to follow that mean your guests will get all the information they need and you’ll have gorgeous invites that represent you and your day.

Basic Information To Include In Any Wedding

Here’s what to include in your wedding invitations:

Who’s hosting the wedding

The request to come to the wedding

The names of the couple

The location of the wedding

The date and time

Reception information

Dress code (if there is one)

RSVP details

Traditional Church Wedding Invitation Wording

A traditional wedding invitation would typically come from the parents of the bride, as tradition dictates that they host the day and foot the bill. As the bride’s parents would be hosting, the RSVPs would go back to them.

The text for a traditional wedding invitation to a church wedding ceremony, followed by the reception should read as follows:

Mr & Mrs John Smith
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane
to
Mr Edward Cullen

at St Andrew’s Church, Town, Townshire
on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm

and afterwards at
The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mr & Mrs John Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

Traditional Civil Ceremony Wedding Invitation Wording

You may have chosen to eschew the religious wedding ceremony, but still go down the traditional path of having the bride’s parents host the wedding.

You only need to list one venue on the invitation as the ceremony and reception will be in one place, but it’s best to include ‘followed by a reception’ so the guest knows they’ll be welcome at the ceremony as well as the celebrations after!

Mr & Mrs John Smith
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane
to
Mr Edward Cullen

at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire
on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mr & Mrs John Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

Wedding Invitation Wording with the Couple as Hosts

If your parents haven’t chipped in for the wedding, or you just feel like you’d like the invitations to come directly from you, then you don’t need to include their names on your wedding invitations. You can simply put yourself down as hosts – just tweak the text accordingly following the above examples to reflect whether you’re having a church or civil ceremony.

Miss Bella Bride and Mr Gary Groom
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at their marriage
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Miss B. Bride and Mr G. Groom
12 The Street
Town
BA1 2DC

Wedding Invitation Wording with Divorced and Remarried Parents

It can be tricky to know how to word your wedding invitations if your parents are divorced or have remarried. If they are divorced but neither of them has remarried (or just the father has), you would use both full names, like the example below:

Mr John Smith & Mrs Beth Smith
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane
to
Mr Edward Cullen
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mrs Beth Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

If your parents have divorced and both remarried but are still hosting the wedding together, you would name them separately and use your mother’s new married name, like so:

Mr John Smith & Mrs Beth Howard
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane
to
Mr Edward Cullen
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mrs Beth Howard
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

Wedding Invitation Wording With Step-Parents

If your parents split up a long time ago and they have since remarried or met a new partner and your step-parent is a part of hosting the wedding instead of one of your biological parents, there are a couple of ways around this in your wedding invitation wording.

You would use their separate names if they’re not married but if they are your wording should look something like this (the use of his and her is interchangeable depending on whether it’s your father or mother hosting.)

Mr & Mrs Paul Cooper
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of her daughter
Beth Bride
to
Mr Edward Groom
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

Wedding Invitation Wording with a Widowed Parent

Addressing a wedding invitation from a widowed parent can be sensitive. It is traditional to just use the name of the parent who is requesting the company of the guest if they are hosting alone or haven’t remarried.

If they’ve remarried and you’re happy to have both names on your invitations, you’re best to follow the format above. Or if it is from the father and he has not remarried, you’d just use his name. Finally, if it’s the mother that is the surviving parent, and she has not remarried, you’d use her married title like in the example below:

Mrs Beth Smith
requests the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of her daughter
Bella
to
Mr Edward Groom
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2017
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mrs Beth Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

Wedding Invitation Wording with Both Families Included

Perhaps both sets of parents have helped contribute towards the wedding, or you would just like to reference both sets of families on your wedding invitations. This is an increasingly popular way to word your wedding invitations, and you can use the names of both sets of parents.

Mr and Mrs John Smith
&
Mr and Mrs James Jones
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at the marriage of their children
Jennifer Ann
to
Axel Rose
at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 1:30pm
followed by a reception

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mr & Mrs John Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

If you feel like having both sets of parents’ names on there is a bit clunky, you can word it slightly more informally. ‘Together with their parents’ works well if both sets of parents are still together, but if one party is widowed or there are any remarriages involved, ‘Together with their families’ is a nice option that acknowledges everyone.

Together with their families
Miss Jennifer Cooper
&
Mr Jonathan Beckett
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at their marriage

Wedding Invitation Wording for a Same-Sex Marriage

The guidelines are almost exactly the same for same-sex couples, the only difference is which name goes first. Traditionally the name of the bride comes at the top as her parents pay for the wedding, but if there are two brides or two grooms then this rule doesn’t directly apply. If one set of parents are paying for the wedding then etiquette dictates their names will go first, but otherwise, it is your choice how you list your names. Alphabetically might solve any potential issues!

Together with their parents
Mr Jack Andrews
&
Mr Edward Jones
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at their marriage

Wedding Invitation Wording for a Second Marriage

For those planning a second marriage, it’s likely that you’ll be at a different stage in your life and might have quite a different style of wedding in mind.

If your parents aren’t being included on the invitations and you still have your surname from your previous marriage, you might choose to leave off your title (or refer to yourself as ‘Ms’). If the bride doesn’t have a title on the invitation, the groom shouldn’t either:

Betsey May Bride
&
Bert Ernie Groom
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at their marriage

Invitation Wording with Children as Hosts

This is a super sweet idea if you and your partner have children together already, or have children from previous relationships that you want to include on your wedding invitations. Here’s how to word your invitation if the children are from your relationship:

Bella and Jacob Jones
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at their marriage of their parents
Miss Joanne Smith
to
Mr Edward Jones

Wedding Invitation Wording for an Evening Invite Only

Sometimes there just isn’t enough room on the guest list to invite everyone to the day. If you need to invite someone to the evening reception only, make sure you word it clearly so your guests aren’t confused. Here’s a traditionally worded wedding evening invitation to inspire you.

Mr & Mrs John Smith
request the pleasure of
Guest’s Name
at a reception to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Bella
to
Mr Edward Cullen

at The Queen’s Head Hotel, Town, Townshire

on Saturday 15th September 2019
at 7:30pm

R.S.V.P by 30th June to
Mr & Mrs John Smith
12 Street Road
Town
AB1 2CD

Wedding Invitation Wording When Children Aren’t Invited

For couples who want an adult-only celebration, it is worth specifying this on your invitations as some people may assume their children are invited, even if they haven’t been named. You can politely point out your choice on your invitation like so:

Unfortunately, children are not invited – we hope you understand
We have chosen to have a child-free wedding. We hope you are still able to celebrate with us
Our wedding will be a child-free occasion – we hope you can still come and enjoy a night off

Each wedding is unique. The above is intended as a loose guide, but don’t feel like you’re doing it wrong if you want to deviate – it’s your day after all!

Happy Planning!

P.S. If you found this helpful, sign up for my monthly newsletter for more planning advice delivered straight to your inbox and absolutley no spam!

Love is like photography. First, you have to remember to shoot by the rules. Then you have to forget the rules and shoot from your heart.

Tina and Joanne are both keen photographers (more on that later) so no pressure for me to capture their wedding moments then!

They met online through their love of photography and set up their first date at an abandoned building (Tina loves to photograph cool abandoned and forgotten buildings, theme parks, towns, etc). Joanne got cold feet on the way to the date and had it not been for her cousin convincing her to attend this relationship might never have developed.

Joanne is an effervescent pocket rocket of a girl who covers her nerves by talking animatedly. Tina is willowy and reserved, happy to let Joanne steal the show. They are quite simply the perfect match for each other. Joanne said she knew from that first date that she would marry Tina. Fast forward a few years and Joanne had planned a romantic proposal under the Forth Railway Bridge. But…she was too excited to wait and proposed one morning in bed!

The Perfect Location

My brides had picked The Old Manor Hotel in Lundin Links, Leven. They have beautiful rooms for an intimate wedding like theirs or medium or large scale weddings.

An Intimate Ceremony

Tina walked down the aisle first with her mum. I love her reaction as she sees Joanne for the first time.

First look

Joanne’s Dad walked her down the aisle. Joanne’s dress was the very first one she tried on and she accessorised it with her dearly departed gran’s pearl necklace and super cool baby pink Doc Martins.

The ceremony was intimate and tailored perfectly to the couple and soon they were Mrs and Mrs.

The weather gods were smiling

Despite rain that week and on the morning of the big day it was dry after the ceremony so we were able to go outside and get some gorgeous pictures of my beautiful brides.

The Icing on the Cake

Was literally the icing on the wedding cake. It was photography themed. I loved it.

It included an edible film roll with pictures of Tina and Joanne.

Then it was time for Tina and Joanne to enjoy their first meal with their family and wife and wife.

As I drove away from the hotel I was reminded of the song lyrics that were dotted around Tina and Joanne’s house when I visited them for their consultation.

“Freeze, frame, pause, rewind, stop.” Pink

It’s a good reminder to be in the moment and enjoy the now. Something I hope Tina and Joanne do as they start their married life together.

It’s a Family Affair

I have been photographing Rorie, Charlene and John’s son since his Naming Ceremony so I was delighted when Charlene and John booked me to capture their wedding for them. I also captured John’s youngest sisters wedding and his brother-in-law’s mum’s wedding. You could say I’m becoming the family photographer!

Cinderella you shall go to the wedding!

Charlene got ready at the lovely Banner’s House Hotel in Markinch. With her mum and bridesmaid Carissa (who was a total star by the way!).

Her bouquet was full of beautiful roses and summer flowers including my faves peonies. It smelt as gorgeous as it looked and was created by the incredibly talented Wedding Florist. It was a perfect complement to Charlene’s dress with all its intricate lace detail from Innate Bridals in Dundee.

There was something missing though…in all the excitement of getting ready Charlene had forgotten to pack one rather essential item of her outfit. Her wedding shoes. Luckily she had a knight in shining armour in the form of her soon to be brother-in-law Graeme. He dashed off back to her house to pick them up for her. Proving his ‘best man’ credentials!

Aftershock

The ceremony and reception were held at the Gilvenbank Hotel in Glenrothes. It was here I found the rather nervous Groom along with his two best men. His brother and his son Callum. All looking super smart in their kilts from The Kilt Company.

When the bride arrived her Dad, who is normally wheelchair bound, walked her down the aisle. There weren’t many dry eyes left in the room after that.

The celebrant Lorna Finlay conducted Charlene and John’s wedding, having previously been the celebrant at Rorie’s Naming Ceremony (see once this family like you…).

The couple had put their own personal spin on the ceremony including red Aftershock in the quaich! John only managed a few sips before Charlene necked the rest (probably because she was thirsty in all that heat – ahem).

Dinnae think you’re getting this back pal!

Brie Mine

When I’d met with Charlene and John at their consultation their one request was no cheesy pictures (see what I did there!). So I kept their formal pictures nice and natural.

Hurry up the footy has started!

It was also the day that England was playing Sweden for a place in the world cup semi-final and so John was very keen to finish the photos and cheer on Sweden (only I, an English photographer could end up at a Fife wedding on the day of such an important footy match! Still, I had the last laugh when England won. Until they had the last laugh when Croatia knocked us out of the Semis a few days later. Ho Hum).

We had also planned to get some family pictures with Rorie and Calum, especially as Rorie looked so cute in his matching kilt. But he’d been ill the week before and coupled with the extremely hot temperatures the wee fella was a bit overwhelmed by it all. I did still manage to catch a super cute snuggle with his mummy.

Dance the night away

After the speeches and meal, it was time to cut the cake and get their dancing shoes on.

As I left classic 90’s tunes were filling the dance floor and the bar was running dry of red aftershock. The true signs of a good party!