Family stiffs gay waitress on tip

I don’t always tip 20 percent. If you rock (AKA anticipate what we need and bring it before we ask) you may very well receive 25 percent. If you kind of suck, the percentage will be closer to 15. (I don’t subtract the tax before filling out the tip.)

What I’ve never done, though, is base a tip on my personal beliefs or preferences. A family in New Jersey doesn’t operate like that.

The family left no tip for a waitress at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ on a $93.55 bill. The did leave her a note, though, that said: “sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life.”

People are, in general, pissed off, writing things like “As a member of the heterosexual community, I beg your forgiveness for these ignorant people.” That comment from Christopher Godby already received more than 115 likes.

The waitress, who was previously identified only as “Dayna M.,” also commented on the Facebook post writing, “Thanks everyone for your support – it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren’t there it would of been a totally different story).”

Wow. What surprises me is that the thing that gets entirely forgotten is that a tip is ENTIRELY DISCRETIONARY. NO ONE is ENTITLED to a tip. Stop perpetuating the myth that a server is somehow entitled to be given a tip.

The patrons can withhold a tip for any reason they choose, however asinine.

How do you know this is really and truly happened? There was a similar case in Tennessee or somewhere that the waitress, who was African-American, said the dude left a message that said “the N word” The man had death threats, and then he had to hire a handwriting analyst to prove that it was not him or his wife. Of course the waitress received so much sympathy that included a $10,000 donation from someone well meaning for being in the “victims club.” If you think people wont do such terrible things either for sympathy, or for attention, go and google “Mary Beth Tinning” because there is a personality disorder in which people do things to satisfy the need for such emotional support. I think it is called Munchausens. If anyone wants to believe this, they need to consider the old maxim that we kind of hold dear in the country and that is called “innocent until PROVEN guilty.”

How did they know? Did the waitress wear a sign saying “I am gay”? Totally in disagreement with the patrons’ bigoted, jerky behavior, but if someone takes a job serving the general public food, they really have to check their personal opinions and socio-political baggage at the door.

If the story is accurate then the “author” of the note has clearly chosen the wrong factor to base the tip on – imho. However, a couple of questions come to mind. How did they come to know this very personal detail about the waitress? How much service this this waitress give if she had received payment/read the note before the customer received their food (had to refrain from spitting in their food).

Hey, Kristi, check your sources. This whole story is nonsense, much like the “message from a father” (to a gay son) story. In this case, the waitress’s own comment makes this clear. She could not have SPIT in the customer’s food b/c the waitress would not have SEEN the customer’s alleged commentary on the receipt until AFTER their meal (e.g. after it was toooo late to spit in their food). The waitress took a receipt on which she was stiffed (or tipped in cash) and wrote in that nonsense commentary. D’oh. In the future, Kristi, rather than just posting things on the TU website, you could, uhm, howyousay, CALL the restaurant, speak with the manager, and verify/refute the story. Just a suggestion.

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19

What baffles me the most, is this person obviously made this assumption on her looks. Do they realize how many convicted felons work in the service industry. I am willing to bet they have been waited on before by someone who has physically abused someone, raped someone, or killed someone. I am sure the people who wrote these comments must be perfect. Ugh!!!!! Makes me angry. Why do people feel it is their place to do things such as this? Furthermore I am SURE they have been waited on by others who are not heterosexual, and just didn’t realize it.

It’s a customer’s right to tip or not.. for whatever their reasons! If they doubled the tip because of sexual preference no one would have a problem. Why did this waitress feel the need to publicly display her sexual preference when she KNOWS if might offend some? She MUST HAVE made it known or the customer would not have known. She should be fired for forcing her beliefs on others, instead of trying to get people to feel sorry for her!

THIS is exacttly what is wwrong with our society. People, no matter what sex, ethnic background, choice of partners, they’re PEOPLE. Who ever left this as a tip, you are a very sad individual. Its closed minded losers like you that have turn this Country into such a horrible place to live.

And how could they possibly know what her lifestyle is if she’s just delivering food? That woman gave herself permission to be cheap.
If she objected to her lifestyle, why didn’t they get up and leave or ask fir a different server? Probably because in both cases the focus woulh have been on them as bigots and they would never want to admit that.

I personally would not withhold a tip for that reason but if that is how they feel then fine, whatever. The tip is given at the end of the meal so how would she spit in their food like she says she wanted to?

Makes me wonder how the customer figured out the server was gay. Did the waitress say something like, “My girl friend has that entree all the time here so it is probably pretty good”? Or did the customer hit upon the waitress which prompted the waitress to say something like “I have a girl friend”.

1. The receipt clearly shows the date as 11/13 with a time of 7:19 p.m. This means the waitress posted the photo online later Wednesday night. It started gaining notice and attraction on Thursday, and many media outlets had their stories out by Friday, the very same day as this BLOG post (and all that entails) by Kristi.
2. Whether you believe the waitress here, or believe she’ll follow through with the promises she made in subsequent interviews, she – a former Marine – said she will donate some of the unsolicited tips now coming into her to the Wounded Warriors Project, and that employer will donate a matching amount to an LGBT organization.

I’m just wondering HOW this family knew she had a “different” lifestyle. I eat out fairly often and I can honestly say I can’t tell by LOOKING at a server what their sexual preference is nor would I care. So maybe there’s more to this story than is being published. jmo

…so what’s the rest of the story? How did they know he/he was gay? Did he/she show it (as if that’s a good indicator)? Did he/she tell them? Did the family know Dayna (he/she)? Were the family simply miserable, skinflints and made an excuse for not tipping (and happened to guess right. Notice, the note doesn’t mention sexuality but simply lifestyle.)?
There must be a back story here….

People have to realize that everyone cannot or will not accept homosexuality as normal. I think a person should have the right to tip any amount they want to without having fear of violence or any other repercussions inflicted on them. It is strange that the people who write these things have so much tolerance for the public display of homosexuality, and no tolerance for anyone who may have a different point of view. I myself for whatever reason could never support homosexuality as being anything but perverted and degenerate. I don’t hate those are just my beliefs and values that I should be able to express without all the hate messages coming.

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