nothing in here is true

Sunday, January 10, 2016

ramie is a beautiful woman who loves mcdonalds nearly as much as i do. tonight i was all i hear they have a new thing going on over there. she said what, i said i dont know thats why i wanna go and find out.

i thought i heard they had this thing where you could get two small things for $2 and it turned out to be true.

you could get small fries, a chicken sandwich, a mcdouble, or three mozzarella sticks.

mozzarella sticks?!?!

indeed. so i was all fuckit i want like those, some fries, a mcchicken and some mcnuggets

the sticks were fine, but petite. sorta not worth it even for a buck. maybe if you have a kid.

and the weird thing is they dont have any options to get any larger size. like id pay $5 to get 20 of them. brotha needs 20. they also have to figure out how to make them stringier. the marinara sauce was fine, but any time im sitting down at a mcdonalds – which is rare – and i ordered something dippable, i’ll ask for hot mustard.

hot mustard is something no other mcdonalds has. they should exploit that.

they should introduce a new character

something sexy, and yellow, and spicy and delicious that adds a punch whatever it’s spread on.

and drove out into the streets of silver lake

to fight crime.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

i am in the best mood tonight.
who knows why.
on paper it shouldnt be this way.
i had a pretty sad and intense phone call with a lovely lady last night.
a little bit heartbreaking if i can be honest with you.
and then for the last few days ive been without a car.
in LA.
which is omg.
good thing this is the busblog.
now the car is faster than ever.
now the mc rib is back
for a limited time.
after the car was picked up a mc rib found its way in me.
it was the craziest thing.
i was gonna go there Anyway.
and at exactly the same time that i saw it in the featured spot
the voice on the squawk box said welcome to mcdonalds
would you like to try a mcrib today?
I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO TRY A MCRIB TODAY!
when i got to window number one she was all that’ll be $5.09.
and i said I love McRibs.
and she said, I love McRibs too.
shoulda married her right then.
shoulda totally officer and gentlemanned her
picked her up in my arms, her in her uniform.
my car still in the drive thru backing up hella traffic.
mcribs on her lap.
her arms around me.
me carrying her out of the kitchen and into the dining room
of our future.
but no.
instead i just took my bag of food
drove into a nearby parking space.
applied a generous amount of hand sanitizer to my dirty paws
and squeezed out the ketchup onto the small stack of napkins
ate some fries
and then bit into the first mcrib of the season.
diabetes cures all wounds.