I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can’t-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. “Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don’t I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!” I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. “How many Indians could there be?” said by General Custer. “Looks like a good day for a drive!” by JFK. “There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!” by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn’t just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

This is the funniest shit (no pun intended) i’ve ever read. I once shaved my ass crack and showered afterward only to scream out in pain FUCK! MOMMY! My wife came running into the bathroom startled only to see me in the bath tub holding my man cheeks apart with severe razor burn. She was laughing so hard snot came out of her nose. IT’S NOT FUNNY! I yelled. Which made her laugh even harder. I’ll never do that again.

I regularly shave my ass hair and don’t let it grow because it feels so good not to have. i don’t feel unconformable and it never itched.
If I continue with cutting them before they completely grow (like 2 in 2 days), will it always be this good or there’s a big chance of problems?

Haha dude I laughed so hard I started to get hick-ups ;) You know.. the first time I shaved mah pubes, I used a generic electric razor thing, after which I went to my internship, a whole day of standing up in front of 11-16 year olds.. And God!!! did it hurt!!! it felt like I used a lawn mower and used itching powder as after shave.. so I can relate ;)

Well, it was seconds after eliminating my ass hair that i was like hmmm… this was a terrible idea. I decided to research this topic to see how my forefathers and pioneers of this this art handled it. It was soon after i stumbled upon this article. The terror swept over me. What will i do? this will take weeks. The first to days were bad. the cheeks sliding… terrible feeling. I was noticing that the article may be true. whats next? i asked myself. Well… I have good news if u are in the same predicament i am. Do not panic. It quickly got better and i even can say i quite enjoyed my new ass! maybe even try it again some time… Nah. Maybe not but it Really does get better. and there is so smell that comes out. unless u dont shower maybe. If ur paniking as i was… hope this makes u feel better.

My asshair are so long that I sometimes trip over them when they get caught under my feet.
I have the longest asshair in the village.
Even the local pandit was amazed.
I love my asshair, do you love yours?

do you think it forms a duck ? ; lmao . thats kinda of wierd i just watched Paranormal Activity not to long ago and the guys name was Micah and he gets killed ) : . that sucks ass for youu my friend lol . ; nahh i am joking buhh its true what happens .
soo your demonic girlfriend is your electric razor ? .

Wow. Guess What. I’ve been contemplating shaving my ass hairs, the abundance of hair in my ass crack resembles the hair of a shaggy dog. My ass sweats because of my hair. i get up during class and my ass is wet. i shaved my asshole, 3x a week. i enjoy the outcome, for it feels rather good to scratch my itchy ass. it reminds me of childhood memories. the sensation of scratching that ass itch is so great and appreciated. thank you ass hair.

I wish i was asian.. i hate being black..If i was asian i would have nice long flowy straight asian hair and it would be easier to get asian girls since most of them only date their own race. and i have a hairy ass >.> its so embarassing and it drives me off the wall FML…

I trim my pubes and balls with scissors on average every 3 to 4 days and yesterday i decided to trim my ass hairs. Im 15 so they werent like going up to my buttcrack, just around my asshole. Afterwards i took a shower and i found it very easy to clean my ass. Im not gonna shave it, just gonna trim it every week or so. Also, im not gay at all. I only like pussy. I just like to feel clean and have good hygiene. Also the fucking hairs around the asshole smells like shit and it is not clean. Where i live is not hot and, its almost always fresh and cool.

well now you guys , this kinda scares me like i don’t know what really to say lol . ; buh i am going to take your advice and not shave even though my ass looks like a forest . hahaha i guess my women is going to have to get over it well i feel kinda bad for her cause when we do it she tells me it tickles her . well i guess i can trim but that is going to take me hours so wish me LUCK !

ROFL I can not stop laughing ahahahahahah . I have ass hair and it goes to my crack but it’s not even that bad I’m embarassed to one day be getting really hot with my gf and have her grab my ass and rip them out and laugh at me. I should just kill myself. Spare one, save a million, you know?

my butt hairs are so long i have to use my fiances’ brush to comb them. also, she gets food stuck in her teeth often. with the help of my ass hairs, she just munches down there for a few moments and my hairs floss the food away! it works great because the food gets stuck in the hairs and i can pick the food out and if im hungry, nibble a bit! my butt hairs have been so long before that when i sit down to poopy, my hairs get wet from the toilet water…

I am an 18 year old guy who has a hairy ass like many of you and i cant stand it. its gross, its embaressing and i cant talk to anyone about it except my mother or father..if i shave it off it itches like hell..if i wax it it sweaty and nasty like others say..it seems the only solution is to trim it down to a tolerable length…not so short that its itchy and annoying and not so bald that its sweaty and smelly..just mid way apparently..but after all reading all these ass hair forums you gotta admit its pretty funny reading them..just saying the words ass hair is pretty funny to me lmfao..

its so funny reading about people complaining about having a hairy asshole and shaving their ass hairs.everytime i read the words ass hair, shaving, hairy asswhole i start dieing of laughing lols..unfortunatly im one of the poeple with hair asses and even thighs..i swear if i ever decide to use nair cream or somthing im using it on my ass and all the way on my thighs.. my asshair is so long that when i sit back and slouch in a chair the hairs pull from my skin and it hurts like fuck. Guys dont listen to people who say to leave it alone because as much as they say some girls find it attractive,they are wrong,and i for one dont want my future girlfreind to see my ass. honestly why do we have to have hairs on our ass..isnt that a stupid place to grow hair? god..sometimes i wish i was a girl lol..

I have been shaving my ass hair since I was 14 and now I am 22 and I never had such problem.
You are facing it because you simply can’t keep yourself clean and you depend on your ass hair to kill the stench for you. SMH!

yeaaah i dont think those would happen if you kept yourself relatively clean, but ima pass on the process i was contemplating. ass shaving. its there, its not gonna stop growing if you shave it. plus the stubble sounds like trouble.
this was absolutely disgusting by the way….and pretty damn funny

This must’ve been the funniest article I’ve ever read hands down. I got hiccups halfway through and tears by the end of it. Genius and …just plain gross.
Informative and abundantly humorous. I might as well have just been dead. I laughed so hard I was out of breath and my lungs hurt. This was great!

I’ve tried it both ways (to shave and to not shave) and I haven’t found a solution yet to this problem. The Balla Powder that I buy doesn’t seem to work (the same with the 4 or so other powders i’ve tried). The problem i’m having too with this (to take it a step further) is that i’ve actually ripped so many hairs out at one time (from wiping) that I bleed every once in a while from skin coming off too. Then it hurts and bleeds for a week or two every time I take a dump. All I know is, some company could make a fortune off of creating a product that actually solves this issue (whether it be a specific shampoo/conditioner for your ass hair or some sort of man-thong that you wear after shaving your ass).

I think if you do it once a month you’ll get used to it! plus, I believe all what is causing this “smelly” problems is cleaning with paper!!! I mean, if you accidentally touched something not clean what is the first thing you’ll do? you’ll wash your hands right?!! then why they f*** washing our asses is not the logical thing to do?! especially that the ass is where the shit come from! :s

Lmao… this is hilarious. And yeah i shaved my ass once before it wasnt very pleasent at first. But got better… although i wouldent do it again… its anoying as holy hell. And the first week is indeed torchure. For the guy who said removal cream. You probably were using a shitty product. Revitol has a really good removal cream that moisturizes while removing the hair. Its actually designed specificly for sensitive areas such as bikini sections. I’m gonna pick it up today and try it. Also Revitol just made a FDA approved SAFE laser that you can use. That you use every 2 weeks and it gradually kills the roots till eventually your hair grows back fewer till none. Some sick stuff. But I’ll just use the cream for now. Lol.. funny story though made me laugh so hard I almost slapped my screen off my table.

LMFAO…u just had hairs between ur crak n balls..i have hairs even on back of crack..but who cares unless ur gay :p
i thought of shaving them but shave wud make em come back again stronger so not a feasible idea perhaps ;)
im asian,so v do get hairy ;)…its nature u fight with it,ur on the loss

Hey bud! That was an entertaining read. I would like to make a suggestion. Regarding the fecal matter getting stuck in your hair (hence the reason you shaved in the first place) have you considered just washing after every sit-down session. I’m serious. Many people of asian/mid-east cultures do it. It works very well. I know it seems nasty to many at first, washing yourself, using your hand to get it all of while pouring water in that area while your sitting.

My ex used to think I was weird at first when she saw me always carrying an empty water bottle to the the public restroom until she started doing it herself. It’s disgusting that people have fecal stains on their underwear. When I first noticed this, i thought whats wrong with these people? Do they not wash? That’s exactly it! North Americans wipe. It’s so much more hygienic to wash. Serious, don’t laugh or exclaim ewww! It’s so much better. Wash your hands thoroughly after. Good Luck Bud!

lol get the shaving cream called nivea for men.. its a nair product.. lol put that on ur ass.. but dont rub it in.. or get it to to close to your hole.. or it will burn like hell.. lol i also use a water proof razor to my pubes.. never had any problem with the combination… makes it clean and prefect… cheers

LOL omg this shit cracked me up. I love the way u describe everything like wow..i’m a girl and i have alot of ass hair too…it makes me itch sometimes and i just want to cut it off but after reading this nm..hahaha

Wow, that is pathetic. A real man doesn’t shave unless it is his head hair(don’t want to be having long hair like a girl).
Anyway, sex last night was great!!!!!!!!
I came inside my girl 12 times and she came 14 times.
I can’t wait to do that again. It is exhausting and rare for us to cum that much.

Yeah thanks for that bit of info, presumably false. LMFAO i feel sorry sorry for her, you must have a jungle down there mate. TRIM your freakin pubes! Oh wait.. I no longer feel sorry for her.. her jungle and your jungle, must make for an interesting night of getting lost in the woods. :S

I’m 16 and I have really long ass hair; it drives me insanse. My girlfriend slipped out of my appartment window, to save her I had to pull down my underwear and whip out my ass hair so she could grab hold of my long ass hair to pull herself up. It was painful but lucky she managed to get herself up. What really pisses me off is when I go do a poopy, the poop sometimes gets stuck in my ass hair and doesn’t reach the toilet water. So I have to use my hand to squeeze the poop out, just like milking a cow but doing it with my long ass hair. I sometimes even forget to wash my hands after doing that, so when I meet new people they don’t want to shake my hand they just give me a really dirty look -.-
I HATE MY ASSHOLE HAIR!

OMG im not going to shave my ass i usually trim but im not going to shave i just like my body to feel clean i trim the hair on my balls too because when i sweat it feels terrible btw im bi and happy about it

I do it all the time and that has never happened to me. I do my after care routine the same way I shave the hair “down there” in the front. Soak it in warm water for 5-10 minutes, rub with conditioner (hair conditioner obviously), soak another 5 minutes, then use a generous amount of shaving cream and a fresh clean brand new blade. Shave with the grain of the hair (obviously you can’t see in your butt so just shave one direction.
Then soak another 5 minutes, then rub with a lotion or moisturizer and this is what I like to use that no one else mentioned. Baby powder isn’t just for babies. It’s used to prevent diaper rash which is basically chafing so I use that every morning to prevent it from itching and it works. Also clean so yeah, when I do all that, the story you told never happens to me.

I have shaved my ass many times, and have never had any problems whatsoever. I don’t fart much, and when I do, I fart in the can (Toilet) where it’s not so embarassing to do it, and it feels smooth. The ass hair itches something fierce and wreaks when it’s hot. Not to mention it gets tangled and snagged, so I always shave, and have never had any problems. When stubs start to grow, it’s a sign telling me time to shave again, and it’s no problem. I hate having a hairy ass, not because it’s ugly, but because it’s uncomfortable, and itches.

Also the story is extremely funny. I guess some people have problems with shaving their ass, some are lucky like me and have no problems, it depends.

OKAY : awesome tale really good fun but my story and my problem with shaving my Gorrila Arse – When i Do Shave it before i go have sex with random whores i end up Cutting myself in all the most sensitive area’s (which you can imagine when your’e anus is bleeding it is extremely alarming!)Sometimes i get so mad i want to commit suicide .. but i have found the solution.. Shave the crack area and under the Bum cheeks easily With Hair Condition to Make it SILKY SMOOTH >:) and the hole Let it grow there Brother like a ring of Fiiiyaaaa! any way People aaah i got shit in my arse hair its NAMED DINGLE BERRY :> been around for ages and the traditional way it to break them off by the hair YOur’e Berry Off Sh it that is ofcourse and uhm fling it at your’e friends / partner for a good time.. and if you think your’e life sucks since you are hairy bum man dude.. i have hair on my arse IN my Arse On my Face like a bear and the best of all i can hang things off of my back hair which looks like A wolfs spikes on its spine i’m like fucking wolverine :< so to you little hairy people out there.. feeling sad cheer up i got it worse :<

I have 1.3 meters of hairy asshole hair. I often use it to navigate myself across Urban streets. The hair often spurts out old moldy poo as a special move. It flows through the hair attacking the enemy i have. I often go to sleep and wake up to see many bicycles and small children have been caught in the hair so i have to wash them out. My house is full of turd all over the walls and i’m 69 years old. I have 30 kids that have been stuck in my anal hair and 3000 bicycles, sprinklers, fire hygants, a few fire trucks and many other objects. It is time for us to act now. Get the anal hair out of your eyes otherwise it may hurt you and use it to attack the shaddow lord. He has 3000million square miles of Pubes and a dick that would knock you out cold in .3 of a second. We need not to shave but to become a huge leage of anal hair super power sqaud.
Let as rejoice. Let us fart and fucking burn the shit out of peoples eyes with the disgusting shit that we have produced and got stuck in the bush of anal hair. LET US REJOICE TO THE MOON. MY ASS IS HAIRIER THEN YOURS

Shaved mine two nights ago. It’s been itching but not constantly. The itching didn’t start until the middle of the second day, so i’m pretty sure it’s stubs growing back. I’m thinking about shaving it down again, as I do prefer my ass to be smooth like this and honestly it looks a lot cleaner. From what I’ve heard itching stops after a couple shaves so I’m willing to stick with it – and honestly it’s just a matter of who’s ass we’re talking about here.

I have to say it does sound like you’re probably fat… i’ve experienced SOME of what you’re talking about but not to the same extent. If you have a fat ass of course “mystery slime” is going to build up after your cheeks slide against eachother long enough. That slime is most likely what we call booty sweat. I can shave my ass, and so can a bunch of other guys, without half the hassle you explained here so it’s not like you CAN’T do it.

It’s possible you could have solved some of these problems with baby powder. When you have a toddler or infant and you change their diaper, sometimes you’ll use baby powder do avoid a rash on the anal from all the moisture after you wipe them. This problem goes away as we get older due to the friction and absorbing through the hair but if you shave it goes away. I suppose the problem here could be you might smell like a baby but if you use enough deodorant and body spray it will cancel out a lot of that baby powder smell.

I guess the problem for me was mostly that when the hair started to grow back it would poke through my skin on my behind and would cause a very uncomfortable prickling feeling but that went away after a week or so.

Another suggestion could be taking a shower after a bowel movement and cleaning out the area.

im a girl, and, of course, i have hair around my asshole too (not up my asscrack though, thank god)
am im insecure about it, and if i were to fuck a guy, id be scared he’d comment on it or some shit,,
so, do guys really care about that kinda shit? like, would it matter to a guy that i have a hairy ass?
cause i am scared as fuck of waxing down there, and obviously shaving isn’t a good idea either, haha

Personaly i think that we dont care to see a girl with a hairy but, the thing is we the guys are scared bout when we are making love with the girl, and then the girls pases her hands in the dude’s ass and she starts freaking out and stops the making love process. My girlfriend saise she doesn’t care about it but I do, she tells me she loves it but then I became red, because I want her to feel it softly like a baby but :)
-but the question goes to you girls. Do you mind a hairy but, a trim but or a shaved one?

you idiots! this doe’s not happen i do this all this time and i have never had any of these problems! and the part were the sweat mixed with this guys shit, seriously? what do you shit yourself like every 5 secounds? if your a big fat guy then i would not advise it becouse you gota have the body for it, and big fat guys always smell like sweet so it ya,…. you do this math, from the looks of it, the person who made this story was a big fat guy who shits himself everytime he walks….. but i in a matter of fact, am not a big fat guy,…. and none of this ballocks ever happens to me.. not to mention i’m sure this guy is just trolling…

I did this once before to my pubes so i know how you feel, its like you can feel the hair sprouting out of your skin and for the anal area it must scratch the hell out of your asscheecks while growing. Thanks man but il just have live with the ass hair.

4 the advice i am 13 yrs old and my boy friend is a cow cos he made a bloody comment 2 his friends about me and i got so confused that i didnt know what 2 do and my mum said that she would kick me out the house if i shaved and i just didnt know if it was normal or not

If you people really want to get rid of your ass hair then go get an apointment to get it lazered off lazering is amazing it gets rid of all the hair and for an extremly long period of time if not for ever!!!

Rofl, were you studying to be a writer? That is some descriptive and creative depicting! But in all seriousness I tried to shave the hair between my legs and under my sack. DO NOT it is the itchiness and annoyance that cannot be paralled. I also tried my pubes and Now thinking about it, id rather keep it tamed than naked lol. Hair is manly. Just trim and keep it clean/ tidy. TBH when I think of bald pubes and ass I think of some steroid pumping porn guy

Bahaha just shave it girls would feel better about a soft ass that has a slim chance of havin stank. She’ll run with the sight of hair and a mad stink fuming from your crack. It’s better hugene in my eyes and more appealing to the ladies.

i loled so hard on that one,i cant imagine what a pain in the ass it was for you(LOL!).but yeah,i dont shave my hair cuz i was afraid of something even worse happening,so i just cut the part where my hole is with scizzors or something-problem solved,no crappy shitting and no sweating and i fart however i want,since ive mastered the art of fart(that rhymes lol),and i can control what will my fart be like(im a very disgusting person,i know)…oh,and i cut the between-cheeks-part every 2,5-3 weeks while listening to some trash metal,so its not a pain in the ass for me to do it,and i can headbang to something while doing it too!:DDD

Um? I shave my ass all the time, and that has never happened to me. The only way I can see this happening if your morbidly obese and can barely make it up two flights of stairs without getting swamp-ass. My comment to anyone else who reads this shave your ass hair it’s worth it unless your a few hundred pounds over weight like this guy seems to be.

I found that disgusting and not humorous at all. I expect my boyfriend’s balls and the base of his shaft to be shaved. And if I ever end up venturing near his ass, I would like that shaved, too. Don’t expect us to do things for you that you won’t do for yourself.

i started shaving my pussy but then starting waxing because it hurts shaving but dont get me wrong it is hard to look down at your ass unless your flexable like… i want to wax but i got a feeling it will be very painful like it is when i wax my pussy

Unfortunatly I did almost the same, just 10 minutes ago. I didn’t shave my butt hair but I cut it with scissors and now I regret it. I have school tomorrow and now my ass itches like hell every step. Idfk how I will manage tomorrow. I wish I would of read this before I did. My life is over

Start a fire outside and get a long box (about 5×2) and put one end in the fire. The box will be filled with flames and you have your dumb ass friend lift the one side of the box. That’s when you stick your ass in the flames shooting out. Stand there as long as you can and it will burn your ass hair off :) worked out for me and I thought it was fun lol

Well I looked it up because I didnt feel like doin dat awkward stance I had to yhe first time which was on leg up on the counter head down in between my legs so I cn c in the mirror nd make sure I dnt cut myself… But personally I shaved my butt hair the first time at 18 bcuz I was planning losing my virginity nd honestly I didnt think ppl liked ta deal wit hair… I mean I hate hair newhere other than my head sooo I thought everyone else felt the same lol… Neways my point is I didnt have ne problems I got in the shower right after nd treated it as if it were my armpitts or punani… It was perfectly fine didnt experience anything of what ive read on this site… But then again I guess it matters how clean yu r too huh iono but ima try da trimming thing

lol this is some funny shit, i guess u have some kind of sweat problems… ive been shaving my ass for a long time now, yes im a straight guy. if i was growing my ass hair it would itch my asshole. i have no problems sweating after shaving… so it really depends on the persons heigene. ass hair is gross. they bank up the left over shit after pooping , it will stink up ur ass. when u shave ur ass there will be open pores since u are not only getting rid of hairs, ur also getting rid of dead skin. once ur asscheeks rub each other those open pores will be swollen then some sweat and wet shit come out and ur fucked… i suggest after shaving ur ass put some petrollum jelly on.

This is only vaguely similar I suppose, but I’ve had a pretty horrendous experience when it comes to shaving the hair from my butt crack as well. Started out much the same, the idea was to clear the space up for less uh, maintenance & mess after bathroom breaks. Little did I know it would have unintended and very drastic side effects.

Sometime after having shaved, I developed an ingrown hair deep inside my crack which I had no success at removing, despite several attempts that were usually messy and painful as well as unsuccessful. Eventually it swelled up to a pretty scary size and i started feeling distinctly unwell in general, nausea, headaches, blurry vision sometimes. On the morning I had scheduled a doctors appointment to deal with it, I slipped in the shower and came down HARD on my rear end, causing the cyst to burst inside me resulting in (I found out later) a nasty case of septisemia, or blood poisoning. i was in hospital for the better part of a fornight and ever since I wont go anywhere near this region with a razor or trimmer of any kind! Beware all ye who seek to enter here (with cutting implements)!

i also had a problem with this my asshole hairs were long they reached down to the floor so i trimmed them and rolled them up in a ball and bleached them and i told my family it was floss and now my family has a unlimited supply of floss and they dont know were it comes from i save a lot of money by doing this you should too i also use the dingle berries as christmas ornemnts :) asshole hairs save a lpt of money !

you didn’t shave properly if that happened. you need to have shave gel and rinse out the razor with every couple of strokes in a bowl of hot water. also i think you may need to shower if you actually have shit up there. jeez, clean it man!

Um I am 12. And I just started noticing a half or more of an inch of hair around my ass hole. Plz reply to this seriously and I am nervous to ask my parents to get me my own razor for my pubs. Scared of laughter from sisters too actually. Plz reply to this I need some help.

Don’t be stupid, a lot of people, like me, don’t have ass hair but nothing of what you wrote ever happened to me. My boyfriend wax his ass and he has no problems too. It’s probably different from person to person.

One of the funniest things I ever read in my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!! I dono if I should shave it (after reading this I don’t thnk so) but my ass hair is so long no joke I swear there can make the next Indiana Jones in there!!!!! H.L.O.L.W.R.O.T.F.L.M.F.A.O.C.M.H.A.P.M.P™ (Historically Laughing Out Loud While Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Fuckin Ass Off Clapping My Hands And Pissing My Pants!!!!)

i just shaved my ass for the first time like 3 days ago
WORST MISTAKE EVER
my ass sweats 24/7, it leaves a sweat mark on my pants.. makes it look like i shit myself, except watery diarrhea shit
BUT THE WORST HAS YET COME
it doesnt itch yet, i know when my hair starts coming back in, im gunna have to itch the shit out of my ass, Literally

Why not just shave one cheek? I tried to shave my left cheek, then to my horror, it started BLEEDING. I chickened out of my right cheek, I mean if my dominant hand does that, I don’t even want to KNOW about my left.

I shave mine im gay but when my boyfreind does me up the butt it kinda off hurts cause the hair gets in the way now i can have some fun butt sex with my boyfreind with out getting hurt. Because hes shaves it for me what a nice boyfreind.

DO NOT NAIR UR ASS HAIRS! Especially around the hole. Seriously, it’s not pleasant, lotsa sweat, lotsa rashes, lotsa bumps, lotsa chafing, It was the most horrible thing I have ever done. I was miserable for a week, and itching for a month. Never Again, NEVER!

On a side note, I decided to let my girlfriend trim my pubes, once (notice the once), cuz she’s weird like that. Don’t ever trust them, they WILL a find a way to sneak the razor and take away a line or two of ur pubes, straight to the flesh. And if they do that, do not decide to just let them do it all the way around to even it up. ITCH ITCH ITCH! Of course, that’s unless you plan to keep it clean after they’ve screwed you over.

White people are so disgusting..you wouldnt have issues like this with shaving it if you CLEANED YOUR ASS WITH WATER. It may sound like a foreign conept but i guarantee you will no longer have shit stains, itchy butts etc. Bidet, or some kind of bottle that can squirt water is what you should use.
-credits to the Arabs

Okay guys, I’m arab, Ass hair fucking sucks, since I was fourteen I reached like ass hair overload. It blows, I’m a wolf, always thought about taking the razor of buzzer to my ass, but how do you even know if you did a good job and like, who wants to put anything that close to their poor little ass hole, fuck it, chicks better get used to my hair ass, but I find my balls so hard to trim. I was born with like, something that basically is like extra skin on my dick and balls and they did surgery now it’s just some extra stretchy ball sack and the skin on my dick is kinda stretchy, it’s so hard to shave. my life blows.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! LMFAO!!!!! I can’t stop! laughing at this post! it does suck some of u have 2 go thru this but stil AHAHAHAHAHA! the post itself is 2 funny…ass hairs XD. Personally, i dont find it that annoying and no need 2 rid of it all! XD

I shaved my ass for the first time witha regular disposable razor. Immediately regretted it. It hurt so bad I became light headed and passed out. After several agonizing weeks, it grew back. Used an electric razor with a number two (1 & 1/2 preferably) and it worked out great. So liberating and much easier to clean and relieves a lot of the itching; for me any way. Great article by the way. But I’m still wondering why the hair came to be there in the first place. On your junk, understandable. Wouldn’t want your dick freezing off. But your crack?! Why?

After reading this story and rolling around with dags of laughter I reflected on an experience to remember only just last week… Now normally I am a girl of routine when it comes to number twos… It’s definitely my prefrence to shit then show due to ass crack stench lingering throughout the day….however this day unplanned and outside my routine the 2nd number 2 came from the depths of my stomach… To my dismay…i quickly found some hand sanitizer gel in my bag thinking a perfect idea at the time… I put some on the toilet paper and found my asshole burning x 10 fold minty fresh! There was a thought to quickly run to the basin and wash it off although the fear of being sprung in a college bathroom prevented that… So I spat on the toilet paper so many times using a full roll n then some where I was able to walk away with a crisp clean fresh ass for the next class….

I can’t believe that you people don’t have showers near your toilets to clean and you just wipe with a tissue that is very disgusting and unhygienic. we have those in all Arab countries I think it will be suffering if an arabian decided to go to america or europe or something

Wow, this is astonishing. The first few times may be bad but it’s well worth it. Two months later you’ll be so much happier having smoother, less gross, less poop-tangles and less smell with no or very little ass-hair.

Shave it or wax it-it makes like more beautiful.

PS-you really ought to wash your bum everyday with soap, and everytime after you take dump.

[…] Well, I have some sHoCkInG news! Both ladies and gentlemen have butt hair!! But, hereâ€™s the kicker, not everyone has it because itâ€™s genetic. o.O So, fuck you in our dirty hemorrhoid-ridden assholes mom and dad for passing on this embarrassing ass-hair to me! Iâ€™ve spent over 30 years embarrassed and ashamed of my frequently shaved butt crack for no good gorram reason! I like the save, but this poor guy has a hilarious TMI No-Shave PSA. […]

Mitt Romney shaves his ass daily and his compaign handlers actually went public with that information and encouraged other campagian workers to tell voters that because , as they said, it makes the case that Romney was an extremely detail oriented person. Hmmmm?

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??
I KNOW THIS SHIT TALKS ABOUT SHAVING AS CRACKS,BUT WE DONT HAVE TO SAY ALL THIS SHIT!!!! LIKE IM FUCKING EATING RIGHT NOW AND I LITTERALLY THREW UP AND THE SHIT I SAW. AND NO DUMBASSES COME TO ME RIGHT NOW AND SAY “WHY DID YOU KEEP READING IT,MORON”!!!! I READ THE ARTICLE FOR MY OWN PERSONAL BUISNESS,UNLIKE YOU PEOPLE I DONT HAVE TO SHAVE MY ASS,I WAS BORN CLEAN,AND I WILL STAY CLEAN,IT’S BECAUSE YOU GUYS SHAVE THAT YOU HAIRS GROW FASTER AND LONGER. LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU MORONS??

Shaving is only awful the first few times. Brand new razor (I use cheap disposables, but always brand new. Never shave dry. After, moisturize with something gentle like non-kinky massage oil. Your cheeks only rub like that if your overweight, or have some junk in the trunk. And for goddess’ sake, cotton undies. For the rest of it? Depilatories, or wax, depending on gender and preference.

I shave my ass all the time i use conditioner in the shower and like all hair if you do this you just need to understand that hair grows back its something you have too do all the time. And dude your problem is YOU just need too wipe your ass better!

no, no, no. you got it all wrong. Shit sticking inside the ass with hairs is more unpleasant. Girls naturally dont have anal hair so your experience is not going to be considered. Try washing your anus with water so shit/sweat dont mix. There would be sweat only. and you might be the only one to sweat badly inside the anus. I also shave my ass and no problems at all kid.

I’m fifteen… and a girl. I’ve only shaved down there a couple of times. This is mostly because I don’t have a nice quality razor, and I hate the itchy feeling down there when it’s growing back. Usually I just trim everything with scissors and keep it groomed it whatever. It doesn’t feel to awesome whenever I’m really wet to have all those juices being her by my pubic hair. So. I noticed once while I was messing with myself down there that I’ve got hairs growing near my asshole. I dunno what to do about it, besides trim it. Agh. I feel really awkward.

A question to throw out there. Do most guys like it shaved when they’re eating, or is it okay if it’s just trimmed?

Hahahahahaha, that was hilarious! Seriously, funniest thing I’ve seen in a while actually – so glad I stumbled upon this! You have a talent my friend, had to hold in some screeches of laughter as to not wake everyone in my house!

It’s, umm, say 2:46 in the morning and I woke my parents up laughing at this stupid shit. I shaved my asscrack one time and I will never do it again, turns out my boyfriend loves my hairy ass. He likes to like the shit that’s stuck in it, out. Jk. Nah, I prefer trimmed, never shaven, razor burns and shit. Yuck. I hate the effects of shaving so I trim. He hates the effects of shaving too so yeah.

This was…well…absolutely hilarious!! I’m a lady who sadly has always had tons of….well…um…ass hair. :-( I also tried the shaving routine with the same results…ITCHING and PAIN. I’ve been married for ages, and my hubby never says anything as I wash regularly. Still….it’s a royal pain to wipe. I also keep vinegar in the bathroom and rinse with a FULL glass of vinegar and water and wash the area. When I tried to just trim that nasty area, I ended up cutting myself with the scissors. :-( Well, that cut took forever to heal. WOE IS ME! But these comments made my day, and I will admit I’m still laughing!! At least I know I’m not the only one!! ROFLMAO!

I know this Forum is old, so sorry for the late comment. I’m 19 and I started shaving at 18. I use hair removal cream to insure regrowth is finer and smoother.I don’t have the itch problem bc of that. I would imagine a cheap razer would irritate the skin “which is highly sensitive in that area”.When it comes to sweat, I was born with a genetic mutation which was given to me from my mother.I don’t sweat bc of it. :) Although, I would assume just like babys use baby powder, that would be a option for the people who sweat a lot.

Wow. In hopes of having sex with my boyfriend, I was contemplating shaving down there. It sounds worse than when us guys shave the hair round our dick. Thank you for saving me from that unimaginable torture.

Brother, hear me. You need better hygienic habits. The problem wasn’t with shaving. Shaving is fine. It’s with your asshole. You need to keep it clean. Scrub it in the shower, and wipe thoroughly when you stool it up. If you’d washed your ass on a regular basis, your crack hair would not have been getting in the way of your excrement. If you’d kept it clean after shaving, then the smell would not have been so eye-watering awful. Also, wear underwear that lets your poor fat ass breathe, save that cotton stuff for winter. A shaved asshole is not an unhealthy asshole. A dirty asshole is. Wash your ass, brother. Wash it.

You just have to shave more! The first time is always hell. Your skin wasnt used to the razor. Sure it gets sweaty but thats a part of life. But you shitting problem is something that you might want to talk to your doctor about. I havebeen shaving my ass for avout a year now and i love it. I play a sport at school and none of us guys have any hair. 100% shaved. Well except our legs and head. But we do get rid of upper leg hair. But if you keep shaving it will feel better in time

Dead god do not trim your ass with electric trimmers!!!! It takes away the sweaty cheeks part, and goes straight to the stubbles prickling you in the ass!!!!! I can barely walk!! I did this like 10 minutes ago and it is horrible!!!!! DON’T FREAKING DO IT!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!!

Oh lord yall… ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ As a woman– we sort of HAVE to do this, and not one of those things has happened to me. It might just be guys?? Idk but I’m laughing my ass off… A lost gerbil?!?! ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚

Man….I’ve been there, especially with the ventilation thing :)) (this should be a story for stand up) but i discovered that the electric trimmer much better when it comes to itchiness…but its still gets funny farts :))

Two words: baby powder. There’s a very specific list of reasons we puff that magical powder on a baby’s bottom after changing it(s diaper. It will absorb sweat, reduce fristion and prevent chafing/itch. Your story kinda blew my mind, I’d been taught to use baby powder on my ass by my dad to keep (and pardon my anatomical references) my ball sweat and ass chafing under control. I trim my ads hair, to prevent “grogons” and my girlfriend from having ptsd should she ever had had to see the thick forest that naturally grows there. Your experience in not being able to shit or fart correctly have absolutely nothing to do with shaving and/or trimming astound the brown eye, I assure you. Even if you never shave again, use the baby powder, and for God’s sake, if you want to get laid or get head or be slightly hygienic (fecal matter hanging out in hair is 1.smelly and a huge turn off to women 2. Not exactly good for, as it could lead to an absess ogle infection, which is much worse than ads sweat, which baby powder prevents) you got to trim that gnarly hair between your taint and chocolate starfish. After you use the baby powder and have a woman not dry heave in disgust at your poop stench, you can send me your thanks. Like I said, I just trim, not shave, because of the awkwardness of ass stubble, but all of the things you went on about with sweat, baby powder cures. And the darting thing…dude…if you shaved and you still somehow had shit caked on your cheeks, Dr Finn here is going toprescribe a better whoping technique, use wet ones, or at least do a double check of whiping to ensure the last piece of toilet paper is clean. There’s no reason for you to have shit all over you crack, hair or no hair.

Pardon all my spelling mistakes. The point is, dude trim that shit, wipe completely, preferably with a wet wipe to make sure you never have any fecal matter in or around your crack and use some baby powder to prevent ball and ass sweat from ruining your life. Or any poor girl who goes down on you’s life. Oh, and don’t do that fan ass thing again. That made me dry heave, no reason your ass should ever smell that ripe or have shit somehow caked on it.

Who knew a covo about ass hair could last this long. lol It doesn’t hurt or ich if you do it right. 1 make sure you are in the shower and lather your ass hole good with shampoo. 2 don’t use a fucking cheap raiser. 3 get what you can without scorching the area (you don’t have to get it all). 4 make damn sure that you rinse all of the shaved ass hair out of your ass crack. 5 damp dry with a towel, then leave it for someone else to use on their face lol

I wanted to shave because i was afraid of having left-overs stuck in it, and the itch that hair causes when it gets directly in contact with the god damn CENTER of the whole!!! but now…Oh you don’t know how much i love my ass hair now!

I honestly dont think that the problem is shaving, for u or anybody else! It appears you dont know how to WIPE your ass after taking a shit! GROSS!! I have never had such problems… you need to carry urself some baby wipes!!! So basically what you’re telling us all is even after u shaved, U STILL smelled n had dirty fecal sweat lingering between your ass??? THAT’s the time you should’ve had the most CLEANEST experience after going to bathroom… OMG I could imagine how filthy you are WITH your regrowth of ass hairs!! You probably have turds hanging from each hair!!! GROSS DUDE FKN GROSS!!!