Saturday, October 23, 2004

It's All Relative: How hard is hard? You've got to wonder when you read about John Kerry's "Exhibit A" of the grim economy:

You just told our story,' she said, pointing to her 11- and 16-year-old girls. 'I'm tired of saying no to them. We say no all the time.'

...Ms. Sheldon has laid down the law about Christmas already - no presents for adults - but, she said, she is still having to say no to her girls. 'This is Halloween, and they like to go to haunted houses,' she said, but each one costs $12 or more. 'They just went this weekend, and were already talking about another one,' she said. 'I'm like, 'You had your thrill. Once was enough.'

If John Kerry's elected all teenagers will have unlimited access to haunted houses, no matter what the cost. And all adults will have Christmas presents, no matter what the cost. There's no reason this great land of ours can't afford to send every teenager to a haunted house as often as they want. Haunted houses are run by over-priced, pampered special interests who have lobbied to keep their admission fees unfairly high. In John Kerry's America the government will pick up the bill, and as the only provider of haunted house tickets, they'll mandate the price of admission. No longer will teenagers be denied of the thrill of repeated haunted house scares.

And in John Kerry's America, no one will ever have to submit to the indignity of a Christmas unmarred by the commercial.