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Counting change.

The older boys wanted to talk about it.. My ever current events focused first borns ask all the right questions. I think it might have been 5 minutes after I heard of Boston I received my first text.

"What happened in Boston?"

On the way home in the van we had the discussion about not talking about the bombing in front of #4.. who is 10.

The twins were irritated (which for the record happens everyday).

"Why do you always shelter us?"
"He will hear about it in school!"
"He has to realize that bad things happen in the world Mom."

All truth.

I think back to very moment I saw my Dad in the school office in 3rd grade. I knew something was wrong. My rough, ginger bearded, old school father did not just stop by school.. ever. The only logical explanation was that I had missed a dentist appointment.

I made my way to the office, a little excited with the prospect of missing some school.. being singled out when the teacher told me to pack my stuff.. It was was a fine bit of fun!

That last bit of fun saw the end of my innocence. A few days later my Mom was gone and that skipping little girl had grown up. The harsh realities we face as (semi) mature adults had been thrust upon a skinny, mousy, little girl.

So last night I kept the radio off, forbade the use of the internet, banned all talk of bombs, races and sadness. We ate, all 6 of my most precious people around the table. Thanked our Maker for his provision. When it came my turn to talk about my favorite part of the day I said,

"Right now."

"You always say that!!" They cried in unison.

Later #4 was counting the money in his piggy bank. I'm not just saying this because I'm his mother, but he looked angelic, so intent. He has these big plans for saving up a thousand dollars, so much childhood optimism. There is no such thing as a dream too big when you are 10 years old.

That is innocence.

A place where saving enough pennies to make a grand can happen overnight.
A place where you don't have to sit your wee babe down and talk about bombs, guns and evil.

Think what you may, the time will come when the world will chip away that innocence, but for now, I however will protect it.. nurture it.. fight for it. For once it is gone it can never be regained.