Silence Is (Tarnished) Golden

Not sure what to say. I… want to say something, but at the same time I want to say nothing. The situation as it stands is that… I want to say nothing to anyone.

I just… I… I dunno. I guess I see myself as being out of control when interacting with people for some reason, so the sensible route is to not interact.

Hate how this damn thing can creep up on you, and you struggle to see the line where things go from normal to fucked up. Where you blindly (or naively) go into situations and things change for whatever reason, and it’s like you’re happily going left until you clatter into someone because they changed direction and you didn’t notice.

Don’t know why this should be a surprise to me as I know I’m socially awkward. Guess I just struggle to learn anything from that knowledge, so I resort to an all or nothing setup, in this case, nothing. It isn’t easy, it sure as hell isn’t fun, but…. *shrugs*