A streetside glimpse of India from Bangalore - no paid news, no lobbying, no plants, no stringing along - just pure viewpoints. My own political education. Satire Alert (At times)!
Because, nothing is permanent, only interim!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

"So, what did you do today?" asked the boss of Dheeraj."Work" he replied somewhat confusedly as if he was supposed to do something else."Work, apart", barked the boss, "What else did you do today? Did you take up any initiative?"Dheeraj scratched his head and blurted out what he thought was closest to the initiative he took,"I complained to Food committee about the oily Puris"."No", replied the boss with a wave of his hand, "that does not classify as an initiative."So saying he called his favourite employee, who will know as Child Soldier, CS."Soldier". CS snapped to attention almost with a military precision. "What did you do today?"

"Sir". He began. "I planned for my work in the morning, drafted my objective for the day, checked if they aligned with, among other things, the companies mission, vision, values, ethics and code. I benchmarked it with the best paradigms shifts across the globe and for every item that I thought had a mismatch with the criteria, I put the, sorry, revisited, the question and fine tuned the objective so as to realign it to the mission of our company. Having done that, I proceeded to come up with an action item list which was a granular listing of my above objectives. Until lunch, I was done with this breakdown. Post lunch, which was actually another meeting in which I had to eat, I had 23 meetings and then it was time to go home."

"Excellent" barked the boss. "It was a very productive day dor you. I like it. Keep it up"

Turning to Dheeraj, he said,"Now do you understand how you must work?" Then in a 'this-is-something-you-need-for-your-success' tone, continued,"You see, Dheeraj, work does not mean doing work. It means a lot more. Learn from CS. He is setting a very good example for the team"

"So, let me teach you another something else? What initiatives did you take today, CS?"

"I created a website and 3 excel sheets consisting of 38 parameters for my team, where each person has to update the daily work thats on her plate. Once she has to update it in the morning, then she has to update that on the hour every hour, so each of us is on the same page as another persons work."

"So when does your team work?" Dheeraj was about to ask, but stopped short even as the boss replied "Great", with a sparkle in his eyes.

Turning to Dheeraj, the boss said, "So, Mr.Not-so-ideal-employee, when can you begin?"

7 comments:

Ha ha! Excellent! This is exactly the kind of BS one is subjected to in the corporate world these days, especially in the Indian IT industry (which is where I work). I must say that companies overseas understand better the value of 'work' as opposed to so-called value additions, best practices etc etc.

This is exactly what happens in the IT industry :)day in day out , as they say , if you cannot convince then confuse !! Indian IT industry is like our very own government, dunno how it functions but whoa , arent we amongst one of the large sucessful democracies?

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