Resort time means making best impression

Melanie Nicholas

Published 12:45 am, Sunday, November 1, 2015

Image 1of/1

Caption

Close

Image 1 of 1

Resort time means making best impression

1 / 1

Back to Gallery

The Hubs had his annual work conference this month, and all CEOs were encouraged to bring their families with them to the Broadmoor resort in Colorado Springs, Colorado. It’s a big deal, with every single CEO in the company in attendance, as well as the regional CEOs, corporate vice presidents and corporate president. In other words, all the people I don’t want to trip and fall in front of.

Every day of the conference is planned out for the attendees. Meetings and teambuilding during the day, family and fellowship events in the evening. Everything had a dress code as well. And while it was not stated implicitly, it was implied that yoga pants, messy buns and bare feet were not going to cut it.

So Operation Stepford Family went into full effect. Which wasn’t hard for the Hubs and kids. They always look great. All they needed were haircuts and a run to the dry cleaners. I, on the other hand, was faced with the sobering reality that I have let myself go to complete hell this year.

Nothing fit. Grey hairs. My nails were tragic and every last precious drop of Botox was gone. Sigh. It is an uphill battle to look 38 when you are 42. Some corporate wife I have turned out to be.

Fifty texts between my stylist friend and Posh Spice about what to wear, what colors were “in” this season, and whether I could rock a faux fur vest - “cause don’t no one wanna look like Sasquatch.”

Had to get hair colored and cut, nails done, teeth bleached, a pair of comfortable riding boots and two cocktail outfits. Outfits for hiking and sightseeing. Accessories for each; finally an occasion suited to my studded snake cuff bracelet! I had so much to keep track of that I eventually had to create a spreadsheet that listed each day, event and outfit by family member. And because I can never do anything ahead of time, I was frantically packing the night before we left. Do you know how much room a pair of riding boots and a fur vest take up in a suitcase? Yep. All the room. Throw in a few hair bows that I didn’t want crushed and there was hardly an inch left. I know you won’t be surprised when I tell you I managed to forget all of my hair styling lotions, potions and tools. My cocktail jumpsuit was too long for the heels I brought. Sigh. But did you know you can buy just about anything at a resort? Hello, $40 hairbrushes. They even hem and press clothes with a two-hour turnaround. Service there is exceptional, and when I die, I am pretty sure heaven will look a lot like the Broadmoor.

I had several talks with the kids about behavioral expectations because even though this was vacation, it was Daddy’s work, too. They were angels, participating in the events and generally charming everyone they could get their hands on. Bodacious couldn’t get enough of the mechanical bull for our barbecue-themed family night, and Parksalot didn’t set anything on fire at the s’mores station. I set myself a two-drink, one dessert limit to spare myself any unfortunate incidents.

Our last night was the super fancy and super fun awards dinner. But after a three-hour jeep tour and three days of minding my p’s and q’s, I was starting to fade fast. At 9 o’clock, I asked The Hubs to pick up the kiddos from child care and walk us to our room. Before we left though, we ran into his regional boss, Frank. Frank is fabulous and just oozes warmth and Texas charm, and he couldn’t wait to introduce me to his boss. As in THE boss of all the bosses.

I put on my biggest, most confident smile. I extended my hand and uttered a hurried prayer. Oh please, Lord. I have worked so hard not to embarrass myself or my husband this week. Everyone has been their prettiest and most perfect, and I could not be more proud. If you will just let me get through this one last introduction with grace, I will be so very thankful.

“This is Melanie Nicholas,” Frank said. “She is a writer, and likes to tell stories about her kids, Parksalot and Bodacious.” Then, turning toward me, Frank said, “Bodacious and I rode on the elevator together yesterday, did she tell you what she said to me?”

Dang. Dang, dang, dang. No telling. Little magpie. She is just like her mother, tells everything she knows. Smile remains frozen in place and I say nothing. He throws his head back with laughter.

“She told me I was silly! Melanie, your daughter is a hot mess.”

The Hubs, who never asks me to be anything I’m not, lit up. He literally beamed with pride. “She’s just like her mom!”

Thankful indeed, Lord. Thankful, indeed.

Melanie Nicholas is a full-time momma, writer and mommy blogger. She and The Hubs have two uh-mazing children, Parksalot, 7, and Bodacious, 4. You can follow her amazing adventures fighting grime and insecurity on Facebook, Twitter and at TheBathwaterBlogs.com. Her column appears in the Midland Reporter-Telegram every other week.