Ye Olde Sunken Treasure: Animu Archives

¤ May 5, 2015 ¤

I look at the front page of Tapastic a lot to find any cool new fantasy/horror comics I haven’t picked up. And most of them I exit within the first few minutes of reading. I thought to myself, “What exactly IS my criteria for abandoning ship?” So some of my most hated anime cliches:

– Harems. Okay, I don’t know if this is ‘cliche’ or not since it’s a fucking genre, but harems are the scum of all anime. The patron god of all fanservice. Harem anime are some of the worst anime to ever grace the earth. There are very few harem anime that actually do it right. School Days is probably one of the most reasonable harems by actually playing it straight. As the harem trope goes, the main character is a colossal fuckwit, and somehow garners girls. Then the girls find out he’s actually a manipulative cunt and are actually hurt and betrayed unlike generic “see look at what a pervert the protagonist is! Tee hee we love him still.” Then they become mentally unstable and make grave decisions because as the trope dictates, the harem girls focus their entire lives around the protagonist, except in this case we see that in the real world that is very unhealthy and not a good relationship, and causes mental stress upon said harem girls. It’s a harem but a less shitty harem by far.

– Fanservice. Sort of ties in with above. 99% of all fanservice has no reason to be in the show whatsoever. Whenever I see overuse of fanservice I immediately dump the anime into the “Chinese Cartoons” pile and ship it to the nearest waste management facility.

– Moeshit. I couldn’t stomach Kyoukai no Kanata because KyoAni can’t make anything not soo kawaii uguuu for more than five seconds.

– Tittays. Having a cast of busty women marks you into Chinese Cartoons territory no matter what your plot is about. At the same time, having even a single character with a bust tease the flat-chested character is not funny. It never was funny. Maybe in the 90s. It’s not funny anymore though. Yes, ha ha, loli character has flat chest, she wishes she had big chest, so funny, boobs in face, very funny much laugh.

– Archetypes. Tsunderes, kuuderes, yanderes. They are not characters beyond this. Just stop. I guess moeshit fits in this category since it’s an archetypes and rarely if ever does a moeshit character have a personality past “moe.”

– Falling on top of the love interest by coincidence. If I hadn’t stopped watching the anime by then this is it. This is the deal breaker. I’m done. Bye.

– Blushing when the love interest walks by. Yes, because real people GASP AND BLUSH when someone they have a crush on walks into the room. Okay. The anime metre is high.

– Childhood friends being love interests. Please stop. It’s been done over and over and over again.

– Nosebleeds, or any stock anime face. They are stupid and bad.

– Cat ears on anything. I think there are few things that piss me off more than having cat ears on hair or hats. That’s another one of my instant NO marks. The only time I’d be okay with it is if the character is actually a cat or a fox spirit, like a kitsune, a nekomata or any sort of other folklore cat/fox monster.

¤ September 23, 2014 ¤

Are you fucking kidding me???? SAO, the leader of all wish-fulfillment garbage animes, somehow has managed to infiltrate Vindictus and they have a SAO-themed event. Including armours that not only cost $40 to buy but look horrendous.

¤ August 31, 2014 ¤

I’ll preface this by saying that this is probably a combination of me having sads lately and having a general jealous/vengeful tendency about me.

So, my comic is on SmackJeeves, a platform that I’ve not used other than to read a single comic I like. SJ is composed of this: some good comics, a whole lot of anime comics, and a FUCKLOAD of yaoi comics.

I don’t have anything against the comics that actually have a style that isn’t blatantly copied anime. And while I do not like yaoi, I also have nothing against them either, provided it isn’t weeaboo shit.

This is yaoi hands, FUCKERS. Is this what you like?! You like fucking yaoi hands?!?!

What I don’t like is that dumb anime comics and yaoi comics in general just get a billion fans just by existing. I don’t know what it is about SJ demographics, but I’m assuming they’re composed mostly of 16-year-old girls, and everyone knows that 16-year-old girls LOVE yaoi. I’m not going to lie – when I was a 16-year-old girl, I also liked yaoi. Take this for example: this comic has five pages and 105 fans. 105 people like this comic. ONE-HUNDRED AND FIVE PEOPLE. I HAVE TWELVE PEOPLE. They probably like it because it is Boy’s Love.

And there’s a numerous amount of bland anime comics that look super generic, yet somehow garner ten billion fans BY looking like generic anime. There are actually a fair amount of anime-styled comics on SJ that aren’t actually garbage, but then you get this shit that’s literally copied anime garbage. This person has five comics and FOURTY-TWO FANS. WHAT THE FUCK? OH, RIGHT. IT’S TAGGED AS BOY’S LOVE.

Hey guys, maybe I should turn my comic into a story of all the male characters fucking each other so that people will actually like it, huh?!?!?

I’m just jealous that these people get encouraging comments like, “Wow, your [shitty weeaboo asshole anime] chibi style is so neat and cool!” or “Neat, I can’t wait for more!” or some other such stuff. Do I need these comments? Do these comments affect me in any way whatsoever? No, if I’d get such comments I’d still think my work is garbage, but I’m a lonely individual and I’m mad that I devote my time to this when douchebag 16-year-old girls get all sorts of encouraging comments after posting the latest weeaboo bullshit page of their Boy’s Love comic. Fuck this heterosexual earth.