Cash for Clunkers: BMW M Bike Disappoints

BMW’s M-Series branding is rapidly turning from a guarantee of extra engineering (and speed) into a badge which can be applied to anything in order to get fools to pay top-dollar for otherwise everyday gear. Exhibit A: The BMW M Bike.

The M Bike is a slightly upgraded variant of BMW’s mountain and cruiser bike range, all of which come in this odd, sculpted shape. These bikes begin at around $1,100 for adult sizes. What makes the M different, apart from the familiar M badge beloved of drug-dealers the world over? Actually not much: The press release proudly lists a “shiny red seat inlay” in the first paragraph. Clearly we are dealing with serious dedication to high-end vehicle design.

You also get “built-in” gears (Shimano SLX), and anthracite frame (further reading reveals that it is just anthracite-colored. The frame is actually aluminum), a Manitou Match suspension fork and disk-brakes. The weight is a surprisingly hefty 12.9 kg (28.5-pounds): certainly not worthy of the high-performance M-tag.

The bike will go on sale at BWW’s online store and at “select” BMW dealers (presumably to be bought by Beamer drivers to be displayed on roof-racks) in June for an as-yet unannounced price, which you can bet will bear no relation to the actual components of the bike itself.