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03 March 2016

When not preoccupied by inventing vulgar headlines, the busy bees of CNN seem to make inroads in one of the more painful aspects of our existence, namely non-existence of clean sources of energy. This time they have revolutionized an already revolutionary (according to them) new design of a blimp, developed by Lockheed Martin. Here is the punch line:

The Hybrid Airship is a helium-powered craft that can cover thousands of kilometers in a single journey, with a top speed of 60 knots.

Just to think that until now no one, Lockheed Martin's boffins included, had thought to use helium as fuel! I bet that even helium itself hadn't a slightest idea of its ability.

I would also add another, less novel idea: why don't CNN anchors use helium for major announcements like that revolutionary one. It will sound much better, judge by this example:

And I promised more: here is another revolutionary discovery, about hitherto unknown quirks of modern geography:

I bet they are. After all, Aussies are so used to privacy, and now they have to have borders with all kinds...