Furious, Cosby disputes claim there were only 35 women

Standing next to a visibly upset Bill Cosby, a lawyer representing the 78-year-old actor called the editors of New York Magazine “reckless and unprofessional” for their decision to feature in a recent cover story interviews with 35 women who allege they were assaulted by the legendary comic.

Attorney Mo Muhney says that had the writers conducted minimal due diligence, they would have easily found hundreds of women who were wooed, sedated, and bedded by Cosby.

“We would find this story laughable, if it weren’t so damning to my client’s reputation as a pill-pushing philanderer of the highest order,” Muhney said. “This article contains defamatory lies, and it amounts to nothing more than libel.”

“The truth, as everyone knows, is that Bill Cosby is the original Dr. Feelgood,” she said. “A walking, sweet-talking Medicine Cabinet Casanova, the finest druggist Don Juan there ever was. To claim that 35 is the number of women he assaulted is an insult to his sheer skill in getting women into his bedroom to go for a ride on the Twilight State Express.”

A rough count provided by Cosby suggests that he assaulted at least 543 women, but his legal team is cautioning that those are just the ones he remembers.

“You’ve got to keep in mind that Mr. Cosby was also often sky-high when he fed those cuddly kittens their little pharmacological treats,” said Muhney.