Does anyone else think it's a little fucked up to call my sister a genius and praise her for it, then turn to me at call me "bright" but "unmotivated". I think that's the most insulting thing that's ever happened to me.

I'm afraid my overall grade this semester is going to be a B. When did I start caring?

I get accused of being a bitch a lot. I need to start living up to that. Just sayin'.

I'm thinking about starting a Zombie-blog. So I can rant about popular events, and then make some zombie-brain-related joke. It would be AWESOME. I would call it "Zombielicious" (or something). Z to the O to the M B I E, it's ZOMBIELICIOUS!

Okay, so I pretty much stayed at home today and did nothing except draw my alter-ego, Princess Tinkle. I also talked on the phone a lot an watched The Colbert Report, but that was pretty much it. So tomorrow I am resolved to do the following:

Go to a used bookstore.

Role some dice with the homies.

Also, I hate having writers block. Especially when I have a good story in mind, yet I can't seem to write it out...eloquently or anything. LIFE IS HORRIBLE.

I need to find a pseudoscience book for my anthropology class...maybe something about ATLANTIS or about how the holocaust "wasn't real". My sister said she once read a book by an anthropologist who claimed she knew everything about Ancient Egypt because she was the reincarnation of an Egyptian princess.

Okay, my question is: why do people always claim they're reincarnations of royalty? What happened to all the peasants and the lower class? Do they not get reincarnated? I'm pretty sure in my past life (assuming I had one), I wasn't anything super fancy like a princess or anything. I was probably some peasant who ate rotten meat and bathed once a year. That's just realistic.

EDIT: Okay, Ann Coulter is a CUNT. Here's what she's saying in a nutshell:

"OMG, Republican girls are SO PRETTY. Prettier then liberals. That makes us better." Hmm, yeah. You an Michelle Malkin can suck it.

"We're not anti-gay! We just think they shouldn't marry or have the same rights as heterosexuals." That makes perfect sense!

I had a dream last night that sharks could walk on land. LAND SHARKS! It was scary.

So, I'm getting surgery in May. It's nothing serious, I'm just getting my wisdom teeth "surgicaly" removed. I AM SCARED. This is my first time getting "surgery". I also hate people messing with my mouth. I think if I was the tiniest bit more immature, I'd bite. Seriously.

Tomorrow I hafta take Rambo to the groomer. I'm not looking forward to the sad doggy look on his sad doggy face when I drop him off. But I have errands to run while he's getting groomed, such as questing for books and new dice because I am a NERD.

I watched the Sarah Silverman Program marathon last night. I found that show ridiculously funny, which I shouldn't have since it was HORRIBLE. But I couldn't stop laughing. I felt like such a bad person. But at least I don't get drunk off cough syrup or sleep with God....unless...

Speaking of bad people, my dad drove me to the dentist today. Okay, he's not a completly bad person (maybe he is...), but he is a horrible driver. And since I got in a car crash a few months ago, I get pretty freaked out when people drive bad. He was weaving in and out of lanes, cutting people off, and tail-gating people. I kept slamming my foot on the floor on an invisible, imaginary brake. ANYWAY, someone cuts my dad of and a freaks out, and says: "Oh yeah, you HAVE TO be in front of me because you're MEXICAN!"

I'm pretty sure that the older my dad get, the more racist/sexist he gets. Here are some examples of the lovely things my father has said in the past few months:

"Feminism is stupid. Women should stop complaining! (keep in mind, I'M a feminist, as is my sister)"

"Feminism isn't about equality! Implus, women CAN'T be equal to men."

"They're only complaining because they're BLACK." (that was about the black man who got shot and killed by police the day of his wedding as he was walking home, UNARMED)

"Women are stupid because they can't do math" When my sister asks, "Well, am I stupid? I have two degrees and am going to GRADUATE SCHOOL for my PHD", he replies, "You're different". That's the number one way to tell if someone is prejudice, is if they say "Well, you're different from other _____s".

I honestly don't understand why people are racist/sexist/STUPID. It just doesn't make any sense.

EDIT: Okay, this reminds me of a story Jaime told me. He was on a bus/shuttle thing to go from Camp Pendelton to San Diego, and there were some stupid girls behind him, talking. They were like spoiled valley girls, or SOMETHING. Anyway, this is the conversation as follows:Girl: Hilary Clinton is going to win the presidential election because she's a woman. America, like, needs a woman to run the country.

Jaime: *turns around* That doesn't make any sense. That's like saying Barack Obama is going to win because he's black.

Girl: Shut up! Like, can you even vote? I bet you don't even have a green card.WHAT?!

(By the way, if Clinton wins the democratic canidacy, I'm going to be PISSED)

So not much is going on, obviously. Midterms are over. I've spent the last hour and a half playing Princess Maker 2. I'm going out tomorrow, but tonight I'm home all alone and Jaime went to see 300 so I don't even have a boyfriend to have long phone talks with. WOE IS ME.

He get deployed in September, I think? He asked me what I'm going to do once he's gone to fill up all my free time. I have several things planned:

Go to shows more often

Go to Anime meetings at UTEP

Maybe do other fun stuff with FRIENDS! HOORAY FRIENDS!!

I am so bored right now. I'm making lists for everything. EVERYTHING!! This is what I've made lists of:

Dear Future Randi,Please, please, for the love of GOD, do not procrastinate.Your BFF,Randi xoxoxo

So I totally put off all my reading for Anthropology/Astronomy/History. I've managed to catch up in most of my reading, but it's taken a lot of time. I also took my first midterm today, for English. I'm pretty sure that this is what the last sentance of my final essay read:"It is arguable that the dog is a physical embodiement of OH CRAP I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME nature"My TA is going to read that and be like "what the fuck?!" and then go tell my sister because they are grad-student friends. Damn them.

BY the way, Jaime says he's coming home on April first. I TOTALLY DON'T BELIEVE HIM! I'm convienced this is an April Fools joke, and I'm going to go the airport to pick him up and he's gonna be like "Just kidding!". I would then be forced to severely hurt him. SERIOUSLY.

This Valentines day was AWESOME because my boyfriend is a bajillion miles away in California so I got to spend it alone, just like every girl dreams.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. Allie and Alex both gave me little gifts, and I released anger by pushing through a crowd of people like it was a mosh-pit or something. A whole group of stupid girls were blocking the doors of the UGLC because they were afraid to go outside because it was sprinkling. OH NO! Their three-inch thick makeup might smear, and their curls might fall, and what about their pleather hooker-heels?! Please spare the pleather hooker-heels!

I don't understand why anyone gets so dolled up just to go to class. Okay, UTEP is on the side of a fucking mountain. There is no reason to wear heels to basically go HIKING. Ms. Byrne says it's border culture for women to always be dressed up, but Becky says they're trying to get their MRS. I think they're just trying to get laid.

The other night, Jaime called me at midnight-thirty. I don't remember answering the phone, or anything that we talked about, really. All I remember was telling him "No, I'm not too tired to talk!". But of course, my boyfriend is the master of calling at bad times. He called me at like seven this morning, and later on when I was just getting out of the shower. It's because he has naked-Randi senses/Randi's-sleeping-so-lets-wake-her-up senses.

I have really good news, but if I write it down or say it, I'll jinx it because apparantly that's how my life works.

This morning, I did my eyeliner all dark-like and then brushed my teeth and pretended that I was a RABID RACCOON while foaming at the mouth with toothpaste. Then, as I walked Courtney to her class today, I held my jacket out behind me like a CAPE. I am 18 years old and very mature, thank you very much.

Speaking of maturity, I have a new resolution to stick my tongue out at a girl who was mean to me in high school. I would have accomplished that today, but she looked away and didn't see me do it. I hope maybe once I do this, I'll stop semi-hoping that she drops out of college and becomes a crack-whore. Actually, I don't even hope that. I'm not even hurt about any of the things she's done to me. I am being a brat because apparantly I have regressed to the age of FIVE. I LIKE CAPITAL LETTERS!

Okay, seriously, I'm more mature then this.

Mike Birbiglia is my new favorite comedian and I love "The Guitar Guy at the Party". Also, he looks like this guy from my history class last semester except less bald.

I wish my boyfriend would tell me my eyes look like space crystals. I also wish my boyfriend could become pregnant so I could knock him up and then he would be discharged from the Marines. Is it strange that I wish that?

I have decided that 1) I have the coolest scarf at UTEP. Honestly, there is no way to beat a six-foot long, handknit Harry Potter scarf UNLESS you have a twelve to eighteen foot, handknit Dr. Who scarf and that 2) I want so bad for Jaime to be discharged from the Marines. Okay, I decided that as soon as he joined, but I wanted to reiterate that.

I read Young Goodman Brown today by Hawthorne for my English class. I AM DEPRESSED NOW. Just thought I would let you know. The story ended: "...they carved no hopeful verse upon his tombstone, for his dying hour was gloom". I am totally resolved to reform my life and stop being cynical. Okay, I decided to do that a long time ago but MAN I better get started.

Jaime is going to the doctor tomorrow, and I'm praying and hoping that maybe he coughs up blood on the doctor and they discharge him as soon as possible. And then he'll come home and be broke for a while and then maybe get a crappy apartment but we'll make it fantabulous with LOVE.

Okay, every once in a while I'll pull into the UTEP parking lot and park, then get out of my car and notice the person I parked behind/next to has some really stupid bumper sticker, like some fundamentalist crap or something sexist or stupid and I get annoyed and seriously consider moving my car because I don't want to subject my poor little Geo to bad bumper stickers. But then again, some people probably get offended or annoyed by my Kinky Friedman sticker.

ANYWAY, I got asked on a date today, which was flattering (though I said no). I also feel bad because I meet guys in my classes, and they ask me out on dates and I'm like "damnit, I just want a platonic friendship! Stop making my boyfriend right that men only wanna get with me, not be my friends!". I know not all guys are like that, James is a platonic friend so is Jorge and some other guys, but a lot of guys seem to not be able to grasp platonic friendships. And I feel bad telling them no.

SO, my boyfriend might (definatly) have tuberculosis, so I'm hoping this gets him discharged. I'm totally imagining a better life if he gets discharged! He'd get back around spring, so we'd be able to do fun things like play in the park and fly kites and catch butterflies! And then when it gets hot, we can have water fights and I can shoot him in the crotch with a water gun. Of course, his mom won't let him stay with her anymore, so he'll hafta get a job and an apartment, but that would be cool. We could watch movies and cook together, and he could sleep on an airmattress and I'll buy him stuffed animals. And we'll go shopping for sheets and blankets at Good Will together like hipster college kids. I HAVE EVERYTHING PLANNED!

Is it bad that I wish physical harm on my boyfriend so he'll get kicked out of the Marines? In my defense, he hates the Marines now.

Okay, I love Harry and the Potters. I think that's apparant. But I think one of my favorite songs is GRYFFINDOR ROCKS! It starts off Take of on my broom/I'm gonna fly circles around you! and I'm like SWEET! It's like the most awesome shit-talking song ever. Seriously. Heaven forbid that I ever end up in a physical fight, since I'm a pacifist and everything (cough), but if I did I'd want that song to be playing in the background while I get all up in my opponents face.

I miss Jaime, but it seems he might actually be medically discharged. I don't wanna talk about it because 1) I might jinx it, and 2) I'm actually kinda hoping he isn't as sick as the doctors think he is.

I really love my anthropology class. It is awesome, as is my English class. Astronomy and History...not so much. I really enjoy the reading material for Anthropology. All I've read for English so far is The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, which is okay. I ordered the novels I need to read, but they haven't arrived yet.

I have a new goal in life: to see a total solar eclipse. I saw a picture of it in Astronomy and I was like "OMG! It's beautiful!". Of course, you can't look at the eclipse directly, but it's still super-rad.

There's these times when I think really bad things about people who've wronged me in the past. Out of nowhere, I'll think of said person and be like "FUCK! Stupid ass cunt!! I hope their tits/balls fall off!!" Sometimes more brutal then that, but you get the idea. And then I'm like "No, that's a bad Randi! We don't do that!"

OKAY, if anyone can answer this question, I will be grateful:Why the hell do people find it necissary to lie? About everything! They lie in an attempt to make one feel better, they lie to break a couple up, they lie for the sake of lying. I'm not saying I don't lie. But I am making super-uber-awesome attempts to stop, and I am kicking ass and taking names and kicking those names in the ass. But you know what I don't kick ass at? NOT HOLDING GRUDGES! ARGH! BAD RANDI!

Jaime left again today after being in town for about a week and it totally sucks. I woke up at 5:30 this morning to meet him at the airport before he goes back to SAN DIEGO, which was good because he left his ticket in my car. It was awesome, my alarm went off and my phone rang at the same time this morning. It woke me up twice as loud!

It feels like he's not gone yet. Like I could get in my car right now and drive to his house and he'd be there to hug me and give me a kiss. Everytime he leaves, it gets harder. I hate this. Joining the Marines was the worst thing he could ever do to me.

I believe in PATHETIC FALLACY! That maybe I'm the main character in a Romantic story and I'm on a quest for enlightenment or knowledge or a white whale or something and that nature is totally reflecting my inner nature (that's pathetic fallacy, foo'). I believe in pathetic fallacy because everytime Jaime leaves out of town, it rains or gets cloud. I AM NOT KIDDING! Someone is probably sitting at a laptop right now, typing out my life into a story! But maybe it's a Poe or Hawthorne type story and I'm just going to end up cutting someone up into pieces or something. Blegh.

I wish my boyfriend would dislocate his knee so he would be discharged from the Marines (I believe that's the lesser evil in this case).

El-Jay has changed a lot. I DON'T LIKE IT. Nope. Too fancy. I like to keep it simple.

So, it's been a while since I've updated. Just haven't felt like it. No special reason, just lazy. Not a lot has happened. Been practicing some Buddhism, dabbling in writing fiction. Drawing more. Daydreaming. And I've been happier then I have in a while. Oh, I've also completely forgotten proper English and have fallen in love with fragements and comma splices. ITSALLGOOD (screwmyspacebar).

Jaime returns this Friday. RANDI GETTIN SOME LOVIN! Yes I am. And it will be fantastic. He gets in at 9:00pm, and we are totally going to run to eachother all slow-motion like at the airport and embrace eachother and maybe kiss a little bit (READ: Make out on the floor in front of stunned onlookers). Will there be groping, you ask? Perhaps, my good friend, perhaps.

I got a banjo for Christmas. I can only play a couple of songs, but I mostly practice picking. It is fun OLDSCHOOL.

I've been fairly busy lately. Well, keeping myself busy so I won't miss Jaime as much. I still miss him tons. I'm learning how to play the harmonica, and I'm picking up blues songs pretty quick. Because apparantly I'm emo.

James and Courtney saw "No Robot!" tagged somewhere around campus. I was like "Oh noes, someone stole my street name!". Bah, it's nothing without the comma.

This is my favorite month of the year! October always has the nicest weather and the spooky holiday and everything.

My boyfriend left this morning for training, and its gonna be another ten weeks(ish) until I get to see him again. I didn't go see him off, even though I woke up at three this morning and had the chance to. I'm all upset and stuff, but I'm picking up all sorts of new things to do to keep myself busy, such as:

getting a job (but thats more to pay for tuition and stuff).

bicycling (because I need to get in shape)

studying spanish (I didn't realize until I was around Jaime's family that the little bit I studied over the summer helped A LOT).

studying for school because I am hardly even trying and getting good grades, so if I tried I'd do great.

knitting (but I need more yarn).

I've done tons of stuff in the past couple of weeks:

I got in a car crash.

I've started job hunting.

I've boned myself over by having no prior job experience and getting in that damn crash, because now I have no money for college.

I celebrated my one year with Jaime.

I spent so much time with Jaime, but I still am not satisfyed (and I'm angry at myself for that).

Went to a UTEP football game. Even I realized their defense sucks.

Tons of other stuff, mostly with Jaime.

SO, I have the next couple of days planned out. Tomorrow I'm going to go visit Ms.Byrne, and maybe some other teachers. Thursday I'm going to go apply at a few places and maybe draw something crazy. Friday morning, I might go watch the PHS band practice, mostly so I can visit the band directors afterwards if they're not pissed. And I think Friday I might ask some folks if they wanna hang out after school or whatever...

Hey, does anyone know who's hiring? And if not, will you give me money?