Well, of course it's about my life and stuff I think about. Just like a quadzillionbazillion other bloggers. I'm obsessed with God. I love beauty, enjoy absurdity, dance with despair, seek silence, and think everyone is goofy. Here's my world and what I think of it....

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A Best Friend Dies

Ray Ray was nearly 15 we suspect. We got her from the pound, my wife instantly connected with her because my wife instantly connects with things and people that have been abused and neglected. She eventually became comfortable and wouldn't cower and pee when someone made a sudden move or raised a voice or told her to get off the couch. Her guilty concience never went away, however. We would come home and we could tell by the way she greeted us if she had eaten the bread off the counter, been in the trash or slept on the couch.

She was a beautiful dog and so gentle and intuitive, but also very protective and even aggressive if someone threatened a family member. She once fought off a neighbor dog that attacked my father in law in our driveway while they were on a walk.

She was lying on the dining room floor in front of my daughter's room like she often was when I left for work. She wagged her tail, but didn't get up. She had arthritis, so we knew she wasn't going to be much longer able to walk, it was a matter of time before we'd have to put her to sleep. My wife called a couple hours later, she had something seriously wrong. I came home and .... well, my daughter says it better than I can on her blog.

I see the fluffy cloud tufts of you hair in the grass where I left them for the birds to use to line their nests.The cat is playing with them like she did every time I brushed you. She rolls around in them, lifts them and bats at them with her paws. She revels in their softness.After we buried you I pulled all the weeds around the orange tree. You weren't there to get in my face and nudge me every few minutes. You didn't cry and look at me plaintively with those golden eyes. I couldn't hug you or murmer to you. Oh, those eyes - those sad eyes are what drew me to you when we met. My quiet girl. My girl's eyes that pleaded to come home with me. I'm so, so glad that you did. The eyes that tried to focus on me when they could no longer be still. They are still.Twelve years of sweetness. My precious friend. I miss you.Mom