Thursday, November 20, 2014

Americans Don’t Like Soccer Anyway

Ok, so the world says “football” but in America, we say soccer. Next season New York will get an MLS (Major League Soccer) team called New York City FC (football club).

Who cares, we hate soccer anyway, and that’s true! Though we hate soccer, the world embraces the sport and no other sporting event like the FIFA (International Federation of Association Football) World Cup reflects this.

The FIFA board announced that the 2022 World Cup will be held in the country Qatar. For those who don’t know who or where this country is, think near Saudi Arabia, the Arabian Peninsula, and a Muslim nation.

Who would want to go to Qatar for the World Cup? This is a country that restricts alcohol to hotels and certain other locations. For Americans (and most Europeans), booze and sporting events go hand to mouth. This is a country that also will imprison you for sexting (texting dirty words). Yes, you can get arrested for sexting! Speaking of sex, this nation does not tolerate homosexuals.

Like any place that wants your business (aka money), Qatar has stated that yes, alcohol will be served (though no word if it will actually be at the stadium). They don’t hate gays, though they want you to remain in the closet, both literally and figuratively. According to the countries sporting minister Salah bin Ghanem bin Nasser al-Ali (damn, long ass name): "this impression, illusion that we don't care about our tradition and our ethical values ... We are studying all these issues. We can adapt, we can be creative to have people coming and enjoying the games without losing the essence of our culture and respecting the preference of the people coming here. I think there is a lot we can do." In other words, “we only want people who follow our traditions to come and if you can’t, please buy the merchandise anyway online.”

“Money, money changes everything. We think we know what we're doin' that don't mean a thing. It's all in the past now money changes everything” — Cyndi Lauper