October 05, 2007

But first, the Quotation du jour: "When an attorney arrives intoxicated at the prison for a legal visit, the policy shall be that he shall be escorted out of the facility. If correctional officers assess the attorney as too impaired to drive, the Madison County Sheriff shall be called."-- Policy memo taped to the wall in the public lobby of Limestone Correctional Facility, Harvest, Alabama, where the state warehouses HIV-positive prisoners. The carceral certainty in the directive's first word [emphasis added, of course] continued to make the investigators giggle a year after the first time we read it on the wall.Now, the story: The Chicago Daily Law Bulletin reports that the former chief judge of St. Clair County (Illinois) Circuit Court, and a colleague, face judicial misconduct complaints for a December 2006 car wreck attributed to drunk driving. According to the Complaint[PDF warning!] by the Illinois Judicial Inquiry Board, Judge Patrick M. Young started drinking before a St. Louis Rams game, kept drinking till about 5, and wound up with eight beers and two bloody marys in his honor's blood.

September 28, 2007

...which is what Denis (duh-KNEE) likes to say. That's the QDJ.This is the last Friday of the month, and you know what that means. A month ago, when Chicago police arrested 7 Critical Mass riders, the Sun-Times wrote wistfully about a "partnership" between cyclists and the police -- a partnership that "fizzled."At least 2 of the 7 arrestees have already been to court and gotten good outcomes.(The municipal codes they were accused of violating are here and here.) Tonight's ride will celebrate CM's 10th anniversary in Chicago, and National Lawyer's Guild Legal Observers will ride along.Provided nothing "fizzles" tonight, check back for an update.

September 25, 2007

The blues poems I would often make up in my head and sing on the way to work. (Except that I could never carry a tune. But when I sing to myself, I think I am singing.) One evening, I was crossing Rock Creek Bridge, singing a blues I was trying to get right before I put it down on paper. A man passing on the opposite side of the bridge stopped, looked at me, then turned around and cut across the roadway.He said: "Son, what's the matter? Are you ill?""No," I said. "Just singing.""I thought you were groaning," he commented. "Sorry!" And then he went on his way.So after that I never sang my verses aloud in the street anymore.-- Langston Hughes, The Big Sea: An Autobiography (New York: Hill & Wang, 1940), p. 217

Sorry for another hiatus, friends. You set yourself to mock the law, critique the policy, and take a modest stab at satire. You find to your dismay that what the kids in you know call "A Shite State of Affairs" leaves you in a funk: That days, then weeks, then a summer and a main era slip past when all you can say is, It's the same crap, same crap, the same.The plain fact is, T.P.S.M. is not and never will be anybody's "daily look" at anything. I'll try to post faithfully every Friday afternoon. I'm grateful for my friends, life, and the universe, and angry about the rest of it. Welcome to the weekly Pagan Science Monitor.Oh, and in honor of Bush at the UN this morning, a re-post of my fave QDJ.

The Ogre does what ogres can,Deeds quite impossible for Man,But one prize is beyond his reach:The Ogre cannot master speech.About a subjugated plain,Among it's desperate and slain,The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,While drivel gushes from his lips.

July 04, 2007

"The most dangerous informer of all is the jailhouse snitch who claims another prisoner has confessed to him....The precautionary rule of thumb with a jailhouse confession presented by another inmate is that it is false until the contrary is proved beyond a reasonable doubt."-- Judge Stephen S. Trott. Words of warning for prosecutors using criminals as witnesses. 47 Hastings Law Journal (1996), 1394 [not available online].

The pic is of Troy Anthony Davis, whose execution date in Georgia is set for July 17, less than two weeks from now. The state of Georgia set the death date four days after the U.S. Supreme Court denied certiorari in Troy's habeaspetition [PDF warning].Troy was convicted in 1991 of the fatal shooting of a Savannah, GA, police officer. Judge Trott's QDJ matters because of the absence of physical evidence, including the murder weapon; the post-trial recanting of trial testimony by alleged eyewitnesses; and especially the trial testimony of two jailhouse snitches, who claimed Troy confessed to them.(*) The death warrant is here [PDF warning].(*) The Amnesty International page is here. (*) Among the sources of international law that the Amnesty report on Troy's case cites is United Nations safeguards guaranteeing protection of the rights of those facing the death penalty (1984).The passage of the safeguards directly bearing on Troy's case is Paragraph 4: "Capital punishment may only be imposed when the guilt of the person charged is based upon clear and convincing evidence leaving no room for an alternative explanation of the facts."The "alternative explanation of the facts" in Troy's case is that one of the alleged eyewitnesses against him at trial is the real killer. Really, do follow some of the links and read about this case.

July 02, 2007

(Yes, that is a pic of a zombie. What graphic would you have used?)Bush to Dems: "I dare you to impeach me."There was no reason to do this except one, and it wasn't pandering to the arch-conservative base. It was nothing more or less than a display of power as an act of high political theater. It was a dare. The Democrats in Congress will do nothing.Consider what initial hearings (preparatory to impeachment) would show about this scandal alone (leaving aside the other crimes: the lies, the war, the torture, the eavesdropping, Katrina, the abuse of the separation of powers):(*) Libby was the one indicted, but others did the leaking.

"The first method for estimating the brain-power of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him....There are, in fact, three types of brain. One understands things for himself. The second discerns what others understand. The third neither understands for itself nor appreciates others."-- Machiavelli, The Prince (1513/1532), ch. 22

June 30, 2007

"For all the difficulties, the instinctive coutermeasures, we go on watching closely, trying to read a face, trying to measure intentions. Friend or foe? It's an ancient preoccupation. And even if, down through the generations, we are only right slightly more than half the time, it's still worth doing. More than ever now, on the edge of war, when the country still imagines it can call back this deed before it's too late...."-- Ian McEwan, Saturday, Doubleday, 2005

June 29, 2007

Excuses, excuses. Typepad was down half the afternoon. Sometimes, too, it is better for a man to live than to blog.Finally, sneaking away from the fun to blog (ignoring my own observation), I find that the CIA's FOIA site makes the computer crash...any theories about that?Consolation:My favorite prior Friday Afternoon Conspiracy Theory is about Watergate.

June 28, 2007

Chicago Municipal Code 4-4-335: "It shall be unlawful for any person holding a retail business license to sell paint in spray cans or etching materials to any person...."If you hate graffiti (ask around: it's a big IF even among property owners) you know this ordinance has accomplished bupkis.It does, however, impose some difficulty upon a law-abiding legal worker who just wants to paint his new bike.

June 27, 2007

Yesterday, it was the "family jewels," the day before, it was FBI spying on the National Lawyers Guild, today it's a subpoena about the illegal eavesdropping. The ruling class is having an orgy of contrition over its bad behavior. Or...maybe it's just like what trial lawyers have to do sometimes: Squarely face up to the "bad facts" that are going to come out in front of the jury anyway.Sometimes, where the government's bad faith is concerned, you have to go looking for the facts yourself. A very smart lawyer did the hard work to track down the number of custody deaths of immigration detainees (the government doesn't keep track!) and wrote a report for the UN.

June 25, 2007

The only surprise here is that the New York Times is covering it. The NLG Chicago member who called this morning to make sure I would buy the paper agreed with my theory: The Times wants to atone for Judith Miller and swallowing the Bush regime's lies before the war.Anyway, the story:In 1977, the New York City chapter of the National Lawyers Guild sued the FBI, seeking relief from the persistent surveillance, infiltration, and disruption. The case moved speedily along, as these sorts of suits always do, and twelve years later the government settled with the Guild. As part of the settlement, the FBI turned over 400,000 pages (you read that right) of surveillance logs, typed reports and handwritten notes by infiltrators, and dossiers on provocateurs.

June 24, 2007

Too much sunlight makes me grumpy, and I don't like how corporate Pride became (there was a tipping point well over a decade ago, but I can't remember exactly what it was), but everybody else is in a good mood, and thanks for all the barbecue.Since the conversation is turning serious,here (PDF warning) is the June 2007 issue of Lesbian/Gay Law Notes, issued monthly by New York Law School's Justice Action Center and Prof. Arthur S. Leonard. This issue seems very optimistic. The lead article is headlined, "LGBT legislative landslide," and the next article discusses an interesting child-support case in Pennsylvania.Maybe it's just lingering rage over Carhart, but I can't bring myself to see peaches-&-cream everywhere.Anyway, the "legislative landslide" -- (1) Oregon now is the first state to broaden language banning sexual-orientation to include gender-identity discrimination. Governor's press release here.

...2 days late & 50 cent short.Theory: That Mayor Daley is secretly hostile to cars in the city, and especially in the Loop.I was a doubter, but now I'm a believer.Fact: Many cyclists believe that Chicago is a bike-friendly city. New fact: The notorious and rather nutty Alderman Ed Burke (14th Ward) floated the idea that Chicago should borrow a page from London and adopt a congestion fee. Irrelevant fact (except to me): Last week I became the very, very proud owner of the Bargain-of-the-Day at Working Bikes, a non-profit collective that (A) takes bikes out of landfills and fixes them up, and (B) uses the money from bike sales to ship bikes to Ghana and elsewhere.The bike was such a rust-bucket, it reminded me of my first car. I avoided car ownership as long as I could, but one day the litigation director called me in and said there's no such thing as a criminal defense investigator without a car. (My friends had been lending me their cars, trucks, and, once, a scooter.)

June 24, 1374, Aachen: An outbreak of dancing mania grips the town.The citizens hallucinate and experience convulsions until dropping from exhaustion.The phenomenon was widespread in Medieval Europe and known before the twentieth century as "St. John's Dance." (Aside: "St. Vitus's dance" is a neurological disorder related to Huntington's Disease and unrelated to manic dancing.)(Further aside: The pic is a lithograph of the Danse Macabre, also totally unrelated; it's just that I'm listening to The Faint.) The Skeptical Inquirer has a good breakdown on dancing mania here. (Three fallacies.)

I DisappearI disappear / I lost control / My body's moving / All on its own / I watch myself / Walk away / A foreign spirit / Took my place....--The Faint, Wet From Birth, 2004

June 22, 2007

"Shut up! Stop laughing! This ain't funny! This is a real gun!"--Anonymous, un-apprehended bad guy, quoted this afternoon by my friend M., recalling how she got a fit of hysterical giggles while caught up in a convenience-store holdup on the Southwest Side of Chicago about 10 years ago.Context: This week, M. is returning, for her brother's wedding, to her family's village near Ramallah, West Bank, Palestine. She remembered coming home to Chicago after her last family visit as a teenager: Sadness to leave her extended family, but relief to be back in Chicago, her home town. Especially, M. clung to the thought, "I'll never have to see another gun again."

June 16, 2007

The patron had engaged me as kitchen plongeur; that is, my job was to wash up, keep the kitchen clean, prepare vegetables, make tea, coffee, and sandwiches, do the simpler cooking, and run errands.... (Ch. XX)...And yet the plongeurs, low as they are, also have a kind of pride. It is the pride of the drudge -- the man who is equal to no matter what quantity of work.... (Ch. XIV)

Because the temperature in my apartment rose with the sun, and sleep became impossible, and I realized I had dreamed I was a dishwasher again. I took the book off the shelf (whoever snagged my copy of Catalonia, bring it back) and found my favorite passages again before the dog woke or I even made coffee.

My mother called me to her bedsideThese words she said to meIf you don't quit your rambling waysThey're gonna get you in the penetentiaryGonna get you in the penetentiary poor boyGonna get you in the penetentiaryIf you don't quit your reckless waysThey're gonna get you in the penetentiary

Well the jury said I had to payAnd the clerk he wrote it downAnd the judge called out my numberTwo sixes upside downTwo sixes upside down poor boyTwo sixes upside downThe judge called out my numberTwo sixes upside down

June 12, 2007

...down there?...And is that why she got out of jail for a minute?You celebrity-obsessed pinheads, why do you care?!And if you are a celebrity-obsessed pinhead (who got here by following a link), you may as well hit the BACK button right now, because this is a pure rant.Rant #1: Do you even care about women in prison unless it's Paris or Martha? Do you have a heart in your chest or a brain in your head? If so, what do you think they're there for? Would you please begin using them sometime, soon?Rant #2: Letting somebody out of the klink for medical care is called, in corrections-public health jargon, "compassionate release," and it happens approximately never, as in never, ever.

June 08, 2007

9/11 conspiracy theorists' FAQBlessed be, i hope this answers some of those squirrelly questions you guys have:Q: I'm throwing out a smorgasbord of utterly meritless claims & imperiously demanding that you laboriously rebutt each element of each claim. The burden of proof is on you, not me. As long as a shadow of doubt lingers, i'll keep at it.Yet, you're treating me as if i personally lack credibility. Aren't you stooping to ad hominem attack?A: Shut up, you total doofus.

June 06, 2007

Griffin v. Sisters of St. Francis, No. 06-3312, 7th Cir., June 6, 2007.Sister Anita to plaintiffs: No lap dances on the tractor!
Sometimes, it's not about the torture, or the wiretapping, or the fascist threat. Sometimes, it's just about the giggles.And the beefalo. And the nuns who raise the beefalo.And the dude who allegedly couldn't keep his mouth and his hands to himself, so the nuns allegedly had to let all the female interns go (you read that right). And the female intern who liked the dude.And whether a man can be discriminated against under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act.

June 03, 2007

The Ogre does what ogres can,Deeds quite impossible for Man,But one prize is beyond his reach:The Ogre cannot master speech.About a subjugated plain,Among it's desperate and slain,The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,While drivel gushes from his lips.

Previously, there was a proposalthat you close your eyes and fantasize that the El is a theme-park ride with pirates, and that moving achingly slowly is part of the fun. (At least I think that was it.)Here's a -- maybe -- better idea. (Thanks, CTA Tattler!) Some smart people have made it appallingly easy to spam your state legislators and the governor to death with desperate pleas for money for the CTA. There's almost no reason not to do it. (Yes, yes, I know, "these hands don't lobby politicians." Whatever -- the pirates await you, esp. in the tunnel between Division & Grand.)

June 02, 2007

This is not the lead in any of the COMA (Corporate Media) stories about the alleged terror plot to blow up JFK airport:
New York, June 3 -- A convicted drug dealer infiltrated an anti-American coffee klatch of four grumpy old men and recorded them saying angry things, authorities revealed today, unsealing an indictment against the men, three of whom have been arrested. The drug dealer received cash from the FBI, and will receive a reduced sentence.The COMA stories will not continue:Authorities accused members of the terror cell 4OMCK ("Four Old Men's Coffee Klatch") of using Google Earth to look at aerial photos of JFK airport, and of seeking (but not receiving) money and bombs from a Trinidadian group, Jamaat Al-Muslimeen, which is alleged to be a gang of common criminals.

June 01, 2007

The QDJ is wordless. Today, it is a sound.It is the refrain from "Isn't She Lovely" (Stevie Wonder, Songs in the Key of Life, 1976), played (with heart) on a little harmonica, by someone I glimpsed in the bustle of pedestrians on the south side of the Federal Plaza here, about 4:45 this afternoon.The sound pulled me out of the silent world you go to in loud public places and in intense private moments. It pulled me back into the other sounds of the street, back into contact.(Aside: Listen to Patti Smith, Twelve, 2007.)There's a lot of grousing on these pages. It's been a grim week in this world. The sound reminded me: Thank you. The I.D. social worker who tells me, "I'm too tired to laugh." The public defender who will be drunk again tonight. The prisoner advocate who will not be (again, tonight, and for fourteen years, three weeks, and two days, right?). The accountant ("don't call me that!") at the AIDS-service non-profit who is supposed to call in a few minutes (perhaps with a proposal to get drunk). Thank you. It's been a hell of a week, all the way around, for a lot of people. But there was a sound that pulled me back into the sunlight. May you all find something, too.

May 29, 2007

Please take ten minutes to care about something else tonight.What would Rosie want you to do?Darfur can be understood. And there's something you can do right now: Have an informed opinion.That is a picture of a refugee camp.

May 27, 2007

Remember how mad you were the last time you got queer-bashed and the cops arrested you? It happened today in Moscow.The city again banned a Pride march, for the second year running. Moscow LGBT activists (including organizer Nikolai Alexeyev) instead rallied to present a letter from members of the European Parliament to the notorious homophobe who runs the city.Guess who got slugged by neo-nazis? Remember how happy you were the first time you heard "I'm Too Sexy"?! Richard Fairbrass, the lead singer of Right Said Fred, gets thumped in Moscow.

Watch the video & turn it up. Then do what i'm being yelled at to do: GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND COME BARBECUE!

May 24, 2007

In recognition that the Democrats will not end the war, impeach the crooks, stop the torture, or unplug the wiretaps, the Official Registry of A-List Lingo (O.R.A.L.) announced today that "It's all good" will no longer be said.Further, persons continuing to use the demonstrably false hipster/poseur phrase may be ruthlessly mocked under the new O.R.A.L. rule.The new rule was adopted on the same day in which the Democratic leadership gave oodles & oodles of blood money to the president with no strings attached.

Dear Starry Decisive: My dog masticated a rawhide flip, and expectorated a bit of it, and it then congealed on her snout somewhat like a booger.Is the proper term for this Dog Drool Dog Bone (DoDrooDoBo) or Dog Bone Dog Drool (DobbyDro)?Starry Decisive replies: This is an example of the under-documented (but very well-known) phenomenon of Canine Snout Booger / Non-mucous / Not Otherwise Specified.As you can tell, we are here employing the Differential Diagnosis System of the Dog Drama Signification Manual (DDSM), so acronym usage would be inappropriate. The phenomenon is not Behavioral: Interaction with Humans; Behavioral: Interaction with Other Dogs; Behavioral: Interaction with Cats; Behavioral: Obedience; Behavioral: Other; nor is it Directly Food-Related; thus, it is coded on Axis VII as 05.018.crusty!