Today i was searching for some muscle jokes on google for some personal entertainment and i got tired with all these sites that had a small amount of them so i’ve decided to post some of them. If you want to impress the gym girls but only after you’ve finished your workout, you can try using some of those funny muscle jokes that can do the trick even if they’re corny or something.

A priest, a rabbi and a black guy walk into a bar.
An Olympic bar.

Did the zoo call you today?
…Why?
Cause they want their pythons back!

I almost got kicked out of school today. Got caught with a six pack and 2 guns

How many muscleheads does it take to change a light bulb?
It takes 3; one to change it and two others to stand around saying: “your shoulders are sick bro”

This guy walks into a bar… Cause the moron forgot to re-rack it. This really is kind of a funny muscle joke in some cases :D.

Dude call a plumber, cause my pipes are about to burst!

Anyone want some drinks cause i brought a six pack?! This muscle joke is also good if the drinks are some carnitine or energy ones

How do you wanna die? (point to one arm) Sudden death? (point to other) Or slow and painful!

Today a police officer stopped me on the street with his pistol drawn and I asked him what was the reason for the gun approach. He came near me, pulled at my sleeve and said, “Son, you got permits for those guns?”

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What was the reason for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s training on a desert island?
He wanted maximum isolation.

Take care of yourself and work out hard before using these muscle jokes (even if they’re not that amusing the girls will love them because you’re so pumped up). Btw you can also leave some comments with other muscle jokes found on the internet.