Good Dog Carl is the chilling cautionary tale about a neglectfulmother who abandons her baby–wearing nothing but a diaper and the top-half of a blue-striped, ruffle-necked clown suit–to the whims of a viciousRottweiler.

So-called ‘author’ Alexandra Day was apparently at a loss for words when she published this book. The scantily-clad baby’s brush with death is depicted almost entirely through illustrations, leaving more to the reader’s imagination than even ‘Good Night Gorilla.’Perfect for the Character Assassination Carousel!

Bad Dog Carl wants to regain his Alpha Status with Mother–who was HIS MISTRESS FIRST–by doing away with the pesky baby, but he is a wise, wise assassin and knows he must disguise the crime.

The Death Cannot Look Like a Mauling… But Carl has a fool-proof plan.

Just how will he disguise his crime? And how fool-proof is his plan, really? And just WHERE did mother go?

Let us begin.

(click the first image to start a slide show)

Bad Dog, Bad, Bad Dog

Where is she going?
Who will she see?
Her dealer? Her lover?
Nobody knows.
And Carl’s not telling.

“Wait, wait! You’re leaving me here, alone with that brute, half-dressed in nothing but a diaper and a clown suit?”

Take Another Spin on the Character Assassination Carousel

The problem is this: crayons cannot peacefully coexist in a house with this book. The book quite literally illustrates the miscreant behavior of drawing all over the walls and plants the seed of artistic glory in our little sponges’ heads. Of course they are going to model the behavior they see in books, as in life. They are children. That’s what they do.

You can get your ticket to ride at NinjaMomBlog.com and check out the HILARIOUS assassinations that have preceded Carl’s.

What children’s book (or grown up book, but NOT 50 Shades of Grey–that’s been done) would you satirize for the Carousel if you got a chance to ride?

Oh, girl, I’ve got one for you, but I’ve got to dig it out. This was hilarious, by the way, but I think you’ve been watching too much Family Guy. Oh, wait. Stewie plots to kill Lois, but Brian would love to kill Stewie at times. I’m sure they’ve been to fisticuffs. And Brian does want Lois all to himself – or he did before Seth MacFarlane killed him OFF. Hell, I just remembered that. It’s like I repressed it because it makes me so sad. Wait. Just discovered that he brought Brian back a few weeks later. I wouldn’t know. I stopped watching. Hear that, Seth? Pull that crap again…

Take a Wild Ride on the Character Assassination with Bad Dog Carl, and his new frenemy, Harold with his F’ing Purple Crayon. Click the post and scroll down to get the link to the latest hit in the Character Assassination Carousel: Miss Spartacus and that little graffiti fiend, Harold.

When I used to work in a library, I saw the Carl Dog book, but I never opened it up. My children were past picture books. Your take on the book is really funny! What was the author thinking? That mother would have a social services case worker in real life.

We agree with Carrie with a slight difference in networks & will wait to see the….ahem, (sorry Carrie, H.B.O Not Showtime) documentary or perhaps…can it be? A miniseries of the mauling dog & swimming baby!!! “Dog-eat-Dog-world?” Perhaps it will be a success?! Loved this post, had never heard of Character Assasination Carousel, Sharing now Kylie.

We love love love this book in our house. LOVE. When I taught, I used wordless picture books all the time because it helped kids use their imagination and inferring strategies. That being said, your version is very funny and I’ll think of it every time we pull out that book from now on. Also, this is a goldmine- I’m sure lots of wordless books could have similarly funny results- maybe for a drinking game at a party?

I’m so glad I never came across this book when my kids were young. Creepy! Love your interpretation of it. In fact, I think it’s ready for a slot on Showtime. Seems to have all the mature elements that network loves. 🙂

This was fantastic and freaking hysterical. I can’t imagine the amount of time and effort it took in creating this, so kudos just for *that*. Carl looks like he’s peeing on the baby’s head in First Things First. Or even more awkward, bad pedophile-dog Carl.

I spent hours on this. And many of them were wasted putting captions and my handle directly on the photos, which turned out to be too grainy/poor quality to see after moving them back and forth between too many apps. So I went back to this… the easy route. My husband very kindly took care of our son and graciously missed out on a date night for this. (Don’t worry, he was rewarded later.)