Stop holding events in Gotham City.

Seriously, why are so many events, concerts, parties, contests, meet and greets, conventions, business meetings, charity dinners and award shows held in Gotham? You’d think after the first couple times they’d learn, but no.

Yes, Gotham is a large city, so naturally, it’d be considered a good place to have an event, but the issue is, see, Gotham is a large city infested with criminals, mobsters, psychos and supervillains unlike the world has ever seen. Like, literally, Gotham is portrayed as the most crime infested slimepit in the world.

Every single time and event like this is held, inevitably, someone’s going to ruin it. Whether it be one of the supervillains straight outta Arkham, or somebody in attendance ticked off a mafia don, this party is going the fuck down.

Art show at the museum? Oops, looks like The Joker’s come, drawn mustaches on all the priceless paintings, smashed the centuries-old statues and fed the ancient dinosaur bones to his Hyenas!

County Fair? Oh shoot, Poison Ivy just showed up and sprayed all the produce with a toxin that brings them to life and gives them a taste for people!

Politician visiting? Whoopsie daisy, Two Face is here and he just kidnapped the guy and is flipping coins to see if he should shoot him or not!

Medical Science Fair? Oh poop, Mr. Freeze is there freezing shit up because someone there might have invented something that could cure his cryogenically frozen wife!

Actor at a convention? Uh oh, He apparently worked on something with Clayface back when he was human, so that’s enough of a reason for Clayface to want to kill him!

Seriously, next time a band offers to play in Gotham, send them somewhere else. Fuck, Metropolis is probably a dozen times safer and it’s regularly attacked by demigods.

Really, I think it’s gotten to the point where you might as well not run a business at ALL in Gotham. Literally every kind of establishment or career could lead to becoming an accessory in an evil plot or attempted murder. I’m talking beyond banks and jewelry stores. Florists and Farmers Markets are out. Probably shouldn’t run a bar or a casino. God help you if you’re a comedian or birthday clown. There’s an incredibly well done fan-comic making the rounds around Tumblr about how much it would suck to be a tailor in Gotham City. Not to mention Gotham’s warehouses tend to have a habit of blowing up.

Really, with the reputation it has, why does anything happen in Gotham at all anymore? For that matter, why does anyone even live there anymore? Sure, we got Batman, but that’s only because you can’t even go to the liquor store without the fucking Penguin showing up and starting a gunfight or even go to the movies without the goddamn Scarecrow spraying fear gas everywhere.

I mean, at LEAST hold the events and have your stores open during the day. For some reason, nothing ever happens in Gotham during the day. Only at night. Go figure.