Once upon a time there was an aging CNN news reader called Wolf. Each day he would read a prepared script, then huff and puff and call on his panel of experts for comment. Wolf fancied himself a journalist though some considered him a pompous ass. His corporate masters, on the other hand, were interested only in the revenue Wolf generated for CNN. Therefore, they paid close attention to the viewing habits of his fans, who, like sparrows at a bird feeder, gathered daily to watch The Wolf - trusty pad and pen in hand - assume a defiant newsman stance, stare solemnly into the camera lens and shout Breaking News! over the ever present din of CNN's pitter-pattering electronic NEWS Bongos.™

But time passed and The Wolf's loyal fans grew restless. They wearied of his colorless monotone. They tired of his expressionless stare. Many switched to reading blogs, others to drugs, and soon The Wolf's loyal fan base had dwindled to a precious few.

The loss of advertising revenue did not go unnoticed at CNN Corporate. Before long there were aspiring young Columbia School of Journalism graduates in spike heels seen milling outside the Director of Personnel's office. The Wolf noticed and was concerned. His concern soon turned to worry, and worry to fear. At night he tossed and turned, unable to sleep. "What will become of me," he asked repeatedly of the darkness. "Who will lead my people,... who will announce the Breaking News! to them?" But no answer came forth.

After hours of restless squirming, sleeping fitfully and soaked in perspiration, The Wolf was startled to full wakefulness by the sound of a monotone voice screaming TRUMP! He sat up blinking, listening intently, but the room was still. Exhausted, he lay back, gradually falling into a deep sleep and dreaming of better days. In the dream his anguish turned outward as though searching for its very own cause.

Suddenly, in a blinding flash of insight all was clear, palpable, the cause of his misery was TRUMP! He hated Trump. Yes, but Trump, ironically, was the key to his future. He slept soundly the rest of that night and awoke refreshed and inspired.

The Wolf planned his day carefully and after breakfast rushed to the CNN studio where he burst into the main lobby screaming TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP at the top of his lungs. His fellow journalists gathered round him asking, "What is it... what is Trump up to now... is he coming after us again,... what,... what?" They followed The Wolf to his office asking and begging all the way for more Trump news, anything they could twist into an eye catching story. But their pleas went largely unanswered. The Wolf sat expressionless in his simulated leather upholstered highchair behind a massive desk offering only an occasional monotone grunt of acknowledgment. The growing throng of journalists in The Wolf's office eventually drew the attention of CNN Corporate. "He's back!" they giggled. "Oh, happy day! Oh, happy day!"

But the joy at CNN was short lived and soon the crowds of journalists following The Wolf thinned and disappeared. So did his latest loyal viewers. He was left sitting in his office alone. "I must try again!" he screamed in total frustration. "Trump is a menace to all humanity - someone must alert the people - someone must proclaim the Breaking News! Without hesitation The Wolf stood, strode briskly from his office, and began marching up and down the halls of CNN yelling TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP as loud as his monotonal vocal cords would permit.

It was an inspiring sight that attracted much interest and concern. "Is it Trump again... is it?" the gathering throng asked. "What is he up to now? Is he attacking someone we know? What's he doing now?" they implored. But again The Wolf had no real answers and the crowd around him gradually drifted away. He was once again alone. And when he marched through the halls of CNN the following day screaming TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP no-one seemed to care or even notice.

Without The Wolf to shout Breaking News! to the masses, Trump quickly ascended to his rightful place as WTF. (World Tyrant; The First) Some time later, upon becoming Earth's first multi-trillionaire, Trump opined, "A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth."

Soon, when, his audience once again dwindled to but a few, he noticed the familiar click click click of high heels entering the corporate office. A woman in a revealing, low cut, blue dress emerged, taking a Kleenex from her bra and dabbing at the corners of her mouth, instantly he knew this was the end...curse you Megan Kelly

.Speaking of ration cards Ivan....I see the first Team Cube trading cards came out today..I collected all one of them!..I suspected that Captain Craptek had been injured while vacationing in his native Meh-he-co! (So no trading card... yet!).

Welcome back, Captain, after the long absence! Your first post upon return has hit the mark and is now on the Mother Page!

Comrade Director Leader Square,

A great honor indeed! My relatives and I strongly believe in the principles of cooperation and shared labor. We thank you most sincerely and look forward to building the best Cube at the lowest possible cost. I just hope the excitement doesn't cause a relapse! (If it does, should I submit the medical bills to you personally or through your lawyer?)

I've been in the wilderness for the past several months and have been feeding the squirrels from a bag of unsalted peanuts that I accidentally bought (I like the salted ones, and didn't check the label closely enough).

A particularly cute one kept climbing up my leg yesterday -- even as my cat eyed him for dinner.

Now, these were all ground squirrels, and I always heard that Craptek is a tree squirrel.

But maybe -- Craptek is actually a Golden Mantled Ground Squirrel (Callospermophilus lateralis) and he's been up in the wilderness with me?

Good thing my cat caught and ate that rabbit instead -- or Craptek might have been gone for good!

I've been in the wilderness for the past several months and have been feeding the squirrels from a bag of unsalted peanuts that I accidentally bought (I like the salted ones, and didn't check the label closely enough).

A particularly cute one kept climbing up my leg yesterday -- even as my cat eyed him for dinner.

Now, these were all ground squirrels, and I always heard that Craptek is a tree squirrel.

But maybe -- Craptek is actually a Golden Mantled Ground Squirrel (Callospermophilus lateralis) and he's been up in the wilderness with me?

Good thing my cat caught and ate that rabbit instead -- or Craptek might have been gone for good!

Comrade Lysenkomann,

An impostor - pretender. If you need more proof ask yourself this question; Would the real Craptek run up my leg? Not likely! It's Russian hacking. Nothing more.

.You know Mikhail, squirrels used to be a big part of daily activities..Here is my grandma 'Booty' Putout - a 1940s circus performer. As you can see she is using two squirrels as a means of balance enhancement - as did many of the high wire performers. And before I have to hear a load of whining from you animal rights folks (Craptek)... each squirrel had a 'safety' chain wrapped around their neck to stop them from falling if grandma had to let go of them to grab the wire during a fall. You can see the chains!.By the way - grandma had one of the first 'Kardashian class' buttocks... a low and dense center of gravity perfect for both of her professions!.

Well... I don't know you so I can't be sure. But Golden Mantled Ground Squirrels run up people's legs all the time. They're rather bold little critters... and so cute that people can't help feeding them. Because they look more like chipmunks than squirrels... indeed, most city folk think they ARE chipmunks.

I never thought you were one of them, but it did seem interesting that we were both gone at the same time, and I was entertaining squirrels. While they "entertained" my cat!

.You know Mikhail, squirrels used to be a big part of daily activities..Here is my grandma 'Booty' Putout - a 1940s circus performer. As you can see she is using two squirrels as a means of balance enhancement - as did many of the high wire performers. And before I have to hear a load of whining from you animal rights folks (Craptek)... each squirrel had a 'safety' chain wrapped around their neck to stop them from falling if grandma had to let go of them to grab the wire during a fall. You can see the chains!.By the way - grandma had one of the first 'Kardashian class' buttocks... a low and dense center of gravity perfect for both of her professions!.

... Take what you like ...yummy stuff, as dessert after the kasha bowl - thanks, Craptek!

So, I would take a bajgiel (aka Beigel aka bagel, primordially beygl = בײגל).(here you go, two languages added - Polish and Yiddish.)

(the historic path of beygl and its naming was Galician Yiddish → Polish → German → West)(Ukrainians, Belorussians, and Comrades Russkies know it as бейгл/бейгель = beygl/beygyel)(and Amiland's bagels, name included, came here around 1900 with Polish Jews, via NYC).

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Ex-president Obama declares Irma "Hurricane of Peace," urges not to jump to conclusions and succumb to stormophobia

CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes

ISIS claims responsibility for a total solar eclipse over the lands of American crusaders and nonbelievers

When asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map was

CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry

Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'

BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.

DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'

Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago

Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise