Sunday, July 24, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

JET: OK, now that we've had a breather, where to begin? The antidote? Hand it over.

NINJA: Really? Just like that?

JET: I'll give you ten cookies for it.

NINJA: Show me the cookies first.

JET: I don't have them with me, they're safe in a---

NINJA: I'm joking. I like cookies but it's not an addition.

JET: Then why did Braxley's cookies make you tell us everything?

NINJA: Tell you everything? Don't you remember? I just used my "answer" as cover to escape!

JET: So you did. But you stabbed yourself with your katana. You need the antidote as much as I do.

NINJA: Already drank some on the chase over here, maybe?

JET: No you didn't, I would have seen that.

NINJA: Like when you saw me change to a new, clean shirt?

JET: Eh, it's probably not a proper antidote anyway. You're a ninja. You don't just go around antidote-ing people.

NINJA: It's marked with an "A." "A" for "Antidote."

JET: Just as easy to be "A" for "Arsenic" or "A" for "Affliction" or "A" for the first in a series of alphabetically labeled bottles.

NINJA: Then why do you want it?

JET: Maybe I'm just toying with you. Or maybe... I switched the vials while we were running.

NINJA: Unlikely. Not that I assume your skills not up to the task, but simply because I doubt you have an identical container of this size and shape, filled with the right color liquid and engraved with an "A."

JET: Maybe I'm just that crazy prepared.

NINJA: Maybe you are.

JET: And how about this: maybe I'm not poisoned. Maybe that was a bluff.

NINJA: You saw what happened to that other pirate right? Foaming green at the mouth, turning a brilliant shade of merlot?

JET: Different weapon. He was hit with thrown stuff, not the katana.

NINJA: I stabbed you with a kunai, not the katana.

JET: Wh-- oh. Right. Well then why am I not purple and foamy?

NINJA: Less of a dose. He took three heavy doses against your one.

JET: But I wasn't the target. McBeard was.

NINJA: Oh? Having a case of the clevers?

JET: He's a big, beefy guy. If the poison hasn't stopped me yet, it would do even less to him.

NINJA: And?

JET: So why do it? Couldn't be a normal assassination. And if it wasn't a straight up assassination, what was it?

NINJA: You tell me, clever girl. But remember one little thing. I'll tell you this: you are poisoned. And time is ticking past. And, just between you and me, this is probably the most fun I've had in years.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

After continually alternating A and B (or maybe entering a CHEAT CODE) you have successfully pursued the NINJA to the top of a PIRATE SKYSCRAPARR, possibly the tallest BUILDING on CORSAIR ISLE. The NINJA rushes to the EDGE and turns around to face you, holding a BOTTLE over the VERY LONG DROP. Holy CRAP, that was a long CHASE.

NINJA: Holy (huff) crap you are good at (puff) le parkour.

JET: You're not (huff) bad (puff) yourself.

NINJA: You sure (huff) you're not a (puff) ninja?

JET: Pretty sure (whuff!).

NINJA: Right. (huff) I assume you want (whuff!) the antidote?

JET: Yeah. (huff) Yeah, hand it over or (puff) I stab you (huff) or something... stabby.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

NINJA: In the ninja dojo, I learned many lessons I would keep with me for the rest of my life. I learned the value of honor. The value of clan. The value of duty. I learned how to kill with knives, swords, bombs and double-barreled plasma shotguns. Additionally, I learned two very important tricks to use against the weak-minded. First, how to use a visual aid to distract people while you swap yourself out for a wooden dummy.

NINJA (VOICE-OVER): Second, I learned how to use slow-acting poisons on every single weapon I use.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

BRAXLEY comes back bearing two different LAMPS. Apparently, your ORDERS were a tad VAGUE. You tell him to hold on to the OLD-TIMEY GENIE LAMP YOU MIGHT FIND A GENIE IN and to set up the FLOOR LAMP by the dying (but oddly patient) NINJA. You explain that you will be playing the role of BAD COP, while BRAXLEY is to attempt to be GOOD COP.

As he sets up the proper LAMP for INTERROGATION, BRAXLEY asks if you have any more last minute instructions. Like... specific questions. Or really, anything in particular to... um... interrogate the NINJAabout.