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I came across an example of the difference just the other day. My boyfriend and I (both very new to poly) were discussing our surprise at the lack of jealousy we'd been feeling. He said that the closest he'd come was when he and his wife had been visiting one of her OSOs and he'd been left sitting in the spa while everyone else (his wife, her OSO and the OSO's wife) went off to have a threesome. He was in no way jealous of someone having a threesome with his wife, but he was envious of the fact that he didn't get to have a threesome with anyone.

That would so not work for me. I would feel envious too; but I would also feel rudely rejected. If I'm invited to someone's house to hang out in the hot tub, and I got left alone so everyone could go have sex, I'd be pissed.

__________________
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)

I was pissed on his behalf when he told me, but wasn't sure how—or if—to express it. His wife doesn't strike me as the thoughtless type and he seemed more amused by it than anything else, so I figure there's probably more to the story.