I talk honestly and openly about my experiences with mental illness, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome through the lens of feminism, fat acceptance and process theology. I also do recipe and book reviews. My mission is to spread the message that hope is always real for a better life, despite living in a world that is often very harsh.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Psalm 32

Blessed are the honestAnd blessed are those that sinAnd yet are secure in their forgiveness.

But be wary of silence!When I was not humble,I could not see Your face,Because my head was bowed in shame.But when I lifted my headAnd admitted my sins,I felt washed anew in Yourloving presence.I knew that Audre Lorde was right,For I was not protected by my silence-Ony through humble honesty am ITruly freed from bondage.

I follow The Great Forgiver willingly-I am not like a dog who must be lead upon a leash.Rather, I have a new leash on life!I only want to follow Godde,Because Godde is the greatest freedom giver.

If I hide myself in GoddeThen I will still know pain,But I will know a greater joyAnd I will never be silent again.*****************************What do you think? Do you think the pun is too cheesy? To compare it to the original, go here.If you don't know who Audre Lorde is, she was a wonderfully gifted poet and activist, who is famous for sayng, "Your silence will not protect you." It's true.

Other news: I went to my doctor today and he is back to thinking that I have fibromyalgia. I find it frustrating to have my diagnosis change so much, although I suppose it shouldn't, since arithritis and fibro are treated the same way. I was given a shot of cortizone to help with the pain. I hope that it helps me have a better day than I did today, because I was in so much knee pain today that I had to cut my time at my job short today. Certainly following Godde does not erase physical pain, but I do find that it helps with the emotional.

I remember I used to know a girl when I was a freshman at Berry College who had a sign on her door that had a picture of a frowny face under the words, "Before God" and a smiley face under the words "With God." The sign pissed me off, because it spoke of a faith that was too simple for me. At the time, I was really in the throes of schizoaffective disorder, which includes depression as one of its symptoms, so that sign to me, was dishonest. Whether one is "with God" or not, they will still have moments of great pain. I also believe that Godde will give us moments of joy and peace to sustain us through those difficult times. I hope that the lives of my readers are filled with joy and peace, but if not, remember that your time of trial will pass, for change is one of the few constants in this life. That is my truth.

4 comments:

Actually, I think that sign "with God" means SO many things. It is actually really deep. It means: You're trusting yourself to God. You are WITH Him in His thoughts and desires and intentions. You can SEE and feel His presence, and you know that you are loved by Him. When you are WITH Him like that, you're gonna feel peace. Just like you are your fiber...uh, I forgot the spelling.Anyway...I hope you enjoy that peace inside of you, despite the pain. *hugs*

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About Me

I'm a fierce smashing-the-patriarchy Christian feminist spreading the word that hope is real for people with mental health and chronic pain challenges. I do NAMI In Our Own Voice presentations, endorse Dialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) and baking cupcakes. I am in recovery from borderline personality disorder, an eating disorder and bipolar II. I work on managing my anxiety. I consider myself living in recovery, because mental illness and chronic pain no longer control my life.
If you would like me to speak to your organization about living in recovery from mental illness, please email me.