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How To Live A More Fulfilling Life

So far you were on a rollercoaster of life, with its ups and downs. But now you feel like the ride has stopped, without a reason and isn’t moving forward. Stuck in a rut as they say.

Nothing seems to be working for you. Things are happening only to those around you: X got a promotion; Y is off to the US; Z has just won the million dollar jackpot. And though you’re happy for them, you wish for the same kind of things to happen to you. You’re frustrated and clueless at this point and don’t know what to do to turn around the situation. You don’t know what’s wrong. You have a steady job, loving friends, a girlfriend or a wife, a great family, but all of this isn’t making you feel any better. There’s a reason for that. What you’re not doing is appreciating what you have going on. What you’re not realising is that only you have the power to turn your life around. That you have the power to live a happy and fulfilled life. Here’s a starting point:

Focus on yourself, not others

Think of what you have and not of what you don’t have. William Faulkner was virtually unknown till he was 52. But that didn’t stop him from writing. If he had looked at some of the other famous writers around him and thought, ‘Gee, these guys are way ahead of me. I might as well stop trying,’ he wouldn’t be one of the most respected authors ever. So continue doing what you’re doing and become good at that. Success and adulation will follow. Stop worrying about what everyone is doing.

Don’t be an over-analyser

Don’t make things complicated. Recently on a reality show for singers, a leading playback singer said to a participant, “I don’t know why this generation thinks the more complex they make a song, the more applause they will get. It isn’t so. If it’s a simple song, sing it in a simple manner.” Similarly, if someone asks you out, don’t start thinking about whether she will be the one you will marry, where you would go for your honeymoon, what kind of fights you will have, how many kids you will have. Instead, just go on the date and be in the moment. Try and keep things clutter free as much as possible. Don’t plan every second of your life. Just go with the flow sometimes. It’s more fun.

Find ways to keep stress away

If you go back to your passion every time you feel stressed, you won’t feel the pinch any longer. Whatever it is: dance, music, cooking, clubbing, writing, just find your passion and go to it when you’re feeling low or stressed. Take to meditation, or go and spend a few days amidst nature. Look at birds, flowers, animals. They perk you up instantly. Take long, deep breaths. Listen to relaxing music. Take a walk. Exercise. Climb stairs. Read a book. Do whatever it takes to get out of your blues.

There is no bigger joy than giving

Then be it your time or money or any other resources you can spare. Giving to others is highly satisfying. It could be anything, as little as helping your dad in the garden, making tea for your mum, running over to the chemist to buy medicines for your grandpa, teaching underprivileged kids, helping a disabled person cross the street. Anything that is selfless and done with no ulterior motive will give you immense joy and make your life seem happier and worth living.

Even little things matter

We are often moving about as mechanical beings and don’t stop to appreciate the things that go right for us on a daily basis. A good night’s sleep; hot cup of tea; the newspaper arriving on time; our favourite sitcom; finding the right clothes to wear to work; finding a great parking spot; the sun coming up every morning. You get the drift. So seek out these little joys and cherish them. Focus on things that are going right for you. When you feel you’re down, smile to yourself, and you will trick your mind into believing everything is fine.

Forgive yourself

We have all done things in the past that we regret. But we need to let go. Let go of the past wrongs, let go of those old hurts. We need to take our baggage off our heads and hearts and put it down. Just make it a point that you learn from those mistakes and everything will be just fine. And use those lessons to make your present better.

Be open to new things

Don’t turn down things before you give them a shot. Allow yourself to look beyond what is ‘normal’ in your eyes. Allow yourself the freedom to imagine. Don’t box yourself into a routine. Don’t restrict yourself in a 9-5 drill. Break the boundaries. Go bungee jumping or white water river rafting, or climb a mountain. Feel alive. Feel adrenaline coursing through your body. Embrace that rush. Learn a new language, challenge yourself. Constantly do things that take you out of your comfort zone, like getting up on stage in a karaoke bar and belting a song. It’s fine if it doesn’t go well. Laugh about it and move on. Big frigging deal. Don’t dismiss new opportunities because you’re too scared or think it is implausible. Players who play safe are rarely successful.

Joke, laugh, jump

Don’t be too serious in life. That doesn’t get you so far. Laugh and be merry. Have a sense of humour about things. It will not only make you feel better, it will also improve the quality of your life and your relationships with others.