Getting Shot For Jesus (With A Paintball Gun)

We had a promotion for our bus kids a in May 09, which was if the kids brought a certain number of visitors then (the bus captain) & my workers and driver all got 5 shots at another worker, Jamie. Well….when it was my turn, I kinda took a few more shots than agreed, but hey….I’M THE BUS CAPTAIN!!!

Battlewounds? With your shirt on? Take it off mate… we all know you put the photo up for all those single ladies out there. And there is no point playing paintball unless you got the welts to prove it.

More good clean Christian entertainment.
-perfect your shooting skills
-humiliate someone in authority
-rules were made to be broken (5 shots? “pfft, who cares… I’m the Bus Captain!”)
-head shots are the most entertaining
-strategic placement of praying hands (but we need another tenor in the choir!)

Your point about “rules were made to be broken” is a very valid one. The rules are for the peons in the IFB, I guess, but if you’re IMPORTANT (the pastor, the head deacon, the bus captain, whatever), then you get to ignore the rules. That attitude bugs me. It’s so against the Bible that says we are all members of one body together, none more important than the other.

That has been one of those things that has gotten under my skin about the IFB. There is a definite class/caste system in place. I remember vividly a conversation that was taking place one time and I was told that I was couldn’t be part of it because I was not a pastor. If I hadn’t been so drunk on the kool-aide it should have been not only a flag but it should have greatly offended me. Looking back on that incident now I am tremendously offended. I am offended that there are folks in the positions of church leadership who hold to this arrogant and biblically ignorant view of the church.

I am convinced this is one of the greatest failures of the visible church today is this idea of class/caste churchy-anity. Ephesians 4 is not being followed and the priesthood of believers are not being taught and prepared to carry out the ministry of the church. In some cases the leadership is woefully unprepared themselves and in other cases the leadership is jealous or scared of losing their esteemed position if others are prepared to minister to the local assembly of believers. So in order to perpetuate the office of Pastor they must keep the sheep dependent on the input from the pastor.

whoa! …obviously that was a hot button issue for me. I didn’t mean to write an epistle.

In addition, this promotion to get numbers doesn’t have much of a basis in Scripture, unless I missed the account of Apollos swallowing goldfish if Corinth broke a certain number in attendance… (then Paul bested him by bringing a dunking booth and letting the bus kids to try to sink him).

That what my momma always told me too. That and something about falling out of the Stupid tree and hitting every branch on the way down…. and being beat with a stupid stick… and something about ignorance being curable but stupid going clear to the bone.
eh-hem, george? yeah don
don’t you think that’s enough? wha.. oh, yeah… gotcha… “better to appear stupid than to speak and remove all doubt.”
Y-e-a-h… (remember you are speaking for both of us… ok?)o-k

this is, of course nothing unique to fundamentalists, but as a mother and an aunt….it makes me crazy. Save it for the Jackass guys, they learned how to capitalize on this stuff and are a lot more creative.
Rant over.

I’ve never been to a paintball range but I had a boss once who compared getting hit with a paintball to getting hit with a marble shot out of a potato gun. Considering that, what man wouldn’t cover himself?

I played paintball once, in a 1 on 1 setting. Got shot close range (~15 feet). I was wearing jeans and still had a red welt on my thigh for almost two weeks. I just don’t see the fun of voluntarily inflicting pain on myself so I’ve never had a desire to play it further.

He’s wearing a dirt bike helmet I think, right? The neck shot was a dangerous/bad idea, but welts are pretty hilarious horse play in my book. If I were getting shot, I’d be sore for a while, but think that fun was worth it. Who has a cup sitting around? Could probably borrow one from a teenager on a sports team, but I don’t know any adults that have cups, do they?

I’m astounded that he’s throwing around the title of “Bus Captain” like it’s some badge of honor that is worthy of respect. Sounds like that would be along the lines of bragging, “I’m the HALL MONITOR!!” In the REAL world (outside of the IFB) I promise, nobody cares that you’re the bus captain!