Oh no, 8 cm isn’t private at all

The rule from these assholes is that you’re not allowed to ask them about their personal lives. You’re not allowed to ask them if they’re dating X or if they broke up with Y. Because it’s private, they say. And it’s insulting to be talking about their private relationships when they’re trying to promote their work. And don’t take pictures of them when they’re not working because that means we’re intruding. And the fans, oh those loyal fans, they get indignant about it too -- the media sucks, the media is invasive, the paparazzi are scum!

Sure.

But that doesn’t seem to apply when they want to discuss amniotic fluid and vaginal dilation -- Motherhood, in other words, the greatest joy a woman will ever have, and now a Hollywood career move, and therefore not really that personal?

What could be more personal than giving birth to your child, and your connection to your child?

Here’s Megan Fox on her labour, as told to Access Hollywood. So, you know, only a national television show:

“I was screaming for an epidural when [Brian] was driving me to the hospital because my water broke on its own and immediately — it was level orange pain alert. It hurts so bad. It was so intense. And I thought I was gonna be really tough and make it, I was going to labor to eight centimeters … but the first contraction I got was horrific!”

Are we so numb to it these days because we’re so inundated by these details about pushing and placentas and whatever else women are so happy to drop into a conversation about their babies that we no longer consider how intimate this kind of information actually is? Because essentially she just talked about STRETCHING HER VAGINA to 8cm.

But try to get her to talk about whether or not she and Shia LaBeouf had sex and you’ll be thrown out of the room.

Click here to learn more about what it was like when Megan Fox gave birth to her baby.