The Mystic Stayback can no longer use blue for his color as it is friggin' impossible to scroll down and read the questions delivered to The Mystic Stayback...

Jaybird, ah Jaybird - If you are "backed up" on the parkway in the wintertime...you cannot fart at all.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNGGG!!!

Tacoma - So the Kumquats don't get jealous.

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGGG!!!!

Skwerl - AAAAHHHHH yes...Rental Monkey...The Mystic Stayback pays the local fraternity 20 bucks a day...the Mystic Stayback has also updated all his shots as the lab at the local college seems to be missing a primate.

THE Mystic Stayback say...he who questions THE Mystic Stayback's time management skills doth not realize the greater good THE Mystic Stayback can provide by answering the questions of those who are lost souls.

(Wife's at work...kids are currently dumping out the toys on the living room floor )

Why, when at a little league baseball game ( or any other situation where there may be objects falling from the sky) do folks look up when someone yells DUCK! , or the inverse, people duck their heads down when someone yells HEADS UP ! ?

The Mystic Stayback say...if someone yells "DUCKHEAD" or any other variation of the word at a sporting event, it usually means The Mystic Stayback is in their line of sight to the playing surface and he will soon be doused with an alcoholic beverage.

‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

‎"The education of a firefighter and the continued education of a firefighter is what makes "real" firefighters. Continuous skill development is the core of progressive firefighting. We learn by doing and doing it again and again, both on the training ground and the fireground."
Lt. Ray McCormack, FDNY

^^^^ SPECIAL NOTE ^^^^ The Mystic Stayback had a few (off-duty) beers late last night and feels about as good as Rental Monkey. Ugh.

ullrichk - The Mystic Stayback is not a financial institution and is not insured by the FDIC...although I do give out free lollipops.

Gonz - AHHHH!!! A very deep question...In most cases when someone is pointing at the Mystic Stayback's crotch, the point is followed by snickers and giggles. The Mystic Stayback didn't get much action in college which is still being worked out in intense therapy sessions.
***Rental Monkey points and laughs***

***SNAP***

KKKWWWAAAANNNGGGG!!!

Rookie - If I were me and you were you I would be here and you would be there, but since we are not, then I am still here and you there UNLESS it's the first Monday after Labor Day, then I would not be wearing white.

E229Lt - The Mystic Stayback's advice to you is to trade wife for giraffe, but remember this...size does not matter.

FWDBuff - The Mystic Stayback enjoys having his genitalia attached to his body, thus The Mystic Stayback will refrain from descibing the female mind at this juncture. (LOL...Iron City is indeed very bad beer.)

Oprah - The Mystic Stayback will have to send you a case of Iron City.