Thomson

It’s a heck of a way to run a pre-election campaign. On the eve of an expected election, politicians usually spend their time playing up good news, downplaying the bad, shaking hands and kissing babies.

Julie: I will never be the same woman I was before

Photograph by: Thandi Fletcher
, Calgary Herald

In December 2010 I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma. At the time I was a 38-year-old wife and mom to three young boys. As anyone knows who has been in that place – your world turns upside down. And will never be the same again.

That news followed quickly with scans, oncology visits, and chemo “school”. I was young and they were going to throw everything at me to fight it. Eight rounds of chemo, 25 radiation treatments and a mastectomy in between those two.

I did get to keep my breast throughout the six months of chemo, neoadjuvant is the term. So I did have ample time to research what my options would be when it came time for the mastectomy and lymph node removal.

All my initial research was showing that immediate reconstruction was not recommended for anyone who had to follow up with radiation.

I met several road blocks along the way – my oncology team, my general surgeon, my own GP. All recommended that I wait at least a year, allowing radiation side effects to heal and my body to recover from everything.

A year without a breast? I think that was one of my worst moments following the initial diagnosis. Not the chemo side effects, the wig shopping, the fatigue. But the fact that they expected me to live at least a year without a breast.

In addition, I had learned that without immediate reconstruction, the wait for delayed reconstruction was actually more like two years. Or more.

This to me was devastating in several ways. Thankfully, I am blessed with a phenomenal plastic surgeon who presented me with an option for immediate reconstruction with a tissue expander. It wasn’t going to be without risks and we went in with eyes wide open that the radiation may cause complications. However I knew that if I could wake up from that surgery with a breast there, that was absolutely my best decision.

The surgery itself went well, but as a person who had really never been a patient in a hospital except for the birth of my boys, this was an eye opener. The support staff was definitely not trained to deal with a young woman who just had a mastectomy and reconstruction.

I got through that and the radiation only to have a very serious infection set in just after the completion of my radiation. Likely a combination of different factors but what I had attempted was fairly new to a lot of my oncology team and I do feel that my radiation was unique because of the tissue expander.

Had I been at a centre where this occurs on a regular basis with a team familiar with how to handle radiation after immediate reconstruction, I don’t think I would be where I am today. Don’t get me wrong – the bottom line was always getting the cancer. But it came at a very big cost to me, my body and my self-image.

So in the end, the infection took everything away that we had attempted to reconstruct.

It’s been another year since then and I have spent more time researching different options. I have seen what New Orleans has to offer after consulting the doctors there. It is a remarkable facility. We could have that here. Women should not have to travel across the border due to lengthy wait times or in search of other surgical options.

Thankfully, my plastic surgeon here has enough patience, compassion and skill to see me to the end of this process. He will attempt to restore some of what has been taken from me.

I will never be the same woman I was before. I don’t look anything like I did before and I certainly never will feel the same way about my body. This a personal decision that every woman needs to make on their own and reconstruction isn’t for everyone.

Some women wear those scars proudly. Some can’t, like me – and need reconstruction in the hopes of moving forward and putting this behind them. It will be two years this December and I am still trying to put myself back together, physically and emotionally.

I know some of my family and friends can’t wrap their head around why I want to endure a lengthy surgery and a long, painful recovery after just starting to feel like myself again. Especially when in their eyes and to people who don’t know me, I look great just as I am. Except I don’t. Not to me. Every day when I look in the mirror.

I am so grateful that I am still here for my boys and my husband. In a perfect world, no one would have to go through what I had to. My heart still breaks a little bit every time I think of the day we told the boys “mom has cancer”. Until the day comes when that no longer is a reality, my hope for every woman going through this is shorter wait times for delayed reconstruction and multiple reconstruction options at the time of mastectomy.

In addition, we need one facility in our surrounding area to streamline all care. General surgeons, plastic surgeons, oncologists, nurses, psychologists and other support staff specifically trained in breast cancer and dedicated to guiding women through this very scary and life-altering process.