The gentleman above is going to play the role of the young FBI agent trying to infiltrate a gang of extreme sports-loving criminals, because apparently the original Point Break wasn’t good enough to leave alone, and the entire Fast and Furious franchise hadn’t done the job already as well. The actor’s name is Luke Bracey, and according to Deadline, he’s the new face of the Warner Bros. remake of the 1991 film directed by Kathryn Bigelow. Bracey will star opposite Gerard Butler, who will play the role of Bodhi that was already played perfectly by the late Patrick Swayze, while actual human and not a cell phone model Ericson Core is still directing a screenplay by Kurt Wimmer, who looks like a shampoo commercial model.

Bracey’s most recent credits include Cobra Commander in GI Joe: Retaliation or “The One With Very Little C-Tates” and the TV movie Westside, which was directed by McG. But if I know anything about you Drunkards after several years of bringing you this kind of news drenched in disbelief and cynicism, you’ll most likely remember Bracey from his role as Riley in the Selena Gomez film Monte Carlo. After all, it was the movie that sparked rumors of the “strapping, young Aussie fellow” and Gomez dating, and there’s no way we could miss that kind of HOTT GOSS.

So, an hour of origin before he even hits the water, half hour of relationship angst, maybe they’ll give the love interest a kid that may be Bohdi’s that they can bring in to ramp up the melodrama and keep the movie from getting dangerously close to fun.

I caught it in SF a few years back & it is fucking hilarious. They basically recruit an audience member to play Keanu’s role & a fake Kathryn Bigelow feeds him his lines off of cue cards. (I was runner-up for the role.) Then they put him into a wetsuit & douse him (& the audience) repeatedly with water while pumping audience members full of as much beer as they can drink. It’s a loosely controlled riot, riotously funny, & totally interactive. Catch it if you can.