All Jesus Datolo — the Argentinian soccer player — wanted to do was show off his package for the gays in a magazine called Romeo Mag. Then the bosses at the Italian team he plays at got wind, and are now threatening sanctions against him. BECAUSE IT WAS A GAY MAGAZINE. What type of sanctions? Dunno. Monetary fines? Temporary suspension? Taking him out back, stripping him down in front of the team, and whipping him until he apologizes?

Which is ridiculous, because the only thing Datolo demands criticism for is wearing ill-fitting briefs.