How long can one push themselves forwards against the improbable, the impossible? I have been inspired recently by an article from Chris Hedges that puts my own problems into perspective. I have been pushing myself up against personal barriers of depression and anxiety for what I believed to be a true and worthy cause: to make people laugh and perhaps to make them think. The people mentioned in this article have been playing for far greater stakes and with no hope of recognition and their achievements dwarf the greatest impact I could hope to make in my life.

I am privileged - being a comfortably middle class white male is one of the easier rides you can get in this crazy theme park we're all living. If only I didn't have so much to PROVE because of it. I have felt the need, the desire to be the voice of reason, but this is ultimately an appeal to my ego more than anything more meaningful or far-reaching.

We should all try to be the voice of reason as much as we can in our daily lives - in line with our intuition, in line with our empathy.

So I have put my ego in the back seat for the moment, until it learns to behave itself. The focus of this blog will now be about sharing and trying to lead by example. This means I will be sharing posts over social media, instead of hiding away for fear of judgement. I will try to develop an openness and live out my values through the avenues of expression I have available to me.

This post may be more for me than for you, I admit. An internal struggle is not compelling for others to read, but the fruits of this new mindset will hopefully be palatable for others in future.

I have despaired recently about the way humanity has been heading, and I must admit I lost hope. I looked around me at the people I was interacting with daily and felt alone in the impact I was feeling from the endless propaganda, brainwashing and manufactured consent for endless war in our names. Everywhere I looked I just saw slaves trapped by a corrupt centralised economic system that robs us daily of what little "we the people" have been allowed to keep hold of - and everywhere I saw people revelling in their own slavery. The only avenue I felt I had to speak out against it seemed to be blocked by great personal hurdles.

Letting myself find different, more grounded routes to fulfilment seems to give a greater sense of well-being. Instead of trying to go it alone I am realising how deep the current need is for us to stick together, settle our differences and make whatever token effort we can to build a future that is free of this corruption. We need to accept our faults and wear them on our sleeves, using them as fuel to collaborate and edge towards the vision of a future that the whole planet can live with, not just an elite few.