The Charge

Please use the word "hamburgertime" when speaking to us.

Opening Statement

When we last left Dethklok, things had taken a turn for the worse for the
most metal band in the history of metal. Mordhaus, their humble estate in the
sky, is attacked during their CD release party and Offdensen, the world's
greatest manager, has been killed. Major global changes are taking place,
however, changes that could brutally alter the course of history. How will
Nathan, Skwisgaar, Murderface, Toki, and Pickles handle it all without their
trusted manager? More importantly, will they get some much needed hot tub
time?

Facts of the Case

The ten episodes of Metalocalypse: Season 3 arrive on a single Blu-ray
disc from Comedy Central.

• Renovationklok With Offdensen out of the picture, the boys are
free to spend their money how they see fit. Without budgeting skills, though,
their billions quickly disappear. Just as a record exec is about to exploit
their bad fortune, an old friend shows back up to save the day.

• TributeKlok The stupid comments that Murderface makes to the
press are killing their public relations. To improve their image, they ease
their worldwide ban on Dethklok tribute bands. Toki, all of a sudden, starts
slipping away mysteriously to "astronaut practice."

• Dethhealth After a near-death experience at a pro-neutering
concert, Dethklok goes to the doctor for a checkup. Meanwhile, Toki adopts a
kitten he saved at the show.

• Dethmas Murderface tries to ruin Christmas for everybody by
airing his very own holiday special. It gets worse when the band's moms show up
en masse for a visit, determined to get wasted, and Toki discovers Dr. Rockso,
the rock and roll clown, working as Santa at the mall.

• Fertilityklok Toki's tired of all the groupies so, for his
birthday, he signs up with a dating service. Murderface makes a losing bet with
Skwisgaar that he can sleep with more women than the Swedish ax-wielding
Casanova.

• Deathsiduals Toki and Murderface take the rest of Dethklok to
court over songwriting residuals, causing a rift in the band. They try to figure
out a way to contribute to the writing process, letting their complete lack of
talent shine through.

• Fatherklok A string of paternity lawsuits causes Skwisgaar to
consider the fact that he never met his father. He quits the band and returns to
Sweden to locate him, but finds out more than he needed to know about his mother
instead.

• Rehabklok A disastrous DUI (Drumming Under the Influence)
causes the band to send Pickles into rehab. He comes out clean and sober, but
not a lot of fun, and he gets kicked out of the band. The band gets in danger,
though, and only Pickles, with the help of alcohol, can save the day.

• Dethzazz Once the high-rolling lead singer of Zazz
Blammymatazz, Dr. Rockso, the rock and roll clown, is now the worst he's ever
been. Toki, in his eternal quest to help the clown, signs Zazz Blammymatazz to
play a reunion concert. Prospects don't look great for Toki's latest business
venture.

• Doublebookedklok After Offdensen sets up a huge concert in
Israel, the band, upset that their manager doesn't have time for them, books
their own gig with Syria, on the same day. The conflict threatens an
international incident, and Offdensen's only option is to come up with the most
amazing, brutal metal compromise of all time.

The Evidence

The big change in this season of Metalocalypse is the episode length.
Up from the twelve or so minutes of the first two seasons, the increased time is
a mixed bag. At fifteen minutes, including commercials, Brendon Small's
brilliant show left viewers wanting more with a simple formula. Start with a
throwaway joke, move to the awesome title sequence, lay down five minutes of
plot, and finish with a metal track. Everything is basically the same, except
the plot length is doubled and the show often suffers because of it. It's still
some of my favorite programming on television, but a few of the episodes feel a
little bloated.

It's not that bad; the show's consistently funny and the extra time allows
more space for music and random nuttiness. Between death, addiction, fatherhood,
and pet ownership; Dethklok runs the gambit of emotions this season, letting us
really get deep into the hearts of our metal friends. No…just kidding;
it's still mostly sex jokes and drinking, punctuated by hot guitar solos and
crushing drums. What more could you want out of the world's most successful
metal band. It's a great show, even if the added length isn't as good as I'd
hoped.

There aren't a lot of bells and whistles on Cartoon Network's Blu-ray disc
of Metalocalypse: Season 3, but everything in the package is good. The
ten episodes are uncensored, which amounts to a whole lot more cartoon wang than
I expected and the end of the guitar riff censorship; it neither helps nor hurts
the show, though the difference between the disc and the broadcast is clear. The
Hi-Def image is much stronger than what aired on Cartoon Network, at least on my
carrier. It's an overall superb picture, with as much detail as possible, nice
colors, and deep, full blacks. The animation doesn't ever blow you away, but it
looks great. The surround sound, too, is better than broadcast. It's full
through the entire spectrum, with a lot of bass and good spacial effects. I love
the music, and it sounds as strong as I could hope for here. The technical side
won't test your system, but it's everything you could want.

The special features are certainly not as extensive as they could be but
they're good for a lot of extra laughs. There are a few extended scenes from
episodes, but much of it is stand-alone footage of the Dethklok boys doing
random things, from hanging out drunk at the fair to recording an audio book of
Othello. With four full music videos (for great songs), it amounts to
more than an hour of additional metal brutality.

Closing Statement

There are parts to the third season of Metalocalypse that are as funny
as anything they've done. Overall, though, the extended length hurts the show,
forcing too much plot onto too shallow characters, making certain episodes drag
before reaching the inevitably great conclusion. It's surely not a deal-breaker,
but it's a step down from what we've previously seen.