Rob Kiefer

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"Four months later, Riley wasn't much bigger than he had been when he
first made his appearance in the world" (Kiefer 4).

How much bigger
are any of us, really, than when we first made an appearance in the
world? If size is measured by bone inches shifted, sure, we're all
enormous comparatively. But if size is measured in terms of
heart knowledge and heart expression: joy, peace, curiosity, desire to
learn, desire to express, creativity, courage, honesty, none of us have
really grown and some of us have shrunk.

I don't
feel any more bold than when I was a kid. I don't feel any more
sincere, or inspired, or motivated, or talented. I have learned how to
adapt to a foreign and hostile environment. But that's not growth.
Those are war tactics. My actual growth is measured in terms of how I
am able to deflect the worldly things that come at me to protect the
childhood things I came into this world owning. So, really, this is
maintenance.

How much bigger are any of us? We learn
how to weave around jammed traffic. We learn how to swear at bad
drivers from our windows. We learn how to convince a crowd that we're
telling the truth (while lying, maybe). We learn how to smile for the
camera and then return to frowning at our manager. We learn how to
shirk familial responsibilities while upholding career
responsibilities. We learn how to unlearn the nonsense we've been taught since we arrived.