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March Moustache Madness

At work, it’s been declared March Mustache Madness. This means that, due to peer pressure, I have cleared my chin of whiskers. I feel like a tool and probably look like one, but there are worse things.

In honor of this event, I went through and developed the following guide to facial hair, since our “grooming standard” specifically forbids handlebar mustaches. Several of my coworkers who are sporting biker staches (sometimes improperly called handlebar) have been chewed out, thereby warranted this guide:

According to the World Beard and Moustache Championships, there are five official types of moustache and four partial beards (or goatees) that may compete:

The Natural

Moustache may be styled but without aids.

The hairs are allowed to start growing from up to a maximum of 1.5 cm beyond the end of the upper lip.

The Dali

Slender with long tips, straight up or arching up.

The hairs are only allowed to start growing up to the end of the upper lip.

The English

Slender, beginning from the middle of the upper lip with the hairs extremely long and pulled to the side. Tips may be lifted slightly.

The hairs are only allowed to start growing up to the end of the upper lip.

The Imperial Moustache

Small and bushy with tips arching up.

The hairs are only allowed to start growing up to the end of the upper lip.

The Hungarian

Big and bushy, beginning from the middle of the upper lip and pulled to the side.

The hairs are allowed to start growing from up to a maximum of 1.5cm beyond the end of the upper lip.

The Natural Goatee

Facial Hair grown only on chin, upper and lower lip.

Moustache not required.

The Musketeer

Moustache long and slender. Hairs are allowed to start growing from up to maximum of 1.5 cm beyond the end of the upper lip. Beard small/pointed.

The Imperial

Hair to be grown only on cheeks and upper lip. Moustache integrated. The ends must point upwards and not be curled over.

The Chinese (Fu Manchu)

Chin shaved with moustache allowed to start to grow up to a maximum of 2 cm beyond and below the end of the upper lip. Tips long and pulled down.