The Magic Potion Of Hard Power Mixed With Soft Emotion

There is this one image that has stayed with me amid all the cacophony of the last couple of weeks--the image of President Barack Obama waiting patiently in line to order a cheddar cheeseburger with mustard at Ray's Hell Burger, in Arlington, Va.

The president refused all offers to let him cut the line. When he got his burger, he sat down to lunch with his vice president at a vinyl-tableclothed table near a sign requesting customers not to take a table before getting their food. Here is the man who occupies the most powerful position in the world, queuing up at a burger stand. It puts me in mind of another presidential image that resonated with the nation almost half a century ago--the image of John F. Kennedy sitting at his desk in the Oval Office as his 3-year-old son peeks out from underneath. Both scenes gave us a glimpse of immense power tempered by shades of human softness.

Biblical scholars tell us that the Old Testament prohibition against wearing clothes containing both wool and linen (in the book of Leviticus) was instituted to uproot an old black-magic custom of mixing soft and rough fabrics to attain supernatural abilities. Some leaders seem to believe in that prohibition. They never dilute the hard face of their authority with the least hint of mildness. But some leaders realize that they can achieve a kind of magic by mixing their power with a portion of softness. An Obama or a JFK knows how to tug at our heartstrings, though he sits on the throne of power, while a Jack Welch or a Vladimir Putin comes across as stoic and mechanical.

Some strong leaders gently seduce us into following them through the softness of images they waft on us. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with crudely manipulative and obvious messages, this kind of an approach can have real power. It can disarm our cynicism. When a leader mixes hard and soft, he creates a persona with ambiguity, not so obvious, that can stir our curiosity. When people realize there is more depth to their leader than they previously thought, they find him more attractive.

There is another benefit, too, in mixing your hard power with soft. It helps people identify with you. They, of course, know their leader is above them, but the minute he allows them a glimpse of his softer side, they start to relate. They see him experiencing some of the same emotions they do. They warm to him, just as so much of America and the world does to Barack Obama.

Leadership Takeaway: There can be magic in mixing your hard power with soft emotion. By helping build people's attachment to you, it improves your attractiveness and increases their loyalty.

Sangeeth Varghese is the founder of LeadCap, a leadership organization in India, and is author of Decide to Lead. He can be contacted at sangeethv@leadcap.org.