The Courage to be Different

A Jewish boy's request for a Christmas tree leads to an important discovery: to be truly universal, we must first be able to give to the world our own unique light.

It was the winter of 1952. I was six years old, and my mother took me on a walk around our neighborhood in downtown Brooklyn, New York City. The stores were all lit up for the Christian holiday, and in each store window, there was a Christmas tree prominently displayed.

"Mommy," I asked, "Can we also have a Christmas tree in our house?" My mother was surprised by my request, and she responded: "As you know, Jeffrey, we are Jewish, and Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas. It is not our holiday."

The next night, I was in for a surprise. My parents called my younger sister and me into the living room and pointed to a small candelabra. "This is a Chanukah menorah," my father explained, "and tonight begins the celebration of the Jewish holiday of Chanukah." He gave a brief summary of the Chanukah story, and then lit the first candle.

My parents were conveying to my sister and me that we should not be ashamed to be "different."

This was my first Chanukah celebration. When I grew older, I was told that my question concerning the Christmas tree had inspired my parents to begin the celebration of Chanukah in our own home. Until then, my parents had never explained to us that we had Jewish holidays of our own. Both of my parents were progressive social activists who were involved in a variety of political and social causes for the betterment of society, and the conversation in our home centered on the evils of prejudice and the importance of recognizing that all human beings are basically the same, despite our different skin color or religions. My parents did not consider themselves "religious," although they often spoke about human brotherhood and how we are all "God's children."

My request for that "tree" evoked in my parents a sense of Jewish pride, and they realized that they had neglected an aspect of our education. By bringing the Chanukah menorah into our home, they were conveying to my sister and me that we had a unique identity, and that we should not be ashamed to be "different." As the years went by, our family began to celebrate other Jewish holidays,
and to the delight of my parents, most of our non-Jewish neighbors greatly
respected us for honoring our traditions.

When I was eight years old, my mother registered my sister and me at the afternoon Hebrew school which was sponsored by the Orthodox synagogue in our neighborhood. The more I studied about Judaism and the history of the Jewish people, the more I felt connected to my spiritual roots. At some point, I decided to constantly wear a yarmulke (skullcap). A gang of non-Jewish teenagers in my neighborhood did not approve of my Jewish garb, and they started to run after me, shouting, "Jew-boy" and other anti-Semitic comments. I ran up the stairs to the safety of my home, and I later told my father what happened. He said to me in a firm voice: "Don't ever take off your yarmulka! Be proud that you are a Jew!" My father was teaching me that I should have the courage to be different.

The Germans said that children who did not participate in singing Christmas Carols would be shot.

My neighbor's mother also conveyed to her children this message in very different circumstances. During World War Two, the Germans placed his mother and his older sisters in a concentration camp in Northern Germany that was just for women and children. When the Chanukah holiday arrived, they were not allowed to celebrate in any way; moreover the Germans gave the Jews the following order: All the children must go to a series of rehearsals to learn how to sing Christmas Carols, and on Christmas Day, they are to perform before all the soldiers and camp officials. Children that did not participate would be shot. My neighbor's mother, together with a friend, decided that their children would not perform. They had endured all forms of suffering, but they would not submit to this public mockery of Jewish beliefs. Somehow, they found a way to hide their children, and miraculously, their lack of attendance was not even noticed by the officer in charge.

When the Christian holiday arrived, the Jewish children were placed on a stage, and they faced an audience of soldiers and camp officers. As they sang the songs, the Germans began to slowly leave the area, and the children were ordered to remain and continue singing. Finally, all the Germans had left the area, and the children were still singing. Suddenly, the stage blew up, and all the children were killed.

The full story of how my neighbor's mother and his sisters managed to survive will be told in a forthcoming book that my neighbor is writing about his mother. He and his sisters grew up to be committed Jews, and he is devoting his life to teaching Torah to Jewish children. He is a beloved figure in my neighborhood, and the children love to be around him.

There are those who feel that in order to be "universal," one must assimilate into the culture of the majority. Chanukah, however, provides us with a different understanding of how to be "universal." It conveys the message that to be truly universal, we must first have the courage to be different. In this way, we will be able to give to the world our own unique light.

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About the Author

Yosef Ben Shlomo Hakohen is the author of "The Universal Jew - Letters to My Progressive Father" (Feldheim Publishers). He is also the director of the study-program: Hazon - Our Universal Vision: www.shemayisrael.co.il/publicat/hazon/.

Visitor Comments: 31

(31)
SusanE,
December 16, 2008 1:27 PM

I Don't Know What Was the Right Choice. Both?

I've just read this article and it is heartrending in it's sadness but, I've also found hope in it's message.
The children who sang the songs were killed. There were innocents and they were 100% Jews by certainty of their mothers. But, by their Mothers allowing them to going on the stage and sing the carols, the few Jewish children who were hidden were not found and killed. By the childrens' singing some were saved. Is this a reasonable way to look at this horrible senseless act?

(30)
Andy,
December 28, 2007 11:12 AM

did the mothers violate Jewish law by keeping their kids from singing carols?

I don'tknow if it is permissible to choose death over singing Chritmas carols unless that entails idolotry. Sending his son to an Orthodox Hebrew school, and telling him to keep wearing his kippa was I think unusual for a leftist progressive family in the 1950's. Seems to me like the writer was very blessed in this area.

(29)
Anna,
December 26, 2007 1:29 PM

Great Artticle!

Thank You for writing such an inspirational article!!!

(28)
Daniela,
December 26, 2007 10:14 AM

To Ken -

Dachau - to name one.Regards,Daniela :)

(27)
ML Suriano,
December 25, 2007 10:29 AM

Coming out of "Spiritual Egypt"

I needed to read this today of all days.. I'm what many would call a Rightous Noahide, but I would rather consider myself a sorjourner I have been following and living the Torah for 3 years thus far and have decided this year that my son and I would not attend my famiies x-mas gathering. (I was raised Catholic/Christian) I awoke to a series of phone calls telling me that I need to be with family in "Their" traditions and that since 4 out of 13 of them are in their 80's we have no idea of how much time left that we can gather together. I felt like they were trying to right- their - wrong.. I needed the strenght that this article has given me! That no matter what, I need to seek HaShem! And not give-in to traditions that are wrong.Thank You! May others be stregthened as well.

(26)
Leibel ben Yitzchak,
December 25, 2007 7:43 AM

They Listened to These Carols

For some reason, while all my co-workers were celebrating the season, I couldn't help but think "these same xmas carols were favorites of the Nazis."

(25)
Anonymous,
December 25, 2007 5:52 AM

UNBELIEVABLE...

Unbelievable.. what humans can do to defenceless children..

this story should be published worldwide..I used to love the carols, I a young Jewish child learned at school along with the entire school population, and lately i LIKED THEM FOR MUSICALITY... BUT AFTER THIS STORY.. i AM POISONED BY THEM...

IT IS SO SAD AND ATROCIOUS... AN EVIL MOCKERY FROM A SO CALLED INTELLIGENT PEOPLE...

AS FOR CAMPS IN GERMANY, i AM TOLD THERE WERE THOUSAND OF THEM IN GERMANY PREWAR WORLD War 2, political dissenters and Communists were also sent there...

(24)
ANNY MATAR,
December 25, 2007 3:27 AM

BEiNG"UNISERSAL" IN JEWISH MINDS IS GIVING UP JEWDAISM

We,Jews, believe that the Christian World will be more willing to accept our assimilation if WE'LL BE LIKEthem. To quote Baldwin "We,are accepting what the whites (in our case the christians) say about us and ,it's not for THEM to accept US,but it's we who should be willing to accept THEM.It's very hard to explain to children why "they" have such lovely colourful paintings on the walls of their churches and we have "NOTHING BUT THE ARON HAKODESH" in our Beth Knesset. Our son aged 15 explained it to his sister aged 11, in Italy, "they needed it because thay couldn't read and this is their story book, while we could always read and therefore needed no explanations" I thought he hit the nail on the head, and so it is for Christmas which has nothing to do with Christianity but is a Pagan tradition, but they always knew how to make it attractive for their flock while we took ours for granted. Our Chanucka really celebrates a miracle and it's a very real tradition which helped many of us to survive dark times in dugeons but so very few "modern" Jews celebrate it with such colour, because we're a minority abroad, Here in Israel it is celebrated with presents, song and dance and lights. Were we all here many teenage problems of thediaspora could be solved.Anny MatarIsael

(23)
Ray,
December 24, 2007 11:36 PM

A Great Source of Inspiration

As I read the article, it really inspires me to continue to search for my Jewish roots. To be different means I am the only Jew in our place.

(22)
Beverly Kurtin,
December 24, 2007 11:17 PM

Lights

The only reason there are lights on my house is because it isn't mine! I live with my sister and her daughter. She's a Christian and likes to have lights, so we compromised: blue and white lights only.

However, I have to admit that I delight in asking Christians why they do what they do. Their messiah was born while shepherds were out in their fields. In WINTER? They haven't the foggiest concept of why they celebrate when they do. Of course, it is because of a pagan holiday that was held on the 25th of December that pagans refused to give up. So toss intelligence and just do as you're told.

Have you ever asked why they think that their guy died for the sins of all when it states as clearly as possible that every person dies for their own sins? And why do they think that blood is necessary to obtain atonement? While they're stumbling over that, hit them with a few other questions like how could their chap be an acceptable sacrifice when HaShem clearly stated that human sacrifice was out of the question.

If you really want to have fun, just type in words like "each man dies for his own sins" into Google and you'll find the Torah verse. Doing that drives 'em nuts because they can't give intelligent answers.

However, please do what you do with kindness and respect. We're commanded to respect other's beliefs. We can counter their beliefs with facts, but the have nothing except what they call their "New Testament." I always refer to it as the "Christian Bible" as there IS no "New" testament.

We can be proud of who and what we are without being obnoxious, yes?

(21)
Anonymous,
December 24, 2007 5:05 PM

uniqueness of our light

all through history Jews act in a "different" yet dedicated path that makes them the Macabees from the past and the Macabees for our future. There is no question we are the chosen people and a Jew should never be afraid to be that selected,chosen and seperate individual that brings the uniqueness of light and strength to our world and to the world that G-d created.That is our purpose.

(20)
Ken Salkover,
December 24, 2007 4:28 PM

Minor detail?

I was under the impression there were no concentration camps in Germany--only in Nazi-occupied countries outside Germany.

(19)
Anonymous,
December 24, 2007 1:38 PM

Thank you

I converted to Judaism this past year and I must say that I am more at peace now than through all my years in Christianity. This article only reinforces why I love Judaism so much and how right my decision was to make a change to the truth.

(18)
Katie,
December 24, 2007 7:51 AM

Bless the light of the soul

The article touched me in many ways...the joy of discovery of history, the horror of senseless murder of innocents, sadness that Christian celebrations are thought of as meaninglessThere is much work to be done that all peoples may be appreciated for their gifts to G-D.

(17)
Carlos Sorto,
December 23, 2007 2:20 PM

Thanks

As a Christian born, following my path to Judaism, you reinforce my conviction to continue in this direction.Thanks and as write these lines I have tears in my eyes.

(16)
ruth housman,
December 23, 2007 1:51 PM

a celebration of diversity

I was shocked by the story of the children who were killed singing those stories on stage. What a brutal, unconscionable act, at a shameful time in history, when such things seemed to happen all the time to innocent and this seemed so exceptionally beyond the scope of humane ity.

You are right that everyone has a unique light and I do see that all of us is refracting the light in unique and special ways. We need to be aware of this dance we are doing together, to respect each other, across race, religion, beliefs and work towards a true celebration of diversity in action. It gets hard when confronted with such unconscionable acts of terror and this is the task, to somehow get through this to the other side.

(15)
David Schulman,
December 23, 2007 12:07 PM

If you cannot be yourself who or what are you? I have more then one bloody nose because I killed some one 2008 years ago. So I have been told. I have a poor memory . When I was 15 0r 16.

(14)
Ruth W,
December 23, 2007 11:23 AM

Thank you, Jeff

Over 35 years ago I remember the wonderful organization that Jeff founded in New York to strengthen Yiddishkeit. It was called "Bet Cafe". It reached out to all Jews, frum and non-frum, and had very meaningful programs, such as, Paul Cowan discussing the Jewish elderly poor in NY, and visits to Jewish prisoners, and a model seder attracting a few hundred people, and, of course, music with Reb Shlomo and others. It was a very encouraging and inspiring reach-out program, thanks to Jeff and thanks to his parents sensitivity to their children's precious Jewish souls.

(13)
ed karesky,
December 23, 2007 9:00 AM

have respect for others traditions

I was also touched by the articl. I was raised as a commited Jew and passed that respect, pride, and practice to my own children who hopefully will ass that on to others. I cannot, however, ignore the comment of the elderly Jewish about the meaningless of Christmas traditions for Christians. It was written in the Talmud to "repect the righteous Gentile." Jewish belief, if I am correct, commands us to respect the rights of others as long as these rights of others are practiced in a G-dly manner. To group the traditions of all Christians as meaningless does not showrespect for the "righteous gentiles," a number of whom sacrificed thmselves for our people.

(12)
Anonymous,
December 28, 2001 12:00 AM

sad

I am truly touched by your story. I am saddened that children everywhere are not encouraged to be who they are. The story of WWII makes me sick. I however had relatives who ended up in concentration camps for hiding Jews in their homes, so I know the horror of it in at least a small way. God Bless you.

(11)
Judith Graetz,
December 27, 2001 12:00 AM

The courage to be different

Thank you so much! That helped to re-inforce my thinking and convictions in my own life!Would appreciate more articles dealing with living in a predominantly Xtian community.

(10)
Yussi Shapiro,
December 25, 2001 12:00 AM

Excellent

You're fortunate that your parents were instilled with enough pride to celebrate Chanukah at that crucial moment and to encourage your subsequent advances in Jewish Education. I wish more Jews would appreciate and be proud of their Jewishness. I was walking home with an older man from shul one Friday night and when he saw a non-Jewish house fully illuminated with electic lights, etc. he remarked "It's all meaningless! There's no real history to it at all! All made-up stories!" And even their celebrations (trees, lights, S.Clauss, etc.) have evolved over the years! We should know, that WE have a solid and rich history, factually documented and witnessed by hundreds of thousands of our ancestors for over 2000 years, and celebrated year after year the exact same way (Chanukah) from the very first year! One simple candle of light - that dispells many cubic feet of darkness! With G-d's help we should all continue to teach to more people and help to dispell the darkness of ignorance with the light of true knowledge! Hatzlacha Rabba!

(9)
connie rittenhouse,
December 25, 2001 12:00 AM

courage

Thank you so-o much for this article. truly at this time of year it helped to feed my soul. This was the first winter 'season' I had my extended Christain family in my home. I am a convert, from a family of Southern Baptists-go figure. Please please continue to support our young people in Jewish tradition. please continue to kindle the flame. The warmth and the light of that flame will illuminate the world....

(8)
Magdala Corcoran,
December 25, 2001 12:00 AM

A truth we all need to know and learn to love.

Received your email address on Christmas Day. The most appropriate timing for this needed reminder that to tolerate evil in any way, shape or form negates everything we think we stand for. If we are Christians, LOVE must be our hallmark. It must be seen, especially by those who hate us, which all too often are other in name only 'christians.'

We have become obsessed with 'political correctness' and are again ignoring 'THE RIGHT.' This reminder is a call to our conscience.

On behalf of 'my fathers' I ask forgiveness for their complacency in the face of unspeakable evil.

I applaud the courage to do right of those in your sharing.

May we all learn that CHANUKAH, THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHT, is one with THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD,

(7)
Marcelo Assayag,
December 25, 2001 12:00 AM

I think we should not hide our own identity, becaude it is very strong to be jew.

(6)
Daniel Jeshurun,
December 24, 2001 12:00 AM

The Light of Chunakah

This year we celebrated for the first time Chunakah. The light of chunukah has brought the presence of G-d into my life in a way I had not expected. Thank you for the deeply touching story.

Daniel Jeshuron

(5)
Anonymous,
December 24, 2001 12:00 AM

Wow!

two touching stories which make want to read more.

(4)
Shubug Tollison,
December 24, 2001 12:00 AM

This is such a good story. I wish all could see the truth of Chanukah. Most of all see the truth of how it is celerbrated. so much of christmas has been put into it that really others do not see it different than thier on holiday of today. May the true light of Chanukah begin to shine a light of the truth of the one true G-d.

(3)
Anonymous,
December 23, 2001 12:00 AM

Understanding Chanukah

I appreciate your story - thank you.

Sad about the children of the concentration camp story. Our precious children killed and the children that would have come from them denied, forever.

Chanukah itself is the celebration of our people not merging into the the certainly larger and dominant culture of ancient times. For me, seeing x mas cards for intermarried people with both Christian symbol of a tree with a Menorah represents the ignorance of too many regarding our special holiday of Chanukah and what it represents.

Chanukah, the miracle of remaining Jews inspite of pressures to merge with dominant cultures and disappearing into them needs be taught to our children and learned by grownups who don't know better.

(2)
,
December 23, 2001 12:00 AM

very inspirational

This is a very moving article, which should be widely disseminated. It demonstrates how people can be moved by Jewish experiences if they are explained and passed on to Jewish children especially, and adults. The "pintele Yid" is always there, waitig to be awakened.

(1)
Anonymous,
December 23, 2001 12:00 AM

wow

thank you for this article
i have been trieng to find a nice way to explain to jews and christians why i will not put a tree or lights in my home and this was helpful.

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
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