How To Get Your Ex Back - Basic Step by Step Strategies

Getting back someone you love after a break up isn't always easy, and every case is different. But whether your boyfriend or girlfriend dumped you to date someone else, or just wanted a break from your current relationship, the pain and hurt are always the same. If you've decided to do something about your break up, you'll need to know exactly how to win back your ex. The following guide touches upon most of the basics, when it comes to reversing your breakup.

While you're reading the information below, try to examine which stage in the break up you're currently at. Did you just break up a few days ago? Or have you been apart for some time?

Also important to note are the moves you've already made to get him or her back, and the things you might've recognized as mistakes. Is your ex still communicating with you? Are you having trouble getting them to warm up to the idea of dating again? These are all things you'll need to ask yourself, and you'll have to do it as honestly as possible. You need to figure out exactly where you stand with your ex, so you can plan the right approach using proper reconnection techniques.

In the end, the faster you can get started on the right track to fixing your break up, the better off you'll be. Your chances are best when you've made the least amount of mistakes. Knowledge is therefore one of the most important assets to winning back someone you love. Read this guide carefully, and learn all you can.

Getting Your Ex To Come Back To You

In learning how to get back an exboyfriend or girlfriend, you'll go through many phases. One of the first? Acceptance. Only be accepting your break up can you start thinking and seeing things clearly. And not only will this clear your own mind, but it'll also let your ex know that you're past the very awkward stages that come immediately after he ends the relationship. Realizing and acknowledging that your relationship is over can be a vital first step on the road to winning back an ex.

Immediately after you've accepted the fact that you're now single, the next thing you'll need to do is disappear. Sticking around after the break up and clinging to the hope that your boyfriend will take you back is one of the worst things you can do. Being there for your ex-boyfriend gives him the strength to continue the break up. He knows you still love him, so he knows he can get you back. The further you remove yourself from this equation? The faster your boyfriend will miss you. Once you're gone from sight it gives him the chance to evaluate what his future would be like without having you around.

Hand in hand with dropping out of sight, breaking contact with your ex is your next move. Visually being gone means nothing if you're still calling your ex, or worse, emailing him. Many women cling to any possible connection they can with their ex boyfriends in hopes that it will lead to them getting back together. But the fact is this: the more contact you have with your ex the less likely he'll be to reconcile your relationship. Again, this is because he's comfortable with the break up. Only by making him uncomfortable - by making him wonder where you went - will he finally have to decide whether or not he can live without you. Getting your boyfriend back is all about making him realize he stands to lose you completely.

Contacting Your Ex - Do's and Don'ts

Having no connection is always better than the wrong type of contact.

Over time, the lack of any contact will make your ex curious. He or she will start asking friends about you first, and if they still can't decide what you're up to there's a very good chance your ex will call or send you an email. This is a great way to get your boyfriend to initiate contact.

If it's still too soon after the break up, you should let that contact go unanswered. Your boyfriend's already sweating what you've been doing... let him continue to panic that he might lose you.

That said, if enough time has passed that things are no longer in the beginning awkward phases, it's time to reconnect. Pick up the phone and see what he wants. Let him do the talking, since he's the one who contacted you. Be happy to hear from him, but don't be overjoyed or seem even the slightest bit desperate. Keep your conversation or email short, and leave many things unsaid. This is the best way to re-open the lines of communication with your ex, by getting him to contact you.

After you've re-established a connection with your ex, the next thing to do is see him. Your exboyfriend probably misses you by now, especially if you did the right thing by disappearing completely from his life. One of you should casually suggest having lunch together: this should come off as an innocent meeting at a neutral place. One good way to do it is to act very busy on the phone, telling him you need to go somewhere: "Hey listen, I have to run. Want to do lunch tomorrow? We can talk some more then." This type of laid back approach is a nice transition from talking to seeing your ex again. It doesn't sound contrived, and you don't sound desperate. If your ex hasn't asked to see you yet, it's a good way to get him in a face-to-face scenario.