Do you love yourself?

That is a good questions – is the answer you would usually get, I bet.

I am not talking about buying yourself a nice dress or bag or cheat day foodwise. Those are things we do to compensate something. Which is totally fine, I also do this from time to time, but I am aware that I do this.

But something for yourself? Like going for a walk by yourself (I bring Karl with me, but it works) and enjoying nature. Like spending a day at the beach and relax. Like watching a movie in the cinema by yourself. Like reading a nice book outside. Or maybe even got on a vacation for yourself by yourself.

We often thinl that spending time by ourselves makes us lonely but I say it is the total opposite. When we are able to spend time with ourselves we love ourself fully. We have accepted ourselves and take the chance to ground again. To get rid of energy we collected during the last weeks and just get to be with ourselves again.

So spending time by yourself can be very fulfilling. Maybe even better than spending time with lots of people, who do not fulfill you.

Think about it. What would you like to do. What have you postponed a lot of times and end up not doing? Do it now. Do it for yourself and be kind to yourself.

The most important relationship you have in life is the one you have with yourself.

Diane Von Furstenberg

For a long time I was sure I did that. I loved myself (at least kind of, when everything did go smoothly in life). But did I really love myself? Did I really appreciate myself and most importantly did I put myself over everyone else?

No.

I am a very empathic person and I put the needs of others above mine a lot of times. I want others to feel comfortable and safe around me. If they need me, they can rely on me and they know I will do whatever I can to make them feel better.

And here is my problem: I can’t say no. I can’t keep a balance.

The consequence: people used me. People knew they would feel better once they talked to me, but I felt miserable. I felt sad and drained. I know they never did this on purpose because it was also my responsibility to say now, or it is enough. What I never did.

So self love for me starts when I realize that I want to help others, but I need help too. That I want to make others feel good, but I want to feel good with them. I had to become more selfish (in a good way though).

So what I challenge you today, because this is a personal text – I want you to write a love letter to yourself.

Take some time, sit quietly and write a love letter, write all the good things about yourself. Write it all down. If you feel this is kind of weird, you are exactly where you should be. It is not weird or uncomfortable to compliment yourself. If you don’t love yourself, others won’t either. And it is true.

Sometimes loving yourself

means taking a break

from giving so much of yourself

to the rest of the world.

angel lindberg vazquez

So write whatever comes into your mind. Leave the letter for a night and then on the next day, read it out loud to you. Or ask a friend to read it for you. And then finish by saying „I love you“ to yourself.

Try to say „I love you“ to yourself every day. If it is hard for you, start with every third day or every week, but start.

I am still on the journey to love myself fully. There are days where I can’t and days when I feel so much love for everything. But I am sure, once I am at the point where I fully accept the mistakes I made and love myself everything will fall into place.

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Dear Malia, now try this: during the next month, on every decision you are about to make, ask yourself – ‚how would someone who truly and fully loves themselves decide in that situation?‘
When the answer pops into your head, and it might be more of a feeling than words, go for it.