Has Gonzalez been hanging out with Jonathan Martin? Trash talk on the field compelled him to retire? Please. That's just an excuse, even if it's true.

There is a reason the NFL doesn't live mic any of the players. They know the kind of language that is out there. If Gonzalez grew so long in the tooth that harsh language swayed his decision, then retiring was probably the right move.

The story itself is flippin' hilarious. The very fact that Florio needed to fill column space with this kind of fluffy stuff says more about PFT than anything else - ah well - PFT has become "The View" of NFL media. I could be wrong, but I believe one of the ladies in the accounting department at work said to me, exactly what it's reported Burnett said to Gonzalez. So...where is MY story, huh?