Teacher to Danny: Danny, why you are not writing?
Danny: Ma’am, I don’t has a pen
Teacher: Danny, you said a wrong sentence. The correct form is I don’t have a pen, he doesn’t have a pen and we don’t have a pen.
Danny: oh Ma’am! Who stole all the pens then?!

— What’s black and white and black and white and black and white?
— A penguin rolling down a hill.

— What’s the favorite fruit of twins?
— Pears.

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

— Can you find the longest table in the class room?
— Sure, it is the multiplication table!

— Why did the class teacher always wear sunglasses?
— Because her class was so bright!

— Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
— Because there were so many knights!

Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

— What was Camelot?
— A place where people parked their camels!

Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

— When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
— Because there are no pupils to see!

Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!

— What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
— The food!