Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: The Robert Kraft “Jerked and Pulled” Chicken Sandwich

Let’s just cut to the chase here.. If you are one of those people who says shit like “I believe in free speech, except for…” or you think that you can categorically deny jokes are funny simply based in the subject matter, then save us both some time, and don’t read any further. Not only will the point here be completely lost on you, but you are also probably some “politically correct” nudnik who is really just a totalitarian censor waiting to happen.

But if you are not locked into the prison of binary thinking and can see past the intellectual slavery demanded by particular ideologies, you can understand that something can be simultaneously horrible and brimming with humor. If this wasn’t possible, there wouldn’t be such a thing as “dark comedy.”

The fact that New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft got popped on solicitation of prostitution charges is a perfect example. I’m already on record pointing out the horrible human-trafficking side of this story. I’ve also cracked a few jokes. The problem here is that a restaurant in Syracuse added an item to it’s menu and offered to donate the proceeds to charity.

Although we appreciate the support of Dinosaur BBQ and their patrons, we respectfully ask you to remove this social media post. We can not accept donations from this. This post does a disservice to our mission and support of the clients we serve. Human Trafficking should not be taken lightly. This post does not honor or support the victims of Mr. Kraft and at no time should victims be made to feel as if they are a pun to a joke. Donating to our cause and mission is something that we value but not at the expense of victims/survivors. Our hope is to educate our community about the severity and impact of Human Trafficking, for it exist in our own community.

What a load of “holier than thou” bullshit.

First of all, did you notice how this group’s response makes it clear the reason they can’t take these donations is because it was posted on social media? Five will get you ten if Dinosaur BBQ had either 1) never posted this on Twitter or 2) didn’t say the proceeds would be donated, the McMahon/Ryan people wouldn’t have asked questions when they received the donation.

Second, they try to hide that by cloaking themselves in the sanctity of the victims of human trafficking, I hate to point this out, but the joke here isn’t about victims…IT’S ABOUT THE ASS-WIPE DOING THE VICTIMIZING!!! If you want an “Asian prostitute” joke that invariably will piss off the “PC” crowd, here you go…

That’s not even mine; you can fish tons of stuff just like this off the web. Like I said, the Dinosaur BBQ people tried to make a positive out of a negative, unlike just so many memes scattered around the web. There’s a heavy-duty dose of “Alanis Morrisette-level” irony in the fact the same kind of sleazy pimps who run places like the one where Kraft got busted and every charity on earth have something in common. While they obviously have very different intentions, they are both all about the money, and are both about getting it by offering some level of gratification.

Now, if you really want to be stupid, you can be that person who is going to accuse me of making a moral equivalency between getting a hand-job from a de facto sex slave and sending a check to the Red Cross. Instead, be smart enough to understand that even the smallest act of altruism comes with a sense of fulfillment. That’s why those “help stop animal cruelty” commercials show the saddest-looking, helpless little puppies so after you get off the phone with Sarah MacLachlan you feel like you’ve helped. Like it or not, almost everything we do as human beings has an inherent element of “What’s in it for me?”

For only $19 a month, Sarah MacLachlan won’t think you are a heartless piece of shit…and that’s what you really want.

That’s why the moralizing puffery from McMahon/Ryan people is so transparent. Don’t even try to tell me they vete all their donations. In fact, I would bet you they are more than happy to accept money taken from “Johns” in the form of fines paid and/or court-ordered contributions to just such charities. If they are willing to take money from the people who create the market for the victims of human trafficking, how can they possibly justify not taking money from anybody?

Let that sink in for a minute. Rather than taking money which could be used to help the “victims,” McMahon/Ryan wants you to believe they can’t dirty their hands with “bad joke” money, despite the fact you know they don’t check on all their donations, and they even admit they have taken money from Dinosaur BBQ in the past, and it clearly seems they would be willing to do so again after the restaurant offered a mea culpa.

The “million-dollar” question is…what does McMahon/Ryan actually accomplish here besides making themselves look like humorless fools who think they can shut down jokes they don’t like.

P.S. If you order the Robert Kraft “Jerked and Pulled” Chicken Sandwich, watch out for the sauce…it’s got a little wang to it.

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4 comments on “Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: The Robert Kraft “Jerked and Pulled” Chicken Sandwich”

Interesting read. And although the restraunt kind of had their heart in the right place by donating funds, they were also trying to gain media attention for themselves. The best thing they could have done is find a charity that would have been interested first. Yeah, human trafficking is horrible, I have been researching this for several years and know how far reaching this problem is. And the name of the sandwich is kind of disgusting, I don’t think I would try one, it sounds like it could leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Of course Dinosaur BBQ was trying to gain attention for themselves. Did I not mention that all charitable acts have an element of “What’s in it for me?” aspect? Not to mention, the more sandwiches they would have sold, the bigger the donation. would have been.

That is what I was referring to, what you wrote, the attention they would get, pure altruism is next to impossible. People who get the warm fuzzies, well that’s their “get”
And you know I have a horribly dark sense of humor…

For purposes of full disclosure for readers who may not know, we know each other. I love your horribly dark sense of humor, and I wish you would write more often using it. You discuss a topic nobody wants to talk about, so it really needs the unique approach you could provide.