Shotgun rules

The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger
seat) in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding.

Section I
The Basic Rules

1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word
"Shotgun" in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged
by the driver. The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the
call as long as the driver verifies the call.

2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are
outside and on the way to said vehicle.

3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called
while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive
immediately forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a
vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For
example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the
return journey.

4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has
the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more
persons.

Section II
Special Cases

These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the
order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of
the cases beneath it, when applicable.

1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or
otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is
automatically given Shotgun.

2. If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is
not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they
decline.

3. In the instance the the driver's spouse, boy/girlfriend is going
to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless
they decline.

4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill
during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she
will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun
to make appropriate use of the window.

5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given
location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated
navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they
decline.

6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to
fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and
award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and
other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a
three hour trip with him crammed in the back.

Section III
The Survival of the Fittest Rule

1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of the
Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all
rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied
by whoever can take it by force.

2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the
Fittest Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause
reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to
the vehicle.