Thursday, November 8, 2007

Leonard Blavatnik: The $150,000,000 Man

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Russian born and Harvard educated tycoon Leonard Blavatnik has been trying to buy behemoth apartments all over town. After dumping a reported $27,500,000 for a 14 room sprawler at the uber-exclusive 998 Fifth Avenue, he reportedly wanted to purchase an adjoining apartment to combine into one mega-mansion in the sky, but the powerful board put the kibosh on that bit of real estate folly.

So what's a billionaire mogul to do? Go shopping for a new colossal crib, natch. In the process, Mister Blavatnik was reportedly turned down by the demanding and snobby boards at the San Remo (where Bono currently lives and Madonna was famously turned away), and also at the elegant 927 Fifth Avenue (home to a too nipped and tucked Mary Tyler Moore).

No doubt irate with the boards of all the better buildings, the filthy rich mogul started looking for a twonhouse and settled on booze baron Edgar Bronfman Jr.'s tremendous East 64th Street townhouse, for which Mister Blavatnik JUST paid a reported fifty million (plus) clams.

Apparently Mister Blavatnik was not entirely satisfied with the 31 foot wide townhouse with its 2.5 story indoor piazza and secret stairways, because yesterday, the NY Post's resident celebrity real estate gossip reported that the real estate obsessed fat cat is rumored to have signed a letter of intent to cough up a staggering $150,000,000 for 30,000 square feet of living space at The Mark, the legendary hotel that is currently undergoing a spectacular renovation that in addition to hotel rooms will include large suites and apartments for purchase.

According to Keil's sources, Blavatnik's triplex penthouse will span the top three floors (plus 3,900 square feet of outdoor space) of the building that anchors a super swank corner at Madison Avenue and 77th Street. The interior spaces of The Mark are being aggressively overhauled by celebrated French designer Jacques Grange who plans to install a dizzying and humorous black and white floor in the lobby. The suites and apartments are scheduled to be fitted with oak floors, Boffi kitchens and Grand-Hotel inspired baths. But given that Mister Blavatnik's obscenely humongous penthouse will be a combination of 5 units–which Kiel reports would total 23 bedrooms, 25 bathrooms and five powder rooms if sold separately–Your Mama imagines that Mister Blavatnik's army of nice gay decorators will be doing the place up in whatever fashion Mister and Missus Blavatnik see fit and are willing to pay for.

Mister Blavatnik is well known in real estate circles for his voracious appetite for outrageously priced trophy properties and, of course, Your Mama has discussed his crazy real estate ways previously. In addition to the $50,000,000+ townhouse on East 64th Street, he owns another palatial townhouse on East 63rd Street. He continues to own the big apartment at 998 Fifth Avenue, there's a spread in the Hamptons, and let's not forget his 10 bedroom, 9 bathroom $120,000,000 mega mansion in London that sits right next door to Kensington Palace, where a whole mess of royals shack up.

Children please note that the top four photos above are of the LOBBY and the floor plan is only for the top floor penthouse and roof terrace. If the rumors are true, Mister Blavatnik's triplex will include the two lower floors as well.

Now children, just how many full time gurls do you think it takes to keep all that clean?

Off topic, it looks like the L&O episode about Linda Stein is about wrapped up. They arrested a 26 year old personal assistant with shady background. Ripped from the headlines. Thank god, my personal assistants are so old and frail they can't weild anything heavier than a martini glass.

Re: snobby boards. They reject because they can. Also I agree that his building plans are megalomaniacal. My god, how loudly can you scream LOOK AT ME!

That's not rlly a reason. It's totally about snobbery & elitism - When your financials are o.k then there rlly is no other reason unless you have a crazy criminal record or something. Otherwise it's just stuck up, pompous old idiots trying to wield power.

Oh wow Mama this one reads like a great screen play too,Rachel Zoe would be great in wardrobe.Lots of gold,alligator and Versace clanking around super luxe interiors.I see a pair of Philipe Stark gold plated machine gun lamps on Rhulman side tables next to the custom Jaques Grange sofa.Above the French limestone fireplace a very important blue period Picasso shimmers from the glow of the gold leaf ceiling.

...........18 months later....Nervously yet with frail determination she enters the uber swank lobby of the newly opened Mark on 77th.This time she's grasping a black croc Hermes birkin bag with white gold and diamond pave clasp,more in the Russian taste than Prada."Madam" I'm sorry but there are no drinks allowed in the public areas"says the swooningly dark and handsome doorman.A moment of panic sweeps through her cashmere enveloped bones.Can she do this without her Starbucks?Determined yet stung she is escorted into the silk lined elevator and seated on a small rosewood bench for the duration of the ride to the penthouse."you've got to be fucking kidding me right?"she mutters to herself upon entering the lobby of the penthouse that is larger and more spectacular that the lobby downstairs by tenfold.The walls are hung with what appear to be a suite of four 15th century Flemish tapestries depicting a series of Roman battles.From the 50 foot ceiling is hanging the largest chandelier in a private residence in the United States,each crystal drop is carved from a combination of various semi precious stones,and casts a luxurious glow onto the giant round ormolu and malachite early 19th cetury Russian table sitting on the black and white marble floor that shines like a Siberian lake under the midnight sun. A bevy of assistants with phones and blackberrys buzzing and beeping show her into Mrs Blavatnik's morning room,lots of silver,art deco and orchids in jet black lalique vases.Severe,correct and very expensive.Is that a bright red Alexander Calder sculpture on the terrace?More buzzing,beeping and nervous chatter in Russian and then suddenly there she is Like a Scythian Queen from the Steppes of central Asia over two thousand years ago bought to glorious life in a gold couture Lanvin suit.Stunned,she had expected Versace,she greets her new client with a sigh of relief.

She had been working with Mrs Blavatnik now for almost three months and already they had spent over five million dollars on clothing and jewels,but things were starting to get bad even in New York.After the stock market collapse of October 08 widespread layoffs and unemployment swept through the nation with the return of urban riots in some less well off cities.Just today her town car from the airport was caught in a mass march of homeless mothers from once affluent Park Slope pushing $800 strollers towards the Brooklyn Bridge chanting "we want our brownstones back".Things were not much better in downtown Manhattan with gangs of unemployed hipsters lurking on the once gilded streets.What a relief it was to pass the private security gate at 57th street and enter the Upper East Sides still sunny and happy environs. Although the Blavatniks had lost almost four billion dollars in the US economic collapse they had made it all back when oil went to $250 a barrel,so Mrs Blavatnik felt it was her duty to keep shopping."What about my girls at Bergdorf's?What will they do without me?"

help me out here, maybe i missed a few memos. wasnt the big news about the beverly hills "H" house, saperstein versailles (i think i got that name right), trumps florida property, and that ski lodge in colorado that they were out of their minds for asking over 100 mil esp cuz no one has spent over 100 mil on a property? and for $150 m, couldnt he have bought pretty much any one of those (presuming "H" house would negotiate)?