"Let's play a game: If you can tell me what "Malleus Maleficarum" means (without resorting to an internet search) I'll allow your post to remain the "most awesome""

Easy. "The Hammer of Witches." I already knew this because AFI has a song called "Malleus Maleficarum." :P Kind of ironic that AFI helps me in my quest to make a post about old-school death metal awesome...