A collage of literary snapshots from the life of a large traditional Catholic family

An article I wrote in 2008 for Catholic Exchange. Happily, all the negative comments associated with its original publication have been removed, since it was allocated a new link…

I was nine years old when the beauty and innocence of my childhood faded…

I had been outside, riding my bike, when I ran in to get a drink of water. My mother, who had been reading the local newspaper, was quietly weeping.

I asked her why she was crying. I looked over her shoulder to see what she had been reading and saw a picture of the sweetest little boy. He had the face and smile of a cherub, a head full of dark curls, and very large, brown eyes. I asked who he was. I don’t remember his name, but I’ll never forget his beautiful face. As I gazed into those eyes, my mother told me his parents had beaten him to death.

He was four years old.

Perhaps my mom shouldn’t have told me; raw with emotion and lost in her own pain, she had blurted the words without thinking. I wept for another child for the first time in my life. This little boy would never ride a bike or run in the park. It was incomprehensible to my young mind. Almost immediately, my lighthearted nature and joy evaporated. A true depression, a sadness that I couldn’t articulate for many months, enveloped me. I lost interest in day to day pleasures. I quit playing outside. Fear and anxiety dwelt closely in my heart. My world was no longer safe.

It took several months before I could pull myself out of that depression. Nine years old and no one really knew just how disturbed, how profoundly changed I was by the death of a child I had never known. I kept my secret for many years and only recently shared it with my mother as we were discussing the importance of maintaining purity and innocence in the life of a child…

Innocence.

A state of blessed “unknowingness” that is markedly different from ignorance. So many of our children are increasingly subjected to sights, sounds, and situations which may mar or altogether destroy their innocence. Most Catholic parents are vigilant keepers at the gates of the family castle, seeking to provide a refuge against the irreligiosity of the world and its seductive whispers. We set up filters on computers, block-out television channels or eliminate commercial programming completely, screen videos and literature, and make every effort to know as much as possible about our childrens’ friends. Additionally, some of us have chosen “the road less traveled”: educating our children at home to shelter them from the storm of secularism and accepting the monumental responsibility that is inherent in being the primary role model of the seven cardinal virtues.

And yet…we can still be bombarded from the most unlikely sources.

As a vehemently pro-life Catholic, I’m well aware of the challenges that exist in spreading the truth about the horrors of abortion and the industry of death. I’m proud of the men and women who have put their very freedom on the line to protect our littlest brothers and sisters. These gentle souls, by their prayers and sacrifices, and their peaceful protests continue to send a message that is counter to the hatred that is so rampant amongst the pro-death camp. Prayer is, and always will be, the most effective way to counter evil in this world.

Alas, there are those within our movement who have begun to despair, and in that despair have sought to win souls and save lives through “shock and awe.” Graphic depictions of aborted and mutilated children are paraded on banners, emblazoned on trucks and carried on placards. These are real babies, little boys and girls horribly mangled and nearly unrecognizable. How heinous and frightening the reality of abortion! Is it any wonder that not a few young women have changed their minds after viewing these images? Fr. Frank Pavone of Priests For Life shares the following observation:
“There is no single thing that I have seen more powerful to change people on abortion than simply showing them the pictures… When people see what abortion does to a baby, they are stung to the heart and their consciences are awakened.” Should not our reaction always be one of fright, disgust and extreme heart-wrenching sorrow? When working against the hardened hearts of adults who have hidden themselves from the reality of the violence of abortion, it would seem that these tactics are particularly effective.

But what if you were six years old…what would you think? Could your parents explain it away in a nice, tidy manner that would make it okay to display this dead child’s body? Can a death so horrible, delivered by the hands of those who should love, protect and nurture this life be explained that easily to one so young? Would you be surprised if this young child consequently had nightmares after seeing these images; contemplating and hearing the horrible reality? Would it be surprising if eventually, after years of viewing these images, the child ceased to weep or feel revulsion, having become desensitized after having seen them so often?

I’m simply not satisfied with the answer that seems to imply that “the end justifies the means” when it comes to exposing young children to images of such extreme and graphic violence. Our young and innocent ones should never be asked to bear this adult burden of knowledge. Somehow, I can’t imagine our Lady carrying one of these banners…I imagine Her banner would hold the body of another Innocent Victim. One that doesn’t scandalize the innocence of childhood, but convicts the heart of the sinner with a message of everlasting peace, love and redemption.

As a nine year old, I gazed upon a lovely photo of a child who had been murdered. Not his beaten and bruised body. A beautiful photo of a living child. And I’m haunted by the image and the knowledge of the death of that very small boy.

I believe these images are necessary and can be a powerful tool when placed in the right hands, and used properly. But their efficacy is certainly far below that of prayerful and peaceful protest. As we are trying to to change the hearts of adults, these images should never be used in the presence of young children. No adult, no matter how well-intentioned in this very important fight has the right to scandalize the innocence of another parent’s children. We mustn’t make the fatal mistake of discounting the sensitivity of our little ones just because we understand, because the stakes are so high and because we’ve begun to believe that only by extreme action will we accomplish our goals.

Have we really entered a place where we believe that the bloody image of an aborted child has more power to convert than the image of our Lord crucified? What of the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe? Did not our Lady appear in radiant splendor, beauty Her banner, to counter the horrors of human sacrifice?

Evil is rampant in our world. We would never take our children into the “dens of iniquity” to show them that evil exists. It is scandalous to expose young children to a graphic depiction of any despicable, sinful or perverse act… we must preserve and protect their innocence with the same vigilance that we have for the babies being lost to abortion.

Last week, the children and I participated in a peaceful protest outside an abortion clinic, taking our turn as prayerful witnesses for the sanctity of life. No sign holding, no passing out literature. Just prayer. Remembering this: “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words” – St. Francis of Assisi.

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Kimberly

I am a traditional Catholic homeschooling mother of 9 children, married for 34 years to the most patient and sainted man. As converts to Catholicism in 1991, our family has only recently discovered the beauty and full expression of our beliefs in the beautiful Tridentine Rite also commonly referred to as the Latin Mass. An avid knitter, I also enjoy gardening, reading and immersing myself in the everyday graces of my vocation.

Thank you for posting this…this is something that is relevant in my own life. For the last 8 years my husband and I have been praying outside of an abortion center that specializes in late-term abortion. During this time, we have taken our children with us to peacefully pray. They know that abortion takes the life of an innocent child and harms the mothers/fathers, as well. That is the extent of what they know.

We just marched for life this past weekend at our state’s capital and while there was a plea for “no graphic images”….they showed up anyway. As we started our march, proceeding from the capital building…there they were…the giant posters of the graphic images.

I regret to say, my Mama Bear came out and I lost my cool. (and I typically am a calm person) I told them they should not have them [the posters] out, they will give my children nightmares, are they even thinking about the innocence of my children!? I regained my emotion but my children, the seven we have so far, are 11 yrs. to 10 months old. My husband & I… have tried hard to preserve their innocence and thankfully I was able to have my children close their eyes. However, they did see “bits” of them before I noticed…And my vivacious, sanguine daughter…8 years old…did see one of the posters in full and I cannot regain her innocence. Sadly.

I know we take the risk of the children being exposed when we go to the rally & march. However, I really think that there needs to be more of an out-cry from parents to say “STOP” the use of the graphic images out in the open where children have no choice but to see them.

It is definitely time! If only these well-meaning adults would manifest the same care and concern for living children that they have for those being aborted, I believe we can and will change this. When this article was first published in 2008 I was accused by more than a dozen pro-life Catholics of not being pro-life enough. It was heartrending, but a price I’m willing to pay to protect my children and others who know enough about abortion to be horrified, but have yet been spared the graphic reality. Thank you so much for your kind comment and for sharing your experience. God bless you!

I have mixed emotions regarding the article I just read & understand the position of the writer in protecting children from the woes of wickedness in the world, however, I also reflected on OUR LADY OF FATIMA. She did not spare those 3 children from the horror of HELL. It made it a reality & was fixed on their hearts, minds & souls. She did not spare them from suffering, but instead instilled in them the need to pray ALWAYS for the conversion of SINNERS.
I think those FATIMA children were so touched in their innocence, that they never ceased praying, sacrificing & doing pennence for the conversion of the the world.
Would they, without the vission of Hell, been so dilligent, had Our Lady of Fatima spared them from the reality of HELL where the souls of poor sinners go?

Dear Mary…thank you so much for your thoughtful, prayerful comment. However, I must point out the obvious disparities between what the children of Fatima experienced, under the preparation, protection and insistence of Our Lady; and what little children are being subjected to by other adults who are not their parents…and are most certainly not Our Lady. The little children in Fatima saw the reality of Hell and all its horror, and the poor souls who were their BY THEIR CHOICE. This led the children to offer many prayers and sufferings to unite with Christ’s suffering and thereby work to save other souls. The bodies of these little children that are on display are real…they have souls…and names known only to God…and were murdered by the choice of another. Their bodies deserve the same reverence and respect that we, as Catholics, owe to the dead. They are not our property, we have no right to display them, like props, to make a point…especially to children. When Our Lady showed Francisco, Jacinta and Lucia Hell, she didn’t show any of the other children present…this was a grace given to those children at that time. Our little ones are assaulted by sights and sounds all the time. We would never take them to an adult bookstore to show them the evils of pornography and its victims. One day, only too soon, our young ones will grow up, and will be ready to confront the full truth of abortion. But not now. Not when we wouldn’t even allow them to see an R rated movie…and these images are worse than anything I’ve ever seen in my life…because they are real. God bless you, Mary…I know you are a tireless advocate for life, as am I. My children know the reality of this evil…but as long as I can protect them, I will do what Our Lady would prefer, and that would be to keep them safe under Her mantle, and in the proper season, reveal those things that have been kept hidden.

I completely agree on the importance of protecting our children’s innocence and purity. However, I would challenge you one step further. I think that you compromise your children’s spiritual purity by purposely taking them near a place in which you know with absolute certainty that evil, vile even demonic things are occurring. Would you take your child anywhere near a seance or some other Satanic ritual? Obviously, Catholic families have a serious obligation to pray for an end to abortion, and some individuals may be called to witness and reach out to others in the grip of this evil in a more direct way, but it need not be in a public venue to be effective. We can pray and make sacrifices with our children from our homes or in front of the Blessed Sacrament and continue to fight abortion, perhaps even more effectively, on the spiritual front. This was, after all, the message of Our Lady of Fatima. A family’s first obligation is to protect its own living children from evil, not to expose them to it, even with the best of intentions. So while I completely agree that it is not appropriate for children to see these violent and real images of aborted children, as parents it is our obligation to protect and educate our children, not that of the well-meaning pro-lifer next to us. Just as Kim argues so eloquently that there is a certain irreverence using the images of these actual aborted human beings, “They are not our property, we have no right to display them, like props, to make a point….especially to children,” I would maintain the same of the living children that are being involved in these prayer vigils and protests–they are not props we use, no matter how desperate we are, to dissuade a passing woman from taking the life of her own unfortunate child.

Christina…you make an excellent point and my own dear husband feels the same way, and we’ve not taken the children back to the clinic. His thoughts were, of course, mostly geared towards safety issues…most of these clinics are located in places we’d never take the children and a busy street corner isn’t really the place for children under the best of circumstances…and these aren’t the best of circumstances. Your argument is particularly persuasive as it pertains towards the use of young LIVING children as a means of manipulating the emotions of others…I expressed my frustration just recently when Obama surrounded himself with children during a recent press conference on gun violence. Thank you for sharing this…it is an excellent reminder!

Free Traditional Catholic Planner: Embracing Tradition

My Mother…And Yours!

The most holy Virgin had more faith than all men and angels. She saw her Son in the crib of Bethlehem, and believed Him the Creator of the world. She saw Him fly from Herod, and yet believed Him the King of kings. She saw Him born, and believed Him eternal. She saw Him poor and in need of food, and believed Him the Lord of the universe. She saw Him lying on straw, and believed Him omnipotent. She observed that He did not speak, and she believed Him infinite wisdom. She heard Him weep, and believed Him the joy of Paradise. In fine, she saw Him in death, despised and crucified, and, although faith wavered in others, Mary remained firm in the belief that He was God.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Psalms 127:3-5

St. Thomas Aquinas – Patron of Sacred Heart Academy – Pray For Us!

A Student's Prayer
Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.
Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.
Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.
Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.
Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.
I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen. ---St. Thomas Aquinas

Litany Of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Our Homeschool Bookshelf

The Latin-Centered Curriculum
Climbing Parnassus
Prima Latina
Latina Christiana II
Lingua Angelica(br>
Famous Men Of Rome
Famous Men Of Greece
D'Aulaire's Greek Myths
The Children's Homer
Story Of The World I
Artner Reader's Guide to American History
Exploring Creation With Biology
Exploring Creation With Botany
Along The Alphabet Path
The Flower Fairy Series
An Alphabet Of Catholic Saints
Spencerian Penmanship
Spelling Power
Jensen's Grammar
Format Writing
Christ The King Lord Of History
Traditional Logic
Classical Kids
Schuster Bible History
The Story of the Church
Baltimore Catechism
Writing Can Help
Our Father and Mother on Earth and in Heaven
American Cardinal Readers
TYCTR in 100 Easy Lessons
Saxon and MCP Math
Language of God
MCP Phonics
Square Notes - Gregorian Chant Workbook
Alfred's Basic Piano