Puff the wonderful

What daddy? What seems to be the problem as Puffy continues to piddle on the porch right outside daddy’s bedroom?

STOP that right NOW. There is no need for you to do your business right outside my door when we have lots of other areas where you could do that at.

But daddy I heard that spreading the piddle around our property would help keep the wild animals away so I’m only trying to protect you.

Puffy! I said to STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!! Go someplace else and piddle. Get away from my door.

Puffy hurries up and finishes his business right where he was and then runs off to find Coco. Five minutes later Puffy brings Coco over to daddy’s porch and lifts his leg again to show Coco how much he loves his daddy - BOL

As a boy dog and of utmost appreciation of the tree right off the deck (Mom has dubbed it the "Morning Wood Tree"), I am quite surprised your Daddy does not support the morning release in the "outside". After all, doesn't he just go in the same ol' room all the time? No snow in his toes. No mud sticking to his paw pads. What kind of fun is that?