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Monday, March 2, 2015

Positivity Project; Working on Me.

Happy Monday! Hope everyone had a great weekend. We didn't do much at all - a lot of HGTV. Although KC tried to watch a basketball game on Sunday night and it was blocked in our area, which made him really mad. It better not be a frequent occurrence otherwise my glowing review of Sling TV will not be so glowing.I am sure you have seen these posts around - kudos to Amanda for starting such a lovely project. I have loved reading other people's posts but really struggled to write my own. However, as it was a goal for January, I forced myself to sit down and churn it out. Then I left it, and rewrote it because it was so Debbie Downer and I am so over being Kristen Downer.

This post was originally hard for me to write because it is not easy for me to talk about myself in a good way.. People say they like my smile, I say my teeth are crooked. People say I'm skinny, I have body issues. People say they love my hair, I say I have amazing best friends. It's never been easy for me to accept compliments or even say I like something about myself without first putting myself down. My motto was always 'as long as I don't hate myself'. Obviously, I am working on that.

1. Tell me something that you love about yourself

I love my legs. They are capable, and willing and they rarely let me down. They are there, they are strong, they take me everywhere. I may not be the fastest runner in the world, but I feel it. I feel like the fastest, strongest, happiest runner and that's all that matters. I am able to run, which is more than I can say for a lot of people and I don't ever want to take that for granted. Running makes me happy, and I love my legs for giving me that.

2. Tell me what you want to work on

Well, being nicer to myself of course. For the past 15 years, I have worked on not hating myself, inside and out. I struggle with the physical aspect more than I'd like to admit. I have really bad days sometimes, but I am better at recognising them and not sinking into a black hole of hating myself. I have gotten to the point that I don't hate the way I look - that doesn't mean I don't have those thoughts when I look in the mirror, but rather rationally and logically I can recognise good things about myself. Sometimes I really do feel awesome and amazing, and it's in huge part due to the amazing peoplein my life. It's that 15 year old in my head that is hard to drown out sometimes, but I'm working on it. Focusing on good things and what I am capable of rather than what I am not, what I have instead of what I haven't got.

3. Give someone a compliment and mean it

I used to be horrible at giving compliments because I couldn't see past my jealousy over whatever I was complimenting. But over the last 8 or so years, I have gotten so much better, and now I never give a compliment unless I truly mean it. And I really do mean all the nice, wonderful, lovely things I say to my friends - I don't feel an ounce of jealousy, I really am happy and proud of everyone. Today I am going to cheat and give a compliment to a two ladies - Tracy and Alyssa. They are both such lovely women, amazing athletes, inspiring on so many levels and have already taught me so much. They both seem to have such a hold on who they are and I just think that is fabulous. There are a million things I could compliment about them both because I genuinely do think they are amazing women and I'm glad to have met them both through blogging. They are both runners, of course, and I can't wait to see them in DC next weekend (!!).

4. Tell me something that you are proud of, succeeded in or are just generally pumped about.

I am proud that I am finally happy with who I am inside. This has been a long time coming, and I really do like myself now and am happy with my personality, flaws and all. I've gotten to the age where I don't care what other people think I should or shouldn't be doing, or if they don't agree with something I love; running, reading, cats, pride & prejudice - I can handle it a lot better than I used to. Something that really helped me was realising I can't (and don't!) like everyone and everything, so I cannot expect everyone to like me or the same things I do. Sure, sometimes assholes get me down but I used to get so far in a black hole that I struggled to get out. Now I'm all.. shake it off, shake it off.. Sorry, couldn't resist.Meanwhile, serious question here... can someone tell me why positivity is not a freaking word according to spell check? Red squiggly line, I do not believe you.

52 comments:

bahahahahahah can I tell you over this weekend I had a stomach drop moment when I realized that positivity is not really a word. Like I think I forced my spell check to accept it but it's not a real word. It's okay it makes sense for the project right? ;-)

I am sooooooo excited you wrote this post! It was so hard right? You did a beautiful job and I love hearing you compliment your fabulous self! xoxoxo

That's wonderful that you are finally happy with who you are. For the longest time I found it hard to compliment other girls because deep down I was just jealous of them, what they had or because they looked a certain way. Now I am better at complimenting others. Still working on myself! I think the only thing I like about me are my eyes... But overall I am a lot more positive about myself now than I ever was before!

What?! That HAS to be a word. *rolls eyes* I love this post and you're totally battling that second question like a champ! I also love that you love your legs not because they look great or some topical thing but a real tangible meaning that some people can't experience.

Wow...never realized how much we have in common until now. I'm finally getting to that point of self-love, too. Maybe 28 is the magic age? I've had the compliment issue, the body issues (still have those), and used to struggle to find anything (other than my writing) that I liked about myself. Now all of that is fading, and I couldn't be (and have never been) happier. I'm glad you're starting to love you; you seem like a pretty cool chick to me!

You've made so much progress! I think it's really inspiring and I'm glad you're able to see yourself in a more positive way now and to recognize when you're not so that you can fight it. I love Positivity Projects - they're so inspiring.

What a great project! I, with like every woman in the world, struggle with some body/esteem issues as well so it's important to point out the great things about ourselves and those around us :D You're beautiful and I seriously look to you for inspiration in life. Mean it!

positivity. <-- i just typed that to see if blogger/chrome would accept it and it does.

this is a fantastic project that i didn't even know was happening because i drafted a post last week to be scheduled about things i love about myself and telling everyone to do the same! now i actually have a reason to post it :D

you should be SO PROUD of how far you've come. accepting who you are and being comfortable in your own skin is a huge accomplishment. xoxoxoxox

Aww I am so happy you did this (and now I feel like I need to do it too!). I'm like you and spend a lot of time focusing on my flaws but the important part is being happy with who you are inside! And seriously, positivity has to be a word! Wait. I didn't get the red squiggly lines... maybe my spell check is broken? Haha! Happy Monday girl!

You are so incredibly honest and open and I love that about you!!! You are seriously an amazing person...I dont even know you IRL and I know this to be true!! I love how you said you love your legs, not for how they look but what they do for you!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

And for what it's worth, I think you're a lovely person! A woman who is funny, open and honest, and has REAL things to blog about, not just the crap she bought or the $hit she wants. You're well-read and therefore well-written. Accepting yourself does get easier with age, I can tell you that!

Aw, this was such a sweet post! I'm so proud of you for working on yourself, for learning to accept compliments and to see the good in you that others see! (And there is A LOT to see.) You also forgot to list that other people compliment you on your gorgeous bone structure. :)

Wait positivity isn't a word? I feel like I've been lied to my whole life?You are beautiful inside and out and I'm glad you've reached a place where you like yourself on the inside. It's not easy...but I think we get there the older we get.

Whatever, spell check lies! ;) Love this post and I love how you talked about not being mean to yourself! I think as girls we ALL struggle with this and it can be so hard to genuinely like yourself and see the good things about yourself!

Great post! Why is it so hard for so many women to overcome these feelings? I srruggle too and it makes me a feel a little better to know I am not alone. Way to focus on the positives, that is really the key and the rest will come. I think you are pretty amazing and gorgeous too!

I'm so glad you did this! You should have a million nice things to say about yourself because you are beautiful inside and out. I relate to a lot your struggles and I know it's so hard to overcome them (and so frustrating that it's so hard because it seems like it shouldn't be). Couldn't agree more about loving your legs. I hated my legs growing up because I've always been the short, stocky, athletic one who has never personally seen a thigh gap, while all my friends were tall and thin and looked like models. I will never forget the summer after my half marathon, being at the beach in a bikini and for the first time in my life not only not feeling embarrassed about my huge legs, but actually being happy and proud of them for what they were capable of doing.I'm so touched by your compliment and it's funny because I would say the exact same things about you, and probably not about myself. I've been meaning to do this as well but I'm just starting to get to the point after a couple months of suckiness where I feel like I might actually be able to say nice things and mean them, so maybe I'll give it a shot soon :)

Okay first of all, red squiggly line is an absolute asshole and I hate it.Second of all, I love that you wrote this post. I'm so proud of you for it. And I'm so happy you're coming around to seeing all the wonderful things I and so many others see in you. And I am way beyond flattered and honored to have been mentioned here. Thank you so much, my sweet friend. I can't wait to see you NEXT WEEKEND OMG! <3

I love how open and honest you are. I haven't joined in on this post because I would be negative nancy about everything. I love that you love your legs for making you strong and being able to run..and not because they are the best looking part of your body. I never noticed how superficial all the answers for that first one could be until I saw yours that wasn't!

You certainly need to love yourself because you are awesome!!! I wish you could see yourself how we all see you :) You rock girl, you keep being you!

That is totally a word, weird. Your legs totally carry you everywhere so it's awesome you appreciate them for what they allow you to do! So true as we age, we care less about what people think of us. Rock on with your bad self, girlfriend!!

Love this post since today I decided I'm going to focus on being positive again and take my happy back!!! One of my goals for the week is to smile more since last week had very few smiles - this post made me smile!!

I love reading these posts and am so glad you decided to write one too! Yes to being nicer to yourself- you're so right that getting older and wiser means caring less about other people's opinion. I get so much encouragement & inspiration from this space and all of your blog posts! I love Tracy & Alyssa's blogs too and hope I get to see/meet you guys when you're here for the race if you have time! I don't know why this post made me think of this pin: [https://www.pinterest.com/pin/206884176608285106/] Love it!

Oh I love this!! It makes me so happy to hear those amazing things you said about yourself because it really makes me sad when you put yourself down because you are seriously so beautiful inside and out so I love that you are getting better with loving yourself, because honestly you should! You are pretty damn awesome! Yes to not giving two shits what other people think! I think that is one of the best things I have learned as I grow up! Ps I hate blogger spell check it doesn't have a very large vocabulary haha!

I'm so glad that you did this! Wasn't it so hard to write?! I kept thinking that I seemed like I was bragging too much, ha! And I kept re-checking myself on my positivity spelling - how is that not a word?!

I love that you wrote this. I keep thinking I need to write one but like you, I just can't get mine out. I love that you are so passionate about running and keeping yourself healthy. You are always such an inspiration to me!

Changing your mindset will bring such wonderful happiness into your life! I have no idea why positivity keeps doing that. It does it to me on certain devices too. I'm really glad to hear you are seeking positivity and I am also happy to hear the progress you have made toward yourself! I always love coming to your blog and I have not been on blogging or commenting much lately but I am glad I came in today!

That's right! haters gonna hate! Good for you for letting go of those emotions that you've struggled with in the past! I think it's just a woman thing. It's like a natural instinct. A test from God or something. :)

This is such a wonderful post! It's definitely going on the list of "posts I need to write". And homegirl you've got get with #2 because I can think of about a gazillion responses to #1 when it comes to you :) But I get it. I'm really terrible at accepting compliments and frequently respond with a look akin to "go home, you're drunk" lol. We're all a work-in-progress and the most difficult part is acknowledging that! Go you for being able to shake off the nay-sayers! Also, I want to tell you what I love most about you. It's a tough choice, but I love how honest you are. You are so open here on the blog and so damn brave! <33333

Awww I love this post so so much. You're a wonderful person who is going to conquer so much in your future that will make the achievements so far seem so small but incredibly significant! :) POSITIVITY - It's a word, an amazing word!

You are awesome and I'm glad that you're finally starting to realize that! :D I hate the society puts so much pressure on us to look and act a certain way. We are not here to merely look good for other people. There is so much more to us than appearance. :) You are beautiful inside and out!

I love reading these posts. I think one of the most important things I came to terms with is that not everyone is going to like me. It's crazy because after I realized that I just sort of accepted it and moved on. It's very freeing to feel that you don't have to please everyone and should focus on living life on your terms instead.

Loving these posts! I still need to get my butt in gear and do mine :-P

Love your comment about your legs, I need to love mine more and trust them more lol. They can doooo it! And yes shake it all off, I'm currently dealing with a hater for no other reason then they love to hate for no reason lol. Just shake it off and rise above it ;-)

Cheers to you and all your goals (as well as your accomplishments), friend! Being nicer is probably a life-long goal for me hah. It's so hard to not be "catty" or judgmental and it's just wrong. This was so refreshing to read :)

Kristen, this spoke to me. I am absolutely terrible at accepting and even more importantly, believing compliments. I'm even worse at identifying really positive things about myself. For example, there is a blog series called Operation Beautiful that I think is fantastic. I thought I should participate; then I couldn't come up with the answers for myself. I'm proud of you for this post. For what it's worth, I think you're beautiful. I think you're sweet and funny. I think you should love yourself more. HUGS.

Awesome! I've been focusing on some 'me time' and baby steps in the health department. So far, so good. Hoping it helps me get back to being more positive. Ever since graduating college, or maybe a year later I've been feeling pretty aimless and therefore less healthy and certainly less confident. Can't hurt to try! :) XO-Alexandra