Florida's First Choice for Autism Support

Posts tagged ‘communication’

In today’s world, I try my best to not be cynical; to maintain a positive outlook on life despite all the divisiveness that’s going on in our society. However, even in my best moments I can’t deny the volatility that exists in certain places, and nowhere is this more apparent than the internet. In particular, online forums like Reddit or micro-blogging sites like twitter. Now obviously everyone is free to say and do whatever they’d like online. In the overwhelming majority of cases you’re not in any physical danger, but I do have some suggestions on how to make your time on the internet as enjoyable and non-confrontational as possible. I do this because many people on the autism spectrum are naïve. Mind you, this is not a knock on anyone, as I would certainly include myself in that category.

Allow me to get this one out of the way as soon as possible: unless you’re going into political science in college or something similar, try to stay away from political discussions. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t stay informed; in fact, I encourage everyone (autism or not) to keep up with current events. Just make sure to check as many sources as you can to avoid false information. No, what I’m talking about are the comment sections. Chances are, you go to the comment sections of any political post on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc. and you’re going to encounter a firestorm of negativity and vile. If you value your sanity and self-worth as an individual, keep your distance.

Repeat after me: anonymity is key. Again, in writing these blogs, my hope is for them to be of use for at least a few people. This is a mistake I know many with autism make, and it is so important to remember. Do not give out your real identity or personal information to anyone ever. Predators know how innocent people on the spectrum can be, and they’ll use that to their advantage, either to scam you or have some mean-spirited fun. Besides the obvious financial issues that arise, this can lead to a plethora of nightmarish scenarios such as doxing or swatting. It’s harrowing to read about some of these occurrences, and it can be a mentally scarring experience, so please tread carefully and protect your privacy.

Unless you’re talking with a trusted source, or if it pertains to your health, try not to disclose your ASD to strangers online. Having autism, unfortunately, has become somewhat of a stigma in certain corners of the internet. Being forward and upfront about your diagnosis just invites cyber bullying and other cruel treatment. On the flip side, don’t try to use your ASD as a catch-all for avoiding any criticism. For better or worse, when you post something online, it is truly there forever, and is open for scrutiny. The world is never going to stay silent on anything you say or do just because you have autism. In fact, many will see it as a feeble attempt to garner sympathy if you use your condition as an excuse, something I’ve learned the hard way before.

We’ll be shifting gears this time around to talk about something a bit more serious. There’s been a trend in my blogs to write about subjects which hold significance to me for one reason or another, as I find it much easier to write when you can personally relate to the topic at hand. This week is no different, as I’ll be discussing loneliness and how it affects people on the autism spectrum. Due to the socialization issues faced by those with autism, making and (perhaps most importantly) keeping friends can be a daunting task, despite our pure intentions. This lack of companionship can be highly damaging to anyone, let alone individuals on the spectrum. However, I promise if you just keep at it, and stay true to yourself, eventually good friends will come along. But I digress, let’s get into it.

From what I could find, apparently there used to be an idea that people with autism didn’t feel lonely or, at the very least, weren’t as severely impacted by it as others. I find this idea dubious at best. One study from the University of Missouri measured “loneliness, number and nature of friendships, depression, anxiety, life satisfaction, and self-esteem.” It was discovered that among this demographic, a lack of close friends increased depression and anxiety, while lowering self-esteem and satisfaction with life. This holds true for myself and everyone else I’ve ever known with autism.

It is possible that many people, mostly children, with ASD may not understand the connection between loneliness and real friendship. Making acquaintances is one thing, but having a true friend who’ll be there for you through thick and thin is difficult for so many of us. According to Tony Attwood, a well-known figure in the autism community in Australia, children with autism have weaker friendships than their neurotypical peers and don’t understand that their loneliness stems from that. “Whereas typical children define and understand loneliness as being alone (with no one to play with) and feelings of sadness, the majority of autistic children define loneliness as only one dimension of being alone. They tend to not attribute an emotional feeling (e.g. sadness) to their loneliness.” That degree of sadness that they don’t quite understand leads to intense feelings of depression and loneliness which is almost impossible to break out of.

As I’ve alluded to, the true cure for the devastating effects of loneliness is to forge strong friendships. A few years ago, I made 2 friends who are the best I’ve ever had, and for the first time I feel truly happy in my life. I feel better about myself than ever before. And this idea is definitely supported. From the first study I referenced, it was found that a “greater quantity and quality of friendships were associated with decreased loneliness among adults with autism spectrum disorders.” Interacting with the social world we live in can be challenging, and even scary at times, but as I said before, just keep being you and one day the right people will notice, and make a great friend in the process.

For those who may not be familiar with the term “anime,” I will provide a brief overview for reference. Simply put, anime is at its core, animated material originating from Japan. Think of them as Japanese cartoons, though there are some differences such as story structure and animation style.

But that’s not the purpose of this blog post; instead, I would like to focus on something that, while mostly anecdotal in nature, is something that I’ve always noticed and hits close to home with me. I am referring to the wide appeal anime typically has to people with autism spectrum disorder. It was difficult to find hard data or research on this topic, but with what little I could find, along with my own experiences, I’ve compiled some reasons as to why anime is as popular as it is among those with autism.

First and foremost is the element of escapism. Of course, this could be said of most mediums, not just anime. However, anime has a few advantages that separate it from many of its contemporaries. In anime, many main characters are social recluses; outcasts who have yet to find their own niches in life. Suddenly, they’re thrust into a magical world full of wonder and adventure where everyone accepts them. Almost every anime in existence has a bit of the classic “power of friendship” trope where the once-timid hero saves the day through the unbreakable bonds he’s forged with the rest of the cast. Most reading this can see why such a thing would be so appealing to someone on the autism spectrum. Many of us are awkward in social situations, and dream of having tons of friends who accept us for who we are. The presence of such things in anime is very alluring.

Reading non-verbal cues and noticing subtlety is not a strong suit for those with ASD. It’s one of the few nearly universal traits in fact. Fortunately, anime’s got that covered! Japanese animation does not focus on subtle movements and gestures in the same way Western cartoons do, and in order to compensate, a character’s emotions are put on full display using extremely obvious visual cues. For example, if a character is in love, hearts will appear over them. If they’re nervous, sweat drops will envelop them. If they’re angry, they’ll start heating up and their eyes will get cross, etc. Here is a great example:

Anime storytelling does a good job of always letting the audience know what is going on and how characters are feeling, which is good for those of us who cannot always easily discern such things.

Finally, is a pretty simple reason actually. The anime community is one of the most welcoming, tolerant groups out there. People with autism are often afraid of what the general population will think of them, and the thought of socializing is terrifying. Interest in anime is generally looked down upon by those who aren’t familiar with the medium, and as a result, are very warm towards those few who do share their interests. Those on the spectrum who’d ordinarily be afraid to express themselves, can find acceptance among those who share a common passion.

It’s no secret that technology has completely changed the face of society, especially in the boom of the past 20 years or so. We have things like smart phones, tablets, notebooks, smart watches, etc. which have made things so much easier for all of us. But how does this affect those on the autism spectrum? In what ways can we utilize this new amazing technology to improve life for people with autism and their families? It can act as either a learning tool or a great source of entertainment depending on the context.

Perhaps the most prevalent use of technology in regards to people on the spectrum is that of “assistive technology.” The Technology-Related Assistance for Individuals with Disabilities Act of 1988 describes assistive technology as “any item, piece of equipment, or product system, whether acquired commercially, off-the-shelf, modified or customized, that is used to increase, maintain, or improve functional capabilities of individuals with disabilities,” in this case autism. One good example I can think of is an app that one of my mom’s good friends uses with her son called “First-Then Visual Schedule.” Oftentimes visual learning is the primary method for those with autism, and this $10 app helps present a visually stimulating schedule that will help people keep better track of their lives. This is just one example, there are many more out there that do a myriad of different things; here’s a convenient list on parenting.com that features 11 apps including the aforementioned First-Then Visual Schedule.

Technology is not confined to the assistive variety, in fact many use it as a way to stave off boredom. It’s no secret that children with autism particularly love video games, as they talk about here, and with the rise of casual gaming brought about by tablets, there’s a never-ending supply of fun to be had. While tech addiction is a real thing and should be avoided, sometimes as a parent you just need some time to yourself. One of the best ways to keep your children occupied is to get your kid a video game system, or even just an iPad with Candy Crush, Crossy Road or Angry Birds, and they can keep themselves busy for hours at a time. Trust me, I speak from 21+ years of experience.

One interesting thing I would like to highlight is this little gem: Project EVO. It’s a therapeutic tablet game made specifically for kids with autism. Here’s what CBS said about Project EVO: “As they [the kids] go through the game they are supposed to skirt around certain objects while choosing others. The idea is to condition the brain to sift through and organize information in real time, requiring a player to stay focused on the task at hand.” It’s a very interesting concept. The game has not yet been released, but I look forward to tracking its progress.

It’s no big secret that high school can be a challenge for anyone, not just those on the spectrum, but for many of them, the struggle is greater than any other. They’re still growing up, many have yet to learn any true applicable life skills, and classes can be a challenge if the teacher is incapable of keeping the pace of their lessons at an acceptable level for all of their students. Many go through that phase where everything their parents say is wrong and they’re always right (don’t worry we all do it). These are just some of the many issues which can make high school so difficult. I know for me personally, high school had its ups sure, but on the whole I barely made it through at times, often only passing due to the intervention of my mom or dad chatting with my teachers and getting me back on the right track. Here, I want to discuss some issues facing students with autism in high school, and perhaps some solutions that can help resolve the main issues.

Nowadays, students with ASD participating in general education classrooms is trending. Many are beginning to feel that just because a kid has autism, doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t receive the same knowledge as everyone else. For those who may not be “in-the-know” about what autism is, some of the most common characteristics are difficulty in social situations, an inability to spot sarcasm or tone of voice, repetitious actions, and a general aversion to change. According to Veronica Fleury of UNC’s Center on Secondary Education for Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders, “Many educators find that they’re not prepared to adapt their instruction methods to meet both state standards and the diverse needs of students with autism.” In a similar study, it was noted that students on the spectrum had a disproportionately high participation in the STEM fields compared to the general populace, regardless of gender or income. If that’s really the case, then it’s apparent that high schools need to prepare these students with the necessary skills for achieving their goals, as STEM fields are some of the most difficult to succeed in.

Another thing to keep in mind, especially if you are a teacher, is that a lot of individuals on the spectrum have unique (or at least different) learning styles. When planning for instruction, keep in mind that for the most part, students with ASD are visual learners, literal learners, and require consistency, according to this resource. For example, out-of-nowhere pop quizzes and numerous hands-on activities aren’t going to be very effective for most, as they’ll quickly lose interest and won’t absorb a single word coming out of your mouth. Be forthcoming and explicit with your expectations, don’t leave anything up for interpretation or else the student may not understand what they’re supposed to do in a given situation.

Additionally, try to keep the student engaged with other members of the classroom. If given the chance, many with autism will clam up and not want to socialize at all. This simply isn’t going to cut it in the real world, so try to prepare them by having them participate in group work. If you follow these tips, dealing with your student should be much easier.

Father’s Day is coming up and I wanted to devote this blog to all the wonderful fathers out there! Earlier this month, I got to visit with local autism dad Olando Rivera, former champion kick boxer and owner of the B.A. Warrior gym here in Tampa. If you’d like to read about my visit and get some great input from a primary source, please feel free to check out here.

It’s no real secret that compared to mothers, fathers don’t receive nearly the same amount of appreciation for what they do. To be fair, there are (mostly cultural) reasons for this. With many families in America, the dad is out working most of the day while the mom stays home and raises the kids. There is no study to support the claim that women naturally have more compassion than men do, though according to this article, women express compassion more often through “nurturing and bonding behaviors,” which is advantageous when taking care of a child with autism. Like most things, however, these are just generalizations, and not always the case. There’s a national trend lately that’s seeing more and more dads act as the primary caregivers in the household. Pew Research reported in June 2014 that at least 2 million men are stay at home dads in the US alone and that number has surely risen since then. So the men are there, and they’re not going anywhere! And this is in no way meant to marginalize the impact or importance of moms; quite the opposite in fact. The mom is the wheel that keeps the whole family spinning, and without them we’d all be lost. This is more about giving thanks to the dads out there, who are just as important and should be respected as such!

To all the moms out there: please, encourage your husband to take a more proactive role in your child’s life. If you read what Olando had to say, follow that advice. His bond with his son is so strong because he got involved, broke down that barrier that so many kids on the spectrum erect, and both father and son are stronger for it. Ultimately though, it’s up to the dads to take that big step. Olando had a great quote: “There’s nothing you can do to change your situation, other than change your situation.” This is very true. A very similar thing happened to my own dad a few years ago. Before I got my diagnosis, my relationship with him was rocky. Not terrible, but we never really connected all that well. After the diagnosis, and after seeing a family therapist, he completely turned things around; he “changed his situation.” Now he and I have a wonderful relationship and I love him dearly. Its stories like Olando’s and hopefully even my own that we’re trying to create more of here at CARD, by raising awareness leading up to Father’s Day.

This Father’s Day, remember to give your dad a big hug, maybe get him a little gift, and most importantly, let him know how much you love and appreciate him!

Holiday and birthday gifts. Ask friends and families to give Apple/iTune gift cards instead of other gifts. Local businesses, community, or charity groups sometimes help with community fundraising by having special events.
Some credit cards give points that can be redeemed for an iPad or cash to purchase an iPad.