Monday, March 3, 2008

Humph

Despite good things happening, I have felt really irritated lately. I think a lot of it is due to being worn out and not feeling good. I've had a lot of sinus headaches the last several days. I just haven't felt 100%. Plus, I'm halfway through my semester, and all the work is starting to catch up to me. I'm taking this Friday off, and I hope that helps me get some rest.

I've been rather irritated at my friends. I found out that K, the pg friend due in May, had not told her husband that we were doing surrogacy or anything about our progress. This came from K's husband himself. Gratifyingly, he was annoyed with her for keeping it from him, and I was stunned. It has been about 6 months since we decided to do surrogacy and that includes two meetings with the surrogate and a clinic meeting. K knew all this. I can't believe she didn't tell him. I think I have mentioned that she is a little flaky, and being pg has definitely exacerbated that tendency, but come on! Part of me wonders whether her not telling him anything about it indicates that how little our lives matter to her. K and her husband apparently don't communicate. This not the first time we've heard him complain about something she hasn't passed along. Our other friends seem to have that problem as well. It baffles us, though. I tell Husband EVERYTHING. We talk a lot. Are we so rare? I can't imagine living with someone and not talking to them. It's like leading separate lives.

So it seems like surrogacy is the latest hot topic in the entertainment industry. I'm dreading that new show (The Return of Jezebel James or something like that) with Parker Posey in which she asks her sister to be her surrogate. And then there's that Tina Fey movie about surrogacy that's coming out this spring. I just can't bring myself to watch them. I'm sure they'll get everything wrong, and I dread friends and family watching them and thinking that's what surrogacy is like. I'm already having to correct people that no, surrogacy is NOT my surrogate's JOB.

Oh. Something weird. (TMI ahead) I posted back in December that I thought my endometrioma had ruptured after I woke up with horrible pain one night. I spotted a lot the next few cycles on continuous BCPs. I had a withdrawal bleed last week and then I realized that I wasn't spotting after it ended. You don't understand...I have spotted more than not during the last year. Spotting has become my normal. But here it is cd12 and no spotting. Does that prove that it was the endometrioma all along that caused my spotting? And what does that mean for my failed IVF cycle last year? Should the RE have drained the endometrioma during egg retrieval? I remember how devastated I was when I started to spot at 7dp3dt (I spotted for about 4 days before AF every cycle). We all know how hindsight is, but now I'm wondering about that cycle and whether the outcome would have been different if that endometrioma had been drained. Probably not, but I'll never know for sure.

3 comments:

Hope you are feeling better soon (I'm actually home from work today due to my crazy migraine - I never get them, maybe Lupron induced?). Sorry about your friend acting weird, it is funny how some people don't talk to their husbands. As for your endometrioma, I have heard of people spotting for a long time from them, I'm hoping yours stops. That's got to be frustrating!

The few times surrogacy has come up, I always am amazed as to how little people understand about it. There are definately a lot of misconceptions about it. How are things going with yours? Hopefully really good!

I will watch both the movie and the TV show with my hands over my eyes and peeking through my fingers. I already don't like the stereotypes that both are perpetuating: all IMs are career-driven rich women who missed the moment and surrogates are clueless, unsettled, money-depraved individuals who had nothing else better to do. Yuck. Surrogacy will never take the proper footing in the public light when the media portrays it in this manner.