Sunday, May 31, 2009

WICHITA, Kan. — George Tiller's slaying has accomplished what anti-abortion activists had tried to do for decades: The doors to his Kansas clinic will shut forever.

The announcement Tuesday from Tiller's family was a tainted victory for the nation's anti-abortion movement. For years, it made Tiller the focus of protests, legislation and legal attacks. His death reignited a public debate over some abortion opponents' tactics and left many wondering how it will transform the abortion battleground.

Now that Tiller and his clinic are gone, the epicenter of the anti-abortion movement is less clear. Kansas has long been a lightning rod in the hot-button social issue — and in 2002, the leader of the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue even moved his organization to the city to wage an aggressive campaign. With the clinic's doors closed, the movement loses one of its key protest symbols.

"Part of what is a tragedy about this is that violence has achieved its objective," said Nancy Northup, president of Center for Reproductive Rights. "There is a concerted, ongoing effort at harassment and restriction with an aim to make doctors leave the field."

Operations at Women's Health Care Services Inc. were suspended following Tiller's death last month. In a statement released by his attorneys, Tiller's family said relatives had chosen to honor him with charitable activities instead of reopening the clinic.

"We are proud of the service and courage shown by our husband and father and know that women's health care needs have been met because of his dedication and service," the family said in the statement. They did not elaborate on their reasoning to close.

Tiller, who had said women with access to prenatal testing needed options in case those tests uncovered severe fetal abnormalities, was shot to death May 31 while serving as an usher at his Lutheran church. Prosecutors have charged abortion opponent Scott Roeder, 51, with first-degree murder and aggravated assault in Tiller's death.

For now, Operation Rescue has no plans to leave Wichita and the group's leader, Troy Newman, called the family's decision to close the clinic "bittersweet." He said his group wants to close abortion clinics but, "I want to see them close through peaceful, legal nonviolent means."

Tiller's clinic had long served as a rally point for abortion opponents. Most protests were peaceful, but his clinic was bombed in 1986 and he was shot in both arms in 1993. In 1991, a 45-day "Summer of Mercy" campaign organized by Operation Rescue drew thousands of abortion opponents to Wichita and there were more than 2,700 arrests.

Tiller's clinic was one of a handful of clinics across the country that perform third-term abortions. Kansas state law allows abortions on viable fetuses after the 21st week only if carrying the pregnancy to term would endanger the mother's life or cause a "substantial and irreversible impairment" of a major bodily function. Courts have interpreted a "major bodily function" to include mental health.

Colorado doctor Warren Hern, Tiller's longtime friend who also performs late-term abortions, called the closing an "outrage." He said he knows that for the rest of his life, he will be a target of the anti-abortion movement.

"How much can you resist this kind of violence?" he said. "What doctor, what reasonable doctor would work there? Where does it stop?"

At least one doctor, LeRoy Carhart, had expressed an interest in reopening Tiller's clinic. Following the family's decision to shut it down, the Nebraska doctor said he wouldn't abandon his effort to make sure third-term abortions are available but did not elaborate on his plans.

"I completely understand and sympathize with this decision," he said in a statement.

By Roxana Hegeman and John Hanna

Associated Press

"I am currently exploring every option to be able to continue to make second and early medically indicated third trimester abortions available."

Reaction to the clinic's closing ranged from sympathy from abortion rights supporters to relief from some anti-abortion groups. Planned Parenthood Federation of America saod the decision to close was difficult for the Tiller family, while Randall Terry, who founded Operation Rescue before a falling-out with the organization, said "good riddance" when he heard about the closing.

"If his replacement was going to continue to kill late-term children, the protests would continue, the investigations would continue, the indictments would continue," said Terry, who stopped using the Operation Rescue name following numerous lawsuits in 1990. He said history would remember Tiller's clinic as it remembers Auschwitz and other Nazi concentration camps.

Others were more subdued. Mary Kay Culp, executive director of Kansans for Life, said it was "really tragic" to have violence close the clinic when the state's medical board was pursuing a complaint that could have cost Tiller his license.

The complaint before the State Board of Healing Arts, which licenses and regulates doctors in Kansas, alleged Tiller violated a state law that required him to obtain a second opinion from an independent physician, and it accused him of engaging in unprofessional or dishonorable conduct. A board spokeswoman has said since the shooting the case probably will be closed.

Said Newman in an e-mail: "Operation Rescue was just two months away from getting Tiller's medical license revoked, and that would have accomplished the same goal."

Ok I know I said the next blog was going to be about chromosomes but this has to be addressed! I just saw that Tiller was killed and my first reaction was joy! Then I saw it was in his church and in front of his family and that made me sad it also makes me sad that he will never see whats coming to him in a legal aspect of it all. I really was hoping he would be stopped he kills viable baby's but I didn't hope it would be in this way. Why kill because of killing then we are just as bad as him! I will pray for his family to have peace and pray that God has mercy on his soul and shows him the error of his way.SOOOOO many baby's have died at his hand.

Here is the Story:

Kan. abortion doc killed in church; suspect heldAP

he body of Dr. George Tiller is removed from the Reformation Lutheran Church in AP – The body of Dr. George Tiller is removed from the Reformation Lutheran Church in Wichita, Kan., Sunday, …

WICHITA, Kan. – Dr. George Tiller, one of the nation's few providers of late-term abortions despite decades of protests and attacks, was shot and killed Sunday in a church where he was serving as an usher.

The gunman fled, but a 51-year-old suspect was detained some 170 miles away in suburban Kansas City three hours after the shooting, Wichita Deputy Police Chief Tom Stolz said.

Although Stolz refused to release the man's name, Johnson County sheriff's spokesman Tom Erickson identified the detained man as Scott Roeder. He has not been charged in the slaying and was expected to be taken to Wichita for questioning.

Police did not release a motive for the shooting. But the doctor's violent death was the latest in a string of shootings and bombings over two decades directed against abortion clinics, doctors and staff.

Long a focus of national anti-abortion groups, including a summer-long protest in 1991, Tiller was shot in the foyer of Reformation Lutheran Church. Tiller's attorney, Dan Monnat, said Tiller's wife, Jeanne, was in the choir at the time.

The slaying of the 67-year-old doctor is "an unspeakable tragedy," his widow, four children and 10 grandchildren said in statement. "This is particularly heart-wrenching because George was shot down in his house of worship, a place of peace."

The family said its loss "is also a loss for the city of Wichita and women across America. George dedicated his life to providing women with high-quality health care despite frequent threats and violence."

Stolz said all indications were that the gunman acted alone, although authorities were investigating whether he had any connection to anti-abortion groups.

Tiller's Women's Health Care Services clinic is one of just three in the nation where abortions are performed after the 21st week of pregnancy. The clinic was heavily fortified and Tiller often traveled with a bodyguard, but Stolz said there was no indication of security at the church Sunday.

Anti-abortion groups denounced the shooting and stressed that they support only nonviolent protest. The movement's leaders fear the killing could create a backlash just as they are scrutinizing U.S. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, whose views on abortion rights are not publicly known.

"We are shocked at this morning's disturbing news that Mr. Tiller was gunned down," Troy Newman, Operation Rescue's president, said in a statement. "Operation Rescue has worked for years through peaceful, legal means, and through the proper channels to see him brought to justice. We denounce vigilantism and the cowardly act that took place this morning."

President Barack Obama said he was "shocked and outraged" by the murder. "However profound our differences as Americans over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence," he said.

At Tiller's church, Adam Watkins, 20, said he was sitting in the middle of the congregation when he heard a small pop at the start of the service.

"We just thought a child had come in with a balloon and it had popped, had gone up and hit the ceiling and popped," Watkins said.

Another usher came in and told the congregation to remain seated, then escorted Tiller's wife out. "When she got to the back doors, we heard her scream, and so we knew something bad had happened," Watkins said.

He said the service continued even after an associate pastor announced that Tiller had been injured. "We were just really shocked," he said. "We were kind of dumbfounded. We couldn't really believe it had happened."

Tiller had in the past endured threats and violence. A protester shot Tiller in both arms in 1993, and his clinic was bombed in 1985. More recently, Monnat said Tiller had asked federal prosecutors to step up investigations of vandalism and other threats against the clinic out of fear that the incidents were increasing and that Tiller's safety was in jeopardy. Stolz, however, said police knew of no threats connected to the shooting.

In early May, Tiller had asked the FBI to investigate vandalism at his clinic, including cut wires to surveillance cameras and damage to the roof that sent rainwater pouring into the building.

In 1991, the Summer of Mercy protests organized by Operation Rescue drew thousands of anti-abortion activists to this city for demonstrations marked by civil disobedience and mass arrests.

Tiller began providing abortion services in 1973. He acknowledged abortion was as socially divisive as slavery or prohibition but said the issue was about giving women a choice when dealing with technology that can diagnose severe fetal abnormalities before a baby is born.

"Dr. Tiller's murder will send a chill down the spines of the brave and courageous providers and other professionals who are part of reproductive-health centers that serve women across this country. We want them to know that they have our support as they move forward in providing these essential services in the aftermath of the shocking news from Wichita," Keenan said.

The last killing of an abortion doctor was in October 1998 when Dr. Barnett Slepian was fatally shot in his home in a suburb of Buffalo, N.Y. A militant abortion opponent was convicted of the murder.

Tiller's clinic is fortified with bulletproof glass, and Tiller hired a private security team to protect the facility. Once outside the clinic, Tiller was routinely accompanied by a bodyguard.

At a recent trial, he told jurors that he and his family have suffered years of harassment and threats and that he knew he was a target of anti-abortion protesters.

Federal marshals protected Tiller during the 1991 Summer of Mercy protests, and he was protected again between 1994 and 1998 after another abortion provider was assassinated and federal authorities reported finding Tiller's name on an assassination list.

Tiller remained prominent in the news, in part because of an investigation begun by former Kansas Attorney General Phill Kline, an abortion opponent.

Prosecutors had alleged that Tiller had gotten second opinions from a doctor who was essentially an employee of his, not independent as state law requires. A jury in March acquitted Tiller of all 19 misdemeanor counts.

"I am stunned by this lawless and violent act, which must be condemned and should be met with the full force of law," Kline said in a statement. "We join in lifting prayer that God's grace and presence rest with Dr. Tiller's family and friends."

Bryan LoganJoeyCollinWe didn't get the house we wanted so now we have to look at other options. Ugh it is hard when you have nothing and you don't know what is going to happen next and you have 5 kids!I always ask and wonder why my ex always get's a break in life even though he is the kind of "Person" he is but here I am trying to be good trying to do right and stay strong and I can't check a break for the life of me!! But as I always say good will provide I just have to keep my hope and faith that every thing will work out even when it is going badly.I have Faith that God has his hand on my life and is guiding me where I need to be and I just have to ride along until I am where he wants me to be. I know God has a plan for my family and I I know we where chose to do something great in this world it is just hard to see that it is right now.

On another note we have turned the guardianship papers to the court and we should have a hearing by Tuesday then comes the fight with Rachel's mother. I can't wait till this is all over with.

My next Blog will be on my childrens chromosome abnormalities I will bring the research I have done here and if any one read this you will know all that I know about:

I will talk about all the stuff I have learned and give links and such. I hope people will look at it and will have there children who have delays tested to see if they have Chromosome problems because I wish I would have when they were born but the test in not standardize on newborns that "seem" healthy so I didn't know until the delays were more sever if they would have done it at newborn stage we could have had preventative intervention and they may not have been so delayed today! So I am fighting to make it a standardized test at our hospital!

Tonight is another long sleepless one. The kind of night I sit up and think about my daughter and think Why!? Why God did this happen to me why my baby why my daughter?? Why!!!!!!!! Why couldn't she stay long enough for me to see her sweet face for me to share her with my family Why didn't I get to take Pictures of my daughter I this little person I already Loved so much My Sweet Sweet Sonya Marie. Then my chest gets tight and its hard to breath or see through the tears in my eyes and I know if I don't claim my self I will have a panic attack or something.I know she was taking because she was in pain.How could I be left here to live in so much pain with out my sweet little girl?My heart is broken I am a broken person because my daughter has left me. I just want to go back and stay in the moments I had with her for ever.No one understands they think it is better for me because I didn't have to carry her to term and didn't see her but it is worse so much worse I would have loved to had more moments with her to been able to spend all those months with her to been able to get pictures with her. I want my baby back! No one understands I held my little girl for first and last time as a little bag of ash's her little body in this bag as dust that is my memory of holding my sweet little girl. I looked in the bag and there she was Just ash. My little girl in my hand gone for ever how badly I wanted o hold on to her for ever my little girl in that bag.I did what parents do with there children that day the only day I ever got to hold my beloved baby one of the loves of my life I kissed her and told her how much I loved her I cried so hard and load my heart ached for my husband who was crying just as I was we didn't care who was around that just a few feet away there was mothers basking in the joy of their little ones we cried as we held our daughter for the first time the only time Then we had to put her in the vault and I thought I would die to have to let go of her again but we did it and we cried some more. When I tell people about her they say oh you miscarried. No I lost my daughter just like any other mother. I sang to that little girl every night I talked to her felt her loved her more then life I read to her She was mine and I loved her just as much as any other mother loves their baby's. Why can't people see that?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I sit thinking of what I will right. Tonight has been hard for me....Why you may ask?I don't really know I guess its just one of Those nights. I miss her so badly I wish I had something of hers to hold on to any thing a blanket she was rapped in a picture of her sweet face a lock of her hair............any thing any thing that came close to my little girl her hand prints foot prints even pictures of my belly before I lost her would help I mean I have stuff that I call hers that I bought for her but nothing that actually touched her or shows her. I was so distraught when I found out she was going to leave me and it all happened so so fast I didn't even get to think about getting one belly shot of me and my sweet girl before she was gone. I guess I am looking at the pictures NLMDTS is doing for others and thinking why didn't I think of that? I don't have one picture of me when I was pregnant with My Sweet Girl. I regret that so much!

I miss her so much. I do have some 7 week u/s pictures that I love so much. I wanted my daughter so badly. I love and miss her more then any one will ever know. Some times I want to scream out GOD WHY DID YOU TAKE HER FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! God how I miss her. How can you miss some one so much you never really got to see?I know there is a big big place in my life that will never be filled because this little girl left it wide open and empty.

Where do you go after some one you love so much but never got to share any of there dreams with them leaves you? I went to God I went to grif Groups That helped but I still have this empty place and I hurt so so badly. I love her more then life and would do any thing to have her back.

Its hard to Love and Miss some one so much and then have people think she doesn't matter because they couldn't see her. Look at the pictures above and tell me if we look like parents that didn't just lose a child? Who is any one else to judge when you should start loving your child?How do you know how much love you can have for some one if you have never lived it. I have and it is horrible I wanted to die when they told me I would have to have my Little peanut ripped from me. I really did. The pain was so over whelming I didn't know which way was up.I cried for days and days that's all I did and then I had to take my kids back from my mom and had to pull my self some what together.They were so sad and It killed me to have to answer them when asked if our baby was in Heaven. I wanted to curl up and die I really did that is how much pain I was in.............oh there was so much pain(emotional)so much I could hardly stand it some times but God and the awesome men(Carl and boys) and my sister got me through it.I am grateful for that. I am also grateful that I have done a lot of healing..................but there are still days like today were I feel I could crawl in a whole and hide for ever to escape the truth.

Its been years and it still feels like yesterday. I Miss You my Sweet Sonya Marie and will Always Love You.

Little Logan's First Breaths Outside the Womb!I have decided starting (and yes I have already told Carl so don't worry!)Next August (2010)if we a stable enough to start actively trying to get pregnant just in August every year until it happens because Carl want's a may baby! Stupid...yes and it is what he wants so we will try and if we get a "surprise" before or after August oh well! It will be fun trying any way!!

Any way nothing really new to report today! We are just staying afloat in this boat we call our life and are Thanking God it has not sunk with us a bored as of yet!! We still need Prayer about the House and Carl's work Please!! Thank You to any one taking the time to Pray for Our Family Our problems seem so minutiae to others and still people taking the time for us is Awesomely Appreciated!!

Logan's thumb is almost healed! Praise God!! Thanks to all that Prayed for my little man! He is getting so big to think he will be a year old in a little over a month!? At this time last year I was begging God to let me have my son to make sure he was healthy and happy when I saw him for the first time. I was so scared when he didnt move at all I would poke at him until he would stretch out like hey mom I'm in here and your annoying!!I was scared to go to bed thinking I would miss something. I just wanted him out safe in my arms! I was so so scared those last weeks that he would leave me before I got to see him. I love him so much and he was well worth the wight!

I am still a mess there is a lot of stuff that go's on with me that most people don't know and lot that no one but me knows. I am not as angry as I use to be(if you read early post you will see this) but am still very traumatized by the loss of My Sweet Sonya. I go through it all in my head wishing I knew then what I do now and beating my self up for not knowing being so naive in my choices. My heart aches and I just wish it would have all been different, that they would have gave me my options and that I would have known to ask. There are always what ifs though.

I never wanted a Daughter until I lost her): I love her so much my heart feels like it will explode with all the pain and love it is so over whelming all these feelingsall the trauma and heartache mixed with the joy and happiness of every day. I cry still most days but it is easier not to then it was before I have more control over it.

Carl asked if I ever hear God before and I said what do you mean? He said like heard him speak to you? I said yes but it isn't like when you speak to others it can come in pictures or thoughts in your mind or a feeling you have or a voice in your head. He said he has never experienced this and I told him he just isn't listening hard enough! I think he thought I was crazy. That's ok because I know he dose not have a closeness with God like I do and we work hard on that. The reason I bring this up is because I never realized that not all people talk to God or listen to what he has to say. I know I love him and he will pick me up and carry me when I can not go on any more and Yes I feel It when the Lord guides me to do something! I believe in my whole heart that When I die he will be waiting for me. I know in my soul that he speaks to me and has a prepossess for me in this life!What it is I am yet to find out!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nothing really new to right today. I just want to make sure if any one reads my blog post's Please Please keep us in your prayers about our finances and the house we are trying to get! Please we are really nervous right now again this week Carl's hours have been cut and we don't know what bills we should hold off on since Carl's Birthday was yesterday we now have to worry about the tags for our car and getting his license renewed we also have to pay phone rent and insurance! So we are a bit over whelmed but have faith it will work out for the best! This is a trying time for us seeing how we have never been this close to the edge of losing any thing. So if any one is here and cares to please pray for us we really need it! Thank you!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Logan had a sliver in his thumb and it blistered around it and was the whole size of the tip of his thumb.Well yesterday is when I noticed it and it can out but today I looked at it after being cleaned and covered and having ointment on it all night and it was worse so I took him in and he is now on meds and I have to soak it 3 times a day but he is ok Thank God! I feel so bad for my baby though!I can't believe he is keeping the glove on! It hurts him so bad that he can't crawl so he forced himself to walk and he is walking all over the house even though before today he has never took my then 8 steps! It Breaks my heart and melts it all at the same time my 10 1/2 month old boy is walking and growing up way to fast!!