Chick-fil-A Biblical Family of the Day

David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten concubines whom he had left to look after the house, and put them in a house under guard, and provided for them, but did not go in to them. So they were shut up until the day of their death, living as if in widowhood.

And Absalom said: “That was mean.” And David said: “I hear you got the clap, boy. I sure as hell don’t want it as well.”

LoneWolf343

Here’s a question: who wrote the books of Samuel, since Samuel seemed to be dead for most of them?

http://accidental-historian.typepad.com/ Geds

Here’s a question: who wrote the books of Samuel, since Samuel seemed to be dead for most of them?

Sammy Davis, Jr.?

Actually, that’s one of the big issues with all ancient texts and the Bible is far from unique. Lots of books were written by Random Person X who then claimed to be, say, Samuel or Daniel or Pliny. It requires a lot of work to determine that a book was not, in fact, written by the claimed author. Although in some cases it’s pretty obvious. Like, there’s the tradition that Moses wrote the Torah, but the Torah also records Moses’ death…so that’s kinda awkward. They get around it by claiming someone else came later to finish the story.

In the case of Samuel, the tradition is that Nathan and Gad, a couple of other prophets, finished the work after Samuel died. It’s more likely that the book was a combination of texts that were collected and harmonized during the Babylonian Captivity and then attributed to Samuel.

http://outshine-the-sun.blogspot.com/ Andrew G.

It’s long been recognized that Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Samuel, Kings are a closely-linked series of works, originating possibly not with the same author but at least the same tradition or school and probably originally composed over a reasonably short time period starting in the later 7th century BC and extending into the exilic period. (Though like all the OT there have almost certainly been post-exilic redactions.)

Deborah Moore

Really, I think David is trying to be merciful here. He knows these women were surrounded on all sides by Absolom’s army and had no chance of escaping their fate, so he doesn’ t want to throw them out on the street because they are innocent.

But honor doesn’t let him have relations with these women once they have been tainted by another man. So the best he can do is provide for them but avoid them.

http://flickr.com/photos/sedary_raymaker/ Naked Bunny with a Whip

“honor doesn’t let him have relations with these women once they have been tainted”

“the best he can do is provide for them but avoid them”

That’s the point of this series, though. What was considered proper back then would be bizarre, cruel, and often downright illegal if done today. The “Biblical” family ideal espoused by Chick Fil-A and its supporters isn’t Biblical at all, it’s straight out of 1950s American sitcoms.

LoneWolf343

“Like, there’s the tradition that Moses wrote the Torah, but the Torah also records Moses’ death…so that’s kinda awkward.”

Along with the repeated “Moses was the humblest guy evah!” I would think Moses would have known better than that, but I suppose he could have learned the art of crazy bullshit propaganda from his royal benefactors.

ohiolibrarian

Like being sent to time out. For a really long while.

Sgt. Pepper’s Bleeding Heart

Like, there’s the tradition that Moses wrote the Torah, but the Torah also records Moses’ death…so that’s kinda awkward. They get around it by claiming someone else came later to finish the story.

There’s also a tradition that says that Moses wrote all of it, and that God dictated the last verses to him before his death. They include this epitaph: “Since then there has not arisen in Israel a prophet like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face”. The tradition says that Moses was so moved by God’s words that he wrote the final verses of Exodus with his tears.