In an unfortunately far too long career, Ulaga Madayan a.k.a. Kamal Haasan has time and again inflicted agony on discerning Tamil movie fans.

The 1981 film Tik Tik Tik furnishes a solid example of Kamal’s gross abuse of discriminating fans like yours truly.

An ardent Kamal Haasan fan that I was in the first flush of my youth, I watched Tik Tik Tik, a so called crime thriller, featuring Ulaga Madayan and Madhavi, in 1981 or 1982.

As if one viewing were not punishment enough, I recently re-submitted myself to the Tik Tik Tik ordeal after a hiatus of three decades.

OMG! If Tik Tik Tik was bad the first time, it was execrable in the second viewing.

Because in the three-decade interregnum I’d seen a countless better films.

Yes, now I know the difference between gold dust and sawdust.

Tik Tik Tik is most definitely sawdust.

Chinnasaamy Periya Maya Thevar a.k.a. Bharatiraaja takes credit for the story, screenplay and direction, such as they are.

Kamal Hates Tamil Movie Buffs

If Tik Tik Tik proves anything, it’s that Ulaga Madayan cared two pins for sensitive Tamil movie fans even in the early 1980s.

Why else would he involve himself in such drivel as Tik Tik Tik?

For the sake of a few silver coins, Kamal Hassan showed the middle finger to Tamil movie fans by eagerly, greedily embracing trash like Tik Tik Tik.

Silly Story

The story, if you can call this junk that, centers around the murders of pretty young women.

The modus operandi is to take the girls abroad on some pretext, cause an accident to them overseas, and then inject a precious diamond into their bodies which is then extracted in India after murdering them.

The villain behind these murders is a bald businessman Oberoi (Shyam Sundar) with a penchant for repeating Ella Nyayangalum Theriyum, Ella Dharmamoom Theriyum (I know all laws, and I know all morals).

Kamal Haasan’s handling of the camera made me fall of the chair a couple of times. They were hilarious, albeit unintentionally so.

Dileep’s boss (Thengai Srinivasan) and Sharada’s father (V.K.Ramaswamy) are there to provide some humor with their silly antics and sillier remarks.

Poor Writing

Bharatiraaja’s writing is so sloppy that I’m amazed the man is hailed as one of the greats of Tamil cinema.

For instance, the romance aspect is so poorly developed that in one frame you see Sharada angrily chasing Dileep on the sand dunes and in the next frame they’re in love.

Obviously, there are no limits to nonsense in Tamil cinema.

Ditto with the character of the villain Oberoi.

Other than the fact that he’s a rich man with nefarious interests, there’s little color about him. He’s made to look weird with hideous laughs, an odd accent and staring eyes.

Pitiful.

As if the Tamil audience won’t believe a villain can really be bad unless he’s made to look sinister.

Madhavi

When selecting Madhavi, Bharatiraaja’s sole goal seems to have been to expose as much flesh of this South Indian babe as possible.

So we frequently see this woman donning bikinis, exercising in shorts, jiggling her udders and flaunting her wares to drooling eyes.

With her large face, big eyes, generous mouth, ample bosom and a fairly voluptuous figure, the image of Madhavi must have driven millions of Tamil hands to manic frenzy on countless dark nights in the 1980s.

But I must say there’s an element of class about Madhavi, even if her acting skills are non-existent.

Decent Music

Ilayaraja’s music once again comes as the saving grace of a horrid film.

Lata Rajinikanth (if you don’t know who she is, your birth is in vain) has sung one of the popular songs in the film – Netru Indha Naeram.

Sadly, most of the songs are marred by poor picturization, a fate common to over 90% of Tamil songs.

Bottom Line – Garbage

It’s a shame that movies like Tik Tik Tik ever got made.

The only reason that this film saw the light of the day was that producers with too much money and too little taste united with a greedy, uncaring star to rip off the public by peddling trash dressed up as gold dust.