Pressure Valve

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Breaking news of earth-shattering importance: get in now on the world's longest french fry auction on eBay. Bidding is at $102 and rising.

For those of you seeking more details on this offering, you might check here. Culver's conceded that this may indeed be the longest french fry that they have heard of, but the Potato Grower's Association was unimpressed.

The saddest thing about this auction is that it is such a Johnny-come-lately. Ridiculous food auctions on eBay are so four months ago. The eBay cheeto was an amazing piece of performance art that led to legitimate commentary, if not the full artistic analysis that it deserved. And the ass-kicking was a ground-breaking exploration of the intersection of contract rights and practical jokes, which deserved to be on the cover of Time magazine. (I'm not being facetious.) But the "french fry" is just warmed-over copycatting. This is the "2 Fast 2 Furious" of eBay auctions. It's Justin Timberlake. It's not even weird; it's diet weird -- like stealing a line from a tired sequel and passing it off as your own.