Changing Google domain passwords with ColdFusion and Dito GAM

For a recent project, I was tasked with creating a service that could synchronously change the Google domain password for any of our domain users. I struggled with the OAuth 2.0 handshake business for a good bit (https://developers.google.com/identity/protocols/OAuth2ServiceAccount), created some badass JWT signatures, I believe got very close to having the authentication setup, but then figured out this other, much simpler way of doing this. So here is a blog post on my findings. Environment: Adobe ColdFusion 11 running on a Windows 2012 R2 server with IIS 8.5.