Sir Humphrey reveals his Dusty Springfield side

The Commons committee on public administration is still looking at the honours system - and what a fascinating mess it is.

I believe it was George VI who said of an honour he was about to dispose to an eager recipient: "For the people to whom it matters, it matters so very much."

Yesterday the committee heard from the permanent secretary at Work and Pensions, Sir Richard Mottram.

Sir Richard, who is probably the least stuffy civil servant in Whitehall, is the man who once remarked, while he was in charge of transport: "We're fucked. I'm fucked, it's the biggest cock-up ever, and we're all completely fucked."

The poor chap will have this quote hung round his neck for the rest of his life, thanks to unkind hacks like me reminding our readers every time he appears in public. It does, however, give you a flavour of the man. But he is also a mandarin, and so careful not to say too much.

It is the committee's job to use the machete of ruthless questioning to cut their way through the tangled jungle of secrecy and obfuscation. It is Sir Richard's job to put it back again. This he did very well, thanks to a combination of affable joviality and remarks designed to baffle anyone who heard them. What, for example, was "the Dusty Springfield issue we talked about"?

Or why, when he was asked about the strange way there are so many different levels of honours, did he reply: "The honours system gets to grade people. Graded grains make finer rice"?

(The old slogan was "graded grains make finer flour". The cartoon commercial showed lots of little men in bowler hats, busily grading flour, which makes it rather apt.) Later Sir Richard mused: "When you are in the future, the past looks different."

"We are getting a bit delphic here," said Tony Wright, the committee chairman.

"Yes, I am in my Rumsfeld mode," said Sir Richard, in a delphic sort of way.

The central discussion was about Professor Colin Blakemore who, according to a memo leaked last year, was refused an honour "in view of his controversial work on vivisection". Prof Blakemore, who felt he was implementing government policy at considerable risk to himself, is peeved about this, and who can blame him?

Watching Sir Richard - who chairs the committee which originally considered Prof Blakemore for the gong - tie the committee up in passing fronds and tendrils, while arranging for them to dangle from mantraps, was a joy.

Who was on the committee which recommended scientists for honours? "We have six of the most distinguished people in the field on the committee, but you'll just have to take my word for it because I'm not allowed to disclose their names."

Or here's the exchange, a beautifully crafted example of revealing the name of the person who wrote the memo without actually revealing the name.

Chairman: "Who wrote the note?" Sir Richard: "Is it relevant?"

Chairman: "It's not irrelevant." Sir Richard: "It's in the leak. It's in the Sunday Times!"

In such a way he did not break any mighty oaths and tell us the name of Ms Eleri Pengelly, of a body known as the Ceremonial Secretariat. So the committee knew and Sir Richard hadn't told them! A triumph for Whitehall!

But as the committee tried and failed to winkle anything important out, Sir Richard toyed merrily with them.

"You could not possibly comment," said one MP about something.

" 'No, I could not possibly comment,' he said, in his best Sir Humphrey fashion!" Sir Richard replied with a cheerful and triumphant smile.