I’ve been quite busy lately. In all honesty, I am exhausted. And it’s all about the boys. They are taking a lot of energy out of me these days!

Let’s take a look at some examples, shall we? There’s Hank’s new-found love of soccer:

I won’t lie. I’m not really a fan of soccer. Call me a sports elitist, but soccer is kinda… gay. You know, like when we were in 4th grade and someone did something dorky, only you didn’t call it dorky, you said, eyes rolling, “That is so GAY!” That kind of gay. Not the kind of gay that inexplicably cannot marry in most states, but gay gay. So very gay! That’s how I always felt about soccer. Not to mention, this makes me a soccer mom, which is downright unacceptable. But the truth of it is, I missed baseball sign-ups, and I knew the kid would like to play a sport, and might as well let him learn more than one. And color me confused, but man, does the kid ever like it! Not enough for his mother to learn the rules, mind you, but enough that I find myself cheering. Which almost hurts. Because this is the position he is playing:

Sweet beef jerky, my kid is the GOALIE! It’s nerve-racking enough when your kid plays a sport where he and a bunch of other uncoordinated 7 and 8 year olds are kicking at each other. But when he is actually in a position to single-handedly make your team suck, you really, really feel like you are going to pee your pants. A lot. This is Hank’s very first save. I will spare you the next several plays at the net, and show you this nice photo from practice instead:

Nice form kid! See, don’t I sound like I know what I am talking about? I’m getting gay-er by the minute!

Oh looky, Lightening McQueen and thumbs up! You’d never have guessed that one!

Apparently not satisfied with my own children, I hopped a plane to Omaha.

Hello Tom! Love your Cubs hat. The one that I forced on your head and then snapped a flashy instant camera in your tiny little blue eyes all in the scope of 2.2 seconds! It looks good on you (even though you are in the process of pulling it off). I took this photo with a disposable camera that I bought before my trip. And when Kayla saw it, she said, “Wow, did you have to go back to the 90’s to get that?” Yeah, well, shut up! It travels well!

While Kayla was at work, I let Tommy eat plastic:

Ahhhh, kids!

Of course, after returning from Omaha, I had several photos to blow before I took the film to get developed. So naturally, I went to soccer practice and pretended to take pictures of one thing while really aiming at another:

Wow, George, what a great photo of you and your soccer ball and your “thumbs up!” Very original. But for real, I was just trying to capture that woman in the background wearing the tye-dye. Hey lady, the 80’s masquerading at the 60’s called. They want their t-shirt back. Seriously, why would you wear that alone in a cave, let alone in public? And when you are heavy, no less. It’s like she’s TRYING to draw attention to herself. She wouldn’t look any worse had she put on a big target or a silkscreen of dogs playing poker. Please, honey, burn that shirt. If Heidi Klum would look like ass in it, then the rest of us should stay far, far away.

With one photo left in the camera, I handed it off to George, who took the single coolest picture I have seen in quite some time, and possibly one of the best photos of Jim ever:

Seriously, how cool is this shot? From the way the child was holding the camera, we figured it would be half George’s grimy fingers, half Jim’s belly button. But something about the way the sky looks, the look on Jim’s face, and even the open car door just look so freaking cool. My kid is a genius!