22 January 2015

TMB "not dispirited" says chairman

The Tripe Marketing Board has reacted angrily to suggestions that it rushed to publish 4th Quarter 2014 tripe sales before a final audit had been completed by analysts at the European Office of Tripe Consumption.

Sir Norman Wrassle

The accusation - by EOTC president M. Jacques Déchets - was today dismissed as "ludicrous" by TMB chairman Sir Norman Wrassle. Speaking at a meeting of the Hindley Green Women's League this afternoon, Sir Norman said: "It's ridiculous to imagine that we would somehow attempt to massage the facts. We were working on the EOTC's own seasonally unadjusted data. Just because the adjusted figures show that sales continued to decline, I wouldn't want people to think for a minute that we are dispirited".

The revised figures mean that this is the 229th successive quarter in which tripe sales have fallen. Sir Norman said he was not downhearted by the results, as the fall represented the smallest on record. "The idea that we're in the business of hoodwinking the public is ludicrous. We're clearly close to turning the corner. If we don't do it this quarter, then I'm sure it won't be long after that," he said.

Responding to questions from the audience, Sir Norman admitted that the TMB planned a relaunch of Tripe Club - the popular children's membership organisation that ran from 1958 until the mid-1970s. "The new Tripe Club will be aimed squarely at 'Generation Tripe' - those who were born after the Second World War and who may have forgotten just how tasty tripe can be!" he said.