Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Jesus Loves the Unborn and the Tax Cut

News flash: Liberals are Christian. What's more, they seem to actually pay attention to the words that came out of Jesus' mouth.

Lots of hypocrisy, selfishness, stupidity and unChristian attitudes are exposed in this article, but I like seeing how these "Christians" are completely unconcerned with slashing benifits for the poor, a group that Jesus said a few words about.

Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, said the government's role should be to encourage charitable giving, perhaps through tax cuts.

"There is a [biblical] mandate to take care of the poor. There is no dispute of that fact," he said. "But it does not say government should do it. That's a shifting of responsibility."

Hey everybody! Free food and shelter at Tony Perkins' house! He's not one to shirk his Biblical responsibilities.

Right, we don't want charity operating through government, with oversight by Congress and agency inspectors general; with review by the GAO; with backup and protection by the Justice Department; where people know what to do and what to expect because of laws and regulations; and where leaks and whistleblowers unofficially help keep things honest.

And we sure don't want to keep things relatively free of discrimination during administrations headed by a right-wing incompetent. Can't have that.

No, all charity should be privatized, like that high-volume operation in Maryland or Delaware that "20/20" exposed back in the '90s. Operated out of two high-rise office buildings, cranking out mailings by the millions. And phone solicitations by the tens of thousands a day.

This outfit had something like 17 different "charities" carefully named so as to be confused with the American Cancer Society alone. And there were similar portfolios of "charities" deliberately named so as to be easily mistaken for other legit, mainstream charities.

Trouble was, this outfit kept all but the absolute minimum required by law as "overhead," donating an oh-so-generous 4 percent or so to an actual charity. Of course, they didn't tell Granny Frickett that when she sent in her check with the real-official-looking response card.

And, too, churches should play an important role. Remember Jim Bakker? And how about that bizarre couple that used to haunt TBN? Why send money to help the elderly poor risking death by exposure right now in their under-heated rooms, when you can help put another pound of expensive makeup on the face of that TBN hag with the Brillo fright wig?

Yessuh, and it's also better to give to the Rev. John-Billy-Jimbo's Church of the Downhome Rakeoff than send it off to Washington. (And the girls at the Velvet Playhouse, where the Rev. is known as big-tipping "St. John The Divine," can tell you why it's better, too.)

So what if the Divine One gets caught with his $180 pants down, literally? He'll go on TV, blubber, "Forgive me, Lord, for I . . . blub . . . ack, have SINNED!"

And sho' nuff, dear old Granny Frickett's heart will just melt for the po' boy. Next thing you know. . .

"Lester, bring me the checkbook. I got to witness to John-Billy-Jimbo's redemption, so's he can bring The Word to our humble home, instead of doing six to nine months in the slammer."

. . . help put another pound of expensive makeup on the face of that TBN hag with the Brillo fright wig?

Classic.

You guys said it. These relativists make me sick. One day they say our policies should be suffused by (or is it "suffused with"?) Judeo-Christian values (and we all know they really don't mean the "Judeo" part), and the next they're saying our policies should have nothing to do with religious values. Make up your mind, flip floppers!