6 Things Every Good Friend Should Do

Discover how to be the best pal with advice from relationship experts

By Kathleen Corlett

1. Find the time Build a get-together into your schedule (join a committee or attend weekly yoga together), so you see each other regularly. Then after class, get a smoothie or tea to spend quality time talking and sharing, says Shasta Nelson, CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, a womens friendship matching site. Most women consider someone a friend after six to eight interactions  about two months into the weekly fitness routine.

2. Pump up the positive Vent sessions and heart-to-hearts are healthy, but in moderation. Compliment your friend on an accomplishment, try something new together, and take photos. Powerhouse female friendships are relationships where women are cheering, supporting and both publicly and privately affirming each other, Nelson says.

3. Use (dont abuse) social mediaLiking a pal's post or leaving her a quick note is a great way to remind a friend youre thinking of her, but dont let your thumbs-up replace meeting up. Face to face is a conversation, whereas social media is two separate people talking at each other. You cant ask questions, hold hands, or give high fives online, Nelson says.

4. Go above and beyond Facebook reminders make it so easy to wish someone a happy birthday or congrats on an engagement  but its ease diminishes the value, says Jan Yager, Ph.D., and author of Friendshifts. Distinguish yourself from the other hundreds of quick posts with a call or sweet card, too.

5. Phone a friend If you cant see your gal pal as often as you used to, aim to call her at least once a month. The more time that passes, the less likely you are to call. It may take an hour or more to catch up, and youll say I dont have time to do that now, Nelson says. You cant tell a friend about what your horrible boss said because youd need to also catch her up on other life happenings first. Stick to shorter and more frequent phone calls or Skype dates, and think about picking a recurring time thats convenient for you both.

6. Really listen Dont sit and take notes, but maybe jot down in your smartphone a birthday, name of sibling after a conversation, says Yager. The next time you see her, ask about something you touched upon earlier. You want to show that you were really listening  not just smiling and nodding.

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