Monday, June 23, 2014

DEAR DIARY

#1. So my boss called me to his office. On his desk was an overturned mason jar with a small undulating orb floating in the center. It was glowing and emitting a high frequency but low volume hum. I looked into the orb and saw my own face but as a child. I was crying. “Toby,” he said. “Can you set up office 225?”

#2.

So my boss called me to his office. His door was shut but I felt a breeze from underneath. “Steffan,” I called. “Are you there?” I thought I heard a response and opened his door. My shoes were instantly stuck in a tawny muck. I reached up and pulled myself up onto a mangrove root. I was happy sitting there. I looked up and on the branch above me was my boss. “Toby, have you heard from the vending machine company?”

#3. So my boss called me to his office. He had a question about a bill we received. As he reached for the invoice, a pigeon landed silently on the brick windowsill behind him. It began smoking a tiny filtered cigarette. The pigeon blew 3 quick concentric smoke rings. A 2nd pigeon landed to join the first on the ledge. It too was smoking a tiny filtered cigarette. “Toby,” my boss said, “do you remember which 650 tenant we had these sunshades installed for?”

#4. So my boss called me to his office. When I arrived he was speaking to someone on the telephone. As I waited outside for his call to end, I couldn’t help but overhear a phalanx of tiny voices from above, an ebbing sort of helium swell. They were speaking in a language other than my own but I felt the message had been made clear for me: DO NOT GIVE INTO ASTONISHMENT. “Toby,” he said, “Can you come in here?”