[After a moment's hesitation, Sunny looks toward his students and concedes.]

Sunny: All right, um, how exactly do I teach?

Lil' D: Don't ask us—we barely know how to learn.

Sunny: What did your last teacher do?

Kim: He used to start class with finger exercises.

Kam: He was a rigid, mechanical task master.

[Flashback. Lightning strikes as a teacher instructs Kam, the former acting a drill sergeant to Kam, who performs pushups to exercise his fingers. Fatigues clothe Kam, who is wincing in pain while performing his exercises.]

Tamika: All right. Prepare to feel the raw power of this hip-hop goddess as she kills this track with her easy-strum harp. [Complies]

Sunny: Now, okay, now tell me about that motion—how does that feel?

Tamika: Like droplets of cool water washing over me.

[Li'l D snickers.]

Tamika: Anybody laughs, they're dead!

[Li'l D flinches, no longer snickering.]

Sunny: Don't just tell me; show me—and this time, without the death threat.

[Tamika grimaces before playing another riff. The scenery changes to a cave wherein Sunny watches Tamika playing. Around the duo is dripping water.]

Sunny: That's creativity.

[Sunny pulls the left side of the screen toward the right, reverting the scenery to the classroom.]

Sunny: Now Madison, how does it feel when you play your violin?

Madison: Um, like happy bumblebees.

Sunny: Bumblebees? Good.

[As a demonstration, Madison plays her violin. From where the bow makes contact with the strings, musical notes upon a staff emerge. After a few seconds, the notes change to bumblebees, which fly toward the screen. Afterward, the scenery becomes a forest; Sunny and Madison sit in one of the branches, Madison playing her violin. The bumblebees rush past an oblivious Madison and toward Sunny.]

Sunny: Bumblebees! Aaahh! Not good!

[Sunny flails his arms in an attempt to rid himself of the winged insects; in doing so, Sunny falls off the branch and lands in the music room.]

Sunny: So——

[Buzzing sound. Sunny hits his right ear, and out of his left ear flies a bee. Using buzzing sounds, the former music superstar communicates with the bee.]

Sunny: (translation) Run along now.

[The bee complies.]

Sunny: Okay, your turn, Eddie.

[Eddie plays his clarinet. Scene changes to a busy highway; Eddie and Sunny are standing on a median. Cars' horns are sounding as Eddie's playing continues.]

Sunny: Focus. What are you feeling?

Eddie: Mad at you for makin' me stand in the middle of the road!

Sunny: [Walking off the raised median, but remaining just out of the cars' paths] Bingo! Those drivers—they mad at me, too. You hear those horns?

Li'l D: Yeah, man, I'm all about tearin' down walls and all that other stuff.

[Li'l D plays the drums, causing a wrecking ball to crash into a wall. Riding on the wrecking ball, Li'l D then drops himself onto a jackhammer and rides it, then smashes another wall as well as the floor with a sledgehammer as the music continues.]

Li'l D: What you think?

Sunny: Not bad—for a beginner.

[Sunny jumps and attaches himself to the wrecking ball, then reverts the damage it caused. The students play music.]

Ms. Lopez: No, last Friday, but I forgot to tell you, so we postponed it to this Friday. Also, members of the Georgia Peanut Council will be here to decide how much money they're gonna donate for school improvements.

[An I-beam falls.]

Ms. Lopez: The pressure is on you not to put on a crummy pageant.

Sunny: (overwhelmed) This Friday? Money? (collected) Crummy? Oh, that's no problem. I mean, I'll make it happen. What could possibly go wrong?

[Scene: auditorium. Onstage are seven dancers, each wearing a peanut costume; a choir behind the dancers; and the conductor. The choir vocalize as they clap their hands to the rhythm. The audience applauds. Emerging from the stage floor is a peanut statue, which breaks open to reveal seven circus arts students, who spell out "PEANUT" with their bodies as a finale.]

Philly Phil: (voice over) Hey, it spells "PEANUT"!

[Scene: music room. The music students are watching the previous year's Peanut Pageant.]

Eddie: Man alive, last year's pageant was amazing. We have to do something like that by Friday?

Philly Phil: That's not enough time. I can make us a time machine, but it won't be ready until Saturday.

Madison: Unless you go back in time and start yesterday.

Philly Phil: Nah, I already did that.

Li'l D: Forget that, y'all. We don't need a time machine; we got Sunny—he can put on a great show in his sleep.

[Pan to Sunny. Sunny is sleeping at his desk, which bears towers of forms.]

Kim: Sounds like he's putting on a great show right now.

[Kim approaches Sunny and plays her cymbals, waking Sunny.]

Sunny: [Groans] Now I gotta fill out form 929: application to make student eat her own cymbals.

[Kam jumps, a rope securing him, and after taking the form, Kam ascends to file the form. The process repeats after Sunny completes another form. Madison emerges from a pile of paperwork, alarming Sunny and scattering the papers.]

Madison: Sunny, Sunny, Sunny! The pageant is going great! The visual arts department is painting the sets and backdrops with peanut oil-based paints. They are gonna look so cool, and they are gonna smell even better!

Sunny: (apathetic) Oh, that's great.

[Sunny hands Kam another completed form.]

Madison: We are tearin' down the walls of constipation

[Kam continues to file for Sunny.]

Madison: with the wrecking ball of creamed spinach! Woo!

[Exit Madison.]

Sunny: (inattentive) Yeah yeah, you do that, Eddie.

[Offscreen, goat baas, followed by the sound effects of a bite and the snapping of a rope. In the background, Kam falls, his plight unnoticed by Sunny.]

[Scene: circus arts tent. As the circus arts students practice in the presence of ponies and elephants, Li'l D and Eddie converse with Mr. Barnum, the circus arts teacher.]

Mr. Barnum: (via megaphone) I was told Sunny Bridges would be directing this pageant.

[In the background, a student enters a cannon.]

Eddie: Sunny taught us everything we know.

Li'l D: Yeah, like he taught us how to tear down the walls of convention with the wrecking balls of creativity.

Mr. Barnum: [Preparing the student to be shot out of the cannon] That line is the greatest load of bunk on Earth.

Eddie: Hey Li'l D, we could always use nitroglycerin; it's made out of peanuts.

Li'l D: How do you know that?

Eddie: [Holding a can of nitroglycerin] It says so on this can.

Li'l D: (invigorated) High explosives! Yeah, baby! Now all we need is a way to get it onstage during the pageant.

Eddie: [Picking up a chihuahua] We could use these chihuahuas. They could balance it on their backs like a dog-devil act.

Mr. Barnum: Spectacular!

Li'l D: And what if the chihuahuas were riding on ponies?

Mr. Barnum: Amazing!

Eddie: And the ponies were riding on elephants?

Mr. Barnum: Death defying!

Li'l D: Sunny gon' be so proud of our creativity!

[The cannon fires the student who entered it.]

Circus Arts Student: I can see my house from here!

[Scene: music room.]

Sunny: [Relieved sigh] There. Finished at last.

[Kam takes the paper.]

Sunny: What happened to you?

Kam: Mountain goat bit me.

Sunny: [Trying to rid Kam of the goat] Uh huh, yeah. [Tossing the goat away from Kam] That's a real rare problem. So, where are the other kids?

[The building shakes. An elephant trumpets.]

Kam: I think they're in the auditorium. (as the building continues shaking) You'd better hurry up—sounds like they're starting the dress rehearsal right now.

Sunny: Already? [Pulls out pocket watch] The show doesn't start for– [The watch reads "A HALF AN HOUR" on the clockface.] a half an hour?

[Exit Sunny and Kam. Unknown to them, the mountain goat begins to eat the paperwork.]

[Scene: just outside the auditorium. Sunny and Kam glance in the room to find students of various departments preparing for the pageant. Enter Kam and Sunny. As they walk onstage, Madison greets them.]

Madison: (excited) You see? It's great, isn't it?

[At one corner of the stage is an exhibit in the style of Frankenstein.]

Sunny: (confused) Uh, yeah. What is it?

Madison: It's George Washington Carver's Transylvanian laboratory. It's where he discovered five hundred uses for peanuts, and created the Frankennut.

[An elephant traverses the stage. Sunny fearfully glances at the nitroglycerin cans resting on the heads of the chihuahuas, who are balancing themselves on ponies, who in turn are standing on elephants.]

Sunny: Is that nitroglycerin? For the love of velvet, don't let those elephants see the giant peanuts! Tamika, tell those dancers to stand absolutely still, or——

Tamika: All right people, close your eyes and [Sunny gapes at his inattentive student.] dance like a nut.

[The dancers dance, exciting one of the elephants.]

Sunny: No!

[An elephant charges toward the dancers, scaring them as the animal-nitroglycerin towers become unstable. A chase ensues as the dancers exit the auditorium, throughout which turmoil spreads. As the cans of nitroglycerin fall, a stage light falls, its power cord breaking and exposing the "super-high-voltage." A flame spreads, and a nitroglycerin can causes an explosion upon impacting the ground.]

[Approaching the limousine, Principal Luna sees a man who has a head resembling a peanut.]

Principal Luna: And I see you brought your mascot.

[Filbert and Foghorn place their hands over Principal Luna's mouth.]

Foghorn Legume: (whispering) That is not our mascot; he is with the People for the Ethical Treatment of Nuts, and he is very sensitive about his looks.

[The PETN member shakes hands with a sheepish Principal Luna.]

[Scene: auditorium. As the fire spreads, the dancers continue their attempt at fleeing the elephant. A cardboard cutout of a peanut falls, exposing the Sunny and his class. Another can of nitroglycerin falls; as it rolls toward the music department, they flee, but it seems to follow them. Exit the music class. The can stops briefly, emitting a beeping sound effect, then rolls forward.]

Kam: Is the coast clear?

[The music class are hiding beside a group of lockers, hoping they are out of the can's path. The can reverses direction.]

Kim: No.

[The can adjusts itself so it will roll toward the music class. As the music class flee, the can continues rolling, turning itself as necessary.]

[Scene: a corridor. Principal Luna escorts the three visitors through the school.]

Principal Luna: Tonight's Peanut Pageant: she promises to be—fantastic. There will be music; there will be dance; there may even be a few—surprises.

[An elephant bursts through a wall, lugging a pony and a chihuahua. Confused, the visitors glance at Principal Luna.]

Principal Luna: [Smiling sheepishly] Surprise!

[Scene: another corridor. The nitroglycerin can continues rolling. Nervously muttering, Sunny and the music students lock themselves in a locker past which the can rolls. Cut to inside the locker.]

Sunny: Here's somethin' else you don't hear a teacher say often: What in the name of Coltrane we're you thinkin'? Elephants and giant peanuts? High voltage and peanut oil? Didn't you check to see what everybody else was doing?

Li'l D: No, you taught us to do our own thing, remember?

Sunny: I also told you to listen to what everybody else was doin' to be sure you fit in.

Li'l D: No, you didn't.

Sunny: (confident) Didn't I? Didn't I? (worried) Didn't I?

[Sunny opens the locker door and sees an elephant chasing a dancer.]

Dancer: [Screams] Too much nougat!

[With its trunk, the elephant captures the dancer, who screams and flails as she reluctantly enters the elephant's mouth. The elephant spits out the dancer; she lands on a nitroglycerin can, causing it to continue rolling. Watching, the music class spill out of the locker.]

Sunny: My paperwork!

[The can rolls toward the music room, where said paperwork rests.]

Sunny: [Leaping up] Quick, help me save her! No!

[Sunny darts toward his room, but the nitroglycerin explodes, repelling Sunny and destroying the paperwork. Sunny desperately tries to collect the remaining scraps of paper.]

Sunny: Quick, help me put their atoms back together!

[The ashes in Sunny's hand disintegrate as a breeze impacts them. Five cans of nitroglycerin avenge Sunny and his students.]

Sunny: [Embracing his students] Help me stay alive!

[Exit the music class.]

[Scene: auditorium. Seated in the audience section are Principal Luna and the three guests, who are silent as they await the Peanut Pageant. Attempting to break the silence, the guests clear their throats and glance at Principal Luna.]

[The camera angles on the stage, whose curtains unveil cardboard cutouts resembling Sunny and his students clad in various costumes.]

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

[The elephants, determined, rampage the hallway. Cut to the stage, where the music class duck behind their corresponding cutouts. As a saxophone solo begins, Sunny stands at an intersection of two hallways and inspects the surroundings.]

Eddie: (via walkie-talkie) Ready, Sunny?

[The camera cuts to Eddie, who is standing near a gaping hole leading to the auditorium. The auditorium remains ablaze.]

Sunny: (via walkie-talkie) Ready, Eddie.

[Eddie approaches two elephants who are drinking water gushing out of a broken water fountain pipe.]

Eddie: Hey dumbo, does your daddy know you wear a tutu?

[In retaliation, the two elephants force water out of their trunks, attempting to drench the blond boy. Eddie jumps before impact occurs, causing the elephants to inadvertently drench the flames instead. A clarinet solo begins. In the music room, Kim and Kam invert a peanut costume; it now resembles a mouse. The dancers, now clad in mouse costumes, exit the room as Kim approaches Tamika.]

Kim: Okay, but I still don't see how mouse costumes are gonna help.

[In a cutaway, the dancers form a line, menacing expressions on their faces. In response, an elephant reacts in fear.]

Tamika: Elephants are afraid of mice, right?

Kim: I think that's just a myth.

Tamika: [Wrapping her arm around Kim] Maybe, but the elephants don't know that.

[A reassured Kim smiles.]

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

[In an attempt to stop the elephants' rampage, the dancers form a line in the elephants' path. Out of fear, the elephants stop, menacing looks on the dancers' faces.]

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

[The elephants start sweating. The dancers squeak as if they were mice, sending the elephants into a frenzy.]

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

[The elephants exit the school, running through a wall. They stop on a field.]

[A can of nitroglycerin rolls outdoors via the hole the elephants created when vacating the school.]

Li'l D: ♪Bankhead, Li'l D. Madison, play your fiddle.♪

Madison: Ditto!

[Violin solo. Li'l D finds the nitroglycerin can and rolls it in the circus arts department tent. When the can impacts a pyramid of more nitroglycerin cans, an explosion occurs, frightening Li'l D as the explosion propels Mr. Barnum upward.]

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

Mr. Barnum: (via megaphone) Spectacular!

Choir: ♪Oh, peanut, we love you baby.♪

[On the stage, the music students take a bow and the curtains close. End song.]

[Scene: backstage. The music class celebrate their successful cleanup efforts.]

Sunny: Now that's what I call a collaboration.

[Enter Principal Luna, Filbert, Foghorn, and the PETN member.]

Principal Luna: Señor Bridges!

Sunny: Hey, Luna-Luna. [Gesturing to his students] What'd you think of the show? Not bad for beginners, huh?

Principal Luna: It was [Hesitates](unenthusiastic) fantastic, but more importantly, your paperwork—where is she?

[Enter the mountain goat. It burps, and five forms, all of which are on fire, exit the goat's mouth. Principal Luna glares at Sunny as the paperwork disintegrates.]

Sunny: Forget the paperwork, man; I got so busy with all that teacher stuff, I forgot to teach, and look what happened.

[Camera pans to the hole in one of the auditorium walls. An I-beam falls.]

Filbert Sheller: Gentlemen, that was the best Peanut Pageant I've ever seen—and I've seen at least one other.

PETN Member: It was the most ethical treatment of nuts, ever. [A tear exits the member's left eye.]

Foghorn Legume: Principal Luna, I think it's safe to say that your school improvement funding is secure for another year.

PETN Member: [Brandishing a gigantic check] In fact, I have here a giant prop check made out to the Westley School for Performing Arts in the amount of—$200.

[The building shakes as an elephant trumpets.]

Principal Luna: Good thing we have the Peach Pageant coming up.

Sunny: (alarmed) "Peach Pageant"?

[The music students cheer as a hopeless expression manifests on their instructor's face.]

Eddie: Peachy.

Li'l D: I'll get the nitroglycerin.

[Exterior shot of Westley. Through the gaping holes of the building escapes purple smoke. Camera pans upward, stopping at the city of Atlanta as sunset occurs and night subsequently falls. Begin ending sequence. A reprise of "Oh, Peanut" plays over the credits as the accompanying visuals occupy the right side of the screen.]