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feeling low..

Not the kind of feeling depressed thing, like I was a couple of months ago, I truly think I am over this. Still, I feel like I am in a vacuum, can´t be bothered with anything.

Yesterday, the girls, a couple of husbands (obviously not mine, he does not enjoy going clubbing) went out dancing. I just could not be a….

What did I do? Got p…. beforehand, I mean how adult-like is that?? Admittedly, we all sat out (Mr CB, big boy & his girlfriends, me and later on a friend of mine) anyway, we sat on the patio, lovely weather and just talked. It was nice but I had too much to drink, just to get me in the mood for going out in the first place – sad isn´t it? And yes, of course it ended up being fun with loads of dancing (nothing more to drink) and home at 02:00 AM.

So why am I feeling sooo low? I should be happy with an interview coming up, family situation being really nice, no arguments, everything improving?

Is it the fear of the unknowing? Fear of the interview, of what happens if I were to get the job, having to start new all over again? Having to tell the boss, my colleagues, worse still, my customer?

And what if I don´t get the job (fat chance anyway). Continue the way it is now? No chance!!

Aaarrgh, spring is in the air, and I am down, I don´t like this state of mind, I am supposed to go out next Friday with my colleagues, to Cologne and again, I just can´t be bothered, how daft is that?

Sometimes, I have realized, that in life, when we are let down a number of times, we learn to expect the worse. Even when our lives go the way that we want them to, we fear the unknown–like you said. Or you fear making a mistake. Or.. you fear things will not work out. Sometimes, I feel down for no apparent reason at all. Or sometimes I get bored… You should do a hobby to keep your mind busy. I was diagnosed with depression,anxiety and ADD and I have started doing crafts which help me to stop worrying, and over think things. It also builds my confidence because I realize how creative I am. No matter how down I feel or if I am having a horrible day, I have something to look forward to do and makes me happy. Being a teacher, I don’t have much time, but I make sure to make “me” time and do things that make me happy. Being a wife and a mother amongst other things are a huge task and I give you a lot of credit. You are always putting yourself before others and you need to slow down, breathe and do things for yourself. Don’t feel bad about feeling down, you are human and you need to do things for yourself, and take care of your health. Being a special ed teacher, I have let go of myself– packed on the pounds, stopped doing things for myself, and my health started going. I realized, that I need to start taking care of myself. I make sure to get sleep, eat breakfast, pack lunch and don’t try to volunteer for everything… I make sure to put myself first because then it pays off in the end. You will be able to give more and do quality work. Feel better. I felt down today too.

I know the feeling all too well and CraftyChica’s recommendation is spot on! Keep busy, stay focused, stay positive and things will work out. And if sometimes you just wanna cry – well by all means then, cry it out! Usually makes me feel a lot better.
Chin up! From your other posts I can see that things are going your way 😀