Somewhere between and around…

Who I Am and Why I’m Here

My Daily Task for Blogging 101

I thought about saying the title and subtitle of my blog explains it all and leave it at that, but then I decided that would be a cop out.

Basically, I am here to learn more about who I am and why I’m here. Depending on the subject and passion given to it, writing is tremendously therapeutic and blogging provides a venue for opening myself up to the world. As a distrustful introvert, this venue is especially good for me.

On good days, I freelance as a ghost writer. On mediocre days, I write for a client or two, read, and get some housework done. On bad days, I either don’t have any work at all or my creative process is broken down and I cannot focus on anything beyond making coffee.

Shortly after my last child graduated from high school and went away to college, I decided to finish my degree in web development. I was doing well. I failed to make the President’s List only once and even then I was on the Dean’s list. I studied hard and was fortunate to have friends who were there to help me study. Then, in the last semester of college, I started to have strange sensations in my head and found myself grappling to remember simple concepts. My comprehension went from high to nearly non-existent. Did I say last semester? It was my last CLASS. I finally gave it up completely after I had a major seizure which was followed by numerous partials and drop seizures. I looked at the text and I may as well have been looking at an alien language.

Nobody could explain why all this was happening to me. Three and a quarter years later, I was finally referred to a neurologist who found the problem. Because of traumatic brain injury in the past, I have scarring in my brain and I have seizures originating and generalizing from BOTH temporal lobes.

It wasn’t easily found on MRI’s or CAT scans and so the strange things that I had been reporting to doctors (now correctly identified as temporal lobe seizures) were thought to be symptomatic of bipolar disorder.

I have bipolar disorder. It was brought on my damage to my head. So it is IN my head, but not “in my head”. How wonderful to find out my brand of crazy isn’t the same brand of crazy. I go from feeling relieved to just wanting to throw up.

Now that my doctor has found the perfect combination of drugs to control my seizures and I am on another drug to keep the bipolar disorder balanced, I am in a much better state of mind.

I want to learn about writing for myself and I want to draw readers who are attracted to that. That is where I start. I don’t know where that will lead, but I am excited to learn!