A wild and desolate region; only thickets, rocks, and a single tree are seen. EUELPIDES and PITHETAERUS enter, each with a bird in his hand.

EUELPIDES to his jay

Do you think I should walk straight for yon tree?

PITHETAERUS to his crow

Cursed beast, what are you croaking to me?...to retrace my steps?

EUELPIDES

Why, you wretch, we are wandering at random, we are exerting
ourselves only to return to the same spot; we're wasting our time.

PITHETAERUS

To think that I should trust to this crow, which has made me
cover more than a thousand furlongs!

EUELPIDES

And that I, in obedience to this jay, should have worn my toes
down to the nails!

PITHETAERUS

If only I knew where we were....

EUELPIDES

Could you find your country again from here?

PITHETAERUS

No, I feel quite sure I could not, any more than could Execestides
find his.

EUELPIDES

Alas!

PITHETAERUS

Aye, aye, my friend, it's surely the road of "alases" we are
following.

EUELPIDES

That Philocrates, the bird-seller, played us a scurvy trick,
when he pretended these two guides could help us to find Tereus, the Epops,
who is a bird, without being born of one. He has indeed sold us this jay,
a true son of Tharrhelides, for an obolus, and this crow for three, but
what can they do? Why, nothing whatever but bite and scratch!

To his jay

What's the matter with you then, that you keep opening your beak? Do you
want us to fling ourselves headlong down these rocks? There is no road
that way.

PITHETAERUS

Not even the vestige of a trail in any direction

EUELPIDES

And what does the crow say about the road to follow?

PITHETAERUS

By Zeus, it no longer croaks the same thing it did.

EUELPIDES

And which way does it tell us to go now?

PITHETAERUS

It says that, by dint of gnawing, it will devour my fingers.

EUELPIDES

What misfortune is ours! we strain every nerve to get to the
crows, do everything we can to that end, and we cannot find our way! Yes,
spectators, our madness is quite different from that of Sacas. He is not
a citizen, and would fain be one at any cost; we, on the contrary, born
of an honourable tribe and family and living in the midst of our fellow-citizens,
we have fled from our country as hard as ever we could go. It's not that
we hate it; we recognize it to be great and rich, likewise that everyone
has the right to ruin himself paying taxes; but the crickets only chirrup
among the fig-trees for a month or two, whereas the Athenians spend their
whole lives in chanting forth judgments from their law-courts. That is
why we started off with a basket, a stew-pot and some myrtle boughs! and
have come to seek a quiet country in which to settle. We are going to Tereus,
the Epops, to learn from him, whether, in his aerial flights, he has noticed
some town of this kind.

PITHETAERUS

Here! look!

EUELPIDES

What's the matter?

PITHETAERUS

Why, the crow has been directing me to something up there for
some time now.

EUELPIDES

And the jay is also opening it beak and craning its neck to
show me I know not what. Clearly, there are some birds about here. We shall
soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them.

PITHETAERUS

Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock.

EUELPIDES

And you your head to double the noise.

PITHETAERUS

Well then use a stone instead; take one and hammer with it.

EUELPIDES

Good idea!

He does so.

Ho there, within! Slave! slave!

PITHETAERUS

What's that, friend! You say, "slave," to summon Epops? It
would be much better to shout, "Epops, Epops!

EUELPIDES

Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops!

TROCHILUS rushing out of a thicket

Who's there? Who calls my master?

PITHETAERUS in terror

Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak!

He defecates. In the confusion both the jay and the crow fly
away.

TROCHILUS equally frightened

Good god! they are bird-catchers.

EUELPIDES reassuring himself

But is it so terrible? Wouldn't it be better to explain things?

TROCHILUS also reassuring himself

You're done for.

EUELPIDES

But we are not men.

TROCHILUS

What are you, then?

EUELPIDES defecating also

I am the Fearling, an African bird.

TROCHILUS

You talk nonsense.

EUELPIDES

Well, then, just ask it of my feet.

TROCHILUS

And this other one, what bird is it?

To PITHETAERUS

Speak up

PITHETAERUS weakly

I? I am a Crapple, from the land of the pheasants.

EUELPIDES

But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are
you?

TROCHILUS

Why, I am a slave-bird.

EUELPIDES

Why, have you been conquered by a cock?

TROCHILUS

No, but when my master was turned into a hoopoe, he begged
me to become a bird also, to follow and to serve him.

EUELPIDES

Does a bird need a servant, then?

TROCHILUS

That's no doubt because he was once a man. At times he wants
to eat a dish of sardines from Phalerum; I seize my dish and fly to fetch
him some. Again he wants some pea-soup; I seize a ladle and a pot and run
to get it.

EUELPIDES

This is, then, truly a running-bird. Come, Trochilus, do us
the kindness to call your master.

TROCHILUS

Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtle-berries
and a few grubs.

EUELPIDES

Never mind; wake him up.

TROCHILUS

I an; certain he will be angry. However, I will wake him to
please you.

He goes back into the thicket.

PITHETAERUS as soon as TROCHILUS is out of sight

You cursed brute! why, I am almost dead with terror!

EUELPIDES

Oh! my god! it was sheer fear that made me lose my jay.

PITHETAERUS

Ah! you big coward! were you so frightened that you let go
your jay?

EUELPIDES

And did you not lose your crow, when you fell sprawling on
the ground? Tell me that.

PITHETAERUS

Not at all.

EUELPIDES

Where is it, then?

PITHETAERUS

It flew away.

EUELPIDES

And you did not let it go? Oh! you brave fellow!

EPOPS from within

Open the thicket, that I may go out!

He comes out of the thicket.

EUELPIDES

By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What means this
triple crest?

EPOPS

Who wants me?

EUELPIDES banteringly

The twelve great gods have used you ill, it seems.

EPOPS

Are you twitting me about my feathers? I have been a man, strangers.

EUELPIDES

It's not you we are jeering at.

EPOPS

At what, then?

EUELPIDES

Why, it's your beak that looks so ridiculous to us.

EPOPS

This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I
once was Tereus.

EUELPIDES

You were Tereus, and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?

EPOPS

I am a bird.

EUELPIDES

Then where are your feathers? I don't see any.

EPOPS

They have fallen off.

EUELPIDES

Through illness?

EPOPS

No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter,
and others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?

EUELPIDES

We? We are mortals.

EPOPS

From what country?

EUELPIDES

From the land of the beautful galleys.

EPOPS

Are you dicasts?

EUELPIDES

No, if anything, we are anti-dicasts.

EPOPS

Is that kind of seed sown among you?

EUELPIDES

You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.

EPOPS

What brings you here?

EUELPIDES

We wish to pay you a visit.

EPOPS

What for?

EUELPIDES

Because you formerly were a man, like we are, formerly you
had debts, as we have, formerly you did not want to pay them, like ourselves;
furthermore, being turned into a bird, you have when flying seen all lands
and seas. Thus you have all human knowledge as well as that of birds. And
hence we have come to you to beg you to direct us to some cosy town, in
which one can repose as if on thick coverlets.

EPOPS

And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?

EUELPIDES

No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to live in.

EPOPS

Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.

EUELPIDES

I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.

EPOPS

But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?

EUELPIDES

A place where the following would be the most important business:
transacted.-Some friend would come knocking at the door quite early in
the morning saying, "By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early. as soon as
you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am giving a feast, so don't
fail, or else don't cross my threshold when I am in distress."

EPOPS

Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships!

To PITHETAERUS

And what say you?

PITHETAERUS

My tastes are similar.

EPOPS

And they are?

PITHETAERUS

I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop
in the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, "Ah!
Is this well done, Stilbonides? You met my son coming from the bath after
the gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor kissed him, nor took him
with you, nor ever once felt his balls. Would anyone call you an old friend
of mine?"

EPOPS

Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city
of delights such as you want. It's on the Red Sea.

EUELPIDES

Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian
galley can appear, bringing a process-server along. Have you no Greek town
you can propose to us?

EPOPS

Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement?

EUELPIDES

By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because
of Melanthius.

EPOPS

Then, again, there is the Opuntian Locris, where you could
live.

EUELPIDES

I would not be Opuntian for a talent. But come, what is it
like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well.

EPOPS

Why, it's not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one
has no purse.

EUELPIDES

That does away with a lot of roguery.

EPOPS

For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries,
poppies and mint.

EUELPIDES

Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.

PITHETAERUS

Ha! I am beginning to see a great plan, which will transfer
the supreme power to the birds, if you will but take my advice.

EPOPS

Take your advice? In what way?

PITHETAERUS

In what way? Well, firstly, do not fly in all directions with
open beak; it is not dignified. Among us, when we see a thoughtless man,
we ask, "What sort of bird is this?" and Teleas answers, "It's a man who
has no brain, a bird that has lost his head, a creature you cannot catch,
for it never remains in any one place."

EPOPS

By Zeus himself! your jest hits the mark. What then is to be
done?

PITHETAERUS

Found a city.

EPOPS

We birds? But what sort of city should we build?

PITHETAERUS

Oh, really, really! you talk like such a fool! Look down.

EPOPS

I am looking.

PITHETAERUS

Now look up.

EPOPS

I am looking.

PITHETAERUS

Turn your head round.

EPOPS

Ah! it will be pleasant for me if I end in twisting my neck
of!

PITHETAERUS

What have you seen?

EPOPS

The clouds and the sky.

PITHETAERUS

Very well! is not this the pole of the birds then?

EPOPS

How their pole?

PITHETAERUS

Or, if you like it, their place. And since it turns and passes
through the whole universe, it is called 'pole.' If you build and fortify
it, you will turn your pole into a city. In this way you will reign over
mankind as you do over the grasshoppers and you will cause the gods to
die of rabid hunger

EPOPS

How so?

PITHETAERUS

The air is between earth and heaven. When we want to go to
Delphi, we ask the Boeotians for leave of passage; in the same way, when
men sacrifice to the gods, unless the latter pay you tribute, you exercise
the right of every nation towards strangers and don't allow the smoke of
the sacrifices to pass through your city and territory.

EPOPS

By earth! by snares! by network! by cages! I never heard of
anything more cleverly conceived; and, if the other birds approve, I am
going to build the city along with you.

PITHETAERUS

Who will explain the matter to them?

EPOPS

You must yourself. Before I came they were quite ignorant,
but since have lived with them I have taught them to speak.

PITHETAERUS

But how can they be gathered together?

EPOPS

Easily. I will hasten down to the thicket to waken my dear
Procne and as soon as they hear our voices, they will come to us hot wing.

PITHETAERUS

My dear bird, lose no time, please! Fly at once into the thicket
and awaken Procne.

EPOPS rushes into the thicket.

EPOPS from within; singing

Chase off drowsy sleep, dear companion. Let the sacred hymn gush from thy
divine throat in melodious strains; roll forth in soft cadence your refreshing
melodies to bewail the fate of Itys, which has been the cause of so many
tears to us both. Your pure notes rise through the thick leaves of the
yew-tree right up to the throne of Zeus, where Phoebus listens to you,
Phoebus with his golden hair. And his ivory lyre responds to your plaintive
accents; he gathers the choir of the gods and from their immortal lips
pours forth a sacred chant of blessed voices.

The flute is played behind the scene, imitating the song of the
nightingale.

PITHETAERUS

Oh! by Zeus! what a throat that little bird possesses. He has
filled the whole thicket with honey-sweet melody!

EUELPIDES

Hush!

PITHETAERUS

What's the matter?

EUELPIDES

Be still!

PITHETAERUS

What for?

EUELPIDES

Epops is going to sing again.

EPOPS in the thicket, singing

Epopopoi popoi popopopoi popoi, here, here, quick, quick, quick, my comrades
in the air; all you who pillage the fertile lands of the husbandmen, the
numberless tribes who gather and devour the barley seeds, the swift flying
race that sings so sweetly. And you whose gentle twitter resounds through
the fields with the little cry of tiotictiotiotiotiotiotio; and you who
hop about the branches of the ivy in the gardens; the mountain birds, who
feed on the wild olive-berries or the arbutus, hurry to come at my call,
trioto, trioto, totobrix; you also, who snap up the sharp-stinging gnats
in the marshy vales, and you who dwell in the fine plain of Marathon, all
damp with dew, and you, the francolin with speckled wings; you too, the
halcyons, who flit over the swelling waves of the sea, come hither to hear
the tidings; let all the tribes of long-necked birds assemble here; know
that a clever old man has come to us, bringing an entirely new idea and
proposing great reforms. Let all come to the debate here, here, here, here.
Torotorotorotorotix, kikkabau, kikkabau, torotorotorolililix.

PITHETAERUS

Can you see any bird?

EUELPIDES

By Phoebus, no! and yet I am straining my eyesight to scan
the sky.

PITHETAERUS

It was hardly worth Epops' while to go and bury himself in
the thicket like a hatching plover.

A BIRD entering

Torotix, torotix.

PITHETAERUS

Wait, friend, there's a bird.

EUELPIDES

By Zeus, it is a bird, but what kind? Isn't it a peacock?

PITHETAERUS as EPOPS comes out of the thicket

Epops will tell us. What is this bird?

EPOPS

It's not one of those you are used to seeing; it's a bird from
the marshes.

EUELPIDES

Oh! oh! but he is very handsome with his wings as crimson as
flame.

EPOPS

Undoubtedly; indeed he is called flamingo.

EUELPIDES excitedly

Hi! I say! You!

PITHETAERUS

What are you shouting for?

EUELPIDES

Why, here's another bird.

PITHETAERUS

Aye, indeed; this one's a foreign bird too.

To EPOPS

What is this bird from beyond the mountains with a look as solemn as it
is stupid?

EPOPS

He is called the Mede.

EUELPIDES

The Mede! But, by Heracles, how, if a Mede, has he flown here
without a camel?

PITHETAERUS

Here's another bird with a crest.

From here on, the numerous birds that make up the CHORUS keep rushing
in.

EUELPIDES

Ah! that's curious. I say, Epops, you are not the only one
of your kind then?

EPOPS

This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops;
so that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, Hipponicus,
the son of Callias, who is the son of Hipponicus.

EUELPIDES

Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of his feathers
he has lost!

EPOPS

That's because he is honest; so the informers set upon him
and the women too pluck out his feathers.

EUELPIDES

By Posidon, do you see that many-coloured bird? What is his
name?

EPOPS

This one? That's the glutton.

EUELPIDES

Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus? But why, if he
is Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest? But what is the meaning
of all these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double stadium
prize?

EPOPS

They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their
mountains for greater safety.

PITHETAERUS

Oh, Posidon! look what awful swarms of birds are gathering
here!

EUELPIDES

By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance to the stage is no longer
visible, so closely do they fly together.

PITHETAERUS

Here is the partridge.

EUELPIDES

Why, there is the francolin.

PITHETAERUS

There is the poachard.

EUELPIDES

Here is the kingfisher.

To EPOPS

What's that bird behind the king fisher?

EPOPS

That's the barber.

EUELPIDES

What? a bird a barber?

PITHETAERUS

Why, Sporgilus is one.

EPOPS

Here comes the owl.

EUELPIDES

And who is it brings an owl to Athens?

EPOPS pointing to the various species

Here is the magpie, the turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned-owl, the buzzard,
the pigeon, the falcon, the ring-dove, the cuckoo, the red-foot, the red-cap,
the purple-cap. the kestrel, the diver, the ousel, the osprey, the woodpecker...

PITHETAERUS

Oh! what a lot of birds!

EUELPIDES

Oh! what a lot of blackbirds!

PITHETAERUS

How they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise! what
a noise!

EUELPIDES

Can they be bearing us ill-will?

PITHETAERUS

Oh! there! there! they are opening their beaks and staring
at us.

EUELPIDES

Why, so they are.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Popopopopopo. Where is he who called me? Where am I to find
him?

EPOPS

I have been waiting for you a long while! I never fail in my
word to my friends.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Tititititititi. What good news have you for me?

EPOPS

Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just
as pleasant as it is to the point. Two men, who are subtle reasoners, have
come here to seek me.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Where? How? What are you saying?

EPOPS

I say, two old men have come from the abode of humans to propose
a vast and splendid scheme to us.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Oh! it's a horrible, unheard-of crime! What are you saying?

EPOPS

Never let my words scare you.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

What have you done to me?

EPOPS

I have welcomed two men, who wish to live with us.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And you have dared to do that!

EPOPS

Yes, and I am delighted at having done so.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And are they already with us?

EPOPS

Just as much as I am.

CHORUS singing

Ah! ah! we are betrayed; 'tis sacrilege! Our friend, he who picked up corn-seeds
in the same plains as ourselves, has violated our ancient laws; he has
broken the oaths that bind all birds; he has laid a snare for me, he has
handed us over to the attacks of that impious race which, throughout all
time, has never ceased to war against us.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

As for this traitorous bird, we will decide his case later,
but the two old men shall be punished forthwith; we are going to tear them
to pieces.

PITHETAERUS

It's all over with us.

EUELPIDES

You are the sole cause of all our trouble. Why did you bring
me from down yonder?

PITHETAERUS

To have you with me.

EUELPIDES

Say rather to have me melt into tears.

PITHETAERUS

Go on! you are talking nonsense. How will you weep with your
eyes pecked out?

CHORUS singing

Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe, spill his
blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. Woe to them!
let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them. Nothing can save
them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, nor the clouds that
float in the sky, nor the foaming deep.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort?
Let him engage the right wing.

They rush at the two Athenians.

EUELPIDES

This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate
wretch that am?

PITHETAERUS

Wait! Stay here!

EUELPIDES

That they may tear me to pieces?

PITHETAERUS

And how do you think to escape them?

EUELPIDES

I don't know at all.

PITHETAERUS

Come, I will tell you. We must stop and fight them. Let us
arm ourselves with these stew-pots.

EUELPIDES

Why with the stew-pots?

PITHETAERUS

The owl will not attack us then.

EUELPIDES

But do you see all those hooked claws?

PITHETAERUS

Take the spit and pierce the foe on your side.

EUELPIDES

And how about my eyes?

PITHETAERUS

Protect them with this dish or this vinegar-pot.

EUELPIDES

Oh! what cleverness! what inventive genius! You are a great
general, even greater than Nicias, where stratagem is concerned.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Forward, forward, charge with your beaks! Come, no delay. Tear,
pluck, strike, flay them, and first of all smash the stew-pot.

EPOPS stepping in front of the CHORUS

Oh, most cruel of all animals, why tear these two men to pieces, why kill
them? What have they done to you? They belong to the same tribe, to the
same family as my wife.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Are wolves to be spared? Are they not our most mortal foes?
So let us punish them.

EPOPS

If they are your foes by nature, they are your friends in heart,
and they come here to give you useful advice.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Advice or a useful word from their lips, from them, the enemies
of my forebears?

EPOPS

The wise can often profit by the lessons of a foe, for caution
is the mother of safety. It is just such a thing as one will not learn
from a friend and which an enemy compels you to know. To begin with, it's
the foe and not the friend that taught cities to build high walls, to equip
long vessels of war; and it's this knowledge that protects our children,
our slaves and our wealth.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for that is best;
one can even learn something in an enemy's school.

PITHETAERUS to EUELPIDES

Their wrath seems to cool. Draw back a little.

EPOPS

It's only justice, and you will thank me later.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Never have we opposed your advice up to now.

PITHETAERUS

They are in a more peaceful mood,-put down your stew-pot and
your two dishes; spit in hand, doing duty for a spear, let us mount guard
inside the camp close to the pot and watch in our arsenal closely; for
we must not fly.

EUELPIDES

You are right. But where shall we be buried, if we die?

PITHETAERUS

In the Ceramicus; for, to get a public funeral, we shall tell
the Strategi that we fell at Orneae, fighting the country's foes.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Return to your ranks and lay down your courage beside your
wrath as the hoplites do. Then let us ask these men who they are, whence
they come, and with what intent. Here, Epops, answer me.

EPOPS

Are you calling me? What do you want of me?

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Who are they? From what country?

EPOPS

Strangers, who have come from Greece, the land of the wise.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And what fate has led them hither to the land of the birds?

EPOPS

Their love for you and their wish to share your kind of life;
to dwell and remain with you always.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Indeed, and what are their plans?

EPOPS

They are wonderful, incredible, unheard of.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them
to settle here? Are they hoping with our help to triumph over their foes
or to be useful to their friends?

EPOPS

They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to
describe or conceive them; all shall be yours, all that we see here, there,
above and below us; this they vouch for.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Are they mad?

EPOPS

They are the sanest people in the world.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Clever men?

EPOPS

The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world,
cunning, the cream of knowing folk.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you,
I am beside myself with delight.

EPOPS to two attendants

Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside dose to
the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and under his protection;

to PITHETAERUS

as for you, address the birds, tell them why I have gathered them together.

PITHETAERUS

Not I, by Apollo, unless they agree with me as the little ape
of an armourer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the
balls, nor shove things into my...

EUELPIDES bending over and pointing his finger at his anus

Do you mean this?

PITHETAERUS

No, I mean my eyes.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Agreed.

PITHETAERUS

Swear it.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators
give me the victory unanimously.

PITHETAERUS

It is a bargain.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only.

EPOPS as HERALD

Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to your firesides;
do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have posted.

CHORUS singing

Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps you
are going to show me some good way to extend my power, some way that I
have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. Speak!
'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure me some
advantage, I will surely share it with you.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

But what object can have induced you to come among us? Speak
boldly, for I shall not break the truce,-until you have told us all.

PITHETAERUS

I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the
dough of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it....Slave!
bring the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick!

EUELPIDES

Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean?

PITHETAERUS

By Zeus, no! but I am hunting for fine, tasty words to break
down the hardness of their hearts.

To the CHORUS

I grieve so much for you, who at one time were kings...

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

We kings? Over whom?

PITHETAERUS

...of all that exists, firstly of me and of this man, even
of Zeus himself. Your race is older than Saturn, the Titans and the Earth.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

What, older than the Earth!

PITHETAERUS

By Phoebus, yes.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

By Zeus, but I never knew that before!

PITHETAERUS

That's because you are ignorant and heedless, and have never
read your Aesop. He is the one who tells us that the lark was born before
all other creatures, indeed before the Earth; his father died of sickness,
but the Earth did not exist then; he remained unburied for five days, when
the bird in its dilemma decided, for want of a better place, to entomb
its father in its own head.

EUELPIDES

So that the lark's father is buried at Cephalae.

PITHETAERUS

Hence, if they existed before the Earth, before the gods, the
kingship belongs to them by right of priority.

EUELPIDES

Undoubtedly, but sharpen your beak well; Zeus won't be in a
hurry to hand over his sceptre to the woodpecker.

PITHETAERUS

It was not the gods, but the birds, who were formerly the masters
and kings over men; of this I have a thousand proofs. First of all, I will
point you to the cock, who governed the Persians before all other monarchs,
before Darius and Megabazus. It's in memory of his reign that he is called
the Persian bird.

EUELPIDES

For this reason also, even to-day, he alone of all the birds
wears his tiara straight on his head, like the Great King.

PITHETAERUS

He was so strong, so great, so feared, that even now, on account
of his ancient power, everyone jumps out of bed as soon as ever he crows
at daybreak. Blacksmiths, potters, tanners, shoemakers, bathmen, corndealers,
lyre-makers and armourers, all put on their shoes and go to work before
it is daylight.

EUELPIDES

I can tell you something about that. It was the cock's fault
that I lost a splendid tunic of Phrygian wool. I was at a feast in town,
given to celebrate the birth of a child; I had drunk pretty freely and
had just fallen asleep, when a cock, I suppose in a greater hurry than
the rest, began to crow. I thought it was dawn and set out for Halimus.
I had hardly got beyond the walls, when a footpad struck me in the back
with his bludgeon; down I went and wanted to shout, but he had already
made off with my mantle.

PITHETAERUS

Formerly also the kite was ruler and king over the Greeks.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

The Greeks?

PITHETAERUS

And when he was king, he was the one who first taught them
to fall on their knees before the kites.

EUELPIDES

By Zeus! that's what I did myself one day on seeing a kite;
but at the moment I was on my knees, and leaning backwards with mouth agape,
I bolted an obolus and was forced to carry my meal-sack home empty.

PITHETAERUS

The cuckoo was king of Egypt and of the whole of Phoenicia.
When he called out "cuckoo," all the Phoenicians hurried to the fields
to reap their wheat and their barley.

EUELPIDES

Hence no doubt the proverb, "Cuckoo! cuckoo! go to the fields,
ye circumcised."

PITHETAERUS

So powerful were the birds that the kings of Grecian cities,
Agamemnon, Menelaus, for instance, carried a bird on the tip of their sceptres,
who had his share of all presents.

EUELPIDES

That I didn't know and was much astonished when I saw Priam
come upon the stage in the tragedies with a bird, which kept watching Lysicrates
to see if he got any present.

PITHETAERUS

But the strongest proof of all is that Zeus, who now reigns,
is represented as standing with an eagle on his head as a symbol of his
royalty; his daughter has an owl, and Phoebus, as his servant, has a hawk.

EUELPIDES

By Demeter, the point is well taken. But what are all these
birds doing in heaven?

PITHETAERUS

When anyone sacrifices and, according to the rite, offers the
entrails to the gods, these birds take their share before Zeus. Formerly
men always swore by the birds and never by the gods.

EUELPIDES

And even now Lampon swears by the goose whenever he wishes
to deceive someone.

PITHETAERUS

Thus it is clear that you were once great and sacred, but now
you are looked upon as slaves, as fools, as Maneses; stones are thrown
at you as at raving madmen, even in holy places. A crowd of bird-catchers
sets snares, traps, limed twigs and nets of all sorts for you; you are
caught, you are sold in heaps and the buyers finger you over to be certain
you are fat. Again, if they would but serve you up simply roasted; but
they rasp cheese into a mixture of oil, vinegar and laserwort, to which
another sweet and greasy sauce is added, and the whole is poured scalding
hot over your back, for all the world as if you were diseased meat.

CHORUS singing

Man, your words have made my heart bleed; I have groaned over the treachery
of our fathers, who knew not how to transmit to us the high rank they held
from their forefathers. But 'tis a benevolent Genius, a happy Fate, that
sends you to us; you shall be our deliverer and I place the destiny of
my little ones and my own in your hands with every confidence.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

But hasten to tell me what must be done; we should not be worthy
to live, if we did not seek to regain our royalty by every possible means.

PITHETAERUS

First I advise that the birds gather together in one city and
that they build a wall of great bricks, like that at Babylon, round the
plains of the air and the whole region of space that divides earth from
heaven.

EPOPS

Oh, Cebriones! oh, Porphyrion! what a terribly strong place!

PITHETAERUS

Then, when this has been well done and completed, you demand
back the empire from Zeus; if he will not agree, if he refuses and does
not at once confess himself beaten, you declare a sacred war against him
and forbid the gods henceforward to pass through your country with their
tools up, as hitherto, for the purpose of laying their Alcmenas, their
Alopes, or their Semeles! if they try to pass through, you put rings on
their tools so that they can't make love any longer. You send another messenger
to mankind, who will proclaim to them that the birds are kings, that for
the future they must first of all sacrifice to them, and only afterwards
to the gods; that it is fitting to appoint to each deity the bird that
has most in common with it. For instance, are they sacrificing to Aphrodite,
let them at the same time offer barley to the coot; are they immolating
a sheep to Posidon, let them consecrate wheat in honour of the duck; if
a steer is being offered to Heracles, let honey-cakes be dedicated to the
gull; if a goat is being slain for King Zeus, there is a King-Bird, the
wren, to whom the sacrifice of a male gnat is due before Zeus himself even.

EUELPIDES

This notion of an immolated gnat delights me! And now let the
great Zeus thunder!

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

But how will mankind recognize us as gods and not as jays?
Us, who have wings and fly?

PITHETAERUS

You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies,
and so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden wings,
Eros is undoubtedly winged too, and Iris is compared by Homer to a timorous
dove.

EUELPIDES

But will not Zeus thunder and send his winged bolts against
us?

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

If men in their blindness do not recognize us as gods and so
continue to worship the dwellers in Olympus?

PITHETAERUS

Then a cloud of sparrows greedy for corn must descend upon
their fields and eat up all their seeds; we shall see then if Demeter will
mete them out any wheat.

EUELPIDES

By Zeus, she'll take good care she does not, and you will see
her inventing a thousand excuses.

PITHETAERUS

The crows too will prove your divinity to them by pecking out
the eyes of their flocks and of their draught-oxen; and then let Apollo
cure them, since he is a physician and is paid for the purpose.

EUELPIDES

Oh! don't do that! Wait first until I have sold my two young
bullocks.

PITHETAERUS

If on the other hand they recognize that you are God, the principle
of life, that. you are Earth, Saturn, Posidon, they shall be loaded with
benefits.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Name me one of these then.

PITHETAERUS

Firstly, the locusts shall not eat up their vine-blossoms;
a legion of owls and kestrels will devour them. Moreover, the gnats and
the gallbugs shall no longer ravage the figs; a flock of thrushes shall
swallow the whole host down to the very last.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And how shall we give wealth to mankind? This is their strongest
passion.

PITHETAERUS

When they consult the omens, you will point them to the richest
mines, you will reveal the paying ventures to the diviner, and not another
shipwreck will happen or sailor perish.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

No more shall perish? How is that?

PITHETAERUS

When the auguries are examined before starting on a voyage,
some bird will not fail to say, "Don't start! there will be a storm," or
else, "Go! you will make a most profitable venture."

EUELPIDES

I shall buy a trading-vessel and go to sea, I will not stay
with you.

PITHETAERUS

You will discover treasures to them, which were buried in former
times, for you know them. Do not all men say, "None knows where my treasure
lies, unless perchance it be some bird."

EUELPIDES

I shall sell my boat and buy a spade to unearth the vessels.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

And how are we to give them health, which belongs to the gods?

PITHETAERUS

If they are happy, is not that the chief thing towards health?
The miserable man is never well.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Old Age also dwells in Olympus. How will they get at it? Must
they die in early youth?

PITHETAERUS

Why, the birds, by Zeus, will add three hundred years to their
life.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

From whom will they take them?

PITHETAERUS

From whom? Why, from themselves. Don't you know the cawing
crow lives five times as long as a man?

EUELPIDES

Ah! ah! these are far better kings for us than Zeus!

PITHETAERUS solemnly

Far better, are they not? And firstly, we shall not have to build them
temples of hewn stone, closed with gates of gold; they will dwell amongst
the bushes and in the thickets of green oak; the most venerated of birds
will have no other temple than the foliage of the olive tree; we shall
not go to Delphi or to Ammon to sacrifice; but standing erect in the midst
of arbutus and wild olives and holding forth our hands filled with wheat
and barley, we shall pray them to admit us to a share of the blessings
they enjoy and shall at once obtain them for a few grains of wheat.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Old man, whom I detested, you are now to me the dearest of
all; never shall I, if I can help it, fail to follow your advice.

CHORUS singing

Inspirited by your words, I threaten my rivals the gods, and I swear that
if you march in alliance with me against the gods and are faithful to our
just, loyal and sacred bond, we shall soon have shattered their sceptre,

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

We shall charge ourselves with the performance of everything
that requires force; that which demands thought and deliberation shall
be yours to supply.

EPOPS

By Zeus! it's no longer the time to delay and loiter like Nicias;
let us act as promptly as possible.... In the first place, come, enter
my nest built of brushwood and blades of straw, and tell me your names.

PITHETAERUS

That is soon done; my name is Pithetaerus, and his, Euelpides,
of the deme Crioa.

EPOPS

Good! and good luck to you.

PITHETAERUS

We accept the omen.

EPOPS

Come in here.

PITHETAERUS

Very well, you are the one who must lead us and introduce us.

EPOPS

Come then.

He starts to fly away.

PITHETAERUS stopping himself

Oh! my god! do come back here. Hi! tell us how we are to follow you. You
can fly, but we cannot.

EPOPS

Well, well.

PITHETAERUS

Remember Aesop's fables. It is told there that the fox fared
very badly, because he had made an alliance with the eagle.

EPOPS

Be at ease. You shall eat a certain root and wings will grow
on your shoulders.

PITHETAERUS

Then let us enter. Xanthias and Manodorus, pick up our baggage.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Hi! Epops! do you hear me?

EPOPS

What's the matter?

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Take them off to dine well and call your mate, the melodious
Procne, whose songs are worthy of the Muses; she will delight our leisure
moments.

PITHETAERUS

Oh! I conjure you, accede to their wish; for this delightful
bird will leave her rushes at the sound of your voice; for the sake of
the gods, let her come here, so that we may contemplate the nightingale.

EPOPS

Let is be as you desire. Come forth, Procne, show yourself
to these strangers.

PROCNE appears; she resembles a young flute-girl.

PITHETAERUS

Oh! great Zeus! what a beautiful little bird! what a dainty
form! what brilliant plumage! Do you know how dearly I should like to get
between her thighs?

EUELPIDES

She is dazzling all over with gold, like a young girl. Oh!
how I should like to kiss her!

PITHETAERUS

Why, wretched man, she has two little sharp points on her beak!

EUELPIDES

I would treat her like an egg, the shell of which we remove
before eating it; I would take off her mask and then kiss her pretty face.

EPOPS

Let us go in.

PITHETAERUS

Lead the way, and may success attend us.

EPOPS goes into the thicket, followed by PITHETAERUS and
EUELPIDES.

CHORUS singing

Lovable golden bird, whom I cherish above all others, you, whom I associate
with all my songs, nightingale, you have come, you have come, to show yourself
to me and to charm me with your notes. Come, you, who play spring melodies
upon the harmonious flute, lead off our anapests.

The CHORUS turns and faces the audience.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Weak mortals, chained to the earth, creatures of clay as frail
as the foliage of the woods, you unfortunate race, whose life is but darkness,
as unreal as a shadow, the illusion of a dream, hearken to us, who are
immortal beings, ethereal, ever young and occupied with eternal thoughts,
for we shall teach you about all celestial matters; you shall know thoroughly
what is the nature of the birds, what the origin of the gods, of the rivers,
of Erebus, and Chaos; thanks to us, even Prodicus will envy you your
knowledge.

At the beginning there was only Chaos, Night, dark Erebus, and
deep Tartarus. Earth, the air and heaven had no existence. Firstly, black-winged
Night laid a germless egg in the bosom of the infinite deeps of Erebus,
and from this, after the revolution of long ages, sprang the graceful Eros
with his glittering golden wings, swift as the whirlwinds of the tempest.
He mated in deep Tartarus with dark Chaos, winged like himself, and thus
hatched forth our race, which was the first to see the light. That of the
Immortals did not exist until Eros had brought together all the ingredients
of the world, and from their marriage Heaven, Ocean, Earth and the imperishable
race of blessed gods sprang into being. Thus our origin is very much older
than that of the dwellers in Olympus. We are the offspring of Eros; there
are a thousand proofs to show it. We have wings and we lend assistance
to lovers. How many handsome youths, who had sworn to remain insensible,
have opened their thighs because of our power and have yielded themselves
to their lovers when almost at the end of their youth, being led away by
the gift of a quail, a waterfowl, a goose, or a cock.

And what important services do not the birds render to mortals!
First of all, they mark the seasons for them, springtime, winter, and autumn.
Does the screaming crane migrate to Libya,-it warns the husbandman to sow,
the pilot to take his ease beside his tiller hung up in his dwelling, and
Orestes to weave a tunic, so that the rigorous cold may not drive him any
more to strip other folk. When the kite reappears, he tells of the return
of spring and of the period when the fleece of the sheep must be clipped.
Is the swallow in sight? All hasten to sell their warm tunic and to buy
some light clothing. We are your Ammon, Delphi, Dodona, your Phoebus Apollo.
Before undertaking anything, whether a business transaction, a marriage,
or the purchase of food, you consult the birds by reading the omens, and
you give this name of omen to all signs that tell of the future. With you
a word is an omen, you call a sneeze an omen, a meeting an omen, an unknown
sound an omen, a slave or an ass an omen. Is it not clear that we are a
prophetic Apollo to you?

More and more rapidly from here on.

If you recognize us as gods, we shall be your divining Muses, through us
you will know the winds and the seasons, summer, winter, and the temperate
months. We shall not withdraw ourselves to the highest clouds like Zeus,
but shall be among you and shall give to you and to your children and the
children of your children, health and wealth, long life, peace, youth,
laughter, songs and feasts; in short, you will all be so well off, that
you will be weary and cloyed with enjoyment.

FIRST SEMI-CHORUS singing

Oh, rustic Muse of such varied note, tiotiotiotiotiotinx, I sing with you
in the groves and on the mountain tops, tiotiotiotinx. I poured forth sacred
strains from my golden throat in honour of the god Pan, tiotiotiotinx,
from the top of the thickly leaved ash, and my voice mingles with the mighty
choirs who extol Cybele on the mountain tops, totototototototototinx. 'Tis
to our concerts that Phrynichus comes to pillage like a bee the ambrosia
of his songs, the sweetness of which so charms the ear, tiotiotiotinx.

LEADER OF FIRST SEMI-CHORUS

If there is one of you spectators who wishes to spend the rest
of his life quietly among the birds, let him come to us. All that is disgraceful
and forbidden by law on earth is on the contrary honourable among us, the
birds. For instance, among you it's a crime to beat your father, but with
us it's an estimable deed; it's considered fine to run straight at your
father and hit him, saying, "Come, lift your spur if you want to fight."
The runaway slave, whom you brand, is only a spotted francolin with us.
Are you Phrygian like Spintharus? Among us you would be the Phrygian bird,
the goldfinch, of the race of Philemon. Are you a slave and a Carian like
Execestides? Among us you can create yourself fore-fathers; you can always
find relations. Does the son of Pisias want to betray the gates of the
city to the foe? Let him become a partridge, the fitting offspring of his
father; among us there is no shame in escaping as cleverly as a partridge.

SECOND SEMI-CHORUS singing

So the swans on the banks of the Hebrus, tiotiotiotiotiotinx, mingle their
voices to serenade Apollo, tiotiotiotinx, flapping their wings the while,
tiotiotiotinx; their notes reach beyond the clouds of heaven; they startle
the various tribes of the beasts; a windles sky calms the waves, totototototototototinx;
all Olympus resounds, and astonishment seizes its rulers; the Olympian
graces and Muses cry aloud the strain, tiotiotiotinx.

LEADER OF SECOND SEMI-CHORUS

There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have
wings. To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with
hunger and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were
winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his stomach
filled. Some Patroclides, needing to take a crap, would not have to spill
it out on his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his requirements, let a
few farts and, having recovered his breath, return. If one of you, it matters
not who, had adulterous relations and saw the husband of his mistress in
the seats of the senators, he might stretch his wings, fly to her, and,
having laid her, resume his place. Is it not the most priceless gift of
all, to be winged? Look at Diitrephes! His wings were only wicker-work
ones, and yet he got himself chosen Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being
nobody, he has risen to be famous; he's now the finest gilded cock of his
tribe.

PITHETAERUS and EUELPIDES return; they now have wings.

PITHETAERUS

Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny
in all my life.

EUELPIDES

What makes you laugh?

PITHETAERUS

Your little wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose
painted by some dauber.

EUELPIDES

And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.

PITHETAERUS

We ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus
has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."

EPOPS

Come now, what must be done?

PITHETAERUS

First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice
to the gods.

EUELPIDES

I think so too.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Let's see. What shall our city be called?

PITHETAERUS

Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call
it Sparta?

EUELPIDES

What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for
my bed, even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.

PITHETAERUS

Well then, what name can you suggest?

EUELPIDES

Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions
in which we dwell-in short, some well-known name.

PITHETAERUS

Do you like Nephelococcygia?

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Oh! capital! truly that's a brilliant thought!

EUELPIDES

Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theogenes and
most of Aeschines' is?

PITHETAERUS

No, it's rather the plain of Phlegra, where the gods withered
the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its patron?
for whom shall we weave the peplus?

EUELPIDES

Why not choose Athene Polias?

PITHETAERUS

Oh! what a well-ordered town it would be to have a female deity
armed from head to foot, while Clisthenes was spinning!

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

Who then shall guard the Pelargicon?

PITHETAERUS

A bird.

LEADER OF THE CHORUS

One of us? What kind of bird?

PITHETAERUS

A bird of Persian strain, who is everywhere proclaimed to be
the bravest of all, a true chick of Ares.

EUELPIDES

Oh! noble chick!

PITHETAERUS

Because he is a god well suited to live on the rocks. Come!
into the air with you to help the workers who are building the wall; carry
up rubble, strip yourself to mix the mortar, take up the hod, tumble down
the ladder, if you like, post sentinels, keep the fire smouldering beneath
the ashes, go round the walls, bell in hand, and go to sleep up there yourself
then despatch two heralds, one to the gods above, the other to mankind
on earth and come back here.

EUELPIDES

As for yourself, remain here, and may the plague take you for
a troublesome fellow!

He departs.

PITHETAERUS

Go, friend, go where I send you, for without you my orders
cannot be obeyed. For myself, I want to sacrifice to the new god, and I
am going to summon the priest who must preside at the ceremony. Slaves!
slaves! bring forward the basket and the lustral water.

CHORUS singing

I do as you do, and I wish as you wish, and I implore you to address powerful
and solemn prayers to the gods, and in addition to immolate a sheep as
a token of our gratitude. Let us sing the Pythian chant in honour of the
god, and let Chaeris accompany our voices.

PITHETAERUS

Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this? Great gods! I have
seen many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven.

The PRIEST arrives.

Priest! it's high time! Sacrifice to the new gods.

PRIEST

I begin, but where is the man with the basket? Pray to the
Hestia of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and to
all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus...

PITHETAERUS

Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks!

PRIEST

...to the swan of Delos, to Leto the mother of the quails,
and to
Artemis, the goldfinch...

PITHETAERUS

It's no longer Artemis Colaenis, but Artemis the goldfinch.

PRIEST

...to Bacchus, the finch and Cybele, the ostrich and mother
of the gods and mankind...

PITHETAERUS

Oh! sovereign ostrich Cybele, mother of Cleocritus!

PRIEST

...to grant health and safety to the Nephelococcygians as well
as to the dwellers in Chios...

PITHETAERUS

The dwellers in Chios! Ah! I am delighted they should be thus
mentioned on all occasions.

PRIEST

...to the heroes, the birds, to the sons of heroes, to the
porphyrion, the pelican, the spoon-bill, the redbreast, the grouse, the
peacock, the horned-owl, the teal, the bittern, the heron, the stormy petrel,
the fig-pecker, the titmouse...

PITHETAERUS

Stop! stop! you drive me crazy with your endless list. Why,
wretch, to what sacred feast are you inviting the vultures and the sea-eagles?
Don't you see that a single kite could easily carry off the lot at once?
Begone, you and your fillets and all; I shall know how to complete the
sacrifice by myself.

The PRIEST departs.

It is imperative that I sing another sacred chant for the rite of the lustral
water, and that I invoke the immortals, or at least one of them, provided
always that you have some suitable food to offer him; from what I see here,
in the shape of gifts, there is naught whatever but horn and hair.

PITHETAERUS

Let us address our sacrifices and our prayers to the winged
gods.

A POET enters.

POET

Oh, Muse! celebrate happy Nephelococcygia in your hymns.

PITHETAERUS

What have we here? Where did you come from, tell me? Who are
you?

POET

I am he whose language is sweeter than honey, the zealous slave
of the Muses, as Homer has it.

PITHETAERUS

You a slave! and yet you wear your hair long?

POET

No, but the fact is all we poets are the assiduous slaves of
the Muses, according to Homer.

I have composed verses in honour of your Nephelococcygia, a
host of splendid dithyrambs and parthenia worthy of Simonides himself.

PITHETAERUS

And when did you compose them? How long since?

POET

Oh! 'tis long, aye, very long, that I have sung in honour of
this city.

PITHETAERUS

But I am only celebrating its foundation with this sacrifice;
I have only just named it, as is done with little babies.

POET

"Just as the chargers fly with the speed of the wind, so does
the voice of the Muses take its flight. Oh! thou noble founder of the town
of Aetna, thou, whose name recalls the holy sacrifices, make us such gift
as thy generous heart shall suggest."

He puts out his hand.

PITHETAERUS

He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some
present.

To the PRIEST'S acolyte

Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off and give it
to this clever poet. Come, take this fur; you look to me to be shivering
with cold.

POET

My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses
of Pindar's on your mind.

PITHETAERUS

Oh! what a pest! It's impossible then to get rid of him!

POET

"Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen
garment. He is sad at only wearing an animal's pelt and no tunic." Do you
get what I mean?

PITHETAERUS

I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you,

to the acolyte

take off yours; we must help the poet....Come, you, take it and get out.

POET

I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this
city: "Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, freezing city;
I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered plains. Tralala! Tralala!"

He departs.

PITHETAERUS

What are you chanting us about frosts? Thanks to the tunic,
you no longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed
fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city.

To a slave

Come, take the lustral water and circle the altar. Let all keep silence!

An ORACLE-MONGER enters.

ORACLE-MONGER

Let not the goat be sacrificed.

PITHETAERUS

Who are you?

ORACLE-MONGER

Who am I? An oracle-monger.

PITHETAERUS

Get out!

ORACLE-MONGER

Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle
of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia.

PITHETAERUS

Why did you not reveal it to me before I founded my city?

ORACLE-MONGER

The divine spirit was against it.

PITHETAERUS

Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but hear the terms of
the oracle.

ORACLE-MONGER

"But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together
between Corinth and Sicyon..."