Thursday, September 13, 2012

The twins, for whatever reason, are both running for student council this year. Elections are next week.

Last night they had to attend a mandatory "election rules" class. So, while Mrs. Grumpy picked up Frank from jail the bus stop, I took Craig and Marie to the meeting.

(There were some touchy issues. Craig's Hair, his running mate, had threatened to leave the ticket in a dispute over the newest member of his entourage, Craig's Cast, recently receiving more attention. The situation was defused by an agreement that Craig's Cast will be removed in 4 weeks. Craig's hair has now agreed to stay onboard for another 20 years, after which it will have the option of leaving at its own discretion and be replaced by Craig's Cheap Rug.)

Anyway, all kids were required to shake hands with the people they're running against, and then the following points were covered:

1. Keep it positive.

2. No negative statements. Give people a reason to vote for you, NOT a reason to vote against your opponent.

3. Don't make promises you know you can't keep.

4. Stick to the real issues (I have no idea what "real issues" there are in student council).

5. Be honest.

6. No screaming, blaming, or finger-pointing.

7. Be a good sport.

8. All campaign posters must be removed by the end of the day after the election.

I know I've touched on this before. And listening to the talk, I wonder: Why can't we do this on a national level? What the hell kind of world is it where grown-ups behave worse than kids? Aren't we supposed to be the ones setting a good example?

I still like my idea of a reality show called "Modern Sandbox:" Politicians who espouse screaming and yelling at the opposition will be dropped into a desert with an equal number of equally stubborn people from the other side, under circumstances where their mutual survival depends on finding ways to work together and be polite. Advertising revenue and T-shirt sales will go toward the national debt.

We can't do it on a national level because we adults supposedly know better than kids. But we adults are the ones who learn the prejudices and ego-building skills of winning at all costs. We're much too sophisticated and thinking to just allow the world to exist without our thumbprint on its jugular.

I could see your "Modern Sandbox" show quickly digressing into a "Lord of the Flies" situation, where the weakest one aka Piggy gets shoved into quicksand or dies in the most gruesome way....This should be televised!!!

Dr. Grumpy, did you mean "public school" when you crossed out the word "jail"? If so, hahahahaa! I've been referring to it as "prison without bars" for many year! Here's a blog entry where I touch on that nickname:

I once read an article to the effect that attack politics alienate the centrists and make them less likely to vote, while motivating the hardcore members and making them more likely to vote.

Therefore attack politics make sense: if you do it that way, you can tell which races are foregone conclusions and a waste of party money, and which might be winnable or losable depending on who manages to get more of their own party members furious at the possibility that the other guy might win.

Besides, as long as lousy our-party rule beats brilliant their-party rule (as the hardcore partisans are likely to think it does), the people are better off with pulling out all the stops to ensure a win by the narrowest of margins in an election where almost nobody votes, too.

What the hell kind of world is it where the grownups behave worse than the kids? If the researchers whose article I read are right, it's the kind of world where kids don't have access to professional strategists and pollsters.

I think all wars should be fought this way. The heads of state of the opposed countries could meet in a field, fight it out, and we would all watch on TV. A win win situation all round with minimal loss of life.

Welcome to my whining!

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