Everything You Need to Know Before Riverdale Returns Tonight

It’s that time of year again, when you’ve had your fill of awardsseason films and prestige television series, and when it comes time to settle down on your couch, nothing but the most popcorn-ready fare will do. And speaking of light, fluffy, operatic teen dramas we can’t help but tune in for, Riverdale returns to our lives tonight, after a five-week hiatus that we thought would never end. The trailer for “Chapter Twenty-Three: The Blackboard Jungle” promises plenty of drama in the not-so-sleepy town, including the reveal of Alice Cooper’s secret love child (paging Riverdale mega-fans: do we think FP is the father?), Archie in a footrace against Veronica’s dad, and Jughead’s return to Riverside High—along with the rest of the Southside Serpents. Fights are bound to happen and relationships will surely be tested . . . we can hardly wait.

No idea what we’re talking about? Here’s a quick refresher on all the happenings in Riverdale before you tuck in with the new episode. (Many, many spoilers abound.)

The identity of the Black Hood, the moralizing serial killer who’s been terrorizing the town in an attempt to cleanse it of “sinners and hypocrites,” is revealed to be Joseph Svenson, the creepy janitor with a tragic backstory—or is it? Archie notices that Joseph’s eyes are suspiciously not green, but everyone else seems to think that the case is solved and the town can resume normal life.

Jughead isn’t afraid to get violent—or downright sadistic. He slices Penny Peabody’s Serpent tattoo right off of her arm (red flag, Betty!) in order to get revenge against a fellow Serpent. He’s also back to picking fights with the football team, another sign that he hasn’t quite moved past this rebel-without-a-cause stage of angsty adolescence.

Betty’s got some issues, a few of which are revealed in cringe-worthy scenes like her quasi-audition for the Serpents via a sexy pole dance . . . in front of her mother, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend’s father. (She also freaked out the fans at home by trying on the Black Hood’s balaclava, leading many to ask: Is Betty the next Black Hood?)

Someone is spying on Veronica and Archie. As they kiss under the mistletoe on Archie’s front porch, a camera captures the moment from afar. Are they the only couple under watch, or is this the new normal après–Black Hood?

Archie and Betty are bonded after enduring a harrowing experience together (the Black Hood forced Betty to bury Archie alive). The two also shared a kiss before the ordeal, which Cheryl Blossom happened to witness. Can Archie and Veronica’s only recently cemented relationship status withstand the pressure?

Cheryl is crazy, but you already knew that. We’re interested to see where the next few episodes take her story, especially regarding her crush/obsession with Josie McCoy.