Trust me, I know what I'm doing

At the heart of a D/s relationship there are many characteristics required by those involved: integrity, honesty, openness, and trust. For me trust is a key criteria. If you are going to submit, then you need to trust your Dominant, and likewise, the Dom needs to trust that the submissive is able to submit as he requires. If it is done in a state of fear, loathing, and creates unhappiness, why do it? For a Dom to tie up, spank or gag their sub, they have to be confident it is what she truly desires. If not, there is no foundation for trusting each other.

Easily said. All relationships, vanilla or kinky, have rough times and if the communication falls apart, then they can be disastrous. When I wrote my Sublime Trust series, I wanted to show those rough patches, the flaws, the breakdowns and also the recoveries. When these fault lines occur, trust must be maintained or rebuilt, without it, then nothing else will flow. I might write fiction, describing a fantasy relationship of wealth and improbable plots, but I endeavour to keep the dynamics of the relationship real. So while there is plenty of sex and kinky games, in amongst them is the trust between Dom and sub. Man and wife. Him and her. (For the sake of argument, I write M/f but you can put any gender you like into the pot, the outcome is the same.)

When Gemma goes off and does something she shouldn’t, something potentially dangerous…..

***

He sagged into his chair. “Oh this makes a mockery of us, doesn’t it? What is the point of having a relationship where respect for me, for my desire to protect and foster you, is ignored by you. Time and time again, in recent months, you have let me down. Self-inflicted punishments, touching yourself sexually, now you forget a simple rule I instigated. One of the first I gave you.”

With fingers trembling, I daren’t look at him. All I felt was an overwhelming need to explain my failings. “You’ve been away all week,” I spouted. “I’ve hardly seen you. It is so damn hard sometimes. I’m not perfect. I will never be perfect for you. It gnaws away at me. That I can’t be what you want me to be. When we’re apart, my submission slips away like water through a sieve. I don’t see rules, your dominance, or even you. I plough through the day and become the independent brat you don’t want.”

Tears accompanied my verbal tirade, along with the wringing of my hands and hiccups of despair.

Jason hadn’t expected me to blurt out so much in one stream. By the time I finished, I was in a state of distress. “I’m so sorry,” I pounded my fist on my thigh, gritting my teeth. “I didn’t know somebody sat up here while I used the pool on my own. I didn’t appreciate how, behind the scenes, my life is constantly watched over. What happened to me today? Do you actually care? I went for a swim, and I nearly fucking drowned!”

My last word seemed to jump Jason into action. He pulled me up and onto his lap as I broke down. I clung to him as he held me. When I calmed, feeling the warmth of his rapid breath on my neck, he spoke.

“I don’t want or expect perfection. Why do you think I would care how perfect your submission is as long as you try? What I care about is trust. I need, we both need, to trust each other absolutely. So, when you are alone, I can be at peace. I try to be consistent with you, Gemma. I can’t let you break rules, battle my dominance. You know we feed each other. I admit, I’ve been busier than usual, but you can’t expect me to be there, checking in on you. I have to believe you carry out my wishes, even when I’m not present. It’s fundamental to us.”

I laid my head on his beating chest, contemplated his words, and shuddered with shame at my recent escapade. I hadn’t even said a proper thank you to Dave Johnson for running to my rescue.

Hi Jaye, great excerpt. I think they both have a point. Jason needs this knowledge that all is as it should be from Gemma’s side. Gemma needs to feel his dominance and since he was not there, this slipped away. Well, I think in a moment when Gemma was in danger, punishing her would maybe not be right, besides, I am glad that Jason has another way. 🙂 Thank you for the awesome scene.