Blog Archive

What I Learned At the SAHD Convention

So you didn’t get a chance to make it to the 15th annual SAHD convention? No problem. I got you covered.

This is what I leared at the 15th Annual SAHD Convention:

That to parent effectively, I have to keep the situaiton from escalating above my “emotional” line.

That if you open a bar tab, your friends will find out about it and put their drinks on it, too. Then they will call your wife and tell her about the great prank that they just pulled. I now have to sell my Xbox. Thanks guys.

That drunk dialing your buddy’s wives in vengence for the above prank at midnight doesn’t work out as well as you would think it would.

That having a “yuk” list is a good idea to empower your children during dinner time.

That 8 Crown Royal and Cokes vs. Fancy Beer is not a fair contest.

That using “product” is essential in combing a little girls hair if you want to keep her from running away from you in the future and calling child services on you.

That two grown men can go down a slide at the same time if one sits in the other’s lap.

That children want attention, sometimes even if it’s negative.

That you should never open a package that came from the front desk in front of a group of people you don’t know because it may contain a book called “Miss Vera’s Guide To Becoming A Transvestite” that your buddy’s thought would be funny as hell to send to you. Again, thank you fellas.

That there is somewhere between 158,000 and 3 million stay at home dads in the country. I’m glad we could go ahead and nail that one down.

That Omaha, Nebraska serves the best milkshakes. Ever.

That we shold be partners with our children’s teachers and not their adversairies.

That I can pluck a CD case out of the air after it’s been thrown at Mach 3 at my head and still have the presence of mind to come up with a witty one-liner. I am an action hero.

That everyone deserves a door prize.

That you should never argue with the driver of a minivan who has access to the window locks when there are 6 guys driving cross country after a night of heavy drinking. Trust me, the driver always wins the arguements.

That chicks dig the SAHD.

That talking about potty training with other Dads can still morph into a discussion about sports.

That my wife may get tired of the phrase “That’s not how Daddy does it.” after I’ve been gone for 2 days.

That the one guy that roots for Iowa State. will find you and brag about hanging 52 points on your beloved Red Raiders even if he has to mow over a bunch of orphans to do it.

That the loud knocking at 2 am does not signify an emergency but is an indication that your new-found friends closed down the bar.

That everyone wants to hang out with Liam so that they can go home and tell thier wife “Oh man, there was this one guy……..”

That drunk texting the one guy in your group that coluldn’t go is still very childish but still very awesome.

That I want to be an All Pro Dad.

That drink coupons is the dude way of saying “I love you.”

That the next SAHD convention is on October 8, 2011 in Washington D.C.

About Shannon Carpenter

Let me explain it this way: I have a college degree and had a job. I quit it on purpose to teach my two minions how to be minions. I'm not a bum, not addicted to crack and don't beat my wife. I seriously did this on purpose.

Hey all,
I learned that contrary to what Cameron’s wife says, he does not snore that badly.
I learned that for some reason, KC dads enjoy talking about spooning other AHDs?!!
I learned that Al is not that aware of his drinks and that beer braised pot roast does not add anything when introduced to beer.
I learned that AHDs need to identify themselves, get involved, and not be shy about identifying themselves as AHDs especially on government forms.
I learned how to do my daughter’s hair so she can see and is not constantly getting haor in her mouth.
I learned that many other dads have the similar relationship issues and that it’s great to be able to have some brothers who understand what we’re (individually and collectively) going through at home with kids and wives (and significant others).
I learned that I enjoy winning at the casino but don’t enjoy HEAVY second hand smoke (alright, I know both those things).
I learned all this and more and I learned I can’t wait for next years convention.
Cheers,
Ariel

I learned, that as the one who couldn’t go (and target of said drunk texts), it sucks not being there. Glad you guys had a great time and hopefully you and a lot more will make it to DC next year to catch up with me!

I learned that Liam doesn’t like restaurants that don’t serve alcohol, or won’t push tables together or allow Richard Dreyfus in.

I learned that I have no sense of direction and that no one should ever follow me. Anywhere.

I learned that just because you’re homeless it doesn’t mean you’re not willing to pick up a paint brush and work for free or that you just might have the most amazing singing voice anyone has ever heard.

I learned that I can say no once and apparently my kids will believe me.

I learned that those water bottles filled with yellow and purple liquid aren’t crystal light but actually oil and vinegar for our sandwiches for lunch.

I learned that starting an at-home dad group is hard but will get going if you have patience and determination.

I learned that sometimes when you ask for volunteers you will get some. Or alot!

I learned to never play pool against Bob and Bill. Apparently the ideal pool shark is short, stocky and has a name that begins with the letter ‘B’.

And finally, I learned that a group of at-home dads from all over the country can work together to create a professional and educatioal convention that is also a whole heck of a lot of fun!

I learned that being an At-Home Dad does not mean you can’t still have an intellectual conversation, even if you have watched Barney for years.

That despite being hundreds of miles away or more, there is some other At-Home Dad that is having the exact same issues/problems/lifestyle you have, almost identical, and that you can talk with that person openly about it.

That Delta Airlines in not my preferred choice of travel.

That there are some At-home Dads who will remain nameless, that try and hide your suitcase on you just before getting ready to leave!

That Omaha’s Barry O’s make an excellent long island ice tea.

Most of all I learned that my wife can’t do it without me doing what I’m doing and me her to give our kids the best.

Hossman, I am so glad we had the expert from the 90’s narrow it down a little on the line item “That there is somewhere between 158,000 and 3 million stay at home dads in the country”.
Really?
Dude, pick a number, any number, drill it down a little, even if your wrong to give us an impression that you studied up for your talk! Who’s gonna know?
Besides us that is, we do this for a living and need a little more substance than the vast a guess that was bordering on insulting our intelligence, we are smarter than your average bear! Good thing there was no “Like” button.