Monday, April 25, 2005

The A-Team.

I am the oldest of three and the only girl. My mom brought us up to believe that we are a team; four parts that make a whole.

I have always been okay with that.

Because we are all so close in age, it has always been easy for us to relate to each other, even if at times we lose sight (and interest) of what’s important to the others. We grew up very differently. I have always been the dreamer, Ivan has been the goal oriented overachiever and Gus has been above all things the baby. The one we were all supposed to watch over even though more often than not, he has been the adult when there were no volunteers.

I’ve never looked at Gus and really seen him as an adult. Although watching Ivan grow into a man has been easy because we grew up together and for most of our lives we were partners in crime, with Gus it's been different. With him it's difficult. Gus was the one I would get into fist fights with as children. He was the one who spent from age 11 to age 18 in a bad mood.

Gus and I didn’t become friends until college and it wasn’t until I became officially an adult (ie- job, house and bills) that I realized that all along Gus and I were the two who were most similar of the three. Sure, Ivan and I are physically very much alike, but Gus and I have the same spirit.

We always had big dreams for Gus. We always dreamt that Gus would become a surgeon (that was until he nearly fainted while I was getting stitches on my hand), or an engineer, or something along those lines. But since childhood he was a gifted businessman.

He went on to college to major in International Business Management and Finance.

In a little over two weeks, Gussie will be graduating and I have begun to feel just a little bit old. I remember him going to school when he was still in Kindergarten, when he was in First grade and I had to tell my teacher that I had to go to the bathroom so I could make sure he’d eat his lunch (our nanny made the WORSE lunches ever!), I remember his first day of High School, and I remember driving to college with him on his first day so he wouldn’t be alone during orientation.

Now he is graduating, and though I never thought he wouldn’t, I didn’t think this day would ever come. For me, this represents the end of an era. And I am so proud of him! In some levels I feel like I am partly responsible for the person he is today. I am sure Ivan feels that way too.

Today I am going to go pick up his graduation gift. Though I can’t tell you what it is just yet, I hope that whenever he looks at it he remembers that he is a great man with a bright future and that regardless of whether or not he has grown up, he is still the baby in our little team of three.

Dan's right ~ in a sense. I'm the youngest of four girls and it's hell trying to get them to view me as an adult woman (even though I'm nearly 50 and have an 18 year old daughter!). It's great that you have achieved that with your brother. Adulthood should put siblings on the same plane but so often that never happens and it can be quite trying to the youngest of the family. Excellent post and best of luck to your brother!

It was really great to read this post because I am the baby in the family and I have always wondered what it would be like to feel that sense of pride mixed with the difficulty of letting go of the child in your sibling.very touching. very.