Saturday, May 12, 2012

I still haven’t heard from Shiri and I am beginning to have the jeepers and creepers. What the hell could be possibly wrong?

Anything could have happened to her. Anything!

Her phone has been off, and whenever I call her office I’m told she ain’t there. Well, I don’t doubt her even for a minute, but this disappearing act of hers has left me no choice.

Could she be playing me? What do I care? After all that’s what I am – a player. I juggle them, women, like a juggler. And I break their fragile hearts big time because I never want my secret life to come out. Only Sister Batel, and the two choir girls I have had the pleasure of sweet-talking out of their knickers, know about me (that I am priest).

What if I leave the Catholic Church? I would be a welcome lost sheep in the Reformed Catholic Church, or Bishop Emmanuel Milingo’s Unification Church. I won’t be the first, and definitely not the last. Why live my whole life a lie, putting on priestly garb with the tag of chastity when what I actually am is a ugly, sinful and immoral motherfucker?

Oh, and this reminds me. Reforms are not in the Kenya Police only. The church also has them. It’s a debate that has been going on for long.

A right wing section the clergy has been campaigning for this since the first Pope was interred. They want married priests in the RC, the Church to soften its stand on contraceptives and family planning, abortion, homosexuals, and women priests/popes (the future of the church); the idea of a more political Church and the Church to have its own security forces (not just the Swiss Guard). This has led to emergence of splinter groups in the church.

That’s when SMORC has come in handy. Those opposed to the reforms are eliminated.

SMORC is affilitated to no particular group, though it is a creation of the Catholic Church.

However, over the years, Jesuits have been the closest to SMORC. Jesuits have their own inclinations and ideals; want a church that is militarily enforced (Top Secret), change and liberalism (for over 450 years they have fought for new and unexpected ways to serve – and ready to do anything – to advance their mission in the Church that’s been discovered to have originated from the pagan mystery religion of ancient Babylon); are seekers and disseminators of knowledge, and above all they have a much darker history that many people do not know about.

Many deaths have occurred – mysterious deaths, murders and accidents (and I ain’t saying SMORC claims responsibility; don’t quote me!) – none of them has ever been solved. I doubt whether they would ever be. Even the American super detectives or CIA, FBI, MI6 or any other much famed investigation agencies has ever come close to the truth.

Conjecture and speculation has been the notes of most investigators, and when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel (even for an oncoming train) they close the cases. They point fingers at the Jesuits, or the inner circle (the conclave) claiming politics and thirst for power.

The victims, or the casualties, never suspect a thing. Even the holy spirit of discernment shows them nothing.
They dine with us, the killers, never suspect a thing. They are our confessors, and we are theirs. We know them inside out, but they know what we want them to know. We are Vicars of Christ together, men and women of the cloth, mouths of God to His people, until they get to know us when it’s too late. Actually, they stare into our eyes as they breath their last, realization plastered all over, but go to grave with the TRUTH.
That’s how I ended up being charged with the murder of Bishop Luigi Locati. It’s not that I made any mistake, nay. We make no mistakes.

Some smart ass guy somewhere, a detective with I-want-to-right-the-world attitude, and probably who has read so much detective fiction, tried to connect the dots, came up with fictitious facts (probably borrowed from Robert Ludlum, Jeffrey Archer or James Patterson) and Un-Circumstantial evidence and suspected me.

But that’s the far they get. The next hearing of my case would be in July. I already know how this case would go – I would be acquitted due to lack of evidence to convict.

Nonetheless, I think I should stop this before it’s too late, when I still have life left for me to start all over again.

I ought to stop being used.

My excommunication should have been latae sententiae (automatic), run in to the arms Shiri, like Bishop Milingo who ran into the arms of Maria Sung.

I will join the Reformed Catholic Church (I can’t start my own church) and Fr. Shiundu wed Shiri and I and live happily thereafter.