I am starting to not drink as of today for at least one month, assuming I can make it two weeks… i had a problem awhile back, I almost got a DUI. I am not sure if I have an actual problem but I figured I better be safe than sorry. I know I spend too much money and sometimes drink in order not to feel bad for myself, I flirt (and other things) with too many people, some of wo i know have significant others. I dont like the looks I get when I get drunk, but i enjoy the feeling of not being in control because i always have to be. However, i dont like the person others see in me. I gained way too much weight while drinking and i just want to minimize it. I want to be in control of what I am doing and not crave another drink or drive in circles around my local bar wondering if I should go in.

I understand where you’re coming from. I feel like I always have to be in control to take care of other people so I used drinking as my relaxation and way to forget about control. Unfortunately then alcohol had the control. Now when I need to relax I try to meditate or whatever I need. I spend time alone and take care of myself (which often means disconnecting from tech for a few hours. Sometimes a day or two.

I started over today also. Just trying to make it thru the next 12-24 hrs. I went to 2 meetings last night but still drank even after talking with sponsor…I’ve been on this sobriety/relapse journey since Oct 2017. I just feel numb whether I drink, use or am sober right now.

@Cyb3rk8, welcome. Hate to point out the obvious but you said you hope to make it two weeks, want the cravings to stop, drive around the bar. Sounds like you may have a problem with alcohol. If you think You have a problem You probably do. But You came to the right place! Ask for help, ask questions and remember you only have to stay sober for today.

@Cyb3rk8, welcome. Hate to point out the obvious but you said you hope to make it two weeks, want the cravings to stop, drive around the bar. Sounds like you may have a problem with alcohol. If you think You have a problem You probably do. But You did the right thing by reaching out! Remember to ask for help before you drink, ask questions and remember you only have to stay sober for today.

No one joins an app based on sobriety because they have something under control or just need to “minimize” it.

You say you like the way it makes you feel, like you’re not in control. Have I got news for you, control is an illusion based on expectations and perceptions. You can’t even control your cravings, doubt you have too much control over everything else. Placing expectations on anything is setting ones self up for failure.

I don’t say this from spite, or to be mean. I say this from experience. With all sincerity, good luck on your 30 day experiment.