What To Tell The Judge When You Inevitabley Get In Hot Water For Hiring Prostitutes To Service Your Employees

At some time in the future, near or distant, at least a few of you are going to have to explain why you brought in a bunch of prostitutes for your colleagues and/or clients. Given. The circumstances will vary, as will the types of girls hired (Peter likes brunettes, Jim wants someone who will call him Judy, the guys on the commodities desk like to attend rodeos) but it's likely that you'll all have to provide a rationale for the impetus behind this particular perk of the job, and why, in the eyes of the law, it should be seen as no big deal. And when that happens, I think you should all consider taking a page from David Brooks' playa-book.

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DHB, which specialized in making body armor used by the military in Iraq and Afghanistan, paid for more than $6 million in personal expenses on behalf of Mr. Brooks, covering items as expensive as luxury cars and as prosaic as party invitations, Ms. Schlegel testified. Also included were university textbooks for his daughter, pornographic videos for his son, plastic surgery for his wife, a burial plot for his mother, prostitutes for his employees, and, for him, a $100,000 American-flag belt buckle encrusted with rubies, sapphires and diamonds. [Brooks'] also defended the hiring of prostitutes for employees and board members, arguing in court papers that it represented a legitimate business expense “if Mr. Brooks thought such services could motivate his employees and make them more productive.”

Breathe easy, friends of Bob Diamond and the guy who wrote "Anything for you, Big Boy," as a response to the request, "Can you manipulate Libor for me today when you've got a sec? Thanks a mill." In this case we speak of Rachael Claire Martin, the ex-Barlcays employee who used customer funds to pay for breast augmentations, dental work, liposuction, drugs, alcohol, shoes, and jewelry, despite initially telling authorities she covered the tricks and treats with money she earned engaging in sex for payment (an excuse anyone facing questioning for their own alleged misconduct should feel free to use. Just because one judge didn't buy it doesn't mean another won't). Mother-of-one and law graduate Rachael Martin, 24, ‘spent money like water' after getting a job with Barclays in Liskeard, Cornwall, where she was responsible for dealing with cheques. The stolen cash paid for a breast enlargement, thought to be worth £4,000, dental work worth £1,700, and liposuction, as well as nights out, drink and drugs. She has now been jailed after stealing £46,000 in just two months from her employers. Extravagances included £1,687.95 at the Windsor Place dental surgery in Liskeard, and £500 on unspecified cosmetic surgery at Harley Medical, the court heard. Martin also lavished £670 at exclusive jewellers Tiffany, and £506 on a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes. When she was arrested, Martin, from St Austell in Cornwall, told police she earned money as an escort in Bristol, adding that she was ‘a common prostitute’. But the claim was a cover for her criminal behaviour, said prosecutor Iain Leadbetter. Recorder Jeremy Wright jailed Martin, who has an eight-year-old son, for 52 weeks, telling her she had demonstrated a ‘concerted, clever and serious breach of trust'. Bank worker, 24, who stole £46,000 to fund boob job and party lifestyle told police she earned the money working as an escort [DM]