A US soldier discovered his missus had been playing away at home after spotting a suspicious "Mii" on his Nintendo Wii, the Evening Standard reports.
The man, known only as Tony, returned from a year in Iraq to reports from chums that his wife had been cheating on him. He'd had the Wii for company while on service in Iraq, but …

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Pattycake?

GB Shaw and a' that...

Nick, while I agree that his friends reckonned she was "cheating", unless they had better evidence than the mere presence of the pro Bowler at the house, it is still only hearsay.

So it would seem that the suspicions of one's friends, evidence that the bloke was visiting to play Wii bowling and an admission of a kiss constitute irrefutable proof of sexual activity and infidelity.

Sorry, but BOLLOCKS!

I recently was out of town for a week and I know for a fact that people visited my wife while I was away, that does not mean she was having sex with them.

Strangely enough, men and women can hang out and not have sex. The bowler's presence in the house is not evidence of cheating, the Mii profile suggests they spent a lot of time just hanging out and playing Wii games - pretty hard to fuck and play Wii bowling at the same time so where is the evidence that anything untoward happened while they were not playing?

Mike Moyle quoted GB Shaw: "(A pessimist is) A man who thinks everyone as nasty as himself and hates them for it.”

I would suggest that that quote could well apply to "Tony" - he suspects his wife was being unfaithful because that's the sort of nasty thing he would do himself (and possibly did do).

Tony probably spent the last year bonking his way around Iraq, if not with the local prostitutes then with the female US military personnel (after all, the only reason they sent women "military" personnel over there was to fuck the male personnel and torture/humiliate POWs then get caught on camera doing it.) Now Tony's home, he naturally suspects his wife was as unfaithful as he has been and assumes that the mere presence of a man in is house is evidence of infidelity - despite her protestations of innocence.

I don't know if his wife was being unfaithful or not or if there is anything more than circumstantial evidence that was not reported in the article, but the suspicions of friends, evidence of playing bowling and the admission of a single kiss do not warrant evidence for infidelity.

Unless there's damning evidence not mentioned or an actual confession by the wife or the bowler we're not aware of, Tony's actions are nasty, suspicious and childish (whether or not his wife was actually cheating). Where's his trust and respect for his wife? I gather she did not deny spending time with the bloke (she admitted to a kiss) so where's the justification for believing she's lying about "just a kiss" or covering something up?

"bloke's been at your house, must be fucking your missus" - well according to the Mii there was a lot of innocent keeping-someone-company-so-they-don't-go-mad activity. According to the wife, there was no sexual activity.

You've got to be a retard to think that proof of playing an innocent game is proof of infidelity - a retard with a nasty nature who thinks everyone else is just as nasty.

The wife may well have been fucking the bowler between Wii games, I have no idea, but the Wii games and his presence in the house do not constitute *proof* of it. You'd need better than that to convince a jury "beyond reasonable doubt".

Cheating

"Cheating" is a standard and predictable part of human sexuality. It is inherently dumb to have all your offspring to just the one partner. Men like to spread their seed around and women, well, like to collect it. In general - if your wife has three kids, one of 'em ain't yours.

Seconded @Jon Tocker

Word. I for one would not be in a relationship with someone who assumed because you were playing *video games* with someone else while they were away, that you must be having an affair. If you're that paranoid about friendships, time to get the tinfoil hat. If you do learn that someone is actually cheating, fine, go off the deep end.

Frankly, if I wanted to assme the risk of an affair and lie to my partner, I'd spend my time shagging rather than playing "Wii Bowling" (or maybe I'm out of touch with the quaint mating rituals in the suburban US).

As for those saying that the bloke was skanky for pursuing the lonely lady, it takes two to tango. And, if cheating did occur, did he even know she was married?

Sick

Just how sick people become? Cheating is cheating, of 'cos the guy knew she was married. And the wife? They both deserve to be punished. The husband clearly shows he is a nice guy, otherwise I'm expect he shoot both of them, and they deserve it.

Flawed thinking

Not because she should not be considered innocent, but because the whole reasonning about it is flawed.

You take the partial information of the article, see that it contains enough to say that she probably did cheat, and then fail to consider what "probably" means.

Your thinking must go like "ok, she spent lots of evenings/nights with the guy, kissed him, the friends said she was cheating, and her husband was away one year. So she probably did cheat, but that's not proof, so the guy should not react like this".

That's pretty stupid.

"probably" does not, as opposedo that reasonning, apply to the real world, but to the lack of information WE have.

This means that probably "she did cheat and the guy has all of the information to prove it, only WE don't have it".

The direct consequence is that it is quite stupid to say "it's just a probability, so the guy should not react that way". It's a probability for us who don't have the information, not for him who does have much more than we do.

The real reasonning should go:

- It's quite likely, the way the news is breaking, that the guy has absolute and irrefutable proof of cheating, and WE're missing the "absolute and irrefutable" part.

- Among the 10 or so % chance he doesn't, there's a 9 in 10 (replace with whatever ratio you want) that she is indeed cheating but HE doesn't have proof.

- Then there's the odd few chances that not only do WE not have the info, does HE not have the info, but also the wife was not cheating. Hard chance of that, but that's not the point.

So in the end, because it is likely we are just missing the info, we should just assume the most likely thing, that is that the guy has irrefutable proof and we don't.

(note: not completely irrefutable but still a good point that is almost implied in the story - but there could be more - would be weird timings: what if the guy sometimes starts playing at 4am? at 7am meaning he spent the night there? at times during the day where the wife is at work, meaning he's at home even when she's not, implying he partly lives there?)

Scary.. all I could think was:

And people wonder why the divorce rate is on the increase?

@Paul Murray - 'Inherently dumb' - Could you explain this amazing insight into marriage and fidelity in more detail please?

@Jon Tocker - '...and the admission of a single kiss do not warrant evidence for infidelity.' - So it's perfectly ok for your partner to kiss other guys? And please don't come back with 'it could have been just a peck' - as it plainly wasn't. A kiss other than a friendly peck is ground for complaining at the very least.

@Mary - Assuming of course you told him that you had a male friend over first - I think if you found out that he had a female friend over without your knowledge, you wouldn't be as forgiving as you claim to be.

@Vladimir Plouzhnikov - Discover the meaning of the word 'love; - in reference to marriage. Then check and see if your wife actually feels that way for you.

marriage...

... is overrated. i personnaly think man is not meant to live a monogamous life. if it was in our nature to be so, no one would be cheating on any one else and marriage wouldn't be necessary. we would always be with the same person.

personally i think cheating's only considered wrong because our supposedly moral ethical society makes it so, and i will boldly proclaim that religion is the cause of all our jealous sufferings.

and no, those mormons and muslims are not in their right either. if the bloke can have all them wives, i certainly can't see why i can't have loads of blokes too... curse the man who decided monogamy was the fad.

@Scott

"Discover the meaning of the word 'love; - in reference to marriage. Then check and see if your wife actually feels that way for you."

Thanks for the excellent suggestion. I've checked - she does.

Not so sure Tony did, though... :-)

@Mary "I think if my husband started kicking off and accusing me of slutting around and demanding a divorce, purely on the basis of finding proof that I'd played video games with a male friend a few evenings during the year he was away... I would consider myself better off without him."

Interestingly, that was precisely my wife's first reaction after she read this thread yesterday. Her second reaction was even less flattering to Tony and few other contributors here, so I won't quote her.

@Morely Dotes

Gaming gods help us!

The comments on this post have sapped just about the last of the faith I had in humanity. Comments like "Cheating is a standard and predictable part of human sexuality" and "To be fair he's got off lightly" really wear at your soul. Where the munificence of Love?

A lot of these comments are...

who said...

... love only equals shagging? i dont believe you should confuse the 2... love goes much beyond sexuality... you don't shag your parents and yet ideally you love them both equally. so, i think that if tony really loved his wife, and she really loved him, they would find it in their hearts to forgive and stay together. war aint fun, but you deal with it as best you can...

@Mark

To add absolutely nothing to this debate:

I think if you love someone enought to marry them you should not cheat. But also If you love someone enough to marry them you should forgive them if they cheat on you. I also think that how one cheats is important and it has to be sort of case by case. It is possible to have a meaningless extra marital shag and a couple could probably work through that buit it is also possible for two people (one married) to fall in love without shagging and then there would be trouble. For the record I am unmarried. Also, I don't think snogging counts at all (Unless I have missinterpreted the term) I have snogged girls who are just friends and even ones who are married, usualy drunkanly but it means nothing to either of us.