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I've always known I was poly but didn't think there were many others like me out there. I followed on with societal norms and got into a mono marriage. Had a couple great kids. And now find myself in the place where I want more love. I went through a period of separation from my husband but ended up going back in the end. He is really not open to a poly relationship at this point. I'm venturing out to see if what I invision as my happy place is even possible. I am bi amorous and hope to find a MMF relationship at some point. Cheers

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__________________Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"

Hmmmm, MMF? Does your husband object to poly or to the structure? Do you need the men to get along? Sometimes that's difficult. What if you suggest you and he just both date others. ... which would likely create two vees... with you as one point with the two guys on both sides and him as a point with the women on each side. Or he may simply not be interested in sustaining another relationship. Is it possible he feels pressured by you to date? Just trying to see his objections. ...

Hmmmm, MMF? Does your husband object to poly or to the structure? Do you need the men to get along? Sometimes that's difficult. What if you suggest you and he just both date others. ... which would likely create two vees... with you as one point with the two guys on both sides and him as a point with the women on each side. Or he may simply not be interested in sustaining another relationship. Is it possible he feels preded by you to date? Just trying to see his objections. ...

He is mono with no interest in a poly relationship what so ever. Which makes me sad of course. We have grown apart over the last few years as I feel alienated for even suggesting it. I own my feelings though as I surpressed my nature and thought I could be happy in a mono relationship. Its my own fault for settling. It's a new year though and time to start loving myself enough to make positive changes. By my stating I was lonely, what I had meant was that i dont have any poly friends locally to talk to and it's a lonely path to navigate when you are with a mono partner who doesnt understand in the least. Being a part of an online community should help a bit with that and maybe give me hope that my fantasies could be a reality some day. Cheers!

Hmmmm, MMF? Does your husband object to poly or to the structure? Do you need the men to get along? Sometimes that's difficult. What if you suggest you and he just both date others. ... which would likely create two vees... with you as one point with the two guys on both sides and him as a point with the women on each side. Or he may simply not be interested in sustaining another relationship. Is it possible he feels pressured by you to date? Just trying to see his objections. ...

I would like to live with all of my partners so I'd imagine getting along would be important

If he has no interest in seeking additional relationships, he's likely worried that he'll feel neglected. Is there any way you can assure him he'll lose little to no time and support from you? Depending on your relationship, this may be possible. If this doesn't warm him up to poly, I'd guess his objections were due to an inability to understand what poly means, or insecurity. Not much I know to help you if it's the latter.

If he has no interest in seeking additional relationships, he's likely worried that he'll feel neglected. Is there any way you can assure him he'll lose little to no time and support from you? Depending on your relationship, this may be possible. If this doesn't warm him up to poly, I'd guess his objections were due to an inability to understand what poly means, or insecurity. Not much I know to help you if it's the latter.

Yes... thus has been my dilemma. He does not want to understand and feels my thoughts are " poisoning the family waters " to directly quote him. And despite any studies I have brought fourth he feels it will be detrimental to our children. He is also insecure as I am the sole breadwinner. I have argued it till blue in the face.

He's probably digging his heels in, because he felt life was going one way, and discovered reality was something different. Since you have children together, and you're the breadwinner, he might feel especially threatened by the possibility of 'losing everything'.

He needs to be reminded of two things:
1-that you feel how you feel, and that can't be changed, regardless of how your discussions as a couple go, so he needs to accept that
2-That it's not a reflection of how you feel about him. Try to remind him how you *do* feel about him, what you love about him, and how, no matter what else might happen, that will not change.

Hopefully, in time, he will come to see that very little has to change if he's able to come to terms with it.