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Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder. In particular, anorexia nervosa has a higher mortality rate than any other cause of death among females between the ages of 15 and 24, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

I really need help and I’m terrified to ask any close friends or family. Just as a backstory, I’m male, in my early 20’s, living and working in a major city, and by all means living a “good” life. I went from overweight to being a healthy weight in the couple of years. I did most (if not all) of this through a disciplined diet, weight lifting and training, and cardio. I continue to work out and live a physically fit life, so all is well, right? Completely wrong.

Almost every night I go out and buy misc. sweets (cookies, cakes) and binge “eat”, well, chew and spit. I do this for a few hours every night until I become tired and then fall asleep. I live my life as if nothing is wrong and carry on as normal. None of my friends or family would know the difference, but if one of my roommates were to walk in on my room right now they’d wonder what the hell is going on.

I’ve experimented with binging and purging and it freaks me out after the fact, but it’s something that I’ve tried and enjoy the feeling of freedom. I really don’t want to live like this and I don’t know what to do.

I feel like my life is being overtaken by this mindset and I need it to stop. Please help.

Honestly, it is really hard to beat an eating disorder by yourself. I (20,f) have been on and off for nearly a decade. The times I am able to avoid it are when I have told a significant other and they kinda help me through it. Over the summer I even had my boyfriend shower with me a lot so that I wouldn't purge. But I can definitely still see myself potentially returning to it.

You should start by talking to someone close to you if you have someone you trust. If I were you, I would immediately seek counseling after disclosing to someone close. That way you can have some support through counseling. Counseling works best when you want to stop and recognize you don't want to live that way, so the best time is now.

One thing about the body is it really, really wants balance. To make a long story short, if you have some time carefully consider this post on Hunger Hormones. It explains how hormones drive hunger, even after dieting has stopped.

I think you are correct in fearing that this mindset will take over your life. For some people it really does. The best thing is that we can change our minds. It's not easy, but it is possible. You could do this with therapy. You could also do this by learning more about EDs of all types by reading articles on the Internet as well as some of the books listed in the book list. Cognitive restructuring is called that because it restructures how we think, which sounds like what you are after.

For me, journaling works well for recognizing unwanted thought patterns. Once recognized, accept that this is part of how your mind works. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, just like listening to a child have a tantrum does not mean it gets what it wants. Just accept. Then, consider writing how you want to rewire the circuitry of the mind.

There are books out there on rewiring the circuitry of the mind. There are websites, too. Therapists can help with this as well. You are not alone and change is possible. You can do it.

I can empathize. I could've written the first paragraph, change the gender.

I would definitely recommend you consider seeing a therapist. It's nice to have someone to talk to who won't judge you and who actually has an idea of how to help you. (I don't want to hear that you can't afford it. This is your life we're talking about here. Google sliding-scale therapists in your area, call your health insurance provider, or look at the health centers of colleges nearby.) I would also recommend that you confide in a close friend or family member about what's going on. They may not understand or even be a bit angry at first, but they will most likely be concerned and want to help you. It's nice to have someone to be accountable to.

I'm sure you all can understand when I say it's "easier said than done" as far as confiding in anyone is concerned. I am terrified of the reaction I'd get if I shared this information with anyone, even my closest friends and family. I definitely appreciate the feedback and support; it just seems the options are so daunting.

It's important to remember that other things can replace the need for oral stimulation. Quite often, you'll psych yourself out and just go for the old habit that has soothed you in the past.

Make sure you've had a nutritious, filling meal and that you're hydrated. Maybe make yourself a cup of herbal tea. Then, get fully immersed in something you love doing- whether it be work, a video game, a book, etc. Once you get your mind off of the sugary fixation, hours will go by without the impulse.

What helped me the best was looking into the scientific reason I was suffering from the eating disorder. You might also benefit from introspection- looking into the reasons why you developed the food fixation. It can be difficult to pinpoint without aid, so I agree that you should look into counseling. CBT is an excellent place to start.

Thanks a lot for the suggestions as well as the kind words and support. I'm taking up some of this advice (e.g. occupying my time with other things, examining what causes me to do this, etc.).

I'll probably seek help of some sort of counseling (I'd prefer a group) before turning to a close friend. I don't think I have it in me to be that frank with a close friend. I know that sounds weak, but it's me being totally honest.

Do not go down the road of binging and purging if you haven't already. My sister has been bulemic for over 10 years and it is ruining her life in so many ways.

I can at least tell you my experience as an outsider. From knowing her and other girls along with going to group therapy, I often notice there is a system of blame. People claim they are self accountable for their actions (as therapy teaches them), but they are just words, and these people blame others for this and that. They never seeem to want to get better but rather want to stay in this system where they are treated with kid gloves or treated like a victim.

You need to genuinely want to NOT have an eating disorder in order to rid of it.

I'm not sure what triggers this in you, because I've never talked to a guy about this. Is it because you're self conscious? Unhappy with yourself? Or do you just do it? It seems to me like you've accomplished a huge feat with just diet and exercise, which is more than a lot of people can say. I'd tell you how much harm bulimia does, but I'm sure you already know. I'd tell you how being healthy helps more than anything, but you've already experienced that. I can just tell you to be strong, and remember how much weight you've lost already from being healthy.

I've been through everything you're describing. Try to analyze the impact it has on your finances. Try to be less perfectionist. It can't be all-or-nothing. We have cravings. Maybe smell the food instead? Will that be good enough? It is not worth the exhaustion, so I suggest finding distractions straight away! As for the ED itself... well, please seek help from a friend. Like an ED buddy who can help talk to you when you get urges. Or seek professional help if you can. Vomiting is a whole lot more tiring than chewing and spitting, and more guilty too. Drink LOTS of water instead.

Be proud that you have taken steps to try to change. You know you don't want to live like this. Can you try to be proud of how you look?