Author's infos

Introduction:

Power Play

6 hours after she’d come home and embarked on her joint sexual relationship with her mom and sister, Melissa was standing in the shower, calmly washing the dried cum and milk off her body. Janice and Kayla were both still asleep, but Melissa had gently moved them onto the couch when she’d woken up, before she’d cleaned up the cum and milk stains on the tile they’d made love on. She mulled over the events of the day in her head, and absently wondered if her mom or Kayla could “power up” like she could, or if it was some kind of freak genetic fluke. She shut the shower off and stepped out, reaching for a towel before she yelped in surprise. She wasn’t alone.

There was a boy standing in the bathroom with her. He was kinda’ cute, kinda’ handsome, with dark, serious eyes, a mouth that seemed frozen in a humorless line, and tousled brown hair. He wasn’t fantastically fit, nor was he terribly overweight, he was entirely average from all appearances, until she looked at his eyes. His eyes, and the way he carried himself, even just standing there in the steam, exuded quiet, implacable confidence, and something else, something dangerous, like he might snap at any given moment without warning. She shivered involuntarily before reflexively wrapping her arms around her breasts and pussy for the sake of modest and snapped, “Who the fuck are you?! How did you get in here?!” She paused and blinked, “Were you watching me SHOWER?!!”

The boy stared at her in grim silence, as emotionless as a stone. “I am who I am, and I am what I am, nothing more, and nothing less. I do what I will when I will do it and I as please to do it.” Melissa stared at him in confusion, “What the fuck did you just say?” The boy rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of exaggerated patience, “Does it matter?” Melissa’s eyes bugged, “Hell yes it matters! Were you watching me shower?” The boy stared at her with the same flat gaze and stated expressionlessly, “Yes.” Melissa ground her teeth together and whipped her hand up, unleashing a vicious burst of her power at the boy….

…..and watched in shock as he simply raised his hand, caught her blast, and it sparked against his skin before vanishing as if he’d absorbed it. He sighed and lowered his hand, “Did you think you were the only one?” Her mouth dropped open in surprise, but she couldn’t form words. Who was he? How had he done that? What was he doing here…..what would he do to HER?” Almost as if he’d read her mind, the boy cocked his head to the side and regarded her with the first expression she’d seen on him other than boredom; curiosity. “Did you think you could keep living like this without anybody noticing? Well they’ve noticed.” Melissa narrowed her eyes and hissed, “Who….is….”they”?” The boy shrugged absently, entirely relaxed, “The others.”, “What others?”, “The others who are….like us, but hungrier.” Melissa frowned in irritation, “What do you mean, hungrier?”

The boy stared at her in surprise “You haven’t figured it out?” Without explanation, he raised a hand and pushed it to Melissa’s forehead. Her eyes bugged out and her knees buckled as one of the hardest orgasms she’d ever had exploded from her. She felt herself squirt hard, but she barely noticed. The orgasm forced itself from her, feeling like fireworks exploding in the most sensitive parts of her body! She gagged, then doubled over, coughing. After the coughs passed, she tried to raise her head, but paused. Her hands were glowing violently. She flexed her fingers experimentally and groaned as power flooded her body, more power than she’d ever felt before. She felt the familiar rush of her body trying to change to contain the power, but shut it down before she could start changing. She looked up at the boy in confusion, “H-how did you do that….”

He shrugged, and she noticed he was starting to become transparent, like he was fading into the fog, “We can transfer powers by touch to others like us. We can also take them away. The others like us feed on the powers, and life-forces, of other powered. It kills us.” Melissa felt a chill go through her, “And they’re coming for me?” He shook his head, “No, for us. They’ve been after me for years.” She licked her lips, trying to stop herself from shaking with power overload. “Who are you?” He shrugged easily and yawned, “I am who I am. That’s all you need to know. Be ready, they’ll be here soon.” She raised her hand, “Wait!” However, he had already vanished, leaving her on her hands and knees, trying desperately to contain the incredible power filling her body. What had he meant? They’d be here soon? The people who wanted her power? Who wanted to kill her? Why? What had she done to them?

She stood and shook her head, running her hands through her hair. She caught her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was glowing vibrantly, like she was containing her own sun. Her eyes flashed brightly, and her muscles were all tense and taught. Her pussy looked sore and abused from her tantric orgasm only a few minutes before. She sighed and shut her eyes, materializing body armor for herself with barely any effort. The drain on her power was almost non-existent. When she opened her eyes, she was clad in an armored corset and armored panties to match, with thigh-high armored boots on her feet and snug gauntlets on her hands. She smirked faintly in amusement. She looked like some kind of cross between a Victoria’s Secret model and an armored knight. Oh well, at least if she was going to die, she’d die dressed like some kind of warrior goddess! She turned and left the room, passing her hand over the power outlet without even thinking about it, and sucking the electricity out of the bathroom as she left, leaving the room dark.

It may have been a good idea to blend this and another chapter together. The idea is to make a longer story and allow the reader to get more immersed in the wonderful tale and world you are creating.

I one read someplace that long paragraphs containing conversation are harder to read as there is eye strain involved with a computer. Try separating them... it makes it easier for your reader. Some give up if they feel an irritation while reading it and may not even know what bothered them.

Just a suggestion. I think your ideas and writing have merit.

You asked me to comment on the writing for you. I hope this is helping.