Quality Translations of Chinese Light Novels

Prologue

“Stupid fatty, go quickly. If you don’t go now that malefic person will awaken and return back to heaven and we’ll be out of luck.”

“That’s right, you slow poke. Go quickly.”

With white jade floors and topaz pillars, the magnificent Heaven Palace was currently filled with chaos. Every god was frantic, all urging a fat immortal.

Darkness surrounded her, and her body felt light.

I’m dead? She opened her eyes and looked up, but as before, it was dark.

Suddenly, she saw a burst of light.

A bald, chubby, smiling face appeared. Behind his bald head was a soft, light halo ring. It looked extremely pure and sacred.

“Who are you?” She frowned at the bald person that suddenly appeared. If she died, then shouldn’t Ox-Head and Horse-Face1 come and drag her before Yama?

“My child, don’t be skeptical. You are truly dead, and with the sins you committed in your lifetime, you should have been sent to the bottom of hell2 already.” The halo above the chubby bald person’s head was very conspicuous and his smile was very wide. It was as if he was the most benevolent elder in the world.

“I haven’t gone to hell yet.” She insipidly added, “also, I’m not your child. You are male, so you couldn’t have given birth to a big person like me.”

The chubby faced person started sweating, his expression becoming a little awkward. As expected, this nefarious person wouldn’t be that easy to deal with. Even though she lost all her memories, she was still as big a pain to deal with. That was why the gods decided to draw sticks to decide which person to send to settle this issue, and he was the one who unfortunately drew it.

“Ahem, ahem~~” The bald and chubby person coughed, straightened his face and said seriously, “Based on your having a merciful soul and great talent, we have had a discussion and decided to give you a chance to atone for you sins. We will let you go to another world to continue to cultivate.”

What? A merciful soul? Great talent? What do they mean? What atoning for sins? Going to another world to continue cultivation? What and what?

“Go, child. I hope you will live happily.” The fat, bald faced person didn’t waste any more words, and instead lightly waved his hand. A ray of light shot towards her, erasing her memories of their conversation as well.

The next moment, she disappeared from where she originally stood. The chubby and bald person let out a long breath and wiped the sweat on his forehead. Immediately, many gods appeared around him. They all laughed vulgarly, patting his shoulder and praising him.

“Very good, now that trouble-making being will be far from us.”

“You’re quite something, making up such peculiar reasons and then just sent her away.”

“Good, good, I’ll mark down this big merit for you.” The person who said this was naturally the governor of heaven.

But the bald and chubby faced person couldn’t smile. Even though he did send her away, but if one day that malefic person came back, the first to die would be him!

“What are you afraid of? She’ll need to cultivate for a long time before she can return, before her godhead3 can appear. That’s something that won’t happen for thousands of years.” Someone immediately consoled him.

That’s true. Hearing this, the bald and chubby person also started smiling vulgarly.

Malefic being, in that world, you should pray for good luck. It’s best if you don’t remember anything, best if you never return.

1. Ox-Head and Horse-Face: two guardians of the underworld in Chinese mythology. Yama is king of hell.↩2. Bottom of hell: literal translation would be “eighteenth level of hell”, but in Chinese mythology there is only 18 levels in total and it just means the very bottom, the deepest part.↩3. Godhead: when you practice enough, your godhead will appear and you can become a god. It’s a personality/trait/nature/stone that appears when you cultivate enough, and this enables you to become an immortal/god.↩