Sunday, August 6th, 1978, Adam Shane Godwin made his entrance into this world.

From birth, Adam was his brothers baby! When I could not do anything to stop Adam's crying, Kristopher, who was exactly 3 1/2 yrs. old the day of Adam's birth, would say to me, "Give me my baby. Let me have him. He wants me!" I suppose that he did. The moment I would hand him to Kristopher, the crying stopped and the cooing began. They were inseparable throughout their life. For that I am most grateful. The last couple of years of Adam's life they become more than brothers, they became friends.

Adam was so totally different than Kristopher, even from birth. Kristopher never cried as a baby. He slept 12 hours a night, from birth. He was a quiet, calm, very easy going baby and child. His clothes had to match, down to his socks, even as a toddler. He couldn't stand to get dirty, and now at the age of 39, has had his hands dirty one time that I know of! I even took a picture of that!

Adam...totally different...From the time he arrived, he made his presence known. He seemed to never sleep, just like his mother! By the time he was 7, he had most likely asked more questions than I have asked to this day. Kristopher would tease him sometimes and offer him a dollar if he could be quiet for just 5 minutes on the way home from town. LOL He never did get a dollar for that!

I'll never forget one day when Adam was 8 years old and he and I were riding home from town, by ourselves. We were halfway home and he had talked non-stop thus far, (10 minutes) and he looked at me and asked, "Can I ask you a question and you tell me the truth?" Of course, I told him, "Most certainly!" "Do I drive you crazy by talking all the time, asking so many questions, never being quiet?"

I was stunned! Did he actually talk too much? Did he talk all the time? I hadn't really noticed! That was just Adam. I couldn't imagine him being any other way. "Of course you don't drive me crazy! How could you? You're my Adam." We both smiled at one another and laughed.

I remember a time when he was 16 years old, a year before he was killed, when I looked at him and asked him, "What are you trying to do? Drive me crazy?" He looked at me and said, "I could never drive you crazy. I'm your Adam." I cried.

Adam had a passion for life. He was completely different from all the other people around him. We live in a very small country community. Sports, cowboys, rednecks, more sports! Here he was, a skater (skateboard), an artist, writer, musician...his passion was the drums, *weird* clothes, *strange* hair cuts, different music. I'm sure you get the picture! Those who know me in real life, definitely know he was my son!

There were always people who offered their unsolicited opinions on the clothes and hair styles of both our sons. One person, in particular, made the mistake of making a comment to Adam, stating; "I don't know why your mother allows you to wear your hair like that!" To which he promptly replied, "Not that it's any of your business, but my mother is the one who cuts my hair!" That was Adam, as well as Kristopher. They were both quick to speak their minds when someone was offering an unsolicited opinion. Wonder where they got that from? *Wink*

I was always telling people; if the only thing I ever have to be concerned about is the clothes they wear, or the way their hair looks ... while raising them to be responsible adults before turning them loose in society ... I'll truly be blessed. No truer words were ever spoken & I still hear those words replaying in my mind.

When Adam spent a year in the public school here, his Freshman year, he made many friends. Other's who didn't fit into the cookie cutter mold of the rural community out here quickly became his friends. What was *strange* about the friends he made was the fact that many of them couldn't stand one another. They had never had anything to do with one another...until they each became Adam's friend. He would tell each one of them, "You may not like him and he may not like you. But when you are with me, you will be friends and get along with one another." Today, those who Adam made friends with, who couldn't stand one another before Adam's presence in their lives, are still friends. I believe they always will be.

Previously I mentioned that Adam was different from all the other people in our rural community. Yet, during that year in the public school he was elected as the Freshman Class Favorite, as well as elected as an officer of the Freshman Class Committee.

I remember the last question that Adam asked me, just two days before his death. He had bought a truck just a month earlier, and washed it daily. I kept telling him that he was going to wash the paint off of it if he didn't give it a break! He was washing the truck when I returned home from shopping. As we were carrying the groceries in, I noticed a very small spot on the back fender. I asked him what that was. He said, "Well, you told me that I was going to wash the paint off...I did! There was some touch up paint on that spot and I actually scrubbed it off!" How we laughed at that!

I stood in the doorway, watching him wash that truck, and he looked at me and asked, "Mother, do you think that it is a sin to be proud of something? I mean really, really proud of something?" Of course I knew he was talking about his truck! I told him, "Of course not, baby! Why this is your very first truck. The first major responsibility you have. Of course, you are proud of it!" He smiled that beautiful smile of his and then laughed out loud and said, "Good!" as he breathed a sigh of relief, and continued, "Because I certainly don't want to be guilty of having any idol in my life!" I couldn't help but laugh along with him.

That laugh echoes in my mind to this day. That was the last question Adam asked me. The night that his body was found, I was sitting in my recliner and I heard his voice, so very plainly, and he asked, "Mother, do you think that it is a sin to be proud of something? I mean really, really proud of something?" Without hesitation, I turned and answered, "Of course not baby! Why that is your new home. Of course, you are proud of it!" I cried.

On Sunday, Mother's Day, May 12th, 1996, Adam Shane Godwin made his departure from this world; and made his entrance into his new home.

Precious memories, how they linger. How they ever flood my soul. In the stillness, of the midnight. Precious sacred scenes unfold. Adam, we didn't know we were making memories. We were just living and enjoying life. Those days of living and enjoying life are now precious memories that will be treasured forever.

There are times that I miss him so much that I don't know what to do with myself. Then there are times that I can't possibly say that I miss him, because it is as though his presence surrounds me. My new life. Life without Adam's presence.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love." Washington Irving

Adam Shane GodwinSunday, August 6th, 1978Sunday, May 12th, 1996

We Love You, Adam, more than life itself...Mother & Dad Dude

My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves Precious Memories no one can steal.

Yes, Father, I can say, "Thank you for trusting me with this experience even if You never tell me why. For I now understand that I do not need to always understand all things. ~ Gloria McCracken Godwin ~

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Adam...It's been another one of *those* days. Playing over & over in my mind today: The days will always be brighter because you existed. The nights will always be darker because you're gone. And no matter what anybody says about grief and about time healing all wounds, the truth is; there are certain sorrows that never fade away until the heart stops beating and the last breath is taken. Then we'll be together for all eternity. Words are insufficient when it comes to expressing how much I miss ...» read more

2015...Another year begins ... without your presence. “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” (Haruki Murakami) Adapt & cope. That's what we do with this life of ours. This life without you. Miss you more than ever. Love you with all that is...» read more

Thinking of you these past couple of weeks. I know you're aware that Jamie Reed made his entrance into his eternal home and I'm positive the two of you have already spent time together. I also want to share this with you. I know you remember my friend Roger Dale, the stories I shared with you and Kristopher over the years. The last time you saw him you were only 5 or 6 years of age. He, too, made his entrance into his eternal home only 3 days ago. If you've not already met him there, look him up...» read more

Thinking of you tonight & missing you more than words could ever express. In spite of the overwhelming awareness of your absence, joy continues to fill my spirit. Joy in knowing that one day we will be together for all eternity. I love you my precious son.

Happy Birthday Adam! FSTA
As long as we live, you will live.
As long as we live, you will be remembered.
As long as we live, you will be loved.
We love & miss you with all that is within us!

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Author Journal

25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*My New Life*
I resented the fact that I had a "new life!" This new life that I never asked for! This new life that no one consulted me about before turning my life upside down! This new life that was handed to me whether I wanted it or not!
A new life without Adam's presence! There are days when I sense those old feelings trying to creep back in. argh! I had to learn to cope without his presence...it was a necessity.
I don't agree with such statements as..."Time heals all wounds." "W...
» read more ...

25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*Please Mention Adam*
Oh how I resented the fact that people just stopped talking about Adam! It was as though he had never existed! I really hated it when people didn't mention him any longer! Oh my...do I remember the bitterness that would rage within me when no one mentioned him at all!
I found that many people were afraid to mention him...for fear of bringing the hurt, the loss back to my mind. It took me telling them...It had NEVER left my mind…How could their mentioning him hurt me?...
» read more ...

25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*Resentments & Precious Memories*
It has been almost thirteen years since Adam's death. He was only 17 years old when he was killed. He would now be 30 years old!!! I can't even imagine Adam being 30! He will forever be 17 years old in my mind.
Even though his older brother just turned 34...and all Adam's friends are now 29 to 31 years of age...and I see them all the time... Married, children of their own...going on with their lives...growing older, more mature, doing great things in lif...
» read more ...

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25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*My New Life*
I resented the fact that I had a "new life!" This new life that I never asked for! This new life that no one consulted me about before turning my life upside down! This new life that was handed to me whether I wanted it or not!
A...
» read more ...

25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*Please Mention Adam*
Oh how I resented the fact that people just stopped talking about Adam! It was as though he had never existed! I really hated it when people didn't mention him any longer! Oh my...do I remember the bitterness that would rage ...
» read more ...

25 Feb 2009 -
Gloria
wrote in journal:
*Resentments & Precious Memories*
It has been almost thirteen years since Adam's death. He was only 17 years old when he was killed. He would now be 30 years old!!! I can't even imagine Adam being 30! He will forever be 17 years old in my mind.
...
» read more ...