Alastair: If there’s one thing the superficial persona I invented for the sake of this introduction can’t stand, it’s ambiguous lyrics. When I’m getting down to the doof doof doof doof music us young people totally dig, I want the song’s meaning to be unmistakably obvious.

Piece of Me by Britney Spears, on the other hand, is a piece riddled with riddles. With odd self-depreciating lines like “Oh my god, that Britney’s shameless” and seemingly unrelated references to the paparazzi, it’s impossible to tell where she’s going without some sort of in-depth, line-by-line analysis. And so with the moral support (of the writing-several-passages-outright variety) of Chad McCanna and Andrey Summers, I put together exactly that.

Sensitive readers are advised that the following article contains graphic images of the spiky-haired guy from Good Charlotte.

Before we embraced the world of sound with – let’s not lie here – a pretty boot-bottomly bitchin’ podcast, we had several less advisable attempts at musicianship. While we had a lot to learn in the ways of musical timing and audio editing, we hope you still enjoy these tracks in the intended spirit of amateurish fun.