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NEWS: Microsoft To Sell Halo To Electronic Arts

Just in with breaking new Halo news. Microsoft has just announced that on Thursday, July 2, they’ll be selling the Halo franchise to legendary software publisher, Electronic Arts. Phil Spencer, Microsoft’s current head of the Xbox Division, has provided HaloSwallower with further details on the surprising sale:

This [selling Halo] wasn’t an easy decision. However, when we bought Minecraft last year for 2 billion dollars, it was because we’d be making changes. One of those changes was giving up Halo, which we felt was necessary because of Halo sacrilegious lack of dank memes. Not just dank memes, but also rare pepes. It really wasn’t something that we, as a company, could support. And so, we gave it to hands far more apt than ours: Electronic Arts.

Electronic Arts couldn’t give many details on their plans upon acquiring the rights to Halo, due to Andrew Wilson (CEO of EA) tripping utter balls from LSD every damn second of his career, but the following has been rumored:

Halo 5: Guardians will require an additional online subscriptions for every gamemode

The dedicated servers for all current and future games will be replaced by completely shitty servers that can barely hold a single request without crashing

Halo Effect: Revenge of the Memepers, Sim City: New Mombasa, and Spore: Path of Lifeworkers to be announced