Dr. Jeff Gardere

America's Psychologist

Dr. Jeff is one of the most widely sought-after experts in the field of mental health. In addition to having a private practice in Manhattan, he has garnered a reputation as being a top motivational and keynote speaker, empowerment and media coach.

Books

Dr. Jeff is the author of several books.

Dr. Jeff endorses these products and services.

Healthy Divorce App

Nabi Tablet for Kids

Philip Stein

According to mental health and relationship expert Dr. Jeff Gardere, the answer is yes. You may be experiencing symptoms of an Exaholic, or someone whose strong attachment has turned self-destructive and dangerous. Dr. Jeff's latest project is a website and online community dedicated to exactly this crisis, (www.exaholics.com), and it provides resources and advice for getting through that relationship you just can’t get over.

In our chat together, Dr. Jeff describes how our bodies process relationships not just emotionally, “but in our brains as well.” When that attchment is no longer there, we can experience activity in our neurotransmitters similar to “withdrawal as part of an addiction.”

In our chat together, Dr. Jeff responds to a broken person "who has not stopped crying for two weeks". This is actually a natural and welcomed feeling after a relationship ends. “You’re going through a bereavement, you’re experiencing grief,” says Gardere. A certain hope has indeed died, and it's more than worthwhile to mourn for a period of time.

In our chat together, Dr. Jeff cautions those on relying too much on social media and the internet for relationship strength. For all of it’s advantages, the internet can very much be a “devil’s playground”, says Dr. Jeff, especially if you’re spending more time and energy on it than you are in the real world. He says it can "develop into an addiction" just like anything else, and while dating online is very much a reality, understanding and communication are required within a relationship to know what type of online activity makes sense.

Knowing the difference between “the Breakup Blues” and “obsessing over your ex” can be difficult to determine when the wounds are still fresh. And that’s okay - “It’s your party, you can cry if you want to,” says Dr. Jeff. However, if you’re still feeling helpless going on one month or more, and “you’re not eating or sleeping, or can’t get out of bed,” then Dr. Jeff advises taking action. You don’t wan’t to get to the point where you’re “having hurtful thoughts,” or engaging in “stalking behavior”; that, he says, is a sign of “obsession”.