The story

Another good week for Dave and the boys. Another sacred national institution quietly set fair to be reduced to rubble in the next few years. If only they could just stick to things that don't matter, like dicking about with the monarchy. At least when you abolish the right to primogeniture, we can all entertain ourselves with the hope that fate will one day allow Anne to be king.

Despite sterling work from Lords Owen, Hennessy and Rea, despite 150,000 protesting signatures gathered by the 38 Degrees campaign, the NHS reforms bill was passed. "Reforms" meaning here "the changes we're making that we promised in our worthless manifestos we wouldn't, not least because they involve yet more expensive top-down reorganisation when, uh, due to our other promises not exactly working out either, an unfixed economy ain't giving us any extra cash to splash out on consultants (the bad sort, not the helpful, Adam Werritty sort)". Just strip the country and sell it for parts, would you? It'll be quicker and less painful than this.

The stat

£2,000

The annual amount average household income will fall in the coming year, which should make it even harder to pay all those health insurance premiums you're going to need.

The quote

'Cancelled due to …

… lack of interest." Portsmouth council withdraws a Safe Sex for Over-60s class from its programme of events at its 60+ festival

The tweet

"Can a muhthafucker say fuck on here?" The star of Pulp Fiction and Snakes on a Plane launches his Twitter account with an apposite question.