Thursday, December 15, 2011

One interesting thing thats come up in discussion and sales is size! Not in regards to a persons penis but vibrators/dildos/"massagers"

First its good to point out heaps of people have the mindset if you pay more money there should be a large quanity or amount of whatever it is. This is in general, i think. Then there are some folks who will pay more for better quality, long lasting whatever it is. I totally get both points. In an adult shop though, you get what you pay for IMO.

Now to shift to the saucy side of things! We know theres a myth about size for men. Bigger is better for women (or other men but I feel in most spaces this exists in a heteronormative discussion, lesbians dont tend to have this ideal and most gay men don't subscribe to this myth because it is about dominating women and thinking women get off on penetration as opposed to clitoral stimulation. Kk?)

This myth has spread further than I imagined. People leak this into toys. Men take a look at the higher quality, longer lasting, nicer feeling, best warrantied, and ironically, one of the only lines designed by women, luxury toys and say either "shit, I could please a girl better than THAT, I'm way bigger than that thing!" Or "Who the hell would pay for that? No woman would enjoy that, especially for 150-250 bucks!"

...

It's even gotten into womens heads they need something huge and elephant-like to get 1)pleasure and 2) their moneys worth.

Dont get me wrong. Some women really enjoy that. But its wrong to assume, (especially for vanilla folks, or women who want to get in tune with what pleases them), to reach awesome orgasms that it requires a double fist. Or is anything far from a lelo/swan. Its wrong to assume orgasms can only or should come from penetration. Why is this wrong? Because its not true and stems from male dominated fields full of sexist ideals that dont have a voice or space for women.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The commerical I saw was the first 30 seconds of the youtube clip I just linked, I guess there's a longer version or a different one? Regardless, it should be clear what is very wrong and very racist with this advertisement.

First, the language. Can someone please confirm what language they're speaking? Because if the commentor both on the YT link and elsewhere are true - it's a fake language. I might add it's a bit fucked up they put subtitles in - not only when it's a fake language - but when the Asian characters are speaking English. The subtitles are even "ungrammatical" to really really DRIVE the point home - these are "ignorant foreigners" ('why they so busy over there'). The description on the link even says "Watch as Sumo Sam and his waiter discover the secret of Alfa One Rice Bran Oil."

Secondly, Asian male roles typically encompass these stereotypes: the "goof", martial artist, have an ancient/ethereal way of living, highly intelligent loner who "can't get a girl", and almost always heavily accented. Think Toshi from American Dad.

This commercial fills most of those stereotypes - they even have a gong sound effect a few times throughout.

Now, there's nothing wrong with having an accent or not speaking English, or not having English as your first language. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong when it's perpetuated as a negative trait in the media, such as in this commercial.

They are associating ignorance with the "other", the accented-English-speaking/fake Asian language/"needing subtitles", non white characters. They make a direct negative connection between the Asian men and their empty restaraunt to their failure to use this healthier, smarter product where, surprise, the white male characters' restaraunts use and they are packed with customers.

I understand the basic concept: Our product is a secret, from a restaraunts standpoint, if you use our product (the target demographic I'm guessing is soewhere with large/mass production compared to at-home cooking) you'll bring in/keep/have happy customers because the food will be amazing. blahblahblahbullshitbullshitbullsiht. Advertising 101.

There could have been sooo many different ways to show this, so many different ideas, presentations. But no. It took a series of meetings, and people in a series of groups and discussions to come with this racism.

Alfa One Rice Bran Oil, shame on you.
This was the only link I can think of to tell them their racist commercial is unwanted: http://www.hansells.com/feedback.aspx

Friday, December 9, 2011

Recently two events have happened and frankly they have pissed me the hell off.

If anyone recalls my other blogpost about how our bodies are not here to be wallpaper for men and that we are only considered valuable if we look sexy (an inachievable prescribed type of sexy) - well this relates.

These two events involve being scrutinized and insulted about my weight.

Now, I have a hard enouh time keeping my self esteem up with the pressure from other every day external sources we all know about, the media, etc. Just because we know theres a problem with having a warped view of beauty and body idealism and pressure doesnt mean we cannot also fall victim to it. Because we are meant to feel shamed, we react with pride. So it takes a lot of mental and emotional energy for me to feel pride, not feel ashamed, maintain some decent level of confidence and simultaneously, actively try to lose weight. Did i also mention I have hashimotos disease? Okay. That being said...

Im sick to fuck of our bodies being picked apart publically, as if open for damn debate, opinion and consensus. Discriminating, judgemental assholes have the problem of 'viewing' when they see something strange, or really obviously ignoring it because heaven forbid something undesired come into eyesight. But opening your mouth is another damn thing.

So my fiance had his wisdom teeth taken out. His mom invites us over for dinner a few nights later. Sure, why not. When we get there she says we will probably have omelettes. My fiance having just gotten off a huge day of work suggests fish and chips since that is also soft and more filling and we can just pick it up, nobody has to cook, etc!

FMIL: "but thats not good for Tiffany's waist"

Fiance: "her waist is fine"

FMIL "no it's not!"

And she proceeds to look at me and I'm trying to be patient and not react. Take the calm road or whatever the fuck. I don't even look at her. She changes the subject, then later my fiance comments on how good our cottage pie was we tried to make (for the first time evar~) and how funny it was we had to mash potatos with a spoon and fork. Her response?

"No wonder Tiffany is having weight problems."

...it took everything inside me not to explode. I really regret holding it in, to be honest. She, in particular, is really bad. Every time I see her she is on me about my weight, asking if or when or why haven't I gone to the gym, and even going regularly multiple times a week I was, to quote, "probably doing something wrong and needed a personal trainer." This night was probably the worst comment she had ever made to me, directly and blatantly.

The second incident was at my job. I was lacing up corsets while my coworker was checking a girl out. I wasn't even in their chit-chat conversation. She saw we had plus size costumes, commenting "wow you usually don't see that, big girls in sexy outfits." Then waved at me saying "no offense." Im sorry but what the fuck? What in the actual fuck? It was really awkward for me and my coworker. I just smiled and walked off continuing to do my job.

Are people so entitled they think they can shame, humiliate, insult, debate, and flat out negatively comment on my body because im not xyz size or measurements? Are they really that up themselves?

My fiances mom, i think, has good intentions but who gives a shit. Its not her job to care about my weight, its never been her concern. Even if she did want to be caring it requires an element of support, not negativity. She as a person is a whole different case, but as a representation of the type of fuckwit who thinks theyre doing a good public deed by flat out insulting people, she paints a good picture I'd say.

Even if the comments were "positive" its still inappropiate. Like that girl in the shop. "Oh wow big girls can try to look sexy too, even though theyre bigger!" lolstfu! Hiding behind the "compliment" is bull because its still discriminatory, coming from a priviliged person.

To assume that people are in such a horrible state based on nothing but fucked up perceptions of beauty and attraction, that you think its a okay to insult- oh wait these people dont even consider it an insult thats right theyre helping, okay- to comment on that persons body and life that you know NOTHING about is entirely and completely wrong.

I'll put it simply: unsolicited comments are unsolicited. If someone wants your opinion, they will ask. This includes "compliments" and "help". If you cant contain yourself because someone near you isnt a size 6, get fucked!listen to Thumper.