YOUR 4 RELATIONSHIP VALUES

I call it a love-hack: a major shift in perspective that completely transforms how you approach romantic relationships.

We’ve all heard the maxim: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This basic principle urges us to treat others the way we want to be treated. It works well enough in everyday life, but in our intimate relationships… not so much.

Why? Because the underlying assumption of the Golden Rule is that you and another person want to be treated the same way. And while this may be true in a general sense (for example: all of us want respect), it’s rarely true in the specific sense. And it’s the specifics that can make or break a relationship.

When your love life is easy and fulfilling, the rest of your life is expansive. You have a positive outlook, the energy and resilience to meet life’s challenges as a team.

On the other hand, when your love life is bogged down with power struggles and misunderstandings, you slog through your days, disappointed in love, and drained by the lack of alignment.

In my workshop, Relationship Magic, I show online video workshop participants how to upgrade and transform any relationship—even one that is already broken—by practicing what I call The Platinum Rule of Relationship.

What would happen if you started to treat your partner the way they want to be treated rather than the way you want to be treated?

Would your relationship feel different if your partner did the same for you?

Have you ever actually stopped to reflect on the specifics of what you want from your relationship, how you want your partner to behave toward you?

Imagine being able to say to a current or potential partner: “Let me tell you some of the things you can do that will make me happy.” This is what I call Relationship Magic. Here are just a few of the benefits:

If you’re single, the process will help you identify what you are looking for in a partner.

If you’re with someone and not quite sure they’re the one for you, this process will clarify that for you.

If you’re in a committed relationship but can’t seem to get what you need, this process can fill that gap.

If your relationship is not working, this process can give you a hit of clarity that explains what’s broken and how to fix it.

If you are on the brink of divorce, this process could very well save your marriage… just as it did mine.

And if your relationship is already great, this process will optimize it to Olympic gold medal status. Your friends will envy your deep connectedness.

Here’s what you can expect in the workshop:

We start with a crucial question: “Do you know what you are looking for in a relationship?”

Participants are often quite surprised to find that they’re confused as to how to answer this question.

Most people have only a vague sense of what they want from their relationship. Some singles have even made a “list” of the qualities they want in a partner. But who takes the time to identify the steady-state emotions that would make them feel they are living the life they want to live, the way they want to live it with someone special? This is our focus in this workshop.

I start by giving you a discount copy of my $27 book, Relationship Magic for $9.99 to use as a workbook for the session. If you can’t afford the $9.99 you can simply follow along without it using a few sheets of paper.

Some people just like having the worksheets and list of values in front of them.

The workshop consists of a series of quick exercises that make for an exciting experience. The process is intentionally fast-moving so you get to what’s real for you without overthinking it.

Certain exercises will be repeated, allowing for a deeper cut that goes beneath the surface level of familial and cultural programming. The process is very intuitive and often results in a “hit” that rings true in the body and reveals an authentic desire we may never have admitted to ourselves.

In this highly interactive, experiential workshop, you will have the opportunity to step into their future self and feel how it feels to:

Know beyond the shadow of a doubt what you want from your relationship.

Understand how your partner’s mind works and how to give them precisely what they need to be happy in your relationship.

Become “the One” in your partner’s eyes.

Enjoy a romantic partnership that never falls victim to pointless arguments, anger or frustration.

You start by asking: What are my values?

This is the cornerstone of the process: identifying the values that are intrinsic to who you are.

Using the Relationship Magic Worksheet in your book, you will look through an extensive list of Relationship Magic Words that cover everything from achievement, passion, health and resourcefulness to communication, acceptance, patience and adventure.

You will ask: “What do I want?”

The answers might be:

Humor and daily giggles shared just between us two.

A sense of belonging, of being an unstoppable team together.

Security, a financial foundation that gives me peace of mind.

Enough independence to get out on my own now and then.

A cuddle buddy who makes me feel cherished and adored.

Having listed your core relationship values, you will next rank-order those values by answering the question: “Would I be in a relationship if I couldn’t have this?” Then I will show you how to whittle down the list to identify your four “must-haves.”

Once you know your top four relationship values, it’s easy to ask a partner to support those core values. No more guessing games. No more manipulating to get what you want but have never been able articulate or ask for directly. You know your needs are being met because they are. And when you offer your significant other this kind of support in return, you become each other’s “best partner.”

In the final embodiment exercise, you will step into your future self and, remembering the Platinum Rule, give as much detail as possible about how you want to be treated by a partner. Then you will describe how it feels to be with a person who is happy to give you exactly what you need.

You will leave the session with a totally new perspective on love. Rather than look at difficulties in relationship as “something gone wrong,” you will understand the underlying dynamics of your partner’s behavior and frustration. What once sounded like a “complaint” will sound like a request.

Similarly, if you are in the dating game you will leave the session equipped to play the game with greater skill and finesse. No longer a fruitless time-suck, the dating game will turn into a process of discovery and clarification.

For countless people, this process has been a profoundly moving, emotional experience that revives their faith in romantic love. Flashes of insight occur in a short time as the key to a truly fulfilling relationship clicks in.

I hope you’ll set aside an hour after dinner to prop the laptop up on your tummy, relax and delve into yours essential self with me.

If you have already purchased Relationship Magic but didn’t yet get to doing your values, this is a great time to find it, print the worksheets and discover your top four relationship values! (reply to this email if you’ve forgotten your logins to get your Relationship Magic workbook)