Friday, June 26, 2009

"If there was just 1 seat available for a job, would either you or your best friend be willing to give it up for the other if one wanted it a little more but both had nothing in hand?""No""Then you shouldn't call each other friends. Only competitors".

So many time sit happens, something rattles our very soul because we don't have an answer that particular time. Blog is helpful this way. I would like to answer something a bit similar".No, I don't believe either of them needs to give up for the other and I don't think either would expect that also. Simply because I don't believe friendship means sacrifice to this level. Not in today's world. To help one another is one thing. To give your time is also fine. But there is a limit beyond which you only do things for family. Because that's where you belong. They represent you. Friends don't, even if that seems harsh to some. So if you are asked to give up something which could hurt your family, even if just feelings-wise, or something which goes against what you feel you are meant to do, then I feel it's ok to refuse. Work is also apart of you, and if you love your work then it would be injustice to yourself to lose out on it.

And I don't believe friendship can't have competition. I used to hate competition. Maybe i still do. But I realize one can't exist without it. But it is possible to have a co-operative kind of competition with each helping the other. In that all can win to some level. But withdrawl is not an option. Neither is giving your best or seizing the opportunity bad. It's only bad when you push someone deliberately. It's also bad when you turn a blind eye to someone who has fallen. But not otherwise.

It's different world. Sacrifice is exists but it need not be unlimited.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Been reading Shobha De's Speedpost. In it , the author writes letters to her children on various issues of everyday life, things she couldn't tell , things to be remembered.

I thought of saying it's not a common novel but then no novel is common. There is at least one person who enjoys and even loves any particular novel.

But this one is a must read. It would do well as a family reading also....hmmm...that's a new concept that needs to be explored....

Here are a few thoughts that I really liked from it (black portions are explanatory, rest is quoted) :

Who cares if you follow social norms at the expense of our loved ones? Nobody does. Then why do we do it?Because we adults are cowards. We get our priorities wrong. We give undue importance to unimportant things. Basically we are fools.

Women are not encouraged to display overt emotions, especially if they are negative - never mind their validity or context. ....i resent the idea that I have to be calm, composed, an angel of good humour at all times ............it's unrealistic.

Do childrens' calls have to deal with emergencies? Can they not be about sharing a small moment, a thought, a feeling? Yes, it's extravagant but for me it's essential to stay in touch and any price is worth that electric charge that I get when, in a strange city at an odd hour in an unfamiliar setting, the shrill of a cellphone nestling in my handbag galvanizes me into action.

I regret that you don't have a dish that you associate exclusively with me.

In my anxiety to keep up with your world.....but I should have invested the same amount of time drawing you into our world, your grandmothers' and mine. Then we could have participated in each others' world more fully, more completely.

It's such a warm, comforting thought to that there are at least three individuals in the world who know you inside out and what's more , accept you exactly the way you are.They have seen you at your worst... Nobody had judged you. You have slipped up, been insensitive...Oh well, these things happen.

How could she possibly know the pleasure of hearing high-pitched voices coming home joyfully, knowing with certainty that their mother would be there to greet them?

You will do fine...even if you a get a little less marks...I want you to look at the bigger picture. To learn to be curious, to be alive, to absorb, to enjoy.

It wasn't the question of defiance alone. I preferred to make my own mistakes.

...how much more fun it is if you're lucky to be married to someone who shares your progress with you, enjoys the journey with equally and is there to hold your hand every step of the way and say 'Bravo' when you succeed and 'Don't worry' when you fail.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

It's been a while. No, I still haven't got in touch with myself. Sometimes it's not so easy. When did studies start? School? College? Grad school? At least after two years of "proper work", it's difficult to suddenly realize you are "free". Free from what? The daily schedule becomes a part of you. It difficult to suddenly get to know that you can no longer come your college, that you have no work for at least a few weeks or maybe a month. My friend maybe rightly called it the "IIT withdrawl symptoms". But it makes you feel old. As a child I always used to ask people, when do you finally grow up? Hmmm....maybe never at heart. But here are a few symtoms when you can safely consider yourself grown up in the eyes of the world, whether you like it or not :

When the average age of crickters is less than yours. (it really came as a shock to me!)

When your peers start getting married.....a weird nostalgia and refusal to accept the situation will overwhelm you

When you can no longer delay deciding what you will do for the rest of your life. When you talk of further studies, suddenly people think you have gone crazy. But well that's the one thing I know I like doing and it feels safe. Do people still study just for the sake of learning and instead of career opportunities?

When you realise you are too old for certain of your dreams. OK so you are never too old but ya, you would no longer be appreciated for a particular mastery.

When you yourself wonder about married life and accept or fear it not as some"maybe" in distant future but as a reality.

When you worry that you really will never grow up despite your age :( . I mean parents pamper you most of your life and now someday you would be expected to follow those footsteps, be responsible for not just yourself.No more tantrums or sulkings. Be an adult in real life. It's chilling!

Any suggestions?One thing that doesn't make me feel so is that this is my 200th post :)Long live blogging!