Horses are among nature’s most proud, and prideful, animals. Behold the majesty of Arabian rising on its haunches, or the way a Kentucky thoroughbred puffs out its chest and prances after winning a race.

But pride of these horses pale in comparison to that of Alfie, a 10-year-old Shire-cross who lives in England and refuses to let his owner shave off his bitchin ‘stache:

However Alfie clearly enjoys the look and groom Justine Greenslade said all efforts to clip it had been in vain.

“He’s obviously rather proud of his facial hair,” she said. “He runs a mile if he thinks we’re going to trim it.”

Moustaches are relatively rare on horses although they are noted among Friesians, which are said to be able to grow ones to rival surrealist painter Salvador Dali’s.

All I know is Alfie the mustache horse is officially the most badass horse in all of England, and should not be kept in a stall in the countyside. He should be rollin’ in a late 80’s Mark III van, listening to Frampton and banging show ponies behind the stables. Yeah, I’ll show you a paddock. Wait, what?