Pages

6.6.09

10.21.2009

It was late. She had enough to drink and so did you. You had both spent the evening at a bar with good and new friends. Standard practice. But now you were home. She thought it was darker since the cab ride and outside, it was damp. New Friend had passed out already and didnt even wake up when you yelled at her. Youve never yelled at her before. She was your best friend. You never fought. She yelled back but not about the same things. She didnt know what you meant, why you were yelling. And after she called you out in the dark, you both laughed. You suggested a walk to the river to watch the sun come up. Maybe to remove you both from the grounds of the scuffle, maybe to justify still being awake at the very late hour, maybe for other reasons, she didnt know why. But she accepted.

She wore flip flops and your baggy clothes. You wore a heavy jacket with no shirt underneath. While her feet soaked in dew, her hand settled in yours. She didnt know exactly why you held her hand, on the millions of walks you had taken before you always and simply walked side by side. She didnt know why she let you hold it tonight, but there it stayed until the grass met the water.

She noticed you help lower her to the ground as she drew in deep and cool breaths of the freshest air. Youre timing was perfect as the sky slowly lit up from the bottom. She was cold and could smell your scent through the moist air. You must have spotted her teeth chattering because you pulled her inside your coat as you laid the two of you slowly backward into the soft grass. You squeezed her into you. You held her so differently. It was so different from the times you held her and listened to her cry. So different from when you were the best friend easily wiping away worried tears. It was so different and she liked it. You both watched as the sky got brighter and brighter. You both laughed when a jogger passed by on the path above your heads in the light of the morning. You both fell asleep.

When she woke up, you were kissing. She didnt know how it started but she didnt end it. The kisses were long and passionate and everything she wanted. She climbed on top of you and you fought through her long tangled hair to make way to her lips for more. You whispered beautiful words in her ears and made her feel like more than shes ever felt. It was like a dream and she never wanted to wake up.

It was light, officially day and the air was even colder. You suggested heading home. On the walk back you held her hand and she stopped questioning it. You stopped and kissed her every so often and she couldnt hide her childlike smile. You whispered more beauty into her ears and she drank in every delicious syllable. As you held her face in your hand and her lips with your own, she savored every second. She didnt worry about it, or think of anything else. She simply enjoyed herself and fell for her best friend even if only for the moment.

This piece was inspired by my journal entry (some parts actually copied right out) about this night. The night it all changed. The night i fell for my best friend. And, no, it wasnt only for the moment.

par·a·chute

“But it’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.” — American Beauty