An Essence of the Dusk, 5th Edition eBook

And he turned pale at the thought, that any other lover
should, even a very little, have occupied her heart
before him. And he stood silent, and confused,
striving to expel from his mind the doubt that Natabhrukuti
had raised in it, saying to himself: Can I really
be only the last of many lovers? And all the
while, Natabhrukuti watched him, devouring him as
it were with her eyes. And at last, she said again:
Sweet boy, thou art too young and too honest to cope
with women, who were framed by the Creator to deceive.
But Aja said angrily: Thou art thyself a woman,
seeking at this very moment to deceive me: and
as for thy age, it is less than my own. And she
said: Nay, nay: I am older, for I am wiser
than thyself. For when I see my husband, I remember
him, but me thou hast utterly forgotten, thy true
and only wife. Ah! foolish one, thou hast forgotten.
And thou resemblest one, who casts away a costly jewel,
for the sake of a bit of glass, shining only in the
sunlight of thy ignorance, and trodden by the foot
of every passing stranger. What! can I do nothing
to rouse thy recollection? Look at me well! look
hard, and it may be, something of me will touch as
it were a chord in thy soul.

And she came up close to him, so that the warmth and
fragrance of her beauty enveloped him like an atmosphere
of intoxication. And she joined her hands, looking
up into his face, as it were compelling his reluctant
admiration by her humble submission to his will.
And she said: Hast thou, hast thou indeed forgotten
all? And as he gazed at her, two huge drops of
crystal welled into her eyes, and hung poised before
they fell on the net of her long dark lashes.
And she said: Thou sayest, I am seeking to deceive
thee. I love thee, and where is the deception?
Is it not rather thou that art the deceiver in this
matter? Is it any fault of mine if another has
stepped in to defraud me of thyself? Or am I to
be blamed, if thy beauty still beguiles me as it did
long ago? And yet, dost thou accuse me as if
I were a criminal? O blue black bee, what is
this behaviour, that thou seekest as it were to pick
a quarrel with the poor red lotus who loves thee but
too well? And she smiled through her tears, and
exclaimed: Ah I but in spite of thee, I will adore
thee, whether thou wilt or no. Ha! and I will
compel thee to remember, and force my way through
every barrier and obstacle till I reach the recollection[26]
in the bottom of thy heart. O canst thou not remember
the days of long ago, when my now despised beauty was
a joy to thee, and my hair a very net to snare thy
willing soul, and my eyes were more to thee than any
diamonds, and these two arms were thy prison and thy
chain, and this agitated bosom was thy pillow on which
I lulled thee to slumber with the music of this very
voice. Hast thou really forgotten the nectar
of my kiss? hast thou actually forgotten thy own insatiable
thirst? Ah! but if thou hast forgotten, I have
not; and the innumerable multitudes of thy too delicious
kisses come back to me, singing in my memory, and
whispering in my soul like the lisping of the sea.
Hark! Dost thou not hear them also, those voices
of a former birth?