Thursday, December 22, 2016

As I already said on my facebook page, the reason
for my depression is my father who abused our family. It went on since I was born till I was 30 when I finally said stop. Why did it take me so long? Well, let me tell
you something about my old man. He would beat me up and call me names whenever
he felt like. Every reason was a good one. He’s always been training me not to be
independent. But I was a rebel and I left abroad when I was 20. Unfortunately I totally broke down. That's when my depression began. My father’s training paid off because I wasn’t able to manage on my
own. I had to come back and he was so happy. He was so good to me back then but
it was just temporary. He called me a “prodigal daughter” and was afraid to hit me again but
still abused me mentally.

The best thing is that he still thinks
he is such a great father who loves me. Too bad he never told me he loved me
when he was hitting me or calling me a “stupid cunt", a "whore" or a "trash", each and every single time denying afterwards that he
ever called me that way. I planned on leaving, this time without ever coming
back. Because I had this trauma that I would somehow be forced to come back home again.
That’s why I never left again so far. While my mom escaped abroad for work a few years ago. And I lived in my parents' apartment with my fiancé and my brother but my old man came there on the weekends to control us. Whereas during
the week he lives in my hometown and where he and my mom own a few
other apartments. Nevertheless he thinks everything belongs to him only. And there is also my brother who is so manipulated by my old man that he
denies that there was ever any kind of violence at our home. Even though my father is abusing him as well. He used to beat him up and now he's calling him names every little now and then. Still, Daniel remains blind. But well, it
doesn’t even surprise me that much because my bro was always favored just because he’s a male.

Over 3
months ago my old man threw his hands at me and I called the police. I sued him
for domestic violence because it wasn’t the first time he attacked me but this
time it was the last. The case is still in progress and I moved out to my
future mother-in-law because we can’t afford our own place at the moment. Apart from that I'm not going to risk another attack because this man keeps on proving he's unpredictable and just dangerous. I’d
never expect I would have to face something like this but there’s no other way
to put a stop to this horror, I never thought I’d be strong enough to do this. I
talk about it out in the open so the other home abuse victims would
know they’re not alone. My struggle goes on but I’m gonna win, this way or
another. And my life will change for the better, once and for all. It’s a slow
process but I’m getting stronger, even though it’s the hardest time in my life.
Christmas is coming and I will never again spend it with my father and it
makes me truly happy. And since I got married during this difficult time I have
the support I’ve always needed because my husband is completely different from
my old man. We have some big plans for 2017 and I’ll finally be free from a psychopath who’s head over heels in love with money. Too bad
he can’t take it to the grave! Nevertheless he’s already dead to me anyway.
Only modeling and my other passions kept me sane for all those years of
suffering in silence.

I want to
wish all of you merry Christmas and a happy new year. And I truly hope that the
next year will be so much better than the last one. Never lose hope because
there is always a way to get out of even the most effed up situations. It's never too late to change your whole life! Material
goods come and go and no money can buy love or respect. Wealth is having people
who are important to us. I have those and that makes me the richest person in
the world, they’re the best Christmas gift I could ever get :)