ON: BEING OPEN ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS

Hi guys, as I’m sure I told you on my first Peace Of Mind post, this is a space where I want to share some more personal things, so you can get to know me better, and hopefully we can connect some more, this isn’t a one sided thing, I like to get conversations started and get to know my audience as well, so please, feel free to share your experiences and points of view, because this is a hard subject for me that I’ve been debating whether to share or not in this space for quite some time now.

I decided today that I’d touch that subject, yes, mental illness, cause I’m always ranting about how it’s a taboo subject that almost no one opens up about, and let’s face it, it’s just another illness, it’s like saying I’m celiac, I’ve got arthritis, I’ve got colitis, whatever, people just freak out at the mention of illnesses of the mental kind. And I just don’t want my kids to live in that kind of world you know? Where they’re affraid to admit to that kind of problem or ask for help for fear of what people will think, I know that what I write might not change the world, but if I’m not open how can I expect the world to change and stop shaming people for struggling with this kind of issues.

I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of 17, I was still in high school and I was going through major family drama, ever since then I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety, but I was always too afraid to let anyone know, when I was diagnosed it was by the highschool psychologist, and I kept it a secret, I didn’t tell my parents until months later when I had what I think was my first anxiety attack.

Truth is, I went through a couple of therapists over the years after that, but not one seemed to work for me, I was scared of what I felt, I thought that a couple of sessions could eliminate everything in my life that made me feel this way, cause after a while I’d feel so much better, almost happy, but being honest, I was in pins and needles, over the years something would happen in my life, a fight with a friend, a failed relationship, a fight with my mom, not seeing my dad, and I’d just slip to the ground again, but I guess I just learned to hide it as time went by, I’d plaster a smile on my face and say “I’m fine” and keep on living life, until a couple of years ago when I realized I couldn’t keep doing that, it was just too much, I lost a friend due to MS, I changed countries, I came back to a town I felt I barely knew anymore, my best friend was institutionalized, I lost another person who I thought would always be there no matter what, and I just fell apart, and I started being open, saying I got this problem, (even if it was taboo in my own house) I can’t do it on my own, I NEED HELP, and then I’d hear from close friends, “it’s just a bad day”, “stop crying”, “you just need to be possitive” “suck it up”, really? don’t be a jerk! you don’t say that! I don’t see people telling cancer patients “it’s just a rough patch”, “just take some aspirin”, “are you eating alright and getting enough sleep?” “it’s cause you didn’t take enough vitamins”, just as cancer isn’t their fault and it isn’t something you can get overeasily, so are my anxiet and depression, I’m ill, and the sooner I accept it and seek help for it, the sooner I’ll start feeling better.

Did you know that mental illness is the third cause of death in the US alone? According to NIMH, 8 million people die each year on the planet due to mental illness, that’s close to 0.1% of the world’s population, did you also know that the number one dissability cause is depression? Not missing a part of your body, or a cognitive impediment, no, depression, a treatable dissease, seriously? It also takes between 8-10 years for patients to seek help and get treatment (yes, I think I’m part of that statistic). And did you know that women are more likely to seek help and treatment? What does that say about how we’re raising our boys? So if as a woman mental illness is taboo, how hard is it being open about it as a male? Why? Do we really think that mental illness makes us that weak? In my humble opinion, I think it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a fighter and a survivor, seeking help isn’t for the weak, it means you’re strong enough to know when you can’t make it on your own. Seeking help is the bravest thing a person can do.

I’ve lived with an anxiety-depression disorder for almost ten years now, I only finally got the help I needed at the beggining of this year, and guess what? I’m stronger than ever! I’m a happy person, and I’ve realized that I was just surviving and trying to get by each day, I thought the way I lived was normal, but it’s not, I’m still on my meds, and I might be for a while, but I don’t care, as long as I feel okay, that’s what matters, that’s what counts, I’m no longer ashamed of my struggles, I take my meds everyday, I work out, I eat healthy, I have my support circle, I go to therapy twice a month, I am me, I’m thrilled discovering this amazing person I am that spent ten years burried by mental illness, I feel in control of my emotions and myself, I feel happy and I’m no longer on an emotional rollercoaster and I’m learning to love myself in new ways.

Now I know that going to therapy does not make me crazy, that it makes me strong and brave; now I know that people with mental illness are all around me, and they have struggles; I know it takes courage, but it’s doable, it does get better, and now I know that not talking about it doesn’t make it go away, hiding it doesn’t make you better, au contraire, it just hurts you more, cause it’s just another source of guilt and self-loathing.

So embrace it like I have, yes, I suffer from mental illness, yes I am better now, yes I have bad days like everyone, yes I go to therapy, yes I take meds, and no, I’m not crazy, I’m not unstable, I’m not weak, and no, you can’t pity me. I am a human being with an illness, a treatable one, so don’t judge me for my struggles the same way you wouldn’t judge a cancer patient or a diabetic for their illnesses, we’re all in this together. And today I am better than I was before.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a specialist, I’m just a girl who’s gone through depression and anxiety for quite a while, who is still getting treatment and who fights her illness everyday, and who is sick of feeling ashamed of something that’s not her fault, that’s just how her brain works, and who thought she should open up about it with the hope of starting a conversation, of stopping mental illness shaming and inspiring people to seek help. Please if you feel like you might be in any danger seek professional help, reach out to people of your trust, and if all else fails reach a SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE in your area.

Daniela Soriano has a Fashion and Textile Design degree from UAA, she graduated in 2014 and has worked as a Childrenswear designer, since March 2016 she created this blog to fulfill that need to create fashion and lifestyle related content, she’s previously been a collaborator for SONY’s Kalixta platform, as well as some other blogs, but it is with JUST LIKE HEAVEN that she’s decided to make it a full time job and take it to the next level.

13 Comments

Thank you so much for being so open and real. I’m only now starting to seek help for something I’ve been suppressing since childhood. It’s been affecting me way more then I cared to admit. But I know that now I will finally find some peace, which can never be found by hiding and lying to ourselves.

I am so happy that you can deal it now. And I hope for the best for you. I have the same issue in my family my cousin suffers from depression so I try to help her with consulting and going to psihologist 🙂 she is much better now

Yeah. For me it is ok to be not ok if you understand. She also has some drama in family and random talk with someone can help a lot and I understand that so I help her a lot because I am the same age as she and her parents don’t take 20 year girl with problems with depression so serious. They are just talking how she is just being spoiled. So i understand and support you and every person that is fighting with depression. Keep walking ❤️