Denis Arndt and Mary-Louise Parker in “Heisenberg.” Written by Simon Stephens and directed by Mark Brokaw, “Heisenberg” plays through August 6, 2017, as part of Center Theatre Group’s 50th anniversary season at the Mark Taper Forum. For tickets and information, please visit CenterTheatreGroup.org or call (213) 628-2772. Media Contact: [email protected] / (213) 972-7376. Photo by Craig Schwartz.

Photo by Craig Schwartz.

Annoying, pointless and utterly dated — Simon Stephens’ play Heisenberg perpetuates not only the myth of the ‘manic pixie dream girl’ but fails to question the normalcy and acceptability of May/December romances. Neither are desirable nor relevant outlooks for the 21st century stage.

The first words out of the mouth of esteemed actor of stage and screen Mary Louise Parker are barely intelligible. Turns out the actor has affected a speech impediment for her character. Whether this character trait is scripted by playwright Stephens or is a choice of the performer, it’s an extremely poor and ill-advised one. For starters, she initially sounds as if she is mentally impaired. After a while you realize it’s probably a mere speech impediment. Nevertheless, it invokes a flawed first impression. It’s also downright annoying to listen to throughout this 75-minute one-act play.

Plot summary – from the press release:

Amidst the bustle of a crowded London train station, Georgie (Parker) spots Alex (Arndt), a much older man, and plants a kiss on his neck. This electric encounter thrusts these two strangers into a fascinating and life-changing game as “Heisenberg…”

Heisenberg ostensibly (meaning implicitly) references the “Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle” yet, disappointingly, has nothing whatsoever to do with it beyond a random encounter – the kind that, in essence, is fairly common. In it an eccentric 40-something woman (played by Mary Louise Parker) strikes up a friendship with a much older man (played by Denis Arndt), and it turns out she has her own self-serving agenda for doing so…

This is a play that is dominated by the eccentric and utterly NOT endearing qualities of its leading protagonist, Georgie. The play only comes alive – if briefly – when Arndt’s character Alex gets a word in edgewise with a brief monologue. Hooray for the respite from Georgie’s verbal diarrhea!

Aggravating in every conceivable regard — story, characters, performances, bare and minimal set, stark lighting and awful sound design — the sole redeeming feature of Heisenberg is its 75 mins run time, but even that feels too long…