Self abuse from the 1605 Etymology dictionary says that it is self-deception, a synonym for masturbation or self pollution. The American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary says it is the abuse of oneself or one's abilities.

And if that's not already agonizing, it's a never ending cycle that you habitually become dependant upon, like a drug. And like any other drug, you can never achieve the high you're looking for...Because MASTERbation will MASTER you! You enter into a contractual agreement with it and it will govern your life sexually. It will rule and control your life...it taps you on the shoulder 3 o'clock in the morning even when you don't want it. You want to stop but you can't. You cry, you repent and say you won't do it any more but you find yourself molesting yourself again...When will it ever end? I'm here to tell you that cold showers don't work and saying you won't do it anymore won't either. Because masturbation has become your MASTER. Its appetite is ferocious and it will not end until it dominates. It will live up to its definition and leave you stupefied! Its three second ecstasy will put you in a stupor and numb your faculties, your senses and sensibility...Your receptivity and emotional response. It will control your intellect, your reasoning, your judgment of things, and your own significance and leave you trapped in a mind full of warped sexual fantasies. It will overpower you, subdue and suppress you, hold you back, paralyze your forward movement and hinder you from walking in what God has for you. Is having sex with yourself even worth it?

I thought I must have been because this makes no fucking sense, as does anything else when I'm drunk. So the conclusion must be that "Dr." Ty must be a few neuro-transmitters short of a functioning brain.

Personally, I love it when MASTERbation comes a knockin' at 3 AM. It would be totally rude to turn away my guest at that time.

Even James fucked in the head Dobson isn't this goddamned fundie! Even he says masturbation is not harmful, unless it consumes your every waking moment.

One of the "doctor's"readers has the solution: "Heres a simple solution. If you already have kids or dont plan to have them. Go get your testicles surgically removed. Itll save you the hassle and the trouble of dealing with the temptation."

That seems extreme. And how could I properly enjoy all the marvelous online porn without wanking?