cooper was my first-born. he was born too early and didn't stay with me long enough. but he teaches me lessons every day. he has helped me be a better mom to mason. and a better person. this blog is a love-letter to mason, so that he will someday know what kind of impact his big brother had on his life. and on his mom's.

29 June, 2009

dear baby boy

i am 25 weeks today, little one. i have decided that instead of writing to some random person in blogspace who doesn't know me, or you, or your daddy, i will write some of my letters to you. i'm going to do that today.

today i had to go buy a dress to wear to our friend anthony's wedding. i have been so excited to be able to show off my belly in a fancy party dress. when i was pregnant with your brother, i wasn't going to be able to go to any weddings. in fact, i was going to miss two weddings because he would have been a newborn. i ended up being able to go in the end, but there was a sadness about each of the days. but anyway, you will be attending a wedding next saturday. it's going to be outside in a garden, so i think we will love it.

your little friend jonathan arrived last week. he decided to come early. not as early as his twin sisters did, or as early as your brother, thank goodness, but he was early. it made your mom a little nervous. it was a reminder that you could decide to do the same. but i am just going to keep reminding you that you are to stay in my belly as long as you can. you are due to arrive on october 12, but i am shooting for the 19th, which would keep you in there 'til week 41, which is just fine with me. i just love you swimming around there in my belly and we have the rest of forever to spend together after that.

your aunt cole has been busy planning the party that will celebrate your arrival. the party will be here at our house, which is so exciting. so many people will be here to celebrate you and me. just think of all of that positive, womanly energy here in our house. it will still be here when you arrive, waiting to snuggle you in love. your mom usually hates showers. i hate to have all of the attention on me. but this time, it's all about you and i am so excited for it. i am looking forward to everyone patting my belly, imagining that they are patting you.

your cousins, christopher and dominic, are getting more excited every day to meet you. especially christopher. he always asks questions about you...about what you are doing in there. he has talked to you a few times and i hope that you will recognize his voice when you come out. your grandmom and grandpop are looking so forward to snuggling and kissing you. grandmom usually tries to hide her excitement about anything, but she has let it slip a few times.

it's summertime and your mom is feeling hot. normally, i love to be hot and sweaty, but this summer seems like it might be a little different. the a/c still hasn't gone on because i am waiting for your dad to get the leaky cracks filled around the house. but i think dad is right -- that rule is going to hurt me worse than anyone else.

speaking of your daddy...he is so excited every day to hear about you moving around in my belly. he feels you as often as he can, although it seems like sometimes you are playing tricks on him. as soon as i tell him where to put his hands, you often stop moving. almost like you are playing hide and seek.

so now i am going to go be lazy on the couch. we will be taking our yoga class with flossie tonight. i am excited to spend that time with you.