Your wrapped baby will be no-fuss, no-muss! Child-rearing for the germophobe set made easy!

OK, this is my favorite:

“Foods come fresh–stay fresh longer–less waste.”

Derp. Really? I can’t imagine how–even in the dark ages of the 1950s–it ever seemed socially acceptable to equate babies with food. Without the cannibal allusion this ad would be retro and kitschy and kind of head-scratchingly weird thanks to the graphics but the food line elevates this to full-on WTFery. Retro-style.