The OP Trial, my nominee for 2014 Pickup Line of the Year

17 March 2014, 08:03

I am a believer that life is beautiful and that it is our responsibility to see the beauty in the fullness of life. It is this approach to life that has kept me oozing with laughter, gratitude and love when I experienced so much from my parents’ divorce, retrenchment and being dumped by what I thought as the love of my life via sms and all of these happened before I was 30, and all of you know how fragile one is before 30. With countless proof of affirmations on the blessing and beauty that is life, I have recently found sunshine in the darkness that is the OP trial; and the sunshine is that the OP trial makes for a good pick up line. Anyone who has ever tried hitting on God’s most beautiful creations will know the amount of research, plan and prayer one puts into this project, this is especially true when you truly like a girl because in this scenario, a positive outcome matters; unlike in incidents when one sometimes proposes because of boredom or just to annoy someone. Proposing a girl is such a skill that Mel Gibson and Will Smith cashed in on closing this skills gap through movies like What women want and Hitch respectively. Movies very interesting and insightful yet even after countless viewing of them, I can still with conviction say, show me a man who knows exactly what women want and I will show you a magician and liar.

The thing that makes women so difficult to approach even for genuine interest is that women always have their “you are so not going to shag me” alarm on. This alarm pretty works like the ADT alarm which treats anyone like a thief who is out to steal her heart and destroy her. As the ADT alarm goes off the moment you open the door, you are so not going to shag me alarm goes off the moment you say, hello. Look granted approaching someone for a loveship1 tender means you eventually would like to share a bed with them for pleasure but that is not always the prime objective when approaching a lady though subconsciously it is possibly on the top 5 reasons, never mind which position it is exactly in the top 5. So as no situation exists without a solution, the OP trial seems to deactivate you are so not going to shag me alarm. See the moment you say hi, and before she pepper sprays you, say “so what is your take on the OP trial”, you will have her eating out of your palm. For one, you score 35 brownie points because caring about the OP trial means you are not only obsessed with business, politics and sports which mean you are in touch with your sensitive side; two, this topic gives you platform to market yourself as a possible gentle, loving and romantic lover. You will however need to be every attentive to be able to sell yourself wisely. The OP trial gives people an opportunity to explore loveship dynamics and state their modus operandi in relationships. In listening attentively you can get key components on what lady lover wants in a lover and align yourself to her ideals in your comments, assuming that you are interested in her. So the next time you see something your heart totally wishes to explore, ask the question that will take you from Bachelor to Baby daddy, so what’s your take on the OP trial.

1-Loveship, is my made up word for a romantic relationship, I figured if Blade Nzimande can create English words, why can’t I.

Disclaimer” Please do not use my intellectual property if your intention is to break someone’s heart”

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