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Sunday, January 19, 2014

The embroidery bandwagon

Maybe I should be embarrassed that this colorful bowl full of untangled embroidery floss is my greatest accomplishment of the year so far, but I'm not. I'm just not. I mean, do you SEE how knot-free and undisgusting all that thread is?
If you want to experience a little of yesterday's journey, unwind 27 skeins of emroidery floss and mix with three balls of unrolled yarn. Add cut up scraps of fabric, felt and bias tape. Now wrap the whole cluster in long strips of velcro. Velcro, my people!!! The hook side, not the loop side. Of course. It was so scarring I couldn't bring myself to photograph it. The fear of committing a crime against humanity if I forced you to look at it was too strong.

Anyway, why am I talking about embroidery? Because Jenna, of course. She has used her magical witchcraft to woo us all into hand embroidering our way out of our respective winter funks and so here I am with too many close up pictures of thread before I actually start the project. Everyone knows that the prepping and photographing of a project is 75% of the work, so really I'm almost finished! Even though...um...I haven't started.

Ahem.

Focus! So you could use these little cards to wind your floss, which you can find at your favorite craft or hobby store,

but I'm impatient and cheap and didn't have enough cards so I done got me out some clothespins and went to work. Occasionally the upper 40% of my child army would offer their assistance, so we were finished in a mere seventy-nine hours. Give or take.

Now, Jenna has a sweet tutorial on using a transfer pen to get your pattern onto your fabric, but, you guessed it, I am cheap and lazy and didn't have the requisite supplies, so I used a fabric pen and a stencil to get the little butterfly onto the shoulder of the dress.

Okay fine. Lie. Lizzy used the pen and the stencil. Delegation, baby.

Hah! A whole post about not even starting a project! New levels of blogging foolery have been reached. I'll just call this a tutorial for sorting and storing your embroidery floss or something. Yeah. That's totally what this is.

You are way too funny! How can someone make untangling thread amusing? You did it! When you write a book about absolutely anything I plan to buy 100 copies for all my friends.Jeanette, shamelessly using son's google account

You are the blogging, female, more wholesome version of Seinfeld. A blog about nothing that everyone loves. Except you have great tips, because those clothespins of thread are awesome. They look so nice, I wouldn't even be able to use them, just leave them on display on the coffee table.