I have felt like this my ENTIRE life, I try to find things to keep my mind off of it but I can't seem to stop thinking about it lately, I have tried it secretly a few times since I was 11. I have tried counseling, meds, exercerise,...even God...nothing helps.

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there's no escaping it, I've tried to get rid of them just like all of you, they go away for a short period of, but then they come back, worse than last time! just deal with, it sucks, but your family will be happy that your alive.