The Adventures of a Single 40-Something

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Well so ol’ Ghost Boy kind of irked me enough that I decided to put him completely out of sight and out of mind. I deleted him from my Facebook friends, and, I put his phone number on my spam numbers list and I erased any trace of his presence.

A few days later, something told me to look at my spam messages, and sure enough, he had made contact. Something about “just checking in.” I responded with a very cool, aloof and brief message: “Assumed you weren’t interested.”

So he wrote back again to say he “understood that” and then started talking about how busy I was and how he had to go take care of his dad. I just ignored it because there is one simple universal truth that I have found over the years since text messaging became commonplace: nobody is too busy to send you a text message, if they really want to.

I have to wonder what his game is. Or I should say “was” because I have stuck to my guns about not responding. In my world, Ghost Boy is very much like George Washington, Christopher Columbus and Abraham Lincoln–he’s just history.

When I first met him he talked about how all the women his age were emotionally damaged and how hard it was to meet someone who had their act together. You don’t get much more together at my age than I am right now. I’m rocking my career, I have no skeletons in my closet (all skeletons are in the living room and visible to anyone who comes into my life), and I’m not emotionally damaged. I’m not bitter, I’m not angry, and I’m not looking for a man to solve my life’s problems. My son is 18 and self-sufficient. I make my own money, I own my own house, and, I can’t get pregnant. I’m a damned catch, I’m just not having any luck getting anyone else to recognize that.

That’s okay. Out of all the top 40 hits out today there is finally one for people like me. It’s called “Me, Myself and I” and it goes like this:

Oh, it’s just me, myself and ISolo ride until I dieCause I got me for life(Got me for life, yeah)Oh I don’t need a hand to holdEven when the night is coldI got that fire in my soul

So, the summer has started, I’m done with the school year and it’s time to have some fun. Just me, myself, and I!

Spread Some Magic

Today’s vocabulary word, boys and girls, is “ghosted.” This is when someone you are interested in suddenly just disappears and stops returning your texts or talking to you. I just learned this word because it happened to me.

It’s a long story that really doesn’t matter now, but I met someone “live” in a coffee shop in town a couple of weeks ago. We hit it off, he seemed to be really interested in me, he friended me on Facebook and called me. He told me how pretty he thought I was, liked my figure, etc. He picked me up from the airport when I returned from a business trip, took me to breakfast, and I thought we had a splendid time. He texted me later that afternoon. And the next day.

I asked him if he would like to come over to a cook out I was having on Friday, he said he would if he didn’t go see his father.

I never heard from him again.

Meanwhile he posted all weekend on Facebook from our town, so he apparently didn’t go see his father.

What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Doing. Wrong?????

Then I find out from someone who knows him that he’s got a reputation for being clingy and hanging around a lot when he finds someone. So let me get this straight…now even the clingy needy guys don’t want to be around me? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I really don’t. I’ve tried every dating service, and every approach and I am still batting a big fat zero.

One of my besties tells me not to give up, she’s sure there’s someone out there for me. It’s very hard to remain optimistic about that after all this time and effort. And then there’s the people who say “stop making an effort, and it will happen.” Well, I’ve tried that, too, and it doesn’t work.

I guess being alone is just what I’m destined for and I’m really okay with that. I just thought at some point I might run into someone I could go do stuff with, and at least be friends with. Can’t even seem to manage that. dat