Florida businesses prohibit toplessness

Bottomless behavior not addressed

ORLANDO,
Fla. -- In a move that would likely have economic repercussions
throughout the state, the Central Florida Tourist Bureau (CFTB) has
requested that the state legislature adopt what has become known in
Tallahassee as the “No-Shirt-No-Shoes-No-Service” bill.

The legislation would make it a misdemeanor to patronize a
restaurant or bar without "conforming to (1) one's torso being covered
with an opaque material from the top of the shoulder area to a position
defined as a line drawn around and perpendicular to the medial plane of
the torso from the top of the buttocks, and (2) footwear deemed
appropriate by weather and safety conditions." Interestingly,
the area of "the torso from the top of the buttocks" downward, was not
addressed.

The proposal for the bill may have stemmed from a recent
incident here at an International Drive fast food restaurant. According to
police reports, Charles P. Fernwacker, of Dayton, Ohio, was involved in
an altercation with an employee of the restaurant after he refused to
put on a shirt. According to Mr. Fernwacker, he was "making a statement
about the inherent beauty of the unclothed body."

Fernwacker was refused service whereupon, according to police
records, he became belligerent. The police were called, and Fernwacker
was taken into custody and charged with violating Florida civil code
R22.357.88(H), public display of an oversize girth.

In the past week a rider has been attached to the proposed bill
by Charlotte Anestell (D - Pinellas County). That provision extends
misdemeanor offense status to wearing a baseball cap "in a location on
the wearer's crown in which the shaded protection of the bill of the cap
is arranged in a position that is other than above the wearer's
proboscis." [In other words, "backwards." -- Ed.]

This amendment to the bill follows on the heels of another
incident between a Massachusetts tourist and an employee of Tattoo World
in Windermere, just this past month. In that event, William "Backwards
Bill" Sneader of Swampscott refused to remove his cap during an American Legion event
in Deland hosted by Tattoo World. He was summarily given the "ol' heave ho" from the meeting
hall there by the employee.