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Toes in the Water

In our house potty words are not necessarily curse words, but sometimes the worlds do collide. Potty words refer to parts of our body and their functions that need to be discussed for obvious reasons in the bathroom but not at the dinner table. This is an important distinction for Piper. She loves potty words and receives loads of inappropriate positive reinforcement in the form of laughs and giggles from her parental units when she uses them. We know we should grow up one of these days. We’re working on it. Until then we’re just trying to teach Piper how to compartmentalize her language. This distinction works well until she begins singing lyrics that contain potty words. Her current favorite is Zac Brown Band’s “Toes” as in got my toes in the water, ass in the sand.

Piper’s dad, who is famous for his own use of potty words, suggested the alternative toes in the water, toes in the sand. It seems a reasonable compromise and may save us yet another disparaging phone call from her preschool. It’s a ridiculous idea to Piper, though, because it violates the artistic integrity of a great song. So she has solved the potty word problem her own way. It requires quick action. Piper stands in the hallway and sings got my toes in the water. Then she sprints into the bathroom and belts out ass in the sand.