The good news: Lupita Nyong’o’s stolen Oscars gown has been found. The bad news: The fantasy world in which we imagined the Calvin Klein beauty’s 6,000 pearls were real is no longer.

TMZ became part of the story on Friday when the dress thief called one of its gossip gurus with directions to the gown’s location in a London West Hollywood bathroom. Sticky Fingers was pretty chatty, saying he entered Nyong’o’s room when the door was ajar and threw the dress off the balcony. An accomplice recovered it on the ground below. The man said he knew where the security cameras were placed in the hallway, which helped him avoid detection. None of the cameras were fixed on Nyong’o’s door.

So, why did he return the gown, anyway? The thief said he took two of its pearls to Los Angeles’s Garment District to have them appraised, but found out they were fake. The gown had been valued by outsiders as worth $150,000 to $10 million, but a Calvin Klein insider posed this question: “Did anyone ever say they were real from Calvin Klein? I always assumed everyone knew they were fake, but I guess not,” adding, “Do they really make dresses out of real jewels since Cleopatra died?”

Bet this guy’s kicking himself for passing up the $125,000 Oscars gift bag that he saw lying around.

Sunday was a big day for Lady Gaga. The singer and fiance Taylor Kinney finally took the plunge — into the icy waters of Lake Michigan, that is.

The couple joined a record 4,500 participants, including Chicago-area native Vince Vaughn, at a fundraiser for the Special Olympics. Gaga recently announced her betrothal to the shirtless Chicago Fire actor, who carried her piggy-back into the water. Special Olympics Chicago president Casey Hogan told the Associated Press that Mother Monster’s appearance was “a very nice surprise.”

Vaughn, meanwhile, sported a Chicago Blackhawks jersey — as seen on nearly everyone in attendance at the Lightning game at Amalie Arena this weekend, for shame — while he eased himself into the water. The air temperature at the time of the Polar Plunge was a mere 20 degrees, according to the National Weather Service, so this was likely less comfortable than the Ice Bucket Challenge.

First Joan Rivers, now Kelly Osbourne! Our little black-sheep-loving hearts can’t take anymore pain after hearing that Fashion Police is losing Osbourne, who is turning in her badge in the wake of the Giuliana Rancic hoopla.

“Kelly Osbourne is departing E!’s Fashion Police to pursue other opportunities, and we would like to thank her for her many contributions to the series over the past five years, during which time the show became a hit with viewers,” the network said in a statement. “Fashion Police will return, as scheduled, on Friday, March 30th at 9:00 p.m. and no decisions have been made on her replacement.”

The 30-year-old Brit threatened to leave the show after co-host Rancic said on air that Zendaya’s dreadlocks must smell of patchouli oil and weed. Zendaya is Osbourne’s friend, and, at the time, the daughter of Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne tweeted, “I DID NOT MAKE THE WEED COMENT. I DO NOT CONDONE RACISM SO AS A RSULT OF THIS IM SEREIOULSY QUESTIONONIG STAYING ON THE SHOW!”

The caps and terrible spelling prove that she really meant it.

“Kelly hasn’t been happy at the show for a while,” an insider tells Us Weekly, “and this whole situation solidified her decision to move on. It was time for her to go. She had five great years there, and the relationship she had with Joan there changed her life.”

Another source said Osbourne protested the comment during multiple takes of the post-Oscars show, but E! and Rancic deny that. Meanwhile, Billy Bush, a friend of Rancic’s, got an earful from Ozzy after he told Access Hollywood that Kelly threw Rancic under the bus.

Tweeted Ozzy, hilariously: “@BillyBush stop acting like a bitch. Act like a man. Lay off Kelly or we’ll be going to hospital to get my foot out of your ass. God Bless.”

And Sharon: “I am so proud of you. You can never be bought. You always wear your heart on your sleeve. #ProudToBeYourMum.”

Rumored replacements for Osbourne include Khloe Kardashian, who joined Osbourne and Rancic on the Oscars red carpet, and Real Housewives star NeNe Leaks. Sigh.

By now you’ve heard that Fashion Police co-host Giuliana Rancic made some racially insensitive comments about Zendaya’s flowing dreadlocks after the Oscars red carpet. But, in case you’ve had better things to do than be anywhere near the Internet for the last week, we’ll remind you that the E! personality (if you can call her that) said the K.C. Undercover actress looked like she smelled of weed and patchouli because of her hairstyle.

Zendaya responded with an open letter, writing, “To say that an 18 year old young woman with locs must smell of patchouli oil or ‘weed’ is not only a large stereotype but outrageously offensive.”

Zendaya went on to list a number of scholars, actresses, singers, and authors who rock the style and suggested Rancic educate herself before making such a judgment.

“There is already harsh criticism of African American hair in society without the help of ignorant people who choose to judge others based on the curl of their hair,” Zendaya wrote. “My wearing my hair in locs on an Oscar red carpet was to showcase them in a positive light, to remind people of color that our hair is good enough.”

Zendaya’s schooling plus the PR nightmare Rancic created for herself prompted the fashion critic to apologize publicly, first on Twitter, where she wrote that she was referring to a bohemian look, and then again on air.

“I want to say to Zendaya, and anyone else out there that I have hurt, that I am so, so sincerely sorry. This really has been a learning experience for me,” Rancic said. “I’ve learned a lot today, and this incident has taught me to be a lot more aware of clichés and stereotypes, how much damage they can do – and that I am responsible, as we all are, to not perpetuate them further.”

Maybe Giuliana was trying to channel Joan Rivers, speaking off the cuff in a quasi-mean tone. Or maybe, like an anonymous source told Us Weekly, she made the comment in three separate takes and never realized how horrible it was.

E! denies that there were multiple takes, but now an insider has told the Daily Mail the line was pre-written.

Said an unnamed source, “The joke didn’t originate with Giuliana, the jokes were written out before, as is often the case on Fashion Police.”

The script supposedly called for Rancic to add that Zendaya looked like she should be touring with the Grateful Dead, to make it clear she was being prejudice against an entirely different group. However, Kathy Griffin interrupted before she got to that.

No one complained about the comment on set, in the audience or when the show was reviewed by execs, so apparently that makes it okay.

Zendaya’s taking it all in stride like the classy lady she is, though, writing at length about the culture of prejudice and her obligation to stand up for herself and others who don’t have a voice.

Addressing Giuliana, she wrote, “I appreciate your apology and I’m glad it was a learning experience for you and for the network.”

She closed her statement with an uplifting Martin Luther King Jr. quote to remind us all to stop being such jerks to each other — only she conveyed all of this much more eloquently. #obvi

Oh, and about Kelly Osbourne, who happens to be Zendaya’s friend and Rancic’s co-host: Us Weekly reported that Osbourne objected to the comment during the taping, but the “joke” was never cut. Osbourne later tweeted that she didnt’ want to be dragged into the drama and was considering leaving the show.

Seems all has been forgiven, though, because after taking a couple days to cool off, Osbourne tweeted, “It takes a strong women to apologize & makes a forgiving women even stronger! #ThisTooShallPass.”

Mark McGrath was the unsuspecting beneficiary of the weirdest ego boost ever on Thursday after a press release circulated saying the Sugar Ray frontman had been shot dead by a masked gunman. This resulted in Twitter blowing up with touching tributes along with the hashtag #RIPMarkMcGrath.

Here’s how it all unfolded in my inbox — aren’t I special?

10:10 a.m. (which happens to be my grandmother’s favorite time): An email with the subject line “BREAKING NEWS: MARK McGRATH IS DEAD” said the 46-year-old musician was confronted by a masked gunman on the set of entertainment show Hot Package and was shot multiple times. The email claimed that McGrath died in the arms of co-host Derrick Beckle, and also weirdly requested that in lieu of flowers, fans should honor McGrath by posting a “Sugar Ray Selfie,” which is a photo of oneself “holding a packet of sugar over their heart.” The press release ended with the hashtag #RIPMARKMCGRATH.

So yeah, Twitter blew up. And then…

11:46 a.m.: “Tomorrow night on the Season 2 Premiere of Hot Package, Mark McGrath is killed by a masked gunman and dies in the arms of his co-host Derrick Beckles.

It’s important to note that Mark McGrath is alive and well in real life.”

This was followed by the show’s airtime and my anger/disbelief/annoyance with myself for caring at all because I had already Googled, but still.

5:56 p.m.: “Please be advised that Mark McGrath and his team have had no involvement in or knowledge of the media alerts sent earlier this morning.

Mr. McGrath is a guest on the show, and his death is merely a plot line in the premiere episode. PRISMATICS take full responsibility for any confusion.”

So that was rude.

As for McGrath, he apologized for the hoax, even though it wasn’t his idea, tweeting, “Final word on the death hoax thing, I knew nothing about it and found out the same time you did…sorry about any confusion.”

Many were shocked to hear the news that Victoria’s Secret model Doutzen Kroes (who first made an appearance as an “Angel” in 2008) has made the decision to leave her contract with the lingerie powerhouse. This comes to a shock to fans and industry professionals alike as fellow Victoria’s Secret angel Karlie Kloss left the line only a few days earlier leaving questions regarding what is happening behind the scenes at Victoria’s Secret. These high profile departures has people quipping ” angels never fly alone” and wondering whether or not there will be more shocking news for Victoria’s Secret in the coming days or if these are truly isolated cases of the models wanting to pursue alternative opportunities.

There is speculation that it was well known behind the scenes that these models were leaving however there hadn’t been any word of this breathed to the press until last week when the story broke about the first departure (of Karlie Kloss). It’s important to note that these models were not at the end of their respective contracts but had requested to be released from them early.

It is well known that being a Victoria’s Secret “Angel” is much more stressful and time consuming than simply being a general model for the brand but why after all of these years has veteran “angel” Doutzen Kroes want to leave now? There has been some whispers about models not being paid as much as they have been in earlier years with the company which is what supposedly is leaving to the mini exodus from Victoria’s Secret. Reports say that Kroes had actually left the line all the way back in December 2014 but are only now at the end of February 2015 getting around to disclosing this information to the public. When the marketing executives were asked why they didn’t address Kroes’ departure from the brand earlier they simply responded that it was a mistake on their behalf. So after six years of being a representative why has she left? This still has yet to be answered. The only aspect of her departure that has been disclosed from the Victoria’s Secret executive is that she is leaving to pursue better business opportunities.

While Kroes and Kloss are both departing from the line many wonder who will be the next Angel to leave if the rumours of inadequate pay turn out to be true. Angels are rumoured to be making around $100,000 for participation in the world famous Victoria’s Secret runway show and promotions. Although $100,000 may seem like a lot of money, in comparison to what other internationally acclaimed super models (of the same caliber) are making while promoting other brands, it doesn’t seem as if it’s the best financial decision for these angels not to shed their wings.

It would not be surprising to see the other angels going to the table to re-nogotiate their contracts with Victoria’s Secret executives after the departure of a veteran such as Kroes as to avoid any negative publicity surrounding the brand. Will more angels take flight? If Victoria’s Secret doesn’t pay more attention to the needs of its models they could potentially have a public relations disaster on their hands.

Man, we didn’t realize Robin Thicke was having such a hard time booking gigs.

The Blurred Lines singer performed his little heart out during his testimony in a copyright trial against Marvin Gaye’s family.

Weird, but for good reason.

According to the Los Angeles Times, Thicke sang, played piano and danced in his seat to prove that several songs sound alike, sheerly by coincidence. It was all in an effort to prove that he, Pharrell Williams and T.I. didn’t rip off Gaye’s 1977 song Got to Give It Up.

The trio pre-emptively sued Gaye’s children, seeking a ruling that Blurred Lines was not a copyright infringement. Then Gaye’s children countersued.

Most of Thicke’s testimony centered around his claim that he was drunk and high during interviews in which he said he had told Williams they should write a song like Got to Give It Up. He also reminded the courtroom that he didn’t actually co-write Blurred Lines as he had previously claimed, so it’s not his fault if the ruling comes down in the plaintiffs’ favor.

“It felt like a little white lie that wouldn’t hurt his career and boost mine,” Thicke said on the stand.

When Williams told the story of how he wrote Blurred Lines, Thicke said, “a light bulb went off” and he realized, oops, maybe I should stop taking credit for that.

During his testimony, Thicke told Richard Busch, an attorney for Gaye’s children, that he did not change his story after he heard about the copyright claim.

When questioned by his own attorney, Thicke put on a show, playing U2’s With or Without You, Michael Jackson’s Man In the Mirror and the Beatles’ Let It Be to demonstrate that many songs share the same chord progression.

My, Vin Diesel’s unborn child sure is a diva or divo; it’s because of his or her imminent arrival that the Furious 7 premiere in Abu Dhabi has been canceled, another bump in the long road (see what we did there?) to the release of the ridiculous street-racing franchise’s next installment.

The super-private Diesel and longtime love Paloma Jimenez are expecting their third child, an insider tells the Hollywood Reporter, a well-kept secret, seeing as how baby is said to be due around the same time the flick hits theaters April 3. That’s why Universal canceled the March 10 world premiere at the Emirates Palace in Abu Dhabi, where part of the film was shot: Because Diesel, the face of the franchise and one of this film’s producers, decided not to go.

“He wants to be with his family at the birth; it’s a beautiful thing,” a source tells THR. “What human being wouldn’t?”

Probably all the squeamish ones, that’s who.

The premiere is now slated for April 1 in Los Angeles. A Universal source says the studio is “happy to premiere the film in L.A., birthplace of the franchise, where a core fan base exists.” Nice punning, Universal!

Diesel and Jimenez are parents to son Vincent Sinclair, 4½, and daughter Hania Riley, 6½, whose gestations the couple also hid from everyone.