First of all, I would like to establish OUT LOUD that this
is a safe space, and more specifically, this is a safe space where we can open
up and admit that yeah, our kids are weirdos.

Even more specifically, Ezra is a weirdo. Like kind of a
weird-y weird level weirdo.

I don’t know how to describe this one particular behavior he
exhibits (and has exhibited for YEARS) without referring to the name of a
popular yet distastefully horrifying reality show on A&E, so maybe this
picture will give you an idea of what I’m dancing around:

Hey, Ezra! What have you got in your pocketses today?

20 minutes
later, I think the pile ended up being 27 tiny Lego bricks, studs, berries,
croissants, mugs, chalices, various non-Lego thingamajobs and two lint-backed pumpkin stickers
that he got around Halloween.

And every single item is a treasure.
His preciousesss. And every single item must be checked
and accounted for several times a day, until he forgets about the entire
collection completely. Which usually happens right around the time he tosses
his five-pocket cargo pants into the laundry hamper. Because by that point,
he’s moved on to a collection of slightly larger plastic sundries inside a coin
purse, empty tissue box, or Ike’s talking plastic picnic basket that no longer
contains any of the plastic picnic items, because Ezra has filled it to the
brim with even more tiny Legos,
three rubber scoops of play ice cream, a spatula, seven toy cars and a handful
of broken crayons that he deliberately fished out of the trash when I wasn’t
looking and is now guarding with his very life.

Jason just up and flat-out calls him a
hoarder. (Affectionately! I swear. It’s not like we’re finding cat carcasses in
his bed. Just all the baby books from Ike’s room, a bunch of Smurf figurines
and maybe a Happy Meal box.)

I just think the kid likes…containers.
Containers full of things. He’s like a pirate with
a very DIY aesthetic and original take on the boring-and-done treasure chest.
Gold coins? Whatever. Check out these extra stomp rockets and this roll of
packing tape! WE’RE GOING TO BE RICH.

Over
Christmas break, he stumbled across a backpack that I’d bought for him to take
on long car trips. I guess he thought I’d thrown it out or something (LIKE I DO
WITH BROKEN CRAYONS AND PROBABLY EVERYTHING ELSE HE LOVES), and was so, so
happy to see it again that he insisted on wearing it nonstop for three days
straight. At the dinner table. While playing outside. To restaurants. To bed.

So I wasn’t too surprised when school
started back up, he insisted on carrying the backpack. Now, Ezra does not NEED
a backpack at his preschool — in fact, backpacks are explicitly listed as
something the children are to leave at home. But Ezra really, REALLY wanted to
take that backpack to school, like his big brother.

So I let him take the backpack to
school. Because I have better things to do in the morning than get locked in a
battle of wills over a backpack with a four year old. Like, say, NOT getting
locked in a battle of wills over a backback with a four year old.

Over time, the backpack went from being
empty to…well, becoming yet another one of Ezra’s containers of weird. He added
a notebook and some pencils...and then some finger puppets, a sandwich cookie
cutter and the instruction booklet from our microwave.

So I realized we maybe needed to curb
the backpack habit, especially since I learned he was refusing to take it off once
he got to school. And while his teacher was completely understanding and
accommodating of the backpack, he was a little less excited about the daily
show-and-tell of broken pencils, Legos,
empty DVD cases and talking Elmo phones.

It was right around this time that I
agreed to do a sponsored blog post for Citrus
Lane, which sends out age-appropriate, monthly curated boxes of
eco-friendly baby and kid gear, toys, bath products, you name it. They sent me
a couple sample boxes. One for Ezra and one for Ike, IN THEORY. In reality,
once I opened the boxes, they were both Ezra's. All his. Because they
were...containers. Full of…things. Bath toys! Books! Fruit snacks! Monkey
dishware! Lotions and bath soaps and AHHHHHH!!!!

As I watched him paw through the
assortment of surprises, I suddenly realized that I should have boxed and
wrapped all his Christmas presents into a similar single box o' wonder.

Among the bonanza of items in our boxes
was…a Skip Hop elephant lunch bag. Ezra just about passed
out. A small…Ezra-sized…container…with a handle…for carrying…for
which to put things inside…lunch-y things…omg…

Now,
again: Ezra does not need a lunch bag. He eats a school-provided
snack mid-morning, then comes home at noon and eats lunch here.

But some kids in his class stay all
day. And these kids do indeed bring lunch bags/boxes, which they deposit into a
classroom fridge each morning as they arrive. And it turns out that more than
anything — even more than a backpack full of Monopoly pieces, miniature rubber
tires and plastic teacups — Ezra wanted to join them. To be like them.

He didn't actually care about the actually
eating lunch at school part,
but just the morning ritual of putting lunchboxes inside the refrigerator.
This is what makes you "cool," apparently, in today's modern
trend-setting with-it-happening Montessori classroom. He even tried to put his
backpack in the fridge on several occasions, and then tried to talk his teacher
into letting him at least put some random pieces of toy fruit in there instead.

In other words, this lunch bag from
Citrus Lane was the greatest gift that never would have occurred to me to buy for
him, but there it is.

(So long, Play-Doh carrying case! We are moving. On. Up.)

Ezra still doesn’t stay at school for lunch, but every morning he
packs up his lunch bag. He gets real sippy cup and fills it with water and
shovels some Cheerios into a baggie. Then he adds two ice packs and a few extra essentials.

He takes it to school and puts it in
the refrigerator, where it sits untouched (and non-distracting-like)
all day. I arrive at noon to collect him and his lunch bag (which before I took
these photos had just emerged from a vigorous cleaning after being sent down
the playground slide into a mud puddle, because it and Ezra are best pals). Then
we go home, where he dutifully unpacks everything and puts it all back in its
proper place.

He’s never been happier, the goof.

***

Want your own box of random inspiration and handy essentials for your own little weirdo? Leave a comment between now and next Wednesday and I will select a random winner for a FREE box of awesome from Citrus Lane.

"BUT I NEVER WIN." Dude, I know! Me neither! But for us, here's a coupon for 50% off your first box — that's only $12.50! TWELVE FIFTY. After that, monthly boxes of baby-, kid- and mom-approved products and toys start at just $21. Head over to citruslane.com and use coupon code AMALAH50 from now until March 6th.

Comments

From very early on, my oldest, now 7, had to have something in his hands everytime we left. He didn't seem to be into containers though. Usually a hand full of matchbox cars and a sippy. He would gladly leave them in the car...but they just had to BE there. My almost 4 year old is a container freak! When we leave the house its always a bag full of something. His favorite bag is a see through plastic container that a sheet set came in. It has a handle and he can see everything in it!!!! Major score for him. It is always a mix of plastic food, skylanders, cars and princesses. Last night I packed him a small backpack to take to his brother's baseball practice. I put his leapster in there, along with the grilled cheese sandwich I made him for dinner. I told him he had room for a few toys (because there was also tissue, wipes and hand sanitizer, duh). He promptly took out the leapster (what?) and put in 2 mini stuffed animals, then took those out, put in about 20 little people, then the dogs on top, and some cars. And ended up playing with hardly anything.

This. This is my daughter. Though, it took her a few years to get to the putting collections INTO things stage. From about 6 months to 18 months, 90% of pictures of her are her hoarding ALL OF THE THINGS in her hands at all times. (Including refusing to color with less than 3 crayons at a time.)

Now 4, she's graduated to putting her collections into various holders—bags, boxes, pockets, etc. (I must be vigilant with pre-laundry pocket checks!) She also has a little "purse" (read: old makeup bag) that she often brings out with us... the contents of which usually look nearly identical to Ezra's lunchbox up there.

I love my weirdo daughter. May it keep the boys at bay just a little longer as she grows up.

My son is the same way. His obsession is with "notes" (ie any slip of paper like gas station receipts, discarded grocery lists, and post its), batteries and BARS OF SOAP. Which started out cute and has now gotten so bad I have to hide the multi packs I buy lest they all get opened at once and placed into a now-empty chocolate covered cherries box and carted around the house. Needless to say he loves hotel stays.

Ooh, so stinking adorable! We got my daughter the Skip Hop dog back pack for the annual mom and me flight to South Carolina (she's 2.5 and been there 3 times)! I absolutely love, love it. A lunch bag would be so much fun too! Thanks for the giveaway!

"What day is it?! Is it before next Wednesday?", says the sad, time-warped brain of a stay-at-home-mom. I was the super-duper lucky winner of your kid Brita bottle (which is fabulous, btw)! If I win this, too, I'm playing the lottery!
Love Ezra's tie shirt and elephant lunch tote!

Ha, ha....I have the same kid...and we had to stop calling him hoarder because he started telling people he was one! Oops, score on the parenting for us!
And "WE NEVER WIN" is the name we gave to all those toy grabber machines that my 2 boys waste money in because duh....we never win!
Thanks for the chance!

This is hilarious. The contents of the lunchbox made me lawl, for real! I have a cousin who had lots of piles all over the house when she was little. Each pile had a doll, a pocketbook, and some other specific items. You were not allowed to touch her piles or move things around. She turned 17 yesterday, and I'm pretty sure she has grown out of the practice.

I loved this. Mine ideally has a balloon (inflated, mind you) crammed into his backpack along with those books, a half dozen stuffed animals, a box of crayons, his lip balm, his most recent pine cone finds and those bits of pipe cleaner. Obviously.

I also was having some trouble with the coupon code, AMALAH50. Here is the response I received from CitrusLane
"Thank you for contacting us, you can use BREAK10 just as you see it and it will give you a 10% discount. Also when you sign up for a subscription you will have a link that you can send to your friends and earn $10 refer a friend credits when they sign up.

I hope the information I have provided here has been helpful to you, and welcome to Citrus Lane!"

Don't think I will be purchasing anything if they don't live up to the original deal that they made.

My little weirdo is ten and she still has countless bags of ´treasure´ she is currently into keeping tiny slivers of soap in her pockets at all times!! Loved the post, am probably out of the running for the swag though as I live in Argentina!