Well, it’s a stick made of plants and ground pearls and herbs and stuff that you insert into your vagina for 2 minutes (only 2 minutes, hold onto that nugget of info) to tighten things up. For him, of course. So he’ll desire you more.

It can also reduce or eliminate vaginal discharge!

Which, for one easy payment of $39.99, will make you feel wanted again.

OK, now the medicine.

Don’t do this, okay?

Intravaginal applications to “dry” the vagina to enhance male sexual pleasure are not unknown. Sadly some women look for ways to have “dry sex” because apparently some men prefer it. They may insert herbs, pulverized rock, detergents, soap, or even commercially caustic products (yes, like bleach) into the vagina. The chemicals or trauma temporarily reduce vaginal moisture. The lack of wetness and pain from the resulting abrasions may also cause the pelvic floor to spasm during sex (not in a good way) and this will tighten the vaginal opening (which can make insertion painful). Practices that dry the vagina are known to increase the transmission of sexually transmitted infections. never mind make sex painful for the woman.

If the Japanese vaginal stick can only be inserted for 2 minutes then it is almost certainly a direct caustic effect from chemicals (that is if it has any effect, the 2 minutes thing could just be smoke and mirrors to get a good placebo response like the $39.99). But if it does have some effect on the vagina it’s like over washing your hands until they are dried and cracked and bleeding, but achieved in 2 minutes. In the vagina.

You can uncross your legs now.

Gravity always wins

Over time gravity gets all of us in many ways and so vaginas might feel a little looser and can even sag (when you look inside with a speculum) just like the scrotum does. Some of this is age + gravity and some is genetics and some (for women anyway) is childbirth. This isn’t bad and we know that vaginal prolapse (extreme stretching of the vaginal mucosa or vaginal lining) doesn’t seem to negatively affect sexual pleasure for women so efforts to tighten this tissue, even if they were safe, are a futile way to pump up your sex life. I can’t comment on saggy scrotums for men.

If your vagina feels looser during sex and this is troublesome then the best step is Kegal exercises and possibly a trip to a pelvic floor physical therapist to make sure you are doing them correctly. Stronger pelvic floor muscles can lead to better control during sex and even stronger orgasms. Rarely when the opening of the vagina has been stretched out significantly by a very large baby or a poorly healed repair after a delivery a surgery called a perineoplasty can be performed, but this just tightens the vaginal opening and it can sometimes have painful sex as a consequence.

Vaginas should be wet and they should stretch. That’s part of what makes them fun.

Yikes. Definitely sounds like a bad idea with that 2 minute warning. And I bet it’s about as Japanese as a Falafel is.

On the scrotum, well, that sags even in boyhood! By design, right? But scrotal skin overlays the dartos muscle which is what regulates how tight or loose the scrotum hangs—even into old age—so no fear, there.