Flicks: Avatar’ a fad, not a life-changing Event

Wednesday

Jan 20, 2010 at 12:01 AMJan 20, 2010 at 8:21 PM

"Avatar” won the Golden Globe for Best Drama. Whatever that means. The thing about “Avatar” is it won’t change anything about filmmaking. Some movies will be junk. Some won’t. Few, if any, will take as long or cost as much to make. Studios simply won’t take that much of a risk. Few, if any, will require new technology to animate a world.

John Meo

"Avatar” won the Golden Globe for Best Drama. Whatever that means.

The thing about “Avatar” is it won’t change anything about film making. Some movies will be junk. Some won’t.

Few, if any, will take as long or cost as much to make. Studios simply won’t take that much of a risk. Few, if any, will require new technology to animate a world.

Roger Ebert called “Avatar” an Event. And then he proceeded to gush. Ick.

Although I have thoroughly enjoyed many movies in my life, not one has elevated itself to Event status. I’ve never slept on a sidewalk for tickets. I’ve never dressed like my favorite character. I’ve never learned a new (fake) language. Besides, how do you say “Get me out of this locker” or “Please stop tugging on my underpants” in Na’vi? The Na’vi have neither lockers, nor, happily for some on the fringe, underpants.

The Associated Press reported this week a doctor blamed a Taiwanese man’s death on “over-excitement from watching the movie.” Granted, the man had a history of high blood pressure, but there you go ... death by movie.

The fact is stuff happens, and then it goes away, quickly, but sometimes not quick enough. Sure, “Avatar” will resurface when the blu-ray and DVD versions hit stores, but “Harry Potter,” the dweebs from “Twilight,” even my beloved Tony Stark, all gray and wilt and fall off the vine at some point.

And in case you’re curious: www.learnnavi.org.

Yeah, it’s real.

Also in theaters

This week we get a double dose of Paul Bettany, with “Legion,” about the Biblical death of the world, in wide release and “Creation,” about the scientific death (maybe not so much) of the Bible, in limited release.

Dwayne Johnson further sullies himself in “Tooth Fairy.” Don’t worry folks, he still has that tutu and he still lacks the dignity to refuse to wear it.

Is it just me or is Brendan Fraser swelling? He joins Keri Russell and Harrison Ford in “I’m Already Working Around the Clock!” No, wait, my editors (I don’t have editors) are telling me that’s just the one line you hear in every commercial. The movie is “Extraordinary Measures.” Ah, that’s appropriately boring.

Columnist’s note

The French for “Get me out of this locker” is “M’obtenir de ce casier.” “Please stop tugging on my underpants” is “S’il vous plaît arrêter de tirer sur mon slip,” but it was a free online translator and it/I could be wrong.

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