Qualifications For Youth Workers

As I look on at the various different means of training and accrediting Christian youth ministers in this country, I despair at how little there is to offer, and how little of that is of a high standard. And more than even that, I see how much work youth workers are already doing and how much experience they already have and yet how few formal qualifications they have gained, and I thought, here is a problem that needs fixing. And so I have. I’d like to introduce you to the new The Grove Is On Fire accreditation system. If you’ve done enough to reach the level of the badge you can claim that badge for yourself by printing it off and keeping it in the big pile of paper you have sitting on your desk that you’re meant to sort out. You can even stick it on your wall to remind your boss how talented you are, or on your updated CV when he forgets. If you get enough badges of a certain sort you can unlock certain privileges such as free coffee from your local coffee shop, a replacement phone when a young person breaks yours, or a three month extension on your first aid certificate. Here is a sample badge:

Taken the Bus

Bronze

You’ve taken a bus journey with some young people

You’ve persuaded 1 young person to put his seatbelt on

You have counted the young people onto the bus

You haven’t killed any of them by the end of it

Silver

You’ve unlocked the previous level of the award

You’ve taken 5 bus journeys with some young people

You’ve navigated at least 2 bus journeys with some young people

You’ve had to separate some young people to avoid conflict

You’ve had to authorise an emergency toilet stop

You’ve been in the bus while the heating OR air conditioning doesn’t work

Gold

You’ve unlocked the previous level of the award

You’ve taken 20 bus journeys with some young people

You’ve driven at least 5 bus journeys with some young people

You’ve had to authorise the bus turning around and driving back for someone

You’ve had to deal with a breakdown of the bus for longer than twenty-five minutes

You’ve had to clear vomit out of the bus

Over the next few weeks, months, and whenever I remember tos, we’ll be issuing new badges and announcing special achievements that’ll be sure to prove your worth to your local funders.