The Two Ends Of Love and What Lies Between, Or Is There A Between?

Love is a feeling of affection from one person towards another. While there are perhaps one thousand and one definitions for love from the human perspective, the best way to experience it is only when it is reciprocated. Love has many shades – you know those fleeting emotions that works up our feelings and heightens our interest in the other person while we are practically trying to find meaning for these feelings. Of course, real love exists but what Elyane Youssef communicates in the article Healthy Love versus Obsessive Love—& how to Get Over the Obsessive Kind shows how to identify the not so brazen difference between what love is and what it is believed to be.

Can You Answer What Love is?

Healthy love traits

The word love is loosely used these days to describe feelings of attraction, but love is more than feelings. Real, healthy love is simple and seeks to look for the other person’s good and comfort above your own. Healthy love draws its root from selflessness, open-mindedness, trust with each individuals happiness not necessarily dependent on the other person. Real love blossoms out of respect for one another and learning to go so separate ways if it fails.

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Obsessive love traits

Obsessive love is selfish and non-sacrificial. If there is any sacrifice at all, it is because of what they intend to gain later down the line. There is always no regard for the other person’s happiness and the goal is to possess the one we claim to love. It is controlling, jealous and lacks trust. Obsessive love does not like the truth; it exists in disguise and exposes both individuals involved to harm on the long run.

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Breaking away from obsession

“Give love. Receive love. Repeat.”

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Obsessive love in itself should never be described as love because it fails to live up to the billing in every way. Notwithstanding, situations leading to obsessive love can be avoided at times. You may find yourself in an unexpected loop and instead of hanging on, and pushing for the light at the end of the tunnel, which is definitely lacking in this case, it is best you break it off. Breaking it off as a matter of fact cannot be achieved easily because the relationship is a predator prey relationship. What is best is a tactical approach that appraises the situation while using the opportunity to learn what true love is all about. Learning about true love can start from identifying the things you didn’t get from your supposed lover and identifying areas you have failed. That way, you avoid leaving one obsessive relationship for another.

There is an indisputable fact. If you give love – pure, honest true love, just like you want it reciprocated you are bound to get the same. Why don’t you then give love to receive more love? The French would say encore to that.

19 Definitions Of Success You Should Never Ignore

The late Zig Ziglar was one of the most respected modern day experts on success, motivation, and leading a balanced life. In his book Born to Win!, he argues that success cannot be defined in one sentence, but instead it is comprised of many things. One could argue that the definition depends on the individual and that one size does not fit all[1].

Here are 19 different definitions of success. Not all of these will resonate with you, but chances are at least a few of them will. Use these or find inspiration here to create your own definition of success that can be applied to your unique life.

1. Success is always doing your best.

Success can be achieved when you try your best in all aspects of everything you do, even if that doesn’t lead to big results. If you’ve done your best, you should feel proud of your efforts.

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2. Success is properly setting concrete goals.

Be realistic and concrete when setting goals. Success does not come from setting abstract goals. If you know where you’re heading, that is a success in itself, even if you don’t ultimately arrive to the planned destination.

3. Success is having a place to call home.

Home is where your heart soars. You are always successful when you can call a place home. Home doesn’t have to be a specific structure. It can be a country, a city, or even a person. If you have a place you feel comfortable and safe, you’re already achieving something great.

4. Success is understanding the difference between need and want.

If you can meet your monthly obligations and fulfill your basic needs, you are successful. Being able to identify when you absolutely need something and when you can do without it often leads to financial stability and is a great way to succeed.

5. Success is believing you can.

If you believe you can, you will succeed. Self-belief doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so if you’re able to tell yourself that you can achieve the goals in your plans, you’re doing great.

6. Success is remembering to balance work with passion.

Work without passion creates undue stress and empty achievements. Focus on what excites you. If you’re happy at your job, that’s great. However, even if you aren’t, you can balance your formal job with hobbies or volunteer work you’re passionate about.

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7. Success is taking care of your needs.

Remember to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Self-care is essential if you want to have any meaningful impact on the world around you.

8. Success is learning that you sometimes have to say no.

Success only comes with a balanced life. Part of balance is learning to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you are selfish; it simply means you have priorities and know what you need to give your attention to at any given time.

9. Success is knowing your life is filled with abundance.

Love, health, friends, family…life is filled with abundance. Recognizing this is an important step to feeling grateful for all life has given you. If you can feel this, you are already experiencing success.

10. Success is understanding you cannot keep what you don’t give away.

You will only succeed if you help others succeed. Learning to give instead of always take is part of creating a world we all want to live in. When you help others, you will also create an environment where others want to help you.

11. Success is overcoming fear.

Conquering a fear makes you feel invincible. Even if it’s confronting just one small fear each week, that is certainly something to feel proud of. The bigger fears will take more time, but any work you do to overcome fear will lead to success.

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12. Success is learning something new each day.

Successful people understand that learning never stops. Take time each day to converse with someone with opposing views, read an interesting article on a topic you know little about, or watch a TED talk on new research. It doesn’t take long to learn, so get started now.

13. Success is learning that losing a few battles can help you win a war.

Successful people choose their battles wisely. When you know which battles will ultimately help you achieve your goals, you will be successful.

14. Success is loving and being loved back.

Opening your heart to others is difficult and can produce fear. Having the courage to love and accept love from others is a step toward a fulfilling life and great success.

15. Success is standing your ground when you believe in something.

Successful people never give up on things they believe with all their heart. You may hold views that many people disagree with, but if you’ve done your research and know that it’s the right belief for you, you shouldn’t let it go without a fight.

16. Success is not giving up.

Perseverance creates grit, and grit achieves success. Even if it takes years to achieve a goal, persisting is key if you want success.

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17. Success is celebrating small victories.

Anytime a goal is reached or an obstacle is overcome, take time to celebrate, even if it’s something small. All goals require smaller objectives to be achieved first, so each time you complete one, take time to appreciate the work you put into it.

18. Success is never letting a disability hold you back.

Disabilities do not define a person’s success. The body and mind will compensate. Just because you can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean you can’t do something. Do what your body and mind allow and always push yourself. That is true success.

19. Success is understanding that you control your destiny.

Your destiny is controlled by you and you alone. Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences and you’ll find that you naturally become more successful.

The Bottom Line

Success can be defined in many ways. If you are experiencing happiness, love, or adventure in this moment, you’ve already found success. Keep it up.