If there’s one thing that Arie Luyendyk Jr. has said over and over this season, it’s that he’s afraid of picking the wrong woman. And now that we’re finally at the end of his weeks-long journey to find love, it looks like his worst fears have been realized.

Even in the finale teaser, Luyendyk’s final two—Becca and Lauren—are both visibly distraught over what goes down in the episode, hinting that perhaps neither of them get their fairytale ending.

“I’m so blindsided,” sobs Becca, while Lauren admits she feels “betrayed” by the decision. Luyendyk Jr., on the other hand goes as far as calling himself a “monster” for his actions towards the women. Yikes.

While fans didn't know what went down until it aired Monday, it was clear from the beginning that this Bachelor proposal didn't go exactly as planned. And as Luyendyk Jr. admitted when we caught up with him earlier this season, falling in love with not one, but two women wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he signed up for all of this.

“Throughout this process, I tried to make sure that I left myself open enough to fall in love—and then I fell in love with two people,” he told InStyle. “It was the most difficult part of this journey. You go through all the motions during this ride and then when you have to say goodbye to someone that you love, it's extremely difficult. It was something that I always knew I’d have to do, but knowing it and doing it are two different things.”

Over the course of the season, it was easy to see that the pressure of being the Bachelor weighed heavily on Luyendyk Jr. “The enormity of the whole production really surprised me,” he said. "As a cast member on The Bachelorette, I was just one of the 25 in the house, so I was shielded from that a little bit more. You can feel more comfortable and be yourself. But when you're the Bachelor that veil is lifted. You see how many people are involved in the show and how hard they are working to make the experience happen for you."

“Yes, there are things I could’ve done differently looking back, but I think that’s natural,” he said. "Would I have said, ‘Excitement excites me' and 'I love pizza’ to Bekah M. when she asked what excites me in life? No! But now, I’m happy. This has definitely been an emotional roller coaster, but it’s also been an amazing experience.”