Triplets in Manhattan (5-Minute Inspirational Video)

Rabbi Uriel and Shevy Vigler of Chabad of the Upper East Side had 5 small children when they were shocked to discover that Shevy was pregnant with triplets. This inspirational video about what it’s like raising a big family moved me to tears. [Warning: watching this video is likely to make you want to have another baby, like, today!]

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16 comments

Did make me want a baby NOW (or better 3) haha. BUT I don’t like it how the assumption seems to be that the only reason why someone didn’t have yet another baby is because they wanted a house or a car instead. It’s a massive miracle to have a healthy baby (let alone 3!), or a baby at all, and so many people would love that but can’t, due to age, lack of spouse, health/ dangerous pregnancies, infertility. How many kids you have is not necessarily the measure of taking the mitzvah of pru urevu seriously at all (What about the couple with one baby after 10 years or 20 years of expensive excruciating medical treatment?) just like the best Ben Torah is not necessarily the most clever talented bachur but the one that tries and cares about the mitzvah. It’s just hard to see more deeply in our very image-based world.

well put…this is definitely true. But I think that for this couple, as the Chabad shluchim on the Upper East Side, they must be confronted constantly with Jews choosing not to have another child (2.2 children is plenty…and how could we cover Ivy-League tuition for more?)

I didn’t think of that at all. Yes true that makes sense. Also didn’t want to criticise the video too much. It was very inspiring and they truly seem to have fun with their kids, which was so nice to see.

It’s good to watch this and see how it makes you feel. To me it made me see that there’s no way I could have another child. My husband and I are not able to keep that inner calmness and cheer that the husband and wife in this video seem to have. Sometimes people have very valid reasons to not have that one more child, not sure this couple ever entertained that idea.

No one is competing, every child born is a whole world. No one is judging how many children people have, the problematic issue is the prevalent attitude of the world around us, which affects the way we view having children and bringing them up. The world today sees children as a burden,the Torah teaches that each child is a blessing. The world today considers acquiring wealth, fame, and power as worthy goals to pursue. Torah teaches that one should rather pursue acquiring Mitzvos, character improvement, and accepting the yoke of Heaven. Even some of the programs designed to increase good deeds and positive attitudes focus on the benefits for oneself. The point of a video like this one is not to judge anyone but to help us regain the Torah perspective.

If only it would be so easy… So many women are struggling with infertility or other challenges that prevent them from having more children easily. I feel like this video takes the ability to have another child for granted, while so many of us are at home crying, “If only I could have just. one. more.”

Not only that, but just as people who are choosing NOT to have another child should be speaking to their Rav, people who ARE choosing to have more should also be asking if it is right for them. Large families aren’t right for everyone, and no one should be made to feel less than/inadequate/inferior for not having a big family, whatever the reasons are. There is a lot of peer pressure in the frum world to have a big family, and that is the worst reason to have more kids.

Some women who have the outlook that each child is a blessing, and some women have the outlook that a big family is difficult. It was so beautiful to see the mother in this video, who was obviously happy to have grown up in a very large family, and she wanted to pass on that same joy to her children.

Having grown up in a large family, it is the norm for them. If you grew up in a smaller family (eg I have one sibling), then having a larger family (I have 4 kids) is outside of your norms. It is outside of your experience of how a home functions. The noise. The mess. The lack of personal space. The lack of 1:1 parent child time. The lack of time for self care of the mither. It makes me feel like I’m failing all my children at times, as well as myself and my husband – they aren’t getting my attention, they aren’t getting extra curricular anything, money is very tight. And there is an enormous societal pressure to keep churning them out, often at the expense of the mother’s mental health. Great for them that they can handle it, and clearly handle it well. They make it seem like it is easy. It isn’t.

Of course it is not easy, anything in life that is truly valuable will not come easily. When we say that each child is a blessing, it is because in the Torah G-d Himself designates having children as a blessing.Yes, it can be very difficult, and if a person finds that they are being taxed to the max whether physically, emotionally, or mentally,they should speak to their Rav about birth control. But when I hear the beautiful news of a 50 year old women giving birth to her first child, and then I hear the reaction of a young frum woman “how awful for that baby who will be growing up with elderly parents” there is a problem. It is certainly an upside-down world that we are living in. Poor Yitzchak!

Thankfully I’ve never heard someone say that. How disappointing. And yes absolutely 100% children are an amazing blessing! Also, I seriously doubt anyone can be as organised and as calm as this couple when they start their parenting journey (nor is it expected). They’ve obviously had practice (which comes with hard work but it’s worth it).

sadly we are not getting the real picture. seems like everything is wonderful, yes hard, but able to manage and everyone is coping. does she get overwhelmed, postpartum depression, you know the gutsy stuff, that we all experience? similar to being on shlichus we only hear about how wonderful it is, don’t hear about the difficult challenges. Perhaps the shlucha has had enough, you know real problems like most of us have. rather they are portrayed as superwomen, supermoms, super people who have no significant problems like meltdowns related to having so many kids in succession or having 50 guests for shabbos dinner all the time. don’t buy it. We are an intelligent sophisticated audience and desire real people who emote real feelings, some positive some not, and that’s ok. not a PR party pitch. sorry. I am a chabanidk of many years so speaking from experience and not just speculation

Chana, I hear you, and I understand your point. I know that you, like most of us, see many examples of expectations that didn’t eventuate, ideals that let people down, and the impossible remaining impossible in spite of all the effort and positive thinking invested by the nicest and most sincerest of people. We could justifiably become bitter cynics, or we could accept that Hashem Yisborach is running this world, and He doesn’t need us to understand His plan, but He wants us to follow His instructions with Emuna and Bitachon. To do this, we need the inspiration of hearing when things go right, we need role models to follow, we need to look at the events around us with heavenly glasses. Everyone has challenges, although not all challenges are equal. Almost 20 years ago I was diagnosed with Early-Onset Parkinson’s Disease when I was 43 and still nursing my youngest child. I have experienced other challenges in my life, too. I am sure that a positive attitude rooted in the belief that everything that happens is part of Hashem’s intricate plan, has kept me going. Of course there are other factors that are very helpful in overcoming difficulties. In the triplets video, you can see how the husband gives his wife a lot of support and help, they work together, and are both focused on the needs of their children. Some people have family support, some have community support, and some can afford a lot of hired help. However, I believe that attitude is the number 1 factor. It is also important to have a competent mentor (mashpia) to discuss things with, and to find means for inspiration, like jewishmom.com. Chana-Jenny has a knack for being open about the difficulties of being a Jewish Mom, yet helps us view them through those heavenly glasses .

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