In martial arts there are people who like to do it and there are people who like to talk about it. Chances are the more they talk the less they know, and mister you talk a lot.

There are also people who like to do both, hence the existance of Bullshido and other martial arts forums. For a guy who likes to denigrate talking about martial arts, you sure seem to be doing it on a martial arts forum.

@legomepanda, I haven't previously gotten the sense that you were an asshole, so I'm going to try to explain why people are reacting so negatively to what you said, without going all castration-y.

Originally Posted by legomepanda

I didn't miss her post, and used the word hiccup intentionally. No where did I equate rape to a hiccup.

Originally Posted by legomepanda

Having a hiccup in life, from sexual abuse or otherwise, ...

Yeah, I don't know how people could have misread you so badly. Perhaps it's because you did, in fact, equate the effect of not just rape but serial rape and sexual abuse on someone's life to "a hiccup." That is obviously to trivialize it, to treat it as if it is of no import. And now you are *defending* that comparison. So the non-apology (I'm sorry if people misread me ...) is bullshit. You trivialized it by making a fucking idiotic comparison. If you regret it, man up and apologize. If you don't, own it and live with being a morally retarded asshole.

Originally Posted by legomepanda

I will also never accuse some one who is suffering from PTSD, depression, or TBI of not manning up.

Originally Posted by legomepanda

But if you let something dominate your life to the point where it destroys your hope and ambition then it is as much a personal failure as it is poor circumstance.

As for what you will "never" do, declaring that letting a "hiccup" like the effects of sexual abuse stop one from pursuing an ambition is "a personal failure" includes telling a lot of people with PTSD to "man up" (in your phrase) and pursue their ambitions. So, once again, you are contradicting your previous post without admitting how wrong it was.

You can't have it both ways. Either you morally condemn anyone who "lets" a "hiccup" like the aftermath of a major trauma affect their pursuit of their ambitions, as you did in your first post, or you admit the first post was **** and acknowledge that the real world is complex and decent, rational people make allowances for that, that you weren't making.

People are affected differently by trauma; sometimes things happen to us that we can't control the effects of; whether one is able to overcome one's circumstances is a function of those circumstances, including aspects of one's nature that one did not choose, as well as of one's will.

And, again, you were wrong to speak of the effects of rape as a "hiccup" in someone's life. The problem isn't that someone read it wrong; it is that what you said was fucked up.

Speaking personally, it was one thing to believe in gender equality, but when called upon to practice as much there lingered an internal conflict in reconciling that ideal with garbage I've somehow accumilated over the years. Sparring with women has gradually been eating away at that conditioning, and in its stead I am left with genuine, positive experiences. It's sort of a Jita-kyoei thing.

Maybe a better title would have been "Can Men Really Handle Women in BJJ" or something. Ha.