Here's the latest in "American news is f*cking crazy!" InTouch just released the entirety of their 2011 exclusive with Stormy Daniels, the porn star who allegedly had an affair with Donald Trump - and the actress dishes some seriously funny details. The dirt that Twitter fans are appreciating the most is the president's fear and hatred of sharks:

"You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, "I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die." He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It's so strange, I know."

Strange is right. Jokesters on Twitter are definitely taking advantage of the bizarre phobia and meme-ing the news to oblivion. And for those of you who doubt the info - it's polygraph certified.

A new Oregon gas pumping law passed in June of last year is causing a stir on social media. The law, which allows people in towns of under 40,0000 to pump their own gas, is inspiring rage, confusion, and quite a bit of trolling from people in other states. Here's a selection of the best reactions to the law, inspired by a poll from a Medford Oregon CBS station. We're not sure which we enjoy more, the temper tantrums or the trolls.

It's either the weakest excuse of all time or they're the best grandparents ever, but an elderly couple was stopped in Nebraska trying to pass their gigantic haul of marijuana off as Christmas gifts. Patrick and Barbara Jiron, both in their eighties, told authorities that the weed was for gifts after being stopped for the overwhelming scent of the herb. The couple was on their way to Vermont from Northern California with a haul that was worth an estimated $336,000. Twitter had a riot over the geriatric lovers' arrest; even pro-marijuana Senator Orrin Hatch had something funny to say on the matter.