I know i haven't been updating, but my stupid foot went and broke itself so I can't really get up stairs, where the computer is so as soon as I'm not gimpy I'll type up the chapters I wrote by hand ( gasp!) and you'll be happy forever more =D

Three, Edward Cullen is the hottest vampire//human on the face of this earth...and he doesn't exist.

But only I'm allowed to say that.

Hey, I'm just following directions here...and the sad thing is they're all true except one.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read both Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times.

2) You own the above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, andyou want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyer’s web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screen name/username that sayssomething about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, you acted as amissionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had readthem.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilightis the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story (and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talkabout.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2008 forBreaking Dawn to come out, you almost cried.

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family youlike best.

(Yeah...there have been brawls over if Edward or Alice is better...but seriously, how is Edward not the best?)

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read somethingabout Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thingyou read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were avampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

(That and Werewolves stink.

Oh, and you can never be too obsessed with something)

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; peoplewho don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thoughtit was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... Ch. 114-115, Shut Up and Do the Impossible.

REMOVED. Thank you for your readership. Kept a few chapters up to explain why & share outtakes alter. Obsessed but unnoticed for over a year, she puts a plan in motion to catch the eye of the corner-office. That's her plan. Fate has another plan entirely

Not suitable for under 15, contains a lot of lemony moments with Bella & other Twilight characters. There's no actual plot, as this was all part of a bet I had with a friend. It is not to be taken as serious work. You had been warned.

Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence.

Bella Swan had big dreams that were quashed by reality. Now, a momentary indescretion may cost her the little she has. Or maybe it will be the best mistake she's ever made. Edward Cullen's life is perfect. Well, almost. Perhaps these two can help each other out in an unorthodox way.

Bella is sexually unfulfilled after four horrible encounters. She meets Edward Masen, and things begin to change. Edward is sexally insatiable and Bella has been told she's frigid. B/E/AH/AU/OOC. Rated M for a reason! Lemons to follow. Humor/Sarcasm

How do Katniss and Peeta define their relationship as winter fades into spring, Peeta battles his inner demons, and Katniss searches for inner happiness? Post-Mockingjay, pre-epilogue. M for language, romantic relationships, and violence. One-shot.

A mine collapse in Pennsylvania coal country takes the leg of the baker's son. The miner's daughter runs away. Can the passing months, weeks, days and minutes bring them back together? Everyone gets a second chance. Banner by Ro Nordmann: h t t p :/ tinyurl . com/ctw96yt delete spaces

She was nothing but a slave with no control of her life, and all she wanted to do was forget, and a certain Finnick Odair was able to help her. Written for the Down with the Capitol Authors August challenge

Parents' death left her with a new-born brother. Claiming him as hers, she heads to her father's. How’d she cope her unsaid secrets with the green-eyed jerk’s advances & unknwn lurking danger,EXB,AH,Possessiveward. Razzle Dazzle & Silent Tear Award nmnee

When Bella is late for her assigned study room, she has no choice but to share the back room with her very hot teacher from high school. Short story. Lemon. All-Human. Bella/Edward. Inspired by Jayeliwood's "Sexy Eddie Contest".

Ariadne uses her newfound knowledge of dreams to live out her most secret fantasies, while Arthur watches her from the shadows he develops feelings he can't ignore. AriadnexArthur, read and review pretty please! xx Scarlet

More Than You Think You Are: Hand Me Down. She shrugs again and that speaks so many words that she won't be able to verbalize. But she tries anyway, "Who can like a girl whose own father won't meet them for dinner once a week."

She can deal with the glares Puck sends her in the hallways when she holds Sam's hand tight, she can deal with the jeers and gestures she gets from the guys on the football team, Karofsky and Azimio often shouting that she could warm their beds anytime.

Bella Swan was a nice, shy girl who knew a lot about wine. She never knew that her passion for the red, white and bubbly would help her to meet the man of her dreams. One shot... lemon... all that good stuff.

Given Arthur and Ariadne isn't their romance just a logical progression? Missing Scenes/ Training Sessions/ and a little insight into the Hotel during the Fischer Job then post-Fischer life. Connecting One Shots read one or all

"...As I watch the strong lines of his arms and the way they steadily hold that brush to create beautiful things, my stomach churns with acidic butterflies, and I think, real or not real?" Katniss embraces being the girl on fire at last. Pre-Epi. M.

Ariadne sat down on the armchair sinking into the soft leather and wrapping the blanket around her that was draped over the armrest. "I could stay like this for the rest of the day." She sighed. "Budge, honey." He sat down next to her. / LAST CHAPTER UP!

Ariadne thought it was ridiculous, they weren't siblings, they didn't look anything alike! Arthur finally realized what that feeling was, the one he couldn't place before...oneshot, too cheesy to be allowed.

This story was written before MJ and is now AU. Madge and Gale haven't seen in each other a very long time. Sparks fly as Gale and Madge are both in District 13 at the same time for the first time in a year! WARNING for spoilers and content!

Ariadne has a recurring dream that she just can't solve, so she ends up asking Arthur for help. It turns out Dom had been right about ideas, but he failed to mention the kind that are less spectacular and more emotional. Ariadne/Arthur.

What happens when Katniss accidentaly changes the channel when her and Peeta are watching TV. Set right after the end of MockingJay, don't read if you haven't finished the last book! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! It is a bit OOC.

Edward makes a bet with Bella's ex, James, that he can bed her. Bella learns of the bet through a friend and decides to string Edward along for a bit and subsequently land herself a hot date for her friend's wedding. Things soon get very interesting...

She gaped at him, taking in his slicked back hair and three piece suit, jacket thrown over his shoulder, the sleeves of his crisp white dress shirt rolled meticulously up to his elbows and his tie loosened just a little.

SPOILERS FOR MOCKINGJAY CONTAINED. Not major spoilers - just spoilers. This is basically just an angsty little drabble/one-shot type thing from Gale's point of view. Pretty sad. Pretty depressing. Reviews are totally awesome. Madge/Gale

Peeta's point of view of what should have happened that last night before the quell. Be aware this is a one shot for 'Catching Fire' and does hint towards a spoiler so you may not want to read it if you haven't read 'Catching Fire'.

Bella learns to deal with rejection the hard way by having to watch the man she loves marry her best friend. Who better to help her out than the provocative best man, Edward Cullen? "Your feelings for me are there, Bella, you're just ignoring them." E/B

So I kind of told my extremely sexy co-worker I hated his guts. And then I kind of made out with him at an office party when I got drunk. And I've kind of been trying to hide from him at work under my boss's desk. Um. AH, BxE. EDITED JUNE 2010

Finn had never been so good with words, but suddenly, he was pulling toward an entirely different destination, using all the words he could muster to pray that he wouldn't mess this up. A hopelessly fluffy Finchel one-shot!

Its two in the morning - do you know where your famous actor/live in BF/daddy of your child is? Well you should seeing as the reason he's out and about is to retreave the ellusive chip: the doritos. Freakin' preggo cravings. -- Future Cammy, COMPLETE

Bella, suffering from an eating disorder, returns to Forks to care for her estranged father. She seeks comfort in Edward, an aspiring chef, who is having difficulty dealing with his own demons. AH, AU, OOC, B/E

Bella and Edward have grown up hating each other, much to the frustration of their parents. But when they are thrown together in a traumatic event, can they put aside their differences to survive and maybe even fall in love. E/B AU AH Lemons,Lang,Dark Th

Summary: Bella has always joked about marrying Alice’s much younger brother so she could be a part of her best friend’s family, but now he’s all grown up and hot. Bella tries to control the burn for him, but it quickly becomes a raging fire. ExB AH

Rose, Alice, and Bella work in the hospital ER. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett are firefighters who are brought to the ER one night when the girls are working. Sparks ignite. But will the flame remain when their love is tested? AH OOC Canon pairings

1 year before Panem had ever heard of Katniss Everdeen, a District 4 girl named Mesi Smith started out wanting some fast cash and ended up falling in love. But, of course, like every good heroine, she refused to believe that...

Bella Swan would like to think she truly hates Edward Cullen. Of course, that's what makes sex with him so damn fun. E/B, All Human, AU. Rated a hard M for Lemons. Complete. NEW: An outtake auctioned off in support of Haiti!

Set after Sectionals. After getting advice from Miss Pillsbury, Rachel begins to write her pent up thoughts down in a notebook...unaware of the consequences that may occur if a certain someone reads it..

He's gorgeous. Charming and well-bred and the boy everyone wants. And all the girls know it. Serena knew him before he was NateArchibald! She likes that she's one of the only ones. But she loves him and she wants him for herself. Nate/Serena Oneshot

AH. Everyone has secrets, and Bella Swan is no different. For months she's kept quiet, but the arrival of blunt Edward Cullen forces her to come clean with terrifying consequences. Secrets push friends away, but can honesty bring them back? Complete.

Pam's with Roy but things are less than perfect between them. Jim loves her and knows she doesn't belong with Roy. He'll find a way to save her, and show her she deserves to be loved. Warning: some abuse

Bella's daughter makes a new friend in playgroup and they instantly become best friends. When Bella meets the new girl's father,sparks fly but will Bella embrace the relationship with the sexy, green eyed doctor? Of course she will he's gorgeous!ExB human

This was her apology for not seeing what was right in front of her the entire time; this was her way of saying she loved him. This was her last goodbye. Catching Fire SPOILERS. PxK. Lemon-esque. One-shot.

Annie is the one girl that Finnick truly cares about. The crazy victor from District 4 who was never the same after she won the games. What happened when they met? How did their story begin? FinnickxAnnie A oneshot. Spoilers for Catching Fire

And you thought libraries were just for studying...Bella, resident cool girl librarian, meets a dazzling law student, Edward while working at the university library. Will she help him find what he needs, what he wants? Lots of lemons!

“Aww but I like Eddie it’s much cuter. But then again Edward is sexier.” She was now standing in front of my desk her finger tracing circles on my chest aimlessly. If my heart could beat I’m sure it would be beating at a ridiculous speed."

Casey is not a shy person . . . but Sammy - Sammy can make him nervous, weak in the knees. Everytime he feels like he's got it right, they miss each other, if only by an inch. Will it take only one more try? --SxC; Potential Spoilers for the new book!--

Convinced by his mom to try online dating, Edward goes into it with little enthusiasm. After several misadventures and never believing he could find love on the internet, will everything he once believed in change when he meets Bella Swan? ALL HUMAN.

All Human: Edward and Rose are Bf/Gf, as are Jasper and Bella, and Emmett and Alice. They are all best friends, and living in the same building. College ends, and they decide to celebrate. What happens when they wake up in eachother's bed's? EXB EMXR JXA

“Bella,” I breathed into the phone. I stiffened immediately, astonished by the sound of my voice. Her name burnt my throat as I spoke it; as if it had been trying to wrangle it’s way back into the depths of my mind.

This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!

In anticipation for the end of the saga, we all pictured how the wonderful world created by stephanie Meyer, but what nobody anticipated was nonexistance... '…really didn’t…exist. He…he…was never there...' Written before the release of Breaking Dawn

Edward Cullen is your average high school geek, the complete opposite from the popular Bella Swan and her friends Alice and Rosalie. Will Bella become the down-to-earth girl she had once been after Edward decides to change? All human

I was coming to show you I was still alive. As I screamed out to you, begging you to stop, I could only wish that you would at least grant me one smile. That you would at least pretend, just for a while, that you were happy to see me. ONE-SHOT

I couldn’t not think of you. But I had to try my hardest, as each time I pictured any part of you, I felt a blade slice through my cold, silent heart and cut off a little piece. Already, i felt my heart was in a million pieces. 'Hate Me - Blue October'

Two years after the envents of Learning to Live. Follows the evolution of Bella and Edward's relationship as they deal with college, work, and life. Usual pairings, and ALL HUMAN. Third part of Camp Wilderness and Learning to Live. Read those first.

Bella has never had a boyfriend thanks to her protective brother Emmett. Edward has never found someone he could be with. What happens when they both become camp counselors for a summer. ALL HUMAN and Normal Pairings

Edward and Bella have been friends since they were toddlers. When they grow older, will their friendship become something more? Stories from when they were little, through teen and adult years. Modern day. T for later chapters.

Bella feels both strangely attracted to and repulsed by the standoffish boy who sits next to her in English. She and her best friend, Alice, are looking for love, and they refuse to settle for anything less. ExB, JxA. A modern 'Pride and Prejudice.'

Bella notices the gaps in her floor, and falls trying to cover them up. She stumbles on memories that make her see even less point in living, and tries to stop existing without him. Slightly AU. Takes place in October, after Edward leaves. Please R&R.

OOC! Bella and Edward have been friends ever since they were six years old. What happens when Edward needs a fake girlfriend and Bella is his only choice? Will Bella find feelings she never had for Edward or will there relationship fall apart?

It is Post Breaking Dawn, and Bella is changed, and married to Edward. Charlie finds out that Bella is a vampire, but no one believes him. They take him to the hospital and put him under the care of the skilled Dr. Dover! Fun ensues :

This is my version of the wedding starring then minister, Emmett Cullen. With Emmett in charge, you know that humor will be involved. How does Emmett handle this important job? Will he behave? Or will Bella and Edward kill him? ONESHOT of SILLINESS.

AU. All Human. Bella has never had an easy life. When she meets Edward Cullen, everything becomes so much more complicated. Can they overcome the obstacles? Or will fate intervene? All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Rated 'M' for sexual content.

Someone Tells Charlie that bella and Edward did a little somthin somthin, Bella intends to get even... will it go well? t 4 language. ExB, but Jake tries to change that...which only causes him physical pain, and bella, almost loses her life.

‘Perhaps there’d be someone who could help her adjust to her new life in Jacksonville without any of her friends from Phoenix.’ Perhaps that someone just happens to be her incredibly attractive neighbor. AU, all human, ExB.

SongFic. You're beautiful, you're beautiful it's true. Edward sees a beautiful woman at the train station one morning, the only problem is that she is with another man. Song Property of James Blunt. Complete.

Bella Swan is used to seeing her best friend, Edward Masen hook up with a lot of girls. She never minds though. What if Edward starts having feelings for Bella? Will she fall head over heels too or will she just want to stay friends? Very OOC.

All human. Edward, the ghost of the school, has seen her from afar, but has never approached. He and Bella have come to an unspoken agreement:don't talk to me and I won't talk to you.Hate. With one night together, Bella becomes pregnant. What will happen?

The Wedding In Breaking Dawn. Only one will live after this story. Who will it be, Edward or Jacob? What will happen when Jacob loses it just like Sam. Will Bella become a vampire? I wrote this because I'm still deciding on what to write in Txting U Luv 2

Bella and Edward are best friends. She loves him but is afraid to tell him, he suddenly catches the flu and is in the hospital. When he is in a coma like state Bella tells him how she feels. When he wakes up will he reciprocates her feelings? All human

ONESHOT - Sammy promises to go to the movies with Marissa and her new bf. Marissa has the bright idea that someone will need to keep Sammy company during the movie and asks Casey along. The group never makes it to the movies though. XX dramatic&sweet XX

Somewhere in Forks, Washington, a petite brunette crumples to the forest floor. He knows that she wants him to stay, and he dearly wants to, but if he stays, he knows that he would only be hurting her more. It would be best if he just left. BellaEdward.

Charlie's POV in a moment of Bella's zombie-like months. No one ever thinks about the things Charlie saw, the things he dealt with...so let's get to know the man of little words that still cares so much about Bella. Review please! One-shot. REVISED.

When you live forever, what does time matter? I used to believe that soon I would not have to worry about time either, not at all. I had that option. living forever with the one you loved, The one who left you to live a human life... Disclaimer:NotMine.

Edward Cullen has always been the nerdy boy with over sized glasses. He's been in love with Bella Swan ever since he first laid eyes on her. When Alice decides to give him a makeover, everyone in school seems to notice him, but does Bella notice him? OOC

Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY

Jessica and Lauren threaten Bella to break up with Edward and tell her that she's not worthy. Alice and Rosalie decide to take matters in their own hands. Knowing Alice, this can only lead to a makeover, shopping, and two furious girls- Jessica and Lauren

These two exes want to hate each other. But that's rather hard when in actuality...you love them. Add in all that casual sex and it's near impossible. They're tired of pretending. BxE, AU, all human, one-shot. PLEASE review, not just favorite.

Newly single Bella decides to give up on finding a relationship. Only to meet Edward. Edward is sick of meeting women that just want to sleep with him, and is looking for a serious relationship. What happens when there paths cross? All humans, normal pair

Edward was gone, Bella no longer feels anything anymore, and as she sets her eyes upon a knife, she realizes she wants to be free again. The Cullens come to her funeral to pay their respects when they stumble upon a lost soul. Edward x Bella, Oneshot

Edward goes to a small, unpopular coffee shop every day at exactly 8:30 A.M. He is always served by the same girl and sits down in the same spot in the corner armchair. He loves that little shop. But is it really the shop he loves, or the girl? All Human

During New Moon, Bella had found another outlet for her pain. Now Edward's back, and he sees firsthand what that was. It's OC for Bella to do, but it's fan fiction. Cutting warning. Content may be disturbing to some viewers. Review please! One-shot.

Jessica decides to make a play for Edward. Thanks to Jasper, the way she behaves surprises even her. For eternitys charm's fanfic challenge. Challenge Topic: Jessica Stanley, flirting with Edward... Genre: Romance or Humor, or both.

-:-1895 England-:-Edward Cullen has always been a ladies man, but after seeing his late father's will, he must choose a bride before his eighteenth birthday otherwise his betrothal to the heinous Duchess of West Essex will be activated.-:-AU-:-

Bella and her mother had always been abused by Charlie. After Charlie kills Renee all of his anger is focused on Bella. Then the Cullens arrive and Bella and Edward fall in love. But what happens when she tells on Charlie and the Cullens take her in? R&R

Oneshot! What would have happened if Bella hadn't gotten better after Chapter 3 of New Moon? Isabella Swan is diagnosed as clinically insane, such a sad fate for such a poor girl who can't find the 'Edward' she's always screaming for? PREQUEL TO HAVEN

Through the wonderful use of Myspace, Bella, living in Florida and Edward, living in Forks, become the best of friends. Once she moves to Forks things change and Bella knows her life will never be the same. Feelgood romantic story. ALL HUMAN.

ONE SHOT: Bella lies on her death bed at 91. Edward never came back. Songfic on her last wish. Tearful and emotional, I've been told. What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie. BellaxEdward . EdwardxBella

Cornelia...you are the single most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. You're also the bossiest and the most stubborn, but for some reason...why are you looking at me like? Cute CxC oneshot, phear the fluff!

Me,under a different name, and some of my freind's,under different names, kill Jacob! Yay! i promised you a story with a blender and this is it! REVIEW! I will not take resposibility for horrible blender nightmares.

EdwardBella Oneshot rated K to be safe. It was inevitable. Everyone knew this day would come, it was a bitter sweet love, that only brought tragedy. A strong contrast of pale unreal skin to colored glowing skin could be seen.

All of a sudden, Edward Anthony Cullen appeared leaning against the door way with a smirk. “What are you doing love?”Isabella Marie Cullen stared back at her lover with eyes of topaz and smiled softly, “Oh nothing…just picking up the pieces."

I wander through the now dense Forks woods. I try to remember the last time I lay here with you. The last time i touched your face and tasted your tears. Come back, Bella. Come Back from Heaven and take me with you. Save me, Bella, because I'm dying.

Ginny has been forced to marry Draco, but her heart still belongs to Harry. Will she ever break free from this unwanted marriage? Will Harry help her? Join them on their odyssey through despair and hope, faith and love, amidst Voldemort's machinations.

All human. Edward's the BMOC, star of the football team. Bella's the typical small town daddy's girl. Watch how their story unfolds through the time of their lives, high school. Based on All-American Girl by Carrie Underwood.