Breaking the technology addiction

The essayist Thomas Merton said: "Happiness is not a matter of intensity .... but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony."

Recent studies have shown that most Americans spend more than 10 hours a day checking/sending emails, texting, tweeting, surfing the web, talking on the phone or doing several of these at one time.

A bit much?

Think about it. Do we ever have time for our private thoughts? Solitude has been demonstrated to be beneficial in how we process our lives, feelings, relationships, goals, hopes and dreams. How about time for our most valuable investments - our relationships with our spouses, our children and our friends?

So, too much technology? Or not?

There are two sides to the debate on our dependency on technology. While it has greatly enhanced our lives, it might also be running our lives.

I own a Smart Phone and I admit that I enjoy texting my adult children. As a therapist, I am aware, however, that these connections help us to stay in touch, but they are no substitute for real connections.

Technology is here to stay. But do we have a healthy balance? Are we as linked in with our family and ourselves as we are with our devices and "friends?"

Articles and research abound with evidence of overuse.

In the February issue of the Guardian, Biz Stone, co-founder and creative director of Twitter advised users to avoid tweeting for hours at a time, saying that extensive tweeting "sounds unhealthy."

Even on the Internet, several websites refer to an article titled "Get Unplugged: A Technology Sabbath," that advised people to take day-long breaks from technology to avoid becoming addicted.

A study from the University of Pittsburgh reports that, on average, students read 2.6 text messages while in class. Those students send another 2.4 texts while in class. In this study, professors quizzed exiting students and found that students who did not text had more self control. As well, the students who had not texted had better attention spans and got better grades than those who texted.

Are we valuing the instant gratification of a text more than learning social skills or having emotional intelligence - two traits correlated with a successful life?

Genieve Bell, head of interaction research at Intel Labs says, "We haven't yet worked out for ourselves, our families, communities, and societies what all of the right kind of behaviors and expectations will be" regarding the use of technology.

While there is no turning back the clock, there does seems to be an imbalance when husband and wife text each other from opposite ends of the house. We can learn to take charge of technology instead of it taking charge of us. Here are some ways to start:

-Meditate.
-Take an unwired vacation or check devices briefly, then turn them off.
-Engage in free play this summer. Chase butterflies and fireflies for fun.
-Have conversations with family and friends - face to face.
-Attend outdoor concerts with phones off.
-Talk to co workers in person.
-Think through a problem - all by yourself.

Susan Hartman Brenizer, M.A., LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist in DeWitt.