Bart's Personal Blog

Bart's Personal Blog

13 Problems Only Melbournians Can Relate To

It’s a great city, and each city has it’s own uniqueness. Here are some that I’ve observed over the course of living there in the past:

Problematic Myki System
Everywhere in the world has their own public transportation means and for Melbourne, they have the Myki system. But unlike other countries it seems to cause more chaos and problems to commuters in Melbourne. The Myki system is a travel smartcard that is reusable. It should be useful and efficient in any event, no? But its scanner doesn’t function well, causing longer queues. Also, only few stops have smartcards available.

No Starbucks in the City
Melbournians love coffee so much that you will never see anyone drinking Starbucks. People here choose their local coffee shops.

Slow Trams
If you aren’t really in a hurry, you can opt for the City Circle Tram. It has the longest urban tramway with 250 kilometres of track and 25 routes in total. But take note, it’s bloody slow.

Multicultural
Notice the wide range of cuisine Melbourne offers? This is due to the multicultural population the city has. Only a slight majority of people living here are pure Aussies whereas the rest are mostly Vietnamese, Chinese, Indian, Greeks and British.

You can actually explore the laneways
You can actually enjoy and explore Melbourne’s laneways unlike other cities. There are various cafes and bars, boutiques. The city is also known to cater different street murals from time to time. The best and most well-known laneways are Tattersalls Lane, Hosier Lane, Duckboard Lane and the AC/DC Lane.

Crazy weather
It sounds like a myth when they say Melbourne experiences four seasons. Winter crashes in on summery days, and when it gets really hot, you experience heat waves and unfortunate bush fires. Also, bring an umbrella at all times in Melbourne.

North and South side
The North and South separates Melbourne with the Yarra River. The northern part is composed of artsy folks – be it in North Melbourne, Fitzroy, Carlton, Collingwood, Abbotsford, Thornbury, Brunswick and Coburg. On the south side you can typically find footballers.

How to pronounce suburb names
It is not easy to get the pronunciation of suburb names right even amongst Melbournians. So no pressure there. Still, you should at least know the basics: Melbourne reads as mel-buhn or Mel-ben not Mel-borne and Prahran is Per-ran.

AFL is a religion
One of the most celebrated activities in Melbourne is the Australian Football League. Every year, final games held at the Melbourne Cricket Ground is considered a public holiday.

Hook Turn
Melbourne hosts terrifying hook turns. It is implemented in the city to free intersections of cars so that trams can freely use the road. The hook turn involves right hand turns from the left hand lane.

Ghost Town in Harbour Town
The Harbour Side in Docklands has been declared a Ghost Time since the beginning of time. It’s disastrous project, and now a $150 million budget has been allocated to transform it into District Docklands.

Melbourne hosts many events
The city is packed with many events from time to time. From small stores and restaurant openings to big concerts and game tournaments, Melbourne never really has any vacant spots in its calendar. Look out for the Australian Open and Melbourne Cup Carnival.

Reading Parking Signs
Parking signs of Melbourne are made to deceive. They have conflicting instructions and signs that make parking a horrible experience to many newcomers in the city. An advice is to find another space if you aren’t really sure what a particular sign means. Fine rates are high, so stay wary!