Breaking! President Reassures Nation Economic Crisis Is Nearing Its Climax

This just in from CNN.com: In an address at a manufacturing company in Chantilly, VA, President Bush—who rarely fails to shoot from the hip—has reassured a panicky population that, despite the fact that Wall Street has spent its load on bogus mortgages, the growing crisis and stiff economic times ahead are something that will eventually blow over. He then paused solemnly, and added, "Not the tip! It gets really sensitive."