Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have invented a robot whose mission is to deliver snacks. Is that really the problem here in America? Are we getting too much exercise walking to the fridge?

How about a robot that delivers exercise equipment? Why don’t they try that?

The FDA has announced plans to clamp down on food labeling that may mislead consumers into thinking food is more nutritious than it really is. Is that going to work? Are Americans going to change their eating habits by reading that? "Oh look at the label Honey; turns out these chocolate doughnuts aren’t as nutritious as I thought they were.”

Under the new guidelines issued by the Obama administration, federal agents won't pursue pot-smoking patients in states that allow medical marijuana. This new policy is called "Don't ask, don't . . . What was I talking about?"

Rerun

Rerun

Rerun

Rerun

The “balloon boy” saga continues. Authorities have not yet charged the Heenes, but they expect charges to be filed next week. The father’s helium tanks were actually repossessed; I guess they don’t want him flying away before he is arrested.

This is a disturbing trend: celebrity death hoaxes on Twitter. Yesterday Kanye West was rumored to be killed in a car accident. Today, Kanye, announced that he’s not dead. He just wishes he was.

The “Today” show had an update on another guy who wishes he were dead: convicted swindler Bernie Madoff. The report said, “He shares a cell with a convicted drug offender, and he eats pizza cooked by a child molester.” They do make the best pizzas . . .