How Do You Think?

Adversity – Had Enough?

Nov 5, 2010

I have long suspected that a certain amount of adversity in life ultimately leads to greater degrees of happiness. This is contrary to the commonly held notion that suggests that traumatic stress is inherently harmful. It can be argued, as Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” I’m in sync with Nietzsche here: hard times build resilience and help one appreciate the better times with deeper enthusiasm. A recent Scientific American Podcast indicated that I might just be right. In Adversity Is Linked to Life Satisfaction, Christie Nicholson reviews the results of a multiyear study by Mark Seery, Alison Holman, and Roxane Cohen Silver that was just published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Using a national survey panel consisting of 2,398 subjects who were assessed on multiple occasions over a four year period, the authors tested for “…relationships between lifetime adversity and a variety of longitudinal measures of mental health and well-being: global distress, functional impairment, posttraumatic stress symptoms, and life satisfaction.” In their analysis of the data they found that:

“people with a history of some lifetime adversity reported better mental health and well-being outcomes than not only people with a high history of adversity but also than people with no history of adversity.”

For the purposes of this study adversity included: “own illness or injury, loved one’s illness or injury, violence (e.g., physical assault, forced sexual relations), bereavement (e.g., parent’s death), social/environmental stress (e.g., serious financial difficulties, lived in dangerous housing); relationship stress (e.g., parents’ divorce); and disaster (e.g., major fire, flood, earthquake, or other community disaster).” It is important to note that adverse events were measured using a frequency count rather than any qualitative analysis of degree of adversity.

The implications one might draw from these findings is that without at least some adversity, individuals do not learn through experience how to manage stress; therefore, “the toughness and mastery they might otherwise generate remains undeveloped.” Overwhelming levels of adversity, are more likely to exceed one’s capacity to manage stress, and thereby impede toughness and mastery. The authors are careful to note that these data are correlative and as such do not establish causation, but they contend that moderate exposure to lifetime adversity may contribute to the development of resilience.

So, it seems, as Nicholson notes:

“… there’s a sweet spot, where a certain amount of struggle is good and produces a toughness and sense of control over one’s life, but anything above or below that amount is correlated with the inverse: Distress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed.”

You might ask “Where is this Goldilocks Zone?” At what quantity does adversity benefit one’s life perspective and where does it cross a line? Seery et al., acknowledged that it is impossible to pin point the exact parameters of such a sweet spot, but that the data suggests that around two to four adverse events may sufficiently enhance one’s capacity to sustain happiness and tolerate stress. However, and this is important to note, They do not recommend engineering disasters for those who have been “fortunate” enough to escape adversity.

This research reminded me of a story by an unknown author that my mother sent me a few years back. I’m guessing that it has made the rounds on the internet. Regardless, and despite the melodrama, it seems relevant here. What is cogent here is the notion of just enough.

I Wish You Enough

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door,he said to his daughter,

“I love you, I wish you enough.”

She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”

They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?”

“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.

So I knew what this man was experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and
the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.

“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’
May I ask what that means?” He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.”

He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. “When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”

I don’t suppose that it is a reach to suggest that exposure to small inconveniences such as rain or pain will likewise help you be more appreciative of sunshine and comfort. After all, we as humans tend to quickly habituate to smooth roads. Without a few potholes, we tend to take unbroken roads for granted. But, the adversity study is suggesting more than this. Its about developing resilience or reparative mechanisms that help us cope with future stressors. This is referred to as adversarial growth, of which, I wish you enough.

References:

Nicholson, C. (2010). Adversity Is Linked to Life Satisfaction. Scientific American Podcast.http://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode.cfm?id=adversity-is-linked-to-life-satista-10-10-16

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