Really Strange Signs Of Times

July 13, 1989|By Jon Margolis, Chicago Tribune.

ANAHEIM — Under the heading of ``Is this a Weird World, or What?`` we offer the following:

Crowded skies-One of these days, they are going to have to establish an air-traffic control station at major sports events. There were so many small planes pulling banners over Anaheim Stadium during the All-Star Game that a midair collision was a distinct possibility.

In addition to the usual advertisements for beer, wine, soda and a radio station, one plane pulled a sign wishing happy birthday to someone known as

``Sugarbutt Bill,`` and another proposed marriage to a woman named Zarina.

Regrettably, from people who have no sense of distinctions, there was one religious message and one political point, from the airborne sign reminding that ``The Chinese don`t have a 2d Amendment,`` as though students armed with hunting rifles could have held off the tanks and troops of an army.

Regional rivalries-There isn`t much southern California solidarity. California Angels fans who dominated the crowd at the game love nothing better than hating the Dodgers from nearby but disliked Los Angeles. Every Dodger introduced, even all-American boy Orel Hershiser, got roundly booed, as did ex-Dodgers Steve Sax and Pedro Guerrero.

But there were cheers for Don Drysdale, the great Dodger pitcher of the 1950s and 1960s, when he was introduced as the National League`s honorary captain, indicating that even in southern California, time heals mosts wounds. Patriotism-Is anybody else offended by having the words to the Star Spangled Banner flashed on electronic scoreboards? Shouldn`t there be an assumption that anyone old enough to read knows the words?

International patriotism-With two Canadian major-league clubs, two national anthems have to be sung before the All-Star Game. That`s okay, especially because ``O Canada`` is a nice tune. But what will happen if Mexico City ever gets a franchise?

Cross-cultural pollination-The All-Stars stayed in the same hotel here as the delegates to an international convention of the La Leche League, which promotes breast-feeding.

So far as is known, there was no communication between the two groups, but it did serve as a reminder of the time that the Yankees stayed in the same Milwaukee hotel as the delegates to a Wisconsin Democratic convention.

Back then, someone had the idea of getting manager Billy Martin, coach Yogi Berra, pitcher Goose Gossage and some of the other players to attend the meeting of the convention`s gay and lesbian caucus, just to see how the two groups would react to one another. Unfortunately or otherwise, this potentially interesting sociological experiment never got past the talking stage.

You`ve got to be kidding-While on that subject, whatever possessed George Brett to use an interview in a sleazy magazine to deny being a homosexual?

George Brett? Was it so long ago that a man could be a 35-year-old bachelor without prompting such rumors? No, it wasn`t. It`s just that things got too peculiar too fast.

Up close and too personal-In general, we know too much about the personal problems of too many athletes. Neither Washington Redskins quarterback Doug Williams nor Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield is enough of a folk hero for anyone to care about their marital or, in Winfield`s case, nonmarital troubles. Even somewhat famous people ought to be able to resolve these matters with some semblance of privacy.

Trade secrets-First, a small correction. It was in 1957 that Cincinnati fans elected seven of their Reds to the NL All-Star team, not 1956 as you may have read here the other day.

Mistakes in the sports pages are particularly inexcusable, because one of the little-noted aspects of sports journalism is that one need not take notes. That`s done for you, via computer printouts passed out during major events.

For instance, if you want to know what happened in the top of the third inning at the All-Star Game, here it is: ``Gwynn singled to second. With Clark batting, Gwynn stole second. Clark struck out swinging. Mitchell struck out looking, dropped third strike, putout Steinbach, unassisted. Davis flied out to Sierra (0 runs, 1 hit, 0 errors, 1 LOB).`` All that from the computer, thanks to Major League Baseball, meaning the commissioner`s office.

The same is true of the quotes you read the next day, some of which were obtained not by the reporter under whose byline they appear but from a printout of a pool report, also furnished by Major League Baseball.

So it is impossible to say for certain whether New York Mets third baseman Howard Johnson or one of the intermediaries quoting him is responsible for this statement: ``It`s been kind of a world-wind year for me.`