potty training frustration.

My dd will be 4 in January. She peed in the potty once and since then she doesn't do it. Daycare provider told us to put diaper only at night so she is peeing and pooping all over the place and then she just changing herself.
Where to go from here?

She is almost 4 y. old. She just did it last week and I can see that she wasn't very confident or comfi when she was on the potty. I tried to make a big deal of it and even ordered pizza. I don't think anything happened which turned her off the potty.

They're gonna start and stop in the beginning until they get it right. I had my son try on big boy undies and said that he couldn't wear them again until he used the potty, I also made a big deal out of his buddies at daycare if they were wearing undies, so my son wanted to wear them too. I started letting him wear them around the house and kept asking him if he had to pee of course he had accidents but the wet sensation was so different from a diaper and he didn't like it at all he got the picture really fast. We used diapers at nite but within a few weeks he asked to not wear them at night anymore and he's only had d few accidents since. Give it a try see what happens and good luck but remember every kid is different.

If she pees in her pants, she just tries to secretly change them and throw wet one somewhere. Before she was fine even in wet pants.
She likes to wear pull-up but we were told to use them only at night and we have to use them when she goes somewhere.

I agree no pull ups there just grownup diapers. I only use them if we are going on a long car ride now. HUMMMM I use to make my son keep the wet undies on for a bit so he could really feel what it's like to be wet and he didn't like it. Let your daughter stay in the wet undies just long enough to feel it get cold than maybe she'll change her tune. Also start to look for signs of when she may have to go and bring to the potty and sit her on it and ask her to try. For some unknown reason my son likes to hold it in until the very last moment and than races to the bathroom. I 'll try to think of a few more things.

We used a reward system with our second boy and it worked very well. (I can't remember how we got our first one trained - too long ago -LOL). Anyway, think of something your daughter likes to eat (say M&M's), and promise her a handful each time she goes to the potty. If you don't like to reward with food, think of something else - maybe little toy cars that sell three for a dollar at your local supermarket. With our little one, it was M&M's. He'd use the potty and then run to the pantry for his "prize." Of course, he was just two when this method worked so well. By age four, they may be more stubborn and set in their ways. Try it and let me know how it goes.

Have you tried reading to her while she sits on the toilet? Our little one (who's 3 now), thinks potty time is reading time, and still wants us to go in there and read to him while he goes ("Daddy, I have to go doody. Can you come read to me?"). When they start associating the toilet with fun things, it's easy to get them there.

We've also used reward systems for other things with our kids, such as going to bed without a fuss. They get a sheet of paper and some stickers, and get a new sticker for every time they do the right thing. After a certain number of stickers, they get a treat such as miniature golf or a pizza dinner. After a while, they start wanting to do the thing you want them to do. Our little guy likes gum, and we're still trying to get him to nap every day. The other day, he said to me, "If I take a nice nap, can I have a piece of gum afterward?" It worked out just like that.

Is your daughter a first child? That might be why she's tough. I know that my older son was much harder than my younger son, and we know two girls on our street who were still in diapers until they were almost four (and both were first children). With our second, he had a great example in his brother. He idolizes his older brother, and wants to be like him in every way. So naturally he wanted to wear underwear like his brother.

Perhaps if your daughter is your first, she has some older cousins or friends who could serve as examples for her.

I was reflecting today on what I wrote yesterday. I sounded like such a parenting expert, giving advice on how I got my 3-year old to cooperate. But I just wanted you to know that last night, after I got through writing that wonderful advice, my wife and I could not get our 3-year old to calm down and go to sleep. He kept coming out of the room he and his brother share, and crying when we made him return to his bed. He made such a fuss that we had to move his older brother out of the room and let him sleep on our bed so he could get some peace and quiet. Our 3-year old screamed himself to sleep after about an hour. No idea what was bugging him, but he seems OK today. Anyway, it just goes to show that no one has all the answers!

My son started to so #2 onthe potty first than pee. He use top get a onely while I was taking care of business and use to talk to me so he saw me do it and one day he just sat down on his potty and pooped first try the pee took a little longer because I sit and he eventually stood so the transition was a little hard but he did it. I remember making a big deal the first time he wore big undies to school and pointed out whenever one of his buddies at school were wearing them. Than we progressed to diapers at night only and one morning he just said am I wearing diapers and I said yep and he said take them off of me please and that was that. But I still have to remind him not to hold it in to the last minute, go before leaving the house etc. No worries she'll get it.

Have you talked to a health advisor about this? Almost four seems a little old for her not to get the hang of it, quickly, but I may be out of touch. There may be some other problem that is preventing her from co-operating.
Maya