On the C.L.: 3 Things Women Say That Make Them Look Insecure (and How to Stop and Just Be Your Amazing Self)

You’re wonderful. You’re unique. You’re...I’m running out of adjectives, you’re so great! Now it’s time to act like it. As the editor of Glamour, I’ve interviewed, hired and had the pleasure of working with hundreds of women over the years, and at the risk of sounding like your granny, I’ve noticed that even the most confident women can pick up little verbal tics and habits that make them seem...less self-assured than they deserve. Did I mention I do these things too? I do. Let’s all stop together.

1. You know this one: Quit saying “like.” We all do it now and then—I’m not a purist here. But “like” sounds wishy-washy (are you, like, happy—or are you actually happy?). “Like” sounds immature. “Like” stands between you and the meaning of your words, and hey, you’re a girl who means what she says, right? So: Not sure whether you say it too much? Try speaking an entire paragraph like-free; if you’re in pain, you’ve got a problem.

2. Just accept the compliment. It’s a classic female reflex: Someone compliments your work/dress/hair/recent performance on the Frankenfelser account, and you immediately defuse the praise: It was nothing! I got it on sale six years ago! Really, you thought it was great? Because Frankenfelser didn’t seem that into it....and on and on and on, until your listener is secretly wondering how terrific the thing she/he just complimented actually is. Sure, accepting flattery is tricky (Jessica, Beth and Joanna have all blogged about it), but here’s an easy option: Smile, say thanks, end sentence. If that feels too terse for you talky types, bask in the praise a little: “Thanks, that means a lot—our team worked really hard.”

3. Don’t undermine your own ideas. At Glamour we have a rule: You can’t precede a suggestion or comment with those sabotagey little phrases like “I’m sure someone’s already thought of this...” or its confidence-deflating cousin, “Maybe this is silly, but....” Why give anyone a reason to doubt your probably-not-silly-at-all-and-in-fact-fairly-brilliant idea? Guys, in my experience, aren’t as apt to do this: They’ll stride in, say “I’ve got it!” and pitch away. Sometimes they actually have got it and sometimes they haven’t, but confidence is infectious.

OK, ladies—fire back at me here. What are YOUR little confidence secrets, at work or anywhere else? And what little habits have you conquered (or helped friends conquer)?