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LOL... yeah... My husband would be the FiL removing the child for a bit of 'time out' and telling the dad if he didn't like it he could go sit in the corner too.
I'd be clearing out a corner for the kid to chill out in for a bit.
Once she was chill I'd take her and show her the wonders of 'outside' where frolicking is welcome.
It's called responsible role modeling!

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
~Friedrich Nietzsche
And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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Kids really do need adults help to learn appropriate behavior and the adults need to be able to understand a child's need for energy expendature. While I would NEVER slap anyone elses kid, I definitely would correct them if they were in my home or hurting my child in public. As mentioned above, we need to set kids up for success - let them know the rules of where they are going but also understand each child's ability to obey such rules. Some kids are very high energy and need lots of rowdy play time or are poor at conforming to rules. In such cases, either remove the child or show them the "right way" to behave. Living in a society has many rules and if we don't teach our children we set them up for failure or worse in life. My kids know that some "friends" will not be invited back to our home for another visit because of their behavior. I remind them to be a good guest in other's homes if they want to be invited back.

FWIW, a slap by a stranger at a BBQ could be the greatest gift ever, if it helped the child understand the reality of life. Natural consiquences (Sorry - spelling) slap us in many ways - sometimes we get hurt by stupidity and sometimes we go to jail.

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I can assure you that at least in the part of Canada I live in, that child's behaviour, and her father's, would also be completely socially unacceptable.

The most wonderful, lovable, fun children I know are the ones whose parents set appropriate boundaries, allow them age-appropriate autonomy (so things like choices over what to wear or what game to play, for example), and make clear what the rules are and what the consequences are for both good and bad behaviour. I've known most of those kids since birth, and they continue to grow into loving, respectful, and happy people. They are the children who are not necessarily the most popular kid in school, but the ones who are frequently well liked by their classmates, the ones who win service awards and are the team players and positive leaders among their peers. Their parents have given them the tools to be successful in life, and I think that's fantastic. Those are the parents I watch and learn from as I consider having children of my own.

The friends whose children are badly behaved monsters who destroy things, scream and fight constantly, jump on furniture and so on--well, let's say that not only are their children not particularly welcome in our home generally, but we also don't like going to their houses. Although it is quite amazing how polite they are when we are caring for them and set reasonable boundaries for them: they're almost like different kids. But they have parents who don't reinforce those things, so they are often great when we have them alone and then awful once their parents are around again.

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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I grew up in the country, so going anywhere was pretty much a treat. If we misbehaved, we were bundled back in the car and went home. She walked away from full grocery carts to do this. There really was no "maybe this time she won't." Nu huh- if we couldn't behave in society then we couldn't be in it. Didn't take us long to figure that out.

We had an exchange student from Chile when I was in highschool for a month or so. Spoiled does not begin to describe this boy. We found out later that we were the only family with which he was not tardy to school. Missing a few times, but there was no way to control him after he got on the bus. Apparently we kids did a good job of impressing on him that you did NOT want to be stuck in the car with Mom for 20 miles up to school if you missed the bus

http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

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Really, I think about the liability if someone's child is hurt at my place because the parent let them do whatever they wanted.

I have no children. I do not have my home childproofed. A neighbor came over to bake Christmas cookies. Her husband had the toddler, we thought. He dumped the kid off on us. Now, wouldn't you think a parent would pay attention? She walked out on the deck to have a smoke while I was putting the cookies in the oven. I turned around to find that child about to stick a screwdriver in an electrical socket. At almost the same time she comes running in screaming at me for not having my home childproofed. If that kid had been hurt or killed I would have been the one getting in trouble, not the inattentive parent.

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She sells eggs and meat from her farm out of the back of her pickup truck, and I dial her up and give her my order. It really is like having a dealer, except her stash consists of all-natural garlic sausage and tasty, tasty bacon.

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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She sells eggs and meat from her farm out of the back of her pickup truck, and I dial her up and give her my order. It really is like having a dealer, except her stash consists of all-natural garlic sausage and tasty, tasty bacon.

I have a dealer whose stash is un-pasteurized goat milk and homemade goat cheese. I need a fix.

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I grew up in the country, so going anywhere was pretty much a treat. If we misbehaved, we were bundled back in the car and went home. She walked away from full grocery carts to do this.

never understood how this tactic works. the kid(s) usually doesn't want to be in the store in the first place. of course, i would lord it over the kid for days: "well, you could be eating yogurt right now. but (kid) couldn't control himself in the store and so we had to leave without it." but i'm evil like that.

Apparently we kids did a good job of impressing on him that you did NOT want to be stuck in the car with Mom for 20 miles up to school if you missed the bus

did you read about that mom who was charged with neglect for making her kid walk 5 miles to school? the kid was kicked off the bus for misbehavior, so that was his punishment.

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I would like you to address the restaurant behavior, seeing as you are all about energetic kids having "it didn't hurt anybody" fun. Do you actually smile with indulgence when an anonymous rogue kid deliberately messes with your table at an eatery?

"Smile with indulgence"? No, I laugh with mirth. Actually, the last time a kid was climbing around the dinner table I ended up playing with the kid. I'm that singular kind of adult who is not too stupid to separate the concepts of fun and bad. And the people one table over gave the kid a pair of sunglasses to play with.
Around here kids are only punished when it is appropriate. NOT when they're just being kids.

In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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When my kids were school age, I use to tell them they had to behave when we went shopping or I would sing opera right there in the middle of the store.

It worked because they knew I really would.

Funnest story I heard along these lines was a mom that was having problems with her teenage son on school, getting calls almost daily about his behavior, etc.

Finally one day, after getting called again, she showed up at his school with curlers in her hair, a housecoat on, and slippers. Saw him in the hall with is friends, ran up and hugged him telling him that she had gotten a call from the school and knew that he needed her help. Followed him to class, put a chair next to his desk and promised to come and help every day until he got past this rough spot. Never missed the opportunity to loudly proclaim, in front of his friends of course, how much she loved him.

Took one day, problem solved, no more problems with her son again.....ever.

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Funnest story I heard along these lines was a mom that was having problems with her teenage son on school, getting calls almost daily about his behavior, etc.

Finally one day, after getting called again, she showed up at his school with curlers in her hair, a housecoat on, and slippers. Saw him in the hall with is friends, ran up and hugged him telling him that she had gotten a call from the school and knew that he needed her help. Followed him to class, put a chair next to his desk and promised to come and help every day until he got past this rough spot. Never missed the opportunity to loudly proclaim, in front of his friends of course, how much she loved him.

Took one day, problem solved, no more problems with her son again.....ever.

I know a great lady who did something very much like this. She is an adoption worker for a private agency that handles the toughest adoption cases - the older kids referred from the State where the State originally took the kids for horrible abuses. Well, this lady had to be to work on time at the agency, you know, and the deal was that her daughter had to be waiting at the high school parking lot turnaround at such and such a time, and started not being there.

The mom found out that the girl was blowing her off to talk to a cute guy she hoped to make a boyfriend of. Next day - curlers in hair, housecoat and ugly jammies, no makeup (Mom does wear it), most obnoxious bunny-ear slippers... she is loudly searching the halls for her darling (Mom knows all the time where the locker is located - like I said, Mom does adoption for kids who are seriously messed up and play all kinds of games before they get well, so this Mom does serious recon...). Yup, finds her daughter at her locker giggling with Cute Guy. Daughter almost fell over in a faint when her Mom caught up with her, even though the Mom said not one mean word... "Suuuuugar! There you are! Baaaaaaaby, you know that I need to be at work soon....(in her most obnoxious faux Southern accent)"

Mom told me that her daughter was NEVER, EVER late to ANY appointment, class, or meetup TO THIS DAY.

I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC