Heat Playoffs: Heat Take Down Celtics in Overtime

​They had to overcome overtime, bad officiating, the national media's sudden infatuation with a one-armed man, "retarded-gate," Chris Bosh's supposed "softness," LeBron James' inability to close out games, a losing streak in Boston that's lasted since 2007, and a building full of obnoxious fans, but the Heat took down the Celtics 98-90 in extra frames as they head back to Miami with a 3-1 series lead.

Before the start of the game, all the talk was about Rajon Rondo and his amazing feats of being able to play through pain. The national media was dying to make him the symbol of this series with his heroics of being able to play basketball with an injured elbow. And without the aid of any painkillers, mind you. Dwyane Wade, James and Bosh also had to contend with coming off their worst performance as Miami's Big Three when they combined for 44 points in Game 3.

But the Three Kings decided that one night of sucking was enough, and played to a combined 83 points last night, grabbing 35 of Miami's 45 rebounds, and drawing penises on Larry Bird posters strewn throughout the arena.

James swung his giant royal dong, and scorched the Celtics with 35 points, while going to-to-toe with Paul Pierce, who put up 27 of his own.

Miami took Boston's best punches throughout, but managed to stay in the game even while trailing for most of it.

The Heat were able to take the lead late in the fourth. But, because douche is hard to kill, with just 2:28 remaining, Boston's Delonte West and Ray Allen dropped back-to-back threes, giving the Celtics an 86-83 lead.

Then, as he held the ball in front of the Boston bench, with Celtics players yelling in his ears and Pierce guarding him tough, James drained a three-pointer of his own, knotting up the game and making those Celtics bench players feel really badly about themselves. Then, with under a minute to play, he scooped in a layup to give Miami the two-point lead.

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After Pierce tied the game again, James went to dribble down the clock for the last shot, but inexplicably lost control of the ball. Boston re-gained control with 19 seconds left, leaving all of Heat Hater Nation to salivate over the fact that LBJ had once again, choked away a game.

But Pierce missed the potential game-winning shot, sending the game into overtime.

And overtime is when the Heat's Big Three stood up and managed to exorcise the Ghosts of Douche Past, outscoring Boston 12-4. James dropped a sick fallaway jumper as the shot clock expired, Bosh flushed down a dunk after a pretty pass from James, and D-Wade knocked down a long two-pointer with defenders in his face. When Boston cut the overtime lead to three, James attempted and missed a runner. But Bosh tipped the rebound in, giving the Heat the five-point lead. Bosh pumped his fist and let out a primal scream of triumph. If this were the middle-ages, Bosh would have the run of all the Celtics' players' wives and treasure.

The Heat now have a chance to close out the series on Wednesday at home. Time to make the donuts.