Real advice from real people

“Boyfriend advice needed asap!”

This may seem stupid, primarily because it is but I don’t know what to do.. Im 19 and have been with my boyfriend, who is 22 for over a year now.. I’ve recently started college.. I’m starting to think he’s not right for me based on the fact that when I entered college I found so many other people that were like the male version of me: all sharing the same intellect and common interests, although I’m not sexually attracted to anyone, they’re all great friends! I don’t know whether I’m overthinking it or not but I can’t help feeling that my boyfriend isn’t the lad I’m gonna marry.. I know I’m young and that shouldn’t even be on my mind! – but I can’t help realising that I feel this is going to end someday.. He’s perfect but even the simple things like the way he’s not interested in the same sport as me is starting to freak me out! I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say but I just want to know am I crazy or am I being rational- is this just a phase I’m in? Or am I too young

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6 thoughts on ““Boyfriend advice needed asap!””

[None of what you’re describing is a deal breaker if you really love your boyfriend. However, you’re right… you ARE young, and it’s not fair to you or to him to settle when you’re not sure.

Now, here’s the tricky part… you can’t just tell him that you want to explore your options. That’s basically just telling him that he’s ok, but you need to shop around. Just think about everything for a while. Think about your feelings for your BF, and pay attention to what’s around you. Because you very well may realize that there are better fish in the sea for you. And if that’s what you decide, then you need to tell your BF exactly what’s happening. Be completely honest with him

[Speaking from my own personal experiences, the likelihood that the guy you meet when you’re 18 will be the guy that you’re with when your 28, 38 or 98 is highly improbable. That being said, that doesn’t mean that you can’t just date him and see where it leads, because you never know. If you are absolutely happy with the relationship, I don’t see any point in “exploring other options” (regardless of how many like-minded male friends you are meeting in college), nor do I think the idea of marriage should be at the forefront of your thoughts right now.

[I think it is unlikely that you will end up with your current boyfriend long term. I think that part of college is learning who you get along with and who you don’t. Which personality traits work for you, which don’t. You also need to figure out who YOU are. I would suggest taking the hard step and letting your boyfriend go. I think that you will enjoy college and will grow much more if you do.
That said, NOONE can truly know how much you really like/love the guy you are with except you. If you think there is a long term future then work at that.

[You’re not being irrational. You’re just going through growing up. Hardly anyone thinks about marrying someone at age 19. When I was in first year of college, I met so many people who had a high school sweetheart, and most of them broke up. Sometimes you really like someone, but the timing is wrong.

Do what you think is best, but just know that it’s not the end of the world either way.

My fiance and I have literally none of the same interests. On anything. Yet, we get along because we’re surprisingly similar in our underlying, core values. As such, I wouldn’t say that you and your boyfriend having different interests is a dealbreaker. You being young and wondering what else is out there, though? Yeah, that can — and probably should — be a dealbreaker.