August 22, 2013

Tired of long articles that go on and on and on and ON? You’ll love today’s post and you’ll love today’s featured home even more. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for these superb snapshots in Sunnyvale! And we hope you enjoy them, because the house is, you guessed it, Pending!

Spacious Home located in Sought-After Cherry Chase Area! Kitchen features Built-In Cabinetry, 4 Burner Gas Range, Dishwasher. 3 Wood Burning Fireplaces in the Living Room, Family Room & Master Bedroom. Beautiful front yard with Gazebo. Pavers on the Driveway. Separate Cottage in the Back of the House w/ 1 Bedroom & Half Bath. Great Cherry Chase Elementary.

Want to see those three different fireplaces in the living room? Want to see them burn wood? Sorry, all we have is one fireplace with way too much Photoshop in the way. You’re going to have to figure out where they’ve managed to stash the other two. Perhaps they’re behind those sofas.

Enjoy a couple more of these delightfully dialed-up digital pix while you consider what life would be like in this home.

And if you want to feel the cold, hard slap of reality in your face, there’s always Google Streetview.

October 23, 2012

Today’s Adventure in Real Estate Photography takes us to the always popular City of Sunnyvale (motto: Costs More than Santa Clara). Let’s see what Burbed reader shandrew has lassoed for us in the listings.

Compare photos 1 (above) and 22 (below), and you’ll see miraculous clouds that are precisely identical whether viewed straight on from the front of the house or viewed
to the side of the backyard.

Then take a careful look at some of the trees which apparently have been consumed by these vicious clone army of clouds.

Clouds which consume trees are apparently good for property values.

We think those clouds look like a flock of pterodactyls, which is why the trees were eaten so quickly (between picture 21 and 22). These leaves haven’t even had time to fall down after the ptero-cirrus swooped down and chowed on the branches.

Yet the same clouds show up in the time it took the agent to install a for sale sign. Compare this picture of the front of the house with the first one.

August 26, 2011

Here’s a find from Burbed reader nomadic, who wants to know how this house managed to sell. That’s easy, nomadic! It’s in the best zip code in Sunnyvale, and that’s really saying something. It’s just like owning the best model Chevrolet builds.

What school district a house is in matters to most purchasers. If it didn’t matter, this agent wouldn’t have put the schools in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS like THIS. Then again, if schools were that important to making a sale, you would think the agent would GET THE NAME OF THE MIDDLE SCHOOL RIGHT.

There are two middle schools in the Sunnyvale school district: Columbia and Sunnyvale. This house is Special, though. It has Super Secret Extra Bunus middle school: SUNNYSIDE! Or the Realtard can’t be bothered to learn school names, which are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING BUYERS WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE PROPERTY. Sunnyvale, Sunnyside, what’s the difference?

Not much difference at all! So let’s move on to the house itself. Fortunately Team Redfin has been working together and sharing everything to find us our perfect home!

Whoa, major wear and tare? Does that mean a noxious Biblical weed infestation or that we have to subtract the weight of the shipping containers the house came in?

Okay, enough sniping at silly spelling mistakes. Some people are made to be copy editors, some create first-person shooter games, and some have a talent for selling houses worth over half a million dollars by making charming mistakes throughout the reams of paperwork. The agent did make the effort to take several shots throughout the property. So let’s admire all the photos of this house.

And I won’t even shrink them down, they are at their full 90×120 resolution! But here’s something that did shrink, and quickly:

Should I praise this Realtard for making some seriously deep price cuts when the house didn’t sell quickly, or bury him for starting so high in the first place?

February 10, 2011

Are you a young, upwardly mobile professional who likes to keep everything in its place? Then this short and sweet* house is for you! Many thanks to Burbed reader nomadic for this find! (*Yes, selling shortly!)

This highly desirable Cherry Chase neighborhood is a perfect home in which to create a lifetime of memories. The kitchen features granite countertops and stainless steel appliances It opens to a beautiful living room, making it perfect for entertaining guests, or simply spending quality time with family. The master bedroom features a walk-in closet and a remodeled bathroom. Dual paned windows.

So why is this a great house for the organized twentysomething? Let’s take a little tour, shall we? You shouldn’t have any trouble figuring out where in the house you are.

This house goes great with this magazine!

Here’s what nomadic had to say about this amazing place:

Sure, it shares a street name with the Munsters, but check out those rooms painted in primary colors. Do you suppose the pwners trying for a short sale were too lazy to repaint, or are they hoping to live there free for several more months? Nope, they’re using the loud colors to drown out the sound of Highway 85 less than 200’ away.

Ok, let’s see that E-Z freeway access.

Awesome! The next-door neighbors have a swimming pool! Guess where you’ll be dropping by every day this summer! Plus think of all the money you’ll save not having to join a swim club!

October 27, 2010

When a property has been listed for a year and hasn’t sold, there’s a problem somewhere. Your mission today is to find out why the house with the lowest price per square foot in 94087 can’t get a closing date.

Great home for a large family or for a family that needs inlaw quarters. Lowest price per sf ($324) in 94087 area code. 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 2 bedrooms and bathroom downstairs can easily be inlaw quarters. Bonus room, office, family room, living room, large kitchen, large dining room, large backyard, large utility room. Homestead High School, Cherry Chase Elem. Definitely the best value in Sunnyvale.

94087 used to be in the RBA, but this house ensured that zip will never be invited back. This traitor to doubling every ten years sold on 10/31/2001 for $680,000. It was listed in April 2009 for an unknown amount, and taken off the market in October. October 2009. Then it was listed again for $998,888, with the price reduced to $950K in March. Taking away all those eights didn’t improve its luck.

Maybe the problem is the vanishing second floor. When you look straight at it, it disappears. It even fooled the GoogleCam. You can see daylight through the trees. That’s just like not seeing a vampire in a mirror, only it’s a Halloween house and a camera, and you can see the bottom floor fine. Plus all the trash cans!

Meanwhile, the poor lonely house is still waiting for a suitor. Can you give it some dating advice before another Halloween passes by?

Burbed reader madhaus sent this to me a few days ago, but I forgot to post it.

This house is definitely quite remodeled – but is it really worth $1,248,000? Of course it is! 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms? Extra wide side yard for that all so important additional parking (hello entrepreneurs!) and granite galore?

“WILL NOT LAST AT THIS PRICE” is the understatement of the year. How much over asking will this sell for?

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