A Stick To The Face Turned Edmonton Oiler Sam Gagner Into A Monster

If you don’t know how to work a YouTube video, I’ll recap it for you: Vancouver Canucks winger Zack Kassian tried to hit Edmonton Oilers center Sam Gagner but missed him by like two feet. He still wanted to hit him, though, so he spun around with his stick in the air and basically backfisted Gagner in the jaw with it. Gagner was taken away with a broken jaw, and Kassian, at least in my head, had the rest of the Oilers descend upon him with extreme prejudice.

But hey, getting hit in the face with a stick is part of the game. Gagner decided that selfies were in order, and uploaded a picture of the kind of grotesquely swollen jaw you can only get from stick backfists or addiction to nerve tonic. I can’t say with confidence that his teeth didn’t look like that BEFORE he got hit, but it certainly doesn’t look right.

AAAHHH

AAAHHH

The bottom half of his mouth looks like the ruins of a building. Motherf*cker looks like the Sarlacc pit. Man, the season hasn’t even officially begun yet and we’ve got a violent thing to share every day. By mid-season guys are just gonna be setting each other on fire.