Tag: confidence

We all get into our comfort zone from time to time and just sort of coast on life. There's no ripples, no changes, and after a while, it can become pretty boring.

That's where breaking out of your comfort zone can be so liberating.

Have you ever tried something way out of your self-perception, something scary and intimidating, but despite the self-doubt, you did it anyway? Do you remember your heart beating fast, the adrenaline rush and the exhiliration when it was over? Congratulations- you broke through your comfort zone and expanded your limits. This is such a necessary skill for personal growth and for dealing with stress.

One of the scariest and most memorable moments in my life was when I walked on hot coals during a firewalk. We had discussed fear for 4 hours. When I took that first step in my bare feet, I felt heat and then I relaxed into it. When I came off the long strip of coals, miraculously, my feet were not burnt at all…I had walked on fire and survived! That experience was a turning point in my life. It is a reference point of going beyond my preconceived notions of my capabilities.

Every time I get scared now by a new challenge, I can look back on that firewalk and think- "You've got this."

Create a Vision of Your Ideal Life

There's a new trend out in creating a vision board or dream collage. I first wrote about them 20 years ago and I learned that they had been used for decades. That's because they work! Dream collages are powerful visual tools that truly help you make your dreams come true.

My first dream collage in 1989 had so many positive results that I was hooked. Everything on that collage came true within 2 years, including me finding the love of my life, getting married and receiving high profile media coverage for my book. The one shown here is of one of my students who went on to become an $18 Million dollar Avon woman. Dream collages are incredibly effective.

So get yourself some poster board, maybe wrap it in your favorite colored wrapping paper, get scissors, double sided tape or Spray mount, and magazines from your favorite hobbies, interests, or places you like to visit.

• a picture of yourself right in the middle, and if you are married or have a family, include them in the picture

• images and words that inspire you

I've seen people put sparkles and glitter over their posterboard. Do whatever you can to make it exciting and beautiful for you. And only share it with people who will encourage and support you.

Put the collage somewhere you see it every day- like on your refrigerator or mirror. Take a photo of it can keep it on your phone. Look at it regularly. See yourself living your dreams. That's the key- if you can see it, you can be it. You deserve to live the life of your dreams!

For software that helps you create an audio-video multi-media collage in a very easy way, go here: http://ow.ly/bGqFT

Not long ago, I met a gentleman who was downtrodden and beleaguered. He explained to me all the reasons his business was not doing well and declared that he was just no good at that Internet stuff. He also went on to say he had avoided a certain market because he was afraid what they might do. He had all the perfect excuses for why he couldn't succeed. I felt sorry for him and had compassion for him. But ultimately, he made his own choices and he is now sitting in his discontent.

Excuses- we all make them and we all have them. And ultimately, they mean nothing. NOTHING. They are just rationalizations as to why we think we can't do something.

In this man's case, he could have taken courses to learn the Internet, hired a college kid to do it for him, or used his own kids. There are so many different ways he could overcome his fear of the Internet but instead, he just gave up.

Don't give up. And NO MORE EXCUSES!

You can overcome almost any challenge. Ask for help. Take courses. Check and see if your assumptions are true. Network with others in your field and learn how they handle these issues. Just don't sit around whining. Take action to overcome these challenges.

I once heard Christopher Reeves speak after his debilitating accident. He talked about control and how he had lost so much of it when he became paralyzed. But then he realized the one area he could take control was how he treated his caregivers.

If someone like that can take control, take action and move forward, you can, too.

I recently had lunch with two great women who have achieved substantial success in life and business. However, like so many people, they were taking way too much responsibility for others. As I speak around the country about burn-out, I see this trend over and over. You are NOT responsible for the actions of others. If someone comes into work in a bad mood, it's not your fault. Nor do you have to fix it. Women in particular are great "fixers." Stop. Focus your energy and attention on being the best you can be, and let go of worrying about the behavior of others. You can't control them anyway, and you certainly cannot change them. Let every individual make their own choices. How to Stay Clear of Over-Responsibility

• Don't Take it Personally If someone is rude, short-tempered or curt with you, recognize it's about them. They may have been in a fight or lost a loved one or been cut off in traffic. It's not about YOU.

• Take a Good Look at Your Schedule How much of it is taking on others' tasks and responsibilities? Have you over-committed? Are you doing the work others should be doing? Stop, renegotiate those commitments, and don't take on anything that isn't yours.

• Lighten Up Life is so hard if you continually worry about others' opinions and problems. Yes, it is appropriate to give back to the community and do service work. But not at the expense of your health and well-being. Focus first on your life, your needs and your issues, and allow yourself to relax and have joy, freedom and peace of mind.

I remember very well from the days when I was single, what it felt like on Valentine's Day. Here's what I want you to know.You are worthy and you are enough just by being who you are. You do not need a partner to be whole and complete. It is far better to be single than to be in a destructive relationship where you are devalued.

You are wonderful. You have unique talents and gifts and you make a difference in the world just by being you.

You are loved and appreciated, especially by me. Happy Valentine's Day

What Would You Do?

Too often in our world, we limit ourselves, we stop ourselves from going for our dreams. But daydreaming about success and big dreams is powerful- it's how some of our greatest inventions came about, and how software we use everyday was created.

As yourself this question: What would I do if I knew I could not fail? Really seriously consider it and allow yourself to visualize all the things you would do. Maybe you would start a foundation to help children, maybe you would create the next cure for cancer, maybe you would develop a new strategy for world peace. You will never know until you try.

Be aware that these things can limit your thinking:

• our own negative beliefs: I can't because (I don't have a degree, I don't have enough money, etc etc.- all myths) • our circle of friends is too small and too negative- whiners and complainers • quitting on ourselves because we have made mistakes int he past

All truly successful people have failed, and failed often. That's why they succeed. They learn from each failure and translate it into an opportunity. They never give up and neither should you.

Did you know?

Sandra Day O’Connor could not get a job as a lawyer when she graduated from law school in 1952. Instead, she chose to enter public service, and served as county deputy attorney before opening her own law firm. In 1981 she became the first woman Justice of the United States Supreme Court.

When Henry Ford wanted to create the V-8 engine, he was told repeatedly that it was impossible. He sent his staff back to work and told them to stay on the job until they did what he asked. After a year, there was no success. He told them to keep at it. He knew persistence would pay off. Eventually they did it and the V-8 became a huge success. It helped Ford and his motor company outstrip the competition and take the lead in the automotive market. He refused to believe “It’s impossible.”

It's now your turn. Spend some time dreaming and visualizing what you would do. You could make a huge difference in the world!

October is International Fired Up Month!

"The real secret of success is enthusiasm." - Walter Chrysler

Celebrated from Oct.1-31, this month focuses on motivation and enthusiasm in the workforce, where people learn what gets them Fired Up! and incorporate that into their lives. The power of enthusiasm is critical to success and this month celebrates enthusiasm. It is incredibly rare in the world. I created this month many years ago to focus on the good in our lives.

International Fired Up! month culminates with the 4th Sat. in October, International Make a Difference Day, Oct. 22, 2016, created by USA Weekend. Annually, several million people participate. The power of volunteerism has long been proven to reduce stress and increase longevity. It also improves communication, gratitude and empathy.

Here's how to to host a Fired Up! week at work or at school or in your community. Employees, students or community members can:

• share inspirational quotes, stories and videos

• maintain a daily success list of all you accomplish- every action you take, every call you make, every thought you follow through on is a success

Give special attention to it and make it a sincere effort. Let others know you value them and encourage their positive attitude. This works especially well with salespeople- they love to see their great results posted. Employees and students who know they are valued as human beings are more loyal and productive.

Only You Can Define Success

Not long ago, I lunched with an extraordinary young woman. We chatted about her internship at a battered women's shelter. The experience had such a profound impact upon her that she’s going to become asocial worker. She questioned me about my life and the decisions I'd made. She knew my parents had beenalcoholics and that had substantially influenced my life choices.

My recommendation to her was to define success on her own termsand do what was truly meaningful to her. The familiesshe had helped would never forget her acts of kindness. They meant more than any accolade, award or degree. The same is true of all those volunteers who are helping anywhere in the world, or just down the street.

In the final analysis, your life will not be measured by how high on the ladder you climbed, how much money you made, or how much you achieved. It will be measured by the lives you touched, the kindness you extended, the generosity of your heart.

Stop Judging Yourself: Watch Your Negative Self-Talk

In a recent interview, Barbara Corcoran of Shark Tank, real estate mogul and successful business woman, shared some of her life challenges. As a child in a family of 10 in NJ, she was a delayed learner, and she is super-sensitive about being called "dumb" or "stupid." She says negative self-talk has limited her and also been a driving force. She has retrained her brain to respond inside of herself when someone says she can't do something or is rude or condescending. She now says to herself " I have a right to be here, just as much as you. I have a right to be successful."

That's a powerful way to respond to negativity. It's very important to be aware of what we say to ourselves, as most of us tend to judge ourselves very harshly. Our negative self-talk can be very destructive. Instead, when you find yourself condemning yourself for something, do the following:

It’s now February. How are you doing on your resolutions? Usually, 75% of resolutions don’t make it.

Last post I gave you 4 ideas about how to achieve success with your goals. Here's one more that is very powerful.

Track Your Progress

For years, I have maintained a healthy habits chart for my goals with different items I check off daily.Things like exercise, meditation, eating right, contacting friends, etc. are all there and I check them off.

Find a tool that works for you- there a plenty of great apps on smart phones or you can just customize your own chart. The key is daily tracking with rewards at monthly increments.

One of my weaknesses is sugar. Just have not been able to give it up! So that's on my goals chart now and every day I don't have sugar is a big win.