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Update Hey ladies help me catch my Dh cheating ASAP!

I made a post the other day about emails of my husbands. I've denied everything. Now I am trying to find solid proof. Anyways I just text this number that was on the list of numbers he texted yesterday but there is no messages in his phone. The name came up George. I just said "hey". They text back "hey lol" with a sig that says "mrs jones" with hearts. I don't know what to say now.

Update 11/24 11pm

I am just getting on here updating a little. I have not read all the replies nor am I going to tonight. I am out of state in a hotel with my son to think about things. We will be going to the children's museum tomorrow. He texted me today and told me he needed to talk to me. I was in a meeting but told him I would not be talking to him if he couldn't give me the respect to tell me the truth and after 6 years I deserve that. Well we met at the house. He said the condoms were truely not his (idk whether this is true or not but he HATES condoms I can tell you that much). He said the emails were his but he never actually met up with the person. He said it ended up being a scam when she text him a webcam address and he spent money on it. He said lindsey he put her number under a different name because he was afraid I would get jealous he was talking to another girl. He said all of the conversations he had with her related to work. He said her husband came up to his work today thinking the same thing I was/am because I mentioned condoms. He said his name was also under a different name in her phone. I asked him what made him want to come clean all of a sudden. He told me it was because he deleted his email account/text so I wouldn't have anything on him, and he knew I had him when he got a email at work his email had been re-activated and I already told him earlier I was having a mutual friend come over later to find out the ip address the emails were sent from (although I figured it out without said friend). I still don't know what to do. He did apologize. I just don't want to make a decision without thinking. I love him very much and I want my son to have his father in his life so I can't just think of myself. I also don't want to bring this up to family because it is embarrassing. I also at the same time do not want to worry every minute who he is talking to, who he is sleeping with, where he is ect. I also don't want to deal with him ever cheating again (yes his intentions were cheating so I see it as cheating). I guess I will just try to think about everything tonight and try to sleep and enjoy my time with my son.

I wouldn't....if I felt I had enough information to suspect my DH of cheating...I confront him....he says "Oh, baby I didn't do it.) which most will....I say...."Well...I don't believe you...so you're going to have to prove yourself to me....you are going to have to put in the effort required to once again make me feel secure in this relationship....I wouldn't do to someone else something I wouldn't want them to do to me...it isn't about giving someone who has done me wrong "respect"...it's about sticking true to my own belief in how I should treat other human beings....

You don't have to catch someone in the act to know they've done something wrong....as I responded in another reply around here somewhere...to me there is a right way and a wrong way to go about doing anything....we all know that "snooping" through another's possessions isn't right....I don't think any one of us would like that done to us...thus...I won't do it to someone else....I don't view that as giving someone who has been disrespectful to me respect...I see it as sticking to what I believe in....I don't have to drop myself to the same level of disrespect to get what I need or want. In most relationships there is usually at least one account that bares both parties names....getting that information isn't dishonest or sneaky...because your name is on the account....maybe it won't yield you the results you seek...but it may also help point you in a direction by which to obtain the information you seek....you simply don't have to be dishonest and sneaky....well maybe a little sneaky....but definetly not dishonest... to get "proof" of an infidelity.

Quoting glamorousamber:

So how would you go about catching a cheater...assuming that you had already asked them and they denied it?

Quoting JTnJT:

Aaahhhhh.....OK???? Please explain to me how being honest and true to my own moral compass, and saying "I'm not going to invade your privacy by sneaking through your stuff.' (which for the record I don't know any one who takes lightly to someone else sneaking through their stuff...myself included)....is somehow comparable to... "Go a head and cheat on me." That doesn't even make good sense!! You can try any way you like to rewrite this....but simply put....2 wrongs don't make a right....doing someone else wrong...because they are doing you wrong....no one is right and no one wins....so why sink to being sneaky and dishonest for the same inevitable conclusion?????

I swear with some people....their ears don't hear what comes out their mouth....there is no way to make this situation right by sinking to the same levels of immorality....and yes....in my book sneaking through someones private items....is immoral....because I wouldn't want someone to do it to me....so I won't do it to someone else....regardless of what ways I feel that person has slighted me.

Quoting HeathersForever:

Girl you must be a glutton for some hurting then. Would you enjoy a sign that says, "I'm too good to sneak and look at your stuff so feel free to cheat"

Quoting JTnJT:

Not once have I said that a cheater is an honest person....however, sneaking around and setting traps to try and catch a cheater in the act....is just as dishonest as the person doing the cheating....how could you say otherwise?

My ex husband cheated on me....sure I was hurt, jealous, and totally ready to kill someone....but I didn't start sneaking around in order to try and catch him in the act. You can find the information you need/want with out being dishonest yourself doing so.

There are other ways to "bait and trap" with out stooping to the low of being dishonest or sneaky yourself. That is the point I was trying to make.

As someone who has been cheated on...personally I would have rather he come out to my face and said "hell yeah, I'm cheating on you." Then to have snuck around to do it....it was the sneakiness and dishonesty that had hurt me the most...not the act itself.....so with that thought in mind....I would never sink to the same lows (being dishonest and sneaky) as the person thought to be cheating.

Quoting Paperfishies:

Yes because a cheater, someone who is lying and fucking around will say, "why yes dear, I am sticking my dick into my secretary 3 times a week!" When you ask him.

Cheaters are sneaking around for a reason, not many come straight out and tell you the truth without them knowing you have 100% factual evidence.

i caught my husband by looking at his cell phone bill. There was one number on there over and over, yet the number was never in his phone.

when i confronted him, he turned it around on me. Told me it was my insecurities and that I was crazy.

he denied he was cheating until I took his phone out of his pocket one night while he as sleeping and he forgot to delet some texts... And there it was, them describing their sex acts in great detail...and even then he still tried to deny it. Lmao.

sometimes in order to get the truth you have to go digging around for it.

Quoting JTnJT:

Why does everyone think they need to sneak around and "try" to catch the SO in the act? Doing this doesn't make you any better than the person doing the cheating....assuming of course he is actually cheating....and not that you've just let your imagination run away with you....isn't part of the issue that the person cheating...isn't being honest and straight forward? So, how is what you are doing any better? This kind of shit just blows my mind.....be an effing adult and use your big girl words and talk to the man!!!

I am just getting on here updating a little. I have not read all the replies nor am I going to tonight. I am out of state in a hotel with my son to think about things. We will be going to the children's museum tomorrow. He texted me today and told me he needed to talk to me. I was in a meeting but told him I would not be talking to him if he couldn't give me the respect to tell me the truth and after 6 years I deserve that. Well we met at the house. He said the condoms were truely not his (idk whether this is true or not but he HATES condoms I can tell you that much). He said the emails were his but he never actually met up with the person. He said it ended up being a scam when she text him a webcam address and he spent money on it. He said lindsey he put her number under a different name because he was afraid I would get jealous he was talking to another girl. He said all of the conversations he had with her related to work. He said her husband came up to his work today thinking the same thing I was/am because I mentioned condoms. He said his name was also under a different name in her phone. I asked him what made him want to come clean all of a sudden. He told me it was because he deleted his email account/text so I wouldn't have anything on him, and he knew I had him when he got a email at work his email had been re-activated and I already told him earlier I was having a mutual friend come over later to find out the ip address the emails were sent from (although I figured it out without said friend). I still don't know what to do. He did apologize. I just don't want to make a decision without thinking. I love him very much and I want my son to have his father in his life so I can't just think of myself. I also don't want to bring this up to family because it is embarrassing. I also at the same time do not want to worry every minute who he is talking to, who he is sleeping with, where he is ect. I also don't want to deal with him ever cheating again (yes his intentions were cheating so I see it as cheating). I guess I will just try to think about everything tonight and try to sleep and enjoy my time with my son.

I'd talk to someone. I know you love him, but he was cheating.
I honestly think the seeking out someone with intent to cheat (Web cam) is worse than the office hookup.
That means he went looking, it didn't just cross the line one day.

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't stay though. You'll never be truly happy again. It will eat you alive.

I don't know what to tell you, but I think taking some time to think about it all is a good idea. If you really want to put the whole Lindsay thing to rest though, and be certain that he's not lying, I'd suggest you request a meeting between you, your DH, Lindsay and her husband where you all get to figure out wth was going on. The fact that they both had each other under false names in their phones is pretty telling to me. I'd be interested to see their reactions in front of each other and their spouses when questioned about the wording of their text messages. That might just tell you all you need to know.

Google a song " Me and mrs Jones" it a old song from maybe 60-70's about cheating, I believe thats what the response was about....a way of a heads up incase anyone got into the phones......Listen to the words.....Thats why they responded MRS Jones with hearts !!!!!! I knew it as soon as I read your message!!

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