Monday, May 4, 2009

Since Mercury is fixin’ to go retro again (May 7 – Friday - fasten your seatbelts), and I have already encountered several people with computer issues – myself included : ( instead of doing the usual Monday Make A – today I am going to post some computer protection type spells today, and post Monday’s craft on Thursday This Is Your Spell -

"Magic stars so bright and true, Protect my monitor and CPU May my keyboard and mouse always work for me By the Techno-Goddess.... so mote it be."

Place all the stars in a bag or box with sage, thyme, or rosemary. Each day of the week place the star on top of your monitor or computer that is the right color for the day. If after a week your computer still has problems, you can continue the spell for another week or two. In desperate situations, pick up the phone book and call your local computer wizard... LOL

* Computer Blessing * by Zhahai Stewart

"Blessings on this fine machine, May its data all be clean. Let the files stay where they're put, Away from disk drives keep all soot. From its screen shall come no whines, Let in no spikes on power lines. As oaks were sacred to the Druids, Let not the keyboard suffer fluids. Disk Full shall be nor more than rarity, The memory shall not miss its parity. From the modem shall come wonders, Without line noise making blunders. May it never catch a virus, And all its software stay desirous. Oh let the printer never jam, And turn my output into spam. I ask of Eris, noble queen, Keep Murphy far from this machine. "

Computer Possession? Unknown author

Computer acting up and your virus scanner says your bug-free? Consider that you may have an infestation of another kind. I had this very same problem and couldn't figure out why installs were going bad with random errors and the top-of-the-line equipment was glitching as if it were 20 year old scrap. No viruses and everything hooked up properly, too. I was stumped until I came into my office in the dark one night to get something. I saw this large, amorphous black thing zoom past my face and vanish into the area surrounding the computer. It was then that I realized that we had a ghost in the machine so to speak. I thought about that with some skepticism at first. A few days later, a friend of mine mentioned the fact that the Internet, to which I am connected on a daily basis, is a very powerful source of innovative, diverse energies. Therefore, it makes the perfect feeding ground for discriminating negative spirit and curious positive spirit alike. So in order to solve all of our magazine's computer problems, my Assistant Editor and I decided to perform a banishing/protection ritual before attempting to set the system straight for the 5th time. We mixed every oil we had with protection, cleansing and/or banishing powers into one rather potent batch of blended oil (with jojoba as a base). We smudged the machine and all of its accessories and asked the Lord and Lady to aid us in clearing all negative forces from the tools we use to spread their wisdom. We also invoked the spirit of Armadillo (Protection) to guard the equipment and offered some tobacco. We used the oil to inscribe a pentacle on each component of the setup (careful to keep it away from the open vents and crevices). Next, we taped two pieces of parchment with warding sigils and a brief written spell to each side of the computer's tower (the parchment and sides of the tower were also anointed with oil pentacles). We offered some sandalwood incense for all other spirits who wished to aid us in our task. As a final precaution, we sealed all entries to the room and the machine (including the plate where the phone lines come in and the air conditioner) with a pentacle inscribed with the oil. So far, the plague of problems seems to have ceased and all systems are operational. Sure, it looks a little odd to visitors to have the runes and sigils hanging on the tower, but I think it adds a unique flair to our office.

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions/recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from `this blog.

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About Me

I am a 41 (oops, not any more...lol) 42 year old witch - yes, witch, not b*tch spelled nicely :) Despite general perceptions, we live a pretty ordinary life, as you'll see if you stick around... I have been married to my perfect match for 9 years, and I have 4 kids - Jenetta 23, Tony 22, his wife Jayme 21, and Shayne 5. There are also grandkids involved - Jordan who is 1 and Anakin who was born the end of Feb.