I've been watching you and I must say, haven't you been checking 'missed connections' a little too often? At first it was cute; Just checking to see if anyone was noticing you or maybe you had a long lost friend trying to contact you. But then it became more of an obsession- checking every time you got on the computer. Then you took that step: Wearing the red headband on the train in hopes that someone might notice you. And when no one noticed? That's when you went off the deep end. Wearing two different pairs of shoes, wigs, clothes inside out, and finally- urinating yourself in public. Well, I am here to tell you that this has gone far enough. No more missed connections for you. It's time you grew up and stepped into the world of 'real connections'. So next time you have the urge to say something to the person sitting across from you that you find oddly attractive, say it. Risk something for petes' sake. You'll be dead soon anyway, what do you care!