My wife and I started eating healthy in 2008. Fresh produce, more fish, less red meat, and a moratorium on the processed foods, refined sugars, and other foods that made life oh so enjoyable up until now.

And I’m okay with it. I can eat healthy, as long as someone else cooks it for me. I even took a stab at healthy cooking myself, while my wife was sick. Garlic and onion Turkey burgers in pita pockets with red onions and provolone cheese. Delicious.

We’re spending less on groceries, losing weight, and feeling better.

But.

But I can’t say I don’t miss the days of consuming an entire pan of brownies, or the skyscraper-sized Mud Pie at the Elephant Bar.

Oh, the pizza at Round Table, which is all I’d eat. The Country Fried steak at Chili’s. I would gorge on the Cheddar Bay biscuits at Red Lobster. Oh, so many great tasting but heart-killing foods.

So we won’t go crazy. We won’t say we can’t ever have the stuff we used to eat.

I believe in moderation, but there’s no sense going overboard about it.

So for our daughter’s half-birthday, we went out for lunch and Ate Bad, including a Cheesecake/Chocolate Torte for dessert that was scrumptious.

And therefore, I propose a new Holiday: Gluttony Day.

See, we’re not on a diet. This is just the way we are going to live from now on. And what will keep us on this regimen will be the light at the end of the tunnel:

Gluttony Day. Every February 29th.

Once every four years, we can eat whatever we want, as much as we want.

I’m taking the day off work. We will probably spend several nights making lists of our most lusted-after foods, and planning the most efficient way to eat as much as we can from as many different food genres as we can.

After all there’s no sense just shoveling a whole large thick crust pepperoni and sausage from Round Table down one’s gullet and being too full for chocolate lasagna afterwards. There’s no style in that anyway.

Oh yes: this is a single day. That means no leftovers. Nothing can be saved to eat the next day or week. One day of foodbauchery, and then back to everyday healthy eating.

That will save money, and save our waistlines and resolve as well.

So we shall plan. And when the 29th comes, we shall reign. For a day, we shall be Kings and Queens, and consume the world.