RPattz, Biebs, KStew, JLaw: for some reason, the media loves adorning celebrities with awful nicknames. Not to mention the lame 'supercouple' portmanteaus like Bennifer, Kimye, Brangelina, and TomKat. I've often thought it must be annoying to have your famous name reduced to a silly made-up word, but according to Scarlett Johansson, calling her 'ScarJo' isn't just tacky, lazy, and insulting -- it's violent.

Yes: violent. I really do want to side with her on the ScarJo hate, but every time Johansson complains about her nickname, she ends up sounding ... well, like someone you don't feel terribly sorry for.

It's a laziness. People can't actually say the whole name? It's just bizarre.

My guess is that the nickname trend started happening when tabloid journalists had SEO word counts to consider -- 'ScarJo' fits on a headline much more easily than 'Scarlett Johansson', as does 'Brangelina' vs. 'Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie' -- but it IS annoying. It's like the plethora of cutesy abbreviations on parenting forums: how much time are you really saving by typing 'PG' instead of 'pregnant'?

But she kind of lost me when she went on to whine about how other actors don't get the same treatment:

How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn't subjected to like, 'DaDay'? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, 'CaBla'? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck with it?

Look, I don't really know for certain, but maybe it has to do with the roles they've taken and the awards they've won and their industry prestige and their lack of leaked nude photos? I'm just saying, Scarlett, this is a slightly awkward comparison.

In Glamour's May cover story, Johansson once again addresses the pain of being saddled with ScarJo:

I associate that name with, like, pop stars. It sounds tacky. It's lazy and flippant. And there's something kind of violent about it. There's something insulting about it.

Pop stars? Oh girl you did not just say that.

Uncool.

Like, seriously.

JLo diss aside, what do you think Johansson means by "there's something kind of violent about it"? I get the part where it's insulting and lazy and all, but violent? Is it because it has the word 'scar' in it? Is it because it makes her think of The Lion King? I don't understaaaaaaaaaand.

Anyway, the message has definitely been received: Scarlett Johansson hates her dumb tabloid nickname. I don't blame her, really, but complaining about it will never make it go away. Quite the opposite, in fact: