The shadow of the French Revolution has been sneaking up on Cornwall all season long, and in Poldark‘s Season 3 finale, many of the show’s most downtrodden characters staged their own revolutions. I’m not just talking about good Methodist Sam Carne (Tom York) rallying the poor to protest George Warleggan’s tyranny. Remember all those sad, overlooked wives last week? They all found a way to tip the scales in their unhappy marriages back in their favor.

Let’s start with Morwenna (Ellise Chappell). Now that her hot-for-Homer sister Rowella has caught the bad Reverend Whitworth’s eye, she doesn’t have to deal with postpartum marital rape on a nightly basis. But things aren’t so simple for Morwenna. She’s still being abused, albeit in a different kind of way. Her creep of a husband literally asks Dwight (Luke Norris) for a tincture to give Morwenna so she’s completely sedated while he’s boinking her sister. Rowella seems to be encouraging this.GIF: PBS
Why is Rowella so down to get down and dirty with her sister’s gross husband? Well, it could have something to do with the fact that Rowella is not actually dumb. She’s poor, but not dumb. I say this because as soon as she reveals that she is pregnant with Whitworth’s lust-child, she begins to play the part of puppet master. She cries crocodile tears and pulls a guilt trip on “Ozzie” and conveniently has a potential husband lined up to make an “honest” woman of her. That dude? The librarian who visited the house a while back. When he shows up, he deftly asks for a thousand pounds in hush money. When Whitworth declines, Rowella bides her time and then threatens to blackmail him with a detailed letter to the bishop. Whitworth relents and gives the girl 500 pounds. The problem? Morwenna overhears this.

Whitworth, you gross, mean, rape-y perv, you’re going down.

Morwenna does something rather daring. She tells Whitworth that if he doesn’t leave her alone forever, she will KILL THEIR SON. It works, but damn, Morwenna. That’s cold.

Elsewhere, things are still shitty between Elizabeth (Heida Reed) and George (Jack Farthing), who is back from Parliament, where he is doing a very bad, not great job. George distracts himself by toying with poor Drake (Harry Richardson). He doesn’t tell Tom Harry what to do to annoy the handsome charmer, so obviously Tom Harry decides to just do his worst. First, he lays waste to the smithy and then he burns it to the ground. After that, he does much worse. After Drake visits Trenwith to plead his case to Elizabeth — who hears it and takes his side – Tom Harry and his goons beat the bejesus out of Drake and leave him in a ditch to rot.GIF: PBS
Demelza (Eleanor Tomlinson) is very, very frustrated with Ross (Aidan Turner) — and not just sexually (though you can tell she’s horny for Hugh from the way she lovingly reads his simpering poetry). As the social order around them continues to crumble, she persists in imploring him to take up some form of leadership. “You’d have me play the hero,” he protests too much. “I’m not that man, Demelza! I’ve never been that man!” Um, Ross, you literally invaded a French prison camp to rescue one of your friends a few weeks back. All you have ever done is play the hero, except when it means playing within the rules of the establishment. Kudos to Turner, though, for playing this off with the exact same tint of irksome vanity used by Kristen Wiig in her “Don’t Make Me Sing” sketches.

Meanwhile, Hugh is going after Demelza hard. Pun very much intended. The pretty boy shows up at her house to declare his love, and his impending blindness. For once, Demelza is on the edge of betraying Ross. That’s because Prudie has revealed that she saw Ross and Elizabeth in the churchyard K-I-S-S-I-N-G. And because every part of this Hugh storyline is lit like a tween girl’s romantic fantasies. Frankly, I’m shocked they didn’t try to swap the soundtrack with some One Direction slow jams. Hugh leads her through the grass where he asks her to bone him before he goes blind. He calls the request, “tasting heaven,” which really does sound like the title of a boyband song. So Demelza gives in – how far she gives in, we’ll likely never know. (No really, the episode ends with Ross, like a sad puppy, attempting ask her how far she went with another man, and she’s like, “I’LL NEVER TELL.”)GIF: PBS
While this is all going on, a real revolution is underfoot. Sam is furious about his brother’s treatment and gets a taste of the communism. He says something like God doesn’t want him to stand idly by while the rich trample the poor. It turns Emma on. Her dad, Hookhand, too. They decide it’s time to rally the huddled masses to take down Warleggan where it hurts: his granary. (Can we talk about how easily Tom Harry cottons to the fact that an uprising is a foot? They just kind of let him show up and sigh?)GIF: PBS
Ross, who despite not wanting to take any responsibility, is the head of the local militia. Which means, when he gets word that danger is afoot, he is forced to charge into battle against… his friends.GIF: PBS
As the rival sides showdown, both on the brink of killing each other, Ross has another one of his Season 3 dream sequences. (He’s been having a lot of these, right? Like, why?) He sees the devastation that will occur if he refuses to backdown. He sees his friends killing each other in the streets…all to protect George’s grain. He suddenly understands the futility of all that comprises his life. Snapping out of this reverie of bloodshed, Ross proudly declares his candidacy for Parliament. And everyone…calms…down. I suppose the angry, starving, proletariat of Cornwall was just waiting for a candidate they could believe in.

Elizabeth is not calm. She repeatedly confronts George about his jealousy for Ross, explaining their marriage can’t last if they don’t let it go. He finally asks who Valentine’s baby daddy is and she lies. She tells him that she’s only ever been with Francis and him. Then, she takes the Holy Bible and lies (but not really because technically she did not give herself to Ross as he took her for himself). George explains that his jealousy is proof of his love, but it’s not enough. Elizabeth threatens to leave Trenwith unless George swears on the Holy Bible to not be a dick anymore. And he cries. He cries like a sad little slug.GIF: PBS

Ross returns home to discover that Demelza is gone. He also, like a sad slug, asks Prudie, “Is she coming back?” The truth is Prudie doesn’t know. So Ross sets off to look for her and instead finds George staring at the ocean like a madman. The two broken down men don’t know what to do with themselves. “What is it you believe, Ross?” George asks. Like a kid in an emo band, Ross replies, “That belief is a beautiful thing.”

Ross returns home alone and at the end of the day Demelza crawls back into bed with him. They embrace, and it is an embrace fraught with love and sadness and guilt and other complex stuff. All is not well, but things are better than they could be.

Anything else? Drake leaves Morwenna flowers and she tells him that she loves him. She can’t see him, but she knows he’s there, hiding and listening.GIF: PBS

And that’s it for Poldark Season 3. I understand that there’s a fourth season in production. I hope they give us more Pug.