It is, as Noddy Holder once loudly informed us, Christmas. At least it is for the music industry, where Christmas, the season of Greatest Hits, begins in mid-November. With the noble exception of AC/DC, who refuse to release a greatest hits on the grounds that it equates to a career obituary, nobody, from Steps to the Grateful Dead, is immune.

Of course the Grateful Dead do it their way. The exquisitely packaged Golden Road (Rhino, *** ) lasts for an outrageous 16 hours. It doesn't quite sap all will to live, although the 23-minute Viola Lee Blues comes close.

Greatest hits, though, is a pop notion. Charmless but harmless, Steps ' Gold: Greatest Hits (Jive, ** ) posits them as a bargain-basement Abba , whose The Definitive Collection (Polar, *****) remains the real thing. Steps's calling card is their Stepford Wives-esque ordinariness, and it's impossible to imagine them recording anything about the situation in Northern Ireland, as Boney M did in 1977: Belfast nestles surreally between Sunny and Hooray Hooray It's a Holi-Holiday on The Greatest Hits (BMG, *** ). Kim Wilde 's Cambodia, from The Very Best Of (EMI, ** ) is relatively tame, but it does have Boney M-style backing vocals.

All Saints ' maundering All Hits (London, ** ) proves that they were no Spice Girls; and Five , whose grisly Greatest Hits (RCA, * ) marks their passing, were no Backstreet Boys.

Madonna 's GHV2 (Warner Bros/Maverick, **** ) is sufficiently confident to avoid remixes or new tracks. Desperate times, however, call for desperate measures. The Cure 's Greatest Hits (Polydor, **** ) has not only a new song but a second CD featuring acoustic versions of all 18 tracks. Some of them - Let's Go To Bed, High - surpass the originals.

Middling superstars invariably go the safe-and-steady route. Two CDs apiece from Rod Stewart (The Story So Far: The Very Best Of, Warner Bros, **** ), the Bee Gees (The Record: Their Greatest Hits, Polydor, **** ), Aerosmith (Young Lust: The Anthology, Universal, *** ), the Smashing Pumpkins (Rotten Apples: Greatest Hits, Virgin, *** ) are primers for acts whose albums struggle to maintain the quality of their singles. All is not wholly what is seems: the Aerosmith collection begins in 1986 and the second Pumpkins CD is a plod through B-sides and "rarities", ie material too weak to make the original albums.

More substantial are Alice Cooper 's The Life & Crimes Of (Warner Archives, *** ), which covers 33 years over four CDs; the Doobie Brothers ' 78-track Long Train Runnin' 1971-1999 (WSM, *** ) which wastes one disc on "demos and roughs", and Emmylou Harris 's Portraits (WSM, **** ), which celebrates country's most heartstopping voice.

The forgotten artist is often worth reintroducing. In 1977, Cat Stevens weaned himself off music and embraced Islam. His eponymous four-CD box set (A&M, **** ) chronicles a lavishly gifted, if wet, talent.

Even when extant, Dead Can Dance were not so much forgotten as ignored. Yet their three-CD, one-DVD set, 1981-1998 (4AD, **** ) showcases an Australian duo who were unceasingly pretentious, but also pioneers, with their filmic, almost ambient approach and their bravery in using medieval instruments such as the viol on the gripping The Arrival & The Reunion. Primarily instrumental labelmates Colourbox were equally unheralded, but they did have a number one single, Pump Up the Volume, as part of M/A/R/R/S. It graces Best Of '82/'87 (4AD, **** ), but pales alongside The Official Colourbox World Cup Theme and the freewheeling Just Give 'Em Whiskey.

The obsessively secretive Enigma learned from myriad 4AD bands. Love, Sensuality, Devotion: The Greatest Hits (Virgin, **** ) is awash with melody and Return to Innocence is lovely beyond the call of duty.

"Doing a Beautiful South" means resurrecting a moribund career with a greatest hits. This year's first candidates are Ocean Colour Scene . Songs for the Front Row: The Best Of (Island, *** ) has a free live CD, but such marketing wheezes can't hide the fact that the Beautiful South had great songs to spare, while Ocean Colour Scene have The Day We Caught the Train and The Circle.

Scarily, the second would-be Beautiful Souths are the Beautiful South themselves, whose second greatest hits is almost a facsimile of the first. Solid Bronze - Great Hits (Mercury, **** ) is fine in itself but staggers beneath its pointlessness.

Green Day 's International Superhits! (Reprise, **** ) is packed with feisty little punk songs, and Simple Minds ' The Best Of (Virgin, **** ) is pompous, bombastic and silly, but a guilty pleasure. Deacon Blue , however, take two CDs and 36 songs to celebrate the average on The Very Best Of (Columbia, ** ). They could never understand how to thrill.

The ever-growly Busta Rhymes works his designer socks off on Turn It Up! The Very Best (Elektra, **** ) by attacking each song as though it had mortally offended him, and Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check is hip-hop at its most exhilarating.

Finally there is the curse of packaging. The Teardrop Explodes ' The Greatest Hit (Mercury, *** ) and the Style Council 's The Collection (Spectrum, ** ) look cheap, mirroring the music's 1980s tinnyness. Simon & Garfunkel 's The Columbia Studio Recordings 1964-1970 (Columbia/Legacy, **** ) comprises their five studio albums. The lush, thoughtful music occasionally bristles with genius, but it's served in a plastic tray that Tesco would reject as being too cheap to house their haddock fillets.