Maggie Alderson's Milan buzz

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Something I always enjoy observing in European cities is the inverse snobbery of the bicycle - it doesn't mean you can't afford a car, it means you live right in the expensive middle of town and you can just pedal from one divine little rendezvous to the next. Milan is very flat with a mini-maze of a one-way traffic system, so a bike is a good way to get around that town. As long as you maintain a leisurely pace as you leave the Bulgari Hotel in a Brioni suit, like a stylish cyclist I saw. He steered with one manicured hand and held his mobile with the other, in full conversational flow. And please note it must be an old-fashioned upright bike, like his. A 24-gear aluminium racer, with spray-on shorts and an ergonomic Smurf helmet, is not the look at all.

Skirt the issue

Here's confirmation that, with the exception of jeans, pants really are not where it's at. Thanks to an unusually good view from the front row of MaxMara (someone more important failed to show up), I noted not a single pair of trousers in the front row opposite (apart from those on US Vogue fashion director Grace Coddington, who doesn't count, because she always wears pants). One problem with dressing like a lady is that you have to remember to sit like one, too. Crossing your legs like a truck driver, with one ankle on the other knee, is great in jeans but not a good idea in a pencil skirt. Especially in that front row.

Heavenly descent

The Bulgari is the latest of a rash of luxury hotels opened in Milan and the most divine. No wonder Karl Lagerfeld was staying in the rooftop suite - the place is heaven. On a private road tucked away behind the big Emporio Armani store (near Emperor Armani's own dwelling) and with extensive mature gardens, it is an oasis of calm amid the fashion frenzy. (US editors who stay in less fashionable hotels and refer to it as the Vulgari Hotel are just jealous.) The most heavenly place to sit, especially during the amazing weather in Italy this October, is on the huge sofas outside the bar terrace, below. The only threat to your zen state is conkers falling on your head from the surrounding horse chestnut trees - although watching it happen to other people passes the time pleasantly.

The locusts wear Prada

If you want to do some serious designer shopping in Milan - and most fashion people do - you have to get straight off the plane and into the stores. By Thursday, the rails at the main Prada clothing boutique on Via Montenapoleone looked as if a plague of shopping locusts had been through (and most people didn't get into town until Monday). The city's luxury brand boutiques do 60 per cent of their annual business during the twice-yearly fashion weeks. Fashionistas head for the shopping Bermuda triangle between Via Montenapoleone and Via della Spiga (the contents of your wallet disappear) and also for the big Zara store on Corso Vittorio Emmanuele, where outstanding items include a wine needlecord skirt in summer 2005's crucial tiered '70s peasant style, an item of genius for $29.50.

The Bulgari in Milan.

Stand and deliver

The monstrous faux pas at the Dolce & Gabbana show was not Milan fashion week's only seating nightmare. (The D&G crew held up the show for 70 minutes, waiting for three front-row celebs slated to sit alongside Victoria Beckham. The trio didn't appear, so D&G filled the seats with nobodies. The models were just on the runway when Priscilla Presley, Lisa Marie Presley and her daughter Riley Keough turned up. They stood for the rest of the show.) Two days earlier, the Prada show started a mere 20 minutes late (40 is the norm) and the lights went down just as French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld was walking in. The occupier of her front row seat would not yield it so she stood, too.

All aboard

A cute window display seen at the Biffi boutique in Corso Genova: a constantly changing airport departures board of fashion show times. Might have helped the Presley girls get to theirs' on time.

Big green monster

Milan's strangest culture clash: fashionistas versus fans of Glasgow football team Celtic, in town for a European Champions League game against AC Milan. Seeing the fans at a distance, rolling drunk through the Piazza del Duomo in their green and white team colours was one thing - sitting next to them at perennially popular fashion restaurant Bagutta was quite another, especially when they started singing. Almost enough to put you off wearing green.