Goblins & Pendulum Swings

I’ve met people who have gone from one polarity of shy wallflower doormats to the extreme opposite polarity of bossy narcissists. Talk about the pendulum swinging from starting point to end point!

When people change themselves there is usually a disruption. It’s like dipping your toes in the water. You want to test the waters. Then the water feels so good that you jump in and start to drown. It’s rare when people change that they just change in the beginning for the first time without any disruption. There’s this quote, “Sometimes you have to eat all the chocolate before you quit eating chocolate!”

I’ve known a lady who was so prudish and you would not want to touch that thing with a ten foot pole! She would be tight ass about every single detail. You wouldn’t want her talking to you because she had a repellent energy that was so controlling. She was trying too hard. There came a point she wanted to become sexy like her other sister. Okay, when your aura has been ingrained with something so long, it takes a long time to undo it. In the beginning of her transformation she felt off, like she was trying too hard to be like a teenager. She changed from nun or scrub doctor wear to skin tight jeans, and even dyed her hair punk colors. She literally looked like a hard-nosed lawyer or doctor when I first met her because of the way she carried herself. At the time her style/ fashion matched this personality she showcased. There is nothing wrong with either of these extremes of prudishness to wildness. What is off is when the energy of a person doesn’t match the outer appearance, ie, incongruence.

Now, if this lady felt comfortable and at peace in her element of being sexy, the sudden jump from conservative to flirty would not have felt off. When something or someone feels off, it’s because it is incongruent. To be congruent is when one’s inner world matches or resonates with one’s outer world. This can be displayed in many levels. But, perception and what one is willing to face and see with regards to oneself and others is another story.

The energy that is emitted from a person’s aura tells us if the style or fashion matches that person’s energy.

Over time, this lady backed off because I guess she realized she was putting out the vibe that she was trying too hard and it was off-putting.

When she eased into becoming less of a control freak and relaxed her personality, her aura transformed to fit the new style she was stepping into. This is the true transformation. She got what she wanted in learning how to feel sexy and embodying sexy. Her energy had to shift in order to be congruent with the new, youthful, sexy, playful image she was stepping into.

When the energy of the person matches the outer way he or she displays herself, from actions, to fashion/ style, people, environment, and lifestyle, they become more trustworthy. Why? The flow of energy is congruent so there is not incoherence. Instead there is a coherence which is more whole and smooth and this is what causes the human psyche to trust something or people. The trust factor is there when more things match, or are in alignment, or are congruent. To display yourself as something you are not will put people off and cause them to not trust you.

We all have different aspects to ourselves, just like actors. We can tap into different recesses of our soul. We can access and showcase different facets from our personal experiences. When a person’s experiences are limited, so is their color pallette range of tapping into, or painting what they feel. When people go through such profound experiences on all polar ends of the spectrum, they are more versatile in understanding others, themselves, having compassion, and authentically relating to people versus pretending to know what others go through. An artist I admire and respect once told me, “The deeper the pain, the deeper the joy.” So, the shallower the pain, the shallower the joy. I, personally, can enjoy things more because of appreciation I’ve honed into because of the contrast of all the suffering I have had as my personal experiences.

Have compassion for yourself and others when they are delving into the opposite extremes of what you formerly knew them as. They don’t know any better, until they have the experience. I had to get dirty, or experience a lot of shitty experiences in order to realize those are not the experiences I want. I have been bullied. I have been the bully, even through passive aggressive exclusion in junior high school.

I have friends who have never experienced confidence, power, sexiness, control, attention, or bossiness before, and they are not pleasant to interact with because they are living out their ego self. This is the goblin card in some decks. They were sweet before, but sometimes we all need that opposite extreme to get it out of our system before we get off the high horse and ground ourselves with virtues such as grace and humility again. It’s annoying to say the least. Sometimes we have to give them space when they become difficult.

How do I deal with it? I say, either physically, and or energetically, “I still love you, but don’t want to be around you when you’re like this. I forgive you, but come back to me when you are ready to keep it real, 100, grounded, and humble.” Sometimes it hurts because they backstab or frontstab you. But if the relationship is worth it, it may turn up to making amends again. If not, you know to kick it to the curb!

Human nature. Expect the pendulum swings in others, yourself, mother nature, all aspects and relationships in life.