The Anton Paradox

Who in
society has the clout left for an effective opposition being possible
against the rape in of society by the oligarchy of empire? Who ever had such
clout? One of the subliminal rape 'slogans' of empire to humanity is, You
Have No Cloud!

The goal is
to disable opposition to empire breaking down civilization, science,
culture, and the physical and spiritual support structures of society.

The dialog unfolds in the background to a
fictional peace conference

in Moscow near the end of the Soviet era.
The dialog comprises
a chapter of the novel, Seascapes and Sand, by Rolf Witzsche.

Transcript

The snow-filled streets provided a sanctuary for talking about everything Ushi and I cared to address. The snow muffled the sound. And apart from that, English wasn't commonly spoken. Ushi and I could talk about Anton more freely in the streets. I told her that I felt hurt by what had happened between me and Anton, because her accusation belied the openness that had unfolded during the evening before. I said that it hurt in part for the reason she has stated, but that it also hurt, because it reflects a far deeper self-isolation, deep within her, than had become apparent during our conversation the night before. I told Ushi that I hadn't paid much attention to it, then.

"The barrier appears to be rooted in her isolation against any kind of sexual feelings," I said to
Ushi. "Antonovna had evidently been hurt by this far more than she dares to admit to herself. She wanted to talk about sex, but there was always a deep-seated fear attached to it. She brought the subject of sex up several times, and then shied away from it and accused me of wanting to exploit it. She seems to isolate herself against any kind of intimacy in sharing one-another's loving. She seems to be drawn into a kind of isolation that keeps her away from the rich elements of human existence. She seems to be the kind of person that seeks the solitude of an empty landscape, to escape the social complexities, while she really wants the very opposite. She hates the solitude, and it seems that she wants to get out of this box, but is afraid to open the door to the real world. Sex seems to be at the center of it all. It causes her pain. Of course I can understand why she finds it hurtful. Still I seem to be at a loss in trying to help her. Every approach seems to fail."

"Are you saying that you talked about sex?" Ushi asked. Ushi's face revealed a sense of shock and horror. "You are lucky that she stuck with you for the entire dinner. Normally she walks out in minutes when the subject of sex enters the scene."

"We talked about sex over dinner for three nights, and even afterwards for four hours on the last day. I didn't bring the subject up," I said to
Ushi. "Antonovna brought it up. She always took the initiative and then closed the door. Almost right from the very beginning she allowed me to call her, Anton, as a special privilege, just for me, and even then she had attached a notion of sex to it. However we only explored the subject of sex on the universal level, and explored the barriers created against it in the Byzantine system of vertical domination. We also talked about the opposite to domination, the platform of freedom based on scientific development and the discovery of universal principles, and then the ultimate, the lateral model that reflects the Principle of Universal Love. Mostly, we talked about the political aspects that can be used as a kind of metaphor for all three models. It seemed easier to talk about politics, than to talk about sex directly, but eventually we talked about both since both are equally intertwined with the Principle of Universal Love, even at the grass roots level. Unfortunately, Anton found the political aspects just as scary."

"Don't judge her, Peter," said Ushi. "Antonovna grew up in her own private Byzantine world of top down domination. She knows what it is like when one is stomped into the ground, and is barely able to lift ones head."

"Ushi, are you talking about her having been raped? I know about it. She told me."

Ushi shook her head. "No Peter, it wasn't just rape in her case. I'm talking about systematic abuse. Anton had been exploited for many years in her own home where she grew up, by her own family. It is often a curse you know, to grow up as a beautiful girl in a loveless society, and more so in a strongly religious hierarchical family environment where the imperial vertical system is deeply rooted, where obedience to authority is strongly ingrained. Antonovna had never been able to feel the joy of discovering her worth, of reaching out with her own love to enrich one-another's life. She had been demanded and coerced and given no option at all, but to comply. It might have been her father that abused her, or relatives, or both. She keeps the details locked up in herself."

"You are getting close to the truth, Ushi," I said. "She was abused by three uncles simultaneously, and later by her own mother. Her father stood impotently aside, unable to help, and thereby abetted the rape. Every Wednesday her father and mother would leave the house to let the rape by her uncles proceed, and later, after the uncles were killed in war, only her father would leave, and you can probably guess why."

"She told you all that?"

"She did so reluctantly, Ushi. It took her a long time to get to it, but she did tell me the entire ugly story."

"Wow, Peter! That's amazing. But are you surprised that such things happen, and that a victimized person is ashamed to even talk about it? The whole world says that top-down vertical domination is the way to go. We do it politically. We do it militarily. We do it financially. We do it ideologically. We do it in every perceivable aspect, and it is all a form of rape. Maybe we are all a kind of trapped into this in various ways."

"That's what I told Anton," I said. "I pointed out to her, that Russia has been under this yoke for a thousand years already. The only difference that I can see is that Anton has been hit with sexual rape in addition to all the other forms of rape, and this right at the home that should have been a sanctuary. She had no safe place to go to hide from all this."

Ushi suggested that my exposing to Anton the nature of the Byzantine model, might have stirred up a lot of dormant feelings, without Anton even recognizing the connection.

"The awakening may have come later," I said to
Ushi. "The pain always comes first. And she did feel that pain. What hurts me, is that I stirred this pain up again, that she tried to forget. How could I have known, however, what lay in her background?"

"Can you imagine the 'torture' she may have felt when being subjected to such intense domination that leaves a person no way out?" said
Ushi. "She had felt the full weight of the doctrine of the 'right of kings' within the closeness of her own family."

"The family that should have been a sanctuary uplifted by love," I said, "had turned her days of growing up into a long night of hopelessness, not just a nightmare,
Ushi. A nightmare goes away in the morning. What she experienced blackened her life with inescapable forces that were demanding her subjection. We can't imagine what it must be like to be robbed of one's opportunity to love," I said. "She must have felt in those days, that her very soul was torn out of her, by having to perform on command as a sacrificial resource for the elation of others."

"If you love her, Pete," said Ushi, "as you evidently do, you must help her, gently, to free herself from the darkness of her past. What she evidently needs most, is to become proud of herself again as a human being, and most of all as a woman, which she is, to the point that she can love herself again freely out the riches of her own humanity, and others on the same platform."

Ushi added that the worst abuse she could personally imagine was the abuse of ones love. "I have always loved my father. I can't imagine what it would have done to me to see this love betraying me."