I have shadowed leaders of countries. I have disarmed spies brandishing pistols and other deadly weapons. I freed countrymen from prisons, existed without food or drink for days, flaunted my identity in disguise, saved countless lives in service to my country, and thwarted a French tyrant bent on world domination. But, for the very life of me, I cannot persuade a certain lady to consider becoming my countess!

Since an incident at a posting inn near London, I can think of nothing but bedding this certain lady—her name is Madeline—which as it turns out, would be fortuitous and productive (in that as my dear insistent grandmother maintains, it is time I produce an heir.)

What, I ask you, is wrong with channeling my desire for Madeline and her sensuous, ripe body into the legitimacy of marriage? Especially when she is the spinster daughter of a friend who once saved my life!

Her objections?

“You are a nobleman. I am an upper-class servant. And I have always chaffed at the pretensions and dictates of society.”(I myself have always been the black sheep of my family. My career as a spy has been a blot on my family’s ledger. My marrying outside the ton should come as no surprise to my dear grandmother.)

“I am plain.”(As I know only too well, beauty can be cause for jealousy and strife. I value loyalty over beauty any day. And has this dear woman availed herself of a mirror? Her body is lush and ripe with curves. Her lips are irresistible!)

“I am outspoken.”(So? If I wanted obedience, I would forsake marriage and avail myself of a canine companion.)

“I do not waltz.”(This is something I should object to?)

“I intend to secure employment.”(Good for her! When a lady possesses keen intelligence such as Madeline’s, it should not be wasted. In fact, I shall assist her in finding respectable employment, whereby she can utilize her magnificent mind.)

I have been looking for a woman who challenges me. With her refreshingly frank manner and provocative wit, Madeline would keep me on my toes. I would enjoy sparring with her, despite her outsized pride and prickly independence—or even because of them.

I shall simply have to sharpen my powers of persuasion and seduce her into accepting my proposal.

Wish me luck, my friends. And if you have tips to share on this challenge facing me, I shall welcome them indeed.