A gorilla's existential crisis

tuesday poetry

Suspended
On the brink of surrender
To the anger that blinks
Using breath as your anchor
Trying to step back, unthink
Watching your words
Like butterlies caged in your mouth
Waiting, biding your time
Keeping the bulls in their cages
Till the red flag can fly

It’s gonna be a slow day
I’m taking in the view
As if I’m still watching you
Because you’re the valve

That’s missing from my heart
And I need you
To put me in the wrong direction
So I can get high
And then fall back down to earth
Cuz right now I’m in limbo
And from this point of view
All I can see is you
And what I shouldn’t have said or done
I need a catalyst

Your smile is a treacherous road
To kiss upon
Because the strings that pull the corners up
Are easily swung
In to that contemptuous frown
Because you’re highly strung
And I wish I could say I could relax your soul
But I’m intensity personified
You might be taut
But you’ve got nothing
On my mind.

The words come
easy go
because I feel hard done
Oh woe is me woe is woe
Got a blue heart
Thrashing against my bones
Feeling thoughts, I don’t even know
The way the words are supposed to go
Building walls
Without foundations
Climbing ladders
With falling rungs
Maybe if I just smoke
All these things into my lungs
Till I’m bluer than grey
With my name etched in stone
More permanent than my existence
Are the words on my tongue.