Let’s start with the intestinal cleanse and my thoughts on it as of this point. My honest thoughts. I’ve been nice with my thoughts the last few days. First, I should have been taking it up through about noon tomorrow, but due to the lack of exact measurements used for mixing it, I actually ran out a full day ahead of schedule. That’s fine. I am beyond done with it and unless something really drastic happens really soon, I will not be repeating this particular experiment. On last Sunday, I weighed in at 194.7 pounds. I had shown a gain on that date of 1.3 pounds, but I figured since I was within my Points+ the previous week, it would drop off quickly. On Tuesday, I started the cleanse. I checked my weight on and off over the next few days, and saw it was not going down- in fact, after I got out of the bath this evening, I was over 200 pounds. No matter what I have eaten in the last few weeks, I have never seen my clothed weight get above 197, and at this point, I was naked and hadn’t eaten heavily over the course of the day. Since I started the cleanse, I have been drinking the normal 50 or 60 oz of fluids I usually do, plus an additional 80 oz of fluid with the cleanse. That’s definitely enough to stay hydrated. Unfortunately, except for two big bowel movements, one on I think it was Thursday morning and one on Friday morning, I’ve felt largely backed up, incredibly bloated, and I can actually see the bloat in my belly, not just feel it. My pants do not fit.

Now according to reviewers of this fine product, you’re supposed to stay hydrated, and you’ll be shitting like crazy. I am drinking so much water the last few days I feel waterlogged, sloshy, and ill. A few people mentioned slight bloating in the first 24 hours. I have not had “slight” bloating; I have had extreme bloating, and despite also increasing my intake of the Intestinal Formula #1 capsules which I have taken every day for many months and that I do know help me, stuff just isn’t moving like it should be. And unless I manage to have a mammoth bowel movement tonight and tomorrow morning, my weigh in tomorrow is going to be horrible, for which I am not pleased at all. I really want to review this on Amazon, but I’m biting my tongue for a few more days until my body gets back to normal again. I want to know if this bloating, weight gain, and general feeling that I look gross is going to pass in a reasonable amount of time.

And as I was expecting, food was just plain bad this week. Was it “gain 11 pounds in 5 days” bad? No. Not even close. But I did go over my week’s allowance by 8 Points+. 8 freaking Points+! I can only hope after this cleanse is completely out of my system that my weight will drop down quite a bit because this is for the birds. Here’s today’s food diary.

What

Points

Cottage Cheese (1 Cup)

6

Tuna w/Italian Dressing

2

Pineapple

0

Wienerschnitzel Chili Dog (2)

16

Wienerschnitzel Corn Dog

7

Wienerschnitzel Regular Fries

8

Cottage Cheese (1 Cup)

6

Banana (1)

0

Food Totals

45

So, yes, I admit Wienerschnitzel was a bad choice for dinner. I probably did not need 2 chili dogs and a corn dog and fries. And after I ate all of that, an hour later I was starving again- which is why the cottage cheese and the banana later on. But by the time the end of the day rolled around, I’d seen the scale, I’d seen it all week actually, I flat out did not care. And honestly, right this minute, I want to eat a bowl of ice cream, or some yogurt, or maybe some ramen because at this moment, eating my frustrations sounds like a good idea, but I know its not. I’m not going to eat my feelings.

Did anything good happen today? Yes. I cashed out on another survey company and also got my Amazon gift card code. I applied the PayPal payment from one towards my BillMeLater balance, and used the Amazon code to buy the second book in the Fifty Shades trilogy because I apparently hate myself. The writing is absolute garbage, but they are entertaining garbage. And putting that $12.50 towards the BillMeLater account means I have that much less to put towards it next month, and it will be a bit easier to pay off the balance in full in a few weeks. Every penny counts, and when I do pay it of, I’ll have a little survey money left which I may just stick in the bank for when I do need it, or I might say fuck it and get something to treat myself- a new book, something not food related.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully with something good to say. I really did want to be doing a video tonight to wrap up my ranting on the cleanse, but I would have been talking in my super awkward on-camera manner all night.