Vaginismus Forum

Welcome to the new home of the Vaginismus Forum, formerly at Vaginismus MD, created by Dr. Peter Pacik. This is a supportive environment for people to discuss concerns and frustrations, share ideas, experiences, and support each other.
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you can call me shazi, the only problem is when i had botox the largest dilator was inserted when i was unconscious but when i woke up i dropped it. Then i tried to practice at home after few days but could not progress more than number 1. i asked the practitioner who did this procedure for me who says try try again and its all in my head. Now its been 8 weeks that i had this procedure so not sure if botox is still effective ? i use aqua gel with dilation , i am in UK so won’t be able to travel there but would be really grateful if any services or help can be provided distantly , its been 9 years since i got married and never had sex so really want to get over with my issue therefore any assistance would be really appreciated.

Shazi, it’s not clear to me where you did the botox treatment, but the practitioners should be working with you and NOT telling you i’ts all in your head. You should be in regular with them. Where are you located?

Thank you for your reply , i am based in east London.
Went to NHS but they said vaginismus is all in head and psychological issue so they referred me to the pyshcosexual theropitst , the only date was available to NHS was one in six months which i attended and nothing happened just filled few forms and answered silly questions then came back home. then i went to the private medical practitioner in central london who did the procedure but after procedure when i mailed them for follow up they ask to book appointment and each appointment was costing me a fortune with the same answer that i should keep trying as its all in head therefore i cannot go back to them and book more appointments as don’t have much time , patience and money to waste with them, through internet i found this site and useful advice so i thought i should be a part of this forum.

Hello Congtythamtu,
Grateful for all your suggestion, ok i will start from No 1 today to leave in overnight and will try Number 2 in Mornings throughout the week.
not sure if i am using the right dilators as well as i cannot see No 6 , Lol.
i have set of 5 (0,1,2,3,4) Amellie comfort , do you suggest that i should buy another dilators set?
This was the reason i asked about vagi wave as i read on site that this does not come out due to its design but the site looks bit awful as no customer services or email address is available , looks like a scam.

This is the set that we use for our Botox Procedures. They are made of silicone and not plastic, and are much more comfortable to sleep with. There are six sizes, which make transition from small sizes to larger sizes easier.

I don’t recommend patients sleep with any size larger than the #4, but usually once someone is consistently sleeping or using #4, they can transition to #5 and #6 without needing to sleep with the larger sizes.

As for the vagi wave, I am skeptical. Some reviews are good, and others not good at all. I would concentrate on traditional dilation with a better set of dilators.

Hi Shazi. I am so, so happy that you got the silicone dilators and I completely agree that they are much more comfortable than the plastic ones. In regards to your question about dilating while on your period, I wanted to share the following thread which also describes this sensitivity for others:
Patient 1:
“Are we supposed to dilate while on our cycle? It just seems like it would be kind of gross? Adversely, if we don’t, then we skip almost a full week of dilating. I’m open to all advice, comments, and suggestions.”
Patient 2:
“That’s a great question and I’m sure a very common one. For me personally, I skipped dilating during the first 3 days of my cycle and then resumed dilating during my last 2 days. In the beginning, I was so afraid that if I skipped any amount of time with the dilators, then I would never be able to dilate again. This wasn’t the case at all. Again, in the beginning, if it ever felt a little tightness dilating after my period, I would begin with purple and work my way up to blue. I also used a lot of lubricant.”
Patient 3:
“I had my cycle only 2 weeks after having procedure. However my periods are very heavy and I didn’t want to dilate. Normally my cycle last a full 6-7 days I as able to dilate after the 4th day. I didn’t seem to have much trouble with reinserting it after waiting 4 days.”
Patient 4:
“I started my menstrual on Day 12 Post Procedure and I decided not to dilate for the first 3 days because I have such a heavy flow. I was a little nervous about stopping because I was dilating everyday faithfully and wanted to continue with my progress. Fortunately, everything was fine when I started dilating again when my flow was a lot lighter. I started with the smaller blue silicone, which I had never even used before but I wanted to make sure that I had no pain (which I didn’t it was more anxiety than anything else). The small blue went in so quickly I forgot that I was dilating. I was nervous that I was not going to angle it right since I had not dilated in 3 whole days. It was really funny because I try to think about something else when dilating and when I got the thought in my head it was completely in!!! I had to laugh at how anxious I was about the procedure and how my body reacted to dilating again. Like I said before “I need to catch up emotionally to where I am physically.” I was able to dilate back up to the pink with no problem. Now I am on to conquering Mr. Blue and making penile penetration possible!”
Finally, Dr. Pacik has posted on the question of whether you should dilate on your menstrual cycle:
“It depends on how heavy the cycle is. For lighter cycles some dilation is possible, for heavier cycles skip the first few days. Even 5-10 minutes is valuable. This however is an excellent time to use a tampon. This is another form of penetration which most of my patients have been unable to use. Dr. Pacik”

Heather and Melissa,
Thank you for your time.
I have now reached 3 and managed to sleep with 3.
Plastic ones were impossible , thanks for the idea of silicon ones. 😊
Please let me know any tips for dilator 4 as this is very challenging and any guidance for the transition from dilator to intercourse.
Many many thanks
shazi

I would dilate in the morning after sleeping with the dilator over night.
You can also consider a hot bath prior to dilation, as that can help relax muscles.
Lots of good lubricant. Coconut oil for many patients can work really well.
I always recommend dilation immediately prior to attempting intercourse. Put the largest dilator you can insert, and let that stay inside for a good 10-15 minutes. Possibly even move it in and out a few times. Then remove the dilator and have your partner penetrate. The first few times you try to have intercourse it will be very mechanical, and almost an extension of dilation, but that is ok in the beginning. Once you are comfortable with penetration with a penis, you can work on the romance.

Congtythamtu Women’s Sexual Health

Congtythamtu advocates diagnosis of and treatment for the physical causes of female sexual dysfunction, as well as any underlying psychological influences, by integrating education and psychological counseling with medical techniques specifically to help you achieve a full and satisfying sex life.