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Author
Topic: Just came back from the doctor (Read 4844 times)

I've just got back from the doctor and I tested poz. I knew I was poz since December when I had to cope with the acute stage of the Hiv infection: fever, headaches, rash. On September last year I was infected, but at that time I didn't know because even the person who infected me also didn't know he was poz. One day out of the blue he stopped talking to me. No words at all. Our relationship was going so fine. I couldn't understand at first. When I had the acute stage everything was clear to me. He found out he was poz and didn't want to tell me. In fact he vanished away. I haven't heard from him since then. I even went to Berlin to try to talk to him, but he didn't pick up my phone calls. As soon as I got better from the acute stage I travelled to Europe for a month and I got back to Brazil a few weeks ago, so I had the test done.

When I was in Europe and I kinda knew I was infected, I started to search online for more infrmation about Hiv and what it is like to live with it. Then I found this forum and I've been reading it ever since.

You guys have no idea how much it helped me and it still does. I'm 25 and because of all the information I've been reading so far I could handle the news very well. I had the Elisa done a few weeks ago and it was poz and today I had the results for WB and it's poz as well.

My doctor, who is an inteligent funny guy, told me that since the Dec. 1st 2013 doctors in Brazil decided to give meds to everyone who is Hiv+ no matter how long they have been infected. He told me that I should start taking meds tomorrow. As I'm travelling tomorrow morning, I decided to start on Monday. I'll do it but I am a little bit concerned about the side effects. He said that it may last for about 3 weeks - but it's uncertain as people experience different kinds of reactions. I've got lots of blood exams to be done in the next couple of days. I was so relieved to know that in Brazil all the medication is provided by the federal government, so I don't need to spend money on them. I'm really surprised with this. Brazil is usually shit regarding health care. Good to know we are improving.

Next week I'll know some more information about CD4 and Virus Load.

Anyway, I usually don't write on forums because I always felt that nobody would ever reply to me. After one month this forum, I decided to tell my story.

This forum has really helped me too, and I'm handling the news alright (Haven't cried yet, guess in shock still). I would definitely receive treatment even if my CD4 was greater than 500. If you do a Google search on early treatment, you should come up with a lot of reading material. The medications are designed to prevent replication in various different ways, so getting started early may lead to being undetectable. However, I'm also worried about side-effects for myself. I have a job to maintain so I can keep health insurance. Sounds like you have a good doc at least.

I'm also sorry to hear that the person you were in a relationship cut you off over this. That would be tough for me. I haven't been in a relationship in 3 years. Hopefully it wasn't him that gave this to me, but I'm thinking it was a hookup after the relationship. I only bottom (except 3 times) so I think my chances were more unfavorable, yet I chose to forgo testing since late 2010 (feel like a big f*ckup ).

As others have told me, don't stress too much and you'll be fine. Dr. Google will be your best and worst friend (at least for me). Based on your story and how early you caught this, I would start treatment despite your test results. Maybe someone with more experience and knowledge can weigh in on the question of treatment.

Sorry for your test results. Sounds like you are dealing with it well so far. Catching the infection so early is really good, and you will be able to preserve your immune system.

As far as the meds, I understand the nervousnes about starting, but your doctor is right. Individuals react differently, and you can't know for sure how you will. That being said, the odds are very much in your favor. Most have no or very mild side effects after the first couple weeks. Early treatment also has a lower incident of side effects.

I'm so glad to hear that your meds will be covered. That is really fortunate, as that can be a big struggle for many.

It is very good indeed to know that I found out about my status very early. I am starting my treatment on monday despite the results of all the exams. I had all the blood samples collected today for analysis and I'll get the results in a couple of weeks.

I showed my doctor the results for CD4, which is 367. He said that as it is an early infection, it is very likely that my CD4 will increase again soon even if I don't take any meds, however it'll decrease some time in the future as they are the cells which are destroyed by the virus. For this reason he recommends that I should start taking my medication right away.

Pittman, you're right! I have been dealig with it well so far. Just like some_user123, I haven't cried yet and that's weird for me. I can't tell if I'm in shock, so that would be the reason for no tears (it doesn't seem to me that I am) or if I accepted it all perfectly. Concerning the guy who infected me, I am not angry or upset with him by cutting me off and hiding it all from me. He might be facing a much more difficult time than I am. I just think it's a pity that we cannot go through all this together, but people have their choices in life, some of them aren't the same as ours and we have to respect that. So I respect his decision and I hope that he is fine wherever he is.

Some_user123, you said you're afraid of side effects because of your job. So you haven't started your treatment yet? My doctor told me that I will have to ingest 4 pills, all at once, once a day before going to bed. He said that I should take them before going to bed exactly because of the side effects. According to him, possible side effects are dizziness, nausea, vivid dreams and maybe diarrhea. By the morning, I would be OK as I slept through them. I don't know how much it will be true to me, but I'll do as he says. I'll keep you updated with my reactions. I'm also concerned with my job. I'm terribly afraid of going sick at work and people start questioning what's wrong with me as I'm not ready for telling anyone about this.

...My doctor, who is an inteligent funny guy, told me that since the Dec. 1st 2013 doctors in Brazil decided to give meds to everyone who is Hiv+ no matter how long they have been infected. He told me that I should start taking meds tomorrow. As I'm travelling tomorrow morning, I decided to start on Monday. I'll do it but I am a little bit concerned about the side effects. He said that it may last for about 3 weeks - but it's uncertain as people experience different kinds of reactions...

Hey New,

It sounds like you are doing everything you can, to adjust to your status and that attitude will serve you well as you learn to live with HIV. I have been taking anti-HIV meds for 28 years and the advice I always give folks just starting meds, is to learn the side effects of any drugs, but do not expect you will suffer from any of them. The mind can be very powerful in how we perceive major events in life and starting medications that you will most probably have to take for the rest of your life, is at the top of the list.

I want you to know about any possible side effects, so that you can treat them immediately, however, I caution you against expecting to have side effects, because many people have little or no side effects. I urge you to believe, that what you are doing, in taking meds, is an affirmation of your desire to thrive, in spite of being poz and that you will adapt to the new medications with little or no issues.

It is sort of the "half-empty" or "half-full" glass idea. If you believe that you can do this, then you can do it and do it in such a way, that it limits the adjustment for you, to your medications. In the event that you do experience some side effects, please remember that most side effects are temporary, or they can be treated successfully. The worst case that could happen, is you have to change a drug choice, but that can happen and all it means, is you need to try something different to get the same desired effect.

None of us can tell you how your journey with HIV will be, however, we will always be here to help you on that journey, in any way that we can.

I know that our mind is quite powerful and that it can play tricks on us if we overthink something. I'm trying not to think about the side effects, but as this is all knew to me I can't help it.

I have it very clear in my mind the reason I'm taking the meds and I know that from the moment I start, I won't stop anymore for the rest of my life. This is something big! For the reasons that: I love my life, love travelling, love talking to people and meeting new ones, dancing and singing, I have no objections in taking the meds. I'll need them to keep doing the things I love.

There is one thing that also concerns me that I haven't mentioned before. And if the meds don't work out well for some reason? I try not to think about this too much, I just tell myself that there is no reason to think about something that I cannot have the answer right now.

Joe, you've been living with Hiv for 28 years. I would like to ask you a few questions, but feel free not to answer if you don't feel comfortable, ok? I would like to know if you told your family and friends as soon as you found out about your status and how they reacted. Also, have you suffered any kind of rejection ever since from anyone?

Hopefully I will start treatment soon, because I think my cd4 is low based on some symptoms. My appointment is monday with my new doctor so hoping its not too low. Even if I don't find out all of my lab results, I'm not sure how fast they determine which meds to put you on (there's so many!) I have a 2-day work conference to attend in a little more than a week, so hopefully symptoms are not too extreme. My employer cannot know about this!

...There is one thing that also concerns me that I haven't mentioned before. And if the meds don't work out well for some reason? I try not to think about this too much, I just tell myself that there is no reason to think about something that I cannot have the answer right now.

Joe, you've been living with Hiv for 28 years. I would like to ask you a few questions, but feel free not to answer if you don't feel comfortable, ok? I would like to know if you told your family and friends as soon as you found out about your status and how they reacted. Also, have you suffered any kind of rejection ever since from anyone?...

Hey New,

I think it is perfectly normal to be concerned about whether the drugs will work or not, however, please remember that there are now many drugs to treat HIV, so if the first drugs do not work out, there are other options available. Generally, unless you have some major drug resistance, say to a certain class of drugs, you and your doctor will find a drug regime that will meet your needs. Your attitude of not worrying about something that you cannot change, is the right choice in my mind.

Your last questions, involves the process of disclosing your status and to be honest, my experience with disclosure, does not really matter, as I am not you. What I mean by this, is that we each must find our own way in deciding on who, how and when we will disclose our status, as there is simply no one method that will work for everyone.

What I can offer, is that the people who truly care for you, will be there for you, because of who you are and not because of some disease. I became poz in 1985, virtually another whole world, when compared to the reality of HIV in the 21st Century. Sadly, the process of disclosure is no easier today, than it was back then, but you have more power than you may realize.

Since you are so new to being poz, I suggest you take it slow and realize that disclosure is something that you can control and most probably, your fears of being turned away, by those who hold you dear, are unfounded. I say this, as both a pozzie and a parent, because those who love us, are much stronger than we often give them credit for being. While I empathize with the idea that you do not want to hurt those who are closest to you, I ask you to consider how you might feel if someone very close to you, had a major life event and kept it from you, for fear of rejection.

I am not saying that disclosure is easy, but often it is not nearly as difficult as we might imagine. The people who love you, love you for who you are and your being poz, will not alter that love, although it will cause them pain and fear, for your well being, because you matter to them. Please do not under estimate how strong we can be, in the support of those we hold most dear. Most probably, your family and friends will be there for you, if you allow them to support you and you understand that everyone involved will take some time to adjust to the news, but it will not change how they feel about you.

I urge you to learn the laws of disclosing your status, wherever you live and taking it slow, whenever you decide to tell someone about your status. I wish I could say that I have never been rejected because of my HIV, then again, I have been rejected for many things that have nothing to do with my status. All my family and friends know of my status, because I cannot live my life by hiding who I am. I have been very public with my status, because I do not want to hide, but also because I have done nothing wrong and my being poz is not something that I am ashamed about.

My hope for you, is that you can tell a special person your status and see where it goes. Honestly, disclosure can be such a difficult subject and if you search the forums for "disclosure" threads you will see how varied the subject of disclosure can be.

What I will leave you with is this. There will always be things in life, that we have little control over, so why waste time on areas that you cannot control. There are also things in life, that we can control and our goal, should be deciding on which is which. In short, disclosing your status can be one of the most difficult things you will ever do, however, the rewards of feeling unconditional love, by those closest to us, is something that we all crave and need to thrive. The people who love you the most, are the ones you should tell first, simply because they love you and that is the real power of unconditional love, being there for each other, no matter what, because our love compels us to do no less.

Your last questions, involves the process of disclosing your status and to be honest, my experience with disclosure, does not really matter, as I am not you. What I mean by this, is that we each must find our own way in deciding on who, how and when we will disclose our status, as there is simply no one method that will work for everyone.

I agree with you that none of the stories I hear will apply to me in any way. I asked you those questions just because I'm curious and even though people have their own experiences, I've always had in mind that there is something to be learnt from each and everyone. Of course, I respect their will of talking about it or not.

Anyway, tomorrow morning I'm going to the hospital to get my meds. I had a very relaxing weekend in my parents' house just to feel some love and care.

Welcome to the forum. Wishing you a good day Monday going to pick up your treatment and wishing you good thoughts for tonight when you start.

The first day I went to get my treatment I had 2 or 3 months of it in a backpack and coming out of the pharmacy I ran into a friend and we went to have a beer. I was a little bit in shock when i saw how much it all cost (mostly to my insurance), and also having to start was a shock but I wanted to and needed to.

Anyway, went home and popped the pills and it was just great for me. I felt better in all ways after starting.

Hope you have some nice weather in Brazil and Tuesday you go for a walk in the fresh air.

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

When I woke up this morning it was raining cats and dogs and the sky was completely dark. However, by the end of the morning the sun came out and the clouds went away giving space to a beautiful fresh day.

I went to the hospital to get my meds and to have the Genotyping done. Everything was OK. I met a guy who is poz too and he told me a little bit about his story. (Unfortunately he found out he's poz too late, but he's doing fine now, I suppose). My CD4 is around 368 and the Virus Load is around 11000 (not bad - as I said before this is an early infection, less than 6 months - the doc said that my CD4 would get better even without meds).

The rest of the day was fine. I'm an English teacher and one of my doctors and her husband are my students and we had lessons today. We had great fun together this afternoon. I feel perfectly fine and I've got my meds with me now (Efavirenz - EFV, Tenofovir, also called Viread and lamivudine - 3TC) - I'm not sure if they have the same names as in English.

It is weird for me to know that tonight I will start doing something that I will have to do it for the rest of my life or hopefully until a cure is discovered. I feel this is the right thing to do though.

Thank you again for your sweet words. Being part of this forum makes me feel stronger.

It is so good to know that I'm off tomorrow, so I don't have to worry about anything. Hopefully I won't have many problems with side effects and I'll be fine!

you read it right. My doctor and her husband (who is a neurologist) are my students. Even though she works with immunology, her speciality is not Hiv. As I didn't know that, she was the first physician I went to a month ago saying: "Hi! I'm pretty sure I was infected with the virus Hiv and I need to confirm this". Then she found out that I was an English teacher and wanted to have lessons with me. When I got the confirmation that I am poz, she recommended another physician whose speciality is Hiv and I'm with him now. Although she doesn't deal with Hiv at work, she helps me in whatever I need, as a friend or, at least, as my student who has some more knowledge about Hiv than I do. She even calls me to know if I'm OK and if I need anything. She's sweet!

...Being poz for just a short period of time makes me hungry for information. I want to know how people have lived with it so far, how their experience with Hiv is (good and/or bad).

I agree with you that none of the stories I hear will apply to me in any way. I asked you those questions just because I'm curious and even though people have their own experiences, I've always had in mind that there is something to be learnt from each and everyone. Of course, I respect their will of talking about it or not...

Hey New,

I think you missed the point I was trying to make. I have no problem talking about my experience with HIV, whether the good or the bad, I just do not see how my experience will benefit you, because I am not you. While I believe that knowledge is power, I see far too many folks, who seek the experience of others and then become distressed as to how disclosure will affect them.

Through my three decades of being poz, I have witnessed just about every possible reaction to disclosure, for either personal or sexual reasons and the reactions are as varied as human nature permits. I have witnessed utter cruelty and inhumanity to a poz person and support arising from the most unlikely places. For me, these experiences help to chronicle the issue of disclosure, but they do nothing to guide me, in my own struggle to define what "disclosure" means to me.

That was my point. Yes, you can share the experience of others, however your mileage may vary. I am suggesting that what others do, or experience, is simply that, what THEY experience, not you. Your decision on how you choose to disclose your status, will be yours alone. I suggest you follow your heart, tempered by your gut instincts and sometimes, on nothing more than faith.

It is why I said to you, in my first post, that we cannot know how your journey may be, but we will be there to walk with you. We will not try and tell you what to do. Why? Because this involves your life and we are not you.

Hi new, and welcome..I'm a "new" too, diagnosed half December 2013. What I must say is that after a very bad Xmas, when I thought "everything's over", I slowly start to climb the hill, and found a very good doctor I really appreciate, who also decided to give me an early treatment (I also was in an acute phase: acute syndrome end of November) and I started Prezista, norvir, truvada and isentress not even 10 weeks aftery exposition to the virus.

I'm very convinced that this is the right approach to try to reduce at maximum the damages of the virus and to become soon undetectable, so my doctor is.

I started with 590 cd4 and >500000 VL. After 1 month of haart 880 cd4 and 150 VL.I'm feeling good, no adverse side effects at all, excepting a light rash for few days in the second week.

Fortunately we're in years when the research is very quick in discovering new and better drugs and the HIV is not that monster anymore.

I must say I'm starting to become the owner of myself again, and I'd never thought it just 2 months ago.

I can understand your point now. The way you write can show me very clearly how mature you are with this subject. And this is good! Thank you for your response.

Hello Hivtalian,

I`m sorry to hear that you had a terrible Xmas last year, but one thing is good: you found out very early, and therefore starting your treatment early was good for you. I don't know if you read my previous posts, but I knew I had been infected with Hiv in the beginning of December because I also had the acute stage. However, I only had the test done in January, one month later, when I got back from my holidays in Europe.

I started my treatment on Monday this week and I must say that apart from the vivid dreams and dizziness on the first day only, I had no side effects whatsoever. I hope not to have any at all. Some people told me they've had a hard time with Efavirenz, but for me it's fine so far.

However, there is one thing that I noticed different in me: I sweat a lot now. I didn't use to sweat much before, but now I get completely soaked. Every morning I go to the gym, because I have in mind that I have to expel the toxic waste the meds may leave in my body. (I have no idea if this thought is scientificly correct, but as I'm not a person who is into exercising, I need to have a very strong reason on my mind to go to the gym).

It's also good to hear that after 2 months, as you said, you started to become the owner of yourself. That's the way to go!

I would like to share with all of you my feelings of happiness right now.

I've been seeing a guy since I came back from Europe (beginning of January this year) and before having my results for Hiv. A couple of days after our first meeting I found out about my status. The problem was that I liked him very much and I had no idea how that would go on. Anyway, we kept seeing each other (the fact that I was poz NEVER let me down - no depression, nothing, I carry on with my life normally). So today we went out again, but I would put and end to it just because I didn't want to tell him about my status (it was very early and I was getting used to the idea myself) as I was afraid of being rejected or something.

It turned out that he himself said that he liked me very much and that he wanted to be my boyfriend. As I like him as well, I told him: "OK! I really like you, but there is something you need to know and this may be shocking for you. (Pause) I am Hiv positive." Silence. He looked at me and said: "Where is the shocking part? Is that it? Really! I don't care about your status, I care about you and I want to be with you, you're being poz or neg. You make me feel good! I think about you all the time and I would like to spend time with you. But as you mentioned it, have you started treatment yet? I'd like to go to your doctor with you next time. But anyway do you still want to be my boyfriend?"

I am over the moon right now! Really! I started taking my meds last monday, I found out about my status a month ago and now I have a boyfriend. All this just showed me that it doesn't matter if you're Hiv+, don't worry about it, there is treatment, you can live your life pretty normal and still find people who care about you.