noticing. observing. participating. chronicling.

Not now, demons.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for staying away for so long. It’s been nice having such a long break from your grasp. There are a couple of you that I’d like to address in particular;

– Jealousy – I’m rather impressed that you hid your ugly face for all this time. You were provided with plenty of situations in which you could have popped up. You’re here now though, and I’d like to tell you to fuck right off.

– Insecurity – Oh, you. You are like a pimple just waiting to surface. Once I’m aware of your imminence, I like to deal with you head-on. I’m not giving you the chance to fester and screw up all the times I’ve prevented you from surfacing in the past. You make other unwelcome demons stronger. You are not welcome. Go play by yourself.

– Control – You’re like this cute little demon that can play both sides. You’re sometimes so incredibly positive and helpful; providing order and rhythm. But now, Control, you are creeping up on me, and I don’t want to use you. I have done better with your nicer cousin; Spontaneity.

– Fear – I suppose, Fear, that you are the foundation of all of these other demons. You feed them. I’m not sure where you come from this time though. You’re not being given any cues that you should be around. Please don’t come knocking early. I like feeling strong. Don’t screw that up for me.

I am literally and figuratively running from you, demons. Each time I sense you’re close, I will choose to run. I ran tonight. I evaded you for a short while. I will keep doing it. Sometimes I will cycle away from you. Sometimes I will paddle or walk, but you are not catching up to me. I’ve done too much good for myself in the last ten months. I am strong and I will leave you behind.

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Why I Chronicle Daily Existence

"I do not want, completely, to abandon the world-view that I acquired in childhood. So long as I remain alive and well I shall continue to feel strongly about prose style, to love the surface of the earth, and to take pleasure in solid objects and scraps of useless information." ~ George Orwell