Feature

Dial 5-7-5

The winners of our second-ever 15th Annual Haiku Contest

By Steven Robert Allen

Beginning this fall the bulk of New Mexico will begin using the new area code 575. This doesn't include the Albuquerque-Santa Fe corridor or most of the northwest quadrant of the state. Still, it certainly tickles our fancy to have this new area code correspond so gloriously with the formal requirements of haiku composition. So, in honor of this very special coincidence, we are even more enthused to present you with the winners and runner-ups in our 2007 Haiku Contest.

Carol Moscrip has been the master in this category for years and she once again comes out on top. Kudos, too, to Albuquerque High School student Kimberly Carter for coming up with a doozy.Winnerspider spins the airwith boundless tension, bravingthreadbare dimensions—Carol Moscrip Honorable MentionsBlack Widow, your webis frayed from desolation.Your hourglass fades.—Kimberly Carterslips from magnoliabowl’s nectared cream lip a beedrenched in summer’s trance—Carol Moscripsix-fingered wings spread,dark-headed cranes thrash the marshwith a mambo beat—Carol Moscrip

Do you typically sport a forlorn expression on your decaying face? Do you dress in rags? Do you shamble? Perhaps you're a zombie. If so, these haiku are for you. Enjoy!WinnerCold, hungry actorwilling to work long, hard hoursfor warm flesh and brains—Steve BishopHonorable Mentions“Morning traffic”Half asleep, I drive,Brain on autopilot, rideof the living dead.—Ben M. AngelArms out legs real stifflet's all do the zombie twistIt's quite infectious.—Pablo Omar CoxSingle white zombieseeks fleshling for fun and bites.Fatties only, please.—Christopher Jones (Rev.)I fell in love withA zombie. But he onlyLoves me for my brains.—Rebecca RolandInfectious virusSpreads dread, creates mindless deadFox News coverage.—Larry Elmore

Best Movie Review Haiku

Now that you mention it, Bob, Matt Damon does have a nice ass.Winner“Bourne Baby, Bourne”Matt Damon's okay.His ass looks good on a bike.Butt he's no James Dean.—Bob RakoczyHonorable Mention“Karate Kid” (1984)Skeleton mask teensRough up shy boy on a bike.Crane kick practice time!—Eric Johnson

About half the submissions in this category would've made for fine iPhone commercials. That's why we're not printing them. Congratulations to Ms. Green for her brief little dose of reality.WinneriPhone ePhone ifit were free phone I wouldn'tstand in line for it.—Laura GreenHonorable MentionDon’t do that again!I didn’t spend 6 hundredto be hung up on!—John Bicknell

Best Campaign Slogan Haiku

Hey, voters, let's not get ahead of ourselves. There's a City Council election on Oct. 2—just a few short weeks away. Worry about the presidential race next year.WinnerStop electing theserich, white, greedy assholes whoalways steal our land!—Dan OteroHonorable Mentions“Mitt ’08”Every embryodeserves the chance to becomea murdered soldier.—Sue McGilpinDon't worry ... I'll justBlame it on the previousAdministration.—Miela Kolomaznik

Best Slang Haiku

We didn't get many entries in this category. Is this because Alibi readers are too hyper-literate to use slang even where required, or because the category was stupid? You decide.Winner“Lake Whoa-Doggone”Fishun fer bullheads.Heckuva deal, ubetcha.Mac-n-cheese-wiz bait—Bob Rakoczy

Best Text Messaged Haiku

Didn't get many entries in this category either, and almost all of the ones we did get came from high school kids, like this harsh little ditty from Albuquerque High School student Laz Romankiw.Winnero hey bbycaekzlol im dumping utalk 2 u l8r!—Laz Romankiw