"'So, is this a date?' is pretty much the last question you want to be asking yourself—or worse, the person you’re with—during a social outing,” laments Tracy Benson of the current state of her romantic life. “But sometimes, that’s exactly what it comes down to. Otherwise we just end up in this strange limbo where neither party is clear on what the other is going for in this relationship.”

As anyone who has ever spent any time in this awkwardly ambiguous mating (or lack of mating) dance will tell you, much time can be lost in said limbo. Are we on a date, or what? And what exactly is a date, anyway?

The situation Benson, 30, describes may sound foreign to members of older, dare I say, more courtly, generations, but today’s young singles scene is far more confusing to navigate than that of yesteryear. Gone are the days of a man calling a woman a few days in advance to ask if she would like to accompany him to the theatre. Very rarely is there a door-to-door pick up or drop off, bouquets of flowers or the anticipatory goodnight-kiss moment. Heck, receiving a text saying “I’m dwnstrs” pretty much qualifies as courtship these days. It’s as though an entire generation has forgotten how to date. Or, perhaps more accurately, to paraphrase Jocelyn Wentland, a sex researcher in the Human Sexuality Research Laboratory at the University of Ottawa who is currently studying the “friends with benefits”relationship trend, they never really learned how to date in the first place.

“Technology has changed the way we connect with potential partners, so there are no more blind dates where you meet up with a stranger and have a potentially awkward dinner date. Instead you chat online, creep their Facebook profile for mutual friends and other information about them, and decide if you want to hang,” Wentland explains. Her research of young Canadian adults, aged 18 to 29, indicates that while the traditional dating script (man asks woman out, woman acts passive and goes with the flow, woman resists his sexual advances) is still endorsed by the majority of young adults, the scenes in which these acts play out have become increasingly casual and less defined.

“They want to ‘hang out’ and ‘chill’ with the person, get to know them in a less formal atmosphere,” Wentland says. “The rules of the game haven’t changed: the purpose is still to get to know the person and decide if they are interested in the person and if so, for what type of relationship.”

Having experienced a variety of these hangout-based, ultra-nonchalant relationships, I can tell you one thing for sure: they suck. Imagine my excitement, then, when I met a nice fellow a few months back at National (FYI: if you are a lady looking for a potential date, this is one of our city’s best places to find one, as the guy-to-girl ratio is in your favour) and we discussed going on an actual date. Seriously, we flat out discussed dinner at Divino. That he knew what and where Divino was and suggested it of his own accord, well, that certainly worked in his favour. I left that night thinking, “Yes,

finally! A grownup who wants to take me somewhere rather than play Xbox or ‘watch a movie,’ wink, wink.” Did we ever make it to Divino for a night of wine-and-cheese-infused courtship, though? No. We did not.

Instead, we played the usual game of texty-text, shared the occasional cup of tea or cocktail with other friends present. On our boldest attempts, we met up at the bar after I went on “dates” with my girlfriends. (For the record, twenty-something females know how to wine and dine each other just fine.) Am I partially to blame for engaging in this casual, group-hang behaviour? Yes, absolutely. I’m not suggesting that men are solely to blame for modern society’s dating strategy amnesia. I am, however, suggesting it’s time we address the issue.

So, here’s what we at Swerve, a magazine dedicated to celebrating everything Calgary has to offer, propose: 2014 is the year of the date. We’re bringing dating back, people! It doesn’t matter if it’s a first date or the 400th with a longtime love. If it is in fact a date—meaning you are at least potentially interested in a romantic relationship with the person accompanying you, including the more casual varieties that mostly involve a lot of time in bed—call it a damn date. That will get all that “is it, or isn’t it?” bologna out of the way and leave room for both of you to put the idea of love right there on the table—or the batting cage floor, as the case may be. It will also get you out of the house and into your city. A city with a remarkably large variety of hot date options it turns out, of which we have rounded up dozens to help you kindle this romantic renaissance, all helpfully outlined on the following pages.

So go ahead folks, step right up and make plans with someone intriguing this Saturday night, even if you’re already married to them. To be a successful dater in this day and age, it turns out all you really have to do is ask.

Hit It Off

It’s still going to be a while before the local golf courses are open for business, but that doesn’t mean you should let your swing get rusty in the off season. Hit up an indoor golf facility to hit a bucket of balls. Hit up your favourite pub afterward for a pint and then hit on each other.

Pin It

Bowling has always been a pretty fun time, but even more so now that National on 10th (341 10th Ave. S.W.) has opened its stylish, high-energy take on the traditional alley. Enjoy good tunes, indulge in an inventive cocktail menu and check out the nostalgic arcade games of your youth, all while wowing your date with your 10-pin skills at Calgary’s very own version of the famed Lucky Strike in LA.

Centre Stage

There’s nothing quite as entertaining in our books as live music. And, luckily for us, there’s never a shortage of shows to check out around town. Even if the band isn’t all that great, the energy around a live performance makes a great foundation for a date—wowed or not, you’ll have plenty to talk about afterwards. The Ironwood (1229 9th Ave. S.E.) always has a solid lineup of shows from both local favourites and touring bands passing through YYC. As a bonus, it also offers up surprisingly good food, so you don’t need to worry about a location change when hunger strikes. If upscale is more your style, The Oak Room at the Fairmont Palliser (133 9th Ave. S.W.) has atmosphere in spades; live jazz and great cocktails are a hard combo to beat. But if you are looking for a truly unique Calgary experience—maybe you want to see what your date is like after having a few sips of whiskey and letting his or her hair down—check out Mikey’s Juke Joint (1901 10th Ave. S.W.). A dive bar in all the best ways, this hidden gem is a guaranteed good time for all ages and demographics. Just check your ego (and inhibitions) at the door and let the good, blues-fuelled, times roll.

Oh, Happy Day

Day dates—though perhaps not for the very first date, for the sake of being clear with our intentions—are awesome! Especially if you time them so that day transitions seamlessly into evening. Spend the afternoon rediscovering the Glenbow Museum (130 9th Ave. S.E.) in all its history-steeped glory, then skip across Stephen’s Avenue for a grownup drink at the Sandstone Lounge (700 Centre St. S.W.) in the Hyatt. Where you take it from there is entirely up to you.

Keep on Truckin’

Who says a date has to cost an arm and a leg? While there are plenty of poutineries downtown to choose from, indulge your hankering for classic fries and gravy at the Blackfoot Truck Stop Diner (1840 9th Ave. S.E.) for a change of pace. Of course, it’s not going to be everyone’s favourite hangout (if your girl is more Prada than pie à la mode this one’s probably not going to impress), but with the right date, kitsch may land you a goodnight kiss.

The Simple Walk ’n’ Talk

Sometimes you just can’t beat this winning combination—assuming you grab a to-go cup of really good coffee (we’re partial to Vendome, 940 2nd Ave. N.W.) and pair it with really good scenery (we’re partial to strolling along the Bow River pathway) and really good company.

Twinkle, Twinkle

You do the math: take in some stargazing at the Rothney Astrophysical Observatory (ucalgary.ca/rao), then park in your car and stare up at the big, glittering Alberta sky without any of the light pollution of the city.

Think Local

There’s just something romantic about a bookstore. Spend some time poking around Shelf Life Books (1302 4th St. S.W.) for unique literary treasures, then wander across the road to Central Memorial Park. Depending on the season, log some time lounging in the grass and flipping through your newly purchased book or magazine and then hit up Boxwood Rotisserie Cafe (340 13th Ave. S.W.) for some truly delicious locally sourced fare. This is a quintessentially Calgary date.

A Sure Shot

Even if cupid’s aim is a little off, firing off a few rounds at an indoor range is a surprisingly amusing outing for both sexes. Even though it’s in a completely safe and controlled environment (Calgary Shooting Centre, 7130 Fisher Rd. S.E.), pulling the trigger delivers a serious adrenalin rush and, at the very least, earns a check mark on most people’s bucket list. Bonus points: Let her channel her inner Katniss Everdeen, bow-and-arrow style, at the Calgary Archery Centre (4855 47th St. S.E.).

Up in the Air

Head out to the airport, find a grassy knoll and watch the planes come and go as you discuss all the faraway lands you’d like to visit together in the future. Spend some time chilling in the airport itself and watching the Love Actually moments unfold in the arrivals area, then head over to the YYC Lounge in the Delta Airport Hotel (2001 Airport Rd. N.E.) for a stylish drink or nibble. Unconventional? Yes. Memorable? Definitely.

Kick It in Kensington

Dinner and a movie is always a classic choice. Take it slightly beyond the standard Cineplex-and-chain-restaurant outing, though, with a visit to the historic Plaza Theatre (1133 Kensington Rd. N.W.) and, to follow, a wine-infused dinner practically next door at Wine Bar Kensington (1131 Kensington Rd. N.W.).

Kid-Tested, Adult-Approved

The unimaginative might consider it a hot date for the elementary-school set, but Telus Spark (220 St. George’s Dr. N.E., sparkscience.ca) hosts its Adults-Only Night (complete with adults-only beverages) on the second Thursday of every month, when the big kids can run amok and explore the museum, just like the good old days. A new theme each month dictates the activities for the evening, but the February 13th “Love in the Digital Age” programming sounds particularly date-friendly to us. Learn, laugh and, hopefully, spark a little love.

Test Your Might

If fitness is your (or your companion’s) thing, you might like to show off your endurance (or really put it to the test, depending) by dropping into one of the city’s numerous Crossfit gyms for what is sure to be a sweat-inducing, endorphin-pumping workout. Follow it up with a visit to the Calgary Farmers’ Market (510 77th Ave. S.E.), Kingsland Farmers’ Market (7711 Macleod Tr. S.) or Crossroads Market (1235 26th Ave. S.E.) to rehydrate and refuel with some healthy options. Both your muscles and your date will thank you for treating them so well.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

This one’s for those who already have a few classy dates under their belt, rather than those still in the courtship phase. Put on your laundry-day best, gather your delicates (and not so delicates) and take a trip to the Edmonton Trail Laundromat (Suite 1, 719 Edmonton Tr. N.E.). Once the clothes are spinning, play a serious game of truth or dare, read trashy tabloids and just enjoy each other’s company. Wander over to nearby Diner Deluxe (804 Edmonton Tr. N.E.) for comfort food or a kickass brunch spread.

Place Your Bets

Love is a gamble. So why not do a little gambling with the one you (potentially could) love? There’s no shortage of casinos in the city, so go ahead and get glammed up Vegas-style (how many chances do you get to wear that sequined cocktail dress?) and try your luck on your games of choice. If the house starts taking you for all you’re worth, you can always check out the live musical entertainment, hit a buffet or, if the Cowboys Casino (421 12th Ave. S.E.) is your location of choice, bust a gut at YukYuk’s or bust a move at the dance hall.

The Crowd Pleaser

Hot dogs, draft beers, sunshine and pop flys. Calgary recently lost its minor-league team, but come springtime, a short road trip out to Okotoks will land you at Seaman Stadium (2111 North Railway Dr., Okotoks), home of the Dawgs. A Cracker-Jack date idea if we’ve ever heard one.

Break the Ice

Lace up your skates and take a spin around Olympic Plaza ice rink. Whether you’ve got smooth moves or lean towards the clumsy side of the spectrum, there’s something about the nostalgia of skating that works for all ages. After you’re through, warm up with some high-end dessert and coffee at the one and only Teatro (200 8th Ave. S.E.). Or if doughnut holes are more your style, grab a box of Timbits and a couple double-doubles at the nearby Tim Horton’s (346 6th Ave. S.E.) and pull up a park bench.

Ripe for the Pickin’

Pick your own bushel of berries and wander the quaint country village; if things go really well, The Saskatoon Farm in Okotoks (saskatoonfarm.com) also does weddings.

Down the Hatch

Explore your tequila-tasting horizons with a flight (and perhaps a taco pairing?) at Anejo (2116 4th St. S.W.). Should one flight turn into more, feel free to take that liquid courage to the stage at everyone’s favourite karaoke bar, Ducky’s (2100 4th St. S.W.), conveniently located just around the corner.

Take the Plunge

Not the actual nuptial kind, but rather the hurling yourself out of an airplane variety. Skydive Big Sky (skydivingcalgary.ca), Alberta Skydivers (albertaskydivers.com) and Vertical Extreme Skydiving (verticalextremeskydiving.com) are all hot options for adrenalin-seeking types, but there’s

always the risk that there may not be a second date.

Follow the Leader

Test your compatibility (and whether or not either of you suffers from claustrophobia) with a caving adventure in Canmore. With no interior lighting, no handrails and no walkways, you’ll explore the underbelly of Grotto Mountain (also known as Rat’s Nest Cave) in its natural state.

Plunging boldly into the darkness is kind of the perfect metaphor for entering a relationship, isn’t it? canmorecavetours.com.

The Acid Test

Prep some snacks, grab some pillows and blankets and tuck into the entire first and second seasons of Girls. If he can make it through that much on-screen, estrogen-laced awkwardness, he’s a keeper.

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