It doesn’t seem controversial to say that if you’re a man you can’t just go around punching women in the face, right? This statement should be like, Life 101. And yes, I should make it known that I am speaking as someone who has been punched in the face by a male person on more than one occasion. Once when I was about sixteen, I threw a cup of soda on a guy’s lap who was being mean to my friend. He retaliated by going all aggro, pouring an entire pitcher over my head and then hauling off and punching me in the mouth so hard I needed stitches. Another time, while still a teen, I was out with a guy who got drunk and abusive with me. He threw me down in a parking lot and kicked me because he didn’t like something he thought I said. I was so angry I chased him into the restaurant and slapped him and he PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE.

Seriously, not cool. You would think I’m preaching to the choir but you would be wrong. There have been more than a few incidents recently where a grown-ass man punched a women in the face and instead of the world having a no tolerance policy, many have defended the man. This is insane to me.

A few days ago there was De’Andre Johnson who is a Florida State University football quarterback (well, was). He apparently pushed into a woman in a bar, she got pissed and said something to him, he grabbed her and she took a swing at him and he, yes, PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. I was naturally horrified at a huge football player punching a woman but my response wasn’t shared by many people who commented on the story. Just look at the responses to the YouTube video. I know what you’re thinking – people who comment on YouTube are assholes right? Well, what about a progressive website? Think Progress posted the story on Facebook and there were lots of comments like these: “I never hit a woman……………if a woman hits me I’m beating her till the white meat show.” “If a woman wants to be treated like a lady she should stay in a woman’s place not act like a man by throwing punches and kicking. She got what she deserved.”

Then yesterday, I find this story about a 6’2″ male manager at Panera Bread who threw a tiny female employee down the stairs and then when she popped back up and came in angry as hell and tried to hit him, he PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. Hard. Again, the commenters say ugly things like Yolanda who said, “Common sense tells me she was fired- and started causing a scene. I’ve been in that cage. The “flight” of stairs consist of two steps…. The media circus rolls on.” Yo, Yolanda, did you not see the video with your eyes? Or this commenter on Gawker “It’s truly amazing how the women are never in the wrong in any of these videos, regardless of what’s captured or reported. #equality” or this one who really thought it through and decided that the girl was at fault unless he finds out otherwise: “If the story comes out that she was some saint pushed to the limit due to some kind of abuse or harassment, hey, I’ll change my tune. From what I can see? Experience tells me that this is someone who went “FUCK ALLA Y’ALL” because she couldn’t hack the horror that is a retail job. Boo fucking hoo. It’s called “work” for a reason; do it.” Nice. And a lot of these comments are from women. What gives ma bitches?

Things keep coming up in the news where the police are accused abusing their power. Some police officers have bullied, used physical force and in some cases killed unarmed black men. Sometimes the victims were instigating it and many times we have found out they weren’t. And we, men and women alike, have been HORRIFIED. We have banded together and cried racism! We’ve taken to the streets and protested! Rightfully so! Me too! Fuck those racist cops and their abuse of power! But why aren’t we equally horrified when it’s women who are the victims? Women who are not in a fair fight. Women who have no idea when or if a man might have a violent streak.

Women don’t normally do this shit to other women. If I was to spill a glass of soda on a woman’s lap in a bar, she might come at me, sure. But I wouldn’t be afraid of dying; I’d be afraid of having my hair pulled hard or getting my t-shirt ripped. Hell, some men would probably think we were goofing around and throw dollar bills at us. But I doubt anyone would end up bloody or hospitalized.

I’m just so mad that this kind of incident is getting so common place and more people aren’t pissed. If women aren’t going to get outraged and stand up for other women who will? This is why people like Bill Cosby get away with rape – because there will always be people like Whoopi fucking Goldberg saying, “Sorry. I need more proof.” When will we stop needing more proof?

4 Comments

Wow! I can’t believe other women would even consider blaming any woman 100% for a man punching her in the face. I don’t care what a woman does, a man should never punch any woman in the face. I’m all for equality but at a certain point there’s a physical difference and that physicality could be the difference between life and death in a matter of one punch.

Toni said,

I’m sorry. I think I have to disagree. Well, I certainly don’t think that a man should ever hit a woman. But I also don’t think that a woman should pick a fight with a man. There is no reason that a man can’t retaliate if a woman starts a fight. You can’t expect a man to just sit back and take whatever is thrown at him, and if a woman starts a fight and gets the bad end of the stick, that’s not the man’s fault.

Equality means we want to play in the same arena as men. But a woman shouldn’t feel like she can do whatever she wants and men have to just take it.

Of course in my world, no one would behave this way at all. No one would be throwing drinks or slapping others across the face and certainly no man would ever, ever punch a woman.