The imposters dressed as the Washington Capitals did not play up to their kidnapping victims’ standards on Sunday afternoon. Hosting the vastly inferior Philadelphia Flyers (at least, inferior when compared to the real Capitals), the fake Capitals seemed stuck in the mud. Even with a ton of power-play opportunities, the Copita1s couldn’t win this one.

Mark Streit beat Braden Holtby with a deflection late in the first period to put the Flyers up. That lead held for most of the second period, until Alex Ovechkin scored a power-play goal with an Ovi shot from the Ovi spot.

Wayne Simmonds scored the game-winner for the Flyers with a great release (and bad coverage by Alzner) just four minutes into the third. Then Jakub Voracek got an empty netter. The Caps played like a butt.

The Caps played host to the Ducks and played their second tight game in as many nights. I wanted a 7-5 mess with like 35 minutes in penalties and multiple pulled goalies, but instead I got this. I should start covering lacrosse.

We nearly went twenty minutes without a goal, but Ryan KESLER converted a power play while Alex Ovechkin was in the box. The Caps equalized in the second period after Troy Brouwer’s hero move. John Carlson shocked Bryzgalov to put the Caps ahead in the third. Corey Perry beat Hershey’s Philipp Grubauer at the post to even the score in the final ten minutes and force overtime. Overtime was useless, so let’s do the biscuits.

The clash of the capitals cities got off to a slow start. Twenty minutes in Ottawa came and went before either the Washington Capitals or Ottawa Senators got on the scoreboard, and then in the span of two minutes and two seconds, the game was all but decided.

Holtby earned his 10th and final perfect consecutive regulation period in the first before surrendering one to Kyle Turris in the second– though I’d blame some weak defense for that one. The Caps were unfazed and struck back for two goals– first from Evgeny Kuznetsov and then a wild home-run shot from Alex Ovechkin to put the Caps in the lead and tie Rick Nash for the league’s scoring lead.

The Caps fought off every penalty kill possible in the third and finally got one of their own late to no result. Laich shanked the empty-net chance and it was over.

That was the best Caps game of the season. Straight up. The Capitals took a fantastic foe in the Los Angeles Kings and outplayed them at every step. It was as close to perfect as Caps hockey gets.

Jonathan Quick was solid until Troy Brouwer caught a lovely pass to make it 1-0. Brouwer got his second in the second period, gently tapping a rocket from Mike Green. The top line made the Kings look like statues on a tic-tac-toe sequence capped off by Backstrom. That sent LA into a spiral as Ward shut down a breakout to give Fehr his 16th goal of the season.

Per tradition, we begin every Super Bowl Sunday with a Capitals game packed with all the intensity you’d expect from a rivalry matchup. Except this was the Blues, for whom the Caps have no special animosity as far as I can remember. Yet, there we were, watching the hits pile up in an ugly but mostly entertaining hour of hockey– except for the whole losing part.

Steen got it first, beating Peters on a rebound during a first-period power play. Ovechkin did the same with an Ovi shot from the Ovi spot seven minutes later. Steen got his second on the rush during a bad change, which Ovi responded to by harrying the Blues during 4v4.

Dmitrij Jaskin interrupted the Alexes to score on one of Justin Peters’ many rebounds, giving the Blues the lead after forty. Vladimir Tarasenko broke the Caps back with a rush goal six minutes into the third period.

Karl Alzner brought the Caps back within one goal in the third period as the top line did the net-front presence thing.

I hate goalies. I want all the games to end 7-5 and all the goalie to leave dejected. I didn’t get what I wanted on Saturday afternoon. The goalies for Washington and Montreal were buttoned up tight– keeping this game scoreless all the way though #rego.

Everyone clear the ice so Price and Holtby can decide the game with a Handsome Off.

RIP The Great Losing Streak of 2015. Early on, the Caps played an even game against the Penguins, but Washington had a secret weapon in its captain. Alex Ovechkin positively lit up Marc Andre Fleury in the first and second periods, which was way more than Pittsburgh and their erstwhile star player could offer.

Ovi’s first-period goal came at even strength, deflecting Alzner’s shot with a little net-front presence. Ovi’s second-period goal came on the power play, set up by Mike Green.

Eric Fehr and Mike Green interrupted Ovi’s party in the third, crashing the net for Fehr’s goal and scoring Green’s while on the rush. The game dissolved into chaos late as Holtby helped kill penalties to secure the shutout.

Caps beat Pens 4-0! Losing streak over! Two shutouts in a row against the Pens! BAILAMOS!

On Tuesday night, the Washington Capitals didn’t look quite ready to return from all-star break. Playing visitor to the Columbus Blue Jackets, the Caps did well enough at tilting the ice, but a glut of goof-ups in their own end gave Lumbus a too-easy victory.

After a quiet first frame, Mark Letestu kicked off a wild second period by scoring on the rush. Ryan Johansen got his 18th of the season soon thereafter, notching from the high slot, but Andre Burakovsky struck back half a minute later by tapping in Matt Niskanen’s long bomb. Fedor Tyutin beat Holtby after the top line and top pairing failed to clear the zone, but Troy Brouwer crashed the net to make it a one-goal game– again half a minute later.

In the third, Cam Atkinson cued those damn canons with a quick shot from the slot. Lumbus was buzzing after that, but Evgeny Kuznetsov shut em up with a wrister off a rebound to make it a one-goal game once more. A Backstrom penalty in the final minutes neutered the Capitals’ comeback effort.

The Caps’ last game before the All-Star Break began crackling with excitement, but quickly settled into the quiet urgency of a bunch of guys eager to get home for a long weekend. They couldn’t even manage to do that well, as the Caps squandered an early, healthy lead and lost in the gimmick.

Alex Ovechkin scored twice in the first period, first with a slapper on a delayed penalty and then again with an Ovi shot from the Ovi spot. Edmonton’s own number eight, Derek Roy, returned fire by beating Matt Niskanen to the niskanet. Before we hit intermission, Jay Beagle scored and there was much rejoicing.

Nikita Nikitin put the Oilers within one goal late in the second period while Niskanen was in the box.

In the third, Nick Backstrom tipped in John Carlson’s long bomb to put Edmonton back in the two-goal hole where they belong, though I guess maybe we forgot to tell them that. Teddy Purcell got a quick little snapper to Holtby’s far side to make 4-3 in the final five minutes, and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins tied it in the final 100 seconds, forcing overtime. Overtime didn’t do nuffin, so you know what’s next.

What were your expectations for Saturday’s Caps game? Seriously, I want to know. Two games in as many nights, a deflating loss against the league’s most winning team on night one, a backup goalie in night two facing one of the fastest improving teams– I can think of lots of reasons this one could have gone really badly, but here’s how it really went:

Badly, at first at least. Tyler Seguin scored a power-play goal after Brooks Orpik blew his assignment on Jason Spezza, then Erik Cole got a deflection in front of Justin Peters to make it 2-0 going into intermission.

Spezza converted a three-on-one before the Caps finally woke up. Eric Fehr responded with a goal assisted by Joel Ward, then Andre Burakovsky put a zipper of a shot behind Kari Lehtonen. Alex Ovechkin converted a breakaway to tie the game early in the third period, but then the wheels came off.

Within twenty seconds, Antoine Roussel and Jamie Benn scored– the former with a lucky bounce and a layup, the latter with a rush goal against a slower defense.

Nick Backstrom got a one-timer off a brilliant pass from Alex Ovechkin in the final four minutes to make it a one-goal game. The Caps had some fireworks in the final ticks, but couldn’t hit the back of the net.