God has less relevance in my life Mahesh Bhatt

New Delhi: God has always had less relevance in the life of producer writer Mahesh Bhatt who says hisdissatisfaction stemmed from unfulfillment of fundamental longings.

"I lost the relevance of God in my life in my childhood days only. I always wanted my father to stay with me, but when that didn't happen I lost faith. People around me had relevance in him so I never complained too but I felt different for him," Bhatt said.

The filmmaker was participating in the just concluded third edition of 'Samanvay', the Indian Languages Festival, which began at the India Habitat Centre, in Delhi last week. Sharing a flash back moment, Mahesh said, "I got into LSD and drugs when my films were not working. It was later when I met U G Krishnamurthy, who made me realize that society has its parameters and we have to play in its boundaries.

"I found some meaningful existence after 'Saransh' which looked at an elderly couple who had lost their son. I along with others reexamined the theory of reincarnation," he added.

According to Bhatt, the film industry's approach had also turned hostile in the 1990s.

"It was post Godhra riots when the film industry's narrative of 'India' changed into the version of India that istalked about today. It wasn't easy though; I had to face many hassles for making 'Zakhm', my last film as a director," he shared.

"The film locked horns with right fundamentalist ideology. The censor board told me that I needed clearance from the political bosses. The film was later referred to the home ministry and I was told to replace the saffron head bands with another colour for an 'obvious relevance'.

"I had to use digital technology and it cost me more than forty lakh rupees for a low budget film but the film worked and later it bagged awards.

"I was amazed at the existing hypocrisy around me where at one time they thought that it was irrelevant and had 'inappropriate' content and at the other time they awarded itbecause it was well received by the audience. That's how itworks.!" Bhatt said.