Basking In The Trivial

‘The Transformation Of Fat Vincent’ Is The Best Page On Facebook

Look, I’ll admit it — I’m a crazy dog person. I want to make my dogs happy, and do all sorts of dumb stuff to avoid “inconveniencing” them, like telling my husband he needs to get up and get me something to drink because the dog is asleep on me. But, like everyone else, some things that make dogs happy are not good for them, like eating so much fast food that their guts drag on the damn ground.

That’s where Vincent, who I ADORE, comes in. He’s a 7-year-old dachshund that ended up in the Houston pound after his guardian died. A dog Vincent’s age, breed, and frame should weigh 15-20 lbs., vets say, but Vincent weighs 40, and “every time they go through a Starbucks drive-through for coffee, [Vincent] goes wild with excitement, perhaps a reminder of his previous fast food eating life,” KRON4 reported:

“When I went through Starbucks, when the intercom came on and said, ‘Can I take your order,’ he immediately perked up and he was down on the floorboard of the passenger seat. He jumped up in the seat, which he didn’t do at the time, and came over to the window and his little nose was going crazy,” Melissa Anderson, a foster-guardian with K9 Angels Rescue, the dog rescue organization that took Vincent in, told Click2Houston.

For example, Vincent has been doing water aerobics. Here is video of a fat dog swimming:

Are you dead of adorableness yet? If you’re still with me, here are a a couple videos from this morning, when he headed out to the vet’s office for a weigh-in. Ready?

After today’s weigh-in, our stout pup is down to 34.8 lbs. Yay, Vincent! We believe in you!

It’s true, I am no longer doing any work, eating, cleaning myself, etc…I’m spending all my time checking “The Transformation of Fat Vincent” for updates. Here’s how I expect to look in six months, when Vincent is expected to reach his goal weight and I will have clicked “refresh” on his page a zillion times: