Friday, August 28, 2009

What is Honor? Is there a place for Honor today?

When I Honor myself, I am confident of my being, and I am gentle with myself. - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What images come to mind when you visualize Honor? Medieval knights jousting for the hand of a fair maiden? Sir Walter Raleigh laying his magnificent cape in the muddy street so his lady's feet don't get soiled? Soldiers riding off to war to defend the "honor" of their country?

A working definition of Honor is, "respect or esteem that has been earned." Contemplate that for a moment. It would be very special to earn the respect and esteem of our family, our friends, our co-workers, our community, wouldn't it? If anything, it is of even more moment to honor yourself. Those who are successful and happy earn their own self-respect and self-esteem.

As most of you know, Honor is the first Point of Simply An Inspired Life. Occasionally, I doubt whether Honor was the best word to choose to summarize the first Point because the concept of Honor is so uncommon today, and I often refer to "self-respect" or "self-esteem" when I am briefly describing the quality that gives meaning to our lives. However, there is much more to Honoring yourself than simply having self-respect and self-esteem.

Honor also connotes a sense of nobility. If I Honor myself, certainly I respect myself and value my life, but there is more. When I Honor myself, I am confident of my being, and I am gentle with myself. I have nothing to prove to anyone else or to myself. My value is unquestioned.

In the Honor chapter of Simply An Inspired Life, I discuss the risk of confusing Honor with self-importance - "pride" in it's biblical sense. Ego is the "shadow" - the dark side - of Self-Honor. There is probably no human virtue that does not have a shadow side. The shadow of generosity is meddling. The shadow of serenity is complacency. I address the subject of shadow emotions in Simply An Inspired Life, but let me emphasize the importance of never diminishing the value of a quality or emotion based on the negative effects of carrying that virtue to excess.

If you doubt the virtue in self-honor, remember what the flight attendant says, "Put your own oxygen mask on first." You are of no use to anyone else if you have not taken care of your own needs first - this includes your own emotional, as well as physical, well-being. In addition, your greatest value to your children, your family, your friends, and your community is the example you set, leading a great life that inspires those around you to emulate your being.

The quality of Honoring yourself, respecting yourself, valuing your purpose, your life-work, your very being, is a prerequisite to the other Points of Simply An Inspired Life. Before you can forgive others, you must be a person whose forgiveness matters. Before you can have gratitude for your life, you must believe that your life has value. Before your choices have value, you must feel that you yourself have value. Before you can dream a great dream for your future, you have to believe that your future matters. Before you can build positive habits of resolve and commitment, before you can begin to live the Japanese proverb, "Fall seven times, stand up eight," you must believe that your life matters. Before you can celebrate your life, you must Honor it. And, before you can feel unity with, and Honor toward, Spirit and all creation, you must Honor yourself to feel worthy of that unity.

It is wonderful to feel one's purpose, one's value, one's confidence and self-respect - that is, one's Self-Honor. But, how to achieve Self-Honor?

I Honor My True Self - I grant myself the Honor of being ME. I am unique in all time and space. I am beyond perceived scarcity, obligation, and the need for approval. I am Honored that Spirit has chosen to create ME.

Whether or not you are already able to fully feel the emotions and motivations as genuine, LIVE the other seven Points of an Inspired Life. It is somewhat like what Thich Nhat Hanh says about a smile, "Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." LIVING the Eight Points of an Inspired Life brings them into being. In particular, living the other seven Points, creates the Self-Honor that is essential to becoming fully engaged in living an Inspired Life.

1 comment:

thanks again for the beautiful message. i must honor myself as a special person created by god. that, i am different, unique and not to be compared with others. i have been gifted a beautiful mind of my own that i can be useful of. i will never be confused by other people's way of thinking the way i am. i am myself, as planned by god to do things in a special way. i will live my life as the way it should be in god's way. forever i am grateful for everything that i received from above. this is my life, nobody else but me.

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