Pages

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Dispatches from the Bridge: Remember Me

Hey everybody, it's Angel Truffles! It sure feels good to be back...have you missed me?

I need to start out by apologizing for leaving so suddenly. I was needed here at the Rainbow Bridge so quickly there just wasn't any time to say good-bye. You've all been such dear friends to Mommy and me and it seems so unfair.

So what happened? That's a really good question and I'm going to try to explain.

***************

Over the 4th of July weekend Mommy was getting concerned because I seemed to breathing a little heavier than usual. But I was eating and pottying and doing everything else normal, plus it's been really hot and I had a couple hairball hacking sessions (with nothing to show for it), so she decided to keep a very close eye on me but was thinking a vet visit would soon be in order. I figured she was just being a worry wart like mommies tend to be.

Never in a million years would we have guessed what was yet to come...

On the evening of the 6th I jumped up into my screened-in bathroom window and took a long nap, then around 9:45 I came out to visit Mommy on the couch. She offered me a snack but I wasn't interested. Then it all happened. I started feeling really uncomfortable, moving from spot to spot on the rug, unable to find relief. I got up and ran for the bathroom crying, which I normally did when I felt a hairball coming, so Mommy was relieved that it might be coming out. I just laid down again and then headed for the kitchen floor.

That's when it got really bad. I started writhing all over and then had to open my mouth to gasp for breath. I was screaming a lot too. That's when Mommy knew we needed help. I got up to head for another room but my back legs went out from under me and I couldn't walk.

Thank Cod for my grandpa because Mommy was in no condition to drive. She stayed with me in the back seat of the car trying to comfort me and telling me everything was going to be alright and she wasn't going to leave me.

When we finally got to the emergency vet it was packed with patients, but when Mommy yelled that I couldn't breathe a vet standing there grabbed my carrier and ran out back with me. After filling out some paperwork Mommy was brought to a room where she could still hear me screaming.

The vet came in and asked my name. When Mommy told her she thought it was really cute. She explained that my back legs were cold, and a test of my blood sugar showed a big difference between my front and back legs. This told her that I had a blood clot that broke off and cut off the blood supply to my back legs, a saddle thrombus. She said I was in extreme pain and the kindest thing would be to let me go, because even if I survived the chances were very high that it would happen again.

How do you ask a Mommy to make a decision like that? Knowing she would never be able to live with herself if I had even the slightest chance, the choice was made to put me on powerful pain medication, blood thinners, and time in the oxygen cage. If I was stable in the morning an echocardiogram and further testing would be done. Mommy was allowed to visit me in the back room where the oxygen cage was located in order to say good night. She looked so scared and sad and I didn't know how to protect her because I was terrified too.

Once home Mommy started googling my condition to try to learn everything she could about it. She hadn't been home a half hour when her cell phone rang. It was the vet saying my pain meds had already worn off and I was screaming again, gasping for breath. She didn't even dare take me out of the oxygen cage to evaluate me. Mommy knew what had to be done. She had to be strong enough for both of us and let me go. She asked the vet to do what she could for me until she got back there so she could comfort me one last time.

Again grandpa drove her to the emergency vet, which took even longer this time because it was now after midnight and they got stuck behind some trucks re-painting the highway lines. As soon as they arrived CPR was stopped and I was already gone. Mommy was assured that it was definitely "my time"...nothing could have been done to save me. The vet closed us in a private room and Mommy cried over my body for the longest time.

*****************

It's beautiful here at the Bridge, but it scares me to see Mommy crying so much. It was my job to comfort her and I feel like I let her down. I want to thank all of you SO much for the outpouring of love that you've showered her with. I think this would be even more unbearable for her without it.

You know who the first kitty was to greet me at the Bridge? TARA!!! She is such a sweet lady and she's taking really good care of me. Tara sent me to Mommy after she passed away just two short years ago, and neither one of us can understand why we're up here together and once again Mommy has been left alone with a shattered heart. I don't feel sorry for myself. She gave me more love in the short time we had together than many kitties ever receive in a lifetime. But it breaks my heart to see her in so much pain.

We've decided to join forces on a super special project to find a new kitty for her to love. Whoever we choose will be so, so lucky. I'm not going anywhere...I will live forever in her heart, and I will always be right by her side, but she still has many kitties left to save until the day we're reunited here at the Bridge.

I'll still be a regular fixture here on our blog too. I inherited it from Tara, and someone else will inherit it from me, but we are all Mommy's inspiration, and for as long as she writes about cats, we will all be a part of everything she does.

77 comments:

Oh Sweet Truffles... you've got Glogirly wiping her eyes with just about anything she can find. We're so sorry you and your mom had to go through what you did. And we're especially sorry for her tears. We know you'll be there in her heart forever and ever. And knowing your mommy, that's a pretty wonderful place to be.xo

Dear Truffles, what journey of love, loss, heartache and now peace for you and hopefully peace soon for your mom on your intertwined journeys. Pet parents always wonder could they have done more, something different but in this case you mom can rest easy knowing she went beyond the extra mile.

I was thinking about you today and came over just to see if you had written. Wonderful to hear from you Truffles. I am crying for your mommy's broken heart. I know the feeling all too well. Time will lessen the pain, but never the love. I hope she can soon find herself smiling over good memories of you. Melissa, take care of yourself. Many hugs and prayers ~Rascal and Rocco

Thanks for feeling us in Truffles. I know you said no tears, but gosh is that hard! I've seen cats with this kind of pain before, and it is heartbreaking. We wish you didn't have to go so soon and miss you!

Thank you for your message Angel Truffles - I'm sorry you were scared and in pain, but I'm glad you are with Tara and others who have welcomed you. Sending you, Tara, and your mom much love as you help her find a new kitty to love. Your mom has a big heart and we know she needs to share it with a cat while she misses you and Tara.

Angel Truffles, thank you for sharing your experience with us. So many kitties can relate to facing the unexpected sometimes. We send our love and be sure to look for the best-looking Maine Coons at the Bridge..!

oh my, like Glogirly, I am crying and my heart is broken all over again. What you all went through, I cannot even begin to comprehend. As MK said, this is one of the most beautifully written posts I have ever read. I just wish Truffles were still here and that it didn't have to be written. Thank you also for giving us some "signs" of things to look for if we see similar things happening with our own kitties.I know this had to have been one of the most painful, if not THE most painful posts you have ever written Melissa, and you are one BRAVE woman.I know that Tara and Truffles are working hard at the Bridge, not only watching over you and protecting you, but they are making plans to send just the right kitty your way, when the time is right.Sending you much love, thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. xoxo

You know TW is a mess again cos that’s the same thing that happened to Nicky, her “heart” cat. She’s always remember the screaming. Please, Truffles, if you see Nicky give him kisses and hugs for her. He was a big ol’ lover. Because of her allergies and the fact that she lost 2 cats in a week, she wasn’t gonna get a new one but her friends and coworkers wore her down.

Oh Truffles... Your mum must miss you so much. Reading this post, I'm in tears as is Peep #1. We miss you loads but your mum misses you so very much more. But, I suspect, that hearing from you again, from over on your side of the Bridge, will be of great comfort to her, for sure.

Please take care and if you happen to meet up with Nissy, please give him a hug and kiss from me.

*weeping* What a generous spirit and lovely kitty-girl, thank you for the message. You've touched many hooomin harts here. So glad you and Tara found each other. Seren-Kitty, Karma-Kat and Magical-Dawg all send wags and purrs

Truffles, thank you for writing to us from the Rainbow Bridge. You did a beautiful job expressing what happened. It made our mom cry, and her heart is breaking for Mom Melissa, but we know that you and Tara are watching over her together from the Rainbow Bridge. We know that you two will do a fantastic job finding another kitty to share his/her life with your mom. We are sending all of our love to you and your mom. Oh, and keep an eye out for Phoebe and Madeline - those are our mom's childhood cats that crossed over the bridge a few years ago. They are super nice and lots of fun.

We want to thank your Mommy for writing about and sharing your experience. It is so hard to lose a pet when your are expecting it, but it is devastating when you do not. We send your our condolences, our purrs and strength. What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. Truffles and Tara will forever remain in your life.KissesNellie and Mommy

I am almost in tears after reaidng this. *Hugs* I had to say goodbye to two of my pet rats in the last year and it's just so hard. I still remember them fondly, but also with sadnes sin my heart as I just wish they were still here. It get's easier, but also the pain never completely leaves as those rats still have a part of my heart. It helps having the other two rats still around. I hope Tara and Truffles send you a new kitty soon!

Truffles our Mom had to stop and remove her glasses and wipe away the tears, all Mommies know the pain your Mommy went through when she had to say goodbye for now. We know it was a very scary time for you and for her. We know though that you will be watching over her, just like Angel Tara and helping guide her to a another soul to save. We are glad you will still be joining us online to pop in and say hello. We miss you, but give a big head butt to Abby and Gracie for us, OK?

Truffles, we hope you know that we will all hold your Mom up until you and Tara find her that new special kitty to heal her broken heart. We know that this all took tremendous courage and that the tears that come now are to soften the edges your mom's hurt. Thank you for sharing your story, and we will watch for you ... and the new little adventurer you will send into your mom's loving hands...

Sweet, sweet Truffles. What a darling you are to worry so much about your Mommy - she will miss you and surely think of you every single day. You brought her such love, joy, and companionship and the memories of that can never be taken from her heart. While it won't be easy and there is no such thing as replacing a pet that has gone, we are grateful to hear one day your Mommy will be opening her heart and home to a new kitty in need.

Purrs of love, understanding and support from Deb and the Zee/Zoey kitties. And extra special purrs from Mr. Jazz - we just know he has welcomed Truffles with open paws... xoxo

Truffles, our mom's eyes got all leaky reading your story...and we admit, we're pretty sad too. We're sorry you have left this world so suddenly...we'll miss you. But we look forward to reading more about your and Tara's adventure to find your mom the purrfect kitty to love again. We send lots of purrs to your mom.

Truffles, I am so sorry that you went through so much, including seeing your Mommy so sad and just knowing you would have to leave her for a while! And Mommy, my heart expresses what words cannot...will continue to pray and look forward to seeing who Truffles and Tara will send to you! It will truly be a special baby with both of them looking out for you, one who will truly love you and receive the love you will lavish on it. Blessings!!

PS As hard as this was to write, thank you so much for sharing your symptoms those last days...a way to help us watch our fur babies for things we might not take as much note of, My sis has an older Maine Coon who is now on blood thinners...has had various heart challenges...she has asked me to pray that he not throw a clot, and I have double reason to pray so. Sis is a younger widow and this would be so hard for her to go through alone. And Truffles, purr hello to my babies there! Miss them SO much, but sometimes I think of them in the sunshine chasing butterflies and romping.

I didn't make it past the first line before I was sobbing. My daughter and I said goodbye to our sweet Keeko in December. He went quickly also, only a matter of hours. He had been a part of our lives for 9 years and we always felt so honoured that he found us and chose us to be his family. He was a quiet, kind and funny boy. We will never forget him. I do know that, when he can, he'll find a cat in need of a home and send him our way. Maybe Truffles can find him and be his buddy. Thank you so much for writing this.

truffles, we know how hard this post was for you and your mom to write; we also know that your mom gave you the greatest gift of all...love.....and that she never will stop loving you; or tara. may mom's heart be comforted in knowing you both watch over her and you always will, and the love you have for her ... is never ending ♥♥♥♥♥

We've been thinking of you and Mommy lots, Truffles. It was so thoughtful of you to fill us in on what happened, and why you had to leave so suddenly. We're glad you're there with Tara, and that you both will always be with your Mommy, in her heart. Much love to you, Tara and Mommy.

I'm so glad that you were able to tell us your story, Truffles. There are some things that happen to us in life that we will never understand until we have finished our work here too. You are in good company at the bridge. Say hello to my Obi-Wan. He went there before he was 2 years old. Don't worry, you didn't let your mommy down. You opened up a place to save the life of another kitty. -Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net

You are one of several kitties that we know had this - they all went to the Bridge. Your Mom could not have done anything to help you. It was your time. We know you will watch over her with Tara and some day another kitty will come into her life. Look for our Chica, Yoko, Joey and Lily at the Bridge and give them a hug from us!

Aaaaaw Truffles weez so sowry yous had to be in pain. And weez can't help but cwy cuz we didn't get to be furiends fur very long. But weez sure did luv you and purreciate yous furiendship. We will always keep a little piece of you in our hearts. And we will luv and adore whoever yous send to yous mommy to help her. We know yous will send just da wight kitty. And weez glad yous not in any pain anymore. Weez sendin' lots of purrs and purrayers.

Thank you for your beautiful message, Angel Truffles. We know you said "no tears", but we cannot held them... We're sad you and your mom had to go through this so unexpectedly. We send her lots of purrs, and we know that Angel Tara and you are looking for the purrfect kitty for your mom. Say "hi" to our Angel Loupi. Purrs

Comment from Mary: Truffles' post today was beautiful - I have many, many cats and dogs waiting for me at the Bridge, some who were old and tired and ready to go, some who were too young. I take comfort in the old Persian belief that whenever a new cat comes, the spirit of the old cat stays to watch over it. Sounds like Tara did this for Truffles and the chain will continue. Blessings and prayers as you continue your work !

Oh, the tears are flowing for your mommy, Truffles.....I know you will stay with her always...oh, and could you look for Miss Kitty, my baby girl who passed away last November....we miss her very much.

Thank you for telling your story Truffles. My mum is in tears too with the memories it brings back. I am so sorry you had to leave so soon but know you will always be watching over your mum. You and Tara will live on in her heart forever.

Angel Truffles, this is so beautiful. You gave your Mommy just as much love as she gave to you, and that love will live in her heart forever. She now has two beautiful angels watching over her. We will miss you so much.

Mom has leaky eyes too.Reading this brought back memories of when Tillie died suddenly.The Vet was trying to keep her alive till mom got there with CPR.We are glad you are no longer in pain and that the Bridge is wonderful.We hope that your Mom will find comfort knowing you are at peace.W know she will take a while to stop missing you.so we send her comforting purrs.Purrs Georgia and Julie,Treasure and JJ

Truffles, beautiful girl. I cry because I know those moments were so scary for you and your mama. And I cry because I know the pain of a shattered heart. You were both so lucky to have one another even if that time here on the Earth was so short. As you explain to all of us, what matters most is all the love that was shared and continues to sustain you both. Please work together with Tara to find a kitty was can be your mama's friend, and who needs her. As we all know there are many kitties who would be so happy to be safe and loved by someone as kind as Melissa. Peace little girl. I'm so sad that you are not here with us but am positive your essence will flow through mama onto her blog posts.

How sad and touching. I am too emotional right now to write much, but this is a beautiful post. Also, I am glad you and Tara will help your Mom save another kitty. I was afraid her heart would be too broken from your leaving that she would be afraid to love another kitty.

Oh, Truff. We're so sorry you had such an ordeal and wish it could have been easier for you. We know how hard it is for your mommy and we're here if she needs us. We know she'll open her heart to an amazing kitty when it's time. You will always be with her, and with us, too. - Love Alana and Crepes.

Oh Truffles, what an awful thing for you and your human to have to go through! But life is like that sometimes and it can't be helped. I am just relieved you suffered only briefly. We are all so sad that you had to leave so soon and so suddenly, but so happy to have had you in our lives - in your short life you did so much for other kitties. I know whichever kitty you and Tara pick out someday will be the perfect one to step into your lovely paws.

What a sad and confusing thing for both of you, Truffles. We'll try to take care of your mom while you're at the Bridge, and hope you and Tara find another kitty soon. There is nothing like a kitty to help heal a broken heart when another has left.

I'm in floods of tears. I know this was hard for both of you to write, and very frightening and and sad to go through. Truffles, your Mommy will never forget you and neither will your friends, but we are glad you are not hurting anymore. And we're glad you and Tara are looking out for your Mommy and trying to find her a new kitty to love and comfort her - never to take your place, but to have her or his own place in her heart. Many comforting thoughts to you and hugs to your Mommy.

Awwww, we are so sorry. We don't understand why you had to go to the Bridge so soon, either. We hope that you are keeping our Jewel company - she didn't know any other kitties when she was here with us that are at the Bridge now.

You had one of the behaviors Jewel did in her final days, and it was hard for the Mom to watch. We will always be here for your mom, so please let her know that if she needs anything, she can count on us!

Hard so hard. We read up on Truffles sudden malady right after you wrote Melissa. even though I did not know Truffles long i did take her to my heart as we all did. So I knew pretty much about the symptoms. You were absolutely right not to let her suffer, I am so glad of that. Miss you, Truffles! Carol, Peaches and Paprika

Truffles, we are so sad you had to leave this plane and journey to the next so suddenly...but we thank Cod that you are happy and with Tara. Our paws are crossed that the two of you help another kitty find your Mom when she is ready, and we know you will always be there in spirit...just a whisper away.

Oh Truffles, we are so sad that you had to leave so unexpectedly and suddenly...we cried reading this, such a heart-felt post from you, sweet girl. Much love to you and to Tara and to your Mom, our thoughts are with each of you...

Truffles, we are so sad you had to leave so suddenly and be in so much pain. Thanks for sharing your story and for watching over your mom. We know you and Tara will send her a wonderful new kitty to save and we will welcome him/her with open paws!

Dearest Truffles, Several months ago I heard of another kitty who suffered from this same horrible illness. That kitty also went to the rainbow bridge. At that time, I learned a few facts about this ultimately fatal disease. I am so, so sorry that you had to suffer even a single moment of pain, and I am also sorry that your mommy's heart was shattered to have to see you go through this. Your suffering has prompted me to try to learn more about this disease. I also have a friend who's kitty (Max) has been diagnosed with a heart condition that can lead to this situation. Although he receives medication, it is no guaruntee to prevent the disease, and my friend lives in dread of Max shooting a blood clot. I believe this condition may also affect dogs. I hope a cure is found one day so no kitty or puppy ever has to suffer from this pain again. I am so happy to hear that you (and Tara) will continue, in spirit, to help mommy with this blog.

Oh Meow Truffles, this was so sudden we miss you. We know that you are watching over us and have a lot to do but please send some purrs for all who are in need who do not have a loving family. You are probably doing that and organizing things but just making sure. We will send love purrs and prayers to them and your Mom too cause we know she misses you so very much.Love Purrs and Prayers from us all!Timmy Dad and Family

Oh Meow Truffles, this was so sudden we miss you. We know that you are watching over us and have a lot to do but please send some purrs for all who are in need who do not have a loving family. You are probably doing that and organizing things but just making sure. We will send love purrs and prayers to them and your Mom too cause we know she misses you so very much.Love Purrs and Prayers from us all!Timmy Dad and Family

It was so very sudden. You will never be forgotten! Every human handles loss differently, there is nof right or wrong way. We have enough furs so she will never be alone, but if one of us passes, we know she will have another fur to bring her joy in the future. Each precious furry one has their own special spot in her heart. My mom still gets wet eyes thinking about her last dog who passed 11 years ago, and that is alright.

I worked in a veterinary ER for a year or two, and I saw quite a few kitties with saddle thrombus. It broke my heart every time, because those cats were so painful and there is so little that can be done to help. I'm so sorry that happened to your family.

I thought I was sobbing before ... I am so sorry. What I wrote in response to the fears you posted on Facebook about fearing this week in July now seems completely flippant and inadequate. I'm sorry I didn't know just how horrible this was for you ... but I'm sorry most of all because there's nothing I can do to ease your pain. Nothing I can do to bring your beautiful girl back to you. But I do understand at least a little because I love my cats more than I love myself and I haven't gotten over the one I've lost even though it's been almost 10 years. Your writing is so powerful ... your voice so full of emotion ... than anyone who's ever lost their companion can't help but sob along with you. I wish I could give you a hug, but if there's any way I can help you through this week with all the terrible memories, please let me know.