n Doug Lunney of the Winnipeg Sun, on Canadian scientists trying to pinpoint the exact age of a 19th-century sugar-maple hockey stick: "It's believed to be the first one used by Chris Chelios."

n Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on opponents' only hope of derailing the Bronx Bombers this postseason: "A-Rod is immediately retired by the Yankees and put out to stud."

n Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on President Obama winning a 2009 Nobel Peace Prize: "Runner-up was Kansas athletic director Lew Perkins, who kept members of the Kansas football and basketball teams from killing each other."

n Houston Mitchell of the Los Angeles Times, on the hapless Redskins supplying four of their six opponents with their first win of the season: "Washington Generals ask if they can play Redskins next."