Sunday, March 12, 2006

Silly Sunday

Large, loft-style apartments in New York are within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not.

At least one out of every pair of identical twins is born evil.

If you are blonde and pretty, it's possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at age 22.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will soon be thrown through it.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

All grocery bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone else on the street will know all the steps.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their opposite.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.