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I’m a forty-something female in the early throws of a mid-life crisis. All of a sudden, my eyes are roaming over men’s bodies as I walk through a shopping complex. I even find myself holding my breath as I walk past (am I actually holding my stomach in?). I’m suddenly concerned about just how white my teeth are, and have noticed that my gorgeous body has been replaced with a body of a blob, with breasts sliding down my chest, and cottage cheese for legs.

So, this is what they call a Mid-life Crisis? It seems that this is the time in my life when I am supposed to somehow ignore what my body is screaming at me, and reach for a knitting pattern or make jam (nothing against knitting or jam making).

I can feel the FORCE of this transformation surging inside of me. It is a very vital energy, and while I know it needs to be controlled, I don’t want to lose it, as it is the most alive that I have felt in a long time.

So, I lift my breasts up off the floor, buy some tooth whitening paste, start walking regularly and eating well, and say to the world “Bring it on!”