Keith Hackett's verdict

1) I can't say I ever faced this scenario in my career, but it's best to be prepared for anything... You'll have to say no: one of your roles as a ref is to protect the image of the game. And if anyone argues, point them towards these two facts: the initial "Notes on the Laws" refer only to men and women, not chimps, and in any case, in open-age football, the chimp would have to be over 16 years old – so he's the wrong species, and he's underage too... Thanks to Richard Clifton for the question. 2) Although the defender headed the ball to his keeper, he used his foot to allow him to do so. So, pretty clearly, the defender has attempted to circumvent the law. Caution (yellow card) the defender, and restart with an indirect free-kick to the attacking team from where he headed the ball. Michael Lee wins the shirt. 3) No: play on. The keeper is allowed to gather the ball when bouncing it, and although the ball has become stuck in the mud, his bouncing is not considered complete until the ball returns to his hands. The law also states that "a goalkeeper is considered to be in control of the ball while in the act of bouncing it". Your only other consideration at this stage is whether the pitch is still playable. Thanks to John Lennon.