Sunday, May 30, 2010

Well, I had my first date with Antonio. And he turned out to not be a creepy, serial killer as one might expect of an internet-based date. So, the fact that I'm still alive is a major plus. But, to be honest, I feel better than just alive. The date was amazing!

It started with dinner at a very nice restaurant, Cafeteria, in Chelsea. We started with drinks (Cosmo for me, of course) and quickly fell into a very comfortable, interesting, funny conversation. There weren't any lulls or awkward silences. We have so much in common (music, movies, etc). Looking back, I may have talked too much. Oh well, the second drink made me just a little tipsy.

I started wondering what two people on a date do after dinner. I didn't want it to end, so I was happy when he suggested getting cupcakes from a bakery a few avenues over. Of course, I had run 2 miles and done hundreds of crunches earlier in the day, but I figured I could cheat just that one time.

We took dessert to High Line, which is this park in Chelsea / Hell's Kitchen that used to be an old railroad track. It's beautiful how they transformed the tracks and everything into a gorgeous park. We sat and enjoyed the view of the Hudson and talked.

After dessert we walked down the cobblestone streets. I was surprised to see such famous stores in the neighborhood (DVF and Alexander McQueen). We went back to his apt and watched our fave episodes of Sex and the City. Maybe there was a kiss or two. I don't kiss and tell - I'm a lady.

It was really sweet when he kissed me as the cab pulled up. It was a perfect evening!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Well, today was the big day! Today was the long-awaited return of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Charlotte! I am a huge Sex and the City fan! I believe that it's the most insightful, humorous and profound TV show ever. The series was flawless (aside from those two dumb episodes in Los Angeles) and the first movie was perfect. Naturally, there is only one way to go - down. I was not thrilled with the idea of my four girls going to the Middle East. I mean, the fifth main character in the show is New York City.

But, I am happy to say that it was PERFECT!! It didn't go down, it went up! The writing was still amazingly funny and poignant. The story, though less dramatic than the first film, was funny and appropriate. All four characters seem to be exactly where one would expect them to be two years after the first movie. Everything seemed to just fall back into place. The ending could not have been better. There won't be a third movie, so they really had to nail this ending. They did!

The best part of the whole movie is when they are getting ready to go for a camel ride. They go change and come out in their Abu Dabi attire - picked out by Abdul (like Paula). Ah, Samatha's gay servant was a riot. "Divas and Dunes" begins to play, which is a mix of the SATC theme with a little Middle Eastern flair. They strut out in slow motion. It's perfection personfied. It has an infectious vibe.

The best part of the whole experience was that after it ended, I was Carrie Bradshaw as I walked down the New York street. I went shopping for new clothes, got a smoothie and enjoyed the wonderful weather as I walked home.

But, back to the movie. I want to see it again and again! I could watch it forever! Congrats ladies! The movie can be summed up in one word - Fabulous!

Monday, May 24, 2010

I had a conversation with a friend recently about sleeping with an ex. She recently broke up with her boyfriend who was a complete douche. He had kinda cheated on her in the past, had anger issues and was just an all around dick. She asked me what I thought about her sleeping with him just one time for fun. My instant reaction was NO! She did it anyway, as I found out this afternoon.

She explained her point of view. She said that she made it clear that they were not back together, it was just sex. She said that it would be better to get it one last time with him than start a new relationship with someone and have to wait to have sex. She's a firm believer in waiting at least 3 months from the time you start dating to have sex.

I, very passionately, kick her opinion's ass all over Duane Reade. If a guy treats you like shit, why would you give him the satisfaction of letting him sleep with you again? I feel like sex is something that should be between two people with some sort of emotional connection. I'd never let some asshole who broke my heart have the pleasure of sleeping with me just for shits and giggles. What pissed me off even more was that we had to spend 20 minutes picking out a birthday card for him. She thought I was an asshole when I told her that I didn't wish my ex a happy birthday.

She asked me if I would sleep with my ex if the opportunity presented itself. Um...no! Why open old wounds and bring all those feelings back? Why let someone use you for sex? I never want to have someone think, "Oh, I'm horny. Let's call Rob." I'm nobody's sex toy. In summary, if you don't want to date me, there's no way in hell you can fuck me.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Usually it's a problem of not having enough. Now, it's actually the opposite. I finally got my tax refund back and I'm overloaded with such a large checking account balance. My first instinct was one word - iPhone! But, I resisted. I've managed to not do anything with the money, which ended up being $900 more than I was expecting.

Logically, I know I need to save most of it. I need $2000 for the first month's rent and security deposit on Spencer and I's new apartment. I owe my mom $500 for some tax thing that I don't understand. Whatever - she's not Dina Lohan, I trust her.

I've concluded that I have about $700 that is not already dedicated to something else (apt, mom, etc). Of course I have over $4000 in credit bills, which I suppose I could work on. But, where's the fun in that?

Here are some things I'm considering:

1) iPhone - Mt. Sinai employees get a 24% discount on AT&T service. Even though the plan would run me about $100 a month, with that discount it ends up being only about $20-25 more a month than I'm playing for my 2007, Verizon flip-phone.

2) Underwear - It's the most basic part of a man's wardrobe. Most of my underwear is boxer briefs from the Gap. Sexy? Maybe a year ago. I figure that I could get an entire new boxer brief collection from H&M for about $100-$125. But since I don't have a bf (at the moment), I figure there's no point in spending money for something sexy that no one will see.

3) Gym equipment - My lifting gloves and iPod armband are so unbelievably funky. You can't wash them so it's impossible to clean them. I work out, sweat, take them off and throw them in my bad. It's a vicious cycle. And my earbuds are the original ones that come with a new iPod. They are starting to get worn down. The left one stops working when I'm sweating profusely on the treadmill. All totaled, I could probably get everything for about $150

4) Save it - I'm going to need a bed (a real one, not the kind you inflate), furniture, a TV and a million and one things that I can't think of right now for my new apartment. If I put the money directly in my ING account, I will earn a little interest on until it comes to sign the new lease.

So many choices, but only one that seems right. Saving has never been my strongest skill. After putting some towards my credit card and buying some essentials, I've decided to save. I can't wait for the day when I have a large sum in my checking account for no special reason.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dating in college was easy. You met someone in a class, club, Greek organization and then slowly became friends. Others would notice that the two of you were getting closer and they'd suggest you date. Eventually, you two would be drinking at a party and then you finally let loose and make out (or more if you're a slut). After the awkwardness of the new morning wore off, you'd talk and decide to go out. At that point, you're an official couple and statuses can be changed on Facebook.

Dating after college is not as simple. Meeting people isn't necessarily difficult, but the courting rules are completely different. First, you rarely get the opportunity to have a long, warming up friendship period. I cannot think of one person at work that I could be the Pam to my Jim. It just doesn't happen. You meet someone and you have to make an instant decision - pursue or not.

I've also noticed that the idea of commitment is different. I'm not talking about once a relationship has been established. I'm talking about the very early stages. In college, once you were "talking" to a person or once people knew that you two were probably going to date eventually, you were more or less with that person. At least, that's how I was in college. Some call this serial monogamy. This is not the case post college and it's certainly not the case in New York.

Several months ago I went to a gay bar with Soman and some of his friends after dinner. I was under the impression that I was "kinda, sorta" with him. We weren't dating, but I thought we were in the early stages of dating (2nd date maybe). But, his friends were all suggesting that I go try to hook up with other guys. It was very confusing because I thought that I was, at least for the evening, with Soman. Apparently, one can go on a date with one person and then try to pick up another person. Who knew?

That was ages ago. Now, dating seems to be even more confusing. I've been to one formal party, one museum, and had one make-out session with Chris. I'm somewhat apathetic towards the situation for several reasons. But now that I've joined eHarmony, I've got several other possibilities on the horizon. Tristan and I have done the back and forth questionnaires and exchanged a few emails. He gave me his number and is pretty cute, so I'm thinking I might text him and maybe get coffee or do brunch. But, then I also changed my age preferences from 18 to 23 (18...ugh...children) to 20 to 30. I got several more matches today. One guy, Antonio, really stood out and I sent him some questions and an icebreaker. Now, I kinda want to go on a date with him. But what about Tristan, whom I've never met? What about Chris? Am I obligated to tell them that I'm also dating other people? At what point to I have to tell that they aren't the only person I maybe texting?

On a side note, eHarmony seems to be serving it's purpose. I could go to bars and clubs and meet guys that want to fuck and run. Or, I can create a profile that accurately describes me - my goals, personality, desires and then connect with people who are compatible. There are 8 million people in Manhattan, but how many are decent, sweeet gay guys who like Broadway, exploring the city, cuddling, etc are there? This is a good way to find people who want the same things as me.

Katherine says that you can, and are supposed to, date several people at once so you can find out who you like the most. I've always believed in talking with one person and making a decision before moving on to the next person. Juggling has never been my best skill. I guess I'll figure it out in time. Why does dating in NYC have to be so confusing?

Friday, May 14, 2010

It's been almost 12 months since I left Radford. I never really figured I'd go back. Most of my friends have graduated and moved on, so there's really no connection left. But, when I got the save-the-date for Julianna and Kevin's wedding I knew that I'd make the journey.

I'm so excited to go back! It'll be like my first vacation since I started at Sinai last July. I booked my flight, rental car and hotel. I've never flown by myself so I'm a little anxious. I mean, I've been to London, Paris, the Bahamas, Beijing and Shanghai, but I've never had to do everything solo. Oh well, I'm a big boy, I'll figure it out. The rental car was really a rip-off. They charged me $80 for the 3 days, which is a great deal. But, they then tell me that I'll have to pay an additional $25 per day because I'm under 25. Isn't that ageism? I'm staying at the Super8, which seems like the most ghetto hotel in Radford. Of course, I picked it because it's the cheapest. But, in summary, the arrangements are all finalized.

I can NOT wait to drive again and see the mountains and rivers of Southwest Virginia. I'm ready to slow down and just enjoy the scenery. New York is amazing, but it's so go, go, go. I'm always either going to work, the gym, shopping. I don't really ever just sit and relax. We have this gorgeous view from our balcony and I haven't sat and just enjoyed it...ever. I want to go to the New River after dark and hear the frogs. I want to open my hotel window and hear the crickets. I want to visit all my old spots (including Wal-Mart - oh Wal-Mart how I've missed you). Of course, the main attraction of the trip will be seeing all my RU BFFs. I am excited to see Cupcake and Hot Sauce again (Emily and Julianna). I can't wait to see Debbie in admissions and Debbie in NSP (Check it out!).

I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. It's going to be weird going back to the place that I spent 4 years of my life. It'll never be the same. I'll never sleep in the dorms again, make dinner in Highland Village, clock in at the bookstore, give a tour, or take an exam. It'll be weird to be in the same place physically, but in such a different place mentally.

Monday, May 10, 2010

After a prolonged and difficult break-up, Katherine decided to make a fresh start. She started working out with Jimmy to get back into shape and set up an eHarmony account to find a guy that'll treat her the way she deserves. I can relate to the stuff she's going through. I did the break up thing and got a trainer and have begun feeling normal again. But, I've never seriously started dating again. Sure, a speed date here and dinner with older guy there, but those don't really count.

She suggested that I set up an eHarmony account so I could find someone. She made her case. Anyone on there would be someone looking for a serious relationship. If they just want to hook up, they could use Craigslist for free. It would be a good way to meet people that's more civilized and safe - no bars or clubs and no alcohol would be involved. And that's a good thing because I may say that I want a husband, but when I drink, I tend to just want...well, never mind.

So, I figured that I'd give it a shot. Here's where the second part of the blog title comes into play. I went to eHarmony.com and said that I was a man interested into men. They offered to take me to their sister site, CompatiblePartners.com. Apparently, eHarmony can't handle all the extra work of matching gay people. I put in my basic information. Before I could move on, I read the little asterisked paragraph at the bottom. It said that the compatibility / matching techniques were only tested on straight, married couples. They couldn't guarantee my results. That's right; I forgot that gay people are a different species. I forgot that we don't feel emotions the same way, can't describe our goals the same way, or click boxes with our personality traits the same way that straight people can. That's a short side note, but it's pretty offensive.

After filling out what seemed like a million boxes about myself, I finally saw that I had six initial matches. I can see their profiles and read a little about them. I can't talk to them or see their pics until I fork over the money first. It's $25 a month and it's billed quarterly, so it'd be one payment of $75 for 3 months. Hmm...it's tempting. Katherine even said that she'd give me $20 for doing it. But, as she and I were walking to the cafeteria to get lunch today, a guy walked past and looked me up and down (focusing on the crotch). I realized that if I really wanted a guy, I could just get one. If I had wanted him, I could have looked him up and down and smiled. I don't think I'll sign up for eHarmony's red-headed stepchild, sister site.

And then after all the work of inputting all my hopes and dreams, my likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses, Chris texted me and asked if I'd like to go on a proper date. All that work and I got a date the old fashioned way...well, the 2010 old-fashioned way. I’m a little excited. I’ve never really done the whole dinner and a movie kind of date. It doesn’t help that I’m re-watching Sex and the City and just crave romance. Oh well, I’ll just see what happens.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Wow! Facebook has been buzzing with the excitement of graduation. It wasn't until I saw all the countdowns and anticipation for the big day that it really sunk in that I had graduated a year ago. The time has really flown! I can't believe all that I've done in the past year.

In one year, I...

- Got a job at Mount Sinai Medical Center - Moved to New York - Broken up with my first boyfriend- Hired a personal trainer - Made several dear and genuine friends - Seen 1 Off-Broadway and 4 Broadway shows - Went to a Britney Spears concert - Tried speeding dating with older men - Visited the Guggenheim and Metropolitan Museum of Art - Met a very interesting guy whom I am still trying to figure out - Saw Whitney Houston at the GMA summer concert in Central Park - Sat in the audience for a taping The Marriage Ref (with guest, Madonna) - Experienced two separate, drunken adventures in Brooklyn

Some of those things were big (like moving to New York and saying goodbye to Mr. Big) and some were small (like trips to museums and...ugh...other boroughs). Looking back on everything, I can see the extraordinary changes I've made in my life. I know that where I am is where I am supposed to be.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I've come to the conclusion that I have an obsessive personality. I can never do anything in moderation. If I try something new and like it, then I instantly want to do it all the time. When I went paintballing in Connecticut I decided that it would be my new hobby. I found a place in Queens and wanted to get a group together. Eventually, I kinda forgot about it, but for that split second I was hooked.

I've noticed that the way I listen to music is obsessive. I heard What is Love by Jennifer Lopez at the end of The Back-Up Plan. I instantly downloaded it and put it on repeat for about two days. Then I heard Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus and that on repeat now. I heard the Glee version of Physical and that's also constantly being played on my iPod. I hear a song, love it, play it a million times, and then get sick of it. Then, eventually, I'll fall in love with it again (3 and Circus by Britney Spears has made its way back onto my gym playlist).

And the one thing I'm obsessed with the most is the gym. I tend to obsess about what I eat and how often and long I work out - that's normal. But recently, I took my monthly pic to track my progress and send it to a friend. He said that I was losing the V shape in my lower abs. This shouldn't have surprised me since I had been eating a little too much ice cream (and any is really unacceptable). Then Jimmy grabbed my side and was kinda surprised that there was skin / fat to grab. Now, to be logical, it does make sense. I take Creatine, NoXplode and whey protein to gain muscle and size. But, ever since, I've really watched what I eat and have been gyming it up hardcore. I've added a lot more cardio!

I can't tell if my obsessive personality is just a trait or a problem. I would say that it isn't really a problem...yet.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Yesterday I......I met up with Jen Varley in Columbus Circle. We planned to go to The Boathouse for lunch. This was my second failed attempt to walk from the west side to the east side of Central Park. After about 20 minutes, we found a map and realized that we only actually ended up walking 20 blocks north and were nowhere close to the Boathouse. We ended up walking past Lincoln Center and Julliard's School of Design building to a Greek restaurant. We were able to get a table on the sidewalk. It was my time having Greek food and it was amazing and healthy! It's really cool to see who you stay friends with after college. Sometimes it's the people would wouldn't expect.

...I saw a little girl (about 10 or 11) try to decide what to order at Planet Smoothie. Her mother made a suggestion and she said no because it had too many calories. It's really sad that little kids have that adult pressure at such an early age.

...I walked past two gay men fighting over their dog. It was really embarrassing. They were screaming at each other and playing tug-of-war with the dog. The dog starting yelping and then people started to stare. I was like, "OMG, just keep walking." Why would you want someone in your life that makes you that mad? I would rather not be with a guy if he's gonna make me that angry, which, too me, is really ugly. A relationship should bring out the best, not the worst.

... I went to Victoria's Secret and then to see A Nightmare on Elm Street with Erin. She got a coupon for a free pair of underwear. She and I rummaged through for a sexy pair (this is what a gay BFF is for) only to find out the coupon was only for the simple, granny-panties in some bin. The movie was really good! I don't remember seeing the original, but I was familiar with the plot. A lot of people complain about all these remakes, but I think they add depth and psychology that was lacking in the originals. This movie showed the background of why Freddy was attacking these teenagers and it was sad and disturbing, but it was a well-developed plot. One thing that really stuck out was there was a man and a little girl (way too young to see this movie) sitting behind us. As the movie progressed and got scarier and scarier, Erin and I sunk deeper and deeper into our seats. We jumped and covered our eyes and even screamed a little (she did, not me - I swear). At one point, I had my foot on the chair in front of me and something scary happened and I ended kicking my leg way up the air. We didn't hear the girl behind us scream once.