I think when we think of negative ESTJs, they're probably a different personality type masquerading around as ESTJs...therefore, they radiate negative energy because they are acting as personalities that drain them.

This is just an example, and may not be entirely within another person's experience, but when NFs attempt to act like ESTJs, they often display only the negative aspects of the ESTJ personality: controlling and illogical, often tyrannical and micromanaging.

Whereas an ESTJ in his natural environment, he is fun, proactive, goal-oriented and has a tendency to attract just about everyone on every level.

I have an ESTJ co-worker, who has made her way up the latter into management without the post graduate degrees that her counterparts have obtained. She is the most laid back person that I know, but a hard worker. She has that leisurely style that Oldham describes. She can lead, but has no ego when she does not have to. I think the average person would consider her a perceiving type based on her laid back style.

My grandmother is a very strong ESTJ. Being around her has led me to respect ESTJ's a great deal. They are very old-school, and I mean OLD-SCHOOL. I'm guessing they don't like change? Anything of the sort would lead them to fear. Whenever something wasn't settled, or not set in stone, it made her uncomfortable, and she would do her best to have everything revolve around a strict schedule.

I respect how orderly, and programed their lives are..something I would never be able to rise to doing..

I was recently married to an ESTJ for fourteen years. I'd consider it the longest and bloodest battle in relationship history (others would greatly agree).

I honestly think we stayed together simply from my loyalty and his insecurities. In the end, there were absolutely no workable aspects to our relationship. (Although he still tries to report to me and I still blast him for wasting my time!) The joys of diversity!

My view on the personality:

Extremely structured (anything outside their view is ready for the rod)
Supreme delegates (although lacking insight into those they control)
Attention whores (crave it for survival)
Hypocrites (absolutely no introspection or acknowledgement of self)
Butt lickers (claim to have connections they don't)
Undeveloped criminals (here chicky, chicky...)

Ok. Those views are a bit critical. Let me state some positive aspects...

Fantastic social skills (I could make a career out of holding every one they plot with accountable)
Second to none on covering their ass (I'm not responsible - you are!)
Mad dogs (shredding everything in their path even those they love)
Concerned (to excessive degrees)
Great with details (every little one - blah blah blah)
Complete understanding of social norms (anything other... forget it - not happening!)

I've also worked closely with a co-worker for the past eight years (it's took us that long to appreciate our differences). She's awesome and she'll manage any business plans I have. Love all you guys!

You are absolutely right. Considering the fact that an ESTJ created this thread, I don't know if it's the best idea to vent about what tight-assed, heartless tools they are all the time. (I'm thinking of you, sharpedges, when I write this, since your "positive aspects" were all negative.... I'm pretty sure that "second to none on covering their ass" isn't a compliment.) All in all, it's really hurtful.

Of course, I'm kind of sensitive, because in what I figure (and I'm probably wrong) to be the ESTJ manner, whenever someone criticizes me and they're right, I tend to retreat into my own head and wallow in self-pity. (e.g. "Oh god, they're right about me. I'm a heartless tool. How can anyone think I'm a decent human being?") And that's how I feel when I read this thread. A lot of people are pissed at ESTJs, and for good reason. It makes me rethink the whole Myers-Briggs principle of no type being "better" than any other. (LOL, pity party! sorry about that.)

I've also started to feel like people in the media feel the same way about ESTJs. Whenever I look up movie characters of my type, they're all awful people, or at least horrifically obnoxious and controlling. They're all cubicle bosses, or people who deny food to poor starving children. This may be funny at first, but after a while it really kills your self-esteem (kind of like body image BS in advertising and the fashion industry).

On to my point: could we not be so hateful? Let's think of ESTJs like they're people, and not robots (LOL, killer robots who like organizing pencils by length and quality of eraser). Or, at least, if you are stereotypical, how about doing it in a friendly way? I.E. We ESTJs know that we're strong personalities. We know why people hate us (at least, I do... I tend to analyze myself a lot...), so it isn't really necessary to be mean. We're already mean enough to ourselves - I mean, for God's sake, we already register almost any tiny mistake as ABSOLUTE FAILURE AND DISHONOR TO THE WHOLE FAMILY.

i've had a bad view of ESTJ's, but listening to all you guys, i think i may have a change of heart . i think my slanted views must have come from the only ESTJ person i know - my aunt. honestly, she didn't have the smarts that some of these ESTJ's i hear about have. she is old school as anybody and is very militant about it. her husband basically has no breathing room. the positive side of her character though is that she does look out for everyone, perhaps because of obligation. she'll give anyone in her family vitamins and such she hears about etc. she's also a very diligent housewife.

my aunt pisses me off in general, but honestly, she may be an ESTJ which doesn't know balance. any extreme is not a good thing.