Tag Archives: men at work

I became profoundly aware that Betty has wicked research skills as she walked me around the island last year pointing out unique and interesting things that even residents didn’t know. However, I believe it would be remiss of me not to share with Betty the 52 years of knowledge that I have accumulated about Australia prior to her departure. The fact that I have both a daughter AND a dog named Sydney uniquely qualify me for this task, and I hope that Betty will find the depth of my knowledge of benefit as she travels down under.

Should you encounter a Water Buffalo along the obstacle course, take these simple steps: Look the beast in the eye while humming deep in your throat like a chanting monk. Reach out with the hand-sign of the Texas Longhorns toward the buffalo’s forehead. This will subdue the beast into slumber, and you can continue the course without incident. (The classic “Rock and Roll” hand-sign will also work in a pinch.)

Kookaburras sit in gum trees. They fancy themselves royalty, and laugh a lot. Kookaburras are gay.

If you should find yourself glowing at any point during your trip, do not be alarmed. It is typical in the land down under for women to glow, and men plunder.

If you should find time to refresh yourself along the banks of a large river while wearing a one-piece body thong, remember to remove your canteen! Crocodiles are forever snatching canteens from about sexy women’s necks!

Occasionally, a man may smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich. I highly recommend that you eat it.