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Monthly Archives: July 2013

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Recently I have allowed my alter ego to rear her ugly head. For this I am ashamed. This sounds dramatic, I know, but let me explain. I hope you won’t judge me as harshly as I have been guilty of doing as of late.

Have you ever met someone and instantly felt not just the lack of a connection but serious irritation when around said individual? I don’t often dislike people I meet and think of myself as accepting, friendly and patient with others. However, I met someone recently that seemed to crawl right under my skin at our initial introduction and stayed there, prickling me like stinging nettles as though I had rolled naked in a patch of them! Usually I would think that this was just a delayed rapport and overlook my bitchiness but for some reason I just couldn’t seem to bring my head around to where my heart wanted it to be. I confess to being ashamed by my lack of character because I proceeded to be judgmental and harsh in my outlook toward this person. I had thought that I had left these mean girl feelings in the dust long ago but I was obviously mistaken. I have some work to do inside myself to understand my reaction.

I don’t feel threatened or jealous in any way of this individual, nor do I feel that I am superior to them in any way, shape or form. I was simply irked by them. They grated on my nerves. I actually felt the desire to punch them. Yikes! This is so not me. I feel as though I have betrayed myself by feeling so negatively about someone else. Why did this person bring out these feelings? Not only am I confused by my thoughts and feelings but disgusted with myself as well. Perhaps the nasty Twin of my Gemini being felt deprived of action and needed to break free of the chains I have shackled her with. Perhaps I need to drop kick this Twin to the curb when she gets out of sorts. I like Bubbly Twin far better than Bitchy Twin.

Despite my loathing of my being judgmental I have come to learn a bit more about myself through this experience. I have encountered a reemergence of a thought pattern I had hoped I had done away with. I guess the big lesson here, other than not judging others, is that we all have thoughts that are not always bright and sparkly. There are moments when kindness is not our strong suit. That we need to work through these moments and thoughts with the intent of compassion and acceptance because that person is dealing with their own “stuff” as much as each of us is. I do not have the right to judge another but need to accept them in each moment for who they are…right then.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

What a week it has been here in the Niagara Region of Ontario. The heat and humidity have been unbearable with most days this week over 100 degrees with the humidity. It’s been draining working outside and quite irritating to hear those that work indoors complaining about the heat while sitting in their air-conditioned splendor. It’s unnerving how heat and humidity can turn the gentlest of souls into cranky bizatches at the snap of the fingers, myself included. I was teetering on the verge of insanity a few times this week…it was not comforting, let me tell you.

Thankfully, the rains finally came last night helping to rid us of some of the humidity and the accompanying suffocating heat. Although it came at a price. We had rolling lines of powerful thunderstorms, severe winds, and tornado warnings. There were a few times we ran to the basement for cover when the rains pelted down so heavily that we couldn’t hear each other speaking and the winds contorted the trees like seasoned yogis. We had just sat down to dinner when the first wave of storms rolled in with huge dark clouds, whipping winds and rain that hit the windows like rocks. At one point the rain ceased between storm surges and a flock of seagulls took to the sky above our neighborhood, circling overhead like a warning.

Throughout the night my mind kept going to my garden. Hoping my tomato plants were holding up. I had noticed while closing up before the first rainfall that one of the plants had been bent by the winds, putting it in jeopardy of snapping off. A few stakes were strategically placed to try to stop the toppling of the tomato cages in hopes of preserving the easily snapped stems. Early this morning there was a clap of thunder so loud that I sat straight up in bed. What was my first thought? My tomatoes. I was thrilled that the gardens were getting a thorough watering but at what expense? I certainly wasn’t about to trek out into the storm and it was still dark outside so I couldn’t see if there was any destruction in the veggie patch. I am definitely a gardener to the core…or perhaps just anxious for homegrown, plump and juicy tomatoes.

First thing this morning before the neighborhood started to stir, I tiptoed barefoot out to the garden with a mug of steaming coffee in my hand to check on my little lovelies. Phew! Everything had weathered the storm far better than expected. One of my Brussels sprout plants had been partially uprooted but was easily re-positioned. Two tomato plants were tipped but not broken, thankfully. One of my potato plants’ top growth was flattened by the pelting rain but all-in-all everything looked happy to have been saturated and refreshed. I took this time to get cracking at pulling weeds while the ground was soft and still have loads more weeds to pull today since they are easier to pull out of mud than dry, compacted soil.

Yesterday was a much-needed day off. One of my least favorite things to hear from my kids is “I’m bored.” Say what!? Bored? There is so much to do! To head off boredom, I decided that my daughter and I would hit Starbucks for a morning latte then go shopping bright and early and get supplies for an at-home mini spa day. We were in experimental mode and tried out some new-to-us face masks. What a hoot! These masks came in the form of (what else but) a mask. They were a fabric piece with eye, nose and mouth holes cut in them with the product soaked into the fabric. We accepted the variance because they are vegetarian approved and not tested on animals as well as looked safe in terms on ingredients. I must say that I don’t think I’ll use this type of mask again though. I like the slap it all over your face type of mask much better.

We kept laughing like idiots every time we looked at each other and the masks kept sliding around and losing contact with the skin. Not the masks’ design flaw but our hysterics that caused the issues. After 10-15 minutes we removed the masks with great results though. Our skin was soft and non-irritated, which is a huge bonus for my overly sensitive skin. To share in the hilarity of this weird-looking product, I shall shake off the fear of looking silly and share the stupidity with you. I apologize for the photo quality since we couldn’t remain still for long without cracking up. This is the best we could do.

Masks + Laughter = Good times

After our spa session, we moved on to the dreaded task of scrubbing the deck. I think we should have done this before the spa session since my “helper” made herself scarce after a short while and I ended up doing much of it by myself. My work uniform of a tank top and shorts has left my co-workers and I with the most absurd wet suit-like tan lines. I decided that while scrubbing the deck I would try to diminish some of the severity of glaring whiteness that is my torso and don my bikini top with a pair of shorts. Not a well-planned venture on my part, I must say. Why is it that whenever I am the least dressed people start showing up? Nothing like being sweaty, half-dressed and covered with green slime from the deck and trying to be nonchalant when visitors show up! Good thing my 40-year-old self has decided to let go of my seriousness and laugh stuff off.

“Everything is blooming most recklessly; if it were voices instead of colours, there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

Have you ever thought of what it would be like if all of the actions of nature were accompanied by sound? I hadn’t until I read this quote and honestly, the thought is quite unnerving yet fascinating simultaneously. Just consider this for a moment. If left to its own devices with no interference from humans, nature works perfectly. Everything has its task to do and all functions as it should. If each blooming flower, for instance, made a series of sounds while opening would that particular progression meld beautifully with the growing and lengthening sound bite of a blade of grass? Or would the audio be off-putting? Perhaps Nature does provide a soundtrack, we just don’t hear what’s playing.

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Hi, I’m LLBG!

With this blog, I share my stories of triumphs as well as not-so-successful accounts of making my world a better place. Making our world friendlier and safer for everyone starts within our own home. Come along with me...maybe we can both learn a thing or two.