Kansas City- The incident, which lasted about five minutes, occurred during the eighth or ninth inning of the Kansas City Royals game against the Minnesota Twins. “We believe she was a little intoxicated when she decided to go for a walk in the fountain pool,” said police Major Floyd Mitchell. The woman reportedly scaled a railing then sat on a ledge of the fountain pool near the waterfall. She later tiptoed along the top of the waterfall and later fell in the pool. Police said she was fortunate she didn’t tumble over the waterfall. While in the water, she raised her hands in triumph, then climbed out of the water over a railing. When security guards tried to arrest her, she ran away and started scaling the edge of another fountain. Guards grabbed her leg and stopped her. Several people in the crowd recorded the antics on their cell phones and posted videos to YouTube. Police took custody of the woman and handcuffed her, but she didn’t cooperate with them either. She pulled one hand free and escaped briefly. She tore much of the skin off her hand to get the handcuffs off, police said. She then allegedly offered a sex act to an officer in exchange for not being arrested, police said.

Who are these cops who are turning down these blow job offers? I would be the worst cop ever. I’d say yes to all of them. I’d probably never follow through on a female arrest. If they offer I’m takin it, and at the last minute when I was doing their finger prints I’d be like “You know if you blow me I’ll let you go, right?” I mean we’re not talkin about a murderer here. We’re not worried about keeping the streets safe. Its not like setting Jessica McCoy free is putting some sex offender back on the streets to harm other people again. She’s some drunk broad who played in the fountains at a goddam Royals game. Let that chick S your D and tell her to cut out the shenanigans next time she’s at the ball park. Its really a win-win situation for everyone involved.

I would be so god damn corrupt if I was a cop. Pull over a kid whose drunk? Take his beer. Pull over a stoned kid? Pocket his weed. Drunk housewife offers me a quick beej so that her husband doesn’t backhand her later for costing him bail money? Done and done. Let me show you the back of a cop car ma’am. Also, I’d make cumming on her face part of the deal.

Always strive to be the best, if you’re gonna be a fat, drunk whore who wants to suck strangers dicks to get out of trouble, might as well be the best at it and go viral on the Internet… well done lady, you’ve done your family proud.