Why Go to the Toilet When You Can Go to a Spa-let?

Let’s face it—everybody loves Japanese toilets. As Mater found out in Cars 2, part of the thrill of visiting the Land of the Rising Sun is the novelty of going to the bathroom and pressing all those buttons. Tell us you haven’t wished you could bring one home, if only shipping or taking one home didn’t seem like such a pain in the butt.

Well, Inax—the blessed company that invented shower toilets in the first place—is now in Manila, and they’re bringing in the Satis S.

IMAGE Lixil

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There’s a good reason they call it a “spalet.” Apart from separate nozzles for front and rear cleansing, it also has a “massage mode,” in which the water pressure alternates between strong and mild. Both nozzles have a “wide" and “narrow” mode, and you can adjust the spray strength and nozzle position to your exact preference. You won’t need toilet paper anymore either, since the Satis comes with an air dryer. If you love those nature sounds you heard in Ginza’s washrooms, the Satis comes with an optional SD card so you can play whatever you want while you’re doing your thing.

There’s no need to open the windows, strike a match, or turn a fan on when you’re done with your business. The deodorizer switches on as soon as you sit on your porcelain throne, trapping unpleasant scents and eliminating them.

The “Direct Vortex Flush” feature may sound more like a Pokemon move, but what it does is clean your toilet with water pressure alone, so there’s no need to wait for the tank to refill. Germophobes will love the Satis’s Plasmacluster technology, which cleans the air with antibacterial ions.

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IMAGE Lixil

The Satis’s Aqua Ceramic feature ensures that your toilet is cleaned with every flush. On top of that, it means your bowl will remain shiny and free of disgusting stains for up to 100 years.

If you’re the type who stumbles in the dark to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, the Satis’s soft lights illuminate its bowl and base at your approach. (If you do this every night though, you should probably get yourself checked by a doctor.)

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Of course, this porcelain throne automatically flushes, and the toilet seat opens and closes itself for you too. Just make sure to tell your lola when she visits, lest she think your bathroom is haunted.