Blame it on the guys behind Soda Popinski’s (also: Tonic, Lightning Tavern, Dr. Teeth and like 6,872 other
bars). They just wanted you to have a comfortable place to drink drinks in. Like fernet or whiskey on tap.
Or a draft of Shiner Wild Hare Pale Ale. This is the only place in town where you’ll find that one.
Which... fine.

But eventually, you’re going to need to sit down. Preferably in one of those booths over there by the
window. At which point, someone will bring you a plate of tempura-battered fried bacon with spicy mustard
dipping sauce. Then you’ll say something like “Mmm.” It’ll all work out just fine.