If there was a show called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant...Because I'm Not, this would be a prime contender for the season premiere: A woman in Barcelona went to the emergency room after suffering from severe abdominal pain, and doctors declared she was pregnant. The woman, whose name is being withheld, says she was "treated with contempt," and one of the doctors said rudely to her, "Haven't you ever heard of contraception?" She was told she her pains were caused by a panic attack and sent on her way.

After two pregnancy tests came back negative, she went back to the hospital and insisted she be reexamined. At that point, they finally gave her an ultrasound, and the doctor exclaimed, "Gosh, what a huge cyst." Turns out her "baby" was actually a 24-pound uterine tumor. Given the kind of bedside manner she was getting, it's surprising the doctor was able to resisting the urge to make a Kindergarten Cop "It's not a tumaah" joke. Fortunately, she is now being treated with chemotherapy and has opened a case with officials at the hospital.