I’m a Twit, Yer a Twit, We’re all Twits an’ Nitwits!

I’m just stoppin’ by th’ office ta pick up a new pair’a boots (you don’t even wanna know what nasty stuff I had ta tromp through ta retrieve th’ intel I needed ta “obtain” fer my last employer). But since I’m here, figured I oughta stop in an’ post a lil somethin’.

So ya know those journals where people just post a buncha random Twitter junk insteada entries an’ think it amounts ta fascinating storytellin’? You know what I mean. Like:

Look what I posted on Twitter today!

ha i fell aslepp again what is up with that

yesterday i ate a snadwich it was good

i don’t really like lettuce though wat do you think?

my cat fell off the bed i am so bored

isn’t twitter awesome i wish more people actually read this

i wonder if i should brush my teeth what do u think? nah.

Yeah, I hate ’em too. But, ya know, every now-an-then ya just gotta immortalize great moments in Twitter hist’ry, an’ the first ever time I had a party that some’a you feebs crashed came to definitely counts.

It all started with foresthouse. (It’s always her fault.) I mean, I know bein’ my Number One Fan is a big responsibility an’ stuff, but really:

foresthouse: am too tired to do Deadpool Week today guys sorry I love you and Deadpool but brain is melting and eyes are unfocused and hey I need sleep.

CrazyInez: @Ask_Deadpool Well, let’s just say I haven’t forgotten about him and his cheatin’ ways…

addygryff: @Ask_Deadpool Em and my favourite merc throw a party and I’m off sleeping in a corner somewhere. figures. I woulda brought the Zirconia ;(

Ask_Deadpool: @addygryff Aw, man. I was wonderin’ where ya were. Well, next time I’ll get Sandi ta send out proper invites. Promise!

Ask_Deadpool: @addygryff I’m thinkin’ next time it’ll be a BYOO – “Bring Yer Own Ordnance” – an we can have some killer drunk fights. With bets.

Ask_Deadpool: @addygryff PS. Em said this mornin’ her head hurts like *anythin* Serves her right fer drinkin’ all them screwdrivers with no healin’ factor

FIN.

A’course, a lotta what happened ain’t immortalized on Twitter. So, to sum up: hey_frey played DJ, the fire ants ate the Britney Spears fanclub, the boa constrictor ate the fire ants, pensive1 hurt her elbow but met a guy who later turned out ta be Maverick usin’ my image inducer (an’ then he BROKE IT) ta pick up chicks, foresthouse danced on the table after drinkin’ all them screwdrivers, CrazyInez was hittin’ on YouTubeDeadpool but found out he’s married an’ got annoyed an’ shot a hole through Alex‘s ear, Tasky likes tabledancers and was followin’ foresthouse around all night, mellzers did a REAL GOOD rendition of “Womanizer,” deadpool96 leered suggestively at pensive1 until Maverick-in-disguise clocked ‘im in the head during Twister, an’ Bob mostly stayed behind th’ couch ’cause he’s a weenie. Oh. An’ it turned out hey_frey isn’t really my mother. Yeah, it was one helluva party!

Hey, ya know what else counts as Twitter stuff that’s *gotta* be recorded? The Legends of Ryan Reynolds, a glorious byproduct of #ryanreynolds / #deadpool week. An’ that reminds me, if ya don’t know already, I’ve declared this week on Twitter ta be “#ryanreynolds / #deadpool week” just ‘CAUSE I CAN. So ev’ry day, everybody tweet somethin’ with #ryanreynolds and #deadpool in it. Don’t care what it is! Just make somethin’ up if ya have to. Or help add ta our list of Completely True and Accurate Facts about Ryan Reynolds, also known as:

Just because I don’t Twitter, I don’t get invited to the party of the month. :casts her eyes upward in resignation: And I gain a pound over the weekend. SO NOT FAIR.
But at least my workout went all right today, though there was a shortage of sharp, pointy objects. 😦

Just because I don’t Twitter, I don’t get invited to the party of the month. :casts her eyes upward in resignation: And I gain a pound over the weekend. SO NOT FAIR.
But at least my workout went all right today, though there was a shortage of sharp, pointy objects. 😦

Just because I don’t Twitter, I don’t get invited to the party of the month. :casts her eyes upward in resignation: And I gain a pound over the weekend. SO NOT FAIR.
But at least my workout went all right today, though there was a shortage of sharp, pointy objects. 😦

Just because I don’t Twitter, I don’t get invited to the party of the month. :casts her eyes upward in resignation: And I gain a pound over the weekend. SO NOT FAIR.
But at least my workout went all right today, though there was a shortage of sharp, pointy objects. 😦