Family shares struggle with breast cancer

Charles and Joanne Donahue of Hatboro, Pa., stand next to their children, Charles III and Jeannine Donahue of Willow Grove, Pa. Jeannine was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer when she was 26-years-old and has had no evidence of the disease for six and a half years.

HATBORO — When Jeannine Donahue returned to her parents’ home after her double mastectomy, all she wanted was to take a bath alone.

Her mother, Joanne, stayed outside the bathroom and was ready with a towel held high to protect her adult daughter’s privacy as much as she could. Within five minutes, her child called to her. She couldn’t rinse herself because she couldn’t lift her arms.

As her mother came to her aid, the Montgomery County woman said, “Cancer strips you raw. It takes everything from you. I am 26 years old and my mother is bathing me.”

Her mother responded, “I was the first one to bathe you so I think it is only right that I am the one doing it now.”

In April 2002, Jeannine Donahue was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer. What she thought was not a big deal turned out to be.

Her mother recalled feeling the BB gun pellet-sized lump. “I was concerned but I didn’t want her to know,” the older Donahue said. “You can’t not be concerned.”

After getting the call that she had cancer at work, Jeannine called her mom, who was walking through the Willow Grove Mall.

She was overcome with disbelief. “You can’t process the fact that your child has cancer,” she said. “It made me sick to my stomach.”

IBC is an aggressive form of cancer and Donahue started chemotherapy quickly.

“If I had waited six months longer to go to the doctor,” the accountant said, “there wouldn’t have been much more they could have done for me.”

Her physician, Dr. Robert Somers of Einstein Healthcare Network, warned her she would lose control of almost everything.

Her dad, Charles Donahue Jr., recalled his daughter having to be driven to medical appointments, sitting in the back seat as her parents drove up front.

“I called the doctor a lot,” he admitted as the physician told him, “You know, there’s HIPPA laws.”

Jeannine Donahue conceded, “We fought a lot over control issues. The only thing I had control over was these doctors.”

“As parents, all of the first 18 years of their lives, we’re in control,” her mother said. “We were trying to help.”

“But,” Charles explained, “we had to sit back. You’re powerless. You just hope and pray that it’s going to work out.”

“You never accept the fact,” her mother said, “that ... you can’t make it go away.”

Jeannine explained watching the impact of her deterioration on her family.

“Not only is this thing causing me great pain, it’s also causing my family great pain,” she said. “There’s this horrible feeling that I’m the one causing this pain.”

Both Donahue and her family members grappled with a myriad of emotions, especially as they watched other friends and relatives die from cancer during her fight.

Joanne Donahue spoke of the immense pain as she lay in her bed across from her daughter’s room as she heard her cry. Once, she knocked and was allowed to enter as she laid beside her and talked. “I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, I was determined to try and get her for a few moments to think about something else,” she said.

In January of this year, Jeannine finished therapy. She went through six rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery, one year of Perceptin and five years of Tamoxifen.

For six and a half years, there has been no evidence of the disease. “It’s ‘no evidence of the disease,’” Jeannine explained. “There’s no remission in inflammatory breast cancer. There’s no ‘You’re cured.’”

And, as she attempts to live a full life from traveling with her cousin to Scotland, Japan and Morocco, she and her family begin to reassemble the pieces of their relationship that were pulverized by her disease.

“It’s harder now,” Charles Donahue said. “We’re starting to have the time looking back. When it’s happening, you don’t have time to look at your emotions.”

“What I remember most was basically going like a robot because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it,” Joanne Donahue said.

Her daughter said, “You think it’d bring you together ....”

“But, sometimes,” her dad said, “it pushes you away.”

“Cancer,” Joanne Donahue said, “changes you in ways you cannot possibly imagine and it is so much more than physical change. The emotional scars never go away.”

“We’re starting to come back,” Charles Donahue smiled softly.

“Somebody’ll ask, ‘How you doing this week?’ Well, we’re not doing too bad this week. We’re moving in the right direction. It was a process. There’s things you can control and there’s things you can’t. You struggle with the things you can’t. I have to deal with my emotions now. That becomes harder, harder than it was before, but she’s sitting here, so it’s worth it.”

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About the Author

Kathleen Carey is the lead business writer for the Daily Times. Reach the author at kcarey@delcotimes.com
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