The real “OC”

My wife and I went to dinner with another couple on Friday night. The meal was terrible, and afterwards we went into the restaurant bar for a nightcap before going home and releasing our babysitters back into captivity. It was our first time venturing into what unbeknownst to us, was a popular “cougar” hangout, and it was pretty entertaining to watch older women in inappropriately tight outfits, and unbelievably orange skin sit there and get hit on guys with dyed hair and “snug” pants (I counted at least 7 “manginas”).

Got me thinking… Who was the original cougar?… or “OC”, as I will refer to it from here on. I have a few suggestions, but you can certainly feel free to post your own in the comment field. I’m thinking these women are all AFTP’s but with a much older and sluttier feel.

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This first one was mentioned to me by a buddy a couple weeks ago, and I have no idea if she is even still alive… Remember that older whore on Three’s Company who lived in the same building, and was always trying to bang Jack?

Her character’s name was Lana, she had a big old sloppy rack and couldn’t give a fuck less if John Ritter’s character was really gay or not. She just wanted to sip the juice.

In retrospect, she was fucking TERRIBLE looking. But back then she had a “naughty-older-woman-thing” going on that was extreeeeemely exciting to an overweight pre-teen.

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The second was Dean Wormer’s wife from Animal House… Who I think was modeled after Ann Bancroft’s character from The Graduate. The way she downed vodka, and then banged Otter is basically the recipe for a textbook Friday night of the modern day cougar.

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The third and final was the older blond cop with the big bombs in Police Academy… What a fucking pig. But clearly she fits the category of OC to a tee.

I think Katie Couric is bangin some LAX stick touting, triathlete, douchebag from some Ivy school, while her husband turns in his grave, it was in the NY Post a few months back with the Headline Katie Cougar…gotta love the NY Post…i’m sure if someone dug around they can find the link to that headline, i’m just too lazy to do it

Catwoman. The one(s) from the Adam West, real people series on TV back in the 70’s. There was always that sexual tension between Batman and Catwoman one he finally caught her in the midst of her Current Criminal Caper. She had to be balling someone as part of the B Plot.

Although she’s not an over 40 year old cougar, she technically likes to sleep with much younger guys, that hot teacher Debra LaFave from florida…never had a teacher that looked like that, let alone fuck me……..

Gotta say and this is weird, but i always had something for the animal house chick, cant say what it is, and the fact that i gave myself many reports, i in fact may have reported to her. MY cougar now is that chick from 8 is enough, had a weird mouth Kristy something i think

what about that chick blanch from golden girls? yea thats right, i used to watch golden girls, what the fuck about it, both my grandmas died before i was born. plus that short old one was pretty funny.

Shannon Tweed in that movie she played the tutor in. J Colins in Dynasty I def shreded myself to on VHS…sad. Cheese pls dont bust my balls about being old. This is a site dominated by guys that are 10yrs older than you. Deal with it.

carmela soprano had a cougar thing going for a while. Tonys nephew had to flee back to the old country, never worked out for her though. I’d say the current Mrs. John Gotti is quite the cougar too. I guess its a rule of thumb if your husband is a jailed for life or dead mobster.

Rothmann’s on Long Island…. rich cougar heaven. Until Blackstone took many of them away. Honu in Huntington always works and Lindsay Lohan even shows up for “Cougar-in-training” lessons from her mom’s friends. She’s on track to be the greatest cougar ever. Hell, she might be the first pre-30 cougar to exist.

Geez, I posted that and saw Rothmann’s pop up in the post before. Since Blackstone and Sagamore are both same owners, we should just call them up and figure out what kind of cougar bait it is they lace the aged beef with.

LANA is ANAL backwards….whata about Dorn’s wife in MAJOR LEAGUE who took down Ricky Vaugh out of spite. … Did that old blond mutt on MASH ever blow Radar ? What about the red head for TAXI-she must have relieved Tony Danza……….actually: the old fuck from WHO’s the BOSS ??? She is the original cougar–b4 TVs were even invented.

Borderline sexual predator, but my favorite Cougar of my early pubescent life… Sylvia Kristel in the Showtime/Skinimax favorite from 1982… Private Lessons. Yeah, the kid was only 15, but she had a great – pre-implant rack – and voluptuous lips, not to mention the sleepy bedroom brown eyes… took many early reports to that one – late night, when the folks were asleep. And who could forget the memorable performances by Howard Hessman (the chauffeur), and Ed Begley, Jr.

You don’t get it. A cougar is not just any older, hot, horny woman like Bo Derek or Nina Hartley. As Forrest Gump would say, and I want you to take an extra half hit of your Ritalin and pay close attention here, “Cougar is as Cougar does.” What that means is, “Cougar” is a behavior, not a demographic. Dean Wormer’s wife, by flirting with Otter in the supermarket produce isle, then bedding him at the toga party after getting gassed elsewhere, is a cougar based on that “predatory” behavior. Heather Locklear? No way, unless she bangs that Spencer Pratt tool. Just as a guy that wakes up spooning another guy is gay, a woman who identifies, hunts down, and fucks a younger, less wealthy, naÃ¯ve guy then takes him to brunch followed by shopping for $500 jeans is a cougar. See Demi, Aniston, Liz Taylor, Halle Berry, Madonna (with that Puerto Rican guy), and J-Lo (TAR Affleck).

Don’t forget about a model coug. Karen Caye from My Tutor in 1983. She takes down the kid she teaches french to. Erin Gray in Buck Rodgers was also mighty fine. Rick Schroeder got a look se later for sure.