Hey guys!Went over to my parents last night and my mom, dad, and I went to a town festival. My dad parked far away, ya know gotta get that walking on! He didn't even wear a pad! I was afraid he was gonna spring a leak but he says he hasn't leaked except maybe a couple drops when the catheder was removed on thursday. He seems a little too brave for me (I had pantiliners in my purse if need be!) He explained his prostate cancer to me again. He said the dr told him he got all the cancer but there could still be miscroscopic "fingers" left that could spread eventually. The radiation is supposed to knock that out so we don't take any chances. This sounds reassuring, but even after all that he still seemed doubtful. He said that he didn't expect a cure. Of course how could you when the dr said it was only in his prostate but after surgery found that not to be the case. He had his heart set on being done with this. It's funny how men think they never need to go to the dr. He happened to go in for something else one day and my mom works in the lab at the drs office. She pretty much decided to test his PSA all on her own. To me, she just saved my dad's life, or certainly prolonged it. I have told him about you guys. I think he is not at the stage where he wants to talk about it with others just yet. Maybe overtime. I know he googles stuff on the computer and that gives him doubts. Furthermore, I will stop logging on here if you guys don't stop making me cry every time I get on!! LOL. Just kidding, they are good tears from your encouraging words. I am truly blessed.

Your dad is going great thus far on the incontinence part. Yeah that was brave for him to go to a fair this soon without any protection, but at least you were clever enough to have something in your purse, just in case.

Yes, PSA testing has saved a lot lives, no doubt about it. Over time, had your father not been tested, his cancer would have continued to grow and spread, and it may have been without any chance of a cure at some point. So that was a wise decision.

Kelli, sounds like you, your dad and your mom are on the right track. The doctor's explanation of what the surgical report showed may be right on target, and radiation should take care of those "fingers." My husband is also preparing for radiation treatment - in his case salvage since it's being done more than 6 months after surgery. Your dad's treatment is likely considered adjuvant since it's happening shortly after surgery. Either way, radiation has proven to be a very effective treatment for all types of cancer, and I'm sure your dad will come through this just fine.

I know you are worried about him, and can empathize. It's hard to watch someone you love face a critical illness. The diagnosis sets your world spinning - the ground under your feet is no longer as solid as it once was. You are faced with several decisions and agonize over which is the "right" one. Surgery always has its risks, and you agonize over that. Will he come through it OK? Will he be in pain after wards? What will the incontinence be like, and how will he react to it? You get through the surgery, and breath a sigh of relief because it's over. Then, the ground beneath your feet is shaken again when you hear that it may not be over yet. Truly, it is an agonizing time. Many on this board have been through similar scenarios and all have come through it both physically and emotionally. You, your dad and your mom will as well.

Come back any time, even if it's just to chat. Come back when you feel down or sad or scared - we'll be here.

"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

Your dad is understandably focused on the known knowns, he has a bit of cancer leak from the prostate, and this leads to worries about the known unknowns --- what will be the result of radiation on his cancer and on his body? At some point, having discoved (as we all have) that his invincible body has failed him (cancer is something other people get) he'll start to worry about the unknown unkowns --- what else might be wrong with him, your mom, others he loves. If this can happen to me ..... ????

There are many levels of fear to deal with. And you will be dealing with the same sort of fears. These are not foolish, silly fears. Or fears born of weakness. They are the sensible, prudent fears that lead us to take PCa seriously and make good decisions. Fear is generally not a sustainable thing, at least not at the top level. We "fight or flight" and we learn to deal with fear. We become accustomed to it and learn to put it in a place and give space in our lives for living again.

You entitle your post: Feeling better. You're working through the process, as all of us are, and as your dad is. When he says he's not expecting a cure, what he's saying is, "My body has let me down twice. First cancer, then it wasn't nice and simple. I'm not going to dare hope for the best and suffer the pain of being let down for a thrid time." However, he, like all of us is hoping for a cure and chances are five years from now as he gets yet another good PSA report, he'll be thinking differently.

My mother is a 50 year plus survivor of breast cancer. After her mastectomy she said she worried about recurrence every two hours the first year, and it wasn't until around year five that she could go a whole day without thinking it might be back.

At some point he'll reach the stage he'll be willing to talk about his cancer with others, but by then, it may be he'll not need to talk about it. Dealing with it himself, having you here, may be the best way for him to come to grips with this beast. We all deal differently.

Please do keep visiting. I promise not to make you cry. Or even sniffle.