Tuesday, 21 October 2014

This was
intended to be another post related to Queer Romance Month, but I’ve gone kind
of way off topic on this one. It’s turned out not to be so much about being
queer as it’s about being “other”. I've mentally debated about whether or not to post it for over a week now, but here it is anyway...

There are a
lot of different kinds of people who society treats as “other”. I fall into a
couple of those groups.

I’ve
mentioned on this blog before, that I have a few health issues. While my M.E.
has never seen my completely confined to a wheelchair, there have been a lot of
times when I’ve needed to use one when I leave the house.

As anyone
who’s ever used a wheelchair knows, people treat you differently once you’re in
a chair. You become invisible enough for people to walk into, or for them to accidentally
hit you in the head with their hand bag when they turn around. But at the same
time, you become someone other people want to keep their distance from—as if
there is some suspicion that you might be contagious. Physical contact stops.
People who would normally pause to chat suddenly cross the road to avoid you.

Several
years ago, my parents and I went to see a show called La Cage Aux Folles. For
those who don’t know it—it’s a fantastic musical. One of the main characters is Alvin
who performs as a drag artist called Zaza. A lot of the show takes place in a
night club and a fair number of the cast are drag performers in big elaborate
costumes.

I went in my
wheelchair. In this particular theatre, the wheelchair spaces were at the end
of the fourth row from the stage.

In one part
of this particular version of the show, the actors came down from the stage and
moved along the end isles, shaking hands with the people sitting in the end
seats.

I don’t know
if the actors were gay or straight, if they identified in any way as queer, or
if they’d ever done drag apart from in that particular show. What I do know is
that, even when they saw the wheelchair, every one of those performers shook my
hand—no hesitation.

I remember
thinking—maybe these performers with their elaborate costumes and their huge drag
queen wigs—maybe they know what it’s like for people to across the road to
avoid them too. Maybe they get how much that hurts. Maybe that’s why they don’t
do it to other people.

We were
coming at it from very different places, but those performers and I were both
“other” and that in itself can be a way to connect with people.

Now, I’m not
saying that wheelchairs = queerness. Or that any minority who is seen as “other”
should identify as queer.

But, I do
think, in a good version of the world, people who are queer and people who are
“other” in other ways should be on the same side.

Sometimes it
does happen like that.

In America,
you see mixed-race heterosexual couples marching in favour of same sex marriage
because 60 years ago, their marriage would have been illegal too.

When same
sex marriage was being debated in the UK, a straight Jewish man was interviewed
on TV and he said he was in favour of it, because Jewish people and people in same sex relationships have both been discriminated against for far too long - and often by the same people.

I’ve found
BDSM clubs are far more likely to be aware of the need for disabled access than
vanilla venues are.

But
sometimes the world gets screwed up and things go the other way.

You get
signs like “don’t equate my skin with your sin”.

You get
people who fight for women's rights who will only accept the existence of cis gendered women.

You get
dating apps where a lot of gay men look for “straight acting” dates — where “no
blacks, no Asians” is a common statement. So are comments like “no fats, no
femmes” or “no HIV+”.

Go on a
dating app for women who like women and you’ll see a lot of lesbians stating
“bi women, don’t bother”.

In London
Pride this year, bi people marching in the parade were heckled—by gay and
lesbian people marching in the same parade.

Sometimes people
are so focused on being angry that the world treats them as if they are “other”,
they don’t realise that they’re doing exactly the same thing to other groups of
people.

But those
times when you connect—there’s so much power in that, so much humanity in that. If we can find a way to
focus our energy on that, just think what the world would be like.

Imagine a
world where no one ever crossed the road to avoid anyone just because they were
different. It would be a nice world, wouldn’t it?

I think, in
its own way Queer Romance Month is calling for that kind of world. I'm happy to be on the same side of the street as everyone involved in it.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

(The
thoughts I’m trying to express in this blog are kind of still in development.
Apologies in advance for anything that sounds wonky as a result.)

This month
is Queer Romance Month.

Queer has
always felt like an awkward word to me. When someone first mentioned the event
to me, I’ll admit that my first thought was that I wished that the queer population
had picked a different name to unite under. I’m not talking about the people
who organised this particular event here (who, by the way, have turned out to
be some of the loveliest people I’ve met in a long time). I mean decades ago.
I’ve felt this way about the word for a long time.

Why call
ourselves queer – a word that means odd and different?

You see, I’m
not odd and I’m not different. Well, okay, I might be both things but neither
has anything to do with me being bisexual. That’s always felt like the most
natural thing in the world to me.

I get the
theory of reclaiming words, but this particular word isn’t one that’s ever been
used against me as an individual. I’m not sure it’s my place to reclaim it.

But, since,
the generally accepted definition of queer encompasses everyone who isn’t heterosexual
or cisgender, I also accept that I’m part of it. When people talk about queer
people, they’re talking about people like me.

(As a side
note, there are people like Julie Bindel (feminist lesbian journalist/activist)
who reckon that queer actually refers to anyone who likes kinky sex. This
definition amuses the hell out of me because I’m sure she meant it as an
insult, but I find it completely impossible to see kinky as a bad thing. I’m
very happy to be part of that group too!)

Anyway, I
signed up to write a blog post for Queer Romance Month. I’ve done a couple of theme
of the month/week/whatever events before. They generally follow a familiar
pattern and the posts usually revolve around each author’s latest release.

This time my
post ended up being a more personal post than I intended and focusing on my
memory of a particular event from a few years ago. I have one of the world’s
worst memories. If something happened more than twenty minutes ago, the chances
are I won’t remember exactly who said what, where and when. But the emotions in
my post – they are as true and as accurate as anything can be.

That’s what
seems to be marking this event out as different to the ones I’ve taken part in
previously. A lot of people are posting from the heart. Personal stories are
being told and for me this event had become about something more important than
selling books. (And trust me, when a writer says something is more important
than books things are getting serious!)

I said at
the start that of this post that I’m not fond of the word queer. There’s always
been an exception to that. I’ve always thought it works well when people are
expressing anger with the world.

There’s a
T-shirt that says: “Not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you!” There were banners
that were once popular at pride rallies which said: “We’re here, we’re queer,
get used to it.” Those work for me.

I think this
is because queer doesn’t feel like a statement of fact, like gay, lesbian,
bisexual or transgender. It’s more like a statement of pride and an
unwillingness to let society break you when they force you into a mould.

As I’ve read
more posts in and about the Queer Romance event, my thoughts on the word have
changed and expanded. It still works as a statement of resistance, but it’s become
a real statement of community for me too.

Maybe it is
an awkward word, but it’s awkward like a hug between people who don’t know each
other that well, but who still feel the need to embrace each other and hold on
tight.

As a
bisexual woman, I don’t often feel entirely welcome in the LGBT community, or
in the M/M romance community if I’m honest. But the queer community, maybe
that’s different. It feels like a community that says – if the world thinks
you’re weird, that’s okay. We’re weird too. Come and be weird with us. We can
be weird together.

There’s
power in that. There’s a wonderful sense of acceptance in that. And there’s
love in that.

The tag line
for Queer Romance Month is “Love is Love”. I think the people involved in this
event are all doing it right.

Please do click
on the logo below and check out all the posts on the Queer Romance Month
website.

If you're a writer it's also worth noting that Amber Quill is now open to submissions. I've written 17 stories for them and found them really lovely to work with.

At the same time, we're celebrating Riptide's 3rd Anniversary!

As one of the first three novellas published in 2013 Once a Brat is going to be on sale for $1.49 during October. Also, O Come All Ye Kinky - a holiday anthology which includes His Very Last Chance is part of a permanent price drop to $5.99.

For writers, Riptide are also now open to submissions. I've only written 2 stories for them but that was pure bad timing on my part - I started working with them just before my health got worse. They're great to work with.

Last but not least, during October I'm also going to be the Author of the Month at Boy Meet Boy Reviews. They'll be reviewing some of my books, hosting a giveaway as well as interviewing me later on in the month. There's also something to do with unicorns!

*************

Moving on to writing and publishing news...

I'm still working away on Axel's Pup. I'm part way through the second draft and love these guys more than ever. Release date is still up in the air. I don't want to rush the last few laps and ruin it, so I'm taking whatever time it needs to take.

However, in between finishing the first draft of Axel's Pup and starting the second draft, I did throw myself into a couple of quick little projects.

There will be two new short stories appearing in November.

One is a free short story - a follow up to Worth a Shot. It catches up with Tony and Donovan a little while after the end of Shot. That one will appear on Amber Kell's blog on November 2nd as part of her birthday bash. It was really nice to reconnect with these guys and see how they were getting on.

The second project is scheduled to be released by Resplendence Publishing on November 12th as part of their gems line. It's a M/M, BDSM, office romance called Hard at Work.

The cover will be coming soon, but I have a working blurb for it now:

Jake likes to think he’s a nice guy. He’s a kind and considerate boyfriend. He’s a firm but fair dom. He doesn’t let himself get stressed out without good cause.
But every guy has his breaking point.

Jake’s been
hiding an inappropriate erection from his boss for the last three hours. Enough is
enough. It’s all Jake’s boyfriend, Danny’s, fault. Danny better have a good
explanation, because Jake wants to hear it—right now!

**********************

On to other news...

A couple of people have asked about Duck! and Magpie. Once I finish Axel's Pup, I'll be working on follow up novellas to each Avian book, and I'll be releasing the new editions alongside them next year. I didn't intend for them to be out of print and unavailable for as long as they have. I'm really greateful for everyone's patience.

On a related note - pirating. If you see Duck! for sale anywhere and it's labelled as a tranlated or an illistrated version of it, it's an illegal, pirated book. I've never authorised translations or illistrated copies of this title, either in ebook or print book form. If you do see anything like this, please don't buy it.

***********************

And finally, for those who are following the ongoing health saga. Specialists have been seen. I don't have a tumour where they thought I might have a tumour, so that's something. (Although, to be honest, that diagnosis would have likely come with better treatment options than my current diagnois of severe ME and fibromyalgia, so a big part of me was hoping they'd find something!)

Also, after about 16 months of refusing to take any medication (because the cocktail I was on before inspired some really horiffic side effects) I finally caved and I'm back on some strong painkillers. I'm less fogged up with pain, thinking more clearly and on some days I actually resemble a functional human being! Hopefully this will mean writing will happen more quickly now :)