Charlie Fiske. a Peace Corps volunteer with long ties to the Brockton area, writes from Malawi.

Different now in Malawi

About this blog

By Charlie Fiske

Charlie Fiske, a long-time Bridgewater resident, will spend 26 months in the African country of Malawi as a public health advisor in an HIV/AIDS program. Malawi has a life expectancy of 52 years old and 11 percent of the country has HIV/AIDS
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Charlie Fiske, a long-time Bridgewater resident, will spend 26 months in the African country of Malawi as a public health advisor in an HIV/AIDS program. Malawi has a life expectancy of 52 years old and 11 percent of the country has HIV/AIDS according to the CIA Factbook. Fiske, who now lives in Arlington, is a 66-year-old lobbyist with two children, ages 31 and 30. The average age of a Peace Corps volunteer is 28 with seven percent of volunteers older than 50.

In March 2012 our Peace Corps group began a journey that has changed us in so many way as we serve the needs of the people of Malawi.. (Charlie Fiske)

We came to Malawi with dreams that we could contribute to a country that many of us knew little about.

There were reports of high numbers of HIV cases as well as economic conditions that placed Malawi among the poorest countries in the world.

Our hopes and expectations overshadowed the fears and uncertainties associated with sailing in uncharted waters.

After a year the greatest changes are not to Malawi but to ourselves. We can survive in a third world country and suffer the tortures of public transportations and still feel that the people of Malawi are the best. Where in the world can a person engage in full conversations with total strangers as if knowing them for years?

By this time most of us have adapted to the demands of living in a strange land and hardly notice what were once thought to be oddities. No longer is there a fear of getting lost and we are more than comfortable walking into any market and haggling with any vendor for the best price.

The startling realization without exception is that we have changed much more than anything we will ever be able to do for Malawi’s fifteen million people. That change comes with a price. There are times of frustration, annoyances and aloneness. When these happen we wonder if anything we do will make the slightest difference.

Each day and each moment offers an adventure and a new set of challenges. Its strange looking at pictures of our group taken a year ago and now seeing the difference. The expression “no pain - no gain” works well in Malawi. Again the greatest realization is how we’ve changed and live with what we discover about ourselves.

A month ago I’d asked the 34 members of my group if they could give me a short narrative about their experiences. The latest one is not what I had expected yet it reflects the decisions and choices that many of us face in Malawi.

I was the third volunteer assigned to a location in Malawi to do community based natural resource management, in short environment facilitation. My professional background is in sports management and I felt misplaced. I have met others who have felt the same and greater part of my service was spent searching for a lost connection.

After much fruitless searching, I decided to risk my service. I followed my passion to integrate environmental practices and natural medicine to teach young athletes about the synergistic effects of sports, nutrition and wellness.

Ordinarily it would seem that after a four year period with two previous volunteers, at least one of the many environment projects started would have been sustained by the community. During my first seven months in this location I realized the community had abandon all previous improvement projects and they showed no interest in starting a new project with yet another outsider.

The challenge was upsetting because I was continually faced with the deep-rooted concept/phrase "give me money'. I was just perceived as any other white man. I felt like a mule being strung along by an ungrateful community where I was placed. It felt as though our relationship was focused on making me feel guilty of their poverty, as a method of manipulating me in an attempt to provide them more things. I did not want to be just another person giving something away for nothing, without even the illusion of a community contribution.

I put in the effort to identify and assess somewhere that I could be of use. I traveled 60 kilometers to my district center where I was connected and was invited to work with an amateur professional soccer club in sports administration and technical development. I began with targeted educational programming for the coach, the team as well the executive committee of the club.

The soccer club covered all expenses to host me and I received no financial benefit. I was thrilled that I was able to help people who really cared and both needed/ wanted the education and training. I knew that this wouldn’t be accepted nor permitted by my Peace Corps directors. After eight months of developing this team someone from my original village alerted the Peace Corps.

I received an urgent message to show up for a mandatory meeting. The atmosphere was hesitant and I sensed I was viewed as someone too inexperienced to know the trouble I had brought upon myself. Before the meeting began I was treated in a cordial manner but this was followed by the comment, "you understand you deliberately broke policy, which calls for immediate separation."

From the beginning, I was aware of the possible consequences and risks of my actions. I had read the handbook. It was hard for me to understand how others with little understanding of my situation could feel that I was not fulfilling my obligation to serve Malawi.

I was able to establish a youth network and outreach to 400 youth in less than three months, something that was virtually not possible before. In my defense at the meeting I replied that I had full awareness of my actions and I defended the results of my work which I felt outweighed the risks involved. At that moment I realized I was 100% willing to risk my service in Malawi to challenge an inadequate accusation that I was miss performing my obligations. My motivation and work was conscientious.

My intention has always been to serve to the best interests of those where I was placed. I would have rather been administratively separated than suffer being used by those where I was originally placed. I remember having flash backs to the times my father would attempt to guilt me into an admission of my sins for another spanking.

For a volunteer, without prior authorization, to move him/herself from a placement location calls for immediate administrative separation. However, a critical piece of information was missing. If the effort was to shame me it didn't work.

A Peace Corps volunteer can be granted authorization to move locations because of security or work related issues. After observing other volunteers similar efforts, I felt that my movement to another location would cause more paperwork for everyone and there was little chances of it happening. It took courage, internal fortitude and dedication to Malawi to make the choice to move myself.

My direct supervisor knew of my aware about and I felt that’s all that mattered at the time. My reasoning is this – a good volunteer is one who works not only to help others grow but grow themselves. In the end we are all human, thriving for the natural instincts of self enlightenment.

Unless we have a sense that we are growing ourselves, it is impossible to give everything of ourselves for the betterment of others. It was because of this reality that I was lead away from a situation where I felt simply used. I was criticized; yet felt that others were unaware of all the facts.

Personally, I felt disrespected as a professional and discriminated for my young age to pursue these creative opportunities. I was seen only as a mere volunteer unqualified to pursue what I believed could reach a large audience, especially in Malawi. It is hard to be questioned when I followed my beliefs and had no ulterior motives.

Through the process I felt blocked by my director who could not grasp the creative vision and imaginative ideals of a young versatile generation. This might sound like ranting seeing that I was refused what I wanted but it was more than that.

In reality I was pursuing sports using the tools I was familiar with to bring positive change to an enthusiastic group of young people. I used my skills and experience to make this work for the last eight months and results were showing.

I never want to feel that I am just another stats collector for the greater good of securing the continuation of government money. It has to be more than "Plant trees and shut up."

I don’t want to be viewed as a rebel who only questions authority but simply as a volunteer who is committed fully to do anything to protect the essence of the oath we took as volunteers during our swearing in ceremony in May of 2012.

On July 24, 2013, 15 months into service, the emotional rollercoaster ended. I followed my passions and decided to resign from service in Malawi by early terminating from my post to continue searching for where this one life will lead me next.

(Stefan is stationed at Kapiri in the Mchinji District. He is from Colorado Springs, CO)

Each person during their time in Malawi faces many choices that are both personal and professional. Volunteers are placed alone. There can be up to no more than three in a single location.

After two years of service an evaluation with input from the sponsoring location and the volunteer helps determine the need for a replacement. The aim is to match an individual’s qualifications/skills with the work place so that the community’s needs are met.

This is an ongoing process with the hope of maximizing all available resources. The Peace Corps this year celebrates being here fifty years. The ongoing goal it to best service the needs of the people of Malawi.

Our group shares a bond because of this experience. We also understand that each of us must follow a path to achieve the goals and expectations we have set.