Sunday, August 21, 2011

bb camera + photo effects app
will be my bbm display picture for a while

I found another one this morning! So self-fulfilling. Since I spotted this one while alone and not talking, the while-talking-with-mother-theory is out the window. This invader is my favorite so far. Just love the colors, size, and location - on the base of a postbox. And this guy's very lucky to have survived too, considering the drastic renovations going on around that area and the fact that several invaders in Bangkok have been eliminated already. Real tragedy.

2012 Update: This invader has been wiped out by human activities. I couldn't stop it. I take back what I said, this is a real tragedy.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Today I realized that I am an American boy. I guess this has come as quite a shock to me, but what is more unbelievable is that it has taken me three months of attending to Chula to realize this. Now you're probably wondering how I came to this conclusion about my identity. Well, I will illustrate the discernment process in reverse... This afternoon, during Intro to Communications class, I found myself staring at the following note I had jotted from the lecture:

Collective Society vs. Independent Society

Asian Western

feminine masculine

I suddenly felt embarrassed of how I have interacted with people this whole time. It was shamefully clear (hopefully only to me) which category I fall under. As an only-child, I am extremely insensitive to the feeling of loneliness, which means that doing things solo is nothing but normal to me. Secondly, as I have mentioned before, I grew up within the confines of an international bubble in Bangkok. This upbringing is transparently reflected through my speech, dress, and manner. And finally, I walk like a man. Not even kidding. You can ask the guys in my martial arts class or my annoyed mother. (But really, on that last point, I am such a guy. I have always been naturally drawn to masculine activities. Take my passion for martial arts and drums, for example, and my disdain for ballet and clickflicks.)

As Professor James went on with the lesson, surveying the class about their usual behaviors, the mindfuck was becoming to much for me to take. I even felt the need to lie low on response.

"Do you go watch movies by yourself?" Yea... is that abnormal?

"Who pays for the ticket (movie)?" Me.

"Do you go shopping alone?" Yea.

"Women tend to be more empathetic in their responsiveness..." This made me think about what happened at the beginning of class. How many of my girlfriends in the backrows had beckoned me to abandon my first-choice seat - alone in frontrow - to sit with them. They looked at me with such pity, like "she's all up there alone." One of them even said something along that line out loud. I did not get their pity. As I did not get how strange, maybe even rude, I must have seemed declining on a bathroom excursion with them when I didn't need to "go". Note-to-self: when one girl wants to go to the bathroom, they all do. Note-to-self. Again, collective society. There are so many more evidences that I'm not sure I want to share, but I think it's clear enough already that I am not a Asian girl. So what am I going to do with this information? I don't know yet. I still see nothing wrong with the type of person I am, so I don't plan on conforming... Maybe I'll go study anthropology.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

So I'm a complete newbie in my university's debate society and I don't quite have all the mechanics of debating down yet. For example, I didn't know we should only look at the 'chair' (the chairperson) when we're up speaking. I thought it was a good thing that I was scanning the entire audience. WRONG... "Mika, your eyes tend to wander. You need to look at the chair," says my pro debater friend. So tonight at the debate meet, I didn't want to forget this lesson and wrote it in BOLD, CAPITAL letters on my hand. It did help! It also attracted the curiosity of an American stranger on the BTS! Wonder how he interpreted the phrase though.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

40. Summertime - "You can run away with me, anytime you want." It's a new, happier sound from My Chemical Romance, but I actually fall for it.

39. She Moves In Her Own Way - Jam packed with Britishboyness! Imagine if I was around for Beatlemania. I would have died.

38. The Crisis- No words, but so emotional. No matter where I am, when this song comes on my iPod, I get so into it and feel like I'm in the emotional scene of some movie. Once I was in the skytrain and this song came on, and in my mind I pretended that I was finally leaving a place that had been suppressing me all my life to become free and independent... Wow, drama queen. I was probably just on the way to a friend's house. This song, by the way, is in the soundtracks of The Legend of 1900 and Seven Pounds, and Legend is my all-time favorite movie.

37. Jaws Theme Swimming- "And my body still aches" = favorite line.

36. I Wanna - Guilty pleasure! I'm not even going to explain. If you're really curious, go listen to it. You'll get it.

35. Decoy- Reminds me of my friend, Joanna. A lot of Paramore songs make me think of her, but this one especially because the first time I heard it was from her singing it.

34. My Heart- My favorite Paramore song. I always used to include this song on playlists I made for people. I'm a sucker for any mentions about the heart. My favorite Japanese word is 'heart' - kokoro. Plus, the screamo in the bridge is another guilty pleasure.

33. Empty With You (Acoustic Version)- The rawness works way better for the lyrics. Burt's voice - crystal.

32. 1901 - SO MUCH FUN. But apparently what I've been singing as "falling, falling, falling, falling," is actually "folded, folded, folded, folded." Whatever. Still delicious. (But really, doesn't it sound like 'falling'?)