There was a period of time in America where Paris Hilton garnered attention and headlines everywhere she went, thanks to the twin assault of a hit reality show (‘The Simple Life”) and getting stuffed in nightvision. But we’ve moved on as a nation since then, and “The World According to Paris,” Hilton’s new reality show, debuted to awful numbers (even for Oxygen) — something for which Paris blames the network.

“Paris is furious that the show didn’t premiere at the time it was supposed to,” an insider tells me when speaking about ‘The World According to Paris.’ “She worked her tail off doing promotion and publicity for the show and then because of a technical mistake, the show aired at a completely different time in a lot of markets.”

The show aired last Wednesday at 10 p.m. like it was supposed to. Also, in Paris’s world, “working your tail off” means “getting butt-hurt and quitting.”

Her busy week of promotion included a rough interview on ‘The View,’ where Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg grilled the socialite on the frivolity of her show. She reportedly flipped out backstage and got into a shouting match with a producer. In short, it was a disaster and she canceled events because of it.

What an awesome person; I’m so glad she has her own television show. Ordinarily, I’d consider this story too frivolous and pointless to cover — and that’s saying something, since I led with video of a dog biting balloons today — but I saw this GIF interpretation of what happens on Paris’s show, and I wanted to share it:

Seems like it would be pretty good. Although I don’t think T. Rex‘s tiny forelegs were evolved enough to wield dildos.

Don’t be so hard on the dog biting ballons post. I’ve already emailed it to three people as breaking news.

06.07.11 at 2:31 pm

Burnsy

At least she recently made Barbara Walters look credible again.

06.07.11 at 2:39 pm

Bandito

Poor TRex, short arms AND a nevernude. If the other dinosaurs hadn’t been so coldblooded, maybe they wouldn’t have teased him and made him so cranky.

06.07.11 at 2:50 pm

Can't Use My Real Name Anymore

“But we’ve moved on as a nation since then,…”

To the Kardashians….USA! USA! USA!

06.07.11 at 2:57 pm

Patty Boots

Anderson Cooper went on a delightfully snarky rant about how awful she is last night. It included footage or her whining about her community service because she got caught with cocaine.

In short, fuck Paris Hilton.

06.07.11 at 2:58 pm

Upstate Underdog

Dildo T. Rex don’t care.

06.07.11 at 3:33 pm

Taco_Jones

Paris Hilton is mad dumb, yo

06.07.11 at 5:05 pm

Jack Burton

There’s no possibility that the show just sucks and nobody freaking gives a damn, is there? I’m just saying. That could be why ratings are low. Then again, Paris’ fans WOULD get thrown by something as simple as the time of day.

06.07.11 at 11:42 pm

Moose (Sword of Damocles)

Casting idea: same thing as Survivor Man, except this would be Dead in Ten Minutes Woman.