Your Past Does Not Have To Determine Your Future

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Steps To Recovery

[1] Admit the abuse happened.

So many adult victims of abuse live in denial but, denying the abuse doesn’t make the pain go away. By denying, the victim doesn’t have to deal with the disorders of their life and they don’t have to deal with the abuser. Denial is not an easy way out, it just prolongs the pain and agony.

[2] Make the decision to deal with it.

The victim is the only one who can make this decision. No one can make it for him/her. This is a most important step in recovery. It is not enough to admit the abuse, you must be willing to deal with it. You have to make the decision to deal with your past, present and future. You have to look back and reflect on your past and walk through your pain and your losses. You can as a victim deal with childhood losses like broken trust relationships, fear, low self esteem and perhaps growing up without a real dad as I did. With the right help and support you can deal with your losses and face the future with hope.

[3] The victim must make the decision to deal with the present.

How has my abusive past affected me? What disorders do I see in my life as a result of my abusive past? This is where the child abuse victim must be brutally honest with themselves. This would be the time to involve a counselor A friend or get involved with a support group dealing with victims. The victim must look backward, inward and I would suggest upward to God as I did. I believe that recovery takes God, time and people, all of which are available for you.

[4] Recovery takes God, time and people.

Recovery is a process and for me it was my personal encounter with Jesus Christ that started me on the road to recovery. It took time, years of working through my pain anger and self-pity. God’s Word, the Bible and people like my wife Bev. My daughters Lisa and Laury, my first Pastor, Jack Ozard and many friends and colleagues have all contributed to my healing.

[5] Find a Confidant.

Talk to someone, take the risk and find someone you can share your pain with. A counsellor, teacher, a clergyman or a friend. Talking about your abusive past is an important step in your recovery.

[6] Resolve in your heart.

That you are going to deal with the problems that arise as you reflect on your hurtful past.

[7] Take some action.

Don’t sit and stew and feel sorry for yourself. Find something worthwhile to throw yourself into in your community. You can join a church and help children and young people or there are other ways to make yourself useful to your community. You can’t just sit and wait for your recovery to happen. Take the risk, get involved with people and watch how good it feels to help others.

[8] Let it go.

Eventually, you must say goodbye to your anger, losses, self-pity, resentment and rejections. I am no longer the child of woe or sorrow, I am a survivor who, with God’s help has said goodbye to my abusive past.

[9] Learn all you can.

Learn all you can about the subject of child abuse and the experiences of survivors and the recovery process. You too can be part of the solution for victims of abuse. I thank God for the privilege of being able to take the message of hope to victims all over the world and to give them a message of encouragement . Your past does not have to determine your future! Read my story and see for yourself how Jesus Christ changed my life and how He lead me into recovery and the good news is He can do the same for you! If you would like to know more on how to start your recovery contact Maury.