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Topic: Cute or Annoying? UPDATES pg 3,4 (Read 18112 times)

I think he read some dating advice about making sure to follow up the next day and has taken too far. I think it's more a case of social akwardness. If social akwardness makes men unattractive to you, then I wouldn't go on the 2nd date.

If your ok with a little social ineptness in your dates, then I'd find it an annoyness I could end by saying, "hey, I'm not much of a texter so don't get annoyed when I don't respond."

Text #1 was a double entandre that the OP ignored/didn't catch.He feels like a clod and is now attempting to cover up the foot-in-mouth of text #1 by burying it in a wall of mundane stuff.

My thought, as well. I vote 'annoying'. And I'd probably cancel the second date. Based on not being truthful with his pictures, I'd wonder what else he was lying about and probably wouldn't have agreed to a second date in the first place.

Logged

After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.

I think it really comes down to communication styles. Some people text and call all the time, some people don't. I'm a don't. Even as a kid I thought it was downright weird my friends who would call their parent every afternoon (while the parent was at work) - I never, ever called my parents because I was instructed to only ever call if there was an emergency and, well, there never was one. An old friend of mine has been married for 13 years - since before she was married and still to this day she calls her DH every evening on his break to chat. I have never once called a boyfriend or my current fiance at work. Never. I have a few friends who text all the time, random updates, saying hi, whole conversations, etc. I only text with actual information.

It certainly can work to have two different communication styles in a relationship - you just find a middle ground. But it sounds like you aren't to keen to work too hard to get there. And honestly for me, I don't care if a guy is older, or heavy and quite frankly I prefer bald guys to a full head of hair guy... but the dishonesty of misrepresenting himself on the dating site would be such a huge turnoff to me, I doubt I'd want to work very hard to compromise on communication style either.

Meh, I vote for "cute" but it would be cuter if you'd met more than once. He's obviously trying to strike up a conversation, find out how you feel about fruit or what your favorite TV shows are, so he has something to talk about on the second date that he knows is a slam dunk into your good graces.

I agree with previous posters. Texts are cute if you are into the person- annoying if you are not.

Assuming that you are not feeling a no, but you are not feeling a yes either- that you are giving a second date with an open mind, and not out of pity, but that you are not crazy for the other person either, then the texts per se are neutral. Why the amount may indicate a bit of social awkwardness, they have not gotten into stalker territory yet. If he keeps sending more, or asking you where are you and to reply, then yes, then that would be annoying at best.

I think this is a signal that you're not really interested in keeping up with this guy.

It honestly doesn't matter what your friends or net-friends think of his behavior (though I'd throw my hat in the "over the top after just one date" ring). What matters is how it makes you feel, and in this case it sounds like you're uninterested in both the content and style of his communication.

The thing that strikes me about his texts is that they're more like tweets or memos than conversation starters. I wouldn't know what to say to them!

I'd find it very annoying and weird. I don't keep in touch with my husband and kids that much! And why would he think you'd be interested in his trip to the grocery store? It brings to mind those people who put their every waking thought on Facebook. Not my thing. I'd be reconsidering the second date.

I'd find it annoying because it's so impersonal, he could easily be sending the same message to other women as far as the content goes.

What would be the problem with that? They had one date!

Not a problem in a commitment to the non-relationship sense but also not romantic because it's so generic. It's like a guy giving every woman red roses on first date, it sort of looks romantic but lacks any real emotion. But I may just have strange ideas about what's romantic.

I'd be irritated too. It sounds like he's treating his texts like some people use Facebook.

This, exactly. All the things he sent you sounded very like "I have to update my status all the time even though there's nothing interesting to say." I think it's a communication style, as PPs have said, and it's personally not one I enjoy.

If I was interested in him otherwise, I'd date him again and try to work with him to adjust this. If not, though, it's an added incentive to feel like you're right in saying "buh-bye."