I was just pondering this the other day. Politicians who run for government jobs on the platform of providing less government is kinda like saying, “Hire me! I’m not gonna do my job!” Is that a bad thing? Well, yeah of course. It’s awful. I do it all the time (I just don’t care that it’s bad), but I don’t tell the boss that I’m gonna do less.

Anyway, I think democracy fails when we only have douche bags to choose from… which is quite often in my opinion.

When the Supreme Court removed the limits of Corporate and Labor donations to political campaigns this year… hmmm… not sure how to specifically express myself here… so I’ll just vaguely state IT’S MUTHA FUCKIN STOOPID!!! The only positive thing I can extract from this is that the government is at least being transparently honest by admitting our country is controlled by big businesses. Maybe we’ll at least know which corporations have which politicians in their pocket.

That being said…

IF ANY POLITICIAN WHO HAPPENS TO BE READING THIS… I am ready and absolutely willing to sell some adverting space in and around my webcomic site! Hell… for $5K, I’ll make one of the comic characters say they endorse you within the comic itself! I don’t care what party or your views are… you’re talking to a guy who ran his hands through dog shit for $5. If your campaign is endorsed by a giant corporate conglomerate, even better! For $10K my character will use whatever product that company sells while he/she endorses you! Soda, condoms, prescription drugs, weapons grade uranium… you name it, I can figure a story where my characters will interact with it. $20K I’ll draw you directly in the comic. SHieEeT… you don’t even have to run for office! Anyone gives me $20K gets drawn in here!

I do like the idea of food co-ops… mostly because I like cheap free stuff… and most of the food being ‘organic’ doesn’t hurt either… but I also like that there are government standards for selling food because there really should be a minimum allowable amount of fecal matter in our meat and veggies.

Love,
Damon

PS. if you happened to be curious what the fictional “Green Tea Party” stance on abortion is, it’s this: Pro-abortion (not pro-choice)… everyone is required to have at least one abortion. Yes, offensive.. it.. is… but this came about because I keep hearing anti-abortionists refer to pro-choice as pro-abortion, and I always have to correct them on the proper terminology.

In the city of Pawtucket, there isn’t a Republican candidate running for Mayor. So whoever wins the Primaries for the Democratic Party would essentially become the next Mayor of Pawtucket… unless of course someone from an oddball party pulls a miracle out of their buttocks… Anyway, the rules of primaries elections prohibits a person who aligns with the Republican Party from voting on the Democratic Party ticket and vice-versa. Therefore, in this very situation, Republicans completely lose their vote for who will be our city’s next executive leader. Even though I declare myself independent, but I typically side with Liberal policies, I believe this is a bum deal for any conservative in our city. It’s just wrong to be prohibited to vote for your Mayor because of this 2 party system we’ve adopted.

What can we do about it? Eh… too late already… I’m just griping… I stopped caring right just as I’m writing this sentence… they should have gotten their act together and nominated some uptight dickhead.

I didn’t learn how to drive until I was 30 years old. I grew up in Hawaii, and my parents didn’t want me to learn until after high school, but by then, I was already off to college on the mainland (Pittsburgh, PA to be exact). After college, I moved to Boston where life is actually easier not owning an automobile. Boston’s public transportation is decent, traffic stinks, the drivers are fucking psychotic, and parking is always a bitch… it’s just easier. It was only until I moved to Pawtucket, RI when I really needed a car to survive in this modern world. Pawtucket is not the middle of nowhere. But mobility is freedom, and if I wanted to start my career as a freelance animator, that mobility was essential.

My friend, who I bought half a house with in Rhode Island, agreed to teach me how to drive. I also took lessons at AAA. After I got my license, I bought a new Toyota Corrolla and named her Shanaynay. Things seemed like they were “on the up and up.” I ventured out on my own in my desired career and doing well, owned a 3 bedroom house, new car, new pet cat…

The day after I got my new car, I was driving in Providence late in the evening and… I ran over a raccoon. I mean- SMASH!, Bump! (front tire), thump! (back tire), and I could see it violently twitching in my rear view mirror. I couldn’t pull over to see if it was okay because the street I was driving on has no place to pull over. If it didn’t die from my collision, surely the next car coming around the bend would end all suffering.

This was the “Thank You for teaching me how to Drive” e-card I quickly animated for Dee (the friend who helped me learn to drive). Watch it until the raccoon makes it’s appearance.

I'm a big wimp when it comes to killing animals. Bugs are just about the only thing I'm capable of murdering and sleeping well the next night. I imagine if we still lived in hunter-gather lifestyle, I'd... well... I'd still be the useless artist making decor. Just a millisecond before my bumper met the raccoon's face, I actually made eye-contact with the poor guy... furry black white and grey stripes, he was much like the kitten I decided to adopt the week before. Anyway, after I ran over the raccoon I parked my car at Whole Foods and just sat there feeling guilty. If I didn't learn how to drive, that raccoon would still be alive.

Anyhow, if the animation went by too fast (yeah, I should program controls on this Flash animation), here's the frame right before the "THUMP!"