Articles & Analysis

Crusaders GM Demands Bullets Be Investigated For Tanking

By Hamish Jones, Day 86, 2022

In one of his trademark rants that everyone laughs at but no one really pays attention to, Crusaders GM Hamish Jones today demanded that the JBLFL Commissioner investigate the Baltimore Bullets and their GM for tanking.

“Look at the games their losing,” Jones said over lunch (on his second bottle of Shiraz), “they’re winning when they should lose and losing when they should win.”

“He’s clearly trying to lose as many games as possible to win in the draft lottery,” said Jones, “so he can trade away early picks for someone else’s marquee players.”

“I mean, look at his most recent game against my Crusaders, a game he should have lost based on recent form,” followed up Jones, “but when he played his full squad in the right positions he won the game. No “resting” there.”