You learned that your partner cheated and your relationship went downhill from there. At the end of the day, fault should not be put to the person who got cheated on, no matter how other people say otherwise.

This is what Ami Angelowicz wrote in an emotionally-charged article over at The Frisky. She admitted she cheated when she was younger and was not proud of it.

“It wasn’t my boyfriend’s fault. He did nothing wrong,” Angelowicz wrote. “I was the asshole with the bad coping skills.”

She has since swore never to cheat again. “I’ve learned how to talk about my feelings. I would never cheat on anyone again because I understand why it’s not the right thing to do. It doesn’t solve any problems, it only creates more,” she continued.

But other relationship experts would advise that a man or woman in a relationship may cheat because their partner (the “cheatee,” as Angelowicz referred it) did not do enough. One licensed relationship counselor wrote: “Men cheat because they want more variety in their sex lives. Some complain of being bored. They want to feel adored by their partners; they want to assert their freedom; they are tired of disappointing you; they want a partner who places them at the center of their life, and they no longer feel like the priority in yours.”

Angelowicz disagreed. “Yes, it was probably a symptom of a problem in the relationship, but cheating is not the appropriate way to handle such problems. People who cheat are selfish cowards.”

Their opinions differ further when it comes to what the cheatee should do to save the relationship. The counselor advises women to do everything to keep their man faithful, including “initiating sex,” avoid being “too controlling,” and “learning his love language.”

Angelowicz countered that relationships are not about entertaining one’s partner to the point that you drown him of adoration so he won’t get tempted into looking for someone else.

She added: “You’re a person with your own needs. You should always take responsibility for your actions, for the role you play in the relationship, but you should never ever take the blame for being cheated on.”