Pregnancy and you blog

Blog: Surviving the first two weeks with your newborn

During pregnancy it's hard to imagine what labor will be like. During your postpartum stay at the hospital it's hard to imagine what taking the baby home will be like. Even if you've been through this before, you're adding another person to the family and the task may seem overwhelming.

I believe the first two weeks home with a newborn are the hardest. You're recovering from labor and birth — possibly from a C-section. You're sleep deprived. If you're breast-feeding, you may have sore nipples and worry whether the baby is getting enough milk. You have vaginal bleeding and you haven't had to deal with that in months. The list can go on and on.

Most importantly, however, you're learning to care for your baby. The baby doesn't speak any recognizable language and it takes time to learn his or her cues. For example, the baby wanting to suck on anything that comes near its mouth doesn't necessarily mean he or she is hungry. Likewise, the baby screaming and crying doesn't always mean something is wrong. Understanding your baby's needs and preferences is a trial and error system for most parents. I found that my son liked to swing while listening to classic Motown hits.

While you're getting to know your baby, keep these tips in mind:

Sleep whenever you have the chance. The dust bunnies will still be there in a few weeks. Just name them and let everyone know they'll be a part of the family for awhile. It's even OK to fall asleep during conversations.

Accept help. When people ask if there's anything they can do, give them a job. It can be as simple as watching the baby while you take an unhurried shower and wash your hair, maybe even put on makeup. If you have other children, let someone take them for a few hours or the whole day so you can have some alone time with the new baby.

Never refuse a meal you don't have to cook. If someone is staying with you — whether it's your partner, your mom, your sister or a friend — let them wait on you. You deserve it and need it.

I have another question. I'm 7 months pregnant. We argue a lot with my husband lately. We shout and scream at each other and it stresses me out. How does it harm my baby?

Simona

November 9, 2013 8:49 p.m.

I will give birth in 2 months to my first child. We live far away from our families. My husband took off from work 10 days before and 10 days after the due date. Then straight after my parents are coming for 15 days.
My husband got me so angry yesterday when he asked me on Skype in front of his family if it's ok that his older sister comes after my parents leave. What could I have said, when everyone was there looking at me!? I did not like the position he put me in. We 'met' last night with his sister for the first time, so we did not see each other in person yet. What more, he said &quot;Come for a month and look after the baby. I will be busy with my promotion at work so it will be you two alone for a month.&quot;
I will feel so uncomfortable. I will have lots of emotions, my body and my new baby to deal with. Is it too much to ask to be alone, try to settle down, bond with my baby alone and try to get into some kind of routine with her? For him it's his sister, for me she is a stranger coming in my life when I have the biggest event in my life going on and staying with me 30 days 24/7.
Another thing that makes my blood boil and I literally see red spots when his family keep saying all the time how I will not be able to take care of the baby alone. They take away all the joy and looking forward to my daughter when she comes out to this world. And it makes me feel like I'm not and adult. I expect it to be difficult and overwhelming but hearing this every day stresses me out

Simona

July 27, 2013 10:30 p.m.

my mom has been a savior she took the whole week off once i had my baby and the next week my boyfriend didn't start work till later so my mom would come and get me when he left so i have always been at her house while she made dinner and would watch the baby while i slept :)

Jessica

May 22, 2013 3:55 p.m.

Hi Martha,
I understand your situation. I would recommend taking your baby for a check up with your GP as your baby may have a reflux problem or colic if the crying is constant. My little boy was the same but once it was diagnosed and dealt with thing improved alot and makes things so much better for you too.

Andrey

May 16, 2013 5:30 p.m.

I just deliver my first boy couple days ago. My husband is currently out of the country but I have my parents helping out. The thing is that they have to work and that would leave me alone in the house with the baby for hours. As soon as they leave, the baby starts to cry and no matter how much I comfort him, he wouldn't stop. During those hours, I couldn't eat, rest, or do anything at all. I've cried out when it reach to the point I couldn't take it anymore. If anyone has any tips, please help me. Thank you.

Martha

April 4, 2013 1:06 a.m.

I am having my first baby and have had difficulty with the pregnancy. I have been thinking the hard part will be over once my boy arrives. This article and blog has been a bit of a wake up call. I have a wonderful husband but we are all alone 100's to 1000's of miles from family, and no ties in our community. I am a little scared now. God please watch over us.

Jessica

April 1, 2013 8:55 a.m.

Nice Article. Useful information for new mum.

Connie Rich

April 1, 2013 8:52 a.m.

It is really a hard work to take care a infant But if your husband can give a helping hand, it will be much easier.

Rose Mary

March 27, 2013 6:46 a.m.

Nancy, I think you are caught in a difficult situation. This is your first baby and you will have all the uncertainties that all first time mothers have. It is understandable that you want some time with the baby to bond and to get used to the new role. If your step-daughter lives in the same city maybe you and your husband can develop a plan that does not involve her staying with you for the first week but allows for some special time for hew with the new baby. Talk with your husband about your feelings and need to have some time with the baby. Reassure him that you will be happy to have your stepdaughter stay with you all after you are feeling more recovered from the birth. Keep the lines of communication open with your husband and your stepdaughter. Plan special things for the new big sister to do with you and the baby. Talk with other women who have similiar experiences. They may have some special tips for you and your husband.

Mary@Mayo

March 20, 2013 8:03 a.m.

My husband wants to have his daughter stay with us for a week when our baby is born so that she can also bond with her new brother. This is my first child and I feel that I need to have time alone to bond with my baby when he/she is born and not have a nine year old around when I've just give come home from the hospital. Am I being ridiculous in requesting this, as my husband seems to think I'm being selfish?

Nancy

December 11, 2012 8:18 p.m.

If you can afford it , get a baby nurse. I had one and it was worth the money. My friends recommended it and I must say the nurse took care of all the baby's needs and my own. I was stress free and less overwhelmed.

Pat

September 24, 2012 3:24 a.m.

Pregnancy is a difficult condition for most moms because you will go through a lot of pain during and when the time the labor comes in. For first time moms don't hesitate to seek help when you need to. You need to be surrounded by love and not stress.

Sofia

August 10, 2012 12:48 a.m.

Insist on having a parent or sibling help out if they can do it. My mom stayed with us both times and did laundry and dishes and held the baby when I needed it. I cried when she had to leave. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Jane

June 12, 2012 6:08 p.m.

Make meals ahead of time, and freeze them! I made meals to last us nearly a month, because let's face it noone is gonna provide you with breakfast, lunch, AND dinner every single day for an extended period of time... This way we have meals ready and frozen, and if people decide to bring us stuff, our frozen meals will last even longer! I started at 37 weeks and I'm glad I did! We have assorted breakfast/lunch burritos, frozen homemade pancakes/waffles, and assorted dinners that freeze well such as Enchiladas, Individual meatloaf portions, Stuffed Peppers, Cabbage rolls, Gallon bags filled with raw ingredients ready to be tossed in the slow cooker, and more. Basically a month of food that cost me around 180$ for a family of 3, which is cheaper than shopping weekly, and deffinatley cheaper than ordering fast food/delivery!

Kelly

May 28, 2012 2:23 p.m.

I am a Grandmother with a new 4 week old grandson. His parents read somewhere that babies do not need booties on because it could cause clun feet or to make the foot disfigured. I am 60 years old and have NEVER heard such a thing. The father says that when the baby's feet turn blue then he will put on booties. Anyone that I ask has never heard of this either. Am I way behind in raising babies or are the parents taking this &quot;ridiculous&quot; statement too serious? Please tell me that I am not crazy!!!!

Pat

April 22, 2011 8:07 p.m.

I am on baby #2, and the hardest part for me is finding the balance between the two kids. I don't want my oldest to feel left out, so when the baby is sleeping, I am playing with him. Luckily, my oldest still takes naps, so when both are asleep, I try to sleep. I actually did not like having people around helping. I wanted to get back into my own routine as quickly as possible. I also liked taking the kids out of the house right away, but that's just a personal preference. I didn't want to feel trapped in baby world.

Amber

April 14, 2011 6:00 p.m.

Thanks for that information,it made life a whole lot easier,and this is coming from a 10 year old .

sophia

January 22, 2011 8:34 a.m.

The first two weeks are rough and it doesn't matter if you gave birth or not. We got a foster baby at three weeks old. I am going through all the new mom two week emotions even though she's over two weeks old. One day I feel like I got this, the next day I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and feel stressed. I'm very jealous of maternity leave. I'm trying to manage new baby, work and house work. People say let the housework go, well I have social workers popping in so I don't feel like that's an option. I also have the added stress of not knowing if the baby will go back to her mother or if we'll be able to adopt her, we won't know that for a long time. Asking for prayers for this baby that whatever happens it's in the best interest for the baby.

Foster Mom

July 2, 2010 10:57 p.m.

My son is just over 4 weeks old. The first two weeks were tough, even though we're still not out of the woods yet! I have lots of family that came to stay with us, and helped. I started pumping early on so our parents could help with middle of the night feedings so we could get more uninterrupted sleep. People from our church were wonderful about bringing us meals. I was not afraid to ask for help, and cry when needed! This is a whole new experience, and my husband and I have not had a lot of experience with infants, so it's been a challenge at times. I have to keep reminding myself that this stage will pass, and then we'll face the next challenges as they come!

Paige

June 23, 2010 11:33 a.m.

I just had my 2nd son, I think the first 2 weeks are the easiest bc you run on pure adrenaline and excitement of a miracle! Im 3 weeks out and its all catching up with me, Im exhausted and feeling overwhelmed with my 2 year old running around on top of it. I felt this same way after the birth of my first. Im starting to feel like a failure. My mother did this all by herself with 4 kids and I can barley handle 2...

Nikki

May 1, 2010 6:22 p.m.

My daughter is nearly three weeks old, and you must definitely sleep when the baby sleeps!
Also, don't be too proud to accept help. The wonderful ladies in our church brought meals every evening for over a week after she and I came home. We only just finished the last of the leftovers! My mom and sister washed dishes, did the laundry, and generally kept the house presentable.
Finally, do take a few minutes for yourself. Let someone else enjoy some time with the baby while you take a shower, read a book, or take a nap. Even if you're breastfeeding, you should easily be able to manage 20-30 baby-free minutes every couple of days.

Monique

March 22, 2010 10:04 p.m.

oh dear god my fifth baby is two weeks today... I am exhausted and tired,, there is no such thing in a house where five children under the age of six live to sleep when your baby sleeps,,, so cry when you have to. I do. Laugh when its so out of control you dont know what to do and call up a friend to complain to and make your better half cook... banquet dinner to the rescue..

Amber

February 11, 2010 10:35 p.m.

My baby boy is two weeks old today. I must say the things that have got me through my first few days where to have help from loved ones sleep when my little one is sleeping and to eat things you can easily throw in the microwave and eat on the go. No cleaning no grooming or cooking only what is baby necessary. Going out to the local CVS and grociery store was great as well.

Chapa

January 19, 2010 11:14 p.m.

My baby will be two weeks tomorrow, and the best advice I can give a new mother, is sleep when your baby sleeps. Even if it's just for an hour or two, it most definately helps. Also, when people offer help, take it. Dealing with a newborn can get very frustrating and your hormones will make you cry, be angry, laugh.. so many different emotions. If someone wants to watch the baby for a couple hours, let them. Even though you want to spend every minute with your new baby, you need time to yourself too. &amp;&amp; also to be with your partner. This is my first baby, but it only took me two weeks to figure out her different cries and ques. Good luck to new moms and their babies.

C.G.

October 27, 2009 9:12 a.m.

Wouldn't have survived without the help of our permanent babysitters (grandmothers) who let me sleep for an hour here or there throughout the day and all those dinners people brought us. Sleep was the single most important factor to me feeling &quot;normal&quot; again. Definitly recommend getting some.

Mary Elizabeth

August 17, 2009 10:34 p.m.

Figuring out the baby's favorite activities doesn't take very long. My son is only three weeks old, but I discovered when he was only a week old that traveling soothes him more than anything else possibly could. Put him in the car or stroller, and as soon as it's moving, bam; he's out, like someone flipped a switch. I have no qualms about taking him out for a walk in his stroller at midnight. It also gets me out of the house and helps reduce my own stress.

Amy

July 30, 2009 4:04 a.m.

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renuka

July 14, 2009 5:04 p.m.

People have different thoughts about venturing out with a newborn, but I found it calming and reassuring to get out of the house very soon after my two children were born (within a day or two of being at home). If mom feels up to it and baby is healthy, a walk in the neighborhood, a trip to the grocery store or to a favorite coffee house can do wonders. Many new parents think they have to bring so much &quot;equipment&quot; with them when they leave the house with a new baby that they hesitate to go out. Keep it simple and stress goes down, enjoyment of baby goes up. Enjoy getting out for some fresh air or favorite parts of your pre-baby routine.

sg

July 10, 2009 2:36 p.m.

The best advice I ever got was from an older lady who told me &quot;when the baby sleeps, the mother sleeps&quot;. Forget the housekeeping and eat Kraft Dinner if you have to, but get your rest.

Connie

July 9, 2009 8:58 p.m.

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing this article. I plan on being a mother soon and it's great to find articles like these.

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