The Twilight Saga & Abstinence

Edward is the perfect gentleman.

Ask someone if they’ve read the Twilight novels, or if they’ve watched the films, and you usually get one of two responses:

1. You can’t be serious?
or
2. OMG! I LOOOOOVE it!

It’s a phenomenon that has caused euphoria and dismay in equal measure, and now it reaches its finale as the last film, Breaking Dawn Part 2, is released in cinemas.

The scale of Twilight’s popularity is astonishing. The gothic romance novels written by Stephanie Meyer about vampires and werewolves have sold over 100 million copies worldwide, and the four movies released to date have netted a staggering $2.5 billion at the box office. Popularity often doesn’t go with quality – the novels are indeed poorly written, but the ideas have certainly captured the public’s imagination.

Bella needs a new Shadchan!

For those who have kept themselves removed from the phenomenon, here’s a quick outline. Bella, an apparently ordinary teenager, moves to a new town and promptly becomes embroiled in an intense relationship with the stunningly attractive Edward, a fellow teenager at her school. Turns out he’s a 106 year old vampire. Darn. But all is not lost – he’s a good vampire – he and his family live on animal blood and don’t hunt humans. Great! As the saga progresses, 16 year old Jacob enters the scene. Bella forms a strong bond with him too, but what bad luck, he turns out to be a werewolf. (She needs to get a new Shadchan!) The plot continues, meandering from one melodramatic scenario to the next, with Bella regularly in mortal peril and being saved by the super beings and so on.

Sounds like a load of nonsense, right? Well, to be fair, much classic Gothic literature revolves around a ridiculous premise, but uses the fantastic as a platform to explore a topical theme. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, for example,examines the hubristic nature of science. The classic vampire novel, Dracula is essentially about the aristocracy feeding on the poor. These were the hot topics of the day. So what’s the burning issue that Twilight explores, and why has it proved so popular, particularly amongst young women who form its massive fan base?

There is one vital element to this Gothic romance which holds the key. Since Edward is a vampire he must continually resist his urge to devour Bella. This means he must always be in complete control of himself when he is in her presence, as he says, ‘”I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident…I can never afford to lose any kind of control when I’m with you.”’ (Twilight, p271) Edward is passionately in love with her, but is steadfastly committed to protecting her from the dangers around her, including the danger that he himself poses. He is, ultimately, the perfect gentleman.

This idea is completely and utterly irresistible to young women. Who could have conceived a more desirable hero? He has the Byronic charm – handsome, charismatic, but also dangerous, and yet in true chivalric fashion dedicated to keeping his beloved’s virtue and honor in tact. As the plot progresses, circumstances change and Edward suddenly insists, to Bella’s surprise, that they marry first. In fact, the exchange following his proposal is one of the sparse funny moments in the series;

“Oh, c’mon,” I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice. “I’m only eighteen.” “Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.” (New Moon, p477)

Through Edward, Meyer manipulates the vampire myth to create a hero who is at once intensely passionate and fully committed to the concept of abstinence without seeming prudish.

‘Abstinence’ is the label given to the idea of waiting until marriage to engage in intimacy. The Bush administration pumped $270 million into abstinence education programs but it seems that the concept has actually been much more successfully conveyed by Twilight. In a study conducted by the University of Missouri in 2010, academics found that the abstinence message was the feature Twilight fans kept referencing as the reason Bella and Edward’s relationship was so appealing. Furthermore, they said it was because of the books, and not their parents or the education system, that they considered it a viable and desirable option.1

To me, the fact that the abstinence theme resonates so strongly with so many is no surprise at all. Deep down most people would love to live the dream of only having one partner, but this wish is clouded by the pressures of the grossly permissive and gratification obsessed culture in which we westerners live. It often proves too difficult for youngsters to resist; the power of conforming to a norm that is both corrupt and damaging is formidable.

Stephanie Meyer is well known to be a religious woman (though not Jewish) and her approach in this area is in step with Jewish values. Judaism states that men and women should behave with the utmost dignity in this area and avoid physical embroilment with the opposite gender entirely until marriage. Judaism regards intimacy as a holy act which is the consummation of a loving and committed relationship – emphatically not the casual and superficial activity it has become, undertaken with minimal commitment.

The two candidates for Bella’s affections, Edward and Jacob, must both overcome their instincts and retain absolute control to be worthy of her. It seems cynical to ask what is more unrealistic in this series: the existence of vampires and werewolves, or the existence of young men who are able to control themselves. But such a question points to a societal permissiveness that in some ways is stunting the spiritual growth of today’s youth. In Judaism, we believe that what makes human beings special is our ability to separate ourselves from our animalistic urges. Perhaps Twilight is teaching us that our animalistic sides can also teach us how to be human.

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About the Author

Keren Keet is a freelance artist, cartoonist and writer. She has a monthly column in the international Mishpacha Magazine, and her work has been published in many newspapers and websites across the globe. Keren has illustrated several projects with the United Synagogue UK, including their Early Years Siddur, and she has worked extensively in the Jewish greetings cards industry. A selection of her cartoons are available as greetings cards. She lives in Edgware, London, with her husband and children. To find out more visit her website: www.kerenkeet.co.uk

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 7

(6)
Thomas_jones,
November 2, 2015 12:07 PM

Agree and Disagree

First of all, nice article. And you're right that a lot of twilight fans like it because of the abstinence message, but i've found that most like it because they think Edward is the perfect guy (specially the teenage fanbase) and thew find him hot(even more so after the films...geez). I've read twilight, and its pretty stupid, but if you read it from the perspective of a hormonal and abstinent teenage girl, then its probably the best thing you've ever read(cringe). In the book ,Edward is described to be the perfect man by Bella. Bella has Edwards unconditional devotion without providing anything to the relationship (other than the fact that he likes the smell of her blood). So,when teenage girls read twilight, they sort of get swept of their feet by Edward's charecter,cause now they also think he's the perfect guy. Now getting back to abstinence, the fact that in the book,edward is the abstinent in the relationship(being a guy and all), is what makes it appealing to the abstinent girls who read it ,cause the now think that a relationship like this can also be romantic. So i get you're point, a lot of readers got into abstinence because of Edward. But that doesn't change the fact that most girls who have read twilight are infatuated with Edward solely because he's attractive, devoted and won't leave you even if you're like bella( who has no contributing character traits and is described as having average looks). So finishing, I live in a society where almost everyone is abstinent cause the religion demands it and i'm 17,also an abstinent cause it is expected of me (nor with it or against it). Also ,I get the moral and religious standpoint of abstinence, but even i dislike twilight more cause it hits you way to hard over the head with its abstinence message.

(5)
Leah,
August 6, 2014 9:40 PM

Not from Edward!

I was also very impressed with Edward's abstinence. However, I find the this relationship is not the ideal one to learn from. Edward is restrained, but not because he believes in decency and purity, but because he is afraid of hurting Bella.Incidentally, their relationship sounds like the classical abusive partnership, where the guy controls the Girl to follow HIS rules exactly and not make one step without him. Meawhile, he is free to do whatever he pleases. She pours out her heart to him all the time, and he laughs at her (!). She trusts him and he betrays her. She waits for him to return to her and Ends up having to save HIM, because he went to get himself killed out of supposed pain due to her Absence.In short, thie relationship is higly unconvincing. There is no effort on either part, and None of the two seems to have a life apart from touching each other at random places and pledging each other eternal love. No thanky, I'd prefer to read about a couple that is less abstinent, but more devoted, more hard.working, more serious and realistic about their relationship.

(4)
blim,
November 14, 2012 5:35 AM

agree with the posters tho the article was good

(3) Anonymous, November 13, 2012 9:23 AM
I totally agree with your assessment of the book. I feel your comment hit it on the mark

(3)
Anonymous,
November 13, 2012 9:23 AM

A Larger Factor at Play

Your article interested me, as I've heard a lot of people bringing up abstinance when discussing the 'benifits' of Twilight. While I do agree with what you wrote in this article, I think there is are two much larger factors at play with why Edward is so popular with young women. Simply put: 1. he's crazy about 'me', and 2. low-maintenance relationship.
Every teenage girl can see themselves as Bella (depressing self-esteem, unfair/hard life, doesn't feel beautiful) and every girl would love to find that perfect guy who will just 'imprint' on them despite thier shortcomings (and if that deal happens to come together with everlasting youth in perfect body, then all the better for today's young Americans).
Additionally, there is absolutely no work necessary in Bella and Edward's relationship.There is nothing that Bella can do that would make Edward stop loving her, and he doesn't expect anything from her in return for his devotion. What girl wouldn't want that--a man who is handsome, charismatic, etc. (all those great traits brought up in the article) who doesn't need you to do a thing. He'll put in all the work and you get all the benifits.
All things considered; while teenagers might be picking up on the abstinance theme, I am a bit worried that they'll also end up waiting a long time for an impossible guy to sweep them off thier feet. Every relationship needs work, and both partners will have faults. Does anyone want to write a YA bestseller with those messages?

Rose,
November 13, 2012 4:57 PM

Agreed!

I totally agree with what you're saying! I read these books when I was in high school (I'm 21 now) and the main thought that was going around in my circle of friends is that we want to find that perfect guy like Edward Cullen and have him "be the man and take control." well, which 17 year old girl doesn't? As I got older and joined the dating world, I realized that not only is it not possible, but if that's what someone is looking for then they'll just be miserable! Marriage is about building the relationship together and learning to deal with the incompatibilities, and media is NOT getting that message across. Many young men and women start out thinking that they are going to find that "perfect" person but that mentality has to be straightened out (which it often does) to really be able to find true, everlasting love.

(2)
Anonymous,
November 12, 2012 10:23 PM

A great article!

(1)
Yael,
November 12, 2012 2:54 PM

Really?

Your article is well written, but I believe that the point is off the mark. The Twilight story is one almost completely antithetical to Torah values, and to pick one aspect of the story and claim that it has significance in our lives as Torah Jews is taking it a little too far. Yes, we do believe in abstinence, but we don't learn it from a vampire featured in a pop culture teen book.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!