In terms of new releases, this weekend’s box office battle really came down to which big-chested movie star you wanted to see beat people up. Scarlett Johansson destroyed The Rock in that battle, where it also didn’t take 100% of your brain to know that a Luc Besson movie was probably going to be better than a Brett Ratner movie. There was also the matter of there having been another Hercules movie barely six months ago… Long story short, ‘Hercules’ was probably set up for failure, and the fact that it managed to gross $29 million against ‘Lucy’s $44 million (domestically) is actually pretty okay.

It should also be noted, of course, that ‘Hercules’ cost $100 million to make against ‘Lucy’s $40 (though ‘Hercules’ also earned another $28.7 million overseas, where ‘Lucy’ hasn’t yet opened). The latter is now the biggest opening film in either Besson’s or Johansson’s career.

Not that people really liked it that much…

The film’s marketing highlights a wholly different movie, selling a sci-fi heavy character drama about a young woman unwillingly given a drug that basically unlocks her brain and transforms her into a higher form of human as a “Watch Scarlett Johansson use super powers to kick righteous butt!” action picture. What action the film contains is mostly revealed in the trailer, so the fact that the film received a C+ from Cinemascore is actually surprising. [Forbes]

Meanwhile, Paramount hid ‘Hercules’ from critics like it was… well, like it was a Brett Ratner movie… scheduling press screenings about five hours before the official opening. They might not have worried, however, as the 63% of the critics who did see it recommended it. Which is astonishing if you’ve read Laremy’s review.

I guess it’s just hard to hate this face:

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And hey, did you know there was a Rob Reiner movie starring Michael Douglas and Diane Keaton movie opening this weekend? Neither did anyone else! ‘So It Goes‘ opened to $4.55 million on 1762 screens (for comparison, ‘Boyhood‘ has thus far opened on only 107 screens). Shockingly, the strategy of giving a movie aimed at moms a generic, nearly-impossible-to-remember title (From the ‘And So Something Goes As Good As It’s Gotta Give’ school of Diane Keaton titles) turned out to be not such a great one.

There was also a new Woody Allen movie out this weekend in a few early locations, ‘Magic In The Moonlight,’ which earned about $25k per screen on 17 screens. Here’s a fun game: show this picture to an older person and ask them what year they think the film came out in:

Sony Pictures Classic

Sweet Jesus.

Here’s a clip from it. And yes, Emma Stone (25) is playing Colin Firth’s (53) love interest, because Woody Allen long ago stopped giving a f*ck.

Woof. Get it? He’s a by-the-book businessy Facty Facterson and she’s a Loopty Loopety free spirit with her head in the clouds. This looks like ‘Along Came Polly’ after it came back from a semester abroad. And married its professor.

People care as much about Scarlett Johansson being in The Avengers as much as they care about who the guy is in a porno (or guys in many cases). The talking tree and raccoon with a machine gun are getting a movie before the female superheroes for god’s sake.

Lucy and Under the Skin had more in common than I expected (both had premises that seemed exploitative but neither film delivered on the exploitation part). I preferred the latter. Lucy was OK but yeah, if you were expecting super-babe kicks gangster ass, you lose.

Four Cary Grant movies by way of example: “To Catch a Thief”, “An Affair To Remember”, “Houseboat” and “North By Northwest”, where Cary Grant was 51, 53, 54 & 55 respectively at their time of production. His leading ladies were Grace Kelly (26), Deborah Kerr (36), Sophia Loren (24) & Eve Marie Saint (35). The Eve Marie Saint one was actually surprising as I thought she was younger. Deborah Kerr was kind of boring, even in “From Here To Eternity” she’s drop dead average, but the others are goddesses.

As a gentlemen of a “certain age,” I am whole-heartedly in favour of films of this type, I guess. Except it raises unfulfilled expectations…why don’t 20-something hot chicks find ME irresistible? I can’t believe it’s because I’m not rich, famous, suave, debonair, and handsome. That would mean young women are superficial!

I should say, I’m not a P&P fangirl, but it made the rounds in my college dorm. Plus, I was an English major with English-maor-girl-friends…. I feel like I slept in that movie and then brushed my teeth with it. And I think I only saw it once.

You guys think that like, sometimes when, like one person’s movie opens way ahead of another’s that, that person calls that person and is like, “Oh, I crushed you, The Rock! ScarJo says, ‘suck it!'” and then it starts some playful banter and stuff and then they bang?

Lucy was actually pretty good. People shouldn’t expect a wall to wall action movie from Luc Besson (The Transporter not withstanding.) Even so, it had one of the best car chases in recent memory, and with only one car. Not many directors can pull that off.