Twinkies Are Being Sold On Ebay And Craigslist For Thousands Of Dollars

After hearing the news that Hostess Brands, including the much-beloved Twinkies, is going out of business, the Ralph Kramdens of the world ran and/or rolled on their Scooters to the nearest gas station to buy a box of Ding Dongs before supplies ran out. Why? Well, poppa’s gotta eat, but also: there’s some serious dough to be made, which would be a pun if Ho Hos were made of dough. (I think?) Hostess snacks, via Mashable, are being sold for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on Ebay and Craigslist. #yolo

If there’s any morbidly obese person out there who’s thinking of spending thousands of dollars on an overrated snack (and I’m sure you’re out there), here’s what you should do instead: give that money to one of the former-Hostess employees who are now out of a job. Then they’ll be your friend, and tell you ALL the secrets about how to make the perfect Twinkie. You’ll be set for any and all apocalypses. Except diabetespocalypse.