All the things I so often say to my daughter flashed into my mind, and they all had one thing in common. I wasn't focusing on making memories for my daughter -- I was obsessed with the future and constantly hurrying toward it. And why? I had this awesome, perfect present to enjoy.

SAHWMs don't have time for a wasted minute. When SAHWMs are working, they get eight hours of work done in five. If a memo comes home from school that a diorama of the water cycle will be due next week, the SAHWM wants to lead the coup to overthrow the administration.

I was emailing when I should have been playing, and playing when I should have been emailing. I felt like I couldn't fully dedicate myself to either thing and therefore felt half as good an employee and a mom

But I don't talk about those things because I worry. I worry that if my day doesn't seem hard enough or chaotic enough, I'm not doing it right. I worry that my husband (and maybe the rest of the working world too) thinks I'm getting a free ride on the gravy train.

We're no longer on an even playing field. We haven't been for some time now. The ground seems slanted, the court warped,the turf tainted. Whatever sports analogy you conjure, things are far from even. And the "call" is in the eye of the beaten-down beholder.

7-year-old's don't give one whit that you have given up your identity or that you are sacrificing yourself for their well-being. So, don't point that out to them. It's the equivalent of blood in the water for shar

The kids were gone for a few hours, and when they finally returned, their smiles were bright, and their cheeks were glowing... from both the sun and the massive ice cream cones they'd eaten. And I'd missed it.

Any husband and father worth his salt will tell you that coming home to happy kids is so much better than coming home to a clean house... and the best ones will come home and tell you how awesome you are as they unload the dishwasher for you.

When you are a mom of little kids, you can choose to stay home all day for no particular reason. You can cancel plans and play on the floor all day. Now, keeping my son home for a lazy day would be an unexcused absence.

Some mornings, it take a great deal of determination to not slip into some heels, run out the front door and beg for my quiet, organized cubicle back. That is why it infuriates me when a working mother says to me: "I could never be a stay-at-home mom."

Full-time moms are so hungry for economic independence that many of them are willing to take on any challenging job they can encounter. The problem is that society is still taking baby steps on this topic, either not offering mothers a chance, or giving them inadequate options.

In my 16 years of being a stay-at-home-mom, I've had my share of tough days. It's not easy to be the primary caregiver of three kids. Especially with a husband who starts his long commute into NYC around 7 each morning and usually doesn't get home till past 9 each night.

Armed with the skills I accrued during my 10 years of working in the corporate world as an assistant to various financial executives and all of the parenting books one person could read, I set out to be my ideal of the modern, educated stay-at-home-mom.

"I work from home" provides no information. "Nothing," while tempting, belies the truth. "I work for my husband," makes me feel like I've set the feminist movement back 60 years and I'm riding shotgun with Betty Draper.

I've been judged for sending my daughter to daycare since she was 3 months old; accused of being shallow for not wanting to conform and live a more modest life with just one salary; and even told, "I'm so sorry you can't have more kids, because there's no way you can handle it."