Tag Archives: mommy life

Babies still need mommy even when she is miserably sick. God bless you single mommies who battle on when you feel under the weather. I don’t know how you do it, but kudos to you. My husband wasn’t much of a helper, but he was a warm body for me to whine to and bring me drinks while I was down.

Now, I am a pretty healthy person. In fact, during my entire pregnancy with Shark Baby, I never missed a day of work for illness. I was lucky enough to avoid any sinus infection, flu, or other bug that plagued my office and home life.
But, after being back in the germ-filled petri dish that is my office less than three weeks, I have been knocked down for the count.
On Thursday evening, I came home from work and started playing with the boy. I felt great, but by the time I needed to put him into the bath and get him ready for bed that all changed. I was achy, cold and miserable. It felt like someone had stripped me of every ounce of energy I stored in my body.
I felt magically better on Friday so I went to work and felt fine. But, Saturday morning rolled around and it was obvious the sickness was still here. Shark Baby had no clue. In fact, he was more than happy to wake up early and be in a wonderful mood. This did help me “fake it ’til I make it” all day. Well, except for when I finally was able to take a nap and he woke up screaming for a boob. Not a bottle. A boob. Husband tried the bottle and failed miserably. He has the patience of a two-year old anyway so I knew that wouldn’t work.
I managed to get some decent sleep (between the times I had to wake up to nurse SB and then ask hubby to roll over from snoring like a wild animal). I woke up on Sunday not 100%, but I attempted to make it to church. On the drive to church, I changed my mind and drove on to Target to get some meds.
WELL…wouldn’t you know that Target would be the place that SB finally realizes I am sick and wants to tell me that he is whiny too. I checked his butt, dry diaper. I checked his head, no fever. I tried to nurse. Nope. No boob. Guess who didn’t have a bottle with her? Guess who forgot the tummy drops? Yep. Guess who had a meltdown in Target and had to leave in a bucket of tears? Yep. This mommy.
I ended up getting hubby to take me to the walk in clinic yesterday because I thought it had turned into strep throat. My mouth was coated in white dots and it hurt like heck to swallow.
The nurse said the test was negative. Yay! Glad I spent $35 to hear it was negative. I really wanted something to make me feel better. I guess it is just a virus that will have to run its course.
But, at least I did get some popsicles brought to me in bed by the hubby. And I woke up to a happy baby who wanted lots of cuddles and love. I think cuddles are really the best medicine. It does make any sick mommy feel better.

After 10 gloriously stressful, happy, sleepless weeks of maternity leave, I reluctantly returned to work on Monday.
I had plans to wake up early and get in a 30 minute workout. That didn’t happen. I had a cuddlebug on my chest so I took an extra 30 minutes to cuddle and snooze.
At 5:30 a.m. I finally rolled out of bed and moved to the rocker to nurse him. A few tears rolled down my face as I watched him eat. I put him down in his crib to snooze for a few minutes while I proceeded to get ready for work. Showering, dressing and doing my hair went by with ease. But, when I started to get him ready for daycare I lost it.
“OMG! My baby is going to be spending the next 10 hours in the arms of a stranger. I can’t do this. What if he refuses to take the bottle? What will we do? OMG,” I thought as I dressed him and put him in his carseat.
I managed to drop him off with the sitter and walked out the door without crying. I left quickly so I wouldn’t lose it. Well, I LOST IT in the car on the ride to work. It was so much harder than I thought.
Once I got to work, everyone and their brother welcomed me back and asked me about the little man. I was fine as long as they didn’t ask how I was doing. I could mask my sadness with a smile by talking about how wonderful it was to be a mommy.
But, alone in the room with my breast pump I began to think about him and began to get sad again. What in the world was I doing? Leaving my baby? How could I do this?

Alas, I made it to 5 p.m. and I hit the door running to get my little man. I was certain that I would get to the sitter only to find him howling with his face cringed and tears forming in his little eyes. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find him sleeping peacefully on her lap. She was sucessfully coerced him into taking a bottle. He ate dutifuly and took nearly 12 ounces on his first full day. I was in total shock. Not that she kept him safe and happy (she has kept children for years and they all LOVE her), but that my baby would actually take a bottle. I was so happy. I could now go back to work and not have to spend most of my day worrying if the phone would ring with her on the line telling me he was miserable.

Today I sit nearly two weeks into my back to work routine and see that the boy has adjusted seamlessly. He loves the sitter and is happy and peaceful when I pick him up each day. I am still struggling to get back to the daily grind successfully. My life as I knew it before has forever changed. I thought my postpartum emotions were under control, but as soon as I started back to this new reality it all went to hell. I still find myself a bawling mess that is easily overwhelmed by emotions. I wish this wasn’t normal.