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23 reviews

16 of 19 people found the following review helpful

You need to find a new way to fight.Dec 18 2005

By
Melancholy
- Published on Amazon.com

Format: DVD

The opening of The Fallen Ones is an enormous, neon-lit exclamation to the world - this film is going to be dreadful and ludicrous, but by golly, we are going to do it anyway! I was simply shocked at how nonsensical and downright insulting-to-one's-intelligence a modern made-for-TV movie could be.

The Fallen Ones resembles one of those after-the-rapture/left-behind Christian films, right down to the helpful old rabbi to read us indecipherable scripture and tell us all the details left out of the bible. Perhaps the idea is that a cherubic, Yiddish-inflected, lilting old man softens the blow of seemingly interminable exposition - it doesn't. Tom Bosley will never be anything but Howard Cunningham to those currently under 65, and possibly Father Dowling to those above 65.

I love how Casper Van Dien's character throws out acromegaly as a possible excuse for the presence of a 40'-tall giant mummy in the desert of the American Southwest, while a 7'-tall actor who has the disease is actually in the first few minutes of the film (Carel Struyken, aka. 90's Lurch). And while we're on the subject, everyone is just too comfortable with this bizarre finding. It doesn't seem to shock or awe anyone as they gather around the giant corpse and banter about "whos-dig this is" or horseback riding or dam construction delays.

We could dismiss the film as silly, childish prattle made for young kids who may be scared of giants or mummies, but the seedy background story of horny angels impregnating human women and producing giant, demonic offspring is probably not suitable for younger viewers. You've been warned.

15 of 19 people found the following review helpful

Typical SciFi channel sludgeFeb. 10 2006

By
IrnMdn00
- Published on Amazon.com

Format: DVD

For a channel that continually gives us such tripe as "Mosquito" and "Bugs", "The Fallen Ones" is far from the worst that the SciFi channel has to offer. But as with most of their offerings, "The Fallen Ones" is devoid of a comprehensible script, Robert Wagner is horrible, and every few minutes you end up asking yourself, "What's going on here? I'm confused."But that's Ok, because the film is marginally saved by Tom Bosley, I gotta tell ya, you can put Mr Cunningham in any kind of movie, doing any kind of role and I'm going to be entertained.And you have to mention Caspar Van Diehm...we are living in blessed times to have this generation's John Agar meandering his way through B-movie after B-movie, he is so bad in an "Ed Wood" kind of way, that he almost makes you believe he's a credible actor.I liked the super-sized mummy, that was good imagination, unfortunately, most of the rest of the movie was lacking.

16 of 21 people found the following review helpful

Feels like a bigger filmSept. 27 2005

By
That Horror Guy "Bill"
- Published on Amazon.com

Format: DVD

I have to admit that when I sat down to watch this, I thought it was going to be the typical SCI-FI movie with a monster tearing somebody in half every five minutes. It was surprisingly good. Probably the best thing I've seen Casper Van Dien do since Starship Troopers and it's pretty funny. I would have liked to see more mummys (mummies?), but the scenes with them are pretty cool. The extras on the DVD are pretty interesting. The thing I kept coming back to was that this felt like a bigger film. I wonder if it was supposed to be in theaters.

All in all, a pretty decent creature feature.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

Two words: GIANT MUMMYAug. 19 2010

By
Michael J. Tresca
- Published on Amazon.com

Format: DVD

In the first few minutes of The Fallen Ones, some bearded guy (Ammon played by Navid Negahban) kills Lurch with finger-snakes. Or snake-fingers. It's hard to tell, I wasn't really paying attention. Then there's the poor special effects of a huge angry guy ranting at little snake finger guy while...

You know what? Let's just make this easy. If you have no tolerance for B-movies you can skip this movie and the review. Otherwise I've got two words for you: GIANT MUMMY.

Now for some people, those two words are the dumbest combination of words since "Ancient Egypt". But for those of us who are fans of mummies, making them giant-sized is a sweet sprinkling of mummy dust on our mummy cake.

There's not much more to say. Some archeologists (Matt Fletcher, played by Capser Van Diem of Starship Troopers fame) unearth the corpse of giant-sized Aramis (Robert Allen Mukes), taking the words from the Bible about "giants in the Earth" a little too seriously. While arguing over the importance and ownership of such a find, the hottie engineer Angela (Kristen Miller) spars with Fletcher about the GIANT MUMMY. Puzzled over the ancient writing on the GIANT MUMMY'S tomb, Fletcher enlists the aid of Tom Bosley (sporting a Jewish accent as Rabbi Eli Schmitt). Ammon's still around too, and since he's immortal he might as well be the chief of security for this incredible find.

Did I mention the GIANT MUMMY?

It wakes up, as all GIANT MUMMIES must. But before the GIANT MUMMY'S eyes flick open, we are treated to a GIANT MECHA MUMMY that is cultist-powered. That's right, this "effigy" stomps around while cultists in its arms, legs, and head chant to Ammon. Does life get any better than this?

Yes it does. Because not only does the GIANT MUMMY take on a helicopter, there are human-sized mummies inside of it. It's like six mummies for the price of one!

Somewhere in the middle of all this mummy goodness is a plot by Ammon to mate with Angela. Judging from the number of cheesecake shots where the camera slowly pans up, down, and sideways across Angela's prone body, the director wants to mate with her too.

If this film has a flaw, it's that the movie is actually more about Ammon than Aramis, more about devils than GIANT MUMMIES. Also, you can blow up a GIANT MUMMY by throwing a stick of dynamite 40 feet into its mouth. Okay that's two flaws. But at the end of the film there's a promise of even more GIANT MUMMIES.

And that's a pretty big deal.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful

The Fallen Ones stands up pretty good!Aug. 12 2009

By
Will A. Nugent
- Published on Amazon.com

Format: DVD
Verified Purchase

Well,maybe I'm just a softy for bad movies...or Kristen Miller movies,but,I liked The Fallen Ones.The story is very good(to say nothing of original,which is something that's lacking in hollywood now'a days!).I was pleasantly surprised to see that the characters were not some christian nuts going on some kind'a witch hunt!They actually made them out to be everyday kind'a people(refreshing!).By the way,even thought the movie points out the team had found a forty-two foot mummy,in reality,archaeologist have only found a skeleton of some thirty-five feet tall(so far).I have been wondering about the giants from the Bible.The nephilim or the fallen ones,were the off spring of fallen angels and earthly women,(or daughters of man as it is stated in the Bible).These renown men of old are the same spoken of in Greek,Norse,Native American and pre-Columbian South American mythology.Yes,the acting is less the oscar material,but I KNEW what to except Before I sat down to watch this movie!It kills me to read the same reviews from people who continue to watch these movies from the sci-fi channel when they have seen the other three hundred BEFORE!Can we just give these guys credit for trying and move on with it!Kevin Van Hook did a pretty good job with the schedule and budget that he had.YES,I liked the movie and storyline so much that I bought the dvd!Robert Wagoner,Kristen (kitten)Miller,Casper Van Dien and of course Tom Bosley did a good job with the storyline and acting.One of the best parts of the movie is the nephilim chasing the jeep with our heroes trying to save the girl,CLASSIC!The special effects were really good considering the time table and budget. The company that put the dvd out really did a great job in the layout and extras(making of, photos,etc.).I can't speak for anyone else,but I really hope they come out with a sequel.They could do one in South America or go to Israel and do something there Maybe even India in the Himalayian mountains.Hopefully they will have Casper and Kristen back if they decide to make another movie.