Ah, the glory days of AAMI Stadium. Crows and Power supporters living in perfect harmony. Well, kind of ..... Source: The Advertiser

AND now, the end is near - yes, AAMI Stadium faces that final curtain for AFL.

It was the best of stadiums, it was the worst of stadiums.

Actually, it never was the best of stadiums, but it had its endearing qualities. So what will miss and what will we farewell with glee?

Here are some suggestions.

Things we'll miss

Now here’s an indelible memory from Showdown I — Crow Rod Jamieson gets physical with Port’s Scott Cummings. Never have so many punches been thrown for so few hits.Source: The Advertiser

1. THE MEMORIES …. That glorious first match for the Crows, when all of Hawthorn's might and arrogance couldn't overcome a bunch of ageing SANFL stars and physically underdeveloped youngsters. Or Showdown I, where the Power announced that its proud Magpies tradition wouldn't be left behind as it slipped into the big league. Hell, the game even generated a Pro Hart painting.

The perfect entree ... Col Howard (right) and mates David Brooks and Robert Dewar enjoy a feast before a Crows match. With beer and sausages they have all the major nutritional groups covered.Source: The Advertiser

2. THE CARPARK BARBECUES … The only time when hitting a snag was a good thing. Beers, a barbie and, yes, on occasion a cheeky chardonnay as well. You knew that no matter how the day ended, it had began beautifully with a bit of charred flesh, drinks and some laughs with mates. Then into the stadium with a cry of: "They can take away our premiership points but they'll never take our barbies."

The man who named a pocket. Tony Hall marks over Brenton Sanderson - then a Geelong player, now the Crows coach, at AAMI Stadium. Sanderson's apparent anguish comes from the knowledge that Hall would slot the goal, even if it was from the "impossible" pocket. Picture: Phil HillyardSource: The Advertiser

3. THE "TONY HALL POCKET" … Especially when Tony Hall was kicking from it. When an opponent was lining up for a goal there was a warm, smug feeling that came from the knowledge that only a select few - most of them Port or Crows players - could slot a major from there.

On the buses ... Crows fans Paul, Josh, Lucy, Jane and Evie Angus are typical of the smiling folk who catch the Footy Express. After all, they've avoided the pre and post-game dodgem car ordeal in the AAMI carpark.Source: The Advertiser

4. THE FOOTY EXPRESS … No parking hassles, no worries about having a bevy or two, just a fun-filled journey into town with those of like mind …. And the occasional opposition supporter who would be subjected to just the right amount of good-natured banter. If your team won, that was bookended with an equally joyful return home. Or, if they'd lost, the proof that misery does indeed love company. And general agreement that the umps were to blame. If only the buses had a barbecue.

This bloke really loves his chicken salt - and isn't afraid to show it.Source: The Advertiser

5. CHICKEN SALT … With thanks to Michelangelo Rucci for pointing this out - AAMI is the only AFL venue to offer chicken salt. It helps hastily cooked and highly expensive chips slide down the throat. Are we the only ones that get this? Chicken salt is the Hutch to hot chips' Starsky. You may have had to line up for an eternity. You may have had to take out a personal loan to pay for them, but at least the chips HAD CHICKEN SALT!

The Crows celebrate, and so they should - they're continuing the misery for St Kilda at AAMI Stadium. It seems there are three things certain in life - death, taxes and St Kilda losing at West Lakes.Source: The Advertiser

6. ST KILDA … Always felt like it was money in the bank when the Crows or Power played the Saints. Star-studded they may have been over many years, but the St Kilda line-ups could only manage a 25 per cent win ratio. Count ended at 7 wins from 28 attempts at AAMI. Which is kind of funny, really. That'll teach them to sack Malcolm Blight!

Things we won't

Crows players contemplate the ordeal of trying to get out of the AAMI Stadium carpark. And the ensuing traffic which is harder to penetrate than the Geelong defence.Source: The Advertiser

1. THE TRAFFIC SNARLS … Damn, you had to earn that barbecue. Traffic around West Lakes on game day moved at a pace that would make glaciers look a little racy. And getting out was horrible. That's why so many fans were tempted to try to sneak off early when their teams were being belted. The bright side was the opportunity to listen to hours of talkback radio while you inched along. OK, not so bright. And there was always the worry that after a Crows loss, KG would do himself self-harm on air.

Power fans encounter the cold, hard truth of AAMI Stadium. The seats are hard and the stadium's cold.Source: The Advertiser

2. THE ARCTIC WINDS ... that used to whistle across the concrete monstrosity. Not sure if anyone actually died of exposure at AAMI but it had to be close. Got so cold the hard seats turned blue. Rumour has it that Antarctic explorer Duncan Chessell used to visit AAMI during the heart of winter to prepare for his adventures. Come to think of it, Sir Douglas Mawson would have understood what long-suffering fans went through. Who needs extremities anyway?

Tony Hall completes a rite of passage for new Power coach Ken Hinkley ... demonstrating how to kick from THAT pocket. If only we could get Tony to take all the kicks from there. Sort of a "pinch kicker" for the SA sides.Source: The Advertiser

3. THE "TONY HALL POCKET" ... when you really needed that goal and yet your team had kicked the ball to AAMI's very own Bermuda Triangle. There's something pathetic about huddling over with your eyes closed murmuring "Tony Hall, Tony Hall, Tony Hall" over and over again in an attempt to avoid a fate you already knew was coming.

It will ale end badly! Danny and James Kemp enjoy a beer at AAMI Stadium They look happy now, but wait until they have to keep their knees tightly together as they push past 20 people to make their way to a urinal queue of biblical proportions. Picture: Tait Schmaal.Source: The Advertiser

4. THE SEATING - and the terrible toilet challenge ... Surely Bastards Inc had some input in the design of seating at AAMI Stadium and subsequent decisions. First, put the rows of seats so close together that getting in and out is almost impossible. Make sure that the rows are long enough that people in the middle have to shuffle past at least a dozen people to get out. That does wonders for public harmony. Then allow people to bring alcohol to their seats, making the need to get to the toilet all the more urgent. And finally, make sure there aren't quite enough toilets to cater for the rush at the break of quarters. Brilliant work! What fun - push past exasperated fellow patrons, join the pee-hour (as against peak hour) rush line, wait around in the toilets' aromatic surroundings, try to avoid having your feet irrigated at the inadequate urinals (sorry, never went into the women's), rush back after the game has already restarted and push past those long-suffering people again.

Balfours may have been on to something here ... a pie that delivers itself. With the cost of food at AAMI its probably a fair enough expectation.Source: The Advertiser

5. THE FOOD AND DRINK ... It was a system in perfect balance - the dearth of venues and choices counterpointed brilliantly by the surfeit of people and prices. It's a long way to the top if you want to rock'n'roll but a longer way to the shop if you want some overpriced takeaway. A little like lining up to get mugged. Patrons were known to swoon at the cash register when a price that just had to be an ambit claim was uttered. And don't get me started on those stupid little packets of tomato sauce. Sadly, it was important to get back the calories you lost fighting through the jam-packed crowd to get to the bar.

Possibly one of the most nauseating sights in modern footy ... happy Collingwood players. Another win at AAMI, and one of the more disturbing victory dances.Source: The Advertiser

6. COLLINGWOOD ... Didn't they know how to make themselves comfortable? Hopefully they won't consider Adelaide Oval a second home ground. As if it's not bad enough that they denied Port the well-earnt Magpies tag. Then they went and behaved like unwelcome guests who make themselves at home in your living room. It's true that Port managed to get in a final blow in this season by downing the Pies - and the Crows didn't get a chance to embarrass themselves again - but Collingwood's 15-13 win-loss ratio at the stadium is an affront to common decency and common sense.

So, what will you miss and what can't you wait to leave behind? Let us know by filling in the comments box on this page.

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