Thursday, 15 December 2011

^^^Most flattering and Vogue-worthy facial expression the world has ever seen.

So I thought I would make a video as continuing on from what I said yesterday, I am feeling slightly deflated and underwhelmed by my blog and its lack of variety. I didn't think making a video would be that difficult though; for some reason I just seem to melt into some sort of stuttering flaccid mess whenever the record button is pushed and I am the subject. I bollocked it up at least 8 times and as a Youtube virgin (almost, if you're that interested there is a blonde me and my long haired brother with our culinary delights three years ago) it is a complete disaster. Might have to have a couple of shots of the ol'vodka next time for some courage...

If you follow me on twitter you'll know that today hasn't been my best. The Kyle has been a bit of a dick, to put it politely, and all we've done all day is bicker. Ah, to go back to the days where we lived 90 miles away from each other and only spent romantic weekends together (i.e. occasionally leave the house/show mutual affection for each other)...Men and women shouldn't live with each other, and if they do, they should have separate bedrooms so that the man can eat as many tuna/prawn sandwiches/leave as many half-drank beer bottles fermenting for as long as he likes in his personal room instead, rather than making the poor woman suffer and then get in a mood with her and accuse her of being a moaning, nagging lunatic when she finally cannot take the stench of decomposing fish and yeast any longer and ask you to take the offending objects down the stairs. Obviously I am not talking about me here, it's just a general view. Fucking men...

Let me know if videos are something you would like to see more of and I hope you're all having a lovely night (in your non-fish smelling bedrooms). Byeee!

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

It was a dismal and bitter December night; the wind was violently tearing through all it came across, rain slammed itself against the windows and the night seemed to swallow any flicker of light that dared spoil its dark bastion. But somewhere amongst the Yorkshire dales, a blogger awoke and once more took to her keyboard, and so it was a ghost blog no more…

HI GUYS. I thought I’d step into the overused, soiled and completely un-wearable boots of Mr. Charles Dickens for you all considering its Christmas and all- didn’t quite work did it? What. A. Shame.

Well I may as well just plunge right into it then. I have been a terrible, terrible excuse of a blogger lately. It’s been well over a month since I last posted and for that I feel awful. My excuse is feeble really, but I am going to drench you in it anyway and then coat you all in apologises in the hope you’ll be too busy looking at the pretty sugar glaze to remember that you’re soaking wet (I am nice). Basically, it has been too cold to even consider wearing anything remotely nice. I’ve been far too busy desperately trying to drown myself in layers to think about what look they collectively create. Luckily I have finally got some money in my pocket (aka. Bank) and so will do what most other mammals are too inferior to do in the winter- hunt. Yes, yes, it may not be for food (although I have been spending an absurd amount of time in Greggs recently devouring their Christmas tree biscuits), but, lets be honest now, you wouldn’t catch a squirrel waking up in dark and dragging itself to work every morning. Oh no, squirrels have the pleasure of staying in their little homes all warm and sleeping until the cold has subsided. We don’t. Therefore it is perfectly acceptable for a human to buy new clothes in order to keep itself warm. And yes, they do have to be pretty, because otherwise the human in question will be deemed unattractive and thus be unable to attract a mate and then the whole human race and the meaning of life itself will be undermined, and that’s not good at all. (Applaud here).

So there we have it, my excuse.

I’m not too pleased with my blog at the moment, I think it is seriously lacking in depth. All outfit post and no other things(?) makes Jess a dull girl. I am hoping to do some reviews and videos etc. very soon. I never intended this blog to be just outfit posts- that’s not really the sort of blog I read myself, I prefer a variety of features and a bit of personality, which I can’t really say my blog has at the moment. Hi motivation, bit of help here mate?

And finally a long overdue hello to all of my new followers! Who would have thought that by not posting I could gain followers- I hope you’re not trying to tell me something there! I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I am genuinely ridiculously grateful to everyone that takes the time to look at my ickle blog and comment and read what I have to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I, of course, being me and all, have tons more to say, but I am going to spare you from my ramblings for now and save them for another post. I hope you’re all feeling more festive than I am and that no one has lost any valuable limbs from the cold!

Lots of love

LISTENING TO: Morrissey, Alma Matters*were all free as they are hand-me-downs/borrowed from friends or family