The new trailer for The Expendables 3 has arrived and it has everything that you could ever expect from the third movie in an action franchise that might as well steal a classic rock radio station’s slogan – “The greatest stars from the 80s, 90s and today!” There’s a high-speed train prison break! Ronda Rousey kicking ass in a Las Vegas night club! Kellan Lutz jumping a dirtbike into a tall building! Sylvester Stallone grumbling things like, “You couldn’t take the stairs?” and “These guys are nuts”! Antonio Banderas also saying his lines, but in his suave accent! Jason Statham throwing a knife! Young Expendables doing crazy things and the old Expendables proving that being old is better than being EXTREME!

And then Mel Gibson shows up and he’s all, “You betrayed me so I kidnapped your young Expendables to lure you into my trap! BANG! BOOM! POW!” Needless to say, we’re looking at the best movie of 2014 right here.

Nope. Sly screwed over the only fans he had left. PG-13 bullshit. “We owe it to the fans”. NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 30 CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE!!! That trailer is godawful. CGI cars, CGI planes, CGI smoke, CGI explosions, CGI blood, CGI muzzle flares, CGI backgrounds. This movie probably costed 100 million dollars to fill everyone’s pockets, yet it looks worse than a DTV movie. I’ve seen better effects in youtube videos by animators that do this stuff with NO MONEY (Freddie Wong, for example). Stunts with vehicles (not action star “action” as far as I’m concerned, throw some fucking punches). Quick cuts for fight scenes (modern day action movie cinematography bullshit).

First 2 movies made around 300 million each. I doubt this one will make half that.