When you’re an Air Traffic Controller who gets fired, there’s a 40 percent chance you’ll manage to keep your job or retire on your own terms. The Federal Aviation Administration has trouble ridding itself of workers it accuses of screwing up, including two-thirds of those it tries to fire for using drugs or alcohol on the job.

A former New York Times film critic was canned by a website following an investigation into his review of Source Code, which contained language that made it appear as though the review could have been based upon an early draft of the script rather than the movie itself.

Two employees at the Sprint outlet at Cherry Creek Shopping Center, where that iPad customer had his pinkie ripped off by a criminal earlier this month, were fired for chasing down and holding a different shoplifter one day later.

The Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS), a military payroll facility in Ohio, has told at least 62 of its employees that they will be terminated for having bad credit, reports WKYC. Troy Marshall, a 17-year veteran at the DFAS and one of the people being fired (incidentally, he’s also the president of a union that expanded jobs at the DFAS five years ago), told WKYC that he handles Social Security numbers and maiden names, but nothing else. “We are people. We are not just numbers. We are not just credit reports… Look at the whole person.”

Here’s a testimonial from a former Bank of America customer assistance employee. She was fired on Monday for offering repayment plans to too many customers, even those who “deserved” the 29.99% APR for making late payments. After hearing her story, you might conclude that this job was never a good fit for her skills. The next time you run up against a dead-sounding CSR, though, remember that people like Jackie don’t make for profitable collections department employees, which is why they don’t stick around for long.

Buried in the controversy surrounding the exit of consumer reporter George Gombossy from the Hartford Courant was his article that looks at complaints against mattress company Sleepy’s. We though this bit of wisdom from Sleepy’s COO was worth repeating:

A report from New York investment firm Sanford Bernstein says that Best Buy will be eliminating 1,000 assistant manager positions and demoting 8,000 senior sales associates to regular sales positions that would pay 25 percent to 50 percent less than their current salary — causing some to compare them to Circuit City.

Macy’s is slaying 7,000 positions from its payrolls. No news about any store closing so far. Things are not looking good for retail stores with large stores in the physical universe these days. Economy = asteroid, creating large dust cloud over planet so the sources of food for the dinosaurs dries up, which is very sad for the massive reptiles, but then it creates space on the food chain for small furry mammals to thrive. Cockroaches, too, though. [Marketwatch] (Photo: u2acro)

Borders’ has fired their CEO and replaced him with an Amazon Kindle. Ok, not really. They’ve replaced him with “Ron Marshall, a private equity executive with experience turning around ailing companies.” Good luck, Ron. Remember, reading is FUNdamental! [NYT]

If you’re still on the fence about whether to spend your stimulus check, pay off debt with it, or stock up on ramen noodles, this checklist may help you decide. Some of the tips are pretty unnecessary—”your job duties are marginalized” and “your company plans to move to a smaller building” shouldn’t be hard to decipher. It never hurts to remind yourself about some of the signs of an impending downsize, however.

Usually our shoplifter stories focus on being detained illegally or held at knifepoint by a rabid senior greeter who demands receipts*, but Target in Milwaukee toes the line when it comes to dealing with suspected theft. That’s why they fired a retired cop (warning: video) who stopped a teenager he saw stealing liquor for the second time in a month. He told her he’d seen her take rum a few weeks before and asked her what was in her bag this time. She showed him. He called her father. Target fired him because the store policy is that only certain managers can intercept shoplifters. We admire his attention to detail and desire to help, but we’re glad to see a Big Box retailer following its own policy.

Best Buy is on the offense, launching an internal witch hunt to unmask the “rogue employees” responsible for exposing Geek Squad’s pervasive culture of porn pilfering. Their first victim is the Geek Squad supervisor of the Santa Clarita store, one of the only Best Buy locations whose former employees were quoted in recent articles, print as being a center for porn pilfering.