Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Day Two...

It's almost been 48 hours since I've had my last cigarette. It feels like it's been an eternity and a millisecond all at the same time. I have never in my life wanted something as bad as I want a cigarette. BUT I know that the first puff of that cigarette would immediately be something I regretted. I've fallen off this wagon before, I've tried to quit smoking more than I really care to admit. So I decided that this time around I wouldn't tell anyone I was quitting until I had actual been smoke free for a period of time, yeah, that worked out. Mr. Ski brought up that maybe I wasn't telling people because I didn't want to be held accountable and I agree for the most part. I'm usually not the type of girl to get worked up about failing. I consider failing a part of life, I've never been super competitive or even that great of a team player, by saying that I'm not saying I don't like to win...I do. But I also tend to choose activities based on how likely I am to succeed. For instance, I was a swimmer in high school. It's basically an individual sport with a few relay races thrown in every once in awhile. I am confident in my ability as a swimmer, ask Mr. Ski he will tell you that I usually don't pass up an opportunity to chastise his "butterfly" stroke when we're goofing around in a pool. I knew that this was my sport unlike track, tennis, and volleyball. Those other sporting attempts were just further proof of my lack of both hand/eye coordination and a love for running. Wow...how's that for a tangent. All that to say...I do not want to fail at quitting smoking this time.

Anyways day 2...I've been breathing clean air for almost 48 hours and apparently by 72 hours all of the nicotine is officially out of your body. Now, that doesn't mean I'm in the clear, the mental effects are still there. The daily associations are still there. But I can do this. I am stronger than cigarettes or the desire. I still want them, but I know that this is for the best. I am on the right track, I am making the healthy decision, I will one day not want cigarettes, I will succeed in this endeavor, I am smoke-free.