Caption This!

Caption This! is a place for engineers to test their wit. Each week the CR4 team will post an interesting or amusing engineering picture. We're looking for your best captions in the comments below.
Got an image that you'd think would amuse the community? Submit the photo (contact button below) and we'll post it!*

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 7:18 PM

Funny, My recent Ex-wife just wiped out her 2000 Chevy Cavalier, doing about 70 miles per hour on a back road, trying to get to work in the early a.m. hitting a large deer. When we were married, I always bitched about her driving skills, too fast always.. Many tickets and driver responsibility fee's to the state of Michigan. The deer she hit totaled her car, pushed the hood to the cowl, bent the front sub frame, broke many components of the front suspension, but it never touched her windshield, it flew right over her car. If she was doing the speed limit, as low as that cavalier sat, that deer would have gone through the windshield. I don't bitch about her driving now.. because I don't have to pay for it, and my kids still have a mom.

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How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life. --CAPTAIN KIRK, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/23/2017 3:15 PM

Then again, the deer killed the Cavalier in return.

__________________
( The opinions espressed in this post may not reflect the true opinions of the poster, and may not reflect commonly accepted versions of reality. ) (If you are wondering: yes, I DO hope to live to be as old as my jokes.)

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 9:22 AM

Although the 'bad years' really focus around the sad realization that Clarkson was NOT 'playing an Archie Bunker style character' on Top Gear, that he actually WAS the same belligerent, racist jerk on or off the camera. It was also sad to see how badly Mays and Hammond were afflicted with 'Stockholm Syndrome' now that we realize that their lines covering for and defusing his nasty comments WEREN'T scripted banter from characters, but the two of them actively trying to save the shot from getting ashcanned for being too offensive.

Sorry for the rant, I still miss the old Top Gear show. The retool screwed up the host chemistry by making it a duo. The trio format was great: it was three stooges(1), with the position of Top Stooge able to shift between them, generally Clarkson, as the biggest and loudest, but often to Hammond when clever thinking was the order of the day, and occasionally to May, when patience was the key to victory. By having three, the 'comic abuse' and pranks could flow in any direction and we could see then as 'a bunch of good mates who get along despite not always liking each other.' With a duo, you don't get the moments where they can team up against the third, and all you see is the competitiveness and subtle aggression(2). It also didn't help that the show lost its subtle satire undertones with the retooling, that was the best part(3).

Notes:

Not to be confused with The Three Stooges (formerly of Ted Healy and his Stooges), here the term is used in its 'generic' form: "One who knowingly allows himself or herself to be used for another's profit; a dupe." (from Wictionary)

It did not help that they set the duo up as Loud, Obnoxious American vs. Quiet, Reserved Brit. The Americans who loved the old Top Gear were generally not that appreciative of the Loud American character; that's why they were watching a British 'car show' in the first place, to get AWAY from those 'motorheads' that are the focus of almost every American 'car show.'

I never 'got' the subtle satire of the show until I saw the 'caravan' road challenge. Watching them get their ingredients for the meal challenge from a gas station convenience store, and seeing them pick up motor oil for 'cooking,' finally let it sink in that this was a COMEDY show, and they were just being VERY subtle with most of the jokes.

__________________
( The opinions espressed in this post may not reflect the true opinions of the poster, and may not reflect commonly accepted versions of reality. ) (If you are wondering: yes, I DO hope to live to be as old as my jokes.)

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

Location: In the bothy, 7 chains down the line from Dodman's Lane level crossing, in the nation formerly known as Great Britain, and now disconnecting ["brexit" - ugh] as Little England and Wales (not too sure about Wales bit, either). Kettle's on.

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 10:17 AM

Salesman to customer: "It is a Cavalier, but it is also a utility vehicle. I call it the Swiss Army Knifetm of cars. Everywhere you look there are add on dual purpose "accessories". There is a rag as the gas cap that can be used to wipe your windows, a removable driver seat that looks exactly like a lawn chair, and the convertible top that can be used as a tarp ... It even has a Mercedes designed bread oven strapped to the side of the engine!"

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"Why do things that only happen to stupid people keep happening to me?" Homer Simpson

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 11:44 AM

Why yes there is a maintenance agreement. If you dig around under the spare tire you will find bits of twine, wire, a partial roll of duct tape, and some perfectly good zip ties in an assortment of sizes.

Absolutely free of charge.

The side mirror also pops off in the rare event you need to signal for help.

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 4:28 PM

I used to turn on my old pickup truck with a large nail lodged between the terminals of the ignition switch. The starter was foot switch so all had had to was reach under the edge of the dash and push the nail into position.

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/17/2017 4:32 PM

We were riding our bicycles along an abandoned highway when we came upon a fork in the road. Embedded in one of the tar patches was a piece of flatware. Was one of the road workers making a joke or was it someone else? And who would notice but a cyclist?

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/24/2017 2:08 PM

It was a holiday. Nothing was open. I stopped at a convenience stare and bought a Cup O' Noodles. I'm sitting in my van wondering how I'm going to eat it. I rummaged around the storage bin and found a couple corn dog skewers. "Aha! Chopsticks!" I said.

Re: Caption This for 2/17/17

02/26/2017 1:45 PM

I had a car where the steering wheel wasn't bolted on. If I didn't want someone to steal the car I took the wheel with me.

We would be cruising the drag and I would pull the wheel of and pass it around to other people in the car. Sometimes we would have Chinese fire drills where someone would steal the wheel and we would run around the car and place it back on just before the traffic light changed.