Election hangover

November 8, 2012

The house was strangely quiet yesterday. Not a single robocall begging for our vote, not a single ad on television recounting what a terrible, terrible person Ben Cayetano must be.

The silence was deafening.

For a while there, it seemed like a discussion with the missus might be the only way to counter the lack of noise that engulfed our abode. Luckily, though, the evening news came on and we were treated to a bunch of commercials about asthma, heartburn, gas, psoriasis, bloating and insomnia.

Judging by the regular advertisers on the news, one can only imagine the average viewer: a poor wheezing fellow wide awake with an acidy, scratchy stomach whose day is punctuated by gaseous explosions.

For a little while we were almost missing those wonderful attack ads that show just how low our politicians will go to get a vote. Almost . . .

But, then we remembered that the drug industry's ads are designed to make you think you are sick and need their products. The political industry's ads are designed to show us just how sick they are.

In an ideal world, Gas-X would be a required treatment for politicians. Certainly that kind of treatment for politicos - mixed with a little truth serum - would go a long way toward relieving our heartburn and insomnia.