Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration. You never actually see Santa, only his “assistants.” Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire. Santa doesn’t really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do ...

When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.” Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?” Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog? Brandon: I give up. Trey: Frostbite. Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Mark: Dunno. Why? Josh: Because he had ...

What do you call a three legged donkey? A wonky donkey! What’s a dog’s favourite carol? Bark, the herald angels sing What do you give a dog for Christmas? A mobile bone What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas Quacker. Q. Why was Cinderella no good at football?A. Because her coach was a pumpkin. ...

When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas. Dear Santa If you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.My mother told me to write to you and say thanks for the train set. My dad plays with it all ...

What kind of music do elves like best? “Wrap” music! How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders! What is the favorite food of elves? Answer: “Elf”-aghetti! How did elves climbed up to the top of Santa’s Castle? Answer: Using an “Elf”-evator. ...

The funniest face looked out at me From a silver ball On the Christmas Tree.At first I thought It was Santa’s elf, But I looked again and It was just myself. A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those ...

What does Frosty like to put on his icebergers? Chilly sauce! What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle. What do you call a snowman in the tropics? Where do snowmen go to dance? Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? A: Owlgebra. Q: What do you call a snowman with a six pack? A: ...

What kind of bird can write? A. A pen-guin What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ? A. Santa Clues! What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? A. It’s Christmas, Eve. Q: Name the child’s favorite Christma king? A: A stocking. Q: What do call Santa when he stops moving? A: Santa Pause! How ...

“Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.” If you see a fat man… Who’s jolly and cute, wearing a beard and a red flannel suit, and if he is chuckling and laughing away, while flying around in a miniature sleigh with eight ...