I am a man 66 years old. I live in AZ. I am recovering from to hip surgeries, and was in desperate need of help. I called the agency, and they sent me a woman who was very helpful. Suddenly they called me up and said this lady would not be able to come any more because of a change in her schedule. She was my caregiver for a whole year. I said o.k., but asked if I could contact her or send her a card to tell her how nice she was. The answer was "ABSOLUTELY NOT". "YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY OUTSIDE CONTACT WITH A HOME CAREGIVER". I was not happy with this, but I said fine, if that's the rules that's the rules. They then sent me a woman who came four times. One day they called me a said that they had to remove this woman from another home because of problems, and would I mind if they sent me someone new. I said o.k., so they sent me another woman. Over a 3 month period we developed a SEXUAL relationship which SHE initiated, but I participated in. Hey I'm not angel, but I'm still a man. We had each other phone numbers and talked back and forth. I called her, and she called me. She is a C.N.A., and would come over to my home after work at 10 o'clock at night, and would stay for hours. I told her she had to be careful, because she could get into trouble big time because she was violating a lot of rules. Then one night when she was suppose to come over she didn't show up. So naturally I was worried. The next day I called her, and left a message. She did not respond. So I tried again, and she had blocked my number. I called the agency, and told the general manager what was going on. She told me that this was a serious violation. She said she would report this to the corporate headquarters, which she didn't because I called them, and asked them. She also informed me that the woman had just quit. I waited about a week, and called them again. This time, and I don't want to sound paranoid, but I believe my call was being recorded. I said that I still needed help, but not to send a woman. So they sent me a man who came once, and never came again. Also the agency has never called again. Well that's my story. I could contact a lawyer, and I think this incident had to be reported. Finally, I would appreciate any input from anyone on this. Thank You for reading this. J.

3 Answers

You had relations with this woman, they made the mistake of sending a guy,when you should have been dropped, they realized their mistake and dropped you. Case closed. By the way,they dropped you to protect themselves against the aforementioned legal issues.

I apologize if this seems paranoid, but were you giving Elly any money, any access to any of your accounts?

There's a reason why she abruptly terminated an intimate relationship which she initiated, and my first thought was that she had something in mind other then a conjugal relationship.

I wouldn't doubt that your call was recorded, and I wouldn't doubt that Pam's right. I don't think this agency will work with you again.

You think the incident should be reported - to Home Instead? To the police? I don't see any evidence of a crime unless she cleaned you out financially.

You, Elly and the agency are the only parties with standing to have been affected. Elly's gone, the agency probably won't work with you, and unless you've been financially fleeced, it seems as though you actually did benefit in more ways than one.

I think this could be a good learning lesson for you. While an intimate relationship might be therapeutic in some ways, it's obviously affected your ability to get care from this agency.

Contact a lawyer for what? You were a willing participant. The agency probably fired her and reported the incidents to the state. Following that, they will drop you like a hot potato due to legal issues.

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