Life in the 21st Century

Anyone who wants to write, especially on the internet, is supposed to have a thick skin. Criticism, and dealing with it, is something everyone accepts as a fact of life. Unfortunately, I don’t have that thick skin. Not only I am afraid of criticism but I’m also afraid of being afraid of criticism.

Sometimes Google provides the most appropriate answers to the strangest question. One night I typed “Why does criticism destroy me?” into the machine. The very first result was Proverbs 13:18 from the Bible:

If you ignore criticism your will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept correction, you will be honored.

Wow! What a way to powerfully inhibit creativity and social change. Here I found a new perspective. I was raised on the Bible and, for sure, I don’t want to to end up in poverty and disgrace. But then, which criticism do you live by to prevent this disintegration into poverty and disgrace? I was seven years old when I was hit with a leather strap for talking in school. Then in high school, I was told I would never be successful in life because I was “too quiet”. There’s no way to win this game. I know, I’ve spent fifty years trying.

The second Google result in my experiment was a quote on the website of psychologist Dr. Bill Crawford.

Constructive Criticism = An OxymoronCriticism can be effective when there is something that must be destroyed or dissolved, but it is capable only of harm when there is something to be built. -Adapted from Carl Jung

I’m inclined to agree with Carl Jung. Do you notice how you feel when someone says, “Can I offer you feedback about that?” You can feel the enthusiasm for your project sink even though nothing critical has yet been said.