Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why Not Just Die?

What the fuck do I have to live for now?!?!?!! I've been trying to think for a good few days now, what I have to look forward to in life.... and for the past few days, I've come up with aboso-fucking-lootly nothing!!!!! Man, I fucking hate my stupid fucking job now, its the stupidest bullshit in the fucking world dude! Like I was so damn close to walking out 2day,,, just too much stupid shit thats not my fault or problem, and I get bitched out for it, and honestly I'm fucking sick of it! I do exactly what they fucking tell me all the time, and it ususally runs good, but someone else will fuck something else up and for some reason I get the shit for it. So anyway, Fuckign working is driving me fuckign nuts!!! So I booked some time off to go home to PEI for Jeff's wedding,,, but I'm too fucking broke to afford the plan ticket,,, so I'm stuck in Edmonton for the week and a half I have off.... So I figured, hey, lets ask Teri if I can go to BC with her(to which she asked me a while ago,) so I did, and just today she sends me this message about how I don't care about her, and how I never do anything for her and stuff.... So that leaves me with........ Fucking nothing... so ya know what, I don't fucking care.... Not about her, not about my job , or money or anything... I just don't fucking care!!!! I couldn't care less if i got fired, or if we got kicked out of our house, or fuckign anything for that matter,,, I just dont give a fuck about anything, so whatever.... I'm fucking done with this shit,,,, If Teri thinks I don't care about her, and she doesn't want to see me for a week or 2,,,, Fine, Obviously I'm always the idiot that does everything wrong,,, I should have just told her that from the fucking beginning.... Sorry Teri, but You don't want to go out with, I'm just an asshole, your better off just forgetting about me now.... Seriously.... Shes going to leave me, which she should, I mean, shes told me before that I'm not right for her,,, But I'm not right for anyone... Like theres just no match for me,, I'm meant to be alone in life for ever and ever!... SO you know what, I hope she does find the perfect man for her,, because obviously its not me!! I can tell her I love (which I have, and I DO!) but it doesnt matter.... Nothing I fucking do anymore matters to anyone.... If I died today, no one would even notice.... Why not just die!?!?!