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I AM Present

Thursday, January 19, 2017

In the bi-polar like exhilirated-angst diary of a 50-something God-seeking loony, my latest revelation about self and Self is the best yet!
I know...each time I hit on the 'latest', it feels like IT is the most profound and life-changing. Which it’s often appeared to be upfront – but then t seems to fade into the whole and the next onion layer starts slowly making it's way into the conscious for recognition. I guess this is the way with all change.

Except this is a really important piece of the total puzzle for me currently. I believe I’ve just cracked through to an important layer of myself and self-understanding. Perhaps the one that’s kept me confounded for about a dozen years or more but which has existed for my entire lifetime!

My confidence took a severe dive after the 6 month Satanic attack and etheric lockdown. Yet, the gift that the experience gave me -which has continued to this day - is to see and live each day as if it’s the last. To live each day as if there was no other. And with it to know that each day is an entirely new beginning on the consciousness adventure back to God’s heart we are all on.

Yet, as all my experiences have come and gone, leaving all of their indelible marks upon my psyche, they have not and cannot touch my God Self. For THIS is the station of my true identity; the real me. As it is for all of you. We only have the inner conflict we all have because we keep identifying with the inauthentic (aka ego forces) aspects of ourselves, being fooled into be-lie-ving this IS our true selves.
We lose ourSelves in this little self nonsense instead of being able to hold to our God within throughout our day and whatever it brings. Or as I like to say: instead of steering your ship's rudder and following in the 'wake' of God. Yes I know it's easier said than done for we are still striving, not being permanently anchored in Him.

Though we are wiser now, are we not? We have been through our respective mills and been ground up into fine powder in the process. Or to use another analogy: we’ve been the steel that’s been tempered by God that His master metal works of art may be birthed.

So I share this little bit of me in the hopes that perhaps a single soul might be moved to a new understanding of their own Selves.

Over the past nine or ten days I’ve had three major things revealed to me about my little self nature. I can thank no one but God for this, of course. I’m eternally grateful.
It came forth into my conscious mind as and when He decided it would. And not before. And yes, I’ve had related thoughts and feelings close to this over the past few years, but never quite got it like this.

It started the beginning of last week after watching Harald Vella Kautz talking about loving ourselves as ‘the way out’. A very authentic and God-committed being is he, imo.
Something he said triggered me and I wondered whether my struggle to know, own and love my self entirely was because of a particular split off aspect of me that was doing it’s own thing on the negative astral. Like an aspect of me that I’d rejected somehow and it had split off and developed and maintained it’s own identity and that IT was the thing that has been resisting me and me fighting it for so long. The thing that's appeared to be the internal ongoing conflict of mine.

I mused over this very long and hard. Yes, many of us have split aspects of ourselves due to our various traumas in our early lives. Some call the result soul fragments. Then there are those more severe aspects that turn into their own identities, like altes, that are deliberately created by MKUltra programming of various types at places like schools. Then there's other engineered programmes for easier control of targeted individuals on planet, in addition to collective mind control programming and methods to keep humanity separated from itself..and so it goes. All resulting in suppressed parts of our real selves at best and split off aspects of ourselves, at worst. Disconnection being the result.

Anyway, I realized then and there that yes, there was one split off aspect of me or even more than one that was dangling around somewhere ‘out there’ on the astral. And that this/these have been causing me a whole lot of heartache and all sorts of unwanted openings to (inner) places and conditions that were limiting and troublemaking and that I did not want at all. And that I'd been going about trying to know in an ass about face manner.
It took me a few days to digest the depths of this. And the damage these disconnected aspects had wrought on my life. I also kept seeing them as dangling from me, yet far away from me – and hanging by just a thread. Connected to me, but hardly so.

A few days later I asked my TATA (God within) about this and for confirmation and its link to loving self. I began a practice of talking to all my ego parts: my inner child, adult and parent, asking for their forgiveness and had some startling responses and feelings which led me to feel I was on the right track.

Today, a few days later again, I’ve had yet another revelation in piecing this psycho spiritual jigsaw puzzle together. That my Inner Adult – the major Critic of my life – was the actual one I’d invested the biggest amounts into rejecting and dismissing.
That that was my mother aspect. So I did to it what I’ve done with my relationship with my mother (which is a non relationship). I’d rejected it outright and it was angry. It wasn’t being acknowledged nor heard by me. Let alone nurtured and loved.

So I came back to the topic of ‘loving Self as the gateway to serving others'[as EM/HS recently described it] with TATA. How on earth could I ever hope to feel unity with and for others if I myself was a disparate mess of separated ‘aspects’? What a joke! No, not a cruel joke played on my by God. But a joke i played on myself as some type of personal defence strategy for survival in the world.

If only I knew two or three years ago what I now know with utter conviction...*sigh*...but no use crying over spilt milk, as it’s said. I know it now, today, and that’s also good enough.

I think this loving Self story cannot be underestimated, as I've said before. Because in this state as fully integrated beings in God, we are no longer striving, aspiring. We are just BEING fully who and what we already are.

Also, ‘Trinity’ has been on my mind ever since. The word. I want to rename my youngest cat Trinity or call something Trinity. And rename myself for my true name, in the process (which is not Trinity). But the word Trinity's been made manifest ☺. I’m seeing three’s of all sorts of things...everywhere. Is the Holy Trinity trying to message me?

Wherever I’ve been and even at home, in addition to the actual number, I’m also seeing threes through the nature kingdom: three Egyptian geese, another type of local bird, and yesterday three pigeons. Apart from other things making appearances in threes.

In between, it's been all colour of roses that have been appearing in my consciousness recently. I even felt impulsed to buy rose essence to use. Maybe it's as simple as Nada wanting to share something...but why such a strong 'rosy' emphasis then?
I've also just been impulsed to make contact with a company with that name in it. And reading signs further, there's another synchronicity and sign there...but I can't quite talk about it yet.

*****

I forgot how religious I was in my late teens and twenties about authentic reggae protest music.
It was only through a friend's older sister I got to know about these brilliant artists - many who'd moved to the United Kingdom. Some still here with us on planet and others not. Amongst them is poet Linton Kwezi Johnson, Misty n Roots, exceptional Burning Spear and Black Uhuru:

I used to boogy my butt off to this, one of my favourites BU at a club you could be arrested at just for being there as a White mixing with other races in the 80's here.

PEARLS OF WISDOM

From Heavenletter #164

To Great Wonder

'...our vision and truth will be inseparable, for it is My vision that will be yours.

Wouldn't you rather see through My eyes than your nearsighted ones?

Wouldn't you rather use My heart and My breath? The truth is that My heart and My breath are what are and what you have been using. Partly. You have none of your own. Your heart beats through Mine and I breathe your breath.'

New Era Relationship : The Q & A Of Intimate Intelligence

DNA awakening and spiritual/consciousness expansion are reliant on our emotional intelligence (EI) for growth. Our intimate relationships perfectly mirror the work that we’ve done, as well as what still needs doing towards greater integration and balance within. [E]motion (energy in motion) is our prime navigational tool. Here's a space to ask and explore everything you ever wanted to know on how to do relationships that return you to your own power...

(I will be going into some of these Q's in depth in upcoming relationship articles, as this space only provides for short responses)

Q:Our relationship seems to have entered the mundane;we no longer inspire each other, we take each other for granted,are not open or honest in the way we once were with each other and distance and misstrust seems to have set in. What can we do?

A:Because you haven't said any different, I'm assuming there are no external factors that may have contributed to your current relationship experience. Road blocks like these can help us reconnect in a more authentic way. First to ourselves and then to our partners. Perhaps our initial connection with each other was based on the other making us feel ‘safe’ and ‘complete’. And when we have that we often become comfortable and complacent. Which often invites stagnation in in turn. We need to ask: ‘Where are the places within where we don’t feel safe and complete. And why?’. As this is what motivated our need to be filled up externally in the first instance. You may want to blame something or someone outside of yourself for what is occurring. But the best contribution you can make to your relationship healing now is to explore where and when you stopped feeling safe, trusting and started feeling incomplete in your history. Once aware, memories trapped in your emotional bodies that have created such imbalances can begin being brought up for release. This will eventually lead to a more ‘whole’ relationship response by you. Here you'll have more of you to bring to a relationship and less needs to be filled by another. New era relationships avoid power imbalances, so having a partner who is equally responsible for him/herself emotionally is crucial to its success.

Q: How much damage can resentment (from one or both partners) create in a relationship? And is this repairable if it has been going on for many years?

A: Resentment is like a cancer that can eat away at the core of all that remains good in your togetherness. If you don’t understand it and allow it. It produces numerous symptoms, ranging from anger to withdrawal. As with much else that creates relationship havoc, it is a result of dishonesty and mistrust - mostly of the Self. Yet, to heal it is necessary to explore and purge this slow-cooking (e)motion at cause to ensure the relationship's forward movement. Rather than managing a symptom or two only to have resentment return down the line. If this happens, you'll know the root cause was not reached sufficiently. Additionally, acknowledging, separating, returning and fully owning which issues belong to whom, energetically-speaking, is the start of honouring the Self. Because the chief relationship that runs our external ones is the inner one we have first with our Selves.

Fan-tastic Followers

About Me

A decades-long preparation is about to pay off...I can feel it!
I believe the future of all of our choosing is about to begin.
I've never been convinced that being positive and performing rituals which comfort can alone answer the requirements of what's energetically needed to free ourselves from the 3rd Dimension/Fear Matrix. And the downside is these sometimes serve to keep us in that holding pattern of denial or idealism. I think of myself as an optimistic realist! Especially when I real-ised the work involved in growing ourselves.
To answer this need I developed EmoAlchemy - a variation of the ancient mystery school teachings. Like the alchemy of old which involved the transmutation of base metals into gold, taking full advantage of the current Ascension offerings requires the turning of base emotional states into (the gold of) higher frequency ones. It means constantly reviewing, releasing and integrating imbalanced parts of yourself in order to have a physically-successful effect on your biology, subsequently 'awakening' your dormant DNA.
And part of what we're needing to survive Earth's rising frequencies at this time.

Hollow/Inner Earth Map

See Forum Below

Hollow Earth

En-Trance

INNER EARTH Q & A FORUM:

This year I've received loads of questions about the inner earth humans, life in their cities and their relationship to us. Of course, there have been some who have told me outright that I need to get myself to the nearest nuthouse asap! :-) But seriously, rather than relay what I've learned through an article, I thought it would be great to facilitate direct dialogue between you via channelled responses.To get the ball rolling, send your question/s so everyone can benefit. If you're thinking about it, chances are so is someone else!

Q (KN): Do the inner earth beings need my help?

A

Q (SK): How on earth can humans survive in the inner earth? Isn't it too hot, and dark?

A (Bohar): Your governments have farmed out so-called 'official lines' to top scientists and geophysicists to convey to the public on such questions. This is mostly the (dis)information that makes the mainstream media and helps decide public opinion on this and other topics. Yet, there's a growing group of independent scientists who understand and accept the earth as being a hollow entity. Rather than hot malten magma at the earth's core, heat is generated by our sun. You will find our Agarthan crystalline cities hundreds of miles into the interior. Powered by an inner earth sun, it creates both perfect warmth and light for our sustenance. Gravity, as you know it, ceases to exist - which accounts for our living in a timeless/ageless existence.Close to the surface entrances are a system of caverns. All manner of non 5th Dimensional beings reside there and yes, it is dark and dank in places.Q (Jules): How do we get there and what mode of transport do you use?

A (Bohar):Numerous surface folk have tried to access the inner earth via various means over the past centuries. However, recently we've had to seal entrances in greater measure to prevent harm being inflicted on us by surface dwellers- mostly shadow government groups. Those that do come here either have a soul contract to do so or come due to to the upstanding nature of their character, which warrants access.

We, ourselves, get around via our underground monorail vehicles or via our space shuttles when we leave this sphere. Here we make use of various surface entrances/exits including the North and South Poles.Q (Jules): I'm studying photography. Is it possible to capture images of your world with our digital camera technology, should we ever be able to visit?

A (Bohar):We would only need to make some minor adjustment to your cameras to make them inner earth-friendly. We would also make another camera adjustment on your departure. Other than that, we see no problem with capturing images of our world, much as you do on the surface.