8 Mind-Bogglingly Dumb Things Actually Said About Gay People

By
Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo

Feb 27, 2014

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People  public people who actually have other people pay attention to them  say a lot of dumb shit, a lot of the time. Below is a small sampling of ridiculous things said about gay people, and rather than just retorting, what you just said that was some dumb shit, weve strengthened our response in the form of GIFs from our favorite show about politics: Parks and Rec. You are all welcome. ..|.. ^__^ ..|..

1. If the California Supreme Court had allowed the gays to marry, then anybody could have gotten married. You could have married a duck. -Bill OReilly, The OReilly Factor

I have had, like, the biggest crush on this duck in fifth grade and this is SUCH good news. Its so rare to get laws passed for duck marriage equality in this day and age. For real, though: Drawing a comparison between humans loving other humans and humans wanting to put their penis in a duck is a LITTLE BIT OF A STRETCH NO PUN INTENDED SORRY.

Bodily fluids are bodily fluids. Risk in all of them, gay or otherwise, and its a well-known fact that kids just love bodily fluids. PS: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GAY BOWEL SYNDROME, YOU WEIRDO.

4. In history, there has never been a civilization that has embraced homosexuality and has turned away from traditional fidelity, traditional marriage, and traditional child-rearing and has survived. - Pat Robertson, (WTF does Pat Robertson do, tho)

*Entire country of Greece waves hello*

5. "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters." - Anita Bryant, Singer

Well, we actually think that human beings, as a general rule, deserve rights, but like, youre right on one count: We will lose our shit if people who bite their nails start to get rights.

Kristin Russo lives in New York City and holds a master's degree in gender studies. Dannielle Owens-Reid lives in Los Angeles where she rehearses stand-up comedy in front of her cat. Together they run the website everyoneisgay.com. Do you have questions or topic requests for Kristin and Dannielle? Ask them HERE.