Ever imagined what it would be like to be alive for centuries? For Tom Hazard – it’s all he’s ever known. You see, he may look like an ordinary 41 year old, but he’s actually been alive since the year 1581. He’s travelled all over the world and seen it change, crossing paths with key historical figures including the likes of Sir William Shakespeare. But now, working as a history teacher in London, his condition has become a dull reality, and he craves an ordinary life.

His struggle is understandable. The Albatros Society (made up of other people like him) controls him like a puppet, making him change his identity every eight years in order to stay alive. And, under no circumstances, must he ever fall in love.

* * *

How To Stop Time is a heart-warming and thought provoking novel about how it can take a lifetime to truly learn how to live. It’s simultaneously heartbreaking, dealing with such raw and painful emotions, as it is wonderfully uplifting and inspiring.

It would appear there’s no ends to Haig’s romantic and vivid imagination, and the seamless transitions between the past and the present day are a tribute to his skills as a storyteller.

From the lively market streets of Elizabethan England, to the glitz and glam of the Parisian jazz bar where Tom met F Scott Fitzgerald, Haig’s use of historic details engulfs the senses, fully immersing you in previous centuries. My favourite part of the novel was the blossoming love story between Tom and Rose in the late 1500s. No word of a lie, it made my heart burst and I absolutely adored this extract:

And she placed the lute beside her on the bed and kissed me and I closed my eyes and the rest of the world faded. There was nothing else. Nothing but her. She was the stars and the heavens and the oceans.

SWOON. Heart official burst.

However, Haig doesn’t gloss over the painful details that Tom saw first-hand either. The witch hunts. The plague. The wars. There’s no denying it, they were important chapters of history and, rightly so, they feature heavily in the book. Difficult reading at times? Yep, but all vital to Tom’s story.

Ah Tom. I love his character and I think you will too. Haig writes in a way that makes you root for Tom from the very first page, somehow allowing us to empathise about a condition that we will never be able to experience.

But, like every fictional character, Tom has his downsides. Constantly worrying about the past and future, the inability to see what’s right in front of him, the fear of letting anyone get even slightly close to him. Personality traits that can all be experienced by someone with a mental illness. When I went through depression, I experienced similar feelings to Tom, and I find it so refreshing that Haig is spreading awareness through How To Stop Time. It’s the perfect book to give those who haven’t suffered an insight into mental illness.

Haig gets the complexity of human emotions. The light and dark. The intensity of the dark, how it can seem so overbearing that living with it becomes normal. But then when the light comes, you need to hold on to it, savour it, seek out – because those are the moments worth living for.

Honestly, explaining to someone about your mental health issues is the hardest thing in the world, and to me, this book beautifully tells the tale of someone riddled with anxiety and depression, exactly how he feels and exactly how he comes over it.

When I say Haig gets it, I mean he gets it. Mental health – the inexplicable pain of feeling like you’re stuck in your own body. But also, the freedom of learning to let go of your struggles – the weight off your shoulders you never knew you had. I think that can be proven in my favourite quote towards the end of the book:

And, just as it only takes a moment to die, it only takes a moment to live. You just close your eyes and let every futile fear slip away. And then, in this new state, free from fear, you ask yourself: who am I? If I could live without doubt what would I do? If I could be kind without the fear of being fucked over? If I could love without fear of being hurt? If I could taste the sweetness of today without thinking of how I will miss that taste tomorrow? If I could not fear the passing of time and the people it would steal? Yes. What would I do? Who would I care for? What battle would I fight? Which paths would I step down? What joys would I allow myself? What internal mysteries would I solve? How, in short, would I live?

How To Stop Time has inspired me and I would love to know the books that inspire you. What would you recommend?

Fifty or so years ago, talking about your feelings wasn’t a thing. Like, at all. The post war generation firmly adopted a ‘brush yourself off and get on with it attitude,’ which, in many ways, I respect them for. Some of my great aunties and uncles, who were children of the war, are some of the most emotionally strong people I know.

However, as I’m sure you can imagine, the focus on mental health just wasn’t there. Because it was invisible. I say was. It always has been… always will be.

But, what we have now is the conversation. The conversation that will never stop.

Mental health is being talked about more than it ever has before, and even though there is such a long way to go, it makes me happy to think that for many people, help is being offered.

Help, of course, doesn’t have to be therapy, counselling or even medication. Help can be as simple as someone saying, ‘I know what you’re going through, and I’m here if you need me.’ Trust me, that means more than anything.

Nevertheless, therapy, counselling and medication all have their benefits. I’d know – I’ve used them all!

I’ve had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for my depression. I had it when I was 17 and struggling with depression and anxiety surrounding my A Levels, and also earlier this year, when the pressure I put myself under to be the ‘perfect’ writer was literally crippling me.

CBT is a talking therapy where you address your negative cognitions (thoughts) and learn how to change your attitude to them. It’s all based on the concept that your thoughts, physical, emotional and behavioural reactions are interlinked. Think of it like one big chain. So when you think negatively, you get trapped in a vicious cycle, because your body reacts in a certain way, then that influences how you behave, and so on.

But, with CBT, you learn how to break down your problems into smaller parts and change these negative thought patterns. You learn the difference between helpful and unhelpful thoughts, and the evidence to support them. You do exercises and have assigned ‘homework,’ with the intention that the more you practice changing your thoughts, the easier it will become.

I’d really recommend CBT. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. When you’re stuck in the darkness, all you want is for someone to pull you out and show you the light. You can’t even really comprehend what the light feels like. I remember I couldn’t. But you know that anything is better than the cloud that hangs over your head, your heart, your every move, every day.

And CBT will help you get there. But you’ve got to want to put in the hard work to get better. There are no quick fixes with any mental health condition, and CBT requires time, patience and persistence.

Why am I telling you this? Because even though we talk more about mental health, we don’t talk about it in enough depth. In my opinion, there’s so much fannying about (my favourite phrase) with the whole spreading awareness and starting the conversation about mental health, that the process of recovery is bypassed.

It’s mad though, when you think about it. I can openly say that I’ve had depression, but if I say I’ve been on antidepressants for four years and probably won’t be coming off them any time soon, I know I’ll get judged.

If you read this blog regularly, first of all, LOVE YOU, and second, you’ll know how I feel towards the stigma surrounding antidepressants. It’s ridiculous. We’re encouraged to get help for our mental health, but apparently taking antidepressants is the coward’s way out. “Oh, I’d never take antidepressants, like ever.”

Bollocks my friend, absolute bollocks.

Apologies for the language, I won’t harp on. But I do think that as part of spreading awareness, we need to be 100% real. That doesn’t mean completely opening up to the world and sharing your life story.

For me, being 100% real is not being afraid if I’m vlogging and my anti-depressants just so happen to be in the background. Being 100% real is being proud to openly admit that early last year, I had hypnotherapy to aid exam related anxiety. And my god did it work (another blog will come soon about that – and trust me, there’s no dangling pocket watches or anything like that involved!).

But equally, being real is me admitting that there are things holding be back with my mental health. Or at least trying to. Most nights for the last few months, I’ve had a recurring dream that I’m sitting an exam I know nothing about. I’ve literally got no academic pressure in my life at the moment, but since day one of primary school, I put myself under pressure to be the best. No exaggeration. So, it’s kind of understandable that now when I’m happy, my mind tries to revert back to that pressure.

You might think this is over sharing, Hell, I kind of think this is over sharing. But I want to be honest. I want to share an ongoing journey with mental health. Not just a ‘before’ and ‘after’ shot. There’s no before and after shot with mental health.

Yes I’m better than I was, but I have my ups and downs, and it’s not just smooth sailing.

I also want to be able to say that this is what I do for my mental health. Not just the standard Instagram ‘I have bubble baths and light expensive candles’ bullshit.

Because let’s face it, mental health isn’t pretty, and I’m sure the demon on my shoulder wouldn’t get many likes on Instagram. She ain’t no beauty.

To me, my mental health is like a caterpillar, slowly becoming a butterfly. Imperfect. In the works. But do you know what? I’m rooting for it, whatever it needs to do to become that butterfly. And I hope you are rooting for yours too.

Here’s some musings for you this World Mental Health Day. What do you think about our attitudes to mental health? As a society, are we as accepting as we make out?

Last weekend, my family and I took a cute little day trip to Brighton. My dad and brother, James, support West Bromwich Albion FC, and since the club were playing an away match, me and my mom thought we’d tag along and do a bit of exploring. Considering we’d never been to Brighton before and only had a day to get acquainted with the city – I’m pretty proud of how much ground we covered!

As well as wanting to go somewhere new (I think a regular change of scenery does you the world of good), there was another reason why I was so keen to visit the seaside city.

In my role as a copywriter, I write a lot of travel content and I genuinely can’t count the amount of times I’ve written about Brighton, how it’s a hip and bohemian city etc. etc. But, I’d never actually been there and could only write based on what I’d read from other people. That’s why I was so glad I got the opportunity to go. As well as having a really lovely time with my mom, it was a great learning experience and I feel like I can give a more authentic account of Brighton in my writing.

And so, before I keep you any longer with my witterings – BEHOLD, for here is Brighton!

The Lanes

First on our list was a stroll through the twisting and turning alleyways of the city’s historic quarter – the lovely Lanes.

As the pathways got thinner and the buildings cast a shadow over us, it really did feel like we’d jumped back into some sort of Charles Dickens novel. But of course, in a Charles Dickens novel you certainly wouldn’t find a shop called Choccywoccydoodah!

Choccywoccydoodah is a chocolate lover’s paradise. It kind of reminded me of a real life Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory – you could easily believe that things like the walls and the staircase were edible (but I wasn’t willing to test that theory).

Whilst I managed to (somehow) resist temptation and not buy anything, I loved all of the designer artsy cakes; they were incredible! I really wanted to steal the ‘Til Death Do Us Part’ cake. Intricate writing, glittery red roses and a skull for good measure, it’s edgy AF and would be a proper head turner at an actual wedding… am I right? I don’t know, maybe this is my inner goth child coming out…

We continued walking down the Lanes and were met by a whole range of independent shops, boutiques and unique eateries (with brilliant names – there was a Thai restaurant called The Giggling Squid, I love it!), all of which were decorated outside with pretty pastel coloured bunting.

For lunch, my mom and I were in a sandwichy mood and only happened to stumble across the best sandwich shop in Brighton. Literally – it’s been awarded that title (although I’m not sure who by…). The café, called The Little Shop, was tucked away in one of the Lanes and was run by the loveliest old man who was always full of smiles. Come to think of it, everyone we encountered in Brighton was so friendly – it’s a very happy city!

Anyway, back to lunch. We sat outside (a bit chilly but brilliant for people watching!) and I treated myself to some amazing smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches. *Drools* They were little pieces of heaven in sandwich form. My mom had smoked salmon and egg sandwiches and she too was in sandwich ecstasies (we were clearly in a very salmony mood that day too).

Brighton’s literally oozing with character and charm and while we ate, we enjoyed background music from a busker who was singing and playing bluesy rock on an electric guitar. Seriously, how cool is that?!

I’m conscious I’ve talked a lot about the Lanes, so I’ll wrap it up by saying that we also stopped off in Sugardough Café. It’s super cute and I had the amazing crumbly goodness known as raspberry yum yums (basically shortbread with a raspberry icing inside – sooooo good).

Royal Pavilion

Just five minutes from the Lanes is the Royal Pavilion, an exotic palace built as a gift for King George IV in the early 1900s. It’s a breath-taking combination of British regency and the visual styles of India and China, and is seriously worth getting a picture (or 10) of. Since me and my mom had so much of Brighton that we wanted to see in such little time, we didn’t actually go inside, but if it’s anything like the outside, the inside must be absolutely bladdy gorgeous!

North Laine

Eeeek – this was, without a doubt, my favourite part of Brighton and I could have quite honestly spent an entire day here. North Laine, in a nutshell, is Brighton’s bohemian and cultural quarter. It’s made up of a few streets full of the most quirky, vibrant and eclectic independent shops and eateries you can imagine.

Seriously, it’s got everything. Stalls selling gypsy-like jewellery, vintage clothes, a cinema, art shops, a vegan shoe shop (with the line ‘a treat for your feet if you don’t eat meat’ – why didn’t I think of that?!), a sex shop – EVERYTHANG. Basically if you want to ‘stick it to the man’ and find something unique away from all the huge commercial retail chains, North Laine is the one for you.

If anything, North Laine’s character and flair was reflected the most by the people soaking up the area. Misfits, indie kids, boho babes, goth queens, rock feinds – there was such a mish mash of people, all of whom were unique with their own identity.

Before visiting Brighton, I’d seen a picture of the Komedia building and I knew that, even if I didn’t go inside, I had to see it and get a photo. The Komedia is a comedy, entertainment and music venue and, as you can see, has a pair of legs and red shoes on the roof. I don’t know why I love this so much, I guess it’s because it reminds me of the Wizard of Oz. So when I accidentally stumbled across this in North Laine, I was ridiculously happy.

Side note: I told my mom in the car about the Komedia and she said, “Ooh, that sounds like something rude!” *Sigh*

Street art

If North Laine sounds like your kind of thing, then you’re going to absolutely adore Brighton’s street art. I only saw a fraction of the street art painted across the city, but everything I saw was again, oozing with cool, character and pure, unadulterated passion. It rivals the street art I see by my work in Digbeth, and I envy people who are lucky enough to be able to look at that every single day. I loved all the art I saw, but my firm favourites were the meerkat building (can I have them painted on my future house, please?) and the Wonder Woman #shevotes wall.

Beach & pier

Before the end of the day, we also had a quick walk along the beach and pier. Yep – me and my mom managed to fit a lot into one day! I can’t really say much about these, the pier was very touristy and the beach was having some maintenance work in places. But still, the pier was great to get a photo of and was another thing I was very keen to tick off my list! Even though I’m not big on the whole touristy aspect of it, the pier was lovely for a little walk and a change of scenery. It’s free to enter too – so you can’t argue with that!

* * *

I think it’s safe to say that I have a soft spot for Brighton. Can you blame me though? It’s not every day you find an artsy city brimming with quirk and character, oozing cultural cool and kicking ass with its unstoppable bohemian spirit.

Happy September! I can’t tell you how much I love this time of year. Don’t get me wrong, my heart will forever be tied to summer, but with autumn comes so much to enjoy. Cooler days, long walks, crunchy leaves, cosy nights in by the fire (under my blanket, in full on granny mode) and STRICTLY. Who else loves Strictly Come Dancing? Honestly I’m obsessed, I record the daily BBC2 It Takes Two (all the news and gossip from the show) so I can watch it religiously when I’m back from work. See? OBSESSED.

Anyway, moving on to the point of this post, on Instagram I follow the lovely Laura Jane Williams (@superlativelylj), an ex-Grazia columnist and author of Becoming, and Ice Cream for Breakfast. Ever since I read Ice Cream for Breakfast (side note: go read this, you’ll relate on so many levels and want Laura as your new best friend), I basically became obsessed with her and her kick-ass ‘we all fuck up and that’s completely ok’ attitude to life *inserts hands in the air emoji*.

A few days ago, Laura did a post about something she has made up and called #SelfCareSeptember. This is the idea of committing to ‘active recovery’, following what nourishes your soul and makes you happy, going easier on yourself whilst still doing. It’s about looking within and listening to yourself.

So, I thought I’d join in and make a list of things I am going to do to look after myself as part of my #SelfCareSeptember. With days getting shorter and nights getting darker quickly, mid autumn to winter is a time where I tend to really struggle with my depression. That’s why I thought if I can get into a strong self care routine now, it will better prepare me and staying ‘up’ won’t feel like such an effort. It will be natural and fun.

So, without further ado, here are 10 things that I’ll be doing as part of my #SelfCareSeptember.

1. Continue using my sunrise alarm

I can’t tell you how much this has made a difference to the quality of my sleeping and mood. My Lumie Bodyclock is a wake-up light that gradually turns on and gets brighter during the last 30 minutes of sleep. You basically wake up with the sun (which, if you live in the UK like me, you’ll know that seeing a beautiful sunrise is a rarity!) and are left feeling alert, refreshed and ready to take on the day ahead. It’s typically used for people with SAD and really helps me with mine. So, as the weather gets darker, depressing and generally just crappier, I’ll make sure I use my alarm every day.

2. Exercise

I always thought it was a myth, but it turns out that exercise actually does make you feel good! I’ve recently started seeing a personal trainer called Jack Wright (check out his website and Insta for fitness and awesome recipes!) who is helping me to lose weight, get toned and understand how to use gym equipment properly so I can confidently train by myself in the future.

Side note: we went to college together and I think I’ve said more words to him in 2 weeks of starting this programme than in those 2 years haha!

But yeah, I’m doing an 8 week transformation programme and I’m so so excited. Not gonna lie, I chose to embark on this programme because I was eating crap, getting tubby and frankly – I’m too vain to be tubby. Plus, I’m really keen to have a regular exercise routine as that again will help combat my depression and SAD in the upcoming winter months. So far, I’ve lost 2 ½ lbs in just one week of training with Jack and eating healthier – yay!

3. Eat healthier and learn how to cook

This is very much a work in progress. All my life, I’ve somehow got away with eating shit, not putting on any weight and not feeling too bad after, either. BUT THEN – the clock struck 12 for my 21st birthday and suddenly, my super high metabolism fucked off and left me putting on weight very quickly. I’d eat shit food and, like the rest of the world, I’d feel like a bag of shit after. Therefore, to go alongside my fitness regime, I am working on turning my diet around so that I’m still having delicious meals (and lots of them – this girl loves her food!), but meals that are more nutritious. After all, your body is a temple… and all that.

I’ve never really cooked much (perks of living at home), but this is all changing and I am learning how to cook stuff other than scrambled eggs, toast, bacon and a microwave meal. Pray for me!

4. Go for long walks

Walking is one of my favourite things and where I live is a walker’s paradise (take that, Coolio). I live in Stourbridge which is a town 30 minutes outside of Birmingham and near the countryside. Near, not in – there’s a difference. Anyhoo, I live a five minute drive from the Clent Hills, a beauty spot offering stunning scenery and picturesque views of the Cotswolds, Welsh borders and Shropshire Hills. It’s so lovely and quiet (which is amazing to come back to after working in bustling Birmingham all day) and is perfect for spotting sunsets. Then there’s Kinver which is perfect for cute little canal walks, and the Wyre Forest which I love to explore.

5. Read for fun

It’s not that I don’t read for fun, I love reading and have read so much lately (like Lace – it’s brilliant!). But, me being me and constantly trying to one up myself and progress in some way, I end up putting pressure on myself to finish a book quickly. Literally, yesterday morning I was rushing to read my copy of Cosmo because I wanted to finish it in one sitting. So, you’ve heard it here, this autumn I pledge to just chill out and let myself read books at a human pace. Even if I only get through one in like two months, as long as I’m enjoying it – who cares?

6. Stay committed to my skincare routine

It’s all about the pampering. Having good skin really does make me feel good about myself. I used to be awful and just scrub makeup off with wipes, or even just sleep in it (gross, I know). Now, I religiously use Simple’s cleansing water, day cream and night cream (promise this is not an ad, I just really love their products!). This autumn and winter, I’m going to treat myself to more pamper nights (whilst simultaneously watching Strictly – such fun!) and will invest in some good face and hair masks. Spritz the air with my L’Occitane pillow mist (giving my room all the spa smells) and the job’s a good ‘un.

7. Actively pursue happiness and relaxation

To do this, I’m going to expand my knowledge on Hygge, the Danish concept for embracing warmth, laughter and the little things in life. Demark has been ranked one of the happiest countries in the world and hygge underpins all Danish life. It’s about spending time with family, creating a cosy living space and maximizing how you enjoy your free time. Think of a house with soft fairy lights, cosy blankets, plants, delicious warming food with smells engulfing every room – you get the gist.

8. Do more chilled things with friends

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m a planner. I love to know that I’ve got things to look forward to, but often get bogged down by the pressure of planning amazing days out for me and mis amigas. In reality, friendship isn’t about going on big, expensive days out and some of my favourite memories have been when I’ve just chilled out on the sofa with friends. Last week, my friend Aman and I took her dog for an hour long walk after work, then we went back to her house and literally just lay on her bed gossiping. It was pure bliss. Such a chilled way to unwind from the day.

9. Allowing myself to be unproductive

This links in with the above and is something that I am really working hard on. As a planner, I’m that annoying person who likes to completely fill up all of her time and wants to be 100% productive. However, I’ve found out that trying to be 100% productive just results in me burning myself out. That’s why now, I try to have evenings and weekends where I just chill. Just be. I’m always rushing to do things and progress myself to the next stage (when sometimes, I don’t even know what that bloody stage is), whereas letting myself unwind and my mind quieten down genuinely does me the world of good. Remember those t-shirts that had ‘Frankie says relax’ written across them? Well I’m trying to make that a new mantra to live by!

10. Have something to look forward to every week

You might think that this contradicts the above, but bear with. When I say have something to look forward to, it could just be going to a cosy café with my mom on the weekend. Or having a movie night in my PJs where I wear a face mask and eat copious amounts of chocolate. Or eating a calorific cupcake for breakfast. Particularly in the autumn and winter months, I’ve found that it’s so easy for life to feel dreary and monotonous, so I want to have lots of little things to keep my mood on the up.

What do you do as part of your self care? Is there anything that makes you feel amazing that you’d recommend? x

You’ve just turned 18! Yay, congratulations! You’re now technically an adult (although you may not feel like it now – you certainly don’t feel like it when you hit 21).

Go forth girl and legally drink those Woo Woo cocktails you love so much! But not too many. So far, you’ve dabbled with house parties during college and have royally ‘flopped the sesh’ on many an occasion. I hate to break it to you, but your alcohol tolerance won’t really improve over the next few years. Just accept it, there’s just no changing it but hey, you won’t have to buy loads of drinks on nights out! While I don’t want to give you too many spoilers, all I’m gonna say is that there will be more vomming, you’ll turn up to work hungover a few times (and realise why it’s so stupid to do that) and even make a tit of yourself at your work’s Christmas party, just to top it all off. But hey, that’s what Christmas parties are for.

I don’t think we can go much further without mentioning the boy. The boyfriend. Ahh, your first love. And boy, were you in love. If I remember rightly (because you know as well as I do that your relationship is a bit of a saga – not as bad as Ross and Rachel, but still), you’re currently single and are feeling incredibly sorry for yourself. Being dumped out of nowhere sucks and it literally feels like your world is over – I get it. I was there, you know. But, here’s another spoiler, there is light at the end of the bleary, teary tunnel and your world isn’t over. In fact, it’s only just beginning.

I’m sure you can guess that your dealings with the boyfriend are far from over and you know deep down in your heart how the short term and long term will pan out. But I have hindsight and you don’t. So, I won’t moan about him – I know he makes you ridiculously happy and feel all mushy inside. All I’ll say is girl, stand up for yourself once in a while. The sun doesn’t shine out of his arse and it’ll do you good to grow a teeny-weeny bit of a backbone. Oh, and break ups suit you. Because whilst you feel shit on the inside, you can easily make yourself look like a complete and utter QUEEN on the outside. Put that little pink dress on (you’ll know the one I mean later), curl them locks and you’ll be SLAYING for days.

In between being love’s nauseating young dream (and possibly nightmare), you’re studying for your A Levels and are stressed AF. Nothing new there. Let me assure you, your hard work will pay off and the stress just isn’t worth it. You’re 18, you know you’ve got a job secured for when you leave college and you’re a bit of a clever clogs too (despite what some people insist on telling you – you are clever!). I know you’re a perfectionist and want to prove to everyone what you’re capable of, but Sarah – they’re A Levels. When you start work I promise you that no one gives a shit what you got in your English Lit, Spanish and Psychology. Like really.

With stress has also come depression (boo), and it’s been about one year since you started taking anti-depressants. That’s really nothing to be ashamed of – trust me. I know you want to come off them and feel pressured by a few sources, but there’s 100% no shame in staying on them. It’s better than yo-yoing on and off. Stability and consistency are key for you.

Arghhh, this all got very serious, very quickly, so I’m going to lighten the mood.

Sarah, what the fuck is going on with your eyebrows?

Seriously girl – the thinness is unreal. I get it, you had big bushy sluggy brows at secondary school and you want to counter the current trend of having super thick brows. But Sarah, they’re too thin! I know you won’t listen to me now, but I’m just pointing out that you look constantly surprised and that’s something you’re going to have to live with until you see sense and grow them out *sighs*.

Another thing you may want to take up is exercise. Yes, your metabolism is on FIYAH now and it feels like you can just look at cake and magically lose weight, but unfortunately, this won’t last forever. Exercising regularly now will make it less of a shock when you actually have to exercise to stay slim. But, having said that, don’t turn down free food. Your love for free food at 21 is just as strong as at 18.

And finally, your career. You know you’ll be starting at a marketing and design agency in July as a marketing assistant. First of all, let’s address the haters that are saying you should go to uni and won’t have a good career without a degree. I call bullshit on that, my friend! If you wanted to be a doctor, then yes, go and get your degree. But you’ve always known you want to be a writer and that requires talent, ambition and determination… and not necessarily a degree.

People have mocked you for wanting to be a writer and sadly, they will continue to do it. Not many people, but you know who I’m talking about.

Sarah, you were born to be a writer. You adore your craft and that shines through in your work. Your writing is passionate, considered and bursting at the seams with creativity – and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Above all else, I want you to remember that you’re only 18. Since you were a little kid, you always wanted to be perfect at everything, but it’s only you putting that pressure on yourself. You can be successful and have fun without mentally burning yourself out.

The next few years will go crazy fast, so enjoy them! In between dating fuckboys and useless man children (and writing about them), you’ll become a copywriter (and finally work in Birms – eek!), gain some much-needed self-confidence, buy your dream car, make the most wonderful new friendships and even go on your first ever girls holiday. Eeek! Yes, you’ll make mistakes and yes, I know you’re a perfectionist who hates making mistakes. But in the words of those overly clichéd quotes, life is a journey not a destination. Every mistake you make will help you learn for the future and help shape you into even more of a sassy bitch than you already are.

SO GO GIRL. Seize the day. Seize the D single lady (wehey – sorry, couldn’t resist)! Have a blast. Make memories. Feel yourself getting stronger. And be proud of who you are. You’re the best and you don’t need anyone else’s validation to make you believe that. I believe in you and that’s really all you need.

Okay so I know these kind of posts have been done before, but while the stigma still exists around mental illness and taking anti-depressants, I think it’s important to get what NOT to okay say out in the open. And trust me, people have had no concerns getting their opinions of anti-depressants out in the open to me! I am lucky to be surrounded by such a wonderful support network and it’s only ever a few people outside of these circles that have said these things to me. But yeah, number six is a bit of a shocker!

1. I know that you’re on them… but, I would never take anti-depressants. Like ever.

Oh, well alrightyroo then. That’s very reassuring and supportive. You’ve made me feel really great about myself… said no-one ever. If someone doesn’t personally agree with anti-depressants that’s completely fine – I get that we all have our own opinions and taking tablets is not for everyone. But, if you talk to me inferring that I am doing something incredibly wrong, then frankly, you don’t deserve a minute more of my time. *mic drop*

2. I’d want to solve the problem myself, rather than relying on medication

Depression isn’t a Rubix Cube, Sharon. Funnily enough, it’s not something you can pick up and solve or fix in a matter of minutes. Sometimes, anti-depressants are needed to help put you in the position where you feel mentally strong enough to ‘solve the problem’ yourself. Plus, if someone were on crutches – would you just tell them to throw their crutches in a ditch and walk about until their leg is fixed? Exactly.

3. Anti-depressants just mask the underlying issue

Erm, no they don’t. I’ll jokingly call them my ‘happy tablets,’ but I know it’s not that simple. When you go on anti-depressants, your doctor tells you that anti-depressants work best alongside ongoing counselling or different therapies, and they make it clear they want you off the tablets in the future, if possible. We may be depressed but we’re not stupid.

4. You’ve got nothing to be depressed about

Just because I don’t have the sad sorry life of Fontine in Les Mis doesn’t mean I cannot be depressed. Anyone can suffer from depression, no matter their age, status, wealth – anything.

5. You have to want to get better

And don’t you think that’s why I’m taking anti-depressants? I really don’t know why, but some people genuinely you believe that by taking the tablets, you have given up trying and are throwing the towel in. Yes, really.

6. Wow, you’re XYZ age and you’re on anti-depressants. That’s so bad. You should try and come off them.

Fuck off, Fredrick. This infuriates me every time because I was actually told this by someone and I cared enough to believe and try to change myself. If I could go back, I’d tell myself not to be ashamed in the slightest of being on anti-depressants. It’s so unbelievably common nowadays and if they are what it takes to make you happy again, then do it! Just don’t yo-yo and keep trying to come off them because people make you feel like you have to. Part of recovering is having consistency and stability so girl, pop those happy pills every day if that’s what it takes.

Have you heard any of these? Let me know in the comments and we can play stigma snap! *sighs*

Whilst Lace can be defined as “a delicate, decorative fabric, woven in an open web of different patterns and figures,” it can also mean “to change the patterns.” And that is exactly what Shirley Conran’s book did.

Plot

Lace was published in 1982 and opens with a raw description of a backstreet, teenage abortion. Even now I don’t think there are many novels that would open so dramatically, particularly those categorised as ‘chick lit,’ a genre often deemed as soft literature. So, I can only imagine how scandalous Lace would have been perceived when it was first released.

Once the abortion is over, we are transported to a glamorous Manhattan hotel in the 80’s, where four old school friends are bought back together by a young rising film star who has just one question…

“Which one of you bitches is my mother?”

The plot then flashes back to the mid 1950s, where Pagan, Kate and Maxine are at a boarding school in the Swiss Alps. They quickly meet the fourth main character, Judy, and soon become the unapologetic heroines that we grow to know and love.

Lace spans over about 30 years and we see the women use their intelligence and confidence to grow up and emerge into their careers – in a time when women were still perceived as only being able to fulfill the roles of wives and mothers. The book explored the idea – can women have it all or do they need to sacrifice something along the way? Career and family – can both happily coexist together?

Characters

I don’t want to give away too much of the book and I’m not going to delve into every character. All I’ll say is that together, Pagan, Kate, Maxine and Judy are a force to be reckoned with. They are fierce and determined go-getters who don’t stop until they get what they want. To me, they are the feminist literary icons that we should be talking about.

Whilst I haven’t got a favourite of the group, I do have a soft spot for Pagan. I felt that she was the most endearing when the girls were at school, thanks to both her ballsy attitude and hilarious quips.

Themes

Sex

Yep, I’m going right on in there (oo-err), because this is one of the biggest themes throughout Lace that simply cannot be ignored.

Very early on, we learn that the 15 – 16 year old girls at boarding school are not educated about sex at all and of course, this fuels their fascination, a fascination that all teenage girls have. Whilst the lack of knowledge and teaching is frustrating, Conran’s exploration of the girls’ naivety can be darkly amusing. For example, the girls believe that they can self-induce abortion by drinking a bottle of gin and bathing in scolding water.

But, they aren’t taught the mechanics of how sex works and are simply told that their desires are bad because they risk getting pregnant *eye rolls*. Neither are they taught about rape and that you don’t have just to go along with sex, leaving them very vulnerable very early on.

One of the things that will make you positively rage like a mad woman (well, at least it did with me) is the sexual double standards at that time. The teachers (the bloody teachers of all people!), tell the girls that it is the woman’s fault if a man gets aroused and they are entirely at fault for the man’s desires. Even if they literally just stood there and didn’t do everything – it’s all their fault. Got to love the blame culture.

Speaking of desires, the girls know nothing of their own. They didn’t understand that they could be satisfied too, as society put such a strong focus on men. The girls’ needs were cast aside and when they did eventually all have sex, they felt empty, confused, underwhelmed and upset. This later carries on into adulthood.

But don’t you worry, Wendy – the sex gets better (literally). All I’m going to say is you wait until the scene later on with Judy and Griffin. You’ll be inwardly screaming, “Yes, Judy – you go girl!” and thinking just why was 50 Shades such a phenomenon when this steamy stuff had been around 30 years before.

Power

This and the theme of sex are interlinked throughout the book. We see how men exerted authority and power over women in the form of sexual power. It didn’t matter what age they were – you wait until you see what the school’s headmaster and his driver did!

I’ve got to talk about Lili, the daughter of one of the women, who utters that beautifully bitchy line, “Which one of you bitches is my mother?” Lili had such a rough childhood and by the age of 13, she is being sexually exploited because she has no money, no family and no knowledge of what is really going on. Her manager Serge depends on his power over her to drive his own income, most evident in the line, “He didn’t like sending his bank account off on her own.”

Then there’s Prince Abdullah of Sydon who, as revenge for how he was tormented by Western boys as a teenager, decides he will “have their women.” Because of course, women are inferior possessions and nothing more than that.

Career

It’s sad how none of the women were prepared for a career. Whilst women had demonstrated their capabilities years before in the war, fast forward to the late 50’s and they were still ultimately seen as marriage and baby machines. The classic 1950’s housewife.

As the story goes on, times change and we see each character coming into their own, pursuing their passions.

Kate is a talented journalist and war correspondent, Maxine is a successful interior-designer, Judy is a public relations machine, and Pagan is a business-orientated, charity fundraiser. You go, girls.

What I love about this book is the fact that we see the shift in it being a man’s world to, eventually, a more level playing field, where a woman can make a name for herself without simply being labelled as the wife of Mr X. Of course, there was still such a long way to go at this point (and the case remains in 2017), but I love how we see the women hustle, graft and strive for the lives they want.

Another favourite moment is Conran’s social commentary on just how unprepared the girls were for the working world and life as adults. In a scene where they are reunited at Buckingham Palace for the Queen’s Royal Garden Party (no biggie), they discuss their achievements, but are very quick to point out how, in many ways, the education system and their parents failed them.

They discuss wishing how they’d have learned how to earn their own living, how to handle their financial affairs, issues that, at the time, weren’t deemed a woman’s business. To be honest, these are issues that I wish I could have learned at school too.

I could easily pull so many quotes out of this chapter, but my favourites are from Maxine and Judy:

“You cannot expect to skip through life with a princess-and-the-pea perspective, hoping to find no lump under the bedclothes. The bed is always lumpy.” – Maxine

“I wish we hadn’t picked up the idea that you were a failure if you didn’t have a man because then you would be without status and protection.” – Judy

Friendship

If you ask me, Kate, Maxine, Pagan and Judy are the ultimate female friendship group goals. Unlike friends who drift out of one another’s lives, they have an unbreakable bond and this is highlighted when during their teenage years, they find out that one of them is pregnant. They do what good friends should do – they tackle it head on as a group, stand by the mother and raise funds so that the child can be well looked after in the foster system.

While men heavily dominated the group’s lives, friendship was the one thing that couldn’t be taken away from them. Yes, men tried to break them apart, but it was the shared love that they had for one another would always prevail. This was clear in Maxine’s motto throughout the entirety of the book, that the girls would stick together through thick and thin. Or “sick and sin” as she liked to say, in her French accent.

Until the very end of the book, the message is reinforced that sticking together through thick and thin is more important than any man.

Because ultimately, it is the women who save each other throughout the book. Conran writes:

“Together, the four of them had certainly bought out the best in each other. Without the other three, where would they be? Alone, their frailties might have overwhelmed them. Together, they had strength and speed and style.”

The solidarity of their group contrasts greatly with Lili, who has no female friends or companions to support her. For most of her life, she is a lone wolf, answering only to the demands of Serge and film directors.

* * *

In the book’s epilogue, Conran writes, “Lace lies waiting for another generation to read it.”

I am part of that generation and I am so, so glad that I stumbled across Lace on my local library’s website.

Reading it in 2017 has honestly made me appreciate how far women have come and the freedom that so many of us have. Yes, there’s still a long way to go worldwide, but reading Lace made me proud that I can build my own life for myself and will never be defined by a man.

If you’re even slightly considering reading Lace, please give in to the temptation. You’ll fall in love with the characters and their friendship just like I did, and that is all thanks to Conran’s wonderful writing. She brings her characters to life through every single word, injecting humour, heartbreak and, as I like to call it, badassery at its finest.

Some have tried to dismiss Lace purely as a dirty book, but to me – it’s the feminist literature they chose to hide from us, and now – we’ve found it.

As India Knight rightly says on the back of the book:

“There was life before Lace and life after Lace, and nothing was ever the same again. I envy anyone who hasn’t read it.”

Earlier this year I went to my very first horse racing event – and it only happened to be Royal bloody Ascot! Phwah phwah phwah – I say!

Me and my friend Katie from work were lucky enough to go and were in the Queen Anne Enclosure too (the next one down from Royal!). We even had time for a spot of Afternoon Tea, and I can honestly say the day was fabulous, spiffing, marvellous and whatever else all these posh folk who regularly go to the races say.

Beforehand, I googled loads of tips about the races and you get the standard ones, but there were few from the perspective of a first-time racegoer. So, that’s why I’ve put together a guide covering everything you need to know for your first horse racing event, from the basics of betting and what shoes to wear, through to carefully orchestrating your photos and pre-drinking on the coach/train without being a drunken mess. Yay!

Pre-drinking

It’s the advice we’ve all received about pre-drinking at some point… and all subsequently ignored. Take it slow. Like seriously. With the gates to many horse racing events opening at 10.30am, people can be up and travelling from as early as 6.00am. And I’m pretty sure you can guess when the drinking starts… straight away! I know we Brits treat the phrase ‘go hard or go home’ like one of the 10 commandments, but all I’m going to say is this. If you’re glugging champers like it’s lemonade at, say, 7.00am and carry on like that when you’re at the races, don’t be surprised if you see a snap of yourself in the Daily Mail the next day, captioned with the phrase “a drunken race-goer on the ground… with her legs in the air.” Oh dear.

TOP TIP: If you’re travelling on the coach or train and are drinking, pour your drinks into plastic bottles beforehand. On my way to Royal Ascot, I watched women struggling to pour champagne into teeny tiny flutes, as well as a man drop a can of cider and the whole thing emptied out down the coach aisle. Both were equally painful to watch.

BASIC Betting guide

This is literally a beginner’s guide to betting. I am in no way saying I know anything about the intricacies of betting (because I really don’t) and I just want to give newcomers an idea of the very basics of what to do.

Each way – This is effectively two bets – one where you are betting for your horse to win, and the other where you are betting on it to place (usually in the top three or four). You obviously win more money the higher up your horse is – so if it’s in 1st place you’ll win the most. When betting each way, you double the amount you put on. So if I said I am putting £5 each way on a horse, I am betting £10. This is good if you think your horse will rank but are not sure if it will win (e.g. it could have long odds). It’s a great way to back an outsider and still profit if it wins. Remember, if your horse doesn’t win but ranks, you will still lose half of what you have put on (as you bet for it to win, as well as rank).

So, if you have a £10 each way bet on a horse at 4/1 that will cost you £20, with £10 on the win and £10 on the place part of the bet. If it wins both bets win, so you get £10 x 4 = £40, plus your £10 stake back for the win portion. You also get your each way bet too, so ¼ of 4/1 is 1/1, or evens, so you get £10 plus your stake of £10 so £20 in total. Overall you get £70 for a profit of £50. If the horse finished second, third or fourth you would lose your £10 win bet but make a £10 profit from the each way win to leave you level overall.

To win – You are betting for your horse to come in first place. Yes, it really is that simple – even I understood it!

There’s other types of betting like single, multiple and straight forecast (where you pick the top two horses in the race in the correct finishing order), but like I said, I’m a beginner and I just stuck to each way and winning betting.

I’d recommend you plan what you’re going to bet and bring a certain amount of money. When you’re in the moment, have had a few drinks and you’ve maybe even won a few races, it can be SO tempting to hand more cash over for bets. Since I was a complete beginner at Ascot, I took £40 knowing that I was unlikely to see that cash again.

Luckily I only had losses of about £8, but I am glad I was strict with myself because if I’d have bet £300 and lost £300, I would not have been a happy Sarah.

TOP TIP: Buy a race guide beforehand. At Ascot, they were £4.50 and gave you all the details of the horses (like their previous successes, their weight etc.) and their riders too. Race guides are also great for making a list of your bets.

Food

You know what’s coming. Have a BIG breakfast – you’ll need it to soak up all that booze you’re going to drink… and that’s just on the way there! Seriously, eating isn’t cheating and frankly, I don’t care if a fry up is going to give you a belly, Lisa! It’ll be your saviour when the rest of the squad are steaming and making fools of themselves. I’m not saying don’t get drunk – trust me, get drunk! Just have a bite to eat beforehand so that at all times you say classy, and never venture into trashy territory.

TOP TIP: Most races have food stalls, so plan ahead and look on the relevant website. Or, take a DIY approach and bring your own picnic full of delicious delights! I know that Royal Ascot has a picnic policy (i.e. where you can picnic, etc) and I’m not sure if it’s as strict as the other horseracing events, but I’d look in advance to be sure.

Photos

Ok, this is going to sound so vain and like I’m a complete selfie whore (which I’m not, by the way), but people – plan your photos in advance! Let me explain. When it comes to getting photos at the horse racing, you’ll want to take photos of absolutely everything, which I understand. However, do you really want to spend the whole day on your phone and miss out on the experience? HELL NO. So, go on Instagram beforehand, look on location and see where other people have been posing for photos. Trust me, it helps.

TOP TIP: When I went to Ascot there was a huge flower wall designed for photos. Katie and I already knew about this (from our Insta-stalking, of course) and literally legged it when the gates opened so we could get our pic. And thank bloody god we did because it was SO busy after. We had our photo at about 11 am and there was a constant queue for the flower wall for the rest of the day.

The outfit

I’m going to keep this one short. I’m all for people wearing what they feel comfortable in and expressing themselves. But ladies, this is a classy event and you’ll be surprised at how many women you see who’s ta-tas are spilling out for all to see, or have huge thigh high slits in their dresses, leaving very little to the imagination (ooh-err). I’m not saying dress like a nun and am a firm believer in the phrase ‘if you’ve got it, flaunt it,’ however, some women can make themselves look cheap and I don’t want that to be you. I want to look at you and shout ‘SLAAAAAY QUEEN!’ whilst typing multiple clapping hands emojis, ok?

TOP TIP: Don’t dress like a whore. No one likes a whore at the races.

Shoes

To me, it’s simple. Wear shoes that you can walk in! Wherever you go, the races is pretty much a whole day of standing up and if your shoes are cutting into your feet or making them bleed (firstly you have my sympathy), they’re really not worth it.

And oh, oh Jesus Christ. What some women did at Ascot made me cringe as if I had an awkward itch.

Halfway through the races, they gave up on their high heels and put FLIP-FLOPS on. *Sassy Southern American voice* aww heeeeeeell no! Girl, you can’t go looking like an absolute queen and then kill it with some shitty fucking flip-flops! If the flip flops were nice it wouldn’t be so bad – but so many of these women had the cheapest, most flimsy ones going and it was such a shame because it really did kill their outfits. But, believe it or not, you can avoid the searing pain of stilettos and still look fab-u-lous…

TOP TIP: Wear platforms/wedges / lower heels that put less pressure on the balls of your feet. Buy gel pads if you’ve got closed shoes. Bring along some fold up shoes that you can fit in your handbag and then change into them after. If all else fails and you want to strut through the pain, don’t take your heels off under any circumstances. Putting them back will be hell on earth.

Getting home

Thought it’s all over when the races are finished? Well – think again! You still have the challenge of finding your way to the train station/coaches and getting home. Personally, I’d advise that when you arrive at the races and aren’t in too much of a drunken state, have a look at your surroundings and try to commit them to memory. Or take a picture of the train station / where your coach is parked. Or even make a note on your phone with directions. Why? Well, when I went to Ascot, a guy’s friend took a ‘shortcut’ to the coach and got lost. We waited, and waited… and waited. But did he show? No. So, the guy’s mate had to get off the coach and go looking for him, meaning that the pair of them missed their coach (the only one going) from Ascot to Coventry. Don’t be like those guys – know where you’re going.

TOP TIP: When I came out of Ascot, it felt like there was loads of time to spare before our coach left. In reality, it took a good 20 minutes to walk to all the coaches and by the time we got on, there was only about 15 more minutes until the coach left. So, get everything done (pictures and all) in the day before you’re planning to leave the races.

***

I hope that’s helped you understand what to expect at your first horse racing event! I love writing travel content (I do it every day as part of my job as a copywriter), but above all else, I want to write different things that are going to be of great help to you. I want to give you the tips and hacks that no one else thought to tell you so that you go somewhere (like your first horse racing event!) fully prepared and have the best time possible.

How did you find this guide? Are you off to a horse racing event soon? x

As research for this blog, I asked friends on Facebook and Instagram, “Do you think your school days were the best? Or do you prefer life as an adult?” Whilst the majority of people said they preferred life as an adult, I had such a mixed bag of responses and was over the moon when so many people reached out to express their opinions. So, to everyone who took the time to respond – THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was really keen to express other view points as well as my own, and so…

YOU SAID:

“I much prefer life now than school; I have more independence and confidence”

“School offered freedom and innocence, the adventure of new experiences, the carelessness of youth, discovery, excitement. Depending on what you do for a living as an adult, it can be rewarding and liberating or restrictive and claustrophobic.”

“You couldn’t pay me to do my five years at school again, school years are the worst by far.”

“I loved school! You had no worries and got to see your best friends every single day.”

“I only really enjoyed seeing friends at school.”

“My adult years were better.”

“My school days were fun but definitely not the best. Uni was even better and I would say now my 30s are my best!”

“Some days I think yes and others I think no. I find it really sad when old people are less in touch with their inner child, get lost in the day to day and forget about doing what’s good for the soul.”

“For someone with ambition and creativity, being an adult is much more fulfilling due to the freedom and independence. I found school very limiting.”

I SAY:

From seeing your best friends every day to having dedicated break and lunch times, where you could literally just run around like a maniac for an hour, they say your school days are the best of your life.

But I disagree. Hogwarts? St Trinian’s. It was not. Even though I will forever refuse to admit that I am a ‘grown-up,’ I prefer being an adult and I’m going to tell you why.

***

Don’t get me wrong, there were so many moments at school that I loved. Playing pretend games with my friends at primary school, gossiping with the girls about boys we liked at lunch time at secondary school. I loved learning too and always felt great when I answered a question right or got a good mark. I’d be inwardly cabbage patching because in that moment I felt unstoppable. Like an absolute boss.

However, were these the best days of my life?

No.

I wasn’t confident. I wasn’t sure of myself. A tiny little fishie in a bloody big pond. I remember hating break times at secondary school (probably from year 9 – 11) as everyone started to mingle and just chat with anyone. That wasn’t my style. Not because I was an anti social little so and so, but more because I was trapped in the self-conscious cocoon of awkwardness that most teenagers battle with. “What do I say? What will they think of me? Does my opinion matter?” were thoughts that would regularly go through my head.

How different to the Sarah of 2017. If I want to say something, the only reason I don’t say it is if I know it’s inappropriate or offensive to someone. And then sometimes I still say it because fuck it, you only live once and I’d rather speak up when I have the opportunity than suffer in silence and regret it later on. As my sassy best friend Aman always tells me, “You be you, hoe.”

But being yourself doesn’t wash with everyone when you’re at school. As a child / young adult, you have no choice in who you’re surrounded by. You can (to an extent) avoid people in the playground, but you can’t avoid your teacher seating you next to that absolute arsehole in maths who is hell-bent on making that hour of your life miserable.*

*DISCLAIMER: I saw Maths Twat (everyone on this blog gets a fake name or nickname and boy, I like this one) a year or so ago and he was on crutches. Not that I ever want anyone to get hurt, like I seriously don’t. But, it was proof that the phrase, “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” is very true.

*Posh voice* Nasty bastards were aplenty. They even came in the form of friends, sometimes. I’m only talking about a few individuals from secondary school and sixth form here by the way. None at Primary School whatsoever. My Pedmore Primary girlies were angels and I’m still besties with two of them (shoutout to Ellie and Nicole – love you!).

Anyhoo – I remember I was so easy to manipulate in a friendship group as a teenager. Because when you’re the ‘nice one’ who so eagerly wants to be accepted and part of something, you just let it go when your friend is being a bit of a bitch. You think, “Oh, maybe she’s having a bad day.” Then, when it continues, you make excuses like, “Oh, that’s just what she’s like. It’s fine,” when she’s being a complete snake and passive aggressively insulting you. Is it fine though? Is it really?

It took me so long to be able to stand up to people and grow a thick skin. Instead of learning to deal with it or voicing my opinion, I would hold it in until I’d cry. Yep, I was a crier. Not so much in front of people. But more at home, hosting my own little pity party for one and thinking, “Why are they mean to me? What have I done wrong?” I was like that when I first started work too. Little scared 18 year old Sarah.

Fast forward to 2017 and I’m surrounded by fantastic friends, wonderful colleagues and have cut out the people that don’t add value to my life. And sister, let me tell you, that’s something that you should never feel guilty for. I like to think of the nasty bastards one by one as a plaster. Just rip ’em off, put ’em in the bin and move on. Done, dusted and out of your life. It’s hard at first but gets easier with practice. Seriously, I think I could put cutting people out as a skill on my LinkedIn – I really have become the master.

Enough about them though – let’s talk about you! Remember the build up as a kid to growing up? So much of it is exciting – the little things like, what colour will I paint my front door? Imagine when I can drive myself to the shops and even go on holiday anywhere I want in the whole wide world!

But, at least for me, this sense of adventure was also laced with fear. The fear of standing still. That once you leave school, you’re in the same routine of going to work, coming home and dealing with countless responsibilities like (eventually) tiny humans and mortgages every day until you’re wrinkled, retired and then dead.

Boom.

I know this is extreme, but that is how adulthood is sometimes painted out to kids. That now’s the time not to worry and have fun, because the worry will come thick and fast later on. I think it’s done to make kids appreciate what they have which I understand, but equally, it’s a great way to give them a fear of the unknown that constantly lingers around like a bad smell.

In reality, adulthood is not like you’re standing still. At least, not in the early days when you’re tiny human free. Yes, you have to work (unless you’re some sort of Kardashian), but if you wake up excited about the day ahead with pure, unadulterated passion for what you do running through your veins – working is fun.

Plus, did I mention… you get money!? Money to pay the bills and afford to live and do the typical adult things, yes, but also – money to go on holidays, to make memories you’ll tell your grandkids, to spend on books, your cat, a floppy hat – anything!

To me, adulthood brings adventures beyond the stretch of the imagination.

Children love dreaming and thinking, but their age stops them from getting out there and actually doing. As adults, we dream, we think and then?

Then we do.

We have what we didn’t have as children. Freedom. The freedom to go and pursue our passions. The independence to dictate exactly what we want from life – whether or not we know how we’re going to get it. And, when you realise that? That is when you realise how fulfilling being a ‘grown-up’ really is.