Blame game

He's pointing the finger at me for his family problems/ Picture posed by model

Refuse to take any responsibility for his family problems

He insists it’s my fault that his teenage daughter broke into his fl at, drank his booze, took drugs and trashed it.

If I hadn’t begged him to stay the night with me then everything would be OK. If I hadn’t used emotional blackmail and my “womanly wiles” then his daughter would be OK and his flat would still be in one piece. I think this is grossly unfair.

Our drama started the day before Christmas Eve. I was alone in my flat. I wasn’t expecting anyone when the doorbell rang.

My lover walked in with a bottle of champagne and proceeded to rip my clothes off. We made crazy, passionate love for hours.

At about 2am he said he had to go home. Naturally, I urged him to stay. Who wouldn’t?

I said that I’d be sad, lonely and horny without him.

He eventually drove off on Christmas morning just as I was getting ready to visit my folks.

But two hours later I received a stinking email. He said his 17-year old daughter and a couple of her mates had got into his flat and held a party.

Furniture was broken, taps were left running and she was in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

His ex-wife went nuts. He then went on to send me another ten abusive emails throughout the day. I was in tears. Now he’s suggesting that I pay towards the clean-up as he isn’t insured. He says that if I truly loved him, I wouldn’t hesitate.

But I didn’t even know he had a daughter. And how is his family’s behaviour my fault?

JANE SAYS: CLEARLY your lover is getting it in the neck from everyone.

He’s embarrassed and angry but determined to shift the blame on to someone else.

Rather than take responsibility for his family and his home, he’s childishly decided to point the finger in your direction. Pathetic.

Why wasn’t he man enough to be honest with you in the first place? Why hide the fact he had a daughter?

I can’t imagine this is the first time he’s had problems with her.

And to send you ten more abusive emails, thus completely ruining your family Christmas, was unnecessary and cruel.

Tell him today that you refuse to take any responsibility for his family problems because you were not in full possession of the facts.

Insist that he now dedicates himself to putting his house in order and you move on.

You don’t need anyone in your life who is capable of twisting events in order to make you feel bad.