Project 365: Day 156 — The will to build

Only someone who has experienced loss — the irreversible kind — can know what it feels like. Let me attempt to explain.

Some days, it feels like I have swallowed a bag full of lead pellets. My stomach feels heavy and I can feel my chest burning. On most days though, I feel relief. Relief, that the worst is over and what is to come can only be better if not the best. What I also feel a lot of is gratitude. We often forget to count our blessings, not realising that the situation could have been much worse. Loss isn’t easy. But it could have been worse. A lot more people could have gotten hurt. YOU would have gotten hurt — more than you already are. Perhaps your dignity and self-esteem would have seen some erosion. It is better this way. Tell yourself that every single day because you know it to be true.

Loss is debilitating in a lot of ways, but also empowering. Loss makes you want to be a better version of yourself. Loss gives you the confidence, not to rebuild your life but have greater faith in yourself and your gut. When the world collapses around you, make the person in the mirror your biggest strength. Remind yourself that even though this situation feels like the worst thing that may happen to you, this feeling too, shall past. Life is a series of unfortunate events and fate picks you every now and then. This happened to you because there was a lesson in there. It doesn’t mean you lose your faith in people, in yourself. Take the time you need to grieve but don’t depend on another person to pull you to your feet.

Finally, remember that even though you can’t go back to being the same person, you will emerge out of this stronger. Remember that it is only the phoenix that metamorphoses from the ashes. Don’t underestimate your own awesomeness. Learn to gather every ounce of pain you’ve been through and channel it into strength. And do so without bitterness or resentment. It will be tough but it will make you a better person.