In the 1980 movie Airplane, there are two memorable scenes in which two guys (and in the later scene, an older woman) speak "Jive" to each other. The transcripts of the scenes in question are below, from IMDB;

scene one

First Jive Dude: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?

2 Answers
2

It is important to note a few things. Airplane! is a satirical comedy, and the writers were making a joke about language. Jive shares traits with African American Vernacular English (AAVE), but it is not the same. The writers and actors have said that Jive was fabricated, which can be seen in the video here. All of what the Jivemen said was a fabrication of the writers and actors, so trying to translate it without the help of the them will be impossible.

Fortunately, they included subtitles for the first scene, which can be found in the full script (subtitles emphasized by me):

Jiveman1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady
got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head!Subtitle: GOLLY, THAT WHITE FELLOW SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE
OR I WILL PUNCH HIM.
Jiveman2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no
mo' big rap upon you man!Subtitle: YES, HE IS WRONG FOR DOING THAT.
Jiveman1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get
the same ol' same ol.Subtitle: I KNEW A MAN IN A SIMILAR PREDICAMENT, AND HE ENDED UP
BEING SORRY.
Jiveman2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got
perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.Subtitle: DON'T BE NAIVE ARTHUR. EACH OF US FACES A CLEAR MORAL
CHOICE.
Jiveman1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac
lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.Subtitle: EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO RISE, MAKES A MAN HEALTHY,
WEALTHY AND WISE.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!Subtitle: HOW TRUE!
Together: Sheeeeeeet!Subtitle: GOLLY.

When it comes to the second scene you've transposed, the joke is that the older white woman can translate Jive for the stewardess. It doesn't need subtitles for the first part because that would ruin the joke. As Shane Finneran pointed out, there were subtitles for the later part of that interaction:

Note that there is a deeper and slightly mire subtle joke as well: the "older white woman" isn't just anybody, but the Barbara Billingsley, who played the archetype of the sitcom mother on the classic 1957-1963 series "Leave it to Beaver."
–
James McLeodMay 2 '13 at 16:10

2

Why not include the subtitles for the last few lines? Second Jive Dude: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap! [Ma'am, I'm not stupid. I understand what she just said.] Jive Lady: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da help! [Give me a break! If you don't want help, I won't help you!] First Jive Dude: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up! [Damn, she implied that he didn't understand!] Jive Lady: Jive-ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit. [Nevermind. He's stupid, anyway.]
–
Shiz Z.May 2 '13 at 18:47

1

@ShaneFinneran Because for some reason the script I found didn't have the subtitles in it for that section. I'll add them.
–
SocioMattMay 2 '13 at 19:13

There are no official subtitles for the last few lines. The whole scene has no subtitles, just Barbara Billingsley's on-screen translation. But I do like Shane's version.
–
James McLeodMay 4 '13 at 0:56

There aren't any actual examples of jive talk in these scenes, only jive jibberish. The writers were making fun of what jive sounds like to white people. It's kind of like when American children attempt to "speak Chinese" or the type of language comedy that Sid Caesar used to do.

Thus, there isn't an actual translation for these scenes other than what the subtitles say because the slang is made up for laughs.