My religious views are primitive; I do not have them. Long ago I realize that too many things I understand literaly. Maybe because we live in such spectacular times, when a miracle is norm. When I hear the world "resurrection" I start thinking about how does it "work"....

Resurrect Page in The Book of Spectator and another one in POV -- maybe the answer for that big narrative problem, which began in the last (third) part of Self... I shouldn't force myself to "write" the story and the web-versions of the books are this format, when "living = writing" or life as a text. I work on my books without thinking about "writing" them (including the textbooks) and simply could include them within the narrative of the nonfiction. "Nonfiction" is the limits I can't violate. No need for inventions; the discoveries are the inventions!

TECH FILES

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. (TI2 4:2)

No, not me, the world I live is the word. In season and out of season, day and night -- paradise is a propaganda machine. Talking, showing, seducing, inviting, convincing, call it whatever you want -- indoctrination, brainwashing -- you have to
feel happy, without pauses, breaks, interruptions. Happiness is
the dominant emotion of paradise. Because paradise is nothing but emotions, a feeling, my state of mind.

There are many things you have to forget in order not to be
a criminal in the world of total happiness. "All long suffering"
was for them, the mortals, who lived before us. The word is
paradise, the paradise itself. Paradiso is the media and the
message. Call it a spectacle, what else did we expect from
paradise as being spectacular?
The doctrine of paradise is obvious in the spectacle of hell. If paradise is the best of life how loud and aggressive in its beauty it must be. The world is singing. Turn on your radio, you, skeptic. The world is preaching the word. What do you expect from me, you, sinner? Am I not to a part of celebration? Oh, the wicked! Enjoy it! Dance! Laugh! And this is my last word.

RESURRECTION? WHICH ONE?

...

Paul: I stand on trail because of my hope in the resurrection. (Acts 23:6)

...

Hope? Belief, not knowledge, they thought. Belief is more emotionally charged than knowledge. Something you can't prove -- and that is a criteria of salvation? Lucky Paul, I envy you, your hope and your trail. You were free. The Knowledge takes away hope. The power of the Christian thought is simple: it's PERSONAL. Highly emotional. Faight! Why not rational? Very rational -- I have to find way out to save myself from the torment of c ontradictions, protect myself from fears. The concept proved to be very practical. (The Greeks didn't feel death? There were not much to remaind it, not in my world when only in kitchen I have three clock, not counting the timers.)

....

Freedom? How much does God depend on me in such relations? Does The All-Knowing have a knowledge of my existence or just believes in it? Asymmetrical relations?
The children of resurrection shouldn't ask, they must know everything...

There's no life allowed outside of resurrection. Look,
paradise is not for *knowing* but for enjoying it! Reflections on
nature of paradise have to be limited, since it's an experience.
Living up prevents from categorization. There's no subject-object
separation as before. and therefore no much room left for
"observations." You know only what you need to know in order to
use it. Do you really need to know how to walk if you're capable
of walking without theory of walking? Leaveit to the specialists,
doctors, mechanics, plummers. You have your own area of
expertise, mind your business! Paradise is about integration
which could be achieved only through specialization....

Personal Footnotes

Resurrection is personal and private. It's nobody's business.

The duality of Resurrection: First, "I" is an invention, according to the pomo. Second, from Resurrection POV = discovery. Look who is here! Me!
Who?

Paul has his problems with self-identification...

Read it slow, I say. You have to do be careful with the
Bible studies at the time of Apocalypse. Since I'm a self-taught
student of Christianity, I read the book the way I studied math.
(I admire the style of writing and learn my poetic lessons as
well). I began to read Bible well after I went through the great
works of literature. As if I had to be ready for such a test.
Actually, I got my own Bible because I needed the answers to
questions in other books. Without any guidance I didn't read it,
I began with the last book of the Bible. The end of the book and
the world.

There were no Bibles in the Soviet libraries when I needed
it. You understand why now I am suspicious when I find this book
in every hotel room. Why do I need it? What for? Don't see the
Word everywhere? The Soviet communists in their Christian
Orthodoxy rejected the Book, because the world became the
message. What more do you want? What proof do you need? I'm
uncomfortable in church... They haven't read much. Including the
big book. Since I took the resurrection idea seriously, I can't
even call myself a Christian.

For ten years I was a member of the communist party, even
some sort of a local elected leader in the Filmmakers Guild. This
experience taught me a lot about apocalypse. Communists had no
need in Bible studies, they knew that we crossed the line. We
celebrated the date of Resurrection. We called it "Great
Revolution." It was a fact. We behaved accordingly. We built the
future the way you build a dog house -- what is there to believe
in? We didn't have to explain the world, we didn't have even to
understand it, we were changing it!

My Soviet life was full of biblical revelations. The
communists were the true believers, they act in spirit of the
holy book. They dropped the archaic linguistics of church and the
metaphysics of academia. Atheism? To "believe" while living in
paradise is a nonsense. The Soviet souls were primitive and
vulgar. Marx himself called socialism a primitive state of
resurrection.

Since apocalypse and resurrection is one process, it must be
the final judgment -- to separate the corrupt from the
incorrupted. "To be or not to be" is "to see or not to see" -- to
know or not to know!

...

(JOHN 5:29) And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation.

Since I have done both, I face two modes of resurrection, or life = damnation. In the Russian mind of the extreme this equation made a lot of sense. The radicalism of this thought had a natural attraction for me. It was crazy. Also, intellectually, it explained my feelings. If a mortal life was a punishment, what do you think immortal replica should look like?

What a show! That's how Robespiare and Trotsky looked like!
American tele-evangelists are good agitators. Of course, our
resurrected reality resembles the natural one. Even the church
has it place in paradise, not in real space, but in electronic,
virtual reality. They preach the end of the world not knowing
that this end is not a public event. We are used to the
representation of the end of the world in art, you know, in the
mind-set of two thousand years mentality. The heaven, the clouds
and etc. -- we have this impression that this will take place in
front of us, that it's outside and the news will put on tv
screen. But, in reality, this is an event on a personal level,
with us and through us. The stupid news on the screen IS the
manifestation of the end and resurrection!

This lack of understanding in matters of resurrection should
not be a surprise. Postmodernism, this wise-up brand of the high
modernity, knows that we can't notice anything anymore; we are
the process, not observers. Reflective abilities of mind are not
needed in the kingdom of god. The absence of self-conscience in a
child gives him ability for fast learning.

Madness of resurrected flesh!

Never-mind this sexual revolution! The birth is outside of
the KOG (Kingdom of God). But men and women resurrected in their
original genders! What to expect? Sex. Useless, since there is no
reproduction purpose... We call it porno. The fuck. There is a
lot of fucking in paradise. We need more. Why? Because.

(MAT 22:30) For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

Yes, yes, "as the angels of God" -- we are working on
getting closer to this angelic nature. We getting better every
day. Of course, you can married even in paradise, it doesn't
matter any more. Have your sex, a lot of it, have children --
you're still neither marry, nor are given in marriage. Haven't
you heard about cloning? Artificial insemination? Surrogate
parents? Or something else -- "Sexual orientation"! How about that!

We need a compensation for this void of marriage. It has to be
big -- the compensation. No, I bet you didn't get it. You haven't
heard it right, the kids of resurrection. Would you give up the
institution of marriage for immortality? Would you rather marry
than live? You rather die but get married! Oh? Excuse me.

And again, LUKE 20:35-36:

"But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:
"Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection."

"Neither can they die anymore" -- aha? Wait! Than -- nothing
matters anymore (Dostoevsky). Prisoners of existence! Prisoner's
behavior = life sentence. We forced into resurrection no less
than into the first mortal life.

1. SHALL NOT DIE

The real tragedy is ahead, only immortals know it.

How to "live" in R-world?

Live? Life is impossible, because death is forbidden.

We say -- existence, presence.

What for?

Search for a meaning of life is from a mortal mind, whose
memories I still have. He needs some answers. Not me, an immortal.

The sense of myself shall be overcome. Than another birth
(any birth) is my birth. At least how they (mass) feel. Family?
What family?

Is your death my death?

...

Any death and any birth -- mine. According to laws of paradise.

I thought that Body is my last personal property -- and it
shall be overcome!

What is "my" skin"?

Organs donation -- share! It's on my driver's license.

Disappearance of "man" is a faze of resurrection.

If the earth has to be transformed, how I can escape the
transfiguration? We have to make you an "open body" --diet,
vitamins, cosmetic corrections. If you are an universe, you have
to travel your body like a tourist. You to work it out! To make
it your creation! Stalon and Schwarzenegger -- the models.

You are only a material. Sounds familiar?

... [ image ]

The borders between I and You are thinner than between I and
Me. I am further away from myself with every step I'm taking to
know me. I can't meet myself, I only remember. Pain and pleasure
-- meeting my body?

[When Christ is closer to himself than to his Father, he is
a mortal.]

Look in the mirror. I did. Who is this man? I don't know
him. That's why I want to be the stranger. I love him and he
loves me. I am my neighbor.

[Nobody prays in paradise. (Why did Christ pray? It must Jesus who did it.)]

We act. We restored the lost *magic* heritage of religion.

Religion was always an ideological philosophy.

What was this step from theology to ideology (with us in place of God)?

Away from myself (bodily) to myself-I-wish-to-be? Wishful
thinking is our future. Wishes are the favorite food of the soul.

Resurrection is anti-creative? Why do we need it, the
angelic chronotope? "Thinking" (spirits) without life, by itself.
Life (matter) is very (too) stable, evolutionary.

The Third World: existence without life. v. life without
conscience. (v. Nothing). R is a war against life, because it's a
war against Nothing. R is a reconciliation of life and death,
being and nothing, body and mind.

Christ is an independent life and a representation
(messenger and message) -- sign and symbol (of somebody and
something before him). Mission -- resurrection (or
existentialism) insists on meaning of human life, even if it has
to be imposed on. We're forced to be citizens, humans, educated
-- pre-requisites of paradise. Nobody could be left alone. This
is pm equality of conditions among non-equals (nature? breaks the
equality principle).

Adam: identity of a creature (in addition of being a child).
Self-made -- formatted (programmed) by environment and himself.
Adam wasn't born -- a myth opposing the nature and "natural.:
Creation, invention, construction. Past (biology) and Future
(mind) collide in me.

American identity (communist, common man) has to be a mass
(production). Family is secondary (village is first). What kind
of family did Christ have? Adam? Orphans. Adam (creature) had no
parents. And -- the choice? His marriage was prearranged.

Family is a mechanism of rebirth, not resurrection; it's a
"line" continuity, not an individual focused on method.

Speaking of being "aristocratic"! What about nature? What
about fingertips? Talk to me about "unique" and "exclusive"!

What is this balance between One (separate) and Many?
Individual as a carrier of R. ONE AS A CAPITAL, concentration of
time, information, the empire of paradise? (Bourdieu)

Life (birth) is a part of R. process, because life has to be
brought back in its totality (including birth and death). Did we
say resurrection of "life"?

Identity in RA is a discovery (past) and an invention
(creation). Clay, according to Genesis. Communists thought of
human as a tabula rasa, blank tape. What else could they say
about the genetics -- pseudo-science! The past must be only a
material, not with all the bodily memories! What an insult from
the nature to a soul!

...

Americans are the best material for RA (Resurrection Age).
They are removed from the natural, they are willing to be
resurrected, they like the offer. They love aliens, they feel
close to them. Or dinosaurs. Or Disney (fictional) characters.
They are practical... with no much attachments to the real?

Replacement:
Anti-religious tendency -- theology has no place in the
kingdom of God (technology -- practical fight). No temples --
everything is a temple. I am the place to be. "Me" is a place for
"I": my PRESENCE is a space for my life.

Life = corruption? Death is a cure. Destruction of
corruption, not life; will to live, desire to live.
Unfortunately, they are together -- life and sense of living.
Death is "incorruptible"? (Xmas thoughts).

Listen up, angels!

"In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised
incorruptible..."

Very marxist -- the world shall be changed. And fast! Bible
as a manifesto. Good news! In a moment? In the twinkling of an
eye? Reference to time? To television? And the music!

...incorruptible... Do you want to know what is it, the
incorruptible?

Immortality is a child of our mind. And a wish of our body... A tree dreams of immortality no less than a human.

Alas, a tree is unaware of its desires.

Yes, Frederich, the will to live is a sin!

1. Death is a sin (is it shameful to die?) -- death is an
"outlaw." Or knowledge of death?

2. No laws = no sin. Written laws? There is no sin in
mechanical. Computer is sinless. That's the ideal.

Who does fight the death? We do!

Tricky! Rejecting death -- it is a rejection of
resurrection. Inclusion of death is a precondition of living in
paradise.

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."2

Is that the way to accept the death? Restoration of unity.
Is death real in virtual world? Death of a videotape? Death of a
copy? Who cares?

SUMMARY: Paradise is the place to escape from.

....

ANARCHY IS MOTHER OF ORDER!

Anarchy, or the chaos theory. Including the brains!

(CO1 15:24) Then cometh the end, when he shall have
delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when
he shall have put down all rule and all authority and
power.

Ah, Beyond Good and Evil! If knowledge is power, the Age of
Reason has to end. It's not as if we have to stop knowing, we
must not know about our knowing. Like a child. We have to develop
our rules to the point of habits. We should go beyond the
authority and not be proud in throwing up the light switch. It's
not that difficult to put down it all, when you don't need it.

(CO1 15:26) The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.

Oh, no, please!

Do you mean that nothing could be forgotten? Recorded and
filed. Everything would be watched? Surveillance. That nothing
evil is allowed into existence? Censorship. Forget the death
penalty, the meat is outlawed. Or the death would be redefined?

Their resurrection is simple. The souls were numbered, remember? Concentration camps and social security. Coded souls.

(CO1 15:28) And when all things shall be subdued unto
him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto
him that put all things under him, that God may be all
in all.

Oh? Could be seen as an outright atheism. Death of God?

(CO1 15:31) I protest by your rejoicing which I have in
Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

Amen. Yes, yes, daily! That's the way to do it! If I die every
hour, or better every minute, death loses any meaning. If I'm an
American after being a Russian, if I'm totally different today
next to me-yesterday, if I don't remember the age, if I can have
nine lives, if I change my place of residence every three years,
if the world around changes every ten years to the point that I
live in different country without changing my citizenship... what
death are we talking about?

It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body.
There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living
soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit.
Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that
which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual.
The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the
Lord from heaven.
As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as
is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly.
And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also
bear the image of the heavenly. (CO1 15:44-49)

Listen, Adam, my boy, both of you, listen and -- learn.
Whatever was "natural" before is abomination now. Yes, a
quickening spirit has some sort of a natural body. Wait and see
what our medicine could do with it. Do you know the difference
between a living soul and a quickening spirit? Earthy and
heavenly?

More in CO1 15:50-56:

Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot
inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit
incorruption.
Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we
shall all be changed,
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump:
for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised
incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this
mortal must put on immortality.
So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and
this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought
to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in
victory.
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the
law.

Hear me, flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God!
If I have no fresh -- O death, where is thy sting? If I have no
blood -- O grave, where is thy victory? I have to get rid of
blood and flesh! How? Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not
all sleep, but we shall all be changed... The change, as the
president said. He plays the trumpet.

Destroy the law, man, and yo rap forever! Now you know why
the law is the only ruler in democracy. Because there is no law
in paradise mind! Freedom from sin!

Resurrection shouldn't a big deal at the time of
resurrection. What could Lazarus say? Just go on with living. He
died eventually again. So, you see, it's possible to die even
after the resurrection. Not in the resurrected world! Lazarus
must be among the ones resurrected in the first round.

...

....

Against the Accidental: PERFORMING3 CHRONOTOPE

Birth and death are not excluded but they lost their
primacy. (The way we ignore changes such as a renewal of blood
every seven days, or a transition from being a child to
adulthood). Death still lives on its intellectual inertia.
Smooth-space of virtuality makes material death less dramatic,
thanks to videotape. If according to Marx, I'm just a sum of
social relations (functions), my physical absence doesn't
necessary lead to a disolvement of my presence. "Lenin even now
is more alive than all the living." (Mayakovsky after Lenin's
death). Ancient totemism got individualized. I'm the totem (cult
of personality in socio-political terms). If we do accept the
event-space organization of the real, Lenin's physical death is
almost a non-event, next to his "historical" role (revolution).
His birth wasn't important either -- it didn't cause Vladimir-boy
to become Lenin, it's only a pre-condition but not a cause/effect
link. In fully humanized universe the physical is present but not
imperative. In many ways actual death is a necessity of this
event-oriented chronotope. What would Christ do if somehow he
escapes the crucifixion? It would be anti-climatic -- and a
betray of artistic structure (the first law of thermodynamics).
Everything in the world of "Good Life" has to be organized
dramatically, if it wants to be noticed.

Apocalypse is needed for aesthetic reasons. Beauty rules the
paradise (therefore "saves" it from non-being = not being
visible, noticed). We needed the end of the world and made it
happened.

Birth and death have potentials to be dramatic, even
spectacular. But for a coma patient there's very little left to
perform, his life lost inner dramatism. We are driven by (safe)
eventfulness. CNN headlines is very representative phenomena of
the dramatic chronotope. When nothing happens (film "Sleep") it
still could be an event. Absence of events could be frame by
expectation into dramatic situation. A brick could be picked up
on the street and placed in the MOA becoming a statement.

In humanity of big numbers individual birth and death are
only statistics. No impact on stability of paradise. They are
factual, low energy events. Attention is given to "insignificant"
events as soon as those events are performing. Scientific
discovery has a low kinematic potential; no immediacy and
urgency, no conflict with the near present, no power of the
spectacular. Monday night football is more dramatic, it has open
ending and asks for participation.

Mediated! The play of emotions. Performative and
non-performative act (meaningless = invisible).

Two levels: actual and symbolic.

The theatrical extended its powers totally over total
society.

....

PERSONAL SELF

The only task of a super-man in paradise is to survive as a
man. To have power over himself. He is the evil and devil in
paradise. He can't ask for mercy -- that's you become them. He
can't expect an understanding (than you communicate their
banalities. This is his hell because he is in their paradise.

What do you do now, Mr. Zarathustra?

Treasure your mortality and knowledge of it. I don't know
how to help you, boy. All I can do -- to tell you what I saw.
Bland beast could fight and win over others, but not all. They
are your environment -- the gravity!

...They would try to make you an idiot from the day you are
born and even before your birth they work on you. even before
your birth.

Pretend that you are one of them. Play it. Only with
yourself you can and must be yourself.

Is this situation forever, mister?

They know how to smell you out, there's a small spark of
your spirit in them. And they would let you alone, physically,
socially; the danger is you, them-in-you. Them in you would
torture you.

You still do not get what they are?

Your father, brother, mother, wife, children, friend, you
yourself!

Why should I endure it, why should I go through this pain?
Because if you won't learn how to live in paradise, you never
will be in paradise. The real is still there, the bliss, the
beauty. How to learn? Learn from them -- split. Be both. Read
"Prince" -- be Prince, govern! You have your kingdom -- yourself.
It's not easy to be a master of your own self. Let me teach you
how to be an actor. How to enjoy the game.

Paradise is a theatre. You're not a driver, you perform the
role of a driver. Observation and imitation. you are not a
citizen (they are), you play this part. I play a professor, even
a father (talking with a principle in my kids' school) -- the
secret is to know when to play and when to be. It takes a talent,
and if you don't have it, too bad, you're one of them.

Pretend that you read this, pretend that you understand it
-- this book is not for you. Forget it, close it...

Leave them alone; you have more important thing to do -- to
live your life. To feel, to be happy. Look, they do it too -- to
get a better pay, better "good life." Better breads better. They
are acting, performing (duties), and the best of them are happy.

Do not complain. They are your environment, your nature,
habitat, landscape. Like gravity, yea. Be yourself when it's time
to be yourself -- and play when it's time to play.
Existentialists claimed that life is tragedy. Tragedy is a form
of drama, you're a lead actor in your life, aren't you? Do you
know your part? Are you up to the task to make your life into a
masterpiece? You are your own spectator, you know. Direct
yourself.

And then, at the end?

Happiness. When each day is a gift -- your (and therefore)
real life. Don't be afraid of them, afraid to lose yourself, your
instincts, clear mind, your will. Oh, there's a lot to learn --
you only know that you know yourself. It's them in you talking.

First, remember that you have to remember yourself, to be
present. Even when you're forced to do what you don't want to do
-- learn how not to get yourself in this position again.
Education of self is your own business. There is a science of
acting and art of behavior.

Welcome things you don't know. Yes, the new things. Like a
child. It's only an attitude separates ignorance and arrogance.
You don't know that? Good! There's something to learn! Don't look
back on wasted time when you took in their poison: that how you
learnt what you are and what is yours. You are coming from the
gutter and can't come out clean. Clean yourself. Be focused, be
ready -- the war, the garbage, the dirt -- is never over.

Training -- what other answer did you expect?

You can be in paradise without leaving hell; paradise is a
state of mind, it's a feeling, remember? Always and in any given
circumstances.

Do you want to change the world? Change yourself. You're the
world. Do you want to have a friend? You're your friend. Do you
need father? Be a father to yourself. Be a good son. If it's not
enough for your -- do not read further.

Do you know how to love yourself? You are your neighbor,
your enemy, the Other. Do you know how to love your enemy?

The universe in you awaits to be discover and to be created.
You're the only one who could do it. Deconstruction and changes
-- it's all about your job description in relations with yourself. Do it before they will do it for you. Before they kill you.

Don't be afraid of them -- they don't know you. Be ahead of
them. Will to power starts with power over yourself, Zarathustra.
It takes a lot o will power to withstand the attacks of paradise.
Do you know how to get this power? If you're not happy -- you
don't.

You should lean how to be happy when you're unhappy.
Paradise is about happiness. Your paradise too about being happy.
Fear not. nothing can't be taken away from you, nothing of value.
What do you have besides you?

Are you in love with a woman? You have to be in love. All
the time. You have to fall in love most of the time. That's you
who is in love. Love your love. Let yourself travel -- you don't
even have to have a woman to be in love with woman.

This is artistic way of dealing with life.

Laugh. Do you know how to do it? Their paradise will be your
hell if you don't know how to laugh at it. Learn to laugh at
yourself when you see them in you. Laughter is departure.

Teach yourself how to cry. It's called poetry. Oh, you
thought it's easy to be a man. do you think you know how to feel?
Do you feel that you know how to think? Than you're not ready for
a journey. Go back to them, try their way, maybe you would get
used to their paradise, and than you're one of them. Be happy
there. There's a place between hell and paradise -- limbo. Very
crowded place.

Or maybe you are envy them with their happiness in their
paradise? Go. I was there -- it's hell.

How long would it take to learn myself?

If you will get to this stage of the final -- you die as a
living soul. You're finished. And why would you like to know
everything about yourself?

Oh, the question? Are you still interested to know if they
ever stop this war against you? Don't you know that this war what
makes you into you. Separate, different, individual. This war is
your blessing. Ask for more!

I know your question -- but let me ask you.

Don't you, silly, have already enough connections, contacts,
links with them? You have more than you ever can swallow. Your
relations with me? I never met Shakespeare or Tolstoy. Or maybe I
did? The best of them I know, the worse is dead. Are you sure
that you are ready to meet us? Write. They will read it.

Read, think, feel -- it will bring us together; you --
closer to yourself.

I hope that by now you know that I can't teach you how to
find yourself. Nobody can. I can tell your my story. You have to
write your life on your own. It's a pleasure. I won't let anybody
to do it instead of me by myself. That would be hell.

Too many wanted to change the world. Their name - communists.
Too few strived to change themselves -- they are great men.
Change the world? You're the world. If you don't believe in it,
close the book.

Let me tell you how little I know about myself. Yes, it's
about the world I live in. This world is a part of me. History is
a part of m,y identity -- that why I need to discover history. In
order to discover, I have to study.

Why do I need to know? Because it's me. The closest, the
most complicate and most personal experience of living. This is
only partially a discourse. I do not insist on articulating it
for others, just for myself. And a poem, or a painting could do
it -- it's enough for me. If I have to write a symphony I will
compose it (hopefully, I don't have to experience it?) I ask for
answers, but I trust that answers can't be forced out of me. We,
my many selves, have to get it freely. It's a gift, miracle,
revelation.

I have no method. I have many tools, and I have many
questions to ask. My questions are my treasure, they are born out
of my feelings. It's almost as if in love. I'm seeking a
response. That's how thoughts come to live. I'm afraid of
professional thinkers. To this day I wonder why would they like
to have a system? I went through math special school and a few
years of studying thermodynamics till I couldn't stand this
insane drive for the full, final answer. There were so much in
life I had to think about; physics with its music of precise
thought was only a small portion of me. I could not serve it, I
thought that science was supposed to serve me. I'm the one who
lives, feels, changes.

All what I did -- I try to find me. Did I "construct"
myself? Yes, but not as a goal, not as if I have nothing else to
do. There was no theory of "me" and I have to experiment. There's
no even image of "me" in my mind. I can't be a slave of myself --
said Stirner.

I was busy. I still am. There's so much to do and the work
is never done. That's why I live. When I lose the sense of
purpose, when I'm outside of myself -- I want to kill myself.
Because there's nothing else is out there -- no me, no path to
travel, no world to see. World without me is a nonsense, if I am
still alive.

Now you understand why they are after you -- you are the
negation of the world, the world without you.

No life is allowed outside of R.

Paradise is not for knowing but for enjoying it. Reflections
on nature of paradise have to be limited since it's an
experience. Living it up prevents from categorization and
abstractions. There's no subject-object separation as before and
therefore no much room left for "observation." You know only what
you need to know in order to use it. Do you really need to know
how to walk if you capable of walking without a theory of
walking? Leave it to specialists. Doctors, mechanics, plumbers.
You have your own area of expertise. Paradise is about
integration which could be achieved only through differentiation.

American Age is the end of history. Not Revolt but the
Triumph of the Masses.

What the achievements! Users. Mass is always impressive. The
sea. The quantity.

If the people use ideology (binary principle of primitive
mind) the knowledge itself should be broken into two -- how they
and how man define things.

There's enough evidence about the links between the two. The
task is to establish the differences.

Man kills himself, people die.

...

RESURRECTED HISTORY

The Bible expressly declares that the rulers of the
world shall then be immortal kings and priests (Rev.
1:5-6; 2:26-27; 5:9-10; 12:5); so that -- strange as it
may seem -- mortal and immortal men will thus be living
contemporaneously upon the earth.4 (By Dr. John Thomas)

What a mess this Bible! The first resurrection, did we miss
it? No? Then the rapture -- final resurrection. The third time
for poor Lazarus! Too much! It must be too early for the end.

DEVIL IS REAL

Evil and devil himself do have equal rights for
resurrection, no less than good and angels (will they be
resurrected as well?). They, the bad guys, have to be brought for
a trail first, not last. If they question of existence of evil
before, our times document it.

Yes, this first resurrection is a mystery. "Fathers of
Christianity"? Are we the second?

The other, the one who struggles miles and years away, the
devil tell me about myself only. You who lived before or after --
you know my agony. It's yours.

OBJECTIVISM

To place an individual in the center and call it "objectivism"?

Reason should make identification more important that
existence?

"Free scientific inquiry? The first adjective is redundant."
(Ayn Rand) I would say that both adjectives are unnecessary.

The law of identity does not permit you to have your
cake and eat it, too. The law of causality does not
permit you to eat your cake before you have it. (Rand)

"Logic is the art of non-contradictory identification."

Understanding -- resolving contradictions.

"Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are
facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that
one of them is wrong."

...

Europe lost itself in the triumph of modernity (WW II), the
postmodern was to follow -- the American Age.

Oh, the pretended plurality of democracy! Don't I remember
USSR and the Soviet elections?

Souls = Americans.

The great men have to wait long for their turn in resurrection line.

We are the ruins of Paradise.

How fragile the paradise is! When it falls apart, there's
little could be saved. Ashes! The Soviet Grand Might turned into
a mighty weakness. What about America?

Of course we believe in Unbelievable. What else "beliefs"
are for? Belief isn't a knowledge.

History is Disaster. If not for disasters we wouldn't have
any history. Who needs it, I mean, disasters.

...

The 3rd millennium and the second coming:
Human feelings -- "hope" -- not for my pomo world. Too late. What gods could hope for? Leave it to children. Borth paradise and hell have no need for it. I never understand why should we "teach" computers "feel" -- to understand our weakness?
When I think about the strict maturity ahead, I understand that we are about to see a lot of silliness. More indiots and more freedoms for them. Didn't I tell you that resurrection is a personal choice? The majority will never vote for it, because you have to die by choice first. Thanks a lot!
The good news is that Resurrection Age is less democractic than laws of nature. And it's here.

"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot." I'm sorry. You never right in paradise; you are always wrong but forgiven.

It's coming, it's coming -- the third millennium. First was of the Son's? Second was of the Spirit? The last of the Father? Let me think about it.

NOTES: There are more refine pages on this topic in Father-Russia Book, discussing Fedorov's concept of resurrection as a common task for all.