www.jeaninethurston.com

memories

As I got the call this morning that my grandpa had passed, you can’t help but remember all the little things. I remember stories being told to me about him (good and bad), and this is what I have – and it could be truth or not – as much of this is from when I was a young kid; so who knows if what I remember is fact – but it’s how I remember it.

He use to make my grandma cringe…. yeah – every time he would walk past her it would poke her or grab her neck and she would say “knock it off dicky.” He was fairly quiet until he wasn’t. He had a sawmill/lumberyard and we (meaning the cousins) would play and climb the logs and play around the saws and search for the stray cats hiding in the logs until he would come out and holler at the top of his lungs – getottahere! I think he did it less because he didn’t want us playing for safety reasons, and more because he loved to see us all run and scatter for fear of getting in trouble because we weren’t suppose to play in there.

Every dinner that we ever had at my grandparents house was followed by grandpa going to the recliner and taking a nap and taking over the TV with western movies. We would sometimes pester him until he took a swat at us…. and parents would be shushing us or telling us to play outside; but more than once I saw him grinning… because he took pleasure in watching us squirm and hustle.

He had a pig named BOOF BOOF. It was a 200 year old pig… well not really… he butchered it every year and got a new one, but it always had the same name every year and every get together it was an event to go see how freakishly huge the pig was. Then he would pick one or two of us and drape us over the gate telling us he was feeding us to the pig… until we squealed, and he got a huge grin on his face. He would grunt at us more than he would speak, but you knew when he was happy or amused.

He was a little evil (ok maybe more than a little), as he got a huge kick out of making the dogs scream… by pulling their ears until they yelped. I never said he was perfectly nice – again – he was most pleased by getting a reaction out of others, human or animal. He had a couple geese later than were quite mean… possibly because he hassled them – and yet for some reason no matter how much torture went on, we all loved him just the same – even the animals.

He would take us on tractor rides – or whatever fun farm thing he had to ride around in. Would go pick blackberries occasionally, and when I was really young he would help me find walking stick bugs around their house.

He was a logger all his life that was allergic to bees…. how that all works I don’t know – but obviously he lived to be 89 so either someone was telling me a fib or he was just damn lucky. He couldn’t read – and nobody really spoke of it, but when he got cards or there was something to read he would have my grandma or one of his kids, or us read things to him. He ran a successful business despite this shortcoming (or because my grandmother ran the show really). He built log cabins, and when he was in the hospital years ago with gall stones passing – I bought him a stack of timber house magazines… and sat with him for a couple hours… we didn’t speak more than two words. All he did was grunt smile and say neeno, yet you could tell he was happy I was there.

He loved his slot machines – and many times father’s day was spent at a casino. Yes… all of us, even the kids… (not so regulated back then). My grandma passed some years prior to this – but both of them were awesome and playing cards and dice was just something you learned young in my family. If you served him he loved it – make him breakfast or dinner and you got to the top of his list. He loved his money so much that he buried it all in jars…. and my grandma had a map of the treasure… to my knowledge he had dug it all up and spent it all after my grandma passed… but good for him!

Mance got the brunt of my grandpa’s sass… because my grandpa loved to trick people into taking a shot of 151 Bacardi. They felt compelled with his peer pressure to do a shot with him; unknowing that it wasn’t just a normal shot and he would giggle with pride like a child when they did the shot and then saw the burn of it on their faces.

He was not always nice to others that I love dearly, personally I think that my grandma held him together and made him a better man and once she passed he had lost the glue in his life. But I prefer to remember that I have a lot of amazing memories of him.

I got his sass, and his stubborn nature – I’ll take that. My last grandparent has passed.

There is no place to compare our children to others. Not to others in our household, not to others in school – because there is not one child out there like another. They love different things at different times, they learn things at different speeds. Their minds are so busy with taking in every bit of information, categorizing it, filing it, re-filing it and this is a never ending process. WE CAN encourage and lead by example… and we can accept that some children will learn information in different ways. Finding what they excel in and celebrating that can give them encouragement to work on some of the things that they maybe aren’t learning as quickly. Every child has something that can be celebrated… find that in your child.

Today, start a list… by listening. For a week keep a piece of paper on your counter and start writing down things that your child says, what interests them and make a collection of who your child is right now. Do this yearly, monthly, however often you can and put it with a photo when you are done. This is the most amazing memory book you can ever assemble – it allows you to see who your child is – a snapshot of their personality. Then take a day and celebrate all the things that make your child amazing and unique.

My grandmother passed many years ago from cancer and this is the last photo I have of her, my mother and myself. It doesn’t matter who takes the photo… or the fact that there is a nice JELLO advertisement in the background!lol But it does matter that I have this image. It is one of my most cherished photos. Yeah – of course I wish we had nice professional portraits of the three of us… but this will due and just a reminder of how AWESOME she was. My grandpa is fading, but still around… but still love photos we have of him too.

Sometimes you can close your eyes and see the place where you use to be or how you were when you were young. I want to photograph that place for your children, so they no longer have to close their eyes to see it.

The warm weather has me anxious to get some tutus outdoors. So we are having a free tutu day at a location in Boulder, CO on June 8th, 2014 from 9am-2pm! We dance, we play, and of course try on some custom tutus by Kimber Cyr of Kim’s Designs. If you have a little ballerina, or just a princess that loves her some tutus and pearls, then give us a call to set up your time. The day is very limited on times available, so please call or e-mail us as soon as you can! It’s photographs of your little ladies that they will be talking about for days, weeks, months and years to come!!!!

How does your memory work?

“How does your brain lay down and retrieve memories? Your brain is made up of 100 billion neurons. As you grow and develop, these neurons are ‘wired up’ to each other, and communicate through thousands of connections – synapses. Memories are formed when certain connections are strengthened.” ~sciencemuseum.org.uk

Regardless of the times when you talk and think nobody on the planet understands you – humans do remain great communicators. We use language by way of symbols and words that represent our feelings, ideas, actions, and qualities. This is complex – and yet our lives are becoming seemingly more complex and the flood of information and memories can get ‘filed’ in rarely recovered folders in our mind.

A photograph has the power to recover memories, increase mood – reminding ourselves of positive times that improve how we feel now. Looking at a printed photograph is valuable – people hold them or look at them in an album or on a wall and reminisce about the past. What is an experience 20-30+ years ago – and possibly long forgotten can create a “remember this” in your mind and bring stories increasing bonds between people. A printed photograph can make you remember your daughter bursting with laughter on the floor, the way your son loved to run fast as he could, completely free, and it can bring back stories of your grandmother and how she would hug you or the smell of fresh-baked bread. It revives your senses, it re-files your memories putting more pleasant thoughts in the current files of your mind. It brings you tears at times too – and that is what makes a photograph valuable.

It’s not just a piece of paper. It is lifetimes of vivid book marks connecting your memories. A printed photograph is one memory that connects many memories and sorts them in a more pleasant order…. that is what makes one photograph so special.

Think about your favorite few photographs that come to mind and take a minute to reflect on the emotions that those photographs provoke – that is the power of a photograph.

I’ve decided to continue on with 3 more posts on “A letter on my door step.” This will be post 3 of 5 total before the end of this blog heading. I feel like after the mass distribution and hundreds of thousands that have graced the pages, e-mailed me, and all of the amazing stories that I’ve had the chance to read, that I need to follow through for all that have started following my blog because of the post. In case you’ve missed any up until now, here is the order or far and what to expect coming up.

3. A letter on my door step: Waves formation (the post you are on right now)

4. A letter on my door step: Picture the results (coming soon)

5. A letter on my door step: Family (coming soon)

So obviously I’m sure to most that have been reading my recent posts and seeing the mass response – my personal view of what has happened is best described as a wave formation. Lovely description of such a thing in nature can be found at Action Sports Maui. I have personally had such extreme highs and lows the past 3 days – but I stand strong in the fact that I believe I did the right thing by posting the letter. The stories/experiences/feelings that came pouring in to me are overwhelming, while giving me such renewed faith in human nature and the the value of family, love and the healing power a photograph can give to them.

Emotions that have been expressed mostly by communications to me from viewers: Belonging – Love – Sorrow – Pride – Calm – Gratitude/Thanks – Empathy – Will… and that is just to start.

Call to action was what amazed me the most. I’ve had so many people telling me they picked up their cameras to photograph their loved ones immediately.

I guess from here, I would love to share a few images from my readers out there. If you happen to have picked up your camera and have taken a shot of a family member because of reading this post – or if you had some images taken at a portrait session, please share. Feel free to e-mail them to me at my gmail account: fototails@gmail.com. I of course can’t post everything everyone sends, so don’t feel slighted if I don’t post yours – but would love to post a few on my next post. I’ll just take the first 6 or 7 images I receive. Please – if you send something that a professional photographer took, also send a release with it and if you are the photographer, please include a logo on your image so you get credit. Only rated “G” photos please! If you have a little paragraph to go with an image about you or how this impacted you – I would love to add a little about it too.

There will be no portrait photos in this post. This letter wasn’t mailed – it was at my doorstep when I got home a couple months ago. I read it, I cried, and read it again – probably a hundred times by now. It wasn’t easy to read – and honestly, as much as it validates what I do for a living – I wasn’t sure I was going to share it either. If you choose to read through the letter, you will know why I’ve finally chosen to share it.

July 2nd, 2011

Jeanine –

Today I am writing for a couple of reasons. I have some quiet time at the moment and need to get a couple of things off my mind. I will leave this for my husband to deliver to you when he is ready.

You photographed my wedding, you photographed my first pregnancy and my first baby. I contacted you awhile back to photograph my 2nd child and family. After getting prices and realizing I would want all of the pictures as we love your work – I decided against spending $500+ – which is what I normally spend for portraits and prints with you.. Please know it is not because I don’t value your amazing eye, or how much we love the experience.

That week that I decided to NOT do a session with you, this is how I spent some money.

On Sunday I called and cancelled our session. Monday I went out and got my hair cut ($39+tip), and colored ($65), Thursday I had my nails done ($24), my family went out to dinner at a somewhat expensive restaurant for no particular reason costing us $79 + tip. This was just 4 days since canceling our session, already totaling over $200 for un necessary things. My nails only lasted about 2 weeks, my hair is gone, and seven weeks passed when I got the phone call from our doctor. It was not something I expected and the cancer has spread very quickly. I will be leaving my husband, my 6 year old girl and my now 2 year old – not by choice. It is very hard for me to talk about it which is why I need to write you.

I watch your Facebook page and your posts about the value of a photo and if I could give back all of those things that I purchased this few weeks after I cancelled my session with you, knowing what I know now, and have that session, well… I would do it in a heartbeat.

Now my time is done and there are no more chances for me. The next time someone cancels a session – my wish is that you forward this letter to them. Time is fragile, it is gone before you know you had it. If you charged $200 for one print it wouldn’t be enough for what it is actually worth. I cringe to think that my priorities were a manicure over a memory to pass onto my babies and husband.

My love and thanks for what you have given us from past photos. I am so sorry that I did not see it as more than paper until now.

Karen L.

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