Sponsored by: The Varsity Fort Worth

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Texas weather sucks. This is no secret. Texas weather is among the worst weather in the country as far as extremes. When it's hot outside, it's HOT outside; when it's cold, it can be like it is right now. And if there's anyone who's more angry about the coldest week in the history of Dallas than Jerry Jones, it just might be June Jones.

For those of you who have been iced in and completely tuned out the outside world this week, here's a recap: the "North Texas" Super Bowl has been an abject disaster. Well, not necessarily a disaster because all of these things minus the weather could've been forseen, but seriously, think about the facts. The two teams are staying over 25 miles from the site of the Super Bowl. The media is staying over 25 miles from the site of the Super Bowl. All of the Super Bowl related events are being held over 25 miles from the Super Bowl. This creates a disastrous situation in good weather, but in an ice storm? Let's just say Roger Goodell probably took Jerry Jones out of his "Super Bowl Host Committee" email list.

Of course, with the two Super Bowl teams practicing at the home of two division one football programs, the weather won't be an issue as far as practice is concerned, right? Because division one football programs worth their salt have indoor practice facilities, right? Yes... unless you're SMU, that is. And if the Packers lose the Super Bowl, that program is going to catch all of sorts of hell.

The Steelers have it good. If things don't work out outside in Fort Worth, they can walk 50 feet and go inside, which they have done. But in Dallas? You not only have to move locations, you have to move to a HIGH SCHOOL. Yep, SMU, the most cocaine fueled economic entity since the country of Colombia has to defer to a public high school when it comes to their Super Bowl host team. And while there are legions of Highland Park graduates spitting on their keyboards at the sight of me referring to their school as public, do not be confused - it is as public as Paschal, it's the neighborhood that creates the barriers to entry. How humiliating is that? Can you imagine if we told the Steelers that they had to go to Southlake to practice? You can believe Dan Rooney would get off of Obama's lap long enough to file a complaint with the league.

And, to make things even better, the Packers have to dress at SMU. Seriously, today I drove by SMU on the way to lunch and saw the entire Irving Police Department guarding the Packers buses as the players dressed out and got ready to board their yellow dogs on the way to a high school for practice. Ok, so they weren't on yellow dogs, but they may as well have been. Compare the situations here: The Steelers stay at the Downtown Fort Worth Omni, ride 10 minutes to the Sam Baugh practice facility, and then head home just as easily. The Packers have to stay at the IRVING Omni, ride 25-30 minutes to SMU, get dressed and then bus to a high school to practice, go back to SMU to clean up, then battle beatdown rush hour traffic on 183 to return home. If an NFC team ever lobbies for Jerry Jones to host another Super Bowl, then you'll know some extreme amounts of cash have exchanged hands.

SMU may have the Bush library and the Blvd, but at least we look the part of a successful football program.