Real advice from real people

“I’m scared to show her what I look like because I feel ugly”

I really need help… my girlfriend (I am also a girl) who I only know on Skype, is really pretty. We recently called and she calls herself ugly but she’s very beautiful. She has long, brown hair. She has flawless skin and she makes me all squidgy inside. She makes me feel so happy and wanted in the world. I can’t explain.

But now, she wants me to show her my face (she says I’m beautiful but she doesn’t know what I look like) and I look like an ugly human.I have acne and really weird hair. It’s not curly or straight. It’s just- I can’t explain it. It’s ugly but has a little bit of waves. My teeth are yellow and crooked and I have ugly glasses. I also need braces.

Some people say I’m not as ugly as I think but I have real self confidence issues. I know (hope) how I look won’t ruin our relationship but I need help on how to build up the courage!
Thank you for reading.

2 thoughts on ““I’m scared to show her what I look like because I feel ugly””

If she’s worth anything then your looks won’t matter. If you were going to ride any relationship out on looks alone, you wouldn’t get far, because looks fade. The fact that she’s already decided that you are beautiful without looking at you, means that SHE thinks you are beautiful. Don’t hesitate any longer or she’ll decide you are cat fishing her.

Look, we can’t pretend looks don’t matter at all, but we also can’t ignore the fact that plenty of people are together when we (outsiders) would not expect them to be, based on appearances alone.
The fact is, as much as tv, movies, ads, etc might convince us there’s one definition of beauty, real life continuously affirms that isn’t so. You never know the underlying factors that make one person think you’re gorgeous and another find you hideous. My last s.o. hated very pretty actresses- conventionally lovely actresses, who didn’t even give the impression that they would be all that bad if you met them I’m real life- solely because they reminded them of the girls who were bullies in high school. “So conventional and boring… Why does anyone think that’s pretty” was said of Charlize Theron… !!!
At the end of the day, personality influences how attractive we think people are, as does our own past experiences and perceptions. Take it from another girl with glasses, yellow teeth, and weird wavy hair… people always said I wasn’t as ugly as I thought, but it wasn’t until I started acting on that idea that I realized it might be true. I’ve dealt with more rejection since coming into my own, but I’ve also had far more affection and experiences I would’ve missed out on otherwise.
She may just find you beautiful regardless of what you think of yourself. But even if she doesn’t, that may not have anything to do with you at all. That’s an important distinction to make. The burden isn’t on you to be a perfect specimen of beauty. The burden is on them to appreciate who you are while you try to be the best person you can for yourself and the world. If they can’t see that (whatever the personal reason) then it’s best you find out now so you can move on- as you surely would deserve to do in that case.