If you remember that E! show about the chicks living at the Playboy Mansion, then you remember Holly Madison because she was the hottest one (yes, she was. stop your internal dialogue). Well, she has a book out now that basically says Hugh Hefner went around Bill Cosbying people and he once tried to buy her soul for $3M. She also described her time at the mansion as a “living hell”. New excerpts are dropping today, and to complete the circle of woman logic, she says she wanted to have a baby with him. She wanted a baby with the guy that she talked about in the second sentence of this opening paragraph.

‘I know how absolutely insane it sounds to want to have kids with someone in their 70s. You are basically robbing a child of his or her father before it is even born,’ she writes. Adding: ‘Now that I am a mom myself, the idea seems even more unpalatable.’ Holly welcomed her first child, daughter Rainbow Aurora Rotella, with her husband Pasquale Rotella on March 5, 2013. Writing about her baby plans with Hef, Holly explained that she saw it as a way of making all his other girlfriends leave. ‘I suppose I thought of it as a ticket out – in more ways than one. The last time the mansion had been multiple-girlfriend-free was when Hef was married and had two children.’ Unfortunately for Holly, her scheme was squashed when she discovered that none of the octogenarian’s sperm were viable. She said: ‘This was concrete proof slapping me in the face that there was no future for me at the mansion.’

We can break down that whole blockquote by basically just saying she wanted to get pregnant to get rid of every other ho at the mansion. That seems pretty stable and well thought out. It was a living hell, but if she could have had Lord Baelish combined their two houses then everything wouldn’t that much of a living hell or something. I don’t know. Can’t wait to read new excerpts from her book where she talks about her time as the president of the Playboy Mansion pool’s chapter of the NAACP.