“This So-Called Judge?”

“Good so-called morning,” Professor Plum said as he walked into the mail room.

He read the mail…. (More)

Professor Plum then left with Ms. Scarlet to join the resident faculty in the wine cellar library, where they’ll spend the weekend drinking thinking on our motto of Magis vinum, magis verum (“More wine, more truth”).

In the staff poker game, the Professor of Astrology Janitor looked at his so-called cards, the Ten of Hearts and Three of Diamonds. He knew he should so-called fold, but he sorted his so-called chips and put in a called the Squirrel’s so-called raise. Chef looked at her cards and put in a so-called pot-sized so-called re-raise. The Squirrel twitched his so-called tail and pushed his cards into the so-called muck. The Professor of Astrology Janitor took a so-called moment, as if pondering a so-called call, and folded. He began his so-called plaintive mewling, and Chef went to the so-called kitchen to finish her so-called Overnight Blueberry French Toast Casserole, leaving your lowly so-called mail room clerk to review the week’s so-called correspondence….

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

The opinion of this so-called judge, which essentially takes law-enforcement away from our country, is ridiculous and will be overturned!

We wonder if you want some cheese with that whine. That said, we note that “this so-called judge” graduated magna cum laude from Whitman College, graduated from the Georgetown University Law Center, where he was administrative of the Georgetown Law Journal. He spent the next 29 years in private practice with the Lane Powell firm in Seattle, where he became a managing partner in 2003. He is a fellow of the American College of Trial Lawyers, has served as president of the Seattle Children’s Home and former trustee of the Children’s Home Society of Washington. He and his wife have been foster parents for years, primarily fostering children from Southeast Asia. In 2003, President George W. Bush nominated him to serve as a judge in the United States District Court for the Western District of Washington, and he was quickly confirmed by a unanimous Senate. In short, we think “this so-called judge” is infinitely more qualified for his job than you are for yours …

… especially as you seem unable to grasp one of the most basic structures of our constitutional democracy: that both Congress and the Judiciary are independent branches of government and owe neither obedience nor allegiance to the current occupant of the White House. When we call you the God-King, we intend that as scathing satire, not as an accurate description of your role.

Finally, we suggest you pause to consider the question asked in the final sentence of our National Anthem: “Oh say, does that star-spangled banner still wave o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?”

Judging by your executive order and your tweets, your answer to Francis Scott Key’s question is a resounding and profoundly disappointing … “No.”

We conclude that, like most bullies, you are at heart a coward.

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Dear Ms. Crissie,

I like blueberries and they’re on my diet, although Mrs. Squirrel says they make me look like I’m wearing purple lipstick. Which I don’t. Anyway, can squirrels eat Chef’s Overnight Blueberry French Toast Casserole? If so, how would I make it?

Yeah It’s Me Again in Blogistan

Dear Squirrel,

We think Chef’s Overnight Blueberry French Toast Casserole would be far too sweet and far too rich for you. Also, your drey doesn’t have an oven, so you couldn’t follow the recipe at the link below. But Chef set some blueberries aside for you. Bon appétit!

Apparently one of the lessons Trump never learned from Roy Cohn was “lawyer’s maxim #1: Don’t piss off a judge.” In fact, given that his sister is a federal judge, I’m sure she’d be willing to smack him a few times upside the head about that “so-called judge” comment. This sort of thing is why I’ve said for years that business executives make terrible politicians. They really can’t deal with the idea that there are people who can tell them “NO,” and make it stick.