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It Wouldn't Kill You to Smile

Women are better at smiling than men are. They have significantly thicker zygomaticus majors, those essential smile muscles running from the eyes down to the corners of the mouth. This extra muscle may be genetic, because women have evolved to keep peace in family groups. Or it may just be that women smile more because they spend so much of the day trying to make men calm down and cooperate. Men, on the other hand, specialize in expressions of anger. Being big and bad is our default mode. But face it, we're no longer out on the savanna defending the tribe. So try smiling at people in the hallway for a change. It's not weakness, it's self-confidence.

But as with other lessons from the opposite sex, also beware of the gender rules. If a man smiles too much, or at the wrong time—in the middle of a serious argument, say—he risks looking weak. Candidate Barack Obama's easy smile and laid-back demeanor during last year's presidential primaries was one reason political consultant James Carville joked that Obama needed to borrow a cojone from Hillary Clinton. Characteristically, the candidate shrugged off the slight and kept his focus on the job. He also recognized that being friendly didn't detract from his masculinity, any more than acting like a mad dog made Carville more of a man. (And yes, you can borrow Hillary's cojones. There might be a strategic advantage in letting Madam Secretary tango with, say, North Korea's "dear leader," Kim Jong Il.)