Ramblings of a Mad Man (The Divorced Years)

Watch Waffles life after the Ex, will he die of masturbation, some crazy date, or alcohol poisoning with the marines

Friday, May 27, 2011

Arble Smorkie

4:35 - Time to run. It is motherfucking 85 degrees or more out. Smoggy skies. I know this is going to suck before I even start.

4:45 - Finished walking down to the river. Already feel my lips dry. This is so going to suck. Remind myself to take it easy. Start running on the mid part of the bridge.

4:46 OMFG what the hell am I doing.

4:56 - Glance at watch. Six minutes into run. Lungs burn. Can not breath well. Heart hammering. Slow run. Trying to catch breath. Decide since I am only six minutes into my run and half dead I probably should cut it off at 20 minutes.

5:00 - Finally hit the park. Not deep into it though. Going to turn around. Fuck it. Only ten minutes. Will end run at 20 minutes.

5:15 - slow. slow. pain creeping into legs. gut hurts a little. least I can almost breath again as long as I keep slow. slow slow.

5:20 - back to the bridge. Only five minutes left till I hit 30 minute run. might as well keep it going.

5:25 - Hit the starting bridge. Did it. 30 minutes in. Take a step up the ramp. So tired. Put head down on railing. ooh bad idea. Start walking back to building.

5:26 - Why do I keep peeing myself after my runs?

5:27 - OMFG. Hurt. Pain. Tired. Need water. Fuck.

5:28 - Wtf is this peeing myself?

5:30 - Here comes a hot chick. Hope she likes my manly pee.

5:31 - Finally realized I must have had a mini stroke because I thought I ran 6 minutes when I had run 11.. at least that made going 30 minutes easier..

5:32 - Almost back. Dying. Why can these people not see I am dying. Going to beg an ice cube off a homeless guy. No! I can make it!

5:34 - back to building. Escalator or stairs. fuck it! Stairs. I am stubborn. I could really use Kat's crutches.

Ninja Training

My ninja training has successfully begun. I think I will need these skills as I lead the Waffles revolution. I need to wake up all these communist sheeple like Jordon and Skiddoo. I blame them for our economic woes. Think about it. Jordon probably works a nice 60-80 hours a week on a good week. Right bro? I am just speculating but as a lawyer he probably does massive overtime.

You know what you commie cocksucker? There are fucking lawyers on the street begging for handouts because YOU ARE DOING THEIR JOB AS WELL AS YOURS! While your fat pig bosses rake in money left and right because they do not have to hire more people. If you just went home at 4:00 you would be doing a patriotic service to your fucking country. You goddamn traitor!

Skiddoo too. I bet he works fucking mucho extra hours at his slave pit. Fucking flying all over the place and working all these extra hours. If he was just a little more compassionate for the unemployed people out there then his company would have to hire another person.

While you un American cocksuckers work all these overtime hours people starve and die. Meanwhile your bourgeois overlords give themselves raises from 1.5 million to 1.7 million. They guilt you about not working hard enough then laugh all the way to their mansions and five blondes on the side which they fuck while on the phone with you telling you that your not working hard enough.

The Waffles revolution will come. The people will be freed from tyranny. If people would just listen.

My wife refuses to listen. She has been so angry about having to commute to work. Now part of this is because she is a spoiled bitch. I told her the solution though. I said to her "Just go to Weston like your allowed to and work there".. and when your boss says something just be like "oh yeah, I forgot".. or "yeah, but I forgot my PC in Weston". At the VERY least you will have fun giving your boss a fucking headache. Does the bitch listen? No. She is like Jorsheep and Skidoosheeeple. She thinks if she does not do everything the evil ones say she will be fired. Idiots!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Goals

So my running has been up and down. I was sick Monday so I skipped that day. My run on Friday was pretty good. I pushed it up to 40 minutes from my normal 30. Felt really good for most of the run.

Wednesdays run was meh. I felt winded after the first 10-15 minutes. I finished out the run. Slowed down as usual at the end. I ended up running kind of far towards Brookline, ending up on the BU campus after crossing the bridge.. so my walk back to the Hancock was tiring. I noticed my fingers were really swollen too. Weird. It felt like little fat sausages in a tight skin. My fingers are usually thin and supple. Not sure if I got a little dehydrated in the good weather or what.

I really need to get a new focus for my runs. Moving from the track to the Charles was a good change. It at least gives me a little better scenery. Since I have finished the Couch to 5k though I am kind of aimless.

I was reading an article with 63 suggestions to "Shake up" your run. I knew a bunch of the items and had fun reading about some others. The one thing I think I may add to my routine is Parkour training. It is like fucking being a Ninja! You should check out the beginner site here. It is pretty cool to see those guys do all those wacked moves. The ninja scaling of the parking structure is pretty cool too.

I had been doing like 70 pushups every other day. I think I will expand it out and do the Parkour exercises:

Start out with two sets of each exercise. Each week, add 1-2 reps to each exercise (2×12, 2×14, 2×15, etc.). After doubling the reps for each exercise (2×20), add another full set to your workout (3×20; you may have to temporarily reduce reps on that final set back down to 10 or less). When you can do 4×20, perform each rep a little faster, more explosively, to get in a more plyometric and aerobic workout. Eventually it ends up with 5x20 sets.

Should be kind of interesting and the core exercises should help my running. I am going to start doing this tonight and see how it goes. It should at least be fun. I may also add in a 4th running day where I just do sprints.

The last change I want to add is doing more heart zone training with the special watches. Basically you figure out what your heart rate should be while training and then you keep in that zone for different periods. The watches today can track your heart rate, elevation, location, speed, and all kinds of cool things. I will probably invest in one this weekend. They are actually pretty cheap. If you do not care about keeping the watch small and stylish you can get one for like 100 bucks. Peace.

What the Fuck

Figured I might as well friend the guy. Mostly because Jordon told me to. Least he lives in Florida so I probably do not have to worry too much. Anyways as proof that Waffles is smarter than you will ever be.. here it comes straight from the Facebook Page.

About Jamie I am a Male to Female pre-op transsexual. No ppl I am not Gay I am a straight female trapped in a mans body and world.

Not entirely surprising. What was kind of surprising was that he has a 9-year old daughter. She is gorgeous too. I would love to see what the mom looked like. Seems like he hooked up with some bombshell. See even Tranny's get better chicks than I do. Peace.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Motherfucking Panda!

Goddamn Panda got taken away again. I knew you were dying to know.

Running is going alright. I am kind of discouraged because I have lost zero weight and the last few runs around the Charles were really tough around the 15 minute mark.. then I slowed down and toughed it out till the 30 minute mark. Obviously the runs are different as I am going up and down hills, running on uneven pavement, and going across bridges. Fun times. I actually mentally enjoy them and hopefully my breathing and legs will catch up to my time spent running.

I have been lazy this week on the pushups too. Done about zero. Kind of feeling tired a lot. I think I may need to start on the Centrum Silver. I think when exercise makes you THAT tired every night and you start falling asleep at like 9-10:00 it probably means your body is not getting something it needs, right?

The other day I had a nice "Why you have kids" moment. The kids called the wife and were demanding she get them some junk food. She was tired and said no, then they got rude so she hung up. The boy calls back and the Wife hands me the phone and says "I am not talking to them". So I answer the phone "Gizzeppi's pizzza! How may I helpa you!". Click. The kid hangs up. The daughter calls next "VALLEY FORGE MILITARY ACADEMY, SERGEANT HARPER AT YOUR SERVICE> HOW MAY I HELP YOU!". click. I did Needham Taxi, and then finally at the end I go ahead and try "Ordey bordey boo you av reached Swedish chef's cooking school.. ere chickey chickey chickey ow may I elp ooo?". click. I think my kids might be dumb. The wife and I were laughing so loud. It was pretty funny. Peace.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The More I think About It

The more I think about it the more the leg spread apart thing makes sense. I mean in the olden days if a woman did not keep her legs crossed she was a slut. I think a lot of the old time ideas have some truth in them. The classic example that makes me believe this is right though is MEN. I mean every guy sits with their legs as far apart as possible. It is like we are a beacon that says "ya, I will fuck, you, you, you and.. you.. oh and you two afterwards". Guys are total sluts.

So what does it mean when I drive in the car with the Au Pair and her legs are closed, her arms are locked around them holding them closed, and her face has a look of disgust on it. Ah the life of Waffles.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Change of Venue

Not much going on. I read this interesting article the other day. Ever since then I check out chicks legs and see how far apart they are. You may think this is creepy and weird but it is not any creepier or weirder than my normal human interaction so I think I am alright.

I think I just got scammed in Warcraft. You see there was this cool Pandaren Monk Pet. I mean it is like Jack Black in your PC Kung Foo'ing your enemies! HIYAH! It really just stands near you and does Kung Fu moves. I would not pay for it in the Blizzard store like other people.. although it did go towards charity.. yeah, I am very charitable.. Anyhow some guy was selling them in game. The price was pretty cheap too. It was 5K gold which is really cheap. I thought about the angles like not giving me a valid code or what not.. but he agreed to give me the code then I would pay him AFTER I got my pet.

Long story short is the code was good and I got the pet.. but likely this guy was a credit card thief and gold stealer and I will probably have the pet taken away. I opened a ticket with Blizzard support to turn myself in. I just asked if I was doing anything wrong and am awaiting a reply. Hopefully this will stop me from being banned. There is a small chance I actually might get to keep my pet.. but I am not going to buy the other 25k worth of pets from him. The 5k in gold I will probably be losing is minor anyways since I have like 250k. I guess the old adage "when it sounds too good to be true it probably is" rings true here.

I changed my running system. Instead of doing the track I now run around the Charles river. I am going to try to run in different directions each time. The last run I had I was really winded. I am not sure if this was because I had skipped a run or what. Tonight is my next run. So far the only problem with these runs is that it is 40-50 degrees every day and raining. So I start off freezing my balls off. Not a lot of fun.

Hoyazo is a moron. I do not mind his opinions. They parrot some of what Bill Rini says but take a look at what a professional says compared to some hack moron lawyer. Hoyazo says everything he speaks is fact when he is totally guessing at many points. I hope his day work is not as shoddy as his blog posts else he probably gets sued for malpractice a lot. Bill speculates on possible issues and takes each possibility and expands upon it. Difference between a hack and a pro. Also as his comments state Hoyazo should shut the fuck up when he is promoting UB and AP all the time. Anyway it is just a crappy blog so who gives a fuck. I do so like calling Hoyazo a moron though. Moron. Moron. Moron! BWAHAHAHA. Excellent way to start my day. Peace.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Here is a Questions..

You are in High School and you kinda make friends with this weird ass kid because he has no friends but you have no friends so it is probably a good match. It was like when he saw me on the street and caught up to me we were friends.. if I escaped detection then not so much. You are not sure you want to be friends because he is really odd and kind of smells a little and well if you think he is weird that is saying something.

Thirty years later you check your Facebook. The guy has changed his name to Jamie Leigh. You do not recognize this name but you look over and see his original Facebook name is Mark Wayne. Hopefully no relations to John Wayne Gacey.

Do you like make the same mistake you made thirty years ago? Do you like assume he cooler now that he has grown up and become an adult? Additionally do you think that the name Jamie indicates a sex change? Has he traded in his sausage for the minimalist look? Do all people with Wayne as a middle name kill people with cereal?

I noticed this guy is a fireman too.. All cops and firemen are either gay or fucking mental assholes who just want to dominate someone so they try and become Marines or FBI but they are too fucking retarded or the psyche screens weed them out so they become cops or firemen. Based on the Village people this could also work into the sex change angle.

Goddamn Bitch

The boy had a REALLY fun night. He went 2-0. The first one was a dribbler down the third base line. He was able to hustle it out to a base hit and then he stole two bases. Unfortunately his suck team was not able to get him home.

The second one was the awesome hit though. His nailed this pitch from one of the best pitchers in his league. This kid is a SEVENTH GRADER my son told me. ooh. ahh. Anyway the pitch went to solid middle-outfield. The center fielder could not catch up to it and it then rolled all the way to the fence. BOOM!

The kid told me afterwards "I could have made third base but I stood around at the plate watching my awesome hit!". Um, yeah, we will work on that.

I was really excited as this is the furthest he has hit ever. He was kind of excited too. The batting lessons seem to be really paying off.

So since "she who should not be named" hates all joy in life she told me this morning that JMan can not take any more batting lessons. Too many things are coming up that she has not prepared for so he is not allowed to spend money on lessons. um... yeahhh.... the more I think about it the more I am going to just say "fuck you". I know lessons are expensive but it makes him so happy. Peace.

Effing Blogger

I read VeryJosie the other day (probably deleted by blogger) and she was talking about how Full Tilt is not owed any loyalty and how they are probably fucking rats that will stiff everyone. I have no problem with her saying these things and she may be proven right. I would be EXTREMELY surprised if it happened.

It goes to show the difference between the old school bloggers and these new kids though. I really like the new kids. They are very nice people. Some of my favorites. However I think they have no clue how much we have been given.

It is not just the Full Tilt and Pokerstars sites that I feel loyalty to. I mean at the bottom they are just money hungry companies like any other. The bloggers that stuck their necks out to get stuff done are why I feel loyalty to these two companies.

I mean back in the day when people like Hank, Al, Otis, went to their evil taskmasters and were like "Hey these bloggers are good people and we should do [x] with them".. they stuck their necks out. Nobody was sure what kind of result would occur. We got paid advertising, BBT's, extra gifts added to blogger events, free food, all kinds of WSOP packages. In total I am sure we go back wayyyy more than we added to the bottom lines of these places. All because good, old school bloggers were willing to either hit up their bosses, put their reps on the line, work really hard and get things done.

We as a group as a whole has shown no appreciation for any of this. I do not say this to be an asshole and I realize that their are circumstances in many cases but we have kept the money for WSOP packages, we have taken money at our events and then if our ten bucks is trapped online for a week all of the sudden we turn like vapid vermin and attack our benefactors.

Like I said before I do wish that Full Tilt would communicate with more people in a more open way. They have NEVER been good about that. I applaud Pokerstars getting money back to people so fast. It really is top notch customer service. I personally think that Full Tilt is going to get there. I believe it because of all of the awesome things they have done for us as a group in the past. I believe it because they have done nothing that makes me doubt them. I will believe it until I am proven wrong. Until then I will not act like a spoiled brat. Peace.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Why?

Why does nobody ever listen to me? I am ALWAYS right. Period. However nobody ever listens. I keep trying to give my wife job advice. She was all upset because she was going to be in at like 8:30 instead of 8:00 for her early support shift. I was like "Fuck em". I mean they make you commute to Boston for no reason so why should you give a shit if your an hour late? She just does not get it. I told her to chant in the car "Mike can lick my taint.. Mike can lick my taint".. She refused to do it! I mean she had to ask me what the taint was first.. then she was like "NOOOOO! I can not say that!". Damn lifers who believe their jobs care about them or something. Makes me sick.

One of these days she will listen and her job will suddenly be much nicer.

I saw this guy in the lobby of the Hancock building playing an accordion. I almost went up and asked him if he was homeless. I really fucking hate these hired musicians that play music during lunch. The violin hurts my ears. Almost all of the instruments sound cheesy solo. The Asian flutist would be the exception. Hubba hubba! Peace.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Posting

I keep having good ideas for posts then I forget them in my addled old age. Ah well.

Some days I feel great about working out. I look in the mirror and see nice big shoulders, tight chest, definition in the arms, and figure I am doing something right. After 80 pushups you kind of feel good.

Other days I feel uninspired. See my big tummy. Look at the scale saying I have gained 4 pounds since I have started working out and jogging 2.5 miles 3x a week. I feel tired, worn out, old. Blah. Meh.

I need to do more inspiring runs. Something more fun. I think I am going to switch my schedule around, take a bag to work, and jog on the Charles after work. I can walk down there as a warmup and do a nice run then come back to work, grab my bag, and take the later train home. Might be a little more mentally challenging than the track.

I do remember getting a little bit tired of the track at the end of my last C25K. Once your just running the same amount every day it gets a little monotonous at the track.

On the good side the Au Pair got a tick. Now I know you are scratching your head and thinking "How is that good Waffles?".. Well, assuming she has no lime disease, it was pretty kick ass when she came out to the kitchen wearning short-shorts, showing those never ending legs and asking the wife about the bite. I swear my eyes almost fell out of my head. Peace.

Daniel on UB

There is one thing that frustrates me to no end. It's been a fight I've been fighting for a decade now, and I'm so very disappointed in how few top players would publicly join the fight with me. Privately, most are disgusted by UB, but publicly they've not said a word. As a poker community, we failed miserably when it comes to the AP/UB tragedy. I did my best to always warn people not to support that company. I've told people there are plenty of safer places to play and that we shouldn't reward thieves/crooks/cheats/liars by giving this group a pass. As a community it was our responsibility to blackball this organization ages ago. Instead, too many in the media, and players a like, were weak willed and willing to give them a pass. It's a shame.

I have always liked Daniel Negreanu. He wrote up some of his thoughts on the whole UB thing. I am in total agreement with him. If your a friend of mine then sure I feel sorry that your likely going to lose your money.. but you were a moron for playing there.

On another note I am totally confident that Full Tilt will pay people back but what the fuck? I mean you guys have been basically totally quiet. Give people some more information. I have to give Pokerstars the most respect for their handling of the whole situation. It seems as if everything has been taken care of in a fast and efficient manor. Good job!

Monday, May 09, 2011

Commuter Buddies

Mothers days was kind of cool. I ignored my mom. However the kids were really nice to their mom. I was kind of amazed. SGirl got up early and (with help) cooked breakfast in bed. Not too shabby for an 8yr old. The part that really surprised me though was JMan going outside and cooking hamburgers and hotdogs for dinner. I basically just fired up the grill and told him to keep the charcoal burning for like 30-40 and then go ahead and cook. I checked to make sure he turned the gas off correctly too. Everything else he did himself. It all came out awesome too. I fear this is more evidence that he is gay. Doh!

Batting lesson was awesome for the kid on Sunday. I got him a full hour and they worked on making good contact and adjusting a few things in his stance. He started hitting really deep balls on the pitching machine at like 50mph. Not bad. He also had a great practice and knocked a few balls into the outfield. He also made such good contact that a lot of his ground balls were bobbled by the fielders and he was able to make it to base. I am going to try to get out of work early Tuesday and see a real game. I have been kind of busy lately and his games start at like 4:00 so it is kind of hard. He was totally excited about his hitting which was nice to see.

The wife has been pissed off at her work. The bastards are forcing her to commute into Boston now. So we are commuter buddies. Today was the first day. She made me miss the commuter train so we had to take the Green Line. She often makes me miss the train but now that SHE missed it she was pissed off. She also did not have anything to read. We will see how this all works out. She really wants to get a different job but is having trouble finding one.

Exercise continues. I missed a day last week so just started on the 30 minute runs this Saturday. The first run was a little tough. Not sure why. I did it on a different track so maybe that was part of the problem. I just felt really winded. Weight loss stays at zero. Boo. I need to adjust my eating habits. Pushups are still at like 78 three times a week. I look like a Marine obviously. Boooyah! Hah! Not really. Although I do think I have some definition and can see a lot of sleek muscle in my shoulders, legs and arms... It's just the tummy I need to deal with. Peace.

Friday, May 06, 2011

R#

Resharper. Our powers that be have forced this upon us. I actually kind of like it. I treat it like a video game. Basically what the product does is go through your code and nit-pick things. "Hey that is not necessary" or "You could do it this way instead". Most of the things are small like using the right capitalization in your code to keep consistency and things like that. It shows you a sidebar (skinny) that has all these colored lines where it says you have made mistakes.

I treat these like a video game. Sort of like achievements in Warcraft. I love achievement dings. :P. So basically I go through and see how many lines I can get rid of. *pew* *pew* gone. Most of the lines exist in other peoples code. Also there are some things I disagree with... like some of the redundant things like declaring a double and assigning it a value of 0. Obviously it starts with a value of zero so this is redundant.. but I sort of like the obviousness of it.

It also wants to turn a ton of fornext loops into Linq. I get the point but I do not think ANYONE would be able to follow my code then. Linq is a little bit tough to follow at times...

Anyway between fixing my co-workers unwillingness to check dictionaries to see if values exist and fucking with R# I have a lot to do. Peace.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Wank Off Bitch

I read shit like this and this. His article is kind of a blathering ramble trying to cover every point all at once.

He starts with saying "Oh yeah PS and FT lied to you, no way you could know they were mis-coding transactions". He then goes on to recant this in his second article. I mean I think it was obvious to ANYONE with half a brain that FT and PS were doing something below board to bypass the UIGEA in some way. Albeit possibly not buying banks but once the banking regulations kicked in you had to know they were coding transactions in some different manor.

I guess I just do not get the point of his articles. It is all this shame on you bullshit. Did they sites do something illegal? Probably. Do I blame them? Not at all. If you want to be angry with a company try Absolute and UB. I am almost sure that nobody will see a dime of their money from those companies. You can not say I did not warn you.

I personally do not feel lied to or cheated by PokerStars or Full Tilt. I think Full Tilt and Poker Stars have been the best thing for online poker since Party pissed it's pants and raced out of the market as fast as they could. I think we have a lot to be thankful for in both these companies. They shaped our online experience and supported our hobby for YEARS and YEARS. I for one feel a great deal of loyalty to them.

Even though I am not being paid for the ad on the side of my blog anymore (I think) it is going to stay up. As long as Pokerstars and Full Tilt pay their players I will not feel lied to or cheated. I feel that the companies did awesome things for us. They deserve our support.

I will say this with one caveat. It is shitty the way they are handling US affiliates. If the money was earned it should be paid out. Period. If you can get money to US players you can get it to US affiliates. I can see cutting off future payments for foreign players because of difficulties sending Americans funds but you need to make good on existing pending payments. Damn it Jim he is a Doctor! Get it right!

I look back fondly on my experiences with Pokerstars and Full Tilt. I hope they are eventually allowed into the American market place. I probably will end up playing at Harrahs.com or whatever Vegas properties become the next boom. I may even feel a little guilty until I rake that first massive pot. Peace.