The Black Sheep

5 Reasons to Launch Yourself in Front of the 43 Red Bus

It’s about that time in the semester when we all begin to wonder if getting hit by the 43 Red Bus would actually be that bad. There are less than three weeks until Stop Day and four weeks until summer, so everything is within reach, but let’s face it, that’s still a really fucking long time. So, if you feel like getting hit by that 43 Red, you’re not alone. Here are 5 reasons to jump front of that fucking bus:

5.) The weather is bipolar as fuck:Yeah, we get it, this is Kansas. You know the saying, “if you don’t like the weather, wait an hour, it’ll change.” Friday is 75. Sunday is 35. Tuesday is 70. April in Kansas, it’s great. One day you expect to roll out of bed in shorts and a t-shirt but end up having to throw on two pairs of pants and a heavy coat so you don’t die on your walk to Wescoe.

4.) You have to actually try in school:It’s grade saving SZN, folks. It’s that time of year where you try to pack a semester’s worth of effort and learning into the final stretch to turn that low C into a high B so you aren’t a complete failure. We all do it. So know we’re all in this together. Except those of you who try for a full 16 weeks. Fuck you, nerds.

3.) Basketball season is over:Let’s face it. We go to a basketball school. We “have” other sports, but we couldn’t tell you more than two guys on our baseball team, or if they’re actually any good. They must not be because if they were, we would’ve gone to a game at some point (but that’s besides the point). We’re past the stage where we have something to cheer for during the year so there’s not much to keep us going and it’s tough to justify waking up and drinking at 10 a.m. on a Saturday if the Hawks aren’t playing.

2.) Finals are coming:Like we said, there are only four weeks until finals, meaning we’re close to the end, but closer to potential death. Staying up until 4 a.m. to study for that ECON exam you’ll probably fail anyway. Taking Adderall to try and actually focus in physics class. It’s really just as deadly as getting hit by a bus anyway, so what does it matter?

1.) We’ll have to do it all again next semester:College is a viscious cycle. You go through 12 weeks of fun, four weeks of torture, a short break, and then you grind it all out again. For most of us, we’re stuck in that cycle for at least another year, and for those of you graduating, you’ll have to stop drinking on Wednesdays and get a real job, so nobody really wins. We’ll all be feeling this struggle next semester, and the semester after that, so why not end it all now?

Sure, four weeks seems like an eternity, but we’re here to tell you it’ll all be okay. Not in an “it’s actually going to be okay,” kind of way, but more like a “we’re just being nice, and we’re all in this shit together,” kind of way, so grab yourself a cold one, crack open that calc book, and start studying because this ride’s about to get bumpy… unless of course you actually find yourself in front of that 43 Red.