Chris Rock Has Had Enough of Supposed Baby-Mama

Comedians and DNA tests seem to be very big these days. However, unlike Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock was proven not to be the father of the child that a woman is accusing the comedian and actor of fathering. Kali Bowyer claimed that Rock was the father of her 13-year-old son, claims which were disproven by a paternity test. And now, Chris and his wife, Malaak, have decided to speak out, releasing a joint statement. Here’s an excerpt:

Last week it was concluded through DNA testing that Chris is not the father of Ms. Bowyer’s son. We have spent a tremendous sum to litigate this case and are asking our attorney to pursue all legal remedies against her. Additionally, we would like for any monies Ms. Bowyer has taken from the tabloid media based on this false story to be donated to Bulloch County, GA charities for the benefit of disadvantaged boys and girls.

I can totally seeing this happen to me years down the road, once I’ve established an illustrious career as a famous blogger. All these baby-daddies are going to be showing up, claiming that I’m the mother of their children. Damn the wild life-style of my past/present! I’m going to end up having to pay for it later.

I saw Chris Rock at the House of Blues in Hollywood a few years ago when Morris Day and the Time were playing there. Chris lost his bodyguard and couldn’t find the VIP entrance, so he was walking around looking all lost and scared in front of the regular people entrance. He almost jumped out of his skin when I walked by and said “Wassup Chris?” in a loud and drunken voice. That guy is short and skinny and looks like a thirteen year old kid with a pre-pubescent stubble. It is just more proof of what a really amazing afro-disiac money is. Word, yo.

This little rant was posted on SFGate’s Daily Dish online column by someone claiming to be “Kali Bowyer”; Chris better hope she grinds her axe waaay down before she comes after him with it….:

Dear TMZ/CHRIS ROCK
Please see the attached email from Chris Rocks lawyer (the one who I had been beating down his door), but gee I thought he said I never talked to them, I guess they forgot that I kept all the emails, all the phone records, along with written correspondence documentation over the past years. Chris is the one who is full of shit. We are having a second test done (that was agreed upon in court, perhaps he forgot that also), and still have to go to mediation.(did not get the memo in regards to the protective order?) guess he left that out of his statement. Maybe if someone has career in slandering white people he should not sleep with them at the same time! Just a thought. Maybe the washed up comic who’s last movie sucked, should be tested for Alzheimer’s disease, he sure forgets a lot these days. No I do not have an extensive criminal record! I hardly call a first offenses DUI an hardened criminal, or a misdemeanor for that matter! I have a question to Chris are you still abusing those prescriptions? You did not ask the courts for help you dumb ass, I did and when told I could not request a DNA test because of where you lived, and the biggest bad ass paternity lawyer was coming after you, that is when you filed here. Get it straight. I got the copies of that to! Oh, not to mention the phone records that show every phone call to your sorry ass lawyer in CA. Feel sorry for my son, no bitch feel sorry for your dysfunctional marriage. FYI, keep in your pants you would not have problems if ya’ did! Remember the model, if you forgot her here is just a reminder for you http://www.knbc.com/entertainment/8982842/detail.html .
See You Court,
Kali Bowyer

With regards to the news story the “alleged” Ms. Bowyer tagged on the TMZ site, I fail to see how it would even come close to legitimizing her rant. The story clearly states that a PI violated, without his clients’ knowledge, certain federal laws. The only comments pertainent to her beef with Chris Rock are that he had hired this PI at one time to investigate the model who was claiming paternity for her child. The only clear connection I see is that both Ms. Bowyer and the model made false claims agaist Chris Rock.

I am not a huge fan of Rock’s. His stuff is either hilarious or merely there. However, I do feel for the guy because once one becomes famous, all gloves are off when it comes to people wanting to make money off of your name.

A reliable paternity test is $400 or less. It is easy to perform. A cotton swab is rubbed in the inside cheek of child and potential father, then tested at a lab. Quick, easy, cheep. The reason they are not performed more often in these circumstances is to keep plausible deniability. Once someone is found to be the father through dna testing (98% chance is the best they can do), it limits their ability to claim they are not.