A fellow firefighter ran a call for the intoxicated subject lying on the street. This guy was drunk as shit, enormous, and smelled to high heaven. They checked him out, got him on the stretcher, and started moving to the ambulance. Another large, drunken hobo jumped out of the tree line and asked my friend if he could ride too. 2 AM wasn't the time to argue, so my buddy let him hop on. In transport, hobo #2 jumped on top of hobo #1 and they started furiously making out. Imagine a decomposing Paula Deen spit swapping with a rotten butter covered cactus. Imagine zombie Bear Grylls and a truck stop urinal love session. Imagine Rosie O'Donnell. Imagine the nastiest smelling hobo making out with the second nastiest smelling hobo and you may imagine how awful this sight was. They get to the ER where I was transferring a patient and were still on the stretcher. The charge nurse asks hobo #2 to please get off and he starts drunkenly screaming, "I'm not leaving my brother!" We registered both as patients and sure enough, they had the same last name and address.