Taking The Offensive

People are like mirrors, always reflecting the same attitudes that they
think others have towards them.

Be First To Show Interest In The Other

The best way to favorably impress someone is not by telling them marvelous
things about yourself, but by letting them know that you are favorably
impressed by them.

You love whom you truly believe love you. The secret to winning someone's
love is to first convince him or her of your real, genuine love for them.

Showing interest in the other person first means being the first to:

1.Smile

2. Make eye contact and acknowledge them

3. Extends a vocal greeting

4. Try to engage the other person in conversation

5. Suggest the possibility of getting together for some sort of date.

Taking a visible interest in the other person is the first step to winning
their heart. It immediately fills their need for attention and paves the
way for future progress.

Go For One Date At A Time

As soon as you have gained someone's attention by showing enough interest,
it's time to begin building a relationship. You need to spend time together
with the one you want.

A date is simply an opportunity to interact with the one you want on
a personal level, one to one.

The first date can be very uncomfortable for both parties. You are getting
to know the other person, and learning about their likes, dislikes, or
other things that you didn't know before.

Be yourself. Leave the other person a warm feeling of having spent an
interesting and enjoyable evening with you.

Something magical happens when human beings spend time together. They
grow on each other. There is a psychologically binding effect.

However, don't reveal your anxiousness in asking for more dates. It is
dangerous to ask for more than one date at a time. This can frighten off
a potential sweetheart before the binding effect has even began. At the
same time, don't settle for less than a real date. A relationship can't
grow just by seeing someone everyday at class, work, or in some other
neutral setting. This won't provide enough electricity to adequately charge
the relationship.

Set your sights on that first date. Work for it until you succeed in
getting it. Then after completing a date and giving it a little time to
be digested, go for another one. Don't push for too much commitment at
once. By focusing on one date at a time, you will actually be building
the relationship.

In developing a relationship, you must spend time with the person, one
on one, to build it properly. This requires many dates, but only ask for
one date at a time.

If the one you want seems hesitant to grant you time even for a single
date, be creative. Think of something you can ask the person to do with
you, even if it involves as little as fifteen minutes. Little by little,
you will surely reach your goal.

Avoid Being Defensive

By allowing ourselves to remain open and vulnerable to another human
being, even in the face of rejection and feeling foolish, we show our
sincerity and true greatness of character. This will persuade others to
become similarly open with us.

On the other hand, becoming defensive when someone hurts you by not responding
to your attention will only reinforces their distant attitude and makes
the other person feel justified in their initial standoffishness towards
us. No matter who you are, you are going to experience some degree of
rejection in trying to win someone's heart.

By exhibiting a sort of "If you don't want me then I don't want
you" type of attitude, we demonstrate very clearly that our ability
to be a true friend is shallow.

Make the effort to achieve unconditional friendship and stick with it,
even if the going gets tough. Don't get defensive just because the sincerity
of the love you extends doesn't seem to sufficiently impress itself upon
someone's heart when you first offer it.

Allowing yourself to become vulnerable to another human being shows that
you care more about the person than their actual reactions to you. Over
an extended period of time, this type of treatment is guaranteed to product
positive changes in that person's behavior towards you.