In addition, all inmates are to be provided with a clothprint photograph of a holiday beach animal at rest:

All inmates are to receive 10-minutes additional dark time in the de-sense tanks. Wish them a happy holiday before they enter.

Please Note: USA law may still apply to actions at custodial facilities. Please consult USA and local law before administering dark time.

All Texas Deep-6 Ultramax Pit Cans:

One extra humans-grade meat drop will be provided by Nice Food of Galveston. Please open drop hatch on Christmas Day and await helicopter food drop. Be mindful of crawl-outs and arm percussion barriers. The Eyes of the Board are upon you after last year's failure to prevent the laceration deaths of nine non-capital clients. North American Panopticon is a for-profit rehabilitation service, not a horror trap slowly closing its iron jaws around human civilization.

Do you believe Chairman Petteridge to be demented? No? Then do not conduct yourselves as though you are sick, hate-filled organs in a precision meat machine that lives and devours to dehumanize and propogate its own cancerous tissues into the body of humanity. Applebee's Sector Slam inmates to receive: