Master Star crossed over to Rainbow Bridge at 6pm on 14 December. He was 20 years of age. We miss him so much and he will be forever in our hearts.

STAR HAD THE MOST PAWS-ITIVE CATITUDE!

How blessed we were to have had Star as our constant companion for all these years and he has loved so many brother and sisters and feathered friends and puppies including many humans. We were totally dependent on one another. This is why I am grieving so intensely --Star had been with us for 20 years of our almost 26 years of marriage come December 20th, 2016. So once again we are rearranging our hearts and our lives .... this really hurts the heart and soul.

Star came into my life while I was working and only I saw him ... he saw me. No one else at work ever saw this beautiful black kitten. I would go outside on a break and Star would peek around the corner of the building. This went on for a few weeks until one day, I was getting into my car. I was leaning over to put my briefcase on the passenger seat with the door wide open. And there was Star, between me and the open car door.

‘You’re coming home with me," I said as we stared at each other.

He straddled across the passenger head rest and rode beautifully down the highway completely calm. He was ready for his life with us! We drove up to the driveway and the journey of our wonderful life began that day.

I loved my black cat and Star loved me immediately. I had four other pups and eight Persians, and they all welcomed Star immediately into the family.

Star owned all of our hearts! Over the course of 20 years, for instance, Star had his own routine that he’d do most mornings. While sitting on my bed putting on my shoes, he would drape himself across my lap. I would hug him and he would reward me with a big gentle "head butt." This was something he did with all of us every day and over his life with us, he must have given out over one million head butts.

I have no idea what to do with my mornings now that Star has cross over to Rainbow Bridge as he was always there for me, giving out his love.

My relationship with Star was amazing and he was the most loved fur baby in the household. There were never any conflicts with him and he was never ill.

He did this all on his own crossing Rainbow Bridge with his brothers and sisters here. I went to the store tonight. I knew he had been under the weather and we always got him the B12 shot that perked him up the last few years. Last Friday Dec 11th was his last B12. He was just ready to Meet His Maker at 20 years old. There were no signs of anything wrong with him, he didn’t have a fever; his heartbeat was good and his kidneys were working well; and he still gave out head butts to everyone – even my Vets’ loved Star.

I felt something was wrong this time when he had his B12 shot, and think Star was trying to tell me as well. Me being gone to the store tonight made it easier on him to go to heaven — and not having me there was part of his comfort. Knowing it would totally devastate me and break my heart.

Danny came home while I was at store and called me on my cell letting me know what happened to our Star-- I fled home as quickly as I could with heavy tears in my eyes through the glare of headlights to get home to Star.

He is now with Summer, my cat that went to Rainbow Bridge on Oct 14th, and my pup Shumpaw who went to Rainbow Bridge on Oct 22nd on my precious deceased Mother's birthday. What a double heartache that month but a celebration as I am sure Mother was there as Shumpaw and Summer ran into her arms and they reunited with the rest of my fur babies "up there.”

I keep repeating the words: “Thank you Star for the wonderful life you have given me and our hearts and allowing me to know this love.” I am sure Star heard me, I kept repeating, “I’m sorry.” I still am.

The fact that our pets are so dependent on us makes it all too easy to second-guess our decisions and descend into a pit of guilt. Shouldn’t I have known? Did I do everything I could? If I had just . . . what? Taken him to the vet sooner? What if I had been home? I might not have been able to save him, but at least in his last moments he would have known I was with him, and maybe that would have made it a little easier for him if not for me.

This grief will not pass easily this time. My mourning is as active and full-blown as Danny's and the other fur babies are walking around and coming to me for me to "hug" them as well --- they are all aware of what’s happened.

It occurred to me that I needed to sit around and cry a little less and to grieve, publicly, a little more. So here I am writing about my wonderful precious black cat that had my heart from day one that took a little bit of my heart again tonight with him. Never will there be another like him - ever.

More than just a CAT! Thankfully, many of my closest friends and family members will be wonderfully sympathetic with us, and for that I’m grateful. Others have seemed reluctant to talk about my grief as it has happened more frequently lately. But I love growing old with my fur babies and I suspect that it’s because they’re trying to stay in denial about the prospect of losing their own animal or trying not to remember the death of a previous one. Again I am sorry for your loss as well as talking about mine. I know you feel my pain. I need to process my love for this beloved baby of my grief by writing, so that’s what I’m doing. You need to capture the memories, so you don’t forget. I will never forget our Star!

There’s one more task ahead of me/us to prepare a special place for Star, who was our oldest ever baby.

For our many fur babies that have crossed over to Rainbow Bridge - we prepare them and they are laid to rest out at our farm LOVE MY PETS. The headstones say: “Thank you ....” The days are getting shorter, though. The ground is wet. I’ve been looking at headstones and, more important, composing the words that will go on Star's .... yes it’s going to be tough one!

We love you Master Star. Hug all our other fur babies for us and give them those special head butts you’re so famous for.

All our love, forever, your Mama and Daddy and the Wild Animals at LOVE MY PETS FARM which you helped to create.