Gotta say Alf hopes the book is thrown at the Greenpeace tossers who staged the day-long protest yesterday over what they say is government inaction on climate change.

Even better, let’s throw a library of books at them because this should inflict greater hurt.

The tiresome foursome are believed to have used scaffolding at the rear of Parliament to get onto the building, then make their way to the ledge which overlooks the forecourt.

Alf didn’t pay much attention to their antics, but it seems they placed solar panels there and unfurled a benner with a photo of the Prime Minister, John Key, and the words “cut pollution, create jobs – yeah, nah”.

They seized on the fact that five MPs plus partners will jet off tomorrow on a $138,000 tour of Europe led by Parliament’s Speaker, David Carter.

They failed to note that Mr and Mrs Grumble were not among the chosen couples.

Nor did they bother to ask Alf what he thought about being overlooked – yet again – for inclusion in the annual Speaker’s Delegation that will visit France, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Poland and Germany over 14 days.

Had they bothered to inquire they would have been told that Alf was livid, especially in light of the fact a bloody Green would be going on this jaunt.

Moreover they would have been told the trip was an outrageous junket and a scandalous waste of public money.

Hopefully the reporter would not then have asked if Alf’s attitude would be different if the Grumbles had been included in the jet-setting party.

According to a report in the Herald on Sunday, the living standards of the Grumble family could be seriously eroded by plans to make it harder for politicians to hire relatives in taxpayer-funded jobs.

Dammit, we aren’t talking about incest here.

It’s nepotism. And nepotism happens to simply mean giving family members pride of place in the old boys’ network.

But it looks like some tossers want to limit the exercise of this form of favouritism, which takes blood lines into account.

Good old Tau has summed things up pretty nicely when he says Opposition attacks on National Party fundraisers, where individuals can pay for access to ministers, is Labour Party envy.

Alf is bound to say he was deeply disappointed by Labour and NZ First attacks on the Government yesterday and their claims to have proof that The Boss was involved in talks to ease citizenship restrictions for wealthy foreign investors.

As Stuff explains here, those allegations came out of reports on National Party events run throughout the country, called Cabinet Clubs.

Labour can’t have Cabinet Clubs because they are in opposition. They are bound to stay there, too.

They could try running Shadow Cabinet Clubs, of course, although Alf can’t imagine why anyone would talk to the shadowy buggers who would be the best they could provide by way of star turns.