Degree of determination: Hard work pays off for homeless N.J. woman who finishes nursing school

Marie Dabel would arrange the toothbrushes and clean clothes close to where her three sons were sleeping in the back of their van.

"I had everything laid out in the car like it was a home," she said.

That bit of housekeeping gave her boys a head start in getting to school on time, but that wasn’t all the planning Dabel did during the short time the family was homeless.

She also parked in McDonald’s parking lots in Hillside and in Newark so the boys — Peter, 6, Marcus, 5, and Jonathan, 3 — could hop out to use the restaurant’s bathroom without being stung by late January’s cold mornings.

The family of four lived in their 10-year-old Toyota Sienna for just a week earlier this year. It was the low point in a yearlong odyssey that challenged Dabel’s otherwise steel-strong resolve.

"I felt everything was overwhelming," the 34-year-old mother said recently, seated inside the Elizabeth YMCA’s women’s shelter, where she and her boys have been staying since February. "I wanted to give up."

But she didn’t, and, ultimately, she couldn’t. Not for her sake, not for her children’s.

Dabel’s tenacity paid off Thursday evening when, along with 143 others, she received her nursing pin and marked the culmination of nearly three years of study at the New Community School of Practical Nursing in Newark.

"Yes, I surprised myself," Dabel said. And she found strength for herself and her family. "They suffered for a reason. They’re going to go to college. I’m going to push them to be somebody."

After completing a mandatory review course at the school and then taking and passing her state board tests, Dabel’s skills and knowledge will be in high demand, said the school’s administrator, Ellen Boddie. Dabel, for all her hardship, did not lack dedication, she said.

STRONG MOTIVATION

"She was so motivated, she was never going let anything get in her way," Boddie said.

Completing coursework she had begun in 2009 would typically have taken 14 months. But a hard life pushed that time line back and school could no longer take precedence.

A few years ago, Dabel fell while working as a nursing assistant in Plainfield and was hospitalized for a month.

Both she and her husband lost their jobs. Already stressed, their once-happy marriage disintegrated last year. Jonathan was diagnosed with lead poisoning.

Public assistance melted away. Money, new clothes and food were all catch as catch can.

She and the boys bounced from an apartment to a motel and, finally, to the van.

With determination, homeless single mother graduates from nursing schoolMarie Dabel is a homeless single mother who is graduating from nursing school. The 34 year-old began her program at The New Community School of Practical Nursing in 2009 and was supposed to finish 14 months later. Hard times turned 14 months into three years, but Dabel never gave up, and now her hard work has paid off. (Video by Adya Beasley / The Star-Ledger)

"It was bad," said Dabel, who worked as nursing assistant for 15 years before losing that job. "It was a hustle."

With encouragement — more like tough love from Boddie, Dabel said — she again set out to complete her coursework, brushing up on anatomy, English composition, obstetrics and psychiatry, among other subjects. There was a course in pharmacology, too.

Dabel had kept silent about her hardship. But Boddie saw that all was not right. Although Dabel was always present and punctual, she started coming to classes a little worse for the wear.

"I saw a change in her," said Boddie, who first met Dabel when the then-32-year-old started nursing school. "That’s when I picked it up."

She approached Dabel, who confided in Boddie. The school paid for clothing for the boys, some food and a portion of her tuition.

"She never asked for anything," Boddie said. "She’s so respectful and grateful for whatever you do."

Those qualities will serve Dabel and her patients well, Boddie said.

"She’s going to be a very caring nurse," Boddie said. "She’s going to be an advocate."

The Sienna is in the Y’s parking lot. But the cold January days are in the rear-view mirror.

"I felt it was my battle," Dabel said of her tribulations. "This a lesson I felt I had to learn."