Why Do We Resist Healing?

“A Course in Miracles” often refers to the split in our mind. This unconscious guilt that spawns every conceivable concern and adversity in our world, is cleverly disguised by the ego by being projected onto the body, others and the world. The ego must retain guilt in order for its thought system to survive. No guilt means no ego; and no ego means no possibility of threat or attack. In short, guiltlessness is invulnerability.

Recall the fundamental and universal principle, that giving is receiving. The ego projects guilt in order to keep it. And this guilt fuels the ongoing succession of unconscious self-attacks such as pain, illness, scarcity, conflict, loss, depression, death, etc. Judgments against others, our self, including further self-attacks such as pain, illness and even death, are all “forms” of ego attack. They have but one purpose, to prove the separation from Love is real. But we cannot attack in any form without acquiring more guilt, that is why the cycle of guilt and attack continues until we consciously break the chain via forgiveness and the Atonement. Forgiveness undoes projection thereby canceling out the ego’s unconscious self-attacks, and it does so in all the dimensions of time. That is why forgiveness “now” in the Holy Instant, literally heals the seeming past and future. (For the forgiveness/Atonement process, click on this link)

“Miracles are part of an interlocking chain of forgiveness which, when completed, is the Atonement. Atonement works all the time and in all the dimensions of time.” T-1.I.25.

The ego needs guilt to survive yet we find it intolerable because guilt blocks us from experiencing our deepest connection, which is the infinite security, joy and peace of God’s Love. This represents the deepest split of all. We are torn between the heart-felt yearning to return to Love and the ego’s convincing threats.

Our greatest desire is to reunite with our perfect and innocent Essence, the Holy Self. However if we are to retain guilt as the ego demands, then we cannot be our Self. Only by brainwashing us into believing that the ego is our identity, can the ego possibly compel us to keep projecting guilt thereby keeping it; manifesting as ongoing and unconscious self-attack in numerous forms of adversity. That is why we are secretly attracted to pain, aging, sickness and death, as some of our most cherished symbols of guilt.

Can you see how the ego works? While our guilt continues to be projected as attack onto the body as pain, illness, aging and death, we end up keeping the guilt in our minds. While suffering in whichever “form” is evident, then it witnesses to the guilt yet to be healed, that remains in the mind. Guilt is also projected and thus kept as self-attack by judging others, our self and the world. However guilt cannot be part of our real Identity because guilt is antithetical to God’s all-encompassing Love. We can only suffer if we believe we are guilty; if we continue to judge independently, apart from Spirit. And we have rejected our Holy Self while we believe in guilt.

“The ultimate purpose of projection is always to get rid of guilt. Yet, characteristically, the ego attempts to get rid of guilt from its viewpoint only, for much as the ego wants to retain guilt [you] find it intolerable, since guilt stands in the way of your remembering God, Whose pull is so strong that you cannot resist it. On this issue, then, the deepest split of all occurs, for if you are to retain guilt, as the ego insists, [you cannot be you.] Only by persuading you that it is you could the ego possibly induce you to project guilt, and thereby keep it in your mind.” T-13.II.1.

The ego projects guilt by trying to get rid of it, yet we end up amassing it. Then we feel more guilty but have no idea why. It may not necessarily be a feeling of guilt but any sense of impending threat always represents the guilt we carry. Guilt demands and expects punishment. This is what our persistent sense of threat symbolizes. But the truth is there is nothing out there that can harm us. We’re so busy attempting to control, plan and defend our lives that we overlook the one remedy for every seeming attack…forgiveness. The guilt we carry continues to make us feel inadequate and unworthy but the deeper reason is kept at bay. We might believe that we have somehow “failed” yet we have no idea that we are failing our Holy Self because we condemn ourselves (or others) as guilty. Failing to recognize our true Self, we do not realize that we are failing our eternally innocent Holy Self. And in this Self betrayal we carry a deep sense of grief.

“Yet consider how strange a solution the ego’s arrangement is. You project guilt to get rid of it, but you are actually merely concealing it. You do experience the guilt, but you have no idea why. On the contrary, you associate it with a weird assortment of “ego ideals,” which the ego claims you have failed. Yet you have no idea that you are failing the Son of God by seeing him as guilty. Believing you are no longer you, you do not realize that you are failing yourself.” T-13.II.2.

Carrying guilt (judgment) in any way separates us from the majesty and supreme Love that dwells within as our Holy Self. Carrying guilt is akin to abandoning the greatest Love of our life forever. It is heart-breaking and tragic. This level of Self betrayal is deeply unconscious and represents the dreadful but coveted belief that we have indeed betrayed the Son of God. Lurking very deep in the darkened recesses of the ego mind…lies a stark terror. We believe that we killed the Son of God. Hence our persistent sense of threat which is the hallmark of the ego’s attraction to self-attack as punishment for the seeming sin that we never committed. And all this is kept tightly bound and hidden from awareness.

The seeming murder of the Son of God never happened. This seeming sin is a symbol of the instant we betrayed our Holy Self; it is our Self we abandoned. And in this one act, we condemned our Self to death…literally, as this is the ego’s cycle of birth and death. And that is why, through the ego, we continue to project our guilt onto the body, others and the world as sickness, pain, loss, conflict, scarcity and finally as physical death itself. The ego seeks guilt through condemnation and perceives guiltlessness (as our Holy Self) as the ultimate in blasphemy. All this is contrived to shield from our awareness that we abandoned our most deeply cherished, eternally guiltless, and one Holy Self.

“The darkest of your hidden cornerstones holds your belief in guilt from your awareness. For in that dark and secret place is the realization that you have betrayed God’s Son by condemning him to death. You do not even suspect this murderous but insane idea lies hidden there, for the ego’s destructive urge is so intense that nothing short of the crucifixion of God’s Son can ultimately satisfy it. It does not know who the Son of God is because it is blind. Yet let it perceive guiltlessness anywhere, and it will try to destroy it because it is afraid.” T-13.II.3.

In the crucifixion of Jesus we will discover an exceptionally relevant and current depiction of our very own darkly vaulted secret. The one that when witnessed with the Love of Spirit, will give way to our resurrection into endless joy. The crucifixion of Jesus is a symbol of the ego’s ongoing attempts to kill our one Holy Self. The ego attempted to annihilate its greatest enemy…the sacred and inviolate innocence of Love’s one Self. Through the crucifixion, the ego continues to project guilt in its insane efforts to eradicate forever the memory of our guiltless invulnerability in God’s Love.

Our Holy Self is the Kingdom of Heaven. By harboring self-attack (judgment/guilt) we unknowingly exile our self from the deep and uninterrupted joy of Heaven’s Kingdom within. And surreptitiously, we fall for the ego’s beguiling plot in believing the preposterous idea that Heaven is accessed through physical death. Yet death is an idea apart from God Who is infinite Life. This endless Life is the nature of Who we are with God. Guilt beckons the illusion of death to come save us from awakening to the glorious and endless “Life” that lies within our innocent Being. This Holy Self which is the very heart of Love itself, is our greatest and most secretly buried terror, and the reason we continue to value guilt.

Do we have resistance to undoing the ego’s beliefs, its values, its laws and its idols? If so then we must have an equal resistance to embodying our true and Holy Self. What can this possibly mean except that we still persist in cherishing guilt and self-attack as being our strongest defense against remembering the Love that we both are and have, in our Holy Self. Because within the divine recovery of this Memory…all guilt must fall away.

The joyful resurrection of Jesus stands as a powerful symbol of how our dream will unfold. As we courageously forgive everyone and everything that the ego fabricated to attack us, we will witness the very real resurrection of our indestructible and eternally innocent Holy Self. And the holiness of this sanctified Self will indeed reverse all the laws of this world, returning us to a state of all-encompassing Love with no opposite. This is the Real World…

NOTE: My bestselling book, The End of Death, is available in AUDIO BOOK, PAPERBACK & KINDLE. To download a free Chapter of the audio book and for more valuable tools and meditations, go to: www.EndOfDeath.com

6 Comments

Sue
on August 8, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Hi Nouk, once again your writing is mind-blowing. There are not enough words for me to convey to you my gratitude.

“As we courageously forgive everyone and everything that the ego fabricated to attack us, we will witness to the very real resurrection of our indestructible and eternally innocent Holy Self. And the holiness of this sanctified Self will indeed reverse all the laws of the world, returning us to a state of all-encompassing Love with no opposite. This is the Real World..” This is why forgiveness is absolutely our opportunity and why whatever happens here (in the dream) is ok, nothing is wrong, it’s all forgiveness bringing us back to our innocent Holy Self and the Real World.

You have also conveyed, very clearly, that our deepest fear is discovering our Holy Self, which is what the characters in the dream are sent to mirror, I suspect. Let it perceive guiltlessness anywhere and it will try to destroy it because it is afraid. So, we can see clearly that it is our Holy innocent Self that we are most afraid of and in this knowing we can face and surrender this fear and within the divine recovery of this Memory…all guilt must fall away. So thankyou, you have pointed to where we need to look and what we need to release to reverse all the laws of this world.

Great post, Nouk! You are extremely gifted to convey Jesus’s message in plain words.
Indeed, the most hidden belief is that we are guilty for betraying God and we are expecting punishment and live in a permanent state of threat. From my own experience the belief “I’m guilty” is the most damaging and keep us in a state of permanent defense…against God’s Love.
Blessings,

I find myself feeling guilty about everything my children my past it all comes crashing in drowning me in a wave of misery. Confusion and despair take root my thinking becomes depressive it’s a continuous cycle. Although I am becoming aware of this my need to feel pain is so strong I feel powerless.

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About Nouk

Nouk Sanchez is a beacon of Light among the many wonderful teachers of A Course in Miracles. Her unconditional Love and depth of wisdom awaken a safe and uncompromising space for students to safely explore hidden fears and blocks to God’s Love.

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Our aim is to help people recognize and undo the one cause of all suffering: the ego (aka – fear). By providing resources, education and mentoring, our intent is to empower individuals with the means to trust in their Divine Teacher within.

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