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She’s Got A Way About Her

Several years ago, after a church meeting where a family member was stripped of her pastoral title, I stood validating her leadership while tears poured down her face. This wasn’t due to a lapse in her work ethic, job performance, or a switch in her duties. It was simply because she was…

…not male.

I didn’t know why her title had changed and I didn’t know the details. I did know that she was humble…like Jesus, like pastors are called to be – regardless of gender. And in years to come, she would keep the drama to herself, showing much more benevolence to the men who had invalidated her position than I would have.

Other men on her team retained their pastoral status, though in a spirit of equity, I wish that they would have forfeited their titles as well, as a show of solidarity until this wrong was made right.

I’m not a debater and I don’t like warring back and forth with scripture. I personally find this use of the bible self-serving, frustrating, and ineffective. So I won’t do that here. I will only represent my take on the issue – an issue that continues to come up again and again within the church.

It feels as though this article should be straight out of the 70’s (or possibly the 50’s) – a faded snapshot from the past when the role of pastor was often exclusive based on gender alone. Don’t get me wrong; I expect gender inequality in the church, as it is still happening all around us. I just don’t expect it from mega-churches that seem to be sensible or from staff teams who are progressive in their approach to ministry. And certainly not from men who are the recipients of the wisdom and leadership of equipped, powerful, and deeply effective woman who speak, teach and lead at the greatest Christian leadership conferences and symposiums around the country.

I also expect disagreement over scripture interpretation. I know that our methods of finding meaning will not always fall in line with one another. I realize that we are fundamentally different in our understanding of how the church should move forward – all of which I welcome as the beauty of a multifaceted bride who will walk down the aisle with a dress designed by the Evangelicals, “something borrowed” from the Lutherans, “something blue” from the Catholics, music from the Pentecostals, and her beautiful soul shining through our Churches of Color.

But this radiant, multifaceted bride – the beauty of who the church is…of who SHE is…

…is female…is male…is man…is woman.

“We’re not saying that she can’t serve. And it’s not that we think she’s not important to our team.”

Try telling her that. Or better yet, don’t. When you go down the road of removing or prohibiting titles based on gender, the message is clear – you don’t get it. Please don’t make it worse by pretending that you do.

I fully realize that those who disagree with powerful female leadership will continue to do so regardless of my words in this blog. So I will instead address those women leaders whom I work with or know who are giving their lives for the cause of bringing Jesus’ redemption to those they lead. There are 34 on our staff team alone, not to mention thousands across the country and around the world who bravely embrace their calling despite the fact that ministry is all too often a man’s world.

May I humbly remind you that you are called. Appointed. Maternal. Wise. Self-sufficient. Knowing. Good. Female…just like the church you lead. Just like the attributes of God that have caused so many to follow him. “His kindness leads to repentance.” People don’t respond because God dominates or rules over them; they respond because he is compassionate toward them, he holds them…he knows them, understands them, and cares for them…just like a mother…just like…a woman.

In the early 90’s “Spiritual Campmeetings” were still popular in evangelical circles of the Christian faith. We parked our trailers and campers at a campground, pitched our tents and listened to a speaker every night for a week – some who would rant and rave for an hour or longer. At the time, my brother, Tim, was living in full-out rebellion against life, love, faith and hope. I had even assumed he was a stranger to God himself during those years – with a soul that was irretrievable.

So, I was a bit surprised when Tim showed up to Campmeeting to help with the kids programming. During the evenings, when his responsibilities with the kids were completed, he would sit in a large tabernacle with no windows and listen to the speaker who had been brought in that week to minister to the adults. The speaker for that particular week was Lillie McCutcheon. She was not hip, cool, young, or current. She was an old woman.

But this old woman was legendary in my denomination. I’ve heard a story that one night a fly flew into her mouth as she was speaking, causing her to hack and choke until she was finally able to spit it out. She then straightened her skirt, gained her composure and said, “He was a stranger, and yet I took him in.” The audience was hysterical. Lillie McCutcheon had a way.

That week, under her leadership and guidance of the scriptures, my brother, Tim…the irretrievable, the stranger to God himself…

…was also taken in.

Yes, she had a way. It took her leadership to sway him. It took an old…woman. A pastor.

All throughout her life, Lillie McCutcheon had fought against men who said she shouldn’t be doing what she was doing. But I’m so glad she kept going. I’m so glad she didn’t give up. They would’ve stripped her of her title if they could have, but I’m confident it wouldn’t have mattered – because the title was written on her heart. God knew this…and thankfully, so did she. And whether or not men liked it, she came preaching anyway.

Like I said, this is not my typical article. I write about brokenness and the stories found within almost exclusively. And I am not political. I tend to steer clear of hot button issues within the Christian faith because they are not my heartbeat. But that day, as I stood before this woman, my family, who had served God so well – who had worked professionally for over twenty years as a minister, representing the gospel of Jesus in all her affairs – when I saw the tears of invalidation and disrespect run down her cheeks, I didn’t represent the voice of the broken like I should have. But now, as the same issue continues to settle on our churches like a hypnotic fog (or poison), I know it is time to speak.

I have very few words of wisdom for those who are discriminated against in this way, beyond these…“DON’T BE A VICTIM!” And when it was time, I hope that you will rise up just like Sofia in The Color Purple when she says…

So gather your strength, ladies. Because we need you to lead. For you are Mary, Phoebe, Ruth and Naomi, Lois, Eunice, Tryphena and Tryphosa, Persis, Esther, Hannah and Abigail…and Jael. These strong and powerful women from the stories in the bible have taught, toppled, outsmarted, outwitted, and even conquered…MEN. Do me a favor and look up Jael…talk about bashing Mister’s head open! Sisera had fled his own army command and was chased down by Deborah, (girl power) while Jael (more girl power) coaxed him into her tent, tainted his milk to knock him out, got a hammer and a spike and “pegged” his head to the ground.

So don’t lose sight of your power. (Phil 4:13)

We need you to hold your head high. We need you to continue to do what you’ve been called to do, no matter what they say. Because you’ve got a way about you…but I do know what it is. And on this road of ministry, this call of spreading the love of God effectively and productively throughout the world, I know that we can’t live without you anymore.

Thanks for speaking out Matt. I’ve struggled with this issue as well. I appreciate the validation and encouragement to use my voice. Hope you continue to encourage the women around you to help strengthen them and ultimately the church.

The sound you hear is me…clapping…long…loud…hard. Having experienced this myself in my own church, I can admit that I still harbor mistrust about male dominated church hierarchy. We are missing out on a tremendous amount of spiritual wisdom, talent, treasure and leadership when we refuse to recognize women in ministry leadership positions. Until this changes, the church isn’t complete and we are all being cheated. Oh and if you want another reference to a woman in leadership-look at Romans 16 where Paul refers to Junia as “among the great apostles.” Unfortunately, in most versions of the Bible, Junia’s name has been masculinized by adding an ‘s’ to the end of her name because biblical scholars couldn’t believe that paul would refer to a woman as an apostle. Check it out int the book ‘The Lost Apostle-The Search for Junia’.

As the woman who preached YOUR installation service in Michigan and served alongside you on staff as at Eastland Church of God in Lexington, KY as their first full time female Associate Pastor, I THINK THIS IS THE BEST ESSAY I HAVE EVER READ TO AFFIRM ME. TO AFFIRM MY SISTERS. I have read enough scholarship on the subject to beat a dead horse and this essay beats it all. Thank you. I live most of my life so misunderstood. A lot of people just don’t know what to do with me…a smart, funny, vulnerable woman with crazy curly hair who is Ordained to abide with those who are broken and cracked. Thank you for seeing me.

Raverend Amy Arnold, I am so glad to have been at Eastland Church of God when you was there! You are awesome and so proud of you doing what God call you to be his servant. Let no man take that away from you. I miss you!

Matt, I’d like for you to meet some of the very faithful, caring and competent women ministers of my denomination – Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). We have had several at Carmel Christian Church on Main Street. Suzanne Mayes (Michele Rogers’ mother)

Matt, thanks for sharing your heart on this issue! I appreciate your ability to lead worship and enjoy it weekly. I don’t question that your heart (or any egalitarian’s heart) is in the right place. You see perceived injustice and want redemption. But I would challenge you to argue your positions from Scripture on this (and any other) issue. Many egalitarian claims are both anecdotal and led by emotions (often due to a legitimate hurt) and do not align with Old or New Testament verses. Your arguments are both anecdotal and emotional. Be careful when arguing against beliefs that complementarians don’t actually have. For example, we believe that men and women are created equal but that, in God’s beautiful design, His best plan is for men and women to have unique roles. This doesn’t mean that He cannot work miracles through women in leadership. You mischaracterize complementarians as “less progressive” but is that compared to a culture of feminism and the “empowerment of women” movement, or is that compared to scripture’s clear teaching? The complementarian point of view, like much of what Christ taught, is counter-cultural. We are called as Christians to follow God’s design from Genesis Ch. 3 not modern culture’s “equality” viewpoints. There are hundreds of “leadership” positions for women in churches that do not violate Scripture but require Christlike submissiveness–even when we struggle to understand it–and we must trust that God’s ways are higher than our ways. I encourage you to study the real arguments for complementarianism. The best book I’ve read is Wayne Grudem’s Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth. But there are many more resources from the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and great work out there by Tim Keller and John Piper. Thanks again, Matt!

Thanks for weighing in, Martin. I appreciate the thoughtful comment. Just a couple things: I don’t label myself egalitarian or complementarian. Honestly, I try to stay away from labels because they often mean one thing to one person and a whole other thing to someone else.

Also, I no longer argue by using scripture. I’ve never found that to be helpful and I’ve rarely (or never) seen it sway someone in their opinion. It’s not because I don’t regard the word of God. I certainly do. I think it’s beautiful and unchanging. But arguing with scripture, in my humble opinion, is viewing it as a manual rather than a story. And it’s difficult to use a story to make everything crystal clear. I don’t know that I believe God intended it to be crystal clear or my guess is it would be crystal clear.

Thank you for being gracious in your approach… I’d welcome a conversation sometime.

My articles are often emotional, that’s not something I feel the need to defend or apologize for. They’re also anecdotal. Also not something I feel the need to fix. I believe the parables of Jesus were also emotional and anecdotal. I wish I were the storyteller that he was, but I’m working on it.

I like much of Tim Keller’s work. In particular, his book “Prodigal God” I thought was amazing. And so insightful. I have perused some of John Pipers writings and messages, but personally do not find them to be helpful.

My goal here was to lift up women who have often been stripped of their God-given authority to lead. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, and that’s okay. In fact I expect that some will flat out disagree. Also, not a problem for me.

But I do stand by what I’ve said here, whether it seem emotional, anecdotal or contrary to what someone may believe the scriptures say. Many of my colleagues would agree with me, and some disagree. That is the beauty of the body of Christ.

Matt, I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be real. It is refreshing to be able to agree to disagree with no hard feelings. Thanks again for doing what you do! May God continue to bless your music and writing ministry.

This was in my timehop today, as it is a year old. I read it again and it’s still my favorite. Thanks for writing this Matt, a year later it’s still a blessing to me. A year ago I was struggling finding my voice and place as a woman in ministry and was kinda just ready to give up trying. I was tired! This week, a year later, I can count this last year of work in ministry as a year where I grew exponitntially in finding my voice, understanding better my calling and guess what else? I just registered for my first grad school class in ministry and theological studies! A dream I have been stewing over for about 3 years and just about gave up on while struggling to see the point. I’m going to keep this one close to my heart and my books for the next 2.5 years as I pursue my educational dream. 🙂 Thanks Matt! You have empowered and inspired me and the awesome women I work with to be confident in our kingdom roles!