Artist Knits Gun Cozies, Creates Itchiest Gun Store Ever

I don’t “get” modern art. Everything up until impressionism is good by me, but once you start moving into the 1900s everything starts to be strange and incomprehensible. Which explains why my multiple attempts at relationships with art school girls always ends in failure. Take, for example, this art installation by Monte Smith. The man painstakingly knitted covers for all sorts of firearms and then set up a “gun store” to display the items. Check the link for more pictures, including a pink cover for a M60 machine gun. That’s all well and good, but it’s the comments on that story that got to me…

The author of that blog article, “Lavinia,” opened her article with this statement:

Guns are always better when completely devoided of their atrocious function. Perhaps this was the message that artist Monte A. Smith wanted to send out when designing The Gun Store, an art installation featuring highly controversial objects on display.

I never thought of IPSC shooting as “atrocious,” although some of the competitor’s clothing may fit that bill. That statement didn’t sit too well with the readers, who were quick to respond. My favorite response is from David, who (like me) didn’t get the point of the artwork.

“Guns are always better when completely devoided of their atrocious function.”

Really? I prevented someone from collapsing my skull with a crowbar by having a pistol at hand. It didn’t seem like an “atrocious function” to me at the time. Although the intended function of the crowbar was something I was willing to dispute. And when I’m away on business, I like the idea that my family is protected by my wife’s ability to wield a firearm. At that point, the firearm is providing the single most important function I can think of…the protection of what matters more to me than anything. The function of the instrument is determined by the person wielding it, not the instrument itself.

As far as the “artist’s” work: Congratulations! You’ve invented a tea cozy for weaponry. How nice, and utterly pointless.

Personally I’d have preferred an art installation focusing on the beauty of firearms themselves. Which is a niche the NRA nicely fills with their National Firearms Museum, a glorious 3 minute drive from my apartment in Fairfax, VA.

I’m a great believer in “Form follows function”. For example, look at some of the SA western style revolvers like the Ruger Vaquero. Or the deadly appearance of the Colt Pythons. These gun cozies however, have no function and are not only useless, but very ugly. Covering the beauty of a Weatherby Mark XXII or a Henry Big Boy rifle is nothing more than a crime.

Some women have more time than talent. How about making some blankets for the Linus project ladies, and leave the guns alone. You don’t cover a Ming Vase with a homemade crochet cozy.

I suppose she would be offended if people started contacting her to make knitti-fitti for specific firearms they owned. This would be a bit more custom/individual/special than those silicone gun socks.