It’s Not About Sex, It’s About Power

The furor and the accompanying apologist dismissals that began with a NSFW recording of Donald Trump bragging about his penchant for sexual aggression and assault has yet to abate.

Trump’s Worthless Apology

Donald’s initial attempt at an apology immediately began the deflection process aimed at his main competitor:

“This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course – not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended.”

The lack of remorse and immediate projection of guilt on another person in the “apology” is typical behavior for a chronic abuser confident in his position of dominance.

The tone of his statements to Billy Bush on the bus is de rigeur for Trump. Donald revels like a two year old child discovering the word “no” in the attention he receives for his obnoxious behavior. A year later, he laughed when Howard Stern sidekick Robin Quivers said he was a sexual predator:

Stern went on to say, “Donald, seriously, you know about sexual predators and things like that.” His co-host Robin Quivers then interjected, “You are one!” Donald smiled and seemed to say “true” silently twice, while Ivanka laughed next to him.

It’s not funny to most people, watch the video and decide for yourself. It’s especially worrisome when a father chuckles about that accusation, even one couched within the bathroom humor context of the Howard Stern show, with his daughter and son (both ALSO laughing) sitting next to him. The same daughter he happily gave permission to Stern to refer to as “a piece of ass.”

How many of you fathers out there would do that?

Locker Room Talk

The “locker room banter” excuse exposed in the “apology” Donald and his handlers crafted is the battle cry for Trump supporters now. Dismissing his bragging in this fashion removes ALL responsibility for his actions, despite being accused in a court action in 1997 of nearly the exact moves he bragged about. His first wife, in a divorce deposition, describes an horrific assault at the hands of her then husband Donald Trump.

Let us be clear here. What Donald Trump said was terrible and wrong. There is no excuse for it. Accounting for the comments by likening them to locker room bragging by men may help explain it. However, it does not justify it or allow for any response other than disgust. Fortunately, Donald Trump instantly gave an unequivocal apology. No half hearted “if I offended anyone” words, just a simple “I was wrong.”

That’s obviously not true. The “apology” didn’t include the words “I was wrong” and it DID include the words “if anyone was offended.” While Trump later made a midnight video with another “apology”, that one also demonstrated no remorse (or production values).

False Equivalence

The blog post then leaps to the assumption that anyone condemning Trump for his heinous behavior somehow automatically excuses Bill Clinton (note: NOT a candidate for president) for his sexual escapades. This is a wild hare leap of logic, it’s extremely possible a large percentage of people that find Trump’s behavior abhorrent ALSO found Bill Clinton’s behavior abhorrent.

Me So Powerful

The photo at the top of the page with the subject ostensibly Donald Trump instead features Bill Clinton.

The post, relying on the above point, continues to try to make a case for the GOP candidate using the usual deflection of blame onto the spouse of the Democratic candidate’s spouse of forty years and his philandering and mistreatment of women. It also adds blame, somehow, for the Democratic candidate herself, arguably one of the victim’s of Bill Clinton’s repeated indiscretions.

The post isn’t unusual in this election cycle, the false equivalence of one candidate’s actions versus that of another is the standard for what passes for political discourse. The GOP leader is simply following the rules in the new guidebook, trying to distract attention from the behavior of his candidate.

Even that isn’t the worst problem with the continued defense of indefensible Trump, though.

Why Didn’t They Speak Up?

A portion of the attempted defense of Trump in the face of the stream of women now publicly accusing him of acts from groping to raping a 13 year old girl is “Why didn’t they speak up before?”

Simple.

For serial abusers, it’s not about sex. Their goal is to use sexual attacks only partially for their own sexual gratification. The bigger thrill is to demonstrate power over the powerless. Listen to Donald Trump chatting with Billy Bush in the bus, it’s about what he can get away with because he’s famous.

He KNOWS his actions are wrong, yet he puffs up his chest and brags to his sychophant about how it doesn’t matter.

It’s a power trip. Watch Trump strategically place himself behind his opponent (video below) at the October 9 debate. That was obviously a purposeful strategy, to menace his female opponent with what he considers subtlety.

Abusers Are Everywhere

Victims of sexual abuse routinely keep quiet. Children don’t speak up about their parents. Sisters don’t tell their parents about their brothers. Altar boys don’t speak up about priests. Boy Scouts don’t speak up about their leaders. That’s more the norm than an aberration.

Nobody wants to believe that someone they know, someone they possibly love, could be that monster.

Yet, here we have yet another extremely high profile case of attacking the accusers. That adds more weight to the pile of guilt tamping down the odds of the next abused person reporting the conduct of their attacker.

The abusers know it, they count on it, and they continue stalking their prey. They gain power every time they get away with it. The abuse spreads, as others are brought into the circle of secrecy if the victim works up the courage to confide in them. Entire families, sometimes, end up enabling abuse within their own family as the predator gains more control.