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18 Aug 2017 3:13:03pm

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When I recognized the childhood mistreatment I suffered as stemming from the society's culture, this put it into perspective for me. It has taken me most of my life torecognize bullying for what it is, and how it is allowed to flourish in public and private life. And that the dysfunction of the two spheres is connected. As I grew older I looked back on what I'd observed in other families and I could recognize patterns similar to what I'd experienced. It made me feel less isolated. I've found that I've needed to reclaim parts of myself that have been lost or taken away by that childhood maltreatment. My identity had been shattered in my very early years. I had to rediscover my persona, my humanity, my individuation. Non- professional co-counselling has suited me, perhaps not for everyone, but it has given me back my confidence. I put that down to its structure; i.e. self-directed choosing of content, equality of roles, a set time limit of short duration, a serious commitment to trust, respect and not to repeat painful disclosures, the switching between listening and being listened to empathically, without interruption or qualification. For me that was empowering, because it took my attention off myself and gave me the opportunity to share another's experience in a safe way. Just a thought for anyone who feels this kind of approach might help them.

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