Thursday, December 19, 2013

1 Year - From The Duke and EsMay

Today is one year since I started this blog. A year since we were starting out in DD, and I thought that it was stupid to start a blog, and that everyone would think I was being some kind of poser trying to work my way into a group that I didn't belong in. I am so thankful I was wrong, and that this blog became a safe place to let out all I'm thinking.

The Duke and I did not get a chance to plan a post like we'd planned. We got storm stayed for two nights with friends giving us no chance to work on this, and then we came home to a driveway full of snow. So we decided to ask each other a few questions, making sure not to ask the ones you guys asked of us that we will answer tomorrow. :) My words are in pink, his in blue. :)

So, Sweetie, what do you wish I had done differently this year in learning
the DD lifestyle? What ways have you been disappointed in me? Been proud of
me?

I don’t think there is anything I wish you had done
different this year. I could say follow the rules more but you already follow
the rules pretty well and besides I wouldn’t get to spank you as much otherwise.
Maybe stop trying to take control back as much. I don’t really feel I’ve been
disappointed in you at all. Maybe that I need to remind you of your bedtime
every night otherwise you don’t go to bed on time. I have been so proud of you
that you have been so submissive this year. I have been so proud of how you are
so willing to submit to your spankings even though I know you find them painful
at times.

Here is a question for you: How do you think our
relationship would be different this year if we had not tried DD?

I think that may be the scariest question you could ask me. 13 months ago
I wrote a counselling group, telling them I had no idea how to save my marriage,
and I was at the end of what I knew how to do. I felt so unloved, and lost and
alone. I don’t know that we would have had a relationship anymore if we had not
started DD. Not that I would have left, we both know as much as I may have
wanted to, I never could have, but... I would have wanted to, and in my heart,
would have. We were on our way to roommates without a lot of love, and I can’t
even begin to imagine what that would look like now. I am so thankful that we
don’t have to know what we would have been like this year without DD. I am so thankful that now, we are like we were when we were dating, but better. More in love, more free, more fun. :)

What about this year surprised you? About me, about yourself, or about us
together?

I think I was surprised by how well the spankings actually seemed to work.
I thought spankings were for children, or were only for erotic play maybe. But
they actually caused you pain and made you want to be submissive. I am surprised
by how submissive you actually want to be, as I had always assumed from the
prior years in our marriage that you really wanted to be the one in control. I
am surprised by myself by how much I was able to step up in small ways since I
always believed I was more of a follower. I am surprised by how closer and how
much better we seem to work together now in our marriage than before we started
DD.

Here is another questions for you: What do you think our relationship is
going to look like a year from now with DD in it, especially if we have a baby
with us?

Well, if God blesses us with a baby, I think we could picture it all we want... that little bundle will throw all our theories out of the window... if they're like any other babies I know. lol. As for DD, I hope we're stronger. I hope I remember to submit more often without you needing to remind me. I hope that I can encourage you more and show you that I will not be upset if you become more consistent. I know we will be even more in love, and have grown even closer together. I think that is what this path has taught us, to keep working at everything, TOGETHER. And I can't tell you how special it is to me that you're so willing to work along side me now. {{{HUGS}}}

Tomorrow we'll answer your questions, so you still have time to ask one if you haven't already. :) And maybe this weekend we'll actually sit down and do the post we meant to, but no promises, it's a pretty busy time of year. :) I also have to get to the comments you guys left this week, have not had time, sorry.

12 comments:

This is so sweet, I love it. I'm so happy for the two of you, and i can't wait to see what the next year has in store. I wish you all the best, I hope you have a fantastic Holiday, enjoy your time together! I love how close and connected the two of you are :) Yeah!

Congratulations on your one year blogiversary Es May. I am so happy that I've got a chance to know you better and through you and your blog gotten to know your Duke a bit. I think you two are doing wonderfully and are a lovely example for others in blog land.

Congratulations on your first blogiversary Es May and Congratulations to you both on your first year of DD. I really enjoyed reading this. I love both of your answers and it's a wonderful reflection on your first year.

I'm so happy that you have become so wonderfully connected and are in such a good space. It has been a honour and a privilege to follow your journey and witness how far you have come.

I too am so glad I have got to know you and agree with Cat that you are a wonderful example for others.

OH Roz, you humble me with your words, thank you. And I am not sure what you and Cat see in us to be an example, but if we can help anyone out there... all the struggles we went through would be worth it. :) Well, I guess they are worth it either way as they have helped unite us. Thank you for everything this year Roz, you have helped me so much. {{{hugs}}}

Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

About Me

I'm a wife to a wonderful man we call The Duke. We're DD, D/s, light BDSM and I sometimes have a little side. We're on a constant mission to make our marriage better and stronger than ever before. I'm hoping to become a better wife and person in the process.