I drew it in study hall last year when I was bored.. Obviously it was inspired from the Art Of Drowning cd.

And I drew some pics of Johnny the Homocidal Maniac characters..

Now here is some of my depressing dark poetry I've written over the years..

WARNING: you may feel the urge to cut yourself or cry.

haha..imma loser

a song I wrote called Bloody Tears:

ack..i really hate this but i figured I'd leave it up here anyway so you can all see how i've progressed..at least i
hope i have! :-p

Late at night, I hide in the dark. Running from shadows that I'll never know. Late at
night, hiding in darkness. I wish they would all just leave me alone. The hate in me is coming out. I scream and
scream but no one hears me shout. What is this hate? I do not know. Hiding in the darkness, restrained I can not
go. Running and screaming but I can not escape this fear. It's taken hold of my soul and leaves no bloody tear. The
stains of blood as they fall from my wrist, Always consumed by the hatred and bliss. So you'll leave me alone, this
is my life. Bloody tears in the darkness holding a knife. Late at night, I hide in the dark. Running from shadows
that I'll never know. Late at night, hiding in darkness. I wish they would all just leave me alone. Lieing here,
waiting for death. Lost in this world 'till I'm out of breath. As I wait for you to take me away, You are the
only one to save me. Come save me now, before I'm gone for ever. You told me you loved me, but we can never be together.
You left me alone in this destruction and pain. I've tried to hold on, but now I have been slain. Late at night,
I hide in the dark. Running from shadows that I'll never know. Late at night, hiding in darkness. I wish they
would all just leave me alone. Choking here, on my tears. The pain and suffering, still it leers. Now I'll lay
me down so that all can see. The breath that has been taken away from me, away from me, away from me.. (whispered)
This is the end of me

This is a poem I wrote for school called Memory:

I can remember falling far from the light, When my blinded
eyes had new sight. Getting caught up in the tangles and vines. Ghost of my Memory, held in my mind. I can remember
those hopeless days, Alone in the blackness, a single dark flame. When the only comfort was to add more pain, When
all my strength and dreams had been slain. I can remember running from shame, From all of the voices calling
my name. Drowning in fear of life but not death, Feelings that follow until my last breath. Failing the search
to find my role, These memories seem to shadow my soul.

Um..this was a poem I wrote dedicated to Criss Angel. I know it kinda sucks though, but it's the effort that counts, right?
Anyway, it's called Angel of Illusion:

Look what has happened.
Look at me now.
My mind is lost,
In this life that I am bound.
I can't hear, I can't feel, I can't breath.
Everything's turned against me,
My existence has been slain.
They turn their backs and look away,
All I can feel is the cold and the pain.
The fire inside of my soul has gone out,
And all that's left is this blackened scar.
No one can hear me, but I scream and shout.
But you listen, and look deep into my eyes.
They tear through my soul to see what's inside.
You ask what I see.
While others are blinded by hate and deceit,
I see the hope, and feel your warmth.
You hold me in your arms and I never want to leave.
Staying here in with you comfort I can finally breath.
You've given back my life, and shown me the light.
You've given back my fire, and taken away my fright.
I feel no more pain and sadness, from everything you give.
All of the happiness, love, and the will to live.
All of the strength, inspiration, and truth when my thoughts were blind.
My Angel of Illusion, always living eternally in my heart and mind.

This was another poem I wrote while I was in study hall..it's called Fantasy:

I feel so hollow inside.
I can not keep living up to these lies.
I don't want to wake up,
So do not embrace me.
I'm stuck inside this dream of a perfect world in which I never want to leave.
The world is consumed by dark beauty,
And all of existence understands.
No one is shunned for their differences,
And the suns always set beneath glowing sands.
Why must my soul tear, and once again subside in this horrid nightmare?
Where the rain whispers a song of sorrow as it falls to the ground.
Always living this eternally I am bound.
With false light so imperfect it burns my eyes.
Always concealing the hatred and lies.
So do not embrace me.
I wish to slip back into my dream.
Enraptured in pure light within the darkness,
No fallen rose goes unseen.

Nameless One

Living in this world day in and day out,The voices all around me, but none will keep out.I tried to stop, flowing
of the blood.But the sickness won't leave until its done.Whats the point of keeping away,When the torment and
pain come every single day.Even the tears won't sooth my soul,It always comes back to take control.Fuck this life
and fuck this world,Lieing on the floor crying, unfurled.It's always better taking the easy way out,Cut away the
hate, hurt beyond any doubt.To leave a scar, secrets of shame.Seeing my reflection of what I've became.The look
in my eyes is empty, worn out,While inside eternally, I scream and shout.So many things tear another hole.Till
all thats left is a hollow soul.But no one hears me, no one cares.Just another nameless girl with rips and tears.

Monster

there are times when things get toughand my flesh gets shaky and numbrealization of the monsterthe one that
must be fedwhen the overwhelming urgegets more and more intensewith every deadly thoughtto sink the icy metalbeneath
my palid skinand watch the crimson liquidspill downward like a streamand hear the still and quietlike a hushed
winters nightand feel the stinging steelthat welcomes pleasure unto painwhile my heart rases fastereach breath
gets harder to takeletting out a gasp of raptureas the world becomes so calmthen it's placed back in it's caseuntil
it's beckoned for once morealways to leave another barcodethat reads shameful and despairthe ceaseless cycle goes
onand the monster demands moreuntil in my mind and bodythere is nothing left to feed it

"I Hate Sluts" (I couldn't think of a good name..so I made up a stupid one)

Use me up for all I've got
Thrown away like trash
Because everything we had
I knew could never last
The pain you make me feel
With every kiss we share
Rips me up inside
Fills me with despair
And I know you'd never notice
I know you'd never care
That inside I am dieing
With every single tear
But with my mouth sewn shut
Never would I dare
Let you know my secret
How much I really care
My love's a beautiful thing
Wasted on your lies
My heart's forever broken
By you and your kind
Though blood will dry and vanish
Plastic smile easy to see
The cuts may fade and heal
But the scars will never leave me

Bloody Kiss

The words cut in and sting so bad
I wish it were a different pain
The kind of pain I long for
Is that which keeps me sane
I hear all that they're saying
Though I know I shouldn't care
But it hurts more than it should
When truth comes from their icy stare
And as I hold you in my hand
I pause and wonder why
I chose to ever befriend you
The one that made me die
Before you came into my life
There was happy, joyful bliss
But you took it all away
With a single bloody kiss
And with this thought I realize
You never halped me live
You blind all my emotions
You take more than you give
So now dear friend I'll leave you
To play your destined role
I'll let you help me one last time
To finish off my soul.

Hear Me

Why won't you listen?I'm screaming out your name.Begging and pleading,Take away the pain.I just want
to live,I want to be free.I thought you might notice,But still you won't see.Scars on my body, as well as
my soulSharpened blades, losing controlYet still I am hurting, ten thousand more timesThan what I show:Pale
flesh with red lines.I know you couldn't try to conceive,How hard it is, just to breathe.But I'm asking, I'm begging
youDon't make it worse.Life is already too hard,For me it's a curse.

The Urge

Should I do it? Should I not?

The chance is great of getting caught

Just how powerful is my will?

Monthes of strength, or one cheap thrill

Keeping together for so long

Or will this be my final song

I can resist it, at least I hope

I'll just ignore it, try to cope

Every second's getting longer

The urge won't stop, it's getting stronger

I can do it, I'll keep trying

But in my mind, my soul is dieing

My heart still punding in my head

God, I wish that I were dead

Maybe just a little slice...

Later I will pay the price

I could cover up and hide it

Try me, I will just deny it

Feel it pulsing in my veins

Begging to bleed out the pain

Peice of metal bites down hard

Streams of life flow down my arm

A rush of rapture seeps to my core

As my lifeless body falls to the floor

I guess my will just couldn't take it

Will the urge overcome you, or can you forsake it?

Behind Locked Doors

Tears stream down and sting my eyes

'Cause I'm tired of all the pain and lies

Therepy doesn't help at all

And no one's there to break my fall

Voices screaming out my name

But in the end they're all to blame

My body's exhausted as well as my mind

Blades and booze are all I can find

Temporary relief just to stay sane

Blood and teardrops fall like rain

Every day takes all my strength

And still for you I'd go any length

Just so I could see you smile

All my suffering seems worthwhile

'Cause I love you more than you'll ever know

I wish that I could help you so

Your life could be like you always wanted

But your demons chase you, forever haunted

I wish that we could both be free

But I know that can never be

I wish I could tell all the sorrow I hold

But I keep it in, for you I'll be bold

'Cause I know if I told you it'd hurt you more

So I'll keep it hidden behind locked doors.

Three Little Words

Overused, these three little words

How can I use them to express

What I've been feeling since the beginning

A word is just that

A group of letters strung together

Nothing more, nothing less

So what can I say

When you look into my eyes

Or when you hold my hand

And I get butterflies just thinking of you

If a picture is worth a thousand words

Then this can't be just three

A million words couldn't tell you

How I dream about us every night

Intertwined, bound by more than an emotion

You see, you and I

We're in this together

We're connected at a deeper level

Apart we're only half of what we could be

Soulmates, they call us

But that's just another word

Not nearly enough to describe

What we really are

They can never give it a name

To how you make me feel inside

When you wrap your arms around me

Or whisper in my ear

The way you make me feel

Like everything is okay

So what is left to say?

The only thing I can

"I love you"

I just wrote this. It doesn't have a name yet

Cracked and broken, she lies there unconscious to the rest of the world

Tears drip down her cheeks but no one notices the body spread out on the floor

A poor black rose, wilting in the sunlight, unable to take in any of the heat

Cold, dark, a skeleton of savage remorse

Running, shrieking, without making move or sound

Years go by and still no one notices the heap of garbage piled up in the corner

Crushed and crumbled under its own dead weight

They walk by and sometimes give it a glance of pity

Only later to beat and bruise the helpless flesh who can’t defend itself

So she does nothing but lie and wait for something to change

Eternally hopeful that life will come and fill her lungs once more

When she can grasp just one breath that will sustain her for another day

Will save her from the empty corpse that she has become

Waiting for her heart to beat once more and her eyes to sparkle with indulgence