Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Matthew 5:3 (the Message) says, "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more room for God and his rule."
That's such a strange concept. I mean, who's Jesus trying to kid by claiming that it's a blessing to be at the end of your rope? Who would actually want to be there? I, for one, like to be in control, and I think that's part of the problem. Any time I'm in control, that means less space for God to be in control. Any time I've been at the end of my rope (like with the nastiness that went with the breakup with Cathe in college), God has been more than willing to come to my rescue. When I said, "There's nothing I can do" it has always been extremely obvious that God has something in store for me and when I get out of the way, He will cover it. God covered our finances when I was in seminary (I don't remember how many times Tara and I would look at the checkbook and cry wondering where we'd get the jack to pay the bills, then the bills would get paid, whether it was because Ron and Ashley decided "randomly" to give us a generous gift, or because Southland Christian Church decided to help pay the bills or to give me a scholarship. God has always provided. Why does it take so much to get that through my hard skull?

So in this tough time of wondering how I'm supposed to continue to do the job I'm drowning under, + do what someone else is supposed to be covering, + not get much sleep, + soon have a baby, I can count on God to cover me.

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord (if I want to be redundant; that's what "Hallelujah" means)