Spicy Italian Proverbs

Dan Scopazzi performs as a stand-up comedian under the name Dan St. Paul

My good friend Dan Scopazzi and I worked on a novelty book project some years back called Spicy Italian Proverbs. Dan, whose parents were born and raised in Italy, speaks Italian fluently. In fact, he dubbed some Italian dialogue in the movie The Godfather: Part III. Dan, a professional (and very talented) comedian who lives in San Francisco, performs under the name Dan St. Paul.

I hope you enjoy Dan’s collection of spicy Italian proverbs. Most of them are followed by both a literal and a street-smart translation. With the right illustrations and packaging, I think this could be a wonderful little book!

SPICY ITALIAN PROVERBS

ITALIAN: L’acqua cheta rovina i ponti.
TRANSLATION: Silent running river water corrodes the bridge.
IN OTHER WORDS: If your wife isn’t speaking to you, you’re in big trouble.

ITALIAN: Paese che vai, usanza che trovi.
TRANSLATION: You go to different countries, you find different customs.
IN OTHER WORDS: Different strokes for different folks.

ITALIAN: Gallina vecchia fa buon brodo.
TRANSLATION: An old chicken makes the best broth.
IN OTHER WORDS: Older women make better lovers.

ITALIAN: Chi ha un buon marito, se lo sali.
TRANSLATION: She who has a good husband, keeps him under salt.
IN OTHER WORDS: Take good care of your husband or someone else will.

ITALIAN: L’ignoranza e vestita di rosso.
TRANSLATION: Ignorance is dressed in red.
IN OTHER WORDS: The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.

ITALIAN: Chi va con i zoppi impara a zoppicare.
TRANSLATION: He who walks with the lame, ends up limping.
IN OTHER WORDS: You are the company you keep.

ITALIAN: Le ragazze lo desiderano, le maritate lo provano, le risultati positivi.
TRANSLATION: In love, as in war, only person to person yields positive results.
IN OTHER WORDS: Facing problems head on makes for a good marriage.

ITALIAN: Se tutti i “becchi” portassero un lampione, mama mia, che luminazione!
TRANSLATION: If every cuckold had a lamp, boy, what a great light there’d be!
IN OTHER WORDS: Men aren’t the only ones who fool around!

ITALIAN: Chi ha buona cantina, non beve il vino all’osteria.
TRANSLATION: He who has a good wine cellar doesn’t go out drinking.
IN OTHER WORDS: If your wife loves you, you’d be a fool to be unfaithful.

ITALIAN: Le compagnie d’assicurazioni sono come le donne: concepiscono nel piacere, partoriscono nel dolore.
TRANSLATION: Insurance companies are like women: they love to take your money and they hate to pay off.
IN OTHER WORDS: If you take your girlfriend to an expensive restaurant, don’t expect anything more than a kiss goodnight.

ITALIAN: Soffiare nel flauto non e suonarlo: bisogna saper muovere le dita.
TRANSLATION: To blow on a flute is not enough: you have to know how to move your fingers.
IN OTHER WORDS: A life without passion is no life at all.

ITALIAN: Il diavolo insegna a fare la pentola, ma non il coperchio.
TRANSLATION: The devil teaches you how to make a pot, but not its cover.
IN OTHER WORDS: It’s easier to get into trouble than to get out of it.

ITALIAN: Lascia che scorre la cavallina.
TRANSLATION: Let him run the filly.
IN OTHER WORDS: A young man needs to sow his wild oats.

ITALIAN: Meglio puzzar di merda che di povero.
TRANSLATION: Better to smell like dung than of poverty.
IN OTHER WORDS: Shoveling manure is better than no job at all.

ITALIAN: Ragazzi e polli sporcan la casa.
TRANSLATION: Children and chickens will dirty your house.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t say anything around a child unless you want it repeated.

ITALIAN: Per compagnia prese moglie un frate.
TRANSLATION: For good company, a woman can marry a priest.
IN OTHER WORDS: Trying to change your husband is a losing battle.

ITALIAN: Donna pelosa, matta o virtuosa.
TRANSLATION: A hairy woman is either crazy or virtuous.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t judge people until you have all the facts.

ITALIAN: Ventre pieno fa la testa vuota.
TRANSLATION: A full stomach makes for an empty head.
IN OTHER WORDS: Never conduct business during dinner.

ITALIAN: Al contadino non devi far saper come sia buono il formaggio con le pere.
TRANSLATION: Don’t let the farmer know how good his cheese and pears are.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t tell somebody how much you want something until after they give it to you for a good price.

ITALIAN: Val piu’ una mora sul balcone che cento rose su un cantone.
TRANSLATION: A brunette on your balcony is worth a hundred redheads around the corner.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t wait for the perfect woman or you’ll end up alone.

ITALIAN: Non lungo che tocchi, non largo che toppi, ma duro che duri.
TRANSLATION: Not so long that it touches, nor so thick that it fills, but rather hard that it lasts.
IN OTHER WORDS: Women value endurance more than size.

ITALIAN: Nelle botti piccole ci sta il vino buono.
TRANSLATION: Small bottles have the best wine.
IN OTHER WORDS: Short women make better lovers.

ITALIAN: Campa cavallo che l’erba cresce.
TRANSLATION: While the grass is growing, the horse will starve.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t wait until conditions are perfect or you’ll never get anything done.

ITALIAN: Le bugie hanno le gambe corte.
TRANSLATION: Lies have short legs.
IN OTHER WORDS: The truth catches up to you very quickly.

ITALIAN: La verita e’ come l’olio, vene sempre alla galla.
TRANSLATION: Truth is like oil, it always comes to the surface.
IN OTHER WORDS: Honesty is the best policy.

ITALIAN: Chi corre troppo casca al primo intoppo.
TRANSLATION: He who runs too much falls at the first obstacle.
IN OTHER WORDS: Patience and caution are more valuable than speed.

ITALIAN: La cortesia e noiosa per coloro che non la usano mai.
TRANSLATION: Kindness is bothersome for those who don’t practice it.
IN OTHER WORDS: Don’t ask a heartless man for a favor.

ITALIAN: Chi lascia la via vecchis per la nuova, spesso mal si trova.
TRANSLATION: He who leaves the old way for the new, often finds the worst.
IN OTHER WORDS: Look before you leap.

ITALIAN: Chi compra il superfluo, si trova senza il necessario.
TRANSLATION: He who buys the superfluous, finds himself without the necessary.
IN OTHER WORDS: Before you spend recklessly, make sure you’ll have enough money left to buy groceries.

ITALIAN: Quando si e stat ministro o prostituta anche per solo un giorno, si ha diritto al titolo per tutta la vita.
TRANSLATION: If you’re a congressman or a prostitute for only one day, you hold that title for the rest of your life.

ITALIAN: Le nazioni smaltiscono diversamente il dolore: Il tedseco lo beve, il francese lo mangia, lo spagnolo lo piange, e l’italiano lo dorme.
TRANSLATION: Each has his own way of coping with sorrow: The German drink, the French eat, the Spanish cry, and the Italians sleep it off.

ITALIAN: L’uomo si conosce in tre cose: alla collera, alla borsa, al bicchiere.
TRANSLATION: He can know a man by three things: when he is angry, when he is spending, and when he is drunk.

ITALIAN: Le statistiche sono come i bikini: rivelano cio che e suggestivo e nascondono cio che e vitale.
TRANSLATION: Statistics are like bikinis: They show what is suggestive and hide what is real.

ITALIAN: Con un po’ di saliva e di pazienza un provenzale incula una mosca.
TRANSLATION: With a little spit and a lot of patience you can even screw a fly.

ITALIAN: Non correte mai dietro una donna o a un tram; ne verrano sempre degli altri.
TRANSLATION: Never run after a woman or a bus; there will always be another.

ITALIAN: Solo in due professioni i dilettanti superano gli specialisti: la strategia militare e la prostituzione.
TRANSLATION: In only two fields do the amateurs perform better than the professionals: military strategy and prostitution.

ITALIAN: Moglie e fuoco, stuzzicalo ogni un poco.
TRANSLATION: A fire and a wife both need to be stoked once in a while.

ITALIAN: La donna deve avere quatro M: Messaia in casa, Matrona in strada, modesta in chiesa, e Matta a letto.
TRANSLATION: The ideal woman should have four C’s: Clean at home, charitable in church, cautious on the road, and crazy in bed.

ITALIAN: L’invenzione della minigonna e come quella delle navi a vapore: non ocure piu’ aspettare il vento.
TRANSLATION: The invention of the mini-skirt is like that of the steamship: you no longer need a breeze.

ITALIAN: Una giovane in mano di un vecchio, un uccello in mano di un ragazzo, e un cavallo in mano di un frate, son tre cose stra pazzate.
TRANSLATION: Three wasted things: a horse in the hands of a monk, a small bird in the hands of a young boy, and a beautiful young woman in the hands of an old man.

ITALIAN: Moglie e buoi, dei paesi tuoi.
TRANSLATION: To get a good wife or good cattle, go back to your hometown.

ITALIAN: Chi non ha quattrini, non abbia voglie. Chi non vuol pensieri, non prenda moglie.
TRANSLATION: He who is broke, has no desires. He who does not want worries, does not get married.

ITALIAN: Credere in Dio onnipotente, negli uomini poco, e nelle donne niente.
TRANSLATION: Believe in God, men very little, and in women not at all.

Through God’s Eyes is a road map for living a more peaceful, beautiful life. It’s the only book that explains how dozens of spiritual principles interact, how to weave them together into a cohesive worldview, and how to practically apply this spiritual wisdom to daily life.

Readers everywhere are discovering that when you challenge yourself to look through God’s eyes, the world around you changes, and so do you.

Who will benefit from reading Through God’s Eyes?
Anyone who is on a spiritual path, or wants to be.
Anyone who loves life, or wants to learn how to.
Anyone who is happy, or wants to be happier.

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Here is a two-minute video introduction to Through God’s Eyes.

Like to learn more about Through God’s Eyes? Here is a free 44-page PDF sampler from the book that includes:

• an overview of the book
• the complete table of contents
• the Foreword by Caroline Myss
• my Introduction
• chapter excerpts
• a sample end-of-chapter story
• endorsements from authors and thought leaders

In this eBook, you’ll find answers to questions like:
• What is the cornerstone of a spiritual life, and why?
• What is the secret to liberating yourself from other people’s judgments and expectations?
• How do you reconcile the “free will vs. Divine Will” conundrum?
• Why is there an exception to “Everything happens for a reason”?

Those who worship logic instead of God are only half right. Not only is it logical to believe in God and to live a faith-based life, the existence of a loving, benevolent God that governs all creation is perhaps the only systematic worldview that explains every aspect of life.

Phil is also the author of Sixty Seconds: One Moment Changes Everything, a collection of 45 inspiring, life-changing stories from prominent authors and thought leaders he interviewed. The roster of storytellers includes Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch, Caroline Myss, Larry Dossey, Rachel Naomi Remen, Bernie Siegel, Dean Ornish, and Christiane Northrup. Sixty Seconds has been translated into four languages: Italian, German, Spanish, and Portuguese. Reading this book is like spending a few minutes face to face with each of the contributors and listening to their personal stories.