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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Squirm

Ever been "called" on something? You know, when you've clearly done something wrong or at the very least, inappropriate or disrespectful?

I was - today - by someone whose opinion I value. OUCH. I found myself trying to get this person to see my side, but the error was clear. Eventually I had to agree that I had goofed royally.

This happens to me with annoying regularity. I hate it when it does. But I need to face the consequences of my actions. Every time.

Whether we mean to do something or not, being called on something is never an easy experience. What causes the most distress is that we don't like to admit that we were wrong, that what we did caused someone else embarrassment or pain. We try to justify ourselves.

That's what Christians call "the flesh." It's that part of us that goes all the way back to Adam. Hiding in the bushes. When caught, divert, blame, ... writhe in discomfort when the truth comes out. Sometimes I wonder if we'd be in the mess we're in if Adam had just owned up to his rebellion - if Eve had just accepted responsibility for her part in the fiasco in the garden.

Squirming has been hard-wired into our psyches ever since. "Yeah but you see" comes out long before "Yeah I get it." "Yeah but you see" comes with eyes averted, excuses, self-delusion. "Yeah, I get it" allows us to accept responsibility, reduces stress, and lets us look the one we've injured - or our accuser - in the eye.

Admitting we were in the wrong is so much harder than we ever anticipated. But it is the only way to restoration.

It opens the door to learning, to growth. Hiding the truth from others, from ourselves, keeps us from learning from our mistakes because we balk at admitting we have made any. Owning up to our faults, embracing our part in a hurtful situation, these things help us to develop and do better the next time.