Thank you so much for posting this. It has honestly explained a lot about my husband and his reactions to some things/feelings about himself. He was in a relationship with a very emotionally abusive women for a number of years; they have a child together so unfortunately she is still in our lives (and still attacking him - he received twenty text messages from her yesterday because she was angry about something that had nothing to do with him. Keep in mind, they broke up eleven years ago). I suspected he may have some kind of PTSD but I really feel like I have a better understanding of what he is feeling now. Thank you, and OP.

She's pretty amazing thanks - seems to be doing a lot better than I would be in that situation, though I think she's learned a few survival skills along the way. I also suspect my husband still cops the brunt of her abuse rather than their daughter at this stage, though I've witnessed her get upset at things her mother has said to her over the phone when she's with us (completely irrational things), and I know she was acting out badly with her mother a couple of years back, to the point where they needed to attend counselling together (her mother told the counsellor my step-daughter's issues with her were my husband's fault - she is never at fault, of course. So no idea if they were able to successfully work through them).

My husband's ex does have primary custody since they split when my step-daughter was very young. Until he later got court orders the ex would use her daughter as a pawn in her attempts to manipulate my husband to get what she wanted (usually more money on top of all the child support she was receiving - he has a high paying job so the amount was already substantial), so there would often be long periods of time when she wouldn't let him see her, which was so horrible. She'd also threaten to tell his daughter lies about him to turn her against him. My husband fought very hard to have a relationship with his daughter though and always made sure that she knew how loved she is despite not being able to see her as much as he would like (or despite what her mother might have said about him). She seems to see the truth with regard to her dad, thank goodness. We have also been determined from the outset to make sure we provide a stable and loving home for her when she is with us, so I think that has provided a bit of a mental and physical respite for her as she's grown. We worry a lot about her and how her mother might be affecting her, but hopefully we have provided enough of a contrast of a happy, healthy home/relationship that she can see that she is not the problem, her mother is.

Thanks for getting back to me, and for being a rock for your step-daughter's good. My mom had a personality disorder and was super manipulative. She used to try to twist our view of my dad into this evil monstrous abusive alcoholic, which he wasn't (though he had his issues). It took a long time for me to even realize I was allowed to be upset with my mom, that's how well she worked her mind tricks on us. By the time I was in HS, she was giving me prescription narcotics to keep me from being "grouchy" on the weekends. I was a teenager! Grouchy is just what we are. She knew that giving me pills was something she could hold over my head later when she needed something.

I hope as your step-daughter gets older, she'll be able to make the decision to stay with you full time. It sounds like there is a lot more stability with you than with the mother. If not, I just hope she's okay, I guess. At least she has you and your husband as support.

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for your experience. I can't imagine the strength it takes to come out the other side of something like that, particularly with perspective about your parent and with understanding that it wasn't that something was wrong with you - that you were the victim. You give me hope that my step-daughter will also come out the other side with inner strength and understanding. Thank you, and I really hope you are doing ok now.

I really think I understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry for your loss and for what you have been through, but I'm so glad to hear you are doing much better now. I really hope things continue that way. And thank you again for passing on your personal experience and support - after a challenging week, it's helped more than I can say.

THANK YOU for posting the link about emotional flashbacks. I suffered tremendously with these from the time I was a teenager until I was in my late 20's and never really knew what was going on until now - I thought I was just broken and couldn't keep it together. I have managed to get much better since then (I'm 33 now) but still struggle at times. With this knowledge I feel empowered to get even better. Thanks

I've been reading other pages on the site and its really incredibly insightful and illuminating. My husband and I have both suffered w/ PTSD related issues and I now understand more of what we both were going through and why we reacted in ways we did over various things. Again, thanks for posting this site. I've shared it with my husband as well. Link again for anyone who doesnt want to scroll up: http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

When I was 20, I had a stillbirth after going through a 2 year depressive episode and getting myself into a really toxic relationship. In the period after the stillbirth, I hardcore dissociated. I stopped driving because of it. It was like I was on a nightmare trip 24/7 for a while. I'm not sure how long it lasted anymore. I was diagnosed with PTSD a year or two later when I landed myself in inpatient treatment because my parents didn't know what to do with me. My childhood wasn't great. I was raised by teenagers and my mom is really manipulative, but I wouldn't really say I suffered abuse or neglect.

I don't really have flashbacks to the hospital anymore. Can't be totally sure I ever did. My memory of that time (and before) is not great. But I have a lot of (what I call, not sure if it's the right term) panic attacks, where I sob inconsolably and my whole day is ruined after that. The trigger is usually stress or something baby-related. This is CPTSD, you think?

You should look at the Jungian cognitive function stacks. They will probably help you decide. The tests are really just guidelines. The MBTI subs can be helpful, too.

Anyway, I think CPTSD sounds more like my symptoms, but I think I had/have PTSD from the baby thing, I guess. I guess it doesn't really matter, lol. I'm doing a bit better lately. I think I'm going to try therapy again soon. Has any kind of therapy worked for you?

If you have emotional flashbacks I really recommend reading the flashback management link you posted. I came to use a lot of the tips suggested by the author through another source but it's definitely good advice, especially: "Speak reassuringly to the Inner Child. The child needs to know that you love her unconditionally- that she can come to you for comfort and protection when she feels lost and scared." IMO that's the most important thing you can do during a flashback, especially if you're like me and suffered most of your trauma in childhood.

Its not really a stupid reason that it's not included in the DSM-V, it's simply too new a diagnosis, and there's a bit of discussion and debate about what it falls under. For example, the ISSD places it squarely in the DDNOS spectrum (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified).

You are brilliant. Thank you for all this info. I posted the OP link and quoted you a few times on FB, already one friend has acknowledged it for herself and is also looking deeper.

This has also helped give definition and shape to what my fiance and I have faced outside our relationship and why we have worked so hard together-and why we feel like "an island in the world". I had no idea that someday I might actually stop being afraid of people-that I might be able to heal, until recently when I finally realized how far emotionally I've come and soon will be moving out and away from one of the long term factors in my world (my ex hub).

Rebel Circus is a plagiarizing, piece of crap site. Some friends of mine run another fairly popular fb page and I've seen loads of their quotes slapped on a black background with rebelcircus.com at the bottom. They've been called out loads of times and they just delete negative comments. It's not surprising their website is also garbage.

Some context for you all: The owner of Rebel Circus is obsessed with page views and social media "likes." All he wants is for his employees (unpaid early-20-somethings) to regurgitate anything they find on the internet that can be considered edgy (but not actually edgy), throw their logo on it and post it.

He's verbally abusive to his entire staff on a daily basis, knows nothing about his actual audience and doesn't want to, and says some of the most insulting things about women you'll ever hear. Don't give this drivel your clicks.

At first I smirked at this (well played), but then realized it's too true. There are at least four female ex-employees that I know of that had severe psychological health issues from under less than a year of employment there.

Uh. Yeah. This happened to me in an old relationship. It's hard to tell people how the words and actions of another can induce such fear, when it seems like the least traumatic situation. I had a very hard time coming to terms and getting over my experience, with panic attacks and flashbacks... and then trying to explain it to friends or family? It's hard.

Same here man. My last boss was a sociopath and made me depressed. I was living with my parents at the time and they wouldn't let me quit. It was a really difficult time. Looking back, I should have quit as soon as I was seeing the signs. Ugh.

It's surprising that we find that surprising, really. We spend more of our waking hours with coworkers than we do with nearly anyone else, & your boss has control of your paycheque: your ability to put a roof over your head & feed your kids. If they want to terrorise, they can.

Here too. I thought I was over it, but recent events brought it all back to the surface. When someone repeatedly gaslights you, makes you doubt your worth, your very perception of reality, it's a very difficult adjustment to re-learn to trust your own impressions, your own worth, and so forth. It's as serious a threat to the survival of your "self" as physical violence.

Tell your doctor. PTSD involves depression and anxiety. I was being treated for generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and borderline personality disorder. Then I went to a better doctor and he recognized it was all due to PTSD. I had the flashbacks, dissociations, nightmares, etc. I kept getting stuck under the BPD umbrella because of the poor reaction to stress but turned out the only time I met the criteria was when I was in situations with men of authority. It may be that you just haven't shared the key component that makes your doctor realize it is PTSD.

Psychiatrists will want all your symptoms but not the personal details of them like your therapist. So for example you can keep and simple and say "I am having frequent nightmares about my ex and it's affecting my daily life." Think of it like cliff notes.

DBT, a type of cognitive therapy, has helped me the most. It helped me control those triggers and gave me skills to recognize a flashback and calm myself before it became full blown. The right medication was a necessary aid for me as well. It calmed me down and slowed my reactivity. If the PTSD is taking over her life like it did mine at one point then I recommend an intensive therapy program. I made my most progress in a group program that met 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for a month.

My ex from years ago used to get flashbacks and she'd often go from super happy or even turned on to completely curled up in a ball within literally seconds, and would often just completely freeze when she got flashbacks. It took a good couple of years, but she saw a councilor and IIRC eventually received Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which did absolute wonders.

All in all, try and convince her to see a counselor. They really can work wonders.

it took me like two years in a stable relationship to get better and even then, I still have my own problems but they're not nearly as pervasive or negatively affecting my quality of life (or my SO's) as they used to. Me starting to truly feel better about it coincided with him going to jail for abusing another girl - I feel safe for the first time in years.

I'm a lot better at just shutting those thoughts down. That sounds like repression and maybe it is but honestly I've thought about it enough, I'm done with it. I hit a certain point where I was so angry and so frustrated that I couldn't just take those thoughts and memories out, just make them not exist anymore. I just don't want them. I'm done with them. I'm not angry about it anymore... instead I choose to just let it go and not think about it.

Edit: I thought about it, and it's not repression. Honestly he fucked my life up and it took me a long time to put the pieces back together. Now that I have a decent job and I'm finally finishing my degree I don't feel like a worthless piece of shit who let herself be abused and controlled for three years.

I don't think about what he did to me because I've got way more important shit going on. I dwelled on his actions for too long - he doesn't get any more of my time. My life is good now; it's better for me to focus on that.

I'm graduating at 24, instead of 21. I would've been 24 anyway... and since I have more work experience now, realistically, I think it'll just be easier for me to find a job now once I have my degree in hand. Chances are, I wouldn't have found a half decent job until 23/ 24 anyway. Idk. Life is like that. I used to be pissed that he "held me back" but I mean really, 24, I'm basically still a child. Three years is nothing. I'll never get back the prime years of my life (19-22) but that's just something I have to live with I guess.

You can get PTSD from anything traumatic. It really has nothing to do with war, that's just what it's usually associated with because it's considered one of the more traumatic things you can experience.

There's a line in Richard Hammond's autobiography, about his jet-car crash, where he says he feels lucky, in a way, that he suffered a brain injury in a jet car, because people (include himself) immediately understand. Paraphrasing: "I got into a jet powered car with a top speed of 300mph, the next thing I remember I was in hospital, it's not hard to fill in the gaps. I feel really sorry for the poor chap who gets into his car on his morning commute and then wakes up in a hospital with no idea what happened"

there's a lot of discussion on whether psychological trauma can result in PTSD outside of physical trauma. There are in fact many people who will not acknowledge PTSD unless it is associated with a physical trauma.

Really? That's honestly the first time I've ever heard this. I know quite a few guys from my time in the military that didn't suffer physical injury but have been diagnosed ptsd once they returned home just from things they experienced and are suffering with now. It's actually an alarming number/percentage of people I kept in contact with. I'd say as low as 10-20% of guys I keep up with are doing great with no lasting issues. Ptsd is pretty common but depression is definitely the most prevalent. I've suffered a lot from depression myself just trying to figure out how to step back in the mundane day to day of life and fit in.

Well, I know a lot of people believe that PTSD only comes from physical trauma, but I can't recall ever having talked to a professional where I had to convince them that my C-PTSD from chronic emotional abuse was possible.

I hope those people aren't psychological professionals and if they are they need to go back to school.

Edit: I want to elaborate. PTSD can be caused by blunt trauma as well as prolonged physical & mental arousal. Your brain gets used to this heightened arousal state and that's where PTSD comes in. Any professional should have had at least a basic neuropsychology class so they should know this. If not, find a new provider and report that one ASAP.

This is weirdly comforting to read. I was in a relationship like this - I'd say it was about 90% mentally/emotionally abusive and 10% physical. While the physical abuse was not frequent, I was constantly in fear that it WOULD get physical because of the constant emotional abuse. 4 years later, I still find myself super jumpy and flinching anytime my current (non abusive) SO moves too fast. Lately he's started asking "Did you think I was going to hit you?" I never actually think that, it's just kind of a knee-jerk reaction. I don't think I have PTSD, but it's good to know it's not bad to have some lingering effects years later.

My emotionally abusive relationship left me with PTSD. My physically abusive relationship was much easier to handle. It was cut and dry wrong and there was no debate about it. The psychological torture does so much damage because you end up so confused and loose all sense of self worth and reality. It is a constant level of stress. It isn't about the fear of physical violence, it's more about the constant arousal state you're in that fucks with your brain and causes PTSD.

This. My ex-husband almost never raised his voice and never put a hand on me, but he lied to me and gaslighted me constantly for years, and was enormously cruel in passive-aggressive and neglectful ways. Needless to say trying to address this with counseling and respectful dialogue was massively counterproductive.

He hated when I got angry at him, so I learned that my anger was a defensive posture when I was vulnerable, so I worked really heard to show him my vulnerabilities instead. He "rewarded" my good faith efforts to do my part to heal our relationship, by exploiting those vulnerabilities to hurt me as much as possible in his cold and passive way.

I ended up having weird episodes where my head felt like it had been used as a clapper in a bell, and I was terrified of him and just could not ground myself. I eventually figured out that was trauma and I believe CPTSD. It was awful to experience those episodes, and doubly bad because, having learned through experience that talking would only make things worse, in those terrified trauma states I eventually started lashing out and hitting him. I think violence is abhorrent and I was terrified about getting into that crazy panic state and not being able to get out of it.

My violent responses definitely made the whole situation worse. I took this whole evolution as a sign that there was real damage being done and separated from him.

Eventually he admitted under duress that he had been telling me he loved me and wanted to be married to me and wanted to fix the marriage, but inside he drew a sense of power from seeing me denigrated and failing. It was clear that he never wanted to actually be loving partners, only to see me failing and denigrated. I very much regret my violent responses, but I understand them now as a visceral reaction to the knowledge that approaching him in an honest problem solving manner would only make things worse. It was so horrible.

I've started dating again and running into the after effects of this kind of shit is horrible. The only upside is that I know what is going on with me when I have an outsized fear response and I am upfront about it. My new guy is incredibly understanding and tender and patient. It's really healing and I'm very glad for this experience.

My last boyfriend was also very mentally and emotionally abusive and he never actually hit me himself but he'd sometimes throw things at me or punch things, so now every time someone comes at me too fast or starts yelling I cringe. Can't help it it's just an automatic reaction, sad that people who claim they love you can do these things to you. Stay strong!

It's referred to as "Complex PTSD" defined as the manifestation of PTSD symptoms after prolonged and repeated trauma (DESNOS). There's a lot on the internet about it, and though most found on the web is directed towards women and physical abuse such as rape, it is also recognized under the DSM-IV as psychological-emotional abuse under long-term duress and is not a gender-specific condition. Though research on abuse among young boys and adult men is limited on line, studies in the UK, Canada and Australia are proving out that both females and males can equally fall victim to Complex PTSD.

From a male perspective, my wife was very abusive. If I didn't do exactly what she wanted it became a huge thing. Saying No was not done. I was threatened with divorce and told how she could do so much better than me and she married me as a favour. Everything to how often I went to the toilet was monitored. If I was too quick for her liking I was accused of faking. It came to a head when she changed her WhatsApp profile photo to her and another man. A married man with two small kids. She had been going away with him for weekends. The man came to our house and they openly had a relationship in front of me. They sat me down and told me they were in a relationship. He was getting a divorce. She wanted us to stay married and wanted us all to be friends. I watched then cook and go shopping together. Even exchange things such as "who is the most important person in your life". I almost had a breakdown. Was suicidal. Went to my doctor who was horrified. He Put me in a clinic the next day. I am now divorcing her. Taken me a year of therapy to get to that point. I have nightmares, flashbacks and I avoid places that reminds me of her.

Jesus tapdancing Christ, congratulations on getting away from that woman. The fear gets dimmer and dimmer with time. It's finding people (unless you already have some) to help rebuild your self worth with that's important.

Dude, holy crap. I'm so sorry. That is awful. All I can say is you're better off without her, she sounds like a horrible narcissistic human being. One day hopefully you'll mourn the loss of who you thought she was in the beginning and realize what you should be saying is, good riddance!! Life is too short to waste on someone without empathy or compassion.

From what little I could tell from the clickbait and personal experience, the headline is absolutely true. In the United States, there is an entire cottage industry centered around women trying to recover from infidelity, as well as children trying to recover from narcissistic parents.

Well from a male perspective I was in what I now consider an abusive relationship for several years before I joined the army. I've had more physical and mental challenge in the army than most first world people will have in their life time, which is what I was looking for. When I was diagnosed with PTSD it came as a surprise to myself and my psychologist the all my symptoms in terms of flash backs and reliving events weren't of events in the army bit of events in the relationship. I did go though salvage diver selection a couple years ago where I had my first panic attack, they happen a few times a month consistently since then. The panic attacks are always accompanied by images of drowning and of my ex girlfriend, simultaneously. The first hallucination I've had (besides some night terrors during sleep paralysis as a kid) were of my ex girlfriend floating in a blue dress under the water during selection. I've always felt guilty that I'm a soldier seen for ptsd caused by a girl when other war fighters are seen for war ptsd. But the comparison another user said about sandpaper, how a bad relationship wears away at you over time. It's quite true.

Don't feel guilty. I run across a lot of people ashamed they have PTSD because they've never been in the military, and in some cases military guys that had PTSD before they entered and the stress of the military really caused shit to hit the fan. The shame and guilt keeps people from treatment and from managing the disorder. It sucks for everyone no matter the source. It doesn't matter if you are a soldier or a civilian it is still an extremely difficult illness to manage and never feel ashamed or guilty. You got this!

I'm out now and just got done with my first mental health appointment since discharge and for some reason felt the need to look this post up again and saw your comment. It's so true what you said. The shame and guilt that I'm being helped by the VA for a problem that existed before I joined the army feels like cheating. I feel so undeserving of help but I need it so badly. But you helped to put it in perspective. It was a minor inconvenience before I joined. The stresses of that environment exacerbated the hell out of it.

Different people go through different things. You are allowed your own life and your own feelings. Maybe you feel like some people have had it worse than you, but that doesn't discredit what you went through. I can imagine that it must be hard to deal with, but don't feel guilty.

I had a boss who psychologically abused me at least once a week for pretty much my entire 4 years of employment. Cruel, manipulative, and vicious. I'd convinced myself that I was worthless, no other company would take me, and that my only escape was through suicide.

I still have flashbacks. I still have anxiety when something triggers those memories. I still talk negatively about myself, even now, almost 6 years after my suicide attempt. I hope that one day I'll move past it.

It's news because so many people don't understand the nature of trauma. Most people see trauma as "big" events. War, rape, major physical injury. They don't understand how a series of smaller events, none of which would be significant enough to be traumatic on their own, can lead to PTSD.

My best analogy is that emotional abuse is like sandpaper on your psyche. Each individual incident isn't necessarily major on its own, but it ends up wearing away at you until even stuff that shouldn't hurt really fucks you up.

Sadly we aren't even at the point where PTSD is commonly associated with rape. For psych students, yes. For the every day civilian, no. I have spoken to many about PTSD and rape and they can't understand how something "only those who go through war can suffer from" can be experienced by those who suffer from (optional "just") sexual assault.

It's not really just psych students. It is anyone with an education. The reason people don't realize it can happen from non war situations is because they only hear about it from the news. Anyone actually interested can find out fast.

I think even that is a bit misleading. I think just about everyone realizes that rape, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and a myriad of other things can cause psychological damage. Just because people don't know the exact nature of that damage doesn't mean they don't acknowledge that it is there. I don't think realizing that the nature of the damage is PTSD has much meaningful benefit to people in general in understanding or acceptance.

Well it's usually only brought up in mainstream media in conjunction with the military so I'm not surprised a lot of people assume you can only have it if you're a war vet and not just from trauma in general.

I know why it's news. My point is it shouldn't be. It should be common knowledge that trauma and stress in general (and not just major events like war) can cause PTSD, BECAUSE THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF PTSD.

I'll admit I get sort of annoyed to when I see these sort of articles, and I want so say 'ugh why don't people already know this ?'

But to be fair, I had so many misconceptions about mental health too when I was younger. It's regrettable but that's just the truth. There are way too many misconceptions and taboos out there concerning mental health. It's baby steps, but I think those articles open up discussions and do help.

I was watching Jessica Jones with my partner and he was really surprised that abusive relationships could give someone PTSD, literally saying that he thought that was only related to war/combat experience. He's not naïve or uneducated either so I'm sure a lot of people are unaware.

Plenty of people dig their heels in about what causes PTSD, thinking you have to either be a vet who saw combat or something else physically violent. I had a redditor tell me that my doctor diagnosed PTSD from an abusive relationship demeaned those "who really had it" just the other day. It's not common knowledge at all in my experience, especially online.

Was extracting myself from an abusive thing. It took a few months for me to hide, to "vanish". My period stopped for 3 months and I obviously had all the physical manifestations of anxiety, plus huge change in sleep habits as well as a level of sort of paranoia triggered by certain things. Of course I had some sort of PTSD. But this was 25 years ago so in my mind I planned on just grinding through it, moving along once I was safe, and more than anything just wanting my life back. There was way less of a "victim" mindset in 1990 (at least in my perception now) and I never felt like a victim or thought I was one. Yes, I can see today that those experiences have affected intimate relationships since then but mainly in an "identification" way.

It makes me glad to see dialogue about this, because too many people are fixated on the combat aspect of PTSD as a sole way to get it. Been there, physically and emotionally, and yet the emotional scars are the ones I fight with more. If I have one more person tell me that they know better than my doctor and I don't have PTSD because I never saw combat...

I think of PTSD as a condition where your mind has started to wear a groove from thinking the same thoughts over and over. That is a very real effect, and it certainly does not require combat: all it requires is that you be given too much to think about, so that your mind is all hung up and unable to learn what you need to know from that experience. The experience keeps getting recirculated. From a layman's point of view, this used to be called neurosis or trauma.

Dealing with a sociopath, a narcissist, or an adulterer are all classic ways to contract PTSD. My current theory is that these defective personalities are extremely hard to understand, and they cause an enormous amount of pain, so the mind keeps chewing over the same problems, in an effort to find out how to avoid a repetition of the situation.

Your situation may be entirely different as to the facts, but good counseling can help.

Been there, mine was paired with physical violence and I consider what he did emotional violence. Not sure what he was, but he definitely was a piece of work. I'm thriving now, but it pisses me off when people stand on their soapboxes and tell people who've been through hell that they are "crying victim" and say that their trauma isn't legitimate. It kept me from even admitting I had it for a long time after my abuser left. I'm lucky I had a doctor who saw it, because I did not, despite showing the symptoms in the DSV, because of the attitudes we see around here. So many people never get help, for many reasons, but this one really pisses me off. I wouldn't be functioning and doing what I do without that kind of help.

It's so silly and ignorant when people act like someone's PTSD isn't real unless it was caused by being on a battlefield. There's a theory that all mental illness is just different forms of PTSD, and that when we are very young, kids can get PTSD from minor incidents.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and had a hard time accepting it for the same reason given here. I never saw combat. I didn't want to jump on a bandwagon that should be reserved for those who willingly sacrificed themselves for their country - who had to deal with life/ death.

However, the more I worked with my counselor the more it sunk in. Hypervigilent, panic attacks, nightmares, emotional ups and downs, etc. These all fall under PTSD or the advanced PTSD. I think it's C-PTSD which is continual PTSD for those who were exposed to issues for years.

No actually, what is 'silly and ignorant' is when people read an article on a trashy clickbait site and take it as medical/psychological gospel. The Dr Phil/Dr. Oz generation is the epitome of silly and ignorant.

Yes but you do the former a gross disservice by linking it to the latter. Try the official DSM entry for PTSD or read some of the published scientific articles on the topic of PTSD if you want to properly understand the condition. Don't read some bullshit clickbait article that tells you "it's all the sames" and present it as fact...it is not.

Yes those shows are silly and often inaccurate. But this article isn't just click bait it has important information that can spur people to get help for something that they might have spent years brushing off and hurting themselves my doing. It's definitely pushing my to finally find a therapist and deal with my issues from my emotionally abusive ex.

It absolutely does. Darkness, and dark behavior, are disturbing because the actions do not make sense. They are not rational, logical, or predictable. These people are often so selfish that empathy, compassion, and sympathetic feelings for others cannot exist. A person who harms others often has erratic thought processes. He is not sane. His/her behavior is not measured against a stable philosophy but rather a distorted, discombobulated mental state. The truly dark one's are nauseating in their pronounced sickness. Such disjointed minds cannot easily be rehabilitated; It takes years, more years then they have. Drug treatment and isolation from others, so that they do not harm people indiscriminately, is the only way to handle them, assuming they are not simply euthanized.

fetch it if you like but it is true. Body damage is not a direct attack on the psyche. horrific forms of physical abuse is of course excruciating. A person requires emotional support and continued abuse against their psychological condition permanently damages their psyche; that is your self, as opposed to a limb.

You can also get PTSD from a horrific experience at work. You lose all confidence after extended periods of time being terrified of losing your job in a toxic work environment that constantly tells you how shitty you are.

Most people think that any form of PTSD can happen only to people have been in extreme circumstances, such as war. But other traumas can lead to C-PTSD such as physical, emotional, domestic and sexual abuse (especially child sexual abuse).

While C-PTSD is not in the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual, it is widely accepted by professionals and viewed as a combination of PTSD and Stockholm Syndrome, or capture-bonding.

Every victim of abuse experience some (if not multiple) symptoms of PTSD. Dr Joseph M Carver, PhD, says, “These symptoms linger many years; some for a lifetime. Everyone knows this but it's rarely bought up… During our period of abuse, the brain collects thousands of memories that contain details of our abusive experiences and the feelings (horror, terror, pain, etc.) made at that time. In what we call 'traumatic recollection,' any similar experience in the future will recall the emotional memory of the abuse, forcing us to relive the event in detail and feeling."

The National Institute of Mental Health says that PTSD symptoms can be grouped into three categories: Re-experiencing symptoms, avoidance symptoms and hyperarousal symptoms.

Re-experiencing symptoms include: Nightmares, frightening thoughts and flashbacks that cause you to relieve the traumatic event(s) over and over again, leading to physical symptoms like extreme palpitations.

Avoidance symptoms include: Staying away from things, places or events that remind you of your trauma, feeling emotionally numb, being depressed, losing interest in abilities you once enjoyed and having trouble remembering the trauma.

Hyperarousal symptoms include: Being startled easily, always being on edge, being prone to angry outbursts and having difficulty sleeping.

If you think you or someone you love is experiencing C-PTSD, look for the signs: persistent anxiety, hopelessness and depression, thoughts of suicide, feeling alone and stigmatized, being preoccupied/reliving the traumatic event(s), remembering the traumatic event(s) in a fragmented way or exploding into fits of anger.

Recovery from C-PTSD exists. Doctors have divided recovery from CPTSD into three stages: establishing safety, mourning what was lost and reconnecting to society.

Establishing safety: Seek help. You need to find a therapist to help you acknowledge your past trauma and help you regain your sense of control by coming up with plans to deal with future protection.

Mourning what was lost: You will need to reconstruct the story of the trauma. By retrieving the memories and the emotions attached to them, you can finally transform the memories in cognitive therapy.

Reconnecting to society: Reclaim your world. Re-learn how to live. Reconnect with others and become part of a community.

If C-PTSD is left untreated, you can experience a variety of symptoms and conditions which may affect other areas of your life.

These include the inability to handle stress, eating disorders, drug and alcohol addictions, damaged relationships with others, negative outlook on life, crippled self-esteem and suicide.

Complex PTSD should be approached differently in terms of psychotherapy from other forms of PTSD. Seek treatment immediately.

Interesting (but not fun) fact: the most prevalent victims of PTSD are not soldiers but rape victims. Not because war isn't traumatizing but just because rape is so much MORE common than war. Pretty sad really.

I was in a 6-7 year relationship with a boyfriend that became increasingly toxic and physically/verbally abusive. Towards the second half of that relationship, I started fearing having sexual relations with him because it felt more like a forced chore, rather than something we were doing for pleasure. He was attractive physically, but because of what a jerk he was to myself and other people, including my own family, to me he became a very ugly person, and I wanted very little to do with him mentally and physically. Almost every time after I was done shower, it was time to do the deed, so I started dreading the end of a shower. I even dreaded turning off the water to wash my body because he would think I was done. To this day, over 14 years after this relationship had ended, and being married to a different man for the past 12 years, whenever I shower, I STILL feel anxious and stressed out when I turn off the water in the middle or end of a shower. Even though I realize turning off the water doesn't mean my ex is about to try to force sex upon me, I can't seem to create a better association in my mind with that part of my daily life. I know this sounds ridiculous and idiotic, but it's something I've never discussed, even with a professional. I just had to get it out there, and after reading other people's comments, it's really helping me.

I just got out of a really manipulative relationship that was on and off for three years. I don't have the same view of relationship at all. I'm a guy, and I used to want to settle down, get married, have kids. But that relationship made it seem so terrible. I loved her and she was my world, but I'm schizoaffective and she had BPD. She wasn't willing to help me at all, though I would help her every time, I gave her all of myself and my effort and got nothing in return. She would lie about stupid little things and it'd drive me crazy, if I called her out on it she'd start playing dumb or she'd just freak out and start yelling. She'd complain and tell that I'd get paranoid about her, which made it worse. I told her that all I needed was for her to try to understand, just show me love like she used to. But she wasn't willing, she'd rather get pissed off and fake a breakup with me for more attention. So the last time she "broke up" with me, put me through hell yet again, she "took me back" then I dumped her. Clean break. I didn't want to because I was attached to her. She tried to drag it out to hurt me. But I stayed strong and I didn't go back to her for the millionth time.

I'm so glad to be out. But now I don't feel like I'd love again, I don't think I could really trust another person the same. Just wanted to share my story.

Tl;dr I had a gf with BPD who used my schizoaffective symptoms and low self esteem to manipulate Me for 3 years. I'd help her at every chance, she refused to help me or even make an effort.

I had a boyfriend who was cruel. Three times, he would make me pack my shit, all of it, and start driving me to my parents house. It was about a twenty minute drive. On the way there, he would lecture me about how stupid and worthless I was, how could I ever expect to be loved, etc. 5 minutes from my parents house, he would turn around and he would tell me he does love me and he's decided to forgive me, because of how sweet he is, and I'm very lucky to have him. Then we would get back, and I had to unpack all my shit from his car because I made him freak out on me. That's just one of many things he did to me.

Can adult CPTSD result from a combination of these things: Spiritual abuse and emotional abuse from both a religious group and long-term marriage, plus 3 miscarriages, open heart surgery for valve replacement, shunning from a religious groups, financial distress, foreclosure on a home, extreme debt, being forced by a spouse to take a particular unfitting job, leading to 2 job losses with injury on the job, thyroid disease, untreated physical ailments due to poverty, a spouse's emotional infidelity, and his refusal to admit or seek help for probable BPD. Like, can a long term relationship with someone with mild to moderate BPD cause the partner to have CPTSD, Anxiety, Depression, and a possible variety of other mental illnesses?

Try reading the memoirs of victims of domestic violence, then you might see that it doesn't just dawn on you that wow, you're in a DV relationship. It's a process and many victims think that a) it's their fault and they deserve it or b) it will only happen once (then twice, then thrice and so on)...

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