Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Trust be told I don't know which only upsets me further. I don't like feeling this way - if I'm upset about something I prefer (and actually rather like) knowing what it is that I'm upset about. What's worse is that seeing as how something, whatever it be, is bothering me - everything (and everyone) else pisses me off because I'm short fused to begin with and it takes a horrible amount of patience not to just snap with everyone.

Ugh.

I just want to either figure out what is bothering me and be able to voice it or just decide that it's not that important and get over it. J thinks I'm mad at him - which I'm not or at least I don't think that I am - but again because I'm already pre-irritated, everything just seems to be wrong. I just want to scream or yell or something to get this underlying feeling of bitchiness to go away.

I'd like to blame it on lack of sleep but I really don't think it is. Mia slept for like 6 hours straight last night, 1130 to 5, and then J got up with her at 9 so I could get another 1/2 hour. And even if she hadn't slept as long as she did last night, J and I take turns getting up with her so that we both get a halfway decent sleep during the night.

Ugh.

I think I'm just going to go to bed and hope for a brighter tomorrow.

My Girl. My Pride. My Joy.

Random Fact: The shark in "Jaws" was named Bruce, after Steven Spielberg's lawyer.

1 comments:

My guess is you've got the Baby blues. I hit a wall about a month after Kai was born and was just plain depressed, snappy, irritable, etc., etc., for no apparent reason. He wasn't a great sleeper, but it was more than lack of sleep. Give your body and your hormones some time to catch up. You wouldn't believe how bonkers they can make you be for the first 6 months or so. Don't stress about it - happens to every mom in one way or another.

Also, don't let anyone dismiss this bonkers-time, either. Just because you are finally blessed to have little Amelia after such a long wait doesn't automatically mean you will feel ecstatic and blissful every waking moment.

If it gets worse, though, and your thoughts start to get dark and you just can't shake them, tell your doctor right away. Postpartum depression can sneak up on you and it needs to be taken seriously.

Lots of love and hugs for you and your beautiful family. And smooch that baby's cheeks for me!!