My host informs me that Canadians have been extremely good to him, and that if he has to choose between you and me, I'll be getting my mail delivered to the knothole in the oak tree across the street. You don't have to tell me twice.

So, I apologize. I realize that an arctic air mass is fair trade, considering that in recent years we've given you Britney Spears and Herbie, Fully Loaded. (I'm not going to bring up Anne Murray. I'm not I'm not I'm not.) I'm very sorry for what I said.

I know I should probably say this all over in French, but the only French expressions I know are "Où est le lavabo des dames?" and "Plus forte."

Okay, how was that? Am I done?

No. Go on. Do it.

Fine. And a one, and a two–

O Canada!Our home and native land!True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Am I done now?

Yes. That was very nice.

It would have been better on my harmonica.

I'm not giving you the harmonica back until you apologize to Mrs. Teitelbaum in 1503 for what you did to her cat.

Glad you did that Dolores ,I might be a Brit. but looking at The Canadian Knitters Guild I was knocked out at the knits .If I ever had to live anywhere else it would be there .I have to mail Lucy Neatby about making a pattern available later .angie .

Dolores,you are welcome to visit us here in Canada any time. I'll even teach you to curl - or at least you can come and watch - the bar overlooks the ice, and it's customary for the winners to buy the first round, then the loser reciprocate, and so on, and so on... You'd love it.

you MUST write a book, c'mon, you and Dolores? You would be a great team..You continue to be my morning "laugh out loud"..in fact I read it several times so I can have a laugh...too much..Susanne a proud Canadian standing along side Dolores..

As a Minnesotan, I've often had thoughts similar to Dolores' regarding Canadians and the weather. Forecasters often refer to "Canadian cold fronts," "cold air masses from Canada," and "Alberta clippers." Cananda never gets credit for warm fronts or any kind of pleasant weather that comes our way. Now it's making me think . . . maybe there's an anti-Canada conspiracy afoot in the meteorological community. Or maybe I've had too much coffee this morning and need get back to work.

This Canadian forgives you, Dolores. Canadians can't stay very mad at somebody who declares love for Gordon Lightfoot. And I'm sure you have one more French phrase in your limited vocabulary: "voulez-vous couchez avec moi? ce soir?"

Sandra I fear Dolores will just bring her fleece-rollers and the ice will be chipped for her gin.She's probably looking at pictures of long-haired sheep breeds and hoping you'll at least add extensions.

Oh, Dolores, surely Franklin has mentioned his fondness and awe for another Canadian musician, the dark, swarthy, dwarflike accordian-wieldingBenoit Bourque?Surely he should've been prominently included in your admirable Canadian motif?

Okay, Franklin.Your lovely tasteful kindly friendswho took you out on a spinning jaunt admire BB.It's time for you to admit he's an extremely talented musician (look, he plays the BONES)and a very handsome man.Not to mention a highly graceful giguer.And completely charming.

Apology accepted... but I must admit that when Canada is threatened, I guess I don't feel concerned as much as I could/should. Maybe the fact that I had to look up in Wikipedia to find out who Gordon Lightfoot was explains a bit as to why...

While I was laughing so hard reading your apology, my friend pointed me to a Canadian apology that has been offered to Americans a few years ago. I thought I'd share it with you, Dolores; the effort you've made is at least worth some form of reciprocity: http://www.colinmochrie.com/work/22min_Apology.html

And well, maybe I'm not very knowledgeable in English Canadian culture, but I'm doing much better on the French side. So when the book is written, I'd be more than happy to do the French translation! Oh, and please tell Franklin that *I am* a literary agent up here...

LeeAnn, I was thinking that Franklin should visit Montreal. I think he'd really enjoy the place.

I thought yesterday that it would be nice for me to visit, since I haven't been there since '86. Go to the Fairmont Bagel Factory, Patisserie Belge (sp? the Florentines are wonderful), Biddles; take in a pipe organ recital at Redpath Hall. Buy some alpaca...

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