Breaking the kɔɪli hair myths

I just
typed in coily for the heading of this piece and that offensive red line from
Microsoft Word proceeded to inform me that such a word does not exist. Google
the word too and you will definitely not find it in the Merriam-Webster
Dictionary. I paused and stared at the screen for a second then right clicked.
Add to Dictionary:

Coily:
/kɔɪli/adjectiveA hair texture resembling a very tight
spring that is most visible when hair is wet.

That is
my hair. Not curly. Not wavy. Not straight. My hair does not spiral curl.
It doesn’t form flowing ringlets around my face. It doesn’t spill over my
shoulders when I turn my head. It sometimes chunks up into a soft pillow of
zigzags. It sometimes forms an impenetrable wall that has broken many
combs. It loves water but recoils as soon as contact is made. Sometimes I
hate it. Most times I love it. That’s my hair.

Ironically,
many people have recoiled when I use that word to describe my hair. One friend
shifted uncomfortably and laughed nervously, “Wunmi, coily is just…I don’t
know…it’s just a funny word” Another reminded me that coily was what uneducated
market women in Nigeria said when they meant to say curly. “It’s just somehow
razz, shey you get” Somehow unsophisticated. Somehow local. My hair.

But
beyond the words we use to describe our natural hair, the assumptions we make
are even far more interesting. Some of the ones I have encountered are:

Natural
hair is tough: This assumption normally takes two forms. 1) That our hair is so
tough and tangled, that it is too difficult to ‘manage’ without the use of
relaxers, texturizers and heat. My ex-hairdresser obviously thought my
hair was made of steel given the way she would blow dry through knots without
detangling first, yanking my head this way and that and leaving my once
luscious coils in a hacked, dry fuzz ball. The next time I visited her and
suggested she do my cornrows without blow-drying first, she blatantly refused.
She was not about to get her hands into that twisted mess. She was not about
that life. 2) We think our hair is so tough that it doesn’t need special care
or attention. Pictures of mouldy, dry and breaking hair after the weave or
braids take-down tells us otherwise. All hair –irrespective of its texture-
needs tender loving care.

Natural
hair does not grow: This one is a consequence of of the first
assumption. Because we think our hair can weather any storms and fires we throw
its way, we tend to leave it uncared for and then, surprise surprise, wonder
why it seems to not have grown at all. Truth is our hair definitely grows. The
fact that you might have to go for a relaxer touch-up every six weeks is
testament to this. That is all new hair that has grown from your scalp. The
problem is that we tend to maltreat the longer ends so much that they break
off. Black hair actually tends to be very fragile because of how tightly coiled
it is. Each coil represents a breaking point because the bend in the strand
weakens the shaft. Also our hair tends to shrink in its natural state so that
it appears to be shorter than straight or wavy hair.

If you
have natural hair that is soft or longer than your chin, you probably have
mixed heritage. Maybe your great-great grandfather was Indian or white or you
are African-American. So now you understand that your natural
hair needslots of love. You make sure to moisturise and oil your
ends, go for deep conditioning treatments, eat properly and drink water and you
can now see the extra length coming through. You are happy and proud of
yourself. Until you are walking down the road and a stranger exclaims at the
sight of your hair. “Wow girl, is that all your hair? It’s so long for
black hair! How did you do it? Are you mixed race? Are you African-American?”
Normally I would want to proceed into a lecture about my 100% African roots
(pun absolutely intended) but now I smile, bite my tongue and keep
walking. It is not this stranger’s fault. He or she does not get to see images
of healthy natural African hair often enough to debunk the myths. We have
become so desensitised from our own hair that it can only be long, beautiful
and luscious when it has been mixed with Asian or European genes. As Boipuso
once said, we have unlearned how to take care of our hair. It was not a mistake
but an active process steeped in history and all those factors that we will not
go into here. We had the proper knowledge of how to take care of our hair. Our
indigenous butters and oils that are now increasingly popular in the US and
Europe, had been beauty staples of our people for years but we, the educated
ones now tend to consider these unsophisticated and local until they are
imported back for us.

Natural
hair is high maintenance. It can definitely be. But
that is because of our own lack of knowledge. I have had hairdressers
that would not lather my hair because it was too thick and
had problems trying to blow-dry it. Others who would charge me for
having to use more shampoo and those who rolled their eyes at me if I brought
in my own natural products to use. They mostly thought I was high maintenance.
Another friend told me explicitly that maintaining her natural hair would be
more expensive than her Brazillian weave. Interestingly, I have saved myself a
lot of money and headaches since choosing to go natural. I still rock braids
and weaves when I feel like it but I do not go into a cold sweat at the thought
of styling my own natural hair. I wash and deep condition every two weeks,
apply shea butter and water every two days and mostly stick to a bun for work.
That's it. No fuss and no unnecessary expense. If I'm feeling less lazy I might
attempt a twist out or a different updo but I would not do it if it takes more
than 30 minutes from start to finish. Our hair is perceived to be high
maintenance because we have not invested enough time and energy in
understanding what it needs and what works.

Information
on natural hair has become increasingly available especially in the US with a
myriad of products on offer to address changing needs. The relaxer market in
the US has declined from 21% of the total black hair industry to 15% as more
women choose to be natural. YouTube videos from African-American bloggers have
often given me more information than any hair stylist or hair dressers closer to
home. While the community is slowly growing in Africa, the pace remains slow
with many becoming discouraged due to the lack of information and support. The
irony of it all is that we once had all the indigenous knowledge right at our
fingertips. Knowledge, as always, is power.

By
starting this blog, we at team kɔɪli hope to help you break the myths and
better understand your hair. We are not on a natural hair crusade but on a
happy hair journey. By exploring the indigenous oils and butters that we have right at our doorsteps and the techniques that have been in our midst for centuries, we hope to at least
highlight that you have a lot more options when it comes to your hair.