Description

We check in with an alternate reality version of the podcast, coming from a family friendly dimension where Arnie and his pals record a weekly children’s podcast. They’re joined by old friends including Flower and a very angry boy.

Summary

Hey kids, it’s a magic tavern! About three years ago, Arnie fell through a dimensional portal behind a Little Beans Cafe in Evanston, Illinois into the magical, fantastical, family friendly land of Foon! Luckily, the portal is still open so Arnie can home every night to his family and upload the podcast he records in the Purple Minotaur, on Hogsface Street, in the land of Foon! Kids email him frequently with their concern about Arnie’s work/life balance, but Arnie says it’s worth it!

Arnie introduces his good friend, Dewey the Dolphin! Arnie points out that Dewey is a dolphin this week because he turns into whatever he hugs! Dewey tells Arnie that someday he’ll hug Arnie! That sounds so fun to Arnie!

Arnie introduces his other good friend, Usidore the Blue Wizard! Arnie asks Usidore has been up to this week and Usidore says that he’s been learning new magical spells! Dewey asks Usidore to teach us one and he agrees! This is a spell that everyone can do with their mom and dad’s permission! Usidore counts one… two… three! The spell is that you’ve learned to count to three because numbers are magic!

Since Dewey has become a dolphin, he’s been counting how many blowholes he has and wants Arnie to help him count! One… two! Two blowholes! Dewey asks Arnie if he has a blowhole, and Arnie says no but that he wishes he did! Dewey explains that blowholes are how he expels air! Arnie says that sometimes you don’t have to be an authority on everything and that asking questions is okay! Dewey says that if you see someone and want to ask them a question, you should do it, even if you don’t know them! Dewey then asks Usidore what his favorite food is! Usidore’s favorite food is pickles! Dewey asks Arnie what his favorite food is! Arnie says his favorite food is also pickles! Let’s count how many people in the room like pickles! One… two! Dewey doesn’t like pickles because they might get stuck in his blowholes!

Usidore learned another magic trick and wants to show us! Don’t forget to ask your parents’ permission! Get a jar, put in some water, vinegar, salt, and cucumbers and you’ve made your own pickles!

Sometimes Dewey doesn’t ask his mom’s permission because sometimes she can really get on his tale, so he likes to flip her off! Kids, it’s okay to flip off your mom… if you’re a dolphin only!

Also, make sure your parents are listening to the podcast and leave a review!

Arnie introduces one of our favorite friends, Flower! Flower is thinking of changing her name today to Blossom, because identity is fluid and she has ownership over her own life! Arnie asks Flower why she was feeling so bummed this morning and she explains that she was jealous of what other people have going on in their lives and it’s hard sometimes because she can’t move, but she found something to celebrate about herself — her roots! Dewey reminds her that as a strong independent flower, she can soil herself! It’s so important to soil yourself, kids!

Arnie suggests that instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she should focus on what she can do! Hey kids, what are some of the things a flower can do? That’s right!

Arnie introduces another good friend, Blemish! Blemish is a minion of the Dark Mood! Blemish is tired of cooking cleaning and he’s in a bad mood! Usidore knows what will cheer him up - singing a song! Arnie asks Blemish what is wrong and Blemish says that he’s sad he hasn’t seen his friends because he’s been doing chores all day! Arnie tells Blemish that it’s okay to have big feelings! Maybe we can all work together to help Blemish deal with his feelings!

Channel your feelings into a big fireball!

Draw something!

Run around in circles!

Think of ideas for podcasts!

Julienne some vegetables!

Blemish is feeling anger! He is going to julienne some vegetables with his left hand and draw with his right hand, while his brain thinks of podcast ideas! Blossom suggests he name his anger Julianne! Blemish is going to make friends with Julianne so that when she comes over, he won’t get crazy! Arnie asks Blemish wants to join Usidore’s quest to defeat the Dark Mood and he says yes! Blemish becomes worried that Usidore won’t like him by the end of their journey, but Usidore assures him that Blemish is one of his best friends! Usidore thinks it’s time for Arnie to take a break and go back to his family for a little bit! Arnie has a great family! Before Arnie goes, Dewey wants to hug Arnie but doesn’t because he senses Arnie’s hesitation so he doesn’t! Arnie remembers all the handwritten letters from kids asking what would happen if Dewey maybe hugged someone’s hand or hugged a tree, and Dewey introduces us to a new word: overthinking!

It’s time for Dewey’s Do’s and Don’ts!

Do question what you want!

Don’t send anymore handwritten letters asking him what he would turn into if he hugged himself because that’s obnoxious!

Arnie comes back and tells us what he cooked his daughter for breakfast! Dewey asks Arnie if he had pickles, and Arnie says that he didn’t have them with breakfast, and Dewey accuses Arnie of lying because Arnie told Dewey that he loved pickles!

It’s time for another Dewey’s Do’s and Don’ts!

Do be honest with your friends!

Don’t lie!

Dewey says he needs to get back in the water, he’s been on land for too long! Arnie wants to know if Dewey is any danger, and Dewey forgets that he has his echo location turned on! Dewey asks if Arnie knows what that means and Arnie says no, but that’s okay not to know!

Usidore says that Arnie was right not to eat pickles, because that’s all Usidore ate during the break and now he’s bright green! Dewey knows what will make him feel better — saying some of Usidore’s known names!

Professor Goodtimes!

Mister Spaghetti!

Choppy Blanket!

Abundance McGuire!

Cookie Monster!

Chocolate Taco!

Theo Headphones!

A baby chick came out of Blemish’s mouth! He loves chicks! Blemish is afraid that people will think he’s weird because chicks come out of his mouth, but Usidore assures him that if that were the case, then they’d all be weird! And that’s okay! Usidore suggests that Blemish sings a song about it, and he does! It makes him feel better!

Usidore warns that the Dark Mood is near and you need to be careful!

It’s time for another Dewey’s Do’s and Don’ts!

Do speak your mind!

Don’t fearmonger!

Arnie says our new word for this week is “overcorrecting”! Usidore is afraid that his emotions will bubble up and he will lose control, but Arnie says he should get in touch with his emotions! Usidore gives it a try and goes into the Emotion State! Dewey gets scared and asks Arnie what a cockel is! Usidore feels better, but while he was in the Emotion State, he was able to see across all dimensions! There are millions of versions of Arnie across the multiverse!

Dewey has a question for his good friend, Can-Do the Wizard! Arnie seems reluctant and confesses that Can-Do the Wizard makes him nervous! Arnie finally relents and Dewey praises him for his can-do attitude! Arnie just got that reference and Dewey tells Arnie that he’s dense!

Can-Do the Wizard comes over and Dewey asks him not to push his agenda, because he has a question for him! Dewey wants to know about the multiverse! Can-Do explains that there are infinite universes. Dewey wants to count to infinity! Suddenly, Fourteenidore arrives! He asks Usidore if he liked the pickles he baked him! Usidore says he ate them all! Fourteenidore doesn’t want to wear out his welcome, but Can-Do invites him to stick around! Can-Do goes away and takes a nap!

We learned a lot of stuff today, kids!

Usidore learned how to start counting to infinity!

Dewey learned to ask questions when you don’t know something!

Blemish learned that feelings can be scary, but they’re alright!

Blossom learned that anything she thinks is possible, is possible!

Usidore learned that you can’t just eat pickles!

Dewey learned that sometimes Arnie lies!

Arnie learned that you just can’t win with Dewey, no matter what dimension he’s in!

Arnie also learned that there are multiple universes and that somewhere out there, they are all sitting in a tavern like this one (at this very table!) in space! Usidore says the bravest person today was Blemish and he deserves a hug! Blemish is today’s hero! While hugging Blemish, Usidore slips him a pickle!

Melchoir, keeper of the doom horn that plays at the end of every show blows his horn! Dewey gave Blemish a hug and now he looks like Blemish! Arnie ends the show by singing the End of the Show song!

We love you, we love you, goodnight!

New Characters

Fourteenidore

Melchoir, Keeper of the Doom Horn that Plays at the End of Every Show

Can-Do the Wizard

Earth References

Flipping someone off

Blossom

Julianne Moore

"Chocolate taco"

Notes

The Chunt counterpart of this dimension changed shape immediately after hugging Blemish. It is not known how much time needs to pass for Foon's Chunt to shapeshift after having sex with another creature.