Twenty Words or Less

August 1, 2013

The other day talk radio host Jim Rome asked his listeners to describe their personal philosophies in twenty words or less. With telling alacrity his adrenaline-fueled audience flooded the twitter verse with haiku-like epigrams which can be boiled down to less than half their allotted word count: Watch sports, drink beer, and avoid the Wife.

Now I’m no counselor, but if your personal philosophy includes avoiding the one person you’re supposed to love and cherish above everyone else in the world, I have to think something’s wrong with your relationship.

Before the jocks reply that it’s all a joke and I’m taking life too seriously, let me remind them they used their fifteen seconds of fame to insult the person they chose to marry. Nobody made them do it. Their insult reflects more upon their own judgment than it does upon their spouse.

And yes, I’ve been married; and no, it didn’t work out. So I understand how relationships ebb and flow. At certain times one party may avoid the other for a while. It’s the nature of things, but hardly an ideal to strive for and certainly not worthy of including in a personal philosophy.

Then again, maybe the anti-wife tweets were a minority and their selection to read on-air reflects more on Mr. Rome than anything. I almost hope so. I’d rather not have to conclude that the men of this country have become submissive, docile alcoholics, too self-defeated to do anything to improve their situation.

Marriage is changing. Family is changing. We – right now, you and I, our generation – are fighting for the freedom to build our families the way we want to. We have the opportunity to model them so our children grow up knowing they’re free to build their own families how they want to. This is a unique time in history.

I urge every jock who’s still paying attention (and anyone else this may apply to) to stop avoiding your spouse. Spend some time with them. See what you have in common. If the connection you once had isn’t there anymore I urge you to face the truth of this, hard as it may be. But you don’t have to hate each other. Divorce doesn’t need to be failure. It can be an opportunity to build a bigger family.

Think how much easier our children will accept that statement twenty years from now, if we set the right example today.