Why Parents Need to Schedule Panic Time

And, the result of planning is nothing going according to plan. So, particularly as a parent, it’s vital to remember to schedule time to panic into your plans.

Take yesterday, for example. We planned to get our kids’ gear ready for today’s first soccer practice of the fall season. Sounds simple enough.

One might wonder why one would schedule time to panic when the plan is to accomplish something so simple.

Clearly the one whom wonders that either has no children, or is still suffering the effects of the concussion received when one collided with the playground equipment while trying to catch one’s 2 year old, who had, in the span of less than 30 seconds, pooped in her diaper, stripped down to nothing, and taken off running across the playground. For the third time. This week.

There’re two things I’ve learned as I stumble along, trying to parent my 7 children. First, there’s no such thing as too much chocolate. And, second, one must always schedule time to panic.

With soccer starting for 5 of my kids today, that goes double.

My children are each very different people, but my whole pack has one thing in common. They all love soccer. From the time they could crawl, each and every one of them chased after that ball.

And, somehow, despite my complete lack of coordination (I’ve fallen just thinking about watching them play) they’re all gifted players. I guess I’ll have to wait to see how theirkids play to know whether that’s because soccer skills skip a generation, or because mixing two science geeks, who met at a marching band concert, spontaneously creates major soccer skills in their children.

Either way, my pack is filled with amazing soccer players who excel in every area of the game, except one:

They can’t keep track of their soccer stuff.

I have lost count of the number of shin guards I’ve purchased because someone could only locate one, which, for you non-soccer people, let me just say really doesn’t work out well.

We’ve had cleats disappear, never to be seen again, before they even made it to their first game.

Socks and shorts are forever going on the lam. The money I’ve spent replacing them could have paid for our own private soccer field several times over.

Today being the first day of practice, I wasn’t the least bit surprised to find out half of our kids’ shin guards and a couple of cleats were AWOL.

Somehow the soccer season and the accompanying need for gear take my family by surprise every year, despite having been on the calendar for months. And, as usual, we also forgot to schedule time to panic about the missing gear.

This panic, as it always does, caused our home to be filled with the relaxing tones of “patient” prodding as their dad, The Professor, attempted to “encourage” the kids to find their stuff.

I don’t understand what he’s so upset about. After all, during the panicked process, he found his left cowboy boot, 3 cordless phones (only 2 of which belong to us), his jigsaw, and what was either formerly a banana or a crayfish.

Years ago, in the interest of family harmony, I bought a big tub with a lid and labeled it “Soccer Cleats & Shin Guards.” My family loved it. They oooh’d and aaah’d over it. They marveled as I demonstrated the procedure whereby one might remove the lid, place one’s soccer gear inside of the tub, and return the lid to its original location. They were all impressed.

They were shocked when I then lifted the lid and revealed that their valuable possessions were, in fact, still there, inside the tub, where they had put them. As anti-neatites, the idea of putting something where it belongs was foreign and a bit unsettling to my pack. But, they seemed intrigued and interested in the notion of being able to use the magical tub to keep track of and to locate their belongings.

All pledged to make use of this valuable new tool, and to fully embrace this minion of organization.

I rejoiced.

They never used it. It’s still in brand-new, pristine condition.

Yesterday, while on the traditional hunt for their soccer gear, besides completely destroying our home, my pack located four missing library books from the last city we lived in, two notes from teachers requesting conferences last spring, and one goldfish.

The goldfish was a bit on the crispy side.

The missing cleats and shin guards continue to elude them.

I told them not to worry. The missing soccer gear will turn up. It always does.

About the author

ginavalley

Gina Valley is a humorist, who lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband & their 7 children, who provide her with more inspiration than she needs for her blog Gina Valley – The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom. She finds humor in parenting her pack, navigating life, & trying to show up anywhere on time. She loves to cook, if someone puts the ingredients in those little glass bowls, & spends much of her time carpooling and inventing new curse words (at the same time!). If she’s out of chocolate, run and hide! Gina’s work appears widely on the web.
Laugh along with Gina on:Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

I so feel for you with the 7 kids. It sounds like my parents house when we were younger with 5 of us and a couple cousins all the time. It is best to plan for the panic when you know there is things that will always go not how you want it to go. Thanks so much for sharing.

Thank you for stopping by, Rebecca! Sounds like you grew up in a family similar in size to the one I grew up in. Probably just as crazy, too!
I agree with you that it’s best to count on things not going according to plan, and to plan to panic. ;o)

Wow – panic time! How could I never think of this?! It should even be a brand name. Someone should create some product or app to help parents during panic time. I love it, and I’ll start using that terminology and scheduling it in. 😀

I totally agree, I have twins and I really need to schedule panic time for the number of things that go oh so well with the original plan. Lol. Sarcasm aside, I feel you. I can’t imagine how much I spent on things that they should’ve already had but gone AWOL as well.

I used to make my kids get their stuff ready the night before. Thus always saved us the hassle of finding stuff in a hurry. I played soccer growing up and my stuff lived in a gym bag unless it was being washed.

I prefer that method, too, Christy. When we’re getting ready to travel I try to get everyone moving the week before. Unfortunately, nothing seems to make my family more uncomfortable than getting ready ahead of time. I can’t count the number of times my kids have grabbed their sports duffle to head out the door, and I’ve had to point out that it appears to be empty! ;o)

You are so right, Liz! Disaster seems to always strike at the worst time possible. Our dryer always dies the week I’m washing clothes for our family vacation. Someone always gets sick the day before we are expecting company. Never fails! ;o)

I like your style, Robin! It’s a great idea to have a private place to panic, especially since you have the forethought to bring chocolate. Panic time chocolate is definitely something you don’t want to have to share.

I will have to keep all this in mind for when our boys become a little older. I really don’t know how I will keep everything in check as tgey are so close in age and will be doing most activities at the same time.

I feel you. I wouldn’t be surprised if kids would one day think they misplaced the refrigerator! It is indeed stressful to be a parent and just like what you said, we should always be prepared for panic days.

I agree with you, Annemarie! So far mine seem to have no trouble finding the refrigerator, but they rarely can find what they were supposed to get out of it. I’m sure misplacing the entire thing can’t be far behind. ;o)

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About Author

Gina Valley is a humorist, who lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband & their 7 children, who provide her with more inspiration than she needs for her blog Gina Valley – The Glamorous Life Of The Modern Day Soccer Mom. She finds humor in parenting her pack, navigating life, & trying to show up anywhere on time. She loves to cook, if someone puts the ingredients in those little glass bowls, & spends much of her time carpooling and inventing new curse words (at the same time!). If she’s out of chocolate, run and hide! Gina’s work appears widely on the web.
Laugh along with Gina on:Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest