Often when Jill and I go somewhere without our children, we call it adate. Well, today wasn't our average date. It was more like lunch anda funeral. I know that sounds strange, but this wasn't your averagefuneral.

The guy who passed away suddenly of complications from diabetes hadbeen a very prominent pastor with the Baptist Churches of Congo. Hehad a PhD and taught at the Christian University here in Kinshasa. Thememorial service was at the largest Protestant church building in townand was packed with people showing their respects. Several people gavetestimonies of how this pastor had gone out of his way to touch theirlives and what a great family man he was. He was remembered well.

The pastor who gave the message – there were at least fifty pastorspresent and ten or so who had different parts in the service – hadsome great things to say about their former seminary professor. Hementioned that when the deceased was his professor in Seminary heoften said, “It's not those who start well who will be blessed, butthose who end well.” I thought that was a great interpretation ofHebrews 13:7. He then went on to say that there are two ways to liveand two ways to die. We can live and die with Christ. Or, we can liveand die alone. He said that his old professor had lived and died theright way. It was a great exhortation to the hundreds of people whowere there.

One thing that we found difficult to understand at the funeral had todo with the deceased pastor's wife. She was brought to the front forprayer, which is not how we would do it in our culture. Then thepastor showed everyone her wedding ring and said that when she putthis ring on she agreed that it was “until death do us part”. He wenton to say, “Today this contract has been completed. This contract isno longer in effect.” Basically the pastor was saying that thismarriage contract has ended.

Jill and I both felt very sad for the wife of the deceased pastor. Inour culture this type of statement would be totally out of place.However, when I asked a pastor about this he quickly pointed out thatin Congolese culture this was the best thing that they could do forthe wife. Because when they were married the pastor had given manyrequired gifts to the girl's family, she had become, in effect, hisproperty. And often even after death the family will make demands onthe family of the deceased. So, the pastor was actually doing his bestto set the woman and her children free from the bondage of oldcultural traditions. He was giving her a chance to move on. It was anact of mercy.

I have to say that this was quite an uplifting memorial service. Thepastor was remembered well with much respect. His family wasministered to. And the congregation was exhorted to finish the racewell with Jesus in our lives. There were a lot of people there withdeep deep faith. It was very encouraging to us.

So, maybe it wasn't your normal “dinner and a movie” date. But, I'mglad that Jill and I got to share this experience together. It wasencouraging, uplifting and culturally appropriate. All I can say isthat I hope that I can be remembered in such a way.