Verizon CSR Gives Fake "Callback" Number That Rings A Dating Hotline

Ariel’s phone and DSL inexplicably stopped working and Verizon told her that it would cost her $91 to have it fixed. She agreed and reluctantly took a day off work to wait for the Verizon tech, who, shockingly, never showed.

Ariel let the Verizon CSRs convince her into risking second day off work, and… the Verizon tech still didn’t show. While she was waiting, she amused herself by calling Verizon in the hopes of reaching someone who could help her. She did not have much luck.

Ariel’s list of Verizon CSR responses is nothing short of wonderful, but this one is our favorite:

-“You can call me (800) 567-8932″–Employee 1220″ (when I called the number, there was no real person there, but an automated message: “Don’t wait to meet new and exciting people, call now!” Does this mean one of your employees works for some sort of pornographic hotline as well as Verizon? Well, there’s an interesting twist on customer service, but doesn’t it strike you as inappropriate that this was given out to a customer who only wants DSL service restored?)

Verizon, we called the number you gave Ariel and, sure enough, got the message she describes. We recorded it in case any of our readers are interested in Verizon’s new dating service. Good job, Verizon. By the way, your actual number is (800) 567-6789. Just in case you want to make note of it.

Ariel writes (to the CEO of Verizon):

The President of Verizon (if such a person exists)
140 West Street
23rd Floor
New York, NY 10007

Dear Mr./Ms. President of Verizon (if you exist),

As I write this, it is my second full day waiting for someone (a scheduled “dispatcher”) to actually address my Internet problem caused by your horrific service.

I am convinced that this person will never show up. That he or she is something like the Sasquatch or the Yedi. Maybe the Tooth Fairy. Except the Tooth Fairy is much more reliable.

Since I have no Internet service and nine hours trapped in my apartment waiting for you (eighteen if we count last week’s waiting too, but really, that would be pedantic, wouldn’t it?), I figured I would write out this complaint so that I can snail-mail it to you. The good ol’ Pony Express never disappoints.

I have spoken with countless representatives at your company for the past six days to resolve my problem, but for to no resolution, it seems. There is NOT ONE PERSON at your company who is willing to help a customer. This is disgusting, disgraceful, and appalling.

I am sending a copy of this letter to FOX News’ “Shame, Shame, Shame!” series, as well as to consumerist.com, The New York Times and Consumer Reports.

Allow me to explain my problem for what feels like the millionth time: my phone service inexplicably died on Wednesday, August 1st. I was told by Verizon representatives that I would have to pay a minimum of $91.00 for someone to resolve this problem, which your company admitted it had caused itself. Aggravated though I was, I accepted this answer, as I was simply relieved and astounded that someone actually agreed to fix my problem.
Furthermore, I don’t believe in negotiating with terrorists.

As I mentioned, a representative promised that “someone” would come to my home on Friday, August 3rd, leaving me without phone or Internet service for three days.

I accepted this. After all, I grew up in the 80s. I know what it’s like to live in the Stone Age.

I took off from work on Friday, August 3rd, in order to wait for the repair person to fix my phone and restore service (there was no dial tone). I should state here that, like the seven people, who, like me, are not billionaires in the United States right now, I do not have the money to take days off from work. In fact, I am a New York City schoolteacher who has taken on a summer job teaching inner-city students simply so I can pay my own bills. After all: waiting for phone service and repairmen is just a part of life, like the SATs or poor healthcare. You dread it, you live with it, and you expect it.

What I DO take issue with, though, is that I stayed at home waiting for repairmen to come, and even though everyone at Verizon knew this was about as likely as finding a diamond in my epiglottis, no one had the decency to wake me up from my dream world where a company fulfills its promise to the customer.

No one came, but at approximately 1:20 PM on Friday, I received an automated call that said my phone service had been fully restored. A miracle! Hallelujah! YIPEE!

But of course my service had not been fully restored: my DSL line still did not work. I called customer service, and after waiting on hold for forty-five minutes, someone was finally willing to help me. I followed all of his advice, from unplugging the modem to unplugging and plugging wires in to unplugging the wire from the jack to everything else he requested. I would have made a souffl

if he thought it would help my DSL line. And I don’t cook.
Still, no dice.

So I called again. I had to go through the exact same process, with your representative refusing to believe that this was something I could not fix, with your representative refusing to acknowledge that this was something I had already done with another representative.

Truthfully, with an Ivy League education and a masters degree, really, couldn’t I fix it myself?

In a sad moment of my personal history, I admit that, brow-beaten and badgered, I was reduced to tears by one of your representatives. Literally. (Feel free to check, as I’ve been told countless times that my “calls may be recorded for quality assurance”, though “quality” seems to be an odd choice of words, don’t you think?) Only when confronted with a crying customer was the representative willing to “transfer me” to someone else, who claimed to be a “supervisor”. The supervisor, amazingly, agreed to send out a “ticket” so that someone would come to restore the DSL service.

So, lesson learned: there is at least one way you can get service from a Verizon representative. Be ridiculed by them, cry, and then take another unpaid day off of work so that your inner-city students can fall even further behind rather than receive the supplemental class work they so desperately need.

Kudos, Verizon!

Today is Monday, and as I write this, no one has come to my home to fix my service.

Shocking, I know.

Frustrated and disgusted by your despicable business practices, I decided that the best way to spend my wasted unpaid day at home away from my students was to call your company and find out what on Earth I would have to do to receive service of any kind. At this point, I’d even take terrible service if I felt at all like my problem was being addressed. Over the course of the day (and that means six phone calls to your customer service team, with a wait time ranging from 20-35 minutes each time. FYI: I have Windows XP, and a Westell modem that is model number 327W. I have entered this information into the phone about sixteen times, so believe me, I know.)

I have received the following comments from various members of your customer service team. I use the word “service” merely as an idiomatic phrase here, as the word implies that your company actually cares about its customers, which, we can agree, it clearly does not.

-“Oh yes, the dispatcher is on his way!” (no dispatcher)
-“Can I call you back?” (no call back)
-“You can call me (800) 567-8932″–Employee 1220 (when I called the number, there was no real person there, but an automated message: “Don’t wait to meet new and exciting people, call now!” Does this mean one of your employees works for some sort of pornographic hotline as well as Verizon? Well, there’s an interesting twist on customer service, but doesn’t it strike you as inappropriate that this was given out to a customer who only wants DSL service restored?)
-“There’s no record here of a dispatcher supposed to come to you today.”
-“There’s no ticket out for your problem.”
-“There was a ticket out but it was canceled.”
-“What happens is that the ticket is cleared if Verizon says they can fix it without coming to your home. So I guess your ticket was cleared.” “But the problem is still here!” “Uh, sorry.”
-“The dispatcher will be there before five!”
-“There’s no scheduled appointment for you.”

I ask, no, make that I beg to know: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR COMPANY!?

I have taken my second day off from teaching summer school (losing money that I literally don’t have to spend) waiting for people who will never provide me with service, talking to liars, miscreants and buffoons, wondering whether I will be able to teach my students tomorrow at all or if I will need to take more days off simply dreaming of imaginary magical “dispatchers”, the mythical sugar plum fairies of Verizon. Hey, you know what? Maybe I’ll go eat some rainbow gumdrops too and then ride my magical unicorn off to a wonderful wireless world filled with four-leaf clovers and centaurs!

Verizon, the sad fact is I’d be better off if Harry Potter came to fix my DSL. At least Harry–a fictional character–doesn’t disappoint people.

The best part of it all? In a moment of true weakness, I asked one of your service representatives if they could at least look up Time Warner’s number for me so I could switch my service, which I couldn’t do because my DSL works about as well as our non-existent plan to get out of Iraq. What was the customer representative’s response?

“We don’t have Internet.”

At least this is fair, then. Pretty hilarious for an Internet company, right?

Pathetic is more like it.

I’d like to point out that now it is 4:59. No one is here. No one will be here. After three hours on the phone with your “Complaints” office and “Executive Office”, I have been told by everyone that “no one is coming today” and they are “sorry”. “Someone will come tomorrow.”

I’ve heard this one before.

So, Verizon, this is me congratulating you. Why, you ask? Because your tagline, “We never stop working for you” is astoundingly accurate. The fact is you never actually started, so it would be hard to stop, now wouldn’t it?

I apologize if this letter has taken away any of your precious work time. I realize that some people are allowed to go to their jobs to earn money so that they can afford to live, while others simply have the misfortune of waiting at home for narwhals, unicorns, and imaginary service-people to fix their telephone lines.

I too have been subjected to Verizon’s new Adult Entertainment Hotline. Recently I was involved in a two-year confusing battle with Verizon over what I thought was an erroneous bill caught in the middle of a cell phone transfer. Towards the end of the giant mess, a Verizon employee gave me a customer service phone number to call so that I could hopefully solve the whole thing. I verified this number (i.e. read it back to the employee), and then proceeded to place the new call, only to find myself now listening to various sexual favors I could “receive” by pushing different buttons. Not really what I wanted to be listening to at 7:30 in the morning. I redialed the number to make sure I hadn’t pushed a wrong button somewhere, then had my husband dial as well. I then immediately called back the original Verizon number, gave them hell, and received nothing in turn for their deeply disgusting action except for a lame and ridiculous excuse: “sometimes adult hotlines register numbers that are similar to ours.” Right, and sometimes Verizon really enjoys to screw their customers.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the kind of complaint letter greatness that can only come a sardonic sense of humor two days off of work waiting for the Verizon tech to show. Being a teacher myself, I can imagine the frustration of being away from your classroom for two days and having nothing to show for it.

This reads more like a personal blog post rather than a formal complaint letter. The chain of events just gets lost in the sea of jokey asides.

I do feel for the OP, though. I’ve been down the same road with Sears whenever I’ve had them come to service my washer/dryer. There’s nothing worse than taking a whole day off and having them not show up.

I do think that it’s more effective to be direct and concise in a letter like this. State exactly what happened and tell them exactly what you want them to do to make it right. Save the jokes for your friends and family.

It’s sasquatch. He’s still pissed that those 2 Jacklinks guys were messin’ with him…

@Yourhero88: No kidding. What is it with The Consumerist lately and posting this kinda stuff? I get that the companies (Verison, Comcast, etc) have done “something wrong”, but the way these consumers go about things are very much “bad consumer” taggable.

man i am absolutely sick of verizon… i have not had too much trouble with them, but just from reading the consumerist. it disgusts me how utterly stupid people are. this has to be one of the best complaint letters ever written.

Brilliant. Probably too snarky to elicit a response, but fantastically brilliant none the less! A literate, wry, and hilariously-composed letter. If only all people with complaints would spend half as much effort into their letters, we’d all have tons of wonderful stuff to read!

Every single person I know that has had a DSL line has had horrible problems with the technology itself and worse problems with the providers trying to get it fixed. Sometimes the internet and the phone service go out together. What fun!

I have had high speed intenet through 4 different cable companies in two different countries and have NEVER HAD A SINGLE PROBLEM. I have not once had to call customer service about cable internet.

In addition to being about 1000 times less reliable than cable, dsl is also less than half as fast.

The next time one of your friends tells you they are thinking about getting dsl, warn them strongly against it. They will probably get it anyway. Six months later(if they are lucky) when they are tearing their hair out they will remember what you said and forever after consider you a genius.

OMG, that was really quite satisfying to read, even if she didn’t have service by the end of it all. Still, leave it to a school teacher to write like that. It’s everything and more I’ve ever wished to say to ATT and Comcast. Kudos Ariel!

I signed up for Verizon’s easy pay plan today. I knew exactly what I wanted when I went in and gave the woman all of my info. However, she was a trainee, so it took 45 minutes to get everything set up. I paid $160 in cash for my new phone and first month of payment. Then, after she put everything in the computer, she said “oh, I need $3.18 more for the convenience fee.” Yes, Verizon actually charges a convenience fee for paying in person, even if you are setting up a brand new plan. I waited for 45 minutes in a hot store on a 90-degree day – it certainly wasn’t convenient for me!

And before I get flamed for buying Verizon OR getting an easy pay plan, 1) all of my friends have Verizon, so I can get a plan with fewer peak minutes and pay less money since IN calling is free and 2) I may be moving soon and I don’t want a contract because last time I moved, I got no cell service in my new neighborhood and had to cancel and pay an early termination fee.

This letter will get her nowhere. If it had come to my escalation box, it would have gotten a form response, if not deleted. As Consumerist readers, don’t we know how to get names and log our interactions? Or try escalating? Also, what was the original issue? I am sure if it was an actual Verizon proble, she would not have been billed.

The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I also have Verizon DSL and phone service. Never had a problem until this happened. I was online when suddenly, the connection was kaput. At first, I thought there was something wrong with my computer but after some troubleshooting, realized the wireless adapter light was blinking. I picked up the phone and was greeted with complete silence. I had to call Verizon with my cell and they told me a number of things, one of which was that it would cost $91 to fix the problem because I am not enrolled in some maintence plan. I complained that it was not MY fault their service suddenly stopped working and they said they would send someone to take a look at the box outside the next day. The next morning the service came back without warning and no one had to come. Guess it wasn’t my problem afterall.

And I’m surprised this woman didn’t put her “Ivy League education and masters degree” to better use in resolving this problem.

She deserves to be an underpaid teacher.
1. She submits this to Consumerist but does not take the time to check their guides on writing letters to executive management.
2. She didn’t fact check her letter. YEDI? YETI! Her poor students.

“when I called the number, there was no real person there, but an automated message: “Don’t wait to meet new and exciting people, call now!”

I get this message all the time when I misdial insurance companies. Nationwide auto insurance prefix is 866 and for some unknown reason I dial 800 and get that annoying message. I hung up the first time then I waited to see what would happen and it just automatically disconnects after the message. I did again today with a different insuranace company. I dialed 800.334, but it was 800.344. I am not sure if this dating service registers a whole bunch of numbers in hopes to grow business but it is very annoying.

Filled with hyperbole as the letter may be, Verizon’s NY service has more than its share of problems (as I can personally attest to), and I think making them public in a forum like the consumerist is a step in the right direction. Companies like Verizon will never change as long as its customers remain isolated with their complaints.

Verizon should not be charging a customer to fix a problem on the provider end. I would demand a credit as soon as the bill comes.

Second, escalate. If you are not satisfied, demand to speak to the supervisor. If the supervisor doesn’t get someone out to you, escalate to their supervisor.

But also, please keep in mind that large telecommunications companies have hundreds of tickets to deal with each day, and sometimes you don’t make it onto someone’s route. Or someone has your ticket, but got stuck at another one before you and ran out of time. It’s a pain in the ass, but that’s how it works. :(

What a waste of my time. We get it, you are an intelligent person. But, that doesn’t mean you have “Street Smarts”. Have you not read any of the tips and experiences posted on Consumerist. Get to the point early on, be clear and precise, and lastly hasn’t your mother ever told you that “you can get more flies with honey than you can with vinegar?”

i had a very serious issue with verizon about my FiOS service. It kept stopping all of a sudden. I went through 10 routers and 3 ONTs. Went through the mindless tech support at the Fiber Solutions Center and all. I also had many issues with the verizon techs not showing. I got so fed up with it all after dealing with it for months that I finally called corporate offices. The receptionist easily gave me a number which is actually very reliable. 1-800-483-7988 and choose option 3. Someone answered the phone instantly. The number goes to the President’s office at Verizon. They got a tech out to me that day and promised a follow up call. I got a call about 30 minutes after the team of 4 techs the lady sent out left my home. This was the first time i had ever gotten a call back out of the 30 i had been promised before. I even got 8 more after that one over the course of 5 days. I no longer have any issues with my service and was given one year free on all of my services! If you are having issues with these fools, call that number and get it all sorted out.

Just curious..what time was the number dialed when you got the “adult” recording? I ask because back when I worked at a bookstore, one of the publishers we’d order from shared a number with a line like that. From 9am-9pm it was a book publisher. All other times it sure wasn’t. I’d called at 7am to make an order and was very surprised by what I heard. At first, I thought I’d misdialed because I knew I’d called this company before. Dialed again, checking very closely this time…same result. Tried a few hours later, got the right company.

And to be fair, some of what the rep(s) told you was true. If the ticket was canceled, then there wouldn’t be a record of a dispatcher to be going to your house, nor would there be a ticket for that problem listed.

One part of your letter really confused me though, and I admit I may be totally misuderstanding what you are going for here–where you say you agreed to pay to have a problem fixed that was caused by the company….then say it’s because you don’t believe in negotiating with terrorists. So–if I’m right and you are comparing the company with terrorists–you are saying you *do* believe in just agreeing to the demands?

Or maybe the sarcasm was laid on too thick for me and it went over my head. Entirely possible.

One other thing. I just showed this to my husband and he reminded me of something I’d forgotten. A couple years ago, the both of us worked at a retail outfit which dealt with Verizon Wireless. We had our own special customer service number to call as dealers, but occasionally we’d need to get a call-back number for a customer. More than once, the customer was directed to a sex line. Now I’ve never known Verizon to use the same number for wireless and DSL services, but we thought this was a bit too much of a coincidence. And the fact that this was at least two years ago, possibly three, tells me this same thing has probably happened to a whole lot of people.

You know, strangely enough, I just switched to Verizon Wireless and so far I’ve had nothing but exemplary service from the reps I’ve worked with. I’m guessing this is a completely separate customer service division…

This just reminded me of the time I tried to call my company’s 1-866 computer support line and dialed 1-800 without paying attention. From my desk, in the middle of the workday, I’d dialed a phone sex line. I just know it’s going to show up in the phone logs and I’ll have some explaining to do…

I have a love/hate relationship with Verizon. Their DSL product is superior to the local cable co’s unreliable & slow RoadRunner service, but their customer support & billing department suck big-time. Worse, I’ve fired off letters (snail-mail) to Verizon’s PR department and never received a single response.

What gets me is how inefficient Verizon’s customer service departments are. Not only does it waste my time, but it also ties up their reps and wastes their resources as well. I just wish their own people would try to contact their own customer service department “as a customer” and see what it’s like. I’m sure if they would do this, they’d see the problems and hopefully do something about them.

Should you wish to take your anger out on the rep who gave you the phone sex number, feel free to call Verizon (or any company) back and before you tell them the situation (which would put them on the defensive immediately) ask them to confirm the name and employee ID number of the rep you spoke with previously (verify date/time stamp of call for accuracy).

THEN escalate and use that information. If you’re not getting anywhere, feel free to demand that the manager/retention rep conference in the rep who gave you that number (and confirmed it). That should be an interesting conversation…

@acambras: Oh geez….I’m not even sure. I just remember doing something else while waiting for the ringing/automated introduction before going…”wait a tick! That voice, um, doesn’t sound, um, familiar…OH CRAP!” Knowing me, it probably WAS on speakerphone.

I’ve had nightmare problems with Verizon. I’ve sent executive mail, worked with reps, escalated, etc.

None of this works.

What does work in New York is to file a complaint with the Public Service Commission at [www.dps.state.ny.us]

On 2 separate occasions Verizon has changed their tune from stating that something is truly impossible, to having it installed and working the next day. I’ve gotten great service from Verizon – but only after filing complaints. Before you file a complaint, they really don’t care about you.

I used to work for one of Verizon’s call centers. Not one, no, not one of Verizon’s telephone support centers are owned by Verizon themselves. One call center is in Canada, two in Ohio, and a couple others in the Midwest.

To be hired, applicants must take a computer knowledge exam with such fantastic questions as “What does DOS stand for?”. Then, there is a mandatory 2 week training class where you learn basic TCP/IP, the company’s software, and service practices.

So, most CSR’s don’t know much, if anything. The company encouraged low call tims, with prize incentives. Your points are measured on an internal website. The “winners” every week were employees who beat the system by hanging up on the elderly, transferring nowhere, but keeping just enough calls to beat the percentage.

I’m pretty knowledgable and was able to solve most problems, but there were rare instances of unsolvable problems. In which case, we send out a “ticket” for a line tech or sent the call up the chain. . There was a troubleshooting process we followed and that was the extent of our knowledge.

Most of the other employees took terrible, terrible notes, so when you search a customer’s info you know nothing about what happened before.

I will say in defense of technology call center workers everywhere – most customers are idiots and do not follow what you tell them, or do it wrong because they think they know the right way.

My advice – get cable internet. TCP/IP bullshit is just that – bullshit. An outdated protocol for an outdated cable type.

I admit it, I cried too yesterday when dealing with Verizon on the phone. I was so angry and frustrated I just lost it. The lady was nice enough to connect me to the person I needed to talk to, but that person did nothing for me. So I wrote all the Verizon executives at their email addresses posted here at Consumerist, and I’ve already had several emails promising me the problem will be resolved today. We shall see…