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his young woman called Holly Butcher posted her advice to the world, 24 hours before she died of cancer.
This was her message...
“It’s a strange thing to realise and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.
That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.
I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.
I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.
I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!
1) Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.
2) Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.
3) You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.
Let all that **** go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.
4) I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.
I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.
5) Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling **** about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.
6) Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is **** but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.
7) Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.
😎 Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.
9) It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.
Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.
10) Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are **** at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.
11) This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.
12) Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material ****.
13) Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.
14) Get amongst nature.
15) Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.
Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females
🤔.
16) Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colours the sun makes as it rises.
17) Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.
18) Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.
19) Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?
20) Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.
21) Work to live, don’t live to work.
Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.
22) Eat the cake. Zero guilt.
23) Say no to things you really don’t want to do.
24) Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.
25) Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.
26) Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.
Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!
Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.
Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year - a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.
..’Til we meet again.
Hol
Xoxo”

Hey Guys - Wanted to post a picture of me at a lower weight when I started dating 6 months ago. I was still a little high for my maintenance but not where I am today. So as I embark on Jenny now - with the goal to get back down to my lower goal I wanted to see what I am shooting for. Net-net I am proud of how I look today - and of the weight loss. Sure I want to get back down to have wiggle room and fit into my smaller clothes. But seeing this picture - and I know I am not a size 24W and at Lane Bryant (Bless their hearts - they really have a fantastic store for me back in the day so I am grateful they are in business). But I am grateful I only have 10-15 lbs to lose now and sooo happy I know how and know we can do this Thank you all for your support! This forum is a ton helpful for me. So I do apologize for a keeping it real and personal and being long-winded. But hey we used to spend a lot of time eating... now we can read and write.
Here's the picture of me yesterday (In shorts) at my JCC Center). This is my before shot for this go-around at about 155 .... and the picture of me in Black is at about 145-147 back from the date where Greg and I got to know each other in San Antonio and Austin.
Let's do this. I am looking forward to a fantastic after shot in a couple of months or even before I start my job in 2 weeks - maybe a progress shot?
OK so here's the updated progress week 2.. seems crazy that so much stuff fits better - it's officially on jenny scale 3.6lbs but I feel better,. No dating or happy hours. No alcohol, no job right now (i start Monday) and only 1 party where I had club soda and not too much food. Anyway, this morning scale said 150.5 which is what it said the ay I weighed in at Jenny - so same as Wednesday, I guess now it will move slow maybe. But also I'm using new muscles in my gold lessons and practice.. so I feel better, Check out my Before and After if you want inspiration was I am sure my small weight loss is not that inspiring. But the real deal was when I went from 207 to 137 starting in August of 2016.. Now I have luxury problems - but for a lifelong compulsive overeater it's super important to get back to having a better relationship with food and not gaining,!
Here's the July 2018 shot where I am trying to get back to... or even before that when my weight was at the low end of my goal... for wiggle room

Hey Guys - Just thought I would write a quick post. I am having a blast dating this man I met. He lives in Maryland and buying a home in Texas... So sort of a traveler. He is 62 (I'm 55) and he is retired and we met here in Florida - and he asked me for Date #1 (weekend in Austin and San Antonio... and Date 2 Thursday - Monday in Playa Del Carmen. SO grateful to have the weight off for these summer trips - bathing suits and the like. I just go do stuff and love to look good - and when I don't (extra skin crepy skin, wrinkles) I don't obsess. Easy to do when you are thinner - hard to be ok with that and extra weigh running around in a suit. For me anyway.
So, we flew down together form Ft Lauderdale and then had a ride to the hotel - checked in and hit the beach... The resort was very nice - we had a gorgeous master bedroom, guest room (me) 2 bathrooms, kitchen, liv room, jacuzzi... and for the last 2 days we had a spectacular view of the ocean. Next day I awake at like 4:30 and get dressed for snorkeling. We were going to meet a private guide at 7:10 and I did not realize what time it was. So there I was already at like 5:15 am. whoops. I woke Greg up and said c'mon. He thought I was adorable.... Anyhoo.. eventually we went to meet Eddie. Well, somehow we screwed that up - and did not book Eddie. So we schedule him for Sunday and decided on Plan B. We went running like 5 miles.. explored a nearby local beach and then went back to the pool. Had amazing Shrimp ceviche and fattening banana chips with Green tomatillo sauce (and drinks - ill spare you the details).
That night we went to 5th Ave - lots of local shops, fun music, performers. We had a drink at a great spot and then dinner at an Italian place. Then music at the bar. What an amazing day.
Next day, we went on a Catamaran trip with snorkeling, drinking, lunch etc. Phenomenal. Then the pool for the rest of the day (back to shrimp ceviche.. Yum!!).
That night we went to a restaurant that was amazing!!!! At least atmosphere was unbelievably special and the food was good... not as good as say the to NY Chefs..but good.. and pretty.

OK So I thought I would take the inspiration from the blog post of @Staci Greene. You guys must go read her post. Her success on Jenny is truly inspiring and her pants are falling of... You Go Girl! And she planned an awesome day yesterday. So thought I would plan my day in a similar vein.
OK so here's the great news. My pants fit. Yup - I am rocking the size 4 Lululemon workout pants! So happy they fit. working from home today - so no great outfit, but will change into golf shorts as I think this afternoon's after work plan will be to go practice golf. With a light workload, I have been walking a ton after work At some point I should probably rest? so I'll go golf a bit.. that's restful So my sized 6 SwingbySwing golf shorts will fit as well. YAY! My Pants Fit!
OK, today went to OrangeTheory had a great workout. Endurance day - so longer push blocks on the tread followed by Active recovery - Base pace jog) then pushes and a couple of all outs. Total of 30 minutes on Treadmill and then 30 minutes on Water rower and weight bench. Single leg static lunges, rows, lunges, and some work for backs and chests and biceps. All good. 60 min total about 500+ calories. And a bunch of splat points (for your OrangeTehry enthusiasts).
Then Kodiak Pancake breakfast 1.25 servings (6 small pancakes I adore)
Next change AC filter
Get template made for Bathroom cabinet (Install in process and amazing!!)
Then look for new work project and study for work...
Lunch - Flatout, tuna, parmesan, veggies and salad
Work, Golf, Home Depot maybe to buy dinners... or lighting company to buy trim for recessed lights
Dinner
Netflix - 90210 Season 3.. I am addicted.
Be the happy person you want to be. Watched this today - Awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgc3D2RFTSo
OK time to go be Happy.
You Got This guys!!! Being thin - not overeating, stocking to the plan is so worth it. My Pants Fit. Staci's Pants are falling off! Your pants will be falling off too. This is our day, our year, our decade. Let's not go start a diet again and spend a moment unhappy because of our weight.
Does anyone read these things? Leave a comment - let me know what your happy is? How your plan is going? Or more importantly, how I can help you I know y'all help me every day! Thank you,
Miss Bumble

I'm really tempted to whine today.
So, couple things about me:
1) I have chronic pain; I've had it in my hip for 12+ years (I'm in my 30's, it started right out of college) and it also periodically migrates to my back, or causes other peripheral pains throughout my back and neck
2) I'm a woman working in a male-dominated industry and I get frustrated easily by the Old Boys Club. I'm working on letting it slide off my back, but there are times where I just have to put my foot down, and I'm just not a confrontational person, so it's difficult for me to deal with those times.
Today, my chronic pain is higher than usual. I also had to deal with a very condescending older man who wanted to argue over legal terminology with me (I'm an attorney, he is not). My schedule is pretty full, and I'm tired and bordering on anxious and depressed. Plus, I'm angry at myself because I scraped someone's bumper while parking a couple weeks ago, and I am now paying the repair on that, which is an expense I just don't need, but I will never be the person who doesn't leave a note for doing something like that (Plus... I left a note, and the person is STILL requesting a cashier's check, so I have to pay the fee for it! Lady, if I didn't want to pay you, I wouldn't have left a note in the first place and just gotten away with it!).
To counteract this, I'm going to list off some positive things:
1) Tonight, I'm having a little bit of seafood for dinner (it'll be a little indulgent, but I'm not going to go crazy - I've learned I can actually handle moderation when I need to)
2) Soon, I will have my two puppy dogs by my side, wagging their tails and cheering me up with their kisses
3) I've made a little bit of money today, which is reassuring, as I'm a small business owner and sometimes get a little financially stressed
4) I gained some weight (1 pound) on vacation, but today I'm down to lower than I was before vacation
5) I managed to do my workout today, despite my back pain (it is pain that, if I keep active, won't stiffen up - it's better to be active than to rest, but sometimes I feel so defeated that I can barely move... today, I overcame that and even did some of my harder exercises on the TRX)
6) I managed to handle the condescending older man while still being classy and professional, but also firm and standing my ground.
7) I get to read a really nice book before I go to sleep tonight (Name of the Wind... almost done with it and ready to start on Book 2 of the series)
Time to power on through and finish the day strong!

Hey everyone - just a low key Saturday - Sure I walked 12 miles that was a tad strange but it was fun... (...LOL). And wanted to post a picture to say it's not just a normal day. Normal for me was gaining weight, being heavy and wishing I could go on a diet. So just checking in - and pretty sure people are sick of all my diatribes on the forum posts. I figure this is my section.. so I can be as vain or boring as I want here .No? Anyway - Off I go to JC today, Trying to not buy expensive entrees and transition more to MOMOs. (LOL I have been on maintenance for many months... and I still buy Jenny. I definitely need to go get weighed in, but I want to substitute the foods with homemade or lower cost items. When on Jenny and ever since August 2016 all I did was buy the Jenny food d, but lately am more price conscious, so why not save some money? I am reluctant - because if it ain't broke don't fix it.... But the budget beckons... and so today we shall see how I do. Maybe buy nothing? OMG. WOW.. I know I have food in the freezer... But feels like such a leap of faith. Think about the money I would spend and use it in the grocery store when I need it. .. Worst case - Jenny is 6 minutes away. OK be strong. That is my plan. Except maybe shakes.... I like that stuff now in my coffee.
OK point of Blog was to post a picture -- Toronto asked me to send one, so I snuck off Thursday eve's data to have the hostess take a photo.... Anyway... Here's why this is not just an ordinary day. I am thin!!! Does is it get old? Heck no! OK off to JC.... See how we did this week.

So it occurred to me that one of my goals for the New year's challenge is to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water a day. I recently listened to a podcast on losing weight and they were saying big huge goals dont really work for weight loss or to make significant changes. So do goals that support the longer term gola. So I guess my goal is to be healthier and reduce bloat and whatever else water does for you..... also 8 glasses a day today does not seem achievable... so thought I would blog my goal here and record my results.
OK my esteemed sister told me 1 bottle has 16 ounces of water... 4-5 bottles does seem doable
1) Goal: Drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water per day by end of 2018
Mini Goal - Drink minimum of 3 bottles of water Week 1 1/2 - 1/7
Morning - when possible - Drink hot water and lemon with ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) to help internal organs do their thing
Drink only 1 glass of coffee at breakfast (can drink more other times of day (COnsider reducing) and drink 2 bottles (32 ounces) of water between breakfast and lunch
Drink 1-2 bottles of water between lunch and dinner (32 ounces)
Water during workout does not count
Day 1 Status: Tuesday: Drank 2 bottles before a late lunch and 1 after lunch total of 48 ounces (Plus 12 or so in my Morning drink that I don't count). See how I do tomorrow...or maybe I should include my hot water with lemon and ACV too? I think I will measure it and include it in my tally.
2/3 OK have to recommit and drink more water!!! Coffee gets in the way and my compulsiveness for a hit... something flavorful... Let's do this this week!

So I am prepping for surgery and want to be as healthy as possible. One of my struggles is eating too many veggies and gas. I figure this is a good time to try and cut back! So starting tomorrow for each lunch and dinner I will commit to one veggie portion. Not a salad and veggie, not nibbling before hand. No need to I can always eat between meals - have a yogurt, water, soda, tea, or a veggie. I feel like I eat so much at meals because I don;t want to feel deprived and think I will be hungry. I won't.
So I rushed over to the pc to declare this to my JC peeps.
B - Usual
S- Snack - Yogurt and fruit
L - JC meal and 8 - 10 ounces salad with dressing
S - Yogurt and maybe fruit
D - JCC meal with cooked veggie 8-10 ounces
Dessert - Artic Zero
Also if you read this far (thanks!) new email for JC peeps MIssBumble2018@gmail.com
Figured I would just use that for JC and it would be easy to see any emails. Figured I would be vulnerable being in pain after surgery and committing to eat less stuffing food. So might need some of your fabulous support. Ill also read the forum .. If I don't write back right away - attribute it to pain killers.
Anyway pre-op appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck
Sue

65 pounds down... time to continue this great trend and not eat over feelings.TY. Jenny Craig! Expensive - No! if you compare it to the cost of being heavy - clothes, health, lack of happiness, not fitting on airplane seats etc. I am worth it... and so are you,
OK Just wanting to set it down my plan for handling very high stress client... in hotel all week and working late hours. Goal: Maintain the path forward... lose 2 pounds or so - by keeping it clean.
1) JC French toast for breakfast (Barscotti today on travel day)
2) Lunch JC Loaded or Healthy Steamers - Linguini and Salad with Skinny Girl
3) Dinners- Buy Zoodles at whole foods, Artic Zero fro dessert... and pair with JC entree - lasagna or creamy penne
If out to dinner - have tea with stevia
Snacks - yogurt, fruit
Workout at Orange Theory Tues, Wed, Thur, Sat & Sun
Show up to forum and help others
Next weigh in - success!!! And on to maintenance with a bit more lee way
Key: Handle airport - with Tea, Diet Coke, Green beans for plane
Key: tough times- whatever comes my way - go for a walk. listen to book on tape, hit the gym, make a call. Do not eat something. Everything passes.. and being thin is miraculous and fabulous. Like winning the lottery!!! Size 4-6-8-10-12 Whaaat? This is amazing. Lets keep it
Also work on Quantity - Less veggies per meal.. stomach and digestion will be very helpful...

Well -today I got weighed in. Not that exciting. I lost weight - weight loss is going well. The program is going well. Who cares!!! Cause ...wait for it! Today I broke 90 on the golf course - I obliterated it and shot an 85!!!
I am a new golfer (about 3 years in), I play mostly just weekends....and today I shot a 43 and a 42.... Wahoo!!! I had one hole at an 8 and one at a 7. Net net I shot an 85!!! Spectacular.
No mulligan... Did I miscount one hole? Maybe.. its all possible - but not 5 strokes worth. I broke 90!
L'chaim, Amen and Hallelujah!!!
It's kind of cool that this is bigger than losing weight to me! Glad I am doing both!

Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah
Warning.. It's a blog - It rambles and weaves.... Thanks for reading... Sorry if I am boring... or redundant. But being thinner is a BIG DEAL!
Work up this morning - and my house is a mess and my cold still lingers. Going to start back at gym Tuesday - so decided to stay lazy. Anyhow not sure why but off I went to tackle the thing that I did not have to do - the upstairs closet. (Next up is cleaning house before Xmas party at sisters...) Anyway I decided to go through all of the clothes. Clothes are up there because they are too big or too small.
I now have another huge giveaway pile - and an amazing amount of small outfits. (Does that mean I am small? I mean the size large T shirts don't quite fit - but some of the size 12 shorts etc fit - and the size 16s are mostly all too large - and wait for it.. The size 8 Tahari suit jackets that are amazing looking (dear me... where are the pants? oh well) Are on! They don't close - there's a 5 inch gap - but that's the next 20 pounds. That's skinny Sue - Sue at my sister's wedding in the amazing long purple dress Sue.
But who is this Sue that i find now and fits into these clothes? Who bought those Michael Kors shorts that still has the tags. I barely remember her - But I will tell you. It was 6 years ago. I had just moved from Atlanta to Boca and road my bike Saturday and Sunday 25-40 miles on A1A with the big boys. Was likely eating too much and going in the wrong direction - as I was riding that much but not shrinking away.
I'd rather be this size and maintain or lose weight on Jenny Craig or maintenance so I am not dependent on riding centuries etc to be thin.
Anyway I have some amazing clothes - and great T-shirts that now that I see them I have missed being that size. Missed being this size. To get dressed and not worry that you look fat! Ahmazing!!!!
OK - Off to clean rest of house - so when I return form Xmas soiree I will feel the beauty of my home/.. and not the mess.
Enjoy the day - best of all - No one ever says - man I wish I had eaten more at the Xmas party. So eat less - you will be glad you did.
Sue

So happy today. Went for my weigh in today and I am back on track. Lost 2.2 pounds this week. I also was measured today and I have lost 10 inches total. Feel very motivated and happy, last week I had gained 2 pounds and this week I had felt discouraged even though I had really stuck to the plan. I gained the 2 pounds during my vacation, went on a cruise and food every where I turned hard to stay away from the bread. Anyway am pleased and pumped for success.

I have to put this in writing. This morning I rode 20 miles. This has been a goal of mine that I have working toward for some time. I rode the first 10 miles in my fastest time ever...4:55 minute miles. The second 10 I did a little slower but not much. The journey was also work...there were hills. It was a very challenging ride. I am so proud that I stuck with this and really put my all into something that was fitness related. I have not been losing weight with the program...just inches and I work on my fitness. I could let myself get down about the lack of progress with the weight loss but instead, I am going to keep on eating on plan and doing my best with my workouts and find other things to look at as a measure of my success...like miles rode!! At some point, I would really love to be a fitness coach. I have had years and years of experience with nutrition and am not learning all about my body. I would love to encourage other people to find their passion in fitness and to do their very best.

I was doing so well on Jenny when I remembered that once a month, I have a class that caters breakfast and lunch. I started to panic and then I pulled it back. "I can do this," I thought as I strolled by the chocolate donuts, blueberry muffins, croissants, bagels and orange juice. I had placed an anytime bar and a piece of fruit in my bag so while the other students ate the goodies from the caterer, I ate my Jenny food and I was cool with that and then there was lunch. I smelled the aroma of lunch before I saw it and I got a little nervous. As I walked up to the server, I smiled and said, “I am on Jenny Craig so you are going to have to shake about three quarters of that spoon back into the tray and give me a little bit." He smiled and did exactly as I had suggested. The other servers heard what I had told him so they were ready for me when I got to them. My lunch plate consisted of a cheese enchilada which I did not eat because I am not too fond of anything with just cheese in it...wait...I do love grilled cheese sandwiches so I take that back. Anyway, I did not eat the enchilada; I only took one or two small bites. Then there was the salmon in a sauce and it was about the size of a mushroom cap. I am not a big fish eater (because I have a phobia about choking on fish bones), but I loved the taste of this little fish thingee. Next, there was salad which I ate sparingly because of the sweet sauce on it. I had no issues with the rice so I introduced it to my stomach . Last, but not least...the peanut butter cookie. The last time I broke it in half, ate one half...and then the other half. This time, I didn't bow to the formality because I knew I was going to eat the whole cookie. I broke off small pieces until it was gone. All in all the process went well. I drank water and I was satisfied. As a matter of fact, I had to force myself to eat dinner and the snack later. I am proud of myself for being able to eat out without inviting disaster. I feel proud when I tell people that I am on jenny Craig. I feel so much better now that I am putting myself first. OK, I said I was going to wait to post this, but I can't stand the suspense. Last week’s weigh-in was …uh…not so cool for me after having lost only 2.3 lbs. In my blogs, I write that we should celebrate the little victories, but I have to admit that I was not very happy. "I can lose 2.3 lbs by taking off my tennis shoes," I thought to myself. Well, this week, I didn't walk for the three days it rained in Los Angeles, but today and yesterday I walked a longer distance. My neighbor who weighs a third of what I weigh tried to power walk me into a coma. At my last meeting, I was 311 lbs. I just stepped on the scale tonight because finding out at the weigh-in didn't work for me last week. I said I didn't have expectations, but I did...high ones. Anyway, I step on the scale and it says...wait for it...299!! OMG! I remembered that the tile floor in the bathroom takes a more accurate read so I took the scale there and it said 301 lbs. What? I gained 2 lbs walking from the kitchen to the bathroom? It doesn't matter because I can do the math and there will be no 2.3 lbs lost this week. My mind started to race. Should I skip dinner or walk or what? I didn’t want to gain any weight between now and tomorrow. Then I remembered that skipping meals is how I got to be over 300 lbs in the first place so I will eat everything before I go to bed. I will definitely post tomorrow and let you know how it went. Wish me luck! Oh that's right, I don't need luck, I'm on Jenny Craig!!

I am still feeling pretty good right now which is miraculous since I have been on Jenny Craig for almost three weeks (which means no fast food for the same amount of time) and I have only been really hungry twice. I did a complete turn-a-round in regards to my eating habits and I keep waiting for the "Big Boom" So far, no "boom." I see sabotage like an evil ninja because sometimes you don't see it coming and when you realize it is happening, it is too late. Well, I am here to tell you that you can be a "good ninja" and overcome the sabotage just like any other challenge in your life. Sometimes, the sabotage is subtle and maybe unintentional, but nevertheless, it doesn't contribute to your goal so it is not good for you. The quicker you can recognize sabotage, the easier it will be to avoid or counter it, even when the unintentional saboteur is you. Here is an example of a ninja that I defeated. I went to visit a friend of mine at her job and we were talking about Jenny Craig. I told her that I was doing pretty well and asked her how she was doing on her program. Just then I saw it...a chocolate-covered pomegranate cluster sitting innocently on her file cabinet...defenseless and all by itself, out in the open with no wrapper . I used to eat them by the cup. I said jokingly, "That is not what I think it is, is it?" She said, "Yes, it is" and told me I could have it. "You know I am on Jenny Craig, I don't want to eat that," I said confidently as I looked in the other direction. She laughed and said, "It's not going to kill you to have one." A ninja had just entered the room disguised as unintentional sabotage . I thanked her, but told her I did not want it (which I did). Then I asked myself if I had wanted it before I saw it and the answer was "No!" I realized it for what it was, an old habit trying to resurface...not today! After she finished her last few tasks, she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat and I told her that if it was not on the Jenny menu, I would not eat it. I was determined . She said sarcastically, "You can have salad right; let's go to Soup Plantation" so we went there to eat. Two things were wrong here and I recognized them as I drove. First of all, I should have declined the invitation and went home and studied and the second, I had promised myself that I was not going to eat out until I lost 50 lbs (that is just my own personal promise), I will know next time to pause for a moment and think before I say "yes." Lesson learned. While at the restaurant, I made good decisions. I created a salad of lettuce, beets, crushed eggs, non-fat Ranch dressing, a few cornels of corn and about five peas, shredded carrots and a tablespoon of sunflower seeds. I made sure everything was in moderation. THAT salad was the best salad that I have ever had in my life!! Usually, I make a salad and waste it as I race to grab two bowls of chili and three of those delicious corn muffins. Not this time. I ate slowly and I enjoyed every fork full of my salad masterpiece. What happened next floored me. My friend tried to convince me to get: a baked potato....I said, "No thanks"...one muffin...I said, "No thanks"...some jello...I said, "No thanks"...some vegetables (which I could have eaten, but, I said, "No thanks." I wanted to eat a salad "period!" Another ninja had entered the room and was sitting at our table, but this time I heard him creep up and I was ready. I stood my ground and the unintentional sabotage (I say that because a friend would not sabotage on purpose, right?) had no power. I don't know if I mentioned this, but my friend is on Jenny Craig, but she has not bought her food for the week so she is not eating it. I thought we were ready to go and I was standing by the door when I saw her loading her tray again. This time: clam chowder with crackers covering the top, ice cream and a cone and vegetables. I asked her with a smile, "Is that on Jenny Craig?" She told me that she was trying to be good because I was following the program. Really? My point is this: We have to be determined to stand up for what we are trying to do. Others may not understand or care, but we have to care at all times. If we want to loose the weight, we have to do what we are supposed to do. We have had a lifetime of "giving in" and that should be over or on its way out. I know people are not intentional saboteurs, but some are. We can protect ourselves from both. Keep your eyes on what you are doing and remember why you are doing it. Don't be hard on yourself, if you stumble a time or two, or are disappointed by something. Deal with the emotion "without food." I know, I know, this is hard to do sometimes, but if you do it once then you can do it twice and then you are doing it all the time. I would think you want to not only be beautiful, but healthy too, right? I know I do. Be the "good ninja" who protects you from anything that can harm you and that includes acts of sabotage, intentional or not intentional. I remember right before I started Jenny, Craig, I "felt" unhealthy and it scared me so I am determined not to go there again. Whatever your reason for improving your life, remember that and remind yourself of it especially when you forget. We can do this and we can do it well. All the other stuff is just life happening and we have to deal with life regardless of what we weigh. Jenny Craig is teaching me some extremely valuable lessons that I was missing before because I was too busy cramming food down my throat to dull...everything. Not anymore. I am going to take responsibility for my emotions and my life and you can too (if you haven't already). Like Jenny says, "Feel like new. Feel like you." I haven't felt that way for a long time, but I am feeling that way now and I gotta tell you, "I love it!"

I learned two valuable lessons this past week and I will share them with you because you may be able to relate. As I write this article, I can smell someone cooking in one of the neighboring apartments and it smells delicious, but since I am not hungry, it is just a smell. It's gone now, thank you timely breeze . Ok, here we go with the first lesson. My friend agreed to ride with me as I went to see a friend who lived about an hour away. I was glad to have the company; however on the way she asked if we could stop at Jack-in-the-Box because she wanted to get a vanilla shake and a chocolate cake (aka "chocolate overload"). I felt a little funny that she would ask me, knowing that I was on Jenny Craig, but we went and I survived, sitting next to her as she slurped and stirred the thick shake and then moved on to the chocolate cake. My friend does not have a weight issue and we used to go and get this combo together and equally enjoyed slurping and stirring. I had a lot of time to think as she ate and at first I was a little angry thinking, "She is really going to eat this chocolate cake in front of me, really?" It almost seemed as though she was taunting me. I never looked in her direction as I continued to drive. What I learned is that my change to Jenny Craig has not only affected me, it has also affected my late night, fast-food run buddy and my friends that I use to tag along with as I went from one fast food place to another. What are they to do now that I no long visit these grease pits? I also realized that only "my" eating has changed, not theirs. They can still have whatever they want and I either have to be absent when they eat the stuff that I have chosen not to eat or find another way to deal with the situation. So here is what I came up with. When I am driving, we are not going to places that tempt me...period! I am also not going to ride with friends who want to make late night fast food runs. That is how I will deal with it! My success is important to me and I have to stand up for myself. The next circumstance showed me something very important about my relationship with food. I was asleep and I received a call at 2:30 a.m. from someone I know who was stranded and needed me to come get them. They were hysterical. Against the advice of my best friend, I went. I did not see them at the designated spot so I came back home. What was important is what happened before and after the event. Before I went, I was feeling reluctant about having them stay in my apartment. I did not want to go, but I had said that if they needed help, they could call me. I could not go back on my word. There were other things that complicated the situation even further so I was really disturbed while trying to work it out. After I started back home, I felt myself wanting to eat as I passed all of the neon signs calling me to their drive-thru. It was at that moment that I realized that I was "not" hungry, but I needed to calm myself down. I fought the urge and came home and tossed and turned in my bed until I finally fell asleep. Not eating taught me that I didn't have to give into an old crutch. I had done what the CD (Touchstones for Success: How to Change Your Mind To Achieve Your Goals) said and let my emotions play out and then intervened as the non-biased negotiator. I was proud of that moment. Being on Jenny Craig is not only taking the weight off of me. It is teaching me about myself and I love that. I notice that I swipe my debit card less because I am not eating out and I notice that I can go into a store and leave without candy. I feel powerful in my new journey and I know it will last as I loose the weight and gain a greater perspective. I hope you are doing well on the program too and if you stumble a little, that's ok. You have time to correct your flow and still end up where you want to be. Thank you for reading and make it happen. You can do it!!

Went to JC on Thursday instead of Wednesday because the roads are so bad here!! Still pretty yucky today, but I was starving and had no food. I was nervous after my 'meh' 0.5 loss last week (I know..I know..a loss is a loss, but I have A LOT to lose). I lost 2.3 pounds today - yippeeee!! And am FINALLY in the 260's! That makes a total loss of 19.6 pounds Next week I get my measurements, so I'm hoping that I lost some good inches too these last 3 weeks. Not much more to say this week, other than that I'm well on my way to completing my November goal! 2.7 pounds to go! I just bought the parmesan crusted fish, haven't tried it yet, but hopefully it is yummy. I hope you all had a fantastic week (:

Well, I was a bit late on my fifth week blog post, but I was feeling a little discouraged this week. On my weekly Wednesday weigh in I was only down 0.5 pounds this week! Not feeling too great about that, but I guess it is better than a gain! I had a not so good eating day yesterday either. My friend ordered pizza (yikes not good), so I had a slice as I was starving and didn't have time to eat my dinner with the school work I had going on for the day (I know, still not a good excuse). Here is my biggest problem: I haven't told any of my friends that I am on jenny craig or trying to lose weight and my family/friends do not have very good eating habits that is for sure. Why do I not tell them you may ask? It is not exactly that I am embarrassed because really I should be proud that I am trying to do something with my weight and what not. I just feel like I don't want to make my weight loss a big deal to everyone..if that makes sense. I want to continue on with my day without people asking, "Oh we are going to eat ___, I hope you don't get tempted, I'm sorry" or have anyone feel bad about eating something that I can't have. I know it is weird of me, but I am just satisfied with saying no. I have been really good about not feeding into my friends temptations with all of the yummy food that they eat (I am trying to not look at it as yummy anymore because jenny craig food is delish), but I fell into my bad ways last night. I am going to be 100% strict from now on because I have this month to do really well because I am sure December is not going to be a great weight loss month (but I am going to try my best ). Anyway, that is my little rant for the day. I hope you all had a better weight loss than I did - and hopefully I have a better weight loss next week!!!! p.s my weight loss goal for november is 265! I am at 270.2 - almost made my October goal, but not quite - so I hopefully I make this goal all the way and more!!

Week 4 is over woo! Every week makes me jump with joy because of the fact that I am one step closer to my goal. I also learned an important lesson this week, as you can tell by my entry title. I was so stressed this week because I have had so many tests and huge projects that have been due, therefore my eating/exercise/sleeping patterns haven't been the best. I was pulling all nighters, constantly starving. Therefore my meals were not as spaced out as they should have been. (There was even one day when I had two snacks in one day, yikes not the best choice). Anyway, with all my stresses, I didn't make time for exercise and honestly I was starting to feel a bit under the weather (It's a winter wonderland right now here in Alberta, Canada! ), probably from the allnighters and bad habits of the week. I was so worried to weigh in thinking that I didn't lose weight or even gained as I fell into the death trap of weighing myself near the end middleish of the week. Well, I weighed in today and I lost 3.1 pounds yippeeeeee!!! I also got my measurements done and I have lost 7 inches since I've started! That was some really hardcore motivational news that I needed to hear. To think that I was almost going to reschedule my weigh in over something so silly!! This made me realize who cares if I had one semi-bad week? There is no reason to sit here and make myself worried over something I can't change, I just have to pick myself back up again. Next week I'm going to be better and work harder to be more on plan. With everything that went on this week I'm so happy to almost hit the 20 pound mark and at this rate next week I should make my goal for October - being in the 260 range!! I hope (and know!!) that everyone has/had a fantastic weigh in this week!! Don't give up! And my most important advice that I deffs should have listened to a long time ago is never weigh yourself during the week. From now on I am going to wait for my JCC to do it so I don't get so worked up over it. -Jess

I am a police/911 dispatcher. In a dispatch environment it is a feast or famine situation. You can and will spend long periods doing nothing. Then, all heck will break loose and you will be super busy as long as it takes to get the situation under control, which can be anywhere from 10 seconds (when we get to transfer to another agency...YAY!) to hours that span into the next shift (like the recent unstable explosives in our bomb safe we had to detonate...we use the explosives to train our K9's in case you were wondering). Well, today was NOT a famine day. Today was a day the world decided I needed to be a glutton. My victory? I stuck to plan through my first stressful day since I joined JC! And it wasn't even difficult! Let's hear it for the ease and convenience of the JC plan! Hip hip less hips! Hip hip less hips! Hip hip less hips!

Well, I just got home from Jenny Craig and I lost another 1.5 pounds! At first, I was a little disappointed because I had such a good loss last week and after all my hard work I couldn't help but say 'that's it!!!'. Then I remembered that I still lost weight and I am a little lighter this week than I was last week. Last weekend was thanksgiving, so I know my weigh in wasn't going to be the best that it could be, but I exercised pretty hard everyday this week. I'm hoping by next wednesday I will lose even more and be even closer to my goal. I'm surprised at how fast these two weeks have flied by! I got my food for the week and I must say those pumpkin spice cakes look DELICIOUS! How are all of you enjoying the new fall foods? The centre here in Calgary haven't received the new mains, only the barscotti and cakes. I'm going for my walk now and I hope all of you had/have a fabulous weigh in!! (: -Jess p.s I forgot to mention that in two weeks I have now lost 10.5 pounds! Wooo.