Guess who joined Weight Watchers?! Meeee! And the cool thing is, I’ll be blogging about my experience the entire time. I actually started last week but that was more of a dry run. It was hard, y’all. I’ve been on many weight loss challenges before and this is proving to be the most difficult because I am a breastfeeding mother. I express on average 60-70 oz of breast milk (through a breast pump) a day and aside from it being draining, it makes me incredibly ravenous. Breastfeeding burns a ton of calories and in return, moms HAVE to steadily nourish themselves. Weight Watchers is the only weight loss program that I’ve ever heard of that actually has a track for nursing moms.

I actually gained a pound from last week. Opps! I’m not worried. There will be up’s and down’s and I’m ready for ’em. I will even unveil my current size and where I’m looking to go.

So I’m 213 lbs. This is NOT baby weight as I was actually 216 before I gave birth to Elle. I only gained 9 lbs during my pregnancy and quickly lost it all. I am not embarrassed at being 5’6 and 213. Is it an ideal weight? No. But is it fixable? Absolutely. I am human and of course I have insecurities but I have always felt that I looked like I weigh less than I do. I toggle between a size 12/14 but I just happen to have a solid build. I will never be a small girl because I’m an amazon woman. I’ve got big thighs and legs and so when it comes to loosing weight, I like to set realistic goals for myself. I recently had a physical at my midwife’s office and my BP and cholestrol numbers are in healthy ranges, so really it’s just my weight that’s an issue. I have no intentions of being a size 2 and I don’t think my body would let me be a size 2 anyway. But weighing less would put me in healthier ranges and in a happier disposition so I’m all for it!

This will be the biggest weight loss challenge yet. Trying to find the time to workout, battling the cravings and trying to stay satiated through breastfeeding will be tough but I can do it! I will also be giving you the ins and outs of the very cool Weight Watchers online program. Stay tuned for next week’s update!

Got any healthy snack or workout tips for me? Moms who have breastfed and tried to loose weight, I would love some advice from you!

*I have received a free 3-month pass to experience Weight Watchers online. I am not being paid to use or endorse Weight Watchers and thoughts are my own. People following the Weight Watchers plan can expect to lose 1-2 pounds per week.

I miss college sometimes, y’all. I really do. I graduated from the University of South Florida in 2007 and while I spent most of my college career stressing over money or grades (pshhhtt, or both), I had a lot of fun too. And I’m not talkin’ drunken kind of fun. Girl no. When I wasn’t in class, working, hanging out with friends or trying to catch some Z’s, I was involved in some volunteer organization on campus. From the moment I stepped on campus until the day I graduated, I made it my duty to “help” in some way. I focused on different organizations each year but one of the most influential events that shaped me into the person I am today was that time I went to Philadelphia to volunteer at a school.

Alternative Spring Break is what they called it. Instead of jetting to Cancun, Mexico or taking up a weeklong stay on their sofas, college students involved in Alternative Spring Break jetted to another city and volunteered their vacations away. I joined a group of 15 fellow students and we bused our way from Tampa, Florida to Philadelphia. We bunked on the floors of a church in an area of North Philly called the Badlands. Each day we worked on various projects. From street clean-up to volunteering at the neighborhood school, we not only got to help out a community in need but we had a great time doing it.

Coca-Cola is launching a Pay It Forward campaign that’s all about giving back and experiences like mine in Philly have totally convinced me to continue to pay it forward. Since that trip I’ve been volunteering as much as a I can through various organizations.

Because a great mentor can make all the difference, Coca-Cola has teamed up with Magic Johnson, Common and Debra Lee of BET Networks to give four young people the apprenticeship experience of a lifetime. Visit MCR.com/PayItForward to nominate an aspiring youth and help pay it forward to the next generation. You’ll also be automatically entered for a chance to win $5,000 for
each nomination you make (up to five nominations per person).

Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Coca-Cola via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Coca-Cola.

[NOTE: I omitted a lot of the squeamish parts of labor and delivery but if you have any particular questions, I am so okay with answering them in the comments. Like, did I really encapsulate my placenta? Sure did!]

I feared a lot throughout my pregnancy. It was ridiculous, really. I am naturally a very anxious person and pregnancy only heightened that for me. My decision to go with a midwife instead of an OB/GYN didn’t help the situation either. The midwifery philosophy means trusting the woman’s body to do what it needs to do to nurture baby in-utero without much intervention. While some women may get ultrasounds at every prenatal appointment, I had one at 20 weeks. I was in the dark throughout most of my pregnancy. Instead of trusting my body, I questioned if everything was okay. If she didn’t move, I’d freak out. If she moved too much, I’d freak out. I was in panic mode 24/7. The crazy thing is, the only time I really trusted my body was when I was going through labor.

My water broke when I was polishing my nails. But of course, right? I flew out of the beauty room to Esposo. My pants were to my ankles and I was running back and forth like some maniac. We decided to call the midwife and they recommended that I come in ASAP so they could test me to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. I just knew I was wasting my time. Because obviouslyyyyy, my water didn’t break. I just peed on myself. That’s it.

But we hopped in the car and drove the midwife and within 20 minutes I had my legs spread all open for the world to see.

“You’re having a baby today.” said the midwife.

I tossed myself in Denial River again.

“Wait, wha?…no. No. Like..not today. How do you know? Is this real life?”

We were told to go back home so that I could labor there and to come back in 4 hours. I tested positive for Group B Strep and had to have an antibiotic. Which also ruled me out of that glorified water birth that I wanted. Womp. We got home and I threw myself in the nook of the sofa and then labored on my labor ball. Esposo kept glancing at me and was steadily asking me if I needed anything. He was so calm. So so calm. I was fine. I couldn’t understand why people said labor was sooo hard. If these were contractions (mind you, that hadn’t started yet), I was doing amaziiiing.

10 minutes later I was on the floor on all fours moaning and groaning. I’d go from the floor to rolling on my yoga ball. The contractions were in, ladies and gentlemen. And those mofos hurt. The only respite I got was the few minutes between contractions. Those minutes were glorious. I timed my contractions. 3-4 minutes apart. I got so uncomfortable that I crawled up to the bed. The contractions got worse. And worse. And worse. I hummed throughout them. I focused on my breathing. I got that from reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. That book spoke to my hippie soul. It is chock full of birth stories where the women were having babies in cabins and in the woods and all of that craziness. That’s so me. I’d have a baby in a cabin. Yep.

Esposo began packing up the car. He told me I should try to eat something before we left. Good idea. Each step I took killed me. I winced in pain. I continued to hum. Being upright was the worst. I somehow made it to the car and we took the 15 minute trek to the birthing center. Each bump made me want to hurl. I kept timing my contractions. 2 minutes apart and there weren’t many breaks in between.

We made it to the birthing center and they got us settled in the room. The midwife checked me and I was already 5 centimeters dilated. This baby was coming. And I was dying. My Mom was nowhere to be found because earlier that day she told me that she had gotten dreadfully ill and that I simply couldn’t have the baby today. How could my Mom not be there through this? My doula was on her way but I just knew she wouldn’t make it either.

In my head I was cursing up a storm. Out of my mouth, all I could do was hum and say, “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouuuuuuch.” Over and over again. The sweet nurse brought me ice cold water.

“I’m going to throw up.” I told her.

She brought me a pan and I threw up. I knew I was probably going through transition and that shortly after barfing, the pain would only intensify. I tried to stay calm. I asked Esposo to rub my back.

“Get off of me.” I tell him seconds later.

I was loosing it. The pain was out of control. Now that I look back at it, the contractions were painful but manageable. I suffered from painful menstrual cramps my entire life and so my pain tolerance is pretty up there. The real pain came from the perineal massage that my midwife gave me during those contractions. I wanted to kick her in her chin each time she told me to relax as she tried to massage the nether regions. I knew that she was only doing this to help prevent me from tearing but I was an animal at that point. I just wanted that baby out and I didn’t want anyone touching me.

If you’re not familiar with childbirth, when a baby is ready to come out, you push as if you have to take a poop. It’s the weirdest feeling because not only are you dealing with the pressure from baby bearing down, but you’ve also got those contractions kicking. It’s hard to focus and stay calm but I pushed and pushed and pushed and Baby Elle was born into the world at 5: 27pm. I was in active labor for 5 hours and I pushed for 17 minutes. My labor went so quickly that I didn’t even have a chance to rip my shirt and bra off.

My labor and delivery is considered speedy for a first time mom and quite frankly, after everything was said and done, I felt like I deserved an effing award. Soooo many people told me I was crazy for having a baby in a birthing center without the option of an epidural and pain meds. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have changed anything. Because Elle was considered small at 5 lbs, the birthing center recommended that we go to the hospital (uggghhhh) to have her fully examined. We were hesitant to do this because her Apgar scores were already high at a 9 and 10 and we just knew the hospital would give us a bunch of run around. And we were right. We spent hoursssss at the hospital. Just for them to tell us what we already knew. Our baby was healthy. Just small with a touch of jaundice. This detour to the hospital prevented Elle and I from really practicing her latch when it came to breastfeeding. It also resulted in two overwhelmed and fatigued first time parents who wanted nothing more than to just take their baby home.

So yes, while my labor and delivery was “perfect”, the events that followed were not. But it doesn’t matter. Baby Elle is here and she’s happy and healthy.

I always considered myself to be a strong woman, both physically and mentally. Giving birth to my daughter gave me a new badge of honor. I left that birthing center so so soooo proud of myself. Yes, I was terrified that my baby decided to come 3 weeks early and I was soooo sad that family members and friends couldn’t make it but the pride I had in myself trumped the sadness and fear that enveloped me during labor.

And not to sound like some superwoman, but pregnancy, labor and delivery are all easy compared to the struggle that came with breastfeeding and dealing with those postpartum hormones. THAT’S the part that people don’t tell you about. Stay tuned for more posts on life with baby. I know Clumps is a beauty blog but I think it’s important to normalize conversations like breastfeeding and the not so bubbly parts about being a first time mom. And if you could care less about that kind of stuff and would rather read about cosmetics, then hey, it’s all good too. I promise not to overload the blog with baby stuff. Maybe once a week or so. 😉

…I mean, woooooow. I am just as shocked as you are. Elle came 3 weeks early and surprised us all.

By the way, it’s pronounced “El”. Not “El-ly”. Ellie is cute but you wouldn’t believe how many people have pronounced it that way. Which kinda sorta boggles my mind.

I’m so in love with her. Everything she does amazes me. I’m pretty impressed with myself too. And Esposo. I’ll share her birth story in the coming weeks but there really isn’t much to say. Water broke. Active labor for 5 hours. Pushed for 17 minutes. Birthed a babe on January 7th…5 days after my birthday and in a comfortable birthing center.

Baby girl was born only weighing 5 lbs so we’re working hard to get her to gain weight. She has to go to the pediatrician every other day or so. I’ve got a dream team of a midwife, doula, pediatrician and lactation consultant. And honestly, having the baby was the easy part. Breastfeeding is a whole ‘nother beast that is challenging but I am so dedicated to get down.

I am beyond sleep deprived but whatever. Baby Clumps is here and she’s healthy and some kind of awesome. She’s so tiny but so strong. She motivates me. Life is even more amazing.

If IMATS LA wasn’t a good week before my due date with Bean, I would have so made plans to go. The International Makeup-Artist Trade Show is THEE show of all beauty shows and the brand BFTE Cosmetics will be in the building. I’ve hung out with Crystal of BFTE and aside from being one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met, she puts her name behind an amazing brand of products. If you’re going to attend IMATS LA, be sure to stroll by the BFTE booth. My girl Phyrra will be there too.

Season’s Greetings and a very Merry Christmas to my Clumps of Mascara family.

I was a bit down most of this holiday season (preggo hormones, I tell ya) but with Mama Clumps coming over and putting up that darling 2-foot Christmas tree, Esposo whipping up his world famous macaroni and cheese and recognizing that in a month’s time we will have started a new year, I would have turned a new age and I will be thisclose to bringing my first child in the world, well…do I really have anything to be down about? Nope. I am swimming in a pool of blessings.

And I hope you realize that too. We live in a world of wants but I think sheer happiness lives in YOUR world of haves.

Seriously B? You’re doing a post on a room air freshener on your beauty blog?

Yes, I am! And you better not be judging me for it either. 😎 Okay, fine…judge me but if I could somehow emit this scent as you read these words, you’d understand WHY I’m writing about this Febreze Noticeables. First of all, it smells freaking phenomenal. But yeah, that’s a given. It is also getting me a bit more in the holiday spirit. And with a few days left before Christmas gets here, I kinda need that.

You see, I don’t even have a Christmas tree set up. No decorations. Nothing. And this is sooooo not like me. Baby Clumps’ impending birth + chronic fatigue has me out of the holiday spirit so far the fragrance from this little decorative fragrance wall plug has been one of the only things to get me to feel…jolly.

And this means a lot because I am totally one of those people who like to go all out for the holidays. But whatever, if the most I can get this year is pleasant vibes from this Cranberry & Frost scent, then I’ll take it. Proctor & Gamble gifted me with this sample and I just felt so inclined to share my love for these things. I can’t wait until they go on sale so I can scoop up more. I mean, they last forever so it’ll be well into February before we need to re-up from this one.

Ohmigoodness, The Makeup Show Orland was epic, y’all. I mean, I knew it would be a big deal but when the day actually came, I was floored. I didn’t even get to do half of what I wanted to do at this show. Which sucks. Walking big beauty shows is already a daunting task but it’s a freaking workout when you’re 7 months pregnant.

Sometimes I forget that I’m pregnant. It sounds crazy, I know but my belly isn’t ginormous so I feel like I can do the same things I did pre-pregnancy. Um no. My poor feet got all swollen (sexy, uh?) and fatigue hit me within only a few hours of being at the show. But I did what I could picture-wise when I was there.

The show was held at The Peabody Hotel in Pointe Orlando. There were more than 60 brands in attendance and we would have seen more except Hurricane Sandy messed things up a bit. But the vendors that were there were welcomed by over 2,000 beauty professionals. But first things first. My girls Courtney of Phyrra.net and Cristina of Let Them Have Polish and I, along with Koren of EnKore Makeup and Elessa of Pursebuzz rocked our beauty blogging panel.

I mean, rocked! The crowd was packed and the 5 did such a great job at answering questions and keeping the crowd interested. Shortly after the panel, I chit chatted with a few Clumps of Mascara lovers and then flewwwww to Elessa’s booth.

Please check out her Hello Kitty shoes. *faints* I stocked up on her glitzy and shimmery jewelry and baubles.

And then I made my way over to Tia Dantzler’s booth.

Words can’t express how much I love celebrity makeup artist Tia Dantzler. I first met at a blogging conference and have been loving her ever since. Aside from being crazy talented, she is such an inspiration to makeup artists everywhere. She recently released her FIRST makeup DVD. But more about that later. 😉

The sea of vendors…

It’s pretty lame of me to not have many pictures of me with my beauty blogging sisters. In fact, I only have a few.

Shortly after linking up with some of my girls, I ran into Cat getting her makeup matched at AJ Crimson’s booth. He recently launched a foundation line and the shades were people of darker hues. Holla!

The Make Up For Ever booth is always doing something spectacular at beauty shows.

And then I stopped by the Cult Nails booth!

I am obviously a member of this cult so I was so excited for Maria and her super supportive husband.

And that about wraps up my photos. Pretty pathetic, I know. I had an amazing time and I’m so glad that that the show made its way to Orlando. I’m actually thinking about going to The Makeup Show in NYC again. You know, if Baby Clumps will allow. 😉

Instagram Is Love

5 days agoby clumpsofmascaraNail polishing in a parking lot. Look. Gotta pamper when and where you can.

17 hours agoby clumpsofmascara#iRepost@occmakeup : "Introducing our first look at #LipTarRTW , launching on August 14th! Left to right: Vintage, Black Metal Dahlia, Lydia, Anime & Rx! Stay tuned as we reveal the next 5 shades next week!" --- Soooo, makeup and OCC Lip Tar fans, what do we think about this new packaging? I'm kinda excited about it!

6 days agoby clumpsofmascaraBeen tackling my hurr these days. Which is a big deal because I'm usually pretty lazy. Test drove some @LovinMyTextures products and yessss, I LOVE them! Check out my review. It's in the bio. Much love to @lovettehair for my tri-color situation. ❤️

4 days agoby clumpsofmascaraSome say red lipstick isn't professional. Oh. Really? I'll make my own rules and still get the job done.

3 days agoby clumpsofmascaraAnd on today's agenda...food photography. I would love to be a food blogger. But I don't want to cook. Ever.

4 days agoby clumpsofmascaraSome of y'all have your coffee and then crazy folx like me blend up spinach, an apple and an entire lemon to drink. Had one kid in my stomach craving it and a kid on the outside steal half. Righteous.

3 days agoby clumpsofmascara#iRepost@tjmaxx : "Wanted for fall: A bold new bag. - Mannnn, why can't I ever find items like this when I'm in TJ Maxx? A purple bag? I want one!!

5 days agoby clumpsofmascara'Best be your on cheerleader. Don't wait for a pat on the back. Or a LIKE or comment. You don't need to have a slew of approvals from anyone. Be dynamic for YOU!

3 days agoby clumpsofmascaraGood morning, risk takers! Today I'm doing something incredibly challenging and scary. I make it a habit to push myself to the limit often. You should, too. Come on. DO IT NOW!!

2 days agoby clumpsofmascaraI neeeed time to myself. Marriage and parenthood did not change this. Every morning, I wake up earlier than everyone else. And just be. No demands. No rushing. I do what I want. I sip my tea and pray and read and polish my nails. Or I do nothing. It does SO much for my sanity and peace. Mamas and daddies, give it a try. - [NOTE] This likely doesn't work with newborns. Those tiny humans own every fiber of your being. Happy Friday!

1 week agoby clumpsofmascaraScooped up some new head wraps from @thewraplife . In loooooove with these prints. Can't wait to chop them for mommy & daughter twin wraps.

5 days agoby clumpsofmascaraMy coworker goes, "I haven't bought a lipstick in a year." Oh no!!! She must not know 'bout me. Tomorrow is National Lipstick Day and I've got to get her prepared! Packing her a nice goody bag of lipsticks. I'm the same way if you visit my house. NO ONE leaves empty-handed. Beauty goodies for all!