Couple Keeps It Interesting By Bickering In Different Positions, Rooms

OVERLAND PARK, KS—Saying that spontaneity is key to spicing up a marriage, local couple Dale and Barbara Patterson told reporters Wednesday they’ve kept their relationship interesting over the years by bickering in a variety of different positions and even different rooms.

“Sometimes we’ll look directly into each other’s eyes when we’re having arguments, and other times she’ll turn away from me and I’ll scream at her from behind,” said Dale Patterson, 37, who told reporters that the couple resolved to shake things up a bit when their angry exchanges grew stale after 12 years of marriage. “We’ll pounce on each other the second we get home from work in the evening, and if we wake up in the mood we’ll go at it again in the morning.”

“We moved into a new house just a few months ago, and I swear we’ve already gotten into it in every room, not to mention the basement, the garage, the backyard shed—you name it,” he added.

According to Barbara Patterson, 38, she and her husband used to only antagonize each other once a month at most—always in the bedroom, always in the same routine manner. Usually, she said, Dale would finish screaming first, and before she had time to get in a last word, he would just let out a groan, roll over, and go to sleep.

“Our fighting used to be completely passionless and predictable, but now we bicker at a moment’s notice whenever we feel the mood coming over us,” said Barbara Patterson, who confirmed she recently marched into her husband’s office, slammed the door, swept everything off his desk, and “went to town on him.” “Sometimes we’ll keep at it all night. Last Friday, we had arguments at least five times before we both collapsed, completely exhausted.”

“Just yesterday we exchanged one hot-blooded glance during the kids’ swimming lessons, and before I knew it we were having a quickie shouting match right in the hallway outside,” she added.

Dale Patterson confirmed to reporters that his wife is not shy about bickering while other people could be listening or even watching, and in fact “gets pretty worked up” when the couple has arguments in public. He confirmed that at Christmas dinner last year, Barbara angrily stood up from their dining room table and stormed into the kitchen, where he soon joined her and the two “just tore into each other” right then and there.

Admitting that at times their disputes can get fairly wild and uninhibited, Barbara recalled how during the car ride home from a particularly tense visit with her in-laws, she surprised her husband by giving him a piece of her mind while he was driving. Things grew heated very quickly, she said, and her impulsive act nearly caused Dale to swerve off the road.

The couple also stated that modern technology has allowed them to provoke each other even while Dale is away on business trips.

“The tension builds up all day and by the time I get on Skype with Dale, I’m ready to explode,” Barbara said. “I just get all flushed and I admit I can get pretty loud. When we’re really going at it, I just want to throw that man around the room.”

“And when he gets home, I do,” she added. “Believe me, I give it to him good.”