Goodbye 2018, a recap

It’s the first week of 2019. Beginnings are my favorite. I love fresh starts, Sundays, and a good plan to get started on just about anything. The first week of a new year generally gives me a ton of delight. But this new year feels a bit different, a bit heavier, less like a clean slate and more like a muddy weighted step in the thick sludge that is Transition.

My family, myself, my business – we are all squarely in the midst of big transitions and life feels messy. And beautiful. And full of possibility, too. But also hard.

Yet, I want to create the marker, somehow, here in this blog space (as I have done since 2005!), that a new year has begun and I want to recap the gifts, the struggles, the leaps, and the fullness of 2018.

This will be my 13th year doing these yearly recaps. Holy smokes!

The early recaps (2006-2009) show my life unfolding from hospital social worker to newbie artists and all the ups and downs of fully being in the FLOW for perhaps the first time in my life. There’s a lot of drama in those years, divine happenings, knowings, fearlessness and confidence.

The middle years (2010 – 2012) reveal my journey into new motherhood, navigating a growing business, challenges with confidence, remodeling a home, and settling into (and often struggling with) my creativity.

The later years (2012 – 2015) reveal a woman in her late 30’s coming into herself, depending on her spiritual practice, and learning some hard truths about what it means to live through hard stuff while keeping her heart open.

The current-ish years (2016-2018) show a woman entering her 40s, more and more dedicated to her self-care, her spiritual practice, and her knowings. They reveal many recalibrations and shifts as life unfolds with a fierce commitment to alignment and harmony and light and joy. Good stuff. Life in progress stuff.

I am proud of all of these years. And I’m so glad I’ve captured some of their pivotal moments in these recaps.

My word for 2018 was Rise. It was a really good word and carried many meanings, especially at first. Yet, as the year began to unfold, it took on one super clear meaning. All the burning it down and renewal of 2017 led to countless new plantings and seeds that just about covered the entire landscape of my life – new creativity seeds, where we wanted to live seeds, how I wanted to run (or not run) my business, how we wanted to live (simply), and so on. 2018 was the year that the new seeds began to come up out of the soil and Rise. It required so much patience, determination, and brave choices toward the light of alignment. A really good year.

I worked out a ton – especially the first half of the year, relishing in the confidence it instills, the discipline it teaches, the strength it builds. In the end, working out gifted me vibrancy. I do it for the progress, not perfection.

I gathered with friends, many times throughout the year, for radiate sessions, tea, girlie weekends, and heart centered conversation.

My heart burst daily being a mama to True over and over again. I thought a lot about motherhood about boys (and hoped my mothering provided safe spaces) and I worked non-stop on my self-compassion practice.

I had an up and down relationship with Instagram. Sometimes I loved it. Sometimes I did not.

I grieved the loss of my nephew. I can still hardly believe he is gone.

Began daily group video check-ins with two of my besties, which added immeasurable joy and value to my everyday life.

Made a really big decision and retired both of my painting courses, as well as several other offerings as a way to make room for new offerings. Practiced exquisite self-care during the transition and also struggled, big time.

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