Thursday, April 28, 2011

Growing up as the baby of 5, you can say that I quickly learned how to make myself heard. As the years went on, I realized the reason why I was yearning for attention. I was seeking someone else to show me how special I was, tell me how much I was loved, and remind me that the Lord had a special plan for me all because I couldn’t tell myself those things and believe them. It confused me for a long time why I felt that way as a child. I had the most loving family I could have ever asked for and there was never a lack of love around. But for whatever reason that was how felt, and it was something I really struggled with right up until I graduated from college. Since then the Lord has really been teaching me to go to Him for encouragement, let Him show me how much I am loved, and most of all seek Him for wisdom and direction in my life. In today’s world, I have found that it truly is a battle not to get tangled up in what others think of me. It’s definitely not easy, and I often find myself being tempted to seek someone else’s approval instead of trusting in Him and what God has told me. Even though it is still a struggle sometimes, I am proud of how far I’ve come and am truly grateful for all the hardships and lessons I have learned thus far. I have so much to be grateful for, and when I stop and remind myself of that, it is hard to imagine how anyone could take that joy away.

My advice to young girls today would be not to waste all their energy seeking approval & validation from those around them in order to determine their self-worth. Learn to trust yourself and listen to your feelings. Surround yourself with loyal and encouraging friends. Never forget how special you are, and always remember that you are loved more than you could ever imagine.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

We went to Lubbock for Easter and made a new friend. My mother-in-law had a new neighbor and she is my son's age. She came over after she heard my son crying about one of his toys in the front yard. She wanted to see what was going on. He was being 2. She understood his dilemma. We invited her over to come and play and they were fast friends. I immediately grabbed my camera. She had me at hello. I mean, look at those eyes and eyelashes. She is so adorable and so sweet. We couldn't have asked for a better friend. Things ended with a hug which is huge coming my from my little one. We look forward to many more years of visits while we are in town!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

We went to San Antonio a few weeks ago and got to enjoy fiesta. I loved seeing all the color around. There was good music, good food and time with family. I will take that any time I can get it! My son was instantly drawn to the wrestling masks. It made me smile because my grandpa Ray used to love to watch wrestling on the Spanish station on tv. I thought it was pretty hokey, but I would sit there and watch it with him just to spend time with him. I miss him. He's been gone since 1996 and I can't wait to see him in heaven.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

This week's challenge at i heart faces is wind. I took this picture of a friend recently for a new series I have on my blog. It felt like the wind worked against us for most the session, but I loved this one!

It seems like so many people I talk to lately are overwhelmed. Between work, kids and life that it is hard to stay positive.

As a mom, I struggle with that so much. I work full-time, I have two kids, I am a wife and I take pictures, too. I find it is easy to beat myself up about not being all things to all people. I don't want to let anyone down. I am sure you can relate!

I often try to remind myself that is is okay to fail sometimes. It is okay to miss one event, or not work late all the time like the inner workaholic in me wants to. An insane work ethic is sometimes hard to break.

I feel like the greatest responsibility I was given was to be the mother to my two children. I can help shape their habits and their little hearts.

So to my other friends out there who struggle with the same mixed feelings-you have permission to be human. We are all doing the best we can with what we have been given and sometimes that just has to be enough.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Growing up I moved about every two years. When I was younger, it was fun and exciting, but as I got older I did not like it. When I was in eighth grade we moved from Wyoming to Colorado. Then in ninth grade, I moved from Colorado to New Mexico. I hated being the new girl. I felt like people were looking at me and judging me. I had a whole list of insecurities. I hated my nose and my profile especially. I did not want to be at a new school where everyone is looking at the new girl. I didn’t really want to make friends or have to meet new people. Eventually I made some great friends in New Mexico and loved living there. In fact, I moved back a few years ago.

I wish I could say that I do not have any insecurities now that I’m older, but that would be a lie. There are still things that bug me about myself, but I think you just come to accept yourself better. I know my nose is big, but I get it from my Grandma Pauline and she was an amazing woman, so that makes me proud. I rarely even think about my profile now and at one point I remember hating to sit at a basketball game or somewhere with people all around. That seems so silly now. I think we come to realize that there are way more important things in the world than us and our looks. As girls, we are always conscious of our looks, but as adults they do not consume us. Now, I am proud of my accomplishments and my children. I want to be a strong person for my girls and help them overcome their fears and insecurities. I do not think you can go through life without feeling there are things you’d like to change about yourself, but you can learn to love and appreciate all that you are and all that you have.

I am now the mom of three beautiful girls. I want to be a role model to them, but I still catch myself complaining about this or that. They always say, “Oh Mom!” I am making a conscious effort not to be critical of myself. I also always try to support them and point out the positive aspects of all situations. I want them to be able to walk with their heads held high, to be compassionate of others and to love themselves for who they are. I think they are well on their way, but I will always be here to help them overcome obstacles they face. I wish for a second we could see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us the most! I know we’d all love that person very much.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

I am so blessed to get to live life along side this family. We are on the countdown to meet baby brother. It seems like we just did Kinley's newborn pictures. My how time flies. I had to incorporate the bluebonnets that are in season. Isn't mom looking gorgeous?

I know these are in the storyboard, but I had to show them big. Mom looks so great!

I also love this one of mom and dad. In true mom fashion, I was holding Kinley on my hip with my other arm.