This blog is my resting place for all of my journal entries and letters I wrote to my brother Jim as he was dying of Creutzfeldt Jakob Disease. I miss you, Jim and it's not right that you aren't here anymore!

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pissed Off Pain

“My heart never knew loneliness until you went away. I’m missing you.”

Adultsiblinggrief.com

On Uptown Girls Dakota Fanning said, “But now you are going to give me Mad Cow Disease and my brain will get eaten away!” Ohgod, it was like a punch to the gut. I felt sick, like I had to throw up. They were making a joke about what killed him and I certainly wasn’t laughing.

There was a commercial on TV recently for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. The text read, “It’s like dying and going to heaven……without the pesky death part.”

Uh-huh.

I’m sure that when my brother died he thought, “this is just like eating a peanut butter cup!” fuckers.

Your levity about something so incredibly, excrutiatingly painful just pisses me off. You are a bunch of clueless fucks who sit around in offices making jokes about something that you are not mature enough to handle, so you mock those of us who have actually had to deal with it those of us who have had to face it head on, whether we wanted to or not, whether we were ready or not.

But, it is so goddamned important, isn’t it, that you sell another bottle of shampoo or that you convince more sheeple that some purse with someone’s name on it is important so you mock us, you ridicule our pain, our reality that we live in while you generate your counterfeit reality.