I’ve been thinking of a way to make the blog look and feel better. I have so many interests that sometimes I wonder if people don’t think my blog is so disjointed. So I’m thinking of creating another blog, one that incorporates my foodie-wannabe entries, my photography (however amateurish it is!) and my day to day journalling (because, let’s face it, I can’t write in my journal AND write in my blog all the time and write faithfully in BOTH!).

I have been struggling with motivation that past few days. I am at my desk today and I just want to go home!

It hasn’t helped that I’ve been reading articles about work burnout and I am finding that I am ticking all the boxes and all the articles are saying that I’m on the verge of one. But then again, while I think I’m on the brink, I still wake up every morning, drag myself out of bed, pray, get ready for work and tell myself things will be okay.

Psychology Today says “[F]igure out what you want, power through the pain period and start being who you want to be.”

So that’s exactly what I’m going to do today. I’m going to sit here, do what I have to do because in the doing, I’m going to get where I need to be!

I think this is the first photo challenge that I knew I didn’t have to dig photos out for. As luck would have it, I took sun-themed photos this week!

If I get off at Dovercourt, the shortest way to my block of flats is to cross over the train tracks via the overpass. I saw a fantastic photo opportunity when I saw how the sun was peeking through the clouds.

Another “sun shot” presented itself yesterday. Yesterday was the most confusing day ever. We had cold winds, gray skies, amazing sunshine, brilliantly blue skies, rain and hail! All in one day! The blue skies were too pretty not to photograph for posterity though! The sun was shining so brightly that I just pointed my iPhone upward and took the photo! I intended to photograph only the blue skies and the lovely feathery clouds but the sun saw it fit to insinuate itself into the picture!

It’s barely 9:30 and I’m at my desk feeling like I’ve forgotten so many things — my sensibilities and my brains among them!

I felt horrible when I woke up this morning. My hands hurt, despite being in splints most of the night last night. I was rushing around today because my hands were slowing me down (really must book that operation to have them sorted out sooner rather than later huh?). I thought I’d got myself properly sorted out — makeup done, hair done, the usual jewelry on, that sort of thing. But no, I forgot to put on my pearl studs! I’m the kind of person who needs to have earrings on or else I feel completely naked (I was worse before because I simply had to have earrings AND a watch on)! I have a system of getting ready you see: shower and hair washed, brush my teeth, moisturise (diabetics have to because we tend to have very dry skin), hair done, face cleaned, toned and moisturised, make up done, get dressed, earrings on, necklace on, watch on (no rings at the moment as my fingers are swollen and look like chipolatas because of the carpal tunnel syndrome). But today, I’ve just felt so out of sync.

It turns out, I’ve not just forgotten my earrings. I’ve forgotten my train tickets and bus tickets! Not really a good start to the day. I’ve got that shivery feeling inside me that has always told me that something’s going to happen today. Maybe it’s just paranoia (or the beginnings of a panic attack!). But I kind of feel like I’m going to fall apart today. My first instinct during times like these is to pray for strength, perseverance and the right frame of mind to tackle the day.

One of my church babies is in town! Well, okay, not exactly in town as she’s staying with relatives in London. I live an hour and a half by train outside London. It’s near enough though. We met up on Monday and tried to catch up. I say tried because I haven’t seen her in almost four years! You cannot catch up in just one afternoon! Catching up with news from home about my church family has driven home the fact that I truly miss my friends. I think I missed my friends even more because my church baby is my two friends’ younger cousin and she reminded me so much of them in the way she talked, the inflections and the rhythm of her speech.

I grew up with these 3 ladies. Not from the age of infancy. We met each other in our teens, when I moved churches (mainly because the church we moved to was closer to our house than the church I grew up in). I’ve always believed that growing up together cements your friendship. You share experiences with each other that you can’t usually share with anyone else. But when you grow in faith together, your friendship becomes more than just a cemented friendship because your faith bonds you, fuses you together. Because your friendship is founded on faith, you’re able to weather the toughest storms. And we’ve been through very interesting times, to say the least. We’ve had our fair share of misunderstandings, unspoken and otherwise. But we are blessed because we have our faith experiences that bind us in love and that allows us to overcome anything.

You know that statement that is included in most wedding ceremonies, “What God has put together, let no man put asunder”? I believe that it applies to every kind of relationship that God has put together, whether it be a marriage or a friendship. A friendship that is based ultimately on faith is a friendship forever. A friendship that is centered on Christ is a friendship that will stand the test of time.

Despite the distance (one is in Australia, one is in England, one is in the Philippines and one is a jetsetter who is all over the place!) I think we all try in our own ways to keep in touch. I feel the affection when we email, chat or when we skype (God bless technology!). And everytime I am reminded of how much we care about each other, I whisper a prayer of thanks. I know I am blessed because I have 3 very dear friends. That’s more than what most people have and I count those 3 ladies part of my treasure chest.

While I am assured, and reassured, that we will always be friends, and that our friendship will last even if we aren’t able to have anymore of our Starbucks coffee dates, I think I will wallow in the missing them. Because I do.