Sunday, June 26, 2011

1) cutest lil thing in the world! 2) i absolutley LOVE fireplaces....real ones. 3) hanna and i on the deck! she is such an amazing doggie! look at her eyes, they are two different colors! 4) my parents and i out on the golf course. 5) my man did WELL. 6) us on the cart. sooo much fun! =) last weekend was a double whammy fathers day with my man and i. on friday we went to eli's family's cabin at the lake for the night. while eli was out fishing and doing other manly things with his dad, his mom and i stayed inside and read in front of the fire, made dinner, desert and did other womanly things. well, she actually did all the cooking stuff. all i did was help peel apples, kept the kitchens wood stove going for warmth cuz it was freeeezing and kept the dishes clean. it was sooo much fun to be up at the cabin with just his parents and i! it rained almost all saturday, but it didn't matter. we all enjoyed ourselves completely.sunday eli and i celebrated fathers day with MY family. we went out golfing with my parents and then out to dinner. i drove a cart and i guess you could say that i'm not the best cart driver. i sort of skidded out a few times...almost hit a tree, and my parents cart. i wasn't paying too much attention to the path because mr eli looked so darn cute in his golfing clothes i couldn't help to stare at him while he sat next to me! ;)i know this is a week late, but... i hope everyone else had a great fathers day weekend!ps. i emptied my second bottle of gleevec, and still no anti nausea meds! yahooo!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

a few months ago someone contacted me for an interview for a magazine. i was beside myself and eagerly accepted the opportunity. a couple weeks ago i received my copy and i have gotta say, it is a little weird to see myself on a magazine. i have received some very sweet emails from those in the UK that read my story....and.....purchases. so NOW tumor hater is over seas. so exciting!

it is pretty surreal to me how much has changed in the past 6 months. 6 months ago i decided i would except my tumors in a new way. i wanted to be more open about my emotions with the tumor-ey side of me. I began to love myself even though i have tumors. i began to believe i was love-able even though my future is unclear. yes, 'began', 6 months ago. i believe that one can not fully love another until they love themselves. loving myself regardless of my 'details' has been one of the best blessings ever and for the first time in my life i am so excited about my future. i am no longer going to sit back and let life slip away because i have tumors. in fact these tumors are the driving force behind my passions. it is a daily, hourly battle to adjust how i think of my tumors. and believe me, i have been constantly fighting this battle no matter how secure i sound on this blog. it is ruff! but i have a choice, we all do. i don't want my tumors to cripple my mind. they can take away my nerve function and cause pain, but it is up to me if they take away my heart and soul and that is what really matters anyways.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

pic 1) me with my victory, gleevec bottle one DONE! pic 2) i wanted you to get a closer look at this hair of mine. my reverse mullet. ladies and gentleman meet my boy hair. boy hair meet everyone. no matter how long this hair gets, i will forever call it my boy hair. pic 3) for those of you who don't know me too well, i wanted to share with you that i LOVE tjmaxx. the one in eugene oregon is my favorite. it just may be my favorite place on earth? id rather go here than disney land. this is MY happiest place on earth (even though i may only make a purchase of 1 or 2 items...this place gives me butterflies no matter what my wallet looks like) anyways, i can even get my hair products there, win! pic 4) i went over to my parents house the other day to visit....rudy. rudy-bega. i love you mom and jim, but you both know i'm obsessed with rudy booty and i missed my little fuzz bucket. love him...soo much! cant you see why?gleevec bottle numero uno is down! EMPTY! oh what a victory. still not taking anti nausea meds. who cares if i was throwing up all tuesday morning. i'm not taking them again unless i throw up 2+ days in a row. why? cuz i'm tuff (stubborn).i've been thinking. my tumors dwell in my body. my body one day will die. my tumors will die too. my soul however, will not. my tumors are just a detail of my body. a detail should not define me. just like my body should not define me. nor should yours define you. don't let this worlds terrible idea of what our bodies should look like rule your life. image is such a waste of time. our bodies image is the least of who we are. or at least they should be. be healthy (obviously). love your self. love others. don't let your size or shape hold your happiness. don't be tricked into thinking that your tumors, your cancer, your "defects" or your family should define you or make you less of a person. there is a way that we can take the hard things in life and turn them into good. we all have the opportunity to live a joyful life. its all about perspective. don't pity yourself. don't be your biggest enemy. it was never my tumors that held me back. it isn't my dads fault, or my sisters death. it wasn't these things that have given me complexes that held me back, it was me. don't be your biggest enemy. it is ALWAYS up to us to decide our happiness. if you cant find anything to be happy about today, find something simple and focus on it. like -->this<-- video. it HAS to make you laugh. don't focus on the bad. let go of the bad, forgive and become the YOU that you are dying to be!

Monday, June 6, 2011

i went to a baby shower saterday for a friend from highschool. she is having twins! how fun! lemme just say that THIS baby shower was straight out of a martha stewart magazine. it was perfecTo. adorable. just....unbelievable. from our hand made napkins, to the amazing jelly jars (that i guess are called 'mason jars') we drank out of, to all of the homemade treats. my words will never do justice. nor will these pictures. pic 1) some of us at the par-tay. left to right. nikki, rachel MEGAN (and babies) me and amanda. what are all those close pins doing on my shirt you ask? oh i collected them from guests when they said the word 'cute' it was a game. i was good. i won. people actually started surrendering there own clothes pin when they realized they didnt stand a chance against me. muaa-ha-ha-haaa. pic 2) the beautiful mamma to be. now i see the 'glow' they talk about. dont you? pic 3) my cute little mason jar drink! 4) paper puff balls. i want these all over the place, all of the time. wouldnt life be more fun if these were everywhere? light posts. telephone lines. trees in the park. you get the picture. it would make your everyday life a big party. pic 5 and 6) Sunday june 5th would have been my sisters 28th birthday. my boyfriend and i drove out to put flowers on her grave. sunflowers were her favorite. it was hard for me to have him take these pictures. it was like i was taking a picture with her...for the first time in 11 years.

so grateful for my friends and family. could i ever say that enough? this week was so nice and relaxing and now the weekend is over. phooo-e. i am actually really looking forward to my new work schedule that starts this week. and the SUN that is supposedly making its arrival to our area starting thursday! wa-hooo! apparently the town i live in has actually not seen so much rain in over 100 years. so yes. i am extremely happy about this.p.s. i am taking 4 gleevec pills a day now. withOUT the anti nausea meds!!!! sooooooooo excited!! lets see if i can keep that up!did YOU guys have a good weekend?

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