A student sent me inappropriate pictures and I’m afraid to say anything

I’m in my mid-twenties, and I’ve been working as a substitute teacher for the last couple years (I joined Teach for America right out of college). I know some of the girls in classes I teach have crushes on me — high schoolers aren’t very subtle — but I brush it off, because I’m not an idiot. Last week, however, I got a disturbing email from a girl in the English class I subbed for. Pictures were attached. You get the gist. What do I do about this situation? I obviously haven’t responded, but I’m afraid she might go Lifetime-movie on me.

— THOSE PICS AREN’T MINE

Every day I thank all the gods that there was no such thing as sexting, that digital pics were too hard to email impulsively, and that Google wasn’t good enough to turn up any teacher’s personal email within five minutes of lackadaisical searching when I was in high school.

Not that I’d have been the kid who sent those things to anyone, let alone a teacher. But it never hurts not to have the option. Teen brains are like beehives in a world that’s all sticks.

Luckily, even the most cursory examination of your computer and/or accounts will prove the story you’re telling. Unless this girl is a evil genius, and set the email up with all kinds of internet proxy servers and worms and other tech things I frankly don’t understand, the digital breadcrumbs will prove exactly what you’re telling me.

So: Go immediately to authorities.

Start with the school; these are your potential employers, and you don’t want to appear to be hiding anything from them. Tell them exactly what you told me: that you did nothing to provoke this (add that you don’t know how she got your email, or explain how she would have if you know) and that you haven’t responded because you were uncomfortable with the situation. See what they suggest as next steps.

I would push for them to facilitate official contact with the police. Being as open as possible about this is your friend (just watch one of those Lifetime movies if you’re in doubt).

Finally, encourage school officials to look into mental health options for the student. Teens are impulsive and make bad decisions all the time, but emailing nude photos of yourself to pretty-much-a-stranger implies something deeper is going on. If you don’t feel they’re following through, the Department of Children and Families might have some advice on how to proceed.

The reason crazies get so far in Lifetime movies is that no one does the reasonable thing from the beginning: telling someone in a position of power about the crazy. Ensure your story is a dud with no plot twists by talking about this now.

One of the most exciting offseasons in NBA history had its watershed moment on Wednesday, a 12-hour standoff between the Dallas Mavericks and Los Angeles Clippers over free agent center DeAndre Jordan.

Ridiculous doesn’t even begin to capture all that transpired, from the storm of emojis to the storming and barricading of Jordan’s house by a cavalcade of Clippers. More

My friend has a dog, and she’s always been kind of half-assed about caring for it. I’ll see her out at a party or a barbeque all day long, so I know the dog is home alone, and sometimes she goes out right after she finishes a shift (she’s a waitress, so that might be pretty late), without even going home to feed the dog or let it out. The other day, though, I went over to her house and realized things have crossed a line. There were piles of dog feces in a couple of corners, and the entryway rug was soaked in urine when we walked in. She laughed it off and called the dog naughty, then cleaned up the poop and basically ignored it. I’m worried about the puppy, and about my friend; what kind of person does that to an animal? Should I call animal control on her?More

My parents agreed to help my sister and I with college. I went to a state school and saved them a bunch of money. My sister went to a private liberal arts school that cost three times as much. Now she’s dropping out, and she’s convinced my parents to give her the equivalent of her last year of tuition as a “nest egg,” since they “would have spent that money on her anyway.” I think that’s completely unfair, and I resent my sister for manipulating my parents and them for giving in. How can I get over those feelings? I always play by the rules, and I feel like I’m being punished for it.

-THE GOOD SON

There’s a reason parents love falling back on that phrase, “You think this isn’t fair? Well life isn’t fair.” It’s because they’re right.

If you want to tally up what your parents have done for you versus your sister in dollars and cents, you’re right, they’re being “unfair” to you. But the other side of this coin is that you’re clearly more capable of navigating the world on your own than your sister is.

Just look at the facts: You chose college responsibly, while she went somewhere expensive though she clearly didn’t value that. You finished your education and are moving on to the next phase of life, she’s dropping out. You clearly have your shit together in ways she doesn’t yet, but also in ways she may never achieve.

In a cosmic way, your sister might be the one who got the short end of the stick; maybe because of her wiring, or maybe because your parents indulged her, she’s not nearly as capable and successful as you are.

If anything, that’s not something you should resent her for, it’s something you should feel lucky about.

Try seeing this problem not in the light of money, but in the light of your parents loving their children no matter what. Your sister needs help right now, and they’re in a position to provide it. They’re choosing to do so because they don’t want her to wind up in a bad place.

You don’t need their help right now, and I’d wager anything they’re extremely proud of you for that.

If you really can’t get over the money, why not go to your parents with a “responsible child” proposal: Ask if you can use a similar “gifted” sum towards a down payment (now or in the future) or further education. If they say no, tell them how you feel: You’d like to be rewarded for your good choices, and instead it feels like your sister is being rewarded for bad ones.

Or, better yet, stop focusing on the dollar amounts your parents can give you, and try to pay closer attention to the sort of support that really matters, the kind that made you the “good son” in the first place.

My ex posted a video of us (that he promised me at the time he deleted right after we took it) to a revenge porn site. I only found out because one of his friends told me about it; luckily I was able to get the site to take it down.More

My friend drives drunk. A lot. And not just “one drink too many” drunk, more like “in obviously rough shape” drunk. It not only makes me scared for her, it makes me angry: She could hurt herself or someone else, and there’s really no excuse in the era of Uber. I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she brushes it off or claims she won’t do it again, but then does, anyway. I’ve been tempted to call the cops on her just to get her to stop doing this. How do I convince her it’s not worth it before something terrible happens? More