LeBron's New Sneakers Cost $315: Why Don't You Own Them Yet?

When I was 11 years old, $100 seemed like an absurd amount of money to pay for anything, let alone sneakers.

But the grey-and-black “Hare” Air Jordan VII model Nikes had to be mine and there was no stopping me.The sleek ultra expensive status increasers would become a part of me.Once I bought the sneakers, they would morph from accessory to necessity.

After I purchased the prized kicks, I walked out of the mall that day feeling as if I was part of something.Through one purchase of sneakers I had been transformed from an average kid to a kid that mattered.

If this sounds outrageously dramatic, well it was.

Moving forward, Nike is trying to duplicate that same materialistic imagery in the heads of people everywhere with the unveiling of the LeBron X sneakers.However, it all came crashing to the ground. Within a few weeks, the shoes began to fall apart and my prepubescent prominence as a “cool kid” was very short lived.In fact, the lack of coolness has even followed me into adulthood.

These new sneakers will include cutting edge technology to let the owner know how high they actually jump.Oh, and the Wall Street Journal reported they will cost anywhere from $300-$315.Yes, for three bills you can wear LeBron’s sneakers.

First of all, besides the obscene price, most people that buy this will have no basketball future, which makes their jumping ability irrelevant.If basketball is in your future, your AAU coaches will already be testing your vertical.

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

But, if you don’t want the cutting-edge technology and would prefer the bare bones sneaker that cost $2 to make, well you’re in luck.You’ll be able to get this bargain at $180.

What a deal! I’ll take three, please.

However, perhaps the most irresponsible thing about the price is the effect on the street value of these sneakers.In a day and age where some thugs won’t think twice about robbing someone’s pocket lint, the LeBron X’s will become a neon flashing money sign for crooks.

During this global recession we’re mired in, how could a company get the stones to issue $300 sneakers?While he remains one of the world’s most marketable players, the man endorsing this shoe also basically told us our life sucks and his is great.

Oh Great One, may I line up to buy your bank-breaking computer shoe, sir?

When I bought my sneakers for $100, I never thought the industry would evolve to the tune of $300 for one pair.I understand how inflation works, but that much money for basketball sneakers is mind-boggling and downright insane.

I certainly hope these sneakers can stay together longer than two weeks.