On Being A Stay At Home Mom: It’s All About Me

I’m an avid reader, for those of you who don’t really know me. I’m no way the bookiest person out there, but I average about 3 books a month. But the crazy thing is, honestly, I can count the number of parenting books I’ve read on one hand. Truly, I can only count 5 books out of all the books I’ve read that have been dedicated to parenting and children. And of those 5, one was a book I read in college for one of my psychology courses and another was a Blogging for Books selection that I hadn’t originally intended to choose; therefore, I’ve only intentionally chosen 3 parenting books to read in all my years as a learner.

Now why is this important?

Here’s the thing, parenting is less about the things I do or don’t do and primarily about the person I am. If I grow as an individual in my relationship with God, He will help me in ALL my ways.

We’re told to be consistent; that consistency is the key. It’s pretty much true. But no matter how much we know it, unless God has transformed us into consistent people, we will never really be conistent as parents.

Every interaction I have with the people in my home flows from the person that I am. No parenting book can do that for me. Sure they may be able to provide some tools, but unless you have the personhood to use them, they really are meaningless.

I thank God often that I’ve been allowed the priviledge and opportunity to be at home because I GET to focus on myself–on changing the things about me that most people don’t have to deal with or simply don’t have the time to work on because they’ve got other pressing things vying for their attention. When I get cranky with my children in haste, I get to stop what I’m doing, meditate on my actions and attitude, and ask God to show me where it first went wrong. I get to stop and pray, evaluate, listen, and move forward.

When I’m dealing with some inner turmoil that is seeping into other areas of my life, I can take an entire morning, with coffee cup in hand, searching God in his Word asking for direction and help. Whereas, for so many others, they don’t get the opportunity to just stop whatever they have on their schedules that day and be with the Lord. Instead they have phone calls to make, appointments to schedule, deadlines to meet, clients to see, money to count, books to balance, merchandise to sell, etc.

By being at home, I’m allowed the blessing to work on me. And in working on me, I become a better mommy and wife; no best-selling parenting book can even come close to touching that! I’m not at all saying that we shouldn’t read parenting books; in fact, there are some good ones out there and it does good to take advantage of them. But here’s the thing, it’s less about being a better parent and more about being a better person. I attribute my ability to be a better mom to the fact that I’ve become a better person over the years. That’s it. It’s not sexy, but it’s true.

So, if you happen to be a SAHM, take advantage of the time that you have to work on YOU! Forget the dishes and the laundry and the disorganized pantry (sure, tackle those chores when necessary) and focus on becoming the person your family needs you to be. Then everything else will begin to fall into their rightful places.