I was told that to get someone to write the trash has always been a task. Scribes have to be begged, coaxed, bribed and even bullied at times. They are told that it is their tour of duty, they are being selfish, and they are only coming on runs and taking and not giving back anything. It is only the same set of people who are writing the trash and setting the runs and “on and on and on”. I have read some of the older trashes which were two and three pages long, now it looks like a modern cut and paste from recent hashes and only two paragraphs long. Good, I have now finished my first paragraph, but let me tell you how it all started.

Minding my business as usual on this day in Kernaham Village , setting off on the run, not thinking of anything in particular other than looking forward to enjoying the run and the lime afterwards, I felt this tap on my shoulder. Looking aside, I recognize the strange looking man from the Morne Diablo run who then said to me “Son, do you want to receive enlightenment?” “Huh, what the F*#%@ wrong with this man”, I said to myself. He asked me again, recognizing my puzzled look, I cautiously said … “OK”. Then he said you have to write the TRASH and you would receive enlightenment.

“But”, I complained, “I do not know anything about writing a Trash”. “Son”, he said, “Just observe, reflect, listen, maco, ask questions, mix a little and you would be surprised how much you would be enlightened, especially when the beers are nearly finished, then just write”. Ok, so I did just that.

People, the search for enlightenment isn’t as important as learning to appreciate the present, so I started to observe the present. My first observation on this run was the scent of manure. The village is an agricultural village in the back of literally nowhere, noted for its wonderful watermelon fields (I am sure among other things). We were told by the Hares that the villagers are very simple and the children and pets roam the streets as their home, so the hash groupies who like to think everything is a stray and carry home little dogs and cats to find them a home were warned to leave the people animals alone. The run started from an open playfield and continued into a ravine crossing. I observed this slim young man just gliding across the ravine to the other side, seemingly walking on the water. So enlightened I was, I tried the same thing and splash, I was in the water, so much for that, “On On” to the dirt road heading up some dry hill into open farm lands, passing working and cannibalized tractors, water tanks and curious villagers.

I observed a trail of people going down a long gravel roadway, only to find out it was a wrong trail. My enlightenment was “Sometimes it is necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly”.

Further on we went through some slightly swampy areas where I again observed this young bare footed hasher trying to pet a cow. My enlightenment was “Water a cow laps turns into milk”. Running now into a forest like area, damp with smelly mud, hashers bawling and cussing. Some stumbling along the way. Well, my enlightenment was “A stumble may prevent a fall”. This one was most laughable; we reached a point after coming out of the forested area, where a check had us going up this incline surrounded by a water melon patch. There was Doon checking busily in the fields, everyone waiting and watching patiently for him to find the right trail. So diligent was he looking, everyone getting anxious and impatient, and then to our surprise, up he comes with a watermelon which he broke and shared. Doon was looking for a watermelon. My enlightenment was “Hashers really need not to always follow Doon .

On the last leg of the run, I observed again them two bare footed hasher fellas in the swamp looking for something. When asked, they say they looking for Cayman, I hear it have snake in there, and my enlightenment was I hope they know “Water a snake licks changes into poison”

By now, the run is over and the lime and down downs start. The lime took place in a playing field with a lovely view of the east coast. There was a consistent sea breeze and a very relaxing evening.

But the last lap was yet to come, by a last drink in the only village bar. The local limers were watching our Mashasma with full pundit gear drinking beer. They appeared most shocked, especially when I overheard hashers asking if they had any cutters with BBQ Anaconda.

After this last lap, the group broke up and on home for a well deserved sleep.

Kernahan Village was certainly one of the best run sites of the year. A beautiful spot on a little elevation surrounded by lonely vistas. The run was well set but not surprising with so many hares. The food came early and sold out early.
The after lime was at the village bar, and this was quite a place. When we got there, there was a serious All 4’s competition going on, with some well crusted characters playing cards. Each face in that village had a story written on it.
At the bar when Papa Smurf and I asked the barman for two Jack Daniels, he simply gave us two cups with ice and gave us the bottle and said pour your own drinks.

This was the place where I thought I might find the enlightenment that I seek so dearly. I felt I was getting close.
The Poofter nomination was no contest. It was won by a young man (virgin) who was sporting a Digicel Jersey and using a bmobile phone . He was on the phone for most of the hash. He was a big hit with the ladies (I don’t know why, it eludes me), and was given the name Sperm Donor.

Welcome to the Virgins: KESTER, NATALIE, KASHA, ELSA, DENEISHA, AFI, MARK, GREGORY, REBECCA, GENEMARIE, RAJIN, NARDADARIN MARSHALL GIVEN A DOWN DOWN FOR THE BIRTH OF HIS SON

TOBAGO

Once again kindly pay your deposits to me or Taz , and everyone must be in a Halloween costume

MAHASHMA GOIN TOBAGO TO SEEK ENLIGHENMENT……….

Thursday 27th to Sunday 30th October, 2011

Cost: $1350.00

Come and seek enlightenment in Tobago and meet the Surinamese/Bajans/Guyanese Hashers who would be joining Mahashma in Tobago .

Friday 28th Oct. – A.M.: Morning run set by the Bimbos followed by fun day at Pigeon Point

(entrance fee/drinks/music included).

– P.M.: Night: Dinner provided followed by Karaoke Competition ………..

Prizes for Best Performers.

Sat. 29th Oct. – A.M.: Morning run set by Prick-ah-Possee followed by fun day at Beach

– P.M.: Night: Dinner provided followed by the ‘Monster’ Halloween Ball at

Johnstons… Costumes mandatory!! That means you cannot come as

yourself ! Prize for Best Costumes.

Sun. 30th Oct. – A.M.: Morning Live Run followed by a Lime at No Man’s Land. Lunch

included. RETURN TO JOHNSTONS APPROX. 4:00 P.M………….

BOOK YOUR RETURN FLIGHT ACCORDINGLY.

Hash Lingo

Virgins take note of the meaning of these signs!!!

While on the trail CALL “ON ON” when you see bits of shredded paper/flour! It helps those behind/possibly lost hashers.

“O” – check for the correct trail!

“X” – you’re on the wrong trail! Go back to the check point and start again.

“ON PASS” – to pass someone on the trail.

“ON BACK” – on the wrong trail, you may have reached an “X“….turn back to the check point “O“.

“On OFF” – you’re off the correct trail.

When you are almost in you would see: “ON IN” pointing to the correct direction.

For those who can’t keep up with the ‘3F’s’ (FIT, FAST AND FURIOUS) pack then just go with the ‘Backpackers’ (SMART) pack who just let them do all the work.>

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #787

Date: September 03, 2011

Time: 2:00 p.mHares: The Big DicksRunSite: MaturaDirections:

Head east on CRH till you reach the end of the dual carriageway in Wallerfield. Head north towards EMR. At intersection of EMR turn east or right towards Valencia. Drive along EMR passing gas station then police station on the right till you reach the Y junction in Valencia by traffic lights. Turn left heading to Toco and drive approx. 15km till you reach a T junction. Turn left heading north following signs till you reach the village of Matura. Look for sign on the right directing to Matura Bay Sea Turtle Nesting Site. Follow this road for approx 4km to run site which is on the beach. Travel time from POS 1.5hrs. Note that run must start promptly to ensure that all hashers can return safely before curfew starts