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Author
Topic: Need a poz friend (Read 5981 times)

I've been poz for almost 14 years and I have never really sought a support group. My heart is pounding just writing this. I don't know why I didn't, maybe that would make it too real. My husband obviously knows and my parents and siblings know, but none of the rest of my family does. My grandpa died 2 months ago not knowing. A lot of my friends know and are very supportive of me. But they really don't understand. They call and ask how I am and I say, "I'm really tired today" and they so "Oh, me too!" But what I mean is "I'm so tired my kids are going to make their own PB&Js today because I can barely get off the couch to pee!"

Anyway, I just need someone that I can talk to when crazy things are happening to me. I've never even posted on a board before, so I don't know if this is the right place or what! Anyone else out there who just needs a friend that is positive that you can relate to?

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Hannah

"I love golf. I hit the ball as hard as I can, walk 6 feet, and hit it again!" --Greg Hahn

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

I live in Missouri. I know there are support groups available, but I don't really want to do a group thing. Maybe too personal? It seems like when I try to talk about dying, everyone freaks out. My family, I can't talk to them at all. Especially my dad. He only once in a great while makes any reference to my health.

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Hannah

"I love golf. I hit the ball as hard as I can, walk 6 feet, and hit it again!" --Greg Hahn

If postive friends are what you seek.... My lady, you have found them in abundance here at the forum.Welcome to the family and RELAX... Most of us don't bite. We are rather chatty sometimes however.{{{{ BIG HUG }}}

Let me add my welcome here. These boards are pretty incredible. I'm very glad you've found this place. Whatever craziness or un-craziness you're going through, we're here to listen, and to help if we can.

Jay

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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Missouri eh? What part? My lady and I live here in Kansas City. Ya got friends now gerfriend!

It is amazing how our circle of friends change. I was diagnosed over a year ago, and being a coach for most of my kid's lives, the friends(?) that were so buddy buddy to me now look at me like I am about to eat their kid. I guess we find out who the real ones are.

There is a program out there called LIFE (Learning Immune Function Enhancement). It is a 17 week group meeting that I highly recommend. Not only will it change your outlook on HIV, it is also a wonderful support mechanism.

Welcome again and I am sure Trish will chime in here when she wakes up!

Hello and Welcome to the forums. You found a great place here, i have been here since this last spring and i love this place. These people are my family and they will become yours too, if you let them. If you need advice or just a place to rant and rave you found it.I too didn't want to go to support groups, i have been poz for 18 yrs. I have never gone to a support group, but now i am getting ready to start one up in my town. It is funny how things change in ones life. Now i can't wait to get startted and 2 yrs. ago i wouldn't go at all.Well if you wanted friends you found them. If you ever want to talk just pm me i will talk your ear off lol.Again welcome to the family and now sit back and relax and enjoy your new family.

You've come to the right place. We're all positive here, we understand and you're definitely not alone.

Like you, I have supportive family & friends, but they really don't understand what it's like living with HIV. Whenever there were family functions or we got together for holidays, I always felt alone even with all these people around me. I never felt like I fit in. I found that I had to find other pos people so I felt that I belonged somewhere. Coming to this site was the best thing I ever did for myself. There are many wonderful people here who are knowledgeable, caring & extremely supportive. So, you have hit on something fantastic here, and you should take advantage of it. I'd like to get to know you better and I hope you stick around with us cause you'll make some great friends.

A little bit about me... I'm 42 years old and have been HIV-positive since Nov. 1989. My husband died of AIDS in Oct. 1989, and I tested after burying him. No children. I'm originally from Brooklyn, NY and moved to KC, Missouri about 5 months ago to be with John (KCmetroman)... that's right, we met here on these forums and well, the rest is history.

As John mentioned, the LIFE program is a well worth giving a shot. We made friends while attending and it's a great support system. If you'd like more info, just let us know and we'll pass it on to you. What part of Missouri are you in? Perhaps one day we could meet and shoot the breeze.

Welcome again, and I look forward to hearing more about you. If there is anything you need, just ask... we're all here to help you through your days.

All the best,

Trish

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"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit." Eleanor Roosevelt

Greetings hmb4him,welcome aboard, have you talked with your doctor about your tiredness? Do you have access to a nutritionist or dietitian? When you get your next results have your doctor go over it with you so you clearly understand what it means and bring up this problem of fatigue. Do you have any sort of depression as well?Ask if there is some medication causing it, what options do you have , what changes can be made, etc. Keep asking and keep posting.Tiredness can be caused by many different things including side effects of your meds. Most docs want only to spend a minute amount of time with patients so have your questions ready.

If the doc doesn't know or gives you an answer you aren't satisfied with, ask if you can see someone like a nutritionist. Do you keep a record of your past results?You can get a lot of insight from the different forums here, just remember since your body is very different from everyone else you should talk with your doctors about adding supplements to your diet.It might me also a woman's problem in which case the ladies ( and don't mean the diva's) can help youKnowledge is empowermentCheersJohnny

« Last Edit: August 07, 2006, 10:37:20 AM by alisenjafi »

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"You shut your mouthhow can you sayI go about things the wrong wayI am human and I need to be lovedjust like everybody else does"The Smiths

Amen brother, I'm in the same crappy situation. I moved back to Washington to reconnect with family. Plus after loosing a well paying job, couldn't find another one I settled in a major depression. Lay infront of the TV all day and most of the night for nearly a year. Ran out of unemployent. I choose my friends carefully but they started dragging me into crystal meth. so while I was laying around I never had anyone to talk, ok but anyways.

I live in a Redneck town of 2500, population hasn't changed much since attending high school here in 1988. Portland, Or is the biggest city around but it's nearly 50 miles away. With todays gas prices who wants to make that trip two or three times a week. One of these days I'll feel I would feel well enuf to make a move closer to PDX. Because I HATE living with my mother again.

Good luck Man, I just thought I would share the fact that there's someone out there like you!

Wow, thanks so much for all the love guys! What a great thing to have people who know what I'm going through!

Trish and KCmetroman, I live in Springfield area, but I am originally from Lansing Ks. When my friends from there found out I was poz, they kept "losing my phone number". I have found friends here who accept and love me! I am almost 33 (Friday) and I have a wonderful husband who is negative and 2 amazing children, who are also negative. My son is 8.5 and my daughter is 5.5 (starting kindergarten soon). Right now I am not working, but I have to go back when the kids start school because my husbands job doesn't offer insurance!

I believe the tiredness I was experiencing was from Sustiva, because about 24 hours after I quit taking it, I felt so much better! I also started exercising, so that has helped tremendously.

It feels so good to know that I am no longer alone. I appreciate you all for sharing your most intimate secrets!

Thanks!hannah

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Hannah

"I love golf. I hit the ball as hard as I can, walk 6 feet, and hit it again!" --Greg Hahn

There is a LIFE program in Springfield. However, the class started for the fall already. As a matter of fact, one of the members here "richinsm" lives in Springfield also, and he is attending this class. Maybe when the next one starts up you'd like to give it a whirl. Just let me know if you're interested and I'll send you the info.

Good luck to you in finding work. It's unfortunate, but you'll really need the insurance to cover you. But you already know that. All the best...

Trish

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"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is buit." Eleanor Roosevelt

Hi Hannah,Welcome! I am glad you found the forums. There are wonderful, supportive people here who want to help. I understand tired....Has the doctor ruled out any underlying condition for your tiredness, or is it just the good old hiv tired?

I have been married for 12 years, found out I was pos in '93. Some of my family, and a few close friends know about it. They are supportive, but don't completely understand the tiredness, or the running to the bathroom, or the side effects of some of the meds.

But the people on the forums can relate, and it is good to know that one is not alone. Glad your here!Christine

Welcome to your safe haven... I was born in "Dodge City then "got out of Dodge." Lots of relatives still in Kansas. I am so glad you have ventured "out" and found us.. There is no need to suffer in silence and I to understand what is like not to be able to share what it is like to have this delema. Sure you can talk and talk and answer questions, but if you don't have others who know what its like, you might as well be talking to a mogul of snow. I live in a remote area with no support and I use this forum to find peace in knowing others share the same fears, worries. As well, celebrate the fact that we are here, we are alive and living. As for your being tired, I would listen to others. There is no reason to "Suffer in Silence" thinking that "this is the way its suppose to be". Quality to your life is what we all search for and demand. We are no different than anyone else. Given only the fact we have this fucked up protien mucking us about, makes no difference...

Welcome and stick around... You may find your solution or at least, make some really knifty friends who actually do give a shit about you and your health....

I am not TOO far away from ya! I live up here in KC! Trish and her main squeeze KCMetroman(john) are extremely knowlegable and have HUGE hearts! You ever need a weekend away let me know!

On a side note---- Trish, I would like to talk to you a little bit about what you are doing with the community, I may be in a place to help out on the career side of things for those of us who find it tough to find work.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

I'lll take a guess that HMB4HIM is an amalgamation of your maiden and married initals Sorry, but I'm too inquisitive for words!

Welcome to the forums. If you want to let it all hang out, this is the place. A quick read of any of the threads in this category will likely show just how candid people are. I hope that you can feel comfortable in asking and sharing whatever is on your mind. I've found it to be a great uplofting resource in the short time I've been here and have little doubt you will as well!

Hello HMB4HIM, it is Eldon. As our members has said it; Welcome to the forums where you will find answers to many of your questions, a lot of love, support and encouragement. John and Trish are a great team and you should definitely give them a holler!!!

I do encourage you to stick around and share with the other members, it makes a world of a difference as it has in my life! Again, you will be happy that you have found the AM family!

I would be all for meeting people in person, like a support group, but I don't know where any are here. Any suggestions? I live in south east Alabama, near Dothan and near Columbus, Georgia. Thanks. Love.

guyinsouthala,I would check with your local aids organization. Here we have AIDS project of the Ozarks. They are my case managers. They help me with everything I need. They are the ones who told me about the support groups here. Surely there is some sort of non-profit organization there that you keep in touch with?Hannah

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Hannah

"I love golf. I hit the ball as hard as I can, walk 6 feet, and hit it again!" --Greg Hahn

I am glad you found this place, as I did a couple of months ago. It is not just the info but the support and concern of other people who understand our situation that makes me spend a lot of time here. I am hoping to be of help too, when someone needs it.

I was feeling in need of the same. I have a few friends on the east coast of Canada who are POS. I have relocated to Vancouver about a year ago, dont know any POS people here. My friends are great, partner is great but not sure people can relate on an emotional level.