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Funny satire stories about Birmingham

Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, has again apologised to the city of Birmingham, UK. Having previously apologised for the factually inaccurate statement that Birmingham was a "Muslim-only city", Emerson has today issued a statement apologising t...

The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning.
Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...

London, UK - Sadass wannabe Sayeeda Warsi is out on her fat arse tonight following a spat about terrists and Trojan Horse stuff.
The jumped up nobody from Solihull has been given the Order of the Boot after publicly self-destructing her reputation...

Train driver Mohammad O'Toole expressed his relief today and praised the commuters on the 8.13am to Birmingham New Street train for being so understanding after he announced delays would mean they would get in 30 minutes late to their destination.

Brum, Land of the Brummies: Exasperated Brummies have been left with long waits and repeatedly been transferred to wrong Departments because the strong Brummie accent has baffled the voice recognition software.
The Brummie twang causes the machin...

The proposed high speed rail link between London and Manchester, with the shortest possible stay in Birmingham as is technically feasible, has been given the green light to be built, despite opposition.
However, protesters against the new rail lin...

Birmingham - The latest rash of Palace riot tourism hit Birmingham today with the arrival of royal eyesores William and Kate.
Bewildered locals were subjected to an hour of Middleton's relentless hair-flicking as the grief-gawping walkabout procee...

Aston Villa fans have made a complaint to the Premier League pleading for an immediate 'employment threatening' investigation into their clubs apparent rule breach after reportedly tapping up former Birmingham manager, Alex McLeish.
The Premier Le...

In a hastily drawn-up statement written on the back of an old copy of the Big Issue, the BABS (British Association of Beggars and Scroungers) announced that it could no longer take responsibility for its members actions.
Earlier this morning, a gr...

BIRMINGHAM, ENG. - After reports that the United States has killed Bin-Laden, many thought that the Taliban and Al-Qauda would fall.
However, they were mistaken.
Just a few hours ago, three separate bombs exploded in the British city of Birming...

BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless was captured by a rogue gang of chavs today, and was forced to live with them.
"Oh," he said. "MY GOD! I was away from my fricking mother! That sucks!"
He said that experience was harrowing.
"After two hours,...

Living in Britain as an ethnic minority (guess which one), it's kinda... well you know how. Luckily, for most of my life, I have not been on the receiving end of some treatment, but nonetheless, it is shocking to see something like this happen. Hell, it happened right on my lawn.
This is a conversation between a Liberal Democrat candidate, me, and my mother.
A backnote: He was canvassing fo...

BIRMINGHAM - After a long flight Lady Godiva got down from the plane, and met her friend Inhopeless.
After a short drive, both went into the city centre and into the Birmingham Rep Theatre.
Not suspicious you say?
Two hours later the two Spo...

BIRMINGHAM - A teenager - those evil youths - was found to be helping within his community today.
Rob Smith, 15, who is a teenager, and therefore a baby-eating monster - was helping an old lady across the road.
"He came up to me," recalled Dais...

Birmingham City Council have tonight issued a statement saying that they are banning the sale of Meerkat Carpets.
They say it is an outrage that the wool of the furry little creatures has been used in such a way. They also said they will be ban...

Alabama Governor Robert J. Bentley waited nearly half-an-hour after being sworn in to office before delivering a speech that alienated the entire state.
"Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're...

Rubbish Tip Island, off the North Coast of the EU$$R: England may have retained the Ashes in Cricket in Australia where there have been 'Biblical floods', but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish!
All over the British Isles in gardens...

BIRMINGHAM & LONDON - In a surprising move today, the BBC and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. will move their base of operation to the city of Birmingham.
Many other media outlets, such as ITV and EMI Music will also move.
"We're sick of London...

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