Trust the C of E to miss the point of Halloween

Par David Mitchell - 5 mn

Illustration by David Foldvari

Look, it was Halloween when I wrote this, so of course it’s about Halloween! Maybe you’ve forgotten but it was inescapable back then (at time of writing, now). Pumpkins, plastic spiders and spray-on cobwebs everywhere. Everyone changing their names online to include more “ooo”s or to otherwise rhyme with the cliches of terror. A fascist winning an election in Brazil . It’s a weird time.

OK, I know it’ll probably blow over. You, in the near yet unimaginable future of Sunday, may no longer be living in a society obsessed with the trappings of horror. But that’s not how it feels. It feels very very Halloweeny at the moment and I think it’s incredibly patronising of you to start bonking me on the head with your hindsight stick from the broad sunlit uplands of the day before a Catholic terrorist gets burned in effigy. Suddenly, that’s fine, is it?! Watching his face crackle to bits while you sip your outdoor soup, you hypocrites!