a new friend of mine, who i've spent solid chunks of time with over the past few weeks, remarked tonight that she'd just heard me laugh harder than she'd ever heard me before. "because you're just usually so quiet..."my heart sank.

even though my friend didn't at all mean something negative, or say anything hurtful, my heart still sank.

i consider myself to be fun, somewhat funny, mostly random and quirky. my facial expressions usually give me away, raise other people's eyebrows, and make others chuckle. i love to laugh. a lot. if i could be on an olympic laughing team, i would.

but maybe that's how i was and not how i am anymore. because this new friend, in all our recent interactions, hadn't really heard me laugh. that makes tears fill my eyes even now as i type this out.