If we win on Sunday we are only three points behind Arsenal. Their fixtures after they visit White Hart Lane consist of Chelsea (a) City (h) Everton (a). Our fixtures read as follows: Southampton (h) Liverpool (a) Sunderland (h).

LOL

Why do I do this to myself? Because I'm high. Very very high.

Absolutely no chance of a result if you base it on the evidence rather than deluded faith that suddenly everything will click into place. It might do. It might click into place, with the football and the tactical astuteness and the expressive brilliance from our magnificent players.

Ha, **** it, there I go again fusing fantasy with reality. Then again, they've not won at the Lane for a fair while. So very very high.

Regardless of lack of tactics, shape, players looking like they've switched off, no leadership or pride...there's still no excuse for Sunday. I'd transfer list anyone that bottles it. Basically, come the early evening - everybody.

Mentioned the other day how the past few seasons we've never gone into a WHL NLD not feeling confident. The club has lost all direction and has pretty much surrendered the season back before Andre Villas-Boas was sacked. It's stagnated since then and as I've alluded to, every game post-Sherwood appointment is an obstacle between now and our next reboot when we appoint a new coach for 2015.

The momentum has truly been lost. The downward spiral anchoring us to the realms of outsiders. Hate to be the plucky side that gets brushed aside. Nothing more patronising.

It's obviously not half as bad as it looks, but by the expectations of recent seasons it's frustrating to have engineered yet another drive into the ditch when the roads ahead were so clear of traffic. We've ballsed this up. We've forced a transition onto the club and sacrificed this season to the abyss of abominations. I'm sure we'll be just fine next season (another LOL, but think of how this under-achieving squad has kept in touch with the teams above them all season long without every daring to play with an ounce of excitement) but that doesn't mean I can forgive and forget how we as a club retain no concious effort to sustain continuity. Intelligence with the fiscal aspects, yet dumb and dumber with anything that unfolds on the field. Is it really as difficult as we make it look?

As for the derby...

Spurs, if you're going to let me down again please do so with at least displaying the remnants, the traits of a team that desires the glory. That's if we have any decent first teamers to select from if they're not all injured after the Benfica kicking. Is Jenas or van der Vaart available for a single game loan? Stick Kenny McEvoy in the side, anything to recapture the look of the past even if it doesn't quite match it.

This has been a season of detachment and disillusionment with the gap between us and the people that are nothing more than custodians of Tottenham growing wider by the week. We have never been made to feel more like consumer than we have this season. I know, bitching about modern football is just so 2012 but how can you shrug and accept it in silence? If you have no voice they won't hear you. At least if you have a voice others that think the same way will, even if ENIC still prefers to cover its ears.

The business of football is such that THFC will function thanks to what it sees as nameless thousands that will spend money on season tickets and merchandise. There is no true connection any more between the romanticised notion that the supporters are the football club. If you believe that then nothing will change. Not sure how our united voices will ever make a difference but it's the only way to retain an identity in the stands if the one on the field is struggling to impose itself.

I love this football club. Hairs on the back of my neck stand when I think of everything it's given me in all my years. Perspective would nod towards others less fortunate than us. Those that have had more success in some ways have had their experience tainted by the pressures of expectation that go beyond the type we have as perpetual chasers of dreams. I actually like sitting here, in purgatory. Although an occasional poking of the head into heaven would be nice. I'm sure we'd be escorted off the premises in no time at all.

Alternatively, I have no issues retaining my higher state of recreational conciousness until the summers end to numb any pain that manages to darken my heart. Hey, maybe next time we'll support the coach, sign the players he wants signed and then back him for longer than six months rather than just sit back and do nothing but indirectly help fragment his tenure whilst plotting to replace him with someone new.