Thanks to the opening of an adult boutique in our area featuring incredibly helpful staff, my wife and I recently started experimenting with S&M and bought some new regular toys as well. As a result, we now have a few whips, a prostate stimulator, a rabbit vibrator and a few other goodies hidden in our closet in a place where, we hope, our teenager will never find them.

When my folks passed away ten years ago, my brother’s wife came across a box of videos and toys when we were cleaning out their house, which caused a bit of embarrassment in the “more than we needed to know” way.

Do you have any suggestions as to how we can avoid this happening to our kid down the road? My main concern about our toys in question has to do with the S&M aspect, something that even mature adults might find a bit disturbing.

I’m thinking a note on the outside of our toybag to the extent that “If you are finding this bag it is because: a- You are snooping; or b- Something has happened to the two of us. If you are snooping- PUT THIS BAG BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT- we can talk about its contents and answer any question you have if you wish to do so. If something happened to us, please dispose of this bag without opening it. It contains items that we enjoyed during our intimate private times together and, as such, wish them to remain private.”

Dear Reader,

TOYS!! GLORY!!

I’m of the mindset that toys are nothing to be ashamed of – I keep mine out in a display case. When my daughter was 7, we had a talk about sex toys and she was glad to know grownups get to have toys! She has been raised to understand sex is to be explored and enjoyed and can be playful.

How do you feel about your parents having a sex life? Are you glad they did, or would you rather never know the evidence of such? Well guess what? YOU are evidence of their sex life! Was the discovery of the toys a bit embarrassing, or mortifying? In the grand scheme of things, was it a big deal? Not trying to dismiss your feelings on this highly personal matter, just offering an objective perspective.

That said, if you have a different mindset in that your bedroom activities are private and kept separate from other aspects of your life, then your approach is a great one! I love the idea of you stashing the toys with a note that offers a chance to discuss or dispose – it gives the finder options. The wording of your note is sweet and positive, very thoughtful of you!

There is this option for hiding personal items: The Sneaky Sack. It’s a bag that is easily disguised under hanging clothes. That way, you can keep your sex life safely in the closet.