Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Friday, May 29, 2009

While there is debate over the extent to which black Californian voters supported Proposition 8, polls consistently show that there is less support for marriage equality from African Americans than from other ethnic subgroups. While there are undoubtedly old and established cultural bases for antipathy towards homosexuality in general and marriage in particular, these can be overcome.

Part of the lack of support for equality among black voters may be due to a failure to craft the right message. But I believe that a large part was also due to a failure to use the resources that were available to reach and appeal to black voters.

Because while many black voters may not yet see the justice of our cause, many others who are leaders and influential in the Civil Rights movement, those who fought - and still fight - first hand against discrimination and indignity towards black Americans, are stepping forward to speak loudly on our behalf. They see the fight against discrimination to be their cause and they don’t see that fight stopping at the border of race or ethnic heritage.

Today we have two examples.

Julian Bond, the Chairman of the NAACP, sees a link between any effort to marginalize minorities and deny them rights others enjoy and a threat to the equal protection that all citizens should enjoy:

"My own marriage feels in no way threatened by gay marriage - any more than its interracial nature threatened those who made my union criminal until 1966. My marriage survived the interracial same-sex marriage I attended last weekend. The couple had legally married in Connecticut, but their hometown Virginia ceremony was witnessed by 200 friends and family, most of them Christians, including the grandfather of one partner who conducted it. It was a rebuke to those who base their opposition to marriage equality on the Bible. Let’s all pray that those who want to block access to the church sanctuary won’t continue to block access to city hall."

The California court has given new meaning to the song’s line “California here I come, right back where I started from.” California law is back where it started, to the detriment of us all.

What is at issue is the arbitrary denial of a civil rite to some - if that’s not a denial of civil rights, I don’t know what is.

But perhaps more impressive - on an individual level - than Bond’s support, is this report from the New York Times.

State Senator Shirley L. Huntley, a brassy, big-haired Democrat from Queens who opposes same-sex marriage, received a call on Wednesday that left her momentarily stunned.

Maya Angelou was on the line, and she wanted to know if the senator might reconsider her position.

I would have pooped.

In a telephone interview, Ms. Angelou, who has a home in Harlem, said she felt compelled to speak out because she believes that legalizing same-sex marriage is a matter of social fairness — a subject that has been a theme of her writing.

“I would ask every man and every woman who’s had the blessing of having children, ‘Would you deny your son or your daughter the ecstasy of finding someone to love?’ ” she said.

Ms. Angelou said she believed that society made gay relationships hard enough without the added burden of making marriage illegal.

Although Sen. Huntley still intends on voting to keep her own personal privileges and rights while denying them to her gay constituents, I am deeply grateful for Ms. Angelou’s efforts. Along with the efforts of Julian Bond and John Lewis and Coretta Scott King and Mildred Loving and Rev. Eric Lee and Rev. James Lawson and Rev. Peter Gomes and many many others in Black America who are willing to stand up and be known as supporters of equality, not only for race but for orientation as well.

These voices should not and cannot be ignored or underutilized in our efforts to win the hearts and minds of all Americans, not just the liberal white English-speaking ones.

*****

Until we who are GLBT people of color come out of the closet, those who oppose our equality can continue to succeed with lies that imprison us all and turn our own against us...

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Many GLBT activists are upset with the president and the lack of action on the promises he made to our community... While I agree that we must hold him to his promises and even call him out on them, I'm willing to give him time. He has a heavy load to bear and I think his silence on our issues while he works on those that are arguably larger, speaks to the fact that his promises to the GLBT community are still on his agenda.

While we have much to be proud of in Barack Obama as our president, Lori L. Jean, CEO of the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center did a great job of calling him to task on our issues on the occasion of his visit to California following the news on Proposition 8...

Dear President Obama:

Welcome to California, Mr. President.

I welcome you with a heavy heart because of the California Supreme Court’s decision to uphold Prop. 8, relegating same-sex couples to second class status and denying us that most noble promise of America, “liberty and justice for all.”

You are arriving in Los Angeles on the heels of emotional demonstrations throughout California and our nation and your silence at such a time speaks volumes. LGBT people and our allies have the ‘audacity to hope” for a country that treats us fairly and equally and for a President with the will to stand up for those ideals. From you we expect nothing less.

We know the country faces many serious challenges and we have strived to be patient. We’ve waited for the slightest sign you would live up to your promise to be a “fierce advocate” for our equal rights while watching gay and lesbian members of the armed forces, who have never been more needed, get discharged from the military. And so far you have done nothing. No stop loss order. No call to cease such foolish and discriminatory actions that make our nation less safe.

You pledged to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, Mr. President. You promised to support a “complete repeal” of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act and pledged to advocate for legislation that would give same-sex couples the 1,100+ federal rights and benefits we are denied, including the same rights to social security benefits. You said “Federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples.” What of those promises, Mr. President?

Your commitment to repeal DOMA has been removed from the White House website. Your promise to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was removed and then replaced with a watered-down version. And in the aftermath of yesterday’s California Supreme Court ruling, you have remained silent while your press secretary summarily dismisses questions about the issue.

We not only need to hear from our President, we need his action. And we need it now. We need your words, Mr. President. But we also need your deeds. We expect you to fulfill the promises you made to us. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. taught us, “Justice too long delayed is justice denied.” Do not delay, Mr. President. The time for action is now.

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Although its not "happy" news from California today, the California Supreme Court made the only right and just decision which it could... Nevertheless, I am wholly confident that as Dr. King said, "...the arc of the universe bends towards justice..." Just as in the struggle for the civil rights of people of color, there will be setbacks in the battle for the civil rights of LBGT people as well, but WE WILL overcome them. The LBGT community will do as my mother so often admonished me when she'd say, "Take every knock and make it a boost..." From this loss will come a ground swell of support for righting the injustice of LBGT discrimination.

SAN FRANCISCO – The California Supreme Court upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage Tuesday, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.

Demonstrators outside the court yelled "shame on you!"

The 6-1 decision written by Chief Justice Ron George rejected an argument by gay rights activists that the ban revised the California Constitution's equal protection clause to such a dramatic degree that it first needed the Legislature's approval.

The court said the Californians have a right, through the ballot box, to change their constitution.

"In a sense, petitioners' and the attorney general's complaint is that it is just too easy to amend the California Constitution through the initiative process. But it is not a proper function of this court to curtail that process; we are constitutionally bound to uphold it," the ruling said.

The justices said the 136-page majority ruling does not speak to whether they agree with Proposition 8 or "believe it should be a part of the California Constitution."

They said they were "limited to interpreting and applying the principles and rules embodied in the California Constitution, setting aside our own personal beliefs and values."

The announcement of the decision set off an outcry among a sea of demonstrators who had gathered in front of the San Francisco courthouse awaiting the ruling. Holding signs and many waving rainbow flags, they yelled "shame on you." Many people also held hands in a chain around an intersection in an act of protest.

Gay rights activists immediately promised to resume their fight, saying they would go back to voters as early as next year in a bid to repeal Proposition 8.

The split decision provided some relief for the 18,000 gay couples who married in the brief time same-sex marriage was legal last year but that wasn't enough to dull the anger over the ruling that banned gay marriage.

"It's not about whether we get to stay married. Our fight is far from over," said Jeannie Rizzo, 62, who was one of the lead plaintiffs along with her wife, Polly Cooper. "I have about 20 years left on this earth, and I'm going to continue to fight for equality every day."

Also in the crowd gathered at City Hall, near the courthouse, were Sharon Papo, 30, and Amber Weiss, 32, who were married on the first day gay marriage was legal last year, June 17.

"We're relieved our marriage was not invalidated, but this is a hollow victory because there are so many that are not allowed to marry those they love," Weiss said.

"I feel very uncomfortable being in a special class of citizens," Papo said.

The state Supreme Court had ruled last May that it was unconstitutional to deny gay couples the right to wed. Many same-sex couples had rushed to get married before the November vote on Proposition 8, fearing it could be passed. When it was, gay rights activists went back to the court arguing that the ban was improperly put to voters and amounted to a revision — which required legislative approval — not an amendment.

That was the issue justices decided Tuesday.

"After comparing this initiative measure to the many other constitutional changes that have been reviewed and evaluated in numerous prior decisions of this court, we conclude Proposition 8 constitutes a constitutional amendment rather than a constitutional revision," the ruling said.

Justice Carlos Moreno wrote the dissenting opinion disagreeing that the proposition did not change the constitution's equal protection clause. He said the law denying same-sex couples the right to wed "strikes at the core of the promise of equality that underlies our California Constitution." He said it represents a "drastic and far-reaching change."

"Promising equal treatment to some is fundamentally different from promising equal treatment for all," said Moreno, who had been mentioned as a possible contender for the U.S. Supreme Court. "Promising treatment that is almost equal is fundamentally different from ensuring truly equal treatment."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Monday, May 25, 2009

"...from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

For Gay Couples, Married Matters Most say they feel more committed, accepted by peers

By Stephen Smith, Globe Staff May 24, 2009

Five years after the first same-sex weddings in Massachusetts, gay and lesbian couples express deeply traditional reasons for deciding to wed and cite equally conventional benefits flowing from marriage, according to a study being released this week.

A significant majority of the 558 gay men and women surveyed said that since marrying, they feel more committed to their spouses, more accepted in their community, and more likely to be open about their sexual orientation at work.

The survey indicates that there is something universal about the legal protections and social advantages afforded by the institution of marriage, said the study's authors from the University of California, Los Angeles as well as independent researchers. And it suggests, they said, that a ritual once scorned even by many same-sex couples has the power to ease discrimination.

"This really helps us confirm and makes us understand why same-sex couples demand marriage - if it's just about the legal rights, why wouldn't they be happy with civil partnerships?" said Stephanie Coontz author of "Marriage, A History."

"They want access to that word that is so highly valued by our society and by other people.

"It is one thing not to invite your child's girlfriend or boyfriend to dinner," said Coontz, a professor at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash. "It is quite another thing not to invite the spouse."

Same-sex marriages began in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004, after the Supreme Judicial Court declared that gay and lesbian couples had the right to wed. The ruling ignited a political and social maelstrom in Massachusetts and beyond, but since then four other states - Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, and Vermont - have extended marriage rights to same-sex couples. Lawmakers in New Hampshire are currently debating whether to make their state the next to do so.

The study was prepared and paid for by UCLA's Williams Institute, which examines legal and public policy issues related to sexual orientation and is funded by foundations and individuals, including supporters of gay marriage.

The authors of the survey, which consisted of about 30 questions, said they regarded it as an initial assessment of gay marriage, largely designed to explore issues arising during public debate rather than to delve into more personal aspects of couples' relationships. For example, researchers asked whether respondents' children had faced taunting as a result of their parents' same-sex marriage - only 5 percent had - but did not ask how happily married partners were.

"We've been interested in the impact of marriage for a long time," said Lee Badgett, researcher director of the Williams Institute and senior author of the study. "I've been combing the universe for data, but there just aren't that many places to look at same-sex couples who are literally married."

The marriage questions were included in a larger online health survey conducted this month by the state Department of Public Health. The agency found potential respondents through a database maintained by the gay rights group MassEquality, which includes donors as well as people identified as being in same-sex marriages, and invitations to participate were e-mailed. About 4 percent responded.

Those surveyed were not a randomly selected population - something that would have been far more costly and difficult to accomplish - so the findings are not representative of the more than 12,000 gay married couples in Massachusetts. But Coontz and a Wellesley College researcher, Michelle Porche, praised it as a robust, well-executed study.

Virtually all of the married men and women who responded - 93 percent - said "love and commitment" were the prime factors in their decision to wed.

Marriage appears to have forged stronger ties between spouses and their families and even colleagues on the job. When asked whether marriage had created a stronger bond with their partners, nearly three-quarters said it had. And families, the gay couples said, reacted with overwhelming acceptance of their marriage: 82 percent said their parents responded positively, while 91 percent indicated siblings were receptive.

Eight of 10 study participants said that being married made them more likely to disclose their sexual orientation to their coworkers and doctors.

"That suggests there's something powerful about that ritual, about that institution," Badgett said. "People feel more accepted by society."

Porche, a senior research scientist at the Wellesley Centers for Women, said the findings mirror those of a smaller, although more intensive, study she conducted by interviewing couples not long after gay marriage was legalized.

"Studies like these help us from afar to get to know people a little bit better," Porche said. "The more people who have reservations about gay marriage can really meet married same-sex couples and get to know them and their experience, the more they would be open to supporting" the right to marry.

Still, advocates on both sides of the gay marriage debate remain starkly divided in their beliefs.

Kris Mineau, a leader of the failed effort to place a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage on the ballot in Massachusetts, said he remained convinced that voters should have the final say on who has the right to marry. And, he said, he has not wavered.

"There's nothing in that poll that suggests to me any reason why marriage should be changed summarily to meet the personal desires of a small segment of the population," said Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute. "I see no reason to do this unless the entire population agrees this is in the best interest of our society."

Scott Gortikov, executive director of MassEquality, said the study's findings suggest that the benefits of same-sex marriage extend beyond the couple.

"What the results are saying is that equal marriage makes for a healthier and happier family life and, necessarily, a healthier and happier and more solid society," Gortikov said.

Jonathan Scott and Mike McGuill had been a couple for a decade when, on Aug. 1, 2006, they awakened and headed to the Pilgrim Monument with their young son and two friends, who'd met them for breakfast. "I said, 'Before our scrambled eggs, we're going to get married, I hope that's OK with you,' " Scott recalled.

His mother, Scott said, was married five times, so he'd grown up with a well-honed skepticism. But as his relationship with McGuill deepened and they adopted their son, marriage appeared to provide indispensable legal protection to them as a couple and as parents, said Scott, who participated in the survey.

"And yet, what happened as we were getting married, it was an experience I'd never had before," said Scott, chief executive of Victory Programs, which helps substance abusers in Boston. "I was so moved at just being in the presence of someone I'd been with 10 years, talking about our love together and our commitment to each other."

At family gatherings, McGuill felt a keen sense of difference when he watched his married brothers and sisters - until that August morning three years ago.

"Now, I have what they have," said McGuill, a veterinarian. "I have a marriage. Getting married, there's nothing revolutionary about it - it's something you do with the person you love."

From our days in Sunday school, many of us are familiar with the Gospel story where Jesus healed the servant of a Roman centurion. This story is recorded in Matthew 8:5-13 and Luke 7:1-10. In Matthew, we are told that the centurion came to Jesus to plead for the healing of his servant. Jesus said he was willing to come to the centurion’s house, but the centurion said there was no need for Jesus to do so — he believed that if Jesus simply spoke the word, his servant would be healed. Marveling at the man’s faith, Jesus pronounced the servant healed. Luke tells a similar story.

Just another miracle story, right? Not on your life!

The Bible provides three key pieces of textual and circumstantial evidence. First, in the Luke passage, several additional Greek words are used to describe the one who is sick. Luke says this pais was the centurion’s entimos doulos. The word doulos is a generic term for slave, and was never used in ancient Greek to describe a son/boy. Thus, Luke’s account rules out the possibility the sick person was the centurion’s son; his use of doulos makes clear this was a slave. However, Luke also takes care to indicate this was no ordinary slave. The word entimos means “honored.” This was an “honored slave” (entimos doulos) who was his master’s pais. Taken together, the three Greek words preclude the possibility the sick person was either the centurion’s son or an ordinary slave, leaving only one viable option — he was his master’s male lover. (See note 20.)

A second piece of evidence is found in verse 9 of Matthew’s account. In the course of expressing his faith in Jesus’ power to heal by simply speaking, the centurion says, “When I tell my slave to do something, he does it.” By extension, the centurion concludes that Jesus is also able to issue a remote verbal command that must be carried out. When speaking here of his slaves, the centurion uses the word doulos. But when speaking of the one he is asking Jesus to heal, he uses only pais. In other words, when he is quoted in Matthew, the centurion uses pais only when referring to the sick person. He uses a different word, doulos, when speaking of his other slaves, as if to draw a distinction. (In Luke, it is others, not the centurion, who call the sick one an entimos doulos.) Again, the clear implication is that the sick man was no ordinary slave. And when pais was used to describe a servant who was not an ordinary slave, it meant only one thing — a slave who was the master’s male lover.

The third piece of evidence is circumstantial. In the Gospels, we have many examples of people seeking healing for themselves or for family members. But this story is the only example of someone seeking healing for a slave. The actions described are made even more remarkable by the fact that this was a proud Roman centurion (the conqueror/oppressor) who was humbling himself and pleading with a Jewish rabbi (the conquered/oppressed) to heal his slave. The extraordinary lengths to which this man went to seek healing for his slave is much more understandable, from a psychological perspective, if the slave was his beloved companion.

Thus, all the textual and circumstantial evidence in the Gospels points in one direction. For objective observers, the conclusion is inescapable: In this story Jesus healed a man’s male lover. When understood this way, the story takes on a whole new dimension.

Imagine how it may have happened. While stationed in Palestine, the centurion’s pais becomes ill — experiencing some type of life-threatening paralysis. The centurion will stop at nothing to save him. Perhaps a friend tells him of rumors of Jesus’ healing powers. Perhaps this friend also tells him Jesus is unusually open to foreigners, teaching his followers that they should love their enemies, even Roman soldiers. So the centurion decides to take a chance. Jesus was his only hope.

As he made his way to Jesus, he probably worried about the possibility that Jesus, like other Jewish rabbis, would take a dim view of his homosexual relationship. Perhaps he even considered lying. He could simply use the word duolos. That would have been accurate, as far as it went. But the centurion probably figured if Jesus was powerful enough to heal his lover, he was also powerful enough to see through any half-truths.

So the centurion approaches Jesus and bows before him. “Rabbi, my . . . ,” the word gets caught in his throat. This is it — the moment of truth. Either Jesus will turn away in disgust, or something wonderful will happen. So, the centurion clears his throat and speaks again. “Rabbi, my pais — yes, my pais lies at home sick unto death.” Then he pauses and waits for a second that must have seemed like an eternity. The crowd of good, God-fearing people surrounding Jesus probably became tense. This was like a gay man asking a televangelist to heal his lover. What would Jesus do?

Without hesitation, Jesus says, “Then I will come and heal him.”It’s that simple! Jesus didn’t say, “Are you kidding? I’m not going to heal your pais so you can go on living in sin!” Nor did he say, “Well, it shouldn’t surprise you that your pais is sick; this is God’s judgment on your relationship.”

Instead, Jesus’ words are simple, clear, and liberating for all who have worried about what God thinks of gay relationships. “I will come and heal him.”

At this point, the centurion says there is no need for Jesus to travel to his home. He has faith that Jesus’ word is sufficient. Jesus then turns to the good people standing around him — those who were already dumbfounded that he was willing to heal this man’s male lover. To them, Jesus says in verse 10 of Matthew’s account, “I have not found faith this great anywhere in Israel.” In other words, Jesus holds up this gay centurion as an example of the type of faith others should aspire to.

Jesus didn’t just tolerate this gay centurion. He said he was an example of faith — someone we all should strive to be like.

Then, just so the good, God-fearing people wouldn’t miss his point, Jesus speaks again in verse 11: “I tell you, many will come from the east and the west [i.e., beyond the borders of Israel] to find a seat in the kingdom of heaven, while the heirs [i.e., those considered likely to inherit heaven] will be thrown into outer darkness.” By this statement Jesus affirmed that many others like this gay centurion — those who come from beyond the assumed boundaries of God’s grace — are going to be admitted to the kingdom of heaven. And he also warned that many who think themselves the most likely to be admitted will be left out.

In this story, Jesus restores a gay relationship by a miracle of healing and then holds up a gay man as an example of faith for all to follow. So consider carefully: Who is Lord — Jesus or cultural prejudice?

20. For an excellent and thorough discussion of the terms pais and entimos doulos in these two gospel accounts, see Donald Mader’s article The Entimos Pais of Matthew 8:5-13 and Luke 7:1-10, (Source: Homosexuality and Religion and Philosophy, Harland Publishing, Inc., New York, 1998).

The Good Book by Rev. Peter Gomes Some people idolize the Bible, and others discount it. Rev. Gomes does neither. This thoughtful book describes the nature of Bible abuse in the church throughout history, and proposes a way to read the Bible without neglecting either its Divine inspiration or its cultural context.

Virtually Normal by Andrew Sullivan Writer, blogger, and gay Catholic, Andrew Sullivan analyzes the politics of the homosexuality debate. His ideas are sure to give both sides something to think about.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Desperado The Eagles
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet
Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day

You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Because I'm thinking of Stephen Christopher Harris"Fear Eats the Soul"

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Surprised by joy—impatient as the WindI turned to share the transport—Oh! with whomBut Thee, deep buried in the silent tomb,That spot which no vicissitude can find?Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind—But how could I forget thee? Through what power,Even for the least division of an hour,Have I been so beguiled as to be blindTo my most grievous loss?—That thought's returnWas the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;That neither present time, nor years unbornCould to my sight that heavenly face restore.

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

In today's excerpt - Jonah Lehrer proposes thatmorality is a form of decision-making, and is basedon emotions, not logic:

"Psychopaths shed light on a crucial subset ofdecision-making that's referred to as morality. Moralitycan be a squishy, vague concept, and yet, at itssimplest level, it's nothing but a series of choicesabout how we treat other people. When you act in amoral manner - when you recoil from violence, treatothers fairly, and help strangers in need - you aremaking decisions that take people besides yourselfinto account. You are thinking about the feelings ofothers, sympathizing with their states of mind.

"This is what psychopaths can't do. ... They aremissing the primal emotional cues that the rest of ususe as guides when making moral decisions. Thepsychopath's brain is bored by expressions of terror.The main problem seems to be a broken amygdala, abrain area responsible for propagating aversiveemotions such as fear and anxiety. As a result,psychopaths never feel bad when they make otherpeople feel bad. ... Hurting someone else is justanother way of getting what he wants, a perfectlyreasonable way to satisfy desires. The absence ofemotion makes the most basic moral conceptsincomprehensible. G. K. Chesterton was right: 'Themadman is not the man who has lost his reason. Themadman is the man who has lost everything excepthis reason.'

"At first glance, the connection between morality andthe emotions might be a little unnerving. Moraldecisions are supposed to rest on a firm logical andlegal foundation. Doing the right thing means carefullyweighing competing claims, like a dispassionatejudge. These aspirations have a long history. Theluminaries of the Enlightenment, such as Leibniz andDescartes, tried to construct a moral system entirelyfree of feelings. Immanuel Kant argued that doing theright thing was merely a consequence of actingrationally. Immorality, he said, was a result of illogic. ...The modern legal system still subscribes to thisantiquated set of assumptions and pardons anybodywho demonstrates a 'defect in rationality' - thesepeople are declared legally insane, since the rationalbrain is supposedly responsible for distinguishingbetween right and wrong. If you can't reason, then youshouldn't be punished.

"But all of these old conceptions of morality are basedon a fundamental mistake. Neuroscience can nowsee the substrate of moral decisions, and there'snothing rational about it. 'Moral judgment is likeaesthetic judgment,' writes Jonathan Haidt, apsychologist at the University of Virginia. 'When yousee a painting, you usually know instantly andautomatically whether you like it. If someone asks youto explain your judgment, you confabulate ... Moralarguments are much the same: Two people feelstrongly about an issue, their feelings come first, andtheir reasons are invented on the fly, to throw at eachother.'

"Kant and his followers thought the rational brainacted like a scientist: we used reason to arrive at anaccurate view of the world. This meant that moralitywas based on objective values; moral judgmentsdescribed moral facts. But the mind doesn't work thisway. When you are confronted with an ethicaldilemma, the unconscious automatically generatesan emotional reaction. (This is what psychopaths can'tdo.) Within a few milliseconds, the brain has made upits mind; you know what is right and what is wrong.These moral instincts aren't rational. ...

"It's only after the emotions have already made themoral decision that those rational circuits in theprefrontal cortex are activated. People come up withpersuasive reasons to justify their moral intuition.When it comes to making ethical decisions, humanrationality isn't a scientist, it's a lawyer. This innerattorney gathers bits of evidence, post hocjustifications, and pithy rhetoric in order to make theautomatic reaction seem reasonable. But thisreasonableness is just a facade, an elaborate self-delusion. Benjamin Franklin said it best in hisautobiography: 'So convenient a thing it is to be areasonable creature, since it enables one to find ormake a reason for everything one has a mind todo.'

"In other words, our standard view of morality - thephilosophical consensus for thousands of years - hasbeen exactly backward. We've assumed that our moraldecisions are the byproducts of rational thought, thathumanity's moral rules are founded in such things asthe Ten Commandments and Kant's categoricalimperative. Philosophers and theologians havespilled lots of ink arguing about the precise logic ofcertain ethical dilemmas. But these arguments missthe central reality of moral decisions, which is thatlogic and legality have little to do withanything."

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I FLED Him, down the nights and down the days;I fled Him, down the arches of the years;I fled Him, down the labyrinthine waysOf my own mind; and in the mist of tearsI hid from Him, and under running laughter.Up vistaed hopes I sped;And shot, precipitated,Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears,From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.But with unhurrying chase,And unperturbèd pace,Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,They beat—and a Voice beatMore instant than the Feet—‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.’

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,By many a hearted casement, curtained red,Trellised with intertwining charities;(For, though I knew His love Who followèd,Yet was I sore adreadLest, having Him, I must have naught beside).But, if one little casement parted wide,The gust of His approach would clash it to.Fear wist not to evade, as Love wist to pursue.Across the margent of the world I fled,And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,Smiting for shelter on their clangèd bars;Fretted to dulcet jarsAnd silvern chatter the pale ports o’ the moon.I said to Dawn: Be sudden—to Eve: Be soon;With thy young skiey blossoms heap me overFrom this tremendous Lover—Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!I tempted all His servitors, but to findMy own betrayal in their constancy,In faith to Him their fickleness to me,Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,The long savannahs of the blue;Or whether, Thunder-driven,They clanged his chariot ’thwart a heaven,Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o’ their feet:—Fear wist not to evade as Love wist to pursue.Still with unhurrying chase,And unperturbèd pace,Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,Came on the following Feet,And a Voice above their beat—‘Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me.’

I sought no more that after which I strayedIn face of man or maid;But still within the little children’s eyesSeems something, something that replies,They at least are for me, surely for me!I turned me to them very wistfully;But just as their young eyes grew sudden fairWith dawning answers there,Their angel plucked them from me by the hair.‘Come then, ye other children, Nature’s—shareWith me’ (said I) ‘your delicate fellowship;Let me greet you lip to lip,Let me twine with you caresses,WantoningWith our Lady-Mother’s vagrant tresses,BanquetingWith her in her wind-walled palace,Underneath her azured daïs,Quaffing, as your taintless way is,From a chaliceLucent-weeping out of the dayspring.’So it was done:I in their delicate fellowship was one—Drew the bolt of Nature’s secrecies.I knew all the swift importingsOn the wilful face of skies;I knew how the clouds ariseSpumèd of the wild sea-snortings;All that’s born or diesRose and drooped with; made them shapersOf mine own moods, or wailful or divine;With them joyed and was bereaven.I was heavy with the even,When she lit her glimmering tapersRound the day’s dead sanctities.I laughed in the morning’s eyes.I triumphed and I saddened with all weather,Heaven and I wept together,And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;Against the red throb of its sunset-heartI laid my own to beat,And share commingling heat;But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.In vain my tears were wet on Heaven’s grey cheek.For ah! we know not what each other says,These things and I; in sound I speak—Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.Nature, poor stepdame, cannot slake my drouth;Let her, if she would owe me,Drop yon blue bosom-veil of sky, and show meThe breasts o’ her tenderness:Never did any milk of hers once blessMy thirsting mouth.Nigh and nigh draws the chase,With unperturbèd pace,Deliberate speed, majestic instancy;And past those noisèd FeetA voice comes yet more fleet—‘Lo! naught contents thee, who content’st not Me!’Naked I wait Thy love’s uplifted stroke!My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,And smitten me to my knee;I am defenceless utterly.I slept, methinks, and woke,And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.In the rash lustihead of my young powers,I shook the pillaring hoursAnd pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,I stand amid the dust o’ the mounded years—My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.Yea, faileth now even dreamThe dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twistI swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,Are yielding; cords of all too weak accountFor earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.Ah! is Thy love indeedA weed, albeit an amaranthine weed,Suffering no flowers except its own to mount?Ah! must—Designer infinite!—Ah! must Thou char the wood ere Thou canst limn with it?My freshness spent its wavering shower i’ the dust;And now my heart is as a broken fount,Wherein tear-drippings stagnate, spilt down everFrom the dank thoughts that shiverUpon the sighful branches of my mind.Such is; what is to be?The pulp so bitter, how shall taste the rind?I dimly guess what Time in mists confounds;Yet ever and anon a trumpet soundsFrom the hid battlements of Eternity;Those shaken mists a space unsettle, thenRound the half-glimpsèd turrets slowly wash again.But not ere him who summonethI first have seen, enwoundWith glooming robes purpureal, cypress-crowned;His name I know, and what his trumpet saith.Whether man’s heart or life it be which yieldsThee harvest, must Thy harvest-fieldsBe dunged with rotten death?

Now of that long pursuitComes on at hand the bruit;That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:‘And is thy earth so marred,Shattered in shard on shard?Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!Strange, piteous, futile thing!Wherefore should any set thee love apart?Seeing none but I makes much of naught’ (He said),‘And human love needs human meriting:How hast thou merited—Of all man’s clotted clay the dingiest clot?Alack, thou knowest notHow little worthy of any love thou art!Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee,Save Me, save only Me?All which I took from thee I did but take,Not for thy harms,But just that thou might’st seek it in My arms.All which thy child’s mistakeFancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home:Rise, clasp My hand, and come!’Halts by me that footfall:Is my gloom, after all,Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?‘Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,I am He Whom thou seekest!Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me.’

*****

"The name is strange. It startles one at first. It is so bold, so new, so fearless. It does not attract, rather the reverse. But when one reads the poem this strangeness disappears. The meaning is understood. As the hound follows the hare, never ceasing in its running, ever drawing nearer in the chase, with unhurrying and imperturbed pace, so does God follow the fleeing soul by His Divine grace. And though in sin or in human love, away from God it seeks to hide itself, Divine grace follows after, unwearyingly follows ever after, till the soul feels its pressure forcing it to turn to Him alone in that never ending pursuit."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Monday, May 18, 2009

This column hits the internet around my fortieth birthday. Forgive a middle-aged columnist for indulging in some reminiscing.

Little reminders of my age keep creeping up, like the fact that I had to re-word the last sentence after initially writing “This column hits the newsstands…” My column used to appear in print (and still does, in some markets). At least I’ve learned to say “music store” instead of “record store,” though I don’t think I’ve purchased a record since 6th grade. (It was Billy Joel’s Glass Houses.) And even saying “music store” probably dates me.

When I came out at 19, there was no internet. Usually, we met other gays by going to gay bars—when we could find them. When traveling, I’d grab the local phone book (remember those?) and hope to locate something under “Gay,” “Lambda” or “Rainbow.” Then I’d look for a pay phone.

If the telephone search didn’t work, I had an alternate method. I’d go to the nearest mall and find a Gap, where nine times out of ten I could spot a gay salesclerk. (Yes it’s a stereotype, but it was a useful one at the time.) I would chat him up so he would fill me in on the local scene—no joking. Who needs gaydar.com when you have plain old-fashioned gaydar?

Reflecting on ways the world has changed during my life, I feel a bit like my grandfather when he talks about when gas was 20 cents a gallon. (Did I mention that, after locating the gay bar, I would walk 10 miles to get there, uphill, both ways?)

Like my grandfather, I do find myself occasionally referring to “these kids today.”

As a college professor, I know many of these “kids” as students. When I started teaching, I wasn’t much older than they. Blessed with a youthful countenance, I could easily be mistaken for their peer. (And yes, the photo accompanying this column is recent.) Now I’m old enough to be their dad—something I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around.

I am both awed and pleased by some of the ways in which their lives will differ from mine. Mainly, I’m filled with gratitude.

Most of these kids don’t know what it’s like to start a gay and lesbian group at schools that don’t have one, and then watch as all of their flyers get either torn down or scribbled with words like “faggot.” I’m grateful that such frequent ugliness has become the exception rather than the rule in America.

Most of these kids don’t know what it’s like to live in a world where, in most people’s minds, gay=AIDS=death. I came out in 1988. AZT was just becoming available, and protease inhibitors were some time off. I watched friends and acquaintances die with alarming speed. I’m grateful that most of today’s youth don’t know that horror—although I wish they would take more care with their sexual choices.

These kids live in a world where, in a handful of places, they can marry whom they love. Seeing this as possible, those in the other places can hope for, and work for, change. I’m grateful for that progress.

I’m grateful that gay sex is no longer criminal in any U.S. state—though grieved that it still warrants the death penalty in parts of the world. For seven years of my adult life I lived in a state where homosexual sodomy was criminal. I cried tears of gratitude when that changed, thanks to the Supreme Court’s Lawrence v. Texas decision in 2003.

I know that there’s much work left to be done, and I’m grateful to be a part of that work.

I’m grateful for readers from around the world who send me words of encouragement. I’m grateful for family and friends who have supported me. And I’m grateful for my partner Mark, who has been the love of my life for the last seven-and-a-half years. He, more than anyone else, makes me look forward to the next forty.

All in all, it’s a good world out there, which makes growing older something to embrace.

*************************************

John Corvino, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays on 365gay.com.

For more about John Corvino, or to see clips from his “What’s Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?” DVD, visit http://www.johncorvino.com/.

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave
So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word that they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us, if we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us, but demand we give our all

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I would fight for you, would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I really love movies, they’ve been my “great escape,” especially when life was not going well and my mind was troubled or whenever I was lamenting being sad and alone. In fact, for most of my life, going to the movies was one of the few things I’d do by myself without it troubling me that I was alone. Although I was always mindful of all the couples in the theater with me, I’d look on them and for brief moments live vicariously through them, imagining that I too was there with someone I loved in the shared darkness of the auditorium. But then when Stephen came into my life, suddenly the experience of going to the movies took on a new dimension… Finally, I knew why people go as couples, and it was as wonderful as I had imagined it to be. So now, I can’t bear the thought of going alone, I’m haunted by the memories of being beside him, feeling the warmth of him whom I loved next to me… feeling his hand brush against mine… laughing with him, sharing all the emotions that the movies evoke.

Going to the movies and sometimes to dinner was about the only thing Stephen and I ever did that was like a “date.” Many times I wanted us to do more “couple things” like going to the museum (which we did once here in Detroit), or to a concert or just to look at the Christmas lights during the holidays. But Stephen didn’t want to do those things; he only wanted to stay at home when we were together, although he did things on his own and with others while I waited for him. But on those nights when we were together I always tried to make the best of it. I would make those nights a date for us… I’d cook wonderful meals for him, make his favorite snacks and drinks and hold him in my arms for hours as he slept in my lap in front of the television. Most of the time, I felt like the best kept secret in his life. In three years, I was introduced to just two of his friends. After a while, he didn’t even want to go to the movies or out to dinner much, but I didn’t care, I loved him and wanted him to be happy… whatever he wanted became what I wanted.

Last September, a film called “Fireproof” came out and I knew it was something we needed to see together… I realized it would help him understand what was missing in our relationship. I suggested we go see it many times, but he wouldn’t agree to go with me. One night, when I was angry with him, I went by myself and I discovered just as I thought, that although the film wasn’t written for us (SGL couples), it was nevertheless about us too. I knew if Stephen could see it, he’d realize how we needed to change to be happy. For nearly a month, I literally begged him to go see it with me. I even asked him to go see it alone. He refused and he never did… That he could refuse me such a small thing was very hurtful and it crushed my spirit. He would say, “I love you,” and in the next breath deny me such trivial things that could bring me happiness… I never understood that. Now, as I’m lying here alone in the bed we shared, I can remember every film we saw together, including the one’s I didn’t want to see but happily went along to because he wanted to see them. I sometimes feel like my life with Stephen Christopher Harris has been like a bad movie, the kind you walk out on halfway through… and more than once, I’ve nearly “walked out,” on life that is...

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Once or twice a little leaf was heard to cry andsigh, as leaves often do, when a gentle wind is blowing.And the twig said, "What is the matter, little leaf?"

"The wind," said the leaf, "just told me that oneday it would pull me off, and throw me on theground to die."

The twig told it to the branch, and the branchtold it to the tree. When the tree heard it, it rustledall over, and sent word back to the trembling leaf.

"Do not be afraid," it said; "hold on tight, andyou shall not go off till you are ready."

So the leaf stopped sighing, and went onsinging and rustling. It grew all the summer long tillOctober. And when the bright days of autumn came,the leaf saw all the leaves around growing very beautiful.

Some were yellow, some were brown, andmany were striped with different colors. Then theleaf asked the tree what this meant.

The tree said, "All these leaves are gettingready to fly away, and they have put on these colorsbecause of their joy."

Then the little leaf began to want to go, andgrew very beautiful in thinking of it. When it wasgay in colors, it saw that the branches of the treehad no bright colors on them.

So the leaf said, "O branch! why are you leadcoloredwhile we are all beautiful and golden?"

"We must keep on our working clothes," saidthe tree, "for our work is not yet done; but yourclothes are for holidays, because your task is now over."

Just then a little puff of wind came, and theleaf let go without thinking, and the wind took it upand turned it over and over.

Then it fell gently down under the edge of thefence, among hundreds of leaves, and has neverwaked to tell us what it dreamed about.

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