This much I know

I had a calling to be 'queer' like other people have a calling to be a priest. I came out to my family when I was 15, but because of Culture Club I waited to come out to the world until I was in my 20s. It was surprising that people didn't suss it out, I mean, were they blind?

Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you organic vegetables.

The great thing about therapy is the fact that it's an opportunity to talk to someone intelligent and objective for an hour. If anyone had told me 10 years ago that I would end up in therapy I'd have laughed in their face. The best sessions are the ones when you think you haven't got a care in the world. That's when you end up in buckets of tears trying to piece your life back together.

The bible is useful for doing the Alexander Technique. I always use it in hotels.

One night stands always lead to disappointment. The next day you've got that little skip in your step, then there's no phone call and you're in the depths of despair. It's similar to when I stop for a spring onion and cheese baguette on the motorway. I know it will mess up my macrobiotic diet, but sometimes I succumb.

Every freak has a mother. When I met Marilyn Manson I was struck by how nice he was. People are rarely as weird as you anticipate. Except for Courtney Love who reminded me of that mad snake in The Jungle Book.

The more you push towards assimilation, the more you sacrifice. The gay community is on this constant drive towards assimilation resulting in an incredible loss of individuality. Everyone becomes part of a boring, homogeneous group. As soon as that happens, people have a label to pin on you and you become a target.

Elton John doing a duet with Eminem is like me singing with Pol Pot. Eminem's homophobic lyrics legitimise words like 'fag', which I've heard shouted more times this year than in the past decade, and put them back on the map. I think Elton John sang with him because he's so desperate to be hip rather than out of malice. But that's what happens when you live in a cultural bubble, full of flowers.

It was easy to shock people in the 80s. You just had to dress up.

Believe me, the men who shout the loudest about being straight are the ones who like to be fucked the hardest. The words 'gay' and 'straight' are pretty lazy anyway. When I see ex partners now married with kids, proclaiming they're straight, it doesn't really add up. The terminology is irrelevant because everyone is confused about their sexuality.

Sex and intimacy are very different things. In fact sex can become a way of avoiding intimacy because you become locked in a physical battle and don't have to deal with any other parts of the relationship.

People are definitely attracted to power. But I've developed a kind of radar so I can tell immediately whether someone's flirting with me because they think I could be useful to them or whether it's genuine.

There was a logic to punk. It was properly thought through unlike like the nu-metal bands coming out of the US at the moment. That's just misplaced anger.

Why go looking for a hamburger when you've got steak in the fridge? I listen to George Michael going on about his open relationships and I just think, 'pass me another cliché'.

Just because someone is paying you a wage, it doesn't mean they can speak to you like you're an idiot. I grew up with a terrible loathing of authority which began with my father. If anyone was rude to me in a job, I just used to walk out. If I wanted to be talked to like I was an idiot, I could get that at home.

Jealousy pushes love away. It's a self-perpetuating nightmare because you think someone else is going to take them away and it usually happens. My jealousy has a lot to do with my father, but I don't seem to be able to curb it.

Failure doesn't kill you. It just feels like it's going to, like when you split up with someone.

About this article

This much I know

This article appeared on p8 of the Observer Magazine section of the Observer
on Saturday 17 August 2002.
It was published on
the Guardian website
at 11.41 EDT on Sunday 18 August 2002.
It was last modified at 11.41 EST on Wednesday 7 December 2005.
It was first published at 11.41 EST on Wednesday 7 December 2005.