8/27/2007

Live Champagne Blogging the Alberto Gonzales Resignation Announcement and Coverage:10:31: Why did Gonzales do it now? What confluence of evidence, expediency, and soul-sickness led him to either be released from his blood oath or to tell Bush to "fuck off" at last? Was it the loss of the musk of Karl Rove around the Oval Office? Such manly moments are to be missed in these dank end days of the swampy DC summer.

10:32: He's got a quite the prissy little demi-man gait to his walk up to the podium. That is not a happy man, not the usual skipping cocky stride of the dude who's gotten his jollies sending people to death and torture.

10:34: Gonzales says life in a suit is better than picking fruit in a field, he gives Bush a gentle kiss on the balls, and, whoa, he's outta there. That is someone who just did something he was ordered to do, but in the most "kiss my ass, motherfuckers" way possible.

Let's see what's up at Fox "news": This Jim Angle fucker thinks that Republicans are upset that Gonzales didn't "defend" himself more in hearings. He says that there's no "proof" that Gonzales lied to the Senate Judiciary Committee, disparaging Democrats, giving a thumb to the walnut-like prostate of Orrin Hatch for the Utah Senator's wisdom in defending Gonzales.

Boo-yah- it's 10:37 and Fox is off to Michael Vick.

Over to CNN: They're talking to fired U.S. Attorney Bud Cummins, who sounds weary of the whole goddamn thing. Says Gonzales failed to insulate the U.S. attorneys from politics. Cummins says of Gonzales, "He earned this, he said and did some things that are unforgivable" and "he threw some of my colleagues under the bus." That's not unakin to stopping Gonzales at the doorway and kicking him in the nuts on the way out. Comically so.

Emory University counsel and former USA Kent Alexander says that Gonzales should have been more independent and able to stand up to the President. And he makes the obvious statement that Bush shouldn't nominate a friend.

CNN's John King tells us that Gonzales is still gonna be called to testify in hearings. He also compares Bush's support for Gonzales to his vow to stand by Harriet Miers' nomination to the Supreme Court and his opposition to the creation of the Department of Homeland Security. King sees this as Bush getting rid of "his pinatas" to position himself better politically, which is not unlike a crack whore pulling off a few herpes scabs to make herself look less diseased to the drunks she's blowing.

And the dead dogs win at CNN at 10:47. And MSNBC is also in the ring with the pit bull corpses. Ah, well, time to shut off the TV, finish this bottle of Moet, and enjoy the slightly brighter sunshine.

Back later with the President's statement, in which he'll criticize Gonzales for withdrawing early and that, like what happened after Vietnam, there'll be killing fields all over Capitol Hill.