Opinion

Stop the boats: take a plane instead

Geez, we are a seriously weird bunch. And sometimes not in a good way ... Let the record show that when it came to asylum seekers coming to us on boats in the first part of the 21st century, there was no barbarity as a nation we were not prepared to stoop to in order to stop them.

We would send out the navy, point guns at them, forcibly put them on remote islands and so demonise them that the government would have public support to leave them rotting there for years!

For NOTHING is more important than stopping the rotters, and we just don't care about suicides, self-harm, reported rapes.

We can't let asylum seekers on boats come here because, if we do, the flood gates will open and they'll arrive en masse, their numbers surely including terrorists who are happy to head our way on leaky boats, just so they can blend in once allowed on Australian soil, only to activate some time in years to come, and kill us.

No problem at all. This is the week that the news broke that since July we have had no fewer than 80 a day turning up at Australian airports and seeking asylum, and the news was met with a collective shrug. No sirens sounded, no declarations of a national emergency, no demands that they be sent to rot on remote islands – no nothing.

For you see, while you and I might think the really sophisticated terrorists, under the circumstances, might be more disposed just to arrive by plane and spare themselves the trouble of spending a decade rotting on an island, you know, that is probably just what they want us to think!

Devious terrorists are just like that, don't you know?

But, seriously, what gives? As a nation, why are we so brutal to the most desperate people of all, who risk their lives in trying to come by boat, and so blasé when they arrive by plane?

FOLAU FALL-OUT

Well I never.

Yes, I know you have tuned out of the Israel Folau saga, but I find it like The Masked Singer, it is so appalling; it is mesmerising and, though you hate yourself for watching, you just can't resist.

The latest is that the former Wallaby fullback is claiming that he never agreed to Rugby Australia's requests that he not continue to post whatever social media posts took his fancy. Riiiiight.

After three weeks of damaging headlines and sponsors threatening to walk after your first post saying gays will go to hell, Rugby Australia was happy to sign you up on another four-times $1 million over the next four years, and never thought to get your agreement that you wouldn't do it again?

Well, it will be for the courts to test that contention. But, in the meantime, I am happy to report the response of Rugby Australia's CEO Raelene Castle: "If Israel had said to me during contract negotiations that he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't make similar posts to the 2018 post in the future, there is no way we would have recontracted him."

Call me crazy, but it seems almost inconceivable that, under the circumstances, they could ever have re-contracted him without such an agreement.

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Adam and Eve are troubled and, holding hands, turn their faces skyward and speak to the heavens: "Lord, when we were in the garden you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And the voice of the Lord booms back: ''No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and that will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves. I will call this animal, as a reflection of my own name, Dog.''

And Dog indeed lives with Adam and Eve and is a companion to them and loves them. And they are comforted. And God is pleased. And Dog is content and wags his tail.

After a while it comes to pass, however, that the Archangel Gabriel comes to the Lord and says, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God says, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration. I will call him Cat."

And indeed Cat will not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gaze into Cat's eyes they are reminded that they are not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learn humility. And they are greatly improved.

And God is pleased.

And Dog is happy.

And Cat really doesn't give a bugger one way or the other.

WHAT THEY SAID

"When the only American citizen President Trump singles out for China's investigation is his political opponent in the midst of the Democratic nomination process, it strains credulity to suggest that it is anything other than politically motivated. By all appearances, the President's brazen and unprecedented appeal to China and to Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden is wrong and appalling." - Senator Mitt Romney

"It was really bad, like I thought I was going to die. I messaged me Mum, saying 'I love you.' " - Brayden Leschinkoho, resident of Rappville, after surviving the fire that ripped through the town.

"We misread the mood about franking credits. In hindsight there were a lot of people who felt vulnerable. We were doing tax reform but there was not enough in the way of tax cuts for people under $125,000." - Former ALP leader Bill Shorten about losing the last election.

"We absolutely apologise to anyone who was personally inconvenienced by our actions. We don't want to be here. We don't want to disrupt people's lives. What we want is for the government to act." - Elly Baxter of Extinction Rebellion, which last week brought Sydney CBD to a stop with a climate change demonstration.

"If we are going to have an honours system, I think that at the apex of the system we should have knights and dames. If you are a tradition-minded leader of a centre-right party, that's exactly the kind of thing that you should do. At the heart of our centre-right tradition it is not so much reform, but restoration." - Tony Abbott, not backing off a jot from the one policy most responsible for him losing the prime ministership.

TWEET OF THE WEEK

"So let me get this right, I can't discriminate against you for your religion but you can discriminate against me for your religion. Doesn't seem right."