Category: Uncategorized

Why me why did you choose me why me everything was perfect or so I thought

you were perfect or so I thoughtI never thought we would end or atleast not the way it did I thought we were something forever and so did everyone else or so they said apparently you had another someone more perfect than I ever was. You said that you guys were just friends you told me not to worry about her but then things started to pop up on her page from your username perfect stunning beautiful gorgeous these words that I did not see myself as, I looked in the mirror and I saw ugly fat gross

You see I was not perfect,I was not perfect for you. I had these images in my head that you were somehow in love with me that you were perfect and I did not want to damage that perfect picture that you had instilled in my brain. Every time something went wrong I did not put the blame on you, when you put your hands on me the blame was on me that I did something wrong I deserved it when you were flirting with other girls, not your fault my fault blame on me once again because you were perfect I am was in the wrong because I am imperfection

Why me? you left me emotionally dead I could not move and the only thing that could heal was you and you left me for dead. You did not care for when I was drowning in the ocean you put me in, you were swinmming safely to shore to someone who was there for you for four years and I was told not to worry about her that I was the one you wanted but why me why lie to me why put me through the pain of something I’ve gone through so many times the same words I will not hurt you but yet the same hurt. The same heartbreak was put on me, that you promise not to put on to me.

Not a term I would personally describe myself but maybe a model on the tv or those really pretty girls in school.

I will never be one of those girls.

Those girls who can fit in size two and never have difficulties finding their sizes or fitting into things. Those girls who have a gap between there arms and when they lay down don’t look huge.

I will never not have these problems.

I will never look in the mirror and accept myself. I will never have a thigh gap or twig arms. I will never have a slim image and a flat stomach. My hipbones won’t peak out and I will never look flattering in a bikini.

What’s wrong? What’s wrong is that you left, you took my heart and you ran. Can I have it back? Because fuck its hard to move forward when I keep looking back. And the funny things is that your not in my life but you are holding me back. And my empty chest needs to be filled with love and emotions because I’ve stopped caring. And all around me are dark clouds and your memories stuck in my head. Everywhere I look I see your face and everything I see brings back pain in some way. You were my everything and then you ripped my chest into shreds dug in there and took what ever was left but thanks for leaving a small piece but of course that small piece is attached to you.

“What’s wrong?”

Oh nothing I’m fine thanks for asking me. Have a nice day. See you around.

A Generation of lies and deciet, soley based on faith and political speakers. A Generation so against the word defeat we rather kill our own men then stop to think. We grew up as kids thinking being adults would be great that we’d find a meaning along the way. But, as I grow in age this empty void that was promised to be filled by surrounding adults grew deeper and deeper with a black sorrow. A Generation so afaird of speaking out and being heard we rather kill ourselves to be known that we felt a pain inside. A society that teaches us to love ourselves immensely but not to much that we become conceited but how can I love myself, to truly feel beautiful where I am in a society that says based on my weight and face that I am not pretty. That I am not worthy of such affection because of imperfections and flaws I could not have stopped. A Generation where we all have dying flowers inside of us and no one to water them because why show affection when becoming heartless can help you protect yourself. But in all this self-protect and self-doing, we’re missing out on community events and making friends. Creating freindships of lifetimes and learning lessons. A Generation where we as mankind rather stop and pick up a random dollar bill on the street then to stop and help pick up an emptied purse. Tell me when we as a Generation became something we all regreted. Tell me when we as a Generation became something so hated.