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Is the Timing of Your Pregnancy Anyone Else’s Business?

Jessica Simpson’s latest pregnancy announcement is making headlines. She became pregnant with her second child seven months after giving birth to her daughter. As someone who was once in her place – I can’t help feeling salty about the controversy. What’s the issue? Why does anyone but her uterus care about the timing of her pregnancy?

Who wants back to back pregnancies? How awful! Because the absolute worst thing in the world for a woman is to carry a few pounds of weight. Right? Who cares that a loving family chose to expand their home with another beautiful child? Let’ s all worry about her waistline.

What a mess.

The issue irks me because the concerns of most seem to revolve around Jessica’s physical appearance. New mothers need support and encouragement from their communities. Too many women are preoccupied with getting their pre-baby bodies back versus adjusting to their new roles comfortably. I know why it happens, but I’m sick of it.

There is an entire industry devoted to new mom body shaming. You’re too fat. You’re covered in stretch marks. Your hair is too thin. Buy this and fix it!

Now!

It’s a sickening trend and sets a dangerous precedent. Anyone who has ever birthed a child knows that there is barely time to eat a decent meal let alone hit the gym for a few hours without household help. I’m sure Jessica Simpson has privileges at her disposal that most mothers dream about – but she shouldn’t be held to a different standard. Let women enjoy their pregnancies and babies without passing judgement on the size of their thighs.

Most people were wise enough to bite their tongues in my presence when I publicly announced my second pregnancy. I became pregnant with my daughter when my son was five months old. I can understand the curiosity, but not the insensitivity.

Why is anyone worried about whether this child was planned? Perhaps people knew better than to step to me with this foolishness because I have a way of embarrassing nosy people that leaves them speechless and red in the face.

“Was the baby planned?”

“Yes. Wanna see the video we made during conception?”“No it wasn’t. I was hoping that after the baby was born I could give it to you since you seem so concerned and have a spare room”.“What baby? I’m not pregnant. I just ate a delicious romantic lunch with your husband”.

Responses like those are why people know better than to intrude on my personal life, but that doesn’t mean people weren’t talking. I know they were, but I don’t understand why. My husband and I were happy, comfortable, and confident about our choice. Should anyone else’s opinion matter?

Here’s a bit of unsolicited advice if you’re curious about the timing of a friend’s pregnancy: don’t ask. If a woman wants to discuss the challenges she might face with back to back pregnancies or two kids under two she will. There’s no need to intrude. You are not helping.

Remember your own mother’s advice. If you have nothing nice to say – bite your tongue and say nothing at all.

Ever have someone say something rude to you about your family planning?