I guess one of the reasons people think I am strange is that
things strike me as funny that other people never think about. We
get a brand of veggie-burgers that are called Boca Burgers. I
find this a very strange name. Does nobody else find that a
really humorous name? Boca is Spanish for "mouth." These are
mouth burgers. The name implies these are the burgers intended
for your mouth. One wonders what other orifices they think people
make burgers for. [-mrl]

[Aaron Leeper (catchy name, Leeper--it has a very pleasing
cadence), from Beer Sheva sends this information inspired by my
editorial on spiders and bridges. I thought it was interesting
enough that I would make it a guest editorial this week. -mrl]

Because my computer had been out of commission for a long time,
I'm still catching up with all my e-mail. I am making headway,
though. I just got around to reading your ponderings on the
subject of spiders on bridges.

Spiders don't get to these remote locations by walking. They
cover distances by "ballooning".

First of all you have to see for yourself how very many little
spiderlings hatch out of an egg case to appreciate the number of
opportunities one female spider has to cast her offspring to the
four winds. Only a small proportion of her babies lands in a safe
and propitious location to survive. The rest die. Those few that
are lucky to find a place where food is available to trap in their
webs are the ones that grow up to produce another generation. A
tiny spiderling will relocate a number of times by "ballooning" if
it is not satisfied with the results of its last attempt. Each
time it risks being blown off course to its death, or getting
lucky. They have no control over where they'll end up next.

A quality location is one that has supports close enough together
for the guy-wire strands of a web to take hold. The web framework
depends on this. The interstices of a bridge's construction are
ideal for this.

A quality location is one that has a plentiful food supply. The
water below a bridge is a wonderful breeding area for semi-aquatic
insects, like gnats and mosquitoes and mayflies and midges. The
supports and underside of a bridge are a great resting-place for
the winged-forms of these insects to rest before they take flight
in search of each other.

A brand new bridge will already be collecting its population of
spiders while it is being constructed, long before it is opened to
traffic. As each new span is added on, one more set of quality
locations becomes available to more spiderlings. As long as the
weather is good enough, spiders will produce one generation after
another, so there will be a constant assault of ballooning spiders
landing in its riggings.

A quality location also has variable winds. Sometimes a light
breeze will send a ballooning spider across the bridge, sometimes
along the bridge, sometimes into oblivion. A strong wind will
shred a web into tatters, but a new one can be and usually is
reconstructed every evening if the winds are calm enough.

A quality location also provides shelter. There are so many
little angles and niches in a bridge's structure that any spider
that can overcome all the odds of reaching a bridge is very lucky
to have such an ideal location.

The fact that you have noticed how densely spiders cover the
spaces on a bridge testifies to the quality of such a location.

Ballooning, if you are not familiar with the term, involves a
spiderling letting out a long strand of light silk from its
spinnerets. Air currents tug on the surface of this silk. The
spiderling climbs to a prominent point and literally stands on
tiptoe with its spinnerets high in the air before letting out the
silk strand. Once the tug on the strand is strong enough to
convince the spiderling that is can become airborne, it lets go of
the surface it was standing on and goes sailing away. When the
strand gets tangled in something at the end of its flight, the
spider detaches itself from its silk and evaluates its new
surroundings. If it is not satisfied, it will go ballooning
again. Because the spiderling is so very light and the
accumulative area of the long strand of silk offers so much
surface for wind to push against, a spiderling can easily be
carried aloft on the wind. If the long strand of silk collides
with a nearby object before lift is achieved, the spider will walk
across the strand to the other end of it.

Ballooning is performed by tiny spiderlings. Heavier growing or
full-grown spiders don't balloon. They still do use the
ballooning technique to send out silk that they can walk across
once they detect that the silk has connected with an object at the
far end. So it is critical when a spider is still very tiny that
it finds a quality location because only relatively minor
adjustments can be made afterwards. It's also very perilous.

And what happens if you balloon into some other spider's already-
claimed domain? She makes a meal out of you. Nobody ever said a
spider's life was easy.

Invertebrate biology is my specialty. Spiders have always
fascinated me. I was happy to provide this information. [-al]

Readers may be interested in Sandy Starr's "The Geek Shall Inherit
the Earth", which says, in part:

"The criticism traditionally heaped upon science fiction and
fantasy - that they are infantile and escapist genres - has always
been fairly risible. There is no reason why science fiction,
fantasy, and yes, even comic books, cannot be used in an ambitious
way to explore the human condition, just as all fiction can.
Science fiction and fantasy often provide a fascinating insight
into the concerns of the times in which they are produced, from
the progressive aspirations of the US science fiction writers of
the 1950s, to JRR Tolkien's Catholic morality in THE LORD OF THE
RINGS.

But the criticism of science fiction and fantasy fans--that we are
infantile and escapist people, and socially inept to boot--sadly
has a little more truth to it."

The problem I have with the article is that it is more about
people who use the Internet rather than face-to-face interactions
than it is about science fiction fans per se.

[Mike Lukacs, long-time member and friend and principal scientist
at Nova-Sol, sends this comment keeping me honest after last
week's energy article.]

Re: Hydrogen as a transport medium rather than a primary energy
source: Partially true, but not entirely true.

If we produce Hydrogen by the electrolysis of water (H2O) then
everything that you say is correct. We must put at least as much
energy into the electrolysis as we get out by the recombination.

But electrolysis is not the only source of hydrogen.

"Natural gas" is a large reserve of hydrogen in the ground. It
consists of a mixture of hydrogen and several simple hydrocarbon
compounds. (Methane CH4, Butane C2H6, Propane C3H8, etc.) The
hydrocarbons can be separated into Hydrogen and Carbon by various
methods that use less energy than is released when the Hydrogen
recombines with Oxygen. Also, when done carefully the Carbon from
these compounds can be converted to long chain Hydrocarbons
(useful in chemicals, plastics, and feedstock) which have much
higher ratios of carbon to Hydrogen, rather than being released as
Carbon Dioxide.

Another major potential source of Hydrogen is biomass, plants that
use energy from sunlight to fix carbon dioxide from the atmosphere
and hydrogen from water into Oxygenated Hydrocarbons (alcohols,
sugars, etc.) These too can be converted to hydrogen and
carbonaceous compounds with less energy input than the eventual
energy output when the hydrogen is burned.

Furthermore, most of the benefits of burning Hydrogen in an
automotive engine can be obtained by burning Methane, or Propane
or Methyl CH3OH or Ethyl CH3CH2OH Alcohol. While the above
hydrocarbon gasses share some of the handling problems of
Hydrogen, the Alcohols are liquids which do not need to be stored
under pressure and are less of a fire hazard than gasoline.

All of this "free" energy, and all of the energy in petroleum
compounds and coal, ultimately comes from the Sun. The only
significant terrestrial energy sources that do not derive from
(our) sun are nuclear energies and part of geothermals.

Ultimately, the universe is powered by gravity and mass/energy
conversion. [-mel]

[Mike also points out an article in the current SCIENCE NEWS
(March 6) that a new process creates hydrogen fuel from ethanol.
Ethanol is the alcohol that is produced by fermenting corn. It is
conceivable that future cars will be run on fuel grown as corn.
The analyses of hydrogen fuel that I have read seem to assume
electolysis, but apparently other means of production are quite
possible. -mrl]

CAPSULE: A 3000-mile endurance horse race over the sands of Arabia
is the basis for this adventure film from Disney/Touchstone.
Viggo Mortensen plays Frank Hopkins, who claimed it all happened.
Too many bad guys, conspiracies, murders, kidnappings, Indian
spirits, rescues, acrobatics, political lessons, and one genius of
a horse drag down what could have been a good adventure story.
Disney should have stuck to Hopkins's story whether it was true or
not. Rating: low +1 (-4 to +4) or 5/10

Frank Hopkins probably had little respect for the truth and my
guess is that Touchstone probably had just as little respect for
Hopkins's stories. With all that latitude Disney/Touchstone could
have made a better film based on the claimed adventures of Frank
Hopkins.

Late in life Hopkins wrote down what are purported to be his
adventures as a champion endurance horse racer. Whether the
stories are true or not is a matter of controversy. Little
corroborating evidence is available. But among his stories is how
in 1890 he rode his mustang stallion Hidalgo in a 3000-mile
endurance race across the Arabian Desert in 1890.

As the film opens, Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) is a racer who must
compete with upper class swells who look down on him and his
Hidalgo because neither are thoroughbreds. He has been friends
with Indians and loves their mustang horses. He has a short stint
as a courier for the United States Army during which he is present
to see the army's massacre at Wounded Knee. Seeing his own people
commit such brutality, he is sickened in his heart. With his
spirit dead he quits the army and joins Buffalo Bill's Wild West
Show. There he is successfully drinking himself to death when he
is told of the great endurance race across the Arabian Desert.
Hopkins is challenged to compete. (There is a problem in
chronology. The Wounded Knee massacre occurred on December 28,
1890. Hopkins said the race was also in 1890. That does not
leave much time for the race, but if the writer can throw Wounded
Knee into his story, he can move events around.) This needed to
be a bold, exuberant, fun adventure film for kids and adults.
That sort of action does not go well with a recreation of a
historical massacre. The script's reasons for Hopkins entering
the race are not fully understood by the viewer until the final
scenes of the film. Ironically it is actually the love of his
horse that urges him to put the mustang through this grueling
ordeal. The horse is portrayed as so intelligent the two may have
even discussed it.

Now, this race-without-rules itself would have been a good enough
subject for a film, whether it really happened or not. But for
the writer to throw in all the subplot adventures makes the whole
story seem rather juvenile, if a juvenile films could have a
Wounded Knee sequence and graphic references to castration. John
Fusco's screenplay throws in a kidnapping and rescue, fights to
the death, bands of marauders, conniving females, and entirely too
much else that one would be unlikely to see on the desert. If you
want to see how to do a good film of an endurance horse race
without padding with a lot of silly folderol see Richard Brooks's
1975 film BITE THE BULLET. The script is full of what appear to
be absurdities. The viewer finds himself distracted by questions
such as, would an Arabian Desert oasis hundreds of miles from
anything but another oasis really have a wild rabbit? If this
desert is so deadly and lacking in food, how did the rabbit manage
to cross it?

Mortensen has the looks to be a rough swashbuckling hero. After
THE LORD OF THE RINGS his trademark has become the two-day growth
of beard. He seems to wear that constantly during the race in
spite of having apparently brought shaving gear. Also present in
the film are Omar Sharif and an uncredited Malcolm McDowell.
Beyond that most of the actors seemed unfamiliar. The film is
directed by Joe Johnston, who previously directed the very good
ROCKETEER and the even better OCTOBER SKY. He had the seed of a
good adventure film here. Somehow the film went wrong when
someone decided that Hopkins stories were not sufficiently
exciting and needed to be spiked with so many invented action
sequences and overlaid the story with a political message. I rate
HIDALGO a low +1 on the -4 to +4 scale or 5/10. [-mrl]

Jonathan Carroll's THE LAND OF LAUGHS is a book I have wanted to
read for a long time after I heard it recommended by a panelist at
a science fiction convention. The book seems to have a very loyal
following, though it itself is generally a hard book to find.
Most editions of the book--and there now seem to have been a
handful--have humorous cover illustrations of a smiling bulldog.
They remind me of a painting that was in my bed-and-breakfast room
in Australia. It showed a happy smiling girl in the woods like
she was from a Grimm's fairy tale. But I realized that if you
looked at the girl's face you could easily read in it a terrified
hysteria. That ironic duality is what most cover illustrations
for this book try to capture. That duality is exactly the tone of
the novel.

Hanging over this book is the great children's author Marshall
France, now deceased. Think of him as L. Frank Baum with
J. K. Rowlings's success (which Baum may have had at one point).
There are those who remember the happiest moments of their
childhood were reading France's books. But there has never been a
biography of France. A young couple who recently met each other,
Thomas Abbey and Saxony Gardner, want to write just such a
biography of their favorite children's author. They travel to
Galen, Missouri, France's hometown, to research the man. Galen is
a town that still lives under the spell of its favorite son. The
magic of France's writing still lives in the town. Like picture of
the girl in the woods, behind all the apparent joy lies terror.
Not all the magic is so wonderful as it at first appears.

Carroll's book, copyright 1980, is full of an infectious theme of
the joy of reading. There are references to several books about
children's fantasy, of which all but France's books are real. It
is an odd combination to be writing about the joy of reading in a
tale that is in large part horror story, but Carroll deftly
manages to get them to rest side-by-side.

Carroll has a nice flowing writing style matched as closely as
possible to France's probable writing style. Still the final
explanation of what is going on seems a minor letdown. But rare
is the horror story that has a truly original concept. The
interlocking aspects of style, mood, and atmosphere are much more
the virtues of horror and Carroll is better than most with
subtlety and wit.

I believe that in the United States this book was out of print and
hard to obtain for several years. I can't say I was actively
searching for the book but I probably would have picked up a copy
if one appeared. None did. In 2001 Orb reprinted the book and I
actually found it inexpensively remaindered. But it is easy to
get a copy from Amazon. If you treasure memories of reading from
your early years, this novel is worth checking out. [-mrl]

Continuing the theme of reading short story collections, we turn
to ITERATIONS, a short story collection from Robert J. Sawyer
published only in Canada in 2002. The book has been sitting on my
shelf for a very long time, and now that I've read it, I wish it
hadn't been there so long.

ITERATIONS is full of short stories the way I remember short
stories were written when I was younger - short, sweet, with some
impact and with something to make you want to go "hmmmm". Maybe
I've been looking in all the wrong places (I think there's a song
title in there somewhere) for short fiction, but I just don't find
much like this any more.

And there are quite a few of them, too, all with introductions by
Sawyer himself, giving a little story behind the story. There are
twenty-two stories in all (unless I can't count any more), and
there are several gems:

"You See But You Do Not Observe", a Sherlock Holmes tale that now
makes me want to go and read that two-volume set of Sherlock
Holmes tales published as a Barnes and Noble Classic that I picked
up over the holidays; "If I'm Here, Imagine Where They Sent My
Luggage", a short and sweet take on a familiar problem; "Just Like
Old Times", wherein Sawyer mixes three themes (dinosaurs, crime,
and time travel) to give us a scary view of what could be the fate
of humanity; "The Abdication of Pope Mary III", wherein a future
pontiff decides that it's time to quit, and ends up playing the
Pied Piper in the end; "The Hand You're Dealt", a story that I'd
read elsewhere but still had an impact, that has a neat twist on
the genetic theme; "The Contest", a new take on an old rivalry;
and what I think is my favorite of the bunch, "Lost in the Mail",
where our friendly neighborhood postman is a lot more than meets
the eye.

In reality, they're all good, but I don't want to give one liners
for all of them. This is a book that I think you'll enjoy
immensely. I recommend that you go out and find this book - I
don't know if any made it to libraries here in the U.S. Your best
bet may be to go Sawyer's website and see if he has any left, or
maybe to Amazon or Ebay. [It seems to have made it to at least
three United States libraries: the University of Utah, Stanford
University, and the Sno-Isle, WA, regional public library. Try
chapters.ca or amazon.ca--the trade paperback just came out in
February. -ecl]

I'll probably be leaving the short story stuff for awhile - there
are several novels I've been wanting to get at, and there's this
Sherlock Holmes stuff.... [-jak]

I got a couple of comments on my comments last week on our book
group's discussion of Carl Sagan's CONTACT. Mark Leeper said of
the idea that we would be reading it at the meeting, "Perhaps
they expected excerpts. We do call it a 'reading group' not a
'discussion group.'" Charlie Harris also said this, as well as
saying of the digressions, "I'd distinguish between two types of
digression: the science pedagogy--which I did not find annoying--
and the routine, non-sf, not-plot-related stories involving non-
central characters--which I did."

After I saw the film GLORY fifteen years ago, I decided I wanted
to read the book of Robert Gould Shaw's letters, BLUE-EYED CHILD
OF FORTUNE. But because I didn't want to spend the price charged
by the specialty publisher who had it in print, I started looking
for a used copy. I somehow managed to miss the trade paperback
edition when it came out, but I did eventually run across a used
copy a year ago. (This gives you some idea how large my backlog
is!) I think I'm glad I didn't buy this new. The letters are
certainly of interest, but I was not happy with the footnoting.
It was extensive, but was almost entirely identifying the people
named in the letters (e.g., the full name of someone Shaw refers
to as "Aunt Jane"), and very little commenting on events mentioned
by Shaw, or giving a wider perspective when he talks about what he
hopes will happen or such. I realize that was the decision of
editor Russell Duncan, not to "intrude" on Shaw, but given that
close to a third of the book is the footnotes I felt it could have
helped. My other regret is that Shaw spent so little time writing
about the 54th Massachusetts--most of the letters are before he
takes command of the regiment. However, for those who want more,
I recommend Luis E. Emilio's A BRAVE BLACK REGIMENT--Emilio was
the highest ranking officer to survive the attack on Battery
Wagner. (Contrary to what you might think from the name, Emilio
was not from the American Southwest or Mexico--his parents were
immigrants from Spain and he was born in Salem, Massachusetts.)

Ian Watson's MOCKYMEN has gotten a lot of good reviews. I found
the first part (about ancient Nordic rituals) enthralling when it
appeared in INTERZONE, but I found the rest of the story, dealing
with aliens who give us mind-altering drugs in exchange for the
use of the eventually used-up bodies as receptacles for their
disembodied minds, a bit too much of a change of direction. The
whole mix of fantasy, horror, *and* science fiction seemed a bit
much, even though I could appreciate Watson's skill. [-ecl]

Mark Leeper
mleeper@optonline.net
Quote of the Week:
If you're going to do something tonight
that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.
-- Henny Youngman