Sybil is super peeved that Enzo won't let her have total control over his mind (how DARE he want agency?), and she knows that Bonnie is the key to finally making him crack. She tells Damon to kill Bonnie, ruining Caroline's first wedding dress try-on-a-thon. Caroline impales Damon, probably with a little more force than was necessary, and the girls make haste to Chez Salvatore, where Sybil awaits them. She declares that either Bonnie chooses Damon or Enzo to die OR they will kill each other, gladiator-style. They didn't even end up taking their shirts off for this. Rude.

Damon reaches out to Stefan for back-up against Enzo, and instead of just snapping both of their necks until the Cavalry arrives (Ric with Ye Magical Tuning Fork), it all goes terribly pear-shaped. The crew arrives en masse, and Bonnie chooses to save Enzo, except Sybil is shady AF and decides to kill Bonnie...UNLESS he turns off his humanity. Sybil tells Damon to kill Bonnie ANYWAYS, and this time Enzo doesn't bat an eye. She barely escapes thanks to Ric, and Stefan snaps Damon's neck to buy Bonnie more time. Georgie witnesses it all, having followed Ric, and honestly they just need to loop her in on what's going on - she has that tattoo for cryin' out loud!

Sybil passes the time by inserting herself into all of Damon's memories, replacing not only Elena, but now Bonnie. She took away the sacred memory of making pancakes together. She is beyond awful.

Damon's back to playing bait by lying in the middle of the road, only this time it's Tyler Lockwood that stops. He seems to be working for The Armory, and Damon tears his throat out. Is Tyler alive? Do we really even care?

Holy CRAP

Stefan is child-proofing Chez Salvatore because Stefan is perfect for Caroline. <3

Magical tuning fork is magical..! I was sorta hoping that Sybil's ears would bleed but no dice.

Aww, Stefan and Ric sharing a drink (or eight) together, and Ric finally congratulates him on his engagement. #closure

Caroline is actually letting Bonnie help her plan her wedding. This is HUGE.

All of the flashbacks, especially to the first season, have me so ready to queue up a rewatch! That each episode's title this season is a nod to a well-known quote from the show is SO RAD.

Vamp What Even Is He At This Point? of the Week: Tyler Lockwood

Is Tyler still a werewolf? A hybrid? Did he lose his powers by crossing the border last season? I honestly can't remember, and who the hell sent him after Damon? This scene seemed to come out of nowhere. I'm only honoring Tyler because he might be dead, although I doubt it.

Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin

Hero Hair: I tried finding a gif of Caroline impaling Damon in the bridal shop, but the internet has let me down. Caroline will never fully forgive Damon, and I love her for it.

Nefarious Grin: Sybil who hurt you, girl? I know you must have a juicy backstory full of abandonment, deceit, and heartbreak. Spill it.

Sound Bites

You know, I never had a brother. Damon was the closest thing. And I have to believe that if you have gotten him back before, there has got to be a way to do it again. - Ric [to Stefan]

Whatever desire you have to save me, I kind of need that right now. - Damon [to Stefan]

I'd be honored to be your maid of honor...and not just because my main competition is in a coma until I die. - Bonnie [to Caroline]

Caroline: You snuck into my house and found my old wedding book?
Bonnie: How else was I going to out-Caroline Forbes Caroline Forbes?

Burning Questions

Where the hell is Selene St. John? Everything around those sisters seems super fishy, including Virginia's suicide earlier this season. And what is their link to Sybil?

Did Matt Donovan finally move out of Mystic Falls?

Will Stefan finally reach out to The Original Family for some help? They could use some of Freyja's magic right now.

Was anyone else as confused by Tyler's appearance as I was? Although, good on Michael Trevino for embracing facial hair, finally. The preview for next week's episode informs us that Sybil has a sister. I'm ready for a Sibling Showdown. I want my Damon back! Commiserate with me in the comments!

About the Author: Amanda R. is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She's a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, the leader of FYA Oakland, and bakes a damn fine pie.