Monday, June 16, 2014

Guardian of the Angels Blog Tour

Today on my blog I have the Guardian of the Angels Blog Tour. On my stop there is a spotlight, guest post, and giveaway.

It could be worse for Sylva Lark.
She could be dead. A coma was nothing to that. Or her family moving across
country for the treatment, leaving her with a big blue mark on her back.

She can handle it.

Mostly.

Except the mark glows and
tingles, especially whenever transition helper Atticus Plot (Attic) is close
by. She suspects he’s hiding something, and when she stumbles across a torn
body bearing the same spiral marking as her own, that suspicion is confirmed.

After a few shaves with death,
the truth finally comes out and the battles begin.

But not all her fights are external; her biggest
one is the decision she has to make between doing the right thing for the world
and giving up her beloved family for good.

So you want to know about my
inner secrets? Okay, I’ll try expressing them to you. But they’re not all
pretty. So here’s the truth. All of it, and nothing but:

I want to see my family. I want
to have them in my life. I want to be loved. Not just loved, but
unconditionally loved. I want to be good at what I do; I want to save as many
guardians, civilians, angels as I can, but I also need to save myself. Save my friends,
save my love for Attic.

I want to see him again, but I
don’t want the pain of losing him. I don’t want him to suffer losing me.

I want a normal life. But I want
this life too. I want to be the hero, the savior. I want to be seen as someone
important, who has things they can add to this world to make it a better place.

But I also want my cat to curl up
in my lap when I go to sleep. I want to sleep again. Not just because I’d like to,
because my body is so weary I need to.
I want to feel exhausted. I want to feel like I have an excuse to do nothing. I
want to see the stars and see if Maddy is winking down at me. I want to hear
her voice whispering on a warm summer’s breeze, I want the cold to ice my
fingertips, my nose, my heart until I am numb from feeling, because feeling
hurts. Feeling is what will kill me before any Arae demon does.

I feel like I’m drowning in it,
and I want to resurface. I want not to feel . . . not to feel the bad stuff.
The worrying stuff, the hard stuff, because of course there are other things I
want. The good, sweet, soft touches. The kind words that wrap around my heart
and make it beat faster. The sweet touches of Attic as he explores my skin, kissing
every inch of me to make me experience new feelings.

And I want the firm embrace of my
friend, hugging me because I need it. Hugging me because HE needs it, and finally
can admit that to me. I want ice cream, because its cool sweetness is as close
to the numbing I want and the sweet comfort I need. I want you Attic. I want
you family. I want you new guardian family.

I want

I want

Oh, God. I want so badly.

I lied when I said I didn’t love
you, I lied when I said I was unhappy, because a part of me IS satisfied with
being a guardian, with killing bad guys, and I wonder what that makes me?

I lied when I said I wanted space
from you. I lied when I told you to kiss me, touch me, have me. I lied because
I wanted them, but I didn’t want them then, not that way. That was punishment
for me, because I was angry at myself. Punishment for you, because you deserved
better, and I’m so sorry.

God, Eirene, Heaven, I am so
sorry for doing that to you. I am so sorry for not being the person you thought
I was, a woman you love, and like, and respect. And I want to go back and
change things. I want to make it right. I want you to want me so bad, and I
want that we are in this together. Always together. I have your back; you have
mine. I said I could manage without you; I can, but I don’t want to. I lied
when I said those words to you.

Marcus, I lied when you took my
ice cream and ate it and I said that was fine. Really, I wanted it back. Not
because of what it is, but what it represents. The good mind numbing things I
have left in life. There aren’t many, don’t take them away too. I lied when I
looked at myself in the mirror and said I was happy. I lied when I said I was
sad. I lied when I said I was ambivalent. I’m not any of those things. But I
don’t know what I am. Maybe I’ll figure it out. I hope so. But we’ll see.

Confused, I guess,

Sylva

Author Bio:

A born and raised New Zealander,
Anyta Sunday has been exploring the literary world since she started reading
Roald Dahl as a kid. Inspired, stories have been piling up in her head ever
since. Fast forward to her mid-twenties and jump a few countries (Germany,
America, and back again), and she started putting pen to paper. When she’s not
writing or chasing her kid around, she’s reading, hiking, watching a Joss
Whedon series, attempting pilates, or curling up with her two cats. Updates on
her projects can be found at anytasunday.com.

Thank you for stopping by my blog today. I would also like to say Thank You to Anyta for her guest post and say Thank You to Bewitching Book Tours for letting me participate in this blog tour. Don't forget to enter the giveaway below.