We MUST fight
back! We must do something before breathing requires Internet Explorer!

Ways to torment Internet Explorer
users:

1. Delete their "Internet" icon. (<whine>You deleted the Internet!</whine>)
2. Set the home page to an embedded ActiveX control that automatically
shuts down their computer .
3. Change their bookmarks to point to anti M$ sites.
4. Set their font colors to white on white.
5. Tell them about Linux. Their heads will burst in to flame after
the first word.
6. Reformat their hard drive and tell them IE 4 did it. (If IE 4 has
not actually done that already).
7. Disfigure the picture of Bill Gates that they worship.
8. Change their default browser to Lynx.
9. Fill their desktop with IE shortcut icons. Watch them get dizzy
and pass out.
10. Tug on their Borg implants.
11. Create a shortcut on their desktop with the IE icon, but pointed
to Netscape.
12. Install an alternate desktop shell on their Windoze 98.
13. Uninstall IE 4 -- from Windows 98.
14. Fix their virus scanner to detect Internet Explorer as a virus.
(Why not? It IS a virus after all!)
15. Refer them to a really cool web page... that can not be viewed
in IE.
16. Winnuke them over the internet.
17. Tell them that since they have the "English" version they need
to download the "Metric" version of IE.
18. Set his 21" monitor to display at 640*480*256@60hz... oh wait,
that's what its already set to.
19. Hide the task bar.
20. Convince them that FTP stands for something obscene.
21. Why bother torturing them? If they have Internet Explorer, they
probably have enough problems already.
22. Change the channel bar.
23. Put a self.close() command in the local blank.htm page.
24. Set their DUN to auto dial Japan.
25. Run circles around their computer with a PC XT running DOS.
26. Have some fun with REGEDIT!
27. Tell them horror stories about people being abducted over the internet
through IE.
28. Hit them over the head with a Macintosh
29. Copy c:\command.com c:\windows\system\mshtml.dll
30. Ask them to start any other application while using IE. Chug, Chug,
Chug...
31. Have contests to see who's Internet Explorer can run the longest
before crashing. Record so far: 10 minutes.
32. Perform an exorcism on their computer.
33. When you find out they use IE run away screaming something about
an alien popping out of their chest.
34. Remove all their fonts except wingdings.
35. Use their IE CD as a pooper scooper.
36. Unplug their modem. Then unplug their telephone so they can't call
technical support.
37. Disable disk caching on their hard drive. Can you spell "eternity"?
38. When they call for tech support, tell them they need to uninstall
IE.
39. Give their computer to aliens and watch the aliens laugh at it.
40. Donate their computer to underprivileged children who could not
otherwise afford to be assimilated.
41. Wipe your butt with their computer.
42. Embalm the browser
43. "Borrow" some of their ram chips.
44. Show them my "Reasons not to install Internet Explorer" page.
45. Run over their computer with your car.
46. Associate ALL of their file types with Notepad.
47. Load a program that retracts their "cup holder" at random intervals.
<Splash!>
48. Set proxies when they don't need them.
49. Let them install IE from 360k floppy disks.
50. See if their Internet Explorer can stand a sudden charge of 1.21
gigawatts - while they are using it.
51. Melt holes in their IE CD with a magnifying glass.
52. Put a Post-It on the bottom of their mouse.
53. Replace Command.com with Reboot.com.
54. Have fun with the Klingon font and font substitution.
55. Import the contents of their swap file in to a WAV file and set
it to play at startup.
56: Start regedit, go to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Internet
Explorer\Main and change the string value named "Window Title" to something
obscene.

Disclaimer: This list is provided for entertainment purposes
only. I am not responsible for any damage you may cause while you torment
those lousy IE users.