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Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Character Reflection // The Crawley Sisters

When watching a show, I often try to discover which character resembles me in deed and word.

In this post, I'm exploring the Crawley sisters from Downton Abbey.

I prefer to think I'm like the soft, kind-hearted, yet still passionate about what she believes in, Lady Sybil Crawley. The one who slips compassionately behind her sister and whispers, "I know you're sad about {his death} , whatever you may say."

But I sometimes fear I rather more mirror the heart of Lady Mary, the beautiful, but cold, selfish, and often distant one. The one who replies to her sister, "You are a darling for saying that, but that's my problem. I'm not as sad as I should be, and that's what makes me sad."

Yet, on other occasions, I wonder if I am Lady Edith; awkward, fumbling to find my way in the world. Always trying to do the right thing, and forever failing.

I feel like Sybil when I get caught up in mission work, on the days when I help others, when I try to be useful.

Far too often, nevertheless, even on these occasions, I turn into Mary. I do this work perhaps because I think the recipient of my kindness is worthy of it, or perhaps because I believe that in so doing, I will gain the respect and love of others.

I frequently feel like Edith when performing these tasks, because no matter how I try, I cannot succeed in performing them correctly. I make mistakes, because I expect to. And so it is no surprise to me, and I sigh and say it is worthless to try again.

I wish to be Sybil, helping the servant downstairs in the basement to get the job she longs for, devoting hours of my time and energy to doing so. But it may be that the truth is, it all depends on if that "servant" seems deserving of my help, and so I turn into Mary, and when my attempts to help fail, I become Edith.

I think I could be like Sybil, who takes her time, making sure her decision is the right one to with which to secure her happiness, but in the end goes ahead with it, convinced she is right, against her family's wishes, although she makes her peace with them.

But I'm altogether afraid I'm Mary, so determined to hold onto control of my world, so frightened to hurt myself by making the wrong choice, that I come across cold and unfeeling as I chase my own happiness away.

And then again, perhaps I am after all Edith. So in pursuit of having a purpose in life, that I become too hasty, and end up losing that purpose.

I suppose in the end, though, all three girls learn the lessons they must learn, and secure their futures. And although their stories are fictional, I must learn from them.

For you see, they searched for joy that cannot come from this world, for they searched without God. Without a God to mold, shape, and bend them to His will. Without the God who could give them the peace that passes understanding. Without trusting the God who holds the future in His hands.

And so, no matter how they try, their life would remain empty.

But whether I am most like Mary, Edith, or Sybil Crawley, it truly doesn't matter. Because with God, I can become what He most desires me to be; a woman of God.

5 comments:

Beautiful post <3 I think I'm definitely most like Edith - I'm a taking-life-by-the-horns kind of girl, for sure. When I get tested, I can turn a bit more like Mary - but I'm trying to work on fixing that and lashing out less when life throws curveballs at me.

I love this! :D I do the same thing, try to figure out which character in a show or movie I'm most like. It was actually distracting in Harry Potter - I could never get over how similar (in appearance, not so much personality, though there were some similarities) I was to Hermione lol..

Maybe, at the moment, you're a bit of all of these characters. But you're also your own person. Personally, that's what I feel when reading this - I can relate to most of these descriptions, in some way or another, but none can fully describe the kind of person I am. They're things to think about, for sure.