Lakers need Phil, and so do we

May 15, 2010

Updated Aug. 21, 2013 1:17 p.m.

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Coach Phil Jackson told reporters Saturday his Lakers "are accumulating some of the activation" they'll need for the Western Conference finals that start Monday. And that wasn't even the strangest thing he said. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson) STF

Coach Phil Jackson told reporters Saturday his Lakers "are accumulating some of the activation" they'll need for the Western Conference finals that start Monday. And that wasn't even the strangest thing he said. (AP Photo/Chris Carlson) STF

EL SEGUNDO – There are times in practice when he has to guard Kobe Bryant.

There are times in games when he has to be Kobe Bryant, coming off the bench to replace the star Laker.

Saturday, though, Shannon Brown was really given a difficult assignment. He was asked to describe Phil Jackson. In a single word.

“Mysterious,” Brown said after a period of silent reflection that would have challenged the 24-second shot clock.

Mysterious?

“A lot of the things he does are unorthodox,” Brown explained. “But if you’re around him enough, you start to understand. He’s smart. There’s a lot of wisdom there. But are there times when, as a player, you just sort of go, ‘Huh?’ ”

It isn’t just the players. Jackson’s what-the-heck moments strike all those who spend any amount of time with him.

Exonerates his style of play? Jackson would have made more sense had he just started speaking Cantonese.

Maybe he meant exaggerates. Or exacerbates. Or, who knows with all that hair on Nash, exfoliates?

Nash was born in South Africa and grew up in British Columbia. Perhaps Jackson meant expatriates.

For someone famous for giving his players books to read, Jackson has an odd way of arm-wrestling with the English language. And often losing. It’s part comical, part endearing and part troubling. He’s sort of Yoda meets Yogi.

This could be his final season, meaning Jackson could be only eight victories – or four losses – from hiding forever in the Montana mountains. He’s 64, except for his legs, which based on watching him walk, are probably closer to 164.

He has avoided directly answering yes-or-no questions about his future, but there’s one thing for certain: If Jackson does depart, the Lakers would become vastly less entertaining the moment he walks out the door.

Speaking to the media a few weeks ago, he referenced some of the Lakers having “malingering injuries.” We all assumed he meant “lingering injuries,” but then maybe he was subtly ripping his players, calling the Lakers fakers.

Jackson has been known to question the tactics of opponents, the eyesight of referees and the IQ of entire cities. His words cost him $70,000 in NBA fines last month alone, and we thought $250 for a vowel on “Wheel of Fortune” was outrageous.

On Friday, he accused Nash of carrying the ball. Not just on a particular play, understand, but all the time.

This was noteworthy since the Lakers are about to meet Phoenix in the conference finals, Nash is a two-time MVP and, as a Canadian, he should know better than to come to this country – to Arizona, no less! – and start cheating the system.

Nash responded Saturday by deliciously digging right back. He noted that, during the last round of playoffs, “The best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn’t have a problem” with his dribbling.

Imagine now waiting nearly a week between games and having no choice but to listen to, for the sake of comparison, Mike Scioscia. He’s more likely to denounce the wearing of pants before saying Andy Pettitte balks every pitch.

No account of Jackson’s choice of words would be complete without recalling last postseason, against the Rockets. It was Houston, we have a freaking problem. During a live postgame news conference there, Jackson unleashed an f-bomb.

It surely was the least dignified moment of his coaching career. Remarkably un-Zen but totally all-men.

Who knows how much difference Jackson – like any coach – actually makes? No team has won more regular-season games the past two years than Cleveland has. But that’s because of LeBron James, not Mike Brown, who’s considered so valuable that the Cavaliers might fire him at any moment.

Each of Jackson’s 10 championship teams has included one or two of the following all-world players: Bryant, Shaquille O’Neal, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen. We’re thinking Scioscia could have won at least a couple NBA titles with those guys.

But Shannon Brown did say Jackson “has a unique ability to promote cohesiveness,” and that’s just as important and difficult as marrying egos that, in this league, can be large enough to have moons.

Asked last week about retiring after these playoffs, Jackson called the possibility “very real.” As much as he loves everything happening right now, his life would remain complete without another eight-day, five-game trip in February.

He has been criticized in this space for being arrogant and annoyingly minimal at times with his in-game participation.

But the Lakers wouldn’t be the same without Jackson. Much of the intrigue would be gone. So would a lot of the laughs. Same with the anticipation of what could be coming next.

And that’s the thing with mysteries, see. They aren’t nearly as interesting once they’re solved.

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