Category: Originally Written Elsewhere

Being married to a Korean it’s hard not to be interested in Korean controversial issues.¬† One of the more famous examples would be the Korean Dok-Do Island which Japan has given another name and tried to claim as their own.¬† It’s a glorified rock, but, of course, it represents nationality and borders so it’s pretty serious.

A new one that my student Eun Chae (ps. thanks for the free content!) introduced me to today is really interesting.¬† Without further adieu, here is her short essay on the topic which sums up well the ‘mystery’.

Enjoy.

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In Korea, if somebody asks who is the greatest painter in the country, most people would answer ‚ÄėKim Hong Do‚Äô. Kim Hong Do was a painter working for royalty, many artists at that time wanted to be him and sometimes they drew the same landscapes. In Japan, one of the most famous painters is ‚ÄėToshusai Sharaku‚Äô. However, scholars cannot be convinced that Toshusai Sharaku is Japanese because he suddenly appeared in 1794 and worked only for ten months and disappeared. Some scholars suggested that Kim Hong Do might be Toshusai Sharaku for several reasons and as a result, there is a hypothesis that Toshusai Sharaku, who is the one of the best three portrait painters, was actually Kim Hong Do, the greatest artist in Korea.

The strongest evidence in support of the suggestion that Kim Hong Do is Sharaku, is that both Sharaku‚Äôs productive period and Kim Hong Do‚Äôs latency period are the same. Toshusai Sharaku suddenly appeared in 1794 and painted about 140 creations for ten months. Conveniently, at that time in Korea, King Jung Jo sent Kim Hong Do to Japan as a secret agent. Therefore, many people theorize that Kim Hong Do changed his name to Sharaku and drew paintings for financing his mission. In addition, it is difficult to establish where Sharaku was born or how Sharaku died. Thus it is no wonder that scholars hypothesize that the most the most convincing suspect is Kim Hong Do.

As a secondary piece of evidence to prove that Sharaku and Hong Do are the same person, both shared a similar painting method. Kim Hong Do had his own personalized brush stroke which, at the end of the stoke, curved up. Comparing the two painters‚Äô drawings, Sharaku‚Äôs brush stroke line looks very similar to Kim Hong Do‚Äôs. Moreover, Kim Hong Do often drew Buddha with six toes in his painting, which is unusual. Surprisingly, Sharaku also drew six toes on his Buddha, exactly the same way Kim Hong Do drew.

Some of Sharaku‚Äôs poems were translated into the Korean language of that era, which was unusual. Some of Sharaku‚Äôs Japanese poems made no sense when they were read by the Japanese reader. However, when Sharaku‚Äôs poem translated into the Korean language of that time, it was perfectly comprehensible. In addition, found within one of Sharaku‚Äôs poems, there are a word ‚Äėdanwon (Žč®žõź)‚Äô , which is a reference to his nick name. Furthermore, spanning across the breadth of his various works are other subtle references to the man Kim Hong Do.

In conclusion, Sharaku and Hong Do have several things in common, including their perfectly matching productive and latency periods, their painting methods. To cement the evidence, the blazingly obvious references of Hong Do in Sharaku’s poetry and the clearly Korean literary style leave little doubt that they are one and the same However, even with the existence of such strong proof, there have not been found any official documents in either countries conclusively proving that Sharaku was indeed Hong do. This topic has become an increasingly popular topic in both Korea and Japan after both respective countries aired mystery shows alluding to the possibility of the shared identity. Neither countries boldly took a position but instead simply left the strong inferences for the viewer to decide.

Here is a series of¬†( social_experiments) performed at a downtown coffee shop in Vancouver.¬† These experiments took place between February 21st, 2011 and August 5th, 2011.¬† This was a fun experiment designed to test the integrity of the general public walking by a downtown Vancouver coffee shop on a normal day during daylight hours.¬† Originally posted at www.blenzseymour.com.

Special thanks to Tiffany and Rob who helped put this together and provided lots of laughs and raised eyebrows through the tests.

So, there I am.¬† Standing.¬† But I wish I was sitting…because I have a certain common bowel-related ailment going on.¬† But that’s more than you need to know.¬† Let’s just call it a ‘stomach ailment’.

For a few hours I endured the usual challenges associated with this ailment but on hour three I recalled an eastern European-sounding man who came into my shop to create the following dialogue:

Man: I want coffee bean.
Me: Ok… Would you like 200 or 400 grams?
Man: No. I just want coffee bean.
Me:¬† Well… we sell beans in either 200 or 400 gram quantities.
Man: How much does cost 1 bean?
Me: ONE bean??¬† WTF, MOFO! (ok, I didn’t actually say that but I thought it.) Sir, we don’t sell individual beans…but, why do you want just one bean?
Man: It fixes stomach.
Me: OH! Sounds good.¬† Here you go…

But I always wondered if the bean thing actually fixes stomach ailments.¬† I was just waiting for such a day as today.

Update 1: 11:15 – I have eaten, raw, two individual espresso beans.

Update 2: 11:45 – I have to admit it: I’m not thinking about my stomach much and my ‘general energy’ is up.¬† Was it because I haven’t had a coffee yet?¬† Is there a placebo effect kicking in?

Update 3: the next day – Some have inquired about the final results.¬† I must say that I am uncertain as to whether the fact I felt reasonably better a few hours later was because of the beans or not, but I did feel better.¬† One customer thinks it was the placebo effect.¬† I maintain that expresso beans cure all stomach ailments because here I am. Cured.

I invite anyone in our catchment area to sign up for this experiment.¬† I will administer one bean to you as necessary and until you are healed.¬† We will publish the results and you’ll be famous for sure.

Originally posted at www.blenzseymour.com, Thu, 03/03/2011 – 20:20
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It started with a gagging feeling in the back of my throat.¬† You know – the one you get if you stick your finger far enough back.¬† Usually it causes a kind of automatic ‘wwwweck!’ sound, but I digress.¬† Then, a kind of dry-eye feeling (if that’s a feeling) arose.¬† Sounds bad, but it’s actually kind of deceptive. The first time I smelled it, it had a kind of floral innocence to it.

For those of you like me who don’t know anything beyond deodorant, patchouli oil is nothing but bad.¬† However, if you research it online, you’ll find that it’s nothing but good!¬† All I can tell you is that if you want to wear that stuff in public, please go and get a permit from the city for transporting toxic material, in addition to gas masks for the rest of us who happen to spend our day working with the public.¬† Don’t make it awkward for us.¬† Just notice the great circle of emptiness forming around you.¬† Then, by using simple deduction ask yourself the following questions:

Did I fart? No.¬† Ok.¬† It’s not my fart.

Is the music from headphones bothering them? No. I’m not playing music.

Did I shower today?¬† Yes. I showered today.

Do I have body odour?¬† *Sniff* Nope.¬† No body odour (*Note – ask your friend to confirm this one)

No?¬† None of the above?¬† Ok.¬† Then ask yourself:

Is possibly the cause of the circle of emptiness around me this offensive rare-earth fermented flower oil crap called ‘patchouli’ that I’m wearing?

YES, CHAMP, IT IS!¬†¬† It’s your batch of patch and you shouldn’t wear it in confined areas like…well…in any indoor area within the Canadian borders.

Thank you so much for your cooperation and we hope you can regain those lost friends and the casualties who may have fallen as a result of allergic reactions or excessive gagging causing death.

It’s 7:45pm.¬† It’s a rare evening because I’m not at the shop so I’m sitting at my dining room table.¬† My daughter has just been put to bed.¬† Life is good.¬† Life is relaxing.¬† Then, from what must have been the depths of the earth, male voices like what I imagined a middle-eastern uprising might sound like exploded into the night.¬† Sounds like ‘YAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’¬† and ‘F@#$ YAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!’ and ‘WOOOOOOOOOOO!’ resounded and shook my hardwood floor (well, just the top is real hardwood).¬† Then came a stomping sound. Were they marching?¬† How near is this attack to my home and family?¬† Then the slamming of fists on walls and tables.¬† Were they angry?¬† Is this a cult gathering and I am to be their next sacrificial animal, ripe for the slaughter?¬† Did I prepare my will and who will get my classical guitar?

No.¬† These are hockey fans.¬† Or, more precisely, Canucks fans.¬† Why do I distinguish between a ‘hockey fan’ and a ‘Canucks fan’?

Mr. Peter ____ [insert Greek last name of your choice here..like Panagopolous], a reasonable and well-tempered man, explains with his example story:

<blockquote>So this Czech woman arrives in Canada.¬† She doesn’t know what to do but she knows that there is a big hockey game on tonight – Canada versus the Czech Republic.¬† So, she decides to go to the bar and meet some men and watch the game.¬† When she arrives at the bar, it’s empty. She was confused as she was under the impression that Canadians were hockey fans.¬† She found out that the NHL playoffs were on and no one cared about anything except when the Canucks were playing. </blockquote>

I nodded my head in agreement.¬† These Vancouverites missed the federal election debate to watch a hockey game.¬† I immediately thought about the Middle East and wondered if they would miss a national political event that could compromise their very lives to watch a game of..actually, I don’t know what sport they watch there…¬† anyways..¬† Well.. the point is, I didn’t watch the debate either, but I don’t have any TV connection.¬† If I did, though, let it be known I would have watched Iggy vs the Harpster any day of the week. I might have even let out a gentle ‘woot’ of approval if I saw my side winning.

Thankfully, Mr. Edward Garcia (@edstweets), a local broadcaster for a well-known radio station, helped bring some balance:

<blockquote>Hockey [editor note: Canuck hockey] is the ‘great bringer-togetherer of the people’.¬† Two musicians might not be able to go to a concert together because they do not both like death metal.¬† They are not like-minded about the topic and therefore cannot enjoy the event together.¬† In a similar manner, if you support the Liberals, it is difficult to go to a Conservative or NDP political rally and enjoy the event.¬† You are not in accord.¬† You are not like-minded.¬† With hockey, a Liberal can watch a game a conservative and have a good time.</blockquote>

The only problem is that I can’t seem to enjoy this game called hockey. Believe me. I tried.¬† My dad is a fan of fans.¬† He was born in Winnipeg and played hockey outside on the river (or something like that).¬† He talks about ‘icing’ and ‘body checks’ and stuff like that.¬† But… I just don’t get it.

I like hockey more than soccer, though. I’ve sat back and observed both sports on TV.¬† I even played soccer when I was a kid but the goal post fell on me during a wind storm so I gave that up.¬† But watching sports? Hockey is better because it seems faster.¬† They get more goals in less time so it is therefore better. It has more drama put into a shorter amount of time. It’s like Korean dramas versus north american soap operas.

So this milk delivery dude comes today and the first thing he says is “How about that game last night, eh?”¬† To this I could only reply, “I heard it was pretty good but it sure killed my evening sales at the store.”¬† I don’t want to say “I don’t care about your temporal and relatively meaningless game.”¬† I also don’t want to admit that I didn’t watch it in case my citizenship may be called into question followed my imminent witch-hunt with me as the scape-goat poster-boy (FYI I put hyphens all over the place there because I didn’t know which words needed them).

So, the big question is not so much ‘Why do people get hyped about hockey?’ but more about ‘Should I get hyped about the Canucks?’ or ‘Am I a loser if I don’t get hyped about the Canucks?’

In conclusion,¬† I still don’t give a rats arsenic about hockey or the Canucks but I’m open to people trying to force me into conversion.

PS. [editor’s note: Is it ok to put a PS in a blog?] Someone asked me why I don’t have a TV in my cafe and my answer was because I didn’t want to watch the game.

I won’t deny that the first two items in the title were designed to get you to read my article.¬† I actually have no idea how to win friends or influence people but you could try money as a starter.

No – what I’m writing about today is how to predict the outcome of NHL playoff games – and with perfect accuracy.¬† I found it relatively amusing to watch facial expressions when I told my customers that I was writing an article about hockey.¬† This is actually my second article about hockey.¬† As a professional sports writer (I just keep giving myself new titles as I go along here) I have to pump out the articles to keep the readers satisfied.¬† Here is my first hockey article:¬†http://waynetaylor.ca/why-the-hockey-hype/

For the following explanations, I will be using Chicago Bruins and the Vancouver Canucks.

Step 1: Don’t Watch any Hockey

Watching hockey will influence your predictions.¬† You must vigilantly remain unbiased.¬† After all – it’s hard not to feel sorry for the underdog or cheer for a team that lives near you.¬† Since I wouldn’t know a Canuck from a Mighty Duck, I am in a perfect position.¬† Many people ask if I am ‘for real’.¬†¬† When I ask ‘How’d the game turn out last night?” the countenance of most people will drop and they’ll ask if I’m serious.¬† Of course I’m serious.¬† I’m a professional NHL Playoff Predictor (NHLPP).¬† It’s acceptabl to hear information from others, but make sure that you don’t actually participate.

Step 2: Research the Political Landscape of the Two Teams

The Canucks needed to win game seven because Canada has a federal election coming next week.¬† If there weren’t games going on last week, the people would have had to take a serious look at how dismal their voting options really are.¬† They also might have noticed that somehow Jack Layton increased in popularity.¬† Surely he is friends with a few NHL team owners and asked for a favour.¬† “Hey, man.¬† I need you guys to keep these people occupied for another week while I slip in the back door and take a large share of the ridings.¬† There will be tax breaks for professional sports coming down the pipe I’m thinking…”

Step 3: Understand the Business of Hockey (where the $$$ flows)

As an unbiased hockey outsider I’ve noticed that NHL players get paid quite a bit.¬† I’m sure the owners do alright as well.¬† Where does that money come from?¬† I haven’t actually studied this but I’m guessing that the following sources produce most of the revenue and likely in this order: advertising, merchandise sales, ticket sales.¬† It was also explained to me today by a customer that all hocky team owners share the profit from the entire league.¬† If this can be validated, it would indeed substantiate the possibility of top level shoulder-rubbing and the influence thereof.¬† The dialogue might look like this:

Hockey Team Owner A: Hi! I’ve noticed your team is ahead by three games.¬† I think that means all the games stop for us if you win the next game.¬† Do you think it’s possible you could chill a bit for a game or two so we can ramp up some extra revenue?¬† Since we pool the winnings then you’ll benefit from this, too.¬† Sound good?

Hockey Team Owner B: No. I’m not interested in throwing matches for extra money.¬† PSYCH!¬† Of course, buddy! hahaha.¬† Watch how bad we’re gonna play next game.¬† Make sure your wife is watching.¬† It’ll be a lark.

Step 4: Research the Economic Landscape of Both Sides

Chicago had a tough year.¬† The impact of the recession on the auto industry in that place was devastating.¬† They needed some good news coming out of this recession. And good news they got!¬† Look at the mighty comeback!¬† I mean, they almost took the series.

Vancouver has a lot of affluent people and video game programmers.¬† Both of these groups of people seem to be serious hockey fans.¬† They have been waiting many years for a win they’ve been telling me.¬† Well, patience has paid off.¬† They get to go to round two.

The economic landscape of a city can create the necessary atmosphere to play out the pre-scheduled wins and losses as the fans work themselves up into a frenzy.

In conclusion, I’ve hogged entirely too much of your time.¬† As usual, we would love your feedback so tweet us up at @seymourblenz¬† or email blenzseymour@gmail.com.

I avoided Apple for a long time.¬† A very long time.¬† While everyone was running around snapping up their expensive, locked-down hardware for extreme prices, I enjoyed more open items like Ubuntu operating systems and Android mobile devices.

However, we didn’t have a touch device for home, more specifically, for my wife who periodically wishes to distract our daughter with it.¬† During a marriage-altering blowup, my precious throws in her lack of an IPhone or IPod Touch (or my vehement opposition to its purchase) as one reason why I suck.¬† So, I decide to give my blessings towards the purchase of an Ipod Touch because at least we won’t be stuck on some wackage-package from a cell provider…

My woes didn’t take long to surface.¬† Here they are as I discovered them:

1. You cannot expand the storage memory at all!¬† Like.. no SD slot.¬† Nothing.¬† Further, there isn’t a micro USB input! Could you be any more lame?

2. No wall, 110V outlet power charger.¬† Just the USB charger.¬† I would love to charge for 5 times longer than necessary so please make sure to not include that in the box.¬† ūüôĀ

3. They force you to synchronize with Itunes!!!¬† Like… you can’t seem to move files back and forth without the installation of Itunes.¬† I accepted that, but then I found out the real doozy – you can’t put Itunes on Linux!!¬† Now I’m just fuming.¬† Not only do they lock you out, but they also lock you in!¬† It’s like the jail of jails.¬† You Apple to get in, and you need Apple (or Windows) to get out.¬† So lame.¬† So, so, lame.

4. When I finally got Itunes downloaded and ready to install on my virtual machine in Ubuntu, I discovered yet another thing that sucks – Itunes is one of the biggest most annoying programs I have ever installed!¬† It took me like five years to finally get it installed. I think I saw 4 million registry files being edited ūüôĀ

5. Now that you finally have your precious and highly-proprietary Itunes installed on your Windows (or Mac)(but not any other OS) system, you’ll be pleased to know that the pain is only just beginning.¬† Now you have to become an Apple-Man and get yourself a IAccount.¬† This requires submitting pretty much everything about yourself to Apple headquarters.¬† Apple finalized the deal, after getting all that info from me, with a request for a credit card or some kind of payment information.¬† I assumed that you’d probably have to submit this even if you wanted free apps because they probably have a payment-portal system set up regardless of whether it’s free or not.¬† I’ll find out about that soon.

So, my first two hours of Apple have been poop-lame-sucky. I hope the actual use of this device makes me forget how black my soul got this evening ūüôĀ

PS. Any of you who think this was all ‘ok’ should seriously check yourselves in. I’m here to tell you that THERE IS A BETTER WAY.¬† Make your next device NOT Apple even if it’s just for the stuff I blogged.

Intriguing title? I had no choice. I knew that the people who really need to read this wouldn’t if I didn’t word it that way.

The inspiration for this tutorial is based on one of those ‘situations’ that didn’t need to become a ‘situation’ at all. As I was sitting there reading a tweet about my business and rolling my eyes asking myself how this is even happening, what I came to realize is that these ‘situations’ are usually caused by someone saying too much, too fast, or in the wrong way. Thankfully, there is no one more guilty of this crime than I so I feel qualified to teach the course. The great part about this teaching is that if you heed the suggestions, it can also apply to your marriage, and basically any other relationship you can think of where complaints abound. I’m going to use the customer-business example because it’s more generic and easy to understand for everyone, and because it’s based on a real-life situation.

The Cast

Bob: The employee
Fred: The customer

First, what most people don’t think about is that Fred and Bob already need each other. If Fred doesn’t buy his coffee, Bob won’t have a job. If Bob doesn’t make his coffee, Fred will go home and beat his dog. And so on, and so on. So, they are perfectly set up to build a relationship while both of their needs are met. It’s somewhat heart-warming. Except that both Bob and Fred are men and have a hard time communicating and understanding each other.

The ‘Situation’

Fred comes into the cafe and buys a coffee and sits down. He then proceeds to open his bag, remove a home-packed lunch box sandwich and begins to eat it. The cafe isn’t busy. Bob sees Fred eating the sandwich and quickly, quietly, and politely asks Fred to refrain from eating the homemade sandwich while in the cafe and points him to the display fridge where he can purchase sandwiches. Fred seems to understand, puts the sandwich away, and then a short while later leaves. One day later, Bob finds that his twitter account is full of heated messages from Fred about what a rat-bastard he is and how the service sucked Hoover-style and how the chain no longer deserves his business because he obviously isn’t appreciated. Bob is personally upset because these things are spoken of him personally, and the business owner is upset because there are these negative comments floating around with hashtags and @ symbols.

Fred’s expectations: a quiet place to eat his sandwich which should be ok since he purchased a drink
Bob’s expecations: that guests will not consume outside products in the cafe, especially ones that are available for sale in the display fridge

You may agree with Fred that it’s perfectly ok to bring a bite to eat with you into a food and beverage business, as long as you contribute to the business. You might feel that Bob is a soup nazi for enforcing such a petty policy. But what you might not know are Bob’s reasons for enforcing. What you might not understand is that there are many private schools upstairs and that the students, in the past, would swarm the cafe and eat their own lunch, ruining the atmosphere for the customers who are paying good money to not see that and who are purchasing food items from the business. Some of those students didn’t even make a purchase.

It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong in this situation. Both parties feel justified in their behaviour. What does matter, however, is the way that Fred went about dealing with his complaint. He didn’t¬† so much as voice his feelings to Bob on his way out. Even if he flipped him the bird and said, “Why didn’t you just let me eat my sandwich, loser boy!” and left, at least Bob would know he offended someone and could think about whether he acted too strongly, or maybe the way he said it was in the wrong tone, etc. He at least could have known and learned, even if he believed he was in the right. I don’t agree with flipping the bird and walking out, though, because I will not hear the business’ perspective on why they did what they do. I would miss a possibly interesting piece of the world that I know nothing about if I just flip ‘n’ walk. Maybe I was in the wrong? Maybe my parents didn’t teach me this etiquette. I think there is a better way – a face-to-face conversation with someone in management right there, right now. No one stands to gain by letting hours pass before dealing with it. By that time, the molehill has become a mountain and you’ve already plotted how you’re going to ruin this business with your flashy¬† new smart phone.

So, with that background, here is the step-by-step tutorial about how to deal with a complaint:

——————————-1. Don’t wait. Don’t leave.
Now is the best time. Later will only make it worse.

2. Face to Face
Face to face is always the best. No one can run away and body language cannot be hidden.

3. I’m not a Problem causer.
Start by making sure they know you’re not planning on bringing down their empire and that you’re only going to discuss this because you are upset and you believe the business will benefit by knowing about it instead of doing what most people do and dumping it online in hopes of hurting their business. Tell them you’re not that kind of person.

4. Stay Calm
The person may not be familiar with face-to-face confrontations. Don’t get upset even if they say something with a knee-jerk emotional reaction – no matter what. You’re in the drivers seat if you remain calm

5. Always Apologize
If you are Fred, start by apologizing for eating your home-packed sandwich in the cafe even if you don’t think it was wrong. It’s obviously the reason why Bob confronted him. Then proceed to explain why you think it should have been ok since the cafe wasn’t busy – or whatever your reasoning was.

6. Express your side
Give details about your perspective. It’s very possible the employee, manager, etc, didn’t think about it from that perspective before. Maybe they are new. Maybe they’ve seen weird stuff in the past. You really have a chance to help someone gain perspective here.

7. Listen to their side
Encourage them to express their reasoning for doing what they did. Everyone needs a podium and loves to know someone is listening. Even if you don’t think this person has anything worth listening to, you may be surprised.

8. Thank them
No matter what, once you are done expressing yourself, thank the person, no matter how much you don’t like them, for their time and for hearing you.

9. Follow up if possible
It doesn’t take much to make a quick phone call, email, or tweet to say something like “Thanks again for your time.”
I can guarantee you that 99% of business owners will be blown away that you are so awesome (they see some real losers during the day, if you didn’t know) that they will probably either a) want to be your best friend b) allow you to do the thing they just hated as long as it is out of sight or c) give you a free product and invite you back. Now you’ve made a friend instead of gain an enemy.

10. Escalate only if necessary
Some people are truly beyond discussion, rare as it is. If you did all the steps above and things still aren’t working well then it may be necessary to escalate your action to something like a public blog or tweeting the bad experience online. However, this should be your last resort. You have no idea if the person you are dealing with just had a bad personal experience, is fighting sickness, lost all their money, or a loved one, etc. They could be completely different person just hours later.

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After typing this tutorial I’ve come to realize also that I have a lot to learn about this process. Do I follow it perfectly each time? No. Am I better today than I was yesterday? Absolutely.

I truly hope this post will help someone make a friend out of a bad experience. Trust me – I’ve seen it happen more times than you will believe. Keep it real and don’t take the easy way out by talking dirt about someone online before you’ve attempted following these suggestions. It’s so tempting, I know. I’ve been there and I’m sure I’ll be there again.

And to help you remember these steps, here they are in an easy acronym: DFPCAELTFE (prounounced ‘defpcaeltuffy’)

Mom’s gonna read this for sure so I can’t say anything about her forwarded emails but you know… Moms like to forward stuff to their kids.¬† It’s like social media to them.¬† My mom is great because we’ve been pretty open about what I auto-delete and what I actually read so she pre-filters about 800% of the emails she might be able to forward.

I plan not only to share this content but also to re-read it on occasion.¬† Of course, to make sure you really get that home-cooked mommy flavour,¬† I left the intro with all the exclamation marks and the conclusion that attempts to make you feel like a criminal if you don’t forward it to others.

Got a mom?¬† You can call just copy the link of this article and email it to your her and tell them to forward it to their friends :-0

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This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!!

Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Its estimated 93% won’t forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title ‘7%’.