Ok, I’m Jealous!

I’m jealous that he can be out there having fun with no thought of home. When I’m gone, I’m still worried sick that something will go wrong or he will yell at them about their homework or forget JB’s ADHD meds (has happened) or killed a kid because they got out of bed etc. Stanley doesn’t worry when he leaves. I handle everything so nicely.

I’m like this. All the time.

I was so busy today that a friend, who had been trying to reach me for days, called me a ‘moving target’. I ran here and ran there and planned during which car trip I was going to return the phone call of which friend or colleague.

And it was really freaking inconvenient when my phone died while waiting for my car to be returned by the valet at the physcian’s office building. Messed up my ‘return call plan’. I tried to be really patient, really I did. And then a pony tail girl got out of her SUV in her pink hot pants and blocked 2 lanes of traffic to go into the building to get her friend on crutches and help her get in the car (ok, that part was noble). Then she finally sashayed over to her driver seat after giving everyone a dirty look. Up until then, I was ok because she was helping her friend. It was when she passive aggressively buckled and lit her cigarette before she moved out of the way that I reached for my purse. I might have said to the valet guy, “hmmph. She needs to go back to Missippi” (not a typo). He snorted. Maybe he can be my new boyfriend. After working and running 2 carpools and getting kids to all assorted places, I realized I had missed a call. It was the Dr’s office telling me I needed to see a surgeon because my gallbladder needs to come out. I’m not worried, just annoyed because I don’t have time.Jumping Bean informed me that she turned my light off and put my Kindle down last night. My son said that I keep starting sentences and stopping…. Can’t remember what I was going to say. My kids are pitying me.

Then I looked down in the parking lot and saw

Yes, it happened. I became that woman. The woman with the mismatched shoes.

I know. I need a pedicure, baaaad.

Plus, I think it might have been unprofessional when a colleague asked me what they

could do about a combative agitated patient that refuses his psych meds.

I’m hoping, “stun gun” doesn’t come back to haunt me.

And Stanley is out making monkey love with this new woman.

couldn’t resist. I needed a laugh and I am rolling belly laughing.

Whatever. Party on from the Cuckoo’s Nest.

More For You

About the Author

This custody arrangement is somewhat new and I recognize can only be used in special circumstances. I know there are many instances in which it won’t work. For example, if your ex is immature, jerkish, a liar, bat shit crazy or just all around such a dumb ass that they must be avoided for your own sanity, then forget about it!

Comments

(Not sure if my last try went through – you can delete it if a half message came through). I was just talking about this to a friend last night: my own beer monkey (he’s not into beer, but there are other similarities) doesn’t even think about doctor’s appointments, or groceries, or chores, and he just lives in the moment. In our post-split life, he plays many many hours of video games and watches a lot of TV (when he’s with our daughter or not), and most days I don’t even sit down because of chores and homework projects and meals and grocery shopping etc, and I find myself really frazzled, and he doesn’t appear to have anythign to even BE frazzled about. I like being responsible….but it’s wearing. And it doesn’t leave much time for self care. All that to say….I hear ya, sister.