An amaize-ing veggie and super water!

President Obama seems like he golfs more than Tiger Woods these days and it’s starting to drive us nuts. So we decided to peel away from the links in search of Great Truths of the Vineyard. That didn’t work, but we found out almost-important stuff like this!

The oasis

Did you know that the coldest and freshest water mankind has ever tasted comes out of a bubbler inside the West Tisbury Town Hall?

We were so stunned by the quality that we had to take a picture of the fountain like it was Kim Kardashian. Then a local policeman walked by and asked if anything was wrong. We just told him about our watery joy and he said he knows exactly what we mean and he goes there just for the water too!

Ear to the ground

The world is full of corn: in cans, in comedians, popped at movie theaters, flattened into chips, filling silos across this great nation. Sometimes you can take it for granted and say things like, “corn is boring, corn is chewy, corn reminds me of the Dust Bowl, and that was really rotten.”

But the corn grown at Morning Glory Farm will swell the heart of any Corn Grinch. The ears are like the ears of the Mona Lisa, if she was made of delicious corn. Or something like that. One bite and the perfect buttery, salty sweetness makes you want to start a bluegrass band. The corn practically jumps off the cob and plays the banjo! Best in the world in our humble and corny opinion.

Serenity now!

Let’s be frank: we like Cape Cod better than Martha’s Vineyard. That’s just the way it is. Maybe it’s because we’re always rushing here, chasing the president and beeping at people, or stuck in the five-way intersection in Vineyard Haven, a black hole of fumy desperation.

But friends, there is a solution, a place where the open road and the stone walls and the green fields roll by like a Norman Rockwell daydream. Hey was that a real cow? Yes, good old Middle Road in Chilmark is perhaps the most thoroughly soothing thoroughfare in world history. Even if your car is making raspy steering noise and you just spilled coffee on your pants.

Vacation libations

If the Obamas need to take the edge off, the newly opened Beetlebung in Oak Bluffs can quench the First Thirsts. At night, they roll out a president-inspired drink menu with some intriguing ingredients:

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