Daughters wedding

I've had Parkinson's for 3 years, have learnt to cope by keeping away from stressful situations, organising work so I have few surprises. Physical stuff isn't a problem, I have a tremor and can't move my left hand but work around it.

My daughter decided for a do it yourself wedding and my wife and i tried to dissuade them but they were determined. The wedding is being organised from our house including catering. Guests are being housed locally, we live in the country with no hotel etc.

the problem is that i get irritated very easily, my children hadn´t realised how ill i actually am. i feel that my presence is ruining everything for them. i have withdrawn into my room but now feel even worse about the situation. my children now can see how much i have changed and that makes them sad. should i battle on or should i go away and let them get on with it?

If they are organising the wedding I'm sure they will cope well. If you can, just sit back and let them get on with the work! The prerogative of parents of grown up children I like to think.

They were already aware of your PD and how you and your wife felt about the occasion so must have thought about it. I'm sure they would not want you to feel you had to stay out of the way in your own home.

I do know what you mean about them not fully understanding how you are now, I'm sure my children don't. It's not that they don't care. Just that Mum's always been around and still looks pretty much the same so......... They're busy with their own lives. I too get easily irritated, often when I'm tired. My husband is very understanding but I still feel guilty for sometimes being short with him.

Both our son and daughter had DIY weddings, which they organised themselves, (admittedly before I was PD diagnosed) and they were lovely occasions, much more personal and memorable than ones organised by a "professional".

Hope you and your family have a wonderful day and make lots of lovely memories. Enjoy you place as father of the bride.

Pleased to hear your daughter's wedding went well. Everyone expects a few tears.....I'm sure people understood. The stress of it all, beforehand, hopefully has passed too. You did the right thing by keeping your head down and letting them get on with it. My son gets married next year, but hasn't chosen a venue yet!

We all get grumpy and snappy at times , we are coping with a lot and sometimes its the hair that breaks the camels back.

I dont know this for sure but if you are hiding your feelings and not feeling relaxed in your own home this is going to make you more stressed out. When stressed or depressed can get a bit like an old crocodile, no need to hide away , try and explain why you feel you have to withdraw etc.

Maybe counselling will help, it can offer a means to talk to a professional to relieve that tension, may be de stress a little. Have a chat to your gp or pdnurse or the helpline.

You are still a great dad and husband just a bit grumpy eh? maybe meds for depression or anxiety counselling may help, but please dont lock yourself away, theres a life to be lived just look for a different route.

Great news about the wedding. So glad it all went well for you and your family. I think everyone sheds a tear or two when their child marries (wether they admit it or not!). Huge amount of emotion involved all round. Best whishes in getting back to normal now.