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Atari 2600 – Bachelor Party / Gigolo

If you’re a hip dude like me you probably saw the AVGN episode about porn games for the Atari 2600.
Two of the mentioned games are right here.
And they kinda sucks (no pun intended).

Bachelor Party is like Breakout but flipped on the side.
Also, the ball is a naked dude with a raging erection, the bricks are nude woman and the paddle is a breast (I guess).
While the game plays just fine and is funny for about two seconds, there is a big flaw that made me switch it off almost immediately.
Once the dude hits the back wall he goes into hyperspeed-mode making it almost impossible for you to catch him with the ‘way too small’ breast-paddle.
That should be the point where you’re wondering why you play this instead of the million better clones.
And why is the intro music a shoddy rendition of ‘Auld Lang Syne’?
The only thing that’s more confusing is the next game.

I have no idea what’s going on in Gigolo.
The game starts with red dudes coming out of jail and moving into different houses.
It goes on forever and you can do nothing but watch. Great start.
After that you have to touch a grey block that gives you money (ATM?) which allows you to enter the houses and hump the escaped prisoners by pressing up and down.
Yeah, you actually pay them for sex.
Beware of the police that roam the streets and put you in prison and a robber who steals your money.
I have no idea what the goal here is and I honestly don’t even care.Gigolo is ugly, sleep-inducing and every time you go to jail it makes this loud, drony sound that will hsatter your eardrums after a while. A real nightmare.Skip it!