Wednesday, June 15, 2016

A Few News Stories I Would Like to See

Since I expressed a lack of
interest in the predominant news of the current cycle in my last, I thought it
might be a public service to mention a few news stories which I would actually enjoy
reading.(And no, if the Onion or the
Toast or any such interesting website named after an item normally ingested
before being digested is the source, it
doesn’t actually count.One must
draw a line somewhere.)

Libertarian Party Nominates
Socially Conservative Candidate

Paul
Ryan explains that, following GOP collapse, boyhood fascination with Ayn Rand made
party a “logical choice” for him, and him a “logical choice” for party.

Since
we don’t know Farsi, we don’t actually know what’s written on the flags either.

ISIS Eaten by Army of Black Bears

Special
“Black Ops Down Under” Mission was best-guarded secret of U.S.-Australian alliance.

Sheryl Sandberg to Retire and
Care for Children; Will Be Replaced by Black Bear Named Bo

Bo
swears he’s not carnivorous; has stayed away from children ever since that
unfortunate incident with vegetarian Goldie Lochs (“Was she Scotch or
Jewish?I don’t even know …”); regular
attendant of AA meetings since 1994.