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Thursday, 3 February 2011

Gordy, you plonker!

In an apparent attempt to form the first ever Del-boy government, our illustrious leaders have been selling dodgy plastic bomb detectors to other governments. It's not the Cameroid's fault entirely although it took his lot almost a year to work out why certain arms traders were wearing sheepskin coats and trading from a battered suitcase on street corners.

These bomb detectors could not detect five hundred pounds of Semtex in a big box marked 'Caution: Semtex' and surrounded by sniffer dogs acting like junkies who have just found a kilo of smack in their Christmas stocking. These detectors are blatant and obvious junk. You'd get better results if you used a bomb detector you found in the little plastic capsule inside a Kinder egg. Hell, just stick a wire in the plastic capsule and there you go.

The machines allegedly work on ‘molecular magnetic resonance’ and the wand points to the suspected substance, just like a water diviner.

Who but an idiot politician would fall for 'molecular magnetic resonance', when an MRI machine occupies a large room and these handheld devices have a car ariel sticking out of them? Did nobody wonder why doctors can't use this miniature magnetic resonance technology in a GP surgery? What were all these government scientists doing? Oh, we know what they were doing. Chasing new ways to demonise smokers, drinkers and fat people. None can be spared for any actual science any more.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - SOD THE YANKS! They were stupid enough to introduce prohibition, weren't they? Now they are doing the same thing but more slowly. They will go too far as usual.