KoopaTV embraces entertainment as both a hobby and a way to present information, and has published over a thousand articles on the videogame industry.We also give out free Nintendo stuff as per the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program, so check that out!

Search KoopaTV!

Translate

E-mail Subscription

Friday, July 11, 2014

Beware Mario The Goomba Groper

There's something in the air... and it feels like fear...There's something in the night... and it seems like terror...There's someone in your bed... and it looks like you...

(Picture a bigger bed.)

Life will be simpler now... the only thing missing...

Will be you.

That disgusting, evil man keeps creating new lows. His latest misdeed? Well, I don't know. He does too many for me to keep up with. But a recent one?

He kills to be you.

You can see him in the act. He kills a Goomba and wears their corpse. Apparently it's hollow in the inside... or...

He stuffs his head inside... and... eats their brains. And then he does horrible, horrible things to the other Goombas. He can't control himself. Like...

...this guy.

Mario rams his head through the Goomba's bottom to get inside the Goomba's head, where he eats their insides. That's disgusting behaviour. It's bad enough he kills Goombas on a large-scale, but then he does disgusting acts to their dead bodies? ...Hey. You out there. You humans. Say there was this human guy. Say he killed another human guy. Then he put his head through the dead guy's ass, somehow creating a large enough opening for that.

As he makes his way up the body, he's just eating organs and stuff until he gets to the brain. He eats that too.

Then he goes and kills other humans while wearing the first victim's body. You would say this guy is a psychopath, would you not? A horrible person. A terrorist. A menace to society. Some might even declare him a Jihadist!

We have to maintain a certain level of respect for the dead. Those who disrespect the deceased are cast out as villains. See: Trayvon Tyson's Punch-Out!! and how the titular character actually is brought into the world of the game. But even the main antagonist of that game didn't do it because of sexually perverted impulses. Unlike... the subject of this article.

He's not only a genocidal murderer, but he enjoys sticking his head where it doesn't belong.

...Literally.

People... afraid to sleep.

Afraid of family members...

People afraid of themselves.

Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna run?
Where you gonna hide?

Nowhere.

'cause there's no one like you left.

Ludwig started the intellectual movement denouncing the mustachioed murderer, and he's been continuing the campaign against him for over a decade now. Any sign of support his way would be well-appreciated! Consider donating to your local Goomba orphanage or Koopa blog.

Yes they do! I mean, did you see the gif? The Goomba straight-out saw Mario own his partner and claim his head as a mask. And like nothing, he seizes his pursuit against Mario. Natural selection at work if you ask me.

We embrace your comments. No identification required, but if you don't comment as Anonymous, then you will be entered into the KoopaTV Loyalty Rewards Program and may win prizes if you keep up activity!Expect a reply between 1 minute to 24 hours. We advise you to receive an e-mail notification for when we do reply. Also, see our Disclaimers.

Spamming is bad, so don't spam. Spam includes random advertisements and obviously being a robot. Our vendor may subject you to CAPTCHAs if you are not using a Google account. We're not happy about that, either.