Get moving. Regular physical exercise, especially exercise that you truly enjoy, boosts both your energy and your mood, and it reinforces your power to take charge of your own health and well-being.

Step out of your comfort zone. Learn a new language or computer program, or start a new project at home or at work. By embracing the unfamiliar, you’ll strengthen your capacity to handle all sorts of new situations. The more you challenge yourself in different ways, the more resilient you will become.

Clear the weeds that are choking your optimism. When you notice yourself thinking pessimistic or cynical thoughts, take a moment to step back and reevaluate. See if you can look at the situation from a different perspective–one that is kinder to you and allows for a more constructive way of handling the difficulty.

Get to the heart of the matter. People who have endured a crisis and use the setback to further a cause–such as a mother who works tirelessly to raise funds for the illness that took her child–find that this newfound direction and energy can add dimension to their lives.

Reorder your priorities. Ask yourself: How do you plan to spend your time differently now? Who are the people you want to spend time with? Are there new ways you can use your strengths in the service of what’s important to you now?

Think about what you would do if you had only a year to live. Write down what you’d want to do, what conversations you’d want to have, the person you’d want to be. Read it over and consider the steps you can take to achieve those goals.

Find your tribe. Most hospitals and some community centers and health clinics host various support groups. Gathering with others who are struggling with similar issues can be a tremendous source of support.

If you can’t find the right group, create one. Go online, talk to friends, and set up regular meetings (either virtual or in person) to stay in touch and help each other.

Let people help. Good friends can cook meals, babysit, or run errands for you.

Forgive. Let go of toxic resentment and judgement–but acknowledge that you don’t condone the actions of the person who hurt you.

Don’t feel like a doormat. You can forgive someone but also take steps to prevent that person from taking advantage of you in the future, or to prevent leaving yourself vulnerable in a similar situation.

Decide: Is it serving you to hold on to anger? Does resentment toward your spouse (or ex) really help you in any way?

Do your emotional homework. What changes have you made to prevent a recurrence of what took place? What have you learned about yourself that will help you in future situations?

Most important, forgive yourself. If you notice self-criticism seeping in, take a moment to breathe, then acknowledge that you made a mistake and that you are fallible, just like everyone else. Try telling yourself, “Even though I did (what ever the mistake was), I still accept myself.”

Air your feelings, even if only to yourself. For instance, say “I want to run him over with a truck!” This allows you to observe and give shape to your own emotions.

Confide is someone. Don’t isolate yourself. This does not mean you should pour your heart out to everyone who casually asks how your’re doing, but do let your fair down with the people who have a genuine interest in your well-being.

Start a journal or a blog. Studies show that writing about a traumatic events is another way of letting it out that can help minimize the chances of getting sick or becoming depressed. The more you write about the situation, the more your negative emotional responses to the memory diminish. Acknowledging and expressing your anger, sadness, or fear through writing allows you to release the emotion.

All of us, no matter how blessed and lucky we may be, have experienced trauma, loss, and adversity–or we will. The death of someone we love, the end of a marriage, a frightening illness, financial insecurity. How we cope with a crisis, however, determines whether we become overwhelmed, depressed or ill–or if we emerge stronger, with greater confidence and wisdom. Yes, that can happen.

Imagine a sturdy, flexible tree in a windstorm. Buffeted by gale-force winds, it bends but doesn’t break. Its strong roots keep it firmly anchored to the earth. After the storm, it returns to its prior state and continues to thrive. Just like that tree, you can cultivate the emotional flexibility needed to weather any crisis by following these six steps that will be covered in detail over the next few days: Acknowledge your feelings, erase all blame, draw a circle of support, look for ways to find meaning, believe that you can bounce back, connect with your spiritual side.