Watch Waffles life after the Ex, will he die of masturbation, some crazy date, or alcohol poisoning with the marines

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Yeah, Yeah, Happy Birthday

"Yes, now you are another year older…almost as old as the white beard makes you look! HA! Lol" - My Wife

Another year another clusterfuck so what's new. Happy Birthday Waffles. Send all donations to Fulltilt poker (Maniac57), blah blah blah. Call me for birthday shots? Do you not read the Tao Of Fear!?!?! The Waffles Report? Why the fucking hell not? Get there and do it! It may save your life in the coming revolution!

Played poker last night. Owned a dude. Won my SNG. It was not even close as I had 7k chips with like 5 people left. I used the patented Waffles Gutter Jam move. TWICE! What is the Gutter Jam? Shit you have never used the gutter jam? Well I will give you a birthday present then. You have a hand like 45o. The flop comes 37K. Now you have a nasty gutter draw. Your opponent bets. You float him and *BING* you hit your gutterball on the turn. Instead of slow playing it you just jam your whole stack in as fast as possible. You will be AMAZED at how many people call you. After you scoop their chips your way you can say "You just got fucked by the "Waffles Gutter Jam"(c) you Bitch!". Your friends will all be amazed. Peace.

As for the revolution, forget it. Way too many Sheeple out there for it ever to happen. I mean do you expect people who haven't got a pot to piss in yet still support getting rid of the inheritance tax so Paris Hilton can have even more money will ever have the balls to revolt?