Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Why Have a Husband?

Today is my 31st Wedding Anniversary.

I guess I should say "our" 31st Wedding Anniversary. Hubby and I have been married for 31 years today.However, I ask this question - Why Have a Husband? - because of a recent interchange Hubby and I had.I had a conference in Seattle which is about 20 miles from where we live. Since the conference started at 8am (and you know I am NOT a morning person), I had this bright idea that I would book a hotel room near the conference and spend the night so I could just walk to the conference and avoid having to get up really early and deal with rush hour traffic. It just so happens that the famous Edgewater Hotel was near the conference venue. I have always wanted to stay there. I mean if it was good enough for Led Zeppelin and The Beatles, it was good enough for me and I wanted to experience a little of that. It was the site of The Beatles fishing from their room and Led Zeppelin's infamous "shark incident" (and if you don't know about the infamous shark incident, click on this link).

However, for this plan to work, Hubby would have to drive me both ways. He couldn't stay over because, unlike me, Hubby has a job and somebody has to stay with the dogs. When I told Hubby about this great plan, he balked. He knew that another option I had was to take the bus that was going down so why should he have to make two trips into Seattle, one of which would be in rush hour?And that is when I replied, "What good is it to have a husband if he won't do what I want him to? If he doesn't do everything he can to make my life as easy as possible?"So he kind of said, "Well, if you put it that way..."And I said, "When you come to pick me up we can do Happy Hour." (You have to throw them a bone from time to time).So that little incident made me ask, why have a husband? What's a husband good for, especially if he won't do what you ask him to do?I mean, why put up with taking care of another person, having to listen to his opinions about decorating and his bitching about how much money you are spending or that the TV is too loud after he goes to bed, having to do his laundry, entertain him because he really doesn't have that much going on, cook his meals, clean his house and, you know, all of that other stuff, if he won't comply to your brilliant ideas and requests?We working women no longer need men to support us. Most of us are liberated enough to go to movies alone, pump our own gas, mow the lawn ourselves and take out the garbage.So why have a husband?So with much deep thought, I have come up with a list of what a husband is good for.---Killing bugsWhen my son was little he heard a ruckus in the bathroom and came to investigate. Hubby was in there killing a large scary bug of some kind. When my son asked what he was doing, I told him and said, "When you are a man, you will kill bugs for your wife." He burst into tears and said, "I don't want to be a man!"Sorry, husbands. Killing bugs for your wives is on your job description (or if you are particularly humane, capturing them and setting them free outside).---Taking out the garbageI know I can do this myself, but as long as he's there, he might as well do it (one less housekeeping chore for me).---Running to the store when you realize you don't have a key ingredient for a recipe you are right in the middle ofYour hands are full of flour and you look like hell and you don't have baking powder (I know, you should have checked all of the ingredients before getting started). But Hubby is right there sitting in front of the TV watching football with his hand down his pants, so why shouldn't he get up and get you that baking powder?---Putting the lights on the Christmas treeThough every year I threaten to do it myself. However, we have created a Christmas tradition. He puts the lights on wrong, I bitch at him, he threatens me ("Why don't you do it yourself, then?! Cripes!"), I bitch some more, then I put the ornaments on the tree and we both admire it.

---Getting up on the roof to clean the skylightsEven though the last time he did that, he fell off the ladder. I'm afraid of heights, so no way am I climbing up on the roof!---Travel PlansI tell him where I want to go and what I want to do and he makes it happen. I know I could just as easily make the reservations and buy the plane tickets, but why should I when he is a know-it-all, take-charge type? He likes to put the notebook for our itinerary together and all of the other little OCD stuff he likes to do. I want him to feel important.

---TIVO and ComputersI often wonder what it would be like if something happened to Hubby and I had to connect all of that stuff to a network myself and keep it running properly. I would be afraid to move because then who would set up my TV and computer just the way I want it? I would probably just stay where I am forever and they would find me here sitting in my chair, covered in cobwebs, holding the remote.---Making sure the house is well-stocked with wineThat one is a no-brainer.After all is said and done, having a husband is a good thing because when you get old and wrinkly and fat he still has to love you.Because remember when we were young, smooth-skinned and thin, we asked him, "Will you love me forever and ever and ever, even when I am old, wrinkly and fat?"And what could he say?And then we said, "Promise?"

Happy Anniversary, Hubby!

Thanks for Reading!

See you Friday

for my review of the new movie"Hot Pursuit"

and

The Week in Reviews

(What to See or Read and What to Avoid)

and the latest on

"My 1001 Movies I Must See Before

I Die Project."

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4 comments
:

Oh god I loved this list!! Making me laugh and snort. I have often wished I would have stayed married when I am trying to keep this house in (outside) order...But that's pretty much the only time I wish that.

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A mostly humorous blog from a retired Baby Boomer librarian, a regular gal who fearlessly reviews movies and books for regular folks but also will occasionally rant about food, fashion, pop culture and whatever strikes her fancy at any given time. It's Life in Review from the perspective of a Woman of a Certain Age!
Find new movie and book reviews every Friday and the occasional rant about life and other topics on the occasional Tuesday. Like me at http://www.facebook.com/rosythereviewer/