When Self-Care And Helping Others Collides

Part of my self-care journey has been connecting with other women, getting in touch with the earth, and getting involved in healing practices. It's been such a nice break to put politics and race aside sometimes and read about root work, astrology, and moon phases. I'm currently teaching myself to read tarot cards!

Not only has it been a nice break but it's connected me to parts of my culture I never knew I needed before. It's shown me how kind my people are and filled with light even at the darkest moments. Giving lifetimes of servitude and care. Reminds me of slave women nursing and caring for the very children who would grow up to keep them enslaved. The very child who went on to birth children that are now ruling our country and destroying us. We kept you alive.

In my journey and learning I realized that I am an Empath. So basically I have the ability to perceive the emotional and mental state of others. Sometimes it's almost as if I can see the negative energy hanging on their shoulders even if they have a smile on their face. It's about the eyes, the tone of their voice, the inflection of certain words they speak, or their body language.

This perceptiveness that I have Is most often with those I am closest to. I've known I had this gift for a long time but I didn't know what it was actually called until recently through research and the help of a witch friend prompting questions for me to answer.

So I understand now why Psychics have called me a healer, or how when my friends are sad I feel it in my bones. I'm often used by some of them to help dissect if the person they are with has abusive tendencies. I can normally see past the mask the abusive partner puts up to trick everyone. I grew up with parents that both wore masks so I got good at understanding what was behind them. Unfortunately tho, this gift doesn't work on myself and those I'm dating. Only on others. Probably because under the mask lies the actual person and finding the person there that I care about can lead to compassion and purposeful failure to see the truth.

I sometimes have to ignore the signals I am picking up from the other people because I have no space left in my body for their emotions. When i am being crushed is when I notice some friends telling me that I turned "cold". Or suddenly saying I'm never there for them just because I can't be there in that moment. The thing about Empaths is that we can physically be there with you but we can not always be there emotionally to support you. You shouldn't expect that, we are people to.

Some common things that happen to Empaths are feelin other people's energies so heavily that we can become sick or suffer from random pain often, we sometimes feel like we need to carry everyone and their emotional pain, we can sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, we are story tellers and love keeping others entertained, we can feel emotionally or physically overwhelmed in crowds, people easily confide in us, some of us have lived very traumatic lives so to counter that we break ourselves to uplift others so that they never have to know that same pain.

Sometimes random strangers will approach me and talk about personal things. I always find it strange but I listen, taking on that energy to. Being this sensitive, we often have trouble talking about our own emotions because we carry the emotions of so many others in us. Their energies weighing us down daily. I sometimes need to sage myself, and put crystals and heavy blankets on my body just to feel like I've crushed some of their weight out. Just to be able to sleep. Many of us come from environments were we couldn't speak up about anything we were feeling, therefore furthering our ability to put our own interests aside and help others.

A twisted gift this can be.

But this brings me to the point of this entire post. Some of us in this world, label or not, are just caring people. We will put our own comfort, mental healthy, and happiness aside to raise the happiness levels of those we care about. We still need to learn to go first sometimes.

It's very easy for people like us to be taken advantage of. Even by people that don't realize they are taking advantage of us. It's important throughout life to step back and look at your own intentions sometimes. Sit in the back seat and let someone else drive this time. Just like it is important for us, the energy sensitive ones, to step up and say it's our turn to drive. That we are important to and that boundaries must be set. We should ask ourselves why we always need to save everyone. Asking that sometimes prompts me to participate in some form of self care. It's when I realize that I'm actually the one I need to save.

So I'm saying that that person in your life that always does shit for you, checks on you, deeply cares about you, yeah them, appreciate the hell out of them. Be grateful they are in your lives. Don't think people like them, like us, come into your lives all the time, you were drawn to us for a reason so don't waste our energy. Check on us to. We need you even when you feel like you only need us. Ask us how we are. Don't suck the healers dry. Don't demand from those who you know love you too much to ever say no. Let us say no.

This post is a reminder to leave people better then when you found them. I have left relationships because they aged my energy. Don't be that person.

As I grow I learn more every day how to protect my energy. Instead of building walls to keep people out, I'm trying to build sympathy for myself. That way my own energy and emotions will be what I channel and recognize as strongly I do everyone else's.

Protecting my own energy is a form of self care.

Giving myself breaks and time to heal in between caring for others is self care.

Saying "No" sometimes can be a form of self care.

Saying yes to the right people in the right moments can be a form of self care.

Quote I found:

“Good people are like candles; they burn themselves up to give others light.”