The false assumption behind compromise

- Imagine a late afternoon,it's the end of a very long day.The two parties involved are Stan and Vivienneand they're both already tiredwhen they came into the negotiation.They're trying to negotiate a property deal.Stan had drawn his line in the sandand so had Vivienne.It was a stalemate.Neither one would budge,they stared each other down.No one wanted to break eye contact.Is it two power brokersnegotiating a multi mullion dollar real estate deal?Or is it two five year olds,bickering over a spot in the sandbox?Well it doesn't actually matter because you see,the dynamics are the same.

We start learning how to negotiate very early in life.But unfortunately, a lot of peopleare given some bad training.So let's think about two kids in the sandbox,if their teacher came upon themwhile they were bickering,it's very likely,that she would've tried to teach them aboutthe art of compromise.She might say something like,well now Stan, you're gonna get this part.Vivienne, you get this part.Do you see how it works?You both just take a little bit lessand everybody's happy.

The only problem is,they're not happy.You see, compromise doesn't workespecially in sales situationsbecause when your buyer walks away unhappy,it's effects every aspect of your relationshipand every deal you do from that point forward.Sometimes it helps to look at visual.Let's say for example,your buyer wants a 30 day trial.But you wanna close a longer deal.You're likely to settle for something in the middle.Or maybe it's money.Your buyer wants to spend 100 thousand,but your boss says it has to be 120 thousand.

Your buyer is on one side,you're on the other side.There's nowhere for that deal to gobut that 110 thousand dollar point in the middle.Or maybe something close to that.That's the logical place for it to go.But it's not actually the best place to go.How come?Because we've whittled the whole deal downto that one single element.You see, that puts you in a spotwhere you and your buyer are both defending your turfand that doesn't set the stagefor a productive relationshipor any future business.

So you wind up being like those kindergartners,you only care about this moment and this asset.'Cause here's your reality,a buyer who's had to compromiseis always looking for ways to win that back.They're always finding faults,or they hit you even harderwhen renewal time comes around.'Cause you see, traditional compromiseis actually a tactical approach.And it puts both partiesin the very worst possible brain space.You start by locking down your position.

That ignites your lizard brain, your amygdala.It's not very smart, because once it kicks init takes you to a place of fearand deficit thinking.And the same thing happens to your buyer.You both end up in this win lose mentalitywhether you like it or not.And so what happens?Your brain creates this false dichotomoy.So there's only a couple of options,stalemate or caving in.So how do you break out of this?There is a better way to negotiate.There's a more strategic alternative.

But it starts with a different belief system.So instead of focusingjust on short term tactics,your job as a noble purpose negotiator,is to identify, in a more holistic way,what does your buyer actually want to accomplish?Think about it like a triangle.Your buyer's on one sideand you're on the other.And instead of likepushing and pulling from one side to the other,you focus on a bigger solution.Something that brings out the best in both of you.You elevate the conversation,because you want to identifywhat is their buyer actually trying to accomplishfor their company,for their family, for themselves?Getting a lower price is usually just a tactic.

You wanna identify their true end game.You want to name and claim what I call,your buyer's true and noble purpose.Your job as a selleris to understand your own noble purposeand to understand and validate you buyer's.Because you see the secretof being a successful noble purpose negotiatoris twofold.First and foremost,you must embrace the power of and.You have to rise abovean either or way of thinking and understandthat there is an opportunityto create something better.

This requires the second thing.Which is you have to get comfortable with uncertainty.You have to unravel that compromise mindset.'Cause you see, there's a spotin the middle of this triangle.That's the place of uncertainty.That's where you have a different kind of conversationwith your buyer.Where you lose your attachmentto preconceived outcomes.That's that creative spotwhere you and your buyercreate that bigger better solution for both of you.But you don't knowwhat that solution is gonna look likeuntil you get started.

Now let's be realistic,it's challenging to get your buyer into that spot,but it can be done.And it can be done by you.So I'm gonna give you some language to usethat will help you open up your buyerto this kind of strategic,more engaging conversation.

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Author

Released

8/17/2016

Bestselling author and sales coach Lisa Earle McLeod has helped companies like Google and Roche build passionate, purpose-driven sales organizations. In this course, sales professionals will learn how to negotiate with the best interests of their organization and their customers at heart, by uncovering their own noble purpose. Lisa reveals the surprising truth behind why compromise doesn't work; instead, she explains how to ask questions that reveal information about the buyer—and help you decide when you can negotiate and when you can't. She also identifies common negotiation traps and ways to negotiate that don't just close the sale today, but build longer-term relationships for tomorrow.