Make your happiness a priority in relationship decision

QUESTION: How do you know when to stay or when to leave a relationship?

I have been married for 25 years and have three grown children.

My husband and I were never really that close but the distance between us has increased over the years.

Neither of us is happy but there is a kind of contentment in our relationship.

Part of me wants to stay because of the security and so we can grow old together to enjoy our grandchildren.

The other half of me wants to take a risk that I can manage alone and maybe even fall in love and experience passion.

We talk about the situation every so often and it improves for a few days.

But recently I'm finding my motivation to work at our relationship is waning.

ANSWER: This is a tough predicament, and I can't tell you whether to stay or leave.

Your frustration and apathy when you talk about such a massive issue, and yet having nothing change will not lead to any answers.

Have you been specific with him about what you want to change exactly?

You need to weigh the pros and cons with leaving or staying - and there are both to each option.

At some point, you must take care of your own happiness.

Your children will cope, and love you, regardless of the choice you make.

And you can still enjoy your grandchildren, whether you're married or not.

If you have an amicable split - an understanding that you've simply grown too far apart, and now choose to live separately, you might find you can still be friends and still enjoy your family together.

Not everyone knows when it's time to leave.

It may be best that you both seek professional advice before making any decisions.

Take your family into consideration but ultimately you should do what will make you happy.