Random thoughts from a carpetbagger living in the Great Republic of Texas

Thursday, July 24, 2014

The Sauce Must Have Been Good

I recently read an online discussion
about restaurant dining on a newspaper website. One person wrote
about a time he left a 1% tip: drinks didn't arrive until after the
entrees, one entrée came out 30 minutes before the other one, the
second order was completely wrong although the server insisted other
wise and they had to wait an hour for their check. Sure that may
justify no tip, but what amazed me, was how long people will actually
put up with poor experiences before being pushed hard enough to fight
back. If I have to wait more than five minutes to order a drink
after I'm seated, I start muttering, "who do I have to kill to
get a drink in this place?"

That story reminded me of an incident that happend in our restaurant:

It took a good year and a half before I
finally decided that our restaurant was going to make it. I would go
home after a successful day then come in the next day wondering if
any customers would show up. During this time, as guests were
leaving, they frequently asked if I was the owner. I would
begrudgingly answer affirmatively while bracing myself for a slap in
the face, a kick to the groin, or a challenge to a duel, or at least
a firm tongue lashing. But probably 95% of the time, they had really
nice things to say about the restaurant. 4% of the time, they might
have valuable constructive criticism while the other 1% challenged me
to duels. I had gotten used to feeling the love.

One Saturday night, I came in about
5:00. Only one table was occupied by a family of four in the corner.
I didn't pay much attention as I went about my business getting
ready for the dinner rush. As they got up to leave, I happened to be
standing near the door. The father of the family asked if I was the
owner. I smiled brightly and almost held out my hand ready to be
kissed.

"This restaurant is a disgrace,"
he started. "I've never had a worse meal in my life. The food
was cold and way too expensive. My wife's chicken was raw!"

Like a punching bag hanging from the
ceiling I kept swinging back for more. Finally, I managed to jump in
and tried to solve the problem. "I'm very sorry to hear that.
Did you talk to the server and have the chicken replaced?"

"No, we didn't."

"Well let me get you something
else. I would hate for you to leave hungry."

"I wouldn't touch your food if you
gave me a million dollars."

(I guessed he wouldn't be enthused
about a complimentary gift certificate.)

"We don't want anything," he
continued. "We just wanna get out of here so we can go tell our
friends about it."

They stormed out the door as I
struggled to find anything to say. I ran back to the kitchen and
found the server who was one of our best.

"What happened? Did they say
anything to you?" I asked.

"No, everything was fine. They
never complained. They weren't talkative, but I had no idea there
was a problem."

We went back to the table and inspected
the plates. They were empty, no sign of any leftover half-eaten,
much less raw chicken. I walked back to the office and sat down
trying to comprehend what had happened. The best I could figure was
that they were hoping to get salmonella poisoning for a lawsuit
payday or just to prove some sort of point.

That day I realized that complainers
are nothing to worry about or fear; their problems are usually easily
fixed. It's the people that have a bad experience and walk out
without saying a word that are the ones to worry about.

Luckily, their Facebook campaign (if
they indeed waged one) didn't hurt our business. But at the time I
thought, "Yes, please tell your friends that you were served raw
chicken. And that you just went ahead and ate it anyways."

Oh...I smiled as I read this...I knew what was coming. Having spent many years myself in the restaurant scene, both upfront and in the kitchen your story is familiar. There are people who are professional diners; professional holidaymakers...they make it their life's work to complain...the worse kind are those who sue or try to sue...anything to get a free meal or holiday. They're incredible...not in a nice way.

One time years ago when I was working tables in a restaurant in Brisbane, a diner, a real little up-start complained about his meal etc., as he was leaving, declaring he wasn't going to pay for his meal, a meal he had devoured...like your diners...his plate was empty of food. I towered over him and stood my ground, staring him in the eye until he was forced to look away. He paid and then spat the words out at me as he turned to leave; "I'm from Sydney!" Spoken as if that was a Badge of Honour. "And I won't ever come to this restaurant ever again!"

Calmly, with a slight smile, I replied, loud enough for the rest of the diners to hear - they'd been watching the performance as it unfolded..."Thank you! That's the best news I've heard all night!" And I just continued on as if nothing had occurred.

I do believe I heard a couple of cheers in the background. ;)

Restaurants are a world of their own...the public...well, they're another thing entirely! lol

That's great! Yeah, it's even better when other people cheer or thank you. I finally decided that 90% of issues could be resolved just by having a manager talk to the table, 9% could be resolved by buying drinks or food for the table and 1% are just bitter, awful people that will never be satisfied. Thanks for the comment!

About Me

I live in a small town in Texas. I am the real America. I wasn't born in the republic which means I'm not really Texan. I do have a pickup truck but since it's a Nissan, I'm still not considered Texan. I only drive it when no one is looking. I'm a man without a country and a man without a car. I'm an entrepreneur but not a good one as I recently had to close down the family restaurant. But that makes me an economic expert. I can seriously blame the restaurant's closing on Obama, Cheney, NAFTA, Cash for Clunkers, TARP and even Bernie Madoff who never spent millions in my restaurant. Not even a dime.