Thursday, February 26, 2015

A few weeks ago a
friend called me. He was preparing a speech and he wanted to know if I knew any
good stories about someone who after enduring a challenging situation made a
positive change in his life. In other words, they used a difficult situation as
a catalyst for growth and positive accomplishment.

As I thought about it I
realized that most chesed organizations are started by individuals who have
been in just a situation. After enduring a painful, traumatic, or unnerving
ordeal they decided to ‘give back’ to the community by initiating an
organization to help others.

As one example, our
local incredible Bikur Cholim organization in Rockland County with its many
branches was founded by R’ Shimon Lauber after he survived a life-threatening
illness.

But I related to my friend a different
story:

There was a righteous woman who was
married to a great tzaddik. In fact, her husband was the gadol hador. He
was also a high ranking government official and was widely respected for his
sagacity and righteousness. Orphaned from both her parents before she was a day
old, her eventual marriage to him was a dream come true.

Then one day her life changed
drastically. She was ordered to leave her husband to marry a vile and
narcissistic idolatrous man. The fact that he was rich and powerful meant
nothing to her. But her original husband impressed upon her that this was her
mission and G-d had put her there for a reason which would be revealed in due
time. And so Esther remained Queen, forfeiting her marriage to Mordechai in
order to live in Achashveirosh’s palace, away from her people.

The truth is that in a certain sense
Esther’s life in the palace of Achashveirosh is symbolic of the life of the Jewish
people in exile. When the Bais Hamikdash stood we were keenly aware of our
‘marriage’ to Hashem. We lived in close proximity of sanctity, the Kohanim
performed the avodah, and the Sanhedrin guided our every move.

In exile however, we are isolated and
surrounded by a culture that does not ascribe to Torah values. We are
surrounded by foreign practices and ideologies, and it is a constant struggle
to stay true to the ways of our ancestors. In this exile particularly, we have
been blessed with prosperity and comfort, but that has only served to increase
the challenge.

In the beloved song “Shoshanas Yaakov”,
we declare “Blessed is Esther (for what she did) on my behalf”. Esther
demonstrated to us that one can remain faithful even in immoral idolatrous surroundings.
Even in the face of isolation and desperation she maintained her faith and
conviction.

Like Esther our one overriding concern
must always be whether “I have found favor in your eyes, O king.” All else is
trivial and secondary. If we have found favor in G-d’s eyes than we have fulfilled
our mission.

Life does not always proceed as planned.
Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that life generally does not proceed as
planned. The test is to consider what it is that Hashem wants of us at any
given moment and in any given situation, and to do our best to live up to that
mission. Perhaps there was no one who rose to that challenge as Esther did.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

I have
often wondered what life is like in the north where temperatures hover around
zero degrees for weeks at a time with strong winds with snow and ice burying
the frozen tundra beneath.

Recently
all of us on the east coast found out what it was like without having to leave
our neighborhoods.

The
deep freeze that has engulfed us these last few days has left us pining for
spring. We have experienced the words we state each morning “Before his cold,
who can stand?” and now we await the fulfillment of the next pasuk: “He sends
His word and He melts them; He returns His wind the waters flow, and the
snow birds in Miami return”. (The last phrase is not from Dovid Hamelech;
it’s my own addition.)

During
this slew of Arctic air, a thick patch of ice has formulated right in front of our
front door. It is the result of melting snow from the roof from the sunlight
that drips down and freezes when it hits the frigid ground.

Even
after I have made it down out steep driveway and down our snow covered path I
have to stop and proceed slowly over that ice patch before I get to the front
door.

It
serves as a good reminder of G-d’s warning to Kayin in parshas Bereishis that the
evil inclination “crouches at the door”.

When I
was a high school student, I remember the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Berel Wein,
exhorting us to be mindful of how we come home at the end of a day at the
office. He would relate that during one particular time of his life when he
held a very challenging position he would often leave the office feeling
frustrated and annoyed. When he arrived home he would drive around the block
and spend a few added minutes reminding himself that his wife and children
should not be the target of his frustrations.

Those
first moments set the tone. The black ice lies insidiously right in front of
the door and we must be wary of it!

In
education, it’s often said that the tone of the day is set in the first
moments. Students can gauge from the teacher’s immediate reaction if their
presence is welcomed or not. The seasoned teacher ensures that he/she greets
each child at the beginning of class with a happy countenance and a friendly
comment, even though with some students it has to be acted.

A
child too can sense their parent’s feelings when they come home from school or
when they wake up in the morning. “The greatest gift that a mother can give
her child is to have her face light up whenever the child enters the room” (Toni
Morrison).

Another
facet of this analogy is that any potential growth in life always contains its
share of pitfalls and challenges that hinder that growth from taking place. One
has to be dedicated enough, and want it badly enough, to figure out how they
will traverse the ice in their path.

The
good news is that warmth melts ice. But the warmth must be directed at the ice
as it lurks menacingly right in front of the door. Once you get passed it the pleasantness
of home awaits.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

How often do we read or hear a quote
from an interview from which we draw a strong opinion, only to find out later that
the quote was taken out of context? Then when we hear or read the full quote we
realize that our conclusions were completely mistaken.

A quote taken out of context can make
all the difference in one’s opinion about world events and politics. How much is
world perception falsely influenced by the media’s repeated “editing” of quotes
by Israeli/Jewish leaders? Beyond that, it also effects our spiritual
perceptions as well.

I would like to share three examples
where often only the first part of a text is quoted, which completely alters
the intended meaning:

1. Before the fall of the Iron Curtain
when there were heroic efforts by world Jewry to exert pressure on Russia to free
their trapped Jews the slogan used was: “Let my people go!” It was based on
Moshe Rabbeinu’s repeated demand to Pharaoh that he free the hapless Jewish
slaves from the miserable Egyptian servitude. But the truth is that the slogan
left out what was perhaps the most important component of Moshe’s demand “Send
out my nation, so that they will serve Me.”

Immediately after leaving Egypt the young
nation began preparing for its acceptance of the Torah at Sinai. Indeed every
year on the second night of Pesach we immediately begin counting the Omer in
anticipation of our reacceptance of the Torah.

Exodus without acceptance of Torah was,
and is, futile for a Jew.

2. In regards to education, the pasuk from Mishlei
(22:6) is often quoted: “Chanoch linar al pi darko – educate a child
according to his way”. But the latter half of the verse is often neglected: “gam
ki yazkin lo yasur mimenu – even when he becomes old he will not deviate
from it.”

Education is not just about
compliance, but about instilling values into our children’s souls, so that it
becomes part of them for life.

It is all too easy for a
parent/teacher to become caught up in the heat of the moment, and to focus on
the short-term issue, and lose sight of the long-term education that needs to
occur. In fact, parents need to constantly take stock of each of their
children’s growth, and contemplate whether they - as parents – are doing enough
to build and foster the innate uniqueness of their child.

3. Much of secular Jewry has
adopted the term “tikkun olam – rectification of the world’ as their
banner. The problem is that they have neglected the two subsequent words: “b’malchus
Shakkai”. We pray for the rectification of the world within the kingship
of G-d (represented by the Name “Shakkai” which connotes limitations).

We cannot decide how we feel
the world ought to be rectified. The Torah has already provided us with the
guidance of how to do so. If one casts off the Torah’s yoke and decides that
ecology and nature loving is more important than Torah and mitzvah observance,
his well-meaning efforts to rectify the world are in fact accomplishing the
opposite.

It’s been said that a little
knowledge is very dangerous. We need to know the whole truth if we want to
uncover nothing but the truth.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

The wisest of men
declared that there is a time and place for everything under the heavens. Therefore,
there’s a certain thrill we enjoy when we feel like we “beat the system” by
enjoying something out of its time/season.

Some people are willing
to pay to enjoy a fruit that was shipped from an area with a different climate,
because locally that fruit is ‘out of season’. It’s also a big part of why half
the New York frum community invades Miami at some point during
January. It’s a great experience to step off a plane into blinding
eighty-degree sunlight, after being bundled up in a coat, scarf, and gloves in frigid
twenty-degrees two hours earlier.

This week our family
spent a few days in the Poconos. Although we enjoyed ice skating and snow
tubing, it was especially fun to go swimming in an indoor heated pool as a snow
storm walloped the area, blanketing the ground with ten inches of snow. After
not having gone swimming since late August, it was enjoyable to do so as we
watched the snow falling from the large windows.

Rav Moshe Wolfson
shlita, Mashgiach of Yeshiva Torah Vodaas in BrooklynNY,
notes that whenever the Shabbos Torah reading contains the Torah reading of a
holiday, or mentions the holiday, a certain level of the unique spiritual
blessing endemic to the holiday mentioned is attainable to one who spiritually connects
to that reading.

During each holiday we
pray “V’haseaynu Hashem Elokaynu es
birchas moadecha - Load us up, Hashem,
our G-d, with the blessings of Your holiday.” Each holiday contains unique
spiritual blessing and specific components of Divine Service that can be
attained. When a weekly Shabbos Torah reading includes a discussion about a
holiday, a “taste” of that holiday’s blessing is spiritually palpable in the
holiness of that Shabbos.

During the week of
Parshas Vayera one can “plug into” the light of Rosh Hashana, as the reading of
both days of Rosh Hashana comes from Parshas Vayera. During the weeks of
Shemos, Vaera, and Bo one can tap into the spiritual light of Pesach, with an
added bonus that the house does not have to be cleaned of Chometz first. The
week of Beshalach contains the reading of the seventh day of Pesach and the crescendo
of the great holiday of faith, as well as the Torah reading of Purim morning.
Parshas Yisro contains the reading of Shavuos, connecting its adherent to that
seminal event without the cheese cake and the all-nighter.

The weeks of Mishpatim,
Emor, Pinchos, Re’eh all contain a sampling of all the major holidays, and
therefore contain a spiritual conglomerate of them all. This is especially
propitious the Shabbos when Parshas Pinchos is read, which generally
immediately precedes the Three Weeks of mourning for the destruction of the
Bais Hamikdash and the loss of the festival pilgrimages.

Even as the snow and
cold continue, we can tap into the spiritual warmth of the holidays throughout
the year. And now that Purim is just beyond the horizon, we can begin to
anticipate physical warmth and rejuvenation as well.