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Obviously, the beer that the bartender awarded to the girl was a very rare, imported limited edition beer in a diamond bottle worth exactly 100 dollars. It's part of a special series of brews pioneered by Albert Einstein.

God I have a friend like this. I want to get him blackout-roofies drunk and tattoo a big, badly-drawn, bulging COCK right over his favorite New York Giants tattoo that he shows EVERYBODY who doesn't care about tattoos or the Giants. Fuck you, John ಠ_ಠ

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know my name is John, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret New York Giants tattoos, and I have over 300 confirmed tattoos. I am trained in showing people my sick as fuck tat and I'm the top tattoo artist for all giants fans. You are nothing to me but just another nerd. I will tattoo you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Giants fans across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in Giants tattoos, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Tattoo Association and I will use it to its full extent to tat your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Hey! Look here PAL, I'll have you know that I'm a member of the National Fraternal Order of Laser Tattoo Removal Specialists (NFOLTRS), and I hope you understand that I'll so fully erase every god damn millimeter of your tattoos that you'll be more pale than a neck beard's dick in the winter!! You fucking think you, a puny, filthy, tatted bro-fuck can talk to ME like that??? Fuck son! You're more screwed than a fucking well-placed 4-inch load-bearing anodized steel framing screw! So mark my words you sick fuck, as soon as the NFOLTR is finished tracking down your faggoty tatted brethren, we will eradicate your tats. There won't be so much as a speck of ink left on you or any of your partner's skin. That tattoo you got when your mother died? It'a fuckingGONE. The one you got when you graduated Navy Seals training?? Fuck my man, it'll be nothing more than a patch of bare, hairless, unattractive SKIN. And yes, we WILL find the tattoo of a dick you got on your taint, the one you're trying to hide underneath that sad excuse for a ball sack.

And for your Giants tattoos. Oh boy do the NFOLTRS have something special in store for those ABOMINATIONS. You see, what we do to your other tats will seem HUMANE compared to what we to to Giants tats. We don't use lasers. We don't use fancy bleaching chemicals.

We use FIRE.

I will BURN YOU motherfucker.

So go ahead. Hide. I'll give you a five minute head-start. But I will find you; WE will find you. And when we do, we will break you. We will steal your identity, the self-image you've built for yourself over years and years of getting tatted. And we will leave you naked, cold, pale; erased.

We are the National Fraternal Order of Laser Tattoo Removal Specialists. We will find you.

The way people talk about the things they like as well. You notice people drinking specialised coffee, tea, whiskey or beer and they thump you over the head with this information. A cornerstone of their personality.

I really like certain types of tea, coffee, whiskey and beer myself but in no way does it define me and I would never bring it up out of the blue like something to be proud of.

Sorry for ranting! Im getting a little buzzed off this 6% Knobgoblin Bitter I got at the local Ale-Fest! Yum!