Vogue Shops Vienna

Thursday, May 14th, 5:00 p.m.: Who says people don’t dress up for flights anymore? I am heading to Vienna to do a little shopping–and attend the Life Ball, Vienna’s over-the-top, nuttily glamorous annual AIDS benefit–and the two most glamorous characters waiting to board the official Life Ball plane are Ivana Trump and Amanda Lepore, hands down. Trump is beyond gorgeous with shellacked updo and Vuitton hand luggage; the always-cheerful trannie Lepore is sporting a bodacious cocktail dress and a cherry-pink satin wheelie. On the other hand, Amber Valletta and Maggie Rizer have dressed way, way down, and Katy Perry, who is headlining at the event, is hiding under a striped knitted cap straight out of The Cat in the Hat. -Friday, May 15th, 11:00 a.m.: Hit the ground running! Tear myself away from my gorgeous suite at the Hotel Bristol (all the big hotels donate rooms for visiting press and celebs—Life Ball is a citywide undertaking) and hit the shops. 12:30 p.m.: OK, so what hails from Austria? (Because, sure, we love Prada and Hermès, but we can get that anywhere.) Besides Klimt magnets, Mozart dolls, and music boxes, there are dirndls and lederhosen (I actually think for a second I can make this look work, then come to my senses). Oh, but what’s this? Wolford (wolford.com) is Austrian! I stock up on summer leggings. 1:00 p.m.: I’m ecstatic to find Liska, where I fall in love with the label Wunderkind by Wolfgang Joop, which I’ve never seen in the States. Upstairs, an entire floor is devoted to cool furs, perhaps intended for the hip young wives of visiting Russian oligarchs. 2:30 p.m.: Who knew my new favorite word would be Antikschmuck? Believe it or not, this means antique jewelry, and there is a mouthwatering array in Vienna. I love the diamond charm bracelet (alas, €18,000!) at Georg-Wilhelm Siedler (Kohlmarkt 3). 3:00 p.m.: In short order, I discover GardeRobe, which offers new designer clothes and vintage accessories, including a devastating Schiaparelli hat, and 2006Feb01 (2006Feb01.com), with its hip house label Katti Zoob. I run into celebrity hairstylist Danilo at Chegini (Plankengasse 4), where the goods include the Rick Owens–manqué label Blayde. -Saturday, May 16th, 9:00 a.m.: How lucky are we to be in Vienna on a Saturday, when the Naschmarkt flea market is open? My friend Mickey Boardman and his pal Hubertus Hohenlohe accompany me, and collectively we buy a silver Art Nouveau cup, Art Deco soda siphons, and a tiny photo of a Weimer flapper in her skivvies. 1:00 p.m.: Hubertus drives us to Lichterloh, a cornucopia of mid-century-modern home design. Then we hightail it to Song , a multi-roomed affair with rare labels and an art gallery in the back, located in the up-and-coming Second District, Vienna’s version of Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. 2:00 p.m.: After a leisurely lunch at the supercrowded, festive Zum Schwarzen Kameel, Hubertus’s recommendation, even I, world-class shopper, need a break. After all, I am expected at a ball tonight! 8:00 pm: Attempting to prepare me for my first Life Ball, Paul Alexander of the rock group The Ones describes it as a combination of Wigstock, Mardi Gras, New Years Eve, and the Halloween parade. Amid the roughly 40,000 trendsetters in attendance are a handsome Bill Clinton (accepting a humanitarian award from Fran Drescher); a performance by Katy Perry; an 80-look fashion show by The Blonds; a symphony orchestra; a water ballet; and the New York downtown doyenne Patricia Field arriving on a barge like Cleopatra. (The theme of this year’s party is water.) I think I look OK, but how can you compete with near-naked guys swathed in fishnet with boats on their heads? Sunday 11 am: Too much revelry—or just the right amount? —makes the plane back to New York quiet as a church library. Katy Perry’s back in her stocking cap, Amanda’s trussed into yet another skintight confection. I close my eyes and when I open then again we’re soaring over Long Island and I’m wishing I’d eaten one more sachertorte and maybe bought a Klimt magnet after all.