Silver Jubilee Plus One

Thursday, August 1, 2013

On this day (August 1), 1987, my parents tied the knots in my mother's hometown. About two weeks ago, one beautiful Saturday night, we sat together and watched their wedding video. It was hilarious, of course. My mother's gorgeous JC Penney gown or my Dad's beards, I didn't know which was funnier. I don't want to spill too much details about my parents or siblings or family, as this is my blog (I can put out anything about myself if I want to, but I must respect the privacy of others.) So I'll basically just put down 26 things I've learnt so far from my parents about love, relationship, marriage, parenting and family. I will also add things I've been grateful for. Let me just say, apart from the bible, my parents are my next greatest teachers and inspiration in love matters. Yup, not hollywood, not nollywood, or movies or music or some lame ass, low lives, attention seekers (lol. You get the drift) who claim to be in love. I learn from the best. Of course, I don't learn from them alone, there are other people I constantly try to learn from. But the truth is, my parents are the closest I have been to any marriage. There is no forming, it is what it is. I will start with my caption on instagram and BBM earlier today. In no particular order:
1) These folks (my parents) teach me that in spite of all the craziness in this world, true love and true friendship DOES exist. They are the best friends and greatest team I know.
2) Over the years, my parents have not just given my siblings and I, a roof over our heads, they have given us a HOME. Therefore, I owe it to my future children too, to give them a home.
3) One important lesson is that a house is not necessarily a home.
4) My parents raised my siblings (still raising. lol) on very proper grounds. Frankly, no constitution or code of conducts were ever glued to the fridge or hung by the dinning table. They mostly led by example. Really (speaking for myself now) the best way my parents instilled so much in me was by showing me. You want your child to be excellent, abi? You sef, display excellence.
5) My parents are great communicators. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, those folks do not gist each other. They talk. There is no simpler way of saying this, the folks just talk and talk and talk.
6) Selfless. My mother does some of my worrying for me. Sometimes, I tell her stuff just so I know I'm not the only one worrying about it. Sometimes, I don't tell her stuff because, I don't want her to worry. I think this has to be the hard part of parenting. Loving your children selflessly. If you have to deny yourself of something, you just do it without even thinking twice.
7) Providing. As a child, I thought like a child, as it should be. hehe. There was a time I felt everything my parents did for me, they owed it to me. Then I went to serve in the village for NYSC and saw how children were living in terrible conditions. Lets just say, I've been more thankful. Now, I'm not saying anybody is or isn't responsible for their financial or social states. I just know some folks have gone over and beyond to provide (not just provide) but give their kids a good life. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Mummy. Case closed.
8) Respect. Apart from respecting each other, they respect even we, the kids (I'm using this word loosely o, we are adults :D) as well.
9) I am thankful for the gift of family. AH! I could go on and on and on. I am thankful.
10) I'm thankful for the 'abaras' once in a while, it was probably needed. This one is for my Mother because my Dad never laid a finger on me and he has my respect FOREVER for that. But my mother had to once in a while bring me back to my senses with some slaps on the back. Thanks mama.
11) Number 10 may make it look like my Daddy is a very sweet, gentle, never-raising-voice-at-me type of Dad. Far from that, although he never beat me, best believe one email from my father sends chills down my spine. Yea. The man has his own ways.
12) Number 10 also teaches me that no matter how much two people love each other, each person has his uniqueness and difference. Their individual approaches may have been different, but they had a common goal.
13) One big lesson I've also learnt from these folks is knowing what you want. Both of them have told me (individually and together) how they met and their lives prior to that. In choosing life partners, know what you want and go for for it. As simple as that may sound, people just make it complex. Smh.
14) I'm thankful to my parents for loving us unconditionally. In hindsight, I do not think I was an easy child to love. I never did drugs or partied or slept around or bailed out of school. No, but I was difficult in the most subtle ways. I was just nonchalant and lackadaisical, which was so irritating. lol. So, thanks Dad and Mum for loving me unconditionally.
15) Thank you also for loving each other unconditionally. When two elephants fight, the grass suffers. Go figure.
16) I can go on and on and give you gist of how wonderful these folks have been to each other. The truth is that I've learned from them that no matter how much two people love each other, it will not always be a bed of roses. You will fight and argue and disagree. Settle.
17) I'm thankful to my parents for taking us to church. No story.
18) I've learned to be friends with my future spouse. Yup! my future spouse and I gotta be best friends, no two ways. Best buddies!
19) Never underestimate the power of a good home neither should you underestimate the effects on every individual in the home.
20) Family is an important part of everybody. Yes, fate chooses our family for us but we should learn to love them and be thankful for them because in the end, in the very end, when it comes to who will be there, you can always count on Family (most times.)
21) At an early age, I learnt that some friends make or break you. My parents taught me early, to be wary.
22) Sacrifices. If I was arranging this list in a particular order, this would have topped the list. Love, parenting, marriage, friendship, relationships and family all involve sacrificing.
23) A family that prays together, stays together.
24) When the going gets tough, remember this statement my Mum told me yesterday "Tough times don't last but tough people do." Again, whether it's with your lover or parents or sibling or friends, there will be tough times.
25) Don't give up on people you love. Times and times again, we have failed and God doesn't give up on us. So, tell me why you, a mere mortal should give up on anyone. This life is very mysterious. Again, like my Mum would say "eni la mo, ko seni to mola." (It's only today we know, nobody knows tomorrow.)
26) I deliberately left this best one for the last thing. I am thankful to God for EVERYTHING. Sounds cliche, abi? Wrong. I'm genuinely thankful that I had twenty six things to write. I did not even think I would write up to 26 things oh, I almost stopped at number 18 or thereabout to go back up and edit the first paragraph where I talked about writing 26 things. lol. While, there may actually be more things to write, I'll leave it at this.

To my parents...I pray that in the next 24 years, I will be able to write down 50 things I've learnt because by God's grace, there will be more to learn. So like I told you both this morning, LONG LIFE AND PROSPERITY! More Love. More Peace. More Wealth. More Prosperity and a Long Life. Here's to 40 more years!!!
CHEERS!!!!

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