Dec 13, 2012

The magnitude of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre continued to bear down on this small town Wednesday as eight families held services for victims

Across Newtown and surrounding areas, makeshift memorials grew and police lights, dark hearses, and long funeral processions -- now a familiar sight —passed through town for a third straight day. Police also continued to dig into what led to the tragedy.Near Sandy Hook Elementary, Gene Rosen, 69, recalled the victims and the time he spent with six children who he believes witnessed the murder of their teacher, Victoria Soto.

"Two boys started crying furiously and saying 'We can't go back to school, we can't go back to school -- our teacher is gone,' " said Rosen who brought the children inside his home after finding them on his front lawn shortly Friday morning. "I was so overwhelmed I could not take in what they were saying."

Adam Lanza, 20, carried out a shooting attack on Sandy Hook Elementary School that left 20 students and six adults dead. He also killed his mother earlier in the day.

Wednesday, mourners attended funerals and burials for Soto, 27, and students Charlotte Bacon, 6, Caroline Previdi, 6, and Daniel Barden, 7. The families of students Benjamin Wheeler, Catherine Hubbard, Allison Wyatt, all 6, and school principal Dawn Hochsprung, 47, also held calling hours.

The horror of the day remains with Rosen, who said he had just fed his cats and was getting ready to drive to Sandy Hook diner when he spotted two boys and four girls as he walked down his driveway.

"They looked mortified," Rosen said. "They seemed out of breath as if they had been running and they were crying."

After walking them inside his home, he gave the tiny survivors his grandchildren's toys to play. Soon, the details of what they witnessed came pouring out.

"A boy said, 'He had a big gun and a little gun,'" Rosen recalled. "A girl said 'There was blood in her mouth and she fell to the ground.'"

Working with a bus driver, Rosen called the children's parents who later came to his home. He's hoping when the time is right he will be reunited with the children and their parents who still face days of funerals.

Fourteen miles away from the school, in Woodbury, hundreds of mourners including Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy, paid their respects to Principal Hochsprung, who officials say tried to confront Lanza.

Outside Munson-Lovetere Funeral Home, cool air kicked up dust as frigid weather kept those waiting in line shivering. Some cried as they huddled together in jackets and under shared quilts. Others sipped hot chocolate and ate donuts passed out under a nearby tent.

Many passed the time talking about Hochsprung's love of children, her years of experience in Connecticut school systems, and her and her husband's plans to retire in a home they recently built.

Up and down Woodbury's Main Street, crowds of people formed lines in anticipation of a threat by Westboro Baptist Church to protest at the principal's funeral.

Crystal Bogart, 34, drove one hour from her home in Wappingers Falls, N.Y. to help protect the services. "When I found out they were coming I couldn't stay at home," she said. "There's no room in this situation for the hate those people bring."

Westboro Baptist Church has become notorious for picketing the funerals of military personnel, calling their deaths God's punishment for U.S. tolerance of homosexuals. There were no of protests at funerals Wednesday.

Meanwhile, police continued their investigation into what caused Lanza to carry out the killings. Officials are focusing some of their attention on a damaged computer recovered from his Newtown home.

However, it could take weeks to determine if the computer will yield any clues to what prompted the attack, a federal law enforcement official said.

The hard-drive, seized in a weekend search of the home, has been sent to an FBI Laboratory in Quantico, Va., for examination. The official, who has been briefed on matter but is not authorized to comment publicly, said authorities were only "mildly optimistic'' that the examination could answer could answer crucial questions about the 20-year-old activities in the days before the assaults and why he targeted the school, students and staffers.

Two federal law enforcement officials said that there was an initial surge of hope that the computer could answer a number of questions about the attack, but that was almost immediately tempered when the extent of the damage was assessed.

Connecticut State Police Lt. Paul Vance, while not addressing what specific evidence was found, has said a "great deal'' of material was seized from the home, adding that he was "confident'' that investigators would ultimately answer "every question.''

Tomorrow, memorial services for nine victims are scheduled.

"The first few days, all you heard were helicopters," said Dr. Joseph Young, an optometrist who attended one funeral and would go to several more. "Now at my office all I hear is the rumble of motorcycle escorts and funeral processions going back and forth throughout the day.

Dec 6, 2012

This issue about trying to assist in providing housing and Jobs for recently released inmates within our States stratosphere is all fine and well but I feel it is putting a band aid on a huge wound that we should be preventing entirely ; In other words, this is directly linked to a much much larger problem; Connecticut court's infamously willy - nilly and never truly addressed, sentencing morass. And, as with most broken systems that have been broken for a long long time, one does not have lasting success until that system is rebuilt from the ground up. The ideas that are being bandied about here - helping well intention-ed newly released inmates making a genuine effort to reenter society could be addressed and in fact avoided if we pull our view back a few steps further. ie look at how some of these innocuous "felons" wound up becoming felons with the lifelong tag in the first place.... Especially when we hear the lament from our legislators year after year about our all time high over crowded prisons and then the inevitable " money saving" Programs that invariably involve our lawmakers letting violent offenders or those perched upon violence, out on early release programs to re offend and harm again.

When all is said and done Our state's sentencing practices vary so drastically with factors such as the court demographic, the crime itself and whether the prosecutor handling the "case"understands that it is the lawyer/ public defender and their relationship with the prosecutor and other factors that all add to terribly ambiguous sentencing which can saddle the wrong people with felony convictions and accordingly they the least dangerous are more often given felony sentences that involve prison time.

The core sentencing issues in Connecticut courts are landing a good portion of these inmates into cells with the heavy moniker felon on them when they are released, often a year or less later.. These people should not be convicted of felonies and should be at the very bottom of our list of so called ofenders especially taking up sparse and crucial prison cells.

People such as this women below quoted within the Hour's article are being unduly thrown into...

Virginia Downing, 62, of New Haven, said she has had trouble finding
affordable housing and a full-time job because of her 1998 felony drug
possession conviction that sent her to prison for six months. She has worked as
a part-time crossing guard for New Haven schools the past six years. She said
she got certified as a nurse's aide in 2006, but her conviction kept her from
getting a job in that profession.
"I have fully paid my debt to society," she told a legislative committee
earlier this year. "I have not had any criminal involvement in 14 years. It is
not reasonable that I should continue to be burdened by collateral
consequences."

prison cells for things like repeat petty drug possession/ purchasing offenses and wind up with the albatross seeming felon moniker which yes then directs them into a "socially unacceptable" populus when released. And Although some are able to transcend the reflex prejudices and doors closing in their face, many do not and this becomes not only an obstacle but a reason to return to drug abuse.with the mindset of once society view me as undesirable I therefore am and " I cannot overcome the stigma of my past" For many it is the same as the notion of living sober and rebuilding a life after being an addict or alcoholic for years..And these are not the exception felons folks. People who were caught buying drugs or with drugs on them at traffic stops comprise an inordinately large percentage of Connecticut's Prison populous, so much so that at various times in our past the state was shipping inmates to other states due to prison over crowding. Some Connecticut citties even run month long stings where all they do is arrest small time drug addicts/buyers at a known hot spot inner city sales corner. The Police department meets a nice quota and everyone in the department high fives each other as if they've arrested a band of child killers or rapists. The same is done with prostitution which is obviously also directly linked with drug addiction Apparently over the years as the prisons were bursting at the seams literally with prisoners sleeeping in sleeping bags in rooms not designed to hold inmates, Conn lawmakers wer loathe to build another prison or two. We couldnt afford to build another prison according to our State's official bean counters, the same folks that told us the death penalty was too financially burdensome and ate up too many resources and thus should be replaced with " life in prison ". This newly voted in capital punishment will in fact guarantee that every murderer/rapist/child abductor will never again offer to plead guilty for their crimes in order to avoid a death penalty sentence as Leslie Williams did just two over two years ago. Williams was yet another just released inmate who went on an immediate crime spree stole a car and walked into a house in new Britain where two older ladies just returned from church. Although the women offered Williams anything money jewelry etc, he shot one woman a 65 year old cancer patient in the head leaving her for dead, stole some small things from the house with the homeowners car, he kidnapped the second woman who was missing for almost a day; police discovered her murdered and raped body left in some brush. This crime was one of three that took place within a 7 months period after the Petit family murders all committed by either early paroled or recently released repeat offenders including Williams who had sexually assaulted a 5 year old and just been released. I recall one of the legislators actually blaming Connecticut's DOC for simply dumping Williams out of prison after 7 years and expecting him to cope. It literally sounded as if the ownice for a sociopaths brutality was being placed on us the law abiding residents of the state and the fact that we had laws and imposed them even on the diluted scale that plea deals allow! This fanatic liberalism regarding crime and criminals was rampant in the Connecticut legislature in 2008 . It was dangerous then and it has only become worse since a democratic governor somehow wound up in the Governors mansion...ahem. (bear in mind folks I am liberal insofar as much of my political views but violent crime is an entity that doesn't belong in politics yet it is awash in politics and too many of our legislators are lawyers, and another segment are minority house representatives with their own agendas and classicism racism and all the other isms wind up blinding lawmakers to the uneatable reality of the fact that they our state government is aiding and abetting violent crime inadvertently via these lobbyist pet peeves and projects that seem always to cost the victims blood flesh and bones and our communities a huge toll taken in trauma grief pain fear and anger.And no matter how impotent our "death penalty" sentence actually was HERE in Connecticut, the mere idea of it was enough to a keep some people from murdering (we don't hear from those people within polls that query' did the fact that you might get the DP deter you from murdering and raping ...?" And lawyers have insisted their clients claim it never occurred to them " therefore proving that ta death penalty isn't a deterrent...see!?Since the men these lawyers are asking have already committed capital murder this immediately negates the concept of a control group to put such a ludicrous claim to the test.Why does any of this matter ? Because without a death penalty and life with the chance of parole being the second worse alternative sentence for someone who has committed Now these killers will all be going to trial and some lawyers will manage to convince a jury to give multiple murderer rapists et all "life with the chance of parole" An oxymoron to be certain.With parole even a possibility no matter how remote, any capital murderer's lawyer is going to proceed to trial. No more offers to plead guilty to anything! Those trials will cost the state millions then billions utterly trashing the entire so called monetary savings that our state is supposed to make by abolishing the death penalty. Budget deficits were actually cited as one of the original reasons the judiciary committee came up with the abolishment IDEA-AGAIN. IIt should be noted that Conn has a history for 20 years of voting for Republican governors despite a largely democratic legislature, and the balance seemed to work well for us as a state as we have traditionally had a largely democratic legislature. When Malloy narrowly "won" the governors seat needless to say all things criminal judicial became even more focused upon the criminal as opposed to the victims of crimes as well as preventing more victims with smarter sentencing batter lawmaking and an oversight committee that is a completely separate agency from the state government. For example within the death penalty abolishment public hearings we heard a lot of testimony about the expensive appeals processes which Connecticut lawmakers built into our former DP in effect rendering it impotent and costly, The pro repealists claimed that the appeals only re traumatize the families of the murder victims among other things. Some of those other issues revolved around moral and or religious postures and or belief systems that many lawmakers lawyers themselves claim they had about the death penalty. Other reasoning were such claims as "abolishment is inevitable anyway, all of the New England States are abolishing.....! " This idiotic reasoning as if it saying it was the latest and" in thing to do" came from then co chair judiciary committee Mike Lawlor, who was most unfortunately for victims of crime, an overtly influential legislator always ready at the gate to orate to the media and empathize with those who predate and brutalize while doing little to nothing for victims of crime helping rebuild their lives.Not to mention the many many ineffective or non existent victims reintegration programs.

And yet between our courts and our dept of corrections they decry a lack of space for violent offenders or the many offenders clearly on the road to burgeoning violent offenses ie crimes that have proven time and again to lead to escalating crimes such as sexual assault felony assault kidnapping and murder.

In a word, Connecticut's criminal sentencing is an arbitrarily doled out mess.We need serious oversight and revamping from the ground up. The employees who are not willing to get aboard, should get off the bus. Lives are at stake, and egos cronyism and complacency should no longer be tolerated by the people of this state nor our legislators many of whom although lawmakers are lawyers themselves, to me an inherent part of the problem. Zero objectivity and self serving lawmaking and sentencing decisions. Many in our house of Reps that aren't practicing lawyers in the state have no idea the true unrealistic application of many of the laws that they do vote into law nor the negative fall out that will be a direct result of that vote they just cast.

Nov 23, 2012

The group focuses on preventing predatorial and intimate violence crimes against girls and young women. I learned of the group through am article on Facebook, the article centered around yet another disappearance/ suspected murder of a lovely Virginia Tech student.

What makes " Help Save The Next Girl"stand so far apart from other support groups like it, is the amazing breadth of the charters mission; with the one steadfast motivation being to stop the cycle of predation and violence against teenage girls and women, Murder, kidnapping and assault numbers are growing daily.

Our young women are falling like unwitting soldiers in some unnamed and believe it or not in some places, still refuted war. The nature of this war is extremely clear; it is a war about controlling and criminal domination of woman. It is being lived out every single day in your town.

Nov 17, 2012

Michaela Rose Petit 1995-2007 would have been 17 years old today.Happy Birthday K.K, as your closest, loved ones call you.

I was not graced to know Michaela in this life, but I grew to know her beautiful essence through oh so many stories and anecdotes related by family and friends, as well her words, and her life deeds - all paint a picture of a special little girl with a gentle soul and a compassionate heart.

I thought about Michaela Petit every single day since the summer of 2007 after learning with crushed heart about the Petit family crimes. As pained as I was, and the pain ran very deep, out of nowhere came a glimmer of hope and solace, and it came from all places, a handful of words gleaned from Michaela's Facebook page.

The words, and the extraordinary fact that an 11 year old girl chose them as her "favorite quote", impressed me and most importantly, inspired me, as it did so many others who read and heard about them.

"You must be the Change that you wish to see in this world"

At eleven years of age these are the words thatMichaela Petit chose as her favorite quotation on her Facebook Page.

The quote originally spoken by the infamous Mahatma Gandhi, became reignited by a uncannily deep and thoughtful 11 year old girl, no longer physically with us, yet by choosing her quote so carefully and thoughtfully, Michaela was surely leaving us all with a mission.

Lone survivor, Dr William Petit took a portion of Michaela's quote : " Be The Change" and let those few words stand at the core of his newly founded Foundation's purpose, In doing this, he began a most apt legacy for his youngest daughter, as well his family, all of whom were known for their extra-ordinary caring, kindness, activism and community involvement.

The potent message woven within those words seemed to be telling all " lets get going, Every day matters so much, there is a lot of good that needs to be done!

Nov 15, 2012

That said... these crimes are out of control.
We are seeing this type" intimate violence" murder every single week, and often we read about several domestic murders in one week and this this has become our nation's norm rather than the exception. It is a terrible time in history when reading about such atrocities are literally becoming commonplace.As human beings, as a society, and as residents of our individual States, we must stop feeling helpless sad and shrugging our shoulders ...we must become Pro active! These VICTIMS are our sisters neighbors daughters and mothers. This is an epidemic ladies and gentlemen.

The problem of intimate violence has always existed, however the crimes are growing rather than ebbing despite our countries massive awareness campaigns concerning crimes such as domestic/ dating crimes, stalking increase. Our courts our sentencing systems for these offenders who are often chronic - are becoming more lax once again and once again our courts are in effect the eye of the storm that we are witnessing. The complacency and apathy that were commonplace years ago have returned, old attitudes resurfaced and this is what is at the very nucleus of the avalanche of so called domestic murders..

The mindset is not knew; Often an ex boyfriend decides that if he cannot have a particular women he dated no one can and he commits the ultimate act of control over her- Murder.However this road almost always starts with crimes such as threatening stalking assault and typically these crimes are committed more than once by a perpetrator of escalated violence. It has long been known that the period surrounding a break up with a volatile person or one with a history of arrests for assault, stalking either with or without restraining orders being procured against them, is a very dangerous time period.

It used to be the period following a marital separation or divorce, such as what we saw in the Nicole BrownRon Goldman murders, those anger and control issues can ferment and steep for up to a year or more, we have learned the hard way. The same crimes of so called passion which is a dangerous misnomer are happening after even very short term relationships, such as the one Michelle Hahn had with inadvertantly stumbled into with the man who ultimately killed her in a Walmart parking lot.

The two had only dated a few months before Michelle bailed out, likely having witnessed signs of controlling and stalking or perhaps even physical violence. Tragically, Michaelle was smart enough to get out; she did the right thing and yet she was murdered and her two children are now orphaned, their father having died of cancer just two years prior to their mothers violent and senseless death.

Violence murders assaults and maiming's are increasing by the day in the United States- we are clearly doing something wrong and moreover not doing many things right!

We must adopt stricter sentencing laws for first time offenders- PERIOD.

Charles Fickenstein the man who shot and killed Michelle Hahn had a history of Ten arrests for stalking and assaulting former girlfriends,yet he wasn't imprisoned for any of them -why?

I will guarantee that he was given the usual fare of first time" freebies" that most states seem to dole out as if they were parking tickets. Actually... parking tickets are treated more seriously and can have more serious outcomes in this State as they affect the State's monetary interests, whereas intimate violence is merely a commodity of trauma flesh and bone.

Bottom line? The charges are dropped nolled and plea - dealed in only the most severe assaults and even then serious felony crimes are routinely plead down to next to nothing as the end result. These deals almost always lack prison time suspended sentences are the norm nor is the convicted offender made to pay medical reimbursements or court fines such as are staples in even the most minor motor vehicle infractions!

What does this say about the way our courts view violence against women and its precursor crimes which always always follow a pattern giving a veritable heads up to law enforcement but most of all the judicial system and department of corrections?

The truth is that in many states usually the worst a man finally convicted after a multitude of arrests faces maybe a suspended sentence and or probation - And these are doled out only for the cases where the victim is severely hurt and or there has been some insane amount of stalking and breaking and entering crimes within the realm of intimate/dating violence..

Oct 31, 2012

Finally, we hear about a domestic violence case that actually rendered a verdict that was relatively on par with the crimes that were committed against this victim!

And let's remind ourselves that words like "case" and even " victim" have a way of dehumanizing the entire realty of what has happened to our fellow human beings within these crimes, The word victim and case puts distance between the people who have found themselves either enmeshed in an abusive relationship or on the receiving end of a fatal or a one time near fatal assault, such as we read about every single day in our newspapers and view on the news. The numbers of Victims that fall prey to dating and domestic violence are growing rather than ebbing as we imagine in the case would be in a increasingly aware society.

The "victims" are people like your sister, your daughter, your mother, your aunts, your friends, your neighbor, your co-workers and people that you run into throughout every- day lie.

Victimsof battering could be anyone; the nurse at your Doctors office, your Doctor herself ( statistically much greater chance (if she is a female doctor of course) your real estate agent, the cashier at your supermarket or the kind but sad seeming lady that works the counter at your corner coffee shop.

We are all around you. We are you.

Official statistics bear out that one in four women will be the victim of partner, dating or domestic violence in their lifetime. This is the " official statistic" However anyone and everyone involved on any level with domestic and dating violence knows that these numbers are in fact much higher

.My most modest estimate is that one in three women experiences intimate violence in one form or another at least one in her lifetime and typically more than once. This is not some haphazard guess. It is based upon conversations and interviews with thousands upon thousands of women and girls as well hundreds of exchanges with professorial; advocates activists, those people entrusted with conducting studies involving intimate violence/domestic violence in this country.

And when you add into the equation the fact that any women do not realize that they have been in or are in fact being abused. The percentage of women who are actually abused in this country only becomes greater and thus more tragic. This is true particularly with young women and girls;

Relationships was fraught with jealousy insecurity and possessiveness and like many young girls mistake lower level violent incidents for intensity love or passion. Unfortunately and often tragically, the average teenage girl who is embroiled in similar relationships also tells no one. They do not confide in others about the abuse, especially with adults. If they do share about it, it will likely be with peers or one particular friend.

These girls often feel ashamed, as if they caused the violence or the threats or the rage fueled fits.

In fact, many times, the young girls are told that they are at fault for the violence by the boy or young man that is committing the abuse or threats, and in our teenage years and even early twenty's the maturity and awareness re abuse is not yet where we need it to be..

An example of abuse that might not be immediately recognized as such is a boyfriend or partner blocking his girlfriends exit from a room perhaps as she tries to walk away from an argument, or simply him.

This is a telltale sign of a controlling persona and the possibility of abuse is fermenting, a partner blocking that doorway -this is a man or boy already in the grips of acting out issues of power and control over women, or as the case is becoming more and more common - teenage girls - and even pre-teens, as dating becomes more common at younger ages in this country, possibly due to social media and access to adult movies and media in general. The fact is becoming more and more difficult to censor our teens and tweens from television movies and books via kindle that portray love in inaccurate and unhealthy ways inter dispersed with possessiveness jealousy and physically abusive leading men,it is no wonder our young people are unsure of what love dating and intimacy are supposed to look like.

The "cases" that we read about and hear about over and over every single week are comprised of physical beatings brutality and terror :Most commonly in partner violence the victim receives blows to their face and heads - facial and head injuries are the the most common emergency room injuries for female victims of violence. Traumatic brain injuries are a staple in the life of almost every woman who has been in an abusive relationship. Many times women aren't even aware of the symptoms that the repeated blows to her head and face have caused her or that the root of these serious symptoms are traumatic brain injury.

In domestic and intimate violence that results in murder, 62 percent die as a result of blunt force trauma to the head and or face. Another large percentage die of strangulation also known as choking.

And as the attacks including choking, blows to the face and/ or head continue, too often does injury to the vital brain, the epicenter of our body, as well as the one organ that can truly be considered our identity, after all, our brain determines who we are. Thus, when it is injured through attacks during partner violence, many women will experience Traumatic Brain Injuries, (once called concussions) and anoxia (deprivation of oxygen to the brain) anoxia by both TBI and choking will cause permanent cell death in areas of the brain, this cell death is called ischemia and can cause many serious cognitive and central nervous system issues ..

Oct 24, 2012

I have followed the story of Autumn Pasquale's disappearance since last Saturday. I prayed that she would miraculously be found alive, but knowing that statistics were not in our favor, praying none the less.

There are no adequate words to describe the senseless brutality apparantly committed by two teenage boys ages 15 and 17 who have just been charged in 12 year old Autumn Pasquale's murder.

The boys were reportedly tracked with the help of comments made on a Facebook page, dedicated to Autumn's disappearance, and subsequently her unsolved murder:.Autumns little body was discovered in a covered recycling bin that was left out on the curb with all of the other homes bins on garbage and recycle day pick-up in Autumnsjust blocks from her home in the small residential Town of in New Jersey. The entire nieghborhood has been grieving this childs dissapearence and when her body was discovered, her callous murder. The mourning and pain however is boundless and not limited by any geographic lines. Here in Connecticut I know that every

The two teens whose names remain anonymous due to their underage status were Neighbors of The Pasquale family and both were known to steal bicycles in the past as well the house was known as a teenage hangout with a good deal of what appeared to be parties and teenagers gatherings.

Ppreliminary reports are stating that the girl was killed in order to steal her BMX bicycle. The younger brother was charged with luring in addiction to the first degree murder charge that he and his older brother now face. There has been talk that the boys might be charges as adults but there has been no confirmation of this by the States Attorney's office handling the case.

There appears to have been no sexual assault, thank god, at this juncture, but authorities have stated that it is not definitive until a full autopsy and tests are completed. Little Autumn died of strangulation and blunt force trauma to the head. My heart is so filled with sadness and anger, There seems to be a never ending succession of child predation and violence against women in the past 8 months. Instead of getting better it would only seem that the evil people that perpetuate this kind of brutality are growing steadily.The horror behind the premeditated act of disposing of victims of such violence is as or more disturbing, for this shows an utter disregard for any sign of remorse or a glint of respect for the fact that a human being was simply snuffed out of existence and then the evidence disposed of.

I cannot come to grips with the mentality and mindset that accompanies despicable acts of this nature, especially to a child.

God bless Autumn Pasquales family and friends, may she rest in Gods arms eternally.

Oct 22, 2012

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is sponsoring the - now Annual - Love.Walk
Sunday October 27th 2012 in: the Bronx, New York, Please visit the website for details and take part in Domestic Violence Awareness Month!

Oct 12, 2012

This could have been something that truly helped Dr. Petit and his family, as well as the still grieving community, had the request been bonafide and made for the right reasons.

But, once again the a typical sociopath's manipulation is clearly woven into Steven Hayes professed desire to be given his death sentence, sans the ludicrous appeals process that is literally built into every death Penalty sentence - prospectively that is. ( I won't even go there right now )

Steven Hayes makes it clear from the start that his intention to "waive appeals" in order to be given his death sentence, is a decision not based upon remorse or a self imposed justice, but rather his focus is on himself throughout the entire content of his letter to the Courant.

As different as they seem, like Joshua Komisarjevsky, Steven Hayes has anti-social personality disorder, aka he is a sociopath. There are drastic gradient differences in sub-types and their personality traits can vary quite a bit, but the underlying obsession with self and their inability to feel appropriate empathy or remorse- these are these qualities are what make a sociopath a sociopath.

One would imagine that having raped and strangled Jennifer Petit who had complied with all of his demands throughout the kidnapping, robbery and sexual assault as well his part in the arson murder of
the two young daughters this this would be at the nucleus of Mr Hayes wish to die.

Unfortunately it is not.

Hayes makes it clear from the onset of this letter that he is bitter and angry at the prison system for their alleged mistreatment of him while he has been incarcerated.

Hayes didn't make his claims of abuse as an aside but rather the sole reasoning for his wish to take his death sentence. In doing so Steven Hayes entirely negated the sentence portion of the entire issue and in this he negates his responsibility culpability for these crimes.
As a people, and a society we want to see remorse we hope and yearn for it. It is in our fabric.

While it doesn't set things right, it makes us feel better. Thus there is this perpetual desire and hope that even the most horrendous of murderers will come to feel some remorse over taking another life especially when children are involved. This helps us make sense of something that is so aberrant to us to begin with. The aberence itself has already causes a huge amount of collective pain.

Most of us simply cannot wrap our head around nor fathom any human being harming another so savagely and with seemingly little to no regret, as was illustrated when these men reportedly ran out of the burning Petit home laughing.

The laughter haunted us.

I remember when I first read a Cheshire Police-man's account of how he had watched from the bushes as the men ran out of the Petit home laughing and jumped into the Petit family car to make their attempted but thwarted escape

The home invasion itself, the predation, the brutal assault, the kidnappings sexual assaults and murders were already so very painful to consider. Yet we owed it to the victims not to close our eyes and cover our ears - this happened to their lives and the lives of every one who loved or knew them.

Two men just set this family's home on fire, gas poured on a mother who lay strangled to death at their hands. Her two daughters were still alive, terrified, doused in gasoline tied to their beds. It couldn't be a more terrifying scenario.

The laughter between the men showed all of us that these men were not under duress and/or panicked
as they claimed during or after these horrible crimes. Rather the despicable laughter showed a mocking and a self satisfaction akin to giving each other the high five after murdering an innocent family!

Their laughter proved beyond any doubt not only full intention, but indeed a glee and a self satisfaction with their just executed murderous spree.

This was just too much evil too comprehend for any of us, and it haunts me to this very day as I know it haunts thousands of others across the globe.

So when I saw that Steven Hayes, the man who has assaulted and strangled Jennifer Hawke- Petit in July 2007,was volunteering to bypass all of the built in obstacles to his death sentence -and seemingly " get on with it" so to speak, I naturally felt a relief, a reflexive hopefulness that perhaps he'd had time to think about the horror of his actions and realized the depth and breadth of the pain that he had caused - not only to his victims and their family but so many others who were and still remain deeply pained and traumatized by his and his accomplices actions.

But as I scanned excerpts from Hayes letter to the Hartford Courant today I immediately saw that this was
actually narcissism at its finest' THEY are treating ME so badly, they are making me just want to die rather than continue living like this!"

I wasn't surprised by the self absorption of the letter and indeed what turned out to be a giant complaintive lament/ bid for attention. The persecutory view and self victimization are hallmarks of Sociopaths and Narcissists alike. But still, still I found myself, a seasoned armchair forensic psychiatrist, who knew better, vividly disappointed and disgusted all at once. There was just so much at stake.

A true conscientious request to have ones own death sentence carried out due to spiritual or emotional epiphany, a" better late than never" conscience by even one of these two murderers, would have healed and possibly even restored something in all of us so familiar with this crime. It is that inexplicable desire to make human, even the least human among us, despite our wariness, we still long for it. I know I was drawn in and I'm an old hand at this sort of thing.

And on top of it all adding insult to injury, we had to hear the obligatory Public Defenders office apologists/ advocates with their official take on Hayes's letter:

The" plight" of men in solitary confinement, the subsequent natural suicidal ideations due to cruel and unusual prison conditions yadda ya, all thrown in for good measure.

These are men who have raped children, shot and raped elderly women, murdered, maimed and willfully and wantonly destroyed innocent life. And yet our official spokesmen for the most treacherous killers in our state were, as always, ready at the gate to feel Steven Hayes' pain.

Who spoke for the victims pain, for the entire extended Petit family's pain? For the thousands of us who didn't need to know Jennifer, Hayley and Michaela to experience a tremendous sense of pain, regret and trauma for what they endured - because two career felons given early release parole by this state, were intent upon fulfilling their own sick desire for a fleeting sense of power and control over others?

Others that they perceived as having it better than them.

And as is too often the case, no one weighed in from the States victims advocates office or head State's Attorney's office. Key issues such as early release parole and the death penalty repeal in all of it's supposed prospective glory - none of this was touched upon - not a word.

The argument can be made that perhaps the official proponents for victims didn't wish to give Hayes's letter any more credence and attention than it had already received. Or...perhaps they weren't asked. Niether of these reasons passes muster with me. because the bottom line was that the result was that as per usual, the voice for the victims, the human beings who are the embodiment of these violent crimes, was once again glaringly absent ; Another opportunity missed to address the core issue's that Steven Hayes's letter presented to the judicial system the victims and the people of this state.

And.as a final insult, the reader had to wade through what has become the Connecticut Public defender's and liberal legislator's obligatory Michael Ross reference, ie " pulling a Michael Ross" a common refrain with that stops a hair short of making a canonized martyr of the worst serial killer of women and children that our state has ever seen.

Sep 29, 2012

Ride for Justice from St Paul through Burlington to Cheshire MapThe "RIDE FOR JUSTICE" is upon us once again!
The event has become annual but originated in 2010 when two close friends of William Petit Jr came up with an idea for a Motorcycle Rally Fundraiser in order to raise money for the Petit Family Foundation.www.Petitfamilyfoundation.org The Petit Family Foundation is a non profit charity organized in the wake of a tragic home invasion that took the lives of Jennifer, Hayely and Michaela Petit, leaving husband and father William Petit Jr critically injured.

As Dr Petit two friends happened to be Motorcycle enthusiasts, they likely integrated their own love of Biking with the well established fact that Bikers in general are givers- philanthropists in their own rite; Thousands of bikers particpate in motorcycle rally's each year, traveling special routes all over the country to join forces, often raising money for children's charities and other worthy causes.

In other words, Bikers are known to have Big Hearts.

The " Ride for Justice" like many of the Petit foundation events emanated from people within the state of Connecticut and beyond intent on keep the kind and giving spirit of the "Petit girls" alive. In doing so they continue to raise monies for the growing Petit Family Foundation a non profit charity ( Petitfamilyfoundation.org ) formed in the wake of the murders after a veritable outpouring of (unsolicited) donations were sent to Dr William Petit Jr from all over the country.

In the meantime, Dr Petit, still deeply grieving, slowly began the challenging and harrowing ascent from victim to survivor-ship, and the Petit foundation would seem to serve as a respite as well as an engine for healing for he, his family and the entire community.

The Petit Family Foundation, it's fundraisers and rallies had become a positive focal point for the many, many people across the state and beyond, so greatly pained by Dr Petit's unfathomable loss, and the cruel nature of the crimes themselves. It allowed others to heal by translating terrible crimes and loss of precious life, into Good; all helping others and perpetuating the ideals of Dr. Petit's departed family.

Everyone participating in helping the Petit Floundation and its sub charities, in even the smallest of ways, were each helping to restore Michaela, Hayely and Jennifer Petit towho they were in life, carrying their fine qualities onward, they were preserving the Petit "girls" legacy of kindness and good and servioce to the community.

By 2010 it had been three years since the crimes had happened; the Foundation had transformed from a relatively small grassroots charity to a substantial non profit of reckoning whose many events, rallies and donation drives, were already making a huge difference in the communities surrounding Cheshire, as well as many other areas of the State.

Most importantly The Foundation was bringing people together and making a substantial difference in the lives of many people who were in desperate need of resources and assistance; all due to the hard work of Bill Petit Jr and his massive ever growing circle of volunteers and helpers.

From the Foundation's sizable donations to organizations that helped victims of violence,( with a focus on domestic violence/sexual assault, to helping adults and children struggling with chronic illness, the Petit Family Foundation developed a purposely broad mission statement, which had one constant at its core: the desire to help people in need, particularly those who lacked the resources and/or ability to help themselves.

Altruism, compassion and activism were qualities that family and friends all described as central in the lives of Hayely, Jennifer, and even eleven year old Michaela Petit. It was in fact a quote borrowed from Michaela's Face book page that inspired what was to become the Petit Foundation's by now infamous slogan

. "Be the Change"

These three powerful words were taken from a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. At such a tender age, Michaela Petit chose this quote as her "favorite quotation" on her Facebook page:

" You must be the change that you wish to see in this world"

What better way to honor the Petit "girls" than to emulate their giving and caring natures.

While all of the Petit events are wonderful affairs, I have to admit that "The Ride for Justice" is one of my favorites. It strikes a chord and touches my heart in some inexplicable way that I cannot necessarily convey with mere words. Suffice to say the video at the top of this post may help in this regard..

Seeing a brigade of otherwise tough, burly looking men riding in perfectly paired unison, atop shiny chrome tinged chargers, there faces somber but at the same time - glad to be of help on a sunny Sunday morning, doing what many love the most riding their bikes. They do so to pay respect to the victims to Dr Petit, his family, and at the same time they are there to help others in need.

All of this brings tears to my face. A mixture of sadness hope and pride. The same kind of tears that fall when I watch a group of aging veterans decked out in full dress uniform, navigating their way some in wheelchairs others on foot, in small town parades.

And then there is the excitement surrounding the arrival of thousands of motorcycles descending into this typically quiet New England Town. The energy in the air literally vibrates, everything changes at once: the diversity of the riders are as mixed as the folks who come to watch,. some with children atop their shoulders elderly folks some with walkers and others with canes.

The onset of Race day is enough to make anyone feel like a kid again. With a massive deafening roar, hundreds upon hundreds of shiny, colorful Motorcycles, come riding in double formation. Some Bikes hold lone riders, bearded men with bandannas atop mostly Harley s some old some new but all appear lovingly waxed and polished for the occasion.

There are the sport bike enthusiasts, weekend riders, straddling lower slung foreign bikes that have an entirely different look and feel. Most of the bikers ride with partners, arms wrapped, almost proprietorially around the driver's chests; The entire brigade is led by a imposing gaggle of helmeted State Police upon their Motorbikes, lights ablaze and flashing. On this day, every rider is a brother, all here for a common good.

It is surreal and heart warming to witness this display of diversity and unity. all for a greater good..

A greeting line has formed where each attendee patiently waits their turn to meet sole survivor turned philanthropist, Bill Petit; These tough looking men shake his hand, or, as was more often the case, give him an genuine heartfelt hug, some leaning in and in hushed tones they share whispered words, words that they hope will convey condolence, respect and inspiration. One need only see the faces to understand the message imparted. As is always the case,Srl Petit is profoundly gracious, and he returns every hug in kind, accepts the claps on his back and shakes every hand proffered.

This massive display of kindness, compassion and altruism, from a horde of men that many ( wrongly) assume are hard or macho, this this is what moves me so at this event..

You see. the message quickly becomes clear:: most people are good, kind and compassionate. We may dress differently, choose different lifestyles, jobs, recreation, but none of that is what really matters.
Love, compassion, healing and faith, these are the things that weave us all together..

And now this lesson has been added to the growing legacy of Michaela, Jennifer and Hayely, as they are resting in Gods loving arms, they will surely continue to inspire us.

Sep 14, 2012

2012 Event (9/30)

The “Ride for Justice” leaves St. Paul Catholic High School in Bristol, CT and follows a scenic route along country back roads into prime Connecticut Fall Foliage areas! We will travel through Bristol, Burlington, Harwinton, Terryville, Wolcott and Plantsville, arriving at Bozzuto’s Food Distribution Center in Cheshire in time for an awesome Outback Steak House family style BBQ.

Registration at St. Paul Catholic High School from 9:00 to 11:00 am…Ride leaves at 11:30 am
Cost: $25.00 per Rider, $15.00 per passenger.
No Bike Needed! Walk-ins - $15.00.

Live Entertainment starts at 9:00 am at St Paul High School with Face4Radio and at 12:30 pm at Bozzuto’s with The Happening! Come early and bring a friend!

This event was the idea of committee chair, Ron Catucci, a long time rider and his friend Keith Stack. Upon hearing the idea, long time Petit family friend Vincent Trantolo offered the assistance of his firm, Trantolo & Trantolo LLC. They were instrumental in organizing the event and securing generous help from Yankee Harley Davidson and Bozzuto’s Food Distribution Center. Not missing a step, Ryan Lucas the Manager of the Southington Outback Steak House very quickly stepped in and offered to do “whatever it takes”. Our first two rides had over 1200 motorcycles participating and over 3000 people in attendance. We look forward to 2012 being even bigger & better!

Sep 13, 2012

I am alarmed disgusted and shocked at the ineptitude of the Fairfield Police Department in regards to their response to a recent string of stalking crimes in town. These crimes have all the earmarks for potential violence and confrontation.

It is an ominous sign indeed that rather than progressing in their awareness and response to
such serious crimes as stalking harassment and destruction of property, the Fairfield Connecticut Police department collectively would indeed seem to be regressing to a dangerously apathetic attitude such as the one that prevailed in Torrington Connecticut in the 80's.

I am of course referring to the Tracy Thurman case which resulted in a near fatal stabbing and
a massive lawsuit against the Torrington Police department. Sadly it took bloodshed and a multi million dollar civil lawsuit against this Police department to bring about much needed change in our States Domestic violence laws, including serious crimes such as stalking and restraining order violation.

The Thurman lawsuit seemed to provoke a change in the Police departments response to all crimes that fell under the umbrella of "domestic violence".This includes dating violence

I have written about this type of crime for well over six years. I better than anyone know that a lackadaisical attitude by Police in an escalating stalking or harassment scenario is the perfect foundation for a predator. Police complacency is a predator/ stalker/ batterer's best friend.

The Fairfield Police have not only been remiss but glaringly irresponsible in the way that they have chosen to handle a clear cut repeated pattern of stalking and harassment crimes. The fact that these crimes are being committed at a home where a restraining order exists makes complacency a perfect recipe for re-victimization.

Ironically, below is a photo taken from the Fairfield Connecticut Police department's own website regarding Domestic Violence. Note the statement regarding "trusting the system"

Sep 11, 2012

Below is an article that I first wrote in September 2009.
I now re-post it every September 11th as a small way of honoring of the depth I feel about this tragedy especially after 911 calls such as Mr. Cosgrave's really brought the reality of these victims pain under a magnifying glass; lending so much more clarity and humanity to an event that we were already so pained by.

As one little boy said in his memorial to Kevin Cosgrove on the 911 Memorial Page, although he was young when 911 happened -He was only ten) seeing Kevin's video and more importantly, hearing his entire 911 call, capturing his moment of death, forever changed the way that this youngster looked at-experienced the entire scope of the tragic events.

Distant Media camera views of two gashed skyscrapers emitting large plumes of smoke, along with incessant TV shots of the hijacked planes piercing the skyscrapers thousands of feet in the air,lent children and adults alike, what became a grateful distance, as the mayhem and human carnage was so mostly so very high in the air pulled from our immediate view,.
Those simpler images are what most children saw broadcast on the day these acts of barbaric terrorism struck our nation.;
Perhaps because even adults were not yet courageous Nor wise yet to see the many smaller but oh so human experiences of that day; I admire Mrs. Cosgrove for allowing the tape to be used both in the Moussaoui trial, but also to be posted publically on the internet likely giving the matter great thought hoping to humanize these massive acts of terrorism for millions of people across the world, many of them too young to remember the day itself nor the heroism

The Falling Man

I was researching an article in Esquire entitled "The Falling Man"

It was a poignant multi-layered culmination of stories about the September 11th victims that were beginning to be incorrectly referred to as the " jumpers",
Not only is the term a total misnomer as the families and morgues were quick to correct it was insulting; Most were forced to to leap out of broken windows in the towers due to encroaching fire and heat, some literally blown out of windows at the onset of the planes collision with the buildings, which was made so much worse by the hijacked aircraft's pre=planned full fuel tanks. The terrorists wanted maximum carnage ,It was through the Falling Man article that I came to know about the existence of the 9-1-1 calls most made by victims trapped on the higher floors of the towers.
I had been made aware years earlier a plethora of heartbreaking answering machine messages made by victims to family and friends, as they anticipated their probably deaths. The calls came from both the hijacked planes and the towers after both tower one and two were struck
Listening to the collage of such sad and personal messages left by frustrated trapped fire victims had stuck with me for months and at one point I vowed I wouldnt listen to anymore of them because the pain of the caller and the family members who recieved them was just too great to bear.
Now, a few years later Kevin Congreves 8911 tape presented itself; my personal role as activist for crime victims had evolved and the importance of Kevins' s frustration and pain and the fact that he left a message for us led me to decided I/ we owed it to Kevin Cosgrove ro listen to that last minutes of his life and his dedication to his children his wife and his struggle to see them again,
After a great deal of waffling back and forth, I finally made a decison and mustered the courage to listen to Kevin Cosgroves 9-1-1 call.I have to admit, I wasn't prepared for what I heard; Listening to the call was much worse than I expected. It was as if I was right there with Kevin. The experience was gripping, heartbreaking and left me forever changed. actually experienced the physical symptoms that Mr Cosgrove was enduring; the black thick smoke that was choking him and making it almost impossible for him to see. The growing panic and the obvious frustration of the man as he nor the other caller were given any concrete information as when help might be coming.

Kevin Cosgrove worked at Aon Corporation on the 83th floor. But as designated office fire chief, he tried to make certain that most of his group of Aon employees evacuated after the North tower was hit, he then called his wife assured her he was okay and began the descent down the stairs on foot just as the second plane hit the south tower.

The explosion and heat smoke probably drove him right back up now to the higher floors, to the roof, this the place where his fire training had always taught him to go in situations like this - to ascend was ones only hope to the roof, for a helicopter rescue.

Tragically. the roof door was locked, as was the roof-door on the North tower -hundreds of people attempted that same superhuman climb up miles of stairs, many flooded, covered with debris only to discover locked doors. Tragically in any event there was no chance that a helicopter landing was possible in either building anyway, the smoke and heat made any roof rescue impossible, yet I watched those helicopters and small planes circling those towers and I was so frustrated and angry as I imagined the office workers trapped with broken windows and flames behind them, wondering why the rescue helicopters were not attempting to help them!? Perhaps they thought that rescue baskets could be dropped to swing to the broken windows as the copters hovered as close as they possibly could to the buildings. All I know is that there were hundreds of people waving flags, sheets shirts and scraps of material, some climbing down the face of the building, believing that those helicopters were there for a reason, for some kind of rescue...and yet, there was none.In the meantime Kevin Cosgrove took his exhausted body and climbed back down flights and flights of stairwells by foot, facing growing smoke labored breathing and panic; he must have run into the first office where he spotted other men or voices gathered It was this office on the Southwest corner facing the financial center that he made his now, infamous 9-1-1 telephone call from.As one person on his memorial page expressed so aptly, "I found myself not wanting to let go of him." at the end of the call.I can only imagine what that well meaning 911 operator felt as the call ended so horribly.And like many others who chose listen to this and other 911 phone calls, they have forever changed my perspective of that terrible day.
Kevin Cosgrove's 9-1-1 call was one of three used as evidence in the Moussaui trial, and this is why this tape along with Mellisa Doi's and a few others became available to the public.

After reading this post in it's entirety, if you wish to listen to the tape, I have embedded a version that has a heart warming biography of Mr Cosgrove's life giving us a real feel for who he was at his very core. A good man., a family man.I warn that listening this tape will be an extremely emotional experience, and it will forever change anyone who listens to it. At first I regretted having listened because the callers plight was so raw, so awful and much worse than I expected - and I could not shake the memory or the feelings. It was a Pandora's box I felt. However as with other crimes, rather than take the easy way out and avoid, because it was unpleasant, I came to see that we should never regret sharing our brothers pain for me a necessary pain a pain that ultimately transformed 911 from a terrible tragedy day to something altogether more more personal, raw, human and moretrue. I came to understand that we owe the victims, at the very least, the truth of their experiences created by these violent acts. Embracing the complete unvarnished reality of their experience. This tape leads us there.

The pain that all of us feel upon hearing these desperate callers describe the horrific conditions in the towers, their fear over their likely imminent deaths, and the distress in having to leave their families and loved ones, made us now feel that we knew them. By becoming privy to the most intimate last moments of their lives, this has allowed us to honor their experience without the whitewashed effect of distant news- camera shots of a burning buildings thousands of feet in the air. Even the sudden and awful collapse of the towers into veritable dust bowl, like so much else that happened that day, was utterly surreal as it happened. It was not that we couldn't and didn't consider the horror of what was going on way up there, where our eyes could not see. It just wasn't in our face, so to speak, and we gratefully took advantage of that kind distance, because really, the horror might have been too much for us to bear. The voices of the people on these tapes and their stories change all of this forever The people themselves now reside in us. We carry them..Many people have asked why I listened to the Cosgrove and other 911 tapes and why I would encourage others to listen, when it was so sad and so awful. I always share that sometimes circumstance presents an opportunity where pain can serve as an engine for greater understanding, and ultimately, spiritual growth as human beings, individuals, and a society. This is one of those times.The Internet has opened up a door for us. I do not suggest using it as voyeurs, but as caring witnesses . We can use the powerful emotions that are triggered in us, the empathy, the pain the frustration and even the anger, to bring us to a new level of awareness about violent crime, tragedy, and the value of life and death.When reading the memorial pages of the 911 callers, many people shared that problems that has just seemed so important in their lives prior to listening to Kevin Cosgrove's desperate last minutes on earth, immediately were diminished. And a new found appreciation for what one had in their lives spring up.
This was not a rare thing, a great many people cited this tape as a turning point in their lives, an appreciation for every hour of every day, marked by the experience of listening to words of these poor souls who expected to have a regular day and were robbed of their lives their loves.
Thousands expressed gratitude to Kevin Cosgrove and his family for giving them an opportunity to rethink the value of their own lives through his experience..The link below is to Kevin Cosgrove's Memorial Page. New condolence messages appear weekly from all over the world since the 911 tapes were released. I am certain that the Cosgrove family reads them, and I hope that they provide some solace to them, knowing that their beloved father, husband, brother and friend had such life changing impact on so many.As we read them we see again and again people saying that they now embrace their daily lives, lives they has been taking for granted. I read memorial messages from young people who shared that they were not old enough to grasp the reality of 911 when it happened they were too young or immature and to them it was a piece of history obviously considered a massive "tragedy" But many did not personalize it the empathy and compassion wasn't there because it was too distant and they we rent taught about it from a humanistic perspective, merely a history class.

These young people often went on to tell of shedding their first tears about this tragedy after listening to Kevin Cosgrove call and his last final minutes in the burning South tower. This is but some of the reasons that I now realized releasing the tapes was the right thing to do.My hope is that we will be more inclined to spend our time ministering, helping people that are in pain or in need, As well we will live each day to the fullest and be grateful for the time we are given and those people whom we are gifted to share our love with.

Rest on Peace Kevin Cosgrove, Doug Cherry, Melissa Doi and every single hero and soldier that lived out their last hours heroes all on this sad and infamous day that shall never be forgotten.

About me

Writer, Healer, Activist for victims of violent crime and proponent for State-wide sentencing reform. For questions or information about crime-victim's rights or victim support services and referrals, pls email me in
confidence using the email link within my Blogger profile.
You are not alone!