]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2020/05/06/equenergys-blog-is-moving/feed/0Canva - Arrow Sign PostequenergyLooking for Eco-friendly giftshttps://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/12/01/looking-for-eco-friendly-gifts/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/12/01/looking-for-eco-friendly-gifts/#respondSun, 01 Dec 2019 10:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1408If
you follow my blog and/or social media, you’ll know that I’m passionate about
Nature. For me, part of this is looking
for ways to be more eco-conscious in my purchases.

I
previously posted about looking for ways to use less plastic and shortly after
this, I was contacted by a company called Life Before
Plastik who wondered if I would consider writing
about them and their products. Having
taken a look at their website, I was very happy to do so.

They
might not be the largest company selling eco-friendly products but they’re
still young (as I write this on 11 November they’re celebrating their 1st
birthday) and they’re continuing to add
new products to their collection. Not
only that, but they also have videos and other useful information, such as
using ecobricks and how to use bar shampoos.

Their
product categories include:

Bathroom

Beauty

Skincare

Haircare

Home

Kids & Baby

Pets

and
a couple of others. They also have a
particular section for Festive Ideas and they include a gift wrapping service.

I’ve
had some correspondence with them, and they have been responsive, helpful and
accommodating.

Even
so, I wouldn’t be entirely comfortable making a recommendation without actually
trying them out – a good excuse for some gift shopping, including some things
for myself!

In
my first order I bought:

A sisal soap pouch (a
great way of using up those little slivers of soap at the end of the bar – put
them in the pouch and use like an exfoliating rub in the bath or shower)

Shea butter soap (for
my face)

Argan and oatmilk
shampoo bar (not my first choice but this was sold out so obviously popular)

And Sea Salt and Moss
soap-on-a-rope (which will be a Christmas present for my uncle)

My
order arrived within a couple of days, very neatly wrapped in brown paper. When I opened the parcel, I could see that
they’d used recycled packaging – an old chocolate box and newspaper – along
with ‘wood wool’. I love it when a
company extends their ethical ethos to include how they send out the
products! They’ve told me that this
includes their gift wrapping too:

“It comes with products packaged in a recycled
cardboard box filled with wood wool, before being wrapped with twine and a
choice of a reindeer or santa post gift tag.”

This is an image from their website:

When
it comes to wrapping your own presents and parcels, they also sell paper tape,
a plastic -free alternative to Selotape.

Another
couple of points that I like about this company are that:

they stock a range of
vegan products

they are UK based and
therefore there’s less of a carbon footprint in terms of shipping for me,
compared to ordering from the US and other countries.

Of
course, there are also other companies offering great eco-friendly
products. Another that I used recently
is Plastic Freedom. I ordered some products from them also:

vegan lip balm

cocoa butter solid
moisturiser

an olive wood soap dish

They,
too, have a Christmas range and also stock makeup, clothing and food.

Again,
I was very pleased with the products and service.

A
couple of other sites that I’ve noticed, but not yet used are Beauty Kitchen
(who have a festive range of products) and
BYBI.

Whatever
and however you’re celebrating this month, I send warmest wishes to you and
yours.

See
you in the 2020!

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/12/01/looking-for-eco-friendly-gifts/feed/0productsequenergyComing Home to the Selfhttps://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/11/02/coming-home-to-the-self/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/11/02/coming-home-to-the-self/#commentsSat, 02 Nov 2019 09:50:41 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1395Recently
I’ve been thinking a lot about why I do what I do, and why I love working with
the people who come to me. Basically, it’s
because I was that person.

Rewind
a few years and I was very unhappy. Initially
I tried to tell myself that I was ‘fine’, or at least that I was ‘coping’ and
that “many other people have things much worse than me”, but I was
experiencing health problems which were leaving me feeling low, exhausted and
overwhelmed.

At
the time I thought that if this or that thing changed, or if this or
that person would just do things differently, then ‘everything would be
ok’. In short, I was looking for answers
outside of myself. I tried various options,
including counselling, but they just weren’t helping to make the changes I so
desperately craved. I wanted someone who
would really listen, and give me the advice, support and tools I felt I needed
for things to feel better.

I
continued searching, which led me to an online course entitled Integral
Enlightenment , run by Craig Hamilton. This course encouraged the participants to
view life from both a relative/duality perspective (our daily experience) and
also an absolute perspective, ie the perspective that is outside of Time and
Space. This helped me to develop a
deeper self-awareness and a consciousness of my responsibility for my own
actions, thoughts, beliefs and feelings, while also knowing where this
responsibility ends; that is, to discern the things that are not mine to take
on board. (Having been a first-born
child, a ‘fixer’, a ‘control freak’ and a ‘perfectionist’, this was a big step
for me!)

I
started to see – and accept – that the only thing I could change in my
situation was me! I had been trying
to ‘fit in’, and to go along with others in order to ‘keep the peace’, thinking
that this was my only option, but each time I said ‘Yes’ to something that didn’t
feel right to me – either verbally or through my actions – I was effectively
saying ‘No’ to myself. This was causing
me high levels of stress and deep unhappiness.
It was part of a pattern that I had learnt as a child, but it was no
longer serving me. Something needed to
shift in me for me to feel better.
The answers had to come from within, not without.

Far
from making me feel helpless, I suddenly felt that I had the power to choose
which direction I would go from there.

For
me, this naturally led on to exploring:

Who am I, and
what do I want in my life?

What are my values,
and how can I be more aligned with these?

I
began to understand that when I am honest with myself about my feelings, reactions
and responses – and I take responsibility for these – then life is simpler, and
feels more authentic and less overwhelming.

Also,
when I was able to get clearer on my values and I how I could express these
with integrity, I felt empowered and recharged.

I came to realise that when my thoughts, values, beliefs and actions are congruent, it’s a very peaceful– and also powerful – place to be. It brings new clarity, insight and energy, and allows me to feel comfortable in my Self. That is, I feel ‘at home’ in my own skin. And, isn’t this sense of knowing who we really are, and feeling safe and able to fully Be that Self, isn’t this what we really want from Life?

I
came to realise that although I had thought I needed advice, support and ‘tools’
in order to change my life, what I really needed was a safe space to explore
who I really am and how to Be that more fully.
I worked with a couple of therapists along the way who helped me to do
this exploration. They mostly just held
that safe space and walked alongside of me, sometimes asking me questions or helping
to shine a light for me to find my own steps. I discovered that this was actually
what I wanted and needed, rather than advice.
Their support was gentle, encouraging and offered with a ‘light touch’,
mostly just allowing me to see that the wisdom and resources that I needed were
already within me, all I needed was a way to connect with them.

I’m
sharing a little of what my journey looked like, not to say that anyone else
should take these same steps, but to give hope to anyone who is struggling
right now. I know that everyone is an individual
and so their journey will be unique to them.
There is no ‘one size fits all’, but that is the wonder and beauty of
Life in all its richness, variety and colour. That’s why I don’t have a fixed programme for
people to follow and my work is always tailor-made to the person and their
situation.

I
am now honoured to share parts of the journeys of some amazing people, holding space
and shining light for them as they find their own path and reconnect with their
inner power and beauty. Each one of them
is an inspiration and a joy to me, and I love to watch as they find their feet
and step into their ability to continue on without me, or to return
periodically for a bit of self-care.

We now live on a Welsh
hillside and I care for 2 horses which means that I’m pushing barrow-loads of
hay up and down to the fields and poo-picking a couple of times a day, so my
energy and fitness levels are also much improved!

Having
reached a vey low point myself, I know how despair can suck all the Life and fun
out of everything. But having found my
way back I can tell you that the sun shines even brighter now, because I
appreciate it all the more

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/11/02/coming-home-to-the-self/feed/4coming home to yourself 1equenergyEquenergy blog is back!https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/10/12/equenergy-blog-is-back/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/10/12/equenergy-blog-is-back/#respondSat, 12 Oct 2019 12:51:08 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1377Hello again! I’m back – a week later than planned, but I’m here now, and I thought I’d give you a bit of an update on what’s been happening here at Equenergy.

The original plan was to take time off from posting here and to use it instead for reflection and for focusing on some other things that I’d been wanting to do for a while.

Well, as is often the way of things, this didn’t entirely to to plan! Life got in the way, as it tends to do, and the month seemed to pass much faster than I’d expected.

One of the big things I noticed in slowing down a bit and giving myself a little more ‘space; was something that I’ve felt brewing for a while was able to come to the surface…

Today is the 1 year anniversary of our move to Wales. The seasons have gone through a full cycle and we’re once again approaching winter with its shorter days and change in the weather. (I’m partly welcoming the cooler temperatures of Autumn, particularly as I’m currently in the throes of ‘power surges’ – aka hot flushes!) I also love the light, colours and fruitfulness of this season and the fact that the recent rains have restored the spring and the stream.

We’ve done a lot of work on the place over the last 12 months (mostly my wonderful husband, without whom none of this would have been possible) and we’ve learnt a lot about what it’s like to live here ‘on the mountain’.

new storage container

building fences

one of the new gates

water in the fields for the horses when the spring dries up in the summer

Although I love living here – and have such a sense of space and connection with Nature and ‘wildness’ – I freely admit that it hasn’t been easy at times.

I knew that stepping back from some things and giving myself some extra time, would bring me face-to-face with some of the feelings that I’d been too busy to deal with before. It’s felt like a kind of ‘deconstruction’ – taking myself and my hopes and dreams for this place apart, re-examining them and then seeing if I could put them together again in a way that ‘fits’, both for me and for this place.

In parallel with this, I’ve been looking at how I work, and what I offer, and I decided to make some changes. Partly these are to streamline things for greater clarity, and partly to be more effective and to make better use of my time – with less procrastination or doing things that are not bringing me closer to my joy.

As a result of all this I’ve merged my 2 Facebook pages into 1, and done the same with the groups. Originally I’d separated them into the work that I do with people, and my work with animals, but this ended up feeling more confusing due to all the overlap and duplication, so I’ve brought them together. I will be doing the same with my newsletters.

In addition, my website has been updated and revamped, courtesy of Swarm ICT. I’d love to hear what you think, and any feedback you might like to share. Click on this link to see the new site: https://equenergy.com/

Another change is that I’ve decided to post to my blog on a monthly basis, rather than weekly as before. This is in order to allow time for other projects. I’m considering exploring podcasts and video posts, so we’ll see how it goes…

One of the things I’d hoped to do over the last month was to finish a course / workshop that I’d been working on. (I’m not quite sure what format it will take, and it could potentially be run in a range of different ways.) It builds on the concept of ‘mindfulness’ to look at how we can be more ‘mind-body-spirit-conscious’ in order to live with deeper authenticity and congruence. When we are able to do this, we experience less stress and also greater ease and wellbeing in our lives. If this is something that would be of interest to you, please get in touch.

I wish you a happy and healthy October. For those of us in the UK it’s going to be a month of change as Autumn sees the leaves turn all the colours of the rainbow, the temperatures dropping and shorter, wetter days. The clocks will be changing soon and of course we have the upcoming Brexit. All of this can take a toll on our energy levels, so don’t forget to include lots of self-care in your plans for the weeks ahead. If possible, include time outdoors too, as sunshine and fresh air are so important for our wellbeing as we approach winter.

See you in November!

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/10/12/equenergy-blog-is-back/feed/0Im backequenergyTaking a breakhttps://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/24/taking-a-break/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/24/taking-a-break/#commentsSat, 24 Aug 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1368I came across a great blog post the other day by ‘The Flying
Witch’, Gabriella Guglielminotti Trivel entitled Time
for Wholeness. Ms Tivel’s blog carries the subheading ‘Flying with the
feminine’ and in this particular article she writes about her experiences
of going through perimenopause and needing to observe and honour the changes
going on within her body.

This made me think about my own situation. I, too, am at this stage in my life, while
also going through a lot of other changes – home, location, work, animals,
friends, etc. It’s been an exciting,
stressful, wonderful, and exhausting 12 months, and so I felt it was time to take
a look at where I am, currently, and assess how I’m doing with all that’s been
going on.

The answer is that I’m feeling rather drained, and a little bit
lacking in ‘mojo’.

I’ve therefore decided to take a step back from writing this
blog for a while. While I love writing
and sharing with you – and would love to engage more with you all – it’s time
to take a short break. Instead I’ll be
using the time to focus on resting, recharging and reassessing where I want to
go next. I also have some other writing
that I want to make time for, such as the mindfulness course that I’ve had
sitting on the back burner for a while.
It’ll be good to get this done rather than having it sitting, staring accusingly
at me from my To Do list!

Also, I have a VIP guest coming to visit next month – my Mum is
coming over from Ireland to see our new home for the first time. I’m so excited and can hardly wait to share
this magical space with her. It’ll be
her first time meeting Dax and Rika too!

So, I wish you all a wonderful September with whatever you have
planned, and see you again in October.

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/24/taking-a-break/feed/1I'm taking some time to go within; to rest, recharge, revitalise and create.equenergyIs your summer feeling like a bit of a wash-out?https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/17/is-summer-feeling-like-a-bit-of-a-wash-out/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/17/is-summer-feeling-like-a-bit-of-a-wash-out/#commentsSat, 17 Aug 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1356How
is your summer going? I hope you’re
getting at least some sunshine, though the UK has been experiencing some very
unseasonable weather this August! This
can make such a difference to our mood and motivation levels, particularly when
we’ve been holding on for our summer holidays and counting on warm sunshine,
only to find that it’s cold, damp and grey outside.

We
were thoroughly spoilt with hot dry days last year so the contrast can add to
our disappointment. All those plans we’d
made for a ‘staycation’ or day trips with the kids during the holidays, might
have ended up being a bit of a wash-out.

Many
of us work hard during the winter months, thinking that we’ll be able to take
some ‘down-time’ in the summer: images of sitting on a beach, or park, or just
in the garden, sipping a cool drink, and soaking up those warming rays, are
what keep us going during those cold months…

We
can end up running our batteries down, promising ourselves that we’ll top them
up again in the warmer months…

At
least, that’s how I’ve been feeling. We
moved here in October of last year on the day that storm Callum arrived and
ended the 5 glorious months of sunshine.
We then spent the winter working hard to fix leaks and get the place set
up for ourselves and the horses. I know
that I, for one, was hoping for a nice long summer to recharge and have more
time just to enjoy being here, before the challenging weather returned.

But
these things don’t always go to plan, do they!

So,
what can you do if you’re finding that you’re sitting indoors feeling depressed
at the wet, grey view from your window?

This
can actually be an opportunity to go within and to rest deeply. Sitting in the sunshine obviously feels
amazing, and does great things for our wellbeing, but cooler, greyer weather
can call us to a kind of ‘hibernation’ and it can good to take advantage of
this, listen to our bodies and relax into that deep state of rest.

Also,
if we’re not careful, sunny days can draw us into a different kind of
busy-ness, with parties, weddings, barbeques, gardening, outdoor repairs, and
so on. All of these can be fun but it’s important
to balance them out by taking a break every now and then.

And
rainy weather is the perfect opportunity / excuse!

In my work I meet so many people who are frazzled and run-down. They have an endless To Do list that just seems to get longer and their holiday, or time off, is a distant dream that keeps getting put off to another day.

But
remember that:

And…

So,
on those ‘not very summery’ summer days, don’t despair! Try not to feel frustrated or upset at the
weather, because after all it’s not something we can change. Instead, use the time for some self-care:

book a massage, or some
Bowen or aromatherapy

have a session in a
jacuzzi or float tank

do some yoga,
mindfulness or meditation

read a good book

or just have a lovely,
indulgent afternoon nap!

And
remember:

I’m
sure you can come up with lots of other things to do! Please feel free to share your suggestions in
the comments below.

If
you struggle with taking this time out for yourself, and some little inner
voice is driving you to keep going even though you’re exhausted, then I can
help. Together we can explore where that
little voice comes from and how to address it, so that it can let go and give
you the peace and permission you need in order to fully rest and recharge. After all, this will mean that you can function
much more effectively and enjoy greater wellbeing. You’ll also have the energy to include those
fun things in your life that you’ve just been too tired / busy for previously.

If
you’d like to have a chat, you can contact me by phone, email or through my
website:

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/17/is-summer-feeling-like-a-bit-of-a-wash-out/feed/1Canva - Person Wearing Pink Knee-high Rain Boots Standing on Brown FloorequenergyWhat is guilt? Is it healthy? Does it serve any useful purpose?https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/10/what-is-guilt-is-it-healthy-does-it-serve-any-useful-purpose/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/10/what-is-guilt-is-it-healthy-does-it-serve-any-useful-purpose/#commentsSat, 10 Aug 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1346According
to some, having been raised an Irish Catholic, I should practically have a PhD
in guilt! Seriously though, seeing the
effect that it has on people’s lives, I do ponder this feeling, and its
consequences, from time to time.

Recently
I’ve been thinking about how strongly it relates to shame. For most of us, this is something that we
learn at a very early age. This means
that it’s acquired during the phase of our lives (0 – approximately 6 years of
age) when we accept things without question, and without the ability to judge
their validity or helpfulness. As a
result, shame is something that is very longstanding, deep rooted and can have
a profound impact on our lives. It is
also – as alluded to in my, slightly flippant, comment above – often embedded
into our culture, helping to perpetuate and strengthen its hold on us.

So,
is it healthy, and does it serve any useful purpose?

If
I can address the second part of that question first, I believe that guilt is
only useful in as much as it alerts us to discomfort. It shows that there is an issue that needs
addressing.

When
we experience discomfort in this way, it indicates that our thoughts are out of
line with our Higher Self’s views on the subject. For example, if I do something that makes me
feel guilty, my inner critic is telling me all those self-shaming thoughts,
such as:

You’re a bad person!

You never get anything right!

You’ve failed again!

What a stupid mistake that was!

In
contrast, our Higher Self never judges us, and certainly would never
address us in less than loving terms.

So,
our discomfort makes us aware that we’re out of alignment. We’re not being true to our Higher Self.

If
we drill deeper, we’ll probably find it’s not just the shaming thoughts that
are off balance, they’re most likely coming from our deeper awareness that we’re
not living as our Best Self – we’ve allowed ourselves to be distracted by other
things.

In
today’s world we’re spoilt for choice on ‘distractions’:

Social media

‘Will we / won’t we’ Brexit?

And, whichever way it goes, what impact will this have on the economy?

Has environmental damage gone beyond repair?

Then,
of course, there’re also the ‘minutiae’ of our everyday lives:

What to have for dinner

Who will get together with whom on Love Island?

What are people thinking of me / of what I said / of how I look?

All
of these things can occupy our thoughts, meaning that we’re not fully
present much of the time.

As
a result, we often act, or make decisions, on a largely subconscious
level. We can end up going through our
days on autopilot, reacting rather than consciously responding to situations,
allowing the nervous, anxious, fearful part of our mind to make our decisions
for us. This can result in things like:

Over eating

Over spending

Not stepping out of our comfort zone – eg trying something new

Avoiding situations that we find challenging – eg meeting new
people

Self sabotage

When
we notice that we’ve made decisions that were unwise, and maybe got us into
trouble, we then feel guilty. This isn’t
‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ – no feelings are, and it’s impossible to turn them off anyway
– it’s what we do with this feeling that’s important.

Do
we get ‘stuck’, listening to, and engaging with those shaming thoughts?

Or
do we explore the feelings and learn from them, seeing what changes we can make
to move closer into alignment with Who We Really Are, in order to live a life
where we make conscious choices that serve us, and that feel authentic
and honest, and where we can be responsible and accountable rather than feeling
guilt and shame?

This
can be challenging, and will require us to look deeply at conditioning that we’ve
carried since childhood. Others have
referred to this as ‘un-domestication’ or ‘rewilding’. It’s a visceral process and requires
deconstruction and reconstruction, but you don’t have to do it alone, and the
rewards feel amazing: self awareness, autonomy and freedom.

I
think that this is the only value of guilt and therefore I don’t feel that it’s
a place where we should spend any more time than absolutely necessary. In fact, to return to the question of ‘is it
healthy?’, generally, beyond the initial recognition and finding the issues to
be addressed, I would say that the answer to this is ‘No’.

On
the contrary, guilt is often very restricting and deeply uncomfortable. It keeps us small and can be very stressful
which, as we know, impacts on our wellbeing.
That inner voice also isn’t content with just criticising our current
choices. If we are prepared to listen, it
has a nasty habit of dragging up every perceived failing and every ‘mistake’ we’ve
ever made. It also projects its beliefs
onto others, telling us that they, too, see us as not good / clever / skilled
enough.

So,
what can we do?

Start
by taking a step back and observe the things that your mind is telling you,
without engaging with them, knowing that they are merely the product of your
conditioning and your natural negative bias.
Don’t try to fight your mind, it’s just doing its job, and it’s not
really open to persuasion anyway!
Observe, without judging, and accept that this is what the mind does –
not just yours, but everyone’s.

You
can then make a conscious decision about whether to go along with what your
mind says, or choose a different option.
You don’t have to push yourself too far out of your comfort zone. Small steps and small challenges will help
you to build your ‘consciousness muscles’ allowing you to stretch and grow.

As
you become more self-aware you will be able to identify the things you
really want in your life, the things that light you up and fill you with
excitement and joy. These are your guide
in creating the fulfilling life that you long for. These are where you discover your ‘purpose’. You aren’t here for the ‘should’s, ‘have
to’s or ‘ought to’s. You’re
here to Be Who You Really Are and to let that light shine out. You’re here to experience and grow and en-joy
the journey.

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/10/what-is-guilt-is-it-healthy-does-it-serve-any-useful-purpose/feed/6burden of guiltequenergyMy animal is showing anxious and defensive behaviours – what can I do?https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/03/the-behaviours-process/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/03/the-behaviours-process/#commentsSat, 03 Aug 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1340How to recognise the escalation steps and know the appropriate response at each level

In another role, I recently attended a 1-day refresher course in MAPA® (Management of Actual and Perceived Aggression) run by CPI (the Crisis Prevention Institute). This course looks at what happens when an individual’s tension starts to rise, and how we can respond – rather than react – in order to hopefully diffuse the tension before it escalates further and possibly turns into aggression.

MAPA® teaches that there are 4 stages in this
process:

Anxiety

Defensiveness

Risky behaviour

Tension reduction

When we can respond appropriately at each stage, it allows us to address the level of tension in the ‘least restrictive’ manner.

The
suggested responses are:

Be supportive

Be directive

Use (minimal and proportionate) physical intervention

Engage in therapeutic rapport

Listening
to the trainer, I began to realise that this makes a lot of sense for our
interactions with our animal friends too!

I like simplicity (as you might have seen in my recent post) and so MAPA®’s 4-step process resonated with me and I thought I would share, in case it might prove helpful for others too.

The
first step we need to take is to observe, and become familiar with, our animal’s
baseline behaviours:

How do they appear in a variety of situations and settings?

What does their ‘happy’ look like?

What does their ‘slightly uneasy’ look like?

What does their ‘worried’ or ‘anxious’ look like?

If they have a disagreement with another horse, what behaviours do they show and how do they behave afterwards? (ie during the tension reduction phase)

What do they enjoy? What are they good at?

When we know the answers to these questions, then we can start to gauge where our animal is on their scale of tension, and how we might begin to support them at each level.

Sometimes however, we don’t notice / recognise the subtle signals an animal displays to say that they’re beginning to feel anxious. These might be a tension around the eyes, mouth and ears, or behavioural clues such as yawning or looking away.

Most – if not all – animals would prefer to
keep their tension levels as low as possible, therefore their early signals are
an invitation to us to offer support in some way. If we aren’t able to at least attempt to
offer this – and animals are generally very forgiving, tolerant and accepting
of our sometimes stumbling and clumsy attempts – then their anxiety will
probably move up to defensive behaviour.

At this level we could see things like threats
to kick or bite in horses, or bared teeth and growling in dogs. Unfortunately, particularly with animals who
have been punished for giving these signals, we might perceive that they ‘suddenly
jump’ into the risky behaviour of charging or biting. However, if we are able to spot defensive
signals, then the MAPA® suggested response is
to be directive. With animals, since we
don’t have a shared verbal language, this will need to be in the form of body
language or movement on our part.

You could, of course, use a verbal command such
as ‘No!’, but I believe that if this was successful it could have the same
outcome as punishment, in that it might restrict the animal’s choices in
communicating their feelings. Over time
they might stop showing the lower level signals all together, meaning that we
no longer have the opportunity to step in and respond to help them release /
channel their tension.

Our animals can’t learn to speak, however with
a bit of effort and practice we can learn to read their body language and
facial expression (see more about this in my blog
series) and
work together to create a set of signals that have meaning for both participants.

At this level we can use ‘re-direction’, that
is shifting the focus to something else.
The ‘something’ would depend on the individual, but you could use things
like movement, play, touch or breath. Obviously,
this should be something that you know the animal likes, or already knows how
to do, and so can feel the reassurance of doing something that is ‘easy’ for
them and at which they can be ‘successful’.

When the animal has reached defensive behaviour, they are beginning to lose the ability to think rationally which is why the response is to make the decisions and direct the activity at this point.

However, if we miss this opportunity for the animal to release their tension, the next step is risky behaviour. This is when their behaviour becomes much more dangerous, that is, the animal attacks in some way. At this point they have completely lost the power of rational thought and their entire focus is self-preservation. They have lost the ability to be conscious of our vulnerability! The training from CPI – which I highly recommend – covers a range of disengagements from various holds, but with animals, unless you’re trained and have the necessary protective gear, the best response at this point is to get out! Move away and get to a place of safety.

No animal, including ourselves, can hold this level of tension for a sustained period. It takes a lot of energy and is exhausting. When they run out of steam, they need to be allowed a period of tension reduction. For some this will mean being allowed to have some quiet time by themselves, whereas others might want contact and reassurance. This allows the individual to recover their sense of balance and can give us a chance to re-establish bonds of friendship and trust that might be feeling a little frayed.

We too might need support after being the target
of an animal’s risky behaviour, to help us recover and not lose our
confidence

It’s important to point out here that these steps don’t necessarily progress only in a linear fashion. An individual who has started to ‘de-escalate’ in tension, could be re-triggered back up the scale at any point, if they haven’t yet reached full tension reduction, so be aware of possible triggers and of any signs that their arousal level is increasing again.

I hope this simple set of steps helps to provide a useful way of approaching tension in your animals, but please remember that your safety must come first at all times. If you feel that you need support, I recommend calling on the services of a good behaviourist to help you build a deeper – and safer – connection.

(Images courtesy of Google Images and Canva)

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/08/03/the-behaviours-process/feed/2How can we best support our animal friendsequenergySo, you’re a horse whisperer then?https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/07/27/so-youre-a-horse-whisperer-then/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/07/27/so-youre-a-horse-whisperer-then/#commentsSat, 27 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1316Clarifying
some misconceptions about the work that I do

Often,
when people hear what I do, I get asked this question, but for me it’s not so
much about whispering, it’s about listening.

Another
misconception is that I offer Equine Facilitated Therapy. This isn’t strictly true either, at least not
in the traditional sense.

So,
I thought that it might be a good idea to explain a little more about my work,
or at least a part of it. In this post,
I’m going to look at one of my favourite aspects – where the horses and people
come together.

My
aim is that this should be a mutually beneficial experience, that is,
that both the horses and the people should be supported by their time
together.

I
often see animals used in therapy or assistance roles and I wonder what, if
anything, they get from this. Sometimes
they have a particular role to play, a ‘job’ if you will, for example a guide
dog, and they provide a much-valued service, but when do they get
something back? Guide dogs, I know, are
well looked after and they’re given regular health checks, but their role can
be stressful at times.

Things
are shifting and there are many programmes out there now that are seeking to
come from a more heart-centred and animal-led perspective. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all assistance
and therapy animals were given more support in their roles? This could be offered in the form of massages,
Reiki and self-selection sessions, for example, just like we might take a ‘spa-day’
if we’ve had a tough few weeks at work.

I
used to volunteer with a group who gave horse riding lessons for people with
disabilities. This offered many benefits
to the riders, but the horses were often stressed, which came out in ‘unwanted’
behaviours. Some of these horses had to
be retired as they were no longer suitable for the role. I struggled with this and wanted to find a
different approach, one where both parties felt better after their sessions.

So here at Equenergy I’m exploring a different way.

If
you’ve been following my posts, you’ll know that we have 2 horses living
here. Both have had challenging
experiences in the past. Dakota (Dax)
was taken from his mother at 1 month of age and left to starve. When he was rescued, he was riddled with worms
and had to have extensive veterinary support.
Thankfully he is now a very healthy 8-year-old, however his tough start
in life has left him with some emotional issues.

‘Rika
was a brood mare for many years. She was
used for breeding and all of her foals were taken from her to be sold on. When she didn’t conceive after being put with
a stallion, they decided that she was no longer of any use and put her out for
the meat wagon. She is the most
beautiful, gentle soul you could ever hope to meet, but she was considered ‘worthless’
if she couldn’t produce any more foals.

‘Rika (left) and Dakota (Dax)

These
2 beautiful animals support me in my work, and I want this to be something that
benefits them too and supports them in becoming happier and healthier
individuals.

I
believe that for anyone to offer a therapeutic space for another, they should have
the space and opportunity to have that support for themselves. As a therapist and coach myself, I need to
have worked – and be continuing to work – on my own issues in order to be able
to hold a healing space for others. I
think this is also true for animals who are involved in this field.

All
of us are still ‘works in progress’ and there is much to be gained by
travelling the healing path together. Take, for example, the programmes in
America where offenders are paired with rescued dogs or horses and together
they learn how to create a healthier, more balanced life for themselves.

I’d
love to see more opportunities for mutual learning, creation and growth of
this kind. We might not have the perfect
answers yet, but with time and an open, curious mindset, hopefully we will find
a way to walk alongside our animals in ways where they benefit from the
partnership as much as we do.

I
recently wrote about ‘rewilding’, and I believe strongly that our animals have
much to teach us on this subject, too.
But in order for them to be able to do so more fully and authentically,
they must be allowed to be as ‘wild’ as possible themselves. I know that this is a real challenge, on even
a small scale, with the resources that most of us have available, but I think
that the more we can give healthy freedom to the animals in our care, even when
it challenges us, the more we can learn and grow.

So
how do I bring people and horses together?

A
session with the horses here at Equenergy means that you get to stand just
outside the field and start by getting grounded and tuning in to the energy of
the place and all the living things around you.
Horses are naturally curious animals so often they soon come over to
meet with us and may spend some time in this shared space.

I
encourage people to be ‘mindful’, that is, to be fully aware of their
surroundings: the sun, breeze or even rain on their skin, the sounds, sights
and smells around them. This helps us to
get present, and when we’re fully present it helps us to release anxieties and
tensions as these generally relate to memories from the past or worries about the
future.

When
we can be in this ‘present’ state and hold that energy / vibration, it
encourages those around us to enter this same state. It’s rather like a tuning fork that causes
other things to resonate with the same frequency. Calming our breathing and our heart rate, through
getting present, supports others to do the same. It’s a phenomenon known as ‘entrainment’ and you can read more about it in the work of
the HeartMath
Institute and
Dr
Ellen Kaye Gehrke. Horses are particularly
sensitive to this, so when we can enter this state in their presence, it
supports their wellbeing as well as our own.
Not only that, but their electromagnetic field is much larger and
stronger than ours, so when they enter into this state it strengthens the
energy for us – this creates a wonderful healing circle with the energy flowing
in and around and bringing benefit to all within the space.

Another
aspect of this for the person / people in the session is that I ask them to
observe and take note of any feelings and thoughts that are coming up for
them. I might also ask them to see what
they can feel from the horses: can they get a sense of their energy? Do they
pick up anything when they tune in to either / both of them? These are things that we can then explore if
they would like to work further with me, using a tailored wellbeing package,
looking at any issues they wish to address, or objectives that they would like
to achieve.

If
this is something that would interest you, or you’d like to have a taster
session with the horses to see if it resonates with you, I’m happy to have a
no-obligation chat. Just give me a call
or drop me a line:

]]>https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/07/27/so-youre-a-horse-whisperer-then/feed/1So if you're not a horse whispererequenergywhat is self-compassion?https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/07/20/what-is-self-compassion/
https://equenergy.wordpress.com/2019/07/20/what-is-self-compassion/#commentsSat, 20 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000http://equenergy.wordpress.com/?p=1311I
was recently having a discussion with a small group of friends and the term ‘self-compassion’
came up. One member of the group was
unfamiliar with this word which made me wonder how many others are in the same
situation? It’s a fairly self-explanatory
concept, and one that’s very common in my field of work, but perhaps it’s
incorrect for me to assume that it’s part of everyone’s vocabulary. And if you haven’t come across it in any
specific sense, is it something that you would consciously apply in your life? I therefore thought that I would post
something to make self-compassion more explicit and also maybe to say what my
thoughts are on what it is, and what it is not.

To
start with, I thought I’d look at some definitions. Compassion itself can be defined as:

“a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for
the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them”

According
to vocabulary.com Compassion “is a word for a very positive emotion that has to
do with being thoughtful and decent… When you feel compassion for someone, you
really want to help out.” https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/compassion

Self-compassion then, is when we show these feelings towards
ourselves. If we’re experiencing feelings
of inadequacy, failure or suffering of any kind, instead of being critical of
ourselves – a very common response – we can choose to be warm, understanding,
sensitive, gentle, considerate and kind.

So
why, you might ask, would we want to do this, and isn’t it a form of selfishness
and self-indulgence? If I’ve done
something wrong / foolish, don’t I deserve to feel guilty / stupid?

Well,
firstly I would say that if any – even small – part of you resonated with that
last sentence, I would like to gently invite you to notice your self-talk. Using labels like ‘wrong’, ‘foolish’ and ‘stupid’,
I believe, is unhelpful. They put us
into a state of shame which is deeply uncomfortable and only adds to our emotional
suffering at a time when we’re already feeling pretty lousy.

I
also think that there is very little to be gained from feeling guilty, other
than to notice the emotion and to learn from it, by which I mean to observe the
discomfort and to explore what triggered it and what wisdom that holds for you
about who you really are and the choices that you make, so that you can make
choices that are more authentic for you in the future. Beyond that, I feel that guilt serves only to
make us feel bad, and how can we be our best selves from that place?

In
fact, if we don’t do this, we can end up experiencing burnout and ‘compassion
fatigue’. This is basically when we’ve
exhausted our inner resources, leaving ourselves ‘running on empty’. This is not sustainable and can result in
becoming ill and unable to function fully for a time, until we can rest and
recharge. If we’ve allowed ourselves to
reach a very low point, this recovery could even take years… so much better to learn how to look after
ourselves now.

Also,
a phrase that really hit me a few years ago when I was pushing myself too hard
and not taking time to replenish my resources, was:

How
then do you recognise if you’re experiencing compassion fatigue? According to goodtherapy.org the main
symptoms include:

If
you would like to explore self-compassion further, please get in touch. I offer bespoke wellbeing packages which address
this, and I also run workshops helping you to develop self-awareness and learn
strategies for self-support.