When I was in middle school, my dad found an old ’64 mustang that he somehow bartered for.

That old mustang was in bad shape from all aesthetic points of view. As memory recalls, the dashboard had been kicked in, seats were in poor condition, steering wheel was broken and many more problems I wouldn’t have understood. All this little girl knew was “that car is ugly and doesn’t work”. Those ‘flaws’ were of no importance to a man on a mission; that man was my dad. There was nothing he couldn’t do if he set his mind to it. So he set out to transform an old junk heap into a sweet sixteen birthday car!

The memory of that old car and my dad restoring it was a great thing for me. Those ‘daddy and me’ memories have held me over all these years as well as kept me safe. When I think of him working with hood up in the evening, me trying to hold the flashlight while daydreaming and gazing out at the stars, and his getting frustrated with me because he couldn’t see what he was doing, I can’t help but smile. He got mad, my feelings got hurt and we moved on. That’s dad time.

Dads take note: Your daughters don’t need your money or bright shiny new ‘things’, they need a daddy. They need daddy advice about guys, cars, girl gossip, dating, drugs, finding good friends and other daddy advice. Dads, there needs to be more advice and time for your daughters. BE NOSY! ASK QUESTIONS! Your daughters need their dad to protect them and if you don’t ask they won’t tell.

My dad was, and still is the KING, he’s the best. He can do or accomplish anything! You’d have to know my dad to understand, but I think he really can do anything. I suppose that’s how kids are supposed to view their dad right? Anyway, he got a second job at the retail car parts store and worked to purchase the parts for that old mustang. Sometimes I’d go to see him at work and he’d show me what he was working on adding to the car. Dad let me in on some of the particulars of the process. The paint colors, interior ideas, and even the most extreme ‘bad a**’ steering wheel were on his agenda and “I”, his ‘favorite oldest daughter’ was in the forefront of the decision-making and idea process. I was “ALL THAT AND MORE”, or at least I thought so just because I ‘got’ to spend time with him. Anyway, that old mustang was transformed into a beautiful metallic blue paint that sparkled when the sun hit it. It had bells and whistles and one killer steering wheel that shot sparks when honked! When I turned 16, that beautiful baby was my birthday gift. Unfortunately, 8 days later, I was driving with some other youth in their car when we hit a tree and I spent the rest of my high school years in a wheelchair. That’s another story, not one worth speaking of, it cost my parents so much money and heart ache that it’s one of those things I’ve always held in quietly because I felt shame for putting them in so much debt. Anyway, dad still loved me and to this day I say “I’m your favorite oldest daughter” and he smiles because he knows it. *wink*

My dad is, and will always be my hero.

It’s not about the amount of time we spend with our loved ones, it’s about the quality of that time.

When dad spent time with me as a youth, some of the most important values for my life came from that time with him. It also wasn’t the new shiny car, it was about the time I got to spend with him. He, as a man may never understand me, that’s ok. The life’s lessons I learned from him; such as “never drink with boys”, “never let a man buy your drink or he’ll think you owe him something”, “put this dime between your knees at the party and if a boy wants to spend time with you, hand him the dime and tell him to call me first”, and all those other dad things he taught me have kept me safe all these years. Including the ‘gun cleaning parties’ he and his friends would have when my sisters or myself would bring boys home. I can laugh now, it wasn’t funny then. That time with him was valuable and I’ll cherish it for the rest of my life. That car was just something my hero wanted to bless me with, what he never realized was that time building that car shaped the rest of my life.

To recap dad’s character building for his girls:

* Never drink alcohol with boys/guys/men (anything with a penis)

* Never let a boy/guy/man (anything with a penis) buy you a drink.

* Put this cell phone between your knees when you go to this party, it’s dads cell phone and if a boy/guy/man (anything with a penis) wants to spend time with you, hand him the phone and tell him to call your dad first.

* Dad and his friends have gun cleaning parties when a boy/guy/man (anything with a penis) comes to date his daughters.