Hanging Jokes

Funny Jokes

Indecent ExposureA blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"She says, "Why, officer?""Because your breast is hanging out."She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself.""You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

A Brigadier General was inspecting a Scots Highland in full parade dress. There were rows and rows of kilted brawny fine Scotsmen. As the Brigadier General started down the 3rd row he noticed a strapping lad at the end had a problem with something hanging below the hem of his kilt. As he approached the end of the row he stopped in front of this particular fellow, and looked him up and down.
"How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?" he asked
"Sur, I ben in the regiment abou' thrai yaars."
"Whu' might be yur name yung mun?"
"Me name's MacPhearson, Sur."
"Yur a credit to th' regiment, kape upp the gud wurk," said the Brigadier General as he moved on.
As the Brigadier General came to the 7th row he noticed another young man with something even longer below the hem of his kilt. He approached him and said,
"How long have ye ben in the regiment yung mun?"
"I've been with th' more...

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!"

A handsome mid-age couple, John and Gail, like living in Texas. Even though they have lived in Texas most of their married life John neverhad a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale at Sheplers one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?"Gail looks him over, "Nope."Frustrated John storms off in to the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"Gail looks up and says, "John, what's different? It's hanging down today it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down againtomorrow.Furious, John yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, GAIL? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"To which Gail replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, John. Shoulda bought a more...