I can remember trick or treating with friends, sometimes in MY neighborhood, or sometimes in theirs, it relaly all depended on where were felt like going. No one cared that one of us didn't live in the actual neighborhood. I now live in an apt, and while I don't give out candy since i am on the second floor, and it would mean running up and down stairs constantly, my downstairs neighbor does. I'll sometimes sit with her and "help" Neither of us cares which apt the kids live in! We just like seeing them in costume! and if i had a house, if i were giving out candy, it wouldn't occur to me to find out where they lived, whether it be down the street, or across town.

I don't live in a country that makes a big deal out of Halloween, so have no experience with issues surrounding trick-or-treating.

From an outsider perspective, this neighbour's plan seems unnecessarily exclusionary. Little children do not understand issues like treat prices, or distinctions between neighbourhood kids vs non-neighbourhood kids and a hierarchy of treats. All they will see is that their friend received special treats while they got something plain, leading to hurt feelings or conflict. So, all the kids should receive the same levels of treats (however special treats for exceptional costumes, younger kids/older kids etc is understandable and fine IMO).

Also, the neighbours request for kids to pre-register seems a little bit off and I think parents would be cautious about disclosing that information. Also, what a pain to have to check the names of 300+ kids!

Wouldn't it just be easier if the neighbor threw a neighborhood party not on the day of ToT and hand out candy to the kids then?

Kids love to get to wear their costumes more than once, no need to do a checklist and getting to know the neighbors can be a good thing.

Logged

"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

But am I the only one who wondered, "gee, I wonder why these people are so interested in gathering a list of kids who live nearby, and ingratiating themselves with the kids and their families as The Nice Neighbor Who Gives Good Candy?"

My DH is in marketing, and so much of it is about creating a group of "insiders" who willingly give up their info in order to get special treats - so you can then use that info later, and make them more open to your solicitations.

So are these neighbors going to be soliciting for Amway, or a political campaign, or ....something worse?

But am I the only one who wondered, "gee, I wonder why these people are so interested in gathering a list of kids who live nearby, and ingratiating themselves with the kids and their families as The Nice Neighbor Who Gives Good Candy?"

My DH is in marketing, and so much of it is about creating a group of "insiders" who willingly give up their info in order to get special treats - so you can then use that info later, and make them more open to your solicitations.

So are these neighbors going to be soliciting for Amway, or a political campaign, or ....something worse?

No, I admit my first thought was, "What kind of a person wants a LIST of all the families with small children within a few blocks of their house?"

It might not be the most charitable thought, but I am having trouble being very charitable about such a curmudgeonly idea. Nobody is forced to give out Halloween candy, for goodness' sake!

All it is going to take is one smart kid with a camera phone to take a photo of said flyer and post it on the internet and they are suddendly going to have a lot more people pre registering than they expected

All it is going to take is one smart kid with a camera phone to take a photo of said flyer and post it on the internet and they are suddendly going to have a lot more people pre registering than they expected

Or, it could end up going viral and the neighbors will be publicly ridiculed over the internet.

What a strange, creepy idea - an A list and a B list for Halloween candy.

When I was a teenager we had an A list and B list candy bowl. We had them near each other at the door and would grab one after we opened the door. A list was for young kids and had fun sized chocolate bars of various types. B list was for older teens and had hard candies like the tiny round foil chocolates, jolly ranchers, and smarties.

I wasn't allowed to trick or treat after 12 and didn't really like giving out candy to other kids my age or older who still were allowed to go.

They were never super bad or insulting candies in the B list, just not quite as good. Also if you were an older teen, but you came with a bunch of littles you got A list, cause you were playing by the rules and using taking younger siblings or cousins out as an excuse to trick or treat.

I think our system would work better (and be less creepy) than having a list of the neighborhood children. We never got egged. I think my Mom has stopped since I moved out and stopped being a snarky teen, but she still doesn't approve of trick or treating as a teenager.

Someone said that when she got comfortable financially, she would give out full sized candy bars. Both happened to me at the same time, and I do! Unfortunately, we are one of 3 houses on the boulevard, so few people bother with us. I make it worth their while!

A friend once accidentally got two copies of a highly popular computer game and the company that made the error didn't want it back. He had a lone teen come to his house, asked the kid if he was into computer games and if he needed this game. Wow! Coolest thing ever for both friend and teen.

I already posted that I would never do this tier thing with Halloween, and I would never 'register' my kids for the A List treats. Probably skip the house altogether.

Registering for the good stuff? Oh deities what is wrong with these people??? If they want to pick and choose who gets what, why not just do what my sister's neighbor does and make special bags for certain kids and give them out ahead of time? Since older DD was little, we have always gone to my sister's neighborhood. It started because when she was 2-3, we lived in a neighborhood that was all apartments and walking up and down steps would have lasted about 10 minutes, but then I was in a decent neighborhood after but sister loved having her come over and the neighbors all knew us. I would avoid that house for fear my kids wouldn't make the cut for the 'good stuff'. And TBH, my kids think everything except raisins are good.

Ok, so then Halloween comes, and you get this steady stream of kids of all ages. Every once in a while, someone yells out "Trick or Treat! Oh, and I pre-registered!" And now the person at the door has to stop everything and check the list. And if the kid's on it, he or she gets "the good stuff." And this happens in full view of people who didn't know about the pre-registering bit. So they start asking. And now this family has a big crowd in front of their house; some are pre-registered, some aren't, some are asking, some are answering. But, as is the nature of large crowds passing along information, not everyone is getting the full story. So they're asking again. And some people are voicing their disagreement with the "policy." And some kids are saying they pre-registered, but their name isn't on the list. Or it's there, but it's been checked off already, so they're being accused of double dipping. So the next year, the family decides to install one of those fingerprint reading machines like they have at the entrances to the Disney parks. And then we find that some kids are pre-registering more than once and with different names. And if you didn't pre-register but you live close by, you can still get a good treat, but you have to swear that you are telling the truth and sign and have notarized an affidavit saying that you agree to the terms and conditions of the contract and you will give back the candy if and when someone is able to prove that you actually did pre-register AND already got good candy.

Honestly, this is way too much effort for something that's supposed to be fun.

Ok, so then Halloween comes, and you get this steady stream of kids of all ages. Every once in a while, someone yells out "Trick or Treat! Oh, and I pre-registered!" And now the person at the door has to stop everything and check the list. And if the kid's on it, he or she gets "the good stuff." And this happens in full view of people who didn't know about the pre-registering bit. So they start asking. And now this family has a big crowd in front of their house; some are pre-registered, some aren't, some are asking, some are answering. But, as is the nature of large crowds passing along information, not everyone is getting the full story. So they're asking again. And some people are voicing their disagreement with the "policy." And some kids are saying they pre-registered, but their name isn't on the list. Or it's there, but it's been checked off already, so they're being accused of double dipping. So the next year, the family decides to install one of those fingerprint reading machines like they have at the entrances to the Disney parks. And then we find that some kids are pre-registering more than once and with different names. And if you didn't pre-register but you live close by, you can still get a good treat, but you have to swear that you are telling the truth and sign and have notarized an affidavit saying that you agree to the terms and conditions of the contract and you will give back the candy if and when someone is able to prove that you actually did pre-register AND already got good candy.

Honestly, this is way too much effort for something that's supposed to be fun.

And that's it in a nutshell!

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata