Recently, I've had lots of different stuff in the back of my Lorry (full weight 3 axle tractor and usually full weight tri-axle trailer - 44 tonnes gvw).

I've done a fair few loads of "cardboard" - though thats in rolls, going to the factory before it's made into corrugated stuff that makes the boxes.

The boss gets "us" to deliver the card and then pick up a "back load" to drop off locally before the trailer goes back to the port for onward passage to wherever in Europe.

My back loads, have mainly been "garden aggregates" i.e. like paving slabs, or fancy lawn edging or similar.

Last friday, it was a little different. I had too deliver 10 pallets full of "rubber stress breasts" and 4 pallets of "licking gel" (kiwi and cherry flavour) to a well known company that does lingerie, sex aids and stuff like that. There was a wagon in front of me that had another 12 pallets of various "lubricants" and one parked behind that had "dressing up fun" clothes (santa "suits" I think it was).

They in turn, had a pallet for me to collect. I turned out that it was about 500 "inflatable husbands" (though who'd want those or whether they were going back to the manufacturer for some reason - punctured??? ).

And yes, it did make me chuckle when I found out what I had in me wagon.

It also got me thinking. Yes, ok, you might be able to guess whats in the back of lorries that have brand or company names on them, but what about all those wagons that are unmarked or the ones that have some generic transport company name on them?

Of course, the style of some of them might be a giveaway i.e. flatbeds are for timber, aggregates and other stuff that isn't so weather dependant, but all those "curtain siders" or those containers with various international origins???

I mean, who'd admit working somewhere that makes condoms or something equally "seedy" (practical of course, but you do get a slightly seedy or tacky feeling about places that deal in such products).

It's gonna give me a real headache next week, just wondering what could possibly be in the next wagon to go past, in the other direction!

Well about 20 years ago I worked for a Swiss bank, and occasionally they had bullion deliveries, but rather than coming in armoured Group 4 vans it came in what was superficially a a fruit & veg delivery truck. If you saw it driving round the M25 you would have thought it was just a load of brocolli, cabbage & stuff from Holland, but inside were 3 or 4 pallets of gold bricks!

My point exactly - I mean, OK, the "stress breasts" are probably aimed at "David Brent" type characters who think they're the life and soul of the office etc etc.

But you just never know do you? All those wagons. I can recognise the plain ones that are likely too have food in them, as they're usually fridges, but if it's not grub that needs temp control, it's in the same kind of box or curtain sider that could have literally anything in them. You often get a good idea from the companies who's motors have "strong corporate identies", plus the "chines whispers" of the trade, but theres a hell of a lot of anonymous trucks out there.

I suppose it's just a matter of time before I end up with a wagon filled with stuff a lot more "sordid" than rubber boobs, licking gel and "inflatable husbands"! My gaffer obviously has some dubious connections

Over here in Sydney there's a plaza in town called 'Martin Place' which has an underground train station. On standing at the top of the stairs on street level, and glancing to the right. One can't but help notice the building with tall ceilings and big , what looks like, brass doors. And the sign 'Australian Mint'. There are sidings leading off from the station. And a redundant aqua duct system under the ground.

I used to work for a govt dept once where i was involved in photographing old linen plans of Sydneys water system for microfiche storage.

Demi Moore would have to be in on it of course, hmmmm, one can but dream i suppose (grin)

jm

Last edited by jjmac on Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, according to the "gaffer" I've got another "run" to that well known purveyor of dubious products tomorrow. God alone knows what will be in the load - I know that I've to pick up some more of the licking gel first. I wonder if it'll be flavours other than cherry and kiwi or whatever it was last time???

If I find out, I'll post back! (laughing smiley used, as there doesn't seem to be a sniggering one)!

bigjohn wrote:Well, according to the "gaffer" I've got another "run" to that well known purveyor of dubious products tomorrow. God alone knows what will be in the load - I know that I've to pick up some more of the licking gel first. I wonder if it'll be flavours other than cherry and kiwi or whatever it was last time???

If I find out, I'll post back! (laughing smiley used, as there doesn't seem to be a sniggering one)!

Ha ha! They cancelled the collection of the licking gel - apparently it wasn't ready.

So this time, it was "bondage kits" and chocolate body paint (which I understand is also for licking).

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Perhaps this is the real reason for the epidemic of obesity in this country. Once upon a time sexual activity provided a good aerobic workout for couples: now it's just an excuse to pig out on chocolate!
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