Who Owns 9/11?

We need to stop feigning surprise when politicians politicize 9/11. Rudolph Giuliani has tried to copyright the phrase 9/11 and annex Ground Zero to his backyard. The man literally acts like he’s married to the [event](. If he keeps it up, there’s an outside chance that Giuliani will transubstantiate into 9/11.

Despite these efforts, it turns out that 9-11 is not a wholly owned subsidiary of Giuliani for President. Another candidate with New York ties running for president has also thrown her hat into the race for [9/11 supremacy]. Hillary Clinton released a new campaign ad that's in black and white (the official color of 9/11) and shows the senatorwalking through the wreckage in the trademarked 9/11 facemask that we now know should have been given to somebody who was actually working that day.

Where is this latest passion play airing? New Hampshire and Iowa of course, two states that have been attacked by approximately 0 terrorists. Can’t you just see the small town Iowan voter saying, “You know mother, I thought Giuliani was the only person who knew the exact location of Ground Zero, but watching this Clinton ad, I see that I was wrong.”

Well now we all know that Hillary Clinton cares about 9/11. And so does Rudy Giuliani. Everybody on the same page now? Who cares about 9/11 the most? That would be the person who has done the most to rebuild Ground Zero back up to new glory. That’s why I’ll be voting for, uhh... Hey, look at the monkey!