Every now and again I feel I like the Disciples when Jesus says, "you have been with me this long and you still do not know me?" And it makes me sad, frustrated and immobile. Today is one of those times.

As I sit in my office, making decent money, driving my own car (which my family has three in our possession right now), working on my own laptop, wearing a J. Crew shirt, GAP pants and Sketchers; I reflect on my day thus far and wonder, am I betraying my call as a Christian?

The church I work at has a lot of money and people yet we seem to be an establishment of the status quo. We do not have relationships with the poor (except we send some money and used clothes every now and again), we do not work for social justice in any way, we have worship which speaks to a specific type of person and we have a huge endowment which sits there.

I do not want to bash the church, we do a lot of good, however I wonder if we are focused on maintaining the building, upholding the status quo and reinforcing our own empire rather than transforming our community, building relationships with the poor, and rivaling the Empire.

Here I sit, immobilized wondering if in fact if being a minister at this church and NOT doing these latter things if I am betraying my call?