i am water (? - ?)

So much has been written about the elusive identity of i am water that there has been a paucity of serious discussion about his (or her) work. Professor Don Foster, who sniffed out the true identity of the writer of "A Funeral Elegy" (William Shakespeare), Primary Colors (Joe Klein), and The Bible (an extraterrestrial from Ceti Alpha XI, not some nameless mystical "God," as popularly believed). After carefully examining the Lowku series, the Vassar professor concluded that ''i am water’’ is either Archie Briarwood, a semi-retired merchant marine who has been known to frequent the local bars in Key West, or former Secretary of State Madelyn Albright.