Thursday, February 10, 2011

How to Fix Medicare and Social Security, Tantrum-style

We have two government programs with similar problems: Medicare and Social Security.

Both are basically pyramid schemes, as they rely on paying for the top of the pyramid with the work and money of the rest. And in both cases, we're running out of money for the programs because we're going to be paying out more than what we're taking in.

One solution is to allow more immigrants into America.

But the Tantrum has a better solution: Make more babies!

It seems so obvious! If we all start getting it on with each other, we'll make more babies, who will then grow up and work. And the byproduct of working? You guessed it - funding the Medicare and Social Security programs.

Of course, there's some danger in getting it on too much, as that could burn off extra calories as well as count for some cardio. Although those sound like good things - and they are, as they would cut back on the rate of obese people, people with diabetes, etc - it also means that we would have longer lifespans, which means we'll be on Medicare and Social Security longer, and so we would have to actually make more babies to take our longer lifespans into account.

Invest in Viagra, people. The future of our society depends on its success.