Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

So, moving along have you (or someone you know) ever experienced a time after coming out where people say they love and accept you, but their actions or comments seem to suggest otherwise?

My partner and I recently got married ("married") and I was talking about marriage equality at work, and one of the ladies turned around and said "I completely agree that gay people should be able to get married - but don't know about them having kids. There isn't enough evidence to say the children won't be damaged".

Probably the first time my jaw has ever really dropped!

Needless to say, my partner I will be going ahead and having kids despite her unpopular opinion. We will make great mums! And there is no better ingredient that love and acceptance in a family

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

In your opinion, when it comes to family is it easier to come out to siblings, parents, grandparents or extended family? Why?

I came out to my cousin, who is the closest person to me. I knew she would accept that I am gay but it was the hardest thing to do. Once I knew she accepted me, I felt soo relieved and more comfortable. And i knew someone was there to help me if something went wrong

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

My mum has never approved of me being anything but straight and cis, but otherwise I have found a fair amount of support otherwise. Most people don't really understand diverse gender identity, but they usually try.

My significant other has also said he is really supportive, however still refuses to refer to me or treat me as the gender I identify as. Needless to say this may not be a longlived relationship :/

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

In your opinion, when it comes to family is it easier to come out to siblings, parents, grandparents or extended family? Why?

I am a very planned person and so I thought about who I would tell, when and how.

I basically told every member of my direct family one by one. Basically whatever I thought was going to happen never did...

My mother was the worst and my dad was the best yet I assumed the opposite. The fact is everyone comes from different backgrounds. Religious views, the way people were raised and their levels of confidence in their own sexuality influence their reaction.

To give you hope... When I came out to my mum I was standing in the doorway of the family home crying my eyes out explaining myself and how I felt. She stood there with a look of dissapoint and cold anger in her eyes. She said a few words and then wanted me to leave. Fast forward a few years and she lived with me and my ex boyfriend for a few months! Now she is perfectly comfortable with my sexuality and whilst we don't agree on everything, we dont need to. It's your life and realise you'll be happier being honest.Also don't feel like it needs to happen all at once. Some people come out a bit like an exploding rainbow, relax take a deep breath and think before you speak.

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

I think as someone who is sex, sexuality and or gender diverse you think a whole lot more about this stuff than other people and lots of people assume that they are not homophobic or transphobic or discriminatory against people who are intersex until they are contronted with having to respond to someone they care about sharing this with them. Sharing info, pflag resources, giving people time and know that your identity and body is never something that is wrong or something to be ashamed about and that it is the other persons process

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

Have you (or someone you know) ever experienced a time after coming out where people say they love and accept you, but their actions or comments seem to suggest otherwise? What can we do when this happens?

So far, I have nothing but positive experiences with the people who do know. Of course there will be times in the future where it will be met with harsh coldness and looks of disapproval etc. But I think it's about reminding yourself...this is my life, no one has the right to dictate how I live it. No one.