I’m writing you out of desperation. I have experienced the worst roommates ever – and it’s not getting any better! I’ve tried all the roommate websites, ads within local colleges/coffee shops and friends of mine or friends of friends. Im exhausted and upset. I need a roommate to be able to afford average rent costs. There’s no way around it – Im not lazy. Ive been working for years and I am a student. Ive been providing for myself for a long time. How do I find better roommates?! JUST ONE! They’ve got to be out there!

– Locked Away in My Own Home

Dear Locked Away,

That’s upsetting just to know that stable roommates are so hard to come by. At the same time – that’s a strong belief I have had since I was in high school. I actually deterred away from going away for college for the sole reason of having a roommate. It freaked me out to think that my room, my belongings, my personal space would be shared with a stranger. Even the thought of sharing space with my sister or brother – gets deep under my skin. All in all – it’s a trust issue for me.

You didn’t mention why your roommates have been such a bother so I’ll cover the bases on finding a roommate and then send you the warning signs of a bad one.

Clear up if you are seeking a female or male – * you may not advertise this because it’s illegal to base housing opportunities based on gender/age/status/religion/etc* but once an email/call is sent – you can use discretion.

State the Ages – without being specific – “young professionals” “middle aged” “college-level” and specify that you wish to find someone similar

Describe the general area of housing [id HIGHLY suggest against stating the address or cross roads in ad especially via Craigslist – until you schedule the interview] “By ____[landmark]” or “within 10 miles of the mall/college/Safeway/etc.”

Describe the room – provide dimensions, furnished or unfurnished, cable/WIFI access or not?, utilities included or not, other aspects of the house

Require copy of ID and paystub upon meeting

INITIAL EMAIL/PHONE CONVERSATION

Introduce yourself – explain the living situation [is there a current roommate – who else lives there – are there any pets – do you own the place – are you renting it for a year or a couple months – etc]

Ask them as much as you would want to know before letting someone into your home and personal space

Why Do they Need a room?

Where are they from?

Do they know the area?

Do they smoke/drink/party?

Do they plan on having their significant other over a lot [this does pose a problem in most situations]

How do they intend to pay rent – can they provide proof of income?

Do they use drugs or any heavy Rx? [this can be a red flag – depending]

Do they own their own car? [you may THINK this won’t be an issue…but…I’ll explain]

Ask for full name, contact # and email address [I’ll explain]

So…what do you think?

The ball is in your court now. How are you feeling?

How was their tone?

Do you feel it was a bit sketchy?

Unsure….?

If you AREuncomfortable:

Thank them for their time

State that you’ll go over what you guys have talked about and will get back within a couple days

You can either: not call/text or email or call/text/email and say you found someone else.

Intuition is MOST important – trust me.

If you areUNSURE:

Thank them for their time

Say that you would like to call them back once you decide a good day/time to have them over

This helped me discover a potential roommate had a history of abuse towards women!

This allows you to make your own judgement based on their profile photos or other photos – it may even show you that your person isn’t real or using someone else’s email!

If still feeling unsure – I would forget it and move on.

If feeling a bit better about it – take the following tips.

If you are COMFORTABLE

Schedule a time for them to come over

Aim for daytime – midday to ensure neighbors and other roommates are home

Most people do work during the day – so if it’s kind of late or early, ask a friend, relative or roommate to stay with you or by their phone.

Keep the house clean – make them want to be there.

Have all pets accessible – they need to know how many/what kind of pets they’ll be living with.

Print out a copy of the master lease and their own draft lease that covers all terms

Monthly Rent

Utility Policy

Pet Policy

Drug/Alcohol Policy

Deposit Rules – it is kept depending on lack of notice or failure of payment

Day of Meeting

Pay attention to details!

Are they attentive?

Is their car falling apart?

Do they look a mess?

Are they prepared for your questions/concerns?

Did they bring someone with them? If so – who and why?

Paperwork

Go over everything together.

Ask for their copy of ID and Paystub.

Make a copy for them and a copy for yourself.

Did it Work for you?

If so – make them a key, pick the date of move in

If not – tell them you’ll be in touch

Are you concerned of them knowing your address?

Keep doors locked. Keep place well lit and make a note of their tags.

My Top 10 RED FLAGS for Roommates:

They drink over 4x a week – in mass quantities

They are late paying rent on ANY of their first 3 months – if not all of them!

They can’t afford a full deposit within 3 months

They are borrowing money from you – and it’s not a friend of yours!

Food/Dishes/Dirty Items are collecting and making mass piles

Frequent yelling towards yourself, their guests/friends/family or yours. This includes mistreating PETS!

Drug Use/Frequent Partying

Lack of a Car – they’ll eventually be asking for rides or bus money at some point – at first it’s fine but let me tell you – it gets old, FAST!

Stealing/”Borrowing” of toilet paper, supplies, FOOD! or anything else that is NOT theirs, that they have NOT paid for, that you have NOT made “community” on a frequent basis. Without replacing [but even if they do – its obnoxious]

Needing to always know where you are, when you’ll be home or seems irritated if you have plans with other people

These are just my PERSONAL opinions – obviously there are more!

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About the Author - The Essentials by Chanel

A short and witty young professional with tons of advice for you to grasp onto. I can cover anything from relationships to small business management to modeling to photography to career changes to having babies. Bring it on!