To think we shouldn't be encouraged to lie about social events or to hosts

I've just started on the Lighter Life programme - its a weight loss programme for people who are more than 3 stone overweight. The first 14 weeks of this programme involve total abstinence from normal food. You are given food packs (bars, shakes and soups) and you have 4 of these a day. And water or black tea or black coffee. Nothing else. At all. Ever.

Now, lots of people have social events that occur in this 14 week time frame, either weddings, or summer bbqs or the like. Both our group leader and our manual for this part of the course have tried to address what to do in these situations to avoid food. (I'm guessing this is for when you don;t want to explain everything to people - I have found that when I start to explain it to people that you spend the next hour either answering questions or being told thats stupid, so I can imagine that if you had a huge family group you wouldn;t want to go over the same stuff again and again and again)

However, most of these coping things seem, frankly, to involve down right lying. Basically they have been things like "move your food around your plate and people won't know there is nothing actually going from the plate" or "wander around a buffet with a few crumbs on your plate and people will think you have eaten".

Maybe I'm being incredibly niaive here but if I was a bride and groom, I'd like to KNOW that someone wasnt going to eat the meal that I had paid for them to have - I'd give them the chance to sit at the table with everyone and be social etc, but I'd like not to have to pay for a plate of food that they know in advance they aren't going to eat. Or if I was hosting a bbq or something, I'd like to know not to count someone in the figures, rather than have them lie to me or deceive me about how much they are or aren't eating.

it is hard in a lot of these situatiuons to make your soup or your shake, and definately hard to answer all the questions about the programme, but I'm being left disillusioned by a programme which seems to encourage people to lie, especially to hosts who are entertaining them at their own cost.

I see your point but I woudn't dismiss the whole programme on that basis. It's just more acceptable in our culture to tell white lies in order to be polite. If that doesn't work for you, fine, do your own thing. (A friend of mine lost loads of weight on what sounds like the same course - I remember she even brought her milkshakes to a restaurant BUT she had checked with the restaurant first.)

If you feel uncomfortable then tell your hosts the real reason why you're not eating. Or else eat the food provided and 'ruin' your diet. Or else try another diet.

I don't each much and almost always leave something on the side of my plate in restaurants, at weddings etc. I'm not on a diet; I just don't each much. That's not much different to someone who pushes food around and then leaves it.

I think you are being unreasonable. People cope in different ways. Some are embarrassed to be starting on yet another diet and don't want people to know until they are sure of it themselves. If the advice gives people a coping strategy for this then I don't see the problem. If you are losing faith in lighter life because of this, it raises the question how much faith did you have in the first place?

Having said all that, I wish you the very best and hope that you achieve what you want.

Ok, sorry I was a bit mean and harsh there. When I want to lose weight I eat NOTHING but porridge with soy milk (unsweetened) and as much fruit as poss. It really works and it is real food and it's not as loop the loop adn people won't look at you like this but good luck! bally weddings! pain in the arse for a multitude of reasons.

This diet is certainly a good way to kick start an eating disorder Why not move from compulsive over eating to anorexia? Eating some poxy food substitute 4 times a day is not going to teach anyone how to eat properly and the minute you stop eating in this bizarre way the weight will pile back on because it is the original eating habits that get people more than 3 stone overweight in the first place - and this does not address them.

And teaching food avoidance and how to lie about how you have eaten when you haven't is just sick.

A friend of mine at work did this, lost 3 stone and looks fantastic. After she finished it she is now sticking to weightwatchers points style diet and has kept the weight off for well over a year now.

It's all very well for people to say "eat less and exercise more" but if it was as blardy easy as that then no one would be overweight would they? When you have a considerable amount of weight to lose then some people find it easier to stick to a diet if they can lost a significant amount quickly to encourage them to continue, rather than losing 2 lbs a week and knowing that has to continue for the next year.

You are right ,don't tell lies. Feed your meal to your partner or some other grubber- there is always one nearby- don't mention it to the bride; they are on the edge of insanity anyway. If it works for yoy I don't want to diss it- make it work for you- good luck!

Yes, just dump this programme, it is foul and unhealthy and dangerous and a TOTAL FUCKING CON! As is the whole slimming industry. They don't want you to develop a healthy eating pattern, they want you dependent on their disgusting crap, and making you feel guilty and isolated and encouraging you to sneak around and tell lies is part of it. While the whole slimming industry is bullshit (because dieting fucks your metabolism so you regain the weight you lost and then gain more as soon as you start eating normally) some of the 'programmes' operate EXACTLY like religious cults - only it's just your money they are after. And a hungry person is easier to manipulate anyway.