I really relate to the woman on this board who got wrapped up with a narcissist. So did I for three long harrowing years during which time he’d pursue me heavily then later dump me only to show back up and talk his way into my life again.

The first three times I fell for his excuses. The fourth time I told him if it happened again and I didn’t hear from him for two weeks it was over for good. At that point he upped the stakes and began pushing for marriage, working out, getting a stable job and generally showing me what a catch he was.

He also began to let more of his real personality show through with comments occasionally slipping that showed me how much he hated others, thought he was superior, etc. I also began to catch him in lies that he’d later deny he’d ever said.

However I kept shrugging these things off and whenver I confronted him on his behavior he’d respond by becoming twice as flattering and loving to me. Eventually I said yes when he again asked me to marry him. Right after that he then had to go out of town for the weekend to a friend’s wedding. He’d requested help getting his email sorted out and had given me his password so I decided to surprise him and have it all done by the time he got back.

When I went into his email I got the shock of my life finding out that a) he’d joined an online dating website three days after asking me to marry him b) that during two of the times when he’d disappeared out of my life he’d been sending out email after email to Craigslist casual encounters with pornographic comments inviting women over to his house for one-night stands and c) that he was also involved in numerous online gambling sites. This from a man who liked to brag continually about his high moral character!

When I confronted him on it he calmly explained that he’d just been doing research on women but couldn’t explain what that research was for. He then claimed I’d known and had been okay on it – trust me I hadn’t. He also claimed nothing had happened physically and that these women were nothing more to him than “lab rats.”
This last remark was said with such contempt that I actually wished he had simply said he’d been looking to get laid. When I told him I hadn’t realized he hated women so much he told me “But I don’t feel that way about you” – i.e. I do feel that way about others.

Right after that I began to catch him in other lies. It all came to a head shortly after that when he called me up to rave about some new girl at his work like I was his drinking buddy instead of his fiancée. I was in tears, he was cold and promised he’d discuss this all later and that was the last I ever heard from him. I refused to pick up the phone and ever get sucked back into his games. I’d had enough.

He has since tried to call me three times but won’t leave a message. I finally got fed up and called him back when I knew he was at work and couldn’t answer his phone to tell him that I was no longer interested and he shouldn’t call me ever again: so far so good.

On a lighter note I found out recently from a mutual friend that the ex has been frantically trying to find a replacement for me since we broke up and is constantly being stood up, shot down and avoided by any woman he takes an interest in. This friend also sent me the ex’s Craigslist ad where he wrote a really bad poem full of typographical errors and attached a picture of himself in a tacky tuxedo that makes him look so dorky I just laughed and wondered why I’d ever been captivated by this loser.

Slime-O-Meter

5.00 out of 5 slimes

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