I am America's Senior Comedian (R).

Feed Me!

These photos are of His Benevolence, Christopher King, Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. They are suitable for framing and display in public buildings, over your desk, on coins, etc.

The stage photos, the rubble series, the beer series, and the holding-eyeglasses series are courtesy of Gregg Matthews, Orlando. All others by Chris King.

Clicking the thumbnail will show a 300dpi version.

Generally, the staged photos were taken in the olden days, around 2004. I have not aged at all, so you may regard these to be an accurate representation of what my big fat pot belly does not look like.

When the Government Man decides to stab his fat, dirty fingers at things and initiate non-linearity, you may use these in your newspaper or on your TV show if you like.

03/31/2010

Oh. Did the British government retire itself into Idiot Land, too?

LONDON (AFP) â€“ A British grandmother was heavily fined and
electronically tagged for selling a goldfish to a child, triggering
criticism Wednesday of over-zealous use of animal protection laws.

Pet
shop owner Joan Higgins, 66, was fined 1,000 pounds (1,500 dollars,
1,120 euros) also given a dusk-to-dawn curfew for selling an animal to
a person under the age of 16, but her 47-year-old son Mark -- also
ordered to do community service -- slammed the ruling as a farce.

The
pair were prosecuted after the local council sent a 14-year-old boy to
buy a goldfish in a "sting" operation following reports that their
shop, Majors Pets, had sold a gerbil to a teenager with learning
difficulties.

The shopkeepers sold the fish without asking his age or how the fish would be cared for, prosecutors said.

You can read through history and use a yellow highlighter pen and chart precisely when governments officially announce that it's okay to ignore them.

I'm pretty sure this qualifies. It's kind of like mandating that the citizenry hop on one foot. Or maybe it's like flying planes into the World Trade Center.

It's fun watching governments honestly have no idea that they don't even exist anymore. It's like cocking your head and watching in disbelief as a toothless crone grandly descends the staircase as if she's the belle of the debutante ball.

If you are reading this, you are morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket to my show, which is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian. Tickets are $100 per person, per year. Click to buy your ticket. If you truly don't have the money, you get in for free; otherwise no exceptions to this rule. Thanks, Chris.