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My attitude is worse than NWA&#39;s was
I&#39;ll battle you over stupid shit and diss people
Who ain&#39;t have shit to do with it, like Cool J does (My tattoo!)
You see me standin outside of your buildin; screamin,
Puffy is good, (HEY!) but Slim Shady is for the children! (WAIT!)
I look at my life in a new light -- fuck it
Give me two mics; I write songs for me -- fuck what you like
You&#39;re probably hear me rap half-hearted; cause I don&#39;t like rap anyway
I&#39;m just tryin to get my porno career started
Every place and event.. +Been There, Done That+
Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went
(* zipper sound *) Come on, let&#39;s go!
Want a deal? Study these 5 chapters
Lesson One: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers
Lesson Two: Face em and diss em (whattup dog?)
Don&#39;t give em a demo; kidnap em (I want you to come with me)
And make em come to your basement and listen
(you&#39;re gonna fuckin check this out)
Lesson Three: Get a job at a label; switch demos with Canibus
And put yours on the owner&#39;s table (here listen!)
Lesson Four: &#39;Know you heard this before&#39;
Hey let me get your number; I&#39;ll call you tomorrow, for sure!
Don&#39;t act like a fan -- you wanna get signed?
Get the whitest A&amp;amp;R you can find
Pull him aside and rap as wack as you can
Lesson Five: Get a hook-up at Jive
Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live
And that&#39;s the key, but when you see me on the street; I ain&#39;t
Givin you shit bitch - don&#39;t even bother askin me (get away from me)
Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I&#39;m spittin
Cause I&#39;m always shittin when I&#39;m rappin like Master P (UNNNGGGGH!)
Got a blowjob from Paula Jones, and stuffed it so far in her mouth
My balls broke both of her collarbones (OWW!)
Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah (It&#39;s all about me..)
Gave Alyssa Milano syphillis, mono and gonorrhea (You&#39;re a dick!)
And all three of my main girls said SEE-YA
Cause Brandy and Monica walked in and caught me fuckin Aaliyah
(What? Oh my God!) I splish splash while I&#39;m takin a bath
Grab a handful of pills, break em in half, take em and laugh
White trash -- fuckin your wife in the ass (Oh! Ooh Shady! Oooh!)
While you&#39;re out siphoning gas for your lawnmower to cut the grass

So if I hurt your self-esteem
And you get dissed too bad [Yo why you diss me?]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had [A big dick!]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
I can&#39;t listen to that song, that shit&#39;s too sad!
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad
He&#39;ll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad! [Nurse! Nurse!]
You know I just be sayin that to get you mad

What a wonderful day; I should go outside and play
Ain&#39;t no need to sit inside the house and hibernate
Hi Renee! (Oh hi!) I was just about to toss a live grenade
In your driveway (WHAT?) and drive away (* car peels out *)
Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS
Blood drippin from it, rippin your stomach like a paper mache
You talk a lotta shit, but you was never ill though
I&#39;m sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh (MOOOOO!)
Jumped up, choked a giraffe, snapped his neck and broke it in half
Wagin wars, went on stage and sprayed Cage with +Agent Orange+
And wiped my ass with his page in Source (Here!)
The demon is here, steamin this year
I rip [*Mystikal&#39;s*] voicebox out, scream in his ear (AHHHHHH!)
It&#39;s not a gimmick bitch, it&#39;s an image I live it
Give a fuck? I