A Visitor’s Guide to India

A Visitor’s Guide to India

Last weekend in Khirki Village, Delhi, a late-night mob led by the Aam Admi Party (AAP) leader and Delhi Law Minister Somnath Bharti went looking for “some Nigerians or Ugandans.” They pulled four young African women out of their home, held them captive in a taxi for hours, probed their “private parts”, forced them to urinate publicly, hustled them to a hospital against their will for “tests”, and reluctantly let them go the next morning.

In lieu of an apology, the AAP and the Delhi Government have dug their heels in. Their bizarre “evidence” appears to hinge on four grainy videos, one of which was charmingly titled “Naked in front of police” where a shirtless man—African, of course—is fighting off the police. That video has since been retitled. In the days since the late-night “raid” both Somnath Bharti and his party have been near–universallyslammed in Indianmedia, and by civil society, for their racism, sexism, and unconscionable egging on of hysterical middle-class vigilantism. Some of the media criticism coming their way is being opportunistically lobbed by rival political parties—from left, right and centre—who are threatened by the AAP’s dramatic rise. The AAP has used this to their advantage, but it neither negates the reprehensible actions of the party that night in Khirki, nor excuses its frighteningly unrepentant stand in the days that followed.

In the light of this event, and given black peoples’ fondness for suspicious activities like studying, working, breathing, etc., many foreigners wish to know if India is worth visiting. This is an inclusive website, so here is a handy guide for potential travellers of all races.

You might seriously want to consider the repercussions of watching movies while black in India. (The upside to representing the nadir of our ancient civilisation? If there’s anyone who can set a desperate drug-addicted model’s career back on track, it’s you.)

That’s all folks! But take heart. Exactly one year ago, our renowned Indian hospitality was warmly extended towards four ordinary visitors from the African continent. Thousands jostled to see them, dignitaries queued up to get a glimpse, the media went crazy, and it was no wonder. These continental guests were the very model of good manners—cool, calm, and unflappable, impeccably poised and immaculately polished. Surely there’s a lesson in here for the modern African traveller? Indeed. With a little advance planning, despite being black, you too can have a nice time in India—just as long as you’ve made the effort to be dead for 3000 years.

A version of this piece first appeared in Mint Lounge on January 24th.