Tuesday, July 12, 2005

May I have a double super secret background please? With sprinkles?

They've given you a number, and taken away your name. According to Newsweek, Matt Cooper's e-mail to Time Washington bureau chief Michael Duffy said, "Spoke to Rove on double super secret background for about two mins before he went on vacation.”

Double Super Secret Background? It’s like something two third grade boys would swear to: “This is Double Super Secret Background, and if you talk, you get a noogie.”

Did lawyers could up with this category of anonymity? How are the layers of secrecy determined? I know that reporters quote people “on background,” and “deep background.” An interne, I assume, would be assigned “background,” and an assistant to the under-assistant secretary of whatever would get “deep background.” When did this other level pop up?

On the top level, the Karl Rove level, there's “double super secret background,” but who gets the in-betweens? I am inferring that there must be such levels as “secret background,” and “super secret background.” Who gets those? Condoleeza Rice? The Homeland Security guy? Dick Cheney must be pissed. He’s probably demanding Triple Super Secret Background, even though he has no intention of talking to the press, ever.

And what about President Bush himself? Should he ever want to drop a little bombshell to a reporter, would it be under Quadruple Super Duper Secret Background? And God Himself, should He ever decide to speak to us once again from a burning bush, would it be under Super Secret Background Yea Unto Infinity?

1 Comments:

Reminds me of the scene in "Animal House" in which the Dean wants to put the Delta house on probation, is reminded that they are already on probation, and angrily announces that "...as of this moment, they're on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION!"