Tag Archives: Self Compassion

According to Peter Levine, an expert on the adverse effects of childhood trauma on our adult lives and the complex post traumatic stress disorder that can result, typically there develops various signs in victims that may indicate the recovery process is underway. The main signs of recovery that Levine identifies are as follows :

1) A REDUCTION IN THE NUMBER, AND INTENSITY, OF EMOTIONAL FLASHBACKS THAT WE EXPERIENCE (an emotional flashback is when an event occurs in our lives that triggers similar painful emotions to those we experienced as a child in relation to our traumatic experiences – such flashbacks may result in regressive behaviour such as extreme, uncontrollable, childlike tantrums. For example, if we had a cold and rejecting father who was always denigrating us, we may over-react when we are criticized by our boss at work).

3) WE BECOME LESS ‘CATASTROPHIZING’ (many who suffer childhood trauma develop into adults prone to extremes of negative thinking, often referred to as ‘cognitive processing errors.’ One such cognitive processing error is that we may be prone to ‘catastrophizing’ which means we tend to always expect the worst and to interpret situations in their worst possible light. Often, too, we attribute the worst possible intentions and motivations to the behaviour of others. As we begin to recover, this tendency diminishes).

4) WE START TO FIND IT EASIER TO RELAX (one of the worst aspects of my illness was a perpetual, tormenting feeling of the most intense agitation making anything even vaguely approaching relaxation utterly impossible, every medication was tried – and failed; even electro-convulsive shock therapy (ECT) was tried on several different occasions over the years – again, utter failure. When we finally do start to recover, however, the ability to relax gradually returns).

5) WE BECOME LESS DEPENDENT UPON OUR LEARNED DEFENSE MECHANISMS (it is very common for those of us who have experienced childhood trauma to develop into adults who feel very vulnerable to being hurt or exploited by others if we ourselves were hurt and exploited by our parent/s or primary-carer/s during our early lives. In order to protect ourselves, we may have unconsciously learned to develop certain defense mechanisms such as aggression or avoidance. As we recover, however, we find we become less reliant on these psychological defenses, according to Levine.

6) OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS START TO IMPROVE AND WE BECOME LESS INTIMIDATED BY SOCIAL SITUATIONS (another common outcome of significant childhood trauma is that we can find, in adulthood, that we are quite inept when it comes to forming and maintaining relationships with others. We may, too, find social situations very intimidating, and, even, develop social phobia. A sign of recovery, however, is an easing of such interpersonal difficulties).

FOUR MAIN STEPS ALONG THE ROAD TO RECOVERY :

Levine states that the main steps to recovery are as follows :

1) PSYCHOEDUCATION

2) REDUCING SELF-CRITICISM

3) GRIEVING FOR OUR CHILDHOOD LOSSES

4) ADDRESSING ‘ABANDONMENT DEPRESSION’

Let’s look at each of these in turn :

1) The first step of recovery from complex PTSD, according to Levine, is psycheducation (which is sometimes referred to as ‘bibliotherapy‘. This involves learning about our psychological condition and becoming aware of how it is linked to our adverse childhood experiences. Levine also emphasizes the usefulness of learning aboutmindfulness).

3) The third step of recovery from complex PTSD, says Levine, is to grieve for our childhood losses. These losses may include our missing out on feelings of safety, security, simple childhood happiness and a care-free state of mind as well as a loss of any self-esteem we may have once had. To read my article about coming to terms with childhood losses, click here). Levine suggests that this process may take up to two years.

4) The final step of recovery from complex PTSD is to address what Levine calls the core issue, namely our ‘abandonment depression.’ An important part of this step is also to learn how to be self-compassionate. (To read my article about abandonment issues which may we may develop as a result of childhood trauma, click here).

Therapy which emphasizes self-compassion (as well as compassion for others), not inappropriately called COMPASSIOIN FOCUSED THERAPY (CFT), has become increasingly utilized for the treatment of the effects of childhood trauma over the last decade or so. It is based on 3 main components :

– being kind to oneself (with positive internal ‘self-talk’, for example) and non-self-critical

– being open about own suffering and communicating it without feelings of shame or weakness

CFT is a particularly useful and effective therapy for those of us who tend to be ashamed of our internal emotional state, prone to severe self-criticism and come from an abusive and neglectful background (ie suffered such an environment during our childhood).

CFT motivates and helps individuals to develop a compassionate self-view as well as a compassionate view of others. Research suggests that many of us who suffered disturbed childhoods are fearful of giving compassion to ourselves or receiving it from others.

Neuroscience (the scientific study of the brain) has shown that giving oneself compassion or being self-critical (ie where the compassion or criticism is INTERNALLY GENERATED) has very similar biochemical effects upon the brain as would be generated by EXTERNAL STIMULI (ie others showing us compassion or criticizing us). For more about this very interesting area of research it is well worth reading the study on EMPATHY AND MIRROR NEURONS by Decety and Jackson (2004).

– A study carried out by Lutz et al (2008) demonstrated that showing compassion towards others led to beneficial changes in the PREFRONTAL CORTEX (a specific brain region) and a much increased sense of personal well-being.

– A study by Gilbert and Proctor (2006) focused on individuals with long-term mental health problems and found that COMPASSION TRAINING significantly reduced their feelings of shame, depression and anxiety; it also greatly reduced their previously pronounced tendency towards self-criticism.