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Monday, September 5, 2011

The Waiting Room

I can remember being on the outside looking in. Leaning against the glass separating me between faith, the substance of things hoped for, and the manifestation of that faith.

The miracle.

I've had my face pressed against the waiting room side of faith for most of my life.

Pressed hard against those places called hope and patience and good things come to those who wait.

The waiting room.

God's personal holding pattern.

His promises are "Yes and Amen." But His answers are sometimes "I have a different plan" or in the case of my own personal testimony in many different areas.

"Wait."

I have memories of waiting and believing. Waiting and praising Him in the midst. Waiting only to end up with closed doors. Waiting for my turn to finally come only to be blindsighted with another trauma. Another heartache.

Waiting and crying myself to sleep because the two most beautiful pink lines in the entire world didn't appear on my stick. Years of that type of waiting. That sacrificial waiting . Holy waiting. Waiting with a praise in my heart for everybody else's baby that was born. For every birth announcement in the mail. For every beautiful, glowing expectant mother I saw over and over again.

There isn't anything more beautiful than a woman who is expecting.

Except for the day when what she was expecting has been made manifest and is finally in her arms.

The miracle.

And by His grace I have six of my own.

Grateful me....

I remember waiting for my husband to propose. And thinking that if he didn't I was absolutely going to die and somebody would have to bury me and my entire collection of little girl dreams and Martha Stewart magazines along with me.

I'm southern for heavens' sake.

And southern girls dream about their wedding day and talk about their wedding day and plan on their wedding day from the time they are old enough to twirl.

And I might as well have been born carrying a bouquet.

Last year on May 20 I celebrated ten years of marriage with my husband. For our anniversary all I wanted was to see the babies.

Not your average ten year anniversary gift but that is what my heart wanted...

I needed to stand next to someone else's miracle.

Because last May 20 I was believing God for a few things in my own life. A whole list of them actually.

And when you are believing God for a miracle in your own life there isn't anything that will jumpstart your faith quicker than standing next to somebody else's.

And I happen to personally believe that the greatest miracle on earth is the gift that is a newborn baby.

He drove me downtown to the hospital and walked me straight up to the waiting room of the maternity floor and stood back and waited for me.

There were some deep breaths and tears fell and I whispered to Him the desires of my heart.

Any woman who has ever been "expectant" knows a thing or two about waiting.

But the delivery.... The bringing forth of that which was promised to you. The birthing of that which was once a prayer request, a heart cry, a dream within the deep places. It makes all the waiting worth while.

Maybe your " delivery" is graduation day or adoption day. Maybe it is the contract on the sale of your home or the acceptance of your offer on one. Maybe it is the first day on the job of your dreams. Or the
wedding day you've waited a lifetime for..

You will deliver sweet friend.

It's going to happen.

You may be safe and sound in His holding pattern right now.

Pacing back and forth in the waiting room. But it is going to happen. You are going to deliver. One day at the appointed time, you will walk across the stage and receive your diploma. You will walk down the aisle and have a partner in this life. You will have the job you have dreamed about. You will have your song published and your book published and your screen play published. You will fulfill the call that is on your life. You will go on that missionary trip and love those children who have no hope. You will learn to trust again. Love again. Hope again. Dream again. Begin again. Start over again.......

Don't depise the waiting room.

My prayer for you today, on this Labor day is that the hope which is within you. That which you've discounted, pushed aside or allowed to die. That today, maybe you would allow God to do a beautiful work in you this morning. That those special things, dreams and ideas would be stirred up again and would begin to grow and that at the appointed time.....you would deliver.

" Each young woman's turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus AFTER she had completed twelve months' preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women." Esther ~ 2:12

Wow....as I read this I just remembered that 2 weeks ago I had a dream I was pregnant and about to deliver. Reading this today put it into perspective for me. Once again...spiritual mother thank you so very much for bringing enlightenment to me! I feel uplifted and recharged because of you! Love u so much! Melanie

Beauty Preparations............Love those words. I am enjoying my beauty preparations for the first time ever....basking in them....relaxing in them..letting Him control the nexts and the whens and the hows, they are not mine to manipulate. I can only praise for the time of preparation, praise for the chance to rest before the flurry of delivery, praise for the dreams that could only come from Him, praise for the the freedom to dream again, praise for the giddiness that comes from knowing I have friends waiting with me...for me, praise that healing is real, praise that restoration is happening, praise that I am adorded and choosen, praise because I am known.

I've never written before, but I cannot tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. The way you write, encourage, inspire... It is beyond beautiful! Your heartfelt thoughts are always so touching, they typically bring a smile or a tear to my face. And for that, I thank you! :)