"As she sits drinking lavender lemonade,*" Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair that everyone—including, and especially, other ladies in Hollywood—needs to shut the fuck up about how many penises are/may be in orbit around her:

"If you want some big revelation, since 2010 I've dated exactly two people. [...] For a female to write about her feelings, and then be portrayed as some clingy, insane, desperate girlfriend in need of making you marry her and have kids with her, I think that's taking something that potentially should be celebrated-a woman writing about her feelings in a confessional way-that's taking it and turning it and twisting it into something that is frankly a little sexist."

Swift, who covers the April issue of VF, adds that after so-called "Mean Girl" incidents—most recently, she says, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler mocking her love life at the Golden Globe—she recalls a quote Katie Couric ("one of [Swift's] favorite people") gave her: "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Oof.

Although T-Swizzle wouldn't speak on her exes, she authorized a source to do so. "[Harry] was all, like, ‘You're amazing – I want to be with you. I want to do this.'" Then a friend sent Swift a picture of Styles and some girl "making out like with their hands all up in each other's hair," and that was The Day The Trust Died. Riveting stuff. [Hollywood Life]

Dennis Rodman was thrown out of a hotel bar in Midtown right after visiting Kim Jong Un with other Harlem Globetrotters for an HBO/Vice special. "He kept saying what a nice guy Kim is, and how Kim just wants to talk to President Obama about basketball. He was waving around a signed copy of the dictator's huge manifesto, telling everyone they should read it." You know, if you guys were wondering what Dennis Rodman was up to these days. [Page Six]

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux will be married in Hawaii in a few weeks, but she does not want to do it in his old fuck den:

"Jen would have liked to have done it at home in Los Angeles but it looks like that would be too difficult to keep quiet," a source told The Sun.

"She doesn't want to get married with photographers buzzing around her head in helicopters."

"Justin just adores Hawaii. It's his favourite place in the world and he has a little house on the island of Kauai," the source added.

"His cottage is too small to host the wedding and Jen thinks it has too many memories of his old flames anyway. But they both love the island and the idea of a laid back Hawaii wedding in the sunshine."

The hip-ass couple comprised of Knocked Up'sJay Baruchel and The Newsroom'sAlison Pill are no more. The two, who have been engaged since 2010, had plans to marry in Quebec in September. Judging by some Tweets that Baruchel has since deleted, it seems not-so-mutual.

The This Is the End actor hinted about their split on Twitter Feb. 16. "Alone again, naturally. Heartbroken," he wrote in a message that he later deleted. "I won't be on twitter for awhile gang. Getting dumped rules."

Brody Jenner, privileged Los Angeles gadabout and one-time cast member of The Hills, has heard the cries of the people. "We want your greasy smirkface back on reality television!" they cried. At last, he has acquiesced and will be appearing on new episodes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. His reps say that he "is joining the show but may not be in every episode. It depends on the storyline." Jenner has been "chilling" and "trying to figure out what to do with his life" since splitting from Avril Lavigne over a year ago. [Us Weekly]

One Directioner Harry Styles has requested military security because he doesn't want to get hit in the nuts with another shoe onstage. [Capital FM]

Prince Charles does his version of gushing about becoming a granddad: "It's a lovely thought and I look forward enormously to that relationship." Well, don't get all SLOPPY about it, Chuckles. [The Mirror UK]

A former model from the 1960s is suing Mad Men producers for using an image of her in the opening credits without consent. [NYDN]

Justin Bieber got a Batman-themed motorbike for his beeday. And yes, we are still discussing Justin Bieber's beeday. [Indian Express]