Pigs are the most maligned of all animals on Earth. Their very name is an insult, they wallow in filth and more than on major world religion forbids eating them at all. Not a lot of animals get damned by God. And speaking of religion, Scientology is one of the world’s most maligned religions, assuming you live in a country that considers it a religion and not a cult. But which is more worthy of your attention? Are pigs better than Scientology? Does comparing these two things even make sense? Stop asking foolish questions and put on your reading pants! It’s on!

Pigs come out of the gate running with 5 delicious pros. What does Scientology counter with? Irony. It’s not looking good for the Church.

On the cons side we have to deal with pig stank and the terror of tusks. Did you know a wild boar can cut you down to the bone with its tusks? And do you really want to see another “zany” new food infused with bacon? Hell no. But Scientology makes a strong showing with, you know, the exact same stuff again. Plus how they may be evil.

At the end of the day, pigs are generally not sinister and sausage is delicious. Have you ever had a pulled pork sandwich? Like a really good one? Oh my God, eat shit Days of Thunder. Pigs win!