In Week 1 of the preseason, Chad Johnson was arrested on domestic violence charges. After Monday night's win, Michael Turner was collared for DUI. That's two in a little over a month, and a reasonable person could look at that and say, "boy, NFL players get arrested a lot." Except: the span between those two arrests was the longest the league has gone without an arrest in more than five years.

(PFT's police blotter is a toned-down version of the former "Turd Watch," which disappeared when the site went corporate, returned by popular demand, and quietly died again. The Turd Watch actually kept score, awarding points for felony arrests, misdemeanor arrests, and convictions, and led to annual year-end standings. That made it the pro version of the Fulmer Cup, and it's a damn shame no one's revived the system.)

Florio swears that if the counter ever reaches 100, he'll take down the whole thing. Which is never going to happen unless aliens invade and all of humanity bands together in an unprecedented time of harmony and unity, and even then Nick Fairley would probably get busted in Alabama.