Penn Pals

4.07.2015

2 months vs. 9 months Up until a few days ago i've been pretty patient waiting on this little guy. I was still feeling pretty normal and comfortable and honestly was just happy to have him healthy inside my belly. now that he has started to settle into position and has become rather large i'm finding myself very ready for him to make his appearance. now that we have officially hit our last week i am trying to mentally prepare myself for the fact that he could literally come at any time. for the first and second trimesters i was just focused on getting to the next week, or the next appointment and making sure he was healthy and growing. i actually had a lot of anxiety in the beginning about something bad happening. but now i'm in the phase of "is it going to be today?" "will it be tomorrow?" "will i be 10 dyas overdue?!" literally ever time i do something i think "is this the last time i will do this pregnant?" im constantly worried about keeping the house clean, having the laundry done, having clean dishes, and just having everything in order "just in case" something were to happen. up until this point i havent really experienced many contractions or pain, so i don't really know if that means he's not coming for a while or if one day a switch will flip and ill just be in full blown painful contraction hell. everyone tells me that once i'm in labor and having "real" contractions i will know.... and that kind of scares me!

honestly the last few weeks i've been seriously stressed about labor. not knowing what to expect in terms or pain and just the whole process overall. throughout my life i have only been admitted to the hospital once maybe twice and it wasn't for anything serious. i've always hated going to the doctor and going to the hospital makes my skin crawl, even if its just to visit someone else (maybe its the weird smell)... ahh makes me nervous just thinking about it- dont even get me started on needles!! soo the fact that i already know i'm going to be in a lot of pain and i'm going to have to go to the hospital, voluntarily, kinda just stresses/freaks me out. i just have this fear that i'll go into labor and i'm going to start freaking out, crying, blah blah blah!! i'm such a baby! im really hoping that the worst case scenario wont happen and by some miracle i will be calm, cool and collected. i pray everyday for an easy, smooth, uneventful NORMAL labor.

another factor that makes all this stressful is that people just looove to tell you about a friend or cousin or sister who had this horrible labor yada yada yada, and its like um helllo... why are you telling me this? as if im not already freaked out enough! i just keeping trying to tell myself that no two labor experiences are the same. i know that know matter what anyone tells me, i cant really prepare myself because what someone else went through wont be what i will go through. i also know that women have been giving birth since the beginning of time soooo i guess this is kind of what my body was made to do, so everything will be fine. AND despite my hatred for hospitals i am grateful for modern medicine and doctors that i know will do whatever they can to keep me and my baby healthy and safe.

much like the first few weeks of pregnancy, i have been experiencing a very wide array of emotions. i've cried more in the last week than i have my whole pregnancy, about a variety of many things. i find myself questioning my abilities as a mom and nervous i wont be a "good" one. sometimes asking myself "what did we get ourselves into?! we are juts kids ourselves!!" literally everyone asks me if i'm ready and if i feel prepared and usually my answer is "i think so.... but i don't know".. because i really don't. i have looked at lists about all the stuff you "have to have" and I've talked to friends and family about things i need, but i don't honestly think anyone can ever be fully prepared for this type of life change. even if i was to buy every single baby gadget at buy buy baby i still wouldn't be 100% prepared because I've never have MY OWN BABY!!! this is a completely new and unchartered territory for me and i have no idea what it will be like. i think its normal for first time, soon to be moms to wonder if they will be good enough and ask questions like: "will my baby like me?" "will i be filled with all that love everyone describes?" "will i still be a good wife?" "will i be able to breastfeed?" the list goes on and on and ON. no one tells you about this part of pregnancy, no one can get inside your head and help you understand what it will be like. so really all i do all day is envision and create different scenarios in my head about what could or might happen. all i can really do at this point is pray and hope that those god given motherly instincts that everyone talks about are real and that they really will kick in when they need to. writing out all these thoughts and feelings i have been having does kind of help- i tend to make things alot bigger deal in my head, but writing everything down and reading it makes it all seem a little less intense and scary. hopefully the next time i update it will be about our little babe and not about all my overdue pregnancy emotions!

4.02.2015

I never did updates throughout my pregnancy but as this is all coming to an end I wanted to write down a few thoughts that I thought I might want to have to look back on. So heres a few thoughts about the last 9 months with this cute little nugget...

How Far Along: 28 weeks 5 days

Total Weight Gain: About 20

Maternity Clothes: The first trimester and beginning of the
second trimester were a bit awkward in terms of clothes… I didn’t quite feel
comfortable in my regular clothes but maternity clothes seemed too big. At
about 20 weeks I finally invested in a few pairs of maternity jeans and it was
the best decision ever. I love the bellyband! I honestly didn’t buy too many
things… I’ve pretty much rotated through the same pants, leggings, tees and
dresses the entire time. Accessories and cardigans helped me change things up.

Stretch Marks: I fear that writing this before I’ve given
birth will jinx me but… I have yet to get a stretch mark. I’ve been trying
really hard to keep the belly moisturized (with the two lotions I mentioned in
a previous post) and I’ve tried to maintain a steady and slow weight gain.
Unfortunately, there’s still time for some to show up- I’m crossing my fingers
they don’t though!

Sleep: To be honest I feel like I’ve slept better since
being pregnant than I did before! Basically if I lie horizontally, I get tired and
pretty much just pass out. The last week or so I’ve been having to get up a few
times in the night to pee, but other than that I don’t have any troubles.
Sometimes baby boy has a hard time settling down when I’m ready for bed so ill
have to walk around a bit or rock back and forth till he gets comfy. I don’t
use a pregnancy pillow, just a long body pillow.

Best Moment of the Pregnancy so far: Its hard to choose just
one thing because there have been lots of great moments over the last 9 months,
but a few would be: When I stopped being nauseous at about 15-16 weeks, the 20
week ultrasound when we found out we were having a baby boy that was perfect
and healthy, AND feeling all his little kicks and movements whenever Kent talks
to him J
he loves his daddy!

Movement: From the moment I first felt him back at 16 weeks
he hasn’t stopped moving! He’s an active little guy, but I love feeling him
move throughout the day- especially when there is music on or when people talk
to him.

Cravings: I’m not one of those pregnant girls that craved
pickles and ice cream or anything really weird. There was a phase I went
through when potatoes or any kind of always sounded good (mashed, baked, fresh
fries, tater tots, you name it), but other than that there hasn’t really been
one thing that I really craved a lot.

Aversions: Nothing really! I do have a very strong sense of
smell right now so things that smelled good or bad before pregnancy are very
amplified, but there isn’t anything that makes me feel queasy or sick (thank
goodness).

Belly Button status: Its kind of just flat right now.. I
have a very deep belly button so I don’t think it will ever sick out.

Wedding ring: Still on! I’ve been lucky to have not gotten
swollen yet! I’m just glad he will be here before the humid summer arrives!

Mood: I always joke with Kent that he’s lucky because I’m
the most laid back pregnant woman ever because I don’t feel like I’ve had many
crazy outbursts or mood swings. Luckily I’ve managed to stay pretty level
headed and my emotions have stayed normal (with the exception of a few random
days) Hopefully it lasts postpartum…

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks every once in a while (I think).
With this being my first pregnancy I don’t really know what to expect as far as
labor signs. The last few days this little guy feels huge so when he moves he
sometimes will hit a nerve down in my pelvis- which is a little uncomfortable
and I can tell my body is changing and preparing but no real labor yet!
Everyone keeps telling me thatwhen it
starts to happen I “wont miss it”

Biggest Fear: I think it goes without being said but LABOR…
ugh I swear I’ve heard more bad labor stories that I cared to.. and I hope that
the fact that I’ve had a good pregnancy doesn’t mean that I’m going to have a
bad labor- I don’t know what but I feel like there has to be a balance. I’m
really just trying to tell myself not to stress about it- women have been doing
this since the beginning of time so I think that means ill get through it.

Most Excited for: That first skin to skin snuggle…. The last
few months I’ve day-dreamed about what he will look like and what his
temperament will be and I cant wait for that first meeting we have as a family
of three (it almost brings tears to my eyes to think about it).

Overall this pregnancy has been great, if I could just skip
over that first trimester I could honestly say I’ve really loved it! It’s been
so nice to not be in school so that I could just focus on being pregnant and
preparing for him. It weird because everyone always tells you that it will fly
by but you really don’t understand how quickly the time goes until you’re
experiencing it! Being pregnant really makes you think about things
differently, you see things and experience things with a different perspective,
but it’s still hard to know what to expect- everyday is a learning experience.
Being a mom is something I always knew I wanted to be. I have always been excited
about this time in my life, but now that I’m actually experiencing it and I’m
about to become a mom I’m having a hard time realizing that its real! Somedays
I wake up in the morning and feel him kick and I snap back to reality and have
to remember that I really am pregnant.

I think about my life right now and the routine
and schedule that Kent and I have and it’s just weird how much that is all
going to change! We have truly loved our 5 years of kid free life- we’ve had
some fun adventures together and have loved having the alone time. That being
said we are so excited for this BIG change and I know that once our little guy
is here we wont know what we ever did without him!

3.08.2015

If there is one thing I
love it is makeup. I just love going to Sephora or Ulta and just looking around
at all the stuff. Even though I love looking at all the pretty products I’m a
creature of habit and when I find products I love, I will usually just stick
with them until I find something else that I really love more to replace them
with. I have tried tons of different products, both cheap and expensive…
especially foundation. As I’ve said before my skin is so sensitive so
everything makes me breakout! For most of my makeup wearing days I only used
MAC- for everything! But then I finally realized that not all makeup works the
same on everyone. I felt that the makeup I was using was not enhancing my skin
and features, but rather the opposite of that. Since that realization I’ve been
on the hunt for products I can incorporate into my favorite everyday use
routine- especially those that my skin will tolerate.

Some days I love to take my time getting
ready, but normally I just do the same thing and if need be I can get ready in
less than 10 minutes. I think every girl would benefit from having a quick and
simple makeup routine that still makes her feel put together and ready for the
day without spending too much time doing so! With the little nugget on the way
I think it will be even that much more valuable for me to be able to get ready
real quick!

These are my current
favorite products/tools that I use everyday…

1.
Make Up Forever HD Primer: This primer is great for me because I have a lot of
redness in my skin, especially now that I’m super pasty! The green color helps
counteract the uneven skin tone.

2.
Benefit Erase Paste- This is a great concealer! It really does help cover the
dark spots… and for the days your in a hurry just use your ring finger to dap
some under your eyes and your face already looks brighter!

3.
Benefit Hoola Bronzer- This is a great bronzer! Its not too dark for me, it
blends easily, there’s no shimmer and its very pigmented so you don’t have to
use very much!

4.
Anastasia Brow Wiz pencil- I don’t know what else to say except that you need
to buy one of these brow pencils they are truly the best!

5.
It Cosmetics CC+ - this is the most recent foundation ive been using and I
really really like it. Not only does it already have SPF in it, but it smells
great and I love the way it makes my skin look and feel. If you are looking for
heavy coverage this probably isn’t for you but its great for everyday wear,
especially if you have dry skin like me!

6.
Beauty Blender- You guys, the hype on these is real! I love this thing it
really does make all the different with blending. I love using it to blend my
concealer!

7.
NARS kabuki ITA brush- I just recently have been trying to experiment with
highlighting and contouring and this brush makes it super easy! There are lots
of YouTube videos that demonstrate and make it super easy!

8.
NARS Blush- I have been using this color for a while now and I really like the
pinky, coral color. You barely need any to make it show up. All their colors
are great!

9.
Bobby Brown Sparkle Eye shadow (taupe) – This stuff is magical, I know that
sometimes glitter can turn people away but this stuff is great and really not
the glittery! I literally just use my finger tip to rub in all over my lid and
it makes it look like I spent a lot of time and effort on my eyes when really
it took me two seconds!

10.
NYX butter gloss- I have tons of these and I really like them.

Sometimes lipstick is just too much for me
but these give you

just enough color without being too
intense. They are

ridiculously cheap and come in lots of
colors!

Let me know if you try any of these or have any makeup favorites I can add to my list! - kyndal

3.05.2015

I always find
it fun and interesting to for me read about other girl’s experiences and
stories with their pregnancies… I know some people find it weird to read birth
stories and all that, but I find it so fascinating! I love seeing what other
girls are using and buying and what has helped make their experiences better.
When I read about someone’s pregnancy I immediately feel like we are friends because
I know that these experiences are personal and special so it’s a cool thing to
be able to share stories with each other. I also think it’s super important to
write down your own experience- something special that you can go back and read
and feel all those feelings you once had! That being said I found a little
something I wrote back when I was just barely pregnant… about how we found out
and some of the thoughts that I had in the very beginning. I’m so glad I jotted
it down, because I don’t think I would remember some of these details
otherwise. A lot of people have asked me about the details of the pregnancy, so I thought I would share it for anyone else who was wondering :)

The Day I Found Out I was Going to be a Mom

I had my yearly
women’s checkup with my Doctor in Kansas, Dr. Martin. We had just returned back
from vacation with my family, oddly enough, I was supposed to have my
appointment before the vacation, but the Dr. office called to reschedule the
appointment.Usually my mom comes with
me because I hate those appointments- they always make me feel so awkward! She
had some other things going on so she couldn’t come and Kent was busy doing
something with my brother, Parker, so I just decided I would go by myself. I
checked in like normal but for some reason I felt the need to tell the
receptionist that I still hadn’t started my period yet. (side note: I have had
irregular cycles pretty much as long as I can remember. I had been off birth
control for a year because I hated the way it was making me feel… so my periods
were here and there, but I started having pretty regular periods around may).
So when I told the receptionist she said they would have me take a pee test
just to rule anything out. I honestly didn’t think being pregnant was even an
option, so I wasn’t expecting anything. I felt like I was in that waiting room
foreverrrr! So the nurse finally calls me back and I get on the scale and she
says… “Oh your urine test came back positive” and I just look at her and say “
what does that mean?!” I was seriously so confused haha and she says “Oh umm well
it’s positive, you’re pregnant!” I just started to tear up because I was so in
shock but so excited.. it was so unexpected and I was sad that Kent wasn’t
there with me when I found out! The poor nurse looked a little surprised and
she said, “oh did you not already suspect anything, Is this a bad thing?” and
of course I assured her it was a great thing I was just very surprised. I think
she had assumed that I took an at home test and that I was just having them
confirm it. The timing was just so crazy.. I wasn’t even supposed to have an
appointment that day and I hadn’t even thought that I could be pregnant, but
after finding out I was realizing that I was indeed experiencing some of the
symptoms (lightheaded, crampy, exhausted), but most of those things just come
with having a period so that’s what I assumed was going on.

How I Spilled the News to Kent

I was so
excited to tell Kent, so I hurried home as fast as I could.. I called him and told
him that I needed to run an errand so I was coming to pick him up. I always
thought when I found out I would be all creative and come up with some cute
idea to tell him but I just couldn’t wait, I felt like I was about to explode!
So I picked him up after my appointment and handed him the bag of sample
prenatal vitamins they had given me… he picked up one of the packages and just
stared at it. There was a drawing of a pregnant woman holding her belly on one
of the boxes. I think he was in total shock and then he finally looked over at
me and said “what the crap? are you pregnant?” I started to tear up again and
just nodded my head, and he gave me a big hug … we drove down the street kind
of in silence. I think we were both still soo in shock. It’s such crazy feeling
to process. I had an appointment to go back to the doctor to have my blood
drawn again to make sure that the pregnancy hormones were continuing to
increase- basically to confirm it but it was so hard for us to not already be
excited! We drove around for a little bit.. I kept getting teary eyed and I
think I was still shaking a little bit.

Seeing our Little Babe for the First Time

Kent and I were
supposed to drive back to Philadelphia around the 16th so we could
have a good week to settle in before school started, but Dr Martin, who is
amazing, said that if we could hang around longer we could schedule our first
ultrasound and see the little babe. So we went in August 20th and had
an ultrasound.. it was the coolest thing and im so glad that we stuck around to
have one! baby was sooo tiny and was really just a little dot moving around but
it was the perfect confirmation that this was actually happening.. so after we
got to see the little nugget we got to meet with Dr. Martin- she proscribed me
some Zofran to help with the nausea and gave us a few words of advice and we
were on our way. Still trying to convince ourselves that this was actually
happening!