Monsters? Should have sent for Hoskins & Bean

So how many people did a double take when handed The London Paper on Friday? The headline read GIANT MONSTERS ON TUBE, but it was, alas, just an advert for the latest episode of Primeval. Anyone try and fool a gullible/drunk friend with tales of giant spiders on the underground?

We have to admit that Primeval is a guilty pleasure. It's craptacular, but in a fun way. You never got anything as good as this line with those idiots running around in Wales:

There can't be that many different types of venomous predator under the Aldwych

You should see the last tube home on a Friday night

We tried to have an intelligent conversation this morning about the merits of the show, but everyone we spoke to could only mumble something about "pink undies" over and over again. We can't defend it. Still, giant spiders, a woefully animated killer centipede and terrible Buffy references - pretty good going for a Saturday night on ITV.

And from monsters to that other scourge on the capital; kids.

Worried about the rising tide of yob culture? The solution is Sean Bean and Bob Hoskins; Outlaw.

Meanwhile Stateside (or torrentside) Lost returned to London to feature a busking Charlie, some actual real footage of the city and then some as-bad-as-ever backlot interpretations of London streets featuring a bobby, a red bus, a black cab and a telephone box in every single shot. At least laughing at how crystal clear the Thames was distracted us from just what a load of old bollocks the show is.