This ultra conservative radio talk show host is the arch nemesis of anyone with a single liberal or even middle of the road thought in their head. She has a strong following among both Christians and Jews who want to know how to solve their “moral dilemmas.” Although our Dr. Laura Voodoo Dolls do not come with any voice or audio feature, many customers claim they can’t get them to shut up.

I Could Go Scoop The Poop Out Of My Cat’s Litterbox, Set Up A Web-Site Claiming It Is “Mystic Voodoo Cat Poo…”

Or Mention That, If You Look Closely, You Can See The Image Of Jesus Christ Herself On Each Individual Cat Turd, And You Know What? Some Moron With More Cash Than Brain Matter Would Be Willing To Buy It…

Each Doll Comes With A Set Of Black Pins, And A Set Of White Pins — I’m Told That Sticking White Needles In The Doll Will Bring “Good Fortune” To The Target, And Black Pins Will Bring Pain, Hair Loss And, Well The *Opposite* Of “Good Fortune…” Fortunately, These People Are Definitely On The Moral “Up-And-Up,” Though, As All Dolls Portraying Terrorists Only Come With *BLACK* Pins…

Sweet Lord Almighty, That’s a Relief…

The Pinhead Site Has Been Around Since circa 2004; However, It Obviously Hasn’t Been Updated In Years, So I Have No Idea If They Are Still Producing/Selling These Dolls… Regardless, I Have To Tip My Hat In Respect To This Small All-American Company, As They Are/Were Providing Jobs Within Their Community, And I Admire Both Their Enterprise And Sense Of Humour (Both Qualities That Are, Sadly, In Short Supply These Days)…

Besides, Anyone Who Can Produce & Market Cotton Socks, Stuffed With “Poly-fill,” Paint A Face On Them & Sell Them At Roughly $10 A Pop — ALL IN THE NAME OF VOODOO!!! — Is Doing *Something* Right…

Go Capitalism!

-=Aleks=-

_____________________________________________

And Now (Because I Appreciate A Sense Of Humour) — A Short Treatise On The Dark Arts…

We must warn you, reading any further may result in unanticipated consequences. Voodoo is the most powerful of all the Dark Arts… Its mysterious and ancient methods of casting spells and hexes remain unexplained to this day…

Look, we’re going to be perfectly honest with you. What do a girl from the Bronx and a guy from Boston know about voodoo? Only what we’ve read. If you want to know about casting spells and chanting, we’ve compiled this page of incantations and legends for your viewing or voodooing pleasure…

We can tell you this… Pinhead Voodoo Dolls range in height between 6″ and 10.” They are made of 100% cotton fabric and are stuffed with hypo-allergenic poly-fill. Our voodoo dolls come with six color-coded pins: 3 black-headed, to wish bad luck or evil spirits on the subject; 3 white-headed pins for good luck or great fortune; and as a bonus we’re including spells for red-headed pins for love and romance; as well as spells for green-headed pins for wealth or money.

On the subject of what else you can do to your dolls… punching, kicking, stepping-on and squashing are also viable options. Better make sure all pins are removed and safely stowed away before physically attacking your doll. If you’ve made the smart fashion choice and purchased shirts or hats emblazoned with our same sharp artwork– Do NOT use pins on the image while you’re wearing the shirt or hat. We assure you that the pins we supply, or most other pins, will easily pierce your skin, as well as other things attached to you or your body. We encourage using bulldog clips, clothes pins and similar items to inflict headaches. If you want to psychologically torture your dolls, we suggest putting them in the freezer* Never use fire to torture a doll. For one thing, they’ll burn up and you’ll lose your doll; for another, it’s not safe. You can stop feeding them for weeks at a time. Put them out in the sun without suntan lotion. You can place them right in front of the speakers to your stereo system and blast music from annoying artists; or better yet, put them on the couch in front of your television before you leave for work and then turn on C-SPAN and crank it up!

Spell Name

Used For

Instructions

P-3 (P cubed)

Inflicting Pelvic and Prostate Problems

Lay your doll face up on the ground. Put on a red, stilletto pump. Grind target region with heel.

4Ms

Money, Misery, Misfortune and Malfunctions

This will require all your black pins, a green pin, a purple pin and an orange pin. Alternate sticking black and colored pins around the neck of your doll. (like a spiked collar)

ABCs

Aches, Breaks and Catastrophes

Bend your doll in half, then use a bulldog clip to clamp it head to foot.Scream “Eenie, meenie, minie mo…

Taxes

Tax Problems

Wrap a copy of the “1040EZ” around your doll and chant “That new Rolex, you shouldn’t have bought it, now you’re gonna have an audit.

BHD

Bad Hair Day

Shout “I summon the spirit of Nick Nolte… Look in the mirror if you dare. For the rest of the month you’ll have bad hair. Stick all pins (good and bad) into the head of your doll.

The “Dole”

Causes your subject to fall off a stage in public

While continuously knocking your doll off a coffee table, repeat very softly “Viagra shmiagra, what goes up, must come down.

The “B-41”

Will cause your subject to vomit on a world leader

Create a Broccolli Triangle. Place your Pinhead Voodoo Doll in the center. Chant “Ichi, nee, son she; throw up now, just not on me.

The “B-43”

Will cause your subject to choke on a pretzel

(Depending on your location, you may have to improvise the first part of this) Go to the (mall, street vendor or state fair) and get one of those giant soft pretzels. Squeeze your doll’s head through the largest (but snug) opening

The “Gerry F.”

Causes your subject to become clumsy or accident-prone

Place your doll on top of a golf tee. Take out your “1” driver and have at it. Yell at the top of your lungs “Pardon this!”

The “J. Edgar”

Your subject will be uncovered by the media as a cross dresser

Depending on the doll you have, get out either an old set of Barbie or G.I. Joe clothes and dress them inappropriately For male dolls, use a combination of pink and black pins. For female dolls, use a combination of blue and black pins. Click your heels together three times and repeat “Come out, come out, whoever you are.”

1992 B.C.

Will cause your subject to emerge from obscurity to win a presidential election

You need to dress up as an Arkansas State Trooper. Then take your doll out to some of the local night spots and set it up on “dates” with anyone of the opposite sex.

The Tricky Dick

Will cause your subject to become embroiled in an enormous scandal and resign from office

Locate the tapes which your dolls has been secretly making of its conversations the other dolls in your collection. Take the most damning tape and duct tape it to your doll. Then dress it up as a plumber and mail it to the largest local newspaper.

The J.F.K.

Will create an aura of power and fame around your subject, allowing them to bed any celebrity they would like

Surround your doll with bootleg alcohol and money made when trading on insider information. Light a candle and repeat “Dynasty” 10 times.

The Chicken of Islam

Will cause your subject to go unshaven, unbathed, and unkept for a period of 6 months after which he will crawl into a hole and live like a rat, then surrender to overwhelming and superior forces

You’ll need a George Bush doll for this one. Bury your doll neck deep in dirt, then use your George Bush doll to repeatedly pelt your doll on and about the face and head. Yell “Shock and Awe” 100 times.

The R-2 (R-squared)

Will cause your subject to shrink to a mere 4 foot-6 inch stature.

Remove all pins. Place your Pinhead Voodoo Doll on a solid surface. Raise a heavy book high above your head and with this incantation “In the name of the godfather, Sunday off and Jimmy Hoffa and all those who are unionized, I shrink thee” smash the book down on the doll.

Do Not Pass Go

Sends your subject straight to jail, with no possibility of parole and no time off for good behavior.

Take a dollar bill,wrap it around your Pinhead Voodoo Doll and fasten it with black pins. Then with 4 sharp thrusts of your green pin, shout out the following names, “Enron, Global Crossing, Tyko, WorldCom.”

The Moral Dilemma

Causes your subject to repeatedly telephone a national talkshow host and predictably get berated.

Take photos of your doll in the nude (the doll, not you) publish them on the internet, then jab it with every pin you have and repeat “Go take on the day” 1,000 times.

War for Oil

Causes your subject to uncontrollably plan and prosecute skirmishes, battles and wars around the globe.

Place your doll on the dash board of your car and drive around with it all day chanting “Oil and gas, it’s not funny, now let’s go to war so I can make some money… Halliburton, Halliburton, Rah, Rah, Rah!”

While I disagree with Mr. Sennitt on most all points, his article struck a chord with me as I took a little trip down memory lane. Yes, we were quite naive in many ways and there are many actions and mistakes one can criticize; however, I strongly disagree that Chaos Magic is dead. In fact, I would state quite the contrary, and that Sennitt’s words (penned nearly two decades ago) were not only *extremely* premature, but demonstrate a fundamental misunderstanding on Sennitt’s part — not just with regard to the “Chaos Current,” but to Initiation in general. It would be great if I could get other’s thoughts on this.

Well let’s face it; the Chaos current is dead. Retrospectively,
it will be extremely difficult to prove it ever actually existed,
other than in the minds of those who caught some brief initial
insight into the writings of Austin Osman Spare.

no one can claim
to have gained reputable knowledge of Spare’s work. Chaos magic
has been a long journey over difficult terrain, finally leading
nowhere.

it is the embarrassing admission that
we took it all so seriously at the time. To make this admission
(like a part of any maturing process) takes guts and humour