asking for it

Scientists may someday discover the parasite that manipulates conservative brains into vomiting up punchlines from ’70s-era “The Lighter Side Of….” cartoons whenever the word “feminist” is mentioned within a 400-yard radius. (You’ll know we’re close to a cure when John McCain, out of nowhere, starts fretting about just how much these parasite paternity lawsuits are costing the gubmint.) But, until the science is finally settled, conservatives will continue to enter a hazy and scary pre-disco fugue state in which Vietnam is still winnable whenever feminazis pen open letters to bloated women-hating AM radio deejays. More data after the jump!

Jane Fonda, Gloria Steinem and Robin Morgan [are] calling for Limbaugh’s show to be taken off the air, because although he may be “constitutionally entitled to his opinions,” they argued that he was not entitled to express them on the radio.

And so the conservative bat signal lights up the night sky, summoning the most dated possible references to take down these mouthy women’s libbers! Come Donner, come Maidenform, come Ho Chi Minh!

Yes, why don't bra burning liberal women come to the defense of conservative women who just want to put men in charge of women's health, welfare and reproduction. Why oh why?

Lynne

Because we hate bras and don't wear them…silly. Oh, that wasn't the point, was it? It's not our fault if conservative women want to be strapped in (by bras and conservative men). They're doing what they choose to do…oh, there's that awful word again….

comrad_darkness

The only nice thing about bras is removing them.

If you know what I mean…

Lynne

Absolutely.

Generation[redacted]

Allow me to offer my support.

miss_grundy

If conservative women are too dang stupid to stand up for their rights, then screw 'em. These chicks are truly stupid and are willing to do anything to get a man, even if the man isn't worth a darn cent. Like those chicks who like to be beards for money, social status or for a Cadillac.

Arken

Because burning your bra is not eco-friendly and the Feminazis are also filthy tree-hugging hippies. I mean duh.

Swampgas_Man

"Hugging" trees is NOT protected by most modern forms of contraception!

What about hugging Teh Blahz? You know, like our Pretzeldunce Barry So-Toro? Didn't he hug some Blah or teh uvver? Is that protected? Will that precious hug-fetus be torn apart by the cruel laughter of feminazis?

Perhaps the reason why femininazees don't burn their bras when conservative women are attacked is because they're saying the same stupid shit that their fat ugly male counterparts are saying. Nobody likes a collaborationist.

Naked_Bunny

Since conservative women use contraception and get abortions, feminists are defending them, in spite of their collaboration with the oppressors.

You know, this sorta reminds me of the town hall meeting I went to during the health care "debate".

The whole room was chock full of teabaggers heckling our congressman, who tried in vain to hold a reasoned conversation with them. After nearly an hour of being shouted down, he he asked, "Okay, how many people are opposed to government, run healthcare?" Nearly every arm in the room flies up. "Okay, now how many people here have medicare?" Again, nearly every hand in the room was raised. "Now, how many of you are satisfied with it?" Every one of the dumb b@stards had their hand in the air. He concluded with "Thank you, that was all I needed to know."

Indeed. Or all those wonderful vets, who, when you get to talking with them, they're full of "the gummint this," and "the gummint that," and none of it any good, of course, till you ask them where they get their health care and then it's all, well, the VA is great, long as they let you in, they'll even give you free Viagra. It's all one can do to keep from choking the living shit out of them, the stupid fucks.

PuckStopsHere

And to think Rush was a mere anal cyst away from being gunned down by Jane Fonda!

hagajim

I'd just say Rush is an anal cyst period. And a pussy one at that. And I'd have said that way before the whore slut comments.

Are they really still calling her Hanoi Jane? Am I stuck in some 1970s wormhole? If so why aren't I 6 again?

BaldarTFlagass

I still see the occasional "I'm not Fonda Hanoi Jane" bumper sticker on a pickup truck, down here in darkest Central Texas. Haven't seen one in a couple years, though; I imagine that might change now.

Biff

I recommend staying the hell out of the VFW hall, then.

BaldarTFlagass

Tits or GTFO, Rush Jane.

KeepFnThatChicken

She's like, eighty. Be careful what you wish for.

BaldarTFlagass

Have you seen a pic of her lately? Better living thru cosmetic surgery, or whatever.

KeepFnThatChicken

Liberal I may be, but I don't google jane fonda boobs for any variety of reasons… probably for the same reason I don't google camille paglia hooters, rachel maddow twins or katy perry threesome.

Okay, okay. The last two one, maybe.

SoBeach

"Liberal I may be, but I don't google jane fonda boobs…"

Well, my search history is tracked only by google, and not google PLUS my employer, so I'll help you out.

That search will fetch you get some pretty decent shots of a young and comely Fonda wearing either some kind or space outfit or leotards.

You're welcome.

Advn2rgirl

I made the mistake of going to the Faux page and trying to read what they said they said. At the bottom, was this headline which I just had to click: "4 Hot Fox News Anchors You Don’t Have To Agree With (MadeMan)" and I got slammed by the Red Screen Of Death (and pr0n-blockage) on my work computer.

sewollef

Gonna have to wait 'til you get home…. then it's just between you and your ISP. And the NSA of course.

Even *then,* it's not like they're actually paying attention to any of the shit she *says,* dood.

Puffperney

Jane always screws up every good cause she chooses to get involved in.

Yes, Rush does have the right to express his views on the radio; thanks for giving the women haters a legitimate "liberal assault on the constitution" leg to stand on. Thanks a lot.

Arken

The Vietnam War was decades ago. She later said that she was stupid and naive and regretted what she did. Plenty of people get forgiven of worse things than her. Can she never, ever express anything about even something as basic as this because of it?

memzilla

Yeah, it's not like there was ever an alcoholic coke-head who served as president who was "forgiven" by the wingtards.

tessiee

Who, iirc, was also against the Vietnam War; at least to the extent of having Daddy pull strings to get him out of it.

SorosBot

Nope; not in wingnut land.

Puffperney

Arken, I don't disagree with you. Still, were I her confidante, I would tell her to remember that every time she gets involved in a cause the old "sitting on an AA gun" thing is going to be thrown into the mix. I don't think it will ever go away; too many people won't let it.

Arken

I think you're wrong and it will go away. I think most people under 40 when they hear about Jane Fonda think, if they even know who she is at all, 'the aerobics lady that married Ted Turner.'

Puffperney

Yes, given enough time, it will probably go away.

SoBeach

I doubt it. They'll still bring up the "Hanoi Jane" stuff decades from now.

SorosBot

Well what else did she ever do besides that aerobics stuff and marrying Ted?

Arken

You could see her boobs in Barbarella!

SorosBot

What's Barbarella, a strip club?

Arken

It's a movie that's like sci-fi crossed with a strip club and some French stuff.

SorosBot

Wait, a movie? What would a professional aerobics instructor be trying to act for?

Arken

The same reason an Austrain bodybuilder thought he'd make a good governor of California.

Damn good movie, even if it is all about my very most favourite stuff in the whole world, i.e., murder, mayhem, SLUTS and PROSTITUTES, and wasn't that ever-so-cool and studly Donald Sutherland in there too somewhere? To drool for.

prommie

Conservative bitches should just shut up and make me a sammitch! Empowered liberal women should not be subjected to be sexist, insulting and degrading comments on the public airwaves! Fucking situational ethics for the win!

tessiee

"Conservative bitches should just shut up and make me a sammitch!"

Wouldn't that fit right in with the traditional values they can't seem to shut up about?

sewollef

Sadly, most undergrads in this country will have no clue what your comment means. But yes, I think left alone people might — might — forget about Hanoi Jane.

And by people, I of course DON'T mean so-called journalists of shit tabloids masquerading as newspapers. They will NEVER forget. Stories like that get handed down, from generation to generation of pompous assholes, who write monosyllabic stories for crackers in Texas.

anniegetyerfun

Oh, The View! I'm always turning to them for information and advice!

Swampgas_Man

Haven't watched since Rosie O left.

BaldarTFlagass

Well, at least Jane went to Viet Nam. Your move, Rush.

memzilla

She also destroyed less US property than John McCain did.

KeepFnThatChicken

We have our Wonkette Comment Win of the Afternoon, if I were voting.

102415

Second that!

Jus_Wonderin

Hasselbeck, in my opinion, is a bit of an airhead.

anniegetyerfun

I would venture to say that she displays less intelligence than most daytime talk show hosts.

prommie

The medical term is "vacuous cunt."

smitallica

Well Elizabeth, feminists don't burn their bras when conservative women are attacked because feminists see conservative women as part of the problem. Now dance for me, sweet tits.

Plus, let's be honest about it: he's got a face (and body) made for radio. Them wimminzfolks won't listen to the shit he spouts at their husbands, mostly, but if they had to look at his fat ugly cigar-smoking mug while he haw-hawed about their pussies, you can bet your sweet mother-fucking, father-diddling ass the Teev would be turned off in one hot minute and the HoneyDo list would be dominating the next ten.

redarmyzombie

I bet you when their man picks up the list, the only thing scrawled on it are the words "Get it out get it out get it out" in a continuous stream.

"Scientists may someday discover the parasite that manipulates conservative brains…"

Only if they use colonoscopes.

KeepFnThatChicken

This is a false dichotomy. The question is not "Should Limbaugh stay on the air or get booted off?" The question is, "Is Limbaugh a scatmuncher, or a fraudulent asshole?"

prommie

All of them, Katie.

anniegetyerfun

For the record, I personally believe that Rush Limbaugh is constitutionally allowed to say whatever he wants, wherever he wants, however he wants. Now, if sponsors don't want to pay for him to say it, well, that's their free speech right as well.

I sincerley hope that Steinem et al aren't really advocating against free speech, even when its the hateful bigots like Limbaugh doing the speaking. Because that's not really helpful on any level.

Yea, that seems to be the way this is getting spun, to be sure. Steinem et al ought to know better. It's not like they're wet behind the ears or anything like that.

swordfis

Yes indeedy.

TheGyrus

Its possible that the conservatives may have given us an inaccurate characterization of whatever was that was written in the editorial.

But they didn't provide a link, so I guess we will just have to take their word for it.

proudgrampa

Limbaugh can speak all he wants; I don't gptta listen to him.

An_Outhouse

Technically we own the air waves so to some extent I think they are correct. If he is 'deserving' of a radio time slot then where is mine? He is welcome to mumble to himself on a street corner somewhere.

Goonemeritus

I don’t think a remake of Barbarella staring Rush would be as popular as the original.

swordfis

Au contraire.

dadanarchist

Conservatives are sick fucks, so you never know.

tessiee

I don't even think a remake of Barbarella starring Hasselbeck would be as popular as the original.

Jane Fonda has apologized many times for what she did during Vietnam War. She also proclaimed her self a born again Christian. Those are things that usually prompt the wingers to forgive. Like with Newt's adultery, or Charles Colson's crimes (google him kids). But they don't like what she's saying, so she's still Hanoi Jane.

SorosBot

And Elizabeth, guess what – you are either lying or stupid. Feminists have defending conservative women from sexist attacks, even misogynistic women like Sarah Palin, because many feminists are against all sexist insults and attacks, even directed at people they don't like.

"Sarah Palin is a feminist" (feminist as positive term)
"Anyone who attacks Sarah Palin is a feminist" (feminist as negative term)

I like to pretend it's all an elaborate piece of political performance art designed to shock us out of our categories and make us interrogate our blinkered masculinist epistemology. But no, no, they're really just horrible people.

Ugh, that first photo uses the classic "Harvest Orange" – a shade long since abandoned by everyone but John Boehner.

BarackMyWorld

note: This is my stardardized response to every conservative who tries to imply there's a double standard. This week it happens to be Elizabeth Hasselback.

Sandra Fluke, unlike _(insert name of consservative woman defending Limbaugh here)_ isn't a public figure with her own platform to respond to Limbaugh. But putting aside the fact that there is an accepted difference between how public figures and private citizens are treated, Rush Limbaugh didn't just call Ms. Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute." He lied about her testimony and motives. He asked her who bought her condoms in junior high school. He said she probably had guys lined up around the block. He said she was having so much sex he was surprised she could still walk. He said she was having sex at sex-addict frequency, all the time, whenever she wants it, and called her an "amoral, baseless, no purpose to her life, woman." If you can show me an example of a liberal commentator doing something similar to this to a conservative woman, I would like to see it. Until then, please stop defending Limbaugh for just expressing an "opinion" which wasn't an opinion at all, but libel (for which he will probably be sued).

Jus_Wonderin

I heard Phyllis Schafly on The Diane Rehm Show this morning, running down the rep of Sandra Fluke. Sounded like talking points memo stuff and I wanted to kick the broad through the radio in her…."that thing that can't be named".

BarackMyWorld

Phyllis Schlafly's greatest accomplishment was convincing enough of the country that women shouldn't have equal rights to derail a Constitutional amendment that was on the verge of passing.

Whenever a conservative woman (or man for that matter) speaks out about how they are supposedly treated differently because of their opinions, I think people should be reminded what the actual opinions were that got them treated differently.

Loaded_Pants

"I heard Phyllis Schafly on The Diane Rehm Show this morning…"
Good grits, Schafly's still alive? (checks wikipedia)
Makes me glad I missed Rehm's show today. I would have ran out of swear words.

I can't believe that so many people, even here on Teh Wonketz, are confusing the issue here. It is NOT about free speech at all. His right to free speech is constitutionally protected, and Congress has made no law to suppress it. However, should the *targets* of his free speech respond to his bullying by refusing to buy his advertisers' products, I fail to see how that even *raises* a free speech issue. People are free to spend their money as they please, just as that gangrenous pusbag is free to say what he pleases. Free market, not governmental suppression.

BarackMyWorld

I don't remember saying it was or wasn't. I was talking about Hasselback's implication of double standard.

Beetagger

You're so cute when you're mad, Sugar Tits.

anniegetyerfun

I'm sure no one saw this coming with Hasselbeck. It's not like she immediately assumes the role of the neglected victim advocate whenever anyone anywhere suffers from anything – as long as she can find a neglected victim that has something in common with HER.

Syria attacks its own people.
Hasselbeck: But why aren't we talking about how some Syrians are CHRISTIANS??!?!

Army private loses mind, massacres Afghan civilians
Hasselbeck: How come no one is talking about a little white girl who disappeared over the weekend? I'm sure her parents are very worried!

dijetlo

Why is it more upscale dystopian hellscapes boast a thunder dome and all we have is "The View"?

Jus_Wonderin

This comment Wins me.

tessiee

I suppose we've gotta live with the dystopian hellscape we have, not the dystopian hellscape that we'd *like* to have.

May I suggest the esteemed Ms. Hasselbeck turn to burning tampons? Preferably while they are in use.

proudgrampa

Would someone please explain to me why Hasselbeck gets paid to spout her stupidity when proudgrampa can't get a real job???

HelmutNewton

Because she blew Mark Burnett to get on Survivor. And she has a vagina, also.

Redhead

In ConservativeLand, women who use birth control/expect their health insurance to actually cover things are prostitutes, women who leave the kitchen and expect to be treated equally are Nazis, and insane discriminatory libelous drug addicts are the last persecuted class, whose honor must be defended at all costs.

tessiee

"Would you like fries with that?"

tessiee

That cunt.

proudgrampa

Your Dad sounds like someone I would love. Bless his heart.

tessiee

Also, too: Why don't blah people get all bent out of shape when plantation overseers are attacked?

Callyson

Conservatives are always going on about "why don't feminists do X, Y, and Z" when in fact, if they bothered to listen to what feminists are actually saying, they would find that feminists are doing X, Y, and Z. To wit: http://www.now.org/news/blogs/index.php/sayit/201…
Assholes.

tessiee

Yeah, why don't us crazy dames get all bent out of shape when those women who are trying to make life drastically worse for us are attacked*?
Go understand people, huh?

*because any criticism of any conservative about anything, ever, is an attack, right?

An_Outhouse

I thought they burned their bras because they were out of batteries…

for their flash lights.

tessiee

Given what a terrible job they've done of interpreting the words of Jesus, who they actually consider to be on their side, I'm not at all sure I trust the right to accurately interpret the words of Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem.