2/15/2016

Headline Feb 15, 2016/ ''' KINDNESS : THE GREATEST WEAPON EVER '''

''' KINDNESS :

THE GREATEST WEAPON EVER '''

''!LIFE IS TO GIVE........NOT TO TAKE!'' wrote the great French Philosopher Victor Hugo, over a century ago.

ONE SYNONYM for the word kindness is the term humanity. Kindness is essentially a recognition of the fact that we're all human-

*An acknowledgment that we're all in this together*.

''Most of what makes life worth living depends on at least some of us being altruistic some of the time,'' Professor Bowles says.

''We cannot address problems like global climate change, the spread of disease and political violence by appealing only to selfish motives.''

But none of what I have written in the earlier writing explains why we are kind when we so choose to be. But then, just hear this:

Rebecca Egan made one of the greatest sacrifices possible for someone she loved - ''she donated a kidney to her 57-year-old father. ''It was one of the easiest things I've ever had to decide,'' says Egan, 34.

It was a profound act of kindness, but one she feels she could do only for a loved one. ''I don't know why, but I don't think I could have just randomly given a kidney away -I would probably only consider it for a family member,'' she says.

''At the same time, giving my dad my kidney did help someone else, because dad's no longer on the on the organ donor waiting list, so someone can take his place.

Rebecca Egan's father may be able to thank his genes twice over for his daughter's kindness. A 2005 study from Hebrew University in Israel found a link between kindness and a gene that releases dopamine, a feeling good neurotransmitter in the brain.

Research by Alan Luke in his 1991 book, ''The healing Power of Doing Good, found that helpers reported a distinct physical sensation when being kind. Many reported feeling more energetic, warm, calmer and greater self-worth, a pehenomenon he calls the ''helper's high''.

Some scientists say that because we're altruistic only for the good of the group and to get a dopamine rush, it means kindness is actually, well, selfish.

''Probably most altruism is self-interest at some level,'' says Bill Von Hippel, a professor of psychology at the University of Queensland.

SPREAD IT AROUND

''Who cares if kindness is selfish?'' says Catherine Ryan Hyde. Her book Pay It Forward followed the story of a troubled schoolboy who decides to start repaying every good deed done to him by performing three good deeds for others.

The book was made into a movie and sparked a movement of people dedicated to ''paying it forward'' in real life. The movement illustrates how kindness can be truly selfless -strangers helping strangers with no expectations of personal gain.

Ryan Hyde says it doesn't matter what motivates to give - it simply matters that they have chosen to give in the first place.

''If somebody helps me out, do I want them to feel bad about it?'' she says. ''If the helper and helpee both feel good, it seems like a win-win to me. There's no way to perform an act of kindness.''

GIVING FREELY

Kindness has another similarity with happiness -it can't be bought. professor Sam Bowles says economists often make the mistake of assuming people are inherently selfish, and that we will only do something good for a financial reward or to avoid a fine. But Bowles research published in Science this year, found otherwise.

He reported research on six child-care centres that started inflicting fines on parents who were late picking up their children. After the fines were introduced, parents were twice as likely to be late.

A similar study also found women were actually less likely to donate blood if they were paid. Bowles believes we resent the idea that our principles can be bought: we prefer to do good deeds for their own sake.

''People enjoy being kind to others much as they enjoy eating ice-cream. It gives us pleasure,'' he says.

And the good news is that it's easy to train ourselves to be kinder. ''People should simply do more acts of kindness than they usually do, and do them on a regular basis, like five acts of kindness every Monday,'' says Professor Lyubomirsky.

Kindness, then, is just a matter choice -an attitude you carry with you can make a difference, however small, in someone else's life.

Diego Villaveces believes that kindness has to begin with ourselves. ''Sometimes we lock people out to keep ourselves safe, but that also isolates us from the rest of the world,'' he says.

''Every major religion has love as a universal principle. Kindness takes love to a gentler more accessible level that most people feel comfortable with.

Showing a little bit of kindness to people recognises that everyone around you is just like yourself.''

You all will soon discover for yourself that Kindness will not only make you happier, it might help you live longer.

So many things that make life rough around the edges -an indiscriminate dent in your car, an uncalled for snub, a door slammed in your face -are due to lack of consideration.

Kindness, is what the world leaders need to ponder. Kindness can solve just about every problem of the world.

For many, many acts of greatness, humanity and kindness that I observed in many cases, over a period of a life time: