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Nota Bene

Our modern relationships have nothing to do anymore with the one our grandparents, or even our parents went through. Years of fights for equality have completely changed the relationships between men and women. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worst.
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Exploring the highs and lows of relationships

Love will tear us apart

Recently, I assisted to the wedding of two of my former friends I haven’t seen since elementary school. Back then, when we were 10, they were attached at the hip but went separate ways when we enter high school etc. They told me they reconnected two years ago, by accident, as she realised he was working for a company which has tight bonds with hers. She got invited to their New Year event and that’s where she met him again, 22 years later. She told me it was a shock to see him again after so many years, and that she barely recognized him at first. He, on the other hand, immediately did, and said he was mesmerized by how she could remain that beautiful. Both were already divorced from a previous marriage.

This story simply amazes me because I often hear a different version of it. Most of my friends who had a sweetheart when they were younger were either disappointed when they met him/her ten, fifteen, twenty years later or just that their former object of affection/desire simply forgot about them/ find them just annoying or even repelling.

Chances you can fall in love again with an old flame are really thin. They depend on several factors, like for instance your mutual attractiveness, the bond you had back then, chemistry, how both of you have turned out, the way the relationship ended and your availability. My two former friends were both available when they met again, and they haven’t forgotten about each other. I guess in their head, it was pretty obvious they should dust off their old relationship. They are evolving in the same kind of professional activity, and they still find each other attractive.

If none or just a few of these conditions are met, I don’t think it’s possible to rekindle an old romance. If you ended your relationship because you couldn’t stand him/her anymore, even if you’re still attracted to each other, you will think twice before jumping again in the relationship. Besides, people change as they grow old, and simply grew apart from each other. When I was five, I was battling with one of my best friends for the love of a blonde guy, and many years later, I met him again and felt just nothing for him. I felt he had become a total stranger for me.

Probably depends on the age. A crush or break up at age 5 or 10 would not be nearly as painful or meaningful as one at 18 or 25.

What I don’t get is the people who marry/divorce/marry/divorce again and again. In that case, you definitely know what faults you’re up against and what didn’t work. Guess some people are more optimistic than I.

First of all when I was 5 I didn’t have anything but playtime with boys and even in elementary school any relationship I had didn’t consist of anything more than passing notes or maybe, maybe holding hands on the playground. So I would never even consider that in the realm of an X. High school would be different and any of those guys would be marked off my list of suitable men because I know so much about them and unless there was a significant change in behavior I doubt I would consider it.