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Oct 17, 2014

Review: Abominable (2006)

Bigfoot is really cool isn't he? I mean, just imagine seeing some big, hairy and smelly beast roaming about and leaving huge footprints behind. I've watched a couple Bigfoot specials on TV in the past and I guess I'm just drawn to the absurdity of the whole thing. No I don't think Bigfoot actually exists, but he's just fascinating to me.That's why it just sounds like an awesome idea to put Bigfoot in a movie.

Bigfoot could be the makings of an interesting horror movie no? Maybe it's just me, but I can see it. I suppose that the only thing a movie like that would be good for is what could be categorized as a Bigfoot slasher. It could be done right though! With just a touch of irony I think it could be pretty fun. Anyway, I guess I'm just crazily intrigued by the novelty of a movie with Bigfoot. I want Abominable to work so bad. _______________________________________________________________________________

Synopsis

Preston Rogers (Matt McCoy) returns home to his house in the woods following a stay in a mental institution. He was involved in a rock climbing accident that paralyzed him from the waist down and also killed his wife. Next door a group of young women arrive to celebrate the upcoming marriage of Karen (Ashley Hartman). Preston is absolutely sure that he sees something moving in the trees that looks like big trouble. But in his current state, he has difficulty in warning his fellow neighbours.

Review

The opener which features a farmer, his wife and a dog is an example of some pretty bad acting. Honestly, the only good actor in that opener is the dog. I was hoping that I'd see an improvement as the movie went on but that wasn't really the case. The dialogue is as wooden as its forest setting and no one is able to ease the pain. Not Matt McCoy and not even Paul Gleason in a small role.

It's definitely weird seeing McCoy in something like this. I've only really know him from his two episodes in Seinfeld as Lloyd Braun, the man Estelle and Frank Costanza wish George could be more like. I don't really blame McCoy completely though because he's saddled with a script that has a pretty good idea, but it's just really poorly executed.

Honestly though, I like the idea of having a guy in his house who's physically handicapped trying to warn some neighbours about some kind of impending danger. He's pretty much powerless and has to figure out a way to help. I can clearly remember one sequence where for a second I thought "Maybe this won't be such a bad movie," but that was over before I knew it.

With stereotypical bimbos, token nudity from one of those bimbos, as well as way too many lazy and non-believing characters who shrug off every hint of danger, Abominable seems to fall in way too many dumb horror movie tropes. I haven't even gotten to talking about Bigfoot yet or the scares in this movie. I'm sure you already have an idea of where I'm going with this and you'd be right.

Bigfoot is incredibly stupid looking, he's handled like a carton of eggs in a dump truck and the scares are poorly done. There's an attempt at teasing Bigfoot without really showing him, but there isn't really a single moment where you're tense about what's going to happen next. Once you see him that's when the disappointment really sinks in. I guess I shouldn't expected much from a silly looking movie like this but I couldn't really help it. At least Ryan Schifrin was generous enough to sprinkle in a few bad jump scares as well as some unnecessary gore.

I might be the only one, but I will continue to hope for a good movie with my favourite mythical creature. I can see the seeds of a promising movie in Abominable, but there's just too much that's wrong with it. There's an unbelievable amount of bad acting, poor dialogue and way too many horror movie tropes. If anyone knows of a good Bigfoot movie please let me know, I'd love to see it.