Screech Is No Longer Saved By The Bell

Well, this is really sad, you guys. Dustin Diamond, the twerp who played dorky Screech on “Saved By The Bell,” appeared on Fox News yesterday to promote his book, Behind The Bell, a tell-all about the dirt behind the scenes of the ’90s teen sitcom. I don’t know whether to feel more disturbed by his geometric facial hair, his strange Dr. Evil laugh, or his obvious bitterness over his former castmates’ (Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Mario Lopez) relative success. You may remember several years ago when Diamond faced foreclosure on his home in Port Washington, WI, a suburb of Milwaukee, and sold t-shirts for $15 with “I paid 15 dollars to help Screeech [sic] save his house” emblazoned on the front. He explained he had to include an extra “e” in Screeech because of copyright laws. Later it came out that his house was never at risk for foreclosure and the whole thing had been a publicity stunt! This wasn’t quite as bad as the publicity stunt he pulled later that year when a sex tape — probably leaked by him — showing him ejaculating on an apple pie hit the internet. The guy’s such a hot desperate mess, the juiciest “dirt” in his tell-all seems to be that cast members allegedly took steroids while doing the show. “You can see about 25 pounds of growth,” Diamond screeches, referring to Gosselaar, who happened to star on the series and its spin-off between the ages of 15-21 when guys tend to, you know, grow a lot. Dudes, I think I smell a bestseller. [via BuzzFeed and Wikipedia]