The going's been kind of slow lately, but I manage to squeeze fanfic-writing into my spare time. The basic plot of the story is about trainers trying to win their way to the top of the Pokemon league. However, to not make it cliché like so many other stories of this nature, I decided to focus on the Pokemon mythology, the side never told.
I believe I may have at last found my strong suit in writing fan fiction (so far I have whipped out 18 chapters in 40+ pages on Word). But that is enough talking. I believe the Ancient Legacy is about to begin.

Comments, critiques, and suggestions are appreciated, but for the most part, just read and enjoy. At the suggestion of a friend, I am double spacing my paragraphs.

Quote:

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1

The sun rose slowly in the eastern sky. The air was still murky from the fog the night before. The Starly fluttered their wings and began singing their sweet songs, heralding the coming of the morning. And in one house in the small town of Blackberry, a boy who was supposed to begin his first day as a Pokémon trainer was sleeping in.

He was roughly fifteen years of age. He was of average height and build, and had hazel-colored hair and eyes. The whole night before, he’d been looking out at the foggy sky in anticipation, unable to sleep due to his “big day” in the morning, until his eyes finally succumbed to drowsiness at an unknown late hour – he wasn’t paying attention to the clock at all.

When his Chingling-style alarm clock went off, he blindly flung his arm in the air, mumbling, “Aw come on, five more minutes…” The alarm clock ignored his plea and continued to ring without mercy. The boy repeated his past action, and continued to repeat it until his younger sister came up the stairs to wake him up, seeing as he still hadn’t come down for breakfast.

At this he started up, and in so doing hit his head on the bottom of the top bunk.

“Why…Ow! Why didn’t you say so? I’d better eat my breakfast quick!”

He pressed a little button on the top of the “head” of the alarm clock, the only language the clock knew. It then complied with the boy’s order to stop its merciless chiming.

He rushed down and hurriedly ate his breakfast. To his delight, they were his favorite – waffles. His mother had baked them special for the two children to commemorate the exciting event. Then brother and sister quickly snatched up their knapsacks and ran out the door together, with their mother calling after them to “remember to head for the dock!”

Even though their house was farthest from the dock, the village was quite small and the run only took them about thirty seconds. A clean-shaven man with spectacles and a white lab-coat was waiting there for them.

“You two must feel awfully special,” he said. “You’re the first children in Blackberry Village to take up the life of the Pokémon trainer.”

“Yes, Professor Cedar,” the boy replied, “we feel invigorated today.”

“I can see why. After all, who wouldn’t be after deciding to take up this wondrous lifestyle? Now, come aboard my boat, where we will ride to Berry Island for you to each select your first Pokémon.”

Both brother and sister nodded in acceptance and embarked. As they did so, they noticed someone in a black cloak who was already on the boat. Already they were worried.

“Professor, who is that over there?” the boy asked, twitching his head in the direction of the strange figure.

“Oh, he’s just a friend of mine. He is a seasoned Pokémon trainer, and has much advice he would impart unto you.”

The cloaked man waved in response, alleviating their fears…somewhat.

The boat cast off from shore, with the entire village waving goodbye after them and wishing them well. When Blackberry was almost out of sight, the two siblings asked the cloaked man some questions about Pokémon training.

“So, you’re a Pokémon trainer too?” the sister asked.

“That is correct,” the mysterious man replied. “What do you ask of me?”

“Well first,” the brother began, “we want to know your name. Calling you ‘mysterious person’ or something similar is so impersonal.”

“I’m Dialga,” the boy answered, “and I’m 15. This is my sister Palkia; she’s a year younger than me.”

“Heh,” Guardian replied, “for a while I assumed you to be twins. Now, for your real questions.”

“Oh right,” Palkia said. “What’s Berry Island like?”

“Berry Island is a natural paradise. Pokémon of all kinds live there in perfect harmony with nature. As is the custom of this land, no humans may live on Berry Island, but it is where many Pokémon trainers come to pick their first partner. The Pokémon there are all docile; they have no urge to fight against humans.”

“And what kinds of Pokémon live there?” asked Dialga.

“Oh, all kinds! Insects, fish, forest-dwellers…for the most part, if you name it, it’s there. And the landscape there is absolutely magnificent. Vegetation of all kinds abound. And…” Guardian stopped and looked toward the south.

I am so glad you're posting this now, I've been looking forward to following this for quite a while now. I'm looking forward to seeing how the myths will be expanded into a fanfic, and I know that you'll pull it off with the utmost skill DNA.

When's the next update?

_________________

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."

Wed Dec 19, 2007 2:23 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

The Obsidian Wolf wrote:

Yes!

I am so glad you're posting this now, I've been looking forward to following this for quite a while now. I'm looking forward to seeing how the myths will be expanded into a fanfic, and I know that you'll pull it off with the utmost skill DNA.

When's the next update?

For the most part, it'll be when I feel like it, as I'm already up to chapter *looks* ... well, part way through 21. And I don't even think I'm halfway done yet.
It's not going to be every day like the Epic of Torchic, as that left almost no time for comments and critiques.
The next update should come along relatively soon though (probably by tomorrow or so), so be on the lookout.

My, am I late. I probably should have thought of this a few days ago. The first 2 or 3 chapters are rather short, but they aren't just run-of-the-mill "Pick up your Pokemon at Oak's lab" style chapters. Since this was way before Oak even existed, I had to do something at least a bit different.

Quote:

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2

Their first thought was to scour the island, finding whatever popped out at them. Palkia began to search over by a small beach. She saw Clamperl in the tide pools, Seel playing in the water with light rocks, but what caught her attention the most was a Piplup. After all, it was grabbing onto her leg. She looked down at it, and it stared back with eyes that said “Take me with you”. And to top that off, it was incredibly cute. She picked it up and hugged it, and the Piplup hugged back. She knew she’d found her ideal partner.

She rushed back to the boat, her Piplup in her arms.

“Cedar!” she exclaimed. “I’ve found a Piplup! It’s my ideal partner!”

Cedar and Guardian moseyed over to Palkia and her Piplup.

“I can see just by looking at it that it’s very attached to you,” Guardian said to her.

“We’ll wait three minutes,” replied Guardian. “If he’s not back by then, I’ll go after him.”

Meanwhile, Dialga had indeed ventured deep into the forest, drawn by a whining sound, like something in pain.

(I know I heard it around here somewhere,) he thought. He then heard the whining noise again, this time accompanied by the movement of plants. Walking closer and closer to the noise, he finally found its source. A Dratini was caught in some hanging vines, and they became tighter every time the baby dragon struggled.

“A Dratini!” Dialga exclaimed. “Don’t worry; I’ll get you out of here.”

Out of his knapsack, Dialga produced his pocketknife and opened a small blade. He began working at the vines, slowly but surely. In a short matter of time he had severed one vine, and with it the whole network collapsed. The Dratini then slithered out, and Dialga put away his pocketknife, and continued to look for the Pokémon that would best suit him. However, the Dratini called after him, and rushed up to Dialga, nudging his shoe with its nose.

“You want to come with me?” Dialga asked it.

The Dratini nodded in understanding. Dialga, in response, picked up the Dratini and made his way back toward the boat, feeling triumphant he’d helped out a Pokémon on his first day.

When he returned, he found his three companions anxiously waiting for him.

“Where’ve you been?” Palkia exclaimed frantically. “We were so worried!”

“It’s okay, sister,” responded her brother calmly. “I heard a Pokémon in trouble, so I rescued it. Then it seemed friendly to me, and wanted to come with me. So, I took it with me.”

The Dratini was in Dialga’s arms, nuzzled up to him half-asleep.

“Well, as long as we are all here, all is well, right?” Guardian asked.

“Very much so,” replied Cedar. “Now, let’s return to the village. I’m sure the others are anxious to meet you and your new Pokémon.”

Both brother and sister nodded, following Cedar onto the boat, with Guardian bringing up the rear. Cedar revved the engine of the small vessel to life, and sent it north back toward Blackberry village.

This way, the Pokemon develops more of a psychological bond, and sees the trainer as a friend instead of an overlord. I thought it was a good idea to implement that, but of course, any comments are welcome.

This is great! I really can't think of a way to make it better, so keep up the good work.
Can't wait for the next chapter!

_________________

Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:33 am

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

The time to be able to come onto Psypoke again has presented itself; I shall use this moment to produce chapter 3. This depicts a little reunion before the journey actually begins. Comments etc. are more than welcome.

Quote:

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3

“Seeing as how Blackberry village is, for the most part, surrounded by mountains,” Cedar remarked, “as soon as you say your farewells Guardian and I will bring the boat further along shore to Globe City. From there, you will head inland to begin your journey.”

“So what exactly does a trainer do, Professor?” Dialga inquired.

“Guardian, if you would?”

“Of course,” came the reply. “Pokémon trainers travel the land to aspire to become the best. To prove this, eight gyms have been set up, each run by a powerful trainer called the Gym Leader. Every time you defeat a Gym Leader, they will give you a special badge attesting to your strength.”

“What happens after we get all eight badges?” Palkia interjected.

“Ah yes. From there, you head to the Pokémon League, where you go to battle the strongest trainers in the entire region. Defeat them, and you will be a true Champion.

“Additionally, each of these strong trainers focuses around a specific theme. One may concentrate on using Fire types, and another may center solely on Water. Still another may utilize Electric types…you know where I’m going with this, right?”

The two siblings nodded, to which Guardian replied “Good.”

At around this time, Blackberry village came from over the horizon back into view. Dialga and Palkia, each with their first Pokémon, looked back at the shore with huge grins on their faces. On the part of the townspeople, however, there were many mixed reactions. Some were very glad that the two children were setting off on the enterprise, some were disenheartened that the already small village would have two less people, but most of them felt both ways. But none was more emotional than the children’s mother…however; it was to be expected from this sad parting. She rushed out to the two with hugs and tears.

“I’ll miss you so much when you’re gone,” she sobbed. “The village will be so empty without you.”

“Don’t be sad, mother,” Palkia said. “We’ll be back one day, I promise.”

“I know *sob*…” the mother replied. “Oh, when you left, you forgot these…” She produced two small necklaces. One had a blue translucent gem as its centerpiece, and the other had a pink translucent one.

“Our charms,” Dialga muttered.

“Yes. Take them with you always, and never let them out of your sight. These are very valuable to me, as they were passed down from my parents. I would be heartbroken were I to find out they were lost.”

“Yes mother. We shall not lose them.”

The two took their respective necklaces – Dialga with the blue gem, and Palkia with the pink gem – and put them on. At this action, Guardian, who was leaning half-asleep on the wall of the captain’s quarters upon the boat, suddenly jerked awake. Cedar noticed this sudden reaction and asked Guardian what was the matter.

“The necklaces…” he replied, half-muttering. “It … has begun.”

Cedar gave Guardian a quizzical look and walked off, apparently very confused as to what “it” was. But Guardian knew. He knew all too well. He knew Cedar would soon forget, but the children wouldn’t, so he would never mention “it” around them, or to anyone else for that matter.

The villagers were enthralled at the two new Pokémon that were brought into the village, but this spooked the shy Pokémon so Dialga and Palkia had to leave quickly. They said their last farewells and hopped onto the boat.

“Well, are we ready to cast off, you two?” Cedar asked.

“Yes, we are,” Palkia replied. At that, Cedar started the boat up again and headed out to sea, this time to the east.

The chapters are going to be longer in future for the most part. And the pendants will be integral to the plot, so pay attention to them.

Last edited by DNA on Sat Dec 29, 2007 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Fri Dec 28, 2007 11:56 am

The Obsidian Wolf

Pokemon Master

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:03 amPosts: 1559Location: Dragon's Den

*claps* hooray, an update, and an exciting one that makes the reader salivate for another!

I'm particularly liking the two necklaces, and what Guardian has to do with them. This fic is win.

One thing, that's only minor, but worth mentioning:

Quote:

But none was more emotional than the children’s mother…but seriously, can you blame her? She rushed out to the two with hugs and tears.

Having a question in a piece of text seems to make it sound like there is an author, perhaps a narrator that actively tells the story from their own point of view, and seeing as you've not used this sort of description anywhere else in your fic, it seems to make it a bit...out of place?

But anyway, this fanfic is still brilliant, and if that's the only fault I can find with it, then it shows how brilliant it is.

_________________

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."

Sat Dec 29, 2007 9:57 am

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

Thanks for the suggestion. I slightly changed the sentence to not state the question, but still imply the same idea.

Quote:

...however, it was to be expected from this sad parting.

If that seems out of place don't hesitate to tell me.
Next chapter should be up as soon as I can get on. I have a tournament to be leaving to right now, so until next time, bye guys!

Seriously, you got really neat stuff here DNA, I hope you resume this story as soon as possible.

Come to think of it, two of my favourite pokemon fanfictions here (yours and TOW's) bear some resemblance to mine in a way, I could only wish I wrote as good as you guys.

I'm waiting expectantly for next installment.

_________________

AABM's

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Sat Dec 29, 2007 11:18 am

Cherrygrove

Gym Leader

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 6:28 pmPosts: 743Location: Ottawa

Wow, you have great writing skills. I am really enjoying this.

Just one thing, when this Guardian says "the necklaces..." "It..has begun" I can't imagine his tone of voice....if he's worried, or feels like he's gotta do something, or if he's like 'finally' or 'whatever'. I can't really see the importance of the necklaces in relation to this character, and if it has a lot to do with him, or perhaps the whole world even, or just the kids.

Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:59 pm

The Obsidian Wolf

Pokemon Master

Joined: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:03 amPosts: 1559Location: Dragon's Den

Cherrygrove wrote:

Wow, you have great writing skills. I am really enjoying this.

Just one thing, when this Guardian says "the necklaces..." "It..has begun" I can't imagine his tone of voice....if he's worried, or feels like he's gotta do something, or if he's like 'finally' or 'whatever'. I can't really see the importance of the necklaces in relation to this character, and if it has a lot to do with him, or perhaps the whole world even, or just the kids.

I see where you're coming from, but in this case, I think the reader would know how he would say it. I mean, we know, as readers that have played through DP, that the gemstones of each necklace are clearly the respective gems of Dialga and Palkia, the Adamant Orb and the Lustrous Orb. So it's pretty likely that he'll be saying it a shocked tone, as conveyed by the 'half-muttered.'

THat's my take on it anyway.

_________________

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."

Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:00 am

Cherrygrove

Gym Leader

Joined: Sat May 12, 2007 6:28 pmPosts: 743Location: Ottawa

I do not own or have played through DP, and have not seen any of this from some videos of Marriland's that I have seen, so I don't know of these stones, and there significance, or where perhaps this story might be going.....I suppose that's a good thing though as there will be no predictability for me

Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:20 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

Well, seeing as you all convey mixed thoughts on what Guardian's reaction truly was, I'm going to leave the answer for you to guess at.
AABM, it means a lot to get a compliment from someone like you. Truth be told, this story was forming in my head midway through when I wrote the Epic of Torchic. I just never felt motivated to put it in print until a few weeks ago.
But since I don't want to disappoint, I'll stop my yammering and get on with the story!

Quote:

-----
4

“Now, you two,” Guardian began, “I have some things for you.”

“What kind of things?” Palkia asked.

“You’ll see,” he replied, and produced two purple vials of a spray of some sort, along with several small spherical objects, with a red top half and a white bottom half.

“Now these,” he continued, holding up two of the spheres, “are called Poké Balls. They are used to store your Pokémon in if need be. Go on, let’s see if your Pokémon are comfortable with them.” He handed Dialga and Palkia one each.

“To sync a Poké Ball with a Pokémon, first your Pokémon must touch the button on the ball, in the center here.” At this he pointed to the small circular button halfway between the top and the bottom of the ball. “Go on, try it.”

Dialga and Palkia each showed their Pokémon the Poké Balls. Dratini caught on right away, and touched the button with his round nose. Instantly Dratini was bathed in red light, and the red light shot into the ball and closed up. Palkia’s Piplup, however, took a while to catch on. At first the small female penguin tried to eat it, but after finding out it was not edible, she tried talking to it. But the ball didn’t keep very good conversation either, so she began to play with it and rolling around.

“No, silly!” Palkia giggled. “You have to press this button here in the middle.”

The Piplup then nodded, and pressed the button. It too was engulfed by a red light, which went into the ball, and the ball admitted the light shortly before closing up. Unfortunately, unlike her brother, Palkia’s first reaction was to panic. She screamed.

“Aaaah! What happened to my Piplup?” she asked frantically.

“Patience, Palkia,” replied Guardian. “I’m getting to that. Now, to bring your Pokémon back out again, you can either push the button like so…” He demonstrated on one of the empty Poké Balls, which opened up. “…Or, you can throw it in front of you. This will also trigger the release mechanism, and the ball will also return to your hand.”

“How does it know to return to the owner’s hand?” asked Dialga.

“That’s a very good question. I don’t believe I’ve ever been asked. When the Poké Ball is held in someone’s hand, it reads the person’s body heat. When thrown, after the Pokémon is released it senses for what has an identical body heat to the person’s hand, and uses a float mechanism to return there. But because of this, the throwing mechanism deactivates in frigid conditions. That’s what the button is for – a backup. Now, the both of you try it.”

Palkia was still flustered from the earlier incident, so she merely pressed the button. The Poké Ball opened up, and shot out a dazzling white light. It alighted on the ship’s deck, and assumed the form of a small penguin. The light disappeared, and the cheery form of Piplup was left behind.

“Oh Piplup!” she exclaimed. “I thought I’d lost you!” She picked up the penguin and hugged it tightly, and the penguin hugged her back.

Dialga decided to see if this throwing mechanism actually worked how Guardian said it did. He threw the Poké Ball forward about two feet, and it opened in midair, releasing a white light onto the deck. The light took Dratini’s form and then cleared, leaving Dratini behind. Instantly the Poké Ball closed up and returned straight into Dialga’s hand.

“Another good question. Being converted into a form of energy, it is placed in suspended animation, and is reanimated once released. Also, to return your Pokémon to its ball, simply press the button yourself. However, all these functions of the Poké Ball only work within close range, due to how it is designed.”

“So, being a simple design, it can be easily customized to suit a certain need?”

“Correct. For that purpose, the standard red on the ball and the red light is replaced with another color. In a way, all balls are color coded. For example…” He produced another Poké Ball, but this one was slightly different. Instead of the standard red top, it was blue with two red stripes, one to each side of the ball.

“This is a Great Ball. It has improved strength, and makes wild Pokémon slightly easier to catch. Now for…Argh!”

“What is it, Guardian?” Dialga asked.

“I completely forgot I was supposed to escort some other new trainers today as well! Cedar, do you mind making a stop at the Jade Forest?”

Cedar docked on a small beach where there was a path leading into some vividly green woods. Guardian disembarked and left them with some words.

“The three of you stay in the boat. I don’t want anyone getting lost in this forest. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He then ran headlong into the trees.

It's my take on how Poke Balls were invented. I didn't really think much of Kurt though, so don't expect any Apricorns, as I'd be getting too technical.
I'm also elaborating a bit on the personalities of the protagonists - Palkia the easily excitable, and Dialga the incredibly tactical. They're almost complete opposites in that respect, yet they are still siblings.

That was interesting take on the concept of the pokeball - Great writing.

And about the apricrons, I think they were used in the early pokeballs and aren't used anymore, so no worries about that

Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:58 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

Cherrygrove wrote:

That was interesting take on the concept of the pokeball - Great writing.

And about the apricrons, I think they were used in the early pokeballs and aren't used anymore, so no worries about that

Technically, this story takes place far before the world as we know it even existed. Because of that, neither apricorns nor Kurt would have existed. Therefore you'd have Poke Balls, then Apricorns, then Poke Balls... Meh, we'll just say that the art of making Poke Balls was lost. Moving on. - DNA

I wish Obs would have seen this chapter before this one, but as I take it he's rather busy. But he can still read that chapter and this. I'll introduce two new integral characters in this chapter. The names you may find familiar.

Quote:

-----
5

“So, what’s in that forest, Professor Cedar?” Palkia inquired.

“There’s a small village on the other side of the forest,” Cedar answered. “Many exotic varieties of Pokémon abound there. There’s nothing particularly special about it, except there have been reports of a never-before-seen Pokémon that resides inside the forest.”

“Do you think we’ll be able to see it?”

“I doubt it. Guardian’s seen every Pokémon in the world throughout his travels, and he’s told me that the rare forest-dwelling Pokémon is absolutely impossible to track down. He says it’s never been caught, and it’s safe to assume that it will stay that way.”

“Why is that so?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen it. Ask Guardian; he’s the man with the answers.”

At this, there came a continuous rustling noise from within the forest. The vegetation began to move. Whatever was moving it was getting closer and closer. Dialga and Palkia took immediate action.

“Alright Dratini,” Dialga told his Pokémon, “are you ready for whatever comes out of those woods?”

Fortunately, it was only Guardian. He was accompanied by two small children; one was a pink-haired girl who seemed incredibly peppy, and the other was a blue-haired boy reserved in his emotions. Both had large blue eyes and clear skin.

“Hi, you three,” Guardian said. “I’m back, and I’ve brought the new trainers with me.”

“Alright, let’s set off,” Cedar answered.

“Isn’t this exciting, brother?” the girl exclaimed to her brother. “We get to become trainers today, and explore the world with our Pokémon!”

“Not so fast, sister,” the boy replied. “We have to register in Globe City first.”

“Register?” asked Dialga. “I don’t understand.”

“Sorry, you two,” Guardian answered. “I owe you an explanation. You see, every person who becomes a Pokémon trainer must first go to Globe City and register their name in person. From there, the Pokémon League tracks their progress over a wide wireless network that encompasses the whole world. The two network hubs are in the Globe City building and the Pokémon League building. The staffs there, along with the Gym Leaders, register every trainer’s progress. For example, if you had defeated a Gym Leader, the Gym Leader would then access the network and report that you defeated him, and then modify your network profile to say that you had his badge. The same thing goes with all the Gym Leaders and the Pokémon League. It’s simple, yet complicated.”

“I … think I understand,” responded Palkia.

“I understand perfectly,” responded Dialga. “Once you get the hang of it, it isn’t that hard to understand.”

“That’s good to hear. Anyway, you should all be introduced. These two young children here are Mesprit…” Guardian pointed to the little girl, “and Azelf…” and then to the boy. “And these two are Dialga and Palkia.”

Since Mesprit and Azelf were so short, the two teenagers knelt down to shake their hands and say “Nice to meet you,” to which the smaller children responded “Likewise.”

“So far, Dialga and Palkia,” Guardian continued, “Mesprit and Azelf are soon to hold the record for being the youngest trainers in the world to register.”

On the part of Dialga and Palkia, there was an awkward silence. They could hardly believe that two six-year-olds were about to begin their career as trainers, while the two of them were already halfway through puberty.

“Wow, that is young,” Dialga finally responded. “I wonder who holds the record for being the oldest trainer to start out?”

“Oh, I think fifty-five. I can’t remember the exact date. Yeah, I know, I don’t look that old. But it’s the truth. There may be trainers that are older, or longer so than I, but I am the most accomplished – I got all the badges and defeated the Pokémon League in only three days.”

There was another awkward silence.

“So that’s why you know so much,” Dialga answered.

“Yes. The Pokémon League has put me, along with Cedar here, in charge of giving all the new recruits the lowdown on becoming trainers. But enough about me. The lesson still isn’t over.

“Now I shall teach you about Potions. Potions are spray bottles filled with medicinal fluid. If your Pokémon is hurt and you are far out on the open road, spraying it with this will heal its wounds in a short time. But Potions and other healing sprays are no substitute for a Pokémon Center.”

“What is a Pokémon Center?” Azelf asked.

“A Pokémon Center is essentially a hospital for Pokémon. They will heal the wounds of your Pokémon for no charge. They deal with anything from small cuts to big bruises. And at every center is stationed a friendly nurse who will attend to your Pokémon. There is one in most towns, so you need never fear of your Pokémon going days with a serious injury.”

“That’s encouraging to know,” Palkia finally said.

“Yes. Now, as my parting gift, all of you take three Potions and six Poké Balls with you on your journey. Should you ever run out, there are marts in most major towns who will supply you with your shopping needs. Lastly, you may carry no more than six Pokémon with you at a time. If you catch any additional ones, they are instantly warped to the Pokémon Storage Center. That may sound like a dreary place, but it’s almost like a big garden, only with a computer to exchange Pokémon to the trainers who need them. The system can be accessed from any Pokémon Center, and is accessed by the computer. My friend runs the Storage Center, so you need not worry about your Pokémon being neglected. Now, do any of you have any questions?”

Mesprit raised her hand. “What kind of Pokémon do the Gym Leaders use?” she asked.

“Each Gym Leader focuses on a separate theme, and their Pokémon not only match that theme, but are also strong. Be wary when you fight them.”

Azelf raised his hand next. “What if we get lost, or don’t know where to go?”

“They supply maps in the Globe City Registration Building.”

Dialga asked the next question. “Speaking of which, where is the Registration Building?”

“I’ll escort you there once we disembark. It is the large building with a large globe sculpture atop it.”

Palkia asked the last question. “When will we see you again?”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure we shall meet each other soon in the future.”

Everyone’s minds were at last put at rest. Now that the tutorial was over, the five set their sites toward the horizon.

“I wonder what kind of place the world will be like,” Palkia wondered.

“For one thing, it’ll be big,” Azelf replied. “Much bigger than the small village where we were born.”

“I lived in a small village as well. It was very peaceful there.”

“Most likely, Globe City will be a bustling place,” Dialga interjected. “My guess is that many trainers register here every day, and since Guardian and Cedar can’t be in multiple places at once, there are others who take trainers on boats here.”

“That’s right,” Guardian answered. “Just be lucky you got the good teacher.” He nudged Dialga’s arm in jest. Dialga got the joke and nudged back.

“Brother! Brother!” Mesprit exclaimed. “I see it! I see it! Over there!” She pointed to an ever-expanding shape far off.

“Yep, that’s Globe City all right,” Guardian replied. “See the Registration Building there?” He pointed to a very large and tall building. Even from far off, the Globe sculpture could be seen from far off. It was even spinning like the very Earth itself.

“That thing is huge,” Azelf stated. “It’s probably large from your point of view as well. Why did they make it like that?”

“The Globe there is actually the Registration Center’s network hub, Azelf. The other hub at the Pokémon League is mounted on the door and is shaped like a large Poké Ball, although it’s not nearly as large as the Globe, as the Globe is technically the world headquarters for trainers. The Pokémon League’s network is a backup copy in case the Globe goes awry, and the Globe is in case the Ball goes awry.”

“What if they both go awry? What happens then?” Dialga asked.

“There is actually a third network hub in an undisclosed location. Only a few people in the world know where it is. It is guaranteed to never malfunction. But for now, let’s head to the building once we land.”

As they got closer, they noticed that the Registration Center was a building with one-way glass windows, as they couldn’t see anything inside. On the ground, people were bustling around everywhere, wanting to either shop at the mart, get their Pokémon ready for the road, or just register to become a trainer.

“Now, when we land, it is crucial that you follow me and we don’t get separated. You can watch me closely, hold my hand, or whatever…Just make sure you don’t get lost.”

“I have an idea,” Azelf said. “Guardian, do you have a backpack with a large pocket?”

“Yes, I do. Let me get it.” Guardian dashed below deck and returned with the backpack. It was a stunning black color. “Now, Azelf, as you were saying?”

“Sure. Since Mesprit and I are rather small, and quite liable to get lost in a crowd, we could hide inside the backpack while Dialga and Palkia hold your hands. This way, Dialga and Palkia will always be by your side, and we’ll be safe from any harm inside the pack.”

“I like the idea,” Guardian replied. “There’s a small zipper in the pocket which you can use to look outside. Now let’s put this plan into action; we’ve arrived in Globe City.”

I had to cut this chapter right here off onto the next one, as it was becoming too long for my own good. Plus, it deserved a break from the idea in favor of making a new chapter for the new idea. And I couldn't think of anything other than a backpack, or the outrageously high and low numbers. I had to make it sound at least reasonable.

I had to cut this chapter right here off onto the next one, as it was becoming too long for my own good. Plus, it deserved a break from the idea in favor of making a new chapter for the new idea.

That has happened to me lots quite frecuently by now, that's why the idea of making a 1.5 mini-sequel full of chronicles sprouted in my head (just to see that Obs did it as well... kinda) but you don't need it right now, I think you won't even need to scramble your story that much, the plot is interesting by itself.

Also, your explanations about how the Pokéballs, Potions and the Trainers Network-thing work actually make sence! You wrote it very well and neat.

Come to think of it... I'm finding all these kids, named after Legendary Pokemon, a somewhat good idea. But, how many Legend-named kids are you going to include? @3@;!

I hope next installment comes soon, my story wants to be like yours too when it grows up! XD

_________________

AABM's

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Fri Jan 04, 2008 12:15 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

Quote:

That has happened to me lots quite frecuently by now, that's why the idea of making a 1.5 mini-sequel full of chronicles sprouted in my head (just to see that Obs did it as well... kinda) but you don't need it right now, I think you won't even need to scramble your story that much, the plot is interesting by itself.

Where this story is going, I don't think it'll need a substory just yet.

Man, they're cool! I usually don't like reading about that much detail, but the detail itself is interesting, and I rather enjoyed those two chappies!

Chapter I missed: I like the way the contrast was brought forward in so many ways between Dialga and Palkia; the fact that Palkia opened it while Dialga threw the ball emphasised to me how Palkia is more reserved and worried for her Poke, while Dialga is more ambitious, etc. Pretty cool.

Previous Chapter: The question that was burning in my head; BUT WHERE IS UXIE!? The fact that Dialga + Palkia were siblings, surely Uxie would be a relative to Azelf and Mespirit? That was my thought anyway, but I don't know what you plan to do regarding that aspect.

I also liked the idea of the Globe and the Ball; I'm seeing some kind of plot regarding the two of them getting attacked simultaneously, opening the way for a rather cool action setting. But again, one can never tell where the plot will be taken by the author. All I know is that you're a good enough one for me to be reassured that I'll be pleased wherever this story goes.

Keep it up, more, I say, more!!!

_________________

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."

Fri Jan 04, 2008 3:10 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

Quote:

Chapter I missed: I like the way the contrast was brought forward in so many ways between Dialga and Palkia; the fact that Palkia opened it while Dialga threw the ball emphasised to me how Palkia is more reserved and worried for her Poke, while Dialga is more ambitious, etc. Pretty cool.

Dialga in that respect is a lot like myself, and Palkia is his opposite. I didn't want to make them similar, as that would be far too boring.

Quote:

Previous Chapter: The question that was burning in my head; BUT WHERE IS UXIE!? The fact that Dialga + Palkia were siblings, surely Uxie would be a relative to Azelf and Mespirit? That was my thought anyway, but I don't know what you plan to do regarding that aspect.

Oh, you'll see.

Quote:

I also liked the idea of the Globe and the Ball; I'm seeing some kind of plot regarding the two of them getting attacked simultaneously, opening the way for a rather cool action setting. But again, one can never tell where the plot will be taken by the author. All I know is that you're a good enough one for me to be reassured that I'll be pleased wherever this story goes.

You just gave me an excellent idea for a plot twist. A very intriguing exciting plot twist.

Quote:

Keep it up, more, I say, more!!!

You saying that makes all the difference, my friend.

Next chapter should be in a couple days. (Even though it's already written, I want to allow for more time.)

As promised, I shall bring the next installment. Writing this, I can't believe how many pages I burned up doing this.

Quote:

-----
6

Globe City was unlike anything in the world. The city was huge, with houses, buildings, and shops of all kinds dotting the many streets. But most of the people in the city were crowded in the center, for there was the Registration Center. Dialga and Palkia each took one of Guardian’s hands and the five advanced. Cedar had already left them, saying he had to help another new trainer.

The Registration Center was much bigger in person. The building appeared to be at least twenty stories high, with so many trainers, both young and middle-aged, trying to get in so they could officially begin their career. The line for registration extended out into the streets.

“So many people are lining up,” Azelf remarked through the zipper.

“Are we going to have to wait that long just to become trainers?” Palkia asked. “At this rate, we may have to wait until evening!”

“Don’t worry,” Guardian answered. “Many of these trainers have gone to a trainer school to have a teacher instruct them about the various aspects of Pokémon. Usually, the teachers instruct more than is required, but they are not licensed recruiters however. But most of the people here…they have no real knowledge of Pokémon whatsoever, so they have to take a ten-minute beginner’s course after they get to the front desk.”

They all entered the building together, trying to squeeze past the crowd. Guardian continued to tell about the building while the other four listened intently. No one else paid much attention to them; they were too busy waiting in line in dire anticipation.

“The registration here is divided into four groups. The first floor here is for those who are somewhat impatient and inept. For the most part, they want to become trainers because someone they know is a trainer, or they think trainers are ‘cool’, and want to join in on the fun.”

They came over to another section of the front desk, leading to behind the counter, where a security guard was at the passage. Guardian took out an ID card and showed it to the guard, who after verifying the ID said to Guardian and the two children, “Go right on in,” and stepped aside.

“However, some of these inexperienced trainers have actually managed to catch a Pokémon themselves. If this is the case, they will show their Pokémon in a Poké Ball to another security guard by the elevators at the entrance…” He turned himself around for Mesprit and Azelf, and pointed to the wall near the entrance, where there were five elevators, each one assigned a security guard escort, who would take said trainer to an upper floor. Guardian turned around again and continued walking and explaining.

“…and will be escorted to the second floor. However, there still are quite a lot of trainers who manage that feat, most of which are like those on the first floor who know next to nothing about Pokémon, and they have to take the ten-minute course as well. Since quite a few rookies catch their own Pokémon, those going to the second floor are usually taken five or even as much as ten at once, but because of this there was a stairway built next to the elevator. This caused so much inconvenience, and when it was finally finished trainers came pouring in.”

“You mean like this?” Palkia asked.

“Pssh, not even close. Usually we have a lot more people here. There were at least three times as many people than normal that day. Don’t try and think about it. Anyway, as I said before some trainers go to a trainer school. It covers pretty much all of the bases of being a trainer. It’s a very good curriculum there. They will show their proof of completing the course, usually in the form of a diploma, and the escorts will take them to the third floor.”

“Guardian,” asked Mesprit. “How far will we be walking on this floor?”

Dialga and Palkia rushed inside the elevator. Guardian pushed the button for the doors to close, and then produced a card key. He fitted it into a slot on the elevator’s control panel, and all the buttons on the panel lit up with a yellow light. There were the standard ‘Door Open’, ‘Door Close’, and ‘Emergency’ buttons, and there were also numbered buttons, from 1 to 16, one for each floor. Guardian pressed the button marked ‘5’, whose light changed from yellow to red, and the elevator began to ascend. He then hauled Mesprit and Azelf out of the backpack, now that the coast was clear, and was about to continue talking until Mesprit told her brother something.

“Wait, brother! We have to wear our charms!” she told him.

“Oh yes,” replied Azelf, and the twins each took out a necklace tipped with a teardrop-shaped blood-red gem. After they did this, Guardian continued again.

“There are also those who take the trainer school course and catch a Pokémon themselves. Very few of these trainers exist, but it shows that they have used their knowledge to catch their own Pokémon. They are taken to the fourth floor.”

“So let me guess,” Dialga posed a question. “Since we were taught by a licensed recruiter, and even so the best one of the lot, we get taken straight to the fifth floor?”

“Right again,” Guardian answered.

“But I must ask,” Dialga continued, “what makes us so special that we get priority over those who catch their own Pokémon, or those who graduate trainer school, or those who do both?”

“Because, my friends, those taught by licensed recruiters have the most important quality of all for a trainer.”

“I know!” Mesprit exclaimed. “It’s heart!”

“That’s right. You all have heart. The rookies just do it mostly because it’s something new for them to do, and they think it’s cool – which, for the most part, it is. Those in trainer school may have the smarts, but they spend most of their time locked up in a classroom or bedroom, studying practically non-stop. People like me know of those who are kind toward all, and know that they are the few who can connect with Pokémon on an emotional level. That bond with a trainer is the strongest of all – a bond that can never be broken. That, my friends, is what makes you better than the others.”

As he finished this, the elevator made a resounding ‘ding’, signifying that they were at that destination.

“Ah, just in time,” Guardian remarked. “I’ve just finished up talking, and here we are.”

The elevator doors opened up into a luxurious foyer. In fact, it almost looked like a business complex from this side. There was still that new-carpet smell lingering in the air, testifying of how well the place was kept up.

“So, how many new trainers are you visiting today, Guardian?” Dialga inquired.

“Oh, just the four of you,” Guardian answered. “Thankfully, my day isn’t so busy today.”

Guardian led them through a corridor of sorts until they came to a desk manned by a female clerk, who greeted Guardian warmly.

“Guardian!” she exclaimed. “How nice to see you!”

“You as well, Vanessa,” he replied with an almost nonchalant tone. “These four trainers wish to register themselves.”

“Sure thing. All of you fill out one of these…” She passed four forms across the counter. The forms only asked for simple information, like name, age, DOB, and hometown. It only took about a minute each for the four new trainers to finish, and after they were done they were passed across the counter again back to the clerk. As Vanessa entered the names into the computer, Guardian excused himself saying that he had to attend to something, and would return shortly.

“When I enter your names,” said Vanessa to Dialga and friends, “the information is sent to the Globe on top of the building, and then copied and sent to the other hubs as backup data. From there, we keep track of all your progress. Now, if you will excuse me, I must also take a photograph of each of you. Follow me.”

Vanessa led the four into another room, where each was to sit on a chair with a gray screen behind it, and have their photos taken in turn. She said “Cheese!” every time just prior to taking a picture, and the four young ones produced flawless smiling photos. Next, Vanessa asked the trainers to follow her back to the main desk, and scanned the pictures into the computer as well.

As she finished inputting the information, there came the noise of a printer printing several documents, but the noise only lasted for a few seconds.

“Ah, your Trainer Cards are ready,” she said in response to the ceasing of the printer.

“Well, fun is always in the eye of the beholder,” he responded, “but I ensure you will like these quite a bit.” He produced four laminated orange cards, and each had a trainer’s name and that trainer’s picture. Each took their respective cards and admired them.

“The wonders of technology never cease to amaze me,” remarked Azelf.

“I’m surprised one as tactical as you is ever surprised,” returned Guardian. “These are your Trainer Cards, your personal IDs. You will take these with you wherever you go; it signifies that you are an official registered trainer with the Pokémon League. Your badges and other accolades will be placed upon this card, with the badges on the front, and the other accolades on the back. Oh, that reminds me…Vanessa, how’s Dexter doing?”

“Fit as a whistle,” Vanessa responded. “I’m surprised with all those devices he makes he hasn’t gone crazy.”

“Devices?” asked Palkia. “What are these devices?”

“Special devices…” replied Guardian. “I’ll be right back.”

He excused himself again and quickly returned with four square-shaped devices. They looked almost like little flat boxes with various colored buttons, and they opened up to reveal a screen and even more buttons.

“What is this thing?” Dialga inquired.

“Here, we call it a Pokédex,” Guardian explained, “as it was invented by our technical expert, Dexter, hence the name. It’s used for the cataloging of Pokémon. All the data of all the Pokémon in the world is recorded inside it, and all that’s left for you to do is to find the Pokémon out yourself. And now…”

“Yes?” Mesprit asked, eager with anticipation.

“That concludes this tutorial. You are now official trainers. From this day forth, you shall roam the world, in search of Pokémon, learning about them, challenging the Gym Leaders, reaching the Pokémon League, and ultimately, becoming the best trainer of all.”

“So this is goodbye?” Palkia asked.

“For now, yes,” responded Guardian. “But I know that we will meet again in the future, somewhere. I will show you out.”

Guardian, happy that he’d trained another four trainers that day, showed them all the way out, through a secret passageway away from the crowds and out into a small building on the outskirts of town.

“We do this to prevent jealousy,” Guardian stated. “If you all went out the main entrance with your cards, all the other newcomers would get jealous too. The trainer school graduates come out of a different building than this.”

“Come, brother!” Mesprit exclaimed. “Let’s begin our adventure!” She ran down the path that led out of town.

“Farewell, friends,” Azelf remarked. “May we meet again. Wait up for me, sister!” He began running after his more enthusiastic twin.”

“Guess we’d better be going as well,” Dialga said. “Thank you very much for all you have done for us, Guardian.”

“No problem,” he answered. “If you run into the twins, send them my respects also. And take these maps with you.”

Dialga and Palkia bowed their heads and walked down the path to the north, following the twins. When Guardian noticed that they had all dropped out of sight, he closed the door to the secret building and said:

“Yes, we’ll meet again, my friends. But not in the way you would all expect…”

I put down everything I could remember that was on a standard Trainer Card. If I forgot anything I may go crazy.
I think the heavy, overdosed detail might stop here, for the most part. Either way, just keep reading and enjoy.

I first thought to post when the actual plot started, but then I thought that I didn't know when would it happen, so I rathered to post now.

I'm liking all these details you're adding, they are really neat and polish a lot the growing story, not to mention that it's actually really well written, and it looks fine to me, the picture that is formed in my mind looks clear... but if I might give you an advice, do not overload your story with details, they might kill it.

All in all, I think this last installment was strategically placed before something would actually happen, or it's just me.

On a side note, when I finished reading this installment, I got the writting bug myself and produced next installment for my story thank you DNA!

*Watches this topic for replies*

_________________

AABM's

"Team Seekers"

"I'm perhaps the least typical Ledian user you'll ever get to see in the whole OU" - AABM.

· Say, Orange looks better than gray, doesn't it?

Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:01 pm

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

The detail I'm using is kinda evening itself out now. I haven't been using nearly enough detail in the future chapters I'm writing (in fact, I think these first six have more detail than the rest of the current story combined), so I'm trying to be mellow, but not too mellow.
I'll be gradually building up suspense from Guardian's strange attitude when the others are all out of earshot, and that will eventually culminate in...something. What it is I can't tell you yet.
I've started to read your story as well; it's incredibly well-written! You give me inspiration as well, so it's almost like a cycle.

Another nice update, loads of detail (which I enjoy) and like AABM, I also get the feeling something is about to happen, though I don't know what. I like the fact that the Dex maker was called Dexter, though I'm sure Oak invented the dex...

I don't know if I missed it, but what Pokemon do Azelf and Mespirit have? I can't remember, and I'm not sure if it was said...

Anyway, good chapter, I'm looking forward to the next one, and I'm hoping for a battle.

~Obs.

_________________

"Play with fire and expect to be burned."

Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:08 am

DNA

Trivia Champion

Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2007 5:37 pmPosts: 3170Location: clegavel

The Obsidian Wolf wrote:

Another nice update, loads of detail (which I enjoy) and like AABM, I also get the feeling something is about to happen, though I don't know what. I like the fact that the Dex maker was called Dexter, though I'm sure Oak invented the dex...The original Pokedex was a project first proposed by Guardian, and brought to fruition by Dexter, a technical wizard. It would contain the files of all the Pokemon ever cataloged, and detailed information on much much more. Guardian's design is slightly different than Oak's, however.

I don't know if I missed it, but what Pokemon do Azelf and Mespirit have? I can't remember, and I'm not sure if it was said... I haven't said it yet. That fact shall be revealed in due time.

Anyway, good chapter, I'm looking forward to the next one, and I'm hoping for a battle. Your wish might be granted in a few days.

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