Ohio State Football Pulls Through In Spite of Scandal

If you're a Buckeyes fan, you're no doubt breathing a huge sigh of relief right about now: Ohio Statemanaged to beat Toledo 27-22 today, even without 7 suspended players (more on that later). Phew! Considering the Buckeyes haven't lost to another Ohio team since 1921, it really would've been kind of a downer if Toledo won this game (well, not if you're from Toledo, but you know what I mean).

I have to admit I'm not all that well-versed in football ... um, San Dimas High School Football rules! (From Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, remember? Oh, never mind.)

Anyway, there's enough drama and tension in this story to rope even sports-ignorant me right in.

Back to those 7 suspended players! At first I assumed these guys got in trouble for some kind of steroid-related scandal or something involving hookers. But no! What they did was soooo lame ...

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Apparently, 3 of the players violated NCAA rules by taking $200 at a charity event in Cleveland this year. 200 bucks? Was it even worth the effort, fellas? The remaining 4 players allegedly traded valuable memorabilia in exchange for thousands of dollars in cash and "discounted tattoos."

Really?

Seems like a pretty small prize to risk your entire career. Like I said, what I know about football could fit into a shot glass (oh hell, who am I kidding -- a thimble!), but I'm guessing college football players aren't like, living below poverty level. It strikes me as odd that they can't pay full-price at the tattoo parlor. (They didn't even get free tattoos ... just discounted! Ahahahaha!)

It makes me wonder if maybe the suspended players weren't suffering from a collective case of "Look at these strings! Let's pull 'em!" If you're not familiar, this condition commonly afflicts people who have just had their first taste of big-time success. The world is my oyster ... let me clumsily stomp upon it until it breaks!!! Uh-oh.

In all seriousness, these kids could be throwing away an amazing opportunity, and I hope they get their heads on straight before it's too late.