When you watch a movie or television show, you are being drawn into someone else’s life. The fantasy that is created by media moguls becomes a temporary distraction from your own life. Ask yourself how many hours a week you spend in this fantasy world. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American, over the age of 15, spends 2.7 hours a day watching TV – that’s almost 20 hours a week, or a part-time job.

What would be great, is if we could each spend that amount of time observing our selves in action, with the purpose of objectively reflecting on all of our interactions. In the same way that we tend to ponder about the decisions of one of our TV friends, we could ponder over our own decisions – but objectively. This process of stepping outside of yourself to look at yourself can provide you with amazing insight.

This is easier done when you are in relative quietness, perhaps when you are meditating. Watching your own movie should really be more fascinating than watching someone else’s movie, because in your movie, you can find the keys to your thinking and learn what needs to be adjusted.

The movies in your mind have more significance to your future than those advertised by mass media. Attend your own screening and do your own review.

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Believe it or not there was a couple having a serious verbal marital disagreement right in a subway car, on the way to work, in front of whoever was in earshot. Apparently the wife was taking the husband to task for …

Nope! I’m not telling because this would be gossiping.

What I can tell you is both of them were defending their right to be right, and neither had any consideration for the other, which was immediately evident in their very graphic and sometimes animated discussion in a closed public environment.

How was this couple in communication breakdown?

They talked over each other

Accusations were flying

Past issues came up

The point of the conflict kept changing

No one accepted responsibility

Both were in defense mode

Both were stuck in their own way of thinking

Neither party was really listening to the other

There were ultimatums and dares

There were insults

There was absolutely NO acknowledgment of feelings

There was anger and heated responses

There were raised voices

I’m sure you’ve heard conversations like that before – perhaps even have been in a few yourself. You don’t need me to tell you that that type of communication does not work.

So what does?

Check out this short video. (Just ignore the first 24 seconds and end at 1:52, as this is by no means an endorsement. It’s just has some really good content in an interesting and short video clip).

The death of a relationship begins with the birth of communication breakdown. Learn the basics.

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I have been looking for my hand cream for the last 2 days. It wasn’t in its usual places and I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out where it was. I was almost beginning to think that it fell out of my purse and I would need to get another one.

Last night, somewhere between drifting and dreaming, I was directed to look in the back crevice of the couch. In the morning, I remembered this direction and I went straight to the spot. I was correct on the first try. Two seconds from thought to action, and there it was. I had no doubt.

Many things like that happen for each of us. I find that the more I accept that I have access, the more access I have.

I also learned that I get to call a spade a spade. I put my ego aside and give credit to Spirit for my insight and accomplishments. No denial for me. Spirit directs me everyday.

One last thing. Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine and she shared this quote with me: “Divine order works in my life”.

Spirit is alive in you. Be ready and willing to receive it, hear it, acknowledge it and act on it.

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Remember when we were children? A grownup told us what to do and when to do it and presented us with consequences if we did not follow suit. A few years passed and then almost magically we became adults ourselves.

If you can remember back to the moment you realized you were an adult and did not need your parents permission or “management”, you will also remember what an AHA moment that was for you. Perhaps mixed with joy and pride; fear and uncertainty; and/or vision and overwhelm. The reality was you were in charge of your life. You were all grown up.

As a child, you were accountable to your parent(s). As an adult – well – you are accountable to yourself – first. When partner and children come into the picture, things change slighty. But the truth remains – you must be able to say what you are going to do, and actually do it. If you don’t, there will be consequences.

Some adults, it seems, forget that they are adults and therefore act like children. It would then be useful for them to remember their ‘inner grownup’ so that they can get the necessary job done.

Being accountable to yourself first, builds your inner grownup. Do it because YOU said so.

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I had a moment last week when I acknowledged my fear of the unknown to another. Even as I said it, I felt ridiculous without exactly understanding why. Later on that day, I realized that I was projecting into the future – which is really where the unknown is. Along with that realization was my notice that for me to be fearful of the unknown, I obviously wasn’t living in the present.

The present is the here and now. It is what I know now, therefore it is not unknown to me, hence there is nothing to be afraid of.

Another juvenile thought discarded and replaced with enlightenment. Ommmmmm.

There are no unknowns in the present, therefore there is nothing to be afraid of. Keep moving forward one step at a time.

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So you get up the same time every day; you walk out the door at a predictable time; you arrive at your destination before schedule; and you encounter people along the way that can tell time by your presence. Your routine is solid.

This routine can save you lots of time and stress, and believe it or not, it prepares you for future flexibility in recreating a new structure.

Your routine tells you how long it takes you to get ready, get set and go. Your routine shows you how to manage unplanned scenarios. Your routine teaches you the importance of time and limitations. Your routine impacts others.

Keep doing what you do and look toward the inevitability of eminent flexibility, where you can experiment with another kind of routine.

Settling into a routine is a great way to create the structure needed for many a productive day. Don’t let yourself get sidetracked.

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Consideration is defined as ‘thoughtful concern for others’. It simply makes my day when I see this in action. Unfortunately I see more to the contrary on a daily basis. I’m not sure why, but it seems people have changed. Not everyone, but a lot.

I was raised to think about others. (Actually it was to think about others before I think about myself, but that’s another story). Thinking about others put me in service to them and made them feel good.

Some of you might be wondering why be ‘of service’ to anyone. Well, not only is it a good thing to do, it also builds good karma – simply put, it’s a matter of reaping what you sow. It also builds good character. The concept is, if you do good, good will be done to you.

Now, if you are going to do good, it’s a good idea to do it from your heart with full meaning and intention and not just because you are supposed to. But doing it because you are supposed to is not all bad either. In fact it’s a good start to displaying consideration.

Basically think about how you would like to be treated.

It’s nice:

to be talked to instead of at

to be talked to, not yelled at

to have a seat made available in a subway car and/or bus

to be able to sit with your friend in a subway car (instead of one person away)

to have the door held for you by the person in front of you

to not hear another’s angry conversation on the phone

to be asked if you want the last piece of pie (before a family member eats it)

to be able to sleep through the night without being interrupted by a cars over-loud speakers

to not have people gossip about you

to not be called out about something you did ‘wrong’ in public

to not be the object of incorrect assumption

to not have to clean up a neighbors dog’s doodoo from in front of your house

Consideration for another is the least that you can do. It makes for a smoother existence. Have some today, why don’t you.

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Let’s face it. Most of us ‘big city dwellers’ do way too much in a given day. On top of that, we try to fit more in, as if that is even possible – or sensible.

At the same time, stress related ailments permeate our communities. My question to you is – ‘Is it all worth it?’ Do you really want to wind up in somebody’s hospital with an irreversible illness simply because you decided 5, 10, 15 years ago to ‘do it all’?

Another way to look at expecting to do it all is to look at your results at the end of the day and ask yourself did you do everything to the absolute best of your ability. Chances are something lacked somewhere and you are probably beating yourself up about it.

Don’t do it. You don’t have to be overwhelmed. You don’t have to make yourself ill. And you don’t have to beat yourself up.

Of all the things you feel you need to get done today, only commit to doing the one or two things that are the most important and/ or urgent. Be not overwhelmed.

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Faith is your passport to travel to unknown events in your life. Don’t live your life without it. You won’t get very far.

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Faith will ease your mind when you can’t see, help you see with internal clarity and get you through any rough patch. Let faith be your compass.

This quote is actually a lesson derived from a dream I had last night. In the dream, I saw an image of something over me as I was sleeping, but could not make it out. My first instinct was to panic, but my logical self reminded me it couldn’t be anything but my imagination. In my dream, I had myself focus on positive thoughts which allowed that scary moment to pass into my well being.

Based on my previous dreams, in a less evolved state, I would have panicked and the dream would have turned into a nightmare. I felt threatened by something intangible. It might have been some hidden ‘character’ or a figment of my imagination. Mimicking real life, but far more efficiently, I decided to ignore the fear by replacing it with positive thoughts. My positive thoughts spoke to my faith which created a thankfully uneventful scenario.

There have been way to many events in both my real life and my dream life where I let fear take me out. The fact that I was able to stay focused in my dream is very promising for my real life.

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