Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 23

Last Week's Results

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Week 15- PREVIEW

Thu, Jul 31, 2014

This Sunday marks the home stretch of regular season play and the beginning of August, so if you haven’t hooked up with that cute girl on your team yet…she’s just not into you, dude. August is apparently also “National Admit You’re Happy Month”. We’re not really sure how happy anyone will be if it actually rains this Sunday, but since we covered the weather in last week’s preview (can you tell it’s week 15), you’ll definitely admit you’re happy after reading our write-ups…unless we’ve accidentally offended you…again.

11am

Field #1: AT United vs. Soft Spot (WSL Superfan)

Ladies and gents, if you’re into .500 slow pitch softball, then this is the match-up you should sober up for. Both AT and Soft Spot are a run-of-the-mill 7-7, but each had very different games last week.

Soft Spot crushed the Turkey’s Teachers 21-6 and AT United, current leaders of the Group Of Meh, underwhelmed Good Co., 10-6 for their second loss in a row. Seems like the only thing uniting AT this year is mediocrity, amirite guys????

Soft Spot, on the other hand, are getting hot at the right time. They’ve won four in a row and will need another ‘W’ if they want to keep hold off their potential first round playoff opponent, Pete’s Candy store.

But I can’t root against AT (no coincidence they’re not called the All-Stars this year). If they bring the beer, then this WSL Superfan will bring the cheer.

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Stache)

Bring your goggles, Stache!

After the 2013 season, merely thinking about Pete’s Candy Store now brings on an ill feeling in the pit of my stomach. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with a marathon, candy-binge session. It has everything to do with mud in my eye. No, we didn’t toast to our health before the game. I actually got mud in my eye while playing Pete’s last year! Dammit!

As division rivals, 3 Kings faced off twice against PCS last season. The first of which was played in a torrential, spring downpour on a puddle infested field, affectionately named MudBowl 2013. It was the ultimate exercise in fun and futility. There were a number of us that took every opportunity to do our best Rick Dempsey impersonations on that day.

I know I spent the next week trying to clean McCarren Park dirt out of my right ear, after a head first effort into home. Pete’s emerged victorious in that one, 17-16, and later added an 11-10 win to sweep the season series.

3Ks will definitely be looking to avenge those paltry defeats this weekend. However, I am certain PCS is up to the task. Forecast on Sunday calls for a 50% chance of rain. You ready for a soggy rematch, Captain Blue Clues?

1pm

Field #1: Gibson vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

The Reelers are in desperate need of a little “redempsh” after getting pecked down by the Nesters. If it were any other year, I’d say we’ll get it with The Gibson, but their record doesn’t indicate how potentially upset we could be come 3pm.

Last season we beat the Gibson by 3 runs. 3 RUNS! And this season they’ve been playing better while we’ve been playing worse.

Working in our favor this week is the return of veteran Reelers Mark and Jake. Both have been out for much of the season due to injury and living out of state respectively. And if we can actually go one week without someone getting majorly injured, then my above worries will be all for naught.

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Spike Hill (Stryker)

“I am Brooklyn Breezey. And I see a whole army of my Clemericans, here in defiance of tyranny! You have come to play as free men. And free men you are! What will you do without freedom? Will you play?!”

“Against Spike Hill?!? No! We will run and live!!”

“Yes”,Breeze shouted back. “Play and you may die. Run and you will live at least a while. And dying in your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for just one chance, just one chance, to come back here as young men and tell O’Malley that his team may take our colors but they will never take our BATTLESHIPPPP!!!!”

3pm

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stryker)

“PLEASE LET ME IN YOUR GROUP!”

Tough match-up for the 86ers this week in the 3 slot. The Nest has seemed to bounce back from their two hard fought losses against the leagues top 2 teams and are coming off a nice win vs. the Reel World. Crown Vic was missing a few key players last week and will surely need all hands on deck for this one. Hopefully the Mayor will take a timeout from the campaign trail to rally his contingency.

The Boys of Summer seem to be very relaxed and in cruise control after bringin’ it back to their glory days last week. I hope I see them drinking Silver Bullets out of Capri Sun pouches this week. Speaking of the Boys of Summer, I’m in the middle of pledging to get into the club and I’ve been working really hard to get Jake, JL, Shafer, and Mitch’s approval. I think I may have moved myself a little bit closer this past weekend, as I went back to my own glory days and hit the skatin’ rink. Now I’m not talkin’ ice, I’m talkin’ roller and none of that inline bullshit, just pure ankle cuttin’, 4 wheelin’, stopper in the front, electric slide skeetin’. I gotta tell ya, I looked like a pro out there and skated like one. Workin’ on my crossover turns, bunny hoppin’, even a little pause pitchin’. It was truly majestic.

The only thing that sucked was all the rookie skaters out there. There was literally at least two people on the ground at all times, really had to keep my head on a swivel. I saw an eight person pileup that took the safety team 4 laps to clear up. On the bottom of the pile? An unconscious 8 year old, kicked in the head with a skate. I Can’t wait to go back. Maybe the Boys will join me this time?

Mitch had to pledge looking like this.

Field #2: Brooklyn Bowl vs. R Bar (Stache)

It’s no surprise that all the double-digit win teams this year in the WSL have held opponents to less than 135 runs through 14 games. League average is almost 172 runs allowed over that time frame, so I suppose one might assume that defense matters in softball? Wait…what did I just say?

Coming off a huge statement win against the defending champs, Brooklyn Bowl dropped 20 runs last Sunday for the first time in 2014. After showcasing a league-leading defense all season, that show of force at the plate might spell disaster for other championship contenders come playoff time. In the other dugout on Sunday will be R Bar, who hold the best record in the league to date. The Bums are riding a 7 game winning streak, but the gaudy offensive numbers have slowed down in recent weeks. Can the bats rise to the occasion once again in this battle with the Bowl? This is definitely the game to watch on Sunday, so bring a lawn chair and prepare to be dazzled!

5pm

Field#1: Loggers vs. Black Betty (Shortz)

My apologies in advance to the awesomeness that is Black Betty, but my money is on The Loggers this week. Yes, they probably have never beaten you guys, (have they? First one to answer correctly in the comments gets a frosty beer). And yes, they only seem to have 1 win for every 6 losses. But if Reel2Reel is in jeopardy of losing to the Gibson this week…

YOU’RE.

COMING.

WITH.

And now…an open letter to Black Betty (from Not Shortz):

Dearest Betty,

Your impending opponents have a lot of confidence going into this game, fired up on their recent win and loss of Mike Saris. I’m not even going to commemorate his departure from the league with yet another Mark Sanchez Butt Fumble gif because it could be YOU who may soon don the name “Mark Sanchez and the Butt Fumbles”.

I can see it now- hard grounder hit between SS and 3rd base; as Peralta readies himself for a routine play, Holland crashes into his – you guessed it – butt, attempting to make a sick grab. Tony jumps over the two men, now crumpled in a heap, scores the winning run and passes the butt fumble torch to you.

Of course, I can say all of this because I am just an unknown voice in cyber-land. An Internet troll, hiding behind my computer in my parents’ basement wearing a tattered robe.

Signed,

Not Shortz

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Good Company (WSL Superfan)

Turkey’s Teachers, I love you guys! I see the great camaraderie on your bench. I love Turkey and I love teachers (especially substitutes)!

But please- make sure to write down your emergency contact info and leave it with the Commish before the game–because I have a feeling this game against Good Company could get ugly.

I’m not saying Turkey’s Teachers can’t score against Good Company. Of course they can… it’s just not gonna happen on the field. Hey, Good Company don’t call themselves a loose squad for nothing…

Look no offense, but I just don’t see a Buster Douglas situation happening here. I mean, definitely play the game, just…don’t get hurt. Hey, who said the WSL Superfan isn’t a Mom?