Posers of the Week

Kali Teachers. OOOPS! I Meant “Mga Guro”

These guys teach a “special kali program.” Do they look like kali teachers to you? Is anything they’re doing (as evident in the photo) even remotely connected to kali?

Let us say for the sake of argument that I cannot judge their kali skills from this picture. Let us also say that they have an outstanding kali program. How compatible would kali be with the rest of their curriculum?

This is the trend of “McDojos,” where clone schools that are little more than commercial child care centers have a babysitting program with a thin veneer of martial arts. Here in America, land of the “chimichanga,” pseudo-Spanish, the “tamale,” and “enchirito,” one is sold the martial arts equivalent, the “ninja butterfly knife,” “numbchucks,” “kali,” (because it’s so much cooler than eskrima), Filipino cat stances, etc.

These two have every symptom of the poser. The cat stance limits mobility. Yes, you can kick with that front foot, but a determined opponent is going to blast right through it. The arms are extended, and must be retracted to hit. The head is not protected. But who am I to talk? Look at all those stripes and patches.