Hipster chef becomes the casualty of Top Chef Texas Restaurant Wars

Restaurant wars is a constant from season to season of Top Chef. It’s one of the only challenges chefs can definitely expect to see and one that marks an anticipated make-or-break point in the competition.

But the parameters always vary, and you never know exactly how much the judges will pay attention to everything going on beyond their plate. During the first season, they had to consult with designers. During the sixth season, they didn’t even have to do any décor elements and just served in an existing restaurant space.

Sometimes, teams are slammed for stupid restaurant names, boring concepts and specific décor decisions (scented candles or ugly wall-hangings). Sometimes it’s all about the dynamics of how they run the kitchen and organize the service. Sometimes it gets to be only about the food.

For Texas restaurant wars, they went with battle of the sexes, with four guys and four girls left in the competition.

It wasn’t an easy one. They did have some hefty design responsibilities, including shopping at Sur La Table, opening boxes, throwing away bubble wrap and setting up a dining room. That was on top theme-ing and menu-planning and cooking.

The guys took over Pink Avocado in Austin to create their restaurant, Canteen. It was meant to be “a place where everybody comes together to eat.” I don’t get it? That’s what all restaurants are, right? How is that a concept?

They loosely based their menu on the idea of humble favorites done in fancy, quirky style. Well, some of them were like that.

Things started off well with Ed greeting and operating the front of the house, but there was a lot of fumbling between waiters and table numbers and tickets and expediting food. Here’s what they were eating:

The food was yummy, but not perfect. The judges would complain about missing a flavor, like mushrooms in Ty-Lor and Paul’s salmon (that’s because they forget them) or coconut in the Almond Joy cake. Still, the biggest issue was the service, which got distracting as the chefs came out of the kitchen to try to boss around Ed and the waiters. As Ty-Lor put it: “We f-ing shouldn’t have played ‘circle jerk expedite.’ We should have picked one person and stuck with it.”

On the girls’ side, the next night the girls transformed the Palm Door into their restaurant, Half Bushel. (I’m pretty sure it’s Palm Door. It is Austin after all. In other cities you could bet it was actually something like “Pomme D’Ore.”) When Lindsey suggested “bushel” and that “bushel” was a word that always meant a lot to her, I thought she was joking. They wanted to name the girls’ team on restaurant wars “bushel”? I guess half-wanted because they ended up with “Half Bushel.” It was homey and rustic, with candles and fake hay.

The girls’ team had a broader range of personalities to deal with. Sarah, eager to redeem herself after last week’s fainting and one who seems prone to taking charge, was all about telling people what to do. Beverly the meek, mild and possibly crazy was overpowered and bossed around by Sarah and Lindsey. Grayson stood her own in the middle. But it was dramaz, since Bev had to cook Lindsey’s food and for whatever reason, it ended up overcooked. There was much yelling in the Half Bushel kitchen, too, and much slower service. Here’s the menu:

There were some dishes that got lots of praise, like the great balance of Grayson’s salad, which paired peaches with bacon dressing, or the flavor punch in Bev’s shortrib. When it came time to compare apples to apples as they say, food to food, the girls’ was better.

We win! Now we don't hate each other! Except we do a little!

And despite Sarah and Lindsey’s dismissal of Bev, hers was the best. When she wins a trip to Napa vineyards, she says “I feel like I was justified FOR WHO I AM,” thus continuing the theme of her as the victim of some kitchen bullying.

It gets better.

For the boys, Paul and Ty-Lor clearly cooked the majority of the meal and both had to hear the nit-picking of their dishes. Ed did decently in the front of the house and with his dessert, so he wasn’t as big of an issue as Chris, who only made a dessert and it looked like this:

Seriously. That is the single thing he served.

AND HE’S STILL IN!

They nixed Ty-Lor. I am shocked. Goodbye mustache. Now Hugh’s eyebrow has no competition for craziest facial hair on the show.