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Saturday, November 29, 2008

I'm alive. Barely.

Well, as you can see by today's posts, I'm still in this world. I don't see how that is possible as shitty as I feel, but I am.I made it to work yesterday and signed up for an early out as soon as I walked into the office. In order for me to get paid for Thanksgiving I had to show up, but if they decided they had too many people for the work, they could let some leave and they would get paid. Seeing as I was the number one loader on the dock I figured there was a pretty good chance that I'd be able to slide out of there, so I signed up.I knew it would be a few hours before Management figured out the work load so I settled in for the long haul. By lunchtime I was starting to feel half-assed human again and was entertaining my friends by showing them that when I jumped up and down they could see my man titties bounce until I saw my boss headed my way so I had to cut that shit out and act sick again.It worked. He said that he'd let me go at 2:30. Now this was only 2 hours short of a full 10 hour shift but what the fuck, I'll take whatever I could get.When I hit the clock at 2:30 I could still breathe so I swung by the grocery store and did my weekly shopping before I went home. Suprisingly, I was actually feeling pretty damned good and was considering going fishing in the morning.About 2 AM I woke up gagging on my own bodily fluids and sliding off my mucus covered pillow. Uh-oh, this isn't good. I grabbed a handful of dollar-a-roll butt wipe (Real Men don't use tissues) and tried to blow my nose, but my nose was so jammed up the only thing I blew was a nasty ol' fart. Back pressure, ya know? I staggered into the bathroom and climbed into a hot shower trying to clear my sinuses but that didn't even work.I wandered into the kitchen after kicking the Evil Cats out of the way and turned on the coffee pot, feeling worse and worse every minute. Finally I said to hell with it and laid down on the couch (I needed something fresh to snot up) with a good book and Punkindog who was careful to stay out of sneezing range until I finally fell back asleep.About noontime Mom called and asked if I was feeling any better. When I told her that I was actually feeling worse, she asked what I was doing about it. When I told her that I had switched from Copenhagen Long Cut to Wintergreen Skoal to soothe my throat, I'd have sworn I could hear her muttering "Oh, you fucking dumbass ......" then she offered to bring me over some medication and soup. Right on, Mom.So, here I sit in bed with a bottle of Tylenol Cold Multi Symptom De-snotter, FloNase, a bottle of bourbon (medicinal of course) and a can of Wintergreen Skoal.But at least I got a free meal out of the deal. And who knows, maybe I can still go fishing tomorrow.......

2 comments:

Yeah, Mom's a sweetheart. Meaner than hell when she's pushed, though.Yes, thank you, I'm feeling a lot better now. It took a full weekend to kick that nasty cold but at least I breathe.Back to work bright and early tomorrow dammit.

About Me

Inspirations

"The Spartans do not inquire how many the enemy are, but where they are." AGIS II 427 B.C.

"No, no, I've got 'em right where I want 'em - surrounded from the inside." -- Mad Dog Shriver when told to break up his recon team and evade, that he was about to be overrun by North Vietnamese Regulars.

“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

"The policy of the American government is to leave their citizens free, neither restraining nor aiding them in their pursuits." - Thomas Jefferson

"The world don't owe you a living, Boy." - Pops

The American Patriot

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