A raw and brutally honest look at me - who I am, who I want to be, and how I am trying to get there. If you are easily offended, or have easily offended sensibilities, beware. This isn't the blog for you.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A Light In All The Darkness

Amid the shittyness which is currently my life - I can't breath, I'm coughing monstrously (including blood), I hurt everywhere and i cannot talk - among other stuff - I received the following message on my cell phone voicemail from non other than David last night!!! (I was sleeping cause my Dr. actually gave me something to knock me out since I haven't slept in like....oh I dunno 2 weeks) And yes, I HAVE memorized this message so this is word for word:

"Hey Cym. Just callin' to see how you're doing. You sounded so bad the last time we talked. I'm real worried. So feel better kiddo. You know I'd come visit but I'd have to break in to that fortress you call a house and sneak by your mother."( Laughs at his own joke.)

He stops, pauses, like he's done. Then: "You've been acting real strange since Florida. I hope everything is ok with you. And with us. I miss you Cym. Call me if you can. Otherwise...I'll call you soon."

Well, let's face it... you have one life to live. You can spend it in fear of being rejected or.. you can find out the truth. I see a few possibilities here:

a) David is into you, seriously, and then there's nothing to worry aboutb) David is not into you, but is a really good friend - in which case he'll find a way of being gentle about it, and hey, you never know what may happen in the future.c) David is a jerk, and then you should be happy to be rid of him. The last thing you need is someone who is pretending to be your friend, but is actually using you.d) David is just as confused as you are about what's going, in which case the two of you can work together to figure things out. :)