So I’m back at my parents’ house and will be so for the next five weeks. Before getting here I was afraid of the old dynamics playing themselves out again. I didn’t want that. I wanted my relationship to my parents to reflect the transformations that have been taking place in my life. I didn’t want to fall into the same response system once my buttons were pushed.

One good thing about me is that I’m aware of all my handicaps. That is not to say that I can change them instantly (at least not yet) but it’s to say that my behavior and reactions are pretty predictable.

So prior to getting on a plane, I thought of my reactions to certain things that my parents do or say and I said to myself:” I will react differently.”

I have only been here 24 hours but so far have managed to accomplish what I have set myself out to do. I’m vigilant with myself in order to be different.

I have a friend here in Rio de Janeiro, who’s been talking and complaining about the same things for over twenty years. I keep telling her to change but she says it’s too hard.

Yes, it’s hard but we can all change if we want. First we need to realize that something needs changing than pay attention not to use the automatic pilot and instead use manual control for our responses. Once we start doing that, the changes will start happening a little bit at a time and before we know who we wanted to be is the new us.

Change is fundamental to life. Without changes we are stuck. Even if sometimes changes cause us pain and anxiety, if we can move beyond the situation, we will be different people with something to say and share. I guess that’ what they call growing pains.