Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I stress and push to much. I am to competitive. I don't celebrate my own victories. I am a general pain in my own butt.

That being said - I think I found a way to enjoy my running a little more, despite my painfully slowly increasing pace. I was coming home on Sunday in the last mile of my first 5 miler in 2 years, and while I felt accomplished at having finished and not walked, I was irritated at my overall time.

It was muggy and hot on Sunday morning, so I brought water with me AND should have expected slower time. But and hour and 13 minutes for 5 miles?? Yuck. People can walk faster than that!

As I was mentally slicing myself to ribbons, I got this little tug at my heart. For some reason I thought of my Dad. Then I started to wonder if he could see me from heaven. I pondered that this September it will be 5 years since I quit smoking. Dad died from lung cancer caused by a lifelong cigarette habit. If the old man knew I got up at 6:30 on a Sunday morning to run 5 miles...

He'd be mighty proud of me.

There wouldn't be a thing anybody could tell him to dissuade him from holding me high. He would be amazed and happy that I am treating my body nicely these days. He probably couldn't care less about my pace time, wouldn't mean a thing to him.

So then I'm running and crying (hey, don't laugh - it's cheaper than therapy) and I remembered that my Heavenly Father IS proud of me. He DOES see me and is right there with me. That felt a little more tangible. Next thing I knew, I was back home and feeling like a winner.

Friday, May 21, 2010

I have learned a great deal through my dieting years about the quality of a calorie. While it's mostly true that a calorie is a calorie, that's not the whole story when it comes to how your body uses them.

If you want to have a 350 calorie meal, you have a lot of options. Some may be better than others. Some may taste better, and some (a few) may fill you up longer. I used to have a turkey sandwich on light bread, fat free light yogurt, and an apple for lunch nearly every day. This comes in at around:

366 calories

8g fiber

21g protein

It's in my calorie budget, albeit a little blah. But, after this type of lunch, I would be hungry by 2pm and require at least 200 more calories to get me through till I tore into supper.

I have learned to trick those calories into meaning much more. I want to keep the fiber and the protein, but lets get crazy and TRY to live a little.

Lunch now looks like this some days:

High Fiber Tortilla with 1/4c. spicy fat free refried beans and 1/4c. lowfat taco cheese with a dab of salsa and 10 or so baby carrots.

This one comes in at:

353 calories

19g fiber

27g protein

Sometimes I can't even finish the carrots. Yes, I know. I used to want to slap people that said things like that to. "Can't finish?" Welp, that's what happens when you get more bang for your calorie buck. And that 2pm snack? Skip it most days. Might have that apple later on to bridge the gap from lunch to dinner, but sometimes not.

So that's my story. I'm slowly deprogramming myself from the LowFat craze of the 1990's. If you do your best to get that protein and fiber packed in there, it sorta works itself out anyway. The hardest thing is backing away from having a starch at every meal. The baked potato with salsa was a favorite standby of my lowfat days.

Tonight I made a pork loin in mustard sauce with some red and yellow peppers in the sauce. I made broccoli on the side but couldn't think of a high fiber starch that I really even wanted to spend my calories on. When I asked hubby if he required a starch dish with the meal, he said the same, so we went without! The kids loved the pork and peppers and even Susan ate it all up WITH the broccoli!

I love to watch the kids enjoy nutritious foods. I used to feel a bit sorry for them that we don't have pop, chips, fruit snacks, and sugared cereals on hand like their friends. But know I just feel sorry for their friends.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

After flying high on the week that nothing could poo-poo on, today I got the mother "load". Suffice it to say that my shockingly adorable nearly 3 year old made nap time a no-go for the other kids. She fussed, she had "to potty" about 14 times, and in the end - she won.

What 'cha gonna do? At 3 she doesn't understand long term consequences. Threatening her with not watching TV in the afternoon is about like telling her she can't go to her Senior Prom. I can't put her in time out when she won't lay down, that's what she wants - to get up. It's really just a mess when she does this - her 1yr old brother can't get HIS nap and that just makes for a poopy time all around.

So. On to the Y tonight for swim lessons. Of course, being home schooled, our children have ample time to pack their bags and make sure they have everything they need for lessons. Including their suits. I reminded them both several times today.

Of course, we get to the Y (20 minutes to the south edge of town) and walk in and Alahnnah realizes that she forgot her suit. You know that beast in the Lord of the Rings movies that has the horrible screeching sound? Here - in case you don't:

Yes, that's what it sounded like. For 20 minutes. We had arrived a bit early (not early enough to have time to turn around and drive home to get her suit!) so we sat in one of the rec areas while she threw a hysterical crying FIT.

People were staring, I was trying to periodically say things like "I'm sorry that your are disappointed" etc. I was SO embarrassed by her behavior and a little fearful that someone might call the police. Yeah, it was THAT bad. I even had to move away from her. I felt like my chest was going to explode from the stress.

I took her to the child care (went back and checked on her through the window) and she got over it. I managed to pound out 3 miles on the treadmill in the Workout Room From Hades. Shew, people, cool that place for corn's sake! It's SO hot up there I can't hardly breathe. So, all of that combined with the insentient coughing I've been doing made my pace time suck wind.

Glad it's all over and everyone is in one piece. Tomorrow is Friday, I only have ONE daycare kid, and I think that maybe the sun might shine for a change. I might make it!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wow. This day has proven to me that I really am healthier and more fit than I was a year ago. I can't believe I survived it all!

First of all, let me say Thank You Lord for allowing me to get a full nights' sleep again last night. Without that, I'd have been sunk. The day started before 6 and went a little like this:

Up and out the door for 3 miles, home to shower, make breakfast, serve 8 kids, (chug coffee/inhale my breakfast). Break up multiple fights between 2 school agers and wonder why I home school. Read stories, change diapers, put babies down for naps. Clean kitchen, wash dishes, get babies up, serve snack (apply makup/curl hair). Clean, clean, clean, read books, play with blocks. Make lunch, feed babies, coax toddlers to try something new, clean everyone up, change diapers, put down the first set (sing nigh-nigh songs), then the second set, then the third.

Get kids all up from naps, sweep and vacuum before they start tearing up the living room again, break up multiple fights between 2 school agers and wonder why I home school. Change diapers, fill and pack 6 sippy cups in with bananas, crackers and cheese, find 12 shoes and shod 6 toddlers, take all (oldest to youngest) outside for picnic style snack.

Freak out when my 2.5yr old falls on her face on the cement, apply ice and TLC while trying to keep an eye on the other kids. Break up multiple fights between 2 school agers and wonder why I home school. Put on happy faces when parents pick up their children, trying to smooth clothes and hair and not LOOK as harried as I feel.

Serve up food for the family, pack gym bag, swim bag, diaper bag. Hop in the car, deliver child to swim lessons, do 30 minutes of free weight training, shower, pick up littles, collect biggers, stop for milk and bananas, get home, give drinks, change diapers, sing nigh-nigh songs...several times...ask Susan what song she wants me to sing after Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. To which she puts up both hands, wrinkles her nose and says:

More Twinkle?

It's funny how my whole day of task oriented activity could be quantified by a 2.5yr old who just wants Momma to sing her favorite song til she falls asleep. After the 3rd go round (with some "Moon" "Jesus" and "ABC" sprinkled in) I told her that I was tired. She said "you can lay down on my bed, Momma." So I did lay my head down. With my little skinned up face baby girl stroking my hair.

That's what I will remember most about this day - the joy of my family, not the busyness - and hopefully she will to.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Why is it that our bedroom is constantly a mess? I do my best to follow FlyLady and when it's the week to be in the Master Bedroom Zone, I just cringe.

And when I say "mess", I'm not talking about a health hazard or anything. It's just clutter! I mean folded clothes needing to be put away, important paperwork stacked on the dresser, random toys and DVD's that were confiscated, shoes needing to be thrown in the closet, etc.

There's a lot of head issues that go along with the bedroom being a mess. One being "out of sight, out of mind." I have a home that is also my place of business. When my clients drop off their children in the morning, I want the living room, kitchen and bathroom to be clean. What happens to that basket of clothes that I started folding? Yup. Tossed in the bedroom.

My dresser is still the tallest place in the house that I can still access. Things that I don't want to lose get tossed up there. Things that I don't want used by little hands, things that I'm saving just for me (the last piece of gum!).

Recently I went through my dresser and closet and got rid of clothes that were to big for me now. This is another mental fry because I had talked myself into keeping them "just in case." Well, I had to decide that I did't want to be that size ever again - so GET RID of them! What happens then, is they sit in a box in the corner for eons until I take them to the donation center.

Under the bed. Well, that used to be worse, but thanks to much merrymaking by my family I have been shamed into giving or throwing most of those treasures away. It just seems like such a shame to pitch those nice gift bags people give you!

Between the Stash and Dash and the Clutter my room is a mess. When things get stuck on the bed needing to be put away, I just throw them on the floor when I'm ready to go comatose at the end of the day. Hmm...

I'm finally reaping the rewards of my stick-to-it-iv-ism with nap time here at the Morton Crazy Daycare. I've been working on it for 6 months - ever since the babies were about 6 months old. At that point, I decided to try to get them on the schedule of everyone else. I knew it would take time - but good grief.

This week, I have sang the songs, tucked the blankies, kissed the foreheads, and said nighty-night. I didn't hear a thing and all slept for almost 2 hours! Normally, I lie on the couch and close my eyes for the glorious few moments that all 4 of them are asleep at the same time. Well, after we finish Math and Science, that is. Today I actually fell ASLEEP on the couch and had a dream!!

Sigh...it's the little things. :o)

Went to the Y with the fam and got my miles in. I was having a hard time and couldn't really understand what was going on. After we were done, my husband said the same thing - noting that it was especially hot in there. Pretty sure that was my problem as well.

Had ran off over half as many calories as I had consumed today by the time that adventure was over. Had to stop at Open Harvest for milk and bananas anyhow, so tried a Vanilla Almond Cliff Builder Bar. Yum! 230 calories and 20g of protein. Definitely a little substantial for a snack on a normal basis - but good in a pinch.

Tomorrow we are having family pictures done. It's been 6mo already and those kids have grown so much! I'm excited to see the differences in *all* of us this time around. I had never been one to get pictures done regularly, but our picture ladies at Creative Eyes Studios are so wonderful and make it so easy and affordable, it's a no brainer. Spray off the young 'uns, put on my good sweat pants and show up.