Saturday, June 10, 2006

There's truly nowhere like home

Okay, so in this part of the woods where I am, it gets so boring. Imagine, no Naija church to get your Holy ghost groove on, and dance like David danced. Na so so Oyinbo church i dey surrounded with, and they're so stiff, they don't even shake to the songs, shey u get my drift? God knows, as soon as i'm done with school in this oyinbo neighborhood, i'm hauling my backside to some other zones, anywhere from MD, DC, VA, TX, GA, anywhere you can find some Naija peeps (i'm not tryna sound tribalistic or racist, er..., even if i am, so what?).

I can count on the number of blacks in this neighborhood let alone, Naijas on my fingertips. Well, like the saying goes, "Man proposes, God disposes." I've come to the conclusion, that staying here for too long, wouldn't gimme the opportunity of being found by good Naija brothas, that may become potential u know what. Living here makes me homesick, call me a baby or whatever, that's ur cup of garri. I can't wait to go home in December. Last time i was at home was in 2003, and heaven knows, i've missed my friends, my church @ home, the neighborhood, our gateman (funny Ghanaian man), infact everything. My parents visit often, so i get to see them and my siblings are here, so i get to see 'em too.

One thing i hope to do this time, is to go to my former school, one of the Federal "Aluta-conscious" universities, to visit my friends there, that school na anotha tori be that. Oya, make I knack you the tori. I had so much fun there, well at the expense of my studies. Kai, that was when i thot i was doing my parents a favor attending the school. But do u blame me? I didn't want to go to that school, thru "long legs" and all, my dad got me admitted for a course, i really didn't want there. Again, the school was my popsie's alma mata and my grandfather's and bla bla bla. My JAMB score was good, but we know say JAMB too get K-leg. Anyway, as per it was my first time far away from home, i never studied jack. I'd go to class, take notes, but never read 'em. I spent all my time galivanting from one Christian Fellowship to another, at least that was good nau (who am i kidding?).

Really, i would've been serious and all, but the straw that broke my already crooked camel's back, was my 1st day in the MCB 101 lab. We were about 120 students, and heaven knows i'm not lying, in this very tiny classroom made into a lab. As usual, NEPA abi wetin be the new name sef, did what they know how to do best and so the lab was friggin hot. We were all packed in like sardines, and mehn! i was sniffing orisirisi (different kinds) body odors. Kai! even after so many years the repugnant smell is still fresh in my memory. Oh well, the experiment was the Iodine test for Starch and some others, so we were divided into groups of about 12 each, with one tiny winny bottle of Iodine for the 12 of us. Of course, the bottle was only enough to go round 8 people, but make u come see how my fellow students were pouring the Iodine like say na competition of who-can-pour-the-most den dey do. C'mon now, we only needed about 2-3 drops each. JJC (Johnny just come) like myself, i was trying to tell 'em not to waste it, see how den begin dey stare at me, like i dropped from Mars or sumtin. I come shut up my own mouth before i get some serious beating. Anyway, the thing come finish and I now asked the lab attendant for some more. Na so tori come begin dey flow, "Federal govt. gave us money for just 5, we managed to give you 10 and u still dey complain, abeg go write whatever u wan write and at the end submit ur paper. My salary sef no dey enough for me to be doing overtime (OT) and prepping more Iodine for you, abi na u or ur papa go pay the OT money. You see wetin ur mates dey do, referring to how they were dubbing (copying) one another, i advise you berra go do the same, if not u go fail this course." I was so pissed at him, the gov't, my parents, infact everybody for subjecting me to this. After getting over my anger, i decided to join the bandwagon to dub for the other experimemnts. At least from high school days, i remember the Iodine test. I saw my peeps dubbing from this supposed "iwe" (genius) so i decided to try out some dubbing skills.

Chei! ChinekeosanobwaGodofmercy, when i saw what they were dubbing, which was wrong, Mr. Genius wrote that Iodine test produced CO2 gas and on bubbling through limewater, there was effervescence. Kai, for where? No be simple blue-black the yam go turn? Since when did yam start giving off CO2 gas? That was when i said to myself, i ain't dubbing rubbish. Even if i wanna dub, i'm gonna dub what makes sense, right? I just stormed out of the lab and didn't hand in anything. My friends were looking at me, like i was crazy, 'cos each lab report was a huge chunk of our final grade. From then on, i was so disinterested in the school and all i wanted to do was LEAVE. Finally, i left.

Even though that school was kinda whacked for me, i thank God for going there, 'cos of the wonderful friendships i made, and that was where my Christian faith was firmly rooted. So in every disappointment, there's always a blessing. I still have more yarns about my experience in the "Aluta-conscious" school, but i'll save that for another blog entry. Till i'm motivated to fill this blog again, Remain blessed people.

3 comments:

lol @ the whole dubbing incident. i can tell you stories of how students used to bring in that bible of chemistry books "ababio" and still fail woefully. I guess you really have to know what you're doing to dub properly. Personally i dont remember much about chemistry theory, but i know sulphur smelled horrible...and the amonia...was good for playing practical jokes. i do remember getting flogged constantly, that was when i bothered to turn up for class. i swear all federal government colleges are all the same.

Ha! "Osei Yaw Ababio" How can i forget? I even know the full names of the author, ain't that something? I literally ate that book during SSCE.

Remember New General Math? All those Literature texts, "Marriage of Anansewa, Wole Soyinka's Lion & the jewel with Lakunle and Sidi, Ola Rotimi's The gods are not to blame." Secondary school memories brings back this bitter-sweet nostalgic feeling.

Those wicked senior pangolos (cylindrical metal objects) that'll punish u like there's no tomorrow. Anyway, those were some good times, er ...