Mr. Bucknuts Bucket Of Bullets

Mr. Bucknuts

08/18/2006

Mr. Bucknuts likes to get out the crystal ball from time to time and look into the future to make some predictions. Such is the case in this edition of the Bucket of Bullets. Check out his thoughts and predictions for this coming season, the recruiting classes to come, and much more.

A Bucket of sooth…

While most sports websites bob and weave when it comes to predictions,
Bucknuts likes to take the big pronouncements and the glib soothsaying head on.
Hey – that's why guys like Duane and Gary and Nevada and Bill Greene work here!
As we describe ourselves: "Frequently wrong but seldom in doubt".

We leave it to our weak-kneed brethren to coin such soothing phrases as "It
is likely…" or "There is a probability in my mind…", or even "I have a tendency
to think…" (that's a straight line looking for a punch line, right
there). We have a tendency to just say what we think and live
with the consequences. That's how it should be. Well, according to us, at least…

So, as others are mired in the throes of soothaphobia (1), Bucknuts blunders
on, spouting predictions that vary between profound and absurd, from pompous to
glib. Living up to that reputation takes leadership and I am just the man for
that job. While you can't expect anything quite as momentous in this column as
"This she wolf is a reward to my kinsman" (2), I will delve into ten delve-able
ideas that are meant to provoke discussion, and probably an all-out meltdown on
the Free Boards (3).

2.The three early reporters this spring will be early stars this fall.

3.OSU will miss Santonio Holmes – for his blocking ability. OSU will miss
Ashton Youboty – for his tackling

4.You needn't worry about depth on the defensive line; this year, OSU will
have the best recruiting haul in ages. You needn't worry about depth on the
offensive line; we will have the best recruiting haul ever – next year.

5.Scout, Rivals, Fox, Bucknuts and BSB; you are about to see some
substantive changes.

6.When we all look back in five years, this small recruiting class that's
coming in (2006), which was ranked 10th-12th in the
nation, will have proven to be more appropriately ranked in the top three.

7.The mid-season defensive starters will all end up being early NFL
draftees.

8.Academic casualties seldom – if ever – make their way back to the team.
If you are in Tressel's doghouse, you seldom make it out in the same year.

9.A few games (Texas, Penn State) that are supposed to be struggles won't
be; a couple games that aren't supposed to be struggles (MSU, Northwestern) will
be, and the rest will go true to form.

10.Michigan will be a game unto itself.

(1) From the Celtic and Welsh meaning "a fear
of predictions"; also see "arachnaRphobia (fear of the Richmond Spiders) and
arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth).
This might be my most educational and informative Bucket ever…

(2) Allegedly, the first sentence in the
English language

(3)Named after the Lynyrd Skynyrd song

Now, to bat around those points and attempt to
make them appear rational:

1. Ted Ginn

Ted's future income depends, in part, on proving that he is the world-class
cornerback that we all (somehow) know him to be. Otherwise, the NFL dollars will
diminish. The Buckeye current season prospects rise and fall on that "other" CB
position opposite of soon-to-be-All-World Malcolm Jenkins. Remember Chris
Gamble? So does Jim Tressel.

2. The early reporters

No, I am not talking about Steve Helwagen, Dave Biddle and Charles Babb (who
are all compulsively prompt); I am talking about Ross Homan, Kurt Coleman and
Chris Wells. Homan and Wells are already in the two-deep. But I am projecting
Kurt Coleman there, too, and for Kurt to be your cornerback of the future.
What's not to like in a guy that is super athletic, very fast and loves to hit?

3. Holmes and Youboty

If you watched replays of "big plays" last year, there's Holmes laying out
someone in the secondary to spring Ginn or Pittman. When you look at opposing
running backs getting snarfled at the line, there's Youboty laying on the lick.
I hope OSU doesn't miss that run support this year…

4. Offensive lines/defensive lines

I project that OSU will get two out of the three following defensive tackles
this year: Joseph Barksdale, Antonio Jeremiah and Josh Brent. I project that we
will get two out of the three following defensive ends: Ben Martin, Solomon
Thomas and Martez Wilson/Devon Still. While none of this is breaking news
(individually), the sum total is terrific news (collectively).

For 2008, OSU will get commitments from four Top 100 O-linemen, any of whom
could be amongst the best in the nation. I think they are Mike Adams and Zebrie
Sanders (both from Ohio) and Michael Brewster (FL) and Kyle Long (VA). If that
occurs, you would have to look at any team anywhere any time to have a better
class than that!

5. Rivals and Scout

There will be a sea change in the way these national college site networks
work. Bucknuts is voluntarily part of Scout, which sold out to Fox last year.
Buckeye Sports Bulletin is part of Rivals, which is changing their overall
strategy this year. Look for big changes as the national networks worry
more about their tactics and the websites themselves (the guys doing the work!)
worry more about being great web sites.

6. The 2006 recruiting class

This is already looking like a superior class. Talk about quality
versus quantity! OSU has the three super "early reporters" (see above) who all
have the marks of "superstar" on them. Then you have Robert Rose and Ray Small
from Glenville, both of whom could start for 3+ years. They have one O-lineman
(Connor Smith) that could be a great one and one (Bryant Browning) that could
eventually start. The Buckeyes have a great fullback prospect (Aram Olson), two
good tight ends (Ballard and Miller) plus three more DB's that will play their
position as well as special teams (Grant Schwartz, Chimdi Chekwa and Aaron
Gant). Defensive line? Walter Dublin and Dexter Larimore will both be in the
two-deep mix as long as they are eligible. Finally – the linebackers. Are you
kidding me? Homan and Thaddeus Gibson and Larry Grant and Tyler Moeller and Mark
Johnson. A great class. Case to be fully closed in five years…

7. Mid-season "D"

Pitcock and Patterson will both have long careers at the next level. Lawrence
Wilson, too. Pick from either Gholston, Richardson and Rose. Two of those three
will play Sundays. Freeman, Laurinaitis and Homan? All Sunday guys. Super
Jamario, Anderson Russell, Malcolm Jenkins and Coleman/Ginn? Count on paying to
watch them all play. A great collection and they will be collecting great big
bucks after their time with these Bucks.

8. Casualties and doghouse denizens

As to the academic side, the Underwood family is gone. Many of the kids that
the Bucks took a chance on are back home: Hiley, Sirjo, Reggie Smith, Brandon
Maupin and Sian Cotton. Those guys were on the ropes and never got off. As to
the "doghouse", think Redgie Arden, AJ Trapasso, Jonathan Skeete and Andre
Tyree. Then think Erik Haw and Marcel Frost. There were no more talented guys on
the entire roster; if anyone could crawl out to the end of the chain, I thought
it would be the two of them.

9. Surprise games going both ways

Plus or minus the unanticipated injuries and those dreaded turnovers, I think
OSU lays one on Texas in front of a national audience. There's payback. There's
the surprisingly good "D". And there's that freshman Longhorn QB. I also think
that Penn State comes in with an empty suit. Plus, that payback thing. Plus, we
owe Posluszny just for tarnishing the Butkus award…

As to the unexpectedly scary games, Michigan State is the Sybil of college
football with more personalities than players. How to prepare? And Northwestern,
up in the gloom and cold of Evanston in November…well, I remember that horrid
home game there a few years back. Whew.

10. The Michigan game

One of the famous dead poets (1) once famously said "Man's love is of man's
life a thing apart. ‘Tis woman's sole existence". And so it goes with the
Michigan game. It is a thing apart. Too many of us can remember too many
Michigan games in which we should have kicked their ass remorselessly and just,
well…didn't. 1996 and 1995 spring to mind. And – fortunately – we can
remember a few games in which we weren't supposed to show up (2001 springs to
mind) that we kicked some of that same ass. Michigan-Ohio State. Just thinking
about it makes the blood chill…

(1) I think it was Tennyson. But it could have
been Golfson or Cricketson or another of those British sports-related poets.

* * *
*

Some more offensive lines…For those of you hanging on every word of
every Bucket, you know that a) You need help and b) I am still reviewing,
position-by-position, the team from a recruiting perspective. We have covered
all of the so-called "skill positions" on offense, which brings us to the Big
Uglies, the guys that allow those skill position players to operate.

If you ask some analysts-in-the-know, they would say that OSU has its best
O-line in many many years. If you asked me, I would say the same thing. Plus,
that line is gonna get even better.

With Boone and Rehring on one side, you have Two Tons of Fun, and both are
sophomores. Datish has become a polished gem at center and Downing (senior) and
Barton (junior) are both NFL-bound. Next year, the Two Tons will be back, Cordle
is penciled in at center and Skinner or Person or Mitchum or Connor Smith will
replace Downing. As backups, there's still the veteran Tim Schafer (senior),
newcomers Bryant Browning and Josh Kerr (both expected to red-shirt as true
freshmen) and everyone loves walk-on center Tyler Whaley.

All that said, the only issue is the depth in waiting. It seems that two or
three big bodies are needed in this year's recruiting net (one – Evan
Blankenship – has already been snared). The other 1-2 should come from a great
group that includes Nick Claytor, Kris O'Dowd and Anthony Davis. At least thus
far. But, for those of you hanging on every word (1), you know that the real
mother lode comes in the next recruiting class with 2-3 offers for that
class; offers probably coming as early as this September!

So, relax, you worrisome quarrelsome fans. The line is great. And it's going
to get better…

(1) Check out "Defensive lines/offensive
lines" from above before you check out altogether.

* * * *

You can hold the mayo…But only for so long. OJ Mayo postponed (again)
his press conference on Sunday to announce what he has been announcing for the
past three weeks - that he will become the second famous OJ to attend USC. In
his planned one-year tenure there, it is likely that he might more closely
resemble another Ohio miscreant, Reecie; of (unfortunately) more vintage infamy.
I'm not sure that this juice is worth the squeeze as OJ Mayo seems to fall into
the category of "The accident that's waiting to happen"…

* * * *

Every move you make, every breath you take, every Twinkie you inhale…That's
right, Little Tuna, we'll be watching you. As Charlie Weis outs himself, this
year, to the rest of the world as 1) Mortal 2) Obnoxious and 3) Unbelievably
arrogant, we will take every opportunity to let you in on the case slowly
being built to take off the emperor's clothes (1). Such an opportunity presents
itself again this week as Charlie turns loose the Leprechauns for practice and
this report was filed:

Good
Charlie, stubborn Charlie, a fact of life

This
story ran on nwitimes.com on Monday, August 7, 2006 12:19 AM CDT

Al
Hamnik

It's Charlie's way, or the
closest you'll get to Irish football is the car radio. Behind the scenes, away
from cameras and tape recorders, we're told he's got the people skills of a
prison guard. And a temper to match.

What's so frustrating is that Weis can be genuinely charming one moment, a
tyrant the next. He had that split personality as an NFL coordinator with the
Jets and Patriots, and continues to irritate other coaches at Notre Dame with
his moody nature and short fuse.

A large number of alumni reportedly are upset by his behavior. As long as the
Irish win, they'll bite their lip. But if the program struggles, his critics
will multiply like roaches.

Notre Dame's Football Media Day was Sunday morning, not Saturday, if you can
believe that. The media turnout could've been better. We have a Catholic
university, on a church day, a traditional family day, basically forcing some to
work.

It didn't take Charlie long to flex some muscle. Former Times Sports Writer Jeff
Carroll, now working for the Irish Sports Report, was informed by school
officials that he could not ask questions of Weis, his staff or players during
the three-hour session. It seems Weis and senior associate athletics director
John Heisler weren't happy with some of Carroll's reporting endeavors.

Here's an idea: Have someone ask the questions for you.

Not a pretty picture to contemplate, that…

To give your opinions on whether all the academic looking footnotes
actually make a typical Bucket of Bullets column seem even more intelligent and
insightful, feel free to contact Mr. Bucknuts on this (or any other) subject (1)