Every Woman Should Thank Herself For These Incredible Things

Men adore us. Guys want us. Children look up to us and the world takes a bow. We all know that as women, we have been told how special we are time and again: a guy’s dream before marriage and a husband’s pride after; a father’s reason for smile ; a mother’s comfort in sadness; a friend’s matchmaker; a bestie’s medicine for hangover; and a child’s solace for distress. But then there are times that we ourselves don’t know what we are capable of and the daily stuff that we do makes us exceptional.

It’s time to give yourself some credit that you deserve instead of demanding it from others. So sit back and relax: you are accused and guilty. It’s conviction time!

1. Their beauty.

You are the fairer sex. Trust me it is not easy to look so lovely each day when you wake up in the morning or by the end of the night. But whatever you do, you do it best! Give yourself the benefit of doubt and love the efforts you put forth when it comes to monthly facials, pedicures, waxes and haircuts. Love the nail art sessions, and all the fitness exercises you do. Remember: if guys love you for the way you look, why shouldn’t you yourself do the same?

2. Their forgiveness.

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You are the epitome of love and forgiveness. You might get mad, but it hardly takes you a moment to return back to your usual self. Trust me: it is not so easy to be so patient and forgive your friends, brother, husband and children for the times they hurt you or say something harsh. You are quick in putting things on the back burner and forgiving. Well, that’s an impressive trait, I say!.

3. Their everyday, tiring efforts.

Going to work, attending classes, giving a presentation, doing the laundry or the dishes, dropping the kids off for school, preparing a sumptuous dinner, vacuuming or tending to the plants—it’s amazing how much a woman can achieve in a single day and can still manage to look lovely. Sometimes, we take the women in our lives for granted or forget to tell them how lucky we are for the thankless efforts they do daily. If no one else appreciates you, do it yourself. Take a day off, sit in the park and revel in your glory.

4. The warmth they bring into the household.

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From a girl’s sweet laughter, to her sister’s scurrying around playfully to catch her, to her mother’s soothing morning prayer; from warm hot food cooked by her to a wife washing her lover’s hair; from the early morning cardamon tea she makes for her father-in-law to the shawl she gets for her grandmother, it’s amazing that you yourself don’t realize at times how much the people around you change in your presence.

5. Their undying love and sacrifices for their family.

From spending all her salary to get her mother the best clothes, to getting her little brother the latest gadget; from spoiling her son with all the sweet meats and rich food, to remembering her husband’s doctor’s appointment—a women’s love for her siblings, parents, in-laws, friends and cousins is always heart warming. She gets up early morning to cook a surprise breakfast for you and sleeps after you have already drifted off. She never ceases to make herself available when you need her.

6. Their multi-tasking attitude.

She can chop onions and cry for a friend’s break up over the phone. She can put make up on and reply to your texts. She can bake a cake right and get you your evening cup of coffee. She can work on an assignment and watch a movie simultaneously. One can only wonder how she gets so much done with such perfection. Girl, you are truly a wonder woman!

7. Their ability to push their chins up and carry on.

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Had a fight with her boyfriend and it doesn’t show in the office meeting she led. Didn’t sleep a wink last night from the baby’s wails, but she looks radiant in the dress that she wore to the girl’s get-together. Yes, she might have gone through a hard divorce, but look at the way she lets her hair down at the party. The way her tears hide behind those big, black, lush eyelashes of hers, and how she still manages a smile. The way she always resurfaces back to normal even after a tragedy in her life is remarkable.

8. Their willingness to follow their dreams, whether it be writing, research, music, dance, government, or fitness.

Battling the dull humdrum of life, they swiftly move from one thing to another, not forgetting their own dreams in the meantime. Some love to read endlessly, some write, others sing or dance, or spend hours researching a cure; and for some, just being in the nature is enough. Acknowledge the wonderful quality that you have within you and take due credit for the juggling act of yours.

9. Their ability to transform into super chefs.

You were once a cooking novice who used to throw the onions from quite a distance just to avoid the oil sprinkling on your face or became frustrated when you burned the bread, or when the salad got way too messy. Now, you smile those days off; look at where you have come now. You have the hands of Midas or something as whatever you cook now is edible and healthy if not always very tasty. ;)

10. The ability to lead a life of their own!

Your willingness to leave behind your family, friends, sometimes career, or even your home country is worth applauding. Many women take on huge financial, personal, and emotional responsibilities when they are with someone, even though they knew nothing of it before. The party animal girl is transformed into someone who turns off the lights at 10:30 p.m. as she now needs to wake up early to get to work or take the kids to school.

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11. The ability to preserve their identities!

Finally, you have the ability to have a separate identity. You recognize that you are a daughter, mother, wife, sister, boss, and lover, and you do not forget all that constitutes what it means to be a woman. At the same time, you have a separate identity, lifestyle, personal habits, and memories from growing up and things that you are dealing with in the present.

We all know, as women or having women in our lives, that they are powerhouses of stamina and torchbearer in our lives. But the endurance, gratification, and the extent of our efforts are limitless and mind-boggling. The world is saying so and so should you: “Give yourself some credit, woman! Make those baths extra long. Feel the wind in your hair. Smell your coffee in the mornings and walk an extra mile. This is what makes you special. This makes you adored. Take the phone off the hook and leave your worries at the door.”

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

Understand your own communication style

Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience

Communicate with precision and care

Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.