My experience has been that the A.A. Daily Inventories -- Step Ten, has been the one tool that I use most often that produces the greatest benefits for my life. It helps me dissolve my emotional disturbances. It helps me to grow in personal understanding and effectiveness. It helps me to make spiritual progress. It also helps me to gain a better understanding of others â€“ and it helps me to better understand why they do what they do â€“ that so often hurts my feelings â€“ which will cause me to feel disturbed.

Bill W., wrote in the 12 & 12, page 90, on Step 10 wrote: It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.

Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional "dry benders" often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances--jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride--did the same thing.

When I was less experienced with A.A.â€™s Way of Life â€“ I used to get resentful at the A.A. Way of Life! It seemed as though it was always picking on me! Making me out to be the bad guy in all situations â€“ and I would wonder, â€œhow can this negativity directed towards self â€“ bring any kind of positive results?â€

Thanks, Dallas. I spent a lot of time in sobriety looking for reasons to be offended, and I always found them. It took me a long time to realize that I was very self-pitying. My sensitivity was made up by an awful lot of self-pity. And my self-pity weakened me. When I was in pity mode, I was giving away my power.

I love that you mention responsibility. It took me a long time to figure out that the antidote for self-pity, for me, was responsibility. I needed to take charge of my own feelings, as you said, and realize that I was the only one who could change the way I was feeling.

Being responsible for myself is so incredibly empowering. There's a fantastic non-AA poem that has a line something like ... actually, I'd like to post the whole poem, hope that's okay since it's not AA.

I'll put it in a separate post, so if it's not okay, the Moderators can delete just the poem.....

I was sitting in a noon meeting today, and it was about my third meeting in a row that the topic was step 10. (coincidental? My favorite step, after step 1) and I turned to a friend sitting next to me and said 'why do all the meeting seem to be on step 10 latley, do you think God is trying to tell me something?'
(no, I don't have alcoholic thinking at all, the meeting must be about me. ) And he said, 'because it's October' And I said 'so, what does that have to do with it, is God wanting me to learn something in October, that he doesn't want me to learn in September?' He just looks at me and smiles, one of those, your not real bright sometimes, but I love you any way, smiles and says 'it's the tenth month, and we are reading out of Daily Reflections'
Just when I think I have it all together, one of those things happen that make me say to myself, 'I'll be damned'.... But, I still want to get a Daily Reflections book and see if that is true. Ism' still kick my butt sometimes.
I think I may have what I hear Dallas talking about on here. I am a 'figure-outer' I think that is another way of saying, I have alcoholic thinking, at its finest.

As you're thinking of the 10th Step -- and, doing it -- I hope you're remembering to write down the good things about you and the good things that you do. That's part of the 10th, that some people leave out.

Maybe, that's why the 10th Step has been coming up so many times for you in the meetings... a reminder... for you to write down the good stuff about you.

Or........ maybe it is that goofy Daily Reflections book!

Or..... maybe... it's because you've learned how vital it is to do that daily 10th.

I'm Jackie and a alcohlic: I've been sober for almost 90 days now.My dilema is I seem to have resentments toward certain people for no good reason. It's frustrating and tiring and I feel so stupid feeling this way. I try to avoid these people and that helps and if I can't a rigorous round at the gym works, but the same feelings keep coming back. Is this just a one of the many symptoms of early sobriety? Help!