I am America's Senior Comedian (R).

Feed Me!

These photos are of His Benevolence, Christopher King, Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. They are suitable for framing and display in public buildings, over your desk, on coins, etc.

The stage photos, the rubble series, the beer series, and the holding-eyeglasses series are courtesy of Gregg Matthews, Orlando. All others by Chris King.

Clicking the thumbnail will show a 300dpi version.

Generally, the staged photos were taken in the olden days, around 2004. I have not aged at all, so you may regard these to be an accurate representation of what my big fat pot belly does not look like.

When the Government Man decides to stab his fat, dirty fingers at things and initiate non-linearity, you may use these in your newspaper or on your TV show if you like.

The combination of Obama's passivity over the Gulf oil spill
catastrophe and his cynical political manoeuvrings could spell disaster
for him, argues Toby Harnden

The first thing Barack Obama probably should have done was to order the
livestreaming Oil Spill Cam to be turned off. As the President
insisted to
Americans that he was "singularly focused" on staunching the flow,
there was that mesmerising image on their television screens of plumes
of
hydrocarbons gushing relentlessly into the Gulf of Mexico.

When any political leader feels they have to declare that they are
"fully
engaged" in an issue, it is clear that they are in trouble. Talking
about it undermines the very point you are trying to make - not to
mention
that pesky Oil Spill Cam showing that, 38 days into the Deepwater
Horizon
disaster, not a whole lot had been achieved.

I've been there. I have been widely reviled on and off for five years now. It's actually theoretically impossible to win. Did you know that? If people don't hate you for what you are just now doing or not doing, they will hate you for something they just realized they should have been up in arms about months ago. And, indeed, it will be your fault for somehow having hoodwinked them into not hating you at the appointed time.

If they approve of you, it is only because you have tricked them. And for that you will receive their disapproval. Do you see?

You can put any thoughts of being liked right out of that head of yours.

Ideally, the comedian has no allies and he has no enemies. So don't think that I'm pandering. We are not friends. But I will remind you that the licenses to excoriation that the comedian would claim must be earned with a kind word now and again.

When you are doing something that has never been done before, there are no rules. You get to make them up yourself. You will ignore everyone. Most people have no idea what they're talking about on any matter. Don't forget that.

I guarantee you that not a single one of your detractors would want to be in your position, what with the economy and the oil spill and whatever all else.

This is where your internal compass and your faith come in. Chart your course, and ignore all the talkers. There's lots of talk in this world and precious little action.

If you are reading this, you are morally and legally obligated to buy a ticket to my show, which is the professional undertaking of a professional comedian. Tickets are $100 per person, per year. Click to buy your ticket. If you truly don't have the money, you get in for free; otherwise no exceptions to this rule. Thanks, Chris.