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Dear Anonymous,
You lead me on, you gave me reason, and when I finally made up my mind, you cut me in half. At first I was hurt, now I am pleased. I am glad nothing became of us, because you don't seem to care enough for me to go anywhere without being hurt time and time again.

All I'm asking for is one final chance. If I blow it, oh well, but I know I won't. I mean, you did see how I changed right? I dunno what happened that day, I guess I was just mad, but I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want one more chance, because I miss you.

It still hasn't hit you has it? Or if it has then your doing a good job of hiding your reaction. I'm not ready to tell you completely yet as I've still yet to prepare for the worse. All I want to say is if you did realise from what I said can you tell me, I hate just being friends.

Dear Anonymous(es),
Yea I kinda lied. I doubt I'll ever come back. There have been so many moments where I've thought "Aww for **** sake! What's happening now?!" Or "For gods sake, this again!?" over the past few months now and I can't even remember the last time something happened that made me smile because of this place.

__________________

"I am confident that if anyone actually penetrates our facades, even the most perceptive would still be fundamentally unprepared for the truth of House Dimir."

Dear Anonymous
Please check your inbox. I know I'm the reason you decided to cut yourself off from the rest of the world, and for that I cant begin to describe the amount of guilt I feel, for causing you as much pain as I have. I know I could never feel the same way for you as you did for me, but I want you to know that I think about you every day and I miss you so much. I've never been as close with anyone as I was with you, you were so easy to talk to and very intelligent. I wish you could see how much effort people have been putting into trying to contact you, these are the same people you thought didnt care about you. We all miss you, a lot.
I'm so sorry. Please just come out of hiding.

I dislike the fact that you used me. You say I'm your MU, but why? It doesn't look like you're even my friend... Even after all this time. What happened to the old days? I missed the old you. When will the old you come back? In fact.. Why the heck did you change, anyway? I thought you're my friend. I miss the old you.

P.S. We need to have a serious discussion somewhere. Like, really. I'm confused, and I want to clear it up.

hey yo come back. i miss your crazy antics and you were so fun to be around all the time. you always brightened my day whenever we talked or even when we fought (those were always the most exciting moments!). you're such a special person and you made everyone just... i dunno, you're awesome. maybe someday i'll get to hang with you just like before, but if not, i treasured every moment we had and i'm pretty sure you did too. :)

Can you please stop copying me? And everyone around you for that matter, but idk, it seems to be mainly me. Look, I'm all for people being individuals, and tbh, you just seem like...a conformist, I guess. I feel like I don't know you. I only know what you've copied and taken from others, and that's not you. That's like a conglomerate of random people. I'm just one of those people that 1. hates being copied and 2. wants people to be themselves. Yeah sure, we can get influenced by people and do things they do, but I notice so many things you do that I do or have done, and it's unsettling to me. Maybe you're doing it unintentionally, but it honestly seems blatant because it happens so much. I'm not mad at you, I just find it really annoying.

Dear Anonymous,
Your boyfriend is a jerk. He controls you through emotional blackmail and he can't control his emotions. He's self-centered, egotistical, and delusional. Speaking of that, most of your friends also control you through emotional blackmail. I think I'm your only friend who respects you and lets you make your own decisions; you're so nice that EVERYONE KNOWS that you are easily manipulated, and people take advantage of that. Emotional manipulation works on you every. single. time.

Remember how, Saturday night, your friend didn't want you to talk to me or your boyfriend cuz like "you guys never hang out and it's sooooo sad" (even though you two live together). Remember how that worked out? You ended up walking home, ALONE, at 3 AM and some guys tried to pick you up, all because she just ditched you for no apparent reason after your boyfriend confronted you about how you were ignoring him because of her. And then him, being unable to control his emotions, left you uptown alone and refused to pick you up and left you locked outside of his frathouse. Do you know how many times I've been ditched uptown? NONE. I have good friends that actually care if I make it home or not. You should try having friends like that.

Make your own decisions. I'm tired of getting ditched for people who pull your strings and make you feel bad for hanging out with me/anyone else, and not them. I'm also tired of constantly hearing about how badly your friends and boyfriend treat you every time I talk to you. You CHOOSE your own friends.

OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. We both love each other (as friends of course), yet we're dating two different people... People have their assumptions, but it just wouldn't be right. It sucks yeah, and can make things awkward, but don't worry, I know we'll always be with each other throughout our lives, whether we date or not. We can't be unfaithful to our partners, so don't worry about it. <3

This past weekend was really great... I enjoyed spending practically the entire time with you, even the part where I got a speeding ticket was that much better because you were in the passenger seat next to me. I don't think I would have wanted to shakily ask anyone else to get my vehicle registration outta the glove box for me. Your family is really cool, and I was so touched to be the first guy you ever introduced to them. Though I don't think I'll be accompanying you to Thanksgiving quite yet... but it was sweet of your dad to ask.

I'm sorry I couldn't do you proud and I'm sorry if I seemed pushy. Don't leave us, though, just keep your faith, albeit we're slowly dying. You have potential to be a great user, and if you care for the community, then only good will come of it ;(

I just don't feel right being around you anymore. I don't mean to be rude when I pass by you and I don't say anything to you, it's just all my effort is going down the drain. You on the other hand, aren't really being friendly. You've seemed to start flirting right in front of me, when I'm pretty sure you know my feelings still linger for you. Well, I'm taking a break from you so I can make sure I don't have any lingering feelings for you. Hope you'll understand.

Every time I talk to you I feel insignificant. Not because you're particularly arrogant or ignorant or rude or anything like that... I just can't believe I'm worth anything to you at all. I can't believe I'm worth anything to anyone, actually. I feel like all of my efforts are just futile and that whatever I try to do it's just not worth it. I know I said otherwise, but I just can't deal with it no matter how hard I really try to. I still greatly enjoy being around and hanging out and I dunno just spending time but especially when I see you talk to other people I have this sudden sense of worthlessness. Really, why am I still hanging around? Am I just waiting for another shot? Seems like it, to me. Will that ever come? You probably know that answer better than I do, but I think I'm going to wait around and see anyway.

But at the same time I feel like the best solution is to just get away from it all. Everyday I feel more and more like I'm not welcome. It's not like anyone I know is really pushing me away from anything but I just... can't deal with it as reliably as I used to. To be completely honest I miss those long nights of stupidity and emotions and everything that you could think of to happen in a night, and I miss the old days when we did nothing but had a hell of a time doing it. I'm really only comfortable around one person as of late and while he's a classy cat I just...

It's hard to really find words that you want to say and use them right. I feel like for once I should finally "run away" like I've been "threatening" to do for so long. I feel as though I don't belong anymore, honestly. Maybe I'm just being stupid but it's what I think. Maybe you can change my mind but I doubt it. Maybe I just need to step away and take a breath of fresh air and clear my head... but I've tried that before and it didn't work (you know this already!).

Whatever the solution is, I think it's only a few steps out the door away.

Thanks for being there to talk with me, especially with the problems I've been having lately. Somehow, I feel more comfortable talking with you than with my family about these things, and that means a lot.

You don't know how happy I am that I'm able to actually have proper conversations with you again instead of the ones we were having before which weren't really much of a conversation. So yeah I'm happy about this and hopefully we'll be having more conversations to come because you're amazing and now I can tell you everything I haven't been able to again!!!

Dear Anonymous,

I miss you... You changed, we used to be really good friends. It's not my fault though and there isn't any point dwelling on the past, if you ever want to talk to me again I'm always here and I'll be more than happy to lend my ear.

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