Monday, October 12, 2015

This weekend was unexpectedly lovely, probably because it involved family. I love my two ladies more than life itself, and spending just some quality time with my big sister was perfect.

And yes, I bought us onesies. We drank a lot of wine, talked about a lot of things, watched a lot of TV.

I just love her beyond words. We also had a very honest conversation about if we became zombie's during a zombie outbreak we would shoot each other. OK, fine, I wouldn't even be able to shoot her as a zombie, even if it meant she was going to kill me.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

So I've been MIA lately. I could say there's been a lot going on, because there has. I could say I'm unbelievably stressed out, which is sort of true.

But honestly, I haven't been proud of myself lately. I've been hiding out trying to figure out how to relax, which has made me all around lazy.

Finding comfort in food for a thick girl isn't the best idea. I've never been ashamed of my body, I've never been someone who thought they could be a size 2, but I know when I'm getting unhealthy.

Too much beer, too much junk, not enough exercise and eating right. It's not a difficult equation, but there's always an excuse to not do the right thing.

I'm exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm hungover.

I've had my picture taken a lot lately for different celebrations, and I honestly don't recognize myself. You know when girls look in the mirror and see a fatter version of themselves, well I seem to have the opposite problem.

I'm not saying it's time to go all nutzo, I'm saying it's time to make the girl in the mirror reflect the badass chick I really am again. I've always struggled with my weight, but I know where I should be and this isn't it.

I'm not mad at being slightly chubby, but I'm mad at seeing that I've let myself get to a point where I am embarrassed to even smile for a picture. It's not about feeling I need to fit a certain mold, it's about being the best version I can be, and I'm not comfortable with the person I am showing right now.

Whew, that wasn't easy, because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but I can still be that and say I'm not happy with where my health is at right now.

All these Drake ITunes shopping sprees are about to pay off, it's time to get my Ronda Rousey on.

And no more beer. OK for a month. OK for a few weeks, but wine is basically a fruit.