1) Never at our house again.

Back in the day, it was easier. When he and his co-horts were four, they could run through the house with a minimum of crowding. There was frolicking and free play with just about every toy he owned and that, pretty much, would be that.

It is now a FAR bigger production. They’re 6. They’re taller. They run faster and wreck the place at a much more aggressive level. Then again, having 9 kids in the place really was asking for it.

2) Don’t overestimate the power of pizza.

I knew they would devour it and leave some as part of a mess, but I did not expect the whole, “I’ve had three bites, I don’t want anymore until 20 minutes after you’ve taken it away” thing. Which, I admit, is silly. I mean, I have one of my own. How did I NOT see that coming?

3) Just get it.

Things that were essential to his theme I’d found online ages ago. I refrained from purchasing them right away, for fear of overspending. A rational fear, mind you, but one that hampered my party planning. A lot.

Next time, I’ll just buy as I go. Provided I don’t just throw in the towel and Chuck E. Cheese it next time.

Oh, who am I kidding? Even if I did do that, I’d try to re-arrange things to give it a “personal touch.”

4) Presentation isn’t always everything.

When I started out with this plan, I had a very different image of the cake I was making in my head. I plotted and schemed and thought of the confectionery options that were at my fingertips and how pretty the cake would eventually look and how I would be admired for the hood rat Martha Stewart that I am.

In reality, I barely had time to finish frosting the dang thing before people walked in the door. It was not one of my prettier creations, surely. But when the kids (and adults) dug into it like there was money waiting for them at the bottom, I realized I didn’t have to worry.

BTW, mint chip buttercream filling… covers a multitude of sins.

5) Thank God, mommy’s an actor.

Anyone who says theater and parenting have nothing in common, has never hosted a themed kids’ party in their house.

Man, I spent two hours, improvising my butt off! SOOO many things did not go as planned and I needed to keep things moving or suffer the consequences (i.e. Bored kids. *gasp!*) But nothing has prepared me for this nugget of terrifying truth.

6) I. AM. NOT. READY FOR THIS!

Boys.

Just… so many boys!

And they were all doing Boy things. Namely, pretending to be kung fu masters… on each other! I was shocked to discover at least twice the boys (including mine!) were throwing wild punches and kicks, using toy swords and foam fingers in a non-Mommy approved manner. Even wrestling on the floor!!

Is this what happens?

You wake up your baby one morning and all of a sudden the “boy gene” kicks into high gear and they’re not happy unless their friends are doubled over in pain?! I had no way of turning it off. I could just imagine the futile conversation I could have had with my husband, regarding this…

Me: “What possesses them to suddenly lose their minds like this?!”

Husband: “Umm… Testosterone?”

Me: “Well, tell them we don’t want any! I don’t like it!”

I am not prepared for Boy World. By any stretch of the imagination.

But all in all, me, the husband, the boy and the house survived the afternoon.

And all of the kids left exactly the way I like: Fed, happy and injury-free.

We even survived our landlord taking THIS moment to sing an aria.

For the entire block. For at least fifteen minutes.

Yes.

Really.

Some things you just can’t prep for, no matter what you do.

I left the few, scraggly dishes in the sink to wait for morning & rewarded myself with some wine.

Well, wouldn’t you?

At least, now that over. Now, I just have to get through the rest of Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year’s.