A Halloween Horror Story In The People’s House: How vampiric Republican regimists and their zombie media work against the insurgent

Washington is moving aggressively to inoculate itself against The Insurgents. By the looks of it, there will be no Republican insurgency.

The series of political eruptions begun when Donald Trump appeared on the scene is losing momentum.

The Republican Comitatus, to use Cullen Murphy’s description of Rome on the Potomac —”the sprawling apparatus that encompasses” political party leaders, pseudo-intellectuals, media, donors and kingmakers—has sprung into action to restore status quo.

Insider Paul Ryan has secured himself the position of House Speaker.

Ask neoconservative kingpins William Kristol, John McCain, Roger Ailes and the Koch Brothers who they’d tap for the position, any position—and the Ryan/Marco Rubio duo would be the reply.

Sen. Marco Rubio, however, is just where the vampiric Republican regimists want him: running his mouth off in the presidential debates. Paul Ryan is thus the right young blood to rein in a rebellion dominated by an older and wiser America.

Incidentally, neoconservative tool Rubio brought up some bad memories, during a September, Fox News broadcast, when he called for a “new American century,” an impetus that elicited a Halloween shudder.

The Project for the New American Century (PNAC) consisted of a group of prominent global interventionists close to or in the administration of Bush II. This group—among whom were neoconservatives Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz—had formulated a scheme for a post-Hussein Iraq well before September 11. By the early summer of 2001, Bush had assembled his neocon posse whose plan to go global could, at the time, be found on the Project for the New American Century’s website.

But I digress (or maybe not).

According to historian Clement Wood, it is an unwritten law followed “scrupulously,” “although omitted from the Constitution,” that the Speaker of the House of Representatives possesses “the czar-like power” “to recognize only such members as he pleases, and thereby strongly to influence legislation.”

After playing hard to get, pampered prima donna Paul Ryan agreed to assume the czar-like powers of Speaker of the House.

Much media coverage was given over to young Ryan’s feminist-worthy demand for a work-life balance. It certainly got the girls on CNN hot, Andy Cooper, in particular. (Try telling a major, private American corporation you want the same. You’ll be told in deeds more so than in words that you can have your bloody work/life balance, but expect to remain at the same grade till you retire, or are nudged into retirement on account of your love of equilibrium.)

But that’s OK. Political work is wealth-destroying work. The less of it Ryan does, the better.

Lost in the victory Ryan scored with feminists was the blow he dealt to the Republican insurgency rising.

As a rule, younger Republicans seem to want government to facilitate diversity, dope and gay marriage (none of which are in the Constitution). The older generation wants its leave-me-alone rights (in the Bill or Rights) restored.

GOP oldies are more likely to want less government than the youngsters they sired.

Duly, old school Tim Huelskamp, Republican representative from Kansas, who had been bullied by John Boehner for defying the speaker, told The Washington Examiner that no other speaker he knew of “would … have as much power as Paul Ryan asked for himself”:

“Those conditions include a request that the House eliminate a rule that allows a member to seek a vote to oust the speaker. That provision is part of the original rules of the House, authored by Thomas Jefferson.”

Ryan haggled until his anti-Jeffersonian “conditions” were met. These were, confirmed Time, that he “emerge as House Republicans’ unity candidate, endorsed by the three major factions of House Republicans.”

The Freedom Caucus folded.

In the Jeffersonian tradition, the most conservative of lawmakers wanted to be able to dissent from leadership without being censured by the speaker.

In the tradition of Boehner of Orange, whom the Left has just about beatified, Ryan wished to further consolidate power in the office of speaker.

The Ryan, regimist takeover had been presaged by a promising coup in the People’s House, earlier in October.

Another Boehner boy, House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, was considered a shoo-in for the position of speaker.

One minute McCarthy was there, the next minute he was … gone.

The magic began with another, older Republican called Walter Jones. Rep. Jones, who is in the habit of signing off humbly as “Walter,” terrified the Californian Republican, Kevin McCarthy, into withdrawing his bid for speaker.

“Walter” did his magic by circulating a missive in which he urged, nay demanded, that “any candidate for Speaker of the House, majority leader, and majority whip, withdraw himself from the leadership election if there are any misdeeds he has committed …”

No one knows or much cares why McCarthy recused himself with a speed that made the zombie media come alive. But CNN’s Dana Bash and her zombie fellow travelers on network and cable confessed to being flabbergasted.

McCarthy’s magic disappearing act was a feat unseen before. The predictable hustle-and-flow of political pimping had been disrupted. (“Walter”: Come out and take a bow. The reason nobody has thanked this patriot is likely because “Walter”—unlike his wicked party members—has tried to atone for destroying Iraq.)

McCarthy was likely fooling around with fellow Rep. Renee Ellmers. More important: He would have screwed-over the conservative caucus rising.

So, Kevin was gone. His departure so unusual did not portend chaos in the ranks, as the mono-cultural media insisted. Rather, it was a harbinger of creative destruction.

Enter Paul Ryan. As pretty as Damien—down to the shiny black hair and piercing blue eyes—the man was equal to the task of restoring the rule of Boehner.

The Republican Comitatus, like the Democratic praetorians, has a media flank. And Fox News’ Megyn Kelly had moved into shooting position. The anchor was first to galvanize the Grand Old Party’s biggest guns, in her crusade against the one anti-establishment Republican candidate who dared call her bluff (and expose her fluff).

Kelly’s love-in with Emperor Charles Koch exemplified the Barbara Walters School of saccharine, sell-out “journalism.” The Kelly woman’s clucking and cooing on that occasion was as disgraceful as it was stupid: She solicited one unflattering, hackneyed condemnation after the other about Mr. Trump.

Hard on Megyn Kelly’s Jimmy Choo heels came the Wall Street Journal, another progressive wing of the GOP establishment, featuring a highly contrived Koch-centric article in which “ordinary voter” Charles Koch sounded off against Trump’s so-called intolerant “tone.” (Yes, borders are an outrageous intolerance, as is the notion of the pre-eminence of English in American life.)