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Is this the most misogynistic press release ever?

Bookworm, film fan, telly addict. Special skill: I can recite the whole of Spaceballs.

Friday 3 January 2014

Like us, you probably spent today blearily returning to daily travel on public transport, lasting the day without regular cheese and Celebration breaks, and getting a handle on your email inbox. The Glamour staff receives hundreds of emails everyday, and many of them are press releases blanket-bombed to the entire office rather than directed at a specific department/person. So imagine our collective delight upon receiving a missive with "Women are sleep walking towards a divorce" in the subject line, from 'midlife consultants' (us neither) Overton Smith.

Pamela Hanson

The mailout starts by stating that the first two weeks of January are the busiest at a solicitor's office, which is likely true, but it's the reason Overton Smith gives as to why that we are particularly interested in.

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In a nutshell, women are 'driving their husbands into the arms of other women', and towards divorce. But how so? We read on. It turns out that these wives are mugging themselves off by 'leaving their husbands out' over the Christmas season. Gasps all round, right? Who are these dreadful harridans and how exactly do they exclude their poor long-suffering husbands? Don't worry, Bernie Overton can fill us in:

"If a woman just goes ahead and organises family events and social things with friends, that she knows her husband isn't going to like, then she could be playing with fire."

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Well. The press release helpfully urges couples to consider all the options before divorce, but really, why on earth is this man even considering reconciliation? This bullying harpy sounds just awful. Organising family events and social occasions? At Christmas time? When her husband might be less than keen? Undoubtedly it's a point of view we could never understand, loving nothing more than that annual round of duty-dictated festive visitations. There's no element at all of slapping on a stoic face during trips to the extended family. 'Handsy' uncle? Xenophobic grandparents? Hyper critical in-laws? Mere quirks surely, and we just love it all. But dear reader, men apparently don't. And they may spend the Christmas period yearning to go back to work and "the flexibility to see their friends/girlfriend." Yes, that's right. All this pesky family time might be eating into the time they would normally spend cheating on their wife.

Overton Smith go on to point out:

"The majority of men that Overton Smith speak to are already having an extra-marital affair, but in most cases, they were 'ensnared' by younger women who sensed that they were unhappy in their marriage."

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Oh those vexatious younger women. No doubt there's a delegation of them in a branch of All Bar One right now, scheming about how they can use their young lady charms to steal a husband who otherwise would be spending his time creating Facebook albums about his wife titled 'My World'. We women would be alright if it wasn't for all those horrendous other women out to get us, wouldn't we?

So wake up ladies, all that nagging and organising stuff could be driving your devoted man into the arms of a younger, cooler, and more laid back woman!

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The press release usefully ends with some tips on how to mend your ways, essentially a mixture of trite proclamations of how any two people in a relationship should behave (and can be summarised as: 'respect each other yeah') and a command not to 'let' your man get jealous of the children.

What a wonderful, heart-warming start to 2014. We have contacted the PR agency with a few choice queries, but so far, they haven't replied. Probably got sick to the back teeth of rabbiting women over Christmas so aren't listening. I think we've already found a contender for douchebags of the year…

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Update: Bernie Muir from WebVine PR has responded to our questions.

Personally, I find the comment about not being judgmental laughable (did they read the title of their own email?), but I'll let you decide for yourselves. Here is the whole thing verbatim:

"Firstly, I would like to assure you that we obviously understand that two people contribute to the breakdown of a marriage/partnership/relationship. We were raising one of the many aspects that contribute to the seasonal rise in divorce stats. We were not being judgemental nor are we seeking to oversimplify what we understand is a complex area. Quite the opposite.

"In our experience, there are many ways in which both men and women often plough on, with the best of intentions, blissfully unaware of how their actions are interpreted by their partners. As the years go by and the family dynamic changes, there is often a failure to accurately interpret their partner's actions arising out of changing needs. Experience and statistics support the fact that this time of year is often the tipping point. Why? We are happy to discuss this in more depth, should you wish to explore this further.

We read many good pieces from the woman's perspective and, indeed, we have much we can contribute to the arguments out there. We do, however, feel that the majority of pieces from the men's perspective are woefully at odds with what we hear at the 'coal face'. When it comes to articles on, for example, male midlife issues, you could be forgiven for thinking it all hinges on red Ferraris, motorbikes and busty blondes.

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There is often a long slow burn towards 'disaster' with ongoing, inherent misunderstandings being amongst many contributory factors. Again, when it comes to midlife issues there is a huge amount of misinformation out there with often the core issues not mentioned at all.

It is interesting that when we ask women to write up their experiences in order to share them with others they are frequently only too willing to do so. We find that, almost always, the men are very reluctant to share their experiences which has possibly contributed to male midlife experiences continuing to be inaccurately expressed in most quarters and has also contributed to the fact that most couples fail to anticipate or comprehend the issues thrown up during this stage of their relationship.

This is obviously a very complex and multi-faceted subject and, if you wish to discuss it further please don't hesitate to get in touch."