Archive for April, 2009

about 30 minutes ago, i thought I had swine flu. symptoms: chills (yes), fever (no), sore throat (yes), muscle pains (yes- but i did run this week for the first time in months), severe headache (yes), coughing (eh. sneezing? same thing), weakness (yes), and general discomfort (YES).

after making several panicked phone calls, i realized i am probably going to be ok. and i probably don’t have swine flu.

so now, it’s 1am. i am in the studio. i should be working, but im not. with a pile of tissue at my side, a lump in my throat the size of a doughnut hole, a continuos flow of tears, and a foggy mind- i am a victim of a terrible attack of the allergies. being [almost] may, i thought i had made it safely out of the season sans the attack. not.

i think all the anxiety from the swine scare caused the plant pollens in my nasal cavities to wage a full fledge war in my nose. the result- 22 sneezes in a row. beat that holly.

I have never really remembered my dreams, even as a kid. Although I did sleep walk very frequently and sleep talk the name of the boy that I had a crush on in elementary school a few times*, I never dreamed. I have, like, 2 memories of childhood dreams one of which included a wasp in my pj’s, which I still think might have been real, and the other being a burglary in which the bandits were caught by the police in the trunk of my mom’s Chrysler LHS, parked in our garage, wearing orange and black stripped jail suits. Apparently they were escaped inmates and apparently they had the keys to my mom’s car and thought it would be a good hiding place. Oh, and they were chained together at the ankle. And I can remember one dream from college in which I thought that I was a War Eagle Girl. And I woke up SO stressed out because I knew I didn’t have time to do WEGP and Young Life. PTL that wasn’t real.

I have always been jealous of people who have really funny dreams, because you know, what’s better than waking up after having a ridiculous dream? I am so missing out. They say that if you don’t remember your dreams it means you are a sound sleeper, which I am.

BUT, in the past 2 two weeks, I have had two dreams about having cancer. I guess, this is what you call a recurring dream. I didn’t actually acknowledge that it was one until right now. Geez, I am such an inexperienced dreamer. The first one was the doctor telling me that I had cancer and wasn’t going to survive. He said, “Holly, you have a rare kind of cancer that no one has been cured of. Your body is not going to be able to fight it.” Folks, do you know what it’s like waking up thinking you have cancer? It is way worse that waking up thinking you are a War Eagle Girl or that you have a wasp in your pj’s or that that there are burglars in your mom’s trunk.

The second dream was last night. I told all my friends and family that I had cancer and wasn’t going to live. It was so sad. That’s all I remember. I said “I have been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors say that I am not going to live.” I was crying, of course, because omg I have cancer and I’m only 21!! Terrifying.

It’s the finals… they are weighing on me a lot heavier than I thought. I will keep you posted on any advancement that is made in my imaginary health… and in the mean time, you can be praying. In your dreams. For my dream. Because, like I said… no one has survived this rare kind of cancer. We need a miracle.

*SO embarrassing when mom asks you the next day who matt is? I said “um um um, my friend. it’s a girl.. she’s from Hawaii.” it made total sense in my head to say she was from somewhere far away… because girls have boy’s names in Hawaii? smooth. I have never told anyone that story before… I think because I always associated it with embarrassment, but now that it’s been almost 15 years… I think it’s ok to share. Yes, in elementary school, I had a crush on this boy named Matt. He was sOoOoO cute. And now we are friends on facebook and… I’ll just be honest, he peaked young.

check out our friend jamie! she is a conceptual artist and lover of all things cheese. she is dramatic in the best way possible. she has a smokin’ sexy new haircut and the most comfortable couches in auburn. her smile will light up your day and her snickerdoodles will warm your belly. this little burst of sunshine wears the cutest sassy pants in town and is the best encourager you’ll ever meet. her creative spirit and passion for art will inspire you. give it up for the newest member of the blogging community!

i know the photography is no meagan gibson, but aren’t they lovely? Can you see the tiny little vines are growing up the fence? One day it will be covered. Come to 524 any day in July for some cobbler!

We planted these little treasures back in the fall, before we made plans to go to Seattle and before those plans fell through and we learned to stop making plans. One might think that Auburn won’t compare, but a walk out the door of my kitchen into the back yard will change your mind. It is such a sanctuary back there! And we are going to drink gallons of mint tea and sit on the deck and watch our berries grow.

have you noticed how great the new design is that went up a few weeks ago? meg won’t toot her own horn so i shall do it for her. I am so grateful for my aesthetically minded friends. show her some love and tell her how much you love these balloons!