Remake my beating heart.
Tuesday January 12, 2016

Remake. I heard this word on the radio the other day and I fell in love all over again. I tend to fall in love with a word and then we are bound together until we need a divorce.

I am divorced from the word 'resolution'. We will never again attend the same party. It's dull. Full of tedium. Grey. Nagging. Lording. Waggy fingered. It's so "I told you so". Nope, not on my shift.

Remake! Re-make. Now we could be an item. It is full of promise. It says "I have fancied you for years but never before have I had the courage to walk inside your shadow... until now".

I will not resolve to do anything or be something. Yawn!

I will, however, be happy to remake myself. To return to me and look at me, treat me like a crumpled bed and remake myself with crisp sheets. (Is there anyone who does not find the ritual of a fresh bed thoroughly cathartic and giving?)

I usually turn my back on this time of year as its newness smacks of trying too hard, failing, falling and curling back inside the old sheets. But I feel strong enough to remake. I feel a freshness and a line in the sand and a gentle breath inside my ribs which is steady, not fast nor slow.

What might we remake?
What has lingered in the background patiently waiting for us to turn around?
Which mood has not been nurtured?
Why are we ignoring the thing that continues to appear?
How might we remake?

I'm very much looking forward to stepping stones with you all throughout 2016. I will stick out my hand to steady you as you have continued to stick out yours for me. I'll bring the peppermint creams.

Comments

LillyPet Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 6:12am

Morning ratg :)
I love the gentle-on-yourselfness about your blog! What a lovely idea, just to smooth something back out so it's fresh again rather than any kind of harsh change!
I found myself awake and thinking way too much in the night, so I'll go with remaking my tired mind. Just gently remembering that mindfulness is refreshing.
Thank you for a beatifully soothing blog. Warm hugs to you and all Moodscopers. LP xx

danielle Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 9:52am

morning LP - hope you are well today? I have my christmas mug out still - mine has snowflakes on so I thought it could stay out longer and double as a winter mug :) xxx

LillyPet Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:14pm

Ahh good for you Danielle! You can keep the cheery spirit going to warm us through these wintery weeks! I'm ok thanks hun. Hope you are too.LP xx

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:43am

LP, perhaps whatever was keeping you thinking at night needs a blog...

readerwriter Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 6:33am

Remake - "breaking our hearts of stone" and giving us real feelings. Well said ratg.

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:43am

Merci!

Mary Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 8:21am

Oh RATG, I knew it was you at the first paragraph. You are a superb writer! And - incidentally I was just reading a piece on new year's resolutions and why they fail. They fail because we are coming from a place of negativity and self judgement. This is why to "remake" is more powerful. It is saying "There is nothing wrong with these components. Nothing needs to change. Things just need pulling apart, cleaned up and put back - possibly in a different order. Re-make is such a lovely friendly word. And - I'm sure glad you have peppermint creams, because I'm not much one for chocolate. (I know - I am relinquishing my "girl" card as we speak!)

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:44am

Hello darling! I always smile when I see you, my face just turns up at the mouth corners automatically.

Soulmansblue Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 9:04am

Hopeful One Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 1:55pm

W

Hopeful One Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 2:17pm

Hi Soulmansblue- the ball is your court. So take the first step if you are looking for a soulmate. I was crying out the same refrain as you so I decided to do something about it on the principle that if the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain. I went on an internet dating site. I comminicated with members of the opposite sex where there was a high level of statistical compatibility in both directions . Statistics are of course one thing and biochemistry something quite else. Admittedly there were false starts but being the Hopeful One I kept going until eventually found someone with whom I felt I had the biochemistry and was surprised and delighted to discover that it was mutual. I had found that most mystifying of all human emotions -love !
Apologies for the solitary W above The gremlines got into the system .

Soulmansblue Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:48pm

Hi Hopeful One,
No worries over the W, gremlins happens to us all.
I'm glad that you found someone who loves you too.
As for me, well I seem to be the kind of man that every woman wants. Well that is when it comes to tea and sympathy.
They all seem to look at me and see someone they can trust and feel comfortable to talk to.
Bring up the subject of courtship and I'm told politely that they told see me that way. I'm great, but not seen as attractive in that way.
So I just keep on singing this song:
Who wants to buy a heart,
One broken lovers heart,
One broken heart for sale!

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:47am

HO, I love that you have found love! Please, please lead us all into daydreams and think about writing it down for us. I am not searching for love but i hope one day I might.
Soulman, have you loved yourself enough yet? I haven't and that is why my door to others is firmly closed...I'm starting with me.

Hopeful One Thu, Jan 14th 2016 @ 7:47am

Hi Soulmansblue- more to the point have you felt any biochemistry with any of the women you meet? They may want you but they have to need you too and vice versa. Just my opinion.

danielle Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 9:50am

Morning RATG! What a beautifully written piece! I intend to re-make my old lively self, the one who is carefree and happy and jovial. But if I need a day or two back in the old crumpled sheets I will not be too hard on myself, baby steps. I have to second Mary - you are a truly gifted writer and I love the little gifts you give us that come packaged as your blogs - thank you xxxxx

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:49am

What a wonderful thing to say. Thank you. You will be carefree and jovial again, so will I. Just believe. There is no rush x.

Norman Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 9:55am

Thanks ratg, wonderful writing as usual. Today I'm devoid of energy and having a duvet day. Remake? More like resurrection needed! Anyone got new batteries?

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 7:53pm

Duracell Bear here! I'm wishing you well and hoping you just managed to fluff up the duvet and give it a shake, so that if lands gently upon your weary body, Norman.

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:51am

Hello Norman, are you off colour physically or have you slid a little? I hope you read this because if you have slid, I hope you will let us hold you up. You have put in so much work that we will not let you fall back to zero. That said, little falls here and there are nothing to fret over so...keep us posted. Always here to hear.

Terence Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 10:23am

I remade my barometer, the cranky one in the front porch, the one that didn’t move, the spider’s house. It was in the darkest days but I made a little space in the chaos and carefully disassembled. I cleaned each part then oiled the wood and polished the brass. As I finished it I thought, ‘There see, I haven’t ruined everything’. I tap it every day and am confident that the spider found a better place.
Thank you RATG for ‘remake’, so much more empathetic than upcyle x

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 7:54pm

How talented are you Terence, to remake a home for Sammy the spider AND fix your barometer??!! Cool dude!

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:52am

That is a gorgeous picture in my head Terence!

susan Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 10:28am

I'd be willing to bet you were giggling about words as an infant:) Love your idea of 'remake' (agree with you about 'resolution', it's definitely a word to rebel against) and am thinking about remaking the movie, adding some colour, doing a bit of editing... Thank you as always, ratg. xx

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:54am

Hello susan, giggling about words as a child yes! With one of my brother's...hearing my granny's old Scottish words for things made us collapse in laughter especially things like 'cludgie'. I'm laughing all over again.

Leah Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:05am

Ratg,
So thoughtful yet whimsical. I love words too but use them like a handbag until I am sick of them then throw them out and get a new word or phrase.
Remake to me feels like too much work, I was never good at making things only a mess!!Also what if I remake myself but make a worse job and am left with a more crimpled bed- believe me I can do that metaphorically and in real life!

So remix, may work for me, not starting again but looking at what I have at hand all my resources all my experiences and trying a different mix, a different perspective a different approach.
Good luck with your remake.

What happens to words when they are discarded? Wonder is there is a recycle depot for unwanted words?

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:56am

I know where unwanted words go...into Donald Trump's speeches :-) I'm not even being political, he's just a very grumpy person. Hello Leah, good to see you, remix is good x.

The Gardener Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:33am

First thoughts 'not another of those endless "make-over" programmes! Not at all, lovely stuff. My mood of 'optimism' has definitely not been nurtured, it's been starved. Respite day - being spent in doing everything possible to reduce the stress induced by Mr G's refusal to help himself. Our painter noticed that Mr G walked quite well - if I suggest that he does anything well, to give him hope and encouragement, I get tongue pie. Unlike darling Leah my new venture - a whole new house - is going brilliantly - I have to go and 'purr' over my new kitchen several times a day. And, Mr G likes it - double success!

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:56am

I can hear your purr!! Wonderful news x.

Hopeful One Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 2:21pm

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness. The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!" The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!" Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:57am

Love it HO! Where would I be without you?

Anna Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 3:02pm

Wonderful blog RATG and very well written.

Strangely I'm kind of the other way round when it comes to resolutions. I have always made achievement based ones (rather than give up this or do better at that), and checked them off throughout the year. The last couple of years it was more "work/life balance" type achievements so I learnt to ski, sail and re-joined a band. This year I've been strict with myself and taken a step back. Life is not all about achievements. Health and love are the foundations on which everything else is built, and both of those were slipping down my priority list, so that's all I have on my list for 2016: To focus on health and love. Happy belated new year everyone.

LillyPet Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:25pm

You too Anna! Xx

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:58am

You are being flexible and its key! Wonderful, happy new year to you too x.

Maria Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 3:41pm

I echo the sentiments of the others -- what an inspiring and well written blog. Thank you RATG! My husband has been in the hospital (an hour away) for a couple weeks now and I have been running myself ragged with holding down the fort while spending most of the day with him. In combination with Lex's great blog yesterday (just read today) and your brilliant blog this morning: I believe I am going to remake myself into the person who loves and takes care of myself first. For me that means restarting my yoga/meditation practice. There I have put it out there for all of you wonderful moodscopers to see. Helps hold me accountable :)

susan Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 6:28pm

Hi Maria, often we don't realize how much is taken out of us at times like this until the experience has passed. But if you can take good care of yourself during this time, it will really pay off. And let others look after you a little bit too, if that is possible. All the best and I hope your husband recovers well. xx

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 9:59am

I was going to say exactly what susan said. Yes, you first, own oxygen mask before others xx.

susan Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 3:42pm

Anna, what a perfect focus for a good life. All the best with it. xx

The Gardener Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 5:04pm

Maria - I hope hour husband's illness was something from which he will recover completely. Hospital visiting is acutely stressful - trying to fit normal life in round it. I do hope that you have the opportunity and the will to take care of yourself. I've said before here that the next person who tells me I 'must have a life' is at risk - unless they come and 'sit' personally, or pay me the fortune necessary to find help. Respite today, I've taken full advantage. The delightful helper said Mr G had fully participated - when I got there he did not greet me and started recounting his ills before we got to the car - now he is into full evening litany. Thinking ear-plugs, then can't hear music - turn it up loud and won't hear Mr G.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 8:03pm

Glad you've had a respite day today, TG...it must feel so annoying when Mr. TG is compliant with a helper and is back to normal Mr Grumpy TG when he is back with you. Turn the music up! Bear x

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 10:01am

Very frustrating TG! I'm sending love x.

Bearofliddlebrain Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 8:01pm

RATG...thankees! A ve ve inspiring blog - I hoped that when I re-started my batteries last weekend after a nightmare of a few weeks, I would take care of myself more: not a resolution, but a re-start and possibly a remake! Love Bear x

Maria - hoping you DO look after yourself so you have the energy to look after your husband. It's very wearing traipsing back and forth and just trying to find new things to relate to someone in hospital...or just sitting quietly. Easy for me to say, but I hope you get time for some peace and quiet for yourself...or time to listen to some music that you enjoy, or read a book - anything to nurture yourself. Bear Hugs x x x

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 10:01am

Bear, you pour love into us all. How can we help? Might you write about it?

The Gardener Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 8:50pm

Oh bear, great big bear hugs needed. Sitting here, listening to the most marvelous medieval music from Ascona, in Italy - having gone through use, abuse, manipulation, told what a dreadful wife I am, petulance, sarcasm. The doctors hid nothing in telling me what I was in for - thought, big head, that I could reason my way round these problems. Thinking Italy, thought of an amazing time in the 70's involved in interpreting. We had the Miners strike, very active IRA - I went to Rome, and this lawyer was on TV talking about a body found in Palermo harbour with concrete boots - he had 'told' on his rich boss who was doctoring wine. Idly playing on the web, I find the charismatic lawyer is still alive, famous, been defending prisoners and going on hunger strike himself - son famous too. Lovely memories eating under the stars in a restaurant on the Via Appia - me and my second son, second in command Italian Communist party and his son, and the lawyer and his now famous son. Les told me almost to stop using the 'rear mirror' the other day - but with such evenings memories and music keep depression at bay (I hope) and you lot out there are almost touchable - j'embrasse tout le monde.

the room above the garage Wed, Jan 13th 2016 @ 10:02am

You travel so far in your memories TG, its truly amazing to read x.

the room above the garage Tue, Jan 12th 2016 @ 11:18pm

Hello all you beautiful bunch, apologies for not replying yet. I had a couple of unexpected and fairly large family things today (this week has covered punctures, hospital, burglary and an engagement...it's not been dull!). I must sleep as have an early start but...thank you for the kind responses and all is well. Just very tired. More inspiration for blogs!! Love ratg xx.

Suzy Mon, Jan 18th 2016 @ 6:40am

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