Public Service Announcements

The Archive

Life. It sucks balls. Our parents didn’t ask our permission to create us, which means we were existence raped. How can we undo this horrible mistake? Getting out of bed, having to do things, never having enough money for all the drugs we want; it’s almost like a demon designed our universe to cackle at […more]

Human beings suck ass, unless they’re you. If you’re normal, you have a burning desire to sadistically harm others for the sake of a good laugh. Getting pleasure from the pain of others is what makes humans great. Therefore, being completely insane in both public and private will make good things happen. Don’t think about […more]

Once upon a time, I had a wonderful girlfriend. We hung out all the time and did activities together, including sexual ones. But now we has broke up, and I lost my best friend and someone who really enjoyed touching my penis. In dealing with this tragic loss, I have discovered many ways to deal with a […more]

I am writing this from a combination Church’s Chicken and White Castle. I made a New Year’s resolution to be less racist, so I will simply say a person of unspecified racial origin misheard my order and repeated it back to me in such a thick Indian accent that I couldn’t understand it. Those who […more]

I am in a Wendy’s in Canton, Michigan. Someone is babbling in a foreign language. It probably doesn’t sound like babbling to them, but it sure as shit does to me. They have an attractive redhead in the Wendy’s commercials, however the real Wendy who the restaurant was named after, the daughter of the founder, […more]

You might be wondering what new year’s resolution to make. Most people forget about their resolution within 6 weeks of making them, so the best resolution is the one that is easy to remember, or one that can be done in 6 weeks. The simplest resolutions are the best. Since I am a super genius I will […more]

Whoever allows suffering causes it. When one has the means (money) to help another in desperate need and instead uses it to buy a gift for someone who doesn’t need it, an evil act is committed. It seems like generosity but it is misdirected. There are far more good deeds done than at other times […more]

Many people enjoy shooting and killing innocent wildlife. This is a natural thing that humans do; but humans are satanic shits. If you hunt and kill rabbits, deer, birds, or other innocent wildlife, you are guaranteed to be raped in the ass painfully for all eternity. The hunters’ asses will break open, but the devil […more]

I am a white man who lives in Michigan and I believe that our governor has no emotional stake in the tragedies affecting the black people of Detroit and Flint. He does not care if people in Flint have lead in their water. He cares not at all about Detroit’s public school system and what happens […more]

People are entertained and content when they are watching a TV show or movie that they really like. So content, that they sit still for hours and do nothing. They are in a trance; hypnotized by the shiny rectangle. It is your duty to free people from their vision being locked on the screen of […more]