I always felt like I was intruding on others when I knocked on the door of a participant for the first time. It is an odd moment that repeatedly puzzles me. Thankfully, as when visiting many other families, I was met with a ‘sunshine’ smiling face when I visited Susan HOU [侯關慧言]. Susan is a first-generation immigrant from Hong Kong. Born as a war baby in China in 1937, she moved to Hong Kong in 1950 and then to New Zealand in 1965 with her husband Lawrence HOU [侯欽賢].

We spent the whole morning talking about her life in the different places that she had once lived. Speaking in Cantonese brings us close together, like good old friends. When I asked her about the Queen's Service Medal that she was awarded in 2009, she modestly replied she has given it to one of her grandchildren and her service to the Chinese community isn’t worth mentioning. She would rather talk about her four sons and their families.

On the wall, she hangs a series of four panels of Chinese seasonal flowers, spring orchid, summer bamboo, autumn chrysanthemumand winter plum blossom. For Susan,what she cherishes most are the symbolic meanings of these flowers that represent the different qualities of a gentleman. High up on the top of the shelf at the corner wall, she displays the photographs of her sons Sam [志明], Tim [志斌], David [志輝] and Andrew [志𠎀] — the four gentlemen.