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How can I be the most supportive in this situation?

A relative of my bf had a heart attack a couple weeks ago and was on life support up until a few days ago. My bf is upset about the whole situation, especially since he didn't agree with the plug being pulled. Now we play the waiting game. When the relative dies, should I go to the funeral? Should I send his parents and sibling a sympathy card? (His parents send me Christmas cards, birthday cards and when my grandmother died, sent me a card)

My bf knows I'm here for him. I've told him many times over the last few days. Is there anything else I should be doing? I feel so helpless and I hate watching him in pain.

Just be there for him as much as you can. When my husband's dad died last year, he was in the hospital 4 months prior to his death. So when my DH came home I would make him a little something that he likes which was grilled cheese and veggie soup. Hey men like comfort food too!! But I do wish you and your bf good luck in the rough times ahead of you.

If your boyfriend wants you to go, you go. And I'd see what the family wants in his memory; a lot of families prefer donations to a charity in lieu of flowers or cards these days. A lot of folks donated to the hospice that cared for my parents, and that meant a lot to me.

If you are close enough to the family to send cards back and forth to each other, then I would say that this is an occassion to do so. If you and your boyfrien live together I would say that you should send the card/ flowers jointly and if he goes to the funeral and it is alright with him, go with him.

Being present with someone in pain we can't fix is one of the hardest things a lot of us will ever do. Let your boyfriend direct what he needs from you. If he wants to talk or cry, let him. If he wants to do something to take his mind off how he feels, go with it. Personally, I'd send a card. It seems like the nice thing to do, especially since his family has been supportive of you, at least by mail. Even if your boyfriend doesn't agree with the ending of life support, there's still been a loss that should be acknowledged.

Yes, attend the funeral and send the card. They usually already have flowers taken care of, and I think more people appreciate people giving them a meal, like a casserole or a pie, since they are too busy dealing with other things and too preoccupied with sadness to have the energy to do some normal things. Try to focus on celebrating his life. Try to help out wherever you can. People in pain cannot focus well on remembering to pay bills, do chores, etc. Another family gathering a couple months from now might give them all strength and is also a good way to check up on all of them. Some people fall into a deep depression and no one even knows.