No More iPhone Sexting: Apple's Cranky Old Lady App

I cannot wait to download the app to my children's future cell phones, as this new method filters abbreviations and certain words based on your child's grade level and the current vernacular. The texts either won't be sent or received, or certain areas will be redacted. Whoo-hoo! Doing my parental monitoring for me. I like it.

But that's not all. The new technology will also correct grammar and discourage LOL-speak, nudging kids back to proper language usage. Additionally, if you have, say, a Spanish-language class, the app will require that you study said language via text message a certain number of times. If you fail to do so, your texting privileges will be revoked. Really!

I thought I had freedom of expression at age 15, even though really I didn't. I would have died for an iPhone at age 15 (back when cell phones were "car phones" that took up the entire armrest) and would have been forced to accept this technology, just so I could have the iPhone, and thus look as cool as everyone else. I certainly would have wanted to retain my assumed rights to privacy, even if that meant sexting at an inappropriate age. My 15-year-old self might have even started an email campaign to Apple HQ demanding that teens not be treated like babies.

But today, this gives me one more reason to crave an iPhone. For myself, and for my poor repressed children who will "never get to do what they want"!