Jug Suraiya on The Hindu-TOI war of ads

Shup: Boring! The Hindu boring? Listen, buddy, let me wisen you up…. What The Hindu has is gravitas. In fact, it’s got gravitas with a capital G.

Gup: Gravitas? Isn’t gravitas that thing that the guy discovered when he was sitting under a tree and the apple fell on his head?

Shup: No, that was Newton and what he discovered was the Law of Gravity. It was The Hindu which discovered the Law of Gravitas, which involves making everything you say seem weighty and profound, through the use of Capital Letters for everything, including knock-knock jokes. Which in The Hindu are called Knock-Knock Jokes. That’s Gravitas, and that’s what The Hindu has. Unlike the TOI which makes everything it says seem light and frothy. Like that TV ad The Hindu did which showed young people being interviewed on the street, and who couldn’t correctly answer questions on current affairs but knew everything there was to know about Bollywood trivia. The ad hinted that all these clueless people were TTOIRs, or Target TOI Readers.”