I come from a family that has always been very good with handling finances, and have learned to handle my own finances very well. I have one credit card, an excellent credit score from being co-authorized on my parents' card, and no debt from student loans. I have recently graduated college and currently have a job where I save as much money as I can.

My girlfriend comes from a family that is very much the opposite of mine. Lack of steady/well paying jobs for both parents and difficult times have placed them in a spot where they consistently borrow from my girlfriend, and also asked to open a credit card in her name, quickly overcharging the card and refusing to pay it off. She will have a large amount of student loan debt once she graduates.

We wish to get married and start a family, but I fear that when going for a mortgage or a car loan we may get denied if her name is on the application because her credit score is low from the non-payment of the card in her name. We have talked about coming to them and saying that when we do get married the card must be closed out because we don't need the debt hurting us while we try to start a life and family together.

While I would not have a problem paying the debt myself, I fear backlash from the situation and refusal about closing the card. I am asking for advice on how I should handle the situation, and if there is any way to stop her parents should they try to open another line of credit in my girlfriend's name.

Sun Aug 07, 2016 9:00 pm

oldguySenior Member

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quote: but I fear that when going for a mortgage or a car loan we may get denied if her name is on the application because her credit score is low from the non-payment of the card in her name. We have talked about coming to them and saying that when we do get married the card must be closed out because we don't need the debt hurting us while we try to start a life and family together.

Your fears are well-founded, the message boards are full of "loans to relatives". It's a shame that you have to go thru this, it is unpleasant. In the 40 years before we retired we owned 3 rental houses - the first rule of landlording is "never rent to a co-worker, an acquaintance, a friend, and never ever to a relative, you need an arms length formal agreement with a STRANGER."

I would not wait until the wedding, fix it now. Your gf needs a little time to get her affairs in order, get the SL defined and into her name only, etc. Then her 'derogs' and 'late pays' will be in your/her control, that planning will help get the credit score back on track. Plus you'll be sharing the responsibility as you build your joint finances together.

The fact that gf comes from a financially clueless family may serve her well, she will know what NOT to do - and that is often more useful.

Anytime there are inter-relative loans involved, Thanksgiving is going to be unpleasant, either the creditor or the debtor is going to be mistrusting the other and applying quiet (?) reminders (pressure?). Way better if the parties involved use banks for their banking, that's what they are for.