In the middle of June, Prince William County Schools announced they’d be participating in a USDA program to provide free meals to any children up to age 18 in the county’s Title 1 schools during their summer sessions. No questions asked, a kid shows up and he gets a free breakfast or lunch. At the local elementary school in my neighborhood, today was the first day of the program.

All sorts of people were overjoyed at the prospect of feeding “hungry children,” and if they were really plugged into the entitlement mentality they’d even talk about how we should serve all those children suffering from “nutritional insecurity” more diligently who might have starved to death between the end of school and July 8th because they couldn’t get free food at school. Never mind that they’re living in housing with average tax assessments of over $150,000 alongside streets where there are so many automobiles they can’t fit them all into the driveways. There are hungry children out there, and by God, we should be giving them free food with our tax dollars, and our school system should spend whatever money they need to in order to take this food from USDA and make sure these kids get it.

It kinda warms your heart now, doesn’t it?

My kids aren’t starving, but they like school and heck if they’re handing out freebies maybe we oughta get a few of them. We totally missed out on the Obama Phones, our mortgage didn’t get “adjusted” by TARP, and we’re not getting any of the kinds of handouts that illegal aliens with U. S. born children around here get. This was finally our chance to get something for free. I was a little concerned about them confronting the horrors of emaciated children who hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch since June 15th, but they’re pretty tough kids. I figured they could handle such a harsh reality if need be.

Other than the kids in summer school, there were three other kids from the neighborhood eating lunch. And as shocking as it might seem, not a one of them looked like they were any worse for wear for being cut down to a single meal a day for the past three weeks.

What happened to all those hungry children who desperately needed these handouts to avoid certain starvation? Don’t they exist? Or did their parents, of all things, actually feed their own children without having to rely on this program? Were the numerous other means-tested state and federal programs like SNAP and TANF actually meeting the nutritional needs of low-income families that are in danger of choosing to starve their children if they weren’t getting fed by our school system?

Goodness, what would happen in our society if we actually didn’t need to turn local school systems into entitlement program providers. Maybe they’d do something like, well, I don’t know, focus on educating children or something.

The actual reality here is that the welfare state is running out of things to do with the resources they have been seizing from the taxpayers. They’re inventing programs on top of programs and dropping any semblance of means testing or eligibility requirements in order to try to encourage people to participate in them. Let’s get everyone dependent in some way on some entitlement program, grow the welfare state, and let’s do it for the children, and you heartless conservatives better not cut the budget of these programs that serve so many needy people. Socialism can be cool, if everyone gets a piece of it for themselves, so goes the thought process here.

As for this program, if my kids eat two meals a day at school instead of home between now and July 26th, I can afford to buy more beer with the money my kids didn’t otherwise eat up. In effect, the federal government will be subsidizing my alcohol consumption. Maybe all of us who do, or will take advantage of this open entitlement program in such a way might be able to celebrate something the federal government does for us with our cold and frosty Obama Beers.

The opinions expressed here are solely the views of the author, and not representative of the position of any organization, political party, doughnut shop, knitting guild, or waste recycling facility, but may be correctly attributed to the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. If anything in the above article has offended you, please click here to receive an immediate apology.

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Of course, if you can’t drink all that beer, switch to sugarladen soft drinks
so you’ll get fat and unhealthy, then use Obamacare. You might be given
a personal dietician! Who know what’s hidden in there?

Today’s lunch freebies score: Greg L family 2, all others ZERO. I’m beginning to wonder if the point of this whole program is to feed my children exclusively. I also have to wonder what the costs per child are that the school system is bearing for one eight year-old and one eleven year-old.

Wow. Now if we could only get them to bus children from all over the county to the freebie breakfast and lunch schools, we could all partake. Can we get them to feed them supper too? That would take care of my wife’s alcohol consumption in addition to my own beer addiction.