Need To vent! BM wont allow SD to celebrate her sisters Birthday!

So as the title says my SD is not allowed to come to DDs 1st Bday because it would be for more than an hour or 2.

SD came to me all school holidays while I was on Mat leave to help her mum out so she didn't have to book day care, I looked after SD while she was ill so her mum didnt need to use her sick days, DH agreed to SD spendding an extra few hours with her mum on mothers day to suit the plans they had made!

We ask if SD can come to a picnic for DD 1st Bday and she says no

They don't have anything planned,
BM just doesn't want SD to be away from her for the whole day an hour or 2 would be fine but not a day out! (her words)

Its a long weekend she will still have 2 days with SD (if they had plans I'd understand) SD is in tears sobbing because she adores DD And is really sad to miss her Bday but SD is too worried and scared to tell her mum how upset she is

Im really sick of always doing right by others to keep the peace and be civil because its so one sided.
One set of rules for us.and another for BM Im fed up of it
Wwyd

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Children eventually grow up and see things for how the are. That may not help now, but continue as you are and she will eventually see. My teenage step children are seeing it as DH has never lied to them but also doesnt ever bag out BM. I agree with having another little party when SD is around.

So as the title says my SD is not allowed to come to DDs 1st Bday because it would be for more than an hour or 2.

SD came to me all school holidays while I was on Mat leave to help her mum out so she didn't have to book day care, I looked after SD while she was ill so her mum didnt need to use her sick days, DH agreed to SD spendding an extra few hours with her mum on mothers day to suit the plans they had made!

We ask if SD can come to a picnic for DD 1st Bday and she says no

They don't have anything planned,
BM just doesn't want SD to be away from her for the whole day an hour or 2 would be fine but not a day out! (her words)

Its a long weekend she will still have 2 days with SD (if they had plans I'd understand) SD is in tears sobbing because she adores DD And is really sad to miss her Bday but SD is too worried and scared to tell her mum how upset she is

Im really sick of always doing right by others to keep the peace and be civil because its so one sided.
One set of rules for us.and another for BM Im fed up of it
Wwyd

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Is there a court order? Or anything in writing? Why not just pick her up and have the party? Who cares what BM wants? The sd wants to come your not kidnapping her she has the right to know and be involved with your husband

We do have a court order but if BM needs to swap we do as long as it suits (we have never said no yet) we even missed out on xmas last year so she could go on holiday!
nothing is good enough this is the one thing we asked and Nope (we didn't even ask SD did) still NO!

She uses emotional blackmail on us alot but it appears she is happy to let SD down
You know BM even got mad at SD for making DD something in art class and not making anything for BM :what: the poor girl is 11 and she is trapped in the middle poor girl

We will have a 2nd party, it wont be the same but at least its something!