20.5.08

I've been drafting and redrafting this in my mind. Over and over I've sat down to write it, but it always kept coming up too emo. Today, a little piece of the puzzle finally fell into place though.

I quit my job a couple days ago, well actually I quite over two weeks ago but the date on my notice was up Saturday night. While I'm living at home I'm going to focus in on my art and development skills, try and get a game or two actually built and generating revenue. I've built within my head a lot of resistance to this path, going over major concerns bit by bit and building many solid arguments as to why not to do it. But at the end of the day my impulsive side won out, as it often does, and here I am with a whole lot of time on my hands.

I can't really say that I'm sure this will work out, a single person working on their home computer hasn't been a particularly successful business model for a while now. On the other hand though, what I can say is why I'm doing it, and why it has to be done this way.

This blog post was written many months ago. I wish I could say that was a down point in my life, but for about four years prior to that and to this day I've been stuck in a pretty bad fight with depression. Right now I'm on a high, I don't consider suicide every day! What always kept me alive through the lows though was a couple things, first, I hate pain, second, it wasn't my right to inflict that much pain on everyone around me.

I'm the last to make friends and the quickest to cut and run from those relationships... hell I'm not sure I honestly know the meaning of the word friend, perhaps they were all just passing acquaintances. In some strange twist of life though, I live for other people. It used to be what got me from one minute to the other, knowing that I had people left to live for right then that second. My whole decision making rationale is based on how it'll help or effect others.

There are entire worlds and societies that live inside my mind, growing and evolving, shifting and blending. I'm not sure when exactly, but eventually I came to the decision that that was my purpose for being. My reason to exist, to open up those worlds for others to see and explore, for someone else to escape into even if only for a short time. The problem with working for EA or any other big name company then, is that I won't be creating those worlds. I'll be creating their worlds and their marketing departments latest pet project worlds. Sure I could probably just consider it deferred living, but why would I want to spend any time not contributing to my reason for existence?

So I guess you can consider this the figurative opening of my own company; even if the literal opening will be some time in the future, near or far. Oh and you don't have to worry about EA or ActiBliztrosity buying me out. I've thought long and hard about those possibilities, and honestly my soul isn't worth the money, besides, it doesn't belong to me.

10.5.08

Angels are the remnants of the Isobel Empire, named for the supposed founder, Isobel the Conqueror.

ArchitectureThe Angel approach to architecture is very austere. They generally build rectangular structures with chamfered vertical corners, generally left open on the East and West sides to the elements. They rarely use archs or curves, and don't generally use spires except on barracks which double as look out points.

Prominent FiguresThe Serraphima -First of the Angels and the only one to have blue wings. She rarely strays far from the capital, but when in battle she wields her halberd with deadly skill.

Name Pending -The commander of the Angels on Almony. Despite being almost a million years old she has only recently risen to the title of commander. The general flavor of her strategy is very patient. She has placed herself far from Ventrair, waiting for either the Demons or the Ventrairian Defenders to over-extend themselves.

Recent EventsOne Week Ago -The demons laid siege to the capitol. The youngest Angel warriors have been falling as chaff before the Demon onslaught, however the Demons have lost significantly greater numbers as they've been using fresh crafts as dog soldiers.

One Year Ago -The great factories closed their doors. The Angels have officially run out of liquid biomass, preventing them from creating any more troops without dismantaling already over extended infrastructure.

Sorry I haven't been keeping up on updating the Wiki. I now have a wanted pages section though, to help me get back on track.