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Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. -Anonymous-----------------------------------------Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind -Dr. Seuss-----------------------------------------Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me.

International Babylost Mothers' Day

Share of Madison, WI Support Group

The Share of Madison support group meets the fourth Wednesday of every month, usually at the Alisha Ashman Library branch in West Madison. We meet from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Please contact me directly if you are interested in attending.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I am coming out of the fog and seeing the beauty that exists when the sun shines brightly on the world. I took the prenatal vitamins out of the back of the closet and took one without feeling angry. I drank some soda because I needed the caffeine to help my headache, and not because I wanted to punish my body for not being pregnant anymore. I laid my hands on my belly and felt the soft slope of my own body, and not the void of a life that left me. I felt joy from seeing a picture of my coworker with her newborn son.

Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds. Time provides an opportunity to work through your pain. If you can work through your pain, you can learn to appreciate what you have and the time you have left. Every day, you make a choice to either get up to face the day or to put a pillow over your face. Making the choice to work through the pain takes energy and courage. It is working through your pain that will move you to the other side of tragedy - the side that enables you to feel grateful for what you have survived and what you still have. It's a difficult journey, filled with setbacks, tears, disappointment. Potholes. You can learn so much along the way. You can survive, and you can come out on the other side.

It's nice to read another mom's blog who is further down the road of grief than I. I especially appreciated that you wrote, "Time does not, in fact, heal all wounds." Would that it did, then we could just sit in our rooms and listen to it tick-tock by.

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My story

My name is Cynthia, and my journey to motherhood has included seven miscarriages. My husband and I chose to wait until we had been married for five years before we decided to have kids. We survived three miscarriages in fifteen months. My potholes. When our son was two years old, we tried for another child. We had four more miscarriages.

This site is "My Yellow Brick Road Has Potholes" because I feel a little like Dorothy. She knows where she wants to go and wants to get there so badly, but there are troubles along the way. I have stumbled, fallen, and gotten bruised along the way. Nobody told Dorothy the journey would be so painful. Fortunately, she has the support of kind and able loved ones. Along with hope and a strong spirit, she made it to Oz and then back home. With loved ones along the way, the journey is bearable. You may feel shock, sadness, bewilderment, rage, jealousy, or a number of other emotions. Your journey may not be what you thought it was going to be or even should be. I encourage you to put on your ruby red slippers, close your eyes, breathe, and allow yourself to hope. Your dreams can come true.