In case you’ve been busy being unimpressed by ancient geoglyphs, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess whether Neil Lane will officially bless this season with his presence. Two more nights, Bachelor Nation. Three short hours (then 2 more…), and then we won’t have to hide from the spoilers anymore. Arie is about to do… whatever it was that made Caroline so angry last week, and on Wednesday morning…

In case you’ve been busy checking Machu Picchu off of your bucket list, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess what kind of breakfast Arie cooks up for a Fantasy Suite morning. Our journey is almost at a close, Bachelor Nation. Last week Arie surprised us all when he sent Tia home in favor of Kendall, and we’re left with two obvious favorites who we know pretty much nothing…

In case you’ve been busy truffle hunting with a wise local man and his adorable dogs, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess what horrors Kendall has in store for her hometown date. And so we are down to four, Bachelor Nation. Last week, Arie said goodbye to Jacqueline, Sienne, and Bekah for being too smart, too skeptical, and too young, leaving him with three more traditional Bachelorettes and…

In case you’ve been busy practicing your can-can and trying on costumes made entirely of feathers, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess just how many women Arie will leave in tears. Hello, Bachelor Nation! It’s the week before Hometowns, and that means we get the episode with all. The. Crying. Seriously, go watch the trailer. See what we mean? This just further cements our faith in Sienne, Tia,…

In case you’ve been locked in your hotel room “investing in yourself,” ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess why Lauren B. hasn’t opened up to Arie yet. Hoo, boy Bachelor Nation, we don’t know if last week can be topped. It may have been Bachelor on a Budget, but Krystal’s absolutely ridiculous temper tantrum mid-group date was an all-timer for us, mostly because of how badly it backfired….

In case you’ve been drinking your own pee in the woods right next to a source of abundant fresh water, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess how Krystal reacts to not being the most special girl on the group date. Hey Bachelor Nation! We’ve reached Week 5 with Arie, and that means a few things. For starters, Arie has french-kissed every girl like a first-grader trying to claim…

In case you’ve been training dogs to jump on your back for some reason, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess whether one of the women is crazy enough to speak in the third person. It’s Week 4, Bachelor Nation, and that means we’re leaving the house! Like many a Californian looking to “rough it, but you know, not really,” Arie and the ladies are packing up and heading…

In case you’ve been showering a woman you just met with insanely expensive gifts, ABC is starting up again with a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess which Bachelorette’s life’s worst moment gets a promotional sponsor. Hey Bachelor Nation! It’s week three, and that means we’ve reached maximum panic time for women like Bibiana, who haven’t been able to spend enough time with Arie for him to learn their first name. If…

In case you’ve been desperately trying to come up with “racing” themed group dates, ABC is running a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess what petty thing will eat up forty-five minutes of airtime during the cocktail party. Wow, Bachelor Nation. It’s only week two, and we’re tired of how much ABC is leaning on Arie’s “career” as a racecar driver. A GIRL WAS MADE TO MAKE ARIE SMELL HER ARMPIT ON…

In case you’ve been driving around in a circle (or dipping a toe into the Scottsdale real estate market) for the past couple years, ABC is starting up again with a weekly Bachelor Fantasy League. Join us here every week as we try to guess which terrible racing pun ABC won’t stoop to. Oh Bachelor nation, it’s that time of year again! The roses have been trimmed, the rosé has been chilled, the mansion has been disinfected (for now), and…