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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach

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My son who is 5 years old is having some issues with aggression.

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My son who is 5 years old is having some issues with aggression. He keeps getting in fights in school and I have tried time outs, taking things away, even just talking about why he is fighting and why he reacts this way to these's situations.His father is in the military and away alot that might be the issue but he won't talk to me about it. I need help in stopping this aggressive behaviour.

Hello and Thank You for consulting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about the issues with your son. Does he only misbehave at school? Have you had a conference with the teacher? Is he on summer vacation now? Has he ever been to counseling? Exactly what type of aggressive behavior does he manifest? Thanks!

when he is at school he has been in the principle's office a few time for hitting and I have had a few conferences with his teacher and the hitting happens when he gets in a disagreement like if a child doesn't want to play with him then he will hit them because they don't want to play with him. He is in summer camp right now and i am having the same issue they told me that they are thinking of kicking him out if this behaviour keeps happening. He has been in counceling during the school year and we were making progress on the most part but now it seems like we are back to square one and the only thing that has changed is his dad is home but he is leaving again till christmas on Wednesday.

The aggressive behavior is alot of punching and kicking..He is bigger then most children his age and could seriously injury someone.

Hello...your son may indeed be having emotional difficulties accepting the absence of his dad. He does not want to express his feelings to you about the situation and is taking out his feelings on other kids. He probably saw other kids' dads at school dropping and picking them up and your son cannot comprehend why his dad is absent.

Additionally, it sounds as though things were better when your son was in counseling. It would be advisable that you continue with the counseling. Also, you need to implement a behavior modification plan for your son. Instead of focusing so much on the negative behavior, start praising your son more when he is behaving or has had good days. Keep track of his behavior by rewarding positive actions with a sticker chart. After 10 stickers or so, your son receives a special treat or a special outing. The key is consistency. Make sure your son knows exactly what the right behavior is to receive stickers.

Also, you can role play certain social situations with your son. You can act like another child and your son acts as himself. Go through many different situations...one or two a day...that your son usually gets in trouble for. You must teach your son the correct behavior.

Also, summer camp and school should be implementing a behavior modification program that rewards your son for good behavior.

I do wish you all the best with your son and I hope that this information was insightful and helpful. If you need more assistance, then let me know.

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