Tag Archives: love

No matter how hard things get, it is important we remind ourselves of the blessings we have been bestowed with.

We all have our good days when we feel invincible. Everything goes just right and it seems as if there is not an ounce of misery in the world. And then there are days when no matter how hard you try, everything just seems to go wrong. It does not matter how much you try to convince yourself, there is a sinking feeling in your stomach that just won’t go away and you feel as if you are trapped in your life.

On these days, it is hard to get out of bed and face the world. No matter how hard things get, it is important we remind ourselves of the blessings we have been bestowed with. Here are a few simple things you can be grateful for when you are feeling low and down;

You Woke Up This Morning

Each new day means new opportunities and endless possibilities. Be grateful you woke up this morning and that you are alive. You still have the chance to turn things around and make the best of your life. Be grateful that you are alive and healthy. There is so much life has to offer. You just need to be able to see it.

You Have People Who Care About You

When things get rough, remember your friends and family. Do you have a loving mother who stays up late when you do not make it home on time or a friend who always has your back? The love you feel from the people around you is indeed a blessing. Seek help from those who are close to you. Their support will guide you through the darkest times and you will be able to push yourself to be the best you can be.

You Are Able To Enjoy the Little Pleasure of Life

Have you ever taken the time to notice the beauty that surrounds you? Be thankful for all the simple pleasure life offers. The calm weather, the beautiful sunrise, or the laughter of a friend, these are all simple pleasures in life you can be grateful for.

The Challenges You Have Encountered

Life is filled with challenges and every day we find ourselves dealing with a new struggle. Be grateful for all the battles you have won and all the challenges you have encountered. All these setbacks are what have made you who you are today.

Being Able To Access the Internet

You are reading this just because you have access to the internet. The internet has revolutionized our world. You no longer have to join classes or visit the library to read books. All the information you need is a few clicks from you. Be thankful you have access to the internet as it allows you to connect with people who are far and wide. You can learn pretty much anything online. The next time you are feeling low, teach yourself a new skill or better yet, start a blog so you can share your thoughts with the whole world.

What is the happiness effect? Happiness. Everyone wants it. There’s no denying that. Some people seem to have it more than others. Why is that? It’s because they care about being happy and are mindful of it. Happiness will come to people who want it. If you are unhappy it is a sign that you are not open to the thought it. What can you do to change this attitude? Be more aware of how you feel. I guarantee that if you do, the happiness effect will take over your life in a positive way.

Happiness Attracts Positive People

By being genuinely happy, more people will flock to you. They will sense the enthusiasm in your life and want to be surrounded by that positive energy. People do not want to hang around someone who is mopey and constantly complaining about their life. It brings each other down. You want to be with others who are vibrant and speak positively of their environment and the life they lead. If you find yourself around negative personalities, it might rub off on you. Analyze your social groups of friends and limit your engagement with those you deem bad seeds because they can have a detrimental effect on your happiness.

Happiness Makes You Grateful

Happy people are generally those of us aware of the concept of gratitude. They appreciate the life they have been given and do not take things for granted. They are aware of how lucky they are and set aside time to recognize this fact. If you want to be happy, learn to accept what you have in the here and now. Whatever stresses or desires you may have for the future, set it aside and feel the love and comforts you have in the current state. Gratitude will shift your mindset in a positive direction and in turn will make you happier.

Happiness Boosts Your Confidence

When you are happy, you emit confidence. People see you as having a stable life and sure of themselves. I know when I go to a social setting and see people with wide smiles, they are having a great time and soaking the moment in. They display confidence when speaking to others because they do not fear being judged. Happiness raises your self-esteem and makes you feel proud of all the good qualities you have. If you lack confidence, then it might mean you are lacking happiness as well, so learn to be happy with who you are.

I love seeing positive energy anywhere I go. We all want each other to be enthusiastic about their lives and want to help get each other to that state of happiness we all deserve. There is far too much negative energy in this world and no one wants to see people fail. Think about all the positive effects that being happy can have on your life and you’ll see that it is a worthwhile investment to implement into your life.

I debate from time to time whether I truly had a strong bond with my siblings. I have three younger sisters and an older half sister who I’ve cared for my whole life, but we’ve been through some rocky situations and fights that make me question, was I a fit brother? Family means everything to me and looking back, after developing as an adult and a brother, I found that my sisters were my rock in the darkest of times.

Fights, clashes, angry fits are very common when it comes to sibling rivalry. My personality doesn’t match with any of my sisters while growing up and it led to some pretty intense situations. I have an awful temper and am selfish and mixing those traits together with my siblings usually led to tears and high blood pressure. But you know what, we moved on and got past the bickering of our younger years.

My sisters were always the one I could rely on to have fun. I remember the nights when we would play “JAWS” in the dark. It was a game where everyone gathered on one bed and then the shark would grab someone by the foot and drag them down to the floor. It was a stupid and potentially dangerous game, but it made us laugh and scream. They were memories that have been solidified in my mind because of the joy that we all shared by being with each other.

I never invested my emotional feelings to my sister. I needed them to see me as independent, strong and capable. But once we got older, I started to see them as a resource to unleash any frustration I was feeling from my professional life. They became a group of sisters I could rely on to take me in and give me their perspective on things. I never did this when I was younger, but I find the ability to do this so valuable nowadays.

Today, we live far apart in the United States and only see each other once or twice a year. But when we do see each other, it’s usually a lot of catching up and fun and games. We don’t usually communicate by talking on the telephone, but we always find a way to connect with one another. Maintaining that communication is key because that is how your bonds over the years will stay solidified.

My relationship with my siblings might differ from yours, but it all boils down to one thing: family. If you have a strong bond with your siblings it can create a lifetime of memories that you can reflect on as you become older. They will always be there for you when you ask for help. If you don’t have that same connection with your siblings then I suggest that you take the time to invest yourself in the relationship. If they don’t give back in return, then you know well enough that you did your part and made a sincere effort. Life is about the love we share for one another and the first love is the one we share with those we grew up with.

Life as a Buddhist has been mellow. Buddhism has always been a religion I’ve been inspired by but never practiced. My parents never enforced it but at the same time, I’ve learned to live my life according to Buddhist ideology. There have been times when I wanted to branch out to other religions, but I always came back to Buddhism because of how open it is to their followers. That is appealing to me.

I don’t know the ins and outs of the Buddhism. The main thing I concentrate on, that stems from the religion, is that you should be nice to everyone you meet. Buddhism teaches us that life is full of suffering. By understanding this, you realize that everyone in this world suffers at some point in their life. In order to get past that suffering, you have to improve yourself and acknowledge the pain. It is not saying that we should dwell on the pain but rather focus on what is making you sad and find a way to beat that sadness. When it comes to the point where you are no longer sad about anything, you achieve Nirvana, which is a “happy and heavenly” state.

Helping people overcome any suffering is why I write the Self Starter blog. People nowadays have so many things distracting them from their lives. They have inconveniences that prevent them from doing things that they want. If they had the time, money and power, I’m sure my readers would be doing something other than their full-time job. But we endure and at the same time we suffer. The Self Starter blog is meant to provide tips, advice, and a way to grow out of the bad habits we’ve formed. It is my thought that when you follow good habits and advice, you’ll start to suffer less.

The fundamental teaching I follow is to be kind to everyone. I do not know their circumstances or the struggles they endure. I have a tendency to be empathetic to everyone I meet. I recognize that we all live our own life and have our own personal struggles. I can’t hold the mindset that my troubles overshadow others. It’s a totally different situation. So when I see people suffering even due to the tiniest thing, I encourage them to grow stronger. But I also understand that it may not be as easy as I would handle it.

Buddhism is an amazing religion to follow if you want freedom. There are very little guidelines and rules. As long as you understand that you should be kind to everyone you meet and that life is full of suffering, then you can easily pass as a Buddhist. The religion allows you the freedom to practice other religions and does not discriminate against any one person based on the color of their skin, ethnicity or sexual orientation amongst other characteristics. So I encourage that if you are in search of a different kind of faith, try to give Buddhism a chance to and see how it can enlighten you.

You know the feeling. There’s something stirring in your heart and you cannot wait to do what you have to do. Whether it is a passion project that you’ve been pouring your heart and soul into or a date you’ve been looking forward to, enthusiasm fuels you. It is a wonderful feeling and we need to embrace it as much as possible if it comes to us.

We far too often do not take advantage of the enthusiasm that fulfills our life. As a result, we only get to utilize a small part of it and don’t get to see the full wonders of what enthusiasm can do for us. Rather than allow this feeling to last for hours and hours, we allow it to be a part of us for less time.

Be mindful of enthusiasm when it hits you. When you start to notice that you are getting quite excited about something; drop everything else and go after it. Nothing else matters at that point because you need to always go for what is on your mind and will make you happy. If it’s not possible to rush after your enthusiasm, then take the time to write it down in a notebook or document it somewhere so you can refer back to it. This way, you can regain your enthusiasm upon remembering it and then acting upon it when it’s most convenient for you.

Dedicate your time to pursuing this excitement. If you have a great idea that suddenly rushed into your head then set ahead a block of time to hash it out. Fill a notebook with any and all possibilities and ideas that flow. This is the greatest block of time that you can use because your enthusiasm for the project will bring about creative things you normally would think about. Your best ideas are the ones that come out when you are head over heels about a project. Things will not seem like a chore during this phase and so use this excitement to get as many ideas as you can down.

Block out the distractions that may come your way. Do not allow someone else to take away precious time from your excitement. This is important because, above all else, you need to value what is most important to you first. If you allow something or someone to take away your focus, you lose the possibility of creating something innovative or fresh. You lose the opportunity to focus on your personal desires which can lead to something grandeur and fascinating. Lock yourself in a room, take advantage of this surge in energy, and invest in your project.

When you have used up all of the excitement and enthusiasm you have in your soul, take time away from whatever it is you were working on and then when you want to re-excite yourself once more, share it with others. Tell people about the things you’ve been working on. Tell them about a date that you went on and the qualities you liked about the other person. Get yourself that high once more and learn to have fun with what you’ve been through. As a result, your enthusiasm will be contagious and might even inspire others to be excited about their own things in life. Enthusiasm is a fun thing to pass around and not an emotion to keep to yourself.

I love enthusiasm and people who know how to embrace it. We often fail to get into the mindset of realizing how important enthusiasm can be. We need to be bold and not be afraid to see the enthusiasm and take it by its horns and rein it in. Sometimes it does not come as often as we would hope and so when it does come, it is a sign that we need to invest ourselves and work on it. I hope that in writing this post, you dig deep down inside your soul and figure out what it is that excites you and as you ponder away, take the appropriate steps to contain it.

Of all the deadly sins, lust is the most dangerous. This is because one of our most valued concept, love, can turn into lust without us realizing. People do irrational things for love. We kill for the ones we love. If someone you didn’t know hurts someone close to you, out of love, you would want to harm done to that person. We have celebrity fans who become fascinated and obsessed with their idols that they become stalkers, hoping for a chance that the celebrity will love them back. I don’t blame them. Sure they’re crazy, but unrequited love is one of the toughest aspects of life. Ultimately, however, it is important to reclaim your thoughts and not let your lust for someone control you and shape you into a person you’re not.

Unrequited love affects us in several ways. The first is that it lowers our self-esteem. Finding love is a two-step process. First, you have to be attracted to the person. Second, they have to be attracted to you. Now if it only goes one way, then one side is going to feel pretty damn awful. In dealing with the rejection, you question your attractiveness and become more willing to pointing out your negative qualities.

Your fascination and desire for a person may grow when they become someone you know you can’t have. This is the part of life when love turns into lust. When we realize we can’t have something, our cravings for it grow stronger. No longer are they seen as a crush but rather a prize we seek. Getting them to love you becomes a challenge; one we think we can accomplish.As a result, we end up doing things we normally would not do.

Our rationality is challenged when we come face to face with unrequited love. In order to appease our crushes, we may do things that is unlike us. We could participate in hobbies that we may not like; try to gain an acquired taste for food we normally do not eat; force ourselves into social groups of friends to be closer to the person. We think that by molding ourselves into a person with similar qualities, we will become more attractive to them. Unfortunately, this will only cause you to lose your identity and a sense of who you are.

It’s not worth it. Sure unrequited love sucks but erasing your identity is worse and can feel shameful. By lusting and fawning over someone you know will never love you back, you are essentially relinquishing your self-worth and self-control. You are telling another person that they can manipulate you into doing whatever, as long as you are with them. It’s harsh but is losing your dignity worth the lust? Probably not. With so many people out there looking for love, you are bound to find someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated.

With that said, I want to leave you with a quote I found while scouring the web.

“Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.”

Have faith that love will come. And give up on your unrequited love because it makes no sense to seek it.

Everyone you encounter in your day to day life is facing a battle of their own that you may not know about. Just like others may not know what you are internally struggling with, you do not know what the person on the opposite end is dealing with either. With all the challenges that we face in our lives, this makes it more important for us to always practice kindness and to be mindful of when someone else is in need of it.

We are all worthy of experiencing and giving kindness in our lives. It is something that needs to be shared because it will lift the spirits of others when they are in contact with it. It can turn a bad day good and in return, bring more positive energy into our world and push the negative ones out. Problem is, people tend to forget to be kind especially when they are placed in stressful circumstances.

When you are panicking or freaking out about something in your life, this is the most important time to be as mindful as possible when it comes to kindness. Learn to always be kind to others even when a mistake has been made. If you have to discipline an employee, do it in a respectable manner as opposed to a patronizing one. One should avoid being condescending, stuck-up, and insulting during these unfortunate circumstances. It can make all the difference in how your peer may see you as a supervisor, a co-worker, or even a friend. Nobody wants to hang out with someone they know will go ballistic and be rude and degrading if things do not go their way.

When you encounter strangers in the street, including the homeless and those less fortunate than you, be careful to not become judgmental of their situations. Having empathy will shape you to be a more considerate individual and will make you inclined to be kind more often.

There are different things you can do to provide kindness to others. First and foremost, you should avoid saying anything hurtful and negative to another person and always take their feelings into consideration. Second, donate your time and money to a cause that you feel strongly about. By reaching out to different organizations, you put yourself on the front line of fighting for something you care deeply about. Third, surround yourself around kind people. Being around optimistic and friendly nurturing individuals will instill the same qualities in you. Finally, do an act of kindness every so often. Pay for someone’s groceries or his or her next meal. Send a gift to a friend for no reason. All of these things can help you get in the spirit of kindness and not only will make the other person feel better, but you’ll feel happier as well.

Kindness is so often forgotten in a world that can often look scary. People from all different backgrounds clash with one another all the time. But slowly, if we all take the time to be kind and learn to respect one another, the world can gradually shape into a whole different place than it is now. Let’s start one person at a time.

Let’s face it. We live in a world that forgets how to be grateful. We always want more materialistic items and we become bummed out if we do not have the means to get such items. We feel discontent with the way we live our life and we complain about it and are hard on ourselves. When stress enters our lives we panic and struggle to understand how to deal with the emotions that follows. Unfortunately, as much as we try to maintain an optimistic attitude about life, we can’t seem to shake off the troubles that come our way. Look, I understand the struggles and the hardships that may be affecting you, but if you read any personal development blog or book, there is one key concept that can lay the foundation to you having a more fulfilling and happy life: gratitude.

Gratitude is the ultimate truth. Being grateful is a way of living and how all of us should live our lives. But sometimes we falter and fail to be grateful. Maintaining a sense of gratitude helps us stay grounded and makes us mindful of our circumstances. It prevents us from overreacting when things go awry.

The concept of gratitude is simple: be appreciative of what you have in the here and now. By focusing on all the good things you have in your life; things that may not be accessible to other parts of this world, you gain some perspective on what truly matters. Sure it may be nice to have all these worldly possessions and be rich but in the end, those possessions and being rich will not define who you are and will not ultimately make you happy.

People often say that they do not have anything to be grateful for and I chuckle at the remark. If for one, you are able to read the text on this page, then there are several things happening. Not only are you alive, with another day under your belt to help you work towards your dream, but also you are able to see; are literate; and have access to technology that allows you to read this text. Some people on this planet are blind; have never studied English or understand literature. An abundant of people has never laid eyes on a computer. I’m sure if they could, they would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

We forget about gratitude when we are hurt and things do not go our way. It’s okay to be in pain and to feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. But when you feel in such a way, take the time to acknowledge the pain and come to the realization that it is not the end of the world. Be mindful of the fact that things could be much worse than it is. Breathe and recognize all the wonderful things that have been allowed into your life.

One thing I do to make me more mindful of gratitude is to have a gratitude journal. Every morning, after you wake and freshen up, take out the journal and write one sentence declaring anything that you are grateful for. Do this for a week, then a month, and then a year. It’ll open your eyes to everything you have going on in your life and you’ll be amazed at the wonders of the world.

Gratitude is the ultimate key to life and will be the foundation of any other personal development concept that you learn over time. Being appreciative of what you have been given and being present in your environment and the life you currently have, will make you more happy and content. In the end that’s what we want; happiness, and the first step will come with learning how to apply gratitude into our lives.

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Who is Self-Starter Anh?

My name is Anh Phan and I am a self-starter and life coach. I provide the tools you need to get things done. Join my community which encourages members to support each other in a positive manner. I can help you foster happiness in your life. I am revolutionizing what it means to be productive and content with what we already have. Let me help you become a self-starter! Read more here