S.R.Claridge writes Mystery and Romantic Suspense novels. Her work has been said to have the energy of Dan Brown, the mystery of Mary Higgins Clark and the humor of Janet Evanovich. Claridge novels will take you to the edge of your seat, keep you guessing until the very end and ultimately warm your heart. It is on the pages of every S.R.Claridge novel that Mystery and Sensual Suspense collide.

For more information on bookings, interviews and upcoming releases, please visit the author website and Facebook fan page.

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Monday, October 22, 2012

The Orange-Obsessive Zone

Someone asked me a
question that is difficult to answer.In
fact, I don’t think it has just one answer.The question posed was this:“If someone
you love is involved in something that you believe to be dangerous, and you
have tried to communicate your concern, at what point do you give up and walk
away?”

I don’t know. I suppose
it all depends upon the situation; but here’s what I do know.

Love says fight for
them, for their safety, for their physical well-being, and for their emotional,
mental and spiritual balance.Reality
says you cannot continue to beat your head against a wall if they are not
listening to you and don’t care about your concerns.So, how long do you fight for someone you
love?

Time, experience and
heartache have taught me one thing:Love
and respect must be mutual for a relationship to flourish. If you take your
concern to someone you love and they refuse to listen; then what is the point
of further talking.If you open your
heart to reach them and they ignore your words or worse yet, tell you that you
are deceived; perhaps it is time to let go.

Life is about making
choices.People can choose to live out
of balance or balanced lives.The burden
of that choice falls on their shoulders, as do the consequences. Obsessive
behavior destroys relationships because with that obsession comes isolation
from those who don’t share in the obsession. It often takes relationships that were once
meaningful and causes them to have a fake, surface-level feel.

For example:if I eat oranges every day for every meal and
it is the only thing I eat; is that a healthy choice?Sure, oranges are rich in Vitamin C and have
qualities that are good for my body; but a diet of only oranges is not
healthy.Then, if I grow my own oranges
and all I talk about is oranges, and I attend orange conventions and speak on
orange growing; what becomes of the people in my life who don’t like
oranges?What do we then discuss?Eventually, with a diet of only oranges, my
skin would begin to tint orange.I would
stand out as odd-looking, that is, unless I surrounded myself with other people
who only ate oranges.Then, I would fit
in and never have to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of being around those
that were not as unbalanced in their orange consumption as I had become. By
becoming obsessive about oranges, I have isolated non-obsessive people from my
life.I’ve created my very own
orange-obessive-zone.

The point is, there are
things in life that have goodness in them, when they are taken in
moderation.Too much of a good thing can
quickly become a bad thing.Obsessive
behavior destroys relationships because it is a life that has spiraled into an
out-of-balance tailspin, casting everyone and everything else aside.

If someone you love is
living out-of-balance, and you have tried with all of your might to show them
the damage their lifestyle has and is causing, then it might be time to walk
away.If they don’t respect you and love
you enough to care about your concerns for them, then why are you continuing to
beat your head into the wall they have built?

Pray for them.Be there if they ever decide that they need
you.Love them from afar.BUT… if watching them destroy themselves,
their family and their friendships is painful, then don’t watch.Looking away isn’t turning your back; it’s
simply guarding your own heart from the pain they have caused. You can only try so many times and endure so
much rejection and be told that you are deceived and wrong so many times before
you finally have to accept that they do not care. Your opinion doesn’t matter
to them.

Addictions come in many
forms.There are workaholics,
spendaholics, sexaholics, alcoholics, drugaholics, religionaholics,
sportsaholics, etc.There are mental
addictions, physical addictions, emotional addictions and spiritual
addictions.ANY addiction is unhealthy
and throws life out of balance. There is no “right” addiction.There is no “harmless” addiction.If someone is addicted to something… if they have
made something their entire existence…if they eat it, drink it, breathe it, think
it, love it, live it and nothing else… it IS harmful to them, no matter how good
it looks or feels.

When you confront a
loved one about an addiction and they are more willing to lose you forever than
to loosen their grip on the compulsion that has taken over their life… that’s a
problem…that’s an addiction…and they need help.The painful part is that you can’t force them into caring.You can’t force them back into a state of
balance.

Only they can change…and if
they refuse…then maybe it’s time you let go and walk away. ~

2 comments:

It can be so hard turning away from a relationship with someone you care for when they get involved in unhealthy or risky endeavors. I've been there; my brother hasn't spoken to me in 10 years--not even at my dad's funeral. But you have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of your spouse and kids. It sounds selfish, but it isn't. Self-preservation is a necessity.