“Yes, we admit our mistake,” says Blackheart. “Of course this doesn’t lessen the university’s commitment to sound agricultural policy and responsible research. Nor does it reflect negatively in any way on the integrity of our technicians.”

When pressed on this point one of the labs’ senior researchers, Dr. Seymour Krellburn, admitted that the release was “probably unintended…Actually, someone just accidently dumped the wrong packet of seed into the manure bin. It could have happened anywhere.”

According to Nostradamus’s Community Relations department, the Agronomy Labs and

Mondiablo are already at work to prevent the weed from becoming a national crisis. The plan is to develop of a highly selective herbicide, provisionally named “Agent Green,” that can be spread by earthworms and possibly by ants–to be introduced via the plant’s roots.

“Frankly, this had better work,” said Krellburn. “If it doesn’t, we’ll all be manure.”