Fandom: Criminal MindsParing: Morgan/ReidRating: PG-13 for language/R for implied proposition/NC-17 by the time it finishes, but not yet.Warnings: Umm, if you don't like the idea of guys kissing, don't read this. If you're not all about the Reid/Morgan lovefest, don't read this.Spoilers: Minor for "Elephant's Memory" - in that sense that it happens after that, but nothing from the episode itself.Word Count: 4400A/N: This is a continuation of something I was working on at the end of April. I still haven't gotten to the good stuff, but they've made it further, and I promised penguinlady that I'd post up.

Morgan rolled the glass bottle between his fingers, back and forth, back and forth. How do you start a conversation like this one? His hands were clammy with sweat and condensation. His mouth was dry except when he drank. And drink he did, each long pull of cold beer somehow better than the one before, more necessary. Especially when he watched his every swallow tracked by focused eyes. Hands so often gave people away. This was no exception. White knuckles around a glass of Coke. When was the last time he'd loosened up and drank? Morgan tried to count back. It had been at least six months, no, longer, since he'd seen anything but soda in his hands? He coughed. "So, I've been thinking?"

"You have?"

"Yeah. 'Bout what you said to me, you know, when we were in Texas?"

"You brought me out, to a public place, to reminisce about my high school torment?" His voice cracked a little. He started to stand.

Morgan's hand shot out, clasped around his wrist. "No. Wait. It's not like that. I talked about it with -"

"You told someone? I said that because I trusted you to keep it a secret. I could have been fired for what I did, and you talked to someone about it. My god, who did you tell?" He shook.

Morgan ran a hand over his head. This was not going as planned. "Yeah, look, no specifics. I didn't give your name, but I needed to tell someone. I was going crazy trying to figure out how I could help."

His laugh was bitter. "You don't have to help. That wasn't why I told you. I don't need help, didn't ask for it, remember."

"Yeah, I know you didn't. You never do. You never ask for it even when you should. And you should have said something, damn it. You should have found me when you were getting so fucked up. I could have been there for you then." Morgan's frustration surprised him. He hadn't realized how much until he'd said it.

"Well, I didn't. And I'm not now. So what am I doing here? What are you?"

"Okay, so it's like this. I think you need to get it out of your system." Morgan swallowed more beer. Hell, the bottle was empty. He signaled for another one.

"Just like that? You want me to what? Talk it out?"

"No." Morgan watched skinny arms tighten over a skinny chest in a classic gesture of leave-me-alone. Long fingers clutched the strap of the ever present message bag, and he pictured what they would do clutching him. Where was his damned beer? "I don't think you should talk it out. You talk too much." The waitress dropped the bottle on the table. He didn't care how much he peeled out of his wallet for her. It was enough to know the drink was there and she was leaving. "I think someone - a lot of someones actually - did something terrible to you. And it lingers. I don't expect it'll ever go away."

"It hasn't yet," he whispered. "Even when I wish it could."

"So this is my thought. If you can't talk it out of your system, why not, umm, get it out a different way?" He was flushed, hot with embarrassment and desire and the need to make everything better, even if that meant making everything worse at the same time.

"What are you saying?"

He sighed, went back to rolling the bottle between his hands. "For a PhD, you can be pretty stupid. Come home with me. Tonight. Right now. Whenever. Be the aggressor. Get the jock. Bang me on the football field, or, you know, a wall or something, and move on with your life." He forced his eyes to meet the shocked look he was receiving across the table. "Maybe it's dumb, but I just thought, Reid, you gotta know, I'd like it. And it might help?"

Reid sputtered soda across the table and onto his sweater. "You? What? No!" He scrambled for napkins.

"No?" Morgan shrugged. "Hey man, no problem. Just thought it might be a good release for you. Help you get past it." Play it cool. Pass it off. Reid was allowed to say no, but Morgan would not be embarrassed.

"You're offering me, what exactly? A pity fuck? Morgan, I thought we were friends."

"Dude, would I offer if we weren't? Look, it's no biggie. We're cool. I'll go get more napkins. You want another drink? Shoot some pool. I've seen you clean up. The sweater vest distracts people from how your arms are so long. You're all over the table." Not that he'd notice or anything. Not that Penelope hadn't busted him watching. He drank deep. "And your hands are stable for someone so twitchy."

"You? You noticed my hands?" He frowned.

"Sure. I don't like to lose. It wouldn't go with my reputation. So I scoped my odds. How are you a PhD and so oblivious? Man, everyone wants to be your partner." Morgan shook his head, stood up. "I'll go get you that refill." He rapped his knuckles twice on the table to make sure Reid had heard him. "Be right back."

Away from the table, Morgan wanted to slap himself. All Penelope's fault, really. She'd been the one who had cooed when he told her about it, kissed his forehead, talked it out .

"Baby, just talk to him."

"Yeah right. And say what? I'm totally straight, love the women, their smell, their curves, everything, 99% of the time, but something about you makes me all soft. Shit Mami, I may as well buy him flowers and put a dress on myself."

She had laughed. "You've got great legs, and Spencer needs a nice plant for his desk. Do it up."

"Can you please be serious here? I don't, not since, look, this is not me."

"Morgan, Baby, apparently it is you. Maybe not a big part, but it's there. You're the smoothest man I know, and one of the most self confidant."

He'd turned away. She knew. Why was she avoiding the huge elephant in the room? "Garcia!"

"I also know," she continued as if he hadn't said a word. "There's some shadows that lurk there in you. Seriously though, who's gonna get those dark places like Spence? Baby, talk to him. I insist."

"You insist?"

"Uh huh. now get out of here. I'm trying to sneak out early to get myself dolled up. Last guy before Kevin shot me, Derek. If I can get back in the saddle, then you can figure out how to take this ride." She'd rubbed his back in gentle circles. "It's not only you in this. Maybe he wants this as much? You'll never know if you don't talk to him."

Morgan sighed. "Thanks, Mami. You know I love you?"

"Always. Now go. And stop destroying my pen." She'd scooted him out the door and shut it definitively behind him."

Yep. All Penelope's fault. "One Coke, no, make that two. And extra napkins."

She rested her chin on her hands and stared across the bar. "Mmm hmm. Hook a girl up, would you? All geeky and shy like that. And those fingers. I bet he'd be fantastic in bed." She blushed. "Don't get me started on that mouth." The bartender grabbed another napkin and scribbled something on it. "If he's available you tell him to give Meri a call." She stuck the note into the breast pocket of Morgan's shirt. "Thanks, Sugar."

"The name's Derek, not Sugar. And I don't think you're his type." The urge to grab the phone number and shred it burned in his lungs. Who did the bartender think she was? But just as soon as Meri blanched under his growl, he knew. "Sorry Meri. Reid, he's, umm, he's got a lot going on right now is all." He patted his pocket. "I'll make sure he gets it."

"Do that. And don't worry, Derek, I can be real gentle if that's what he needs. Enjoy the rest of your night." With that, the bartender turned to serve another customer.

Reid hadn't moved from his deer-in-headlights position. Morgan watched him swallow reflexively. His hands - those long fingers that Meri the bartender had noticed - beat a nervous tattoo on the table. "Napkins and a new drink. Spence, it's fine. Really."

"I don't know if it can ever be fine."

Derek flinched. He tried to meet Spencer's eyes, failed, then put a hand to Reid's chin to force the issue. "Yeah. Yeah, it is. You and I, we'll drink, play a game, you'll kick my ass. I'll find a nice honey to pick up and hey." It hurt his fingers, burned deep in his throat, but he spat it out anyway. "Bartender over there. her name's Meri, and she thinks you're cute. You can go home with her, if that's more your style."

Reid opened and shut his mouth. He adjusted the rumpled collar of his shirt in a way Morgan had been itching to since Reid had walked in the door with it crooked. "While there's research, both empirical and documented, that proves facing your problems head on is the best way to overcome them, I'm not sure this exactly what they meant."

"Who is the 'they' that you're talking about? Look, I know you've got all that genius IQ inside you, but this is something I know about, you know, personally." Morgan chugged his soda, and damned if he didn't wish it were whiskey.

"Oh. That was, wow, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said something. The dichotomy between reality and research sometimes gets blurry for me."

"So now I'm a cute charity case?" Reid rolled his eyes. "A psychiatrist could retire off of you, Derek. You're a good guy, hell, a great one. Best one of all of us probably. But you don't need to play the bad guy to help me tackle my own adolescent bully issues. I already have plenty of therapists retire off my sob story."

"It's not like that, Reid!" And now Derek was yelling. People were staring, and losing his shit was not going to get Spencer into bed with him, or up against a wall, or on his fucking knees, or Jesus. Morgan tugged at his own collar, adjusted his jeans.

"You're making a scene."

"Listen. And please, Dr. Reid, listen carefully." Morgan sat down across from Spencer, met his eyes. "Okay, yeah, suggesting we go to bed to get you over high school bullying probably wasn't one of my better moves." He licked his lips, ran his hands over his scalp. "But you missed the important parts. One, I want you in my bed. And two, I'd enjoy it." The waitress from earlier came by unbidden with a fresh beer, and if Morgan hadn't been so intent on making Reid get what he was saying, he probably would have kissed her right then and there.

Spencer swallowed more of his drink. Morgan resisted the urge to lick at his Adam's apple. "I've read about trauma survivors, experienced some of it myself. Sometimes," he reach out a hand, covered Derek's. His fingers were damp from condensation and freezing cold. "Sometimes they think they want something, but it's more of a cry for help than an actual desire. How many women in jail for prostitution were victims of sexual abuse? The statistics are appalling."

Morgan bit the inside of his cheek. He refused to speak, just watched Spencer attempt to dig his own grave.

"So maybe you just think you want this? I lay something heavy on you, something I had no business dumping on you in the middle of a case when tensions are high. Then you think I might get killed, and you couldn't fix it in anyway. That's serious emotional distress. Couple that with the fact that I'm the antithesis of everything your coach was." He lifted his shoulders. "It's okay to confuse protection and lust. Those are two of the most commonly mistranslated emotions."

"Spence, please. Yes, some of this has to do with protecting you. You faced off a killer without a jacket on, and you blocked my shot. I couldn't have stopped him if I tried. You, oh God, Reid, you could have been dead. So yeah, part of this is wanting to keep you safe." Morgan slid his chair around the table so his body was against as much of Reid as possible. "But I find myself staring at your hands and picturing them on me. I want to push your hair away from your eyes, kiss your mouth swollen, brand your skin with my teeth. I want your skinny self wrapped around me, calling my name when I'm buried inside you. Spence, wanna do all of that. Wanna call you Baby Boy under my breath during meetings and watch you blush. We'll both know it's because of what we'll be doing later that night." He tightened his fingers on the neck of his beer bottle and prayed he wouldn't come in his pants like a teenager. He leaned forward, let his breath ghost over Reid's ear. "Does that sound like protection or desire to you, Doctor?"

"From me?" Spencer's voice cracked. "You want that from me? Derek, you've never said anything like that before. I figured..." Reid tucked his hair behind his ears. "I've been waiting for you and Garcia."

"My goddess and I got our own understanding. We do things our way." Morgan smiled. Spencer probably didn't need to know how they rolled just yet. "So, pool?"

Spencer's hands shook. He inhaled, muttered something Derek wished he could understand. "I could play. I'll even let you break." They made their way over to the rows of pool tables and found themselves an empty one near the back. "Rack 'em up, Morgan. Apparently you need the advantage."

"Shut up, Reid. I'm gonna kick your skinny, white ass." His non-existent skinny white ass that Morgan still couldn't figure out why he wanted quite so much. The least this crush, if that's what it was, could have done was stop by now. Over two years, and still he wanted. Usually he liked strong women who knew what they wanted. Reid wasn't either of those, but he was smart and sardonic and strong and vulnerable.

"Some time tonight, Derek?"

"Right. Sorry. Lost in my thoughts for a moment." He winced. "You rack. I'll break." Leaning against the table seemed at best painful, and at worst obvious, with the tightness forming in his jeans.

Spencer quirked his mouth into his custom half-frown. "Morgan, you look uncomfortable. The game isn't a challenge if you can't play at one hundred percent. And what's the point if you aren't enjoying yourself?" He placed a hand on Derek's shoulder.

Morgan leaned into the warmth and almost purred. Desire slammed through him, catching him off guard. He coughed and bent forward to hide the heat on his skin. "Reid."

"Yeah, Derek?"

"My offer? It was never about pity." He wasn't a coward. Morgan had promised himself he would never lie about desire again. And his team needed to trust his honesty. Always. Confronting his past, if nothing else, taught him that. He turned to stare at Dr. Spencer Reid, forced himself to meet his eyes. "You don't need pity, Spence. And I'm sorry if that's what you thought."

*****

Reid's throat vibrated when he swallowed. He had a tickle that he couldn't quite remove. "Fear does funny things to the mind, Morgan. After I was kidnapped, I couldn't trust my judgment. Logically, I knew that I had been injected with Dilaudid, and was experiencing PTSD as well, but it was a challenge. I jumped at shadows. I thought that the Dilaudid had shaken something loose inside me, and I'd be joining my mother at the Sanitarium." He tucked his hair behind his ears. He bit his lip. "Umm, do you? Do you ant to get out of here?"

"Yes." Derek's breath was warm, a mix of the sweet of soda and the yeast of the beer. "Where do you want to go?"

Reid's body suffused with the power that Derek offered. The choice was his to make. "Your place? It's closer and I'm out of coffee." He watched Morgan's muscles relax, watched his body take up more space. Timidity vanished, replaced with confidence and ease.

"We can do that. Yeah. Come on." They headed toward where they sat, away from the pool tables.

Spencer thought about what he had just suggested. Derek's car was in the lot, but he had taken the metro. He searched his brain to see if he had a clue this was going to happen, that Morgan had been going to lay out what he did. His mind said no, but his body disagreed. Spencer knew he'd showered slower, dressed more carefully, tried to do something with his hair. Maybe, some mischievous part of his psyche whispered, maybe you were hoping you hadn't read Morgan wrong? "I took the metro over here. Wasn't sure about parking, or even exactly where I was going." He heard the apology in his voice.

Derek grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "Mine's here. It makes things less complicated." He shrugged on his leather jacket. "Let me settle up. Be right back." The hand Morgan clapped on his shoulder squeezed for a moment longer than necessary, telegraphed more than any words.

"I'll be here." Reid liked the relieved smirk on Morgan's face, the cocky I-can-do-this veneer over a what-if-I-can't look. That was Reid's favorite. He slid on his own jacket. Morgan had a way with everyone. The bartender smiled and patted Derek's hand while she gave him his change. The hint of a blush in Derek's cheek was new as he headed back to Reid. "All set. So, uhh, coffee?"

"Yes. Coffee. At your place. That's what I suggested." Reid raised his eyebrow. Had Morgan changed his mind. "Unless you don't want to. It's been a long night. You might be tired or something."

Derek rested his hand against the small of Spencer's back, guided him toward the door. "I haven't been sleeping well, but trust me. I haven't changed my mind."

The drive was silent, without even the customary soft strains of blues easing out of the speakers. Reid admired Derek's hands on the clutch and the wheel. He drove like he did everything. All of his focused narrowed down to the moment - the action and the event - and the world vanished. Reid leaned his head against the window. What would it be like, with that attention on him? He shifted uncomfortably. People weren't supposed to notice him. He'd been practicing that skill forever.

But Derek did. Derek noticed him. He could try to justify it with all the scientific explanations available. None of them fit. Since he started at the BAU, Derek always answered his questions thoughtfully. Never once had he dismissed him out of turn. And it was Morgan who had talked him off the ledge when he beat himself up over Elle, when he hit the lowest point in his addiction. Morgan didn't even know about the latter, and probably he never would. Reid kept his emotions to himself, didn't want his friend knowing that the desperation which ultimately pushed him into the meeting had been the burning shame of Morgan knowing he was fucked up.

Lost in his thoughts, Reid startled when the engine stopped.

"Hey," Derek whispered. "We're here." He placed his right hand over Spencer's left. "It's only coffee" He corrected himself. "It only has to be coffee."

Spencer stared at Morgan. He hesitated, put his right hand over the one on his left. "I think." He coughed. "I think it can never just be coffee between us again." His breath hitched at Derek's worried frown. "At least, I don't want it to be, I mean, if you were serious."

Morgan's fingers tightened in their sandwich between Reid's. "I never joke about coffee." His dark eyes remained trained on Spencer's while his free hand unlocked the door behind him. "Let's get inside before it starts raining."

*****

Morgan's heart beat solidly behind his ribs. He wanted to dive into Spencer's mouth, hoped for a moment that they were going to make out in the car like horny teenagers. But in the end, he liked his privacy and refused to let Reid be scared away before they made it in the door. He hid the way his fingers shook as he undid his seatbelt, inhaled as he shut his car door, exhaled when Reid let him open his.

He wasn't sure how they made it to his front door. But they did. And it was opened. And the hallway was dimly lit by the light Morgan had left on in the kitchen. "No need to stand on ceremony. You've been here before. Make yourself comfortable. I'll go start the -" All air left his lungs in an oomph. His jaw was surrounded by long thin fingers. His mouth devoured by soft, chapped lips and the clumsy insistence of Reid's tongue seeking entry. Morgan's gasp was as much of a yes as necessary apparently, as Spencer licked into his mouth with the taste of Coke and a hint of cherry chapstick.

Spencer pulled back, adjusted his hands to fist into Derek's jacket. "I changed my mind about the coffee," he panted. "No one has ever offered me this, least of all someone like you. Logically I know people have sex a way to deny fear, to prove their messy living errors are accepted and even celebrated by others. I know all that and part of me wonders if that's what's going on here." He pressed his lips together, pressed them against his friend's chastely. "A larger part of me is trying to deal with the knowledge that this is the most exhilarated and still calmest I've felt since I stopped using." He nuzzled into the crook of Morgan's neck. "Will you kiss me back already, Derek?"

Those were the word Morgan waited for, hadn't known it until then. With the request hanging on the air between them, Derek was more than ready to take the lead. "I can do that." He felt the corners of his mouth twitch upward, wanted to take off his jacket, hang up his keys, free himself to fully appreciate what was being offered.

That could wait for later.

His hands felt warm against Reid's wrists, his forearms. The fluttery beat of a pulse struck Morgan with surprise, incongruous to the dominance he'd experienced the moment before. His keys dropped to the floor while he stared into the depths of Reid's eyes. I could get lost here. And for a moment, panic snared his throat. No. No way. I want this. He growled out his need and lunged for Spencer.

Fuck finesse. That could come later. For now it was lips and tongue, a lack of air and a need for more. His fingers lost themselves in the strands of Spencer's dark silk hair. Morgan always wanted to touch his friend's hair, but never had, didn't want to give in to the temptation. Now there was permission in the form of a soft whimper and an exposed throat. Derek paused, tangled in the vision of Reid's mouth wrapped around his cock while his hair teased across the muscles of his stomach, hips, thighs. His hands tightened reflexively.

"God, Spencer," he whispered. "You have no idea how long I've thought about this."

The admission caught them both off guard, interrupted the moment.

"You? You have?" Reid leaned into the wall.

"Yeah. Oh yeah." Morgan slipped off his leather and hung it on the hook on the door. He scooped his keys off the floor and stuffed them into the pocket. Reid's breath wasn't quite even. Morgan wanted to keep him off balance, didn't want him and his genius IQ to find a way out. He ran a finger from behind Reid's ear, down the column of his neck to where shirt buttoned under sweater vest. "Been dreaming about messing up this tidy little world of yours for far too long. Want to know, want to taste the man you hide underneath the PhDs." He tilted forward, darted his tongue over Spencer's Adam's apple. "You've got all this bright light about you, and it makes the darkness that much more bleak." He inched his thigh between Reid's, ground against him. "I want to be the one who sees all of you, the shadows and the sunshine all mixed together. Want you sleep and well fucked, screaming my name, pounding into me. Spence, I want it all." He delved into the open mouth once more, lapped slowly against the smooth slick of the roof of Reid's mouth. He traced the sharpness of canines and the slight roughness of tongue.

It could have been seconds, minutes or hours before Morgan was able to pull back. One quick breath, and he returned. Only when his head was light from lack of oxygen and his knees threatened to buckle did he lock his arm around Reid's back and pull him forward. Every move, every gasp, shoved them perilously closer to coming.

Morgan laughed. "Bedroom is upstairs. Second door on the left." He pinned Spencer's hips when he made to move. "You have to be sure. I'm not going to force you. I don't do that." He lifted his fingers to Reid's jaw, tipped his head to make their eyes meet. "There's still time. We can go sit in the kitchen, or watch TV or something. You have to make damned sure before we go any further." He held his breath. Waited.

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Comments

Love it! You got Morgan's voice just right - I could hear him in my head. And some of Reid's responses totally hit my heart ("No one has ever offered me this, least of all someone like you."). Well done! :)

awww now your just teasing! I don't see many where Morgan bottoms so I think it would be a nice change up. Most see spencer as broken and the submissive of the two....I think otherwise. I look forward to reading more of this story (and your work)

This is my first CM, so it's all new to me. Not teasing, just, you know, taking my time. I need to read more morgan slash. I've actually been having a difficult time finding it. I keep finding hotch/reid stuff instead.

This should be finished this weekend as I plan to do nothing else but lie in the sunshine and write smut.

Oh, lovely! Hurray for Morgan seeing Reid's distress and wanting to do something about it. And that awkward little offer he made... It makes such sense that he's smooth and suave with the ladies, but when it comes to wanting Spencer, he's not as smooth as he would like.

And Spencer's little academic comments are just great. Especially the one about people wanting sex to validate their lifestyle choices. And I love what Morgan said about the brightness and shadow of Reid.

It's so nice to hear that Reid's comments worked. I really struggled with his voice. In a past life I'd like to believe that I was smooth and hot like Morgan, but yeah, Reid's out of my league. His dorkiness I get. His language, not so much.

that was fantasticall amazingYou got both of their characteristics just rightAnd I loved that you made Reid seem more cofident when it came to sex, and not as submissive as people usually write himWell done

Glad you enjoyed it. Part of what I'm trying to write is the give and take of those two because I like the way they play off each other in the show. Now I need to write the next section and actually get them into bed.

Well, of course I had to come and read it! I love Morgan and Reid so much, and they were so good in this. I love it, I'm just grinning right now. I can just picture it all, and hear it all in my head, and Derek's got a pretty sexy voice, so everything that he's saying is really working.

I can't stop rereading it as I try and type this. I love these two. Sigh. Why can't this happen on the actual show?

All through the season opener last week i kept asking where the morgan/reid time was. i neeeeeeeeeeed them to have this happen on the show. i don't even have words for how much i neeeeeeeed them together. I love them.