Five Types of Cuddling

Most girls looooove to canoodle. I have a love/hate relationship with it. Meaning I love the events before and after cuddling (MOing and sleeping), but I hate sleeping uncomfortably next to someone. Usually anyway. I think cuddling has its purpose for a little bit before you actually go to sleep, but otherwise its so much easier to say goodnight and sleep in your own little space. Each kind of cuddling has its pros and cons:

Spooning

Spooning is great if you can get into posish and immediately fall asleep. That’s pretty much how I sleep anyway so if someone just cuddles up right behind you, it can be lovely. No difficulty breathing, no crowding…unless he has a really weirdly strong arm and crushes your rib cage…but this is rare. However, more likely spooning is going to be your pregame for round two. It somehow makes me wanna feel all sexy like. I can not resist pushing the bum against a boy cuddling behind me…plus his hands are normally like all over you, your neck is like exposed and avail…Maybe it’s animal instinct that makes you wanna do a thing when the object of your affection is behind you. Or maybe it’s just me.

The Nook

Infamously named by Carrie Bradshaw as she describes getting all comfortable in Aiden’s nook. I feel like it is really nice. It makes your man such…a man. His arms are all big and protecting you and you can smell him and touch him. Also puts him in a prime position to start…gently guiding you toward his penis, but it’s nice before that. Until you want to like…move because your one arm is awkwardly crushed and you have no idea what to do with it, and he fell asleep because he’s just laying there and so you’re sitting there blinking, terrified to move and wake him as you free your arm which may or may not have already fallen off.

Face-to-Face

This is the most romantic way to cuddle and when I think about it, I want to puke, but I’m trying to put myself objectively in the moment. All I can think of is like you’re sort of breathing like warm air, and like…why. I think it can be fine during like a moment with someone you care for where you’re like breaking away from a kiss and look at each other for like twenty seconds or so, and then continue kissing, but otherwise you are like staring at someone. They say you shouldn’t hook up with someone you don’t have feelings for, and maybe you shouldn’t…but it’s only because you don’t want to run the risk of face-to-face cuddling with someone you don’t have feelings for.

Looking Up

Honestly, this is HIGHLY under-rated. The ONLY comfortable way to sleep cuddle is if you’re both on your backs and he just kind of has his arm around your shoulder. For some reason this doesn’t happen that much, unless you’re like both on a couch and you’re side by side or like between his legs. I think maybe it seems impersonal or something…I can see that, but think how comfy it is to cuddle that way in a bed. Still close enough to feel each other. Still free enough to escape and sleep comfortably sans cuddling after.

Extended Cuddling

This isn’t cuddling per se, but it gives you the same feeling, but better. Afterwards, when you’re back at home and you have his shirt and you just like…smell it. I’m aware how that just sounded. Totally aware that it sounded creepy and clingy. But it’s not. You get a whiff usually by accident and then you smell the shirt and it feels like you’re all wrapped up in him again, and it somehow turns the entire experience absolutely pleasant even if it wasn’t. And guys like it too. Swear. If you wear perfume and they can still smell it on their pillow once you’re gone, it leaves them with a pleasant experience, and they get the feel-goodness of cuddling even if they don’t normally like cuddling to begin with.

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Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co

I normally love TSM columns but this was the absolute worst one I have ever read. If I see the word ‘like’ used inappropriately one more time I think I’ll puke. I love cuddling and reading about it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling but this made me never want to be in a man’s arms again.