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How to train a baby where to pee or poop?

I am taking care of my nephew, he is already 3 yrs. old. He doesn't want to wear diaper, he usually tells me when he wants to poop or pee but sometimes he pees anywhere he want without telling me. I'm having a hard time cleaning because sometimes he run while peeing. When I'm putting diapers on him, later on he'll take it off and leave it somewhere. How can I possibly train him or what can I do about him?

A three year old is usually developmentally ready and able to use the lu. The first question I would have is whether you think your nephew truly is having a hard time being trained, or if he is choosing not to use the lu on purpose. Sometimes children will choose to wet themselves or poo in their pants if they think it will get a reaction out of you or if they purposefully want to make trouble.

I had a friend whose child was fully potty trained, but when he wanted to be mischievous, he would purposefully poo in his pants or pee on the floor. That was a disciplinary problem and there are things you can do to discourage a child from purposefully choosing not to use the lu.

Please post back and let me know if you think the child just needs more time and encouragement in potty training, or if you think he may be choosing not to use the lu on purpose.

Has your nephew just turned 3? What is his age in months please? Some children, boys in particular, will not be ready until they are closer to 3 and a half. Here are some great potty training tips from Dr. Sears about knowing when your child is ready and how to encourage them.

Is sounds like your nephew is already well on the way to being potty trained. It is common for children to seem that they are potty trained and then a month or so in start to have more accidents. Sometimes this is because we as parents or caregivers assume the child no longer needs as much encouragement or help now they are potty trained. However, it is wise at this early stage to still frequently check if they need to use the toilet and continue to give your child plenty of encouragement when they do.

Have you been taking care of your nephew for a while or is this a recent change? I only ask because sometimes it is hard for children to adapt to a new caregiver and the caregiver may also not be as tuned into the child's toilet habits. I also wonder if your nephew is confused? As you say he doesn't want to wear nappies but that you are still using them. Have you tried pull-up nappies or training pants which are a step between baby nappies and pants?

Dr. Sears writes this:

'One day I heard a joyful “yeah” coming from another room as our teenage daughter, Hayden, cheered our two-year-old’s potty-chair deposit. There is no place for punishment in toilet- training, just as you wouldn’t scold the beginning walker for tripping. Serious long-term emotional problems can result from angry scolding or punitive attitudes toward accidents or resistance. If you are struggling with your child over toileting and recognize negative feelings toward your child, get some help from trusted advisers or even a counselor. Your goal is for your child to emerge from toilet-training with a healthy self-image.'

Those are some great insights from LJ. Important to discern between whether the child is simply having accidents or is purposefully choosing not to use the lu, and once this is determined, you will want to try to figure out why your nephew is doing this. From there you can create a plan to help him become fully potty trained while feeling really good and confident about his accomplishment As LJ mentioned, your nephew just may not be developmentally ready to be fully potty trained right now, as boys develop slower than girls at this age.

He just turned 3 this November 24. Hearing from you that he's already doing well at his age, I should have been proud of him, now it gave me a motivation to train him more until he can do it independently. I've been taking care of him since he was born, we are living in the same house, while my sister is at work, I am the one in-charge of him. I haven't tried pull-up nappies, I'll suggest it to my sister. I'm not scolding my nephew for these instances, I am just telling him to inform me whenever he needs a potty or just go directly to his potty. The articles you linked were very helpful! It gave me a lot of ideas. I'll do it, will try to find stuffs to catch my nephew's interest. Thank you LJ!

I agree, I think my nephew just needs more time and encouragement in potty training since he sometimes pee also in our garbage can. I'll be training him with the strategies you suggested. Thank you for the information, it helped me a lot, I appreciate it.

If your nephew is peeing in the garbage can that, to me, may be a sign that he knows he is supposed to pee in the lu, but he chooses not to. It's not like he is wetting his pants. He is actually choosing to go somewhere other than the lu before relieving himself.

Have you tried having him clean up the mess he makes? You can provide him with towels, water, etc. and have him clean up his own mess. Often, if the child is peeing on the floor or in the garbage can on purpose (or pooing in his pants or behind the couch, as a friend's child would do) having them clean up their own mess is not something like like doing, and can deter them from doing it again. It's much easier to go potting in the lu than it is to clean up yourself and/or the mess you made. He just needs to know that he will be the one cleaning it up, not you (though, you will have to guide him, and stand over him, encouraging him as he cleans, until it is done to your satisfaction).

I'm glad that some of the resources I linked to were helpful for you. Wow - just turned 3 - doing really well then for a little boy

Just another thought - some children get on better with a toilet seat that fits on the toilet rather than a potty as they want to copy mum/dad/other caregivers. So you could try that (along with toilet steps so that he can get up to the toilet on his own) along with the training pants if your sister is happy with that. Does your nephew watch other adults on the toilet frequently as this is very important for learning about toilet training? Children learn by imitation.

Do you think there's any possibility he could have accidents at times that he is bored or wanting attention? Have you tried packing his day so full of activities and seeing what affect this has on his toileting?

That's another great idea. I haven't tried that one with his mess like pee or poop but I already tried letting him clean the table when he leaves a mess from eating. I will try to do that if he's going to pee anywhere again. Thanks Kate.

Thank you again for that idea, we have toilet steps at home, my sister just preferred potty that's why I just followed her. I will train my nephew later with toilet steps. Yes he watch over my sister or sometimes my brothers in the toilet. Thank you again LJ.