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#2 or 5 is (as I write this) eighteen years old and in his last couple of months of High School. Whether or not I choose to accept it, he is in what I would describe as a "full-on sprint" towards his own independence. Sometimes I wish he would listen more to the wisdom and advice I try to share, but I suppose (like most of us) his journey is about finding our own way through the trials, tribulations, and lessons life has waiting.

I often find myself asking whatever happened to that little boy I proudly held in my arms (when he would let me), whose eyes were so full of wonder and amazement for so many things. Being a new father I watched my young son’s personality develop, and was so eager (arguably “too eager”) to find out how he would turn out that I did not focus on the little boy he was at that moment. FAR too often, I found myself wishing he was older. Now that I am close to where I thought I wanted to be, I would give anything to go back, even for just a brief moment. Since time travel is not an option (yet), and I was so eager to find out how he would turn out, it’s only fitting that I share my observations on the results.

#2 of 5 is a young man with an unbending sense of loyalty. He has very strong opinions, convictions, and is confident in his beliefs. He is not afraid to tell anyone (and everyone) what those beliefs are. Because of this, he is willing, able, and has faced ridicule and stereotyping for having taken a stance up for what he believes to be right (even while facing a classroom of opposition). Yet, at the same time, he is not completely inflexible. Many times I have found him open enough to at least consider opposing ideas, and adapt his opinion(s) to a changing environment.

#2 of 5 tends to sell himself short. He took his father’s “lackluster approach” to academia to the next level and pushed that boundary to the very edge of its limits. If there is one area I feel as if I failed him, this would be it. I may have (through my words or my actions) delivered a message that under emphasizes the importance of focusing on education. As a result, he struggles to prioritize it appropriately. He is quite bright and intelligent, but is often selective in which areas of his life he chooses to exercise these traits. School became little more than an exercise in the social arts.

Speaking of the “social arts”, #2 of 5 maintains a small but amazingly well bonded group of friends. His dedication and loyalty to those friends is SECOND TO NONE! He has, and will make personal sacrifices in order to support them in any way he possibly can. #2 of 5 is truly the guy who would give the shirt off his back to help a friend in need. Anyone who he calls “friend” is very lucky indeed!

#2 of 5 has a bit of the awkward, geeky, and nerdy in him (in an endearing way). His love of Harry Potter is beyond reproach (and has the tattoo to prove it). Batman has been his hero for as long as I can remember (although, much like Batman, he has a strange fetish for Batman’s nemesis The Joker). He is into most animated comedy, comic books, and super heroes and villains. He has inherited (and even expounded upon) his father’s… eh, should we say “peculiar”… sense of humor. There is little that can brighten my day like when I hear #2 of 5’s rolling laughter. It’s simply contagious.

Also, much like his father, I suspect he often uses humor to mask pain, frustration, and/or anxiety.

Underneath the outer shell that most people see lays the soul of one of the kindest, most caring and sensitive young men I have met. He has an enormous emotional core that he keeps well-guarded (maybe a little too well guarded). Unfortunately, very few are fully allowed access to this side of his personality, and once you are allowed access, he will still try to guard it from you at times. When the opportunity arises that he does open up, what you will find there is simply remarkable. You will never look at him the same way again!

What #2 of 5 lacks in effort in all things scholarly (see above), he makes up with in a strong work ethic. During an extended period of being short staffed, #2 of 5 really stood up and helped out. He worked nearly full time hours while attending school, often missing out on opportunities with friends (which he places such a high value on) in order to do so. I have had numerous instances where his manager pulled me aside to give me a little insight on what a good job he does, and how happy they are with him.

He has applied for a local community college, but is not completely sure which direction that will lead him yet. This is ok. I am hopeful that once he is out of the standard high school setting, and embraces the options that post-secondary education allow – that he can tailor his approach to his own education and find the path he belongs on. He denies it, but #2 of 5 has a unique way of communicating well with younger kids, and as a result, younger kids have a way of looking up to #2 of 5 that he does not yet fully realize. Personally, I think he would make an AMAZING middle school history / social studies teacher, but he says that’s not anything he is interested in.

Our lives are full of transitions, and #2 of 5’s future has many more pages that are yet to be written. God alone knows what the future holds for this young man. He still has some learning, growing, and maturing to do but I could not possibly be any prouder than to be able to call him my son.

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These are tales...

These are tales from the life of a chronically tired Father of five who lives in a high stress household, works a high stress career, and copes with daily struggles of guilty feelings for not having the time he would like to spend with his family.

I am keeping this blog as a collection of thoughts for my children (but others are welcome to enjoy too). Someday I hope they have they chance to read this and get just a small glimpse into the mind of their father.

My work and our hectic family lifestyle keeps me very busy. I hate to admit this but sometimes so busy that I don't spend as much time with my kids and family as I want to, or as I should....

Living the life of a chronically tired Father of five who lives in a high stress household, works a high stress career, and copes with daily struggles of guilty feelings for not having the time he would like to spend with his family.