‘If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day…’

Let me just begin with the fact that I know how lucky and blessed I am to be a mom to not just one amazing human being, but to three. Three gorgeous, happy and healthy kiddos. Not for one millisecond would I give up the life I have with my family. Not for one millisecond would I trade my life for a different one. Not for one millisecond would I want any type of life that did not have the four of them in it.

BUT, for one millisecond, just for kicks, I will think about what it would be like if I wasn’t a mother, just for a day.

Do you know what I would do?

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would sleep. Like really sleep, you know? Like that thing people do when both of their eyes are closed and they go off to la-la land for an indeterminable amount of time. Yep, I would get some actual deep sleep.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would actually drink my coffee hot and in one sitting – without any spills, interruptions, necessary diaper changes or the calling of my name for any gosh darn reason under the sun.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would probably (this is a total non-definite) leave the house looking more put-together, better groomed and more attractive. How is this any different from now, you ask? Well, I would actually shower, shave my legs, blow-dry and style my hair and try harder to not wear the same four outfits on repeat.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would be sure to find “me time.” I would aimlessly walk the mall without a child in my arms and I would spend more money on clothes I don’t really need.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would probably enjoy more alcoholic beverages and I wouldn’t limit my wine consumption to only the weekends and post-bedtime.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would have more energy ,which of course is a byproduct of having less worry, less fear, less stress and more sleep.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would have more time, love and attention to give to my husband; and my goodness, does he deserve it.

Yet…

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I know I would spend every millisecond of that day wishing I was one. How do I know this? Because it’s true — being a mother is all I have ever wanted to be my whole life.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I know the well-rested me would be thinking about how awfully wonderful it would feel to be exhausted by kids of my own.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, while having my hot coffee I would ponder thoughts of what being a mother would be like, what my children would look like and how I would parent them.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I wouldn’t look like me. Nope, not the real me, as I was meant to look — with a little baby weight left over, some stretch marks, droopy boobies, and tired eyes.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would be really damn lonely without my mini-best friends by my side.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for one day, I would lose myself in trying to fit in with the “cool people” of the world.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would have less worry, less fear, and less stress – and how boring would that be to not have something so meaningful in your life you can’t escape it.

If I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I would have more time, love and attention to give to my husband — and I would probably end up smothering him, which would likely push him away.

Truth be told, I don’t want to think about it. Nope, not for one millisecond more. Because in all honesty, if I wasn’t a mother, just for a day, I wouldn’t recognize myself in the mirror, and how incredibly sad it would be to have to live my life as a person I don’t know.

I want to be a mother, just for a day, and for each and every day that follows.