Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I'm sorry to break it to you my friend but no one in their right mind would want to touch someone who thinks bathing is a sin. If you don't believe me try breathing in the vicinity of your security guy this morning.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

God.. "I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey! Join the fucking club, ok!? I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Socks. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, allright?! "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." Nobody's happy, ok!? Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, ok! You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!? That is it! End of fucking list! "I'm just not happy." Shut the fuck up, allright? That's the name of my new book, "Shut the Fuck Up, by Doctor Denis Leary. A revolutionary new form of therapy." I'm gonna have my patients come in. "Doctor, I.." "Shut the fuck up, next!" "I don't feel so.." "Shut the fuck up, next!" "He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now." Whining fucking maggots.

Every time you feel like sharing your shitty day with someone please consider the above.

This means that despite them stopping the عانية they will still keep the tradition of giving the groom the gift of the VW Touareq. Since 2003 it was deemed more appropriate to give the Touareq instead of the tired old tradition of giving sheep.