The Super Secret, Highly Classified Method to Putting on INSANE Amounts of Muscle Mass in Little to No Time Whatsoever (Insert other shameless marketing buzzwords here)

In the dark and nebulous years of my adolescence and training naivety, I would pick the brains of those with more know-how than I, with the intention to get smrt. It started in middle school. I’d hit the gym after school with the boys and love me some bicep curls and bench press. Yes, I too have seen the abyss… But times have seemingly changed. For the better. I hope. On one such occasion, specifically the first year of my undergrad program, I had the pleasure of training under a professional power lifter. Not naming any names, sorry. A little background. This power-lifter, around the age of thirty, was returning to school to finish his pre-med degree with the intentions of eventually becoming a surgeon… or maybe it was a sturgeon? I can’t remember. I was a young punk lifter (still am), and we both happened to be enrolled in an exercise physiology class that required us to lift in the athletic weight room 2x a week. I remember picking him out from the crowd during the first lecture, as he was noticeably older and substantially larger than anyone else in the room. After listening to the professor (who also claimed to be a former powerlifter) ramble on about neuromuscular activation (I’m like an elephant, I never forget), we hit the weight room. I kept a close eye on our friend the powerlifter. He crept over to the deadlift platform, and began to warm up… with 315lbs. Hmm. Two sets later he was at 550. Hmmmm. By the end of class he was repping close to 800lbs. The entire class watched in wide-wonder, most of the men feeling wholly emasculated, as he ripped 810lbs off the ground, making a rainbow out of the barbell.Upon completion of this outwardly superhuman feat, I thanked him kindly for putting my warm up weight on the bar. He laughed and we soon became friends. Throughout the semester I acquired much knowledge from this man, even more so from him then from the actual class. I wish to pass some of the more significant lessons on to you.In regards to size: Now I know the stereotype is that most powerlifters are fat. This guy wasn’t fat. He was big, yet he was lean. Naturally I inquired as to how he accumulated such lean mass. Aside from his slew of “special vitamins” in which he confided in me about, his advice was some of the best I’d ever received in regards to the most effective way to put on muscle mass. “I’m bigger because I’m stronger”, is what he said. Brilliant. Beauty is often found in simplicity. You see, it’s as simple as that. I heard a great analogy a while back; I believe it was from Master RKC Brett Jones, about strength being “the bucket”. Think of it like this. You go into Starbucks to order muscle mass. Now muscle mass itself, is the beverage, for our purposes we will say it’s their orange blossom green tea. Now strength, is the cup. So the question you have to ask yourself now, is which cup will allow me to potentially hold more muscle mass. If you choose tall, then you will be small. With Grande, you’re getting somewhere. Venti? Now we are talking. You see, the stronger you are, the more potential you have to put on size. Strength is the cup, and size is the zesty, smooth, and refreshing orange blossom green tea. The bigger the cup, the more tea you can hold. So what if you want to get strong but not get big? Well, contrary to popular belief that you can get strong without bulking up, there actually comes a point where if you want to continue getting stronger, that you will have to eventually put on some muscle mass. That does not mean that this muscle mass will be puffy and Pillsbury-doughboy-esque. Rather, the mass you put on from pure strength training alone (emphasizing myofibrillar over sarcoplasmic hypertrophy), will result in hard, dense muscle. I faced this dilemma myself. Since size is not so conducive to my sport, which involves kicking people in the head. Yet, strength, speed, and power, are all conducive to kicking people in the head. Now I have size, and not because I trained for size, but rather it is a consequence of training for strength. So the size I have put on, is functional, and has enhanced my athletic performance, rather than have hindered it. So what I’m telling you, is that if you are in a sport where you feel size may hinder your performance, do not worry about it, so long as you are solely training for strength and power, rather than for a pump, then the size you will put on can only aid you in your athletic endeavors. But if you sport has weight classes, now that’s a different story… That’s all for today cronies. – Pat