Thursday, April 10, 2003

The Osama Diaries

I was thinking about the tapes recently released of Osama yet AGAIN calling for jihad against all of us, death to the great satan, etc., and it set me thinking to a funny bit I read a while back. It was the last time that Osama put out a tape encouraging our deaths that the ever-amusing Poor Man got sick of it all:

This is all getting a bit repetitive. Wage jihad against America. I think we've got it now. Fucking established. If there was anyone out there who was mistakenly racing hot rods against Armenia or shaking peapods against Albania or something, and for whom this tape proved a much-needed clarification of official Qaeda policy, then, obviously, I stand corrected. But judging by the fact that your organization has spent the past eighteen months dying, being arrested, and blowing up obscure sections of the third world, I think you might be spending too much effort on building brand awareness and not enough on, you know, terrorizing me. Bring it, don't sing it. I'm not saying I actually want anything bad to happen, I just think that, based on recent performances, your tape-recorded messages belong less on the front page, and more in a very special episode of "Where Are They Now?"