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Critical Darling

Many moons have passed and many celebrity couples have split since last this column was published in the Current. In those days, I was a staffer at the paper, only half as critical and half as darling (and half as literate) as I am today. If this were an Academy Award acceptance speech, I’d thank my graduate professors for gently handing my ass to me through 2009 and all those responsible for the crummy job market that left me plenty of time to read, write, and think through mid-2010. This column being what it is, though — namely a couple of salty-sweet paragraphs and not a televised forum for undue prize-giving, weeping, and the occasional dance number — allow me to go in a completely different direction: Congratulations, readers, this is the happiest day of your life.

Because I have no desire to prematurely kill off our love-fern — I want to (re)start this relationship on the right foot — I should be honest about the fact that I was thinking about someone else for the entire above paragraph, and it was Halle Berry. The day this comeback was composed, word spread that Ms. Berry confirmed her involvement in a film adaptation of David Mitchell’s audacious 2004 novel, Cloud Atlas. The book, an exploration of eternal recurrence, among other things, is comprised of six interlocking narratives, each ending in a cliffhanger for the first half and resolved in symmetrical order over the course of the second. It’s historical drama, pulp fiction, and sci-fi mashed together, all self-referential-like. According to Berry’s statement, the film will also star Natalie Portman and Tom Hanks and may be directed by the Wachowski siblings. As we’re still in the honeymoon phase, darlings, I’m going to ask you to do me a solid and read the book, even though Tom Tykwer — writer-director of such yummies as Run Lola Run and Perfume: The Story of a Murderer — is rumored to have adapted the screenplay. Two years from now, you’re going to want to make an educated decision. You can thank me later.

On the local front, do yourself a solid and be sure to have your Luminaria media arts submission handed in by December 13. Those selected to participate will receive a $250 minimum honorarium post-event. Visit luminariasa.org for details, make something neat, and you will be rich and famous. On December 14, you can celebrate your pending wealth and fame (and that you totally made the Luminaria deadline) from 6 p.m.-8 p.m. at the 2010 Film San Antonio Holiday Reception, to be held at Sunset Station. Read all about it at visitsanantonio.com/film. XO.