Ke$ha Tells Vanity Fair All About Her Kinship With Muppets, Her Love Of Glitter, and Her Decrease in Douchery

Say what you will about Ke$ha (no really, say whatever you want, I can smack talk Ke$ha all day long), but the girl gives a damn good interview. Luckily for us, she had a little chat with Vanity Fairhere recently, and she didn’t disappoint. I’m going to share my favorite excerpts, but I really recommend reading the whole thing. Trust me, you guys, Ke$ha will give you a giggle on this dreary Saturday morning.

On Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,you told Ryan Seacrest that your resolution for 2011 is “to not be a douchebag.” How’s that been working out for you?

Thus far, I think I’m doing a pretty decent job. I’m not saying I don’t fuck up here and there. But for the most part, I think the douchery has been kept to a minimum.

Do you have a favorite Muppet? One that you’ve been dying to collaborate with?

What’s the guy’s name who lives in garbage?

Oscar.

Oscar the Grouch! Yeah, I’d want to duet with him. We have a lot in common. We share a very similar personal philosophy on life. He and I are one in the same.

I don’t think he shares your appreciation for glitter.

Oh, I’d turn him around. I’d just throw it at him. The glitter’s not really a choice. When you’re around me, you’re going to get glitter on you. It infuriates a lot of people who hang out with me. They get glitter on them and it won’t come off for days and it ruins their game. But I think it’s incredible.

What’s your glitter budget for a typical year? It’s got to be in the thousands, right?

Honestly, it’s pretty exorbitant. It’s probably more like a few thousand every month. If you come and see a show of mine, there is no shortage of glitter. By the end, everyone from the back of the auditorium to the very front is covered and potentially choking on glitter. I am shooting glitter from glitter guns and out of every orifice in my body. It’s really a big part of what I do. It’s my goal to cover the planet in glitter and take the fuck over. I can’t do that if I don’t have a shit-ton of glitter.

Wait, did I hear you correctly? You’ve got glitter coming out of every orifice?

That’s right. I’ve found glitter in places that will not be named in this interview.

You might want to mention that to a doctor. Would you describe it as a glittery discharge?

No, it shoots out. And it’s coming from everywhere on my body. Let’s just leave it at that.

I met this dude in a theatre class one time, and he was a super great guy, really funny and charming and sweet and all that. But then it was time for him to do a monologue, and I should also mention that he was really passionate about acting, like that’s what he wanted to do with his whole life, but when he did his monologue, it was the most awful thing. He was just a bad actor, but he was still that great dude. So I had to make a choice of whether or not I could still be tight with him while not really respecting his life ambition.

I feel like I’m at that crossroads right now with Ke$ha: do I glance over her life’s work so I can have fun with her, or do I just cut all ties? What are your thoughts?

She’s reeeeally funny! I’d be her friend ANY day, but yeah girl needs a new music producer and artistic director….and voice coach amongst other things. I think some artists these days over do the edginess and lose that SUBTLE mystique, feel me?