Heartbroken... AGAIN

Originally posted by jheated5
If she is manipulating people, then to what end? I mean everyone in here has responded with general concern and kindness, even if the story isn't
real many people can relate and can look at the responses and know that people are here on ATS willing to give someone support no matter what their
problems are..... Isn't that the most important thing we should take from our time here????

maybe you didn't read all the posts..

and I don't like to fake giving support to someone who claims to be heartbroken, and is obviously not that heartbroken...

Like I said in an earlier post..I'd have a lot more respect for her..if she would have just come out and said..hey guys..looking for a new boyfriend
who is into conspiracies... my last one just didn't get my interest in them at all.

Anyhoo..I sincerely wished her happiness in her future (hopefully she finds the right guy)

As far as what we are here for..well....that varies....I will give support to those I feel need it.

Originally posted by jheated5
If she is manipulating people, then to what end? I mean everyone in here has responded with general concern and kindness, even if the story isn't
real many people can relate and can look at the responses and know that people are here on ATS willing to give someone support no matter what their
problems are..... Isn't that the most important thing we should take from our time here????

maybe you didn't read all the posts..

and I don't like to fake giving support to someone who claims to be heartbroken, and is obviously not that heartbroken...

Like I said in an earlier post..I'd have a lot more respect for her..if she would have just come out and said..hey guys..looking for a new boyfriend
who is into conspiracies... my last one just didn't get my interest in them at all.

Anyhoo..I sincerely wished her happiness in her future (hopefully she finds the right guy)

As far as what we are here for..well....that varies....I will give support to those I feel need it.

Give it up. Really. Just give it up. Its very sad and pathetic for you to assume what i want or what im here for. I'm not going to say im looking for
a new boyfriend who is into conspiracies because i dont want a new boyfriend right now. Who are you to say and KNOW what i want in a boyfriend? Last I
remember, i was here telling my story not making a list of the thing I look for in a guy.

Thank you for wishing me well, and yes, i hope that i find happiness too. Wether with an ATS member or a simple guy walking down the street. I'll be
sure to start a thread that says "I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ON ATS" if the former happens. Leave a comment if you wish. Oh, and continue to give
support to those who need it. I got my support already from all my fellow ATS'ers. Peace out!

Give it up. Really. Just give it up. Its very sad and pathetic for you to assume what i want or what im here for. I'm not going to say im looking for
a new boyfriend who is into conspiracies because i dont want a new boyfriend right now. Who are you to say and KNOW what i want in a boyfriend? Last I
remember, i was here telling my story not making a list of the thing I look for in a guy.

ok... can you explain this post which I will quote..

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ? I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to
be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

The above was your third post on this thread.. which is why I made the comments I did.. Not assumption..just what you wrote..so quit making me look
like the bad guy here..

here's a quote from your first post

My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal,
Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head.

Now can you see clearly why I said what I did?

Thank you for wishing me well, and yes, i hope that i find happiness too. Wether with an ATS member or a simple guy walking down the street. I'll be
sure to start a thread that says "I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ON ATS" if the former happens. Leave a comment if you wish. Oh, and continue to give
support to those who need it. I got my support already from all my fellow ATS'ers. Peace out!

I hope you find happiness too..but if it is someone from ATS....I wouldn't start telling my story of how it went wrong on here..because we may hear
the other side of it as well.

And I will continue to give support to those I feel need it..have no worries on that.

I honestly think you are just mad..because I can see through your transparency, and called you out on it.

Give it up. Really. Just give it up. Its very sad and pathetic for you to assume what i want or what im here for. I'm not going to say im looking for
a new boyfriend who is into conspiracies because i dont want a new boyfriend right now. Who are you to say and KNOW what i want in a boyfriend? Last I
remember, i was here telling my story not making a list of the thing I look for in a guy.

ok... can you explain this post which I will quote..

Thanks. I actually do hope to meet someone here.. lol.. Any single ATS'ers out there ? I guess time will tell. The sad part was that he pretended to
be remotely interested in what i liked in the beginning. Ends up being, all he cared about was sports and beer

The above was your third post on this thread.. which is why I made the comments I did.. Not assumption..just what you wrote..so quit making me look
like the bad guy here..

here's a quote from your first post

My emotions didn't mean anything to him, my words, my thoughts. Everytime I started talking about stuff that interested me (UFO, Paranormal,
Conspiracy, Quantum Physics, etc) , he would hurry to get off the phone or simply just nod his head.

Now can you see clearly why I said what I did?

Thank you for wishing me well, and yes, i hope that i find happiness too. Wether with an ATS member or a simple guy walking down the street. I'll be
sure to start a thread that says "I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ON ATS" if the former happens. Leave a comment if you wish. Oh, and continue to give
support to those who need it. I got my support already from all my fellow ATS'ers. Peace out!

I hope you find happiness too..but if it is someone from ATS....I wouldn't start telling my story of how it went wrong on here..because we may hear
the other side of it as well.

And I will continue to give support to those I feel need it..have no worries on that.

I honestly think you are just mad..because I can see through your transparency, and called you out on it.

I'm sorry if that hurt you..

edit on 22-9-2011 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)

It was a JOKE because a person posted this

Lol well you hit the jack-pot of men who are interested in UFO's, paranormal, etc here on ATS. Hope you find someone who shares the same passion in
your interests. Shouldn't be tooooo hard here

That is the only reason i joked around, didn't know sense of humor was a crime around here

I also I didn't say having a sense of humor was a crime..you were accusing me of making stuff up about what you liked and wanted....I just pointed out
what YOU WROTE .and I really don't think you were TOTALLY joking.

I can't forgive Gabby's love of pastels, but she does have a valid opinion in this instance.

Dear OP you are 29, if you can't spot an old player at that age, well I'm a little aghast.
I feel like I just walked into an episode of Sex in the City. Someone get me the smelling salts, I feel faint.

Gabby doesn't seem to understand that relationships fail and that people become hurt, not really sure why....

oh..I do understand...I just don't don't understand how some people deal with it...and why they use it to try and gain sympathy and attention.

I also understand that people only have their perspective of what the problems really were...which could be very accurate, or entirely scewed...or a
combination of both.

In my observation of relationships..people who are truly heartbroken don't advertise it to a bunch of strangers, and it takes a long while before they
are ready to take a risk with their heart once again.

oh..I do understand...I just don't don't understand how some people deal with it...and why they use it to try and gain sympathy and attention. I
also understand that people only have their perspective of what the problems really were...which could be very accurate, or entirely scewed...or a
combination of both. I my observation of relationships..people who are truly heartbroken don't advertise it to a bunch of strangers, and it takes a
long while before they are ready to take a risk with their heart once again.

Do not allow your expectations of others get the best of you time and time again.

She is young.

She is sad, yet not saddened to the point of not looking and hoping Mr. Right may indeed be out here and possibly on this site. I mean....why do you
care so much what her intentions are?

My Grandmother once told me to keep my porch clean and not worry about whether or not the neighbor has hers clean. When you maintain your own porch it
will keep you busy with your own affairs and not worry about others.

I only say this not to hurt you but to show you that others will hurt you time and time again if you are consistent with holding them on a pedestal
with expectations.

With any relationship (or one that has just begun like with the OP) you can choose to walk away when your expectations are not met....you do not have
to sit in the expectation bowl of shiat and wallow in it.

And by all means...if you see me around doing the same thing....remind me.

Gabby, Do not allow your expectations of others get the best of you time and time again. She is young.

trust me..I have learned very well to not have any expectations from people...and she is 29 years old for crying out loud..that's plenty old
enough to have gained some wisdom.

My Grandmother once told me to keep my porch clean and not worry about whether or not the neighbor has hers clean. When you maintain your own porch it
will keep you busy with your own affairs and not worry about others.

..wise words..so why don't you stay out of this, and keep your own porch clean,and not worry about mine..?

I only say this not to hurt you but to show you that others will hurt you time and time again if you are consistent with holding them on a pedestal
with expectations.

again..you really don't understand me..I don't put people on a pedestal...but you give them advice to do it to themselves..which i think is very
unwise.. here is a quote from one of your posts below..

You HAVE got to think like this..... If you are on a date with a man...he is lucky. Plain and simple. You bring this, this, and that to the table.
He needs to prove himself worthy of ONE more date....can he do it? I AM WORTHY OF THE BEST so I am placing myself on a pedestal and any man that
wants a chance with me will have to come to me on MY level ....waaaaay up here. You are a princess!!

I thought that advice was way over the top..and while we should have value in ourselves and self worth, does the man not have value and self worth as
well.. can the man not say ..you are lucky I asked you out on a date, now come up to my level ..way up there?? Honestly I just about spewed my coffee
all over my monitor while reading that...and than you have the audacity to play psychologist with me, and tell me my expectations of people are my
problem?

With any relationship (or one that has just begun like with the OP) you can choose to walk away when your expectations are not met....you do not have
to sit in the expectation bowl of shiat and wallow in it.

Exactly what I have said in other posts..if you're not happy move on...so please don't try and teach me anything I already know.

There are exceptions to this though, because I'm sure there are a few women out there, maybe men as well..who don't have a choice..to move on due to
financial hardships..and no where to go. It isn't always possible when you have children to consider as well..to just move on..so those of you who
are in this type of situation ...and wish they could leave, my very deepest sympathies to you...and I understand you decision to stay.

And by all means...if you see me around doing the same thing....remind me. Peace and love to ya!!! xoxoxo

Anyone who wants to be accepted for "who they really are" has to have the guts to be "who they really are" in the first place. In other words
don't try to put on airs, or try too hard to please others who make no effort to please you.

oh..I do understand...I just don't don't understand how some people deal with it...and why they use it to try and gain sympathy and attention.

Maybe they have no one else to talk with ?

I also understand that people only have their perspective of what the problems really were...which could be very accurate, or entirely scewed...or a
combination of both.

And technically you have neither so I'm not sure why you believe you can speak with such authority ?

In my observation of relationships..people who are truly heartbroken don't advertise it to a bunch of strangers, and it takes a long while before
they are ready to take a risk with their heart once again.

Crap, I guess if I look at something in a different manner than you do I'm screwed ?

You know Gabby, the more i read your answers the more i am convinced that you are probably a very unhappy woman who got her heartbroken by someone and
have some hidden anger towards men and obviously women. I can see that for some reason you are jealous of the so called "attention" and the
sympathy that i got. Many posters have noticed that why do you care so much about what my goal is in this thread. Of what actual benefit is it to you?
If you have something to say, make your own thread. Let me be the author of this and tell my story of what has happened to me. Last I checked there is
no rule out there that dictates how long i should be sad, how much i should cry, or how much i should grieve. Everyone handles their breakups
different. Some get wasted and drunk, others party, others sit at home and sulk for a period of time. Others, try to go out there and find another
person to whom they can have a shoulder to cry on.

If i decide to do any of the above, that is my business and mine solely. You aren't nothing but a person behind a computer desk stating your opinion.
You don't command anyone how to feel or what to feel.

As for me being 29, I'm still young and i'm still learning my way around relationships. This was a person whom i knew for a long time and we were
coworkers. He was a friend and that eventually our friendship developed into something else. This was my first time dating someone older than me.
Apparently, he ended up having a different agenda than mine. Which is okay, because if I wasn't fit for him, he is free to find someone else who
better suits his needs and I have the freedom to find someone who suits my needs.

The bottom line is this... How I grieve and to what level my heartbreak is MINE only. NOT yours. Stop trying to convince others and stop trying to
convince yourself what doesn't exist because i repeat once again, you were not in my relationship at any point or time.

Originally posted by Pantherapardus
Just let her be...stop attacking and being jealous.

edit on 23-9-2011 by Pantherapardus because: (no reason given)

Only small minded people who care only about their own ego's would see this as being jealous...or try to pretend its jealousy...or want it to be
jealousy in their own minds cause they can't handle what I'm really trying to say.

Tell me what do I have to be jealous about?? Some lame ass story about how hurt someone is ...so they can end up attracting the same kind of man that
will hurt them again?

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