Monday, May 11, 2009

I got my mom a new ipod because she filled up the old one with a ton of random crap. Now she can play around with a new touch and fill it up with a tons more cool crap. For some odd reason I couldn't download the lightsaber application though. I know my mom will love to play with a fake lightsaber on something that should play only music but also does millions of other ridiculous things like have lightsaber applications. Whatever.

My only observation from Mother's Day was the fact that I saw millions of Indian people at California Pizza Kitchen during lunch. I'm not sure if there was some special thing going on but as I looked around I noticed tons of Indian families. Sure California Pizza Kitchen is really good but I've never been in a restaurant (other than India House) where I'm the minority to a bunch of Indian people. God bless them on Mother's Day but it was a weird situation. I had no idea what the f*ck was going on.

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This isn't exactly a new feature or something that is inspired by Mother's Day (certainly not this song) but I am going to try and upload new songs/music videos that I currently am enjoying. Our first song is "Death of Me" by Red. I usually listen to this song when I'm murdering giraffe's and kicking squirrels and racoons in alleys and now I've come across the music video. Whenever I listen to intense rock music I usually imagine myself running from serial killers chasing me down the street and this video depicts exactly that. Plus it's a fun f*cking song.

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Also, a few other sidenotes from Sunday:

- Glen "Big Baby" Davis hit a winning jumper for the Celtics against the Magic in the NBA Playoffs on Sunday. The fact he hit the jumper is funny since he's a huge fat ass. He has played well since Kevin Garnett got injured but still he's a mega douchebag. He cried one time on the bench when Kevin Garnett yelled at him during a game. You don't cry when you're 6'8 429 lbs. FAT BABY. Also, if you catch video of Davis hitting the winning jumper, watch after he makes the shot and turns up court to celebrate with his teammates. Davis runs into a small boy sitting courtside by the Magic bench and almost kills the kid. The kid gets his hat knocked off and looks at Davis like he just happened to get run into by a gigantic, sweaty, hippo. That kid's gonna remember that shit for the rest of his life and probably murder Davis one day while listening to "Death of Me" by Red. It all comes full circle, see?

Speaking of Garnett, when Davis hit the jumper, video of the Celtics bench shows Garnett saluting the Magic bench and making that retarded face he's begun to make in the playoffs. It's the face where it looks like he's constipated and pushing shit into his pants because he's too injured to play. It's really the only reaction he can do nowadays since his body is so damn old and any other motion or reaction will cause him to severly injure himself even more. Garnett has cemented himself as another piece of NBA trash in these playoffs and its unfortunate because he was once a greatly respected NBA player. Now he just makes faces at the other teams benches because his body is equivalent to that of a 67-year old man. Fucking prick.

- Staying on the sports stuff, what the hell is going on on Sportscenter tonight? The anchors are tapping each other out like a WWE match and all the segments just keep running together. Steve Levy starts the show and Tim "I'm a huge retarded piece of NBA castoff shit" Legler comes and taps on his shoulder and takes over the segment. Legler continues to talk and Barry "I'm the coolest dude on the planet" Melrose taps Legler on the shoulder and begins talking about hockey. This went on for the whole show. It was really f'ing weird.

- As for hockey, Melrose came on Sportscenter to talk about the Boston Bruins/Carolina Hurricanes game that happened on Sunday. During the game, which Boston won 4-0, Carolina's Scott Walker sucker-punched Boston's Aaron Ward in the face after the whistle had blown. Ward had to leave the ice and word is he has a broken orbital bone.

There's no real idea why Walker did it but it was clearly a sucker-punch and one that will most likely land Walker on the bench for at least 5 games. It's unfortunate because right now there is nothing more in the world that I want than for Walker to get a skate blade to his eyeballs.

Hockey is that great sport where retaliation really does hurt and Walker deserves to have his face beaten in with a hockey stick. Boston, down 3-1 in the series going into the game, suddenly has a bit of life and an even bigger reason to kick Carolina's ass. The ridiculous hit on Ward has the team fired up and ready to fight this war with Carolina and potentially win. The series was slowly crawling to a boring finish and now has new life. As usual, the NHL Playoffs never disappoint. As for Walker, I hope he had a terrible Mother's Day. I bet his mom's a bitch too.

- Lastly, here's a video you've probably seen. It's blown up on the internet today and continues to make people believe that SNL still has some value. Andy Sandberg & Justin Timberlake are brilliant. Happy Mother's Day and have a great week!

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