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In other words, here are some dating tips when seducing Google into giving you a higher ranking. It’s sort of like the Bachelorette of the Internet.

So what does Google look for in a website?

Google might be big and powerful, but she’s still a woman (stay with me here…).

1. Are you, like, popular?

Google wants to know if you have a lot of cool friends who like to hang out with you. Yes, we’re talking visitor traffic to your site. Google might raise you on her dance card if your site has:

a high number of visitors,
but it’s even better if you have…

a high number of ‘unique visitors’ (i.e. first-timers – Google likes it if you make a good first impression)
but it’s even better if you have…

a high number of unique visitors who then return a lot and wander around your site for ages in wonderment
but it’s even better if you have…

a high number of unique visitors who then return a lot and wander around your site for ages in wonderment and subscribe to your newsletter and/or your RSS feed and/or buy stuff and/or leave a comment and/or email you directly, and/or engage in your visitor poll (quick online survey), etc.

In summary: Have a cool group of friends – that just keeps getting bigger and bigger – who like to do stuff with you.

How do you do this? By being attractive, interesting and interested in those who come to visit you.

2. Are you, like, into talking about stuff?

Google isn’t into the smouldering silent type. She hangs with chatty, social personalities.

Constantly changing content, particularly on your home page, is a good thing. Constantly changing content that have great keywords (relevant to your site) is even better.

This is why blog sites are so popular with Google. The format of blogs is inspire new articles, regularly posted, right there on the home page. And they are also strongly designed to inspire visitor comments (remember that visitor interaction thing in dating tip #1).

However, if you have a website instead, your Google cred can still be intact. You can still have changing news on your home page with an opportunity for people to comment. Everything is possible. Just make sure you have a CMS (content management) website so you can go in and change anything at any time.

3. Are, like, other cool people talking about you?

Inbound links are a biggie when it comes to winning Google’s heart. ‘Inbound links’ means persuading other quality websites to link to your own.

Remember: Google cares more about the quality of your links than the quantity.

Start with those you knowBegin with good industry contacts you already have established and propose a link swap (i.e. I’ll link to yours if you link to mine…).

Research your online communityCheck out those related to your industry (including online member’s directories for associations) and propose a link swap.

Find out who links to your competitors
And propose a link swap.

Visit relevant blogs and forumsand build a relationship with the people who write them (even if you make a comment you can often have your URL displayed – yes, that’s your link!).

Create videos, podcasts, articles and free tools
And use these to compel other sites to link to you – examples: Youtube (free video), iTunes (free podcasts), Articlesbase (free articles).

Also make sure you are listed on Google maps. It’s free (yes, even Google has her generous moments). Plus Google Maps allows keyword tags in your profile. If you don’t want people turning up on your doorstep, use a PO box address. Too easy.

4. Do you want to, like, get married?

Google doesn’t want a fly-by-nighter. She likes the solid ones who have been around awhile.

The longer your site has been online, the higher your ranking is likely to be. It’s just one of those things.

Final episode

Just because Google is partial to polyandry doesn’t mean she won’t give you the affection you want. You just need to play by her rules, whatever they are. Women really never tell you, do they?

So the above is advice given by SEO experts around the place who have tested their theories by taking Google on different kinds of dates to see what makes this mysterious woman smile.

But, the problem is, she’s a fickle individual who will never kiss and tell. So we just keep buying those flowers and chocolates and calling her number again…and again…

What’s next in the Google dating game?

Prostitution. When people say, ‘We can get you on the first page of Google’ they are generally pimps, touting pay-per-chick advertising services. We’re talking AdWords campaigns.

This post was written by Megan Hills. Megan is a writer, cartoonist, marketing consultant who is looking forward to writing about making a meaningful connection with real people – rather than these superficial, popularity-seeking search engine spiders. Find out more about Megan.