An Open Letter To My Ex: This Is How Hurt I Was When You Left

What you did to me – is something I did not expect from you. All I ever did is love you. I prioritized your happiness over mine; even over to my family. I gave you my full attention, but all those years I am just a decoration in your life, a hidden secret. Because I loved you too much over the span of 3 years. It was a life of constant pain but it was okay coz I love you. And the pain of losing you is unbearable compared to the physical and emotional pain you’ve caused every now and again.

But the one time that I caused you too much pain you use it against me, You probably made it the reason for you to think its okay to seek comfort from other people. Or maybe that’s what you’ve been telling yourself, that it’s okay to move on from me coz I’ve caused too much pain. That was 1 time, I thought we were stronger than that, i had faith in our relationship. You used to tell me you’re not that kind of person who gets into relationship that easily after previous relationship, I trusted your words.. I trusted you.

But clearly that’s not the case anymore because now you’re with someone else. And while you’re happy with that person, I am here trying to salvage the pieces of my broken heart. I am here crying myself over someone that doesn’t deserve my tears. You told me to be happy, if it was very easy to be happy after what you did I would have chosen to be just that. But it’s very difficult, because the pain is overwhelming and it is what I’ve been feeling for the past 3weeks. And yes you told me it’ll be easier for me to get over you because I have new set of friends, I hope it’s that easy but who am I kidding. But that’s what you’ve been telling yourself right? To make you feel better, that I’ve got them so I should be fine. What else have you been telling yourself to justify your actions? To free yourself from guilt? That I have changed? Is that makes you feel okay of what you are doing to me right now? That I have somebody else in my life too? You know me better than that. And I wouldn’t be this hurt and angry if indeed I have somebody else in my life.

But keep on telling yourself that, to make you feel good. Because thats what you always do, and you’re very good at it — being selfish. Good luck to both of you, good luck to your future because unless you’ll change your attitude towards people, your personality, the way you think. You will always end up unsatisfied and unhappy. So enjoy the moment while that person doesn’t know the real you, because the moment that’s person discover who you really are, that person will realize how sickening you are. That beneath that facade you perfectly put up, is a rotten individual. Because you value other people’s opinion more than the people that matters.

I have to hand it to you though, you’re one gutsy person. You even blocked me. D’you think I will run after you this time? After what you did? My friends are right, it’s better to get rid of the toxic people in my life as early as now, and I really think my life would be better without you. I should be with people who will support me and will encourage me to do great things about my life, clearly that’s not you. Because what you’ve done all these years was pull me down. You’ve became the worst critic in my life, not the kind that gave me advice to be a better person but that one who just gave ill opinion for the sake of putting my confidence down, and it shouldn’t be like that. You were like an anchor that hindered me from moving forward. I didn’t know that before because I was blinded by my feelings, but now I can clearly see things. You are not worthy of my undying devotion. Time will come I will thank you for doing this to me, for breaking my spirit, for crashing my heart. But not today, no. Today I will bitchslap you with the truth!!

Enjoy your moment with that person because I know for sure that’s temporary, or If you’ll end up with together, well and good. Your welfare and happiness , or your image is the least of my concern now. So don’t ask me to promise something to you, because you’re not in the position of asking favors from me now. Continue looking over you’re shoulder, because people will judge you. And I won’t be there to give assurance anymore because am not obliged to make you feel better. The truth will eventually come out sooner or later and good luck! Karma is a bitch, it will catch up on you very soon. I’m so done with you now.

If anything, thanks for the 3years of being with you. It was longer than I expected it to last. You’re always be my dream come true, even when it turned out to be a nightmare. And literally, t’was hell of a ride. Thanks for the memories though it was not all bad. This is my last piece of the puzzle before I move on. Now live your life the way you wanna live it. And good riddance.

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Published by Novaresa

Blogger, Photo enthusiast, Wanderer, I love adventure, making new friends, experiencing new things, and making choices that might lead to bigger opportunities.
“It’s not the prize nor the score. It’s not the fame, nor the win. It’s never the glory or people’s cheer. It’s not even how far or how fast you are. Life is a race and we should run. But in the end what matters most is WHO YOU ARE & WHO YOU BECOME”
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Hello day. Distance makes the heart go fonder and this doesn’t put a dot to our endless pursuit for answers; this does not undo the pain nor our reckless entry to an uninsured sojourn with a person we want to be by our side. You’ve gave a handful of years and I am sure how regret is knocking at your door but the adage heats up: Move on, that’s life.