I need more confidence!

Feb 5, 2008

"For about 4 or 5 years I've been having really low self-confidence, but it only got worse this year. I'm not a cheerleader anymore and I look at all of my friends who are light skinned and feel ugly because I'm brown skinned. I try to be confident, I want to be a model and I know you have to be fierce and have confidence, but I just get nervous. Really nervous. Sometimes I feel like I just don't measure up. I need to know how I can be myself around people I don't know without shaking with nervousness." - Crystal, 16

Ok Crystal - you can do this! First, you have to begin making peace with the beautiful color of your skin. It's the body you've been given and instead of channeling so much energy into hating it or comparing it - try loving it and honoring it. Figure out what kind of clothes you can wear that make your skin and figure shine. Basically what I'm saying is - it's yours and you have to "own it"!

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Sometimes it's great to have nerves - it gets us checked into our gut instinct and reminds us that we are human. But if your nerves are really based on being afraid people are rejecting you (or might reject you) then it is interfering with the very thing you want to be - open and confident. But you can't get there if you feel you "just don't measure up". It's time to do some journaling - I want you to write down all the different areas you think you don't measure up in - or all the areas you are afraid you don't fit in. Take a good long look at that list. Then tear it up. Now, make a new list of all the accomplishments and areas you really shine in - come on, don't be shy - write down everything fantastic about you. That's really who you are. Now, when you walk down the hallway try to at least make eye contact with people. It will be scary at first but just that small step can bring you back into feeling confident and shaking the nervousness. But remember, you have to believe you are worth it - and no one can do that inner work but you!