Issue: Money

Fights around this topic tend to be pretty deeply rooted in emotions, says Porter.

For example, if your partner wasn’t happy with your splurge on the deluxe suite during your last vacation, it may be because he has a history of financial insecurity and likes to deliberate before spending.

All of a sudden, your generous gesture becomes a blowup.

Handle it like a happy couple: Practice empathy.

Seeing the whole picture—vulnerabilities and all—can help you have a more productive conversation, says Porter.

So instead of defending your upgrade and calling your partner stingy, take the time to ask your partner why this upsets them so much. And be receptive to what he says.