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Archive for July, 2015

Well it is Monday. Big weekend of sport with the only icing remaining is for an Aussie to triumph at St Andrews. So lets start with the golf

It was looming as a great couch potato night on Saturday with golf and cricket starting before my bedtime. So, just after the 6 pm news. Sadly the golf was not on and the cricket one sided. Now if Kerry Packer was running golf and we didnt worry so much about traditions they would have been out playing in the puddles and the gales. Because it would have been funny to watch. All hackers love seeing Pros struggle or having to hit a One wood into a 170 m Par 3. Instead the tournament stretches into tonight and while the Aussies are well placed you wont even see them tee off before 11 pm. There were some other highlights though including Tom Terrific’s final appearance. An emotional time leading to a disappointing bogey at the last rather easy hole – due to his nemesis of last 20 years, a streaky putter. And we also had the vision of Sir( English sportsperson who won more than a meat tray = knighthood) Nick Faldo walking up the last proudly wearing the same pullover he wore 30 years ago at Muirfield. Now Nick is a great commentator these days but a very vain man by all appearances which also accounts for the fact his hair is still the same colour as it was 30 years ago too! Tiger missed another cut. One can only wonder when that no longer is really news

The cricket was one sided from the get go. Golfers in tournaments can receive a big advantage simply based on draw as happened in first day at the Open when the early groups had a huge advantage and can even in fact be difference between making cut or not (Yes Tiger played early as well!). Same with the toss in cricket which is a bit unfortunate when you think about it. A match can be largely decided before a ball is bowled. Once we won toss and batted Poms were always going to struggle. And of course as always happens what appears to be a road to one team suddenly becomes a minefield to the other. Nevill and Marsh looked the goods so Watto may as well go home now. Johnson bowled well and it was a great team effort – almost the perfect match much like the Maroons in SOO 3. It will be the next test that tells us where we really are. We better win the toss!

On a weekend when we were at the spiritual home of golf and cricket it was only fitting that the Davis Cup was played at its spiritual home in Australia – Darwin! Now to be fair it was an easy mistake. Kyrgios was asked about his thoughts on Davis Cup at last press conference and said “I will likely crack a poo”. Cloth eared TA officials thought he said “I would like to see Kakadu” so quickly changed venue to Darwin to entice him to play. Sound plan that worked a treat. Not. Luckily Little Ley Ley did his usual trick and one can only hope that Nick the Greek spends some more time with LL because he started out as an insufferable twat too. I do think LL should not bar up after match point even if very excited though – not a good look

NRL is getting to the business end and while Broncs are travelling well would agree that Roosters are deserved favourites as long as they can avoid injuries and their AAA rating – Arrests, Assaults and AVOs. Cowboys are a definite chance as well of course. Talk of switching GF to Suncorp is nonsense but they have had some great events there of late and really if hearing “Never Walk Alone” in a full stadium doesnt give you goosebumps you just may be dead

It wouldnt be a Monday without a moan about Channel 9. Before heading out to golf course had the Today show on to get the 6 am bulletin . Yeah what was I thinking? The shark footage was rather amazing though I must say. They say a Great White and probably right although he did seem to not have his heart in it, let alone his teeth. Fair sized fin though and maybe the most amazing footage was seeing his Aussie mate paddling in to help out at great speed with no concern for own safety. They are a unique breed, your average surfer

Then we had the Bronnie Bishop nonsense. Most politicians that rise to a high position have a certain arrogance of course. With people like Keating or Howard for example it was well earnt but more importantly they had a sense of the office and some respect borne out of years in opposition. Much like a couple of the current Labour ministers in the Qld government some never understand that and it all happens a bit too quick for them. That cant be said for BB who has been around for ever and should be paying her own carbon tax on that hairdo. Remember when she was the great Liberal hope back in the early 90’s for about 3 weeks until, like with all ultra conservatives, they are soon found out to have a very limited knowledge across the spectrum and are one theme clowns. As PK so beautifully described her ” all tip, no iceberg”. I have never understood why The Speaker is such a high position and BB has only added to the confusion. She really shouldnt smile, it is a scary look and kids could be watching. Speaking of which…….

But wait there is more drivel to come for the Today show. They had an article on the latest $100 mill grant for a new plan “Kick and Play” to get school kids more active. That totally insipid stand in host Campbell suggested “the biggest problem I think is that parents spend too much time on Facebook and Twitter and dont play with their kids” But the best was yet to come “What do you think Australia? Jump on Facebook or twitter and let us know” Fuck me slowly. You cant write this stuff. Media Watch naturally is my must watch program each week and they did a great bit last week on the ridiculous reporting by 9 on the Lorna Jane non issue where she wanted to hire a small skinny woman to tell other small skinny women how good they look – oh and answer the phone and make the tea. Now much like their 60 minute fiasco they only told half the story but of more concern were the half hourly crosses to the store in Brisvegas waiting for it to open and hoping to find an angry mob outside threatening to boycott. Sadly the only women around at the time were drinking coffee and eating donuts so not really your LJ demographic.

Well what a night lay ahead – SOO decider and the first day of the Ashes. One big question remained. Which Aussie cricketer would Liz Hayes do a hatchet job on the day of the match ? As usual Channel 9 had the monopoly on broadcast which did lead to an interesting contrast. Which long drawn out pre match nonsense would bore you to tears first ? It was a draw really although the cross to Heals and Tubs with red and blue scarves on was hard to beat for cringe me now material. The cricket started fist by a bee’s dick so lets go there now

There is nothing better in Test Cricket then the first session on the first day of the first test of the Ashes series. Sadly we were in Cardiff and playing in the car park it appeared. The first 3 balls of Starc’s first over bounced three times before Haddin could even drop them. They were nowhere near the actual stumps so the batsman was safe. Mitch was getting some new ink so they opened with Hazelwood and he was more impressive. Sadly now, SOO was about to start so missed the first wicket live but saw the replay and then Cook’s wicket later on. Someone who looks a lot like Ian Bell but batted like Ian Thorpe ( Note: Interesting fact. Though Bigfoot is an accomplished cricketer he has never bowled a maiden over) came and went quickly and is no longer the threat he once was. Then Rooty comes out , scratches around knicks the ball and the rout is on. Then Haddin drops it. Some say it was a tough catch, I say he made it look harder than it was by going with one hand. To be fair, the ball was not carrying through well. The rout was off, boredom set in and the match is rather evenly poised although to be honest would prefer to be in England’s shoes. As stated in other media commitments ( not bloody 60 Minutes!) it was a dead flat trick but can we at least agree that the much vaunted Aussie pace attack (“Spoilt for Choice – Who do we leave out??”) are not The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse but rather a good pace attack than can be a handful when conditions suit. For God’s sake, Warnie get over there and start bagging Starc will ya

So speaking of overrated sportsmen put your hand up if ya got sick and tired of hearing in the last month how Klemmer was the love spawn of Artie Beetson and Steve Roach who just had a blood transfusion from Mark Geyer. The blues biased media just loved him including respected folk like Paul Kent. Seriously they and a lot of many other good judges thought a Blues Dynasty was just around the corner especially with Blake Carrington in as skipper. You know the guy who use to play for Cronulla but now only plays rep matches.
They even got Alexis back as the hooker – talk about type casting. The Farrah fun and games may have even backfired on them but by all means exploit the rules if you can – Qld have in the past. Being an avid Maroon supporter can be hard especially when they are capable of a performance like last night at times. NSW were simply blown of the field with enthusiastic and hard defense and strong running behind cool calm heads like Smith and Cronk and the sheer brilliance of JT. Who else agrees we dont need Billy ? Chambers looked much better at centres and Gagai impressed. GI was dangerous at the back as expected and Parker always a threat. Hodges had a great last game highlighted by a lot of nothing runs and a couple of touches of brilliance. Pretty well his stock game these days. You really need to sit down and watch the game again without the hype and tension to really appreciate what someone like Smith does. And the icing on the cake is JTs mecurial kicking. You could almost feel sorry for the Blues or at least Loz. For the previous 5 matches they could have won them all and this could have been a dead match. Instead some Blues Origin careers are over you would think and they have to climb the mountain again knowing that the bulk of the Qld side will be around for a couple more years and can still put on a stellar performance like last night when needed. It was Big Mal’s birthday but it did seem odd that he carried around a big cake under his shirt at training all week just in case. The boy has been in a good paddock. Which of course reminds us all once more what a brilliant stadium Lang Park is.

SOO is over for another year and the world has returned to normal. Better still, one less show that requires the dial set on 9.Yes my TV still has a dial and rabbit ears.

Two sporting stories have taken over most of the news in the last 24-36 hrs and of course the media added the icing as always

While most people of Greek Heritage were saying “No”, Nick Kyrgios preferred much more colorful language. It is one thing to swear at the umpire but then in some lame press conference mea culpa ,no doubt suggested by his “team” , he insisted the “dirty scum” comment was aimed at himself. Yeah sure. Still he is a Playa (not a Player like most) so no doubt some Aussie fans still swooned at his backhand or his drop shot. We love to chop down the tall poppies but he is hardly there yet so lets keep pumping him up. Aussies like their sporting heroes to have character afterall eh Warnie. But then he goes on to play the cheese-eating surrender monkey and does the one thing no true Aussie can accept – he tanked it. Little Ley Ley was an obnoxious brat with the best of them at first but he slowly matured and more importantly always showed ticker – and would never walk away from Davis Cup even to go to the toilet with his Sorbent. I tend to compare the behaviour of most sportspeople to golfers which may or may not be fair but it is interesting. There are many similarities, not the least being megarich at a young age and they are individual sports. Golf though is renowned for its honour, respect for tradition and sportsmanship and even your backyard hacker plays within these self imposed rules because that is the game you choose. It is afterall one of the easiest games in the world to cheat at and maybe there in lies the secret. The other interesting comparison is that in tennis it appears that most tournaments are won by one of the top 3-4 players in the event. Maybe seeding plays a part in this. In golf it is not unusual for the 50th ranked player in the world to win in a given event against the best in the world. In fact one day the 256th ranked player could win – if Tiger can improve his driving! So really, saying that Kyrgios is a top 30 ranked player doesnt mean that much to moi. Now as much as I loathe the actions of Kyrgios , Dawn Fraser should just shut up. What a stupid comment to make. Nick is not alone of course but I cant really call Tomic a top ranked player and keep a straight face. Only time will tell if these clowns can mature but sadly I doubt it will happen because there are simply to many yes men around them. And the money keeps rolling in

Then we get to 60 minutes and the Cam Smith story. Oh, you thought it was about Alex ? Come on, this is channel 9. Ok have not watched the show – simply refuse to watch anything on 9 that is not sport or the odd news report – but have seen some clips. No one would deny Alex the chance to make some money (a book is on the way) or to be an angry young man. So, have no real problem with him being pissed off at Cammy who it must be admitted does not look good arguing with the ref at the time. He has always had the squeaky clean image off the field but is less well regarded from other players for some on field niggle and cheap shots. The annoying aspects though are a)the timing 3 days before one of the more important SOOs in recent years and b) Channel 9 treating their own story as NEWS! Seriously, it was the 3rd story on the news at 6pm! The cynic in me, who to be fair has been getting a lot of time lately, would suggest the timing was deliberate even with the pending book release and it is my understanding that the Rise for Alex round is not until Round 19 later in the month. Showing it next Sunday would have been perfect lead in – but of course after SOO 3 when eyelash boy simply returns to being Storm skipper and occasional shaver. Media interest would have dropped by 50% and we all know the media is run by NSW 🙂 It would appear by all reports that Storm management/players (? Smith) regularly tried to contact Alex in the weeks after. For a complete story, Smith’s side of events should have been given air or at least acknowledged. But that is not how 60 minutes works of course. Their response? “This was Alex’s story so no need to contact Smith. The facts of the story are not in dispute” .Facts???? On Channel 9! Give me a break. It was a clear set up for maximum impact. Conspiracy theorists revel in these yarns but at the end of the day their underhanded dealing and presentation of the story has detracted from what is an amazing and inspirational tale. People should be caring about how Alex will fare in the future, not whether Smith did this or that after the event

Rarely does a week pass when the media doesnt not piss me off in some way so while on my fave subject why is that whenever a media “personality” takes a break it has to be described as a “well earnt break” ? Who gives a crap. Do we really think Ray Hadlee only works 3 hours a day? Nope. Do they ever report on the news that “the shark attack victim could not be saved because the Vascular Surgeon was having a well earnt break”. No, because another surgeon steps in and no one cares. Of course if the PM (of either persausion) is on a rare holiday when something important happens then they are very quick to suggest he should come back to work. Well, I will give you a leave pass Hadlee, Jones, Stefanovic et al. Stay on holidays. No one cares.