One million cockroaches have escaped from a Chinese science lab

In case you haven’t heard, a science lab in Dafeng, China, that has been breeding cockroaches for experiments has gone all to hell. Yes, apparently, Chinese scientists claim extracts from cockroaches can lead to medicinal cures from cancer to inflammation — weird, I know, but we haven’t time to discuss right now. An “unknown perpetrator” trespassed onto Wang Pengsheng’s farm in the Jiangsu province at some point in the last few days and busted open the plastic greenhouse in which the roaches were kept.

Now, the cockroaches have fled — more than one million of them — and Wang says there is no way of knowing which way they’ve gone. Only that they were being fed “fruit and biscuits” every day to keep them alive and hungry. So, basically, if you’re reading this and are in possession of fruits or biscuits, even English muffins, take a minute and turn around. Look around you and underneath you. No one is safe.