Luigi’s restaurant (and Luigi the character) have become firmly entrenched in the world of The Simpsons, so it might surprise you to learn that Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song is the first appearance of both the character and the restaurant on the show. Here’s a fun fact: Luigi’s full name is actually Luigi Risotto!

Luigi’s Menu Items:

Pizza (with your choice of topping)

Plate of the red crap

Lobster

Crap from a can

Half order of garlic bread

There are probably other menu items I’m missing, so please add more in the comments. We’ve already talked about Luigi, but what about Salvatore? As far as I can tell, he shows up in two episodes and is one of the chefs at the restaurant. Also, Luigi apparently feels comfortable yelling private conversations to Salvatore, despite the fact that his customers can hear him. Salvatore gets no lines of his own, but I like to imagine he’s just as disinterested in providing a quality dinning experience as Luigi is.

Mr. Burns: Bravissimo, Luigi! Bring us your finest bottle of vino!Luigi: Hey, you trust-ah Luigi, huh? He knows-ah what for to make-ah really nice the amore.Jackie: Oh, Monty, I’ve never been to a more romantic restaurant.Luigi: Hey, Salvatore! Break out the cheap hooch for Mr. No-Tip and the dried-up-ah zombie he’s-ah captured!– Lady Bouvier’s Lover (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 21)

Well it seems Luigi treats everyone like scum except Krusty. I mean who doesn’t look like scum compared to krusty?
And Luigi does also serve fresh pasta but only for patrons with big boobs. And also he employs Angelo to chew for those big boobed ladies if their mouths get tired. It’s gross but apparantly Angelo likes to chew.
So if you want a good dining experience at Luigi’s you have to A: Be a naturaly well endowed women. B: Get breast implants. Or C: Be Krusty the Clown or become a licenced Krusty impersonator at his clown college.
And while not on the menu at Luigi’s one could eat (or make *wink wink*) Homer’s in resturant creation, A Big Spaghetti Dinner Smothered in Whipped Cream.

I’ve been avoiding the whipped cream spaghetti because, well, I guess that should be obvious. And I think you missed another option for a good dining experience at Luigi’s: get breast implants AND be Krusty the Clown I mean, does anyone here him complaining about the breasts?.