1. I had wanted to get Katharine a new cellphone for Xmas, but then we started talking about changing plans, or then combining plans, and then it turned out that her current plan expired in March, and we ended up deciding to revisit the cellphone thing then. HOWEVER, it appeared that I was eligible for a free phone upgrade. And so today during my lunch hour I moseyed over to the Verizon store on 43rd and Madison and got me a new, snazzy phone. I wish I could say it was really that quick and easy, though - it took the better part of an hour, at least 20 minutes of which was spent while my customer service person was hanging out in the tech support area eating cookies and joking with her co-workers. I know this because I watched her.

Holy shit, we ARE getting out of here early today! So, let me leave you with this McSweeney's gem:

Character From aThomas Pynchon Novelor Someone WhoRecently Sent MeSpam? BY MATT BARNHART