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Latching issues-long rant

Hi,
Im frustrated to the point of tears and I dread having to feed my LO because most of the time the end result is gassiness, crying and inability to sleep uninterrupted. I'm having latching issues with my almost 3 month old. We've come a long way to overcome my over active letdown and milk oversupply and now I have one more hurdle to jump. My LO has difficulty maintaining a deep latch. It's a feat if I can even get a deep latch because he's always wiggling or throwing his arms everywhere when I try to latch him sitting up in my lap. When I do get him to latch he'll drink for literally 3-4 min before he breaks suction and starts gulping air and chokes when I pull him off. He'll start to let the milk pool in his mouth or forget to swallow and he'll choke on a big gulp. I pull him off and I burp him every time he gulps down air but he's in a constant state of gassiness. After that happens he latches horribly by flanging his bottom lip but over extending his top lip on my breast instead of flanging it too. It's a pattern that's been accidentally established and I don't know what to do. I was thinking of having a lactation specialist watch to see what I'm doing wrong. Maybe my over active letdown is too much again. I've tried expressing before he latches and also pulling off when my milk lets down. I would bottle feed with my milk but he's worse on the bottle with gulping and gasping for air even with a slow flow. He can't handle a bottle yet so I'm exclusively breastfeeding. The bottle is a whoooole other issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Re: Latching issues-long rant

You sound so frustrated and sad, mama! The first thing I think you should do is to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself that you are AWESOME. Breastfeeding is the easiest thing in the world when it's easy, and the hardest thing in the world when it's not. And the same goes for mothering.

I know your baby is a gassy little fusspot who doesn't sleep. But there's an excellent chance that he'd be a gassy little fusspot who doesn't sleep even if you'd formula-fed him from day one. Gassiness, fussiness, and sleep disturbances are just par for the course with young babies. The difference between a nursing mom and a formula-feeding mom is that the nursing mom is more likely to blame herself for her child's behavior.

That being said, I think it's an excellent idea to see a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC. It sounds like your LO is still struggling with a fast flow of milk- he's feeding so quickly, he's gagging and choking and letting milk pool in his mouth, he's gassy, he's fussy at the breast. But some of this might be because he's still so young. Older babies can usually handle a fast flow without making a big fuss, but younger, less adept babies can struggle with even a normal milk flow, just because they are young and not yet super-skilled at breastfeeding.

Re: Latching issues-long rant

Yes, get help! An IBCLC is a good idea to start.
And if baby is not flanging his upper lip, it is worth having him checked for tongue and lip ties. Disorganized suck can cause choking and gassiness even with slow flow. The fact that he has trouble with bottles too means he may need some oral motor therapy just to make eating easier but then again, if the tongue tie is severe, getting it released could possibly have an immediate effect even without therapy. Sometimes even babies without tongue/lip ties can benefit from oral motor therapy if they are having difficulty with suck and/or swallowing. Search for speech therapists with experience with infants and feeding issues.