The Pat and Barb Verly family and their 5 children, in laws and grandkids along with many prayer warriors have been drawn together by John's cancer... sharing daily for 8 months started this blog- Family Soul Story - Our faith, family, farm and now our cancer journey called HEALING have colored and deepened our world. WE continue to share and depend on the support of our prayer warrior community, that has lowered us into the Lord's presence for His healing!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Little 15 month old Rose is starting to walk at the fair. I found her barefoot and smiling out in the beef barn for lunch today. Both Simon and Mary are showing a small calf tomorrow morning at the beginning of the beef show. They are still in Cloverbuds, so there is not much pressure on them to have everything just so. It was nice to see the two there very quiet and peaceful. It is nice that they have each other. They have been side by side in their little red barn, so this is just a new location but the same old friend at my side. It will be the beef show in the morning and the pig show at night. Pigs are new for our family, but Ruth's husband, Paul, grew up showing both in 4H. So the kids are expanding their horizons following in their dad's footsteps and shownig both beef and pigs.

Farmer Bob made the kids some balloon hats.

A cute Holstein steer looked like he wanted to join us for lunch. Sorry - it's more like you will be lunch for someone in the not too distant future! "You can't be serious." says he with those pleading eyes of his.

Farmgirl Rose looks pretty natural in the barn. You have many years ahead of you around there, Rose. With your new little brother coming - that could be another good 20 years of showing beef and hogs for your family. It does fly by though. Now we are starting over again with the grandkids, we put in our 20+ years and now after a few off we are back at it again. We love the fair and it has been huge for family time in the summer! Now grandpa is the Chairman of the fair board, and that means he is here most every waking hour of the day and night. That must mean that he loves it, right?

And he LOVES to share it with his little granddaughter, Rose Ida. He loves to share the fair with his family - the best of family/farm/fair time! Thanks, Pat, with all your hard work we have wonderful fair memories year after year, and generation after generation! The county fair is definitely a tradition that is well worth all your time and energy. You are a man, who puts much effort and work into something that you value and LOVE! Jesus, we trust in YOU. Bless-bless, Barb

The story of the flower in my hair. I was working with photography in the open class yesterday. A friend from years ago was busy with putting out potted flowers out around the fairgrounds. She popped in suddenly and held this flower out to me and told me that it had broken off, but that I needed to have it for my hair. "You always had a flower in your hair, Barb. You need this!" So sweet and such a step back in time. Yes, I did always wear flowers in my hair and still will from time to time- I even wore it into Walmart last night when I ran errands. Thank you, friend, for recalling my youthful days of wife and motherhood.

Simon and Mary Lanoue will be in the show ring tomorrow morning with their small black calves. They will have help showing since they are in Cloverbuds 4H.

I had to start with this great picture that Mary entered in open class and took the top picture for kids 15 and under - she is just 7! It was taken in Michigan with Nancy's wonderful camera! Great JOB Mary! I, on the other hand, did only fair with my pictures and that is always humbling to look at them through other people's eyes. I also got a real dose of humble pie this morning from another source, and I have that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that comes with knowing that you misstepped and blundered over someone's feelings. I will keep this short today - realizing that sailing away with my thoughts and feelings seems to be not in the best interest always. Today being the feast day of St Ignatius of Loyola marks it as a special day for our family also. My parents were on the Ignation Exercises Silent Retreat when my dad heard the Holy Spirit tell him that they should become Catholic. So I have a lot to thank St Ignatius for, and I do hope that someday I will be able to experience the Exercises - "shove the searcher into the center of the Gospel and leave him alone there with Christ, with the Triune God who speaks to him." Fr Hans Urs Von Balthasar (1988)

Another of Mary's pictures that she got a blue ribbon on at the fair!

Lord, today brings with it the sadness of using my words to unknowingly add to the hurt of another. I am reminded that words not to be taken lightly. Jesus, I am reminded this day by St Ignatius that more time needs to be spent in prayer - asking for your will to be shown to me and that I may be obedient to God's will for me! I continue to thank and praise you for all your blessings upon our family since my parents heard your call into The Church 42 years ago. It was just about this time that I was living in a Christian Commune in Colorado and starting to consider a call to be a sister, and my parents were at the Cenacle Convent in the midst of the Ignation Retreat - my dad was reading Isaiah 55:1-2 - in his silent prayer time the Holy Spirit spoke to him and told him that he should become Catholic! So huge for a Protestant minister and his wife and 11 children! I shared this story on my page about the 13 becoming Catholic, so I will not go at great length here. Lord, how I love to share my story, and yes I am looking at the world through my eyes and that can be selfish if not watched closely. Help me to be more considerate and to walk in other's shoes no matter how tight and uncomfortable that may be. May I take up my Most Cherished Cross and follow after YOU - not counting the cost. So grateful for Your unconditional LOVE and forgiveness. Jesus, I trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"Come to me heedfully, listen that you may have life." Isaiah 55:3 The next verse after Isaiah 55:1-2 describes just what came to us when we listened to the direction of the Holy Spirit and came into The Church - we found LIFE eternal! Here are the two verses ahead of this... so Eucharistic now that we know the food from Heaven - Christ's Body and Blood!

"The Lord says, 'Come, everyone who is thirsty- here is water! Come, you that have no money- buy grain and eat! Come! Buy wine and milk - it will cost you nothing! Why spend money on what does not satisfy? Why spend your wages and still be hungry? Listen to me and do what I say, and you will enjoy the best food of all.' "

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I have never had this date nailed down in my mind - the day that my 4 adopted siblings lost their parents - but today my sister, Cheryl, announced that this was the day of their most horrific loss! I am feeling deeply moved by this as I can now know that I was 15 when we got the shocking news that the Dorn family had all been in a horrible accident - both parents had been killed and the 4 kids had all been hurt as a drunk driver had hit them coming home from a drive in movie early in the morning of July 30th,1967. He hit them driving the wrong way on the road head on! JoAnn, the mother, had said shortly before this that she did not want her kids separated if anything should happen to them. Adding 4 children to a family was a lot to do, and none of the close relatives felt that they could manage it. But the Holy Spirit spoke to my dad and told him that we should add them to our already 7 children - I being the oldest at 15. This was a hard move for all of us! Yet, I see how much my life has been blessed by adding the 4 to my most cherished siblings. The Cross called Family has brought us all to newness of LIFE together. The hardship and pain of loss has caused us to grow ever more in LOVE! Just as when a new little one enters a family LOVE grows - it doesn't get stretched more thin... so our LOVE has gone outside of the normal bonds and entered into a caring and more compassionate place called a family that is open to all that the Lord is calling to enter it. I considered adoption in my own family to expand our horizons, but due to the farm and other issues it was not to be. Instead I have found a spiritual expansion of my family through our involvement in a young people's retreat called Together Encounter Christ! I also have those 7 in heaven that continually brings my eyes and heart to My Heavenly HOME!

I now have a date for this picture too... it must have been August 1976 as we have just taken the 4 into our family. We are introducing them to our beloved Michigan, and the youngest, Carol, who was in the front seat with her parents at the time of the crash still has the cast on her leg. I think that all of us were still in shock, but most especially the 4. Suddenly their parents are gone from this world - how earth shattering! A lot of emotions and feelings are flowing all around me and within me and through me today. There is something very solid and deep about having an actual date to place all of this. I just knew vaguely that I was close to graduating and that we all then moved to Minneapolis as a family the summer after I graduated high school - the summer of 1969. So we had two years to try to blend the two families together in Flint. I think that the relocation to Minnesota really helped to give us all that shared new start, and was huge in bringing us to that place of LOVE and acceptance called Family/domestic Church! Minneapolis brought us to becoming Catholic as a family of 13 after we started attending Charismatic prayer meetings at a convent and through that door we entered the world of Catholicism! For the entire story you may go to my page devoted to this - http://familysoulstory.blogspot.com/p/the-amazing-story-of-13-becoming.html Sharing the move and starting afresh for all of us in a new city/state was huge in our coming together, but the conversion, as a family, into The Church was tremendous in our LOVE! So powerful to recall just how amazing that first Communion was - all 13 of us receiving Jesus in His Body and Blood on Christmas Eve 1971 at the Cenacle Convent in Wayzata! Life has never been the same for me since then... I am forever changed and am HIS!

New Catholics at the farm in Wisconsin. We no longer had the Big Lake to go to, so my parents bought a building site in Wisconsin where we could go as a family to get out of the craziness of the big city and bond as a family while we made the house livable - we never had running water only a pump outside- and to grow a big garden for the family. I think of the wisdom of my parents as they gave big thought and took very seriously raising us and protecting us from harm whether physical or mental or spiritual... they really were amazing parents and still are - I am so blessed!

Jesus, today marks a huge event in the world I live in with the other 13 members of my family and now with the marriages and openness to LIFE we are getting close to 100 members! We are all changed and brought to a place of deeper sense of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT by this day 46 years ago. Understanding the loss is so hard and a mystery we will not know until we meet you face to face. Continue to work in and through our family as we grow ever larger in your LOVE within your domestic Church/FAMILY! May we continually be childlike with wonder and awe at all the ways you have touched our lives with your special fingerprint of possession - we are yours and may our prolific fruit show the world that we are yours alone. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"As far as the east is from the west,

so far has he put our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him."

Psalm 103 - the psalm from mass today and shared by the faithful all over the world today that is powerful - talk about an army of voices praising their LORD to the highest heavens!!! This is called a grand Hallel psalm!

One of my favorite pictures from "the farm" - Cheryl washing her hair at the pump. We entered the pioneer days and I do recall that Cheryl loved the Wilder books - Little House on the Prairie and all.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Today the big county fair week begins. I am using some of the pictures I am entering as I write this short sharing today. This one is my black and white other - I love the shadows of the kids - most especially little Rose prancing in the middle of the kids! She is now starting to truly walk on her own! John left the house this morning talking something funny about a quilt square that Susan made for the quilt from the kids that happened over a number of Christmases. "She got some crazy fabric with tennis shoes on it, and wrote I shoes you mom, I shoes you dad, I shoes you John, I shoes you...Jesus." I would have to locate the quilt in my closet and look at it truly for the first time, because I must admit that I didn't notice all this at the time it was given to me. I just thought that it was a silly outrageous fabric with no idea that a deeper thought went into it. Why John thought of it today as he was going out the door... maybe because he is often thinking about Susan/Hallel and the very deep impression she made on him. Just above him in age - they shared much together from her watching over him as children and even saving his life to sharing a couple years in the high school together. I can just see John in my mind - aware of the unconditional LOVE and acceptance that Hallel showed to all. John considers her the best of most anyone he knows, and he is always aware that she is lifting us up on prayer and very much so - John as he is asking the Lord - "What next for me, Lord?"

My color domesticated animal... I love it!

Little Sister Hallel is now a contemplative nun in France, and we miss her very much. Yet there is a great blessing and grace knowing that she is lifting us up in prayer! And as we learned through the Gospel of Mary and Martha with Jesus today on the feastday of St Martha - that is the "better part" and it will not be taken from her. Yes, work is needed and Hallel does spend her day in a lot of manual work - wood working quite a bit..."Martha was rebuked not for her work but for allowing her work to make her lose sight of love." How often do I do that? I do my work with a sense of resentment and anger - that robs me of the LOVE with which I am to serve those in my domestic Church/family!

Black and white people

Jesus, I shoes YOU! I love you and want to become more and more your disciple - striving to gain sainthood someday. To join your angels and saints at your feet giving you endless and glorious GLORY and Praise without end! I am that little one in the midst of your wondrous family - Your Church! I have your wonderful Mother, Mary Most Holy holding my hand and helping to walk on my wobbly feet. St Martha is there also helping me and showing me how to have Faith in YOU no matter what - her brother, Lazarus, was dead and she believed in you bringing him to newness of LIFE - resurrected from death! There are so many in my family that I pray for daily that they may come to LIFE and emerge from the darkness of the tomb called the culture of death-lies-Satan who is deceiving them! May we all lay our sins and burdens at your feet and aided by all that your Church has to offer us in Sacraments, Your Word, Angels, Saints, and sacramentals, and Mary the Mother of God! There is more than we could ever fathom there for us to hold our hands and bring us always down your narrow path carrying our Most Cherished Cross and coming into your LIGHT/LOVE/LIFE! Jesus, we Trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

John putting his many Tshirts on the line with Our Lady of the Clothesline looking over him!

Bless-bless, Barb

So wonderful to have John here - each day we pray and rejoice over his healing. Listening to Pat pray this morning and how he without fear or hesitation asks the Lord to heal those that are suffering with cancer and ALS... this is after he thanks God for the many healings we are aware of - two in our own family with John and grandson, Patrick! We know that the Lord answers those constant and recurring prayers that we ask of HIM. We also know that the Lord has a wonderful plan for John - how he loves to share what God has done for him, and how his half-hearted prayer for Faith was answered so powerfully and changed his life - making him the new John!

http://dnu.org/news/documents/JAN.2013MASTERISSUE.pdf If you haven't had a chance to read John's story - here it is! It is quite amazing! I know that John would say without hesitation today - "I shoes you, Jesus." And so the journey continues - taking some time off of seminary to find the work for him and write his book?!?

I didn't get a lot of smiles out of Rose yesterday, but the sweetest loving smile came from her when she patted and kissed the statue of Our Lady in my Mary Garden. It was so beautiful to watch her older sister, Mary, who is now 7 show the same kind of instant unreserved LOVE for Mary since she was 1 year old too! So beautiful and quite miraculous to see the recognition that this Lady is special to us. Yes, she has a statue at her house too, and is very familiar and a true sign of being special and to be held close to our hearts. Today in the Gospel we ask Jesus to show us how to pray the way that He does - "we want to experience the union and confidence that Jesus experiences when he prays." see www.magnificat.com We constantly request something of Our Lord and He listens and answers our call for help! When the Gospel was read in mass this morning we all were thinking about John and how we stormed heaven along with hunderds of prayer warriors... "And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; and knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks , the door will be opened..." Luke 11 Pat leaned over to me after this was read and asked me if I was thinking about John too? We pestered God like crazy when he had cancer, and he answered all those prayers!

So sweet!!!

How wonderful to have that confidence - "the disciples beg to live their lives with the certainty, passion and conviction of Jesus Christ." We are filled with the knowledge and LOVE of our spiritual family - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. Then we also have the Mother of God along with all the Saints and our guardian Angels watching over us. We can be certain of LOVE/LIFE/LIGHT that are filling us and directing us as we live in the Spirit and cry out with recognition - "Abba, father!"

Jesus, may we come to YOU and know that we can give without counting the cost as YOU have demonstrated to us in taking all of our sins/dead in our transgressions -"he removed it from our midst, nailing it to the Cross." Colossians 2: 12-14 We can leave those sins behind in the confessional and then walk with great freedom into our world - domestic Church/family- giving and serving without the weight of our selfish desires and wishes. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

Bless-bless, Barb

"Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live in newness of life." Romans 6:3-4

Sister Act 2 - Joyful Joyful We adore thee! Sunday JOY - I really felt a peacefulness and contentment being in mass next to my husband and son today! I thought - "we really should yearn to be here with YOU, O Lord. We should be so filled with JOY at the presentation of Your Word! And join in the worship as Heaven comes down to earth at the Banquet of Heaven and earth when we eat Your Body and drink Your Blood and find LIFE eternal! Thank you, Lord, along with Your Father and Mother, Mary Most Holy... I love you with my LIFE!"

Saturday, July 27, 2013

A most beloved and special toy (?) in our home. A wonderful wooden mass set complete with wonderful wooden hosts that the kids have played with and now the grandkids. Rose was especially sweet today making herself a place to sit on the shelf and putting them from the chalice to the ciborium.

It is a big farm bureau weekend for Ruth and Paul and family, but little Rose would not be getting her regular routine and that could be hard on her and mom and dad, who are in charge of 3 days of activities from overnights at SMSU and meals and all the meetings and activities. So Rose is finding a peaceful haven with grandma, grandpa and John. Pat tried to put her to bed in the crib, but she did not like that so they ended up sleeping in a big bed upstairs. "She was so good for grandpa, and slept peacefully all night long." Then Pat launched into a very heart rendering story that he had read somewhere. He shared about an adopted 4 year old, who had severe attachment disoreder. "His mother stayed by him around the clock. The first few weeks were hell for them, but eventually the little one discovered that he was loved and wanted by her constant being there by his side day and night!" I could see how this physical reminder of there being total LOVE and acceptance no matter what. It could be for that child, who was neglected and left alone in a crib in some foreign orphanage, the rebirth into a feeling foreign and hard at first, but eventually the abiltity to reach out and touch and know that even though he fought it at first - it is like the sunlight that warms and fills with LIGHT the plant and the darkness can fade from the memory and healing and growth can take place! So good to have that HOPE to cling to for these children.

Checking out Our Lady watching over her... today is the day - Saturday - devoted to Our Spiritual Mother, Mary Most Holy!

"To hope in Mary, the Mother of God, who can really obtain grace and eternal LIFE for people, is to do something very pleasing to the heart of God. For God desires to see Mary honored in this way, that same Mary whom in this world he loved and who loved and honored him more than all angels and all people together... She is the mother who gives birth to Holy Hope in our hearts." St Alphonsus Liguori (1787)

Rose is beginning to walk!

Jesus, with your glorious Mother at your side, we are filled with such HOPE as we turn to YOU through her intercession and feel the graces flow out upon us through your Holy Spirit within our hearts, minds, souls this day and forward. May we carry you always in our hearts as we serve without counting the cost - most especially those within our domestic Church/family. For it is within that family with those that we are the closest to that we struggle with the patience we need to LOVE them without thought and desire to self. Our Lady shows us the beauty of being humble and giving of our all, so that the Lord may be born to our world and LIGHT may chase away the darkness of sin and death. Jesus, we trust in YOU. Amen and Halleluia

Friday, July 26, 2013

Bibs and a dog on the round bale mountain is pretty cool for Rose Ida on a day with grandma - not too old for a good old adventure around the yard - on the lookout for farm photos!

I mean a mountain of bales!!! Rose is feeling pretty special upon her throne in the sky!

Talk about a throne!!!! Notice the shoes - she is walking for the most part, and grandma thought that shoes would be helpful.

Now on the ground in the garden - using plastic tarp and tires to keep the weeds away.

Little girl big corn and always on the lookout for those dogs.

Giving our Blessed Mother a hug and kiss! Much like her sister Mary before her! She will love Our Lady too!

She knows that she is a special lady, who will be with her always on her journey of LIFE/LOVE/LIGHT!

A special smile by the bins...

Dipping her feet in the water tank is a real farmgirl experience that not many little girls can say that they have had. You are one lucky farm girl little Rose Ida, and this is one happy farm grandma. Very blessed with Faith, Family and Farm! Jesus, we trust in YOU. Bless-bless, Barb

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This was taken on Easter Sunday in Colman, South Dakota about 12 years ago!

My dad had done the unthinkable - said yes to being a Deacon in Colman, South Dakota just 60 minutes from our door to their door of the rectory... they had promised to help out as parish administrator of a small town chuch and to help out in the other cluster churches. It was my parents first contact with living the farm life other than second hand through a visit here and there to our farm. Now they were immersed in farm life and loved it! I loved the fact that for 3 years I could jump in the car and go and hang out with them for an afternoon here and there! It was amazing! Soon their 3 years were at an end and we all gathered for a huge family celebration of Easter... we filled the social hall with our huge family... I am the oldest of 11 with over 30 grandkids! The wind of the Holy Spirit was howling as our family gathered in front of the church doors for a family photo... it made us smile to have the wind roaring at us with the fury that only the prairie can muster!

How I love the pictures of the kids in Big Shoes! Adorable!

What is it about the kids walking around the house in mom or dad's shoes? I think that it is a form of flattery... they like to see mom of dad in those shoes so it makes them feel like they are looking like their beloved parent of just acting big like them! I remember my 3rd daughter, Maria, was so in love with her daddy... she would crawl around the bedroom and drape his socks around her neck that she had picked up off the floor just as a token of her love for him. I have a group of pictures in the bathroom that are just of that theme... Wearing mom and dad's shoes. I think that it is about as cute as can be... and also a wonderful tribiute to a child's love and appreciation for their parnets. I have now seen my 3 grandchildren that live closeby and spent much time with us also put on mostly grandpa's shoes which are usually over by the door and walk around in them... I think that a lot of that reflects that love and appreciaion that they have for him and his loving sharing ways with them. Now a generation later I have watched now grandpa LOVE each one of those kids so specially by showering them with the time by taking them along outside or allowing them to sit in his lap and share his meal when he comes in late for a meal... The same scene that I saw with our 5 kids and the resulting love and appreciation and respect! Who knew wearing his shoes was a sign of love and devotion?!?

The absolutely amazing letter that Susan/Little Sister Hallel sent to Nancy about marriage...

Nancy was engaged to Bill Bandzuch on April 10, 2010... We are all so happy for her as she has waited long for her Catholic man to come into her life. She had stood by her values and as a result it was especially sweet and special when she joyfully accepted Bill's proposal! We all gathered in Maria and Joe's back yard to help them celebrate that afternoon minus her sister in KC... Little Sister Hallel. We called her and she spoke to each one of us and even her neice and nephews ! A month later Nancy found this letter from her sister in the mailbox. It was mother's day and she called me to read it to me over the phone. I was blown away and at first thought how crazy it was that a young girl,who had answered the call to remain chaste and be a little sister had so much insight into marriage! But when I realized that she is now the "bride of Christ" it now makes all the sense in the world! I would like to once again share this powerful and wise letter here... Nancy, Look I am writing you a letter... aren't you impressed? Well, you better be because both you and I know how often this happens. I am writing to tell you now extremely excited I am about your engagement to Bill. I have to admit, when I got the news I wasn't really shocked but that night as it sunk in during adoration and the next day during mass I was so happy. My heart overflowed with joy for you. How beautiful to know that you have found your... most cherished cross. While I have never had the experience of being married, from what I hear is that he will truly be your cross. But not your cross as human eyes look at it, as a thing to run away from, as a thing of torture but rather as that which is truly the tree of life. It is only when clinging to the cross that one can truly live, it is the source of all life and of all love. Your marriage to Bill will be this, not something to run away from when it gets hard and when it hurts, but something to hold tight to, especially when it hurts because it is in this that you will find life and love. Know that it is through your marriage that Jesus wants to show you his great love for you and also that the best example that you can give to the world of Christ's love is a marriage lived in truth. So, in other words, know that I am so happy for you and that I love you a whole lot. Know that you are in my prayers during this crazy time of wedding planning; that you may not go crazy but rather learn to love each other better and that you may both have great joy and great peace. Remember to pray for me too! God Bless, Your little Sister Hallel

My sister Mary and I in the barn in our barn clothes when she was here to help us... 1982

I was not pregnant in this picture so it must have been after Nancy was born... Mary was soon to leave us sadly... she had fallen in love with the farm and did a few years later meet her dairy farmer - they married and had a daughter before she died of lymphoma at the age of 28... Some things in life are a mystery.. someday we will understand.

Our daughters, Nancy and Little Sister Hallel/Susan, with John in Lourdes, France.

Little Sister Hallel had just taken the habit of the community of the Lamb and changed her name a few days before this taken in August of 2009... John, Nancy and I had gone to help her celebrate this huge step in her life! John had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and had just completed his second chemo and was better, so within 24 hours we decided that we would fly to France! We visited Lourdes and all bathed in the healing waters which miraculously flow from the spring where St Bernedett was told to dig in the mud! John said that the day was "very good" , and for him that is saying a lot! This past winter Pat and I were in a study group of a book written by Matthew Kelly called Rediscovering Catholicism... this paragraph on p48 is amazing and so wonderfully defends the choice of religious life but also the joys and beauty of this life! I quote: "In every age, there is a small number of men and women who are prepared to turn their backs on popular culture and personal gain to embrace heroically the life Jesus outlines in the Gospels. These people fashion Catholicism into a lifestyle, they listen attentively to the voice of God in their lives, and they passionately pursue their personal adventure of salvation. As a result, they capture the attention and fascinate the imaginations of everyone who crosses their path. Paradoxically, the modern world pities these people because it believes they are missing out on something. Never feel sorry for them. These men and women are the happiest people who ever lived. They are the saints. If the Church is to thrive in this modern era, it depends on men and women like these."

Sitting on the front porch of our home in Minneapolis - me and my friend Marge a few years after..

This was taken a few years after we met while attending welcome week at the U of M in 1970! I did not know at the time that Margie would be responsible for the rest of my life - my meeting and a year later marrying her brother, Pat... I have written many cards to her over the years telling her in every way possible that because of her I have my life. We will celebrate our 32 anniversary this summer, so she has been in my life more than not! Thank you Margie Rose/Raterra Rashana for being such a loyal and true friend... there is no doubt that you were put in my life by our loving forgiving Lord ! Your life growing up on the farm in Southwest Mn is now my life and our children's lives are blessed as a result! How I rejoice at the Lord's fingerprint on my life! Jesus I trust in You! Please bless my dear friend now and forever. Amen and Halleluia!

My sister Mary at the baptism of my daughter, Nancy Anna.. She is Godmother and my dad is baptizing

In 1982 my sister, Mary, came to help me while I was on bedrest with my second daughter... I had high blood pressure and was on bedrest, so Mary came to help me around the house with my 2 year old Ruth and help Pat milk the cows. She was a city girl like me, but fell in love with the farm and we loved having her with us! After Nancy was born on April 2 we asked Mary to be her Godmother. We realized after I was on my feet that she needed to move on, so tearfully she went up to live with my folks in TF. She eventually became a doctor's office nurse and on a blind date met her farmer, Gerry.... he was a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. They married and had a daughrer, Audrey.... When Audrey was 20 mo Mary died of Lymphoma... Gerry is now married to Cathy, who had 5 kids and her husband drowned in the river up there...

Snapping beans with the 5 klids as we are in Taylors Falls visiting my parents in the summer of 92

I was in the thick of bean harvest in my garden when I took my kids to spend some days in the summer with my parents... probably late July of 92... WE picked them and brought them along to snap at my parent's house. We have such wonderful memories of our days spent in Taylors Falls at their remodeled cape cod house up on Angel Hill. Now after 14 years of liiving on Lake Michigan in Manistique in the upper penninsula... my parents have bought a home on the St Croix River in St Croix Falls, Wi which is right across the river from Taylors... I am thrilled that now my parents will be close enough for me to go and see them for the day or for a few days much more often! I loved to go to the big lake, but so missed my parents being closer so that I could spend time with them! Thnak you Lord for this move and may they continue to be a wonderful presence in my life for years to come!

The wedding shower that the friends from church and daily mass put on for Pat and I in my mom's

My friend Marilyn just had given Pat and I wonderful rosaries for a gift... we were both very touched and how much better does it get? To have a Catholic Shower! It was wonderful and the rosary has been huge in our marriage too!

Pat's mom took this picture after milking the cows one morning shortly after we were married.

Typical old camera quality - this was after we were done milking the cows with the baby calves... with dairy calves...they are taken off of their mothers at birth so that you and I can drink the milk...they start out on a big bottle and then graduate to pails of milk. That was one of my jobs out there as well as giving each cow some protein to eat while Pat was moving down the line milking them. I also would help undo the headgate when he was done so that they could go out of the barn. Pat of the time I would sit on an upside down pail and watch him milk the cows and sometimes we would visit. I married a farmer and I found these times special to the point that when Ruth was born - I would bring her over and put her strapped in her infant seat close to the heater in the milk house... she was born Jan 4, 1980... Soon my in laws told me to bring her in the house and put her in the bed with them while I helped Pat... Ruthie got to know her grandparents really well and has early memories of waking up and seeing a certain light fixture over their bed and the warm feelings that go with snuggling with her loving grandparents morning after morning! They even took a movie of her first steps dressed in different outfits day after day that we have never seen! Got to do that someday! The early years were special for many!

Pat comes to visit me in the Cities as things slow down a bit on the farm - cross country skiing...

This picture was taken by my younger sister, Mary... she is now gone for 24 years due to cancer at the age of 28! Pat had come to visit me and we decided for him to wear one of my brother's boots and try cross country skiing for the first time! The boots were too small, but when Pat Verly is motivated to do something... nothing will prevent him! Boy, have I learned that to be a huge part of him after almost 32 years of marriage! He also likes to be rough and tumble and caused this fall to get some bodily contact and to tussle with me! Thank goodness for soft snow to fall in! The dating years were long distance and due to the demands of the farm - we dated maybe once every few weeks when he could certainly not every night or even once a week... at the busy times of the year it was even less, but Pat was very good about calling me on the phone and having long conversations about our lives... he gave me many lessons on the farm life in the middle of the nigh... when he would wake me up after he got in from work! I knew that when that phone would ring that it was my farmer! The thing about farming... similar to the Catholic Church... you never learn it all...there is always more to learn and my Patrick is very intelligent and very interested in it all!

I like to call this picture taken at our first Christmas....married 4 months....THE LOOK OF LOVE!

My mother probably took this picture of Pat and I at our first Christmas at their home in Mpls in 1978... I love it! To capture Pat looking at me with so much love and attention gives me warm feelings and delight! I need to remember this sometimes when I am feeling down about myself and if Pat is disappointed in me that hurts about as badly as anything can... Deep down we love each other no matter the obstacles!

Her name Hallel means Joy- Halleluia.... she reflects that inner joy when she is singing...

Little Sister Hallel has shared that when others say her name they are praising God with the highest of praise and Joy! There are many Hallel psalms including the last 5 psalms - 145 thru 150 and the grand Hallels are in the center of the psalms. the word means tall in French also and Hallel being much taller than most...this is humorous to the community! As a mother I am happy for her choice to be with the community of the lamb to see her happiness and joy... her face lights up in a way that cannot be anything but genuine happiness!

Finally I leave the nest!

I loved being with my family so much that finally after I had become an nurse - 4 years of college and lived at home... got a job at Hennipen County Medical center on the Neurolgoy station... and just went along day to day at home with my family including 10 yonger siblings... One day my mom asked me if I had ever thought of getting my own place... Oh, I tought... that is maybe something I should think about. I then rented a third floor of a house just a block from my parents' home. It was great! Close to my beloved family...yet my own place!

John with Bertha at the State Fair a few years back

Bertha took reserve champion with her calf in the cow-calf division a couple times for John at the State Fair... You can always count on Bertha! 4 H was a wonderful thing for our kids... It was the one time that they learned about livestock on a day to day basis with their dad. They also learned a lot of life skills including how to present themselves in front of people... this has developed into John's future wishes for a life profession... Ag and presenting himself to large groups of people however that all comes together... Lord hear our prayer for a long and bright future for John with you always number one in his life!

Quiet days of growth and reflection on "the farm"

Filled with love and excitement and joy as I studied Catholicism in the quiet of Wisconsin farm country... I expressed it with photoraphy, sketching, caligraphy, reading and marveling at the depth of the Church and all that I will be learning for the rest of my life! I will never come to the end of the learning and growing with OUr Lord and His Mother and all the saints at my side!

Two 5 month losses - both boys born after John - buried at the cemetary

William and John would have been very close in age - about 14 months... I went in for my 5 month check up and the heartbeat couldn't be found... an ultrasound revealed that he had died... I had some scary miscahrriages, so the thought of carrying him til I "lost" him was terrifying to me. I went through a 5 month abortion procedure to deliver my son. I had a postagladin suppository inserted and went through a horrible experience with pain and chills to deliver our tiny son,William. I held him wrapped in a blanket, and Pat and I shed tears at what could have been. It was winter and the ground was frozen...we took him home in a small box and put it in the freezer.. So hard to open it and face him and have the memories and tears come flooding me again. About two years later the same thing unexplainably happened... We lost Robert the same time and way... "It looks like his cord is fatally kinked." It was earth shattering to face another loss of a son and brother for John here on this earth... WE know that we have these children to be united with someday! These and the other 4 lost along the jounrney of our "nest". I feel that they were both the best and the worst years of my life! How I prayed that the Lord would give me one more child after John so that the world would see visible truth that "no, we were't just trying for our boy and that is why we ended up with 5 children! We were open to family!" Yet I am flooded with peace and even joy to know that all our children are with us whether here on earth and in heaven! I have named each of my children in heaven... Christopher lost between Ruth and Nancy, Thomas lost when my sister Mary died of Lymphoma in 1986, Joseph lost before John, William and Robert lost at 5 mo after John, and Mary lost at 3 1/2 mo in 1994. The prayer for them of their mother is a powerful experience for me as I remember them daily and many times feel that they are up there keeping me on the straight and narrow as much as possible. All I know is that I must need a lot of help to have that small spiritual army in heaven....

Journey towards trust

Heading to Sioux Falls two days after Father's day - John had an abnomal MRI - what can it be? Daisys from the ditch, Mary from the give away box at church represents her comforting us at this scarey time... the family pic taken the weekend before in St Paul... pasted in Susan as she was in France - yet we were united in spirit and soon Susan came to be with the family as we discovered that he had a "tumor" in his brain! Jesus we trust inYou!

John and his 4 sisters.... When asked the family he wants someday... "I want 4 girls and a boy!'

John surrounded by his loving older sisters... all 4 of them. "Mom, why don't I have any brothers?" Yet, he admits that he was very spoiled by his sisters! He considers them a blessing and now has brothers... two brother in laws... Paul and Joe... and fraternity brothers at Farmhouse Fraternity at the U of M! Now brothers and sisters are everywhere... and such an amazing support for John on the journey called cancer/healing.

"Eating their chin" out of love - Child for it's mother

Top Ruth being kissed by her daughter, Mary.... Jesus loved his Mother sooooooooo much!

Mary's perspective....

How can we ever suffer as much with our Lord as His Mother did?.... the "sword the pierced her heart"... so that she may support us and hold us close in those times of suffering in our lives... As a mother holds her young and gives it the unconditional nurturing love only a mother gives with all her heart and soul, with no thought to herself....

The five in 1991

Maria's first communion party... the 5 in a row... Ruth, Nancy,Maria, Susan and John

Thankful and prayerful for healing - John is cancer free!

Tuesday at Benediction - John basks in the forgiving loving presence of His Lord... the healing loving Great Physician! Jesus we trust in You! Feb 2010

All my children together in the more simple days!

A watercolor I did after I got an idea from a greeting card showing a mother on the hill with 3 girls and a cow.. made it my own by adding another daughter, a son and my own building site behind us.... someone asked later where Pat, my husband was so I added him on a horse going off to work the farm... Also added my 6 losses in the "cemetary"... it was nice to include all my children in this way.

A therapy painting after 5 losses

A watercolor I did with the 5 "boys" that I lost from 3mo pregnant to 5mo.. I wanted them all to be in some way touching me and that we would be together on a bench in heaven... later added a photo to represent the 6th loss

The five that we are blessed to have with us here... Six losses with us in Heaven - Family of 11!

Ruth, Nancy, Maria, Susan - Little Sister Hallel, and John

Our 9 precious grandchildren, with another one on the way

I got a call today from daughter number 3 that I needed to update my grandchildren picture - the number had doubled since... So here are the 9 together with Hallel when she visited in April. Ruth has 4 with another on the way - Simon age 8, Mary age 7, David soon to be 5, and Rose 13 months. Nancy has Augustine 2, and Bernadette 7 months. Maria has 3 children... Therese 5, David 3, and Patrick 8 months! So this is almost a complete picture except for Maria's two losses due to miscarriage, who are in heaven. We love all life we have been blessed with here and in heaven, and pray for each daily. Guardian Angels watch out for them. Jesus, we Trust in YOU.

New life on the farm

Calving begins in the Feb cold weather... first calf for this mother cow - we call it a first calf heifer

About Me

I am first and foremost a wife and mother. My husband,Pat, is a farmer in SW Minnesota... he is large on the crops and he also has over 100 cows that he calves out. I am a nurse, but was able to take 14 years off to raise my 5 children. I then returned to a hospice nurse position after my son, John, started school. I only work part time and keep busy with my family, a big garden with canning, yard work, involvement with my faith at the Catholic Church, and now grandkids living close by. I had the joy of watching my 3 grandkids while our oldest daughter worked half time as a nurse at the hospital in town. This past summer our lives were rocked when we discovered that our youngest, John, age 20 had a very rare form of brain cancer. Since Father's day... I have become his nurse and between his father and I... we have been with him for many different treatments in Rochester... the cancer is now in remission and we are hopeful to pick up life from here with all of us healthy and looking forward to many years ahead!

An interesting fact about the cows and calves in the pastures... Cow trails...

These two pairs are demostrating how they all walk in the same path or trail...If you look on the other side of the hill above them you can see a cow trail that they use on that side of the pasture. When you go out and walk in the pasture... you will see these paths that are very much used to the point that they are deep and there is no grass growing in them just like a well used people trail gets to be. On a very steep hill there can be teraces of many cow trails along the side where they will go single file like these two moms with their calves following along behind... I did see some of the calves get tired of the slow pace and run ahead, but it is obvious, when you see the trails,that the cows use them for the most part to get from one place in the pasture to another. How my husband loves to see them out there in the lush grass getting fat off of the grass that grows where no crops can due to the up and down land or the creeks that run through them and are also important for the cows and calves to get the water they need just like every living creature! My husband's idea of a romantic evening is to go out on the 4 wheeler or the pickup to look at the cows and calves in the 6 different pastures that we have! The kids have fond memories of going out to look at the cows in the back of the pickup - great vacation/family time!

It doesn't get much cuter than this - Ruth Ida Rose with a forever remembered baby kitty...

Ruth used this on her graduation card - so Ruthie as she was forvere an animal lover. She has a calmness about her that just makes animals comfortable. A few days ago she was out helping her dad and brother and I watched her kids... they both agreed that Ruth is good help out there with the cows and on top of it.. .. she enjoys her time out there... I think that I will watch the kids and Ruth can be out there from now on!

The Net team stops by as they come to the end of their year of serving Catholic Youth!

Our nephew, Sam Cross, has taken a year out of his life to work on the National Evagelical Team - they are Catholic Youth in their late teens and early 20s that travel the country in a van giving retreats to youth everywhere! Their homebase in St Paul, but they have traveled from coast to coast this last year and they themselves are from many places in the country and even a girl from Netherlands! In the picture Sam is standing all the way to the left by John. He lived with us a summer and learned about the farm and was in 4 H and FFA here. He showed cattle and pigs at the county fair and then went up to the State Fair with his projects and then worked in the Miracle of Birth barn for a couple of summers. Sam is a special nephew! He also has done many TEC retreats after he said yes to our request that he make a retreat and absolutely fell in love with TEC! Now he has taken it a step further in serving on this traveling retreat team with his guitar and wonderful joyful spirit... touching many youth along with the 10 youth that are on the team with him. Just before this picture was taken... Sam had given them rides back and forth on the loader to "see" the cows and farm scenes... Sitting to the far right of the tractor in the loader bucket is a girl from Minnesota named, Sarah. We struck up a conversation in the kitchen while I was cleaning up after the meal that we had shared... She started the conversation by asking me if I had always lived in Mn... I thought that I would wow her by starting off by saying; "No, actually I was born in Boston, Mass!" Her reply; "So was I!" That was a start of the most amazing give and take between us! We share so much in common and mostly I thought that she was probably me about 40 years ago when I was a new Catholic and so in love with EVERYTHING about the Catholic Church! She shared that her family of 4 girls and one boy and both of her parents converted from Episcopal to Catholic and why would you belong anywhere but the True Church!? ! Wow! I was blown away to meet someone on this long journey I have been on that is at the same place I was at that age! All of these youth are so amazing and I hope and pray and am really confident that they have touched deeply and positively many youth on their trek across the country! I asked the girl from Netherlands about the Catholic Church in her country... I have heard that it barely exists any more and she agreed that only the old attend church and otherwise those that are Catholic like her go with their families at EAster and Christmas... her friend told her that she would do the NET as she had done ahead of her and now a young person is returning to this country without God... filled with love and knowledge of her Church - Jesus and His Mother - It was a wonderful hour and a half and gave me so much hope for the Church and how the grassroots are strong and spreading our faith far and wide! Thank you Lord for all the work that is taking place in your church and please continue to use me and all those that are listening to and answering your call! Amen and Halleluia!

John the actor and his love of the stage and being in front of people - It was a fun ride!

This was John doing the "She thinks my tractor is attractive" skit for Arts In at the county fair in 4H a few years back... It is just so fun to see him in his element and it always amazed us to see how relaxed he was up there. Not like any of the rest of us! Now he hopes to take that love of the stage and put it along with his Ag background into some type of a job for his future... It will certainly be interesting to follow along and now with a year overcoming brain cancer and all that has meant for him... it has certainly taken him to a deeper and more compassionate place... We all await what the future will bring... Thank you John for all the FUN we have had following you as you share the joy with us on stage! It has been a fun ride! Jesus we know that you are in control of John's life and have a wonderful plan just for him! Jesus we trust in You!

Oh happy day! Another fun time with John...

First with a talent show at the Catholic School doing...Oh happy day from Sister Act and then again for 4 H share the fun... Finally with chior robes that we found at the Thrift store and with his sister, Maria, and cousins, Sam and Phil Cross... we enjoy the fun at Christmas camp. John even put it on for Easter when we went to visit Maria in the monastery. We shared a meal through the enclosure and John did the entertainment for all of us by putting on a chior robe and lip sincing.... Oh happy day for all of us... it was great entertainment that was good over and over!

He who follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. Jn 8:12

I came across this inside of a long letter that our daughter, Maria, had written daily to share her experience with us as she went from a Poor Clare Monastery in Sauk Rapids, Mn to one close to Washington DC... It was so hard to think that she could go so far away to a cloistered monastery... where we would have to go and see her there and never get a hug as she would be in the "enclosure". It was to the point of her entering and the mother superior asked her to write a letter saying that this was the right thing for her to do... she couldn't write it and was back home! We were shocked and amazed! After saying goodbye to her life... she returned and embraced it! I will never forget her out helping put the cows and calves out to pasture and saying how wonderful it was to be out there... Now that was a miracle! So often on this journey we have been weak, depressed, scared and lost... The image of Jesus picking up the weak lost lamb is so often coming to me... This is wonderful to be able to share here with all of you that are upholding us in prayer!

A miracle! We make it to France in the midst of John's brain cancer and after a brain biopsy!

One of my favorite pictures from France...Susan helping John walk through the rain down a path at Saint-Pierre. They have always had a close relationship... Susan was 3 1/2 years older than John... I lost two pregnancies between them and it was never kept from the kids... we all grieved together at the losses. Susan was thrilled with her little brother from day one. She was constantly caring for him and watching out for him. We have a family story that Susan saved John's life... I will save that for a later date to share. John discovered in France that he could walk at a normal speed leaving his walker behind and having someone under his weak side. I think that he enjoyed the closeness also. We were in France and it was totally due to prayer!

The way of the cross - Cancer strikes our 20 year old son!

John at Lourdes with his two sisters... LS Hallel in the habit she had just received as a new member of the community of the Lamb and Nancy. From the back as they support their brother it looks like he is on the cross. After the news about two months earlier that he had brain cancer and then the ataxia on his left side as a result of the biopsy they had to do to diagnose it... It certainly a cross like no other we could have ever imagined! Beyond our wildest nightmares! Just the day before we left for France he was able to get to the bathroom by himself for the first time! We could go to France to see his sister join the community, and go to Lourdes and bath in the miraculous and healing waters under the watchful care of our most Blessed Virgin Mother of God... Mary Most Holy! John truly turned from a heavy heart to one of hope at this point in the journey.

Little Sister Hallel here for Thanksgiving and spent a week with John.

A group shot over at Ruth and Paul's place... Little Sister Hallel - Susan here for a week. Took John back and forth to radiation, and we then had a family Thanksgiving up in the Cities with her other two sisters that live in ST Paul... Getting ready to head back to Kansas City. That is where she is living for the next year in the only community here in the US... Community of the Lamb... pictured are from left to right... Paul Lanoue, Ruth Lanoue, Little Sister Hallel, her dad Pat and John Verly. In front Mary with her kitty Purrrrrrs.

The two Davids...

Great Grandma with both Davids after Sunday mass in her sunroom- Feb 21,2010

Our prayers rise like incense before you, Our Lord and Our God!

Benediction on Tuesday night.... Giving our Lord honor and praise and worship! We are in awe of you coming to us in the humble form of bread... as it is transformed into your Body... food that gives us the strength to follow your example and embrace the cross in our lives! Jesus we trust in You! We honor and adore you now and forever! Amen