Here’s a scenario that might sound familiar to you. You meet a guy and woah! He’s everything you’ve been looking for and you are immediately drawn to him. And he seems to be interested in you as well!

Now you’re getting really excited about the possibilities. But just as quickly as you rise, everything comes crashing down. Maybe he withdraws, maybe he ghosts you, or maybe he comes out and tells you that he doesn’t think a relationship would work out between you.

You’re angry … mostly at yourself. Why did I show any interest? I should have played hard to get, that’s how you have to do it! I should have ignored his texts, I shouldn’t have been so available, I should never have shown any interest.

Stop beating yourself up, none of that works and none of that would have helped you.

Read on for the truth about why men seem to lose interest as soon as you show yours.

“I don’t love you anymore.” No matter how this arrangement of words is said, it is absolutely soul-crushing.

Maybe he tries to make you feel better by saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is definitely up there on the list of most commonly used breakup lines. And as polite as this breakup line may be, the truth behind it is a little harder to swallow: “I just don’t myself with someone like you.” Ouch.

When a guy breaks up with you in this way, it can be both painful and confusing. He seemed like he was really into you, like he really loved you…what happened?

Why did he lose interest when things seemed to be going so well? This question is all too common.

This is how it all usually goes down. You meet a guy and feel the proverbial spark. Numbers are exchanged, flirty texting ensues, and eventually, you go on a date … and it’s amazing!

The chemistry is strong, you connect, you have fun. You go out again and it’s another ace in the hole. Now you start to get really excited…could this be it? Maybe you hang out a few more times, but then something changes. Either you notice that he starts to pull away and seems less engaged (commonly known as “the fade away”), or he just vanishes (a phenomenon known as “ghosting”). You feel completely blindsided and shell-shocked.