Questions for the Transgender Community
Happy belated holidays! A moment of your time as we head into the new year, if you please…

1. Why has it been your modus operandi to – oftentimes viciously – attack those individuals who dissent with your ideology for the better part of a decade now, presumably with the aims of silencing and subjugating your detractors? Why does your community have a habit of wildly overreacting to the mildest of offences, like those of Suzanne Moore? Are the rest of us to believe your cause is benefited by acting childish and obnoxious, or making death threats?

2. Why has your community advocated an ‘out and proud’ mentality and derided ‘stealth’, when you know people are pushed to the brink of suicide and/or killed over their identities? Why do the community’s contributions to these deaths go ignored, between your impractical policies and frequently unwarranted hostility toward the public?

3. Why is the Day of Remembrance used to fuel your political advocacy to this day? Why do you continue to openly name the deceased in light of the the aforementioned, when it is not required for memorialising the dead?

4. Why do you deem it necessary to make a distinction between yourselves and ‘cisgender’ people – as well as congregate almost exclusively with your own kind – if your alleged goal is equality with the ‘cisgender’ crowd? Why must you always prefix the gender or sex you claim to believe so strongly in with ‘trans’, by the same token? You do realise this advocacy of segregation into ‘cisgender’ and ‘transgender’ runs counter to your supposed goals, right?

5. Why do you maintain this passive-aggressive relationship with the gay community, despite that many gay individuals do not care for you or your tendency to scapegoat them? Why do some of you involve yourselves in the culture of ‘cisgender’ homosexuals in your community, when these activities contradict their ‘gender identities’?

It is also worth mentioning this comment from an individual named Eva here, regarding the ‘cotton ceiling’ debate: “DeVeaux and other trans women activists actually believe that sexual attraction based on biological sex rather than ‘gender identity’ is ‘transphobic’ and ‘cissexist’. In other words, homosexuality itself is ‘transphobic’. One wonders what people who believe this are doing under the LGB umbrella in the first place.”

6. Why do you persist in conflating gender with sex? Two straightforward classifications have become an utterly incomprehensible mess, largely thanks to your community. Gender is what is perceived, whereas a change of sex is what is realised by transition. That is why it is called transition, because an individual is transitioning from one sex to the other. If transition were merely from one gender to the other, then a gay man would be ‘transitioning’ every time he convincingly dresses in drag. Has nobody ever pointed out that this makes absolutely no sense, to you?

No story illustrates this complete disconnect from reality better than Trans Panic Violence and Defamation on SyFy Channel’s Lost Girl Goes Unanswered, over at the TransAdvocate.

In this episode of Lost Girl, a man who looks like a woman is raping and impregnating women. You feel that this fellow has something in common with you, whereas I (likely along with plenty of other women) feel this case is exactly what it is – a man who is only outwardly a woman, because a woman would never do something like this. Looking like a woman does not make him a woman, because his actions clearly qualify that he is not that.

This is why basing your entire oversimplified belief system around that which is superficial alone is ridiculously illogical and ultimately indefensible… it is why you will continue to be associated with cross-dressers as little different, because you fail to make any substantive distinction between yourselves and the same.

In Aviation, deciding to land, versus doing a touch-and-go, is a Full stop.

For Lisalee, deciding to help, not hurt, share, not hide, love, not hate, respect all, is a Full stop.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you must take a stand, even if it’s just for yourself. To choose the higher path, the more difficult road taken, the moral high ground. To say no to oppression, bullying, evil. To do what is right, even if it means the ultimate sacrifice.

I know you’re out there, nameless, faceless evil. I’ve felt you lurking, scheming, acting. Your machinations have made me stronger, and you the more transparent.

I want to thank you for your rebuttal to my post from Monday. I found it amusing and instructional. Amusing that it took you almost 2000 words to disapprove, in part, my opinions and my actions. It would have taken me about 150. But you were trying to make a point. You did kinda lose me there, though…

And instructional; Outing people, especially when they’ve already been outed is useless and tacky. I didn’t follow the #1 credo of Trans*women worldwide: Thou shall not out thy fellow Trans*. So when you deleted my comments in their entirety, I probably deserved it. But I found this interesting:

…Trying to frame her as some sort of ‘age purist’, or a ‘teen troll’, or an ‘old hag’, is what it is. She and i are about the same age. Make your own conclusions. i don’t have any desire to engage with Liz/Cloudy or anyone who promotes HSTS in any form… -Anonymous T Girl

Throwing someone a bone, Susan?

To the meat and potatoes, shall we?

Susan, I’m offering you…

A Challenge!

I challenge you to appear on the steps of the Capitol in Washington, DC on March 14th, 2011 for Transgender Lobby Day. I’ll be there, along with friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and others. You write some mean shit on your blog and have had some straight-shooting comments elsewhere, but do you have the guts to truly put yourself on the line? Are you willing to do something greater than yourself and the entertainment value of your blog?

I am.

I plan on lobbying the most conservative representatives in my home state of Georgia, including my home district, the 11th, represented by Phil Gingrey (R-Ga.). I’m sure you could do the same for your district, and other conservative districts in Texas.

Maybe this isn’t worth your time and effort.

Or maybe you just don’t want to be seen with other Trans*.

You could just as easily call your reps or even visit with them anytime. But this is different.

This shows solidarity.

Not capitulation.

So what do you think, Susan? Up to the challenge?

Or is it too much to ask.

I’ll be there waiting.

Lisalee Starkman

Edit (1)

Looks like a certain Susan (not allowed to use her maiden name), has rejected my challenge to meet on the Capitol steps on Mar 14. So I guess I’ll have to meet with her representative myself, who happens to be Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX), 14th district, a hero of mine. An OB/GYN, we’ll have lots to chat about regarding medical legitimacy for Transsexuals. Sure you don’t want to join me, Susan?

Edit (2)

Upon careful consideration, I’ve removed Susan’s last name from the title of this post.

I used to listen to CSN (and Y) when I was in high school, among other 60’s bands that spoke to me. And though I was a bit young for Viet Nam and Woodstock, I felt the energy and importance after the fact, all the same. So when I saw this blog finally implode, I felt a kind of sadness. And vindication too, that my, and especially my friend’s words had come true. I had been accused of high school shenanigans, misplaced loyalties, and STALKING! What the fuck?? All I have to say is the internet is a cruel, cruel place to play. Always make sure your ducks are in a row before you hit the sandbox, girls. And this person’s words, spoken over a year ago, ring ever true today:

Trust No One.

No One.

(As an aside, I think I’m the only person to be recently banned from Susan’s blog. Whatever.)

On the other hand, I expect (but am not certain) to see both this and this disappear, vile sockpuppet vomitus, to be replaced by something more discreet, virulent, and cunning.

The only difference is that we’ll be ready…

On a lighter note, I happened to chance upon author, hypnotist/therapist, and bon vivant, Tracie O’keefe and her eternal sidekick writer, Katrina Fox, here and here.

Gee, where have I seen (and heard of) these two before…?

Hugs, you two!

I dedicate this chunk of a future poem to Leigh and Susan, the real losers here, having had their innocence snatched from them, again (ok, I’m a drama queen, so sue me!).

So it’s the 17th of January and I’m sitting in my truck heading towards Memphis to make a delivery of auto parts to the Ford distribution center when it hits me: Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday. How apropos.

Here’s the truck stop that I slept at the night before, IM’ing with my friend, about how she had overshadowed her message, or was it the other way around? And I shared a video of Living Color’s Cult of Personality that I found on YouTube. How apropos.

I’m sitting in my truck heading to the city where a man was murdered for speaking his mind, sharing his convictions, and speaking the truth. How apropos.

So I’m sitting on a side street, waiting to enter a facility that’s closed because it’s Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday. How apropos.

I’m now across the street from the facility that was closed for the day, trying to get rid of a trailer that’s become a millstone, like some thoughts and opinions and biases. I thought about Cult of Personality again. How apropos.

I’m still across the street, trailer still attached, millstone weighing heavily, when I spy a link on Facebook from a friend’s profile professing the greatness of a certain blog. The same blog that attacked and terrorized and raped my other friend. How apropos.

Across the street, trailer, millstone, Facebook, cell phone, yelling at a friend to get her attention. It’s Dr. King’s birthday, goddamnit! How apropos.

Cell phone and headset, in the JB Hunt yard across the street from the Ford distribution center, millstone, Facebook, and oh, did I mention the ongoing chatter of IM? Stereo blaring my iPod music, as loud as I can stand it to drown out the noise in my head from yelling at my friend. How apropos.

Paperwork and cell phone, headset and Facebook and IM. Saying bye bye to the millstone, the trailer, at least. Finally, finally, finally, I get to say goodbye to the yard and street I yelled at my friend on, because of her choice of blogs, the one that raped my other friend repeatedly. How apropos.

So I’m in my truck, driving about a mile to US-78, where there are some truck stops, to decide if I’m heading home. And I’m at one of the two, Facebook and IM, cell phone, headset, and ringing. I’m not answering/chatting with the friend I yelled at, just yet. It is, by the way, Dr. King’s birthday, ya know. How apropos.

I’m in the truck stop, in my truck, Facebook and IM and a new person appears, but not unexpectedly. So the other friend that was raped repeatedly on that blog, the new person, and I. The new person is the new friend. Wait, wasn’t there a millstone? Isn’t this Dr. King’s birthday? How apropos.

Three hours later, IM, Facebook, laughter, tears, cell phone, ringing, texting, voice mails, loud music, the noise in my head subsiding, antacids; and a sandwich, because truck stops have fast food. In Memphis of all places. On Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday, no less. How apropos.

It’s late and I’m writing, in the truck at the truck stop with the fast food. Noise in my head is gone, so is IM, music and cell phone. The love of my life has called, her good night given, I love you’s shared. All other friends gone. Quiet, even the cat is quiet. The engine runs, to keep me warm. It is Memphis in winter, ya know. On Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday. How fucking apropos.

I stand by my words, whether you like them or not. I’ve learned much here, both good and bad. But y’all have been deceived by someone with far more sinister plans than all the junk thought up by the TG to date. Call me stupid, or paranoid, or just call me a cab. It doesn’t matter one way or another. Y’all have become obsolete and irrelevant. I and others like me are creating a new paradigm. Go read Aria’s last blog post and maybe you’ll get a clue.

Or maybe not.

I have no more to say here.

I hate goodbyes… but this one was necessary and just.

…

I decided after thoughtful consideration, to reinstate this post. No more capitulation, not now, not ever. And as far as Aria’s blog post goes, well, that’s gone too. Permanently.

I previously linked to my friend Aria’s new post here. I’d like to add some thoughts, observations, and conclusions of my own.

I discovered, over the past six months to a year, how much I dislike fighting. Whether it was commenting somewhere or on my own blog, I felt the same disquiet fall over me like a cold fog. I felt dirty. Every time.

I’m not angry, or bitter. Really. I actually love who I am and the life I’ve created for myself and my spouse. I’m at ease and content with my life. Life has become a series of daily challenges, to be won or lost. And, contrary to popular belief, this started before my surgeries, not after.

I’m tired of the old ways, of constantly defending myself from the onslaught of ridiculous accusations and slurs to my character, intelligence, and sanity.

I’m not on display for some man’s prurient interests, nor will I continue to respond to his overt or covert verbal violence. If I’m not pretty enough or feminine enough, too fucking bad. My spouse loves me just the way I am.

I didn’t “cut my balls off”, nor did I “mutilate my genitalia”. I had corrective surgery. It has nothing to do with you so get over it.

And I didn’t decide this in a drunken stupor, listening to country music, which I actually like. This was decided for me before I was born.

So….

If you’re looking for a fight, go elsewhere. I refuse to play that anymore. I will not respond, nor let others goad me into responding.

I will not go looking for fights and drama. I’m done with that.

I will try to be a good example for others. I will practice live and let live. Everyone has the right to choose their own path.