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Good news, everyone! The smash flop Watch_Dogs has a sequel a comin’! Yay!

And even better, the lead ISN’T that Aiden jackass! Seriously, JACKASS.

CONFETTI!!

Holy moley did you see the trailer? The lead looks, OMG, sit down, hold on to your beverage: BLACK!

Abandon Ship! We are not happy anymore!!

And that was when some Steam users left the parade. Well, not before dropping some bits of shit in the forums. Thankfully, Jim Sterling did the digging so I didn’t have to and found the best corn in the shit, stepping on every single one of my pet peeves of entitled gamerbros.

“Wah, this character is just shoehorned in!!” Dude, the game isn’t even out yet and it seems to me that this lead will fit in perfectly. You know, since he’s the lead and all.

“EMBRACE DIVERSITY. PREPARE YOUR CUCKSHED” Yes, because accepting a character that isn’t Grizzled Straight White Male with MANPAIN number 39023 is EXACTLY like watching one’s wife being fucked by another man.

Also, a whole host of harmless perverts called. They want their word back. What you’re doing to ‘cuck’ is just disgusting and twisted.

There was more, including the use of “dindus”, which should be written on a piece of paper and thrown into a bonfire, but my favorite was, “Black people don’t know how to use technology.”

I present my reaction in a series of pictures:

Okay, on the serious, I’ve been sick of the fact that any part of my humanity being reflected on the media I consume is “pandering”. Fuck you. What a bunch of whiny babies, crying because some other kid got a cookie while they’re holding a jar full of ’em. And got the damn nerve to call us SJWs ‘sensitive’ and ‘offended easily’.

Well, guess what, buttercups, you better keep those hankies handy, because as game developers, both indie and the various As, start to recognize that they can do more than GSWMwM in their games, you’re going to be crying a lot more.

Because we’re winning. And besides, you hypocrites, you’re going to buy and play the game anyway, because you’re a bunch of addicts who can’t even hold off on online preorders, even though they’re complete fucking toss and a waste of money and you whine about them every time (like, for example, the previous Watch_Dogs prerelease. How you liking that ‘iconic’ cap?).

So, throw your tantrums, have your meltdowns. The rest of us, who just want a good game (without fucking Aiden that fucking unlikable no personality thug) are just sitting here like:

Confession: I don’t watch TV. Or Netflix. My media input is pretty much YouTube and music videos and video games.

But I’m aware enough to know when shit is going down on the TV. And that’s when I run to Twitter. It is so much more enjoyable to me to check our livetweets of other people watching shows, like watching Let’s Play and stuffs. I howled when Nicki called out Miley, and I’ve been keeping up with the Republican debates.

It’s been a clown car of fuckery, but we all knew that. But oh boy oh boy did this quote hit me in the fucking fucks:

Wow.

Just. Wow.

What drugs were you on when you watched that video? Did someone switch the video out for A Serbian Film? What the entire fuck?

Polifact has been busy as fuck with each of these debates, calling out the outright lies frothing out of the mouths of these clowns, and they tackled this one and called it Mostly False. Okay, fine (EDIT: Mostly False isn’t actually okay with me). I can take my time ripping this ignorant fuckstick to shreds.

Cathy, can I call you Cathy? Too bad, I’m calling you Cathy, first I have a song for you:

Seriously, Oh My God, why the fuck you lyin’? Are you even aware of how abortions are even DONE? Probably not, because for your types, it’s just easier to repeat bullshit lies and arguments from ‘EW’ and people will just nod their heads and agree with you. Anyone watching the videos, the unedited, unspun videos, would call you for your crap.

Which scares the fuck out of me. With the House actually pass their bullshit defund Planned Parenthood bill, it’s obvious that this bullshit lying tactic is actually working. I don’t escort at a PP, so I don’t hear the worst of the bullshit, but it’s there.

“Planned Parenthood sells baby parts!!!”

And my eyes rolls until I get a headache. I hate this. I hate this so much. I know it’s gonna get veto’d so hard, and it might be the cause for yet another Republican temper tantrum i.e. government shutdown. Because they hate a health clinic.

A health clinic that doesn’t take federal money for the abortions it does.

I know at this point I’m supposed to mention that only 3% of what PP does is abortion, but frankly, I’m utterly fuckless. I don’t care if Planned Parenthood did 50%, 75%, 100% abortions. I don’t care if they provided doulas, massage therapists, soft music, a fluffy robe, general anesthesia and gave patients a puppy afterwards. Abortions aren’t a terrible awful thing. It’s a medical procedure. It’s gross, but so’s watching open heart surgery. It can be uncomfortable, even painful (I’m remembering the “let’s get past the cervix” part of my old IUD insertion and having that for a 5-15 minute procedure makes me want to scream. Knock me the fuck out, please), but so’s dental surgery.

That’s it. That’s all. Strip the emotional guilt trippy “it’s a baaaabeee” bullshit, and all you got is a basic, safe, medical procedure. The vast majority of people who have it will move on with their lives without regrets, and we’ve got studies to prove that. Defunding Planned Parenthood won’t end abortions. Making abortions illegal will not end abortions.

Making abortions sound like some horror movie bullshit won’t end them either. And you should know better, Cathy.

I was at CONvergence. It was fun, but also very, very exhausting for me with the whole fibro plus GAD thing. But I did remember my self-care, so I got through it.

All while dressed in a very eye catching outfit.

…told y’all I loved me some Dragon Age: Inquisition.

Anyway, that happened and then the week of mental and physical recovery happened and now I’m here. Still tired in the brain, but holy shit stuff happened and I can’t let it all pass without some commentary, so I’m dragging the Linky Roundup tag out of storage just for you.

** First of all: The ever awesome Iris Vander Pluym has awarded Seriously?!? a Very Inspiring Blogger Award, and I am very pleased as punch. Thank you, Iris! If you haven’t given Perry Street Place a gander, you simply must. And if you haven’t also given any of the other blogs on the list a gander, see previous sentence.

** I apparently missed an amazing Twitter clapback, or should I call this a clapBLACK. There’s this hashtag that got some notice, #whitegirlsdoitbetter. It in the vein of those “Post to make a black girl mad” BS nonsense that has white women try super hard with their attempt to copy our dance moves, gratuitous booty shots and picture of adorable interracial children. Personally, the first two make me giggle (I’m not into body shaming, but if you’re trying to prove that your ass is better than your average black girl, HAVE SOME ASS. Otherwise, stick with what you know you’ve got and do you, okay?), and the last makes me roll my eyes. Congrats, you have bedded a black man and have born his children. I’m supposed to be ‘mad’ why?

So, this hashtag. I have no idea when it appeared on Black Twitter’s radar, but it did and the reactions were priceless. Blavity has the highlights. Lesson, don’t come for us if we didn’t send for you.

** Speaking of people on Twitter who I think are amazing and should be followed by everyone, actress/comedian/general hoopy frood who knows where her towel is Pia Glenn delighted her YouTube subscribers by bringing back her trifling cousin Yvonne to explain why Black Twitter is pissed by people who pull from them without compensation.

“What’s going on with Black Twitter? The rent, bitch!”

Seriously, watch it.

** Bringing the mood down, another day, another reminder of how Black Lives Don’t Matter. Add “exercising your own damn horses” to the list of shit we can’t do without getting some shit and then death from cops Rest in Power, Jonathan Sanders.

** Homophobic and just plain foolish county clerks are reacting to gay marriage being a thing everywhere in this country by refusing to do their jobs. Again, fuck your “closely-held religious beliefs”.

** In “shit I can’t believe I have to say to people news”: Ladies, a man in a kilt is not an invitation. Keep your fucking hands to yourselves, for fuck’s sake.

…and to round things off, Rest Well, Satoru Iwata-san, president of Nintendo. The gamer community will miss you terribly.

So, my birthday is October 13th. Occasionally my natal day falls on Columbus Day, and that is the case this year. Thinking about that got me thinking about the trend of Columbusing, the trend of white people discovering something minorities have been doing for ages and treating it as a “new discovery”. Twerking, bindi, etc, etc.

If you haven’t guessed, Columbusing sucks. It’s awful. It’s insensitive. So, when three articles come out in succession about big booties, gelled baby hairs (can we stop using ‘urban’ to mean black, please thank you?), and now cornrows, I have no words left for my reaction.