Long before Skip Bayless bloviated on ESPN, he worked at the Dallas Morning News and for a time was the feature sports columnist there. In the early ’90s, he parlayed his work as a print journalist into a series of books on those wild Dallas Cowboys teams. In the third book, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About the “Win or Else” Dallas Cowboys, Bayless addressed a rumor about Troy Aikman’s sexuality. In short, he said there were people in the Cowboys organization that believed Aikman was gay.

Deitsch: There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you, and people who read this column know very well how I feel professionally about Skip Bayless. In a book on the Cowboys in the 1990s, Bayless had a unsubstantiated claim that you were gay. Over the years you have generally not responded to this but I did read in the Dallas Morning News a couple of years ago that you said, and I quote: “I’ve not physically seen Skip Bayless since that time. That was in ’95. And I still kind of wonder what I might do to him when I do see him.” How much anger today do you feel about what was written in that book?

Aikman: I’m upset about it because it was made up and there was nothing accurate about anything that was insinuated. And he did it, as he does everything, just for attention. I am probably more upset because I probably should have responded to it at the time it was going on. The advice to me was “Hey, just don’t address it. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t make any sense. It’s ridiculous. All it’s going to do is have people continue to talk about his book.” So I didn’t. But I probably could have responded differently and maybe that would have changed things. Maybe it wouldn’t have. But it is ridiculous, and, yeah, it bothers me. If that is a lifestyle people choose, so be it. It doesn’t affect me one way or another. But it is not my lifestyle.

FOX just aired this um, telenovela parody featuring Joe Buck and Troy Aikman during the 4th quarter of the Chargers-49ers preseason game AND THAT’S A FAKE MUSTACHE TROY! You take that off right now! If somebody has an explanation for this, please pass it on. Otherwise, I’m gonna pretend that an intern got high as hell in the video room and went to town on some Funyons.

]]>http://uproxx.com/sports/2014/08/there-are-no-words-for-this-joe-buck-troy-aikman-telenovela/feed/8Troy AikmanisaacandThe Most Star-Studded Episodes To Watch During FXX’s ‘The Simpsons’ Marathonhttp://uproxx.com/tv/2014/08/simpsons-best-cameos-episodes/
http://uproxx.com/tv/2014/08/simpsons-best-cameos-episodes/#commentsTue, 19 Aug 2014 15:30:42 +0000http://uproxx.com/?p=663366 is going to air , it’s time for us to start cherry-picking our favorites for the sake of not clogging our DVRs. While my colleague Josh has already touched on some of the most important episodes for any real die-hard Simpsons fan, I’m more interested in catching all of the best star-packed episodes that feature A- and B-list celebrity cameos, because it’s always fascinating to see how many famous people paid visits to Springfield over the years.]]>

The Simpsons

Now that we already know when every single episode in FXX’s 25-season (and one movie) marathon of The Simpsonsis going to air, it’s time for us to start cherry-picking our favorites for the sake of not clogging our DVRs. While my colleague Josh has already touched on some of the most important episodes for any real die-hard Simpsons fan, I’m more interested in catching all of the best star-packed episodes that feature A- and B-list celebrity cameos, because it’s always fascinating to see how many famous people paid visits to Springfield over the years. Some have been frequent visitors while others were seen and then never heard from again, but the show was always at its best when the biggest celebrities brought their friends.

In fact, The Simpsons Movie (Aug. 29 at 6 PM ET) ended up having too many celebrity cameos, because appearances by Edward Norton, Minnie Driver, Isla Fisher and Erin Brockovich ultimately ended up on the cutting room floor, and even Kelsey Grammer’s Sideshow Bob contributions were left out, according to the film’s DVD commentary. Fortunately, the show’s individual episodes didn’t have to worry about axing famous voices for the sake of time, and the celebrity Simpsons cameo ended up becoming a staple of pop culture, like hosting Saturday Night Live or sleeping with Lindsay Lohan.

Longtime, devoted fans of the series obviously don’t need to be told that The Simpsons had a ton of celebrity guests along the way, but believe it or not there are people out there who have never watched an episode of this beloved show. Hell, I live with one. So consider this another cheat sheet for the fans who plan to set their DVRs accordingly come Thursday at 10 AM ET and a primer for any potential newcomers who want to dive in head first to catch their favorite celebrities in animated action.

Single Star Episodes of Note

As I mentioned, Josh has previously the most important episodes that every Simpsons fan should already be looking forward to, so I’m going to try hard not to repeat those by only including multiple-star episodes, but these solo celebrity appearances are favorites of mine that need inclusion:

Stark Raving Dad (Season 3, 1992) – Aug. 22, 3:30 AM ET

Fox

My friends and I used to meet before school on Monday mornings so we could talk about The Simpsons and In Living Color, and I still remember talking about this episode, because nobody ever thought that it was actually Michael Jackson playing Leon Kompowsky. After all, the credits showed that “John Jay Smith” provided the voice, but it was Jackson all along.

Bart’s Girlfriend (Season 6, 1994) – Aug. 23, 4:30 PM ET

Fox

Nancy Cartwright, who provides the voices of Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz and Ralph Wiggum, among others, told a story about the time that Streep showed up to record her lines as Rev. Lovejoy’s daughter. Cartwright wanted the actress’s autograph was too shy and/or intimidated to ask because it was, you know, Meryl-f*cking-Streep, but when the day’s work was done, Streep asked Cartwright for her autograph because “her kids were great Simpson fans and she would be in big trouble if she did not get Cartwright’s autograph.”

Bart the Mother (Season 10, 1998) – Aug. 25, 4:30 PM ET

Fox

This was the final appearance of Phil Hartman and the retirement of Troy McClure. Hartman appeared on the show 52 times, more than any other celebrity to this day, and 25 times more than Joe “Fat Tony” Mantegna, who is in second place. I just don’t want this one to catch us all off guard when it airs, because I’m sad just thinking about it.

Dexter Manley is not known for being the most rational person in the world when it comes to giving interviews, but today he might have gotten himself fired.

Details are scarce at this point, but Manley said he “always thought Troy Aikman was queer” during a Redskins game recap. Aikman was Fox’s color-man for the Broncos curb-stomping of the Redskins yesterday, so maybe Manley blamed him for throwing 3 interceptions or abandoning the running game at halftime, I don’t know. I can report exclusively having sat behind Dexter during an opening night screening of “Ocean’s 11″ ten years ago that Dexter thinks gay and Asian jokes are both hilarious, so this type of comment doesn’t really shock me. Dexter’s always been a bit of a ticking time bomb in his interviews, usually skating on the tolerable and lovable side of insanity, but it sounds like he crossed the line here. Jim Farley, VP of Programming for WTOP responded to the incident on Twitter:

@mypettyhates We are shocked and stunned. Needless to say, Dexter Manley will not be on WTOP again. #WTOP

We haven’t heard the actual audio yet despite The Big Lead’s best efforts, and I don’t think we’re going to unless someone happened to record it live. However we can be sure that if Manley had a degree from Vanderbilt and used a slightly more appropriate euphemism he just might have gotten a job at ESPN instead of getting fired from local talk radio.

]]>http://uproxx.com/ksk/2013/10/dexter-manley-calls-troy-aikman-queer-d-c-morning-show-will-asked-back/feed/41Screen shot 2013-10-28 at 9.59.55 AMkissingsuzykolberTroy Aikman Wants To Hang With The Actress From ‘Malibooty’http://uproxx.com/ksk/2013/06/troy-aikman-wants-to-hang-with-the-actress-from-malibooty/
http://uproxx.com/ksk/2013/06/troy-aikman-wants-to-hang-with-the-actress-from-malibooty/#commentsThu, 06 Jun 2013 14:51:43 +0000http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/?p=65701 sent what he thought was a direct message (since deleted) to Mari Morrow, a 39-year-old actress who you might remember from small roles in such very ’90s shows as “Baywatch”, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, “Family Matters” and “The Jamie Foxx Show”.]]>

Troy Aikman doesn’t really know how Twitter works, and that’s to our benefit. This morning, he sent what he thought was a direct message (since deleted) to Mari Morrow, a 39-year-old actress who you might remember from small roles in such very ’90s shows as “Baywatch”, “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, “Family Matters” and “The Jamie Foxx Show”. Oh, and let’s not forget her unforgettable roles in Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest and, of course, Malibooty.

The problem is, direct messages don’t work like retweets. So instead of a private communication with Morrow, Aikman just broadcast to the world his desire to hook up. And that’s all right. Aikman just wanted to let her know that he’s gonna be in LA soon and he’s thinking of her and, y’know, would she be interested in making a very ’90s baby? No one’s judging. Troy got divorced two years ago. Go get that Malibooty, champ.

Coming out of halftime of Sunday’s Saints-Giants game, FOX played a clip of M83’s “Midnight City” over a montage of highlights from the first half. While the song is more than a year old, that a sports broadcast plays anything from the last five years is a rarity. Joe Buck took the occasion to boast of his hipster cred by namechecking a few popular indie pop bands while making fun of Troy Aikman for not being “with it”.

“All right now, Fred Aldous in our audio department is pulling out the good stuff. You hear a little M83, a little Passion Pit, a little Phoenix, then you’re talking about good music here on The NFL on FOX. And, uh, here’s a guy who discovered Mumford & Sons, like, four days ago. Troy Aikman to my right…”

Oh snap! Mumford burn!

That’s a perfect encapsulation of Joe Buck in full smug. Never mind that “Midnight City” isn’t exactly that obscure of a hit. It gets play on commercial rock radio throughout the country. But whatever, Joe Buck was totally into M83 before you were.

The Redskins beat the Saints 40-32 on Sunday, and in NFL fan terms that means “the Redskins are going to have a great season and win the Superbowl”, so here’s the first of what I assume will be an absolute deluge of RG3 rap tributes. This one is from “Money M.I.C.” and features a burning Troy Aikman jersey. Because, you know, that’s timely. (via Outside The Boxscore)

]]>http://uproxx.com/sports/2012/09/rg3-rap-tribute-money-mic/feed/0uproxxTroy Aikman Sashays His Way Onto Dancing With the Starshttp://uproxx.com/sports/2010/07/troy-aikman-sashays-his-way-onto-dancing-with-the-stars/
http://uproxx.com/sports/2010/07/troy-aikman-sashays-his-way-onto-dancing-with-the-stars/#commentsThu, 29 Jul 2010 17:20:03 +0000http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=36791 Though he may change his mind when he realizes that it’s against the rules to pick a male dance partner, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and footballing hall-of-famer Troy Aikman will once again don a pair of the formfitting pants you know he’s been pining for since his concussion filled days on the gridiron finished up and shake his groove thang on national television. Yes, be prepared for a shock of soul enrapturing blond hair to fill your sense because American pretty boy Troy Aikman will follow in the footsteps of his old Cowboys teammate and serial word garbler Emmitt Smith to sign on for the 867th season of Dancing With the Stars. Stop pretending to look surprised.

Following in the rhinestone capezios of his former Dallas Cowboys teammate Emmitt Smith — legendary QB Troy Aikman told us last night that he’s officially on board for the next season of “Dancing with the Stars.”

It’s pretty unusual for a celeb to spill the beans before ABC makes its official announcement … so if he was being serious, there might be some hell to pay down the line. -TMZ

Ooooh, you see that? Troy Aikman ain’t supposed to be saying these things. Troy Aikman’s in TROOOUUUUUUUBLLLEEEEEE! *Three snaps in a z formation, sasses my way back to the barbershop*. Is going on Dancing With the Stars the new cool thing to do for washed up former athletes? Jerry Rice, Lawrence Taylor, that dude from the Giants who was on the bachelor, Jason Taylor, Maurice Greene, Warren Sapp, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Evander Holyfield and Chad Johnson have all signed on in the past to show that with the right combination of painkillers, their arthritic knees can still do athletic maneuvers normally reserved for those Step-Up movies. I guess this is what happens when athletes lose all hope for an appearance in Space Jam 2.

Plus, isn’t it everybody’s private prerogative to smack on some lip gloss, wear an outfit that would make Zorro blush and head to the mirror for a session of pretending to bop along with John Travolta to the soundtrack of Grease? Wait, I mean Olivia Newton-John. Oops, have I revealed too much?

]]>http://uproxx.com/sports/2010/07/troy-aikman-sashays-his-way-onto-dancing-with-the-stars/feed/7uproxxaikmancutoffSKIP BAYLESS SAID AIKMAN WAS A HOMOhttp://uproxx.com/sports/2009/02/skip-bayless-said-aikman-was-a-homo/
http://uproxx.com/sports/2009/02/skip-bayless-said-aikman-was-a-homo/#commentsThu, 26 Feb 2009 18:23:53 +0000http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=15609Some people have characterized ESPN’s Skip Bayless as the spawn of Satan, and that’s fine, but this asshole would argue that being such a prick wouldn’t hurt the credibility of statements he’d made about Troy Aikman’s sexuality. Bayless made the allegation of Troy’s policy of “pro-homo” in his new book, Hell-Bent: The Crazy Truth About The “Win Or Else” Dallas Cowboys. When pressed about his comments in an interview with The Starting Five, Bayless didn’t back down:

I wish I had sledgehammered [my statements] because it was the truth and everyone who knew what was going on inside the locker room told me the book was a terrific job and that I nailed it.

Because I did. It’s exactly what happened. All I heard from people around the country who didn’t read the book was, “You outed Troy Aikman?” I didn’t. The coach definitely thought he was gay and a lot of his teammates thought he was gay. More than that, they thought he was racist and they thought he was trying to get Barry Switzer.

I see nothing wrong with being a gay quarterback. I can only hope that someday, if this is true, that Troy will have the courage to come forward and fully reveal himself to a public that will accept him for who he is. But we’re not there yet, so let’s just point and yell, “Haha, you’re gay!”