"Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet… but man (laughs). So to answer your question, I don't know." – Homer Simpson, "A Fish Called Selma"

Movie Pitch Friday: Cap’n Crunch

Here’s the premise: I’m going to start a semi-regular feature here where I pitch a movie as if my opinion matters and that you, the reader, are a gaggle of Hollywood execs.

Sounds simple? It is.

First off, a bad idea whose time has come (and would, in my eyes, almost certainly be greenlit (greenlighted?)): Cap’n Crunch: The Movie!

Pirates are hot right now. Disney did an entire trilogy based on a theme park ride, so the current pop culture environment is ripe to take advantage of a beloved breakfast icon who just happens to have a nautical theme: Cap’n Crunch.

Second, Jay Ward cartoons have been movies before.

George of the Jungle. Dudley Do-Right. Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Who cares if they all bombed and 2/3 of them starred Brendan Fraser? Not me.

You could make your money back on the DVD and cable rights, plus Fraser is probably still free from some fat-suit prosthesis, a fake mustache and that blue hat.

Also, I’d have Judd Apatow direct. He loves the comedies and his wife starred in George of the Jungle so it’d be a natural fit.

All we need now is some veteran British actor to play the villain, say Peter O’Toole since he’s on the comeback trail, and we’re all set.