Shortly after reading his decision letter, newly accepted member of the class of 2019 Alden Johnson was forced to make one of the toughest decisions of his life: Should he purchase a Pulp Fiction poster, or the less obvious image of Johnny Cash flipping the bird, to adorn his dorm room next year? On the one hand, aspiring movie snobs need to have a Pulp Fiction poster to show the world they mean business when it comes to film, but nothing says provocative like a middle finger. “I want to be different, you know? A real Maverick” Johnson said in an interview, “So I think the Cash poster better achieves that goal, but, at the same time, it’s Tarantino, Ezekiel twenty-five-whatever-it-is.”

Torn between the two, Johnson finally decided that in order to truly demonstrate his under-the-radar film knowledge, he should choose one of Tarantino’s lesser known works. “I was worried that my poster choice wouldn’t clearly demonstrate to the all the beautiful babies I brought back to my room how interesting I was. Then it hit me. A Reservoir Dogs poster can demonstrate both my quirky taste in movies and how against the grain and edgy my personality is.” Johnson also stated that he plans on bringing his acoustic guitar to campus and wooing honies with his cover of “Wonderwall” in Frosh Quad.