Leonardo and The Bear

Leonardo Di Caprio cares about things that matter. He cares about the environment, for instance. Because he knows, that without an environment we'd all have to live in a vacuum (not an actual vacuum cleaner, more like a black hole.) I mean, without an environment, there'd be nothing. Not even time and space, making it mighty tuff to exist in any form, let alone as a carbon-based life form with a car and a house, to say nothing of movie theaters. So I'm with him on that one. He also said climate change is real, “Take it from me, an actor who pretends for a living. Plus, last year was the hottest year ever.” Has anyone ever actually looked at how the temperature data is collected? I didn’t think so. And as long as you don’t, anyone can say anything and pretty much get away with it. But he cares enough to fly around the world in a private jet emitting pollution like a kid with a hairspray can and a lighter aimed at the ozone layer, only magnified billions of times. You gotta get the message out, though. Maybe he doesn’t have a Facebook page? Hmm?

As far as his Oscar, like a lot of people, I think that should've gone to the bear, which was the best part of the movie. I realize that the bear was CGI, but what isn't nowadays. Actors are made to look thinner, with better bodies. They appear to be doing all sorts of amazing things that they’re not actually doing. They travel with photographers that will make them look good, no matter what. They're shot in the most flattering light. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always Photoshop. “Sheeit!” Who wouldn't look good under those circumstances?

Apparently, many a heart was warmed that he finally got his Oscar after all those years of being denied. I can only imagine the poor bastard, mulling around a series of global mansions, distraught about his lack recognition from his peers (a bunch of similarly, filthy rich millionaires.) I guess income inequality will have to be put on hold until we straighten this shit out.

As far as the film being a realistic portrayal of historic events, it appears it was nothing of the kind. The well-known survivalist Lee Stroud (Surviorman) said he walked out of the theatre midway through the movie because it was so littered with clichés and lacking in realism that he couldn’t take it. Of course, the story was absolutely true, except for the facts. Past that, it was spot on.

Thankfully, Mr. Di Crapio didn’t speechify about other hot topics like income inequality and the minimum wage. Why alert the IRS to those hundreds of millions of dollars that he gets for pretending. If he did that, he might have to share some of it.

​Yes, in Hollywood, CEO's are a bunch of thieving scum for creating jobs and helping to make things that people actually want and use. But an actor pretending to be something, that's money well spent. Is there any wonder why we’re in such trouble? I don’t think so.