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Monday, 16 March 2015

10 things I hate about everything

1. PDA
Whether you are single or in a relationship, PDA is looking at someone else getting jiggy with it. There is nothing nice about looking at two people playing tonsil hockey. Unless you're betting on whose going to win, PDA could be kind of, somehow, maybe, just a little bit be tolerated...maybe.

2. SAND
Like a disease, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or smell; sand spreads, clings to and follows you everywhere. It doesn't matter how hard you try to get rid of it, there is always going to be just that little bit left behind. Like an unwanted keepsake of that time you once went to the beach.

3. KNOW IT ALLs
I don't know what it is about knowledge and knowing more than another person, but there are some people that just want to prove it to anyone who will listen. TBH nobody got time for dat and you just come across as desperate and annoying. #STFU

4. INDICATORS
Pretty much a standard thing, but hint - use them. People belong in 3 categories.
- The overall non indicators.
- The ''indicate as I turn" indicators
- The "i indicate way before I turn and therefore it turns off before I actually turn" indicators
Hate to admit, but as much as everyone says they indicate religiously we all know that whoever owns an actual license is in one of the 3 categories above. But hey, haters gon hate.

5. HANGOVERS
The ultimate Bible definition for the word hate. I have never met someone that could honestly say they enjoy a hangover. The only thing that could be considered good about a hangover is the amount of greasy, fast food you can eat without having to justify it or feel bad about it later.

6. CLEANING
Apart from the annual spring clean/new wardrobe/rearranging your house clean- cleaning sucks.
If one more person says that cleaning cleanses your soul or tries to give another bulls*** excuse about how their OCD makes cleaning enjoyable, sh*** will hit the fan pronto.

7. OVER PRICED ITEMS
Clothes, drinks, food, anything that you know is cheaper in one place but significantly more expensive in another just because of its location, brand or just because they want to is super irritating and could cause a new war. #getrichordietryin

8. LOUD NOISES
Probably not something that you would have thought of at first, but now you're thinking about it, you're remembering all those times the lawn mower woke you up at 5am, or those teenagers that drove past your house with an unnecessarily loud engine or that time the baby was behind you on that 12 hour flight.

9. BO
With this amazing invention called deodorant, there is literally no excuse for someone to smell. Perfume, body mist, deodorant, soap, whatever the f*** works for you, mate- spray it. That's not the worst part though, its the people that do smell and you offer them deodorant or a spray and they have the nerve to say "no, i'm all good thanks". Like no, no you ain't good.

10. MONDAYS
If you can make a Monday work for you, cudos. But for those that have the 9-5 job or are hungover from a kick-ass Sunday sesh, Monday's are just not your day. It is the only day that is the furthest from Friday. Need I say more?