“We’re told that to be great is to be bold, and to be happy is to be sociable. Our society disfavors shy and introverted traits. One way we manifest this bias is by encouraging perfectly healthy shy people to see themselves as ill or weird. Many adults work for organizations that now assign work in teams, in offices without walls, for supervisors who value ‘people skills’ above all. As a society, we prefer action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. Studies show that we rank fast and frequent talkers as more competent, likable and even smarter than slow ones.” – Susan Cain

“Shyness and introversion — or more precisely, the careful, sensitive temperament from which both often spring — are not just normal. They are valuable. And they may be essential to the survival of our species. Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people fear negative judgment; introverts simply prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments. But shyness and introversion share an undervalued status in a world that prizes extroversion. ” – Susan Cain

So why are we taking ‘social medicines’? Social pressure to talk like a funny, charming extrovert? Not being okay with ourselves as quiet and awkward, because society says so? If people only like you when you’re ‘drunk you’, is that what you really want?

‘Social medicine’ can come in many forms – alcohol being the main one, but also prescribed anti-anxiety type drugs, marijuana, and many other illegal drugs. The problem with that is, it’s escaping reality, escaping yourself, potentially dangerous to health/deadly, and it creates a crutch to lean on which can lead to addiction. Acceptance and love from within allows you to use these things for fun and be in control of them, so I’m going to work on achieving that!

Just one more great quote:

“The act of treating shyness as an illness obscures the value of that temperament. Ridding people of social unease need not involve pathologizing their fundamental nature, but rather urging them to use its gifts.“ – Susan Cain

A side effect or a price that we pay for having this self awareness, a higher consciousness is we have the ability to judge, bully and oppress others of our kind. I really think it’s a shame and small minded to do so. You would never see a tiger oppress a dog because it was different, it wouldn’t care at all if the dog was gay, female, mentally ill or a drug addict.

But us humans can be really mean, when really everyone wants to just belong, be accepted, appreciated and loved right?

Imagine if we could extend our empathy not just to our family and friends but to all humans and animals? It’s hard to live on this planet as it is. Empowering instead of judging…

“People can only live a happy life if they can live the way their brain has been programmed, and the state should accept that, and guarantee them the freedom to live that way so long as they don’t harm others. You should have the freedom to live as a homosexual, a transsexual, a heterosexual, and be protected by the state.” – Dick Swaab

We should stop obsessing so much about the differences and look at the similarities between us all.

Where oppression needs more empathy, compassion and understanding:

– Sexuality (gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, a-sexuals, pan-sexuals…)

– Gender (male, female, transexual, transvestite, androgynus…)

– Race

– Drug addiction/abuse – legal and illegal

– Elderly

– Disabled

– Mentally ill

– Introverts

– Religious and non-religious types

– People who don’t belong in the justice system

– Honest people on the dole or benefits

– Did I miss any?

Anything that doesn’t fit the majority opinion of the population in at least western societies, gets cast out as weird and wrong and the rest are selected to be celebrated and pushed onto others. Is that more about them than us? – Just look at the way some straight people see gay people getting married as weakening the meaning of traditional marriage etc. Their identities and world views are tied to these outside things so tightly that for someone to come along and be different to that, makes them feel more insecure and challenges their identity.

Philip Seymour Hoffman has just died from a drug overdose, along with many other celebrities and people no one knows. Anyone can become addicted to drugs, you just have to have them available and have an addictive personality, or have lots of pain and suffering. How can we judge someone who is suffering or someone’s personality which they can’t control?

For the oppressors – you might be able to judge us and hate us, but control is an illusion, you can’t change what is inevitable and what is natural. Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it 🙂

Leaving you with two great songs around these subjects!

The world needs love:

And people need compassion and empathy, anyone could become homeless if they’re unlucky enough:

I love these lyrics that I interpret to be about doing whatever you like with your life because it’s yours, making your own path, self acceptance, empowerment and acceptance of the inevitable and uncontrollable. You can’t help, change or control being born or dying, have to accept and respect nature. What you do in-between that time (womb – ? – tomb) is entirely up to you. Enjoy it while it lasts.

And also Cake – Thrills

“Man is born, man lives, man dies.” Such a true statement, that is life and nature. These are facts and fate we can’t escape. Death and aging is scary and depressing to me, which is silly because it’s totally natural. Knowing and remembering you’re going to die one day, can be helpful in viewing life with a different mindset enabling you make the most of your time here. For example, “when work feels overwhelming, remember that you’re going to die.” Or this “I’m living like there’s no tomorrow, because there isn’t one.” ― Don Draper, Mad Men.

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.” ― Mark Twain

A great quote to live life by, sometimes it’s all anyone can do. There’s many things in life we have no control over and if you tried your best, how can you have regrets?

If you’re the kind of person who’s hard on yourself, bit of a perfectionist with really high expectations like me, then lower your expectations and as long as you’ve tried your best, that’s absolutely good enough.