No worries, I always questioned the name hot box, given it was more luke warm.

You have to remember most of aven is uni/college students and given the most sought after degree is "how to shut others down" then you can understand why those saying we should all be tolerant...are actually thinking...I'm gonna press the report button the minute anyone says anything I don't like.

I can imagine all those expensive degree's going to good use now..."No you can't have fries with that!! They are white and abelist "

This is my opinion and is shared by many, some differ from it and if your in the other place, it's about 6 of them

The problem the desirists have is desire is simply another word for want...I have wanted sex before but never whilst single and it has always been not only to please a partner when they have wanted sex but sometimes they get themselves in a state that I know doing the pelvic mumba will help them calm down, a bit like a cutter when they see blood....Some times you use humour, sometimes you use alcohol, sometimes people punch a wall and sometimes yes..people f*ck...and afterwards all the stress and anger has gone...so I have used sex as a tool to achieve an end goal for my partner..being asexual means sexual acts are not anything within us '''it's just...meh

Personally I'd rather they go and have a soothing bath, I wait till they are in the bath soaking away, then I go in for a poo in the loo right next to the bath...they can't get a away but I bet you they forget why they were angry before the bath...so for me the desire is a cop out mostly used by lgbt biased people to be inclusive to any old person rather than accurate for asexuals

I go with the lacking sexual attraction myself but with a caveat..I feel you do know if you have not got it or not..and if you have ANY sexual attraction in any form, your sexual

all of these trying to find a label to blame then say they are asexual because of that is nonsense ..pretty much all of these silly labels coming up have absolutely nothing to do with asexuality as they are equally applicable to sexuals, which is what most of aven has become sadly, sexuals playing at being asexual

Desirist love tellin me that my lack of sexual attraction does not make me ace but I know that's not true. Ive dealt with some harassment due to me being open with my sexuality and things I deal with. I have ADHD which rarely travels alone one of the comorbidies is Hypersexuality disorder and it has cause me problems. I don't feel sexual attraction, I have a high libido and when Im my regular self Im sex-indifferent but when Im dysphoric it triggers my Hypersexuality and I do start wanting to engage in sex relative activity. I try to explain this on there but noone seem to listen. Folks say im mislableing myself and its been irksom. It makes me wonder how other aces with disorders get any support.

Because most of the sexual identitiy network, not just aven..see only them, they want to fit in so exagerate

Valentines day, honestly it was a race to say who could say the worst about a time that promoted love..it was eww that's horrible it should be banned ..because they need to be offended...I've seen some want a seperate chat for sexually repulsed..because they see sexual things ...sob sob sob

Asexuals are going to talk about sex,,,the same way atheists continually talk about religion...and on that asexual communities need to be more accepting

asexuality is not sexual repulsion, it is not anti sexual. Those can be by both sexuals and asexuals but I think some forget that as they trip over the pile of labels at their feet

the best way you can have an input is to create your own thread...something like ..a thread for high libido hyposexuals..others will come to it and offer support within that small group ?

Sex favourable thing: My current favourite gripe. Yesterday I was told on three separate occasions that I can't be asexual because I made a sex joke and said sex feels good.

A thread of mine got locked because I accused Aven of only allowing the stereotype of Antisexuality and Sex Repulsed to represent the Asexual population. Look how every thread about sex has been shoved into a subforum and how that subforum is part of the grey forum - because that's going to indicate to the public that any time someone mentions sex they're actually not asexual. Huh.

I wouldn't worry about Mysticus Insanus...he's so blinded by the definition debate that he can't see your argument...that man could have his own knob in his hand and still call it a cauliflower, your not going to get a lot of sense there

as to the person who appears to have started this latest sillyness off...greyce_queen....I can't help but notice that before your thread Ciri , she only had 5 posts in aven and was already claiming to be "marginalised" wanting safe spaces and is already talking about gate keeping

The give away..... As the person that started that thread, I was not identity policing anyone. People were being inconsiderate and refused to change the subject from sexual things

This is typical snowflakerry and it wouldn't be too far a stretch to imagine her saying...".I am now in the room, you all need to stop talking about what you were talking about, I don't care if you all liked it, I am here now and if you need to stop you marginalising me. There is a sex talk forum, your own little box to hide in but you must not do it in front of me because I am special"

I did like Sally's reply though.... Is someone forcing you to read or listen to those conversations?

Perhaps instead of having a sex talk sub forum...they should have had a instead a no sex talk sub forum for the anti's/repulsed?

This is why the the projection that continues to go un checked....that to be asexual you MUST BE sex repulsed/ anti sexual and anti sexuality and never have sex, is doing so much damage...whether you have sex or not or are anti sexual/sexually repulsed, it has nothing to do with asexuality

We still or some are still allowing...not have sex to be equated with asexuality

Because of this...some go into asexual forums expecting "everyone it's okay to hate sexuals, hate sex, don't talk about sex and have no sex....as I said before, we probably talk about it a lot in the same way atheists talk about religion...you can't have one without the other.

Remember I created Arocalypse a few years ago? Well last year, the domain expired in Nov while I was having family issues. So I spent all my cash getting to and from hospital appointments plus my own. Whilst I was raising money to get it back, somebody decided to recreate it in their own name without asking for my permission. And advertised it as 'Arocalypse' is back'. No, it is not fucking back, that was my forum, the name was mine and everything that went into it was me.

Now I'm being accused of being childish for being upset that they stole my project and community and the name.

I'm lost? is yours arocalypse.com the green forum. or are you saying when it lapsed someone has snuck in copied the forum. got the website address and set it up as theirs? if so I'm guessing it's blue pheonix ace, do you know them?

Last edited by PiF on Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

PiF wrote:I'm lost? is yours arocalypse.com the green forum. or are you saying when it lapsed someone has snuck in copied the forum. got the website address and set it up as theirs? if so I'm guessing it's blue pheonix ace, do you know them?

Mine was lilac. I lost the domain while my dad was in hospital. Came to reregister it and found someone had taken it and rebuild my website in their name claiming the forum was back. It was not nice going behind my back to do this and not ask my permission.

Sometimes I really wonder what's going on over there. How could they have become so messed up?I mean, I will pop in for a moment or two, once in a while, when a link is posted here at Apositive, but I haven't spent enough time there to really get a "feel" for it, if you know what I mean, since . . . well, since around the time that I stopped being an admod. Even then I could see that it was starting to fragment into a bunch of cliques that had little interaction with each other. I wonder if that's what has led to some of their problems, or at least been a contributing factor?

I mean, aside from them having no leader. That built-in instability will be enough to take them down eventually, but it won't happen overnight.

I don't know how what happened to arocalypse has to do with the AVEN leadership of lack thereof. The leaders of that site don't even have official AVEN positions afaik. I don't really like what happened there either, which puts us in a difficult bind; I'd like AVEN to have a good relationship with other ace/aromantic sites, but otoh it seems a little disrespectful given the way it was created. Hopefully something will work itself out.

There have been cliques for years on AVEN - that's just what happens when you get lots of people together of different views and personality types. Much of that occurs offsite anyway, in the various skype+other groups that form. Hey I'd like it if we could all be a big happy family, but that's not how life usually works out.

I was talking about AVEN, because I guessed that that's the site from which Tan is taking a break ('being as how it's supposedly the subject of this entire thread.) If she's taking a break from here then my comment makes no sense at all because it's out of context. (I really do try not to do that, but it has been known to happen.)

I don't know what to make of the arocalypse situation, except that I think it has a bad smell and I don't like it. However, I don't see AVEN being directly involved in it. It appears to be a case of individual assholery.

No, I meant here (didn't intend dropping by, but the site is still on my phone) Things have been happening around here that have shaken not just my complete faith but absolute certainties. Time to build up the walls again and repair those chinks in my armour I've allowed to develop.

I've put my name down for mod again though I don't know why I bother - the admods are never going to allow me in the back room again. They say they can't trust me - but if my thread had been declassified as I asked; then people would realise that some admods can't be trusted either and it isn't for them to say who should be allowed to be a mod - that is for the members to decide and admods learn to get along with whomever is elected.

You lose nothing when fighting for a cause ... In my mind the losers are those who don't have a cause they care about. - Muhammad Ali

Tan, if they were going to stop you running they would already have done so by now. Also they let you run for declass not too long ago, which has the same criteria as running for mod. So unless something has happened since then, they won't stop you running for this one. It's down to the voters.

Your thread will be declassed in due course. The email you were sent should contain an explanation of why it cannot be declassed at present. But eventually it will be.

As for learning to get along: this is down to the person elected just as much as the admods who are already there.

Tan . . . I'm not sure what to say since I'm not sure what happened. I guess the only thing I can ask is that you hear all sides of any issue before you make a decision. That's generic enough that it should apply to anything.

People on that site think behavior equals orientation smh. I try to share my very personal story of my struggle as a hypersexual asexual but no one wants to here it. They think they know everything and don't want to hear anyone that is different. I feel like an alien on that site, community my ass.

Spectre De Occulus wrote:People on that site think behavior equals orientation smh. I try to share my very personal story of my struggle as a hypersexual asexual but no one wants to here it. They think they know everything and don't want to hear anyone that is different. I feel like an alien on that site, community my ass.

Hello! I'm gathering it's you who has been PMing me on Aven. Due to technical difficulties, I haven't been able to read my PMs for months and when I can, it won't let me reply so I've been reading them on Email. Just wanted to say I'm not ignoring you! I genuinely can't reply.

How are you doing? I haven't been very active because I've actually been sorting out a few projects to get SF Asexuals some more visibility

This is spectre/ex/machina and ive just been encountering a lot of misguided people on aven with veiws of sex iv only seen on AVEN , its strange its like they want to rewrite sexuality to their desire. Everyone iv meet describes orientation on attraction but on that site they put emphasis on behavior or general sex desire . Also I shared something deeply personal but instead of reacting like normal people and checking on me they debate against my experience. Wtf, its strange.

Okay, this is weird.I already replied to the other thread before I read this, and I swear I was talking about the exact same thing. I have decided to call them exclusionists instead of elitists this time, but it's the same people. AVEN used to be very welcoming to a wide variety of asexuals, then they went through an elitist phase, then they swung back toward being tolerant. Now it sounds like the exclusionists are making noise again. Maybe it's a seasonal disorder . . .