No one saw it coming – except, apparently, for Javi, who's already talking about Lauren like she's the one.

He's also tearing apart the haters who dare to doubt his sincerity, a list that seems to include his most infamous ex:

1. The Happy Couple

Javi and Lauren are officially back together. The couple connected online and then met at the wedding of mutual friends last year.

2. A Long-Distance Affair

A native of Maine, Lauren currently resides in South Carolina. Javi, of course, is based in Delaware. The distance was one of the causes of the couple’s first split, but it seems there were several other factors, as well.

3. The Harsh Glare of the Spotlight

Apparently, Lauren isn’t completely thrilled with the secondhand fame that comes with dating a famous reality star.

4. No Fan of Fame

“I’m learning not everyone wants the attention,” Marroquin said when he and Lauren broke up last year. “Dating someone on a TV show is tough. I think Lauren had a hard time adjusting to that and I had a hard time understanding that.”

5. A Lesson In Empathy

“It was a lot for her and we couldn’t fix it,” he went on. “I learned for my next relationship that I have to put myself in the other person’s shoes.”

6. Briana Drama

That “next relationship” came quickly, as Javi confirmed he was dating Briana DeJesus just one month after breaking up with Lauren. But that romance turned out to be one of Javi’s most tumultuous yet…

Let's just say Arie and Lauren are up against major obstacles (namely his inability to know what he wants), and the odds aren't great.

That's probably putting it generously. The odds are poor. Check out the full Bachelor relationship rankings by length and see how poor …

1. Brad Womack

Brad Womack, in the first of his two stints as The Bachelor, takes the cake by not choosing to propose to, or even continue his relationship with, either of the final two women, Jenni Croft or DeAnna Pappas (pictured). Wow.

2. Arie Luyendyk Jr.

Well, at least Arie Luyendyk Jr. beat Brad by choosing someone at all. He dumped Becca Kufrin in a matter of weeks, though he turned around and got engaged to someone else from the show before the After the Final Rose special ended, so we suppose we’ll measure his romance with Lauren Burnham (pictured) instead. How long do you think they’ll last?

3. Brad Womack (Take 2)

In his second stint as The Bachelor, Brad Womack was briefly engaged to Emily Maynard. That ended pretty quickly, as she was single again in a couple of months.

4. Travis Stork

Dr. Travis Stork and Sara Stone were broken up so fast, they got to talk about it on the After the Final Rose special.

5. Jesse Palmer

Jesse Palmer, former NFL quarterback and current sports TV analyst, did not propose to Jessica Bowlin. They continued to date but broke up just weeks later.

Last week, the world learned that Farrah Abraham is dating Aden Stay, a 40-year-old stuntman who has apparently grown weary of explosions and car wrecks, and is now looking for a truly dangerous challenge.

Ya know, like dating Farrah Abraham.

Thus far, it seems like the relationship is going relatively smoothly.

Farrah and Aden have posted pics of their date nights, and the photographic evidence that she has yet to claw his eyes out indicates that this might be Farrah’s healthiest relationship yet.

But not everyone is convinced that Abraham has finally found Mr. Right.

As you may recall, Simon Saran dated Farrah for a surprisingly long period of time, and despite the combative nature of their relationship, Simon and Farrah remained friends.

The only thing Simon does better than make poor romantic choices is talk major amounts of trash, so it’s not surprising he has thoughts to share regarding Farrah’s new beau:

“Good for her,” Saran told The Ashley’s Reality Roundup in a recent interview.

“She needs an older man in her life. Plus she needs the financial support from him. Guys like that are more willing to give [that].”

Yes, he decided to go the passive-aggressive route this time, and he was pulling it off until he got a bit heavy-handed toward the end there.

Since Simon’s trash talk is the stuff of legend in the Teen Mom universe, we really expected more.

Not his best work, but with any luck, this will kick off another feud between Simon and Farrah, and we’ll get to see two masters of the all-caps hate tweet do their thing.

The last known interaction between Saran and Abraham took place in July of last year when the exes went at one another on Twitter.

Shortly thereafter, Farrah revealed that she’s no longer allowed to communicate with Simon by decree of her 9-year-old daughter:

“I’m not allowed to talk to him because Sophia doesn’t like him,” Farrah told E! News.

Something tells us she’ll be defying Sophia’s orders and throwing major shade at Simon in the very near future.

It’s pretty much impossible to miss this fact, as every word out of Scheana’s mouth has had something to do with Rob.

Yes, despite the fact that she was not yet divorced from Mike Shay at the time, Scheana fell head over heels for Rob over the summer.

Unfortunately, it seems like the attraction was primarily one-way.

While Scheana has spent much of the season gleefully describing Rob’s penis and television-mounting skills to her increasingly uninterested friends, Valletta has pretty much behaved like the human embodiment of the phrase “he’s just not that into you.”

This is the woman who rose to fame by banging a married Eddie Cibrian and then grinned her way through a disastrous, short-lived marriage, so it’s not like we’re used to seeing her in healthy relationships.

But even by her own manic standards, Scheana’s behavior has been absolutely bonkers this season.

Needless to say, fans have taken notice.

“Is it embarrassing for you to watch the show and see how pathetic you look chasing Rob and not even being with him anymore when you acted like you were married already?” wrote one user on Scheana’s Instagram page.

“This season is hard to watch. I’ve never seen someone come across so desperate and insecure. Honest to God I’ve never seen anything like it,” remarked a third.

The situation is made even more cringe-worthy by the fact Scheana and Rob broke up before the current season of Vanderpump even made it to air.

The 32-year-old former pop singer has been outspoken in her own defense, claiming that she’s simply a victim of bad editing.

Fans remain unconvinced because of course Scheana is defending herself.

So now Rob is speaking out on his ex’s behalf, and basically telling viewers to STFU:

“A lot of people are watching a TV show that was shot months ago, and TV shows are shot to create drama and intrigue. No one knows what happens behind closed doors and or when the cameras are off,” he tweeted this week.

It’s hard to think of a more self-defeating phenomenon than the weird habit reality stars have of informing the public that their popular reality show is total bullsh-t.

We know producers have gone to great lengths to convince us Rob is a Super-Successful Hollywood Guy, but really this is the only project he’s ever been involved with that people have actually seen.

If you don’t believe us, just check out his Wikipedia page.

Oh wait … you can’t because Famous Actor Man doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. In 2018.

Look, we’re sure Rob does alright for himself at … whatever it is he actually does for a living, but maybe he and Scheana should both pipe down and learn to shrug the hate off a bit.

Brody Jenner was gracious to a fault Friday, clearly wanting to re-set his relationship with the Kardashians and his half sister Kylie in particular. We got Brody at LAX and asked again about Kylie’s baby Stormi …. he still hasn’t seen her but…

Blake Griffin had a “toxic” relationship with several teammates on the Clippers — and things got so bad, Doc Rivers had to mediate disputes in private meetings, this according to Blake’s ex. TMZ Sports broke the story … Brynn Cameron is…

Kourtney Kardashian doesn’t have a new baby like most of her sisters, but she’s still rocking an ear-to-ear grin, courtesy of BF Younes Bendjima. They were giggling like a couple of school kids while juicing up Monday in West Hollywood. The…

Kourtney Kardashian doesn’t have a new baby like most of her sisters, but she’s still rocking an ear-to-ear grin, courtesy of BF Younes Bendjima. They were giggling like a couple of school kids while juicing up Monday in West Hollywood. The…

Fletcher Cox says his relationship with a married woman ain’t the result of some master seduction … but just some good ol’ fashioned mutual attraction between consenting adults. TMZ Sports broke the story … Cox — Eagles star DT — was sued by…

Fletcher Cox says his relationship with a married woman ain’t the result of some master seduction … but just some good ol’ fashioned mutual attraction between consenting adults. TMZ Sports broke the story … Cox — Eagles star DT — was sued by…