I have been playing fast and lose with my weight control plan the last few weeks. It would be very easy to blame it on the three weeks of steroids I have taken for my sinuses, but that isn't completely to blame. It is the same old thing I have read here before, failure to journal, failure to plan.

I am making a re-dedication tomorrow morning to my plan even though I know I am going on several short mini-trips with our show cattle. It is possible to eat out smart, I just haven't been doing it.

I am going back to my calorie counting and going to continue to weigh weekly at weight watchers for accountability, which is very important for me. I think point counting and calorie counting is probably fairly similar, yet the calorie counting seems easier for me to do.

I have been lurking here for awhile, reading everyone else's stresses and successes. I need to get here more often and post, because I find a definite relationship between coming here to post and staying on plan.

Way to go Girl
I have been struggling since May. I went to the Oprah web site. And Have been stuck on "either you get it or you don't" I am afraid that I really don't. Waht more do I need to get?I weigh 261# I wear a size 24, I have a fat roll in my lap and I have physical problems that are made worse by my weight. What's not to get?

But I'll tell you I don't see those issues when I talk myself out of exercising or into putting something in my mouth.

Pat, I also have read a lot of stuff by Dr. Phil, and his idea that I am fat because I want to be is where I am stuck.

I know that there is some truth there, but I can't find it. No, I don't want to be fat, but I am. I have looked deep inside myself for some deep seated psychological problem, but can find none. I have a great husband, wonderful daughter who's worst problem to date is that she doesn't like to empty the dishwasher (she is 16, I count myself fortunate). We have enough money to eat (obviously). I have a job I love. I think my main problem is that I LOVE food. I like to fix it, I like to eat in, eat out, etc.

I think the main issue I have to deal with is how to limit myself to things I love to eat and still stay around 1600-1800 calories. This is the amount my doctor recommends. I see other people do it and assume that I can as well.

Elaine, I think you are doing great! You are smart to find what is easiest for you to do! Everyone needs a plan that they can do well with. For me it is weighing food and amounts. I don't do as well wtih calorie or point counting. If calorie counting works for you do it! I think you sound like I did when I was finnally ready to lose! We all hit a point when we just know we can do it and are ready for the hard work! Trust me coming here will really help. Almost everyday I read soemthing I can relate to and it just keeps me going. It is a wonderful feeling to know I am not alone and others strugle just like I do. Good Luck!
Karen

I find that what 1fralick and teach93 say is just where I am. What part am I not "getting" to be motivated enough to lose, once and for all? I don't get the part I should be getting. LOL (That actually sounds pretty pathetic.)

I can site current health issues, family health histories, physical barriers, fashion barriers, "what-everyone-must-think" barriers, etc., etc., but nothing motivates me or inspires me to just DO IT. Maybe like Dr. Phil says, I'm overweight for a reason. Okay. I can accept that. Now, how do I find out what the reason is and how to fix it? I need more than opening a magazine that tells me to plant flowers to make me happy that day or to write in my journal what attracts me to pepperoni pizza. Bandaid fixes.

Hmmm... I've asked this question as well. Here are the answers I came up with for me... your mileage may vary.

1) I'm not getting it... because if I did it would mean a significant change to my lifestyle, which for all it's flab, is what I'm currently comfortable with.

2) I'm not getting it... because if I did, it would require a HUGE expenditure of energy on my part in order to change things. The problem with this is that I'm inherently lazy... and I've been taught that when I spend energy/time, it's to be on OTHER people, and not me.

3) I'm not getting it... because if I did, and I lost weight, I'd have to confront several demons currently lurking under excess poundage. I'm afraid of success... I'm afraid of what would happen to my relationships if all of a sudden I were thin.

4) I'm not getting it... because the grief is too much. The thought that I've been missing out on so much. If I "get it" then the grief hits...

Needless to say, with all of the above (and there's more, I know there's more) I can understand why I've not wanted to get it.

That said, I'm in a place now where I can take on some grief, and some guilt at spending that energy on myself... I'm in a place now where I'm secure in my relationships... and quite frankly, I'm beginning to look forward to that different lifestyle.

I'm starting to get it... and it's scary and overwhelming, but deep down, it's also exciting.

Yeah, I know it will feel good on one level to hear the affirmations, but from certain folks, the undertone (real or imagined) will be along the line of "it's 'bout time".

I don't want that. I also don't want people watching every single bite I put in my mouth. I'm in a pretty high-profile job, and spend a lot of time eating with others... right now, folks don't say a word.

So much of what you all say is true. I also have been in the situation where people who new I was trying to lose weight would watch every bite I ate. I have one person who at family dinners will give the WW point values of every food. Or someone will say, "Oh, I made WW food for you." Not only does that embarass me, it draws attention to me, something I definitely don't like.

I also can relate to still having issues in my life even if I were thin. At the age of almost 45 I seem to come from a generation (or maybe it is a local thing) where thin=happy, when I am thin I will automatically be happy. When I am thin there will be the same stresses I have now. I might look better while dealing with them!!! But they will still be there. A friend who had stomach stapling and lost 150 pounds recently made the comment that losing weight had been good for her health, but the rest of her life had not changed dramatically and she was almost disappointed. It is almost like we expect when we get thin to be recognized and crowned for our accomplishments, and some people will do that, while most will go on with the problems of their lives.

Judging from your posts, it sounds as though you are all like me. We may all be of different age groups, different areas and different backgrounds but once you take all that away, we're really all the same. We have face the same challenges and deal with the same issues.

As for "Getting It", I agree with everything Karen has said. Karen - I see myself in each of the statements you listed in your posts but would like to add the following:

I'm not "getting it" because ... if I did get it and made the necessary changes lose more weight and reach my goal, I would then have to start dealing with men "hitting" on me like they did when I was a teenager. I couldn't deal with that then and I'm not sure I could deal with it now. I'm comfortable with the idea that men don't find me sexually enticing (except my husband - although I still don't understand why he does).

That's a really, really big one for me.

I have been losing weight at a good, steady pace however, in the past couple of weeks, I've felt as though my resolve is slipping and my "bad" habits are creeping back.

That's another issue as well, although I think one of the reasons I feel I can do it this time, is that it is less of an issue now. (I'm older, I wear a clerical collar... something else to hide behind!)

I'm scared as well.. but the fright is tinged with excitement. Let's do it!!

I must say that I am getting alot out of this thread.
The point that I am not getting is (I think) that I am my number 1 priority, no matter what. The disappointing thing is I try and tell my substance abuse clients this all the time and yet I don't practice what I preach.
It takes alot of concentration, determination, dedication and action to accoplish this. I find that i am easily distracted from this. As well as I am also too worried about what my choices will bring about. such as people talking, judging,complaining, hurt by, failing etc.

The "rewards" I get from putting food in my mouth must pale against the "rewards" I will get from change. Which means I have to work at changing my thinking.

I have been in this funk since May and I too am scared that I won't make it back.

I want to welcome casey and diane I have enjoyed your posts and input.

Well at least I can take some comfort in realizing that i am not alone in my journey
PAT

I was recently told by a very good friend (one of the few that I would let tell me something like this) that I am afraid of being thin. At first, I said oh sure, ha. Then I really started to think about it. Could that be true? I know how to be fat. I have done it since 6th grade and I am almost 45 years old. Even with the teasing or sometimes downright nastiness that hurts my feelings, I still know how to be fat.

This leads me to the notion that maybe I am afraid that life as a thin person won't be as great as I want. HMMMM......

I have been reading a book called "Gentle Eating" that I picked up in a box lot of books off ebay. It stresses that making huge changes is not the way to lose weight. It sort of takes the crawl before you walk philosophy. One point is that if you are eating 3000 calories a day, going to 1200 overnight is not a smart thing to do because most of us aren't going to stick with it. That strikes a note with me because I tend to be an all or nothing person. In that light I am going to cut my calorie intake to around 1800 calories a day, maybe a few more or less as I feel like it. I have done this before, lost a pound or so a week consistently. Why did I quit? There are so many plans out there that trumpet themselves as being "the Plan" that I thought, could just counting calories be right, could it be enough?

Well, time to hop off my soapbox and get ready for the day. I hope everyone who posts or lurks on this thread has a wonderful day!!!!

Wow. I don't even know what to say after reading all of your posts....

Someone said it right...we all are different for many reasons..but we all have the same fears. Maybe for different reasons, but all in all, were scared.

I am very scared of being thin. I am scared of all of the attention I am getting. I am scared of never being happy with my body. I am scared of gaining it all back. I am scared that I will never get there. I am scared.

But it's not holding me back. I can no lnger let fear rule my life. Nomatter how scary this is.

As for others having an "impact" on us while we are on this journey..DO NOT discuss it with anyone who cannot or will not understand. I didn't tell a soul about my journey. Not even my husband. I didn't need nor want the extra pressure. I was doing it on my own..well, with the help of many many friends right here at 3FC..but it felt good. Nobody watched me eat or made comments. It was my secret. People didn't even start to notice till after about 20 lbs one. And then the comments came pouring in and it gave me so much inspiration. They made it a big deal, I did not. Then I started to not enjoy the comments. I didn't know how to take them. I was feeling pressured to lose more..like the world was watching..and then..I said whatever..am doing this for ME...only ME.
So, if anything...do yourself a favor..don't share this journey at the start with others in your life. Most people can't understand..and you don't need an audience.

1fralick..Take my hand...your coming out of that funk..your coming back into the groove of things. You deserve it..look in the mirror and remind yourself that YOU are beautiful and you deserve to feel good about your body. You can do this. One day at a time..1 lb at a time. That's all we can do.

I've gone both routes - from telling everyone including the letter carrier... to telling no one.

This time I've just told my spouse (and he knows enough not to say a WORD....lol... well-trained, and all!!)

My problem is that I know when I begin to lose, that folks will comment.

Okay, time for some honesty on my part. The people that I really don't want noticing/commenting are my parents, and more specifically my mother.

I've had such a history of food and control with her. It's been terrible - and it's only after some good therapy that I've come to realize just how much my eating is really about that relationship.

I've come to the realization that she only "approves" of me when I'm losing weight.... and I don't want to give her that control, so I don't.

I've finally come to the point of deciding that whether I lose/gain/remain the same... it has less to do with mom, and more to do with my own happiness. So.. the heck with it. I'm going to lose, and when I feel her "approval" I'll take it and move on.

:::laugh:::

Oh my, where did all of THAT come from? I'm going to send this to the board for two reasons... first, that it might help someone else, and secondly, so it will keep me honest.