My Life in an Interracial Marriage and Family ~ It's been 25 years of fun; learning, growing, laughing & crying with each other. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

UCSD Compton Themed Party...Stereotypes Hurt.....

One of the reasons we live where we do is because of the diversity. Being in an interracial marriage with a mixed race child makes you always think about things that couples in same race marriages and families don't have to think about. One of those things is where we live. Not that we can't live anywhere we want, but we wouldn't purposely choose to live somewhere that in general had a negative feeling about mixed race marriages or wasn't a diverse area. We want our daughter to grow up being exposed to all races and cultural traditions. That being said when I heard about the "Compton themed party" http://www.cbs8.com/Global/story.asp?S=12009416 at UCSD at first I thought this must be a mistake and the media was portraying it wrong. No way can there be a party that purposely mocks another race during the month we are all celebrating that race, especially in southern Cali (my very own "backyard") which in general is melting pot central. However, as the story unfolded I realized that, oh my gosh stereotyping and racism is alive and well at UCSD. So in a nutshell here is the story.....there was an invite sent out to a party off campus at UCSD in La Jolla, CA. The invite was to a "Compton themed" party that blatantly mocked Black History Month. See below for full invite......

Read The Invitation To The "Compton Cook Out," As Posted On Facebook:

"February marks a very important month in American society. No, i'm not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I'm talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes - they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red. They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as "constipulated", or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as "hmmg!", or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises, grunts, and faces. The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these "respectable" qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto. We will be serving 40's, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not. "

How is it that a generation of young kids living in Southern California or anywhere for that matter, could possibly think this was okay? Not cool, not funny, not cute, not right. Whatever happened to thinking before acting or speaking!? When will everyone learn that stereotyping just keeps racism alive and well and stereotypes hurt!!!

24 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Wow, I just visited the link you had listed in your blog. I read the article, and then many of the comments that followed. The inflammatory comments from everyone really show HOW VERY FAR WE HAVE YET TO GO in terms of race relations. I finally had to stop reading the comments, it was just too depressing and I felt I was wasting a good part of my Saturday afternoon reading so much hate. I wish I could believe we'd see an end to all of this in our lifetimes, but it just seems like such a faraway dream. I'll keep doing my part though,to educate people out of their ignorance, just like I know you will, Amy. Even if we can only change a few minds along the way, its better than nothing. You might be interested in checking out the Southern Poverty Law Center's website. www.splcenter.org They do great work to educate about diversity and fight hate groups. Looking at their site really gives you a realistic picture of where we are as a country on the race issue. There are so many pockets of hate, so many hate groups still operating, and so many hate crimes still going unpunished. Yet, I still believe we are so much better off than we were in the days of the Civil Rights movement. We have come a long way, but we still have such a long way to go. It's up to those of us who see things differently to always speak up and stand up for what's right. Silence can never be an option.-Heather in Missouri

Stuff like this makes me wary of people and their apparently automatic connection of "race" to a "social class"

I wonder... Is it, indeed, that those kids have to learn to think before they act, or is there something deeper, more sinister, going on?

Just this evening I was talking to my BFF and asked her if she'd ever been approached in a way that felt racist. She couldn't think of many occasions. She only said that because she is a woman, some people tend to take her less serious than some guy with the same qualifications, and that she knows her skintone has nothing to do with it.

Then I went on asking if she'd ever felt insulted by some jokes about africans. Then she said something that made me go "HUH?" She stated:" I am Dutch, I define myself as Dutch, not as "African-Dutch" or African- Black-Dutch", I am NOT from Africa, so, I feel no true indignation when Africans are mocked in one way or another, I'll only say something about it because I consider it rude to mock anyone and I can Imagine that some people of African-descent could feel insulted..." That really made my head spin. Her identity is obviously so stable that she doesn't feel the need to feel insulted I guess....

We have our "ghetto" types overhere,(read: low income, limited education, although "low income" is relative, social security is about $2040,- for a family of four for as long as the breadwinner is out of a job. And about $120 more, per kid a month extra ) but that's a mixture of about every hue imaginable. The "American" Ghetto-black is only emulated by some gangsta-rap wanna-be's (Spoilt Black and white(!) kids that never ever knew poverty and violence as in some parts of LA, like f.i. parts of Inglewood, or West) Kids, that think being a member of a gang is "cool". They probably pee their pants when in the really nasty bits of f.i. Detroit.

It sounds a lot like bragging, but The Netherlands and it's inhabitants are so filthy rich compared to large parts of the world, that a Ghetto, sprouting from poverty, is just not possible here, whatever cantacarous whiners say. The only "Ghetto's" we have are basically the neighborhoods where a lot of Arab immigrants live, by choice, and they are quite rich compared to poor neighborhoods like I saw f.i. in Bristol (GB)

So, IMHO those wanna be's DO make a mockery of a certain "American social class" that lives in abismal poverty, but they do that, with a totally different, utterly mistaken, idea behind it :It's cool to be "Ghetto", something to aspire to (oddly enough)

I try not to read the comments that follow these types of stories because they just make me sick to my stomach. We do have a very long way to go but as you said we have also come a very long way. Remember back in the the Loving Day era my husband and I could not have been married! If we keep an open dialogue and always stand up for what we believe in things will get better and better. Hate unfortunately will always be out there but like you said in your comment...one person at a time. One person at a time. Thank you for the link I will check it out. Have a beautiful Sunday and remember if you are living your life in love and always sharing that love it will spread and you WILL make a difference!

You are so right on the social class aspect and the reference to, it's "cool to be ghetto." The kids that are going to school in La Jolla at UCSD have NOOOOO concept of what it is like to live in a ghetto and grow up wanting each month just for the basics. No clue! They don't realize that their comments regarding cheap clothes, limited vocabulary and so on are not cute at all because the "cheap" clothes come out of neccesity and the limited vocabulary comes out of an education system that does not put importance on the schools in the ghetto. They have no idea!! You are also right that if they actually ran into a gang member with those "chains, and cheap clothes, etc etc they would pee their pants and run for lives! What they need to do is move into the ghetto for a year or so and then come back and tell us how "funny" their Compton party really is. So even though it is a class distinction it is still hurting a race of people and it needs to end.

By the way $2040 for Social Sec?!! I'm moving to your neighborhood! LOL!!! I hope all is well in "your neck of the woods." Great to hear from you again.

Yes, €1500,- and a bit for a family of four!. excluding sc. Kinder-Bijslag(childrens Assistance fund)and rent-costs return. EVERYBODY that has children, gets something extra per child till the child is 18.

Be forwarned though, however great it may sound, If an American would move here, he would be aghast at the amount of taxes we, working peeps, pay. I am in the 36%tax- middle-income class(I make about $50000,- ex. tax, after tax i'll keep about $30000,-. Our groceries have 19%VAT, petrol is $8 a gallon. County tax is another $1000, - a year.Housing is about 1,3 times more expensive per square foot than in the states, as is energy and telephony, broadband etc etc.

...sooo..You are ofcourse welcome :lol: but take a deep breath when filing income tax-papers, or You'll end up having serious palpatations!!

Stuff is expensive here!

On the other hand, healthcare costs me just $200,- a month for full coverage(including dentist!) and IF i lost my job, I would get 70% of my last paycheck for another 12 months. AND I would drop to a much lower tax-scale. Pretty nifty huh?

All in all this fairly balanced re-distrubution of wealth prevents real poverty. Even peeps that ended with bad loans can count on the government to lend a helping hand.

(And having VERY strict gun-laws helps in the anti-violence department: owning a gun without a licence AND a ratified shooting-club membership will get You 15 years in prison!)

I think the costs are always built in somewhere. In your case it's taxes in our case it's insurance. We pay 20-30% income tax depending on what source the income is from. Our sales tax here in Cali is 8.75%. Our houses are ridiculous expensive and property taxes are crazy too. But insurance if you can afford it, just goes higher and higher. So many people here don't even have it which is a travesty! My husband and I have "great" insurance but can barely afford to use it. Between copays, deductibles and premiums it's ridiculous! That is going to change soon hopefully. Americans seriously need to be out of the box when it comes to thinking about healthcare. It's an ongoing argument here.

Don't get me started on the gun laws. You can pretty much buy them on the corner. That NEEDS to change! My family has been devastated by guns. I don't believe anyone needs them unless they are law enforcement or military, and maybe hunters during certain seasons.

Wow, LOVED the article!! So many points that we as Americans should listen to, look into, and think about implementing. The last quote in the article said it all!

"America is the land of the free. But I think we are freer.”

I have ALWAYS said that I love the way of thinking that Europeans have about living vs. working. Americans live to work, Europeans work to live. Very very different mindset. When I was going to school in Paris I embraced the lifestyle and mentally never let it go. Unfortunately that is not the way it works here. I just had this conversation with my boss. He wanted me to work on a weekend and on a holiday! I don't do either. I just won't give up my life for my job. Family first always. I love my country but I also love other countries that I have lived in or visited. They all have good points and Americans sometimes tend to forget that and think our way or the highway. We can all learn from each other if we just realized that once in a while.

Thank you so much for sharing the article! It had so many wonderful points!

Amy, on the risk of sounding ignorant, but I am always mystified when seeing the words "deductibles" and "co-pays" In every talk I have with American people .What are they? Could You please explain? Some sort of "owners risk"? I mean this: Is it like You'll get nothing back from the insurer that's under a certain amount. I.E. If a consult with a dentist costs,say, $130,- You'll always have to pay out of Your own pocket. Anything above that amount WILL be re-imbursed by Your insurer??

Just read(WAPO&NYT) that Obama is going to try a last push for Fair healthcare for The majority of Americans, and already the truly, hateful, vile, mysochinistic and cowardly ad-hominem attacks FLOOD the newspaper's comment pages.. How RUDE! It makes me, coming from a society of consensus-humanists, very sad that the party that ALWAYS preaches about God, The Bible, Jesus' Love, acts the most un-Christian and in-considerate to the most vulnerable of people in Your society(They are not the only ones though). I am a fervent Atheist, but I ABSOLUTELY, totally, UNEQUIVOCALLY DO underscribe the message of love, respect & understanding from that "hippy" called Jesus..

Has it become so totally impossible, polarized as politics have become, manipulated as good people have become, thanks to "The Party of NO", to have a polite discours about something THAT important???

I won't be praying (I do not do that sort of thing), but I will be , what we call, "thumbing" and rooting for Americans.

There MUST be a "polder" in-between solution, there MUST be.

Greets to Hubby and gorgeous daughter(On a lighter note: Do You already have to shoo away many boys from around your home? We had, when my Sis suddenly became quite attractive at 15/16 You should have seen the righteous indignation on my Dad's face..heheheh.. My Mom just laughed..),

It's confusing I know! It's basically a way for insurance companies to continue making money while telling us what great insurance we have even though we can all barely afford to use it! It goes like this:

Premiums: Monthly amount taken out of your paycheck to pay for your insurance service. Oh but wait there's more!

Deductibles: Amount you have to pay out of pocket before your insurance pays a dime. Each person in the family has an annual deductible. Mine is 750.00!!! That is on top of the monthly premium which is almost 400/mo. Oh there's still more...

Copays: Each time you go to the doc you have to pay a copay depending on the type of doc. If it's your primary doc this can range from 20.00-45.00 per visit. If it's a specialist even more. It it's the emergency room this can range from 50.00-250.00 depending on type of insurance. I'm not done yet....

Percentage covered: Most insurance coverage only covers a percent of the service. So if you have surgery insurance pays 70 to 80% and we pay 20 to 30%.

So there ya go! In other words don't get sick and use the insurance you pay all those premiums to each month because if you do, you just end up broke!

Wow. I appreciate your opinion and comment but I wouldn't go there. White trailer trash is just another stereotype. Stereotypes don't do anyone any good. The kids at UCSD are highly educated so I wouldn't even go there at all. A select few made a really bad error in judgement and hopefully this situation will open some eyes on campus for people to be more thoughtful about others around them. Just my opinion. Thanks again for your comment!

Yes extortion would be a good word! You think twice about using insurance here. Sad but true. Remember that 750.00 doesn't include the premiums every month, the copay for each visit and the percentage for the procedure. Crazy huh!

In regards to stereotyping it definitely hits both sides. The stereotypes that were presumed about my husband and I were ridiculous. Then people got to know us as a couple and thought wow these two are great together! You never know until you get to know! In the case at UCSD it shows that education doesn't always mean ignorance free. Sadly.

You real can’t take these uneducated UCSD white trailer trash anywhere. This is what happens when more than one of these guys puts their minds together.

Oh, where exactly was a speech going on? Thats right, no where, but keep plucking that chicken.

Or as Carri said "It’s a plot by the fundamentalist rightwing party of tyranny called Republicans. They foment hate, they sneer, they make excuses for their behavior and blame everyone else. They advocate the supremacy of their America – a lily-white America. They are scared and frightened becuase (gasp) a black man has been elected to the White House. They are losing conrol and like cornered animals, they are lashing out. This is the national leadership from whom these studants take their cues."

I will tell you what I have seen these last few days, I saw people from different backgrounds, my children, my brothers and sisters come together in solidarity, and got the message heard.

This reminds me of a parable from the good book where a Levite and Priest come upon a man who fell among thieves and they both individually passed by and didn't stop to help him. Finally a man of another race came by, he got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy and got down with the injured man, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, this was the great man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother.

You see, the Levite and the Priest were afraid, they asked themselves, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"

But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"

That's the question before us. The question is not, "If I stop to help my brother in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help my brother, what will happen to him or her?" That's the question.

God bless all my brothers and sister that stood side by side with our brothers and sisters in need, when you saw a wrong you tried to correct it, you may argue the methods but not the reasons. I know God will not discriminate by country of origin, our sex, our orientation, color of our skin, or our religion as men do.

"Keep plucking that chicken" hmmmm not sure where you are going with that one? The bottom line is whether you are Republican or Democrat, Black or White, educated or non educated it's just about being respectful to each other and each others cultures. Stereotyping keeps the snowball of hate and racism going and going. It has to end at some point and it's not rocket science, everyone just needs to think before they speak or act period.

Thank you so much for your comment. You could not have said it better. When a wrong is committed it's about learning from it, moving forward from it, forgiving it, and teaching others never to do it again. When something like this occurs it IS all about coming together and supporting each other. The initial hurtful action then turns into a learning lesson for growth and a better future. Thank you for reading and for commenting. Love your inspiration.

Why don't they hold their party IN Compton and see how many laughs they get?I bought my Jeep from a black man from Orange County but it was parked in Watts at his mom's house. Even he was cautious and was looking out for my safety in the neighborhood. His mother wouldn't even answer the door so he had to call her on the phone to bring him the keys at the door. When we went to get gas on the test drive, he pumped the gas. Me, being totally clueless got out and stood there and chatted with him. I could see in his face he most likely thought I should go sit in the car. It was an experience for me and I would encourage these idiot students to go flaunt their "whiteness" outside of their realm of comfort.

It has only gotten worse at UCSD because of this Compton Party. Did you see on the news the other day that someone hung a noose in the library? This is the snowball affect I mentioned in an earlier comment. Something that started out as "funny" without thought to the end result turns into more and more hate. Ignorance at it's best or in this case worst. Stereotyping will always end up hurting.

I did see the noose prank. I said to my son that there must be some students from Santee or Lakeside attending UCSD. It was a girl that did it...what girl knows how to tie a noose? Maybe someone that has horses?? Just thinking...Anywho, it is crazy and especially crazy at a university in La Jolla!Seems everyone from John Mayer on down thinks they can be offensive.

The madness and ignorance continues. The most recent "prank" was a KKK hood on the Dr. Seuss statue. How horrible is that?! If any of these kids had ever experienced the true meaning of a noose or a hood personally or historically with a family member...my God, I think they would think twice about this. Horrible, horrible history with both symbols and terrible racism in present day. It's a sad day and a damn shame when "educated" modern kids act this way. Makes me sad and sick at the same time. It is so hurtful. It needs to end.

I wanted you to know that mid-Missouri had our own hate crime incident at our largest university in the state, University of Missouri at Columbia. I live about 30 minutes away from this university. Two students scattered cotton balls in front of the black cultural center on campus the last week of February. The fact that these kids are doing these things during February, Black History Month, make them that much more disgraceful. I have copied a couple of links for you about the story. It really is sad that this new generation of young people can't do any better than that. They are our future and it sure doesn't make the future look promising.