Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today you are two, Luca-Bug. I never knew that two could feel like such a big number - so old. It's cliche to say, but I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. It was a cool, cloudy fall day - and I thought it couldn't be more beautiful because I was thrilled you were finally going to be born. There had been lots of waiting - lots of walking around with Mama to try and get you to come into the world, and none of it worked. Not even seeing David Sedaris and laughing that hard could cause Mama to go into full labor. He signed a book for you - and when you're older, I hope you read it and enjoy it as much as I have. It's a funny book.

But back to the story of you. Mama was in labor at the hospital on the 13th of October - which happens to be the birthday of my best friend since kindergarten, Sarah Lynn. I didn't know how I felt about you sharing her birthday - but I know she's been such an angel in my life, it must be a good sign if the 13th was to be your birthday. You were born after midnight that night, so you are a 14th of October baby. And Luca-Bean, the 14th is a great day too. You have become an angel in my life. I can't tell you the number of ways my life has improved since you were born. Mainly, there are more giggles, hugs, kisses, and silliness. And I love being silly.

I can't imagine what the last two years would have been like without you. You

make me laugh harder and with such pure joy. I have taken hundreds of photos of you - I'm afraid I'll forget what you were like at each age. You have grown and changed so fast!

I wanted to do something really special for your birthday, but there is nothing I could do that would come anywhere near being as precious as what your mama did. You can see it at http://kyrachris.com - search for montage, I think. Luca, I cried watching this montage. Many of the photos are ones I took - like the first photo of you where Baba is holding you. And at the park with Mama. And the second to last photo was taken at my One Year IV Free Party. Hopefully you'll never have to know how sick Auntie Carla was or why that party was so important. Hopefully, there will be many more IV Free years!

The song Mama used in the montage was a song I put on the Lullaby CD I made for you - one of 10 CDs I made for your 1st Christmas. I want you to love music. I want you to be passionate about dance. Most of all u want you to be happy. So don't worry about what I want you to be - be whoever you want to be.

Always know that I am here for you, Bean. You can tell me anything. I'll help you through anything.

"I'll love you forever and always because you are my Dear One." - Barbara M. Joosse

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This Is Me

I am a girl in my 20s who loves to dance. I have cystic fibrosis - a genetic disorder affecting the lungs and digestion. The average lifespan is 37 years and there is no cure. In addition to my CF, I am diabetic and have muscle problems. And completely unrelated to my CF is my PTSD and anxiety. This is the tale of me learning to live with my diseases and my day to day progress.