27 December 2005

Welcome Back to Reality

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas or is having a Happy Hanukkah. In case you think the Government of Israel shuts down every time we have an 8-day holiday, think again. Over at Israpundit you can find that the Israeli government, much like every other one in the world, waits to break the important news when they think no one is looking. Obviously, they know not the power of the blogosphere.

The foreign minister refused to elaborate on what he called "painful concessions" in a potential settlement with the Palesinians, but added, "it is certain that we won't take an extreme route that that says 'no' to every proposal meant to promote peace."

Right. So what can a good Israeli do? Truthfully, as much as I'd hate to see it happen, these "painful concessions" sought out by every single major party running in the elections are going to push the Israeli people farther to either the left or the right. Given the pain and psychological trauma of the recent "Disengagement" I can only think that the majority of Israelis will choose the path of less concessions than more-- but maybe I'm wrong. Never having lived in Israel, I couldn't really say. Will it take a miracle of HaShem for the Jewish people in Israel and around the world to wake up, en masse, and defend our right to live in the land of Israel in peace? History says yes. History also says that most of the Jewish people will quickly forget that it was HaShem who saved us yet again, and more extremes will ensue. Oh Moshiach, where are You?

Speaking of defending ourselves, Israpundit also posts that Iran has already planned what they'll do with their nuclear toys:

"We have a strategy drawn up for the destruction of Anglo-Saxon civilization... we must make use of everything we have at hand to strike at this front by means of our suicide operations or by means of our missiles. There are 29 sensitive sites in the U.S. and in the West. We have already spied on these sites and we know how we are going to attack them."

"In the end, the brunt of the evidence was that the Chinese had obtained more American military secrets over the past two decades than had all the previous spies in American history put together. They had basic information on all nuclear weapons systems, they got our most advanced supercomputers, they gained extraordinarily important information about satellite systems. Some of this knowledge they used for themselves; some they retrofitted and repackaged and sold to other countries like Iraq, where it was used against our own fighter planes."

Are we going to kid ourselves and think that those weapons and that knowledge died along with Saddam's regime? I don't think so.

That FBI Library-record hijacking story I wrote about in the longest post ever last week turned out to be a hoax [Hat tip, LGF]. Big surprise there. The best parts of the story:

"The 22-year-old student tearfully admitted he made the story up to his history professor, Dr. Brian Glyn Williams, and his parents, after being confronted with the inconsistencies in his account."

22? The guy was 22? I thought it was some pathetic freshman, but 22? HA! This kid is an even bigger loser than I originally thought! HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

"But when Dr. Williams went to the student's home yesterday and relayed that part of the story to his parents, it was the first time they had heard it. The story began to unravel, and the student, faced with the truth, broke down and cried."

Hahahhaahaha. "Young man, you are going to bed without your supper! Your mother and I are so very angry at you!! That's it, time out for the rest of the evening!"

" His basic tale remained the same: The book was on a government watch list, and his loan request had triggered a visit from an agent who was seeking to "tame" reading of particular books. He said he saw a long list of such books."

Among the other books on the "To Be Tamed" list:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The original script for "Brokeback Mountain"

Anything with the "Oprah Book Club" seal

"He revealed the agents' names: one was Nicolai Brushaev or Broshaev, and the other was simply Agent Roberts. He said they were dressed in black suits with thin black ties, 'just like the guys in Men in Black.'"

Proving once again that America's students do not gain half as much knowledge from the classroom as they do from the MSM. "Huh, wha? Yeah, the dude's name was uh... Nikolai Kruschev- no, Bruschetta-- no Brushev. Yeah, that's it. And they were wearing black suits and stuff, like in the movies. Then, after they told me not to read Mao, they took out these pens and zapped me, and now I don't remember a thing."

"The tale involved his twin brother, who allegedly requested the book for him at UMass Amherst; his uncle, a former FBI attorney who took care of all the paperwork; and his parents, who signed those confidentiality agreements."

Actually, he had taken the plot from a script he wrote years ago, titled "Agent Michael Scarn UNDERCOVER Saving the Planet from the Men in Black".

" But by now, the story had too many holes."

Excuse me, they're known as "plot twists."

" He said he met a former professor at the mysterious Homeland Security building who had requested a book on bomb-making, along with two Ph.D. students and a one pursuing a master's degree who had also been stopped from accessing books. The student couldn't remember their names, but the former professor had appeared on the Bill O'Reilly show on Fox News recently, he said."

That's it, get Bill O'Reilly in on this now. It wasn't enough to drag your parents, brother, and uncle into the mess, you had to drag the biggest in-your-face blowhard in television into your "my dog ate my homework" tale. Fantastic. I smell a fresh Most Ridiculous Item of the Day here. Wow. Seriously. You're going to be ripped to shreds on television, in the press, and in his next five books. SUCKA!

One professor's comment is priceless:

"It was a disastrous thing for him to do. He needs attention, he needs care. I feel for the kid. We have great concern for this student's health and welfare."

Here's the best thing you can do to help the student's health and welfare: Teach him what he'll really need to know, how to say "Regular or unleaded?" and boot his lying butt out the door. If you're really that worried about his health and welfare, you can add the phrase "Would you like to Biggie-size that?" to his repertoire along with the infamous hawker cat-call "Fie-dolla fie-dolla fie-dolla!"

"Dr. Williams said the whole affair has had one bright point: The question of whether it is safe for students to do research has been answered. 'I can now tell my students that it is safe to do research without being monitored," he said. 'With that hanging in the air like before, I couldn't say that to them.'"

No, you libs, fear! Fear that your library records are going to get you thrown into the gulag! Actually, judging by the way some of you keep your houses 'round where I live, you'd probably prefer prison to the slagheaps you call home. "Don't go to the library, because the government is going to send agents to your house and arrest you for reading!!!" Yes, that's right-- so stop reading your George Soros, your Noam Chomsky, your Maureen O'Dowd. In fact, flush them down the toilets in acts of protest!! (Really, go on, I dare ya.) Let your righteous indignation fuel those bonfires you vain, pretentious asses! Move to where you can read freely, without government eyes watching your every move-- to France, to Russia, to China! Go!! Fly away!!!