Got that off of a website-- but really more than half of the songs were new and I haven't heard the new album in its entirety yet, so a lot of it was a dive into the industrial computer age brass orchestra ambience of unknown bjork. The outfit? Spectacularly ugly and weird, as anticipated (it looked like a one big iridescent ruffle). The band she was with? Nearly as unique as she is. The stage? The design was unpleasantly assymetrical with flags hanging at random places on the stage (maybe for her song, Declare Independence) with big television screens so you could watch the jestsons-era dj work his magic. The total effect? An awesomely amazing concert that took you down and brought you up and ended in an unexpectedly huge dance party. Bjork is kind of raw and in your face yet sweet and sensual at the same time. And she's the cutest darn alien you've ever seen. I don't think there is any one on the planet who can compete with bjork's cool. It's just not possible.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Really, I feel like air from a factory stack was pumped into my lungs and then I was hit by a train. I'm sweating and I'm freezing. I can barely get out of my bed to use the bathroom. I think my throat was actually bleeding this morning from all of my coughing (but I didn't examine it, it just tasted like blood in my mouth). And there is no food and not much drinkable water in my house... WAAHH! I'm so thirsty!

It used to be if I got sick in Korea that there were people to take care of me. In Suwon a group of gals complete with its own motherly hen would look after any mangled party, and after Suwon, there was Masum. He would call me like a 100 times a day, bring me Indian food, give me massages and make sure I wasn't alone for too long. And now I just feel sick and lonely and a little helpless. I'm not sure that anyone would notice if I didn't emerge from my apartment for the next three days. Or the next three months for that matter. Well, I guess my school would be concerned if I didn't show up for work. It just feels so lonely. And so sick. WAAAHHHHHHHH! I want Masum! WAH! I want to go home! WAH! I want someone to bring me some food and water! WAH! This sucks.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I spent yesterday evening with one of my favorite people in Korea, my good friend and former roomate, Kang Yong. No matter what is going on in my life, Kang Yong can always get a smile out of me and yesterday was no exception. His humor is subtle and he actually speaks quietly and not all that often, but he has a way of making me think. And here are some of the things I realized when I hung out with him yesterday:

*Going home does make me feel anxious. Because even though I'm excited about being in Vermont, it seems like it's going to be a hard place to live. How can I make enough money to stay there? (or what if I can't make enough money to get out again?) What if I can't afford health insurance? What happens if I get sick or hurt? While those things didn't concern me all that much 10 years ago, they are very important to me now. Living and working in the United States kind of represents for me a return to financial instability and insecurity.

*BUT I am American, and I'm a native English speaker, which basically means that I have the freedom to go just about anywhere and get a job. And make a decent amount of money while I'm at it. And what that means is that I am already thinking about where I can go next. It's not as though I already have a plan in my head, it's just that I have trouble picturing myself in Vermont past late fall. For one thing, I hate winter there and for another if I have a farm job, it means I'll be unemployed again. God, unemployed. Again. I'm so sick of uttering those words.

i am

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