Saturday, January 21, 2012

In 8th Grade, I Wrote a Story About My Favorite Game...

I am a pack rat. I save everything that seems to have any value and have a tough time throwing anything away if it seems like it might have some value in the future. I'm almost a hoarder, really. That might sound like a bit of an exaggeration, and it probably is. But seriously, I keep some of the weirdest things: notes from middle school boyfriends, old movie tickets, and of course, old snippets of writing.

I've wanted to be a writer since about the age of 6. I'm not joking here; this has literally been a dream of mine almost for as long as you can remember (considering children do not start forming concrete memories until about the ages of 3-4). In other words, my recent publishings are not just the result of, "Hey! I think it would be fun to write a book!" Nope. More like, "Hey, let's realize a lifelong dream here."

But, with all good writing comes about 1000x more bad writing. We all have to start somewhere, right? Well, tonight, I stumbled upon this gem. I even read it out loud to my boyfriend, and while doing so, I was pretty much in hysterics, because the whole thing was so stupidly funny. It probably did not help that I pictured the video below, as well:

So yeah, picture that (minus the shoving the remote up the anus), remember that I wrote this quite a few years ago, and hopefully, laugh about as hard as I did:

Kirby vs. The Free Noobs (Circa ~2005).

No! It can't be!! I cringed at the thought,
grabbed my head and ran up the stairs. I couldn't handle the idea! I tried to
escape, but something was holding me back. I struggled for air, I couldn't
breath. I could hear the sick sound of my own wheezing "Huuuuuh...huuuuuuh..."
The lack of oxygen got to my brain, and I felt numb all over. I felt my body
collapse. I can't believe this is happening!!

Ok, so it wasn't nearly that bad. But it was bad, just the thought. Decieved,
not by a friend who wanted to take a screeny with my hard earned stuff only to
run away. Not even an ameture scammer who switched the coins at the last second
of *************, decieved by my own parents. "We're cancelling your
membership this month." Were their exact words.

"BUT WHY?!" I shouted.

"Well, your going to be gone for a week anyways, and you play that game
too much anyways."

"But..do you know what can HAPPEN in three weeks?! They might release a
white dragon or something!! Or a new skill!! I can't believe your doing
this!!" I wanted to rip out my hair and scream. Even though new skills
weren't due until July, I was devistated. A whole month without runescape. MY
parents had hacked me of my favorite hobby.