2) "Steaks too hard to cut nowadays? Introducing the all-new Ginsu Nose-Slicer. After this minor surgical adjustment, place these blades in your nose and lean you head down to your steak. Wave a flower in front of your nose...SNEEZE! and Wah-lah! Steak cut paper-thin!! Now available for $39.99 at your local surgeon's office!"

3rd Place and winner of the Billy Mays Memorial Trophy for the most elaborate infomercial-style caption, Blurf with:

"Steaks too hard to cut nowadays? Introducing the all-new Ginsu Nose-Slicer. After this minor surgical adjustment, place these blades in your nose and lean you head down to your steak. Wave a flower in front of your nose...SNEEZE! and Wah-lah! Steak cut paper-thin!! Now available for $39.99 at your local surgeon's office!"

2nd Place and winner of the Wes Craven Award for gratuitous reference to mutilation above and beyond the disturbingly obvious, Soft_Spirit with:

Piercing Schmiercing. Wanna see my amputations?

1st Place and winner of the l33t award for best reference to a great site for worthless Bags-O-Crap, SkilDude with:

I bet even Woot.com couldn't sell that knife holder

Take it away Skildude!

PM Sent"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell

After obtaining a bootleg copy of the entire Star Trek series, Madrassas in Afghanistan begin using the "Vulcan Mind Meld" to indoctrinate new Jihadi recruits..."People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell