I believe your Cowboys are the first NFL team ever to earn “excessive celebration’’ penalties in consecutive games. There is a “look-at-me’’ arrogance to such a feat, I think.

Now we have coach Wade Phillips’ response:

"We're going by the college rule (from now on)," coach Phillips says. "That's it. Our celebration needs to be after the game, winning the game."

“The college rule’’ will essentially dictate that Cowboys TD scorers simply hand the ball to the ref. No “look-at-me’’ celebration of any kind.

How comical. ... right down there with Dallas' 1-4 record, a record that reminds us again of the care that must be taken in football betting.

But the impotent Wade must do something different. As the Star-Telegram points out, the Cowboys now have 49 penalties for 404 yards. That puts them on pace for 157 penalties and 1,293 penalty yards – which wouldrank second in NFL history in both categories.

Cowboys players, incapable of disciplining themselves like 30-year-old men, will now be governed by rules meant for 18-year-old boys.

Another swift kick for the Cowboys’ end-zone foolishness: The offender in Minnesota was receiver Sam Hurd.

Did he score? Of course not.

But Sam was part of a “prolonged or choreographed celebration’’ when he joined UT-ex Roy Williams (and I think, others) in flashing “Hook 'em Horns’’ hand signs.

Hey, what’s wrong with school pride? Well, among other things, Sam Hurd didn’t go to the University of Texas. He is from San Antonio, but he played football at Northern Illinois University … thus making him one of our proud state’s army of fake Longhorns.

This week, the world learned that NBA legend Magic Johnson is selling his minority share of the LA Lakers. And there was a mad rush to figure out his motivation for the transaction. Was he transitioning towards a majority ownership position with another NBA franchise? The timing raised eyebrows since his hometown Pistons are looking for a buyer. Or does he have a personal financial crisis? Medical issues?

What's going on?
Guided by David Lord of DallasBasketball.com, here's the (very) educated guess regarding one of the most insightful “basketball’’ moves Magic could possibly make.

For some teams, it will be about topping “Miami Thrice’’ on a given night. For other teams, it will be about outlasting the Heat in an Eastern Conference playoff series. And of course, for the defending champion L.A. Lakers – remember them? – it’ll be about outdueling LeBron/Wade/Bosh in the NBA Finals.

Without having even played a game, the 2010-11 Miami Heat is being discussed in “best-ever’’ terms. That means, in part, that some think they have a shot at topping the 72-win mark, the NBA regular-season record held by the 1995-96 Bulls.

Some reality from LeBron James, who understands that Miami will need to accomplish some leapfrogging as this year wears on.

“Boston, Orlando and the Lakers are going to be ahead of us,” LeBron James says of the season’s beginning, in acknowledgement of the newness of Miami’s lineup and Wade’s preseason injury. “We’re a little behind those teams.”

“This is where my heart was,’’ Dirk Nowitzki said at the Mavs Media Day on Monday. “It wouldn’t have felt right to put another uniform on.”

Monday marked the beginning of a new season. But the story of the day, really, was catching up with The UberMan to first get his thoughts on his summer … and then, because he is the leader here, to get his thoughts on his team and his teammates.

*Starting 0-2 cannot be justification for panic in the streets unless starting 2-0 is justification for a parade down those same streets. And Tampa Bay, Chicago and Kansa City are among the 2-0’s. Which one of those clubs do you think is Super Bowl-bound?

*There are rumors that Miles Austin’s main squeeze, Kim Kardashian, is now squeezing on R&B star Chris Brown. So there goes that big-bootied “distraction.’’ (Maybe Kim doesn’t like 0-2, either?)