Amy Schumer Shamed By Tabloid For Unthinkable Act Of Eating A Sandwich

Thanks but no thanks, sandwich police.

Human woman Amy Schumer engaged in an activity we, as humans, must do to survive every day. What she did wasn't exciting or groundbreaking. In fact, it was somewhat mundane. On Thursday, March 3, 2016, Schumer ate a sandwich for lunch.

That is, we thought that's what she was doing, until we saw a special article from the Daily Mail, which clarified that she actually "quickly wolfed down" a ham sandwich between takes while her "ever-glowing blonde tresses she kept loose in their trademark ringlets."

Daily Mail

Can you imagine?! Eating AND having great hair at the same time?

Listen, Daily Mail. Contrary to your obvious belief, women -- regardless of their celebrity status -- eat lunch. They eat breakfast. They eat dinner! They eat snacks! They eat because eating is wonderful and necessary. Not because they are "chowing" or "wolfing" down, or for the benefit of anyone other than themselves.

Of course, ever the one to highlight what really matters, Schumer perfectly responded to the absurdity in a single Tweet.