What’s trending in the beard world?

by Jarad FrimmelAugust 22, 2016

So for those in possession of facial follicles, anyone who has suffered hash rash, or indeed any sentient being, it’s important to know what, if any, hair will be adorning the faces of those on trend for 2016.

The Shorter Long Beard

Beards of a bushiness to rival Rasputin’s are, like the Russian mystic, dead and buried. Which is a godsend for those of us who always thought you looked a bit ridiculous with them anyway. Instead, our sources are predicting that 2016 will see a calmer, more controlled version come to the fore.

“Also, the lines on the cheek are sharp in order to contrast with the full, natural and unpredictable growth below. Finally, the bottom of the beard lies up to two inches below the chin.”

Who’s It For?

The hirsute. “This style only works if you have extensive facial hair growth,” says Brady. “It’s a good way of concealing a smaller chin, a double chin or elongating a rounder face – but if you have a longer face, choose a beard that’s a bit shorter.”

Hipster Beard

Legend says every time you shave your beard you can hear a hipster scream. Save the hipster, stop shaving your beard!

Dr Withey is adamant the beardpocalypse is upon us.

“The hipster beard, or lumberjack beard, is going to be the defining facial hair of this generation,” he told the British press.