TOMHe should have stuck to deli meats. I hope the wife didn’t have an airborne blood disease.

TANYAShaking Head After we wrap this up, let’s go for some aroma therapy. By the way, I hear the roast beef’s on sale.

TOMWait! I think I found something. Bends over, picks up a piece of fabric. Arrrrgh! He stands up, clutching his lower back.

TANYAYou’ve got to bend from the knees. Though, I once tore a tendon just from standing.

TOMExamines fabric. This looks like a piece of deli apron. Is that Virginia ham? Bags it. Hands it to a cop. Have the medical examiner check for DNA and apron fibers underneath the fingernails. And get me an I.D. on the ham.

TANYADamn! I’ve got a bleeding hangnail. I hope it doesn’t get infected.

TOMLet me take a look. He grabs her gloved hand. Owe! My back. The nail looks very red. That can’t be good. I know a good hangnail specialist. He comes highly recommended.

TANYAGod. I hope he doesn’t have to amputate. I don’t know if I can live with one nail shorter than the rest. It’ll throw everything off balance. How will I ever hold a pen again?

TOMThey have prosthetics.

TANYAIt’s just not the same thing.

TOMThere’s an excellent nail rehab center down the block. In just six weeks, you’ll be able to scratch an itch.

TANYALet’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I don’t want to think about mosquito bites and West Nile Virus. Sneezes.