11/27/2012

Recently, I heard a renowned psychiatrist say, "you must be your own advocate of calm. Stress will always find you, calm you have to create." This resonated with me. In life it's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life's stressors, and taking the time to to bring that heightened emotional level down is not only recommended, but necessary.

02/12/2012

Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills. Recognize and learn assertive behavior and communication.

Being assertive is a core communication skill. Being assertive means that you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view, while also respecting the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive can also help boost your self-esteem and earn others' respect. This can help with stress management, especially if you tend to take on too many responsibilities because you have a hard time saying no.

Some people seem to be naturally assertive. But if you're not one of them, you can learn to be more assertive.

Why assertive communication makes sense

Because assertiveness is based on mutual respect, it's an effective and diplomatic communication style. Being assertive shows that you respect yourself, because you're willing to stand up for your interests and express your thoughts and feelings. It also demonstrates that you're aware of the rights of others and are willing to work on resolving conflicts.

Of course, it's not just what you say — your message — but also how you say it that's important. Assertive communication is direct and respectful. Being assertive gives you the best chance of successfully delivering your message. If you communicate in a way that's too passive or too aggressive, your message may get lost because people are too busy reacting to your delivery.

Assertive vs. passive behavior

If your style is passive, you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing. You may routinely say things such as, "I'll just go with whatever the group decides." You tend to avoid conflict. Why is that a problem? Because the message you're sending is that your thoughts and feelings aren't as important as those of other people. In essence, when you're too passive, you give others the license to disregard your wants and needs.

Consider this example: You say yes when a colleague asks you to take over a project, even though your plate is full and the extra works means you'll have to work overtime and miss your daughter's soccer game. Your intention may be to keep the peace. But always saying yes can poison your relationships. And worse, it may cause you internal conflict because your needs and those of your family always come second.

The internal conflict that can be created by passive behavior can lead to:

Stress

Resentment

Seething anger

Feelings of victimization

Desire to exact revenge

Assertive vs. aggressive behavior

Now consider the flip side. If your style is aggressive, you may come across as a bully who disregards the needs, feelings and opinions of others. You may appear self-righteous or superior. Very aggressive people humiliate and intimidate others, and may even be physically threatening.

You may think that being aggressive gets you what you want. However, it comes at a cost. Aggression undercuts trust and mutual respect. Others may come to resent you, leading them to avoid or oppose you.

Assertive vs. passive-aggressive behavior

Now consider passive-aggressive behavior. If you communicate in a passive-aggressive manner, you may say yes when you want to say no. You may be sarcastic or complain about others behind their backs. You may have developed a passive-aggressive style because you're uncomfortable being direct about your needs and feelings.

What are the drawbacks of a passive-aggressive communication style? Over time, passive-aggressive behavior damages relationships and undercuts mutual respect, making it difficult for you to get your goals and needs met.

The benefits of being assertive

Being assertive is typically viewed as a healthier communication style. Being assertive offers many benefits. It helps you keep people from walking all over you. On the flip side, it can also help you from steamrolling others.

Behaving assertively can help you:

Gain self-confidence and self-esteem

Understand and recognize your feelings

Earn respect from others

Improve communication

Create win-win situations

Improve your decision-making skills

Create honest relationships

Gain more job satisfaction

Some research even suggests that learning to be more assertive can help people cope with mental health problems, such as depression, anorexia, bulimia, social anxiety disorder and schizophrenia.

Learning to be more assertive

People develop different styles of communication based on their life experiences. Your style may be so ingrained that you're not even aware of what it is. People tend to stick to the same communication style over time. But if you want to change your communication style, you can learn to communicate in healthier and more effective ways.

Here are some tips to help you become more assertive:

Assess your style. Do you voice your opinions or remain silent? Do you say yes to additional work even when your plate is full? Are you quick to judge or blame? Do people seem to dread or fear talking to you? Understand your style before you begin making changes.

Practice saying no. If you have a hard time turning down requests, try saying, "No, I can't do that now." Don't beat around the bush — be direct. If an explanation is appropriate, keep it brief.

Rehearse what you want to say. If it's challenging to say what you want or think, practice typical scenarios you encounter. Say what you want to say out loud. It may help to write it out first, too, so you can practice from a script. Consider role playing with a friend or colleague and ask for blunt feedback.

Use body language. Communication isn't just verbal. Act confident even if you aren't feeling it. Keep an upright posture, but lean forward a bit. Make regular eye contact. Maintain a neutral or positive facial expression. Don't wring your hands or use dramatic gestures. Practice assertive body language in front of a mirror or with a friend or colleague.

Keep emotions in check. Conflict is hard for most people. Maybe you get angry or frustrated, or maybe you feel like crying. Although these feelings are normal, they can get in the way of resolving conflict. If you feel too emotional going into a situation, wait a bit if possible. Then work on remaining calm. Breathe slowly. Keep your voice even and firm.

Start small. At first, practice your new skills in situations that are low risk. For instance, try out your assertiveness on a partner or friend before tackling a difficult situation at work. Evaluate yourself afterward and tweak your approach as necessary.

When you need help being assertive

Remember, learning to be assertive takes time and practice. If you've spent years silencing yourself, becoming more assertive probably won't happen overnight. Or if anger leads you to be too aggressive, you may need to learn some anger management techniques.

If despite your best efforts you're not making progress toward becoming more assertive, consider formal assertiveness training. And if issues such as anger, stress, anxiety or fear are getting in your way, consider talking with a mental health provider. The payoff will be worth it. By becoming more assertive, you can begin to express your true feelings and needs more easily. You may even find you get more of what you want as a result.

You’ve heard people complain that they’re depressed after a breakup, a layoff, or an overall terrible week. But are these people really experiencing depression?

When a stressful situation is particularly hard to cope with, we react with symptoms of sadness, fear, or even hopelessness — a type of reaction that’s often referred to as situational depression. Unlike major depression, when you are overwhelmed by depression symptoms for a long time, situational depression usually goes away once you have adapted to your new situation.

Actually, situational depression is usually considered an adjustment disorder rather than true depression. But that doesn’t mean it should be ignored: If situational depression goes untreated, it could develop into major depression.

"Situational could lead to major depression or simply be a period of grief,” explains Kathleen Franco, MD, professor of medicine and psychiatry at Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine in Ohio. "If emotional and behavioral symptoms reduce normal functioning in social or occupational arenas, it should be treated."

"Situational depression means that the symptoms are set off by some set of circumstances or event. It could lead to major depression or simply be a period of grief,” explains Kathleen Franco, MD, professor of medicine and psychiatry at Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine in Ohio. However, she adds that situational depression may need treatment "if emotional and behavioral symptoms reduce normal functioning in social or occupational arenas."

Who Gets Situational Depression and Why?Situational depression is common and can happen to anyone — about 10 percent of adults and up to 30 percent of adolescents experience this condition at some point. Men and women are affected equally.The most common cause of situational depression is stress. Some typical events that lead to it include:

* Loss of a relationship * Loss of a job * Loss of a loved one * Serious illness * Experiencing a traumatic event such as a disaster, crime, or accident

What Are the Symptoms of Situational Depression?The most common symptoms of situational depression are depressed mood, tearfulness, and feelings of hopelessness. Children or teenagers are more likely to show behavioral symptoms such as fighting or skipping school. Some other symptoms include: * Feeling nervous * Having body symptoms such as headache, stomachache, or heart palpitations * Missing work, school, or social activities * Changes in sleeping or eating habits * Feeling tired * Abusing alcohol or drugs

How Is Situational Depression Diagnosed and Treated?A diagnosis of situational depression, or adjustment disorder with depressed mood, is made when symptoms of depression occur within three months of a stress-causing event, are more severe than expected, or interfere with normal functioning. Your doctor may do tests to rule out other physical illnesses, and you may need a psychological evaluation to make sure you are not suffering from a more serious condition such as post-traumatic stress disorder or a more serious type of depression.The best treatment for situational depression is counseling with a mental health professional. The goal of treatment is to help you cope with your stress and get back to normal. Support groups are often helpful. Family therapy may be especially important for children or teenagers. In some cases, you may need medication to help control anxiety or for trouble sleeping.

Situational depression and other types of depression are a common problem today, notes James C. Overholser, PhD, professor of psychology at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. "Many people are struggling with social isolation, financial limitations, or chronic health problems," says Dr. Overholser. "A psychologist is much more likely to view depression as a reaction to negative life events. Many people can overcome their depression by making changes in their attitudes, their daily behaviors, and their interpersonal functioning."

If you have situational depression, you should know that most people get completely better within about six months after the stressful event. However, it is important to get help, because situational depression can lead to a more severe type of depression or substance abuse if untreated. For many people with situational depression, the coping skills they learn in treatment can become valuable tools to help them face the future.

11/26/2010

We all know exercising and eating a healthy diet are good for our bodies, but how many people realize practicing an attitude of gratitude can improve our health as well?

There’s no doubt that mind and body are connected, and this link is especially apparent when it comes to gratitude. “Research suggests that individuals who are grateful in their daily lives actually report fewer stress-related health symptoms, including headaches, gastrointestinal (stomach) issues, chest pain, muscle aches, and appetite problems,” says Sheela Raja, PhD, an assistant professor and clinical psychologist in the Colleges of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Illinois at Chicago.

Not only that, researchers in England studied a group of students at the beginning and end of their first semester in college and found that those who practiced gratitude experienced less stress and depression and more social support. Similar results were found by researchers at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. and the University of California at Davis — young teens who counted their blessings reported more optimism and satisfaction than those who didn’t. Grateful people are also often more content because they don’t spend a lot of time comparing themselves with others, says Raja.

An Attitude of Gratitude: How to Say Thanks

Now that we can appreciate the importance of gratitude in our lives, how can we make it happen? The first step is to understand that it’s much more than saying thanks for something nice that happened to us or celebrating on Thanksgiving — it’s a whole way of looking at the world.

“Feeling gratitude is a sense of what I would call appreciation, wonder, and thankfulness for what has occurred in our lives and what is going on right now, an eager anticipation of what is to come,” says Paula Langguth Ryan of Boulder, Colo., author of Giving Thanks, The Art of Tithing. “It’s being present to the wonders and joys of life as it is, without wanting it to be different, and a sense of fulfillment that comes from within, from seeing the good — or the potential for good — in every situation.”

There are a variety of ways we can go about increasing the gratitude factor in our lives. Here’s some ideas to get started:

Practice meditation, yoga, or prayer. Anything that increases focus on the present moment will help increase gratitude, says Raja. Don’t think about only the big things — be thankful for the small nuances and beauty in everyday life.

Re-frame your thinking. “I recommend folks do ‘I am grateful’ or ‘thank you’ statements for everything that goes on in their lives, as it gets them into the habit of not judging,” says Ryan. “Years ago when someone I was really into decided to stop dating me, that very evening of the breakup I created a gratitude list of 25 things I was grateful for in the short time we dated. That shifted me out of feeling abandoned and unworthy and into feeling blessed for the new things I’d learned about myself, new ways of relating to another, and the new experiences I’d had during that time.”

Keep a written (or oral) gratitude journal. Write down what you’re thankful for, or share them with family at dinner. You can even simply think about them before going to sleep.

Do something for someone else. “There is strong evidence that helping other people actually helps us focus more on the blessings in our own lives,” says Raja. Do a good deed, big or small, and the good probably will come back to you.

Ultimately being grateful is more than an act of thanks here and there; it’s a philosophy that can open up endless possibilities. Now that’s something to be thankful for.

11/12/2010

Research has shown that getting active can reduce depression symptoms. Here's how to add an exercise program to your treatment plan.

If you have been diagnosed with depression, you may be following the traditional depression treatment of antidepressant medications and therapy. In addition, your doctor may recommend some lifestyle changes that can help you feel better. One of the best is adding exercise, because physical activity has been shown to reduce depression symptoms.

In a detailed analysis of 80 studies on the subject of exercise and depression, researchers found that:

Exercise helped depression both immediately and over a span of time.

Exercise helped all those studied, but especially people who were in the worst state, physically or psychologically speaking, at the beginning of the exercise program.

Exercise helped adults in particular, and men and women equally.

The more someone exercised, the less depressed he became.

The best anti-depression regimen was a combination of psychotherapy and exercise.

More studies are still needed to determine exactly how exercise helps, but scientists think activity reduces levels of stress hormones and improves physical fitness, thereby alleviating thedepression symptoms. In addition, the socialization, distraction from daily stress, and self-esteem that often come with group exercise may play a part in relieving symptoms.

Depression Treatment: What Type of Exercise Is Best?

The answer to that question isn’t clear; what is clear is that any exercise is better than none at all.

After consulting with your physician, "I would recommend exercising at least three to five times a week for an hour,” says Walther Scheibel, who recommends a combination of cardiovascular exercise — also known as aerobic exercise — and weight training.

“There is no excuse not to exercise,” adds Walther Scheibel. She suggests that people should participate in physical activities that they enjoy and that work with their lifestyle and budget. “Walking, running, biking, swimming, and group exercise classes" are all good exercise options.”

Depression Treatment: Getting Started

If you are interested in exercising to relieve your depression symptoms, talk with your mental health provider. He or she can work with you to help figure out how to fit exercise into your overall depression treatment plan.

Talk with your primary doctor as well, especially if you have a health condition like heart disease, diabetes, or high blood pressure. Your doctor can recommend exercises that will be safe and effective for you.

Healthy adults can aim for 150 minutes of moderate cardiovascular exercises, like walking, jogging, or biking, each week; add strengthening exercises, such as push-ups, sit-ups, or weight training, at least twice each week.

A qualified personal trainer at your gym or local community center can help you develop a comprehensive routine that sets fitness goals as well. And recruiting an exercise partner may be just the motivation you need to commit to a regular program that will bring you both physical and psychological benefits.

11/07/2010

If you experience the symptoms of depression, don't isolate yourself. Reach out and find the help you need.

Major depression, also called clinical depression, goes way beyond being stuck in a "blue mood." Getting help for depression is serious business because the disease can change you mentally and physically. People with major depression — about 8 percent of Americans — should know that it is an illness, not a weakness.

Despite the overwhelming effect that depression can have on your life, statistics show that about 80 percent of people with depression are not getting any treatment, a regrettable situation because help for depression is available and treatment works. In fact, the success rate is 80 to 90 percent.

Getting Help for Depression: How to Know if You Need Help

Depression is not a normal part of getting older or having a chronic illness. Anyone can get depression. One of the symptoms of depression is withdrawing from people and isolating yourself, which may make it even harder to ask for help for depression. Symptoms of depression to be aware of include:

A depressed mood almost every day

Loss of interest in normal activities

Changes to appetite and sleep

Change in ability to think clearly

Loss of energy

Feeling guilty or worthless

Being anxious or angry

Thinking about suicide

If you are experiencing these symptoms more often than not, you need to seek help. Also, if you are thinking about harming yourself, you need to tell someone right away.

Getting Help for Depression: How to Find Help for Depression

Because depression can drain you of energy and hope, taking the first step can be hard. Start getting help for depression by telling someone how you feel. If you don't have the will to call your doctor and make an appointment, a friend or loved one can do it for you. Your own doctor is usually the best place to start because many medical conditions can cause symptoms similar to depression. Your doctor can also decide if you have clinical depression or if your depression is due to another medical condition. Often your doctor will refer you to a mental health professional.

Getting Help for Depression: Therapists and Professional Support

There are many types of mental health professionals and facilities that can help you get through your depression. They include:

Psychiatrists

Psychologists

Social workers

Mental health counselors

Community mental health centers

Hospital outpatient clinics

Family social service agencies

Getting Help for Depression: Support Groups

Many people get help for depression from support groups. A support group may meet in person or online. Although a support group is not a substitute for professional treatment, it is a way to share your experience of depression with others. The benefits of support groups that can help with depression include:

If you ever think about harming yourself, immediately call 911 or the 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Finally, don't forget that the most important support may come from your own friends and family members. If you are feeling the overwhelming symptoms of depression, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself. Getting help for depression starts with reaching out.

11/05/2010

First, identify what's creating stress at work. Maybe it’s lack of control over your job. Or maybe it's worry about losing your job or how you are doing at work. You might feel stress because you're unable to express your thoughts and ideas to your boss and coworkers.

Think about why you want to reduce stressat work. You might want to protect your heart and your health by reducing stress. Or maybe you simply want to enjoy your life more and not let work stress control how you feel. Your reason for wanting to change is important. If your reason comes from you—and not someone else—it will be easier for you to make a healthy change for good.

Next, set a goal for yourself that involves reducing your stress level. Think about both a long-term and a short-term goal.

Here are a few examples:

Shelly's long-term goal is to reduce stress by managing her frustration over things she can't control at work. Her short-term goal is to learn to do deep breathing and relaxation exercises when she gets stressed. She'll try it the next time her boss hands her a last-minute project.

Jill’s long-term goal is to reduce stress by speaking up at work and expressing her interests and ideas more effectively. Her short-term goal is to practice being more assertive. When she’s ready, she'll contribute an idea at a department meeting.

Raoul’s long-term goal is to reduce stress by having a better understanding of what’s expected of him at work. His short-term goal is to find out how he is doing now. He plans to schedule a meeting with his boss to talk about his performance and how he can improve.

John’s long-term goal is to reduce stress by learning to say “no” to projects he doesn't have time to handle. His short-term goal is to get organized and prioritize the projects he has now. He is going to make a list of all of his work and then prioritize the tasks that are most important.

After setting your goals, think about what might get in your way. Use a personal action plan to write down your goals, the possible barriers, and your ideas for getting past them. By thinking about these barriers now, you can plan ahead for how to deal with them if they happen.

Most important, make sure you get support from friends and family in your efforts to reduce job stress. If your company has an employee assistance program, you might use it to talk with a counselor. A counselor can help you set goals and provide support in dealing with setbacks.

11/04/2010

Stress reduction is an important part of a healthy lifestyle, just like diet and exercise. These tips will help you keep your stress levels under control.

When you're stressed, your head may start to hurt, or you may feel nauseous, dizzy, or just plain overwhelmed. Stress can have a huge impact on every aspect of your life, so stress reduction is necessary for maintaining both your physical and emotional health. Since you can't simply wish stress away, managing stress is a vital skill to develop.

Managing Stress: When You Experience a Sudden Spike

Certain situations create stress instantly, such as a major issue at work or a crisis at home that needs to be addressed right away. When there's an urgent problem that requires your immediate attention, managing stress is important so that you can think clearly. Try these stress reduction tips to help you deal with anxiety-provoking experiences:

Put it in perspective. Maybe you're disappointed that you didn't get a promotion you were up for or concerned that money is a little tight this month because of an unexpected medical bill. Feeling stressed is a natural reaction. But try to take a step back and ask yourself: will this issue still matter in a year? In five years? If the answer is no, take a deep breath and try to move forward. Keeping things in perspective is crucial to managing stress.

Come up with a plan. If there's a specific problem you need to fix, make a list of all possible solutions and pick the best one for your situation. Realizing that you have options and coming up with a concrete plan will have a direct effect on stress reduction.

Accept what you can't control. Some circumstances are simply beyond our control, and we have to learn to cope with and accept them. Fortunately, you do have control over how you react to stressful situations. Staying calm and being willing to accept emotional support from others can help in managing stress.

Managing Stress: When It’s at a Slow, Steady Boil

Sometimes it’s not one specific problem, but rather nagging concerns about your job, health, finances, or family members that create a steady build-up of stress. Try these tips to help you with stress reduction:

Give yourself a break. Daily stressors can creep up on you before you realize it, so treat yourself to at least one relaxing activity every day. Listening to music, meditating, writing in a journal, or enjoying a soothing bubble bath are all great ways to relax and relieve stress. Taking time for yourself is important for both preventing and managing stress.

Get regular exercise. Exercise is one of the best methods for managing stress because it can relieve both the physical and emotional effects of stress. Consider fitness choices that also deliver specific stress-reducing effects like yoga, tai chi, Pilates, or one of the martial arts, all great ways to get rid of pent-up stress and negativity.

Express your feelings. If something's bothering you, don't keep it to yourself. Talk to people you trust, like friends, family, or co-workers, about what's on your mind. Even if you're not looking for specific advice, it usually feels good just to get your feelings out into the open.

Managing Stress: Keeping Stressful Situations to a Minimum

Being prepared for difficult situations, managing your time well, and solving problems quickly can help you avoid unnecessary stress:

Set reasonable expectations. Being busy is sometimes inevitable, but regularly taking on more than you can manage can cause unwanted and unwelcome stress. Tell yourself that it's okay to say no to activities at your child's school or to extra projects at work — you are not obligated to accept every request made of you. Additionally, don't take on more financial responsibilities — such as a new car or a bigger house — if you think they'll be a stretch. Being realistic about your finances is an important strategy for managing stress.

Resolve issues before they become crises. It’s human nature to avoid unpleasant topics and circumstances, but if you're concerned about a brewing situation, whether it's at work or at home, address it early to keep it from becoming more serious, harder to solve, and more stressful for you. Problems are always easier to handle before they develop into full-blown calamities.

Everyone feels stress — it's impossible to avoid it all the time. But it is possible to keep stress under control by setting realistic expectations of yourself, learning how to keep problems in perspective, and enjoying relaxing breaks from the daily demands of life.

10/18/2010

Treating anxiety often involves the use of psychotherapy and various types of drugs that can ratchet down the chemical behaviors in the body that drive the anxiety disorder. Treatment for an anxiety disorder can also include non-traditional therapies that fall under the heading of complementary and alternative medicine.

Treating Anxiety: Understanding Alternative Medicine

Complementary and alternative medicine is an umbrella term that refers to a wide range of approaches — from nutritional substances with health effects, like vitamin supplements and omega-3 fatty acids, to physical techniques such as acupuncture.

While some approaches have the muscle of scientific studies behind them, others remain more anecdotal. They may have merit, but are hard to evaluate scientifically in the absence of properly conducted trials. Here are some of the more popular alternative choices for treating anxiety.

Herbal Supplements for Anxiety

Studies have indicated that ingestion of preparations of the kava plant may help reduce anxiety, although Canadian and European health agencies have warned of the potential of liver damage from kava use.

St. John’s wort is a plant that may be effective in relieving anxiety and depression. However, the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) warns that it may negatively interact with antidepressants, often prescribed for anxiety.

The herbs valerian and chamomile (the staple of that relaxing-on-the-couch herbal tea) are both popular for treating anxiety, but according to NCCAM, there are no scientific studies supporting their effectiveness.

This self-help approach is best done in consultation with your doctor, since some natural remedies for anxiety disorders might have unwanted side effects if combined with prescribed or over-the-counter anxiety medications. Also, natural remedies can still be sold without the stringent quality assurance precautions that are in place for conventionally produced drugs.

Meditation for Anxiety

The calming effects of meditation are well-known and have been linked anecdotally to easing symptoms of anxiety. The nuts-and-bolts scientific demonstration of these benefits is less clear. But the lack of information need not be a deterrent to use of the approach, since there are no side effects of meditation.

If a treatment like meditation "is proven to be safe, it may sometimes be recommended despite lacking conclusive evidence of effectiveness with the belief that it is unlikely to hurt but has a potential to help,” says Amit Sood, MD, director of research for Mayo Clinic’s Complementary and Alternative Medicine Program in Rochester, Minn.

Acupuncture for Anxiety

The science for the anti-anxiety benefits of acupuncture is more solid than for other alternative therapies. Several small-scale studies have demonstrated a “statistically significant effect,” meaning that the results are not likely due to a chance effect. Plus, the technique has the weight of thousands of years of use behind it. Acupuncture should performed by a physiotherapist or other health practitioner trained in acupuncture delivery.

Physical and Lifestyle Approaches

Adopting healthy eating habits and incorporating exercise into the daily routine is always a good idea. The list of beneficial lifestyle options is long and includes walking, jogging, yoga, biking, swimming, massage, and dance. Results may be a better mental outlook and less reliance on medications.

“Consider the options when treating stress. You can use a long list of medications to suppress symptoms, but many of these medications may have serious side effects, and some have hazardous ones. So it makes sense to consider options such as meditation, massage, and yoga to minimize the risk of side effects of medicines,” says Dr. Sood.

There are many alternative options, as well as traditional therapies, that can be helpful in treating anxiety. Just be sure to discuss any anxiety therapy you’re thinking of with your medical team, so that you aren’t using approaches that could counteract each other.

10/17/2010

Even if therapy and medication are helping you to cope with anxiety, it can still be difficult to live with an anxiety disorder. You may feel like no one else really understands what you’re going through. Joining a support group can help, and even play an important role in your recovery from the anxiety disorder.

Anxiety Disorder: How Support Groups Help

"Support groups are wonderful," says Sally R. Connolly, LCSW, a therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Kentucky. For people with anxiety disorders, "it can be very helpful to know that they're not alone."

It can be a huge relief just to find others dealing with the same issues. "Being in a support group helped me learn to admit that I had this illness," recalls Rita Clark of Lake Forest, Calif., now the consumer chair for the Anxiety Disorders Association of America. "I was with people who were all suffering the same thing and were trying to get better. The therapist and the other people in the group really validated that I was not alone," Clark says.

While the others in her support group did not always share the same anxiety symptoms as Clark, she still felt they shared a bond. "Even though they had panic with different situations than I did, the bottom line was that we were really afraid of feeling those feelings, and I learned in that support group that's the one common thing that we all had," notes Clark.

Clark had secretly suffered from panic attacks for 20 years before she sought treatment, which included attending an in-person support group. Since then, Clark has started nine new anxiety disorder support groups in California.

Anxiety treatment is all about baby steps, not huge leaps. No one understands that better than other people dealing with an anxiety disorder. People who can relate to your struggles can be with you every step of the way in your recovery, explains Clark, and that's one of the most rewarding things about going to a support group.

"It's a place where you are totally supported and understood. You have a place that's safe to talk without judgment. No one will understand better than the people in that room," Clark says.

Anxiety Disorder: Creating Your Support Network

To find a support group in your area, ask your therapist or psychiatrist for recommendations. You can also check your local phone book or search online for anxiety disorder support groups at Web sites such as the Anxiety Disorders Association of America.

Connolly stresses the importance of only visiting reputable Web sites, like those affiliated with larger associations. She suggests Anxietypanic.com, which offers good educational information and an online support group and message board. While online support groups and networks can be very helpful, Connolly recommends finding an in-person anxiety disorder support group as well.

Connolly also urges people with anxiety disorders to consider involving family members in their treatment. "Families and marriages are affected by the anxiety and affect the anxiety. So when someone in a relationship struggles with anxiety, it can be really important to get some sort of couples or family therapy," explains Connolly.

Even if you already have a strong network of friends and family, and especially if you don't, a support group can help you cope with an anxiety disorder. Surrounding yourself with people who understand what you're going through and are there to celebrate each step of your recovery can really boost your spirits. And when your success helps encourage other people with anxiety disorders, you'll feel even better.

Sometimes it takes more than being tired to fall asleep. Relaxation techniques can help you sleep more soundly, but don’t stop there. Creating the right atmosphere in your bedroom will also lead to better sleep.

The ultimate sleep setting starts with a comfortable bed — good pillows and a blanket or comforter make your bed more inviting. You also want to set the right mood to help you sleep.

The Root of Sleep Problems

People have trouble sleeping for many reasons. Barbara Phillips, MD, director of the University of Kentucky Good Samaritan Sleep Center in Lexington, speculates that sleep problems may have to do with human instinct and the need to survive.

"Difficulty sleeping is a normal reaction to stress and to an unhealthy or dangerous environment," Dr. Phillips says. This probably gave our ancestors a survival advantage when the greatest risk to their well-being was being attacked at night, whether by saber-toothed tigers or enemy tribes.

How does that affect your sleep today? "We are probably hardwired not to sleep as well when there are problems in our lives," says Phillips. "This may be part of the reason that insomnia is often associated with stress, depression, and anxiety." Being physically uncomfortable when trying to sleep can make it even harder.

How to Sleep Well: Creating Your Sleep Haven

The right sleep environment is essential to set the stage for better sleep. Give your bedroom a makeover with these tips:

Set an appropriate noise level. Certain sounds may annoy you at night, while having your room too quiet can also affect your ability to sleep. White noise is purposeful noise — usually a steady, low-level background sound — that blocks out distracting sounds. Try running a fan at night or playing a CD of soothing sounds, like rain or ocean waves — whatever relaxes you.

Check the temperature. It can be difficult to sleep in a room that’s too hot or too cold. The right temperature depends on your personal comfort level. Find out what makes you most comfortable in bed so that you don't wake up sweating or shivering.

Make a comfortable bed. When you slip into bed at the end of a long day, it should feel welcoming, luxurious, and relaxing. Clean, soft sheets, blankets or a comforter, and pillows are a given. But also make sure that your mattress is in good shape and has the level of firmness you need.

Turn out the lights. Exposure to plenty of sunlight during the day can help you sleep better at night, but you want your room as dark as possible while you sleep. Hang curtains or shades designed with a backing material that blocks outside lights and early morning sunlight, or consider sleeping with an eye mask.

Limit bedroom activities. When you work, watch TV, or play on the computer in bed, it stimulates you and negatively affects your ability to sleep. Learning to associate your bedroom with only sleep and sex will help you fall asleep and sleep better when you’re in your bed.

Give yourself some space. Partners, cats, and dogs can lay claim to space on your bed, snore, and generally disrupt your sleep. If your partner’s snoring interferes with your sleep, talk about solutions to get it under control. If you have pets, consider keeping them out of your bedroom at night.

Sleep is a necessity, and it should be restorative. It can also be enjoyable. Create a tranquil sleep environment so that you can sink into a deep, restful sleep easily each night.

05/03/2010

Everyone has good days and bad days — even good years and bad years — but you should be concerned when the signs of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or bipolar disorder make it difficult to carry out the tasks of everyday life. Challenging emotions can arise in any situation, from work to relationships, and you want to act before they seriously interfere with your ability to function.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Clinical Depression

“You determine clinical depression by two measures. One is by time and one is by severity — impact on function. When you have severe symptoms that last at least two weeks and are interfering with fundamental basic functions, it falls into the realm of clinical depression,” explains psychiatrist Jill RachBeisel, MD, associate professor of psychiatry of the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore.

There are many symptoms of depression, but most common among people with clinical depression are changes in:

Sleep. When clinical depression sets in, you may have consistent, severe insomnia and be unable to sleep well almost every night.

Concentration. “Someone might find themselves unable to maintain focus on simple activities like watching a TV program or reading a newspaper article,” says RachBeisel. You may not be able to focus on a recipe for dinner or tasks at work.

Energy level. “With severe clinical depression your energy is so low you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning or carrying through your basic activities of daily living. People find themselves lying in bed and staying in pajamas all day long,” RachBeisel explains.

Interest in activities that one would normally enjoy. This may mean that you no longer care about shaving or styling your hair, for example, or about bigger issues, like caring for your children.

At its most severe, clinical depression can lead to suicide. Having thoughts like “My family would be better off without me” is a warning sign.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Anxiety

“We all should have a little anxiety on board because when you think about it, what makes you really perform well is you get a little anxious,” says RachBeisel. These, however, are signs that you may need help with your anxiety level:

You can’t follow a conversation or complete a basic task.

You can’t do what other people do; for example, a fear of crossing bridges prevents you from seeing the other side of town.

You find yourself avoiding family gatherings or office parties due to social anxiety.

You worry that in a crowded room people are looking at you or talking about you.

You may avoid projects that require public speaking or presenting your work.

“People with OCD are so anxious, they have intrusive thoughts that are irrational, and they can’t get the thoughts out of their head. So what they do is develop behaviors to cope with the anxiety,” says RachBeisel. These behaviors or rituals may be so time-consuming that you can’t get to work (or anywhere) on time, and may even prevent you from working. For example, you may:

Wash your hands 20 to 30 times a day.

Count 15 cars before you can park.

Spend hours checking the door and window locks before going to bed.

Spend hours bathing.

Repeat work tasks multiple times to make sure they are perfect.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Bipolar Disorder

“A person with bipolar disorder is someone who has severe mood swings,” says RachBeisel. During the depressed phase, the signs of clinical depression appear, but people with bipolar disorder also experience a manic phase during which they may have a lot of energy and positive feelings about themselves. Signs of mania are:

Mood swings. Examples are elevated mood or extreme irritability.

Fast speech. “You can’t get a word in edgewise and you have to ask them to slow down,” says RachBeisel.

No need for sleep. People with pipolar disorder may stay up all night for many days cleaning, painting walls, or doing laundry.

Overextended. An overly high estimation of themselves leads to commitments they can’t possibly keep, such as taking on jobs they don’t have the skills to do.

Excessive behaviors. Charging tens of thousands of dollars or having sex with casual acquaintances are just two examples.

Mental Health: How to Get Help

If you suspect that you have signs of one of these mental health conditions, RachBeisel advises that you:

Call your primary care doctor and ask for a referral so you can get evaluated by a specialist.

Call a local suicide hotline if you are experiencing severe symptoms.

Contact your local health department for a list of mental health services.

By knowing the signs of these common mental health conditions, you'll be better equipped to recognize when you, or someone you love, may need professional help.

Or you do a search on Psychology Today, or other online sites to find the right match for you. I believe it's important to find the right match when it comes to finding a therapist. Also, if you are considering medication, I recommend seeing a psychiatrist or visiting your doctor with a list of symptoms you are experiencing, and a list of questions you may have for them. I recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you are able to afford one, because they are able to spend at least an hour with you asking and answering questions, and generally have more experience in psychopharmacology than a primary care physician.

04/06/2010

Some alternative anxiety treatments have scientific backing; for others, the evidence is just anecdotal.

Treating anxiety often involves the use of psychotherapy and various types of drugs that can ratchet down the chemical behaviors in the body that drive the anxiety disorder. Treatment for ananxiety disorder can also include non-traditional therapies that fall under the heading of complementary and alternative medicine.

Treating Anxiety: Understanding Alternative MedicineComplementary and alternative medicine is an umbrella term that refers to a wide range of approaches — from nutritional substances with health effects, like vitamin supplements and omega-3 fatty acids, to physical techniques such as acupuncture.

While some approaches have the muscle of scientific studies behind them, others remain more anecdotal. They may have merit, but are hard to evaluate scientifically in the absence of properly conducted trials. Here are some of the more popular alternative choices for treating anxiety.

Herbal Supplements for AnxietyStudies have indicated that ingestion of preparations of the kava plant may help reduce anxiety, although Canadian and European health agencies have warned of the potential of liver damage from kava use.

St. John’s wort is a plant that may be effective in relieving anxiety and depression. However, the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) warns that it may negatively interact with antidepressants, often prescribed for anxiety.

The herbs valerian and chamomile (the staple of that relaxing-on-the-couch herbal tea) are both popular for treating anxiety, but according to NCCAM, there are no scientific studies supporting their effectiveness.

This self-help approach is best done in consultation with your doctor, since some natural remedies for anxiety disorders might have unwanted side effects if combined with prescribed or over-the-counter anxiety medications. Also, natural remedies can still be sold without the stringent quality assurance precautions that are in place for conventionally produced drugs.

Meditation for AnxietyThe calming effects of meditation are well-known and have been linked anecdotally to easing symptoms of anxiety. The nuts-and-bolts scientific demonstration of these benefits is less clear. But the lack of information need not be a deterrent to use of the approach, since there are no side effects of meditation.

If a treatment like meditation "is proven to be safe, it may sometimes be recommended despite lacking conclusive evidence of effectiveness with the belief that it is unlikely to hurt but has a potential to help,” says Amit Sood, MD, director of research for Mayo Clinic’s Complementary and Alternative Medicine Program in Rochester, Minn.

Acupuncture for AnxietyThe science for the anti-anxiety benefits of acupuncture is more solid than for other alternative therapies. Several small-scale studies have demonstrated a “statistically significant effect,” meaning that the results are not likely due to a chance effect. Plus, the technique has the weight of thousands of years of use behind it. Acupuncture should performed by a physiotherapist or other health practitioner trained in acupuncture delivery.

Physical and Lifestyle ApproachesAdopting healthy eating habits and incorporating exercise into the daily routine is always a good idea. The list of beneficial lifestyle options is long and includes walking, jogging, yoga, biking, swimming, massage, and dance. Results may be a better mental outlook and less reliance on medications.

“Consider the options when treating stress. You can use a long list of medications to suppress symptoms, but many of these medications may have serious side effects, and some have hazardous ones. So it makes sense to consider options such as meditation, massage, and yoga to minimize the risk of side effects of medicines,” says Dr. Sood.

There are many alternative options, as well as traditional therapies, that can be helpful in treating anxiety. Just be sure to discuss any anxiety therapy you’re thinking of with your medical team, so that you aren’t using approaches that could counteract each other.

04/05/2010

Learn strategies to cope with being unemployed, plus steps to avoid or treat depression.

Losing your job can be a traumatic and unsettling event, especially in tough economic times when the prospect of finding new work seems slim. With unemployment rates rising and stories about layoffs, downsizing, and cutbacks in the news every day, the stress from losing a job may build to the point where your mental health suffers and you experience depression.

A job loss means a major change in your daily routine, losing contact with people from work, and perhaps a change in how you see yourself. For some people, losing a job may be as devastating as losing a loved one or going through a divorce, and you might even experience the same type of feelings, including anger, denial, and depression. Depression can be the result of many contributing factors that can sometimes be difficult to distinguish, but if you are unemployed and living with financial insecurity, your situation may be serious enough to bring about depression.

Research has shown that job loss may be related to depression not only because of the financial burden it brings, but also because it affects your social status, self-esteem, mental and physical activity, and the ability to use your skills. According to Luc Chabot, MEd, a psychotherapist in Montreal and founder of Relais Expert-Conseil, a firm specializing in workplace issues, how well a job loss is handled depends on many factors: age, financial situation, your ability to deal with stress, and any emotional disorders you might already have. Here are ways to help you cope, as well as what to do if you can no longer cope on your own.

8 Ideas for Coping With Job Loss and Avoiding Depression

Be realistic. Come to terms with why you lost your job. If you need to improve your skills to find a better job, now's the perfect time to get that training.

Manage your money. If you have the right to certain benefits, claim them as soon as you can to avoid getting behind financially. Make a plan for you and your family to reduce daily expenses.

Create a daily routine. Make a schedule of what you hope to accomplish each day, so that you maintain a regular routine. Include time for your job search, as well as exercise and leisure. Plan for the next day before you go to bed at night.

Get emotional support. Family, friends, and support groups can help you deal with the job loss. Speaking to people — networking — may help you find a new job.

Learn how to manage stress. Read a book or take a workshop. Meditate, visualize, and be patient by taking one step at a time.

Set everyday goals for yourself. Just going to the library or having lunch with a friend can help you build your confidence, maintain relationships, and stay healthy.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Limit your smoking and your alcohol and caffeine intake. A regular schedule, eating well, and exercise will keep you fit for the next job.

Getting Professional Help for Depression

If the above strategies don't help and your problems feel overwhelming, speak to your doctor about depression treatment. He or she may suggest management strategies, such as taking medication and/or talking to a mental health specialist (a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker). Here are some issues you may want to bring up at a meeting with a mental health professional:

What do you think causes stress in your life? Include long-term and short-term stressors.

How are your family and yourself affected by this stress?

Do you have support available to help get through your situation, or make a positive impact on your life?

Are there obstacles preventing you from reducing the stress?

Are you willing to make major changes to reduce the stressful situation?

Have you tried without success to resolve your situation?

Can you accept this current situation and get on with your life?

Finding a new job can be a roller-coaster ride. But remember that success doesn't happen overnight and that you are not alone in feeling blue or scared.

Chabot recommends that "you first help yourself before anyone else. Don't be afraid to ask for help and discuss your personal issues. If you [still have a job and] know that major changes are going to occur in your workplace, get ahead of the situation by meeting with a counselor or an expert as soon as you feel overwhelmed."

04/04/2010

Older people experience anxiety and anxiety disorders, often because of age-related stressors. Here's how caregivers can help them cope.

Feeling anxious or nervous when you're stressed out is common, but when this anxiety is frequent, overwhelming, and affects daily tasks, social life, and relationships, it may be an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorder can affect anyone at any age, and the elderly are no exception.

In fact, anxiety may affect as many as 10 to 20 percent of the older population, although it is often undiagnosed and often goes hand-in-hand with depression.

Anxiety Disorder: Why the Elderly Are Affected

"Although anxiety disorders beginning in later life are uncommon, the symptoms of anxiety are quite common in older adults," says George T. Grossberg, MD, professor and director of the division of geriatric psychiatry at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. "The main reason is that older adults are subjected to a variety of stresses and losses, any of which can cause or be accompanied by anxiety symptoms."

These stresses can include retirement, especially if it is sudden; loss or illness of a loved one; a decline in physical, cognitive, or emotional health; or financial concerns, explains Dr. Grossberg. Many older adults are also afraid of falling, being dependent on others, being left alone, and death.

Anxiety Disorder: Getting Needed Help for Loved Ones

Left untreated, anxiety and anxiety disorders can lead to other problems, such as cognitive impairment, poor physical health, and a poor quality of life. So have your loved one examined by a primary care physician if you suspect that he or she has an anxiety disorder. Fortunately, there are a variety of treatments available if an anxiety disorder is diagnosed:

Psychotherapy or counseling. A mental health professional, such as a geriatric psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker, can help determine what is causing the anxiety disorder and how to deal with its symptoms. "In many cases, a 'behavioral' approach, such as cognitive-behavior therapy, will give a person the tools to manage themselves," says Stephen Read, MD, a geriatric psychiatrist and clinical professor at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Medication. While drugs won't cure anxiety disorders, they can help control these disorders while your loved one is in therapy. The main medications used to treat anxiety disorders are antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, and beta-blockers. Antidepressants (specifically selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs) are preferred over anti-anxiety medication, as they are non-addicting and generally well-tolerated.

Stress reduction. Adopting stress management techniques, such as meditation, prayer, and deep breathing from the lower abdomen, can help lower anxiety. Yoga, progressive relaxation, and tai chi may also be beneficial, says Grossberg.

Getting better-quality sleep. A good night's rest may also help. "Sleep disorders are of course rampant in those with anxiety, and improving sleep, which often requires medicine, will be a big help," says Dr. Read.

Staying active. Activity of any kind, be it physical or intellectual, can ease anxiety symptoms. "Encouraging the use of routines, exercise and activity, and socialization may be useful. Relaxing activities and hobbies should be encouraged. Gardening, fishing, art, and music are particularly relaxing for some older adults," says Grossberg.

Avoiding triggers. Your loved one should avoid things that can aggravate the symptoms of anxiety disorders, such as caffeine, smoking, over-the-counter cold medications, and alcohol.

As a caregiver for an older person with anxiety or an anxiety disorder, the responsibility may be on you to ensure that your loved one is receiving treatment. Fortunately, there is much you can do to help.

03/29/2010

Breathing exercises are the mainstay of relaxation exercises that you can do anywhere, at any time. And they can make a world of difference in how you feel.

Try it: Take a deep, slow breath and exhale — and repeat the process one more time. Do you feel better?

Relaxation Exercises: Why They Work

When we are stressed, our muscles tighten up and our breathing changes and becomes shallow. As you breathe more lightly, you are participating in a vicious circle, because your body responds to your change in breathing with a fight-or-flight response, adding to your tension and stress.

So the most basic thing you can do when you start to feel stressed out is to stop and take some deep, even, slow breaths.

“If you sit and even just take five or 10 deep breaths and really try to just relax your breathing, that can be tremendously helpful,” says Mary Coussons-Read, PhD, professor of psychology and health and behavioral sciences and associate dean of the University of Colorado in Denver.

Relaxation Exercises: Exercises to Try

Here are some options that can enhance the relaxing effect of breathing exercises:

Try visualization. “Going to your happy place” is something we often joke about, but there is some truth in the humor. Coussons-Read advises planning ahead and creating an internal picture of a place that relaxes you so you can bring it to mind when you need it. Bedrooms and beaches top the list, but obviously your happy place is a personal destination. “Spend a little time creating what that picture looks like. When you feel stressed out, stop, put the picture in your head, take a few deep breaths,” she says.

Pray. Granted, not everyone has or wants a prayer life, but for those who do, Coussons-Read says prayer can be a very helpful relaxation exercise. “It can have the component of relaxation but also the component of feeling part of something else, and feeling like you’re not by yourself,” she says.

Exercise. Being physically active on a regular basis is helpful for overall stress management, but if time allows, you can use physical exercise for immediate relaxation as well. Taking a brief walk around your office building, doing some yoga stretches, or closing the door and dancing to a favorite tune can all help alleviate stress. But “you don’t want exercise to become just one more thing you have to do,” says Coussons-Read, so pick something you enjoy.

Mini-massage. “Once of the most important things is to recognize where and how you carry stress in your body — some carry it in shoulders, head, neck, jaw, hands, or even their stomach,” says Coussons-Read. Try scheduling an appointment with a massage therapist who can teach you how to take care of your trouble spots while at work or home.

Apply heat. If you have the option of a warm bath or shower, or simply have some warming gloves, socks, or heat packs, use the heat to help relax tight muscles.

Aromatherapy. Although research on aromatherapy is mixed, many people find certain scents, such as lavender, to be relaxing. If you respond well to the smell, have a sample on hand (in a desk drawer or your purse) for a relaxing sniff as needed before or after your breathing exercises.

As hard as everyone works these days, we all deserve a time out now and then to calm our nerves and decompress. Relaxation exercises can help us stay productive and happy.

When you're the caregiver of a loved one with a chronic condition, you're putting your health at risk if you ignore your own needs. Learn how to make it a top priority to take care of yourself.

As the caregiver for a loved one who lives with a chronic condition, you’ve taken on a major commitment. Besides handling your own everyday stress and responsibilities, you're now taking on the physical responsibilities of a person who is sick. You're also shouldering the emotional consequences of watching someone you love manage an illness. Your stress levels may be far beyond what most people handle or can even imagine.

It’s time to get your stress under control.

Stress and the Caregiver: Maintain a Healthy Body

It's important to keep yourself as physically healthy as you can when you're a caregiver. That means getting much-needed sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. Turning to alcohol or medication for stress relief is not a good way to handle caregiver stress, says Sally R. Connolly, a social worker and therapist with the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Louisville, Ky.

If you neglect your physical health, you may be the next one in your family who needs caregiving. Caregiver stress is associated with an increased risk of chronic conditions including arthritis, diabetes, heart disease, and even cancer. You're also more likely to develop an illness because your immune system is run down.

Stress and the Caregiver: Maintain a Healthy Mind

Your mental health has a big impact on your physical health and your ability to be a good caregiver. Recent research confirms that caregivers are at greater risk of having mental health issues and less physical energy than non-caregivers.

"Recognize that this is stressful and find time to care for your own needs. Look for ways to find support and ask for help. Many times, others want to help — they just don’t know how. Be very specific about what you need," says Connolly.

Connolly offers these suggestions to help you keep stress to a minimum and take care of your emotional health:

Join a support group.

Get educated about your loved one's illness.

Ask for help from other family members, health professionals, or resources within your community.

Take frequent breaks from your caregiving role.

Stay connected to your friends and life outside of being a caregiver.

Talk to your loved one, if you can, about what's appropriate for you to help with, and what he should still try to do on his own.

Accept the fact that you can't do everything, and do what you can.

Stress and the Caregiver: Getting Over Guilt

Many caregivers feel guilty, and this can be for a variety of reasons. You may feel guilty that you're the healthy one, or guilty about the other emotions that you often feel, such as anger, frustration, or disappointment. You may feel that you're not doing enough or devoting enough time to your loved one. All of these feelings are normal, but Connolly says guilt isn't helpful.

"Acknowledge that guilt gets in the way of doing what you can do," says Connolly. “It takes up too much energy, and energy is at a premium when you’re a caregiver. Appreciate what you do and can do, and focus more on that than on what you cannot do."

Stress and the Caregiver: The Benefits of Caregiving

Though you may feel too swamped and stressed to realize it, caregiving can be a wonderful thing for you and your loved one.

"Some adult caregivers find a new respect for their own well-being through the experience of taking care of someone else," says Connolly. And if you're a caregiver for your parents, you can experience a whole new side to that relationship.

"Grown adults who take care of their elderly parents often forge new relationships with them," says Connolly. "Spending so much time with an aging parent means incredible powers of bonding in many situations." This can include healing any old wounds or misunderstandings, and getting a richer sense of who your parent really is.

Being a caregiver doesn't mean completely giving up your own life, but it does mean that you will be making some changes. Focus on the benefits of being a caregiver, but always take time to care for your own health. Stress can sneak up on you, so stay on top of it to be the best caregiver you can be — and that's all anyone can ask.

03/05/2010

Getting a handle on everyday stress can help you better manage the pain you're experiencing.

It's easy to get stressed out when the pressures of work, family, and everyday life are weighing on you. These stresses can have not only an emotional impact, they can cause physical pain as well.

Stress and pain are often closely linked. Each one can have an impact on the other, creating a vicious cycle that sets the stage for chronic pain and chronic stress. So, part of getting pain relief is learning how to better manage stress.

"Lots of studies support the conclusion that what happens in the brain — depression, anxiety, being stressed out — can increase pain. At the same time, if you have more pain, you may be more stressed," says Jennifer Schneider, MD, PhD, a chronic-pain specialist and author of the book Living With Chronic Pain. "Each makes the other worse, so if you decrease pain, you'll likely also decrease stress and anxiety."

Pain Relief: Understanding the Stress-Pain ConnectionIt's not completely clear yet to researchers how stress and pain are related. However, stressed-out people often experience neck, shoulder, and back pain. This could be due to the link between stress and tension in the muscles. It could also be related to brain chemicals.

To allow us to keep functioning despite pain, the brain tries to maintain balance when it receives pain signals by minimizing these signals, says Steven Stanos, DO, medical director of the Center for Pain Management at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago, and assistant professor in the department of physical medicine and rehabilitation at Northwestern University Medical School. But chronic stress can offset this balance.

"Because pain [is regulated by] the nervous system, the brain is a key player in how we perceive pain," says Dr. Stanos. "The brain is always trying to inhibit pain signals. But if you're stressed, simply put, the brain's ability to filter these pain signals is affected in a bad way and pain can be increased."

Pain Relief: Start With Stress Relief One thing is clear: for many people, stress relief, be it avoiding stress or learning how to cope with it, can lead to pain relief.

"Patients need to manage their stress to be in the best psychological state to benefit from other therapies," says Carmen Green, MD, associate professor of anesthesiology and director of pain medicine research at the University of Michigan Health System in Ann Arbor.

Try these tips:

Get moving. Being active can help decrease stress levels. "Make exercise a priority, whether it's 30 minutes on an exercise bike or going to the gym four times a week," says Stanos. Other stress-relieving activities can include walking or pool therapy. Consult with a doctor first if you're concerned about how exercise may impact your pain.

Get more restful sleep. Proper sleep can also help you cope with stress. "Restorative sleep can help you better face the turmoil of the day. So get enough sleep and better quality sleep," says Dr. Green. "We know sleep impacts healing."

Find a balance. Our schedules are often packed, with little down time. Take the time to examine your daily routine and modify it for better stress control. "Identify leisure things you like to do and make them a bigger part of your daily routine," Green suggests.

Chill out. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, guided imagery, andmeditation can essentially force you to relax and decrease stress levels. Once you've learned these techniques you can do them on your own at any time throughout your day.

Seek support. Evaluation by a mental health professional, whether it's a social worker with expertise in pain or a pain psychologist or psychiatrist, can also help you deal with stress and provide pain relief, says Green.

Recurrent pain can definitely affect your quality of life, but learning how to cope with stress can help you manage that pain and lessen its harmful impact.

02/25/2010

The effects of stress on your emotional and physical health may be worse than you thought.

Although female sex hormones and brain chemistry offer some protection from stress, women are more deeply affected by the physical and emotional effects of stress than men.

Women’s reactions to stress are rooted in their body chemistry. Men have higher androgen levels, while women have higher estrogen levels, says Paul J. Rosch, MD, FACP, president of the American Institute of Stress (AIS). “Their brains are also wired differently,” says Dr. Rosch, who is also a clinical professor of medicine and psychiatry at New York Medical College, and honorary vice president of the International Stress Management Association. “Women tend to react to stress differently than men. They don’t respond with the fight or flight response — they’re more apt to negotiate.”

Stress: How Women Are AffectedThe effects of the anti-stress hormone oxytocin, produced during childbirth, breastfeeding, and in both sexes during orgasm, are enhanced by estrogen and reduced by testosterone, which helps women more than men, Rosch says. And nurturing activities boost oxytocin levels in women. The catch-22 is that women need more oxytocin than men to maintain their emotional health. For example, Rosch explains, women are more negatively affected when they’re not touched, and also feel more stress than men in relationships.

According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), stress is an expression of the body’s natural instinct to protect itself. While this may warn a woman of immediate danger, like a fast-approaching car, prolonged stress effects can negatively affect your physical and emotional health.

“Our stress response was exquisitely honed over millions of years as a protective mechanism,” said Rosch. “That was OK for our ancestors who ran into saber-toothed tigers. The tragedy is that today, it’s not that, but hundreds of things like getting stuck in traffic jams. Our bodies respond in the same unfortunate fashion, with hypertension, strokes, and ulcers.”

Stress Effects: The Physical Side“Your stress may vary, but if you have stress with your work, your kids, your neighbors, and marriage all at once, that’s a big deal,” said Lori Heim, MD, president-elect of the AAFP and a hospitalist (a family physician who works only in a hospital) at Scotland Memorial Hospital in Laurinburg, N.C. “In women, I see this in changes in menstrual patterns — nothing else is going on except a huge increase in stress, and all of a sudden, they may be losing their hair or having menstrual irregularities, and everything points to stress as a factor.”

The AIS reports that some surveys show 75 to 90 percent of visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related complaints. According to the National Women’s Health Information Center, the effects of stress on women’s physical and emotional health can range from headaches to irritable bowel syndrome. Specific stress effects include:

Eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia are 10 times more common in women than in men, says Rosch, and this may have something to do with stress levels. Like depression, this illness has been linked to low levels of serotonin and is often treated with serotonin-boosting antidepressant drugs.

Stomach ailments. Stress can make you reach for junk or comfort foods, or upset your stomach to the point that you feel like you can’t eat. Common stress-related stomach troubles include cramps, bloating, heartburn, and even irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Depending on how you respond, these can lead to weight loss or weight gain.

Skin reactions. Stress can lead to breakouts and even itchy rashes and hives in some people.

Emotional conditions. From being in a blue or irritable mood to more serious mental issues like depression, your emotional health suffers when there’s stress in your life. Women are better than men at hiding some emotions like anger and aggressiveness because the parts of their brains responsible for these emotions are larger than men's, but depression strikes women twice as often as men, says Rosch, adding, “The emotional effects of stress on women can range from postpartum depression after pregnancy to depression after menopause.”

Sleep problems. Trouble falling or staying asleep is common in women affected by stress, and this is particularly counterproductive since a good night’s sleep can help ease stress.

Concentration difficulty. Stress makes it hard to focus and be effective in your responsibilities at home or work, and that can compound your problems if your stress comes from your job to begin with.

Heart disease. The stress of competing in today’s job market has increased women’s heart disease risk, Rosch says. Stress can negatively affect the entire cardiovascular system, and lead to high blood pressure, stroke, and heart attack.

Lowered immune response. One of the more complicated physical reactions to stress is your body’s lessened ability to fight off disease, whether it’s a cold or a flare-up of a chronic condition.

Cancer. Some studies have suggested a link between stress and the development of breast and ovarian cancer. In one study, researchers found that the risk of breast cancer was increased by 62 percent in women who had experienced more than one highly stressful life event, like divorce or the death of a spouse.

Stress Effects: Stress-Lowering Techniques Rosch points out that working women who are also raising families are smoking and drinking more than ever before — these aren’t healthy ways to deal with stress. He suggests the following three tips to help reduce the effects of stress:

Make time for exercise. “We do know that exercise is a phenomenal way of dealing with stress and depression,” said Dr. Heim. Research shows that getting active can lift your spirits and increase the release of endorphins, a natural chemical associated with mood.

Find fun ways to relax. Connect with family and friends and people you enjoy being around. Rediscover favorite hobbies; recent studies link a resurgence in knitting and needlepoint to their stress-reducing effects. Other popular stress-busters include yoga, meditation, and tai chi.

Finally, if you feel overwhelmed by stress and its effects, talk to your doctor about ways to deal with it. You may learn new techniques for managing stress on your own, or you may find that therapy with a mental health professional will better help you to get it all under control.

02/15/2010

If you're considering adopting a puppy, kitten, or other pet – or if you already own one – then you know about the companionship and fun pets add to your life. But in addition, owning a pet can boost your health.

Pets: The Physical Benefits

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,pets are good for cardiovascular health: Owning a pet can decrease your blood pressure and lower your cholesterol and triglyceride levels. Studies have also found that pet owners are more likely than people without pets to survive after hospitalization for a heart attack, and that owning a pet lowers anxiety and decreases feelings of loneliness and depression.

Pets also help keep their owners fit, since they increase opportunities for exercise and outdoor activities. In a study conducted by the University of Missouri in Columbia, researchers encouraged dog owners to walk their dog for 10 minutes three times a week, and gradually increase to 20 minutes five times a week over the course of a year. The dog walkers lost an average of 14 pounds.

The Pet-Human Bond

Pets can increase the opportunity for socialization — they're a natural topic of conversation and offer a chance to connect with other pet lovers. "Having a pet increases your mental acuity," says Kelly Connolly, M.S., a companion-animals specialist with the Humane Society of the United States. "Remembering to walk and feed your pet exercises your brain, and it increases your sense of responsibility, which is important to people."

The emotional bond between an owner and a dog, cat, or other pet can be as intense as those between humans, and it may offer many of the same psychological benefits. Caring for an animal offers a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Many pet owners believe their pets express a range of emotions. Dr. Stephanie LaFarge, senior director of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Counseling Services, says it is "normal and natural to project human emotions onto animals, even if you know better."

Choosing The Best Pet For You

"Before you get a pet, decide honestly what you want in one," says LaFarge. Some people want to have a more active lifestyle, some desire companionship, and others are looking for protection. In any case, you as the owner should work to foster a genuine relationship with your pet. Take into account what you will be able to handle, in terms of time, attention, and activity. "Regardless of your age and abilities, you will reap the benefits of a pet if you pick the right one for your lifestyle," says Connolly.

02/06/2010

You can relearn how to feel good about yourself by following your depression treatment plan and taking better care of your needs.

Almost everyone experiences a bout of low self-esteem at some point in life. But for some, especially those suffering withdepression, chronic low self-esteem can be a debilitating symptom that spirals out of control, keeping you from enjoying life and accomplishing the things you want to do.

Low Self-Esteem: How Does It Happen?

A person can create his own low self-esteem cycle, or events that occur can bring it on. The former happens when you judge yourself harshly, telling yourself that you are worthless. As for the latter, dealing with a stressful situation such as a disability or a loss of a job can make it hard to feel good about yourself. How others treat you, as well as how you get along with others, can also affect your self-esteem.

It may not always be possible to control your inner thoughts. And you often have no control over the events that unfold in your life. But if you suffer from low self-esteem, there are things you can do to boost your self-image.

Low Self-Esteem: How to Fight It

Often, traditional treatments for depression, such as medication and psychotherapy, can help. Getting into a therapy or support group is the first thing people who are depressed should do to boost their self-esteem, says Julie Walther Scheibel, a counselor at Concordia Seminary Counseling and Resource Center in St. Louis.

Besides following your doctor’s recommendations, here are other steps to consider that may improve low self-esteem:

Get some exercise. Walther Scheibel recommends exercise for people who are dealing with low self-esteem as a symptom of depression. Making exercise a part of your regular routine can help you feel better emotionally and physically.

Eat a healthful diet. Avoiding foods high in sugar, fat, or salt, and eating fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and low-fat dairy products is an important part of taking good care of yourself — the healthier you feel, the better you will feel about yourself.

Make the time to participate in activities you enjoy. Carve out time each day to do something you really like, such as listening to music, playing a musical instrument, or working on a craft project. Enjoyable activities can make you feel better, thereby improving your low self-esteem.

Be productive. Completing everyday tasks like cleaning your kitchen, organizing your junk drawer, getting your laundry done, or paying your bills on time will give you a sense of accomplishment.

Stay connected socially. Even though it can sometimes be difficult just to get out of bed when you are depressed, it can help to spend time with people who are good to you and who can make you feel good about yourself.

Practice good self-care. Shower regularly, brush your teeth, dress in nice clothes, keep your hair trimmed, and do other things that make you more confident about your physical appearance. Feeling better about how you look on the outside will leave you feeling better inside.

Depression can make it hard to find the energy and motivation to take care of yourself. But taking time to focus on you can improve your self-esteem and make you feel better all around.

02/04/2010

If you spend your day telling yourself that you're worthless, don't be surprised if you end up depressed. Affirmations — speaking positively to yourself — can induce change in you.

How you talk to yourself matters. Repeating positive and uplifting statements, known as affirmations, can be beneficial to both your physical and emotional health.

Affirmations: The Power Within

There is strong evidence that repeatedly thinking about negative events or personal qualities can increase stress and depression and worsen physical health. In contrast, repeatedly thinking about positive qualities can:

“Affirmations definitely have a pretty major impact, and [they're] one of the most popular ways of inducing situational change in people’s thoughts, ways, and behaviors,” explains Harry Wallace, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas.

In a way, affirmations are an antidote to negative self-talk. Negative self-talk involves focusing on your weaknesses, failures, less attractive qualities, and so on. These kinds of thoughts are more likely when you are already feeling down or in a tough situation, such as after losing a job. At these times, negative thoughts are normal, but they can speed some people towards depression and make it hard to take action.

Affirmations: Using Them in Your Life

Affirmations can help you get through stressful times.

“If [you use an affirmation] prior to having encountered some kind of threatening feedback, it creates a buffer where you are able to tolerate it,” says Wallace, who adds that people who are "self-affirmed" are more willing to accept or even invite feedback about themselves because "they can handle it." Similarly, people who must perform under pressure can benefit from affirmations, which ease some of the stress.

Affirmations: A Caution

While it’s a good idea to consider your positive qualities and the positives in your life, even in difficult circumstances, remember that some “negative” thoughts can actually be helpful as well. Worry is one of those. A little bit of worry can spur you to take action, so you don’t need to counter productive worry with affirmations.

Wallace points out that, as with worry, there are times when a realistic assessment of your situation is helpful. For example, while an appropriate affirmation (such as “I am prepared for my speech and my audiences generally respond well to my style”) can get you through the pressure of public speaking, you may want to prepare the speech without affirmations that could slightly distort your ability to see what changes need to be made.

Affirmations: Creating Them

Affirmations are personal to your situation and your needs. When creating an affirmation, think of the positive message that you need to hear based on your situation. Here are some examples:

Affirmations that help to prepare for stress. Wallace says that if you are about to receive feedback from an employer or client that you suspect might not be as good as you’d like, try an affirmation like, “I am a valuable person regardless of what happens with this situation.”

Affirmations that conquer stress. Use three or more affirmations that you repeat daily to get through a difficult time, such as job loss and job seeking, such as, "I am valuable" or "I have something to contribute."

Affirmations that support an overall goal. If you are having a hard time achieving a specific goal, affirmations that remind you of positive aspects of yourself related to that goal can make success more likely. For example, if you are trying to write a novel, you might want to use affirmations like, “I am a creative person” or “I am capable of meeting my deadlines” as positive and encouraging thoughts (instead of negative observations like, “I'll never finish this novel!”)

Affirmations should be abstract or concrete as the situation requires. A statement that supports an abstract positive quality (“I am a valued team player”) is helpful in getting you to look beyond an immediate frustration, but an affirmation of a concrete skill (“I am an excellent translator of French”) can be helpful if you need confidence in a particular area.

With practice, you will be better able to craft the kinds of affirmations that are most helpful to you, says Wallace. Be kind to yourself. Focus on your strengths and abilities when you are feeling vulnerable.

01/29/2010

One of the simplest ways to begin coping in a crisis, or to just get through the stresses of an ordinary day, has been there all along: Breathe. Dorothy could've gotten home long ago with the help of her ruby slippers; you may find that simply breathing, with focus and attention, helps more than you imagine.

You've probably heard a thrown-off "Just remember to breathe" as you were entering a tough situation. Easily ignored, but there's wisdom there. Increasingly, that wisdom has been brought into mental health settings in the form of mindfulnessmeditation. An alphabet soup of evidence-basedtherapy approaches–ACT, DBT, MBCBT–include mindfulness as a crucial component. Studies are showing mindfulness actually works.

The essence of mindfulness practice is focusing on one thing in the moment. That one thing could be an activity (eating, walking), or a sensation (seeing, feeling, hearing), but the core of mindfulness practice is attending to each breath.

It generally goes something like this: Sit comfortably, your hands resting in your lap. If you're in a chair, try resting your feet flat on the floor. Now, turn your attention to your breath. Notice what it's like to breathe in–your stomach rising–and to breathe out–your stomach falling. Breathe regularly, noticing the sensation of each breath, one at a time. Your attention is likely to stray. Notice where your mind has wandered, and, without judgment, gently return your focus to your breath. One breath at a time.

Simple as that. But hard to do. Try it for a minute. Set a timer, if you like. Gradually extend the time–to three minutes, to five, and on up. Some suggest a 45-minute daily practice. But just a single focused breath can have an impact. (I admit, I'm more of a single-breath than 45-minute-session type.)

For many, silent meditation doesn't do the trick–there are too many distractions, external and internal. Here are some variations:

1) Count each breath. After ten breaths, start back at one. Try not to keep a count of how many sets of 10 you've completed. The idea is to give yourself a break, accept how you are right now, and not to compete with an idea of how things should be done. How you're breathing is how you're breathing. Still distracted? You might try counting each inhalation and each exhalation ("In one, out one...in two, out two.." and so on). That may be more likely to fend off nagging thoughts or distractions.

2) Forget all of the above. Instead, do a set of short, rapid inhalations, filling up your abdomen like a hand pump. Hold the breath for a moment. Then slowly breathe out. Hold there, then repeat.

Try 9 breaths in, hold for a 2-count, out for a 12-count, hold before inhaling for another 2-count. Or choose your own numbers. People argue about this sort of thing, but if there's hard science on the difference between a 9 versus a 12 inbreath count, I haven't heard of it.

3) Very simplest: Just take a deep breath. And then another. One more. Then go back to what you were doing. It's like taking a cigarette break without the nicotine and tar.

Give it a shot; it's free. See what works for you. And share it: If you've got a breathing routine that works, please post in it comments. No matter the approach, by stopping to take a breath, you get a break from distraction and get to simply be, if only for a few seconds.

The key to conquering stress during tough times is to gain a sense of control over the situation. Create a plan, keep things in perspective, and seek help when you are feeling overwhelmed.

If you are feeling stressed by the current economic situation, the best thing you can do is try to regain a sense of control over your emotions, finances, and life, say the experts.

Stress and the Economy: Advice From a Financial Planner

The first thing you should do is turn off the TV business news, says Ivan M. Illan, director of financial planning at Michel Financial Group in Los Angeles. “Markets by their very nature are extremely volatile, even in so-called 'good times,'" says Illan. “Business television exploits natural market cycles in higher viewership to justify higher advertising rates.”

Next, control your emotions. “We are driven primarily by emotion. The institutional investors know this and often make higher profits during times of fear, preying on the emotionally charged investing public,” says Illan. Profiting from fear and anxiety is taught in business school, he says — the more trades, the more commissions. So don’t fall into this trap.

“Stay committed to your investment plan,” Illan says. And continue to save as you did when times were good.

Two other pieces of advice: Do not invest anywhere, including in bonds, until you’ve saved six months' worth of cash to cover basic living expenses in case of emergency. And the risk of taking out a loan for retraining or acquiring another degree is worth it, he says.

“Training for advancement or career change is a good idea, regardless of the economic [climate]," says Illan. "Areas that are highest in demand continue to be health care and financial services, driven primarily by the baby boomers’ needs as they approach retirement.”

Stress and the Economy: Advice From a Psychologist

“You may not be able to control the stock market, but there is still a lot you can do to gain a sense of control,” says Mary Coussons-Read, PhD, professor of psychology and health and behavioral science and associate dean at the University of Colorado in Denver.

To put the lid on stress, sleep well, exercise a lot, and eat healthy meals. Coussons-Read also suggests that you do the following to keep your cool during tough economic times:

Create a budget. Even though creating a new budget might mean giving up a few things that you don’t want to give up, doing so will give you an important sense of control over your finances, which ultimately means less stress.

Regain perspective. Take a break from your stressed daily life to volunteer. “It can help you remember that there are persons who are worse off than you are,” says Coussons-Read. It’s also a good way to use your time and, possibly, keep using your skills if you are job hunting.

Socialize. It’s important to seek out other people for fun and conversation, says Coussons-Read. If you only want to be with other people who are equally stressed out about finances and jobs, it shouldn’t be too hard to find them. The American Psychological Association reports that four out of five Americans (at least) worry about money and the economy. Check local community listings online or in the newspaper to see which groups are meeting when. It is also a good idea to hang out with people who you can have fun with and not just talk about your financial woes.

Stress and the Economy: Coping With Job Loss

Millions of people are not just watching their budgets shrink, they are also job hunting. Besides taking the steps listed above to reduce your stress during turbulent economic times, you may also want to:

Consider the positives. “People may feel that losing a job reflects badly on them,” says Coussons-Read. “Even though you lost your job, there are a lot of things in your life that are going well — you have a skill set, you are healthy, you’re a good parent, you’re a good son or daughter, and so on.” Instead of dwelling on the negative, think about the positivecontributions you make.

Create a plan. Make a plan as to how you will find a job and manage your finances. If you need help doing this, ask for it.

Consider starting a business or consulting. Maybe you don’t need an employer, at least for the short term. If you have marketable skills, you may be able to find contract employment or temporary work through people you know.

Stress during difficult times is normal. It is what motivates you to find a solution. But, too much stress is bad for your physical and emotional health. If you have tried many or all of these ideas and are still feeling excessively stressed, you may need to seek professional help.

01/21/2010

Spending time with friends is fun, but it may also yield a multitude of long-term physical and emotional healthbenefits. Studies show that healthy relationships make aging more enjoyable, lessen grief, and provide camaraderie to help you reach personal goals, among other things. Maintaining positive relationships should rank up there with healthy eating and exercise as a necessary investment in your health.

Friends and Well-Being

A number of studies have highlighted the importance of friends and good relationships to health, Here are some of the findings:

Socially engaged adults age more successfully. According to surveys of women over age 60, those who are socially engaged and visit with friends and family throughout the week are happier as they age.

Friends can help you achieve your weight and fitness goals. Encouragement and just sharing goes a long way to boosting your willpower.

Happiness is catching. If you have a friend you consider to be happy, you are more likely to be happy and you are able to spread that happiness to the people around you. A study of 4,739 adults who participated in the Framingham Heart Study between 1983 and 2003 showed that people tend to cluster into happy or unhappy groups, and happiness appears to spread not just to those immediately inside the social group, but to their contacts as well. Having happy friends who live less than a mile away was an especially powerful predictor of happiness.

Building a circle of friends makes you happy. People who see themselves as a leader in their social circle are happier than those who see themselves as outsiders — another reason why actively building relationships instead of waiting for the phone to ring is important.

Friends lessen grief. A series of interviews with parents who lost a baby during pregnancy or immediately after birth showed that those who felt they were receiving social support from friends or family were better able to cope with their grief. The most welcome forms of support were simply being physically present, listening, and offering sympathy, encouragement, and practical help, such as making meals or funeral arrangements. In contrast, feeling socially alone tends to worsen grief.

Being social boosts your immune system. Being socially engaged leads to more positive emotions, which in turn may actually boost your body’s immune system and reduce the physical signs of stress, say health experts.

The Friends You Choose Make a Difference

While it is possible for one happy person to spread happiness to their friends, the reverse is also true — a mildly or chronically depressed friend can bring you down as well. It helps to have a diverse group of friends to lessen this impact.

It's also important to be a good friend yourself, providing others with as many of the benefits of friendship (infectious happiness, social support, someone to confide in, food in times of crisis) as you can. It feels good to help others, and that only adds to your own happiness.

01/19/2010

Improved mood and quality of life, stress relief, and healing from trauma are just a few of the many benefits of massage therapy.

Massage can provide stress relief for just about anyone, from preterm babies to the elderly. Yet the benefits of massage go beyond stress relief. Moderate-pressure massage for as little as 15 minutes may offer relief from depression, anger, and anxiety.

“It’s never fun to let stress bring you to your breaking point! Just as we take our cars in for regular tune-ups, we too need maintenance,” says massage therapist Kristen Sykora, LMT, owner of Harmony Healthcare Associates and Hands Down Physical Arts, Inc. in Wantagh, NY. “Massage therapy decreases the amount of stress in the body by [relaxing] muscles, flushing out the waste products from the muscles, and increasing the ‘feel-good’ hormones.”

Massage Therapy and Stress Relief: Emotional Health Benefits

If you’ve been in the hands of a good massage therapist, you already know how your body responds with stress relief. But the physiological response goes deeper than blissful relaxation.

“Massage therapy can improve a person’s emotional health by reducing stress and stress hormones; by increasing serotonin and thereby reducing depression and pain; and by enhancing immune function and thereby reducing bacterial and viral illnesses,” explains Tiffany Field, PhD, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine in Miami, Fla.

Field’s research team has shown that massage relieves stress for preterm infants in the neonatal intensive care unit. Three 15-minute full-body massages each day for five days lead to a significant reduction in stress-related behaviors in this vulnerable population. Massage has also been shown to help preterm babies gain weight faster.

Research has also shown that:

Six 30-minute massages over a two-week period can ease pain and improve mood among people with advanced cancer.

Massage can help reduce depression in both children and pregnant women. As little as 15 minutes of massage on a regular basis may be beneficial to mood.

Massage therapy is helpful for trauma victims. “Aside from physical pain, victims of trauma, past or present, will often hold memories of such events in their muscle tissues. By receiving massage from a trained professional, one can get back in touch with their body and be able to access the held emotions,” says Sykora.

Massage is not just a way to gain stress relief — you can reduce many of the other unpleasant emotions in your life as well. “Many studies show that massage therapy reduces negative mood states like depression, anxiety, and anger and their associated stress hormones,” says Field.

Massage Therapy and Stress Relief: Finding a Massage Therapist

Most massage therapists can provide the kind of massage you will need to help with depression,anger, anxiety, and stress relief. “Moderate pressure is the key factor for massage therapy to be effective. Any type of massage therapist who uses moderate pressure should be able to help with mood management,” says Field.

“We often go through our day without any recognition of how our bodies are responding to the stress we experience,” says Sykora, who advises regular massage sessions as well as a meditation practice for optimal stress management. “Massage treatments give us a time-out in order for us to access the deeper layers of our well-being, allowing the therapist to unwind the holding patterns in our tissues.”

So don’t be afraid to indulge in a massage every now and then — it's good for your emotional well-being and your physical health.

01/17/2010

People who pray for health-related reasons are not necessarily relying solely on spirituality for an answer.

Watching a parent, child, sibling, or any other loved one suffer from a serious illness or go under the knife can be frightening. Perhaps you've said a silent prayer for them before they headed into surgery or started another round of chemotherapy. In fact, many hospitals have chapels for prayer and meditation. But is there really a link between prayer and health?

Prayer and Health: Ways to Cope

You may not think of prayer as a form of alternative medicine. But many Americans rely on prayer as a method of coping with health-related issues. A 2004 study found that 43 percent of Americans prayed for their own health and about 25 percent felt they benefited from other people's prayers.

So far, scientific research has not supported the idea that prayer can improve one's health. In 2007, researchers compiling the results of previous studies on distant intercessory prayer — in essence, when people pray for you without your knowledge — found that this had no measurable effect and probably didn't warrant further study. Researchers can run into other challenges, as each person defines spirituality and prayer differently.

However, that doesn't mean that other types of prayer couldn't help when you're having health problems, says Kevin Masters, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Syracuse University in Syracuse, N.Y. The National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine is funding several studies probing how prayer is linked with health and wellness. For example, one study in New York City is examining how spirituality affects the immune system and well-being of terminally sick cancer patients.

Prayer and Health: One Family's Story

Even though Sue Ellen Braunlin, MD, and her family were caught up in a life-or-death situation, she just didn't feel like she had the right to pray for help. That was 13 years ago. Today, she recalls having been so privileged all her life that it was hard to ask for something special back then — she says she felt very undeserving.

Her newborn daughter, Marta, was born with a serious heart defect. The doctors sent the baby home, waiting to see if she'd be a suitable candidate for the surgeries needed to address the problem. Dr. Braunlin — herself an anesthesiologist in Indianapolis, Ind. — spent the next few months desperately trying to help her baby thrive, without getting the answers she wanted from the doctors.

Over the coming years, she began to ask for help through prayer. At first, she didn't find her "own prayer voice," and she got a lot of strength from other people praying for her and Marta in those early days.

Prayer and Good Health: Aid in Troubled Times

In the 1990s, social scientists might have presumed that people who prayed for health reasons would be putting their fate completely into God's hands and not taking helpful steps on their own, says Dr. Masters, who studies spirituality and health.

"That's not the assumption you'd find today, and there's a little bit of data to suggest that if people do care enough to pray, they might be more likely to go to the doctor, to get a checkup, or to take their medicine," he says. In other words, if you're going to the trouble of focusing your thoughts on improving your health, your actions may follow.

In addition, if you ask your congregation for their prayers, "you've announced that you have a need, and generally speaking, people are going to respond to that," Masters says. Beyond praying for you, congregation members may also offer you a ride to the doctor or do other helpful favors that may make you feel better.

Saying a Prayer for Good Health: Support System

Braunlin began attending services at United Church of Christ in Indianapolis after Marta's first surgery. When Marta underwent her next surgery at 18 months of age, Braunlin's pastor stayed at the hospital for six hours. As Braunlin recalls, the experience went much better.

By the time Marta required a third surgery at the age of 5, her mother realized that she had needs and a right to say what she needed. Braunlin says that even with all of the blessings in her life, praying about worrisome things felt liberating. "It made it a lot easier for me to ask my friends and family for the help I needed, and it gave me strength the third time around."

01/15/2010

Depression can drain all the color out of your life, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless. Those who have major depression struggle to overcome these feelings, often with the help of others.

However, there are many things you can do yourself to help cope with your depression. These activities and habits might not completely cure your depression, but they can make a positive impact and offer hope.

Depression: Self-Help Strategies

Seeking treatment for your depression is an important step on the road to recovery. Treatments like psychotherapy and medication require the input of health care professionals, knowledgeable about the condition. However, you can also help yourself by following a few self-help strategies:

Exercise. Researchers have found that physical activity can work as well as antidepressants in reducing fatigue and helping you feel energized and alive. Exercise relaxes muscle tension, relieves stress, and prompts the release of calming and mood-enhancing hormones and neurotransmitters in the body.

To help ease your depression, try to exercise for at least 30 minutes every day. Remember that exercise does not have to be intense to have a positive effect on your mood. If you're time-challenged, try to squeeze in even short sessions — 10 minutes of physical activity has been shown to improve a person's mood for at least two hours. Take the stairs instead of the elevator or enjoy a walk around your neighborhood.

Sleep. A lack of sleep can make you feel fatigued and irritable, creating or enhancing feelings of depression. Experts recommend that everyone get seven to nine hours of sleep every night. If you're getting less than that, you're not doing your depression any good. If you're getting more than nine hours, you need to set your alarm, drag yourself out of bed, and become more active.

Eat better. A poor diet can alter your mood considerably. Experts recommend you follow a diet that's high in fiber and low in fats by eating plenty of fruits and vegetables. Choose whole-grain foods that contain slow-burning complex carbohydrates instead of products made with processed flour and simple sugars. Try to eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids (like salmon and herring), as they've been shown to improve mood. Boost your intake of B vitamins and chromium, two supplements that have also been shown to improve mood. And don't skip any meals — being hungry can leave you tired and cranky.

Socialize more. Getting out with friends and family can be a powerful tonic for depression. Participating in social activities keeps you from retreating into yourself and can be good for many laughs. Don't be afraid to ask trusted friends for help when you're feeling depressed. Share your feelings with them and ask for their support. You also might consider joining a depression support group, where you can talk out your emotions and gain insight from others.

Reduce stress. Figure out what's causing stress in your life and work to eliminate or minimize those triggers. If you're facing a big challenge, break it up into a number of smaller and more achievable tasks. Plan ahead and say "no" if anyone's asking too much of you. Participate in stress management techniques such as yoga, tai chi, or meditation. And take it easy on yourself — set realistic goals and be forgiving if you don't meet them.

Stay positive. Depression can cause you to view the world through blue-colored glasses, always finding the negative side of everything. Oppose that world view — consider your negative thoughts and how easily they can become positive messages. For example, rather than bemoaning a big duty your boss has given you, think about the trust and confidence she must have in you.

You can do a lot to help yourself overcome some of the debilitating effects of depression and start living, and enjoying, life again.

It may seem hard to get a grip on anxiety during a panic attack, but learning the right techniques can help you get your anxiety back under control.

Panic attacks can be terrifying. These attacks stem from profound anxiety that can make your heart pound and your knees go weak. Panic attacks can make it difficult to catch your breath and can also cause chest pain and dizziness — you may even think you're having a heart attack. A panic attack may only last a few minutes, but it can leave you feeling frightened and uneasy.

Understanding Panic Attacks

A panic attack and its symptoms of tremendous anxiety can strike suddenly, out of the blue. While a panic attack itself may be brief, it can lead to a lasting fear of having another episode. When panic attacks and the fear of having attacks occur repeatedly, people are said to have a panic disorder, a type of anxiety disorder.

"People have these panic attacks under various circumstances,” explains Martin N. Seif, PhD, a clinical psychologist in New York City and Greenwich, Conn. They constantly worry about having an attack and may avoid certain situations as a result. Eventually, people with panic disorder may realize that they aren't actually afraid of the situation they're avoiding, but rather of experiencing additional panic attacks, notes Seif.

Fortunately, you don’t have to live in fear of panic attacks. There are specific strategies you can use to help manage your anxiety and control your physical symptoms as well.

Panic Attacks: How to Take Control

The best way to stave off future panic attacks is by learning how to control your anxiety so that if you do start to notice symptoms of a panic attack, you can calm your mind and body until the symptoms fade.

"People who experience panic attacks have to learn how to cope with their feelings of panic," says Seif. While medication can be effective, cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the best techniques for managing panic and anxiety. "It involves recognizing that the panic-producing process is fueled by future-oriented, catastrophic thinking," explains Seif. People with panic disorder have to become aware that their thoughts trigger a physical reaction, which results in a panic attack.

To gain control over panic disorder, it's important to learn and practice anxiety management techniques, says Seif. Strategies that you can use to help you curb a panic attack include:

Breathing slowly and deeply. Anxiety can cause you to breathe very quickly, which makes both the mental and physical symptoms of a panic attack even worse. When you start to feel panicky, be sure to take slow, deep breaths to soothe your mind and body.

Stop and think. When your thoughts start spinning out of control, simply tell yourself to stop. Organize your thoughts and decide what you need to do to get yourself calm again.

Think positively. Push negative thoughts out of your mind, and remind yourself that you are in control. Think about times when you've been able to manage situations successfully and reduce anxiety.

Stand up for yourself. If you need to leave a situation, do so or tell someone you need to leave. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Allowing yourself to become more upset will not help if what you really need is to take a walk and blow off some steam.

Relax your muscles. Anxiety causes your entire body to tense up, so make a conscious effort to relax each muscle from your toes all the way up to your neck and face.

Don't wait for a panic attack to begin to try these techniques. Seif notes that it's important to use these strategies regularly and learn to manage your anxiety in gradual stages. As you become more confident that you can rein in a panic attack, you can walk out the door each day breathing easier.

01/12/2010

When you're stressed, your head may start to hurt, or you may feel nauseous, dizzy, or just plain overwhelmed. Stress can have a huge impact on every aspect of your life, so stress reduction is necessary for maintaining both your physical and emotional health. Since you can't simply wish stress away, managing stress is a vital skill to develop.

Managing Stress: When You Experience a Sudden Spike

Certain situations create stress instantly, such as a major issue at work or a crisis at home that needs to be addressed right away. When there's an urgent problem that requires your immediate attention, managing stress is important so that you can think clearly. Try these stress reduction tips to help you deal with anxiety-provoking experiences:

Put it in perspective. Maybe you're disappointed that you didn't get a promotion you were up for or concerned that money is a little tight this month because of an unexpected medical bill. Feeling stressed is a natural reaction. But try to take a step back and ask yourself: will this issue still matter in a year? In five years? If the answer is no, take a deep breath and try to move forward. Keeping things in perspective is crucial to managing stress.

Come up with a plan. If there's a specific problem you need to fix, make a list of all possible solutions and pick the best one for your situation. Realizing that you have options and coming up with a concrete plan will have a direct effect on stress reduction.

Accept what you can't control. Some circumstances are simply beyond our control, and we have to learn to cope with and accept them. Fortunately, you do have control over how you react to stressful situations. Staying calm and being willing to accept emotional support from others can help in managing stress.

Managing Stress: When It’s at a Slow, Steady Boil

Sometimes it’s not one specific problem, but rather nagging concerns about your job, health, finances, or family members that create a steady build-up of stress. Try these tips to help you with stress reduction:

Give yourself a break. Daily stressors can creep up on you before you realize it, so treat yourself to at least one relaxing activity every day. Listening to music, meditating, writing in a journal, or enjoying a soothing bubble bath are all great ways to relax and relieve stress. Taking time for yourself is important for both preventing and managing stress.

Get regular exercise. Exercise is one of the best methods for managing stress because it can relieve both the physical and emotional effects of stress. Consider fitness choices that also deliver specific stress-reducing effects like yoga, tai chi, Pilates, or one of the martial arts, all great ways to get rid of pent-up stress and negativity.

Express your feelings. If something's bothering you, don't keep it to yourself. Talk to people you trust, like friends, family, or co-workers, about what's on your mind. Even if you're not looking for specific advice, it usually feels good just to get your feelings out into the open.

Managing Stress: Keeping Stressful Situations to a Minimum

Being prepared for difficult situations, managing your time well, and solving problems quickly can help you avoid unnecessary stress:

Set reasonable expectations. Being busy is sometimes inevitable, but regularly taking on more than you can manage can cause unwanted and unwelcome stress. Tell yourself that it's okay to say no to activities at your child's school or to extra projects at work — you are not obligated to accept every request made of you. Additionally, don't take on more financial responsibilities — such as a new car or a bigger house — if you think they'll be a stretch. Being realistic about your finances is an important strategy for managing stress.

Resolve issues before they become crises. It’s human nature to avoid unpleasant topics and circumstances, but if you're concerned about a brewing situation, whether it's at work or at home, address it early to keep it from becoming more serious, harder to solve, and more stressful for you. Problems are always easier to handle before they develop into full-blown calamities.

Everyone feels stress — it's impossible to avoid it all the time. But it is possible to keep stress under control by setting realistic expectations of yourself, learning how to keep problems in perspective, and enjoying relaxing breaks from the daily demands of life.

Laughter is a key component of a happy life and it has powerful physical and mental benefits. No matter what you're facing, you can learn to laugh and benefit from its healing ways.

Funny movies, sitcoms, cute toddlers, and a good friend’s jokes can all offer one of the most powerful, natural stress relievers out there: laughter.

“I think one of the best things is that laughter increases your sense of humor,” says Lynda Tourloukis, a certified laughter teacher based in Park Ridge, Ill. A motivational speaker and life coach, Tourloukis says she became interested in the healing benefits of laughter after she and her husband spent a weekend chuckling and guffawing at a seminar offered by the Humor Project, an organization that focuses on "the positive power of humor." Now she trains other laughter teachers and has become a personal laughter advocate.

The Benefits of LaughterThe benefits of a good laugh are wide-ranging and can include protection from emotional issues like depression and improving the health of your heart. Here's what experts know about the health benefits of laughter:

Mental health benefits. Although you probably can’t laugh off depression, one of the many benefits of laughter and a sense of humor is that they buffer you against the negatives of life that could lead to depression. As an added bonus, studies show that people who use humor to fight stress also feel less lonely and more positive about themselves.

Physical benefits. Although we can’t yet say that a certain number of laughs every day will keep the doctor away, studies show that people who say they laugh a lot also tend to be in good health and generally feel well. Laughter is also one of the most commonly used complementary therapies among cancer patients, who find that one of the benefits of laughter is an improved quality of life.

Heart health benefits. Laughter could be healthy for your heart, too. Some research shows that when you laugh, there is an increase in oxygen-rich blood flow in your body, possibly due to the release of endorphins, which create a chemical rush that counters negative feelings and stress. Activities that increase endorphins include a good workout andlistening to music you love, and laughter deserves its place on the list with these other stress busters.

Building Laughter Into Your LifeLoving the benefits of laughter but don’t feel like laughing? Sometimes you have to make a conscious effort to laugh. If you’re facing tough times such as a tight budget, work stress, or an illness like cancer, it may help to learn techniques to bring the benefits of laughter into your life. You can try the old stand-by recommendations:

Rent a funny movie, read a funny book, or watch a funny sitcom.

Spend time with an amusing buddy.

Look on the light side: Go places that help you remember good times that have made you laugh in the past.

Or you can join the "laughter movement" to learn about the benefits of laughter while fighting stress:

Practice laughter yoga. This specialized combination of yoga breathing techniques and exhalation creates a self-induced “laugh” that provides all the benefits of laughter rooted in humor. You can include this practice in your day by adding a little “ha ha ha” when you shake hands or introduce yourself — to fellow laughter fans, of course! Check out Laughter Yoga International for more information.

Find a laughter group. “It’s always my recommendation to get together with other people to laugh. It’s a little hard to laugh alone, unless you have practiced it,” Tourloukis says. At Laughter Yoga International you can search over 6,000 social laughter clubs around the world to find one closest to you.

Have a “woohoo!” Tourloukis hosts a free daily laughter call that is only 20 minutes long and ends with a laugh-inducing “woohoo!” But she says anytime you look at the clock, if it’s 20 minutes past the hour, your own “Woohoo!” will help bring a smile to your face.

Any day is a good day to start laughing more, but if you need a more significant date to get started with this goal, pencil it in for the first Sunday of May, World Laughter Day.

If you spend your day telling yourself that you're worthless, don't be surprised if you end up depressed. Affirmations — speaking positively to yourself — can induce change in you.

How you talk to yourself matters. Repeating positive and uplifting statements, known as affirmations, can be beneficial to both your physical and emotional health.

Affirmations: The Power Within

There is strong evidence that repeatedly thinking about negative events or personal qualities can increase stress and depression and worsen physical health. In contrast, repeatedly thinking about positive qualities can:

“Affirmations definitely have a pretty major impact, and [they're] one of the most popular ways of inducing situational change in people’s thoughts, ways, and behaviors,” explains Harry Wallace, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas.

In a way, affirmations are an antidote to negative self-talk. Negative self-talk involves focusing on your weaknesses, failures, less attractive qualities, and so on. These kinds of thoughts are more likely when you are already feeling down or in a tough situation, such as after losing a job. At these times, negative thoughts are normal, but they can speed some people towards depression and make it hard to take action.

Affirmations: Using Them in Your Life

Affirmations can help you get through stressful times.

“If [you use an affirmation] prior to having encountered some kind of threatening feedback, it creates a buffer where you are able to tolerate it,” says Wallace, who adds that people who are "self-affirmed" are more willing to accept or even invite feedback about themselves because "they can handle it." Similarly, people who must perform under pressure can benefit from affirmations, which ease some of the stress.

Affirmations: A Caution

While it’s a good idea to consider your positive qualities and the positives in your life, even in difficult circumstances, remember that some “negative” thoughts can actually be helpful as well. Worry is one of those. A little bit of worry can spur you to take action, so you don’t need to counter productive worry with affirmations.

Wallace points out that, as with worry, there are times when a realistic assessment of your situation is helpful. For example, while an appropriate affirmation (such as “I am prepared for my speech and my audiences generally respond well to my style”) can get you through the pressure of public speaking, you may want to prepare the speech without affirmations that could slightly distort your ability to see what changes need to be made.

Affirmations: Creating Them

Affirmations are personal to your situation and your needs. When creating an affirmation, think of the positive message that you need to hear based on your situation. Here are some examples:

Affirmations that help to prepare for stress. Wallace says that if you are about to receive feedback from an employer or client that you suspect might not be as good as you’d like, try an affirmation like, “I am a valuable person regardless of what happens with this situation.”

Affirmations that conquer stress. Use three or more affirmations that you repeat daily to get through a difficult time, such as job loss and job seeking, such as, "I am valuable" or "I have something to contribute."

Affirmations that support an overall goal. If you are having a hard time achieving a specific goal, affirmations that remind you of positive aspects of yourself related to that goal can make success more likely. For example, if you are trying to write a novel, you might want to use affirmations like, “I am a creative person” or “I am capable of meeting my deadlines” as positive and encouraging thoughts (instead of negative observations like, “I'll never finish this novel!”)

Affirmations should be abstract or concrete as the situation requires. A statement that supports an abstract positive quality (“I am a valued team player”) is helpful in getting you to look beyond an immediate frustration, but an affirmation of a concrete skill (“I am an excellent translator of French”) can be helpful if you need confidence in a particular area.

With practice, you will be better able to craft the kinds of affirmations that are most helpful to you, says Wallace. Be kind to yourself. Focus on your strengths and abilities when you are feeling vulnerable.

If you've ever wanted to take singing, dancing, or knitting lessons, you've got a perfect reason to start: Creativity reduces stress and keeps you healthy.

Is there something you've always wanted to learn, like singing, dancing, or acting? Or perhaps you have a love for horses and want to take riding lessons? Don't brush it off as a silly extravagance or something you just don't have the time or money for — giving into your creative desires is not only fun, it's also good for your emotional health.

Creative Thinking: Why Creativity Is Important

Creativity is important for a number of reasons, including:

It's fun and enjoyable. Doing things that you like reduces stress and improves overall well-being.

It stimulates the brain. Creativity sharpens the brain, which can stem the advance of dementia in old age. The more new things you learn, the more use the brain gets — and the sharper it will remain. It's often recommended that seniors learn new skills and challenge themselves with new opportunities, but this recommendation is appropriate for any age.

It boosts self-confidence. Trying new things can improve self-confidence and make you a more interesting person.

Creative Thinking: A Balanced Life

You already know that all work and no play do not make for a healthy life — and can result in a pretty unhappy you. But that also doesn't mean that all play and no work is good either, and that's why striking the right balance is so important.

Working and being productive helps keep you sharp, organized, and even happy — as long as it's well balanced with leisure and creativity. Whether it's at your daily job, taking care of yourchildren, or cleaning up your home and yard, you feel a great sense of accomplishment after a productive day — and that does a lot for your emotional health. But we all need time to rest and rejuvenate, and do something fun and stimulating. So block off some time each day or each week for a little creativity.

Creative Thinking: Making the Most of Your Time

During your "you" time, do anything that you enjoy or anything that's new and different to you. Make it something that's challenging, stimulating, and that you look forward to. Here are some good ways to challenge your brain, learn new skills, and get your creative juices flowing:

Go back to school and take some academic or other classes of interest to you

Most importantly, whatever you decide to do, make it fun. Sure, it's one more thing to add to your busy schedule, but taking time for creativity is one of the best investments you can make for your body and spirit.

01/06/2010

Always look on the bright side of life. Keep on the sunny side. Lyrics like these hold more than a grain of truth for people who want to recover from difficult times.

Psychological resilience — the ability to bounce back relatively successfully from negative situations — is an important tool to have when you are faced with unpleasant events, mild stressors, or challenging relationships.

“There is no single definition of resilience, but generally it refers to the capacity of an individual to adapt to difficult circumstances; in other words, to maintain functioning in the face of adversity,” says Colin A. Depp, PhD, assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the school of medicine and a researcher at the Stein Institute for Research on Aging at the University of California, San Diego.

Resilience: Benefits

Depp recently surveyed 1,395 women over age 60 to find out what characteristics accompanied greater resilience during aging. He and his colleagues found that women who scored high in resilience also reported:

Studies of people who are facing difficult situations — for example, their own illness or that of a loved one — clearly demonstrate that a positive outlook makes a difference in their emotional health.

Here’s why: negative emotions — the ones that drag you down — can trigger a physical “fight or flight” response and keep you narrowly focused on the source of your distress.

But positive emotions, even the ones you have to work at, actually have a calming effect on your physical response, boost your immunity, and ultimately broaden your perspective so that you can see more recovery options than you thought you had.

Resilience: Building Some in Your Life

Depp says that while you're striving for the four outcomes found in his study, there are other steps you can take to become resilient.

“In general, the best things to do would be to limit exposure to chronic uncontrollable stress to the extent you can; build a resilient body through nutrition, good sleep, and physical activity; and engage in activities that help you either feel more in control or help you tolerate negative emotions,” says Depp.

Here are some proven techniques that can increase your positive emotions and the belief that you can cope:

Build positive relationships. Depp’s survey demonstrates that people who are socially engaged often are also more resilient.

Count your blessings. Trite, but true: Taking time at least once a week to write down sources of gratitude increases positive emotions.

01/04/2010

It's more than just good exercise — yoga may help improve both your physical and emotional health.

Many Americans are exploring the rhythmic breathing, stretches, and sometimes demanding postures of yoga as a form of alternative medicine. The 2007 National Health Interview Survey found that yoga was one of the most popular types of alternative medicine among adults, and that its use had grown by roughly 3 million people since the previous survey in 2002.

What Is Yoga?

According to the American Yoga Association, yoga unites physical activity, meditation, and controlled breathing. The word "yoga" comes from an ancient phrase meaning "to join," which refers to the mind and body coming together. The first written instructions regarding yoga poses date back to more than 2,000 years ago, but yoga is thought to have been practiced centuries before then.

The type of yoga practiced most often in the United States is Hatha yoga, which emphasizes particular poses while paying careful attention to breathing techniques. There are more than 100 other different schools of yoga, which originated in Indian philosophy. These various schools incorporate some or all of the eight foundations, or limbs, of yoga practice.

According to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, yoga's benefits as a form of alternative medicine may include:

Relieving stress

Relaxing and strengthening muscles

Enhancing mood

Lowering blood pressure

In addition, researchers are examining the use of yoga to help treat a number of specific conditions.

Physical and Emotional Benefits of Yoga

Yoga views the body as the most important tool humans have, one that should be treated with the utmost care and respect. The following are just a few of the possible ways that yoga may improve your overall health:

Stress and anxiety. In a study of more than 100 Australians with mild to moderate levels of stress, participants engaged in either weekly relaxation or Hatha yoga sessions for 10 weeks. The researchers found that the yoga sessions provided similar improvements in stress, anxiety, and health status to the dedicated relaxation sessions.

Cancer. A recent study of 24 people with cancer examined the effects of Iyengar yoga — a form of yoga focused on correct body alignment and the use of props. The participants took 90-minute yoga classes for 10 weeks. The study demonstrated marked improvements in participants' mood, overall quality of life, and sense of spiritual well-being.

Pain. Research has found that the regular practice of yoga may be associated with reduced pain. In one study, people with chronic lower back pain who participated in weekly yoga classes for four months experienced substantial reductions in pain and disability compared with subjects who were assigned to a non-yoga group.

The Risks of Yoga

If you're considering yoga, keep in mind that certain yoga poses may not be appropriate for people with particular medical conditions including:

Spinal problems

Blood pressure disorders

History or risk of blood clots

Eye problems like glaucoma and retinal disorders

Pregnancy

If you have any underlying health problems, discuss the possible risks of yoga with your doctor beforehand. Also, make sure you know the demands a particular class will place on your body before you enroll. If you do take a class, inform your yoga instructor of any health concerns that may affect your ability to perform certain poses.

01/03/2010

Studies show that exercise can help manage anxiety. Learn about the best choices to reduce your stress levels.

Anxiety can be overwhelming and cause many physical and emotional side effects. When you can't stop worrying, you can't sleep and you may even feel sick to your stomach. While ananxiety disorder should be monitored and treated by a qualified professional, exercise can be part of an effective treatment plan to help manage your anxiety symptoms.

Exercise and Anxiety: What the Research Says"Exercise won't cure anxiety or depression, but the physical and psychological benefits can improve the symptoms,” explains Sally R. Connolly, LCSW, a therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Kentucky. "Research shows that at least 30 minutes of exercise three to five days a week can significantly make a difference.” Some studies have suggested that regular exercise can help alleviate anxiety as much as medications, and the anxiety-relieving effects of exercise may last longer than those of drugs.

Exercise and Anxiety: Who BenefitsWhile everyone can reap psychological benefits from exercise, research suggests that people who may see the biggest improvements in anxiety symptoms are those who:

Exercise consistently for at least several weeks

Are not already physically active

Have severe anxiety

Do aerobic exercise, such as jogging, swimming, or dancing

Exercise has also been shown to be effective in managing symptoms of depression, which frequently affects people with anxiety disorders.

Exercise and Anxiety: How Exercise Helps"Anxiety is usually linked to an increased heart rate," notes Connolly. "Exercise can be very helpful with calming people's heart rate."

During exercise, your heart rate shoots up, but over time, as your fitness level improves, your heart begins to work more efficiently. As a result, your resting heart rate between exercise sessions eventually becomes slower. Improved heart and lung function due to regular aerobic activity are often associated with a greater sense of overall well-being, which can help offset feelings of anxiety.

Even short bursts of exercise — just 10 to 15 minutes at a time — can improve your fitness and your mood. Connolly recommends that her patients get a total of 30 minutes of exercise a day, which can be broken into 10-minute blocks if necessary, between six and seven days a week.

Exercise can even help prevent anxiety disorders from beginning in the first place. One study showed that regular exercisers were at a 25 percent reduced risk of depression and anxiety disorders over a five-year period. Not surprisingly, exercise has also been found to improve mental clarity and concentration, both of which may be negatively affected by anxiety. Chemicals released in the brain during exercise may help improve the ability to focus and deal with stressful situations, thereby lessening the risk of anxiety and depression.

Exercise and Anxiety: Anti-Anxiety WorkoutsAny exercise can help diminish anxiety, but Connolly says aerobic exercise that really gets your heart rate up will be the most beneficial. Some good aerobic exercises that can help manage anxiety are:

Swimming

Biking

Running

Brisk walking

Tennis

Dancing

"Dancing is a great exercise, and it has a lot of other side benefits. And it's great when you dance with other people," notes Connolly, since socializing can also boost your mood.

Though not aerobic, yoga can help offset anxiety symptoms. Yoga combines physical movement with meditation and deep breathing to help calm the mind and alleviate worry.

While weight training and other strengthening exercises are important for your overall health, they don’t seem to offer as much anxiety relief as activities that get your heart rate going.

We all know that exercise is good for the body, and now research shows that it's also good for the mind. In addition to managing your anxiety with a doctor's help, exercise is a powerful tool you can use to enhance your physical and mental health.

Calling Cupid: Love has a particularly welcome role in stress relief. Loving relationships can help relieve stress and boost your overall health. Find out how to reap the rewards.

Love does wonderful things for your state of mind, and it also offers natural stress relief. In healthy relationships, the power of love is strong enough to keep your heart happy and your mind and body healthy.

Stress Relief: How Love Helps

Sharing in life's joys and challenges is one of the great benefits of being in a relationship.

"When you are in a loving marriage or a good relationship, you have somebody there to share your worries with, to talk through problems with, to enjoy free time with," says Sally R. Connolly, a social worker and therapist with the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Louisville, Ky. Relationships can provide stress relief by simply not leaving you to shoulder every burden completely on your own, Connelly explains.

You also have someone "to visualize the future with. Somebody who is there for you and witnesses your life," adds Connolly. A number of studies have found that people in healthy marriages live longer and have fewer health problems than people who are unhappily married or not in a relationship, according to Connolly. Such is the power of love. What’s more, people who are happily married not only benefit from stress relief, they suffer less often from depression, too.

A loving partner can share the responsibility of stressful situations, offer support, a listening ear, and advice when you need it. And when you need to remember happier, easier times, a loving partner can help with that as well.

Stress Relief: Mending Relationships

If you have a relationship with a spouse, partner, or loved one that is a little rocky, focus on fixing it. An unhealthy relationship is just one more stressor that you don't need, and repairing it can provide stress relief and improve your health — and, you'll just feel better about it.

Getting started can be tough, but Connolly suggests just reaching out to your loved one. Consider whether there was a problem or issue that divided the relationship that needs to be addressed before you can move on. Or, if you just grew apart, work on rebuilding that relationship.

Stress Relief: Warming Up to Relationships

Not everyone is comfortable with affection — perhaps it's just your personality or the influence of family when you were growing up. If being affectionate is difficult for you, consider trying to start expressing your feelings to those in your life who you love, to strengthen these relationships.

"Showing affection may actually only be a habit, and people can learn how to change habits," says Connolly.

She recommends starting in small steps, reaching out physically (hugging or a gentle touch) or with affectionate words or actions. From there, she says, you can slowly build on your relationship and your physical affection. "Congratulate yourself each time that you stretch out of your comfort zone, and notice the effect that it has on your partner," says Connolly.

Stress Relief: Learning to Show Affection

She also suggests that you consider what kind of affection you want in your relationship, visualize what that affection is and how to show it, and practice those activities in your head to get accustomed to being more affectionate. Read books about ways of showing affection, or look for examples in movies or television shows.

"Think about affection and how much you care about the person that you want to show affection to. Think about that a lot during the day," says Connolly.

Life presents many challenges and stressors, and you need someone there to support you through the difficult times — whether it's a good friend, family member, spouse, or partner. And it's equally important to have someone to share in happy times and celebrations. Take time to focus on the relationships in your life, and reap the benefits. Just knowing that you have love, support, and help from a loved one can give you positive stress relief.

Certain everyday situations have huge potential for causing stress. But by being organized and easing up on self-imposed time pressures, you can dodge these situations and skip the stress.

Sometimes, stressful situations occur because we let them — once you allow stress get to you, tension and anxiety can mount very quickly. Here are some common anxiety-creating everyday events, and ways you can reduce stress and minimize their impact on your life:

1. Being stuck in traffic. There are few feelings as frustrating as being in traffic that has come to a dead stop or is crawling along when you need to get somewhere in a hurry — your child’s school, your office, or a doctor's appointment. You can’t anticipate an accident on the road, but you can do some advance planning to avoid stress:

When possible, avoid scheduling appointments during peak traffic hours; when that’s not possible, give yourself twice the time to get to your destination.

Research alternate routes or adjust your work schedule if leaving home 15 minutes earlier, for instance, can help you avoid traffic. And if you do get stuck, keep in mind that while you can't control the traffic, you can control your reaction to the situation: Use your time constructively and reduce stress by listening to an audio book or practicing deep-breathing relaxation to prevent frayed nerves. If you’re going to be late for a meeting or appointment, call ahead to explain what’s happened rather than keeping someone else waiting. The person on the other end of the phone will probably be more understanding of your predicament than you expect.

2. Arriving on time. To reduce stress from being late, plan for unforeseen delays and give yourself extra time to reach your destination. If you arrive early, use the extra minutes to freshen up, get organized, return a phone call that you thought you’d have to delay, and delight in the fact that you avoided the stress of cutting it too close!

3. Meeting a deadline at work. It may not be uncommon for your boss to ask you to complete a project on short notice. You can use this opportunity to flounder or shine. Being organized in general can help make a pressing deadline a little less stressful. Practicing good time management skills will also reduce stress when you're crunched for time. Consider writing out a concrete to-do list or making a schedule to help stay on track even when a major deadline is looming. Taking these methodic steps will increase your confidence level and help you avoid stress.

4. Making a presentation. Many people become anxious about giving a presentation whether it’s at work, a PTA meeting, or in front of a volunteer group. Taking the necessary time to get ready, though, can help you avoid stress. Plan ahead so you have plenty of opportunities to prepare, review, and give a dry run in front of a friend or your spouse — if you feel confident about your knowledge of the material, you will reduce stress. If you’re feeling nervous, relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing before, during, and after your presentation, can help slow your heart rate and make you feel calmer.

5. Arguing with friends, family, or coworkers. It's normal not to always see eye-to-eye with those around you. Even so, a disagreement doesn't have to become a stressful confrontation. When you approach your loved one or co-worker respectfully — and recognize that you are each entitled to your own opinion — and having different opinions doesn’t have to change your opinion of one another. If it seems like an argument is spiraling out of control, take a deep breath and step back from the situation. A brief time-out can help both of you keep things in perspective.

6. Having a financial problem. Planning for potential financial issues ahead of time can help you reduce stress. Focus on building up your savings, consider taking an additional job if necessary, and stick to a reasonable budget. Living within your means and replenishing your savings account can help significantly reduce financial stress. If you do find yourself in a financial bind, seek out the advice of a financial counselor who can help you deal with creditors and find ways to cut your bills.

7. Waiting in line. Lines always seem to be longer when you're in a rush. Unfortunately, waiting in line is another stressful situation that you can't control, but you can anticipate and plan for by shopping at off-hours and online. If you're pressed for time, put off tasks, like going to the post office, where there's likely to be a long line. Look for stress-free ways to get your tasks done; using the U.S. Postal Service, it’s now possible to mail almost anything from home — you can print out postage and even request a pickup. Use self-checkout aisles at stores; they’re often less crowded. And if you have no choice but to wait in line, take deep breaths, think of something soothing, and simply try to let your stress go (but don’t give in to that impulse candy purchase!).

Careful planning and a change in your overall attitude can also go a long way toward reducing stress … and what a relief that will be!

12/29/2009

Small stressors can quickly add up to major stress and one big stressful event can send you reeling, with no idea of how to start addressing it. If you could just get away for a little stress relief, you know you would be okay. But too few of us have the time — or the money — to run off on an impromptu vacation. Well, you don't have to spend a dime or go anywhere other than a quiet spot nearby to take a mental vacation.

Stress Relief: Take Off on a Mental Vacation

If you don’t find a way to reduce stress, your health will pay the price, both mentally and physically. It’s not necessary to get a lengthy massage or head to a beach to relax — you can unwind every day in simple ways and still get a major benefit.

"People who are under a lot of stress have physical problems related to constantly being under stress," says Sally R. Connolly, a social worker and therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Louisville, Ky. "And if you don’t find ways [to relieve it], even in small periods of time, you can have long-term consequences." It's crucial to add stress relief to your everyday routine, she says.

Connolly suggests learning techniques to reduce stress and trying to sneak in one or two each day. "Even if it's five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night, just find time to do that," she says.

Stress Relief: Six Quick Mental Trips

Visualizing a stress-free place and other relaxation techniques are quick and easy ways to help your whole body calm down and give you just the boost you need to get on with your day. Connolly suggests these six ways for you to slip away on a mental vacation to reduce stress:

Read a book in bed. Connolly says this is a great escape and can leave you feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to face whatever is outside your bedroom door. Your bed is warm, cozy, comfortable, and a peaceful place for you. It feels luxurious, and getting lost in a good book is a perfect way to forget, then refocus, your own thoughts.

Visualize relaxation. Steal a few quiet moments to close your eyes and think of an image that relaxes you — such as the warm sun on your skin and the sound of the ocean, a big country field sprinkled with flowers, or a trickling stream. Connolly suggests thinking back to a time when you felt peaceful and relaxed, and focus on releasing the tension from your toes to your head.

Look at pictures from a happy time. Connolly recommends pulling out snapshots from a photo album of a family vacation or a fun dinner with friends. Reflect on your memories of that occasion, and what made it so enjoyable. Spend a few quiet moments reminiscing, and you'll find yourself more relaxed.

Look out a window. Distract yourself by focusing on something other than what's stressing you. Grab a steaming cup of coffee or tea, close the door, and take a mental break. Do a little people watching, appreciate any birds within view, or enjoy some fluffy clouds rolling by. Allow yourself to daydream for a few minutes.

Listen to a relaxation CD. Invest in a couple of these CDs for a short daily escape, says Connolly. You may like to hear chirping birds, rolling waves, or gentle rain — whatever your choice, closing your eyes and listening to these soothing sounds while doing some deep breathing can help you relax and de-stress.

Take a walk. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress because it's a great escape for your mind. Head out for a quiet early morning walk or lace up your sneakers on your lunch break. Walking along a trail, waterfront, or other peaceful place when possible may offer even more relaxation.

Treat yourself to a 5-, 10-, or 20-minute mental vacation each day and train your body to relax and reduce stress — you'll be amazed at how much better you feel after taking just a few luxurious moments all to yourself.

Tai chi: Discover the many possible health benefits

The ancient art of tai chi uses gentle flowing movements to reduce the stress of today's busy lifestyles and improve health. Find out how to get started.

If you're looking for another way to reduce stress, consider tai chi (TIE-chee). Tai chi is sometimes described as "meditation in motion" because it promotes serenity through gentle movements — connecting the mind and body. Originally developed in ancient China for self-defense, tai chi evolved into a graceful form of exercise that's now used for stress reduction and to help with a variety of other health conditions.

Understanding tai chi

Tai chi, also called tai chi chuan, is a noncompetitive, self-paced system of gentle physical exercise and stretching. To do tai chi, you perform a series of postures or movements in a slow, graceful manner. Each posture flows into the next without pause, ensuring that your body is in constant motion.

Tai chi has many different styles, such as yang and wu. Each style may have its own subtle emphasis on various tai chi principles and methods. There are also variations within each style. Some may focus on health maintenance, while others focus on the martial arts aspect of tai chi.

The result of all this variation is that there are more than 100 possible movements and positions with tai chi, many of which are named for animals or nature. Regardless of the variation, all forms of tai chi include rhythmic patterns of movement that are coordinated with breathing to help you achieve a sense of inner calm. The concentration required for tai chi forces you to live in the present moment, putting aside distressing thoughts.

Who can do tai chi

The intensity of tai chi varies depending on the form or style practiced. Some forms of tai chi are more fast-paced and exerting than are others, for instance. However, most forms are gentle and suitable for everyone. So you can practice tai chi regardless of your age or physical ability — tai chi emphasizes technique over strength. In fact, because tai chi is low impact, it may be especially suitable if you're an older adult who otherwise may not exercise.

You may also find tai chi appealing because it's inexpensive, requires no special equipment and can be done indoors or out, either alone or in a group.

Although tai chi is generally safe, consider talking with your doctor before starting a new program. This is particularly important if you have any problems with your joints, spine or heart, if you are pregnant, if you have any fractures, or if you have severe osteoporosis.

Why give tai chi a try

Like other complementary and alternative practices that bring mind and body together, tai chi can help reduce stress. During tai chi, you focus on movement and breathing. This combination creates a state of relaxation and calm. Stress, anxiety and tension should melt away as you focus on the present, and the effects may last well after you stop your tai chi session. Tai chi also might help your overall health, although it's not a substitute for traditional medical care.

Despite its long history, tai chi has been studied scientifically only in recent years. And although more research is needed, preliminary evidence suggests that tai chi may offer numerous benefits beyond stress reduction, including:

Reducing anxiety and depression

Improving balance, flexibility and muscle strength

Reducing falls in older adults

Improving sleep quality

Lowering blood pressure

Improving cardiovascular fitness in older adult

Relieving chronic pain

Increasing energy, endurance and agility

Improving overall feelings of well-being

Getting started with tai chi

Wondering how to get started in tai chi? Even though you can rent or buy videos or books about tai chi, consider seeking guidance from a qualified tai chi instructor to gain the full benefits and learn proper techniques. A tai chi instructor may also be able to teach you about the philosophy underlying this relaxation technique.

A tai chi instructor can teach you specific positions and how to regulate your breathing. An instructor also can teach you how to practice tai chi safely, especially if you have injuries, chronic conditions, or balance or coordination problems. Although tai chi is slow and gentle, with virtually no negative side effects, it's possible to get injured if you don't know how to do tai chi properly. It's possible you could strain your muscles or overdo it when first learning, or you could aggravate an existing condition. And if you have balance problems, you could possibly fall during tai chi.

You can find tai chi classes in many communities today. To find a class near you, contact your local:

Senior center

YMCA

YWCA

Health club

Community education center

Wellness facility

Keep in mind that tai chi instructors don't have to be licensed, and there are no standard training programs for instructors. So check an instructor's training and experience, get recommendations if possible, and make sure that you're comfortable with his or her approach. Eventually, you may feel confident enough to do tai chi on your own. But if you like the social element, consider sticking with group tai chi classes.

Maintaining the benefits of tai chi

To reap the greatest stress reduction and other health benefits from tai chi, consider practicing it regularly. While you may get some benefit from a 12-week tai chi class, you may enjoy longer and bigger benefits if you continue tai chi for the long term and become more skilled.

You may find it helpful to practice tai chi in the same place and at the same time every day to develop a routine. But if your schedule is erratic, do tai chi whenever you have a few minutes. You can even draw on the soothing mind-body concepts of tai chi without performing the actual movements if you get stuck in stressful situations — a traffic jam or a contentious work meeting, for instance.

12/21/2009

With pressures from the economic hard times, difficult families, and countless other factors, the holidays can contribute to emotional stress and depression. But there are ways to cope with the various scenarios that people experience at this time of year, according to Dr. Laura Miller, director of women's mental health in the psychiatry department at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.

For instance, she suggests:

If seasonal depression gets worse in fall and winter ...

A therapeutic light box, which provides powerful light beyond what you can come up with yourself, might help in the morning. A doctor can help obtain one.
Exercise can also make you feel better.

If you're busy and stressed out ...

Take time for fun activities such as walking, meditating, exercising and hanging out with friends.
Consider buying prepared foods instead of trying to make everything yourself.
In general, reduce the number of activities that are more stressful than joyful.

If you can't afford the gifts you'd like to give ...

Remember that people who care about you will be more interested in the fact that you thought of them than in the cost of your gift. Find a poem someone would enjoy and frame it. Or, bake something special for someone.

If you get anxious at social gatherings ...

Self-help workbooks can help you develop skills to conquer social anxiety. Start now, though; don't wait until the day of the event.

If you've lost a loved one, and the holidays are especially tough ...

Find a way to remember your loved one. Play the person's favorite music, for instance, or visit his or her grave, making sure to bring along family or friends who can help you cope.

Get additional support...

In addition, I would also suggest getting additional support if the anxiety, sadness, or loss of a loved one feels like too much to take on your own. There are wonderful counselors who specialize in these areas who are there to help you.

Research shows that healthy and supportive relationships can reduce stress and improve your overall health and sense of well-being. However, all relationships are not equally supportive. Building a network of supportive friends, or even just one supportive relationship, can be vital to your wellbeing. Here are some key skills that can help you to build relationships with people that are truly supportive and sustaining.

Meeting People- The more people you have in your life, the more likely you are to have truly supportive relationships with at least one of them. It’s beneficial to be able to regularly add new people to your circle. Here are some good ways to meet people, and some tips to remember when making a new friend.

Time Management- It’s important to make time to nurture relationships, and to go out and have fun with friends. You may feel like you just don’t have time to spend on this, but time management and organization techniques can help you find more time in your life to spend on friendships. These techniques can also help you to show up on time, remember birthdays and other important events, help friends when they’re in need, and do other things that will strengthen friendships and make them supportive.

Assertiveness- People often think of assertiveness as ‘standing up for yourself’ and ‘not letting people push you around’ -- basically the alternative to passivity. While this is mostly true, assertiveness is also the alternative to aggressiveness, a way of handling people where you get your needs met at the expense of others’ needs. Developing the skill of assertiveness can really help you strengthen your relationships, making them mutually supportive, lasting and opening the lines of communication.

Listening to Your Friends- When we’ve had a hard day, sometimes being able to talk to a friend about our feelings is all it takes to turn things around and make stress a feeling of connection and well-being. Being truly listened to and understood can have profound effects on us. When dealing with friends, it’s important to give as well as receive this supportive type of listening when support is truly needed. Here are some things to remember when friends are talking about things that stress or upset them:

Ask them about their feelings, and listen.
Reflect back what you hear, so they know you really understand.
Instead of always trying to tie the conversation back to your experiences, focus questions on them and their feelings.
When they’re talking, are you missing some of what they say because you’re waiting for them to stop talking so you can say what you want to say next? Stop, and really listen to them.
Learn more about how to be a good listener, an important skill to have.

Listening to Your Intuition- Some people give off positive energy that makes us feel good, and others give off negative energy that drains us. If you pay attention to the signals that your intuition sends you and act on those signals, you’ll have a healthier social circle. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Does the conversation flow easily, or is it forced?
Do you feel they truly understand, accept and support you?
Do you feel you truly understand, accept and support them?
Do you feel better or worse about yourself when you’re with them?
Do you leave them feeling energized or mildly depressed?
Do you include them in your life for positive qualities they have, or just to have more people in your life?
The answers to these questions, and what you can learn from this quiz will help you begin to develop your intuition, which will help you strengthen your relationships, or help you with...

Letting Go- Not everyone is an appropriate match. If there’s someone in your life who makes you feel bad about yourself, doesn’t share any of your interests or values, or is someone that you just don’t mesh well with, it’s perfectly acceptable to put that relationship on the back burner, let it fade altogether, or not develop it in the first place. Even if you were at one time close, people change and grow in different directions. That doesn’t mean there’s something ‘wrong’ with either of you. But if someone in your life is no longer good for you, it’s perfectly acceptable to let them go. (Conversely, if you’d like to keep them in your life out of loyalty, albeit in a periphery role, that’s OK, too. However, it would be beneficial to remember not to count on them for support, if they’re not able to give it to you.) Only you know if the relationship is worth keeping or not. But it is important to have several people you can count on for support in your life. (If you're not sure if your relationships are supporting or draining you, the can help!)

It takes some work, but cultivating a circle of truly supportive friendships can make a huge difference in how you handle stress and life.

12/15/2009

Recently, I heard a renowned psychiatrist say, "you must be your own advocate of calm. Stress will always find you, calm you have to create." This resonated with me. In life it's so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life's stressors, and taking the time to to bring that heightened emotional level down is not only recommended, but necessary.

So learn what works for you, whether it's taking a walk, doing breathing exercises, reading a great book, or taking a hot bath. Take what works for you and turn it into an ongoing practice; write these things into your schedule if you need to. And most importantly, make yourself a priority in your own life.

Emotional freedom means learning how to stay centered in a stressful, highly emotionally charged world. Since emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies, you can potentially “catch” them from people without realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it’s vital to know how to avoid taking on an individual’s negative emotions or the free-floating kind in crowds. Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses. Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially those with similar pain. That’s how empathy works; we zero in on hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves. From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from several sources. What you’re feeling may be your own; it may be someone else’s; or it may be a combination. I’ll explain how to tell the difference and strategically bolster positive emotions so you don’t shoulder negativity that doesn’t belong to you.

This wasn’t something I always knew how to do. Growing up, my girlfriends couldn't wait to hit the shopping malls and go to parties, the bigger the better--but I didn't share their excitement. I always felt overwhelmed, exhausted around large groups of people, though I was clueless why. "What's the matter with you?" friends would say, shooting me the weirdest looks. All I knew was that crowded places and I just didn't mix. I'd go there feeling just fine but leave nervous, depressed, or with some horrible new ache or pain. Unsuspectingly, I was a gigantic sponge, absorbing the emotions of people around me.

With my patients, I’ve also seen how absorbing other people’s emotions can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that more than two million Americans suffer from chronic fatigue. It’s likely that many of them are emotional sponges.

Here are some strategies from Emotional Freedom to practice. They will help you to stop absorbing other people’s emotions.

Emotional Action Step: How To Stay Centered In A Stressful WorldTo detach from other people’s negative emotions:

First, ask yourself: Is the feeling mine or someone else’s? It could be both. If the emotion such as fear or anger is yours, gently confront what’s causing it on your own or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious generator. For instance, if you’ve just watched a comedy, yet you came home from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity, energy fields overlap. The same is true with going to a mall or packed concert.

When possible, distance yourself from the suspected source. Move at least twenty feet away; see if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend strangers. In a public place, don’t hesitate to change seats if you feel a sense of depression imposing on you.

For a few minutes, center yourself by concentrating on your breath: This connects you to your essence. Keep exhaling negativity, inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or other difficult emotions Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield quick results.

Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge in your emotional center at the solar plexus. Place your palm there as you keep sending loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out. For longstanding depression or anxiety, use this method daily to strengthen this center. It’s comforting and builds a sense of safety and optimism.

Shield yourself. A handy form of protection many people use, including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what's positive to filter in.

Look for positive people and situations. Call a friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words, songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.

Keep practicing these strategies. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With strategies to cope, you can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel safer, and your sensitivities can blossom.

12/09/2009

There are many ways to use structured relaxation and meditation techniques to help control stress and improve your physical and mental well-being. While some types of meditation and relaxation
therapies are best learned in a class, it's also possible to learn meditation techniques on your own. There are literally hundreds of different types of relaxation methods ranging from audio CDs to group martial arts and fitness classes. The following are only examples of the types of structured programs available that can increase our capacity for relaxation:

Autogenic training:
Developed in the early 20th century, this technique is based upon passive concentration and awareness of body sensations. Through repetition of so-called autogenic "formulas" one focuses upon different sensations, such as warmth or
heaviness, in different regions of the body. Autogenic training has been used by physicians as a part of therapy for many conditions. Popular in Europe (where it is even covered by some insurance plans), this method is currently gaining acceptance in the United States. No particular physical skills or exercises are involved; however, people desiring to learn this technique must be prepared to invest
time and patience. Since this technique is slightly more complex than some relaxation methods, a course is generally the best way to learn the method.

Biofeedback: Biofeedback is one method of learning to achieve relaxation, control stress responses, or modify the body's reactions through the use of monitoring
equipment that provides information from the body which would normally not be available. This method is based upon the principle first advanced in the early 1960s that the autonomic nervous system (the part we don't consciously use) is trainable. For example, instruments can be used to measure heart rate, blood
pressure, brain activity, stomach acidity, muscle tension, or other parameters while people experiment with postural changes, breathing techniques, or thinking patterns. By receiving this feedback, one can learn to identify the processes that achieve the desired result, such as reduction in heart rate and blood pressure. Biofeedback is used by many practitioners for a variety of psychological and physical conditions. Because the technique involves the use of
measuring devices, it can only be performed by a professional.

Imagery: Imagery, sometimes referred to as guided imagery, is the use of pleasant or relaxing
images to calm the mind and body. By controlling breathing and visualizing a soothing image, a state of deep relaxation can occur. This method can be learned by anyone and is relatively easy to try out.

Meditation techniques: Ranging from
practices associated with specific religions or beliefs to methods focusing purely on physical relaxation, meditation is one of the most popular techniques to achieve physical and mental relaxation. There are thousands of different types of meditation, and many can be learned on your own. The meditative state is one in which there is a deep centering and focusing upon the
core of one's being; there is a quieting of the mind, emotions, and body. The meditative state can be achieved through structured (as in a daily practice of a routine) or unstructured (for example, while being alone outdoors) activities. While teachers of meditative arts are readily available, some techniques can be
learned though books or online tutorials.

A form of meditation popularized in
the last few decades is TM, or transcendental meditation. TM has the goal of achieving transcendental consciousness, or the simplest form of awareness. It is
practiced for 15-20 minutes in the mornings and evenings and is relatively easy to learn. Numerous classes and teaching materials are available for beginners.

Another variant of a meditation technique has gained popularity in the U.S. since its description in the 1970s by Harvard physician Herbert Benson. This technique involves generation of the so-called relaxation response through the repetition of a word of phrase while quietly seated, 10-20 minutes per day. Designed to evoke the opposite bodily reaction to the stress response (or "fight or flight" reaction), this method carries no religious or spiritual overtones. Its value has been documented in the reduction of blood pressure and other bodily stress responses. Like other forms of meditation, it can be learned on one's own, but time and practice are required to elicit the desired relaxation state.

Progressive muscle relaxation: Progressive muscle relaxation is a method developed in the 1930s in which muscle groups are tightened and then relaxed in succession. This method is based upon the idea that mental relaxation will be a natural outcome of physical relaxation. Although muscle activity is involved, this technique requires no special skills or conditioning, and it can be learned by almost anyone. Progressive muscle relaxation is generally practiced for 10-20 minutes a day. As with the relaxation response, practice and patience are required for maximum benefits.

Qigong: The martial art qigong is an ancient Chinese health-care system that combines physical training (such as isometrics, isotonics, and aerobic conditioning) with Eastern philosophy and relaxation techniques. There are many different kinds of qigong, including medical qigong. Some forms are practiced while standing, sitting, or lying down; others involve structured movements or massage. Over 70 million Chinese practice some form of qigong daily. Qigong has been used for centuries in China for the treatment of a variety of medical conditions. Learning qigong involves time, commitment, patience, and determination, and learning from a master or group is advisable. Since this technique involves physical exertion, check with your doctor before beginning, particularly if you have a chronic medical condition or are over 40 years old.

Tai chi: Like qigong, tai chi is a Chinese martial art. It has been termed a kind of "meditation in motion" and is characterized by soft, flowing movements that stress precision and force. Also known as tai chi chuan, this method is thousands of years old. As with qigong, training from a master is necessary to learn the art of tai chi. Again, since motion and force are required, check with your doctor before beginning training.

Yoga: There are many forms of yoga, an ancient Indian form of exercise based upon the premise that the body and breathing are connected with the mind. The practice of yoga is thought to be over 5,000 years old. One goal of yoga is to restore balance and harmony to the body and emotions through numerous postural and breathing exercises. Yoga, which means "joining" or "union" in Sanskrit, has been called the "search for the soul" and the "union between the individual and the divine." Among the benefits of yoga are increased flexibility and capability for relaxation. No special level of conditioning is required; yoga can be learned by nearly anyone. Classes, books, and videos are widely available. Those with special or chronic physical conditions will want to get clearance from their doctor before beginning.

12/08/2009

We all know what anxiety feels like. Our heart pounds before a big presentation or a tough exam. We get butterflies in our stomach during a blind date. We worry and fret over family problems or feel jittery at the prospect of asking the boss for a raise. However, if worries and fears are preventing you from living your life the way you'd like to, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. The good news is, there are many anxiety treatments and self-help strategies that can help you reduce your anxiety symptoms and take back control of your life.

Understanding anxiety disorders

It’s normal to worry and feel tense or scared when under pressure or facing a stressful situation. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when we feel threatened.

Although it may be unpleasant, anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, anxiety can help us stay alert and focused, spur us to action, and motivate us to solve problems. But when anxiety is constant or overwhelming, when it interferes with your relationships and activities—that’s when you’ve crossed the line from normal anxiety into the territory of anxiety disorders.

Do you have an anxiety disorder?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder.

Are you constantly tense, worried, or on edge?

Does your anxiety interfere with your work, school, or family responsibilities?

Are you plagued by fears that you know are irrational, but can’t shake?

Do you believe that something bad will happen if certain things aren’t done a certain way?

Do you avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious?

Do you experience sudden, unexpected attacks of heart-pounding panic?

Do you feel like danger and catastrophe are around every corner?

Signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders

Because the anxiety disorders are a group of related conditions rather than a single disorder, they can look very different from person to person. One individual may suffer from intense anxiety attacks that strike without warning, while another gets panicky at the thought of mingling at a party. Someone else may struggle with a disabling fear of driving or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Still another may live in a constant state of tension, worrying about anything and everything.

But despite their different forms, all anxiety disorders share one major symptom: persistent or severe fear or worry in situations where most people wouldn’t feel threatened.