"Skinny Dipping" - the skinny on current events, life, sports, and politics from a humorist's perspective by Rose A. Valenta

Monday, September 22, 2008

First Day of Fall - Celebrate With a Great "Late for Work" Excuse

As of 11:44:16 EDT, Monday, September 22, 2008, the first day of fall kicked in. What better way to celebrate the occasion than falling behind schedule and making up some bizarre reason for being late for work.

I checked into the most popular excuses for being late and also polled a few managers to find out the most outrageous excuses they were given. Here are the top 10:

1. While rowing across the river to work, I got lost in the fog. (MSN, Careers)2. My kid stole my car, so I couldn’t drive to work3. The line was too long at Duncan Donuts4. Someone stole my hub caps5. My normal route to work was barricaded for a tailgate party and I stopped for pulled pork6. The guy next to me was picking his nose at a traffic light and I was out of barf bags, so I had to pull over7. I didn't have money for gas because all of the pawnshops were closed (MSN, Careers)8. I was trying to get my gun back from the police (MSN, Careers)9. As I left the deli, someone stole my cheese10. I logged on to YouTube this morning and lost track of time

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About Me

Twitter: @rosevalenta Humor columnist.
Welcome to Rosie's Renegade Humor Blog. The word "Renegade" describes it all - seriocomic musings about current events, politics, sports, and humorous happenings from around the world. You know, "Skinny Dipping!"
I attend the bi-annual Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop at the University of Dayton, am one of the directors of the Robert Benchley Society, and the previous Membership Chair of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
I wrote for a subsidiary of McGraw-Hill for 12 years, as a technical staff writer and freelanced for other industry publications. I took creative writing courses at Delaware Technical College and attended classes at the Philadelphia Improv Theater. Many of my articles are syndicated and have appeared in USA TODAY, Newsday.com, The Courier Post, The Wall Street Journal, and many other publications.

I am available for speaking engagements, please e-mail: ebww2014@comcast.net