Wow, today feels so awesome. It’s sunny and warmish outside, for one thing, and how that DO brighten the spirit, but more than that, it’s a day that I’ve spent alone and purposefully. Torie stayed at my parents’ house last night with Van and Jesse, for an all-nighter watching movies. I love that my kids like each other. I feel pretty today, too, having put my hair up in a new style, and I’m wearing bright pink lips. That’s a nice change from my usual self-loathing. Also, I’m wearing these new stretchy capris that feel amazing and are super flattering. I exercised, dancing around while attempting to avoid my cat’s paws, because he kept flopping down in front of me and batting at my feet. (I accidentally stepped on him once, lightly, but I’d warned him, the plus of which is that he stopped trying to grab my feet and decided to wait for me behind the chair.)

I also worked on my book and am happy to report that the more I work on it, the more ideas keep coming to me for the story’s direction. This renewed influx of inspiration is jazzing me up to work on it so it doesn’t feel like a drudge, and I’m actually eager to get to it. Well, eagerer anyway. Regarding the new occupation I’ve been considering, the one I haven’t told you about yet, well, it’s in funeral services. Last summer when I was visiting, before we moved, I picked up the local college catalog and was glancing through programs of study. The funeral services course caught my eye and went to my brain and has been lingering there ever since. A couple days ago I watched a show called, I think, POV: A Family Undertaking, and it was all about the beauty of home funerals as opposed to mortuary funerals, and this threw me for a loop, especially when I saw a scene of a real embalming, which was, hello, EWW. Six Feet Under, while they did their best, was not realistic, okay? After watching the program, I was ready to throw in the towel and turn my mind to other ideas, but strangely, I’ve found that my mind is refusing to turn away. I don’t know what’s up. So, it’s possible that within the next couple weeks I’ll be contacting my dad’s funeral director friend to see if I can shadow him or one of his employees for a few hours, just to see if I can deal with seeing dead bodies and smelling their dead smells. Let alone handling their dead selves.

This is how I see it. Our bodies are made of earth, more or less, right? Matter, anyway. And, even after the person is gone, I feel that her or his earth body is sacred and that it would be an honor to be the one to prepare it for burial. Having once been a pie-in-the-sky christian, I do… so… long to celebrate humanity, the earth, and nature – everything that my erstwhile particular brand of christianity told me was sinful and must be squelched. On the other hand, I have a very strong reluctance to put chemical-soaked bodies, tucked in varnished coffins, in the ground; I think it’s pollution and utterly, utterly unnecessary; but… maybe, just maybe, if I walk in the door of this profession I’ll be able to move into another direction as a result. I’m just thinking aloud. Thinking aloud to you now, and letting my thoughts simmer for as long as it takes, though if I want to get in next fall’s program I would have to register soon. Anyway, it doesn’t even have to be this year. So. That’s what’s on my mind right now.

But so is this idea of mindful meditation (thank you Twila, for the term!). It’s when you give your full attention to whatever you’re doing, without letting your thoughts creep into future tasks or even present worries. And for me it’s also meant moving slowly through my day and choosing my actions purposefully. It’s revolutionary to me, personally, because I was always a quipper and a rusher. I completely love this new way of being. Oh, and I found my little ring of African women in storage, as well as my rag doll. Score! (Oh bum. I was going to take photos, but Torie has her camera. Ah well.) Love! xo

8 responses to “Yay for Parks and Recreation because The Office now blows.”

I SO totally relate to the “not embalming” “no coffin” thing. I want to be buried directly in the dirt, wrapped only in a thin robe of natural fibers (and with my red, patent leather pumps, but that’s another story). Many people have told me this is illegal and not done, but I’ve discovered a movement called “Natural Burial”. (http://www.naturalburial.coop/about-natural-burial/) This is what I want.

Oh, I’m very disappointed you were joking about the pumps… hee. I know, Scott, seriously. I think you would like that P.O.V. program (which you can stream on Netflix), and from what I understand, there are only four states in which it’s outright illegal to conduct home burials. Each state has its own regulations. The big problem is that people don’t know they CAN bury at home, or prepare their loved ones’ bodies themselves, etc. I’m glad to hear you want a natural burial, and I’m excited to check into that link. Thank you!

Scotty, that link was SO helpful to me. There’s something to this desire I have to honor the body after death, but I may need to look in avenues other than conventional funeral services, since they’re pretty much 100% against everything I believe. Hm. More food for thought.

Wow, Kells. That was NOT what I expected you to be jonesing for!!! Wow. I was just telling Tam that I want a green funeral (http://www.greenburials.org/). That is pretty darn cool.

Glad you had an awesome day today. Mine was kind of sucky. One of those days where you spend all your time telling yourself to stop with the pity party, already! You know, where you try to remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for but it totally doesn’t work its usual magic and you just feel on the verge of tears for absolutely no reason and want to be cuddled except if anyone tried to touch you it would cause you to snap and god knows what you would do to the poor soul trying to help. One of those days. But I feel better since Tam took me to an art gallery opening. I like doing that.

I really hope green funerals become the trend! Really, really. We have to make better friends with the earth; it’s ridiculous how bad we are to it. sigh.

I’m sorry you had a sucky day, sweetie. I HATE those so much, but have them too often. It’s always a relief to have a good one instead. I can relate to your feeling of wanting to be cuddled but not touched… hee! TOTALLY. People are so weird. I love us. And you got to go to an art gallery opening! How awesome is that?? It’s good to feast our eyes and be inspired… How is school going? Is it overwhelming, or still at the fun and fresh stage?

Oh, and thank you for the Green Burials link. I learned a lot from the links you and Scott sent, and the information is helping me make a better decision regarding what to do with my life (and death!). kisses!

So I know I’m way late on this (also on wishing Van a happy 25th!) but I’ve wanted to be composted for a long time. I haven’t really looked into it much yet, though I should. I guess it’s because I’ve moved too much to bother figuring out my state’s regulations. But this is what I would like done: Donate my organs, then donate my body to science. And when they are done, compost the rest of it. I’m not sentimental about my body, but I think embalming is so freaking WEIRD and unnatural. So if composting (maybe this is natural burial?) isn’t an option I’d prefer to be cremated. Anyway, cool idea for a profession, really. Not only is it something that would better the environment, but it would also give the families a more holistic sense of closure.

Jenn, I remember reading about composting in Mary Roach’s book Stiff, which is excellent, by the way… I think it’s a marvelous idea, and I would love to have it done to my body, too, though I’ve placed ALL decisions regarding my after-death in the hands of my family, because I won’t be here, and I want whatever is easiest for them, even if it means tossing me in the ocean. I don’t and won’t care. (Nobody in my family wants an actual embalming-type funeral, so that’s not on the table of options anyway, and we’ve all discussed natural burial. That’s probably what will happen.) Have you seen A Family Undertaking: POV? It’s excellent.

Watching…

INTERMITTENT ONGOING SERIES:

~iZombie

~American Horror Story: Freak Show

~Supernatural, Season 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RECENTLY WATCHED:

~Byzantium

~Angel, Season 5

~Dark Matter

~What We Do In The Shadows

Everything is working out perfectly. Don’t waste energy thinking that you should have done something else. What you did that doesn’t now seem to make sense is just part of a puzzle that may not be completed for years. ~ Pamela Rainbear Portugal