The other week zoomtard was givin it socks and I learned a lot. But one of the things that it got me thinking about (through a picture of some man i’m too young to appreciate) was how thankful i am that Jesus never got married. Not because it would have been a terrible thing, but because it reminds me that being whole sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually and any other way does not depend on sex or marriage because Jesus is the most complete human being that has ever been. And in today’s culture that seems significant.

Every culture has it’s rites of passages. Hunting, tattoos, graduation, first beer, first communion, first kiss… sex… . our community tells us that we’re not quite whole unless we’ve gone through ‘the’ process. We will always be an outsider looking in until we do it (whatever ‘it’ may be). In the west one of the strongest messages we receive is that our sexuality is only complete when we’ve experienced sexual intercourse. We will not be real women or men until… but Jesus’ sexuality was not lacking anything. Therefore, our femininity and masculinity is never found in sex. I know this to be true and yet i still find it hard to get my head around.

What is our masculinity and femininity? are they even real things or are they social constructs? i don’t think so. But what is it then that allows these parts of us to flourish or be restored? It’s definitely not sex, and the sooner we learn that the better because to live like it is damages us and those around us.

In the movie Lars’ brother answers the question like this:

Gus: Um. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s uh, yeah, yeah it’s kind of – it’s uh – no. Well, it’s kind of sex but it’s not uh, you know? I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s – uh – good question, good question.Lars Lindstrom: Yeah, but I have to knowGus: Well, it’s not like you’re one thing or the other, okay? There’s still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what’s right for you, what’s right for everybody, even when it hurts.Lars Lindstrom: Okay, like what?Gus: Like, you know, like, you don’t jerk people around, you know, and you don’t cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you’re wrong, or you try to, anyways. That’s all I can think of, you know – it sound like it’s easy and for some reason it’s not.

loving people well? is that the answer to what it means to be whole sexually, and any other way. maybe old Gus is onto something?…