"Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of men, The King of
men, The God of men, From the evil of the whisperings of the
slinking (devil), Who whispers into the hearts of men, From among
the jinn and the men." Holy Qur’an (Sura 114 verses
1-6)

There are no parents who are free of mistakes or errors
in the rearing of their children. It is sad that we can go to
colleges and universities to receive degrees that tell us that we
are qualified to work in our various fields of endeavor, but, the
most important endeavor, which is the building of human life
through the skill of parenting does not seem to matter in our
quest for the acquisition of knowledge. There are no courses
offered in high school or college that will allow us to become
proficient in this skill. Yet, all of us will eventually become
parents. Doctors who make mistakes or errors can leave their
patients permanently wounded or even dead. Lawyers who make
mistakes can cause their clients to suffer great loss, even the
loss of life. Builders who make mistakes can cause what they build
to crumble and fall.

What happens when we make errors or mistakes in the rearing of
our children?

In my travels promoting the Million Family March,
I am seeing the beauty of American cities and the billions and
trillions of dollars that are being spent to make these cities
some of the most beautiful and attractive that can be found
anywhere in the world, but, all of these cities are peopled with
persons who are the victims of mistakes and errors in the
stewardship of their lives, either by their parents, teachers,
pastors or the institutions of the society in general.

To see a human being made in the image and likeness of Allah
(God) lying under a bridge, or keeping warm on a cold winter’s
night on a grate with a cardboard covering; then, to see the many,
many homeless persons in America, the derelicts, the malcontents,
the prisoners, the social misfits, those who suffer mental
illness. This society has misplaced values and priorities. This
world places more value on things than on people. More money is
spent on things than on the proper cultivation of the people.
Parents are abandoning the responsibility of rearing their
children to go out into the workplace to make money to buy things,
leaving the children to be nurtured by the filth and ignorance
that is bombarding their minds through television, radio,
magazines, and newspapers. There is no doubt in my mind that
parents generally love their children, but, our overwhelming
ignorance disallows that natural love to become a creative force
that would guide the development of our offspring. Therefore,
parents look at their children and say, "I did the best
that I could," but, they also often ask the question,
"Where did I go wrong or what did I do wrong?"

There is no child, or grownup who reads this article, who in
thinking back on their childhood does not remember some injustice
done to them by their parents that marked them and stays with them
even though they have reached maturity and beyond, but, the remedy
for all mistakes is found in the verses of the Qur’an that
opened this article, "I seek refuge in the Lord of men."
The word Lord, or Rabb, in Arabic means nurturer or nourisher. All
of us as children have sought refuge in our mothers, because all
of us have been nurtured or nourished by our mothers, and, each of
us when we felt troubled in our infancy or youth sought refuge and
comfort in our mothers. This is why, next to the worship of Allah
(God), and, obedience to His Messengers and Prophets, the honor
and respect of mother is of prime importance. Yet, all of our
mothers have made mistakes in rearing us. All of them in ignorance
have neglected some of our needs that would have made us more
psychologically and emotionally secure.

In our growth and development, we
outgrow the need to seek nurturing from our mothers, then, we look
at the "King of men." If we take the
"King of men" to mean the political
leaders that govern the political life of the individual or the
nation, we grow to look at our leaders and to seek refuge in them
from those things in society that ill effect our growth and
development. Yet, we are dissatisfied, for, none of our political
leaders; none of the rules and laws that politicians made to
govern our lives has offered us the total security and peace that
our nature cries out for. There is no mother, no teacher, no
politician, and no leader who has led or taught us and has not
made mistakes or errors.

A mistake is an unintentional departure from what is right; an
error is an intentional departure from what we know is right.
These errors and mistakes hinder the full growth and development
of the person, so, we outgrow the need to seek refuge in our
leaders, political and otherwise, but to seek refuge in the "God
of men" is the ultimate place of refuge, for, no
matter what mistakes or errors were made in the parenting of our
children; no matter how our children were neglected and not
corrected, when we get to Allah (God) we have reached Him who is
perfect; we have reached Him who suffices all needs; we have
reached Him who is the end of all excuses that we make for our
failures in life, blaming these failures on those who have
stewarded our lives and in some way have failed.

The greatest gift that any parent can give a child is to give
that child the knowledge of Allah (God). At some point in our
lives, we have all called on Him, oft-times when we are in great
trouble. At that time, we promised Allah (God) that if He saved us
from the predicament that we were in, that we would straighten out
our lives and serve Him for the rest of our lives. This tells us
that in nature our duty is to serve our Creator. However, to turn
our lives over to Him, and, to feed on the perfection of His Word
is to begin the process of rectifying all of the mistakes and
errors that have been made by those who have stewarded our lives
and have been the guardians of our rights.

No matter what failure, we as parents have made in the rearing
of our children, if, or when our children learn to seek refuge in
the "God of men," they will be freed from
the whispering of a slinking devil that whispers into their hearts
from the emotion of our anger, pain, envy, jealousy, fear, grief
and, from the whispering of others who try to comfort us in our
negativity against our parents, teachers, and leaders, by
encouraging us in our condemnation of them. When our children see
errors or mistakes in their parents, politicians, leaders; when
our children see weakness in leaders, when we seek refuge in Allah
(God), the God of men, we will cease to blame others for any
failures in our life, but, we will take the responsibility that
Allah (God) gave us when He gave us life, and, that is, to take
charge of our lives and to live our lives in accord with the Will
and the Way of Allah (God).