The death of discipline: Parents 'avoid telling children off for fear of upsetting them'

We all remember getting a good telling-off from Mum or Dad. And it didn't appear to do us any harm.

But it seems that today's parents have forgotten that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

A quarter of adults are so afraid of upsetting their children that they do not discipline them at all, a survey found.

A quarter of adults are too scared about upsetting their children to tell them off

Three in ten admitted to being 'a pushover' with their offspring.

This is despite the fact that 55 per cent of those polled said their own parents had been stricter with them, and more than a third said they feared a lack of boundaries could lead to their children getting into trouble.

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Parents are increasingly reluctant to tell off their children because they don't want to be seen as unfair or strict, the survey into attitudes to discipline found.

More than half of parents saw themselves more as their child's friend than parents and would rather sit down and talk things through than discipline them.

The old method: 1950s parenting was a lot more strict

But nine in ten of the parents polled said they had been subject to
strict discipline as a child. Six in ten were smacked, a similar
proportion were sent to their room and close to half were sent to bed
early.

One in five said they were made to miss dinner, while one in ten had their 'ears boxed' or their mouths washed out with soap.

The vast majority - 93 per cent - said they grew up respecting their elders and eight in ten said one telling-off was enough to stop them misbehaving again.

One in three parents chose a punishment such as restricting iPod access

But today's children have a much easier ride. One in four parents told researchers that they shied away from telling off their children because they wanted 'an easy life'.

Just three in ten said they had sent their child to bed early. One in three had restricted a child's access to an iPod, mobile phone or computer.

One in 20 said they would do 'absolutely nothing' to punish a child. But a quarter of those polled said they wished they were more strict because their child was a tearaway.

Children are told off on average twice a day, the research found, but most parents believe the lecture falls on deaf ears.

The survey of 2,000 parents was conducted for the Armed Forces Cadet movement. A spokesman said: 'It seems children these days get a far easier ride than parents did 20 or 30 years ago.

'Our survey suggests mums and dads tend to avoid ticking off their children because it's easier than having to deal with them kicking up more of a fuss. They don't want to be seen as too strict and not enough of a friend who their kids feel comfortable talking to.

'Getting involved in exciting and challenging structured activities in their spare time can help children and young people discover the benefits of self-discipline, teamwork and respect for others.

'Organisations such as the cadet forces encourage young people to learn to take responsibility for themselves and others while making friends and having a good time.'

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Parents 'avoid telling children off for fear of upsetting them', new survey finds