Telling you how it is on love, life, work and therapy

Month: June 2016

Question Time: You’re happy & settled in your relationship, you’re safe in the knowledge that no one new could sway either of you. But then up pops his ex… She is messaging him all the time, drunk calling him and somehow wherever you both are she just happens to be too. He swears he isn’t interested and that she is just trying to be friendly. But why now, you’ve been with him for months and she wasn’t around before?

You have 2 ways to go with this, you tell him to stop being in contact with her, but then you seem like a jealous crazy lady, or you let them continue and hope he comes to his senses?

Tip: No one likes a psycho b*tch, the more you react to this, the more chances she has of worming her way back in. This is the moment you check yourself, check your relationship and check your head. Let her crack on, he’s waking up with you every morning, not her. Be sweetness and light when you see her, let them catch up and have a smile on your face when they do. They broke up for a reason and now he is with you, and who could compete with how you satisfy him…

Lesson to Learn: Don’t fall into the trap, be the cool chilled girlfriend he likes, and maybe if you find yourself in the loo with her quietly lock her in the cubicle, then take your boyfriend and go.

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Question Time: How do you stop letting these anxious feelings enter your brain. They can be anything from worrying that a guy hasn’t replied to your messages, or to a drastic fear of being stuck in life when everyone else seems set. It can take form in a shortness of breath, almost like you have forgotten to breathe; to heart palpitations, trembling and nausea, it may leave you feeling unreal and detached from your surroundings.

Tips: The problem is that everyone has different anxieties so trying to find a universal remedy is near on impossible. Here are a few ideas that have helped me:

First thing is to accept that you are having an anxious episode, so you aren’t panicked about what is happening to you, you are fully aware of it and can face it straight on.

Waking up every morning and giving yourself 10 minutes of meditating, to clear your mind and to meditate positive thoughts. Tips on meditating.

Practising the here and now. Being Present in the room, not letting your mind wander off. Good exercise to try.

Write down at that current moment everything your mind is chucking at you. Don’t analyse it there and then, go back to it when you’re not having an attack. You can then dissect it and try to figure out what is an actual problem and what is a crazy brain problem.

Talk to mates, let them know your situation, most likely they have had similar issues. Makes it nicer to know you’re not such a freak.

Lastly, if it still persists (sometimes it can just be a temporary phase) then I suggest going to see someone to help you figure out your inner issues. Different Therapies.

Lesson to Learn: Being anxious sucks ass. You feel lonely, scared and almost like you should be locked up. Most of us go through it at some point, be open with it, understand it and know that you can and will change it.

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