- I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "please, think of my children!"
Kinky bitch.

- The gorgeous woman from next door popped round today and said,"Hello handsome, are you free tonight?"
I said, "Er... wow... yes, yes I am."
She said, "Brilliant, can you watch my daughter while I go out?"
Ah well, when one door closes, another one opens.

- How can a grandma still be useful after she has passed away?
Turn her upside-down and use what's leftover for chip dip.

- How do you know if a nigress is pregnant?
The tampon comes out with the cotton picked.

- A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar.
The bartender comes up and asks, "Hey, that's pretty cool. Where'd you get it?"
"Africa", said the parrot...