Archive for September, 2012

And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Jesus speaking to the criminal being crucified with Him.) – Luke 23:42-43 “In this life we will never be perfect,” wrote Anthony, the man who murdered my dad, “but in the one to come, you and I will be brother and sister, as much as you may hate that now.” It was a difficult truth to swallow. But I knew Anthony was right. In God’s economy, murderers and rapists will stand worshipping before the throne of Jesus alongside every other Christ follower. Indeed, God’s ways are not our own. Christ died for all who place their faith in Him––murderers and homeschooling moms alike. This is why the doctrine of grace offends many. In church a couple weeks ago, my pastor said something…

…for we walk by faith, not by sight. – 2 Corinthians 5:7 I knew that I could trust Jesus, but when called to love and forgive my enemy, I was scared. I didn’t know where this was going. I didn’t know how it would end. Yet, I knew that I had already allowed fear to motivate me far too long. When the anxiety first came, it hit hard. The once fearless, self-sufficient, social woman I knew crumbled and left in it’s place a scared little girl who had little energy to get out of bed each morning. Panic attacks would come out of no where, with no warning. It was all so irrational. The worst part was that I knew it was irrational, but I didn’t know how to conquer it. Fear had taken over and was my main motivator. But when I was saved, God gave me the grace to overcome my…

I was freaking out. There’s simply no other way to describe it. I just received that first letter from Anthony, but I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should respond. I didn’t know how to respond. Again, I knew God was leading me down this path, but I didn’t know what to do next. I needed to know His will. I needed to know what He wanted me to do. I prayed. I spoke to my husband. I called one of my best friends, all of which helped, yet still, no clarity. Then, I called one of my pastors. “Bobby, I just got a letter from the man who murdered my dad. I don’t know what to do,” I said. I gave him some background as he listened on the other end. “I just want to do what God wants me to do, but I don’t know what…

I have to be honest, when I began this journey, I understood my need to forgive and knew that forgiving would bring me to a new and better place. I wanted to forgive. The thing I did not want to do, however, was love my enemy. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. The word “love” in the same sentence as “enemy” didn’t seem to make sense to me. What’s more, the word “love” in reference to Anthony was repulsive. Still, I knew that this is what the bible tells us to do. Jesus says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). Yet, I didn’t quite understand it. The only insight I had on how to do this was to pray for Anthony and to do what God told me to do, which was to bring him a bible. So, out of obedience,…

It was May 18, 2010––close to 10 years after my dad was murdered––when my husband, Travis, came home from work with a letter in his hand. “You’ve got a letter,” he said. “Thanks,” I said smiling as he handed it to me. I looked down to see a bold stamp on the backside of the envelope reading, “NORTHERN NEVADA CORRECTIONAL CENTER.” Looking up at Travis, I spoke in a faint whisper, “I gotta…I gotta go. Take care of the girls.” I ran upstairs and into my bedroom, closing and locking the door behind me. I didn’t want my girls to see me like this. I heard my daughter ask, “What’s Mommy doing?” “She just needs to take care of something,” Travis said, “Wanna help me with dinner?” “Yea!” she said with glee. I sat there, on my bed, for what seemed like hours simply holding the letter, tears pouring forth, willing…

One of my favorite phrases in the bible is “but God.” It may seem silly, I know, but I have it posted on my lamp beside my bed. It helps me to remember where God found me, and that I can trust Him no matter what situation may arise. We so quickly forget what God has shown us, what He has done, but this is something I always want to remember. Something I must remember. My girls are beginning to read and are becoming increasingly aware of the words they find around them. One morning not long ago, my older daughter asked me why I have these two words written on a post-it, haphazardly stuck to my lamp, and I told her this: “all through the bible there are things that happen––people sin or something goes wrong––but over and over there are two words that make it all better, ‘but…

I am well aware of the fact that we’ve been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff so far. But I’d like to encourage you to hang in there. Don’t let the weightiness of these difficult topics deter you from the blessings that awaits you on the other side of forgiveness. To be completely honest, healing is hard work. It’s painful. It requires you to go to the hard places––to the deepest darkest crevices of your soul––and to allow Jesus to mine out that darkness and replace it with His light. This is no easy feat. It hurts, but beauty is left behind when we allow Jesus full and complete access to our wounds, our walls, our pain. Oh, how I love our God! As mentioned before, I am no expert, and I too, find myself struggling with forgiveness from time to time, but the Lord has taught me much on…

There’s an amazing woman I’ve recently had the pleasure to meet named Sarah Martin. She ministers to twenty-something Christian women through her blog Live It Out and her book Stress Point, and she has so graciously offered to allow me to share a bit of my heart on her blog. Be sure to check it out! And if you’re visiting from Live It Out, welcome!! I hope you’ll take a moment and stay a while. Thank you, Sarah, for your heart, your ministry, and for being the blessing that you are.

Today, I am blessed to be sharing a bit of my story on the blog Simply Me. Be sure to stop by Simply Me and see my new friend, Veronica, as she explores being content in who God made us to be. Many gems can be found in Veronica’s posts! If you’re visiting my site from Simply Me. I’m glad you’re here! And I hope you’ll enjoy, explore, and stay a while… Blessings to you all!

Okay…I’ve been taking on too much of an authoritative voice in my blog up to this point. That said, here’s my commitment to alleviate this problem (call it repentance if you will). To lay it all out there, I am someone who has been through the ringer, so to speak, but I have by NO means “arrived.” And I never will (no matter how much I want to) in this life. I fear that I’ve been painting this picture of myself that is simply not true. I am not perfect. In fact, I am far from it. So, who am I? I am a Christ follower who attempts to follow Jesus in all I do and all I say, yet I continually fail. Time and time again, I fail, which frustrates me to no end. But I am oh so thankful for these failures, for it is through them that Jesus…