EC hands Serbia one fixture ban and small fine for starting World War 1

After assassinating ArchDuke Ferdinand, Serbian officials have admitted they were quietly pleased with the lenient sentence handed out by the EC for their role in what observers dubbed The Great War.

Britain, however are unlikely to escape punishment for their part in the disgraceful scenes that followed. "Ze English have blood on their hends and zey must pay the price for being bad Europeans," said EC boss Platini De Gaul, who was reportedly furious that a bunch of Hugenots had taken up refuge in London's East End.