Going into the final day of the MLB season in Washingotn DC, the main topic of discussion wasn't whether or not the Nationals would finish with the best record in baseball…but instead, whether or not Teddy Roosevelt would win the Presidents Race. Roosevelt had lost 525 races in a row coming into Wednesday's Phillies-Nationals game, and with Washington going to the playoffs, many thought he'd finally get his win.

Well, he finally did, with a little outside interference from a Phillie Phanatic impostor that took out the other three presidents in the race. Our long national nightmare is over, and maybe we can finally move on with the ridiculousness of Teddy's losing streak. It seems like every team has some sort of mascot race nowadays, from tools in Atlanta, to pierogies in Pittsburgh, to sausages in Milwaukee. I'm not sure something as largely meaningless as this has received more attention…well, aside from the time Randall Simon hit one of the Brewers' Racing Sausages with a bat.

About Joe Lucia

I'm the managing editor of Awful Announcing and the news editor of The Comeback. I also made The Outside Corner a thing for six seasons.