Cellophane: Many people see the UO’s refusal to let people talk to its new legal honcho, or even know what he looks like, as a betrayal of the transparency UO cheese Richard Lariviere has promised. They’re reading the tea-leaves wrong. Here’s the truth: Randy Geller doesn’t actually exist. People don’t know this, but ex-UO cheese Dave Frohnmayer has an extensive and beloved collection of handmade sock puppets. He named his favorite Randy Geller, after pro-wrestler Randy Savage and spoon-bender Uri Geller, his two favorite celebrities*. He loved it so much he decided to appoint it to his General Counsel’s office. But two years ago, it tragically came apart in the wash. Frohnmayer was so attached to it, the UO administration agreed he couldn’t be allowed to know, so they have been pretending it still exists to preserve his feelings. The recent promotion was an attempt to perpetuate the ruse. UO officials believed nobody would notice. But it has all backfired in their faces and become a little embarrassing. Seriously, has anybody ever met Randy Geller? (KEZI)

Bacchanalia: The Eugene Police are readying their truncheons in case the combination of Halloween and Saturday’s Oregon Football/Hated Trojans match will produce a human tempest of epic proportions, but seem less apocalyptic in their demeanor than they were in the last such story. (Register-Guard)

Letters: Every Thursday is Christmas day for letters-to-the-editor fans because the Eugene Weekly comes out. This one contains so much hatred for Art Robinson, the Eugene Weekly and the electoral process. The Guard‘s mailbag has bile for the Lane County Commissioners, LTD and NPR.

Emerald sports word-fiddler Lucas Clark puzzles over a professional basketball team from Miami, Fla. (Emerald)

* You think I’m making this up? Ask him.**

** He will tell you I’m definitely making this up.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 28th, 2010 at 03:06 by Alex Tomchak Scott and is filed under Media.
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I saw Francis at the hardware store recently. I think the real news story is how good ol UO Housing (now former) overlord Mike Eyster now steers the LTD clan’s “EMX WARS”. These epic transportation conflicts will be super sustainable (visioning,mediation,koolaid,etc). Eyster was the guy who built the vinyl slums called Spencerview.

I’m a former ODE reporter/editor and I never spoke with or saw Randy Gellar or Melinda Grier either, despite several attempts. I wasn’t even sure Melinda existed until she left the job and I saw a photograph.

For that matter, I don’t believe Francis Dyke exists either. No amount of badgering her assistant ever got her to return a phone call.

I never saw Randy Geller or Melinda Grier. I went into the general counsel office once and tried to speak to one of them. The secretary went into a dark and foreboding room, from which I heard much hissing and the black speech of Mordor, and then she returned and said they were busy.