Followers

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

David
“Caesar” Cameron today revealed his intention to desperately
assert his role in the centuries old conflict over the future of
Europe within the Conservative Party.

“It's
time to ask important questions about the Treaty of Rome, some say we
should be fearful of asking, “ said Caesar. “But
cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste
of death but once.”

Caesar
laid out his plans for a referendum on whether the Conservative Party
should openly rebel against his leadership or simply continue to tear
itself apart leading to the eventual end of his career just as it had
his predecessors.

“I
am constant as the Northern Star,” explained Cameron with the
Conservation Party united directly behind him as he urged for a
referendum on Britain's relationship with other countries, “Get
going! Run to your houses, fall on your knees, Pray to the gods to
stop the Hague!”

Unfortunately,
a party soothsayer lamented that Caesar's fate is sealed in the stars
because neither the Tories themselves, nor the other member states, could ever agree on
a role for Britain within the EU.

“Those
hard hearts and the cruel men of Rome will prevent Caesar continuing
to act into the fifth year of the next parliament,” said the sage.
“He will of course be stabbed in the back at the beginning of the
third year. His political epitaph is likely to be 'Et tu Boris?'.”