Recently, I spent some time perusing the 1,385 messages in my spam folder.

Not surprisingly, patterns began to arise.

I extracted a collection of subject lines and headers that either grabbed my attention, made me laugh, or caused my body to react in ANY kind of way. After all, emotion is the final arbiter of truth. And your body never lies to you.

TODAY’S CHALLENGE: As you read each of these subject lines, set aside your distaste for spam. Forget about the fact that you (probably) don’t need Viagra.

Turn on your marketing brain to learn eight more powerful lessons (read the first eight lessons here!) from the masters of capturing attention and piquing curiosity:

1. Help her blast off with your meat rocket. Out of the sixteen examples on this list, “meat rocket” is one of my faves. Sure, it’s raunchy. And by no means should your marketing reflect such adolescent verbiage.

But you HAVE appreciate the sheer poetry of this headline. Not to mention, it’s hilarious. Plus, what guy wouldn’t want his girlfriend to experience the sexual ecstasy of Apollo 13? Well done.

SPAM SECRET: People want sex. How are you helping them get more of it?

2. I haven’t heard from you. Ah ha! More cognitive dissonance for people who place high value on approachability. Now, admittedly, this headline has tricked me several times over the years. I’ve even clicked through once or twice, only to find myself at a website that gave my computer a virus. Dang it.

I blame my inability to experience myself as being an unapproachable, distant jerk. The other half is, I’ve actually received REAL emails from REAL people using this very headline. It hurts.

SPAM SECRET: People don’t like being perceived negatively. How can you tempt them?

3. Maintain your weight – amputate. Holy Slim Fast. This is, by far, the most absurd, disgusting and embarrassing thing I’ve ever read in an email. Which is exactly why it caught my attention. Now, I’m not suggesting you start telling customers that self-mutilation is the secret to success.

Your challenge is to think about what this headline says about our culture. Yes, it’s ludicrous. Yes, it’s disgusting. But would it (honestly) surprise you if you turned on CNN and the top headline was, “Man amputates leg to lose weight”? Wouldn’t shock me. People will do ANYTHING to lose weight, especially if the strategy requires no work other than locating the chainsaw. Eew.

SPAM SECRET: People want to be thin. Are you helping them get there quicker?

4. That with stirs of feet and wings. This headline sounded so poetic, I just had to google it. Sure enough, that line comes from a poem called The Kitten and Falling Leaves by William Wadsworth.

5. Make her shout like an alarm. Excellent use of simile. Paints a vivid picture. Plus, this headline puts the company’s product in the customer’s future by describing the benefit of the benefit of the benefit. Well done. The only way to improve this headline would be to make a comment about waking up the neighbors. That’s the ultimate.

(Oh, don’t act like you’ve never been on SOME end of that situation before).

I don’t care if you’re male or female, straight or gay, passion is passion. And there’s nothing more gratifying than when the stunningly beautiful Brazilian model that lives in the unit below you knocks on the door one day to shyly tell you that you and your girlfriend should try to, ahem, “keep it down” at night. Hypothetically.

SPAM SECRET: People want sex. Did you forget that already?

6. Your friend, Peter, thought that you would be interested in this album. First, the headline uses a common name. Most people probably have a friend named Peter. Second, the headline implies that Peter took the time out of his busy schedule to recommend a record JUST for you.

Wow. Good ol’ Pete. What a guy. And you wouldn’t want his precious time to go to waste, now would you? Finally, let’s say you delete the email. Then, three weeks later, you run into Peter and his wife at McDonald’s.

"Hey Scott! Long time no see! Say, how’s that album I recommended to you a few weeks back? Did you listen to it? Wasn’t it great? That was the debut LP of my wife’s new band, Death by Marshmallow. They’re huge in Bulgaria!”

SPAM SECRET: People like recommendations. Did you know that’s how Amazon makes billions?

7. Wrong. Unbelievably powerful. ONE word and I was hooked. Wrong. And the cool part is, this headline appeals to various personalities. First, if you’re the type of person who always has to be right, your ego will be triggered immediately. And you’ll go to the end of the earth to prove that you were NOT wrong.

Or, if you’re like me and enjoy being wrong to stimulate learning opportunities, this headline would entice you to open the letter immediately and excitedly discover where you screwed up.

SPAM SECRET: People cherish their egos. Are you speaking to them?

8. You didn’t even think about it. I saved this one for last. Personally, I think it’s the most powerful, most effective and most emotional headline on the list. First, by using the past tense, it forces the reader to immediately begin traveling back in time, questioning her own reflection abilities. Wait a minute – was there something I should have been contemplating that I forgot? Oh no!

Second, the word “even.” As if something as simple and effortless like “thinking” was the minimum requirement, and you couldn’t even satisfy that. Jeez. Way to be an insensitive jerk.

Lastly, I admit that I’ve been guilty of this mistake before. Hey, I’m not perfect. I get lazy. And I’ve had people (whom I LOVE) confront me in person, via email or over the phone and say, “You didn’t even think about.”

It hurts. Badly. Cuts deep down the core. So, while effective marketing (shouldn’t have to) resort to making customers feel like wretched human beings, your challenge is to pinpoint the self-interest of the people you serve, and speak to it.

SPAM SECRET: People don’t like being jerks. Are you calling them out?

Now that you’ve been schooled in the ways of spam, here’s your final exercise.

1. Take five minutes to peruse your spam folder. You might want to do this at home so your boss doesn’t look over your shoulder and wonder why you’re reading emails about “meat rockets.”

2. Record your reactions. Any time a subject headline makes you smile, laugh, roll your eyes or become nauseated, write it down.

3. Extract the lessons. Look for commonalities among all the headlines. Democratize and genericize the centrals marketing themes. Then, write out a list of “spam secrets.”

4. Apply. Execute those strategies in your own marketing practices in an ethical, professional manner.

REMEMBER: This is the best way to help her blast off with your meat rocket.

Hee hee. Meat rocket.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…Are you as savvy as the spammers?

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1. Don’t be a needle in a stack of needles. You will lose. And here’s why: Nobody notices normal, nobody buys boring and nobody pays for average. Period. Amen. Q.E.D. As such, your greatest barrier to business success isn’t a bad economy, stupidity, inexperience, or lack of funding – it’s anonymity.

Therefore: Stop winking in the dark and start being ubiquitous. Perhaps begin by formulating a Visibility Plan. Not a Marketing Plan – a Visibility Plan. Huge difference. Are you everywhere?

2. Remember: Talk isn’t cheap – it’s cheat. A poor substitution for action. That’s like having “ready” and “aim” without the fire. Like snap and crackle without the pop. It’s just not the same.

As the wise philosopher, MC Nametag once said, “Talking smack without doing jack is whack.” Do you give customers lip service or foot service?

3. Don’t make waves – make a tsunami. Waves are for water parks. You’ve got bigger fish to fry. It’s time to devastate the corporate landscape, wake the drones up and start asking questions that flip your organization on its ass. Sure, people will be uncomfortable, but they’ll also be disturbed them into action. Thanks to you.

Next time you attend one of those delightful Monday Morning Meetings, I triple dog dare you to ask that ONE question nobody wants to ask. It’s liberating. Or it might get you fired. Either way, you’re free. How much money is your organization wasting by befriending complacency?

4. One size fits all does nothing but make people feel fat. There are just as many paths as there are people to take them. Don’t be scared away by myopic windbags who claim that their way is THEE way. It’s not. There’s a very thick line between “My Truth” and “The Truth.” How narrow is your thinking?

5. Don’t rock the boat – capsize it. Then see who can swim. Then whoever’s left, take ‘em with you to shore and start a new colony. Think Jerry Maguire. Think, “Who’s coming with me?” Hopefully you’ll have more takers than he did. Are you willing to be a rabble-rouser?

6. Out of the blue means into the green. The most profitable ideas tend to be the most unpredictable ideas. Think about it: History’s most famous inventions, innovations and corporation were fertilized in mistake-flavored, accident-rich compost. For example: John Deer grew from an Illinois farmer’s broken saw blade. Greyhound resulted from uncrossable, unpaved highways between coalmines.

Dr. Pepper came from a heartbroken teenager. Goodyear spawned from a frustrated husband leaving boiling rubber on the stove too long while his wife was away. All out of the blue. All into the green. Your challenge is learning to notice, allow and leverage fortunate mishaps. How could you become more accident-prone?

7. Don’t practice what you preach – preach what you practice. People are more likely to listen to you talk about something if you’ve DONE that something first. It’s the fine line between orthodoxy (the correct beliefs) and orthopraxy (the correct actions).

Here’s the process I’ve been following for nearly a decade: Make a list of the things people constantly compliment you on doing exceptionally well. Go back an ask yourself, “OK, so, apparently I’ve been doing (x) really well. How did I do it? Why is that important? Why did it work? How can teach others how to do the same?” Then, start preaching, Mr. Practice. Are you walking first or talking first?

8. Over the top (often) means inside the memory. It’s a noisy world. And outrageousness is rarely forgotten. Your challenge is to be in people’s faces without being on people’s nerves. My suggestion for doing so is to walk the fine line between risky and reckless.

Here’s how: Risky is succeeding from venturesomeness; reckless is proceeding from carelessness. Risky is treading on thin ice, trotting atop uncertain ground and gracefully balancing out on a limb; reckless is jumping on cracked ice, dancing atop broken ground and scarcely hanging by a thread.

Finally, risky is growing increasingly mindful of how your pebbles ripple; reckless is remaining utterly unconcerned about the consequences of action. Are you memorable for the right reasons?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…Who wants to sit with you at lunch?

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1. Ambiguity is opportunity in disguise. Love it. Welcome it. Embrace it. And know that NOT knowing paves the way for glorious and unimpeded progress. How do you act when faced with ambiguous situations?

2. Art is infection in disguise. That’s your job as an artist – to infect people. To approach your canvas as a syringe, pumping all who see it full of 300 cc’s of your truth. Interestingly, the word inficere literally means, “to put in.” What does your work put into people?

3. Failure is education in disguise. Getting a big fat F is underrated. We all need to fail. Failure is the great fertilizer of growth. Failing leads to flourishing. As long as you intelligently reflect upon the lessons learned and don’t make the same mistake twice. Therefore: If it’s been more than 48 hours since your last failure at something, you’re not risking enough. How have you made losing a regular part of your experience?

4. Selling is solving in disguise. Before your next sales call, ask yourself three crucial questions: What problem do you solve? What are you the answer to? What were you designed to cure? You’ll never treat customers the same again. What unique aspects of your personality could you enlist to help you sell (solve) better?

5. Simplicity is sophistication in disguise. Ever “tried” to make something simpler? It’s hard as hell. Simplicity requires more energy, more brainpower and more courage that complexity. So, here’s my suggestion: Stop being fancy. Stop complicating your message. Stop creating riddles that take too long for impatient readers to solve. That’s a good start. Are you brave enough to be simple?

6. Success is mediocrity in disguise. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. Just watch American Idol. Or read any New York Times bestseller. You don’t even have to be that good. Not anymore. That’s why it pains me to write the following sentence: Even though the cream rises to the top, mediocrity often hitches a ride. Now, personally, I couldn’t do it. Average isn’t acceptable in my world. On the other hand, if you’re at peace with mediocrity, more power to you. In fact, I admire you. Sometimes insisting on awesomeness is a huge pain in the ass. Is average enough for you?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…What are you being seduced by?

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HERE’S WHY: The more admirers you draw into your orbit, the farther your thoughts will travel; and the farther your thoughts travel, the further your career advances.

Today we’re going to learn how to draw admirers into your orbit without being accused of having a messianic complex:

1. Heighten your presence. You don’t have to plaster your mug all over local billboards. No need to imprint your company logo on restaurant urinal cakes. What’s more, you don’t have to be “on” all the time. Nor do you need to be the incessant center of attention.

BUT. (And this is a big but. Like, Oprah big.)

You DO have to arrange to be noticed. If you want to draw admirers into your orbit, you’ve got to place yourself into the spotlight and become The Observed, not The Observer. Even if that’s not your preferred space. As Counting Crows’ Adam Duritz once sang, “I wasn’t made for this scene, but I was made in this scene.”

It begins by believing that you deserve considerable attention. Even if you have to affirm that very statement to yourself every morning in front of the mirror. Fine. Whatever it takes. What specific steps have you taken in the past 48 hours to become less invisible?

That’s your mission. For people to think, “You know, I’m not sure where she’s going with this, but I don’t care because I’m so insanely interested AND having so much fun along the way.”

Remember: Trust is a process of uncertainty reduction enhanced by your commitment to self-consistency. What are you doing to earn and ensure your status of trusted advisor in the mind of the customer?

3. Be delightfully ambiguous. Predictability engenders customer confidence; but only after ambiguity activates the attraction switch. The secret is to invite layers of interpretation beyond surface appearance. To make what you offer rare and hard to find.

And, to wrap yourself in mystery while emanating an aura of delightful spontaneity. That way you leave the public always wanting more, wondering about your next move. Take it from the only person on the planet wearing a nametag 24-7 for ten years: This practice is infinitely profitable.

In fact, I’ve recently discovered (like, within the past month) how to use online video to propagate this very principle. Prepare your melon to be motivated by mystery at www.WatchScottWrite.com. I wonder what a little ambiguity could do for the admirers in YOUR orbit. Are you leaving the public always wanting more, wondering about your next move?

4. Display calmness in the face of unpleasantness. Do not despair in difficult moments. As I learned from The 48 Laws of Power, “While other people get flustered, you’ll look stronger and more attractive by contrast.”

That’s how you profit from idiots: You let them beat themselves. That way, the only thing left to do is take a relaxing stride past the pile of bodies and cross the finish line alone. Are you a paragon of equanimity?

5. Get people to spend time in YOUR environment. I once invited a colleague who was in town to tour my workspace. Not thinking anything of it, she apparently thought it was the coolest office she’d ever seen. So much so that she called me a few months later on behalf of our industry publication to feature my workspace in an upcoming issue of Speaker magazine.

I was ecstatic. What’s more, once the piece went to print, I received dozens of emails, calls and comments from new fans that wanted to learn the strategy behind my creative environment. Which I happily shared with them. For a lot of money. I wonder what would happen if more people regularly experienced your creative territory. Who has a love affair with your turf?

6. Be a strong a vibrant vehicle. For what, I’m not sure. It might not matter. In fact, I’m almost certain it doesn’t matter. Sometimes the conduit is more important than the content. Sometimes the medium trumps message.

Your mission is to OWN it. Are you wasting your time meddling with the message or mastering the medium?

7. Remain in the public eye at any cost. Edison didn’t beat Tesla because he was smarter. Or a harder worker. Or a better inventor. He beat him because he was ubiquitous. Edison. Was. Everywhere. And two things happen when people see your name everywhere:

(1) They assume you’re successful,(2) They want to know how you managed to get there.

Lesson learned: Visibility trumps talent. Lesson learned: Never allow yourself to fade in the background. Even when the limelight casts a narrow beam. Be there or be broke. Because when you slowly fill people’s minds with thoughts of you, it becomes increasingly difficult to endure your absence. Remember: The unseenable isn’t counted. Are winking in the dark?

REMEMBER: An orbit is the gravitationally curved path of one object around a point or another body.

As a Smokin’ Hot Piece of Brain Candy, drawing admirers into your orbit is part of the job description.

In the spirit of Neil Armstrong, let us be reminded:

“One series of small steps for man, one giant leap for man’s bank account.”

LET ME ASK YA THIS…Who is being drawn into your orbit?

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1. Sidestep self-manipulation. “When our lives are not working, there is always at least one thing we’re not facing.” I first read those words in Gay Hendricks’ book, Living Consciously. Then, several months later during a mentoring session, his concept crystallized.

Here’s what happened: My mentee, Rochelle, offered insight into the struggles of a job search as a 50+ single mother. At the end of one particular story, she eipilogued with the following question: And then I asked myself “Did I just get away with not having to face something again?” Wow. Can you imagine how much self-awareness that requires? Good for her.

Here’s the lesson: Look first at what you’re not facing. Honor the existence of what you’ve been evading. Then, engage in a regular practice of healthy self-confrontation. Mirrors work. Yoga works. Writing works. Begin customizing your practice today. Remember: Looking away from what you need to face burns more energy than actually facing it. Where have you been avoiding confronting yourself?

2. Investments in bullshit pay pitiful dividends. I have a good friend who’s a former alcoholic. He once told me that many of the AA members he sponsors are people who go out of their way to stock alibis and make excuses – when they (really) need to scrutinize alternatives and make choices.

“That’s why I always challenge my guys to tell me the biggest thing they’re willing to give up to get sober,” Marty says. “It teaches them to invest in their threshold level of commitment, not their standard-issue line of bullshit.”

Here’s the key: Learn to identify the stories you’re telling yourself. Retain ongoing openness to your misguided perceptions. And be aggressively skeptical about the things your ego tells you. Otherwise, you’ll wind up saluting your illusions for so long that you actually start believing in them. Yikes. How strong is your emotional dividend portfolio?

In reality, certain beliefs you hold outlive their usefulness in your life. You need to learn to be OK with that. Don’t worry – new learnings will emerge. As long as you intentionally create a space for them by calling out your outworn beliefs first. What falsehood are you trying to defend because you want it to be true?

4. Smell something fishy. A fun exercise to better understand the lies you tell yourself is to ask, “What’s my favorite excuse?” Common answers might be: “I couldn’t find the time…” “That’s just who I am…” or “Technically, the warning label on that bottle of Absinthe never said it was illegal to break into the city zoo and steal a family of chinchillas for my church’s chili cook off, Officer.”

5. Become a master of your own disinclination. I exercise everyday. Been doing so for many years. And at age thirty, it’s no longer a habit – it’s a non-negotiable. Like writing or meditation, exercise is just something I do. Everyday. Period. What about you? What’s your daily non-negotiable?

Here’s the secret: Even when you’re not in the mood – ESPECIALLY when you’re not in the mood – you do it anyway. Because discipline trumps desire. Next time you feel the excuse barrage slowly creeping in, call bullshit on yourself by saying, “I don’t have to LIKE it – I just have to do it.” It’s like flossing your teeth: You learn to love what’s good for you, even if you hate it. How well do you kick your own ass?

6. Break the noise patterns. Call bullshit on the buzz of competing voices fighting to drown out your intuition. Don’t let them win. Don’t participate in their fear of the world. And (definitely) don’t allow their negativity to infiltrate your atmosphere.

These voices are additional incarnations of The Resistance. And they’re terrified of intuition because intuition is the language of the body, and the body never lies. So, pick one: Your ego or your anatomy. One talks truth, the other talks trash. Which voice will you listen to?

7. Be not locked into limited concepts of who you are. A simple way to call bullshit on yourself is to calmly, curiously and continuously ask, “What is my evidence to support this belief?” Odds are, you won’t find any. And here’s why: Limits aren’t limits. They’re self-imposed constraints. Paper-thin barricades feeding on a steady diet of your fear of them.

The cool part is, once you start challenging yourself to legitimately defend yourself – i.e., “God I suck at this!” … “Whoa, wait, what is my evidence to support this belief?” – you start to realize that it’s all just noise. Mental mayhem. Whatever it takes to steal you away from the present moment, which is exactly what your ego is most terrified of.

Don’t let it happen. You’re stronger than that. What fictional story have you told yourself so many times that it’s evolved into journalism?

8. Hold an Honesty Pow-Wow with yourself. I learned this move from my peacefully honest friend, Chrissy. It’s simple but not easy. Here’s how it’s done: Drop the veil and openly acknowledge that you have chosen to be where you are, right now. “You are the result of yourself,” as Pablo Neruda once said. Here are some questions you might ask yourself:

o Am I part of this evil? o What have I done to cause this to happen? o How have I arranged it so I’m having this experience? o Have I done anything to bring this misfortune upon myself?o And what is about me or in me that has invited or attracted this into my life?

Remember: The only constant in life is YOU. You are the superintendent of your own soul. The architect of your own future. The artisan of your own happiness. The biographer of your own evolution. And the counselor of your own crisis. It’s always your fault. How do you stay true to yourself under increasingly difficult situations?

9. Get out of your familiar misery. Make it a point to (only) surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you. Life’s too short to waste on people who don’t set you on fire. For example, I have several close friends who can level me like a piece of farm machinery. With one word. Or one question. Or one dirty look.

The key is, they serve as a trigger – not the gun. They say what they need to say – then I’m disturbed into action to do the majority of the work.

My suggestion: Consider the three people in your life who currently serve in a bullshit-calling capacity. Email them. Thank them. Let them know how essential they are to your detection of the veneer that’s in place. Then, recommit yourself to remaining open to their proddings.

Sure, it hurts. But growth is the residue of discomfort. And until it causes excessive misery, the bullshit isn’t going to stop. What do you need to unsweep under the carpet?

10. Energy always follows priority. If you’re not doing it, it’s not important to you. Stop kidding yourself about what you “need to start making time for.” Look at your planner from last week. The activities you spent your time on were the things that were important to you. Period. No room for bullshit there. Calendars don’t lie.

Here’s the distinction: Priorities are the things you MAKE – not find – the time for. “Find” comes from the Old English term findan, which means, “To come upon, alight on.” Which implies a search. Which means it’s possible that you might (not) find the time. “Make,” one the other hand, comes from the Frisian term makia, which means, “To build.” As in: “build into your schedule.”

As in: “build your entire day around it.” Which implies a commitment. Which means it’s not possible that you won’t do it. I challenge you to call bullshit on yourself by reminding yourself of that fine line. How do you know what’s important to you?

11. Don’t refuse to look into yourself. Stop keeping secrets from yourself. Inspect what you expect. Know what charms you. And avoid overlooking the inconvenient. As Brad Blanton explained in one of my favorite books, Radical Honesty,

“Life goes on and the truth changes; this just happens to be the way life is. What was once true is often no longer true just a little while later. Yesterday’s truth is today’s bullshit. Even yesterday’s liberating insight is today’s jail of stale explanation.”

Remember: The mirror is your friend. It will never lie to you. Are you willing to listen to all of yourself?

12. Decide if the squeeze is worth the juice. One of the few things I learned in college was the concept of opportunity cost. The next forgone alternative. The point of diminishing returns. In short: Tradeoffs. What you give up to get something. So, next time you’re not sure if something is going to be worth it, consider (honestly) asking yourself these questions:

o What is this getting in the way of?o Is this an expectation I can reasonably meet? o Am I being fair to myself by continuing this relationship?o Is this person helping create a future that I’m going to feel obligated to be a part of?

The whole point is to induce self-squirming. Better now than five years later when your hand is so cramped from squeezing that you can’t even pick up the glass to enjoy the juice. Is this an opportunity or an opportunity to be used?

13. Don’t let your ego write checks your body can’t cash. Another mantra from my yoga instructor. Helpful in (and out) of the studio. Especially when it comes to time management. Like my friend Kim says in her book There’s An Adult in My Soup:

“Busyness isn’t a badge of honor – it’s the new four-letter word. The modern culture’s obsession with the ‘I’m so busy’ mantra turns into a crutch that enables people to avoid taking 100% responsibility for their lives.”

Lesson learned: Trying to impress yourself is an exhausting upstream paddle. Slow down. Otherwise your body is going to call bullshit on you before you get a chance. Will your body have sufficient funds in its account to cash the ridiculous check your ego is trying to write?

In conclusion, let’s turn east to Steven Mitchell’s Second Book of the Tao:

If you’re a teacher, writer, speaker, coach, consultant, thought leader (even a parent), admitting that you need to take your own advice – and then, actually TAKING that advice – can be about as enjoyable as getting kicked in the face with a golf shoe.

THE POINT IS: We teach what we most need to learn.

And sometimes it’s tough to be true to your own insight.

If you've ever suffered from The Cobbler’s Children Syndrome, today we’re going to explore a series of practices for HOW to take your own advice:

1. Self-questioning. This is the best place to start. As a writer, speaker and thought leader myself, I’ve found great success (honestly) asking reflective questions like this on a regular basis:

a. If I were me, what would I do in this situation?b. Does my life enshrine what my lips proclaim?c. What does it look like when somebody pulls a “me”? d. What key issue am I currently blinding myself from seeing?e. Is the message I’m preaching the dominant reality of my life? f. What outworn belief system is informing these bad decisions?g. How deep is the gap between my onstage performance and backstage reality?

My suggestion is to pick a few from the list – or make your own list – then write the questions on sticky notes. Then post them in your office. Or bathroom. Or car. Anything to keep them in front of your face as reminders to take your own advice. What questions do you ask yourself?

2. Self-reeducation. Revisit material you’ve published but haven’t read in a while. Perhaps the distance away from your own content will help you to view it more objectively. For example, I’ve reread modules I wrote years ago that pleasantly surprised me of their relevance today. Almost like a reminder of what I believe about an issue.

Of course, I’ve also read old material that made me want to gag myself with a flyswatter. Which was an excellent education in my own evolution. Are you willing to disagree with what the earlier version of yourself believed?

3. Self-reflection. Sometimes you’re too close to yourself to see clearly. What you need is a friend to reflect your thinking style back to you. Try this: Find someone you’ve given valuable advice to in the past. Sit her down. Explain your situation.

Then ask her what advice she would expect YOU to give HER if the roles were reversed. Who knows? She might know a certain part of you better than you do. Who can you have lunch with that will function as a mirror?

4. Self-assessment. Try this exercise. At the top of a blank sheet of paper, write the following question, “If everybody did exactly what I said, what would the world look like?” Then, brainstorm your answers in the form of bullet points.

Take your time. Think hard. After all, you ARE writing your Personal Philosophy. Ultimately, the goal is to use this document as a template for future actions. Just remember to ask: Is what I’m doing right now giving people the tools they need to build that world?

By doing so each morning, it’s almost like giving yourself a pep talk. Reminding yourself who the heck you are, how you roll and what’s important to you. When was the last time you took fifteen minutes out of your day to just think?

6. Self-awareness. Physically ask people, “What is the best piece of advice I ever gave you?” Their answers might surprise you. You might be smarter (or dumber) than you think. You might also ask people if you can see their notes.

Or they’d be willing to email you their best keepers from your presentation. All helpful for increasing self-awareness. How do other people experience you?

7. Self-research. Google your name in quotes along with the word “says” or “said.” I just did this search on myself for the first time. Pretty interesting. Saw a few quotes I liked, a few quotes I forgot, along with a few quotes I’m embarrassed to ever have said.

But that’s not the point. What will REALLY blow your hair back is when you go one step further: Take all the past advice you’ve published and ask yourself how well you’re executing that advice in your own life. You may be surprised. Are your walkings consistent with your talkings?

REMEMBER: Staying true to your own insight takes a tremendous amount of self-reflection.

I challenge you to use these practices to help take your own advice.

And maybe The Cobbler’s kids won’t have to walk barefoot after all.

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1. No meetings.2. No employees.3. No interns.4. No busywork.5. No filing.6. No copying.7. No excuses.8. No hurdles.9. No bullshit.10. No bureaucracy.11. No asking permission.12. No begging for forgiveness.13. No items to submit for approval.14. No extraneous layers of management to slow things down.15. No memos.16. No signatures.17. No status reports.18. No kids.19. No television.20. No surfing the web.21. No mass media.22. No coworkers.23. No putting out fires.24. No waiting for people.25. No gossip.26. No worrying.27. No headaches.28. No managing people.29. No managing logistical problems.30. No walking on eggshells.31. No task requests.32. No micromanaging.33. No useless planning of things that don’t matter.34. No processes to weigh me down and diminish my energy.35. No wasting time defending past decisions to preserve my ego.36. No time burned on making unnecessary effortful cognitive choices.37. No tinkering with broken processes.38. No endless list of people trying to reach me.39. No distractions.40. No bloated decision-making hierarchy.41. No distance between the owner and decisions that matter.42. No awkward staff lunches.43. No committees to go in front of.44. No socializing.45. No compromising.46. No doing activities that aren’t focused on my number one goals.47. No doing activities that don’t leverage my gifts.48. No doing activities that aren’t income generating.49. No office politics.50. No office.51. No clothes.52. No shoes.53. No commute.54. No traffic.55. No interruptions.56. No paperwork.

After deleting all of that noise, what are you left with?

Work. That matters.

If that were YOUR work environment, you’d be pretty productive too.

Now, I’m not trying to use my situation as a reason. Or use your situation as an excuse.

I met a guy like this last year. Spent the whole day with him. Dude drove me up the wall.

In fact, based on the body language of the other eleven group members, I think he drove them up the wall too.

Hell, we should’ve just had the meeting on the wall.

Anyway.

Instead of getting upset about this guy, I asked my standard question, “How can I channel my frustration towards this person into an actionable piece of writing that makes me money AND helps other people sidestep douchebaggery and make their lives better?”

What can I say? I’m a writer. Piss me off and I’ll get you back on the page where you can’t defend yourself.

Here we go. Names have been changed to protect the incompetent:

1. Be right less. Just stop. Seriously. Have some self-control. Even if you KNOW you’re right. Stop. Let someone else be right for a while. Not being right all the time doesn’t mean you’re wrong – it just means you practice restraint. Turn it into a game. See how long you can hold it in. Start with five minutes. I bet you can do it.

And I bet you’ll discover that the comment you intended to share was actually incorrect, irrelevant or non-contributory. Remember: Don’t break the silence unless you plan to improve it. Do you have an arrogance of being right that clouds your priorities?

2. Practice a 5:1 question/answer ratio. Talk as much as you want. But for every comment, statement or observation you make, ask five questions. This holds you accountable to an exploratory attitude of curiosity and vulnerability. Plus it opens up the discussion, toggles people’s brains and engages their thinking.

What’s more, 5:1 makes you sound smarter (in a roundabout way) simply because of your willingness to be dumb. Nobody ever left a group meeting saying, “Man, remember that guy who asked all those great questions? What an idiot. Sure annoyed the hell out of me!” Are you a great asker?

3. Allow ideas and experiences to profoundly penetrate you. Let the pearl sink. Register the moment. Allow the idea to slowly sink from your head down into your heart. Now, this practice of creative, patient listening is difficult for many people. It takes a tremendous amount of self-control.

Keep in mind: The quicker you understand something, the more likely it is to be a superficial understanding of that thing. Think of it this way: Instead of taking two hundred pictures of the Grand Canyon, why not just sit on the edge of it, take two hundred deep breaths and just experience it?

Remember: Pictures fade – memories of how you FELT last forever. Do you experience with your head or your heart?

4. Ask yourself WHY you’re listening. To receive people? To honor their truth? To create a loving space where others feel comfortable sharing? Or, are you listening to fix? To one-up? To insert your clever little jokes? To use other people’s comments as backboards against which you can try out your snappy new material, or to relive standup routines from fourteen years ago that probably weren’t funny in the first place?

5. Turn other people into Christmas trees. Notice who hasn’t contributed in a while. Then, when the time feels right, try this move: “Hey Tony? Didn’t your son have some experience with that last year? I’d be interested in hearing your experience…”

That’s what good leaders do: They make other feel essential. And sometimes all people need is permission. Well, that AND someone to shut up the one guy who monopolizes the whole bloody discussion. Whom could you put into the spotlight??

6. Stop going first. Your hand doesn’t have to shoot up like the teacher just asked the class, “OK, children: For a BIG piece of chocolate, who can answer this next question…?” Play the game called, Let’s See How Long I Can Go without Raising My Hand. Oftentimes, someone else will touch upon what you had originally planned to say, rendering your comment unnecessary.

Better yet, you might gain a completely new dimension to your idea that you wouldn’t have known otherwise, thus making your ultimate answer stronger. How much insight are you robbing the group of by being impatient?

7. Slaughter your yabbits. You know what a yabbit is, right? One of those little, white fluffy creatures that oozes out of people’s mouths when they unconsciously merge the words “yeah” and “but.” Kill them. Use their fur as a hat. Make them an endangered species.

Here’s why: “But” is the most dangerous work in the English language. It puts people on the defensive. It makes them think there’s a catch. It negates everything said before. And it reduces the positivity of an argument. Fortunately, I wrote a list of twenty-one yabbit alternatives. You can read them at www.WascallyYabbit.com.

Ultimately, phrases like these WIN because: They focus on solutions. They maintain positivity. They ASK instead of TELL. They foster creative thinking. And they encourage open dialogue. Study them today. Refer to them periodically. Use them often. Are you yabbiting?

8. Empathizing is highly overrated. In 2008, I met a guy named Cajun Dan. He’s a veteran grief counselor from Baton Rouge. After delivering a workshop to his association, I asked him to share (as a Professional Listener) what the biggest mistake was most people make in the listening process.

He said, “The three most dangerous words any listener could ever say is ‘One time I…’” Lesson learned: Stop empathizing. Stop circling back to remind people how vastly experienced you are at their reality. Everything doesn’t always have to come back to you.

Next time you’re in a group setting, try this: Instead of showing the speaker how deeply you feel his pain by interrupting his poignant story to share (yet another) selfish, inconsequential diatribe about the bowel movements of your three-legged Beagle, practice listening like a REAL leader – with your mouth closed. Good lord, man. Does this person need empathy or silence?

REMEMBER: In every group meeting, there’s always one putzbag.

Don’t let it be you.

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1. Actions are antidotes. Mainly, to the fears you think are real. Which aren’t. Because they’re fears. And fears are only as real as your fear of them. Like the schoolyard bully whose sole source of power is your fear of him, most fears melt into a puddle of goo when you stand up to them.

That’s the action part. And it’s contrary to FDR's philosophy that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I disagree. I think the only thing we have to fear is the fear OF fear itself. Nothing a few courageous steps of action can’t fix. If this action drains your energy and ability to change, what would cause the opposite?

2. Bodies are barometers. They speak the language of Truth. They tell you what your mouth is afraid to say, what your ears don’t want to hear and what your brain is too chickenshit to admit. Your mission is to listen louder. Much louder. And to treat everything you hear as legitimate, quantitative data.

Look: This isn’t like flying coach when you stick your ear buds in and tune out the safety demonstration you’ve heard a thousand times. This is your health. And your business will thank you for prioritizing it over everything else. What is your body saying about your pace?

3. Boundaries are saviors. If you don’t set boundaries for yourself, other people will set them for you. And then they will violate them. And then they will tell all their little friends that it’s OK to violate them. All because you failed to set a precedent of value by putting a stake in the ground.

Your challenge: This week, don’t let yourself back down from another boundary defining moment. Give yourself permission to say no to the good so you can make space for the best. What would it cost you NOT to stick up for your boundaries here?

4. Brands are accelerators. On the customer side, they accelerate the decision making process and the sales cycle. On your side, they accelerate profitability and company growth. But here’s what’s scary: For too long, too many businesspeople have barely skated by with ZERO branding.

And while it may have worked for a few decades, eventually, brandless businesses become broke businesses. You can’t afford not to have one anymore. Be branded or be stranded. How much longer can you go without having an identity?

5. Clients are teachers. Let them participate in your brand. They will teach you how to sell to them. They will teach you how to serve them better. They will teach you what products to release next. They will teach you where to take your business. They will teach you what you’re doing wrong.

All you have to do – and this are the two steps most companies miss – is ask them, then listen. Loudly. What kind of feedback loops are you generating so your customers and employees can have a genuine conversation?

6. Interruptions are derailments. An article in The New York Times recently reported that the average employee is interrupted every eleven minutes. If you do the math, that’s forty-three interruptions over the course of an eight hour day.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

No wonder productivity is in the toilet. Thank God I’m self-employed. What I’d be interested to know is how many of those interruptions were self-inflicted, and how many were legitimate time stoppers. Because you always have a choice. Remember: The best way to block a punch is to not be there. Is what you’re doing RIGHT NOW consistent with your #1 goal?

7. Maybes are lies. If you don’t say, “I will,” you won’t. If you don’t say, “I choose to,” you aren’t. That’s how powerful language is. My suggestion is to write the word “maybe” on a pad of sticky notes. Then draw a big fat “X” through each one. Then post them all around your office.

Soon enough, that word will be permanently deleted from your vocabulary. And that’s when your pattern of execution will begin to manifest. Your welcome. What are the components of your success vocabulary?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…What (not so) harsh reality are you avoiding?

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1. Put your money where your foot is. Mouths don’t do anything but eat and talk. And occasionally drool. Feet, on the other hand, are profit centers. No wonder so many successful entrepreneurs have corns and calluses: It’s all about mileage.

It’s all about asking the question, “What’s the next action?” Remember: Your feet are your balance sheet’s best friend. Better engage your pedometer. Profitability comes from steppability. What massive action did you take today?

2. Honesty shouldn’t HAVE to be a policy. If you have to remind your people to tell the truth, you need new people. On the other hand, if your leaders cleave to truth and practice radical, rigorous honesty, your people will follow suit.

Truthfulness speaks volumes, begets trustworthiness and accelerates followership. Policies are for amateurs. Have you introduced a steady stream of truth serum into your leadership diet?

3. A man is known by the company he keeps AWAY from. Show me who you refuse to hang with, and I’ll show you who you are. That’s perhaps more indicative of your character. On a deeper level, also think about the people you refuse to listen to. Same thing.

It’s all about whom you let participate in your life. Because it’s too damn short to surround yourself with people who don’t challenge and inspire you. How much time are you spending with people who haven’t learned how to value you yet?

4. If you can’t think of anything nice to say, you’re not very creative. Everybody hates somebody. Personally, I could name ten people – right now – that I would just LOVE to watch take a bath in hydrochloric acid. But as much as dislike them, I could still say something good about every one o them. It’s all about making the choice to attend differently to people.

You have to ask yourself questions like: How could this person positively affect me? What makes this person special? What is the hidden treasure inside this person that maybe others don’t see? What character qualities do I admire in this person? What potential, ability and wisdom do I see in this person? What has this person accomplished that needs to be celebrated? Remember: There’s always something nice to say. What do you see when you see people?

5. It is what it is. Wrong. It ISN’T what it is. “It” is what you’ve chosen it to be. “It” is what you’ve given yourself permission to accept. “It” is what you’ve allowed to exist into your life. “It” is what you’ve assumed you’re stuck with.

Screw “it.” I loathe the word “it.” The word “it” is a personal responsibility dodger. It you don’t like “it,” change “it.” Is it (really) what it is?

6. Shtick gets your foot in the door, but only substance keeps you in the room. Shtick is necessary, but it’s not enough to sustain you. Customers demand substance. Meat. Value. Sustainability. They want a sweet candy shell AND gooey, delicious Tootsie center.

Sadly, too many entrepreneurs are all shtick and no substance. Like Dum-Dum pops: All sugar, no payoff. The secret is being remarkable (and) relevant, worthwhile, marketable and brand-consistent. Otherwise the milk from your Purple Cow will taste sour. What substance will keep you in the room?

7. Only the WRONG survive. Be incorrect more. Encourage aggressive mistakes. Go screw something up – then go learn from it. After all: The wronger you are, the stronger you become. But only if your wrongness of action is punctuated with rightness of reflection.

Remember: Mistakes are springboards. Mistakes build instincts. Mistakes precede truth. Mistakes reframe creativity. Mistakes reveal individuality. What do you have to learn from this mistake to make it no longer a mistake?

8. Opposites attract, but that doesn’t mean they endure. Especially if there’s no commonality of constitution. No foundational harmony. No overlapping value systems. Because as much as we’d like to think life is like a Beatles song, love isn’t enough.

Love isn’t all you need. Not if you seek sustainability, that is. What are your 2010 relationship goals?

9. The best way to bring home the bacon is to raise your own pigs. That way, you’re the only shot caller. No permission. No committees. No compliance. No decision-making hierarchy. Just you. Wow. Can you imagine how much time, money, effort, energy and stress you could conserve by in-housing your next project?

Ask yourself: What if you bought your own equipment and made it yourself? What if you built everything proprietary and created your OWN studio? What if you never had to hire anyone ever again because you learned how to do it yourself? Just a thought.

After all: Having done it yourself makes you a more educated entrepreneur. Plus execution occurs faster. Maybe being a pig farmer isn’t as bad as it sounds. Maybe Thoreau was right when he said, “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” How much (more) money could you be earning working solo?

10. Your ship never comes in – only your dock gets bigger. Stop waiting for things to happen to you and start happening to things. Practice purposeful impatience and start taking action toward what you desire. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for perfection. And certainly don’t wait until you know what the hell you’re doing.

Just go. It’s only a matter of time before the captain says, “Welcome aboard!” Of course, none of this happens without an eagerly desirous, raring-to-go, restless expectation and dislike of anything that causes delay. That’s the construct of an impatient person.

Or present an idea. Or share a story. Or tell a joke. Or voice their opinion.

And it was so good, so interesting, so engaging and so entertaining, that your immediate response was to whisper to the guy sitting next to you, “Man, I’d hate to have to follow THAT…”

Have you ever wondered HOW people do that? How they command the energy of the room with grace and gusto?

Me too. Today we’re going to talk about how to be a hard act to follow:

1. Be a consummate provocateur. Your job isn’t to educate or entertain people – it’s to disturb them. The word “emotion” derives from the Latin emotere, which means, “to disturb.” So, it’s not bad, it’s not good – it’s just a disturbance. A breaking of patterns. A shaking up of things. Making your words piercing and disquieting.

So much so that people squirm in their seats. Sure, it might be uncomfortable for a minute, but that’s part of the adventure. The reality is, some people NEED to have a little disturbance “breathed into them.” Focus on evoking emotion instead of creating sensation, and you will win. How provocative are your words?

2. Don’t “use humor” – just be funny. It’s not a tool or a thing or a trick or a technique or shtick. It’s a way and a style. You don’t use humor like you use hair gel. Humor is something you embody. You don’t “do” humor – you ARE humor.

That’s why people laugh. Your inherent funniness activates, animates and aggregates the humorous part of their being. And if you don’t think you’re funny, you’re wrong. Everybody is funny. Don’t fall victim to that trap of laziness. You don’t need ventriloquize other people’s humor and pawn it off as your own original material.

As I learned in the book Throwing the Elephant, “You don’t have to be particularly funny. The attempt to provide amusement is more important that the quality or validity of the amusement itself.” Are you trying to use humor or allowing your natural funniness to shine?

And if you want to be a hard act to follow, your goal is to speak in a manner that’s so natural, so conversational and so unique to you that people don’t even know you’re doing it. You might try a few of the exercises in this module called How to Brand Your Language. Remember: It’s method acting, and the character you’re playing is yourself. When will the Academy award your performance?

Proving is talking smack; expressing is doing acts. Proving is playing to the crowd; expressing playing for the sake of playing. Ultimately, the big difference between the two is that proving is DOING and expressing is BEING. Period. Which one do you practice?

5. Give your audience something useful. Not recycled wisdom. Not a steady stream of self-glorifying garbage. And not a collection of quotations and words of wisdom from old dead white guys. Speak with MCI, or, Meaningful Concrete Immediacy. First, speak to self-interest. Ask yourself: Whom this audience needs to look good for? Ask yourself: What are these people’s success seeds? Ask yourself: What is the key to these people’s hearts?

Second, be concise. Get to the point quicker. Learn to speak in soundbites. Human attention span resets after six seconds. And finally, and be actionable. Show people HOW. Deliver ideas that can be put to use the minute you’re finished talking. Are you all keepers and no fluff?

6. Fire goes a long way. Most people spend all their time, money and effort memorizing the message when they should be mastering the medium. Look. I don’t care if you’re discussing colon hydrotherapy best practices. If you speak with enthusiasm, passion, articulation, wisdom – in other words, FIRE – and people will listen. Guaranteed.

They’ll be so engaged that they’ll forget they’re even listening to you. All because you gave your audience permission to be taken over by your performance. Remember: The medium IS the message. How well do you embody energetic availability?

7. Help people get lost. July 19, 2009. Phoenix. It was a keynote speech that changed my life. Scott Halford, author of Be a Shortcut, told an audience of 1,300 professional speakers, “I don’t use GPS because I can’t imagine living in a world where you can’t get lost.”

Lesson learned: Don’t be afraid to send people on mental journeys. Drop some fertilizer on the audience and let them challenge and inspire themselves. They’ll get lost in the best way possible. They’ll trudge down the trail for themselves. And when they come back, caked in sweat and dirt, they’ll be glad they don’t have to follow your act. Are you willing to rip up the map?

8. Hit the ground running. Whether you’re telling a story, giving a speech or conducting a meeting, be mindful of the VERY FIRST sentence out of your mouth.. Take George Carlin, for example. He became well known for delivering opening lines that received standing ovations. My personal favorite was, “I’d like to begin tonight by saying, ‘Screw Lance Armstrong!’ Aren’t you tired of being told who your heroes are?”

Lesson learned: Don’t waste people’s time. Leave out the parts people skip. Just go. Are your first words unexpected and interesting enough to make people look up from their Crackberries?

REMEMBER: It’s hard to be a hard act to follow.

I challenge you to plug yourself, your meetings, your stories, your pitches and your presentations into these eight equations.

In conclusion, I’m reminded of the wise words of the great philosopher, Mitch Hedberg, who once said, “I’m a hard act to follow because when I’m done, I take the microphone with me.”

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So much so, that we almost need to reintroduce ourselves to ourselves.

Here are five ways for doing so:

1. Develop an orientation toward self-confrontation. I never placed much value on self-confrontation until I started doing yoga. Talk about instant reeducation. I quickly discovered that when you’re faced squarely with your half naked body in a full-length mirror in the company of forty half-naked, sweaty strangers for ninety minutes straight, you have no choice but to confront your truth.

Literally. No metaphor needed. There’s no better way to remember who you are. Or how badly you need a shower. And, it’s amazing what you learn about yourself in this kind of arena. What’s more, once the bug of self-confrontation bites you, you begin to crave it in other areas of your life.

And that’s when the REAL learning begins. Because you notice patterns about yourself. Some disturbing, some refreshing. I hope you, too, will find a regular venue of honesty and reflection that suits your style. When was the last time you honestly confronted yourself?

2. Establish an expectation-free support structure. My friend Dixie once told me, “Who other people want you to be is the most destructive wrapping paper of all. In fact, it's mummy wrap disguised as wrapping paper. And once we believe in THEIR version of ourselves, we’re merely ghosts of our real selves.”

The secret, Dixie says, is to surround yourself with people who celebrate whoever you are – right now. Perhaps it’s worth sitting down and mapping out the five people that are currently occupying most of your time. Then, honestly asking four questions:

*Am I being fair to myself by continuing this relationship?*Does this person enrich my life in any way?*Is this person helping me create a future that I’m going to feel obligated to be a part of?*Is this an opportunity, or an opportunity to be used?”

That should help filter out the type of people whose expectations are causing you stomach cramps. Once they’re gone, you can fully and freely focus on investing your time and energy in expectation-free relationships.

Remember: Few things are more painful than putting yourself in situations where you regret allowing people to participate in your life. What would it cost you NOT to stand up for your boundaries here?

3. Customize a system for exposing your blind spots. The term “blind spot” isn’t just an idiom or catchy pop song lyric. It originates from the Greek word scotoma, or darkness. And, at the risk of getting WAY too anatomical, check this out. Optometric literature reports that your blind spot is the place in the visual field in which there are no cells to detect light on the optic disc. This is what prevents a certain part of the field of vision from being perceived.

Interesting. Sounds like your challenge is fourfold. First, accept the existence of your shadow. You have one, and you need to shake hands with it.

Second, surround yourself with people whose thinking is perpendicular to your own. By virtue of intellectual diversity, their provocations will sneak into the dark corners of your truth and expose your unperceivables.

Third, give these people permission to look out the rear window of your life and tell you whether or not that 18-wheeler is merging into your lane.

Finally, listen. Listen loudly. Take notes if you have to. Then, thank these people for exposing your blind spots and reminding you who you are. Not even the best Lasik surgery in the world can see that stuff. Remember: Sometimes we’re too close TO ourselves to see the truth ABOUT ourselves. How are you shedding light on YOUR blind spots?

4. Hit the page patiently. If you start (and KEEP) writing – for at least fifteen minutes, every single day – it’s amazing what shows up. Ideas you can’t believe you had. Thoughts you’re amazed came from your brain. Insights about yourself that knock your own socks off.

The tricky part is, you can’t force it. You have to patiently wait for insight to emerge. That’s why fifteen minutes is the absolute minimum. That’s (usually) how long it takes from the moment you turn on the faucet to the moment the water is warm enough to tolerate.

Almost like spending two hours at driving range, hitting shanks all morning, then suddenly crushing a frozen rope three hundred yards down the fairway right as that cute girl walks by. That’s the way creativity works: You have to clear away the crap before you bring forth the bounty. How much money is being impatient costing you?

5. Humor is the gateway to truth. In his 2010 postmortem autobiography, Last Words, George Carlin wrote, “No one is ever more herself than when she really laughs. When you make someone laugh, you’re guiding her whole being for the moment.”

If you want to remember who you are, never forget what makes you laugh. Ever. Even if you find humor in unexpected moments that most people would deem unfunny, inappropriate or perverse. Like that time I saw a three hundred pound woman at Kroger whose wheelchair was so heavily weighed down with groceries, she actually had to start putting food BACK on the shelf just to get the wheels turning again.

Whatever. That’s funny. I say: Laugh anyway. Laugh so hard you pee, cry and puke at the same time. Laugh so loud the people five rows behind you look over to see if your oxygen mask was accidentally filled with Nitrous.

Here’s the reality: Denying laughter is denying truth. Telling someone she can’t laugh is like tell someone she can’t be herself. And if there’s one thing you should never, ever have to apologize for, it’s that which makes you crack up. How many comedy albums do you own?

REMEMBER: We all need help remembering who we are.

I challenge you to shake hands with yourself this week.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…How will you remind yourself who you are?

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