Chivalry is not dead.
Despite being equals, most women still appreciate men who hold the door, pull out the chair, and treat them with respect. If your guy doesn’t know how to treat you as an equal and still be a gentleman in the truest sense of the word, ask him to open the door for you. You might just get what you want.

Sex starts long before bed.
A hug by the sink, a kiss on the neck on the way to work, holding hands at the movies, and other affectionate touching can get a woman more in the mood. Even helping around the house gives a woman downtime. A guy needs help understanding this can be foreplay!

A woman wants to feel desired and desirable.
Your guy may have seen you naked a thousand times before, but each time is a privilege and an opportunity. Help him use this gift to show you that you still turn him on. If you feel shy, go slowly and ask for or show him what you need.

A slow hand is a turn-on.
An occasional firecracker quickie is fine, but most women like a slow buildup to a big bonfire. If your guy is a slam bam thank you ma’am type, don’t get angry. He may be doing what comes naturally. Gently show him what you need and want. (Leave my book by his side of the bed and have a book marker at Chapter 5, Between the Sheets. It even has pictures).

Women want a man to learn what they like, not just what he thinks you like.
He’s got to ask, touch, learn, and practice. This may take patience on your part. but if you get what you need, it maybe well worth the wait.

Pillow talk is sexy.
Few things turn a woman on more than hearing her lover open up about something intimate. A little conversation afterward is comforting, too. Rolling over and going right to sleep is almost always a bummer. Many guys don’t know this and need help along the way.

Clean is sexy!
If your lover works in the oil fields all day, please remind him to take a shower before bed. Think he’s going to rebel? Though this may be challenging, try to be loving enough to help him be loving too.

A bonus tip: A woman’s work may never be done.
By the time we are “grown-up,” we know we are the more complicated and complex sex. Ask yourself: Is it more important to be right than to get what you need and want? if the latter is true,even though it takes effort, then you may choose to educate your guy.

add your responses

This is a marvelous list, DrDorree. You make great points about the sexual buildup, which includes all the points you mention. I especially love #3, which Robert did so well. He made me feel that I was a great beauty whom he had the honor to see naked — and he did this every time, for the seven years we were together. He was an artist and therefore intensely visual, and he really felt that way each time I shed my clothes. What a gift to me!

Re #7, I agree, but I don’t think a man needs to work in an oil field to need a shower at the end of the day!

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