Confirmed: Small Dogs Are The Worst

Is there any worse pet than a small, yapping dog? No, and that fact has now been confirmed—with numbers.

There were a record number of dog bites in the city last year — with pint-sized Chihuahuas and Shih Tzus surprisingly among the top five culprits, The Post has learned.

Sure, the top two bitiest dogs were pit bulls and Rottweilers. But we expect such things from them. It is, one could say, their calling. But ratlike dogs-in-name-only like Chihuahuas or Shih Tzus (or as I call them, "Shit, I'm getting sued, because my ugly tiny dog just bit someone." Haha, I know, it's funny)? Their calling is only to sit in handbags. Which, by the way, is why they bite so many people in the city: because you take your god damn rat dog everywhere, and sooner or later it reaches out an nips a passerby, who only refrains from throwing your dog over the horizon out of the goodness of his or her bleeding heart.