If you’re reading this, the world didn’t end

There is something akin to an April Fools Day feeling about the first warm-weather long weekend of the year – the May Victoria Day weekend.

Let’s see, just before the holiday weekend started, prime minister Harper unleashed a firestorm of coast-to-coast criticism for his unprecedented action in appointing three defeated Conservative candidates in the recent election (two of them former Senators, who resigned to run) to the sinecure of the Senate.

He shrugs off the criticism. Spokesmen note the three will return the Conservative majority in the Senate and will allow Mr. Harper to do something about reform there.

I’m not holding my breath – and neither are the plethora of wealthy senators at the Upper Chamber trough.

At least one moose in Newfoundland expressed his displeasure by stepping in front of Fabian Manning’s car, wrecking it and sending him to hospital for treatment under his not-yet-expired Senatorial medical plan from his first appointment to the Senate.

Back to the weekend: there hasn’t been as much excitement at Portage and Main since the last time an NHL team was declared headed to Winnipeg for next season. Already there are many suggestions for a new name – the Manitoba Mosquitoes may be semi-popular following the current flooding conditions.

On Friday Mr. Harper pays a quick visit to the burned-out city of Slave Lake. He succeeded in not remarking on how similar the place must look to devastated Liberal Party headquarters showing that at least his majority may have curbed his mean streak.

Unfortunately most of the people affected by this disaster were “sequestered” in shelters in Athabasca when air transportation was available for Mr. Harper’s “photo-op.”

The thousands of evacuated residents may not be able to return for weeks. Maybe Mr. Harper could have looked at photos of Slave Lake and visited the people instead. No point in dwelling on this – it is a no-win all round!

What’s the difference between an opinion survey and a “sweeping new study?” The latter takes place at Carleton University in Ottawa.

A study of 23,000 female university students say they expect about 13 per cent less pay than men when they start their careers – and five years in they believe the difference will have stretched to about 17.5 per cent.

It doesn’t say much for optimism and future improvement for equality for women. Still, it’s not the Middle East…!

None of it will matter if, as predicted, the world ended on Saturday, as suggested by evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping in (where else?) California. His followers have posted giant billboards warning that Saturday would be (at least) the beginning of the end.

Presumably the billboard companies required payment up front. Few people paid much attention to the predicted snatching of all true Christians and their subsequent rapturous transportation to heaven.

If this happens, how is this doomsday for all true Christians?

Of course if this doesn’t appear in the paper on Wednesday because Saturday was the end of the world, I’ll likely be a bit ticked off! If it didn’t happen we can start the countdown to December 21, 2012 – isn’t that the Mayan calendar prediction they made the movie about?

One more prediction I could likely do without…when are they really going to launch the “last-ever” US Space Agency shuttle mission? There seems to be as many of them as there are Rolling Stones’ final tours – Atlantic will soar on July 8.