18th.

Passed the day at the office; Townsend and Thompson were there in the evening.

The question, what am I to do in this world recurs to me, very frequently; and never
without causing great anxiety, and a depression of spirits: my prospects appear darker
to me, every day, and I am obliged sometimes to drive the subject from my mind, and
to assume some more agreeable train of thoughts. I do not wish to look into futurity;
and were the leaves of fate to be { 331 } opened before me, I should shrink from the perusal. Fortune, I do not covet. Honours,
I begin to think are not worth seeking, and as for “the bubble reputation,” though
deck'd with all the splendors of the rainbow, yet those very splendors are deceitful,
and it seldom fails to burst, from the weight of the drop which it contains.