Cel Damage

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It's just like a cartoon -- one where you're stuck playing the coyote.

By Vincent Lopez

While lens flare was one of the designer flavors of a few years back, it certainly never spawned an entire genre of games... but cel shading, that's another story. Jet Grind Radio didn't just get kids breakdancing in their living rooms again (and thank god for that), but it had Sega changing games like Sonic Shuffle over to the new look, and even bigwigs like Nintendo following suit with one of their most popular franchises, Zelda. Now EA has taken the look to the limit by designing an entire game around the look, and even plopping the effect into the title. How's that for gratitude?

Cel Damage isn't exactly a cel shading demo, though it's one of the best examples of the effect on the market. It's the kiddie version of Quake and Twisted Metal Black combined, a vehicle combat game that emphasized quick "smacks" of your opponents, and tons of frenetic driving. You're not exactly racing, but you're not running around with a shotgun, either. The game's built more like a zany pop confection, meant to leave a sugary taste in your mouth as you watch your car's hood sport boxing gloves and smack opponents, as you and your vehicle swing from vines, and as you bounce off of giant webs over cartoony graveyards. It's also hard as hell, and built to make you cry. For all the cool exterior of the game, the guts are mean, brittle stuff.

Gameplay The game plays fast as lightning thanks to easy controls and beautiful 60fps animation that's as smooth as butter. One trigger hits your gas, the other your brakes, and you've got an attack button and a hand brake button for quick turns. Ignore the brake -- you'll be relying on that hand brake for all your spin moves, and you'll be slamming that attack button into oblivion to keep yourself in the lead.

The game is built so that it's not just about kills, er, "smacks." It's about points... first one to 500 points wins the Smack Attack mode, and points are racked up in different numbers depending on the weapon you use. The Boxing Gloves, for instance, don't give you a ton of smacks per punch... but you can nail an opponent with a flurry and get a bundle in a matter of seconds. The harpoon is slow, but you'll get a good score for each car kebab, not to mention the joy of watching them fly across the screen. The cartoony holes (think mines) rarely get you points, and in fact you'll be the one to fall in them more often then not, but you'll get some great scores when your foes happen to accidentally drive across the black pits of infinite doom. Other weapons highlights include a bulldozer scoop that allows you to barrel through competition, a pesky set of ship cannons that can wallop opponents, but only from the side, and an ice beam that will get you very, very angry when you're turned into a giant cube by a competitor.

Unfortunately, playing a game of Cel Damage versus the computer is like jumping into an NBA game when you're used to playing in your backyard -- tough stuff. It's not just the AI however... it's the entire structure of the game. The levels are tiny, meaning that there's little room for strategy. You'll try to play it smart, but in the end you'll play the game the same as your competition -- grabbing a weapon, and pressing attack as fast as humanly possible in the hopes that you might, maybe, kinda might get some smack points. Trying to implement your instinct-driven Quake strategies will get you nowhere in this game... nor will using your Twisted Metal car-combat know how. It's hard to even gauge a difficulty level, since winning or losing seems like such a random affair. You're able to pick your modes as you wish, playing a Flag Rally competition, then finishing up a Smack Attack level on Translyvania... but you'll find yourself just as stuck on your first level as you will 3/4 through the game. It's frustration incarnate, especially when you've been playing for hours and hours, and find yourself landing 5th place as often as 1st... just as you were during your first 10 minutes with the game.

Certain modes fare worse than others in this regard -- sticking to weapons like the boxing gloves can help you win a Smack Attack competition, or at least give you a better shot, but trying to win a Flag Rally in any form is a head-banging affair. Do you like your coffee table? Move it away from you when trying to unlock even the first level of anything in this mode. Trying to get four flags and get them back to a flag point without gettting killed is like trying to get a python to just "cut down on the venom a bit." It just isn't going to happen.

The only hope for you to win is to bring along friends to lessen the odds of the computer beating you at a match... but at that point, you're pretty much playing the game as a permanent co-op mode, you versus the AI. If there was a ramping level of difficulty, if the levels were larger and allowed for more strategy, if the camera didn't keep you from catching your opponents in the act, maybe the fast action would allow for more depth, but at this point, no such luck.

Graphics Cel shading may have burned some gamers because of its excessive use, but when it's in a game based on a cartoon world, it's a perfect match. The smooth, dense, cool animations of the cars and characters only makes the experience more enthralling, particularly when you're watching hands come off a car hood to smash an opponent with a hammer. Cars stretch as they make sharp turns, a chainsaw literally slices a car in half, vehicles crackle, shatter, get skewered on harpoons and flit around, flattened like paper -- and it's all perfectly animated. You could watch a pair of boxing gloves smack a bulldozer for hours.

The levels are also just as dynamic, filled with breakable objects and animated features. Volcanoes erupt, crocodiles snap at your tires, flames erupt from molten floors, and gravestones shatter under your tires. It's all as smooth and funky as the cars, making the whole visual experience a seamless one.

In terms of level layout however, the designers have opted to make the levels mostly open, small arena, with little in the way of hiding spots or secret sections. It helps to make the action brisk, but it's also the downfall of the game design in that it never allows for sharpshooting or game strategies beyond simply attacking as fast as possible and hoping for a win. The camera works well... until you have to turn, which you'll do often. Because of the small level structure you'll spend most of your time spinning around to turn back towards an opponent, but the camera's just slow enough that, more often than not, you'll be the one getting skewered just as you're trying to get a shot.

Sound Cartoon squeaky voices and squeals aren't for everyone, but if you've played a share of cartoon games, you'll find that Cel Damage's characters are fresher than most. Since the humor is more teen than kiddie, the characters are a little more devious and twisted than they look grinning at you off the box. Sinder, the little devil, has a weird innocent glee about his plot in life that will have you giggling when you're not dying, and nerds like Flemming deliver obvious but enjoyable humor. The art style matches the personality, and overall you'll be shocked at how un-annoying these grinning fools can be on a minute by minute basis. Music's kept pretty much in the background during standard gameplay, but the tunes that are audible are solid, but unremarkable stuff. The sound effects of the weapons deliver in spades, however, particularly the boxing gloves and the harpoon that deliver the twitch, pop sounds that you hope for when you're getting the smacks in on a particularly pesky competitor.

The Verdict

Cel Damage is a cotton candy game filled with lead -- you'll expect an easy, party affair and instead you'll get broken teeth from the ruthless AI and the tough structure of the game. You'll quickly realize that if you're planning on unlocking anything in the game, you'll have to bring your friends along (preferably four), and even then you'll work the prints off your fingers trying to get ahead long enough to win a match. If there was a sliding scale, or even a sense of attachment to what or what does not get a win in the game this wouldn't be such a sticking point, but when the line between winning and losing seems to come down to flipping the coin of luck, the whole affair seems pointless.

Overall, Cel Damage tries to create a simpler version of the car combat/shooter game, but make more problems than both of those genres, combined. It's sad, especially because kids are the ones to reach for this game first, and will be the first to set it down in frustration.

7PresentationFunny and cool opening movie, but bare bones when it comes to customizing features or difficulty settings.

8.5GraphicsLike cartoons come to life. Stretching, twisting vehicles that sprout arms and swing chainsaws, all done in 60fps. Levels are smaller then they should be, however.

8.5SoundVoices? Not annoying, and pretty funny. Sound effects? Perfect and full of punch. Music? More background thumping than anything else.

5GameplayFrustration, party of one. The difficulty level is set permanently to viciously hard, and the structure leaves little room for learning, or general fun.

7Lasting AppealThere's a good selection of levels, but unlike Twisted Metal Black, the small size makes them seem more similar than they should. Though there are three modes, they share the same set of levels.