Thursday, April 26, 2012

Because I know you can't get enough of these. Same rule applies (see Part 1).

42. While on a date, talk about something the girl likes. While doing so, do something simple, yet mundane, like playing with the pepper shaker. Later, when you want to suggest something you may be having confidence suggesting, play with the same pepper shaker. The suggestion will link back to the thing she likes and she'll normally agree.

43. ECA. Ephedrine, caffeine, aspirin. 20 mg, 200 mg, 81 mg respectively. Best way to burn fat and curb appetite. Take this twice daily and do sit ups and you will lose weight.

44. Always treat secretaries respectfully and go out of your way to help them--NEVER NEVER NEVER antagonize a secretary. Secretaries and admin assistants are the gatekeepers for resources and people that you will need to have help you--they also have very strong relationships with those in positions of authority and also serve as informers to decision makers. If they say you're good, or that you've always been great to work with, that will factor in on you.

45. When filling out important paperwork, scan it in to Adobe Acrobat and use the typewriter tool to fill it out if you have bad handwriting. Save the document. Now you have two things: a copy in case you lose the paperwork or there is a dispute and a very professionally filled form that can increase perceptions of you and reduce the chance of mistakes when important data is entered.

46. If you have more than 10,000 USD in your bank, start putting money in certificates of deposit that are very safe and boring. The sooner you start compounding interest, the more and more powerful it becomes. I will not give more complicated investment advice, but the simple advice is CDs will pay you and play with debt financing before advancing to equity.

47. You can throw clothes in the dryer for about 5 minutes to get wrinkles out.

48. Put smelly shoes in a plastic bag and put it in the freezer overnight. The smell is caused by bacteria, which will die when deep frozen.

49. Use lighter fluid to remove sticky stuff from price labels, etc.

50. A couple of grains of rice in a salt shaker will absorb moisture and keep the salt from turning into a miniature brick.

51. Sharpen scissors by using them a few times on a piece of sand paper.

52. If there's something you really need to remember the next day, put a weird object in a weird place. It helps you to remember anything by triggering your memory.

53. If you have to make dookies in a public restroom, you should first drop a big handful of toilet paper into the toilet to provide your turds with a landing zone cushion. This way, the nasty public poop won't splash back on (or in) your butthole.

54. Smiling suppresses the gag reflex.

55. To hasten the onset of night vision, close your eyes for about 20 seconds.

56. Don't admit you're a virgin if you're angling for sex. Most (sensible) people will avoid sex with virgins because they worry about them getting clingy.

57. Camwhores: take a screenshot of your image after opening a picture viewer and put it in MS Paint or whatever program you use instead of directly uploading it. This way, no creepy faggots can do shit like use your EXIF data to find your location or other personal information.

58. When throwing a punch, only close your fist at the very last second. You lose a lot of power and balance if you throw all the way with a clenched fist.

59. If you're at college/uni do yourself a favor and google "anki and spaced repetition."

60. When painting with a roller, spread the paint out in a "W" or "M" shape, then fill in the rest of the space. Your coverage will be much better this way. When painting a room, you'll eventually reach the bottom of the first gallon. Before getting all the way to the bottom, open up the next gallon and mix half of it with the first. The color will be more even this way.

61. If you have rat/mice problem, just cut the bottom of pop cans down so you have roughly one and a half inch deep aluminum cup. Fill it with antifreeze. The pests will be attracted to it due to its sweet flavor (DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE A CAT OR DOG).

62. When at a bar, try to order drinks from a drunk and/or busy bartender. Chances are they'll forget to charge you. Even if they do, you can easily ditch a tab if they didn't get your card.

63. Write in emails to any major company you can think of, the best ones are food companies like Kraft, Doritos, Pepsi, etc. Any food company you can think of. In the email say that you always buy their products but recently you bought one and it was terrible/broken/damaged/missing product. Nine out of ten times they will send you a coupon for some sort of free product. Just go to each company's website to get their customer relations email address. Most companies actually have a "Questions/Comments?" email address. Take an hour to send out about 20 of these emails to different companies and the free crap will start ROLLING in.

64. Save 10% of your earnings every payday. Hammer into your mind one simple rule: 10% of all I earn is mine to keep. If you can save more than 10% fine but 10% is the minimum.

65. Make a budget and stick to it. You should have your expenses planned out for each month. Look at ways of saving here such as home cooked meals or changing utility companies, always shop around for the best deal. Give yourself money to spend for fun but don't go beyond that.

66. Once you've got years worth of savings, invest in something. Stocks are okay, but a business or property is even better. Every rich person gets there through investment. Bill Gates isn't rich because of the money he earned through Microsoft; he's rich because he owned Microsoft and the company increased in value. His investment in his company made him rich.

67. Try bargaining with everyone. Sometimes you get a cheaper price just by asking.

68. Learn how to cook. Get a cook book. The Internet is your friend and pretty much the biggest cookbook you can get.

69. Duct tape holds the world together.

70. If you want a girl really bad, ask her in such a way that she can't say no, like in front of a lot of people or maybe even her parents. She'll see that you have an insane amount of balls, and her parents will also appreciate it.

71. Buy Japanese cars, they're less likely to break down. Hondas and Toyotas can go for about 300K to 400K miles before they bite the dust. That's almost 15 to 20 years of extensive driving.

72. Brunettes are usually bitchier than blondes, and blondes are easier going and easier to get along with. Just something I've noticed.

73. Get a capture card and just watch TV on your PC instead of having one big machine for watching TV and one for doing computer stuff.

74. Apple makes better notebooks than anyone. Use bootcamp to put Windows on it if you need.

75. Schedule every part of your day in Google Calendar and then sync it to your phone. Your phone will beep whenever you're supposed to do something. You'll get more shit done that way.

76. Don't buy N64 games used, ever. Get a USB controller or use your PS3 controller and download the rom for N64.

77. Have an emergency food kit in your car or home as well as a few jugs of water, just in case.

78. Relationship advice: The secret is keeping them interested. I've seen guys talk to a girl after meeting them for the first time, and they go on spewing out everything from their childhood to their political opinion. Keep yourself veiled a little, take it easy and don't rush to answer everything. Make it a game and keep her interested. If she asks what you do for a living, don't rush to answer, clever guy. Conversations like that don't interest a girl. They're just like you. It's very easy. They're begging for a guy man enough to fuck them. Instead of answering, just slowly, easily, laugh. Just laugh, practice your laugh in private, make it easy and charismatic, carefree and confident. Say something clever. Tell her she wouldn't want to know what you do for a living, and besides a job doesn't define me as a person. Another mystery, keep pulling her toward you mentally and slowly wrap your tentacles around her mind and heart.

79. For this example we will use a Nintendo DS, but it will also work with most gaming hardware. Buy the shittiest NDS you can find, second hand, pawn shop, whatever. Then go buy a new one. Remove the serial strip from the bottom of the new NDS (preferably razored off and reattached with glue) and apply it to the old one, put the old one in the box and return it.

80. If you are REALLY careful, you razor a new game out of the shrink wrap. As long as it looks like it's still in the original shrink when you return it, they will accept a used game. Great for pirates if for some reason you can't just torrent.

81. Put 1 dollar aside for lottery tickets every month. Even though it's a slim chance, you're always keeping your cards open to become a millionaire. Don't overdo it. Just do 1 dollar a month.

82. Some bills you have to pay a fee for printing the bill in paper. Just have them send you paperless bills to your email address.

83. Cook stuff for the week to come so you don't spend as muchnall time cooking throughout the week. Then freeze it into portions that you can eat later.

84. Instead of eating a lot of sweets, try to keep to just granola, raisins, or chocolate. Get an AeroGarden and grow your own lettuce or tomatoes or strawberries.

85. Ask people to help you do shit--basically, make your own personal army. Five people doing something that helps you is better than only doing something yourself.