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Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Best Baseball Nicknames of All-Time

There’s nothing better than a good nickname. Unless you’re
blessed with an accommodating legal name (Shout out to all you Smittys and
Sullys of the world!), you have to either do something very special or very
embarrassing to earn a good moniker. One realm that has traditionally been a
breeding ground for good nicknames is professional baseball. Its landscape is
littered by men who ceased to go by the names their mothers gave them because
they became well known as something else.

Baseball nicknames have gradually declined in terms of
quality and quantity. They mostly currently range from the bland (Miggy) to the
uninspired (ARod). However, there are many that should go down in history quite
literally for their cleverness and uniqueness. Here are some of my favorites:

Dennis “Oil
Can” Boyd: A native of Mississippi, where cans of beer are called oil cans,
the right-handed pitcher had an old-time nickname that hearkened to a different
time. Ironically, his flamboyant style and gritty pitching during his 10-year
career (1982-1991) also made him seem like a holdover from a previous era.

Mordecai
“Three Finger” Brown: Not the most sensitive choice, the Hall-of-Fame pitcher
got his nickname after losing two fingers in a childhood farming accident.
Instead of it being an impediment, it assisted him in his pitching, to the tune
of 239 wins and a 2.06 ERA in 14 seasons.

Bob “Death
to Flying Things” Ferguson: The 19th-century outfielder was known as a
temperamental but solid player during his 14 year career. He was also a
prolific defender, who gained a reputation of being a real stopper with his
glove, which in his time would have been little more than a leather covering
for his hand.

Nick “Tomato
Face” Cullop: The beefy outfielder hit .249 in parts of five major league
seasons from 1926-1931, unable to match the success he had in the minors (.311
batting average and 398 home runs in 22 years). Through no fault of his own,
the slugger got his nickname not because of his looks but because his face
would turn deep crimson whenever he was angry or embarrassed.

Marc
“Scrabble” Rzepcyzynski: The left-handed pitcher is still active and the owner
of a 9-20 record with a 3.77 ERA in parts of six major league seasons. Little
explanation is needed to explain the origins of his nickname.

Doug
“Eyechart” Gwosdz: A backup catcher for the San Diego Padres in the early
1980s, he earned a similarly styled pseudonym as Rzepczynski for obvious
reasons.

James
“Cool Papa” Bell: The Hall-of-Famer was legendary for his speed. Rumor has
it he was so fast he could turn off the lights in his room and get under the
covers before the room got dark. This is the kind of nickname you pray to get
instead of something like “Stinky.”

Carl “Meal
Ticket” Hubbell: There’s no big mystery what earned the southpaw this name.
During his 16 years with the New York Giants (1928-1943), he won 253 games with
a 2.98 ERA and was consistently one of the most dominant pitchers in the
National League. Naturally, he was ultimately
enshrined in the Hall of Fame in 1947.

Rich “El
Guapo” Garces: Spanish for “The Handsome One,” this nickname became iconic
for the portly right-handed reliever. Pitching primarily for the Boston Red
Sox, his image likely didn’t adorn too many walls. However, he became so
popular with fans that he came to be simply referred to as “Guapo.”

Dmitri “Da
Meathook” Young: During his 13-year major league career, the big hitter was
no stranger to the 300-pound range. That didn’t stop him from mashing 171 home
runs to go along with a .292 batting average. However, since his playing days
ended, Young has put his health in a stranglehold and gotten himself into tremendous
shape.

Carl “American
Idle” Pavano: Once a top pitching prospect, the right-hander went on to win
108 games with a 4.39 ERA over 14 seasons. Still, he will always be a classic
case of “what might have been,” as injuries caused him to miss a significant
portion of his career, and his frequent trips to the disabled list helped
create his unfortunate nickname.

Garry “The
Secretary of Defense” Maddox: An explanation of how the fleet-footed
outfielder got his nickname is probably not needed. Patrolling center field for
the San Francisco Giants and Philadelphia Phillies for 15 years (1972-1986),
Maddox was well known for his mastery with the leather.

“Shoeless”
Joe Jackson: If it wasn’t for that whole 1919
Black Sox scandal thing, the sweet-swinging left-handed outfielder would
have been in the Hall of Fame years ago. His .356 career batting average still
ranks third all-time, and he was a well-rounded five-tool player. Whether or
not the story
is true, he got his nickname for the time he supposedly played in a minor
league game in his stocking feet because his baseball cleats were too tight.

Dick “Dr.
Strangeglove” Stuart: The former first baseman could hit a baseball a long
way, clubbing 228 home runs in his 10 seasons in the majors. On the downside,
he had great difficulty stopping balls hit in his direction, once famously
earning a standing ovation for catching
a wind-swept hot dog wrapper on the fly during a game. His leaden glove bought
him his nickname, which is a play on a famous character in an eponymous Stanley Kubrick film.

These are some of the best baseball nicknames of all time.
Are there any that you think are missing?

1 comment:

Unlike hockey nowadays when they add en 'er' to the guys last name, baseball still has great nicknames... my fav. besides "Panda" was the one Edwin Encarnacion earned a few years ago when he was playing everyday 3rd base fore the Blue Jays. He could work the hot corner knocking down balls, but... oh! that throw to 1st base was a comedy of errors... his earned nickname was E5. E for Edwin/Encarnacion/Error... and 5 because that's the position number as well as his jersey number!!! Babe was a great nickname - after Paul Bunyon's ox... 'cause he was a strong as an ox... or I assume that was why. Bill Spaceman Lee - for his wackiness. Mark the Bird Fidrych... anyone who talks to his baseball is all right in my books. Pops Stargell and Dave Cobra Parker for age and striking ability, respectively...Thank goodness not everyone of Native American ancestry is called "Chief" anymore... Bye-Bye Balboni was a good nickname, too... too bad he couldn't maintain it.Cheers!