“Penelo, if you do not stop hunching over your bow like so you are going to develop scoliosis.” A one shot on what must have been going through each of our companion’s heads as they fought beside each other to save the world.

"Penelo,
if you do not stop hunching over your bow like so you are going to
develop scoliosis." A one shot on what must have been going through
each of our companion's heads as they fought beside each other to
save the world.

o-o-o-o-o

Balthier is not
one for fish.

This is fairly evident
when he makes it to Balfonheim and can walk no more than three feet
without being overcome with the intense desire to retch.

Of course, the only
person aware of this is Fran, for the pirate would sooner swallow his
bile thrice over than admit weakness in front of any of his
companions, even though they have had more than their fair share of
less then stellar moments in his wake.

"Fran, our weapons
smell like fish," he complains pettily as they cross over the
spread of Cerobi Steppe, lingering beside her as Penelo and Vaan jut
ahead and take the lead. They are ecstatic with the prospect of open
space and fresh air after being imprisoned in the Pharos for so long.

"Balthier," she
begins evenly, used to his odd quirks that only she has the fortune
to be graced with. "I do not care."

"Yes, but it agitates
me," he continues, pouting. It would take the entire Archadian army
to bring this man to his knees (and even that is not a definite), yet
he finds it within himself to whine about the current permeating
aroma as long as Fran is the only one to hear. It is what she gets
for becoming his family.

"I told you not to
purchase that," she states flatly. "Your former gun worked just
fine."

Balthier rolls his
eyes. "Yes my dear, but a man needs to suit up for battle, lest he
wants to be bait."

"I thought we used
Vaan as bait."

"Hush, Fran. He is
not aware of that."

It was at this moment
that the blond in question let out a rather deafening squeal in
response to being back attacked by a winged fiend of some grandiose
proportions.

Ashe let out an oath
vile enough to make even Basch turn a rather unsightly shade of
crimson and shot the animal out of the sky with a single arrow she
had borrowed from Fran some while back. Once the beast fell, Penelo
followed soon after, only she was victim to a vicious string of
giggles as opposed to Ashe's unrequited wrath.

o-o-o-o

Ashe is one for
cleanliness.

It may be hereditary or
it may be a by product of her strict upbringing, but she insists on
cleaning her Tourensol every evening after the day's battle and
does so until it shimmers enough to constitute as its own vanity
mirror rather than a weapon of mass destruction.

"Princess, you are
squandering our rations," Basch notes, trying to mitigate his tone
but finding it hard, for he does not see any reason to keep up
appearances while out on the battlefield.

"Nonsense. This is
only the fifth cleansing cloth I've used. We have plenty more."

"They double over as
gauze should we run out of Curaga, you know this."

"Well I see no need
for Curaga now," she chides, and resumes her dutiful
cleaning.

Balthier can be heard
muttering something characteristically profane concerning the
aristocracy, which Basch finds slightly amusing because, while the
man has no problem complaining about what bothers him, he lacks the
gumption to actually fix it.

But Basch keeps such
thoughts to himself. Even though, were it up to him, he would have
confronted Ba'Gamnan a long time ago as opposed to endlessly
running from him.

Then again, he presumes
that's what sky pirates do best.

Lest they are Vaan. For
he runs, just in the wrong direction.

Almost as if on cue,
Penelo substantiates in the dim glow of the campfire, teetering on
the edge of its glow with a rather troubled expression adorning her
features.

"Basch?" she
petitions. "Vaan fell into the Nabradia River again."

Yes. The wrong
direction indeed.

o-o-o-o-o

Penelo has an
odd attack stance.

It seems she has formed
a rather unsightly hunch while she fights on the battlefield, and it
does not take long for Balthier to notice.

"Penelo, you need to
stop slouching over your weapon like so. Sooner or later you will
fall victim to scoliosis."

The girl does such
things subconsciously, for when one grows up an orphan on the
streets, one learns to protect the little possessions they have. And
when your best friend is a thief, it is only natural to be extra wary
because you have seen what quick hands and quicker feet can do.

So she proceeds to
haunch over whatever weapon she is currently wielding, despite
Balthier's persistent nagging, and even despite Vaan's chagrin
and calling her an old maid.

"You're gonna grow
up and be like one of those little old ladies with hunches on their
back and cobwebs hanging from their nose. And then you'll loose
your teeth. And your hair."

"Vaan, that's
enough," Basch booms, trying to maintain order, but it's a
senseless endeavor, really, for who can claim control of two wild
orphans, an ex-princess, a viera, and a sky pirate?

Vaan's face screws up
in disdain, for he is not used to people telling him what to do.

"He's not the boss
of me," he mutters, sulking behind an ever sauntering Fran.

"Well then don't
listen," Balthier offers listlessly. "What's he going to do?
Throw you in prison?"

There is double
entendre laced within that last conceit but Vaan is too busy feeling
sorry for himself to notice.

o-o-o-o-o

Balthier looks
slightly feminine whilst summoning.

It is something Basch
has always noticed and kept to himself, and he wonders if Fran is
simply immune to it or has been around females for so long that she
scarcely knows the difference.

Just the way he sticks
his arm out, all dainty like, and leaves it to hover there, his
dramatic sleeves fluttering in the wind, makes Basch wonder if the
bravado is all part of the man's act or if he does such things
subconsciously.

"It's melodrama,"
Ashe offers in a curt fashion. "The man is an attention whore. Just
look at his garb."

"At least he has garb
to look at," Vaan grumbles from somewhere not far off, for just
like Basch, Ashe had taken up a habit of telling the orphan duo what
to do. The ill will practically radiates off the young boy's less
than favorable words.

Basch is well aware
Vaan reveres Balthier as some sort of warped role model, and
therefore will defend the man to a fault, but he can't comprehend
for the life of him why Vaan would rather look up to the outlaw as
opposed to him. Since when was a worthy aspiration that of
becoming a thief? Doesn't one resort to that in times of dire need
as opposed to boredom? Shouldn't the worth of a man be judged on
his character and not the amount of entertainment he puts on? His
actions as opposed to his words? And his thoughts as opposed to his
actions?

There is no way to
prove the aforementioned, but Basch likes to think he has a good idea
what is running through the sky pirate's mind most of the time.

He simply carbon copies
the assumption when trying to get in the headspace of Vaan.

o-o-o-o-o

Fran is able to
maintain her equilibrium in stilettos.

This amazes Penelo but
just confuses Vaan.

"I don't get it!"
he finally explodes one evening while the group was out hunting on
the Ozmone Plane. "That's just wrong on so many levels!"

Penelo turns to look at
him, for all the others had grown quite used to his random, wild
exclamations and had learned to pay him no heed. They figured it was
best if they let Penelo tend to him, for she was the only one who
knew how, or at least, the only one who was willing to do so.

"What is?" she
queries, her bow accidentally going off in the wrong direction and
missing Basch by mere centimeters. He turns to look at her and she
smiles and waves sheepishly.

"That!" Vaan
reiterates, pointing at Fran's footwear, completely oblivious to
the hazardous spectacle that took place right in front of his face.

"Her shoes?"

"Shoes?" Vaan
shrieks, the logic all but barreling him over at this point. "Those
are not shoes, Penelo. Those are...those are weapons in their own
right! That's ancient Rozzarian foot bondage, that's what it is.
Cruel and unusual punishment. Akin to a death sentence, even! Gee,
Penelo, you think Fran killed someone and that's why she has to
wear stilettos?"

"Vaan," Penelo
whispers. "That makes no sense."

"I'm serious!" he
continues. "You don't wear spikes like that!"

"I think it has
something to do with her heels."

"It's a cultural
norm," Balthier offers, coming up beside the duo and interrupting
their quarrel. "All viera wear footwear such as that. They have to.
The build of the planar region in their foot naturally arches and
they are incapable of walking or even standing in anything that
doesn't support their ankles."

Vaan pauses. Blinks.
Pauses again. And then blinks some more.

"You lost me at
planar region," he grumbles.

"Really?" Balthier
inquires. "I presumed I lost you at cultural norm."

He then swaggers ahead
to join the viera in question, smirk adorning his features.

o-o-o-o-o

Basch wears
scarcely little armor for a Knight of Dalmasca.

Balthier wonders if all
of Rabanstre has an affinity of being as naked as possible, for after
growing up in Archades, he is not used to seeing so much flesh.

Well, save for on his
viera counterpart.

But pale flesh,
ceramic pallors that rival that of opals, on men, no less,
this just doesn't sit well with him.

It is no wonder Rasler
was shot dead during the battle of Nabudis.

Of course, the sky
pirate knows better than to voice such observations out loud, even to
an introverted Fran, but he can't help but wonder if Rasler was
that moronic with all of decisions, or just his choice of dress.

Though, to be fair, it
appeared as though Basch was following in his footsteps, so perhaps
Dalmascan citizens were raised thinking they were somewhat
invincible.

o-o-o-o-o

Vaan is
convinced everyone but him is undergoing an identity crisis.

He could understand
Amalia, given the fact Princess Ashe was supposedly dead and all.

And while Lamont as
opposed to Larsa would win no medals for originality, it still made
sense in his mind.

Once could say he
started to have his fill of secret alter egos by the time it was
revealed to him that Balthier used to go by the name of Ffamran. He
wonders what Dr. Cid was ingesting when he decided to bestow such an
abuse of the English language unto his child. One would think the
family members would catch on to the man's nethicite addiction when
he started naming his offspring unpronounceable butcheries that held
about as much poetic flair as a butter knife. Perhaps this is why
Balthier is so drawn to the lime light. He is probably compensating
for a childhood of endless taunts and jeers concerning his less than
favorable title.

And then there was the
whole Noah thing, in which Vaan had to resist the urge to facepalm
because he did not want to seem disrespectful in the wake of the dead
(but really, they guy had tried to kill him three times, so Vaan was
a little less than distraught when he finally passed on. Penelo still
cries about it, though.)

And then Basch up and
took his former brother's identity so the rest of Ivalice could go
on believing he was dead.

"I'm giving my kids
simplistic names," he confided in Penelo one night in the wake of
the camp fire. "Like Bob and Joe and Sue. None of this ridiculous
fanfare stuff."

Penelo just looked at
him. "Please," she droned. "Vaan is no award winner, either."

o-o-o-o-o

Author's
Notes

This is liable for an
update as soon as I can think of more scenarios to add. Suggestions
are always welcome. I suppose this is a work in progress, liable to
change given the right amount of inspiration and caffeinated
beverages. Hope you enjoyed!

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.