How to sell a used car in Australia

Gumtree.com

By Jane Flanagan

Originally published: May 16, 2013

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Used car ads are well known for hackneyed phrases, like “fastidious owner”, “immaculate condition” and “like new”. One Australian seller decided to take a very different approach, describing his 1991 Subaru Ute as “the most diabolical slab of precious metal to be synthesised during the Big Bang”, among other things.

Expecting his brazen and hilarious claims to attract 50 or 60 extra sets of eyeballs, Rich Wisken had little idea his classified ad would go viral, attracting 200,000 views to date. See the full ad here.

“Facts” stated include:
“Cast as KITT in 1982’s Knight Rider TV series, but eventually deemed too intelligent for the role.”
“I drove it to my last job interview and my employer handed me his resume.”

And among the specifications, Wisken claims:
“Bullbar forged from unicorn horns.”
“Built-in chick/dude magnet (it knows your preference).”
“Integrated time machine (takes you back to 1991 when you step inside)”

The classified ad ends on a less surprising note, with Wisken linking to his Twitter and blog, explaining ” I drink heavily, then write.”