Humira makes me a bitch.

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I am so super sick of Humira. I really am. The side effects are driving me insane. Like at the current moment, my chest is on fire, if I wasn’t sure I have another Upper Respiratory Infection, I’d go to the hospital worried about my heart. Since 25 year olds totally have Heart Attacks that could totally turn into something crazy. Dr. House. Thank you for the paranoia. I appreciate it. Now turn on that accent and.. ahem. Excuse me. My bad.

Oh and the finger length bruise from the injection yesterday? It’s the perfect fashion accessory for those going for the strung out on heroin look. I swear, it’s classy. I just need dark(er) circles under my eyes and some dreads and I’d be set. I don’t know why that last injection hurt so much, I must have hit a vein in my leg or something. Either way. Lame.

I guess lately I’m just re-entering the “angry-at-something-I-can’t-change” phase. My health is still on the up and up but I’m just getting annoyed with being sick. Seriously fucking annoyed. If my Crohns isn’t acting up (which lately has been non-stop) my immune system is so battered from the Prednisone and the Humira that I’m constantly sniffling, coughing or in a general achy-state.

Lets not even talk about my joints.

I’m still highly grateful for the health that I do have, as well as my other extreme good fortunes as of late, but this shit is just irritating me. I had one normal month after starting Humira in April. ONE. ONE. I swear it’s like the proverbial carrot. God is all smiting me and shit.

“Look Sarah. This is health. Noooope. Nevermind. Save up your money and get that flat screen installed in the bathroom.”

“Gee God, thanks. You wonder why I don’t go to church. Oh and that one time with the hot pink combat boots? That was payback in advance for this. Prick.”

“Proverbial Carrot Sarah. Carrrot. You want to see it again? Well nope. Nope Nope Nope. Take solace in this, you and Robert were right. I’m the vengeful Old Testament God. Not the I-love-everyone-lets-sing-around-the-camp-fire-god. *Smite*.”

“I knew it. Fucking knew it!”

(Side notes: I’m sure I just pissed off a few Christians. Bite me. It’s a joke. Oh. And The Old Testament God was way more bad ass than the New Testament God. Again. Bite me.)

Alrighty then. I feel a tad bit better now. Plus I’m tired and almost done with my tea. This blog can choke on it tonight.