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By Debbie Schlussel
As an avid fan of TV’s “The Simpsons,” I was really looking forward to “The Simpsons Movie.” What a letdown.
They spent three years on this? Hard to believe, since it’s little more than an average–no, below average–episode of what you see on TV every Sunday Night. The only difference is that instead of the usual 1/2 hour, it’s 1 hour and 27 minutes (including the extremely long closing credits that have some animated Simpson’s content inserted in them, so you have to stay to see it).
I gotta give FOX credit, though, because they found a way to make you go somewhere and pay $10 a pop to see what you get for free, plus commercial breaks, every Sunday and most nights in re-runs on a myriad of TV stations.

The plot: Lake Springfield has become too polluted, so new laws are made to clean it up and stop dumping. But Homer violates them by putting a giant silo of pig-poop from his new pet pig into the river. So President Schwarzenegger allows EPA Chief Russ Cargill to quarantine Springfield under a giant plastic dome. Yawn.
The episode that pretends to be a feature-length film is relatively dull compared to the best Simpson episodes and doesn’t even hold water with the average ones. There was barely any scenes with my favorite characters, Mr. Burns (a/k/a Montgomery Burns), Smithers, and Apu. They barely existed at all in this one. The movie was all Lisa. Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, the least thrilling character in the whole show.
Was there anything different about the movie? Well, for one, you see Bart Simpson naked, yup, the semi-anatomically correct full monty. Funny? Yes. Necessary? No. (You need your little kid to see Bart Simpson’s animated penis?) And the opening “Itchy & Scratchy” film within a film was hilarious, complete with a Hillary Clinton cameo. In my view, that was the best part of the movie and it was all downhill from there.
Other than that, while the movie was funny and had some good laughs, it was really no better–and not even really on par with–your average Simpson’s episode.
As a movie-goer who hates the horrendously-long movies we get these days, I do applaud the short length, but it actually seemed a little long, given the 1/2 hour we’re used to. That’s the perfet length, which regularly comes to us at the perfect price, complete with bathroom breaks.
Bottom line: The movie was fine, but not outstanding or even above average. It simply doesn’t give you a reason to shell out $10 for what you can get for free in the comfort of your own home.
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6 Responses

As soon as I saw the word polluted in your review I was rolling my eyes and dreading having to listen to yet another Lisa the Lib harangue.
We went to one of the 7-11ís that was turned into a Kwik-E Mart to buy a Squishee. Unfortunately they didnít have and Duff beer. The guy behind the counter (cute little corn fed Midwestern boy) said that was because of the movieís family friendly rating. Dang. Well, the pink frosted donut was pretty good, and the kids thought it was fun. Let the marketing begin!

i just saw the movie today…i wasn’t too impressed. I’m glad i got to see it for free since i bought the season 8 box set and it came with a free movie ticket. The fact that it was free kinda made up for the non-impressiveness of the film. Maybe if i were 10 years old again it would have been mindblowing.
My favorite part was AUTO’s cameo…hitting a bong!

The movie was OK to slightly-better-than-average, there are many fine jokes to take out of the theater. However, Albert Brooks was terrible. His past roles on the show have made for the finest, funniest episodes–Hank Scorpio the evil Bond-villain parody, and as Brad Goodman the 90s New Age TV spiritualist. In the film, he plays the EPA head and every moment on screen w/ him is a downer. Not to offend any A. Brooks fans out there, but seems the aliens stole his funny-bone some time ago.