Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Meditate On Author Raji Lukkoor's Butt

That's right people: you can meditate on Raji Lukkoor's butt. I don't mean focus your inner eye above her inner thigh. I mean borrow her butt for a climactic metaphysical experience. No wait, that's not right. I mean benefit from the ten days she spent with her tush on a hard floor without moving yours off a soft couch.

Why sit on your white or black ass doing Buddhist meditation till you cramp, when you can have Raji Lukkoor sit on her fine brown authentically-Indian ass then write a book about her meditation retreat for you to experience vicariously? Inner Pilgrimage is the cramp-free intro to meditation we've all been waiting for.

As a sensitive chic-lit author, Raji probably won't approve of my tail first / head last review of her book. (Buddhism promotes a different kind of mindlessness than the idiocy we practice here.) Still, she actually started the discussion of her backside. As she systematically guides you in the book through a silent introspective meditation journey, she just happens to mention that the pillow she selected to support her posterior was very small. Nice subtle hint.

If mama bears can obsess about their backsides being the slightest bit too large or too small, we papa bears have the right to obsess about them being - how shall we say - just right! (Probably, the only way to get me at a ten-day vegetarian silence-fest is having a yoga babe promise to let me be that pillow. In a spirit of nonviolence, I take a sacred vow not to bite ... very often.) Buddhist meditation teaches us to scan up and down the parts of the body, so dwelling mentally on Raji's southern curves is probably an unspiritual form of attachment. Being the spiritual guy I am, I will now move on. I not only meditate daily on my own breath going in and out but also on the chest heaving respiration of female coworkers. How totally spiritual am I?

Thanks to Amazon, readers need not get off their rear ends or interupt the modern practice of mindlessness (television viewing) to order her book Inner Pilgrimage: Ten Days to a Mindful Me. Enlightenment and/or God can now be delivered to your home like a pizza. It's about time. Americans cannot be expected to climb a mountain or make significant life changes in the pursuit of spirituality like poor people with nothing else to do. God bless and totally accomodate America! Can I get an "Amen" out there?

In all seriousness, Raji has written an easily-readible and urbanite-accessible experiential guide to meditation. I recommend it for getting your feet wet then diving into more profound spiritual literature like the Bhagavadgita, the Bible, the Koran or my books. (Hey, profoundly ridiculous is still profound, so Lyn's books belong on the list.) I must now go meditate on my mantra: Oooommmy gosh these girls are hot! Oooommmy gosh these girls are hot! Inappropriately-long hugs and blessings.

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is smart, divertido, and so cleansing that I think I can defer a trip to Catemaco for a limpieza!" Tony Cohan, Author of On Mexican Time and Mexican Days

"Funny, literary, and hard-hitting. Professor Fuchs combines the humor of Twain, the alpha adventure of Hemingway, and the romantic sensitivity of Steinbeck. Just wish I was the one publishing it." John Kemmerly, Editor of Bluefoot Publishing

"I'm about half way through Fresh Wind & Strange Fire. A great read so far! Especially like the witty play on words. Good stuff!" Roz Savage, National Geographic Adventurer of the Year and first woman to solo row the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans.

"No one since Hunter S. Thompson has loved the wild and woolly world with as much intensity, insight, passion and gusto as Lyn Fuchs in his new collection of travel writing Sacred Ground & Holy Water. From Africa, Central America, India, the Pacific Northwest, and back again, Lyn´s rambunctious dispatches from the far corners of our strange globe arrive with the full force of whitewater plunging from mountains, lava burning the very soles from our hiking boots. So delicious are the bountiful meals he eats, so beautiful the foreign lasses he dallies with, nothing is left for the reader but a searing jealousy, an aching desire to be out there ourselves. Thompson, rest his soul, would be proud." Tony D´Souza, Author of Whiteman, The Konkans, and Mule

"An extraordinary travelogue. Lyn Fuchs seems to be up for anything and is an exhausting companion. I feel as if I have been bumped round the world in a week, waking only for the occasional surreal encounter, before bouncing on in a cloud of wacky ideas." John Gimlette, Author of At the Tomb of the Inflatable Pig: Travels in Paraguay, Theatre of Fish: Travels in Newfoundland and Labrador, and Panther Soup: A European Journey in War and Peace

"Alternating between profundity and lunacy, Lyn Fuchs delivers a highly readable romp in his own search for the meaning of the universe." Sean O'Reilly, President and Founder of Auriga Distribution Group, Redbrazil.com, Riverinthesky, & Travelers' Tales

"I found Sacred Ground & Holy Water quite a tonic - a mixture of enjoyment and irreverence. Many teachers say that enlightenment doesn't come to those who deliberately set out to find it. If you are open, it finds you. One of the main feelings I got from this book is that Lyn Fuchs is an open traveler." Ben Box, Author of Footprint Travel Guides

"Five Stars! Fuchs is a deft raconteur, and he shows he can paint a compelling romantic description: 'While the northern turning leaves mark the passing of years and urge productivity, the southern rolling waves hint of changeless eons and instill contentment.' Give credit to Fuchs for getting his point across. As he writes, 'Like it or not, all cultures are forever changing and forever changed.' Globalization is impacting Mayan culture in Guatemala, for example. Traditional local celebrations are turning tacky and curious. Yet, Fuchs offers valuable insights into people and how culture is changing for good and bad. Lovers of travel should heed his advice to visit once-classic cultures before they disappear forever." Gary Klinga, Reviewer at ForeWord Reviews

"Instead of your typical guidebook tour, Lyn Fuchs looks up (always the best view). He says what he's thinking in his mind and reflects not just on what he's seeing but the big picture: how religion is presented, how people act/react, what people are wearing. It's fascinating - sort of a social anthropologist, but only the interesting stuff. I loved this book." Andy Hayes, Editor of Sharing Travel Experiences

"I loved how raw and honest this book is. I picked this up to read for awhile on a Saturday night before tossing a movie in the DVD player. Needless to say, I never made the movie. I read this whole book, start to finish, right then." Mystee Blackwood, Reviewer at GoodReads Reviews

"A uniquely witty and perceptive take on Mexico - Fresh Wind & Strange Fire again shows Lyn Fuchs to be not just a mere travel writer, but also a practical philosopher a la Montaigne, with a dash of Henry Miller's American humor and sexuality." Rick Skwiot, Author of Sleeping With Poncho Villa, Death In Mexico, and San Miguel De Allende, Mexico: Memoir of a Sensual Quest For Spiritual Healing

"This book is a gem and I highly recommend it. The writing is top-notch with just enough snark to make his anecdotes fun. I had a hard time putting this book away." Barry Huddleston, Reviewer at Gnostalgia Book Reviews

"Lyn Fuchs succeeds in his mission to get men attracted to reading spiritual literature. That too admirably! Spicy writing with a strong male perspective with more than an ample dash of wit and humour make Sacred Ground & Holy Water a very enjoyable read." Shweta Ganesh Kumar, CNN Correspondent and Travel Journalist

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is just as the title suggests: fresh, original and passionate. Fuchs grips the reader, from beginning to end, with his historical detail, humor and socio-political anecdotes. This is a must read for anyone who lives in or aspires to travel extensively thoughout Mexico." Deanna Proach, News Blaze

"The writing in Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is almost poetic and the history, philosophy and comedy reek of the human spirit in Mexico. I feel privileged to have read this work as it fulfilled everything I want out of a book. Comedy, suspense and self-reflection. This work demonstrates all of these, and the exemplary writing grasps the 'show, don't tell' philosophy that many writers fail to practice." Jairus Reddy, Publisher at Hobbes End Publishing

"Fresh Wind & Strange Fire is earthy, raw and vibrant. It has the B. Traven authenticity with a Hunter S. Thompson fire. The stories are graphic and well-written. They show you a side of Mexican society that most foreigners and many Mexicans will never know - sometimes seamy, sometimes just alive and real. The author spins his tales with well-written prose and vivid description. Individual cities and towns are highlighted, but more as a backdrop for the human stories. I know nearly all the places the author mentions (except for the dark sides, which I do not know) and he does a good job summing up the atmosphere of the towns. This book is not for those with sensitive imaginations. Some may even find it disturbing. But if you can read graphic modern detective novels and watch modern crime shows, you should enjoy it." Mexico Mike Nelson, Author of Live Better South of the Border

"Sacred Ground & Holy Water is a collection of travel stories, significant events and memorable experiences during the extensive travels of the author, Lyn Fuchs. It seems there has never been a dull moment in Fuchs' travels: from encounters with bears in Yosemite, enduring bone rattling bus journeys in Central America, paddling with orcas, taking part in the Day of the Dead in Mexico, experiencing Samurai in Japan, or simply reflecting on a cockroach that shares his morning shower or a beetle he discovers in his navel. Sacred Ground & Holy Water mixes humor and irony into experiences that can only come from spending a significant part of one's life traveling the world. There are over a dozen "Tales of Enlightenment," all told in memorable humorous prose. This is not classic travel nonfiction where you get lost in detailed descriptions of people or place. It reads more like a narrative equivalent of channel surfing - simply skipping to the most memorable parts of someone's personal memoirs." Matt Scott, Reviewer at Matador Travel Network

"Gonzo tourist Fuchs's account of way-off-the-beaten-path Mexico makes Anthony Bourdain appear reserved. His approach style is primitive and organic, with no first-world intercession or assistance. Only three pages in and he's solicited a fake passport, trial-and-errored peyote dosage, and had a tooth extracted with wincing crudeness by a "dentist." While he's more author Hunter S. Thompson than travel guide Rick Steves, and certainly sensational in his gleefully gritty pursuit of the real Mexico, he's not exploitive, cloying, or insincere and more often than not he reveals with acuity and bite a talent for finding the conceit (with prickling quotability). Though not your standard travel guide - no maps, agenda, index, or even photos are in this book - it is nonetheless vivid, and illuminatingly dense with lost histories of an unconsidered culture. Fuchs rambles (sometimes escaping) from Mayan and Mixtec barrios and villages to cities and towns, and opens up to everything from mafiosos and mystics to moles and iguanas. Fuchs offers unpredictable reading, recommended to those who like travel to challenge their perspective." Benjamin Malczewski, Library Journal