Considering Hastings is a guy who made his name creating the story of a doctor who is also a ninja and his battles against space dinosaurs, ghost wizards and Dracula — and that he told ComicsAlliance last October that he’d love to write a Deadpool story — we expect him to fit right in with Marvel’s fourth-wall shattering Merc with a Mouth. But just so we’re sure where he’s coming from, we asked Hastings to give us his picks for The Five Most Awesome Moments in Deadpool History!

Deadpool#4 (1997)
Story by Joe Kelly
Art by Ed McGuiness

Hastings: How I love comic book logic. Deadpool’s healing factor is breaking down for some reason, except he blew up some kind of nuclear facility, bombarding him with gamma radiation, which appears to be the only thing keeping him alive.

Obviously he must acquire some of the Hulk’s blood so he’ll be cured!

I like a lot of things about this fight. I like that the Hulk throws a car at a plane (I will always love anyone throwing cars at planes).

I like that Deadpool enters the fight with the rally cry of “TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS” and then “What? You expected me to say ‘Spoon?’”

Most of all, I love that Deadpool is the first person to do anything to counter the Hulk’s “super jumping power.” The Hulk jumps WAAAAAY up in the air, and while he’s doing that, Deadpool maps a trajectory and sets up a broken street sign pole so the Hulk can impale himself on it.

Hastings: For some reason, it tickles me to use the words “vampires” and “draculas” synonymously. What a delight it was to read that Deadpool feels the same way!

It also tickles me that in this issue there is some hilariously out of character Marvel integrated advertising. Tony Stark is on some sort of magic computer picking out gifts for all of his superhero friends. BOD MAN fragrance for the Hulk!? Tony! You are rich as HEEELLL. Get the man a decent cologne!

Anyway, back to the story, here writer Daniel Way and I also agree on the fact that vampires TOTALLY are running the institutionalized blood bank game. You may recall from The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, “Spooky Stuff,” that the vampires have a hedonistic pillow lair underneath the Red Cross. In this, the good side of the vampire community run a nice hospital.

Obviously this is the solution that makes most sense for a healthy long-lifed dracula.

I’m a sucker for badass ninja vampire hunters. Yes I enjoyed all the Blade movies AND the TV show. Anyway, Deadpool’s anti-dracula moves are among the slickest. These vampires have amulets that protect them, and it’s really ominous and terrible… until Deadpool just puts a bullet in an amulet.

Hastings: Deadpool gets hired by a total d-bag rich businessman to take out a rival d-bag rich businessman in the skyscraper across the street.

Deadpool’s not going to do it, but then he finds out his client has a mutant son whose face is even more hideous than Deadpool’s.

And the target has threatened to out the hideous mutant son to the press. Presumably in the Marvel universe, this would have some sort of negative effect on the client. I know in the real world that if Jay Leno were to reveal to the world that Conan O’Brien had an ugly son with magic powers, it probably would just make Leno out to look like a dick. WHOOPS DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO GO THAT FAR FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.

So, the office is right across the street? Well that’s a PERFECT use for Deadpool’s hot new ride.

A Vespa. Which he constantly must reassure himself is manly. I think if he just told people he was riding it because THE RHINO trashed his car, he’d get by just fine. Anyway, Deadpool hacks a couple legs off a desk to turn it into a ramp, and he drives that scooter off the ramp, through the window, through the air across the street, and BAM right into the target’s office.

And then he just ties the target’s shoe laces together and kicks him out the window while acting debilitated from a migraine.

SO MANLY.

Deadpool #27 (1999)

Story by Joe Kelly
Art by Scott McDaniel

Hastings: I think this is probably Deadpool’s most famous and memorable moment. This page has been posted in every corner of the internet, immediately followed by “Lol what’s ninja spiderman doing???”

But it’s with good reason! Is this the first occurrence of a Marvel character acknowledging the iconic “Snikt” sound effect in continuity? Probably, considering he’s the only one in that place allowed to break the fourth wall. But obviously the real hilarity here is a Street Fighter 2 reference in a “Knock Knock, Who’s There?” set up to his uppercutting Kitty Pryde. And then it’s followed up with a pretty sweet fight with Wolverine. “His Most Gratuitous Appearance Ever!”

I’ll admit, the reason it probably gets so much play around the internet is because of the “hilarious” violence against a lady, and internet message boards are filled with misogynistic misanthropes. Personally, I just like that he called upon Street Fighter 2 to incite a fight with Wolverine. Oh, and why did he need to incite a fight with Wolverine? Because his psychiatrist told him the best way for him to stop seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriend would be to get in a good long fight, and Wolverine is the only guy on Earth who can fight Deadpool for very long, because of their matching healing factors.

Also Deadpool’s psychiatrist has a bell for a head and is named Dr. Bong.

For more from Hastings, check out his webcomic The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, updated every Monday, Wednesday and Friday! And if his tastes in Deadpool comics match yours, keep an eye out for Fear Itself: Deadpool, on sale in May!

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