Game Description: Duke Nukem Forever brings back the king of action in a highly anticipated game set to pummel players with unprecedented interactivity, variety, realism, and Duke's special whoop-ass brand of humor.

Duke Nukem Forever Review

After 14 years, the icon of PC shooters returns… in the most pathetically lackluster, immature, and uninspired shooters you're likely to see for years to come.

The Pros

Shrink Ray is still fun...

The Cons

Offensive, banal, and boring all at the same time

Terrible level design and pacing

Sluggish controls

Bad multiplayer

Duke Nukem Forever Review:

There are few games in the gaming history with as long and sordid a past as Duke Nukem Forever. The follow up to Duke Nukem 3D, a truly innovative and advanced shooter from 1996, this sequel has been in development limbo ever since. In the intervening years, shooter technology has greatly advanced, but apparently no one told Duke...or his developers. The game can be summed up by the fact that Duke can grab a turd out of a nasty toilet bowl and turn on faucets, but not actually wash his hands. And you’ll really want to wash your hands of this game after playing it.

It’s Got History, but No Character

Duke Nukem 3D was released amidst an endless sea of terrible Doom clones, the game added a level of interactivity to shooters that has seldom been matched even today. Duke himself was a throwback to the sexist, nearly-superhuman action heroes of 80's cinema. He was funny for the time, but ultimately a cardboard-thin caricature. It didn't matter back then, simply because the level design and gameplay were terrific.

Duke Nukem Forever portrays Duke as little more than a psychopathic, violently misogynistic, witless thug. He's a personality-less, outdated savant of violence who speaks only through quotes from movies two decades old and is only capable of interacting with others by either killing or screwing them. In some cases, both.

That the character of Duke Nukem is so utterly reprehensible is only one problem with Forever. Video games should be a cathartic release, and, when done skillfully, a bit of the old ultra violence and tawdry sexism is definitely fun. When done badly however, this sort of content becomes an immature, offensive, and tasteless mess. Duke Nukem Forever is easily one of the most inanely written games out there, with appalling dialogue and shoddy paper-thin stereotypes instead of actual characters.

Duke Nukem 3D was a wonderland of destructible walls, all kinds of interaction with the environment, and tons of hidden things to find. Duke Nukem Forever lets you urinate in toilets, pick up feces, and press buttons. The sole focus of the game is on bottom-of-the-barrel immaturity and crudeness. Sadly this also extends to the actual game design. The pacing right from the start is broken and uneven. Most of the levels are uninspired, linear, and uninteresting. Late in the game, a few sparks of hope appear, but given Forever’s surprising length (about 10 hours) it's too little too late.

The map design is mostly plodding from one wave of brainless bad guys to another. Occasionally, the combat is broken up by puzzles that usually involve pressing buttons and then struggling with the strangely sluggish controls to move across annoyingly precarious platforms. Of course, there are massive boss fights as well.

In all fairness, some of the boss designs are entertaining, but the mechanisms for defeating them are tired. The most advanced strategy used in Duke Nukem Forever is circle strafing. Bosses are only susceptible to rockets and other heavy weapons, and while they look decent, the fights are almost all as uninspired and lackluster as the rest of the game.

Braindead on Arrival

It doesn't help that there's virtually no real AI in the game. Enemy pig cop, octabrains, teleporting jetpack guards, and other variations on all the same aliens from the original game make appearances here. Unfortunately, the creatures also use the same bare bones tactics from the first game. Occasionally, there are allied characters, but they’re merely scripted, brainless cannon fodder to move the pointless story along.

Most of the guns from the original game are back as well. The shrink ray is still entertaining, but all of the new guns are forgettable. One concept that Duke Nukem Forever did take from modern games is the two-gun limit, so you're always switching weapons or just focusing on the same two through most of the game. Duke is constantly running out of ammo as well, forcing you to either pick up dropped weapons, or continually run back to infinitely-supplied ammo boxes.

The visuals are another major problem. Simply put, the game is ugly. Most character models are primitive and blocky, textures are blotchy, and the overall look of the level architecture makes the game seem almost ten years old. Worse, textures and scenery in general are used repetitively through each segment, which combines with the awful pacing—frequently involving bouts of nothing to do—to make the game amazingly boring.

Multiplayer was another high mark for the original Duke, but here it almost feels like an afterthought. There’s the usual array of deathmatches and team variations, including Capture the Babe—an inanely misogynist CTF variant. On par with the rest of the game, the multiplayer is borderline broken. Terrible lag, unresponsive controls, and a frame rate that just drops through the floor ruin what might have otherwise been an at least serviceably nostalgic deathmatch.

If Only Forever Had Never Come

All the flaws mentioned here are only the tip of the iceberg, really. Duke Nukem Forever is a game that does virtually nothing right. It’s the sort of bottom-feeding game you’d expect to come from some no-name publisher for $20. Yet, it’s a major, full-priced release, with mainstream awareness, which is perhaps the game’s worst crime. This is a game so offensive and poorly done that it single-handedly manages to concrete every negative stereotype that mainstream press and prejudiced non-gamers accuse our industry of suffering from. Whatever you do, don’t buy this game.

Comments are Closed

I JUST got the game yesterday and I love it. I'm only 21 and I've played the others, and as far as I can see they did a good job. Bad sexual jokes and strippers and stuff are what's been in Duke games forever. You guys were wrong to dis the game just because you didn't like it. Don't like it? Play something else. You guys have never actually PLAYED the games and you just don't get it. They did a good job. They gave what they promised. You guys that are pissed just need to shut up.

I JUST got the game yesterday and I love it. I'm only 21 and I've played the others, and as far as I can see they did a good job. Bad sexual jokes and strippers and stuff are what's been in Duke games forever. You guys were wrong to dis the game just because you didn't like it. Don't like it? Play something else. You guys have never actually PLAYED the games and you just don't get it. They did a good job. They gave what they promised. You guys that are pissed just need to shut up.

Duke Nukem forever has fell victim to profesional reviewers comparing apples to grape jam. I mean they held the game up to the standards of other succesfull games. And it's fair to do that. Nostalgia alone doesn't make a good game but it does factor in to a degree. I can tell Duke Nukem forever is a very old game production wise. It's early levels have really crappy graphics and towards the middle of the game the graphics get alot better. They're still not really good but they do get better as the game goes on. I respect the way Gearbox designed the levels and gameplay to try and "feel" like the oldschool Duke Nukem games but they stuck to this formula to a fault. I think people would have rather seen a Duke Nukem game with more story, more choices and more enemy variety. Regardless some people will say that Duke Nukems lack of those things is what make it "Duke Nukem". But the majority doesn't lie. Obviously alot of people were dissapointed by FOREVER. Sure the game wasn't as terrible as alot of reviews make out but let's face it. It didn't live up to the hype or even come close. Duke Nukem as a game series needed a major updated overhaul and instead just got basically a So-so graphical update. I bought the game only because it was on clearance at Wal-Mart for ten dollars. The game went down to 10 bucks faster than any game I've ever saw. I wasn't dissapointed for ten dollars but I would have been majorly let down if I'd have bought it for 60 dollars when it was new. Duke Nukem is a gaming Icon who just hasn't found his place among todays games yet. Maybe there will be another Duke game. I hope it doesn't take another 14 years to make though.

I really liked this game. It was kinda short yes... I finished it in 1 day on the hardest difficulty but today that's not a big deal. The thing I loved most about the game was the boobs. Finally a game that didnt shy away from nudity or sexual humor. There were parts that were challenging, as well as a few times I couldnt figure out how to get where I needed to be but overall the game was great. Just wish I could have saved those babes that were encased in the walls of the alien ship. Oh also Loved the glory hole scene LMAO that was funny as hell. She choked on it ha ha ha ha ha ha.

4/5 only cons being that it was quick and the girls were only topless.

It seems odd that in a game known expressly for the over-the-top so bad that it's funny level of sexism and teenage "toilet humor" that you would even bother calling the game out on it, I mean, that's like his signature

Too many people have been way too hard on this game. The game was fun and it was on par with some of the other Duke Nukem fans. Sure the graphics weren't that great, but the game was fun and so was the online multilayer.smartvideogamer.com

Well, I have to admit that nostalgia really plays a huge role in this game. Most of it's success can be attributed to hype and legacy, but it's just a level of stupid fun that is rarely seen today. The graphics are terrible, the jokes are bad, and the action is dull, but for some reason I'm still having fun just being a part of this sadistic point in history. I can see where an unbiased person would clearly give this a 1/5, but for those of us who just want to watch the world burn, those of us who pop in Troll 2 and can't get enough of it, it's going to be the greatest 1/5 ever.

I'm seeing a common theme here... Fanboys that have waited the 19586123 years it has taken to come out with this game pissed that the game really doesn't live up to the hype and now they can't deal with the results. It's called denial and yes, there is therapy for it.

Xplay lacks.they've lack for 5 years. they suck at reviews. Games i love they give 1 or 2'sI just look for the games they give low ratings too n go play them n have a great time doing it.

I would rule all of u G4 panzys in almost any game.Ud end up pullin halo or cod out ur ass.But tekken, streetfighter, king of fighters, killer instinct, any rom on mame. mugen, blitz 2000, no mercy, any super game, any sega game, powerstone 1 n 2, I could go on all day. Not trying to prove any nonpoint with my internet slander. im just saying. ya'll suck n i felt the needed to type it sence u hated on duke so bad.

ok so you give child of eden a 5/5 for beieng a 5 hour game and being repetitive but you give duke nukem a 1/5 for it is a decent game at the most that has some things from the old games it should be a 3/5

I keep seeing the comment "You guys like it when GTA does it so you shouldn't complain about it in DNF."

GTA's protagonists are not heroes. They're not the kind of people who anyone should aspire to be. What makes a game like that fun is the ability to do anything (to a degree) that you want and would never do in real life. Furthermore, Rockstar has shown that they've evolved tremendously in storytelling. Take a look at the recent games Red Dead Redemption and L.A. Noire. Developed characters with complex personalities and well defined strengths and weaknesses. Hell, even Niko from GTAIV wasn't a mindless drone who just wanted a life of sex and violence. He at least had some decent aspirations and compassion towards some people.

Duke Nukem is a macho airhead that everyone worships, and he could give a damn about anyone else, even if they're suffering. Yes, I know it's not supposed to be taken seriously, but how long can I stand to play a game where I'm forced to see the same joke repeated ad nauseum? I know that Duke is full of himself when I start, and no matter what happens, he's not going to change. You can say that it's fun for being over the top, but they don't even exploit that well. Duke has only a handful of mostly weak one-liners at his disposal, doesn't really pull off any amazing stunts or do anything that any other FPS protagonist couldn't easily do. Unlike Rockstar, DNF's developers show no evolution from the 90s.

You can also say that it's a mindless game just designed for you to shoot your way through some baddies, but even that's flawed by Duke going down like a sack of bricks if he doesn't take cover in every major firefight. And for Duke, he needs more cover than the average shooter. Is it supposed to be some humorous irony that Duke is this pathetic in battle? I'm not laughing.

This game could've been like Conker's Bad Fur Day and poked fun at a ton of shooter cliches. Imagine how much better it would've been with some better writing and gameplay that shifted its elements around by the level. DNF was a package of potential for years, and all I see here is filth.

@Estaples: Yes i did... that's why i posted my comment. I can understand the points people are making but i played the game, i'm not hating on Duke it's just not a good game. The gameplay, the glitches, the humor... some people may find a bit of joy in it, but overall it's a bad game. Nothing more, nothing less.

Giving Duke Nukem a bad review because of how immature and raunchy it is, is like giving Mario a bad review because he's Italian again. it's what fans expect, if anyone bought this game for a riveting story line and in depth plot obviously doesn't know crap about the series and is a poorer person for not knowing so. Plus I've seen worse graphics for a next gen system, these graphics are passable. reviewers got so damn spoiled with games, they all expect these crappy cookie cutter rip-offs like Halo and Gears of War. Play the game for what it is and don't compare it to something that's been over hyped and has a crazy die-hard fan base already