You wake up one day, and you're in a village for some reason.
You wander around, bemused, until you stumble upon the main village square.
Once there you start asking lots of stupid questions.
People (who are mostly naked for some reason) throw things at you.
You escape by ducking into a nearby building and find a rack of pamphlets by the door.
The title of the pamphlet reads: "Everything You Wanted to Know About LotGD, but Were Afraid to Ask."
Looking furtively around to make sure nobody's watching, you open one and read:

"So, you're a Newbie. Welcome to the club.
Here you will find answers to the questions that plague you.
Well, actually you will find answers to the questions that plagued US.
So, here, read and learn, and leave us alone!"