Often Irreverent, Mostly Rational Blog for Fans of the Toronto Blue Jays. One Day, We'll Be Perfect.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A shocking admission: We heckled Roy Halladay

In a guest column written for the Ghosties, J from 3:10 to Joba equates the heresy of booing Derek Jeter to heckling Roy Halladay. Because it would take a real asshole to do something like that.

In fact, it would take an asshole like us.

It happened while Doc was in the midst of his Road to Redemption (or at least Relevance) Tour of the minor leagues when he stopped by the ballpark of a certain defunct Triple A franchise. We were in attendance, along with at least a couple of dozen other folks on this particular cold and damp weeknight. We had made a special trip to the game to catch a glimpse of the former Jays top prospect to see if he was likely to ever regain his form, or be vaguely as awesome as Kelvim Escobar. (Because what more could you have hoped for, really?)

We had a few tasty beverages in us as the game moved into the middle innings, and were generally enjoying the sound of our own voice as we expounded on the game of baseball to any poor sap caught within earshot. (This was before we had the blog as the outlet for this sort of jibber-jabber...you can take us out in public now.)

That's when the rains came. Actually, not so much rains as a small sprinkle. Which eventually turned into a vague mist.

And here's where you're going to have to suspend your disbelief and go with us, because it's where the story get weird: Doc was being really deliberate on the mound. Like sloooow. Long looks in to the catcher, and multiple meetings on the mound to go over the signs. His innings seemed to be taking forever.

And as Doc was chatting with his backstop and the rains shifted from a mist into a slight drizzle, we let our best snark fly:

"Come on Doc! I'm made of sugar here and I'm not going to make it through the rest of this inning at this rate!"

We got a few laughs and chuckles for that line, mostly from our inebriated buddy and a random SkyChiefs fan. But whatever positive reinforcement we received that night, it is not nearly enough to offset the dishonour that we've felt with each passing year.

C'mon Tao. Chances are you cheered for somebody who didn't deserve it (once) too. It's okay. Maybe you were the one who made Doc efficient. Clearly you didn't punch the final hole in his confidence, so relax.

Reminds me of the time I was on the RF line, and Rios was right beside me, and the place was dead. The jays down 5-2 to the Orioles in July. Rios had watched first strike fastballs all night. I said to him straight up, in a normal voice "Alex, why do you watch that candy go by? Have you ever heard of a homerun?" He looks at me, and says calmly, "yeah."

Well, he got up with the bases loaded and hit a bases-clearing triple, followed by him scoring the winning run, in the first walkoff win of the season.

I felt bad, as I RARELY heckle our guys, other than that goat Gregg Zaun. I was a bit ashamed, as you should be too, but Rios went on a tear after that game.

We had a few tasty beverages in us as the game moved into the middle innings, and were generally enjoying the sound of our own voice as we expounded on the game of baseball to any poor sap caught within earshot. (This was before we had the blog as the outlet for this sort of jibber-jabber...you can take us out in public now.) softmod Wii | how to softmod Wii