I am an evil giraffe. Who no longer blogs about politics.

I’ll get grief for that title, sure. People will confidently tell me that I’m wrong. But that’s OK: I like what I like. As does this guy:

Faced with uproar at home and a social media storm abroad, the president of Iceland has been forced to clarify his outspoken stance on one of the defining questions of the age: whether pineapple should be allowed on pizza.

Australia’s Department of Agriculture has announced that its researchers have made a breakthrough that will send shockwaves across beach resorts and tiki-themed restaurants around the world. Through careful breeding they’ve managed to produce a sweet pineapple that also tastes like coconut, reducing future Pina Colada recipes to just two ingredients.

The next step, of course, is to make the pineapple-coconut sufficiently naturally alcoholic on its own. Because SCIENCE!