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Tuesday, November 6, 2007

A lot of you guys have been emailing me to get the details on my book. There isn't too much to tell yet. I've spoken with a couple of publishers. They're looking at my proposal and deciding if my book will be a good fit with their publishing house. Within the next few weeks, I expect I'll have some offers from one or more of them. Then my agent will go through the offers and figure out which one is the best for me. I did learn something interesting though. The earliest my book will be out is fall of 2008. That's the EARLIEST! Crazy, huh? It's even crazier because I've almost finished writing it! Who knew that the books we buy in the bookstore were written at least a year or two before they went on sale? The good news is - when I finish up this book in another couple weeks or so, I can start on my second book! :)Anyway, that's where my book stands now. I'll be sure and let you know when I sign with a publisher in the next couple months or so.

My daughter brought home a list of common and not so common fears the other day that I'd like to share with you.

First off - I'm not making fun of anyone who actually has one of more of these fears. Everyone's afraid of something. These are just more uncommon than most and I find some of the names humorous. (Yes, it's sad that I have to preface my post with this disclaimer, but I just know someone's going to comment that I'm a horrible, cruel person for making fun of those who are afraid of air or something.)

Ephebiphobia - fear of teenagersI think I might have a touch of this.

Geniophobia - fear of chinsAvoid Jay Leno if you suffer from this affliction.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - fear of long wordsAnyone else see the irony in this? How do you think patients feel every time they see their diagnosis?

Mycophobia - fear of mushroomsAfter seeing the Dirty Jobs episode where they showed how mushrooms are grown in poop, I may just develop this fear.

98 comments:

LOVE the pajamaphobia!!! I HAVE THAT!!! Not only when I take the kids to school, but also some days, when I walk out to the mailbox and when I haven't had the time to shower and dress properly.... ie. unmatching top and bottoms and those unflattering (whisper "clogs")... rubber shoes... that I DREAD having to go to the store, in fear that I'll run into someone... should add a "Badhairunkemptdressedphobia"!

Love your stuff! Congratulations on getting the agent/manager and continued blessings as you shop for the best book deal!

First let me say thanks for sharing all the details of the book deal. I had NO IDEA it took that long to publish a book - that seems crazy! I mean didn't that OJ book If I did it get done super fast? I hope that your agent finds a great deal for you and you can nest away some $$$ for the kids, some trips and whatever else you've been dreaming of. You deserve it!

AND WOW you are writing a second book - you GO GO GO girl! I feel like a huge slacker when I read all that you do in one day! It sure gives me something to shoot for!

Next - those phobias - wow. I had to re-read the post b/c I thought it was a joke. Seriously my fear is something happening to my daughter as in someone taking her or hurting her.

OK onto a more positve ending. I can't leave it like that! Thanks for letting us all feel like we are a tiny part of your wonderful journey. If you ever get time to just read blogs - yeah, right - check mine out! I'd love to hear what YOU think since you are the master!

SOOO Funny! I am sitting here cracking up! You sound like Lucy on that Charlie Brown Christmas special where you starts naming off fears. I think I have studentaphobia...fear that one of my 2nd grade students may spot me when I am shopping and looking grungy. LOL! :)

To the person who just left me a comment with some questions - I tried to post your comment. It says I posted it, but it doesn't seem to be showing up. Anyway, I wanted to answer your questions. I'm not sure what an RSS thing is. If it's a way to subscribe to my blog, I have a link on the right column that says Blogarithm.com. You can sign up to be notified of updates there. If that's not what you're talking about, I'm sorry. I'm very much technologically inept.As far as my archives, I still have them on my blog. It just doesn't say "archives" anymore. It says "Old Stuff and it's on the right side under the ads. Just click on a month to read older stuff.Thanks!

Very funny! I love the fear of long words... you would think they could have come up with a shorter word for it???? Maybe that was to keep patients out of their own files? Idunno.

I used to fear spiders and needles, but after 2 hard pregnancies where they gave me all kinds of shots every week and then having to be "Mommy the Spider Hunter" for my wimpy kids... I'm overcoming them. Pretty soon I will be fearless thanks to my kids.

I would have to say that my phobia would be Tocophobia - fear of pregnancy or childbirth. After six I think I would go mad lol.I also had no idea that books took that long to get onto the shelves I suppose after all the proof reads and other stuff involved though. I cant wait till its out I will have to order online as I daresay it will take longer to get here in Australia.

Ok I do have to make one snarky little comment about the fear of yellow....cough...ahem...If we were drinking enough fluids (which I don't either), our pee would not be yellow (which most people's is) - instead our pee should be clear (only seen that after a heavy night at the bar), therefore we should all drink more fluids (of your own choosing) LOL My PSA for the day.

Other than heights, spiders, and the dark...I am terribly grossed out by the whites of my toenails. Yes, just mine. Not so much a "fear", just a personal habit I suppose. They really just bother me and I have a tendency to purposefully cut them back into the quick and/or ingrown area. Long toenails of "The Lost Boys" preportions on other people also totally skeeve me out.

I have a friend who is afraid of the colour yellow.. It has to be a specific yellow.. "Rain coat yellow" to be specific. My first car was this colour, he refused to go near it and none of us (including him!) worked out why until years later.

As far as pee'ing goes.. I imagine he just closed his eyes. Which would certainly explain the state of the bathroom. (Of course, it was also 3 bachelors sharing a house, which explained MANY messes..)

Yes the RSS is like subscribing to a news service you need to download a programme for it (mine has a Japanese sounding name and is free like everything I download.) Then whatever you subscribe to goes into that programme and you open it to find the updates. I have a couple of newspapers but I forget to go in all the time

No I didn't understand that either lol Subscribing to your blog is easier ( didn't even see that ) I come here first thing every morning anyway and have a good laugh with my first /second/third coffee

And I'm sure I speak for the majority of us who read ....WE TOTALLY GET WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM. You shouldn't have to apologize in advance for stuff you say although I must admit I did say in one comment I was joking and not serious..........*sigh* .some people have too much time on their hands and have never read Erna Bombeck, it's their loss :)

A pet hate of mine is drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups.......yeerrkkkk!!!!!! Have to go to a meeting next week where there'll be styrofoam cups . How do I know? I'm helping to organize it . Thanks for reminding me to sneak a proper coffee mug into my lunch bag ;)

Haha!! How about... commentaryclaustrophobia- the fear of what comment might come out of your child's mouth while you are trapped in a small, crowded elevatorunpunctualophobia- the fear of never being anywhere on time for the rest of your lifesockmonsterophobia- the fear that there really IS a monster that eats up all your socks.....what the heck else could be happening to them??

Dawn,I've been reading your blog since the Ebay thing. You crack me up - and I can relate to much of what you say, even thoug I only have two kids. I work full time, but I still have to do all of the mommy/wife things - my problem is I need to cram it between 5:30 and 11:00, and of course all day and night on the weekends. It can be exhausting.

Anyway - I have a really weird fear that I thought I would share. It became a topic of much mockery at work recently when we had a Halloween party (read: we bring in lots of food and chow down all day.) I am afraid of wooden spoons. I can hardly look at them. I actually have a physical reaction to them - I start to get all sweaty and the glands in my mouth work overtime, kind of like I just ate something really sour. No, I was never beaten with a wooden spoon as a child. My parents were teachers and I grew up in the 70s - they were all "peace and love." Never laid a hand on me - much less with a wooden spoon. I don't know what it stems from, but when I saw my coworker come out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in her treat I stopped talking mid-sentence and stared at her. My other coworker who know about my fear cracked up, and then had to tell everyone. It was pretty funny. She had to put the spoon away and I was OK. I can't touch those things, much less use one to cook with, or God forbid, take a "taste of sauce" or whatnot off of it. I can't even stand TV shows or movies where someone is cooking a nice dinner for someone else (usually with romantic intentions) and says, "Here - taste this" and holds the offending wooden spoon out, with thier other hand gingerly cups the bottom of the spoon to prevent dripping. It makes my skin crawl. Anyway, do you have a name for my phobia? I'd like to be able to tell people what the name if my ailment it.

Thanks for the fun post. I felt like I was reading a script from Lucy on Peanuts where she tries to find out what is wrong with Charlie Brown in her little homemade booth! That will be a nickel please! :)

I guess my silly fun answer would be snakes. They freak me out. Honestly though, most of my real fears are just the things that I know will probably happen in the future. I have to just keep telling myself that God gives you grace for today, let tomorrow worry about itself, right? I guess that would be worry--sometimes it is hard to tell the difference!Have a great day!

Very funny...love your blog. My biggest fear is "Turningintomymotherphobia" followed closely by "Hubbyturningintohisdaddyphobia"--he's already starting to slurp his coffee and grunt when he gets out of a chair. Maybe I should combine the two into "Oldphogiephobia"!

In my house, "flushophobia", is the fear of actually flushing the toilet. It is perhaps fed by "loudflushophobia" which is a fear of a really loud toilet flush. My 5-year-old son actually puts his hands over his ears while I flush the toilet for him in public restrooms!

What is it called when you to to the Planetarium & you're afraid to get spontaneously sucked up into the dome? Or on a crystal blue cloudless day (yes it has to be crystal blue & cloudless) you're afraid you'll suddenly get sucked up into the sky?

Yeah I have that one.... sometimes.

And barf. The only barf I can handle is the barf that comes out of my kids. Otherwise, I get all sweaty & panicky when people puke around me. So much so, that I haven't barfed since I was 13 years old.

Honestly my 2 biggest fears are snakes and airplanes. I do not know what their phobia names would be though. I cannot even look at a snake, crawling across the road while I am driving in my car, completely safe from that snake. My stomach gets queasy and somehow I feel the need to raise my feet from the floor of the car. I have no idea what that is all about.And airplanes....jeez, I have tried to conquer that fear, by actually getting on one. But I cried and hyperventilated the whole time, just picture the plane falling from the sky in a big fireball.

I think my biggest fear is "silenceophobia," the fear of what's REALLY going on when you finally realize that the noise of mischeif happening has ceased to exist...cuz we ALL know the kids didn't just nod off to sleep! :o)

BTW...great Band-Aid from your last blog! I've been known to sport Buzz Lightyear bandages from time to time. Ah, the joys of boys! LOL

LOL those are too funny, esp your commentary. My biggest fear is spiders. They creep me out. I know that I'm bigger and they are more afraid of me than I am of them & it's totally irrational but I flip every time I see one, esp the bigger ones. Blech.

I definitely have Pajamaphobia. You would think that after I got into an accident after dropping the kids off, that I would GET DRESSED BEFORE LEAVNG THE HOUSE! I also have the MIL one but it's not quite a fear! ;)

When I started reading your list of phunny phobias, I had this sudden flash of your cartoon-self (from your blog header charactature) sitting behind Lucy VanPelt's "Psychiatrist" booth in all the Charlie Brown cartoons.

Remember when she used to try and diagnose Charlie Brown's fears? That's the picture that's stuck in my head. Thanks for the giggles!!

I have a sevenpmpmphobia aka as nightlymarathonphobia - the fear that once you come home, you will have to complete the following tasks: cook dinner, feed the kids, bathe them, put pj's on two squirming toddlers, and nurse a toddler with full set of teeth to sleep - all in one hour. I have to overcome this one every worknight. Sigh...

pursophobia - fear that kids somehow got to my purse (while I was running the nightly marathon)and mixed its contents with their toys and/or flushed them down the toilet.

permanentlymessyhousephobia - fear that the house will never be neat. I think my husband got that one.

You mean see which publisher offers you the most money, don't you? just note that the actual ADVANCE is a portion of the money they expect the book to make, and however not infinate, some publishers might offer a higher advance than others, but you might think about and look for other things in a publisher, too. Here's hoping you get published!!!

I love this!! I had to laugh at a lot of the phobias, I didn't think enough people could be afraid of that stuff that they would actually name them!!! Gotta love people with too much time on their hands to come up with the names and who comes up with these names anyway?

My worst fear is windows. It's not a paralyzing fear or anything... not like I can't be AROUND windows at all. They just freak me out, especially the more open they are. (I guess my bigger fear is someone looking in the windows or me being able to look out) Drives my husband crazy because I have to have the blinds closed and a heavy curtain over ALL the windows or I get freaked out. My sister's place makes me crazy because she has this ENORMOUS window in her living room with NOTHING covering it. Totally creeps me out.

LOL! Love the phobias! I definitely suffer from scalophobia. *shivers* A touch of the ephibiphobia, too, but that only goes for the hoodlums in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of the night.

Thanks for the laugh today and best of luck with your book! It does take a long, long time to publish a book! I have a self-published book of tatting patterns and my husband wrote a book on how to buy a car. My husband decided after a while to just put the whole thing online instead of going the publishing route. If you're interested, it's at www.becauseyouwantit.com.

I fear cotton. Cotton balls, q-tips, anything cotton like. I can't stand to have a wet towel or wet clothing touch me or my fingernails. Certain kinds of fabrics that others find really soft I find really revolting. I have to deal with it though. Else my laundry would never get done and I'd freeze before I drip dried. I know its a corny fear, trust me, my family constantly makes fun of me for it, but its a true fear. There is just no technical name for it yet. Thanks for posting on the fears, I love hearing about others wacky phobias. Oh, and I can't WAIT until your book comes out! Then when I can find it at half price books. I <3 half price books.

Fear of Escalators......my family makes fun of how I get on and off and of how I just stand there stiff the whole trip up (or down). It stems back to a childhood injury where I actually sat down and got my youknowwhat pinched....and another time as a child when I pushed a red button to see what would happen......and it stopped and the security guard yelled at me. So, with that said, I fear escalators.

The second one is my fear of Pillsbury Pop N Fresh Dough...you know how you have to push a spoon on the seam......I HATE IT! I get all prepared, I hold it as far from my body as I possibly can, I hold my breath and turn my face away........and I still jump in fear when the can pops open.

So there! Someone can come up with names for my fears and if you know of any support groups in PA, please let me know!

Explodophobia - the fear of the exploding dirty diaper, even worse in public!

FreakyTeenFriendsophobia - the fear that my teenagers have friends who are freaks - some of them just make me shudder!

On a serious note... I really do have an irrational fear of needles and it's called needlephobia. Weird, I sew a lot. But this is why I've never had an epidural. I wasn't trying to be tough, I'm a total wuss.

I have a fear of bats! Speaking in front of large groups of people and riding on roller coasters , although Ive tried to face the last one and did ride almost all of the rollercoasters at Disneyland. All except the Matterhorn one.

i'm afraid of heights, i get really dizzy and it feels like everything around me is spinning. i feel like i can breath and i hyperventilate. imagine how i felt when we took a trip to the grand canyon and hoover dam. i was 20 feet away from the edge and was freaking out. i also have a fear of train tracks. when i'm in the car i'm fine but if i'm walking or riding a bike or anything i freak out. i start to feel like my legs are stuck and wont move, i get dizzy and things start spinning around, and everything just goes silent. i cant hear any noise. these are probably my 2 greatest fears. yes i'm afraid of any kind of bugs. even ants. i start to feel like i have them all over me and freak out. sometimes we get them on the kitchen counter and i cant even go in that room, let alone eat in my house, but its not quite as bad as the other two. i'm a nutcase. you can admit it. lol.

My friend told me about your blog. I love it. I never miss a day. I have a weird fear. I'm afraid of other peoples closets, basements and garages. This all started when I was a child and I went into my Granparents bedroom, closed the door. Hanging on the inside was a black wool coat. I thought it was a dead body. Ever since, I've had this fear. Pretty sad, since I'm old enough to over come it. I can't.

LOL! I fear having a balloon pop right in my face when I am blowing it up. I hate blowing up balloons because of this. (Oddly enough, once they're away from me the popping doesn't bother me at all).

Love these from a previous comment:"commentaryclaustrophobia- the fear of what comment might come out of your child's mouth while you are trapped in a small, crowded elevatorunpunctualophobia- the fear of never being anywhere on time for the rest of your life"- me too!

And I have to agree with the one about the pressurized cardboard cans (like for Pillsbury rolls).

You know, it said 16 comments when I opened it, but I think by now there's way more than 16 comments on here.

Anyway, I also (as someone else mentioned above) have vomitophobia - a fear of vomit; mine or anyone else's. If anyone does it near me, I get goosebumps and start sweating, along with feeling the intense need to gag/vomit myself. However, I hate vomiting with such a passion that I have managed to avoid doing so for at least the last, oh, 7 years or so. *shudders even thinking about vomit*

I've just started blogging and was introduced to your sight by the famous E bay Pokemon sale. I am the mom of seven boys. 3yrs.-16 yrs. so, your writing is a much needed break in my testosterone laden days. I think my biggest fear is: Itsfridayandsomeonesgotto cleantheican'taimwithagameboyinonehandwhilebeingshotatwithanairsoftgun bathroomaphobia.

Those are great Dawn! I especially like the fear of teenagers one. I wonder if I could claim that as a reason for not working at a school this year? Probably not since I have one at my house, huh? Shucks. And the book thing, I guess that explains why I have to wait so long for the next Plum book to come out. Darn it. Can not wait to hear more about your book, and to see it in print!

I've been a "lurker" for a while now but had to post tonight :) Love the blog and think I have "styrophobia". People can't understand it but I HAVE to cover my ears and look away whenever someone opens a package with styrofoam in it. I won't touch it and the sound of it rubbing together gives me the chills - even just thinking about it now!

I have dirtyunderwearophobia. I can't stand touching underwear (or socks) in my laundry and grab them with two fingertips by the very edge of the waistband to toss them in the washer and sterilize my hands with soap and boiling water (okay, just really hot) afterwards.

I have read your blog for a while and like so many, I enjoy your writing and get a great laugh. My husband often gives me funny looks when I am reading your blog and laughing out loud.

My fear would be equinophobia. I am terrified of horses. I get all stiff when I am around them and then start thinking about how animals can smell fear and then I get scared that the horse will start freaking out because I am freaking out. And to make it worse, my husband grew up on a cattle ranch. Is there a fear of trying to impress your ranch-owning in-laws while petting a horse?

Whatsonthefloorbehindthetoiletophobia -for those of us who have boys that don't aim.Sippycupunderthecouchforaweekophobia- fear of curdled milk.Screenfreezingduringstressophobia -Fear of your computer freezing when you have a project that needs to be finished 10 minutes ago. This is usually combined with Printerrunningoutofinkophobia.Callingmybluffophobia- Fear of your children finding out that you won't really pull the car over and make them walk.Thewholestorejustsawmeinmyunderwearophobia- Fear of your toddler opening the fitting room door while you are trying on clothes. (This actually happened to me)Jill

(Speak an affirmative, if you say ayespeak an affirmative, if you say aye)

My tendency to vacillate when I was but a ladMade my patriarch pontificate that I was badHis punitative measures were so physically cruelFor my vocabulary had rebelled against his rule

HippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiaMade my father metamorphose into a great ogreHe paddled on my derriere from May until OctoberHippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

(Lost effervescency, made rather shylost effervescency, made rather shy)

I flew from Great Britannia and I found TajikistanTo cogitate and contemplate; accumulate a tanThe peoples there indigenous would listen to me talkThey'd stay there temporarily then have to take a walk

HippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiaI diagnosed afflictions from New Zealand to MongoliaYou say "Salutations" and they just don't want to know yaHippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

(Never belligerent, that I denynever belligerent, that I deny)

So if a feline quadruped has grappled on your tongueBe not apprehensive when you hear a word so longGreet with jubilation every lengthy word you hearFor quantitatively rich words are nothing you should fear

HippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobiaEven when intoxicated makes one rather soberWhy trust the diminutive when it's so mediocre?Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia!

Just have to say that I’ve stumbled on your site a few times and have added it as a favorite….I love your writing and its nice to see other moms feel the way I do about my son. Take care and happy blogging!!

I don't think there is a name for my fear. I think I am all alone on this one. I have a fear of kites. I'm ok to look at them in a store. I can put them together. But once I get outside with them, all I want to do is puke. I can't even stand watching somebody fly a kite. It's a dirty shame. Three of my children have BEAUTIFUL kites. Too bad Dad is always working and doesn't have time for that sort of thing.

I also can't hold/can't watch my kids hold helium balloons outside without panicking. I tie a slip knot on the end, put it on a wrist and then still clutch the string for dear life.

I would like to add a part two to "flushaphobia", and that would be the fear a child has after making an appropriate deposit into the potty of flushing it away. My son seems to have this as he will not flush if he goes in there alone. Lucky for me, the toilet he uses most is near the front door, so I can check it before company comes over.

As for "yellow", you can make it "green" if you take diurex, those water pills. I had a skinny dress to wear for a holiday party and took some of them (the pills are blue) and then a few hours later, tried to set a good potty example for my little guy. LMBO, I stood, he looked, gasped and said, "Mommy! You peet wike a wepwetahn!" Which took me a second to realize was "leprecon". I spent almost more time trying to figure out where he learned that word than I did sorting out how yellow + blue = green.

And before you feel bad about writting a disclaimer, feel good that you thought enough to actually WRITE said disclaimer. There are some of us that wouldn't have thought that far ahead. : D

I work at a church. And I have a nasty potty mouth. It's a bad combination. One of these days I'm going to say something like, "Oh goddamn this fucking bulletin!" right in front of one of the little old ladies or the minister (who'd probably laugh and tease me for days)

Unfinishedanimationphobiahave you ever watched an animated movie and on the bonus features screen there is some words saying Technical goofs or Mad mishapes?have you ever pressed the enter button on your remote control over those words?if you have, you've seen Grotesque animated clips of greatly warped charactors of the movie,I cannot stand watching these kinds of things at all!!!I mean, the producer thought that would be funny!? sheesh

hey! long time no comment sorry bout that! short on time!anyways i have a few fears don't know the long word that says what they are but in simple terms here they are"flying. i have never ever ever been on a plane and i don't intend to either. i would have to be dead in order to fly. no wait. even then I would still wake up screaming if I was dead and on a plane! heights. yea this one plays into the plane thing. I panic when I am off the ground even in elevators and crossing bridges. I can't stand to it. I have never been on a ride that takes me up in the air. these 2 are my biggest fears!

Im a 22 yo male single no kids but absolutly love your blog. I love to laugh and your blog never fails to make me laugh. I too have some silly, and some not so silly fears. I am afraid of silence, this is accompanied by silence in the dark. If there are noises, specifically music, I can sit in pitch darkness all night long. I'm afraid of deep water. Afraid of dying. Afraid of spiders. Afraid of groups of people that i dont know, specifically peers. Im afraid of changes too. I like everything to stay the same. I'm sure there are other fears i have too, but those are the big ones.

What a funny entry! I don't usually have the time to read the tons of comments, but this was too good to pass up. Many comments were hilarious, but many thanks to Daddy Mike for the song about Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. I have never heard of that word before. Who knew there was a song about it? Thanks for all the laughs!