Sue Moore

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Ronee Sue Blakley sues over What Maisie Knew

By:
WENN.com
Apr 21, 2014

Oscar-nominated actress and singer Ronee Sue Blakley has filed a defamation lawsuit against her screenwriter ex Carroll Cartwright amid allegations of defamation relating to his 2012 film What Maisie Knew. Cartwright co-wrote the script for the drama, which was said to be an adaptation of Henry James' 1897 novel of the same name.
The story followed a young girl who was used as a pawn in a bitter custody battle between her abusive mother Susanna, played onscreen by Julianne Moore, and her father Beale, portrayed by Steve Coogan.
However, Blakley is convinced Cartwright used aspects of their own lengthy custody fight over their daughter Sarah in the film and now she is suing, citing "libel in fiction".
In her complaint, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, her lawyer writes, "If Susanna had been an entirely fictional character, this lawsuit would never have been filed. But that is not the case. Cartwright, who co-wrote the screenplay of the Film, has admitted that it is closely based on his own first hand (sic) personal experience of a lengthy and acrimonious battle for the custody of his daughter, Sarah."
The papers continue: "Cartwright wrote the screenplay to further his own feelings of hatred for Blakley by maliciously and falsely portraying her as a selfish and uncaring mother, when in fact she was a devoted and loving parent. This false depiction of Blakley has damaged her reputation and caused her to suffer severe emotional distress."
Blakley, known for her roles in 1975 movie Nashville and A Nightmare on Elm Street in 1984, is suing for $3 million (£1.9 million) in damages.

DreamWorks
For the bulk of every Rocky and Bullwinkle episode, moose and squirrel would engage in high concept escapades that satirized geopolitics, contemporary cinema, and the very fabrics of the human condition. With all of that to work with, there's no excuse for why the pair and their Soviet nemeses haven't gotten a decent movie adaptation. But the ingenious Mr. Peabody and his faithful boy Sherman are another story, intercut between Rocky and Bullwinkle segments to teach kids brief history lessons and toss in a nearly lethal dose of puns. Their stories and relationship were much simpler, which means that bringing their shtick to the big screen would entail a lot more invention — always risky when you're dealing with precious material.
For the most part, Mr. Peabody &amp; Sherman handles the regeneration of its heroes aptly, allowing for emotionally substance in their unique father-son relationship and all the difficulties inherent therein. The story is no subtle metaphor for the difficulties surrounding gay adoption, with society decreeing that a dog, no matter how hyper-intelligent, cannot be a suitable father. The central plot has Peabody hosting a party for a disapproving child services agent and the parents of a young girl with whom 7-year-old Sherman had a schoolyard spat, all in order to prove himself a suitable dad. Of course, the WABAC comes into play when the tots take it for a spin, forcing Peabody to rush to their rescue.
Getting down to personals, we also see the left brain-heavy Peabody struggle with being father Sherman deserves. The bulk of the emotional marks are hit as we learn just how much Peabody cares for Sherman, and just how hard it has been to accept that his only family is growing up and changing.
DreamWorks
But more successful than the new is the film's handling of the old — the material that Peabody and Sherman purists will adore. They travel back in time via the WABAC Machine to Ancient Egypt, the Renaissance, and the Trojan War, and 18th Century France, explaining the cultural backdrop and historical significance of the settings and characters they happen upon, all with that irreverent (but no longer racist) flare that the old cartoons enjoyed. And oh... the puns.
Mr. Peabody &amp; Sherman is a f**king treasure trove of some of the most amazingly bad puns in recent cinema. This effort alone will leave you in awe.
The film does unravel in its final act, bringing the science-fiction of time travel a little too close to the forefront and dropping the ball on a good deal of its emotional groundwork. What seemed to be substantial building blocks do not pay off in the way we might, as scholars of animated family cinema, have anticipated, leaving the movie with an unfinished feeling.
But all in all, it's a bright, compassionate, reasonably educational, and occasionally funny if not altogether worthy tribute to an old favorite. And since we don't have our own WABAC machine to return to a time of regularly scheduled Peabody and Sherman cartoons, this will do okay for now.
If nothing else, it's worth your time for the puns.
3/5
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Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer/Screen Gems
Brian De Palma's adaptation of Carrie ranks as one of the best film versions of a Steven King story. But while the 1976 version created some fantastic moments of cinema history (the splitscreens, the slow motion, everything Piper Laurie) the remake coming out at the end of this week still has plenty of untouched source material to work with. Here are afew suggestions of things that director Kimberly Piece hopefully considered adding to her version of the high school horror tale.
1. Actual Teenagers: While Sissy Spacek's performance was perfect for De Palma's heightened, surreal atmosphere (and even earned her an Oscar nomination), if the new Carrie is looking to be more faithful to the book, one thing they can do is cast actual teenagers. Chloe Grace Moretz is actually 16, so we're off to a good start.
2. "Flexing:" Much is made in the book of how hard Carrie has to work to channel her powers. She practices every night, slowly working her way up to moving heavier, bigger things, until she can flip cars with ease. That's what makes the climax so terrifying — she's making the conscious choice to torture everyone, and since this new films looks to be more of a horror and less of a suspenseful drama, anything that makes Carrie White more evil in the final act is a good idea. This also adds to the whole arc of the story: Carrie is a put-upon girl who would have been able to be accepted if only people had listened and gotten out of her way.
3. People Vote for Carrie: In the 1976 film version, the evil girl Chris replaces all of the actual Prom King and Queen votes with ones for Carrie. In the book, sure, Chris is scheming, but the student body also just seems to get on board with Carrie, who actually proves herself at the prom and has a good time joking and hanging out. It makes the ending that much better, and this a story where everything is in the ending, right?
4. Childhood: One mistake audiences often make is that Carrie's powers are activated in the beginning of the movie. Instead, she's had them since childhood, and her mother's control actually stems equally from fear that they will return. The book has a fantastic story, told from the perspective of a neighbor, about a four-year-old Carrie bringing a rain of stones down on the house after her mother punishes her.
5. They Are Going to Laugh At You: In the 1976 version, Carrie just imagines the prom guests laughing at her, but in the book, such is that they can't help themselves and really do. Because, if we're being honest, high school is really, really embarrassing and awkward. And Chris is, in the end, pulling a prank. A cruel prank, but still. The slowly mounting horror is even better when offset because the characters just can't help but laugh... until it's too late.
6. Sue At Home: There's probably not much time in a feature film for nicest-of-the-mean-girls Sue's entire arc, which includes worries about college, a pregnancy scare, and falling in love with Brad (the sap who ends up taking Carrie to prom). But in the book, the only reason she isn't murdered by Carrie is that she chooses to stay home from the prom, giving us a window into what's happening in the rest of the town. Which leads to —
7. Get Rid of the Whole Damn Town: In the novel, the carnage goes far beyond just the school gymnasium, enough that the premise of the book is an exploration of one of the greatest American tragedies. Given that technology is no longer a hindrance, hopefully we'll get to see the full range of what Carrie can do.
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Guys, we need to have a talk about Teen Mom.
As a feminist and proponent of sex education, I applauded this documentary reality series about the long-term consequences of teen pregnancy when it premiered. Now that word has leaked about a sex tape/porn video featuring one of those original cast members, Farrah Abraham (and costarring The Canyons' James Deen)— just one of many signs that stardom has not been kind to these girls — I am questioning more than ever whether the good this show has done could ever outweigh the bad that piles up on its "stars."
I loved 16 and Pregnant when it first debuted on MTV. I thought it was everything television should be: moving, thought-provoking, educational, authentic. It showed young audiences the lives of real girls from many different backgrounds, all struggling with unintended pregnancies. We learned over and over the massive sacrifices — of schoolwork, fun, and future success — that pregnancy and childbirth demanded of teen girls. We saw that the fairytale endings they often envision with their baby daddies do not come to pass since the boys, who are not physically connected to the fetus, often run when things get tough.
When MTV decided to follow a handful of these featured girls through a series, Teen Mom, I thought that was even better. We could see how these girls’ lives continued to evolve, for good and bad. We could see that the consequences unraveled over many years. We could have one more compelling, memorable reminder, week after week on a popular national television network, that birth control is essential and awesome. All the public service announcements in the world, I thought, could not do what 90 seconds of this television show could do.
I commended the girls who agreed to be featured, who allowed this continued invasion of their privacy to share with others what they’d learned. As a reporter, I even visited one, Maci Bookout, who struck me as articulate and responsible, and wrote about all of the four original Teen Moms for Entertainment Weekly.
I have since changed my mind about the show, or at least wished that MTV had ended the series after a season or two, tops — maybe if we’d gotten them off the air a little quicker, the gossip-mag attention would’ve been lessened. Perhaps because these girls opened up their dramatic personal lives so completely, they have grown into tabloid monsters. And probably because they weren’t terribly well-off in life to begin with, they’re particularly vulnerable to the worst of the fame machine. I’ve long disputed the idea that this show is detrimental for "glamorizing" teen pregnancy. If you watch at least five minutes of it, you’ll see no hint of glamour.
Quite frankly, the "glamorous" aspects their lives have since taken on, due to their status as "stars," look harrowing as well: Their role in the show has wrought not movie deals nor fashion-magazine covers. It has wrought, apparently, porn shoots, endless tabloid shots, and highly publicized arrests.
There’s a lesson here. Even the best-intentioned producers must be careful with where they point their cameras and spotlights. The most interesting "reality" subjects are also often the most vulnerable, and you can’t control what happens to them outside the shooting schedule and editing room.
Hollywood.com correspondent Jennifer Keishin Armstrong is the author of Sexy Feminism and Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted, a history of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, due out in May. Visit her online at JenniferKArmstrong.com.
Follow Jennifer on Twitter @jmkarmstrong
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Lucky Number 7: VH1 has decided to extend The Jenny McCarthy Show with an order for seven additional episodes. Since its February premiere, Jenny McCarthy’s pop culture talk show has maintained steady viewers and featured a handful of C-list celebrities including Bar Refaeli and Snooki. This extension comes amidst talk that funny girl is being considered to replace Joy Behar on The View, but McCarthy has dismissed the rumors stressing that her allegiance is to VH1. McCarthy will wrap her original episode order next Friday, March 29, and after a brief break the show will resume with new episodes on Friday, April 12. [Deadline]
Oh Baby! Just as production wrapped on season two of ABC Family's Baby Daddy, the network announced it has picked up the sitcom for a third season. The half-hour show has become the top-rated new comedy series in the history of the network. "Baby Daddy was an immediate success when it launched," ABC Family President Michael Ray said in a press release. "Based on the creative strength we saw during production on Season 2, and how the episodes, storylines and characters are developing, we decided to double down on this hit show and keep it in production for additional episodes." Fans can catch the season two premiere of Baby Daddy Wednesday, May 29. [Via release]
Hot Reunion For Mary Tyler Moore Show: Welcome back some old friends: Mary Tyler Moore, Valerie Harper, and Cloris Leachman will all guest star on an upcoming episode of Betty White's TV LandHot in Cleveland. All four actresses starred in the multiple Emmy-winning Mary Tyler Moore Show. Georgia Engel -- who also starred in the classic show -- will appear in the episode as well, as she’s had a recurring role on the sitcom since last spring. The episode is about White’s Elka and Engel’s Mamie Sue reuniting their old bowling team, which once included Diane (Moore), Peg (Leachman), and Angie (Harper). This will be the first time in more than 30 years that these five women have appeared on a sitcom together. Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson will also guest star in the reunion episode as a world-renowned, avant garde director with whom Wendie Malick’s Victoria would kill to work. But Ferguson's eccentric director wants to work with a different character, causing a complicated triangle to form. [Entertainment Weekly, TVLine]
Won't You Be My Neighbor? One Tree Hill alum Bethany Joy Lenz has just booked a recurring role on Dexter's eighth (and likely final) season, which kicks off on June 30 at 9 PM ET/PT. Lenz will play Cassie, an "an attractive former finance executive looking for a quieter life," and is slated to debut in the fourth episode. Since she will wind up moving in next door to our favorite serial killer, it looks like she won't find that quieter life she so wants... [TV Guide]
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[Photo Credit: Bob D'Amico/Getty Images]
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Oh, Paris, the city of love, the city of lights, the city of protracted labor disputes and cab drivers who block the bridges so that they can get their way. The Real Balzac's of Taint Gulch will fit in perfectly here. After all this is Paris, the home of knitting mean ladies who plot destruction at every turn, fashion designers who go on anti-Semetic drunken rants in cafes, and deformed creatures that ring the bells, the bells, the bells, bells, bells, bells. Somehow through some strange twist of fate they've all flown Tahiti Nui Air, the discount airline of the most luxiurious nobodies in the whole entire universe, and they've all just descended on this cultural capital of the world. No one is safe, particularly not anyone associated with the Mona Lisa (Vanderpump).
But before we can cross the big ocean to get to Frawnce, first we have to deal with what happened in good old Californ-I-A. First of all Kim Richards went over to visit her sister Kyle Richards and they wanted to let their Wonder Twin powers activate to tell the Widow Armstrong that she needed to join the temperance movement. Yes, Kim thought that this Victorian widow has been hitting the brandy a little too much (not hitting the Brandi a little too much, which is solely the provenance of Adrienne Queen of the Maloofs, the mole people that live under the mountain). Kyle was reticent to have such a meeting because, well, she has been down this "you're an alcoholic" path before with her sister Kim, and it ended with nothing but heartbreak and tears and drunken fights in the back of the limo where you are accused of stealing someone's house.
This was actually a very interesting and insightful discussion between the Sisters Richards, as was the one they had later in the airport. It seems like the two are working towards some sort of resolution. The problem was that Kyle felt slighted from all those years of Kim's abuse, and thought that her sobriety should mean a huge apology and everything should be better. Kim, naturally, knew that her drinking partially had to do with how awful Kyle made her feel all the time and that they had stuff to work out. Here Kim got to tell Kyle that, even though she didn't stop drinking when Kyle had all those conversations with her, she definitely heard her and it helped her to get her to where she is today. At the airport when Kim said that she would hide wine in a coffee cup (which, I mean, is sort of sad genius) it was her confessing her tricks; coming clean with her misdeeds of the past. Of course, Kim explained to Kyle that she did not blow on her coffee cup to make everyone think it was a warm beverage. Kyle thinks Kim would do that. Kyle is first and foremost an actress. She would have gone that extra step and really committed to the character.
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OK, so the two decided to tromp on over to the Widow Armstrong's townhome which is still swathed in black bunting to let the world know that she is in mourning. Kim was wearing giant sunglasses that keep falling off her face because her new nose is so tiny that it is being engulfed by black designer plastic. They got in there and Kim said, "Taylor, I know this is hard, but I know a drunk when I see one and you, darling, you are a drunk. Remember all the parties? Remember when you climbed into a suitcase and said you wanted to go home? Remember when you cackled and laughed with manic abandon? Remember when you shouted mean things at people and clinked your wine glasses together and totally ruined Lisa's tea which I couldn't attend because a dog punched me in the face? Remember all those things? Remember just last week when you ran off with a man and packed your daughter in the cupboard with a box of Golden Grahams and a giant Evian? Well, those things mean you're a drunk."
Taylor took a long look at both of them and said, "I know. You're right. But the drinking helps me forget. It helps me forget that I am raising a daughter on my own and that someone sued me for one point five million dollars. It helps me forget that the only way I have to make money is this stupid show and possibly my body. It helps me forget where I put my daughter so that Kyle and my mother and my nanny can figure it out. But most of all, it helps me forget Russell, my Russell swinging from that rafter. Dead. Dead!" Then she sobbed seven times, whisked her hair back away from her face and said, "You're right. I am going to stop drinking now. Thank you, ladies, for pointing this out to me. You've been very helpful."
They laughed and chatted for a little bit, talking about their children and schools. They talked about how Kim loves a house with a sitting area because, well, she is currently living in a trailer with a pool so it has no living room, just two benches with a table between them like a booth at one of the finer Denny's in Broward County. Kim really wants a sitting area, with a hassock and some sofas and maybe a tuffet or two. Then Taylor told them about the Man Who Went to Beaver Creek and they had some tea. Herbal Soother, I think it was. Finally she showed them the door and they hugged and Kim and Kyle walked out into the sunshine, feeling its sudden warmth on their skin. Kim took Kyle's hand and smiled, and swung it three times before dropping it and running over to the passenger side of the Mercedes.
Inside, Taylor closed the door and felt the cool of the vestibule, the shadows all around her that weren't dark but weren't light. They were like twilight, and she walked back into the kitchen and put her empty mug on the counter. It was time to freshen up. She got the bottle of Chablis from the fridge and poured it almost to the brim, slurping out the palish liquid with her gigantic lips before settling into the couch cushions and breathing that sigh of forget.
We now interrupt this recap to bring you the newest episode of At Someone Else's Home with Yolanda Bananas Foster. Our hostess Yolanda Bananas Foster was holding a housewarming party for her ex-husband Mohammad, who is also a close friend of Lisa Vanderpump's. I'm not quite sure why, considering Yolanda invited only her contractually obligated "friends." It was more of a "I know a guy who is so rich that he lives in a tacky hotel that has swans in the pool, can you believe it?" party.
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Anyway all the ladies showed and Kyle, who usually is allergic to sleeves, was wearing this insane sequined dress that looked like what they make the fat hostesses wear at a lesser Indian casino on Idaho or something. And the sleeves were like gigantic wizard sleeves. Yolanda, for the first time ever, was not in jeans, and was wearing this super chic blue dress with a gathered neck and a darker blue tie and skirt. It was very Lanvin. She can dress when she wants.
The problem with this Yolanda party was that her husband, David Foster Wallace, was there. He is just the worst, is he not? Fetch, as usual, was doing her "take my husband, please!" routine about how her husband is so in love with her and she just wants to sleep with other guys. Then someone asked how long they've been together and she said 17 years and DFW said, "Time to trade her in for a newer model. HAHAHAHA!" Except he's not HAHAHAHA. He really means it. He is an awful person who has been married like a million times and will probably try to marry Yolanda's daughter once her mother has passed her expiration date. The Worst.
That was the end of the party, and everyone figured out they would be in Paris so they all decided they would go together and get Bravo to pay for it. That is how the Housewives roll. First Lisa and Ken needed to stop by St. Tropez to spend a few days with Ken's son Warren.
I need to break a few things down here first. I'm going to start by saying that I would like the Vanderpumps to adopt me like they did Max. They can just cart me around the world and dress me up in little outfits and pretend like I'm Giggy. I have alopecia too! I would like to speak French and hang out on delicious compounds where the guest house is just beyond the tennis court and it is all steps away from a gorgeous beach with sand as white as the cast of the Real Housewives of Everywhere But Atlanta (thanks for that joke, Joan Rivers) and the sea is as blue as that gross glass jar full of combs at the barber shop. That is what I want.
I also want Warren, who is hot. Warren is 45, has a tight body, is rather attractive in a young Rod Stewart kind of way, and has a shit ton of money. Lisa says that he is entirely self made from doing real estate deals, and I am sure that is partially true but getting some starter money from dear old dad probably didn't hurt either. Anyway, I'm not sure what exactly what is going on with Warren, because he married a friend of Lisa's named Sue who has the same somewhat sadistic sense of humor as Ms. Vanderpump but does not have the same surgeon. She looks old! She looks like the kind of lady who married a man 15 years younger than her back before Demi Moore made it fashionable.
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Now Sue was in The Spy Who Loved Me (she played the Log Cabin Girl) which came out in 1977. Even if she was 18 when that movie was made, she'd be 53 today. Sue does not look 53. I only bring this up because Lisa claims to be 50. Lisa looks very good for her age. She does not look 50. She doesn't. I'm sorry. I would guess closer to 58 or 59 (I won't say the "sixty" word out loud). That is just my guess. Now I love Lisa, but I don't think people should lie about their age. That's just silly. Especially if you're Lisa and you're older than poor old Sue and your face doesn't look like a coin purse that was left out in the sun. Shouldn't you say, "I'm sixty" and be proud and not kick your leg up in the air like some stupid SNL character.
Nothing really exciting happened in St. Tropez, so they went off to Paris where, well, nothing exciting happened either. We found out that Fetch didn't make the trip because her father-in-law died of a heart attack (he was a movie producer and in the In Memoriam montage at the Oscars) and everyone was going to hang out and watch fireworks.
The all gathered on Brandi and Yolanda's balcony and took in the view of the Eiffel Tower on Bastille Day as the only six planes in the French Air Force flew overhead and leaked red, white, and blue smoke out of their tail pipes. Kyle thought that was very sweet way for them to welcome the whole crew to the country, displaying the colors of the American flag just for them. Yes, just for them.
Kim, of course, was the last person to join the group. She tottered out on the balcony and she wasn't quite feeling right. "Oh, no, it's just the jet lag," she said when Lisa asked her some question and she gave some giggly answers that made no sense. She laughed maniacally and then the wind blew up her dress and she slurred, "I'm like Marilyn! Psfasdihiost," as she swatted at her face to get the hair away from it.
They all looked at her and it was a look she recognized immediately: knowning concern. They were all worried it happened again, that she was standing there in a hotel as the wagon was pulling away, jostling on its rickety wheels down the coblestone streets of old Paree without Kim holding onto the back of it, her knuckles white as the center stripe in the French flag. That's what they were wondering about, she knew, and she didn't know how to tell them, "I'm not drunk!" without sounding like every sloshed sorority girl who just puked next to a tree on the sidewalk. She can't tell them. She has made too many mistakes for telling. She has to show. She just has to get it together, to show them all that she was doing what she told them, she was mending her life, she was making it better.
And the fireworks started with a bang and a flash that resolved to a sizzle. One after the next, in the air, casting strange and temporary shadows all around them. Everyone oohed and ahhed, laughed and put their arms around each other. They vocalized their delight, they drew others into their happiness, to be up on this balcony with the summer wind dusting their hair, tickling their shoulders. Kim started out into the red festivities but she couldn't chuckle or cry. She could barely stand up, she could barely concentrate on everyone around her. She was trying to figure out a way to grasp all that sparkle, and hold it in her hand.
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[Photo Credit: Bravo]
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Hayek Vies For a Rock: Jack Donaghy's rock, to be specific. Salma Hayek will appear on the Jan. 31 series finale of 30 Rock, reprising her Season 3 role as Elisa, a women Jack almost married. Also returning is Julianne Moore as Nancy, who also has quite the scandalous romantic past with Jack. May the best woman win? [EW]
Curing a Hangover With Mixology: The writers behind The Hangover (Jon Lucas and Scott Moore) are mixing up a pilot order for ABC for a high-concept single-camera comedy that follows a group of singles over the course of one night. Mixology takes place in a sexy Manhattan bar while the main characters search for love... or lust, all in one night. [THR]
Trading In His Scalpel For a Badge: Castle's annual February sweeps two-part episode has recruited Dylan Walsh for a huge role. The Nip/Tuck alum will play Agent Harris, an even-keeled FBI investigator who works with Rick and Kate when a murder investigation exposes a plot to kidnap the daughter of a wealthy Middle Eastern businessman. “Our two-parters are always about big tension with personal stakes, so we have a story that we like," showrunner Andrew Marlowe says. "[I'm] not quite ready to advertise what it’s going to be, but we’re excited about it and I think it has some fun twists and turns.” [TVLine]
Cold Justice To Heat Summer 2013: TNT has ordered eight episodes of an unscripted procedural drama from Law &amp; Order boss Dick Wolf. Cold Justice follows Texas prosecutor Kelly Siegler and Yolanda McClary, a crime-scene investigator for the Las Vegas Police Department, as they help local law-enforcement agencies in small towns across the country solve violent crimes that have sat cold because of lack of funding and proper forensic technology. The partners will take on a different case each week, re-examining the evidence and questioning suspects and witnesses to finally solve the dormant cases. Cold Justice is slated for late summer 2013. [The Wrap]
Coach Sue Gets Anger-y: Seems like Coach Sue might take a hiatus from the halls of McKinley High to deal with her anger issues. Jane Lynch may guest-star on Charlie Sheen's FX sitcom Anger Management, the star revealed at Fox's winter TV preview event Tuesday night. "We have Jane Lynch coming on, maybe," Sheen told reporters. Lynch recurred as Dr. Linda Freeman, Sheen's therapist, for nine seasons on Two and a Half Men, earning her an Emmy nomination. No word yet on when she might appear. [TV Guide]
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Troubled by unfortunate event after unfortunate event The Watch sidesteps faux pas to come out on top as a consistently funny sci-fi comedy that doesn't let its high concept tangle up a bevy of one-liners. The script penned by Jared Stern Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg assumes you've seen a few movies before entering the theater (mainly any sci-fi movie made in the 1980s). "Summer movie logic" is the foundation for The Watch's ridiculous plot which finds four adult nincompoops teaming up to form a Neighborhood Watch trying to solve the murder of a local Costco employee and eventually pursuing a killer extraterrestrial. Instead of making sense of it all The Watch wisely focuses on its four leads: Ben Stiller Vince Vaughn Jonah Hill and The IT Crowd's Richard Ayoade — a quartet whose bro banter goes a long way in spicing up the dust-covered material. There's nothing revelatory to be found in The Watch but the cast's knack for improv a poetry of the profane makes the adventure worth…viewing.
Director Akiva Schaffer (Hot Rod) establishes his two-dimensional characters quickly and bluntly smashing together broad personality types like a Hadron Collider of cinematic comedy. Stiller's Evan is a micromanaging do-gooder who can't find time for his wife; Hill's Franklin is a mildly disturbed weapons enthusiast yearning to join the police; Ayoade is the quaint weirdo who joins the Watch to fill the void left by his divorce; Vince Vaughn is Vince Vaughn: a loud crass gent looking for a bit of male bonding. The ragtag team assembles to fight crime but they spend most of their time drinking beers in a minivan — an affair they dub "stakeouts." A perfect opportunity for banter.
For a movie about enforcing the law and alien invasions there's a surprising lack of action in The Watch. Long stretches of the film see the central players yapping back and forth about everything: Russian nesting dolls peeing in cans or the similar viscosities of alien goo and human excrement. Charisma goes a long way and Vaughn does much of the heavy lifting making up for lost time out of the spotlight (he's been virtually nonexistent since 2005's Wedding Crashers). The man spits out jokes like no other — the rest of the cast barely keeps up. Ayoade balances out Vaughn's bombardment with a tempered timed delivery that's uniquely British and rarely found on the American big screen. Even when nothing's happening in The Watch it's rarely boring.
The Watch is at its best when it goes a step further mixing the group in with outsiders and throwing them off their rhythm. Billy Crudup cuts loose as a creepy neighbor and its delightfully weird while the always-impressive Rosemarie DeWitt as Evan's wife Abby brings unexpected warmth to the couple's relationship. Sadly The Watch mishandles its greatest asset: the aliens. The film never finds a pitch perfect blend of comedy and science fiction (Ghostbusters or Galaxy Quest this is not); a few scenes where the two come together hint at the best possible scenario but more often than not The Watch avoids its sci-fi roots. A moment in which the guys haul a dead alien back to their man cave plays like an E.T.-inspired version of The Hangover credits. It's lewd and ridiculous but the rest of the film struggles to maintain that energy.
Stiller Vaughn Hill and Ayoade have all proved themselves able funnymen capable of taking weak and tired material up a notch which they're forced to do in every moment of The Watch. Schaffer can handle his talent but his direction isn't adding anything to the mix. By the third slow-motion-set-to-gangster-rap scene The Lonely Island member's obsession with non-cool-coolness is officially just an attempt at being cool (which is not all that funny). The Watch has a greater opportunity than most comedy blockbusters to go absolutely bonkers: it's rated R. But instead of taking its twist and running with it the movie plays it safe. In this case safe is non-stop jokes about the many facets of human reproduction.