Top 10 Gayest Moments

Despite amazing leaps forward in pop culture during the 70's, gay and lesbians still more often than not were depicted in (at best) stereotypical and (at worst) offensive manners on movies and television. Charlie's Angels, despite a huge gay fan base, sadly was no exception. After careful scientific analysis with some of the top psychologists, doctors and cultural media commentators in the world... ok, that's a dirty lie, I watched a few episodes and compiled what I feel is the list of the ten gayest moments of Charlie's Angels. And yes it's Kanu, and it's Maxine not Max little chicken...

#10 FUSCHIA + MAGENTA = FABULOUS

Kris and Kelly are able to con their way onto a professional ice skating team by simply complimenting Alvin on his fashion and cologne. Because you know, compliment a gay man's fashion and fragrance, and all his professional integrity and common sense go all out the window. On a positive note, at least he was a professional choregrapher with apparently some measure of success and he kinda seemed to half ass feel sorry for Kris so...

BACKGROUND CHECK

Townsend Agency original article by Greg
August 28, 2012

#9 A HOLE IN ONE

I know I know, neither Jamie Lee Curtis' character nor Kris were supposed to be lesbians in Winning is for Losers, but the episode is about women's professional golf AND it features Jamie Lee Curtis. These things simply can't be ignored. Well they can be ignored, but they will be celebrated here! Plus extra lesbian points for the testosterone-fueled battle to the death Kris had wresting a freakin alligator to protect her “friend”. We have seen a few Angel friends (most annoying) and we have seen some in jeopardy, but never has say Sabrina's friend Angela or Kelly's friend Sally received the type of fierce protection that Jamie Lee was afforded by Ms. Munroe. Most of Kris' other friends introduced on the show end up dead buried under a sandcastles but not Jamie Lee...

#8 MORE LIKE GAY CORDUROY

Episode: Angels on the Run
Gay cliché: Bitchy dishy queen (who is also a dressmaker)
Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Totally intentional
Positive or Negative Portrayal: Both

While searching for clues/witnesses to solve the case during Season 2's Angels on the Run, Kris comes across “Roger” the dress maker while dining at Rosie's Chili. Not only does Roger have the gayest name ever, but he's a dress maker (natch) and of course a a big ol gossip. Kris doesn't have to so much pump him for info (don't) it's more like she sits next to the info geyser and allows it to wash over her. This was one of those times where being a clichéd nosey dishy gay man served the Angels (and humanity) well, as Roger saw what happened and had no problem telling folks. Of course this being a Charlie's Angels script, the writers could not help but find a way to subtly insult Roger's implied sexuality via a cheap shot from Kris. When Roger compliments Kris' looks and says she would look wonderful in a new gray corduroy pantsuit he just designed, Kris responds by saying she thinks HE would look good in it. He's gay, not a drag queen, Kris. Bitch.

#7 IF I CAN'T HAVE A FARRAH 'DO, NEITHER CAN YOU

In Lady Killer, former Feline Paula ends up being a crazy serial killer of blonde centerfolds. It turns out that Paula, after a tragic car accident that scarred her face and burned her hair off, lost her mind and decided the best way to make sure other centerfolds avoided a similar fate was to kill them. While Paula didn't seem to be set up as a clichéd lesbian character, she did have a very gay moment with Jill - when Paula drugs and pets the blonde Angel's hair, Jill seems uncomfortable and flinches. The big reveal at the end? That Paula wears a wig and is really bald and scarred. This reveal should have been that she was really a man in drag 4 seasons before Angel On the Line did it, because becoming a murderer of blonde haired centerfolds simply because you had your hair burned off in an accident is such a demented drag queen thing to do!

#6 IF IT'S NOT ME, IT'LL BE THEM

Big Aggie was scary. She steals Kris' money and perfume (in prison) and hammers home the point time and time again that Kris is hers if she wants her. She pretty much sums up the clichéd aggressive prison bull dagger so often portrayed in those soft porn prison exploitation flicks in the 70's. Aggie was big and mean and ugly and scary, but on a positive note she did help mastermind a behind-the-bars theft ring for a while, so at least she was motivated.

Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina. You were the only married Angel (twice!) yet for some reason you always found yourself in suspect and/or compromising positions that at best made you seem asexual. Well, just watch every interaction in this episode with rival football coach Ms Julia Smyth with a Y. What the director was going for in their odd, intense drawn-out scenes together is unclear, but what seemed to come across was a TV version of Personal Best (look it up!)

#4 A PRETTY LITTLE NECK

Angels in Springtime sums up every negative cliché concerning lesbians that so often appeared on Charlie's Angels and television in general in the 70's. Kelly barely unpacks her bags when creepy Dr. Slavin is already making moves on her, complimenting her beauty and quasi feeling her up, all the while attempting to drug and blackmail her. So although they were depicted as creepy, aggressive, violent lesbians who preyed on their guests of their spa, Slavin was able to do her thing while her partner-in-crime and partner-in-flannel-shirts Zora watched through a peep hole, so a couple points for multitasking? By the way Zora, a spiritual sister to Big Aggie is the only character on the series run to ever back hand an Angel in the face. Of course it was Kris.

#3 INFLAMED DANCING SPACEMAN

It was just annoying. Not only did this moment occur during one of the worst episodes of the series run (Toni's Boys - which I'm sorry but the very idea of 3 male “Angels” seemed gay as hell) but when Kris witnesses the dancing spaceman... well, I think that was horror and disgust she was trying to convey, not embarrassment. Nothing worse than a gay stripper who can't freaking dance.

#2 MAN, THIS NIGHTCLUB IS A DRAG

I say the only type of drag queen worth her pumps is a psychotic drag queen, but hey, that's just me. Most drag queens are indeed psychotic but they tend to leave it all on the dance floor. Not Margo. The thing is... Margo actually was more of a female impersonator than a drag queen. And she actually seemed to successfully fool people and live life as a woman even though she was so obviously a man... in drag. Seasoned detective Kelly was fooled and terrified and helpless when dealing with a mannish drag queen. Margo was made helpless once she fell into a puddle because as you know, drag queens lose all psychotic power once their stocking is torn and mascara runs. Sigh to the 100th power.

#1 ODDLY YES, I WAS JUST SPRAYED YESTERDAY

Angels in Chains is one of the most popular, defiantly most infamous episodes of the series run. Talk about a high concept idea, “Angels go to prison” - from that very pitch lesbian tones organically arise out of the situation. And the producers knew it. Max (Maxine) is the corrupt lead prison guard that famously sprays the Angels upon their arrival at Pine Parish prison. Just in case the lesbianesque nature of her character was not apparent from that scene, and a comment she makes about how hot Jill is, she also goes out of her way to correct a male colleague who leers at her and calls her Max. “It's Maxine”. We know your name is Maxine, Max. Because you're a girl. You know a character is supposed to be gay when they have to keep reminding you that they have a girl's name, so indeed must be female. I am not a yo-yo!

-By the way Zora, a spiritual sister to Big Aggie is the only character on the series run to ever back hand an Angel in the face. Of course it was Kris.

-Of course this being a Charlie’s Angels script, the writers could not help but find a way to subtly insult Roger’s implied sexuality via a cheap shot from Kris. When Roger compliments Kris’ looks and says she would look wonderful in a new gray corduroy pantsuit he just designed, Kris responds by saying she thinks HE would look good in it. He’s gay, not a drag queen, Kris. Bitch.

-Kris and Kelly are able to con their way onto a professional ice skating team by simply complimenting Alvin on his fashion and cologne. Because you know, compliment a gay man’s fashion and fragrance, and all his professional integrity and common sense go all out the window. On a positive note, at least he was a professional choregrapher with apparently some measure of success and he kinda seemed to half ass feel sorry for Kris so…

-We have seen a few Angel friends (most annoying) and we have seen some in jeopardy, but never has say Sabrina’s friend Angela or Kelly’s friend Sally received the type of fierce protection that Jamie Lee was afforded by Ms. Munroe.

-Seasoned detective Kelly was fooled and terrified and helpless when dealing with a mannish drag queen. Margo was made helpless once she fell into a puddle because as you know, drag queens lose all psychotic power once their stocking is torn and mascara runs. Sigh to the 100th power.

Jamie Lee Curtis was born to play a “golfer” 😉 I personally feel every character she plays is secretely gay.

P.S. I can’t believe Beamish didn’t make the list. You KNOW that old hag was a lesbian. Why do you think she always wanted to put poor little Kelly in the closet!

Daniel Selby

Hilarious and great!

Jswan7088

Fantastic!@ But I think you guys left 1 incident out… That would be Mr. Walker, from “Little Angels of the Night”, who tries to pay Kris $100 bucks for giving him advice on how to deal with his nagging “wife”, Lawrence… “It’s Common law, of course”… James Mitchell, the actor who portrayed this character, was a staple part of the cast of All My Children for 30 years, and was gay in real life… Loved the extensive notes 🙂

Ray

I’m thinking we can count Mr. Walker (from “Little Angels of the Night”) and Beamish as 10A and 10B… hey it worked for Kelly and Kris when they infiltrated Twilliger’s Twenty race as “contestants 20A and 20B”!

Another addition would be the gay secretary to the murder victim in Unidentified Flying Angels from Season #2.

sgs

Toni’s Boys had Tiffany locked her Boy, the model, into her closet. That was a gay innuendo too!

Len Conner

I had to come back to this article because I had to share what I feel was the gayest episode. It is “Mr. Galaxy”, not because it featured oiled-up muscular men in speedos, but because the main two body builders appeared in 70s gay porn. Roger Callard appeared in both print and video gay porn for Colt Studios under the stage name “Stacy”. The other also appeared with the stage name Jean Claude in a Colt video with Roger called Lodestar.

Greg Jurick Blackshear

Wish I could still give u a halo for that lconner! Now I HAVE to go see what your talking about. Well done man.!

Len Conner

I’ll take the halo thought anyway….Funny to think about it now though. Plus the fact that Roger guest starred on our other favorite show…Wonder Woman. Too bad he didn’t go for the trifecta with The Bionic Woman.

pnyc1969

For me, Bionic Woman is my “other favorite”. Wonder Woman comes in 3rd for me, largely because while I love the war era episodes, I am not too taken by the contemporary era episodes. Bionic Woman is fabulous. Great writing and acting. And Jaime is a natural fit for Kelly people. They’re both orphans, they both like kids and they both had bad experiences with planes.

Heather

Greg, I love all of your articles so much!!! They are so funny and always make me laugh. AND IT’S BEEN A WHILE WITHOUT AN UPDATE. KINDA KILLING ME HERE. Do you by any chance know when the website will be updated?!?! Do you have the power to write any more articles and upload them????? It would be much appreciated by SOOOO many fans!!!! Please please please, an episode guide, an article…anything……. Tell me you guys were just a taking a little break but are about to get back to it!!! Also, the addition of some new youtube videos would be smashing :)))) Thank you so much for everything, I adore this website very very much

Greg Jurick Blackshear

Awww that really made my day. I really want to update the site and write new articles as well. I’m going to see what I can do. The Admin o this site now helps run her own company so I can absolutely understand why there have been no updates but I’m going to see what I can do. thank you so much for the kind words. I don’t do this myself, Anna and Holly do as much if not more writing on here than I do. Plus they design everything. They are so good at it that they started their own graphic design company which takes up a bunch of their time. Maybe if they see this?

Heather

I’m so glad to hear that you like to hear from fans because I didn’t want to bother you 🙂 And I’m very glad to hear that you are hoping to write more articles! I love Anna and Holly’s articles as well, but for a long time I didn’t know how to reach out to anyone. I emailed them on the ‘contact’ page on this website, but I didn’t get a reply. (I know they must be extremely busy. Real life does have to happen sometime, I suppose 😉 ) That’s great to hear that they have their own business, this website is AMAZING!!! And please do see what you can do, I would appreciate it tremendously!!!! Any little update would just make my year :). And this is probably an odd question, but do you know if they ever add new writers to the website? Because if there is some possibility of submitting a trial article or anything of the like to this site, you know I would definitely be jumping on that chance! I have a few ideas that I’ve really been wanting to write for a while. If that’s not a possibility, no harm done, I’ll just be looking forward to any updates from the brilliant writers that you guys are. Thank you so much for everything! I hope there’s good news in the future for this brilliant site!

Kellyfan123

How about “Angel in a hole?”
* You didn’t know your own son!
* I only tries to get him to be what he was.
* He was quiet, gentle, caring. He painted beautiful pictures. He wrote beautiful poetry.
* I didn’t. . . leave. . . him.
* He said, “I love you (Jill) because you let me be what I am.”

Heather

Do you you mean Angel in a Box?

Heather

Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina…In my opinion, the producers should have seen how her character was leaning toward an asexual, and/or lesbian type…and they should have ran with it, and started including that a bit more! The gay fan base would have, I’m sure, appreciated it. But I guess it was the1970’s…women being P.I.s was pushing it enough.

Wholahay Brown

LOL you do not like Kris tho!!! hahahaha! I Live for Kris. I loved this article!!!

D.B. Cooper

Are you scared, Beamish?

Steve

I always wanted to know the name of the actress that played Beamish. Or was she just the lighting director’s mother? I could never find her name credited anywhere…and I’ve looked.
She gave a mean stink-eye though.

Ray

How about the live-in “secretary” (more like “houseboy”) of the lady who disappeared in “Unidentified Flying Angels”? The woman’s little dog hated him, Bosley asked him not to cry when he was confronted the checks he wrote on the woman’s account wouldn’t clear, and let’s not forget that fabulous caftan he wore!