Thursday, July 8, 2004

Changing The Litter In The Boone Box

Can low-carb communion bread be far behind? Does the Atkins symbol in a sanctuary constitute a graven image?

I have enough urgency in my life without gas station credit card machines demanding that I "remove card quickly."

Is the hand sanitizer phenomenon one big, biohazardous hoax? Will we soon discover, as the Seinfeld characters did about the fat-free frozen yogurt that really wasn't, that we've been had? Are teeny, tiny, little bacteria fraternities doing the backstroke in this goo? I feel dirty just broaching the subject.

George W. Bush - Dick Cheney + John McCain = (4)more years

And finally, as the first half of the baseball season ends with the Texas Rangers leading the American League West, I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Armageddon.

5 comments:

It appears that elections, even national elections are just glorified beauty pageants. (I enter as Exhibit "A," Your Honor," John F. Kerry's pride in the hair of the democratic ticket.) Well, if this is indeed the case, why do we even have running mates? Why doesn't the runner-up fulfill the duties of the position should the winner become incapacitated or unable to perform their duties? It would really make the election season interesting. Further, if the duties of the vice-president are somewhat lame now, can you imagine what they would be like in that scenario?

Bush: "Sorry there Gore-boy. You're gonna have to attend a state funeral for prime-minister Mexican President Fox's guppy. The plane's are in the detail shop so you'll have to leave the driving to Greyhound. By the way, pick me up a hammock in Matamoros."

Boone- you are a riot. We've gone to low-carb communion bread in our church and have collectively lost 394 pounds...I don't know if was the switch or from our baptismal service last week where we baptized 763 people.

Nothing is worse than the rumor that states: "if you use hand sanitizer, it is actually killing the cells that protect you from disease." Does that mean all these years of handwashing is one day going to take it's toll and hand sanitizer is just speeding up the process? How can we go on?