It honestly scares the h3ll out of me to think there are people like this out walking the streets... reminds me of when, as a 5-6 year old, I was always surprised to see a teacher out in public somewhere -- but I was FIVE! Pretty sure I wasn't picking up the phone to find a neurologist - or, ya know, driving or any of those other potentially deadly things that adults can do! :rolls eyes and makes plans to never leave the woods again:

My husband always insists you must be making these stories up because no patient could possibly say these things. But they really do! This is one I've even heard myself.... I had an inpatient blow up at me because my attending was gone for a few days on vacation (I was doing most of the work anyway). It was over the Christmas holidays too... how dare he want to spend Christmas with his family??

On the eve of my own vacation, I am getting the same type of thing, one guy wants me to delay and meet with him tomorrow morning. Hey I am not that important and I would, but my wife is that important and she deserves her vacation.

The doctor I went to when I was a kid lived in his office. Seriously. His office was in his house - he lived in one part and the office was in the other. When I got a little older I worked for him doing filing and things like that, and his cat would wander around the waiting room, I could smell whatever was being cooked for dinner, and his wife would bring me their household garbage and ask me to take it to the curb on my way out. I never cared much for his wife. He was pretty cool, though.

We are going on vacation next week. My husband is required to have his work cell phone with him at all times...24 hours a day, 365 days a year. I might accidentally forget to pack the phone charger...

Read tips for picking a doctor recently on a "major" news outlet and they suggested that if a doctor refuses to give you his personal cell phone number and answer you whenever you call, you should find another doctor. WTH?! I no more expect my doctor to answer calls after hours than I do a banker, lawyer or even priest. Have options available for what I think I need during off-hours? Certainly. But answer phone calls personally? Never.

"I'm so sorry you feel that way. Would you like the phone number for the office of Dr. Robot? Dr. Robot has no physical needs other than needing to recharge its batteries for an hour each night. Its only available from 0100 to 1100 but there is a backup robot physician in case of emergencies."

The last time I left town was to go out of the country on a mission trip. When patients started to get testy as to why I wasn't available I let them know where I was and for what reason. That shut them up pretty fast.

When I worked in retail pharmacy, I had gone on vacation for a week. Upon returning, I was ringing up a patient, who told me he thought I'd been fired or transferred since I was gone. I told him I had been on vacation, to which he responded, "I didn't know they let you guys do that!" Um, hello!!! I'm a person like you and I get to do that too!

"You'll see! I'll find a doctor who really, truly cares about me and can appreciate me for the beautiful person that I am, and who won't leave town and change his phone number, like both my husbands did! One who won't block my calls, like my parents! One who won't take out a restraining order against me, like my sister! Just you wait!"

"And by the way, your office could be a lot more user-friendly. I had to call every Mary with your last name in the Grumpyville phone directory before I finally found your home number, and some of those people were really rude about being woken up at 3 am. What if I really were having a stroke, instead of just telling the phone company I was so they would give me your unlisted number?"

Oh, how insane! But Kim is right, a lot of employers are no better. My BIL's workplace wants to institute a policy where, if you go on vacation, you must be available to return to the office within 24 hours, at your own expense. Honestly, it's like the whole concept of someone having a personal life is totally alien....

This sort of entitlement isn't practiced solely by physicians' patients. A client of mine was furious that his financial rep took two weeks to return his call because the rep was on vacation. I said, Well you knew he was on vacation, right? Sure, the client said, but he figured that meant a day or two at most, not TWO WHOLE WEEKS! What would these people do if they lived in Europe where everyone disappears for the entire month of August?

I have my psychiatrist's home number and cell phone number, but I have known him for twenty years, and when he gave them to me I was going through medication withdrawal and other very unpleasant things and I think that he felt (correctly) that I would only use them in case of a REAL emergency; indeed I've never called him.

But I would never EXPECT a doctor to do this, even if I had known him twenty years!

Good for Mary for sticking up for herself and for very very gently telling the woman that no, you are not Nightcrawler and cannot just "bampf" in from California. And good for you for teaching Mary that. Can I borrow Mary so I can clone her? She sounds pretty damn awesome.

Whoa, Nellie! That virtual or plastic neurologist that works at your office has life?

Some people just don't think their thoughts through thoroughly. How could she question this if she has a sense of reality, or maybe she thinks doctors have little devices on their wristwatches that enable long-distance contact with all their patients.

I mean, how are you going to arrange for your parents, wife and children to take a cruise vacation or any vacation without leaving the office?

I have never known anyone to be able to take a trip to anywhere on a ship without actually going to a body of water.

Do you live in that kind of town in Grumpyville, that people take their vacations virtually without leaving the comfort of their living room couch?

Or, maybe the ex-potential patient lives in a castle where everyone and everything comes to her door at her command.

Same attitude with nurses "She was just sitting there EATING! Can you believe that? Some people are just here for a paycheck" Uh, yeah, so selfish of me to keep my blood sugar level so I can actually think about what I am doing to you!!Anyway, you could just let her know what you charge for a full time personal physician.

Ahh! this reminds me of when I worked at a retail pharmacy that closed for 30 minutes everyday for lunch, once during the 12 hour shift, mind you. Customers were IRATE that the pharmacist dare go on lunch! And why could I just go and get their prescription and sell it to them?! Well, same time every day and it's on the sign folks, just come any of the other 11 hours and 30 minutes of the day.

I have but one word for that idiot: dumbf*ck. My doc goes on vacation periodically, and I'm glad for her when she does! She works long hard hours, and I figure a rested, happy doc is a GOOD thing for her patients!

same reason as when patients were pissed off that the pharmacy was closed since pharmacist had to go to lunch (um...we have to eat too?!?). good thing they didn't get mad that we have to close because the only pharmacist on duty got injured and had to go to urgent care...

Welcome to my whining!

This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.

Singing Foo!

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