Naked at Our Age - Joan Price - Sex & Aging Views & News

We are talking out loud about senior sex, celebrating the joys and addressing the challenges of sex and aging. Joan Price is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty. This blog presents senior sex news, views and reviews: reader questions; expert tips; and reviews of sex toys, books, and films that interest sex-positive Boomers, seniors, and elders. Join us!

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Erotic Electro-stimulation is the new wave of sex toy. It
takes the TENs unit that physicians, chiropractors, and physical therapists have used for many
years and with some modification, applies that to the exquisite nerve-endings
of our erogenous areas.

Recently, Hella Walkington from ElectraStim, one of the premier providers of electro-stimulation, contacted me about doing
an independent review of two new products: the Silicone Noir probes and the SensaVox
Stimulator/Power Box. I enlisted my loyal cadre of testers, three men and
three women, and we went into action.

The SensaVox (pictured above) was
a source of pleasure for all my testers. For male bodies, it can be used with
penis bands and prostate stimulators. Each man tried the box with the
penis rings, anal probe and sticky electrodes. Each woman used both probes and
electrodes.

The results were amazing. All my testers praised the new
Sensavox. Here’s what they loved:

The box has a wide variety of pulse patterns and
intensities.

It has several new features like the Boost
button which gives an extra burst of energy.

There are
two channels so you can have one set of electrodes stimulating one location and
a second set stimulating another. For example, an anal probe can be plugged
into one channel while two electrodes can be attached to send pulses through
the penis and perineum.

Aura probe

The SensaVox has a much greater range than the previously
reviewed EM60. It begins with very gentle stimulation but goes up from there
slowly until it enters the stratosphere. Even at its highest intense settings,
it’s still a pleasurable kind of pulse form and pattern.

The probes are aesthetically pleasing, Matte black with
unobtrusive holes for the small pin plugs, they are gentle and soft to the
touch, perfect for the sensitive skin of the vulva or anus. The Aura Multi-Probe felt comfortable
entering. It took a higher level of stimulation for the tester to experience
pleasure. Reinserting with the leads perpendicular to the g-spot location
afforded more sensation for the female-bodied testers.

The Silicone Noir Lula Electro Kegel Balls probe provided the peak of pleasure for the women
who tested them. Lula consists of two small balls, one of which is tightly
captured in an upper sphere of black silicone. There is a short neck and at the
other end another enveloping sphere with another ball. The second ball is loose
inside and it reacts to the pulses and patterns from the stimulator. With the moving balls providing vibrations, each of the women reported the absolute
pleasure of this probe.

Lula is being used as a Kegel exerciser by many women. With
the proper depth of insertion and combination of e-stim, Lula can aid in
developing the pelvic floor muscles.

These are just two of the five Silicone Noir probes
available. In retrospect I wish I had requested the Silicone Noir Sirius Prostate Massager and the Silicone Noir Ovid G-Spot Dildo as well. They look like they are
designed with pleasure in mind!

There is much to like in the ElectraStim line of products. They are user friendly in small ways:

They use the standard connector for cables to
plug into the Stimulator/Power box. This connector has advantages over the less
expensive but often used 3.5mm plug.

They
use pin plugs at the electrode ends of the cable. This is less messy and, in
the midst of passion, simpler than banana plugs or snap connectors. Sticky
electrodes are less expensive if they come with pin plug connectors.

I
have found ElectraStim customer service to be very responsive.

If you haven’t yet decided to try e-stim, you are missing a delightful
option in your sex life. E-stim should be as ubiquitous as the vibrator. It
provides a level of sexual stimulation that is hard to match in a simpler sex
toy. While the cost of entry can be daunting, ElectraStim and others
provide an entry level power unit for a reasonable price. The probes, penis
bands, and sticky electrodes are comparable to other dildo prices. If you have a little income to spare, you probably can’t do better than the SensaVox. But, if you need to watch the finances more closely, the EM-80 dual-channel or the EM-60 are also good options.

If you are loving yourself, give yourself a gift of the Sensavox. If you also have a partner to love, find the e-stim toys that will bring you together “magnetically.”

David M. Pittle, Ph.D., M.Div., is a therapist in San Rafael, CA, who has been helping people
with sexual issues for over thirty years. Many of his clients are age 50-80,
when good sex is important, and dissatisfaction may lead to loss of shared
intimacy that can threaten the total relationship. David specializes in helping
women who are not experiencing sexual satisfaction and men with non-medical and
medically-related erectile dysfunction or other issues. Visit his website here.

EB: A variety of drugs are being investigated in clinical
trials, most in phase 2 trials. No drug has been approved for the treatment of
low desire for women, also known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). See this summary of the current state of the research.

JP: How are these drugs supposed to
work?

EB: Some of these drugs work on brain chemicals; some are sex hormone-based (testosterone); others primarily work to increase physical arousal through an increase in blood to the clitoris. Most of the
medications that are being investigated are designed to either overcome
inhibition or lack of motivation, or flood the person with such strong physical
sensations that she cannot ignore them easily. Or they manipulate the reward
system of the brain in ways that increase
the drive toward that sexual jackpot.

The question is whether a drug that pushes a woman into
being more interested in sex is safe, healthy, or would even be effective over
the long term. Many of the drugs being investigated have a variety of side
effects, and some are quite undesirable. Testosterone can cause excess hair
growth, acne, lowering of the voice, and a decrease in good cholesterol, for
example. Other drugs show the potential for abuse, either by the woman herself or
by a partner who hopes to have a more willing lover.

JP: Why is sexual desire so complicated for women and
seemingly so easy for men?

EB: It isn't, actually. Men have troubles with desire too,
and their issues have many of the same origins as women's do. However, we live
in a culture that reinforces men for a high interest in sex, and generally does
not see a high interest in sex to be a positive thing in women, unless a woman
is less interested in sex than her partner, and that lower interest causes
tension between them or distress in her. But even with culture condoning high
desire for men, approximately 20% experience low desire. For more info, here isa good overview.

JP: How does female desire work?

EB: Desire is the cognitive recognition of sexual
interest. So it's an idea, not a physiologic process, though it results in a combination
of brain and body responses. Desire may be first recognized as a thought, or it
may be a thought in response to a physical feeling. Many women believe that we
should feel something first, that sex starts with a twinge in the vulva or
elsewhere in the body, that she interprets as sexual interest and then allows
to blossom into more sexual interest and then maybe into sexual activity. If physiologic
signal is not as obvious because of aging, health, or stress, she may no longer
get the signal, and so she does not notice the thought.

Women who have experienced sex as painful have a feedback
loop that tells them that sex will hurt, and so they shut off any thought of
sex to avoid the pain. If a woman is able to get rid of the pain, she will
still have to convince her subconscious that sex is safe. Once she does that,
her thoughts of sexual interest often become more frequent.

The same would be true of relationship health. For a woman
in a healthy, rewarding relationship, the thought of sex is a safe thought and
is likely to mean that she will experience pleasure if she acts on that
thought, so she pursues sexual activity. Sex requires the feeling of safety. When
there is tension, distrust, fear, anger, etc., the mind does not perceive sex as
safe or pleasurable, so will not express desire.

When you think about how complicated desire is for women
(and men as well), you can see that it's pretty complicated to consider a
medication to address the root causes of most of these issues.

JP: What’s the
bottom line?

EB: The bottom line
is that drugs do best when there is a single, knowable cause for a symptom and
the drug directly addresses that cause by reducing or removing it. Sexual
desire is complicated, varies a lot from person to person, and has many moving
parts. The idea that a drug could be developed to change desire is pretty
far-fetched once you understand it that way, and one of our biggest fears is
that you end up with a drug that has pretty wide effects and some nasty,
unintended side effects.

We would prefer to
address desire issues in ways that give individuals more control and more
understanding of their mind and body connections so that they can do their own
problem-solving and not be reliant on a pill or a doctor. Most people
can increase their experience of desire through a combination of getting
healthy, having a good body image, having a safe and trusting intimate
relationship, getting enough sleep, lowering stress and distractions, reducing
pain, and learning how to have pleasurable sexual experiences on a regular
basis.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

"How we write about love depends on how old we are," observes Daniel Jones in his Modern Love column in The New York Times, Feb. 5, 2015. He explains:

The young overwhelmingly write with a mixture of anxiety and hope. Their stories ask: What is it going to be for me?

Those in midlife are more often driven to their keyboards by feelings of malaise and disillusionment. Their stories ask: Is this really what it is for me?

And older people almost always write from a place of appreciation, regardless of how difficult things may be. Their message: All things considered, I feel pretty lucky.

This last point hit home with me. As a sex educator, I hear people's problems all the time. But I also hear the good parts -- the humor and joy and sweetness of what happens when we love at our age. Those of us who are lucky enough to have found love at this time of our lives are radiant with joy telling our love stories -- even if that joy is tempered with the sadness of loss.

I know I feel that way. On this Valentine's Day, I'm remembering how my dear Robert made Feb. 14 a true celebration of love for seven years with gifts, cards, whispered endearments, languid lovemaking, and lots of laughter.

As sad as I am that I will never hold Robert again on Valentine's Day or any other day, that feeling has nowhere near the power of the joy I feel that this love was in my life. It feels like a miracle that we ever found each at all, let alone so late in life.

Joan and Robert 2001

What if he had never wandered into my line dance class that eventful night? We might never have met, never have crossed paths.

What if I hadn't been assertive (aggressive?) about making the first moves? He was content to see me as his dance teacher (which in itself is bizarre, since he had formal training as a dancer since the age of two, and I had no formal training at all), and he thought that was an uncrossable boundary.

What if we had never realized one of the most important themes of our love story: that the ways we were the most different were the ways we most wanted to grow.

You see, at first, we saw our personality clashes and independence as proof that we were too different to ever come together as a couple -- it would be too much work, too many compromises, and besides, we were satisfied with the way we were, thank you very much.

Robert and Joan 2006

But over the few years we had together, this attitude changed. The closer we got, the more we came to respect our differences -- even laugh about them -- and the less we felt we needed to resist change. In fact, we discovered that compromise led to change in directions we each wanted to grow.

Once we saw our differences as an opportunity to grow in ways that would be as good for us individually as they were good for us as a couple, we stopped resisting, reframed what we were willing to do for each other, and we blossomed together and apart.

What did you learn about love and about yourself in later life? I hope you'll share your experiences.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Are you old enough to remember the ad for the Yellow Pages that started, "Let your fingers do the walking"? Then you'll understand me if I say, "Let your Mona Wave do the waving." This delightful and lovely penetrative vibrator does more than vibrate -- it gently wiggles forward and back to wave hello to your G-spot.

If moving fingers in your vagina are your idea of a fine time, this vibrator from Lelo comes close. The "waving" is supposed to simulate the "come hither" motion recommended to stimulate the G-spot. It sort of does that.

I like a lot about this sex toy:

Pros:

Beautiful design, well-made, curved for ease of G-spot stimulation.

10 patterns with adjustable intensity. You can get the vibrations + the wave, or the wave without vibrations, or the vibrations without wave. The patterns use different rhythms, from tap-tap to roller coaster.

Smooth, body-safe silicone materials.

Waterproof and rechargeable.

Waving motion feels darned good.

That's not to say it's perfect, though.

Cons:

Just try to see the controls without your reading glasses. You can tell by feeling the recessed area how to turn it off and on, but if you want to explore patterns or increase intensity, your lubed fingers will have no idea where to press. You'll have to turn it off, pull it out, put on your bifocals, and either change the setting or memorize where it is. I know that the lack of raised buttons and easy-to-feel markings make it easier to clean, but the trade-off is that it's harder to vary settings once you've started.

The vibrations are in the handle as well as in the insertable part. Holding it can irritate an arthritic wrist. Solution, once you have it where you wanted, let go. It will likely stay where it belongs, hands-free or at least hands-minimal.

If you clench your vagina, the waving transfers from the vibrator to the handle. Neither our vagina nor our hand wants that!

Lelo is overselling it by claiming that it gives "the orgasm to end all orgasms." First of all, it doesn't deliver that. Second, who'd want to "end all orgasms" anyway?

For me personally, the pros far outweigh the cons. I'll be enjoying this toy often!

Note: The diameter of the widest part is about 1.5". If you have discomfort with penetration and you prefer a slim toy, it may feel too large. If your vaginal entrance is tight, which is true for many women of our age, the abrupt size change and lack of tapering may be a problem.

You can purchase Mona Wave from Good Vibrationsin the US, or for international sales, visit Lelo. Lelo also puts the wave technology into a rabbit vibrator -- the Ina Wave -- which I haven't tried yet.

Friday, January 09, 2015

Have you wished for an easy, confidential way to get tested for sexually transmitted infections?

Now that huge numbers of sexually active seniors are engaging in relationships with new or multiple partners, shouldn't there be a way to get private testing without telling your family doctor or risking running into your grandson's girlfriend or boyfriend in the clinic waiting room?

Simply Awaresaw a need and filled it. They provide a confidential service that tests for gonorrhea and chlamydia ($99 includes both) with a mail-in urine sample and an at-home kit that tests for HIV ($39). There's also as much support as you need -- you can phone with your questions, or get an online followup consultation with a licensed physician, or simply ask for help and hand-holding while you take the tests.

"We started this business because unfortunately there is a stigma attached to STD testing that can make the process awkward and uncomfortable," Tom Peacock emailed me, introducing Simply Aware and offering to let me try it myself. I did. Here was my experience:

Gonorrhea and chlamydia test:

I signed up, and within just a few days received the test kit, along with a code which I would need to receive my results. Included was a sterile urine sample container, a biohazard bag, and a prepaid thermal shipping envelope.

All I had to do was pee into the container first thing in the morning (or, in my case, pee all over the container -- maybe you didn't want to know that), screw on the cap (extra step just for me: wash off the outside of the container), put the container in the bag and the bag in the shipping envelope, and pop it in a mailbox. Very simple.

A few days later, I checked in with my code and my results were ready. So easy!

HIV test:

At first glance, this test seemed complicated. There was a Rolodex-like collection of instruction cards and a tray that contained more information, a swab test stick, a capped test tube with liquid in it, and a pencil for marking down start and read times. I got nervous, especially with all the warnings in the instruction cards that if I didn't follow directions exactly, I would not get accurate results.

It turned out, though, once I started, that the directions were very simple and explained so clearly that making a mistake would be difficult indeed. I was to wait 30 minutes after eating, drinking, or using any oral hygiene products, swab my gums, put the swab stick in the test tube, and wait at least 20 and less than 40 minutes to view the results.

I was impressed that everything that was included -- even little holders for the test liquid and the swab.
I set a timer for 20 minutes, then checked my results: One line next to the "C" and no line next to the "T" means negative. One line next to the "C" and another next to the "T" means positive.

Mine was negative, but I wondered what the support phone line would tell me if it was positive. I phoned, explaining that I was writing a review of the service. The man who took my call said that in case of a positive result, he would explain the need to follow up with a blood test in a medical setting. A positive result on this test, in other words, means more testing is needed -- it doesn't mean that you're definitely HIV+. The instructions say this several times, too.

I was very impressed with every stage of this service, from the initial sign-up through the testing, the results, the support, and especially the ease of understanding everything.

Here's a video showing what's in the HIV test kit and how it works:

Please understand that these tests show your status as of three months ago, and that a negative result is only meaningful if you're using barrier protection with any partner other than someone with whom you've been in a long-term, sexually exclusive relationship.

So use safer sex precautions with new partners, non-exclusive partners, and partners whose other relationships or STI status you're not sure of. Not convinced? Please read the safer sex chapter in The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50!

Note: I welcome Simply Aware as a new advertiser on my blog. That does NOT mean that this review was a sponsored post in any way -- my review is completely honest (as all my reviews are). If I had not been impressed with the service, I not only would have said so, I also would have refused to accept Simply Aware as an advertiser. I only accept ads from companies that I endorse and recommend to you, and your trust is most important to me.

If you want information about the sexual changes, questions, and concerns you’re experiencing. The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty offers straightforward, nonjudgmental information and immediately useful tips, spiced with comments from my readers.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty delivers solid, practical information in a friendly, accessible style to help you -- whatever your gender or orientation, partnered or unpartnered -- enjoy your sexuality for the rest of your life.

Do you want your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50 now? Here are three ways to get it:

Order directly from Joan for an autographed copy with this PayPal button:

Autograph to [name]:

Buy from your local bookstore. They probably have it in stock; if not, ask them to order it.

I was so excited about the arrival of my books that I drove an hour and a half in gusty winds to the Cleis office to pick up the copies I ordered, rather than wait for shipping. I arrived to find Brenda Knight, the queen of Cleis Press, and the whole staff as excited as I was!

Monday, December 29, 2014

I'm putting together the final touches for the launch of
my BawdyLove program and I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in sharing
what I'm calling your "Bawdy Love origin story", or the moment(s)
where you decided you were done hating yourself and ready to work towards
loving yourself fully.

I didn't ever "hate" my body, but I didn't see it as beautiful or sexy through most of my teenage and adult years. I looked good in clothes, but naked, my body was far from the media's image of what a sexy female body should look like. My breasts have never been perky, not even as a teenager. They always flopped, and the older I get, the flatter and floppier they become.

But here's the strange thing: I love my body now more than I ever have. OK, you can tease me about my eyesight, but honestly, it isn't about what I look like -- it's what I feel like. and I feel like a beautiful, sensual, sexy woman at age 71. Here's how I got here:

1. When my great love Robert and I fell in love, he truly found me beautiful and told me so often. He and I had a morning routine, where he brought me coffee in bed, I let the covers slip from my breasts, he covered his eyes and stepped back as if dazzled by my beauty. This didn't just go one way -- I would drink in his body with my eyes and tell him, "You're the handsomest man in my world." Take-away point: If you're lucky enough to have a lover in your life, let each other know how sexy/ beautiful you find each other.
2. I discovered shaper bras that can give me the uplift and cleavage that my breasts don't have on their own, and that makes me feel confident in sexy, revealing clothing. Take-away point: Shop for underwear and outerwear that show off your body to the best advantage. Put the accent on revealing rather than covering up.3. I did a lingerie shoot with a photographer at age 65, and I enjoyed it so much that I repeated the experience at age 68. (Hmm, I'm due for another!) I learned so much from the experience of posing in lingerie and seeing the photos afterwards. Take-away point: Pose in lingerie if this intrigues you -- you'll discover that the camera reveals how sexy you are in ways you never saw on your own.

4. I realized that this body, whatever its age, is capable of giving me great sensual and sexual pleasure. What's sexier than that? I celebrate my body because of the sensations and the pleasure I get from it. I encourage you to do the same. Take-away point: Whether you're partnered or not, experience, enjoy and love your body's sexy gifts to you.
I asked followers of my Naked at Our Age Facebook page to comment about their own body image challenges. Here's what they said:

I turned 62 yesterday and of course never appreciated my young self's body. While I try to appreciate my current body, sagging breasts, stretch marks, and loose skin make my newly single sex life a challenge. The lights are out before sex and I don't dress or undress in front of him. He likes my body but I'm still not comfortable being naked in front of him.

I'm 55. I have been severely limited in expressing myself freely because I think I should be a smaller size. A friend who was heavier than me once said, "Men don't care what size you are as long as they can get it in there!" Too funny! I guess she could sense my fear was holding me back from meeting anyone. I have never been able to be that uninhibited about not being my ideal size. Hence, I have been alone a while now. I say I'll meet someone when I trim down.

How about also addressing the challenge of explaining scars from injuries and surgeries to a person not yet familiar with what adventures and misadventures you have survived? Along with the ethical quandary of a cancer survivor (with the scars to prove it) dating a person who lost their mate to cancer?

The most insecure I have been is after surgeries. Explaining your scars and exposing them is nerve wracking. Plus your body has been through a trauma and getting intimate after these events takes time from healing and a patient lover.

[from a therapist:] I frequently counsel with gorgeous women from 30-65+ who look at their body in the mirror and all they see is the tummy roll from child-bearing or their less than 34D bust. What I see is a woman who is physically, spiritually and emotionally beautiful, but just doesn't look like the Victoria's Secret models. You must love yourself before you can love others, and that includes your body.

To everyone of my age or any age: Please stop putting your life on hold. This is your body. Rejoice in its capacity to give you pleasure. If you're partnered, let your lover(s) see you fully enjoying your own body. If you're solo, celebrate your body's sensations. Sexy is an attitude.

Lauren Marie Fleming

I hope you'll comment with your own experience and viewpoint.

I encourage you to learn more about Lauren Marie Fleming's 10-week Bawdy Love program to help you "kick the habit of negative self-doubt and replace it with the practice of radical self-love." I know Lauren personally, and I encourage you to explore what she's offering.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)

Sunday, March 15, 2015, 2:30-3:30 pm: "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books, Student Union, Catalina room. Newly single and terrified of dating again? Afraid you forgot how to flirt? Not looking forward to going to a bar and getting picked up (or picking up) someone? Wondering whether you should try online dating, or can you still put a personal ad in the local rag? Ann Anderson Evans, author of Daring to Date Again, and Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, offer advice, insights and personal stories for people young and old looking to rekindle their love lives.

Use code JOAN for $10 off
reg

Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29, 2015: Elders Panel: “How Did We Get Here?"CatalystCon East, Hilton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, VA, moderated by Joan Price. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, and Terri Clark are lively and influential sex educators who have been activists for sexual expression and acceptance since the sixties and seventies. They’ll discuss these topics and more:

How we were expected to behave and hide when we were young, and what happened to those who didn’t;

What sexual awareness/ activism was like in the sixties and seventies;

Why the sexual liberation and feminist movements were so important then and still are now;

Why the younger generation(s) need to understand what our pioneers accomplished for us;

What generational riffs we see now and how we can bridge the gap together.

Learn about the history behind your sexual liberation, which would not have happened without the trailblazing efforts of people like our panelists.

Sunday, April 26, 2015, 9:45-10:45 am, Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! The Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Rd., Saint Louis, MO 63117-1003. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.

Monday, April 27, 2015, 6-8 pm, Brown Lounge, George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO, Joan Price talks to students and AASECT members about senior sex. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.

September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is the keynote speaker for the inaugural conferenceLet’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002, Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.

Ageless Sexuality. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross interview Joan Price about how sex changes as you age, what we can look forward to, and making this a time for breaking rules and discovering your own sexual fluidity. Hear the lively and outrageouspodcast here.

"Sex After 60" on the Colin McEnroe Show on NPR's WNPR, Connecticut, with guests Joan Price and Dr. Rafael Wurzel. Hear the podcast here.

Recently completed events:

Tuesday, February 3, 2015, 7 pm: Valentine's Day Lovefest with Joan Price at Copperfield's Books, 138 North Main Street, Sebastopol, CA 95472. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fiftyand sends you home with tips you can use right now to enhance your sexual pleasure, partnered or solo.

Thursday, February 5, 2015, 6:30 pm: Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty Book Party at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty. Come meet Joan in person and learn how to enjoy your sexuality for the rest of your life!

Friday,February 6, 2015, 7 pm: Joan Price at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. “Sex changes with aging, but for every problem, there is a solution,” says Joan Price, “senior sexpert” for the over-fifty population. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty delivers solid, practical information in a friendly, accessible style to help all genders and orientations, partnered or unpartnered, enjoy their sexuality for the rest of their lives. View Book Passage's Jan-Feb 2015 newsletter here.

Sunday, 2/15, 3-5 pm: Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401, winner of best vegetarian restaurant in Sonoma County from the North Bay Bohemian for four years in a row. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. No charge for Joan’s talk, but Gaia’s Garden requests $5 minimum in purchases: have lunch before or dinner afterwards, or enjoy desserts, wine, beer, coffee, tea, cacao, and more. Joan’s books will be available for sale before and after her talk. Bring your questions!

Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:30 am. Joan Price shares “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at the Oakmont Symposium, East Recreation Center, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. Open to Oakmont residents and invited guests. Audio of this presentation available here.

Thursday, Sept. 11 - Sunday, Sept. 14, 2014: CatalystCon West at Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. In Senior Sex: Lusting, Dating, and Mating, Joan Price shares what Boomers, seniors, and elders tell and ask her. She interweaves her own personal stories, from finding love in later life, to dealing with grief, learning how to date all over again, and re-emerging as a sexual being. For levity, Joan shares some of the oddest dating stories she’s been told. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!

Sunday, Sept. 14, 6-8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at The Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Free!

Friday, Sept. 19 - Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 4th Annual Sexuality, Intimacy & Aging Conference at Widener University, Chester, PA. In Sure, Ask Me Anything: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, Joan Price shares the questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. A medical issue that interferes with sexual enjoyment? Boredom with a partner? Dating woes? How to choose sex toys that work with arthritic wrists and slow arousal? Most questions are deeply moving pleas for help about issues that often are not shared with their doctors, therapists, or even life partners. Conference presented by the Sexuality and Aging Consortium.

Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 7-10 pm: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Lusting, dating and mating, OH MY! Whether you’re widowed, divorced, recently unpartnered, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other singles over 50 meet and mate (or try to). Singles only, all genders and orientations welcome. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Free gifts for all attendees! $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.

Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014, 2-5 pm: Sex after 50! A Women's Workshop at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Yes, we all want it! Sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be SIZZLING and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex. In addition, Joan will share the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, sharing the most common questions that people ask her. She’ll answer her answers in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the “Senior Sexpert”! Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age -- Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts for all. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.

Sunday, August 3, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Sebastopol, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the creeps and weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, condoms, and more. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will help you revise your online dating profile. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by July 28; $45 July 29-Aug 2. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Sunday, August 10, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, Women’s Workshop: Sex after 50 in Sebastopol, CA. Yes, sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex—with or without a partner. Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age – Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, and more. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will be available for private consultations. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by Aug. 4; $45 Aug. 5 - 9. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

April 11-13, 2014, Full Circle - the Art & Heart of Aging, a weekend festival in Burlington, VT. Full Circle is all about busting wide open the myths about aging and celebrating the journey to elderhood. The festival includes dance, theatre, art, comedy, music, and film as well as physical activities and interactive experiences, discussions, and workshops. .

April 23, 2014, Pleasure Chest New York - Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, NY, NY 10065, 6-8 pm. Sex after 50 with Joan Price. Yes, sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. We'll celebrate the joys and tackle the problems of older-age sexuality, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, and plenty of humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are 50 and above--or you plan to be--here’s everything you wanted to know. (All genders &orientations welcome.) Free!

November 1, 2013, "Getting Your Mojo Back: Sex Tips for Women over 50." Is your sex life dull, predictable, unsatisfying, nonexistent? Yes, sex after fifty has its challenges, but it can also sizzle. Joan Price offers new information, tools, and tips that help women over fifty maintain or regain a healthy, satisfying sex life – with or without a partner.presented by Joan Price and Remi Newman, Women's Night Out, Kaiser Permanente, 401 Bicentennial Way, Santa Rosa, CA Medical Building East, Conference Rooms E-3, E-4, E-5.

Nov. 8, 2013, 7 - 9 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating at our age feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? Joan Price helps you navigate online dating, evade the creeps and weirdos, and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction. When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re newly solo or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single Boomers and seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Free!Nov. 10, 2013, 2-4 pm, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren't working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? What if we don't have a partner? What if we don't feel desire for sex anymore? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For singles and couples, all genders and orientations. Free!

September 27- 29, 2013, “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at CatalystCon Westat the Warner Center Marriott, 21850 Oxnard Street, Woodland Hills, CA 91367. Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Joan shares the concerns that older adults raise about their changing sexuality, the challenges that they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the session, you’ll learn tips and strategies for working with older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.

June 8, 2013, 3:30-5:30, "Sex and Aging Out Loud" at the annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Hilton Miami Downtown, Miami, Florida. Presenter: Joan Price, MA. This session focuses on the challenges, delights, and shudders that come with writing and speaking about “senior sex.” Participants will discuss concerns that Boomers, seniors, and elders raise about their changing sexuality: the questions they ask, the challenges they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the workshop the presenter will offer tips and strategies for older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.

June 18, 2013, 11 am - 12:30 pm, Joan Price talks about senior sex to clinicians, Department of Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa. What did her Naked at Our Age interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears? Joan will identify the five major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers, yet that impact their health and quality of life. We'll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information, and discuss resources.

May 18, 2013, 1-4 pm, “Never Too Late! 5 Best Tips for Dating at Our Age” for singles. At Kama Sutra Closet, 451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. Joan Price gives us the new rules of dating at our age and tips for finding that special person. Her upbeat presentation will make you laugh and send you home with new hope -- and a new plan!

May 20, 2013, 6-8 pm: “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. : Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. You’ll be surprised! Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.”

May 5, 2013, 4 pm, Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St., San Francisco CA (between 9th and 10th ). What would it look like if talented writers over age 50 wrote erotica featuring steamy, sexy characters who were also over 50? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays presenting women and men, couples and singles, straight and gay, who are over 50, 60, 70, and beyond – all enjoying and sharing their erotic moments. Contributors Dale Chase, Linda Poelzl, Dorothy Freed, Donna George Storey, and Susan St. Aubin join Joan Price, Ageless Erotica editor, reading excerpts and discussing the idea of "senior erotica."

March 15-17, 2013: Joan Price speaks on Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at CatalystConEast at Crystal City Marriott at Reagan Airport,1999
Jefferson Davis Highway, Arlington, Virginia 22202. Joan Price shares
her spicy and often humorous experiences as an advocate for senior
sexuality. She talks frankly about the most interesting, surprising, and
provocative questions and concerns that seniors raise about their
sexuality, along with the special challenges and satisfactions of
blogging/talking/writing about senior sex.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Amazon Prime jolted me recently with two stellar offerings -- one series and one film -- that feature aging characters who don't fit any of the stereotypes. Both affected me profoundly, and I recommend them to you:

At 68, Mort (played masterfully by Jeffrey Tambor) comes out as a trans woman who wants to be called Maura. In this sweet, smart, and strongly acted ensemble series, we see the strengths and vulnerabilities of Mort/Maura and a family of ex-wife and three adult children -- who make a ton of relationship mistakes of their own.

This 10-episode series resolves many questions and leaves enough unanswered to allow for a second season, which is in the works -- hurray!

Yes, there's lots of sex in Transparent, but (boo) only Maura's children are having it. Maura is more interested in establishing her identity and being accepted by her family than in having sex with anyone -- at least in season 1. Will this change in the second season?

Craig (James Cromwell) is watching Irene (Geneviève Bujold), his wife of 61 years, lose her memory. He loves her fiercely and wants to protect her by building a house that will be easier for her to live in.

Although Craig has been building houses his whole life, he's no match for the bureaucracy that insists on permits and strict adherence to building codes that are irrelevant to Craig (the plans are in his head; the lumber came from a tree he felled; the knowledge came from his father and a lifetime of craftsmanship and self-sufficiency).

The love and chemistry between Craig and Irene are powerful. The tenderness in their loving looks and caresses will make you applaud or cry or both. And rather than portray this elderly couple as sexless, there's a sexy undressing scene early in the film that includes, "This never gets old. We always did passion well."

This film is based on real people and actual events. Don't miss it.

What films have you watched that portrayed aging and relationships in a non-stereotypical way? I look forward to your recommendations.

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About Joan

Join me in talking out loud about senior sex! I am an advocate for ageless sexuality and the author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty. I edited Ageless Erotica.
This blog offers news, views, and reviews related to sex and aging. I hope that by bringing the topics that concern us out in the open and sharing our attitudes and experiences, we'll start to change society -- one mind at a time!
You can read more about me at http://www.joanprice.com.

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Do you have questions you’d like to ask Joan privately about issues interfering with your sexual enjoyment? As a sex educator specializing in senior sexuality, Joan Price is available for private, educational consultations (not erotic or sensual) via phone, email, Skype, or FaceTime, or in person in Sonoma County and San Francisco Bay Area. For information, please email joan. Serious inquiries only, please.

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The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has issued new rules for bloggers: If we receive payment or free products for review, we need to disclose this. I think this is clear in my reviews, but here it is in plain words:

If I review a book, I received a review copy from the publisher or the author. This in no way influences what I say about the book.

If I review an sex toy or related product that I received free from the retailer or affiliate, I mention or thank my source in the review. I have also reviewed products that I bought, and I'll clarify this from now on.

I do not receive payment for my reviews -- or for anything else I write on this blog. I do have affiliate arrangements with the companies listed with logos here, which means I get a small commission if you order through the link I provide. This does not affect your price in any way.

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