Monday, August 17, 2015

Dreams, Plans and Prayers

As I look back over my life, which has been fairly short compared to some I know, I notice a change in the way I look at life altogether. It has kind of been like a transitioning from one way of thinking to another, sort of like a metamorphosis.

It all started when I was a little girl.....

.....I was the dreamer:

I remember dreaming about all the places I would go someday, all the wonderful things I would see. I dreamed of travelling all over the world, trying new foods, meeting new people. I also dreamed of meeting my Knight in Shining Armor. I just knew that one day some man would sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after. If you have been following me you know how I now feel about the phrase "Happily Ever After."

I am not saying that dreams are bad. Dreams are the things that get us through our childhood. I mean imagine what that time of life would have been like without them. Dreams can get us through times that are difficult or stressing. Dreams are an expression of our inner selves and the things that we long for.

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Then there came the high school years and my first big change.....
,,,,,That was when I became the planner:

There were so many decisions to be made, things to be done. At first I was ready to sign up and join the United States Navy. I had pen to paper and was all ready to join up. Joining the Navy was going to be my ticket to travel. It was going to be the one thing that helped me to see all those places I always wanted to go. I went to my parents with my decision and they were against it, so I didn't go. I sometimes wonder how different my life would have been if I had went into the Navy. After that decision was made I then pursued college and nursing. Unfortunately I soon discovered my calling was not in the nursing field, I dropped out and went into the work force. In the end I did go back to school and found my true calling, teaching. I love to teach and know for a fact it is a calling that God gave me.

I think it is very important that young people have a plan for the future. I am not saying that they need to have it all mapped out, but having a basic plan is a great idea. Recently I had this same conversation with my 15 year old. She has still not decided what she wants to be, but she already has decided on community college for two years after high school. After that she will transfer to a four year school and hopefully by then she will know what she wants to be when she grows up.

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I find that I am still a planner. Each day I make a list of things that I need to do. I have a book that helps me keep track of appointments and important calls that need to be made. I even plan out all our vacations. My family gets so aggravated sometimes. I am really trying to not set such a "rigid" schedule on vacations,but old habits are hard to break.

Then the Thirty somethings came along and....
....I became the Prayer:

I just never understood how important prayer was in our lives until I hit Adulthood. I guess my early years had been pretty laid back and non-dramatic. Don't get me wrong we had our times of difficulty, times when bad things happened and we felt that weight, but for the most part I was basically unphased by life. Then I married, had children and started being an adult. Can I just say that Adulthood is kind of overrated. I begin to see that the older I get the more difficult life becomes. We as a family have been through sicknesses, death, sorrow. I have struggled with my own grief, guilt and pain. There have been times that I have been so heartbroken that tears are I could do, no words would form or be spoken. I understand so much more why we need prayer in our lives. Living makes you see that.

Each of these phases has been an important part of my life. They have made me the woman I am today and have allowed me to grow and change throughout my life. I am a prayer and a planner, but I can also say that there is still a little bit of a dreamer inside of me. That little girl is still there longing to do all those amazing things. Every now and then she gets the chance and with it that feeling that anything is still possible.