Did Prosecutor Joseph McGettigan provided the defense with a smoking gun on a silver platter in regards to the psycho-sexual disorder? His closing statement did successfully reveal the guilt of Jerry Sandusky beyond a doubt but ... on the other hand ... he attempted to make it perfectly clear to the jury that a disorder was the underlying cause.

I wish the jury would return sooner than later with a guilty verdict and ... relieve me of my dark feelings regarding the outcome of this trial.

Sandusky smiled slightly as McGettigan explained to jurors what psycho-sexual disorder is and how people with it think.

They believe children love them, that what they do doesn’t hurt children, that they have a special relationship with children and that’s why others can’t know what they do with children “in basements and showers, saunas,” he said.

“He thinks these are relationships,” McGettigan said. “At the expense of the child.”

Loving Natalee - Beth HollowayPage 219: I have to make difficult choices every day. I have to make a conscious decision every morning when I wake up not to be bitter, not to live in resentment and let anger control me. It's not easy. I ask God to help me._____

“A person of integrity expects to be believed and when he’s not, he let’s time prove him right.” -unknown

Six of the so-called "creepy" letters Sandusky wrote to alleged Victim 4 were made available in their entirety. Here is one of six letters the prosecution entered as evidence.

"Very few people know about this story and probably less care. I guess that I’m writing it for me. I’m Jer.

(Victim 4) is a young man that came into Jer’s life. It was a difficult time for Jer because he had lost his dad. Jer and his dad shared so much, did many things together. (Victim 4) comes along and he and Jer seem to enjoy the same experiences. Both seemed to be in need. They loved playing games, competing, singing, laughing, sharing experiences, just being themselves. Jer remembers driving (Victim 4) home. (Victim 4) would say, “Tell me another story, Jer.”

Jer, of course, being filled with them would come up with one. Jer remembers how he didn’t want those rides to end.

Jer became attached to (Victim 4) and always will be. (Victim 4) loved Justice and Staush, and they love him. He and Jer played Polish soccer, wrote papers together, rode (Victim 4)'s four wheeler even though Jer was scared to death, studied in the playground, roller skated, ice skated, jet skiied, went to a bowl game, spent days at football and soccer camp, canoed, traveled and more. He met and did things with Penn State football players and spent many hours with them and Jer.

Times were not always perfect. There were ups and downs. There were arguments, fights, they cared! No matter what, there was a connection that would help them last through their difficult times. There was always a sensitive, caring feeling deep inside. Jer had learned through many experiences that life isn’t perfect, even with someone he considered to be his “best friend.”

Life is far from perfect at this stage. Something or things have come into (Victim 4)’s life that appear to have taken him over. It’s powerful, a cloud of smoke that has engulfed him, for Jer it has been a dark cloud. (Victim 4) seemed to fight it, coming over trying to do hockey, but couldn’t pull it off. He seemed to be losing these battles more and more.

Inch by inch the cloud has chocked him and taken over. It has smothered sensitivity and love, taken away his caring and enthusiasm. His enthusiasm has been replaced by sleep, his caring replaced by apathy (no concern). “Tell me another story, Jer, “ has been replaced by “I don’t care.” This cloud has destroyed soccer and hockey, choked smiles and laughter. There is fear that it has reached his insides, killing his feelings.

Jer believes that there will always be something special inside (Victim 4).

He hopes that it will last, return, if it has left. The players miss him.

They say, “come back, (Victim 4)!” “Stay with us, (Victim 4)!” Jer would love to have the good times back. The players shout, “be with us to the end!”

Jer would love to hear “Tell me another story, Jer.” Jer may not be worthy, but he needs a “best friend.” It doesn’t look real good.

Jer understands life and its changes. He’s proud, too proud to beg for a friend, extended family member. The story will end the way (Victim 4) wants it. Jer wants to be there to the end, but that’s (Victim 4)’s call. If (Victim 4) ever needs him, he’ll come.

Regardless, they have had an experience that others won’t. Jer will not forget and always care!"

::snipping2:: Once again, I have decided to write some of my thoughts.

I write because you mean so much to us. I write because I am concerned about all of us. I write because I have seen the hurt on [redacted]'s face when you don’t show for him, even though you have given your word. I write because of the churning in my own stomach when you don’t care. I write because I still hope that there will be meaning to the time we have known each other.

[Redacted] and I have seen this before, had similar experiences and to be honest, not very happy conclusions. You like to express yourself in a straight-forward manner. This will be a very direct message from us.

We seem to be a convenience. When it is inconvenient or a better deal comes along, you leave a trail of broken promises. Commitments seem to be meaningless.

You are able to bounce from person to person, object to object. You seek happiness through control, domination and what satisfies the moment.

You have to hit the home run, swing for the fence. You don’t understand or choose not to worry about loyalty, commitment or caring. The motivation is to get what you want regardless of others.

On the surface this many appear to work for you. People enjoy your youthfulness. Different people show up to give you temporary fulfillment.

We could be wrong but don’t believe that this works. Our experience shows otherwise. You will get older. People will expect more. Your youthfulness will disappear. If you cannot care, you will not be able to live up to the expectations. Your so-called “best friends” will vanish. Happiness will escape your life.

You might want to stop and think about true happiness. It seems to come more often when you don’t try as hard, look to just get a single, reach out to others, lose yourself, become satisfied with plain, simple people who care.

It’s your life! You can continue as you have, keep looking for happiness or you can find it. We’d love to be a part of your life, but that’s your choice.

We’ve been here, made it through some challenges. We want to always be there for you!

Loving Natalee - Beth HollowayPage 219: I have to make difficult choices every day. I have to make a conscious decision every morning when I wake up not to be bitter, not to live in resentment and let anger control me. It's not easy. I ask God to help me._____

“A person of integrity expects to be believed and when he’s not, he let’s time prove him right.” -unknown

Comments (9 at time I'm posting)Nancy TerryHe groomed her just like he did the boys.Reply · 2 · Like · Follow Post · 3 hours ago

Kim Rabon AlvarezIt is the same as they say of women in denial of their husband's affairs...they know but deny it until they are ready to face the truth. And God willing, she will begin facing that truth in a matter of hours when the verdict comes down. Unfortunately her state of denial is a huge act of irresponsibility in the case of these young men.Reply · 1 · Like · Follow Post · 3 hours ago

Susan Jessen · Top Commenter · Works at Photo restorationI'd say Dottie is, well, dotty, if she thinks her husband is innocent of the charges.Reply · Like · Follow Post · Tuesday at 8:16pm

Jim Crandley · Top CommenterCome on 15 years of this crap. I wonder how many times she asked her friends so how many little boys does your husband hang out with? I wonder how many times her friends said So why is Jerry always hanging with little boys? Can you say N.A.M.B.L.A. I just did. I don't want to hear that she's abused.Reply · 4 · Like · Follow Post · December 12, 2011 at 7:43pm

Doris Casey · Top CommenterI would say she knew all,, just as the other wife knew all,, from the other college.Reply · 4 · Like · Follow Post · December 12, 2011 at 7:36pmMarsha Oritt · Owner-Operator at TaxMasters - Marsha OrittBS She is as sick as he is. They both belong in prison for the rest of their lives.Reply · 3 · Like · Follow Post · December 13, 2011 at 12:09pm Doris Casey · Top Commenter I agree! Reply · Like · December 13, 2011 at 12:37pm

Carol Marz Aten · Medical Transcriptionist/Medical Coding at Independent ContractorI don't get it...she apparently is just as much a victim as the boys! She needs to wake up and smell the coffee...Reply · 2 · Like · Follow Post · December 13, 2011 at 6:21am Doris Casey · Top Commenter shes no victim,, she an abetter, she went along with it ,, I dont want to hear that she was ''afraid'' and ''scared'' thats a bunch of bull!! she knew what was going on. Reply · 2 · Like · December 13, 2011 at 12:36pm Carol Marz Aten · Medical Transcriptionist/Medical Coding at Independent ContractorDoris Casey - if not a victim then she certainly is in denial! Maybe we will find out just 'who' she is...she seems to have kept a low profile all these years...hmmmm curious I would say... Reply · Like · December 13, 2011 at 1:12pmDoris Casey · Top Commenter Carol Marz Aten I really hate to call another woman Names, but we all know what a woman knows,, we wernt given that 6th sense for nothing!!!!! Reply · 1 · Like · December 13, 2011 at 1:44pm

View 3 moreDeb Mcneal · Edison State CollegeDottie S. is mere "window dressing", part of the intricate planning in order to decieve everyone that "good ol Jerry" lives a normal life. I don't blame her. I think she is probably stupid or naiev. Jerry is a master manipulater, I am sure he chose this type of woman to add to his elaborate cover. Ha, the party's over Jer!Reply · Like · Follow Post · December 14, 2011 at 4:58pm Melanie Walker Mildenberger Amen, Deb! I think you hit the nail on the head. Reply · Like · Tuesday at 6:39pm

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" Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts." - Daniel Moynihan

Matt Sandusky, one of Jerry Sandusky's six adopted children, said through his attorney on Thursday that "he is a victim of Jerry Sandusky's abuse."

Here is the full statement:

STATEMENT OF ATTORNEYS ANDREW SHUBIN AND JUSTINE ANDRONICI

Matt Sandusky, one of Jerry Sandusky's adopted children, asked us to confirm with you the accuracy of this morning's news reports indicating that he was prepared to testify truthfully as a Commonwealth witness.

During the trial, Matt Sandusky contacted us and requested our advice and assistance in arranging a meeting with prosecutors to disclose for the first time in this case that he is a victim of Jerry Sandusky's abuse.

At Matt's request, we immediately arranged a meeting between him and the prosecutors and investigators.

This has been an extremely painful experience for Matt and he has asked us to convey his request that the media respect his privacy. There will be no further comment at this time.

<snipped>

Another big development on the day the deliberations began was the exclusive interview by NBC Reporter Kate Snow with a man named Travis Weaver. Weaver, who is now 30, claims he was abused by Jerry Sandusky more 100 times and that the abuse started when Weaver was 10 and spanned four years. Weaver testified before a grand jury, however not the same grand jury whose investigations led to the current trial and he was not called to testify in the current trial. Weaver is suing both the school and Jerry Sandusky. His full interview airs Thursday night at 10 p.m. on Rock Center with Brian Williams on NBC10.

Loving Natalee - Beth HollowayPage 219: I have to make difficult choices every day. I have to make a conscious decision every morning when I wake up not to be bitter, not to live in resentment and let anger control me. It's not easy. I ask God to help me._____

“A person of integrity expects to be believed and when he’s not, he let’s time prove him right.” -unknown