BAM! Dan is right on with this, though I do not personally like the term "Lie". It is more accurately an "Idealized Self" the difference being a lie is intentionally misleading which is hard to keep up during an LTR. But the 'Idealized Self' is fully incorporated into the concious 'normal' personality.A murderer, to take an extreme example, rarely if ever sees him or herself as such.

Dude - of all the relationship advice I've heard in the past few years - this has to be some of the best - and put so well from someone who has a real life track record on the unheard of long term gay relationship.

I really needed to hear this. Today would have been 4yrs that my Ex bf and I have been friends. I miss him as my bf sure but I miss him even more as my best friend. I really really at least want him back as my best friend. Hopefully today we'll have lunch or dinner today to remember a happier time in our relationship. He's told me that he loves me still and that he misses me. I have to believe that there is a chance. I hate that he doesnt call when he says he will. Or that he's in the closet or that he spaces out and is very OCD at times. He forgets alot but just like Dan says, I look past alot of it because its like Joel Osteen has said you'll be happy 80% of the time with someone and miserable 20% of it. you can either dwell on the 20% and go find someone that fills that but then lacks the rest... or just enjoy and build up the rest. I hope these last 2 months of seperation will lead to a better stronger relationship than before... friends, bf's, whatever... I gotta have hope. I have to believe. And if not then, God lead me to the guy that is meant for me. Something tells me though... he's already here. thank you very much for sharing this with us. I really apprechiate it.