FULL PERMISSION LIVING

FULL PERMISSION LIVING is an approach to healing and self-actualization, but moreso, it is an approach to living life as it is naturally meant to be lived.Full Permission Living is the based on the understanding that human beings are, by first nature, sane, loving, cooperative, creative, humorous, intelligent, productive and naturally self-regulating. Full Permission Living rests on the foundation of truth that all people are entitled to live pleasure-filled, spontaneous, lives without guilt, shame or oppressive inner rules and prohibitions. Indeed, we are meant to live with full inner permission to follow our natural inner guidance and our inborn pleasure instinct to seek out gratification in all of our actions and endeavors, and that such a way of living always benefits those around us and those that we love.On this blog, we will explore ways in which we can reconnect to our true selves and live lives of physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and material fulfillment, while remaining in a state of harmony with others and with the world around us. We will discover the truth that life is meant to get better and better as time progresses, that growing up, maturing and aging is not at all a deteriorating process, but rather one in which the individual becomes more and more potent and powerful in all areas until the very end of a lifetime. We can discover that everyone has everything already built in that is necessary to achieve the fulfillment of their deepest desires. And it's no secret!Contact PETER LOFFREDO at: fpliving@aol.com

HERE is a link to a recent clip by "Bashar," channeling through Darryl Ankar, addressing a question I hear often from people who have done a significant amount of self-work, but still find that there are people in their lives operating at a lower level of consciousness than they are. The complaint usually sounds something like this:

"After all this work I've done to raise my own level of self-awareness and understanding, and to connect to my feelings, why am I still attracting this kind of person or energy into my life?"

Christopher Ryan is one of the freshest voices in the modern scientific movement to decode the mystery of human sexuality. His book, Sex At Dawn, busts many of the myths surrounding human sexual evolution, based upon contextual evidence from our hominid ancestors as well as our living relatives, namely, the great apes.

We've known for some time that bonobos (previously known as "pygmy chimpanzees") are among one of the most sexual of all living animals—besides of course, humans. Frans de Waal dubbed them the "make love, not war" species, since they seem to resolve the majority of conflicts through sexual activity. From them, we can learn a thing or two--or seven.

So, without further ado, here are seven things we can learn about love from bonobos, as described by Dr. Christopher Ryan:

1. More sex = less conflict. As the great primatologist, Frans de Waal put it, "Chimps use violence to get sex, while bonobos use sex to avoid violence." While chimps victimize each other in many ways--rape, murder, infanticide, warfare between groups--there's never been a single observed case of any of these forms of aggression among bonobos, who are much sexier than chimps. As James Prescott demonstrated in a meta-analysis of all available anthropological data, the connection between less restrictive sexuality and less conflict generally holds true for human societies as well.
2. Feminism can be very sexy. When females are in charge, everyone lives better (including the males). While male chimps run the show, among bonobos, it's the females who are in charge, with much better quality of life for everyone involved (see #1).
3. Sisterhood is powerful. Although female bonobos are about 20% smaller than males--roughly the same ratio as in chimps and humans--they dominate males by sticking together. If a male gets out of line and harasses a female, ALL the other females will gang up on him. This sisterly solidarity, combined with lots of sex, tends to keep the males behaving politely.
4. Jealousy isn't romantic. While bonobos no-doubt experience unique feelings for one another, they don't seem to worry much about controlling one another's sex lives. Nor do bonobos seem to gossip much...
5. There's promise in promiscuity. All the casual sex among bonobos is arguably a big part of what has made them among the smartest of all primates. Until human beings came along and messed things up for them, bonobos enjoyed very high quality of life, low stress, and plenty of social interaction in hammocks. In fact, of the many species of social primates living in multi-male social groups, not a single species is sexually monogamous. Each of the arguably smartest mammals--humans, chimps, bonobos, and dolphins--is promiscuous.
6. Good sex needn't always include an orgasm, and "casual" doesn't necessarily mean "empty" or "cheap." Most bonobo sexual interactions are nothing more than a quick feel, rub, or intromission--a "bonobo handshake," if you will. (See Vanessa Woods's excellent book by that name for a personal story of living with bonobos while falling in love.) But bonobos are very romantic: like humans, they kiss, hold hands (and feet!), and gaze into one another's eyes while having sex.
7. Sex and food go together better than love and marriage. Nothing gets a bonobo orgy started faster than a feast. Give a group of bonobos a bunch of food and they'll all have some quick sex before very politely sharing the food. No need to fight over scraps like a bunch of uncouth chimps!

Well, all I can say - besides "LOL," "Bring it on," and "If only" - is that I have been looking for a short cut around the painstaking process of psychotherapy for three decades. In that search, I have studied and/or practiced psychoanalytic treatment modalities, object relations theory, paradoxical therapy, Jungian analysis, behavioral-cognitive therapies, Gestalt, Primal Scream, Bioenergetics, Core Energetics, hypnosis, past life regression, channeling, Alexander and rebirthing techniques, herbal cleanses, acupuncture, shiatsu, Reiki and Full Permission Living, all in an effort to put myself out of business, which is how I see being successful as a therapist.

As a result of those efforts, which have required more than anything else that I subject myself to all of the above processes, I have been able to help some people go deeper into themselves and experience profound shifts and healings in their personalities, and to achieve such shifts and healings at an accelerated rate, but we're still talking years. And years of whatever-it-takes determination on the part of the patient and therapist. And a crucial part of the process has always been the therapeutic relationship, the actual partnership, person to person, between therapist and patient, rolling up their sleeves and going into the netherlands of our psyches and emotional lives.

An app for therapy?

Well, here's Dr. Andrew J. Gerber, a psychiatrist at Columbia University, quoted in the Times piece on the prospect of a therapy icon next to Angry Birds and Fruit Ninja:

“We are built as human beings to figure out our place in the world, to construct a narrative in the context of a relationship that gives meaning to our lives. I would be wary of treatments that don’t allow for that.”

I couldn't agree with you more, Dr. Gerber.

[Footnote: I didn't mention psychopharmacology or psychosurgery as treatment methods I've tried because I don't consider modern psychiatry to be in the business of helping people or providing actual healing treatments.]

Well, yes, finally, I put all of the character structures in one place and made a link to get to them! The link is at the top of the list in the "Links" section on the lower right side of the blog. Check it out... and have fun finding your self!

Yes, that's the title of a piece by one Richard J. Davidson, professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, claiming to have made the "revolutionary" discovery that emotions and reason are not actually separate in their interplay in our psyches.

"It is hard to exaggerate what a break this is from the conventional wisdom in psychology and neuroscience," says Davidson.

Okay, yes, I'm LOL-ing as I write this.

New to who, Professor D?

Sixteen years ago, Daniel Goleman's book, "Emotional Intelligence," along with others like "Descarte's Error," by Antonio R. Damasio, and "Molecules of Emotion," by Candace Pert, were already shaking the shaky underpinnings of psychiatry and psychology regarding the relative importance of mind and emotions to each other and to our daily functioning. Not to mention that half a century before that, Wilhelm Reich was already making the mind-body-emotions connection, followed up brilliantly by Alexander Lowen, and nevermind that various bodies of spiritually channeled material from Jane Roberts to Eva Broch-Pierrokas also spoke to the importance of emotions in creating the very fabric of our reality. But of course that's not "science."

Nonetheless, it's always gratifying when the 3D world, of which science and medicine lead the way, starts to catch up.

"Awareness of what I feel, no matter how undesirable it may be, will make me free. I will have the choice of my actions only to the degree of my awareness. If I choose to verbally express these feelings when there is a good purpose, such as with my helper, I will do so. If I feel that such expression may impair a relationship, I will not do so, but will withhold it knowingly and without self-deception."Pathwork Guide Lecture #133

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
Paul McCartney

This last line of the last song written for the Beatles (by Paul) was also the last musical line sung (by Paul) at last night's Grammy Awards. What brought tears to my eyes in that moment was the realization that this particular soul made sure that in this lifetime he said to the world what he came here to say. There he was, over 4 decades later after first saying it:

"Post 50 singles want sex, and they want it often. Given that people over 50 are the biggest growing group in online dating and the most likely to use match-making sites, it's no surprise that sex is on their minds. In fact, a new survey by dating site OurTime.com found that 97 percent of midlifers consider regular sex important for their romantic relationships. And single post 50s aren't seeking sheet action every now and then -- 65 percent of those surveyed want it two to three times a week.

Of course, single boomers aren't the only ones getting down. In fact, this week on "The Today Show," Dr. Pepper Schwartz - AARP's sex and relationship ambassador - revealed that married people have the most sex. And guess who's loving sex more later in life? Women.

They ask because she was a great talent and her music enthralled millions around the world. She had a gift, and it feels like that gift was taken away ruthlessly.

Folks, I am not at all being insensitive here, but yes, talent is a gift, but that is all. It is an open window into the soul, into our Higher Self, but it does not provide an end run around the aspects of ourselves that need to be healed. Talent is not a cure. And yes, The Wave, that surge of energy that has been knocking people off the planet at an accelerated rate over the last two years, is ruthless!

But it is ruthless in both directions. During these last two years, many people have been healing and becoming more self-actualized faster and more powerfully than ever, just as others, steadfast in their resistance and illusions have been met with severe crisis more dramatically. (And rest assured, if you don't want to heal, the medical-pharmaceutical-insurance industry cabal is on your side!) And basically right now, there is no middle ground, no "neutral" to shift into

This isn't being done to us, though. We have called this energy forth for the transistions we want to make collectively and individually right now.

The Wave is upon us because we've asked it to be. As I've said many times before, you can get on your surfboard of self-work and enjoy the ride, or you can get slammed, but those are the only two choices. You decide. We all do.

Whether you ever speak it out loud, whether you hide it even from yourself, your kids know the truth.

Folks, if you are or plan to become a parent, play the long game. By that I mean don't go for the short-term ego gains of trying to please your kids. Parenting is a job. They're not, nor do they need to be your friends. The love part is there, built in by your Higher Self, so trust that and just do your job!

And while we're at it, don't make your kids a source of supply for your unmet needs from your childhood. That's not their job. Don't live vicariously through their achievements, nor feel defeated by their failures. Let them evolve. They have souls, just like everybody else.

In the end, playing the long game paid off for Pauline and her son. It can for you, too.

There's a piece on salon.com entitled"Oscar 2012: Chicken soup for the Hollywood Soul" that describes the number of popular movies that came out in 2011 about people in crisis, in particular the kind of life-altering crises that have been typical of what I have been calling The Wave rolling through Planet Earth over the last few years.

"Nobody needs your help. I know, I know...this is a difficult one. But it is true. Yet this does not mean no one wants your help, or that no one could use your help. It simply means the thought that another aspect of divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate. Do not do something, therefore, because you think someone else needs you. That only builds resentment. Do whatever you do as a means of deciding, declaring, creating, and experiencing who you are--and who you choose to be. Then you will never feel victimized, powerless, or without choice. Yes? You see how simple it all is? Get out of victimhood."
Neil Donald Walsch (Sent to PL by MC)

This is why I do this, folks, why I started this blog, to give a voice to the Truth (Yes, with a capital "T") to offer and invite actual Wisdom (capital "W"), not conventional wisdom, which far too often represents a system of beliefs that range from primitive superstition, at best, to nefarious lies and manipulations, at worst.

What follows is from a courageous mother who defied the dogma and saved her son from the doctors and "experts."

Thank you, whoever and wherever you are!

Here's "Anonymous":

Thank you for sharing this.

My son was indeed misdiagnosed under the "spectrum," yet I knew to my core that he was in fact being dismissed for his atypical, but gifted, development.

Consequently, I in turn dismissed "the experts" and helped my child even-out at home my (our)own way by spending time with him, teaching him. He was autonomously reading and comprehending complex written language at age two (2), and fluent in the "language" of spatial relationships, yet he did not begin to process spoken language or converse until age (6). These developmental differences were dismissed as being indicative of "autistic markers" and we were sent on our way with recommendations for special schooling and more "experts."

It has been my experience that so many "experts" like to conveniently box children into nice neat categories, pontificate in generalities, and capitalize on the mystical respect we as a society are blindly programmed to give them as health professionals. Essentially, such people diagnose to justify their own degrees. I did find one PhD who was exceptional and pegged my son for being gifted, but the many that I encountered not only severely lacked what I think should be the requisite academic inquisitiveness of a person given such power, but they also did not have children of their own and were thus incapable of knowing the variability of day to day development.

Most importantly, they gave no credence to the input of me as the mother. I too was dismissed and seen as being in denial. This was a very difficult hurdle to overcome, both in the system and from within. The pressure was so great that even with my resolute position intact, I still began to have moments of self-doubt. The reality is that I would have been perfectly willing to accept any issue my son had to deal with, any diagnosis they made, had it been correct.

I wish I could show them my kid now...he is, as you say in your blog, a proud nerd, who has earned academic honors, and has all the human qualities they said he could not have...insight, emotion, empathy. He is doing just fine.

"But my experience can’t be unique. Under the rules in place today, any nerd, any withdrawn, bookish kid, can end up diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. This is particularly true if you’re bad at sports or nervous or weird-looking. As I came into my adult personality, it became clear to me and my mother that I didn’t have Asperger syndrome, and she apologized profusely. I forgave her, after about seven years."