Sunday, February 18, 2007

Once again, it's time for Kitschy Wishes, where I bring to you all the non-existent Christian merchandise that you want to see but are too ashamed to invent!

This week, we bring you the latest in Christian fitness! Move over Dr. Ben Lerner! There's a new Christian health guru in town! You asked for it! No, really, you did. Look here. It's the Cross-Trainer™!

Scripture tells us to imitate Christ in all things, so, why not in the way we exercise, too!Using state of the art tension "Crosses" that you can adjust to any resistance level, the Cross trainer lets you care for your earthly vessel the Christian way! Plus, you can unlatch the outer Cross to use as a free weight and experience your Lord's journey to Calvary, with that old rugged cross on His back!

Remember, as children of God, we have the mind of Christ, and now, with the Cross-Trainer's™ help, you can be His body, and have it too!

Who Is This Guy?

Kitsch

A derogatory term used to describe works created specifically in order to pander to public demand. In this case, Christian demand for cutesy knick-knacks and other pseudo-spiritual items. I feel like the word 'kitschy' could describe a lot of the contemporary Christian church. We're converting the world, one t-shirt at a time.