Friday, December 19, 2008

Oliver Twist was an Obese, Needy Twat.

LONDON (Reuters) - Because Cancer and AIDS have been cured, doctors have been doing research on novels.The most recent discovery is nothing short of shocking. Truly life changing. Scientists have found that the amount of gruel Oliver Twist recieved was sufficient for the health and growth of a 9-year-old boy. Asking for "more" of the slop was simply bad taste.

They further found that contemporary recipes suggest each pint containing 1.25 ounces of best oatmeal, and servings were of course supplemented by wholesome coarse bread.

Historical data also shows large quantities of beef and mutton were delivered to workhouses, pediatric dietician Sue Thornton of Northampton General Hospital in central England and colleagues wrote in the British Medical Journal.

Such a diet, comprising three pints of gruel a day, would sustain growth in a nine-year-old child like Oliver, unless he was exceptionally active.

"Given the limited number of food staples used, the workhouse diet was certainly dreary, but it was adequate," they concluded.Well thank God, truly.