NSFW: Cannibalism Uncovered at PETA

Animal rights supporters were shocked when evidence of cannibalism was uncovered at recent PETA protests. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has long had an effective guerrilla marketing campaign raising awareness of the plight of animals used for experimentation and consumption. Their “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” campaign featured the nude pictures of mostly female celebrities. Despite its sexist undertones it was a cause celebre among Hollywood actors who dressed down in order to drum up support for PETA. It inspired naked protests in cities worldwide for its own causes, as well as threatened species and even Occupy Wall Street. PETA’s recipe would guarantee local news coverage.

The evidence suggests that the recipe now includes a starling new ingredient. Images at PETA rallies have surfaced with what appears to be a humans marked for filleting, humans on a bloody slaughterhouse floor, and (most damaging of all) a packaged human corpse marked “Flesh.”

PETA, in its long struggle to expose the extent to which livestock suffer, has long been accused of supporting animal rights above human needs. If the evidence uncovered is verified, it demonstrates that the vegan diet promoted by PETA has been spiked, as it were, with a Soylent Green supplement. Authorities are investigating.