Tag Archives: battles

first let me thank anyone and everyone who has read my blog (especially the most recent ones) and posted a response… i REALLY appreciate the care, concern, suggestions, and feedback…

so i think i’m done riding the insecurity ride… really… i was thinking about this the other day as i was sitting and crying (lol) and insecurity is like that gravitron ride. i think that we’ve all ridden it it at some point during our childhood to adolescent years. it’s the ride that no matter how hard you try to get up, you can’t because gravity is pulling you back down…

this seems to be a metaphorical mirror (you like that huh? lol) for my own battle with my insecurities. i got on this ride somewhere in between being told that i was dateable because i was lightskinned and getting lost in fashion magazines that idolize the skinny, blond-hair-blue-eyed models that had no curves (no offense to these types… but they surely aren’t me). granted, i went to the prestigious institute of Spelman College where i was surrounded by beautiful women with curves and rolls and straight and natural hair, i still struggle with the concept of my own beauty. i’ve done research, conducted studies, written papers, and have still been inconclusive… i’ve been told that i’m beautiful by men, women, white, black, asian, indian, whatever but i’m a firm believer that until you realize your own beauty, none of that matters (though i am grateful for it!)

so today is the first day i consciously decide to get off the insecurity gravitron and see myself as being beautiful despite my cankles, scars, rolls, and ever increasing size… or maybe i should see that as beautiful… i don’t know if i’m ready for all that but it’s a start to the end… a friend of mine (SEXY MOKS!!) who is amidst her own beautiful transformation told me that in order to start to do things differently and see things differently, you have to do the thing differently with purpose and intent behind it… so now i will purposely look at my reflection and purposely be happy with what i see and all that i am…