Welcome to my collection of true short stories, anecdotes and day to day commentary on the joys, hilarity and woes of being a stay-at-home momma to two toddling boys and a brand spanking new baby girl...

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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Do I come across as happy?

Recently I've started to wonder if my true self comes out when I blog, or, when a total stranger (like many of my readers) joins the dots together, is the picture that emerges skewed in the wrong direction?

Am I misinterpreting myself?

Back home I used to watch Big Brother and (big admission coming out here) I often sat and watched the 24 hour live coverage. Every now and then they'd hide the sound so we couldn't hear what was being said - obviously something really juicy.(Oh goody! They''re saving it for tonight's show.. I can't miss it now!)

But it was soon obvious that the editors were choosing to air only the bits they wanted. And by doing so, they could sway the audience. A bit like the News does.

I do this (albeit unintentionally) with my friends and family back home. I don't speak to them on the phone as frequently as I'd like to, and when I do I don't want to bog them down with all my crapola! I laugh, I joke, I entertain, but when I'm a wreck i.e when I need them the most, I resist the urge to pick up the phone.

Sometimes I'm too weak to resist - but I nearly always regret this moment of weakness (and that's all it ever is, a fleeting moment). But as far as that poor person on the other end of the line knows, I'm a blubbering wreck in desperate need of therapy until our next 'happy' conversation, which could be months later. At least they can check in with me on my blog now...

This works both ways. I've 'faked' happy at times to protect my Mum's heart and nerves - she's way too old to be worrying about her estranged grown-up daughter (who still needs her mummy once in a while). She has no idea that after laughing raucously for half an hour I curl up on the floor still cradling the handset and sob my homesick little heart out (not every phone call Mam).

Even if I blogged 15 times a day there'd be gaps. I frequently sit down to blog, only to get pulled away from the screen minutes later to put my eldest on the potty. In the short interim while I'm gone I might happen to receive an unexpected invoice from our letting agents, let's say.

Total bummer. The tone of my writing changes drastically. I guess we'll never know what incredible literary creation just went down the can along with my eldest's inconvenient post bedtime turd, will we?

Sheesh! The above was supposed to preface my blog post; Do I come across as happy? (I'm a rambling blogger these days...)

The truth is, I am. Very.

And recently, I've been thinking it's a travesty if my readers don't know that. I don't know if I blog happy enough?

I blog rude, and silly, and deep (aw, c'mon! I can be deep) and I've blogged sad. I sincerely hope through all of that, my happiness at being the Momma comes shining through.

I don't think you can blog humorously if you are unhappy. I can't anyway. You always have something funny to say, and in those posts where you go deep, I don't even think there is an element of despair there, it's just you showing us a different side. We are not cardboard cutouts after all, there are many facets to our personalities. Your 'diamond' is often shining.

BTW, those are simply gorgeous photos of you and your family--they exude happiness!

I absolutely picture you as happy, Josie! Your stories are hilarious and the love that you have for your family always shows through your blog. If you're not always happy, you're being real and that is completely (Thank God) normal! I love reading your stories of true life. Of course there are those times we lie crying in a ball. That's how we recharge. Keep being happy and you know what? When you're not happy, that's ok too! Your family is beautiful! I love the pics :)

A few weeks ago Daniel and I had the BEST news and we were quick to share it with our friends and loved ones. Some would say too quick. I ...

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Josie Bisett

Welcome to my world! I'm a blogging oh-so-happy-to-stay-at-home-momma to two terrific toddling cowboys, and a darling newborn baby belle. The hubs and I left the UK for Texas, a loving but lonesome family of two. Four years on and we're a loving and frenetic family of five - eight if we count the canines and cat as family, which I do!