Another Inexplicable Post On A Dead Blog Born Solely Out Of Shameless Self-Promotion

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Hello internet. I trust you have been well. Have I told you lately that I love you? Existential Parachute Pants is still dead. However, sometimes in the course of human events, I still need a blog space to post stuff, and then I come on over to here and, you know, pimp myself as if though I am both a ride and Xhibit. The reason this time? Plays!

In short, a little while back I wrote three one-act comedy plays for a local comedy theater. I was quite enthused about it. A guy who I knew from back when The Second City Detroit existed is their producer now and he was all like “Write some plays” and I churned out three super quick. Then, I heard nothing. Then, when I heard something, it was this guy saying, “Yeah, we decided we are moving to an all-improv format, so, you know, fuck you and your plays.” Or something like that. It was probably less harsh.

So, that left me with three plays with no home. I have spent months emailing playhouses around the country trying to see if anybody wants them. I’ve heard, well, basically nothing. As such, I decided to take the step of putting the scripts online, so anybody can find them and, if they want, put them up. Not for free, but if you, like, email me that you want to do it and then send me five bucks or whatever through PayPal you can have a script. I’ll be happy to promote the shit out of it. Tell me how it goes. Here are the three scripts: