A weekend of torture in the CFL

I would be delusional if I said that I enjoyed the past weekend of football. When I think about the Winnipeg-Toronto game, I want my three hours back. If I had to choose between watching another game like that or an all-expense paid trip to Guantanamo Bay, I’ll take the bay. The level of torture would be significantly lower.

Winnipeg is the proud owner of the worst offence I have seen in a long time. The Bombers are a continuous series of crash landings on offence. I’m not quite sure if they even get enough altitude to crash. Insane talk about a Hall of Fame incompetent like Michael Bishop as their quarterback would actually be an improvement.

I really wanted to see Stefan LeFors succeed at quarterback because he is a left-handed quarterback and I am left-handed. I now believe that he could throw the ball with either arm and have the same level of accuracy and velocity.

He is not ambidextrous nor is he a quarterback.

A left-handed quarterback should play to his strengths and the side of the field that favours his southpaw ability. The flaw in LeFors’ case is the term “strength” because he is too weak to pass and too slow to run. This guy is Kevin Feterik without his Dad buying the team.

Somehow his coach saw fit to gut the team and hand over the carcass to a spaghetti-armed quarterback with zero pro-level talents. Mike Kelly should fire his offensive co-ordinator immediately and that would be easy. All he has to do is look into the mirror.

Mike Kelly is an experienced coach with a long history in the game, but he is also a former university professor and my experience in university taught me that many of these guys had serious god complexes. Sometimes practice and theory are two separate animals and Kelly’s real world applications have been a disaster thus far in Bomberland.

The Hamilton Tiger-Cats managed to give the Montreal Alouettes their stiffest test of the season and the early season suggests that the ’Cats have a bigger bite this year. The past few years have not been kind to the Ticats, who should have found a merciful veterinarian who would put them to sleep. But not this year.

The B.C. Lions-Calgary Stampeders game was a statement game for both teams, but Calgary boldfaced their statement. The Lions have a few concerns on both sides of the line because the O-line looked brutal and the D-line looked average. Wally Buono just looked angrier than usual.

And then there was the Eskimo-Roughriders game to wrap up the weekend festivities. I hate to be right about yet another suspect at quarterback in Riderville, but I am not sold on Darian Durant. Years of mediocrity have hardened me to the fact that many ’Rider quarterbacks are not destined for greatness. Join the club, Mr. Durant.

The O-line was not great, but they gave him enough time to get the job done against a poor defence and he flunked the test. This Saturday’s exam against Calgary will be a lot harder for him and an exhausted ’Rider defence with a few run-stop problems of their own.

Jim Sutherland is a local freelance writer whose CFL column appears Tuesdays and Saturdays in the Advocate. He can be reached at mystarcollectorcar.com