It’s not a defeat, it’s just NO to crackers, says Team India

On its 95 runs defeat from Australia in Semifinals of ICC World cup, Indian skipper M S Dhoni said, “We (Indian Cricket Team) have been informed about the raised level of pollution in India by an rganization called “Voice against Pollution” just after the quarterfinals. They told that there had been enormous increase in the pollution levels because of bursting of crackers on every victory of Indian cricket team. But we can’t let that happen anymore”.

Voice against Pollution (VAP) conducted a pan-India survey and found an abnormal increase in the level of pollution. They found one common reason for that in whole India with every region showing a spike in the wake of Mauka Mauka campaign. “If we just ask fans to do away with crackers, its not going to happen, so we had to give them a reason. Had we entered in finals, you can imagine the level the pollution could roar”, added Dhoni.

Indian fans celebrating India’s victory with crackers

There was a sudden rise in the number of crackers burst this World cup because crackers are not only donated by BJP Delhi office & Congress offices in India but also by the countries which India defeated in this World cup. VAP found that before semifinal of 2015 itself 700% more crackers are burst in India than 2011 world cup.

“As per ICC contract, a team can quit in the middle of the tournament, getting knocked out is the only option”, told Vice Captain Kohli. “Disappointment of fans is OK, after all we have some moral responsibilities towards mother India”, he said ,“this was the reason of my underperformance and not Anushka”. “Had we aware of such issue, we would have taken steps earlier”, Dhawan told Faking news reporter.

On this defeat, after scrutinizing the reason, BCCI Chairman said, “We innocent Indian fall in Pakistan’s foul play of polluting India. Pakistan instigated whole world against India. We were targeted.” “Indian team is the best and it has shown incredible game. We could have easily won, but we have to look after other issues as Indian citizens”, told Rohit Sharma.

Upon asked, if it was possible to celebrate India’s victory in semifinals without crackers, an exasperated fan told that bursting crackers was a basic ritual for celebrating victories. Had India won this match, we would have been surely celebrating victory with Australian brand crackers donated by Australia. Another fan told FN, “I was on sick leave today, now I’m feeling sick really”.

Social networking site CEOs took a sigh of relief. One CEO told on the promise of anonymity, “in last 4 years penetration of internet in India has increased manifolds. World cup 2015 was different than World Cup 2011 considering the number of users and related posts. In India’s quarter final victory, our infrastructure nearly crumbled, but somehow we could manage. Had there be an Indian conquest in semifinal, world would have come to known about our limitations and distress of resource handling as we could not manage such a huge content on our site.”

“There was no chance of us playing anymore on the cost of environment and social networking site breakdown, as both of them are lifelines”, told Sir Jadeja to FN. “The kind of exuberance Indian fans were exhibiting for semis, we have already sent ships to deliver our part of crackers to India like other counties. But we have to call them back now. Its Australia’s turn to burn the crackers”, told an Australian cracker manufacturer.

VAP representative said, “We are proud of Team India that they understood our point and brought a defeat to the nation, of course in game but not to environment”.