So if you've been wondering where the fudge I've been well I've been at home slowly dying of the death flu since Thursday! I haven't been this sick in a while and it's still kicking my ass...when will this end? I am the world's biggest baby when I'm sick and I'm shocked I still have a man after showing my puking cry face, sweating out the bed like I pissed myself and reeking of Ben-Gay! Thanks Joel, I love you! Even my cat, Ziggy Catdust, was alongside me the whole time purring in my face like...are you okay? Ugh I just want this to be over with already, DYING!

Anywho, I hope I'm back on my feet in a few cause I have major shit to do, booooooooooooo!

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Oops I was supposed to announce this yesterday, so the winner of the Tunnel VisionBAD VIBES vegan croc shorts, picked at random is....Liz from Wildcat!! Yays, congratulation and thank you everyone for entering, there will be more giveaways in the future!

I was rummaging the internet and stumbled upon this awesome photo shoot of my NY homie Miyako. I love this shoot cause this is Miyako all day, everyday...perfect chola bangs, heavy liquid eyeliner and wearing something amazing on her body!
When I visit NY one of my main goals is to see what Miyako's wearing which is always a compilation of vintage, a little ghetto, thrift finds, 90s and insane designer pieces...she's always on point, obvi!

On top of being an exceptional photographer herself it's always a pleasure to see her in front of a camera doing what she does best! I just had to share this inspiration with you guys and please feel free to check out Miyako's portfolio, here and more of Amanda Merten's portfolio, here.

I'm kinda mad I didn't get an ass shot in this pantsuit cause it just lift them cheeks up and makes the ass go BLAH-DOW! If you're a Martin fan then you know what I'm saying, lol! Since I don't have the whole world in my pants, a good butt day is huge to me...who doesn't enjoy a nice "dat ass" moment?

My look today is a lot of Rhythm Nation with a hint of acid! I've been really into simplicity lately and I just want a clean but edgy outfit that screams, "JESSICA!" I love this look cause I can go from day to night just by simply removing my jacket. Who knew something so simple could be this effin' cute?

I must say snapbacks are giving me life right now so be prepared to see lots of capped off looks on the blog! No seriously I'm obsessed and may have gone off the deep end...I NEED MORE!

Anywho, I'll be announcing the winner to the Tunnel Vision Bad Vibes giveaway later today so don't forget to enter, here...

So I was going to go to Coachella but after experiencing SXSW and all the overly exaggerated product placements I was like, "I'll pass!" I had fun but I was there for the bands not Taco Bell's Doritos tacos, like OMFG there was a building covered in a tarp to look like a giant Doritos bag! And there was plenty of free Monsters to wash it all down with...thanks but I eat adult food. No hate but it was TOTALLY different than what I experienced years ago...a little less music and a lot more sponsored by if you know what I mean?

Lets be honest the only coverage you remember about Coachella last year was the models/celebrities making pit stains in their "hippie" designer duds and the Tupac hologram! Unless you're into music you don't have a fucking clue what happening out in the desert other than what the media shows you. I don't know call me crazy but things have soooo changed, it was cute at first but now you're kinda fucking with me seeing lots of bands, lol! I have nothing against dressing up for festivals but if that's not who you really are then you just look like a complete idiot to be honest, it just seems forced like you're just there for pictures! I saw a photo of a girl in a pastel full length prom dress on Tumblr and almost died of laughter, like WTF, it's hot!! And Chanel Iman in fucking Alexander Wang heels like she's not sinking into the damn ground...I'm done!

Even though I didn't get to go to Coachella, Wet Seal and the lovelies over at Bollare still sent me an awesome backpack of things you need to survive an outdoor festival like baby wipes, chap stick and sunscreen. As over the top as I am I still want to be comfortable so I just had to give you an example of what I would wear.

You'll need a hat to block you from the sun since you will be outside all day. It will also help you avoid looking crazy in pictures.

A sleeveless tee will help you stay cooler and less unsightly pit stains. Your goal is to stay dry so if you sweat a lot than less is more.

Denim shorts are your best friend at outdoor festivals cause you can sit like a dude and you don't have to worry about stains or getting dirty...it's denim. Just make sure they're not too tight cause hours of camel toe is no fun!

A shawl, kimono, a long cardi or anything light you can take on and off cause you never know what it will be like when the sun goes down or it could be cooler in the shade so come prepared.

Oversized sunnies so you can go makeup free...you do not need a full face of makeup out there in the sun, sweating unless you want bad skin later.

Comfortable shoes are everything! You will be walking/standing on grass all day...I recommend your most comfortable pair of boots or anything with insoles. I like my feet covered cause not all puddles are water, it's more than likely piss!

A backpack to haul all your shit in like your camera, brush, backup sunnies, etc. Plus to carry all the freebies and bulk of unnecessary koozies you'll be receiving, lol!

I haven't given up on festivals just yet and hopefully I'll be attending Summerfest here in Houston, hahahahahahahaha, maybe since it's oddly during the hottest time of the year!! We'll see how many local crap bands are playing first...I refuse to pay over 60 bucks for shitty bands!

If you went to Coachella this year, I want to hear about your experience...I want to go but not really into all the hype.

Ever since I saw the Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton S/S runway show last season I just had to get my little paws on a replica or something cause you know I don't spend money on designer duds, DUH! Also the editorials in this collection have been beyond BORING and just no creativity whatsoever, like seriously they're paying a stylist to make it look exactly how it looked on the runway. I saw the same damn blue and white two piece set on every model/celebrity possible in every major magazine worn the same exact way...it's mind blowing! We get it, it's mod, it's simple but for fuck sakes you don't have to be so literal!

I've been DYING to put my spin on it and dipped back to the mid-late 90s when they tried to bring back the 60s/70s with little mod dresses, hip huggers and platform boots. I wanted to be as far away from "girly cute" as possible so I added a varsity jacket and snapback to tone down my pretty dress and heels. (No still cute, vomit, lol!) I love mixing prints with more prints in a subtle way or piling on B&W with a pop of color. That's definitely my fashion plans for the Summer!

I'm obsessed with this look...you?

kiss kiss,

Virgin

Also don't forget to enter the Tunnel Vision giveaway, if you haven't already, here!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Oh the Zara skort we love, plastered all over the internet as seen on bloggers/editors, dressed up or dressed down...we've all seen it! I'm actually proud of the skirt for taking a break from it's usual up and down form and giving us edgy exaggerated asymmetrical cuts/layers made with cool prints, zippers, leather, metallics and solid colors. It seems the skirt refused to be second best to cutoff denim shorts this Spring/Summer, so upgrade those raggedy studded cutoffs with a statement mini skirt! Here are some of my faves...please try this at home, lol.

Hey girl, hey...sorry I've been living the Mom life helping Ephraim with his testing and science fair, which he got 2nd place in, fyi! Also Joel's offshore drilling oil for a week so I felt I had to take a much needed break from the blog world and being a Mom is like the best excuse too, lol.

Anywho, it's starting to warm up again in Houston, yays! For a while the weather was being rather bipolar and you never knew what you were waking up to...cold, rain, blazing hot. Now that the sun's shining in it's time to bust out some leg action!

We all know I love my legs and they are quite long for a short person (I'm 5'4) but my biggest pet peeve is when people judge me by the size of my wrists/ankles/flat chest and assume I have the body of a 12 yr old boy...WRONG! I always tell people I have a hourglass figure just small like the one's you see in board games, lol!!! Sometimes when jealous girl call me anorexic I want to lift up my dress and say, "Do you see these fucking thighs" and jiggle them in their faces. Yes I know I'm skinny, DUH, but far from unhealthy baby...check your facts boo!

That's why I looooove hot pants cause they accentuate the little something something I do have. Which is why I am borderline obsessed with these ah-mazing silver croc shorts from Tunnel Vision, the high thigh cut is perfect and the zipper will suck you all in leaving you looking fine a fuck!

Well lucky for you, you too can experience legs for days since Tunnel Vision is giving away a free pair of silver croc shorts to one of my lucky readers!!!!