Pennsylvania Uber Alles: Fecal Matter Birthday Shower

What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you at a birthday party? Did somebody drop the cake? Did the birthday boy cry when his parents bought him the wrong video game? Did a dog bite your hand while you tried to surreptitiously dispose of your burnt hot dog? Were you merely bored out of your skull?

Well whatever suffering you’ve encountered, it’s nothing—NOTHING—compared to the horrible fate that waited a group of Pennsylvanians celebrating a Sweet 16 in the Philadelphia suburb of Levittown on Friday.

According tolocal news reports, shortly after presenting the cake to the birthday girl, the 40 some guests looked up to discover that a passing airplane had emptied its bowel movement storage tanks and it was now was raining human fecal matter.

In the words of one attendee, “It was brown. It was everywhere. It got on everything.”