As a professional psychic and medium, I assist my clients by passing on the guidance and information I receive from Spirit on their behalf concerning the problems they experience with a view to finding solutions. This month I have précised several readings I did for a client, which we will call Jenny, over a period of time who was concerned about her parenting skills and the effect what she perceived to be a failure was having on her children.

In the first reading, the tarot spread combined with the visions information that came through revealed that this client who was a very intelligent, caring, sensitive yet independent career woman in what she thought she had been in a committed partnership and who had originally wished to be a stay-at-home mum when her first child was born. However, life had not been that easy for this lady who had suffered from baby blues after the birth of both her children, a boy who was coming up to seven at the time of the first reading, and a girl who was a year younger. The father of both of her children had left the family home soon after the birth of his daughter. Since then he had shown little interest in being involved in his children’s upbringing and his maintenance payments were sporadic thus forcing her to return to work when her daughter was one year old.

I then received information regarding this client’s childhood, which itself had been a difficult one despite the fact that she was and is well loved by her parents. As a consequence, Jenny had vowed she would never use the techniques and tactics she had been subjected to as a child when she became a mother herself. Instead, she had put into practice a structure based upon how she would have liked to be treated as a child. However, over the years, this structure had not produced the results that Jenny had expected, which was fundamentally to have two well-behaved children, who did what they were told when they were told to do it.

In the second reading, we worked more in-depth with the information being received from Spirit, it transpired that my client, like many parents of young children, had become mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically exhausted, and the repercussions of this had been that she had lost perspective of her situation without realising it. In this state, new visions showed that Jenny had convinced herself that she must have ruined both her children’s lives due to bad parenting. Such was her fear that she had found herself continually looking for signs of what she considered to be 'mal-adjusted' behaviour in her children.

However, as I continued to work with Spirit on this, I started to receive a very different picture. I saw that both children were very clever, happy, active, aware and inquisitive –lively little tinkers yes, mal-adjusted no. I then saw signs that inferred both children were indigo children since they were very sensitive and aware. Such children often see the world very differently to those around them and this can result in them mentally advanced whilst being slightly emotionally backward due to the fact they haven’t yet learned how to process the ancient knowledge they have brought in with them. With this vision it was apparent that the children were indeed a handful at times and difficult to control. I then saw the little girl needy for cuddles despite the fact she got plenty of them which indicated insecurity, yet she tended to be very focused and determined for her age with signs of resentment developing. Her brother, although he had a very caring side of his nature, more so in fact than his sister, he did have temper tantrums with a tendency to lash out if he didn’t get his own way. Both children were on the go all the time and tended to be very demanding. Even so, this vision again showed that neither child was behaving as badly as the mother had perceived them to be, just more so because of the indigo influence. Spirit then made it clear that both children were doing nothing more than that was testing their parent trying to find out just how much they could get away with whilst finding out about parental boundaries in the process. A process, although normal, can feel to be unrelenting and exhausting for any parent who is being tested.

During the third session, I received a message from Spirit a warning that Jenny was perilously close to creating a self-fulfilling prophecy based upon her fears unless she changed the dynamics of her thinking and thus those with her children. Spirit continued to reveal that a misunderstanding in parenting practices had developed in my clients mind centered around the fact that she had assumed that because Jenny had not treated her children in the way she had been treated by her own parents, her own children would have no cause to rebel or misbehave. Then a vision of how 1950s children on television behaved came in which showed what her expectations were based upon – children who were seen but not heard. As consequence, unbeknown to Jenny, she had slowly but surely raised the behavioural stakes so high they were now verging on being perfect and they were impossible for her or her children to attain. Jenny’s response to this message was to start to place the onus for the problems onto the children and stated that she had failed to understand why both of them were so stubborn and non-cooperative with her when she told them what to do.

As she did so Jenny became upset and went on to say that she was at a loss as to how to proceed with the rearing of her children whose behaviour she was finding more challenging as they grew older. I then received a message from Spirit to let that client know that all she had done was to try to hard, something all good parents to do. There was another shift in Jenny’s energy as a door of realisation opened in her mind and for the first time she was able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. The messages from Spirit continued with one reminding her that she was the adult and as such needed to remember this by accessing and exercising the parental power she had within her to bring both children into line. Then, in an almost confessional mode, Jenny blurted out that she could not shed the feeling that she was a bad parent, she lost her temper with her children more than she should and was concerned that turning into her parents and that one day she would snap and hurt them. A message from Spirit came through reminding Jenny that she had the power to turn this around immediately, to use ‘tough’ love when appropriate was essential when bringing up children but it needed to be tempered with giving love and consistency and she was assured that by employing both she would not snap. Spirit went on to explain that tough love equated to a healthy discipline routine that if consistent would provide stability, therefore consistency since it was the key since it created a secure structure for the children to grow and develop within.

The forth reading showed that Jenny’s energy had shifted since the last time. It was clear that she had started to be able to see through her fears and had been able to acknowledge to herself that in the past she had not been consistent, often due to fatigue, but mostly due to the guilt she carried. The spread showed that Jenny had she felt that she had not provided her children with the fundamentals she thought all children deserved, which is a good start in life. Again, Spirit entered and asked her what did she mean by that phrase ‘a good start in life’ and Jenny answered “a father, with the children being brought up in a two parent family unit”. Another message came through ‘you were brought up in a two parent family unit, were you happier than what you perceive your child to be now?” There was a silence and then I picked up another energy shift after which Jenny answered ‘no’ and she went onto say that compared to her experience as a child, her own children were much happier. With this response it was clear Jenny had made another breakthrough and with it another question from Spirit came through “do you love your children?” Suddenly, Jenny became indignant and answered defiantly, “yes, of course I do’”, and Spirit responded, “then what better start can a child have?”

I felt the attitude had enabled a major shift in my client, and with it I felt a weight come off my clients shoulders. Spirit then went on to explain that all those who bore children were pushed more than once into a place within themselves that they had no idea existed prior to having a child, and that this process was their gift to the parent. Within it resided the power of parenthood referred to earlier, and that Jenny was being asked to recognise and step into this power; a power so great that it enables a parent to recognise and respect that his or her child was a free individual in its own right and not the property of the parent. It was a power so all encompassing that it enabled a parent to carry the responsibility of molding a young, individual child to become a responsible and compassionate adult later on in his or her life. Spirit went on to explain it that parent power was a daunting one because it was reliant upon the parent recognising that his or her child was the parent’s facilitator just as much if not more so than the parent being that of the child. If this aspect wasn’t recognised by the parent, the power could be unwittingly misused, as it had been with her own parents, who were not bad parents since they loved daughter. They were simply parents of their time and they were following the parenting techniques prescribed that time, many of which today are considered to be misguided or unacceptable.

Spirit then went on to remind Jenny that prior to reincarnation, when in our light being states, we chose our parents and that no parent chose their child and that she was to dwell on this issue. Spirit explained that we all learn by example and if a parent was guilt ridden, doubted their abilities or assumed blame when there was no blame to assume, such emotions were transferred the child who is not mentally and emotionally equipped to understand and deal with such concepts. As a consequence, children will make their confusion known by acting out accordingly.

Nor was Jenny to forget the role of individual and family karma, which must also be taken into account without justifying bad parenting when it occurs, to enable all parties concerned to spiritually evolve in the present lifetime or the next. The spread then made clear that when karma is balanced in the present lifetime, such is the power of the parent, it is never too late for a parent to acknowledge his or her failings to their child, or a child for it’s parent. Such an action is testament to the bond of love that exists between parents and their children.

Spirit then assured Jenny that no parent was perfect; that all parents messed it up, one way or another and that it was love that was the ingredient which enables a parent not to expect too much or too little of themselves or their child. Jenny had done much to create a happy balanced environment within which to raise his or her children and that she had laid a loving and caring foundation for her children to be reared from. All she had to do now to bring in a consistency to the ever changing environment brought on by the children growing up and adjust accordingly. In such a loving, stable yet evolving environment, both children knew and felt loved and safe. My client was assured that both single and two parent households could create this state since there are some parents the child is better without. It wasn’t about the number of parents a child has, it is about the parent exercising his or her parental power, a power they are driven in to by their children so that they can draw upon it and as they do, parents learn from their children as they rear them. In other words, parent power enables a parent can teach their children well.

With this last message Jenny experienced a final shift which enabled her to see a way forward for both herself and her children. She recognised that this meant leaving the resentments she had held onto regarding her own upbringing whilst recognising that she needed to relax more with regard to her role as her children’s mother and by doing she could be more consistent with herself therefore her child.

If you want to know more about your relationship with Spirit, feel free to visit my website www.elizabethfrancis.co.uk which offers past life readings as well as a number of services that you may find helpful when dealing with an issue regarding psychic abilities.