Missouri may have some of the lowest cigarette prices in the country, but a new study says the hidden costs of smoking take a million dollars out of Missourians' wallets.

Personal finance website WalletHub calculated how much money smokers lose on health-care costs, income loss and increases in homeowner's insurance costs. The study even analyzes how much money smokers would earn if they invested in stock instead of dropping buckets on cigs.

St. Louis, and especially St. Louis' county suburbs, have been taking a beating in the press since the August 9 killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson. When the national media do manage get St. Louis' complicated geography straight, it's often to tell stories about violence, crime, failing infrastructure and racism.

So the list "Top Thirteen Small Cities in Missouri" from City Described caught our eye this week when it painted a glowing, rhapsodic portrait of this Midwest metropolis that would fill us with pride for our city -- if it weren't full of lies.

No matter the issue, Missouri has always been labeled as a state of two distinct camps: Yankee vs. Confederate, urban vs. rural, Blue state vs. Red, Calvin pissing on a Ford logo/Calvin pissing on a Chevy logo and — most divisive of all — "Missouri" vs. "Missourah."

In reality, though, the Show-Me State is much more nuanced than these polarizing issues suggest. Missouri is comprised of nine distinct states, each with their individual quirks and hangups that remain bonded together in uneasy harmony because, like mentally imbalanced siblings, they're kin. Dammit. (Also, no neighboring states would want them.)

So here it it is, a scientific breakdown of the true Missouris (or is it Missourahs?) based on geography, culture, politics, demographics and a healthy sprinkling of stereotyping.

A bill has been proposed to the Missouri legislature that would make it illegal for anyone to obtain federal records about diseased cows, pigs, and other animals from all farms and factory meat producers in the state.

According to HB 2094, which was introduced by Rep. Jay Houghton, a Republican from Martinsburg, Freedom of Information Act or Missouri Sunshine requests pertaining to animal health or environmental protection data collected by state agencies under the federal Animal Traceability Program (ATP) would be legally denied.

No swords were involved in the actual fight. This is just a "dramatic" reenactment...get it?

It was a long time coming.

At a kindergarten school performance Tuesday night in Cape Girardeau, Kevin Alexander saw fellow Cape Girardeau dad Ryan Steck yank his stepdaughter out of his hand. He didn't appreciate that too much, so he said so.

After a few nasty words were exchanged -- and the children surrounding the two dads likely wondering if they should join in a chorus of "Ooooohhhhhh!" -- Steck allegedly backhanded Alexander and spit on his face, according to the Southeast Missourian.

His disdain for the fashion trend -- inspired by a growing love of seersucker at the Missouri State Capitol -- has apparently backfired. Big time. The so-called seersucker caucus is stronger than ever. And in an increasingly hostile and divided legislature, this may be one of the most powerful, bipartisan group of lawmakers.