Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Jayhawks guitarist Gary Louris graduates from Toledo’s St. Johns High School. In a bold career strategy that can only be described as genius, Louris doesn’t even own an electric guitar until after receiving his college diploma, potentially saving thousands of music admirers and witless bystanders from the shrill cacophony of yet another drooling adolescent tunelessly fumbling with his six-string penis in public.

The prolific songwriter’s decision to hone his craft in semi-obscurity was a wise one, evidenced not only by his vast catalog of passionate and melodic country/rock rock/country tinged-tunes, but also by the sheer number of A-list performers (Dixie Chicks, Kelly Willis, Nickel Creek-among others) that have come calling in recent years, all in hopes that at least some of the secret ingredients comprising G. Louris’ special sauce will stick to their fingers.