Culturista: Your Guide To The Week, From “Weeds” To World UFO Day

Let’s face it: keeping up with pop culture is difficult. With more than 1000 channels worth of TV shows, not to mention a new flood of movies and music every week, it’s practically a full-time job to keep up with everything. Luckily, it is my full-time job. So after the jump, your cheat sheet of the TV shows you need to watch, the albums you need to hear, the movies you need to see, and much, much more this week. Oh, and shall we just dub this the Week of Selena Gomez?On the Small Screen:

“Hot Coffee.” Tonight, 9 p.m. (EST), HBO. Let’s start the week on an educational note, shall we? We all remember that lawsuit a while back when a woman sued McDonald’s because she spilled stupid hot coffee on her legs. Well, after this documentary about how frivolous frivolous lawsuits really are, we see the story in a different light.

“Weeds,” season premiere. Tonight, 10 p.m. (EST), Showtime. Or if educational isn’t your thing, tune in to season seven of “Weeds,” which fast-forwards to Nancy being released from jail and going straight back to her drug-selling ways.

“The Voice” season finale. Wednesday, 8 p.m. (EST), NBC. When we first heard about this “American Idol” rip-off featuring Christina Aguilera, we groaned. Oh man, but it has been so, so much better than its singing contest predecessor (that would be “American Idol”). We have a feeling Adam Levine’s team will win big here.

“Necessary Roughness,” series premiere. Wednesday, 10 p.m. (EST), USA. I have a deep love in my heart for USA’s television series, which are the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. This new one is about a hot therapist who works with athletes. I’m thinking “The Sopranos” meets “Jerry Maguire,” with a lady lead.

On the Big Screen:

“Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” After two previous movies, I know that this won’t be my favorite film of the summer. But I am kind of curious to see if Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can fill Megan Fox’s shoes, err, tank top. In theaters Wednesday.

“Larrry Crowne.” The plot of this one reminds me of “Community.” A down-on-his luck dude gets laid off and enrolls at his local college, where he meets a group of quirky outcasts. Stars Tom Hanks as the dude and Julia Roberts as the professor he falls for. Out Friday.

“Monte Carlo.” It’s a shame that the rebooted “Melrose Place” sucked and it didn’t make Katie Cassidy a star. Maybe this new movie, in which she stars with bigger names Leighton Meester and Selena Gomez, will help? In it, the three play a group of travelers mistaken for British heiresses. Out Friday.

Okay so this weekend’s movie fare kind of sucks. I recommend that you take the opportunity to see “Tree of Life” or “Midnight in Paris” if you haven’t already. Great stuff.

On Your Headphones:

Beyoncé, 4. According to the interwebs last week, Beyoncé’s new album was predicted to be a big ol’ flop. But then she apparently killed it at the Glastonberry Music Festival over the weekend. Let’s hope the later is the better indication of what to expect.

Marianne Faithfull, Horses and High Heels. I am mesmerized by Marianne’s raspy, gravely voice and the knowledge that the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” was written about her. So I am excited to give her new one a try, despite the title that makes me think of My Little Pony borrowing Barbie’s shoes.

Selena Gomez and the Scene, When The Sun Goes Down. Selena Gomez seems to be growing beyond her Disney pedigree, with her tabloid-tugging relationship with Justin and more grown-up sound. I’m actually liking “Love You Like A Love Song,” so let’s hope she doesn’t fall off the deep end like the last generation of teen stars. A new movie and a new album is a lot to handle in a single week.

Dolly Parton, Better Day. Woo -oo! A new Dolly album! But more on this one tomorrow.

Also On Your Radar:

Few things are more glorious about summer than reading a good book while sprawled out on beach towel or on a blanket in the park. And so we are bringing you Crack A Book week.

Did you know that today is National HIV Testing Day? Yeah, getting tested is no fun. But do it anyway!

Live in Chicago? Head on down to Grant Park for the annual Taste of Chicago Festival for some deep-dish pizza and other tongue-tickling joys all week.

You’re well aware that next Monday is the Fourth of July—hello fireworks, BBQs, and day off of work! However, I am also excited for Saturday, aka World UFO Day.

What are you looking forward to this week?

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