Dear Abby 7/28/2013

Dear Abby: My daughter was married recently and has been sending out her thank-you notes. When she checked her registry to determine if all her gifts had been accounted for, she saw that her stepbrother and his wife purchased a gift, but it was not mailed by the department store.

We’re assuming that it was brought to the wedding, but it’s nowhere to be found. How can we resolve this delicate situation? She wants to tell her sister-in-law, but she is concerned it might have been an oversight and be embarrassing. She plans to contact the wedding venue, but it has been three weeks and you’d think if something had been left behind that they would have contacted her. We are also going to check with the friends who packed up the cars. Any other ideas?

— Steve in Florida

Dear Steve: Because your daughter knows a gift was purchased by her stepbrother and his wife, she should ask them how it was to be delivered because it might have been lost en route. Such things have been known to happen, which is why it is always wise to request that a merchant provide proof of delivery.

I doubt the stepbrother and his wife, having gone to the expense of buying something, would have forgotten to give it to your daughter. I also doubt the couple who packed up the gifts would have overlooked one. As to the venue where the wedding was held, one would think that if a package had been left behind they would contact the family that rented the place, if only to protect their reputation.

Dear Abby: I’m a 17-year-old girl who was raised to be polite. When I meet someone, I offer a handshake and a smile and make eye contact. However, I have found that because I’m female, adults — especially men — will go in for a hug even when I offer my hand to shake.

I like hugs, but they make me uncomfortable when they’re from someone I don’t know well, and I find the comments insulting. How do I avoid this awkward moment and respond to the comments?

— Teen in New York

Dear Teen: The next time someone lunges forward, take a step back and say, “I prefer to shake hands!” Say it with a smile and don’t be confrontational, but DO defend your personal space if you feel it is being invaded. It is not impolite to do so.