Parking Lot

no cigarette for me, so far so good. kinda want to kill someone thoo . . i went to get some nicorette but CVS wanted 54.99 for a 100 ct of gum. i said eff that and just tried to buy a poweraid and a thing of hand sanitizer advertised for 99 cents. well it rings up as 2.99, i say it was 99 cents. she says i need a cvs card. i say i dont have one and if she could just slide the complimentary one they usually keep by the register. she says no, i say can you slide yours? she says no.

deep breath just walk away.

what is up with homeless guys somehow always managing to make hand to hand contact with you. i literally dropped some quarters in this guys hand and somehow for some reason he lifts his hands up real quick and we touched hands. wtf. atleast he recognized me and didnt ask for money on my way back.

well, havent had a smoke since oct 5. i was having some real bad days. id get home and go to the bar and pound some ice cold beers. pound them in such a way that it doesnt touch your tongue or mouth just goes straight down and hits the bottom of the throat, it just helped me by doing that.

the dreams have pretty much stopped. i used to have dreams were id be smoking in them, say to myself you shouldnt be smoking your supposed to quit then decide to just finish the pack and re-start quiting tomorrow. id wake up feeling like shit b/c i thought i did smoke and it would take a few moments for me to realize it was just a dream. i still had stayed strong.

man it feels like ive gone alot longer than 5 weeks . .just talking about it now has the bloodveins in my arms getting excited and tingly.

thanks yall, really been easier than i thought. only used regular gum. no way i could have gone this long without having a baby on the way.

so if your serious about quiting, just impregnate someone.

ive gone 2 years quitting before only to restart, seen my older brother go years without only to have him start back up and he has kids so i know you never really quit, its just how long you have stopped.

the alcohol thing, i get alil loose once a week. after working all week, driving through rush hour hell, dealing with an irrational lady, i feel like i can get 4-8 hours to let loose and stop by my neighbor watering holes. shes telling me i have to stop going out and start drinking just a six at the house once the baby is born, which i imagine is the step right before buying a minivan.