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Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Princess Diana: An inspiration.

I consider Princess Diana one of my herons/inspirations. She was worshiped by so many people all her life. In her lifetime she accomplished many great things. She worked on numerous charity projects; she also was one of the most the most photographed people during her lifetime. Diana Spencer was born on July, 1 1961; the youngest daughter of Edward Spencer. She married HRH Prince Charles in 1981, and got divorced in 1996. During her lifetime, she had two children, Prince William and Prince Henry.

She worked tirelessly on helping and trying to improve the life's of others, even though her own short life was tainted with pain and suffering. It was suspected that she also suffered from an emotional vulnerability (BPD).

Her parents divorced when she was young like mine did. The effects of Diana's parents' divorce were certainly traumatic and led to lifelong problems with issues of abandonment, anxiety, and insecurity. Diana often wept before and after public engagements due to both her own high expectations for herself and the public's expectations of her. She was prone to mood swings, bulimia, self-mutilation, lying, and inattention, again just like me. Of course, I dont live in a palace and wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but none the less I can really identify with her.

She was so so beautiful. My mother got married around the same time as her and the resemblance of my mother to Diana was truely remarkable. My parents wedding photos were discared when they divorced, but I managed to beg for few to be saved. I love looking at my mum when she was 23. She was radiant. It helps me to forget all the bad memories I have of her abusive behaviour towards me as an innocent child.

Looking at that picture I can be non judgemental towards her. She had a tremendously difficult life. She fell pregnant at 18, an abomination for a upperclass, Irish catholic girl. She was kicked out of her comfortable house and forced into a home for unmarried mothers. Her whole life was uprooted overnight, no support, total abandonment.

Only if she married my father, her teenage boyfriend, could she be accepted back into her family and have the financial support she so desperately needed.

She married for necessity not for love. It was bound to end badly. Yet she tried so hard to make it work. Despite poverty, abuse and an undiagnosed mental illness (I think) she thought another baby (me) might save the marriage. But the extra strain of another baby was too difficult to handle. A separation happened before my 3rd birthday. My father was absent physically as he was often abroad working (and having affairs seemingly) and my mother was absent emotionally.

Reading about Diana's life reminds me so very much of the pain my mother went through. And looking at pictures of Diana compounds how string both women were.