It's not that women expect you to magically make the first move, it's just that girls are more tactile than men (tactile meaning you speak with your body). This is why women can have a whole bunch of different conversations with eachother while never speaking a word, or get a sense of how things happen or events unfold just based upon body language alone. However, the problem arises out of two things, 1. Because most women are not TRAINED to notice body language, they just do it subconsciously (which is why they have a lot of 'feelings' about things, but never anything definite), and 2. They believe men to be just as tactile, although most men are not. This is why, for a woman, "I'm fine" can mean a hundred different things, while for a man "I'm fine" just means you're fine; and as a result, because women are tactile and expect men to be as well, they read far more into our "I'm Fine"'s than they should, which is why they often get hysterical, because MEN give off the wrong body language and we honestly don't know what's wrong when we think we do, and WOMEN don't understand why they're feeling the way they're feeling but they do and they think we're causing it. And so, when that women at the coffee shop gives you that smile and flirts with you, she thinks she's giving off every hint she can and you're simply not interested, while you, not being tactile, don't get nuances and subtlety and as a result you just think she's just being friendly

In Laymans terms: Everything wrong between a man and a women is just a big, massive misunderstanding

Should my name be relevant? Would you take me any more seriously if I was called "Smertgai" or "TheSage" or "Thatguywhoknowsalotaboutthesethings"? The name, or rather, whoever tells you information should not matter, even those such as Adolph Hitler and Adi Amin have things to teach you when you pay attention

This is **** dude,mabye you get likes here because full of betas but im dude and i can read a bodylang.. girls can read a **** ,you have to have clear head. Woman dont know what they want and their observative skills aro mostly weak(Yea,i mean,that womens outside,like IN REAL LIFE not from the ******* pictures)

You know, if you didn't try so hard to prove you're a 'dominant male', perhaps people would actually believe you when you said you were. Just a thought.

Furthermore, what is it with people who only read half the paragraph? I never said men could not, under any circumstances, read body language; I only stated that women have a natural affinity for it, and even then, without proper discipline they cannot understand it well.

Very few people actually know what they want out of life, that's why the majority of the human race goes through a 'mid-life-crisis'. Knowing what you want comes from self-understanding and personal growth, if you do not know yourself you cannot possibly know what you truly want or why you want it.

Actually, I would say the observation skills of a woman are superior to a man's. If you asked a mother, you'd be very surprised just how many details she keeps track of and how much she notices, v.s. the father of the family

any tips on how I can make a guy I like know it? we have been meeting up once a week for almost 2 months now, always for a drink at the same place. conversation is always enjoyable, rich, and lasts for several hours. honestly never met a guy who i clicked with so well. but no progress! I cant tell if this is just a good friendship or if we are both waiting for the other to make a move. I want him to make the first move, but how do I let him know that he won't be rejected? Please give genuine advice, fj

Just tell him you're interested. Best case: So is he, Worst case: He's flattered but has to decline. Personally I don't believe that telling someone you're romantically interested in him or her will destroy an existing, solid friendship.
If one of my female friends whose friendship i honestly cherish and enjoy told me and I had to reject her why the hell would i dislike or ignore her afterwards? Things might be a little awkward for some time after such an event but a solid friendship should be able to withstand that and get back to normal eventually, in my opinion.

Men work differently than women, of course as you know; and it's fundamental to understand how they work in order to properly prepare and guide yourself through them. In essence, males respond more to ego. They enjoy being the alpha male and in control of the situation (even if you have a male who is quiet and reserved, or enjoys chaotic environments, he is still in his comfort zone and thus master of his own world and controlling it). If you want to impress him, do not hang on his arm, but give him a challenge, give him a REASON to like and appreciate you more than just an emotional cushion, let him know that you have absolute standards and that he has passed them, it'll be a bigger ego boost than giving him a million compliments. Just as well, by doing this you inspire him to keep improving to match your standards, and he will be happier and better for it, which will inspire YOU to improve to keep up, thus a positive relationship is formed based off mutual respect and admiration. Giving anything too easily lessens the value, this includes such things as compliments and sex (pro-tip: Statistically, relationships last longer the longer you withhold sex. That is, for meaningful relationships rather than just purely sexual or passionate ones).

However, men do not like being SHOWN UP in what they enjoy. If you, say, best him at a game he loves and then flaunt it over him, it will only serve to upset. You can still beat him and be better than him at things, just be sportsmanlike about it

Also, there are some boys (yes, boys, because there is a difference between men and boys) who dislike anything resembling superiority or constructive criticism. I would suggest you leave this type of relationship as soon as possible

You have definitely given me a lot to think about! And I really appreciate it. It just annoys me that a whole 'game' has to be played out in these sort of early stages between two people. Im not naturally very flirty, so if I want to do some of the things which you have suggested, I will really have to go out of my comfort zone. But still, thanks for taking the time to explain this 'art-form' to me!

Believe me, life favours those who take plan, examine, and take initiative, this is true in all aspects of life from romance to business. When you go out of your comfort zone, you get an understanding of exactly who you are, and with self-understanding comes growth

It's actually more easy than you think, simply bring up the topic of relationships, he obviously knows you're single so bring that up and go for a compliment (I.E. "Oh well, perhaps I'm just lacking X and X qualities to get a boyfriend"). If he likes you, he will obviously interject and explain that you're more than worthy of a boyfriend and may find one soon, WHEN he says this, simply brush it aside and say "Ya, but I need a man like you, not a boy" and touch his hand lightly. If he's bright, he'll get the message. If not, you should find yourself a better guy

(Note: This is only an example and varying situations will yield varying results, but the principle's the same. Let him know that you are attracted in him and desire a relationship, he should pick up the slack. Or, you could always ask him out yourself and save a lot of time and trouble, plus I'm sure he'd be really pleased)

No, I'm assuming he's willing to follow up on HER first move. If you are afraid or unwilling to take initiative, that's fine, but be aware that opportunities (and not just in relationships, but even such things regarding business, or learning, or adventure) will not wait for you, and others more daring and bold will latch onto them quite quick. Life favours those who are prepared to go the extra mile and take an extra leap

That's my brother right there in a nutshell. I love him but he is absolutely socially retarded.

I brought him to a blacklight party that a couple of my friends were having. My brother is physically attractive I would say based on the amount of strange(as in strangers not as in odd) ladies have approached him in one form or another. However, my brother can't strike a conversation for the life of him and he generally just comes off as retarded. Anyway, in the party he was hanging out in a corner just taking in the sites when a 7/10 approaches him. She starts trying to strike up a conversation and after that doesn't go too well(again socially retarded) she tells him "This party is getting pretty lame... I really just wish somebody would take me away from here".
My brother isn't even making eye contact with her and is just idly nodding his head in agreement through their "conversation" but after she said that his response was "Yeah, that's too bad that you don't have a ride or anything" full stop.

Oddly enough, I think your comment just made me realize that I associate higher levels of reliance on body language and other forms of non-verbal communication with higher levels of insecurity and incompatibility for some reason.

True. I used to be able to read all the signs in body language relatively well (at least in my opinion) and that in part netted me a fantastic relationship with an ex-girlfriend for a year and a half that I ended up breaking off. After getting with another girl who sends the most infuriating mixed signals imaginable, I now realize that I just haven't ******* cared at all about that stuff because when I do now I just get ****** by mixed signals, even though non-verbal communication is really important with most women. I need to focus on that stuff more again.

Thank you sir. I used to be able to work incredibly well with body language and enjoy it thoroughly in conversation, but recent events have changed that somehow. I need to rethink my thought processes regarding how I interact with women.

Any differences like those you mentioned derive from social imprint, and don't have anything to do with the biology of the sexes.
It's more of an individual quality that differs from person to person, rather than something determined by your gender or sex.
Flirting is very different between cultures and what type of person you are. You can be very straight-forward with it, and you can be very subtle, no matter the sex. For example, haven't you heard any of the countless stories from insecure guys on the internet that talk about how they really like a girl, but she doesn't seem to understand or respond to his advances? You shouldn't be excused for flirting too subtly just because you have a vagina, and you shouldn't be blamed for not being able to pick up on the subtlety because you have a penis.

And same applies for responding vaguely or dishonestly to the question "are you okay?" or "how are you?" A person who wants to hide their true feelings can be of either sex/gender just the same, and whether or not the other person seems to pick up on it mostly depends on how convincing you were, or if they just want to give you space.

Incorrect. Women, biologically, have less testosterone and are more submissive (at least most of them are), this means that through the years, instead of having up-front and brunt conversations, as they either lacked the skill, will, or authority for that, they depended upon an ability to 'read' someone's actions and be more scheming rather than brutal. Also, if you noticed, I didn't say that every woman is like that, they just have a natural affinity for it

You're right, flirting is different between cultures, but flirting is not the main point of my paragraph.

I'm not trying to excuse anyone, and honestly I couldn't care less, I just noticed people were having trouble and so I thought it would help. Again, nothing I said is concrete, and can easily be changed with a bit of discipline and understanding. And in the scenario given, we're assuming everyone is telling the truth. It's just an example, after-all

Ultimately, we control our own behavior, and if anything, social imprint is a much bigger reason behind the kind of behavior you mentioned. Our differing hormones don't have that high of an effect on us, and I think it's pretty far off to say that "most" girls are more submissive. I never support that one's gender or sex would the reason behind certain behavior. The phrases "I'm a girl, so I'm allowed to [insert irrationality]" and "boys will be boys" really peeve me.

Yes we do, but we also have instincts (instincts that have been honed and drilled into our heads for thousands upon thousands of years). Civilization is actually quite recent, and it boomed very quickly, our instincts still have some time before they can catch up. But I'm not saying it, biology is. Testosterone is a major factor in why many men are daring and aggressive, and women simply have less of it than men do, there's nothing wrong with that, nor am I claiming any sex is weaker than the other. And with good reason, gender shouldn't be used as an excuse for behaviour, but the truth is the truth and the truth is that boys and girls' behaviour are, in fact, different. That's just how it is, but again, with understanding and discipline, we can evolve beyond it

On average, men's and women's behaviors are different from each other, yes. And yes, I'm not saying that our hormones don't have any effects on us. However, here's the crunch; you very much underestimate society's impact on us, and leave too much to be explained by hormones. If you see a pumped up, fight-friendly guido in a night club, up in another guy's face, would you seriously think "ah, yes, what a fine specimen of the male human. Let's see which male will end up the victor"? Everything from him being a guido to him being violent is the result of how he most likely hangs around with other violent people, and has probably been taught all the way from his childhood in one way or another that he should be violent to be seen as a manly man, or to get women. Someone who has had a much less violence-endorsing childhood than he, will more than likely grow up to be a lot more passive and rational in their behavior.

Another thing would be, if you look at tomboys who were raised by older brothers, that even though their estrogen levels aren't different from other girls', they still act masculinely, simply because of their environment. Vice versa as well with brothers growing up with sisters.

Again, I know that hormones have somewhat of those effects on behavior, but unless we're talking about people with really abnormal levels of a hormone, then we are simply beyond that nowadays, and social imprint has taken over. You seem to agree that people who act opposite of what they're "supposed to" based on their hormones, are results from social influence. We differ in that I strongly believe the same goes for the other way around, and that we are born blank slates, but you believe our hormones predestine how we behave if you take away social influence. I may be a bit off in if that's what believe, and if so, I'm sorry.

Anyway, I honestly don't think we'll get anywhere with this, so I say we should just drop it.

I know full well the effect of society's impact and also take it into account, but I also believe that instincts and hormones that have been honed for millions of years beat the effects of social rearing, seeing as society changes VERY frequently

That's very true, but that also leaves a lot unexplained. There are some kids who grow up in great homes, yet deliberately go out and cause trouble. There are others raised around killing and crime who grow up to make great changes for the better. Environment and social standing don't make and break what kind of a person you are, rather, they just offer experiences that you interpret in your own specific way

That's not totally true. When faced with competition and clashes, testosterone levels increase regardless of whether you are male or female (while oestrogen levels stay the same).

Indeed I do believe that. I never said hormones predestine the way we behave or are, I just believe that you are born with certain imprinting already intact, I.E. you interpret things a certain way, everyone does individually, regardless of how they are raised, every situation you are faced with and everything you get from these situations just depends on how you choose to interpret it (as you CAN also change how you interpret it, but it still must be that way). In that sense, a truly good person will be good no matter what hardships while a truly evil person will be evil no matter what blessings, some people just see and comprehend differently. It's alright

Alright i'm going to interject here cause i want you to understand that behaviors that are shown in todays society are social imprints. Testosterone does lead to aggression but that does not mean that having less will leave you to be submissive. Also if it were not for the distinction that is given from society's pressure, women would not be submissive. To make sure you understand that even today we give off societal pressure to women, as children girls are judged by others (even younger girls) as weird if they don't want to play with dolls but instead want to go outside and play in mud. Not to mention that when a woman rejects a man she cannot blatantly reject his advances without being called a bitch when the man tells others that he was rejected by her. Women today have been raised with the idea of differences between a mans behavior and woman's behavior. Obviously there are differences between men and women biologically but you can't say that it's due to instinct and testosterone

I do understand that, but behaviours are also caused by biology and environmental situations. Place someone in a stressful environment and their behaviour changes rapidly, even messing with someone's belief system will do this. Testosterone leads to aggressive action and a competitive drive, it is also the foundation for these things (and no, testosterone is not only limited to males, females have it as well, although usually in smaller amounts. This can be changed easily as well, as testosterone, just like with adrenaline, increases or decreases based upon the situation you are in. A calming scenario requires less testosterone, while a hectic or challenging one will produce more of it. But please keep in mind I never said it was the 'make and break'. And yes it does mean that, when you lack a competitive or motivational drive, you become submissive in nature, that's simply how it works. Submissiveness is simply the lack OF drive).

You seem to believe my paragraph was about how women are fundamentally flawed, while it was not. My paragraph and argument has absolutely nothing to do with the 'restrictions and oppression of women', nor do I care about it. I was simply explaining that women are more tactile than men, they are more tactile naturally because most women do not seek out conflict, rather avoiding it (for whatever reason this is, is of no concern of mine), they do not seek it out because they have naturally lower testosterone levels than most men, but this can be changed easily. If you notice, nothing in my argument is an 'end all', EVERYTHING has variables and every rule has its exceptions, but arguing over semantics does absolutely nothing and is a complete waste of time

I would not use the term submissive in this instance then, because to be submissive is to give in and become obedient. If anything you should use Passive because they won't as likely driven by aggression as often. My whole point in my paragraph was to not show the oppression of women because that would be for a different topic. It was all over your usage of submissiveness. Women aren't submissive due to their lower testosterone they are submissive due to the fact they are raised to be submissive and act in certain ways. That was my whole argument. You may be lacking drive but that does not automatically mean you are submissive you just are a passive existence.

Thank you very much. It's actually part of a book I'm writing. The first chapter is about how to get sexual/passionate relationships with the opposite (or same) sex, the second chapter (incomplete) is about fighting/conquest, and how to win any battle whether in a personal fight or on a battle-field

Every chapter is broken into two parts, one, how it works, two, how you make it work FOR you

Its just, now i know that not only is it my lack of knowledge when it comes to women that i got going against me, but a fundamental inability to understand them. Kinda just kicks my depression over the issue into overdrive.

And what's being depressed about it gonna do? Look, you don't have a fundamental inability to understand women, ANYONE can learn how, women just have an affinity for it (and on that note, they don't even know how to do it properly, which will make YOU look more impressive once you learn how). Just be more confident and don't over analyse situations

Truth is truth is truth, and as bad as some of it is, ignoring it and letting it get to you does nothing. The most you can do, and SHOULD do, is understand it and work with it

everybody always uses that word, "confident... confident.... just gotta be confident", confidence is not my issue... i do not understand what it takes to make a woman desire me as a man. I can talk to women just fine, have a nice conversation about something or talk about a show on tv, but i honestly don't know what to say or do to get women to find me attractive... i stand on the side lines and watch other guys talk to them and i just don't understand how they do it... its like trying to use a 2 in binary code, it just doesn't work

And what makes it just so much ******* worse is (and i honsetly mean no offense) every guy gives me the same ******** advice, "Be confident"

Because you're not getting it right, and very few people do. Do you respect yourself? Are you happy with yourself? Do you enjoy your own company? No? Then why should anybody else? When you act this way around women, or around anybody, are you doing it because it's really you? Or are you just doing it because you think it's what they want?

You seem like a good person, but you are far too short-sighted. You should not, cannot, focus on romance and love NOW before the rest of your life is sorted out, and if you do, it will be doomed to fail. Do you just want to get some action, get laid? Well then change your surroundings, improve yourself, go on an adventure, you will see just how quickly you change and others will notice it too, and more-so, you will be far more attractive to anyone you meet along the way of your adventure (there's something like a lifted weight when you go to a different place to have fun, because it's highly unlikely you will meet many of these people again and thus you become more daring and decisive, which is a great quality in someone wise enough to handle them properly

It's not ******** advice, you just have a ******** mind-set. Sort your life out, get your priorities in order, aim for them with everything you have. You'll see just how quickly everything, including love, organizes itself

Man you just don't get it. Im not looking to just get laid, and if you knew me in real life you know that im the last of people to go on an "Adventure". Those things just aren't me. I'm comfortable with myself and in the past 2 years i've made great strides in life. I become more social (i was a bit of an introvert still my junior year of high school), i got into the college i wanted, and i even got the internship i wanted this summer. My priorities are just fine and my life is getting better everyday.

I just always am reminded of that story from ancient greek mythology when i see a happy couple. Of how humans used to have 4 legs and arm and 2 head, but zues split us in two and now we wander the earth looking for our other half. Now i'm a pretty patient easy going guy, i like to take things in stride and not get over-whelmed by little annoyances. But seeing them so happy and knowing that i may never find my other half... i just want to find my god damned other half already.

Alright real talk advice right now? The thing is that you're not gonna find a girl to just instantly like you (at least i haven't). The ways i have found to get a girl interested changes every time because women always differ. The best advice i can give to you is to continue just talking with a girl and make sure you joke around her and smile a lot. If you can talk to them normally and bring up conversations that they are interested in they will become more interested in you. Also keep them on the edge of their seats, you don't have to be spontaneous where you do something different everytime but don't be someone that they will assume to understand just after a few conversations. Being confident is just stupid advice, what you have to do if be true to your character but myserious as well. Don't lie to yourself to make you seem better and don't try to lie to them about who you are. I'm hitting the character limit but let me know whether this was kinda what you were lookin for

No, it seems you're the one who's just not getting it. I couldn't care less what type of person you are or what motives you have, what I care about is you following your ambitions. Everyone wants to find someone they are totally comfortable with, wanna know why so many divorces happen? Why love just dies so many times? It's because people rush into it, believing that once you fall in love it'll be a happy ending, but life doesn't work like that. If you are not happy now, you will NOT be happy in a relationship, you may seem happy, you may even convince yourself it's great, but sooner or later that high will come back down and reality will hit you hard. What you NEED is to find something to devote your energies to. Be more outgoing, join a group or a club, force yourself out of your comfort circle, you will be amazing just how many great people you meet and how many of them want to stay by your side

You say that you've gone through all this work and effort to find your other half, yet the one thing you're unwilling to do is take chances. Just plan, have a fall back, then go for it. The worst that can happen is you get a story to tell

You're absolutely right, people who don't mean it when they say 'I'm fine' simply don't feel like burdening another with their problems. Than again, that's not what we're talking about, is it? What I'm saying is males are far more upfront about how they feel and what they want, while women are more subtle

You should also be aware that only 30% of conversation is actually verbal, the rest has to do with things such as body language to even eye movements. You can learn a lot from someone just by watching how they move or the sound of their voice, or their mannerisms. Perhaps you should do some research on your own, rather than refuting my logical paragraph based upon how you feel about it