Afraid of Change?

Are you afraid of change? I am learning to embrace it and wanted to share my thoughts with you.I will admit that when I’ve made plans to do something and those plans got disrupted?I fight change.Which in hindsight is always silly because those plans being disrupted always brings about a better change then what I had planned anyway.Even if I don’t see the immediate results in that moment.Let me tell you a story.

Recently, our church went through a HUGE change. Our city and the neighboring city comprised our geographical area which was broken into several smaller areas that met together on Sundays. Due to new housing projects and just the changing of times it became necessary to change those geographical boundaries and let me tell you, there was serious resistance to these plans.

Some families had been in the same area for 20-30 years and did not like the idea of being moved around. Me? When I first heard there was going to be a change my heart leapt in excitement! I immediately felt like it was the right thing to do and couldn’t wait to hear the changes. Now here we are 6 months later and some people are still griping, moaning, and complaining about being “plucked from there area and dropped into another one”. Keep in mind, NOBODY MOVED. Everyone is still living in their same house. It’s not like they lost a neighbor and would never see them again. They just met with new people on Sundays.

But sometimes change is hard and we don’t want to accept it, right?

These past few weeks I have attended conferences and trainings and read books that have shifted my mindset about several things that I wanted to share with you today.

The first is the mindset of abundance in my life. This inspiration came from Lisa Nichols who is the owner of Motivating the Masses and author of Abundance Now. This gal is from South Central LA, was pregnant and then her baby’s father went to jail for a life term. She had every reason to not feel abundance. We would not blame her for wanting to just sit and wallow in it. It would be her just due.

But she didn’t sit and wallow in it. She got food stamps once and was so humiliated and embarrassed by it she determined that would never happen to her again. She did not want to feel that way again. It took time, but she made a mindset shift that changed her life and the life of not only her son, but her entire family.

Here’s the kicker with Lisa…she started thinking abundantly when her and her son were in a tiny apartment eating beans and franks and they played as if they were the best chefs in the world. You absolutely must THINK it before it becomes a reality. That reality? Lisa now owns a publicly traded company and her son is a French Chef. Mindset Matters!

The other mindset shift is service. WE DO NOT have to render service on a grand scale to make it count. You do not have to be equivalent to Mother Teresa to make it count. It doesn’t have to be covered on the local or national news to make it count, but service is a mindset shift that absolutely needs to happen. Service keeps us humble and connected, period.

Please, please, please try service out in your own backyard. I’m not even talking about your neighbor’s backyard although that would be the next obvious step. I’m talking about right inside the walls of your own home. How can you be of service to your spouse? Your children? Your parents?

Lately I have felt that I needed to serve my husband more. He is crazy awesome and supports me through ANY endeavor I am currently pursuing. He not only encourages me, but actively listens and is supporting in all that I do. I could never repay his kindness, but I wanted him to feel just as supported as he made me feel.

Eddy is the dishwasher in our family so I’ve made it a point to help with the dishes more over the last few weeks. I’ve tried to walk the dogs a few times per week as that is his other chore. I even went as far as bringing him breakfast in bed last weekend and lunch to him when he was up relaxing that same afternoon. It yields great results! Just his smile warms my heart and makes me happy!

Let’s go back to the boundary changes at church. How could that have been made easier for all involved? MINDSET SHIFTS! Instead of saying, poor me and what will I lose by this we need to say, WOW! This is so exciting! I’m not moving anywhere so I still get to keep my same friends and neighbors and then have the opportunity to meet people I’ve never met before. I will be able to not only learn and grow myself, but be able to support others on this new journey. What a wonderful thing to happen in my lifetime!

What if we feel we are lacking in abundance? MINDSET SHIFT! Gratitude is your first line of defense. Start be feeling grateful for what you have. Have a roof over your head? You are in abundance! Have food and clothing? You are in abundance! Start with what you have first and then create the mindset that you can be in greater abundance to achieve greater abundance. You have to THINK it before it becomes a reality.

Feel guilty about not doing a grand gesture of service? MINDSET SHIFT! Start in your own backyard. There is always, always, always service to be rendered in some small way. Smile. Hold your tongue when you want to say something critical. Make your teenager’s bed one day this week. Bake cookies just for the heck of it. Take your family on a bike ride or make s’mores in your fireplace! The sky’s the limit, folks!

Whatever you decide to change in your mindset this week, I hope you try it out and come back and share your results here. My goal is help you in your journey. To make plans for your next chapter and then rock those plans like crazy! Wishing you hope and empowerment…

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No TV. Ok, well I do own a TV and am honestly a huge movie buff with lots of movies and some sitcoms, but I do not have a cable network of any kind. No channels. No commercials. Been that way for over 20 years now. I still get hooked on sitcoms! I owned every season of Gilmore Girls and if Agents of Shield has a season on DVD, I’ve bought it and watched it in marathon order over a couple of weeks (if it lasts that long).

My current addiction is Arrow. In a recent episode I learned the origins of the character, Felicity Smoak. (Third Season in case any of you are Arrow buffs, too) While it wasn’t anything too horrific…think Bimbo mom and illegal computer hacking stuff, it was something that she was embarrassed and ashamed of.

One of the point’s I’d like to make is that we all have things in our past that we are both embarrassed or ashamed of. The first of those are the decisions that we have no control over. Felicity did not choose her mom or her circumstances growing up. The second are decisions we make that may cause shame as we see them as mistakes or just plain ugly bad choices. In Felicity’s example it was creating a super crazy computer virus from her college hacker days and nearly spending her life in prison.

But where is she now? Working for a millionaire dude (who’s handsome and sexy by the way) and The Arrow as a computer genius who is calm under pressure, knows her stuff inside and out, and has made herself indispensable. She is also friendly and is loved by just about everyone who meets her (except the bad guys, of course).

Which brings me to my second point. Her upbringing and her so-called “mistakes” brought her to this part of her life. Her life is not without mistakes now and it’s not perfect, but those life experiences made her who she is today. They shaped her into the woman she has become.

Your life up to this point has made you who you are today. Right now in this present moment. Who are you? Where did you come from and where are you going? I’ve been pondering a lot about this lately in my own life.

This is WHO I WAS:

I believe my upbringing was pretty darn good. My mom taught me to choose the right and how to be strong. She showed me that she was human and made mistakes like everyone else. I learned to ride horses, ride a bike, and do good in school. I loved to read and compete in spelling bees! In unfortunate typical fashion, my parents were divorced when I was 11 and my mom re-married a wonderful man with 5 boys. As per usual in most divorced families, it’s just tough. Tough to figure out your identity, tough to reconcile your mom and dad not being together. Tough to adjust to doubling your family size and learning to get along with not only 2 brothers, but 7! (It’s just a flat out miracle that mom was never committed to a looney bin. She gets huge props for that.).

Imagine 9 kids; 7 boys and 2 girls all under the age of 11. I know I had it tough, but my mom and step-dad are down-right saints in my book. We were all on the local swim team and all of us did some kind of sports. I remember doing basketball for 6 years, soccer for 3 and swim team for 3. I was also in the band with a killer marching ensemble for parades and half-time shows. My parents did the best they could and honestly, even though I might not have agreed with my mom and dad’s “parenting skills” (what child does??) if I had followed their advice, my life would have turned out better than the decisions I made for myself.

The rest is all me. I made my bed and I laid in it. Every good and bad decision was up to me. It still is. I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned that I love to work outside the home. I love the challenge of new opportunities. I’ve been a property manager, an Ombudsman to a Naval Ship during the 9/11 conflict, worked for the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society, made burgers as the Drive-Thru Queen of Burger King (age 18, cut me some slack for that one), lasted one whole week at Taco Bell, sold MaryKay and Pampered Chef, and yes, even the dreaded Amway for a spell. I’ve owned my own business for a lot of years and was even a stay-at-home mom 9 years straight which was the hardest “job” I’ve ever had in my life.

I’ve been married more than a few times with the common denominator of failure always being me in those relationships. My two older kids are no doubtedly scarred for life due to my inability to have, find, and keep good marriage relationships. While it is not an easy thing to talk about or simply admit, it is most definitely part of my past that made me who I am today.

This is WHO I AM:

I am in a beautiful marriage relationship with my best friend and hero, Eddy. He has given me a safe place to grow and learn about myself and who I have the potential to become. I will forever be indebted to him.

I love to sing. I like to knit and hate to scrapbook. I love riding my mountain bike and I love to cook. I like making my house feel like a home where anyone that comes in will feel comfortable and at ease. I stink at keeping green things alive. Many a plant has died at my hands over the years. I love to read Louis L’amour and I love to watch action movies and chick flicks. I love to speak with people and connect with them. I love the mountains, but don’t much care for the beach.

I believe in God and love my church family because they show love to me unconditionally. I am a WFPB health crusader (yes, I eat plants and yes, I get enough protein). I have two dogs that are sweet as pie. They are both black and both boys. It seemed only fair as I have three daughters and my hubby was the only testosterone representative in the house. I love making goals and then checking them off my list. Did I mention I was a list-maker? I LOVE LISTS! The best part of my lists is marking the things off I’ve accomplished.

Some of my favorite things are freshly cleaned sheets, new pillows, the sound of the dishwasher or dryer running, Kelly Rae Roberts, my courtyard fountain, the smell of jasmine in full bloom, Brooks Cascadia trail-running shoes, and getting packages in the mail.

This is WHO I AM BECOMING:

First and foremost, I am always working on being more kind and being of service. First to my husband and children, then my neighbors and then my community and ultimately the world. I’m also working on being more cheerful and not complaining so much about bad drivers. 🙂

I’ve recently started collecting pull-over hoodies…don’t know if that trend will stick, but it seemed worth mentioning.

I want to learn how to pop a wheelie on my mountain bike. I want to replace the rest of my VHS tapes with DVD’s. I want to take a trip to Whistler and ride some killer trails up there. I want to find out who my Gram’s biological parents were as she was adopted at age 5.

I want to write a book, public speak to women who need a confidence boost and power uplift in their lives. I want to do a weekly podcast starting in February of 2016 to support these same women to help them believe they are capable of more than they think.

I just had to highlight this last paragraph in orange because I’ve accomplished it since I wrote this post in October of 2015. My book came out in 2018 and the podcast is now over 2 years old – go me! I would like to do more speaking to women, but I have done that as well. Setting goals is oh so important! Party in the house right now after reading this again!!!

Oh, and I want to own a Model X Tesla…

Please comment below and tell me some things you already know about yourself. Be proud!

This wooden plaque sits on my desk and was given to me by my middle daughter, Dayle. It is a constant reminder that to do big things, it takes a hundred small steps to get there. Because Lauri’s Lemonade Stand is a new venture for me and I took a leave of absence to get it started, I was really worried about bringing in income in a timely manner. Really worried. It wasn’t until I was confronted with a business coach about it that I realized I needed to remember my “why” in starting this journey to begin with. My goal is to be of service to women, period.

My plan is to do that by using three main hubs: Speaking, Writing, and Podcasting.

My podcast is meant to be a hub of beautiful, talented, knowledgeable women whom I interview to bring about change in you or to just hear a romantic love story, or even a tragic one so that we realize we are not alone in our journey. Some of them are just plain fun like learning how to geocache from Irene Thomas. Most are inspirational and motivating to the hilt.

My speaking is geared towards women in which I tell a bit about my story and then give actionable tips to put into practice right now to get up, get moving, and be your own best friend in finding your “Happy Middle”.My writing is simply creative joy and pleasure for me. I love to write about what I’m thinking or review someone else’s thinking for that matter.All this said, I was worried about money. After my little confrontation and remembering my “why” (to serve you!), I decided that I would make 2017 my year of service. I would simply go out and serve. I would find the best of the best to interview on my podcast, do 10 FREE speeches this year, and continue to write my blog and work on my first book.The moment (I mean the very moment down to the second) I made that decision, a burden was lifted and I felt free from the pressures of making money this first year and just be a volunteer of service doing what I do best – connecting with other women to help them into the next chapter of their lives.

And this is where it gets interesting…about 2 1/2 weeks after making that decision I’ve all of a sudden been approached by three different companies on joint venture programs. What?? You mean all I had to do was let go? By taking that first step of service towards others, and deciding to make this my year of service, all of a sudden windows and doors are opening that I had no idea would happen.

Small adjustments, small changes make the difference. Learning a new perspective, taking baby steps towards your goal. Letting go and doing small things with Great Love make all the difference.