One battalion doth not an army make

Britain has announced that the deployment of a mixed battalion to the Russian border is to be increased. Cpl Jones has now returned to duty from paternity leave, and Rfn Hawkeye’s hernia repair has been successful. The pair will deploy-out to Poland within the week. An additional GPMG has been released from store and will leave with the next BFPO consignment from Amazon.Defence experts were warning of overstretch as the RAF still has three aircraft in Syria, and the Navy’s destroyer patrols the seas between the Western Approaches and the Norwegian Gap. At a Naval conference in London attended by all 73 Admirals, the government was called upon to increase the number of flag officers by 10% to counter the Russian threat. “Russia has over 100 Admirals” said a spokesperson “and the Royal Navy is committed to achieving parity by 2020″. Retired Armoured Brigade commander Gen Smallbit also called for both of the Brigade’s tanks to be sent to Poland, subject to Number Two’s pneumatic starter being replaced. The vital part is expected to be delivered by Amazon in the next few days.

Con Coughlin, commenting at an MoD journalists lunch said “It’s bloody soul destroying. We’re doing our best to talk-up a war, but the public can’t be arsed. Whether it’s ‘Bake Off’, ‘Strictly’ or they just won’t be spooked by us any more I don’t know”.