Padua. Lucentio's house

Lucentio

At last, though long, our jarring notes agree:And time it is, when raging war is done,To smile at scapes and perils overblown.My fair Bianca, bid my father welcome,While I with self-same kindness welcome thine.Brother Petruchio, sister Katharina,And thou, Hortensio, with thy loving widow,Feast with the best, and welcome to my house:My banquet is to close our stomachs up,After our great good cheer. Pray you, sit down;For now we sit to chat as well as eat.

Petruchio

Nothing but sit and sit, and eat and eat!

Baptista

Padua affords this kindness, son Petruchio.

Petruchio

Padua affords nothing but what is kind.

Hortensio

For both our sakes, I would that word were true.

Petruchio

Now, for my life, Hortensio fears his widow.

Widow

Then never trust me, if I be afeard.

Petruchio

You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense:I mean, Hortensio is afeard of you.

Widow

He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.

Petruchio

Roundly replied.

Katharina

Mistress, how mean you that?

Widow

Thus I conceive by him.

Petruchio

Conceives by me! How likes Hortensio that?

Hortensio

My widow says, thus she conceives her tale.

Petruchio

Very well mended. Kiss him for that, good widow.

Katharina

'He that is giddy thinks the world turns round:'I pray you, tell me what you meant by that.

Widow

Your husband, being troubled with a shrew,Measures my husband's sorrow by his woe:And now you know my meaning,

Katharina

A very mean meaning.

Widow

Right, I mean you.

Katharina

And I am mean indeed, respecting you.

Petruchio

To her, Kate!

Hortensio

To her, widow!

Petruchio

A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.

Hortensio

That's my office.

Petruchio

Spoke like an officer; ha' to thee, lad!

Drinks to Hortensio

Baptista

How likes Gremio these quick-witted folks?

Gremio

Believe me, sir, they butt together well.

Bianca

Head, and butt! an hasty-witted bodyWould say your head and butt were head and horn.

Vincentio

Ay, mistress bride, hath that awaken'd you?

Bianca

Ay, but not frighted me; therefore I'll sleep again.

Petruchio

Nay, that you shall not: since you have begun,Have at you for a bitter jest or two!

Bianca

Am I your bird? I mean to shift my bush;And then pursue me as you draw your bow.You are welcome all.

Exeunt Bianca, Katharina, and Widow

Petruchio

She hath prevented me. Here, Signior Tranio.This bird you aim'd at, though you hit her not;Therefore a health to all that shot and miss'd.

Tranio

O, sir, Lucentio slipp'd me like his greyhound,Which runs himself and catches for his master.

Petruchio

A good swift simile, but something currish.

Tranio

'Tis well, sir, that you hunted for yourself:'Tis thought your deer does hold you at a bay.

Baptista

O ho, Petruchio! Tranio hits you now.

Lucentio

I thank thee for that gird, good Tranio.

Hortensio

Confess, confess, hath he not hit you here?

Petruchio

A' has a little gall'd me, I confess;And, as the jest did glance away from me,'Tis ten to one it maim'd you two outright.

Baptista

Now, in good sadness, son Petruchio,I think thou hast the veriest shrew of all.

Petruchio

Well, I say no: and therefore for assuranceLet's each one send unto his wife;And he whose wife is most obedientTo come at first when he doth send for her,Shall win the wager which we will propose.

Hortensio

Content. What is the wager?

Lucentio

Twenty crowns.

Petruchio

Twenty crowns!I'll venture so much of my hawk or hound,But twenty times so much upon my wife.

Lucentio

A hundred then.

Hortensio

Content.

Petruchio

A match! 'tis done.

Hortensio

Who shall begin?

Lucentio

That will I. Go, Biondello, bid your mistress come to me.

Biondello

I go.

Exit

Baptista

Son, I'll be your half, Bianca comes.

Lucentio

I'll have no halves; I'll bear it all myself.

Re-enter Biondello

How now! what news?

Biondello

Sir, my mistress sends you wordThat she is busy and she cannot come.

Petruchio

How! she is busy and she cannot come!Is that an answer?

Gremio

Ay, and a kind one too:Pray God, sir, your wife send you not a worse.

Petruchio

I hope better.

Hortensio

Sirrah Biondello, go and entreat my wifeTo come to me forthwith.

Exit Biondello

Petruchio

O, ho! entreat her!Nay, then she must needs come.

Hortensio

I am afraid, sir,Do what you can, yours will not be entreated.

Re-enter Biondello

Now, where's my wife?

Biondello

She says you have some goodly jest in hand:She will not come: she bids you come to her.

Petruchio

Worse and worse; she will not come! O vile,Intolerable, not to be endured!Sirrah Grumio, go to your mistress;Say, I command her to come to me.

Exit Grumio

Hortensio

I know her answer.

Petruchio

What?

Hortensio

She will not.

Petruchio

The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.

Baptista

Now, by my holidame, here comes Katharina!

Re-enter Katarina

Katharina

What is your will, sir, that you send for me?

Petruchio

Where is your sister, and Hortensio's wife?

Katharina

They sit conferring by the parlor fire.

Petruchio

Go fetch them hither: if they deny to come.Swinge me them soundly forth unto their husbands:Away, I say, and bring them hither straight.

Exit Katharina

Lucentio

Here is a wonder, if you talk of a wonder.

Hortensio

And so it is: I wonder what it bodes.

Petruchio

Marry, peace it bodes, and love and quiet life,And awful rule and right supremacy;And, to be short, what not, that's sweet and happy?

Baptista

Now, fair befal thee, good Petruchio!The wager thou hast won; and I will addUnto their losses twenty thousand crowns;Another dowry to another daughter,For she is changed, as she had never been.

Petruchio

Nay, I will win my wager better yetAnd show more sign of her obedience,Her new-built virtue and obedience.See where she comes and brings your froward wivesAs prisoners to her womanly persuasion.

Re-enter Katharina, with Bianca and Widow

Katharina, that cap of yours becomes you not:Off with that bauble, throw it under-foot.

Widow

Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh,Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

Bianca

Fie! what a foolish duty call you this?

Lucentio

I would your duty were as foolish too:The wisdom of your duty, fair Bianca,Hath cost me an hundred crowns since supper-time.

Bianca

The more fool you, for laying on my duty.

Petruchio

Katharina, I charge thee, tell these headstrong womenWhat duty they do owe their lords and husbands.

Widow

Come, come, you're mocking: we will have no telling.

Petruchio

Come on, I say; and first begin with her.

Widow

She shall not.

Petruchio

I say she shall: and first begin with her.

Katharina

Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,And dart not scornful glances from those eyes,To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,And in no sense is meet or amiable.A woman moved is like a fountain troubled,Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;And while it is so, none so dry or thirstyWill deign to sip or touch one drop of it.Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,And for thy maintenance commits his bodyTo painful labour both by sea and land,To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;And craves no other tribute at thy handsBut love, fair looks and true obedience;Too little payment for so great a debt.Such duty as the subject owes the princeEven such a woman oweth to her husband;And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,And not obedient to his honest will,What is she but a foul contending rebelAnd graceless traitor to her loving lord?I am ashamed that women are so simpleTo offer war where they should kneel for peace;Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway,When they are bound to serve, love and obey.Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,But that our soft conditions and our heartsShould well agree with our external parts?Come, come, you froward and unable worms!My mind hath been as big as one of yours,My heart as great, my reason haply more,To bandy word for word and frown for frown;But now I see our lances are but straws,Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,And place your hands below your husband's foot:In token of which duty, if he please,My hand is ready; may it do him ease.

Petruchio

Why, there's a wench! Come on, and kiss me, Kate.

Lucentio

Well, go thy ways, old lad; for thou shalt ha't.

Vincentio

'Tis a good hearing when children are toward.

Lucentio

But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

Petruchio

Come, Kate, we'll to bed.We three are married, but you two are sped.

To Lucentio

'Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white;And, being a winner, God give you good night!