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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 21:48:45 +0900
From: "David Farnell"

I have been told that cats can only make food go one way in their esophagi—once they start swallowing something, they can't stop. (Then again, they seem to barf with little trouble.) That sounds like an interesting little quirk to give a CoC creature.

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 09:19:25 -0400
From: "Jimmie Bise, Jr."

That sounds like an
interesting little quirk to give a CoC creature.

As I recall, snakes, constrictors specifically, have that same little quirk. I also recall that the gastropods from the War against the Chtorr series (by David Gerrold) had the same quirk, but they were a heck of a lot nastier (and worth looking into for a sheer killing machine-type beastie).

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 00:35:46 -0400
From: "R. Menzi"
The topic of one way digestive tracks has come up. If a animal can vomit, its stomache goes both ways, so cats are out of the catergory. Birds, however, are in; birds can be made to explode with Alkaseltser (sp?) tablets because the have no way to release the fast growing pressure. (Knew a kid in 2nd grade who had a some pretty sick passtimes.)

Also, according to _DG:_Alien_Inteligence_, ghouls (at least the DG ghoul-lady) lack a gag reflex and the ability to vomit. (This may be to let the converts avoid regurgitation everytime they try to eat their more rancid meals.)

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 10:14:09 -0400
From: "Eric Brennan"

A neat form of digestion to look into (and I don't know the name, so any gastro-zooologists feel free to chime in) is what I believe spiders do…turning the insides of the creature to mush and draining out the yummy fluid, leaving behind just a sagging skin suit and some bones.

Also, according to _DG:_Alien_Inteligence_, ghouls (at least the DG
ghoul-lady) lack a gag reflex and the ability to vomit.

Ok,does anyone else see the connectionand the anti-ghul measure here? Just hide a dozen alka-selzer tablets in a corpse….

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 11:57:42 -0400
From: Graeme Price

Ok,does anyone else see the connection and the anti-ghul measure here?

Nah, won't work. You'd just end up having a ghoul with a really bad case of flatulence… and those guys smell bad enough at the best of times!

Interestingly, one reason why ghouls may lack the vomit reflex is that I recall reading (not sure of my sources on this) that the presence of large quantities of raw blood in the stomach induces vomiting (the result of this is called "coffee ground vomit", because it looks like coffee grounds - I am not making this up!).

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 17:58:42
From: Davide Mana

While you are looking into the above, you might like to check out the Lepidoptera of the Icneumonida group (a kind of wasp); this nasty little brutes place their eggs inside of a "host", that ends up being eaten alive, _from the inside_, by the growing critters. And if this looks a too much like "Alien", let me add a last nasty bit: this insects are adapted so that the larvae go first for the less criticl bits, eating up the host all right, but keeping it alive as long as possible.

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 12:48:58 -0400
From: "Eric Brennan"

I was watching the movie "Phoenix" the other day, and Giancarlo Esposito's character, to demonstrate the idea that loansharks are part of the natural order, talked about a worm that will infect a crab's reproductive system. It then somehow manages to use the crab's reproductive system to make offspring. This can go on forever…

So think about a Cthulu beastie that is just a nasty little sperm cell type critter…that then infects other sperm cells in a fellow's cajones, turning the host's body into just one big manufacturing plant. The sperm then infects eggs. Then the eggs get born…

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 13:33:36 -0400
From: "John C. Detwiler"

Just as interesting as spider digestion is starfish digestion. Starfish apparently insert their stomach into their prey and digest them from the inside. Something big enough to do that to a human would leave some interesting evidence.

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Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 14:09:33 -0400
From: "Jimmie Bise, Jr."

And just a quick aside to the lack of regurgitation. One of the reasons some snakes (and the fictional Chtorran worms) can't stop swallowing their prey is because their fangs, or teeth, or what have you, and turned toward their throats, preventing anything solid from coming back up. Try that, and the teeth stop it.

I also recall something about Spiders from Leng in Lovecraftian works, which work about like, though faster than, earthbound spiders. Also, maggots, if they are able to lay their young inside a host, do the same job to live prey as they do to carcasses. the young maggots effectively eat away at the meat of the host, from the inside out. Not as passive as flatworms or tapeworms, but definitely more nasty.

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Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 11:19:59 +0900
From: "David Farnell"
OK, what's the name of that little parasitical worm that needs to go through several animals in its life cycle? It's eaten by a bird, then shat out, then eaten by a banana slug (I think), then it migrates up to the slug's brain where it drives the slug insane (yes, even slugs have SAN), causing it to have a cumpulsion to climb to the tops of tree or bush branches. Simultaneously, it causes the slug's antennae to swell up and glow phosphorescently. Once the slug has helplessly slithered up to the treetops, it starts waving these painful-looking antennae around, which attracts a bird…CHOMP. (I can hear the wheels turning in your heads.)

Two for the price of one: How about them naked mole-rats? Hairless, eyeless, live in termite-like colonies with a queen who's the only one to reproduce, mammals but not warm-blooded, big shovel-like rodent teeth that they use to chew their way through the earth. I figure giant ones live in the Dreamlands and hunt humans in howling packs. Or normal-sized ones tunnel up under you, collapse the ground under you, and NAKED MOLE RAT PACK ATTACK! BZZZZZZT. Or mutant mole-rat maggots implanted in Agent Wallace's gut…

(Hey, anybody get fooled by that Discover magazine April-Fools article a few years back? Arctic mole-rats with heat-organs on their heads, burrowing through the ice faster than a grown man can run—the author of one of the first X-Files guides bought that one hook, line and sinker, published it as if it were true.)

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Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 00:42:09 EDT
From: Thomas Woodall

Snakes can and do regurgitate food when threatened right after a meal. I have seen a garter snake regurgitate two baby birds when it felt in danger. However, this would make a nice creature quirk.

Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 11:18:00 +0100
From: Nick

Dave wrote
«< OK, what's the name of that little parasitical worm that needs to go through several animals in its life cycle? »>

I believe they're called flukes. There's a really bad horror film called 'Slugs'(it's about mutant, man eating slugs, as you might imagine), and at one point a slug gets into somebody's salad, which he goes on to eat. He then gets consumed from within by the mutant flukes that are living in the mutant slugs. Then I decided life's too short to watch bullshit like that and turned it off.

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Date: Wed, 17 Jun 1998 00:52:28 +0900
From: Jay Noyes

I thought I'd add to this list of weird zoological data. A Brazilian friend of mine told me about a parasite they have problems with in his area. An insect bites you and lays eggs under your skin. Eventually they hatch and start chewing on the most convenient source of sustenance… you. The parasites form a large not of black worms which is, according to my friend, visible through the skin and totally excruciating. The best way of ridding yourself of them is to get a nice greasy chunk of bacan and bandage it too your leg for a day or so. The worms will chew their way out into the bacon.

website has plenty of nasty color pictures of all kinds of parasites, the damage they do, their life cycles, all that.

Dracunculus medinensis
(guinea worm, fiery serpent)

Dracunculus medinensis causes the disease known as dracunculiasis, and the parasite is often referred to as the guinea worm or fiery serpent. This parasite and the disease that it causes have been mentioned in the ancient writings of Greek, Roman, and Arabian scholars. Some authorities believe that the "fiery serpents" that plagued the Israelites were, in fact, Dracunculus, while others state that the "serpents" depicted in caducei (various medical symbols) are guinea worms. Although the these interpretations remain open to conjecture, it is clear that this parasite and its association with humans has a rich history.

This parasite has a wide geographic distribution, being found throughout much of Asia, the Middle East, Arabia, and northern and equatorial Africa. A similar parasite is found in a number of carnivores and omnivores in North America, but it does not infect humans. This parasite is often referred to as Dracunculus insignis, although it may represent a non-human strain of D. medinensis.

The life cycle of D. medinensis is unusual in many respects. The female worms (which can measure up to 1 meter in length, but are only about 2 mm in diameter) are found in (or just under) the skin of the human host, most often in the legs, ankles, or feet. As the female becomes gravid, her body fills with developing embryos. Eventually, the female's body wall ruptures, and the juvenile worms are released into the human's skin. This causes an intense allergic reaction, extreme discomfort (hence the name, the fiery serpent), and finally a papule forms on the skin. The papule eventually ulcerates (breaks open), exposing the female worm and providing a means of escape for the juvenile worms. As one might expect, humans infected with this parasite often seek out water to alleviate the symptoms of the allergic reaction and to wash the ulcer, and the juvenile worms are liberated into the water. The juveniles are eaten by an intermediate host, a copepod, and humans are infected when they drink water containing infected copepods. Once in the human, the juvenile worms migrate from the intestinal tract, through the abdominal cavity, into the subcutaneous connective tissues. At this point the females are fertilized by the males, and the males die. The females then migrate to the skin, reach sexual maturity, and produce juveniles. In the human host, complete development of the parasite requires about one year.

Serious complications can result from from dracunculiasis. The sores produced by the female worms can be infected with bacteria, resulting in abscesses in some instances. Some worms may not find their way to the skin and become encapsulated in the tissues, and in those instances where worms are found near joints, chronic arthritis results. There is no immunity to infection, so humans living in areas with endemic dracunculiasis are reinfected continually, and this can result in physically disabling disease.

Several drugs are used to treat dracunculiasis, but most infections are treated by simply removing the female worm once the blister breaks open and she is visible. Typically, the female worm is attached to a small stick and removed by slowly winding the worm on to the stick. Although this is an effective treatment, it does not prevent much of the damage caused by the worms nor reinfection.

From: Greame Price

The M.i.B finally persuaded me to share my sordid past when he wrote:

Well that convinced me to finally send it. So here goes. Read no further if you are of a squeamish disposition.

It was back in the late spring of '91, when I was still a fresh-faced 2nd year undergrad, that I took the compulsory Microbiology of Infection course at the University of [censored]. This was taught by… let us call him Dr. X. Dr. X was an elderly veterinary pathologist of the old school: didn't believe in things like rubber gloves and face masks. He was also the closest thing to a walking corpse that I have ever seen - he had a receeding hairline, liver spots, a roman nose and a little pencil moustache. His skin was drawn so taughtly over his face it looked like someone had stuck a pencil through the back of his neck and twisted it around to pull all the flesh back. He made Donald Pleasance look like Cary Grant [I later found out that his physical condition stemmed from when he autopsied a dead cow and upon cutting into the lungs found out that it had died of Brucellosis - he then did the reflexive thing by breathing in and going "oh shit!" and spent the next two years off sick with pulmonary brucellosis].

Anyway, this gives you an idea of what Dr. X was like [I could also mention the time when he wet himself with excitement whilst describing the pathologic lesions of necrotising fasciitis, but that would be cruel]. Anyway his practical course was not exactly the highlight of the year, being pretty boring (face it, you've seen one bacterial colony growing on an agar plate, and you've seen them all [this isn't strictly true, but you get the idea!]. The highlight of the course was the gangrene practical. To prepare forthis, he injected a pair of guinea pigs in the peritoneum with Clostridium perfringens (the bacterium responsible for gas gangrene) and then killed them after a couple of days [personally I feel that this was quite an unnecessary use of animals, but there you are]. The dead guinea pigs were put in the freezer until we needed them for the practical.

Here is where things started to go wrong. Having pieced things together after the event, here is what happened. The practical was set for a Monday morning, but had to be postponed until the Tuesday afternoon because of a bank holiday. On the Friday afternoon, the departmental technician moved the guinea pigs out of the freezer so she could get to her samples which were behind the dead animals. Then the telephone went, and she forgot about the guinea pigs which were left on a tray on top of the freezer. It was a hot long weekend. The bacteria started to grow. The guinea pigs started to ferment. Time passes and the day of the practical arrives.

Finding the guinea pigs on the top of the freezer and assuming that they had been take out by the technician that morning, Dr. X. (not having any truck with concientious objectors) insists that the entire class comes in close to watch him open up the guinea pigs. He uses scissors to remove the skin which he pins back to expose the peritoneum. The fact that the peritoneum was distended should have been a warning, but you recall Dr. X's past record with autopsies. I should also mention at this point that I had a severe head cold at the time and couldn't smell a thing. Dr. X looks around for a scalpel, can't find one and says "dosn't matter" a very strange, manic look comes over his face and he (I swear this is exactly what happened) uses his thumbnail (no gloves) to cut into the peritoneum. The trapped gas inside the guinea pig now escapes through the hole in the peritoneum, making a sound like a deflating balloon. Dr. X goes a strange purple colour (no face mask) the entire class (except me - I couldn't smell a thing) takes several rapid paces backward due to the stench, which several of my classmates attempted, but failed, to describe adequately to me.

The upshot of this was that because I couldn't smell anything, I ended up taking the slide smears for microscopy for the entire class. Liquid guinea pig isn't a pretty sight (even under a microscope). The entire class complained about Dr. X's, er… teaching style and he subsequently left the University to teach vets somewhere in Scotland (I think).

So, you understand that although I may be a sick and twisted individual, I was taught by experts.

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Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 14:56:47 +0100
From: Nick

this hamster didn't explode; but it was running in it's wheel so fast that the friction ignited the sawdust in it's cage. The resulting conflagaration spread to the curtains of the unfortunate household, and gutted most of the building, a semi in Batley, West Yorkshire. The inhabitants escaped, and the firemen were able to rescue the hamster - who is apparantly now not allowed to run in it's wheel unsupervised.

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Date: Mon, 31 Aug 1998 09:22:49 -0700
From: Christian Conkle
I ran another great Delta Green scenario on Saturday, one that involved crystal-wearing neo- Pagan Shub-Niggurath-worshipping Hippie Lesbians. The scenario itself involved Bestiality (or Zoophilia, if you prefer [pervert]). There were great moments when, before their characters had seen anything, before I could describe anything, they had enough information to realize what was happening. The result being temporary sanity loss for all of the PLAYERS, not the characters, the Players!! Hee hee!!

Allow me to transcribe..

(PC's sneaking across a cow-field onto a farm in the middle of the night. Forest at other end of field contains a lone mad Neo-pagan cultist conducting a suspected rite to some deity called Shub-Niggurath. They fear that she is connected to/responsible for a Dark Young that has been terrorizing the town and lives in this forest. Cultist is a known Zoophile, having posted explicit pictures and stories about herself and her animal partners on the Internet, which in itself caused quite a bit of player nausea…)

Me: "Having killed the guard dogs, you continue across the dark field, huddled closely behind Lt. Brisk, the only one with Night Vision Goggles. A few hundred feet ahead, you can make out the flickering light of what may be a bonfire through the trees, maybe a few hundred yards into the forest. A chilly breeze picks up, disturbing the grass and trees and masking your approach."

PC's: generally sneak about, fan out, etc.

Me: "As you approach closer, moving stealthily through the trees, you can definitely see a bonfire. You're still a few dozen yards out, so it's hard to make out anything specific through the trees. You hear a woman's voice chanting something, "Ia! Ia! Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young! Ia! Ia! Blessed is the Source of Life! Blessed is the Three-Headed Goat! Ia! Ia!" Between the trees, you see Whitestar (cultist's name) moving strangely. You can't see all of her, just bits through the trees, slowly moving up and down and side to side about 8-9 feet above what would be the ground, you're too far away to get a good look. You see a glimpse of her face, in apparent religious ecstacy, her bare shoulder, her thigh, a bare foot, etc."

Cheney: "Could she be levitating?"

Me: "It's hard to say at this distance, she could be. As you get closer.."

Fred: "Oh No! No! No! No!"

Cheney: "What?"

Kara, looking at Fred: "Ewww! No! Oh God!"

Cheney: looks dumbly at the other players..

Me: chuckle audibly

Lawrence: "No, she can't be, no no! Oh for the love of christ!"

Kara, Lawrence, and Fred: all shake their arms in front of their chests and writhe uncomfortably in their seats.

Me: ".. As you get closer, Whitestar becomes more visible. She's not hovering, she seems to be lying atop a large heaving mass, straddling it, naked. It's the same creature you saw in the woods earlier, the one that killed those farmers. Tentacles are writhing and slitering about and around her.. and INTO her!" (At which point I make appropriate hand gestures) "She is not in religious ecstacy, but sexual frenzy, as she ritualistically makes love to this blasphemous thing!"

Cheney, suddenly realizing: "Ugh! Ah! Oh my God!"

All the players: general nausea and mutterances to their Gods..

Me: "Make another Sanity Check!"

If the players lose sanity, the Characters should too!

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Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1998 17:13:52 -0500 (CDT)
From: Don Juneau

ObDG: Just read a back-ish of NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC today, talking about the "marauder ants" of Asia. (Seem to run from Southern India across to the Philippenes, and that area.) Had assorted neat pictures - including some prehistoric <?> looking mandibled-and-spiked ones. I'll have to note the ish next time I'm there, for the list.. and so I can find a copy for myself. <G> The "major worker" is about 3/4s of and inch long, and the "media" ones are somewhat less than 1/10th of an inch, if I recall aright. The "medias" sometimes ride the "majors", and it looks disturbingly like that scene in THE ROAD WARRIOR where the gangers are crawling all over the tanker-truck…

Mix some of *that* with the "ant-infestation" scene in PRINCE OF DARKENESS, maybe add some good ol' Southron Fire Ants and South American Soldier Ants and the Asian <?> Jumping Ant (which seems to have a stinger, from the image/text)… the investigators open the hospital-room door, and find the cultist/prisoner they were going to question being devoured… mmm.

Appendix B

Date: Wed, 1 Jul 1998 20:06:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: The Man in Black

The Following table is meant for use by only the most depraved and vile keepers. An elite of sickoes among sickoes. I do not consider kinky or fringe sexual behavior to be perversion (like Central Casting seems to do) but instead have attempted to codify only the most ludicrous and aberrant sexual deviation possible.

01-05 Squicking - the act of well, you know… NOTE: any sex that requires mutilation (wood drills, meat sculpture etc. may fall under the definition of Squicking)

00 Roll 1d3 times and combine the results (this result can be rolled again!) EXAMPLE: Lacto-Cannibal-Pyro-Necro-Zoophilia may involve having sex with a cheesburger, or some such.

On the creative use of gerbils….

Date: 9 Sep 1998 11:40 GMT

From: FRANK M ADAMS

Sincerely,

The Quiet Man

- - Who's wondering how to work in a realistic adventure about rabid mutant flesh-burrowing hamsters.

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From: "Richard Pace"

- Who's wondering how to work in a realistic adventure about rabid mutant
flesh-burrowing hamsters.

Whatever you do you -must- tie in the weird Hollywood trend of popping hamsters up the poop shoot - maybe even a Richard Gere cameo!

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 09:51:51 -0400
From: Graeme Price

Richard wrote:

I had a friend who put a link to X-rays taken of a hamster-stuffer (technical term is Felcher) on his web site… Just don't ask. I must try and look out said URL as it had a wealth of weird X-ray photos on it - ideal props for keepers.

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 14:50:54 +0100
From: Phil Ward

Whatever you do you -must- tie in the weird Hollywood trend of popping
hamsters up the poop shoot - maybe even a Richard Gere cameo!

Oh dear, did anyone catch the 'honourable mentions' sections in this years Darwin awards?

"Apocolypse!"

Apologies to those who didn't I could find a copy and mail it to you if you'd like….. you probably wont though.

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 13:08:45 -0400
From: G.M.

Dear God! The horror stories I've heard about gerbiling(sp), that thought, and the knowledge that MiB is going to see that makes me fear for my sanity!!!

SQUICK! SQUICK! oooooWWWWWWGODMAKEIT STOP!!!!!

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 18:44:37 -0400 (EDT)
From: The Man in Black

Whatever you do you -must- tie in the weird Hollywood trend of popping
hamsters up the poop shoot - maybe even a Richard Gere cameo!

Or the tried and tested method of Duct-tape (TM) assisted beastiality.

Hmm… after trying these new rabid mutant flesh-burrowing hamsters I have found that normal hamsters no longer have the quality that we have come to expect.

ObDG: That's right, hamster enemas are on topic for this mailing list, anyone who wishes to become a Human Hamster Burrow (TM) must be a cultist of the GOO.

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 16:14:42 -0700
From: Christian Conkle

Anyway, Bestiality (and it is spelled BESTiality) is a great horror element, raising the creep factor by about two or three notches. I used bestiality to great effect a few sessions ago. Remember, those who condone it call it Zoophilia, and rationalize it as physical love between two consenting sentient beings (gyuck!). They also tend to be Wiccan or Neo-Pagans (or at least religiously experimental), identify themselves with anthropomorphic cartoons or elves or other sylvan entities, and wear a lot of natural fiber.

At least, that is the impression I got from doing research on the subject prior to the game. Check out http://www.bestiality.com (icky tasteless warning, right here and now) for photos to gross out players (the live Eels always get them!) and read some of the disgusting stories and links. They gave me a sense of how a to play a zoophile cultist.

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Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1998 09:06:42 +0900
From: "David Farnell"

SQUICK! SQUICK! oooooWWWWWWGODMAKEIT STOP!!!!!

I got three words: NAKED MOLE RATS!

" You open the toilet-stall door to see your suspect, Ricardo 'Habitrail' Gear, writhing and screaming on the floor, trousers around his ankles, a cardboard box with holes in it marked 'Marital Aid' beside him. The box is filled with wood shavings. Blood is pouring out of his rectum and mouth, and a bottle of massage oil is on its side, glurping out in erotic waves and pouring slowly down the drain in the floor, spiraling in with the blood, kinda like _Psycho_. He gasps out, 'They said it was a shaved hamster…" and dies. Something horrible burrows out of his stomach." (flash picture of naked mole rat)

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Date: Thu, 10 Sep 1998 19:41:08 -0500 (CDT)
From: Don Juneau

I had a friend who put a link to X-rays taken of a hamster-stuffer

Uhm, might as well nip this in the bud as it were: Urban Legend. In fact, I just read a multipart post from alt.tasteless where two people *tried* such a thing, admittedly with a Stunt Hamster (cat-toy mouse). "Felch" has an entirely different connotation (somewhat disgusting - check your dictionary!). The "weird items in odd places" X-Ray site has some interesting ones, but I don't know if they're real or fakes. (And I've not got the URL anyway. It's been a while.)

ObDG: Not easily. <G> Hmm. Hamsters are illegal in California - true, with some yivshish reason. (If they get loose, they compete with an endangered species or something like that.) What if that's just a cover, and MJ-12 has their *own* reason? What threat could a furry little rodent *pose*?
Does Adolph Lepus stalk the night, executing hamsterphiles throught the former Bear Republic? <insert brooding music>

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From: Alan L. Krause

Don Juneau wrote:

Hamsters are legal pets in California. However, gerbils (very hamster-like… I am unsure of the differences so please don't ask) are indeed illegal in CA.

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From: Christian Conkle
Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1998 09:03:42 -0700

I would like to clarify to those on the list that my recent post asserting that it appears as if most zoophiles tend to be Wiccans or Neo-Pagans was never meant to imply any kind of generalization regarding those religions. I never meant to imply that Wiccans or Neo-Pagans tend to be Zoophiles or any other kind of generalization. My point was that Zoophiles appeared to be religiously experimental. Nor did I meant to imply any kind of generalization on those invovled with "Furry" or anthropomorphic fiction.

I'm no sociologist either, and my assertion was based on an admitedly small statistical sampling of 3 or 4 Web sites, each featuring Celtic or Mythological imagry and rhetoric. Of course, I don't know any zoophiles. I did know a girl once who wanted to be, and come to think of it, she fits the profile I suggested. Hmm.. She was religiously, socially, sexually, and chemically experimental, identified with the "furry" crowd, and was all around an "earthy" chick. Perhaps she subconsiouly tainted my perception, so that I read all these traits into those Websites. OR, since I didn't think of her until just a second ago, maybe the experimental nature of Zoophiles would tend to include a lot of that kind of "alternative" activity.

Anyway, I'm digressing. My point is, it seems to me that Zoophiles tend to be neo-pagan. But Neo-Pagans don't tend to be Zoophiles.

(the same can be said that most serial killers tend to be caucasian Christians, that doesn't mean that most caucasian Christians tend to be Serial Killers)

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Date: Friday, September 11, 1998 6:04 PM

From: Christopher Reeve

GENTLEMEN, As a Pagan/Wiccan and Metaphyscian I can share with the group that no true Wiccan would ever dream of harming (Sexually or otherwise) a hamster or any other animal. To do so would go against our most Sacred laws.

Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1998 19:11:54 -0400

From: "Tom Smith"

Maybe the gerbils have formed some sort of weird bond with the Shan. "You take them high, we'll take them low!"

Date: Fri, 11 Sep 1998 18:01:12 -0700
From: Josh Shaw

Alan L. Krause wrote:

Hamsters are legal pets in California. However, gerbils (very
hamster-like… I am unsure of the differences so please don't ask) are
indeed illegal in CA.

Two words: Gerbil smugglers!

Guy's standing on the corner, wearing a long black trench coat. I seem to be the only one who notices that his coat is squirming. I walk up and he asks: "Hey meester, you want to buy a couple of (low hiss) g-e-r-r-r-b-b-i-l-l-l-l-s-s-s-s-s????"

"You got the real stuff?" I ask. "How do I know you're not just fronting hamsters?"

"Oh no man, finest kind. Mexican gerbils, fresh of the boat from Sinaloa."

He reaches into his coat where the _squirming_ seems most active and pulls something out.