SEK exits his apartment and looks at his porch. On the ground is a shattered pot and another plant that will inevitably not survive re-potting at this time of year. There is also a basketball. SEK picks up the basketball and looks at the children on the court.

SEK: Which one of you is “RAY ALLEN”?

CHILD #1: What do you mean?

SEK: I mean, which one of you is “RAY ALLEN”?

CHILD #2: Not us.

SEK: Have a good night then.

CHILD #1: What about our ball? Can we have it back?

SEK: This isn’t your ball.

CHILD #1: It is.

SEK: So you’re “RAY ALLEN”?

CHILD #2: No one’s “RAY ALLEN”! Now give us back our ball!

SEK: This ball belongs to “RAY ALLEN.” If you’re not “RAY ALLEN,” this isn’t your ball.

SEK enters his apartment with “RAY ALLEN”‘s ball. Ten minutes pass. His doorbell rings. Standing at the door is an OLDER WOMAN with a firm grip on CHILD #2’s arm.

and you really should consider buying RAY ALLEN a small Christmas gift to show him that there’s no shame in stepping up and taking responsibility. It might teach him a valuable lesson. It might make a difference. It might make a new friendship.

I gave him back his ball. He’ll be fine. And if he does slash my tires, well, I wouldn’t want to be the one who faces his mother when I complain about my tires being slashed, and I got the distinct impression he wouldn’t want to be either.