Shattering the Self Pity Cycle

How can you break the cycle of self pity? Based on one of my recent articles,“The Black Hole Called Self Pity”, I have received feedback from viewers wanting help in knowing how to stop this vicious cycle. It is a difficult thing to realize that you have gotten caught up in focusing on your troubles. That is what self pity does, it is manipulative and thought twisting, but just knowing that you need help with this is a huge thing. I am here today to give some tips and tricks to advise you on this part of your journey.

My first piece of advice would be to allow yourself to grieve. I know from personal experience, that we get caught up in trying to stay strong, that we forget to let ourselves mourn for our previous life. Self pity likes to feed off of this unhealed part in our lives. I used to get the thoughts of, “If only I could be like I was before, things would be better.” That kind of thinking is unhealthy for your mind. Take some time and acknowledge that your former self is no more. Be sad, get angry, and let all those pent up emotions out. Truly recognize that your life has changed and all the feelings that come with it. Don’t be ashamed about anything that may come up in this period, because it is a necessary one for moving forward.

When you have let yourself grieve the loss from your personal life, I would suggest getting to know your new self. What do you like to do now? Maybe you used to paint, so how can you incorporate that into your life? Meet yourself like you would a new friend. Get to know the things that you care about now and that you still care about from your past life. Continue to let yourself grieve, as it is a process, one that I still see in myself from time to time. Take this time of your life to officially take a step forward. Affirm to yourself that the past is in the past and that you live in the present. What does present you look like? Name some qualities that you admire about the new you. I know that I became a lot more empathic after becoming chronically ill.

Another piece of advice is to do what makes the new you happy. Do you want to get a pet, maybe a small house plant, or start doing puzzles? How about watching Youtube, taking walks, meditating for a short time everyday, or keeping a journal? At this stage in my acceptance, I found that I liked to put my energy into helping others. Whether it was helping other things, other people, or myself, I felt like I had found a new purpose. For example, I started writing stories for The Mighty which you can seehere, doing surveys about healthcare, and sharing my story. I also began gardening, training my service dog, and working on my mental health. It helps me to put my words and experiences out there, because I know they are valuable. Every single person’s experience is unique, valuable, and needs to be heard.

Breaking the cycle of self pity is not the easiest. However, it is possible and as someone who has seen people do it and has done it herself, I know that you can get there. Be empathic towards yourself and let the process happen naturally. Know that it is not a straightforward journey, but each step you take is a step forward. Just the fact that you are reading this article is huge. You have recognized a change that needs to be made in your life and that, my dear, is half the battle.

Thank you for reading this article about breaking the cycle of self pity. Do you have any further questions? You can always comment them down below or message me on my social media platforms found on the side bar. Subscribe for more great content. Have a beautiful day, my Un-imaginables and I’ll see you next time!