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In lieu of this profoundly short-sighted and blatantly racist piece published at the Huffington Post titled “How to Date an Indian,” I thought it was time for me to write my own dating guide to help us stay away from people that might potentially follow this kind of advice. How to know you are dating a racist.1.You realize you have never met their parents and they live down the street. Nothing says, “I love you,” like, “I am embarrassed for my parents to find out you are not the race they want you to be.”2.They love the Rolling Stones but think that Jay-Z is sexist. I mean, I know it is hard to overlook Mick Jagger’s profoundly progressive views on women, but let’s just try for the sake of argument. *eyeroll*3.They ask you on the first date if (insert with ethnicity) girls are as (insert with ethnicity related explicit sexual act) as people say they are. It’s like sexist racist mad libs, really.4.They ask you offensive questions about what they perceive your culture to be, defending their profoundly ignorant question by saying, “I just want to learn more about your people baby!” (via @popscribblings)5.They ask you if they can touch your hair or skin or eyelash or eyelid before you have even kissed. 6.They want to know why your family acts like “that.”7.They say something about how it might be easier to date someone from their own race.8.When you are in a foreign country (or a taxi cab), they look to you to translate even though you don’t speak the language, either. 9.They say something to you like, “You are so different from the rest of your race, I really like you.” OR, they put down other races in front of you, as though it is OK as long as they are not putting down your race. (via Latoya Peterson)10.They say they noticed you because you look “exotic.” Do I look like a bird of paradise to you? #iamnotyourfetish
All of these may sound like sure signs you are DAR (dating a racist), but it took dating a long line of people who asked if I was a “Kama Sutra Indian,” or told me, “I love Indian food,” (like, dude are you saying you are going to eat me??) or that I have “almond eyes,” or claimed to know more about India than I do, to learn how to detect that I was asked out by or was dating…a racist.
Please, feel free to add more in comments. This information could save us from so many horrible dates!

Anayvette has over 15 years of experience working with nonprofits and youth. After feeling conflicted about her daughter’s desire to join the local Girl Scouts troop, Anayvette and her co-founder Marilyn Hollinquest created their own organization in Oakland that teaches young girls of color about social justice activism, from radical beauty to the environment and beyond.

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