Thursday, 1 October 2015

The ups and downs of being an online mummy

Being an online mummy is wonderful for many reasons. I don’t mean blogging, but just online in general, you know, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. I love how I can stay connected to my family who are spread all over the world, and friends that are local, and ones that have moved away. It’s great for them to be able to see Squidge grow up, while being physically absent from our lives.

Facebook has been a fantastic way for me to keep in touch with my family, most of which live in different countries to me (Irealnd, Spain, France etc). I’ve been able to share my ups (having Squidge, getting married, our first home etc) and my downs (losing my mum, brother and other bits and bobs), we’ve mourned together and been happy together.

I’m a very open person, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that’s something I’ve always prided myself on. You get what you see and I’ll tell it like it is. Being a mummy isn’t all sunshine and lollipops, sometimes days are pretty rubbish, you’ll be completely exhausted from lack of sleep, your baby will be a Mr fussy pants, completely unhappy, and you won’t have the energy to deal with it. Well, I talk about those days as much as I do the super happy awesome ones, because it’s real…

But it’s gotten to the stage where I have to be really careful what I write, otherwise I start noticing passive aggressive status’s from friends about moaning mummies. Yes I don’t want to offend anyone, but I’m also not going to sugar-coat reality for anyone either.

I know people go through really tough times, parents have lost children (horrific), whether born sleeping, or later on – both completely awful, I honestly can’t imagine just how awful that is. But does that mean I shouldn’t say ‘Oh my gosh I’m so tired today, Squidge was awake all night’ in case I upset anyone because they don’t have their baby & I should be more grateful I have mine? Well, I am grateful I have a baby, every single day of my life and moment that I exist with every shred of my being. I know all too well about loss (mother’s day posts aren’t exactly a picnic for me, but I’d never expect people not to share about it), and about how scary it was when Squidge was born and didn’t cry or breathe, he had to be resuscitated.

I say lets just tell it how it is, we can’t all walk on eggshells for living in permanent fear of offending someone, on the off-chance they actually see that Facebook post or tweet.

What’s your thoughts on being an online mummy, and censoring what we say for others?