Epic

Unaccountably, film critics have become besotted with the movie "The English Patient," lauding it as an epic of history, war and romance. Only panoramically may it have achieved epic status, but in dramatic terms it is anything but. "Doctor Zhivago" was an epic; "War and Peace" is an epic; but "The English Patient"? Give me a realistic break! If the principal character in "The English Patient," played by Ralph Fiennes, is a modern paradigm for a cinematic romantic lead, then the judgment of modern womanhood is seriously misdirected.

Unaccountably, film critics have become besotted with the movie "The English Patient," lauding it as an epic of history, war and romance. Only panoramically may it have achieved epic status, but in dramatic terms it is anything but. "Doctor Zhivago" was an epic, "War and Peace" is an epic, but "The English Patient"? Give me a realistic break! If the principal character in "The English Patient," played by Ralph Fiennes, is a modern paradigm for a cinematic romantic lead, then the judgment of modern womanhood is seriously misdirected.

Has anyone but me noticed, or is David Letterman making some kind of unannounced "surprise" motion picture debut as a Tribal Chieftain in the new upcoming action epic "The Emerald Forest"? KEITH EVANS, Studio City

As a period evocation, Christina Yao's ambitious feature debut "Empire of Silver" is flawless, richly and authentically detailed and superbly photographed. But her adaptation of "The Silver Valley," a three-volume book by Cheng Yi, who also worked with Yao on the screenplay, makes for unwieldy melodrama, rather than the enthralling epic it might have been. Set against the turbulent dawning of modern China, the film spans the Boxer Rebellion and the crumbling of the Qing Dynasty. The story centers on Third Master (Aaron Kwok)

Let's try this again: In a third attempt, Comic-Con tickets are going on sale again Wednesday at 8 a.m. And the process sounds even more complicated than before. Organizers are calling it a "live test" and will only be releasing 1,000 of the four-day badges without Preview Night, requiring hopefuls to go through two separate sites. Last month, as hordes of fanboys and girls swarmed the registration site, sales froze and tempers rose Ã?Â?Ã?Â?- twice. After both aborted efforts, Comic-Con International apologized profusely and promised to look into better methods for supporting the hundreds of thousands of people expected to angle for tickets.

IN THE post-Sept. 11 world, images and impressions of Islam in the Western media have often been synonymous with extremism. To temper this, the UCLA Film and Television Archive is offering "Visualizing the Sacred: Islam on Film," an attempt to present a more inclusive look at the religion. "Obviously Islam and images of Islam in the media are a big issue these days," notes programmer Paul Malcolm. "It's just been overwhelmed by the focus on terrorism and radicalism. . . . These films show the other side of Islam and the Muslim experience."

To Jim Murray, Mike Downey and the entire sports staff: Hey, guys, whatever happened to rooting for the underdog? I mean, if you were Jim Kelly, could you even show your face, much less come back for more? Much less do what it takes to get back to The Show? How about Marv Levy? Isn't it a miracle that after last year they haven't come apart at the seams? The crow pie is on me if they actually win. Shame on you. You take all the excitement out of it. RICH McGINIS Pasadena The epic spirit inspires some people to persist in personal goals long after the average seeker gives up. Yet when the Buffalo Bills, after losing three consecutive Super Bowls, earned the right to a fourth appearance in a row, I sighed, I can't bear to watch.

MUSIC Maybe no band's name has been a more self-fulfilling prophesy than fun. The trio's single "We Are Young" was a surprise hit of the year, built on piano-pop savvy and epic hooks. The rest of their catalog is fizzy, buzzy and livened up with au courant electronics, and they play a victory lap stand this week. The Wiltern, 3790 Wilshire Blvd., L.A. 7:30 p.m. Fri.-Sun., $25. wiltern.com.