Subscribe to this blog

Follow by Email

Search This Blog

The World You Create

Feedback
from others is priceless. If we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable
enough to receive it, we can hear valuable information that can help us
transform into the people we ought to be or who we never thought we
could be. But we don't ask. And why not? Because we are afraid. Why
are we afraid? Because we tend to think greater of ourselves than we
ought, and anytime anyone sticks a pin in our inflated view of us, we get upset.
Just ask Jeri.

Jeri is the director of an
organization in which I was called to coach because she had created a
hostile environment for herself and her team. I discovered that she had
distributed a survey to her staff to find out what kind of job they
felt she had been doing as their leader. Apparently, she thought she
was doing a fine job and went in feeling confident that they would
agree. But when the results came back, the team had drawn a completely
different picture. Jeri was shocked by their responses--and appalled.
But instead of seeking the value in the feedback and finding consensus
about her behavior, she became angry. She developed a retaliatory
attitude (proving one of the complaints they had), and she intimidated
everyone into silence.

Had she approached
the feedback in a more constructive way--because receiving feedback
constructively is just as important as giving it constructively--she
would have found a treasure trove of information that could have helped
her to be as good as she thought she was. Unfortunately, she missed an
incredible opportunity. Now, she will never get that chance again. The
value of any subsequent information will be close to useless because her team will no longer be honest with her. She will
continue to believe she's an exploding star when she's actually a white
dwarf (a dying star; burnt out).

So here are three things everyone should consider upon self-examination:

1)
There's always room for me to improve no matter how great I think I
am. Therefore, I am going to take an assessment like a 360-degree
survey and hear what people all around me see in me. When I receive the
feedback, I will look for ways to challenge myself to change in those
areas that are negatively impacting my growth.

2)
Once I receive 360-degree feedback, I will seek out people whose
opinions matter to me, and I will ask them for their unadulterated
assessment on those weak areas in me. I will not grow angry but try to
remain curious about my own behavior.

3) I
will allow myself to be vulnerable to all valuable feedback. I will
not retaliate or beat myself up. I will look for growth opportunities,
and I will do something about me. I will face myself honestly, and thank the person for helping me to excel.

Try these and watch your environment change around you. With a panoramic view of you, you can impact your world extensively.

Popular posts from this blog

It seems like everywhere we turn today in the news, there are accusations being made between men and women. Those accusations are of a serious nature and are costing people on both sides in life-altering ways. Sexual misconduct and abuse, physical abuse, and gender bias are among the many claims being made mostly by women against men. These men are usually in positions of power. Therefore, they are in a prime position to commit the crimes and bad behavior they are accused of without a lot of resistance initially from their victims.
But something has happened lately. What was once too shameful to speak about out loud is now front and center for all the world to see. What was perpetrated behind closed doors has now been shoved out in the open by a chorus of voices saying it happened to #MeToo. One of the difficult angles in these revelations is how the rest of us receives these stories. Many people without hesitation take sides with the women who are accusing the men.…

I was studying the Bible today because part of my life is spent as a Bible student and Sunday School teacher. I enjoy reading it because of the many life lessons it holds. Today's scripture has everything to do with communications. And since this is a communications blog, I will refer to the verses I read in it just like I would in any book where I find something worth repeating. In the book of James, chapter three, James is talking about talking--specifically cursing, lying, gossiping, boasting, and a bunch of other things we say that we shouldn't. These behaviors are born out of one small part of our bodies that we all lose control of along with our brains at varying points in our lives. But when we lose control, we amass large amounts of grief for ourselves and others.

Beginning at verse three, he describes this failure of ours. "When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. …

If you stayed up late last night to experience the end of the big College National Championship game, you saw a nail biter and a fantastic finish. For those of us who didn't have a team in the fight, it was pure entertainment. But for the Georgia students who fought in that battle and lost, it was a bitter pill to swallow. They likely woke up this morning feeling like they were having a hangover.
Any sports fanatic will tell you that a loss to the team is also a loss for them personally. They feel similar (not necessarily the same) pain as the players even though they haven't stepped a foot out, in or on the field, court, track or pool. It stings pretty badly. Even though Alabama won this time, they know all too well what it feels like since they experienced the same defeat last year against Clemson.
So how do you get past the pain? What can you say to assuage those melancholy feelings that stick around for the next few days and even months? These qu…

About Me

Betty is an expert communicator with 25 years of speaking experience. She is a skilled trainer in leadership development. She has served her clients in a variety of ways--facilitator, trainer, coach, speaker, moderator, and panelist. She lends her talent and skills to corporations and individuals who desire to grow professionally and personally. See her in action at Sharper Development Solutions, Inc.