Abhisit Promises To Look Less Awkward In Photos If Re-Elected

26 May 2011

BANGKOK – In a major policy announcement today, the Democrat Party presented a three-phase, two-year plan to drastically improve the way Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva appears in photographs, digital images and video.

“We have listened to the people of Thailand, and they are telling us that ‘Mark’ looks very uncomfortable in pictures,” said Deputy PM Suthep Thaugsuban, referring to Abhisit by his nickname. “We are prepared to show initiative and leadership on this issue.”

The move is believed to be a response to the Democrat Party’s latest campaign video, which shows the PM walking among villagers wearing a button-down oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, striking postures and expressions of concern while listening to people, and laughing in slow-motion. The video, reposted on YouTube, has drawn over 900 comments, almost all of them mocking the Prime Minister.

Additionally, campaign posters featuring Abhisit have received poor reviews from political analysts and bloggers alike, drawing comparisons to statues, wallpaper and loaves of plain white bread.

The image-improvement plan, budgeted at Bt340 million, will include hiring specialists in wardrobe, modeling, photography and the “Strasbourg method” of acting to re-accessorize and re-train Abhisit to look natural when traveling among his constituency.

A second phase of the plan involves bringing in selected working-class people to live with Abhisit in his house on Sukhumvit Soi 31 for a month to teach him about Thai culture, linguistic idioms and everyday activities.

Suthep declined to comment on rumors that Abhisit was considering an artificial tan.