So you’ve unpacked your things, arranged your class schedule, scoped out the nearby restaurants and coffee shops and perused a pamphlet outlining some of Ottawa’s can’t-miss sights — a list of canals, farmers’ markets, changing guards and old buildings that makes you want to weep knowing you’ll have to take your parents to them when they visit, so why go now?

Instead, we offer a handful of places and events you will not take your parents to, but where you may find yourself returning time and again.

If you have a secret longing to sing Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart or Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing with your lungs and vocal cords turned up to 11 (or watch others do the same), then Chinatown’s Shanghai Restaurant is your one-stop Saturday-night shop.

That’s when Ed Kwan, better known in this city as China Doll, puts on some of the most outlandish and boisterous drag outfits and hosts Shanghai’s karaoke night, often announcing the start of the show with his/her signature song, an imperfect rendition of Etta James’s At Last.

China Doll, whose brash personality and costumes are frequently front-and-centre at Ottawa’s LGBTQ events in Ottawa, has been hosting the weekly karaoke at his family’s restaurant, a cosy room with funky art and furniture, since 2005. “The fun factor is very important, since we sometimes call Ottawa the coma capital, the city with no pulse,” he/she said in a 2011 interview. “China Doll brings fantasy, happiness, joy and good times.”

With such names as Roberta Bombdar, Jagged Little Kill, Kiki VonCarnage and Red Headed for Trouble, these are Ottawa’s modern-day versions of Skinny Minnie Miller, tearing around oval roller derby tracks with bombast and attitude. Rideau Valley Roller Girls is one of a few Ottawa-area leagues — Capital City Derby Dolls and Ottawa Roller Derby are others — consisting of a handful of teams that regularly play one another and also host visiting teams. “It’s a team sport for women who don’t like team sports,” one participant explained when describing its DIY look and feel. It’s also a serious sport with some serious entertainment value, and while some familiarity with the rules may enhance your enjoyment, the absence of such knowledge in no way detracts from it.

For those women not content to merely watch and cheer from the sidelines, there are occasional Fresh Meat nights, where newcomers can try out the wheels and perhaps even join a team. Capital City Derby Dolls’ Fresh Meat begins on Sept. 8. Men can participate, too, as referees or volunteers (also open to women).

Clients barter with vendors at the Lachute flea market.Paul Chiasson /
THE CANADIAN PRESS

DEAD PEOPLE’S BELONGINGS, AND OTHER STUFF YOU NEED

You really have to see the Lachute Flea Market, a little more than an hour’s drive from Ottawa, to appreciate the length and breadth of humanity’s flotsam, jetsam and detritus, and you’ll need to walk a couple of kilometres to really do it justice. Antlers? Check. Books? More than you’ll read in this lifetime. Clown paintings? Oh, yes. Dolls, engines, football helmets, games, handkerchiefs, insect spray, jiggers, keys, lamps, mink stoles, nutcrackers, outboard motors, pith helmets, quails, racquets, skulls, toboggans, uniforms, violins, waffle irons, xylotomous tools, yardsticks and a zither? Got ‘em all, and that’s just one pass through the alphabet; you could do this all day.

And in fact, you’ll want to devote much of one to walking the (mostly) outdoor tables and stalls. Tuesday is the day to go, and in the summertime, the serious pickers get there at 5 or 6 a.m. The pace slows a bit in September and beyond, with vendors setting up at 6 or 7 a.m., and bargain-hunters coming at 8 or 9. Aside from the flea market, the grounds are also home to Lachute’s farmers’ market, so once you’ve found your corn holders and plates, you can grab supper, too.

A man fires a gun at the Stittsville Shooting Ranges in Stittsville.Tony Caldwell /
Postmedia Network

GO AHEAD, MAKE YOUR DAY

There’s something special about your first time. You yell “Pull,” and in a moment a small clay disc flies through the air at roughly the speed of an energetic pigeon. You only have a second to spot it, aim and fire, and if everything comes together perfectly, the skeet explodes into small pieces. The feeling of accomplishment, at least for a first-timer, far exceeds the actual achievement, but no matter – you’ve come to feel good and have fun, not actually bring home dinner.

The absence of a gun or license needn’t prevent those curious about firing a gun from trying it out, and on Saturdays and Sundays, the Stittsville Shooting Ranges allows inexperienced marksmen and women to do just that. They’ll provide everything you’ll need – gun, ammo, ear and eye protection, as well as a licensed instructor. You supply the cash ($35 plus tax for 15 shots at skeet or trap, and $45 to $65 for handgun target shooting). Advance booking is strongly recommended.

Capital City Championship Combat, or C*4, wrestling blurs the line between spectator and participant, with verbal interaction between fighters and spectators a two-way street and bouts that often spill into the seats and onto viewers’ laps. As organizer Mark Pollesel describes it, “If going to WWE wrestling is like going to a movie, going to C*4 is akin to being an extra in a movie.”

The McArthur Avenue Knights of Columbus hall that hosts these periodic events is both small and licensed, the atmosphere congenial, loud and, in terms of the signs that many fans wave and the language they use, not suitable for work. Body slams and turnbuckle leaps are met with cheers and jeers, “holy s—” being a favourite chant when things, as they do, get out of hand. It’s a full evening of entertainment, too, with some bouts lasting as long as 20 minutes.

Among the tamer chants commonly shouted is one that perfectly describes these nights of mayhem, sweat and testosterone: “This is awesome.”

The season opens on Sept. 30, while a special weekend-long 10th anniversary event is scheduled for Nov. 24 and 25.

Comments

We encourage all readers to share their views on our articles and blog posts. We are committed to maintaining a lively but civil forum for discussion, so we ask you to avoid personal attacks, and please keep your comments relevant and respectful. If you encounter a comment that is abusive, click the "X" in the upper right corner of the comment box to report spam or abuse. We are using Facebook commenting. Visit our FAQ page for more information.

We want you to have the most accurate weather report you can.

City Hall Blog

Mayor Jim Watson seems well-rested after recovering from appendicitis. In my interview with him this week, he admitted he couldn’t resist keeping his BlackBerry by his side while keeping a low profile (I guess that
).