BlogWith the City of Lauderdale Lakes in the direst of financial straights, what course of action did Allen choose?

With the City of Lauderdale Lakes in the direst of financial straights, what course of action did Allen choose?

12.05.2012

Now that Broward County Commission is finally awakening from its slumber over Lauderdale Lakes, MAOS decided it was time to pen an open letter to those on the dais.

We’ve entitled this piece, “Who can afford :JA:.”

Let the story begin.

Chapter One: Monopoly Money.

With the City of Lauderdale Lakes in the direst of financial straights, what course of action did Allen choose?

Did he:

Tighten his belt?

Take one on the chin?

Set a shining example?

Or did he:

Receive an $11,000 raise.

Avoid taking the staff’s mandatory 10% pay cut.

Receive a $7,200 bonus.

Receive a $3,000 cash bonus for executive leave – though not legally entitled.

Wait, now that’s some cold shit … lining his pockets on the backs of his employees. Who’d do such a thing?

I mean, with the City unable to pay its bills (like BSO), there’s no way he’d:

Along with staff, give himself a 4% increase (to partially restore some of the 10% cut) — problem is he did not take the cut.

And to top it off, Allen told his Commission they were not eligible for the 4% increase.

Chapter Two: Crony Capitalism.

In the book Animal Farm, there’s a famous quote that goes something along the line of “all pigs are created equal, some pigs are more equal than others.”

So let’s turn our attention to a few pigs over in Lauderdale Lakes and we’ll begin with Finance Director Marie Elianor, who:

Did not get hit with the 10% cut.

Has no prior experience as a Finance Director.

Was run out of Oakland Park for being incompetent.

Hired a relative as her assistant — a clear violation on City’s nepotism policy.

Ahh Elianor … who could forget her famous words, ‘Ummmm… Well, I am not sure of how much cash the city has or what funds it belongs to.”

Funny words coming from the city’s chief financial officer, but then again, it was Elianor who used cash taken from employee deductions for insurance and taxes (big no-no).

Other pigs, of the female variety, include Allen cronies Treasa Brown and D’Andrea Giddens-Jones, who both financially benefitted while most every one else took a hit.

You see, when Allen learned the Commission was forcing an across the board 10% cut, he gave Brown and Giddens-Jones pay raises to help offset the reduction.

What. The. F***. Chuck.

And then, there’s the matter about their promotions.

Brown, with no qualifications and/or experience, becomes the new super-graded Parks/Services department head (pun!).

Giddens-Jones finds herself a new department head (not pun! — gross $%&^), yet she’s the only person in said department.

Last, but not least, we fondly consider V. Richmond – the highest paid landscaper in South Florida and Terrence Barber, a gent who used up $10,000 in taxpayer money learning how to right write.

And while Allen has little problem promoting his cronies, competent professionals who gave him flack (Purchasing Manager, City Clerk) are run off…

Chapter Three: Up, up, and away.

Now here’s something really shitty to consider.

Things were so bad in Lauderdale Lakes, staffers are asked to bring in their own toilet paper.

And Allen’s response?

Why hell, this is a perfect time to take a trip.

We’ve lost count on the number of times he’s crossed the c***ry (pun!) for various NFBPA outings.

Golf trips to Virginia.

Trips to DC where he helped “mentor” Brown (mostly late at night).

Some “important shiznit” out in Oakland, California.

Not happy to have learned this, MAOS submitted various public records requests for the trip’s costs/expenses. Allen, looking to cover up his foolishness, told folks “you have to pay to watch him play”…

I’ve filed a complaint with the OIG regarding this matter, and while Allen might have had an easy time f***ing his staff, I’m altogether a different kinda date.

By the way Broward County, speaking of Allen’s f***ing, you helped Jon get laid – as the CRA helped fund many of those trips.

Then there are those two non-bid contracts to DSI, including one for them to lobby before Broward County.

How’s that working out for ya, Jon? Do you feel all warm and fuzzy these days when you think about Stacy Ritter, Chip LaMarca, and Company?

If you do feel warm, it’s not ‘cause it’s raining. Rather, they’re pissing on your back.

Oh, and remember, it was DSI that suggested the rip-off lease-buyback plan of taxpayer property (city paid $10.5M and was to receive $8M).

Allen also had consultants:

Provide “extra” auditing help.

Get rid of public records.

And then there’s Rod Harvey — Harvey who buried the $2.9M “cash issue” in the 2011 financial statements and the $2.5M “advance” from the CRA.

Chapter Five: Bite the hand that feeds you.

Well, forget about a few dozen TVs improperly procured, or the time snorting jello shooters off the belly of a female staffer while in DC, or paying his college fraternity dues with taxpayer’s money … all that pales in comparison to the shit he pulled on Broward County.

I mean, what Jonathan Allen did (and continues to do) to the taxpayer of Broward County was/is truly epic.

What you might not know, but do now, is that at the very last moment, Allen upped the BSO loan deal from $8M to $9.2M.

He burdened the taxpayer of Broward County an extra $1,200,000.00.

I’m wondering … does that $1.2M now leave a bad taste in your mouth (pun! — can you feel me Brown?).

Conclusion: Watch Your Wallets.

So to the people on the Broward County Commission dais, I say this.

Can we afford, and/or trust, the Lauderdale Lakes City Manager?

Do you feel comfortable doing business with Allen’s power broker, Commissioner :EH:?

How much more of our money are you will to risk on these assclowns?

One is under criminal investigation. The other lies and cheats his way through life (doing such “Christian things” as intentionally avoiding paying child support), sucks as a businessman, and well, is kinda an all-around-wanker.

So I hope you will agree when I say… “no more, we’re done.”

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Father of the world-famous Pabst Blue Ribbon Festivus Pole, Chaz’s antics are sure to entertain, educate, and irritate. Chaz has been appeared on The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Fox News, and hundreds of national media outlets, and several international newspapers.