Our Invite Must Have Gotten Lost in the Mail

We’ve been anxiously checking our mail since August 16, but it looks like we definitely, absolutely, undoubtedly will not be getting an invite to your wedding to Henry Hager this Saturday at your parents’ ranch in Crawford, Texas. We know that Lauren’s boyfriend isn’t even invited, so we’re not hurt (okay, we’re a little bit hurt). Rather than cry over spilled Champagne, we’ve devoted our day to soaking up every last scrap of news and speculation about the big event. But Jenna? If we had come, we would have added our names to the biggest present there.

With love,Bridal Party

The Associated Press gives us a great summary:“Here’s the lowdown: Jenna will wear an Oscar de la Renta gown with a small train. More than 200 friends and relatives will attend the outdoor ceremony with dinner and dancing. A tent is being erected at the Western White House. There are 14 bridesmaids. Barbara Bush, Jenna’s twin, is the maid of honor. She helped Hager make decisions about the ring. The diamond, a Hager family heirloom, was reset in a ring that also features sapphires.” [via AP]But wait, 14 bridesmaids? Tsk tsk, AP:“In lieu of bridesmaids, Jenna is sticking with Texas tradition by choosing 14 attendants to serve as members of the ‘House Party.’ The attendants will be dressed by Texas fashion designer Lela Rose. . . . Twin sister Barbara, the maid of honor, will also be dressed in designs by Rose but her dress will be different than the 14 attendants.” [via ABC News]

More on fashion:“Bush will wear an Oscar de la Renta gown with a small train. It’s made of organza, a sheer fabric, with embroidery and matte beading. Bush’s twin sister, Barbara, will be maid of honor, wearing a long, shimmering, moonstone blue silk gown with a fluttered open back. The bride has 14 attendants, known in Texas not as bridesmaids but members of the ‘house party.’ For them, New York designer Lela Rose, a native of Dallas, has made silk crinkle chiffon, cocktail-length dresses adorned with chiffon flowers. There are seven styles of dresses in seven colors that match the palate of Texas wildflowers.” [via the Chicago Tribune]

And jewelry:“As the sun begins to descend on Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas on May 10, 2008, its last rays will sparkle on the pair of Anthony Nak earrings which Jenna Bush will wear when she says ‘I do’ to Henry Hager. According to the Austin American-Statesman, the design team of Nak Armstrong and Anthony Camargo created the dangling adornments of ice quartz, the tear-drop shapes embraced by 18-carat white gold, platinum and small diamonds.” [via Lovetripper]

We really hope they release a video of the father/daughter dance:“The shocking father-bride dance? Nobody knows what to expect, according to Access Hollywood, but that George W. Bush sure loves to do ethnic dances! (Watch the horrifying video.)” [via Wonkette]The altar, if you care:“Bush had an altar built of limestone at his 1,600 acre (647 hectares) ranch for the ceremony, which will be held just before sundown when the notorious Texas heat subsides.” [via Reuters]

What else we’re missing:“The weekend is filled with events—a rehearsal dinner Friday and a barbecue lunch in addition to a wedding ceremony and reception Saturday.” [via ABC News]

This makes us feel better:“McDonough wouldn’t even say whether Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynne, were invited. And Cheney’s spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, wouldn’t cough up any information either.” [via the Washington Post]

And maybe we will get an invite?“Our sources say a White House celebration in honor of the couple is planned for the weekend of June 20. The Sleuth anxiously awaits an invitation . . . we’ll let you know what happens.” [via the Washington Post]