SOPHOCLIDISCA Pægnium, my charmer of a boy, save you; how are you? How do you do?

PÆG. Sophoclidisca, the Gods will favour me.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Why "me?" Which of us?

PÆG. I' faith, I don't know. But if they were to do as you deserve, by my troth they'd hold you in hate, and treat you but badly.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Do leave off your abusive talking.

PÆG. Since I'm saying just as you I'm talking to deserve, properly, not abusively.

SOPHOCLIDISCA What are you about now?

PÆG. Standing opposite to you, looking at a worthless woman.

SOPHOCLIDISCA For my own part, assuredly, I do not know any more good-for-nothing boy than yourself.

PÆG. What mischief do I do, or to what person do I speak abusively?

SOPHOCLIDISCA I' faith, to every one that you have the opportunity.

PÆG. Not an individual has ever thought so.

SOPHOCLIDISCA But, i' faith, full many a one knows that so it is.

PÆG. Heyday, indeed!

SOPHOCLIDISCA Heyday, indeed!

PÆG. According to your own disposition you judge of the ways of others.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I certainly do confess that I'm just as befits one of a Procurer's household to be.

PÆG. I've now had enough of your chattering.

SOPHOCLIDISCA What say you? Do you plead guilty to what I take you to be?

PÆG. If I were so, I should confess it.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Be off then; you've got the victory.

PÆG. Now then be off with you.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Do you then tell me this--whither are you going?

PÆG. Whither are you?

SOPHOCLIDISCA Say you.

PÆG. Say you.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I was the first to ask.

PÆG. Then you shall be the last to know.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I'm going not far hence.

PÆG. And I, indeed, not far.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Whither then, you rascal?

PÆG. Unless I know first of you, you shall never know this of me that you are enquiring.

SOPHOCLIDISCA On my honor you shall never this day know before I've heard it of you.

PÆG. Is such the fact?

SOPHOCLIDISCA Is such the fact?

PÆG. You are a worthless one.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Rogue.

PÆG. That befits me.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Me then it does not befit.

PÆG. What do you say? Are you quite determined, you hussy, to conceal whither you are going?

SOPHOCLIDISCA And are you quite resolved to hide whither you are betaking yourself, you scoundrel?

PÆG. You are giving answer to what I say like for like; be off with you then, since such is your determination. I don't care at all to know. Good-bye. Moving.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Stop!

PÆG. But I'm in a hurry.

SOPHOCLIDISCA And, i' faith, I as well.

PÆG. Have you got anything? Pointing to her hand.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Have you anything? Pointing likewise.

PÆG. Really nothing whatever.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Show me your hand then.

PÆG.showing his right hand . Is this the hand?

SOPHOCLIDISCA Where is that other, the pilfering left hand?

PÆG.hiding his left hand . Why, it is at home, d'ye see; I've not brought one hither.

SOPHOCLIDISCAtrying to seize his hand . You've got something, what it is I know not.

PÆG.pushing her away . Don't be mauling me about you she-groper.

SOPHOCLIDISCA But suppose I'm in love with you.

PÆG. You employ your pains to no purpose.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Why so?

PÆG. Why, because you are in love with nothing at all, when you are in love with one who doesn't return it.

SOPHOCLIDISCA It befits these youthful looks and age to be on the watch for pleasure il good time; so that, when your hair comes to change its hue, you may not be always in a grovelling servitude. Why, really, as yet you are not eighty pounds in weight.

PÆG. Still, that warfare is waged much more successfully by spirit than by weight. But I'm losing my pains.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Why so?

PÆG. Because I'm teaching those who know it all. But I'm loitering here. Moves.

SOPHOCLIDISCAtaking hold of him . Do stop.

PÆG. You are annoying to me.

SOPHOCLIDISCA And so I shall be then, if I don't find out whither you are betaking yourself.

PÆG. To your house.

SOPHOCLIDISCA And I to your house, i' faith.

PÆG. Why thither?

SOPHOCLIDISCA What's that to you?

PÆG.standing before her . Why, you shan't go now, unless, in return, I know.

SOPHOCLIDISCA You are teazing.

PÆG. I choose to.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Never, upon my faith, shall you wring this out of me, so as to prove yourself more artful than I am.

PÆG. It's a misery to contend with you in artfulness.

SOPHOCLIDISCA You are a mischievous baggage.

PÆG. What is there for you to fear?

SOPHOCLIDISCA The very same that there is for you.

PÆG. Say then, what is it?

SOPHOCLIDISCA But I'm forbidden to tell this to any person, and am instructed that all the dumb people are to speak of it before myself.

PÆG. And most especially was I cautioned not to trust this to any person, so that all the dumb people were to mention this before myself.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Still, do you do so; on giving our words, let's trust each other.

PÆG. I know this--all procuresses are light of faith, and the weight of a water-gnat4 is not more light than is the word of a procurer.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Tell me, there's a dear.

PÆG. Tell me, there's a dear.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I don't want to be your dear.

PÆG. You'll easily prevail upon me in that.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Keep it yourself.

PÆG. And you be mum about this. Showing her a letter.

SOPHOCLIDISCA It shall be kept a secret.

PÆG. It shall not be known. She shows him a letter.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I'm carrying this letter to Toxilus, your master.

PÆG. Be off; he's there at home. And I am carrying this pinewood tablet sealed, to Lemniselene, your mistress.

SOPHOCLIDISCA What's written there.

PÆG. If you don't know, pretty much like yourself, I don't know, except soft words, perhaps.

SOPHOCLIDISCA I'm off.

PÆG. And I'll be off.

SOPHOCLIDISCA Move on then. They go into the respective houses.

1Give you something to add: "Peculiabo." Some Commentators will have it that an indecent allusion is intended here. Possibly they are not mistaken; but it is a rather far-fetched one.

2The ostrich: "Marinus passer." Literally, the "sea-sparrow," Pægnium alludes to the mode in which the ostrich runs, in answer to the order of Toxilus, who tells him to fly. The ostrich, as it runs, flaps it wings as though flying. Referring to Roman customs, Pægnium speaks as though he had seen ostriches in the Roman Circus. These, and wild beasts of every description, were hunted there at the "Venationes," for the amusement of the people. It is not improbable that ostriches had been recently introduced into Rome, as forming part of the spoil of the Carthaginians. The Emperor Probus, several centuries after this period, gave a "Venatio" of a thousand ostriches in the Circus.

3At this bar: Seeing Sophoclidisca, he knows that she will stop him for a bit of gossip, and he consequently stvles her an "obex," a "bar" or "impediment."

4Weight of a water-gnat: "Tipulæ," a "water-gnat," or "waterspider." This is a very pretty illustration. On a sunny day these little animals may be seen in hundreds skating over the surface of still water. Warner suggests that this simile may have been a proverbial one.

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