Bionic Commando nails bionic arm, fails at everything else

Bionic Commando has a name with a large following, but linear gameplay, weak …

Bionic Commando has many, many loyal fans, so a remake of the classic arcade and NES title was a good business decision. The final product that hopes to bring the characters and concepts into the modern day may leave even the faithful out in the cold, however. The main hook the game offers—swinging across large environments with the character's bionic, zip-line of an arm—is done well... mostly. Everything else drags the game into mediocrity.

While the graphics may be impressive (although the framerate could use some work), you'll never be able to explore all those demolished cityscapes or lush forests you see in the distance. Why? The city was destroyed by nuclear bombs, and you were released from prison to investigate. You were locked up unfairly, which gives your character an excuse to be filled with angst and speak in a grating, always-angry-and-gruff tone. Since the city was irradiated, if you try to go off the game's surprisingly limited linear path, you'll die of radiation poisoning. All those pretty things in the distance? Ignore them, this is a game that forces you to stick to one restrictive path.

Every now and again you'll be forced into smaller, interior environments where you'll be using an ever-present handgun that feels underpowered and rather lame. You sometimes find other weapons as they're delivered via pods that fall from the sky near your position, but ammo is short. In almost every situation, you're better off using the offensive capabilities of your bionic arm, which can be fun, although fighting wave after wave of lifeless enemies gets old very quickly. There are some larger baddies to contend with, but if you've played a game or two since the original, you'll know what to do. Maybe take a look at that glowing thing on their backs?

The list of annoyances goes on. Long loading times are the rule, and since you'll all too often find yourself running into radiation when you thought you were on the right path, you'll be loading more than you'd like. Water is also a killer, since your heavy arm causes you to drown unless you can grab onto something in a second or two. Even as you're moving from area to area, you'll be running into frequent and long load times.

Playing cautiously is a good idea, as checkpoints are too far apart. This leads to some soul-sucking instances of having to do the same section over, and over, and over. Don't worry about the story: there are no major surprises that aren't predictable, and the voice acting borders on the satirical.

Are we being too hard on Bionic Commando? Maybe. But it always feels like the game just barely misses being something better, and there is more here to be annoyed at than excited by. When something like inFamous is able to take place in a huge, open city with no load times and a linear, tiny game like Bionic Commando forces you to the sidelines with so much loading, there is something wrong. It simply kills the pace of the game.

The last straw is how short the game is. I was shocked when I put in a leisurely stroll through the title's first few areas, and saw that I was more than 10 percent done with the game. I actually spoke to another reviewer from another site to verify this, and he said that he believed the counter may be broken. Nope, after playing more, it's just that short. If you take the time to do some collecting, you might get six hours out of this. The multiplayer may add a few hours of enjoyment, but it doesn't add nearly enough to bring up the score or make up for the sins of the single-player campaign. Once again, the weak weapons hurt the experience.

If you're a huge fan of the original, you may want to rent this and run through it, but that's the lightest of recommendations. For everyone else, this is a solid...�