After ending my relationship of 6 years to my first 'proper' boyfriend due to his infidelity (and a secret love child with one of his employees as I later found out) I was made redundant. Twice. This is my rise from Rock Bottom and the antics along the way.
p.s. I drive a Mini Cooper...
The adventures can be found in my blog posts in the left hand column, start on 19th Oct with "When The S**t Hit The Fan"...

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Saturday, 22 October 2011

Bra Hook Productions...

So, we are in Greece.

The same "oh crap, nakedness fills me with fear". The "oh good god I've got to do IT with someone else at some point" is still very prevalent. Is Greece the perfect place to do IT? I could just do IT the once, and I'll never have to see the person again? Just need to get IT out of the way... I'll think about it.

Miss Handsome and I get to our hotel room, and having had no sleep we decide to take a little nap before breakfast. I still can't quite believe I am in Greece! Breakfast occurs and the OCD sets in, although Miss Handsome hasn't noticed it yet.. I just need to keep it under control, it will be fine.

I have had OCD ever since I can remember, I am very particular about food, more so how it is prepared/served than what it is, and also like to have things in a particular order. And I have a thing about teeth brushing. It has just been a part of who I am for as long as I can remember, but when in such close proximity to someone who I don't usually spend so much time with it can be a problem, because they just aren't used to it.

We spend the first day by the pool just relaxing, but I can't say I was too relaxed that day. Evening comes and after dinner we decide that making the most of our all-inclusive package is a good idea. Hhhmmm what to do. Lets play bingo! However in Greece they don't play bingo the way you play bingo in England. Miss Handsome and The Quiet One made a name for themselves that night! Following calling bingo, when in fact we hadn't actually played right, and being called to stage and humiliated for actually not getting it correct we started talking to the people who were sat next to us. 4 guys. I won't lie, I can only remember one of their names Mr Roads. Some of the reps also decide to introduce themselves to the new girls and we all decide to head to a nearby bar.

Feeling a little drunk (attributed to the large greek measures rather than the fact I am such a lightweight!) we kind of end up separated. Miss Handsome with Mr Hungary and Me with Mr Roads. Miss Handsome asks if I mind if she ducks out of the bar with with Mr Hungary, she talks quietly and says that I will be fine with Mr Roads and that she wouldn't leave me unless she was sure I would be ok. I am drunk. I put my complete trust in her opinion at that point. Mr Roads and I walk back to the apartment and I ask him in. This is my chance to get IT over and done with and never have to see him again! Brilliant!

We are kissing and then we carry on kissing and some more kissing... I am thinking "can't we just get this over and done with" but there is more kissing. I have never come across this before! I haven't slept with many people and granted IT has been with the same person for so long but I'm used to a bit of a frenzy, clothes being ripped off and just quite passionate and in the moment. I actually decide that I shouldn't be kissing him and thinking these things so I should just say something... Somehow my top is off and I just remember him looking at my bra like it was a new product brought by Apple. He did not have a clue how to undo my bra.

At this point I'm thinking, I don't want a sweet innocent virgin. I want my first and last one-night thing. If he can't undo my bra he cant give me what I'm after. I sent him home. I put my top on, and actually pointed to the door saying "Just go home now!" About 6am Miss H comes in and I tell her everything... she is laughing a lot! She had her first sunlounger experience of the holiday that night...

A couple of days later we start to meet other people and generally we were doing what everyone does... we were drinking and being single twenty-something ladies.. Minus the sex on my part! One night we are in a bar (drunk, what did you expect?!) and Miss H and I decide that matching tattoos would be a brilliant holiday souvenir... (Where did Little Miss Sensible go?!)...