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Saturday, May 26, 2012

Ruin is the road to transformation

Ever been in a place of life when it appears like all that surrounds you
is coming apart?

Life has an amazing way of teaching us the value of things without
putting a price tag upon it. As we become more exposed to life’s challenges, we
have the option of imbibing them and thus adding to the value of that experience,
or excluding their intrinsic value from our life, making us the poorer for it.

Here in New Zealand, we are still in the re-building process from the Earthquake over a year ago now and still daily experiencing after shocks. Our neighbors in Japan are too starting all over again. That sinking feeling that sucks out the life from within, is slowly being replaced with the will to live again. However, earthquakes of a personal nature effect people all over the world day by day. The loss of a loved one, relational breakups, ill health, financial ruin and hardship are all part of the personal landscape that shapes our present and for many our future. Its not the amount of rubble that takes out breath away, its the loss of normalcy. Things never return to normal, the horizon changes but new things come into focus that paint a new horizon. The paint brush is still in our hand even though the canvas has changed, we should begin to repaint the horizon that is our future.

“Bottom line is, I didn't
return to Apple to make a fortune. I've been very lucky in my life and already
have one. When I was 25, my net worth was $100 million or so. I decided then
that I wasn't going to let it ruin my life. There's no way you could ever spend
it all, and I don't view wealth as something that validates my intelligence”.Steve Jobs

Most of us have grown up in a social environment, conditioned to strive
for success. So powerful is that environment, that we view failure as being
detrimental to our life and thus to be avoided at all costs. Sadly, when
failure does come (and it does), we see it as being a negative experience and
an indication of our weakness. Is failure a negative experience? If so, then on
the contrary, is success always positive?

“Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner
conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist”.Karen Horney

Even our spiritual values are often aligned to this philosophy. We are
taught that the sign of favour is a blessing and our lack, a curse. Taking this
concept to its ultimate conclusion, we may view our surroundings as the litmus
test of our standing with God. When things go good, we are in Gods favour, when
things go bad we have stepped out of His favour. The truth is, success and
failure are all part of the development of character through an inner awareness
of our self and our God.

The value of life lies not in
the length of days, but in the use we make of them... Whether you find
satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will.Michel de
Montaigne

As a child, I recall my mum warning me of going too near the stove. I had
a child’s awareness of consequences and curiosity. I accidentally pulled a kettle
of boiling water onto myself. It resulted in my hospitalization and years of
surgery visits. I still bear the scars today and the memories of the events are
not positive.

“God will not look you over for
medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars”.Elbert Hubbard

"The Lord gets His best soldiers out of the highlands of
affliction." Charles H. Spurgeon

Everything in life is
fleeting. Here for a season and after it has left its mark, moves on to endow its
wisdom and understanding on yet another unsuspecting person. What we consider
as successes, may not be there tomorrow. On the contrary, the same can be said
of our failure, our worries, anxieties, fears and feelings of inadequacies.
Despite our scars, we can rebuild our lives, but the essence of the rebuild is
found in embracing the ruins.

“Anyone who cannot come to
terms with his life while he is alive needs one hand to ward off a little his
despair over his fate... but with his other hand he can note down what he sees
among the ruins”.Franz Kafka

There are some powerful lessons to be learned from tragedy. Being
vulnerable yet able to count the cost amongst the rubble is but one. In order
to rebuild, we must first be willing to accept that the ruins form part of the
building process and the view, when completed, will be unique. Scars and all.

“You can't change the
past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future”

"Those from among you will rebuild the
ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be
called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to
dwell.Isaiah 58:12

Recently, I watched a
movie called “Eat Pray Love”. It touched a raw spot in my life and reminded me
of several experiences I had endured on my journey in life. I love the fact
that actors can stir our emotions to act. There is a pivotal point in the movie
when the key character (Julia Roberts) makes a personal discovery on her
sojourn, whilst in Rome. It resonated with me on many levels, but none so more
than the empowerment that comes to us when we realize things change constantly
and much of that change is out of our control. How we respond when the dust
settles, determines how we build out of the rubble.

“A friend took me
to the most amazing place the other day. It’s called the Augusteum. Octavian
Augustus built it to house his remains. When the barbarians came they trashed
it along with everything else. The great Augustus, Rome’s first true great
emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was
concerned, would be in ruins? It’s one of the quietest, loneliest places in
Rome. The city has grown up around it over the centuries. It feels like a
precious wound, a heartbreak you won’t let go of because it hurts too good. We
all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we’re
afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked around at this
place, at the chaos it has endured – the way it has been adapted, burned,
pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured,
maybe my life hasn’t been so chaotic, it’s just the world that is, and the real
trap is getting attached to any of it.Ruin
is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.”

Eat Pray Love

Faith is the strength by which
a shattered world shall emerge into the light.Helen Keller

Coaching 4 Life Blog

About Me

I enjoy bringing the best out of people and being a part of a global family. I operate Coaching 4 Life ltd and travel as an itinerant Pastor and support worker in most aspects of leadership development.
I have traveled extensively to speak @ conferences, congregations, leadership seminars, businesses and coaching clinics. Most recently, my focus has been in the education sector, providing quality control, workplace assessment, academic and curriculum development.

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Hi, and welcome to "I've Been Thinking".

My intention with this blog, is not to deluge the "blogasphere" with meaningless chatter, or even to gain accolade among my peers. It is a place where I can collate the myriad of thoughts and musings I have floating around my mind. To those of you who are reading, I hope it in some way spurs you on to at least think.

Unity is not "sameness", it is diversity with a measure of commonality. The hardest thing to open is a closed mind, and the bravest thing we can do is open our mind to the risk that we may have a change of thinking that could lead to a changed and empowered lifestyle.

The snippets that you read, will @ some point find themselves in a book I am writing (or have written), inspiration from others will be credited so.

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At "Iv'e Been Thinking," all successes, accuracies and appreciations are attributed to God.