It’s not very often I sit at my computer and let out an audible “Wow. Just wow.” Well, it just happened, thanks to this video dropped by You Can’t Take The Boy Outta Brooklyn. David Hasselhoff performing “Secret Agent Man.” In hi-def. Brandishing a gun. And a jet-pack. And… wow. Just watch it. Now I know why I woke up this morning.

Who knew Cindy Crawford was an Ultimate Fighting Fan? Apparently, the married mom and supermodel is so hot for the sport she had eight time champion Matt Hughes sign her right breast while her husband stood by looking on. While it appears he signed his name, here’s what we think he really wrote: Matt Hearts Boob. Leave your signature translations in the comments section…

I’ve got to admit to being both surprised an disheartened by the “you know, this isn’t that bad” attitude people have been taking towards the leaked song and video from Paris Hilton’s forthcoming album. Just because your sonic expectations were probably set somewhere between “listening to your puppy die” and “press-on fingernails dragging across the world’s longest chalkboard”, doesn’t mean you should suddenly become a Paris apologist when her song ends up more in the neighborhood of “harmlessly generic MTV reality show background music”. If you think I’m being harsh, I challenge you to listen to a few more of her leaked tracks, then give me one logical reason why this music isn’t awful.

According to The Sun, Britney Spears is furious after discovering that husband Kevin Federline is working on making a film about his life. The report goes on to say that K-Fed is planning to portray himself in a similar fashion as his idol and inspiration Eminem did in 8 Mile, which is undoubtedly his all-time favorite movie. While we can only hope this genius piece of cinema makes its way to theaters very soon, your friends here at BWE have managed to obtain a segment from an early draft of the screenplay, which was written by K-Fed himself and is tentatively titled “Fresno F*cking Around”. See it for yourselves after the jump!

Two of America’s hottest sex symbols make their triumphant return to the small screen tonight, June 8th: Dylan McKayLuke Perry on NBC’s Windfall, and Drew Carey on Drew Carey’s Sporting Adventures on The Travel Channel. I’m not sure which one I’m more excited about.

Also on tonight: The MTV Movie Awards hosted by Jessica Alba. We already know that Wedding Crashers cleans up, that Gnarls Barkley steals the show, and that Jessica Alba is easy on the eyes. But what we don’t know is how many awkward cutaways to stone-faced celebrities the producers will bless us with each time one of Alba’s jokes falls flat. The over/under is 8. What are YOU watching tonight? Vote now!

Things might not be as perfect as they seem in Africa. That’s right, we’re talking about Brad and Angelina. The National Enquirer is reporting that Brad Pitt might not be the father of new baby Shiloh. Sources say Angelina told friends she had slept with another man, which means there’s trouble in Brangelina’s Namibian paradise. We’re not sure if any of this is true, but check out this very first second picture of baby Shiloh that People posted on their site today. Brad looks less like an adoring dad, and more like he’s examining the kid to see if she inherited any of his features. From what I can see, Shiloh’s got Colin Farrell’s nose, Johnny Lee Miller’s coloring and Bruce Willis’ hairline. Sorry Brad, but it looks like this calls for a paternity test. And a live studio audience. And Maury Povich.