College Basketball Top 25: Kentucky Lost Again, But Can They Still Go Undefeated?

Each week we’ll bring you the AP’s college basketball rankings along with serious, measured, professional analysis. Let’s get to week 6!

1. Arizona (2)

The Wildcatsbeat New Mexico State and Michigan last week, staying undefeated.

2. Syracuse (2)

The Orange beat St. John’s last week. In order to keep the rivalry going now that they’re in different conferences, the teams decided to raise the stakes. Syracuse is looking forward to opening its Rome campus in the fall.

3. Ohio State

The Buckeyes beat Bryant and North Dakota State last week. This may be, in part, due to Thad Matta’s hands-on approach.

4. Wisconsin

The Badgers beat Milwaukee and Eastern Kentucky last week. As usual, the Milwaukee game was huge, with Kanye, Kevin Hart, Bruce Willis, Emma Roberts, and Michel Gondry all in attendance

5. Michigan State

The Spartans snuck by Oakland, my nemesis, last week. At least this time the Golden Grizzlies had the wherewithal to stay close to home.

The Cowboys beat Louisiana Tech, Karl Malone’s alma mater, last week. On my list of people I’d like to hear discussing this game, Malone is 7,111,365,721st.

8. Duke

The Blue Devils had no games last week, instead helping Coach K craft his upcoming screed against giving gifts for Christmas. He’s been on fire this year.

8. Villanova

The Wildcats beat La Salle last week, proving that they are exactly as good as Duke was a week earlier.

10. Connecticut

The Huskies had no games last week, instead choosing to carol throughout New England.

11. Wichita State

The Shockers beat Tennessee last week. Despite the loss, the Volunteers’ Jordan McRae gave the Shockers a piece of his mind.

12. Baylor

The Bears had no games last week, instead choosing to protect a company of dwarves.

13. Oregon

The Ducks beat Illinois last week. They will play the UC – Irvine Anteaters this week, and intend to spread the floor with a combination of 3s and honey.

14. North Carolina

The Tar Heels beat Directionless Kentucky last week, scoffing at the paltry wins Louisville and Wisconsin recorded in comparison.

15. Memphis

The Tigers beat Arkansas – Little Rock last week in a game seventeen people called The Battle for I-40. At best, it was a skirmish.

16. Florida

The Gators beat Kansas last week, pushing us that much closer to college basketball’s ourobouros. Once it is complete, they are released from the faustian bargain that secured them the win and do not have to be involved in any Human Centipede shenanigans.

17. Iowa State

The Cyclones beat Iowa last week. Both teams warmed up by beating a lesser Iowa school (Northern Iowa and Drake, respectively), because the Iowa basketball hierarchy must always be clear.

18. Kansas

The Jayhawks lost to Florida but beat New Mexico last week. They’re only 7-3, but they’re Kansas so does it really matter?

The Buffaloes beat Elon last week in a matchup that couldn’t possibly have arisen naturally. Not content with this eclectic meeting, after the game AD Rick George claimed he could name all Division 1 basketball schools, alphabetically, backwards. No one had time to contest his claim.

21. Gonzaga

The Bulldogs beat West Virginia and South Alabama last week. They intend to chase the dragon this week, playing Western Alaska, Northeast North Dakota, and South Africa.

22. Massachusetts

The Minutemen beat Northern Illinois last week. Despite being in the A-10 for basketball, now that they’ve gotten a taste the Minutemen want more MACtion. They NEED more MACtion.

23. Missouri

The Tigers beat Western Michigan last week. Amazingly, someone who was at this game will remember it for the rest of their life.

24. San Diego State

The Aztecs had no games last week, ensuring a denser schedule going forward. Unfortunately, that’s the sacrifice the Aztecs have to make.

25. Iowa

The Hawkeyes beat Fairleigh Dickinson but lost to Iowa State last week. The FDU win, like all of their wins, came with Jeremy Renner in attendance.