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Friday, May 20, 2011

Losing a Child

I am not doing well. Every day I am the ocean with waves knocking me about. And I can't breathe. I am held in place by anger that wants me to die in my son's place. Simple every day things elude me and feel so senseless. I have great Faith in God and am trying to let this happen so it will get easier. When does it get easier? Dear Mother and Father God, know that I am desperate to see where Timothy is now and I need to know he is at peace.
Please take me, take me. I love all my sons so much and could have done an infinitely better job of raising them. I need to know that my son is at Peace.
I am learning the lesson, "Not my will, but Thine." It hurts it hurts so much.