A drug stereotypically popular in England. Comes from India or China. Sold in brightly coloured boxes advertising its healthy properties. Highly addictive. Massive advertising campaigns on TV and billboards.
Responsible for the Britiah Empire, but superceded by coffee in the American Empire, due to coffee's more intense hit. Universally drunk by English people.
The best way to drink it is in a mug, with milk and two sugars. Some people only have one, but that's just being in denial. Two sugars or none, that's my motto. Or even worse, one and a half. Come on, who are you fooling? Some people get really kinky and drink it BLACK. NO milk, NO sugar, NO hope. No way. Simply Wrong.

I would recommend undertaking tea addiction. Luckily it is available at every corner store, at very reasonable prices. You may have seen adverts on TV, e.g. "Yorkshire Tea.. the way tea USED to be." Yeah, back in the days before the evil American Empire. When it was the British Empire instead.Tea is one of the best things ever, I love it. I'm drinking it now.

The Elixir of life. No greater destiny can be known by any leaf than this: that it should lay down its life as an infusion.
The British nation consumes a larger volume of water each day in tea than in every other domestic soft drink put together, including drinking water straight.
When they say we are a nation of tea drinkers, they're not taking the pee. (Although thanks to the diuretic properties of tea, shortly afterwards, most of us are.)

Brit 1: Fancy a cuppa?
Brit 2: Erm, what time is it?
Brit 1: 11:15.
Brit 2: Give me five minutes, I've just got to pee out the 10:30.
<vanishes, and promptly reappears looking happy.>
Brit 2: Bring it on. Milk, two sugars, and put it in a mug, not one of those girlie cups on saucers. Think Man Tea.