Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Land of Oz

Actually, Oz is a lot more connected to reality than Boulder, Colorado is.

The [City] Council decided after midnight Wednesday to postpone voting on anordinance that would require trash collectors operating within the city toinclude up to 32 gallons of bi-weekly compost material pickup. The delay wasdesigned so city staffers can think more about what effect the program wouldhave on bears and other area wildlife.

Yes, let those stuffy staffers stew on it. Elsewhere in the story below, they said this would be a "voluntary" program, but give them time.

Seriously, give them time. It won't stay voluntary.

Mayor Shaun McGrath ...and others said language requiring “tight-fittinglids” on all trash, recyclable and compost containers was too vague andpotentially impossible to enforce — and a proposed $1,000 fine for attractingbears or other wildlife to outdoor bins might be unfair.“I don’t know what a container is that doesn’t attract wildlife,” City Attorney Jerry Gordon said.“How would I prosecute people for not having it?”

I'm sure the enviro-gestapo that run Boulder can find a way. (Hyperbola? My recollection is that the wanna-be cops they have driving around in green cars to enforce environmental regulations actually carry guns.)

Will find a way. It's what they do.

Councilman Matt Appelbaum said requiring all residents to have a specialbear-proof container could be one of the solutions to Gordon’s question.“It probably is what makes sense,” he said.

See? Told you so.

Appelbaum noted, however, that he’s aware of the potentially enormous cost of that measure.

Aware, and absolutely doesn't give a flying ... Wallenda.

Bear-proof bins typically cost about $200 and require extra labor fromcollection companies to open and dump into trucks. ...Councilman Ken Wilsonestimated the total cost to outfit every trash container in the city withspecial bear-proof bins at $2 million.

Imagine being required to spend your time to convert all your throwaway food into compost, pay the garbage collection company EXTRA to pick it up, AND be required to pay for a bear-proof compost bin to boot. In the city limits. And then be fined $1000 for each incident in which a bear decides to visit your compost bin. Can you imagine all the bears that will want to wander around the neighborhood from where the aroma of all this compost is emanating? (No, I'm not talking about the City Council chambers.) Can you imagine LIVING in the neighborhood from which all the aroma of all this compost is emanating. MMM-boy. Get's my appetite juices flowing. Some good eatin', Granny.

Well, they ain't bears, but close enough.

FYI, there ain't no $200 "bear proof bin". You've got to make it out of some reasonably thick steel. Probably at least 1/8 inch. Anything made of wood or plastic the bears will tear apart. (I've talked to people who have dealt with this problem -- even 3/4 plywood doesn't stop them.) If they can make a bear-proof for under $500, I'd be real surprised.

Give me munchkins and the Wicked Witch of the West any day, compared to the Bold Idiots that habitate this town.

Requiring costly bear-proof trash containers or allowing only vegetable matter to sit in residential compost bins are options that need to be considered before a proposed citywide curbside composting program would be viable, some Boulder City Council members say.

The council decided after midnight Wednesday to postpone voting on an ordinance that would require trash collectors operating within the city to include up to 32 gallons of bi-weekly compost material pickup. The delay was designed so city staffers can think more about what effect the program would have on bears and other area wildlife.

Private trash-hauling companies had been preparing for the program, and some planned to begin offering the compost pickup service — and an optional bi-weekly trash pickup service — beginning in late June.Instead, the city’s largest trash collector, Western Disposal, will hold off on changes to its service routes until the council comes to a decision.

Mayor Shaun McGrath asked the council to delay the vote because of concerns that some of the language in the proposed ordinance was unclear.Specifically, McGrath and others said language requiring “tight-fitting lids” on all trash, recyclable and compost containers was too vague and potentially impossible to enforce — and a proposed $1,000 fine for attracting bears or other wildlife to outdoor bins might be unfair.

“I don’t know what a container is that doesn’t attract wildlife,” City Attorney Jerry Gordon said. “How would I prosecute people for not having it?”

Councilman Matt Appelbaum said requiring all residents to have a special bear-proof container could be one of the solutions to Gordon’s question.“It probably is what makes sense,” he said.

Appelbaum noted, however, that he’s aware of the potentially enormous cost of that measure. Bear-proof bins typically cost about $200 and require extra labor from collection companies to open and dump into trucks.“It costs a lot of money to do it right,” he said. “I’d like to know what people think about it.”

Councilman Ken Wilson estimated the total cost to outfit every trash container in the city with special bear-proof bins at $2 million.“That’s a big tax,” Wilson said. “We really ought to consider what we’re doing here before we push this off on the whole city.

John Koehler, a district wildlife officer for the Colorado Division of Wildlife, said the plan as originally written would probably cause problems for Boulder’s growing bear population.

“We certainly have a sizable bear issue in Boulder,” Koehler said. “The concern from the division is that the compost program, specifically the inclusion of food, was going to be a problem.”

Koehler said 16 Boulder bears have been either killed or relocated by state wildlife officers in the past five years.

“That doesn’t take into account all the bear calls we respond to where we try very hard not to put hands on a bear,” he said.

Another potential solution, suggested by Western Disposal president Gary Horton and endorsed by Koehler, would be to temporarily allow only yard waste and vegetable matter — and not meat or dairy — to sit in compost bins in an effort to keep animals away.

The suggestion garnered support among the council.

“I think that would be pretty simple for people to integrate,” Councilwoman Angelique Espinoza said. “This is food that is already sitting on the curb” in trash bins.

The council directed its staff to return “as soon as possible” with alternative proposals for curbside composting.

The council has two more regular meetings scheduled, on May 20 and June 3, before it begins a monthlong summer break.

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