This is Why You’re Fat

One time, I had an eggroll party. After many drinks, we made a Skittles eggroll. The Skittles melted together in a grainy, slimy glob of sugar, and all the candy-coated shells blended to become a purply red. The partygoers ate it. All of it. Serious.

A DiGorno pizza atop a Jack’s pizza topped with Totino’s pizza rolls.

That eggroll, had I taken a picture, could have garnered me some fame if I sent an image to ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com. The site features a grotesque selection of heart-clogging food ideas, such as: macaroni and cheese pizza, the tempura burger, Spam sushi, the chocolate-coated churro relleno, the Oreo donut and so much more.

Look through them if you’re seeking inspiration to have a salad for lunch this workday. (Thanks, Joel, for the web find!)