SOAP BOX

This weekend we finally returned to Portland! We had a really amazing time, just editing these pictures made me miss it already. If everything goes right, we should be back early next year! So keep sending us recommendations on things to do and things to eat.

Day 1! On Saturday, Jackie and I woke up early to catch our flight. We took Southwest, and while boarding we started to freak out a little bit. We didn't know our seat numbers after handing over our boarding passes. It turns out this flight had open seating like a bus. I never flew like that, but it wasn't that bad. We did have to sit apart on the flight home since it was packed like a sardine can.

This air bnb house was super weird, but in a good way. My bed's headboard was made out of a bicycle frame with car parts welded onto it. It also had some weird bed posts that looked like someone would handcuff you to in some weird sex dungeon (No judgement, just an observation).

We kicked off the trip right with lunch at Sizzle Pie. They have the best T-shirts from any food place I've ever visited. This kicked off the need for me to get some merch from the food places that I ate at. I think food tees will be the new band tee.

I really dislike vegan pizza, but Sizzle Pie had an awesome vegan pie. They replaced the cheese with tofu. I really prefer replacing cheese with something else to trying to make fake cheese.

After Sizzle Pie we shopped around and it was already time to hit up Pok Pok. So we got a ton of Thai food. It was really good, and we shared a bunch of dishes. The wings were really good. It had chili seeds on them, which tore my stomach up later. But I had to push on through this food journey.

We ended the night with Salt & Straw ice cream. I asked the worker there to hook it up with his favorite flavor. He gave me Candy Copia. Which was a bunch of fun sized chocolate bars. I think there was ice cream somewhere in the cone.

Day 2! We all headed out to Pine State for an early breakfast. My stomach was kicking, so I went light with a biscuit BLT. Pine State has really great biscuits, so you can't go wrong with anything on a biscuit there.

Kris grabbed the very last cinnamon roll. The fisheye lens doesn't show off how massive that thing really is.

After breakfast the group split up. Six of them went on some huge 6 mile hike in each direction. The remaining four didn't know that they were about to take on the food challenge of a lifetime. We ate at a total of 15 different spots, and traversed almost 7 miles.

We started off the food venture at Stumptown Coffee. We then walked over to Voodoo Donuts. I couldn't wait to get my bacon maple bar. That would have to be my favorite donut there.

My friend Jamie visited Portland last year and recommended a place called Fire on the Mountain. It was only 1.5 miles away from Voodoo, so we decided to take a nice walk there. We discovered Kris really hates walking over bridges, because they can collapse at any moment. He especially hates bridges over water, because he can't swim. So use this knowledge to your advantage at any time.

We made it over the bridge (Even Kris (slow clap)) to Fire on the Mountain. I got the Lime cilantro wings. There were some hidden chili seeds on this!

Spayde heard of this place called Man Guy Dude Bro. Wait, I mean Nong's Khao Man Gai. He got the chicken and T-shirt combo for $20. After this we walked to another Sizzle Pie, because why not?

The next destination was Clyde Common. We got some bourbon in us and a few sides. The popcorn was spicy and sweet. It was delicious. All these spicy decisions were killing me slowly inside.

My tattoo artist Alvin posted about Lardo, so I thought it was worth a look. We walked in and asked what the best sandwich was. The guy at the counter said it was the Pho-rench Dip. This isn't what Spayde wanted to hear, so he let me pick. The Korean pork shoulder sounded amazing, and it did not disappoint. This was probably one of the best sandwiches I've had in a long time.

So all the locals say don't go to Voodoo because it's over hyped. Blue Star Donuts is what you want. I liked both donuts, there are so many donuts that every place has good ones and not so hot ones.

We went next door to grab some Little Big Burgers. These little little burgers were just okay, even though a couple people recommended it. Portland kills it in the breakfast department, but so far I think California is dominating the burger making. But hey! tell us where to go for a good burger.

The sun was setting and we met back at the house with Group B. Just in time for Sizzle Pie to arrive. We really want to try A Pizza Sholls next time! We keep hearing good things about that place.

After a couple of pizzas we headed back out to eat. I finally tried poutine. It's just cheese curds, gravy, and fries. It sounds simple, but it sure is tasty! Spayde and Kris opted for Guns and Chicken.

These food carts had a pretty sweet setup. We watched Naked Gun while we ate. I heard that they set up these carts on private lots, because they can't park food trucks in the street.

Just after Sizzle Pie, and poutine I was really starting to feel the effects of our food venture. I was ready to tap out. We drove over to an ice cream joint called Fifty Licks. Their ice cream brought me back to life! I had some sort of orange creamsicle in a hot freshly made cone. I was revived.

We ended the night with coffee and tea. Group B was tired from their hike, and Group A was overly full off everything Portland had to offer. It was time to call it a night.

Day 3! I was still so full from the day before. But it was time to eat again. We went to a place called Screen Door. This place was amazing! I'm kind of bummed that I went so light on breakfast there.

I ordered a yeast risen waffle. Light, airy, crisp, prefect. They gave Nick a bonus piece of chicken... I think they felt bad for him and thought he needed the protein. He couldn't finish his chicken and gave some to me. This was the best fried chicken I have ever eaten! Roscoe's fried chicken is kind of garbage. Sorry to all those Roscoe's lovers, but I'm about to ruin your day. If you eat these chicken and waffles, all other chicken and waffle spots will be ruined for you.

The rest of the day was spent shopping around and grabbing some last minute goods.

This Filson jacket and Imogene + Willie hat were my favorite pick ups from this trip.

We also got to meet Fiver! The Imogene + Willie shop pug. This little guy was so chill.

After shopping, Jackie and I had to catch an Uber to the airport. We made it just in time, with 10 minutes to spare before take off. I was hoping to catch some more weird stuff during the trip. I think so much of Portland trickles down to San Francisco and Los Angeles that it seemed less weird to me. I can see lumberjacks walking around Echo Park now, but I still haven't seen any super tall walking jesters yet.

Actually I'm about to feel bad right now. None of that Portland trip really happened. It was all just a green screen prank. Sorry we George Lucas-ed you!