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February 14, 2017

Platform 49 Points in 3 Quarters

-- A sad Jazz story told in Harry Potter terms

The Jazz scored 49 points in the first three quarters of yesterday’s game, a mark so low it descends beyond the plodding pace of college basketball and plants itself firmly in church ball scoring territory. 49 points in three quarters is near impossible. It’s 16 points a quarter, which is 32 points per half, which is 1 point shy of what the Clippers scored in the 3rd quarter alone. Klay Thompson scored 37 points in one quarter for Pistol Pete's sake. Such a non-performance demands commemorating. Let’s take a look at the cast of characters who played a role.

The Boy Who Lived to Brick – Trey Lyles went bagel for nine missing 4 shots in the key, 4 shots from downtown, and one from midrange. At least he was diverse in disaster. Stay strong Trey. You outlived Trey Burke in the battle of first names so there’s that.

The Vanishing Glass – George Hill is a classic vanisher. Sometimes he plays, sometimes he has a sore toe. Sometimes he plays well, sometimes he goes 2 for 11. I already hate the contract the Jazz are going to give him in the summer. I have a nickname for it. I call it the Block-Exum’s-Development contract and it sucks.

The Keeper of the Key – DeAndre Jordan owned the lane last night. He went 5 for 7 from close range, boarded 13, and blocked 3. Jordan defended 12 shots within 10 feet of the hoop and the Jazz scored on only 4 of them. Typically the Jazz shoot 60% within 10 feet; Jordan limited them to half that.

The Man With Two Faces – I've loved Hayward ever since draft night when the drunkard behind me went ballistic that the Jazz didn't draft Cole Aldrich (LOL). Hayward has been awesome this year but last night he was more this face ...

than this face ...

Never fear Gordon. I will continue to wear your jersey with pride.

Diagonal Ally – Coming into the 4th quarter the Jazz had hit on 20 shots and missed on 46 others. Diagonal seems a fair description of the team's overall accuracy.

The Flight of The Fat Lady– He was the first big off the bench and in 18 minutes of play Boris "Pass the Donuts" Diaw mustered 3 shot attempts. Those are my type of numbers. And I'm not good at basketball.

The Midnight Duel – In the wee hours of the night Exum came in and did Exum things. Virtually all of his stats came in the second half when most had climbed into bed in sadness but stats they nevertheless were. 10 points, 50% shooting, 3 assists, and a team-leading +15 for what it's worth.

The Only One He Feared – CP3 was out last night, but the Jazz haven’t had many problems historically with Banana Boat. Blake Griffin on the other hand is a stretch 4 with passing skills bred to disrupt the Jazz’s big-centric defense. Griffin has posted 22/10/4/1 on percentages of 56/50/70 in two games against the Jazz this year. This concerns me greatly as a 1st round Clipper showdown looms large.