Saturday, August 16, 2014

If you haven't heard of the "Ice Bucket Challenge", or #IceBucketChallenge (or IBC if you're really cool), you have either moved to another planet- or been buried under a very large rock.

It's this year's Harlem Shake. It's this year's Planking. Tebowing. Griffining. Whatever- it's a trend. The difference between all those trends and this one, is it will likely become a yearly thing.

Now before you get your pants in a bunch and go all "man, what a grouch/this guy hates anything fun", let me state that this is for a great cause and that cannot be understated or ignored. However silly I think the actual Ice Bucket Challenge is, it has definitely raised awareness for ALS. According to MyFoxBoston.com, this newest social media trend has helped raise in the neighborhood of 1.3 million dollars in two weeks compared to 22,000 dollars this time last year.

The person proceeds to either challenge four more, or do the ice bath and then challenge four more people. "YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO DO IT." What, is this a hostage situation? How do you keep track of that? Do you have a timer? Do you hack into their bank account and monitor their financial activity for 24 hours? Do you hide in the bushes and steal their mail from the mailman, then look at their bank statements weeks from now?

And if they don't accept the challenge/donate and you had plans to hang out that following evening, what happens? Do you ignore them? Do you judge them? Are you allowed to keep a non-ice challenged person as a friend on Facebook and in real life? Can you follow them on Twitter still? Or do you kidnap their firstborn years from now and tell them it was "because of the Ice Bucket Challenge of 2014"?

Three digressions:

1. I would love to watch a freeway chase with the cops on the nightly news with the caption "Didn't donate to ALS.org and spurned Ice Bucket Challenge from multiple friends" at the bottom of the screen.

2. I have also noticed not all ice buckets are the same size, or at times it is something even larger (such as a tractor or vehicle of some sort). Does this make that ice bucket challengee better than others? Is that fair to those who are using personal-sized Fridgemates?

3. If your circle of friends all challenges each other and you are not challenged....the writing is on the wall.

Then most of the time, if not all, the person admits they are donating as well as dousing themselves in frozen H20. So to be clear, the challenge is "ICE YOURSELF OR DONATE $100." The actual challenge is to essentially avoid donating the money, or at least sounds that way. But the one being doused can somehow do the challenge and donate. Hypocrisy, much?

Now this next part can be rather nitpicky (if the previous paragraphs weren't already). When I see a Gatorade bath on a football field, the best part is that you know they don't expect it. The coach is either overjoyed in the moment or can end up being irate. Either way- they didn't expect it. Knowing you are going to be freezing your ass off? Um, that's on you- literally.

Each video ends the same way. The person is all "OMIGOD IM SO COLD. I ALMOST CANT BELIEVE I DID THIS. O WAIT, I SET THIS WHOLE THING UP MYSELF. STOP FILMING. STOP NOW. MOM STOP, SERIOUSLY. I'M SO EMBARRASSED. WHY DID I WEAR ALL WHITE ON PURPOSE BY ACCIDENT? MY NEW LA GEARS ARE TOTALLY EFFED BEYOND REPAIR. I CANT FEEL MY TOES." If people are going to do this thing anyway, why not dare to be different?

To be fair, yes I did donate. No really, I did. Would I have without this whole #IceBucketChallenge thing? Probably not. But once again, the bi-products of this are very fruitful. The execution itself defies logic. Does that make me a better person that I donated without posting a video freezing my ass off in ice water? Hell no. Does it make me drier and more comfortable while I sit here at my laptop? You're damn right it does.(photo credit: zpolitics.com)

Yes, I did indeed say that a few days ago. And I always man up when I am wrong. Boy, was I wrong. As much as I wanted Let's Be Cops to be the best comedy of 2014, it simply could not live up to my lofty expectations. But maybe it was a lack of actual expectations for director Luke Greenwald and crew that led to such a dismal movie.

Looks funny, right? Unfortunately it suffers from Preview Syndrome. A great two minutes, but a very lackluster one-hundred and nine minutes.

Johnson and Wayans play two guys who live in LA and have seen better times. Johnson's Ryan O'Malley is a former Purdue quarterback who is jobless and makes himself feel better by playing middle-school aged kids in pick-up football. Wayans' Justin Miller is a video game designer who strikes out on his bid for a "Patrolman: LA" game. His boss is an arrogant prick played by Jonathan Lajoie (Taco from The League). While hilarious on the hit FX show- his brief moments don't showcase anything special. Adam Scott would have been ideal for this role in my opinion.

Neither Johnson or Wayans feels satisfied with their current status, and it is only made painfully evident by a college reunion that sees everyone inquire on their lives. (Spoiler alert: they dress up as cops to a masquerade party. LOL OMG amiright?)

Yet afterwards they walk the streets and notice the power of the badge and uniform. Females notice them. Citizens obey them. The scene that follows may be the most uniquely funny one of the entire film.

It's something that could have even worked for a Saturday Night Live sketch, or a sitcom for thirty minutes...just not a full-length movie. Especially one that goes nineteen minutes past the hour and a half formula for most comedies. If it goes that long, it better be damn good.

So what else contributes to the underachieving Let's Be Cops? The casting, for one. While Jake Johnson has natural charisma and the ability to steal scenes, he's no leading man. He is better served as a secondary character. Making Damon Wayans, Jr. the straight man/sidekick does Johnson no favors, either. That might be the biggest flub of the whole thing, too.

You would think Wayans, Jr. would have a good amount of comedic talent based off his bloodline. Maybe he does- but it didn't show here. His abilities were quite limited. Anytime he was the main part of a scene that didn't include Johnson, it seemed to drag on. One scene in particular stands out. Wayans dresses up to infiltrate the evil crime lord Mossi's (played by James D'Arcy) party and has consumed a certain mind-altering drug. A talented funnyman would make that scene something special. Wayans tried to- and failed.

Even his serious tone to Johnson's funny one is grating and almost seems mailed in at times. The only instances where he is remotely funny is when Johnson does something so outlandish that Wayans issues a random "WTF?!" in a high-pitched voice.

Saving graces in the movie include Rob Riggle who plays an actual officer and a serious character for the first time ever, maybe? He plays his role well, but to cast him in that role almost robs the viewer of Riggle's supreme laugh-making abilities. Key and Peele's Keegan-Michael Key is a riot as Pupa, a lowly criminal who ends up befriending the duo of Johnson and Wayans. It made me wonder why he wasn't put in Wayans' role instead, which would have greatly improved the movie. Andy Garcia has an interesting role intertwined with Mossi, yet even this comedy feels like a reach for the Ocean's Eleven alum.

Oh, and Nine Dobrev plays Josie- an incredibly unique and layered female -sorry, let me tone down my sarcasm- who is a super attractive waitress in LA with a terrible taste in men. She becomes interested in Wayans' Miller.

While the initial reaction to the plot is "well that would be kind of funny/interesting", Greenwald and fellow writer Nicholas Thomas lack anything substantially entertaining to make this a memorable movie. Suspension of disbelief must be readily available, as will low expectations for this forgettable film.5 out of 10Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know @SeanNeutron