City to implement Dying Wage

In an effort to make sure deceased city employees are still earning a decent paycheck, the city of Knoxville will be implementing a Dying Wage. Similar to a Living Wage, which guarantees that janitors and sewer rat trappers make enough money to put Nikes on their children, the Dying Wage will make sure dead janitors and sewer rat trappers will still earn enough money, whether they need to buy Nikes or not, to keep up with inflation. The new wage plan goes into effect in January, and is retroactive to 1983. Debate is still ongoing as to where the checks are to be mailed and how to report earnings to the IRS on a discontinued Social Security Number.