Monthly Archives: September 2018

Redruth’s legendary nightclub The Zone will be moving next month to the top of Carn Brea.

Construction work for the 5000 capacity super-club has already begun between the castle and monument. The 5 million pound investment will feature 3 floors of – music, lap dancers and even a swimming pool.

Our source, who leaked the information said, “The Zone isn’t just a nightclub, it’s an institution. They’ve been planning the move for some time and this will be the biggest club in the South-West, bringing thousands of people to Redruth every weekend. They decided to put the club on top of Carn Brea because there will be less noise pollution and people will be able to see the club for miles around. It will be amazing, especially with its outdoor stage, with a massive sound system and live bands for the smoking area. Planning permission wasn’t an issue as there is already a restaurant on the hill”

It is also believed that a hotel is being planned at the bottom of the hill to accommodate the massive influx of weekly visitors. Our source added, “Because the club will hold so many people, there is going to be a hotel built where they had previously planned a BMX track. It will have a ski lift from the club to the hotel. The club owner is expecting people to visit the club and participate in the “Zone triple” Where people get drunk at the club Thursday, Friday and Saturday. All drinks will be £1 or less, so people can enjoy themselves without worrying about spending a fortune.”

The grand opening will be held before Christmas with a massive line-up including the world famous DJ – David Guetta.

A pasty shop was forced to evacuate its customers today after a man farted and cleared the place.

The incident happened around noon, at Hall’s Pasty Shop in Hayle. Jane Bunt entered the shop, just as the event unfolded, she said “I popped into Halls for a medium steak, there was a large queue and the shop was very hot and stuffy. Suddenly, the lady in front of me made a strange noise, like she’d been hurt. Then it came – the smell! It smelt like boiled cabbage, damp laundry and cats pee, I’ve never smelt anything like it. A big man looking really embarrassed apologised and rushed out the door onto the street. The lady behind the counter looked pale, she shouted “Everyone get out, we need to close the shop.” It was the strangest and dirtiest thing I’ve ever experienced!”

The shop was closed for twenty minutes, with the windows and doors open to clear the smell. It’s unsure who the farter was, but Hall’s Pasty Shop thinks they’ll never see him again!