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Modern Mishpocha: On where our daughter will go to school

By Stephanie Shefrin: January 31, 2018

Stephanie Shefrin

There are many things people tell you before you have a child that you listen to, but don’t quite understand.

They grow up so quickly, people say, and you nod without really knowing what they mean.

Then comes the day where you’re facing down the decision of where to enrol your kid in school and realize you arrived here much faster that you realized.

It’s not as though we haven’t been thinking about the question for awhile. It’s just that now we have to answer it.

I know there are many who wish our choice was simple and already made – enrolment at the Ottawa Jewish Community School (OJCS).

It isn’t. And here’s a bit of the why.

What are we, two full-time working parents with odd schedules, supposed to do with the early Friday closures at OJCS? What about all the closures for the Jewish holidays we may or may not mark?

For the record – I’m not arguing the school should or shouldn’t follow those schedules. I’m just saying a question we need to answer is how we make it work with ours. And to those who say you can make it work, I know we can. The question then becomes – do we want to?

On the flip side, after-care at OJCS is offered through the Soloway Jewish Community Centre, giving our child access to sports and arts programs we’d never be able to sign her up for during the week if she went to the local public school because neither of us reliably finish our work days early enough to pick her up and take her.

And that leads us around to a question then of whether we could make supplementary school work, given the scheduling constraints of after-school type programs. If not those, what of Sundays? Can we reliably commit to those mornings for the next, say, 10 years? And to those who say you can make it work, I know we can. The question is still – do we want to?

Then, what of the education?

Yes, there’s the question of French at OJCS, but I’ve got others. For example – what and how are Jewish schools teaching these days about women in Judaism? I can say I learned very little of the matriarchs during my days, and seem to recall a lot more about things I couldn’t do as a girl. I’m hopeful that’s changed. We’ll see in the coming weeks as we learn more about the curriculum there and elsewhere.

Then there are the broader, shall we say more existential, questions.

When I reflect on my own childhood in Ottawa, I realize most of the Jewish kids I knew and hung around with went to Hillel Academy (now OJCS).

In the years after that, my circle of Jewish friends and acquaintances expanded to include people I met at my public high school, or knew generally through synagogue or one of the Jewish youth groups I was sporadically involved with during my high school years.

When later I’d go on to meet other Jews of my vintage from Ottawa and realize I’d never met them before, it always struck me as odd. I mean, Ottawa’s not that big, there aren’t that many Jews. How could I not know someone my age?

The answer often boiled down to where, if anywhere, they went to Jewish school.

So upon reflection, the observations I shared in this space last year ago about divisions in our community that appear explicitly linked to where kids are going to school – those fault lines aren’t new (“When community isn’t what it seems,” March 6, 2017).

But what seems new to me – perhaps because now I experience it as an adult and a parent myself – is the extent to which one’s community becomes entirely made up of those with whom your child attends school.

So as we move forward in making the decision of where our daughter will receive a formal Jewish education, it’s about logistics and lesson plans but also very much in our minds is that it’s a choice about community.

1 Comment

I write this response as a mother of three and an alumnus of a Jewish Day School in Montreal. I write it also as a parent of children who attended two day schools in Toronto. Most importantly, I am the mother of a current student at OJCS.
Comparing a day school education to a public school education is neither simple nor entirely fair.
For me, Jewish day school is different from public school in two important ways. It is private and it is Jewish.
At all Jewish Day schools, children experience a high quality and rigorous curriculum which is designed to prepare them for any future high school they chose. They are taught a curriculum, amongst their peers, whose parents have also chosen this high level rigorous education for their children. Without getting into specifics, a Jewish day school graduate is prepared for high school and beyond. There are countless ways this happens each day: small class sizes, enrichment, individual supplementation, field trips, chess club, etc.
Jewish day school is also Jewish school. Each school may have a different slant, but, generally speaking your child will learn about Jewish religion, Hebrew and Israel. They will be immersed in surroundings that are Jewish with Hebrew letters on the wall, prayer in the morning time and an overall Jewish approach. As a smart person recently said, there would be no OJCS if not for the J.
For me, these two parts combined, made my decision to send my son to OJCS an easy one.
Seeing the smart, confident and happy boy he is since he began in September has made my decision to re-enroll him there an easy one.
You can receive a high level education and a Jewish education by adding Jewish afternoon school to a secular education, but for me, the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts.
I encourage all who attended a Day School themselves to look back at their education and to visit OJCS and then to make their own very educated decision for themselves.
If teaching your child about Judaism is of interest to you, and if the high cost is at all manageable for your family’s finances, then I highly recommend sending them to OJCS.
As for the early closures on Friday, this, for me, is a small hurdle to jump for all the benefits I receive in return.
I agree whole heartedly that “one’s community becomes made up of those with whom your child attends school.” I would only add synagogue to this, since synagogue attendance also gives your family another community to be a part of. I feel blessed to have been welcomed into the OJCS community and I look forward to (hopefully!) welcoming you and many others next year!
Dr. Mira Liebman