I am faced with a conundrum. Till lately (ie about a week ago), I believed in generosity. I would leave extra tip to waiters, give large tips to delivery men, rickshaw wallah etc. If anyone asked me for money, I would give it up to a limit. Anything up to 5000 Rs I would give without asking. Above that, my reluctance would sharply increase. I was content with the knowledge that as I am making enough, I am passing it around.

Recently, on TV I saw a crime serial. In that. the crooks feel that this guy who is generous is very rich, and they decide to loot him. In that process a member of his family dies. That spooked me a lot.

I am scared that someone will think I am very wealthy and plan a loot. I don't know what to do. Up to now I would be careful not to be generous in front of women, fearing that they will play mischief thinking I am a bakra. All laws are in their favor. Now it is the men too I have to fear.

What should I do? I am thinking that I stop at once all this charity, and give by cheque to some well known organizations.

Charity is a hidden thing,…….or,… you make showmanship and burn all the Credit balance to ashes, by yourself !

“ Prem-darshan ka visay, Pra-Drashan ka visay bilkul nahin hai ! ]

[ Like in the olden times, they build a vaavdi ( water-well with steps ) and encoded marble’s giant plates next to it, who donated it, how much and their 3 generations’ names ! ]
All well-done is in vain. It did not credit anything.

They say, if your Right hand donates, it should not be known to even yr left hand !

I saw philanthropic activity on few desi forums around,… I did not donate a penny, ever. ‘Coz the poverty fed was not real poverty,.. you need to go little deeper, do search and research and find really starving of hunger people,.. who skips their dinner, having no other options, when Pappu, big B and Halka like have accumulated all ‘s wealth in a single account, and have made them to go to sleep hungry,…. Now its our duty to balance and compensate for that,..

But it’s not easy,… You need to do little hard work, to find the real and needy poor,…. ! 99% of times the Bhikhaaris even remain business men and having Crores, a more richer than you. Sadhu-bawas, poojaris, Swaminarayan-bhakts, mandeer ghee-diva is all is plain wasted money, I’d never spend a dime there,…
Al swaminarayan donations are waste, as they enjoy feast dinner for all non-needy people, mostly and 85%+ goes to total wastage, same in temples for Raaj-bhog and God’s haar-maala, darshan-shingaar of God,….. etc…

I should not say this,.. but also, have no hesitation as no on knows me or have seen me in person,… ! My mother was highly religious and philanthropic natured person, and we were quite ordinary middle class family person. But whenever we wished to do smthg good, we worked hard,…my mother and we both brothers…. Made tons of poori-shaak by using our lots of time and labor,…( we were used to do such more often ) and then packing in padiyas,… ( tree-leaves bowls ) ( at that time ) and would go to behind the Railway station in our city in cottage yard areas,… ( it was like mini-dharvi ) where we knew loads of kids were going to sleep without any dinner for many moons and nights,… we had to researched and found all such locality near by areas,…… and handing over the food personally, ( old clothes and home-made year old pickles ) hot, nicely cooked, fresh and also some pickles,. Etc… No Money. Just food for hunger and to real people. I know it takes loads of time and research, real needy people,….Or you will find many Philanthropic activity people,… sharing and spending your hard-earned money to crook and not-needy ordinary middle-class persons,…

Best bet be,… if on Dussera you go to buy jalebi, fafda and sweets and if you see real beggar kids on stalls looking into the food’s glass window ,.. order a pack for them ,and before more ppl accumulate,… make a way,… like you do not know any, and no one knows you,.. !

IMHO, these kindaa guys do the real job,......
compared to, if Ambani or Bil gates Donates 1 Million bucks of check ( which is 0.00000001% of their total ) , i don't consider that as Philan. work and it's gonna to go wasted and to un-useful, undeserved people, anyway,..

I used to give generously when I visited India.. thinking a couple dollars tip in US translates better as 100 rupees tip in India. I gave 100 bucks to a railways attendant who helped me with my bags.. a desi uncle who was speaking to me earlier said you folks settled abroad are spoiling these guys.. they expect huge tips because you want to throw away some money.

After a few similar incidents, I decided to donate to a relative who runs a private school. Sponsored full fees of a few kids from interest I earn from my FDs.

To charity or not charity is an individual decision. No one forces you for it. But I am surprised a padha likha admi like Shring pai should base his decision on some TV serial plot. He could as well read Jagguji’s post and change his decision.

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This is quite a game, politics. There are no permanent enemies, and no permanent friends,only permanent interests. - Some Firang

I have always maintained that exchanging money on the street in the form of begging should be banned by the g'ment. This is one of the main causes of crime and corruption. It destroys the mindset of society... nay, the nation itself. If somebody thinks they have a lot of money and would like to relieve the burden of the less-fortunate, they should donate through well-established and reputed organizations, who the g'ment then ensures is completely legal and audited.

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"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless

To do a good job,. It always needs effort, your own blood-drained efforts,…to “ daav pe lagaaving your hard-earned money at the right place” just like a stock market and yr pvt. business etc,….. Or,.. you can simply, lazily,…end up,… tearing of a check to a temple, a church, and pujari, mahant, mulla,..sadhu, paaji-kadari, father,.. and sawminarayan bhakts, etc,…all bug-bhagat and thug-bhagat toil will dine on you,…. will waste those in ghee-divas, scent-sticks burning, unnecessary lighting decorations, and milk-pouring which goes to a gutter anyway,….. will do jalsa with ghee se tar-b-tar,… poori, ganthiyas, maal-puvaa, ras-gullas, srikhaund, doodh-paak, basundi, Gulab-jamun n’ sweets and such,… for own prasadam sort of Jalsa,…! Btw,… I saw philanthropic activity on couple of desi arena on net around,… but none of them suited my needs,…. ! I fact, I was amazed with such waste of money,…. IMHO, they all were not deserved at all,.. since there were more poors on the street and somewhere cottages, somewhere foot-path sleepers,who had seriously quit their dinners for many nights,……. Especially due to our rotten society system,… Sallu-Lalu and Big B and Small B ( baaystard ), mamta, maya, Chiddu, Diggy and all ate way their belly-ful of billions of country-men, single-handedly,…. ( some one must offset/compensate and return for them,.. perhaps all Mango-man lie you and me, ought to take that lead, per our caliber, ability, capacity and capability ! ) who sincerely had no food and they were killing themselves with die-hard hungry stomach,… and perhaps those Philanthropist never cared to do enuff research before investing their hard earned money,.. !Uh !

I salute to guys like above photo, and few such ram-naam ki roti waale, absolutely free lungar activity at certain places,…. ! Rest if SRK, akki, aamir, ambani, sallu says,. I teared a check of 10 lakhs,.. I would say F U ,….. you are earning 5-7 crore for an hour show and if you donated 0.000000000001% of your total asset, you fooled more and would earn rather other millions in offset of this peanut-donation,.. so ultimately,… Praja-tantra itself will be at a loss,…. In this foolish business !

I’ad said,.. Don’t Give up,… Give,.. but do enuff research that yr hard earned money goes at right place to aright person,… and don’t worry whether no1 knows yr name that how far you helped,…… you have a self-satisfaction of maintaining a chain of faith in humanity and that’s the greatest reward n’ award ! No one know what is after-death and what we think and imagines any such things really true or not,… but sure it will give you a self-peaceful death,… in utter peace.

But I am surprised a padha likha admi like Shring pai should base his decision on some TV serial plot. He could as well read Jagguji’s post and change his decision.

I think he's talking about Crime Patrol where they dramatize real crime and how the police solved it.. I think I've seen a few such episodes.

I used to work with this gult consultancy owner.. he gave out gifts of few lakhs to help 3-4 poor relatives in India .. these families were working hard but unable to save enough for their kids' higher education. His gifts became a huge problem for the family. His father complained that every day he's hounded by 10-15 people from his village to ask his rich son from US to help them as well. Someone was even asking for a motorbike.

Charity is a tough job, who to give.. who not to give.. should you donate anonymously? Charity fraud is so common..

I am faced with a conundrum. Till lately (ie about a week ago), I believed in generosity. I would leave extra tip to waiters, give large tips to delivery men, rickshaw wallah etc. If anyone asked me for money, I would give it up to a limit. Anything up to 5000 Rs I would give without asking. Above that, my reluctance would sharply increase. I was content with the knowledge that as I am making enough, I am passing it around.

Recently, on TV I saw a crime serial. In that. the crooks feel that this guy who is generous is very rich, and they decide to loot him. In that process a member of his family dies. That spooked me a lot.

I am scared that someone will think I am very wealthy and plan a loot. I don't know what to do. Up to now I would be careful not to be generous in front of women, fearing that they will play mischief thinking I am a bakra. All laws are in their favor. Now it is the men too I have to fear.

What should I do? I am thinking that I stop at once all this charity, and give by cheque to some well known organizations.

Any feedback, thoughts?

Dont worry.. keep tipping and keep doing small charity... Dont be scared just because of Crime Patrol type shows.. In Mumbai there are so many rich folks but you cannot make it out... unless offcourse you start flashing your wealth.

It is foolishness to keep giving alms to the poor. It just makes you feel good... but it destroys society, increasing crime. It especially destroys the lives of innocent kids. It should be made a crime to give alms to the poor. That is the only way for society to progress into a happy place for all... and not just for you.

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"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless

And,.. why they are poor ? Are they really kaam-chr, lazy, aalasi, now willing to do hard work, not ready to do hard work in study, advance or work/job and eat, drink and dress well just like other people and feel good n’ happy ?

No. that’s da freaking our human made society system, some loop-holes, short-cuts, cutting corners, did remain in it,. And the same two handed and two legged,… also, having the same 24 hours of work-span
got million times more “ moolah-caying” than rest of the BPL chunk.
System should introspect about what went wrong, how it could be,….
when the God had given the land for all, with equal rights to eat drink and be happy !

And if not,.. my green light will be for all,…. Robinhoods, god-fathers, few Veerappans,......
So far they all try to equate the system honestly,.. and yess I no care,….. for that, if elites are even killed ! Politicians are even bombarded like our fake Gandhis or Bhuttos,.., just like it shows in the movie s” Inqulaab” !

Hinduism says giving help (alms, donation, etc..) to the undeserving is a sin!
Beggars rarely mean it when they BLESS you for your charity---they usually think you are a sucker who deserved to be milked.
Beggars with children are some of the worst symbols of rank irresponsibility.
Tips (not service charge) is NOT charity-----you give those because YOU think HIS service was so good that he deserved that extra tip.

Shring, my advise is, help the people in real need. No one needs to know whom you are helping. I randomly come across people who need help, especially go-fund me pages where I had been following sick kids for a while. There is always some kind of drive that happens in the school. I focus on these things. There are only 2 regular monthly donations that I do and really, its only like $70 a month between the both of them. thats about it. everything else is random and no one needs to know for people to take advantage of you.

70 dollahs a month... you are rich, girl Question is, by helping people in real need, aren't you making them week and incapacitating them For example, the moth stuck inside its cocoon is also in real need... but helping it will devastate its future life.

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"Hinduism brought a multitude of religions under one roof and survived for eons. Christianity and other religions will need to do the same or perish." - saneless