The GPS is programmed so there is every likelihood that I will find Rochford Station. Though, given my navigational abilities this is not a guarantee. I have selected the muddy option to avoid the Ashingdon Road. I trust I will not encounter anything unseemly as I pass by Little Doggetts and Doggetts Farm.

I'm gunna have to bail I'm afraid. Which is a shame as this is shaping up to be a goodun.

My dad is going into hospital shortly and my mother has made it pretty clear I should spend some time with him before he goes in. And she's probably right. So I'll skip this one and hopefully be around for the next one. Good luck all!!

there are two barriers to negotiate. The first, not far from a duck pond, I find is normally open in the hours of daylight, more likely to be closed after dark.

Both barriers are now automatic and always closed. Fear not though as the first one you encounter has room either side to ride around. The last time I went through, about 3 weeks ago, it was less muddy on the near side, heading south. Even if they have built fences either side you'll be able to walk the bike under the bar, with only a little leaning and ducking.

there are two barriers to negotiate. The first, not far from a duck pond, I find is normally open in the hours of daylight, more likely to be closed after dark.

Both barriers are now automatic and always closed. Fear not though as the first one you encounter has room either side to ride around. The last time I went through, about 3 weeks ago, it was less muddy on the near side, heading south. Even if they have built fences either side you'll be able to walk the bike under the bar, with only a little leaning and ducking.

Well, I'm back! A damned good ride for 7 intrepid forummers, although I suspect that OD may well have counted 14 by the end. Del did sterling work shepherding him home.

Six pubs were visited, all serving real ales, and we cycled past another three or four which were not patronised. Charlotte, Reg and Tokamak arrived back in Rochford with a few minutes to spare for the 23.12 train.

A splendid night which saw me joining OD in a few verses of Laurel and Hardys Lonesome Pine, I was Laurel, after the fifth pub. I left OD with only a few hundred metres to travel and did an extended trip home.You can all look forward to some pictures of Charlotte gurning later and a few others of everybody else who were brave enough to EPNR with Wow tonight. It was a tight schedule and, I think, all the more enjoyable. An extra round of applause to Charlotte who was brave enough to join us and it was especially nice to have some top totty around, even though we were batting for the same side. Except for Greg who is a top chap and all round good egg. The pickled eggs were supplied by OD who, as I write, is probably demanding intercourse from his MiL. Thanks to all.

Very, very good. I can't wait to see the photos. Short distances and multiple pubs are the name of this game - and we played it well... Several pints in and a blast back to Rochford for the last train - we made it with a couple of minutes to spare. When's the next one?

My ride down from Witham was not without incident. Watery Lane lived up to it's name by being flooded with rain water and sewage. I ignored the "Road Closed" sign and got round the flooded section by tramping through some fields - very muddy. When I got to Dogger's Lane (as recommended by Del and Wow) I had a clipless moment as I went round the final barrier and fell into a hedge.

I didn't realise we were visiting 6 pubs so got progressively more pi55ed as the night wore on (in case you didn't notice), I have always had a rubbish head for booze. I couldn't quite finish the 6th pint but I am quite proud that I got through 5 and a bit pints and still managed to cycle back to the Outlaws - thanks for the shepherding act Del. I will make a binge drinker out of myself yet. I did just over 38 miles all told.

Well - that was a good night. A little chilly but that just provided the excuse for a drink to warm you up at each stop. 6 pubs = 2½ pints and a coffee for me.

The dash back to the train was amusing (if somewhat knackering as I haven't been on the bike much for the last couple of months) and even the ride back across London from Liverpool St wasn't too bad - it wasn't quite late enough for the full force of binge drinkers to roaming the streets... although I did get a 'nice arse' from a blind (I presume) young lady in Covent Garden.

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

Thanks to Wow and Fatters for such a splendidly planned crawl. And to Del for his shepherding...

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

My head was surprisingly fine yesterday morning. Perhaps I have inadvertently stumbled over an excellent hangover cure: cycling, paracetamol plus rousing verses of "In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"

For the record, the Mother in Law remained unmolested, as did everyone else. I slept like a large piece of wood on Friday night. Some uncharitable souls suggested I passed out but they're just uncharitable

What did I promise Reg? I am genuinely quaking in my kinky Endura neoprene over booties

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

My head was surprisingly fine yesterday morning. Perhaps I have inadvertently stumbled over an excellent hangover cure: cycling, paracetamol plus rousing verses of "In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"

For the record, the Mother in Law remained unmolested, as did everyone else. I slept like a large piece of wood on Friday night. Some uncharitable souls suggested I passed out but they're just uncharitable What did I promise Reg? I am genuinely quaking in my kinky Endura neoprene over booties

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

My head was surprisingly fine yesterday morning. Perhaps I have inadvertently stumbled over an excellent hangover cure: cycling, paracetamol plus rousing verses of "In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"

For the record, the Mother in Law remained unmolested, as did everyone else. I slept like a large piece of wood on Friday night. Some uncharitable souls suggested I passed out but they're just uncharitable What did I promise Reg? I am genuinely quaking in my kinky Endura neoprene over booties

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

My head was surprisingly fine yesterday morning. Perhaps I have inadvertently stumbled over an excellent hangover cure: cycling, paracetamol plus rousing verses of "In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"

For the record, the Mother in Law remained unmolested, as did everyone else. I slept like a large piece of wood on Friday night. Some uncharitable souls suggested I passed out but they're just uncharitable What did I promise Reg? I am genuinely quaking in my kinky Endura neoprene over booties

How's the head OD? And don't forget what you promised - there were witnesses (and some photos, I think)!

My head was surprisingly fine yesterday morning. Perhaps I have inadvertently stumbled over an excellent hangover cure: cycling, paracetamol plus rousing verses of "In the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia"

For the record, the Mother in Law remained unmolested, as did everyone else. I slept like a large piece of wood on Friday night. Some uncharitable souls suggested I passed out but they're just uncharitable What did I promise Reg? I am genuinely quaking in my kinky Endura neoprene over booties

You don't remember..? It was during the discussion of Boy Butter.

It gets worse. What conversation about Boy Butter?

You don't remember the Boy Butter conversation?!??!

Errr no.

Please tell me what I promised then I can decide whether I should whiz round to the cop shop and ask to be taken into protective custody for a few years.