To understand big bastard apply the following criteria:
1) Breasts must be huge. Think DD as a starting point. There are specific exemptions for small framed women (see below).
2) Breasts must contrast sharply with rest of build. They must be huge relative to the size of the woman. For example, DDs on a 220 lb woman do not make big bastards. A class exemplar would be a 5'-6" 120 lb woman with double Ds.
3) Breasts must be visible from the back. As the big bastards walk away they must be clearly visible at the sides of the rib cage.
4) Breasts may be enhanced. Authentic big bastards are a miracle of modern plastic surgery. Occasionally natural big bastards will be sighted. Natural big bastards are referred to as "big bastard natties."
5) Big bastards are rare. We have estimated that the likelihood of seeing authentic, verified by at least two class experts, big bastards in Southern Orange County California is something between the odds of being dealt a straight flush and a royal flush in poker.