Tuesday, April 05, 2005

African wives don't say no

As a Nigerian psychiatrist and public-health physician who has worked with Nigerian women, I know that African men will not use condoms, not with prostitutes or girlfriends and definitely not with their wives - who, they believe, are their property.

An average African woman cannot say no to her husband: the consequences are a thorough beating or divorce, and most African women cannot afford divorce. Unlike their Western sisters, they would not be given child support. And with no social welfare services to assist them in caring for their children, they would become destitute. At the same time, their culture would blame them for not holding on to their husbands.

There is probably an army of Western do-gooders trying to convince the African women to say no to their husbands and walk out of their marriages, and to change the culture so that women will be held blameless.

Like many Japanese women, Junko waited until her early 30s to get married. When she and her fiance, an employee of a well-known firm, decided to tie the knot, she set her sights on making a home, putting away some money and starting a family.

Fifteen years later, Junko and her husband are childless. It is not that they cannot have children; it is just that they have never had sex.

The sexless marriage is one of several reasons why experts fear Japan is on the verge of a demographic disaster. ...

The 200 women a year who seek help at a clinic in the Tokyo suburbs have not had sex with their husbands in up to 20 years, and some never, according to Kim Myong-gan, who runs the clinic. ...

A survey of 600 women found that 26% had not had sex with their husbands in the past year. ...

"The men love their companies; they live for work," Mr Kim said. "Men don't even think it is a problem if they don't have sex with their wives. They have pornography and the sex industry to take care of their needs, but their wives have nowhere to go. They just suffer in silence."

My mom says, "the American woman is the most fortunate creature to ever walk the face of the earth."