10/20/2010

The Benefits of Friends with Benefits

Friends with benefits or as many us know it better as "F&*K BUDDIES" is quite common today and very handy actually. Urban dictionary states it as : Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogomous relationship or any kind of commitment. Before I start to write about the many benefits of having such an enjoyable relationship, I want to clarify that I only advise having a F&*K buddy when you are SINGLE and not in ANY sort of RELATIONSHIP with ANYONE ( this is due to all the complications it will bring into your life than any actual benefits). We all know know that the myth that women are not as sexually aroused as men is completely WRONG! Women want sex as much as guys do; and waiting around for the perfect person to come along and have a relationship, so you can have sex is quite a difficult thing for your mojo! As humans we need sex, it a natural instinct since we are children. The lack of sex will make you frustrated and you might by mistake pounce on the first person that comes at you just to relieve your inner urges for sexual gratification. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO GO!

We all know that sleeping with someone that you do not know can lead to STD's, AIDS, awkward morning after, a potential stalker and worst of all BAD SEX! As a strategic therapist in training I am trying to solve problems in a way that will makes sense to you in the world we live in. So my solution to giving your inner urges that satisfaction of an orgasm and being safe at the same time is by finding a "F&*K BUDDY"( from now on I will abbreviate it to be FB : D). So as stated above a FB should be someone that is a friend of yours and not some random stranger. You may ask why is that so important and the answer is quite simple! All the hard work of getting to know someone is already done, you know how that person is, if the person sleeps around a lot, if they are open to new ideas, what they like, how they like it, etc. Most relationships start with you having to get to know the person and that can be emotionally and time consuming, both of which a FB should not be. A FB should be a person you will have fun with, drama free, emotional attachment free and have a pretty good flow of conversation. So getting a close friend as a FB is beneficial because all the hard work is already done and the next thing to do is just have some casual sex to satisfy the urges.

Other than maybe contracting an STD; the worst part of sleeping around with any person that may attract you is that usually the first time two people have sex it is not very good. The reason that it can not be very good is for many reasons. Usually when you have sex with a new person for the first time there is no Trust, Confidence, Little Knowledge of what the Other Person likes in Bed, Sexual Inhibitions and majority of the time people having sex for the first time are Intoxicated ( which makes good sex harder to achieve). Imagine having lousy sex time after time and then having to wake up the next day, not knowing what to do, what to say and how to leave fast. If you are really attracted to the other person you will probably go on another date, have sex again and maybe this time it will get better. To get to the point of having great sex with someone it will involve emotional investment and if the relationship doesn't work out then you will feel bad and rejected. Many people go through this cycle over and over again and then feel horrible time after time and most of the time we go through this due to the need for some sex in our lives. This is where having a FB comes in handy.

A FB will be someone that you can count on for the times you are needing some loving and sexual attention. They are close friends that care about you enough to want you to be satisfied during sex, want to learn what you like and are nice enough to be a phone call away for spontaneous sex. You are comfortable enough with them to have sex anywhere at anytime, not caring if they see you with the lights on. With a FB you both tend to be open to teach each other new things and try new things right? What are friends for, if not to teach new things to you. There is no emotional attachment other than having great sex and the probability of hurt feelings minimize greatly. Since your body is not craving sex, when you meet someone new you can see them objectively and figure out if they are worth it before investing serious emotions into them.

Now I am going to give you the "UNWRITTEN RULES" that I have notice the most successful FB should agree to before becoming FB. These are based on personal and my many friends experiences. If you can meet the majority of the Unwritten Rules will now be Written than you are on your way to having an enjoyable relationship while your waiting for THE ONE.

1. It has to be a friend you have known for a while, so that you have a pretty good idea of who they are.

2. You have to be comfortable around them and have fun with them normally. Imagine if you have fun with them without the sex, your going to have a blast having sex with them.

3. You have to have CHEMISTRY and be ATTRACTED to each other. Chemistry is everything and will make the sex 100x better :D!

4. That your both single at the time the FB relationship begins.

5. Both decide to make this just a physical, carnal relationship and NOTHING else.

6. If you both can agree to have just sex with no emotions attached the hardest part is over. If you feel like your getting emotionally attach tell the other person immediately. If both feel the same then go for a relationship, if the other person does not reciprocate the feelings than STOP the FB relationship immediately since you will end up hurt.

7. If there are no emotional attachments other than caring for each other as friends than "CREATE A CODE" this will allow each of you to subtle tell each other in public that you want SEX!

8. VERY IMPORTANT: KEEP IT A SECRET!!! NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW WHO YOUR FB IS!!! Plus the best relationships are the ones that no one knows about, it makes it so much more fun!

9. If you or your FB starts dating someone that they are getting emotional with stop the FB relationship just to prevent issues. This will allow any misunderstandings in the future. Plus this also allows for the future opportunity of your partner or you ending the emotional relationship and coming to you to continue your previous arrangement.

10. Use this time to learn new things and be completely honest with each other. Do not hold back anything. Your single use that precious time to have fun, be spontaneous and learn new things!

There are so many benefits to having a FB that I really don't see the point of not having one if you can accomplish the 10 rules above. If you are single and telling yourself you do not need one, you are denying yourself some serious pleasure and I can bet you are pretty stressed right now. So if your single try this out instead of sleeping around, since sleeping around now a days is like playing Russian roulette; you never know what you might get.

ENJOY THE SINGLE LIFE THE SAFE WAY, FIND A SPECIAL FRIEND AND ENJOY THE PLEASURES OF GRATIFYING SEX