There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other a lot. One day, they both happen to find a lamp at the same time near a lake. In a lamp was a genie who said, "I would grant both of you three wishes."

The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle." And he got his wish.

The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish.

The rabbit said, "I wish for a helmet." And he got his wish.

The bear (thinking how stupid the rabbit is for making simple wishes) said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females!" And he got his wish.

The Rabbit put on his helmet, revved up the motorcycle and he said while speeding off, "I wish that the bear was gay!"

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf.

That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer "Ask him where the ten million bucks he embezzled from me is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and s says "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!" The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."