From a boutique hotel in hip South Austin to a bed-and-breakfast across the Mexican border, from fly fishing on the Llano River to bathing in the Chinati Hot Springs, 33 getaways the guidebooks don’t tell you about, courtesy of our intrepid staff of weekend warriors.

What to do if you're bitten by fire ants, lost in the wilderness, sprayed by a skunk, attacked by a shark, stuck in a lightning storm, swept away by a riptide, or caught in any of eleven other worst-case scenarios.