What do the bad guys in classic games do while they wait for the hero?

Huge Dude, the insanely awesome man-human hybrid you remember from your childhood is finally back! He's ready to take on all comers, destroying or crushing or pulverizing or emulsifying all who stand in his way. Because his way is the way of Freedom! His way is unobstructed! His way is the way of things not being there to be in it!

Today however there is a guardian at the gate. Valiantly he stands and waits, a trusty sidekick and the ability to shoot laserballs out of his nose his only protection. Huge Dude is on the battlements but this vanguard is dilligent. Only one question remains on the plains of his brains:

You ever piss so hard it flushes?

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