After the article about milk, breast and bottle, here is the one about the result. I’ve been waiting for this one because I laugh each time my parents realize there is something wrong in my diaper…

First they negociate : “It’s your turn!”, “Your hand was under him when we heard the explosion noise!”…

Then the operation starts (Take a deep breath). Prepare the clean diaper and put it on the side, ready to replace the other one. Prepare a wet cotton to clean what could remain stuck on me. Open the dirty warm wet diaper. Pull my legs up to clean on me.Put the new white dry diaper on me. Mission accomplished.

A little advice : Put something (a cloth, a cotton…) on the little pipe between my legs otherwise daddy’s shirt will be wet again !! It’s funny though, I like to do this !!

First make sure Mamma pulled enough milk from her full breasts, using the double electric pump similar to those used on a Normandy milk farm (Pictures of mamma in action are censored, too glamourous for publication!)

Then Papa shall choose a comfortable position and start feeding Oscar who will as usual do the head bird dance.

Fill the tank completely (just before tipping point). Then take the little stuff on your shoulder and gently hit his back until he thank you with a coming from deep inside burp.

To make sure you will spend a good night, make sure Mamma did not eat any of the following forbidden foods : Alcohol (the most difficult for her), chocolate, seafood, dairy products (means no Cantal cheese either!), cabbages, spicy food, raw onions…

As Mamma never listens and doesn’t like to be deprived, you may have to wake up in the middle of the night to the frightening sound of a screaming Oscar in pain. In that case, try to fill up the tank again, every ten minutes, until the sun rises, because ironically it’s always at the end of the night that Oscar feels better!

Soap in the bath every two days (this kind of weird baby soap with nothing inside : extra soft, hypo allerg, no tear soap, no soap !).

Temperature 37.5 +/-0.5 °C

Dip the small stuff slowly inside the water, holding him firmly by the shoulder with his head on your fore-arm.

Gently wash the body using hands only including his armpits, his bum his head and his face (Don’t be afraid to get water his eyes and ears)

Take out and drain. Make sure each single fold is dried.

Dry inside and behind the ear with a small piece of cotton (one piece for each ear that is you can admit not very environmentally friendly…). Make a small rocket with a piece of cotton to clean inside the nose. Clean his eyes with a piece of gauze and liquid stuff we need to buy, always swiping gauze from the outside to the inside, towards the nose (Don’t forget to take pictures of baby screaming and daddy sweating throughout the whole process)

Ask for the mother to clean the umbilical cord while you look through the window wiping away your sweat.

Give him Vitamin K (one syringe dose per weak, each Monday, as long as mummy gives breast) and Vitamin D (4 drops per day, during 18 months)