I find older family members do not realise. Probably because they do not sew. However grandchildren love something made especially for them and they have no idea of money or value of lots of items. How do you put a price on a smile from your littlest grandie when she receives a special fairy quilt you made her for Christmas. And is that not what quilting is all about, giving a gift for the sake of giving?

good question!! I am on the 4th quilt in making a high school graduation quilt for 7 kids in the family. The first 3 loved their quilts and they were very personalized and appropriate. I'm hating the one I'm making now as the recipient is less close to me and the direction I've been able to get is less personalized and I'm not feeling the finished product will be a good representation of the child's life/high school/future. So, I'm plugging away hoping I, myself, will appreciate the product and then he may too. But, I'm almost ready to scrap the whole thing. fortunately, I can look forward to the remaining 3 being easier to customize and therefore much more personal. the profile photo is the top of the one I made for my son when he graduated high school and became a &quot;Louisville Cardinal&quot; athlete in college, therefore more representative of his future than hs. But look forward to also making him a t-shirt quilt from all his competitions from high school days for a memory quilt.

I'm in awe of your answers quilters - I know it's wonderful to have a appreciated reception with your quilt gift. But what of those who really don't appreciate it. I had a quilter suggest to me that you get the quilt valued, and include as part of the gift a copy of the valuation. That way the recipient will see the monetary value. Perhaps another idea is to make a book of the making of the quilt. I did that for a commission quilt once and it was received so enthusiastically - and I ended up getting two more commissions from this family.

I have made some very special needlework gifts for friends and family and occassionally I come across the gift, languishing on a shelf, collecting dust and not being used. How do you manage this sort of thing?

Hpiner I found your comment very interesting and I commend you for pushing through your angst over the current quilt that you're making. I really like the idea of including the recipient in the designing of the quilt - and I think that could well be one answer in raising the appreciation level.

I have made various gifts over the last 30 years for different family members. Most are appreciated, even though responses have not always indicated this. A couple of years ago one of my sisters took up quilting and patchwork, and she said one day, that she had never realised the cost or the hours of work that went in to a lot of the gifts that I had made her daughters over the years, including some much loved patchwork and quilted clothing. But the best response has come from my 2 darling grandchildren. The kids cannot part with the quilts that I had made for them, Thomas the Tank engine, and Dora panels, made in to single bed quilts. Grandma made these,we cannot get rid of them,they told their mother. So birthdays next week, and they are getting a Fairy and a Monster Truck quillow each, that they can use on their bed or take to sleep overs etc. I once had a log cabin quilt that I gave as a wedding gift, that after the couple divorced ended up being used as the dogs bed. It was a shame, but that is what happens, it was appreciated for several years, and then when things went wrong, the quilt went also.

Thanks Imm for your contribution to this subject. I guess it's often a matter of perspective. I love your comments about your grandchildren and in general I think that's the same the world over. Especially when you include childrens ideas into their own quilts. Already you are creating a sense of ownership.

It's the quilts that you make for friends or more distant relatives, or maybe even a close relative that just doesn't fully understand and appreciate the priviledge of receiving such a gift.

How do you cope with that situation. You desperately want to make them a lasting gift but are unsure how it's going to be treated after it has been gifted.

I have made many cot quilts and given or posted to various friends and family, some I have had to ring to check that they arrived, I wonder why I have continued, and usually my answer to myself, is because I wanted to give a very personal gift, and someone has appreciated a personalised gift at some stage. You never forget the ones that don't say thank you, and I have often said never again, but continue to make and gift. Just me. The hurt is always there at those times, but I think of the enjoyment I got in trying a new pattern or technique, or using a nice piece of material. I look at it all as a learning experience, and really do appreciate the ones who enjoy the gifts I have made for them.

My heart swelled as I read your comment Imm. You are right to say the hurt is there, I certainly feel that way with some of my gifting experiences. I love that you can look at the positive and enjoy the journey of learning. I know it's hard to push through making a quilt with the dread that it's going to be unappreciated and perhaps just put aside. When ever I gift a quilt (or even a needlecase I've made), I make a fuss about the recipient using it, and not putting it away because it's too beautiful to use. In the main, my needlecases (I make them using hardanger needlework) to get used and that's heartening.

But, like others, I've gifted quilts never to be seen again and you can't help but wonder if it was worth the effort. I guess that's just human nature.

I wonder is it up to us quilters to educate the nonquilters about the effort, time and money that goes into making a quilt?

Judie, I think those same people would not acknowledge or appreciate any gift that was given, it just seems not to be in their nature. I think we all have to educate our families about the nicety of acknowledging a gift by phone or email or letter, so many people don't even do that.