Hey, here's a thing that I hope my neighbors aren't doing! Moved by Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan's proud proclamation that his 10-year-old daughter has her very own pony gun, Twitter's most prolific conservative shriekers are showing their support by posting pictures of their own young female children shooting guns. Because handing a child a deadly weapon is always a good idea.

I'm not going to be one of those city people who is all, EW SHOOTING like Shelley Long-style at the beginning of Troop Beverly Hills because in some rural areas, kids take hunter's safety classes when they're 11 or 12 so that they can join the family hunt without accidentally Dick Cheneying someone in the face. I get that. I understand that in some cases, hunting is something families do together for food. Guns can be tools. Good for families for making sure their kids know how to properly use tools they use to hunt for food. Commendation extended.

If guns are really just tools — even if they're tools that should be mastered in the name of "self defense" — then what's the point of making a big stinking deal about it? You'd never see conservative parents tweet pictures of their kids standing there grinning and struggling to hold up the weight of a Bosch circular saw accompanying a defensive Tweet caption about how they're "PROUD THEIR KIDS R LEARNING 2 FEND FOR THEMSELVES." A non-rural, non-hunting kid's way more likely to actually need to use a circular saw than a gun. What about all the pictures of confident, happy little girls standing next to tools that are, you know, not made for the intention of killing? Where are the excited little girls with microscopes or stacks of classic literature or hammers or sewing machines (shut up; sewing is a useful life skill regardless of your gender) or gardening supplies? Why is conservative self-sufficient GIRL POWER represented by the ability to kill an imaginary future assailant?

Further, no one is trying to take away guns from responsible owners who do things like teach their children proper gun safety. But using pictures of children safely using guns under the supervision of an adult as a way to argue that everyone should be allowed to own any gun because THE CONSTITUTION is an obfuscation. And, to be frank, it's a little creepy.