Heracknophobia looked at her still-clad behind. “A multi-sided state of mind could change your life,” she said sagely. “You’ll soon see,” she added, running off.

Just Get It Over With put a hand on his shoulder. “May I ask for a small offering of clothing?”

“Yeah, my jockstrap.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and Just Get It Over With quivered with delight. “A full set! How blessed am I, a sinner!” She pulled off her bra, holding it in exchange, but John Handcock had already disappeared into the light of the setting sun. Luckily Chicken Bone Her was there to grab the prize.

“I trained for this bullshit,” Stinky Floss protested. “Long, hard hours of sweat and blood went into this and they just hand it to you?”

“They didn’t even save a beer for me,” added Minor 69er.

“It’s not about the destination, but the journey.” Cockamole leaned towards them. “The arduous twists and turns that bring you closer and closer to the solution, just to force you to break the pattern again.”

“And then one glorious, final move brings you to the beer check!” Bitch’s Bitch threw his arm out towards the van.

“I wasn’t aware we were drinking Kool-aid tonight,” Titty Boo Boo groused. “Besides, none of you were prodded as hard as I was with Cunty Butler forcing me to mismanage the marathon beer check.”

Just Chris shifted uncomfortably, rubbing his behind. “I might debate you on that point—make that eight points.”

“You want to talk about painful, let me tell you about my last date,” Just Louisa snarked.

Buck Fucka patted Just Chris on the back. “I feel the spirit of the Cube inside you already.”

“Maybe you should stick this up there instead?” Vagina Dentata offered him the hashshit.

“Non-pointed totems are a sin against the Cube,” Heracknophobia proclaimed.

Douchicorn and Just Ben chased after Fifty Shades, who avoided them by changing directions. “Remove his shades. Remove them, I say!” Heracknophobia and Buck Fucka took chase, while Dick Ass Mother Fucker cut off his last remaining exit.

“This way!” Hand Pump pointed into the open van, where Fifty Shades of Gay gladly jumped to safety. Hand Pump swiftly closed the door after him, locking it quickly. He looked at the approaching crowd, each member clad in One True Color. “The Cube abides,” he said somberly.