“The department has ruled out the most common drugs found in ‘bath salts,’ a press release from the ME’s office said. The toxicology testing “has identified the active components of marijuana,” the release said. “The laboratory has tested for but not detected any other street drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs, or any adulterants found in street drugs. This includes cocaine, LSD, amphetamines (Extasy, Meth and others), phencyclidine (PCP or Angel Dust), heroin, oxycodone, Xanax, synthetic marijuana (Spice), and many other similar compounds.”

The ME’s office said it sought the help of an outside forensic toxicology lab, “which has confirmed the absence of ‘bath salts,’ synthetic marijuana and LSD.” The ME’s office said that “within the limits of current technology by both laboratories,” marijuana was the only drug found in Eugene’s system.

The Sun called him the “LSD Cannibal”. Reuters said he was in a ”cocaine psychosis”. Lots od news outlets harped on about “bath salts”. Armando Aguilar of the Miami Fraternal Order of Police told WSVN:

“What’s happening is whenever we see that a person has taken all of his clothes off and has become violent, it’s indicative of this excited delirium that’s caused by overdose of drugs. What’s happening is inside their body their organs are burning up alive.”

It turns out that marijuana can turn you into you into a Zombie Cannibal! Well, it will just as soon as you can be bothered to get up of the sofa. And that human flesh is covered in chocolate, right..?…