Man, I shouldn't read this after the funny 'Squall' fic... But need you kill him off? Yeah, deathfic, but all the same. Loved how you depicted his pathetic life, how miserable he felt, and how he wanted to say how sorry he was. That was the part I really felt for him, but towards the end, things happened too fast, like when Squall entered, and next was about how Seifer felt so remorseful, and I thought that was wee bit too fast. Change of character when Seifer was attempting suicide was too abrupt, but on the whole I really liked how you build up the story, except I would have liked it chaptered... (Hehe.) Great fic, and it made me feel so much for Seifer.

By the way, you still know me, don't you? I just changed my name. But I'm still Wind. )

Wah, that was so sad. You're incredibly brilliant, you know! The buildup to the suicide at the end was very, very good, but I didn't really like the phrasing of the last line, "His futile cry is the last thing that enters my mind before I pull the trigger." But, uh, I'm not really sure why I don't like it, so that crit was completely useless. _;

I do recongnize(sp) the fic, but it's just as sad to read again. *sigh* If only Seifer had stayed alive, if only Squall had gotten to him fast enough. Hell, even when someone tries to shoot theirself in the temple, they tend to miss and the bullet just grazes their skull, in other words, they can still be saved. And who knows, maybe Squall did save him. You did, after all, cut it off just as the trigger is pulled. A nice ending by the way. Leaving it to the reader's imagination to think up what happens next.

hrm chapter 1 . 9/9/2004

shit, you kidding me? i see a beginning, middle, and end, here, even if the execution is lacking. what a rarity, these days.

all of that, and wonders seem never to cease: you managed to stick to the one viewpoint, which i rarely see carried off. forthwith, these shall be known as the bare bones of any story (or vignette, as it were), and, if you can manage that? got it on good authority you can slap on some meat.

in short: i've read worse, and you can certainly do better. so hop to.

(pour une barre de klondike, je ferais tout—even if it means breaking out with some rusty french. where is the shame?)