So Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want……

Be very thankful I’m not singing this to you; I couldn’t carry a note in a bucket, honestly!

Earlier on this evening a friend advised me to think about what it is I really want from life and for myself, and to then focus on how I achieve these goals. I started to sound like a beauty pageant contestant with my trite answers of happiness, world peace etc, and when I got down to it I could not be more specific.

“Then you are lost” my friend said.

I was quiet for a moment. “Perhaps you are right,” I said.

Because seriously, whilst I can think of a lot of things I do NOT want, I have big problems in identfying positive goals, of having the strength of mind (and nerves) to state the case for my own destiny.

And I know why too; FEAR. Apathy as well.

Fear because it will not suit some of those that depend on me to be there for them and apathy in taking on that battle.

Cutting myself some slack, I know I am getting over ( very slowly) a bad flu and feeling physically very low, but it has certainly got me thinking. I hadn’t actually realised that any positive feelings I had, held the benefit and happiness of others at the core and that my own well being was a spin-off from that. That is not noble. People do not appreciate it and really, why should they?

Again I am reminded of my good friend, quoting a well-known, but little understood, passage from the bible.

“Love thy neighbour, as you would love thyself.”

If you have problems with the love bit try replacing it with “value”; whatever works for you. But until any of us can value/love/appreciate who we are how can we hope to extend that love to others in a healthy way, without sacrificing our own hopes and dreams?