Month: December 2015

As the cheers and fireworks,
Fills the night sky above,
Cheering in the new years,
With the traditional ceremony,
As I have known and loved.

With the atmosphere in celebration,
Looking back to the past year,
Farewells are made and said,
Closing another chapter of my life,
All the struggles,
All the hurt and pains,
All the lessons learnt,
The joy, the happiness,
The discoveries and transformations,
Positive and negative, All things combined,
Farewell, to all that’s past.

Hello and welcome 2016,
Alot of expectations are expected,
From the shadows of 2015,
Huge dreams are dreamt,
Wipe away my pain,
Keep the joys in my life,
Here’s to hope, that you bring.

Gone are the days,
When my world was blacken,
Falling down ashes as rain,
Smothering, choking my inner self,
Unable to breathe the freshness,
Only the darkness filled my life.

Gone are the days,
Watching in the safety and comfort,
Feeling the uselessness and despair,
Emotions as great as the sky above,
Inconsolable feelings of distaught,
Events unfolding without any end,
Destructive forces, uniting as one.

Gone are the days,
While the world I once knew ,
Crumbling into pieces and ashes,
Shining lights from divine interventions,
Lending me the strength,
The ability and will to carry on,
What once was, gone with the days,
Knighted by the flames of suffering,
Transforming, transcending from within.

Now are the days,
Through my darkest hours,
Came strangers into my life,
Carrying me forward with my troubles,
Carrying the burden with I had to bare,
All alone, never again,
Amazing souls,
Joining my plight,
Recievied with much delight,
Couldn’t believe my sight,
Forcing and using all my might,
Fighting even through the night,
Witnessing all the amazing light,
Now, within is shining so bright.

Tonight, as the world catches on fire,
It shall burn and burn,
We are young, burning brighter,
Than any fire which burns,
We accept, the dreadful fires,
From the ashes we shall rise.

Tonight, will be our last night,
For tomorrow shall be the beginning,
A restart to the world we know,
Different than ever before,
Tonight, our last night in the world,
That we have known and loved,
Tomorrow rises, as the future begins.

Tonight is our last night,
No more than a dream of yesterday,
Rising through the clouds of doubts,
Fully accepting the responsibility,
Responding with affections,
Lovingly in the arms of those that matters,
Facing the unknown as one,
Leaning on each other,
For comfort and strength,
The challenges ahead,
Are many and afar.

Tonight is the last night,
Before the world we know,
Shall turn into strangers,
Things we known are no more,
Only with the strength within,
Are we facing this together.

Tan, you need to have more confidence in yourself.
Tan, you need to get your feet glued to the ground, too much self confidence.

Tan, you need to start caring about others.
Tan, you need to stop caring about others and look after yourself.

Tan, you have to improve on your self awareness.
Tan, you are focusing too much on yourself.

Tan, you need to be strong or others can follow your example.
Tan, your too strong, let others into your life to help you.

Tan, Tan, Tan,
People love to give me advice and complaints,
Never the compliments when I do so,
Either way, I don’t dwell so well,
When others pay me compliments,
I don’t know how to react,
Perhaps that’s why I am surrounded,
With such people! Haha.

A droplet, falling into the river,
Smooth and calm, silky motions,
Perfect surface, face of the river,
Droplet of rain, impacting suddenly,
Ruining the smoothness, the calmess.

Dropping, hiting with the faintest sounds,
Creating a motion, with a drop,
Perfect circles, forming, spreading,
Causing a ripple effect,
Upon the face which was perfect,
Growing, moving across the rivers surface,
Spreading wide and far,
Ripples upon ripples.

It took a droplet to fall,
To begin start a motion,
Strength, from a person,
Positivity, impacting those near and afar,
Growing with each waves,
Forming into something beautiful,
The effect of caring and love,
Spreading wide and far,
What a sight to behold,
What a joyous feeling,
Being the centre of all this,
Being the droplet that created it all.

Battles rages uncontrollable within,
Destroying all the structures inside,
Everything which has been built, till now,
All the foundations braking down,
Crumbling, turning into black ashes,
The world I knew, the world I known,
Falling apart, before my very eyes. .

Everything in which I had learnt,
Being tested and failing miserably,
All I had ever known, only deciets and lies,
All i had ever trusted, nothing but illusions,
My world, my life has been nothing,
Nothing at all, but a waste of life and time,
Regret and self blame, at the heights of power.

Suddenly, a force within erupted,
Awakening of myself, my true self,
Conquering the mass illusions,
Which surrounds me in deadly lies,
Waking up to the realitys of the world,
My purpose is found through chaos,
I am chaos, and everything else I feel,
Only to realise what’s true or what’s not,
This is me, conquering my deepest fears,
Overcoming everything, which held me down,
This is me, being me,
Nothing less, nothing more,
Expectations, my own.

Standing at the bottom below,
Looking up at the monstrous mountain,
Facing it with dread, tightening throats,
Swallowing the fears, keeping it at bay,
Heights so high, uphill battles,
Difficulties forseen, hardship awaits,
Continuing this course, without a doubt,
Shall be the hardest path ever taken.

Looming, as the world holds it’s breath,
Taking the first step, destroying history,
Expectations are massively overwhelming,
Success or failure, judgements already made,
Doesn’t matter at all, opinion of others,
Already is their minds, made up before it begun,
Here I am, taking the risk, the consequences,
This is for me, and I alone.

Swallowing the dread once more,
Conquering my fears first of all,
Denying my doubts to surface,
Drowning my worries within the folds,
Absorbing all the confidences,
Mustering up all my strengths,
Preparing for this part of my life,
Here I am, Here i go,
Taking the first steps,
Conquering myself.

Wrapped around Winter’s blanket,
Air, colder than ice, forming around,
With each new breath of icy chills,
Feeling the coldness, entering my lungs,
Frosty, knowing how he feels.

Divine as the splendours,
Enjoyment of mortal life,
Majestic as the Angels,
Glorious as the heroes of old,
Fantasy, dreaming reality away,
Covered with the cold,
Ice gardening inside my veins,
Gloomy as the heavens above,
Every time when Winter comes.

Every night as the wind blows,
Across my face, feeling pain,
Strong gusts of winds, cutting as a knife,
Snow falling down, in celebrations,
Anointing, acknowledging my rights,
Accepting my fate,
My destiny which lays ahead,
With the arrival of Winter,
Came answers into the night,
Unasked for permission,
At least better late than never,
Freezing, without a shield.

Winter comes,
And Winters go,
As long as I am alive,
I am always near,
Within the moments,
Has the Angels in you,
Merging, forming into one,
No longer being separate,
As one, in body and soul.

Lately I have been observing, without talking or expressing any form of what I was thinking. It was me self reflecting on the past year.

As I was in one of my thinking mood behaviours, probably looking mean and uncaring. A kitten came to my face and rubbed its nose on mine. It made me questioned this action. Did the kitten know what I was feeling deep inside? That I needed some form of affection. At that time I was beginning to feel lonely. All the things were starting to build up again. And then the kitten came and rubbed it’s nose on mine and stopped me from losing control.

It mades me wonder, if kittens have a way into the soul of a human being. Sometims we humans think we are better than these animals. Just because of what reason? What reasons do we base ourselves on these things. On the achievements of others? We think we are better because we have build house and buildings? Some humans had, not the rest.

We sometimes view these animals in the wrong light. Yet, these animals seemed happy in their lives. They don’t stress about anything. A kitten acts like a kitten. A human acts inhuman. When a kitten is hungry, it goes and hunt or finds food. If it’s sleepy, it will go and sleep. It doesn’t have any plans, they just go and do it.

Whereas a human beings. We stressed on everything. And I mean everything. Stressing to maintained the things we have. We are afraid to lose things which we claimed to own. We stress so much, even in wanting more things than we have. And want them in bigger displays. Stressing more on maintaining it also. So it makes me wonder, who is the better creature?

Can you hear that sound?
Sounding with the blowing winds,
Can you hear that gentle sound,
Drifting along with the breeze,
Floating messages from past times,
Surviving through the ages,
Tormented souls calling from beyond,
Can you hear that sound?
Listen and you may hear,
Soft tones from voices of old,
Can you hear that sound?
The sound which travelled through time,
That sound, faint sounding sounds,
Can you hear that sound?
With desperations in reaching your ears,
Can you hear that sound?
Listen closely, listen well,
Listen for it while you can,
Listen before it disappears,
Can you hear that sound?
No? Then it has vanished, never to return.