A hallmark of leather laying [inappropriately shielding children from potentially stressful or upsetting situations] is when parents’ efforts are aimed at “getting through the day,” rather than giving children the necessary limits and boundaries to struggle with, to build skills for the future. Because I largely work with parents of teens, many of these children are now eighteen, and yet they are still emotionally much younger than their ages, because their parents worked so hard to get them through the semester, school year, winter break, summer, and so on. Parents are doing all the “efforting,” which removes responsibility and the maturation process from kids.

Why are parents doing so much efforting? One of the reservations we have concerning setting and enforcing limits for our children is that we may upset them. Many parents think that a large part of their job is to comfort feelings and cheer their kids up, so parents wrestle with thoughts like “How do I give a consequence for my child’s poor behavior when he may cry and feel angry – aren’t I also supposed to soothe him?” Many parents flip-flop back and forth between setting limits and then removing them and comforting their child. This ambiguity actually disrupts the moccasin-building [internal resource-building] process, because kids are rescued from their feelings and from facing consequences. Consequences, however – whether natural or logical – provide a mirror, which is a parent’s best friend. …

More information, photos and updates about FPMT spiritual director Lama Zopa Rinpoche can be found on Rinpoche’s homepage. If you’d like to receive news of Lama Zopa Rinpoche via email, sign up to Lama Zopa Rinpoche News.

While staying near Madison, Wisconsin, US, Lama Zopa Rinpoche offered advice for the wildfires that were burning in Washington State, close to a number of students’ homes. Ven. Roger Kunsang, Rinpoche’s assistant and CEO of FPMT International Office in Portland, Oregon, scribed this advice for students eager to help:

1. Lama Zopa Rinpoche said that it is best to visualize the Lama Chöpa merit field and a great stream of nectar coming from the merit field and putting out the fires and especially helping the insects and animals who are suffering and perishing in the fire. This is best done in the context of doing the whole Lama Chöpa, if you have time.

Showers of nectar pour down purifying the negative karma of the suffering sentient beings, those who are suffering from the fire, and in general, the six realms sentient beings who are suffering, as well as those who have been harmed or destroyed in the fire. Also, the nectar is pouring down and changing the karma and the minds of the nagas, dergye (harmful spirits) and landlord beings, changing their negative minds, in order to not harm anymore.

It’s very important that one has one-pointed refuge in the merit field while doing this practice and one recites the mig-me mantras while doing this visualization.

2. Doing protector prayers is very good, especially tea offering to dergye as they control the elements, so it is important to appease them. But you can’t just offer tea and do nothing with the mind; you have to generate great bliss and emptiness.

More information, photos and updates about FPMT spiritual director Lama Zopa Rinpoche can be found on Rinpoche’s homepage. If you’d like to receive news of Lama Zopa Rinpoche via email, sign up to Lama Zopa Rinpoche News.

“In the heart of Soquel Village, California, located on the Pacific Coast south of San Francisco, the old post office stands transformed as the new Elementary Campus of Tara Redwood School (TRS). Tucked away in the forest up the road, the Redwood Campus remains a refuge for Tara’s toddlers and preschoolers. These precious learning sanctuaries serve as epicenters for empowering children to make a positive difference in the lives of their friends, families and communities. By starting with children, who are just developing a sense of self, TRS acts as a ‘nursery’ for the seeds of compassion to spread throughout the world.

“Inspired by Lama Yeshe’s vision of ‘Universal Education,’ Tara Redwood School has been developing this vision for more than 25 years by working with children to develop a logical basis for compassion. This begins with an empowered sense of self and critical thinking skills infused with an understanding of the inextricable interconnection of our outer and inner worlds. ..”

This project is only possible due to a massive and collective effort of many volunteers at the monastery (who shop for, prepare, and clean up after each meal) as well as many kind donors who contribute to this fund.

Young monks enjoying their breakfast offered by the Sera Je Food Fund.

Please enjoy this short video of the monks sharing one of these meals together.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche offering a khata to a photo of His Holiness the Dalai Lama on His Holiness’ birthday, Jamyang Buddhist Centre Leeds, UK, July 6, 2014. Photo by Ven. Roger Kunsang.

More than 200 people attended the teachings organized by Jamyang Buddhist Centre Leeds. According to Ven. Roger Kunsang, “Rinpoche’s teachings were stressing the importance of emptiness.”

“We ordinary beings who haven’t realized emptiness don’t see things as similar to illusions,” Rinpoche told Ven. Thubten Chodron during an interview in 2005. “We don’t realize that things are merely labeled by mind and exist by mere name. Generally speaking, we don’t see the mere appearance of the I until we become enlightened, because whenever our mind merely imputes something, the next second the negative imprint left on the mental continuum by previous ignorance projects true existence. In the first moment, the I is imputed; in the next it appears back to us as real, as truly existent, as not merely labeled by mind.

“Until we achieve enlightenment we have this appearance of true existence. Except for the meditative equipoise on emptiness of an arya, all other consciousnesses of sentient beings have the appearance of true existence. During an arya’s meditative equipoise on emptiness things don’t appear truly existent. It is without the dualistic view (in two senses, first) not only is there no appearance of true existence, but there is no appearance of subject and object. This wisdom mind and its object are inseparable, like water put in water. The arya’s meditative equipoise on emptiness hasn’t completely eliminated the dualistic view from the person’s mindstream forever, but it has absorbed it temporarily. That is how the wisdom meditates on emptiness. It realizes emptiness directly, becoming inseparable from emptiness. …”

More information, photos and updates about FPMT spiritual director Lama Zopa Rinpoche can be found on Rinpoche’s homepage. If you’d like to receive news of Lama Zopa Rinpoche via email, sign up to Lama Zopa Rinpoche News.

“[T]here’s no outside enemy. There’s a reason why people give harm to us, get angry with us or criticize us. There’s a reason, there’s a cause for that, and that cause is our mind,” Lama Zopa Rinpoche instructed. “For anybody, in any situation, even if a mosquito is biting us, the cause is our mind – attachment, anger, and of course no question about the root, ignorance. There’s no question, that’s the root. Ignorance – the concept holding things, the I and the aggregates as truly existent, which means the self-cherishing thought – that’s the real root.

“In the past we harmed others with these negative thoughts. We made mistakes, we did unrighteous actions and harmed others. What is happening now is the result of that. This mosquito biting us, that person who doesn’t like us even from the first time he saw us, that person who scolds us, even that unknown person who gets angry at us though we’ve never met before – all these things are just results, just creations of this mind. They are caused by this mind, by these negative thoughts, especially the self-cherishing thought.

“Actually, all these things are just like tools used by the people who are angry at us or who criticize us. All these things are like tools. The real enemy is our own self-cherishing thought, this ego, this ignorance, which causes anger, attachment and these delusions. The other things are like tools, like the stick that an angry person beats us with. The real reason is our own negative thought.

“It is very helpful to remember this when somebody is angry with us, scolding us or talking about our mistakes. If we can remember this at that time; that the situation is a tool, used by these negative thoughts. This is happening now because in the past we harmed that person, we did some wrong action to that person. The harm they are doing now is just a tool. The main enemy is our own negative mind.”

A beautiful new 9 ft tall statue of Padmasambhava has manifested at De-Tong Ling Retreat Centre on Kangaroo Island, Australia.

One of Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s vast visions for FPMT is to build many large Padmasambhava statues around the world. Please rejoice that 16 statues have now been built with Rinpoche’s wishes in mind!

Creating large holy objects like this 9 ft Padmasambhava statue require the help of many. Congratulations to the team at De-Tong Ling who made this happen.

Congratulations to De-Tong Ling and all who helped bring this project to fruition.

Listen, beautiful one having the form of a goddess, For those sentient beings who have not met me, Statues of me in the future Will become the light eliminating the darkness of ignorance. Whoever builds such statues of me, Which become objects of offering and so forth, All their future lives will become meaningful And they will establish the banner of the teachings

“After waking up in the morning, the first thing to do is to feel happy that you haven’t died yet,” Lama Zopa Rinpoche taught at Osel Shen Phen Ling, an FPMT center in Missoula, Montana, US, on August 31, 1997. This teaching, given prior to a White Tara initiation, has recently been posted on the Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive. “‘Even last night, many people in this world died. This morning, they are no longer human beings with the opportunity to practice Dharma. So far, I haven’t died. I didn’t die last night. This is a miracle! Life is full of so many obstacles – the inner obstacles of afflictive thoughts – the 84,000 delusions that shorten our lifespan and cause death – and the external obstacles of many sicknesses and dangers. I’m so fortunate to still have this opportunity to practice Dharma.’

“The meaning and purpose of your life is to be useful and bring happiness to other beings. We have this responsibility. Why do we have this universal responsibility for the happiness of all living beings? Because if we have compassion, then we won’t harm sentient beings and they will only feel peace and happiness in our presence. It all depends on what we do with our mind. If we don’t have compassion then we are only concerned about ourselves and our own happiness, due to thoughts of self-cherishing, anger, and other negative emotions that cause us to harm other living beings, directly or indirectly, from life to life. Therefore, we have full responsibility for the happiness of all beings. (Include people in your family, people who you work with, friends, enemies, and then all sentient beings. Feel this purpose of your life and your universal responsibility first thing in the morning before doing anything else. This is very important.)

“Think to yourself, ‘I have a perfect human body; I’ve met my guru who guides me on the path to enlightenment; and I’ve met the Buddhadharma, which explains the path and methods, the causes of happiness and of suffering, what is liberation and what is samsara, what is real happiness and peace and what is illusory happiness. I’m extremely fortunate!’ Rejoice – feel very happy and appreciative. Then think, ‘Therefore, I’m going to practice sutra and tantra as much as possible on the basis of correct guru devotion.’…”

More information, photos and updates about FPMT spiritual director Lama Zopa Rinpoche can be found on Rinpoche’s homepage. If you’d like to receive news of Lama Zopa Rinpoche via email, sign up to Lama Zopa Rinpoche News.

Winter in Bodhgaya, India, can be cold. In January and February temperatures dip and nighttime is difficult without warm clothing.

This winter many goats were brought to Root Institute, the FPMT retreat center in Bodhgaya, the location of Buddha Shakyamuni’s enlightenment. They were rescued from slaughter at roadside butchers by visiting pilgrims who then brought them to the center to be looked after. (It’s very hard to pass by these butchers and watch the goats tied up awaiting death standing next to the skinned corpse of the previous goat to be killed.) However, many of the goats were already sick when they were sent to the butcher and by the time they reached the center they were traumatized and weak and often died. …