I started this thread a few months ago,hope no one minds me keeping it currant,and I hope you get a laugh out of it,even if it is at my expearience.

(ps...yeah I know I cant spell)

Ok Bishop...befor I have to get going,,heres a few of my favorite memories of 10yrs plus driving long haul coast to coast.....

Comming through the tunnel in Montreal Quebec one afternoon,I look in the mirrors to se this nissian 300zx all "blacked out" in the middle lane.
Looking down through the open T-top's when it got beside me (truckers have a WICKED view inside cars going by) I see this gal giving the driver a B.J. Traffic was really going slow,so being the sh*t disturber I am I light an M-60 fire cracker with about a 15 sec fuse on it and toss it into the back seat as they pulled away.....All I saw was his head and shoulders clear the roof line of the car.
He chased me for about 100 miles befor figuring out I wasnt pulling over.....

On a sunday morning in Indyonapolis,Im driving along and see this beat up ole' peice of crap toyota pick up swerving along in the middle lane.I swithch to the far right one to pass him,and give the coustamary look in the vehicle...this old fella...and I swear on a stack of bibles he had to be pushing 70 is getting a B.J...He looks up at me gives me a toothless grin and waves.....I honk the air horns and give him the thumbs up...I mean what the hell,and old dude still getten some right on!!
About the time I hit the air horn,,,she lifts her head off his lap and waves at me with the hand holding her teeth,,,and she had to be pushing 80yrs old!!!

I'm rolling into US coustoms in washington state out of British columbia one night,when I see these two dudes with all 3-4 garbage baggs on the ground trying to take apart a spare tire under a "street lamp"......I go in side coustoms,and start the process of "Clearing the load " so I can bring it into the USA.As I walk from the "Brokers " office...(the people who prepare the paper work for comercial loads for us truckers) I hear a bunch of guys just howling......
Seems the "Street light" these 2 fells were usuing was actually a security camera and they were trying to stuff about 15lbs of weed into the spare tire and clean every thing back up befor they crossed the border.

Charlott N.C is a favorite city of mine to drive through...one afternoon I'm just buzzing along and a convertable comes roaring up past me.
The female is having a feild day with a "toy" one leg on the dash the other with the gas pedal hard to the floor.....was going great till she lost control and slammed into a police cruser who had another car pulled over ....

There;s nothing sweeter than making a cop look stupid when he's wrong and just wont admit it.One night in AZ i'm at a scale house getting a D.O.T safty inspection.
My truck at the time was an 83'...(which came from the factory with no brakes on the fron axle.
This guy darn near has an anurism when he pop's the hood.The "kid" as the cop was only about 19' becomes "Sheriff Justis T Bufford" from smokey and the bandit,,and goes ape nutts citing this and that and every thing else.
as hes writing up the tickets,he calls a tow truck to haul my truck to a shop to have front braks installed.I ask him if he knows much about the mechanical aspects of a truck,to which he informs me that "he state certified to inspect vehicles"...at this I ask him well then can you read?....now he really goes nutts,and starts mothering me up and down. I said "but sir...look at the wall behind you"....hanging there was a list of the new rules giving my truck a "grand father clause" to operate with out front brakes.
He looks,and says so what..."you truck is out of service" I ask on what grounds?....hes says "NO front brakes you idiot,what the hell do you think?"
I say ok...you fine me for that and i'll have to have you charged too.
Now he really goes nutts,,,,by this time the Staff sargent is back in the building hearing and looking things over...the tow truck has my truck hooked up,and he starts laughing.
And he says..."ahhh just what do you want officer (smith or what ever I cant remember right off hand) charged with?"
I said "impersonation of an intelligent human"...the old fella really starts laughing now....The "kid writing the ticket says "whats so funny anyway".....the old guy looks at him and says,,,You used your name to call that tow truck,this drivers truck has a FEDERAL grant to be in this state,and your dad is gonna skin you alive when he has to pay for the tow truck and this drivers time you just wasted.......
The kids father was a big mucky muck in the D.O.T and he was trying to earn a few extra brownie points.......

Thanks Bwana,,,nice to come in here and not get "smaqued"just because I love the Raiders.
As for the dark side,,,sorry bud,been in it too many years to change,but heck look at it this way....now if I ever come in here mouthing off you can LYAO at me anyway.
I just enjoy football,and chatting to break up the time while I can when i'm on the road.I dont get online very often,only when I grab a motel room once in a blue moon,but it really helps to "get away from the B.S" that goes along with being gone from home 2-3 months at a time.

Befor a crane operator knockeme 12 feet to the ground (we went to eat lunch he smoked it) I hauled machinery.These days I haul mainly dry goods,and industrial products.Currantly i'm in Jacksonville FL having just got a call my trailer is loaded.(Returned engine parts from Detroit Deisel) headding to Ohio for 2am monday,then I head to Brunswick OH to load pool tables back to Orlando.
Last week I was out in Montana delivering diapers.