the messiah, the pillar, the dictator over a cult of other douches. enuff douches to soak up roseanne's inward parts.

1. an alpha douche wears sunglasses at nite while his followers wear hats to prevent the moon from inhibting their spray tans
2. an alpha douche sports a pink polo and pops his collar to mark the fact that he has a penis
3. an alpha douche suddenly refers to bon jovi and journey as new up and coming artists whilst thinking that he has made it mainstream
4. an alpha douche drinks jager bombs with extra red bull so he can stay up to put date rape meds into the nxt girl's drink
5. an alpha douche's mating call to friends is the term: BRO