World’s Slowest Dating Service Gets Back To Me 8 Years Later

When I was 26, I decided to explore a more “organic” alternative to online dating and contacted a service called It’s Just Lunch to find out more about their offerings and promise of harmonious romance.

The premise is simple: don’t commit to dinner or drinks with a perfect stranger (even after vetting their self-inflated profile) and get stuck in an unpredictably endless conversation or hit with a $200 bill—or in my case having to buy an obliterated date’s cab ride home, letting her crash on my couch and catering to her 8am beer run request upon awakening from her drunken coma.

Instead, have lunch with your blind date, knowing you’ve an easy out with a set hard stop (“I need to get back to work now, it was really refreshing to connect over coffee”) and then bail when the lunch is over.

For a premium, you’re promised better quality matches over then online dating sites like Match.com and eHarmony. But who knew a follow-up call would take 7-8 years? Here’s a voicemail I just received from my loyal customer service rep. Better late than never?

i love how she acknowledges how long it's been, yet still presumes you are still eligible and looking for a match…doesn't even seem embarrassed buy the laughable delay or attempt to give an explanation!