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Nick Clegg loves Britain. No, really, he does. “I LOVE Britain!” he told his spring conference in York yesterday, throwing out his arms to give us all a big hug. “I love it for all its contradictions!” he gushed with more hand hugs.

He loves our modesty. That may sound a contradiction in terms but, remember, he also loves contradictions. “I love that we insist on queuing when we go abroad!” he chortled. “I love Miriam,” he told us (he probably had to say that), “telling me that the feeling of freedom you get in Britain simply doesn’t exist anywhere