Disclaimer: This work is based on characters and situations created and owned by Stephenie Meyer, various publishers and film makers including but not limited to Little, Brown Books and Summit Entertainment. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: After all of the angst I've been writing, Jasper absolutely insisted that I write a story to provide him some comfort. Keeper_of_stars requested a story showing Jasper's thoughts on the difference in height between him and Alice. When the angst became too much in my other fics, I wrote this little fic for her prompt to comfort poor Jazz.

Special thanks to my beta, Pinkowitch.

~~~~~~~~Jasper~~~~~~~~

To an outsider, it probably looked like the most uncomfortable position in the world. Alice was propped up slightly against our headboard, and I had my face buried in her chest. It probably looked like I was crushing her. Resting the entire upper half of my body on her petite frame probably would have crushed her if we were human. Even the way I had to curl my knees up under her feet so that my lanky legs would fit on the bed probably appeared awkward.

But the truth was that this was my favorite position. When I was upset or hurting, like I was today, I wanted nothing more than to have Alice hold me like this. As ridiculous as it seemed given the difference in our heights, being cradled in her arms was the only thing that truly comforted me. Alice had first done this for me shortly after we met. I had felt silly at the time, but I'd quickly learned how wonderful being held like this was. I could lose myself in Alice's love and drown my pain in her overflowing hope. This was my safe place.

I needed this after the day I'd had today. I was so ashamed of myself because I'd lost control at school. Nothing had precipitated it, not that I could tell. This girl had stepped just a little too close to me, and I'd gone wild, snarling and snapping, engulfed in madness from her proximity. I didn't kill her. It had been very close, but I hadn't done it. That didn't ease any of the guilt I felt. It had taken Emmett's full strength to restrain me. People had noticed the inhuman way he'd rushed to my side and my odd, animalistic behavior. Edward and Carlisle were now discussing what should be done about my incident. Had it made people too suspicious? Was the family going to be forced to move because of me, again? It was humiliating to know that the rest of the family was talking about me and what to do about me, like I was a naughty little child. What did they expect of me, though? I'd told them that it was too hard for me to do this without Alice at my side. I needed her to help me center my emotions and remain in control. But Edward had insisted that we needed to be in separate grades. At the last school we'd tried, people had become too suspicious when we tried to pass Alice and me off as being the same age. Edward had a point about that, but I'd known that this would happen. I'd told him that I couldn't keep control without my Alice. I'd begged Carlisle, but in the end, the family decided it was best to try it this way. They'd left me in the hell that was school without Alice to calm me, or even to foresee when I might be heading for trouble. As much as I hated his power, even Edward could protect me better. But no, they had to pretend to be younger. They left me with Emmett and Rosalie, and what could they do to prevent me from causing problems? The fact that I needed someone to watch me, like a babysitter, made me feel even more ashamed. My shoulders shuddered as I thought about it all.

Alice's arm snuggled me tighter while she continued to soothingly stroke my hair. I didn't care if the position was odd; this was what I needed. It helped to be able to feel for certain that Alice still loved me despite my flaws. She wasn't angry at me for messing up. She was still content to simply hold me in her arms. I focused on her emotions and let them wash over me. Curled up tightly to her like this, I could let her feelings completely overtake me.

I did occasionally wonder what it might be like if she were taller. It would be nice to have more of her to cuddle. I'd love to be able to intertwine our legs and let her body fully envelop me. But if she were taller, there would be things that I would miss. I'd miss the silly way she always leapt into my arms when she was happy. She would spring across the room and then simply jump, knowing that I would catch her midair. The tops of her toes barely grazed my knees, but I never had any problems carrying her around like that. It was actually . . . fun.

And then there was the dance at our wedding. Alice loved dancing, but she preferred swing dancing. She'd picked it up in the 1930s and had fallen in love. The style worked for us since there was so much jumping and lifting. For our wedding, though, I had wanted something special. I wasn't one to be overly nostalgic about my human life; it had been a brutal time. But there was one thing that I did miss. I had loved the formal balls, twirling a lady in my arms. For our wedding, I had insisted. Alice let me have a formal waltz for our first dance. Of course it was nearly impossible given our heights, but I had made it work. I had lifted her in my arms and spun her around the dance floor as if her feet were actually on the ground. There was something about the memory. It was cute how she couldn't reach the floor. It was all the more romantic because I had to carry her for the entire dance. If she were taller, that dance would not have been the same. I wouldn't change anything about our first dance as a married couple for the world. Remembering the look in her eyes then and the love radiating off of her . . . even now it put a smile on my face.

"You seem to be feeling better," Alice commented as she continued to run her fingers through my hair.

I could feel myself relaxing in her arms. Her emotions, her touch, our memories . . . together they were calming me down and easing my pain. "Just reminiscing," I whispered. For now, I had my Alice, and that was all that mattered to me.