The 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards honoring last year’s achievements
in both television and film were held on Sunday. As far as awards shows
go, the Golden Globes are what you’d end up with if the Academy Awards
and the Emmy’s got together and had a spangly, drunk baby. There’s an
open bar, so the event usually unravels as the evening rolls on.
Acceptance speeches become more incoherent, presenters become more
bleary-eyed, and sore losers stop trying to even remotely mask their
indignation. It’s a hot mess and this year did not disappoint.

My
viewing buddy is my best friend, Beth. We tend to care about a handful
of the awards (read: the movies/shows we’ve actually seen) and gravitate
more towards “That dress is pretty” and “That person is super wasted,”
so, I would be remiss if I didn’t include our top picks for the night.

For
Best Acceptance Speech: Matthew McConaughey. First, his win was kind of
unexpected, which is always nice, but mostly his speech was just
further confirmation that he and his character from Dazed and Confused are the same person. Alright, alright, alright.

For
Most Cringe-Inducing Speech: Cate Blanchett. She made a joke about how
her tablemates plying her with vodka must be how Judy Garland felt being
plied with barbiturates. There was a collective intake of breath from
Beth and I after that little gem. Joking about the actual way someone
died isn’t particularly funny. Not cool, Cate Blanchett. Liza will not
be pleased.

Best Oops Moment goes to presenter Matt Damon who
forgot his glasses and couldn’t read the teleprompter. It was adorable
and his ad-lib ended up sounding a lot better than the scripted dreck
the writers usually come up with.

This awards season is gearing up
to be a good one with a decent variety of winners and new faces. I’m
excited to do this again in March for the Oscars. You can bet that Beth
and I will be on the couch discussing our favorite moments and yelling
at the TV for Jared Leto to get a haircut.