Playing pool and drinking beer.Nothing more'n the occasional tear.But this man's life goes on and he getsGreased all over from time to time.At the strip joint, where we metHe said 'Hi, my name is Ted.See that one over thereThat ball of thunder.Every time she goes Vavoom,I wiggle in my chair.Oh, can I buy you a beer?'What a guy.

'I've had a few myself, he said,'But I never quit when I'm ahead.Too many rules and regulationsStupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors.And another thing I won't discuss is religion.It always causes a fight VavoomThere she goes again.'How does she do that' said Ted.

And he told me of those unjustices thatHe had suffered in his life.His wife and kids and boss and dogs and neighboursRaising cain and causing strifeThey were forever whiningBleating howling yapping screeching moaning crying VavoomHe fed them wellHe keep them warm.Ted the Mechanic.

Thing about Ted, he didn't really careNothing much got in his hairAnd the beauty of it was that he was rightHe was big as a truck and fast as a door(What's that?)He was always rightThe banjo player took a hikeWhat's that songI used to like VavoomHe was big as a truckFast as a door - TedWhat a guy.Ted the man, our Ted.