Moving On....Again

Most of us, 64%, ask ourselves if we're really, truly happy "now and then." Self-reflection isn't easy. Sometimes I think so hard about life that I can barely breathe, and other times I can be so carefree that I'm almost immune to reality. Like everything, it's all about balance. Oh, I'm trying a therapy session next week like you voted for (sorry, I was waiting for health insurance to kick in).

Since I moved here, I have this 'feel-good" ritual, which always soothes me after days like yesterday. I hike all the way up Runyon Canyon (this glorious, but daunting, mountain in Hollywood Hills), sit indian style at the very top, stare at the sky, and surrender myself to the purest of feelings. I cry, scream, sing, dream, dance, whatever! My mind is so clear up there -- it's magical. It's where I decided that I had to take this job, even though I was a little scared.

So today, up there, I realized why I was so sad about Tyler calling it quits. I mean, like JessLuken said, I wasn't even sure about him, so why all the self-pity? I felt this overwhelming sense of...failure. Another relationship didn't work. Another disappointment. Another one leaves. Another one left behind. Another new beginning. I don't know what it means, but failure (and frustration) kept coming up.

To add insult to injury, I got this great writing gig today -- it pays well, was hard to get and best of all, it's NOT about my love life (ha!) -- but I felt like I had no one to call. My friends/family are fully there for me, but they don't need to know every aspect of my career. It was the kind of news you want to share with a boyfriend/husband -- someone who is invested in your future because you're "in this life" together. It's like, what's the point of money, fame, success, anything, if you don't have someone to share it with?

I just want to find him, wherever he is. I really, really do. Therefore, while I'm not rushing to meet another guy, when you're single, you should always be looking, right? It would be nice to meet someone who actually lived in LA too! So, when I'm in the mood, where should I go next to meet a few good men? And remember, you vote, and I'm there.