Tuesday, March 5, 2013

We accept the love we think we deserve

I have a hard time turning a movie off or closing a book,
even when it might be the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Something deep
within me almost needs to believe that no matter how horrible it is, there must
be some redeeming quality that catapulted such a mess into creation. This was the case with a movie I watched
Friday evening while packing my life into mismatched cardboard boxes.

I got this little gem- “We accept the love we think we
deserve.”

I was surprised at the depth of this statement thrown out as
almost a second thought. We accept the love we think we deserve. With
each year that I tick off on some invisible calendar the necessity and desire
for relationship increases. Relationship with my family. My friends.
Romantically. And with God.

I crave connection, I
crave love.

It is in my opinion that I have been incredibly blessed with
a family and solid friends who give me love and connection even when I don’t
deserve it. When it comes to friends few of us short sale ourselves; the friendships
that last and we keep around are generally relationships that have been nurtured,
respected and provide a mutual gain and sense of connection. So then, why do we
sell ourselves short when it comes to romantic relationships and communion with
God? Why do we accept less? Why do we think we deserve less? Why do we give
less? On a spectrum of “1 to fan-freakin’tasic” why do we not only accept less
but expect it?

Girls will talk. The mantra is all to true, some of us do talk….a
lot (or in my case, write). As my friends and I sift through these mixed stages
in life we find ourselves in, we talk about relationships, dating, marriages
and the whole gamete of romantic adventures presenting themselves to us. One
common thread I hear over and over again “I know I deserved better,” when that
little voice inside your head is screaming “Run, they are about to bring you
down and treat you bad.” Then run. You deserve the best. You are beautiful and
handsome. You are smart. You deserve respect. You deserve to be loved right. Accept
the love you actually deserve, because you are worth it. You are worth more than every single dollar on this planet, so don't accept someone who treats you like a $50 dollar bill.

I think every relationship will have its pitfalls and
difficulties. We are an imperfect people, we are selfish and needy and have a
lot of growing to still do. We are wired to crave that connection with others,
which can create its own set of problems; but we are also wired to crave
connection with God, which fixes most of those problems.

If we deserve the very best, the love that actually is perfect,
why do we push it away, or turn away from it? I think some of us have a hard
time accepting God’s love because we don’t feel we deserve it. We are sinners.
We live sinful lives. Why would a God that is all powerful and all-knowing want
to love such a horrible mess such as ourselves…or maybe we don’t want to accept
God’s love because that means we would have to expect more of ourselves. We
could be nothing less but transformed and changed, and changing can be a scary
thing, especially when we kind of life some aspects of our lives. But if the love from an imperfect person has the power to captivate and
change us, what more could the love of someone perfect do.

We were made to accept the love that redeemed us. We were
made to deserve so much more than brokenness. We were made to be fulfilled and changed. So
what love is it that we accept?