All fired up!

Bill Brownstein, Calgary Herald05.16.2013

Canada's Barbecue King Ted Reader points out that gastro does not entail "pretentious, but rather the art and science of good eating," because he wants nothing more than to dispel the old caveman myth about grunting guys subsisting only on burgers, sausages and steaks.

Reader can even do dessert — anything from brownies to infused Twinkies to angry blueberries with cold cream — and drinks — how 'bout deconstructed fire-roasted bourbon Caesar with tomato bourbon bursts? — on the barbecue.

Instructions for the creation of the aforementioned dishes are listed in Reader's 21st opus, Gastro Grilling. The title is not to be mistaken for an intestinal disorder but rather a reference to the 135 grilling recipes contained therein.

Reader points out that gastro does not entail "pretentious, but rather the art and science of good eating," because he wants nothing more than to dispel the old caveman myth about grunting guys subsisting only on burgers, sausages and steaks.

And if fellow grill-gourmands can't visit Reader at "Casa Barbecue" on his Etobicoke estate in the 'burbs of Toronto, he'll attach the mother of all barbecues (a 3,500-pound combo of grills, rotisseries and a smoker) to his pickup truck and lug it to a location near you — provided there is a culinary bookshop in the area selling his latest.

So, on this day, Reader has set up shop in the backdoor parking lot of the Appetite for Books shop in Westmount.

"Barbecuing is not just about belly-filler," says Reader, 50, sipping a brew while prepping his feast. "It's about saying 'Wow.' It's about pushing people to grill something better."

Not that there is anything wrong with a grilled steak, burger or chicken breast. In fact, Reader nabbed the Guinness World Record three years ago for grilling the world's biggest burger — a 590-pound behemoth, which apparently fit on a 121-pound bun, cooked on 400 pounds of charcoal - for a charity fundraiser.

And don't forget Reader's recipe for beer-can chicken tacos, which begins with opening a can of beer and taking a good-sized guzzle before getting down to the nitty-gritty of placing the beer can in the butt of the chicken on a pie plate, roasting and shredding and all the rest — probably best executed in an un-imbibed state.

As grill enthusiasts are abundantly aware, choices abound on the barbecue front. Gas or charcoal? The former, if time and convenience are issues.

If not - or if one has a flame-thrower like Reader - charcoal is preferable, but what kind?

Reader leaves his readers' heads spinning with an array of choices. Lump versus briquettes. Maple, hickory, mesquite, coconut, orange grove, ono kiawe or jerk - named for its Jamaican origins and not for the lunkhead griller.

Reader is employing none of the above for our barbecue. He's actually using "dragon's breath" - not a volatile combo of his bourbon and beer fumes from the night before, but rather an amalgam of hickory and oak-wood for better aromatics.

Reader is not in denial about the danger of carcinogens in grilling. "But there are ways to combat that. Scrub and rub down your grill regularly. A clean grill and a hotter grill is a healthier grill. The smoke, especially with charcoal, should be clear or non-existent or white. If it's anything darker than that, it's starting to carry all the carcinogens. It's all about the patience of waiting for the charcoal to get to where it should be. Gas, of course, is much cleaner and easier to work with from that perspective."

Reader hails from that culinary hotbed of Paris. Paris, Ont., that is. "What can I say? I am a Parisite," cracks the chef, who took culinary management courses in Toronto and who claims to have once had 109 grills in his backyard.

Cooking, it seems, has not been passed down from his parents. His dad is OK. "But as dad always says: 'When I met your mom, she couldn't boil water.' My wife is a good, competent cook. She's a divorce lawyer - so I can't say anything negative.

A lot of what I learned actually came from my grandfather who would show me menus and pictures of banquets he attended, with his notes. So I started cooking when I was 6 and have been doing it ever since."

Reader had employed the mother of all brushes to clean the grill and a snow shovel to spread out the charcoals, then his trusty flame-thrower to ignite them. Now the charcoals are white-hot and ready. It's raining even harder and the wind is howling. But a little shot of bourbon makes Reader oblivious to the elements.

"I've cooked on the side of a road and in a mountain snowstorm, and I've even stood in the ocean with a grill. Rain is nothing. I can cook anywhere."

Provided, of course, that the bourbon and beer are nearby.

On go the green onions, shrimps, tuna, steak and polenta. Then the cheese and baguette chunks. About 10 minutes later, with minimal moving and no prodding, the feast is made. And it is mouth-watering to gaze at.

2 They touch the food too much. Don't poke. Don't prod. Don't do anything. Anytime they want to touch, they should have a sip of beer instead.

3 They attempt recipes that are out of their realm. So they should experiment on their families, not their friends - because families are more forgiving.

4 They don't clean their grills enough. A clean grill is a healthy grill. They have to get good grill brushes and use them regularly. Once the brushes are gunked up with grease and the bristles start coming off, throw them out.

5 Lastly, people have to chill out. It's just food. It's about having fun and creating a meal that they can share with friends and family, or girlfriend or boyfriend, or potential girlfriend or boyfriend. Grilling is not meant to be difficult. Nothing has really changed from the old days when our ancestors used to cook around an open fire.

If I can do it, anybody can. It doesn't matter if people follow my recipes or anyone else's to the letter, just use them as guides and make your own memories of tastiness.

Almost Done!

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