- making sleep a top priority by getting to bed earlier, insisting on more help at night, and taking naps whenever possible

- exercising routinely, whether it's walking vigorously with the baby in a stroller or joining a gym offering good childcare

Encourage connections. Nowadays, the village it takes to raise a child typically looks more like a ghost town. This unprecedented departure from the evolutionary paradigm for families has led to less support for parents and children, and more strains on everyone.

As a result, a mother often finds it helpful to discuss how she can increase her sense of community, particularly with other parents. We may start by exploring the judgments that get in the way, like embarrassment about having a misbehaving preschooler. Then we'll discuss options such as joining a mothers' club or playgroup, getting involved in her kids' school, or exploring mother-related websites.

"Community" includes extended family, and any issues there typically intensify after children come along. We'll discuss what she wants from her relatives, the support she needs from her partner, and the little things she can learn to roll with, versus the big things that are intolerable and need to be worked on.