I emailed my manager last week about some employees in our sister department who think its fine and dandy to dump all of their responsibilities on our shoulders. Today I got an email from my manager about a meeting I'm supposed to have with her, one of the employees I mentioned to her, and that employee's manager. This manager is notorious for being nasty and defending her employees to the hilt, no matter their wrongdoings, and I'm really scared and stressed, even though I had legitimate and valid concerns. I already know this isn't going to bode well for me. Fork me.

I emailed my manager last week about some employees in our sister department who think its fine and dandy to dump all of their responsibilities on our shoulders. Today I got an email from my manager about a meeting I'm supposed to have with her, one of the employees I mentioned to her, and that employee's manager. This manager is notorious for being nasty and defending her employees to the hilt, no matter their wrongdoings, and I'm really scared and stressed, even though I had legitimate and valid concerns. I already know this isn't going to bode well for me. Fork me.

Do you have anything in writing? Like emails from the other department or this person in particular to support your case? Also, can you have a meeting with your manager prior to the other meeting so that you can work on a strategy with her?

If you know what they are going to throw back at you, prepare yourself. You know you are in the right! Is there anyone else in your department who would support you and can be asked to attend the meeting as well?

Thanks Angelina. Unfortunately, our department is viewed as the red-headed stepchild, so to be honest, I shouldn't even have vented my frustration to the manager because we never get any support. My coworkers all feel the same way, but they know it's futile as well, so none of them would be interested in attending the meeting. Our manager is a walllflower and the other is a big bully. It's becoming increasingly difficult for me to work in a non-union state. No recourse whatsoever.

I've been able to deal with my anxiety a lot better over the last few months, especially after getting off anxiety meds (they helped at first but then made hugs worse). The one thing that still sends me over the edge is checking the mail. I don't check it often enough, and I let it go a few weeks this time and that makes things worse. I feel better now that it is done, especially since there was nothing overly scary or unexpected. But I hate that it still terrifies me so much.

I would ask your manager for a pre-meeting meeting, and raise your concerns so she is on your side and prepared to do most of the talking. The chain of conversation should really be staff (you) to your manager, then manager to manager not staff to another department's manager, and if she does that right, then she would be doing most of the talking.

You want to avoid a situation where you are doing all the talking, because then the power dynamic will leave you exposed. So keep going back to her and pulling her in if you have to.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Pretty unimportant, but I went to visit my boyfriend at his place of employment yesterday (I used to work at the store he does...so I know quite a few of the people there). I went to say hi to one of my favorite old coworkers, and he was asking what I was doing now.So I say, "Oh, I work at [insert awesome acoustic shop here].""Oh," he says. "The only time I went in there, I was holding a guitar and the only thing a guy said to me was, 'You scratch that, you buy it.'" And proceeded to shiitake talk my place of employment in front of half a dozen customers. I was appalled at his behavior- this forty-something year old man deriding where I work- a really great, fantastic shop with amazing resources for musicians. While he's working at the big box music store musicians hate.I never shiitake talk this big box place. I mean, occasionally I'll go on a spiel about a policy of theirs I disagree with or why my place is better, but I never talk like he did about us.I wish I had come up with a better response than, "We're not like that anymore." Because of COURSE someone told you that. We have instruments worth $15,000 dollars. The majority of things in our store are over $2,000. I am frequently telling customers (politely) to please treat the instruments kindly. We don't have the ability to discount every single thing in our store like they do. We have a reputation to uphold. Ugh. It made me so angry. I'm so proud of and attached to the shop I work at.

Sorry to hear that, TupeloHoney. Are there any support forums, or threads on here that would be relevant? Maybe not as good as speaking to a friend, but possibly a little helpful?

Probably not, but I did leave a message with my psychiatrist. I'm waiting for him to refer me to an eating disorder specialist that is covered by my insurance. I'm glad to be nipping this in the bud, but in the meantime, it's so hard to be back in that state of mind. Especially when I've just moved out on my own for the first time, and am always by myself. And I still haven't found a job, so I really can't afford to get sick again.

You are good to be nipping this in the bud. Honestly, just do it as soon as you possibly can. I am living breathing proof that recovery is possible, but you are right to know that you can't do it alone.

Creating a terrifying "meal" out of soymilk, rice, and tofu. I tried, really poorly, to make something similar to a curry or something and it turned out terrible. I don't even know what I was thinking..

When my mom died, my sister was horrible to me. She insisted on being the co-executor of the estate because she said I was incompetent, stupid and a thief. She accused me of stealing stuff, she micromanaged me and every step of the process (I was in NJ and able to do everything) and was generally just a crasshole. There was one account that she insisted on liquidating because it was full of investments and she said she would know how to value them etc. I just let it go because I was so tired, and we didn't really speak for 3 years.

So four years later, I find out that she hasn't liquidated the account and its gone down from having $100,000 in it to $10,000. If we don't liquidate soon, the rest of the money will be considered abandoned and escheat to the state. And now she isn't returning my calls.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

At urgent care with what I hope is just a pulled muscle in my back. I can't sit up without crying.

_________________No. No. fork life allatimes. - mumblesThat commercial didn't make me want to go out and buy Dove, but this thread did make me sniff my armpits. They smell like apricot. - designedtobekind

It is 4:38 in the morning. I have not slept a minute. I tried to go to sleep at 11:00. I know that this is my body's response to A) not eating properly B) not exercising c) not drinking enough water d) being stressed about my job/school, which is the reason A,B,C are happening. There isn't much I can do about this right now since it's almost 5. I just need to get through this day, which sadly won't end until 10 at night.Also I'm out of money until Friday so that means I won't have coffee to get through work.

Dr. Apricot - owww! Hope it's not too serious and that you feel better soon. Back pain is terrible.

I hope you get through the day and get some good sleep tonight, carrotflower.

My worst thing isn't that bad, it's just that I still haven't really recovered from norovirus. I had to go into work because I was pretty much past the 'highly contagious' stage, and knew there was a shiitake ton of work waiting for me (including stuff I'd forgotten about like the monthly stats, and sending out the newsletter, and of course the email system was being unbelievably s l o w for some reason) and my head felt ridiculously muzzy and I still feel nauseous. Pah!

_________________"Let's narrow the potential audience to Hegan Seagans who are Beegan when they Freegan" - Tigon

The doctor seems to think it's just a pulled muscle, though he isn't ruling out sciatica if things don't improve in the next couple of days. In the meantime I have some serious painkillers and muscle relaxers, which makes life much easier.

_________________No. No. fork life allatimes. - mumblesThat commercial didn't make me want to go out and buy Dove, but this thread did make me sniff my armpits. They smell like apricot. - designedtobekind

I'm developing unhealthy obsessions over two things and they've kept me from sleeping for the last three nights. My self care has almost gone out of the window, I've lost weight because I haven't eaten properly in a couple of weeks at least, I feel physically ill from the lack of sleep and keep getting stomach cramps. I'm seeing my doctor about it on the 13th but am a bit concerned as to what this means and what the treatment could be.

Peppermint oil and sonic noise? I'd worry that neighbors' pets might hear it. I *am* planning on adopting a cat in January sometime. I'm going to do a serious deep clean of my apartment this weekend and try to figure out where they're getting in to my apartment, see if I can block up the holes as much as possible.

My friend did offer to let me borrow her cat. Not sure he's much of a mouser, but I'm sure the smell would help for a while. Maybe I'll invite her over and her cat.

I'm starting to panic about the next step in Wilson's immigration process. Like, shortness of breath, chest tightness, sleeplessness--panic! I'm really trying to stay optimistic and brave, but I don't know what I'll do if he isn't able to come back. He's my best friend and like, the ultimate partner to me. We complement each other just right. Every couple days I feel like I'm just going to completely lose my shiitake. I pull it together, but I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with the strain.

ETA: I mean, I'll deal with it as long as it takes. I just needed to vent.

_________________I would eat Dr. Cow pocket cheese in a second. I would eat it if you hid it under your hat, or in your backpack, but not if it was in your shoe. That's where I draw the line. -allularpunk

Having a bad pain day, accompanied by a lot of chest pain which seems to happen the nights I really don't get restful sleep. I need a massage so bad it's not even funny but wont be able to afford one for a long time. Le sigh.