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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Random Man

I was lying on my bed staring at nothing, wondering about the vagaries of the world. Very soon a movement in the emptiness in front of me shook me out of the reverie. It was a mosquito which had flown into my sacred airspace. Now it was still, hanging in mid air. No movement at all.

Many thoughts crossed my mind. First I thought, maybe it was not a mosquito and that I had discovered a new species of spiders, which looked like mosquitoes. I strained my eyes to look for a tell tale piece of gossamer by which it was probably hanging. Couldn't see anything. Then I thought it was a mosquito with an identity crisis and then that maybe I was dreaming.

Normally a stationary mosquito is an inviting prospect to clap your hands. But this one intrigued me and I waited for it to make a move as it probably contemplated which part of my anatomy to feast on.

"Well, aren't you going to do something?" I heard. That was it I was surely dreaming, I thought, a mosquito with spidery habits and talking, English that too, though it wouldn't have mattered much even if it was speaking Spanish or French.

"Like what?" I asked, just to keep it in good humor.

"Like try to kill me."

"Why would I do that?" I lied, in a very questionable manner.

"Because if you don't, then I might bite you."

"Would you do that? Why would you do that?" I asked.

"Because I need to, I have to lay eggs."

"Oh! So you are a female. You might just survive then, since I don't raise my hands on females."

"How dumb? All the mosquitoes which bite you or any other human being are females."

"Really?" I was disappointed at such a sudden jolt to my sense of chivalry as well as genius.

"You really don't know much about mosquitoes, do You? We need blood to lay eggs. The proteins and iron in the blood is essential for the development of our offspings. That is why male mosquitoes do not bite humans, because they don't need your blood to survive."

"Not even just to have fun or for taste?"

"No. Males do not have the proboscis so they can't really draw blood. Even we don't need the blood to survive. It is only for procreation."

"Thank God, the human females are not made like that."

"Very funny."

"Why me?" I asked.

"Why not? We are not very choosy. Your blood is as good as any one else's. Do you think it really matters, Who we take it from?"

"You don't even know me."

"This is definitely the height of social living. I mean you expect a mosquito to introduce itself and then develop a rapport with you before it can draw blood."

"No, I mean don't you want to know about me before you take my blood into your body."

"No, would it matter to you which mosquito takes blood from you."

"As a matter of fact, yes. Are you Anopheles?"

"No. By the way, Don't you have anything better to do than talk to a mosquito. I am leaving."

"Don't you have something to do, like blood and all."

"You have taken all the fun out of it by asking so many questions. I mean it is just a simple activity in the process of reproduction. I can imagine what human females must be going through. So, No. I am going to give it a pass."

"The others will think you are crazy."

"I doubt it. You are the one talking to a mosquito dude"

The mosquito moved away from me and joined another one. As they were flying away, the other one asked, "Who was he?"