NFL Opening Weekend: Rabbit Punches

Fantasy teams have been drafted, and quarterbacks are bracing for full contact which means it is time for the NFL regular season. For me, this means returning from my writing hiatus to bring you my hilariously specific musing about the NFL. For my loyal reader(s) I do feel the need to explain this hiatus over the off season. I suffered the writers equivalent to a turf toe injury. No I’m not talking about carpal tunnel syndrome that is more like a high ankle sprain for a writer because people understand why you cannot produce. My ‘injury’ this off season was Major Depressive Disorder, or as its known on the street, depression. Depression is the turf toe of writing because it seems like an injury you should be able to play through, but it just keeps nagging at you. And it hurts. However this is not my first bout with writers turf toe so I knew what to expect from rehab. I got my Adrian Peterson on and worked hard through brain rehab and am coming into this writing season stronger than I have ever felt.

NFC North

Adrian Peterson predicted he will rush for 2,500 yards this season breaking Eric Dickerson’s single season rushing record, of which Peterson fell just shy last season. Minnesota Vikings head coach Leslie Frazier got on board with trying to help Peterson get those extra yards by sticking with Christian Ponder as his starting quarterback.

The Chicago Bears hired Marc Trestman this off season as their head coach. Trestman has been called the Bill Belichick of Canada. His on the field production supports this comparison, but he has yet to prove if he can keep his team as disciplined off of the field as Belichick. Maintaining discipline off the field in the CFL is nothing compared to the NFL, because as Belichick would warn Trestman, no one including players can own guns in Canada.

The Green Bay Packers attempted to get Aaron Rodgers Some help this season by drafting running back Eddie Lacy. Lacy improves the Packers ground attack but his raw statistics should diminish compared to his college stats. The early struggle for Lacy is not because he is a rookie in the NFL but because he ran behind a better line at Alabama than he will in Green Bay.

Last season the Detroit Lions were plagued by disciplinary issues. Some reporters claim that General Manager Martin Mayhew is the worst judge of character in the NFL. Mayhew defended his ability to evaluate character by saying that after Rodgers and Ryan Braun, he isn’t even the worst judge of character in the division.