Via Marcelo…

Okay, as an Asian, I really don’t know if I should be offended by this. Steven Seagal, martial arts expert and star of action movies like Under Siege and Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, recently launched a new energy drink line called Lightning Bolt. And one of the flavors is entitled, you guessed it, the Asian Experience. The drinks are made with Tibetan Goji Berry, Asian Cordyceps, Gingko Biloba, Green Tea, and a whole host of other energy-boosting ingredients that I don’t really care about. What I want to know is, how the hell does an Asian Experience taste like? Does it taste like soy sauce and ginger? Does it taste like raw fish on rice? If you drink it, will you start to feel Asian? I think I’ll stop myself before I hash out more Asian stereotypes.

If you feel like you need some of this “100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice” (ewwww), then go ahead and order a can for $2.99 a pop. Me, I already have a lifetime’s worth of this “Asian experience.”