Sunday, July 5, 2009

Some of my favorites! Sarah, I'll miss ya, baby! For the sake of every Republican in this country I hope you go quietly, and stay out of national politics for good, but for the rest of us, I hope you garner the Republican nomination in 2012. My father always said, "Quitters never prosper." Prove him wrong, sweetheart!

I surely hope my post from last week didn't in any way influence your decision to quit on the people of Alaska.

Here's a better analogy, Sarah: A good point guard drives through a full court press, and instead of passing the ball she drops it says, "Fuck it, I know we're way down and we could use me, but I quit. Maybe I'll return in a couple of seasons, when you really need me. I'm out for now. Ya'll can take on this team with a woman down. Good luck!"

She's quitting to pursue a higher calling? A higher calling? Calling? This woman has a vivid imagination. If god exists I am quite sure he isn't calling her. But, for the hell of it, how does that conversation go?

"Sarah, it's me: God! Yeah, I know we haven't spoken in a couple of weeks. I was in Barbados. But, I'd like for you to abandon your post as governor. You heard me. QUIT! Tell 'em you're quitting for your family. Bring your son into it. And, then tell 'em I told you to do it. Shut up for a while. You know, lay low. Then, in a couple of years, you, with my help, will take America back! Good luck, sweetheart. I know I'm gonna love the basketball reference. You kill me with that sports' shit. You're so damn clever!"