It’s all fun and games a few weeks or months into a relationship when both parties are so involved in making the other happy and feel special. As the clichéd thought process goes, movies have always shown us how romantic it is courting someone and vying for their attention, this culminates in the boy and girl falling hopelessly in love with each other but no one shows us what happens after. I’ll tell you what happens after, it comprises of long silences, uninterested conversations, mundane routines and a sharp decline in libido. Now that I have successfully managed to dampen your lovelorn spirits, let me give you a pick me up and tell you how you can change this around!

Dear Urban Cupid,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years now. We are extremely attached to each other and also share an apartment. I have gotten extremely comfortable with him and we do everything together. We also plan on getting married a couple of years down the line. My problem is when the lights go out; the spark in our relationship has dimmed considerably. We don’t have sex as often and he doesn’t pay attention to how I look, making me lose interest in how I dress. He doesn’t seem enthused about getting physically intimate on a regular basis and even when we do, we have all the moves down pat which makes it seem like an exercise. HELP!

Yours truly,

Priya

Dear Priya,

Let me congratulate you on your relationship, it seems like you have everything going for you in terms of stability, love and comfort. The fact remains that you aren’t having sex as often as you used to, which definitely isn’t too much fun. So, here’s what, men tend to get extremely comfortable in relationships and don’t feel the need to compliment/critique the appearance of their better half. Sex is an extremely important aspect in a relationship and the lack of this activity can lead to cranky, misguided behavior. Here’s what you can do to spice up your love life -:

1) Mix it up – Change things up a bit in your routine, don’t do the same old things over and over again. Love to stay in over the weekends? Go out for a romantic dinner date, take the effort to dress up and look your best. Men, generally, can’t resist visual bait.

2) Catch him unaware – Think your late night, lights out romp wasn’t up to the mark, catch him unaware in the shower or when he is reading his dull ol’ book. That’s sure to get his attention.

3) Buy Lingerie – Throw out all your granny panties and invest in lingerie that makes you feel awesome about your body. Buy those pushups, he’ll thank you for it and maybe you will too.

4) Keep the lights on – No, sex is not meant to be had in the dark. It is not a forbidden act. Indians are so prudish about sex that the act becomes an activity. Keep the lights on; appreciate what you both have to offer. Get mirrors, they are awesome fun too.