When I reached for your hand it wasn’t there to grab it
I’d look up to see your face
But you would look in another direction
distracted
Busy judging what others are doing
Rather focussing on them than on your own doings
I would grab your skirt
Pulling it a few times
Trying to get your attentions
You gave it a yank
And I would feel the fabric slip through my fingers
And you slipping along with it

I then would try to call your name
A little louder the next three times
Your response would always be the same
nothing…

I’d put my arms around your body
and lay my head on your chest
But it felt more like hugging a statue
than a human being instead
so very cold
I’d take a little of your sadness
to try and warm you up
But the endless emptiness doesn’t seem to stop
I would hug you tighter
tighter
and tighter
Desperately trying to make you feel better
Sometimes it would work
And on your face would grow a smile
but that only ever lasted
for a little while

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April Bucketlist

- Practice piano
- Start writing poetry again
- Eat clean
- Finish up school work
- Celebrate my dad, brother and grandpa their birthdays
- Work out regularly
- Make pictures for my bookstagram
- Put a new cover online
- Make images on illustrator
- Go outside every day and enjoy the sun
- Keep in contact with my friends