Addiction help

Does anybody have experiences in addiction problems? My DH has always smoked weed, to which I have (stupidly) turned a blind eye. The new problem that is surfacing is an addiction to ice. Its getting worse and he wont stop. I have been pleading with him to stop for the sake of our family and it is happening still. Like once or twice a week. The drug makes him weird and it makes me physically sick looking at him chewing his jaw and acting strange. Of course it makes me angry and upset that my pure innocent 6mo daughter is under the same roof when he is like that. He comes down terribly about two days after use, and becomes an angry nightmare. He is not abusive towards me, just angry. Right now I am at my mums because he came home high again yesterday. This has all started in the last 6 months or so and it is destroying our life. I love this man so much, he is my everything but this addiction has just taken hold of him. He is a different person. I have kept it a secret all this time and finally through many tears I have told my mum. She was shocked and sad that I waited so long to say something. I just dont know where to go from here. Can there be a happy ending? I want to help him overcome this, but I think I need to involve his family because I cant get through to him on my own. He would never forgive me if I told his dad, but I just can't think of any other way. I want to be careful not to break our marriage up because it was never like this for the first 5 years and I just want to go back to how we were. I dont do any drugs (and never have or will) I am a normal girl from a good family and this is the last place I thought I would find myself ... I am so sorry this is so long but I am clutching at straws here to try and get out of this mess. Please can anyone offer any advice? xxoo

Does anybody have experiences in addiction problems? My DH has always smoked weed, to which I have (stupidly) turned a blind eye. The new problem that is surfacing is an addiction to ice. Its getting worse and he wont stop. I have been pleading with him to stop for the sake of our family and it is happening still. Like once or twice a week. The drug makes him weird and it makes me physically sick looking at him chewing his jaw and acting strange. Of course it makes me angry and upset that my pure innocent 6mo daughter is under the same roof when he is like that. He comes down terribly about two days after use, and becomes an angry nightmare. He is not abusive towards me, just angry. Right now I am at my mums because he came home high again yesterday. This has all started in the last 6 months or so and it is destroying our life. I love this man so much, he is my everything but this addiction has just taken hold of him. He is a different person. I have kept it a secret all this time and finally through many tears I have told my mum. She was shocked and sad that I waited so long to say something. I just dont know where to go from here. Can there be a happy ending? I want to help him overcome this, but I think I need to involve his family because I cant get through to him on my own. He would never forgive me if I told his dad, but I just can't think of any other way. I want to be careful not to break our marriage up because it was never like this for the first 5 years and I just want to go back to how we were. I dont do any drugs (and never have or will) I am a normal girl from a good family and this is the last place I thought I would find myself ... I am so sorry this is so long but I am clutching at straws here to try and get out of this mess. Please can anyone offer any advice? xxoo

I've dealt with addiction with people in my family with friends and an ex. The one thing you have to know and you can't take it personal is that nothing and no one can make them get clean if they don't want to get clean. There is an underlying issue that has made him reach out to a new and dangerous drug. There is something he is trying to make go away. My advice would be to schedule an intervention. Contact a drug abuse counselor who has done them before and meet with them. Find a rehab that he can check into that you can present to him at the intervention. Definitely get his father involved. Him ring mad about him knowing is because he knows he is doing wrong and fears the disappointment his father will feel towards him. Also you need to find a support group for loved ones of drug addicts. I would also advise you to stay with your mom. Things can get unpredictable when people are using they can become incredibly paranoid which in turn can make them dangerous. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope everything gets better. Please don't blame yourself this is not your fault.

I've dealt with addiction with people in my family with friends and an ex. The one thing you have to know and you can't take it personal is that nothing and no one can make them get clean if they don't want to get clean. There is an underlying issue that has made him reach out to a new and dangerous drug. There is something he is trying to make go away. My advice would be to schedule an intervention. Contact a drug abuse counselor who has done them before and meet with them. Find a rehab that he can check into that you can present to him at the intervention. Definitely get his father involved. Him ring mad about him knowing is because he knows he is doing wrong and fears the disappointment his father will feel towards him. Also you need to find a support group for loved ones of drug addicts. I would also advise you to stay with your mom. Things can get unpredictable when people are using they can become incredibly paranoid which in turn can make them dangerous. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I hope everything gets better. Please don't blame yourself this is not your fault.

As an addiction counselor, it's important that you first take care of you and your child. After that, you can attempt to talk to your husband (while he's not under the influence) about your concerns. Set some boundaries, and follow through with them. For example, if you're unwilling to seek help, I will be forced to inform your father. Just remember, you can't force him to do anything - this is sometimes the most difficult part for concerned family members. They often want to " drop off" the individual for help - doesn't work like that. You could always help to find treatment options, such as NA, outpatient, etc. My advice is he's better off receiving treatment sooner than later. As far as taking care of yourself, search for local Al-Anon meetings - helps you to cope and teaches you how to be healthy in the relationship.

As an addiction counselor, it's important that you first take care of you and your child. After that, you can attempt to talk to your husband (while he's not under the influence) about your concerns. Set some boundaries, and follow through with them. For example, if you're unwilling to seek help, I will be forced to inform your father. Just remember, you can't force him to do anything - this is sometimes the most difficult part for concerned family members. They often want to " drop off" the individual for help - doesn't work like that. You could always help to find treatment options, such as NA, outpatient, etc. My advice is he's better off receiving treatment sooner than later. As far as taking care of yourself, search for local Al-Anon meetings - helps you to cope and teaches you how to be healthy in the relationship.

To tell you the truth. With ANY drug, even weed. People will NOT quit unless THEY want too. It sucks. I've had many family members on drugs, and some still on. They won't get help until they want it. I I were you I'd talk to him when he isn't high. Make sure he knows you and his daughter will leave unless he stops.

To tell you the truth. With ANY drug, even weed. People will NOT quit unless THEY want too. It sucks. I've had many family members on drugs, and some still on. They won't get help until they want it. I I were you I'd talk to him when he isn't high. Make sure he knows you and his daughter will leave unless he stops.

To tell you the truth. With ANY drug, even weed. People will NOT quit unless THEY want too. It sucks. I've had many family members on drugs, and some still on. They won't get help until they want it. I I were you I'd talk to him when he isn't high. Make sure he knows you and his daughter will leave unless he stops.

To tell you the truth. With ANY drug, even weed. People will NOT quit unless THEY want too. It sucks. I've had many family members on drugs, and some still on. They won't get help until they want it. I I were you I'd talk to him when he isn't high. Make sure he knows you and his daughter will leave unless he stops.

Hi Hun saw ur post on the Aussie board.My DH had addiction to pain pills two yrs ago. First off I went Alanon meetings to get help for me and it helped me understand his addiction. I set boundaries and eventually kicked him out to a detox place and said he can't come bHome and use. It was heart wrenching Anf took him 5 detox Nd rehab and going to aa and na meetings but He has been clean two years now. Nothing I did mattered in the end he got well when he was ready and got bad enough to want to fix it. I told his family as I didn't want it a secret and they were very supportive. He didn't need to be abused or gotten angry at he was sick not a bad person. You both need support.We had a happy ending but it was the hardest time of our lives. Please make sure u get some help first for your and your Los sake And no matter what remember u will b ok. Xo

Hi Hun saw ur post on the Aussie board.My DH had addiction to pain pills two yrs ago. First off I went Alanon meetings to get help for me and it helped me understand his addiction. I set boundaries and eventually kicked him out to a detox place and said he can't come bHome and use. It was heart wrenching Anf took him 5 detox Nd rehab and going to aa and na meetings but He has been clean two years now. Nothing I did mattered in the end he got well when he was ready and got bad enough to want to fix it. I told his family as I didn't want it a secret and they were very supportive. He didn't need to be abused or gotten angry at he was sick not a bad person. You both need support.We had a happy ending but it was the hardest time of our lives. Please make sure u get some help first for your and your Los sake And no matter what remember u will b ok. Xo

It makes my heart hurt that you are going through this, and I hope that everything works out for the best. You should know that this is not going to be easy. My mother started doing drugs, first weed and then crack, when I was very little. I can't remember how many times I gave her the ultimatum "If you don't clean yourself up you'll lose me.", but it never worked. The other posters are right when they say that NOTHING and NO ONE can make your husband change. HE has to want it for himself. BUT that does NOT mean that you should sit by and wait for him to want it. You need to set boundaries. I am happy to tell you that there IS hope! My mother has been clean for over two or three years and we're currently working on our relationship.Bottom line - protect your child and yourself.

It makes my heart hurt that you are going through this, and I hope that everything works out for the best. You should know that this is not going to be easy. My mother started doing drugs, first weed and then crack, when I was very little. I can't remember how many times I gave her the ultimatum "If you don't clean yourself up you'll lose me.", but it never worked. The other posters are right when they say that NOTHING and NO ONE can make your husband change. HE has to want it for himself. BUT that does NOT mean that you should sit by and wait for him to want it. You need to set boundaries. I am happy to tell you that there IS hope! My mother has been clean for over two or three years and we're currently working on our relationship.Bottom line - protect your child and yourself.

To tell you the truth I won't quit drinking milk, until I want to. To be able to truly help someone with their addiction you have to have a basic understanding of addiction. Meth and weed addictions are 2 very different animals and needed to be dealt with that way. Meth is a monster that will physically keep him in the throes of addiction, and he has to hit rock bottom before he will seek help.

To tell you the truth I won't quit drinking milk, until I want to. To be able to truly help someone with their addiction you have to have a basic understanding of addiction. Meth and weed addictions are 2 very different animals and needed to be dealt with that way. Meth is a monster that will physically keep him in the throes of addiction, and he has to hit rock bottom before he will seek help.

I feel your pain. Although a different addiction, my husband started drinking heavily while I was pregnant up until our DD was 4 months old. The alcohol addiction became severe. He was hiding the alcohol and getting beyond drunk. We were constantly fighting and I was a total wreck thinking this was my life. I tried everything to get him to go to treatment. He always came up with an excuse. It wasn't until I called the police one night after he became verbally abusive. I was scared .. He was so messed up. I took our DD at 3am packed as much as I could and left. I told him we were done and he would need to go through the court to see our DD but I would demand his visitation was supervised. It was a wakeup call and he really what he would be losing. He went to intensive in patient treatment. He still continues treatment on a out patient level and goes to meetings as much as possible. So yes there can be a happy ending. He has been a wonderful father and loves our DD more than anything in the world. Obviously this is going to be an ongoing battle but I have total faith in him.
If your man loves you and ur lo he will get treatment too. If there's a will there's a way. Do some research and provide him options. It may take awhile but be persistent. It sounds like you really love him. If you ever want support or want to talk you and email me. I'd be happy to help you in anyway I can! Believe me I know how difficult it can be to deal with addiction.

I feel your pain. Although a different addiction, my husband started drinking heavily while I was pregnant up until our DD was 4 months old. The alcohol addiction became severe. He was hiding the alcohol and getting beyond drunk. We were constantly fighting and I was a total wreck thinking this was my life. I tried everything to get him to go to treatment. He always came up with an excuse. It wasn't until I called the police one night after he became verbally abusive. I was scared .. He was so messed up. I took our DD at 3am packed as much as I could and left. I told him we were done and he would need to go through the court to see our DD but I would demand his visitation was supervised. It was a wakeup call and he really what he would be losing. He went to intensive in patient treatment. He still continues treatment on a out patient level and goes to meetings as much as possible. So yes there can be a happy ending. He has been a wonderful father and loves our DD more than anything in the world. Obviously this is going to be an ongoing battle but I have total faith in him.
If your man loves you and ur lo he will get treatment too. If there's a will there's a way. Do some research and provide him options. It may take awhile but be persistent. It sounds like you really love him. If you ever want support or want to talk you and email me. I'd be happy to help you in anyway I can! Believe me I know how difficult it can be to deal with addiction.

I have no direct experience with spousal addiction but just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this! If you love him as much as you seem to, you may have to do whatever is necessary to ensure his wellbeing and get him help, even if that means going to his family. I wish you all the best!

I have no direct experience with spousal addiction but just wanted to say I am sorry you are going through this! If you love him as much as you seem to, you may have to do whatever is necessary to ensure his wellbeing and get him help, even if that means going to his family. I wish you all the best!

I agree with everything PP have said. I just want to add that Ice changes people dramatically & often with serious consequences. While you're deciding what to do next pls don't go home & pls pls limit his contact with your LO, as I have seen first hand what can happen when someone is under the influence. They often become different people & don't see things in reality anymore. GL ceebee I hope you can get through this with your partner, but if not then you still have your special LO xoxo

I agree with everything PP have said. I just want to add that Ice changes people dramatically & often with serious consequences. While you're deciding what to do next pls don't go home & pls pls limit his contact with your LO, as I have seen first hand what can happen when someone is under the influence. They often become different people & don't see things in reality anymore. GL ceebee I hope you can get through this with your partner, but if not then you still have your special LO xoxo

Okay first of all, ice (meth) is a HORIBBLE drug. Weed can be overlooked as it does nothing to alter the mind set other than maybe making you a little more lethargic and hungry. Meth can and WILL consume a life. He may only be using twice a week now, but it will get worse. I have watched many people I love including my own dad battle this drug. The only thing YOU can and should do is get you and your child out of the situation. I don't care if he's the most gentle person you've ever met when he's sober, meth will completely change a person. The drug itself combined with a lack of sleep is a deadly combo. You are naive and selfish to be worried about "saving you're marriage" while you have an innocent baby involved in this. Giving him an ultimatem will not make him stop, it will make him lie about it. Do what's best for you're child and get out of the situation. If you really love him the way you say, tough love is what you should give. Do not sit back and enable the behavior. Leave him. There is always a possibility for reconciliation later on when he's clean. And if his dad ask why you left, you TELL him. As an adult, he should be able to accept responsibilty for his actions. Even if it means fessing up to his dad about his immature drug use. You should seriously read up on facts of meth. It's a very scary, very dangerous drug. Please do not allow this to go on and do nothing. I wish you the very best and good luck.

Okay first of all, ice (meth) is a HORIBBLE drug. Weed can be overlooked as it does nothing to alter the mind set other than maybe making you a little more lethargic and hungry. Meth can and WILL consume a life. He may only be using twice a week now, but it will get worse. I have watched many people I love including my own dad battle this drug. The only thing YOU can and should do is get you and your child out of the situation. I don't care if he's the most gentle person you've ever met when he's sober, meth will completely change a person. The drug itself combined with a lack of sleep is a deadly combo. You are naive and selfish to be worried about "saving you're marriage" while you have an innocent baby involved in this. Giving him an ultimatem will not make him stop, it will make him lie about it. Do what's best for you're child and get out of the situation. If you really love him the way you say, tough love is what you should give. Do not sit back and enable the behavior. Leave him. There is always a possibility for reconciliation later on when he's clean. And if his dad ask why you left, you TELL him. As an adult, he should be able to accept responsibilty for his actions. Even if it means fessing up to his dad about his immature drug use. You should seriously read up on facts of meth. It's a very scary, very dangerous drug. Please do not allow this to go on and do nothing. I wish you the very best and good luck.

honey, i dealt with an addiction problem myself. i was addicted to heroin and pain killers but pretty much did anything that was in front of me. i lost my marriage my daughter and all my close relationships. ended up with abusive criminals....it was awful. my parents finally got together and did an intervention on me. i now have 15 months sober....im back in my daughters life and am expecting number 2. it is completely possible to turn yourself around. have u considered an intervention? perhaps u can attend a few alanon meetings to get support and advice. but priority 1 is your child and an environment like that isnt safe. you could potentially lose her in a cps ordeal. so before $h!t hits the fan, get him some help....or get him out.... best of luck!

honey, i dealt with an addiction problem myself. i was addicted to heroin and pain killers but pretty much did anything that was in front of me. i lost my marriage my daughter and all my close relationships. ended up with abusive criminals....it was awful. my parents finally got together and did an intervention on me. i now have 15 months sober....im back in my daughters life and am expecting number 2. it is completely possible to turn yourself around. have u considered an intervention? perhaps u can attend a few alanon meetings to get support and advice. but priority 1 is your child and an environment like that isnt safe. you could potentially lose her in a cps ordeal. so before $h!t hits the fan, get him some help....or get him out.... best of luck!

He's putting his addiction before his family--don't do the same by staying with him! If you do, you're putting your hopes of him getting clean because it's what you want before your child. Just because you had a good, clean, five year history with him does not mean that is what you'll have in the future. Putting your child at risk by staying with him is as reckless as him putting y'all at risk.

He's putting his addiction before his family--don't do the same by staying with him! If you do, you're putting your hopes of him getting clean because it's what you want before your child. Just because you had a good, clean, five year history with him does not mean that is what you'll have in the future. Putting your child at risk by staying with him is as reckless as him putting y'all at risk.

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