Hi. We are a design/style LA based company specializing in mixing eclectic styles on moderate budgets. Also we have a strange amount of fun blogging about all our design and style adventures. Right now I’m happy to say that I’m Target’s home spokesperson, bringing accessible/stylish design to the masses.

A New Blog Chapter...

Our New, Happier Comment Policy…

As I was on vacation last week I did a lot of brain thinking. We went up to Sacramento, dropped the kids off with grandparents, and spent 3 days (and nights!) just the two of us at the most relaxing hotel, The Ritz in Lake Tahoe. It was amazing and honestly I haven’t felt that clear-headed in a long time. I could feel a shift coming on about a lot of things, and some are SO good. But if I am to clearly look at my job and life and figure out what gives me unnecessary stress (kids, for instance are necessary stress), then there is one thing that was just all of a sudden so easy to eliminate. And I feel a huge relief.

After 8 years of not monitoring or deleting comments we will now delete anything that is written without regard or respect for the human being/s who work hard to produce the content. It’s so easy all of a sudden. To be clear – negative comments, criticisms, and suggestions are all absolutely welcome – please don’t stop those. I love the dialogue and feedback is crucial to the progression and success of the blog and to me, personally. You’ve helped me become a better designer, writer (ha), mom, and person. I want to know what you like, don’t like, how we could be better, etc. You have opened my eyes and have expanded my world with your thoughtful criticism and intelligential dialogue. I really need feedback – good and bad, but with respect.

Hate-filled comments close me down. They make me less transparent and I become far less interesting and way less funny (plus nauseous, anxious, and riddled with vulnerability, etc). I find myself not wanting to write the posts, not taking risks, and just apologizing over and over with so many disclaimers trying to reduce the backlash as much as possible. Strangely the more honest and transparent I am (especially about mistakes and money), the meaner the backlash – but by only a few people. It’s confusing, for sure, but I have to listen to the 99% of you who want that and not the 1% who make me feel like garbage for whatever vulnerability I’m displaying that day.

So here is a good method: If you have a criticism of us you feel compelled to write then pretend that an 8 year old, someone who is just learning how people should behave in the world, will read your comment out loud in front of you. If that makes you uncomfortable then perhaps rephrase it. I think this is probably a great way to go about life, actually.

Even though it’s just a few of you, there is too much power in that negativity and despite me not being particularly sensitive (I couldn’t have this job if I were), the effects are latent and long-lasting.

IT’S VERY GOOD NEWS 🙂 Look how happy I am –

I already feel SO MUCH BETTER. We implemented it last week and while there were only a couple comments deleted before I could read them (which is the goal) it meant that I could click on ‘comments’ with excitement, not fear. We now run a cruelty-free blog and ironically by censoring the hate, I feel WAY more free to write.

But listen, if you find yourself wanting to leave mean comments all the time then perhaps you should find someone else that better inspires your life and style. I’m clearly not the right fit for you, you aren’t that into me, and frankly the feeling is mutual. There are other sites (or bridges) that haters can troll with the sole purpose of hating – they’ll be happy to have you 🙂

Sorry it took me so long to do this. I felt that by censoring you I was taking some of the open democratic nature of the blog away, but I’m not. Just weeding out the hate. BUH-BYE!

Now to those of you who are not compelled to be mean (which is most of you), thank you so very, very much for all the support, positivity, and encouragement. Thanks so much to those of you who have a criticism and know how to phrase it in a way that won’t make it feel personal or disrespectful. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you. If I offend you I WANT TO KNOW, please don’t think this is me wanting just positive comments. It’s not. You mean a lot to me, and I want everybody to feel happy when they come here (including me :))

I feel like I have the most engaged, positive, open, and intelligent group of people reading and commenting on my blog in all of the internet. You open my eyes to so much and have made me look at myself and my life in a more macro way. You help me see other sides, you help me expand my bubble, and you may not know this but many, many brands and companies read your comments to help understand this super valuable demographic – YOU. The fact that we can debate in a friendly way about politics, race, and religion is truly remarkable – let alone parenting, feminism, design, and style. Besides, you’ve help make some VERY good design decisions and suggestions on my house – I really do need you.

Thanks for all your support and positivity over the years, seriously, and cheers to a new more positive chapter to all of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xx

Me too. The hateful comments and barrage of responses became so stressful to read each day that I just tried to avoid the comment section. I’m really happy you’re making this decision because I was always a bit concerned that you might eventually quit blogging and that would be terrible!

So glad you are back! You have always been that fun, quirky, happy designer that I first started to follow on Design Star. That was a long time ago and your designs have matured so much. I still love them…they are fun. Here’s to the old, new you!

I’m so happy to read this! The hateful comments (not the constructive, respectful ones you mentioned) were bringing ME down and I’m a third party spectator and none of it had anything to do with me! which was totally confusing me and making me mad at myself because I’m emotionally and mentally stronger than that! (or so I thought!).

Emily,
This is such a healthy choice for you. This is also comforting to me because I am a high school teacher and with so many social media platforms, my students occasionally make hurtful comments about me that all the world sees. It nags at me for days and makes me shut down to all of them. To me (like for you too) I put so much of my heart into what I teach and am so open with them in my classroom that I feel their hurtful comments are a breach of trust. It blindsides me when I feel like my classroom is ticking along, students are smiling and laughing, and then someone shows me a Tweet that calls me a mean name or a parent insults me through email. I track back through my whole week replaying everything I did and said that could have triggered such cruelty. Then I proceed through the next several weeks verbally disclaiming everything in class (like “I was just being sarcastic everyone…or “your essays were really excellent and don’t take this personally, but we need to work on thesis statements some more”) and waiting on pins and needles for more. Anyway, thank you for showing me that this is a problem that even amazing, kind, and talented people that I admire struggle with too. You don’t only just inspire me in my home but in my completely unrelated-to-home- design profession as a teacher.

I had kind of the same experience my first years teaching– a bunch of really mean comments from seventh graders literally sent me into therapy. Since then I’ve started a new job where I actually have public online reviews posted of my classes… And I’ve NEVER ONCE read them. I actually am fairly certain they’re generally glowing, and my classes are extremely popular and test scores are very good. I focus on the more subtle ways to receive feedback and just insulate myself from the stuff I know might make me distracted and depressed. It works for me and I’m a better teacher because of it!! If we listen too much even to kind and well meaning feedback, I think we stop hearing our own under voices… At least if that inner voice is as people-pleasing and easily self-critical as mine 🙂

Thanks, guys. I think from being on TV and having a healthy enough self-esteem, blah, blah, i really thought that I could handle it. And honestly monitoring comments also takes a lot of time that I didn’t have. But they just got meaner and meaner and more personal and honestly just by a few people (I know because I tracked them through the backend -despite using different names and fake emails). I think having kids has a lot to do with it, too. They don’t need their mom sad or stressed about strangers being mean, if she/i can control it. I can’t control a lot of things but I sure can control this. xx

Okay, this certainly explains a lot of what you were dealing with. Using fake emails and different names (presumably from the same IP addresses) is surely a sign that you are simply an instigator. Anyone who is leaving honest feedback/criticism (even if it isn’t always perfectly phrased) doesn’t need to change their name/email to try to hide behind it.

And another thank you here! Can’t stand the haters, even when I theoretically agree with something they might be taking issue with. If you have that much hate about a blog, find another!!

That’s exactly how I felt about it! I’m in the UK, I’ve never met you, never seen you on TV and the only things I know about you are what I’ve read on this blog but I was waiting for you to say that you weren’t going to carry on with it as you seemed so sad. It felt like most of your confidence had gone 🙁 I’ve recently cut down on the amount of blogs I follow and most of the other ones on my list are very different from yours so I guess I just love your writing even though some of the subjects aren’t necessarily what I’m 100% interested in. Glad you found a way around it, seems like a really good solution x

So shocking! Why would anybody be regularly mean to you? It makes no sense. You’re right…if they didn’t like you, why would they keep coming back? I can’t understand it. I always wondered why you let yourself be so exposed to unproductive negativity. I definitely support this choice. You have a lot of people who depend on you, and you can’t afford to be distracted by unnecessarily hurtful comments. I should go away and see if there is something stressful I can delete from life that I am not seeing now!

I check out your website from time to time when I want to get inspired. I never bothered with the comments because I assumed they were just trolling little spammers.

I’m glad that you got rid of the doofuses in your life. Controversy is great for publicity, though. The doofuses were trying to take you down a notch but instead they probably just drove more engagement and traffic to your site. Living well is the best revenge! Keep creating and inspiring the haters to hate! ; )

Beth, I don’t know you, but thank you for teaching. As the grown daughter of a public school teacher, I know how hard you must work. Teaching is the most noble profession, yet, the salaries rarely reflect that. Peace be with you sweet Beth! Continue fighting the good fight!

Beth stresses a related and very important topic: your blog needs comments (in fact, I think the success of blogs is dependent on the number of views AND comments), but more and more occupations are now open to public reviews (and comments) that were not in the past. I am a lecturer, too, and I am also hurt by some comments of students. Especially when they can write things anonymously, some of them can be very mean and personal. It is such a pity, because most of the students like my classes, but the few mean comments can change the way you feel about your work. I don’t think some of them even realize their comments can be hurtful: they could just write ‘boring!’ in the reviews. I know that some students might find the things that I teach boring, when I was a student I also found some classes boring. Everybody does. But nowadays, the students can leave reviews of the classes and the lecturers are compelled to read these (they are sent to you).
My point is, that you Emily, can (and should!) control these, but a lot of us actually can’t. And the hard part is, we often didn’t even ask for them. So, there is a bigger, contemporary problem: how do you deal with hurtful comments now that more and more occupations are open to (anonymous) reviews and comments?
Maybe a blogpost? 😉

I love this idea! I would like to know not only how to deal with criticism personally (or how Emily approaches dealing with criticism), but also as a person living in this new age of public reviews, how to make sure I am contributing in a sensitive, positive, useful way. I would love to be able to give better feedback.

I think this is a brilliant policy. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t implement it either, although I get why (I think) you didn’t. Just remember that deleting hateful comments is not the same as squelching disagreement. Those of us who are here all the time appreciate what you do (even when we don’t agree). Frankly I don’t like reading the hateful comments either, so you are also doing the rest of your readers a service. 🙂

I come to this blog for the design advice and inspiration but WAY more because I ADORE your voice and your stories and your struggles…PLEASE keep writing. As good of a designer as you are, you’re also a fantastic writer. (From one to another…)–Liz Krieger

This is an excellent policy! And your suggestion for how to approach comments in the first place is perfect – hopefully more people will begin to think about how what they write would sound read out loud by a child before they post it.

YAYYY!!! I’m so glad you are enforcing this, and so glad you have someone else censoring the hateful comments, so they don’t impact you. Recently I have noticed a shift in your writing, riddled with apologies and disclaimers. I 100% understood why you started writing that way, but it made me sad to think of how nervous and self-conscious you must be to feel the need to apologize. Because that is not YOU! You are proud of who you are and confident about your choices, so I hope the real you comes back, because we, the 99% love the real, honest, human YOU.

Thank you. I had a long-time reader come up to me recently and say ‘I feel like lately you’ve really needed a hug’ and then she hugged me and I cried (as I am right now) and I thought ‘how sad that people who have never met me can sense that I’m feeling defeated’. That’s shitty. That’s not the vibe I want to give off at all. although, honestly I will probably always give more disclaimers than anyone else in blog-land. Its like I can’t not and always have. But I hope to feel less inclined to give off that apologetic vibe … thanks so much for your support. xx

I may be in the minority, but tbh I don’t HATE all your disclaimers? Of course I don’t want you to feel anxious about writing for us, but I also feel like you’ve always acknowledged when a design decision is questionable, or expensive, or whatever. I don’t know exactly how to explain it but it just feels like part of your real, casual, conversational writing voice and it’s something I love about your blog. Does that make sense?

I totally get that. I think it’s the being aware which lends itself to a disclaimer. Which is nice becaues it acknowledges those who are reading. I think of the disclaimers more as a – hey I live in LA where the costs of labor are more – are okay. I think most of us appreciate that transparency.

I think this new policy is awesome and I totally agree about noticing the huge increase in disclaimers and feeling bummed for you and the blog. Some disclaimers are good, because they help clarify what you mean and avoid alienating people because of misunderstanding, but when you’re writing whole paragraphs of disclaimers instead of a sentence or two, something is wrong! Love you and can’t wait to see your future posts.

I support you 100%. Last week I gave you a compliment and it resulted in you getting berated by other people. I was so depressed reading the follow up comments. I am so happy that you made this change. It was spreading negativity in the world because when I read nasty comments on your blog I would picture a super ugly person living in the worst home with bad lighting. I want to come here and fill my mind with beautiful images not ugly people.

I also think as the owner of your design firm you have a responsibility to protect your team. I own a business and when I read the hateful comments directed towards your team I thought they needed to be protected. Your team supports you and therefore you need to protect them like a momma bear. I love that you are giving them the power to delete the hateful comments.

If we are cleaning house can we also edit (not delete their entire post) the grammar police people. Let’s be honest nobody likes a grammar police.

I say this to everyone in my life: If you are happy I am happy, therefore, this post made me sooooooo happy!

AH, thank you. I wonder which comment you made that attracted that? I still haven’t gone through too many of the comments from last week but plan on it. Thank you 🙂 And yes, re the negatives towards my team. Totally agree. xx

I am a grammar police person (even though I make errors myself all the time). Could you note the grammatical change that is needed and then delete the comment? I’ve commented on the grammar a few times but that’s because I have so much respect for this blog that I want the copy to be it’s best. I don’t need my comment to stick around though…

So, clearly I’m into grammar. Don’t know why that’s offensive though? I agree that there should be a way of letting you know without being a annoying. I realize you’re a designer and so writing may not be your best suit, but I just cringe when I see wrong grammar. I want to help you! And I feel like it’s anything else – when it’s wrong, you call it out. Otherwise you’re saying it’s right, when it isn’t. I want my kids to grow up in a world where grammar is appreciated, not because I say so but because it is actually worth something. I think that even if you don’t LIKE grammar you still use its basic rules, and so should appreciate its intrinsic value?

I am also an English major and a professional writer and, frankly, grammar police comments annoy me. It took me a while to understand this but grammar policing is often used to silence people. Unsolicited grammar corrections imply superiority: “I know better than you – ha!” Or, “Your message is invalid because you don’t know the difference between ‘that’ and ‘which.'” I mean, I occasionally make grammar mistakes and this is my job. It happens.

Communication, in all its forms, is complex. There are certainly times when grammar errors compromise the message, but that is rarely the case here. Language has life beyond its rules and Emily’s blog is a perfect example of that fact.

Thanks Renee! I realise I am more anal about this than the average person, so I appreciate the explanation. To be honest it was only when I met my husband (who is Spanish and learned English in his teens) that I became much more sensitive of varying degrees of comfort with English use and appreciation. Where I’m from, there is a derogatory word people call you when you can’t speak English properly!

I would respectfully disagree on one of your points though — I think you’re implying that Emily’s blog is just “daily life” and therefore good grammar isn’t 100% required. However, this is her job too; she’s a designer AND a communicator. There are many amazing designers out there, but Emily has built her following on being approachable both in design and demeanour. If all designers took the time to communicate like Emily did, they would be much more successful I think.

As a communicator, grammar is important. This is part of her portfolio. I’m not asking her to change her style — for example, starting a sentence with a “but” isn’t technically correct, but it’s a style thing and follows on from how we use English on a daily basis. However, surely a misspelled word could be (and should be) easily corrected. “It’s” and “its” are definitely not the same thing (“it’s” = it is, just as “you’re” = you are).

Grammatical errors distract me from the intended message, because I then stop to work out what she actually meant. You don’t have to be absolutely 100% grammar perfect, but just the basics would be reasonable to expect, I would think.

(Also, I note that my previous comment — written on a mobile, in my defence — has an extra “a” that I am itching to edit out!

I have never left a grammar police comment before but I do appreciate them. For me, loads of bad grammar is a sure sign that a writer should not be writing (which this blog has NEVER had). Grammar is super important and has been pushed under the rug a bit in the past few years. I am all for the policing and appreciate those helping all of us speak and write better!

Emily, please let the grammar police continue with their comments. They are coming from a place of love for this blog and trying to help. I really do understand the argument of being annoyed by those comments, but deleting comments that annoy people seems like a very big can of worms.

Anna, I definitely don’t think Emily minds too much about the grammar comments, but to shed light on your genuine curiosity: grammar isn’t a strong point for everyone, especially those who struggle with literacy and spelling. While corrections are appreciated when necessary, like on a resumé or paper, correction after correction in daily life can feel defeating. I struggled with literacy for ages, but then got my masters and had to defeat that struggle. My general rule is if the point is clear, regardless of grammatical errors (like its vs it’s) I leave it be, but if something is confusing or loses its overt meaning, a grammatical clarification is very helpful. -Just a thought from someone who used to be very self conscious (and thus reserved) about her writing!

Part of my job is being an editor and, for her audience and medium, Emily is actually a great writer. It’s probably a huge part of what carried her to where she is today. I think the expectation for blog writing to be perfect has changed as “blogger” became an actual, full-time career option, but Emily’s approach seems to have remained a little more laid back.

As someone invited to edit for a specific organization, I couldn’t imagine sending unsolicited edits to another organization or person, so maybe that’s why the concept of grammar policing has always seemed odd to me… But que sera sera. I expect this will be something Emily will feel out as part of her new comment policy. I just didn’t want her to see the comments and think “God, they’re debating over whether or not it’s ok to edit my *terrible* writing.” It’s not, Emily, haha. Trust me. I’ve seen… things. May you shed not a single tear on a beautiful throw pillow over it.

Katya – 100% with you – grammar corrections are so often used to silence. In another life I was a copy editor, so every time I see an error here I can’t help but grit my teeth. Then I remind myself of my first boss, who opened our initial training meeting on editing fiction by saying “There’s a reason that Robin Williams’s first act in Dead Poets Society (the title of which itself contains a painful punctuation error) is to have his class tear up a parody of E.B. White’s ‘Elements of Style.'” Emily is an amazing writer, her staff are amazing writers. There is so much more than interior design here – humor and serious wisdom (the marriage advice alone is no joke – the pregnancy/airplane parallel made me almost cry with recognition). This is raw, fun, serious, interesting stuff. Yes, I obviously think everyone in the world could benefit from a copy editor, but ultimately the writing is all that matters. And this is some baller writing.

I held my breath for a moment there – I thought you were closing comments! When people are helpful or constructive I love the comment sections here. It’s been very helpful regarding home upgrades. I’m glad you can lessen your stress load though. It’s so very important to do that.

I also would like to add that people who have knowledge or any level of experience pertaining to that day’s post are so helpful in the comments section. Reading your posts daily is the best and I LOVE the engaged readership that adds to my education in interior design and style. I’m happy for you making and executing this decision and for the rest of us who see the comments section as an additional resource to our Style by Emily Henderson experience. You’re the best, Emily, and you deserve to be treated that way!

Good for you! I love stopping by the blog to see what you and your team are up to. I can’t imagine how hurtful some of these comments must have been. No-one should be subjected to that at work (or anywhere else for that matter)!
Thanks for letting us come along on your journey.
Peace and blessings.

This will make it so much more productive and interesting to engage – when we don’t have to constantly defend against or buffer negativity but can have real discussions (with real disagreements). Good move. Incidentally, my husband works in a totally different field but had a person who was just spreading poison, and everyone was afraid to confront this person for fear of being mean or censoring personalities. But my husband called this individual on it, reduced their responsibilities until changes could be made, and the person just left. The whole atmosphere of the workplace changed – people feel free to share ideas, to make suggestions, and have an air of joy and excitement instead of worry and anxiety. It was amazing to see the difference, and totally worth the firm choice to say no to unproductive negativity.

Lake Tahoe looks gorgeous. Great decision. I check your blog daily and really enjoy the thoughtful content and predominantly positive comments. I don’t like when I feel the need to defend EHD or a commenter from an overly aggressive, mean-spirited remark in the comment section. Let’s all continue to be overly friendly:)

If this makes keeping the content flowing, then I am all for it! It’s got to be so hard to be so public / vulnerable / open (I’d imagine). Before this policy, this blog was my happy place – I don’t see how this policy would harm that or make it less authentic given that respectful criticism is still welcome.

I never comment, but I have to say I am so glad that you are doing this. I sometimes scroll through the comments here, and I have been surprised at how negative I felt like they were becoming. You were clearly becoming more apologetic in your posts, which I felt like actually empowered and “justified” the negative posters. I know that whenever I think something negative of someone or make a negative comment, it is 99% of the time because I feel bad about myself or something in my life (consciously or subconsciously). So, it makes me really sad that people are feeling so terrible as to post such hurtful things. But, truthfully, I was starting to not read your blog as much because the vibe had gotten so uncomfortable. You seem like such a kind person who doesn’t take your success and things for granted and who truly wants to engage with people in a thoughtful way, and that is really important to have in the world now. So, thank you for being so brave and putting yourself out there!

Wow, thank you. Yes, I think I was giving permission and now I taketh away 🙂 Also one thing I always tell myself about the cruel comments are ‘Hurt People, Hurt People’. Something is clearly up/wrong in their life to want to tear down mine. That’s interesting/sad that you felt that the vibe had gotten so uncomfortable. I thought it was just me. Well, its fixed now!!! Sorry it took me so long (there I go apologizing again… :)) xx

I’ve been doing a lot of personal work lately with a group of like minded women. The most incredible, life changing skill I learned (and am continuing to hone) is creating healthy boundaries. By minding them, we gift ourselves the most important thing — self preservation. Our fearless leader has a mantra which is “in the PAUSE is where we have our POWER and FREEDOM”. By gifting ourselves those boundaries, we create healthy spaces for us to thrive and grow. You have done just that!!! I’m so happy you didn’t allow others to bring you down — to cause you to stop doing something you’re so gifted at doing. Remember that it’s them, not you. You are amazing and your people are here to support you Emily!

Your blog is on my bookmarks bar and I check it almost daily. A couple times I have seen those cruel comments and was surprised that it upset me too. Even later in the day I would think about it. Was worried that it would discourage you from posting content that was authentic to you. Glad you have found a solution so you can continue to do what you do!

I love this! I only regularly follow a few blogs and it always amazes me when there is a repeat commentator who is just a total ball of hate. I feel bad for those people because I can’t imagine their lives have much happiness in them if they use their free time to hate on bloggers. I see the same thing in regular life on facebook. Some people I am friends with will comment negatively on a weight loss story, or photo of a baby in some baby carrying sling that they don’t approve of. Get a life!

I’m glad you implemented this new comments protocol. You are trying to put all of this happy, beautiful knowledge, advice, and admiration for design out into the world and 99.9% of us really appreciate it. Do I love every single detail of every project you post, or every outfit to post? No, but we aren’t the same person and that’s fine. I wonder if the 1% trolls are furious right now lol.

P.S. Can I come sip wine in your new backyard?? You are awesome, keep it up!

Thank you for making this decision, and kudos to you for doing so without apology. Lately there have been so many mean, personal, hurtful comments (I’m looking at you Hannah! Her comment seriously had me upset on your behalf for days), and I really feared this blog would go the way of Young House Love. I think your new comment monitoring policy will make us ALL happier in your little corner of the internet. Cheers to the EHD team!

So happy for you and just had to say how necessary this is! Your transparency is what makes this blog interesting and full of your personality. It would be heartbreaking to watch you pull back from fear of comments/backlash. I love reading about the good, bad and the ugly of interior design, motherhood and marriage!

No more apologizing for the life, talent, family you were are blessed with. There is an overwhelming amount of proof that every minute, resource and energy goes into supporting others. Whether through content, mothering or simply being an uplifting leader and boss! We need more of you in the world and you shine brightest when you are not afraid to be entirely YOU!

Wise and kind. There is a difference between feedback that matters and nastiness that shouldn’t. You bring a lot of joy to my life, so as a reader, I wouldn’t want to bring hurt to yours. Thank you for being you in a public space so we can have the opportunity to share in your talents and adventures!

Congratulations on making such a positive and healthy change on the blog! It takes bravery to say that you aren’t going to put up with hate. I understand that this new policy will make it easier for you to read comments, but I also think the change will encourage other readers to comment who might not have in the past.

I always feel so bad when I’m reading your blog and you have to explain yourself in so many different ways just to keep from getting such hateful responses. This is your space to say what you feel. You shouldn’t have to apologize for being human. I just love your openness and honesty so much. Along with your incredible style and content, that is what brings me back day after day and I’ve been following along for almost 6 years. Love to you and your team!

I’ll never understand repeat hate commenters. WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU ALWAYS HATE EVERYTHING? And you’re so right. Negative comments aren’t the problem (they fuel conversation and growth). It’s the personal attacks, the unnecessary ugliness, that make you feel less than. You’re fabulous and amazing and a complete and utter inspiration. We love you Emily!! Keep rockin’ it out!

Yes, but sometimes EHD loyalists can be really mean when they misinterpret a thoughtful critique. I think it was last week there was a lovely comment about how much the reader loves the blog, gets the mom-to-two-toddlers thing, but didn’t love the post (maybe it was the neutral paint post?). Really, it was so kindly worded and, to my eye, beneficial to EHD in terms of reader interests.

But my god the vitriolic responses to that gentle post from the loyalists were unfair, uncalled for, and unnecessary.

There is a difference between outright meanspirited and unnecessary comments and thoughtful criticisms.

I agree, sometimes Emily’s defenders make things worse giving both relatively innocuous comments and truly negative comments more space than they warrant. The comment space becomes all about the so-called negative comment rather than Emily’s original post. So culling some of the really nasty stuff will hopefully address this.

I’ve seen a few hateful comments but most of what I’ve read have been this. Any kind of dissension results in vitriol from these staunch supporters. It seems they don’t understand that disagreeing with someone doesn’t equal “bullying”. Truthfully, I enjoy the back and forth of people and the drama of it all. I live a boring life. I love the content of the site and I’ll come back to read that once a week or so. But I don’t think the comment section will be very interesting if it’s all just special snowflakes patting each other on the back. (Which of course, I’m happy for you if what was here was stressing you out. Life is too short to give energy to people who drain you.)

I’ve noticed a bit of what can feel like a “mob” mentality – the mob I imagine being those who seemingly have a lot in common with Emily. My life has some different challenges than faced by this group, so it can hurt to see dissenters shouted down. It takes courage to share your thoughts with strangers.

That phenomenon in the comments had led me to swear off reading this blog at times. I’d find myself thinking – Emily is making money from sponsors so if people aren’t countered every time they share opposing views, maybe it is because it is important for her to show her advertisers that all of her readers love absolutely everything she writes. (I am not sure if this is the type of comment that is “beyond the pale.”)

Having said all of this, I do like the content very much and appreciate that Emily shares parts of her life story on this blog. In fact, I think her opennness inspired me to dare to share my own thoughts online, something that I had done very infrequently and reluctantly previously. I am always assuming that I am one of those “toxic” people that every works so hard to avoid, but not at all because I want to be! I’d like to make an appeal to show compassion to the “toxic” – we are people, too. Speaking of compassion, I don’t want Emily to suffer at all and hope some balance can be struck that allows for a thoughtful exchange of ideas.

So true. I commented once on here to point out a clothing issue (which I hemmed and hawed over because I am not that outspoken of a person but felt like I had to…i.e. If my skirt is in my underwear please tell me even if it is uncomfortable for us both). The defense attack that followed by one person was out of proportion and uncalled for. I feel like if Emily and her team needs a body guard they’ll let you know, until then simmer down everyone.

Yay for this decision! As a reader, I can certainly tell the difference between criticism and a hate comment. I too learn from the former but get upset by the latter. I think with social media and the possibility of hiding behind a screen society has further lost its tenuous hold on common decency and manners. Thank you for bringing those values back to the comments section of your blog.

Bravo for this decision! I personally don’t think of it as ‘censorship’ to remove hateful comments – it’s your blog and you’re still encouraging dialogue and a variety of opinions, so really, it’s just a healthy, smart thing to do. My personal style is fairly different to yours and your team’s, but I still visit the blog every day for your distinct voice, the personalities of you and your team, and helpful roundups- I don’t understand why someone would continually visit and take time to comment if they have so much hate for it? I don’t spend too much time in the comments, so [luckily] I haven’t seen too many of the hateful ones, but whenever I have I agree with others here that it’s upsetting for me to even read, and clearly exponentially worse for you and your team. Glad you won’t have to deal with that anymore.

Good for you! It gives me anxiety to read the comment section of blogs. I just don’t get it. If someone doesn’t like a post just move on. Who has the time to sit and type out a mean comment. I hope this feel like a weigh being lifted!

This is amazing! I am so proud that you made this decision for yourself. First and foremost we need self care. Haters can go somewhere else! You have an amazing blog that I LOVE reading because I feel like I can really tell who you are. You need that! Great decision!

I’m happy to hear your peace of mind has won over trolls. IMO, anyone who verbally assaults another is less interested in the message you aimed to send and more interested in unleashing that side of themselves. Meaning, it isn’t you; it could be anyone. This is an amazing site and you’re doing a wonderful job.

YOU GO GIRL! there’s no need to let the haters stamp all over your sunshine. #sorrynotsorry to see them go. and totally agree with you: if that’s how they’re spending their days, they need to take a serious look at themselves. onward and upward!

Good for you Emily! I often read the comments and it’s so nice to see the majority of your readers being positive and engaging with good questions. It does feel like a community. We don’t need that negative stuff! Big hugs!

I am so glad you are doing this. I love reading the comments as much as the content, but the mean ones are unbelievable. And it’s not just your blog. It’s really sad. You and your team are great! keep up the great work.

It’s much easier to pull someone down than it is to lift them up! So glad you have made this decision. It was getting really uncomfortable to read some of the awful things people said. Just mean and in no way constructive or helpful.

I really, really never understood the “[this particular type of post] really sucks, can’t believe you think its good because it’s crap, and you are dialing it in, blah, blah, blah” posts. You have many different types of posts because, you know, people are different and like different things. If it isn’t a type of post that you enjoy – stop reading and go to the next one. You know, like a magazine way back when you would just turn the page. You didn’t then whip out a “you’re stupid” letter to the magazine editor because you didn’t like an article.

Well done! I have to say that as a reader, hateful/hurtful comments really detract from what is otherwise a positive, funny, inspiring & educational reading/viewing experience. I suppose some people just can’t feel inspired by others’ success and positivity and will always feel somehow “less than” in the face of it. The only thing that makes them feel better is thinking that they can somehow chip away at that person’s work product and ultimately, their confidence. It is smallness and pettiness and cruelty and a great blog such as yours will be even greater without it.

One of my favourite things about your blog is your transparency about money. I love to look at potential homes on real estate sites, and now I realise just how expensive a bathroom “upgrade” can be, or that designers can make mistakes/change their minds too. It brings me back to reality.

Finally! I wish more popular blogs would do the same. Nasty, personal-hate type comments have lead to many bloggers leaving or slowing down, and it’s ridiculous. We wouldn’t tolerate that type of behavior in our homes – don’t tolerate it on your “home” on the internet, either!

Fantastic! I’ve been noticing a shift in a lot of the blogs I read, some of which I’ve been following for almost a decade, towards content that is less and less personal and vulnerable. It is so hard in this age of anonymous, ubiquitous commenting to keep putting yourself out there. You, on the other hand, have one of the most personal blogs out there (along with excellent design content), and your voice, humor, and humility are what keep me coming back for more. No need to throw yourself to the wolves on the daily 🙂

Good for you! I was starting to notice the disclaimers (chalk-not toxic) and felt it was because of the possible backlash. It’s sad some people feel they need to judge everyone. 🙁 I’m a fourth grade teacher and I’ve noticed kids have gotten meaner. I can’t help but wonder if this change, this attitude of “it’s okay to be mean” has to do with the Presidential election we all just witnessed. 🙁

This is so lovely! I’ve even wanted to comment lately to send a little support against those apologies and disclaimers. But it felt weird to say “I, a total stranger, am worried that you’re too hard on yourself.” You come across as a kind, thoughtful, down-to-earth person who genuinely thinks about others. That is rare, and refreshing, and part of why I read your blog (along with awesome design and cute kids). I don’t think you need to beat yourself up, and I KNOW no one else needs to beat you up. Bravo!!

Wow, this is Such a smart move! And to be honest, it makes it more enjoyable for your positive readers. If I glance over the comments and see something mean, it makes ME nauseous, and it’s not even my blog! Here’s to happy comments from here on out!

Fantastic! What a great decision for you, your team and your readers. I delight each weekday in reading your blog entries. There’s always something new to learn or something old to appreciate in a new way.

Yes! It’s far too common these days to be effected by “anonymous” people on the internet, thinking they can hide in plain sight. Thank you for making your blog space a respectful and productive one, even though it requires more work.

I just love your blog, your talent and your outlook on life. As you have said “perhaps you should find someone else that better inspires your life and style. I’m clearly not the right fit for you, you aren’t that into me and frankly the feeling is mutual”. There is far too much negativity in the world to read nasty posts on your site. Bravo, keep on being weird.

I’m so happy about this for you and the blog and for me 🙂 I rarely read any blog comments anymore because it made me so uncomfortable to come across such random, unprovoked, and mean-spirited comments. Thanks for working to create a safe place for us to engage with each other.

Yeah! I also support this 100%! It is like standing up to the bully and saying, “It’s not okay to treat me like this!” It makes this space better for us all. You have such a funny, honest, kind, creative voice that shouldn’t be stifled.

I think this is absolutely the right choice for you. , I tend to think that people who are constantly in the public eye like yourself can just ignore stupid commenters because you’re used to it (like you said in another comment), but you’re just another human! And you’re an especially sensitive, emotional person who puts a lot of herself on the internet every day. That’s a vulnerable place! Trolls stink, and if you could trace multiple commenters to the same IP address, you know they were just there to stir up trouble.

I do think I’ll miss chuckling at the more creative insults, though… I never would have come up with “dress like a blind clown” myself! (PS I wholeheartedly disagree with that person. I was shopping in Target last week and literally thought to myself “what would Emily wear?”)

Bravo!! I have never taken the time to comment on your blog, but I follow it and your Instagram. I am not a comment reader, simply because I want to digest the inspiration without the dialoge of everyone’s opinion. That being said I applaud you for shutting down the bullies, mean comments for the sake of being rude, hurtful, etc really don’t have a purpose in life. They are not inspiring! Keep up the outstanding work!

Awesome new policy! Just a question for clarity: Won’t you still have to read the bad comments in order to delete them? Do you have team members looking at them first or does the computer vet them out? Glad we wont have to see them now 🙂

Good! Why on earth should you put up with #%&@ IN YOUR OWN SPACE? It’s like inviting people over and having them be rude. They don’t get to come back. You don’t need it, I don’t either. Let’s be positive!

So happy about this decision!! Hooray! PRODUCTIVE comment threads enhance the blog and as a reader, they supplement my overall enjoyment of the content (on a good day), but honestly, I’ve recently stopped reading the comments because of the mean people out there who are always looking to tear others down. So bravo to you for making this happy place so much happier!!!

Dear Emily, good for you! I just last week asked Dan Rather to start weeding out the haters on his posts. Connie Schultz does it and her comment threads are actually readable and enlightening. I have felt really sad seeing you tie yourself in word-knots, preemptively apologizing to malicious readers and my heart hurt for you. I am so happy for your epiphany.

I LOVE THIS DECISION!! I love that you had such a fantastic, head-clearing vacation. We all have enough stress and negativity in our lives, you don’t need to read mean people’s comments just because they’re unhappy in their lives! You keep being you, Emily, you’re so great at it! xoxo

Yes! I’m so so glad you are doing this. It’s hard to read the hateful comments some people write on this blog, it just seems so unnecessary and frankly infuriates me. Why do they read your blog then? Glad you are taking care of YOU so that you can continue to create great content (because I selfishly want that 😉)!

I’m glad you’ve made a decision that will help reduce your stress, My gut reaction was, “no! don’t censor! we want to see it all–the good, bad, and ugly.” But this is YOUR blog, and you’re entitled to do with it what you will, so I say good for you! Hopefully this is a decision that makes your life better and the dialogue in the comments more meaningful (or just fun). Would you mind clarifying something, though? Is the process that someone who works for you will get a first pass on the comments and will delete anything disrespectful before YOU review them and engage with readers? So, while someone obviously has to see/monitor them, it won’t be you? Just curious. Thanks!

On another blog (baby strollers) where I was the problem poster (I think I had too many questions) the blogger reviewed (screened) all my comments before posting them. I didn’t change my name or email to circumvent anything. I thought the duly stem was fair and it trained me to go look up additional questions on the product site.

I understand. I’m asking about the process as it relates to Emily herself. Will Emily be reading negative comments and deciding which ones don’t make the cut? Or is the whole point for her staff to catch them before they make it onto the blog, so that when Emily logs on to review comments, she never even has to see them (generally speaking).

Thank you Emily for helping us ALL remove some of the negativity from our lives! I truly believe there is power in positive thoughts and words and I am always inspired by your ability to smile, laugh, and truly try to find happiness in every situation.

This is fantastic! Cruelty free blog! I wish you would publish an article on some of the hate-filled diatribe and commentary people choose to write. it would be amusing to see it all in one place! Well written post and you are likely thinking “I should have done this a long time ago!” Let’s ignore the trolls and advance love and support!!!! HUGS!

Awesome Emily and Team! Thank you so much for taking this step. I applaud you all and am very appreciative of all your content and hard work. It is easy to read a post, it is hard to produce one (countless hours of researching, editing, shooting, re-editing, and coordinating with teams, sponsors and brands). Thank you! Also, quick side note: I am using your vinyl tile post as a guide for our next building project. I never knew there was such a variety. Many thanks for that post and to Brady who stepped up to be a guinea pig in his apartment kitchen for it!

Bravo! I love your writing, your style, and your blog. Reading comments has become a “no-no” for people who like to have boundaries to protect their mental health. Thanks for keeping your comments positive and for keeping your critics constructive, not hateful.

I really appreciate this post. I haven’t been reading for a while because I was really turned off by some of the political commentary—I visit sites like yours to get away from all of that. Perhaps I will tune back in.

Good for you! Being mean says so much more about the person writing or saying it, but the impact it leaves still stings especially caring and sensitive people that try to never hurt or offend. One expression I’ve heard, “hurt people hurt people.” Thanks, Emily for sharing your talent, insights, humor, and home. Here’s to common courtesy!

What the hell is wrong with people that they have to be mean and cruel about anything online… much less on one of the happiest places on the internet. (Ie your blog)

I first found you years ago when searching for blue velvet sofa online- as I had wanted one since about 2008…(I finally got it in 2013) and ever since then, you have always been my fav designer anywhere. I think you are the only person in the world I would let decorate my house with no input from myself.

Which says a lot considering we just gutted a whole house and I was anal down to the light switches.

This is a great idea and I hope that it will reflect in your writing because I think your writing is stronger when you are not so apologetic (not every blog post has to be the most amazing thing ever, and I would have loved the “draft posts” a lot more without the explanation about them being drafts and why you didn’t want to publish them). As an employer it is also important to provide a harassment free work place for your staff so I commend this decision.

Awesome! I will never understand how someone has the time to hate read a blog AND leave mean comments. Time to take a good look at your life if this is how you choose to spend your time. Keep up the wonderful work!

Bravo Em! Self care requires that we respect ourselves and avoid places and people who are a danger to our peaceful life. Your decision takes courage. It also indicates your benevolent nature because you pondered and fretted over this decision to exclude hurtful people. You may even cause them to reconsider their actions.
Maybe.

This is great! Taking care of yourself is always a good thing!! I stopped reading comments as the mean ones were just hard to read. I especially thought the ones about grammar mistakes quite petty. We are all human and we can all be more caring and supportive and less judgmental. Bravo for the new policy!

What a beautiful way to phrase your comment guidelines. I think that we would all be much better off if we interacted in a way that was teaching the world, not scolding it. I love your content, writing style and realness and that’s what makes me keep coming back!

Finally! Because you know what, horrible shitty comments just being down the whole atmosphere anyway, even if you aren’t the writer, it just makes you feel shitty even for having read the shitty comment. So for that I say:
Good for you!

This is my first time commenting. To Emily and every single person on the EHD team — keep up the good work, and be especially proud for taking charge of your collective mental health by enforcing this simple rule. In particular to the person on your team who has to moderate the comments and delete the nasty ones — my extra best wishes to you!

Emily, you are a freaking role model for me. So good of you to do what feels right, what makes you feel RELIEVED, as you say. I want to do that more often in my life. Now, if only Youtube would start deleting plain rude comments from the trolls of the internet.

Emily thank you. You make the world a better place and say what people often think. Congratulations. You deserve every happiness and as little stress as possible. Good luck in all you do. You are a ray of sunshine and a beam of fun and positivity in a sometimes grey world.

All the yes. Reading some of those nasty spiteful comments made me really feel for you. Deny the nutbuckets their audience and maybe they will go back under their rocks. We can hope huh? Tahoe looked gorgeous by the way.

Good for you!! As an avid reader (though a rare commenter) I’m always inspired by your honesty about the real life stuff. I love the design and advice (especially LA/Los Feliz-specific advice because I’m in the same ‘hood!), but your honesty and openness is what makes this site truly special! Total support in weeding out the negativity! You got this! 🙂

I find it weird that people get “offended” by your content…it’s design, fashion and sometimes life choices and whether or not you find them inspiring or lack-luster, offended is a weird response. They should think on that. Also, I don’t have children but a 3 year old still seems like a toddler to me, so toddler away…it doesn’t offend me. 🙂 Your transparency in your house and the cost of it should continue without fear and I’m glad to hear it is – hate free. I am not in your spending category, but can take inspiration from what you do which is the point, correct?
Hat’s off to you, Emily and team!

Way to go! I agree! What happened to basic respect and kindness toward others? We need that more than ever! As I tell my elementary-aged students, “MAKE it a HAPPY day!” Emily, you’re the best! Have a HAPPY day!

I’m so happy you did this. Differing opinions and constructive criticism are extremely valuable but mean spirited, snarky comments have no worth, no thoughtful perspective. I’m especially frustrated when they derail a discussion and make themselves the focus of the comments section rather than what had been posted. They’re not only emotionally destructive, they also stifle creativity and informative discourse. Thank you for keeping the conversations on point, inspirational, and productive.

This makes me think of my new favorite saying that Kristin Bell recently related from her therapist: “honesty without tact is cruelty.” That has really stuck with me because there’s just no need for words to be needlessly cruel—and criticism is only effective when it’s constructive (hence, the saying “constructive criticism!”).

So yay for making this a place that breeds positivity and constructive feedback. Love it. Keep up the great work, Emily!! xo

Way to go, Em! I really dislike the headboard/footboard and that’s what got me clicking on the comments in instagram. And that’s ok because it’s not in my house! I have always supported censoring comments, ALWAYS. It’s your blog, not a public space – it’s a private space. It is time we bloggers stopped enabling trolls. It’s just ridiculous. Way. To. Go.

Hi Emily, longtime reader, first time (I think? Been too long.) commenter. Thank you for taking this approach and not backing down from being vulnerable instead. I so appreciate your frank and candid take on life. Your posts have helped me put words around my own parenting experiences and your design content has shaped every decision about every room in my house– you inspire me to take chances and make mistakes in design. Thanks for the openness and thoughtfulness in everything you produce. Keep on keepin’ on!

Excellent! I rarely comment but have followed you since the beginning. The hateful comments made me stop reading that part of the blog, which is sad. I enjoy the dialogue and the respectful criticism, as a way to gain perspective. So happy you have taken this simple step to alleviate unnecessary stress!

Good for you Emily! Negative, mean spirited comments online need to come to an end. It seems to be the way that people are venting all of their negative “stuff”. It’s easy to do when you can do it anonymously and hide behind that.

I support this wholeheartedly. Some people just want to spread poison, and they can do that elsewhere. (But seriously, why??) It’s so important to feel free to express yourself. Haters gonna hate, but they can keep it to themselves.

YES! Thank you so much for this! There is so much hate, anger and judgment flowing from everywhere these days. It makes me sad for not only me, but for my kids…and everyone really. I’m SO GLAD to have a safe space like this of beauty, happiness, light and love. Keep up the amazingly positive work! You’re slaying it, mama!

My small blog gets very few unknown people commenting, but I still get a hateful troll now and again. I always delete. There’s enough ugliness in the world, and they can take their free speech elsewhere. I’m glad you’ve chosen to do this!

Emily, I feel like you are such a dear friend, even though we haven’t met. I want to give you a big hug for this inspiring courageousness and wisdom! Thank you for sharing your journey of self-awareness and boundary setting. I 100% understand where you are coming from (including the welcoming constructive feedback) and support your decision! Much love 🙂

I love this and you, so glad to see you take a leap that will not only improve your anxiety over reading comments but also ours. Reading those comments ruined my day too and I’m relieved to know they aren’t welcome anymore. Thanks Emily!

AHHHHHH this is such good news. I’ve been following you for years (even in the BTDUBS phase) and I’m so glad you’re going to unfilter your thoughts more often again! I found your writing genuinely piss pant funny and recently, although the content is amazing, I just don’t lol as much. GOOD. FOR. YOU Emily. Hurrah x

HUZZAH! It’s important to ME that YOU feel free to write your blog. I’m guessing that’s, as you say, how the 99% of all of us feel. I’m glad you came to this decision because (to paraphrase) when you’re happy, we’re happy! xo

I’ve unfollowed a lot of great bloggers/instagrammers because of so much hateful comments, I couldn’t believe it! So I’m SO HAPPY you have decided to set these boundaries, it’s not only good for you, but good for your readers, so THANK YOU. No one has time for hateful unhappy people.

I affirm, affirm, affirm you! I’ve found the haters zero in on the vulnerable, honest, real things that people put out there because it hits a nerve of insecurity/vulnerability within them, and perhaps the only way to keep the little wounded-and-honest voices in their heads quiet is to try to quiet you and yours.

GOOD FOR YOU EMILY HENDERSON!!!!!! I have enough rage for real problems in the world–crappy comments were bringing me DOWN and I got so stressed out thinking about how you were dealing with it. Also worried you would just pull the plug on this lovely blog–the last and only one I read anymore!! You made THE BEST DECISION. For you, your sanity, your team, and frankly the rest of us (the 99%). Just spiritually high-giving you so hard. Me personally–I got no more time for nasty. I want pretty houses and kindness 💜

So that pic of you and b hen — pure joy! (Time without our littles is as precious as time with them!)

This is my favorite place on the whole internet — full of humor creativity kindness intellectual convos — and how this the cruelty feee internet. Way to bring the class yet again, em. Anyway yo reduce stress while inducing creative expression and collaboration is a total win. As someone who reads through the comments basically every day, thank you! Brava!

Good for you. No need to constantly live in fear or frustration. You don’t deserve that crap. People can choose not to read or keep their comments to themselves. Remember, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all! Thanks for putting your life and style out there for us!

Good for you! Just because you are willing to listen to criticism doesn’t mean you have to open yourself up to internet bullies. They exist only to influct harm on others, not to provide constructive feedback. And while I don’t typically read the comments section, so I don’t know which grammar police comments are being referred to, basic grammatic & spelling errors do irk me on blogs. I see them as a professionally written platform and feel they should be edited as such. Although I’m not one to be the grammar police and leave comments about errors, I can understand where they are coming from. Keep on doing what you do, even if it’s not always my particular style or budget, I still enjoy the content you put out. <3

Cruelty free! That’s how we should all live our lives daily. Good for you, Emily! I had to laugh at myself because I had to look up the word “intelligential” I thought it was a typo and read it like I was a 12 year old boy 🙂 Thought it had something to do with genitals (embarrassed?, Yes, thank you.)Thanks for teaching me a new word!

You are my favorite blogger and the only one I find the time to read. I have a toddler and I’m pregnant, so I rarely have time but you are worth it. You inspire me, you’re amazing, and I wish I had 1/10th of your positivity and radiance. Thanks for being you!

Good for you! Like many commenters (commentors??), I’ve never understood the people that take time to read a post and then comment to tell you how much they hate it. If they don’t like the content, go elsewhere. Good-bye to all the haters!

I, on the other hand, am a huge fan of the Emily Henderson brand – love the blog so very much, love the book and *sigh*, still miss your amazing show on HGTV. Keep up the good work team!! 🙂

Yay!! This is great news–I don’t want to read that $*#! either! I am always inspired, surprised, and wowed by your posts. I was worried that the reaction to some of the criticism would be for you to back off, post less, be less transparent. I’m so glad you chose the other path and I look forward to reading your blog daily, as usual. Thank you!

And by the way, if you look like a clown then I do too, because I have purchased a number of shirts and pants that you have featured on your blog. Thanks again for the style inspiration.

I feel like someone has maybe posted this quote in a previous comment thread, but it feels so appropriate for this occasion that I’m compelled to share it:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

You are so brave for putting yourself out there every day and you personally inspire me to be as vulnerable and authentic as possible in my daily life. We love you Emily!

THIS. Firm believer in “You don’t like me, I don’t like you, so let’s just break up.” Your posts are delightful and your photos are often times quite dreamy (see anything regarding your beautiful new patio and backyard). I find myself imagining how I can work with you on my next house all the way in Texas! This was a great decision! Excited to see what your inspired to do moving forward now that you’ve shaken the haters 😉.

I generally don’t agree with deleting comments in an open forum, but this is your space and I support you making a choice that brings more joy into your life 🙂 Its not my habit to read comments (I stick to your awesome posts!)

“…if you find yourself wanting to leave mean comments all the time then perhaps you should find someone else that better inspires your life and style. I’m clearly not the right fit for you, you aren’t that into me, and frankly the feeling is mutual. There are other sites (or bridges) that haters can troll with the sole purpose of hating – they’ll be happy to have you 🙂 ”

Oh Emily, I’m so sorry that you even had to write this post! I totally know how you feel though and those negative comments sting to the core! Hopefully this blog can continue to be a safe place for you where you continue to share all your current favorite projects!

Brava, Emily! I’m so glad you made this change. I’ve been reading your blog for years and what I love most about it (besides your great taste) is that you are different, bold, and honest — as all truly creative folks are.

Also, banning cruelty from your blog is not the same as shutting down discussion. As another blogger used to say to his meanest commenters, “start your own blog.” It’s a big wide internet out there and if folks want to make comments that aren’t welcome here, they’ve got a million opportunities to do it elsewhere. You’re not telling them what they can and can’t say; you’re just saying “You can’t act like that in my living room.”

Stay weird, Emily! You’re such a shot of joy in my day and I hope you keep creating beautiful things and showing them to the world for a long time!

Your transparency is what brings me back to your blog over and over. Thanks for sharing real life with us. It’s so depressing that this is even necessary but I think I should start a troll-removal company. I’ll delete all the bullies on all the blogs! (By the way, your blog is not a democracy! You get to do whatever you want AND you don’t even have to explain it to us! Delete the haters!)

That’s fabulous.
It’s really sad to see comments where people write the most hateful things, and it’s everywhere you look. I think this is a very strange place to vent misplaced anger. Life is too short to be full of hate, jealousy, rage.. etc. and to take it out on someone else, who actually does exist (and is providing you beautiful content to boot)!
..Write the negativity in a journal. Go on a jog. Scream into a pillow! Unleashing hate on people, even behind a screen is wrong, no matter how you look at it.
I wish more sites would follow suit to encourage a constructive and humane dialogue, instead of an opportunity for someone to get negative attention, writing the most heinous things. <3 Nothing but love for EH!

I will never ever understand why anyone has the need to write mean things on a blog (or anywhere else, really). So I completely support your decision. Btw, I live in Oregon (Roseburg) and am in Eugene lots, and lived for years in Sacramento….how have we never met??? Lol.

Emily,
Thank you SO much! The negativity and the hate are much more difficult for you of course but it also makes many of us, myself for sure, feel awful too. People are entitled to their opinions but some people just want to be negative and hurtful to make themselves feel better. Not sure how that actually works but who cares, they are GONE now!

You keep moving forward! And while I may not always love every iota of your projects, I appreciate all of it and especially how much you truly put of yourself into it every step of the way!

Wow that one comment maybe a month or so ago about you needing a pedicure made me want to climb through the screen and give a good shake (let’s face it…slap) to the angry person who wrote that. So glad you’re doing this!!!

Love this!!! So happy you are cutting out negativity. Your blog is always so positive, inspiring, and uplifting…it was always confusing why people felt the urge to be hateful, hurtful, or just unnecessarily negative. I agree that the grammar police comments are not needed. Super annoying. Thanks for all the daily inspiration and kudos for such a positive change! xo

So glad you are back! You have always been that fun, quirky, happy designer that I first started to follow on Design Star. That was a long time ago and your designs have matured so much. I still love them…they are fun. Here’s to the old, new you!

Thank you so much Emily! I wish more bloggers would do this. I can only imagine how mean comments affect you and your employees, because as a reader they bum me out (and I’m not even the target). Your labor of love is then overshadowed by the comment section. I personally don’t want to waste my nap time peace and quiet by reading mean spirited comments. I want to relax and be inspired. For those of your followers that miss the mean spirited comments, I am sure that there are plenty of parenting FB pages they can join that will itch that scratch.

I’ve only followed your wonderful work on Instagram, and was surprised that you have a blog as well. It’s really true that disrespectful, trolling comments can take a toll on us in the long term. Even the trolls themselves suffer from their own negativity. I honestly don’t understand why they do it (and so consistently as well!). You took the right step forward!

May our lives be filled with positive vibes, and may we all strive to leave positive vibes to others as well. Thank you, and I appreciate you sharing these beautiful home designs with us. Really inspiring & help ease my stressful days!

Good for you! It’s your life and if someone can’t find something nice to say or something negative in a NICE way, then their intentions are not engagement- their intentions are “enragement” and nobody got time for that! 😁

So happy that you are choosing this route. In the past when there has been a lot of negativity in the comments, I have read through it all, in solidarity with you. It is hard to understand that instinct to damage others.

Whatever keeps you doing the wonderful work that you do and whatever keeps alive that sunny attitude that shines through all your work, please keep it coming…

Your team is great. I send your Orlando posts to a friend and he loves them. Best to you.

YAY! I just had butterflies of excitement for you & your team. I’m sure you all will do a great job sorting out the mean and keeping a democratic feel to the comments section. So, so happy you made this decision AND that you feel good about it!

Screw the trolls! No one deserves that! You have a great blog and negativity only takes away from it (the 99% percent doesn’t want to read that either). I recently got a new apartment and I can’t tell you how useful some of your funiture roundups were. I purchased multiple pieces I found on your blog. Thank you.

Bravo! Never feel less than for saying what you need & asking people to respect those boundaries! I, for one, love your blog & your (not so) effortless California style. The colors, the light, the fun mix of retro & traditional…very fun & comforting. Keep up the good work. I may not always read a whole blog post; but I still love seeing all the photos. ❤️

I avoid reading comments, whether it’s on a blog, or Facebook, or wherever. I didn’t know you were being trolled. But your post brought tears to my eyes, because I get where you’re coming from. I used to be a regular contributor to a social media forum. I posted various creative efforts. A number of people would post how much they enjoyed my work, but a few posted hateful comments. I blocked them, but then new accounts would appear out of nowhere and start trolling me. It was kind of obvious that the trolls were creating fake accounts to get around the blocking. When I no longer had the energy to block and report, I left the group. I’m convinced that people who do such things are dealing with some sort of unhappiness in life, and bringing others down offers them emotional relief. Logically, you shouldn’t let these people get to you. And yet, they do. In spite of that old saying about sticks and stones, words can do some serious damage. You have every right to do whatever you need to do to make blogging a happier experience. I enjoy your blog, and I’m glad you will continue with it.

This is so inspiring, Emily! So happy for you and kudos for standing up for your cruelty-Free blog. Love that! Love you too! And I always look forward to being inspired by you and your amazing talent each and every day. I believe in lifting others ALWAYS and I wish you only the best. So glad you’re back 😉
Thanks for being so real and thanks for being the beautiful, talented and inspiring YOU! 💕

You are such an inspiration, Emily! So SO happy for you and kudos for standing up for your cruelty-Free blog. Love that! Love you, too! And I always look forward to being inspired by you and your amazing talent each and every day. I believe in lifting others ALWAYS and I wish you only the best. So glad you’re back 😉 and loving this beautiful change you are making, which I’m confident will lead others to do as well.
Thanks for being so real and thanks for being the beautiful, talented and inspiring YOU! 💕

YES YES YES!!! We/society need so much more of this approach. You can’t please all of the people of the time. If you try, you just end up diluting your message. People are allowed to have an opinion but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your content! Well done for bring so brave!

With you 100%. This is YOUR blog, and much like you wouldn’t let just anyone into your home, you don’t have to let everyone into your blog world. Your turf doesn’t have to be a democracy. We come here to read and see you. There’s enough drama in the world, and a design blog is not where I’m looking for my drama. Cheers sister! Happy for you!!!

I am SO happy you made this decision. I never comment but love your blog and when I started reading all that hate, I couldn’t believe it. I can’t believe how people complain about your blog, when is at the level that it is and it is free. I feel that reading your blog is like reading a magazine everyday and I know the amount of work you guys put into each single post. So, enjoy this new chapter!

I have one additional pitch for you, which someone else may have made (I don’t have time to read all the ones above) and that is that you ban comments about comments. I don’t mean people having a dialogue with each other via your comments section. I mean the comments that are like “I can’t believe all the other commenters like this, I don’t like it!” OR “I can’t believe all the RUDE comments!!!” Meta-commenting is not productive. It does not advance the dialogue. I’m sure I’ve done it before but it is Bad. It often serves to put a spotlight on negativity (as in the latter example) or dress up negativity in better clothes (as the former). I’m behind on the blog but when I was better at checking, I felt like sometimes the outcry over particular comments was way oversized and just served to pour gasoline on the fire and make it into a bigger deal than it needed to be. Often, people’s intentions are good with meta-commenting but they can derail the conversation even worse than the haterz. And if you have people moderating the comments, people shouldn’t feel the need to police and respond on your behalf.

After we started doing comment moderation our really out-of-bounds comments went down 10 to 1. It taught me that those really crazy comments weren’t written for US, they were written to cause drama with other commenters.

You’ll be happy you did this! The genuine critique will still come through and you can actually learn something from it.

Good! Why on earth should you put up with #%&@ IN YOUR OWN SPACE? It’s like inviting people over and having them be rude. They don’t get to come back. You don’t need it, I don’t either. Let’s be positive!

Who even has time for negativity. This is awesome! Also- I love it when you are vulnerable and mention any kind of learning process you go through. Hello! Free lessons from a pro! Love what you are doing. Keep it up. Thank you for allllll your efforts- you make my life brighter!

Excellent idea! Just READING mean comments stresses me out; I can’t imagine being on the receiving end of it. I never comment, so while I’m at it, I’ll throw in a big thanks for all the great content. Your work is inspiring, you always make me laugh, and you and your family seem so sweet. You deserve all the nice things that come your way!

Good for you! [First-time commenter here.] Emily, I adore your blog. It is one of the few (we’ll, the one one, really) I read religiously. I’m inspired by you and love your practical, positive, fresh approach. Lately I’d notice your prefacing a lot of thoughts with unnecessary apologies and disclaimers, and I am SO GLAD you are feeling more liberated in your writing. Go get it! And to the haters, yeah, “BUH-BYE!” Love from MN. Erin <3

But this isn’t a democracy. It is YOUR blog. YOURS. Which means you get to make the calls. Congratulations! I just hope someone else is doing the moderating going forward so you don’t even have to see it.

Dear Emily,
Good on you! There is no reason to allow cruelty to have a place in a blog about creating a personal space to celebrate harmony, family, and community. And ohhhh your garden! Exquisite! No weeds need apply!

Good for you. I scanned the comments last week and was appalled at some of the ugly posts.

Now, as a positive suggestion for your to consideration, how about new content every other day? Or some schedule that suits you? I have a small blog (not design work, but avian photography) and I have published new content every Friday for over four years, and it is difficult to find something new to say, a different way to present material or even revisit an area. Churning out something thrilling and excellent and innovative every single day is madness. Just a thought.

Keep up the good work! I think you are handling this all so well and appreciate you sharing your talent with the world! It is SO refreshing to see people be 100% authentic. That is why I love Orlando and Brady’s posts in addition to your own. You rock at being you!

Yay! I’m so glad that this decision will bring more peace to you (and your stellar team!), as well as to all of us who genuinely love reading your blog. It was super stressful to see the haters and I found myself starting to quickly scroll through the comments instead of diving in like I used to. I get a kick out of my fellow readers and also find the back and forth of various opinions, when respectful, to be helpful in expanding my own thoughts about everything from wallpaper to parenting. I’ll throw my voice in with the 99% in sending lots of support on this!

I’m so happy you’re doing this! It always made me uncomfortable to read any excuse or disclaimer you would make about what you spent or a choice you made! You shouldn’t have to censor your life because you’re afraid! I love the honesty and that’s one of the things that makes your blog so unique! If you splurged on something you should be able to celebrate and know we’re happy for you and to live through you! If your feeling busy and overwhelmed you should be able to express that too without fear of haters who want to knock you down!

I am so proud of you! I live for all things interior design and you are one of my favorite designers. I have been following you since Design Star and I have enjoyed watching you evolve. You are one special lady! Keep up the good work! I would rather not see politics discussed on your blog but that is your right to do so.

Kristin Bell’s therapist said, “Honesty without tact is cruelty” (I saw it on a show she was on). There is so much truth to that! I don’t think many people mean to cruel, but they really lack tact. It’s not a skill we teach.

Good for you! This world has enough haters and miserable people. Their negativity doesn’t need to be put on you, or anyone else for that matter. We are in a world where everyone just thinks that they can say what they want without filtering or thinking how hurtful their words can be. No. Everyone has a right to their thoughts and opinions, but not to use good judgement when speaking them us just down right being mean. I hope that by making this change, you are less stressed reading comment from those of us who want to build each other up!

Dear Emily,
I am a huge fan of your blog/style/portfolio and am always impressed with your design, even if it isn’t always my cup o’ tea.
It hurts my heart to think that a professional doing ‘good work’, ‘positive work’ on peoples most sacred spaces (their homes) would get that kind of backlash on their blog, and I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you. You should be proud with how you have turned an anxiety ridden task into a positive one.
We have all been there, gotten hurtful things said (or written) to them, and it is never easy – even when it is constructive. When it isn’t, well, that is just down right mean. Shame on those stupids for all the unconstructive comments.
Many of us believe in you and are in your corner!

Now I’m all paranoid that what I thought (and tried very, very hard to clearly make) a constructive thoughtful comment was the catalyst for this change, ugh. Which is probably not actually the case, but it did spark a few people chiming in and I’m usually totally silent in the comments so it freaked me out how much, er, engagement it got (in both directions). I <3 what y'all produce and I am glad you're taking steps to make the whole blog a happier part of your business! I can't imagine what it'd be like to operate at the traffic level you do; I have never run a business that gets serious engagement with anonymous strangers but the few times I've had a random tweet or whatever blow up and catch the attention of meanies, it's seriously tiring. I sincerely hope I didn't inadvertently become one of them. Keep on rocking the content and the inspiration!

Such a great idea, two other amazing bloggers I follow recently had revolting personal insults flung at them and I am completely disgusted. What you all do is inspiring and you shouldn’t have to deal with gross behaviour like this. Onwards and upwards lady 🎉🎉😍

I can not imagine anyone saying anything negative or mean to you, about you or your talents.
You stated everything beautifully.
i livevand enjoy your blog. I watched you win the hgtv challenge and knew you were going far. Cheers to you and the many peeps that continue to give us this blog.

Brilliant! I rarely comment, but felt compelled to on this one. As so many commenters have already said, the negative vibes were really getting felt. I could see it in your writing, and if your readers are even being affected by the negative stuff , how terrible for you! Well done! Your blog is not a democracy… It’s your way! And that’s why you’re loyal readers keep coming back!

Hallelujah! You are incredibly brave. First, I would never, ever invite strangers (or even my neighbors) to comment on how they feel about my home or garden or parenting. It is very challenging to take in so many opinions even when they are not vindictive and nasty.

Second, I can’t imagine of the rest of your readers will miss hearing from the trolls. If they do… there is still the whole rest of the internets. Just reading the comment section of the daily paper makes me just about give up faith in humanity.

Bless you! I hope this improves your life and the lives of all your readers.

YES to all of this. I am so happy you are instilling this and I think it’s the best thing for you and all bloggers to do. I have found blogging and interior design to be such a supportive community of people who all legitimately want each other to succeed. This is the environment that creatives thrive upon. The negatively does nothing but like you said, shut us down. I love your blog Emily, and so appreciate your transparency and humor. You gotta do you or the blog ceases to embody your awesome personality. Cheering you on every step of the way!
-Leah

i LOVE this. and i totally understand how that would make you feel anxious and not want to be as open and transparent. i think all websites with comments sections should do this. seriously. why give a voice to all the hate-mongers out there? i believe in freedom of speech to an extent. with the line being at hate-spewing.
good for you.

I have been contemplating writing my very first blog comment regarding this issue for several months. I firmly believe that we are here for all of us, and tearing people down is unnecessary and cruel. The creativity I see in all of your posts, even if the taste doesn’t match my own, is so very special and important to witness and support. These days we rely on bloggers for so much inspiration in all areas of life, and the risk-taking required of all content-creators should be honored and encouraged. Y’all are demonstrating the kind of growth mindset that will make an impact on the world, and I’m so relieved that you have decided to shut down toxic comments. I would actually be in favor of eliminating all comments, but I’m guessing the quantity of comments affects your revenue so you need them. Regardless, brava! The internet will be a happier, more progressive place if more blogs rid themselves of trash comments.

Yasssssssss this was so necessary! I’m so happy for you, like a lot of other commenters I was so worried you were going to quit blogging! Which would be crazy because you are so so good at it, your content is so amazing and yet a few people were clearly getting you down!

So, so happy with this change. I can’t wait for you to be happier too 🙂

Good decision! I have seen comments directed at you that were cruel and abusive. One particularly awful, because it was framed as a compliment. But it was amazingly insulting, to the point I felt sick reading it. No one should have to put up with that. This is your workplace, and we are all enjoying the lovely content you provide us, for free. And now it will be that much lovelier. Great that we can share ideas, opinions, design solutions in an environment that is supportive. How many of us were often afraid to do that before? Thank you!!!

Good for you! I am convinced that the nasty things people comment would never be said to someone’s face. I believe that differences can always be discussed in an open minded and respectful manner. (Unless you abuse kittens or something, that just makes you an awful person haha). 😜 Keep up the great work!

It’s so good you are taking a stand! I love the idea of phrasing things for an eight year-old. It reminds me of a Kurt Vonnegut quote that true genius should be able to explain any concept to a child that age. I hope you really will still welcome constructive criticism, because it is essential to growth and overall civic dialogue (which is all but gone in our country right now). Sometimes I’ve read the negative comments and they don’t seem as bad as the hundreds of comments that follow. Other times they are just plain rude. Communication is such a tricky human beast. Good luck and protecting your own happiness is to be commended!

We met last year at the hgtv bloggers party.we didn’t talk design or styling.we talked kids.which is more important than anything else. So forget the haters my mom had a saying,live your life forget about other people because when you die none of them are going to die with you to see what being dead is like.

#yougogirl I meant to write sooner but man, those comments also shut me down! I am renovating my first home and all of your content has helped to give me the confidence to go for it. The bean bag post, the herringbone floor education, those trees. I love it all. You’re an inspiration, shut that ish down! Girl boss power. Keep on!

Great job! I know the ads pay you for our clicks, but we don’t personally pay you the way a client does, therefore commentors shouldn’t be allowed to hate on your art in that way! And this blog is just as much your art as your design business, it should be a place you can express yourself and your creativity without being disrespected for it. And like others stated, I don’t want to read hateful comments any more than you do. Thanks for removing them!

I don’t always read your comments in your blog, but the few times I have, they have surprised me by the number of cruel comments. I love seeing different opinions written , but they need to be politely expressed. Good for you. I will start reading the comments again.

Good for you! Maybe I’m old school but I was raised to believe that if you don’t have anything nice to say then you shouldn’t say anything at all. This is a place where we get amazing design ideas and share our own ideas and thoughts about the content. Personally I would take it a step further and just block mean, hateful people altogether.

Yesterday I read mean comments about Jordan They stunned me. There was no justification for what a few people said. I hated reading them, they made me feel terrible. I wish it were possible for every post to follow your policy. Have a difference of opinion but hateful things add nothing. They tell you something about the person who wrote them, not about the subject at hand. Good for you, Emily. I think you are smart to do this.

Yay! This makes me so happy! You’re the best blogger out there and I cannot even tell you how much I appreciate all the time, effort, creativity and care you put into your blog every day. Nobody who works as hard as you and your team do needs to be the recipient of such hate and negativity. Good for you!

Love it! I agree….disagreeing on something is one thing…ripping someone a new one over colors or budget is rediculous! I was beginning to feel so annoyed by the trolls on your comment sections. I’m glad you will delete the stupidity. You are a really nice person and full of joy. It’s so hard to share creative work with true haters attacking you! It was hard for me to read their words and not want to attack them for you! Can’t wait to see how you could possibly improve on content and writing but if blocking those losers helps you be better then. I am excited!

Good for you and your team! I’m proud of you and standing up for your team and talent. This is a great example to set for everyone that writes a blog, promotes on social media or just uses the internet! I myself am emotionally drained and disappointed in those who put others down. I appreciate your stance!

Hi Emily,
I think this is the right choice. I like the constructive criticism comments from your blog because I learn from them too. But–I don’t like the unnecessarily mean ones either.
I like design as a hobby. I like to look at the work from talented designers and teams like yours.
But–I truly fell in love with your blog after the election and the fact that you started a wonderful dialogue that day. I don’t think I could have gotten through it without you. I live in a liberal bubble and it was so nice to hear other perspectives whether I agree with them or not just to see where other people were coming from about the election.
Keep up the good work. I like that you admit defeat and tell us how much things really cost. That way, when I am on my Target budget and I can’t quite get things to look like House Beautiful, I know why and don’t feel like a failure as a homemaker. “Oh–that’s because a custom patio costs $$$. Oh-magazine photo shoots and this blog is beautiful because it’s talent + experience + skill + money.” I am happy to support this blog and I hope it keeps making money so I can keep seeing the beautiful art being created here every day.

Yay! I’m so glad. I hate seeing when what meanies write truly hurt you. I don’t understand people like that and I guarantee they wouldn’t say those cruel things to you in person. I adore you and your fun personality and I’m so glad you are ridding yourself of unnecessary hurt. And that goes for your whole team! Xoxo

I love this! You have every right to take control of what comments on visible on your blog. I think it will be a great change, not only for your own well-being but for your readers as well. No one needs that kind of negativity in their life! I imagine that a lot of other bloggers will be following in your footsteps (I know I will — though I’m certainly not a big enough to garner any real hate comments).
Thanks for being such an inspiration in the way that you both present and live your life, Emily.

So strongly agree – regardless whether it is politics or design, Americans need to learn how to have different opinions without being nasty and hating each other. Glad to see you setting the tone here! Thank you.

Goooood for you!!! Hateful comments bring out the worst in people, sometimes those trying to defend you got nasty too and it was sad to see that happen. Why anyone would feel its ok to say hateful things to someone they dont even know, is beyond me…and from the coward safety of web anonimity! But that is over now, so thank you!!!!!

Hooooooray! I generally love to read comments, because I almost always learn something from your readers. However, the mean ones just ruin my day. I can’t imagine how horrible they must make you feel, and I was surprised you let it go on. You are very generous to share your expertise with us (I know you get paid, but still I think it’s generous to share), and neither you nor your team deserved that negativity. I applaud your decision.

Yahoo!!!! ❤️ Such a great decision. I once read this about troll comments: if someone came and shit in the middle of your living room, would you leave it there stinking it up? No. You’d get it out of there.

There is something about the internet that brings out the worst in some people. Maybe it’s because there is no consequences to the hatefulness. I think you are 100% right to make those changes. Just sad that you had to,

Though I’m a regular reader and follower, I rarely read the comments, so I had no idea this had been going on! How terrible! You and your team are such a delight, I am so dismayed that (some) people were being so cruel to you. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised – internet comment sections are often the seventh circle of hell. But on posts about things as light and happy as design and creativity… it just seems extra sad. I’m sure it doesn’t hurt any less, but remind yourself that those commenters must be truly, genuinely miserable in their lives to be so committed to spreading hate. That hate is all about them – not you. Delete with abandon, friend!

You know, you rock. You know that right!! I’m so sorry there were mean peeps out there…. where’s the heart people?!! But I wondered if something was in the air… I’ve been following your blog here, on FB, and IG since your show and I adore your being and zest. And as we as mamas know, those little kiddos can keep one busy, so for the last couple of months I’ve been ‘light’ on keeping up but now I’m finding the ‘me’ time again and enjoying the summer blogs. And in my return, when I’d happily visit your page, the sunshine in your eyes seemed shadowed, and now it makes sense. I’m so happy to see the rays pierce through again and see that the breath is ready to come out with full passion!!! You go Emily and let your designer girl do your thing!! Like I said… like we all are saying… you rock!!!

An idea: Is there a way that commenters on a post can delete their own comment or can you create a way so that that’s possible?

Sometimes I think that a comment might have a tone that the commenter might not even be aware of or intend but when he or she goes back & reads it, might regret the way that it was written but not have any way of deleting it.

I love this. Writing constructive feedback in a positive voice makes me think harder about the meat of what I have to say. Also, I don’t want to read what the jerks write. Thank you for taking a stand!

Emily. For years now, reading your blog has been part of my cherished nightly ritual. I brush my teeth, wash my face, get some water, and check in with you and your team. Your personality, tone, and authenticity leave me feeling inspired, uplifted, and strangely like I’m catching up with a dear friend all at the same time. As someone who looks forward to all of the goodness you share on a daily basis, I have to say that I so appreciate you and the way you give yourself to the world in this way. It cannot be easy to share your flaws, but man, do we need that. You are brilliant and undeniably hard working, and your genuine voice keeps me coming back every time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Great decision Emily! Glad you did it and I’m PROUD of you for taking this step. It’s hard to openly call out haters and takes courage to tell them that your platform is not the right space for them. Good on you and I hope more bloggers follow suit.

P.S. I’ve just been a lurker on here and your IG account but I love & respect this decision so I feel compelled to comment! 🙂

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I think you are WONDERFUL! I love reading your blog and following you on Instagram. I love your style and personality and how open you are. I am so happy you are making this change. You are amazing!! Keep on doing what you’re doing! Xo

It’s hard to believe anyone could be nasty to you. You seem like such a lovely person, offering good (and free!) advice that no one is compelled to seek or take. WTF is wrong with people? Glad you’re feeling better. Style away.

I’ve never commented on a blog, and probably never will again- but I must say, the few pieces I’ve read of yours and the instagram stories ive seen (nearly all of them) I always felt like you were throwing out disclaimers or feeling the need to explain yourself (to the negative Nancy’s) so I’m THRILLED you made this decision. Don’t let their hate win. You and your team are truly unique, fun, and DAMN good at what you do. Don’t let some random, hate filled- probably pretty dull and uninteresting person tell you otherwise. KEEP BEING YOU- IT’S IRRESISTABLE!

Thank you for sharing your work and tidbits of your life with us. We need more people to stand up against negativity and help build an atmosphere of healthy criticism. It’s so nice to see you so happy, you deserve it!!

Hateful and mean comments are never constructive and always unthoughtful. People who use someone’s honesty and openness as an opportunity to be a jerk don’t deserve to be heard. I love your blog and your openness on insta stories!

Ya know…this is actually the first post I’ve read (even though I love following you in IG) and I could freaking KISS YOU! I write a crafty blog and one would think that craft couldn’t really offend anyone!! Ha! I wish. And then I find myself not wanting to create and share my work, even though I know 99% of people support me, enjoy my creations and leave me positive feedback. I also embrace the constructive criticism, however the hateful comments and sometimes personal emails just make it soul crushing. Your post is refreshing and I think we will be friends forever and I will continue to stalk you! Lol – In a good way!! Hugs, Louise xo

Good for you! I happen to love your blog and although I don’t agree with everything it is that which makes it all the more interesting. Please continue adding costs of items and or projects, it makes it that much easier to decide what I am wiling or not to tackle.
I loved loved loved your backyard posts. So many people update their interiors and leave the yards stuck in the past. The use of all the rocks made me so happy, they add such visual texture naturally.
Thanks so much and good day

I am sooooooo happy you made this decision!!!!!!!! As others have said here, I was stressed out by those few mean and rude comments as well and am personally very pleased to not have to come across them again!! Hear hear!

I think that you have made a great choice; isn’t it funny how long it can to take to find a solution to a problem that should be simple! I don’t understand why people make hateful comments, except that they must come from people who are truly unhappy and probably jealous. I think your blog is very inspiring and informative. Sometimes I have to wait a long time to be able to make changes in our home but I’m sure that’s true of a lot of people. I love your style, which definitely inspires and helps me in so many ways and I’m so thankful you do a blog, not Instagram. I don’t agree with everything politically in the blog (I do try to keep an open mind) but respect your passion and since it’s your blog, it’s important that you write about what’s important to you. I think it’s a good thing to see another’s perspective because being closed minded is never good. Sounds like you had some great time off but happy you are back!

I’ve only been following you for a short while and really enjoy your style, personal and professional. I appreciate what you’re trying to do here but want to call out a couple of potential downsides as you implement this new policy. If other people are doing the selection for you, small reactions on your part to published comments will register and likely influence future deletions. It’s really hard to be totally objective when you work with what I imagine is a relatively small group of people who care about you as a friend and leader. Also, you may actually miss out on really useful feedback, even if it is delivered poorly. If nothing else, consider tracking the general sentiment that prompted these comments so that you can see if there are patterns in the aggregate.

I never read your comment section but am now intrigued and surprised by how in the world people could be so hateful about interior design of all things!? Your content is so light – hard to imagine getting worked up about it! I love your blog and everything you write and think you are only making it better with this new policy.

YES! Finally!!!! So love that you did this (for you and us!)
Hate begets hate. Now we can focus on the hundreds of other voices commenting on your blog that are sharing sweet/interesting/hilarious/observant/astute things! Yahoo!

YES!! This is such great news. I literally (please dont judge me) got tears in my eyes when I read this on instagram last night. You are by far my favorite blogger and I find myself looking up to you (as a designer, a Mom, just a fun person – oh lord i’m getting a bit fan girl aren’t I?). Anyway. It freaks me out to no end that people would be mean to you and this great space you and your team have created. So cheers! I’m so glad that weight is off your shoulders now and you can just be the you that the rest of us love.

Your blog is such a happy place! I don’t understand the need to be mean, this is not life or death stuff here, it’s design, color, fabrics, paint etc. and making your surroundings the best it can be and where you feel your happiest and safest. Your blog makes me happy every day!

Hi, I have been a long time reader but commenting for the first time. I think you should have done this a long time ago. But I am really glad that you finally did it.

It’s really easy for people to be negative and judgmental about someone’s life because it looks perfect on the internet when in reality that might not be the case. In your case though, you are the most honest blogger I have ever come across. You are transparent. And I LOVE YOU FOR THAT. You don’t need hate to be yourself because you work so damn hard. And you deserve the success you enjoy.

Oh… I’m so sad that you had to go through that, which I wasn’t aware (since I rarely read comments (?)), but soooo happy that you have decided to make a positive change, for you and your business and personal team. All best! You are a such a treasure for many of us and you have to take care of yourself, for our sake 😉 Hugs!

Emily, you are an absolute delight and stunningly talented. I am so happy to follow your little slice of the web.

I am so glad you have made this decision. Imagine if every site did the same. The online world would be a more peaceful place, and without the vitriolic fuel, trolls might find a more fulfilling and happy life. Who knows maybe you will start a positivity movement:)

I love your IG/blog, and I love that you share more than just pictures. I love getting insights into personal thought processes, feelings, and ideas. The more bloggers that share, the more I realize how different everyone is and that there is beauty in being different. Different styles, different thoughts, different desires & goals, different budgets–different is good.

Yay!! One more nasty-free zone on the internet! Good for you! Good for us! Good for the world! There’s no place for haters in this world. So sorry you went through so much unhappiness with that negativity. Hoping that the support you are getting from the rest of us can sort of wash all that way. Big hugs! <3

Yes!!! Good for you!🤗 I know that I’ll be happy not to be confronted with hate spewed out to the world — and over interior design? Really?? These people should get a life. They’re only happy when nastily passing judgement on others.

Yes! Good for you! You are so inspiring and I love the connection you made to the concern about comments curbing your expression. And truthfully, most of your readers don’t want to see the mean comments either – it stresses us out too! So you’re doing EVERYONE a solid here by losing the nasty.
xoxo

Emily, there is no success without haters, haters hate success and anything that has to do with it. Having haters is a good sign you are on the right path. Think of Jesus, the most influential leader on the planet.. how many haters did he have and still has? You know you are doing the right thing by helping people and changing their lives..thats all what matters.

I’m so glad you’re making a change that reduces the anxiety in your work, and thus your life. I’m sure it will allow you to be more productive and happy. It is a model we should all follow. Congratulations!

Just because its virtual it doesnt mean its not Energy, it is. And you should take care of it. Your work is great! I arillo remember you winning that show. Dont let anyone Boeing you down out of envy! Y es, delete everything negative it is your space and you aré entitled of the Energy that comes to it. You go girl! You aré absolutely nailing it! Blessings dear!

Sooo good. I can be unnecessarily caustic and have to watch my phrasing all of the time as I am not someone who can easily tell how something is going to feel/sound to someone else. My husband has to be my filter much of the time. Poor man. I was reminded of this idea of being honest but kind yesterday when Rhino Records put out a post honoring one of my favorite female artists. The posts! The vitriole. I was so sad. No one has to like her or anyone else, but why the hate? I swear five minutes on social media is all the proof I need that people are sinners. We all have to have a buffer. For me, it’s stepping away for good, long breaks. But you can’t do that here so what you are implementing is a great alternative to resigning or having your mind/heart broken on the daily!

This policy makes me so happy. Reading attacking comments ruins our days, too. (Or at least a few minutes of them.) so it is a win-win. Your transparency and vulnerability is (in my humble, but honest opinion) as crucial to communicating who you are as your design sensibility is and protecting that is generous to us all.

And most importantly. Lake Tahoe. Born and raised in Reno and my Dad lived at Tahoe (Incline Village, Tahoe City, Kings Beach, Carnelian Bay, you name it). Was just there 2 weeks ago for the first time in 7 years. Loved every minute of it. Rented a VW Beetle and listened to the Beatles for a week! So glad you went and enjoyed it!

Bravo!! Proud of you and your team for making this decision to cut out the negative/not constructive comments, because those don’t help anyone out! I also want to reinforce for you that you seem like a very engaged blogger who takes suggestions to heart and it is clear that you care so much about staying in touch with your readers. So, don’t let anyone try to tell you that this new policy will in any way change that! Keep up the great content 🙂

As a person just getting ready to launch into this blog world I appreciate your stance on this and it empowers me to do the same. We need more positivity in this world and hopefully this encourages the negatative Nelly’s to think before they post hate.
Love one of your biggest fans xx

This is great. I don’t know how you read all the comments. I posted here once on a “controversial post” and I didn’t even have the guts to see what people said because I’d either eye roll or lose faith in humanity. You have to take care of yourself in the end. Also, this is a design blog, I don’t get how people can get so angry and mean about it.

100% support this policy! As a society, being cruel has become a norm – I can almost guarantee that people wouldn’t have been like that 20 years ago – because you would have had to do it in person face to face or put your name on it to have it published. Thank you for taking a stand!

Cheers!! I LOVE the new policy. I especially love this part of your post:

“But listen, if you find yourself wanting to leave mean comments all the time then perhaps you should find someone else that better inspires your life and style. I’m clearly not the right fit for you, you aren’t that into me, and frankly the feeling is mutual. There are other sites (or bridges) that haters can troll with the sole purpose of hating – they’ll be happy to have you”

Bye. See ya! Keep scrolling. I just don’t understand why they stick around if they don’t like a certain blogger. People are pretty ballsy hiding behind a computer screen.

This is a great reminder to everyone, haters or normal people, that what you say has impact no matter where it is said–to someone’s face, behind their back, out a car window, on the internet, etc. And really, just be nice, people. You do great work, your whole presence is darling. Keep doing what you’re doing. Xo

Amen sister. As the mom of a beautiful 30 year old daughter 1/2 way through a year long grueling cancer treatment I’ve removed all negativity from my life. You have the control and boy oh boy is it liberating! 🙂 Life is too short. You have an incredible talent that you freely and graciously share with all of us and I know I speak for many of us in saying a great, big thank you. Cheers to this new chapter in your life and brava!! La Vita Bella!

Hi Emily, it’s surprising you would have to write this post and make this decision. If for no other reason, it isn’t as if you are writing about overly controversial political or other social issues, so yes, why do people read if they don’t enjoy. (Some bloggers turn off the comments and I don’t have a problem with that.) If I were being perfectly honest, and maybe you don’t even want that…who does? (lol), I do have one frustration with your blog. Often, you will post something and ask readers questions or write about something that might naturally lead to certain questions about color, brand, etc., but then crickets…no one replies or answers the questions. I noticed in the past few blog posts, you’ve tried to do this, and I can imagine how hard it would be to answer every question, but it would be helpful if your team could go through blog posts, round up (as you say) common questions and answer questions in a follow up comment.

Some comments are just interesting on their own. For example, in your recent blog post about your go to neutrals, someone asked if warm colors are just out or if you use any warm colors in your rooms. That is such an interesting question and most blog followers notice such trends, and I was waiting patiently for a reply, but nothing. (Also, I realize warm/cool is a bit relative…warm grays v. cool grays…but grays are on the cooler side compared to beiges and browns, and other warm trends of a number of years ago.) It would be nice to see a reply to this thoughtful question or others that I have noticed, or even asked myself.

Maybe every 5 blog posts do a q and a from previous ones? I don’t know, not trying to further overwhelm your life, just something I would love to see on your blog (and others to be fair!!).

You rock! I love this so much! I am a huge fan and have been for years! I have never commented, and Im sorry for that, you should feel the love that so many have for you. Your transparency is inspiring- I love watching your stories….I love it all. You bring a smile to my face daily and I admire how comfortable you are in front of the camera, and sharing the good, bad and ugly. It’s real, just as it should be! Thank you for continuing to be vulnerable, honest, and humble…qualities that we should be teaching our children…. keep it up, and the haters can suck it!!! You have so much support and love out there….hope you feel that!!

This is good for your readers as well as for you. Those of us who are more sensitive find the negative comments disturbing even when they are not directed at us. I love your strategy of pretending that an eight year old is going to read the comment aloud. This world needs more kindness and compassion, and we need to set a better example for the children. Thank you, Emily!

I’ve never understood mean comments on anyone’s blog. To me, it’s a way to pass the time and read interesting things that someone took the time to write/create. It’s an online diary that everyone has been given access to read. But especially here on your blog, Emily. Like seriously wtf? You’re just showing all of us your thought processes behind interior design and keeping all of us abreast of trends, etc. It’s awesome! I just recently started renting a house and thought to myself, ‘If Emily came over to my house what would she like and what would she change?’ You’ve been an incredible influence!

It’s been my personal experience as a naturally happy -wakeupwithapositiveattitudenomatterhowshittythingsare – person, someone and usually someONES will gravitate toward that to simply tear it down. And those people cannot be helped or stopped. But we can change to say no and to gracefully step away from that perpetually toxic situation. So brava on your decision – mental health and clarity is huge for everyone but ESPECIALLY all of you mom’s out there. A bad mental state bleeds into everything – unfortunately. 🙁

Stay happy, stay quirky, stay the beautiful light that you are and have been for me and thousands of readers that keep coming back. You’re a gift and we cherish you. <3

Good for you! I’ve ALWAYS deleted mean or hateful comments (though I’ve been lucky to only receive a few) on my blog since day 1! It’s my little piece of the internet and I want it to be fun and positive!

Loved your approach on having a child reading it out loud. Another method is to pretend yourself reading it out loud but saying it directly to the person (i.e., you). This also applies for general online commentary, gossip, etc. It’s a lot easier to make snide remarks through keyboard rather than irl.

Hello Emily,
I have been a long time reader of your blog and follower on instagram, and through the years I guess I have never taken the time to comment nor read comments so to hear you talk about negative or mean comments is a huge shock to me. Honestly for the life of me I can not think of a thing you have ever posted on your blog or through instagram that would ever spark anything negative or mean. Your posts are honestly, refreshing and always thoughtfully done. And its a heartbreak to hear that someone would post anything mean about it. I am so happy to hear that you will be getting rid of them and feel good about it, I love your content both home and family, its so honest and welcoming, now having kids the same ages as you its always good to hear someone is in the exact same spot, parenting and marriage is hard and wonderful and HARD. But your rocking at it. So please keep on doing exactly what you have been. I cant imagine what pressure you are under being in more of a public role but your making it look easy. Thank you for your honestly and real life, and that we all get to be a part of it. Hopefully this will help the haters realize if you don’t like it don’t look at it.

Hi, I’m new here and happened to stumble upon this post and I’m surprised and bewildered by all this! Why should you or anyone for that matter put up with any form of “verbal” abuse? I don’t get it. Haters shouldn’t be able to “touch” you or anyone for that matter, so I’m glad that you took action to stop it. Focus on being the best you and never mind the rest…;D

I’m SO GLAD you made this change. I had been noticing how many of your posts essentially started with apologies or disclaimers and I was so sad that a few determined jerks were cramping your writing style and making you qualify every statement you make on YOUR blog.

The reality is that the problems tackled on ANY design blog are champagne problems. Everyone here has at least some sort of roof over their head creating design quandaries and at least a small amount of disposable income with which to attempt to solve these problems. Yes, you happen to be able to solve these problems with a larger budget/ more revisions than most. Don’t be sorry for that – we benefit by getting to see the content that your extra budget and manpower generates.

Jerks in the comment section trying to make you feel bad about your privilege with constant vitriol while SIMULTANEOUSLY expecting more/improved/different free content that helps them address their own champagne design problems do not deserve any of your energy.

I’ve followed your blog for years, and yes, I felt the shift in content after that negative commenter on the posts about make mistakes of all things. I enjoy your transparency, and felt bored when you played it safe a bit after that incident. I also was bored by the bean bag post. Not because I wasn’t interested in bean bags, but because they were all crazy expensive. I like when you give cost effective options. Then I feel like I have a design-chance. Thanks for sharing!

Huh. I’ve never read a comment here that I experienced as hateful. Definitely ones where the poster strenuously disagrees with or critiques what has been posted. But no hate. Insulating yourself from your audience is a risky move. I hope it works out for you.

I love it! I haven’t been to this site since the tone of posts and comments turned negative during the election. So happy to see the change. We don’t have to right to be cruel to each other. And we certainly don’t have to tolerate emotionally or verbally abusive comments either! (I’m a child abuse survivor so I’m super sensitive to any cruelty.) I pleased to start following this blog again. We all need to treat others better than they treat us. It will make the world a better place.

“and frankly the feeling is mutual.” OMG I LOVE IT! Glad you made the change and that you’re feeling good about it.

I really don’t understand why people would choose to read a blog if they don’t like the person/topic/whatever being communicated. The internet is a magical place! You actually aren’t required to read anything that you don’t want to read.

I quit in Nov too! Made me sad to see people who had a different opinion then the staff at EHD demeaned. Seems hate generates hate. Happy to see the staff now “now run a cruelty-free blog”. I’m always willing to give someone a second chance.

I am so relieved that you have made this change. As a much older reader (61) I have cringed for you as I’ve read some of the horrid comments. I’ve loved the refreshing honesty and vulnerability you bring to your work, and reading the weeks posts is a happily anticipated Sunday morning treat! When I was a young mom I would have given anything to have another mom speak so honestly to the realities of parenting, not to mention politics, race, and other tricky topics. Thank you for taking care of yourself (and the rest of us) with this new policy. You are amazing, Emily!

Oh, I’m so glad you made this decision! I was actually starting to not want to read your blog because it’s was just such a bummer and so depressing to see all the negative comments. Yes to weeding out the hate! Thank you!

I am so glad you are doing this! For your sake and ours. I do like reading comments here but sometimes I get so mad when I see those haters that I just leave. Ugh.
You are so honest and vulnerable and I think it is awesome. Thank you for being you!

please don’t stop those. I love the dialogue and feedback is crucial to the progression and success of the blog and to me, personally. You’ve helped me become a better designer, writer (ha), mom, and person. I want to know what you like, don’t like, how we could be better, etc.

Amen to this! Haters are gonna hate and I love your suggestion that they find something else to inspire them. There’s enough nasty comments these day especially on Twitter and a certain high-profile person but I won’t name names 😉

Good for you! Nobody should be allowed to come into your house and be a jerk, and this blog is yours, after all. It makes me happy that the comments won’t be stressing you out anymore, and it also makes me happy to think that the bullies have been shut down. Yay!

I know this is an old post but I just watched the most amazing live facebook talk from Beene Brown on Charlottesville and had all the feels… but also, the last 90 seconds connected me back to this post. If you happen to read this comment on an older post please watch her talk from 8/15 for so many reasons, among them her alignment to what you share above. Power to the positive, the productive, lady.

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Hello!

Emily is a stylist, author and T.V. host with a strong commitment to vintage inspired approachable home style for every single person. Perfection is boring; Let’s get weird. learn more

Interior Design Blog by Emily Henderson

I started this interior design blog in 2010 as a journal of my style and home projects with the belief that design should be approachable, informational and accessible no matter what budget.

As a home style expert who has a strong commitment to peeling back the intimidating layers of the world of home decor, and showing how every person can have a beautiful home that represents their personality, no matter what the budget.

After styling for magazines and catalogues for years, I started my own interior design blog, won HGTV Design Star, and have gone on to host my own hit TV show Secrets from a Stylist, Author the book STYLED, and create the design firm Emily Henderson Design.

My motto has always been to write and publish on my blog what I personally want to read about.