The act of spreading joy does not often come from a place of my own joy. In fact, every time I can recall my own joy, it’s been a deeply personal experience, felt by an audience of one – me.

The wondrous privilege of witnessing nature; a dragonfly landing on me with wings glistening in the sunlight when I was a child in Chateauguay, a hawk calling while soaring across a central BC sky, a spider’s web sparkling in the pre-dawn light of a full moon in Brown County Indiana, the lull of the ocean’s waves crashing against the shore and receding, crashing against the shore and receding in the Dominican Republic, and more profoundly moving of late in Calgary, dogs approaching me with the same trust and love they used to approach dad with.

My joy comes while living in the moment and is deeply personal.

Spreading joy often comes from a place of brokenness; cycles of dysfunction in relationships or, stubborn ways of thinking or being, when I finally reach out with forgiveness, when I decide to break the cycle to relieve someone else’s pain through kindness and friendship.

How do you recognize the difference between what is good for you and bad for you? Does fun mean bad? Does safe mean good?

How do you balance security and risk? When is it best to tread carefully? When should you throw caution to the wind?

How do you evaluate your need and their need? When do you sacrifice yourself for the good of someone else? When do your sacrifices border enabling?

Living only for our own comfort is the worst kind of extravagance; and truly brings no satisfaction in the end. And a life of consistently compromising ourselves to accommodate the agendas of others only serves to annihilate us and the gifts we could share with the world.

Can we ever really know the danger from the dance? I don’t think we can. At least not until our decisions finally play themselves out. But a really good indicator that we’re making the right decision may be to question our motives for the choices we make.

Have you ever thought about what drives us to have more? Why we need a more expensive, newer car, the latest gadget, a bigger house, more money? Does what we have not work? Does our survival depend on it? Or is it simply a matter of social status? Why is it so pressing that we keep up with the Joneses?

We humans are wired to survive. We need shelter. We need food. We need security from those who might harm us. And once we have those bases covered, we need to belong. We need to be needed and we need to know that we can count on others when we need them.

But when do our needs become frivolous? What marks the event when we’ve gone too far? When we must ‘have it’ just for the sake of ‘having it’? When we decide to live outside of our means and willingly fall into debt? When do we cross that line of pure greed that sacrifices our fellow (wo)man’s ability to survive?