• Chalkboard Menus
The acerbic-tongue reviewers at Zagat ask why diners should have to squint at a barely legible chalkboard menu after staring at a computer screen all day. Is it an attempt to fuzzy-up the prices?

• Wyatt Earp Type Bartenders
Zagat has nothing against beards or mustaches, But the fedoras, the mustaches, the suspenders or bartenders are just too much for them.

While we’re at it, how about being in an up-scale food market and asking to use the toilet, only to be told it’s not “for the public.”

Never mind I’m carrying fifty bucks worth of groceries and stuff.

When I explain I’m not a “public,” I’m a customer, there is no recognition, or yielding.

So, I put the groceries back and find the nearest gas station.

Still nothing beats the Village Voice story of the New York chef who, upset that a diner complained that his lobster was raw, stormed out of the kitchen, threw a live lobster on the diner’s table and threw the guests out.

If you want to hear what Zagat says about iceless table water and other gripes, go to the site.