Popular Comments Across MetaFilterhttp://www.metafilter.com/favorites/all
Comments from across all sites, marked as a favorite most often in the past seven days.Sat, 10 Dec 2016 03:08:46 GMTSat, 10 Dec 2016 03:08:46 GMTen-ushttp://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss60By sciatrix in ""One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone."" on MeFiAh--quick note, the Satanic Temple isn't the same thing as the Church of Satan, any more than Lutherans are the same as Baptists. They both come from LaVey Satanism, but there are some pretty key doctrinal differences, and this particular lawsuit is being pushed very definitively by the Satanic <em>Temple</em>. <a href="https://thesatanictemple.com/about-us/tenets/">Their seven tenets</a> (not 11) are a bit different from the Church of Satan tenets AlexiaSky lists above:<br /><br /><em>1. One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason.<br />2. The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.<br />3. One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone.<br />4. The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo your own.<br />5. Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world. We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our beliefs.<br />6. People are fallible. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it and resolve any harm that may have been caused.<br />7. Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.</em><br /><br />The Satanic Temple has made something of a habit of cheerfully insisting that religious exemptions ought to apply just as strongly to their own adherents as to any Christian evangelical, and that their members ought to be given the same religious freedoms as anyone else. They're <a href="https://religiousreproductiverights.com/">currently pursuing a case</a> on behalf of a Missouri woman arguing that restrictions she had to face before her abortion violate her sincerely held belief in tenet 3. They've also argued that corporal punishment in schools violates tenet 3 and that their children/any children claiming Satanist affiliation should be exempted from corporal punishment. Recently they have begun to cheerfully insist that if Christian evangelicals are allowed to hold Good News Clubs in public elementary schools designed to convert children, they <a href="https://afterschoolsatan.com/">ought to be allowed to run After School Satan clubs</a> designed to help children learn about the world as viewed through the seven tenets (although the club syllabi are really more "hey, cool science" than anything else). <br /><br />My whole household officially joined the Satanic Temple a few months ago--me, partner, and roommate--on the encouragement of my partner, who has considered themself a Satanist for about six years. I have had zero regrets about this, because I really love the philosophy underlying the Temple's various causes. This is the first atheistic religion I've encountered that really promotes activism and going out to <em>do things</em> for one's fellow humans, especially and in particular activism that goes beyond "hey, don't force me to say God!" They are generally exactly as dickish as the particular Christians whose nose they're tweaking, and no further. I love them wholeheartedly, and am currently watching my partner make a Baphomet tree topper for the tree at the moment with great delight.http://www.metafilter.com/163775/Ones-body-is-inviolable-subject-to-ones-own-will-alone#6831744
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163775-6831744Mon, 05 Dec 2016 05:38:43 GMTsciatrixBy roomthreeseventeen in "Donald Trump is Time's 2016 Person of the Year" on MeFi<a href="http://www.metafilter.com/163732/He-has-neither-the-temperament-nor-the-judgment-to-be-president#6834315">From the other thread:</a><br /><br /><em>From the Time article:<br /><br />Shannon Goodin, 24, Owosso, Mich. Trump earned the support of Goodin, a first-time voter, by being "a big poster child for change," she says, adding, "Politicians don't appeal to us. Clinton would go out of her way to appeal to minorities, immigrants, but she didn't really for everyday Americans."</em><br /><br />Right, so this is what we're facing. Identity politics or not, this [presumably white] kid in Michigan thinks that I am not an everyday American. My great grandmother came here when she was 16, 96 years ago, fleeing pogroms.http://www.metafilter.com/163828/Donald-Trump-is-Times-2016-Person-of-the-Year#6834356
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163828-6834356Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:02:31 GMTroomthreeseventeenBy zachlipton in "You can't count votes that never got a chance to be cast" on MeFi<a href="http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/12/ohio-lawmaker-never-thought-about-why-women-get-abortions.html">Ohio Politician Who Lobbied for 'Heartbeat Bill' Has 'Never Thought About' Why a Woman Would Want an Abortion</a> <br /><br /><blockquote>Buchy is a longtime proponent of restricting women's access to abortion — in 2012, he told Al Jazeera that his ultimate goal is to ban abortion completely in the State of Ohio. Then, the reporter asked him an interesting question: "What do you think makes a woman want to have an abortion?"<br /><br />He pauses. Then he says, "Well, there's probably a lot of reas— I'm not a woman." He laughs. "I'm thinking now if I'm a woman why would I want to get ... Some of it has to do with economics. A lot of it has to do with economics. I don't know. It's a question I've never even thought about."</blockquote><br /><br />If you were looking for a mind at work, this isn't it.http://www.metafilter.com/163876/You-cant-count-votes-that-never-got-a-chance-to-be-cast#6837044
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163876-6837044Fri, 09 Dec 2016 18:34:26 GMTzachliptonBy Catseye in "Emotions are Work" on MeFiWeirdly, the thing that has made me reflect most on the emotional work of my earlier relationships has been parenting a toddler. I don't mean that in some "lolz those men were basically toddlers amirite" way. I mean, a huge amount of my time at the moment is spent helping someone else learn to manage their emotions. Small children have a <em>lot</em> of very strong emotions, because everything's so new to them and they lack the brain development or the life experience to process what they're feeling, and so you have to do a ton of work to walk them through it. Here is a language for how you are feeling; here is what is and is not acceptable to do about what you are feeling; yes, I see that you are angry about not having the blue cup, but no, you can't deal with this by headbutting the fridge. <br /><br />So it's partly this that reminds me of several early relationships, the "ah, I see you are doing XYZ! Let's help you find out what you are really feeling in order to do that" conversations. But more than that, it's the distance you have to create from your own feelings in order to work through someone else's for them. Because if my toddler yells "NO YOU GO AWAY RIGHT NOW!" at me and kicks the TV, I can't reasonably respond the way I would if one of my peers said that. <br /><br />And I feel like I've already done a <em>lot</em> of this in my earlier life. Ah, you seem to be acting in [manner]! Perhaps you are feeling [emotion]? No, I'm not accusing you of [thing], I'm on your side, let me prove this by [gesture]. Are you feeling [emotion] because of [causes]? Maybe you are! But perhaps underneath [emotion] you feel [other emotion]? Can I help you with [other emotion]? Perhaps you need a hug? All the time stamping down on how I was feeling about any of this. And so on and so on and so on.<br /><br />And honestly, it is psychologically exhausting to do this now with a toddler. I have no idea how I found the energy to do this with a series of emotionally illiterate men in my youth. What else could I have done with all that energy?http://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830592
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830592Sat, 03 Dec 2016 22:30:02 GMTCatseyeBy witchen in "At least 30 dead in Oakland warehouse fire" on MeFiOh my god, bless this person.<br /><br /><em>'As I was down there blindly trying to find the door to get out I got really lucky. Some dude who had already gotten out stood right by the exit with all the billowing smoke and was repeatedly yelling "this is the exit, exit."'<br />'I can say without a doubt that that dude saved my life. If he wasn't there yelling I would have never found the exit and I probably would have died.'</em><br /><br />.http://www.metafilter.com/163791/At-least-30-dead-in-Oakland-warehouse-fire#6832356
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163791-6832356Mon, 05 Dec 2016 20:19:39 GMTwitchenBy Ghostride The Whip in "Emotions are Work" on MeFiNow if only men could contain their emotional urge to run into a thread and #notallmen it to death, that would be something.http://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830760
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830760Sun, 04 Dec 2016 02:48:28 GMTGhostride The WhipBy stilgar in "It's like having an extra U.S. on the planet" on MeFiThe more we learn about the climate, the more impetus we have to do something to save ourselves. Science like this gives us tools to use to make change.<br /><br />Giving up is for chumps, I for one plan to fight till the world is a better place. <br /><br />Giving up is easy. Being sarcastic on the internet is easy. Making real change is hard. Living in the united states under a president that plans on doing everything he can to ruin the world is hard. <br /><br />But you know what, we have potential, we have science, have each other. <br /><br />I am sick and tired of this view of an apocalypse where everyone turns on each other, and tears each other apart in a nihilist orgy or destruction. The entire culture seems to have a fetishistic desire for self destruction. <br /><br />With all due respect, Screw...That... Yes there is going to be a very very hard times ahead, yes its going to be hard. But the only thing that will get us through it is if we come together.<br /><br />Make it your hobby to talk with your conservative family, do everything you can to let them know how important it is to take action against climate change. Donate to groups working for change, get to know your neighbors. Build systems of interconnected resilience with friends and neighbors. Vote against representatives that don't fight climate change, help get money out of politics, call your representatives, ride your god damn bicycle. <br /><br />If the end times do show up, maybe it will be the perfect time to build an even better world than before.<br /><br />There are hundreds if not thousands of things you can do to fight this. Giving up on humanity is the worst sort of cynicism, cynicism has become far too popular. Its time to care more! For gods sake, do you want a star trek future, or a mad max one?<br /><br />Fight, love, FIGHT!http://www.metafilter.com/163762/Its-like-having-an-extra-US-on-the-planet#6830694
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163762-6830694Sun, 04 Dec 2016 01:06:52 GMTstilgarBy a fiendish thingy in "Emotions are Work" on MeFire: the contention that women expect men to be mindreaders, I have often observed two very serious roots of this phenomenon, and they are the reason I do not consider jokes about this concept to be particularly funny. <br /><br />One: An experience I seem to share with every woman I have ever known is this: when asked, I state my preference over a fairly insignificant issue. For the next FIVE YEARS, I restate that preference multiple times in the hearing of the man who originally, and repeatedly, asked my preference. <br /><br />The hurtfulness of the ongoing question is cumulative. The tenth time, I can still shrug it off. By five years (maybe longer), getting asked the question makes me want to leave the room and cry. He has asked, and I have answered, over and over and over. And yet he has never listened to my answer in a way that allows him to remember it the next time the issue arises. The 673rd time the question is asked, if I am having a bad day, or I have felt disrespected in other ways, I will probably blow up. How many times will it take for him to hear me? How many times will it take for him to pay attention? Why is this adult person who is capable of driving a car and managing a complicated career incapable of remembering a minor fact that we have discussed over and over and over because he can't ever retain my answer? This is not unique to men who have memory problems. It is often painful precisely because the question itself is so incredibly meaningless— I despise myself for caring about something so small, but if this tiny thing is a reminder that he cannot seem to hear a word I say, then it has the power to crush me. <br /><br />Two: Women and girls are taught from an EXTREMELY young age that asking for what we want is a violation of social boundaries. Girls who want to play in the wrong ways (loud, energetic) are told they are being unladylike. Girls who want to be alone are not allowed to make that choice as often as boys. <br /><br />Women are frequently killed for expressing their preferences regarding the men they want to spend time with (#youoksis). Women who speak about sexual pleasure are treated as "edgy" and "raunchy". Women are scolded for not asking for raises, but when they do ask for raises, their success rate is dramatically lower than for men. Women bosses who directly tell men what to do are driven out of organizations, while women bosses who cajole work out of their employees are more well-liked.<br /><br />Do you see what I'm getting at? I have very clear memories, from preschool on, of being taught that I was not allowed to talk about what I wanted without facing very real repercussions. This was even true for things like "what snack do you want", let alone much much larger issues like "how do I want my loved ones to interact with me and make me feel valued". What many women learn is how to ask for things without having to ask for those things, because Asking Is Wrong. Asking Is Rude. Asking Is Violence. (I am not exaggerating. An enormous amount of men react to women stating their preferences as if they are under attack. Ever read an advice column where a woman has told her partner about the type of sex she preferred, and as a result the relationship has ended, or he is no longer speaking to her, or he is refusing to share a bedroom any longer?)<br /><br />So women drop hints. Women, who have typically suffered for being direct, try to communicate indirectly.<br /><br />This intersects with the subject of the FPP, because most women are so attuned to men and their emotions and their moods (out of necessity) that they assume there must be a little bit of reciprocity. Not a lot! But some. If I can hear the tone of his voice and decide tonight just isn't the night to mention [X], if I can hear the genuine interest in his voice when he sees something on tv and says "huh", if I can sense his reluctance to end a conversation and ask if anything else is on his mind until he feels safe enough to talk about something he would never bring up on his own, then is it so crazy to think that he might have noticed things I care about? Requests I've made? Conversations I've tried to have?<br /><br />In my experience: usually. I've known men who say "she just blew up out of nowhere!" about topics that I have explicitly heard their wives/partners mention more than once in public, topics that I know they have discussed in private as well. <br /><br />Don't like being asked to be a mindreader? Hey, me neither! But when women do obfuscate their preferences, the mysterious secret code that the woman in question is using is probably her equivalent of shouting and extreme forthrightness, after a lifetime of being told (explicitly and implicitly) that she has no right to ask for what she wants.<br /><br />(That said, I have a friend who is stuck in this awful pattern with her husband, where he does the same hurtful thing like a compulsion, and her explicit openness is no help at all—<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please don't do this. It hurts me.<br />Friend's Husband: What thing? I didn't do that thing.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please stop doing this thing. It hurts me.<br />FH: I was exhausted from work, cut me some slack.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please stop doing this thing. It hurts me.<br />FH: You take everything the wrong way.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please don't do this. It hurts me.<br />FH: I think you're exaggerating.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please don't do this. It hurts me.<br />FH: You never used to be such a negative person.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: Please don't do this. It hurts me.<br />FH: I'm sorry.<br /><br />[he does the thing]<br />Friend: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TALKED ABOUT THIS? STOP DOING THE THING! YOU KNOW IT HURTS ME!<br />FH: Women just blow up out of nowhere!!!!!!!!!!!)http://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6831421
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6831421Sun, 04 Dec 2016 23:18:23 GMTa fiendish thingyBy Strange Interlude in ""One's body is inviolable, subject to one's own will alone."" on MeFiThe Satanists are really doing God's work here.http://www.metafilter.com/163775/Ones-body-is-inviolable-subject-to-ones-own-will-alone#6831699
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163775-6831699Mon, 05 Dec 2016 04:42:00 GMTStrange InterludeBy Mrs. Pterodactyl in "You can't count votes that never got a chance to be cast" on MeFi<em> the son of a Hebridean</em><br /><br />I've noticed a lot of people using various ways to avoid saying Donald Trump's name, and it reminds me a lot of how in Harry Potter people didn't say "Voldemort". And then I remembered how Dumbledore said "Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself" so you should just say his name. Then I remembered that everyone was right not to say "Voldemort" because they'd cast a curse on the name so they could find and imprison anyone who said it so it was good not to say the name! Then I remembered that we're not wizards so we're okay because you can't put a curse on words like that! Then I remembered how our civil liberties are under attack and how maybe it will indeed become illegal to criticize Donald Trump! Then I remembered about the NSA tracking all of our phone calls and emails and stuff so maybe they'll actually know exactly when anyone says "Donald Trump"! Then I got super depressed! Boy this is all really effing terrible!http://www.metafilter.com/163876/You-cant-count-votes-that-never-got-a-chance-to-be-cast#6837029
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163876-6837029Fri, 09 Dec 2016 18:22:03 GMTMrs. PterodactylBy schadenfrau in "Emotions are Work" on MeFi<em>First, the term man-splainy is offensive</em><br /><br />Your contention, in a thread about the social phenomenon in which women are expected to shield men from the realities of their own lives and experiences so as not to hurt men's feelings, is that the term "mansplain," <em>which describes a real social phenomena</em>, is offensive because it hurts your feelings?<br /><br />I swear to God I can't tell if this is performance arthttp://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830982
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830982Sun, 04 Dec 2016 15:55:51 GMTschadenfrauBy a fiendish thingy in "Emotions are Work" on MeFiI want to note that this isn't just about romantic relationships. I have literally never had a single job where part of my unspoken job description did not include "manage emotional lives of men in the workplace". <br /><br />I had an annual review where I was told I needed to stop working, look up, and smile, when a certain man in our org was visiting our suite of offices. HE WANTED ME TO STOP PROCESSING FINANCIAL STATEMENTS TO SMILE AT HIM AND MAKE HIM FEEL IMPORTANT AND BENEVOLENT.<br /><br />My job now has an unbelievable amount of "maybe if we say it like this he won't take it the wrong way" and interpreting sighs and slammed down phones in the hopes that work can happen. We have a certain gentleman who will lodge formal complaints whenever women are too honest with him (like, "this is past the deadline" level of honest). We have staff meetings where we try to figure out how to manage the innumerable number of wounded egos that are preventing us from doing our jobs. Men are in these meetings, so yes, men have to do a lot of managing of emotions, when their jobs depend on it.<br /><br />I am describing men I respect, many of whom I love. And yet men's emotions are often frightening because almost every emotion/sensation is transmuted into anger. For so, so many of them, fear=anger. Embarrassment=anger. Exhaustion=anger. Self-doubt=anger. Annoyance=anger.<br /><br />There is nothing like mentioning a man's anger to that man, and hearing him scream "I'M NOT ANGRY", his voice vibrating with rage.<br /><br />Whenever a man is angry around me, even if he is kind and gentle, even if I know he loves me, even if it has never happened before, I immediately begin to adjust/freeze/shrink, my affect altered by that familiar frisson of "maybe this time is when he'll hurt me."<br /><br />oh, but, lest I forget to do my culturally mandated job, allow me to mention #notallmenhttp://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830855
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830855Sun, 04 Dec 2016 06:23:28 GMTa fiendish thingyBy palomar in "Emotions are Work" on MeFiFine. This is how SOME MEN are. <br /><br />For instance, one way that I, a woman, am forced to cater to the delicacy of men's feelings is by never, ever, ever forgetting for one damn second that if I just say "men", and don't carefully couch my language in gentler terms by adding "some" or "not all" as a modifier, I'll inevitably be corrected by a man with hurt feelings because he assumes the word "men" means all men everywhere all the time forever.http://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6831366
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6831366Sun, 04 Dec 2016 22:39:32 GMTpalomarBy Naberius in "Donald Trump is Time's 2016 Person of the Year" on MeFiYou know who else was Time's person of the year...<br /><br /><small>For god's sake, it's like they just write themselves.</small>http://www.metafilter.com/163828/Donald-Trump-is-Times-2016-Person-of-the-Year#6834346
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163828-6834346Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:56:34 GMTNaberiusBy Cash4Lead in "Dinosaur Tail Discovered Trapped in Amber" on MeFi<em>posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl</em><br /><br />An eponysterical for the ages!http://www.metafilter.com/163860/Dinosaur-Tail-Discovered-Trapped-in-Amber#6835905
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163860-6835905Thu, 08 Dec 2016 19:29:55 GMTCash4LeadBy pretentious illiterate in ""He has neither the temperament nor the judgment to be president"" on MeFiIt bothers me a lot when people bring up the possibility of civil war as a reason not to pursue legal political action. It's an example of what those articles about how to resist fascism are talking about when they warn you not to obey in advance - if there's a <em>legitimate</em> possibility of changing the outcome of the election, and we don't take it because we're scared of how the other side will act, then they've won, straight up. We've turned over the system to the worst of us, abandoned people who need us, and surrendered our rights because we are afraid. <br /><br />The rabid Trump supporters <em>love</em> to swing their balls around and shout on social media about how they better get what they want because they're the ones with all the guns so we better give them what they want or here comes the uprising.<br /><br />Okay, you armchair warriors, you want to reasonably talk to me about civil war? Talk to me about financial resources. Talk to me about the numbers on both sides. Talk to me about how you're going to take over the military. Talk to me about your plans to resist the surveillance state when you can't even keep your lunatic leader in line on Twitter. Talk to me about what this Donald Trump-led civil war would <em>actually</em> look like, because otherwise, you're just winning the argument by being the side that's willing to escalate to spit-flying crazy talk and shout death threats until all the reasonable people leave the room. <br /><br />They're used to winning arguments that way, and we're used to letting them. But I will be good goddamned if I will avoid exercising my constitutional rights because of what I'm <em>afraid</em> of what the blowhards and the bullies on the other side will do. We've got to be better than this and tougher than this, you guys. Come on.http://www.metafilter.com/163732/He-has-neither-the-temperament-nor-the-judgment-to-be-president#6831876
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163732-6831876Mon, 05 Dec 2016 13:46:46 GMTpretentious illiterateBy beerperson in "Dinosaur Tail Discovered Trapped in Amber" on MeFiguys i have a great idea for an amusement park, hear me outhttp://www.metafilter.com/163860/Dinosaur-Tail-Discovered-Trapped-in-Amber#6835921
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163860-6835921Thu, 08 Dec 2016 19:36:18 GMTbeerpersonBy fshgrl in "Emotions are Work" on MeFiI had a boyfriend once who literally said of his ex "she woyld see I was getting upset and calm me down. You don't do that". He was dead serious while I literally laughed in his face because really? Blew mind someone should think that was my role. Then I told him "maybe she was afraid your hit her" and that blew his mind. He stressed he'd never hit a woman and I pointed out that he couldn't control his own emotions so that wasn't probably a bet most people would take, that she was likely afraid of him and trying to deflect his anger. We broke up a week later, obviously, but I still marvel over someone who would actually think I'd do that or that he wasn't responsible for his own emotions. Ridiculous.http://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830610
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830610Sat, 03 Dec 2016 23:11:06 GMTfshgrlBy Scattercat in ""A new president, new justice appointees changed the dynamic"" on MeFiThe thing that drives me up the wall about this is that you can literally put a single heart cell into a petri dish and it will keep beating, and if you put another one next to it they sync up. It's all they do. It sounds very wooby because we have poeticized the heart as the seat of emotion instead of the liver or the gut or whatever, but it's just a cell doing what it evolved to do. The heart is one of the first things to get in gear<br /><br />I'm imagining the Ancient Rome version of this with the Quivering Liver Bill instead.http://www.metafilter.com/163832/A-new-president-new-justice-appointees-changed-the-dynamic#6834540
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163832-6834540Wed, 07 Dec 2016 17:00:34 GMTScattercatBy escabeche in "Emotions are Work" on MeFi<em>most of the time i assume that the last time anyone here read a written word it was the magna fucking carta</em><br /><br />OK I haven't read the whole thing but I feel like these charters always make it sound like it's only kings who demand unfair feudal payments from barons -- you know, plenty of kings have the same problem with the barons in their liveshttp://www.metafilter.com/163757/Emotions-are-Work#6830776
tag:.metafilter.com,2016:site.163757-6830776Sun, 04 Dec 2016 03:06:19 GMTescabeche