up down and all around

I’ve had a very long weekend, and I’m sick, and I stayed up all night with an equally sick baby, so I don’t have a coherent blog with a narrative purpose this week.

On Friday I went to a police funeral. It was the second I’ve gone to (although, sadly, not the second since I’ve had reason to go). They get easier and worse at the same time. One of the downsides of having an overactive imagination? When I stress about funerals I impulsively start imagining myself giving eulogies for loved ones. If a nightmare is the opposite of a good dream, what is the opposite of fantasizing? Anyway, cry headaches are the worst. Also I would give a fantastic eulogy.

On Saturday I had friends over from out of town. I see them once or twice a year so it’s always great, and this time our babies got to play together! I have a zillion nieces and nephews but no friends with babies so oh, the novelty. That night I had book club with a bunch of ladies who are infinitely cooler, prettier, and more professionally accomplished than I am (pro tip: get yourself cool lady friends, you’ll never regret it). This is always one of the major highlights of my month, even if half the time I’m toting a sleepy baby these days.

On Sunday I went to my sister’s birthday party and spent a few hours yelling with my family (I mean volume, not tone) and that was a a good, warm way to end a weekend that started off pretty shitty.

Except the weekend didn’t really end because the baby and I both came down with some miserable head cold by bedtime. He proceeded to wake up every hour wailing. I got him to stay down a couple hours straight by snuggling on our couch but was too paranoid about co-sleeping on a non-crib surface to shut my eyes.

So my weekend continued in to Monday and I spent all day lazing around with husband and baby reading on the couch. I also finished editing my 2016 novel during the baby’s nap. I should feel triumphant, but I always hit the pit of despair during edits. I liked the book a couple weeks ago. Now it is the worst thing ever written. I’ll set it aside a couple more weeks and tinker with the next project, and by then maybe I won’t hate it anymore.

Basically I’m exhausted by the ups and downs of the past few days, so I’m having dinner and going to bed and crossing my fingers that I get some sleep tonight!