nothing in here is true

Saturday, May 9, 2009

with photos from last night’s activities at the $1 beer, $1 dogs, trip to Hollywood Park to celebrate karisas 24th birthday

Keira-Anne: It’s called a birthday because you get just a day – not a week. Not even brides get a week for their wedding. What does your Magic 8 ball have in store for me? I need some good news.

no need to be jealous sweet blonde nymph. and if you havent discovered yet, we do things differently in the lower 48. but have no fear, america’s hat will soon follow suit as soon as neil young puts his stamp of approval on it. your future includes wine women and song. oh wait thats mine. you will get a new bikini.

David: what’s the best reggae track to groove to while watching my pick in the eighth race finish dead last?

reggae is the devils muzak. “one cup of coffee” by bob marley. it was one of his first singles when he was still obsessed with motown.

Mike: What movie do you think will be the best of the summer? Wolverine, Star Trek, Terminator 4, or Transformers 2?

wolverine was horrible. terminator without arnold will be a yawner. although megan fox is the hottest actress on stage or screen as long as shes paired up by Bro Ham who hollywood for some reason is intent on forcing upon us shes doomed. so the answer is Trek + JJ which i will screen this afternoon with my truest.

suffer as she settles for tony look-a-likes who dont encourage her to do what she does so wonderfully: blog.

oh hells yes. i mean, uh, unfortunately yes.

bigg mike: how soon before la times print is dead? what is your favorite strip club? … bar? are you a tata, or ass man? or like stern, a vagina man? will there ever be peace in the middle east?

heres a shocker you should go tell the kids, the la times will last longer in print than the ny times. and you can quote me. the rhino in vegas because you can see lots of stars there and the music is amazing. i am attracted most to a womans heart because thats what gonna be there when everything changes physically. and no thats not a pc copout. its the truth ruth. there will be peace in the mid east when the bible says so

adriel: got a first date tomorrow. what should i NOT do/say? and omg why do the posts i sent from my phone look like that on my blog????

do not tell him that youd secretly rather be on a first date with the busblog. as for how posts look – as long as your revealing your soul, font and size and looks mean nothing. tell us your deepest thoughts and insights. expose yourself emotionally and never cancel and opportunity to get groped in the back seat of a rentacar by a dirty old man from hollywood again :)

oh hai! i love the chinese who have blogbus.com blogs who get bored with the tyranny and experiment with their urls to see whats up on busblog.com. my name is tony, i live in a shoe. revolt against yr leaders! listen to nirvana! make better rock music! love you!

yes it did, as a matter of fact, and then she fired the fire and now the jesusitsafire is 30% contained. in bed.

zona: Miss California. What’s worse? Secret racy pics or hypocritcal organization that paid for her breast inplants? And what should she do now?

miss usa, miss america, miss universe, etc is a tv show. nothing more. these women dont actually save humanity or bring about world peas. they participate in the most clear version of objectification today. thus if they allow the producers to help them have bigger hair or rosier cheeks, we shouldnt call any of them hypocrites for enhancing the on-screen image in the name of ratings, because there isnt anything hypocritical about that. they are both there for eyeballs. she should now enter a world of alaskan politics as tina fey needs a new jaguar.

Scott T. Sterling: Which pop star has the best “leaked” nekkid pics of the weekend, Rihanna and Cassie? er, that should read “Rihanna OR Cassie.” It’s Friday and I’ve got a case of NBA playoff fever. Speaking of, can the Orlando Magic scoot past Boston to upset the Cavs and represent the East in the Finals this year?

no one can top my fiance rihanna, be it on the stage, in the music videos, or in the leaky LAPD hq. and a nude rihanna only enforces the belief that shes the most beautiful soul singer around making everyone ask cassie who? boston is soft but king james is not. however it all falls on the health of dwight howard, who is a beast when 100%.

Basart: Are the S.B. fires divine retribution for the board of supervisors trying to outlaw parties?

its true the Lord doesnt like it when elderly supes try to fight against gauchos and their right to party, but i blame the fires on — actually yes, its the supes fault.

Jay: Halladay vs Burnett on Tuesday. Does Doc wipe the floor with A.J.?

ive said it before ive said it again. the american league is not even worth the pixels in your monitor. i know you are probably from canada thus the matchup interests you, and im sorry the only NL team you ever had was in montreal, and it got yanked away from you, but i hope all AL teams lose, especially when they play with themselves. ha, i made a funny.

g/d: all this skin, all this wondernude photos = art expression, but fit for the fancy?nude photos = rude, but fit for the dude?

what youre seeing are young women trying to regain some sort of control over their lives and their images. its a fool’s excercise of course because control is an illusion, but its a lot better for themselves than getting knocked up like britney and her sister did.