FAT PEOPLE ‘EAT TOO MUCH’

FAT PEOPLE ‘EAT TOO MUCH’

– Cream Buns named in Shock Food Report

Eat too much and you could get fat, according to a report published this week. Specific foods singled out for attention include cream buns, chocolate cake and jam doughnuts.

According to a survey carried out for no particular reason, many people in Britain are already overweight. And the report goes on to claim that people who are fat:

take up more room than other people

wear bigger clothes

and are more likely to damage furniture.

CHOCOLATES

We took these startling claims onto the streets to gauge the public’s reaction. Mrs Hilary Foster, 46, agreed that cream buns were fattening, while her friend, 40 year old Margaret Harrison claimed that she had occasionally eaten chocolates but suffered no ill effects.

SWISS ROLL

Shopkeeper Paul Willis, 27, admitted that several fat people had visited his shop in the past and had purchased food items among other things. The manager of a nearby restaurant refused to comment on claims that fat people were among his best customers.

TRIFLE

A woman we later watched enter the restaurant was visibly overweight, but refused to tell us what she was eating or how heavy she was. Her husband then became abusive and we were asked to leave the premises.

A spokesman for the British Medical Authority told us he had not seen the report, and did not wish to make any comment.