The Average Male Townie:
> Wears fake burberry cap
> Wears fake burberry cap at a 360 degree angle
> Smokes about 50 fags a day
> Drinks anything as long as it has alcohol in it
> Wears "trackies" and bright white nike trainers
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Tucks "trackie bottoms" into their white umbro / fake burberry socks
> Refers to fellow female townies as "mah bitches" or "mah hoes"
> Has brown hair with the ends dyed - meant to be blonde but ends up orange
> Wears "Schott" jacket - 100% polyester and very poofy with the label "Schott" splashed along the back of it. Some townies unable to afford such expensive clothing tend to wear "Scott" jackets
> Have their ear pierced with a huge fake diamond earring
> Wears excessive amounts of Lynx aftershave and seems to believe that all normal humans want to smell like that too - tend to spray aftershave in anyone-who-is-not-a-townies face
> Refer to fellow male townies as "bruv"
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Enjoys listening to hip hop, R 'n' B, and any female who does not wear much clothing at all
> Shoplift from their local market
> Is never seen without their mobile phones - always in the latest model
> Hangs around in large gangs
> Hangs around by places like One Stop and the 'green'

The Average Female Townie:
> Has excessive facial piercings
> Has dyed platinum blond hair with about two inches of natural coloured roots showing
> Hates anyone who is not a part of the Townie Race
> Wears tiny little tops which show as much breast as physically possible
> Wears tiny little skirts which are shorter than a normal persons belt
> Have a very short vocabulary
> Wears clothes by the label "Playboy"
> Always makes sure that their thongs are on show
> Have their hair scraped back into a high ponytail or bun
> Also wear bright white Nike trainers
> Wears many gold chains and rings
> Wears layers and layers of foundation
> Wears layers and layers of fake tan over that
> Are pregnant by the age of 10
> Also wear "Schott" jackets
> Hangs around in large groups
> Hangs around in places like One Stop or the 'green'
> Listens to hip hop, R 'n' B and any male who wears excessive amounts of chains and who possesses a six pack.
> Shoplift from their local market

There are many of this species about - they are spreading like a disease. You must be cautious at all times as you may find yourself gradually adapting to their kind. If you see anyone of this kind approaching, turn around and walk away. DO NOT APPROACH THESE SPECIES.

Here are a few expressions that this dangerous kind might use:

"Sick bruv" - cool or great

"Yer ma'e" - Yes

"I'll give ya beats" - I want to hurt you

"Bling" - jewellery

"Ma homies" - my friends

"Your mum" - Definition UNKNOWN. Many people have tried to define this fascinating expression into English and I have reached the conclusion that in fact, it is just a phrase in which townies resort to using because they cannot think of anything else to say.

In the United States, a "townie" of college age has always been someone who never left their hometown, and adult "townies" are those old guys in college towns who hang around the bars wondering when the semester's going to end and all these damn college kids are going to go home.

1) Joe is so a townie. He never left Woburn and I hear he's going to community college there. And hangs around the highschoolers at Breakers.

2) We gotta get out of this bar, man, there's too many townies glaring at us.

A townie is an arrogant piece of shit who normally walks around town centres. Other words for them are chav,towny and general piece of crap.
Female townies are usually known as hoes or bitches and are usually sluts. They also carry lots of infections that the decent people in the world punks, skaters], greebos should stay well clear of.
The male species normally fink they are "solid" and av lots of "respec'" thats respect spelt badly. Their clothes are normally bought from the local market and although they have names on these are often Borberry (cheap burberry) badidas 9 adidas rip-offs) and often Nice (If you squint it looks like Nike)
Lots of them claim they "boned their hoes" when they were 5 but have of ten neva come into contact id someone of the opposite sex except for when buying cheap alcahol at Threshers.

1. The female species of townie usually wear slutty tops that barely cover their nipples, and mini-skirts that barely cover their ass-crack. They also tend to wear make-up which makes their face look orange, and bright white eyeshadow which blind u if you look at it.

2. The male species wear trackies(with th double stripe down the side of their leg and arm) along with polished white trainers and a cap sticky-taped to the back of their heads, so that it can point towards the sky. Most of this can be bought from JJB, and other such classy stores.

3. Townies have a very distinguished way of "speaking", though most of the time u cant understand what their saying.

4. They hang around in large groups, usually outside shops such as Blockbusters, morrisons, tesco's etc... (mainly bcoz they hav been banned from coming within 10 miles of any respectable places) and can usually b found blasting their "music" out of their crappy cars in the middle of the night.

5. Townies listen mainly to pop and garage (people like peter andre and 'gangstas' who wud actually be shot if they put one foot in the ghetto)

An example of some perfectly formed townies are a group of girls who i had an arguement wiht the other day. Aswell as not being able to look at the main 'speaker' incase i was blinded bt her orange mask of foundation and blinding eyeshadow, i had to keep asking her to repeat herself, as all i cud hear was a loud screeching sound.
NOTE: NEVER answer a townie back. i did, and it didnt get me very far. the hole group looked like they were about to sit on me, but after shoving me around for a bit, they gave up as it wasnt gettin them very far either.
townies tend to feel like they hav 2 win th arguement. afta realising she wasnt winning, the leader of th group tld her frend she wanted 'to keep sayin stuff to me cuz I was being mouthy!' though she never actually came any closer.