THIS week’s been full of surprises. First of all, well done to diving star Tom Daley, who made a truly brave and courageous revelation this week.

That’s right, he’s signed up for another series of Splash. All the best there, mate.

Another big surprise, the Pope revealed he once worked as a nightclub bouncer in Argentina.

He probably thought if he stuck in there he might get St Peter’s gig at the gates of heaven.

Apparently, he used to flatten troublemakers with a brilliant right hook. He called it his immaculate connection.

He could maybe get a job in Norwich, where clubbers may soon have to take a breath test as part of a trial scheme.

That said, I know a few bouncers well used to checking blood-alcohol levels. Usually by smacking someone in the chops, then mopping up the nosebleed.

I was also pleasantly surprised to find out that Carol Vorderman had got her pilot’s licence. She says it’s her dream to fly round the world. And it’s our dream for her to fly halfway round it and stay there.

And fellow Countdown star Rachel Riley stunned us by revealing she’s left her husband just over a year after they married. Presumably he was fed up of strange men asking her for two from the top, one from the bottom.

She obviously learned a lot on Strictly Come Dancing – how to do the splits.

That said, Abbey Clancy was given the first perfect score on the latest Strictly series last weekend. Her routine was bright, polished and beautifully put together by an expert. Much like her teeth.

Then surprise turned to pure shock as Phil Collins announced he’s coming out of retirement and is writing songs again.

Great, another reason to hate George Osborne for messing with pensions.

Big George has also welcomed a new dog to Downing Street this week, a young pup called Lola. George enjoyed teaching her how to beg. Aye, along with the rest of us, mate.

So at least the famous folk have kept us all on our toes this week. Unless the shock revelations were actually all carefully planned. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised.

? An enterprising Big Issue seller down south now accepts card payments with his own chip-and-pin machine. We’ve got something similar. Our jakeys are now accepting payment by chips and cheese.

? Robbie Williams has reportedly purchased Michael Winner’s old home for £17million. Ironically, when Robbie’s wife found out he paid that much he spent the rest of the day going, “Calm down, dear”.

? Apparently, the EastEnders Christmas Day show will also be the funniest for years. Only three folk are going to die, rather than the usual seven.