Sunday, March 26, 2006

San Francisco Giants (75-87, .463, 3rd in NL West)

The Giants are so old... How old are they?

The Giants are sooooo old that Barry Bonds farts dust. Wait, that may be a side effect from the roids. Umm, oh, OK, the Giants are so old that when Moises Alou pees on his hands now, he does it three times in the middle of the night and spends most of BP complaining about his prostate.

Oh, and Steve Finley doesn't have to worry about his wife beating him anymore because she's in a home. Or dead. In a home or dead. Dead because of natural causes...

Let's assume that none of these guys breaks a hip out there and we're still left with Barry's big mess. I just can't see this team playing through the dual distractions of Bonds' home run chase and the steroid story. There are already two books out on him and there have to be more in the works. Oh, and he has yet to really run on that knee.

He keeps making excuses about why he's not running, but the other day he watched a ball drop 15 feet in front of him. That's not a great sign for the Giants. He can't be benched and the NL can't hide him as a DH and a hobbled left fielder isn't the best compliment to an ancient right fielder. I don't care who they put in center, even if Bonds was healthy there will be some sizeable alleys to hit to against San Francisco.

Nothing about this team really impresses me and there are too many things to go wrong in the dugout. Put it this way - while I hope that the White Sox clubhouse gets the spark to start up that tinderbox, I think the Giants will just have a season-long smolder that will poison them from wire to wire.