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Sunday, March 2, 2014

Old Man Ed Better Pull Through...Or Else

We have some news to share with you. We think you might be excited. You might even wet your panties over it. We are going to Opening Day together. It'll just be the two of us for the Mets on March 31st, but for the Yankees' game on April 7th, we will have an old man with us. The tickets to the Mets are officially purchased, but we are not currently in possession of Yankees tickets. Old Man Ed assures us that he'll be getting them. This seems awfully familiar. Like the time Joel said that he'd be running in the Spartan Sprint and then never registered. He also never sent us a training program like he promised. Fail, fail, fail. If Old Man Ed fails to acquire tickets, we're blaming this on Derek Jeter. That selfish prick just HAD to announce his retirement. It's all about him. What an ass. He's just jealous of all the presents Mariano Rivera got last year. Our back up plan is that we will spend the game at Billy's. Lisa will rub up against guidos and Old Man Ed will pay for our drinks because he made promises that he couldn't keep. Either way, you will be getting an Opening Day blog post. Yet, another New Year's resolution checked off. It's only the beginning of March and we've already accomplished so much. No more Kitty and now Opening Day. Boom. Encouragement.

In other good news, St. Patrick's Day is just around the corner. Now that we have Instagram, you're in for a world full of hurt. Because we're going to make you laugh so hard, you'll piss yourselves. Of course, you'll also get an epic blog post.