For those of you who have expressed concern, (all one of you) I AM a Pleiadian Ascended Master, and the Pleiadian messages I publish come through my higher self while I am in 6D vibration in The Akashic Records. There are no negative beings messing with me. I am very highly protected by the Ascended Masters of my Akashic Team who care deeply about humanity and our ascension.

To the individual who expressed concern, you are still entertaining the vibration of fear. The message regarding the PTW and The Lion’s Gate did not say to “do nothing.” It said to move into higher vibration and create a more peaceful existence. The Ascended Masters of The Pleiadian Ring of 500 advised us to not pour into the streets in protest because these actions are fueled by lower fear-based vibrations, which is exactly what the PTW want – to keep us in fight or flight mode. “They” will keep provoking us during this crucial time of The Lion’s Gate portal opening. When we are tense, we cannot receive our light codes that allow us to ascend to the next level of consciousness.

I’ve asked my Akashic Team of Ascended Masters special questions just for you so that you can better understand the true intention here and also benefit from the Lion’s Gate Portal opening before it’s too late. (The Gate closes on August 12, 2016.)

Questions for the “concerned.”

My dear Akashic Team of Ascended Masters (which includes Jesus/Sananda, Mary Magdalene/Lady Nada, Ram, Babaji, Quan Yin, Serapis Bey, St. Germaine, Lady Portia, Archangels Michael, Gabriel, Rapahel, Uriel, Chamuel, Jophiel, Zadkiel and Lord Metatron… just to name a few) I ask you for your assistance in making some clarifications regarding your message about the PTW and Lion’s Gate we published on August 1, 2016. Here are some questions for you to answer…

Why is there this insistence lately that “channeled” Pleiadian messages are actually 4D beings of the Illuminati telepathically messing with lightworkers who channel messages? Is this even possible?

If the person channeling information is only of 4D vibration (in worry, fear or doubt), it is possible they could be receiving mixed messages or interference from 4D beings. In order to ensure a secure line of communication, we highly recommend that the individuals who wish to channel true messages of light first take the time to cleanse themselves, protect themselves, move into 5D vibration of unconditional love and trust, and access their personal Akashic Records. The Pathway Prayer shifts the individual into a 6D vibration as their records are accessed, and the communication that flows is completely protected from interference by 4D beings.

What vibration was I in when I wrote your message yesterday for humanity’s benefit?

You had secured the 9D vibration of Master Teacher since you were receiving messages from your Ascended Master Higher Self.

Back to the first question, why would 4D beings of the Illuminati pretend to be Pleiadian Star Family and mess with lightworkers?

This was happening a little bit around the end of the Mayan Calendar, when they were still trying to carry out their planned fake alien invasion. Most lightworkers have ascended into a 5D vibration now, and it is no longer possible for 4D beings to mess about with those who have ascended. Their plan was to get everyone excited about their star families and UFO sightings and landings. Their plan backfired, however, since 80 percent of the human population is from the Pleiades star system and many have been receiving real communication and visits from their true Pleiadian families. Here’s how to tell the difference: if the energy feels loving and positive, it’s really your star family. In the past, if it felt sketchy or off in some way, it may have been a 4D being trying to pose as Pleiadian as a means to try to promote their agenda. Those who have moved into higher consciousness and vibration know and feel the difference immediately when a 4D being tries to pose, but the majority of these beings have been removed and isolated at this point. When in doubt, however, access the Akashic Records and there will be no reason to worry.

Suggestion was made that your message was from 4D beings who want us to “do nothing” because you said to not pour into the streets in protest. The insinuation was that the 4D Reptilian Cabalists would try to convince us to not fight and just submit to them. What is your response to this?

The Cabalists feed off your fear-based energy. Of COURSE they want you to “fight.” It gives them more power. Angry protestors are like protein for them. Why do you think they create so many false-flag events? To fuel your fire, of course. And, if you rise up and revolt, it gives them more reason to use their weaponry against you: tear gas, tasers, rubber bullets, real bullets, and a variety of other riot-control toys they have created to ensure that you will incur some sort of disease or damage that will require medical or pharmaceutical attention the rest of your life. Cha-ching. More money in their pockets. This is why we tell you to NOT protest. There is no longer a need to fight when you have light codes available to all of you RIGHT NOW that enable you to rise in vibration and consciousness, beyond fear. When you no longer fear them, they no longer control you. Plain and simple.

We know the best way is to unplug from their media agenda, but what is the best way to deal with others in our households or those we may have to encounter in public who insist on discussing what the media is pushing?

Know that it is not necessary to lower your vibration to match theirs. Find some way to bring them up to your vibration. Change the subject, if necessary. Ask about what they love. For some, it’s their children or grandchildren. For others, pets. For still others it may be travel or sport or hobbies or other interests. Simply turn their attention from the negative to the positive. Focus on the good and help them do the same.

For those who truly want to take advantage of this Lion’s Gate, what is the best way for them to go about it? You mentioned a few things, such as replacing media viewing with chanting, singing, dancing, crafting, tinkering, etc. What about people who are not into the things you mentioned?

We suggest doing whatever brings you the most joy and requires you to focus all of your attention and creativity into that activity. Joy is peace. Love is peace. Relaxing is peace. If you’d rather sleep, by all means, that counts, too!

How does this help humanity?

It’s all about Collective Consciousness, dear ones. When the majority of humanity is at peace, the rest will follow. The time for fear and fighting is over. It serves no purpose, as you all have learned. When you move into higher vibration and consciousness and live in joy, you make it easier for those around you to do the same. The majority of your collective hearts and minds wants peace and harmony for humanity. Now all that is required is to actually move your hearts and minds into that vibration. That is what the Lion’s Gate light codes will enable you to do.

Thank you, my Akashic Team!

I hope this helps clarify some things for those of you still harboring fear, worry and doubt. Best wishes to you all! ~ Jen/Master Sarah/Brighid/Scarborough

Have you noticed lately that some of the most non-spiritual people in your life – or on your “friends list” – are suddenly posting esoteric memes or using phrases like, “soul mate” or “twin-flame soul mate,” even? I mean, I’m talking about people who don’t even believe in reincarnation. When I started to witness this, I thought, “Oh, boy, here we go. #Twin-flame will soon be trending on Twitter. Time to consult with my Akashic Records and create a list of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ).”

Because, let’s face it, we THINK we know what twin flames are and all that. But, when it’s all said and done, we really don’t. Some are still stuck spinning their wheels thinking their twin-flame soul mate is the ONLY one for them and that, even though they are estranged now, that is the person they will be with one day. And, until that day, they will drown in a sea of sorrow. This is the kind of mentality we need to nip in the bud, for it serves NO ONE. Trust me. I waited five years for my twin-flame to come back around, and even though we did reunite “one more time,” it did not last and was nothing but a huge disappointment. What I learned from it: I deserve MUCH better. And so do you. And this is why I challenged my Akashic team to set the record straight and get the truth about all these human-ego ideas we read about twin-flame soul mates when everything comes crashing down – even after we loved without conditions and took every exhausting “test” and “challenge” our twin flames threw at us, accepted every “mirrored reflection” they showed us and integrated it into our own unconditional self love and it still wasn’t good enough.

Most twin-flame gurus will tell you that you’re estranged from your twin flame because you “still have work to do,” or that you “need to work on yourself more; love yourself more.” Even after you’ve done all the therapy and loved yourself raw and you’re still finding yourself alone, you’re still thinking, because THE GURUS said so, that you can’t make it to 5D without a harmonious reunion with your twin-flame soul mate. You believe without this unconditional love for yourself and each other, you simply cannot ascend. Some may even try to tell you that the one you believe to be your twin-flame was actually a “false twin” or a “catalyst,” leaving you even more confused than ever before. That’s the last thing you need when you feel like you can’t breathe… can’t function… can’t even LIVE anymore.

So I decided it’s time for us to really dig for the truth about this twin-flame business. (See what I did there?) Using some of the “information” found around the internet that never resonated with me about twin-flame soul mates as well as some questions from my clients, I created the following list and asked for my Akashic team to please reveal the truth for all of us.

I asked my Akashic Records:

What are twin-flame soul mates?

Twin-flame soul mates are two souls that have split from one light being, much like identical twin humans have split into two beings from one egg.

Does every light being split into twin-flame soul mates?

No, not every light being does this.

Why do some beings split into twin-flame soul mates?

This is often done by beings who incarnate into a physical embodiment on a physical planet, such as Earth. The main reason is to have two aspects of the one soul – either both incarnated or only one incarnated while the other stays in spirit – to assist in the evolution of the soul.

Let’s focus on those who incarnate together for a moment. What is their purpose together? Why do they incarnate together?

Ultimately, twin-flame soul mates incarnate together to push each other onto the path of unconditional self love and to harmoniously reunite in unconditional love for each other. As far as mission or purpose to serve together once harmoniously reunited, it all depends on the contracts they make together before incarnation. They may also be in contract with other soul mates to help teach lessons to them. For example: the twin-flame soul mates incarnate on Earth as an interracial couple to help teach their respective families tolerance and love for other races. It can be as simple and complicated as that. At the same time, they may be in contract with one another to teach each other the same lesson and so many more that come along with cultural differences and learned prejudices. In short, the missions are usually to help teach unconditional love and bring peace to Earth.

Do twin-flame soul mates always incarnate with the intention of being romantic partners or sexual partners, and if so, why?

Mostly, yes. But some may choose to change it up and create some very challenging situations by being born to the same bloodline. Twin-flame soul mates mostly incarnate with the intention of being romantic sexual partners because there is a bond and a trust there like no other. The sharing of Kundalini energy is also very powerful, especially between twin-flame soul mates because of the sacred, spiritual bond that exists between them.

But wouldn’t this be much like having sex with yourself, in a way? Or your twin sibling?

With yourself, yes. Twin sibling, no.

Why would we want to have sex with ourselves, though? That seems a bit narcissistic.

Who do you trust most when it comes to such intimacy?

Why, then, if there is this sacred trust, is it so hard for twin-flame soul mates to stay together? Why is there always a runner and a chaser?

There’s not always a runner and a chaser. It seems that way, but that is not always the case. What creates the difficulty is the human ego entertaining the lower, fear-based energies. Each life experience is different. The difficulties and hardships faced in every life are what form and shape the ego-learned fears. It is possible to have two runners, just as it is possible to have two highly spiritual beings who are committed and willing to stay together through thick and thin. To have a constant game of chase in every life would be madness, and that is not every twin-flame story. We know that this is a common philosophy regarding twin-flame soul mates, and we would like to state that this is not the absolute truth; this is an ego-based philosophy based on a sampling or case-study of human experiences in your current now. It is not completely accurate.

Since we are on the subject of twin-flame myths, there is one floating out there that twin flames always incarnate as the same gender. What is the truth regarding this belief?

Not true. Although a specific gender may be preferred, all souls have incarnated as both genders numerous times.

So that brings us to a few more twin-flame myths. Some believe that the one soul splits into a masculine energy and a feminine energy. What is the truth regarding this belief, and, do the twin souls share one higher self, or do they each have their own?

When we talk of souls, what we are talking about is conscious energy known as light beings. They are genderless when not incarnated in physical bodies, and they have an equal balance of masculine and feminine energy. That is not to say that they don’t favor or project more of one energy than the other, however, which is the same for human beings. Each twin soul has its own higher self identity.

What about twin-flame soul mates who incarnate as the same gender together? Is their intention also to be romantic or sexual partners?

Yes, most of the time. These are usually more experienced and evolved souls who have learned that love transcends gender, and it is their mission to teach the younger souls incarnated on Earth this lesson – that love is love – regardless of gender, race, religion or culture. These souls are the strongest and bravest, and they usually incarnate with their twin-flame soul mate knowing they will need to rely on each other in such courageous efforts.

What about those twin-flame soul mates who cannot succeed in their union with each other? What happens to their “mission” they agreed to serve together?

They cannot complete their mission if they cannot overcome their issues to unite and serve together. Contracts can be rewritten, however, by the higher selves.

There is another myth out there that twin-flame soul mates must reunite in order for the souls to ascend into the 5D vibration. What is the truth regarding this belief?

It is not true. First of all, most souls are already of 5D vibration. Twin-flame soul mates incarnate together to assist one another in their individual soul evolution as human beings. The secret to achieving the 5D Christ Consciousness vibration while incarnated as a human being is self mastery and self love. Once the ego is tamed and the need to compare, judge and criticize (self or others) no longer exists, then it is time to move into unconditional love and complete and total acceptance of the self. Self love must be achieved by both individuals before unconditional love for each other can thrive. Unconditional love does not necessarily mean that the two marry or live together or even remain a couple; it means that they are able to love and accept one another as they are, and they are able to let go of old ego attachments to allow one another to be free and happy. For most twins, this does mean that they stay together as a couple. For others, it means that they lovingly let each other go and truly wish them well for the remainder of their journey without feeling longing or need for one another.

In the Twin Flame “guru” world here on Earth, some terms are being thrown around that only add confusion. The first is: catalyst. The second is: false twin flame. Sometimes the terms are being presented as interchangeable; other times they are presented as two different things. What can you tell us about catalysts and false twin flames?

There is no such thing as a “false” twin flame. There are some soul mates who will serve as “near” twin flames, to prepare individuals for their real twin-flame. The near twin will challenge those hang ups that may arise with your twin flame and help you hurdle some of the smaller issues to clear the way. The difference here is that you will feel this near twin is your soul mate until you discover your twin-flame soul mate and discover how much deeper you can go into love. A catalyst could be anyone, really, but usually is a member of your soul group who comes along to shake up your soul mate relationship so that you can move onto your twin-flame, but this really only occurs in extreme cases. Catalysts are not always necessary. Most go directly from the near-twin soul mate experience to the twin-flame soul mate. Some may confuse the actual twin-flame as a catalyst if the first reunion attempt is fast and furious and a failure (which is common if the near twin did not fully accomplish its mission). Catalysts are a one-time thing. There is always a sense of rockiness with a catalyst, so when the relationship is over, it’s over. There’s no going back, and both parties strongly feel this way. With a twin-flame separation, a constant longing is always felt by both parties and it cannot be shaken, despite the hurt they may have caused one another in their first reunion attempt.

There is still another myth out there that we have more than one twin-flame soul mate. What can you tell us about this belief?

It is true that higher selves create many aspects of themselves in physical bodies, so, in theory, there are individuals walking Earth (and other planets) who share the same higher self. Although it is rare, there are special cases in which an incarnate being wishes to discontinue its life, but the higher self wants to continue, so contracts are rearranged and that individual encounters another aspect of its twin-flame counterpart in the same life. We want to reiterate that this is extremely rare, but it is possible. For the most part, higher selves have already decided in advance which aspects will be paired together.

Why do so many people have problems with their twin-flame soul mates hurting them?

Sometimes it is contracted; most of the time, however, it is not intentional, but, rather a result of a lack of self love which can be manifested in many different ways, including addictions, (substance or alcohol, prescription drugs, tobacco, sex, pornography, pedophilia, food… the list goes on and on) low self-esteem, self-mutilation, self-deprecation/sabotage, mental illness, physical dis-ease and illness, anxiety, depression and more.

Some suggest that there are negative beings on Earth who want to prevent twin-flame soul mates from reuniting. What is the truth in this regard?

It is true. They are the ones who create obstacles we just mentioned to keep the human ego in lower vibration.

What happens when a twin-flame couple fails and separates and one is able to raise vibration into self love while the other is unable to rise and stays in lower vibration? Does this mean that the one who achieves unconditional self-love never gets the opportunity to reunite with his/her twin-flame for that incarnation?

In this case it is possible for those other aspects of the higher selves of the twin-flames to reshuffle and begin attracting to those who are of similar vibration. So those aspects who achieve unconditional self love begin pairing up, while those who choose to stay in lower vibration either find another aspect who matches their vibration, or they remain alone or settle for someone else who is not a twin-flame who is of equal vibration.

What if there is no match for the higher vibrating aspect to reunite with? What happens to that aspect?

This is where walk-in situations will occur. These contracts are usually in place before incarnation with soul group mates who are willing to “trade higher selves” if their own twin-flame union fails or if they have incarnated without their twin-flame (which is usually the case). The other option is for a twin-soul attract once unconditional self-love is achieved because this 5D vibration is the same as harmoniously reuniting with a twin-flame soul mate. Or the higher vibrating aspect will most likely be perfectly happy flying solo since there is really no need for a partner once unconditional self love is achieved.

What is a twin soul? How is a twin-soul different than a twin-flame?

This is the whole-soul twin of your higher self. One who is of higher vibration who has also achieved unconditional self love. You will find you have more in common with your twin soul than you do with your twin-flame and that your differences don’t matter at all; unconditional love is free-flowing and drama is at an all-time low.

So what is better, a harmoniously reunited pair of twin-flame souls or a reunited pair of twin souls?

If the twin-flame souls have each achieved unconditional self-love (which is the only way for them to be harmoniously reunited) then there really is no difference. It is about vibration. Soul mates will only attract to one another when they share a similar vibration; they repel when they are discordant in vibration. If one half of a twin-flame pair achieves the 5D vibration alone, that half automatically becomes a whole – with or without a partner who is an aspect of the other half. All are one, you see. So whether the 5D vibration is achieved with or without the other half, it is still a successful union into a whole for the half who achieved unconditional self love. It’s the vibration that counts. Not the union.

What happens to the lower vibrating twin, then, if the higher vibrating twin moves into union with a higher vibrating aspect or twin-soul?

The lower vibrating twin may move into union with another aspect who is a match in vibration or the higher-self may opt out and a walk-in situation may occur for that individual.

So what the heck is the twin-flame union even FOR then?

Twin flames serve as mirrors to one another, to show where there is an imbalance (between masculine and feminine energy) or to reflect those issues of self-esteem that need work for unconditional self-love to be achieved. The union is also usually a lesson in what unconditional love really is – as opposed to conditional or emotional attachments. Twin flame unions – whether successful or not – help awaken and guide each half toward the path to unconditional self love. Unconditional self love is what is necessary in order for the collective to rise and ultimately bring and maintain peace on Earth. When humans achieve unconditional self love, they no longer feel a need to judge, criticize, compare or compete. Instead they prefer to express compassion and compliment and help one another. And this is what Earth needs in order to heal and thrive.

So there you have it, friends. Straight from the Akashic Records. For those of you ambitious enough to change your ways and raise your vibration, there’s not “just one” possibility in the twin-flame arena. There are higher vibrating options if you feel you need a partner to help “get you there.” For those of you flying solo, isn’t it nice to know that you can achieve the 5D vibration on your own by mastering human ego and achieving unconditional self love? And isn’t it nice to know there are those accomplished whole-soul, twin-soul counterparts awaiting you when you reach the summit if you go it alone? So why waste another day pining for someone stuck in low gear? Start loving yourself and raise your vibration so you can attract a healthier, happier life partner (who just happens to have the same higher self as that original twin-flame). Or why not just fly solo? You already have everything you need inside you, and once you achieve unconditional self love, you complete yourself and the 5D vibration. Who better to love you without conditions than YOU? Trust. Fly!

Are you the type of person who makes a list of resolutions each New Year, or do you prefer to let go of the steering wheel and let Universe drive?

Well, regardless of your approach, it never hurts to know a little more about your soul purpose and mission for this life. It may also be a great time to consult with your Akashic team regarding your game plan for 2015. Here are a few starter questions to ponder for a New Year Akashic reading:

How can I ensure that this year will be my best year for… (fill in the blank; here are some suggestions: love, luck, career success, abundance/prosperity, soul evolution, improved health…)?

What are the things I need to learn to help me… (fill in the blank; here are some suggestions: improve my spiritual gifts, improve my relationship(s) at work, home or in my social circles, evolve emotionally…)?

How can I gain better control over my… (fill in the blank; here are some suggestions: thoughts, ego, emotions, personal vibration, reality…)?

What kinds of things can I do to love myself more?

How can I let go of… (fill in the blank; here are some suggestions: my anger regarding…, my fear of…, the belief that…)?

Of course, you can ask whatever you want. These are merely suggestions. Your Akashic team is always happy to help you understand how you came to be who you are and why you are who you are, but remember, regardless of other lives and your current past, there really is no better time than the present to raise your vibration and change your reality to attract what you desire most for yourself and your loved ones.

In this moment… there is only now! Why not learn how to master that human ego and begin creating a more loving, patient, gracious, healthier self who attracts everything s/he desires with a more positive vibration? You really do have that power. Tap into it!

Please remember to always give a little background with your questions, provide full legal names and dates of birth and relations for people you are asking about (and whether they are incarnate or in spirit, and whether or not you have personally met them), and also to form your questions using: Who, what, where, why, or how. When questions cannot and will not be answered. Yes/no questions and “should I” questions also cannot be answered. Please also refrain from asking five more questions within one question.

A donation of $6 – $12 per question is suggested based on what you can afford. (PayPal takes fifty cents out of every $5 sent to me via donation, so I have had to adjust the range a tiny bit.)

Referral Rewards Program

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What happens when a 23-year-old enlightened Crystalline Child asks his Akashic Records why things that are seemingly going right in his life always crumble?

You get a no-holds-barred, refreshingly AMAZING answer about the law of attraction from THE COOLEST AKASH EVER!!!

I was so diggin’ this Akash and the manner in which it answered that I asked this young lightworker for his permission to share this reading on my blog at FreerSpirit.com, and, proving to be the devoted Crystalline light bringer that he is, he obligingly agreed! So, without further ramble, here it is… pure, Divine wisdom… with a slash of sass.

The question:

Why does it seem that things always seem to go right, but only temporarily before they crumble? And it seems to be a cycle.

The answer:

Ah, yes, indeed, it is a cycle. Such is the frustration of living on a planet serving up hearty portions of duality and polarity on a daily basis! You have to remember, always, that there on Earth school, you are hindered with ego/mind/logic that tends to want to rule over the heart. That is what is called free will, but it sometimes runs amuck and leads you straight into dead ends or roundabouts that spit you right back where you started. The problem here is that the ego wants to constantly play “Devil’s Advocate,” and even though you know in your heart that something is meant to be by your own Divine Will (and it always is!) that dastardly ego starts running the looping sequence of the “fear and doubt” reel. Remember that your thoughts have great power; they manifest your reality! One negative thought or fear or doubt while everything is going right can derail the success train right into failureville.

The name of the entire game of physical embodiment is “silence the ego (mind/thoughts), follow the heart.” And this is where you must be vigilant. Expecto Patronum. Don’t think that the Harry Potter books/movies don’t hold codes and clues and tips for success for your generation, enlightened one. You can beat the darkness with the light and certainty of your own heart, and when you do, you will experience the sustainable success that you seek. Worry, fear and doubt are wasted energy. Spend your energy retraining your heart and mind to focus on what you want and ONLY what you want. Match your vibration to the thrill of receiving what you want and reinforce it all with constant gratitude. Be grateful in both mind and vibration for all that you love and cherish many times daily, and you will surely see more of it manifest into your life.

Gratitude is the one thing everyone forgets, and, without it, you cannot continue to manifest what you want because the law of attraction is not receiving input from you whether this is what you want or not, and, as soon as your vibration drops into the fearful and doubtful thoughts of losing what you have, the magnetism/attraction falls to the wayside because you allowed your vibration to drop. Vibration and gratitude together are KEY. What you FEEL must match what you desire (or your thoughts about what you want) in order to attract those things. Once you feel disappointed in what you have attracted or even feel fearful of losing what you have attracted… woosh… there it goes… bye bye, right along with that high vibration you were carrying when you first attracted it into your life.

In order to KEEP what you attract, you MUST maintain that high vibration and gratitude you felt when you first attracted it. This life is no longer about experience, enlightened one. It is about MASTERY. And here is the wisdom you seek: YOU are the ONLY ONE who controls YOUR vibration. How can you keep from becoming disappointed? First, expect NOTHING. Second, be grateful for EVERYTHING you wish to attract and keep in your life. Third, HOLD THE LIGHT. BE THE LIGHT. MAINTAIN THE LIGHT. Fourth, no judgement. Judge no one. Judge nothing. Not even yourself. Fifth, if you fail at judging, first forgive yourself, and then forgive everyone else. Sixth, take nothing personally – especially the criticism and judgment others put upon you, for that is their stuff, not yours, and it really has nothing at all to do with you. So maintain your vibration and the light within you. Allow it to shine brightly upon others as well. It is, after all, what you are here for, enlightened one.

Over the past few years, I have conducted several Akashic soul readings in which my clients have asked, “How can I attract my twin-flame soul mate?” The answers from their Akashic Records, although usually different in wording and style, all share some consistent advice, the top two being: raise your vibration and love yourself without conditions first and foremost.

Many people feel they should save ALL of their love for their twin-flame soul mate, but please allow me to emphatically express why this should NEVER be the case. First of all, twin-flame relationships are the MOST difficult you will ever encounter unless you are both highly spiritually evolved and fully vibrating with 5D Christ Consciousness (which, most likely, you are not). Secondly, twin flames will mirror to each other all faults, flaws, and fears that need to be addressed and eradicated before either of you can be spiritually evolved enough to fully vibrate at a 5D frequency. This is where ego usually comes in and destroys everything, which leads to the third reason you should love yourself first and foremost: the runner dynamic.

Each and every twin-flame relationship is comprised of two souls that have either split from one OR who are twin whole souls; opinions and theories about this differ from one self-proclaimed “expert” to another. Some say that one of the “twins” is more spiritually mature by nature and can “hold the light” or “flame,” if you will, while the runner twin continually abandons the relationship out of fear, emotional pain and immaturity. However, it is also quite possible that BOTH twins are not spiritually or emotionally mature to handle the high loving energy of a twin-flame soul reunion. And this is why it is SO important to work on YOURSELF first. You must raise your own vibration and to be able to love yourself first and foremost without any conditions, and, most importantly, without any fears of being completely alone for the rest of your life.

In other words, if you cannot find joy in your own company, who else is going to? And, if you cannot treat yourself kindly, who will? We do train others how to treat us by the way we regard ourselves. Now, this is not to say you must build yourself up into an arrogant egomaniac. On the contrary. This is not about the ego at all. This is about the SOUL, which is located within the heart. The ego, if you do not already know, is all in the mind. The ego is that nasty “handicap” your soul must battle as it tries to follow its Divine will or spiritual path. Ego will constantly argue for “free will” and “independence.” It will also keep you in fear. Of everything. And everyone. Even your beloved twin-flame soul mate.

So, yes, you will have a fight on your hands in the beginning. Taming the ego. Shutting it up. Shutting it down. It IS possible. It takes a great deal of discipline, however. And, not only do you have to ignore the persistence of your ego, you must also get in touch with your SOUL, and you must learn to not only LIKE yourself, but to actually LOVE yourself. You must replace every criticism from your ego with a sincere, loving compliment. And you have to convince yourself that you have NOTHING to lose with this transformation.

Once you finally silence your ego, you might even miss it… for a second. Until you realize that silence is not only enjoyable, but it is truly, sweetly DIVINE. You may even begin to hear the loving words and compliments of your own Akash, a collective of masters, teachers and loved ones, and, yes, angels and spirit guides. And you may even find it possible to actually… RELAX. You might find that every knotted bit of tension, no matter how great or small, magically melts away. This is the beginning of raising your vibration. Immerse yourself into this new, peaceful ecstasy. Trust it, for it is the true you, and the REAL way your life is meant to feel. Peaceful. Serene. Indulgent, perhaps? Immerse yourself into that luxurious indulgence. This is a very simple way to offer yourself the true, unconditional, pure love that you so rightly deserve. This is where you can begin to forgive yourself and let go of all those things you said or did on an egoic level that may have cost you friendships or created an icy wedge between you and your loved ones, be they life partners, siblings, parents, grandparents, or other blood relatives. Know that anything and everything can be repaired once you let go and forgive… not only them, but yourself as well. This is where self-love begins, by recognizing that all negative behavior resulted out of a fear-based energy that you are now rising up out of, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And, because you do TRULY love yourself, you are raising your own vibration into that of higher consciousness, light and unconditional love.

There is an old saying that goes: in order to love others, you must first love yourself. I believe the same is true with forgiveness. In order to forgive others, you must first forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for snapping… for reacting… for judging. Forgive yourself for being afraid. Because that is where all conflict breeds… out of the lower, fear-based energy we on Earth have been living in for so long. So now it is easy to recognize that others were also afraid, and that is why they behaved the way they did. How can we not forgive people for being afraid? Fear is something we have all felt, so we can all relate on the same level.

Once forgiveness is accomplished, it is time to accelerate into a higher, more loving vibration. Love yourself. Entertain yourself. Treat yourself! Enjoy your own company. Raise your vibrations so high that you want to spend the rest of your life with yourself! And, once you have accomplished that, be so dedicated to yourself and raise your standards so that people will strive to meet them, rather than expect you to lower them.

It is true that all kinds of people are attracted to those with higher vibrations. Especially your twin flame. Just remember that until your twin is vibrating at the same high 5D frequency as you, the two of you most likely won’t be able to harmoniously reunite. In fact, you may reunite a few times and fail, but, as long as you love yourself for who you are just AS you are, it won’t matter, for you already have all you need. Your unconditional love for yourself is ALL that you need. Once you achieve this wisdom, you have already accomplished self mastery… which will only make it easier for you to continue on your own illuminated spiritual path of Divine will, full of detached unconditional love for your Divine compliment.

Make no mistake that while the two of you are separated, your twin will also be learning the same lessons about ego and the importance of self love. It is best, however, to focus on yourself and your own path. Successful separate journeys will eventually guide you back onto the same path as long as both remain heart centered and dedicated to loving the self as much as or even more than the twin counterpart.

‘Tis the season… holiday time! For many (especially kids and the young at heart) the holidays bring excitement and anticipation, but for some, the holiday season can bring a sense of sadness and withdrawl, especially if there has been a recent loss within the family.

Some of us are spending the holidays completely alone not just because the blood relatives bring too much agony, but we are also single, either due to breakup or the passing of a beloved. The feeling of loneliness and separation that accompanies the holiday season for people like us can, at times, be overwhelming and unbearable.

For those courageous enough to attend holiday gatherings and face those family members who trigger the lower, darker energies within us — whether it be fear, anger, pain, anxiety, sadness or just a general uneasiness or rigidness — holiday time can feel especially stressful or bothersome.

The key to managing or even rising above these holiday blues is to take a good, honest look at your personal triggers, especially if the triggers are directly linked to other people, such as friends, relatives or in-laws, and to transmute those triggers with love and light.

If you are still having difficulties finding or identifying your triggers or blocks, a soul reading that accesses your Akashic Records can be quite healing this holiday season. A look into your records can reveal soul contracts with others within your soul group and the lessons your light beings have agreed to teach one another in this incarnation. A reading can also put you in touch with loved ones who have crossed over into spirit world for an inspiring holiday message. Or you can simply learn how marvelous you truly are! There is no better gift to give yourself or a loved one than a healing Akashic soul reading!

Yeah, I said it. When I asked my higher self just how many different timeline lives she was living, she replied, “Oh, about 150.” And so, I admit it, I called her a Timeline Whore. She laughed, of course. And you are probably laughing, too, but, at the time I said it, I was really kind of pissed, to be honest. For about a day or so, it made me feel like I didn’t even have a soul. Like I’m just a pawn. An experiment on a timeline. A fucking GAME to her. I mean, seriously??? One hundred and fifty???!!! All at ONCE? C’mon!!! Who has time for that? Who can keep TRACK of all that drama?

“Don’t even try to comprehend it from where you sit,” she said.

So I didn’t. Whatever, right? It took a couple of days for me trust her assurance that she is with me, always, for every short and long breath.

The conversation happened after I wrote chapter seven of My Akashic Journey, which presented me with more information than I could process in one day about multiple timelines within the multiverse. It has taken me a couple weeks and a bit of consultation with my trusted advanced-consciousness cronies to actually make the decision to publish this mind-bender. Hold onto your hats. I kept seeing 555 codes everywhere before I conducted this reading and wrote this chapter…

On May 10th I was thinking about a reading I had just given and how it is interesting the way soul groups tend to surround a particular issue and weave in and out of it, playing all the different roles surrounding the issue in order to help one another come to terms with it. I realized it was a lot like higher education, in a way. As undergrads, we pick a major and we study all the components necessary to get a degree in that field. In that major we may feel drawn to a more particular sector, so we go on to investigate further and obtain a master’s degree. We may even decide to then take it one step further and get that doctorate in order to gain the expertise to help others. And once we are helping others, we know we have truly evolved, right? As I was pondering this metaphor, a tidal wave of information crashed down on me about my own life… and reincarnation… and timelines… and… how to finally explain, once and for all… that we are living ALL of these lives simultaneously. WHOA. Talk about drowning in TMI all at once! Damn. I feel like I have a concussion as I write this, but I know I have to, or I will forget everything as quickly as it hit me.

Okay, so I have been shown a few things in a matter of MINUTES, but I know it is going to take hours to explain it all, since the flashes of “Remember this? And that? And THIS? See how they’re all connected?” is going to actually take time for me to explain to everyone who does not live inside my head. Keep in mind, these are pieces of a puzzle that have shown up over several years of time in my own personal life in this particular timeline we are currently sharing. I will present them chronologically and as concisely as possible (sort of like Exhibit A, B and C in a courtroom drama, if you follow).

All my life, in my heart I have known about reincarnation. I have known of my roots and bloodlines, even, that connect me directly to who most know as Jesus Christ. Yes, crazy, I know. That is why I never, EVER talk about it… until recently, of course. As the puzzle pieces begin to come together and I am awakening to who I am – several fractals of one light being who is living many, many timelines all at once – it is starting to (very slowly) make more and more sense. I don’t have all of the answers yet because there is no photo to compare the puzzle pieces to, if you know what I mean. I am just blindly fitting these pieces together, unsure of what “big picture” they will ultimately create actually looks like. When I think about this stuff, I am reminded of the Terminator movies and Butterfly Effect.

Why Terminator you ask? Well, as I see it, what is actually going on is that we are living all these lives at once on different timelines and looking to our “future” selves to be the masters or the experts, if you will, who have the ability to look back or travel back into other timelines to share information or expertise that will enable our other fractal selves to solve problems and issues that could otherwise harm us or the planet in one way shape or form. And, like Butterfly Effect, we are even living some of the same lives during the same timelines over again to fix or repair mistakes that cost us in the future lives. WHEW!! Okay. Crazy, I know. Hard to follow? You bet! But, I finally GET IT!!! This is the way my guides explained it to me:

Imagine yourself at a BINGO Hall playing several cards at the same time. Say you have five cards. (Each represents a different life on a different timeline.) Now, it is unlikely that any two of those five cards will be exactly the same, but, while rare, it IS possible. (Meaning that you can live the same exact life as the same person during the same time period… BUT, the difference being that it’s a different timeline, so in that life the history can be completely different. Now we’re getting into Groundhog Day kind of stuff: do it over until you finally get it right). While the BINGO card metaphor doesn’t quite bring it home, it sort of helped make sense of how our higher selves are playing out several lives all at once… and sometimes even two versions (maybe even more) of the SAME life during the SAME time period on different timelines.

You’re probably wondering how this crazy stuff even came into my mind. Well, as I explained before, it arrived in pieces, over several years, which were all just presented to me in reminder flash fashion about 90 minutes ago in that tidal wave of TMI.

These flashes did NOT come in chronological order, so try to follow.

A few weeks ago I had a dream about my twin flame soul mate and I. I could tell by the songs on the radio, our clothes and our hairstyles and simply by the way we looked that this was the early 90s, back when we were just out of high school. We were sitting in her car in her parents’ garage listening to the radio. I had just told her something about some guy who had date raped me, and I leaned my head on her shoulder. There was so much love and trust between us, I could feel it. She then invited me into the folded down backseat as her dad’s silhouette appeared in the doorway that led into their house. We managed to duck just in time to escape his attention.

We curled up on the flat surface in the back seat and laid there in the dim lighting of the garage contently looking at each other.

“My parents think I’m a lesbian,” she finally whispered to me.

I felt myself gasp as the dream came to a screeching halt.

I woke up going, “Whaaat the FUCK???”

Primarily because it felt so REAL. Like I had actually BEEN there with her, in that very place, at that very time, in that very moment. What I mean is that it felt a lot more like a memory than a dream.

Holy crap, I thought to myself. It was real? It was real, wasn’t it? Scarborough? We didn’t know each other back then. Not at all. How can this be real?

“It was another life on the same timeline,” Scarborough, my higher self explained.

WHAT???

I scrambled out of bed and immediately went to my computer and wrote to Ariel Deangelis:

Hey… got a question for you regarding the concept that we live all our lives at once vs. the one-life-at-a-time-but-not-necessarily-in chronological-order philosophy…

Since we can hop into any timeline… is it possible for us to hop into the SAME timeline and live the same lives over and over again, but switching things up to get different results? (Sort of like Butterfly Effect, but it being an entire lifetime rather than just several time jumps?)

I had this weird dream this morning that is prompting this question. Just wondering what you think.

Ariel’s response:

Yes… have you sensed this happening… you are not alone.

My reply:

So what IS this? Groundhog Day? We keep doing it over until we get it right?

Ariel’s response:

Yes, interesting isn’t it? [Arch Angel] Michael likened it to me the other day as us being at a point which we’re ALL going to Ascend – those of us who have chosen to, anyway… as you might have deduced, we’re not all exactly ready to do that… lots of unfinished business, both here and “there”… so, in effect, we have the “ability” (if you want to call it that) to hit “rewind,” go back (or forward – cuz even if you go back, you’re still moving forward) to a previous (and/or slightly different) “timeline” (or “point of experience”) which enables us to “have another go” at it… yeah, that’s a kind of a “Michael-y” sort of explanation, but nevertheless, pretty close to what we are experiencing now… so you see, we really DO have ALL of ETERNITY to get it “right” … the fun is just beginning…

WOW.

Okay, so there is Exhibit A. The dream. There were other dreams I had about that timeline, too, that I don’t want to get into because they involve the one with the negative energy who threw the “curse” on my father’s grandfather and how my twin-flame soul mate became entangled with her. At first, my thought was that life had already been lived out and that we failed our mission, so we are doing it over, but now as I write this, I realize we are probably living that exact same life RIGHT NOW and perhaps we have not failed… YET… or perhaps, even, THIS is the life in which we could either succeed or fail. Or maybe everything… every OTHER life being lived at this very moment that we are tapping into through dreams or “memories” is actually CONTINGENT upon THIS life, THIS now. WOW. No pressure or anything. I’m not saying I’m right about this, because there is still a LOT that doesn’t add up or make sense. And no, I am not on a mushroom trip or any other “trip,” for that matter.

After they remind me of the dream, my guides show me Exhibit B. The photo. A few months ago, my twin-flame soul mate sent me a photo of herself when she was probably in fifth or sixth grade. She sent me several, actually, from grade school. She looked boyish, and very, very cute in all of them. There was the one photo, from fifth or sixth grade (she couldn’t remember which) that kept coming back to me over and over again for days and weeks after she’d sent it. I felt a deep connection with that one photo for some reason. I told her my feelings about it. Her only response was: “Weird.”

Yeah. Weird. Now I feel that maybe that is when we made our first connection with each other in this other life we are living on that “slightly different timeline” as Ariel describes it. You see, in “this life,” my twin flame and I did not even meet until May 5, 2007, when we were both 36 years old. But I am now beginning to have strong feelings that we met much earlier on this other timeline I have been dreaming about. And, this may sound really weird, but I almost miss that life and find myself longing to go back to it, even though I am not at all familiar with it.

I’m standing at the dishwasher loading dirty plates as this feeling comes over me about the photo again… the same place I’ve been standing and same chore I have been doing when the photo connection feeling has come up several times over the past few months. So maybe the dishwasher is some kind of link? It’s possible. We DID have dishwashers way back then – when I was in grade school and middle school – believe it or not. Perhaps loading and unloading it was one of my chores at that time when I often found myself thinking about her? I suppose my Akashic Records could tell me.

Then my guides show me Exhibit C, that ornate tile décor I noticed in my dormitory building at 4 Charlesgate East in Boston, Massachusetts, when I was a freshman at Emerson College. I recognized it immediately and realized “I’ve been here before,” with utmost clarity and certainty. Then I frowned. “But I’ve NEVER been here before,” I reminded myself. I later told my friend Wil (yes the Emerson shuttle bus driver I had a crush on for years) about it.

I remember how he stared straight ahead and said to me, “You’ve been there before.”

It gave me goose bumps.

“Fuckin’ Wil the bus driver,” I chuckled to myself. That dude and my attraction to him was always such a mystery to me. But I realized this morning that he served a purpose far greater than I ever imagined until… well… this morning. He was the very first person I talked to about reincarnation who actually affirmed it. Holy crap. That was 24 years ago! Wil the bus driver is now 68 years old. Sorry. I digress. But you get the idea of how long it has taken to put these pieces together.

And Exhibit C reminds me of the fact that my twin-flame soul mate was out there, in Massachusetts, around the same time as me (on this timeline, in this life). When I was out doing yard work the other day, her higher self Ulron told me that he wanted SO badly for us to meet out there. He tried so HARD to nudge her to go to Boston.

“I would have found you,” he said. “And she would have talked to you. Just imagine what it would have been like…”

“Dude, I thought I was straight then,” I reminded him. “Nothing would have happened.”

That led me to wonder, though… about this slightly different timeline… did I go out to Boston to college in that timeline or not?

So many things to ask my Akashic Records! Here I go…

I had this dream about me and my twin-flame soul mate sitting in her car together talking when we were in our late teens or early twenties, but I did not know her at that time in this life. Scarborough says we have lived this life as the same people during the same time period before. How is this possible? What can you tell me about timelines and simultaneous lives?

Jen, this is Christopher, a loved one and member of the Ring of 500. I will attempt to answer this question for you as best I can, me being in spirit world and you being in 3D. I have been there before, myself, so I know how difficult it is to grasp this concept since your entire life and world is run by a clock and timelines other than the one in which you currently live are also incomprehensible.

First, let’s be clear: You, Jen Freer, have not lived ANY other lives other than the one you are currently living. Your higher self, however (the REAL you — Scarborough) has lived many. Or created many, I should say. Some will call these many lives (or characters, if you will) “fractals.” Or, as we say over here in spirit world: “experiments.”

Remember when you were younger and you played with your Barbie dolls and Adventure People? You created story lines for them, right? And, as a writer, when you write your fictitious stories, you do the same thing, don’t you? You create characters and story lines. Well, higher selves do the same thing. They are the creators, or the authors, so to speak. And, just as you may have three or four different story ideas, all with completely different characters living in completely different places during different time periods that are in varied states of completion, your higher self has a lot of the same kind of thing going on. Now remember, higher selves are Masters. They are able to be in several places all at once. They can have many fractals (lives) going on simultaneously. And, just as an author can pick any time period for which their story takes place, master higher selves can do the same thing.

Okay, Christopher, if I may interject? I would like to ask, then, why am I having memories or dreams of other lives my higher self has lived?

Because you are connected. You keep reading and hearing the phrase “we are all one.” And that is true. Because every higher self is a fractal of source energy (or GOD energy). Your higher self is trying to share with you your connection to her and all the other creations she has made. You are an extension of her, just as all these other storylines and characters are extensions of her.

What about the twin-flame soul mate?

Also an extension of her. The masculine energy. Okay, see, Ulron and Scarborough are a pair that were split from one fractal into two. And they, together, can decide if they are going to co-create or not. So, while they mostly DO co-create together, sometimes they do not. For you, Jen, they have co-created, meaning that you and the person you feel is your twin flame will come together on your timeline to clear up old energy and move into oneness together to create healing projects. The exact details of these creative projects are pretty much unwritten because Scarborough and Ulron want to leave the creativity up to the two of you, once your vibrations are equal and the two of you are once again in harmony.

Okay, so, if we are ONLY us, then why is it we are affected by other lives our higher selves have lived? Like, why are we purging LIFETIMES of “past traumas” and fears and other general suckiness?

Because we’re all one. Think about it. When you’re writing a story, are the characters in your story influenced by your own emotions?

Sometimes, yes. But not always. Because sometimes I am writing as an escape.

Ah. But, still, the characters are an extension of you. So, whatever you are feeling or have experienced or imagine, they are essentially going to experience, too, at some time or another within the storyline. Because YOU are the creator. Right?

Yes. But I thought higher selves were supposed to be Masters.

Yes. They are masters. But they are not necessarily fully ascended masters. Do you understand?

No. I thought Masters meant fully ascended.

No. Not necessarily. Just like those with a master’s degree from grad school don’t yet have their doctorates, you see? It’s much like that, OR, Karate. You cannot get the black belt until you have all the other colored belts first.

So it’s another hierarchical system?

If you want to see it that way. But this is more about energy – vibration and frequency – more than it is about rank and power and authority. In a way, you are like the “feeler” for your higher self. Your higher self experiences energy through you and gains knowledge and wisdom from your experiences much the same way you as an author learn from your own characters in your stories, right? Not to be crude, but it is almost like the scientists who put mice in a maze and move the cheese around and change up the patterns of the maze to see how the mouse will react and respond. But that is more beginner level stuff.

The opportunity to explore the higher dimensions. One must achieve a higher vibration in order to access the higher dimensions.

So it IS like a video game?

In some ways, yes. But far more exciting and rewarding.

How so?

Because it’s the multiverse. It is infinite.

Okay, so, explain to me again why a fractal like myself has to feel the pain and suffering of other lives (fractals) being lived by my higher self.

Well, it did not used to be that way. Because levels of consciousness are higher now, more and more fractals are becoming aware of their connections. Unity consciousness is beginning to connect more and more of these fractals to their source energy and all of its other fractals. Everything is energy, my dear. You know that whole deal about E-motion being energy in motion? How no emotion is good or bad, it’s just energy? That is exactly true. And it is exactly why fractals are tapping into their higher selves and the other fractals being lived by your higher self. So, WERE you on the Titanic with your twin-flame soul mate when it went down? No. JEN was not. But Scarborough was. And Ulron was. And they are the REAL you. So you feel the energy and emotion attached to that incident. Or as much as your higher self feels it, anyway.

I do not feel as affected by it as much as my twin-flame soul mate does, but let me ask you a couple of questions about that, since you, Christopher, were the one who came through when we did her reading about the Titanic. You said she was an architect and a designer who worked on that ship, but she went to another psychic and asked him if that was true, and he said no, that she was some sort of crew member who reported the iceberg and was dismissed and then was the first to die in a wall of water. Why are we getting conflicting stories about this?

First, let me ask you this… did the psychic open her Akashic records?

I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t believe it was an Akashic reading. Just an intuitive reading as far as I know.

Did the psychic speak directly with her higher self, Ulron?

I don’t know. Is it possible Ulron created two fractals of himself who were on the ship at the same time?

It’s possible, but I cannot say without her records being open.

What do my records say?

Your records say only one fractal on the Titanic with Ulron’s fractal. But that doesn’t mean he did not have another fractal on that timeline or a slightly altered timeline.

How would you describe a “slightly altered timeline?”

Staggered. One that is slightly behind. A do-over timeline, basically. You know how things are always being revised? Consider it something like that. It’s usually a fail. If you remember the movie you mentioned earlier – Butterfly Effect – it’s a lot like that. You know how he keeps going back and trying to “fix” or “repair” the past to create a better or more ideal present for the girl he loves, but everything he does only seems to make matters worse? Yeah. It’s a lot like that. Again, like I said, it’s all experimental. Nothing is actually made better or worse… just different.

But, with the Titanic, the ship goes down and 1500 people die. And JP Morgan gets away with it all.

On your timeline it does, anyway.

What does that mean?

It means… what you perceive as reality isn’t necessarily so. It all depends on which timeline you are living.

So there is possibly a timeline where the Titanic doesn’t sink?

There are many timelines where the Titanic is a success.

Seriously?

It’s all about energy, my dear. Collective consciousness energy. Remember the Matrix? Which pill will you choose? Red or blue? Which pill did your higher self choose? You see, this is why not ALL higher selves are “ascended Masters.”

What if I want a different timeline?

Well, I am afraid that isn’t possible from your vantage point. Although everything CAN be changed collectively… through collective consciousness. Or you can always merge and become one with your higher self.

Okay, what about this other “slightly altered” timeline in which my twin-flame soul mate and I are living (or lived)? What can you tell me about that life? Where did we first meet? How old were we?

On that timeline, you met in grade school. You transferred in to her school in Elkhart, Indiana when your dad got a job on the police force there. You were about 10. You were both little tomboys, although you were the more feminine and she was the more masculine. You got along swimmingly from the get-go. Dirt bikes, skateboards, basketball, baseball, fishing. You actually lived pretty close to each other, near the river, so you had plenty of adventures together. Until you went your separate ways after high school. You went away to college. Boston. She stayed in Elkhart. You got married. She explored same-sex relationships.

Scarborough said we failed our mission in that life.

Yes. The third party – the girl with lupus – bailed.

Bailed?

Expired.

So what happens on that timeline, then?

It has already dissolved.

So is this the only timeline we have left to complete the mission?

Looks like it, yes.

Why did the other timeline dissolve? I mean, if only one person died?

Everyone eventually died, dear.

So it’s a past life, then? Not currently being lived simultaneously?

As I said before, timelines are staggered, so not every single fractal of your higher self is happening simultaneously. So, as your perception goes, from your current vantage point, yes, this could be considered a “past life,” since everyone on that timeline has expired.

So this life for us IS a “do over?”

You could consider it that, yes.

What happens if we fail in this one, too?

Why would you let that happen? You’re both consciously aware of why you’re here and what needs to happen. Your higher selves put you here in this particular timeline of heightened awareness so you would not fail.

Why is it so important that we “reverse the curse,” anyway? Can’t we just cancel the contracts?

Sure, you can cancel the contracts. But that doesn’t clean up the mess. That’s just calling quitting time before the job is done, you see. And it is important to fulfill the contract because your father’s grandfather’s family is a direct descendent bloodline of Sarah (higher self Scarborough), the daughter of Jesus and her twin-flame soul mate Luke. And Jesus likes to keep a tidy bloodline, you see. Not to mention that this dark energy has affected a LOT of people. Not just the families, but everyone the descendents of these two families come in contact with on a daily basis. All in all, that is a LOT of people.

Well, I feel like there is nothing I can do. I did the best I could, and it wasn’t good enough. What more can I do?

You’ve done all you can. The rest is up to the other two parties of the contract. Send love and light and keep the faith. The truth is out, and it is accessible. Other parties willing to lend their light and positive energy to the situation are welcome to assist at any time, should they find it in their hearts to do so. You did not fail. And this is far from over. Stay positive. Raise your vibration in faith and love. You have a good number of angels and ascended masters on your side.

I already know what they will say. They will say this is my ego talking, and that I am just trying to manipulate the situation to my favor.

What does Grandpa James always tell you? Hearts don’t change. Only minds change. Hearts stay true. Forever.Your heart is true. Your love is unconditional. It always has been. That is why you were chosen.

Thank you, Christopher.

Chosen. That is a word I heard a lot as a kid. In my head, when I was riding my bike alone or wandering through the woods. A gentle man’s voice told me over and over: “You are a golden child, Jen. A chosen one.” I do believe I asked my mom once what it meant to be a “chosen one.” Her answer sounded like a lot of pressure. I just wanted to play and be carefree. Needless to say, I ignored those messages as I moved into middle school and blocked out the voice. No wonder it is taking so long to put all the jigsaw pieces back together. If I had only listened…

But that is what free will does for us. Our egos want all this independence. Ego says: This is MY life! I’ll do as I please!

And, of course, ego never wants us to believe anything good about ourselves. No wonder our higher selves have to create so many fractals. So very few are willing to listen to them.

So now we know. We have a choice. We can follow the guidance of our higher selves, stick to our contracts, and ascend with them. Or we can be another junk fractal that didn’t work out. A used bingo card. An experiment. Or a failure requiring a “do over.”

Not to be pious or anything, but I’m going to open this chapter with a quote. No, it’s not a Biblical quote, but as informal as my work has been up until now, this might feel a little… awkward. It came across my screen while I was pondering exactly how I was going to lay this out for you all, (and worrying about the ramifications) and it just felt like it was a bit of encouragement. So here it is…

“One of the most important of life´s lessons is to learn independence, to understand freedom. This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations. Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship, a relationship that nourishes your soul. It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.” ~ Brian L. Weiss

Breaking this down, the very first thing that stuck out as a message for me personally is the bit that says:

“This means independence from attachments, from results, from opinions, and from expectations.”

The first person I shared my 2006 DaVinci Code experience with was Ariel DeAngelis. I shared it with her on January 10th, 2013. Seven years later. Yes, for seven years I kept a secret about myself. I know that is hard to believe. Probably because it is still hard for me to believe, even thought I KNOW it to be true. This is a perfect example of the mind/ego ruling the heart and denying truth. We do this all the time, don’t we?

I can tell you right now why I never told a soul. Because NO ONE would believe me. Ever. And I figured if I told anyone, I’d find myself locked up in a padded cell for life. No need to sacrifice my “freedom” for truth. But this quote here reminded me that freedom is independence from results and opinions.

Now part of me is still wondering why it is even necessary to divulge this information. In service to self, it is small. There is nothing to gain from it personally. In service to others, it is huge. If only I could prove it, this information would free a LOT of people from the deception the church has held over them for the past 2013 years. (I don’t know why I was just prompted to write 2016, but I corrected it to 2013. I’m sure there is a reason.) If they wanted a reason to NOT believe anymore, that is. And that is where the rest of this quote really becomes powerful in persuading me to tell my truth…

“Breaking attachments leads to freedom, but breaking attachments does not mean abandoning a loving and meaningful relationship, a relationship that nourishes your soul. It means ending dependency on any person or thing. Love is never a dependency.”

This has SO MANY meanings, without a doubt. It is completely open for interpretation. But, because it rolled out in front of me on the screen of my laptop WHILE I was contemplating how… and why I should come out with this information, this is how I interpreted this particular message for myself…

So many people are attached to their religion. To the doctrine and the rhetoric of their religion. SO MANY people believe that Christ died for their sins. And that he resurrected. These people had a FIT when DaVinci Code came out and suggested that Christ was (ermagerd!!!) MARRIED and that his WIFE Mary Magdalene had a baby girl named Sarah. (Blasphemous!!!)

Is it, though? We can all agree that Jesus was born into Jewish culture, correct? And, in Jewish culture, it is pretty common for a man to have a wife (and sexual intercourse) and child, correct?

I’m not so sure why it is so unfathomable to some Christians that Jesus Christ possibly had sex with a woman he was married to and produced offspring, but it is perfectly okay to believe that he ran around in a robe and sandals with a bunch of dudes who professed their love for him, healed a blind man, walked on water and turned water into wine. Seriously???

Okay, it’s 2013… can we be a tiny bit realistic about this for once? Does having a wife really make Jesus less magical? Does it make him less likely to have been such a great teacher or prophet? What if he never really walked on water? Or turned water into wine? Or, how about this… what if he never resurrected? What if… he never even died on that cross? Does that negate the lessons he tried to teach us wayyyyy back then?

Isn’t it the message that’s important? That we’re ALL ONE? That we should love our neighbor and not judge others?

Ohh… THAT was the message?

You see, so many people are ATTACHED to the MAGIC and the GLORY. Especially the bit about him coming back to life for three days before ascending. Hmm. Really?

I was sort of digging the message much more. But, then again, most people remember Ozzy Osbourne more for biting the head off of a bat on stage than the lyrics to his music. Did he have anything profound to say? You see, I just don’t know, because the bat-beheading-with-teeth bit just turned me off so much I never bothered to listen. Now the guy is pretty much impossible to understand, anyway, so it just seems pointless to pay him any attention. And that’s probably not fair, given that it is an attachment opinion that I have to Ozzy, who I’m sure must be a decent guy if he could hook a woman as wonderful as Sharon. Just sayin’. Plus he has millions of fans who adore him. (In all fairness, the bat was thrown onstage by a fan who insisted it was dead. Ozzy thought it was a rubber bat, but when he bit it, the bat bit back, and Ozzy had to be treated for rabies. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozzy_Osbourne.)

So where am I going with all of this? Well, it has a bit to do with service to others, although I don’t really know exactly how reliable my information can possibly be given that I am currently incarnate as a simple spiritualist with absolutely zero credibility in the religious and even spiritualist sector. I read Akashic Records for people. Sometimes I am dead-on accurate. Other times… maybe not so much. I humbly channel the wisdom of a Pleiadian being who calls himself Peter on occasion. Although I have been told by my Akashic Records that my purpose in this life is to reunite with my twin-flame soul mate and become post 2012 healers through “the vision plus the word,” and that the work I will be most known for is “Unity Consciousness,” I still have no real concept for what it all means. I can’t even successfully reunite with my twin-flame soul mate, so… obviously there is still a LOT of work to be done. And I don’t even know where to begin. It feels like it is all out of my hands. Everything is. I have no job. No income, other than unemployment benefits which are due to decrease soon and eventually run out. I can’t pay my mortgage this month. I know I can OPPT in to OPPT out of that, but it still feels like a bit of a tightrope walk. I keep saying out loud several times a day, “I don’t know what to do.”

All this time on my hands with nowhere to go and hardly anyone to talk to has forced me to remember who I am. To rewind and replay all the memories that led up to the DaVinci Code moment in 2006 that may help some people detach from the deceptive power and control the “church” has had over them all their lives. (And I say “lives” meaning more than ONE, although I know many Christians do not believe in reincarnation. Most believe they live only once and then go to either Heaven or Hell based on how well they allowed the church to control them and shake out every loose bit of change they had tucked away before they died.)

I feel like the little drummer boy. With no gift fit for a king, all he could offer was the beat of his drum to honor the baby Jesus. Well, to honor Jesus, the man and the teacher, and all of his TRUE followers who offer love and compassion and service to others WITHOUT tithing to ANY church, I offer my truth.

Notice I did not say STORY. Because STORY would imply FICTION. This is NOT fiction. This is the truth. And I offer it without any attachment to results or the opinions of others. I do this out of love. Love for the man and teacher who tried to tell us so many years ago that God/Source is not found in a church… that God is everywhere, in everything: “I am the light that shines over all things. I am everything. From me all came forth, and to me all return. Split a piece of wood, and I am there. Lift a stone, and you will find me there.” (Lost Gospel of Thomas.) And I do this out of love for myself, so that I can be free and independent from attachment. For it is true that love is not attachment. Love is a vibration. And the only way we can raise our vibrations is to free ourselves by sharing our truth and love through service to others. I tell this truth so that you, too, can be free from all of the deception and power and control of the very religions that took the teachings of Jesus Christ and twisted them into a reversal that had you believing the opposite of what he taught in order to gain profit for themselves and their cults.

Rewind.

November 2006. DaVinci Code had just been released on DVD. At the time, I was living with my life partner of six years, a United Church of Christ pastor who had taught me more about religion, the Bible and Christianity than I ever cared to know.

I grew up unchurched. No one taught me anything about God or Jesus. I started reading Genesis in our family Bible at the age of eight. After reading three different creation stories I told my mom, “This book is too contradictory! I’m done reading this crap!”

Why I even picked it up to read it is beyond me. Maybe it was because a long-haired bearded man kept appearing to me when I was exploring the woods alone. I never told anyone about him because he was kind of huge and floated up near the tree tops and no one would believe me.

Anyway… DaVinci Code. Yeah. The book had caused a major uproar all across the country. My life-partner hosted a book study on it at our church, but those things always turned out to be a bunch of drama if I attended because I had some very stiff opinions about “The Bible” that I was not afraid to voice, and I always ended up getting lambasted for my “comments.” So, needless to say, I declined the invitation to attend. I also refused to read the book. We had already watched every docudrama produced about it. I really didn’t need to waste time reading it. So, when the life-partner brought home the DVD and asked if I would watch it with her I yawned and said “sure.” I could always accidentally fall asleep.

Surprisingly, that didn’t happen. Even more surprisingly, as the story came to a close at the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, I felt the presence of an enormous energy in the room. My own “keepers” had entered my space with a message delivered by a warm, gentle man’s voice who told me “Yes, Jesus really did have a wife named Mary Magdalene, and yes, they really had a baby named Sarah. And YOU were that baby, Jennifer.”

But, before he even said it, I already knew it. And, as quickly as I knew it, I shoved it all away and denied it. “That’s a bunch of shit,” I found myself telepathically telling this huge, loving energy that had entered my living room.

And I never thought about it again. Until 2008, when I watched the movie with my friend Alex. Again, I got the same feeling, although the energy present was nowhere near as enormous. It was just a “friendly reminder” presence. To which I just simply said, “No!”

Fast Forward.

I never thought about it again until January 10, 2013 when it popped up out of the blue as a possible topic to take up telepathically with Ariel DeAngelis. But I didn’t. Instead, I wrote to her about it. And, like I said before, she is the first person I ever told. Her response to me was:

“Well, Sarah 😉 (in case you hadn’t guessed I’m getting a VERY strong affirmative on that one too!!)”

After reading this, I felt as if my heart had leaped right out of my chest, I was so overjoyed with the affirmation. I felt a tremendous upsurge of energy that felt like I could almost fly. And then there was this enormous presence in the room. I mean, huger than huge. The largest, warmest, most loving presence I have ever felt in my entire life. My dogs began stirring and whining to go outside, so I got up from the couch and walked through the dark kitchen. The overhead lights and countertop outlets had mysteriously stopped working and had been dead for at least two weeks. My tenant John and I had checked all the breakers and reset every single one – three times – in effort to restore power, but to no avail. As I was walking through, I flipped the overhead switch out of habit, AND… the lights mysteriously came ON for the first time in two weeks. I was startled at first, and then elated. And then it came… as predictable and cliché as ever… the familiar male voice from my childhood woods stomping grounds… “Let there be light!” and then a warm chuckle.

I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. What else can you do in a moment like this? Okay, maybe I cried, too. A little. His energy was like nothing I have ever felt before in my life. It’s indescribable. It’s like being swaddled in the warmest, softest blanket imaginable and gently and lovingly rocked into your deepest relaxed state before sleep. Not that you’d want to sleep, of course, because his energy is just too cheerful and charming to snooze through.

We had a nice father/daughter chat. I asked him many, many questions. One of my most favorite things about him is his sense of humor. Yes. Jesus has an amazing sense of humor! I bet you didn’t know that. I bet you never even DREAMED that. Neither did I. Of course, I am sure that with me he feels he can be far more candid than he can with someone like John Smallman. Which was one of my questions.

“Are you really talking to Smallman?”

“Yes, dear. I am.”

Good. So there you go. Naysayers begone.

One of my favorite things that he said to me was, “So… how did you like me when I was John Lennon?”

So Jesus Daddy-O it is. But that is just between me and him. I really probably shouldn’t be sharing this, but… after 2013 (16?) years… it’s about time you knew that he DOES have a lighter side.

Now, unless instructed, I am NOT going to start channeling Jesus. That is John Smallman’s gig. I am also not going to answer questions about Jesus. Or ask him questions for you. This is not why I am sharing any of this with you. I am sharing this simply to allow people to free themselves from the deception of the church.

I asked him if he died on the cross. He said no, he did not. I asked him if he was ever ON a cross. Again, NO, he was never nailed to a cross. He was exiled and moved with Mary Magdalene and a number of others (disciples – more than just the 12) to France where he lived another 30 years and died in his late 60s of natural causes. This is as detailed as I am going to get with this. That is all I feel (at this time) anyone needs to know.

I just asked him if there is anything he wants to say to the people in his own words in this chapter. He said no. I asked him if he wants people to be free from the church. He said yes. And I do believe that is the only message I am here to carry out, other than whatever it is I am supposed to do in the future with my post-2012 healing work with my twin-flame soul mate and Unity Consciousness. When I figure it out, hopefully with the help of my higher guidance, I will let you all know.

Until then, I wish all of you joy, love, freedom and independence from attachment!

As promised, here is my Akashic Reading on this subject:

In 2006, while watching the movie DaVinci Code, I felt a presence of several friendly beings fill the room. I was told that it is true that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and had a baby named Sarah and that I (my higher self) was that baby. What can you tell me about this?

Welcome, brave soul. We applaud and admire your courage. We thought this day would never come, but we are very happy that it has. Yes, it is true that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married and that your higher self (soul/light being) incarnated as their daughter, Sarah. You grew up in France, surrounded by very highly spiritual people under very loving influences. It was a happy life, although very sheltered. Jesus had been exiled for his teachings, and there were some who truly did want to kill him. So you lived a very quiet life in France. As you grew older, Luke, your twin-flame soul mate (yes, the one in the Bible who wrote the letters to Paul) made you his wife, and you had two children. The history books tell many different tales about Luke, and, as you can research for yourself, the details are all over the map. He was an artist and a disciple (follower) and apostle (teacher) of Jesus, even though history writes him as an apostle of Paul. It’s all far more simple than “history” makes it out to be, you see. Yes, you had a sort of commune-type living in France, but for good reason. It was more about lying low for survival’s sake, but it was pleasant and serene.

I feel part of my purpose in this life is to share this truth – that Jesus and Mary Magdalene WERE married and did have a child and that Jesus was never crucified on the cross. I know this will cause me a great deal of trouble and more grief than I have already experienced, but I feel it is important to share this truth to help free those who have been taken advantage of by the church for so many centuries. I don’t wish to cause trouble. Only to help heal. How can I do this with the least amount of harm and harassment to myself?

You’re doing it. You’ve written your truth. Now you publish it, and you move on. The next big thing is around the corner. (Word count at the end of this sentence: 3,333.)

So last summer my dream came true; I reunited with my twin-flame (sacred-union) soul mate. We enjoyed a blissful few months together. She proposed to me on the beach in front of a circle of our closest Pleiadian friends currently incarnate with us from the Pleiadian Ring of 500 the night before my birthday. What I thought was a birthday cake was actually a proposal. Written on the cake in orange (my favorite color) lettering was the question: “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes. We had a beautiful evening with music, fireworks, dancing and late-night dipping in Lake Michigan. It was the best night of my life, to be with the one I love with all of my heart and soul and all of our closest, dearest friends and Pleiadian family members. It was also the best birthday of my life, as she agreed to move in with me. We had a wonderful two months of bliss, but then, of course, fear set in and my twin-flame ran again.

My Akashic Records and other sources say that we will reunite again one day. I trust this is true because no matter how hard I try to move on without her, nothing works. Even if I want it to. I met someone recently I was pretty excited to spend the rest of my life with, but, no sooner than I got my hopes up, I received a barrage of text messages from HER fiancé. Yeah. Nice.

Doom and Gloom.

I see that I am doomed to sit in misery while I continue to WAIT, stalled out in this ridiculous holding pattern because someone is too scared to be happy. Some days, I honestly would rather slit my throat to end this nightmare. I never really even wanted to be here in the first place. I’m sure this is true because I constantly have this feeling that I was dragged into this life. Or pushed. Or coerced. That is just how it feels. NOTHING is ever enjoyable for me. Even when I am happy, it can only be for a few minutes at a time because someone is ALWAYS fucking it up for me. Yeah, I said it! The F-word. Come on, you know this would not be a true heart-felt chapter of my journey without it!

So, I could go on and on here and tell you how it’s all bullshit – this theory or philosophy that “love heals everything” and that twin flames or sacred-union soul mates don’t ever really reunite in harmonious bliss (that we’re just here to push each other’s buttons and make each other LEARN, LEARN, LEARN all the difficult lessons in life.) Okay, that’s crap, too. Well, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s true. But what I mean by “that’s crap” is that it is the stupidest fucking shit EVER.

Yeah, it WOULD be nice if we could all just LOVE each other and get along. It WOULD be nice if on December 21, 2012 all of our egos had dove to their deaths like suicidal lemmings so it COULD be possible to truly love without fear or doubt. But that didn’t happen, did it? Nope. Ego’s still here. Alive and kickin’ like a tenacious wild stallion. Annnd it still sucks. Big time.

As you can tell, I am having some major issues that I am wrestling with. And it is more than just losing my twin flame (AGAIN). I also lost my job. Which, at first, I thought was a blessing in disguise because I thought I could finally do Akashic Readings for a living, but, as things continued to get worse with my twin flame and the county kept threatening to take my house from me, I really lost faith. I mean… BAD.

YES, I am depressed. YES, I am a suicidal lemming in search of a nice, tall cliff with lots of jagged rocks and a pounding sea below. NO, I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHAT THE GOD DAMN LESSON IS IN THIS. FUCK IT!!! FUCK EVERYTHING. Let me GO HOME. NOW!!!!!

Sound familiar? I bet it does. I KNOW it does. I have had PLENTY of talks with people feeling exactly the same way I do. LOTS of people are feeling suicidal, believe it or not. Worthless. Hopeless. And helpless.

But, oddly enough, there is this inner calm in the middle of the storm. All of these thoughts raging, swirling, spiraling, and desperately trying to pull me (us?) downward into the deep, dark abyss of nothingness. But it fails every time because there is this deep inner peace with it all. What IS that? It’s… it’s like… do you remember those turtle floats we had as kids? Those dense expanded foam turtle shells they used to strap around our chests that stayed on our backs to help keep us afloat as we learned to swim? Yeah. It’s like one of those. Right in the center of my chest. And its message is perfectly clear:

Cry and whine all you want. Kick and scream, even. We’re NOT going down.

Faith Restored.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, back in early January of 2013, I sought solace in my friend Ariel DeAngelis, who I consider to be a twin-flame expert. I told her how losing my twin flame again had made me second guess myself. My abilities as an Akashic Reader, actually. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just made the whole thing up? If not, then why did we split again?

I know what most of you are thinking. Why didn’t I just ask my Akashic Records? Well, as I just said, I was afraid I was just plain wrong. That I had made it all up in my head. And that the concept of twin-flame soul mates is just bunk.

Well, of course Ariel had a lot of great answers and even some intuitive information about my twin flame that was pretty dead-on accurate despite the fact that she has never met either of us in person, nor does she know my twin flame at all, not even by a social networking connection. So she made me feel somewhat better with the old, “as twin flame soul mates, we’re always together, even when we’re NOT together.” Yep. Whether we like it or not. And I say that because I am really just tired of the ego bullshit that sends us meandering down the wayward idiot paths only to wind up back where we belong… TOGETHER. Being the higher spiritual (and extremely impatient) half, I honestly don’t see the “need” to be apart. BUT (I admit I DID ask my Akashic Records when she moved out WHY this was happening) the records revealed that my twin flame’s higher self had requested one last separation before oneness so he could better appreciate coming into oneness. I, of course, told him he’s an ass, and he had just better hurry up with that nonsense. (We really do make a phenomenal pair… WHEN we’re TOGETHER.)

Love is patient. Love is kind. What a bunch of bullshit! Get your scaredy-cat ass on this train. NOW!!!

Okay, you all get my drift. I’m SUPER impatient. EXTREMELY. Not to mention that I am just completely BORED with fear and its ill-effects on society in general and as a whole. Fear is stupid. It makes you think stupid things that manifest into crazy shit far worse than the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Did we seriously NOT learn ANYTHING from Ghostbusters? And why can we still not comprehend that worrying is like praying for what we DON’T want? CRIMINY!!!

Okay, done ranting. For a minute. Long enough to tell you what a genius Ariel DeAngelis truly is. When I thanked her for her comforting perspective, she told me to feel free to contact her any time. Even “the other way,” if I wished. I said that would be interesting, for certain. So she said, “let’s try it!” So we ran an experiment. I said I would telepathically contact her sometime that afternoon, but would not tell her what time, exactly. I would have a mental conversation with her, and then, later that evening, I would contact her and ask her what we talked about. She agreed to my terms and conditions.

Not to get all Mark Twain or anything, but I must digress for a moment, because this is what I do. Try to follow. I bundled up the Chihuahuas and took them for a nice, long, 90-minute power walk down to the golf course, around the 13th hole and back. It was on the way back that a random memory from 2006 popped into my head. Yes. 2006. I know. Just follow. It’s really significant to My Akashic Journey – Chapter Six – The Unexpected One. But it all started here. In this moment. On this walk before my telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis. I don’t know WHY it came to me at that very moment that I was power walking the very steep winding hill on my way home, but it occurred to me that I needed to ask Ariel about the super weird thing that happened to me while watching DaVinci Code. I had not even thought about it since 2008 when I saw DaVinci Code the second time. But there it was, popping into my head, random as an ADHD Gen Y comedian. Stay tuned.

So when I got home, I sat on my exercise ball and began stretching. It was about 1:30ish. While stretching, I contacted Peter. You know, the Pleaidian being I sometimes channel. I said, “Hey, Peter, I am supposed to have a telepathic conversation with Ariel DeAngelis this afternoon. Let’s surprise her with a three-way call!”

Of course Peter was all for that! So we patched Ariel in and had a little conference call that was pretty lighthearted and full of laughter. After Peter “hung up,” Ariel and I continued our conversation with a topic she told me to ask her about. I won’t get into the details here, as that is all private and whatnot, but I will say that the details were… very detailed. And no, it wasn’t about Arch Angel Michael.

While we were talking, I got up to make lunch, so there were a couple of lulls in the conversation as I concentrated on cooking instructions and timing and whatnot. Yeah, I’m lame. I read the directions and follow them. Anyway, what I found interesting is that when our conversation was over and my lunch was finished, I wrote to Ariel and said, “Okay. What did we talk about?” she had the time of the conversation (between 1:30 and 2:00 PM EST) accurate as well as the two lulls in conversation I just described. Although she did not recall talking with Peter, she did remember the gusto with which our conversation began, and she also told me our three different topics exactly. Then she asked me, “Okay, so what did YOU hear ME say?”

I wrote her back with the very detailed details and she. was. FLOORED.

“Wow,” she told me. “You are the REAL DEAL.”

Of course, she never had a doubt.

And then she said, “If I don’t doubt you, then why do YOU doubt you?”

That was a very good question, indeed.

And that brought me the courage to share with her that memory I mentioned from 2006. Something I refused to accept about myself that I knew in my heart was true for a very long time. It was a knowing I believe I was born with, but never, EVER shared with anyone. It was the kind of knowing that is so certain that when this bit of craziness was sprung upon me in 2006 while watching DaVinci Code, I was not even surprised by it. But there was no way in hell I was going to accept it. Or admit it, for that matter. Stay tuned. I am about to open my Akashic Records and ask about it. ALL of it. And I guarantee you that the information I receive will knot up a bunch of Christian panties into an excruciatingly uncomfortable wad. Not that it’s my intention to do so. Like I said… I never wanted to know this information, let alone share it. Primarily because I know I will be attacked, damned to hell and shamed for it. But I figure, hey, my life already sucks. I might as well tell the truth since that is what I came here to do. Kicking and screaming.