Friday, December 25

The children recite a Christmas verse in their room (usually they have learnt one in school)...

Next they go to the living room and start hitting the Tió with some stick while singing...

And then they check for presents that have magically appeared underneath... they know it's over when they only find chocolate coins or candy. (btw that's my blurred arm on the left)We did the Tió yesterday evening, with my nephew Pau and my daughters. It's great to see them so excited running to their room and back... usually the Tió brings small gifts and the Three Wise Men will bring the big ones on the 6th of January.Today we're going to my in laws for lunch and then home sweet home... Both me and hubby are quite "homey" people.

Sorry for not updating much, have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Thursday, October 29

The girls were in bed and hubby and I were just about to watch a film on tv when I found this on the floor. It was face down, with a drawing of two mermaids on the other side. This side read "Today was my worst day of school ever, I had an awful time, my best friend stood me up...." Alicia's childish handwriting went on to tell about her worst day of school and I couldn't help but go back to the girls room and see if she was still awake, which she was. We talked for a while and she told me about her trouble in class... no big deal, at least for an adult, but in the eyes of a 7 year old, her problems with two of her classmates were really big. Anyway... I think I conforted her... went back to watch tv and 5 minutes later she was knocking on the door of the living room. "I just wanted to tell you you're a good person", she said, and went back to bed.So now you know. I'm a good person.

Saturday, October 24

I was having dinner with my daughters (hubby was still at work) when Cristina said something about "mom" dying. She wasn't referring to me, she was just playing a game with her doll and it was her doll's mom that had died, so she was comforting her toy. Alicia told her the doll must be sad, because we would all be sad if a member of our family died, right mom? (she asked me). "Yes, we'd be sad, of course", I answered. "Like the time when you thought daddy was dead, remember?" And then she told me almost everything that had happened more than two years ago, when hubby had his second seizure when we were all having breakfast. She remembered I was crying, and worried -while talking on the phone with the paramedics- that he might be dead. I do remember that day, of course. I remember Alicia (who was not even 5 years old then) saying she didn't "think" dad was dead. I'm amazed that she remembers the day with so much detail after so long, and that she chose to tell me about it today. She never talks about it.

And after recreating this second seizure, she talked about the day when her father had a seizure in the park. "You know, mom, I don't understand why people would want to put a spade in his mouth". "What do you mean?", I asked. "I saw somebody trying to put a spade in his mouth, why would they want him to have sand in his mouth?". I understand why she says that. That "somebody" probably wanted to make sure my husband wouldn't bite his tongue. Something they shouldn't do, but they probably didn't know. In my daughter's mind, it made no sense to take a spade (you know, the kind children use to play with sand) and try to put it in her father's mouth. That annoyed her. And she's still scared about her father doing some kind of "somersault" backwards. (That's the way she described the first seconds of his seizure, right before he fell to the ground and started "twisting" ). Then she went on to explain how Cristina was crying and trying to get her father to wake up, how somebody found his cell phone and then they went through his address book and started asking her if she knew this or that person (trying to find out who to call until someone thought the best thing to do would be to ask her mom's name)....

And at last, she confided that she's a bit scared to go out alone with her father sometimes, in case "that" happens again. I told her I can always go along with them, if she feels that way. I really don't know what's best. I also told her his father's condition is quite controlled, and it doesn't happen so often, but still...

The thing is, I had tried to talk to her about that incident long ago, but she didn't seem too interested or just tried to avoid the subject. But today she surprised me by not only bringing it up, but actually telling me everything. Without my asking...

Saturday, October 10

Busier and lazier...yesterday I had the chance to actually "teach" for the first time. It was just part of my training, and the "students" were my classroom mates. So there I was, telling them about comparatives and superlatives, how they are formed.... I used a powerpoint presentation, but I relied too much on it, because I was nervous and felt insecure, so it was easy for me to just shield behind the screen and avoid too much eye contact with the class. WRONG. Then I was told the topic I chose was too easy. I'm aware of that, my mistake. Anyway. It was a huge success for me considering that, when I was in high school I was so shy I'd rather fail than make a public presentation. I've realized it's easy to criticize a teacher, but it's so hard to be a good one!

Tuesday, September 1

I almost deleted this blog, and then I started to go over the last 3 years (I can't believe it's been so long) and decided I would print some of it first, since some of the posts were about my daughters, milestones and such... Anyway, I changed my mind. It still feels strange to write a blog about anything that comes to my mind that's of no particular interest to anyone but me, but I guess I'm strange like that...

So, what's new?

1- My husband had two seizures last month. One when he was at work, and the second one in the hospital, so he had to stay for the night. Tomorrow we're going to the funny "doctor" in France... I haven't gotten used to the seizures or the funny man. Seizures are unpredictable, sudden, and always scare me, even if I don't see it happening. But, we've got to live with them... that is, unless his newly change medication finally does the trick. Will it? This time? I have faith.

2- I've started a family tree. I've gathered quite a lot of information from my father's side of the family, and I have to say I love the research part. So far, everyone in my family back to the late 1700 seems to be from this land. I've looked at old photographs my father kept, along with old postcards, and it seems as if I'm making them "live" somehow.

This was my father's aunt. From his comments, the mental image I have of her is that of a freedom loving woman, never married, but fled with her lover/partner to Mexico when the civil war started in Spain. I have an old poscard with her "husband" and two boys they had in Mexico, but that's all.

And this is my paternal grandma. I never met her, I was only a few months old when she died. Don't know much about her either. Tracing relatives is kind of easier I guess because in Spain we all have two last names: one from the father and the other from the mother. Women don't change their last name when they get married, which seems better to me than the widespread practice of giving up your last name and adopt your husband's... Don't you think?

Monday, June 29

This title is in honour of one of my teachers this year. One I didn't like much, actually. She taught her subject in English, but I'd say many of her students were better in English than her, so it's been... strange. And she always used the expression "this and that" in the middle of sentences. I had never heard it before, is it a common expression in English??Anyway... all my grades were good (mostly Bs and two As). Not bad. Problem is, my best friend in the university is this over achiever, talented, intelligent woman (my own age) and so far she has 5 "10" with honors (way over A). It's hard not to feel a failure when somebody else at your side is so good. Something bothers me about one of my examinations. It was about philosophy, and I had to write about Education (fairly easy), Marx and education (not difficult) and Sartre. I never understood Sartre, so I didn't even write a single sentence about this man.

"The basis of Sartre's existentialism can be found in The Transcendence of the Ego. To begin with, the thing-in-itself is infinite and overflowing. Sartre refers to any direct consciousness of the thing-in-itself as a "pre-reflective consciousness." Any attempt to describe, understand, historicize etc. the thing-in-itself, Sartre calls "reflective consciousness." There is no way for the reflective consciousness to subsume the pre-reflective, and so reflection is fated to a form of anxiety, i.e. the human condition..."

This is just an extract from wikipedia, but I still don't get it. Do you?

Saturday, June 20

I'm going to need to go through some rehab program. Seriously. It's only been two days, but I'm alredy missing school. University, that is. The atmosphere, the classes, my new friends. It's been a great, busy first year... Maybe we're too young when we go to college or uni or whatever you call it. When you're in your thirties, you no longer worry too much about grades or getting rid of the work, you're there to enjoy and learn, and I know I have.

Oh, and... speaking about being hooked. I talked to my doctor and I'm slowly getting off my antidepressant. Hope I can stay without it.