Not a writer, with a story to tell

Hi all. Writing is not something I've ever considered one of my strong points. We all have talents, and writing is just not one of mine. However, almost a year ago my spouse told me about the fact that he (she) was transgender. The story has progressed from cross dressing, to wanting to become a woman, to dressing as a woman full time, to starting on hormones. I've done some reading and talking to other people in the same situation and have found similarities and differences with my story. Although there are a number of books by people who are transgender, there are not as many by spouses. Many people I talk to have little knowledge about the subject and are genuinely intrigued about this story.

I have started writing, but this seems like a monumental task. I've read here that this is not uncommon, even for experienced writers. I guess what I need to do is write the story, then take it from there. I'm concerned about the length of the book - too short in my case - and about poor writing quality. That's what editors are for, right? I've given up on this a few times, but each time I give up, I start again. is that a sign that I should just write?

Your story sounds very interesting, and I must say you sound remarkably calm and well adjusted about what must have been a life changing revelation. From your 'voice' that comes through in this post I think there is a strong chance that you could tell this story well, despite whether or not you think you can write it. So, when you say 'poor writing', what do you mean? If it's just the basic nuts and bolts of writing such as spelling and punctuation, then an editor can sort that for you (although you should try and make it as polished as possible first). However, an editor is not there to tell the story for you, so you have to figure out what to put in and what to leave out, and how to organise your narrative. So, I say just get writing. Pour out your story as if you were telling it to someone you've just met, as I'm sure you've done countless times before in meeting other women in similar situations to you. then, when you feel like you've said all there is to say, put it away for a little while to give it time to breathe. Then look at it again and see if it reads the way you want it to. Redraft. Show it to someone you trust to cast an educated eye over it. Revise.

I agree with Kallithrix. Your story certainly does sound interesting. I'm actually very curious and intrigued by it and would love to read more (that's usually the hardest part). Why not try starting a blog and writing down your story chronologically? I'm sure a story like this that may be short at first would have much more to tell as the years pass. Writing a blog would be as easy as posting in this very forum and you seem to have a grasp on the story telling aspect. I'd say give it a shot. You've already got one follower.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have been blogging since this all began, a couple times a week at first, but less often lately. I probably should get back to doing more of that. I have parts of the book written also, but I also need to put more of it together. I guess I'm not totally sure where I'm going with all of this either. I'll keep writing and reading this forum.

First up that must have been a difficult situation to find yourself in, the decisions you would have to make, more so. Kudos to you for getting through it to the point where you can talk (or write) about it. I imagine if you've seen a therapist, they would have said that writing your story would have been good for you. Let it all out, that sort of thing. I'm sure they would probably have said the same thing to others.

So my thought would be that if you're in this situation there must be others. Maybe it would be good to talk to some of them about writing a collaborative work. Some of them may be better with the nuts and bolts of writing and they would likely have a similar story to tell. If nothing else you might gain some comradery out of it.

I've given up on this a few times, but each time I give up, I start again. is that a sign that I should just write?

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Yes! The key to writing a good story is this: "Does your story need to be written?" From what you've written, that's not even in question, right? Your story is BEGGING to be written. You can't even give it up, because it nags at you in the back of your mind, doesn't it? And you keep at it, trying again from scratch. It's not only a sign that you should write it, it's also a sign that you are a writer.

Learning how to write is difficult. You are going to get so frustrated with your work, and you will at times think you were never meant to be a writer. Those thoughts will be false. We all have that thought every now and then. You've already found this website which is great because if you ever have a question about anything, people will give you very helpful advice. It might take a few hours or days, but the advice will come. I would also recommend listening to the "Writing Excuses" podcast. Extremely helpful advice for all writing.

I would also recommend that you start other "projects" from time to time, especially when you are getting overwhelmed with your current project. This will make you a more experienced, well-rounded writer, and you'll see huge improvements in your writing. Try getting out of "memoir" mode and write some fiction based loosely off your life. For example, someone getting married, or a man who is in his later years with grandchildren. It doesn't even have to be about a transgender person at all. I can't imagine what you've gone through, and are still going through. All of your experience gives you insight into much more than just transgender reawakening, and you'll no doubt come up with some ideas for "random" stories, too. For these other projects, you don't have to write the entire book, but get started on one. Short stories can be a great breath of fresh air when working on a massive project.

To write your book is going to take a lot of work. But keep going, because your final product is worth the struggle. Imagine how many people it will inspire, how many lives it will change. The world needs your story, but it can wait until you're ready to share it.

This is great, now I'm inspired again! I'm an emotional roller coaster when it comes to writing this book. I start out enthused, thinking about telling my story, then begin struggling, then go down into the giving up stage. Eventually I'm out of that stage and start struggling to write again, then something gets me to believe I'll be rich and famous (meaning I'll make more than $1.00 and there will be more than one person reading the book). Anyway, the roller coaster with my emotions goes up and down. I've been through that with my life over the past year, so I certainly don't need the same thing with writing. My blog is www.transconfused.com where you can read some of the story and see samples of my writing. I will say the writing has improved over the course of the year. My early posts probably still have some spelling errors and typos.

Very interesting premise for a novel (or novella/novelette). I read the example of the story on your webpage, it is very good. But at the same time I'm a bit skeptical as to how it will work. Do you have an "end" point in mind? If you're not already doing so, make sure you keep a journal while all of this is happening.