Addison man finds way with Break the Grey

Wednesday

Oct 23, 2013 at 5:00 PM

By Myndi MillikenDaily Telegram Special Writer

This week, a special teen program called Break the Grey is making its way around Lenawee County schools as part of a nationwide tour. But some teens and teachers will be noticing a familiar person in the cast of this assembly, meant to help students focus on good choices and to break the bad habits of substance abuse, bullying and poor self-esteem.

Brett Spencer, now 25, grew up in Addison and now serves as an intern for Break the Grey, led by motivational speaker and singer Bill Ballenger. Spencer will join Ballenger in his stops this week, including Adrian High School on Thursday, Oct. 24, using music, skits and interactive discussions to challenge students and teach them about how to stop making destructive choices.

Spencer admits, some might be surprised to see him in this role.

"I went to Addison my whole life and a lot of people know me and my family," he said. "I was a typical A and B student but then I fell into the wrong crowd and started making a lot of bad decisions. Then my grades dropped dramatically and I started doing whatever would please me and not caring about the consequences."

Those who know Spencer may remember he was involved in a head-on car collision during his senior year, March 21, 2007.

"It was on the front page of the Telegram, so everybody knew about it," he said. "I received over $100,000 and I immediately started to blow it all just trying to please myself and everyone around me."

Spencer said he began doing whatever it took to make friends, making some very destructive decisions.

"I thought I was happy but I was just being very selfish. I did whatever I thought would make me popular — drugs, drinking, being mean — I did whatever I could to be loved by others and have their approval," he said.

Spencer said the money allowed him to "buy friends, to buy whatever I wanted. Even if I wasn't old enough, with that kind of money you can always find someone to get it for you."

Spencer said he didn't realize to what extent he was hurting himself and others.

"I would use people and they would use me," he said. "It wasn't the great life I thought it was. I hurt a lot of people, especially my family."

Through it all, Spencer said his mother, Kay Spencer, never gave up on him.

"She continued to love me through bad decisions and selfishness," he said. "It was really her love that helped me to realize that there's so much more to life than making myself happy."

Kay Spencer said her son, being the youngest of four children, was challenged by wanting to be successful and popular despite constant bullying through school.

"He started running with the wrong crowds and got himself in trouble," she said. "But I told him I will never give up on him and always encouraged him, loved him and prayed for him."

Spencer decided to turn his life around, and to try to help others avoid the decisions he made.

"For so long, I lived a life that was dark and selfish," he said, noting he quit drugs, drinking and smoking. He also joined the Break the Grey crew. "I felt this was a perfect place, because I could give back and hopefully be an example for kids to not make the same mistakes I was making as a teen."

At Break the Grey, Spencer said he has gained more than experience — he has gained a new perspective on life.

"You name it, I do it, from sound to Web design to singing backup for Bill.

"The (concept) that Bill touches on a lot in assemblies is that we all just want to be loved. That's what I was chasing. I always felt like I had to be this amazing person to never stop giving to be loved — that's why my mom's love rang so clear to me, because you don't have to be anybody but who you are to be loved."

"I can't even tell you how this has impacted so many people and our family," Kay Spencer said. "He has brought unspeakable joy to our family. When Brett made the decision to change the direction of his life, he immediately attracted different friends and people who are supportive to him."

Kay Spencer said she's proud of him and how his new decisions have already helped others.

"Brett's whole life change has been such a reward as a parent, with him coming back to his hometown and community — it's absolutely amazing and one of the greatest rewards as a mom that I have ever had."

Ballenger said, "I wish I had this opportunity in every city we go to. Brett's going to run into people who know him and they know the old Brett. This is an opportunity for him to show someone can make it and go a different direction and a different route."

Ballenger describes Spencer as a great leader.

"He's amazing to have on our team," he said. "He's had a rocky past and I think it's good for him to give back."

Ballenger said he hopes Spencer's presence can make a connection with the students this week.

"There's just these moments when a connection is made with the students — where for a moment they see what they can be and what they can achieve."

Break the Grey will be presented to students on Thursday morning, and a concert open to the public will be at 7 p.m. Thursday.———

Note: This story has been updated to correct the spelling of Brett Spencer's last name.