How To: Dress Up For Halloween

The Foolproof AskMen Guide To Having The Best Costume At The Party This Year

Chances are, if you're reading this, you probably want to go to a Halloween party (or at least try to get some free candy), and to do that, you need a costume. Complain all you want, but there's nothing lamer than showing up to a Halloween party without one. And don't even try any of that "I'm going as myself" crap.

Even if you're totally wild for Halloween, sometimes coming up with a cool, original costume can be a challenge. So, we here at AskMen have put together a set of guidelines to help inspire some ideas and narrow down your choices.

1. DO: Be Topical

Here’s a prediction: when you step out of your house on Halloween, this year you’re going to find thousands and thousands of men, women, and children, roaming the streets, all dressed as bent iPhone 6es. Those same people will have their PSY/"Gangnam Style" and Twerkin’ Miley costumes of yesteryear collecting dust in an attic. There’s a reason for that: We like to be current, and part of that is having a topical Halloween costume. In addition to less-than-straight mobile tech, this year we’re already seeing Ice Bucket challenge outfits starting to crop up, and distraught Brazilian soccer fan get-ups can’t be far behind.

It's something hard to judge, but if you're going to go as a real person you have to keep it current. There's no strict set of rules for this, but chances are if none of your friends or co-workers are talking about it, then it's not going to make a good costume. If you have an idea, but aren't quite sure how to pull it off, flip through some tabloids or run a Google image search. But again, make sure you're looking at current pictures. You don't want everyone to know how ill-informed you really are.

2. DON’T: Be Topical And Offensive

I can't focus on school?!???? I'm too busy figuring out how to turn "slutty Ebola" into a Halloween costume

No, Ebola doesn’t make a sexy Halloween costume. It’s tough to make a case for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria being very funny, and you’d best stay away from anything Malaysian Air. Civil war in the Ukraine isn’t much for laughs either. See a pattern forming here? You may think it’s a stroke of genius to dress up like the above, but the reason other people aren’t dressing up like victims of major tragedies isn’t because it’s a brilliant idea that only you’ve thought of; it’s because it’s tasteless.

Q: Is my costume referencing an event in which people died, were badly injured or otherwise went through some sort of tragedy?

No. —> I’m probably in the clear!

Yes. —> Hmm, on second thought, it would difficult to both wear this costume and not be dick. Reconsider.

3. DO: Consider The Subdued Look

Crazy though it may seem, this isn't always the best way to go. (amazon.com)

No one says you have to go balls-to-the-wall elaborate for Halloween. Sometimes a cool mask or some creative face paint combined with some formal wear gets the job done. A nice suit alone could work perfectly as a simple costume idea; you could claim you’re Don Draper, Sherlock Holmes, and with a bit of modification, basically anybody from Boardwalk Empire. If you're the type of person who'd never be caught dead in one, then a suit works even better. Defy expectations by doing something unexpected — that's what Halloween is all about.

4. DON’T: Spend A Ridiculous Amount

This Transformer costume from Etsy is totally sweet. It also costs the same as a car.

Let’s face it, half the point of your Halloween costume is to show people how clever and with it you are. You’re going to seem a lot less clever if you tell the people you’ve just wowed that actually, that replica Heisenberg hat cost you $650.

As this handy Google Trends chart shows, nobody cares about Halloween 11 months of the year. You might think you'll impress your friends with a costume you ordered from Japan that arrived in three separate boxes, but what are you going to do with all those extra cyborg attachments come November 1st?

A Google Trends chart of searches for Halloween over the past five years. Guess which time of year is October.