Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Captive?

As 2012 came to an end, I found myself feeling rather happy and sad. All at the same time!

Happy and grateful for all God had done for me, throughout the year. Happy and grateful for the people God brought into my life, that were such blessings to me.

But, also rather sad, thinking that another year of being alone, was coming to an end.

So, rather than feel low in spirit, I concentrated on a new beginning. 2013, a new year. A new era for God to bless me through.

I must admit that it is hard dealing with pain, every day. Yes, God helped me, by providing for me through friends and nurses, so I would know to increase my pain medication.

However, it doesn't change the fact that I still experience some pain, daily.

Physical pain, from the drainage tube I still have, plus pain from what I am praying is not yet another hernia.

When I last visited my surgeon, just two (2) days prior to my surgery on December 20th, we discussed not just the lump that he was going to do surgery on, but also another lump just north of the proposed surgical area. It too, was causing me pain.

Thinking that he would address this issue during surgery, I was completely confident. However, since the swelling from my latest surgery has been decreasing, I have once again been feeling pain, from the other lump I had mentioned to him. Obviously, he didn't even look at the area, during December 20th's surgery.

Sigh...

The only thing I can say, is that I am once again feeling like a female Job. Feeling rather like a captive. Being held prisoner by ill-health.

Still, even though I am feeling rather frustrated, I am trusting God for healing. Total healing. Healing like God gave Job.

In Job 42, we read of how God turned Job's life around, particularly in verse 10, "And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before".

This is what I am trusting God for. Total, restorative healing. The kind of healing that can only come from Him.

And, yes... I pray for my friends. As well, as for people who are not really friends.