Sex and the City meets the Dalai Lama. Buns and Marty use their lively escapades to ignite an authentic inquiry into themselves ... an emotionally-naked exposé baring all.
Their keen observations of life’s twists and turns will inspire you to use your obstacles as a path to your heart’s desire.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Remembering Daniel

The first thing everyone noticed is that smile of his. Not
only did it light up a room but you somehow felt blessed in the moment that it
landed on you. He was calm and patient and had grown into a man of amazing
depth especially considering he was only eighteen. When I think of him at fourteen,
so quiet and shy, his evolution to this open, kind young man with bright flashes
of daring was simply delightful.

His parents always told him to follow his heart…so he did.
He had just returned from Burning Man where he celebrated freedom by living
clothing free for a whole week in the desert. He had a cheeky streak when you least expected
it and a twinkle that called for mischief.

His dad Andrew and I co host a weekly radio show and Daniel would
be at the controls most Wednesdays as our engineer. Once it was just the two of
us, his dad was away and the phone lines were not co operating. We had two guests
calling in and without this technical connection there would be no interview.
Worse yet there were moments of dead air as Daniel tried repeatedly to get the
phone line functioning. I was panicking inside, the dreaded nightmare of being
live and only broadcasting silence was getting to me as I tossed CD’s to him begging for a track just to
fill the airwaves. He calmly put on the music
and figured out the problem and then that look... There was that half
side smile that said…oh well…what can you expect from life…curve balls are part
of the adventure. That smile of his could make sense of anything. It was as
much his trademark as his friendly nonjudgmental nature.

These past years were big for Daniel. He had trekked in
Peru, met with the Dali Lama in India and had just stated at Quest University
in Squamish a few weeks ago. http://www.questu.ca/

He was so happy, so full of joy and loving
everything about Quest and its alternative approach to education. He was cliff
jumping at Mamguam Falls with friends and the boys got into trouble. The
current was strong and Daniel was pushed into a rock wall by the pressure of the
water. Search and rescue helped the other two boys out. Daniel treaded that glacier
water for 45 minutes. The rescue team tried to lift him out but he fell back
into the river and did not resurface.

We gathered at the bridge over the falls to be with family,
with friends, with Daniel. At times when words hold so little meaning, when
loss is unbearable, what is there that keeps the human spirit anchored to this
plane? I believe it is the coming
together of community, of people who love the family, who love Daniel. And then
there is nothing more to do than feel what arises and hold each other.

The university was also waiting for the family to leave the bridge
and drive the brief distance to campus. Silently they stood, hundreds of
students many of whom had not even met Daniel but joined in a common intent…to
share their hearts. Candle after candle glowed bright in the darkness as the
student created vigil flowed out and offered compassion and tears of love. The
students rose one by one to share their stories of Daniel, from brief encounters
to life changing moments. Coming together in tragedy is how we are meant to
grieve, openly, with human touch and warmth. We hold onto each other to remember
our connection and that it goes far beyond the earthly plane.

It is when we ask why, or how could this have
happened that the universe fails us in answering. There is no answer that could suffice. And yet where we place our attention is important. To focus on
Daniel’s impact on the world in the short time he was here and hear about the
many lives he touched and continues to touch is the path of making meaning from
something so tragic.

I once heard a definition of a warrior as one
who hunts his own heart. That was Daniel to the core and in letting his light
inspire us we are invited to do the same. He is in his pure essence now and can
illuminate the path of the loving heart for those who hear the call.

Free in
spirit, he flies high on eagle wings and reaches out to remind us how fragile
this world really is. We can honor him by living in gratitude with grace.

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How it all began

Our sons were friends. Like brothers really. We mothers had never met but both our guys kept saying we should. Then Duncan passed away. It was through Marty's support of Buns' grieving her son that a deep friendship was forged.

Duncan inspired us. If his life, at 22, could get snuffed out like that, without any warning, then why wouldn't we live each day to the max ... grateful for every second, whether mundane or profound?

Really, we're not interested in writing just about the happy times. We are interested in also using the pain, the sorrow, the disappointments -- the realities of life -- to stretch and grow.

Inherent in everything that happens, at the heart of it lies love. Sometimes it doesn't look like love. We have to go through all the layers of ourselves authentically and feel them in order to reveal that essence.

But hey. It's not all serious. We have a blast. We go blindly into spontaneous adventures that some might consider reckless (Marty's word), or random (Buns' word), but regardless, whatever it is we are doing, we are awake and choosing to live out loud.

If you want to catch all the glorious details of the Buns and Marty escapades, you can start with our first post under Blog Archive (November 2010 -- Today has already been amazing -- and read the posts from bottom to top).

A BUNS & MARTY UPDATE!

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