Secret email from the Archbishop to Gordon Brown

Sources close to the Church of England have admitted today that a secret email has indeed been sent by the Archbishop to Mr Brown.

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury emailed Gordon Brown asking the Prime Minister to consider taxing the Church of England members converting to Roman Catholicism.

He said:

"In times of great economic hardship like ours it is the duty of the Church to advise the civil government on ways of making easy money. I am therefore giving you advance notice that millions will soon convert to Catholicism and it is high time for making easy money out of this exodus.

"You may consider legislation for a Conversion Tax payable by such converts. I would imagine that a tax of £5.000 per conversion would be appropriate. I would also ask you to make half of this tax revenue transferable to the Church of England as consultancy fee.

"You can rest assured that I should do my best to encourage our members to convert in order to increase your tax revenue and our fee."

There has been a reply from the Prime Minister but his hand-written letter wasn't legible. The Archbishop said that Mr Brown could be speaking "in tongues".

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