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I didn't like it, so sue me: The worst of OLTL 2013:
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After the party, Joey catches Kelly alone and she is very uncomfortable.
They talk about everything except their prior relationship that Dorian,
unbeknownst to them, ruined. Finally, Joey gets frustrated with Kelly
avoiding the issue and acting like strangers and asks her if things have
changed that much. She tells him things have changed that much. At this
point, Ian comes back from getting a bag of ice and Dorothy also comes back
in so that conversation ended. Joey and Dorothy leave.

At Bo's, Hank, Nora and Bo discuss Rachel's involvement with R.J. and his
latest run-in with a mafia crime boss. They realize the futility of their
efforts to get her away from R.J. Bo, surprisingly, defends her. They also
realize the pluses of independence. As they continue to discuss these
issues, Carlotta and Andrew stop by to report Eli has run away again. This
time with enough cash (from the tip jar at the Diner) to get him out of
Llanview. Bo gets his cops on it right away. Hank tries to convince Carlotta
that she might want reconsider the Eli adoption deal. She refuses and before
they get into an argument, Hank drops the subject and they leave Bo's.

In another part of the city, Téa tries to hold a conversation with a silent Todd. She excitedly talks about Starr's Halloween night. As Todd continues to ignore her, she throws a piece of candy corn at him and that gets his attention and he jumps up threateningly. She laughs, then he goes back to ignoring her. She then rants about Blair's antics with Starr on Halloween night. (Is Téa jealous of Blair's relationship with Starr and Todd - is she falling in love with Todd?). She calls him on it when he says Blair didn't bother him while with Starr. At this point, before they get into a fight, Rachel comes knocking on the door. As Téa hugs her, Todd slaps Téa on her behind. Rachel seeing this was not playful and there was some tension in the air, politely tries to excuse herself, but, Téa stops her from leaving. She then invokes a clause in her prenuptial agreement with Todd that says Todd has to leave the Penthouse when Téa is entertaining friends. Todd refuses to leave, but finally agrees to go upstairs to his room and he takes his candy corn can and apples with him so Rachel and Téa can't have any - pretty much like a little boy!

Téa then asks Rachel why she's really there - in the lion's den. It must be pretty serious. She explains that a big mob guy is trying to muscle in on
R.J./Jacara's success with Club Indigo and Blue Jay Records. To get rid of the
guy, R.J. agrees to sign on a singer he was trying to push in exchange for
leaving the company alone. She thinks R.J. was right in making the deal, but
wants Téa's opinion. Téa tells her she needs to be careful because a small deal with a bad man can turn into a bigger deal fast. Rachel tells her it's already a bigger deal because Jacara dissolved their partnership. She says Jacara and R.J. made a good team and she brought out the best in R.J., now
Jacara is talking to Max about a partnership. Téa tells her Max is
completely broke and will not be able to come through. Rachel is ecstatic to
hear this and leaves to go to Rodi's.

In the meantime, Kelly is frantically and obsessively cleaning up the mess
from the Halloween party. Ian surmises that she is not over Joey. She'd
rather not talk about it, then goes on to say she can't believe about Joey
and Dorothy Hayes. Make up your mind Kelly and wise up to Dorian's tricks
or give this good-looking, rich billionaire a chance.

At Rodi's Dorothy analyzes that Joey is still in love with Kelly and they
need to keep their relationship on a friendship basis for a while to allow
Joey to sort out his feelings. Joey would rather not talk about his
relationship with Kelly, but, finally he tells Dorothy how Dorian schemed
to keep them apart and keep total control of Kelly. He explained how he
waited and waited for Kelly in Paris. He stayed on in various parts of
Europe to try to forget Kelly.

Meanwhile, Jacara, Blair and Max discuss the latest stunt R.J. pulled with the
mob guy. Jacara thinks breaking up with R.J. was the best move she ever made.
They all agree - no one has anything good to say about R.J. and speaking of
the devil, R.J. walks into Rodi's. Oh oh. He does not have a pleasant look on
his face either. Jacara and Blair are nervous. Blair tells Jacara that R.J. is
the one person she fears the most in Llanview. Max and Jacara discuss a
proposal to form a partnership of Rodi's and Blue Jay Records. Max tells
Jacara he wants a decision on her partnership with him. They finally come to
an agreement as Rachel walks into Rodi's to meet with her uncle. They ask
for everyone's attention and with R.J. and Rachel looking on, they propose a
toast and make the announcement about Rodi's and Blue Jay Records
partnership and how it was going to change Rodi's and make it the hottest
spot in Llanview.

R.J. fuming, almost exploded at the news, but, Rachel manages to calm him down
and gave him the news about Max's financial condition. This seems to please
him greatly. Boy, Rachel, do I feel sorry for you. I don't like
this............

Jessica is visiting Cristian's new apartment. They discuss how bad Cristian feels about leaving his mother's house the way he did. He's thinking about how he should make up with her when Carlotta arrives with some soup for him. Cristian still doesn't like Eli, but he assures Carlotta that she hasn't lost him as a son. After Carlotta leaves, Cristian looks out the window and notices Eli trying to remove the paint from the statue. He's torn about whether to try to catch Eli or just let him go and disappear from their lives. He finally decides to call Andrew and goes down and holds Eli until he arrives. Andrew takes Eli home to Carlotta, who is very happy to see him. Carlotta reluctantly decides that Bo, Hank and Cristian must be told the truth about what happened to the Angel statue.

Kevin tells Cassie that Duke will be visiting them next summer, if it's OK with Cassie. He also mentions that his visit with Duke made him want them to all become a family. Cassie is surprised and seems a little hesitant about the commitment. They are interrupted by Joey, who stopped by to talk to Kevin. Cassie heads upstairs while the the two Buchanan brothers have a discussion about the past few months. Joey is a little upset to return to find his brother has broken up Cassie and Andrew's marriage. The marriage was in trouble long before he got involved, Kevin defends himself. He is a little unsure of Cassie's commitment to their relationship, though. Kevin's tried to give her all the space she needs, but she's still unable to tell him that she loves him. Kevin is upset with Joey that he broke up with Kelly in a letter. Kelly was absolutely devastated, Kevin tells him, but she doesn't blame Joey for the accident. Joey admits that he shouldn't have sent the letter, he just felt that he and Kelly would never be free from Dorian. If Joey still has feelings for Kelly, talk to her about it, Kevin advises. After Joey leaves, Cassie apologizes for seeming reluctant about them becoming a family. She reminds Kevin that today is the anniversary of their first kiss, the one on the night Carlo was killed. Kevin suggests they go up to Viki's cabin to spend the weekend. Cassie agrees, but first she wants to visit Melinda, whom she hasn't seen yet.

After coming home from the Halloween party, Kelly and Ian are kissing at Dorian's when they are rudely interrupted by Blair. Ian leaves and Blair and Kelly start one of their usual fights. Dorian rushes down the stairs and tells them to be quiet, they'll wake Melinda. Suddenly, they hear a crash from upstairs. It was Melinda, she knocked over a lamp when she got up. Although Dorian tries to convince them not to, Kelly and Melinda head back upstairs to have a chat and get to know each other better. Blair wonders why Dorian is so determined to keep Kelly from speaking to Melinda. Dorian admits that she's afraid Melinda might bring up stories from the past that might be upsetting. Dorian's had so many falsely interpreted stories told about her in the past, Addie claiming that Dorian hurt her when it was actually the other way around, etc. Dorian claims she's only worried because Kelly is fragile and she doesn't want to see Kelly hurt.

Jacara is working at home. Nora has stopped by to talk about the
agreement Jacara has made with Max. Jacara wants to know if Max is
trustworthy. Nora fills her in on Max and the many businesses he has
owned. She believes he can be trusted. Jacara reminds her that is what
she was told about R.J. Speaking of that, Nora wants to know if there was
something personal between Jacara and her former brother in law. Jacara
says that there were possibilities which were not explored. Nora warns
her the closer anyone gets to R.J., the more the danger, and she has known
R.J. a long time and is speaking from experience. Max, on the other hand,
may ploy and scheme with the best of them but he is not malevolent.
There is a knock at the door. It is R.J. He compliments Jacara on her
looks and asks Nora what is missing from her life that she must get into
his business. Nora replies what she is doing is her business and she
does not like him barging in on her client. R.J. says it is up to Jacara
whether she wants to see him. He is a friend and wants to speak to her.
She has no reason to be afraid of him. Jacara consents to the meeting
and Nora leaves to speak to Max.

R.J. admits he is hurt and betrayed but he cares too much to just walk
away. She was obviously scared of the personal stuff between them. He
was rattled too. Jacara denies any fear. She left because he went behind
her back. He agrees she has a right to be angry, but can she honestly say
there was not more than her record company and his club? And does she
honestly want to throw that away. R.J. kisses her and Jacara does not
look like it is unpleasurable. In fact after the briefest of pauses,
the share another, longer kiss before Jacara calls the action to a
halt. This is obviously as far as she will go and R.J. knows it, so he
changes his tact and gets down to the real business at hand. He wants
to know what she expects from Max Holden. If it is money, she should
know that Max is tapped out and she deserves better. He doesn't have
the money to keep Blue Jay afloat, like R.J. has been doing. Jacara asks
why she should believe him. He says because it is the truth. He tells
her to check it out. She replies she will and asks him to leave. R.J.
wants her to tell him what she finds out.

Max and Blair

Blair wants to follow through with the plan to get her hooks into Ian
and his money. Max is more preoccupied with his own troubles and the
money he needs to invest in Blue Jay. Blair says that she is worried
about Kelly making headway with Ian. She needs to act fast. Once she
lands Ian, she will divert some cash to Max. He says that will be too
late. She suggests he sell off some of his property to Asa, but he will
not hear of that. Blair persists that Max must give her a plan. He
tells her the old Blair would not need a plan. He is beginning to tick
her off. Max says the old Blair would have swallowed Ian whole. Blair
replies that she is new and improved and more subtle. The new Max, on the
other hand, has lost his once fertile imagination. And that is what she
needs most to formulate a plan. She could not stand seeing Todd and Téa
with Starr on Halloween and Todd saying to Starr to say good bye to
Mommy. You won't be seeing her for a while. Max says all she needs is
her beautiful self. That's the plan. Do what she does best and Ian
doesn't stand a chance and neither does her cousin Kelly.

The Sun- Todd, Charlie and Téa

Todd is on a rampage. The Sun's circulation is way down. Todd doesn't
want boring headlines like "Safest Holloween Ever", he tells Charlie, not
even if it is true. He wants to put the Horror in Halloween. Charlie
says that Blair will be hard to replace and that he has made inquires to
several likely candidates for the position and no one wants to work for
Todd. Todd says to sweeten the deal. Charlie yammers on about low
morale and how they must get someone before everyone quits. Téa arrives
and suggests that Todd take a break. They can have brunch at the
Country Club.

Country Club-Clint, Viki, Joey, Jessica, Kevin, Todd, Téa and Blair

Clint remarks how glad he is that Joey's return is bringing the whole
family together. He can't remember the last brunch they all shared
together. He is in a happy mood. the Banner's circulation has gone up.
Viki guesses that he would like to know if she acted on his suggestion
to see Mary Hayes professionally. Well, she did have one appointment
with Dr. Maude and that is all she has to report so far. Jessica arrives
and asks what is happening between her parents. Viki switches to
parental mode and inquires what is going on with Jessie. She was out
all hours on a school night without permission. Jessica gets her back
up and says she is a senior now and besides there is a teacher's
conference and no school today. Viki explains that she was ready to go
to bed at 1am but had to wait up. Jessica replies she was at Cris's
apartment and nothing happenened. She and Cris found Eli. At Cris's
apartment, her mother asks facetiously. Jessie says she does not like
Viki's tone. Clint is about to intercede, but Viki says Jessie is right
about her tone and they should let their daughter tell them what
happened last night. Jessica explains that she and Cris found Eli in
Angel Square and took him home to Carlotta. Don't they trust her? Clint
and Viki both say they do. So why don't they tell her what they were
talking about when she arrived if they trust her? Joey and Kevin show up
saving them the embarassment. Kevin says they are kicking Todd's butt
but he will contain his glee. Joey remarks that this is a family
breakfast not a business meeting. Clint believes it would not do his
younger son harm to take a serious interest in the family business. Viki
agrees with Joey that they have more important things to do right now
and at the Banner than getting into a media war. Just as she says this
Todd and Téa arrive and stop by the table.

Todd comments that Joey must have been thrown out of Europe. Joey does
not take it personally and introduces himself to his new Aunt Téa,
laughingly asking if he may address her as Tia Téa. Téa takes the cue
and keeps it light by answering him in Spanish. Kevin needles Todd
about the Sun's low circulation and Téa drags her husband off to another
table.

Téa tells Todd to calm down. Having a good time was the purpose of this
outing. Todd says that he does not want his "rat bastard father's money
going to that preppie Punk." Téa counters that she has been wondering
what it would take to make him happy and what it would be like if he
was. She counts off the many blessings he has to enjoy in his
life-money, position, his daughter. What could be missing? Todd answers
a fortress around Starr. Téa replies that would not be a normal life
for his daughter. It would be like when the little girl was sick and her
contact with people was severely restricted. Téa does not think that is
what Todd would want for Starr. WHAT IF...WHAT IF, Todd asks, the Sun
goes down in flames. Téa replies, does he mean the center of the
universe or the newspaper. Both. He should have a string of newspapers
like Guy Armitage. Téa suggests maybe Ian can help him. Just at that
moment Ian shows up at the Country Club and Todd asks him to join them
and he and Todd can have a little chat- one newspaper man to another.

Ian and Todd talk for a moment about Todd being one of the last people
to speak to Guy. Todd asks what it it like to run his father's
business. Téa offers to do the cliche and go to the ladies room and
powder her nose. Just as she is reaching the hallway, she meets Blair.
Looking to do business with Todd, Téa asks. Blair says she is looking
for Ian. Téa replies, it looks like he is already doing business and
nods off in the direction of Todd's table. She leaves and Blair says to
herself "Well, Max, Time for Plan two."

Téa returns to the table and tells Todd that it looks like Blair was not
happy with him talking to Ian. Blair wanting a zillionaire, Todd
remarks, Go figure. And Ian did not really want to talk business with
him either. Téa reassures Todd that he can be a media mogul like Guy,
but will it make him happy? Todd replies sincerely that if he is ever
happy, he will let her know.

At Viki's table, the brothers Buchanan show their different view points
about life. Kevin is all serious about stories the Banner can do and
Joey is busy joking about it. Kevin and Clint get up and go off to the
Banner and Kevin's happiness seems based on soundly trouncing the Sun.
Viki has a heart to heart with Joey. He says that Mom should go back to
work too, because he cannot afford to pay for brunch. She replies she
will pay, but he will make dinner. Then she asks if he has seen Kelly.
He admits that it did not go well. Viki reminds him that he did not let
Kelly down gently when he sent that letter. Joey replies that maybe he
should not have let her down at all. Viki says that she got that
impression when she visited him in Italy. He admits that he still cares
for Kelly, but what can he do. She is caught up with Ian. He has
already tried speaking to her. Viki says he should try again.

Rodi's-Nora, Max, Renee, Blair, Jacara

Max does not seem his confident self. Nora asks if this is the time to
make such a large investment. He tells her this is the best prospect he
has had since Luna found oil at Serenity Springs. All he needs is a
loan. Renee walks in and he asks her for some money and she takes out
her wallet. He says he needs more than that. Nora tells Renee that Blue
Jay is a sound company. Renee knows how important this is to Max, so she
gives him the money because she loves him, not because she is interested
in the music business. Jacara shows up and asks if he has the money.
He says he does and he wants to ask a favor of her. He would like her
to sing in honor of their partnership. She agrees.

Meanwhile...At the Palace hotel, a smug and confident R.J. is ordering
roses be sent up to Jacara's room.

Blair returns for the country club. Max greets her ecstatically with
his wonderful news about being a music mogul. He tries to reach across
the bar and kiss her, but she pushes him away. Good for him, but what
about her. Ian cares more about Todd's company than hers. Max jokingly
suggests she should use Todd's hair conditioner. Blair is not kidding.
She is stumped as to how to get closer to Ian. Max says how about a
yacht. Blair reminds him that neither of them have one. Max replies he
can arrange it. He will take care of the yacht and she can take care of
Ian.

Dorian's House- Cassie,Kelly and Joey

Cassie stops by to see how Melinda is faring. Kelly says a lot better
than she thought, except for her reaction to Dorian in the witches'
costume. The good news is that Kelly is no longer terrified of her
mother. Cassie admits they are both dealing with parental issues.
Kelly is curious just when Cassie will confront Dorian about the phone
bills to Austria. Cassie says she needs to get all her facts together
about David Renaldi and her mother and then hit Dorian with it. Cassie
guesses there is more on Kelly's mind than Melinda or Dorian. Could it
have something to do with Joey being back in town? And has she seen him
yet?. Kelly says it doesn't matter. He hasn't come knocking down her
door. Cassie reminds her that she has been out of town with mother and
as she leaves, she counsels Kelly to give Joey a chance.

Joey is knocking on the door. He is carrying a replica of the statue of
David. He shows Kelly that not only is this a classic piece of art, but
if she turns it upside down, it is a flashlight. He demonstrates this
and winds up shining the light in Kelly's face. He apologizes and then
tells her that he was just in the neighborhood and wanted to take the
opportunity to talk to her and give her this present. Kelly asks, "Are
you serious?" He replies that he is absolutely serious.

Max and Blair are at Rodi's continuing their plot to get Ian aboard and
alone with Blair. Max has a friend that owns a yacht and he's obtained the keys
and use for the night. Max and Blair banter back and forth about if Blair's
lost her edge when it comes to seducing men, you know she *is* out of practice.
Blair assures Max that by the time Ian walks off that yacht he'll be jello.
Blair tracks down Ian at The Palace Hotel. He's making arrangements with Renee
for his dinner date with Kelly. Blair overhears a small portion of this
conversation and then moves in. She convinces Ian that she's holding a small
Melador business dinner party for some important buyers from New York and that
she knows absolutely nothing about yachts. And since Ian's an expert at yachts
and is such a powerful man, he could be her escort. Ian balks at this idea, but
Blair recoups by telling him that he wouldn't really be her escort, but that the dinner
guests wouldn't know any different. He tells her he has dinner plans with Kelly
and she confirms that she overheard that their date is at 7:00. She explains
that that's perfect since her dinner is at 6:00 and that he could have just one
drink and then slip out. He reluctantly agrees and then calls Kelly and tells
her he's going to be a little late. The next time we see Blair and Max, they
are on the yacht and Blair is dressed to kill in a little black number. (This
woman had a baby when???) Max has been busy setting things up, lighting
candles, chilling champagne, etc. When he gets a look a Blair, he makes a
comment that Ian is a deadman. He proposes that since Blair's a little rusty,
maybe she should practice a little on him. She pushes him on the couch and
really lays it on thick about how he's the most secure man she knows and
especially since she's been feeling insecure herself lately, that he's the only
man she feel's can help her feel more secure. She even comment's on how "male"
he is. Max says that Ian'll never go for it. Blair points out that his [Max's] eyes
are dilating. Max (as Ian) jumps up and pretends to notice they are adrift.
Blair comments that they'll just have to find "something" to do. Max again
comments that "Ian's goose is cooked." They move back to the couch and Max is
Max again. He says he's almost sorry that things turned out the way the did (implying about
their past history together). They admit that they are still interested in each
other and start a *very* passionate kiss when Ian arrives on the yacht and calls out Blair's name.

Dorothy's New Apartment

Dorothy's moving into Patrick and Marty's old apartment with Mel's help. She
hadn't unpacked a lot of the boxes in New York, so she just had to have them
shipped to Llanview. Mel quotes a line of the poet Yates "tread lightly for
you're stepping on my dreams." They reminisce momentarily about Paddy and
Muriel. The conversation turns towards Dorothy's relocation to Llanview and her
new friend, Joey Buchanan. Mel comments that Joey seems to be a nice guy.
Dorothy gives him that "oh, dad" look and points out that they are just friends
and that Joey has some issues to work out. Mel leaves for Dorian's while
Dorothy continues to unpack. There's a knock at the door and lo-and-behold,
it's Joey. He brought her a housewarming present. It's nothing fancy just a
list of local phone numbers she'll need - you know, pizza, chinese, taxidermist,
dry cleaners. Wait a minute, taxidermist??? Joey then goes into some shpeel
about how instead of fox hunting in days of old in Llanview, they'd hunt big,
huge raccoons and that if Dorothy played her cards right, she'd be invited to one
of these raccoon hunts soon. Dorothy, quick as lightening, grasps that this is a
joke. (A pretty lame one IMHO.) He then moves on to help her start unpacking.
He comes across a painting of Dorothy's that Muriel did. She comments that
she's been trying to figure out where to hang it and can't quite come up with
the right place. Joey takes one quick look around the room and, of course,
finds the perfect place to hang it. With hammer and nails in hand, he quickly
mounts the picture. Dorothy then asks him if he spoke with Kelly. He comments
that he did and that it didn't quite go as he'd planned. In her
all-so-intuitive manner, she brings the remainder of the nails to him and tells
him that he's going to hang the rest of her pictures and work off some of that
frustration.

Dorian's House

Joey was "in the neighborhood" and dropped by. Kelly told him it wasn't a good
time since her mother was there. Joey was taken aback that Melinda was there
and said that that was really great that Kelly went and got her. Kelly pointed
out that she didn't go alone; she went with Ian Armitage. Kelly also took the liberty of pointing out
that Ian flew her to California in his private plane. She then tells Joey that
she really doesn't have time for "this" and asks him to leave. He tells her
that he hasn't said what he actually came by to say. Dorian then pokes her head
around the corner and starts to interfere with their conversation. Kelly looks
her square in the eye and informs her aunt that she "can handle this." Joey's
shocked when Dorian backs off. "Wow, things have changed," he says. Kelly
offhandedly remarks that they respect each other. Joey then leaves. Kelly and
Dorian start to discuss having some tea when Melinda walks in the room. Dorian
tries to remember the name of her latest maid, but since she can't decides to go
make the tea herself. The doorbell rings and its Cassie. Cassie and Melinda
embrace in a warm hug. It's obvious that Dorian's uncomfortable with this and
ushers everyone into the parlor. Mel shows up. Melinda comments that she'll go
get the tea and then there is a contest to see who'll accompany her - Kelly,
Cassie or Dorian. Dorian wins. When Dorian and Melinda are out of the room,
Cassie asks Kelly and Mel if it was just her imagination, or did Dorian just do
her best to keep all of them from having a conversation with Melinda. Dorian
ultimately brings the tea into the parlor and as she's pouring the tea, Melinda,
Kelly and Cassie are having a conversation. Melinda asks about River, and
Cassie dutifully offers to show her pictures. Melinda asks Cassie if River
likes fairy tales, and she comments that he likes stories about vampires and
scary things. Melinda states that it's little girls that like fairy tales and
that when she was little, they had a big book of fairy tales. The girls would
read the stories until they had each one memorized. She supposed that's why she
got so frightened seeing Dorian in the witch's costume because it reminded her of
"The Game." Just as these words flow from Melinda's lips, Dorian drops one of
the tea cups off of a saucer and it shatters!

The Police Station

Téa interrupted Bo's workday to "close a case." In walks Eli, Carlotta and
Andrew. Bo makes the comment that we wasted good manpower to find Eli and Eli
apologizes for this. He then admits that he was the one that vandalized the
angel in Angel Square and that when he tried to clean the paint off, it wouldn't
come off. Andrew steps in and offers to replace the angel, but Bo cuts him off
and tells him that a volunteer has already come forward to replace the angel.
Téa pleads Eli's case and asks Bo for community service in lieu of jail time.
Bo agrees and sentences Eli to seven hours a week for one year community service
in Angel Square. He also makes a reference to baseball concerning three strikes
and you're out. Bo hands down this sentence just as Hank walks into the room
and asks "what about strikes." Bo then tells him what Eli did. Hank, of
course, goes ballistic. He lays it on Eli pretty thick about causing Mrs. Vega
so many problems. Hank confirms that Eli's going to do community service in
addition to working at the diner and states that he expects a payment every week
for the damage to his motorcycle. Hank also wants this incident put on Eli's
record. Hank also pointed out that if there's another incident that he'll
probably be placed in a juvenile home. Bo asks Eli to stay since he needs a
formal statement. Carlotta asks to see Hank outside in the hall. She then
tells him about knowing that Eli did it long before his disappearing act. Hank
(on cue) goes ballistic again. He can't believe that Carlotta lied to him, even
as he was holding and comforting her. He can't believe that she placed more
importance in protecting Eli than in telling him the truth. She tries to
explain her actions, but he's not listening. Instead of saying something he
would regret, he turns and walks out on Carlotta.

At Llanfair, Kevin asks Viki if he can borrow the keys to the cottage, he'd like to take Cassie up there for the weekend. Viki agrees. As Kevin goes to get the keys, the doorbell rings, it's Todd. Kevin quickly leaves, brushing by Todd without saying a word. Todd's there to borrow a book from Viki, "The Lord of the Banner." Viki asks why Todd wants it. Todd explains that he wants to read it to learn how Victor became a successful newspaper man. Is Viki too threatened by him to lend him the book. Not at all, he's welcome to it, Viki says, but warns him to remember that the book doesn't tell the whole story. Todd gets a call on his cel phone, it's Téa. "I need you, right now", she tells him.

Téa, Starr and Todd

Téa and Starr went out pumpkin picking. Téa puts a pumpkin in the back seat besides Starr and reminisces that a year ago she was a lawyer in New York and now she's a wife and mommy. Starr starts crying and Téa picks up the stuffed animal which had fallen and gives it back to her. Todd paid her 5 million dollars to take on her new "job", but now Téa wants them to become a real family. And when she wants something, she usually gets it, Téa tells Starr. Téa tries to leave, but the car won't start.

Téa's looking under the hood of her car when Todd arrives. Téa doesn't know what's wrong, maybe it's the carborator, she suggests. How long has it been since she got gas, Todd asks. Téa can't believe it, she's such a cliche, the dingbat housewife that runs out of gas. She's not use to cars, she defends herself, she grew up in New York. Todd wonders what she's doing out in the country to begin with. She and Starr were out picking pumpkins, it's the sort of things that families do, the sort of things that they should be doing together with Starr. Todd tells Téa to get Starr and put her in his car, he thinks he's had an amazingly *normal* idea.

Blair, Max, Ian, Kelly and Renee

Blair and Max are on the couch, kissing, when they hear Ian calling her name from the deck. In his haste to leave, Max accidentally drops his keys when he grabs his coat. Then he seems less concerned about leaving and stops to give Blair a CD he picked up of music he think Ian will like. Blair can use it as a tool to get Ian, he tells Blair as she urges him to leave. Just as Max walks out one door, Ian comes in the other.

Blair says that she's worried about her meeting, but she's sure everything will go fine now that Ian is here. She helps him off with his coat and gets him settled on the sofa. He hopes her guests arrive soon because he's on a tight schedule. Blair edges a little closer and asks him for a crash course about the yacht. Ian explains starboard, port, bow, stern, head, and the galley while Blair hangs on his every word. Suddenly, Ian hears a sound and feels the yacht moving. After he rushes outside to check, Blair goes over to his coat and takes his cellular phone.

Up on the deck, Ian finds the hawser(the rope that held the yacht to the dock). Someone must have done it on purpose, is Blair sure that she had no crew? Ian will just go start the engine and radio the Coast Guard. He goes up the stairs to do just that. Blair throws Ian's cellular phone overboard. Max appears and pulls Blair into a cabin. What's he still doing there, Blair asks. He lost his keys in the main cabin and can't go anywhere without them. He tells Blair to keep Ian busy on the deck while he looks for them. He pushes Blair back through the door just before Ian comes down the stairs.

There's no key for the engine and the radio isn't working. Then, he remembers his cel phone, it must be in his jacket in the cabin. Blair tries to stall him for a while, saying they have to stay on deck to be sure noone runs into them. Ian doesn't think it'll be a problem, he turned the running lights on. He leads a reluctant Blair inside. "Are you sure you left your phone in the cabin", Blair says very loudly to warn Max, who's inside searching for his keys.

When Blair opens the door, Max is nowhere to be seen. Ian, of course, can't find his cel phone. Blair pours them some champagne and says it's good to spend some time with him again, she understands why he took a few steps back from her, he saw her at her absolute worst. She was insane with worry about Starr at the time. She goes to the galley to get some caviar and discovers that Max is hiding there.

Kelly arrives at the Palace Hotel for her date with Ian, but he isn't there. Renee has to tell her the bad news that the last time she saw him he was going to meet Blair.

Blair comes back with the caviar and sits thisclose to him on the couch. Blair gets up and puts the CD Max gave her. Ian likes the music and Blair claims to be a fan of theirs as well. It would be such a shame to lose contact with each other when they have so much in common, even their taste in music, Blair says. Ian, feeling a bit crowded, gets up and says he needs to go and check things up on deck. Before he goes, he's going into the galley to get them a knife to spread the caviar. Blair tries to talk him out of it, but he ignores her and heads toward the galley.

Dorian, Melinda, Cassie, Kelly and Mel

Everyone stares at Dorian after she drops her coffee cup at the mention of "the Game" and it shatters. Mel tries to ask Melinda about the game, but is stopped by Dorian, who claims it's nothing. Melinda heads off to the kitchen to get something to clean up the mess. Cassie questions Dorian about the game, but she puts them off, saying it was just one of a thousand games that children play. Before they can question her further, Dorian quickly leaves to go check on Melinda. Something very strange is going on, Kelly observes.

Kelly thinks that she can find out what "the game" is, she will ask her mother. Easier said than done, Mel says, Dorian's doing her best to make sure that *noone* talks to Melinda alone. Dorian can't keep her away from Melinda forever, Kelly replies. Cassie warns her to be careful when she talks to Melinda, remember what happened to Addie. Kelly thinks that Melinda will be fine, she's much stronger than Addie is and she seemed willing to talk about it before Dorian stopped her. Cassie wishes them good luck before leaving for her weekend with Kevin. Mel comments that Kelly seems to be doing very well having her mother around again. It is rather strange, she says, but she does like it. Mel tells her not to forget how lucky she is to have her mother around, some people aren't that lucky. Kelly agrees and asks how Dorothy is, what's going on with her and Joey? Mel wonders if she's still hung up on Joey. Kelly changes the subject and tells Mel about her
date with Ian that evening.

While Kelly is upstairs chaning for her date, Mel offers to take Melinda and Dorian out to dinner. Melinda declines his offer, she's not really comfortable going out in public. Mel then invites just Dorian to go with him. Because this would leave Melinda home alone(and give her the possibility to be alone with someone), Dorian also refuses the offer. Melinda tries to insist that Dorian go, Melinda's been under supervision for so long, she'd like to be by herself for a while. Dorian remains firm, and Mel finally gives up and goes home. Melinda accuses Dorian of watching her so carefully, waiting for her to do or say something wrong. Dorian denies it, but Melinda brings up the subect of the game again, when she tried to discuss it, Dorian wouldn't let her. There's nothing to discuss, Dorian says. Yes there is, Melinda persists. "The Game" came up time and time again during her therapy sessions. Why did Dorian insist on playing it over and over again, Melinda asks. Dorian asks her to please not discuss it with the girls and then changes the subject to dinner. Dorian gets a call, Melador business, and leaves the room to talk in the study. Kelly comes downstairs, all dressed up for her dinner with Ian. Melinda is glad to finally have a minute alone with her.

Melinda asks Kelly if she's sure that Dorian really wants her here. Kelly assures her it was Dorian's idea. Melinda can't understand why Dorian hovers over her every second, terrified she's going to say the wrong thing. Melinda tells Kelly about the "game." Dorian would always be the Evil Queen or the cruel stepmother and Melinda would be Cinderella or Snow White. Dorian would never lay a finger on Melinda, but would order her to scream and pretend that Dorian had hit her or hurt her. When Dorian was punished for hurting Melinda, which she never actually did, she would just accept it and never say a word. Melinda didn't like playing the game and could never understand why Dorian made her play the same thing over and over again. Why would she do something like that, Melinda asks, as Dorian overhears her from the hallway.

Dorian interrupts and sends Kelly off to her date with Ian. After she's gone, Dorian confronts Melinda, she thought they agreed not to discuss it. Dorian's wrong, Melinda never agreed to any such thing. In fact, Melinda's told her from the beginning that she wants to discuss the past, to understand it better, as part of her recovery. If she had let herself dwell on every miserable event in her life, she would have ended up in an insane asylum, too, Dorian says, then apologizes. Dorian insists that she's not afraid of the past. Neither am I, not anymore, Melinda tells Dorian before heading up to bed.

After Melinda has gone upstairs, Dorian remembers a scene just like Melinda described earlier to Kelly. She and Melinda are dressed up in costumes and Dorian orders Melinda to lie on the ground and scream as if Dorian has hit her. Melinda is reluctant, but finally obeys. After the memory, Dorian picks up Melinda's pills. She dumps out the medication in one of the pills, fills it with sugar and puts it back in Melinda's medicine case.

Kevin, Cassie, Todd and Téa

Up at the cabin, Cassie is still worried about her mother's reaction when the game was mentioned. Even if it does mean something, Kevin's not sure it's the key to the dark past that Cassie's been searching for. When he and Joey were children, he tried to make Joey cry all the time, it was a phase and they grew out of it. Now they get along just fine. Cassie doesn't think they can compare the two. Kevin grew up surrounded by a family that loved him. Cassie never had that, David took her away when she was very young, then left her with her grandmother when she became inconvenient because of his career. Cassie's whole past is nothing but secrets and lies. Kevin knows how to give love and how to accept it because he was shown how, she never knew that kind of love.

There are some days when she doesn't know who she is or how she really feels. Kevin knows exactly who she is. Right now, they're going to go outside and collect chestnuts, bring them back inside and roast them and then they're going to make love all night long. How does she feel about that, Kevin asks. "Like maybe another woman would deserve it more", she replies.

Kevin and Cassie are finished roasting the chestnuts. Now can they get to the making love all night part, Cassie asks. Kevin is more than willing and they start to kiss, stretched out on the floor in front of the fire. Suddenly there's a noise, someone is coming in the door. They jump to their feet. It's Todd and Téa. What are you two doing here, Todd asks.