Signs of Low Self-Esteem

The word or term 'self-esteem' refers to one's emotional evaluation about his or her self-worth. I'm writing this hub so you can evaluate whether you have a self-esteem issue or not. I've been down that road and there's no stop to it- unless you decide to pull the breaks and say "You know what, NO. I'm dealing with this here and now".

What you think or feel about yourself can and will affect you in various ways. The dialogue between Thomas Leroy and Nina Sayers, in the Black Swan, basically summarizes the impact of one's self-esteem on his/her life: "The only person standing in your way is you".

So, how can you tell that you have low self-esteem issues? Well, consider the following 'signs' to get a general idea of what you might think of yourself (and/or of how people with low-esteem are):

1. You can't accept criticism.

It's easy for one to sit, complain, criticize and taunt others for their mistakes but if you can't listen to others do the same that means that, deep down, what others think about you still matters to you and that is why you reject what they might have to say to you.

2. You want people to accept what you have to say.

There's a fine line between airing an opinion and arguing. When you argue with someone that means that you can't accept the fact that their opinions or views are different from yours. You want them to accept what you say as the word of God. Such people seek validation from others and so, argue to the point where other parties exasperatedly say "OKAY, FINE" just so they can dismiss the conversation.

Agree to disagree and accept that everyone has his or her own opinion.

3. You're impressionable.

When you're impressionable you allow yourself to change according to the people you hang out with. You agree with everything they have to say and if and when they do/say something wrong you don't stand up for yourself or for your friends or for those that they are badmouthing. In other words, you like to please people and will do or agree with anything they say because their opinions matter.

4. You're judgmental.

When you're judgmental of others that only means that you can't accept them for who they are. People like this often come across as confident and forthcoming but here's what most people don't get: you're judgmental of others because you want to hide your own flaws. So, you bury your flaws, discount them and accuse another of doing something that is wrong, according to you.

5. You're spineless.

When you're spineless you, sort of, let people control you. You hide behind a wall of lies and when the need to defend yourself strikes, you go all meek and quite. You don't own up to your mistakes and lies because you fear you'll lose 'friends'.

6. You BECOME someone else.

There's a difference between being fake and becoming someone else. When you're fake you still have a side to you that you might be ashamed of (for some reason). On the other hand, when you 'become' someone else, you alter your personality to become someone who seems to have it all. You lose who you are to gain social acceptance.

This happened to someone I once knew. They were amazing and had the biggest heart ever. There came this point when this person started hanging out with a bunch of people who they turned into. Said person is no longer who they used to be. They transformed from a nice and innocent person into someone I wished was never part of my life.

7. You trash people instead of being happy for them.

If you're the kind of person who gets envious or jealous of people around you or if you can't be supportive of your friends, you've got major self-esteem issues. On the surface jealousy or enviousness might seem like an innocent sentiment or emotion but it also shows you aren't comfortable in your own skin. Rather than learning from your peers or being happy for them you trash them because you feel like you have something to lose. You compete with them to prove to yourself, peers and the rest of the world that you're BETTER than your friend/peer/companion in some way.

The need to compete with others comes from a deep-rooted desire to prove yourself and gain validation, too.

I hope this article helps you with your issues. I'll shortly be writing on how you can fix these issues :) Thank you for taking the time to read this and remember you're awesome as you are! ;)

The word or term 'self-esteem' refers to one's emotional evaluation about his or her self-worth. I'm writing this hub so you can evaluate whether you have a self-esteem issue or not. I've been down that road and there's no stop to it- unless you decide to pull the breaks and say "You know what, NO. I'm dealing with this here and now".

What you think or feel about yourself can and will affect you in various ways. The dialogue between Thomas Leroy and Nina Sayers, in the Black Swan, basically summarizes the impact of one's self-esteem on his/her life: "The only person standing in your way is you".

So, how can you tell that you have low self-esteem issues? Well, consider the following 'signs' to get a general idea of what you might think of yourself (and/or of how people with low-esteem are):

1. You can't accept criticism.

It's easy for one to sit, complain, criticize and taunt others for their mistakes but if you can't listen to others do the same that means that, deep down, what others think about you still matters to you and that is why you reject what they might have to say to you.

2. You want people to accept what you have to say.

There's a fine line between airing an opinion and arguing. When you argue with someone that means that you can't accept the fact that their opinions or views are different from yours. You want them to accept what you say as the word of God. Such people seek validation from others and so, argue to the point where other parties exasperatedly say "OKAY, FINE" just so they can dismiss the conversation.

Agree to disagree and accept that everyone has his or her own opinion.

3. You're impressionable.

When you're impressionable you allow yourself to change according to the people you hang out with. You agree with everything they have to say and if and when they do/say something wrong you don't stand up for yourself or for your friends or for those that they are badmouthing. In other words, you like to please people and will do or agree with anything they say because their opinions matter.

4. You're judgmental.

When you're judgmental of others that only means that you can't accept them for who they are. People like this often come across as confident and forthcoming but here's what most people don't get: you're judgmental of others because you want to hide your own flaws. So, you bury your flaws, discount them and accuse another of doing something that is wrong, according to you.

5. You're spineless.

When you're spineless you, sort of, let people control you. You hide behind a wall of lies and when the need to defend yourself strikes, you go all meek and quite. You don't own up to your mistakes and lies because you fear you'll lose 'friends'.

6. You BECOME someone else.

There's a difference between being fake and becoming someone else. When you're fake you still have a side to you that you might be ashamed of (for some reason). On the other hand, when you 'become' someone else, you alter your personality to become someone who seems to have it all. You lose who you are to gain social acceptance.

This happened to someone I once knew. They were amazing and had the biggest heart ever. There came this point when this person started hanging out with a bunch of people who they turned into. Said person is no longer who they used to be. They transformed from a nice and innocent person into someone I wished was never part of my life.

7. You trash people instead of being happy for them.

If you're the kind of person who gets envious or jealous of people around you or if you can't be supportive of your friends, you've got major self-esteem issues. On the surface jealousy or enviousness might seem like an innocent sentiment or emotion but it also shows you aren't comfortable in your own skin. Rather than learning from your peers or being happy for them you trash them because you feel like you have something to lose. You compete with them to prove to yourself, peers and the rest of the world that you're BETTER than your friend/peer/companion in some way.

The need to compete with others comes from a deep-rooted desire to prove yourself and gain validation, too.

I hope this article helps you with your issues. I'll shortly be writing on how you can fix these issues :) Thank you for taking the time to read this and remember you're awesome as you are! ;)

Comments

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sending

AUTHOR

Humzah Muzaffar Raja

2 years agofrom Lahore, Pakistan

Thank you so much Dennis :) Yes, ironically victims AND bullies both end up with the same problem

Denise W Anderson

3 years agofrom Bismarck, North Dakota

Self-esteem issues can be a real hang-up. You've summed it up pretty well here. Those who don't have self-esteem tend to be bullies to themselves and others. It becomes a which comes first type of scenario.

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