You just stay in the damn chariot, Chuck. I’ll make sure you win the goddamn race.

— Ben Hur stunt coordinator to Charlton Heston, who drove his own chariot in the film’s signature action sequence. (Heston confided his concern that he wouldn’t measure up once they added seven more chariot teams with experienced drivers in the ring.)

VENTURA, Calif. (AP) Police said western singer Johnny Cash told them he stepped on the gas when he saw a patrolman coming up behind him because:

I just wanted to find out if I could still outrun a police car.

After a six-mile chase up a freeway, officers said, he discovered he couldn’t.

Cash, 31, was cited Thursday for speeding and driving without having his operator’s license with him.

An officer said he saw Cash speeding and gave chase but the singer tried to pull away. Police said their car and a highway patrol cruiser that joined the chase, had to go 90 miles an hour to catch him.

— Jean’s comment upon seeing headline President Obama vs Asian Carp in Minneapolis Star-Tribune. (The story was about Upper Midwest politicos petitioning the president to ask Illinois to close gates allowing the vile invasive species access to the Upper Mississippi.)