Psychologist provides advice on talking with children about bullying, suicide

In August, the death of a 9-year-old in Colorado made headlines. Denver police officers said the boy had died by suicide days after starting the fourth grade. His mother said she thought bullying was a factor in his death, especially after coming out as gay.Experts claim that bullying and suicide are closely related. A U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report claimed that both bullies and their victims might sustain “serious and lasting effects” on their mental health.Azucena Amparan, a Kansas City area psychologist, said even though every child is different, parents should start talking about mental health and suicide with their children as early as possible.“Awareness is the first step to do that,” she said. “An appropriate time is before school starts. Sit down with your kids, talk about respect, mention bullying.”Amparan also said parents should check in with their children at least monthly and observe their behavior. She said it is important to have open lines of communication.“Don’t dismiss their feelings, … let them speak freely with no judgment,” Amparan said. “The moment you dismiss their feelings, they’re going to close off and stop telling you things.”A study in 2016 found that kids under 12 who died by suicide were more likely to be diagnosed with attention deficit disorder than older kids. That could mean younger kids with mental health issues are more susceptible to responding impulsively to problems in their lives. Because of this impulsiveness, Amparan recommends helping their children find activities they enjoy and do well.“Get them out of their environment,” she said. “The more they are off their phones, the better.”Amparan also said it is important to remember that some parents will have the child who is a bully, instead of the one being bullied.“Take off the blinds, and remember to analyze your own behavior,” she said. “If your child is being a bully, they are probably seeing something … (from you). Children are reflections of their parents.”But whether the child is the bully or the one being bullied, Amparan recommends that parents observe their children’s behavior.If parents have tried communicating with their child and the child is not saying anything, even though the kid probably wants to, Amparan recommends seeking help.“If parents feel in their core their child needs to speak, … (take) them to someone, … (take) them to a therapist who will help them,” she said.As a last piece of advice, Amparan reminds parents that grades are not the top priority, that the development of a sense of self is more important during the childhood and teen years.“If you need help, reach out to professionals,” she said.