Some (Personal) Thoughts About 2018

I took a small break in the last two weeks from writing and posting in order that I may spend more time with those closest to me[1], but before 2018 ends, I would like to use this platform as an opportunity to muse over the journeys that I have undertaken and the paths that I have followed in 2018.

So much happened in 2018 that I have trouble believing that is was all in one year. There were many highs — I graduated from Brandeis, cum laude, with a double major and three minors; I got engaged; I went on a cruise; I started grad school. There were also many lows — I lost two members of my family that were very dear to me, aunts who I had known my whole life; friendships I had thought were solid fell apart; and my continuing bad luck with injuries and physical illnesses has led to many limitations, some of them chronic. My dungeons and towers aren’t something to brag about, or to complain about, but parts of my multifaceted life, and while there are some things that I would, admittedly. love to change, there are others that I wouldn’t exchange for the world.

My fiancée and I have been together for over three years now, and so we celebrated our anniversary by having breakfast for dinner and eating an absolute mountain of waffles while watching Doctor Who.

A couple weeks ago we took a Sunday afternoon trip on the sailboat that one of my friends owns. A group of us went sailing – a short trip, but also the first sailing trip I’ve ever had, and I was absolutely delighted the entire time. I was also cold, but that’s what I get for going on a boat in December without a hat (in my defense, it was an impromptu trip and we were leaving from a place where my only hat options were all sheep wool, which I am allergic to). My ears will forgive me eventually.

I still had the holidays ahead at that point, and I was looking forward to spending time with my family, but it was nice to have that day as a day to spend with some close friends and on the water. I’ve been spending much more time on inner reflection lately, and having a new and open space in which to do so was refreshing.

This is admittedly a very Talia-centric post, but it wouldn’t be honest to say that the center of my world hasn’t been rocked by the events of this year outside of my personal bubble, because honestly that bubble was popped years ago. I have spent so much of this year being shocked and horrified by the world around me, a world that I feel sometimes is pressing in from all sides, where despite my efforts to try and believe and encourage the best in everyone I feel forced to remain suspicious and on edge, waiting for the next scandal to break, waiting to see who the next person or entity is of whom my perception is going to need to radically shift because yet another thing in this world is not what I thought it was. I’m exhausted.

Lately almost every day feels like a fight, and honestly there are some days where I can barely drag myself out of my bed from the weariness of it all. I have to keep trying, though – I have to keep moving, and doing what I can and what I must because I love so many people and I believe that there is so much good in this world if we can work together toward a better future.