Where’d I find this absurdity? Doesn’t matter. Take that up with twitter. Here’s what does matter: why is it perfectly fine that Willow and Tara, 13 and her girlfriend for an episode, whatever, kiss but if two individuals with two peni between them do, the world will end?

Ohhh, wait. I forgot what is truly so threatening about “teh gay,” especially the boy variety: it undermines masculinity, which is so dreadfully important in this society.

Think about it. Who’s admired by men? Boys, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it the “stud,” the jock that can lift the most, or, among the nerds, someone with intellectual power like Stephan Hawking? Aren’t male oriented videogames games like Halo, Call of Duty, Metal Gear? Aren’t they military based? Aren’t soldiers supposed to be the perfect men?

Ah, shit, but I’m edging too close to the military, and that gets into my ranting about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. To nip that in the bud, I don’t think it matters whose butt you stare at, you wanna serve your country, you should be allowed to do it, the end. Back to the point at hand.

The view of relationships is that there are two roles: masculine and feminine. This is based upon the fact that society tends to cast relationships in male/female roles, understandably, because heterosexuality is the norm. Therefore, if you have a gay relationship, someone’s gotta be the girl. We can’t have that.

But why does it matter? Well, go back to my post on gender. If one man is allowed to kiss boys, to be what is perceived as “feminine,” then that means that… *gasp* … you don’t have to be “masculine” to be a man! OH GODS. It doesn’t matter if this perception is correct or not, some gay couples are very one is masculine, one feminine, but some aren’t. So are some heterosexual couples. But the point is, it pisses off men to have a man, ANY man, do something girly because it undermines what they view is important, which is being considered masculine. Again, go back to my gender post. It is really all explained in there.

However, two girls kiss, it’s like a double dose of feminine. Straight men tend to view it as “hot” because they don’t see a masculine and feminine there, from what folk have told me. They just see two girls kissing. It only matters when guys kiss because then, the couple thing kicks in and their brains start screaming that “THAT AIN’T RIGHT! COVER THE CHILDREN’S EYES! THEY MIGHT CATCH TEH GAY, WHICH WOULD MAKE IT OKAY FOR BOYS TO SEW AND SING SHOW TUNES!”

So, why is it a problem that boys kiss on tv? Those that hold up masculinity as important, as an ideal, are threatened by what is considered “abnormal” interrupting their main stream TV program, because that means that it is becoming more acceptable. Thus, they can’t beat up on the girly kid at school anymore and have everyone laugh with them. It means that the rest of the world doesn’t explicitly agree with their point of view that men have to be men or they are worthless.

Let’s face it, a male view still dominates in a lot of ways. I hate to admit it, but it does. Thus, this is a big fucking deal, because, frankly, they can’t fap to two men kissing. It makes them feel all bad inside, because if it’s acceptable, their grunting, neolithic mind state is wrong, or at the very least, not completely correct. This can upset some people’s entire LIVES, if they have been practicing to be “a real man!” their whole lives. It screws with their ENTIRE perception of reality. So what is their solution?

That’s easy. Beat it with a stick until it dies. That’s what “real men” would do, right?