Adolf Hitler ‘plays down’ racism claims ahead of 1936 Berlin Olympics

German leader, Adolf Hitler, has struck back at Jesse Owens’ recent appeals for people to stay away from the upcoming games, despite concerns that many foreigners may face racism during the event. The German Fuehrer was quoted as saying ‘The country is very quiet. Definitely nothing going on here. No problem at all. Besides, who doesn’t like bananas?’

This rebuttal came after criticism from Jesse Owens at the selection of Germany as a host nation. However Joseph Goebbels assured the public that they would not be mistreated. ‘No no, I’ve never heard about this,’ he claimed. ‘What even is racism? It is a concept that seems so unfamiliar and peculiar to me. It’s probably the British fans doing it.’

The British Government has once again reiterated its official advice to travellers, declaring ‘peace in our time… so no problem then!’ But unofficially, they also advised that black people probably shouldn’t stay longer than necessary. And maybe Jews just shouldn’t go at all. And maybe the Paralympics should be cancelled.

‘Oh, and Czechoslovakia, you might want to make the most of it. Because you won’t be able to enter in a couple of years’ time.’