Bringing you the (almost) everyday comings and goings of the residents of Beckworth, a typical English market town. Informing you about their lives through the mediums of words, images, an interactive map and stereophonic sound recordings

Category Archives: Rod Welling

Starting on Monday evening at around 7.30 (via Zoom if she can get her broadband working), ex- Olympic athlete and holistic horse-whisperer Clare Balding will be trying to resurrect her famed Hit & Knit course by taking it online. As you’ll probably have read in the press her (now ex-) friends Michael McIntyre and Germaine Greer unfortunatelymade a pigs ear of running the courses a few years back and so Clare (currently furlonged due to Covid) is in future going to run the courses herself from her kitchen one evening per week, hopefully for three months. The unique course she invented combines the mental & physical riguers of knitting with the keep-fit pummelling of boxing. She took inspiration from the Rocky films and used it to successfully train EasyJet crews and the staff of a Greggs somewhere. Clare’s catchy slogan is “before you can say Hit One, Purl One you’ll have made yourself a matching scarf, hat and gloves and be able to punch well above your weight. You’ll probably end up as a new you!” And as it’s now online all ages are welcome with the whole online course only costing £3,499. Chegwins Gym are honoured that Clare is renting our zoom “channel” to host the courses. See you next week. Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym.

I’ve just seen French King XIV coming out of the local hairdressers after getting his hair permed (it’s half price Wednesdays for OAPs). I think he was surprised that I recognised him, but he caught my eye in his robes and crown. He looked a proper 17th century dandy and did that Royal wave that only nobility do as he got on the bus home. Cheers, Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym

Greetings fitness fans. In recognition of today being International Knitting In Public Day we at Chegwins Gym are hosting a day of classes from Clare Balding’s highly successful Hit & Knit course. All classes will be held outdoors in the grounds of the cemetery next door (or inside the chapel of rest if it rains) and taken by acclaimed “black-belt” teacher Michael McIntyre and his new assistant Germaine Greer. Classes will start at 12 if Mr McIntyre can get his flatmate Mrs Greer get up in time. But come early as places are very limited and space between the graves quite tight. For the uninitiated the Hit & Knit franchise was started a few years ago by TV’s favourite horse-botherer Ms Clare Balding and seeks to give students of all ages and sexual persuasions a grounding in the mental, & highly physical, riguers of knitting combined with the keep-fit pummeling of boxing. Today’s one-hour “sample” classes cost £53 to attend (£43 for students and low-life on benefits) with enrolement for the whole Autumn course will commencing next month. For the less abled or lethargic we will also be laying on crochet, sewing and cake eating demonstrations. See you in the cemetery… Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym.

Greetings fitness fans. It’s time to limber up those knitting-needles and polish up your boxing gloves as August see’s the return of “our” highly successful Hit & Knit course. Started a few years ago by Beckworth’s very own “lady” TV tennis-commentator and horse-botherer, Clare Balding, the course seeks to give students a grounding in the mental & physical riguers of knitting combined with the keep-fit pummelling of boxing. Although inspired to start the classes by her heroes Eddie The Edwards Eagle and Amir Khan it was her own upbringing she drew on most as she comes from a bare-knuckle fighting dynasty. And her Great-Gran was a World famous speed knitter. In the past Clare has used Hit and Knit to successfully train the X-Factor judging panel, Prince George‘s nanny and the disgraced ex-presenters of Top Gear. In a new twist on the format, this year the course will run 24/7 for 4 weeks with all “inmates” living full-time in the gym changing rooms. Also, due to her busy schedule, Ms Balding has handed the course over to her good “friend” (and ex- Hit & Knit graduate) Michael McIntyre, ably assisted by Ms Clare’s very own Aunt Dolly. Places are limited so book early, and as the slogan says “before you can say Hit One, Purl One you’ll have made yourself a new sweater, with matching shorts, and be able to punch well above your weight. You’ll be a new you!” All sexes welcome, but it’s over 18s only. The whole course only costs £22,673 (excluding costs of materials, food and medical insurance). See you at the gym in August, Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym.

Starting Thursday at 7.30, Beckworth’s very own “lady” TV sports-commentator, and horse-masseuse, Clare Balding is once again running her famed Hit & Knit course in the gym. In a change to last year it will now be every Thursday and run for four months to give the trainees more time to conquer the mental & physical riguers of knitting combined with the keep-fit pummelling of boxing. Inspired by Mohamed Ali and her own upbringing (her dad was a scrap metal dealer and amateur bare-knuckle fighter), Clare has used Hit and Knit to successfully train The Army Wive’s Choir, UKIP councillors and the cast of Downton Abbey. Just think, before you can say “Hit One, Purl One” you’ll have made yourself a matching scarf, hat and gloves and be able to punch well above your weight. You’ll be a new you! All sexes welcome, but it’s over 18s only. The whole course only costs £3,800 (excluding costs of materials and medical insurance). See you Thursday. Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym.

(Above) Clare’s Aunt Dolly (and defending champion knitter) prepare’s to take on all newcomers at the next Hit and Knit course

Starting tonight at 7.30, Olympic athlete and horse-whisperer Clare Balding is once again running her famed Hit & Knit course in the gym. Running one evening per week for three months it combines the mental & physical riguers of knitting with the keep-fit pummelling of boxing. Inspired by the Rocky films, Clare’s used it to successfully train the SAS, Network Rail staff and the cast of Cats. Just think, before you can say “Hit One, Purl One” you’ll have made yourself a matching scarf, hat and gloves and be able to punch well above your weight. You’ll be a new you! All sexes welcome, but it’s over 18s only. The whole course only costs £2,600 (excluding costs of materials and medical insurance). See you tonight. Rod S. Welling, manager, Chegwins Gym.

(Above) Clare’s Aunt Dolly models her new look at the end of the last Hit and Knit course