I’ll be watching some of the game on TV and will try my best to be humorous and uplifting. Because after all, it’s only a game. Hell, I might even make some jokes. What else can you do when you’re playing for peanuts?

All reports are that Locker will not be starting, making a decisive victory all the more imperative for the Golden Bears going into the Big Game. Tedford has not lost to UW. Let’s keep it that way.

1:07: Wow. 14-0. Apparently Cal decided its best move was to put in second and third stringers and pull the D-line. Great idea, because they get plowed off the field on a slightly longer possession. So they’re sturdier at giving up 7 points! Ha-ha, made a funny!

1:23: Naturally, Cal strikes back, 14-6. Very nice drive, certainly the best Longshore has thrown since Oregon. But it’s also the 1st quarter, and this is Washington. Naturally, we follow it up by botching the extra point snap and giving up 35 yards on the kickoff return. Sweet.

1:26: Very nice stop by the Cal defense, with great coverage and pressure on that 3rd down possession. The thing with Washington is that they’re a three quarter team; if you only play them for 45 minutes this year, they’ll probably pull it out or hang tight. But there’s that pesky 4th quarter that overwhelms them. By the end, their legs are pretty shot.

(Of course, not seeing Jake Locker lineup here always helps. Still disgusted by that end of 1st quarter score.)

1:45: Very strong second drive by the Bears. Longshore finally looks back to normal. Well, that, and this Washington defense really really sucks. 14-13. As for the defense, they’ve found a nice strategy for stopping the offense–stopping the run. Really novel concept. Another three and out.

1:47: Everyone’s in a tizzy that Jackson sat on the bench dejected for most of the game. He’s been doing that all year guys. He’s thinking how far his draft stock drops with every mediocre performance (only three good ones all year). Come back next year man! It’ll be tops!

1:49: I am Nate Longshore, and I do not fear the zone! I will throw it right into your defender and I dare him to catch it! Another pick straight to the linebacker. You can guess what’s coming next…

1:51: Run, run, run, TD. 21-13 Washington. *rolls eyes*

2:00: Ugh, is DeSean hurt? I can’t really tell. He’s been pulling this wincing/moaning act all year. I do this all the time in Ultimate Frisbee, so it’s hard for me to believe he’s hurt (that knee buckle looks tough, but it doesn’t look awful).

2:05: Defensive pressure is an interesting concept. Usually it makes it tough for the quarterback to make good decisions in the pocket. Glad to see Bob Gregory has discovered it in time for ensuring bowl eligibility. Punt.

2:09: Awesome call on 3rd and 6 on the run draw to Forsett for 60 some yards. We ran it last week, it bites again this week. Followed up by the excellent TD throw to Montgomery. This is a combination of great blocking and running and terrible defense. You take what you can get at this point. 21-20.

2:16: Great stop by the Bears! Now you can take the ball back, take a shot or two, kneel on the ball if it doesn’t work…oh God Hampton, what are you doing? LET IT GO!

2:22: TD off a strange Bonnell throw, but nice grab up in the air by Reece to haul down the score 28-20. 14 points off turnovers for a weak Bears defense. You can’t make mistakes on offense and special teams like that. You just can’t. This defense isn’t strong enough to hold up on a short field. We’ve seen this all year, especially on the road.

2:32: Thought they would throw down the field, but I guess Longshore really can’t throw deep anymore, kneeling down to end the half. Another frustrating half of Cal football, although I’ve seen so much of them this past month that I sort of take it in stride (Aw shucks, we’re trailing to one of the bottom-dwellers in the Pac-10 at the half? I guess it’s sadder that I’m not too shocked.)

2:55: I haven’t watched much Husky football this year, but I’ve seen enough. So I’m a little surprised that no one touted Louis Rankin as the second coming of Archie Griffin. 220 yards on 19 carries. That’s run defense of a special kind my friends. The losing kind. Thankfully, the Huskies still have no idea how to pass protect, giving up the sack to Follett. Field goal makes it 31-20.

3:00: I can see why Tedford is concerned with letting Nate air that ball out. Longshore’s sure TD ball floats and looks way underthrown for Jordan, adjusting well to make a great catch. Against better secondaries that’s either an incompletion or a pick. Thankfully, these are the Huskies.

3:05: Our run blocking at the goal line always makes me weary. Where the hell did the holes go? Forsett runs into the line and then gets mauled on 2nd and goal. Field goal makes it 31-23. So many points in so little time. Head floating. Eyes dilating.

3:09: I keep on thinking if Jake Locker was in this game, we’d be down by 20. I also think that if Jake Locker was in this game, he’d have broken three more bones in his body. Bonnell overthrows, then underthrows. Punt.

3:13: Quick stop by the Husky defense, who force Longshore to throw it up and away, with some nice containment of Forsett. I’m not liking this–the Bears need to keep this at one score to keep the ground game going. Longshore dependency never ends well.

3:25: I knew we’d gone too far in this game without a ref hosejob. Intentional grounding completely ignores the fact that Bonnell threw a lateral backwards, which should have been a fumble recovery for the Bears. Instead the Huskies throw a bomb to Ellis over the freshman Conte, which sets up 3 more points, 34-23. Oh Pac-10 refs, why must you always shine on those silly Huskies. First Yvenson Bernard, now this.

3:30: Fumble on Hawkins which was clearly caused by the ground–so it’s not a fumble. Of course the spineless morons officiating this game will never have the backbone to overturn it. Which they don’t. Could we really be heading to the Armed Forces Bowl?

3:37: Great stand on 4th and short. The Cal offense rewards the defense by getting a holding and a personal foul to get to 2nd and 32. Bears fans are rewarded to the sight ofForsett limping off. Maybe we should start setting the tree-hippies on fire. Certainly that will appease the football gods and realign karma in our favor.

3:47: Punt return by the Huskies goes 40 yards to the Husky 11; although the punt returner steps out of bounds. Perhaps we should just let Washington run TDs into the end zone and then come back and convert TDs for 2 point conversions; we can cut into the lead more quickly that way, one point at a time. I think it’d be a groundbreaking strategy. Field goal makes it 37-23.

3:56: Is Longshore going to take flak for losing this game? Probably–he did throw one pick that could be the difference in the end. But overall this has been his best game since Oregon. Hawkins has dropped a few balls too, including the crucial 3rd and 22 ball that needed to be reined in.

4:00: Want to look like the next Marcus Allen? By all means, sign up to play Cal! You can run through the tackles, you can break through the tackles, you can discover deep holes, and then just keep on moving those feet! Scamper all the way! The offensive line just needs to move forward a little and the D-line will oblige by falling to the ground!

Someone named Brandon Johnson has just run over 100 yards. The Huskies have 328 on the game. All this without Jake Locker. I should have just spent the past three and a half hours staring at dog shit. It would have been way more enlightening and far more productive.

EDIT: I didn’t even mention the fact that Washington got the ball to start BOTH halves because of a brainfart by our captain. Result? 10 points. It’s been that sort of season.