Monday, December 23, 2013

Veil of Trust

I thought I had nothing more to say on this topic, but this is the third time I re-started this post after not being satisfied with it. Finally I stopped and said a little prayer for inspiration, and now I want to approach the veil from this angle which is slightly different than I have approached it before. You can probably tell from my side bar that I have a devotion to Divine Mercy. Right this moment it's the hour of mercy and the Divine Mercy chaplet is being sung on my radio. The veil for me has become a symbol of my trust in Divine Mercy. I started this veiling journey with the attitude that the veil would be my own personal devotion to Jesus and it would not matter one whit whether anyone noticed that I was covering my head or not. I was going to use covers that were completely inconspicuous. Nobody would know. I would strive for invisibility just like I usually do everywhere I go. It would be nearly status quo.

Yesterday, wonder of wonders, I found myself wishing that someone would ask me about my very obvious, very lacy black veil so that I could proclaim Jesus's Mercy! I wanted to shake someone and say, "can't you see?! I was married. Right there. I was married right there at the same altar you see before you when I was a non-Christian. I was hoping that Jesus would not be mentioned by our Protestant minister at my wedding. In front of the tabernacle in the Catholic Church with the red candle lit and Jesus standing right behind me. Do you know what you have? Look what He's done for me!" I'm not sure I would ever be brave enough or articulate enough to say that, but my heart wants to proclaim his Mercy from the roof tops. I actually had a dream about my grave need to acquire a stack of Divine Mercy holy cards to keep on my person and hand out to strangers. It was odd, I'll grant you...but still. I have come to view the veil as a symbol for others as well as myself of Jesus's real presence in the Eucharist.

The visibility of the veil has become important enough to me that I actually told my husband about Veil Project! He said, "huh. So that's why my Grandma always wore a veil to church stuff." It made me laugh that he would notice such a thing. (Side note: Ollie's Grandma got to see JPII when he came to San Antonio in the 1980s. I would have liked to have met her!)

I have also started praying, "Jesus, I trust in You" (the prayer on the bottom of the Divine Mercy image) before receiving communion. This is something I haven't done before, but something which helps me focus on Jesus right at the crucial time before I receive Him into my body.

All that I wrote probably sounds like sickly sweet, overly pious nonsense. Maybe it is. Either way, I hear the baby awake in the other room which means my time to write is done.

This photo is actually from Gaudete Sunday, but I looked pretty much the same yesterday except that I was more sweaty from doing some professional baby wrangling which included a trip from my pew near the front all the way out the back door to my car and back into the church straight into the communion line. Lillian really tired me out, but I am grateful to have been at Mass anyway!