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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

A Friendly Night of Porn – 2016 HUMP Film Festival

So I wrote about my first HUMPtwo years ago. I didn’t write about it last year, even though it was still loads of fun, because I just didn’t have time.But I figured this was a good year to do another write-up.This year, I brought a huge group of friends, most of whom had never been to an event like this. And frankly were both a little titillated and trepidatious about going to one now. Not really sure of what they were going to see. Not really sure they'd want to.But the beautiful thing about HUMP is how inclusive and welcoming it is.From the beginning opening statements and rules, which were an adorable musical number—aww, the image and sound of Dan singing about getting humped will be with me forever now—you can tell that this porn festival is not going to be like anything you’ve ever seen before. Like Dan sang, we saw people, body types, pairings, groupings, and kinks that aren’t commonly found in mainstream porn.Take the very first film, “Hysterical Bullshit,” where a presumably fully clothed woman sits at a table with Mike Huckabee’s Gods, Guns, Grits and Gravy while a vibrator drives her to orgasm. This black and white video was such an odd and quirky start to a porn festival. Other than some deep breathing, squirming, and the occasional moan, it just looks like a woman reading a ridiculous book. In fact, I bet if you showed it to Mike Huckabee without context, it’d take him most of the video to even figure out what’s happening. Like I said, this isn’t your mainstream idea of porn and this was an interesting, subversive way of starting things off. By giving us almost the anti-porn porn.“It Kind of Feels Like...” the mid-point film, felt a lot like a return to this kind of film. The shortest film by far, it started out with close-ups of a woman’s face while she inhales sharply and makes soft, sweet, orgasmic noises. Right before she sneezes. Again, an interesting reminder that things are not what you expect here at HUMP.“Hotels & Haircuts,” like many other films included, goes into the category of straight-up sex montage films. Each had details that made them special. “Hotels & Haircuts” showed a poly relationship. “Art Primo” featured an interracial couple and fuller figure woman. “Hey Man” followed a gay man seeking refuge and serenity from the chaos of modern dating. “Pachisi” again featured an interracial couple with a more female-dominant slant. “Lipstick” featured an Asian spy posing as a sex worker. “Two Boys and Some Rope,” starring two sexy men, and “Wild Lovers,” starring two beautiful women, were my favorites of this group while we watched them have sexy bondage sex. While there was little that was that remarkable of each of these films individually, what I do like about them as a whole, is how wide a range “straight-up sex” is today. The different kinds of bodies, that used to be so invisible, we see now. The different kinds of relationships, that used to be closeted and taboo, we take for granted today. That’s kind of amazing and subversive in and of itself.Strictly speaking, “Blown” might fall under the same category as these films, except for on difference. Instead of music playing in the background of the sex montage, this film gave us an absolutely fascinating peek into two trans men’s minds as they talked about the struggle and pleasure of getting blown now that they’ve transitioned while we watch them blow each other. It was sexy, just like the others, but it was also...poignant and intimate in a way that the others didn’t quite feel like for me. Because we got to hear their stories, I just felt so much more connected to these men. So well done. And, seeing as it was produced by Buck Angel, I’m not surprised at all.“Cake Boss” involved a couple making a quite unconventional cake. The best thing about this film was the fact that in both last week’s and this week's Savage Love podcasts he and Mistress Matisse and Cheryl Strayed talk about the fact that too many vanilla people, when they want to get a little kinky, add food and sweets to sex. To which Dan said, “Don't dessert fuck.” Well, this was the ultimate dessert fuck. In fact, it reminded me of one of my first drag king shows, where, for one of the performer’s birthday, they had him and two very sexy ladies dance to Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me” while they played with cake mix ingredients. Hilarious. Sexy. But a big ole mess. This one had the added factor of sex and nudity, which had the germaphobe in me internally screaming “YEAST INFECTION!” But, if I had to comfort myself with one thought, it’s that at least they were equal opportunity infectors and hopefully Risk-Aware and Consensual about their kinks.“Lube Dispenser” and “Unicorn in the Castle” were also films that tripped kinky bells in my head. Again, each of them had interesting parts of them. “Lube Dispenser,” with its masks and woods location, was filmed almost like a horror film. And while it made it visually interesting, it’s also, maybe, what made some of the breath play aspects in the film feel problematic to me. Watching a man in a plastic bag breathe heavily as the bag puffs in and out of his mouth was concerning, even if they cut a mouth hole in the bag by sticking a knife in his open mouth. As was watching the couple grab each other by the throat while they had sex. “Unicorn in the Castle” was great because it starred a kinky elderly trio, proving that porn, sex, and kink all don’t have age limits. That said, we never got to see the negotiations and much of it...looked dub-con, if not out and out non-con. Especially, the last scene, where the Dom uses flash paper right next to the two subs’ mons, catching their pubic hair on fire. I don’t do fire play, but I’ve seen competent tops do so and, every time I have, I’ve seen them shave the area and make sure to keep it far from any body hair to avoid causing painful burns. It just kinda took me out of the scene and made me not...feel good about watching it.And it’s not that these aren’t my kinks, I don’t think. This year, a lot of films, like “I Fist a Grrrl,” had a lot of things, like analingus and water sports, that I personally don’t find sexy but I didn’t have a problem with watching them, the way I did with “Lube Dispenser” and “Unicorn in the Castle.” I also wasn’t really a fan of “Porn Star of the Year” which was about Fuck Rogers, a fictional bad porn star, nominating himself for porn star of the year. Mostly it was all puns and mugging to the camera. “Level Up” also kind of fell into this problem for me too. While I didn’t dislike it, it just felt like it was trying too hard to be feminist that it felt mocking rather than empowering.“Cuckold” almost felt the same too. Almost. “Cuckold” was actually really good; a story about a married couple who invite a man back to their place to play out a cuckolding scene. They hint at all the work that should go into a scene like that: talking about it between primary partners, meeting the third in a sex-free context to discuss expectations, and consent at every point. The thing that left me a little iffy on it was the fact, at first, they weren’t really addressing the race issue that was implicit in a story where a white married couple invites a black man into their home to cuckold the wife. In a medium where you can’t really go into the individual characters' internal thoughts easily, it just left too much room for exploitation, reminding me too much of too many negative stereotypes. Not helped by the fact that, when the husband panics about the whole cuckolding scene, he says, “What was I thinking bringing some strange, black man into our house to fuck my wife?” It did leave me feeling really uncomfortable. The difference, I think, is that this film ends well with the wife talking the husband down from his anxiety and joining their third in a more inclusive scene that made their special guest feel like more of a partner than a prop.“Dick” felt the same, where it started off as a man singing forlornly at a woman who is ignoring him. Then we find out that his sorrow is less about the fact that she doesn’t see him and more about the fact that he’s a man who closetly LOVES dick (but he’s absolutely not gay, of course). While funny and quirky—completely with him riding a psychedelic, spinning dick pinwheel, that a woman sitting in front of us laughed at every time it came on screen—it was just really strange. But what made the film was the end, where we find out that the woman ignoring him is reading a book about the wonders of lesbian love. Great end.But there are four films that really stood out for me. “Orgies Happening Tonight” really surprised me. When it started, it just felt too much like a normal porn with really amateur acting. Then we got to the orgy, which felt a lot like many of the sex parties I’ve been to. Complete with the Domme and her submissive being really welcoming, including offering to give our star the wifi password, before slipping seamlessly right back into scene. It just felt so fun and enjoyable, I’m willing to forgive the obvious plot and over-the-top acting.“The Collector”... What can I say about this? A story about a man who collects come. From Tim Allen’s Santa Claus stunt double to the whole state of Delaware, this film was a documentary-style story filled with jars of spunk. But what made it really great was that it also showed his girlfriend who, after being called his favorite “come dispenser,” gets livid over her boyfriend’s obsession and starts dumping his come left and right, even eventually throwing a bucket of it out the door, accidentally hitting the poor mailman in the face. Not to mention, I love that it was gender-inclusive come, including an impressively full jar from Hillary Clinton. You go, girl.But my favorite two have to be “Let’s Try to Fuck” and “Film Bonoir.” By far.As a huge fan of 1950’s television shows, “Let’s Try to Fuck” felt absolutely charming. Done in the style of 1950’s PSA educational films, Young Billy runs around town trying to learn how to get laid. Meeting fit hula-hooping girls and smart girls and pretty girls. And learning helpful lessons like “the mouth: the fuck hole of the face.” It was just...charming.Then there was “Film Bonoir.” There is nothing—nothing—better than seeing dicks dressed up in tiny hats, wigs, and googly eyes. Plus I love the premise of two guys role playing private dicks with their private dicks. It was innovative and creative. Well-planned and well-executed. Complete with a come-shot murder of a flaccid member mobster. But my absolute favorite part was the fact that they did a making-of special at the end of the film. It made my day to see penises being shot in green screen and dressed up in tiny dick-sized costumes.All in all, it was a great night, filled with laughs and “oh mys.” I love that my HUMP experience started with two of us not knowing what to expect and evolved into a group of seven friends having an incredible time. More than anything, I think that’s what makes HUMP so special. That, no matter how unsure you are at the start, by the end, you're guaranteed to have an uncommonly fun experience here that you can’t get any other way.I can't wait to go again next year!

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Smut Showcases the Soul!

Welcome to Sonni de Soto’s Official Author’s Page! Read,
friend, and share away!

De Soto is a Builder of Worlds. Well, really, she’s a small office cog, churning away in
a cubicle, who stealthily writes erotica in email drafts (so it still looks
like she working).

She’s a kinkster, who loves and lives the lifestyle when she
can, and has been since she was tying up her toys as a child. She’s read and
loved erotic, kinky, romantic, fun stories for about as long as well, which
probably explains her dirty, dirty mind. Here’s to putting a little more play
into kink literature and to sharing real, honest love, whatever form it takes.

COME GET CORRUPTED

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YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO DO WHAT I SAY

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DON'T STOP, EVEN IF I ASK

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BREAKING THE RULES!

Please check out my story in this hand-held library of erotica & explore to your libido's content!

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SEXT ME SWEETLY

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PRIDE AND PUNISHMENT!

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REBEL WITH US!

Erotica is an expression of rebellion. Please check out my stories in Coming Together's defiant, charity anthology that celebrates diversity and equality in the face of our uncertain future!

FORGIVE ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED!

Please check out my story in Sexy Little Pages' anthology that explores the taboo juxtaposition of holy and sensual!

MAKE-UP SEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!

Please check out my story from Deep Desire Press to find out what happens after Kat & Peter's happy ending!

HAVE YOURSELF A KINKY, LITTLE XMAS!

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Please check out my story in The Sexy Librarian's anthology that gives us a bold peek into lust and love from the male perspective!