Tuesday, October 2, 2012

But for me fall started over a month ago, September 1st to be exact. Lee argues that fall does not officially start until September 22... blah blah blah...

But if you ask me, summer ends as soon as the thermometer dips into the 40's... Anything below 50 degrees my friends, is. not. summer.

So here we are, our first fall in Chicago. And so far things are already different...

- Our airconditioner has been off for five weeks. We just leave a window open! (This is not something I did in Texas since fall consists of about a four day break in between a 103 degree day and a 35 degree day.)

- Columbia students are back in school, which would explain the exponential growth of persons with nose rings, purple hair and combat boots. (It also explains why the stench of the homeless man on our park bench has been replaced with the smell of marijuana. It's like they think no one can see them, or smell them for that matter, huddled in the corner at 8:15 am.)

- Speaking of the park... the leaves are changing! Like really changing... from green to yellow to orange and red. Not like at home where they change from greenish to brown to browner to dead...

So pretty :)

- I've started wearing boots... and a coat. I had to go coat shopping for the first time since college. I will say that not everyone thinks this is coat weather. Some people seem to be totally comfortable in a t-shirt, they are obviously not from Texas.

- Which brings to me to another point... I've had way to many conversations that go something like....

Me: Yeah, Chicago is a great city. I just moved up here in June from Houston.

They all have this evil cackle... like they find it funny to watch southern transplants turn into popsicles at the bus stop.

However, they do offer advice...

"We don't do anything for like four months. Load up on TV seasons and movies you won't want to leave the house."

"Boots... lots of boots. Warm boots, boots with fur, snow proof boots, water-proof boots, boots for when the snow melts, and it's not so cold, but it's all slushy and salty...you'll need boots for that too."

"You want to be covered from head to toe. Seriously. Nothing showing but your eyes, like a burka... a snow suit burka."

A snow suit burka...? Sounds like I will either become a bear and hibernate all winter or I'll be moving back to Texas by the first of the year.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

What I thought was going to be a night of wine, grilled cheese and bad 90's movies has turned into a nightmare....

I have a leaking wine fridge. (Ok... so not really a nightmare... but super annoying, especially since I have friends coming to visit tomorrow.)

This would happen when Lee is out of town.

Our wine fridge has been making this terrible noise for over a month now. I figured out that if I flip the breaker, wait a few minutes then turn it back on the noise isn't so bad... for awhile... then it starts up again.

Well, it was extremely annoying this afternoon, I kicked it a few times... when that didn't work, I flipped the breaker... then I forgot. A couple hours later when I realized the power was still off in the entire kitchen I turned it back on, and there was a puddle under the wine fridge.

Oh. Great. I kicked it and now it's leaking.... awesome.

I decided I would try to fix it.

I sat there on the floor staring at the open refrigerator...

Then I imagined myself getting electrocuted and Lee finding my charred body when he got home on Sunday afternoon.

That would be tragic...

But it's not as easy as just unplugging it because the outlet is built in under the kitchen counter, and you can't unplug the wine refrigerator without taking apart the counter. And I can't leave the breaker off because it is responsible for the main fridge.... (Ugh... what do they call this? Rich, white girl problems? Anyway...)

The last two hours have gone something like this...

10:00 pm - Find water on the floor

10:01 pm - Smell it to make sure it's not pee...

10:02 pm - It's not... Wipe up water

10:07 pm - Am I crazy? No... no the puddle is back.... this is bad.

10:10 pm - Stare at open fridge trying to think of something intelligent to do.

10:11 pm - Think of nothing...

10:15 pm - Google - "why is my fridge leaking?"

10:17 pm - Find out that it's probably frozen... and needs to be defrosted... (Defrosted? What is this 1952? I didn't even know there were still refrigerators that weren't frost free...)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Lee and I had our first Chicago Parks Golf experience last weekend. Lee has only been golfing out in the 'burbs since we got here, so he was skeptical.

His skepticism proved valid when we pulled into the neighborhood and saw this sign....

Rule #1: No selling drugs??

Huh. I thought selling drugs was actually against the law and not just "Respect"... weird.

Upon entering the golf course we came across a wedding complete with elaborate dresses, large church hats and The Jackson Five playing mid-ceremony.

On the course we were privy to a music festival where we heard things like... "Praaaaaise Jeeeeesuuuuus!" and "Goooood bless the south side! Goooood bless the west side!"

***

Lee: I feel like we walked into a Tyler Perry movie...

Me: Exactly.

***

Then... on hole 5, I hurt my back because apparently I'm 27 going on 70 and couldn't finish the round.

But on the plus side, as we trekked back to the car... we got to see the ghost of Ray Charles, smoking pot in the parking lot. (Seriously.. looked just like him. Plus he was wearing all white. White shoes, white pants, white shirt, white jacket, white tie, white sunglasses...)

Selling it? Against the rules... Smoking it? (In the church parking lot) No problem...

It was all too much so we went for margaritas...

I seriously hope my back gets better because I cannot wait to go back.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I don't know how it happened. We went to Austin over the weekend, I read it on the plane and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I sat down in the bathtub excited to finish Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter... (Don't judge me) and..... nothing. Then... white lines took over the screen....

To make things worse I just bought $50.00 worth of Kindle books! I haven't bought a Kindle book since last July... a whole year... and the minute I do my Kindle dies.

Maybe I'm being punished for buying 50 Shades of Grey?

While mourning the loss of my Kindle I decided it was time to invest in a library card, especially since there is a 750,000 square foot library two blocks from my house.

I made my way down to the library feeling a little bit better about my Kindle.

***

Me: Hi. I'd like to get a library card.

Library Dude: Picture ID with proof of Chicago address.

Me: Right... well, I just moved here. I have a Texas ID, and I brought with me a signed copy of my apartment lease, (Is that forward thinking or what?) as proof of re...

LD: We don't accept that.

Me: ...sidence. You don't...?

LD: No. We don't accept apartment leases because someone could go down to Wal-Mart purchase a general lease, copy it, and sign it to falsify residency.

(This seems unlikely since there are about two Wal-Marts in Chicago...but whatever...)

Me: That's sounds like a lot of trouble for a library card.

LD: stares

Me: Ok... well what do you suggest I do?

LD: We will accept a voter registration card, an electric or gas bill with your name and address or a piece of mail postmarked in the last 30 days.

Me: Alright, I'll go home and get some mail.

LD: Or your voter registration card.

Me: Yeah, well like I said I just moved here so I haven't really gotten around to that yet.

LD: stares

Me: Ok, then.

LD: You could mail yourself a letter. It should get there in two days...

Me: stares... Thanks for your help.

***

Later that night...

Lee: Hey, you got a check in the mail!

Me: Ugh! But that has my business name on it, I need a letter with my name... Oh! Hey!... here's one!

Lee: Sooo... why are you more excited about your name than money?

.....

Me: So then he was all, "Or your voter registration card..."

Lee: You should have told him you don't believe in democracy...

Me: Ha. Yeah. But I mean who would go through the trouble to falsify a lease for a library card?!

Lee: Keely.... Knowledge. Is. Power.

***

Today, after carrying a box to the library, (because it was the only piece of mail of mine that had my name and a 30 day post mark on it) getting a lecture on the importance of protecting my library card... from different librarian... (who wore white gloves by the way...strange..) I am the proud owner of a Chicago public library card!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I was walking Mr. Bigg around the park this morning, like I do every morning. And I was on part of a sidewalk that runs along a dead end street. As we neared the dead end a Chicago police suburban pulled up next to me. The officer rolled down the window – he was a huge, black man with a buzzed head and dark sunglasses. (Even though it was super cloudy outside… Maybe he was trying to look intimidating?? … it worked.)

He looked pissed.

Officer: How did you obtain my property?

Me: Excuse me?

Officer: How. Did. You. Obtain. My. Property?

At this point, both Mr. Bigg and I were staring at him sideways, like that was supposed to help make sense of this situation.

He motioned his head toward Mr. Bigg.

Me: Huh?

Then he burst out laughing…. like a deep belly laugh. He had cracked himself up.

Me? My laugh was more of an “I STILL have no idea what you’re talking about…but I’m going to laugh because you’re laughing” laugh.

Officer: That is the most beautiful dog!!! He is just beeeeeauuuuutiful!

Me: Oh, well, thanks.

Officer: Great dog! Great dog!

He is still laughing, he seems like quite a jolly man. Then he stops, regains the angry expression from before, rolls up his window and reverses down the street.

Oookkkk….

While this is all a little bizarre it’s not really that surprising.

Chicagoans love Mr. Bigg.

Every time I take him outside people oooo and ahhh over him. People stop me and ask questions about him, I don’t know if people here are just super friendly, or if they actually love my dog.

One lady threw her hands up, ran across the park and said, “OHHH! I’ve never seen a brown one before! He’s gorgeous!!!”

Really? She’s never seen a brown Chihuahua?

And those are just the two most dramatic situations…

Do they not have Chihuahuas in Chicago?

I guess I’m just confused because in Texas Chihuahuas don’t seem to be too popular.

Monday, July 9, 2012

After a year of hiatus I have decided to jump back on the blogging bandwagon. We have officially been back from the Philippines for a year, and about a month ago we moved from Houston to Chicago. While I don't anticipate as many "mis-adventures" in the Windy City I'm looking forward to all the fun it has to offer. Stay tuned!

Chicago

I began writing The Undomesticated Housewife in April of 2009 when my husband Lee and I moved to the Philippines. It's been a year since we moved back home, and we are starting a new chapter of our lives in Chicago. I decided to get back to blogging and chronicle our adventures in the Windy City. Stay Tuned!