ST. MYER: Zero tolerance for bullies

Just a spoonful of Fruit Loops remained in her bowl when Lexi turned to me and said, "I don't want to go to latchkey."

My 5-year-old girl complained to me about the after-school program before, but the pleading tone of her voice on this particular morning woke me from denial.

I already knew the answer, but I asked the question anyway.

"Lexi are you being picked on?"

She somberly shook her head and said, "Yes, by three older boys."

I then learned Lexi was so apprehensive about being picked on by the boys she was crying at school and complaining to her kindergarten teacher about stomachaches.

Her telling me this conjured up a painful memory for me. I bet everyone has been bullied to varying degrees at some point in their youth. I certainly was.

The last time I was truly bullied was as a seventh-grade student at Wilson Middle School. A fellow student who stood about a foot taller than me and outweighed me by about 100 pounds decided to pick on me in shop class.

The most humiliating part was when he stuck his brown Eastland loafers in my face and told me to kiss them. Or else. I bent down a few times and puckered up before he finally tired of robbing me of my dignity.

I dreaded attending the shop class so much I eventually spoke to my guidance counselor about dropping it. He told me it was too late in the semester to switch classes. He then asked, "Is someone picking on you?"

I wasn't man enough then to stand up to my bully nor was I man enough to tell my guidance counselor the truth. The fact Lexi admitted she's being bullied tells me she's more mature as a 5-year-old than I was at 13.

My wife, Kara, advised Lexi to ignore the boys and tell the latchkey supervisors if they refused to leave her alone.

Kara then sent her kindergarten teacher an email explaining the situation and she spoke face-to-face with the latchkey director. Both of the school employees responded compassionately and promised to watch after Lexi. The director even introduced her to some other kids in the program that afternoon and Lexi returned home that night with nine new friends.

Kara deserves tremendous credit for how she's addressed the issue.

As an overprotective dad, I'm not nearly as good in these situations. I figured that out a couple of years ago when I dropped Lexi off at daycare.

A boy standing near the doorway greeted her by saying, "You're ugly."

I locked eyes with the boy and tersely said, "You're ugly!"

Not exactly one of my prouder moments as a dad. Hindsight tells me I should've hugged Lexi and told her to ignore him.

But even if I had a do-over, I'm not sure I would've handled the situation any better.

When it comes to bullies, I have zero tolerance. Particularly for ones who wear Eastland loafers.

Thomas St. Myer is a reporter for The Star Press. He writes this weekly parenting column.