The biggest problem is flow. It doesnít flow well and part of that is TMI, what my wife would call Too Much Information. Donít get too far into the minutiae of why and how. As is pointed out in the Making of Star Trek, you donít have Marshal Dillon explaining the mechanics of the Colt Peacemaker, because they are incidental to the story.

This causes rocks to fall into the flow of the river of the story, and that causes the reader to be buffeted. The smoother the story flows, the better. This like a lot of problems is an editing problem. Just look at the work, reread, edit, rewrite, and polish until smooth.

The explanations of the training clothing is excellent, giving someone like me (Who never got into the DBZ universe) an idea of the why of their costuming.

The basics are good but youíre hurrying the story too much. You go in two paragraphs through a century of enslavement and revenge, but have no explanation as to why. Slow it down. Horror writing, like any story, is a refreshing drink to be savored, not chugged like a glass of water on a hot day.

Originally reviewed on June 7 2007. I failed in posting this on Kotorfanmedia last year, but here it is now.

After TSL: Carth and Revan are reunited.

The story is basic and poignant. Very well done.

20 thumbs up, and worth every one.

Reprise Pick of the Week.

When I started I intended to have only one piece of everyoneís work. Of course I was working from the bottom of the original Authorís list, which has since become defunct.

That is why I did not review this work before, and all I can claim is youthful inexperience and long and faithful service. But Amber deserves the same treatment I have given every other writer who posted more than one work soÖ

That said, I started giggling when I got to the Alien chiefís diatribe, and the end was pure choice. All I am hoping for is the scene that follows this one, because her revenge has to be as monumental as her irritation.

Originally reviewed on June 7 2007. I failed in posting this on Kotorfanmedia last year, but here it is now.

Set almost two decade before KOTOR: An unlikely pair of friends meets Jolee Bindo.

Having Revan come from a society as straight laced as the one Falnangel describes is just so choice. Especially being born of an upper-class of that society. How Revan handles it, and how easily she is willing to throw it aside makes the characters even more interesting

Reprise Pick of the Week.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?