I almost never respond to a wink from a GOLD MEMBER. If part of their membershiup entiles them to send an email, why would they take the easy way and just wink when they can be so much more personal, original and interesting with an email??? They don't have to write volumes. A short clever note will do the trick. Maybe we need to implement the NOD. Something between the wink and the email. A compromise. A canned sentence with a fill in the blanks feature. LOL...

I almost never respond to a wink from a GOLD MEMBER. If part of their membershiup entiles them to send an email, why would they take the easy way and just wink when they can be so much more personal, original and interesting with an email??? They don't have to write volumes. A short clever note will do the trick. Maybe we need to implement the NOD. Something between the wink and the email. A compromise. A canned sentence with a fill in the blanks feature. LOL...

I was waiting to see if Courtney wanted to field this one. Here goes...
The value of the wink is the fact that it IS somebody else's words. It makes it very easy to distance yourself from the message and save face if things go poorly. It's just like IRL, the non-verbal signals are INTENTIONALLY ambiguous.
Using the cocktail party example, if you get a negative signal before approaching, it saves you the time of pursuing something that never would have gotten off the ground. It also saves her (keep in mind, signals work both ways) the trouble of having to get rid of some socially inept guy (because he clearly missed her non-verbal cues) and looking like a complete biotch to everyone else. (Unfortunately, she has no choice because Mr. Creepasaurus doesn't understand "subtle"). So, it serves both of them.
Now, back to MM, the wink lets you stay impersonal initially. If there is no response, you can simply save face by telling yourself "They're probably busy, and it got lost in the shuffle." Just like when a smile isn't returned IRL, and you think they didn't "see" it. (Reality is, they just weren't interested.) Plus, you have the luxury of knowing, they rejected something completely IMPERSONAL, not you. They don't KNOW you. However, if it's someone you'd really like to get to know and you spend hours, hell, days writing that perfect email loaded with your personal blend of wit and charm, only to have it met with the deafening sound of virtual crickets...well, that's gonna leave a mark...

I was waiting to see if Courtney wanted to field this one. Here goes... The value of the wink is the fact that it IS somebody else's words. It makes it very easy to distance yourself from the message and save face if things go poorly. It's just like IRL, the non-verbal signals are INTENTIONALLY ambiguous. Using the cocktail party example, if you get a negative signal before approaching, it saves you the time of pursuing something that never would have gotten off the ground. It also saves her (keep in mind, signals work both ways) the trouble of having to get rid of some socially inept guy (because he clearly missed her non-verbal cues) and looking like a complete biotch to everyone else. (Unfortunately, she has no choice because Mr. Creepasaurus doesn't understand "subtle"). So, it serves both of them. Now, back to MM, the wink lets you stay impersonal initially. If there is no response, you can simply save face by telling yourself "They're probably busy, and it got lost in the shuffle." Just like when a smile isn't returned IRL, and you think they didn't "see" it. (Reality is, they just weren't interested.) Plus, you have the luxury of knowing, they rejected something completely IMPERSONAL, not you. They don't KNOW you. However, if it's someone you'd really like to get to know and you spend hours, hell, days writing that perfect email loaded with your personal blend of wit and charm, only to have it met with the deafening sound of virtual crickets...well, that's gonna leave a mark...

I think many are forgetting that the "wink", aptly named, is simply an effort to bring some of the initial non-verbal communication that occurs in a social setting IRL into the virtual world. For example, you're at a cocktail party and you notice this amazing brunette in a killer dress. She catches your glance and in several subtle, yet perceptible ways, she makes it known that she welcomes further interaction. However, she could just as well have turned away so as to cut off further communication. In any case, inital contact is often subtle, intentionally ambiguous, and can even raise the question of which party actually made the first move.
Most women know the dance. FEW men know the dance, unfortunately, causing women to send signals that are often missed, both "come talk to me" AND "you must be out of your damn mind". Ultimately, both parties end up frustrated. But, its the dance.
Requiring or expecting an email simply because a member CAN send an email is the same as expecting a direct approach in social settings simply because someone has a mouth, legs, and basic command of a common language. NOT LIKELY. Non-verbal communication remains a vital part of human interaction and the "wink" is a less-than-perfect virtual substitute.

I think many are forgetting that the "wink", aptly named, is simply an effort to bring some of the initial non-verbal communication that occurs in a social setting IRL into the virtual world. For example, you're at a cocktail party and you notice this amazing brunette in a killer dress. She catches your glance and in several subtle, yet perceptible ways, she makes it known that she welcomes further interaction. However, she could just as well have turned away so as to cut off further communication. In any case, inital contact is often subtle, intentionally ambiguous, and can even raise the question of which party actually made the first move. Most women know the dance. FEW men know the dance, unfortunately, causing women to send signals that are often missed, both "come talk to me" AND "you must be out of your damn mind". Ultimately, both parties end up frustrated. But, its the dance. Requiring or expecting an email simply because a member CAN send an email is the same as expecting a direct approach in social settings simply because someone has a mouth, legs, and basic command of a common language. NOT LIKELY. Non-verbal communication remains a vital part of human interaction and the "wink" is a less-than-perfect virtual substitute.

I started with your attitude a long time ago. I still answer most emails, but I find when I cordially answer a wink with a polite "NO THANK YOU" I almost always open up a can of warms by giving that person the ability to now write to me with what is almost always a less than pleasant note....

Quoting rapunzelsweets

When I send a wink, it is a huge compliment to the recipient. It means I was attracted to their photo, loved their profile and that I wanted to signal my interest. It is disheartening to take time to write and never receive a reply--not even "thanks but I'm not interested."

When I receive a wink, I always view the profile and try to acknowledge the sender one way or another.

Some sites require that you respond to all communications. This seems like a simple social courtesy. Who has the time or energy to send random winks?

Quoting rapunzelsweets

When I send a wink, it is a huge compliment to the recipient. It means I was attracted to their photo, loved their profile and that I wanted to signal my interest. It is disheartening to take time to write and never receive a reply--not even "thanks but I'm not interested."

When I receive a wink, I always view the profile and try to acknowledge the sender one way or another.

Some sites require that you respond to all communications. This seems like a simple social courtesy. Who has the time or energy to send random winks?

I started with your attitude a long time ago. I still answer most emails, but I find when I cordially answer a wink with a polite "NO THANK YOU" I almost always open up a can of warms by giving that person the ability to now write to me with what is almost always a less than pleasant note....

When I send a wink, it is a huge compliment to the recipient. It means I was attracted to their photo, loved their profile and that I wanted to signal my interest. It is disheartening to take time to write and never receive a reply--not even "thanks but I'm not interested."

When I receive a wink, I always view the profile and try to acknowledge the sender one way or another.

Some sites require that you respond to all communications. This seems like a simple social courtesy. Who has the time or energy to send random winks?

When I send a wink, it is a huge compliment to the recipient. It means I was attracted to their photo, loved their profile and that I wanted to signal my interest. It is disheartening to take time to write and never receive a reply--not even "thanks but I'm not interested."

When I receive a wink, I always view the profile and try to acknowledge the sender one way or another.

Some sites require that you respond to all communications. This seems like a simple social courtesy. Who has the time or energy to send random winks?

And I would have loved to meet Healey too. We had some good times over to The Polecat. He is suitabley twisted, just like me !

Quoting thenewman

Well Shaz being cute is in the eyes of the beholder....either way, when and if (again) I make it to Tuscon Bill and I will be having dinner (assuming he is available).....and of course you can come too. You know Healey and I have had dinner several times. Once with Candice....Soooooooo hope to see you in Tuscon........G

Quoting thenewman

Well Shaz being cute is in the eyes of the beholder....either way, when and if (again) I make it to Tuscon Bill and I will be having dinner (assuming he is available).....and of course you can come too. You know Healey and I have had dinner several times. Once with Candice....Soooooooo hope to see you in Tuscon........G

so are oyu buying , then ? I d love to have dindin with ya'all.

And I would have loved to meet Healey too. We had some good times over to The Polecat. He is suitabley twisted, just like me !

Well Shaz being cute is in the eyes of the beholder....either way, when and if (again) I make it to Tuscon Bill and I will be having dinner (assuming he is available).....and of course you can come too. You know Healey and I have had dinner several times. Once with Candice....Soooooooo hope to see you in Tuscon........G

Bill,,thanks for the tip. Ive written MM about it several times..THEY claim there are posting. I dont believe it.

Well Shaz being cute is in the eyes of the beholder....either way, when and if (again) I make it to Tuscon Bill and I will be having dinner (assuming he is available).....and of course you can come too. You know Healey and I have had dinner several times. Once with Candice....Soooooooo hope to see you in Tuscon........G

you are getting spam winks from scammers. Those guys get on here and wink at everyone they can before they are booted off.

DO NOT take the communication offsite. Typically m they will ask you to go to yah000 asap. That is a clear scammer marker as well. DONT do it.

Quoting rusearching4me

I agree that a Gold Member, who has the ability to email, should always take the time to write if he/she wants a response. I don't understand what a man who is a Standard Member is thinking when he winks at a woman. Does he really believe she will upgrade just to write to him? Lately, I've received several winks from men whose profiles seem to be hidden so I can't tell which membership type they have or respond even if I wanted to. Your NOD idea is good. I also think MM should have a wink that says "thanks for the wink, but I don't see us as a match" for those of us who try to be courteous and reply. At this time, there's no alternative but to ignore them.

Quoting rusearching4me

I agree that a Gold Member, who has the ability to email, should always take the time to write if he/she wants a response. I don't understand what a man who is a Standard Member is thinking when he winks at a woman. Does he really believe she will upgrade just to write to him? Lately, I've received several winks from men whose profiles seem to be hidden so I can't tell which membership type they have or respond even if I wanted to. Your NOD idea is good. I also think MM should have a wink that says "thanks for the wink, but I don't see us as a match" for those of us who try to be courteous and reply. At this time, there's no alternative but to ignore them.

you are getting spam winks from scammers. Those guys get on here and wink at everyone they can before they are booted off.

DO NOT take the communication offsite. Typically m they will ask you to go to yah000 asap. That is a clear scammer marker as well. DONT do it.

Tink....the only time I will not send a thanks but, no thanks when I get an email, is if the guy is completely off the wall.....meaning I either fell from heaven in his remarks, or if he reminds me of the stalker guys in the movies. Otherwise I reply.

My beef is I've sent e-mails and gotten nothing in return....not even a thanks, but no thanks, and I don't think I'm a stalker....and I certainly don't think anyone from here fell from heaven.....well, maybe one exception....Intimacy are you reading this?.....LMAO!

Quoting Arizona53

Tink....the only time I will not send a thanks but, no thanks when I get an email, is if the guy is completely off the wall.....meaning I either fell from heaven in his remarks, or if he reminds me of the stalker guys in the movies. Otherwise I reply.

My beef is I've sent e-mails and gotten nothing in return....not even a thanks, but no thanks, and I don't think I'm a stalker....and I certainly don't think anyone from here fell from heaven.....well, maybe one exception....Intimacy are you reading this?.....LMAO!

Tink....the only time I will not send a thanks but, no thanks when I get an email, is if the guy is completely off the wall.....meaning I either fell from heaven in his remarks, or if he reminds me of the stalker guys in the movies. Otherwise I reply.

My beef is I've sent e-mails and gotten nothing in return....not even a thanks, but no thanks, and I don't think I'm a stalker....and I certainly don't think anyone from here fell from heaven.....well, maybe one exception....Intimacy are you reading this?.....LMAO!

Quoting Tinkerbelle

you know what Bill? you are right. I think that a few well chosen lines speaks volumes. If you cant be bothered to write a simple hello or a few words of introduction then fare thee well. The notion of being afraid to write because of the fear of rejection is ridiculous. After all we are all adults here arent we? Most if they arent interested dont even bother to respond. I actually have the utmost respect for those who bother to write a thanks but no thanks note. It shows character [sorry AZ!] Im a big girl I can take it!

Quoting Tinkerbelle

you know what Bill? you are right. I think that a few well chosen lines speaks volumes. If you cant be bothered to write a simple hello or a few words of introduction then fare thee well. The notion of being afraid to write because of the fear of rejection is ridiculous. After all we are all adults here arent we? Most if they arent interested dont even bother to respond. I actually have the utmost respect for those who bother to write a thanks but no thanks note. It shows character [sorry AZ!] Im a big girl I can take it!

Tink....the only time I will not send a thanks but, no thanks when I get an email, is if the guy is completely off the wall.....meaning I either fell from heaven in his remarks, or if he reminds me of the stalker guys in the movies. Otherwise I reply.

My beef is I've sent e-mails and gotten nothing in return....not even a thanks, but no thanks, and I don't think I'm a stalker....and I certainly don't think anyone from here fell from heaven.....well, maybe one exception....Intimacy are you reading this?.....LMAO!

Shaz. I think your posts are still coming up a day late (not a dollar short of course) even though you have upgraded. I did not see this quote until this afternoon even though you posted it yesterday. That may be why your "Empty a drawer" blog was so empty....

Quoting shazbot82

lol bill...I winked at you a few times, as I recall. Pretty sure you responded. Of course, that was ancient history.

Quoting shazbot82

lol bill...I winked at you a few times, as I recall. Pretty sure you responded. Of course, that was ancient history.

Shaz. I think your posts are still coming up a day late (not a dollar short of course) even though you have upgraded. I did not see this quote until this afternoon even though you posted it yesterday. That may be why your "Empty a drawer" blog was so empty....

you know what Bill? you are right. I think that a few well chosen lines speaks volumes. If you cant be bothered to write a simple hello or a few words of introduction then fare thee well. The notion of being afraid to write because of the fear of rejection is ridiculous. After all we are all adults here arent we? Most if they arent interested dont even bother to respond. I actually have the utmost respect for those who bother to write a thanks but no thanks note. It shows character [sorry AZ!] Im a big girl I can take it!

you know what Bill? you are right. I think that a few well chosen lines speaks volumes. If you cant be bothered to write a simple hello or a few words of introduction then fare thee well. The notion of being afraid to write because of the fear of rejection is ridiculous. After all we are all adults here arent we? Most if they arent interested dont even bother to respond. I actually have the utmost respect for those who bother to write a thanks but no thanks note. It shows character [sorry AZ!] Im a big girl I can take it!

There is a note on your profile:"This member has received the maximum number of winks for today. Try again tomorrow or others". I am wondering if this was a response to this blog or you are always this popular? lol

Bill,

There is a note on your profile:"This member has received the maximum number of winks for today. Try again tomorrow or others". I am wondering if this was a response to this blog or you are always this popular? lol