My mom has been working for the past couple of years to secure VA benefits for my grandmother, who is living in assisted living nearby. My grandmother's money is slowly depleting, and while she is eligible for benefits due to my grandfather's service during wartime, one thing after another has been preventing the VA application from going through. Someone my mom trusted to file the forms correctly used out-of-date forms that were rejected, then the second person she turned to sadly passed away before he could be of much help. Now, we find out that the value of the house she still owns but does not live in puts her over the threshold for benefits.

All this to say, tomorrow my parents meet with a lawyer who has been helping them structure my grandmother's estate in such a way that she should get the money she needs to stay at the assisted living community until it's time to move her to a nursing home. I ask for your prayers that all would go smoothly and that the money that both they and my grandmother are spending on all this would not be wasted. If worse comes to worst, she'd have to move back in with us, and the year that she lived with us was just short of hell as we could not adequately care for her needs.

Also, this whole ordeal has taken a toll on all of us, but especially my parents as the "grandmother issue" has adversely affected their marriage. Please pray for a reconciliation between them and that through all this stuff the Lord would move in the ways only He can. I thank you all.

Maverick,A while back I rented a part of a house that had been converted into a triplex.In the apartment next to me, was the elderly homeowner.Her relatives lived in a nearby house, but lacked the strength and time to care for this frail lady's many needs.Rather than put her in assisted living, they hired a live-in caretaker.She was way cheaper than a nurse, infinitely cheaper than assisted living, but was a big strong woman who could get my neighbor in and out of the tub, change soiled clothing, and cook meals for both of them.My neighbor died in her own home a year or two later. I was away visiting my parents when it happened.

Not sure if this arrangement will work for your family, but a lot of folks find it preferable to bring in a sitter/caretaker.Some families need a live-in, others can make do with day help.A few folks employ a nurse, but that is generally not necessary.Think about it.Pray for direction from the Lord. I will join you in prayer.

Thank you all for the prayers! Just reading your comments reminded me that I'm blessed to be part of this community of believers.

The long and short of it is this: the meeting went well. Mom and Dad are out some more money to get the ball rolling again, but prayerfully this time it'll stay rolling.

One thing I didn't mention in the original post is also the toll it's taken on their health, particularly my Mom's. Good thing is, she's lost some weight; bad thing is, oftentimes she doesn't want to eat at all. She told me this morning that if we could just get the VA money coming in, she'd feel like a great burden was removed from her.

Ramblinman: thanks for the suggestion. I will keep that in mind depending on how this situation turns out, and in my opinion that would be a good solution. Not optimal by any means, but better than the current alternative. There are some other familial issues I don't want to get into now that could completely eliminate the caretaker option, but I won't go into that now.

My late wife's grandmother lived in a big old house in Vallejo, California, for over 70 years prior to her death. The last twenty was with a series of live-in care givers that did all the work in exchange for free rent. No significant expenses beyond property taxes, utilities, and food. She passed away one afternoon in the mid 70's with her Bible on the side table and her knitting in her hands. She said to the care giver, "I don't feel too good." and then put her head down and was gone.

The care givers kept grandma active and in rather good health with good food, physical activities, and visits to nearby family members. None of this sitting around for her, she was 99 and rather feisty.