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How To: Not Be Engaged & Not Hate It

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I've said it once and I'll say it again - I've never been the type to dream of my wedding day. But despite never being focused on it, it's hard to not get frustrated when everyone is getting engaged. Surely not everyone right? Well, when I log into FaceBook and find out that 3 of my friends have been recently engaged in the past month, I'd say yeah, everyone. I'm not hating on love or commitment or anything like that - I've been in a committed relationship for over 5 years, and one of my bestfriends is engaged and I couldn't be happier for her. But what's a non-engaged girl to do when it seems like everyone around her is being presented with diamond rings and promised forever? Here's a list of 4 ways to keep said girl sane.

1. Remember that you're still young. Despite my recent complaint of being 26 and getting older, I admit that in grand scheme of things I'm still relatively young. Not to take anything away from those who've found their soulmate at a young age (I mean, I met my boyfriend when I was 20!), but the ladies from Sex And The City didn't met their guys until they were in their late-thirties/forties. Carrie & co. made it clear: don't rush the "m" word.

2. Your relationship is your relationship. I've been in a relationship for 5 years and although we've definitely mentioned the idea of 'forever', we haven't set time limits on anything or talked too in depth about marriage. If I allowed the fact that others are engaged after dating for a year or two or three even, I'd be miserable. Not only does every relationship have it's own pace, but every relationship has it's own priorities. At the moment, my boyfriend and I feel like we have a few things to accomplish separately without the pressure of being a spouse, and that being together in the meantime is enough. If I wasted time comparing to other relationships, I'd be questioning a pretty great thing.

3. Enjoy that you can 'have your cake and eat it too.' I'm not sure that was the right euphemism but we're rolling with it. Basically, bask in the fact that you can do whatever you want. That's not to say that relationships don't come with responsibilities or that marriages are stifling. But when you aren't married/a parent, it's different (or so I'm assuming as I'm neither of those yet). You can binge watch chick flicks or rom-coms without having to flip to ESPN. You can forget to make dinner and munch on potato chips and sip wine without feeling guilty that you're starving your spouse. You can channel surf and blog at the same time without feeling like you're selfishly hogging all of the entertainment (sometimes). Point is, the freedom of not being attached to someone and making decisions without any dependents is quite wonderful - enjoy it!

4. You're not missing out on anything. You simply aren't there yet. Ignore those little pangs that make you feel like the odd one out. This isn't the last train to Paris or anything. Just because you can't jump on the train yet doesn't mean you shouldn't look forward to one coming after it. So while you watch your best friend exchanging vows with her groom on her day, don't envy it and don't feel left out. There's enough happiness for all of us, and one happy girl doesn't drain the pot. Just look forward to your special day with your special person. Because it's coming, and it will be just for you and just in time.

I think I'm the said best friend friend in the first paragraph! And even though I'm engaged I LOVE LOVE LOVE this because I too would wallow in the "why not me?" when others around were settling down. We really are young though. Cheers to our youthfulness!!! Oh and want to come visit me and go to Dry Bar and Mac (which I pretty much live right above) together? MISS YOUUUUUUU

I love love this post. Everyday someone is popping up engaged or pregnant on social media and the pressure was starting to make me a little crazy. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not there yet and don't need to be rushing it either.

I'm going to have to keep all of these in mind when I stand beside one of my best friends in about a month. Although I'm not in a relationship, it is especially hard when you see everyone and their brother (or sister) getting married or having kids. Today alone I know of three weddings and a baby that was had. Life man, it goes by insanely fast.

To be able to each person in the world, currently being Engaged Bloggers is a very special practical knowledge. It's not necessarily a responsibility that was realized before, although today it is a great open acclaim.

Hello, I'm Kari

Super ♥ girlfriend, daughter, friend & writer. Lucky enough to call New York City my home. Addicted to pretty little things, making lists, anything coffee flavored or scented, curling up with a good book, strolls through the city at night, xl glasses of wine. And a little glitter never hurt nobody.