Simlish Translated: The Sims Are Foul-Mouthed, Hate Mike Bensa

Who is Mike Bensa? We have no idea, but apparently it’s an article of faith among the Sims that he needs a good old-fashioned beating. Also, perhaps less than surprisingly, the Sims all curse like sailors, and not just when you decide to strip them naked in front of their date.

For example, this flag translates out to “F*** Mike Bensa”, written backwards:

This mathematical guide states “Multiplication F*** You”:

And that’s really just the start of things. Apparently whoever was in charge of filler text needed short, four-letter words, so they picked the most famous short, four-letter words they could think of.

It’s a little baffling this happened. There’s nothing nerds like more than translating “alien languages” thrown at them: Just ask the Futurama team, which uses an actual cipher in its alien languages solely to mess with fans.

As for who, exactly, Mike Bensa is, there are claims that he works for EA as a sales coordinator, but for obvious reasons, this has yet to be confirmed. What, precisely, he did to anger the entire Sims nation to the point where they train in hand-to-hand combat just to beat him senseless has yet to be revealed. We eagerly await the knowledge.