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Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Background:

The Times

In an unprecedented move, the FA has today announced that it intends to appoint 10 football fans to take control of teams in the Blue Square South and North. An FA spokesperson said the reason for the decision was to prove to fans once and for all that they could not do a better job than professional managers.

“We always hear of fans complaining that their managers are rubbish and that they could do a better job. They complain about the formation, the starting line up, the way managers handle the press, everything. Well it’s time for them to put their money where their mouth is. We will be accepting applications from fans all over the world. The best 10 applicants will get to manage a Blue Square South or North team of their choice.”

When asked what would happen to the displaced managers the spokesperson merely commented that “they will be given an adequate compensation package”.

There are also rumours that the FA will allow the chosen candidates to bring in a member of staff of their choice. The staff member could be playing or non-playing. The FA spokesperson has not denied or confirmed these rumours but did say “the successful candidates will be given the opportunity to bring in adequate support”.

The Sign Up:

Firstly let me say that this is not a first come first serve sign up, forum members will have to submit their managerial application to the FA (me). The best ten applications will be included in the sign up.

The idea is that 10 fans will be given the opportunity to manage a Blue Square South or North team. CA will be set at 60 to represent the lack of experience (their only experience being FM!). However, this is the fans opportunity to prove that in fact, they do know more than the professionals. Therefore PA will be set at 160 (not 200 as I believe even the most dedicated fan would never match Fergie etc, and anyway I would like to see some smaller teams involved in the sign up, not just Man Oooo or Chelski.)

The 10 managers will also be given the opportunity to bring in 1 member of staff. Be that bringing in your wise old dad as your ass man or your younger brother as your star right back, the choice is entirely yours. These members of staff will also have a CA of 60 PA of 160.

I will try and keep the updates quite interesting by including newspaper reports as above. I will probably do start of season, mid season and end of season updates. My aim is to do one update a week.

I will also be thinking of ways to throw surprises into the sign up by introducing sub plots, such as displaced managers plotting their revenge, which may result in signer uppers losing their jobs .

This is my first sign up so please feel free to make suggestions or tell me where I am going wrong.

Applications:

I will hopefully be putting the sign up form tonight (if not it is likely to be Tuesday, the reason for the early post is to get any feed-back, changes people recommend so they can be implanted before this is started). I will be giving people a set amount of points to spend on their managers and on their staff (obviously the amount of points will be dependent on whether you choose a non-playing or playing member of staff).

However, the most important aspect of the form will be the ‘Further Information’. This will be the part I will be using to select who joins the sign up. Obviously humorous or interesting information will be better than ‘I want to be a manager cuz I is good’. They don’t have to be lengthy pieces of immaculate writing; I just want something that shows you have put some effort in, as I believe this means that you will be more likely to contribute to the sign up. Remember the theme, this is an application for a fan to become a manager, also this is not meant to be a deadly serious sign up, it’s meant to be fun, therefore silly ‘further information’ is just as welcome as serious ‘further information’, as long as it fits with the overall story I don’t mind!

In return, obviously, I will have to put a lot of effort in as well, so if I’m not doing what I should be, slacking, not updating etc please feel free to give me grief!!

So please make any suggestions now, and hopefully the sign up form will be up sooner rather than later.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Ok so here's the form. (please keep names fairly realistic, ages will be 40 for the managers and non playing staff in game, but for story purposes on the forum please give your full DOB, players can be any age) You must spend at least 1 point on each attribute, for certain attributes such as Controversy they will start on 20, spend points to lower them.

Reputation will be 60, CA - 60 PA - 160

Remember you have to give details for you (the manager) and for 1 member of staff who can be playing or non-playing NOT BOTH If you choose a non playing staff member use the manager form but take out team and please indicate the role - Ass Man, Scout, Coach (Not a physio)

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - A self-confessed football tragic, Cooper Patton was delighted to have a chance to manage a semi-professional club, and show the so-called ΄professional managers΄ how it should be done. An addict on FM for years on end, Patton was ready to push the mentality slider to All Out Attack as he pursued his ultimate dream - to manage an A-League club. What better place to start, than to manage a club in the Conference? Patton submitted his application, and waited. Among the pros of Patton΄s previous football fan experience, was his winning of the pub football tipping competition in ΄98, and the bet he won of $100 that Hull would get promoted to the premiership in 2009. He was also voted ΄Most Likely to Start a Fight Over Football΄ by his drinking peers. Who could beat that?

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - Coop Cooper came through the ranks of the old NSL club in Australia, the Sutherland Sharks. A victim the 2003 demise of the NSL, and the subsequent lack of a national league until the inception of the A-League, Cooper left Australia in order to ply his trade overseas. Following unsuccessful trials with Championship, and League 1 and 2 clubs, Cooper gave up on football as a career, and pursued an apprenticeship in building. However, months later, he received a call from a new Australian manager who had taken up post the semi-professional leagues. Asked whether he would consider a contract with the club, Cooper accepted, as the part-time training coincided with his building apprenticeship. Cooper was pretty sure the dream of a professional career in Europe was over, but why not keep a stuttering career going? If not for the time being...

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

The Times

The FA has announced that they are now accepting applications for perspective managers. They have set a deadline of Tuesday 28 April. An FA spokesperson said -

"We will only be accepting 10 applications out of the many we expect to apply, those applications will have to be of the highest standard. We are most interested in the person's background and why they want to manage and why they would be any good at it as they are only fans with no managerial experience. Not that any of them will be any good!"

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -The manager Stew ferguson was born in hartlepool and grow up in a town called horden it is his lifelong dream to become a football manager got a wide range of skills and loves sunderland very hard working and can turn the game around with his tactical skills like attacking play more than defence but with tactical abilty who needs it

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - Liam Ferguson is a great player for the furture and got a wide range of skills born in hartlepool grow up loving football with his dad looking to be a football manager had a good history playing for local under 15 team and his school been playin fm since was 8 plays up to 2050 on everyone even thought he sucks at tactics getting relgated and sacked all the time

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - A good, hard working man who has long wanted to be a football manager. Whether he's in the pub yelling at the T.V with his mates or yelling at little dots running around his latop screen no one can doubt his drive and ambition. He wants to try and stay in the North East and get his hands on his beloved Magpies but he is content to work his way up the ladder. He likes to watch and create fast, counter attacking football and is always one of the first people to defend any of his players.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - The son of Robert Blowcrapup his support of Sunderland is a constant thorn in his dad's side. Like all fans of poor clubs he has a streak of glory hunter in so he also supports Arsenal. As well as being a talented footballer he is also an avid chess player and is cyrrently trying to learn to speak Manderin.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

I should be chosen as i have had an addiction to FM for many years, despite smashing several keyboards, monitors and mice to bits I am also a Wycombe Wanderers fanatic IRL and follow the team to every game they play (exeptions being when i have exams) even if that means sitting on the roof of the stand to get a seat, albeit an uncomfortable one at that I also post in every sign-up that i am involved in regularly in my short time since joining this forum 2 and 1/2 months ago. Just look at my posts per day count for goodness sake Whether it is shouting at a computer screen with little stick men playing, or yelling at the TV in the pub yelling abuse at opposing players, my mates will tell you i am a football man (Well, obsessed and slightly crazy) through and through

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Originally Posted by fergysafc

it hard to do further info for me im only 14 and i suck at english

will take it off :P

Heya mate, no worries, just think of some silly things you've done in the name of football to show you are dedicated or show how obsessed with FM you are or anything, just let your imagination run wild. If it helps speak it out first then write it down. Just put something wacky, whatever, as long as you show you have made some effort that's cool, don't worry about writing skills etc, that doesn't matter!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last edited by Denther; 24-04-2009 at 21:30.
Reason: Speeling is hard when intoxicated

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -
I should be considered for the post of manager at Vauxhall Motors because of my exemplary record in FM games. While major trophies are few and far between (only two Champions Leagues and one La Liga title ), I've been known to help minor clubs overachieve beyond their expectations. Examples include bringing Man City to within two points of Champions League qualification in my first season, and almost getting QPR promoted, both times when they were tipped for relegation.

I'm also a regular contributor to the FM Forums, and this allows me to tap into the great knowledge of the members there (). I've decided to rope in my fiancee Rachel, whom I met during my days as a Premier League footballer, as my assistant manager, for she is as passionate about football as I am. We're almost like two peas in a pod and together, we aim to bring success to Ellesmere Port, which would be a great achievement, especially in light of the troubles of their parent company, GM Vauxhall, in this current financial crisis.

I am a great motivator (and so is Rachel ), and have a very good eye for talent, so my philosophy will definitely be based around youth, and building for the future.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -
Rachel is my fiancee, and while people might scoff at this attractive blonde at the touchline, she is a passionate football fan through and through and definitely knows her stuff. She will support and assist me in my managerial duties and motivate the troops in a way no other guy can. With such an attractive lass on the sidelines cheering you on, who wouldn't be motivated to win games? And with that, I believe that me and Rachel are the perfect combination to provide the winning formula for Vauxhall Motors to rise up the leagues to become future European superpowers.

(I hope that is okay. Feel free to point out any mistakes)

Last edited by BenArsenal; 25-04-2009 at 10:22.
Reason: Only two Champions Leagues...

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Thanks for the Denther Will add my staff/player sometime this weekend as i am going to see Wycombe Vs Port Vale IRL this afternoon - the afternoon long awaited when we can and will gain promotion back to League 1

The wealthy Blanco family left Peru under a bit of a cloud some seven or eight years ago. Papa Blanco was the owner of a gold and diamond mining company, but was forced to sell up and leave the country once it became clear that the incidents involving executives at rival companies disappearing down mineshafts were all connected to him.

When he arrived in England, both he and his son took to football. Living in north London, there was no other option but to go and see the best team there - Barnet. Both Blanco's are now naturalised British citizens and season ticket holders at Underhill, and now there is a Barnet fan club located in Cuzco, in Peru, where League 2 games are broadcast to the world...

Their inflated egos made them certain that they could make it in football - so when this opportunity came up the Peruvian geniuses could not let it just slip away.

A cockney geezer through and through. Would like to obtain control of the wombles of which he has been a lifelong fan in return for waiving Jon Mains gambling debts and for the destruction of some interesting personal polaroids of Terry Brown and Uncle Bulgaria. After deciding GTA was too soft has spent his evenings since cm00/01 pushing the tackling up to hard the passing to long and watching the carnage. No player with strength or agression under 15 will ever be permitted under Charlie Crabs' watch. And if the tactics don't work you'll see him in the 3D match view sending his subs to deliver the bungs to the keepers or messing with the floodlights. No longer will the dons be corrupted with Terry Browns flowing passing moves from now on its route one all the boys. Oh yes the crazy gangs back!

The pallandromically named Junior Khanye Jnr is the son of FM2007 legend Junior Khanye. But alas is his son in name only. Kicked out from his home when only 12 after questioning his father whether there was more to being a footballer than dribbling 20. The next years are murky; some say he went to Guyana to train to be a priest, some say he was drugged by his father and woke up there in exile as a disgrace to the family. Whatever the truth it was in Guyana that he ran into a man called Charlie Crabs, a Lahndahn geezer out on a quest for the secret of latin flair football but instead only finding a magical local plant extract to really help the boys get on the end of those long balls and sometimes all too literally refind the crazy gang spirit. On the condition that he would carry Charlies bag through customs Junior Jnr was rewarded his first professional football contract and started to prove his father wrong with the baffling concepts of defending.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -Charlie Zhang,A baba who returned from the United Kingdom, he is generally disapproving of the Peranakan culture, earning him scorn from the older generation of high Peranakan society. He has affairs with many women, and would like to take over a New Club with his wealth and status.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) - a man obsessed over football who managed to gain entry as a manager through backhand deals with FA officials to finally realise his dream of applying his own ideas on a scale more than just video games but to a real team! an engineer and an architect in his previous occupations, he is as precise as those jobs would require in his tactical instructions and strategems.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -
once a hot shot youth talent scouted heavily and of much interest to clubs all over the world until laziness hit at a surprisingly yung, but his dad (manager) inspiring him and assuring him of a place in his new side has reinvigorated him, having spent much time training he is back and confident of reattaining glories once set out as a path for him, with his dad's guidance. that is if he can manage to avoid his vices that are all heavily associated with fame, he is still only 20 after all..

Edward has been a Braintree Town fan most of his adult life, raised in Chelmsford, he moved to Braintree with his wife at the age of 22.

As a research scientist he has spent a great deal of time researching and experimenting with growing brains on trees and whether the cerebral cortex can in essence be recreated by growing it on trees in the Braintree area.

Edward recorded one case of a tree that looked like a brain, leading him to submit a research paper that was widely derided by the scientific community, causing the Sun to brand Edward as “Brain-less”.

Thus far Edward’s experiments have yielded just normal trees which he has used to make golf tees for his other passion, golf. The local paper branded Edward’s research as “Brain-tee” due to this failure and the use of the wood.

Edward is now trying to put himself on the map by going into his other love, football, and hoping to take his beloved Braintree, otherwise known as “the Iron” due to the history as being owned by a company that made iron windows on the map and take them to the football league.

Ryan Lamb grew up on a farm near Braintree herding Sheep for a living. His experiences on his parents farm, together with running and walking over the vast farming estate, meant that he has great stamina, running ability, and fitness for a young lad. His experience with herding lambs to the slaughter has made him a committed vegetarian.

Ironically, Ryan’s favourite band are ‘IRON MAIDEN’, due to the Braintree “Iron” link initially, but then due to their terrific music. In a twist of further irony considering his vegetarianism, his favourite Iron Maiden song is “Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter”.

Ryan’s shoulder length shaggy black hair has had nicknamed “The Sheep” and “Shaggy”, but he assures everyone who accuses him of anything bad, that “It wasn’t me”.

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -
I am an avid football man. I spend much of my time discussing with colleagues at work just where modern day managers are going wrong these days. What I’ give for more charismatic managers like Cloughie in today’s game. I believe too much time is spent tweaking tactics and that good old-fashioned Man management is the way to success.

I spend my Saturdays either in the stands or in the comfort of my home with soccer Saturday immersed with what’s happening up and down the country in the world of football. I then spend my Sundays leading my Sunday side into battle before I take to bench as coach of the local youth side.

I believe I should be given this opportunity to inspire Tamworth or any other side for that matter to great things. I believe that with my motivational and man management skills I could one day be considered one of the greats, a man that people take an instant liking to with my straight talking press conferences. I ask you to strongly consider me as the manager to set the English leagues alight!

Further Information (remember this is the most important bit) -
Jamie is a very strong friend of mine. He and I have a very strong bond and work together perfectly. We know one another’s strengths and weaknesses and can strategically solve problems using each other’s assets (not breasts) to our advantage.

Whilst I am the man motivator he has a very technical and tactical eye for football and can setup a side that can hit upon the opponents weaknesses and destroy any side that tries to beat us. He is currently co-manager of our under 10’s side and we would not have been rising up through the leagues without the tactical mind of this great man.

With his help I feel we could walk away with the league and take whoever we’re in control of to great things. So please give us this chance. Thank you

Further Info - The son of AFC Wimbledon Manager Tom Hamilton, Tom Hamilton Jr is an up and coming striker with a great future ahead of him. Unfortuanately, he supports Colchester United, whom his dad hates Because of this, Hamilton Jr has been the subject of much abuse from Wycombe fans and his dad, and despite his dad trying to break both of his arms and legs when he was 10 to try and make sure that his son would never grow up to play proffesional football, Hamilton Jr has made it this far without major harm, well apart from the much brain damage inflicted accidentally by his father to try to get him to support Wycombe

Sam Ralph is a middle-aged lowlife from South London, he's never been married and has only ever been in one relationship, unfortunately the lucky lady had been keeping some secrets from Sam and the lady wasn't really a lady at all.
He is an avid football fan, his team being Fulham, albeit a quiet one. His hobbies include sleeping and avoiding the 12 year olds that throw stones at him everytime he leaves the house. His favourite holiday destinations include Butlins, hence his other favourite team being Bognor (for anyone who doesn't know, thats where Butlins is).

Recently he started playing the Football Manager series, and after leading Blackburn to 7th place in the Premier he realised that he was born to be a real football manager (somehow..). He had always enjoyed the scouting part of FM, and he liked to think of himself to have a keen eye for young players made him make the decision to leave the house for the first time that year and become a scout for the Wandsworth Lions, a children's football team, to give him first hand experience for when he really became a manager. The team were very surprised that he had applied for the job, but accepted none the less, as Sam had offered his services for free. Then Sam went out onto the Commons and watched people playing football, but it was to no avail, any small children he approached were quickly scooped away by their worried mothers who gave Sam disgusted looks and threatened to report him to the Sex Offender's register.
Sam soon got bored of scouting, so it was back to the drawing board, otherwise, back to the computer screen as he continued his plight to become a top manager.

Sam Ralph saw Miles Johnson on a rare trip to the local common, Miles wasn't with a team, just with playing with his mates. To be honest, Miles was overweight and obviously very unfit. Sam was just turning his head away until Miles got the ball. He chested it down superbly and hit a fantastic volley that went into the net, from 30 yards out. He knew that this boy had real talent and that his years of FM playing had finally payed off. Sam sat on a bench and watched the game for another half an hour, then knew that Miles Johnson was a very rough diamond. He went over and told Miles that he was an agent (an absolute lie of course!), and they exchanged contact numbers. Sam assured Miles that he would one day be a great football player. Over the next 3 years Sam became Miles' trainer, and he improved his fitness greatly, however he wasn't fit enough for the teams that Miles' trialed for and he hasn't been picked up by any big teams.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

FA Announcement

"The FA has now closed the application process. We have received some... interesting applications. We have been assessing the applications as they were received and so we already have an idea of who we believe the suitable candidates are. However we will take a few more hours to finalise the decision and announce the successful candidates in the near future. Good luck to all involved... you'll certainly need it."

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

The Times

The Times can exclusively reveal that the FA has divulged which lucky applicants will be given the chance to fulfil their dreams and become a football manager. Below are the names of the chosen applicants (in no particular order) and the reasons for acceptance provided to us by the FA:-

"The Fa have carefully considered all the applications and have chosen the below applicants to manage in the Blue Square North or South. Where more than one applicant has applied for the same club the FA has used its discretion to appoint candidates to another club.

Cristobal Blanco - WellingUser:Blanco - Although there are allegations against Mr Blanco relating to the unusual disappearances of rival executives, the FA feel that he would fit perfectly into today's cut throat approach in football. The FA believe the presence of Mr Blanco and his son will keep the other managers on their toes.

The FA does not condone the murder of fellow applicants, however we are not the police and can do nothing to stop it...

Charlie Zhang - StalybridgeUser:Coldkohmew - The FA has no idea what a baba or a Peranakan is, but Mr Zhang has a lot of money and likes women and so the FA could not help but admire him for being just like the FA's beloved Sven! Oh how we miss Sven, perhaps Mr Zhang can replace what was lost upon the departure of the great Mr Eriksson.

Cooper Patton - WorkingtonUser:Coop624 - The FA believes that anyone who predicted Hull would get into the Premiership must have some kind of footballing 6th sense. Also as he was also voted ΄Most Likely to Start a Fight Over Football΄ by his drinking peers we believe Mr Patton and Mr Blanco could have a very... interesting relationship.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

The Times

Sam Ralph - Bognor RegisUser:M.G.L- The FA were very impressed with Mr Ralph's scouting ability. The FA feel that if he uses his knowledge of local park players well Bognor may not actually finish bottom of the table, although the FA feel that 20th is a completely unrealistic target.

Also the FA will not let Mr Ralph near the under 18 team as they may start throwing stones at him.

Stew Ferguson - TamworthUser:Fergysafc - The FA were impressed by Mr Ferguson's attitude and determination. Although, the FA would like to point out that following members of the FA board home and singing to them outside their homes at 2am in the morning in an attempt to be chosen, is not normal.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

The Times

Robert Blowcrapup - BlythUser:blowcrapup - The FA feel that they had to accommodate for an applicant who follows Newcastle Utd. They believe that as all Newcastle fans are deluded about the quality of their team, making one of them a manager would be perfect, they can be disillusioned about another team for a change.

The FA were also excited about Mr Blowcrapup's son as the members of the FA board are avid music fans and would love to hear Luke Blowcrapup play the Mandalin. (see what I did there )

Jake Nash - TelfordUser:Crouchie - The FA have already appointed an applicant to Tamworth, however they have given Mr Nash the opportunity to manage another BSN team. The FA have initially appointed Mr Nash to Telford, however should he wish to change that he should contact the FA by 6.00pm this evening.

Mr Nash's experience in coaching his local youth side will stand him in good stead for the challenges ahead. Because of this previous experience Mr Nash is the only applicant the FA actually like as they feel he is more like them and not just a smart arse FM manager.

Charlie Crabs - AFC WimbledonUser:Hamuel - The FA were impressed with Mr Crabs... enthusiasm about taking over AFC Wimbledon. They would especially like to see him wrestling a Womble, although the FA do not condone animal cruelty.

The FA also miss the days of hard tackling and broken legs being a mere scratch. The days when yellow cards were only awarded if you didn't say you were frightfully sorry after headbutting someone, nobody has manners nowadays!

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

brilliant! im happy with telford certainly cheers mate! surprised with my controversy rating at 20 the fa have taken kindly to me but certainly plenty of time for them to hate me haha! bring on the new regime!

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

The Times

And Finally...

Tom Hamilton - Bath CityUser:Hamilton162 - As AFC Wimbledon have already been taken Mr Hamilton was appointed to Bath City, he has until 6.00pm this evening to inform the FA if he wishes to switch to another BSS team.

Although concerned about Mr Hamilton's aggression towards his son, they were more worried about the aggression towards them if he wasn't chosen. Also the FA have been contacted by Wycombe who pleaded with them to appoint Mr Hamilton as a manager to "stop the maniac sitting on our roof!".

However the FA have specified that Mr Hamilton not be given a computer in his new job as they believe Bath cannot afford to fork out for a new keyboard/mouse every time he smashes them up.

Re: Anything you can do, we can do better  the sign up.

Sky Sports - Breaking News

We can now reveal that the FA have increased the amount of spaces available from 10 to 12! Here are the final two successful candidates:-

Edward Nelson - BraintreeUser:Wegason - The FA were utterly bemused by Mr Nelson's application. They had no idea that you could grow brains on trees. However they were very happy that this 'research' coincidently ties in with the team Mr Nelson has applied for.

"We at the FA think it must be fate that someone who researches brain trees will be managing Braintree."

Ben Cee - Vauxhall MotorsUser:BenArsenal - The FA said that they couldn't give two hoots about Mr Cee however they were very impressed with Miss Brown's two hoots! The FA have since commented that there should be more woman in football, especially ones who have the stature, experience and legs of Miss Brown.

I liked all the applications so I decided to include all 12

I actually did a mini test last night with two of the managers and their staff. I only played around 5 league games, but they were crap! One was 20th and one was 22nd!

I will finish the database tonight and run a full test. The stats were lowered by the game a bit more than I would like so depending on this final test I may increase the CA to 80. I shall report back either tonight or tomorrow and should have the initial screenies up by the weekend if not sooner .