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Month / October 2014

I have been called a snob on numerous occasions throughout my life. When I was a teenager, I worked at a bakery, and this guy I worked with had no class, and I wasn’t afraid to tell him. It hurt his feelings, but someone had to tell him what is up. He almost got me in trouble, because he decided to steal $40 from the register, and used to steal the whipped cream from the fridge. He was a nightmare to work with, and a tad bit racist. He went to my boyfriend’s school at the time, and I asked him if he knew him, he asked me if he was white, and when I replied yes, he said he doesn’t hang out with the white kids at his school. I just rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue at his ignorance.

Throughout my adult years, I continue to be labeled a “snob”, and I am okay with that, because I have fucking standards! I don’t feel sorry for a lot of people, because most people suffer from chronic bitching, and refuse to solve their damn problems. They would rather bitch about how they don’t have any money then attempt to find a better job, or make some side cash. I don’t have time to listen to this people, because I am a snob.

I dislike people that have five damn babies, and bitch about how expensive they are, perhaps you should have used a condom. How do you not realize babies are expensive? I can see complaining after 1, maybe two, but by five you should know how fucking costly they are!

I dislike moochers, or people that try to play the victim card to get you to help pay for stuff. I worked 48 hours last week, and guess what lazy ass you’re not getting any of my money! I have rent, student loans, gas, and food to pay for, you’re shit out of luck sweetheart.

People with no standards, hate you too. Part of turning into an adulthood is realizing how important it is to have standards. If you do not have standards you are setting yourself up for failure. I don’t associate myself with people who lack ambition, whine, mooch, or act like they’re teenagers, and if that makes me a snob, then guess what I am going to get it tattooed across my forehead!!!!!

Good Morning, or Good Afternoon to whoever the fuck is reading this 🙂 Today, like every other Sunday is Snarky Sunday :), I will be posting a video shortly, but it is NOT what I wanted, because last week I ordered a green screen, and it STILL HAS NOT FUCKING CAME YET! I am extremely pissed off, and hope to get it by Tuesday (I sent them a nice, little, snide email) The reason why I am mad is because I was told it was shipped out on Tuesday, but when I checked the ups tracking number it said it had not been shipped yet ugh!

Anyways, I know you do not want to read my whiny, babbling, but today I would like to discuss “competitive friends”. I am sure you have them, or had them at one point, because we all experience this especially us females. Other women that want to compete with us over the dumbest shit, or just enjoy taking digs at us for our their own amusement, fucking obnoxious! I seriously hate it when people want to elaborate on how much better they are at me at doing something, as if I fucking care! It is super childish, and rather annoying. Why do some women remain teenagers? Why don’t some women grow the fuck up? Not everything is a competition, and REAL friends pat you on the back when you succeed they don’t try to turn your victory into their success. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people in this world that are only out for themselves, and really do not care about your feelings, which is probably a huge reason as to why I am a snarky asshole.

I CAN be competitive, but in a humorous way, everything I do in life I try to do it with humor. I am a damn clown, and usually the comic relief in all situations, and I love making people laugh. I hate it when people challenge my humor, it really pisses me off, because I am pretty damn good at making people laugh, and really want to learn more about writing comedy! Even assholes love a good laugh.

If you are an adult woman that likes to make competition out of dumb stuff then you need to wake up sunshine, and grow the fuck up 🙂

I am on my way out right now, because I have a date with SLEEP, but I wanted to get this quick post up, because it is always a hot topic, and that is “body image”, and the subject of curves. Below are women I consider to be “curvy”

(USMagazine)

(JustJared)

A curvy woman is at a healthy weight with a good hip to waist ratio, but these days it seems as if people are using the term as a nice way to describe a woman that is “overweight”, and this pisses me off! Both of these women are FAR from being overweight, and I would take JLO’s figure over a Victoria Secret models body any day of the week (no offense to them as they are all beautiful too) I am just all about that bass :).

America has an obesity problem, and while we should not “fat shame”, or scorn anyone for their weight, because that is plain mean, and only makes the problem even worse, we should not be calling women who are unhealthy “curvy”, because I personally think it sends a negative message. I do think it is important for society to embrace all different shapes, and sizes, because we all do not look the same and if we did how fucking boring would the world be? We need to make sure we promote health, and being a good weight for our height/body frame, not sugarcoating a health problem with “curvy”!!!!

You probably do not know this BUT two of my favorite flicks are Heathers and Mean Girls. Mean Girls was inspired by the dark comedy, Heathers, and I can seriously sit there and watch them both over and over again, because they do not get old. I love Heathers, because they say things like “you’re such a pillow case”, and “bulimia was so 87”. It also brings up a deep point at the end of the film when the school was about to get blown up, the world is quite similar to high school, people genuinely get along with people who are like themselves. We really do not get along with those that we cannot relate to.

Mean Girls was hilarious, and showcased how females are so fucking mean to each other, and how we just love to screw with each other’s heads, and target those we see as weaker. What is awesome about both of these teen flicks is they were directed by men, and to me that is pure irony. They are the man crush Monday’s this week.

Social media has drastically changed society. It altered how we communicate with people, and made it possible for random shit to be seen by millions in a matter of minutes. There are people that are dying to know the secret to making something go viral, and one of them is me! There really isn’t any sort of formula, if something strikes peoples fancy they will share it. In my opinion, Myspace was the original mama of social media, because it allowed people to share content, make new friends, and lurk. I think it’s main problem was its design made it incredibly easy to outgrow, and Facebook attracted a bigger demographic, causing Myspace’s ship to go crash and sink!

I remember I opened a Facebook account in 2006, and thought it was stupid, because it told people when I became friends with someone! It informed people when I changed my profile photo, and it let me people when the relationship status got altered. It had a white background and was virtually unappealing. At the time, I loved Myspace because I could change the background, add really cool photos and post annoying surveys I answered that nobody really gave a rat’s ass about.

Over time, Facebook grew on me, but I fucking HATE IT! I get sick and tired of people snooping. It is like snooping has consumed their lives, and people cannot communicate like they used to! It has also made adults morph back into whiny little bratty children. People are always bitching, or posting shit that is meant to be private. This type of behavior has inspired my next video…which will be posted on Saturday! Hope you watch. I do fucking hate Facebook but I do have a page where I post snarky memes, and other content…www.facebook.com/snarkybrunette but Twitter is my main bitch @jaclynashley79 Good Night folks…I wish you all a bunch of sarcastic dreams!

I am not quite sure how many of my readers work in an office environment, but if you do this one is for you, and if you do not here are a few tips for your future if you shall work in one.

I am writing this post, because I feel like once people get comfortable with one another they think it is okay to reveal private information about themselves, and then try to get the scoop on you. Sorry sweetheart this girl will not be making any headlines anytime soon.

1. Who is fucking who- Some people love to brag about who they are banging especially if it is someone they work with. Come on this is so high school. Keep it to yourself please.

2. Who is cheating on their significant other- I have worked at a few different offices, and yes there is always someone cheating, and it always seems to make it as the “it” conversation like a juicy headline on some gossip magazine. Why is someone cheating that interesting?

3. Discussing your sex life- Sex is an awesome topic to discuss, but not at work. I do not wish to discuss sex in a professional environment, and sometimes I come off as conservative, but it is a defense mechanism. I don’t want my co-workers to know any details of my relationships especially anything sexual.

4. Why you called out- We all get sick, or take days off, but trying to figure out why people did so a particular time is flat out nosey. If you work in an office environment you have an office busy body that keeps tabs on whatever the fuck everyone is doing even if they are not in the same department.

5. Too much whining- Sometimes I think I am a psychologist, because people LOVE to tell me their problems. They seem to think I am some magical genie and I have the solution to all of their problems stored away in my lamp. Well, sorry sunshine, but I don’t! I cannot help you with your weight problems, or your relationship problems, or your low self esteem issues. Go see a doctor!

Well that is it for now! I am going to be making a video to upload this Saturday, and will continue to make Saturday “Snarky Saturdays” where I will upload a new video! For this week, would you like “top reasons people block you from their Facebook news feed, or horrible songs that need to stop getting air time”. I will also be doing Man Crush Mondays again, and Women Crush Wednesdays starting up again next week! If you are a blogger that would like to get featured on one of those please email me at Jaclynashley79@gmail.com, or send me a tweet @Jaclynashley79