So these "online style profiles" are quite a Thing now, aren't they? The days of just going to a website and typing "black t-shirt" into a search bar are over, like what are you, some kind of e-caveman or something? Now it's all about personalized profiles and recommendations and letting fashion algorithms pick out your outfit because GOD KNOWS what you'd pick out if left to your own unstylish devices.

The only problem with those personalized style profile things is...well, me. The personalized part. Because I managed to thoroughly overthink the process and second-guess myself.

"Do I reach for Vogue or InStyle at the hair salon? I don't know! Which one has Adele on the cover? And is US Weekly an option? Perferably something in a TomKat divorce edition? Because I would read the hell out of that right now."

And then I invariably try to impress the stupid thing and make it think I'm trendier than I actually am, and then my results are all, "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE LADY GAGA."

In other words, I still really need a nice plain black t-shirt.

So it was with a small amount of trepidation that I agreed to create a personalized online style profile on behalf of my children with Wittlebee (which is a kids' clothing club that sends you monthly boxes of fun and mystery), because what if I answered wrong? Is Ezra's favorite color blue or red these days? What's the difference between "sporty" and "casual" and if I say Ike is a "hipster" am I being too aspirational by suggesting that I actually put thought into his clothing beyond "OH HEY LOOK THIS HAND-ME-DOWN IS NOT TOO STAINED"?

I mean, let's be honest here. This...

...is not a photo of two children tearing up a Fashion Week runway.

See, if I was asked to write a style/personality quiz for my kids, it would probably be something like this:

WHICH PHOTO BEST DESCRIBES YOUR CHILD?

a) Made of ham and eyelashes.

b) Loves dogs, hates pants.

c) Is Lady Gaga.

I feel like those are straightforward questions with straightforward answers.

Wittlebee sticks to asking if your kid likes plaid or race cars. How do they feel about green? And do you need some socks?

I guess that works too. And I guess I did pretty okay on the quiz because they sent Ezra a monkey shirt. And I don't think you can do any better than a monkey shirt for that one.

GIVEAWAY! FREE STUFF! COUPON STUFFS!

Leave a comment on this post and I'll pick someone at random to win a free Wittlebee box of kids' clothes, all picked out nice and personal for you (sizes are newborn to 5T). Comments will stay open for seven days and then I'll contact the winner so please leave a valid email address.

Can't wait that long? Already convinced you are doomed to never win anything (PS I NEVER WIN ANYTHING.) Just totally addicted to taking personalized online style profile quizzes? Visit Wittlebee and use coupon code am15 for $15 off your first purchase between now and August 1st, 2012.

I totally don't go in for those personalized sites. Just show me everything! Let me pick! But I would be interested to try this out, esp if they have monkey shirts. My two-year-old is obsessed with monkeys.

Oh yes, I will attempt to win some delicious non-stained kid clothing. Not so sure I would ever get into online personalized styles for the children, since they pick out their own clothing these days and usually put them on backwards anyway. I'm still dressing the tiny one, since she is only 5 months old, but most of the time her clothing is on correctly.

I think I'd feel the same way, everyone that's written about this program has mentioned you need to be very specific about what your kid likes. Well my kid likes to be naked so that doesn't help much. :) But it'd sure be fun to try!

OK, I technically don't have a child yet, because I'm technically 9 days overdue, but in 7 days when you choose a winner I will have a baby girl! Plus, my luck has got to be somewhere right, because it isn't with the whole going into labor thing, so maybe my luck is going to let me win things online. I can only hope!

If I win can I gift it to my sister-in-law due any day now with a baby girl? Not that I'll win, since I win nothing. I agree about the profiles, I obsess about my answers and eventually end up with a profile that suggests every thing I'd never wear and I give up. It's too limiting, the profiles, if I can't have ALL the choices, do not limit me.

This is my first comment. The idea of style profiles for my children intrigued me just that much. Also, I am impressed by the fact that your boys are wearing hats. Mine refuse to keep them on, and also go nuts when I sunscreen their faces and heads to no end as a result.

I have five nieces, but only two fit into the specified size range. The 14 month old has no opinion yet on clothing, but the five year old is gypsy chic all the way. If you put her in something sweet, she's all "can I wear my leopard leggins under this?" or "can I wear my Halloween wig, too?" She inherited the gypsy instinct from my sister. I'm sure she'd love a new box of clothes to mix and match :-)

Hooray for free clothes! I hope I win something that FITS my very tall, very skinny two year old. Seriously, I need a 9 month waist with 3T length. I should probably learn to sew instead of reading blogs...

Monkey Shirt -- too cute! OK, truth be told, I don't have any munchkins of my own but a bestest friend is now gramma to TWO (2!) little ones and they go through clothes like the Kardashians. . .but, you know, with less vapidity

Never win at anything here either but what the heck, the child is a giant and seems to love dinosaurs, trains and socks to bed even when it's 100 bazillion degrees out and DON'T ARGUE WITH ME WOMAN, PUTS THE SOCKS ON THE FEETS!
Ahem.
And love the description of Ezra; seems to be most toddler boys!

I have a 19 month old grandson who's currently into dinosaurs and dirt. OK, and boats and water and cars and "Yo Gabba Gabba" (last time I knew, anyway). No real preferences wrt clothes yet, but he looks cute in everything.

Those personalized style quizzes are more like "Which Kardashian are you?" To which I wonder, "There's a difference?" For this t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops wearing girl, none of the results are ever appropriate. Also, why can't you just browse their stock? It's like they don't want to sell the things. Though, I'm encouraged to hear this one has so far worked out for Ezra.

I never win anything either! Oh, except once when I won a "second place" prize and got a $15 gift certificate for a website that I would never order anything from (their lowest priced item was $50). It was very very sad.

I never win anything either! Oh, except once when I won a "second place" prize and got a $15 gift certificate for a website that I would never order anything from (their lowest priced item was $50). It was very very sad.

Pick me, pick me! My son is growing out of all his 12-16 month clothes (possibly because he's now 17 months) and apparently that was the cut off age for all the non-newborn stuff we got as baby shower gifts so, so, so, he needs more clothes! Thaank you!

Ooh!! Free clothes!! I have no experience whatsoever with picking out clothes for a baby girl, yet I'm faced with exactly that situation as we speak. I'd love to get a chance to do this for her, since she's otherwise getting a TON of hand-me-downs and not much new.

Seems like a dream come true since my unborn child doesn't have any clothes because A) there are no gender neutral outfits out there and B) the baby stores give me Hive-y anxiety when I walk into them.

For one of my kids, all of the answers will be "whatever is on top of the pile of clothes." The other one spends a good 20 minutes picking out his shirt each day, though, so this could be intriguing for him.

For one of my kids, all of the answers will be "whatever is on top of the pile of clothes." The other one spends a good 20 minutes picking out his shirt each day, though, so this could be intriguing for him.

I am so sad about the PajamaJeans failure. I have a pair of PajamaJeans-esque pants that I bought from Athleta a few years ago that I love (they look like jeans, but on the inside, they feel like the softest-ever sweatpants!!!). However, they certainly don't fit me now that I'm pregnant, and I'm anticipating an explosion of hormone-fueled tears this fall when the weather cools down and I optimistically try them on postpartum!