There was passionate reader response to my recent column about the decision not to file charges against men who were suspected of raping a teenage girl at a March house party attended by De Anza College baseball players, a party that began with drinking games and ended with the girl being found semiconscious and half-naked on a bed.

Given the lack of evidence, including Santa Clara County District Attorney Dolores Carr’s disclosure that the girl could not remember anything that happened soon after she arrived at the party, it would have been difficult if not impossible to prove the case in court. As I said in the column, this case is a prime example of the limits of the law and why acquaintance-rape cases so often never go to trial.

No satisfactory answers

But the story of what three young women from De Anza found when they walked in on what they believe had been the rape of the 17-year-old is also a frightening illustration that just because a crime can’t be prosecuted doesn’t necessarily mean one wasn’t committed. That leaves many of us looking for justice and satisfactory answers where there aren’t any.

Several readers wrote to tell their stories about the acquaintance-rape of a family member, cases which weren’t prosecuted or had disappointing outcomes. One San Jose woman, who asked that I not use her name, said her 14-year-old daughter’s ordeal in court was so traumatic that she didn’t feel the rapist’s 18-month sentence was real justice.

“Would I ever suggest that a rape be reported?” the woman wrote. “Probably not. My daughter still remembers the indignities that she had to endure, and I wouldn’t want any girl to have to go through that.”

Joanne Loomba of Cupertino echoed the frustrations of many about the vagaries of the legal system and what is consensual sex: “Regarding the De Anza assault case, the circumstances in which the three rescuers found a young woman plus the fact that she has no memory of anything from shortly after she arrived at the party, compel the conclusion that this was not consensual sex.”

Difficult cases

Many readers questioned why statutory rape charges could not be filed since the girl in the De Anza case was only 17. But, as Stanford Law School professor Robert Weisberg explained, these charges also can be very difficult to prove in a case where excessive drinking muddles not only memories and the issue of consent but also whether the men knew the girl’s age or had reason to know.

The groups who staged a demonstration last week outside the district attorney’s office, protesting the decision not to file charges, would have done better to have it at the De Anza College baseball field. Better yet, they could have had a teach-in on campus about consensual sex, date-rape and how too much drinking confuses the two and often puts justice out of reach in a courtroom.

Fred Tombor, a former mental health therapist from Campbell, wrote in to criticize my column for sending a message that it may not be worth reporting acquaintance-rape because the cases are so difficult to prove. He said, “The victim empowers herself through the reporting process and sends a message full of hope to the only person that matters, herself.”

For the record, I think Tombor is right. But the De Anza case still should be a reminder to every woman who starts drinking heavily at a party, especially with people she barely knows, that she may not realize what she’s up against – and she may not be protected, even after the party’s over.

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