decoding dream

We’ve all had that dream. The naked Nordic warrior princess, the ex-girlfriend, the woman with no face. Sexual dreams are part of living with testicles for men.

But guess what? These nighttime forays into fantasyland might mean a lot more psychologically than you’re giving them credit for.

Dreams are your mind’s way of exploring ideas, desires and fears that are too abstract, too disturbing or too overwhelming to think about during waking existence. And erotic dreams need not involve you in the hot tub with the Playboy bunnies. They can be symbolic references that make statements about your emotional and erotic states without being graphic.

The purpose of these dreams is to mentally act out fantasy thoughts so you’re not repressing them any longer. It’s extremely healthy, and necessary. It’s like your mind emptying out the trash.

While dream analysis is highly subjective and can only be done accurately by a licensed psychotherapist who counsels you on a regular basis, there are a few common symbolic threads in dreams that most everyone agrees on.

But who needs professional help when you got an article on the Internet to guide you, right?

Here’s what the most common erotic dreams mean:

The woman with no face
In this scenario you dream of sex with an anonymous, faceless woman. She’s perfectly sexy, smart, responsive, intuitive, sensitive, and familiar. But, no matter how hard you try, you cannot make out any of her features or her identity.

What it means : One meaning of this dream is simple. You desire uncomplicated sex in its most animalistic form. Essentially, your subconscious wants to use women for sex without any concern for their emotions or their identity.

Another explanation comes from the famed psychologist Carl Jung who says that dreams of a perfect faceless partner are your mind’s way of telling you to embark on a journey of self-improvement. The faceless partner, he says, is really you, and the correct way to respond to this dream is by developing qualities in yourself that this “blank” partner possesses.

The surprise return of your ex
This dream finds you in bed with an old flame – which might be rather shocking. But fear not, this oftentimes means not that you miss your old girlfriend, but that you’re actually trying to rid them from your psyche.

What it means : For instance, if you recently met someone new, it might be your way of mentally preparing yourself for a new emotional attachment. By dreaming of your ex, your mind is trying to close the book on her.

The people appearing in your dreams represent a certain aspect of yourself. So this dream is telling you how you relate to whatever qualities your old girlfriend represents. Ask yourself how you would describe her to someone who has never met her. Is she generous, angry, or compassionate? Whatever the quality is, examine yourself and how you are relating to or using this quality in your life.

The disappearing partner
This is the dream where your partner vanishes right before or during sex.

What it means : Besides the overt meanings of fear of abandonment and frustration with unreliable partners, this dream can mean you aren’t feeling confident.

Hooking up with a coworker
In this familiar dream, you have sex with someone you work with, which is all fine and good when it’s the hot 21-year-old girl in your department. It might not be so grand if it’s the wrinkled 60-year-old secretary.

What it means : This dream is a sexual metaphor that might mean nothing more than that you enjoy the professional bond you share with your coworker. Though it might be hard to believe, it probably just means that you are comfortable with them.

Sex on display
You dream you are having sex in a public place with strangers watching.

What it means : This dream can point to a fear of sexual intimacy, or anxiety about being vulnerable or being caught off guard. For instance, having this dream after having talked your girlfriend into some exotic kind of kinky sex may signal that you feel guilty.

The dream may also be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Clothes being a metaphor for your public persona, the loss of them can mean a fear of others knowing who you really are.

The homosexual dream
Simply put, this dream involves having some type of sexual intercourse with another man.

What it means : The most common explanation for dreams where you have sex with another man is not that you want to switch teams, but that you want your female partner to act more “manly.” You see, some psychologists explain same-sex activity in dreamland as meaning that you desire your woman to display so-called “male” strength qualities like logic, reason or dominance.

So don’t worry about your sexuality. Experts also generally agree that if homoerotic dreams upset you, then you are probably not a homosexual.

You suffer from erectile dysfunction
You’re in the middle of getting it on, but simply can’t get it up, for whatever reason. This is similar to a very common paralysis dream where you find yourself unable to move – in this case, it’s a failure to coax your unit to perform.

What it means : Depending on the context, this might mean that you feel powerless or paralyzed in other areas of your life. For example, if you have this dream during a time that you’re looking for a new job or trying to get a promotion at work, it may signal your frustration with getting ahead in life.

Poor test performance
In this dream. you arrive for an ultra-important exam only to find that the test is written in a different language or that you can’t answer a single question. At some time in your life, you’ve probably dreamed of flunking a big test. This is one of the most common nightmares that can be caused not only by the SATs, but also by anxiety about one’s sexual prowess.

Here’s a great example of this type of dream with a sexually symbolic component : You’re taking the test, you know the answers but every time you try to fill in one of those little multiple choice bubbles – snap – your pencil breaks. I don’t need to tell you what the pencil symbolizes.

What it means : Many psychologists think these kinds of dreams are a natural response to the pressure of living up to expectations in the bedroom. The test is sex, or rather, sexual performance. And every guy is afraid of not passing the test with her between the sheets.

Penis falling off
Most men have this dream once or twice in their lives : You wake up one day and, inexplicably, your pecker’s gone. You don’t know what happened; it’s just missing in action.

What it means : This dream can signify your anxiety about losing vitality, power or your identity. Your penis is what defines you as a man. To lose it in a dream is simply your mind expressing a fear of becoming weak.

There’s another, more positive, reading on this dream too. Losing your penis might symbolize a desire to escape the responsibilities of adulthood and go back to being a kid. You know, the time when you made all your decisions with the big head.

Animal dreams
You dream of seeing a cheetah poised to strike on the African savannah or you dream you are a salmon struggling to swim upstream to mate. In these symbolic dreams, you either see an animal in the dream or you envision yourself as an animal.

What it means : Animals function compulsively through instinct. Unlike people, they don’t reason, they just do. Therefore, animals in dreams represent compulsive behavior or instinctive ways of thinking.

Animals are also often identified as representing pure human qualities, so in dreams they can be symbolic. For instance, dreaming of a cat lying around licking its paws can mean satisfaction with your sexual self.

A snake is generally accepted as a symbol for a penis. So if you dream you’re a snake handler, you’re really handling your penis. Horses in dreams are often a symbol of your perfect partner. So does dreaming of Seabiscuit mean you want a fast woman? Probably not. But it does mean you want her to be graceful and independent.

Visions of water & rain
You dream of gushing water, flowing rivers, a torrential downpour, or a calm ocean.

What it means : Dreams of water are said to mean that your libido needs some attention. In short, you’re hard-up for some action. The churning water represents your sex drive looking to escape like a spiraling whirlpool down the drain.

Another explanation is that flowing water represents another liquid – semen. It’s your sex drive popping in from your unconscious mind to remind you that it is still there wanting to be let out.

Food & drink
You dream of succulent peaches, steak, wine, and dessert, or whatever food you like or dislike.

What it means : Most psychologists agree that dreaming of drinking or eating is a nod to the desire to kiss or to perform oral sex. This is most likely an erotic dream where your mind equates sex with another base desire — consuming food. If you’re eating like a pig in the dream, this could mean an unrealized desire to be a womanizer and overdo it with women.

Physical structures
You dream of a tall building, a bridge or a tunnel. These objects may play a major role in the dream or they might just appear in the background.

What it means : Buildings, objects and other solid geometric forms are often accepted as symbols for reproductive parts. If you dream of rolling hills, those are breasts. If you dream of skyscrapers or the Washington monument, those are penises. If you have visions of a train going through a tunnel, that is sexual intercourse.

The context of the physical structure can tell you a lot about what the dream means. For example, if in your dream you’re admiring the Eiffel Tower, you might be happy with your penis size.

Erotic dreams are about more than sex. Most psychologists agree that dreams hold deep subconscious meaning, even if they don’t make sense to you when you wake up. But pay attention to them; it just might be your Id trying to tell you something about your sex life.

Maybe this isn’t a hard-and-fast rule to apply to every dream, but it’s a good mindset to start understanding them.

Abstract dreams can also be erotic. Just because a dream doesn’t involve sex, doesn’t mean it’s not about sex. Your brain has a tricky way of revealing your erotic desires in symbols and metaphors. This can be because thinking about sex makes you uncomfortable or maybe you just have strict morals.

Your unconscious desires are like the steam in a boiling pot : If they don’t get out one way, they’ll get out another. These dreams are just your brain’s way of relieving some of the pressure so you don’t explode.

Abstract dreams deal in symbols rather than actual sexual activity. These dreams might or might not be related to sex depending on what is going on in your life and how these dreams make you feel.

Many experts use two principles to understand dreams:
1- Every dream is about the dreamer.
2- Every person, place and thing in the dream represents the dreamer in some way.