So, Two Millionaire Candidates Walk Into a Greenwich Restaurant

At a corner table, in an expensive restaurant, somewhere in Greenwich, Republican heavyweights Tom Foley and Linda McMahon share a light lunch.

McMahon: What are you going to have, Tom?

Foley: Not sure, do they have crow?

McMahon: You gave it your best shot, Tom. At least you didn't self fund the second time.

Foley: Yeah, well, maybe I should have. What else am I going to do with all that money?

McMahon: I know how you feel. Did you ever see the WWE bit Vince did after my first loss where he comes out of a coma and finds out I spent $25 million running for the Senate?

Foley: That's pretty funny. How did he feel about the second $25 million?

McMahon: I'll let you know as soon as he comes out of this coma.

Foley: What do you think your biggest mistake was?

McMahon: I guess there were two. The first one is I probably should have boned up more.

Foley: I hear you, there. Issues are big with the media who don't seem to understand that we would have people to deal with all that policy stuff.

McMahon: They really don't get us. Look at all the grief you got over not paying any federal income taxes for a few years.

Foley: Oh, I know. It's like voters think people like us go to H&R Block to have 1040W forms filled out.

McMahon: Right, and then we sit around waiting around for the refund check to come in the mail.

Foley: So what was your other big mistake?

McMahon: That old WWE bit I was in where I kicked a guy in the groin. Cost me a lot of male votes.

Foley: Well, water under the bridge now.

McMahon: In retrospect, what is the one thing you would have done differently?

Foley: That's easy, after 2010 I would have moved to Waterbury.

McMahon: Check, please!

When the Cat's Away …

Rodent Awareness Week begins today and runs through next Saturday. I thought I should bring this to your attention because the annual migration of critters from the outdoors to the inside of your home is no doubt being accelerated by the polar vortex. Here are some indications that rodents may have already set up housekeeping:

Droppings: A trail of rodent droppings in such place as the kitchen cabinets and pantry. (Also, if you have housebroken mice, inexplicable flushing of the toilet during the night is another sign.)

Gnaw marks: Hint, sprinkling little soup bones around will usually solve this problem.

Burrows: Keep an eye on areas that are dark and secluded (like the bottom of your pocketbook).

Upside of Registrars' Flap

OK, Hartford's Registrars of Voters screwed up on Election Day preventing a number of people who had arrived at the polls early to cast their ballots. The upside of this is that it drew such widespread attention and outrage across the social and political spectrum. While we need to fix the system (I'd like to see running totals in real time on a gigantic scoreboard with fireworks and videos) we should be proud of our reaction. There are states in this country, which as a matter of public policy, go out of their way to keep people from voting.

Highway Driving Quirk Explained

Reasons why drivers on the highway don't use their signal lights to indicate they are changing lanes: