Traveling Man: Would You Like Some Snow With Your Snow?

(After you’ve read this, check out the great thing Zoe is doing for Merbear. If you can help out, even by just spreading the word, that would be fantastic!)

When last we left our intrepid idiot (and his much smarter wife, they had left the cold winter of Montreal for…well…the cold winter of Ottawa.

We took this trip without renting a car. We walked all over, and used public transportation when we needed it. To get from Montreal to Ottowa, we took a Greyhound. Not too expensive, free wifi, and plenty of legroom. I slept through the ride down grey bleary highways.
So how did I know we actually arrived in Ottawa when we disembarked? Because only the big city bus terminals have this in the mens room:

Would a smaller city have such nice accouterments?

Having established our location, it was time to get our winter on!
Actually, it was time for that whether we wanted it or not. On the cab ride from the bus depot to the hotel, the driver flew over slush and snow filled roads at normal driving speeds. I was terrified, but he was moving normally in traffic.

Like Montreal, Ottawa also celebrates the snow with its own Winter Festival. In a park across the street from us, there was a snow carving competition. Some of the entries were simply breathtaking.

Ice bowlers are HUGE in Canada!

Wheeee!!!!

Under The Reef.

This is my desktop background now.

Having gotten our bearings, we wandered over to Byward Market for lunch. The Market is a huge open air mall/flea market. Vendors sell prepared food, produce, trinkets, and there are street performers everywhere. We went into a seafood restaurant.
A couple getting up as we were leaving said they were headed home to Montreal (small world!) and gave us the rest of their gift card.

Because Canadians really are that nice.

The next day bloomed bright and sunny. After a quick breakfast (without Canadian bacon – because seriously, that isn’t bacon), we set out on the day’s adventures.
My wife had one thing on her mind. I had one thing on my mind.
Despite them being two different things, we were lucky that we could do them both in the same place: The Rideau Canal.
The Canal cuts through Ottawa, and is used these days mostly for pleasure boats. Except in winter when it freezes.
And is opened for Ice Skating!!!

Only graceful skaters in this pic.So no, not me.

We’d heard about this on a summer trip up to Ottawa to meet Charles DeLint, and it had been on our list ever since.
Check!
And something my wife discovered that she soon introduced me to – Beaver Tails!
These delicious flat, long pastries can only be described as…well…delicious. And sticky.
Grab as many napkins as you can, it still won’t be enough. But the mess will be worth it!

So simple. So delicious. So Canadian.

With that out of the way, we were off to the highlight of the trip – John Hiatt and Lyle Lovett on stage together!
The two of them have been doing this tour for years. 2 guys, 2 acoustic guitars. On several songs, they backed each other up, both singing and playing. In between songs, they told stories, explained the songs, even played with the audience a bit.

The pale blob on the right is John. The paler blob is Lyle.

We’ve seen them both separately and loved them, but together was even better. There were no revelations during the show or transcendental moments, but watching two old pros slip on their songs like comfortable old bathrobes was easily worth the ticket.

This is from a show they did at the end of last year, but it gives the feel of the show.
So after a long weekend of freezing cold, lots of snow, strange food and great music, it was tie to go home. Or so we thought.
Returning to the hotel after breakfast the next day to get to the airport hours early for an international flight, it turns out the flight was cancelled.
Because of snow.
In New York.

Yes, the hotel staff laughed at us.
But they also had room for us to stay the extra night, gave us the numbers we needed to call to find a flight for the next day, and told us where to go for an excellent dinner.
And then laughed at us some more.

So we caught a 6 am flight and landed back in NYC. I was at my desk my ten am, and asleep in my chair by two pm.
My boss let me go home at 4 pm.

And I went promptly to sleep, to dream of gravy, pastry, music and sooo much snow.

There they are! I’ve been waiting for those pics. They have the duel effect of both taking my breath away and making me feel like a talentless clod. Thanks Guap! That’s exactly what I’m looking for at this hour of the morning.

You’re 100% correct about Canadian bacon. That’s HAM, for fuck’s sake. Only bacon is bacon.

One can easily spot Lyle by his tremendous hair. Even in pale blob mode.

WOW ! What a great getaway… those sculptures are just amazing… ! =)
Sounds like you guys had a wonderful time, and after showing this post to my foxing, Ottawa is now on our vacation list. I am hoping to persuade her that it would be just as awesome in the warmer months… we shall see. =) Thanks for such a fun post to start out the day… !

You and I have talked about Mr. Lovett (the Lyle one) before, El G. It doesn’t matter to you if I confess…still in love with Lyle Lovett. I’d go to Canada or just about anywhere…excepting and maybe not Texas…which causes me to question my one sided commitment.
Thanks for sharing photos…almost like being there. Not really.

Excellent tour! Love the ice sculptures and the skating. Plus, the final picture with you lounging like a super model in front of two ice squirrels about to attack each other… the perfect ending for a great post (and perhaps day too long jaunt to Canada)!

Thank you for allowing me to live vicariously through you in all of your adventures. TMWGITU should take that stunning portrait of you for her background pic on her computer. Probably the only time she’s seen you sitting in one spot the whole vacation.

Oh Guapo, thank you so much for this wonderful laugh! I enjoyed practically every word of this blog, and not to mention, the photos and the video! You perfectly captured your experience for all of us, lucky enough to read your blog. Never heard of John Hiatt and Lyle Lovett (don’t follow that type of music, but I found them to be real “down home,” and they were so enjoyable (he was, anyway). You were lucky that you had only 1 day’s delay to come home. My friend lost 3 days of her vacation due to the bad weather, when she was scheduled to fly down from CT. I brought her to the airport yesterday, and her flight was delayed for 1 1/2 hrs due to – this is the truth – snow in New York!!! Hope you got caught up with your sleep.

One of my dreams is to ice skate in the canals in Ottawa – knowing my father did that in his youth – I love ice skating, there’s nothing like it – it feels so natural, like I could do anything! Well, except surf on ice skates – that would be hard.

Hmm…I don’t remember that one.
I think this is the only the 3rd pic I’ve used – there’s also one of me and my mom i posted when she passed away, and one of me doing performance art with rice and a pot.
Though that one was from behind.

Add a ponytail to this one, keep the goofy smile, don’t let me shave, and that’s exactly what I look like.
(Just need to get an action shot on a tandem bike now…)

You realize that it’s Americans who named “Canadian bacon”, right? In Canada we refer to it as Back Bacon or Peameal Bacon. Because bacon IS bacon. When we ask for bacon, we expect the same thing you expect. The term “Canadian bacon” is the bane of my existence. Thanks America.

What an incredible trip Guapo! Now I’m dying to go… it’s been years! I love the ice sculptures (especially “Whee!”)– all lit up they are magical!! And the people skating up the river… I grew up in Boston with those kinds of winters and miss them! I regret that my kids have never had the joy of skating on a local pond/stream… magic from my own childhood! Thanks for taking us along!

Guap, I love everything about this post! I am not sure what I love most, but in the running: that version of Here I Am (that’s Francine Reed from Atlanta, Georgia, right?), the ice sculptures (especially Wheeee!), the very nice Canadians (that has been our experience as well), the ice skating canal, the beavertail (!), or the pic of you in the gorgeous ice sofa. There are two words I never thought would be in the same sentence. 😉 Well done!!!

Oh god I’m filled with nostalgia! Did you know the majority of those ice carvings are made by cooks? True story.

Sounds like you stayed at the Lord Elgin. Nice digs! And the seafood on the market, did you go to the aptly named “Fish Market?” Or did you go to Lapointe’s (that’s my last name, but we’re not related).

I miss Ottawa. It really is a sweet little town. For a nation’s capital, there’s a shitload going on, and there’s always a festival happening. Sigh. I need to go back home for a visit.

p.s. my fave beavertail was the cheese and garlic one. So very yummy. Muy rico!

OMG – yes to Lyle Lovett! I had the pleasure of seeing him and John Hiatt last year in St. Louis. Such a great show! I got to meet him, too. What a class act. I really wanted to stroke his hair. But I didn’t.

1) Condoms, cologne, and breath mints all from one machine? That’s everything a gentleman needs!

2) The “ice bowling” that Canadians are so fond of is actually called curling. Every four years, in a city somewhere in the world, the rest of us get reintroduced to it for a short time. And when did you pose for that surfer ice sculpture?

3) The first time through, I skimmed your post and caught, “my wife… beaver tail… delicious and sticky… many napkins won’t be enough… the mess will be worth it!” I was wondering what kind of kinky stuff you kids had going on in the hotel room. Then I read more carefully and saw that you even involved a pastry. Scandalous!

I’m not a fan of crowds either, but my only concession to that is trying not to vacation during high season.
I’ve been to the west coast of the US, but never Canada. I’d like to make it up there one day. I hear the skiing is fantastic.

Oh what a fun trip! I can’t get over how many wonderful things there are to eat in Canada! And I hope that picture of you on that ice couch wasn’t where the laughing Canadians put you up for the third night! And those ice sculptures are amazing!!!!

As the 100th commenter, do I get a toaster? Or at the very least a chia pet? Speaking of Lyle Lovett’s hair…loved the clips! And “Here I Am” just happens to be one of my favorite Lyle tunes. Looks like you had a deservedly fabulous trip!! Happy weekend!

Every January, a hotel down in Florida hosts an indoor ice sculpture “park”, with all kinds of amazing statutes and displays. I remember going with my family when I was younger, because we actually had to go out and buy gloves/scarves/etc. I’m glad the weather relented and finally let you get back home!

Ice sculptures are always so fun and I love that the canal is turned into a skating rink although I’d never do it. I’m going to have to look up what a Beaver Tail is! And what better way to end the post than with a picture of you on an ice couch. 😉

What a carve up 🙂 I especially like the relaxing on the iced sofa right at the end of your posting, now that is what I call comfort, being a bit on the ghoulish side I mean 🙂 lol All you need now is a couple of Vampy sorts to give you a nice big… Beavertail Pastry 🙂 Wicked…

Dude, that is so awesome. I used to go across the river to pub in Hull, but then they shut all that down, so I spent so much time in the Byward Market. Public, middle and high school I spent in Ottawa; most of my family is still there. Glad you got the canal and the market and that you had a beaver tail, they are really yummy but horrifically bad for you.

Awesome that you guys liked the place. Ottawa is special, and not saying that only because I grew up there. It’s a beautiful, unique place, and even though it’s colder than sin during winter, it’s still great and has wondeful people (except for the politicians – they can suck it).