Reality of Gamer Girls

(FYI, this is primarily for the “RPG Gamers” … I don’t know loads about, like, Halo gamers. Because FPS is crap compared to Strategy and RPG games, IMO.)

Team chat erupts when you speak for the first time

And it’s usually a guy saying something about another boy spontaneously orgasming. Or it’s a guy spontaneously orgasming. (Probably not.) Or just shock that there’s an interloper joining the boys club. You never knew your voice was so damn amazing. Look, I hate holding to stereotypes. I hate implying that the guys who play games enough to be deemed a “gamers” are all virgins. They’re not. Some are just normal, chill guys who genuinely don’t care about gender. But those are not the vocal majority. The vocal ones are always the ones who are going to make a big deal of you being a female. Dude. Always.

Better have skills

Sometimes it’s a bit like the real world. You’ll have to work twice as hard to be as good as the others because otherwise you’re going to get the “She’s just a girl” comments. Or how you’re “really good… for a girl.” Maybe not outright or not right away. But eventually you’ll have some guy explain why boys are so much better at gaming than girls. Because clearly they’re conditioned to use computers, whereas women are conditioned to… I dunno make sandwiches? It’s just a billion times easier if you’re good enough that you don’t have to have that argument regularly.

But, please note, even if you’re amazing, you’ll still have this argument. Because some men just don’t like being worse at something than a girl.

It’s actually ok if you don’t have those skills

I’m absolute shit at FPS (First person shooters, for those who don’t know). In my hey day, I was still invited to play these games on an almost daily basis; and walked through missions where I could do nothing but walk along the other team members doing everything. I straight up told them I wasn’t really doing anything. They don’t give a shit. Apparently just having a vaginal tag-along is sometimes enough. I can’t count how many times in FPS games I’ve been the “moral support.” (It’s 100% of the time.)

Surprise dick pics.

No, but seriously. You give your contact info because you want picked up for an elite dungeon. Everyone else in the guild does it. You join the forums to plan for events or know what’s going on with the game. Except if you give some guys an inbox to send you pictures… you’re getting dick pics, Just a fact. And it’s annoying. And probably sexual harassment. (But also kinda hilarious. And never hot.)

Surprise gifts.

So, this is like… reverse sexism? I dunno. It’s a nice silver lining that still kinda makes you feel uncomfortable. Yeah, I am totally going to take the platinum off a trade if you offer it. But… why are you offering it? Do you do this with your boy gamer friends? No? Then I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re thanking me for my voice in team chat being fantasy fuel.

It totally does make me uncomfortable. I suffer through it though and have some pretty epic loot. *shrug*

The “types of boy gamers”

He loves girl gamers (creepers and not)

Yeah, I think you’ve got the point: boys like girls. Teen boys are pretty much fueled by their hormones and there are a lot of teen gamers. They like having the opposite sex pay attention to them and recognize their skills. We aren’t going to judge based on appearance and we’re not going to get away with being mean. Because you don’t last long being a bully in the gamer world. We’ve pretty much all had enough of that. So we pounce on them. It’s a nice kind of role reversal. (Sometimes.)

He hates girl gamers

Remember how I said there were chill guys who didn’t care if you were a girl? Well the fact that he is incredibly outnumbered by boys who go crazy for a girl means he’s probably going to learn to hate you. So, ya know, that sucks. Pretty much all my guy gamer friends I keep in touch with fit in this category. These are the guys that sometimes make douchey judgement like “You’re not a real gamer.”

He’s indifferent (normal subset aaaaand the surprise dick pics)

Oh, that’s so cool. It’s so nice to have a nice, normal bloke to chat with. I love not having to worry about whether or not I’m being judged because I’m a girl. And he makes me pull my own weight and treats me just like all the other guys on the– Oh, wait. There’s his dick… Nevermind.

The “types of girl gamers”

Those who do it for attention

I’ve known boys who pretend to be girls just to “game they system” (puns! Yay puns!!) But the real girls who still do it all for the attention? These are the ones I’m talking about here. She asks for free stuff on guild chat. She does ALL THE EMOTICONS. Especially the winky face. I think it’s a scientific fact that boys of a certain age lose their damned minds when they see a girl use a winky emoji.

This bitch does not care about the game. She just wants to dress her avatar pretty.

Those who have been screwed and are cold

They don’t join voice chat. They rage when you make a deal of them being a girl. Or anything. They’ll get a lot of “She’s on her period” excuses made for her. She’s not overly friendly and she pretty much keeps to herself. She’d rather play with one or two people and NPCs than a full team.

Worthy of note, though, this bitch is good.

Those who are new

This girl has not been tainted by the world of gaming. She has no idea that she can’t say anything that can turn into a dirty joke. she is shocked by any mention of sex. Because that shit is not normal. To her. Yet. She acts as if she’s in the real world. And a real person. She doesn’t know she’s just part of the entertainment for the guys. She actually doesn’t know what she’s doing in the game anyways, though.

This bitch is n00b. But there’s potential.

Those who are mostly boys.

If you hear “Are you sure you’re a girl?” This is probably you. She makes the “That’s what she said” joke before the boys. She’s kinda desperate to not be treated like a girl so you may feel a bit awkward with her overcompensation. Like, if she starts making period jokes about moody girls. She’s socially awkward and tries to make the best of it. But she’s still a weird chick.

This bitch has one thing she’s really good at, but don’t ask her to expand too much beyond it.

It’s only improving over time.

Just like pretty much everything, more and more women are getting involved and it’s not the sausage fest it used to be. For better or worse.

The Guild does a good job of going through the extremes. Aaaand sometimes they’re not that exaggerated, either.