Wednesday, 11 November 2015

People (mostly men) who can’t use the toilet properly

So due
to talking about toiletness in yesterdays blog I thought I would pick up where
we left off (sort of) and get it all out of our system (bad pun, I’m sorry).

Now
let me start this off my saying children, especially little boys are excused
for missing the bowl and pissing on the seat as long as they get an adult to
come and clean in up, it’s fine they will learn and eventually be that bit
taller that peeing will be made easier (or at least should be). However, there
are people among us that are either complete morons or just don’t give a shit
about other people (I fear that mostly it’s a bit or quite a lot of both of
these things). But grown men or any male 16 years and above who don’t lift the
seat up to pee are idiots. For one why? Its lazy to not lift the seat up and
takes no energy to do anyway so just fucking do it. And two, if you do for some
completely unknown and unjustifiable reason pee with the seat down, clean up
after yourself. No one wants to sit in your piss you disgusting shit head.

These
men really need to check themselves or at the very least sit down to piss. If
you can’t handle having a cock, piss like a little girl.

Now I am
a man before anyone thinks this is an estrogen/oestrogen
(unsure of the spelling and the internet didn’t help) fueled rant, and I have
missed the toilet bowl more than my fair share of times, either due to being drunk,
trying to piss with boner or the one time I got attacked by a wasp mid stream.
But here’s the thing, the magic secret that these toiletmissers don’t seem
to understand… I cleaned up after myself on every occasion. It took no more
than 2 minutes to clean up on any occasion, the longest clean up being the wasp
incident.

No excuses. Lift the seat, clean up after
yourself or piss like a girl. They are your options fucktards.