This podcast includes some occasional cursing. But compared to what you lived through in Season 5, it’s no big deal.

Welcome back to A STORM OF SPOILERS! Since we last spoke, George RR Martin has told us that Winds of Winter WAS going to come out before Season 6 (we were right!), but he didn’t finish it (we were wrong!). That doesn’t stop the author from teasing that his books are still relevant with some sort of twist involving a show-dead character. AND ABOUT THOSE “DEAD” CHARACTERS…Joanna, Neil and Da7e dig into their favorite speculations about Jon Snow and Lady Stoneheart while Neil holds out hope for the Dornish Plot and everyone debates where the final battle line for the “Great War” will be drawn: the Wall? The Riverlands? All the way to King’s Landing?

I haven’t heard the new podcast yet, but I’m sure it will be great. Positively wet, checking my pants for the chaos, not sure if it’s a pit or a ladder! Luv you guys. You are just making the life worth living.

With nothing but the bitter reality of consequences to war in Game of Thrones, I don’t think we have to worry about “an entire season of Helm’s Deeps” do we? I think the final season/s are everyone talking about doing that then panicking and going “shit, fuck, shit fuck” as their fantasy heroics fall them flat on their asses. Like Dany trying to control Mereen, which is already on the fast track to a sunk cost beyond saving. Everyone lauds Game of Thrones during its peak for being unpredictable, so do any of us really want three destined dragon riders swooping in at the last minute to save the day?

Even Mass Effect 3 had more nuance than that fantasy trope, with every faction trying to each other over to save themselves, that desperate to survive this unstoppable force. The only “Helm’s Deep” we’ve seen in the show, in the sense of uncomplicated morality, is S4E9… one of the weaker episodes, whichever way you slice it it was more divisive than Blackwater/Hardhome, both universally loved, one complicated by mutual support for both sides, one a horrific massacre, not a feel good epic fantasy fight. It feels more on point that instead of an endless battle to halt the advance of ice zombies each week, it’s an endless battle to find high ground and not get fucked over by the people still alive. That’s in itself kind of the trope of every zombie narrative ever, but it would still be a looooot more interesting to me, imho.

Side-note: was talking with a friend about the random, never mentioned again, Feast for Crows prologue, suspiciously in the same setting as that magical ancient book about Others Sam wants, something clicked, I freaked the fuck out and low and behold. Pretty compelling theory that the Faceless Men are aligned, knowingly or unknowingly, with the White Walkers OR their night god.