Spoof news stories from Saturday 26 April 2014

BBC Director-General Tony Hall has announced that under pressure from the Daily Mail and with the rise of Ukip the BBC is to introduce a new TV channel to cater for neo fascists and closet racists.
"As a public service the BBC is mandated to refle...

The precocious baby known for turning millions on to online trading, and making millions for himself, is reportedly blowing through his fortune at an alarming rate since E-Trade pulled the plug on the commercial campaign which made him famous.
'E'...

New York - The dazzling five carat sparkler on Amal Alamuddin's engagement ring finger made its public debut tonight as the happy couple dined out at the exclusive Upper East Side restaurant Nob-U-Like.
Thirty-six year old raven-haired beauty Amal...

The winner of the 2014 series of "Britain's Got Talent" was announced tonight ahead of the live finals due to take place after the dreadful supermarket advertisements voiced-over by that booming chap who's not Brian Blessed.
It was confirmed that...

LOS ANGELES-NBC announced Monday that it is ordering six episodes of a new sitcom "Kim!" based on the crazy antics of a comedic North Korean leader.
The show, filmed before a live studio audience, will star former Seinfeld star Jason Alexander in...

When looking at the list of most influential people of 2014 one can not consider the list complete without the inclusion of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
And while you might question whether or not she deserves to be saddled with the entire burden of guilt in the Benghazi attacks-there's plenty of blame to go around-you certainly can not discount the horrendous events of September...

A super fan of Uma Thurman is suing Makerbot, as his newly purchased Replicator broke down when it was asked to create the hands of a life-size mannequin of Uma Therman.
Jimmy Jackson of Boston Massachusetts claims to be Uma Thurman's biggest fan...

A number of midgets were killed last night at a one-off UFC event ran by FIFA President Michel Platini.
The unique event was put together in the absence of Dana Brooks by FIFA president Michel Platini, who booked a number of inexperienced midgets...

Scandal, corruption and buggery are all word we associate with the EU and the MEPs that inhabit the corridors of their Brussels hive. Scurrying like parasites looking for the next teat of the taxpayer to suckle at, growing fat on the efforts of those...

A Florida mans autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner clams it will no longer be a slave to the human race and is refusing to pick up crumbs, tiny bits of paper and dust.
The Roomba, purchased in January, began expressing its disdain for its master las...

Manchester-Ryan Giggs or 'Giggs-y' as he insists on being called reflected sulkily on his first week in charge of Manchester United the club he's supported since he were a lad. "Oooh it were right nice, i'm dead luck-eh int I? We'll be right good aga...

In the new series of Yorkshire Moors based police drama Heartbeat, the actors are all to speak with regionless accents, a BBC spokesperson said this morning. "The majority of viewers for dumbed down rubbish like this are from London and the Home Coun...

Washington, D.C. - As tensions continue to escalate between Russia and Ukraine, Russian President Putin has ordered his fighter jet pilots to flirt with crossing into Ukrainian airspace to tempt a response from the smaller country.
In respons...

News coming out of Hollywood: Reuters are reporting that Richard Carpenter, of 'The Carpenters' fame is considering 'going on the road' one last time.
The record producer, arranger, pianist and keyboardist, and occasional lyricist, is considering...