The expense of spirits is a crying shame, So is the cost of wine. What bard today Can live like old Khayyam? It's not the same-- A loaf and Thou and Tesco's Beaujolais. I had this bird called Sharon. Fond of gin-- Could knock back six or seven. At the price I paid a high wage for each hour of sin And that was why I only had her twice. Then there was Tracy, who drank rum and Coke. So beautiful I didn't mind at first But love grows colder. Now some other bloke Is subsidizing Tracy and her thirst. I need a woman, honest and sincere, Who'll come across on half a pint of beer.