Special “Whistleblower Hanukkah Limerick Contest” E-dition

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MONDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2019Best Illegitimate Impeachment EverTrump’s 1,067th Day In Office

Hanukkah Harry Came Last Night

This week, everybody who says if Hanukkah Harry can come for eight straight nights, he must really be on Viagra, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is Sammy Schlepper, who says if you’re looking for something you would really like during the holidays, you should call Hanukkah Lewinsky, or just watch the Porn Channel on TV.

Sammy wins a big plate of greasy potato pancakes, just like Aunt Sophie used to make so he shouldn’t go hungry, but he shouldn’t eat till he plotzes; a gift certificate from Toys for Goys so he get some presents for the kiddalas, and a Yiddish dictionary so he can understand all the really funny words in a Mel Brooks movie. His winning limerick is:

The worst part of a Hanukkah rhymeIs that you’re competing with other holiday time.Kwanzaa, Ramadan, and othersAre favorites for all of da brothersAnd if you ain’t inclusive, it’s a crime.

From Atheists in Amberley:The Worst Part of a Hanukkah rhymeIs you really haven’t the timeThough it’s eight days and nightsAll you can think of is bitesOf potato latkes sublime.

The worst part of a Hanukkah rhyme,To create a poem so sublime;Is not being Jewish,Or having a wife who is shrewish,But finding a word that rhymes with dreidel.

The worst part of a Hanukkah rhyme,It is such a long hill to climbWhether serious or funnyChristmas cards make the moneyA Chanukah verse ain’t worth a dime.

From Agnostics in Addyston:The worst part of a Hanukkah rhymeIs that it comes so close to Christmas timeIs it Christmas tree or Menorah?Can’t do both because I’m poor-ah.But at least I can say Merry Chrismas and l’chaim!

The worst part of a Hannukah rhymeIt’s recited at Gentile’s Christmas time!The two are confusing(Though admittedly amusing)Do we say “Ho, Ho, Ho”, or “L’Chaim?”

And from the Anderson Laureate we have this Hallmark Reject:The worst part of a Hanukkah rhymeIs Hanukkah’s too close to Kwanzaa timeIt’s so hard to chooseBetween blacks and JewsSo I’ll just say “Yo, wassup” and “L’chaim”

Rhyming a poem can be toughSo be sure you try hard enoughIf you still cannot do itDon’t give up and say screw itAdam Sandler can write one off the cuff.

He wrote a song for HanukkahAnd rhymed it with “gin-and-tonic-ah”In his song he gave cluesAbout people who were JewsAnd he finished it up with mara-juanic-ah