The Miracle of Self-Love: The Secret Key to Open All Doorsby Barbel Mohr

Bestselling author Barbel Mohr is the creator of the Cosmic Ordering technique and author of the original book which introduced to the world this powerful way to tune into the universe and manifest all the things that you truly desire. In her final book, The Miracle of Self-Love, she goes one step further and explains that love, friendship or wealth can only become a permanent fixture in your life once you have first learned to truly love yourself. After years of experience working with seminar participants, it was clear to Barbel that the universe can only work its magic if we are feeling love and appreciation for ourselves, as well as for others. With numerous practical tools, including self-love mantras and visualization exercises, this book teaches you how to cultivate a fundamentally positive and loving relationship with yourself so that you can know the miracle of self love, and the abundance of joy that it will bring to your life.

EXCERPT

Better Relationships Thanks to Loving Yourself

Loving yourself is the foundation for a happy life – and not only because of your inner happiness. Your external happiness is also heavily dependent on it. For a long time, the idea that a person emits vibrations was dismissed as esoteric frippery. Then neuroscientists such as Joachim Bauer discovered mirror neurons. These prove that we can feel the emotions of those around us. If, for example, the centre for emotional pain is activated within me, it activates the mirror neurons of every person I come into contact with. Something within the other person detects how I feel and whether I love myself or not. And then it doesn’t matter whether I am looking for new friends, a new partner, a new job, or trying to make a good impression on a potential landlord. The more self-love I send out, the better my chances will be. A person who loves themselves radiates much more clearly who they actually are. The effect is more authentic and attracts people who really suit them. Of course, it is possible that it will beam a few people away, who come from a completely different emotional star. But seen in the long run, this is far more of a blessing than a curse.

Just imagine that you are trying to find your dream apartment: beautiful, bright, quiet, with a garden and affordable. You find it, but 100 other people come to the viewing as well. Each one of them wants the apartment. What now? The landlord is undecided. Who should he pick from such a choice? He welcomes each one with a handshake and most of the prospective tenants probably send out the message: ‘Oh well, it would be fantastic, but I can already see that my chances are low…’ Then you come along (having worked your way through this book) and send out a very different message: ‘What a wonderful apartment, this is exactly what I’d imagined. And because I love myself, I trust that life will love me, too. If I don’t get this apartment, then I am sure to find one just as beautiful, or maybe even better, somewhere else. I am sure that life is on my side…’ (This is the typical approach of people with a healthy level of self-love.) You are cheerful and open for anything. The landlord shakes your hand and gives an involuntary sigh of relief – finally, someone radiating a relaxed attitude. And hey presto – you get the apartment. Unless, of course, there is someone else who has a stronger resonance with the landlord, who somehow feels even more suitable or maybe more familiar to him. But that can only mean that there is another apartment waiting for you, where you’ll be even more welcome in the neighbourhood, and where everything else will suit you much better as well.

Vibrations count

Landlords and bosses make choices – usually without consciously noticing – according to their emotions and first impressions. ‘Which person gives me the feeling that matches my expectations? Who do I feel attracted to?’ And: ‘What vibration is that person sending out?’ This last point plays a decisive role, and you can influence it. If you feel relaxed with yourself, then others will equally feel relaxed with you. Love yourself and others will find it easier to love you.

If you are often invited to job interviews but never get the job, you could take a little break from applying and first work on loving yourself. Let’s put it to the test. Just imagine that you are the boss of a company and you interview two applicants. Applicant A has the necessary qualifications, but radiates uncertainty and a large amount of self-doubt. How do you feel about the prospect of hiring her? Applicant B also has the necessary qualifications, but radiates optimism and a healthy level of self-love. How do you feel about the prospect of hiring her? When it comes down to it, it is this exact feeling the other person generates within us, which is decisive in accepting or rejecting the applicant.

It is, perhaps, most obvious in romantic relationships. If I radiate the fact that I am not worth loving, then I will find it hard to find someone who loves me. If I radiate that I am amazingly loveable, lots of people will feel attracted to me. So the period in which you are single is the perfect time for you to improve your love for yourself. You will only be able to find someone to be in a loving relationship with you if you are truly in touch with your own heart, if you open your heart first to yourself, and then to others. In addition, every relationship will improve if people in it love themselves. A person who loves themself is more ready to take on responsibility for themself, and not blame their partner for things that they often can’t do anything about. The lower your level of self-love, the more you are likely to view each free expression of your partner’s personality as offensive. This reminds me of a joke. She writes in her diary: ‘Dear diary, it’s all over, I am totally depressed, I am certain he doesn’t love me anymore. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since last night; he just looks right through me. I know he has met someone else, it’s all over, boohoohoo…’ He writes in his diary: ‘It’s all over. My football team has lost…’

This is a common occurrence. Someone who does not love themself is certain from the outset that everyone is against them. A person who loves themself is certain that they are worth loving. They are less likely to believe that the frustration the other person is feeling has anything to do with them. And, anyway, you have nothing to lose if you love yourself. So you simply ask, ‘Darling, what’s up? You look so down.’ A person who loves themself will ask this question in an interested, open and loving tone of voice and is most likely to get a proper answer. Someone who does not love themself will automatically tend to ask this same question with an affronted, mistrustful underlying tone and will receive a snotty answer from their partner, who is feeling depressed already. And the typical result? ‘I knew it! He doesn’t love me anymore!’

The following excerpt was taken from the book Miracle of Self-Love by Barbel Mohr and Manfred Mohr. It is published by Hay House (Available Nov.15, 2012) and available at all bookstores or online at: www.hayhouse.com.