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Thursday, December 27, 2012

It started Friday with my last day of school and Lani's Christmas party!

She was so excited to be "Santa's helper" and to give her classmates their presents

As usual we had to do some last minute shopping and a long wait in line to see Santa

She was such a big girl and told Santa she wanted playdoh, a Barbie house, and black boots! She was so excited to meet him! We waited in line for an hour and so she could be first in line to see him!!!
After that she was even more excited for Christmas to arrive!!!

So Christmas Eve we made cookies and set them out with a glass of milk for Santa. She wanted them in her room and in the den so Santa would leave presents under both trees!!! She also mentioned that Santa wanted EggNot (nog) too!!! So we had to leave that as well!!

So we set out the cookies, then drove around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights. When we returned home Lani had no interest in going to bed! But we reminded her that Santa only comes when you are sleeping! So we climbed into bed and watched Its a Wonderful Life!

After a little stalling, she fell asleep! We got up, put out the presents, and Santa aka Sean made sure the cookies, egg nog, and milk were all gone!

The next morning she woke up and sang happy birthday to Jesus! We said a prayer thanking Jesus for this special day, then went to check out the presents!

She opened a few presents then said she wasn't feeling well. After a few she started to cough and wheeze so we ended up hanging out in the shower and using her inhaler! She really wasn't in the mood to open more presents, so we chilled on the couch and watched the Christmas story as the rain poured out side.

A little later we face-timed with Uncle Ronnie, Aunt Paula, Aunt San and Cousin Brandy! they were able to watch Lani open the presents they sent, which was so fun! gotta love technology!

Soon after my parents arrived and we began to cook our Surf and Turf meal!

i was even able to put all those Lindor chocolates to good use with these white chocolate butter pecan cupcakes! thank you pinterest!!

My cousin GiGi made these awesome stuffed strawberries!!!

And to top it all off, it snowed!!! Although Lani, BB and I were the only ones willing to brave the weather

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The past couple of months has been a bit of a world wind for me. I had been pretty sick off and on, and just didn't feel right!
As a woman, you know your body, and know when something is wrong, so i made and appointment with Dr. B.

I explained her that my normally regular cycles were now totally out of whack.

a little history....
I have had crazy hormone levels since i was a kid, so i started taking meds pretty early to control them. My OB is also a hormone and weight loss specialist, so she has been my medical guru since i was about 14.

After I had Lani, we decided to try a Mirena IUD, since we knew we would want to wait a few years, before having kids again. Its a tiny implant that lasts up to 5 years, and i could have it implanted at my 6 weeks check up.

Dr B shared all the pros and cons of switching, and we decided this would be a great fit, and at first it was.

FAST FORWARD 2 years:

Everything had been going pretty well since Lani was born, but starting January things started getting a little crazy.

I became very irregular and being the over analyzer that i am, was totally freaking out.

In June my doctor decided to do a sonogram just to check things out. Turns out, while my IUD was in, it had shifted and was basically non functional. I had also developed a functional cyst right ovary.

Functional cysts often form at the end of ovulation or during very early pregnancy as a result of the hormones produced by the body. The Dr was able to tell that I was currently ovulating, and we would have to wait a few weeks to see if there was a pregnancy or if the cyst would shrink. (note: these cysts don't normally form when you are on birth control, meaning my IUD was probably inactive for a while).

For the next 2 weeks everything went well, the but starting the 3rd week, things changed. Suddenly I

had lost all forms of an appetite, became extremely bloated, gained 5 lbs, low grade fever and had a missed cycle. Now with Lani I had no early symptoms of pregnancy but a missed cycle, so this is where our minds went. However, I was still unaware that these are also the symptoms of a ruptured cyst.

Saturday evening I began to experience excruciating pain. I have to admit that i was heartbroken knowing that if I was pregnant this was the end of it. So I took some pain medicine and decided to lay down and rest. I knew i had a follow up drs appointment on Tuesday, and would wait until then to go to the Dr.

After seeing the dr, doing blood work, and a new sono, it was verified that i had a ruptured cyst.

With that said, I began to research Mirena failures. i was amazed by the number of people who experienced similar issues. And after talking to friends and family, found 5 people that had similar

experiances.

I will never use a Mirena IUD again, and i suggest you research Mirena Failure, before you do too

Friday, July 20, 2012

1} What do you call them- flip flops, sandals, thongs, or slippers?ummm i think its an even mix between flip-flops and sandals

2} Are you a "my kids can do no wrong" kind of mom or a "Johnny punched you? Well what did you do to him first?!" kind of mom? Totally what did you do first kind of mom... maybe its the teacher in me, or just the fact that VS is kind of a drama queen/terrorist so its highly likely she did something first

3} Would you confront a good friend that looked/looks down on your husband/significant other?most definitely. everyone is entitled to their opinions but there is a way to do things

Monday, July 2, 2012

I've received a lot of feedback regarding my honesty and openess in my blogs. Some people think its TMI, while others find it helpful to themselves.

Quite honestly journaling has alway been a part of my life, and to me blogging is like the 2000's version of writing in a diary. i often reread old posts and reflect on them, or think of how my views have changed since then.

But if you know me, then you know that I'm a pretty open person. I've discussed my issues with my marriage; My fears about pregnancy and motherhood; My own internal struggles, whether it be weight loss, depression/anxiety, or even self esteem. Infact I tend to talk too much, which is something that I am working on.

Verbalizing and writing is HOW I COPE. Infact its alot more about me processesing my thoughts by hearing them outloud or rereading them, than it is about receiving feedback. And while i do read the feedback and appreciate it, that is not my purpose here.

My thought is, I often feel like i'm the only one going through trials and everyone else's life is perfec; its part of that daily internal struggle of why me vs. why not me? So if I feel that way, maybe someone else does too.

SN:Honestly, there have been quiet a few blogs that i never published, because they were just too personal

It’s been
a little over a year since we separated and I have to admit that I thought
things would be different. I assumed we would be in a better place. I figured
we would be living together again, and back on track to our fairytale life that
I thought would happen. Over the last few weeks I've been reflecting a lot on
the path our lives have taken.

I started
to read some of my old blog posts, and reflect on different quotes, emails,
readings, etc. that either I found or people sent me. A lot of the readings
were about staying strong, and having faith, being prayerful. While others were
about cutting ties, moving on, and so forth...

However,
this Bible verse has appeared frequently over the last year

Mark 11:22-24~ New King James Version (NKJV)

22 So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have
faith in God. 23 For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this
mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his
heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have
whatever he says. 24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask
when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

So day
after day I prayed and prayed for my marriage to be restored. I prayed that
things would be better and that my family would be complete again.

Yesterday
morning I was watching Joel Osteen, as I often do and I felt like his message was meant
for me. His sermon was on showing honor, in life leads to
reward and success. Joel compared life to a bucket, blessing to water,
negativity being holes, and honor being the plug.

As long as
there is disrespect, jealousy, and negativity, your blessing will continue to
drain, and out. But if you replace the negativity with honor, the blessings
will rise up. And our bucket will be overflowing.

So I
started to think about how I could replace the negativity in my life honor.
What did I personally need to do, to insure that my bucket runneth over??? How
could I be more cognizant of my actions, words, and thoughts???

I woke up
super early this morning and decided to sit on the porch and water my grass. It
was a beautiful breeze blowing, and it felt so calming, in light of the stress
and heartache I was feeling about my life. As I was sitting on the porch thinking
and talking to God, as my Granna used to say, it dawned on me that maybe there
is a reason my prayers haven’t been answered.

Maybe I've
been praying for the wrong thing.

So I began
to read about unanswered prayers, and remembered a church sermon about praying
for our will verses God's will.

1 John 5:14-15 “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him,
that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that
He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we to
have asked of Him.”

So I began
to research unanswered prayers and found a
list of reasons prays go unanswered. Some of them stood out to me
more than others...

Friday, June 29, 2012

Depending on how long you've known me, or how long its been since you've seen me, you might know me with two very diffrent body structures.

if you met me in highschool i looked like this (105lbs)...

if you met me in college i looked like this (110-120)...

if you met me when i began teaching, I looked like this (130ish)...

when i got married (130-140)...

pregnant (150-190)....

post baby (160)...

my heaviest (180)

start of seporation (165lbs)....

and now (170)....

(sorry for the crazy pic size, blogger wouldnt let me adjust them)

so as you can see i've gone through quite some changes over the years....

So what happened...

well i grew up super active. i played softball, did cheerleading, and competive dance team, and ate what ever the hell i wanted (excuse my french) .

My freshman year of college i tore my ACL. I was on cruches for a year, then had surgery and lost even more weight, and while i couldn't dance like i used to, i was still hiking across campus daily.

after i graduated, i moved back home with my parents and thanks to my super healthy and fit mom, i was still exercising pretty regulary.

However, when i moved out on my own, i got lazy, and still ate the same way. So 6 years later I found myself 50 pounds heavier, and at my heighest nonpregnancy weight of 180 (sadly my pregnancy weight wasnt much higher). I lost 20 lbs pretty quickly last year, with the help of my friends at work, exercise, my mom, sparkpeople.com , and the start of my seporation.

But that didnt last long. I began coaching again, to make extra money while we were seporated, and due to a hectic schedule found my self constantly eating fast food, and never working out, and soon gained 10 lbs back. where i am now. 170lbs and not liking the weight.

So I met with my doctor and we came up with a weightloss plan.

I hope to track my weightloss over the next few months.

I'm sure there will be plenty of highs and lows, and i will need all the support i can get.

My goal is to loose 30-40 lbs. I will be exercising, eating more healthy, and taking a prescribed medicine from my doctor.

I will have monthly check-ins with my doctor, to weigh in, take measurements, and have an EKG.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

It couldn't have been that long ago that i was cuddling with my adorable newborn.

So what can i tell you about Miss Langston

In the last month, we have been all about princess, chipmunks, and spider man. Every night before bed we have to watch "Nini Princess" which is either Beauty and the Beast or Princess Frog.

She Know Toby Maguire from a mile away and kio09nstantly hits the spider man pose!!!

She loves horses and animal, and occasionally (at least once a day) pretends she's a puppy dog. I was a bit relieved when i picked her up from school today and they were all pretending to be puppy dogs.

She had her first round of strep again since having her tonsils removed, and is no longer on allergy medicine!!!! This is by far the biggest deal for me.

As you all know i was super nervous about her surgery, but am quite sure now, that this was all for the best. We still give her allergy medicine, when she is going to be outside for long periods of time, but no more AM, PM, meds, and asthma meds, breathing treatements, inhailers, vaporizers.

So what can Miss Langston do:~She knows her letters and colors~can count to 15 with out help, and 20 with help~ She loves to sing songs, especially the monkey song, itsy bitsy spider, i caught a baby bumble bee...

(here is a video from her mothers day program at school and one of her singing happy bday to her God Father Amir "Amirror")

~Love to say "No I Big Girl". in fact these words may be the death of me!!! Any time you try to help her do anything, she screams it. While i love that she is becoming more independent, it has added about 15 minutes to our morning routine.

~V.S. has decided to revamp her role for the summer. She is going for a little more drama and tears this time around. Temper tantrums kick in at the most random moments. the most common melt downs are because she didnt get to buckle her seat belt, or turn off the tv. We also have them when someone "finds" something that wasnt hidden, and it was her turn. We hear "My turn" usually right after "I big girl"

~ She loves her dogs and will sit in the window watching them forever. Poor things is they are inside, she is hugging them so tight that it looks like they are in headlocks

~She is back to taking baths again, but prefers showers. ~She is constantly saying something is yucky~ Loves Loves Loves Miss Lien, and wants to get her nails painted every day if she could. She is constantly walking around showing people her nails~She loves pretty dresses and carrying her purse around. She also puts on her sun glasses the minute we get in the car~she has a leap frog learning pad that she calls her Ipad

1. Are you a napper?i am a total napper!! In fact when VS takes a nap, i'm usually asleep right next to her, and probably a few minutes before her. The hubs will also tell you i'm a movie napper so don't expect me to watch it all the way through!!!2. What was your favorite subject in school? Most hated?I actually loved history in school. my student always assume it was science, but that just always came easy to me. i think the sociology side was what i loved most. im fascinated by other people and cultures. Least Fav~ AP ENGLISH!!! i still have my "I survived Ms. Whitts Class" shirt, because believe me I barely survived 3. Did you have the something old new borrowed and blue at your wedding? What were they?

Something old~ my pearl earrings that my God mother gave me for high school graduation. she never had a daughter, so she passed them down to me New~ my wedding dress Borrowed~ My mother's pearl necklaceBlue~ My grandmother's hanky, which i forgot at the hotel and had a full on panic attack when no one could find it. luckily one of my bridesmaids reminded me that i had blue underwear to. 4. What one thing are you determined to do this summerGet my mommy know knows blog really running and get Lani started in dance classes 5. Ice cream or Popsicles?

UMMMMM ICE CREAM!!! DUH!!!! i could seriously eat it every day all day. any dessert for that matter. part of the reason i haven't quite lost all the baby weight

Friday, May 4, 2012

As a mother of a very sickly child I have had my fair share of medical issues and quite a few had simple cures as well.
Im contemplating startiing a new mommy survival blog, where i would post about various products, illness and home remedies when possible. do you think people would be intrested?!?!?

As many of you know 5QF is favorrite link up of mine!!! It always has great questions, and brings back awesome memories. if you've never tried it, its a great way to join the blog community

1. What did you wear to prom? Include a picture if possible.
Wow my dress was this baby blue corset dress. not totally princess style but definitely super girly. My Godmother bought it for me at Macys and thy didnt have my size (crazy i was a size 2 then) so they had to special order it frm south carolina
2. Would you rather be on the biggest loser or a food eating challenge?
biggest loser. those people are truly amazing!!
3. fave sonic drink? Refreshing summer drink?
A raspberry sweet tea, light ice! Summer~ MiCocina Mambo Taxi (ok but thats really year round)
4. What was your first car, and what did you call it?
a 2000 gold Galant. her name was Goldie! loved that car! it had a sunroof, woo grain, 6 disc changer, and the bomb system. you couldnt tell m nothing
5. What's one thing your child or spouse does that sends you over the edge?
my spouse~ being late or procrastinating! he never arrives anywhere when he is supposed to. he constantly waits to the last minute then we have to rush. i am one of those super timely people whoo believes in the 5 minute rule! whenever im right on time i feel late

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the widow

The Widow

Ashley is a mother, a widow, a teacher, a photographer, a starbucks drinker, and a blogger! A sale shopper and loves a mani pedi any day of the week. Addicted to accessories and dollar bin shopping @ target. Loves a spring afternoon on a patio with a margarita or glass of wine.

the kid

The Kid...

Langston, affectionately known as L , already has a personality of her own. She is a brown eyed, makeup loving, soon to be 6 year old diva, that knows what she wants and may scream until she gets it (or guilt trip you into it lol).

She is wise beyond her years, and teaches me something new everyday.

She makes me want to be abetter woman and mother each and every day.

She has a smile that warms your heart and a frown that could melt it too. She is the center of our world and knows it!

The Angel

Sean was a father, a husband, a manager. A griller, a slim jim and meat eater, a poker player, basketball lover... ok a sports in general lover. Loved a massage and to be pampered (especially by the Ash.). A kareokee singer, a dancing machine, and a self proclaimed expert/the best at anything he did.