Did you know that just 120 miles up the road, they’re preparing for the biggest arts festival? In the whole world.

So it would seem a bit silly not to make a pact to visit the Edinburgh Fringe Festival some day, don’t you think? In fact, why not this year?

With that in mind, we thought it might me useful if we compiled an at-a-glance guide to what goes on in Edinburgh in August, as well as point you in the direction of some North East shows, which we’re sure would love your support.

WHAT IS THE FRINGE?

The Edinburgh Festival Fringe is the largest arts festival in the world and takes place every August for around three weeks in Scotland’s capital city.

Comedy, theatre. music, cabaret and variety, children’s shows, dance, musicals, opera, spoken work, exhibitions, street art and theatre... there really is nothing on the arts and entertainment spectrum which isn’t on show, in some form, somewhere across the 464 venues which wear a Fringe badge in August.

WHEN IS IT ON?

Official dates run from August 5 to August 29, but some shows are kicking off a couple of days early.

HOW CAN I GET THERE?

A person buying a train ticket

If you’re travelling from the North East, you basically have three options: train, car or bus.

By train

Of course there are decent rail links from Durham and Newcastle to Edinburgh - and the views as you go up the Northumberland coast are a total treat. I will say though, that the rail timetable is no friend to the day tripper. The last train back from Edinburgh always strikes me as ridiculously early, considering there are shows aplenty on until late. And then a bit later.

So if you’re planning to spend a day at the Fringe, and are using the train, get up there early so you can make the most of every minute. Also, make sure you don’t miss the last train!

By car

If you prefer to be master of your own timetable, then it might be wise to take the car. However there’s that old devil they call the single carriageway of the A1, which can ruin the best of days - either by throwing up a truck to get stuck behind, or by offering a surprise speeding fine in the post a few weeks after you return from your Fringe visit. Parking in Edinburgh city centre is also an expensive challenge, and of course you won’t be able to partake in the alcohol side of proceedings either. Not looking like such a good idea now, is it?

By bus

The Megabus and National Express are your two best bets when looking for buses to catch. They both operate services seven days a week and the journey takes three hours, each way. National Express have two departures a day Megabus have three.

WHERE TO STAY?

In short, wherever you can find which still has rooms left.

With thousands of shows and thousands more performers bringing them to the stage, I’m not going to lie to you, if you haven’t booked your room by now, you’re either going to struggle or you’re going to pay through the nose. If you’re taking a car, you might be better off staying a few miles outside the city to get a better deal.

Maybe now is the time to drop that old uni friend, who now has a flat on the city centre’s Princes Street, a WhatsApp message.

WHAT TO SEE?

Sarah Millican will be standing up with other comedians who contribute to her magazine, Standard Issue

The Fringe offers more than 3,000 things to see, do and get involved in throughout August. So there’s definitely going to be loads of stuff you can, and can’t get to.

Sometimes schedule clashes can bring tears of frustration - or at least the need for a stiff drink - and there’s also the issue of tickets selling out for better known acts - or shows which create a big fat buzz as soon as the first reviews come out.

Looking through the festival brochure can be a bit overwhelming, so why not start with some acts and shows you’ll definitely have an affinity with?

There will be a feast of comics, acts and productions flying the flag for the North East. Here’s just a tiny few of them.

Carl Hutchinson: The Fixer at The Stand Comedy Club 5 & 6 (venue 319), August 5-14 and 16-27

Read More

Fresh from supporting fellow North East comic Chris Ramsey, Carl Hutchinson tackles a bunch of little, everyday issues in his latest show. From people who obnoxiously post motivational quotes on social media to those who urge you to put your phone in rice when you get it wet.

The sharp and witty online magazine, founded by South Shields’ Queen of Comedy (certified by the British Comedy Awards), has been welcomed with open eyes and arms since it launched in 2014. By women and for women, Standard Issue counts truckloads of proper funny broads and friends.

So, it makes perfect sense that they’re bringing some of their faves to the festival stage, including founder Sarah Millican and Scottish treasure Susan Calman.

Gavin Webster

Gavin Webster: Jesus Christ’s a Window Cleaner Now at The Stand Comedy Club 2 (Venue 5) from August 4-14 and 16-28

Billed as ‘Gavin’s angriest hour yet’ he reckons at some point everyone ends up being a window cleaner. Even Jesus.

Lost Voice Guy: Disability for Dunces, Volume Two at The Stand Comedy Club 5 & 6 (Venue 319) from August 4-7; 9-14; 16-21; and 23-28

Award-winning comedian Lost Voice Guy started off in a disabled Steps tribute band. They were called Ramps. That didn’t work out though, so he’s answering more of your stupid questions instead.

Seymour Mace: Sh** Title at The Stand Comedy Club 2 (Venue 5), August 4-14 and 16-28

Probably best just to let Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee Seymour sell this to you: “here we go again. Not sure really. Maybe pretending I’m on a ship? Something out the window? And I’ve got a miniature Christmas village, can’t think what to do with that though. You’ve probably got more idea what I’ll be doing than me.”

Vladimir McTavish: Scotland In Sixty Minutes at The Stand Comedy Club 5 & 6, August 4-14 and 16-28

Vladimir McTavish turned 60 in 2016. For many, this is a time in life for sober reflection or for ticking off items from the bucket list. Instead, McTavish decided to take advantage of his free bus pass to embark on a three month tour of cities and small towns of Scotland, in search of the quirks that make up our nation’s psyche.

The result? An hour-long account of that trek from Gretna to Thurso and beyond in a quest to find the essential Scotland.

Comedian Lee Kyle

Lee Kyle: I Came Here to Burn This Place to the Ground and Build a Table... at The Stand Comedy Club 3 & 4 (Venue 12), August 4-14 and 16-20

Lee really wants you to come to his show. He’s promising to say all the funniest things he knows and then serve up a twist at the end. We’re in!

Northern Stage at Summerhall

Great to hear that Newcastle theatre company Northern Stage are once again taking up residence at the Fringe for the duration of the festival.

They’ll be setting up camp at Summerhall with a usual remit of showcasing some cracking theatre from the North of England. In all they’ll be producing eight plays: Equations for a Moving Body; People of the Eye; Sacre Blue; 600 People; Putting the Band Back Together; E15; Two Man Show; and Where Do All the Dead Pigeons Go?

WHAT TO TAKE WITH YOU:

Queen Elizabeth II (Image: Liverpool Echo)

An Umbrella/waterproof poncho

In case it rains. Which it will. Often just for 20 minutes at a time, but it will rain. It’s not nice to be sitting in wet clothes. And trying to fashion the hundreds of flyers you’ll be given as you pass through the streets of Edinburgh into a waterproof helmet will not work. Believe me.

A Fringe-specific street map

Even if you’re a regular visitor to Edinburgh, it would be impossible to know where to find the hundreds of venues which will be hosting shows throughout the Fringe. Honestly, you wouldn’t believe some of the nooks and crannies which have a stage crow-barred into them. There’s usually a pull out map of sorts in the official Fringe brochure, but the tourist office and all information points will have them too. It will become your security handkerchief.

Good walking shoes

Speaking as someone who went on two consecutive trips to the Fringe with nothing but flip flops to wear, I’m offering this advice from bitter, bruising and slippy experience.

When the beautiful streets of Edinburgh are wet - which is often, see above umbrella advice - they offer no place for flip flops. More than that in fact, they are a danger to life and limb. During my flip flop Fringe visits, I could regularly be found clinging onto the sides of buildings or pretending the constant upending of myself was part of an hilarious street theatre skit.

Aside from the dangers though, the hundreds of Fringe venues across the city are spread far and wide, so you may find yourself walking (or running if you challenge yourself on the show-scheduling front) miles in your search for entertainment. (With that in mind, don’t forget to pack your Fitbit either, you’ll clock up thousands of steps. Definitely enough to buy yourself a day on the sofa when you get back.)

A backpack/shoulder bag

You’ll need somewhere to store the many fliers, brochures and programmes you’ll pick up as you make your way around Scotland’s top dog city. It’s also a good idea to make sure there’s a bottle of water, some snacks and a change of socks in there. Puddles can catch you unawares when you’re reading a Fringe programme. While also map reading. And eating an impromptu burger. Which brings me on to...

A good appetite

Street food

There’s so much lovely street food to sample while you’re making your way from venue to venue. There are pop up stalls and bars all over the place. This is no time to watch what you eat. And besides, look at all the walking you’re doing! (see above)

An open mind

Often some of the best stuff you’ll see up at the Fringe is the stuff you wouldn’t have booked to see in a million years. There is literally loads of things on ALL OF THE TIME, so if someone passes you a flyer for a show which starts in 10 minutes, seven minutes away, put those good walking shoes to good use and give it a shot.*

You will have not heard of most of the people and companies performing at the Fringe. And many of them will be good, great or possibly brilliant. Meanwhile, the mostly reasonable ticket prices mean that it’s not the end of the world if you see something at the other end of the quality scale and have to chalk it up to experience.

* Full disclosure. The last time I did this, I found myself on stage, helping a magician with a card trick before I had time to take off my coat or sip my plastic glassed pint of shandy. But I did have fun. I still have no idea how he did that trick though.

WHAT IF I CAN’T GET THERE THIS YEAR?

Fear not, there’s a wealth of Fringe previews peppering the programmes of the North East’s comedy clubs and festivals, and because it’s so close to the Fringe kicking off, you’ll be seeing pretty much the finished article when it comes to the shows.