One TV has an NFL game on and the other has a Major League Baseball game and they both start at the same time.

Besides this being many sports fans' idea of hog heaven and even better than clicking back and forth between games with only one TV, it's fun to watch the differences between these two pro sports. Watching the NFL on TV is a weekly ritual; baseball is on every night of the week, but watching the two combined is almost as rewarding as joining a Cowboy cheerleader snuggle-fest.

And that's exactly what I did recently (not the snuggle-fest, but the two TV's thing). Here's what happened:

The football game started with a massive kick to the opposing team, and a line of 250-pound plus men with murder in their eyes started charging after the poor slob who caught the ball. After a few seconds he was crushed by his pursuers, becoming the bottom man in a very scary adult male pig-pile. MLB players tend to be a little mellower and less physical http://www.cowboysfanspro.com/Black-Tony-Dorsett-Cowboys-Jersey.html?cat=865 , but all pro players in any sport need to be strong. Football players take steroids, baseball players get caught.

Meanwhile, the MLB game started off a little less exciting. My heart rate and pulse began to slow down as I watched the catcher and pitcher play catch as the batter just stood there spitting and adjusting his crotch. I got quickly bored and turned back to the NFL game.

I glanced back at the MLB game for a couple of minutes. Two strikeouts and four fly outs came and went and we were already in the second inning, with little action to show for it. A baseball game is more of a wise-old-man kind of sport, where patience and number-crunching are paramount. It reveres serenity.

Football reveres mayhem. Watching football gets me angry and all charged up. Watching baseball makes me sleepy. In fact, I usually like to watch the first two or three innings http://www.cowboysfanspro.com/Black-Sean-Lee-Cowboys-Jersey.html?cat=873 , fall asleep, and then wake up to catch the last few innings. Watching football players hit each other full force and light each other up is exciting, and dozing is out of the question. Watching one grown man with ball in glove chase another grown man to tag him in a pickle is kind of funny.

As 10,000 commercials played on the football TV, I had a few minutes to catch up on my MLB game. Finally, in the bottom of the third http://www.cowboysfanspro.com/Black-Ronald-Leary-Cowboys-Jersey.html?cat=894 , a man hit the ball and dropped it in the right field gap for a single. All the baseball players, including the guy running up to first base, seemed quite pleasant. Why not be? They were playing in a nice park, on a nice warm and sunny day and no one had even broken a sweat yet. The batter reached first base and started chatting with the opposing team's first baseman. They started smiling and having a great time with each other. My lip-reading skills are not what they used to be but I think I saw one say to the other, "Hi Johnny! How's the wife doing? It's been a while since we saw her. We've got to get together sometime soon."

In the very next play a running back was nailed in a bone-splitting tackle. Indeed, his bone did split, and then protruded right out of his bloody skin causing a wave of nausea to spread over the crowd.

To replace the bone-sticking-out-of-his-leg guy in the NFL game, a bulky player with flowing dreadlocks sticking out of his helmet started lumbering onto the field. He had a huge cast on his arm that looked like a big club. With the hand totally encased, forming a big bulbous weapon, he shook it as his opponents in defiance while possibly struggling to stick one particular finger up, and then reluctantly joined the huddle.

It was nearing the halftime and so many timeouts had been called that they seemed to have run out of commercials to play. So the cameras started scanning the crowd. It was a lot colder where this game was being held http://www.cowboysfanspro.com/Black-Robert-Newhouse-Cowboys-Jersey.html?cat=911 , and I could see people's breath. I also saw a guy in shorts and no shirt who had painted his skin from head to toe in his NFL team's colors. His head was shaved and also painted, and he was wearing a big pig's nose on his face.

As I briefly scanned the crowd on the other TV, I saw lots of people in button down, short sleeve shirts, baseball caps and gloves on, waiting expectantly for that ever-elusive foul ball.

The first half started to wind down in the NFL game http://www.cowboysfanspro.com/Black-Rico-Gathers-Cowboys-Jersey.html?cat=919 , and I actively awaited gratuitous shots of hot cheerleaders. I was rewarded with lots of silly pompom waving and cleavage. I then happily turned back to the MLB game but only saw three heavy-set women shoving sausage dogs and peanuts in their mouths.

At halftime I got a chance to go to the bathroom and grab another cold beer and more snacks. There is never a big break in baseball, and every time I go to the bathroom while watching baseball I always miss the big play, which of course happened this time too. 锘? Writer GamersFirst publishe.