Saturday, May 3, 2008

like when she was little

Good morning, had to come on here today and share a little observation. My youngest (yikes!!!) is all of 16, almost 17 and attending her first prom. She is like a little bird hopping around, alighting here and there...finding just the right nail polish to match the perfectly pink, beautiful just right dress we found in Rockford last month. She was sure it was the one when we found it, but not so sure the little girl in her could handle the real believe young woman style she chose. I don't know how many times the dress has come out of the bag, to be tried on over and over again, don't know how many dreams are figured on such a Cinderella like garment. I only know she seems so grown up, so sweetly happy about dressing up...for real this time. When she was younger, as the older one's attended dances...getting ready in just this way- all flutter and fluff and "everyone please help!!!" and "where are my panty hose?!" and "is this how this thing is suppose to go?!"...Lily standing on the sidelines, all wide eyed and wanting so to be a part of their big day. I remember and have many pictures to show her make believe along side the celebrity of big brother and sister in their real duds...Lily going to her trunk and pulling out her dress-up clothes, showing up just as dates would arrive and pictures were being snapped- in her prom dress. A size 10 on a toddler like body- she'd have lip stick smeared on and pearls down to her belly button, wanting to be in the pictures- her big brother aghast at first, then always...pulling her in, next to his tuxedo'd waist and sharing the picture with his dressed up little dear of a sister.

Tonight- she'll take front stage, not in a snapshot this time, but in a real whole- night-center-of-attention way. Her make up perfect, no smeary lips...her eyes shining, her hair just right, pirouetting in front of the antique vanity in my room, with it's three sided mirrors...pink lady all aglow, just like when she was little. My camera is ready, my heart a bit achy that she'd be so ready to swirl and twirl, so grown up...and me wondering, where did the time go?

oh my God, she's picture perfect. this time i don't mind so that i came here late. because i didn't have to wait to see her all magnificent and frothy (hope she doesn't mind that adjective for that dress i would DIE to twirl in). you make me cry. your story and your memories, and the absolute unshakable truth that our little darlings do grow up......where oh where do the minutes and the hours and the weeks and months all go???? bless you. lil, hope it was as heavenly and perfect as you so divinely look.

oh my goodness, you have entered territory that i have once stepped into myself. in fact, i have written poems that speak directly to these issues...one about the prom dress...and one about time, and how it gets away. Here are the links:This is called: REMEMBER

AND, this is called: LAVENDER CARNATION (and it has, at the end, an overtone that wsn't intended as a reference to my daughter...it just made the poem interesting...so 'ignore' that part as it pertains to your daughter!!