Tag Archives: skins

2013 proved to be a lot more hectic than we anticipated, and we didn’t get to update as much as we would have liked to. However, Kolleen got a new laptop and completed grad school, and Letty got a tattoo and went to Mexico! So at least we accomplished something.

Anyway, our resolution is to get this blog back on track, which means new reviews on old shows, the return of My So Called Mondays, new contests, and a lot of pining over Cook, Craig, and I guess any other teen heart-throbs with a name that begins with “C”!

If you have any suggestions regarding shows you’d like us to tackle, let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

-Kolleen & Letty

P.S. Did anyone watch those weird Skins episodes, “Fire”, “Pure”, and “Rise”? We didn’t yet, and we feel…unsure.

All right, all right. It’s been a million years since we’ve posted and we promised that we’d have a new recap up on numerous occasions, but what can we say? We are lazy liars. SBT. It is cruel to have such a lengthy break between Degrassi recaps, especially when Craig is so damn close.

But never fear, my friends. We are back. I will finish up recapping episode 14 (a fairly wretched Sean ep.) and will have it for your snarking consumption by tomorrow evening. Also, word on the street is that Kolleen has a new Skins recap coming soon. PLUS, My So Called Mondays will be making a triumphant return.

Kolleen: my GOD you guys. I have been so busy with grad school lately, I haven’t had the time to review anything. I haven’t really had time to watch anything, either. I am woefully behind on Degrassi! Life is hard 😦

Anyway let’s get to this! As always, the episode’s music can be found here. And check out the Unseen Skins link at the bottom– I have gone back to our old reviews, too, to add in the Unseen Skins links that correspond to each episode. It wasn’t something I thought to do before, and I apologize!

We open with Jal practicing her clarinet. Or flute. What is it? I forget…It’s a clarinet. She’s playing with the school orchestra and her teacher is very colorful with her language, which cracks me up. Doug comes in and says there have been some complaints with the orchestra, that there’s too much swearing. Oh piss off, Doug. You’re a downer sometimes.

Ew, then we cut right into a scene where Tony and Michelle are sloppily making out in front of Jal and Effy. It’s gross. They sound like two pigs eating at a trough. Jal is upset because Michelle is ignoring their plans for shopping; Michelle wants to run upstairs for a quickie, but Jal needs a new dress for her upcoming music competiton, Young Musician of the Year! Effy eloquently demonstrates what will be happening upstairs:

Have at it, kiddos.

Jal goes to leave, but when she opens the door Sid is there. “Is Tony in?” he asks. “Pretty much,” Jal replies, as Michelle squeals from upstairs. Jal drags Sid along with her to dress- shop, which I’m sure he is very excited about. I get the feeling that Jal is not a girly girl, because she has a very difficult time finding something to wear. This is something I can identify with, as I feel like my style is pretty all over the place. Sid gets all awkward about helping her zip up, and Jal laments about having to wear a dress at all. Then Sid zippers his finger by mistake, and they make a bunch of sounds that seem like sex– “Oh, let me get a hold of it,” Jal says. SCANDALOUS. Later in the mall, he tells her a stupid sexual fantasy he has about Michelle. WHY?? I just don’t get it.

We have a scene where Jal plays her clarinet. It’s nice, but this isn’t my favorite episode. Ten minutes in and I think of how I could be working on my research paper (25 pages!). Anyway, it’s ok, because Jal is interrupted by her dumb brothers and their dumb friend rapping. See, Jal’s dad is a super famous rap star, and he has created idiots who do not care about their sister’s aspirations! She tells them to STFU. Luckily, this scene takes up 2 minutes of my time. Jal goes to talk to her dad and he says the brothers need practice too– his lackeys say they need lots of practice because “those pussies are BAD”. True. Jal’s dad is very busy entertaining some dopey white broad. Jal’s dad calls the clarinet “rooty tooty” music and asks if she likes dancing for whitey. Whatever, DAD. Also Jal insists her dress is green. It’s brown. Is Jal color blind? She passively aggressively calls Michelle and gets all mad. She sneaks down to the studio to listen to the white chick sing about strawberries and cream, and it is EMBARRASSINGLY bad.

At breakfast the next morning, Jal throws some serious shade at Alicia, the white girl who is dumb as hell. Even the brothers, whose names I keep forgetting– one is Ace?– are mad, because she’s sitting in their absent mother’s seat. Where is Jal’s mom? Why has she left Jal alone, with no one to dress- shop with?

At school, Jal is sent to the dean’s office, where she is told to play up her “handicaps”– basically they want to use her as a minority to get a grant. Pretty rotten. They have a checklist of things for her to say, and Jal is not having it. She dresses like a slob for her interviews, and she answers “no” to everything (“Your parents must be proud of you?”), thereby extending a PA middle finger to the school. Michelle chastises her for not looking good or making an effort. She at least is nice enough to tell Jal her dress is ugly and let her borrow a new one.

That night, Jal’s dad throws a party. The boys try to get it, but the bouncers tell them to fuck off because it’s 21+. One of them even has a snake for some reason! Jal lets the guys in though, because she’s a nice person. And look how pretty she looks!

Even Maxxie can’t stop looking at Jal’s physique, and he’s gay! Chris says he will simply DIE if he doesn’t get to touch her jugs. Boys are so subtle. And trust me, Michelle is put off by all the extra attention that Jal is receiving; after all, she did say “you play clarinet, I look shaggable”. Rude. It doesn’t help that Tony is talking to Abigail in the other room– why is she there? Michelle turns to Sid for comfort, and tells him that she knows he wants her, but she loves him like a brother. Sid is pretty crushed. ~Cassie~ shows up with a pint for him, because she is a sweetheart that no one appreciates. He chugs the pint, burps a bunch, and leaves. Great (BTW: has anyone seen/noticed Cassie AND Chris on Game of Thrones? It makes me very excited!) .

Oh. Wow.

Jal’s brothers put on a little rap performance. It is horrendous. Jal’s dad puts a stop to it pretty quickly, thankfully. A dance party commences, and while Michelle is dancing poorly, Jal spies Tony being… well, Tony.

OH MAH GUH

After the party, Jal sits on a couch with Sid, holds his hand, and puts her head on his shoulder. She tells him she is comforting him, and tells him that everyone knows he has a thing for Michelle but to let her go. Then some squid asks Jal to join him for a drink up the road. She declines, but he says Sid can come along so they agree. They leave, but as they round the corner into an alley… they are jumped by the Mad Twatter (and crew)! It was all a set up! He informs Sid that the creepy guy, William, has been following him because he owes Mad so much money! They take Sid’s money and Jal’s clarinet. Then, in one of the show’s odder turns, he begins to play the clarinet.

And he’s pretty goddamned good!

Then he smashes it, because he is a wasteful idiot. They walk away, and Jal starts yelling. Sid tries to comfort her, but in doing so, her brothers (+ friend) think that he is raping her or something, and they jump him. She clears it up, but not before basically breaking Sid’s nose. Poor Sid.

Jal has to talk to her teacher (Claire) about cancelling her performance. The scene cuts to Claire, who is… wait for it… IN BED WITH DOUG! Scandalous! We learn that Jal’s brothers were all beaten to the point of being hospitalized by Mad and his men. They are proud for sticking up for their sister, and Michelle kisses them in gratitude.

In the studio, Jal’s dad, who I think is named Ronnie?, speaks to her brother on the phone, telling him he loves them all– even the white kid. Then, he raps:

I’m inspired. I’m offline.A renegade disturbing the peace while I’m spitting a serenade.All this tension, miscomprehension.I’m informed and on the levelthat I might mention that when I scream it’s just passion.I ain’t angry at culture, I ain’t angry at fashion.And I might feel spiteful if I feel shit’s epidemic.I admit that some is soul but some is academic.I been doing this forever, so why you choosing now?Turning your face away is a punch in the gut. Pow!So swing a rhyme of time like the dove sing of love.And keep your peace, cuz I got kin;I got skin to think of.

Is it just me or is Jal’s dad hot?

He then notices Jal listening and gets upset. She asks him why he hasn’t asked her if she is okay. She says it’s not her fault she looks like her mother, which is why she feels he pushes her away. He tells her to go tidy her room, which she doesn’t understand because Jal’s room is never messy– she’s not like that. She goes up to her room to find a beautiful new clarinet. Teary eyed and emotional, she puts it together.

She makes it to her recital, and as she prepares to play, we see Mad being forced into Ronnie’s car, presumably to be killed.

Well, that’s it folks. I know this wasn’t a funny recap, but it really wasn’t too funny of an episode. And I know we usually have the thoughts and/ or fashions from the episodes, but to be honest, there were NO fashions that were worth linking this episode, and I didn’t have many thoughts about it; it was not the best episode. Jal’s dad buying her a clarinet was nice, but that’s about it. Maybe the next episode will have some good songs and fashions for me to talk about.

However, the Unseen Skins for this episode is pretty hilarious. What do you think?

I promise it won’t take so long for our next review! Toodles!

Letty: Two things– ~~EFFY~~ and Jal’s dad is definitely hot, I would smash that with the quickness.

Kolleen: Oh sweet Jesus, lords and ladies, it’s Cassie’s episode! When it comes to Skins girls, Cassie is my ~dream weaver~ (Letty prefers Effy). So I’m pretty excited about covering this. Remember I am not watching these episodes via Netflix as to preserve the integrity of the music. You can find a listing of the songs in this episode here.

Cassie is waking up from a long night of partying at Michelle’s house (her mum has gotten remarried ~again~, prime partying opportunity). Ewwwww. She has goo all over her hands! Is that vomit? We all know Cassie has eating issues, and it sure does look like vomit.

?!?!

Nope, we’re safe. It’s just like, tapioca or something because this party obviously devolved into a food fight at some point. Cassie stands in her underwear and she is pretty thin 😦 (I’m not going to screencap that, because I don’t believe in having a screencap used as weird pro- ana fodder). She stands over a nude Chris, who has “I like boys” written in lipstick across his butt. Jal asks something I’ve never understood about the size of penises (I literally can not grasp what she asks here, someone clue me in– something about action stations? Is this a British thing?) and Cassie says “Poor Chris,” implying that Chris is not… well endowed. Or maybe he is? I have no clue.

She pulls on a gold dress that I COVET.

Screencap found on Tumblr

In the kitchen she notices that today is the day Michelle’s mum is supposed to come home. She sees Anwar praying outside and asks him if his God is listening; he says he hopes not, otherwise he’ll know about all the drugs he did the night before. Cassie thinks he’s cute. Anwar verifies the date and she goes to tell Michelle, who is half asleep and lovingly calls her a crazy bitch and insists that her mum is due back tomorrow. Idiot. Before she leaves, Cassie kisses a passed out Sid on the forehead, leaving a lipstick imprint of her mouth.

Of course as she’s leaving, Michelle’s mom and her new douchey husband pull up. They exchange pleasantries and Cassie makes a break for it as Anna tells her she’s looking much better. Malcom body shames her as he is a piece of crap. As they enter the house, Anna screams, and everyone jumps out windows and the like. Seems right.

On the bus home, Cassie finds a note in her bag that says “EAT!”. She watches the other riders eating carelessly and is sad because she can’t do that. Having an eating disorder is the worst.

EAT

She arrives home, where her parents are basically banging on the kitchen counter as her baby brother stares at them from his high chair. They’re artists so I guess they’re way more sexually expressive and comfortable with their bodies than, say, normal people. She lies about eating at Michelle’s and her dad basically runs upstairs. Cassie asks if she can watch the baby for her mom, and reminds her that it’s her last clinic day and that she’s certain she’s gained the last half kilo needed to terminate therapy. Her mom is psyched for her in that “great, shut up, I want to bone your dad” way. As Cassie changes her brother and puts him down for a nap, she can hear her parents banging in the next room. Yuck. So she pops something– E? I don’t know. I’d do drugs too if I were surrounded by these wackos. Also, what in the hell is up with this painting?

Also there is a painting of her mom ironing in the nude hanging in their kitchen– no wonder Cassie doesn’t eat

She then gets a text message from an unknown number that says EAT! Confused, she looks out the window, but no one is there.

Later, she comes down the stairs in yet another outfit I covet (green shirt with elephant applique; white pleated skirt), as her dad is painting her mom who is once more posing nude. Yuck. She reminds him the taxi is coming to get her, and he has no idea what she’s talking about. It’s really infuriating– these people know nothing about their daughter’s therapy. They’re totally wrapped up in their own weird crap. In the taxi, Cassie shoves weights into her underwear or skirt or whatever. Alan, the taxi driver, teases her a bit, and says he’ll miss her since she’s being discharged He’s like the dad she should have; they even say they love each other. It’s very sweet. She passes her weigh in, obv, and when she goes into the hall another ED patient is water- loading in order to make weight. Unfortunately the nurse doesn’t take her in quickly enough, and she runs down the hall toward the bathroom. Cassie meets with her doctor, who seems like a fake bitch to be honest, and as it turns out is Abigail’s mom (Abigail from the other episode, the one with the speech thing!). This doctor doesn’t even remember Cassie’s name. This is pretty spot on when it comes to mental health care nowadays. Cassie kisses her on the cheek to thank her and it makes the doctor melt down in an OCD fit. Cassie then attends her last group session, and who do we have here?

MAD TWATTER PHD

He goes on and on about how some kid screwed him out of a transaction and when he passes Sid’s ID around Cassie suddenly realizes what’s up! She must warn Sid!

Sid’s at school, getting way too many french fries (chips, in England) from a lunch lady dressed as a fish. It’s a little surreal. Also, he hasn’t bothered to look in the mirror today, because he’s greasy as hell AND he still has that lipstick mark on his forehead. Gross. Cassie joins him in a third outfit I love (yellow shirt, gray sweater, weird necklace with lizards on it). She notices he’s super gross and he explains he came straight to school. She arranges his food all weirdly and he confronts her about her eating habits. She demonstrates how she disguises her lack of eating, which he is sort of impressed at and also kind of bullshit over. While she’s showing him how she messes with her food she drops hints about how his ID is missing. This distracts him, which is the point. He says it all seems a bit fucked up and she says it’s really nobody’s business, and who cares anyway? He says he cares. Just as they are about to have a moment, Tony comes in, singing the praises of omega fatty acids. Tony points out that he has lipstick on his forehead and berates him for being a gross-out. Cassie saves the day by spilling Tony’s drink all over his pants. As Sid is leaving Cassie tells him Mad is out to get him, and of course Sid acts like he just found out his cancer has AIDS. As he runs screaming for the hills, Cassie notices his chips spell out “EAT”.

EATTTTT

We cut to Tony drying his pants off in the female staff locker room, where Angie is butt ass naked. Tony explains that the other dryer is broken. Then Sid walks in, to Angie’s chagrin, THEN Chris walks in! Chris tells them not to look at Angie and Angie tells them to GTFO. She acts annoyed, but when she leaves she looks at her boobs and says “Still got it”, which is something I do and say every day.

Cassie spies on Sid from the balcony at school, saying “look up if you like me”. He doesn’t look up.

In class, Angie asks Sid what’s bothering him and tries to make it all about her boobies. Sid explains to her that he owes someone a lot of money, and she tries to help him out, but when he tells her he never paid for 3 oz. of pot she tells him he’s fucked. I like teachers who are honest and down to earth. Chris comes in and half apologizes, half hits on Angie. Foreshadowing!

Cassie keeps getting “EAT” text messages and assumes they’re from Sid. But Sid and Tony are deep in discussion about what to do about the safety of Sid’s testicles. They’re barely listening to the teacher, who is trying to tell them that he’s going on holiday and they will gave a substitute. Do you know who that substitute will be? Can you guess?

Well now Sid is done for. He has a panic attack outside and everyone slaps him to have him come to. Then they all leave him because they don’t want to get involved. Some friends. Cassie misunderstands Sid’s phone usage (begging his mom to come get him) as she gets yet another message telling her to eat, and tells him he’s sweet but it’s unnecessary. Sid is rude to her, telling her he’s got problems of his own and he’s not messaging her. Poor Cassie. She tries to show him her phone and he tells her there are no messages. She leaves, embarrassed. She goes home to see her family all having a great time without her and, dejected, runs upstairs and opens a drawer full of candy (England has the best candy).

mmmmmmmm

Instead of eating the candy, she makes a call– not to her therapist, but to Alan the cab driver. She meets him at a diner and tells him about Sid, and the messages. If you notice, the word “EAT” is lit up behind her. She asks him who is telling her to eat, and he says she doesn’t need permission to eat. He reassures her that he loves her and she begins to eat her burger.

It’s pretty heartbreaking that the only person who has time to help Cassie in her life is a taxi driver for a mental institution, but I think Alan’s character is very sweet and endearing. I love him to bits. Sometimes help comes in the unlikeliest of places.

Covering Cassie is a bit bittersweet for me, because I suffered from an eating disorder for a lot longer than I like to admit. That being said, February is National Eating Disorder Awareness Month and next week is NEDA Week, so I will break from my jovial character to say that if you or someone you love needs help with an Eating Disorder, please click this link for help and resources.

From this episode:

-“What are you on about” is my favorite British saying. It’s so much better than “what the hell are you blathering about”, which is what I usually say.

Kolleen: Hey guys! Guess what? We got movie passes as a belated Christmas gift so my husband, our friend and I went to a double feature last night. I insisted on Warm Bodiesfor research purposes (and because I wanted to pretend I was on a date even though our friend was with us). I thought it was ADORBZ. ADORBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Also we were the oldest people in the theater (at 31, 32 and 33). I swear the entire audience was in 8th grade.

Look at this thing of beauty. He is a joy forever.

While the pace is pretty slow until the end and you may groan by realizing Hoult’s character is named “R” and Theresa Palmer is named “Julie” and they may be playing off of Romeo and Juliet a bit (I didn’t read the book, so I can’t say if this is explored more– if you’ve read the book please let us know how it was!), you will at the least be mildly entertained and at most think it was a lovely blend of ~romance~ and horror. There’s a good supporting cast (Rob Corddry, John Malkovich, and Analeigh Tipton, who I am ashamed to say was recognized by MY HUSBAND as being an America’s Next Top Model finalist) and it’s just cute and clever as hell, man. It’s better than Twilight, anyway. Go see it.

Further reading since I am too lazy to actually write a real review: here you can read about Nicholas Hoult AND about how Skins was a good jumping off point for its actors. And you can see a picture of Hoult looking suspiciously like Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Also, here you can read an actual review of the movie from our friend (and one of my biffles) Brian’s website, Horror Movie a Day, which is closing up shop in April. Check him out if you like horror stuff.

Warm Bodies did well this weekend so if you don’t get a chance to see it tomorrow, go see it this week or next weekend! Remember to let us know what you thought! Stay tuned this week for more Degrassi and Skins recaps. If you have a suggestion for us, please let us know!

(PS The second movie we saw was the new Stallone flick. It was WRITTEN by an 8th grader, I believe. Zzzzz.)

Kolleen: Look, I’m happy to report that Skins (UK, obv) won in our reader poll and will be the next show we are focusing on (besides Degrassi, of course). And look, I’m also happy to tell you that you can watch Skins on Netflix Instant, but I am going to warn you: the music is all jacked up. I mean, in my opinion the music makes the show, and because of licensing shizz, they had to change a lot of it. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to watch Katie’s episode in series 4 and realizing that “A Promise” by Broken Records isn’t there anymore. As a huge Skins fan… well, I’m not telling you to seek other ways to watch the show, but I am telling you that’s how I watched it. (This site is handy for keeping track of the music in the show).

That being said, I am VERY EXCITED to recap Skins, because it’s probably my favorite show in the history of all time. So let’s get on with it, shall we?

Oh Tony. Tony Tony Tony. You are so good looking, waking up for school in your underwear,working out in your underwear, watching your neighbor get nekkid in front of her window in your underwear, helping your little sister Effy get back into the house after a night of sluttin’ it up in your underwear. You’re only young once!

Meow.

After a morning of fucking with his father, Tony’s off to school, ringing his friend Sid (who doesn’t answer), Chris (who doesn’t answer), Jal (who is busy playing clarinet) and his girlfriend Michelle, who he affectionately calls “Nips”. He calls Sid again. He calls Anwar and interrupts his morning prayer. He calls Maxxie who is adorably tap- dancing. Who doesn’t he call? We’ve basically met everyone on the show in the first ten minutes. British people are efficient.

Can we talk about Michelle for a minute? She’s like #1 Dream Girl on this show. I don’t get it. She has a miserable personality and she’s not even that hot. Someone explain this to me.

UGH

Anyway, the agenda for the day is to help Sid, Tony’s BFF, get laid. He can’t be Tony’s friend if he’s still a virgin at 17! That’s just embarrassing, am I right? Michelle has agreed to “help”, which seems very off putting for a number of reasons. And of course they all have to meet at a cafe to talk about it instead of letting it all progress the natural way: by getting drunk and felt up in the back of a movie theater. I never had friends so invested in my virgin- status, so I guess either Sid is very fortunate or I am very fortunate, depending on how you look at it. Tony berates Sid for a while, and then implies that he’ll get to bone Michelle, because for some reason Michelle is Sid’s dream girl. Ugh. He gets really excited, but Michelle comes in and halfheartedly makes out with Tony (seriously, I’ve kissed apples with more passion) and Sid realizes there has been a misunderstanding. Michelle offers up Cassie (“out of the hospital, not allowed to handle knives” to be Sid’s woman- of- the- night. They’ll need a lot of drugs for the party they’re going to (and to adequately get Cassie messed up enough to do Sid) so Tony suggests Sid buy an ounce of spliff (that’s marijuana).

Tony then goes to a choir rehearsal at an all girls’ school. Apparently they only need one guy. He sings well and all the ladies are gaga for him.Especially one girl with an indecipherable accent (she pronounces “friends” and “frawhndzz” which is, I’m pretty sure, not a word). Her house is the location for the party tonight! She reminds Tony to bring his frawhndzz! He leaves, giving the French teacher a healthy dose of sass mouth. Cheeky bastard! He then meets up with his friends at the quad, where they discuss the finer points of life– watching tv vs taking pills (why not both?). But no one wants to come to the party! Sid doesn’t need the ounce! Oh no.

Sid arrived at the weed dealer’s house. It is also some sort of brothel. Why he doesn’t just bang these chicks and get this whole charade over with is beyond me. One of these prostitutes warns Sid not to stare. Sid is also ignoring his text messages. Enter Madison Twatter, PHD (Pretty Huge… well, you get it).

Are you staring at ME?Yes, your ‘stache is ridic

After some pretty threatening dialogue, Mad sells Sid some weed on credit. 3 OUNCES. 48 hours to pay him back. Sid is definitely in over his head. Mad says if he doesn’t come through he’s going to cut off Sid’s nuts! That’s “mad” indeed. When Tony and Sid meet up, Sid realizes he has about 100 missed calls telling him to abort the mission. What a chump.

In class, Jal is reading a report on the stages of grief as their teacher, Angie, sobs like a fool. Everyone is totes uncomfortable. Chris tries to make her feel better in his ineloquent way. Angie tries to hold it together but you can tell that science teacher or whatever really messed her up good. See, it isn’t just the teens that have ~drama~! Chris really has googly eyes for Angie. It’s very sweet. He even tells Angie’s ex to stop calling her! I can tell there is an inappropriate relationship budding here. Angie looks a lot like Katy Perry, so you have to wonder.

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh

That night, Sid and Tony show up at that snooty girl’s mansion (Abigail, her name is!). They really need to dump this weed. Michelle shows up too, and who does she have with her?

~*CASSIE*~

Beautiful, etheral, fucked- up Cassie, Angel of the Morning, Light of My Life. I love Cassie to PIECES.

OH, WOW! LOVELY!

Cassie is out of treatment for her obvious insanity and ready to PARTY! Cassie is here to rock Sid’s world. They enter the party and are immediately told to take of their shoes as to not ruin the imported Iranian carpet. I would immediately pee all over it, but these Bristol kids are so much nicer than me. Cassie beelines for the kitchen. This party is the PITS. Everyone is named Sarah, for one. Can’t trust a Sarah. Tony tries to unload the unbearable burden of pot onto these snobs, but unfortunately they are not allowed to smoke in the house– Roman silk wallpaper, natch. Horrible djing commences. Everyone dances like white people.

Sid finds Cassie rearranging the kitchen shelves, saying none of the food is organized properly. This was actually the scene that I first saw a picture of– the scene that got me into Skins.

Sid offers her some pot and she declines, saying it will make her hungry. He says he doesn’t mind, and she says she does. Cassie is anorexic 😦 Then they talk about banging. It’s all very oddly sweet.

At Big Gay Night out, Chris and Anwar are bored. They decide to bail, along with Maxxie, to find the party. They arrive at daybreak! And they don’t even take off their shoes when they come in! Outside you hear sex sounds, but don’t worry, it’s just Cassie jumping on the trampoline.

Tramobaline! Trumbumpaline!

She invites Sid to jump, too. They share a kiss, and then Cassie tells him she knows he really loves Michelle– Michelle told her! Women, amirite? Then they hold hands and it’s really cute. He asks her what she would do if everything was so effed up and there was no way to fix it, and she says she would stop eating until they take her to the hospital. Girl, I’ve been there. She asks if he wants to do it now, but tells him they have to be quick because she took some pills. Then she passes out.

Fearing she’s dead, Sid freaks, everyone bails but realizes they have no way to get to the hospital. But Lo! A Portuguese angel disguised as an exchange student offers a soltion to Chris, whom she fancies: “We steal car!” After that they can do it.

We Steal Car!

A mad dash to the hospital ensues, Chris and the Portuguese chick basically banging in the back. Just as they pull up to the hospital, Cassie wakes up. “I’ve had such a lovely dream” she says. Annoyed, they drive off.

They stop at a pier to smoke up, and Tony reassures Sid that they will sell the spliff tomorrow. As Anwar pees on a tree, someone asks who’s got the skins– ah! The show’s name! ROLLING PAPERS. Cheeky kids. As they search the car, Sid hits the shift knob (is that what they’re called? I am a girl, I don’t know) and the car rolls into the pier with everyone except Anwar in it! I think it’s because he was nice enough to pray that other morning. Don’t worry, though… everyone emerges unscathed… everyone except the weed, of course.

Actually, if they had stuck around, they would have seen the weed float back up. Some fisherman is going to have a great day!

Sid is still a virgin, and his balls are in jeopardy. What is going to happen? You’ll have to stick around to find out.

Man I love Skins. I just love it so much.

Edit:This is the Unseen Skins for this episode! Watch it and learn, buckos.

Letty: AGGGGH I love Skins too! That sticky thing in the car is called a gear shift, Kolleen. I know your credo is WWCD (what would Cassie do) as mine is WWED (what would Effy do), and Cassie wouldn’t know that was called a gear shift either. Gotta love those ~*crazy*~ gals.