OUTDOORS: The turkeys are safe when I hunt

Friday

Mar 14, 2014 at 10:15 PMMar 14, 2014 at 10:15 PM

I guess the last time I went turkey hunting was the last time I participated in the Governor’s One-Shot Turkey Hunt. Gov. Bob Riley dropped the event late in his second term because folks thought it was unseemly to put on a lavish event during the austerity of the economic collapse.

By Robert DeWittOutdoors Writer

I guess the last time I went turkey hunting was the last time I participated in the Governor’s One-Shot Turkey Hunt. Gov. Bob Riley dropped the event late in his second term because folks thought it was unseemly to put on a lavish event during the austerity of the economic collapse.I’m not sure Riley ever had his heart into the event anyway. Former Gov. Don Siegelman initiated it as a way to both sell the state to business and industry and focus attention on the state’s natural resources. It also raises money for an Auburn scholarship fund (for wildlife management students, not football players).Riley’s crew was always suspicious of all things Siegelman, and I kind of wondered if the recession wasn’t just a good excuse to get rid of the event. Riley was a bird hunter who didn’t have much experience with turkey hunting. I don’t think he ever killed one on the event, but he did booger one up, a fact that I’ve never let him forget.I never expected the Governor’s Hunt, as most involved with it call it, to return. But somebody got Gov. Robert Bentley’s attention. It is being reborn this year. To my surprise, I’m once again included.I’ve heard Bentley does some hunting, but I don’t know first-hand. I know he’s a gun owner and likes to shoot. I’ll be interested to see if he actually hunts with the legislature in session and an election coming up. At times, Riley barely made perfunctory visits because of other demands on his time. That, and perhaps wanting to avoid my jabs about his failed attempts to kill a turkey.I got included in this soiree because I’m a member of the “outdoor press” and the first event was held in Tuscaloosa, something that appeared to rankle the Auburn-educated conservation officials involved. They’re a bit more at home in the Montgomery area where the event is now held.Being a part of it has been very enjoyable. You couldn’t find a nicer bunch of people to hunt and socialize with than the landowners and guides who donate their property and time to the hunt. I get to meet people that I’d probably never rub elbows with if it weren’t for the hunt.But taking part is also a bit odd. First, it puts me among some pretty important people, business executives and public officials and, facts are fact, I’m not important. I’m sure some of the other invitees wonder if I just crashed the event and nobody figured it out.I’m probably taking some important person’s slot and the organizers are just too polite to ax me. I might be an imposter, but if you think I’m not going to enjoy my good fortune, you’re sadly mistaken.Second, when it comes to turkey hunting, I’m the village idiot. I’m 54 years old and I’ve never killed a turkey. I probably set the record for most Governor’s Hunt appearances without killing a turkey, although Bill Mason did get me within gun range of one about 10 years ago.There are multiple reasons, I supposed. I definitely inherited turkey hunting incompetence from my father. He never killed one, and basically assumed that turkey calling was such an incomprehensible art that he would never gain sufficient mastery to fool a gobbler. He was like that with a lot of things, including working on cars. It’s pretty hard to learn how to kill a turkey if you don’t have a mentor.I also can’t sit still for very long. I pity the guide who gets me on this go-round.I’ve tried learning to call, but I’ve never had much luck. I made some strides with a box call guide Jim Parramore made for me. But about the time I gained a measure of competency, my dachshund chewed up this unique, hand-made device.And finally, when I did take some interest in the sport, talking to turkey hunters discouraged me from getting very serious. The vast amount of knowledge they amass from their hunting experiences is mind boggling. The rules of turkey hunting seem to have endless addenda to each rule covering each specific situation.After hearing all of it, I pretty much decided I was too old and too busy to gain the measure of competency necessary to master the sport. And I’ve found that trying to succeed at something without the necessary technical expertise is about as frustrating as it gets.In short, if the weather cooperates during the Governor’s Hunt, I’ll enjoy seeing the woods bloom into early spring. And I’ll enjoy all the socializing. But unless a gobbler happens to collapse of a heart attack in front of my gun, I doubt I’ll have any successful turkey tales to tell.

Reach Robert DeWitt at robert.dewitt@tuscaloosanews.com or at 205-722-0203.

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