I have a tendency to be long-winded. So I'll start including a long version and a short version of my posts. LOL!

Long version: I'm definitely an introvert and a homebody, so all of my romantic encounters have started online. For the last ten years or so, I've had my heart broken time and again and I've struggled to find a common thread. Finally, I started to think that maybe online dating isn't the best way to go about finding Mr. Right. I usually end up meeting guys who are a little more sex-minded than myself. Trying to find a legitimate date on Adam4Adam or Grindr is like trying to find funny in an Adam Sandler movie--damn near impossible! On top of that, I don't really do bars or clubs due to a genuine lack of interest and a touch of anxiety.

So, I guess my question is: is there some secret gay hiding spot that I'm missing? Surely the only place to meet other gays can't be the bar or the apps. How do you meet men? How did you meet your significant other? Will I simply have to get over my dislike of bars?

I only have used apps for now, and I have met some guys that are very nice and genuinely would love to have something with me, but, guess what? Most of them live in other countries, some of them closer (one of the guys was from Colombia, for example) than others. So that always make me think: “Do I have so bad attitude that I scatter every gay guy that happens to see me in the streets?”.

Bc it seems that I can only attract those guys that can see me in different moods (different photos or through a webcam), with a summary of my life at a side (profile info) and knowing more details than those that you could get of any guy at first sight (like what's the music I like, etc...) only bc they couldn't meet me face-to-face. So, that also always made me think: “What if they did see me in real life without knowing me before? Would they ever be that attracted to me?”.

I say to them that they believe that they like me only bc they didn't meet me in real life, and everyday I find it to be more true. For example, one guy that I first met in Instagram (who is also from my country) finally meet me face-to-face some days ago. And what happened? When he met me in Instagram some months ago he almost wrote me everyday, sent me a lot of pics, voice notes and even vids. After we met last week, he only writes to answer my messages (before he was the first to write), and don't send anything. I'm gonna see him again this monday bc I invited him to the movies, but I don't know what to think.

He seems to have lost any interest in me, and I don't want to put much effort in something that simply won't happen. So after this monday I won't ask him to hang out anymore and I'll stop writing him only to see if he forgets about me or not. I'm just so tired of waiting for Mr Right. I'm even crying right now, for G*** sake. Sorry, I know that this wasn't the answer that you were waiting for.

It depends, my first ex, we read each others blogs back then in 2005, then it just happened, it even help me to discover I like men actually, or at least him, we talked for months before even meeting and that was a disaster for we both were shy about it, my second one was a friend of a friend, we met at a party, then we stalked my e-mail from the invitation list and write me back, the rest to be honest either came from manhunt or chats but as we said with another partnered friends (even straight one) is a jungle out there, I really don't miss it, I had horrible dates, people whom I think would be better out of society for they were a danger to us all, etc. It's a lottery, I was lucky and still am but it's an everyday, my first advice would be to be honest even if you choose to meet people in the real world, outside the cyberspace, tell the other person what you really want and stick to that, I made that mistake in previous relationship and I ended up in a sick one-side-love relationship with a bipolar that choose not to take his medication, call me at night crying without any good reason and then he told me was ok, he was cured and does not need any medication, yeah... sure, for what I saw, there is a new victim by his side, I have him in my prayers. By the end I got honest... despite how much I loved him but I'd not advice anyone to let things got that complicated. I don't mean I WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE CHILDREN, LET'S MOVE TOGETHER TOMORROW but if you are just hanging out, say it.