We kick off AfterChef Junior, the web's only (probably) unofficial MasterChef Junior aftershow, before America's favourite junior home cooking competition itself even starts to make a fantasy draft with this season's contestants. Hosted by Jenni Elliott, Stacey McLachlan, and Max Mitchell.

Talking points: Making things "fancy", Natalie Portman's life achievements, infiltrating the MasterChef kitchen in a Never Been Kissed-type situation, children making pug noises.

Disclaimer: We judge these children because we care. Any bold statements we make about these little prodigies are exaggerated for comic effect. Also, this show probably isn't for kids, ironically.