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Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Marfel Rolland, the CEO of 54-man corp The New Gallentearean Combine, has reported he is still coming to terms with the colossal fuck-up he made by backing the coup against Lychton Kondur.

He spoke to the Eve Onion about the situation.

"Anna and Lquid convinced me all of Brave's problems were being caused by having afriendly, relatable CEO at the helm of the alliance. We were told that having so many people in CNM meetings was good for getting a forty-second opinion and advice from GIA agents. I decided having a CEO who could give me a three hour erection from his voice alone wouldn't be such a bad thing. It was time for change, I thought, for me and the five other members of our corp.

Now I've realised that having a power hungry guy who fucked up a coup last year as one of your leaders probably isn't the best idea. I remained hopeful that we could make some progress in our 4-hour long middle management meeting featuring 27 CNM members and some random guy who accidentally got dragged into the channel, but we instead discussed how to best counter the reddit metagaming of the CFC, PL, N3, Deep Core Mining Inc., Pizza, and NC.

We're also on the side of all the shit corps in Brave so that's not too good either, and we don't have the directors who wouldn't kill their dog to climb the ranks. But on the bright side we got 2 mil isk from Dertydan for giving him more shitposting material, so that's a plus I guess."

The largest corporation that voted for the removal of Lychton was Bovril Borers. When asked for comment on why they supported the coup, they told us this:

"I am playing CKII when a CNM floater is talk to me on Skype. 'Lychton is going to be kill', he says. 'Yes'"

With Brave on the edge of either a civil war or a fail cascade, Brave's shit-tier CEOs have reminded their members that the coup is for the greater good, and that the alliance will definitely be able to survive with 11,000 less members and no sov. Middle management have educated newbies on the dangers of thoughts and have urged them to stay away from reddit.