Discuss Finding the Dragon Lady by Monique Brinson Demery:How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Created: 10/07/14

Replies: 18

Posted Oct. 07, 2014
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davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 1626

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How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became? To what extent does a person's upbringing make them the person they become?

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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eunicev

Join Date: 10/25/14

Posts: 5

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Madame Nhu's parents enjoyed a privileged status as her father was a large landowner and the first Vietnamese lawyer to get a French law degree; her mother was related to the royal family and had been born a princess. Madame Nhu's young, teen- age mother gave up her daily upbringing to her grandmother who oversaw a large sprawling household. In the traditional order of authority and power, Madame Nhu had no favored positioned in the family and her nurses ignored her and handed her off to the gardeners who treated her like a toy. She contracted a serious illness and almost died. What she lacked in attentive caregiving and physical health seemed to spark a feisty will power and scrappy nature that propelled her determination to be a person of influence and wealth.

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 257

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

"eunicev" has hit the nail on the head. And I can add that the rebellion because of the attention and approval was so deficient could only become more intense with time.

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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djn

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 88

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I agree with both previous comments. I would only add that her personality added fuel to the fire.

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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barbarab

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 39

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Yes, "eunicev", stated Madame Nhu's personality perfectly. I also think she was very much her Mother's daughter. I felt sorry for her as a child, but she was a ruthless adult daughter. I believe she wanted to show her parents who had the power now, by refusing them.

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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meredithk

Join Date: 06/10/13

Posts: 27

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

As a child she was ignored by her parents and was just another household chore for her grandmother. I believe she relished attention and because of it decided early on that she no longer would stand idly by and let others run her life.

She also disliked not being the "golden" child like her brother.

Posted Oct. 27, 2014
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jwbriggs13

Join Date: 05/09/12

Posts: 33

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

The culture dictated a child's importance and role in the family based on gender and birth order. Madame Nhu as the second girl was not important. Well, so much for culture. Madame Nhu was driven and had the intelligence, determination, and leadership skills to overcome her place in the culture. While I don't really like Madame Nhu and found much that she did reprehensible, there is something positive to be said for her rising above "her place."

Posted Oct. 29, 2014
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deeh

Join Date: 03/03/12

Posts: 186

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I agree wholeheartedly with jwbriggs13. Her early years definitely formed her will to become a powerful person.

Posted Oct. 30, 2014
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suzannez

Join Date: 05/27/11

Posts: 6

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Madame Nhu's early life definitely formed her as a future adult. As the middle child she was considered not relevant. Madame Nhu's early life would be a great discussion for psychologists.

Posted Oct. 30, 2014
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suzannez

Join Date: 05/27/11

Posts: 6

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Madame Nhu's early life definitely formed her as a future adult. As the middle child she was considered not relevant. Madame Nhu's early life would be a great discussion for psychologists.

Posted Oct. 31, 2014
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terriej

Join Date: 07/28/11

Posts: 158

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

She was ignored by her parents, which led her to crave attention. The attention path she went down was evil, but she got the attention that she wanted and she liked that type of attention.

Posted Nov. 01, 2014
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pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 330

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I agree with all other posts. Birth order and a strong personality were most likely the biggest factors in Madam Nhu's personal development.

Posted Nov. 01, 2014
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kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 335

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I kept wondering if the whole Vietnam experience would have been different if Madame Nhu's parents had shown her more attention! I think much of her self-aggrandizing personality was formed as a response to needing to fight to gain her parents' attention - always trying to prove that she was as valuable and important as her siblings. I bet a wonderful psychological study could have been made of her. Wonder if she had a personality disorder (narcissism, etc.)?

Posted Nov. 01, 2014
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mal

Join Date: 09/09/13

Posts: 164

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

No doubt her upbringing contributed to the person she became. However, she made her choices. Perhaps her errors can be attributed to her upbringing. Sage hinted here and there how she felt about her childhood. Maybe the pain ran deeper than we realized or Madame realized.

Posted Nov. 02, 2014
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mariannes

Join Date: 12/17/12

Posts: 206

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I think Madame Nhu's childhood was dysfunctional and she never developed a sense of compassion. However, other people grow up in dysfunctional families and become normal, loving people, so her background isn't completely responsible for her character failings.

Posted Nov. 04, 2014
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Peggy H

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 235

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

She was definitely from a non supportive family but that alone was not enough to make who she became. She was strong willed and felt it necessary to push the males forward. There are other women of her time who also found themselves in a kind of leadership role and acted accordingly.

Posted Nov. 04, 2014
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llsmill

Join Date: 02/13/13

Posts: 26

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Madam Nhu's parents enjoyed a wealthy and influential lifestyle and so did Madame Nhu's husband. They both went to priviledged schools, did not dress like the normal Korean person or live in the usual housing of the Korean person. When Madam Nhu was building her home she demanded that modern indoor plumbing be used throughout the house when the normal Korean had bathroom facilities that consisted of a building on stilts with a hole cut in the floor. So it is my opinion that her upbringing did influence the adult she became.

Posted Nov. 04, 2014
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llsmill

Join Date: 02/13/13

Posts: 26

RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

Madam Nhu's parents enjoyed a wealthy and influential lifestyle and so did Madame Nhu's husband. Her grandmother was a large land owner. But, she was largely ignored by her family as a child because they were too busy doing their own thing. She was allowed to roam their land and eventually the gardners would look after her. She became very ill as a child and had to fight hard to regain her health. I think she fought so hard as an adult to leave her mark because of a very lonely childhood. I think she wanted to have more power and wealth than her parents to show them just what she really was made of.

Posted Nov. 05, 2014
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sweeney

Join Date: 05/24/11

Posts: 87

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RE: How do you think Madame Nhu’s upbringing influenced the person she became?

I think that your upbringing always influences your choices as a young adult. However, many of us can get beyond that once we have matured and see enough of the world to realize why we make choice that we do.