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Now that we are in the holiday season, take a look at the variety of programs offered at a branch near you! Take the kids to a storytime with Santa, watch A Christmas Carol live, prepare for holiday meals, and much more.

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Turtle Update!

March 28, 2011

With the arrival of Spring, the colony of invisible turtles at the library are preparing to come out of their hiding places of the winter and begin their nine month stint of causing the usual chaos here at the Red Bridge Branch. We are still not certain if any of the turtles from the neighboring grocery store have taken up residence with us, but research is underway. It’s our belief that since the information has gotten out about the endangered animals, turtle-related accidents have been reduced by at least 40%. We also believe some of the colony may have migrated to one of the empty stores in the Red Bridge Shopping Center, gaining their sustenance from several of the restaurants in the center. Once again, this has not been verified. But given what we have learned from our contact in northern Ontario, invisible turtles love greasy foods almost as much as they love sweets. It is now under investigation if the turtles have replaced chocolate for fries as their primary food source. Further information on the change in the turtle’s diet is forthcoming.

While the turtle accidents are down in Missouri, they are still rising at alarming levels in Uruguay - with incidents rising 20% in the past three months. Our turtle experts have informed us that they believe a massive migration is underway, with the turtles heading for Rio de Janeiro in Brazil for the 2016 Olympic Games. Contacts in Brazil are unavailable at this time, but please stay tuned for further updates. If we have any readers in California, please be advised: The Pacific Turtle Research Center in the Philippines have noted that the country’s entire population of turtles, (estimated to be between two and four million) have completely vanished – and are believed to be in route to the states via various cargo ships.

We also wish to inform you that the turtle that was caught here and shipped to England has been found. He is currently residing in the Opera Garnier in Paris – one of the established invisible turtle sanctuaries in the world.