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This is all to real and heartbreaking for me and I’m sure millions of hearts around the world.

We have watched some of the greatest greats supernova within the same week. They were both 69 years too young, and both died from cancer.

Fuck you cancer, I hate you.

To Mr. Bowie, I grew up watching you with wonder as the Goblin King. That was my first introduction into the beautiful weirdness that was you. Your dazzling performance created a sense of otherworldly mysticism in me. It shaped my imagination into what it is today, and without your influence, I would not be me. Growing up, your music filtered into my life and psyche and changed the way I see myself. It taught me to put my gift out there and to not care about what anyone in the world thought of it.

When I heard of your passing, I was okay at first, I immediately put on Labryinth. I allowed myself to watch it like it was my first time. I was still doing okay, until the ballroom scene came on. It was then I lost it and broke down crying. It was more clear to me than ever the importance of your existence and the thought of you never creating anything again was too much to bare. I listened to your music with tears streaming down my cheeks, and a grateful heart. You are untouchable and there will never be another like you.

Today, only a few days later, we lost Alan Rickman. I can barely type as I start to write this. I can’t express enough how lucky we were to experience all the stories you’ve ever told. For me, the most beautiful and poetic of all your manifestations was none other than Severus Snape. I remember growing up and reading all the Harry Potter books with an excitement that was unparalleled for me. Watching you become Snape has been one of the greatest gifts and now until I die, I will never read Harry Potter and not read Snape’s lines in your voice. I’m not sure I’ve loved a character as much as the Half-Blood Prince. Through the act of art, you have encompassed courage and have hurled yourself in to the hearts of millions of people. The phoenix in my heart is crying for you.

These two lights will never know how much I cared about what they brought into the world and into my life and thats okay. However, I want to let everyone know that has ever influenced me, that I am grateful for who you are and for the beautiful creations you bring into this world. To all of my family and friends, supporters and lovers- you are my life and I hold that very dear to my heart.

Our time to bring influence and change into this world is so unfairly short. I don’t want to go through it without letting everyone know how much I look up to your beauty, your weirdness, your courage, and your heart.

May Bowie’s fearless music ring through the sky for all eternity.

And to Alan Rickman, the light in our hearts will shine for you, now and ALWAYS.