The image in our scribbles was a scared cat. Mamma helped the kitty be less afraid.

DRAWING ON INNER STRENGTH

(NOTE: I wrote this story many years ago. But as I start this Lent I’ve been setting up classes to teach Sacred Art and it reminds me of these earlier days. God, the Creator, likes when we use our God-given ability to create in order to heal the times of brokenness.)

We were done eating and I told my son he could play in the tunnels of the fast-food playground for just a few minutes. “We’ll stay for ten minutes. But when I say it’s time to go, I mean it,” I warned him. In my mind I could see all the things that needed to be done at home. I wanted to get going.

My three-year-old sat in the “ball pit.” He just sat there as the time ticked away. Other kids jumped in near him, then they moved through the tunnels and down the slide. They laughed and ran. But my son sat there throwing balls in the air. He didn’t look like he was having much fun.

“It’s time to go,” I called out. He didn’t move. I knew other parents were looking at me. Transitions are never easy for young children, I thought. “Honey, I know the balls are neat. But why don’t you throw them a few more times and then go through the tunnels? It’s about time for us to go.” He still sat there.

“You have one more minute and then it’ll be time to get out,” I said. I waited a bit and then began counting down from twenty. “When I get to zero it’s time to go.”

He still sat there. He didn’t yell, “No,” as I’d seen other kids do. Instead, he simply refused to move. He ignored me.

And being ignored is really irritating when you’re supposed to be the one in charge.

I could feel other mothers watching me. I knew we had entered the Power Struggle Zone. And I hated being here. None of the tricks I knew how to use at home would work at the ball pit.

The sign overhead glared out at me. “No one over sixty pounds is allowed on this equipment.”

Finally, I ignored the sign. I climbed up the steps, went through the dangling plastic, stepped onto the padded flooring of the ball pit and picked up my son. He started yelling.

And he cried and yelled all the way to the car. “Let me go. Let me go!” he screamed. All heads were turned toward me. I said nothing. But my fingers held him tightly and I could feel my face turning red. I was sure I was being judged.

Now, I am the one who needs help with this transition, I thought. So, when we got home, I pulled out a large piece of paper and taped it to the wall. My son sat pouting and sniffling in a chair by the TV. I could tell he was thinking about turning it on without permission.

I said, “Come on. Let’s draw. You get to be first!”

He knew this routine. It was one of our special times. He would scribble with a marker all across the paper and I would follow his line with a different colored marker. It always made us laugh.

He didn’t want to laugh. But he came over to the paper.

He picked up a black marker and furiously moved it back and forth. I picked up a red marker and went over his black zig-zag.

“Humph,” he grunted. He moved to drawing jagged lines. I drew jagged lines near his.

I began to feel the tension of the afternoon flowing out onto the paper. Finally, I called out, “My turn. You follow me.”

I took a blue marker and drew circles. He drew black circles. Finally a smile crept across his face. “A cat. It’s a cat,” he called out excitedly. With the circles and the zig-zags near each other he could see a cat. We added whiskers and a nose. I drew detailed eyes. They were big. “It’s a scared cat,” I said. “What’s he scared of?”

“Just scared,” my son said.

At that moment I realized that the Power Struggle Zone could be about fear as much as it’s about control. When my son was in the ball pit he just sat there — because he couldn’t get past being afraid of the tunnels! He couldn’t tell me that at the time. But now I knew.

And when I was carrying him out to the car I was afraid of the judgement of others. Fear makes everything worse.

Next time, I told myself, I’ll help him find a friend he can follow through the tunnels. And I won’t care what other people think about him or me. As long as we can draw our way past the fear, we’ll be ready for anything. In the Art Zone we can see that all things are possible.

I changed the cat’s mouth to a smile. “He’s not afraid anymore,” I said. “He can do anything. See him go?!”

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2015/03/12/when-it-seems-like-a-power-struggle/feed/0God's Humorhttp://catholicmom.com/2015/02/12/gods-humor/
http://catholicmom.com/2015/02/12/gods-humor/#commentsFri, 13 Feb 2015 00:30:26 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=77631I’ve been praying about money issues. Our house seems to be falling down around us and there is no money for repairs. We just laugh and call the place “Sagging Acres.”

As I pray for help, my husband reminds me, “God is not a vending machine where you drop in your nickel’s worth of prayer and press the button to get what you want.”

Of course, I try my best to make my prayers more than that! I end my prayer time with: “Not my will, but thy will be done, Lord.” I teach my Sunday School students to begin prayer always with thanks and recognition that we can put our trust in Him.

So I wasn’t surprised when an answer to prayer came. Last week I received a writing assignment that came from “out of the blue.” It will keep me busy for awhile and it seemed a direct answer to my prayers. The job will pay $300.

“It isn’t a lot. But it will help,” I assured my husband. And I prayed with gratitude.

Then, just to keep us on our toes, God sent another response. Yesterday, the sink backed up. The plumber came and the pipes broke as he worked on them. Can you guess how much the bill came to?

Since God made everything, we can be assured that humor was one of His precious gifts. Healthy humor allows us to look at things differently. A sense of humor allows us to find a reason for laughter even in the midst of terrible troubles. It is a great blessing to be able to re-look at our lives and laugh through tears.

So I’ve been asking around: “How does God’s response to prayer make you laugh?”

A friend told me she was taking her two young children to school, when she heard a “Thump, thump” noise. It sounded like one of her car tires was flat. She thought the car seemed to pull to one side. So she told her children, “Pray with me. We can’t afford a flat tire right now; we have too much to do. Lord, let it be something else.”

They continued on the road with the thump, thump sound growing louder. She told herself she would decide what to do at school. As she opened the car door she had a quick answer. The belt from her coat was dragging on the ground! It had been banging against the car door. There was no flat tire, just a couple of welts in the door. “Thanks be to God,” she laughed.

Georgianna has another wonderful story to share. When her second son was born he had a genetic problem that caused his legs to grow without muscle strength. He couldn’t walk without leg braces. Georgie and her mother prayed for a miracle.

One day a priest came from Mexico who was known as a healer. He told those who came to hear him, that they should step forward and ask for the kind of healing they desired. Then everyone would pray. Georgie’s son was young, but he bravely went up to the microphone, using crutches. His mother and grandmother poured out silent prayers of joy over his bravery.

The boy coughed. Then he said, “I want to pray that my stomachache be healed.” And sure enough his stomachache was healed! And his mother and grandmother prayed in thanksgiving for the miracle of acceptance!

Georgie likes to say, “We plan and God laughs.” And sometimes, we pray with such seriousness and fear, that God sends a surprise to make think again!

The teens in our parish’s Confirmation class were required to go to a communal penance service. I can’t say very many of them were excited about it. Including my 15-year-old. She seems to forget, between visits to the Confessional, what a great blessing it is! But this time, her experience was wondrous! And she won’t soon forget.

She spent about 15 minutes talking to a priest we had never met before. By the time she got out, the Confession line was gone. Her friends had disappeared. The church was quiet and the Sacristans were straightening up the pews.

We drove home in the darkness without much conversation…she was texting. But as soon as we walked in the door, Brigit couldn’t seem to stop talking. She was animated as she shared bits of the conversation she had with the priest.

He told her about a couple of young men…he had helped to raise them before entering the priesthood. Now that they are living farther away, Father texts them every day. He shares Bible verses. And they text back, “I will make someone happy today” or “I will share my faith today.”

The Holy Spirit has a way of making magic happen. This is how the Spirit worked. My daughter shared this story because it intrigued her. It made the priest seem more human, with life experiences like ours. He does texting! He helped raise kids! That’s an interesting fellow. That night I realized I could follow-up on that story. I sent a text of a Bible verse to both of my children the next day.

Brigit wrote back, “I’ll try to make someone happy.” The next day when I sent another message, she wrote, “I SHALL make someone happy.”

Then her brother, who is far away at Notre Dame, decided to take the initiative. He sent the Bible verse before I did. And the next day, Brigit got up early to check her Bible. She wanted to be the one to share. She was excited about Romans 12:2—“Do not be conformed to this age…”

The verse she shared is about our call as Christians to resist the temptations of the world. It occurred to me that the cell phone is one of those huge temptations. But we are working to transform the use of it.

This Advent we are texting from the Bible as a family pact–to listen to his Word and try to live it. I can’t think of a better use of the so called “smart” phone.

Thank you Father, the visiting priest. And thank you Holy Spirit. We are getting ready for Jesus! And now we have a new Advent tradition! Maybe Lent too!

Beginnings and ending seem to come together, don’t they? Just as Advent begins, our dog died. Babs was of a non-specified old age and a non-specified breed. But she was good. And now she’s gone. First she stopped eating. Then she stopped walking. On Nov. 30 we had to take her to the vet where she would take her last breath.

It’s hard to explain death to kids. And the deaths of animals is even harder to explain sometimes. “Do they go to heaven?” the kids want to know. Animals don’t have souls like humans. It’s important for us to understand that. But God is good and heaven is beyond anything we can imagine. So there are no final answers to that question. One friend of mine tells her kids, “Animals spend their heaven on earth, loving and being loved by you. That’s bliss to them.”

So Babs took her last breath after loving a little lady who lived down the street for many, many years. Then when Mrs. Peterson had to move to be closer to doctors and her children, Babs came home with us. For the past three years she has followed me everywhere she was allowed to go. She was a shadow dog…quietly watching over her beloved humans. Her great loyalty was a precious gift.

To paraphrase my friend, there is a lesson here for us…If we want “heaven on earth” we need to be loyal to the Great One who loved us first! God gives us the greatest gift—He loved us enough to join us on earth, suffer for us, teach us, and open the way to heaven for us. How can we not want to follow Him—to be loyal to Him, above all us?

Yet we aren’t. We turn away again and again in disloyalty. We turn to things of the world. We turn to worrying. We turn to trying to control our world, as if He weren’t even around. We would be so much happier if we turned to Him instead.

I think that’s why we need a “new year.” Advent is a time to start over. It’s a time to let the old ways go and turn back to Our Lord. In the darkness of this season, as the days are short and the light is gone so early, we are reminded of the temporariness of our time on earth. But the light, the Light, is here and we can open the door to allow the Light of His love into our hearts.

This year I am struck by the readings of Advent—they call us to remember that the Incarnation is a precursor. It a reminder that Jesus will come again—and it will be in all His glory. And we humans have immortal souls that will be judged at that time.

My husband wrote recently, “We spend too much time thinking about our exterior situation when we should be taking stock of our eternal situation!”

The reminders are everywhere that we are need to turn–turn back, reconsider our loyalties and look for heaven on earth. Even in the death of a dog and the setting of the sun, we are reminded that God is good and His Kingdom is close at hand! A new year begins. Turn to Him.

Copyright 2014, Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/12/11/advent-new-beginnings/feed/1He Gives Us PEACE and PRESENCEhttp://catholicmom.com/2014/11/13/he-gives-us-peace-and-presence/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/11/13/he-gives-us-peace-and-presence/#commentsFri, 14 Nov 2014 00:30:58 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=73211My son is half way across the country for his first semester of college. He is excited to be at Notre Dame where the trees all turn color, the blowing leaves crunch under foot and the smells of wet wood makes you know that the world is changing. Peter wrote,

“Tell you what, God’s creation is pretty fantastic. The trick is finding time to go outside and see it every once in a while.”

A New Mexico Scene

He is so right. Back here in New Mexico, our few nearby trees are ever-green. What blows down the road are tumbleweeds, not leaves, and the smells in the air are oftentimes the skunks! But that doesn’t mean God’s creation isn’t offering a spectacular window into heavenly beauty…for those who open their eyes to see, there is always a message.

I try to remind the kids that here in our rural area we have Big Sky views that inner city kids can’t even imagine. We can see for miles in every direction. The skies unfold with colors and cloud patterns that tell stories. When my kids were younger and they would be away from home, I would tell them, “Just look up. Your Other Mother in heaven spreads out her cloak to send a message in the sky. When the sky is clear blue it means all is well. It’s the color of the blue bird who is associated with happiness. When the sky has puff ball clouds, Mother Mary is sending a message too. Those puff balls look like crafting fun. It’s time to be creative. And when the skies are dark and heavy, they remind us of a winter jacket. We need to surround ourselves with friends and family to feel that warmth.”

No matter what comes to us in life, God’s creation and Mary’s sky messages, are sure to lift our spirits.

I remember one time when I was particularly overwhelmed…the furnace was on the fritz, the dishes were piling up in the sink, my computer just crashed, and the kids were crying. My husband was standing in the doorway and called out, “Hey everyone you gotta see what it looks like out here!”

I imagined maybe a helicopter landing in our field or a huge bonfire sending smoke clouds in the air…something big and compelling that would require our immediate response. The kids and I dropped what we were doing and ran outside. The sky was clear. The sunset had not started sending out colors. Everything looked the same as always. No fire, no helicopter, no emergency.

“And we are looking at what?” I asked, with a voice full or sarcasm and frustration. Jurgen said, “There’s always something out here to call us away from our human made problems. Let’s see what we can see if we really look.”

Sure enough, we found things worthy of observing. The sun was just starting to go down and orange streaks began to shoot across the sky. Meanwhile, looking down, the kids found big beetles with red and black stripes. (At the time, Peter had a bug collection.) The wind began to blow slightly, carrying the first whiff of someone’s cedar log wood stove.

I took a deep breath and felt the wonder of creation…especially the wonder of family! Here we were outside for no particular reason except to slow down and appreciate the gift of life. And it was truly wonderful!!!

Thank you Peter, for bringing back these memories.

And thank You, my Lord, for your daily messages of Presence. Forgive us for not noticing. For taking You for granted. For not breathing in Your Peace. I’ll be trying to open my eyes now.

One challenging aspect of motherhood is that we are not often recognized for our efforts. Maybe on Mother’s Day (and hopefully periodically from our families) but certainly not from the world at large. And yet, our Lord seems to tell us that might be a good thing. Can we say at the end of a tiresome day….”we have only done what is our duty?” Our inclination is to clamor for more rest or applause. But I think the answer lies in what God sees not what we or others see.

If the praise comes from this world, why offer anything to God? When we have all we need from the voices here on earth, we begin to strive to receive those accolades again. It can become an obsession to be affirmed and rewarded. But when we say we have only done our duty, we recognize the truth. We did no good thing on our own. The reality is that God keeps all things in existence; every gift and work we do has been done with the graces He has given.

Yes, we have done our duty, and sometimes God calls to do more . Imagine the trust He has in us….to ask so much more than we thought we could do in one day!

Ponder:

What is God asking me to do quietly without recognition today?

Pray:

Dear Lord, You are my Master, and I your unworthy servant. Grant me the grace to let go of my plans, and let you dream and plan for me. Each day I offer you what I have done and humbly ask you to show me in what ways You see I could do even greater things!

Today’s Gospel: Luke 11: 27-28
Sometimes less is more. The Church in her wisdom gives us a gospel verse today that is two lines. As moms we might take some offense. A woman calls out that Jesus’ mother is blessed and he answers that those who hear the word of God are blessed. Is the Mother of God not blessed? We already know from Scripture that she is. At the Visitation, she says to Elizabeth in her Magnificat, “All generations will call me blessed.”

So maybe the question is one of precedence. Those who hear the Word of God and keep it are blessed. Who hears and keeps the Word of God more fully than Mary? It is because she heard the Word of God from the angel, and kept it in her heart, that she conceived and bore Him in her womb and nursed Him at her breast.

And what about us? We bear Him in our bodies too, at every Mass and Eucharistic Communion. But in order to fully receive grace, we must first dispose our hearts. We hear His Word in Scripture, and pray for openness of heart to receive Him. And even then we must ask for the grace to be healed in Holy Confession, and in our cry right before we receive Him, “Oh Lord I am not worthy….but only say the Word….and my soul shall be healed.” Only let me hear the Word of God and keep it.

“Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and keep it!”

Ponder:

How can we more fully hear the Word of God?

Pray:

Loving Mary, we ask for your intercession to be healed, so that we might conceive and receive the Word of God in our hearts like you did, and so be blessed!

I wonder if moms “smell” different?I have come to this question, because our 50-pound dog, who believes she is a still a tiny puppy, ran in the door, sniffed for a brief moment and raced to the dark corner where I sat at my computer. She jumped in my lap, threatening to knock over the stack of books on my desk.

Meanwhile the other dog barked wildly and bit the lap dog’s paw. She is jealous! Chaos reigns for a moment…and it’s simply because I am the mom of this household and in demand by everyone.All our animals—cat, dogs, horses, goats, chickens, and ducks—seem to have a honing instinct which keeps them tuned to me.

And this is not because I feed them and give them more attention…The kids are the ones who feed the dog and the cats, the chickens and the equines. The kids are the ones who have tried to train their animals and give them attention. But still all the critters seem to know that it is “mom” you come to for help.

They treat Jurgen, the dad of our household, in a special way too. With him, the animals show deference and respect.He commands, they obey. With me there is the frantic fight for attention. Clearly there is something distinctive about moms and dads—females and males—that even animals can sense.

“Babs” is an abandoned old dog who lives with us. She manages to open the bathroom door whenever I am in there! I remember the days when the kids were little and I accepted the fact that moms have no privacy back then; but now I have an old dog who can’t let me out of her sight either!

At night, the fat cat, sleeps at my head and the old dog sleeps on the floor next to me. I can’t turn in the bed, or stand up at night, without running into an animal! When I go outside, the barnyard cat, who is skittish around everyone else, lets me pick her up and carry her around. I take that back–she “asks” to be picked up and carried around!

The chickens and the ducks clamor at the gate when I come outside, while they hold back and watch the kids before leaving their pen. The ornery donkey responds to Jurgen by calling out for food by the window where Jurgen sits. But she puts her 12” ear up against my face when she’s worried about having a hoof trim.

All in all, I’m thinking that if there is something special about the essence of moms and dads that even the animals can sense, then our society better not mess with this. God created families in a most precise way!

I mean, hey, if even cats cry out for a human mom and dad, children deserve them too!!!

Copyright 2014, Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/09/11/that-special-gender-thing/feed/0Remember These Words: Tips for Memorizationhttp://catholicmom.com/2014/07/10/remember-these-words-tips-for-memorization/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/07/10/remember-these-words-tips-for-memorization/#commentsThu, 10 Jul 2014 23:30:51 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=65267When Mary the Mother of God was a young girl she learned about God by listening to the Scriptures. She would have been asked to remember what she heard. Back in those early times, before the printing press, faith stories were always memorized word for word and passed on from generation to generation. That is how students learned.

Can you picture the early days of the Church, as young people sat around a teacher and repeated the answers to questions? I imagine their eagerness to recite the exact words that were shared with them. And in doing this, the words became a part of them…as if the words were blood running through their veins!

For centuries, parents, educators and faith teachers recognized the absolute necessity for memorization even when printed words were available. When you know the answers to basic questions like, “Why did God make you?” the answer will pop into your mind when you are depressed or in crisis. The blood of truth rushes to the wound to cleanse it and bring healing antibodies.

Unfortunately, in our modern area, memorizing is no longer a common practice.

Yet in some places it is making a comeback. I write a column for Catechist magazine called Learning by Heart. People, around the country, are responding. We are asking students to memorize basic ideas such as “What is a Sacrament?” along with some helpful Bible verses.

With my catechism students in third grade I asked them to learn some of these things. A few people grumble about this expectation. However, all our students are doing it! They rise to the occasion when given the opportunity!

A Memorizing Game

To assist in this effort, we created a game in our third grade class to make it entertaining! Memorizing can be fun. Using a soft beach ball, we “throw the answers” around the room. Understanding and memory begins to grow.

For example, I ask the students, “Why did God make you?” One child catches the ball, and answers “to know Him;” she throws it to another student who says “to love Him;” another says “to serve Him.” We go around the room playing catch and shouting out these words.

The next step is to put the answer together. I tell them they must answer with, “God made me to know Him, love Him and serve Him…” I tell it to them once. The first person to get the ball struggles to repeat what I have said. But soon, as the ball is passed from one student to another, the complete answer comes out loud and clear. “God made me to know Him, love Him and serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in heaven.”

We have tried the ball game to memorize several questions. We have also set some answers to music. In the Catechist magazine our technique is to present visual puzzles to use as triggers for memorizing.

For active young children, using creative ways like this help them to remember. When we sing, draw, or throw the ball, the children laugh.

As my son prepares to leave home for college in just a few months, I feel a bit lost. Who’s going to be there to say, “It’s late and time to get to bed. Put those things away now. Are you feeling OK?”

The importance of parents—for the spiritual health of children–can never be overstressed. It is parents who instill the first “fear of the Lord!”

When Peter and his sister were little, my husband and I had them convinced that God gave us the power to see them wherever they were! This was a major first step for them in learning self control. Because “what if they know” is the beginning of “I’d better not do that because it is wrong.”

Of course we employed the usual parental tools. We made educated guesses: “You were talking too much in your kindergarten class today, weren’t you?” Or we heard from others: “I’m glad you helped that girl who struggles with reading.” Or we noticed body language: “I’m sorry you had a hard day. Do you want to talk about it?”

These ways of knowing things without being physically present help kids grow. It’s a small glimpse of heaven, really…it is the reassurance that there is someone who is always close by, whether you see them or not, who really cares about you.

For all of Peter’s 18 years and Brigit’s 15 years, these strategies have served us and them. Sure we have missed some cues that might have told us about troubles. But, for the most part, being available and being observant has worked to help them grow in faith.

But now that Peter is going to be really, really far away, it’s time to turn him over into the hands of his Other Mother who is even better at this “All Knowing” than I am. Mary, our Heavenly Mother, has the same concerns about health, safety, faith and virtue, but she sees even more!

Another thing I used to tell the kids was that when they are away from home, they can always look up to the sky and know that I am looking up too. And in the sky we are vividly reminded of Mary, the Queen of Heaven, whose color is blue. In fact, I see her spreading her mantle across the sky. When the sky is clear, then all is well. When the sky is cloudy with darker clouds, we need to pull together and support each other. And when the sky has little cotton ball clouds, then it is time to be creative!!

That was my imagined response to separation. But I firmly believe that Mary–because she knows the hearts of every mother–is trying to communicate with us in many ways, even in the sky. She reads beyond even those subtle ways of knowing—the guesses, the body language and the networking with others. Our heavenly Mother reads souls.

So as our kids go off to camp for the summer, or to a new school in the fall, we can put our trust in their other Mother, because she is our Mother too! And she truly knows and cares about the big picture of what each of us needs!

Copyright 2014, Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/05/10/everyone-needs-another-mother/feed/0Heaven Is Saint Friendlyhttp://catholicmom.com/2014/05/08/heaven-is-saint-friendly/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/05/08/heaven-is-saint-friendly/#commentsThu, 08 May 2014 23:30:09 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=61668The new movie Heaven is for Real has everyone talking! It is delightful, affirming, and well worth seeing. Yet, the primary source of “conflict” or tension in the movie is one that may puzzle some Catholics. The adults around the adorable boy who comes back from a visit to heaven aren’t sure it is real. His father, the minister, struggles for quite a while with whether or not to believe.

For me as a Catholic, believing in heaven is a given. I have always felt confident in the assurance of eternal life awaiting us after we die. For those who truly love our Lord and strive to follow Him in this life, that life will be in heaven. But there are no guarantees so we must always be vigilant.

The question for me is: What exactly will heaven be like? In the movie, the little boy sees animals, hears choirs of angels and visits with loved ones who have died. And that is well and good. But what is “eternity” with animals and angels really like?

In college I took a class on Utopian Literature and the conclusion of the professor was that we humans have no ability to imagine a place that is without struggle and darkness. The utopias, imagined by humans, always have a dark side. The “endless good” seems absolutely boring. Ice cream cones and flying horses are only entertaining for so long.

But I suspect literature is not the place to go for truly understanding heaven. The nature of a good story requires a conflict. And we need these stories to reassure us that the good can conquer evil. But in heaven evil is banished.

A much better place for learning about heaven, besides the reports of there by those who come back from the dead, would be to go to the saints.

The saints are those who have learned the language and culture of heaven. They learned, through their struggles and striving on earth, how to love fully and surrender enthusiastically to God. So here’s my glimpse of heaven from reading the lives of the saints (and letting my imagination go wild!):

I imagine heaven as a place with architecture like St. Basil’s Cathedral in Russia. The domes look like ice cream cones and the colors are vivid. The imagery is like the walls of the Louvre in Paris…full of ancient beauty and majesty. The sounds are both comforting and haunting. And the life is like a return to childhood…full of joy and wonder.

But as we come close to this place, the words we hear are different. This is not a place where the coarseness of human languages is ever spoken. And the roadways, paths and modes of transportation are nothing like zipping along highways in a Honda.

Heaven is not a place where sinners fit in easily; it would be absolutely uncomfortable for those who do not love God. Sinners look shabby and dirty before the walls of pure light that surround the heavenly Jerusalem. We would like to march our way forward like we do on earth, but we stumble. We don’t know the way. We get confused. We feel out of place.

Heaven absolutely confounds and troubles the sinful.

As I imagined this I was reminded about the time I visited Paris. It’s an exciting place. A world-renowned center of culture and art. But I didn’t know a word of French. I would hear talking but sometimes I couldn’t even tell if the person was addressing me with a question or a diatribe. It was frustrating for me and, obviously, irritating to them. Knowing nothing about this place I was visiting made me a “stranger in a strange land.”

That’s why we need the saints. How can we possible learn about a place that is beyond anything “eyes have not seen nor ears have imagined?” (1 Cor. 2:9) We need to be prepared. It’s an experience like no other….

Of course the ancient prophets told about Heaven…they say it as rising to great heights. Scholars have described it as “beatific.” That word means “sublime happiness.” And Jesus gave us a road map for the journey…to mourn for the world as it is, to be humble in spirit, to be hungry for justice and to be ready for persecution…and eventually to inherit the Kingdom..the beatific vision.

It is not an easy road ahead! But let us begin down that path. Because this life of virtuous concern for the souls of all, will strengthen us in love. And love prepares us for the language of heaven.

The saints who practiced the beatitudes, give us glimpses of what the beatific is like. St. Thomas Aquinas, the most reasonable intellectual fellow every to step through the pages of history, also felt his heart so full of love for Jesus that he literally lifted off the ground! And he was a big fellow!

St. Teresa of Avila was in poor health but she meditated deeply, every single day, on the experiences of Jesus as He lived on earth. She envisioned a crystal mansion with many rooms. (John 14:2) She offered herself up to be perfected in the fires of earthly trials. And as a result, she sometimes fell into ecstatic raptures.

St. Joseph of Cupertino was a simple fellow who loved God and because of his unreserved love, he flew. Although this must have been amazing, his flights were the source of jealousy and every attempt was made to hide him.

And of course, Padre Pio…they say he could be in Italy and in South America at the same time. He could read souls. Words were not necessary.

These experiences of levitation, flight and bi-location are NOT heaven. But they reveal something about it. Life in heaven defies all the rules we have for living. Life in heaven is about being so in love that nothing else matters.

But the love of heaven is not a touchy, feel good kind of love. It is a love of joining. Like when you are on a winning team and everyone works together and you feel connected, joined, united. It is a love like the husband and wife who are joyfully married for sixty years and die within hours of each other.

The saints are quick to remind us that Hell is equally “for real.” Some had visions of hell. The little children of Fatima were deeply troubled by a vision of many tormented souls in hell. It made the young ones pray and sacrifice out of love, so that fewer souls would have to go there.

The message for me in studying heaven, is that we must do our best to prepare for it by the way we live on earth. We have a roadmap. We must be diligent and follow. And when we arrive, Jesus Himself will be there to help us go through a final cleaning (purgatory) in order to prepare for that vision of ultimate glory!

Copyright 2014, Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/05/08/heaven-is-saint-friendly/feed/0First Communion -- The Beginning of a Soul’s Journeyhttp://catholicmom.com/2014/04/10/first-communion-the-beginning-of-a-souls-journey/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/04/10/first-communion-the-beginning-of-a-souls-journey/#commentsThu, 10 Apr 2014 23:30:45 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=60102The children are wiggling their hands and feet. The girls giggle at the boys who are dressed in suits for the first time ever! People in the pews are craning their necks to see. The pageantry of First Communion is about to begin!

This is a precious and meaningful time. Yet, it is only a beginning. It is like taking the first step up a ladder. Why would anyone stay there or step back down?

God Sending Down His Love by Judith Costello

As a teacher preparing students for this day, I tell them they are becoming tabernacles for Jesus. They will receive Jesus in a way unlike any other. But Jesus doesn’t want to be ignored immediately after this special day.

First Communion is just the beginning. Our understanding of the Eucharist and desire for it should grow over time. We are called to “know, love and serve Him.” It is a relationship that must be developed by constant attention.

Jesus is always with us and we receive His grace in the sacraments of Baptism and Reconciliation. We can hear His words in the Gospels and we can talk to Him in prayer. But there is nothing like receiving Him as the Bread of Life. There is nothing like becoming a tabernacle.

Yet, too many families see First Communion as the beginning and the end of their obligation for faith formation.

Judith’s daughter Brigit, at her First Communion in 2008

The young people, who are so excited on this day, and feel the glow of love for Jesus, are like delicate new buds pushing up out of the ground of the secular world. Their experience is fragile and tentative. It needs to be nourished by weekly reception of the sacrament of the Eucharist. When parents make a big deal out of First Communion, yet make excuses for not going to Mass on Sundays after that, they send a mixed message.

The message seems to be that “only the first time is important. Then, if you receive Jesus again once a year, that’s enough.” The bud doesn’t open. The flower wilts in the time that lapses between receptions.

Since the Eucharist is necessary for our souls, why would we want to deprive ourselves of this soul food? The longer we go without, the more the soul dries up.

It is so important that our children see a love, respect and hunger for the Eucharist in their parents. Then their curiosity leads them to desire. And desire leads to deeper prayer and understanding.

Tabernacle literally means “temporary dwelling place.” If we are to keep Jesus close to us, we need to invite Him into the tabernacle of our bodies on a weekly basis. And inviting Him into our tabernacle on a daily basis is even better.

Then, the tabernacle will glow with His presence. And the flower of love and purity unfolds in His glorious presence!

Copyright 2014 Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/04/10/first-communion-the-beginning-of-a-souls-journey/feed/1One Cold Dark Night…http://catholicmom.com/2014/02/13/one-cold-dark-night/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/02/13/one-cold-dark-night/#commentsThu, 13 Feb 2014 22:30:59 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=56725When our furnace died, one terribly cold night, it became an opportunity to huddle together and focus on the warmth that comes from faith, family and love…

It began at 4 p.m. when our gas furnace rocked and rattled. The serviceman confirmed what we suspected. The blower was shot. Unfortunately, the nearest supplier was an hour’s drive away and our serviceman didn’t have time to take out the old one and drive that distance to get it fixed or replaced. He advised us to bring build up a fire in the fireplace.

So, this could have been the start of a nice, change-of-pace, cozy night. Except one of our fireplaces was labeled “dangerous” the last time it was checked. And the other fireplace is in the back of the house and doesn’t send heat to the bedrooms.

The temperature was dropping fast. It was five degrees according to the thermostat but colder than that with the wind chill. Brigit, age 11, was coughing in allergic reaction to chimney smoke. I was in denial. This couldn’t be happening, or could it?

As the warmth inside the house quickly dissolved, we huddled together in one room. Under a pile of blankets we watched the old Titanic movie. Not the love story version, but the original film, showing terror, heroism and devastation. It all happened in a single night back in 1912.

It gave us the opportunity to talk about what we would do in that situation, faced with jumping into the frigid ocean. “I’d move my legs a lot and pray hard,” someone said.

We piled on blankets and pretended we were living in the earlier times when cold nights were an everyday experience. It was time to be thankful for our blessings…for new blankets that came as Christmas presents and for movies that helped us keep our perspective about our troubles.

Especially we prayed for Jurgen, my husband. He is in eighties and has health problems. But he courageously kept the fire going in our back room fireplace so that we had one spot of warmth in the house.

When dawn finally came, it was as if our eyes were opened in a new way. Light brought a feeling of renewal and warmth. All things are possible when there is Light.

I share this story by way of saying that any time of trouble offers an opportunity to be renewed in faith. The contrast of warmth and cold, fire and ice, light and dark are important images for us. We are called to trust in Jesus when there is cold, ice and darkness.

Then the Light of the World will shine for us. And then the darkness is conquered. The warmth is re-kindled.

From our family to yours, we pray that our eyes will be opened. The Light is always there dispersing the darkness if we but turn in faith to Him.

And then “the peace which transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4: 6-7) Isn’t it amazing to think that St. Paul wrote those words while he was in dark prison cell?! Clearly, he could see the Light.

Copyright 2014 Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/02/13/one-cold-dark-night/feed/0The Ultimate Choice (Pascal's Wager) and Why It Mattershttp://catholicmom.com/2014/01/09/the-ultimate-choice-pascals-wager-and-why-it-matters/
http://catholicmom.com/2014/01/09/the-ultimate-choice-pascals-wager-and-why-it-matters/#commentsFri, 10 Jan 2014 00:30:49 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=54666In the course of human events…we, of the 21st century, are living in dark and troubled times. One ninety-year-old man told me recently, “I feel depressed about what is happening in the world, but only for eight days out of the week!” Not only are serious sins being flaunted, but sin is now promoted as “good and normal.” And so, perhaps it’s time to challenge those around us to take Pascal’s Wager.

For those who haven’t heard of it, Pascal’s Wager was a philosophical idea used to demonstrate that faith is better, and more reasonable, than unbelief. It was proposed by Blaise Pascal in the 17th century.

Pascal was a successful mathematician, inventor and penetrating thinker who lived during a time when the science was rising as the “new religion.” It was “in vogue” to be “reason-centered” and this was pitted against faith, as if the two were opposite poles. (Today our culture is “Me-centered”.)

The Wager is based on the idea that we have a deep concern about our mortality. It’s like this—if you were told you are dying and there is no hope except one experimental medicine, would you go for it? Would you risk maybe dying a few hours sooner, for the hope and the possibility, that this experiment could bring healing? Most would say, “Yes, I want to live.”

Faced with the truth that we will all eventually die, confronted by whatever comes in the afterlife, Pascal proposed this Wager:

If you make a choice to believe in God (and live your life accordingly), and God is really there waiting for you, then you win an eternal reward of everlasting happiness. If, on the other hand, you make that choice, and it should turn out that God didn’t exist, you have lost nothing.

But what happens if you choose to live life as if there is no God? If you turned out to be right, what do you gain? Nothing. But if you live without faith and it turns out you are wrong, because God exists, then your denial of Him will earn you eternal damnation!

Pascal felt that when phrased like that, there is only one logical/reasonable choice to make.

In our modern world everyone has heard stories about Near Death Experience. Science demonstrates that everything comes from something, which leads to an awareness that there must be an Ultimate Source.

We have available a lot of reasonable data to support belief in God. And we have Pascal’s Wager. So why would anyone live without faith?

Still, some people resist. They simply don’t want to believe because belief demands something from them. Believing is only a first step. It is the lowest rung on the ladder. It implies a change of lifestyle. Yet, if eternal damnation is something folks would like to avoid, they might want to consider living a decent, moral life and believe in God. Believers who seek goodness and truth are special people who, beyond the graces from God and the gift of salvation, are also the ones who are remembered and cherished for generations after they die!

But, sadly, if you Google the words “Pascal’s Wager” online you’ll find nearly three out of every four articles are by those who want to mock and dismiss the Wager. They prefer to turn their backs on God.

Perhaps we could rename the Wager for moderns. What if we call it “The Ultimate Choice” or “The Final Leap”? A t-shirt slogan perhaps best described this: “I Work for God: The Retirement Benefits are Amazing!”

Copyright 2014 Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2014/01/09/the-ultimate-choice-pascals-wager-and-why-it-matters/feed/1Silence in the Hearthttp://catholicmom.com/2013/12/23/silence-in-the-heart-2/
http://catholicmom.com/2013/12/23/silence-in-the-heart-2/#commentsMon, 23 Dec 2013 13:30:27 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=53941I was reading an old text that recommends “silence in the heart.” Saint Diadochus of Photice, a bishop of the fifth century, said our minds should be like still waters. Then we can see the pollutants (temptations) and recognize “the fish” (grace).

It sounds wonderful. Such great advice. But it seems impossible to achieve in this modern era, especially in busy houses with children. How is this possible?

Today, as I write this, for example, there was no school because snow enveloped the state of New Mexico. And the children had important projects to do which meant lots of questions. And the barnyard animals were struggling with the severe cold so we were going outside more often to bring them warm water. And I had a big editing job due soon. And the living room was a mess because of all our projects. And the kids ate all day long so the sink was full of dishes…

And…And…And. You get the drift. Chaos reigns.

Silence would be wonderful. But I don’t suppose Saint Diadochus meant it would be easy to achieve. In fact, he says we need the assistance of the Holy Spirit and a persevering nature.

So here is my plan to still the waters of my soul. For whatever it’s worth, maybe it will help someone else.

Discipline. Getting up just a bit earlier means there is time for quiet prayer.

Repetition. It’s possible to repeat simple prayers over and over to drive away the distracting thoughts and temptations. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, help us.”

Conventional wisdom says you should never try to aid a critter as it is trying to hatch from a cocoon or an egg. There is the often-used story about the man who tried to help a monarch butterfly out of the cocoon. As a result, the wings of the butterfly weren’t strong and it could never fly. Using that analogy, experts say that children must go through trials and make mistakes in order to become who they are meant to be.

All this was going through my mind as my daughter, age 10, slept in front of her tiny incubator. On Monday a tiny pyramid had appeared on the duckling egg to indicate that the hatching process had begun. We knew the process could take up to 24 hours. It was 9:00 at night and we agreed that Brigit would sleep in the living room awaiting the new arrival. The duckling would use a special “egg tooth” to break out of its shell.

God is so good to create such detailed ways for all creatures to come into the world!

Well, Brigit slept intermittently which meant that Mom did too. Occasionally we heard a small peep. But, morning came and went and still the egg pyramid remained the same.

Brigit was determined not to miss the big moment so she stayed glued to the incubator. At the 24 hour mark, she and a friend stared at the egg trying to will the duckling into birth! They were excited.

The duckling slowly cracked the top of the egg! Wet down feathers began to wave out from the thin opening. But the sight was a bit foreboding. The feathers looked like spider legs.

The girls watched and listened during that hot, sticky evening. Nothing more happened. By morning, it had been 36 hours. I thought about when I had given birth…36 hours of labor would have been a nightmare and doctors would surely intervene.

The duckling was calling out in a pathetically small voice. Consulting hatching experts, though, we were again told to leave it alone. “If it can’t get out on its own, there is something wrong with it and it will die.”

That’s hard news for any mother. Brigit couldn’t stand it. She had prayed for days over the egg. She coaxed it along for two full nights. Could it be doomed? When the process was 42 hours long, I gave in….Brigit should offer assistance.

What is the philosophical implication here? Well, we are a community of life. If we can help a struggling creature, we should, of course. Brigit took tweezers to the egg.

It was at 45 hours after it began its birth process when the duckling was finally free. Its neck seemed too long. One foot was shriveled. It couldn’t keep its head up and it twitched constantly. The poor thing looked like it was a deformed and slimy tarantula. Its bony wings and one good leg moved spastically.

We were mortified to watch it. I felt guilty. “Could the books and conventional wisdom be right?” I kept asking. “You are too impatient. It is arrogant to try to intervene in God’s process.”

We prayed. Others prayed too. It was just a duckling. But it was a life that Brigit had tried to help. For her sake, we hoped against hope that something would change.

The duckling was so busy twitching it didn’t seem to notice it was all alone in a big cage. In the middle of the night I got up to check on it. It was dry now and had a pretty brown coat. But the webbed foot was still curled into a ball. It still used its beak as a third leg. I prayed again.

It’s hard to trust in God and truly surrender to Him. It is really hard not to have the answers.

But God is in charge after all. We can only do our best and turn over the outcome to Him. That’s the lesson….compassion and then humility.

In the morning, the world seemed brighter and Brigit felt encouraged. She cupped the duckling by her face, calling it M&M for Milagro’s Miracle. Milagro is the Spanish word for miracle.

Brigit had a sudden inspiration. Ducks need water. She put the twisted creature in the sink and instantly the curled foot spread out; the neck straightened. She put Milagro on her lap and the duckling waddled up to her face as if she were in a race. It had changed from a tarantula into a charming duckling!

M&M now lives in the barnyard with our other critters. You would never know she had such a difficult birth. But she does distinguish herself in calling out, “Beep, beep” as if to say, “Get out of my way, world.”

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2013/12/10/duckling-diary-lessons-from-our-rural-life/feed/2Uncle John’s Hay Wagon (Or, Learning to Drive a Tractor the Hard Way)http://catholicmom.com/2013/11/26/uncle-johns-hay-wagon-or-learning-to-drive-a-tractor-the-hard-way/
http://catholicmom.com/2013/11/26/uncle-johns-hay-wagon-or-learning-to-drive-a-tractor-the-hard-way/#commentsTue, 26 Nov 2013 16:00:40 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=52789Note: this post was written by Judith Costello’s husband, Jurgen F. Haver, and originally appeared in the Christian Science Monitor.

There are things we don’t identify as stupid until after we’ve done them. We blindly act with no idea that disaster is approaching us at warp speed. I learned this on a humid, mid-August day in 1946. I was a city kid spending a summer vacation on his Uncle John’s Nebraska farm.

Uncle John had just told me to get on the tractor. “Drive the hay wagon up to the house. I’ll take the truck and meet you there. We’ll have supper and then unload the bales. You do remember how to drive the tractor like I taught you, don’t you?”

Hey, does a 14-year-old know how to drive a tractor? “You bet! No problem!”

As often happens, arrogance precedes stupid mistakes. Drive the tractor up to the house. Simple request. What could go wrong? All I had to do was negotiate a few hundred feet of hay field and turn up the road. Then, a half-mile drive and I’d be eating supper. What I didn’t anticipate was the three hours of back-breaking work my future held.

We had just spent two-and-a-half sweaty hours loading bales of hay onto the wagon. I was exhausted and glad to be going back to the house. I savored the bitter bite of my Aunt Pauline’s homemade lemonade. I conjured up images of supper.

I put my uncle’s John Deere in gear and pointed it toward the road. I loved that tractor. Back then, even city kids knew the putt-sputter of those early John Deeres as they hiccupped their way through life. It comforted me to hear that big green machine sounding like it was supposed to sound. Still, my mouth was dry, my palms moist, and, to be honest, I was a little scared. I wasn’t as sure of my driving skills as I’d pretended.

At the road, I drove the tractor through the drainage ditch and made a sharp right. The tractor shuddered. I heard a sharp crack, like a big branch breaking off an oak tree in a wind storm. I looked behind me. No wagon.

We have now arrived at my stupid mistake. I had made the turn while the wagon’s front wheels were in the drainage ditch. Physics , stress factors, and gravity took care of the rest.

I drove up to the house. What else could I do? Uncle John was on the porch in his three-generation-old rocker. He said, “Where’s the wagon?”

“Capsized,” I said and explained what had happened.

He smiled, “No problem. There’s new tongue in the barn. Get it. Go back. Put it on the wagon. Set the wagon back on its wheels. Hitch her to the tractor. Load those hay bales and come up to the house. We’ll keep some supper warm for you.” That’s where three hours of back-breaking misery came in.

When I finished I drove up to the house. I’ll admit my aunt’s lemonade was the best ever. Best because it brought an end to a painful August day.

So painful I vowed to anticipate all the “stupids” I might make during my life. And I vowed to learn Uncle John’s other two big lessons so they would be obvious to me in the future:

He thought anger was not productive so he didn’t get angry. I’ve learned he was right.

He did think taking responsibility for and fixing your own mistakes was productive. Right again!

Oh, almost forgot, I did learn to negotiate drainage ditches without tipping over the tractor or the wagon. But, I did not manage to avoid all the “stupids” that have crept into my life.

Copyright 2013 Judith Costello

]]>http://catholicmom.com/2013/11/26/uncle-johns-hay-wagon-or-learning-to-drive-a-tractor-the-hard-way/feed/1Will Heaven Be Uncomfortably Unfamiliar or Familiar and Wondrous?http://catholicmom.com/2013/10/22/will-heaven-be-uncomfortably-unfamiliar-or-familiar-and-wondrous/
http://catholicmom.com/2013/10/22/will-heaven-be-uncomfortably-unfamiliar-or-familiar-and-wondrous/#commentsTue, 22 Oct 2013 15:00:35 +0000http://catholicmom.com/?p=51158Archbishop Fulton Sheen wrote a little booklet about getting to heaven. He said he didn’t think we’d fit in up there unless we have fully prepared ourselves here on earth. I don’t know why, but that idea has stayed with me.

It makes me think that heaven, for the unprepared, would be like going to an exotic place. It is beautiful beyond words and captivating. But what if you don’t know the language? What if the custom and road signs are unreadable to you? You can’t just show up and expect you’ll be able to navigate in this Great Unknown. It could be scary not knowing how to find your way in this place.

But we are guaranteed to find heaven to be wonder-filled and deeply satisfying…when we are prepared. Heaven is being with God—in his Light, Love and Warmth. Saints, like St. Teresa of Avila and St. Thomas Aquinas, found this Presence of God to be blissful and ecstatic. They were lifted off the ground when they experienced just a taste of it!!

So I think it must be that our lives on earth are really a journey of preparation for that real world of Forever!

When we pack for any normal earthly road trip, we get a map; we research everything there is to know about our destination; we find out about the language and pack the supplies we’ll need. With the right preparation, the experience is joyful and rewarding.

***

Will Heaven Be Uncomfortably Unfamiliar or Familiar and Wondrous?

I remember a time when our little girl, Brigit, wanted to take a trip by herself (she was seven and playing out in the barnyard). During the summer Independence Day parade, she had seen a wagon pulled by a team of goats and that gave her an idea. She pulled out a blue plastic sled and two horse halters. She managed to get our unwilling and untrained goats to accept having straps of leather around their heads and chests. Then she attached nylon ropes from the halters to the sled.

When Brigit pulled, the goats went crazy. They ran for the safety of their shelter. But the sled was caught. They jumped around from side to side on top of the sled, tangling the ropes around Brigit’s legs.

The more the goats became frantic to escape, the more the cords tightened around her legs. Brigit was screaming as the cords cut into her skin. Moments before the goats jumped out of their shelter so they could run away down the field, in which case they would have dragged Brigit with them, an “angel” arrived! Her brother managed to cut the cords and release her.

It was a dramatic time. It was a journey she certainly wasn’t properly prepared for! She hadn’t planned. She hadn’t followed any guidance. She hadn’t asked for help. Her “journey” was a complete disaster!

The world is like the goats. Didn’t Jesus say he would separate the sheep from the goats? Goats are much more willful than sheep. When people come to visit, the goats jump into the air and come down with the heads lowered to say, “We are tougher than you.” But when it came right down to it, they were uncooperative with Brigit because they were afraid.

So often in life we want to “do it MY way” without consideration for the damage we may be doing to our souls. How different it would be if we realized that we are lowly sheep who truly need the guidance of our Good Shepherd. What if we were a bit more humble and ready to listen and learn about this spiritual journey ahead of us by more prayer, more study about Jesus, more obedience to the teachings of our faith?

If we will follow Him and prepare our souls with the precious gift of the sacraments, HE will lead us to the open doors of a place called HOME.

In this modern age of instant messages, people say hurtful things and nastiness spreads faster than a wildfire. And then too, we live in a time of moral chaos so that good is labeled as bad. It’s a mess don’t you think?

There are some basic things that can help preserve mental health for all of us…please share these thoughts if you find them helpful:

1) My teenage children both decided not to open up Facebook accounts. I am proud of them for that. They made this decision because they have seen the drama and heard enough of the stories. I think it was the right call. I, on the other hand, thought I should keep up with the community and let people know about my work through various forms of social media. So I signed up. Now I have to tell myself, “Tune it out. Don’t read it all. Focus only on the positive.” It’s hard to do this…I still see the complaints, the gory pictures, the stuff I would rather not see. But I now use the scroll button and try to tune out most of what is posted and to limit time online. This is a discipline that MUST be practiced.

2) There is also a “right ordering to the psyche” that most people in the modern world don’t understand but I learned this from my very wise husband.

The most primitive part of the self is the sensory. Animals follow instinctual behavior based on the senses. We should NOT be basing our lives on that which is purely physical pleasure.

Our senses tend to work with emotions. So we feel passionate about various things. Emotions have a role…enthusiasm is motivating. Joy is uplifting. But emotions can lead to wrong action. Emotions must be held in check by reasoning.

Our intellect is given to us so we can sort through our emotions and our sensory experiences. So we can make sense of the world. But sometimes our minds lead us astray. (This is especially true nowadays because clear reasoning requires education in logic. This is no longer taught…perhaps for a cultural reason.) Our intellect should come under the guidance of faith.

Long ago people understood that Faith/Theology is the highest endeavor. God is beyond anything we can study with normal methods. We can’t fully grasp Him because He is above all that is. So Faith is needed.

When we turn our lives over to God, all the rest of who we are comes in line. The mind, the heart and the senses instinctively long to surrender to God!!! Under the direction of faith, our lives make sense.

3) So how do we let our lives be guided by faith instead of those lower aspects of the self? Prayer and silence are necessary. There are also some other tools: Post reminders and inspiration around the house. An important reminder is this: “This too shall pass!!” No matter how we feel, no matter what doesn’t make sense, no matter how much pain our bodies feel….these states of being are temporary. Sometimes we just have to wait it out. “Let go and let God.”

4) Music can be soothing or inspiring. Carefully choose good music to listen to and be inspired.

5) Remember that we have an abundance of spiritual aids as Catholics: Our angels, the saints, our sacramentals, the rosary, special prayers and the sacraments. Make use of the help that is close at hand!

Mental health means having a mind that reasons past emotions, and emotions that make sense of the physical world. But overall, we need to be guided by He Who Loves Us Beyond All Measure!

The statistics aren’t good. Our young people are leaving the faith. In fact, recent reports say that nearly 80% of young people will leave the Church by age 23. (See Taylor Marshall’s recent post.) Those who stay interested in faith, tend to join Protestant or evangelical churches.

We know that this means we must pray fervently for fallen away Catholics. When we give this situation over to God, we can trust that the Holy Spirit will work on those souls. Some will surely return to the Church later in life.

But just because God is in charge and He can and will continue to work on the souls of all those who have been baptized, this truth does NOT mean we in the Church can abdicate all responsibility for what is happening! We need to look at the “why” and what can be done to be better at passing on the spark and fanning the flame of faith in our young people.

I look around and see that many teenagers aren’t attending Mass regularly. I hear them complain about the catechism programs that are dry and uninspired (they simply endure because they are required by their parents). I see that some of our Churches do not offer opportunities for young peoples’ hearts to be opened through service opportunities or during retreats.

In the meantime, there are Protestant churches that require kids to memorize Bible passages. They challenge young people to deep study while also providing engaging, heart-opening opportunities. By the witness, passion and love that the young people see in adults they begin to see how they too can develop a relationship with Jesus, our Lord and Savior. They are forming communities of young people who encourage each other. The local evangelical church here sent kids and adults on intensive mission trips over the summer. They have challenged those kids to bring the words “Jesus loves you. He cares and so do I” into the public schools.

Meanwhile, Catholics seem to have bowed to the state and so Catholic kids never mention Jesus in public. Catholic teachers at the public schools don’t mention virtue or the Jesus of history, or the need for a moment of silence to pray in whatever way the children desire. We don’t speak out on issues to give a Catholic perspective.

Catholics have relegated faith to a Sunday activity. Faith has been separated from life. And the problem is that a dry, “one hour a week” religion is not a very meaningful one.

I want to sound a wake-up call. Here are some things that need to change:

1) From what I can see, our Catholic youth haven’t been given the tools they need to defend the faith in a crazy world. That is one of the reasons they stay quiet. “Best not to rock the boat because someone might say ‘why do you believe that?’” Our catechism programs need to include lessons in “How to Defend Morals and Faith in the Modern World.” The programs need to include memorizing some Scripture. The programs need to include deep prayer and community building activities. The programs must include opportunities for meaningful service and retreats for deeper reflection.

But, you may say, we as individual parents don’t have any influence. Well, we can speak up. We can volunteer and learn about being catechists. We can write letters to area bishops.

2) As adults we must be a light for young people. They need to see commitment, service, deep prayer and ….joy! We need to become, once again, welcoming communities of love. We need to do more than attend funerals in order to show support for others. Every Sunday there should be greeters and fellowship and prayer time for special requests.

3) Our youth ministers need to understand the issues facing young people and then, recognize that our Church can offer the antidote! That’s cause for joy and celebration, isn’t it?! We have the fullness of truth!

Rather than going along with cell phone distractions, raucous music and quick shifting screen images, we have a classical repertoire to choose from. How about requiring memorizing—that will help their fragmentation and inability to focus. Let’s use classical devotions such as Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament with inspiring speakers before and after. Let’s use classical beauty such as sacred music and reflections on sacred art, combined with opportunities to make their own religious artwork. Let’s use classical fellowship by offering a time and place where teens can step away from all the chaos and have time for silence. These things can be offered with joy and creativity as well as with devotion.

Teenagers are filled with emotion and have trouble bringing the head and heart to work in unison. That is why they need inspirational experiences that will make them cry, as well as historical materials that will give them a solid background in why we believe as we do.

There is no excuse for continuing to neglect our young people in their special needs. The modern world is assaulting them with shameful propaganda that strips away their faith. We must offer appropriate responses.

Here’s my AD: There is an intensive “rock solid” faith study program for kids and adults is available at www.catechismclass.com. Disclaimer: I write for them so I feel passionate about it. But I also know that the materials are traditional, comprehensive and well formatted with a seven step approach that works for home study and parish study.

Other things we can do:

Pray. Give kids sacramentals to wear or carry. Be an example of courage by standing up for our faith. Study apologetics and leave materials around for kids to read. Then pray some more!