The BARES Model of Shifting Emotions

The BARES Model of Shifting Emotions

Be aware of all your
emotions.

The first step is bringing your feelings, emotional
experiences, and attitudes into conscious awareness, recognizing them, and
accepting their existence without judgment.

Are you aware of your feelings? What are you feeling right
now?

You can bring more awareness to your feelings by consciously
focusing on how you feel, and intentionally observing your body and your
breath. Take a moment several times a day to stop and check in with how you are
feeling.

Self-reflection is also an important part of becoming aware
of your emotions. There are many techniques for self-reflection, such as
journaling, meditating, and writing down your dreams. Expressive activities,
such as art and dance, can also put you in touch with emotions that you might
not be aware of consciously.

Accept all emotions
without judgment.

As children, we expressed the full range of our human
experience without suppressing or denying any emotions until we were taught to
repress them. If we are to have the richest experience of our life as adults,
we must return to acknowledging the full range of human emotions.

Are you equally accepting of feeling joy and sorrow, fear
and curiosity, anger and forgiveness? If you could use some help in this area,
explore some practical suggestions for working with your emotions.

Acceptance begins when you give yourself permission to
honestly acknowledge what you feel, without judgment or censure. Practice by
telling a close friend or support person how you feel and ask them for
feedback.

For example, if you have difficulty expressing anger,
identify scenarios in which anger arises and play-act these with a support
person to explore appropriate expressions of anger.

Recognize that you
control your attitudes and behaviors.

It is important to know that you control your attitudes and
behaviors, as well as the expression of your emotions. You have the power to
make conscious choices in your attitudes and behaviors. This includes nurturing
a foundation of healthy self-esteem, based on honesty and compassion.

Consider some questions to help assess your awareness of
your attitudes.

Are you aware of attitudes and beliefs that are
limiting in your life?

Can you identify choices you are making in your
expression of emotions and your behaviors?

Are these choices optimal for you?

Are they leading to your own health and
happiness?

Do the people in your life promote positive
thoughts or do they reinforce your negative limiting beliefs?

Do you believe in yourself in a supportive way?

Express true
emotions.

Learning to honestly express your true emotions and
attitudes in a way that is self-responsible and respectful of others is
essential for your own health. Our emotions and our behavior must align, or we
become frustrated or suppressed. We need to learn to adjust the expression of
our emotions to fit the circumstance, based upon our own sense of comfort and
integrity in the moment-not based upon old messages of how we "should" be from
our past.

True understanding comes when people in relationships can
honestly use feelings as guideposts to growth. Negative emotions are a real
opportunity to enhance self-understanding. These emotions are not harmful if
expressed appropriately, in a timely way, and released. It is just as important
to express the positive emotions, and not minimize or subsume them. Consider
some practical suggestions for emotional self-responsibility.

Shift emotions
consciously

Once you recognize an emotion you are feeling, you may
decide that this particular emotion isn't helpful for you in that moment or
circumstance. This is not to deny an emotion or to avoid processing it later,
if necessary. Rather, it's about making a conscious decision to shift your
feeling state.

Positive feeling states are associated with healthier
bodies, improved thinking, and enhanced decision-making capabilities.
Intentionally invoking a positive feeling state can enhance our ability to
function in our lives. On the other hand, when we are negative, frustrated, or
angry, we tend to lose focus and become less effective.