Though the eternal dark and cold of Nordic winters would prevent me from ever being able to live there, Summer is the pefect time to visit Sweden. Perfect weather, daylight until 11PM, and beautiful people everywhere (regardless of which gender you prefer), all make for a wonderful vacation. Even my sole complaint is sort of a backhanded compliment: it’s too clean. It had an almost antiseptic, sterile quality to it.

But then I also remember the days of living in San Francisco, where homeless people would evacuate their bowels and/or masturbate in front of you. Do we really need that kind of grit to enjoy ourselves? So maybe I shouldn’t complain about a city being sterile, especially when it has great museums, guys who look like Cary Elwes before the last 25 years happened to him, and gave us ABBA.

There is a wide selection of Baltic cruises with Tallink, and I am always up for visiting new cities with as little flying as possible, so we took advantage of a cruise from Riga to Stockholm. While not a luxury cruise, it was comfortable, and a lot of fun. It was my first cruise, actually, and–though I absolutely love exploring new cities and all they have to offer artistically, architecturally, culturally, etc.–it was quite nice to just hang out on a boat, get a bit tipsy (okay, trashed), and destroy my vocal chords singing karaoke. More photos inside, including one of me singing P!nk. I know you all want to see that.

Though first time European visitors may not place former Soviet Baltic countries high on their list of desired destinations, there is plenty to do and learn here. The city of Riga (founded in 1201 AD) carries more than its own share of history and charm. It’s also super cheap, visually stunning, and the throngs of tourists you will run into in London, Paris, or Amsterdam don’t exist here. Yet, anyway. So don’t discount it completely. I was pleasantly surprised by all the city had to offer.

Also, if you like churches and cathedrals, there are roughly 7,000 to check out here. Personally, I’m a bit burned out on stained glass windows and slightly creepy statues of Jesus, but do what floats your boat.

This would have been included in my post about Venice, but I have perfected the art of procrastination to such a fine point that I was still writing the blog entry for that trip when it came time to take the train to the next one. In fact, it may have led to a sweaty dash to the train station and promises about “being more prepared next time” or some other Oprah self-help book crap. In any case, this part of our trip to Venice was so cool it really does deserve its own entry.

WARNING: This blog entry contains entirely unnecessary explicit language. This is not the fault of the Venetians, as both they and their city are absolutely lovely. It’s due mainly to my inability–having been born and raised in a landlocked shithole full of nothing but strip malls and Baptist churches–to be able to grasp the beauty of a city like Venice without throwing around the word “fuck” a few times. So if you’re offended by naughty words, please click here.