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Author
Topic: Found out about two months ago...starting meds tomorrow (Read 2113 times)

I've been wanting to post something on the forums for a while now but with the shock of finding out I'm HIV-positive, the doctor visits, the "what-the-fuck" moments, and trying to function normally at work and with friends, I'm only getting here now.

I'm a gay 26 y.o. male graduate student living in California and found out I am HIV-positive on October 16th, 2013. I had been dating a guy (we'll call him Mark) for about two weeks prior to me finding out and to make a long story short, Mark and I got along really well and really liked each other, had sex, and decided we should get ourselves tested for the whole panel of STIs...just to make sure everything was in line. Obviously, that didn't turn out as well as I would have hoped. I went to my university's health center to get the STI panel (oral swabs, anal swabs, urine, blood) but because the results wouldn't be in for at least a week, I went to the free rapid testing clinic on campus...just so I could have a result in hand.

While waiting for the rapid test to incubate, the undergraduate volunteer who administered the test did her whole spiel about safe sex and transmission frequencies and modes of transmission, etc. I was confident my test would come back negative, as it had previously. But when she said the test was reactive, my whole world shifted. I didn't believe her and made her do two more tests for me. Poor girl, I'm pretty sure I was the first person she had to tell this sort of news to because she looked as scared as I felt.

The first thing I thought about was Mark. How was I going to tell him, someone I was only starting to get to know and someone who I honestly cared about, that I may have exposed him to HIV? I wasn't even thinking about the burden that my health was facing. I ended up driving to his house later that night to break the news (after a lot of crying and talking to a nurse at my health center who had a good history of treating HIV patients...thank God for her words to me). I honestly was preparing for the worst and half expected a punch in the face...but I couldn't have been more wrong. Mark ended up staying with me for the night (nothing happened, don't worry) because he didn't want me to be alone...blew my mind and I am so amazed that happened.

I am starting Truvada and Tivicay tomorrow, December 7th 2013, and have the fullest intention/hope to make my viral load undetectable for the rest of my life. Mark's tests came back negative (thank god) and we are still seeing each other for now. He has been by my side through this entire process. I'm very thankful for him and really owe him a lot...when I think about it, he really saved me. We'll see how things work out.

Anyway, I'll be posting more about specific things later but just wanted to get my story on here. I'm surprisingly hopeful. Like I said, I have my what-the-fuck moments and I've been thinking about my future a lot...but there are a lot of good moments too...and I didn't get punched in the face.