ramblings of an entrepreneurial madman

this is more a post on general reflection. fuck spell check because i dont have time for that shit and i’m writing now that i’m inspired.

my business is growing but not fast enough. we currently have 3 closed deals and a 4th on the way but we want to be doing 20-30 a month, not fucking 4. our marketing is fucked and it feels like everything we do is an uphill battle. you hear these success stories of people talking about how they struggled for so fucking long then it “finally took off,” well what the fuck? this goddamn jet has been sitting on the runway long enough. i have a business meeting tomorrow with the other principals to discuss our current problems and try to find ways to resolve them; therefore tonight i’m staying in and finishing off a bottle of cab.

all this shit drives me fucking crazy because i’m so dedicated and won’t stop at anything until i hit my goal. the thing that pisses me off is that i feel like it SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD… i started this goddamn blog two years ago and was working on various business endeavors for many years prior to starting my blog… in fact, this has been a goal of mine since i moved to Arizona, which happened 7 FUCKING YEARS AGO. What the fuck?!

a million dollars isnt a lot of money anyways so i don’t know why i’m having so much trouble getting there… it sure as hell won’t buy you what it used to.

the company i work for currently, while i’m working on my own business is a perfect example of the type of shit that drives me nuts. its run by a bunch of goddamn monkeys. there is no organization whatsoever and their customer service is a fucking disaster. the company as a whole is one of the most poorly run businesses i’ve ever been a part of, yet they are making millions…

goal was to have 500 properties by the end of 2012 and there is no way in hell that shit is happening with our current setup. we keep spending money testing different marketing avenues and nothing seems to work. its extremely frustrating.

i’ve said this so many times before and $1,000,000.00 is really not what i’m after. its not the fucking money, its the FREEDOM that money provides. the ability to do what you want, when you want. the ability to travel, to enjoy life, to never worry about finances or bills. THAT’s what i’m after…

7 fucking years. i can’t believe it. 7 years and i’m still in the same fucking position i was in when i first moved… unreal.

my only hope is the belief that all of the learning, and struggling, and growing as a man both personally and in business, has made me that much more likely to succeed now, verses in 2005. without that, its like i wasted the last 7 years of my life. i cant think that way. i wont think that way…

it all has to be part of the process right? steps in the right direction? it fucking HAS to be…