Stay free

Normally I will write about Dota because thats what people give a shit about and everything else I have to say you could find another source for, and half the time I write its because I'm bored or looking to write down my notes on things so I can read them later and reminisce. Writing this is more about sharing my journey and hoping that I can change some lives and entailing my struggles so that one day if I have a fat kid he can read this and understand what his or her dad went through. I know I just went through the the Kiev major and we disappointed, but I want to set aside Dota and discuss my health!

I think my weight issues started when I was around 8. I used to be this rail thin kid who had trouble eating, I mainly ate soup and thats about it. Around the time I was 8 though I was introduced to the wonders of korean fast food. I went to Korea to visit my relatives and I was so fucked. I had this thing called a bulgogi burger from Lotteria every single day I was there. I was obsessed with this thing. Its kinda like a long-wise beef burger with this weird teriyaki sauce. I had it when I went back to Korea for Zephyr and it was really mediocre, but as a kid it haunted my dreams. It was the Lindsay Lohan mean girls phase of foods for me. I got unhealthily obsessed with fast food. When I got back I would beg and pine for it all the time and my parents would oblige. Anytime I got an A? Thats a trip to Mcdonalds. Anytime I was sick? Burger King and this thing called a chicken tender sandwich. I started to associate doing well with being able to go and eat out. Slowly I started ballooning in weight and I didn't really know how to stop. My mom was a single Korean mom, and had a hard time staying at home so when she did cook for us she cooked a LOT. My mother, bless her heart, always would get angry if me or my sister did not finish our outrageously large meals. My sister would shove food onto my plate and I'd dutifully finish it. I think this is something a lot of people go through, regardless of cultural upbringing. I don't blame my family, at the end of the day I had a choice, but man looking back it felt like I didn't.

Fast forward to middle school where I got a lot more independence. My mom would give me a few dollars for lunch every day because she was too tired / busy to make me lunch. I got addicted to Sprite. I would drink this stuff with pretty much every meal. A bottle a day or bust since I was 13. It sorta became a meme and kids are weird. I had this idea that I was the Sprite kid and thats how I fit in. I would always be drinking it. At some point if I didn't have it for 2-3 days I'd lose my shit and throw a tantrum. (Editors note: I was a dickhead of a kid, sorry everyone) So now I had the shittiest food habits of all time, did everything I could to get out of exercise, really saw fast food as a source of positive encouragement, and I was really into soda.

I had some really weird body issues, I got into the habit at a young age of wearing a sweatshirt or hoodie to cover up how fat I was. I wasn't really that fat as a high schooler, but going from being this rail thin kid to being chubby really hurt. I think I was the only chubby kid in my friend circle as well. This also became a meme, I was actually voted worst dressed in high school because rain or shine, hot or cold, I was the guy wearing a hoodie. College did not help. I know theres a freshmen 15, but for me it was more like a freshmen 35. I pretty much ate burgers every single day of school without any form of exercise. At some point I had an epiphany that what I was doing to my body wasn't good, I worked out for 3-4 days in a row and tried to quit eating fries anddddd that ended after about a week. I got really into P-90X for ten days and proudly proclaimed I never felt better, then I skipped one day and rationalized that it was only one day! One day turns into 4 years so quickly.

Fast forward to about eight months ago around TI~. As a gamer I have all the excuses in the world for both sides. On one hand I have a lot of free time so I can exercise and do other shit. On the other, I sit on my ass all day and its more convenient to just eat unhealthily. During my time on Liquid, we would eat ALL the time. I think all of us gained like 10 kg (22 lbs). I remember right after TI I saw a photo of myself at Mafia Lan and it was depressing. I put myself on a scale for the first time in ever? and found out I was 102 kg (225 lbs). I am 177.8cm (5'10) and holy shit I felt the weight. I decided at that point I was heading towards a really dangerous trajectory. I am 26 years old, not getting any younger and the longer I put this off the harder it will be. I was having trouble walking up and down stairs, I remember one distinct example, where I was walking across an airport with Soe and Maelk and I was having trouble keeping up and I was trying not to show it but I was absolutely winded after a brisk ten minute walk. None of these things felt great and it was so embarrassing.

I started on August 24th, I decided I would finally change my life for good. I don't know why this time felt different, I outlined earlier some of my struggles, but I left out most of the times I'd try for 2-3 days and quit, which was often. I started by figuring out the stuff that was easiest to change and figuring out ways around them. The first thing I did was telling my mom I was going to eat however much I wanted to eat and that she needed to support that. Then came the soda. Sprite which I had been drinking religiously for 16 years had to stop. Theres probably a Sprite executive wondering where half of his sales went but sorry I'm done. I started getting headaches and shit for a bit, but eventually after a few weeks those went away. After I got used to not having soda I gradually started adding other things in. I realized that my past failures had more to do with me forcing way too many things at once and trying to get immediate results rather then planning for the long term. So doing it step by step was the key here, talk with mom then came soda. After that it was gradually walking around my neighborhood. My neighbor Don would always give me encouragement as did my sister. The first time I ran, and I tracked all this with Runkeeper, I went 0.35 miles before I got winded and quit. In the past I would take this as failure and just stop because whats the point? but this time I told myself that doing bad one day or skipping a day did not mean I had quit it altogether, it meant that I'm human and I get those days. The next day I ran 0.65. 3 days after that I hit my first mile! It took around 14 minutes and I was embarrassed every step of the way, but then I realized nobody really gives a shit except for me. The next step after adding in basic running was the food part.During runs I'd realize anytime I had Wingstop or some form of fast food, I was feeling like shit. I decided not to quit it permanently, but instead of having it 4-5 times a week, I went down to 2. After about a month I went down to one cheat meal a week. I started drinking TONS of water at all times so that I would feel full faster. Want a snack? Get some water.and maybe some fruit. Still hungry during a meal? Pause for about 2-3 minutes and see if you are eating because its a habit or if you actually need more food. Then drink some more water and assess. My general routine now is *Run 2 miles in the morning when I wake up, eat a light lunch, sandwiches or a chicken breast w/ some greens. For a snack I might have a banana or some almonds. For dinner nowadays I eat whatever I want, but I try to eat it in moderation. Most of the time its healthy, some of the time its my moms Katsu. I tried to do things gradually so that they would stick instead of crashing and burning by trying everything at once. Moderation and easing yourself out is the biggest piece of advice I'd give anyone. Oh and stop snacking and eating past a certain point! I stopped eating past 8 pm and I stopped reaching for things. The snacking part was the hardest and if and when you start you will feel hungry all the time, but just try and fight that urge. Having a fixed sleep schedule REALLY helped, instead of sleeping at 3am every night I tried to sleep at 12 so that I didn't build such a hunger curve.

Around the end of October I went to our bootcamp at DC, and started lifting with Reso. Having someone to go to the gym with me and keep me committed really helped out. After practices at night we'd go 6/7 days a week, and we stayed on that for pretty much the last few months. I think I've skipped ten gym days total since I've started. At first it was just some basic stuff like benching and squatting and slowly I added more stuff on top of that. The first few days at the gym were rough, I could barely do the bar when I benched and squats just hurt. I felt really embarrassed by the fact that everyone else seemed so strong, and I thought about quitting frequently. But gradually you start to realize a lot of these things are in your head and that nobody gives a fuck. A lot of the reasons for not working out that I gave myself were based on other people, this idea that someone would judge me, as someone who struggled with self confidence and being so self conscious, exercising and dieting has really helped ease that part for me. Aside from the fact that I can run 2 miles without getting winded, the biggest change is that I don't really care so much what people think, especially about my physical appearance.

Right now, I weighed myself in at a comfortable 162 lbs. I don't really have any weight goals,and thank god I do not have loose skin or any of those issues. I have some stretch marks but I'm working on just getting abs to cover them up, but even then I don't really mind them. They remind me that its a life long journey and theres no real end goal here other then to stay at a normal range of weight. I thank all the dudes on Thunderbirds that helped me stay healthy, Charlie, Cap, and everyone that gave me positive encouragement. If I ever notice anyone losing weight or trying to, I try and say kind words. It's not fishing for compliments, its about knowing that someone out there understands your struggle and is supportive and kind about it.

If any questions or more shit about my routine or just someone to chat about it with feel free to send me a message on here. I left out a lot of shit cuz I gotta go play CS at the BTS office and then eat some lunch.

After reading your journey a liite more than couple of months back i also started giving attention to my body. It wasn't fun being 21 and having no confidence due to being fat. Now in a matter of 3 months i went from 220lbs to 182lbs and am still going strong. The best advise i can give to anyone trying to lose weight is counting calories. I am still amazed that sometimes i would eat 1200 calories in a go and not even feel it. Nowadays i don't even go above 1200 calories for the whole day!. Anyways i hope your journey will help many others like me. Thanks for being part of the dota scene.

Then came the soda. Sprite which I had been drinking religiously for 16 years had to stop. Theres probably a Sprite executive wondering where half of his sales went but sorry I'm done. I started getting headaches and shit for a bit, but eventually after a few weeks those went away. After I got used to not having soda I gradually started adding other things in.

I've trying to quit Soda on and off for about 3-4 years, I don't know how you do it - do you drink any juice or it's straight-up just water? I tried going cold turkey. I tried switching to Ginger Ale before quitting and I tried switching to juice before trying to quit and I always end up going back to drink soda again (or having at least something with sugar in my day - otherwise I feel off and very unsatisfied).

Congratulations again, any advice on quitting soda? I don't eat cookies or pastries, I only like candy and soda or sugar cereal (I managed to quit candy awhile back). When I quit soda, all my meals taste really bland or I get annoyed that all I eat is things without any sugary-taste. A trick I learned was that whenever I want a soda, I should try and drink a glass of water first and that helps a lot.

Then came the soda. Sprite which I had been drinking religiously for 16 years had to stop. Theres probably a Sprite executive wondering where half of his sales went but sorry I'm done. I started getting headaches and shit for a bit, but eventually after a few weeks those went away. After I got used to not having soda I gradually started adding other things in.

I've trying to quit Soda on and off for about 3-4 years, I don't know how you do it - do you drink any juice or it's straight-up just water? I tried going cold turkey. I tried switching to Ginger Ale before quitting and I tried switching to juice before trying to quit and I always end up going back to drink soda again (or having at least something with sugar in my day - otherwise I feel off and very unsatisfied).

Congratulations again, any advice on quitting soda? I don't eat cookies or pastries, I only like candy and soda or sugar cereal (I managed to quit candy awhile back). When I quit soda, all my meals taste really bland or I get annoyed that all I eat is things without any sugary-taste. A trick I learned was that whenever I want a soda, I should try and drink a glass of water first and that helps a lot.

There is an very easy and good way switch to diet . And no its not unhealthy i could you like 10 studies. Bad for teeth and not the best hydration but infinity better then none diet.

The meta-analysis revealed significant reduction in energy intakes when aspartame was used, compared with all types of control except when aspartame was compared with non-sucrose controls such as water. The mean reduction was about 10% of total energy intake……

….As a result, diet beverages might represent the optimal use of intense sweeteners in the context of a weight control strategy. Although they have been shown to be associated with some modest weight loss in RCTs (De La Hunty et al., 2006), intense sweeteners are not appetite suppressants. Their ultimate effects will depend on their integration within a reduced energy diet.

Then came the soda. Sprite which I had been drinking religiously for 16 years had to stop. Theres probably a Sprite executive wondering where half of his sales went but sorry I'm done. I started getting headaches and shit for a bit, but eventually after a few weeks those went away. After I got used to not having soda I gradually started adding other things in.

I've trying to quit Soda on and off for about 3-4 years, I don't know how you do it - do you drink any juice or it's straight-up just water? I tried going cold turkey. I tried switching to Ginger Ale before quitting and I tried switching to juice before trying to quit and I always end up going back to drink soda again (or having at least something with sugar in my day - otherwise I feel off and very unsatisfied).

Congratulations again, any advice on quitting soda? I don't eat cookies or pastries, I only like candy and soda or sugar cereal (I managed to quit candy awhile back). When I quit soda, all my meals taste really bland or I get annoyed that all I eat is things without any sugary-taste. A trick I learned was that whenever I want a soda, I should try and drink a glass of water first and that helps a lot.

Congratulations and well done on the successful effort, it really is quite difficult to make such a major lifestyle change. And you did it quite possibly the most effective way- slow, gradual changes that build on one another until the old habits are completely replaced. I especially like that you pointed out that "failure" on a single day (whether it be missing or doing less for a workout, or a dietary lapse) is not something that should completely ruin your efforts long term. PMA in DotA and in life haha

For the soda to water switch. Bring a water bottle with you to keep water in easy reach (if possible refill with tap water to keep costs down). Don't buy soda for your home or work at all. Simply make water an easy hydration solution compared to the bother of having to go to a shop to get the soda. That way you only have to break it at the purchasing point and not at the habit elsewhere. Doesn't matter if you get it with food when eating out now and then, just cut it from being a multiple times a day thing.

Others find coffee or tea good replacements but it shouldn't be for the entire drinking solution.

Haven't logged into this account in so long lol. Wow, congrats Blitz. A very similar thing happened to me in college/post college. I drank a bottle of Cherry Coke almost every day in my final year in college, and very very regularly the years prior. Peaked at 215 in college, and when I graduated and was applying for jobs I found myself in my brothers (he's a personal trainer) Gym 7 days a week.

I did less work than you, just primarily lifted heavy weights, no running, no cardio for me lol, but by counting calories very closely and lifting every day I dropped from 200 to 170 in a matter of about 2 months. Once I got my job I started fluctuating between 170-178 for the next 2 years before I started ballooning back up again recently to my mid 180's. Started getting my ass back to the gym.

Good job on finding what motivates you and what you can stick with, that's an incredible journey you've gone through in a short amount of time. Keep it up.

I can really relate to the feeling of inadequacy at the gym. When I first started I could only bench the bar and I always thought everyone was staring at me and wondering what I was doing at the gym. I'm glad you realized that no one cares and those who do are just jerks anyway. Everyone goes to the gym to improve themselves, it doesn't matter where you start.