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RIP Tim

Submitted by Vastet on December 22, 2013 - 9:33pm.

My best friend died a few minutes ago of a brain tumour. I already miss him. I've never known anyone I could trust as much as him. Noone else I could comfortably talk to about anything at all. Politics, religion, girls, life, death, stupid shit, important shit.
It was just a few years ago I met him. The time we had was too short. I loved him as I would a brother. Probably more than a brother.
I couldn't be at his side when he passed. The ice storm made that impossible. The taxi companies said they weren't travelling out of town, and I was unwilling to risk anyone else I care for. I know he would have been horrified if anyone got hurt trying to see him when he was sedated and unable to even recognise it, but I still feel like shit for not being there.
I take some solace knowing that the rest of his friends and family were with him. He was not alone.
He was 28 years old. A couple years after we became friends he was diagnosed with the tumour when he started having seizures.

About a year ago the tumour pushed against his optic nerves and rendered him blind. He fought on, not for himself, but for everyone he cared for. I knew him well enough to know this with absolute certainty.
We had many great talks about so many subjects. We laughed together about religious zealots, we raged together about the self serving politicians that hold power. He was always there for me, and I for him. I can't even begin to describe the hole he leaves behind.
He will be remembered, for all my years. He left a piece of himself in me, a piece that made me better than I was without him. Many if not all those who were close to him can say the same.

I miss you man. I'm glad you aren't suffering anymore. But I wish you could still be here. I wish I could chat with you one more time. You knew I loved you, I know you loved me. We both knew this was going to come, and we made sure to say how much we meant to each other. It doesn't make things easier, but at least I won't be haunted by having left anything unsaid.
As the picture above that we'd stare and talk about for hours suggests, we are all insignificant to the universe. But fuck the universe, you mattered to me.

Sorry to hear about your loss Vastet. I can tell from what you have written that you and Tim had a very close friendship.

If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X

I'm sorry, bro. Around the holidays, too. Everything really lame and awful usually happens around this time of year, not that your friend's death wouldn't have been any more or less terrible if it had happened any other time, but certain times of the year can tend to bring out the memories more.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."ObamaCheck out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under BrianJames Rational Poet also on twitter under Brianrrs37

We knew this was coming for some time, but that doesn't make it any easier. Somehow it's a shock just the same.

I knew Tim - a little. He was a gentleman, and very pleasant to chat with. He was also a generous individual, which is increasingly rare in our rather thoughtless world. Considering the blindness, his more and more limited mobility, and the discomfort he was so often dealing with, such kindness makes him someone special. Each little loss must have been something that needed to be mourned, but he gave little sign of these tribulations. I'll miss Tim, and I feel he had to leave far too early. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

My sincere condolences to Tim's family, and his great good friend Vastet. May all of your good recollections keep Tim's memory alive for a long time to come.