The courageous gentleman

The other day I was taking a reflective, pipe-smoking walk around Lake Griffith when I noticed an injured swan across the water. Having introduced many foreign and dangerous creatures from my travels to Lake Griffith over the years, it is perilous to enter the lake or even to go within two fathoms of its perimeter. But did this cross my mind? Of course not! When Griffith sees another creature in distress, he does not hesitate to go to its rescue.

A picturesque view of a quiet pocket of Lake Griffith. Lake Griffith is the 4th largest naturally-occuring, fresh-water, inland lake that is contained entirely on private property in the south-western hemisphere.

So without a moment’s hesitation I dropped my pipe, stripped myself of my waistcoat and brogues and dived forth into the liquid menagerie. I will not go into the details of my battles with monstrous, pre-Jurassic fish or my capture (an subsequent escape) by an underwater colony of (what I previously thought to be peaceful) half-reptile, half-human, half-crustaceans.

While many of the underwater beings were more interesting in tending their garden than capturing me, they were ruled over by an evil despot who feasts on the meat of gentlemen.

But none of this detered me. I finally made it to the other side of the lake and the swan was healed by my gentlemanly touch. The point here is that a gentleman should have a seemingly infinite reserve of courage. The gentleman should be able to summon it at a second’s notice and do what he has to do.

William Shatner will go to any length to protect his sleeping gentlelady from this poorly dressed gremlin.

Courage, in the gentlemanly sense, can manifest itself in many forms. It does not necessarily need to be putting yourself in danger’s way to save a buxom gentlelady. Although this is preferable and normally more rewarding.

Indiana Jones, pictured here, was known for putting himself in perilous situations. His courage was unparalleled and should be held up as a beacon for all gentlemen to strive for. Also, it takes courage to make a fourth film when the script and supporting cast are terrible.

So when you are out on your daily gentlemanly adventures, never hesitate to show some chutzpah. Remember, the masses of the ungentlemanly and anti-gentlemen will cower away and it is the gentleman’s responsibility to save, help and assist wherever possible.