At long last, a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ sequel

Tuesday

May 21, 2013 at 6:00 AM

Liz Smith

‘China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese,” said Charles de Gaulle, with incredible insight.

Fans of Ang Lee’s “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” were caught by surprise when they learned that a sequel is being planned. Thirteen years after the original film debuted, they’d just about given up hope.

But the Weinstein Company has hired Yuen Woo Ping to direct this latest epic — he is extremely proficient in staging fight sequences, we hear. I recall “Crouching” has something to do with stolen swords and people who can inexplicably fly, but otherwise, the details of the plot elude me now. (Well, it has been 13 years!) None of the original cast is returning except for Michelle Yeoh.

If you ask yourself why this sequel is happening, think no farther than China. Hollywood wants to make nice with China. Everybody wants to make nice with China! Moviemakers want to keep Chinese audiences and financers happy. What better way to spread joy than sequeling one of the most adored and iconic Chinese action films ever released? The “reboot,” as it is called these days, will most likely debut in the summer or late fall of 2014.

The film was quite fantastical in itself, but since nothing succeeds like excess, “Crouching 2” will probably be in 3-D, which I find irritating. But then I find obsessive coverage of the Kardashians irritating. You see where irritation gets me?

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Channel surfing on Sunday nights is maddening. There’s “Game of Thrones,” “The Borgias,” “Nurse Jackie” and “Mad Men.” Last Sunday, the Billboard Music Awards were on, too. (I know I should get with it and DVR everything, unless that’s now too early 2000s, and there’s something else even more convenient?) Anyway, as luck would have it, even though I tuned into the Billboard ceremonies only twice, they were the two moments I wanted to see. One was Taylor Swift rocking down the aisle onto the stage doing an energetic version of her hit, “22.” (She ended up with eight awards.) The other woman I wanted to see was Madonna, who accepted an award for her “MDNA” tour — the most successful of 2012. She also picked up two other awards. Of course, the Big M wore something that looked right out of a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog but she looked good. Madonna thanked her fans sweetly: “Without you, I would have no show to do. And every showgirl needs her show!”

I missed Justin Bieber complaining and being booed. Eh, next week, somewhere, I’ll catch that act.