This album has soothed every little world hating thought I’ve had this week.

Oh brain… how you get me every time I’ll never know.

How are you sure of anything? Anything could have made us like this, anything really. Instead of looking up for everything look in you, I’m aware of how corny that sounds but it’s in you, it really is, you either care or you don’t, you all started as good people, yeah you got corrupted by the things that happened to you but so fucking what? We all could have been that way but we chose not to be. I believe that, if one thing makes sense it’s choice, it’s logical and it’s human and it’s about you. No one will save you, no one CAN save you but you and thinking something has changed everything is pretty fucking depreciating to your confidence don’t you think? You make choices and when you finally do the right thing and choose something that changes/improves your life then well done, to you. You can’t tell me you aren’t proud of yourself.

Nothing will ever make me believe it’s god. this was pretty pointless wasn’t it because however much I talk and think that I’m getting somewhere or maybe finding something there’s too much resentment inside me to ever change the way I feel.

You are the reason I think so much and the reason I tie myself in knots trying to understand everything but, it’s ok, I hate you, I’ll always hate you from the bottom of my soul, but thank you, I find me more every time I have these moments.

Got cooked tea, rejected when I said I would wash up, got my route planned for the day, got lifts to and from the station, happy fucking days! I love my cousin.

I’m going back to Portugal on Thursday ^_^ *appropriate level of excitement*

.

I haven’t been in about 4 years, bearing in mind I went every summer, sometimes 3 times a year to the place I’m going Thursday, AND I’m going with people who are the shiznitch- another blog needs to be written about people who are that shit and that I miss, silly Peggle Knight who nearly left me, Lauren, who seems to never leave me, people I nearly left behind and people I fucking loved leaving behind.

.

Right now I miss these two sexpots the most

.

I’m currently being cooked sesame and ginger poached chicken, happy days, I dunno about everything but life is pretty sweet today and I’ll take that ^_^