I received my first ever Valentine's flowers today. They are so beautiful. And the note...It made me cry with the perfect blend of happiness and sentimental longing. I love them-and you- more than you will ever know.

Thank you.And please know that I will always come for your sermons.And I now I could do far worse than dying in your church.

Ok, I need to talk a little bit about Valentine's Day.."But Kitten, despite being romantic at heart you hate the commercialism of it all...and aren't you alone?"

Well, yes...and no. It is complicated in a way and dreadfully simple in others. But this isn't about me yet. It is about others...and their effect on me. See, I have had some shitty relationship. Really shitty. But love hurts...right? It would be easy for me to look at my track record of romantic debacles and become a godless nun. Fortunately I am surrounded by some really amazing couples who constantly take my breath away. They have love for each other that is so strong that it stretched vines out to those around them so they can see love flourish in their lives as well. I want to take a moment to call some of them out and thank them for being in my life. I want to thank them for sharing their love and their lives with me. lepapillonvert and la_muse_vertefierce_rabbit and galbinus_caelikarmalingoist3 and rudebone001victoria_lane and wolverinepitbullpotpie and mr.pitbullpotpiecherrybomb70 and mr.cherrybomb70ashesngolddust and packgrog

There are more wonderful and loving couples in my life. This list isn't to discount any of them. These are just the ones that have had the most impact on me.

And beyond that I want to thank baldsug, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and rubberdux. All of you have shown me more love and support over the years. You have made me keep my head up through so many horrible times. And most of all, you reminded me that my love is important. That is is something to value. And that even if it has ended badly with some that it is something that was never wasted. I am coming more and more to accept that it is ok if "love" ends. Maybe it is meant to do so. And I have known some really great loves. I can look at them all now and be happy for what we did have instead of thinking only of the bad things or regretting what we no longer have. And yes- I did say ALL of them. (Distance gives perspective after all.) And I thank all of them (Dexie, John, Kirsten, Paul, Ty, Scott, Meg, Berny, and Hampton) for being a part of my life then and a part of my heart still.

The greeting card holiday has really gotten me thinking about all of it. All of you...all of them. And letting myself be happy. I have loved.I have been loved.And that is a good good thing.Sure, sometimes I get lonely. I wish for someone next to me in life. Someone who calls me theirs and wants to be called mine. But I also know that I am so very lucky. I am surrounded by love. The love of others, the love of friends.And my love has inspired long lasting beauty. I have inspired poems and stories and music and plays and photographs and paintings....I am a muse. My love has made such an impact on people that they needed to create things that will live long beyond our love and our lives.That is pretty incredible to think about.

Anyway- So here is my Valentine's Day wish for all of you...Find the love.The love of your art..your friends...your families...your work...your lives...This can be an ugly ugly world. It is easy to lose sight of the little things. And it is the little things that matter. So, you might not have a "sweetheart" on this holiday marker. But you are loved.And you do love others.Celebrate it.