(NOTE: This was originally posted on October 19, 2011, well before the 'Houspets Babies!' story arc. Think of my story as a ridiculously depressing alternate universe.This is also an edited (As of 6/25/12) version of the original piece. Adverbs have been done away with, and a few awkward lines removed, altered, or switched around to fit. I hope the changes make for better reading.)

Peanut had never forgotten that hot summer day, though he’d been scared that someday he might.

When he was a young pup, fresh from adoption and placed into strange, terrifying new surroundings, he was too scared to be sociable. Rather, he buried himself into books for young children and daydreamed about valiant knights and distressed damsels. Whenever he needed company, the dog imagined a cadre of make-believe friends – a group of ordinary playmates, perhaps, or brilliant scientists, or brave adventurers; seclusion was drowned and channeled to form eclectic mish-mashes of the psyche. Once in a while, not even that would be enough. Peanut would lie on his bed some days and feel a deep and cutting loneliness that could not be assuaged by his owners, the Sandwiches, no matter how loving they were. After a while, he found the solitude unbearable, and resolved to do something about it. On July 17th, Peanut stepped out into the large, tantalizing world of the Sandwiches’ driveway…

…And saw her; though Peanut couldn't tell at the time. With vivid yellow eyes scintillating in the sunlight, the kitten nevertheless appeared wretched. She lay hunched on the side of the road, her purple and white fur dirty and disheveled in all directions, and her head downcast. She noticed Peanut from the corner of her eye and glanced up, in weak fright.

For several minutes all Peanut did was gaze, wondering what to do and how to act. The feline, distressed, cradled her head between her knees.That was what it took to shake Peanut from his reverie. Stepping forward, and facing no immediate opposition, he sat down next to the kitten – who watched him from her fetal position.

“H-hey,” Peanut said, his social skills and the current circumstance leaving him lost for words. “Are you alright?”

Not a second later, she stopped. Swaying on the dull concrete driveway leading into the house, she shuddered, and collapsed into a heap.

**********

The Sandwiches nursed her back to health soon enough. Touched by her injured state, they vowed to keep her under their wing.

The family bounced back and forth between several dozen names for their pet over the first month or so. Once they even decided on the regal and charming Princess Periwinkle, but that was dropped soon enough – and forgotten for as long as possible. In fact, it wasn’t the Sandwiches’ at all who found the right name for the cat – it was Peanut.

On the last day of August, the pup woke up and was struck with a revelation. Jumping out of bed, he sprinted over to Mrs. Sandwich.

Grape glared for several minutes. Peanut shifted under her gaze, ready to bolt if necessary.

“Sure,” Grape then said, devoid of anger. “It’s a great name.”

Peanut blinked. “Can I go back to sleep now?” Grape asked. Turning around, she closed her eyes. Peanut glanced at her for a half of a second. His wits catching up to him, he ran for his life.

*************

A year passed. Grape – and Peanut – grew more and more outgoing, learning of all the pets in Babylon Gardens. Other things blossomed much faster than relationships, however. During one temperate June afternoon, Peanut sat drawing on the living room coffee table of the Sandwiches. He wasn’t good at it, but he found a certain form of creative release in the act.

That afternoon, Peanut was suffering from a very frustrating lack of ideas. Most of the time, he was full to the brim with them, and sometimes would spend the whole day sketching out whatever he could imagine. At that moment, he had nothing. Sitting on the couch and staring a piece of paper, torn from a notebook on the table, Peanut growled to himself. When ideas finally began to race through his head, they seemed dull. It felt to Peanut as if everything he thought of was an old hat, uninteresting or shallow. The Adventures of Spot, his self-written comic, was too predictable; his earlier brainstormed ‘Dave, the Incredible Pizza Man’ too trite.

After an hour of contemplation, inspiration struck Peanut like a lightning bolt. Not even bothering to think about what he was going to draw, he dived into his work. Frenzied pencil strokes began to form a, to Peanut, magnificent and beautiful shape. Sharp curves and jagged lines seemed to be at the very least almost in the perfect position. Soon the canine was staring at a very personal and breathtaking picture of –

A cat.

Peanut stared at the paper, uncomprehending. He wondered if he had drawn something without purpose. If he was trying to create a masterpiece, why...?

Then, it all clicked. Somewhere deep inside Peanut’s brain, dozens of newborn emotions tumbled out. Some felt strong and overpowering - the majority, however, were weak and confusing. Shaking his head, more puzzled than he had ever been in his life, Peanut picked up his notebook and pencil. Too bemused to think, he ran outside and shut the door.

***************

Around half a minute later Grape entered the house. As she sat on the couch in the living room, about to watch television, something pale caught her eye. It was a solitary piece of paper, badly drawn with pencil and abandoned. It looked kind of like a dog, to her, but with a tail rather odd for a canine. She resolved to hand the sketch to Peanut later.

***************

Later that day, after several confrontations, misunderstandings and soul searchings, Peanut felt something else. It was very hard to detail. In fact, it was almost paradoxical in its sensation – It seemed to both stab and comfort Peanut at the same time.

The emotion symbolized something Peanut had never felt, only read about. The realization of it hit him like a ton of bricks, sending him crashing down on a kitchen chair in disorientation.

Despite common sense, and some pets’ ideas of moral decency, Peanut was in love with Grape.

***************

Passions grew stronger afterwards, concealed in hidden, scribbled-in photos, and masked beneath a psychic girlfriend. Every day, they became harder and harder to control. Peanut would go to bed at nights and feel a crushing emptiness – as if he were a pup again, desperate for a friend. His comics would veer into hopeless and depressing situations, before he threw them away in anger and grief. Peanut would bury himself back into his imagination, and once again spend his days daydreaming of a happier life.

Not all days were so miserable for Peanut. In fact, one day made him ecstatic; it was the day Grape found those scribbled photos, and had already connected the dots well beforehand. It was the day Grape kissed him. Despite being just a mild peck, to Peanut it symbolized a rebirth of hope, and total salvation from tears. For a few days, he began to dream beautiful dreams, ones where he and Grape had picnics and candlelight dinners, and where they chased each other in the moonlight.

Nothing came of it. Grape still kept her boyfriend, Maxwell, and Peanut still wished he had someone by his side every night. He regardless tried his best to be happy, even when he couldn’t. Peanut supposed that at least he was with her, whether as a friend or something more. It was all the consolation he was going to get.

***************

Years passed. Friendships bloomed and withered like flowers over the seasons. Dull shades of grey began to line fur and hair. Childhood games were discarded, or played with a fraction of the energy there had used to be. Grape spent even more time napping on the couch than she used to, and even Peanut’s boundless energy began to wane. Other than lethargy, however, things went on more or less as they always had; the dogs held onto their old rivalries, and the cats kept to themselves, most of the time. The only thing punctuating the mood was the silent notion that so many were starting to run out of time.

Peanut never stopped loving Grape, though they never were together. Later in life, he ceased to feel grief over the missed opportunity – just calm reminiscence. He became content with friendship.

On one July 17th, another hot summer day, Peanut went over to wake up Grape as usual.

Staring, Peanut felt a curious numbness, which grew from the depths of his soul to his entire body.

Grape wasn’t breathing.

***************

A few weeks after the funeral, Peanut took to talking to himself. He would pretend Grape was right next to him, wherever he went. Whenever a problem arose, he would ask for Grape’s help – if Peanut couldn’t find his favorite chew toy, she would point him in the right direction. When he thought of a joke, Grape would be right beside him, smirking. Whenever he cried to himself at nights, she would be the one to hug him, and calm him down.

One Friday, Peanut stopped having conversations with Grape. He went through the day like he used to, playing with friends and daydreaming.

In the afternoon, Peanut sat down on the couch, to draw a sketch. He did not hurry, and he was not done until sunset.

When Peanut was finished, he lied down on the couch. As he closed his eyes, he saw what he had always dreamt of: A candlelight dinner, and moonlight chases with an angel.

Mrs. Sandwich found Peanut an hour later. He had a crude drawing of a cat over his heart, and a smile on his tranquil face.

Last edited by Rollofthedice on Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:41 pm, edited 19 times in total.

Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:56 am

FowlJ

Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:21 amPosts: 81

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

This was quite possibly the most depressing piece I have read on this forum - but at the same time among the absolute best written, save for some little things. I feel it could have been longer and explored the emotional side a little more, but that would have toyed with the rating a little, as it's already quite a sad story.

Grape must have had an illness or something, though, because cats are generally longer lived than dogs, which makes it more sad, if you really think about it - In Rick's universe, cats should live to about forty, and dogs a little over thirty, based on his statements on the matter.

You are an excellent writer, I really must say - I hope to see a lot more of you as time goes on.

Good Work!

_________________

Wed Oct 19, 2011 5:07 am

loomCAT

Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2011 4:21 pmPosts: 91

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

That was so sad... I'm kind of at a loss for words.

Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:20 pm

DoctorDoc

Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:00 amPosts: 22

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

This is the saddest piece of writing I've read here, but it is also probably one of the most well written I have ever read. It takes some good writing to make something with this sort foe motion in it. I did also feel that Peanut's side of it after Grape's death could be explored a little more, but other than that this is amazing, and thanks for writing it.

one thing though. Peanut didn't know Grape was a girl until after the Cat Tail arc.

_________________I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel likeParadigm Shift by meI do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.RP character sheets

Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:36 pm

Rollofthedice

Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:08 pmPosts: 231Location: Texas

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

FowlJ wrote:

This was quite possibly the most depressing piece I have read on this forum - but at the same time among the absolute best written, save for some little things. I feel it could have been longer and explored the emotional side a little more, but that would have toyed with the rating a little, as it's already quite a sad story.

Some scenes took place at about the same time as the comics. I felt uncomfortable taking Rick's lines word for word, so I ended up just paraphrasing. It probably explains the length and slight lack of elaboration.

Quote:

Grape must have had an illness or something, though, because cats are generally longer lived than dogs, which makes it more sad, if you really think about it - In Rick's universe, cats should live to about forty, and dogs a little over thirty, based on his statements on the matter.

Yeah, you're right. I wrote the piece in an entire night - quite literally, as I apparently hate myself - and by the end of the story it was about 4 AM. Some things slipped my tired mind, as a result. It's a good thing I didn't specify their age by the end, in hindsight; it covers up some logical mistakes.

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:

one thing though. Peanut didn't know Grape was a girl until after the Cat Tail arc.

...Wow. I even looked at that comic while I was writing and didn't notice that. I think that's just one sentence to edit, though. Thanks for the heads up.

Everyone, thanks for the replies. I live and breathe off of every comment posted here, whether it's praise or criticism or simple statements.

this fic actually reminds me of one simple things was going to write. I only know of it, because he wrote this to go with it, but I think it goes well with your fic.

simple things wrote:

I remember the nights when I couldn’t sleep, and how I would lie motionless in my bed, listening to the low thrum of the voices whispering from the television set until I had the energy to get up. I’d always find you lying on the couch, a blanket covering your beautiful form. You’d spot me after a few seconds, lift the blanket up and invite me in without a word.

I remember pressing my ear to your chest, searching for the soft drum beat of your heart. It was the only thing that brought me solace on those sleepless nights.I remember how warm you felt against the cold vinyl skin of the couch, and how it made me sweat and shiver at the same time.

I remember how I would turn away from the TV to burrow my head against your arm, attempting to block the pulsing lights the television emitted; yet there was always a dull glow behind my eyelids.

I remember breathing in deeply and being surrounded by nothing but your smell: fresh linen,sweet cherry,faded perfume, light traces of toothpaste...

I remember how you would talk into my short brown hair, telling me about the places you and and mum had gone and the, embarrassing things you said to make her laugh.

I remember staring at that same couch for hours after you had passed.

I remember the emptiness I felt. The emptiness that I still feel.

I can still feel your soul dancing across the veins of the vinyl when I dare myself to lie there without you.

I can still smell the light traces of toothpaste.

I can still hear your heartbeat through the thick sponge of the armrest.

I wont tell Maxwell i wont tell anyone.

I still have the others here with me, maybe someday i will see you again.

_________________I'm a shape-shifter. I'm currently in whatever form I feel likeParadigm Shift by meI do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.RP character sheets

Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:58 pm

Coatl_Ruu

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 9:56 pmPosts: 1451Location: [REDACTED]

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

... I'm contemplating whether I should just chuck my keyboard out the window right now and get it over with. Truly, good sir, I believe you've bested me. So... just pretend I'm shaking your hand, alright?

But on a more serious note, this is very well done. You've managed to capture the emotions involved very well... really, what everyone else said. This is beautifully written. I can't find anything to criticize here (heh, believe me, I tried), so... I guess that's it. Were I wearing a hat, I would tipping it to you right now. Very good work.

No, fan-fiction writing isn't a contest. No, I'm not actually going to chuck my keyboard out the window. Yes, it's just funnier to imply that both of these things are true. =P

Well done as always, roll. I always enjoy what you come up with. I hope to see more as time goes on. You need to continue writing. Seriously, you are good.

One little mistake. When Peanut is talking to Mrs. Sandwich about the name of grape, you called her Mrs. Peanut once. I don't think Mr. Sandwich would be happy with that. mr. Peanut on the other hand...

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:16 pm

Rollofthedice

Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:08 pmPosts: 231Location: Texas

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

It's been eight months since I wrote this fic. Only a few days ago did I re-read it. In doing so, I happened to have found quite a deal of grammar and syntax issues.

Thus, I've done some extensive editing. The storyline of Reminiscence has not changed, only its readability. Enjoy!

I just read it and it was very well done. Although you could have expanded on a lot of stuff to make it even more emotional. However, I can't really find anything wrong with it. It makes me wish that I read this when you first wrote it, but I didn't find Housepets until about three months after this I think.

_________________The best cymbal player ever has spoken.

JeffCvt is a copyright of jeffcvt inc. and not to be reproduced without the express written consent of CBS and jeff cvt.

Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:10 am

copper

Puppy Wrangler

Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pmPosts: 6352Location: Florida

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

Quote:

even Peanut’s boundless began to wane

You forgot to put in energy there.

Quote:

He would pretend Grape was right next by him

should be next to him, no?

The last line, although ending the fic, is not necessary. You would have a much powerful ending by ending it on the dream, and adding something like He wished it would last forever, and as he fell asleep for the final time, it did...

I find this one of the better fics on the forums. It finds the balance between not explaining enough and explaining too much. Yes, it could have added to certain parts, but that would make the whole lose the impact it has as a one off... it is near perfect in it's simplicity and it hits it's point without useless or unnecessary detail. It is streamlined into exactly what it needs to be....

_________________My charactersEverybody has a story to tell. What's yours?

Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:38 pm

Rollofthedice

Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:08 pmPosts: 231Location: Texas

Re: Reminiscence - A Tale of Dreams (PG-13)

JeffCvt wrote:

I just read it and it was very well done. Although you could have expanded on a lot of stuff to make it even more emotional.

That's been a common complaint, and I attribute it to the situation I was under at the time. I had written Reminiscence in the dead of night, during a school week, and to top it all off was crying like a baby by the time I finished it four hours later. (In fact, I had to skip school the next day, due to how bad I felt afterwards.) I don't think I was in the right state of mind to elaborate, truth be told. I just told the story, writing whatever popped into my head.

Quote:

However, I can't really find anything wrong with it. It makes me wish that I read this when you first wrote it, but I didn't find Housepets until about three months after this I think.

Thanks a lot!

copper wrote:

Quote:

even Peanut’s boundless began to wane

You forgot to put in energy there.

Quote:

He would pretend Grape was right next by him

should be next to him, no?

Ah, thanks for the catch! I need to learn how to proofread better.

Quote:

The last line, although ending the fic, is not necessary. You would have a much powerful ending by ending it on the dream, and adding something like He wished it would last forever, and as he fell asleep for the final time, it did...

Well, I'll concede the point about it being unnecessary - a bit of an amateur mistake, really - but in my defense, the line was meant to feel final, and absolute. I wanted the reader to read that last sentence and think that nothing more needs to be said, that the curtains had closed. I couldn't bring myself to write 'And so Peanut died. The End'. Neither did I want to jot down some weird happy ending where Peanut ascends into the afterlife/dreamscape and has eternal Grape picnics. I just wanted the story to finish, irrevocably, with as much succinctness and decisiveness as my skills could handle. Whether I succeeded or failed at that is up to the reader.

Quote:

I find this one of the better fics on the forums. It finds the balance between not explaining enough and explaining too much. Yes, it could have added to certain parts, but that would make the whole lose the impact it has as a one off... it is near perfect in it's simplicity and it hits it's point without useless or unnecessary detail. It is streamlined into exactly what it needs to be....

As a beginning writer, you have no idea what that means to me.

My philosophy is that a good writer of prose effectively shows what his or her characters and set pieces are doing, without interruptions. Hearing praise such as yours is incredible. It means that I have done my job as a writer, and done it with competence.

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