daughter's married life problem need solution

we married our daughter to a decent family in our relation. all goes well until a month of marriage after that she is blaming all her relations in her maamiyar home.

she is not moving smoothly with them, haves verbal fights and ignoring them and insulting them badly. i am so much sad to here from my son-in-law.

yesterday he phoned and said this to me. i am very much worried, i don't know what to say and also feeling very shame about my daughter. what can i do now how can i advise her to behave properly and make her life smooth in her in laws home.

Re: daughter's married life problem need solution

Sister @vei,
First try to visit her in her in-laws house. See how she behaves. After that either invite both her and ur son-in-law for a short visit to your place.

When she comes over , slowly start the conversation. Never ever disclose the fact that her husband complained to you. You may have to lie to her, that her husband and in-laws, never ever complained anything about her, even though you noticed her disrespectful act.

Also tell her that you trusted her so much about getting appreciation form her new family and relatives. And if the reality is not the same, then she must be having some discomforts or something else, which if she opens up it might be solvable. Mostly the problem is that real life might not be matching her expectation. As newly wed she might be expecting privacy, etc., If her expectation is not practical, make her understand it. If it is practical, ask her to remain patience, and whatever might be the issue, verbal abuse is not acceptable. She should clearly understand that her actions not only degrade her, but also her parents. Once she loses her respect in in-laws family, it is even harder to earn it back. She cant earn her husbands love too.

Before you start this conversation prepare yourself mentally. You should never get emotional. There should be more listening than talking.

This is just a normal initial adjustment problem. She will be fine soon.