When you think to yourself, “I just cannot stop eating,” that is like typing that sentence into a Google search box and hitting “enter”. You’re going to get 94,900,000 search results in 0.47 seconds. (Yes, 94,900,000 search results in 0.47 seconds. I tested it. Don’t argue with me.)

Let’s say your mind is not quite as fast or extensive as Google. Let’s say it comes up with 100, 50 or even just 10 examples from your life when you thought you just couldn’t stop eating. Now your mind is filled with (and maybe fixated on) what passes for “proof” that you cannot stop eating. And “proof” begets more “proof” because our thoughts are very magnetic.

As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

You see, it’s not because either thought was inherently true at the outset, but because the mechanism of your magnetic mind helped you make the initial thought “true”.

Why not take advantage of that mental characteristic for your own benefit.

Here’s a thought for you, “I’ll bet I could totally stop eating.” Put that in your mind’s Google search engine and hit return. (The sooner the better.)

3. Ask yourself: What is actually true?

Ask this powerful question in order to separate fact from fiction. If you do, you’re liable to come up with some amazing new perspectives:

– Sometimes I’d rather eat than feel angry (or sad or lonely or bored, irritated, restless, inadequate…you get the picture).

– I have preferred over-eating rather than facing what I feel when I’m not over-eating.

– I am the one who decides what I eat.

– I am responsible for what I eat.

– What I eat is a decision I make.

– How much I eat is my choice.

– I don’t like feeling out of control around food.

– It is possible for me to make a new choice.

When you phrase it like this (I just cannot stop eating), you’re telling yourself:

– I’m powerless (to the food, to the over-eating, to something that “comes over me”).

– This is bigger than me, stronger than me, more powerful than me.

– I’m weak, and it’s strong.

– There’s nothing I can do.

This is false. (Remember #1).

Take back your power.

Take back the Truth.

I’m working on a class that will help you take your power back during the Holidays and help set you up for the New Year. We could have the chance to work together very soon. How exciting!

P.S. In a day or two I’ll be replying to a reader who felt desperate for help with losing weight. Stay tuned if you’ve ever felt that way, too.

Want More Great Resources?

]]>http://cjblaquera.com/2016/11/ever-thought-i-just-cannot-stop-eating/feed/05070In January, I was freaking out and desperatehttp://cjblaquera.com/2016/11/in-january-i-was-freaking-out-and-desperate/
http://cjblaquera.com/2016/11/in-january-i-was-freaking-out-and-desperate/#respondMon, 14 Nov 2016 14:00:44 +0000http://cjblaquera.com/?p=5063I know how it feels to feel freaked out because you can’t seem to stop overeating.

I know the quiet panic of watching the scale climb to numbers you never thought you’d see.

I know how desperate it feels to know so much about food and diet and, yet, not feel able to figure out how to actually apply and benefit from what you know.

I know this because in January that’s exactly how I felt.

I now also know the pleasure of sharing that my weight loss total for this year just hit the 35-pound mark.

More than that, I am so pleased that, when I attended a party last Friday, I was comfortable in my skin, confident, and willing to be seen as my real self – not as a preconceived, manufactured version of myself that I thought people would like better than the real me.

Oh, and…there’s this.

I know the relief and comfort of not being preoccupied with worry over what people would think of how I looked. Miraculous!

In reviewing that Friday evening, I’m so grateful for how far I’ve come.

In the past, a party felt like signing up to be in a room full of judging eyes. Usually, I would cringe when I received a party invite, immediately working on some kind of excuse to not attend.

This time was different though.

I was enthusiastically looking forward to going.

I wanted to experience the joy of connecting with others, meeting new people, and also becoming better acquainted with some of the people I already knew. That’s quite a departure for me.

And so is this…I didn’t hide.

In fact, I was present, engaged, and willing to risk being seen as exactly the person I am. I didn’t feel the need to be vivacious, exciting, interesting or seem “better” than I actually am.

I was willing to be me. Ordinary. Human Being. Me.

As my lovely friend described a similar feeling recently, I experienced the “relief of being me.”

Now, this “party” experience would not have been possible just 10 months ago.

At the beginning of the year, I was tipping the scale at my Highest. Weight. Ever. 207 pounds.

I was freaked out. Desperate to lose weight. And alternating between judging and shaming myself inside my head. Not only was I feeling like a failure as a person because of my weight, but I was predicting a bleak professional future as a weight loss coach as well.

What I know is that when I take action from a place of freak out and desperation, the results are not going to be pretty. The truth is they will just lead to more freak out and desperation.

For me, what is useful is finding a way to feel better right now in this red hot minute without having to lose a single pound. And doing it over and over again.

(That is no small feat. In fact, it’s a hard won skill. And that is exactly what I help my clients with – shifting their momentum in the face of all those extra pounds.)

When I’m freaked out and desperate, my inspiration, ideas and inclinations arise from fear.

However, when I find a way to feel better (even slightly better), I receive better inspiration, better ideas, better inclinations.

Slowing down the constant stream of negative voices in my head and even taking moments to breathe deeply allowed me to pause long enough to start applying the wealth of knowledge I had accumulated.

Practicing what I preach changed everything.

Moment by moment, choice by choice, I shifted from tidal waves of freak out, desperation, self-judgment and shameful recriminations to much calmer waters filled with ease, optimism, inspired action, and confidence in my ability to course correct.

This is a path you can walk. These are choices you can make, too.

I want you to know it’s possible – not just for me – but for you, too. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

You give me fever.

I’m so inspired by these Olympic athletes who set a goal, invest their hearts and souls, and overcome adversity to compete at the hallowed Olympic Games.

Here are my favorite Olympic quotes from this week’s competition along with how I think they can help each of us on our path to our natural weight.

Announcer:

“What does it feel like coming from Gold and Bronze at the London Games and a whole lot of pressure? What does it feel like to come here and medal?”

David Boudia, Silver Medalist, Synchronized Diving, Rio:

“I just think that in the past there’s been an enormous amount of pressure, and I’ve felt it. It’s just an identity crisis. When my mind is on (competing) and thinking I’m defined by this, my mind goes crazy. But we know that our identity’s in Christ.”

1. How this relates to weight loss:

When you think you’re defined by your body, then being overweight is riddled with crazy-making.

Whether it’s Christ, Buddha, Something Greater Than You, Your Eternal Self, The Divine or God. Whatever you call it – if you remember that this is the Source of Your Real Self, you can eliminate a lot of the crazy your mind kicks up.

After interviewing David Boudia (a veteran diver), they interviewed his rookie diving partner (20 years old) who was attending his first Olympic Games.

Announcer:

“How were you able to maintain your composure so well?”

Steele Johnson, Silver Medalist, Synchronized Diving, Rio:

“I think the way David just described it was flawless. The fact that I was going into this event knowing that my identity is rooted in Christ and not what the result of this competition is just gave me peace. It gave me ease, and it let me enjoy the contest.

“If something went great, I was happy. If something didn’t go great I could still find joy because I’m at the Olympics competing with the best person and the best mentor, just one of the best people to be around.

“So God’s given us a cool opportunity, and I’m glad I could come away with an Olympic Silver Medal in my first ever event.”

2. How this relates to weight loss:

If the scale shows that you gained weight, you can still find joy because you’re on the Planet having a glorious experience in human form. This is what you came for. Rejoice and be glad in it.

Olympic Innovator, swimmer Ryan Lochte

Announcer:

“Even with 11 Olympic medals, Ryan Lochte is still looking for ways to go faster. Working with Coach Dave Marsh, he’s developed a new turn when swimming freestyle. It makes the most of his speed as a backstroker and helps him stick out in a crowd.”

While other swimmers are making their turns at the wall in the longstanding fashion (a somersault into the wall and kick off), Lochte approaches the wall and maneuvers himself onto his back, kicks off the wall, propels himself forward under the water, and then flips back onto his stomach before reaching the water’s surface and continuing to swim.

Totally odd. Utterly unique. Counterintuitive. And absolutely working for this 2016 Olympian.

3. How this relates to weight loss:

Your path will not look like anyone else’s. It is yours, and yours alone.

You will probably need to blaze your own trail. Break with the pack.

Be willing to make adjustments that suit your own personal strengths. Innovate. Come up with something new that works just for you.

This might mean you order differently at restaurants, travel with a food or body weight scale, or stick to water and carrot sticks even though everyone else is “celebrating” with birthday cake and ice cream. Or it might mean something else entirely. Be creative!

Oh yeah, and having a coach to help you (like Lochte did) can help a lot. (See what I did there!)

Now let’s head out to the sand for some women’s beach volleyball.

Announcer:

“(Kerri Walsh Jennings) looks at everything as a challenge. Volleyball, being a mom, etc.”

Kerri Walsh Jennings, Olympic Beach Volleyball Goddess:

(After winning a match to advance to the next round): “The mindset and the heart were perfect. The technical stuff we’ll clean up.”

4. How this relates to weight loss:

Kerri was exuberant and energized as she said this – as if all was well. She was totally excited.

Here’s the thing. She knew that the number one priority was the mindset and heart. With that in place, she felt immensely confident moving forward. The technical stuff was a small matter given that the major players (mindset and heart) were perfectly aligned.

That’s exactly true in successful weight loss as well. The technical stuff (diet and exercise) can easily be tweaked when the mindset and the heart are in perfect order.

Most people forget about this entirely or don’t understand their importance in the first place. This is unfortunate because it makes the technical stuff grueling and so much harder than it needs to be.

(If this is you, call me. This is my specialty – helping my clients get their mindset and heart in alignment.)

And lastly, I love this quote from Aly Raisman, gymnast and four time (so far) Olympic Medalist:

One of my selections was Fittest on Earth – The Story of the 2015 Reebok CrossFit Games.

It documents a series of grueling events that test physical strength, endurance, and mental stamina in order to crown the Fittest Man and Woman on Earth.

This competition is No. Joke.

At the outset of the documentary, we hear an announcer share that Katrin Davidsdottir (Iceland), who led after Day 1, had a disastrous Event 5, in which she placed 24th. This dropped her to 7th place in the overall standings with 8 more events to go.

As they show footage of her falling to her knees and breaking down in a fit of tears under the hanging rope she had attempted to climb, another commentator goes on to say:

It was heartbreaking to see what happened to Davidsdottir.

She didn’t just die physically, like the strength of her forearms and pulling, but kinda mentally as well. She was on the ground under the rope. (She) still had time on the clock.

I see a direct parallel to the weight loss process.

It’s not that we don’t still have time on the “weight loss” clock.

It’s that we die mentally.

We say to ourselves:

I can’t do this anymore.

What’s the use?

There’s no point. I’ve already blown it.

It’s just not in the cards for me.

There must be something wrong with me.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m sick of this.

F@ck it.

I can totally relate because I’ve done that, too. (How about you?)

And I’ll tell you where that leads.

It leads to higher and higher numbers on my scale.

I shared recently that I had hit a plateau – for seven weeks as it turns out. I’ll tell you that during that time I certainly said “I’m sick of this” a few times.

The difference is that I heard my mind say it, and I followed up with this:

I’m even more sick of saying “F@ck it” and then gaining a bunch of weight back.

And that is the Truth.

I’m more sick and tired of throwing in the towel and flushing a bunch of progress down the toilet and sending a bunch of sugar down my throat and re-gaining weight AGAIN!!! than I am sick of managing that “plateau”.

You can’t be afraid of failures. I don’t think you’re going to succeed in anything if you’re afraid of failing at it. You gotta be willing to take the risks.

She went on to win the Games that year. (And the next year, too).

And you can win your Weight Loss Games.

Failure is part of the process. Always will be.

If you’re worried about crumbling in a teary pile on the floor, that might be a problem.

Because you probably will. Crumble, that is. In your own way. At certain points along the path.

Perhaps when you least expect it. Like with Katrin. (And with me – though my version looks a bit different and feels like a vice gripping my head as my mind insists relentlessly that I am a complete loser.)

But that impromptu breakdown was just a stop on Katrin’s way to prevailing. To succeeding. To standing on the podium as The Fittest Woman on Earth (two years in a row).

If you’re not at the weight you want to be…

If it’s taking longer than you EVER expected…

There will be more challenges. There will be trials and tribulations.

That doesn’t change anything.

Keep. Moving. Forward.

Like Katrin did.

And like I keep doing.

Best,

CJ

P.S. Want some help picking yourself up after a blow to your weight loss journey? I can do that. Schedule your Discovery Session now.

He wanted me to wait in the car while he ordered (so that I wouldn’t be “tempted” – I would later learn).

Maybe he thought I would be tempted because there was a time when a trip to McDonald’s meant that, without question, I would be ordering the following:

Caramel Frappe (medium, with whipped cream)

Chocolate Chip Cookies (three warm and gooey ones, please)

I had decided that sitting at a table inside the restaurant, rather than eating out of his lap while on the way to Best Buy, was a much better choice. So minutes later I joined him in line at the front counter.

While standing in line, my gaze landed on the plexiglas cookie stand that sits on every McDonald’s front counter – the very same one that had beckoned to me every time I entered.

(Yes, they planned it that way.)

I had had their cookies periodically but over a year and a half ago I began eating them regularly.

I had decided to not only sign up for monthly yoga classes, but had also taken to stopping by the local McDonald’s on my way to class to place the aforementioned order, and then suck down liquid sugar while eating my dietary Achilles Heel – chocolate chip cookies.

After about the third visit to McD’s, I thought to myself:

Better be careful or this will become a habit.

Throw in thoughts like “just this once” while pulling into a McDonald’s parking lot, and you have the makings of a full blown habit.

Which it DID become.

“Going to yoga” was synonymous with a pre-class regimen of a Caramel Frappe and chocolate chip cookies.

(No. The irony is not lost on me.)

This groove deepened when I moved from Los Angeles to Central California and made weekly trips back and forth for 3 months. Our pit stop (in each direction) was always one of two McDonald’s (depending on when our bladder’s started calling).

While I did order a burger and fries periodically, Caramel Frappes and chocolate chip cookies remained the star players, never missing an appearance.

This was my McDonald’s Habit.

It was Pavlovian.

The Golden Arches signaled that a Caramel Frappe and three chocolate chip cookies would soon be going down the hatch.

So back to Tuesday…

As I stood there in line with my eyes aimlessly moving from the kitchen staff, to the parking lot outside, to noticing the differences in this McDonald’s versus other McDonald’s, to the customers who came and went, my gaze landed on the cookie stand.

I stared at them with absolutely no desire to purchase or eat them.

I felt nothing.

There was no pull. No tug. No pangs at all.

It wasn’t a notion.

It wasn’t a desire.

The fact that I didn’t even notice them for several minutes is miraculous.

They were as neutral to me as the napkin holder and stainless steel countertop.

How did I go from My (former) McDonald’s Habit to a completely blasé response?

Since mid-March of this year, I had been steadily practicing entirely new habits:

Eliminating sugar and processed foods from my diet (yes, with some deviations for “special occasions”)

Eating only 3 meals daily

“Committing my food” by writing down (every evening after dinner) what I will eat the following day

By the time I walked into that McDonald’s on Tuesday, I had been following the above three guidelines for over four months.

Therefore, a new non-Caramel Frappe, non-chocolate chip cookie habit had taken hold.

It felt so significant.

Standing in line at McDonald’s, I was able to lift my head from the day-to-day “grind” of “eating on plan” and receive a welcomed wave of self-appreciation for the beauty of a habit I had forged, choice by choice, moment by moment, over the last four month period.

My work had gifted me with the power of a positive habit that made McDonald’s effortless.

I felt strong. Empowered. And amazed at my progress.

What habit could your Current Self build that your Future Self would thank you for?

­

It’s worth considering.

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http://cjblaquera.com/2016/07/building-and-breaking-my-mcdonalds-habit/feed/04985What To Do When You Hit a Plateauhttp://cjblaquera.com/2016/07/what-to-do-when-you-hit-a-plateau/
http://cjblaquera.com/2016/07/what-to-do-when-you-hit-a-plateau/#respondFri, 22 Jul 2016 21:59:50 +0000http://cjblaquera.com/?p=4971I weigh myself daily and log my weight on a chart on Wednesdays.

So what’s a woman with a goal to do? Especially when I just want to say, “F@ck it.”

1. Re-assess the Situation

My automated pattern is to think: “I’ve been stuck here for weeks.”

It has been helpful to check in on the accuracy of that statement.

Looking deeper, the past 5 weeks have included about 6 special events such as the Fourth of July (when family visited), a funeral (which took me out of town for several days), a monthly lunch gathering of local coaches, and a family reunion (which took me out of town again for a few days).

My weight went up and down all throughout those weeks. It actually wasn’t stuck at all. It was responding to my choices and actions every day, like it always does.

During this timeframe when my weight went up a couple pounds, I’ve resisted the urge to say “F@ck it” and start eating with abandon. (This isn’t always the choice I make.)

Had I gone with the “F@ck it” urge, my weight would most definitely be higher than it is today.

Therefore, my new assessment is that, given the events of the past 5 weeks, my current weight does not mean “I’m stuck” or that “I’m a failure”. This weight means:

I’m making progress.

2. Stop thinking “I should be there by now.”

In this case “there” is being in the 170’s.

In reality, all of these weights feel pretty much the same in my body: 178, 182, 188.

The difference comes in when I introduce expectations and deadlines to my weight loss process. Everything changes emotionally based on how I’m perceiving the weight and the process via my mind.

Which brings me back to the thought: “I should be there by now.”

Says who?

My mind. That’s who.

And my mind is causing me to feel frustrated, annoyed and dejected.

On the other hand, my body is simply showing me that I should not be in the 170’s now because I’m 181.4.

I should weigh the exact amount that I weigh (in any given moment).

I will get there when I get there.

When I get there, I’ll know I should be there – because I am.

3. Ask yourself “Does this change anything?”

Here’s what is true:

I like the progress I’m making.

I’m exercising more than before.

My body is getting stronger.

I’ve lost about 25 pounds so far.

I’m eating way more fruits and vegetables than before (and almost no added sugar, flour and processed foods).

I prefer being on this “plateau” to being 5-7 pounds heavier like I might be if I hadn’t been aware during the past 5 weeks (and followed my plan to the degree that I did).

I prefer how my body feels now as compared to when I overeat and create reflux-type symptoms and indigestion.

So back to the question…”Does this plateau change anything?”

Should I stop exercising?

Should I stop meditating?

Should I stop excluding sugar, flour and processed foods?

Should I stop journaling my food?

Should I stop any of the other healthy choices I’m making?

The answer is no.

4. Ask yourself “What can I learn from this ‘plateau’?”

What information can I gather?

What can I learn from this data?

Here’s what I’ve learned from this ‘plateau’ data:

What I’ve been doing in the past 5 weeks has resulted in a relatively stable Wednesday weigh-in weight.

Deciding that I can eat whatever I want during “special occasions,” usually results in weight gain (and that’s always fun).

Proceeding with this mindset will delay or prevent me from reaching my goal.

If I don’t want this delay, I will need to make different choices.

Life is constantly handing me “special occasions,” and I’d like to find a more satisfying approach to “special occasions”.

Practical Tip: Two weeks ago when I went out of town for a family reunion, I weighed myself daily. This showed me my true day-to-day trajectory.

This kept things real and pragmatic, rather than having me indulge in magical thinking such as this:

“Maybe I’ll be having so much fun during this family reunion, that I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight.” (Don’t judge. Tell me you’ve thought wacky stuff like this, too.)

Anyhoo, weighing myself daily resulted in a 0.2 pound loss after 4 days out of town during a family reunion!!! That is a raging success. (See what I mean about #1 Re-assess the Situation).

If left to my mind’s own devices, I would have said, “I’m not going to watch what I eat. Instead, I’m going to enjoy myself” (as if the two were mutually exclusive).

They aren’t.

I said “no” to the M&M’s and “yes” to enjoying my visit with family. Win-win.

With feeling powerless over food. With beating myself up because I’m not doing better even though I know better.

As a weight loss coach, I’ve got a ton of knowledge and tools, and still…I’m finding my own damn way on this weight loss journey.

Below are 9 Ways I’m Making Peace With Weight Loss.

It outlines the freak out I had (recently – I might add) at having reached my personal top weight and what I did that resulted in losing 24 pounds.

1. I deliberately created new internal momentum that changed my trajectory from weight gain to weight loss, from hope-less to hope-full.

At the beginning of the year, I was tipping the scales at my highest weight ever – which was 207 pounds (give or take a few ounces – but who’s counting).

However, my new momentum took me from desperation, panic and despair about my weight and out-of-control eating to currently feeling enthusiastic, clear and incredibly optimistic about my future true fitness.

It wasn’t easy, and it took a while. But damn! I got there.

While significantly higher than the goal weight for many women, I see weighing 183 pounds as a significant achievement. I appreciate what it took from me to now be at this weight.

And…the more I appreciate (myself) the easier the journey gets.

2. I’m not grasping for a quick fix (which surely would have failed – sooner than later – anyway).

Instead, I opted for the slow, authentic, deeper work that is much like the turning of a gargantuan cruise ship or freight liner in the middle of the ocean: slow and steady.

It doesn’t happen in an instant, but every shift I make affects my destination.

3. I’m not gritting my teeth and enduring a horrible diet to lose weight. I’m focusing on what I really want.

My transformation has taken effort and focus but has been free of the need for (hard to maintain, strong-armed) will power. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the shift would be effective, long lasting, and satisfying if it was based on creating what I wanted – which was freedom, ease, self-acceptance, reverence and true fitness on all levels – versus being based on what I didn’t want (feeling that I was a weak, unacceptable, fat failure who was below the “cultural standard” of beauty).

4. I’m revved up about brain health and am inspired to set the stage for my own optimum, long term brain health.

It’s amazing what can turn you “on”. I now realize that brain health is definitely a value and a top priority for me. What the heck does this have to do with my weight?

Well, it turns out that what’s good for the brain is good for the body (see #5).

Weighing 183 pounds as opposed to 207 pounds means I’m headed in the direction I want to be going. Brain and body health here I come!

5. I’m not eating sugar, gluten or processed foods and physically feel the best I have in at least two years.

My brain is no longer hijacked by sugar, flour and processed foods which feels like freedom. Contrast this with just a few months ago when I was mired in sugar dependency and panic:

How can I call myself a Weight Loss Coach (a Master Weight Loss Coach, no less) when I can’t even control myself?

Will I ever lose this frickin’ weight?

Further…(professional mortification aside), I didn’t see any end in sight to my out-of-control eating nor my sense of hopelessness. No matter how many life coaching skills I had under my – ever increasing – belt, I wasn’t applying them. To top it off, I was beating myself up which was only making things worse.

Choosing to eliminate the foods that degrade brain function along with feeding the reward centers of the brain goes a long way toward a physiological, mental and emotional feeling of freedom from food.

6. I am trusting the process.

I am trusting that change happens incrementally. This allows me to be patient and weather the ups and downs on the scale (and in my mind) that come with any weight loss journey.

True fitness wasn’t really a factor as long as it looked like I was fit (or in control). However, at long last, fitness on all levels has become important to me: mental, emotional, spiritual and, yes – most definitely, physical. (After all, physical fitness is a key contributor to quality of life).

This is a far cry from the hopelessness and futility I was feeling as recently as the turn of the new year. In fact, that leads me to #8.

8. I am more clear than ever as to what my real fitness goals are.

I wanted to be free of the rollercoaster. Free of the misery. Free of the self-rejection. Free of the desperation. If you look closely, my former goals were really about what I wanted to avoid as opposed to what I want to create.

That left me clearly focused on the problem. Not the solution.

And that is a problem – especially when you want to create long term freedom.

9. My current path feels truly inspired.

Halleluja, baby!

Years ago the Universe emphatically proved to me that it always has its loving gaze focused on me. (I’m not special in this regard by any means. The Universe also has its gaze focused on you, too. Every one of you.)

Each of us has the Universe’s most beautiful and expansive attention at our service. Sometimes I forget this but, oh, is life sweeter when I remember it and live from it.

This is the Guidance that I have relied on and tapped into most recently on my weight loss journey.

Am I at my goal weight?

No.

Have I achieved all my fitness goals?

Not yet.

Am I closer to achieving what I want based on this new momentum I’ve created?

Yes.

By far.

And this is the most important work of all. The value of momentum cannot be over-stated.

The work that is most important in creating anything is the work that cannot be seen externally. 99% of the creation process is invisible to the naked eye but can be felt step-by-step.

On the inside.

Next week I’ll share how I’m doing after hitting the dreaded “plateau”.

]]>http://cjblaquera.com/2016/07/9-ways-im-making-peace-with-weight-loss/feed/24932What I Did for 40 Dayshttp://cjblaquera.com/2016/01/what-i-did-for-40-days/
http://cjblaquera.com/2016/01/what-i-did-for-40-days/#respondThu, 14 Jan 2016 03:06:20 +0000http://cjblaquera.com/?p=4790I have endeavored to do many things to improve myself (aka: fix myself).

I have tried to develop new habits, cut back, get healthy, exercise more, do less of this or more of that.

As you can imagine, over the years many New Year’s Resolutions have gone by the wayside:

new calendaring systems

“inbox zero”

drinking more water

eating less (or no) gluten

walking more

getting outdoors

eating more vegetables

taking vitamins

keeping a regular sleep schedule

eating dinner at the dinner table (rather than in front of the TV)

keeping “office hours” rather than making up my day as I go along

planning the week ahead

writing down everything I eat

ad infinitum…

But…

None of those attempts were done in the spirit of devotion or daily spiritual practice.

For the past 40 days I have been conducting a Sadhana (pronounced saad-nah).

I read about this practice recently in Recovery 2.0: Move Beyond Addiction and Upgrade Your Life by Tommy Rosen.

Former alcohol, drug and money addict, Rosen writes:

Everyone is devoted to something. What do you spend the most time thinking about? What do you love and cherish? Drug addicts love and cherish their drugs. They are capable of intense devotion. Drug addicts will go to any length to get their drugs. Any length!

In recovery, the idea is to show that same level of devotion to something that is uplifting and nourishing to the spirit as you used to show in going after your drugs of choice.

By devoting a spiritual practice that you do every day, something absolutely magical happens in a short amount of time. You fall in love with it, life gets easier, and you no longer want to miss this great experience.

Let’s just say my personal drug of choice is food while my favorite thought addictions are negative thinking and self-doubt.

The idea of a Sadhana resonated for me.

I’ll share what I learned during my 40-day Sadhana experience in a day or so.

Until then, I documented my journey with black and white photography on Instagram (which was a total blast). Click to view the photos here.

CJ

P.S. If the idea of devoting yourself to the creation of a new habit interests you, I am beginning my next 40-Day Sadhana this Friday and would love share the path with you, email me for details. Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy!

P.P.S. Below are a few images from my Instagram feed. Click the images for more.

But man, did I want CHOCOLATE. Bad.

I was about to head off to the kitchen for a couple squares of dark CHOCOLATE. (What could possibly be wrong with a couple squares of dark CHOCOLATE for Heaven’s sake. Antioxidants, anyone?)

I justified it to myself this way.

I had just worked for hours writing and posting a blog and then sending it out to my beautiful peeps. (Oy! So much proofreading, so many typos, so many re-writes, so much inter-webby technical tomfoolery necessary to upload and send the blog that my butt hurt from sitting for so long.)

Of course, I deserved CHOCOLATE.

What might be going on with me that I wanted CHOCOLATE to make go away? (As if CHOCOLATE truly had such power.)

I discovered this nagging Train of Thought that took me to the Eeyore Station:

No one will read this anyway.

This is pointless.

There’s so much to do in my business.

This one blog post isn’t going to make a difference in the ocean of things I need to do.

I really should be re-writing my website (or doing any number of other things on a very long list in my head).

All told – it boiled down to this lovely gem:

I’ll never get it right.

CHOCOLATE, anyone!!!!!!!!!

(No friggin’ wonder I was headed for the kitchen).

I stayed on the mat for 90 minutes (who knew it could fly by so fast!), flowing in and out of being present in my body.

The congestion in the lower part of my body felt like an impenetrable granite boulder which is akin to how “trying to get it right” feels. It’s just too big. It’s too far out in the future. It has too many steps. There’s always more to do. For sure, I’ll get it wrong.

All I could sense was a Huge. Immovable. Obstacle. Until this moment of clarity:

I don’t need to get it right.

There is. No. Right.

And the craving for CHOCOLATE?

Gone.

(Drop the mic).

P.S. I titled this post “CHOCOLATE (#1)” because I imagine the topic will make quite a few appearances on the blog. (Just sayin’).

{Meet CJ Blaquera}

Master Weight Loss Coach for Women

Find Peace Within (not Within a Piece of Cake)

I help outwardly accomplished women master their internal guidance system so they can succeed at creating their natural weight.Begin by clicking here.

Or, if we manage to be one, we’re fighting like mad to stay one (or praying to God they don’t realize that we aren’t one).

I just worked with a client who thought she “shouldn’t be sad”.

The sadness she feels is (in her words) “Boy Sadness”. (At this point, she thinks her dating life with a particular guy is over).

She doesn’t want to feel her sadness. Instead…

She wants to be like the COOL GIRLS.

Because COOL GIRLS don’t let men have any affect on their happiness and are immune to “Boy Sadness”. They’re not worried about a man not liking them or being judged by men. COOL GIRLS don’t let things like this bother them. (Do COOL GIRLS actually walk the earth?)

MY client doesn’t feel she has social permission to allow her feelings.

So she tries to pretend the sadness isn’t there.

During our session last week, instead of pushing down the sadness with a plate of her favorite comfort food (which she had done the day before), our work was to have her sink into her sadness.To allow it.

There it was in her body waiting for her.

In the back of her throat quivering, in the pressure behind her eyes, and in her “butterfly” stomach.

Sadness raises the question: What must be released?

My client finds this answer:

My expectations of other people to do everything I want them to (insert said “Boy” here) and the pressure to figure everything out right now.

(How genius is Sadness, right?)

Eventually she also realizes this Truth. Rather than “I shouldn’t be sad”:

I am sad.

(And immediately she feels more accepting of herself.)

Being a make-up artist in Los Angeles, my client has seen many “alleged” COOL GIRLS (actresses) on set. We discuss one particular actress (the star of a Fox TV show) who has been mean to the crew.

My client thinks the star is insecure and probably wonders these things in the privacy of her own mind:

I’m not sure I look good enough. (#BeenThere)

I’m not sure my work is good enough. (#DoneThat)

I’m not sure I am good enough. (#DoneThatToo)

What if we didn’t separate ourselves from the COOL GIRLS?

What if we didn’t try so hard to become a COOL GIRL?

What if we didn’t worry about whether othersthought we were a COOL GIRL or not and realized that…

We are all: Just. Girls. Period. (Or Just women. Period.)

I am not a Good Girl. A Bad Girl. A COOL GIRL. An Un-Cool Girl.

I am simply…

A Girl.

A Girl with a myriad of emotions that come and go (Each with a specific message of its own).

My client felt some ease in that idea. It took the pressure off.

I am a Girl. (Period).

It opened the way for her to become an Authentic Girl.

And don’t we all – really – want to become THAT Girl.

{Meet CJ Blaquera}

Master Weight Loss Coach for Women

Finding Peace Within (not Within a Piece of Cake)

I help outwardly accomplished women master their internal guidance system so they can succeed at creating their natural weight.Begin by clicking here.

Though the wolf kennels were arranged in a semi-circle, I might even call their choir of voices a Howling Circle – because somehow it felt as if I was fully surrounded and the experience was complete – with nothing “semi” about it.

I had been wanting to find a volunteer experience to become a part of. So when there was an announcement about the Volunteer Program at Wolf Connection, I felt an open-ness, an alert-ness, a readiness.

The prospect of working with the wolves felt like a green light.

So I decided to say “yes” and move forward.

After exploring more, I decided to volunteer to work with these wolves: chopping meat for feedings, clearing feces or perhaps updating the organization’s website. One never knows where a green light will lead.

In preparation for the volunteer training process, I spent a full day on site.

The wolves howled in abundance. Most often, with no apparent cause or trigger.

I started to discern differences in the Howling Circles.

Most certainly there is a difference when the pack howls as a volunteer approaches the kennels with a leash. This means one or more of the wolves is going to go for a walk or to the Turn Out (think wolf dogpark) or to possibly interact with humans. During these times, the wolves howl with more volume and urgency, seemingly to say, “Pick me! Pick me! I’m over here.”

Other times, a lone voice begins the sonic interplay with a gentle “Ahhhhh-Ooooh-Uuuuuh-Ooooh” moving up and down the wolves’ secret musical scale – with other wolves answering the invitation and gently adding their voices to the choir.

And every time…regardless of the tenor of the Howling Circle…

It is nothing less than exquisite.

It feels as if it is communicating with my soul.

Tuning me to greater alignment.

Calling me Home.

What is your green light?

What is your yes?

What is calling you?

Your green light might be starting to take regular walks.

Your yes might be heading to the local Farmer’s Market for a delightful explosion of fresh in-season fruit and vegetables.

Or what might be calling you is working with a life coach who specializes in leveraging law of attraction for the purpose of creating more confidence, freedom, and the ability to align with your natural weight.

That was the case for my VIP client who recently flew in to Los Angeles from out of state and worked with me in person for two days. We explored not only her relationship with her body and eating choices but also her marriage, mothering, friendships, in-laws, and her relationship with herself.

At one point she jokingly said, “You might have just saved my marriage.”

She was exaggerating because her marriage was not on the brink at all, and she was also realizing that the insights she was having could have a significant impact on the quality of her marriage, particularly in areas that had been of contention for her.

{Meet CJ Blaquera}

I enjoy the challenging, exhilarating and exciting work of helping smart, soulful women become the deliberate creators of their own lives and attract their natural weight peacefully and permanently. I require that my path be peaceful, sustainable and permanent, and I teach my clients how to walk the same path.

I used to think that was just how I was built: Moody. And prone to The Funk.

Now I know…

I create my moods based on how I focus my mind, based on what I’m thinking.

Last Saturday I had plans to visit Wolf Connection (a youth education and empowerment program, with rescued wolves and wolfdogs as the centerpiece).

Feeling funky, I decided to skip publishing an installment of “Frequency Friday” last week because I couldn’t find the fun, and I didn’t want to fake it but…

I just knew I would be having fun the verynext day on Saturday, and I remember thinking, “If only that wolf adventure could have happened before Freq-y Friday, then I would have had something fun to talk about on the blog.”

Damn. Just one day too late to make the Friday “Fun” deadline.

Maya, an original pack member and the quintessential alpha female

These were my thoughts about visiting Wolf Connection:

“It’s going to be so interesting.”

“I bet it’s going to be fun.”

“It will be an adventure.”

“I”m sure I’ll learn something new.”

“I’m looking forward to this.”

How could I not have fun with those delicious thoughts dancing in my head?

Impossible.

It wasn’t until several days after my Wolf Connection visit that I realized I could have woken up any morning last week and thought all the thoughts above about my upcoming day.

On Thursday, I could have decided to think:

“It’s going to be such an interesting Thursday.”

“Thursday will be an adventure.”

“I’m sure I’ll learn something new today (Thursday).”

“I’m looking forward to Thursday.”

I didn’t have to wait until Wolf Day to think any of those thoughts. They are an option every day of the week if I simply use a different topic as my reason to create a sense of adventure, enthusiasm and interest.

Often we treat Goal Weight Day like Wolf Day. We wait until then to think all kinds of amazing thoughts – especially about ourselves – when it’s actually possible to think amazing thoughts at any weight – even at today’s weight!

We can even ask great questions any day of the week and at any weight such as:

“What could be fun today?”

…instead of waiting until Wolf Day or Goal Weight Day to let the fun begin.

Have you ever done that?

Put off having fun or feeling good until some distant point in the future.

It doesn’t have to be that way. We can choose to create fun when we want – instead of waiting for wolf adventures or a certain number to appear on the scale to do so.

The wolf, Logan, had recently been bitten by a rattlesnake hidden near his food bowl. Amazingly, he survived – even after his head swelled and looked like a polar bear’s.

And now back to the wolf fun…

which I did have even though I saw this receptacle (shown to the right) for wandering rattlers.

My favorite part of the day was this rather unexpected moment.

I’m not sure when exactly I thought wolves howled but (as it turns out) there is a moment when this pack howls with regularity.

It is during the time when the wolves who will be going on the hike are collected from their kennels.

I asked later why the wolves howl, and the simple answer is…

To communicate.

A fellow hiker shared that wolf expert, L. David Mech (pronounced “Meech”), has studied wolf howls and has identified 16 separate and distinct howls used for different purposes – including a version of the swimming game “Marco Polo,” where two wolves out in the wild and in different places will each howl to let the other one know where they are.

The howling helps them figure out how to meet in the middle.

Wolf GPS, if you will.

This video captures the magical, mysterious and seemingly plaintive first wolf pack howling I heard as the wolves were being selected for the hike.

Watch how Max howls, then paces and howls again at the 42” mark.

Every time I watch it and listen, I am transported to a place of wonder and intrigue.

Tune your frequency,

CJ

P.S. If you’d like to make your weight loss journey more magical, mysterious and intriguing, click here.

{Meet CJ Blaquera}

I enjoy the challenging, exhilarating and exciting work of helping smart, soulful women become the deliberate creators of their own lives and attract their natural weight peacefully and permanently. I require that my path be peaceful, sustainable and permanent, and I teach my clients how to walk the same path.

On Monday I actually bypassed the email inbox check and digital dive into my laptop, to strike out for an early morning walk.

Now I have a knack for coming across stray dogs, and I love doing a good deed by returning our furry friends to their homes and owners but,… when I encountered two loose dogs just a few blocks later,….

…this situation gave me pause.

One of the canines was a small (seemingly highly strung) white mutt while the other was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier (aka a Pit Bull).

My initial thought was:

It’s a Pit Bull.

Don’t. Even!

It’s not worth getting hurt over.

But as I stood watching him cheerily sniff and pee on everything in sight, I decided to not judge this Pit by the sensational news coverage I had been exposed to.

I made a different choice.

My mind produced fear, but my instincts indicated it might not be called for.

There was a low cinder block wall nearby, and I decided to have a seat and see how the dog responded.

Which was immediately.

This guy came right up, leaned his whole body up against my knees and invited me to scratch and rub his back side.

He was full of sweet, cuddly friendliness and a little bit of drool.

Feeling at ease and connected to this stocky, huge-headed Pit, I reached for the silver, dog-bone-shaped tag hanging from his collar which read:

Chicken Butt

Service Dog

…along with a telephone number that I used to reach his owner.

Seriously.

Chicken Butt?

Turns out Chicken Butt is a service dog who works with autistic children.

Only dogs with a phenomenal temperament qualify to be certified as a service dog.

Consciously deciding to trust my instincts and having it turn out so delightfully well was quite memorable for me, and it turned out to be a highlight of my week.

Try this today:

Trust your instincts.

You, too, just might be drooled delighted.

And if your instincts have been telling you that it’s time to try something completely different with regard to weight loss, click here and let’s chat.

P.S. The weight loss process can have a bad reputation – just like Pit Bulls, but you could find it’s nothing like you expected. It might even be sweet and friendly with a little bit of drool.

Click here if you’d like to chat with me about the weight coaching process.

P.P.S. That’s not Chicken Butt in the photo, but he looked a lot like this fella who is available for adoption.

{Meet CJ Blaquera}

I enjoy the challenging, exhilarating and exciting work of helping smart, soulful women become the deliberate creators of their own lives and attract their natural weight peacefully and permanently. I require that my path be peaceful, sustainable and permanent, and I teach my clients how to walk the same path.

]]>http://cjblaquera.com/2015/03/freq-y-friday-chicken-butt-a-true-story/feed/04550Freq-y Friday: Stop & Smell the Daisieshttp://cjblaquera.com/2015/03/freq-y-friday-stop-smell-the-daisies/
http://cjblaquera.com/2015/03/freq-y-friday-stop-smell-the-daisies/#respondFri, 13 Mar 2015 08:02:33 +0000http://cjblaquera.com/?p=4537This weekend – after attending the annual mastermind for the coaching school I both attended and now teach at – something went missing at the Four Seasons Biltmore Resort (Santa Barbara).

A fellow colleague and I had enjoyed staying at this Old Hollywood-style property complete with cottages, Spanish roof tiles, and lush landscaping – marveling at how we actually felt like we belonged.

Fancy that!

(We’ve come a long way, Baby.)

Now, my compadre must have felt that this delightfully cheery Gerbera Daisy no longer belonged at the Biltmore because she mischievously removed it from a hallway vase so that it would accompany us on our California Adventure.

I’m not sure whether I judge her for her thievery or am jealous that I didn’t think of it.

Either way – it became our companion for the duration of our trip.

We kept its thirst quenched in a Four Seasons’ signature water bottle which sat in a cupholder between our two seats as we followed Google Maps GPS to a rustic cottage on the outskirts of Ojai’s fabled East End.

I imagined myself driving a “cute as a bug” VW Beetle, which used to (and might still) come factory-equipped with a Gerbera Daisy in its very own vase and built-in holder.

So. Damn. Fun.

This shockingly orange flower continued to delight us as the centerpiece on the dining table of our Airbnb rental, which was located near the base of a spectacularly jagged and deeply green mountain range.

Throughout the evening, our flower friend heard lots of laughter as we planned the future of our businesses and also greeted us when we returned from a sunrise hike the next morning.

It felt amazing to laugh so often.

Did you know babies laugh an average of 300 times a day?

Adults – not so much – but this week two life coaches gave it a good go!

After a heartfelt and huge goodbye hug at LAX, G-Daisy and I navigated the fabled405 Freeway, and she now sits on the island in my kitchen reminding me to look for laughter and delight in everyday life.

Where can you find laughter, delight and/or spontaneity on this Freq-y Friday? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to share it with you.

P.S. Are you ready to work with me (a weight loss coach for women) and lay a permanent foundation for weight loss success? In this program you’ll learn what I think every woman should know before ever doing another diet. Click here and I’ll send you the details.

Especially since for most of it I was trying to earn approval and validation and rack up achievements so I could prove my value.

And now…

I’m tired of being so serious.

I don’t think I came to Planet Earth, only to scowl my way through Life.

I’ve been missing the point.

Entirely.

How about you?

Abraham-Hicks says:

Life is supposed to be fun.

I think they’re right.

And I’m finally ready to take that very seriously.

It’s time to bring the fun.

With my new resolve, I headed out for a massage.

In the waiting area, I ignored Real Simple Magazine which would have taught me how to organize my closets and efficiently clean my kitchen (yes, I used to be a subscriber) and, instead, opted for Bazaar.

The cover sported Jennifer Aniston in a white tuxedo jumper number while on the inside I found all manner of glittery, shiny jewelry and car ads along with spread after spread of festive, sparkly goodness.

If they think they’re nothing, I teach them not to believe what they think.

And I also explain what the negative emotion produced by this type of thinking actually means (which certainly isn’t that it’s the Truth).

It’s amazing how much a 16 year old and a 46 year old strong, savvy businesswoman have in common.

If you want more details on my Foundation for Weight Loss Success Course,click here and I’ll fill you in.

Until next time….if you’re weird and you know it, clap your hands.

Ready for more confidence? Want to feel great in your skin and create your goal weight?

Explore the difference a life coach specializing in law of attraction and weight loss for women can make in achieving longterm, effective, healthy weight loss. Book your Breakthrough Discovery Session here.

]]>http://cjblaquera.com/2015/02/im-weird-im-different-and-i-dont-belong/feed/04500[Video] Have you ever thought “I should have more control”?http://cjblaquera.com/2015/01/shame-about-weight-gain/
http://cjblaquera.com/2015/01/shame-about-weight-gain/#respondFri, 30 Jan 2015 21:19:06 +0000http://cjblaquera.com/?p=4391Have you ever thought:

I should lose weight.

I should go on a diet.

I should have this figured out already.

I should have more control.

I should have been able to get my act together by now, damn it!

Yeah.

Been there. Thought that.

Bought the t-shirt.

When we think like this, we are “should-ing” all over ourselves.

When we “should” on ourselves we add a layer of shame and embarrassment that makes our weight loss journey soooo much more difficult.

Thinking we should have something figured out already doesn’t help us actually figure that “something” out.

Thinking we should have more control doesn’t actually help us bring anything under control. In fact, it usually leads to an out of control eating spree.

That’s because, when we are thinking about how we should be, we are also keenly aware of (and often embellish and fabricate) the many ways that we aren’t how we think we should be.

For example:

I should lose weight because I’m gross, fat and disgusting (and if I don’t it means I’m weak).

I should go on a diet because – did I mention – I’m gross, fat and disgusting!!!

I should have this figured out already because women my age, with my smarts who are STILL overweight and who haven’t figured it out already, are big losers who suck royally.

Have I convinced you that “should-ing” on yourself sucks royally?

I hope so.

Ditch the shame. Watch the video below for a simple alternative to how we “should” on ourselves.

Ready for more confidence? Want to feel great in your skin and create your goal weight?

Explore the difference a life coach specializing in law of attraction and weight loss for women can make in achieving longterm, effective, healthy weight loss. Book your Breakthrough Discovery Session here.

Ready for more confidence? Want to feel great in your skin and create your goal weight?

Explore the difference a life coach specializing in law of attraction and weight loss for women can make in achieving longterm, effective, healthy weight loss. Book your Breakthrough Discovery Session here.

These questions aren’t that helpful, given that they ignore one key point:

How the journey feels is how the destination is going to feel.

And most of us – if we’re overweight – feel like failures, have little (if any) self-confidence, and feel the jagged edge of self-condemnation.

The secret is to create the feeling you desire (from eventually becoming thin)…right now!

Otherwise, you’re smack in the middle of “When I…Then I…Thinking”. Furthermore, hating the body you have while expecting to create a body you’ll love defies the Laws of the Universe. You simply can’t get where you want to go from there. It is energetically impossible.

As you consider the coming year, you might want to ask (and answer) these very different questions:

What are the feelings that I think being thin will allow me to feel?

Am I providing those feelings for myself now?

How can I create those feelings for myself right now?

What new perspective could I choose that would allow me to access those feelings now?

How can I cause the journey to feel like the destination I desire?

Focus on the answers to these questions and 2015 just might feel amazing.

To 2015!

P.S. Are you ready to lay a permanent foundation for weight loss success? In this program you’ll learn what I think every woman should know before ever doing another diet.

If you want to be part of the charter group of women who experience this program before anyone else, click here to let me know. I’ll put you on the list to receive all the details first.