Sex and the City meets the Dalai Lama. Buns and Marty use their lively escapades to ignite an authentic inquiry into themselves ... an emotionally-naked exposé baring all.
Their keen observations of life’s twists and turns will inspire you to use your obstacles as a path to your heart’s desire.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Are you wearing your mask?

After all, ’tis the season … I’m still trying to get the last vestiges of make-up off from last night’s frivolities!

I’m also reliving my recent visit to Ontario to see my Mom and Dad, three sisters and brother, and the rest of the gang. It was a wonderfully wholesome trip – ranging from big family meals, to picking pumpkins at my brother’s farm, to raking leaves (using the Belvedere Flick* method), to playing music until the wee hours of the morning. It seems to me that each visit is better than the last and I am wondering why that is. At first I thought it was because of something that my family was doing “for” me and then I realized it is actually my doing (or rather, being). Every time I visit, I allow more of the undefended “me” to show up, and risk having them know me for who I really am – not that “warts and all” type of revealing, but rather one of “I am more and more aligned with my essential Self” where I don’t need to make excuses, defend, or justify myself. I am comfortable in my own skin, and so they can be comfortable with me.

At the same time, as I continue to be more often, I am more apt to notice where others still hide or defend their position of who they want us to think they are. They are not necessarily doing this consciously of course, but I do recognize it now more readily. It was interesting talking to one of my sisters about it … she happened to mention that one of her friends had made a disparaging remark to her and I could tell it had hurt her feelings. I gently suggested that perhaps the remark had more to do with her friend than her. I invited her to look underneath her friend’s mask, as it were, and see if she could see something different. What was her friend really saying? What was she throwing out at my sister to ward off any discovery my sister might make about her? In the end, while she was pretty entrenched in her hurt, it was an opportunity for me to model what I espouse … truth. Or at the very least, getting to it. Although it may not have registered as an epic moment for my sister, for me it was a tiny but significant stand that I took as me. I was naming “what is” neutrally and with the potential of healing a hurt or educating another person about me.

So what was my disguise last night? (Yes, I can hear you wondering.) Well, I didn’t wear a mask but I did use copious amounts of eyeliner and mascara and hairspray and went as a reasonable facsimile of Stevie Nicks. And yes, I sang a Stevie song (Landslide), and then settled in to watch everyone else revel in their masquerades.

Happy Hallowe’en!

Authentically yours,

Buns

*a wrist action used with the rake to cause said leaves to jump from the lawn onto the tarp. Originally developed by the landowners of Belvedere Place, it has become a trademark move. (I'm thinking it would make a great band name ... just think ... "Live at the Orpheum! The Belvedere Flick! One night only!) Okay. I'll stop now.

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How it all began

Our sons were friends. Like brothers really. We mothers had never met but both our guys kept saying we should. Then Duncan passed away. It was through Marty's support of Buns' grieving her son that a deep friendship was forged.

Duncan inspired us. If his life, at 22, could get snuffed out like that, without any warning, then why wouldn't we live each day to the max ... grateful for every second, whether mundane or profound?

Really, we're not interested in writing just about the happy times. We are interested in also using the pain, the sorrow, the disappointments -- the realities of life -- to stretch and grow.

Inherent in everything that happens, at the heart of it lies love. Sometimes it doesn't look like love. We have to go through all the layers of ourselves authentically and feel them in order to reveal that essence.

But hey. It's not all serious. We have a blast. We go blindly into spontaneous adventures that some might consider reckless (Marty's word), or random (Buns' word), but regardless, whatever it is we are doing, we are awake and choosing to live out loud.

If you want to catch all the glorious details of the Buns and Marty escapades, you can start with our first post under Blog Archive (November 2010 -- Today has already been amazing -- and read the posts from bottom to top).

A BUNS & MARTY UPDATE!

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