Parents: How long do you wait before telling someone about your children?

So recently I've been back on the dating scene, and I have a problem: I don't want/like children, at all, ever.

I've on a few occasions now become really interested in a guy only to find out he has kids a little ways down the road. Part of me gets really mad about this, because I feel like that's something that people should be up front about.

The other part of me respects that sharing that information is a personal decision--and oh well it won't work out, so I move on.

I don't want to be a freak who immediately asks people if they have kids but I almost feel like I'm going to have to. It's not fair to them or me to waste the time.

What Guys Said 11

There is nothing wrong asking the guy if he has kids when you start a relationship. If we don't ask questions at the very beginning, we are foolish. Like you said, a waste of time if you don't. If the guy doesn't like that you ask questions, send him on his way. If you don't want to ask the question, tell him you do not want any children. Ask how he feels about that. A good man is going to say that he has kids. I've done online dating and every woman I talked to had questions for me and I them. I did this on the phone before even meeting. Stop over thinking because it just makes things seem worse than they are. Good luck!

n. The first date is not too soon to ask. That's why we date -- to find someone for the long run. So it's important to discuss your life goals early, instead of wasting months only to find that you want to be childless in New York and he wants six children on a farm.

If you want to find out without running the risk of seeming baby crazy (by asking if they have/want them or not) and scaring off a potential suitor maybe just somehow bring up kids in general in a conversation? If they have kids I'd imagine that's when they'd bring them up. If not and they say it later down the road they were definitely hiding it.

@AriadneSky I know she doesn't want kids. I'm just saying if there's an opportunity simply just bring up the topic of children in whatever way. If a person has kids this would probably be the time they'd say it. I don't see how that's distortion of reality in any regard.

I'm a father of two boys, now for me being of the age where most woman have children, it's easy.. but even if I wasn't, It would be one of the first things I would tell someone I was interested in.. In fact I'm dating a woman right now that has never nor will ever want kids.. I told her straight away, and we have been fine so far..

It is dishonest to date without being upfront about having children. It's a deal breaker for some, why misrepresent yourself?So IMHO it should be upfront. "I'm a divorced dad" or "I'm a single mom with two" etc.

He didn't wanna scare you off. He wanted you to get to know him before you started judging. He clearly is interested in you. If he ever introduced you to his kids then he realy likes you. It doesn't mean you be new mommy or be asked to help out.