April 18, 2017

Our cool Sarah Steenland comic--we're not done with boats, it's just time for a little landlubbing

Over the years we’ve had a lot of different questions come
up—and for the next while I thought I’d try and reflect back on some of the big
ones that we were asked about most often (between prepping the boat to sell,
moving back to Canada, finding a place to live, going back to work, traveling
to Ireland and getting Maia sorted for school—so bear with me).

What’s it Like Having an Only Child on a Boat?

It used to surprise us but there are a LOT
of only kids out here. In some ways it’s probably just a reflection in the rise
in single families in general (20 percent of US households with children are
one-child families) but it’s also easier to hit the traveling sweet-spot
age-wise when you only have one child to take into consideration.

This means that through the years I’ve been fortunate enough
to touch base with lots of one-child families. We’ve had the chance to compare
notes on how our kids are doing, what challenges we face and what the positives
are:

through the years Maia's become a more than capable crew

Do you have to constantly entertain your kid?

Maia was seven when we left and was an avid reader with a
very busy imagination. She’d also already been an only child for a while ;) and
was pretty awesome at entertaining herself. There were times when I would have
rather read my book than read her another chapter of hers, and I may have
played a few board games I might not have played otherwise, but I think this is
on par for most parents. I don’t have the alternative to compare her to, but it
seemed like she was pretty self-sufficient. (Plus Evan loved playing play-do
with her ;)

Did she get lonely?

Lonely happens for almost everyone who is social and who
sails. Sometimes we’ve been out of season, or just had the urge to do something
different from the crowd—and there’s been no one to share it with. Usually we
enjoy the time where we’re a family of three—but as Maia got older she felt the
need to have friends around more often. Fortunately if you stick with common cruising
routes it's not hard to find kids. With some planning it’s even possible to
have long term friends. We're almost always with 'kid boats' in Mexico
and crossed the Pacific in the company of a couple of dozen families. We were
off-season in Indonesia so
had a couple of months with only a few kids here and there, but crossed the
Indian Ocean and explored South
Africa in company. So in our eight years we
planned our routes so we spent more time more time with other kid boats, than
without.

What about shyness?

Maia is reserved by nature and it’s a constant effort for
her to put herself out there. She’s also a bit introverted so she takes a while
to warm up. But over time she’s learned she has to make an effort and that age
and gender aren’t that big a factor. Currently in La Cruz there are about 20
kids from 5-17 and they roam around as big happy bunch. They split off into
smaller groups more by interest than anything.

thanks to the wonder of the internet--this fabulous Fijian family is still in our lives

What about meeting local folks?

One of the things we discovered is that as a small family is
that we had a lot of opportunities open up to us. I think it's easier for a
local family or person to make an invitation to a small family for dinner or a
stay in their home or for another cruising family to take along one extra kid
on a special outing. We often discovered people were happy to adopt the three
of us (or just Maia) and Maia has stayed in contact with people she’s met from
all over the world.

This year we plan to get the 'band' back together with a reunion with some of the best people in the world

Do you think changing locations and intermittently
hanging-out with other kids could make it hard to maintain long-term
relationships?

I think it could—we do know kids who don't seem to bond
really well—but these have often been kids in larger families who don't
necessarily have the flexibility to change plans to nurture each child’s friendships.
In Maia's case she still has some of the friends she made as an 8-year-old (now
15). Most friendships last a season or more—so 6-8 months and as she’s gotten
older she’s used social media to stay in contact with the friends she really
connected with. I think one of the tougher discoveries for her was realizing
that some friendships just don’t last—even when you have geography in your
favour.

What are the best ages for an only afloat?

I’d say from the time they can read until they say they’re
done—broad, I know. Last year I was certain we kept going too long—but seeing
her and the other 15-17 year old boat kids this year, I think it was worth
riding out her 13/14th year aboard. More importantly, she's happy she stuck it
out. I think the transition from 12-15 is hard no matter where you are and in
many ways being aboard gave her the freedom to grow-up at her own pace. Part of
it though is we are currently with an incredible group of families and kids. There
have been a good number of older teens and they are a remarkably happy, well-adjusted,
socially conscious, super nice bunch. Being somewhere long enough for them to
become involved in the local community
has also been a gift. They've been volunteering in a variety of things around
town here.

How has cruising been for your family?

We've grown into a very close, happy, playful family and have
learned to keep an eye on how each of us is doing (we’re not always happy and
playful). It's always been a group decision to keep going from one year to the
next. We love the times when there are fewer people around and have great
memories of things just the three of us do. This contrasts nicely with when
we're in bigger harbours with heaps of families because those become social
whirlwinds. It's often a relief to go to sea just to have family time.

What else?

This all said—Maia is still an only child—and it's been pretty
essential she develop solitary hobbies. Fortunately she’s had no problem with
this. I actually think it's helped her thrive—she's shy and reserved by nature—but
a childhood afloat is a pretty gentle and freeing one so I think she's much
more outgoing because of it.

I'd also hazard the guess that Maia has had way more
sleepovers, dinners with friends and hours of unstructured play time than your
average North American kid. A typical day usually includes school to about 1 or
2pm and then the kids are gone until dinner, or longer.

About Me

Our family of three (+ feline) just finished sailing around the world. This blog contains the story of our travels and experiences, thoughts about the world, and on Maia's blog you'll also find the occasional rant.