How to End a Bad Date

We've all been in a position at one point in our dating lives where we need to figure out how to end a bad date. Maybe the girl you're with doesn't exactly fit the picture on her profile, maybe she's self-obsessed, or maybe you're just not compatible. It happens and it doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you a person in a bad situation. This guide will help you get out of any bad date so you can move on to greener pastures.

Politely state that you want to end the date. Sometimes the direct approach is the easiest. Chances are if the date isn't going well for you, she's not exactly having a blast. Bring up the fact that you don't feel the date is going well, mention you appreciate their time and company to soften the blow, and keep your fingers crossed that a relieved look rushes over her face. The best part about this approach is you don't have to worry about avoiding follow up calls or requests for second dates.

Arrange the fake emergency call. If you don't have the heart or guts to end a bad date by being direct, there are other ways to squirm your way out. Excuse yourself for a few minutes and call or text a friend. Ask them to help bail you out by calling you back in a few minutes with some fake emergency. Be sure that you tell your friend to wait at least 10 minutes before calling or she'll probably figure out your ruse. After your friend calls, mention to your date that something has come up and you have to go help out a friend. Try to keep the explanation generic. If she says she understands, you'll know she's just as happy as you are to be done with the date. If she asks for details, mention a friend's car breaking down or being locked out of their apartment and pray that karma doesn't exist.

Mention how early you have to be up in the morning. If you can't afford the karmic shot that accompanies concocting fake emergencies, lace not-so-subtle references to your daily routine in your conversations. Talk about how you're not looking forward to the next morning because you've got to be up before the sun, mention how tired you are due to your crippling lack of sleep, or stare down at your watch and remark how late it's getting. Any self-respecting lady will see these as exit strategies and should let you end the date gracefully.

Go walk your dog. If it's obvious you're not an "early to bed, early to rise" kind of guy, it's time to pull out the doggie card. During a lull in the conversation, glance at a clock and exclaim "I can't believe I forgot! It's been 8 hours since I walked Buddy and he has some bladder issues." So long as she doesn't suggest you go walk him together, you've just found a perfect way to end a bad date without obviously hurting anyone's feelings.

Make your date as uncomfortable as you are. Sometimes dates aren't going well and you have no reason to spare her feelings. If she's making you uncomfortable, it's time to fire back. Describe in great detail about that dysentery episode you had last week, talk about your other sexual conquests, or mention your STD collection and she'll be bolting in no time. Bad date: ended.

Disappear. Let's say none of the above options fit for you, or you just want to pretend you're a secret agent for the day. You can always end a bad date by taking the coward's way out: Just disappear. Get up to use the restroom and leave through the back door or fire exit. Just be sure to pay the check before you leave.

By following the advice in this article, you should have enough ammunition to get out of any bad date. Just remember, if it's not going well for you, it's probably not going well for her anyway. It's better to end the awful date before either of you waste another moment of your life.