Never assume that a recently potty-trained 2 year old who just went to the bathroom is "safe" playing quietly alone in your bedroom. He could explode at any moment (and probably will, all over your just cleaned carpet that is exactly 27 years old and needs all the help it can get to look decent until you finally put in the hardwood floor of your dreams.)

Never tell your child that he'll have to sit in front of his breakfast until it's finished unless you want to spend the rest of the day stuck at home while he takes one bite every hour. Why oh why do I engage in battles of will with my children when I know them to be stubborn little punks? (this photo was taken at 12:30 pm. He finally finished his breakfast at 2:37 pm, after which he proceeded to get dressed, make his bed, and do his chores as if it were 8:30 am. So, I guess I won the power struggle, but I lost most of the day.)

Never get involved in a land war in Asia

Only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when is on the line! (for those of you who are confused, time to revisit your copy of The Princess Bride and then take this quiz.)

10 comments:

Rebecca
said...

In my opinion, the dough is often better than the actual baked cookies! I've saved your cookie recipe and when I go to the store I'm going to look for high quality milk chocolate chips and see what these are all cracked up to be! I'm sure they are fabulous.Your blog is hilarious. I'm so glad I'm not potty training currently, those are days well forgotten!

thanks, dad! you are a sweetheart. i'm sure that your kids were perfect, but that must skip a generation because mine aren't. then again, if it skips a generation, then what does that say about you???:)

My kids were perfect, perfectly rotten from time to time. No generation skip. I'm sure I had my moments also.Gordon has his story of "spilt pea soup', He went through a whole bag of crackers and several hours before he was done. Love, Papa

dad,ah, well. we all have our days! i have noticed that henry seems to believe me when i threaten him since this happened. which, i guess is more telling about me as a mother who uses threats instead of just motivating through love and affection!

I just want to tell you how completely Hip and "Kewell" you are! I am so impressed w/ your Blog - if only. . . .

I am dying to try your cookie recipe and since I am a food snob like you (we need to stick together) I ONLY buy the high end chocolate chips. Ha ha! Maybe when the temp. gets below 90 I will start baking again.

Your family is adorable and I love hearing about your life and realizing that I am not the only one thinking to myself "What have I done and how do I fix it NOW?!" on certain days.

As for the potty training thing, all I have to say is Courage Sister, it will get better. (I repeat this to myself over and over some days!)

jana,i love knowing who's reading this thing, so thanks for commenting! i wish that we lived closer so that we could meet at the park or something. who knows when these potty training days will be over? i'm not even sure if bronwen's our last one or not ...

I'm Rebecca's sister in law and I love reading your blog and I waste most of my day doing it! Thank you for the "rules" I am going to print them out and put them on my fridge ... as soon as I can find my fridge under all of the artwork! Hang in there! I am very impressed that you actually made him sit there until it was finished! I am going to make the cookies tonight, aw heck.. I can start my diet tomorrow, right?

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I love to cook, eat, talk, and read. I don't love to dust or mop floors. I have a passionate hatred for processed cheese. I love being a mother, and on the days that I don't love it, I have this little project to remind me to try harder.