Tip the Dog Groomer...?- Jnet wants to know if the groomer should be tipped for performing a spa treatment on a shih tzu that includes an ANAL GLAND SQUEEZE. Jnet should just start out with $10 in ones and put them on the grooming table. Remove one dollar every time the groomer messes up. This is just the invisible hand of the market at work here folks.

Journal of Applied Animal Behavior says Dachshunds more aggressive than Pits- Captain Foxy posts a video discussing how small dogs such as Chihuahuas and Dachshunds are more likely to bite than baby kil-- pit bulls. Other PI goons share stories of Dachshund attacks such as and attacking a friend's crotch, tearing off ears and mutilating baby genitals. The moral of the story? Pits have the decency to kill your children instead of leaving them to grow up without a penis.

Need Some Help Dealing with Hoarders- SexyJonBenet's local "no-kill" cat shelter has been caught keeping very sick cats alive, over-medicating others and refusing to adopt out cats because many people weren't good enough for their precious fuzzy babies. This is what happens when you let crazy cat ladies be in charge of things. But there is a happy ending, with SexyJonBenet adopting a 14-year old asthmatic cat named "Cattherine the Great" that was forced to stay at the shelter for 12 years and had her medical records falsified because the director didn't want to lose her.

~*~ The Crackhead Clubhouse ~*~Reppin': Spakkafish

So what's your drug of choice? Whatever you're partial to TCC has it, and by Jehovah, Buddha, Ganesh and Joe DiMaggio you're going to need something strong to get through these atrocities, monstrosities and occasional vomit-puddles of wisdom. Never forget, enlightenment begins at the bottom of a crack-pipe!

The Official Drug Testing Q&A- Did you know you can make up to $30 AN HOUR by participating in drug trials? Well you can't here, but you sure as hell can trip balls.

Americans are world's top drug users- An international study determines that that the USA is home to the worlds highest percentage of drug users, TCC determines that they fuckin' rock at it too man! USA!

MDMA Megathread- These guys love you man, they really love you, and they want to help you. By far the best place on the internet to learn about drugs before you fuck up your life with them. From experienced drug users to first time amateurs this megathread is the place to find out what to do and how to do it.

Traci Lords goes on a journey of vengeance and squibs while making the same stupid face constantly.

About This Column

The Something Awful Forums: the last bastion of sanity on the Internet. "Forum Fridays" glances at some of the most interesting and popular threads from nearly each forum, highlighting a handful of threads each week.