I can't. I can't. I can't. With every step touching the asphalt of the Vondelpark, my thoughts slash into my brain. Who do you think you are? Why are we doing this? From couch to 5K, well, you should have stayed at the couch.It wasn't me running alone, it was me and My Mind, moving together. More boxing than running. Today, for the first time, it feels different. As if my body is actually right above my feet moving, instead of dragging as a heavy body bag behind me. I try to speed up a little, to leave the restrictive thoughts behind me. The aggressive volume of the live version of Justices 'We are your friends' can be turned down a little, after being repeated for 4,5 times. There are moments I am able to look up from my feet and hear the birds. After 25 minutes, my first official full round of Vondelpark, the Elm seeds seem confetti thrown at the invisible finish to welcome me. If I can do this, almost anyone can. I am as slow as a turtle, I am as red as a lobster, but I run.