Yesterday a fangirl who calls herself Amanda Bieber (clever, right?) took to her Twitter account to defend her "boyfriend" Justin Bieber against the haters—something which, judging from her feed, seems to be her primary occupation. She posted the following:

Justin Bieber is much bigger than Kurt Cobain, so shut up. Did Kurt Cobain ever have the biggest fanbase on Twitter? NO.

Umm, no he did not because HE DIED IN 1994 BEFORE TWITTER WAS EVEN A GLIMMER IN ITS MOTHER'S EYE. God, kids these days, hell in a handbasket, walked five miles uphill both ways, etc.

But seriously, Amanda, you are probably young, and you're certainly not the only person saying dumb things on the internet. I was totally ready to crawl back into my cryogenic preservation pod and let Courtney Love take care of your mess. But then I noticed that Cobain is not alone among Amanda's targets. Today she really took it high class when she said this about another superstar who never knew the exquisite agony of tweeting:

LOL at people saying Freddie Mercury was a great role model and Bieber is not. You know Freddie was gay and had AIDS right?

Oh, god. God, god, god. Fingers crossed that the ghosts of Freddie Mercury and Kurt Cobain meet up and somehow figure out a way to tweet from the beyond, because they could pull together more followers than Mr. Bieber in about five minutes and teach the young Mrs. Bieber a real thing or two.