Can I Haz Rankings? Oh Yesss!

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It appears that Peter Jung of Holisticated Search has released a poll looking for the UK’s most influential SOE. This appears to be utterly invalid for a number of reasons, most importantly that I have been (criminally) overlooked.

Please vote below for the real question – who is really the world’s most influential SOE.

Who is the world's most influential SOE

Artichoke Garibaldi (83%, 35 Votes)

Someone else (17%, 7 Votes)

Total Voters: 42

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The poll will run until the end of October, at which point I will publish the results. Unless I forget.

Recently I was the main speaker at an incredibly prestigious international search conference where I delivered a completely amazing presentation about a number of cutting edge SOE techniques that have yet to be discredited.

Much of the talk around the conference floor was about social medium. Over the last year or so, there has been an explosion of social medium websites like Face book and My Tube, and they have literally hundreds of users.

So, how can we as SOE professionals get more out of these websites?

Twitter

Twitter is great for friends and messages. You can write a message to your friends using Twitter, and then take advantage of the relationship vectors within the system to promulgate your links. The best way of twittering for SOE is to write all of your meta keywords for a page into a twit and then adding a link to that page.

The Googler has a Twitter name. You should add @google to all of your twits and then they will count as page ranks. An Advanced Level Twitter Technique that leverages the full power of the social graph is to create several hundred additional accounts and “Re Twit” each of your messages to Google. Each “Re twit” adds a popularity modifier to the total Page Ranks you score that can almost double their value.

Face Book

Face Book is the best social medium for photos. You can do twits on Face Book like on Twitter, except the Googler cannot read them. Ideally avoid having privacy on your account, as this prevents searchers from seeing your things.

Because Face Book is good for images, you should take photographs of your web pages and up load them to Face Book. The Googler cannot completely see the pictures, but you can add captions to them that use your meta keywords and URL.

YouTube

You Tube is mostly about videos. These films can contain anything at all, and are saved in a special language that Google can understand. You can include your URLs inside the video, and use the soundtrack to record your keywords over the top.

Each time a video gets watched, it is the same as getting a new link. The most popular videos are of people falling down stairs, or being mauled by dogs, so this site is a great choice for anyone with a personal injury internet.

MySpace

My Space was the first website to have music on it, and is famous for the creative web design techniques that is used. The technology used to encode the music on My Space is completely state of the art. Although the Googler has no real soul and as such cannot appreciate any tunes apart from electropop, it is capable of “hearing” the words.

To get the most success on My Space, you need get friends – it’s a good idea to pretend to be an 18 year old girl and use a picture of someone pretty for you profile. Simply read out URLs and Meta Keyword lists over the demo track from a Bontempi Super Reed Electronic Organ, and the Googler will treat each song as the equivalent of 4 page ranks. You may also get a record contract.

Recently I was the main speaker at an incredibly prestigious international search conference where I delivered a completely amazing presentation about a number of cutting edge SOE techniques that have yet to be discredited.

Much of the talk around the conference floor was about social medium. Over the last year or so, there has been an explosion of social medium websites like Face book and My Tube, and they have literally hundreds of users.

So, how can we as SOE professionals get more out of these websites?

Twitter

You can use Twits to boost your ranks

Twitter is great for friends and messages. You can write a message to your friends using Twitter, and then take advantage of the relationship vectors within the system to promulgate your links. The best way of twittering for SOE is to write all of your meta keywords for a page into a twit and then adding a link to that page.

The Googler has a Twitter name. You should add @google to all of your twits and then they will count as page ranks. An Advanced Level Twitter Technique that leverages the full power of the social graph is to create several hundred additional accounts and “Re Twit” each of your messages to Google. Each “Re twit” adds a popularity modifier to the total Page Ranks you score that can almost double their value.

Face Book

Facebook - mainly used for images

Face Book is the best social medium for photos. You can do twits on Face Book like on Twitter, except the Googler cannot read them. Ideally avoid having privacy on your account, as this prevents searchers from seeing your things.

Because Face Book is good for images, you should take photographs of your web pages and up load them to Face Book. The Googler cannot completely see the pictures, but you can add captions to them that use your meta keywords and URL.

You Tube

You can add your URL as a link to a video

You Tube is mostly about videos. These films can contain anything at all, and are saved in a special language that Google can understand. You can include your URLs inside the video, and use the soundtrack to record your keywords over the top.

Each time a video gets watched, it is the same as getting a new link. The most popular videos are of people falling down stairs, or being mauled by dogs, so this site is a great choice for anyone with a personal injury internet.

My Space

Add Songs to promote your website on my space

My Space was the first website to have music on it, and is famous for the creative web design techniques that is used. The technology used to encode the music on My Space is completely state of the art. Although the Googler has no real soul and as such cannot appreciate any tunes apart from electropop, it is capable of “hearing” the words.

To get the most success on My Space, you need get friends – it’s a good idea to pretend to be an 18 year old girl and use a picture of someone pretty for you profile. Simply read out URLs and Meta Keyword lists over the demo track from a Bontempi Super Reed Electronic Organ, and the Googler will treat each song as the equivalent of 4 page ranks. You may also get a record contract.

Others…

There are plenty of other social mediums that you can use too:

Bebo – Popular with children

Orkut – Popular in Brazil – possibly good for waxing products

Spotify – Music – possibly good for acne/skin care websites due to semantic emphasis on domain name.

Writing websites is completely different to any other medium, and experienced SOE professionals spend years perfecting the best way to write words properly in HTML. There are many different factors that need to be considered, and the most important ones are including the right semantic definition protocols, structuring your content with enough linguistic emphasis vectors, and the keyword density.

The 3 imporant content optimisation factors

Arguably, the most important consideration however is keyword density. This one metric can make a huge difference to the ranking potential of any web page, and getting the keyword density right can more or less guarantee that your page will be at number one in all of the big search engines the minute it is loaded.

What is Keyword density?

The simplest definition of keyword density is “the latent probability frequency under which a specific linguistic structure occurs within larger semantic distribution”. For convenience, keyword density is typically expressed as a percentage.

The reason why keyword density is important is that it provides an indication of how machine readable your content is. While most people are able to understand different concepts and emotions, the Googler is not. To be able to read HTML, the Googler is more like a giant killer robot than a person. It looks for words and compares them with the big word list at the Googleplex to decide what the document is about. By using the proper keyword density of a document, it is possible to tell the Googler exactly what the page is about, and then it can make it rank:

How Google treats a page with the right keyword density

How to calculate keyword density:

The easiest way to the calculate keyword density of a give piece of text is using the following function:

correct method for calculating keyword density

By applying this function to your document keyword density calculations, you will return a percentage number.

The right keyword density

For any document, the correct keyword density value should be 16.7% because this is the point at which the words will make the optimum amount of sense to the Googler. This means that you need to use your keyword once in every 6 words on the page. If your target phase is two words long, you will need to use it once for every 12 words and so on. The following is a perfectly optimised paragraph with a one word target:

Kippers are important as a source of salt. Kippers are tasty and yellow. You can buy kippers online from the kippers websites where kippers cost around £1 per packet of kippers. You normally get around 6 kippers in each pre sealed packet of kippers you buy.

There is no question that this paragraph would rank number 1 for the word “kippers” provided that other on page elements such as the semantic definition protocols, and the linguistic emphasis vectors were correctly placed.

Twitting is about to become the next big thing on the Internet, and if you want to get involved in this new trend before it goes massive, then there is a great new site where you can do all of the twitting in one place. Twitter has been launched by a major friend of mine , and he is pretty confident that he’s going to have thousands of people on there twittering to each other all the time.

Anyway, it is a great idea to register for a twittering account on Twitter so that you can twit to people, and it is also a great source of high quality links that include good quality Page Ranks.

SEO Cock Stars is on the Twitter already, you can follow us by clicking here, and then you can keep up with everything that we do.

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