Throughout my life I have consciously identified as all kinds of things, a leftie, a feminist, a shortarse. I have never had to question or announce that I am a woman. When I was born I was identified as female and I have just so happened to grow into a woman. I have experienced various biological and social happenings that are usually expected for those entering womanhood - though not all those who enter go through such things - I haven't experienced half of them. While I have never felt that glorious sensation of 'fitting in' I have never had the knowledge that this unsettled feeling is to do with my physical presentation and how it might cause people to read me incorrectly (apart from reading me as 'Awkward' and 'Not From Here'). If it was something I could change, it would seem obscene to me to ignore it.

Even before the high profile announcement that the boxing promoter Frank Maloney is now Kellie and wishes to be referred to using female pronouns there has been a recent flare up in the always turbulent 'discussions' between those who are comfortable with the term 'cis' and those who believe it is a form of misogyny.

Kellie's news prompted a tweet from writer Sarah Ditum, who said it was "Strange to imagine that someone in their 60s who made millions as a man in a male dominated business thinks "being a woman" feels like". I don't want to target Sarah Ditum here, it's just I think this tweet is relevant to the subject. Ditum expanded on what she meant saying: "My experience of "being a woman" is of being *treated like a woman*, not having a "female brain", whatever that means."

It reminded me of my article on sexism denial in which I complained of women in the workplace who insist they sailed by through pure hard graft. They experienced no sexism, something I think most women face on a daily basis. Are they still a woman?

Experience. It's an interesting thing, no one can assume what your experience is and nobody - not even you - can possibly know how it has been instrumental in the direction you take in life. Can your experience be influenced by your sex? Undoubtedly. Just as what you had for breakfast as a child influenced you experience. This is not to trivialise experience - breakfast is the most important meal of the day - but to show how various things change who you might be and who you are.

It's not for me to comment on anyone's reasons for choosing the match their outside with their inside. Juliet Jacques recently wrote beautifully about her life, radical feminism and trans people.

Having no escape. No where to go. No one to believe you. As a woman, doesn't that sound familiar to you?

Writing of her escape from a dangerous situation with a man, Juliet wrote: "I worried that institutional transphobia might mean I would be ignored, or worse. I wasn't sure I could go to a rape crisis centre either: the Equality Act of 2010 explicitly allowed them not to admit transsexual women if they thought my presence might make the space unsafe, which made me feel that I wouldn't be welcome at any shelter, even if they explicitly said I would."

Having no escape. No where to go. No one to believe you. As a woman, doesn't that sound familiar to you?

In Christina Criado-Perez's piece on why she doesn't like the term 'cis' she took great pains to say of trans women: "I am not for one second denying that they suffer greatly from the same male violence that has made me who I am today. I am also not for one second telling them how to live their lives." But it seems from conversations Criado-Perez's and other's understanding of what cis - specifically cis woman - is that it is a catch all term for the pinkification of society's version of a woman as weak, silent and dressed in impractical clothing.

On the other hand I find the term very useful, just as a shorthand to show I don't have certain experience and I respect this. It appears not to be many women's experience (perhaps it is the area I live in) but I can confidently take public transport, walk home late at night and go to the toilet without having to overthink anything or having the fear I may be ridiculed and abused.

It seems we all want to protect women, or rather it seems we all want to stop violence against women. To me cis could be a uniting term. To me it shows respect. To me it shows we are in this struggle together and not apart. Too long feminists have fallen into the trap of being exclusive. Instead we need to say 'we welcome you'. Then we can create a safe space for all.