1. Destroying their bodies Whether it's drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, a lack of sleep or, most likely, all of the above, few groups of people are into excess like Panic fans. And no one, NO ONE, is more likely to polish off an organically grown, fully vegan meal with a half gallon of bourbon. Let it be said, though, that Panic fans have good taste, and choose to destroy their internal organs with only the finest bourbons, beers, pills and powders when possible.

2. Making sarcastic remarksOften about hippies, how they hate hippies or how dirty hippies are. It's ironic, I know.

3. The music of Widespread PanicThey pretend to like other music.

4. Dancing "my ass off"Typically poorly. See #s 1 and 3.

5. Ridiculous outfitsAs I walked out of a show last week there was a guy in a white ape suit playing a guitar and harmonica. On any other day, that might have seemed strange.

6. T-shirts with clever sayings and/or song lyrics printed on them (men only)This is not be confused with No. 5, and in fact has far more in common with No. 2. I suppose the female equivalent would be either a homemade dress, or an outfit that allows the girl to blend in with all the hippies wearing homemade dresses, but still look super hot.7. Forcing other people to listen to their music.Seriously, what makes someone decide to bring their own drum to a concert?

8. Not paying for thingsI'm convinced some Panic fans have two-year community college degrees in the art of grifting.9. Over-paying for thingsThis might seem at odds with No. 8, but I assure you it is not. $5 for a bottle of water? I'll have six.

10. Owning ridiculous amounts of technologyThat dred-locked hippie might not have a place to stay tonight, but he's got a $3,000 laptop, a digital recorder with dual mike set and a sweet titanium mike stand. He also has an iPhone and a walkie-talkie. Can he sleep on your floor tonight?

11. Washing over you like locustsAttention concert promoters: You cannot have too many kegs of beer or $5 bottles of water on hand for a Widespread Panic concert. I know you think you can, but you can't.

12. Selling you somethingNo, I don't want a veggie burrito or your charcoal drawing of "Mickey Hauser." See also: No. 8. By the way, whoever invented grill cheese sandwiches with garlic powder for $1 is a flat-out genius of consumerism.

13. Not being able to find things that are clearly in their pocketsSee No. 1.

Joe Cox: Probably a Widespread fan.14. Noticing coincidencesSee No 1.

15. Talking about how awesome shows they attended wereTrust me, unless a member of the band ascended into heaven during the show you're talking about, you might as well be quiet. See also: No. 1.

16. Predicting the next songThis is often followed by an insistence that the band was, in fact, "teasing" that song "just like two nights ago in Orange Beach." See also: Knowing that was a Bloodkin song.

17. Referring to band members as "the boys."See also: Referring to multiple shows in a row as "runs."

18. Talking about how awesome Eugene, Ore., and the entire state of Colorado areAthens would also be on this list, except everybody already knows how awesome it is. Even people who've never been there.Yes, I've heard. Thanks.

19. Being from TennesseeI have no idea why. Though I once knew a guy who lived in Memphis specifically because it was a convenient place to get to Panic shows from.

20. Text messaging songs as they are playedI don't know why everybody's cousin needs to know what songs are performed at at show they are not attending, but they do. See also: Holding their cell phones up and swaying back an forth during slow Talking Heads covers, posting shaky video of songs to YouTube and having hour-long conversations on internet message boards.

21. Becoming best friends with people they clearly will never see or talk to againSee No. 1.

22. Actually seeing those people at another show, and doing them some kind of favorSee No. 1 and No. 3.

23. Holding grudgesLargely because it gives them ample opportunity to exercise their right to No. 2. I once saw a band review that panned Widespread with more than 4,000 follow-up comments posted to it (I am not making that number up), including someone posting the reviewer's telephone number and address.p.s. - i made that number up. It was 785.

24. ExageratingYou know, just for effect.

25. Despite it all, or possibly because of it, not wanting to leaveThis town is nuts, my kind of place...

I don't know who this guy is, but the visor and Colorado sky are dead giveaways.

26. Creating t-shirts using song lyrics and photographs to cleverly let everyone at the Panic show know about an internet message board saga in which Guy A meets his girlfriend on said Panic message board, falls in love, and then girlfriend ends up sleeping with Guy B behind Guy A's back. Guy B also happens to be Guy A's best friend and a fellow message board poster. Chaos ensues and it all unfolds between Guy's A & B in a huge e-fight on said internet message board for all to see.See also: No. 6.

pretty spot on. could add (for girls only) wearing ridiculously large glasses and overpriced sundresses (aka j.crew hippies)that will be ruined by the end of the first set due to consumption of copious amounts of drugs and/or alcohol.

You should also add a number for people who nickname themselves or make a play on their name to coinside with any "Jam" song, ie, large guys named "Bear", hairy guys named"Big Wooley" or "Disco" for that frat guy that parties way too much. Also, the screen names, St. Stephen, Sunshine Daydream, Mr. Soul or Joyous Occasion.

26. Creating t-shirts using song lyrics and photographs to cleverly let everyone at the Panic show know about an internet message board saga in which Guy A meets his girlfriend on said Panic message board, falls in love, and then girlfriend ends up sleeping with Guy B behind Guy A's back. Guy B also happens to be Guy A's best friend and a fellow message board poster. Chaos ensues and it all unfolds between Guy's A & B in a huge e-fight on said internet message board for all to see.See also: No. 6.

Ok, so you saw the nickname, and yes my dogs name is Houser but only because he was born the day after Houser died. I actually called the guy from Dallas who wrote the bad review and left him messages about his anal lube deliveries! Oh yeah, I have more electronic gadgets than I know what to do with! I travel like a Bandit, and Im taking my 5th Red Rocks trip in two months! And Orange Beach was the heat!!!!

There really is nothing and no one better to see in concert than Widespread Panic! Never the same thing twice! Who cares what others think of us who follow them. I own my on business and my husband is a CPA and we manage just fine and we won't stop until the boys do!

I love it! I agree with Brooke G. I don't care what others think of me and my panic buddies. I'm an insurance company executive and have been to see 174 WSP shows. As long as the "boys" keep it up...I'll be there. Long live Panic.

Panic is cool when you are 16 and just starting to come into your own and party with your friends. Sure, the concerts are fun, but nobody over the age of 23 should be allowed to like Panic anymore. Plus, folks talk all about the hippies and such....but it's all the sweet fratty guys that dominate the shows. And I enjoy going to hang with friends and all of that....but the boys just aint that sweet anymore, or maybe I've grown up and get embarrased at the people around me when there. The chicks are hot at the shows though.

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After 23 you shouldn't like panic anymore? That has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. "oh wait, it's my 23rd birthday...time to start liking Kenny chesney." I guess after the age of 5, I shouldn't like McNuggets from McDonalds anymore...what a loser.

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