Cool Jobs: April Fools!

Three are real and two are not. Challenge yourself!

This week's Cool Jobs are not cool at all. In fact, they're totally lame.

April Fool's!

In the spirit of the holiday, we've rounded up three cool jobs you won't
believe are actually real...and added another two that are pure
fiction. Can you guess which is which? Click through the jobs to find
out!

AP
1. Rider/DancerWhat it is: Did you know that Dolly Parton basically
has her own version of Chuck E. Cheese's? Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede
now has three locations in the southern U.S., serving up country grub
with a hearty side of crazy. It's a three-course dinner theater
featuring dance numbers, bluegrass, pig races, references to southern
separatism...in other words, pretty much everything except Dolly Parton.
The attraction's Branston location is looking to hire dancers with
horseback riding experience, because of course. Let's hope you're not
doing both of those things at the same time.

Getty Images
2. Rodent Surgery TechnicianWhat it is: Here are some of the key words of the
thriving rodent surgery industry: "non-invasive;" "homeothermic
warming;" "rat blood." Also, "cost-effective," because if there's one
thing everyone hates, it's rodent surgery that's just too damn
expensive. As a technician, you'll be tasked with tracking all animal
shipments, and act as a key backup in the operating room. So to all
aspiring rodent surgeons out there, we say, "Rats off!" .

Getty Images
3. Human BeaverWhat it is: "Human beaver." That's the industry term
for construction professionals tasked with building small dams and
barricades. Backyard flooded with pond runoff after the last big storm?
Better call the human beaver and get the situation under control! Unlike
actual beavers, these workers don't use sticks and bits of driftwood,
but modern materials, such as quick-drying cement, and their services
can be pricey.

Getty Images
4. Sales Inspector - Termite ControlWhat it is: Nothing sells itself, and that's especially
true of termite control products. After all, what makes your insect
death-spray any better than the other guy's down the road? That's where
you come in. As the resident sales inspector, it'll be up to you to keep
accounts happy, whether they're new customers or longtime users of your
product. Does that mean taking them out for vodka-soaked Mad Men lunches? We don't see why not!

Alamy
5. Gamer TrainerWhat it is: This one's for you, World of Warcraft
fans. Just as you can hire seasoned pros to help you with your swimming
or tennis skills, gamer trainers, or high-ranking players of popular
online RPGs, are your best resource for stepping up your abilities as a
knight, fire mage, or whatever you choose as your gaming avatar. The
hiring team is seeking an expert to give personal lessons over Google
Hangouts--but if you're curious, be ready. You'll be subject to an
audition process as you go head-to-head with your potential co-workers.