It's a special time of year! Our anniversary is fast approaching and this year we decided to forgo the traditional gift giving of previous years. Not that I didn't love my gifts. "A compost bin? For ME? Ohhh, I'm in HEAVEN!"

Nor did I eschew MM's generous offer to take me to his previous work place. "The dry dog food factory? I'd LOVE to go! Of course, I'm impressed! The dry food section smells WAY better than the wet one! You are so considerate!"

But, this year we decided to give each other a gift that transcends biodegradability ... we are going on a wee trip! We discussed it at length and MM decided he wants to go here:

and here...

while I want to go here...

and here...

So, we are going to LONDON AND PARIS!!

First we'll go to London and look at a clock. Then we will drive for two hours to pay money to join a 'tour' and walk around a pile of rubble for 45 minutes. Are you excited? Because I am.

Then, we may venture on to the London Eye, depending on whether MM can successfully bribe, cajole or otherwise convince me to step foot in it. There better be a REALLY BIG bar of chocolate preceding me on to that thing...

Then on to Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guard. These guys can stand still for hours balancing a wombat on their heads. Now that's talent!

Then we will ride in this super fast metal snake that travels UNDER the sea... which won't freak me out at all. I mean, there's plenty of air and no reason to worry about the billions of tons of earth and water above me while I am shooting through a narrow subterranean tunnel at a thousand miles an hour. No reason to worry at all.

So, if I survive the train ride to gay Paree, I will be in need of sustenance to calm my nerves! To the patisseries and chocolatiers toot sweet!

I may never come home or at least, not 'til the money runs out. Which will be soon. As it is, MM already has to sleep in the car for two nights...

I wasn't surprised that Allison got the boot on AI. She's a great kid but she was seriously out-gunned. Adam is a professional entertainer who can distort perfectly good songs and get away with it. I don't want to like him but he has this whole "charisma, good looks, insane vocal range and blue hair" thing going for him. It's a winning combination.

Danny has some skills though I was a bit worried that his final note, a Psycho-esque screech, would kill the Gokey buzz. It didn't. His fans aren't going to let a little pig squealing change their minds about him. Here is the Gokster's final notes from his infamous rendition of "Scream On" oops, I mean... "Dream On."I hope you have the stomach for it.

Kris was the sweet one who's GINORMOUS female following kept him in contention. He has shown some stamina and skill in the last few weeks and I think I underestimated him. I liked how he sang the Beatles, "Come Together", though the judges lambasted him for it. Shut up judges.

I won't even comment about Paula's little dance number. Nooo comment.

OK, maybe just a little comment. Crappy lyrics, old moves, ho-hum.

And, what's with Gwen Stefani? She jerked herself around the stage, leaped all over the audience, nearly wiped out jumping off the riser and generally looked like an eedjit.

Then she did PUSH-UPS in the middle of the song. And what was with the weird voice? I don't remember "Just a Girl" sounding so forced. Maybe she'd been snorting something backstage... like her drummer did. Wouldn't you have to be off your face to wear this??

Unlike Kristina, I'm not one to judge, but how seriously can you take a rock band who's drummer wears a tutu? I hope this is just a temporary drug addiction. Any more of this rubbish and they'll have to change their name from "No Doubt" to "No Class."

I've had several suggestions to change my hairstyle to that of Jessica Biel. So, I bow to the authority of my clever bloggy friends and here is the planned makeover... keep an eye out for the actual hairstyle. I promise to post a picture.

I may change the colour to this ...

or not...

So... it's been a few days since I posted the pictures and I got my hair done. My regular stylist was not at the salon. At this point I should have left. I really should have. Instead, I asked a different girl if she would style my hair without cutting it. I showed her the picture above. "No problem! I just need to cut a little bit off here to get those layers."

At the mention of the C word, I should have walked out.

Twenty minutes and two inches on the floor later, I bestowed her with a curse that will ensure all her offspring will be born with three nostrils. Then I left.

Following is the slightly bemused pic of me after the fact. Keep in mind that I was very windswept (and not in the good, sultry kind of way) when the picture was taken by my ten year old.

The Ready Store

Hilariosity...

Daughter: Mum tried to throw me off the top of the Empire State Building but there's a fence around it so she couldn't.--------------------

Son: What was Jesus' real name?

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Son: (At the Christmas tree lighting ceremony) What's happening now?Mother: They're about to light the tree.Son: On FIRE?(It's hard to adequately portray the glee with which this was said.)--------------------Daughter: Who is Tiger Woods?

Sister: May I have some of your cake?Sister: From the bottom of my bottomless stomach... NO.--------------------Son: (observing the High School classrooms) I know why the windows don't open. So the kids can't escape.--------------------Son: (upon discovery of contraband in pants pocket) I was just looking at it! Only a gangster would take a cap gun to church!--------------------Daughter: Hey! You can't copy what I wrote! That's polygamy!--------------------Daughter: Isn't Mark Twain like, "old" and "dead"?--------------------Grandmother: I'm 84 but I've got a good life... I've got my family, I've got my friends... Wait, no! All my friends is dead!--------------------Sister: I'm going to open the door but I'm sitting on the toilet so don't look, ok?Brother: okSister: I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK!Brother: But you're blocking the view!--------------------Sister: I spoke to her and she agreed.Sister: Is she awake?Sister: No, I talked to her self-consciously.--------------------13 yr old Daughter: What do I do with the bun in the oven?Mother: ...choke...--------------------Child: It's the shape of a box, only it's round.----------------------Child: Can I have some chocolate?Mother: Eat lunch first.Child: I did.Mother: What did you have?Child: Nothing.