just some thoughts about what it is to grow closer to God while still being in this world

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Saturday, September 20, 2014

My Sweet Child, Look How Far I've Brought You...

The Lord's loving quiet whisper meets me in my place of complete dejection as I ponder the immense gap between where I am in Him and where I know I am to be. I look to His word praying for Him to do all that needs to be done for me to be all that He created me to be. I plead with Him to change circumstances that prevent me from attaining that place in Him.

I just want Him to know how much I want to have a life that honors Him in ALL THINGS and how frustrated I am that my life is still so dang far from that. He pulls me close with that beautiful, loving, and kind whisper and tells me "My sweet child, look how far I've brought you."

I hate to admit it, especially so publicly, but my response was less than desirable to His encouragement. I told Him "That's great, and I appreciate it, but look how much is still wrong with my life, and my thoughts, and even my heart."

Thankfully the Lord is used to His children being so ungrateful and simply responded "I'm not worried about it. Just trust in Me, and keep your eyes forward. Don't despise small beginnings. I'm an expert at using the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. Seek first my kingdom and all other things will be added unto you. I love you with a love that is not of this world. I'm not frustrated with you. Don't place yourself above Me by thinking your thoughts are more righteous and true than mine. You are right where I want you. I don't want you to be concerned with anyone's opinions on you, but mine. It's necessary to be patient in this process, if you try to force your definition and picture of what it means to be wholly submerged in me, you will quench what it is that I am doing in you and your family."

Well, okay then God. How does one argue with that? I obviously don't have my Savior's heart and mind because I just don't get how He can be so for me with the host of issues I've got going on. Yet, He is. And for that I am so incredibly grateful.

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About Me

I'm a SAHM of 4 boys, 1 girl, and two angels. I've been with my husband for 18 yrs and have been blessed immeasurably by him choosing to be with me and support me in my endeavors.
I was an atheist for many years, but the Lord just wouldn't leave my hard heart alone so I came to believe in Him. I stayed a lukewarm Christian for some time, and then the last ten years have really felt a deeper connection and calling to being a follower of Jesus Christ.
My life has been changing by leaps and bounds, and it's brought new life to my marriage, my day to day interactions, and my personal successes sprinkled with failures.
The Lord's GRACE is the key to everything. Jesus is my standard, and by grace through faith not only am I saved, but I can also lead the life He told me to. My days are spent seeking His humility, obedience to our Father, and letting His perfect love have its way in my heart.