April Fools Edition: Sentinel to begin paper delivery by drone

In an effort to better serve our readers and cut carrier payroll, The Sentinel is experimenting with a drone delivery service. Affectionately nicknamed “Skynet Mastercontrol Deathbot,” the company quadcopter has already proven as efficient as a 7th grader and twice as entertaining.

In unrelated news, investigators are still baffled by a recent uptick in private airplane crashes and downed power lines.