Welcome to the fun

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

lets make some memories, lets do Pancake day. Lets cook together and eat our spoils and remember this day, the smell of the batter, the lemon hitting or throats, flour in our hair and sugar on our fingers.

or as it is with Summer lets have tears, swearing and NHS direct on speed dial.

After work I brought all the materials needed for a successful pancake making session. A choice of no less than 5 fillings and an essential non- stick pan.
Summer cracked eggs into the bowl with vigor as I whisked the flour and milk in - this is it, we are doing it, making memories. Her little feet on tip toes peering over the bowl as she tastes the batter, I reach above her into the cupboard to get the sugar and her eager eyes follow me - eyes follow me so that she may learn. As the cupboard door opens- out flies a pot of Jerk seasoning and my world goes into slow motion. The peppery powder flies through the air like an ash cloud, Summer mouth open surveys the cloud that is about to consume her, my natural instinct is to protect the Pancake mix.
''FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK''
oh I said that without moving my lips,
''Fuck, Fuck oh Fuck i'm blind''
She has turned bright red and is squeeling grabbing her eyes in agony. Im not in pain so I didnt say that....
'Water, I need Water FUCK, Bloody water ''
I run the tap and start chucking water in Summers face.
''not the hot tap you IDIOT......JESUS CHRIST, im dying''
Can I tell her off for swearing at a time like this? - she is shaking in shock after all.
Should I take her to the hospital - certainly not while she is screaming Fuck at the top of her voice. hold this wet towel to your face while I close the windows case the neighbors hear this.
Just standing next to her my nostrils are burning - I run through the ingredients on the pack to see if its dangerous, but I cant make it out because its all in Jamaican.
''Ingredients: Nuff hot pepper n scotch bonnet
Warning: nah smoke dis shit man it a gah burn you to rassssss''
Again another danger of living with part time dad - if I had hooked up with a nice middle class white man the worst this would have got was a dash of horseradish in the eye.
After 20 mins or so she opens her eyes and I commend her for her bravery.
I cant help thinking that my little bundle of joy will be OK in the next bout of riots should the pepper spray come out.