The seizure I had last night (thing)

Of course I'm exaggerating. It was that place you sometimes find yourself between asleep and awake, where you move outside your body and you just float around complete unconsciousness, hesitating a long time before entering. But you can't find the way back to awareness, either. It's like being lost in the dark in ruins in a foreign country. You feel something mystical happening, sort of, but it may be dreams sneaking in on your thoughts.

The last time I saw the clock it was four. I don't know how long past it was. I was thinking, I don't know about what. Probably about evil.

I think my body convulsed - I'm not sure - I stopped feeling it. All of me was my mind and my eyes and my mouth. There was a bar across my vision (eyes closed). The top edge was orange and the bottom edge was lime green. Like the bar on a TV when the tracking's off or the channel won't come in, like when you start the vacuum cleaner on an old set in an old house with old wiring. My teeth were jiggling and my tongue fell back into my throat. I couldn't get it out. It lasted maybe two seconds, and it was over.

The strangest thing, I didn't come back to consciousness. I was just a more aware sort of half-asleep. I never thought of opening my eyes, but I remember quite clearly watching the patterns against my eyelids. I remember the colors were like waves.

I still felt odd this morning, in the shower. I looked at my hand and saw the shape, looked closer and saw the water moving across it, looked closer and saw the rivers running through the hills of my fingerprint. I looked at the light and it was a light, looked again and it was full of condensation. It's like someone told me a secret in a language I'm unable to learn. There's something I'm looking for, a trapdoor, a magic cup.. I don't know what it looks like yet, but if I pay attention I may find it.