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Friday, November 20, 2015

So this week's blog is super short...less words, more photos! My home office was a small space, roughly 7 feet by 10 feet. With the mossy green walls, slanted ceilings, and a small window, it was more of a dark hole than a writing place for me.

I also had another room in the house, which I have written in before. It was empty except for a rocking chair (older than me) and my son's hand weights. I was doing a women's challenge called the #LiveMoreChallenge. One day the challenge was to redecorate. I took that ball and ran with it!!

So I turned the very underutilized space into my new writing room....AND I LOVE IT!!!! I lightened the leftover paint and it's now a bit of a minty green. I painted the horribly damaged wood floors a satin white, and I added some Goodwill purchases (The two hutches were $50 total and the desk was a $40 steal!!)!!!

This weekend I will be holed away in here with my tunes, my cinnamon candy, and the words pouring out of me....and I can't wait! I even took Monday off of work so that I have an entire day to just get lost in writing. Check out my new space!

Friday, November 13, 2015

This week I'm finishing an online challenge to not only enjoy life
more but to also love myself more. The online support group of women has
been awesome and some of the group even decided that we don't want to stop this
great support so they have started another FB group to continue to encourage
each other on our journeys! It's been amazingly refreshing really.

Reading and sharing with strangers all our fears, doubts, joys,
triumphs, and uncertainties has made me feel connected in a way I haven’t felt
with some of my friends or family as of late.
I can voice my honest opinion to people and not be seen as being a drama
queen, but feel genuinely heard.

In being heard, I feel as if I've found my voice again….not that I
lost it, it’s been in me, but it’s now me letting it out. It’s also me going inward and deciding what I
really want this voice to sound like to the rest of the world.

I realized that my characters have been putting my voice out there
for years now. They have been the
mouthpiece for which I feel comfortable saying what my doubts and fears are; what
my internal struggles are. When Avery didn't feel ready to open up…that was me.
When Myra struggled with trusting again…that was me. And when Noelle said ‘no more’ to a life of
being small…that was me as well.

I love writing strong female characters that go after what they
want in life, they don’t just sit back and dream and hope…they do, they make
changes and take risks and bask in the joy and freedom of going for it!

I've also realized that in living through my characters that I wasn't totally living myself. In some
ways, I have been inspired by these characters to try new things, to trust, to
know when it’s not worth the drama to give your all for nothing in return. This week’s online challenge helped me see I’m
tired of living behind some words on a paper.

The Amy O’Neill that released FINDING HOME was going for it! I didn't care what people thought or anything;
I followed my passion with abandon and reaped the rewards of making a dream a
reality. Over these last few years, I
forgot about that ‘going for it’ and saw it as a job to do. The passion began to die.

There you have it…no BS, no excuses….I’m realizing it as I’m
typing this. My passion became work and
it began to die. But I don’t want it to
die…not at all any more in the least bit.

When someone asks me about myself I love saying “I’m a writer”…I
feel those words in the marrow of my bones, from the center of my soul I feel
them. Not just a romance writer or a
chick lit writer, but a writer….an expresser through words, a painter of print….I
AM A WRITER.

Yes, I hope to always write romance. I love the coming together of two people, the
fire and fun, the steam and sweetness.
Romance has always been my first love.

But I don’t want to just see myself as just that - a romance
writer. Not at all. I want to be a writer of women who find their
voices, who forge ahead into the unknown, who trust without reason and who
believe and have faith that all will work out as it should.

I want to write these women because I am that woman. It’s taken me 37 years to embrace that I don’t
know the future nor can I control it.
And there really is beauty is releasing a false hold on that
control. I don’t know if fans will like
my writing, or what I do or don’t post on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. All I
know is that I have struggled to let my voice be heard. I have stifled my own sounds to please the
ears of others and I can’t do that anymore.

My characters, their stories - MY STORY - need to be heard and
felt. I hope my readers find a kindred
spirit in the pages of my books. I pray
my heroines are women they would be proud to call friend, sister, or self.

We all have our own voices and our own ways of getting them
heard. Mine is in my writing….I’m a
writer…that is not just what I do but also who I am.

Friday, November 6, 2015

I've been a little MIA for the last few weeks on blog posts, and this week I know I've missed several days of Facebook posts....and I'm not even freaking out about it! Yay me!

My personal life has been hectic lately as my wonderful boyfriend of 14 months moved in and we are learning how to co-mingle full time. It's been an adventure and overall great! I'm learning to let go of some control and truly enjoy having a partner in all areas....it's nice to not have to "wear the pants" all the time!

Also in the last few weeks I've had several mind-blowing encounters...mostly when I open up Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book BIG MAGIC. Wowza!! Even if you are not a creative type person, I think this book is amazing to read and really made me step back and re-evaluate my writing approach.

Whenever I've been blocked or haven't written it's because I haven't felt my creativity flowing. I never wanted to 'force' my writing .... but that has been my error. In my 'sit around and wait for inspiration', I realize that I didn't exactly have the door open for that same inspiration to walk through. There's a saying that God doesn't call the ready, he readys the called. In that same mindset - inspiration doesn't come to someone sitting there, it comes to someone doing the work. How else will inspiration know who's ready to receive it?

In BIG MAGIC, Gilbert states that she feels ideas are an energy force themselves, all around us like air, and just looking for the conduits to come to life. When someone is ready and open, that idea comes through and comes to life - in art, music, medicine, etc. But if that person isn't open, the idea continues until it finds someone to let it in. This idea of ideas being energy also explains how two people, on opposite ends of the world, can come up with the same conclusions in medicine, technology, etc. Both of those people were open and the idea's energy came through both.

Mozart didn't just sit around and wait for the notes to appear, DaVinci didn't wait for the muses to show, and Elizabeth Gilbert didn't wait to eat, pray, or love her way to several bestsellers. They showed up every day, some days or weeks or months were trudging through the work, until those magical moments where the ideas came through and they grabbed onto them with all their might and went along for the ride. You never get where you want to go by sitting still and waiting.

No more waiting.

This weekend I'm moving my office, my current location feels a bit like a cave so there is no wonder I don't go in there much. After the redecorating it's back to the business of writing...every day....crap or greatness. I'm making a commitment not just to myself but to my craft to put myself into the flow of ideas and give the books and plots swarming in my brain a way to get out and come to life.

Whether it's writing or painting or dancing or creating spreadsheets or running a company....never sit around and wait for the ideas to find you. Go out there and get it! It's there waiting on you!

Friday, October 16, 2015

Having the right soundtrack ready and the ideas running through my mind gets me a long way when I'm getting in the writing zone. But there are a few other items that really help me hit that sweet spot.

I've realized I'm not the only writer like this. I have several writer friends that have their own 'things' they surround themselves with before even hitting a single letter on the keyboard. Maybe it's a bit of superstition, like those hockey players who don't shave during the play-offs or the baseball fans that put their rally caps on when their team is done in the 9th inning.

We all have our own ways of preparing. Then again maybe I'm a bit OCD and need things to be just right before I can try to get any work done. It wouldn't be the first time I'd be accused of being weird like that.

So here are just a few things that help me get my ducks in a row.

Grandpa's sweater - My paternal grandfather passed away when I was 17 years old. He was a preacher and when he wasn't in his light blue dress shirt with his red tie, he was either rocking a white tank-top undershirt, an Ohio State sweatshirt, or some other button down shirt. On chilly days he had a sweater that reminded me of Mr. Rogers. I became the owner of said sweater after he passed. To most people it would seem ugly. It is pea/puke green with brown buttons down the front. I feel as if I need to be in a library whenever I wear it...maybe that is why I chose to wear it only when I am writing. It has the same effect as Superman's cap for me...the minute I put it on I go from scatter-brained-Amy to Focused-Writer-Girl.

Writing board - I'm a visual person, I love vision boards and when it comes to preparing for any new book, I first start with finding photos of actors who look like the characters I have in mind. This is super helpful for me when I'm writing a scene and trying to imagine what the characters facial or physical gestures at any given time would be. I used to keep the photos in a word document, but once I created my office I got a large cork board that I have over my desk. This really helps me too so I don't have to switch from my writing document back to a photo document. I also like putting the pending cover design on there too. (FYI - this is the OLD cover for Down for the Count....it's being revamped).

Jolly Rancher Cinnamon Hard Candy - Yes...candy helps me focus! Maybe it's the sugar, maybe it's the doing two things at once (sucking on candy and using my brain). I don't know why this works...but it does! I know another writer who prefers peppermint candies while another loves chocolate kisses. But for me there is something about the cinnamon flavor that does the trick. Added bonus - the spicy flavor helps keep my sinuses clear as well! It's a win-win!

That's just a few things I have around me when I am writing....in addition to making the walls a cool mossy green that is calming, the throw blanket over the back of my chair that I got as part of a trade of my books with another vendor at a craft show, and my dogs sleeping on the loveseat next to my desk.

So there you have it, a glimpse into what constitutes my happy writing space.

Friday, October 9, 2015

The title of today's blog is a lyric from one of my favorite songs - DRIFT AWAY by Doby Gray ( Uncle Kracker did an alright cover as well). Whenever this song comes one, I stop what I am doing, start singing (albeit poorly) and drift away to happy memories of when I first heard this song.

Music has that power, to mentally teleport us to another place and time, to release us from the stresses of the moment, to help us grieve, and also to make us smile. Music, to me, is the great connector that lets the song and the listener meet and allows the listener to feel, even if just briefly, that their voice is heard somehow, that somehow someone somewhere saw into their innermost part and 'saw' them.

Music for me also has the uncanny ability to ignite the creative forces in my brain. TAKING CHANCES came to life because of a song!!! It hit me so hard and brought up such feeling about a lost love that I couldn't help but get it out onto paper....and I'm glad I did as that book is my best seller to date!

For every new book series I write, I create a musical playlist to help set the mood. For the Califonia Dreamin' series it was beachy music, laid back tunes by Colbie Calliat, Jack Johnson, and Ben Harper. For the Small Town series it is country all the way - old greats by Willie and George (Jones and Strait) as well as new hits. And for my Redemption (formerly Villiage Vixens) series it is a mix of country and folk like Chase Rice and The Civil Wars.

Here is just a hint of some of the music inspiring me right now as I write DOWN FOR THE COUNT:

And here are a few for the first release from the REDEPTION serires:

This is just a taste of the songs, but I promise there will be a mix of steam, passion, soft kisses and caresses, and plenty of drama and laughter as these characters dance and stumble their ways to romance!

Friday, October 2, 2015

Today I'm departing from my usual happy posts and talking about a little bit darker side to romance....the underside, when love fades, hearts get broken, and lives are torn. This side isn't usually shown in romance books, except those star-crossed lovers. No, this Happily Never After rests in reality.Why, today, do I want to talk about something so un-upbeat? Because today marks 6 years since my Happily Ever After changed into Never. Because what followed was 6 months of a terrible depression, and because maybe someone out there needs to read this and know they are not alone. And things will get better.

Me and Jake on the day I married my 2nd ex-husband

Six years ago yesterday I was just over a year into my second marriage. We had a good life, were financially stable and had a beautiful home. We were building a family with my son from a previous marriage. Life was 'perfect'. On that day my husband and I were having a strange vibe between us. Days before the issue of more children or foster/adoption came up and while I felt we were ready he stated that we had too much to work out. But I didn't know we had ANYTHING to work out. I had no clue because we never fought, never said a harsh word to each other. That night he slept in the spare room and I felt he must be internally dealing with something...I had no idea what it was.The next day - October 2, 2009 - was the first day my son would wear his new karate uniform. I'd just signed him up and he was so excited! He came home from class full of energy. As we ate a late dinner my husband complained of stomach issues and excused himself. I finished eating with Jake and got him ready for bed, then went and checked on my husband. He was laying in the spare room, with the covers pulled up to his chin.I tried to be a dutiful wife and ask what was wrong and what I could do to help. I knew things were 'off' with us and when he started to talk about it I suggested counseling, wanting to immediately deal with the issue and move forward. That is when he pulled back the covers to reveal he was totally dressed (even had his shoes on) and that he wasn't 'going to do this anymore.'

My mind reeled as I watched him grab a packed bag, apologize and tell me it was over, and walk out the door. The entire time my son was fast asleep in his room, not knowing when he woke up life would be totally different. We'd been together for over 5 years, but in the blink of an eye it had completely changed.I immediately called my sister-in-law (whom I also worked with - that didn't help!) and told her what happened. She assured me that maybe a few days away he would rethink things. I saw his car pull in again a few minutes later and prayed he'd had a sudden change of heart, but he didn't. He'd forgotten his toothbrush!In the coming days I would contemplate what I did wrong. I reassured my son it wasn't his fault (he's admitted he thought maybe my ex was angry that he'd joined karate). I wrote my husband a letter telling him all my flaws and how I would be a better wife if he would just come home. He did at least try to make an effort of showing up a few times, but his heart walked out and stayed out the day he first left.After investigating I realized he'd been talking to a female friend for weeks before he left. I found it out by calling a number that was on our bill a lot. She answered and I hung up. I then called him and asked him if he was cheating. He said he wasn't, and maybe that was true at the time. But I knew there was something more going on. His family and mine and friends thought I was crazy for thinking it, but 6 years later they are married and have 2 children - maybe I wasn't crazy after all!I began calling psychics and meduims within weeks of him leaving. I was so desperate for someone to tell me it would be okay and he would come home. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars for people to blow smoke up my ass. I knew somewhere deep down that it would be alright, with or without him, but my heart and head battled. I couldn't believe this fairy tale marriage and life was over, gone with the slamming of the door.

The stress and anxiety I experienced caused me to not eat. Anything I did eat would rapidly go through my body and within 10 weeks I'd lost over 50 pounds. My body was over-producing acid and years later I had to have my gallbladder removed because there was so much damage...not to mention the ulcer that was found as well from the stress.My days consisted of going to work and trying to put on a good face, coming home and being a mom, but as soon as 7pm hit I would hide under the covers while my son watched a movie. On the weekends he was with his father I would stay in bed the entire time except to get up to get the phone to call more psychics. Even on Halloween, when my sister invited us to go trick-or-treating, I went in my pajamas, grateful for one day where I could be a slob to the real world but they would think it was a costume.My husband told me just before Christmas that he'd filed for divorce, but after I begged and pleaded he promised to not have me served with papers until after the holidays. Months later during our first divorce hearing I was still pleading with him that he loved me, I just knew it. The entire time since he'd left he'd been sleeping on a friend's couch (or so the story goes). I couldn't fathom how he'd choose a couch over our family at home.It wasn't until the divorce was almost final that I accepted it - happily ever after was no more. One day while driving home from work the clouds literally parted and the sun began to shine. The radio was playing 'Hey Soul Sister' by Train. That was the moment I began to feel hope again. I stopped calling psychics on a daily basis (at the worst I talked to over 15 in one day). I found only one who was willing to tell me the truth - that he was never going to come home. After I first hung up on her, I eventually called back (months later) and asked for more. In that moment she stopped playing 'seer' and actually imparted great advice. She told me I knew deep down I would be fine, but that I had to choose to be fine. It was that simple, yet that hard all at the same time.Today, I am grateful for that slamming door. I've loved and lost several times over since then, and I've learned....oh the lessons I've learned. I've realized my happiness shouldn't be dependent on another person or the money we have or stability we have. In hindsight I can see that 'perfect' marriage was lacking something. I wasn't myself, I was playing a role that I know I would have resented eventually. And I believe he was doing what he felt his family thought by marrying me. But his heart wasn't really in it either....I don't hate him for that.After the depression passed, I realize I could have reached out sooner, I should have. I regret shutting people out during that time. I regret the joys I missed during those six months of depression. What I wish most of all is that I could go back to that moment, sit on the couch beside that broken Amy and hug her. Oh how I wish I could hug her. If I could say anything to THAT Amy it would be that things will get better. The day would come when the darkness would fade and I'd see the sun was always shining, I'd just been too busy seeing the darkness that I couldn't appreciate the light. I'd tell her she is worthy of a real love that accepts her as she is, doesn't want to change her, and she will find it. And to never lose hope. Dark days still laid ahead, but that in the end if she held onto hope she would smile in the sunshine.The depression I faced during that time was terrifying and exhausting and I felt as if I had no one who could understand me, but I see now how wrong I was. I didn't reach out to my family at the time because, well, I've always been seen as the drama queen and I didn't think they would take me seriously...but it was serious, VERY serious. With the help of a counselor, journaling, and major soul searching on my part, I was able to get through and begin to enjoy life again. Since then I am very aware at all times where my thoughts are at - are they positive or negative? Unfortunately last year I went through an even deeper depression, but I was still able to get through it once I remembered all those things I'd worked so hard for and the determination to follow my joy.I don't know if I will have another battle with depression, but I am also not naive enough to think it isn't always lurking. Each day is a choice on what I will focus on. Today, as I have for most days (especially since last year) I choose to focus on being happy.

The other day, as the darkness tried to creep in with memories at how deep my dispare was 6 years ago, I will admit that I struggled. I called my mother and started to cry and she helped comfort me with her tough love (stop it, it's over). I wanted to go home and drink away the memories (I did enjoy one beverage). After a few moments of weakness I turned on empowering music, remembered my belief in God and that everything happens for my good - even when I don't see it at all at the time. And finally I REFUSED to allow bad memories from years ago steal the joy of the day. With that the clouds once again parted and I was singing along with a smile on my face.__________________________________If you or someone you know is battling depression, please know that you don't have to struggle alone. Reach out to friends, family, or seek counseling. I was lucky that my work has a free 800-number available 24/7to call for mental health concerns. I had free counseling at my fingertips and eventually used it and also went to see a counselor in person. Having someone to release the hurt and pain too does help. I promise you it does.If you need immediate help, please go to your local hospital and they will get you to a mental health professional. You can also call for help at (800) 273-8255. It's the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, but just because you aren't suicidal doesn't mean they can't help...they have resources to help you find counseling or lead you toward free resources to get you help to cope with life.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Sometimes you just have to get back to yourself and stay true to what you want and how you want the world to see you. In all the wanting to show the world I write about romance and sex, I totally got lost, because that isn't what I really write about - I write about strong women and men who believe in real love despite what they have seen so far, I write about believing in something better than what you've had, and never losing hope. Yeah there is nekkedness and steam, but I hope my readers take more than that away from what I create.

I really think maybe that is why my writing has stalled, I've been creating stuff that isn't what I want to say. And even if what I put out has sex scenes in it, there is so much more to get from the books. I know for sure that one of my works in progress has a lot of nekkedness at the beginning, but if you read her story you will see it's about her journey to loving who she is and where she comes from and learning that she will never find what she needs by sleeping with random men (maybe a little autobiographical, but so true).

I don't know if I woke up on the right side of the bed or if I had an a-ha moment or just my inner voice saying to get it together....either way, today is a new day. My focus is clearer and my heart is at peace with letting all the extra stuff go so that I can focus on telling the better parts of the story.

Life is a journey, with many twists and turns, we fall and we get up, I want to read books like that, books that reflect my journey and those of people I love. I want to write those stories...not just what happens when the lights are off and the clothes are on the floor. I foresee A LOT of editing of my works in progress...and I'm good with that.

I'll stop being long-winded now and get back to writing things that make me smile.

Friday, September 25, 2015

As important as the characters and their dynamic is to my stories, I also feel that the settings are just as important. They help to better understand the characters backgrounds, upbringings, and every day life.

Balboa Park - San Diego

The entire reason I began to write FINDING HOME was that my 2nd (now ex-) husband and I were newlyweds and we'd honeymooned in San Diego. I fell in love with the area during our week of sightseeing and sea air breathing. Months later, back in the cold Michigan winter, I daydreamed often about the beach - the large expanse of blue dotted by boats in the distance and surfers near the shore. I longed to walk in Balboa Park with it's lush gardens and beautiful buildings. Since reality stopped me from doing as I wished, I wrote it into existence.

La Jolla, CA

When FINDING HOME was finished, I wasn't sure if it was even good, so I submitted it to several writing contests. One of those contests was held by none other than the San Diego chapter of Romance Writers of America. It took a lot of courage to send it to them. I knew if I got one detail wrong on the landscape or locations that, of all people, THEY would be able to call me out! Luckily for my photographic memory, they loved it and knew I'd been there to give such detail!

While that first book was making the rounds in contests and getting lost in translation of various publishing houses new formatting on submissions, another story began to take shape. One song, All We'd Ever Need by Lady Antebellum, hit me with such force, made a loss feel so brand new that I also couldn't help 'getting it out'.

My town - Blissfield, MI

Since the story was based on an actual relationship I'd been in, it was easy for me to write about the town I live in (Blissfield, Michigan). I knew the locations and details, but making sure I properly described them for others became the challenge. I wasn't exaggerating when I talked about the quaint tree lined streets, the annual River Raisin Festival, and even the women's only gym! It really is a great little town.

quiet dock, perfect setting

Sharing that story wasn't just about the relationship, but also the places we went, the things we did, and the feelings that were shared. Granted, at some point the characters took on their own life and so the story is half 'us' and half make-believe, but the town, the motorcycle ride to Toledo, and most especially the dock late at night were all real. TAKING CHANCES wasn't just a love story about a couple, it was also a reflection of my love for my town, county, and the place where my roots run very, very deep.

I can tell you, I will be visiting both locations again in books - I've already been back to California (even if only in fiction) in PLAYING WITH FIRE. And I will return to it once more, at least for part of the story, with the final -yet to be titled (YTBT) - story featuring Mitch and Molly. Blissfield and Lenawee County will set the backdrop for DOWN FOR THE COUNT (featuring Ty and Lily) and another YTBT final in that trilogy with Sunni and Vince.

Stay tuned, because I also know that I'll also eventually show some love to the Great Smoky Mountains, Nashville, scenic Northern Michigan, and heating it up in Florida. Not to mention hopping over to Ireland and England....I REALLY can't wait to actually go there and do some research! But for now that is a few years off.

I love travel, but never get to do it! At least for now I can live vicariously through my characters and stamp up my passport book!

Friday, September 18, 2015

This has been an amazingly invigorating week! With the anniversary of FINDING HOME, it has breathed some more life into my motivation.

At my 'day job' we have this council that announces special events in people's lives - weddings, babies, new homes, etc. - and I reached out that 'hey it may not count for this, but it's pretty awesome to me' on the anniversary of the book....the support was amazing.

An email blast was sent out to the work site (150 strong) and all day people send emails or stopped by my desk to give congrats and ask me about my latest books. They have been with me on this journey as most were here 4 years ago when I sent out the first email saying I had just self-published. When the paperbacks had arrived I sold 50 in the office alone!!

All these good vibes helped me remember 2 things:

I have an amazing support system of friends, family, co-workers that truly believe in me as a writer...let along the fans that love my books! Just asking how my next book is coming along means the world to me - it means you care!!!

I LOVE talking about writing and romance and romance writing (among anything else - I really just love to talk - do NOT get me started on my love of country music either)!!

That passion for writing is always in me, like a pilot light always ready to burst into a full fledged inferno. Talking about story ideas and inspirations and my characters keeps the fire burning. It also kind of ticks me off that as much as I love writing I seem to not make the time I should for it. Kind of like loving to do yoga but never doing it (which I'm also guilty of).

I realize how important it is for me to get that feedback for you - the fans. Every day over at my facebook and now on twitter, I post links and photos and share tidbits of my writing journey. I read all the messages from you, I love the LIKES, comments, and shares. Keep it up!!

Whether your passion is writing or yoga or country music or star wars or saving the plants or whatever - just follow that passion. Revel in it, immerse yourself in all it's good-feeling yumminess, and never forget why you love it in the first place.

Friday, September 11, 2015

Like so many others, this date 14 years ago is engraved into my heart and soul. I remember where I was, what I was wearing, what I was thinking/feeling. I remember driving home and sitting on the couch, numb and unable to wrap my head around "WHY".

Today I can't write about writing or romance or anything else I could have said. All I can do is pray and remember and honor those that lost lives and loved ones. Our nation and our world forever changed on that day. My prayer is that some day this country can remember we are all one, at least for today we remember that.

Friday, September 4, 2015

I've been asked before if my books are stand-alone reads or if there is an entire series? First, yes - they can all be read on their own without having to read any of the others....at least, so far they are. I do have a series later in the pipeline that will need to be read in the series to get to the finale. There is a fine line to balance on making the wait worth it and dragging things out too long - something I never hope to do.

Granted, I could write a bunch of single books and not worry about finishing a series before I start something new, but that isn't how it seems to happen for me. Even if one single idea comes to mind, before it is all over, there will undoubtedly be more stories to come from it. One strong thought quickly turns into sprinkles, eventually the thunder rolls and lightning flashes as another thought joins in, until the clouds open up and it's a torrential rainstorm in my brain. No matter how I try to stop it or bring out the buckets to catch it, the rain doesn't give way until every last drop has fallen from my mind, streamed down my arms and fingers, and pooled onto the paper or keys of the laptop.

And why try to stop it anyway...I've never thought about even attempting that. For me, everyone in a book has their own story, my job as a writer is to make their voices heard. I've never written a character that was just 'filler', I can tell you the restaurant owner that was mentioned in Finding Home will one day get his own book as part of an entirely different series - Fuego. And the friendly staff member at Myra's gym in Taking Chances, will kick off my Kentucky Rain series when the time is right.

Characters in books are very much like people we pass on the street - we all have stories we can tell, lessons to share, and dreams to inspire.

Friday, August 28, 2015

When life has gotten hard or in the way and I haven't been able to write, I can assure you just because I haven't written doesn't mean the creativeness hasn't stopped calling. I've tried to turn off that part of my brain, but then the floodgate gets opened by the most smallest of things (like the waiter singing to himself while clearing a table or seeing the mischievous twinkle in someone's eye).

There are nights I lay in bed and close my eyes for rest, but it doesn't come. Instead images and voices of characters plead their case to take over.

"Pick me?"

"What's my story?"

"Who will I fall in love with?"

"What troubles lie ahead?"

Some of those questions I could have very likely been thinking myself get hijacked by the yet-to-be-created characters that take up residence in my mind. Granted, when I do have the freedom or time to indulge I will get out pen and paper and rough out scenes, scenarios, couples, and the like. This helps silence some, but usually it just opens more doors of possibility and a new wave comes rushing in.

Take for example the work I started to create the other day. After a conversation with someone, images came to mind and though I tried to ignore them at first, they would not stop. Each night a little more would show itself and the images stopped being flashes of scenes and began taking shape into movements and conversations and the feel of the touch of his hand. Finally, Wednesday evening, I gave in.

Not only did I give in to that character that was seducing himself into creation, but also a whole new series idea was birthed out of it. By time I felt exorcised of the leading man I had written over 17 pages! Needless to say, I guess I maybe should have started writing when he first came knocking on the door to my creative brain.

There have been those moments when I doubt myself and wonder aloud who the hell do I think I am to try to be a writer and what gives me the right to think I'm even remotely talented. Then there are nights like the other night where the words flow from me and I realize I am merely the conduit that allows the characters to find life on the pages.

I can never explain how amazing it feels to have all this life spew from my fingers. I know anyone with a passion can understand that magical feeling, that without a doubt moment when you know, deep in the marrow of your bones, that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

In those moments I (imaginarily) throw my hands in the air and feel the wind in my face as I am twisted and turned through until the end. When the energy passes and I shut my laptop all I can do is sit in awe and be grateful for the gift that for some reason has been given to me. Not everyone wants what is created from my gifts, but those that do - I hope you truly enjoy the journey of the characters as much as I have enjoyed going along the ride myself.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Of all the genres to love, romance is by far my favorite. Yes, I have a ton of self-help books on my shelves and in my Kindle, I've been known to love a biography or two, but by and large romance has always been my thing.

I remember the first romance novel I ever read. Okay, so I don't remember the title or author, but I do remember the plot. I remember the musty smell of the book and the yellowish color of the pages. It was an old Harlequin from the late 70s (mind you it was circa 1992 and I was only 12 years old). It isn't the sex scene that stuck in my brain - it was the wicker furniture of her apartment (very 3's Company like) and the fact that at some point someone hit a baseball into someone's windshield and when the leading man ran over his socks went to his knees (random I know)...oh and that the leading lady was a virgin well into her mid-twenties - which seemed old even to me, but I figured maybe all that 'save yourself for marriage' talk was truly practiced by everyone, even in books.

That summer someone had given my mom a large garbage bag of 'cheap romances'. I snuck into the closet where the bag was kept and looked at a few covers, for some reason that book's cover stuck out. That was the first in hundred or thousands that I have read in the 25 years since. I may not remember all the titles or authors, but usually if you give me a brief intro or character names, I can tell you the plots to a large percentage of the books I've read...the stories have stuck with me that much.

So what is it that draws me to romance? Well I can say I've always leaned toward contemporary romance so it really wasn't the knights in shining armor or the damsels in distress. For me what led me to it was the hope of happiness, the longing for true love, and the desire for a happily ever after. Long before the bulging muscles or heaving bosoms, before I knew about alpha males and strong women. For me it was always the hope for having a partner. Not to mention the books took me out of my lonely single-dom and put me in worlds far outside the realm of my small town life. Not only were the possibilities endless in the books, but it gave me that glimmer of hope that those same possibilities were available to me in the real world.

Yes, I love the steamy sex, the moans of ecstasy, and the riding off into the sunset. I love when he brushes her hair back and gently kisses her neck or when she runs her hands over the taunt tan muscles of his forearm. But for me, more than any of that, it's what goes on inside the characters...

I love characters that have been hurt or don't trust easily (they are my tribe), I rejoice for them when they begin to take down their walls and see a kindred spirit in someone else. I get all warm and fuzzy when they believe they deserve passion and deep love ... and great sex (I mean come on now)!! I love that no matter how dismal my personal relationship status may be at that moment, I can get lost in someone else's happiness - even if it's only fiction.

Before I was ever a romance writer I was a romance reader. Not only do I love reading these characters, but I love writing them. Like any writer, bits of me are in them and in some ways I live vicariously through them. Also, sometimes when I put those bits and pieces in, what I get back is so much more - more belief in myself, more hope in my own heart, and more possibilities of my own happily ever after.