Friday, October 31, 2014

My very clever AP Language students had to adopt a persona of their choice and answer this question as part of an assignment on tone and point of view. Their responses were too much fun not to share.Why did the chicken
cross the road?

RAND PAUL

Why are we questioning the chicken’s right to cross the
road? Government regulation is the only barrier that prevents the chicken from
freely crossing the road. If our nation continues in this direction, our children
and grandchildren may instead be asking: why did the chicken get blown up by a
hellfire missile?

PRESIDENT OBAMA

Tonight we come together as one nation to contemplate why
the chicken crossed the road, and we will not stop until we do so. But today, I
ask us all to step back and reflect, and I think you will see that the road
itself, like our union is strong.

Because the government built it for him.

MITCH MCCONNELL

It’s simply not my job to create opportunities to evaluate
the chicken’s crossing. There are no roads to cross anyway, but we can fix
that.

ALISON GRIMES

The chicken has had 30 years to cross the road. If I’m
elected, he’ll actually get to the other side.

FBI

We can neither confirm nor deny that the chicken crossed the
road.

STEVE JOBS

He saw opportunities and innovators on the other side. He
imagined the operating system, task bar, and interface of the future.

MILEY CYRUS

It’s not my responsibility to know why the chicken does what
it does. I’m just trying to enjoy being young and I don’t need anybody
criticizing me.

“Because he can’t stop. He won’t stop.”

KIM KARDASHIAN

Uhhhh, I’m not sure what you mean, but I have absolutely got
to find him! BFFL!

FORREST GUMP

Mama always said, “Life is like a box of chicken. You never
know why it’s gonna cross the road.”