We don’t worry about our teeth — we’re pure

Updated 1:06 pm, Friday, October 10, 2014

Last year, I wrote about a guy who stopped to take a pee in Reservoir No. 5 on Mount Tabor near Portland, Ore. The reservoir provides drinking water for Portland. The teenager was caught by a security camera and the footage was made public.

So what happened? The city drained the entire reservoir, all 38 million gallons of it. The urine posed no public health risk at all — within seconds, it was so dilute that it was undetectable. Besides, urine is not poisonous.

And fish pee all the time.

But the actual science of it made little difference. Portland takes its water really, really seriously. Portland takes a lot of things very seriously. Compared to Portland, we in the Bay Area are earth-despoiling capitalists. We are insufficiently organic. We are not mindful of the dangers that lurk everywhere.

And this year, by popular vote, Portland banned fluoridation in its drinking water. The water must be kept pure, because our bodily essences must remain pure. It does not matter that science has been studying the matter for a very long time. About 75 percent of the people in the United States drink fluoridated water, and everybody’s fine.

But still, maybe they’re really not fine. Because you can’t be too careful. Doesn’t matter that fluoridation is supported by nearly everyone who has looked into the matter, including large public health organizations, doctor’s groups and the government. Doesn’t matter that thousands of studies have determined that fluoridation is safe and prevents tooth decay in really significant levels; there’s this study that some of the chemicals in the fluoridation cocktail might be dangerous.

Oregon ranks 48th in the dental health of it citizens. A little fluoridation would really be useful, particularly for people who do not have enough money to see a dentist. But no, it’s a government plot to poison us, or something.

It’s a matter of free choice, said the opponents of fluoridation. Really, that was a campaign argument. It’s like being against seat belts because they interfere with the God-given right to drive unencumbered. (There was resistance to seat belts, too, back in the day. That’s pretty much dried up, although there are plenty of scofflaws.)

“The idea of political conservatives dismissing Science (in its capitalized, deified form) when it suits ideology, particularly when it comes to climate change and evolution, is a familiar media trope. The left, however, has hardly covered itself in glory with some liberals’ attitudes toward vaccinations, homeopathy and other issues. In Portland, in fact, fluoridation opponents employed many of the methods more commonly associated with the right ...

“For (pediatrician Philip) Wu, that attitude shows how a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. A single study suggests that something might be rotten in the state of fluoride. Fair enough. But one study is only one study. It can and should spur further investigation but, as a study, its reach should be limited. 'It can’t lead to grand conclusions,’ he says. 'That’s the way science works.’

“However, he notes ruefully, that is not how politics work. 'Once the other side had introduced doubt, that opened the door to talk about other sets of values,’ he says. 'Not values that say science is bad, but values that perhaps supersede science.’ Fluoridation ran into a city that loved the idea of a pristine watershed remaining pristine, that resented being condescended to by a bunch of medical and dental organizations, and was confident in its ability to think for itself.”

It is certainly true that the left has always had hypocrisy problems. The obsessive left often finds itself trapped in tiny little ideological corners, all the while talking about social justice.

They’re still taking the Truthers seriously at KPFA. See, the planes didn’t really run into the World Trade Center or the Pentagon. Rather, the buildings were destroyed or damaged from within, part of a plot by Dick Cheney and George Bush to drum up support for the war they knew they were going to start.

It’s not that much different than the “Obama was born in Kenya” meme that went around for a while, causing the president to produce his birth certificate, which was of course fake because that’s the kind of thing Obama would do.

It’s a nice self-perpetuating loop. Everything is further proof that there’s a giant cover-up going on. Every dissenting statement becomes part of the web of deceit. Of course the scientists are covering up the fluoridation scandal; they’re just protecting themselves. And those statistics? Can you really trust them? And so forth.

It’s a hard world to maneuver through, that’s for sure. No need to resort to superstition, though; there’s plenty to do within a 1-mile radius if you want to help.

In other news: Congratulations to the Giants for making it this far. It was reported that the Giants hoped the win would silence the naysayers. I was a sayer of nay. Consider me silenced.

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily; then he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at jcarroll@sfchronicle.com.