Hey there, I enjoy what you've got started with this piece! I like the way you set up your second stanza, it was very straightforward but it wasn't too blunt as to take me out of the poem. Also, I loved the separation of the word 'out', it made what could've been a cliche end to a stanza hit much harder. I do feel, however, that the second line of the poem is a little too long, it seems to stick out between the shorter lines it's sandwiched between. Maybe splitting it up between 'day' and 'knows'? Whatever you decide to do, I like what you have here already!