WHY ARE YOU NOT YOURSELF?

THE HASSID MYSTIC, ZUSIA, WAS DYING, AND HE STARTED PRAYING.

He was saying ‘I am trembling for a certain reason. This is my last moment, I am dying. Soon I will be facing my God, and I am certain he is not going to ask me “Zusia, why were you not a Moses?

If he asks I will say “Lord, because you didn’t give me the qualities of a Moses!”; there will be no problem. He will not ask me “Why were you not the Rabbi Akiba?” I will tell him “Sir, you never gave me the qualities of being an Akiba, that’s why.”

But I am trembling because if he asks “Zusia, why were you not a Zusia” then I will have nothing to answer, then I will have to look down in shame. That’s why I am trembling and these tears are flowing.

My whole life I tried to become Moses or Akiba or somebody else, and I completely forgot that he wanted me to be just Zusia and nobody else. Now I am trembling, now I am afraid. If he asks this question, what am I going to answer?

How will I be able to raise my eyes when he says “Why were you not Zusia? You were given all the qualities of being a Zusia, how did you miss?”