I want to fall in. I want to stumble upon you the way I stumbled upon the first break of dawn when I came into this world.

She knows. She is a perfect reflection of divine union. She always comes when I consent to your doorstep, wet and welcome back from the rain - after the weather has made some sense of me again.

I want to know you the way nature takes a lover - unabashed, unwavering. As I write this, a precious feline makes a nest out of my bony shins. She will find comfort in any form of contact. I can feel her heartbeat through her warm belly to my legs. Heaven.

Love is calling and there's no way of knowing how close I am to it's door but by the warm breath I can almost smell at the corner of my mouth.

I want to fall in. I would call it surrender, but that may be too familiar a word for what is coming next. There is a magic more mundane that will disassemble what I have thought love to be. The only thing to do is bow while my being is splayed open to the great reveal.

Negotiating fiercely with the unknown, I cannot permit death to take me this way. Instead, I open the animal of doubt inside this crunchy rib cage so I can smell my own blood and feel the pulse of my heart beat that connects me to all living things.