Bronx Zoo Layoffs

From the NY Post:
Layoffs in the city have spread to the animals at the Bronx Zoo. The institution is closing four exhibits and shipping hundreds of creatures to zoos and aquariums around the country, officials told the city.

WTF!?!

I was able to interview some of the animals around The Bronx Zoo this weekend. Here are some of their thoughts on the impending right-sizing:

The Reformed Broker: So this news must have come as a shock, did any of you guys see it coming?

Lion: Dude, get that microphone out of my face or I’m gonna eat you…literally, I will put you in my mouth, chew and then swallow you.

Giraffe: Yo L, don’t be like that, he’s just trying to get our viewpoint out there. Look, attendance has been down since last summer, we weren’t totally shocked, ok?

Ostrich: Its not exactly like we had our heads in the sand, we know what’s going on out there.

TRB: What’s morale been like since the news hit?

Giraffe: Well, put it this way: the bears growled about it and the snakes hissed.

Chimpanzee: Let’s keep it real, this is Survival of the Cutest, everyone knows who the people come here to see. Am I happy that the antelopes got canned? Of course not! But we have to do what’s best for the zoo in times like these.