MITCH LIPKA CONSUMER COLUMNIST

Ladies and gentleman, and I speak with firsthand knowledge, the sheer audacity and quantity of these calls is reaching absurd levels. It's time we strike back.

First, it must be said that most of these calls are illegal. That includes the four this week that I have recorded on my home and cell phones.

All of them came from companies selling satellite TV systems.

Two of them started like this: "Hi, this is [salesman's name here]. You've been selected to receive a complete in-home digital satellite system with up to 225 premier channels available. Congratulations."

I feel quite lucky. To win, all I needed to have was a telephone number.

Then the recorded voice, which sounds very authentic says, "You need to call the satellite promotion center at [800 number here]. We can only honor your confirmation for 24 hours. Please call as soon as you can and enjoy your new digital entertainment package."

If you call the number you end up at a call center in California with operators who say they don't even know the name of the company making the offer.

The state Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, which regulates telemarketing in Florida, has a lot of complaints about the two companies that called me, and then some. Turns out they weren't only after my business.

Prerecorded sales pitches are illegal, and so are sales calls to cell phones. It's also a violation of the state's No Sales Solicitation law for certain solicitors to call people who pay to be on the state's no sales solicitation list or those with unlisted numbers.

Bob Carruthers, who for years has been chasing telemarketers that break those rules, said it isn't easy to track down many of the offenders since they use so many phone numbers and usually deliver generic names.

"It takes a lot of work to determine whom it is that's really calling," he said. "If you want to do your civic duty and you believe there's a violation, turn in the violation to the state so we have evidence to pursue action against them."

Carruthers said he figured most people don't even bother calling to complain. "People are numb to those calls," he said.

If anything, though, as automated dialing systems and prerecorded sales pitches become more sophisticated, we'll be getting deluged with more of these calls, Carruthers predicted.

"If there's something hot to be sold, someone's going to try hard to sell the most of whatever it is," he said.

His department sued a Texas company this week for allegedly claiming a machine that plays recorded telemarketing messages is legal in Florida. PMC Computer Marketing Systems Inc. of Houston was accused of engaging in unfair and deceptive trade practices by marketing and selling its hardware and software to Florida companies.

"Our laws are clear that consumers are to be spared the intrusion of taped telemarketing calls, and this case is in bold defiance of that principle," Agriculture and Consumer Services Commissioner Charles Bronson said in a statement.

While the lawsuit might help slow calls from some small businesses -- such as carpet cleaners and air-conditioning services -- it's up to you, the consumer, to make the massive auto-dialing services pay.

If you get one of those automated calls, note the phone number they leave and -- if you have Caller ID -- the number it came from. Then call the state at 800-435-7352 and let them know when a telemarketer breaks the rules.

It's about all we can do to rid ourselves of these nuisances. The call's free.

Mitch Lipka can be reached at mlipka@sun-sentinel.com or 561-243-6653.