Sunday, July 12, 2015

Cities with Peaches and a medium Apple

First weekend as a New Yorker (not to be mistaken for first time in New York, which was about a year ago). This time, I filed a permanent change of address, ground shipped all of my American life in 5 labeled UPS boxes (dropped one off at Goodwill) and flew Delta with 112lb spread over two suitcases, a tote, and a garment bag, on a one-way ticket to Newburgh. This time, I'm neither looking nor moving back after seven months in the Hudson Valley like I did last Christmas.
This time, I am officially a New Yorker, who is not willing to change my mobile number or my driver's license just yet. I'm still loyal to the Peach.

I accepted a job that was not my dream job. It took me a while but I eventually came to terms with it, stopped sending out job applications, and turned down pending offers. I changed my perspective, quit complaining and came up with a game plan. Last year, I interned at this same company at a time when they had undergone a major overhaul. It was a divestiture that left a tad too many employees bitter. Interns of course were not affected but some of my buddies were hit. They were confused, angry, and rightfully so. The emotions would creep into our social gatherings at times and leave a depressing and somewhat complicated atmosphere. Before my time was up, some of my coworkers who were much older in age and had spent lifetimes at the company turned into counselors and offered me their nostalgia-laced career advice. After seven interesting months, I left the chaos behind and went back to finish up with school. And then the company made me a full time offer.

I returned five days ago, and for the life of me, could not decipher what I was feeling. I decided to live it out and evaluate my emotions at the week's end. Certainly, this time the first time excitement and nervousness were largely missing. There was blankness, a bit of impatience, and I realized I was looking out for hints of validation. I found traces of negativity in peoples eyes, and some of their questions and reactions made me second guess and question myself. And then I decided:

I am here to create and grab opportunities and make the best of my time
here. I know where I started and I count my blessings for where I am
right now. I am not going to be side tracked by frenemies and irrelevant
opinions. Save them for your kids. This is my time. I am here to take my chances, my shot at life - my life, and I do not care who validates me or what the next person thinks about my career choices. If I made such a terrible choice in your opinion, why the hell are you still here, working for the same company? My career is not about anyone else but me. Me. And so, I don't care what you think.

It's been a whirlwind of a week, with my apartment move-in date not due till another month. I've had to live out of my suitcases in my trunk and sleep on the couch in SV and EY's living room. It's a mini jungle living with those two dudes, and then both their girlfriends technically moved in. Too much going on but hey, a roof, bed and bath would do for now, even though it's not free. I'm definitely looking forward to some me time as soon as I settle in my own place, furnish the new apartment and get my second car.