No More by Ashley P. – poetry about domestic violence

The following comment was left on 2010/09/02 at 2:42 pm against another post and I wanted to share it on its own:

I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years and he abused me in all aspects. I found the will the leave him when he attempted to hit me while I was 3 months pregnant with our son. At that moment, I couldn’t leave for myself, but I could leave for my baby and I was gone the next week. It’s been a difficult journey because I still see this man and speak to him because of the child we share. He has continued to be verbally, emotionally and once even physically abusive to me in front of our son. We go to court at the end of the month and I’m praying the court will see the kind of man he is and will help me in protecting myself and my son. I wrote the following poem depicting my journey and my realization. I could only be his victim as long as I allowed myself to be and I refuse to be his victim. I hope you all enjoy this poem:

-NO MORE- By Ashley P.
A life that has for so long been controlled by manipulation and fear, So many times left broken and in tears.
Broken bones and bruises followed by promises allowed to heal, Names and accusations, confusion at the appeal.
Was it really appeal, or just a distorted view?
A victim of the lies, a victim of “I don’t know what to do”.
Attempts to do what’s right, attempts to inspire change,
Feelings of defeat when things remained the same.
A will to be happy, a will to stand fear in the face,
Determination to finally escape this dreadful place.
Emergence out of darkness, finally able to see the light,
Finally the courage to stand up and fight the fight.
No more being afraid, no more running away,
No more looking back and living like yesterday.
No! no more being afraid, not one more excuse,
No longer a victim, but a survivor of abuse.

12 Responses

My name is Rebecca and I run this site. Anyone that posts here knows that I may use their poems and post in any upcoming writing. This particular writer has chosen no to use her name so I cannot gain her permission but I personally feel she would be thrilled to know how words will help. You have my permission to post the poem as Ashley P as the author and please reference back to the-laststraw.com. Please note that there are some amazing poems here is you search under keyword poem, poetry. I wish you all the best with what you are doing.

You may like one I wrote about surviving:

I have no more to be thankful for this year…Thank God (by Rebecca J. Burns the-laststraw.com)

No more Beatings
No more Fear
No more Sadness
No more Tears
No more Dreams of Dying Today Anyway
No more Nightmares
No more Guilt
No more Battered Souls
No more Invisible Me
No more Forgotten Fate
No more Wasted Grace
No more Time to Waste
No more Fearing Yesterdays …
I am Thankful for all that I DO NOT have this year.

Hello Ashley, I found your poem and I would like permission to use it at an event that I am producing at my local library. The event is on March 26, 2011 in Brockton, Massachusetts. The performance is to promote healing for survivors of domestic violence with music, song, dance, and spoken word. Please allow me to use it, I think it is very well written and speaks to the reslience of becoming a survivor. Thanks. I look forward to your response.

The poem is really beautiful and touching. It is so sad that often people are not even aware that they are being emotionally abused in their relationship until they start to experience the symptoms of depression. It is important to recognize different forms of emotional abuse early enough so that one’s self esteem will not be severely damaged. Emotional abusers are often also narcissistic. Here is a story of a woman who experienced emotional abuse in her relationship. This story includes some of the warning signs of narcissism and emotional abuse in a relationship: http://www.peertopeersupport.com/stories/70-how-to-recognize-a-narcissist-warning-signs-of-emotional-abuse.html

It has been sometime since you wrote. Thank you for sharing all that you did. It is heartbreaking to read what you and your family have been through. Sadly, the world will never seem to run out of horrible stories like yours. I was happy to hear that you sister had the courage to leave, courage is hard to come by. I am sincerely sorry for all that you have been through.

I grew up afraid that if I told my mother about the incest, she would shoot my dad and go to jail for killing him and I would have no parents. That feel of domestic violence came from a story my mother shared when I was a child. The story was about the only time that my dad ever hit my mother before I was born. When he hit her, she got so angry that she went and got his rifle, pointed it at him and pulled the trigger. She was a very good shot. In her anger, she forgot to check to see if the rifle was loaded. If the rifle had been loaded, my dad would have died that day. I am the oldest of 3 children who would not have been born into a home with alcoholism and incest.

I shared this story because I wanted you and others to see that even the threat of violence can be very damaging. I can only imagine what you went through with an abusive husband. My baby sister knows exactly how you feel. She had an abusive husband who nearly beat her to death several times before she had the courage to leave him. She hid the truth about the abuse from everyone until many years after her divorce.

You gave your son the Greatest gift!!! Besides life, he will now have a choice in becoming a good man. I left my abuser when my son was only 8 months old. I knew if I stayed my son & daughter would identify with violence.
I know what you did was very hard. Look back & be proud & feel hopeful that you & your son will have all you need in life…love & respect.