As steamy days and torrid nights begin to cool, the dog days of summer draw to a close and Labor Day looms large, the Museum Of Bad Art promises you A September To Remember. Friends of this noble institution residing in or visiting our nation's Capital and its environs will have the opportunity to see in the flesh, eighty works from the Museum Of Bad Art's Permanent Collection.

This gargantuan MOBA Exhibition will be open to the public at the Ellipse Gallery in Arlington VA from September 8 until October 18 and is a must see for all bad art lovers north and south of the Mason Dixon line. Scott Wilson, MOBA's Esteemed Curator and Jerry Reilly, Executive Director will attend the official opening reception on Sunday September x at x pm and talk extensively on the creation, history and proud traditions of this illustrious organization. Marie Jackson, MOBA's Director of Aesthetic Interpretation and Louise Sacco, Director of Financial Enablement will also be in attendance to lend support to their dauntless leaders. All friend Of MOBA are cordially invited to attend the reception.

The staff and board Directors of the Museum Of Bad Art wish to extend their congratulations to Mr. John Palmer Claridge and Ms. Trudy Van Dyke for championing this wonderful collaboration between MOBA and the Arlington County Cultural Affairs Division.

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AND WAIT, THERE'S MORE...

Within a short week, another 24 wondrous works from the MOBA Permanent Collection, including the eye opening Scandinavian work "Dog" will wing their way northwards to Calgary in Alberta Canada. There, they will grace the walls of The Banke, at 125 8th Avenue SW for the 10-day celebration of Calgary's famous ArtWeek. Marie Jackson, Director Of Aesthetic Interpretation will attend the Calgary extravaganza to take part in a lively and highly controversial panel discussion on the relative merits of good and bad art. This will take place at the Glenbow Museum 130 9th Avenue SAE on the evening of Saturday Sept 28. Both Calgary events are free and open to the public. For details, check out www.ArtWeek.com.

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AND WAIT, THERE'S EVEN MORE...

To fill the autumnal bad art needs of the rest of North America, the new Roseanne Barr Show will debut in mid September and showcase a feature on the Museum Of Bad Art. Ms. Barr has a long standing connection to the world of bad art through her daughter's bad art collection.

In a magnanimous outpouring of civic mindedness, Ms. Barr's daughter offered to donate a piece from her personal collection to MOBA. The show's producer contacted the museum and requested that they be allowed to present the paintings to Mr. Wilson, MOBA's Esteemed Curator and to capture on video tape both his reactions and his curatorial decision. Their only condition was that the curator's reaction to the work must be maintained as a closely held secret until the show aired in September.

Not since the last episode of the Jerry Seinfeld show was announced has an entire nation held their collective breath in anticipation of a television show.

In the weeks leading up to the taping, the MOBA Security Dept toiled into the night putting together a comprehensive plan for safeguarding the secrecy of the proceedings. Not since the Manhattan Project has a secret of such international importance been shared by so many but leaked by none.

The MOBA staff and Board of Directors nominated candidates for the invitation list to the Security Dept. Each of the proposed candidates was put through an exhaustive background check looking for the least indication of any lack of trustworthiness or minor flaws of moral character. As the weeks proceeded and the security summaries poured in, the majority of the proposed invitees were stricken from the list by the ever vigilant Security Dept. All of the proposed dignitaries, public figures, national celebrities and heads of state were stricken from the list. In the end a trustworthy core group of Friends Of MOBA remained - neither famous nor feted - but united in obscurity by their undying love of bad art.

On the morning of the taping the invited guests arrived hours early to submit to a full body cavity search by MOBA's crack (and sometimes overeager) security guards. Only when Ms. Jane Reid, MOBA's Security Director, had given her personal assurance that their were no recording devices on the premises aside from the network television camera were the proceedings allowed to begin.

The lights were turned on, the paintings were presented, the Esteemed Curator reacted and made his decision as the video tape turned. Only those few souls fortunate enough to be huddled in MOBA's dank subterranean Permanent Gallery on that August morning, know the answer to the question: "Did his Esteemedness like the painting"

To date, we have still not been given a firm date for the broadcast so we urge you to watch the Roseanne Barr Show every day from it's debut in mid September through the foreseeable future in hopes of answering the biggest questions on network television since: "Who shot JR" or "Will he mention the stained dress?"

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SHIPPING ROOM'S TITANIC EFFORT PAYS OFF

For weeks, a nervous humming has emanated from MOBA World Headquarters, as department after department threw itself into the thick of the preparations for the MOBA Road Show. Blurbs were written, printed, stuck on foam core and trimmed. The shriek of duct tape stretching filled the narrow corridors as frames were repaired and new acquisitions readied for their journey. Phones trilled, faxes flew, emails choked the World Wide Web as departure day drew near. Finally it was the Shipping Room's turn.

Never before in the history Of MOBA have so many works been shipped by so few in such a short amount of time. Armed with bubble wrap, shopping bags, U-Haul Mirror Boxes and enough sticky tape to wrap the Louvre, the dedicated team of shippers toiled in record breaking temperatures, wrapping like Christo until something in the region of 80 Of MOBA's treasures were ready for their foray to our nation's capital.

With bated breath. the shipping room staff watched as the American Van Lines tractor trailer driver finally swathed the priceless bundles into 2 building sized cubes, deftly deploying palettes and enough plastic wrap to stretch between Boston and the outskirts of Washington DC. As the security semi pulled out and around the corner, a senior member of staff caught the two shippers off guard. A delighted Pauline Bownes and Chuck Furbush were each ceremoniously presented with the MOBA staffers highest accolade, a "Worker of the Week" certificate.

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NEW ACQUISITIONS

Every once in a while, the acquisitions department is redecorated by fallout from a pastel. Such was the case upon the arrival of "Self Portrait As A Bird", by Rebecca Harris. It was obvious from the stains on the hands and the huge smiles on the faces of the staff from the Esteemed Curator, Mr. Wilson Himself to the lowliest member of the janitorial staff, that this was a masterpiece which will be remembered by everyone who ever sees it. Our profound thanks to the artist for her generous donation to this proud institution.

Details of other works acquired over the sultry summer will be revealed in the next MOBA News.

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FROM THE MAILROOM

Dear MOBA,

In a message dated 98-06-30 14:47:38 EDT, in
conjunction with your exhibition in Arlington,
VA, you wrote:

"We urge all members of the general public to
arrive early and beat the hungry hordes of senators,
members of congress, aides, lobbyists and interns
to the free wine and cheese."

As a long-time supporter of the museum, I feel
I must write in protest! At the last exhibition I
attended, we were served Kool-Aid and spray-on cheese-whiz.

It was damned good, but that's beside the point. Why
should these feeders at the public trough, who are
living large on our tax-dollars (and giving none of
it back by way of grants for bad artists, by the way)
be given such extravagant snacks? I am appalled as both
a patron and a Libertarian!

Jim Sullivan
Executive Board
Libertarian Party, MA

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THE CIRCUS COMES TO TOWN

The newest batch Of MOBA t-shirts featuring full color reproductions Of MOBA paintings have already been wildly popular with credit card wielding bad art lovers across the globe. As summer ends, and the death and decay of autumn sets in, shake off that autumnal melancholy with a full color reproduction of "Pals", MOBA's circus drama, emblazoned cheerfully across your broad chest or ample bosom.

Three beautifully produced T shirts featuring "Pals", "Sunday on the Pot With George" and "Pablo Presley" are the newest additions to the MOBA Gift Shop. Any one of these 100% guaranteed genuine MOBA T Shirts is certain to make a perfect gift for all occasions from a birthday to a death in the family.

We are in the process of updating our website, so with luck, you can view this new line Of MOBA fine fashion apparel in the Gift Shop at MOBA's online shop at www.massbaytrading.com/moba. We urge you to shake off those September blues, throw back your head and smile and buy, buy, buy from the MOBA Gift Shop. by contacting Backyard Computing at (781) 444-6757 and ask for a catalog today.

If you have any friends, relatives, neighbors etc. who are suitable candidates to become Friends Of MOBA -- send us their email address and we will begin the arduous induction process immediately.

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MOBA's Permanent Gallery

MOBA's Permanent Gallery is conveniently located 8 miles south of downtown Boston in the basement of the Dedham Community Theater, 580 High St, Dedham MA. The current exhibition "More Bad Art" features thirty recent acquisitions spanning the full range of the MOBA Permanent Collection.

Gallery opening hours are 6:30-10pm during the week and 1:30-10pm on weekends and holidays.

Admission to MOBA is always free, with steep discounts for children, senior citizens, local residents.