C3PO Robosexual or what?
this is something I have pondered
late at night as my mind wanders
so cyber space being quite so vast
to you in the underworld this I ask?
C3PO Robosexual or what?
my hypothesis begins.
Star Wars
Episode IV
A New Hope is described in the Lucas
data bank as 'Fussy'
fussy as a male tense adjective
almost sounds like prissy,
and prissy intergalactically translates
to well...a 3 dollar bill.
Anyway Episode IV
C3PO lands on Tatooine
comments how dismal it is
and that he has never been there.
C3PO is clearly in denial.
and statistically speaking
most gay men
spend their entire lives in denial
(not that there is anything
wrong with that.)
next C3PO enjoys Luke's company
and C3PO takes a hot bath
and oils himself up in front of Luke
and says, "Oh this Feels so good!"
nudge nudge wink wink;
ie why don't you get naked, jump in
and oil your naked body up Luke.
next C3PO is found in the dark
by master Luke, the set is too dark
but you know C3PO was hiding in a closet.
then. C3PO on the Death Star
as soon as everyone leaves goes
and hides in a closet.
He takes R2D2 with him,
but you know R2D2 is straight
and digging his cinamon bun girl
'Leia' any woman named ;Leia'
is just some one you want to meet.
anyway as the episodes continue
more concerning C3PO's Robosexuality
is revealed.

Star Wars Episode V
The Empire Strikes Back Robosexual or what? continues
in episode V at the beginning,
C3PO complains to R2D2
about Leia's room.
Actually what went down is
C3PO was in the closet again,
trying on Leia's clothing,
when he got oil
(left over from Tatooine)
on Leia's clothes.
still living in denial
and wishing to hide;
C3Po gets R2D2 to turn up the heat
therefore melting ice, creating water
thus washing away the stains.
then he blames R2D2.
Next again on Cloud City Bespin,
C3PO is walking along hallway
and see's a silver PO unit
who says the famous "Echuta!"
to C3PO who responds "How Rude!"
well "Echuta" translates to
"Get away from me
Ye Great Southern Pansy!"
take my word for it,
living in Mos Eggplant, Tatooine
you learn the Lingo.
then C3PO again goes into the closet
which turns out to really be
a Storm Troopers Leather bar
and the rest is cinematic history.

Star Wars Episode VI
Return of the Jedi again C3PO returns to Tartooine
like he has never been there.
C3PO is unhappy about hanging out
with Jabba The Hutt,
R2D2 on the other hand
thinks it's cool,
cause he's serving drinks
and checking out Leia in fantasy
leather Slave girl outfit 101.
C3PO is a deity to teddy bears
how macho!
C3PO is squeamish about being
mistaken for a deity,
R2D2 is like
"beep, beep, boop!"
"Han, Luke take a hike.
Leia back into that slave girl outfit.
Wicket you and the little furballs
worship me!"
other than that C3PO
justs seems well Robosexual.
(not of course that there is anything
wrong with that.

Star Wars Episode I
The Phantom Menace is on Tatooine.
C3PO was born on Tatooine.
C3PO is queen of 'De Nile.'
C3PO is spending time with a boy
only 8 or 9 years old
and he is naked.
gay men are often hedonistic,
and fond of bodily nudity.
C3PO feigns shock at being nude
but secretely he is diggin it.
(Palpatine is a pedophile)
proof of this is in episode VI
Vader says
"my son is here I have felt him."
Palpatine responds
"funny that I have not."
intergalactic chicken hawk.
bad emperor.

Star Wars
episode II
Attack of the Clones joins the military
and disguises his true self
because it okay to be gay
in this man's army
just not admit
or say that you are.
and in episode III
to come C3PO will get
a new golden body plating
at I might add the expense
of political slush funds
and kick backs,
yes the tax payers of Naboo
and some poor family
of Gun Guns is going to go hungry
cause C3PO wants to look pretty.
final proof of C3PO's robosexuality
comes from the Jawa's themselves.
while in a bar at Mos Eggplant
a Jawa conversation concerning
C3PO was overheard and recorded
during one of the Max Rebo Band's
afternoon sound checks.
contact DarthEggpalnt for a copy
of this recording.

not knowing how long
a message can be,
I thought I would break it up.
However I will try to weave
the warp and woove
of the tapestry
which are the threads which
make up this form.
so I will attempt to
talk to myself
in the dark reccesses of my mind
and not on form.
Because it might be considered bad form.
and sorry Gendo
but you have to admit,
you'll never look at
a C3PO emodicon
or avitar the same again.