Maybe I would feel just as glum about it if I had done all those life things you’re supposed to have done by now. 35 could still be all boo-hoo even if I did have a for reals career, a kid or two, a mortgage and a partner legally obligated to contend with my oldness.

But I suspect those developmental delays have a bit to do with the feeling of having messed up a bit some how along the way. I turned 35 and I didn’t get it right!

So, I’ve been thinking about my “life list” and trying to identify those things that I really, really want to do before I’m done. The things that could make it feel right.

Weirdly, the things I really, really want are not that exciting at all.

I want to save enough money for retirement.

I want to be a faster runner.

I want to remember to send birthday cards.

I want to be a good aunt.

I want to grow my own basil.

I don’t have a collection of dreams that I’m afraid to shoot for. My life is far from perfect, but I’m not pining for something. There’s a vague pining for the mundane, but big things I feel like I should have done by now. Which is possibly not even pining but actually fear that my friends and cohorts are all leaving me behind.

All those things, the babies-marriage-house-career, they could still happen. I can still figure out if those are all things that I really, really want. I’m not giving up, just because of this 35 business. It’s not a deadline.

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9 responses to “birthday thirty-five”

You are very fun to read. Be sure to put and keep “funny, entertaining writer” on your list. Everything else will pale in comparison. Happy Birthday, or as my daughter says, “Happy Birfday.” She will soon be 35 and hasn’t lost the fun of being human. She chooses to say “birfday” and when her age doubles in many, many, many years from now, she’ll probably say she;s “sebety-fibe.”

I agree with Samantha! And be proud of what you’ve done, not worry that you’re not comparing to other people in the world. Everyone is different, and everyone is on different time schedules, and sometimes you’re just meant to do different things than others!

I turned 36 this year. That means exactly half my life ago I was finishing High School. If you had told me then that I’d have a PhD and be living in London, I think I would have laughed in your face! It’s funny how the world works and the places life takes us, and embracing it all (good and bad) is a good way to grow and enjoy life!