Thursday, April 28, 2011

Weellllllllllll, here we are knocking on the door of Friday! I hope she answers quickly! I really hate to wish my life away looking forward to a future time, but every now and then, you just really get antsy for that day off!

I live in a very interesting area of the country. My county's motto is "Small Town Friendly" and it really is! The atmosphere here is just very much Mayberry with a touch of Peyton place for good measure. Southern accents abound and so does the famous Southern hospitality. There is so little by way of entertainment in our community. Friday night at the local Walmart is always fascinating! It's the town "hot spot"!

Here in my little neck of the woods, I hear such interesting things. While waiting to pick up my kids at the bus stop, I overheard a group of elementary school girls talking and giggling while waiting on their parents. I hear the shrill excited voice of one little girl (about 7 years old maybe) animatedly telling her friends in the sweetest country drawl, "My daddy wanted to name me after his ex-girlfriend!". She said this a number of times over the din of the other girls yelling and giggling. Finally, lounder than everyone, she gets their attention. Jumping up and down she enthused, "My daddy wanted to name me after his ex-girlfriend! But my Momma said, 'NO WAAAAAAAAAAAY'!" Now if you can picture this with a high pitched crescendoing "WAAAAAAAAAY!" I thought I'd fall out of my car! When I got home and told my husband, we were both almost crying. Now, everytime one of says something the other disagrees with; in our highest soprano voice we sing, "No WAAAAAAAAY!"

There is a place that we like to go to for breakfast in a neighboring town. It's a little cafe that specializes in "liver mush", a local unique food favorite. It sounds gross, but I promise it's WONDERFUL in a "we're starving and there's a dead pig laying around, so let's scrape out his innards and mix them with cornmeal, fry it and slap it on a biscuit!" sort of way. It's always a treat for us to have breakfast there as it's where everyone in the town seems to converge. The last two times we've been there, I've had to go to the restroom immediately following a gorge-er-ific breakfast. So, in the two stall bathroom, I head to the one vacant stall. I sit down and all of a sudden I hear a voice say, "I like your shoes". I look around, for a moment assured that God is giving me a verbal blessing on my shoe obsession. But this could only be true if God speaks with a twangy female voice. Then when the voice repeats, "I like your shoes. I used to be able to wear heels like that." Now I reply, "Oh, Thanks! I love them!" And so begins my conversation and association with the Shelby Cafe Bathroom woman. The only contact that I have is her twangy voice and her geriatric feet planted about 18 inches apart right behind the closed stall door. Our conversation ends with me washing my hands and bidding the feet and voice "farewell".

Several weeks later, we were back for breakfast again. Again, I head to the bathroom after eating. Go into the same stall. And guess what? A faceless twangy voice speaks to me, "It just BOTHERS me when people leave toilet paper on the floor!" No, this is not God giving me the 11th commandment. It's HER! What are the odds?!? Me: "Pardon me?" Voice: "I just hate it when people leave toilet paper on the floor! People should pick up their mess". Me: "Oh, I know what you mean...(reaching down picking up the stray ribbon of toilet paper between our stalls). And then begins another conversation that ends again with the washing of my hands and me leaving her like I found her once again........firmly lodged behind the stall door.

Monday, April 25, 2011

The responses that I got over "No Comment! (?)" was wonderful and so well spoken....well typed actually! ﻿It seems as if, even though we all slap on our Blogging "game faces"; there is definitely some frustration out there (myself included) and a coming to a point where bloggers are rethinking how we blog and whose rules we follow.

With the mind boggling numbers of new fashion blogs, it's just hardly even possible to give to everyone the attention that we've believed that we're supposed to give. Reva, of Reva's Rags to Roses, expressed what I imagine to be a univeral thought when she commented, "I liked the no comment, no pressure part of SU's blog because it does take the pressure out of commenting when you really don't have stuff to say, and if you don't comment for a little while, your own comments go away. Comments always make my day!". Oh man! I'm there! When I find myself rushed for time and I don't get to comment as much, my comment numbers go down the tank!

So are comments basically tit for tat? If that's the case. Do they really mean anything? Like Anne of Wobi Sobi commented, "I want them there because they feel inspired or they like what I do, not because they feel like they have to." I'm feelin' you Anne! Don't we all want genuine commenters? I'd much rather sacrifice the number of comments for commenters who genuinely have something to say to me; not that feel like it's proper ettiquete. Don't get me wrong. I ADORE comments and am so thankful for them. I truly just don't want anyone to feel obligated. I think Leia of Leia's Delights said it best when she talked about the thoughts that go through her head, " 'She comments on my blog all the time and I feel obliged to comment back but... I can't relate to her and don't really like her outfits!' It's hard. I want to be sincere in my commenting, but obviously don't want to say anything negative!" As for me, I'd rather not post a comment at all than to say something negative.

So what DO you do when you're commenting just to be nice? How many blogs can you really follow and have something pertinent to say to all of them. To be honest, no one I know does this better than Terri, of Rags Against the Machine. I mean to tell you, I will stumble upon a blog in the far nether regions of the internet. I mean, I'm thinking I'm the Marco Polo of blog surfing. I'll go to comment on some obscure blog only to fine that Terri's made a comment about 12 comments ahead of mine! I don't know how she does it, but she ALWAYS is so genuine! Not an easy thing to do when you're commenting alot.

I think a sweet newcomer to my blog, Gracey, Fashion for Giants (check out her blog....it's FABULOUS!) said it so nicely. "As for comments. I'm just never sure how to handle them. For awhile I tried to respond to everyone who commented on my blog. But, I wonder if it would be better if I just commented on their blogs. Either way I support comments because I know that new comments make me very happy and I hope they make other bloggers happy as well." One of the nicest things about comments is that it lets us know that someone really is out there looking at our blog. That all our hard work is not in vain. And to close, I think Bella, of Citizen Rosebud, gives us all some wonderful nuggets of wisdom. She summed it up nicely when she said, "I am a bleeding heart so my blogroll is now swollen and distended with a blogroll impossible to read. Sigh. I think we both need to take a deep breath, and do whatever we choose to do with joy, and not an ounce of obligation or guilt."

I couldn't agree more, Bella! Let's all take the pressure off of ourselves AND each other. This may make my comment numbers drop, but I'm sincere when I say this. Please don't ever feel pressure to comment on my blog. Even if I've commented on yours....it's really okay. Or if you just want to use comments to just say, "HI Serene!!", that would be great too! Let's face it, you're not always going to like what I put together. I just want you to like ME!!!!! ( Sly wink, huge grin and hugs all around!)

Friday, April 22, 2011

I think I could have entitled this: My Favorite (and NOT so favorite) things about blogging. Style Underdog's return and "nothing added" blog style has really gotten me thinking. So, under the heading of "getting it out of the way", let me start with my not so favorite things about blogging.

1. The self-imposed pressure - post more, be clever, write well, bullet points, take better photos, etc....
2. The inevitable comparisons...."Her clothes are nicer than mine", "Her photos are better than mine", "Wow, she's so creative. I really need to work on that", "DANG! Where did she get all those followers?!?!?", "She's blogged for two months and has a zillion followers, I've blogged for 9 months and have 10!!!", "How does she dress so cute EVERY DAY? I really need to at least brush my hair this week!"
3. "Follow Me" - A personal pet peeve of mine. THIS I VOW....You will NEVER be asked by me to "please follow me" or "take a look at my blog". I'm here. I'd love for you to visit. We'll have coffee and a goody. We'll chat about clothes, philosophy, our kids, our desires, our insecurities, whatever you want actually. But when you visit it'll be because you WANT to visit, NOT because I did a drive by "follow me".

Favorite Things:

1. The creativity.
2. The community.....Oh my GOSH! I've met so many kindred spirits!
3. The kindness.....I've NEVER encountered negative comments on my blog. The closest that I came to that was when Bella told me what she felt my outfit didn't work. But honestly, I LOVED that! I don't need smoke blown up my skirt all the time. I loved that she was sweetly honest.

Now these short lists leads me to the "Comments" issue. My favorite thing and least favorite thing about blogging. I'm feelin' Style Underdog on "no ads". I've addressed that before. I'm totally with her on "no followers"; which is probably simply taking the followers off of her blog (but doesn't prevent one from following her blog). I get "no events" and nothing on the sidebars. But when it comes to "no comments"? Stop the bus, this is where I get off!

My favorite part of blogging is comments. Without comments, there's no interaction. There's no give and take. I love comments because it's allowed me to get to know so many of you! It's fun checking my blog throughout the day and seeing what you have said. What's really cool is that often, the outfit is an afterthought. It's like meeting a girlfriend for coffee. Chatting about whatever. Maybe something in my blog makes you think of something completely off topic.....it's so great that you share that with me. If it weren't for comments, there's really no reason for me to have a blog. I mean honestly, I'm not THAT interesting!!! I'm wearing clothes everyday. I can find only so many ways to wear a skirt! But the comments tell me and allow me to tell you, "I get you!" and isn't that what we all want to hear sometimes?

But let's keep it real. Comments can be sooooooo frustrating! Oh CRAP! I need to comment back! Is "Thanks" enough? Sometimes I really don't know what to say. It's easy for me to comment on my friends' blogs (which became friends through the comments), but when I'm trying to reciprocate a visit; there are times when my mind just goes blank. Then there are the comments that are nothing more than "drive bys". "Cute skirt!....visit my blog" "Love your blog....visit my blog and follow me" "So pretty!!.....please follow my blog" You get the picture! I hardly see those as comments, but rather ads. And then it leads to a conversation with myself:

Nice Serene: "Well, she did visit my blog. All she wants is for me to follow her. If it makes her happy to have hundreds of followers, then don't be a jerk Serene, just go on over and follow her. What's the big deal?"

Jerk Serene: "But I don't WANT to follow her blog. It crowds up my reader and honestly, I'm just not relating with her style"

Nice Serene: "Oh just STOP! Make her happy already! It's such a simple thing to do."

Jerk Serene: "But it's not like she's following mine! She's just trying to get new followers. I don't want to play into that."

Nice Serene: "You know what Serene? It's not all about you. You don't know her. You don't know what her blog means to her. You don't know what her life is like. Maybe getting more followers is the only thing that gives her a little joy right now. What's so hard about just doing something that truly doesn't tax you at all?? C'mon girly! What's your problem?!?!?"

It's EXHAUSTING in my head sometimes!!!!

Sure, comments can be work. But they're worth it. Without the comments, I'm basically saying, "Look at me" but don't give me any feedback; because I really don't want to take the time to read it." That just doesn't work for me. If all I want is an accounting of what I've worn, I can keep that in folders on my computer. But I WANT this interaction! So while this is a route Style Underdog has taken, and I'm glad it's working for her; I just couldn't do it. What can I say? You had me at "Hello"!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Okay, I realize that this outfit is positively confectionary with it's baby shower pink floraly top and white sugar pants; but what can I say? I felt GREAT in it! When I first saw this shirt hanging on the rack in the thrift store, I couldn't grab it fast enough! I felt like it was such a steal, as I left the store with it firmly in my bag; I half expected a policeman to come up behind me and say, "Excuse me, ma'am.....you're under arrest for shoplifting that blouse that's in your bag!"

"But no officer, I PAID for it! Honestly, I have a receipt!"

"Ma'am, this receipt says you paid $2 for this shirt! That's a STEAL! Now put your hands where I can see them and back away from the bag!" (squelch squelch......Need some back up here! Got a live one here!!!)

Fortunately, it didn't play out that way, but isn't that the way it feels when you just KNOW you're getting away with something (even when you're really not!)

Monday, April 18, 2011

A few years ago, I was going through a very difficult and emotional time in my life. My mom had passed away and a year later my marriage ended. It was as if everything that I felt so certain about was far from certain. Everything in my life seemed unstable and precarious. I couldn't even IMAGINE a time where I wouldn't hurt.

In the midst of that time, my aunt (my mom's sister) was doing her best to be there for me and to try to find words to help heal me AND encourage me. She told me that she was waiting for her husband in the doctor's office and had her head down silently asking my mom to help her to give me what I needed. According to my aunt, after several minutes of her silent prayer she felt as if her head was yanked back and found herself staring at a framed poem on the wall in front of her. Once she read the poem, she hurriedly wrote it down absolutely believing that it was just what I needed. She was right! Here's the poem:

After a while, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight

And after a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn
and learn…

With every goodbye, you learn.

~Veronica Shoffstall

If someone had told me 5 years ago that 3 years later I would meet the sweetest kindest man I've ever known and that he would make me feel more loved than I even thought possible, I would have called them insane. But it's true. And the poem is true. I have learned. Many things. But there are two lessons I've learned that stand out to me the most. The first......Trust myself and that little voice inside me. So many times over the years, I discounted that voice as the voice of insecurity or emotionalism. I was pleasantly surprised to come to the realization that that voice was actually dead on most of the time. Doesn't mean I'm right all the time, but when that little voice speaks up, as far as I'm concerned, it's E.F. Hutton and I'M LISTENING! Second lesson....no matter how things look today, things change. The beauty of that is that no matter how bleak things may look, they can turn on a dime. No sense in getting too bent out of shape and twisted over a bad situation. A year later, things can look amazingly different. The Serene I found rising out of all that pain, has certainly learned and continues to learn. But I can honestly say, if the pain gave birth to who I am and what I have in my life today; I can accept that. In fact, I'll even embrace it. So I'll be off now, planting my garden and decorating my soul!!
﻿

Friday, April 15, 2011

First, I have to say...this is one of my FAVORITES! I felt like such a LADY in this outfit!! I rarely wear pink, although I really love it. Most of the time, something sugary pink like this makes me feel confectionary sweet - like almost TOO delicate. And I'm really NOT delicate! But this skirt makes me believe that I could be.

I was standing at the front desk at the gym where I work talking to a friend/co-worker. An older man that is a member there came up to me and said, "Serene, well don't you look nice in that skirt! I haven't seen a pleated skirt like that in AGES! I didn't know they even made them any more." I laughed and said, "Solomon, they may NOT make them any more! This skirt IS ages old!" It just makes me love it all the more!! Have a great weekend you wonderful chickie boom booms out there!!! My baby and I are off to the Highland Games this weekend - I get to see my man in a KILT! Hubba Hubba!

When I took a look at ﻿the pictures of me in this outfit, I thought, "What does this remind me of? HMMMMM?" And then it hit me! Susan, of Little Miss Fancie Pants!! Susan is like a modern day Grace Kelly. She's always impeccably dressed and an aura of royalty about her. Susan is one of the first bloggers I "met" when I started blogging. She ALWAYS has a smile on her face and I love that her photos are transparent (okay, not literally!); she just is who she is and I can tell she gets a kick out of dressing up. I love that about her!

This entire outfit is thrifted, with the exception of the jewelry. I can't even imagine how much the skirt would retail for. I love White House Black Market, but MAN, it can be on the pricey side! It just goes to show you.....thrifting isn't all about vintage, even though that's what I'm really drawn to. Thrifting is just about being wise with your dollars and still getting things you love just as you would in a department store!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

As I age, I become a target. Seems like I'm a target to alot of things: Cereal, teeth whitening, line fillers, cleaners, pet supplies, spanx, support bras..... but not so much the fashion industry. In fact, you know who's targeting me NOW? DEPENDS undergarments!!! THOSE commercials show an middle age woman (40ish) sashaying down the street, swinging her purse with a look of satisfaction on her face. And why? Because she feels completely secure and pretty in her fashion colored Depends undergarments for light bladder leakage protection!!! Yeah, you're REALLLLLY luring me in there, Depends! I guess you figure, "At her age, the last thing on her mind is pretty shoes. She's just trying to keep from PEEING herself!"

So why am I not looked at as a prize by the fashion industry? Probably because I'm not as impressionable as I used to be. I'll be honest. When I was younger, I was much more easily swayed by labels and what was popular in fashion magazines. If I had the money, I'd spend it on trendy shoes or the latest cropped pants. Heck, who didn't want to look like Madonna? ! My whole Dion's Pizza paycheck on rubber bracelets and lace leggings? YOU GOT IT! That was NOT. A. PROBLEM! But now, I'm much less impressionable. It's going to take much more than a pretty girl in the latest overpriced frock to make me part with my cash. I no longer want so badly to look like someone I'm not, and frankly that makes me a good bit more difficult to market to.

I love that about maturity. Sure, television, magazines, media tells you you're past your prime; but I just smile knowingly to myself. Past my prime?! I'm just getting started! I'm just figuring out who I am. I'm enjoying the lessons that my more impressionable years taught me. My best years are still ahead and that's FABULOUS because NOW is pretty amazing anyway!

So Mr Marketing Exec, don't waste your advertising money trying to get me to purchase overpriced trinkets and handbags and make me believe it's going to change my life. I'll keep my life how it is and YOU keep the CHANGE!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

It's probably pretty obvious by now that I don't wear alot of pants. It's not that I don't like pants. Mostly, it's that I don't like them on me most of the time. It's difficult for me to find pants that I really like the way they fit. ﻿I have muscular legs (translated: not skinny) and full hips. I've tried on TONS of pants and it seems like they're either too big, or too tight in the legs and back side. OR I just don't like how they look on.

What's tricky about pants is that when I try them on in the dressing room, they may look great. So I plop my money down for them, excited to have found the elusive perfect fit; only to find that when I wear them and actually MOVE in them for more than 15 minutes, the fit and look change dramatically. How they hang when they're first worn is NOT how they end up looking by the middle of the day.

I've decided that I prefer trousers over pants and MAYBE an occasional pair of jeans. I like the looseness of the trouser fit without it being baggy. And just between us girls, am I the ONLY female out there who seems to get the dreaded muffin top with these lower rise pants? When I was in FL, I found some pants for my husband while thrifting. When they were a bit small on him, I tried them on and really liked (for the most part) how they fit. So then, I decided to start checking out the mens' pants section whenever I hit the thrift stores.

I found these vintage men's trousers last week at my favorite vintage haunt! As soon as I tried them on, I petted them and told them they were coming home. We bonded right there in the tiny dressing room and I have to tell you, it was quite a beautiful moment! I love how high waisted they are!! They still have the previous owner's name tagged on the inside. I think they may have been made for him because there is not tag at all of any kind. Well, Mr. Foster, thank you for donating your old pants! I hope they made you as happy as they are making me now! Rest assured they will be well taken care of.

I'm onto something ladies! It's the mens' trouser department for me from now on!! By the way, isn't this little blouse a dream? I cut off the long sleeves to a better length and replaced a button. I just adore the metallic thread running through it!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

These are the shoes that I found on the same trip that I found my Michael Kors clogs. They are practically new and absolutely FABULOUS!!!! Oh the goodies! They're out there!

The picture of me taken in the blue dress is from today. I piddled around so much morning that I had zero time to do anything to my hair. It was still hanging wet when I yanked it all back into a bun, threw on some make up. I decided to put on a pair of honking big hoops to distract from the hair and actually really liked it for the whole day. This is a bit of a "go to" emergency look!

The first dress is probably the oldest thing I own. It was another find with the shoes and I LOVE it! It hung on the dress form in my room for a week before I decided to wear it. I toyed with the idea of hemming it up some (and still may), but there is a part of me that loves the dress so much, I almost feel like I'm desecrating it! Sometimes it just seems like the tempation is always there to shorten something to make it more modern. I certainly have nothing against going that route, I just don't want that to be a knee jerk reaction of mine to every vintage dress or skirt I get. I actually really like the midi length, it's soooooo feminine. A longer skirt is more bohemian feeling to me. A shorter skirt to the knee or slightly higher feels very chic. This midi length just feels girly........like, "Feel free to hold the door open for me, because I'm a LADY....(smiling demurely)" I wonder if the previous owner felt as fabulous as I do wearing it?

A little over a week ago, my wonderful older sister came to visit me and we went to the Goodwill in Shelby. She also wanted to go by the Celebrity Consignment store that I talk so much about. I just hit the jackpot at the Goodwill! I found these amazing Michael Kors black suede clogs (I had been wanting a pair of black clogs). They were hardly worn at all! So seeing as it was cold last week, I decided I was going to take advantage of the last bit of cold weather we were to have (fingers crossed...figuratively, not literally!) and wear the HECK out of these clogs. I'm loving them with jet black tights!! It's amazing how great everything looks with black legs!

When my sister and I were treasure hunting at the Goodwill, she insisted that she did not buy second hand shoes. She just couldn't wrap her head around the idea of wearing someone else's shoes. She found some great boots and I could tell her resolve was waning. To put her mind at ease I said, "Think of it this way, Verena. If you've EVER gotten a pair of shoes from me; you've already worn second hand shoes! And possibly 3rd and 4th hand because if they came from me, you have no IDEA where those things have come from!" That said, she picked up 2 pair of boots and a pair of heels!!! For about $20 she found such amazing things that are actually better than what she would have found in a department store.

I also picked up a pair of BCBG leather platform wedges in the coolest saffron color. Again, they were almost like new and just my size!

Just about everything above is thrifted and/or vintage. And I can honestly say that I LOVE each look! Have you ever scored something ridiculously amazing on one of your treasure hunts?