I have to entertain your commotion and frankly I don’t want to.A Patriot’s Solitude.

“I have to Entertain your Commotion and Frankly, I don’t want to.
A Patriot’s Solitude.”
Written by: KCKerrie

______________________

I sit here alone, very early on a Sunday morning. The Lord’s Day.
My heart is open to Him as I ponder the countless blessings that
He has gifted me.
But I don’t need a Sunday, to do this.
I ask Pandora to play Love Songs from the 1990’s as I enjoy my luke warm coffee.
All I can hear is the click clickity clack of the keys as I hit them to type this and perhaps an occasional deep breath, as I take it in.
It’s a secret and quiet moment… and in it,
I find my calm.
Perhaps, ABOVE ALL ELSE, it is In The Quiet that I find my ultimate comfort.
I seek quiet like many people seek money or fame or activity.
I am driven to it. Quiet Calls to me and when I find it, we comfort each other.
In the quiet is where I HEAR. I hear that which is earnestly being spoken to me…and Only for me.
The stillness of my spirit.
Deliberate consciousness.

The heat in my car stopped working the other day.
My closet is so bare that the hangers are looking for another job
and I quite possibly could have missed the registration deadline
for my son’s Winter semester at college, and well………Daaaaaamn!
But Okay, everybody has struggles
and stresses.
And I am no different, right? …or am I?

I move past my worries for the time being and I reconnect with the language
in this hushed space around me.
The hush is organic. Inherent. Lonely.
But a loneliness that comforts me…
at least in part.
The world outside is lethargic.
And Yet Loud at the same time.
The world outside is distracted…
at least to that of substance.
So many are so lost in the distractions of the world, that THEY ARE MISSING THE COSMOS INSIDE THEMSELVES.

…As connected as I feel to other people, I do believe that any disconnect that I may have with people is not as much a disconnect between THEM AND I specifically…
But rather,their Own Disconnect.
A disconnect from Themselves.
I HAVE TO ENTERTAIN YOUR COMMOTION…AND FRANKLY, I DON’T WANT TO.

I am accepting of course,
to the necessary functions
of your every day lives.
And I understand that there is a place and time and need, for talk of
work schedules and promotions.
Paint colors for the bathroom.
Account balances
and new snow tires for the car.
Dropping off the dry cleaning and picking up the kids.
And of course, the need for the adult playground of buying yourselves things that pleasure you,
simply because you can.
I get that. I do.

But, in all of that…I get lost.
Not in my own energies,
but I get lost in Yours.
For I am always seeking to find the organic purpose of all of your desires,
activities and movement.
I believe there is often more lost in all that motion, than is gained.
And in watching you get lost…
I lose sight of you.

Perhaps the way I absorb the World Itself, transfers into my patriotic views.
How I define and relate to My Country.
It is simple to me.
Perhaps obnoxiously so!
God. Family. Country.
It is biological to me.
Elemental. Primitive.

After all the endless political arguments, discussions and debates…
to me, it will always still remain
very simple. And the outside noise does not alter this.

Sometimes I ask myself…am I lonely, or am I simply more connected than most, and therefore…ALONE.

There is a distinct difference between the two, of course.
But I don’t really need to know
the answer.
For in This hushed moment I am comforted… and one to which
I will return.