They’re having a memorial for Sarah in Port Hope, Ontario on February 22nd. I wish I could go. I can’t. Instead, I will write my memories of Sarah…

I first met Sarah some time in the summer of 1983…I liked her the minute we were introduced. She was a year younger than I was, and had the same birthday as my brother, September 13th. I was dating my first husband, Kent, and Sarah was Kent’s brother, James’, live-in girlfriend. James and Sarah had gotten together in high school, and had been inseparable ever since. At 6′ tall, James towered over 4’11” Sarah! She was small but mighty!

One of five children born to artist parents, it makes sense that Sarah would get together with an artist whose father was also an artist. While James went to the Ontario College of Art, Sarah was studying social work and psychology at university.

James and Sarah…early ’80’s…

Kent and I moved to Newfoundland in late 1983, so didn’t see James and Sarah again until our wedding in 1984. James was an usher. We spent our honeymoon in Port Hope at the family cottage, and got to hang out with James and Sarah a little bit there. After we were married, Kent and I moved from St. John’s, Newfoundland to Moncton, New Brunswick.

The next time we saw James and Sarah was at their wedding in 1985. They were taking care of a huge old farmhouse in Port Hope for a family friend, and the wedding was held outside there. It was a casual summer wedding…lots of people and lots of food! Sarah made sure everyone was having a good time.

James’ dad and his wife lived in Kelowna, British Columbia…Sarah and James moved there soon after they were married. We visited them with our baby, Kaylee, in the spring of 1987. Sarah was about seven months pregnant with her first child, Dylan. James and Sarah took us on a tour and drove us to a local petting zoo. I’ll never forget the sight of little Sarah with her big belly, surrounded by pregnant pygmy goats…it’s like they knew she was pregnant too!

Sarah, 7 1/2 months pregnant with Dylan…

James, Sarah and Dylan…

Sarah and James returned to Port Hope after a couple of years in British Columbia. They bought a house next door to Kent’s best friend’s. This was the end of their nomadic existence…Sarah and James were putting down roots.

The house was old and comfortable. James’ and other family members’ art decorated the walls. There were books and record albums everywhere. The fridge door was covered with family photos and Dylan’s doodlings. The television was hidden away in the office…when you went to visit Sarah and James, you talked! I remember late nights with wine, music, and laughter…

It was soon after they came back that Sarah opened a day care at the house. Sarah was a natural caregiver…she loved kids and they loved her! Likewise with animals…I don’t ever remember Sarah and James not having a dog or two. When she didn’t have a child or a dog in her arms, she was knitting. I still have the sweaters Sarah made for the girls when they were little.

James and Sarah’s daughter, Rachel, was born in 1992. I had given them a crocheted baby blanket as a gift. A couple of years later, we were visiting one summer. I remember Sarah telling me how they had to wait until Rachel was asleep, and then sneak the blanket away from her to wash it…I hardly recognized it! It was well-loved…

Sarah and James were vegetarians, and belonged to a food buying co-op. It was at their house that I first had “TVP” (texturized vegetable protein) instead of hamburger in spaghetti sauce! I still make one of Sarah’s pasta salad recipes (macaroni shells, broccoli, carrots, whole almonds, mayo with a little lemon juice and dill, if you like). They didn’t force their lifestyle on the kids, but allowed them to choose what they wanted to eat.

Rachel, Sarah, and Dylan, eating spaghetti…

Kent and I split up in 1997. With very little money, I was unable to make the trip from New Brunswick to Ontario very often. The last time I saw James and Sarah was in 2003. I had gone to Ontario to my college reunion, and had arranged to spend a few days in Port Hope so my daughters could see their dad and his family. We stayed at Sarah and James’ house…it was one of the best visits I’d ever had with them! Sarah treated my youngest, Hope, like all the other kids, even though she wasn’t technically related. Sarah told me about being “carded” at the liquor store (she was over 40 at the time). “I told them I had a 15-year-old son at home!” she laughed. The rest of the family came over one afternoon for a family reunion…I remember Sarah giggling as hard as our middle school daughters when 75-year-old Nana did an impromptu rendition of “Who Let the Dogs Out?” (complete with barking).

James’ dad passed away in 2009. Sarah was there to comfort him. James returned the favour when Sarah’s younger brother succumbed to cancer last year.

James and Sarah at James’ dad’s memorial service…

Last fall around Hallowe’en, my daughters got a message from their aunt that Sarah was very ill…cancer. Despite aggressive treatments with radiation, the cancer spread to Sarah’s brain in January. She died February 5th with her beloved James at her bedside…he’d been there around the clock for three days…

Sarah was the first to laugh, and the first to cry. She was the first to hug…all children felt safe in her embrace, and adults felt comfort…

I can see Sarah in heaven surrounded by children whose time also came too soon…maybe they’re fingerpainting…

I just found this by accident when looking for something else on the internet, Sarah was such a wonderful person. She was my best friend I lived next door to her and James for the past 18 years and I miss her so much. Thank you for your beautiful tribute you brought her back to me for a few minutes.