COM 208: Hollywood Goes to High School

1. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office.
That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Same movie…

I did have a test today. That wasn’t bulls**it. It’s on European socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European, I don’t plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. That still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.
Not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism – he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: ‘I don’t believe in Beatles – I just believe in me.’ A good point there. After all, he was the Walrus. I could be the Walrus – I’d still have to bum rides off of people.

What movie is this from?

2. I look exactly the same as I have since summer.
Utterly forgettable. No, I didn’t expect to wake up transformed. I just thought that…I’d wake up with an improved mental state that would show on my face. All it shows is that I don’t have any sort of a tan left.
[Sighs]
I better get downstairs. My family’s probably pissed off I haven’t let them wish me happy birthday yet.

How about this?

3. I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness.
I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I’d never be tardy.

4. Kathryn: I’m the Marcia f*cking Brady of the Upper East Side and sometimes I want to kill myself for it.
So there’s your psychoanalysis, Doctor Freud. Now are you in or are you out?

And another:

5. Lloyd: I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.

Last one:

6. Joel: So is this Guido guy… he’s your ‘manager’?
Lana: That’s right.
Joel: Or a pimp?
Lana: Now that’s quick Joel. Have you always been this quick, or is this something new?