Dear E. Jean: I’m a landscape designer, happily married for eight years. My husband is a really good man, and I’m not a possessive or jealous woman, believe me. But: He can become aroused only if he’s thinking of another woman and is able to orgasm only if he shouts out her name loudly.

I have repeatedly told him that I don’t like it, but it makes no difference. Worse, the women he fantasizes about are sometimes people I know well. I’m totally into sexual experimentation, but this is ridiculous! Please help. —Sick of It!

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My Dear Ms. Sick of It: Ninety-nine percent of men after eight years of marriage are fantasizing about other women; the other one percent are dead. But it’s one thing to think about other women; it’s another to bellow out their names whilst boffing. So tell him, “Shut up, buddy.” Take his dinner napkin. Fold it. Gag him. Have fun!

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.