Work and Pensions minister, David Gauke says the DWP has made great strides towards eliminating a cash-in-hand society for the disabled.

“Obviously, some of them do still have some cash but Rome wasn’t built in a day and we’ve plans to siphon that off as soon as possible. We’re looking at taxing wheelchairs and walking frames.”

Gauke was responding to the Taylor Review of working practices, published today. Taylor notes that untaxed cash jobs such as window cleaning lost the country £millions every year, “That’s money that could otherwise offset tax cuts for party donors” Gauke helpfully pointed out.

The minister credits his famous predecessor at DWP, the legendary Iain Duncan Smith, for nurturing a culture where benefit claimants can be abused by anyone, with a clear conscience.

“That sort of thing doesn’t just happen overnight, it takes years of dedicated malevolence. No, when it comes to benefit slashing, IDS set the gold standard. I’m not fit to tie the strings on his butcher’s apron.”