jared

(S01E13) It's been noted in press reports that the alleged charges brought against Kid Nation have been dropped and the state of New Mexico won't be pursuing them. After watching the entire season, I can see why. For whatever flaws the show might have had (and it had several), it didn't seem to measure up to any sort of child abuse or violation of child labor laws.

The pre-season brouhaha cited the lack of adult supervision as a big problem. Alas, for me, it was all of the adult intervention which became the biggest issue I had with the show. It wasn't the kids -- they were overall a fantastic bunch!

(S01E12) Oh, my. The time is really getting down there for the kiddie pioneers of Kid Nation. Next week is the season finale. So many deserving kids, so many kids who are mere faces in the crowd. Who will get the last few gold stars? Brains? Brawn? Need? Greed? What will be the criteria?

Well, they're kids, so it's hard to say. But one thing is for sure, they'll be steered by the invisible adults in the background all the way to the decision. For me, that's been the nagging flaw of the show -- the amount of adult intervention. But the most enjoyable aspect of the show is getting to know the children themselves.

(S01E11) I feel manipulated. I feel used. I feel a pawn to a lesson session. I feel all I learned in childhood about doing the right thing is so much better than doing the fun thing was snatched from behind my wall of memories and plopped down in tonight's episode of Kid Nation.

Why must fun always have consequences? Or, at least choosing fun over a more serious option? It doesn't always play that way in adulthood. Sometimes you can have fun without regret. Yeah, seriously.

But I'll never be a Dance Master, no matter how much fun it might be. There is something called reality which comes to mind.

(S01E10) The days in Bonanza City are dwindling down for the 37 children still working out their 40 days on Kid Nation. By the time tonight's episode ended, the kids have about ten days left. That, to us, will translate to at least three weeks, I believe.

Ah, but did it stay at 37 children this week? Or did we lose another due to homesickness? Was there a brouhaha? More killed chickens? Hmmm ... now that I mentioned the killed chickens, I wonder why it was so important to kill the two and then none since. Maybe because of the power of suggestion in the journal, eh? Uh-oh. I should have put the spoiler after the jump. Too late -- no chickens died tonight. Oops.

(S01E09) Have children grown more apologetic since my days as a child? The kids of Kid Nation are often as cruel to each other as I recall but then they go and apologize. What's up with that?

Well, they don't always apologize. Feelings get hurt; tears get shed. Maybe it's cruel, but the kids will eventually find out being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be at all times, either. I think I've seen adults apologize a lot less often than the kids on the show. Perhaps they have some sort of super-strain of kids there -- intelligent and mature beyond their years.

Some of them, anyway. And some of the solid ones are starting to crack a bit.

(S01E08) The kids on Kid Nation are starved for entertainment as we might all be soon. I'm already starved for it during the late night hours.

But tonight was a fun night for the most part on the show. My main little man Jared was featured fairly prominently throughout the episode, the kids had some fun, and I even had a few snickers as I watched.

I'd still like to have been a fly on the wall and witnessed how they get the kids on the topic of the journal entry each week separate from the town council leaders visiting the Shack of the Journal. I guess we might never know.

(S01E05) Is it me or was there really not much to get up in arms about this week on Kid Nation? No killed animals, no steer taunting, no religious rivalry, no bullying. What's this show coming to, eh?

Well, there was a smattering of bad behavior, but we're talking kids here. Some of these kids could be teensy adults, y'know. A lot of them certainly are more worldly than I was at their ages. And, the show reminded me that I should really study up on the chronological order of US Presidents. I definitely know the ones in my own lifetime, but I surely would put Taft in the wrong place.

(S01E03) Let's see ... no animals were killed in the filming of tonight's episode of Kid Nation. A few outhouses might have received considerable damage, a lot of pizzas were wasted, and they made ten-year-old Taylor cry. Oh, I think she deserved some sort of comeuppance, but I still felt sorry for her when it came. I suppose she's going to have to deal with it, eh?

(S01E02) It's a bit of an odd twist to the Shakespeare quote, but certainly fitting for this episode of Kid Nation, don't you think? For some reason, I'm not too surprised that 11-year-old Jared has a slight familiarity with the classics. In the first episode, Jared was the king of the one-liners.

It's a shame he didn't continue ...

To kill or not to kill, that is the questionWhether 'tis nobler to slaughter chickensOr cover thine eyes whilst Greg does itTo die, to sleep, perchance to dreamAs the chickens shuffled off this mortal coilFor the sake of reality television

I get it: TV is supposed to lie to me. I know that the real reason Jared lost all that weight was because Subway sandwiches so destroyed his intestinal tract that he wasn't able to eat like he used to. I know that no guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little. I know that despite repeated attempts to prove otherwise, the NHL no longer exists and Vs. isn't even a real TV channel.

But there are some lies not as obvious as these. There are lies more insidious. Lies that don't look like lies. I don't know if TV has an agenda or is just so zombified by institutional groupthink that they've begun to believe these lies themselves, but there's no doubt that they exist and they are subtle. Being the crusading young reporter I am, I dutifully spent the weekend watching television and identifying the five most insidious lies TV expects us to believe.

Jared Fogle, the man who lost over 200 pounds dining on Subway sandwiches, has just released his first book. The book is a detailed account of every sexual encounter he's ever had, complete with full-color photographs.

I'm sorry, that's actually the book that I'm writing, though really it's more of a pamphlet. Fogle has written a book called Jared the Subway Guy: Winning Through Losing: 13 Lessons for Turning Your Life Around. The book jacket reads that the book is written "with Anthony Bruno," so we can assume Bruno wrote the book, though I'm sure Fogle, like, said stuff to him. That's kind of like being a writer. Anyway, it's not a diet book, since we already know the secret of his success, but it is a motivational book to encourage people to succeed just as he did. If you want a book that teaches you how to have a lucrative sponsorship deal fall into your lap because you devised some completely inane method of weight loss involving a popular restaurant chain, then you should buy several copies right away.