Posted tagged ‘MTV's "Jersey Shore"’

Proud to say that I scored an interview with a real New Jersey goddess! No, not Snooki, but Ceres, the Roman goddess of agriculture. She’s lived quite a crazy life – being eaten by her father, getting impregnated by her brother, losing her daughter to the god of the underworld, etc. And since 1777, she’s stood stoically on the New Jersey state flag, the red-robed figure on the right holding the giant cornucopia.

In this wide ranging interview, Ceres shares her experiences as a deity, her views on state politics and even her favorite Jersey Shore cast member. I think you’ll find her just as smart, sweet and surprisingly sassy as I did.

ArmpitNJ: So, Ceres, first of all, I speak on behalf of the entire state of New Jersey in thanking you for watching over us and providing our agricultural riches.

Ceres: It truly is my pleasure.

ArmpitNJ: Great, now that the formalities are out of the way, let me ask the big question: how does someone go from being worshiped among the pantheon of Roman gods, to standing next to a decapitated horse’s head on a flag of a state known as the Armpit of America?

Ceres: And like your career is any better?

ArmpitNJ: Ouch. Well I see the Jersey attitude has certainly rubbed off on you! But please just answer my question.

Ceres: I wish I could tell you. One day, millions of peasants from across the Roman Empire are sacrificing animals in my name, and a couple millennia later, I find myself on the flag. Not that I’m complaining – I should be happy people still know me and appreciate me. It could be far worse. My brother Neptune is stuck on countless neon signs promoting all-you-can-eat seafood buffets. (more…)

I think it’s fair to assume that the attention and buzz around MTV’s “Jersey Shore” has officially flickered out. When was the last time you heard anything about Snooki or the Situation? And when has any late night talk show host cracked a joke about them? And while New Jersey was the butt of everyone’s jokes during the show’s 2009-2012 run, even that has died down.

I think it’s safe to say that the orange grease balls who made up the show’s cast have finally faded back into the faceless obscurity from which they emerged. And the scene of the crime, Seaside Heights, has finally recovered after dealing with the aftermath of the show, Hurricane Sandy, and a nasty boardwalk fire, reclaiming its title as a family-friendly shore town – or so those poor residents thought!

According to our friends at NJ.com, there may be a new “reality” show taking place in Seaside. The infamous club that the “Jersey Shore” cast frequently frequented, Bamboo, posted a casting call for a new show – “I Love Summer.” Specifically, they’re looking for “loud and fun” people, which obviously has residents and officials ready to fight back and save their town from reliving the attention and embarrassment MTV already bestowed upon them.

So is the world ready to watch a bunch of loud New Yorkers making idiots of themselves at the Jersey Shore once again? I think so. Just consider this birthday card (created by New Jersey’s own Designer Greetings) I bought the day before hearing about the new show:

I was pretty confused upon seeing it – seemed like something that should have been on the shelves back in 2010/2011 at the height of Snooki and friends’ popularity. Who aside from second rate bloggers looking for inspiration for a quick and easy blog post would buy such a thing? Why would Designer Greetings put out the card now?? Why would a small grocery store chain on Long Island carry such a thing???

I take it all as a sign that after a few quiet years, the world is indeed ready to make the Armpit of America everyone’s punching bag once again. And if “I Love Summer” actually comes to fruition, that will surely happen. And you know I’ll be watching it…and writing about it.

On this most recent episode of what will be seen for generations to come as the best show ever, we see TWO relationships break up, we lose a roommate (don’t worry – it’s a person no one cared about anyway), and Mike continues to be a pathetic jerk!

This episode begins the next morning after that fateful night at Bamboo, where Sammi hooked up with Ronnie, J-WOWW cock-teased Pauly, and the guys got thrown out. So J-WOWW asks what happened last night, and they tell her she made out with Pauly. Pulling the typical slut move, she denies everything at first. When the guys make clear to her that she did, she employs the other tried-but-not-true slutty tactic – blaming everything on alcohol.

Meanwhile, the most overly tanned and STD-infected love triangle in history (Sammi, Mike, and Ronnie) heads to work. Mike then tells us how The Situation is under control because he has soooo many other girls to choose from. Sammi’s more accurate take? Mike is still very jealous of her and Ronnie. In yet another awesome move, Sammi tells Mike to his face that she doesn’t like him like that. You can see the exact point where these words hit him. Sammi then asks Ronnie what she would do without him. His reply? “Be with that guy,” as he points to Mike. Hahahahha.

"The Situtation isn't used to this kind of situation where The Situation gets rejected."

A little later, we see Ronnie asking J-WOWW for relationship advice. Yeah, when I need advice about anything, the first person I look to for help is someone with huge implants who doesn’t know how to spell wow. But they just make fun of Mike, so it’s ok. Then, in a desperate cry for attention, Snooki walks around the house sucking on a pickle. (more…)