Trigger warning:

This site may, in fact always will contain images and information likely to cause consternation, conniptions, distress, along with moderate to severe bedwetting among statists, wimps, wusses, politicians, lefties, green fascists, and creatures of the state who can't bear the thought of anything that disagrees with their jaded view of the world.

The public surely needs health warnings on products contaminated by this dangerous chemical?The bubbles from beer, champagne and soda water are carbon dioxide, which contains 27% carbon. If carbon pollution is as bad as we are told, there should be a law banning consumption of such polluting drinks in enclosed areas or public places.

This product contains carbon, a declared dangerous pollutant. Use of this product will cause floods and droughts, frosts and heat waves. Exercise caution when using.

In fact, as every food product contains carbon, there should be a health warning at the entrance of every grocery store and restaurant:

Polluted Products Warning: All foods sold in this outlet contain carbon.

To emphasize the danger, the health warning should be printed in green and all food products should be sold in plain wrappers.

Diligent public protectors have also discovered that exhaled human breath contains 40,000 parts per million of carbon dioxide or about 1% carbon, one hundred times higher than fresh air. This could explain the hysterical legislative proposals coming from carbon polluted debating chambers in Canberra. Therefore, in the interests of good government, all future debates on the carbon tax should be held outdoors and no carbon polluted food or drinks should be served in government cafeterias.