Six Sides of Blindfolded Steel:The Most Brutal Blindfold Match Ever!

If you’ve been following pro wrestling for, oh, ten minutes or so, you know there is no shortage of goofy match types. Right off the top of my head, we get tag team matches, triple threat matches, strap matches, chain matches, dog collar matches, inferno matches, tuxedo matches, cage matches, blindfold matches.

Oh, and those last two? Cage and blindfold?

Don’t ever combine them.

I mean, just on its own merits, a blindfold match may be the stupidest match ever devised. Take two guys, cover their heads, and have them go at it. I mean, it’s great if you have a couple of geeks out there and you are playing it for laughs. Even your old buddy, your old pal RD Reynolds did one (and it was horrible – you can watch it here if you dare and if you like THAT, then you should pick up the Worst of RD DVD). So yeah, if you want to look really dumb, and you have no athletic ability at all, it’s the match for you.

But such was decidely not the case when TNA broke up one of their hottest acts a few years back in America’s Most Wanted, a team consisting of James Storm and Chris Harris. Storm is still one of the company’s top stars, but things haven’t gone as well for Harris, and to me, that’s a shame. Maybe it’s just because I worked with Chris back in the day, but I always liked him, his horrible stint as “Knock Knock” Braden Walker aside. So this should have made for great TV with some great matches, which we did get.

Eventually.

But to kick off this blood feud, we got the two guys squaring off in a BLINDFOLD CAGE MATCH.

And it was actually worse than it sounds.

I’ve talked a bit about Harris, but haven’t said much so far about Storm, who I think is pretty good.

At least when he’s not wearing some stupid hat.

Which he isn’t here.

But he used to wear airbrushed headgear all the time, and boy did I detest that. In fact, I wrote all about it in one of my final columns at Fighting Spirit :

Surely you’ve seen the goofy spiked cowboy hat he’s wearing these days. Editor, surely you have a picture of it for those who haven’t, right? Good. Then dear reader, I want you to take a good, long look at that image. That right there is the very epitome of how to NOT look like a star. No, you wear that hat, and you look like a second-rate, wanna be pro wrestler. James Storm may be a “cowboy”, he may be a talented worker, he may be a talented talker. But once you put on THAT hat, you don’t look like a world champion. No, you look like a guy who went to the mall (or worse, the local carnival), and paid $20 bucks for some one to airbrush a hat you got a thrift store prior, a guy who would then head to some two-bit independent show in which he hopes to get a large enough “pay day” to recoup the cost of the paint job.

But I do have to ask this: you came to this show, knowing that these two were going to be having a blindfold cage match.

And yet, somehow, you were expecting WRESTLING?

They’re Impact Zone fans, Man.

Don’t look so surprised.

We get more comedy as Storm whips Harris into the ropes, with the Wildcat grabbing the ropes and Storm flailing wildly with punch after punch. Not sure why he just kept punching. Maybe he thought they were in a 50′ ring and eventually Harris would come back his way.

And then a whole lot more nothing ensues, and soon enough those “We Want Wrestling” chants become “BORING!” ones.

Even the patented “drop on an elbow on no one” spot fails to garner much of a reaction.

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Sad fact- this wasn’t even the first time TNA did a blindfolded cage match.
At the first Lockdown Dustin Rhodes and Bobby Roode faced off in a 2/3 falls “Prince of Darkness” Match. Those not knowing what the hell a “Prince of Darkness” match were treated to finding out it was just a 2/3 falls cage match with the two first falls being a regular match(which was decent but nothing special) and the third fall contested in a blindfold match.

let me add a few more matchez from “Lockdown” that i feel deserve to be inducted-Jeff Hardy VS Raven in a tablez match from ’05/Bob Armstrong VS Konnan in an arm wrestling challenge from ’06/Team 3D VS LAX in an electrified steel cage match from ’07/the 6 team cuffed in the cage match from ’08/Team 3D VS Beer Money in a Philadelphia streetfight for the tag titlez of TNA n IWGP from ’09/Mickie James VS Madison Rayne title VS hair from ‘011/last but not least Team Garett VS Team Eric from ‘012. just sayin.