(works best if sung to the tune of in-a-gadda-da-vida. for time purposes — because I know you’re busy at work — feel free to leave out the 17-minute drum solo.)

(note: author is not being compensated by nor has any connection to the band Iron Butterfly other than bitter memories of his band’s drummer, Ronny Lane, constantly playing the drum solo just because he could. Author would also point out he realizes this haiku sorta sucks, but it’s 6 a.m. and he hasn’t slept in a week and he’s multitasking while desperately trying to make it for the third time to the end of the Hallmark Christmas movie about the woman whose older sister ruined her marriage, Please don’t tell the author how it ends. He’s guessing happily, but you never know. Well, OK, sometimes you do.)

(note also: Aforementioned Ronny Lane is NOT the legendary Ronnie Lane who made the beloved “Rough Mix” with Pete Townshend, but just some guy I grew up with. Although he did become semi-legendary in my mind one icy morning when he did a 360 in the Ford Falcon while we were delivering papers without skipping a beat in his delivery. He also never skipped a beat in his in-a-godda-da-vida drum solo, despite being primarily a trumpet player. Yes, I realize you stopped reading about a week ago.)

poopy run for me
bathroom break at 2.8
bathroom not till 3

(The author readily admits this haiku was a bitter disappointment after the long buildup, much in the same way of side 2 of the Iron Butterfly album. The author is off to throw his paper route now. Adieu.)