I've an odd problem (and I'll be interested to hear if any of you lads have the same) - my beard grows asymmetrically. The 'grain' of the bristles points to the right. I'm pretty sure this is due to me being right-handed & less-than-detailed grooming instruction from my dad. Result - if I don't trim at least once a month, I have this right-handed sprouting happen!

I switch between DIY and professional after each encounter with the other. Nervous about making a mess myself but know how I want it; whereas the professional will (usually) do a decent job but never quite trim it how I want it. The obvious answer is for me to become a professional but, unless Whitechapel volunteers for me to experiment/train on, that ain't likely.

I received one of those beard trimmers last xmas but know I'll end up clean-shaven if I let rip with it. Just need to get my loins girded and practise practise practise, I guess. There should definitely be college or night school courses offered for it.

Edit @ Cat Vincent: You're not alone. The left side of mine curves/curls to follow to shape of my jaw & chin but the right side goes to the left, too, which ends up making me look permanently windswept. However, I've found that the longer you let it grow, the weight seems to keep it better under control and straighter. Or just so bloody bulky I can't see its partisan swirl.

There should definitely be college or night school courses offered for it.

Right? I wish I was a member of some sort of 1800's gentleman's club that had beard grooming instructors or something, and we all sat around smoking pipes and drinking scotch and discussing our trips into the African jungles, guffawing at society and stuff like that.

@ government spy: if that were the case, we'd have "our men" to trim, wax and generally maintain our whiskers. And if they messed the bugger up, we'd thrash them to within an inch of their bally lives. Baaah!

I trim once a week. I give it a once-over with clippers, shave the cheeks and neck with a safety razor, and then go at it with scissors. It also takes me about half an hour, which is why I only do it once a week.

I have given in! I can't not participate. On the topic of soap vs. shampoo I normally just use soap as I wash my face. For some reason shampooing never crossed my mind, but I gave it a try today. Results: softer than normal. I quite like.