2.03.2013

"If there was room to get emotional and not fear being written off because of it; if I didn’t struggle to control those emotions in order to be taken seriously, and then become angry at the thought of silencing myself, and then silence that anger and so on in a continual loop; basically, if I could Take Up Space in a way in which I could still be myself, then I have a feeling that it all wouldn’t seem like Being Too Much anymore. I wouldn’t feel like I was spilling over the boundary of “appropriate behavior,” if that boundary were a little more malleable, a little less judgmental. There wouldn’t be the same urge to smash up against it or kick it down. And since I don’t see permission to alter those boundaries coming from anywhere else, maybe I just have to give it to myself."

and

"Chris Kraus recently said in an interview that the work she loves the most is “the work that doesn’t try to make itself loveable.” I, too, love this kind of work. I find it brave and exciting and truthful and important. And I admire it because it’s hard to break those habits. To realize that the love and approval of someone else is not going to get you to a place of trusting yourself. And any worthwhile work is not going to come out of any other place. This is, for me, tied to the idea of giving permission to yourself, of deciding to Take Up Space in a way that doesn’t stifle. Trusting yourself to make your own limits."