Dear Readers,
This week Jocelyn and Lana have asked me to pilot a new format for KidScreen.com: Horoscopes. Now, I have to confess that I have never been a very big ...

This week Jocelyn and Lana have asked me to pilot a new format for KidScreen.com: Horoscopes. Now, I have to confess that I have never been a very big believer in the zodiac but I did some Googling and managed to find a bona fide “astrological consultant” who showed me that we really can find guidance in the stars if we know where to look.

So, below please find your horoscopes for the week of December 14. I hope you will find these helpful and reassuring during this largely toyless holiday season.

AQUARIUS – This week patience will be a virtue as you try to get your digibetas back from TV-Loonland.

PISCES – There will be laughter and tears as you spend another Friday night alone with Elmo’s Tickle Hands.

ARIES – You must fight the holiday blues when your accountant explains that you have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than recouping your production costs.

TAURUS – Romance is in the air as you consider marrying your Canadian cousin in order to qualify for CANCON.

GEMINI – You will receive an e-mail from a dark, mysterious gentleman in Mumbai inquiring about animation service work and co-production opportunities.

CANCER – Money worries force you to schedule all of your KidScreen Summit meetings in the Hilton lobby to avoid paying the registration fee.

LEO – Keep your cool this week when a stranger assumes you’re a pervert because you make shows for preschoolers.

VIRGO – Confusion strikes when you get your first back-end check and discover you owe the network $5,367,908.

LIBRA – Remind yourself that violence does not solve anything when you are pitched three consecutive preschool shows featuring a character named “The Book Worm.”

SCORPIO – You will have a major breakthrough in therapy when you finally admit that you like your animated characters better than your actual children.

SAGITTARIUS – Try to forgive yourself this week when you make the embarrassing faux pas of pitching your Christmas special to Al Jazeera.

CAPRICORN – You will discover that Matt Wexler is actually the Canadian Tom Hanks living the dream in Big.

Spooky, right? Please let us know if you would like us to make horoscopes a weekly feature on KidScreen.com. We’re also exploring a few other new column ideas including: Sensitivity Training For US Broadcasters, How To Animate Your Pilot Using Interns and The Best Cuban Rums Of 2009.

If you have any other suggestions, please include them below.

Josh

PS: In keeping with the times, you can now follow me on Twitter @littleairplane or I invite you all to friend me on Facebook @ “Josh Selig.”