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The Sunday Series (66), with Mark Brodinsky

If all the world is a stage, then such is life. So many of us want the world to see our front stage, the performance, sometimes raw and real, but so many times simply an act, as we conceal what is really going on behind the curtain, what is happening backstage. Because if you are truly living, everyone has been there. Peek through the door, inside the curtain and there is likely something you could share to provide courage, hope or inspiration to another human being.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is the Sunday Series.

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The Sunday Series (66): Rare

“It definitely opened my eyes and put me in tune to other people. Be nice and sensitive to everyone, cause we don’t know what they are going through.”– Erin Levitas

When you are in your 20’s it’s not always easy to go that deep with your thoughts. Life is egocentric, the world is your oyster. You are about to open it and dive in to the unchartered, but hopefully exhilarating waters of a career and a new, independent existence. One filled with questions which can only be answered by the experience of living your dream.

Until that dream is put on hold.

With college graduation on the horizon, and at the still tender age of 22, Erin Levitas and her dream are on standby. It was back on March 5th, when Erin first felt the pain and the mass in her abdomen, she thought it really wasn’t a “big deal, she would be totally fine”. “I’m a healthy college senior, I didn’t think anything could happen to me”, says Erin, “but when I went into surgery, it felt a lot worse than I thought it would be. The doctors immediately knew it was cancer. They told my parents and then the next day the doctor came to talk to me. With my parents each holding my hand on either side of the bed, the doctor told me everything that had happened. He said they found a large tumor and it was cancerous and it had spread throughout my stomach. I didn’t really hear any of it. And then five minutes later I asked him, ‘you said I have cancer?’. He said ‘yes’, then I broke down. It was my turn to process it.”

It took nearly a month for the actual diagnosis. And it is Erin who explains it best in the journal on her Caringbridge page:

My diagnosis is called high-grade endometrial stroma sarcoma, not of the uterus. To put this in simpler terms (trust me, my PHD from Grey’s Anatomy has not prepared me to deal with all this medical jargon), I have a cancer that is created in the GYN region of the body, but it is located in my stomach instead of in my ovaries or uterus. This is extremely rare, I am one of only a handful of people to ever have this form of sarcoma but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me well since I have always been very unique (I like to call myself the trendsetter of cancer).”

Any journey through illness can be tough, but as evidenced by the excerpt above, Erin is handling it with honesty, with humor and with the fight building inside her, to tackle this head-on. After her surgery, Erin notified the staff at Wake Forest University where she attends college, and they thought there was no way Erin would return. But not long after going under the knife, where the doctors cut her entire stomach open to remove as much of the cancer as possible, Erin was back on campus.

It was a brave move, but also a somewhat unsettling one. Post-surgery Erin was having trouble walking, so she was making her way from class-to-class on a scooter, having someone help carry her books then sometimes popping pills in the middle of class when sitting for too long became uncomfortable. She says she could hear the comments from some of those around her that she looked too “normal” to be riding a scooter or taking pills in class. Erin says not everyone could understand, “just because I look normal on the outside, doesn’t mean I’m not fighting a battle on the inside.”

Remember, front stage vs back stage.

“I don’t look sick”, says Erin. “Even my friends said I can’t believe you had major surgery a week ago because you look so great. People don’t really know what is going on. It’s hard for my friends to comprehend because I look healthy and talk to them about everyday stuff, so it’s hard for them to believe someone like that could be sick.”

But whether she looks sick or not, Erin’s friends, especially those at Wake Forest and her Alpha Delta Pi sorority sisters have been unwavering in their support. “When I went back to school I couldn’t go to sorority formals, but my sisters have been so nice and accommodating, doing movie nights with me and other things to make me feel better.”

And then there is the Gamma Omicron chapter of Theta Chi, a fraternity on campus. In the next few weeks, as soon as the doctors create the proper “chemo cocktail”, Erin will begin a long run of chemotherapy treatments, as much as six months to a year. In a demonstration of compassion and support for Erin’s upcoming challenge, some of the boys in Theta Chi shaved their heads as a show of solidarity with their “little sister”.

And there are the friends from back home in Baltimore. Erin says her best friend Claire has been there every step of the way getting sarcoma awareness bracelets and belly-button rings to raise awareness. Her high school friends from St. Timothy’s have reached out to show their support as well.

And of course there is family. Erin says her older brother Harris (who is only two years older) has been, in her words, “absolutely amazing.” She says, “he takes me out a lot and makes me feel normal and not like the sick kid. He doesn’t live in our house anymore, but he stops by and hangs out. He sent me the cutest gift, flowers in the shape of a white dog, because we both love dogs.”

Erin says her parents have been dealing with all of this really well. “They have been there for me every step of the way”, she says. “My favorite thing they do is they don’t treat me any differently. When they found out I was sick they could have looked at me as if I was dying, but they don’t. We joke around about everything. But they will change their plans in a second for a new doctor appointment, or if I am not feeling well.

And my Mom, wow, my Mom. I don’t have children so I don’t know what it feels like, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to watch your daughter go through this and not be able to fix it. You can’t put a band-aid on it and fix it. But she just holds my hand and makes me laugh and smile. She is my best friend.”

And Erin’s “best friend” has already been on some interesting trips Among the numerous doctor visits, Mom and daughter have traveled to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston and are expected to soon visit Sloan Kettering in New York. The specialists from both centers are now looking at tissue and tumor samples and trying to determine if the cancer matches the original diagnosis ,or perhaps, just perhaps, while still stage 3 and a sarcoma, it is not the rarest of cancers.

This coming week will tell the tale and it will be huge for another reason.

While Erin might not know what it’s like to be a mom, she knows one day she wants to have that chance. So, in a move that shows tremendous maturity and foresight for the 22-year-old, Erin has been going through fertility treatments. The goal is to harvest as many eggs as possible and freeze them for the future, so one day, Erin can have children of her own. The upcoming chemotherapy treatments could severely damage any chance Erin has for producing healthy eggs, so for weeks now Erin has been getting hormone injections and sonograms and everything looks positive. As many as 30 of the eggs look viable and tomorrow morning (Monday, April 20th), the egg retrieval process is expected to take place. It is Erin’s best shot at immortality, to one day become a mother.

The upcoming week is also expected to bring the insertion of a port for the upcoming chemotherapy treatments (Wednesday) and sometime this week, word from the cancer specialists at Sloan Kettering and Dana Farber on the final cancer diagnosis. From harvesting the best chance to create life down the road, to finding out how to save her own, this is a week Erin won’t soon forget. And she is looking forward, not back and certainly not being overwhelmed with her current circumstance.

“I just feel like I have so much left to give to other people and to experience the world and what is ahead of me in my career and with my family. There is so much left to do, so much I haven’t done and haven’t said, and I look forward to the future.”

May 18th is graduation day from Wake Forest, Erin plans to be there. She will graduate with a bachelor of arts in psychology, with honors and has already been accepted by the University of Maryland Law School, but she is deferring for a year as she undergoes treatment. The coming months will be quite a ride.

And if you so choose, Erin is asking you to go along for that ride. You can share her journey in the journal on her Caringbridge page, (http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/erinlevitas). If I might be so bold as to stand in judgement, and not that any story deserves more attention than any other, but Erin is a terrific writer, taking you into her world with the perfect mix of emotion and humor. She is simply telling her story and when you do it in this way and speak from the heart, everyone who has one will buy in.

Comments

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of Erin and how she deals. Erin has been a part of our lives from watching favorite TV shows, going on vacation with our family, to going to Hebrew School and High School with Claire.
Erin, you have always been a stubborn person and I only hope that never stops. We look forward to making more memories together at the Beach. Claire has made sure there is a bed just for you,Erin. all family members have a place to sleep just for them. As the girls say'”love you to the moon and back”. <3

I will
Think and pray about erin this week and wish her the best with the egg retrieval and port insertion. From someone who people have called strong, I can recognize that she has it in her get through this. Kick cancer’a ass Erin!!

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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