Archive for the ‘Prostitutes’ Category

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.
–40th & 9th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: columbia undergrad
Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Justine
Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was
20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Poogins

Woman, to friend: he was so excited, I thought his butt plug was going to shoot out of his ass.
–Spring Street and 6th St
Overheard by: Sarah O.
Dude in fur coat and construction boots: My mom asked me if I had a razor in my butt…
–Downtown ‘1’ Train
Husband to wife: I can’t believe you just put your finger up my butt hole!
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: bonifacia
Transvestite prostitute: I just got off my second and last date tonight… Man paid me 4 bills to stick my fingers in his booty.
–Meat-packing District
Overheard by: Erin
Guy on cell: you have to get drunk enough not to puke, but enough to take the piece of glass into your ass!
–Bleeker & Barrow
Overheard by: ivy270
Guy on cell phone passing by: normally when you say that, my asshole starts puckering!
–Union Square

Woman: Yeah, but just because you can play a dying crackwhore in Rent, that doesn’t mean that you can play a dying crackwhore in Les Mis — they’re two different kinds of whores!
–Broadhurst Theatre
Columbia chick: Yeah, I’d be the Mother Theresa of prostitutes.
–Columbia University
Couple arguing on the street: You want to talk about the truth, fine — let’s talk about the truth! What about that time I found you upstairs in our apartment smoking crack with that prostitute?
–2nd Ave & E 5th St
Overheard by: Awestruck Iowan
Girl: Well, of course I’m mad… She’s taking my pimp from me!
–Mall
Announcer: There is a ‘B’-as-in-‘brothel’ train approaching the station.
–59th St, Columbus Circle Station
Overheard by: Jennifer
Chick on cell: I think we’re all hypothetical hookers, to some extent.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McF

Teacher: If you were convicted of murder, who would you send to ride to the king to get a pardon? Student: A rider. Teacher: Can you spell that? Do you mean a ‘writer’? Student: R-I-D-E-R — someone who is good with horses. Teacher: So what is important is his sportsmanship? Student: Maybe a servant? A friend of the king? Teacher: What is one of the oldest professions? Student: A prostitute? Teacher: A lawyer!
–New York Law School

Sassy woman: No, no, no, no. What I don’t think you understand is, his parents are his mother and a pimp.
–33rd & 8th
Overheard by: Alex
Drunk girl: I don’t want to be sold for five dollars on the street!
–1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Kira
Record label coordinator: This company needs a hit like a crackwhore on payday.
–150 5th Ave
Addiction expert: I don’t think he’s addicted to porn, but I think he does, like, coke off hookers’ asses.
–6 train, 68th St
Old Jewess: I couldn’t tell if they were singers or prostitutes.
–1 train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Kimdog
Man on cell: So then the hooker walked in with a squeegee. Then I knew it had gone way too far!
–Times Square
Guy: She’s kind of the President of the Prostitute Guild.
–Hughes Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Jess McGins

Drunk girl #1: I can’t believe he offered us $20 for that. Drunk girl #2: We should have just took it. $20 is $20. We didn’t even have to do anything. We didn’t even have to look! Drunk girl #1: Yeah, true, but can you imagine if those other two came around the corner while he was doing that. Drunk girl #2: Yeah, you’re right. They would not only think we were crackheads, but prostitutes too.
–Woodlawn

Little gangster kid: Yo, the last time I went fishing I got a fishing lure stuck in my dick.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Hobo: Everybody’s somebody on my dick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Girl, to male co-worker: Can you be a little more subtle and not such a dick-swinger about your Amstel Light?
–Conde Nast Bldg, 57th & 8th
Overheard by: Kenzi
Woman: At least I don’t suck dicks for free!
–Broadway and Putnam, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tommi
Drunk college student: My redeeming factor is I will suck fucking dick to make money.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: dank
Guy on cell: Take it like a bowl of dicks.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Johnny Bonsanto
Fat guy: So I asked her, and she gave me her number, and then it was disconnected. So I went back the next week, and she wasn’t working there anymore. So I wondered, did she quit her job just to avoid sucking my dick?
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: Caroline