The Ataribox will cost under $300 and ship next spring

The Morning After: Tuesday, September 26th 2017

Birthday boy gets box of rocks instead of Nintendo DS

No, you're not being mercilessly attacked by an unyielding feeling of déjà vu for no good reason -- we really have seen something eerily similar to this happen before. This go 'round, we've got a totally innocent ten year old boy who was given Guitar Hero for DS prior to even owning a console; as the mother finally ended the tease, she handed him a shiny new DS handheld for him to unwrap. Unfortunately for everyone involved, all that was tucked inside was a couple of stones, a Chinese newspaper and boatloads of disappointment. After the Walmart store from which she purchased it referred her to the Big N, she furiously admitted the following: "They don't want to do nothing. They want me to keep the box of rocks. I'm not buying a box of rocks for $138." Thankfully, Wally World finally refunded her and threw in a $20 gift card for the trouble (after being hounded by a local news station, mind you), but the real damage -- losing all hope in humanity -- will never be undone. Ever.