Ceramic bald Lionel Richie bust wanted

I am looking for a replica of the bust made in the Lionel Richie “Hello” video.

However I’d like it to be bald as I intend to recreate that lovable afromullet with some sort of cream cheese dip at parties. Not that I have many parties, but if I had this, I might start. I’d like it to be maybe about a foot tall. It really has to look like that bust (which oddly enough doesn’t look like Lionel Richie at all) or it won’t be worth it. Hopefully it can be the same orangish-brown matte finish that is in the video but I understand making it safe for a cheesy-afro might lead to some compromises.

Please email me with a bid including a breakdown the cost of supplies and labor. I can also exchange for computer repair (mac/pc, virus/malware repair, etc) or maybe a 12″ G4 iBook,

Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.
Take care.

You have cream cheese as your hair,
You have pimentos as your teeth;
You’re a bust of Lionel Richie,
With ceramics underneath
Tell me how to make the dip
For I haven’t got a clue
And I want to tell you so much, I love you …

sj80: early/mid-’90s whiteboy rapper (note: do not confuse with Vanilla Ice) named “Snow.” Had exactly one song that I can recall, called (I think) “Informer.” If it’s what I remember, it stank. One of my exes from that time liked the guy, so I may be unduly biased against him.

(corey) Snow was a one hit wonder. This was mainly due to the fact that he was arrested (for what I don’t remember) right after his album was released. (/corey)
I recall that Mtv had to subtitle his video because no one understood what he was saying (reggae influenced white boy music, think UB40 only thuggish).
In my defense, the only reason I know any of this is because I used to work nights and VH1 was one of the only channels not blasting infomercials at 2am. I did, however, nickname my youngest dog Licky-Boom-Boom, but she deserves it. She knows not to lick my face, but all bets are off when it comes to her older siblings faces.

Cream cheese only? What about guacamole? Bean dip? How about a cheese ball-esque mixture applied and then coated in chopped nuts? Thick hummus in a high and tight pattern? Man, I’m hungry just thinking about this.

Best line of all: “Thank you to Curtis for informing me that terracotta would not be a good choice for a food-safe sculpture.” Curtis is an awesome guy for sharing that little protip, and so is the poster for letting the rest of us know.

Still loving it. A coworker brought some to a potluck, and I asked her if she made it herself. I think she misunderstood me, because she said yet. But when I asked her where she got her tahini, she gave me a blank look. Later I saw the container in which the hummus arrived. She apparently doctored it with fresh lemon and garlic. Tasty, but still not what I thought it was.

Windrose, is tahini hard to find in your area? My local grocery only stocks it in the organic section, might check there.
Lola, be happy you live in my magnificent homeland. It was not until I moved south and had a yard to tend to that I learned that hummus is also a term for organic fertalizer that is brought to us by the humble pig.

sarajean: You may laugh at our vast nothingness (which isn’t really nothingness in the sense of Nebraska nothingness, but more like endless fucking trees), but apparently some people LIKE it! 😛 Tourism is somehow our third largest industry. Did you know that we have a state soil? It’s Antigo silt loam. We also have a state fossil, for some reason.

Hmmm…West Allis = Freshly cleaned? I always thought that was a sketchy suburb. I mean, it’s not downtown or anything, but still…I don’t have any actual memories from there, but my parents left as soon as they could because of the sketchiness.

Right now I’m wayyyyyy far away, over across the river from the Twin Cities. I grew up in Madison, though, and was born in West Allis, Milwaukee (we lived a block and a half away from Jeffrey Dahmer’s grandma :D).

FUN FACT: So for those not from Wisconsin, we have a State Peace Symbol. It’s the Mourning Dove. Simple enough, right? Well, back in the 90’s, we implemented a hunting season for them, and they’re one of the most common game birds in WI now.

I’m a Dairy Science student, and even I have grown to dislike many things about this place. Or maybe it’s because I’m a Dairy Sci student that I dislike it? Who knows. I just know that I want out, to a place that’s not in the Plains or the midwest. It’s a nice enough state, but it’s not my kind of place.

It looks like Little Richard and Jay Leno had a love child.
(If that were possible. The idea intrigues, repulses, and disturbs me at the same time. So does the idea of this thing covered in any food product.)

My theory is that this ad was actually written by the existing Lionel bust, in the hopes of finding a mate to make miniature Lionel Richie busts. Then they would put legs on the mini-busts and they could carry out Not.A.Lionel’s evil plan for world domination. (The busts would look something like Mr. Chippy.)

Edit: Dang, not sure if that link will work or not, due to workplace censorship. Anyways, go to youtube and find The Day that Mr. Chippy Walked.

Uhm, how would they know which of them was which gender, since they would both presumably look male? I mean, if it doesn’t reproduce asexually, then Tab A will probably have to go into Slot B, so to speak. But … how do they know which is which?!?

Why am I not surprised that the poster doesn’t have many parties? How I long for an invitation that includes the magic phrase “eat Lionel Richie’s hair” after all the “eat my shorts” parties are so last decade!

I used to have a Chia Einstein, so obviously my first thought was “this would make a great Chia pet.” If you grew alfalfa sprouts on it, you could eat them straight off Lionel Ritchie’s head at parties.

Just imagine what the follow up would be if this idea takes off! Not just Lionel Ritchie – all of the Commodores! How about the Jackson 5? Plus Janet and La Toya! Prince and the Revolution! Between the jheri-curl fromullets on the dudes and the long hair on the girls, you could feed a party of 40 for days with Prince’s posse! Sheila E. at no extra charge! Act now and we’ll throw in the entire set of Morris Day and the Time! De Barge!

Well, if I find myself out of work, I’m getting me some ceramic and getting the party started.

I put in my vote for Cyndi Lauper but I would put cotton candy on her head instead. It would be the right colors. Plus I am lactose intolerant so the cheesy head, or head cheese, are not for me. Ewww, head cheese.

I really don’t know know what the hang up is on the nacho cheese fountain. If nature had thought of it, there would be wellsprings of nacho cheese, and hot springs of chocolate. Old Faithful would be filled with raspberry lemonade. And don’t act like you wouldn’t partake if I brought the nacho cheese fountain to the next YSaC party. Maybe I could modify it so it would rain salsa down on nacho cheese Lionel, while he sang a pre-recorded “Say you, Say me.”

See, I actually think they’re for the same party, the fountain and the head.
You put them opposite each other, and…
[head, to fountain]
Na- cho
Flowing with cheese in the night
The only thing that’s right

[fountain, to head]
My cheese-fro
Your head is iced, like a cake
Your look one can’t mistake

[together]
And I….
I want to share
All my chips
With you…
No other dip will do

And that guy…
Did he just doub-le diiiip???
Oh yes, you’ll always be
My… cheesy love.

Having actually worked in ceramics before, I can’t imagine anyone actually agreeing to do this for what the poster would be willing to pay. Creating a bust from pictures is both time-consuming and labor-intensive, and the idea that the end result would only be used to hold party dip would not be a real incentive to the artist.

It all this person wants is an interesting centerpiece for his infrequent parties, why doesn’t he just get some of the styrofoam heads used for styling wigs? It would look just as much like Lionel Richie.

this may be your old art teacher who didn’t know how to turn on the kiln, sarajean. She has finally finished her gossip mags and realized she really wants to eat cheese off of Not.A.Lionel’s head. Since she can’t do anything with the kiln herself (“why does everything I do blow up? I thought it was supposed to be bubbly!”) she is looking for some poor schmuck to do it for her. Maybe she should check with the M&M science fair lady, she might have a cermaic’s class masterpiece that was displayed at little Timothea’s school.

I wasn’t going to bother visiting today, got germs again and sick of blowing my nose. But I figured a smile would help me feel better.

So here I am and my first thought was “why would you want to eat cheese off anyone’s head no matter who?” and then I started on the comments, hoping for that smile.

Sorry, did I say smile? You lot have me crying with laughter here with all the puns and song versions. Between blowing the nose and wiping the eyes I’m getting through this box of tissues like you wouldn’t believe.

Silva, that is awesome! Not only are you talented, but omniscient as well! I think you need to have the jumper on a motorcycle, Fonzi style. Here is a picture of a motorcycle for reference;)http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3434

Not having anything witty or original to contribute, I must say that this has so far spurred the best comments of any posting I’ve seen here. The day, she is still young and tender. On this day a YSaC legend is born. We shall call him…Not. A. Lionel.

By the way, I discovered something today purely by chance. My germ fuddled brain opened Safari instead on Chrome today for some reason, and guess what? I’m not having any issues with +1’s disappearing etc.

I just opened the site in Chrome (which I normally use) and after the first refresh they’d all gone again. guess it’s some kind of compatibility issue somewhere between this site and Chrome.

Odd though as I’ve only been getting it for the last few weeks, and I’ve been using Chrome for months.

I usually use Chrome myself, much smaller footprint than the hulking memory hogs of IE or Firefox, and sports about the same security as either of them.

But the compatibility thing has cropped up a few times. Granted the flash support is much better in Chrome. In IE and Firefox flash causes a memory loop that slowly eats all your system memory and makes your page file go crazy. Safari handles it ok, but it can still be a problem for long periods of flash usage.

I think that was another reason I stuck with Chrome over Safari actually, I had a bit of trouble with flash once, in that it simply wouldn’t play and kept asking for a plug in which in then told me was installed etc.

That’s the good thing about having them both installed though, I can swap between them and neither takes up too much space on the hard drive.

How dare you sir! We computer gremlins provide a valuable service to our clients, and I resent your disparaging comments to the highest degree! You appear to be of the same ilk of those who malign the might Caveman. Shame, sir…SHAME!

I suppose it takes all kinds. I started eating humas shortly after watching “Don’t Mess with the Zohan.” Hasn’t made me into a Semitic super spy, though—maybe I’m not eating enough.

I hope dude doesn’t pony up too much. This sounds like one of those flash-in-the-pan ideas—cool for a while, then, “A party at Phil’s? Oh, christ, no. You know what’ll be sitting in the middle of the food—that thing creeps me out.”

Any of you folks old enough to remember those toys with a picture of a bald guy and some iron filings sealed in plastic? You used a little magnet to give him hair and a beard.

Now let’s update it for the 21st century!

You get a bald bust of your favorite celebrity and a can of Easy Cheese. Give Lionel Richie a mullet! Give Megan Fox a goatee and glasses! Give Keanu Reeves more than one expression! Great fun at your next party!

Speaking of YSaC singalongs, my recording of Favorite Things has been delayed due to technical difficulties (the latest Debian update broke my sound configuration). Once I get those resolved, I’ll try to record it.

I am more than a little concerned about this mysterious “Curtis” fellow. The fact that someone not only read this posting, but wrote to the poster with suggestions on how to make it better is perhaps even more bizarre than wanting said head to begin with.

I’d also like to nominate Food-Safe Sculpture for today’s band name. It just reeks of awesomeness.

Dear Craigslist poster: I regret that I do not have a Lionel Richie head for cheese dip. My mom, though, has the uriniating boy drink dispenser, that I will gladly bring to your party. (Seriously.) I look forward to an invitation to your party. I will even fill the drink dispenser will lemon-lime Gatorade.

{corey} Actually, that smile trainer is directly related to fad in Japan. Due to previous social pressures puting the focus on a serious face, many Japanese companies who have international buisness find that their employees have a hard time adapting to foriegn offices because they don’t know how to smile. It isn’t so common anymore, but during the 80s and 90s it was apparently a big ‘problem’.

Seriously, they had instituted smiling classes, scanners, and even “smiling aids” like that one in order to develop what they have determined is a lack of the ability to smile. In fact, my friend, who lives in Japan, was asked to smile during the interview as one of the criteria for being hired. On her acceptance letter they even made a point of mentioning how great they thought her smile was.{/corey}

Yeah, my mom (and my dad) and “Old World” – my dad had a fit when he took us to see “An Officer and A Gentleman,’ not knowing what the movie was about and us kids were in the early teens – so I don’t know why they have such a drink dispenser. I mean, they haven’t been to Brussels to see the real Mannekin Pis statue, so it’s not like they want a souvenir of their travels.

It came from one of them Lilian Vernon-type (not LV itself) catalogs, maybe from the United States Purchasing Exchange, if you’re so inclined to order.

While I have reservations about eating off someone’s head, I have to say kudos for skipping the usual bowl and jar route. Nothing worse than sticking your hand clear into a jar to scrape some dip off the bottom, and then wearing said dip on the back of your wrist for the rest of the party.

I’ve never watched anything about Nicole Richie or Lionel Richie, or actually read anything about them intentionally, but for a few years Nicole was so much all over the media that it was impossible not to know SOMETHING about her…

To her credit, she actually looks fairly nice these days. She’s kept herself off drugs and kept weight on since she had Harlow. I mean, not that I would know…

Yeah, I knew about the adoption detail, too. I have coworkers who visit the gossip sites and then have discussion period. I know entirely too many things about too many people of dubious fame while wishing those brain cells were holding other info.

I think the main reason this deserves the “possibly awesome” tag is because the poster is actually clear and specific. That’s a rarity around here.

However, of all the possible creative “dip holders”, why this one?? It’s ugly.
Maybe that’s just because I’m too young to get it. I’ve heard of Lionel Richie, but it doesn’t mean that much to me.

Also: I’m back! For now, at least. I’m using my husband’s computer, beccause I still can’t get mine to load anything other than the YSaC homepage. So while I’m keeping up w/ the Web Bosses’ posts, which is enough to prevent withdrawl, I’m missing out on all the comments, which is sad.

*salivates*
Only problem with a Gouda Buddha is I’d totally eat it. Like starting before I got it properly unpackaged. Especially if it were smoked and/or goat gouda (and particularly if it were smoked goat gouda – I can’t eat that without the cat completely invading my personal space and demanding some, so I’m not the only one, I guess).
And then I’d feel bad for eating someone else’s religious icon.

Well, having a gouda buddha would be a material possession, and therefore be a bar to you reaching enlightenment. thus, you would have to eat the buddha to achieve enlightenment (presuming, of course, that the serving size were no larger than one’s fist, lest one achieve enlargement before enlightenment).

Oh, and we could presume that a gouda buddha is not a Bodhavista, which might allow a person to engage in non-sacreligious injestion.

I remember that music video, were the blind lady makes the sculpture of his head, and then they mutually talk eachother. Back when MTV was actually about music videos. Always thought singing “hello, is it me you’re looking for?” to a blind lady was a bit kooky.