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August 17, 2010

TMI Tuesday

A few weeks ago I had an appointment with a dermatologist. I originally made the appointment because I found a couple of spots on my chest that I was worried about and wanted to get checked out. But in truth, the REAL reason I made the appointment is because I harbor a deep dark secret.

Adult Onset Acne.

Yep, old lady zits.

I know! It's humiliating! When I was growing up I NEVER had acne. I mean seriously never. Once in a while I would have a pimple and I thought the world was coming to an end. I always felt SO SORRY for the kids that had terrible acne in highschool. And I silentlygloated was thankful that I had perfect skin.

Until I turned 25.

Since then I've struggled with acne. I've been embarrassed about it for years. I know it's all relative b/c I have a friend that truly has terrible acne at age 31, but when you've had perfect skin your whole life it's amplified by a zillion times. And now I'm 37. I decided it was time to get this under control. So I made the appointment with Dr. Ross. For the 2 weeks before my appointment I prayed that this Dr. Ross was not going to look like George Clooney. You know, Dr Ross on ER?

I went to my appointment and was greeted by yet another a male nurse. Seriously? Does UT not have ANY FEMALE NURSES any more??? Dr Ross came in and my fears were confirmed. He was H.O.T. I was instantly mortified because I knew I was about to embarrass the crud out of myself.

First I had to show him the spots on my chest. I pulled down my shirt to the top of my bra, and there was a long hair coming out of my bra. From my head of course, but HELLO! Seriously???!!! I said a silent prayer that he wouldn't notice it. Or that he would think it was perfectly normal for a 12 inch long hair to be peaking out of a fat girl's bra.

Fortunately the spots were nothing to worry about. He said they were hereditary. Thanks a lot, Mom!

The next embarrassing moment came when I said I needed some skin tags removed. Ugh. I hate that word. Skin tags. It's so disgusting. I had a few dozen on my neck. And a gazillion couple under my arms. He put on his little glasses that should have made him look nerdy but only exaggerated his gorgeousness and got to business. A little pain and blood later we were good to go. He gave me some pills and cream for my face and I got out of there relatively unscathed.

That is until a few hours later when one of the removed skin tags under my arm was hurting and I went to look at it in the mirror at work. I got up close to look at it. And that's when I noticed it. The patch of hair that extend all the way across my arm pit (I hate that word too). I had missed it with my razor! For who knows how long! It looked like Sasquatch had taken up residence in there. I quickly checked my other arm pit , and sure enough, Sasquatch's twin brother. Can we all say HUMILIATION together?

Poor Dr McHotty was probably throwing up in his mouth the whole time he was working on me.

I'm supposed to go back in October. I wonder if I can afford laser hair removal by then?

8 comments:

I know it was an embarassing trip, but dang, its funny to read about later... if that makes it any better?

So fess up... what did he say about the adult acne? Because I'm in that boat with you too lady! My skin was decent during high school & now, when my 20 yr reunion is in a few months, my skin looks worse then these classmates teenagers!!!

I am so sorry you were embarrassed, but it must help to have such a great sense of humor! I was literally laughing out loud (WITH you, not at you, of course) and my hubby kept asking "what are you laughing at? what's so funny?". Maybe Dr Ross is extremely attracted to hairy women? I hate when doctors are hot....

Thanks Rebecca Jo. :) I'm always pleased to hear that my life's humiliations make people laugh...even if it's with relief that they don't have to experience it.

He said that for adult women it's hormonal mostly and that as we age our bodies produce more testerone (possibly the reason for the armpit hair?. So he gave me a pill that is supposed to cut back on the testosterone. And the cream is supposed to help, which also helps prevent wrinkles, so there's my silver lining.

It takes between 8 - 12 weeks to take affect and causes more pimples in the beginning, so that's been pretty fun for me.

OK - You are being way too hard on yourself here (although it's great that you've got such a great sense of humor). First of all, I have never noticed anything wrong with your skin. You do not have adult acne! I don't think that one pimple counts :) (If you've even had one).And Dr Hotty was probably nervous that he was working on such a beautiful, funny lady that he didn't even notice your hair. I have a sister in law who's a Dr and, trust me, they've seen everything. So a little armpit hair wouldn't even phase them :)

I hate going to male doctors period. Although they are generally more sympathetic, it's soooo humiliating, especially for a pap! Your post made me shudder...it should be a rule that male doctors have to be ugly old bald guys...;)