I've come to the realization that I grossly overestimated my fitness levels in my postpartum state. I naively compared them back to when I first started running. But back then I had at least a year of elliptical training and workout DVDs plus several months of bootcamp. And you know, I hadn't just grown and birthed a human. So there's that.

One of my favorite running trails

So even though I worked out for the entire length of my pregnancy, doing Pure Barre prenatal DVDs and the elliptical after I'd had enough of running, there obviously weren't any fitness improvements during pregnancy. Not that I expected them, especially since I didn't go all beastmode while I was pregnant (because why?).

But I really didn't even maintain my fitness, either, especially if we're talking about running. Considering my base of running only goes back about two years from the time I stopped during my last trimester, those few months of no running may as well have been an eternity. I'm essentially starting from scratch plus still recovering from having a baby. And apparently, what feels like a hard(ish) workout when you're pregnant is the equivalent of a non-pregnant person walking back and forth to the kitchen from the couch a few times, and maybe up the stairs if they're in the mood for a challenge.

When I'm running right now, I generally feel like I’m moving in slow motion and have to constantly force myself to slow down because my body remembers what faster feels like and it wants to go faster. The problem is, it forgot how to sustain that. So I need to retrain and rebuild, and go slower right now to get faster, running lots of easy miles to build my base back up and to strengthen my legs, joints, and muscles, and boost my running economy.

So, despite the fact that I look mostly back to normal, looks are deceiving. There are days (and weeks) that my body reminds me in no uncertain terms that I am still in recovery mode. Everything is not exactly in place and I’m not as strong as I was before. There are aches and pains where I didn't get aches and pains before.

This week was one of those weeks (probably from Saturday's race).

Even though (in my head and in my pre-baby body), that race was slower than molasses for me, in my current state, it apparently pushed me. While I wasn’t sore after the race or in the days that followed, I was tired - my legs felt like lead. Clearly, I'm not in the shape I was before, even in my pre-running days. I'll get there, though. But there are no shortcuts. It's all about the miles right now.