Matablog

I suddenly became very aware of my surroundings. My favorite white strapless dress with the lace overlay suddenly started to itch and I was overwhelmed with this feeling of insecurity. Should I have worn this dress and not the purple A line with the big bow? My hair has completely fallen from dancing and is now getting in my face. My foot is slipping out of my kitten heels every step we take. I died them bright white to match my favorite dress, which I’m now seriously reconsidering. I think my stockings are starting to fall.

I felt his hand brush against my arm as it slowly made it’s way in to my hand. I was relieved to feel it was moist, he must be nervous too. He stopped. Turned to face me. I could feel his eyes on me. I was too scared to look at him. The carpet was a dark green with a pretty flower pattern. How long can I avoid his eyes? Is the carpet really that entertaining? If I look at him will he read my thoughts? Will he know everything I’m thinking. He’ll know how I feel about him. Then everyone will know. He moved closer to me. He smelled sweet. There was a faint smell of the cologne he had put on earlier that night, mixed with the chocolate cake they served for dessert and the clean smell of fabric softener. His hand tightened around mine and I knew. It was time to face my fate. I looked up from the floor and caught his gaze. He smiled. It was that same smile that brought me away to this hallway, away from my parents, away from my friends, and away from the party. It was that smile that made me question myself, intensely wish he’d like me and daydream about this very moment. He started to lean towards me. I watched him close his eyes. I did the same. I felt his warm breath get closer and his lips gently rest upon mine. It was over in moments. It went so quickly. So perfectly. I wish I hadn’t been so scared. Why was I so scared?

I followed him back in to the banquet hall, giddy and slightly embarrassed. They all knew. They had to know. I was lost, completely in love. Thankfully, we managed to make it back in time for UB40s “Red, Red Wine.” The night was nearing to an end. Just thinking about waiting to see him again at school on Monday already seemed like an eternity.

My mom called my name and instantly I snapped out of my daze.

It was so many years ago now but I remember it like it was yesterday. My first kiss. It was the beginning of my first love. Everything was so innocent. We had no idea about consequence, about pain, about a heart broken! I just loved for the sake of loving and it was incredible.