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They Think I’m Their Friend

by mommahasapottymouth

My children don’t look at me as momma. They look at me as a friend that they can manipulate into doing what ever suits their fancy. I am pretty sure that AM sees no authority in my face, and hears the same voice Charley Brown does when his teacher talks.

It’s a cycle. At first I wasn’t momma, I was the milk truck. I delivered the food when she was hungry. I changed her ass when she was nasty. Now its much the same, except I heat the chicken nuggets and fill the cup with juice. She now orders me around, and tells me whats going to happen and when. She has a little (BIG) case of the “Momma Syndrome” ( I am positive that this is a medical diagnosis, and if it’s not, well damn it! It should be). She even thinks that she can call the shots with JR. Ha ha , silly girl. She is about to get a rude awaking. I am the momma, hear me roar!

I can see this pattern happening with my son too. He knows that all he has to do is cry and I will come running. That I can tell which cry is asking for what. He also knows that I will cater to his every need, and so far I have proven him right.

The thing is, they do not have this attitude with Daddy. They know he means business when he talks and that he is the law in my house. But how can that be? Daddy works grave yard shift at the mill and sleeps in the day. He sees them for the longest periods during the weekend. But somehow he has them convinced that he is Daddy first, friend second. How the hell did that happen???

Well, here is my theory: I spend every second of every day with them, and I am one of the most inconsistent parents you have ever had the pleasure to hear about (it has been a pleasure, right?) and often just give in to get them to stop with the hounding. I know cardinal rule number 1, stay consistent, right? Well that is difficult to say the least. And the more I am with them and not enforcing what I say, the more they look at me like a friend rather than Momma. Daddy on the other hand ALWAYS means business.

3 Comments to “They Think I’m Their Friend”

You just did one good thing to break that ugly parenting flaw of inconsistency . . . publicly announce that you want to make a change. We’ll help you with that one cause we all need some help with this one too (now don’t anyone lie about this . . . ).

Sit your kids down and let them know “it’s a new day”. Tell them you haven’t done them any favors by letting them slide but now mama is in charge. They’ll test you big time. You’ll want to cave. Don’t. Take a deep breath, turn and walk away.

My son is 16 and he’s smarter than me and wayyyyy smarter than his dad (we’re divorced) but not smarter than his step dad. He’s my rock and my sounding board. Find one. Someone who loves you and loves your kid and understands how to effectively raise kids.

Other ideas: Put up a big note to yourself that YOU’RE THE MAMA!
If you find yourself wavering call your parenting mentor or tell your kids, “I’ll get back to you on that.”
Admit your mistakes and apologize to your kids. Tell them what you’ll do better next time.
Make it fun. You’ll need all the fun you can muster . . . .

Wow!! I SO needed to hear this! Thank you! And you will hear from me on this subject from time to time.

As for the rock, daddy is one. He loves these babies more than anything. You can see it in his eyes. The problem is that he wants to give them everything, which has turned into a problem! He also needs to break his cycle.

Wow!! I SO needed to hear this! Thank you! And you will hear from me on this subject from time to time.

As for the rock, daddy is one. He loves these babies more than anything. You can see it in his eyes. The problem is that he wants to give them everything, which has turned into a problem! He also needs to break his cycle.