Saturday, 15 October 2016

3 months on

In many ways it is odd to think that it's been 3 months since we met our little man. It feels like forever and no time at all.

This last month has been very challenging, school has had a huge impact on his behaviour at home. We have seen extreme physical and emotional outbreaks as he has struggled to control his emotions and tries to control as much as he can.

We had a meeting with the head of CAHMS and he offered some great advice about how to deal with the emotional breakdowns. In essence he said to "not care so much" - obviously we still care for him and stay present when he is upset but we are trying to stay calm and not take it personally. With our LO he seems to occasionally need to have a good vent of frustration. We have also started to exercise him more after school to run off the excess energy. These changes have started to have an impact, he struggled with the change but it has made the big meltdowns much easier. We have daytime star charts and a bedtime chart. These allow him to stay focuses on good behaviour and not be reminded of bad behaviours - previously we had been "loosing privileges" now it's "good behaviour gets good stuff". We also only focus on four "rules" - follow instructions, be kind, be calm and be gentle. (We need to add in be honest as there are some issues around telling the truth!)

There have been some lovely moments, he is very funny and says some amazing things, watching him improving at swimming and cycling has been great. Seeing him sing and dance to his favourite songs is wonderful (currently mika's lollipop - take a listen and imagine it multiple times daily!). he is an oddly brilliant child and I can see the sort of boy he could grow into if we are able to help restore some of the damage done from his early life experience.