Tuesday, September 6, 2016

"I'm fine son."

I feel bad when I don't update my blog in a timely manner. I really want to be able to update daily, if not every other day if possible. Certain things are working against me, however. Firstly, my computer is so slow and it's frustrating, as I wait for pages to load. I bought the laptop I use over ten years ago, and it's showing its age. The other reason I haven't been updating is, well, I've been really depressed. The rent where I live has gone up again, and it has me worrying so much. The only way I stop worrying or having anxiety about anything is sleep. I take my Seroquel and just sleep for days, or as long as I can, so I don't have to deal with the reality of the situation. I know that isn't a solution to my problem, but I feel scared. The other day I went to the supermarket to purchase some food. Mostly frozen burritos and water. Every time I go to the store, I have so much anxiety. I start to sweat and shake. I don't make eye contact with anyone whatsoever. You could be my closet friend or a relative, but I wouldn't notice if you walked passed me because I'm so fixed on getting out, as fast as I can. The sad part is my son is getting old enough to notice my anxiety and commonly asks, "Why are you sweating da?" I don't want to lie to him, but I can't tell him the truth. I just say, "I'm fine son." For now, my son believes I'm just that, fine.

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About Me

Hello, my name is Eric and I suffer from Paranoid Schizophrenia but that shouldn't be any cause for alarm. I'm more than just an illness. I started this blog to share my story and raise awareness to people who aren't familiar with my particular mental illness. I shouldn't be feared because more than anything, I'm just a sweet and caring individual who is doing his best. I"m always looking for friends, so add me if you'd like on Instagram... God Bless!!!