Why is it whenever you come back from a holiday you feel 20lbs heavier than when you left (although to be honest that is probably pretty accurate), and like you have partaken in the Iron Man challenge once a day for the entire time you were away!

Today I’m having body insecurity. I 100% know it happens to everyone, but why does it always hit you when you least expect it!? Yesterday, I was bikini shopping for my holiday next week. After trying on 12 bikinis I decided I was too hideous, fat and ugly to be seen in public ever again, and went home with zero bikinis and a little bit of a broken heart!

But the day started off very positively. I was feeling good! I thought my hard work was paying off. That was until I put on my first bikini!

In the last 3 months, I have spent £400 on a personal trainer, have restricted my calorie intake to less than the squirrel in my garden eats, and run anywhere between 5-10 miles a week! I guess what I’m trying to say is: I TRIED! I really did try. I wanted to feel and look good on my holiday, and so I thought I had put in a good amount of effort to reach those goals.

But I STILL don’t even look close to the women you see in magazines ……. But then again do they even look like that themselves?

What do I do next? Give up and eat cake, and just be happy with the fact that I’m going on holiday? Or do I stick to my goals?

Sometimes people ask me why I haven’t had children yet. It is actually really f**king annoying!

I mostly answer with, “O I’ll have them soon” (which is usually met with a response of pure excitement); or “I just wanted to travel and experience life first” (which is usually met with a roll of the eyes); or “I wanted to wait until I’m married” (usually met with a sad sympathetic tilt of the head); or my personal favourite “I bloody hate children, they are so f**king annoying” (the best response if you want a sharp end to the conversation).

I’m sure being a mum is the greatest thing in the world, but the way I see it is why rush. Personally, I really do want to live and travel first. I want to be more financially and emotionally stable before I partake in the greatest journey of all. I guess I just want to be able to make my own choices without people judging me (isn’t that what we all want?).

Yes I’m 32 years old, and yes maybe I’m playing with fire, maybe I am leaving it too late, but for now it is what I want to do. And if it doesn’t work out, I only have myself to blame……

Story of a Secret Heart calls on the author’s own experiences to weave together a hilarious and thought-provoking romantic comedy. Based on the story of one young woman’s heart-shattering breakup, the novel’s vivid congruence to the real world may just provide therapy for those learning to cope with the tough side of love. Through her trials and tribulations, Cassi has to find her inner strength and keep a smile on her face even in front of adversity. Come and enjoy the roller-coaster ride with her.

So, I haven’t been very active on my blog this year at all, and for that I am sorry. I guess I have been feeling a bit defeated and a little overwhelmed. Life just gets so God dam busy, doesn’t it? Honestly, I don’t know where the time goes. How is it May 2017 already?

Although I have some great reviews on the book already, as most of you know getting reviews is hard. It’s exhausting. Add to that family, friends, six nieces and nephews, three cats and two jobs, and I don’t seem to be able to find the time to continue writing book two. Something has to give, and for the past few months it has unfortunately been my blog and communication with you guys (my online family).

So, I guess I need to decide what I do from here, do I continue with book two? Or do I put all my effort in to getting reviews? (because quitting my jobs, dumping my cats and not seeing my family and friends may seem like a great idea at the time but it probably wouldn’t get me far [and I would be miserable]!).

So it’s nearly summer time over here in the UK (sorry to everyone in the southern hemisphere where summer is nearly over!).

I absolutely love the summer time and sitting in the sunshine is by far my favorite thing to do.

My summer countdown……

Sunbathing with my cats! Cats LOVE sunshine and they make such cute chirpy noises when they are sunbathing, it really is so endearing.

Playing with my nieces and nephews. Children LOVE sunshine and I just love to play tag in the garden, or jump on the trampoline, when the sun is out.

Family meals in the sunshine. Families LOVE sunshine and there is nothing like a family BBQ in the sunshine.

Pool parties. O how my friends and I LOVE a good pool party! I love wearing my bikini with heels, it just feels so naughty, and I totally love dancing by the pool. It’s almost like, in that one moment, you are completely living the dream.

A day on the ocean. I absolutely ADORE boats, I honestly can’t get enough of them! I could sit on a boat all day every day and be a very happy sun bunny.