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24 Feb 2011

Aberdeen 1 - 0 Banff

This week has been quite a difficult week. I'm in a total mind block. I didn't take have the images and videos I wanted to take in Banff and the ones I did, I'm finding hard to even look at. I spent an evening with old friends which was nice but I still felt so odd. I can't even describe what happens in my head. I went to the local pub on Saturday night with another friend who had also went home for the weekend. We're really close but I barely talked to her, for a while I never noticed. I was so in my head but even when I did notice, I didn't seem to mind or even try. I felt so stuck in it. I cried a lot this week.

Yesterday I was looking after my 3 year old Nephew, Hayden, when he came down awfully sick. He complained of a sore ear that progressed rather scarily to a sore head and throat and then suddenly within half an hour he was sore all over. Luckily my sister lives near my mums so she quickly came over. We took him to the GP who advised us to get to Aberdeen kids A&E rather sharpish. My sister was in floods of tears and it was terribly heartbreaking.

Seeing such a young child sick is one of the worst things imaginable. I've never said it with a true emphasis before BUT how lucky are we in this country to have the NHS. I know I know, they can be rather plum at times but to have a free service who helps everyone is such an overlooked and undervalued thing in the UK.

Seeing Hayden so ill really put things into perspective for me. I really thought it could be meningitis, luckily tests last night have ruled all the serious things out. He's got an excessively swollen gland in his neck which is the main cause of him being ill and also what's stopping him from moving. Today he looked better, but seeing him with a drip in and lying in bed, really brought last years back to make, how much time I lost but how lucky I am.

Snaps I took of Hayden a few days a go.

I've never been one to take my life for granted, people who know me know that I really try to make the most of everything I have. Sometimes (and in particular, now) I get paranoid that people around me think I'm a bit to selfish and serious. I just really care so much about my life and right now it's all about really going for it. I'm 25 and damn happy to be right in the thick of it!

I just deleted a huge rant that sort of went into this silly angsty place that was necessary for the moment for me, now I'm over it and and I feel my mind is a little bit clearer for it. I need to filter out so much more shit and focus, focus, FOCUS.

I haven't done any meditation this week.

I haven't done much research.

I never wrote about TIPA. I took notes and found it so inspiring and interesting and also an eye opener both in a negative and positive way, but I need to remember to output.

I also haven't progressed to much with the SSW opportunity. I wrote my proposal and then didn't really believe I should be submitting it. I've come over that hurdle thankfully and will be sending it in the morning after a little check over.

Steph is also back tomorrow which is great. I'll spend the weekend with her, relaxing and working out a productive plan of action.