You Ladies will LOVE this.. Need help!!

Seriously, you will laugh at the immaturity I am about to tell you. In my heart, I know what I should do but I dont know how to go about it. So that is where I need your help.

I posted a few months ago, about my maid of honor and an issue we had about our wedding songs. She is getting married 6 months after me.. and picked the wedding song I had wanted. (she got engaged first) She says that I never told her about the song, and that I was just trying to start a fight with her. In the end, I told her to use the song (i couldnt possibly use it after all that nonsense anyways) and Steve and I would find a new one. It really is not a big deal to me, marrying the man i love is more important.

Since, then it has sort of been eating me alive that she really thought that I would purposely start a fight with her. So things have happened, where I tell her stuff (not just wedding related things) and she forgets then down the line, it comes again and she forgot we talked about it already. So I had mentioned to her how she has been forgetting things alot and asked what was going on. She apologized saying she just has alot going on and isnt herself lately. (btw this was through a text while I was at school) I replied, that I understood completely and that since she isnt herself lately and so stressed that if she thought it was a possibility she could have just forgotten that I told her about the song awhile back. (I was going to bring it up a few days before this but plans ended up getting cancelled) The only reason I brought it up was because she had already mentioned forgetting things and I didnt want to bring it up randomly another time. And the only reason I was bringing up the "song" was because her "forgetting" about me telling her, caused her to think I was out to get hurt, apparently and that hurt me, alot.

She instantly, says "are you really brigning this up again? I am not having this discussion with you". So I didnt reply. Then a fw minutes later she says, "just tell me, are you and steve going to use the song". I went on to tell her that she needed to calm down and give me 5 minutes to talk. I wasn't using the song, like I told her many times before. I wasn't trying to talk about the "song", I was only bringing up the fact that because of it, she thought I was going out of my way to hurt her. She wouldn't listen to a thing I said, wouldn't answer my question, if she thought it was a possibility she had jsut forgotten and kept turning it around on me. Which leads me to believe she did know and purposely, is using it because of that. Reminds me of a guilty consicience, like when a guy cheats and yet blames you for cheating but you never did.

All in all.. she said that she wanted no part in my wedding, and to find a new MOH. She also said that I forced Steve to propose to me (cause we joked i'd leave him if he didnt propose, cause yeah I'd leave the man I love because of that, Lol), that after I got engaged I purposely picked my wedding date before hers to "beat her" and then I tried to steal "her" song and start a fight cause I really don't want her to be my MOH. ---I can't believe she said these things!!!

I spent my night crying, after that. She emailed me the next day with more bogus stuff, no apology, nothing. I ignored her for days. I was too mad to talk to her. She kept sending emails and pictures of her daughter acting like nothing ever happened. I emailed her back and explained to her again, that I was not using the song, I was only bringing up how she hurt me because of it.. (which ended up hurting me more) It went into alot more details, but that is the short version. She apologized for a few things but nothing about what she said to hurt me.

Long story short ( i know it is already long, I'm sorry) She cahnged her wedding to May 2011 instead of 2012! Therefore, being 5 months before mine now. Everyone thinks she is changing it so she can "beat me" and use the song. I don't even know what to think, but I don't think I can get past the things she said. I am so stressed about my wedding now and our friendship and it shouldnt be like this. I feel like I can't trust her now and I am walking on eggshells. She is supposed to be my friend and Moh.

With her wedding now being so close, there is alot more added stress too. My graduation is that month but they don't have a set date for it yet and I dont know when they will. So it could be the same day. Also, now within the next 3 months, I will have to buy a maid of honor dress for hers, (which she said will be fancy) and two flower girl dresses for my girls to be in her wedding, plus since I am MOH plan her bridal shower and bacherlorette party. I also, have to plan and pay for my own wedding. And finish school, extern, find a job after extern (hopefully) and pay for daycare. Before I thought I would have more time to arrange my finances to fit in all this stuff, now I have 3 months! and I can't afford it. I have less than 9 months till my wedding and now I got to worry about hers, when she wasn't even planning on getting married till 2012 and is more than likely only changing her wedding out of anger/spite. (she told me in the middle of our fight that she was changing her wedding)

After, spending alot of time thinking about this, I can't find a reason to be her MOH or her to still be mine. So we plan on meeting tomorrow to talk about the fight and what not and I am pretty sure I am going to tell her I can't be hers and it was probably best if she wasn't mine. But how?!!

I am sooo sorry this is so long, i am so stressed over this and in total shock that this is happening. I never in a million years would have thought it would happen with her. She was my best friend. And now I want to ring her neck. I feel stupid for letting it go before and giving her the benefit of the doubt. It just ate me up and is now destroying my friendship. She is impossible to resolve any issues with and I don't know if anything I do to resolve this will have a good outcome. So I am looking for an outside prespectives advice. PLEASE!! :)

Seriously, you will laugh at the immaturity I am about to tell you. In my heart, I know what I should do but I dont know how to go about it. So that is where I need your help.

I posted a few months ago, about my maid of honor and an issue we had about our wedding songs. She is getting married 6 months after me.. and picked the wedding song I had wanted. (she got engaged first) She says that I never told her about the song, and that I was just trying to start a fight with her. In the end, I told her to use the song (i couldnt possibly use it after all that nonsense anyways) and Steve and I would find a new one. It really is not a big deal to me, marrying the man i love is more important.

Since, then it has sort of been eating me alive that she really thought that I would purposely start a fight with her. So things have happened, where I tell her stuff (not just wedding related things) and she forgets then down the line, it comes again and she forgot we talked about it already. So I had mentioned to her how she has been forgetting things alot and asked what was going on. She apologized saying she just has alot going on and isnt herself lately. (btw this was through a text while I was at school) I replied, that I understood completely and that since she isnt herself lately and so stressed that if she thought it was a possibility she could have just forgotten that I told her about the song awhile back. (I was going to bring it up a few days before this but plans ended up getting cancelled) The only reason I brought it up was because she had already mentioned forgetting things and I didnt want to bring it up randomly another time. And the only reason I was bringing up the "song" was because her "forgetting" about me telling her, caused her to think I was out to get hurt, apparently and that hurt me, alot.

She instantly, says "are you really brigning this up again? I am not having this discussion with you". So I didnt reply. Then a fw minutes later she says, "just tell me, are you and steve going to use the song". I went on to tell her that she needed to calm down and give me 5 minutes to talk. I wasn't using the song, like I told her many times before. I wasn't trying to talk about the "song", I was only bringing up the fact that because of it, she thought I was going out of my way to hurt her. She wouldn't listen to a thing I said, wouldn't answer my question, if she thought it was a possibility she had jsut forgotten and kept turning it around on me. Which leads me to believe she did know and purposely, is using it because of that. Reminds me of a guilty consicience, like when a guy cheats and yet blames you for cheating but you never did.

All in all.. she said that she wanted no part in my wedding, and to find a new MOH. She also said that I forced Steve to propose to me (cause we joked i'd leave him if he didnt propose, cause yeah I'd leave the man I love because of that, Lol), that after I got engaged I purposely picked my wedding date before hers to "beat her" and then I tried to steal "her" song and start a fight cause I really don't want her to be my MOH. ---I can't believe she said these things!!!

I spent my night crying, after that. She emailed me the next day with more bogus stuff, no apology, nothing. I ignored her for days. I was too mad to talk to her. She kept sending emails and pictures of her daughter acting like nothing ever happened. I emailed her back and explained to her again, that I was not using the song, I was only bringing up how she hurt me because of it.. (which ended up hurting me more) It went into alot more details, but that is the short version. She apologized for a few things but nothing about what she said to hurt me.

Long story short ( i know it is already long, I'm sorry) She cahnged her wedding to May 2011 instead of 2012! Therefore, being 5 months before mine now. Everyone thinks she is changing it so she can "beat me" and use the song. I don't even know what to think, but I don't think I can get past the things she said. I am so stressed about my wedding now and our friendship and it shouldnt be like this. I feel like I can't trust her now and I am walking on eggshells. She is supposed to be my friend and Moh.

With her wedding now being so close, there is alot more added stress too. My graduation is that month but they don't have a set date for it yet and I dont know when they will. So it could be the same day. Also, now within the next 3 months, I will have to buy a maid of honor dress for hers, (which she said will be fancy) and two flower girl dresses for my girls to be in her wedding, plus since I am MOH plan her bridal shower and bacherlorette party. I also, have to plan and pay for my own wedding. And finish school, extern, find a job after extern (hopefully) and pay for daycare. Before I thought I would have more time to arrange my finances to fit in all this stuff, now I have 3 months! and I can't afford it. I have less than 9 months till my wedding and now I got to worry about hers, when she wasn't even planning on getting married till 2012 and is more than likely only changing her wedding out of anger/spite. (she told me in the middle of our fight that she was changing her wedding)

After, spending alot of time thinking about this, I can't find a reason to be her MOH or her to still be mine. So we plan on meeting tomorrow to talk about the fight and what not and I am pretty sure I am going to tell her I can't be hers and it was probably best if she wasn't mine. But how?!!

I am sooo sorry this is so long, i am so stressed over this and in total shock that this is happening. I never in a million years would have thought it would happen with her. She was my best friend. And now I want to ring her neck. I feel stupid for letting it go before and giving her the benefit of the doubt. It just ate me up and is now destroying my friendship. She is impossible to resolve any issues with and I don't know if anything I do to resolve this will have a good outcome. So I am looking for an outside prespectives advice. PLEASE!! :)

Heres my two cents b/c I just wrote an entire thing out and I lost it!! UGH!

Okay... It's hard to believe now, but as someone who has already planned and had 2 weddings, the actual day doesn't mean much after the dust settles. I am not trying to take anything away from the importance of the day. Weddings are beautiful- but they are not worth losing a friend over. The details of the day will fade but you will always have the pain of losing your friend. I think you'll realize how silly it would be to lose a friend over the song. (Why can't you both use it again??)

If it were me, I would tell her that you think you should not be each others MOH. It would be better if you were not apart of the fine details of each others weddings. That way you or she can not be accused of "stealing thunder" from each others weddings. I think it's a high stress situation as it is- and two brides who are also each others MOH is just a recipe for disaster!! It's stressful enough to plan it under "normal" circumstances.

I think telling her that you think you should each be a guest at each others weddings- to enjoy each others days with out the feeling of remorse or guilt and worse yet- with out spending the day with out your best girl friend! So what if it didn't work out that she was your MOH- that does NOT mean that your friendship should end! In time- you will not care so much about the details- but you will be thankful that you two worked it out like adults and realized that being a maid of honor and also a bride was too much for each of you. If you guys can get over this and really move on and enjoy each other and be HAPPY for each other- I think your friendship can be saved. Good Luck!

Heres my two cents b/c I just wrote an entire thing out and I lost it!! UGH!

Okay... It's hard to believe now, but as someone who has already planned and had 2 weddings, the actual day doesn't mean much after the dust settles. I am not trying to take anything away from the importance of the day. Weddings are beautiful- but they are not worth losing a friend over. The details of the day will fade but you will always have the pain of losing your friend. I think you'll realize how silly it would be to lose a friend over the song. (Why can't you both use it again??)

If it were me, I would tell her that you think you should not be each others MOH. It would be better if you were not apart of the fine details of each others weddings. That way you or she can not be accused of "stealing thunder" from each others weddings. I think it's a high stress situation as it is- and two brides who are also each others MOH is just a recipe for disaster!! It's stressful enough to plan it under "normal" circumstances.

I think telling her that you think you should each be a guest at each others weddings- to enjoy each others days with out the feeling of remorse or guilt and worse yet- with out spending the day with out your best girl friend! So what if it didn't work out that she was your MOH- that does NOT mean that your friendship should end! In time- you will not care so much about the details- but you will be thankful that you two worked it out like adults and realized that being a maid of honor and also a bride was too much for each of you. If you guys can get over this and really move on and enjoy each other and be HAPPY for each other- I think your friendship can be saved. Good Luck!

Wow. What a nightmare. It's like the movie Bride Wars, only not funny. :-)

I'm between where Kristen and Cristi are. You know her better than I do, so you would know if you should just cut ties and move on, or if you should swallow your pride and work it out with her.

I assume she has some redeeming qualities as a friend since you chose her as your MOH to begin with, but this behavior is just nuts to me. I hope everything works out, and don't let all this cloud up your happy day once it gets here. :-)

Wow. What a nightmare. It's like the movie Bride Wars, only not funny. :-)

I'm between where Kristen and Cristi are. You know her better than I do, so you would know if you should just cut ties and move on, or if you should swallow your pride and work it out with her.

I assume she has some redeeming qualities as a friend since you chose her as your MOH to begin with, but this behavior is just nuts to me. I hope everything works out, and don't let all this cloud up your happy day once it gets here. :-)

I don't really have good advice for you, but I would honestly just tell her she's being a major bridezilla. Just be honest, tell her exactly what it looks like from your point of view, that she's being outrageous, and that you are stuck in a hard place with school, money, and time to be in the wedding now that the date has changed. Then tell her good luck with her wedding, that you can't be the moh, but if you can, with school... that you'll hopefully be there to attend as a normal guest. Then tell her that after this all settles, you hope that the friendship will still be there but it might not be.

hth (?) =]

I don't really have good advice for you, but I would honestly just tell her she's being a major bridezilla. Just be honest, tell her exactly what it looks like from your point of view, that she's being outrageous, and that you are stuck in a hard place with school, money, and time to be in the wedding now that the date has changed. Then tell her good luck with her wedding, that you can't be the moh, but if you can, with school... that you'll hopefully be there to attend as a normal guest. Then tell her that after this all settles, you hope that the friendship will still be there but it might not be.

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We depend upon the news and information we get from the media to be truthful and accurate in order make informed decisions and to hold our government and corporate leaders accountable. The media is essential to our democracy. The job of holding the media accountable is ours as the consumers of the information.

I think some of the other girls have good ideas about talking to her about if it would be less stressful for both of you to not be each others MOH. If you still value her as a friend and want to redeem the friendship, even though she has acted pretty crazy, I would see if its possible for you guys to do lunch or something and have a heart to heart. I tend to be a pushover so if my advice seems too easy on her, just ignore it. But I would say something to the effect of,

I am sorry this has gotten so crazy and out of hand. We are friends and that matters more to me than the details that we have been fighting over, so is there a way we can work this out. I want you to be happy and I know you want me to be happy, so what can I do to help smooth things out.

Like I said, I know I error on the side of not standing up for myself and if you feel like the way she has acted has proved you don't want her as a close friend anymore that is one thing. But if you would like things to be better (or at least civil), this might be effective. No matter what happens from there, at least you know you took the highroad!

Good luck :)

I think some of the other girls have good ideas about talking to her about if it would be less stressful for both of you to not be each others MOH. If you still value her as a friend and want to redeem the friendship, even though she has acted pretty crazy, I would see if its possible for you guys to do lunch or something and have a heart to heart. I tend to be a pushover so if my advice seems too easy on her, just ignore it. But I would say something to the effect of,

I am sorry this has gotten so crazy and out of hand. We are friends and that matters more to me than the details that we have been fighting over, so is there a way we can work this out. I want you to be happy and I know you want me to be happy, so what can I do to help smooth things out.

Like I said, I know I error on the side of not standing up for myself and if you feel like the way she has acted has proved you don't want her as a close friend anymore that is one thing. But if you would like things to be better (or at least civil), this might be effective. No matter what happens from there, at least you know you took the highroad!

I totally agree that the little details will mean nothing when the day is all done. I know that. Which is why we aren't going over board with our day and why the "song" is not a big deal to me. Whatever. I will pick a different one. No one is going to remember what song we danced to anyways. Not to mention, it's just a song! I guess that is why I am so floored by this, because I see things alot differently then she does. She is more materialistic and has to be center of attention. I am not. Since I can remember, I wanted a small simple day. I do not want drama, so this is eating me up. My anxiety is threw the roof along with my blood pressure and my eye hasnt stop twitching. Lol Losing a friendship over something so little is ridiculous. Fighting about something so little is ridiculous also. I can't understand why she is making such a big thing out of something so small.

Oh, and She says we both can't use it. "It is her song" and if anything, neither of us will use it. BUT that is not what I want. I want her to do what makes her happy on her day. I don't understand why she wouldn't want the same for me though. I don't want someone to tell me I can or can't do something on my day, and I am not going to tell someone else that, especially my best friend.

I do not want this to end our frienship by any means, but at the same token, I know her and I think this might. I don't want to even think about this anymore, it should not even be happening to begin with. I am very happy for her, and have been trying to help her with her wedding plans since day one. I think there is something else going on here, that she is not telling me but I have no idea what it is.

I am meeting her tonight to talk and I plan on telling her I can't afford to be her MOH and see how things go from there.

I totally agree that the little details will mean nothing when the day is all done. I know that. Which is why we aren't going over board with our day and why the "song" is not a big deal to me. Whatever. I will pick a different one. No one is going to remember what song we danced to anyways. Not to mention, it's just a song! I guess that is why I am so floored by this, because I see things alot differently then she does. She is more materialistic and has to be center of attention. I am not. Since I can remember, I wanted a small simple day. I do not want drama, so this is eating me up. My anxiety is threw the roof along with my blood pressure and my eye hasnt stop twitching. Lol Losing a friendship over something so little is ridiculous. Fighting about something so little is ridiculous also. I can't understand why she is making such a big thing out of something so small.

Oh, and She says we both can't use it. "It is her song" and if anything, neither of us will use it. BUT that is not what I want. I want her to do what makes her happy on her day. I don't understand why she wouldn't want the same for me though. I don't want someone to tell me I can or can't do something on my day, and I am not going to tell someone else that, especially my best friend.

I do not want this to end our frienship by any means, but at the same token, I know her and I think this might. I don't want to even think about this anymore, it should not even be happening to begin with. I am very happy for her, and have been trying to help her with her wedding plans since day one. I think there is something else going on here, that she is not telling me but I have no idea what it is.

I am meeting her tonight to talk and I plan on telling her I can't afford to be her MOH and see how things go from there.

She has done alot of things along these lines in the past but it has been a long time. WE have been very close, maybe too close sometimes. We talk EVERYDAY! and If I am too busy one day to talk to her, it is a big deal down the line. It is becoming very overwhelming to keep this friendship going. She can be a great friend though, always there when I or my girls need her. It has been a crazy year for the both of us, and I told her that we needed a night out to just talk and get our friendship back. I am so stressed at this point, It'd be easier to cut ties but at the same time I don't want to do that, but I don't want to argue or every wedding detail either. It shouldn't be like this!

She has done alot of things along these lines in the past but it has been a long time. WE have been very close, maybe too close sometimes. We talk EVERYDAY! and If I am too busy one day to talk to her, it is a big deal down the line. It is becoming very overwhelming to keep this friendship going. She can be a great friend though, always there when I or my girls need her. It has been a crazy year for the both of us, and I told her that we needed a night out to just talk and get our friendship back. I am so stressed at this point, It'd be easier to cut ties but at the same time I don't want to do that, but I don't want to argue or every wedding detail either. It shouldn't be like this!

I have told her that, actually when this song thing came up in the beginning. Thanks for the advice! :) I plan on talking to her last night and laying it all out on the table and see how she takes it. This could either break or make our friendship.

I have told her that, actually when this song thing came up in the beginning. Thanks for the advice! :) I plan on talking to her last night and laying it all out on the table and see how she takes it. This could either break or make our friendship.

I am meeting her tonight for hot chocolates at Starbucks to talk about things. So we will see how this turns out.

I am more of a pushover nowadays. This is not worth my time to fight over but at the same time it still bothers me how she is handling it. I never expected it. Years ago, I said F* you and be gone. So I am torn right now. I don't want to get every decision we make about our wedding "Okayed" by my friend to make sure that it doesn't become in issue in our friendship. I shouldn't have to. But I don't want to sit back and not say anything either. I am one to defend myself and my family, I just do it a little differently then I would have a few years ago. Not sure where I should draw this line though.

I definetly don't want this to end our friendship! I just know her and right now I do not see her understanding why I can't be her MOH.

I am meeting her tonight for hot chocolates at Starbucks to talk about things. So we will see how this turns out.

I am more of a pushover nowadays. This is not worth my time to fight over but at the same time it still bothers me how she is handling it. I never expected it. Years ago, I said F* you and be gone. So I am torn right now. I don't want to get every decision we make about our wedding "Okayed" by my friend to make sure that it doesn't become in issue in our friendship. I shouldn't have to. But I don't want to sit back and not say anything either. I am one to defend myself and my family, I just do it a little differently then I would have a few years ago. Not sure where I should draw this line though.

I definetly don't want this to end our friendship! I just know her and right now I do not see her understanding why I can't be her MOH.

I'm between Kristin and Cristi on this one. Â I'm much more of a hard@ass, so if it were me, I wouldn't put up with it, but that's just the type of person I am. Â Hopefully, you can make it work for you guys. Â Maybe not being in each other's weddings will held mend the relationship a little. Â People get a little crazy when it comes to weddings. Â I'm so glad mine was simple! I planned it in three months, had 3 bridesmaids (my mom was my MOH) and it all went smoothly...except for the rain...and it was an outside wedding lol. Â Good luck tonight!!

I'm between Kristin and Cristi on this one. Â I'm much more of a hard@ass, so if it were me, I wouldn't put up with it, but that's just the type of person I am. Â Hopefully, you can make it work for you guys. Â Maybe not being in each other's weddings will held mend the relationship a little. Â People get a little crazy when it comes to weddings. Â I'm so glad mine was simple! I planned it in three months, had 3 bridesmaids (my mom was my MOH) and it all went smoothly...except for the rain...and it was an outside wedding lol. Â Good luck tonight!!

Hey there lady! Wow I really cant believe shes acting like a child. I know it must be hard fighting with your best friend but maybe shes not as much of a "friend" that you think she is. I have dealt with versions of her my entire life. Everything has to go through them to be ok and if they didnt like it, they would make my life a living hell. I totally agree with what alot of the girls are saying. I personally would just be completely honest, I know you dont want to be aggressive but to me she sounds like one of those people where you have to let her know that your not taking her crap PERIOD! This girl I used to be friends(well I thought she was my best friend but wasnt) with when steve proposed to me, I called her the next day and was all excited and her response to me was. "Well Im not gonna jump for joy about it. I think your too young and your making the wrong decision". Right there I was like umm you can screw. If your not gona support me and my decisions than you dont need to be apart of my life. I havent talked to her since. BUT to be honest I dont want to. I felt like she was jealous because I was getting married and she wasnt. She was like that about everything I had or did. Well I hope it goes good for you tonight. Ill keep my fingers crossed that you have a stress free evening.Text me when your done let me know how you made out. Ill email you my # again. Sorry so long LoL :)

Hey there lady! Wow I really cant believe shes acting like a child. I know it must be hard fighting with your best friend but maybe shes not as much of a "friend" that you think she is. I have dealt with versions of her my entire life. Everything has to go through them to be ok and if they didnt like it, they would make my life a living hell. I totally agree with what alot of the girls are saying. I personally would just be completely honest, I know you dont want to be aggressive but to me she sounds like one of those people where you have to let her know that your not taking her crap PERIOD! This girl I used to be friends(well I thought she was my best friend but wasnt) with when steve proposed to me, I called her the next day and was all excited and her response to me was. "Well Im not gonna jump for joy about it. I think your too young and your making the wrong decision". Right there I was like umm you can screw. If your not gona support me and my decisions than you dont need to be apart of my life. I havent talked to her since. BUT to be honest I dont want to. I felt like she was jealous because I was getting married and she wasnt. She was like that about everything I had or did. Well I hope it goes good for you tonight. Ill keep my fingers crossed that you have a stress free evening.Text me when your done let me know how you made out. Ill email you my # again. Sorry so long LoL :)

I am sorry that you are going through this with your bestfriend but I do know where you are coming from. I went through it with my wedding and lost my bestfriend over it. She just wanted to take over and control every aspect of my wedding from the flowers etc.

I am sorry that you are going through this with your bestfriend but I do know where you are coming from. I went through it with my wedding and lost my bestfriend over it. She just wanted to take over and control every aspect of my wedding from the flowers etc.

At first it was sort of the big elephant in the room, we just were talking about other random things. Then I asked her if she really thought that I was purposely trying to start problems with us. I figured instead of going at it like I was attacking her and just saying no I wont be your MOH, that I would try to see her point of view and where she stood with the topic before I did that.

She said she doesn't think that. She sees now that I wasn't trying to talk about the "song" but about how she handled it pretty much. She apologized for everything she said. I also told her that I was worried that I was not going to be able to afford a dress, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and flower girls dresses, etc. My girls are going to be flower girls in Steve's brother's wedding in April, so she said that the girls could wear the same dresses to hers! She also said that If i find a cheap dress, in the color scheme that she wants that I could wear to Steve's brother's wedding then I could also wear it to hers as her MOH and if I needed help money wise with it she will help. (which i dont want her to do) Also, she said since they are basically having a backyard wedding that she doesn't really want a big bridal shower and bachelorette party, maybe jsut a few of us at her house hanging out. The only other problem would be my graduation being scheduled on her wedding day, but I guess we can figure that out when the time comes. I told her I am not fighting about stupid stuff, or anything for that matter...if something is wrong she needs to talk to me about it without arguing and accusing me of things I never said and that she needs to stop for a minute and listen to what I am trying to say to her. She agreed to try harder with that. I also told her next thing that happens (hopefully it doesnt) , I AM finding a new MOH and that will be it. We also talked about, since about 99.999% of our conversations are through text that we need to set apart some time at night where we can just sit somewhere alone and catch up and talk even for a half hour very now and then. That way, if something needs to be said, then it can be said in person and we know how the other person is meaning to say something. ...I think that is the most of it. I didn't lose a MOH or a friend and hopefully this will be our last fight ..ever! ;)

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. The night I had posted, I was still so angry and after talking to some of you, I woke up with a different prespective. :D

I talked to Bridezilla last night. Lol

At first it was sort of the big elephant in the room, we just were talking about other random things. Then I asked her if she really thought that I was purposely trying to start problems with us. I figured instead of going at it like I was attacking her and just saying no I wont be your MOH, that I would try to see her point of view and where she stood with the topic before I did that.

She said she doesn't think that. She sees now that I wasn't trying to talk about the "song" but about how she handled it pretty much. She apologized for everything she said. I also told her that I was worried that I was not going to be able to afford a dress, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and flower girls dresses, etc. My girls are going to be flower girls in Steve's brother's wedding in April, so she said that the girls could wear the same dresses to hers! She also said that If i find a cheap dress, in the color scheme that she wants that I could wear to Steve's brother's wedding then I could also wear it to hers as her MOH and if I needed help money wise with it she will help. (which i dont want her to do) Also, she said since they are basically having a backyard wedding that she doesn't really want a big bridal shower and bachelorette party, maybe jsut a few of us at her house hanging out. The only other problem would be my graduation being scheduled on her wedding day, but I guess we can figure that out when the time comes. I told her I am not fighting about stupid stuff, or anything for that matter...if something is wrong she needs to talk to me about it without arguing and accusing me of things I never said and that she needs to stop for a minute and listen to what I am trying to say to her. She agreed to try harder with that. I also told her next thing that happens (hopefully it doesnt) , I AM finding a new MOH and that will be it. We also talked about, since about 99.999% of our conversations are through text that we need to set apart some time at night where we can just sit somewhere alone and catch up and talk even for a half hour very now and then. That way, if something needs to be said, then it can be said in person and we know how the other person is meaning to say something. ...I think that is the most of it. I didn't lose a MOH or a friend and hopefully this will be our last fight ..ever! ;)

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. The night I had posted, I was still so angry and after talking to some of you, I woke up with a different prespective. :D

Im so glad you had a good meeting with your friend. Sometimes just laying it out on the table first thing will help to solve the problem. Im sure your extremely relieved you had a good outcome. I hope that there will be no more problems in the future for you two. Its so hard losing a friend, and now is the time you need her there with all the stuff going on in your life. Is she ok with the fact that your getting a new MOH??

Im so glad you had a good meeting with your friend. Sometimes just laying it out on the table first thing will help to solve the problem. Im sure your extremely relieved you had a good outcome. I hope that there will be no more problems in the future for you two. Its so hard losing a friend, and now is the time you need her there with all the stuff going on in your life. Is she ok with the fact that your getting a new MOH??

That is so good to hear! I think your choice to go in with such a humble attitude even when it wasn't your fault went a long way in setting the tone for the conversation. I am happy she came to her senses and you guys worked something else. It sounds like you handled the whole thing well and you both will benefit from it :)

That is so good to hear! I think your choice to go in with such a humble attitude even when it wasn't your fault went a long way in setting the tone for the conversation. I am happy she came to her senses and you guys worked something else. It sounds like you handled the whole thing well and you both will benefit from it :)

Thanks, I am very happy that it didn't lead to another fight. I was so nervous.. I didn't want to go. She asked if I wanted to meet her there or go together and I figured since it could possibly turn into a fight that I'd meet her there, so we didn't have an awkward drive back. :) She lives down the street from me.

Thanks, I am very happy that it didn't lead to another fight. I was so nervous.. I didn't want to go. She asked if I wanted to meet her there or go together and I figured since it could possibly turn into a fight that I'd meet her there, so we didn't have an awkward drive back. :) She lives down the street from me.

After everything, we talked about I decided to keep her as my MOH but I did warn her, that the next thing that comes up and she can't talk it over like an adult, then I will find a new MOH and our friendship is over. I am just not going to deal with this over and over, I said my peace and hopefully she knows how hurt I was and will try harder to listen first before jumping down my throat.

After everything, we talked about I decided to keep her as my MOH but I did warn her, that the next thing that comes up and she can't talk it over like an adult, then I will find a new MOH and our friendship is over. I am just not going to deal with this over and over, I said my peace and hopefully she knows how hurt I was and will try harder to listen first before jumping down my throat.

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