Pets sleeping in your bed may sabotage relationship

Q. A reader asked, "My wife and I have been married for three years, and I am having a problem with our dog, who sleeps in the bed with us. It does not seem to bother my wife, but the dog is getting in the way of my sleep and our intimacy. He sleeps in between us, and at times won't allow me to even get close to my wife. At this point I am desperate for help. What can I do"?

A. It isn't unusual for pet owners to allow their furry friend to sleep next to them in bed. However, you must be aware of the common problems that may be caused by your bedmate. Dogs are "pack" animals, and allowing them bed privileges can destroy an owner's rank as their leader, which can lead to other behavior problems. Not to mention your inability to sleep and interference with the intimacy in your relationship.

Another common problem with sharing your bed with a pet is that they can cause allergy issues. If you find yourself waking up every morning with a stuffy nose, the culprit could be your pet.

Down, boy! Some ways to tackle the pet-in-your-bed problem:

Tell your partner how you feel about the family pet sleeping in the bed. Explain how your sleep is interrupted and your concerns about the dog interfering with the intimacy between you. It is important that you both agree on who sleeps where, and this includes the family pet.

Do not allow your pet to physically sleep between the two of you. If you do, you may find your dog becoming jealous when you want to be near your partner. This type of pet behavior can cause problems with intimacy and your ability to snuggle or hold each other, which is important in a healthy relationship.

From the time you bring your pet home, never allow it on the bed. Once you share the bed with your pet, it is difficult to break the habit. Have a pet bed on the floor and instruct your pet to sleep there every night.

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