Angelina Jolie Buys Maddox “Penis” Gum — The day before Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt finalized their adoption of 4-year-old son Pax, Angelina spent the afternoon with son Maddox, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now. — After treating him to a matinée …

Nicole Richie Offered Lead Role in Chicago — Nicole Richie has been offered the lead role of Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago, Us Weekly reports exclusively in its latest issue, on newsstands now. — Richie, 26, who welcomed daughter Harlow with Joel Madden on Jan. 12, is undecided.

“Dustin Bong” Mexican Love Fest — We are really having a hard time deciding on which of the many many permutations of Drew Barrymore and Justin Long's names is the funniest. Just In Drew? BarryLong? Bustin Dong? For now, we're settling on the hybrid used in the title.

Side Dish: Tom Brady in his underwear? — Gisele Bundchen won't be the only person seeing Tom Brady in his skivvies if Calvin Klein has his way. We hear the designer has offered the Patriots quarterback seven figures to blast David Beckham and his Armani underwear campaign right off the billboards.

Harlow Is So Cute! Nicole and Joel Seem To Think So Too — We all let out a collective “awwwww” when we first saw the Nicole and Harlow People cover and now we have a look at the full inside spread. I don't want to jump the gun, but seriously, she's gotta be one of the cutest little munchkins ever …

HEATH DOCS CLEARED — Federal agents have ruled out a pair of doctors from Los Angeles and Houston as the sources of the OxyContin and Vicodin found in the bloodstream of late movie star Heath Ledger. The Drug Enforcement Agency questioned the medics and found that both...

NOT JUST A FLING — PENELOPE Cruz doesn't want to publicly show off her relationship with Javier Bardem, but he's showing her off to his family. Cruz, who was snapped with Bardem's mom after the Oscars, threw a private party for her trophy-toting beau at Villa on Sunday night.

‘Breakfast Club’ remake in the works — A modern-day remake of hit '80s film The Breakfast Club, titled Bumped, is to be made. — The comedy drama focuses on five twenty-somethings who become stranded at Chicago's O'Hare Airport when their flight is bumped.