Wednesday, September 29, 2010

After changing both the bottom and middle elements and beginning the top... I noticed that the switch wires that connect to the terminal board are all frayed and need to be replaced.

Once again I am on the phone ordering new parts and wondering if I will ever get this old beat up thing working properly.

I really do not want to fix kilns... but I feel like when I am done making this kiln run that I will be able to at least offer some sound advice.

So hopefully Friday I will have the new parts and will be able to put the electrical puzzle pieces together.

Otherwise I am going to have a studio full of unfired work and no room to make more.

That will just not do.

Onto other things.

I had a strange bout of vertigo on Monday. I woke up, dizzy and nauseous and proceeded to throw up from it all. My wonderful kids took care of their breakfast and morning school duties while relishing in the fact that they would be going late to school. I certainly could not drive them.

Daddy had to come home from work and bring them in late.

I lay in bed most of the day. It took two or three hours for the nausea to go away but eventually I began to feel a bit better.

That afternoon was our first After school Drama Club for the Kindergarteners and 1st graders. I went fabulously. The next class is for the 2nd -5th... alternating Monday afternoons. Fun fun even with my dizziness tagging along.

(It has not gone away altogether just more manageable... I think it was from swimming too many laps on Friday and then swimming again on Sunday some water/ear thing.

This week I have found that there are weird and wonderful connections everywhere.... you just have to be open to them. I love to feel connected.

"D" is "M's" best buddy, they loves to crack each other up and you can hear their contagious laughter from blocks away.

"D" has severe diabete's and not sure what else.

He plays swords with the boys

and lets them jump all over him.

"M" has long conversations with the boys.

"Can we come up "M"" the boys yell up our small hill separating the houses.

"M" has been a good friend, feeding our cats when we are away, asking if I need help if he sees the need and just generally having thoughtful conversations.

There is also "C" who used to own a successful bar and was found walking down the middle of the highway one night. She walks a lot and finds treasures on the side of the road. I helped her move into her own place last year. She did not make it there.

She returned about five months ago. She forgot to eat.

"P" is a recovering drup addict and wheelchair bound. He was doing well making lots of money in the tech field only to discover cocaine.

He is an intelligent, born again, guy who seems lonely and knocks on his housemates doors all night looking for companionship.

"J" talks with a slur. I understand some of what she says.

She told me she once owned a cabin in Wolf Laurel.

She loved living alone with her dogs. I gave her a hair cut last week. (I was not too confident in this but she really wanted it cut and no one else would help her)

She has a big space in the front of her mouth where her teeth used to be. It makes her smile better.

She always waves to me and asks how I am doing.

Another "J" can often be found at the top of the parking lot talking about something to himself, seeming amused and happy about his conversations.

"How's it going Broomhilda?" He yells to me all the time. He makes me laugh.

There is a quiet "M" who I see walking a lot. Always in a down vest, winter or summer. Once or twice a year he forgets to take his meds and can be heard reciting proclamations about Jesus and the bible for hours at a time. I feel like I am at a revival ;o).

Rocking chairs aline the porches of each house. Cigarettes are plentiful and glowing at most hours of the days and evening until "lights out" at 10.

One gentleman, can't remember his name, sits in a rocking chair all day looking at himself in a mirror. He is grumpy and other residents stay away from him. Wonder why he is so grumpy?

He came to my house last week with his social worker

(she was quiet and a bit embarrassed)

and asked how many cats I had and why he had to feed them.

I asked him please not to feed my cats because they are on special diets and that if he did not want cats coming to his window, he might not want to feed them.

(Was that too mean? I did take him to the bank once.)

I love my neighbors. They are the watch dogs of our little dead end street. They send me waves and smiles everyday and remind

always, that life is fragile and you never know when your mind

can deceive you and you are living in an alternate universe.

(By the way I have not fixed my kiln YET but have plans to do it this weekend!)

This is a written journey of motherhood but also a place for artistic release... something that is mine for me to do when I have forgotten who me is. It is a journal and a guide and a memory holder. There will be magic and mayhem, honesty and fabrication, and lots of dreaming.