Saturday, April 30, 2011

Wait.. What? Caturday? what in the blue hell is Caturday? you have coffee for me? Yes? wait.. what? did I see the royal what? Royal wedding? do I look like I F**king care about the royal wedding? now shut up and read my lips-- I...... WANT........ CAFFEINE!!

~Sometimes I look at a picture of a cat and I can't help but wonder what kitty is thinking.. but in the case of this little critter I don't think I want to know.. The look on its face says it all.~

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Originally posted on Blogstream.Com on Saturday September 19th 2009 @ 11:23 AM.

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When I grew up I can still remember seeing all of those old 78’s that my mom used to listen to, she had tons of them. Gene Krupa, Benny Goodman and Guy Lombardo and the like, but to me nobody’s sound personified an era the way Glenn Miller did. When you heard Glenn Miller playing you just knew and still know it couldn’t be anybody else.

“Alton Glenn Miller was born in Clarinda, Iowa on March 1, 1904. But it was in North Platte, Nebraska, several years later that Glenn actually got his musical start when, one day, his father brought home a mandolin. Glenn promptly traded it for an old battered horn, which he practiced every chance he got. In fact his mother worried, "It got to where Pop and I used to wonder if he'd ever amount to anything."

In 1923, Miller entered the University of Colorado, although he spent more time traveling to auditions and playing where and whenever he could. After flunking three of his five courses one semester, Glenn dropped out to concentrate on his career as a professional musician.

He toured with several orchestras and ended up in Los Angeles where he landed a spot in Ben Pollack's group, a band that included a guy named Benny Goodman. Here, Miller also got the chance to write some arrangements. Arriving in New York City, he soon sent for, and married his college sweetheart, Helen Burger in 1928, and for the next three years, earned his living as a free-lance trombonist and arranger.

Miller played and recorded with the likes of Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey (who on several of their records, featured an up-and-coming singer by the name of Bing Crosby), Gene Krupa, Eddie Condon and Coleman Hawkins. In addition, during that time, Glenn cut 18 sides for Goodman, and also workedfor radio studio conductors like Victor Young, Carl Fenton and Jacques Renard. In 1934, Miller became the musical director of the Dorsey Band, and later went on to organize The Ray Noble Orchestra, which included such players as Charlie Spivak, Peewee Erwin, Bud Freeman, Johnny Mince,George Van Eps and Delmar Kaplan, among others.

In April 1935, Glenn Miller recorded, for the first time, under his own name. Using six horns, a rhythm section and a string quartet, he recorded "Moonlight on the Ganges" and "A Blues Serenade" for Columbia. But selling only a few hundred records, he continued his position with the Noble Orchestra.

In 1937, Glenn Miller stepped out to form his own band. There were a few recordings -- one for Decca and one for Brunswick -- a couple of week-long stints in New Orleans and Dallas, and many one-nighters, but it was not to be. Though the group would play one more date several days later in Bridgeport, Connecticut, Glenn gave his men their final notice on New Year's Eve at the Valencia Ballroom in York, Pennsylvania. Broke, depressed and having no idea what he was going to do, he returned to New York City.

It is said that Miller could never remember precisely the moment he decided to emphasize his new reed section sound. But it was during this disheartening interim, that he realized the unique sound -- produced by the clarinet holding the melodic line while the tenor sax plays the same note, and supported harmonically by three other saxophones -- just might be the individual and easily recognizable style that would set his band apart from all the rest.

On October 7, 1942, Alton Glenn Miller reported for induction into the Army and was immediately assigned to the Army Specialist Corps. His appointment as a Captain came after many months of convincing the military higher-ups that he could modernize the army band and ultimately improve the morale of the men. His training complete, he was transferred into the Army Air Corps, where he ultimately organized the Glenn Miller Army Air Force Band. Miller's goal of entertaining the fighting troops took another year to be realized, but in late 1943 he and the band were shipped out to England.

There, in less than one year, the Glenn Miller Army Air Force Band engaged in over 800 performances. Of these, 500 were broadcasts heard by millions. There were more than 300 personal appearances including concerts and dances, with a gross attendance of over 600,000. But Glenn was not to participate in the final six months of these activities.

In the Fall of 1944, the band was scheduled to be sent on a six-week tour of Europe and would be stationed in Paris during that time. Miller decided to go ahead, in order to make the proper arrangements for the group's arrival. And so, on December 15th, Glenn Miller boarded a transport plane to Paris, never to be seen again.”~ source: Glenn Miller Orchestra.com~

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I couldn't believe it when I saw this on Youtube.. So do you have a spare $6400 lying around? well if you do just think, you too could be taking a dump in style in this nifty new high tech toilet. (At least I think its a toilet.) $6400? really? no shit? (No pun intended) someone would actually pay $6400 for a crapper? I think what I find even more disturbing is that the people in the video appear to have a toilet in their living room.. now who in their right mind would put a friggin toilet in their living room? and in front of of a twenty- foot long picture window with no curtains no less. it really does take all kinds.. it heats the seat, it even warms your feet and plays music.. I wonder if it wipes your heiney for you too?

This Sunday morning was supposed to be a peaceful one, not unlike many others. But instead- on this Sunday Morning I awoke in a strange flutter. The haunting feeling that something was escaping me, kept nagging at my still half asleep brain, the whole time I lye there under the covers staring at the ceiling this morning. I thought about it for several minutes and couldn't figure out what it was that I was forgetting. I got up, made toast and coffee scratching my bewildered Pumpkin the whole time, whatever it was that I was forgetting was filling my whole being with this strangely familiar sense of dread. And so I gave pause to the situation- trying to find some ominous event in my life to compare this terrible feeling to. Perhaps then I would remember whatever it was.

I tried to remember the first bully that I ever stared down, I remember that feeling well, the cold sweats, the clammy clenched fists, the feeling of uncertain anticipation of the unknown that however the confrontation would end, it would most certainly end badly for either the bully or for me. No this feeling of dread was different. No not the same feeling. I already did my taxes so it wasn’t that, not that the uncertainty of facing the taxman is any less unsettling. No I was certain, no fear could match this feeling, not meeting hostile aliens, nor the ghost of Jimmy Hoffa, not coming face to face with a grizzly bear, a mountain lion or Bigfoot himself.

So let me think back briefly, to the recent past. Perhaps there is a clue hidden somewhere? I went shopping yesterday, for food and cleaning supplies.. Nothing frightening about that, Hmmmmm.. Cleaning supplies? Well I did clean the ol tomb out from top to bottom yesterday. Yeppers.. every room of my happy little habitat is cleaned and ship shape, every room except for-- oh… God.. I forgot to clean the bathroom.. Nooooooooooo! Please god I don’t want to.. Don’t make me do it! Please.. Not that. But alas I live alone in this dungeon so if not I.. then who shall attempt such bravery? I must be strong, Time to break out the comet cleanser, the gas mask, The elbow length rubber gloves and the wet suit. Time to clean the bathroom.. Pray for me my friends.. I’m going in.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

You really don’t realize how truly tubby you’ve become until your walking down the front stairs in front of your apartment one morning, and some scrawny little jerk is standing there holding two flags giving you hand signals like you’re a circling blimp waiting for landing instructions. Although that isn’t exactly what happened to me, that’s what it felt like. And so my personal incident; which happened on Wednesday, (no we won’t discuss it ) prompted me to do a little investigating into some of my more recent life events. I really shouldn’t have been surprised I suppose; to learn that my computer is the culprit that is responsible for my recent weight gain. I always knew the little bastard spawn of Satan was out to get me but I never thought that it would stoop to the levels that it recently has.

See- here’s my logic. If I sit in front of the computer all day and do nothing but vegetate, you know, the normal computer activities, reading and writing and cruising the web, and I only get up to use the bathroom or to get snacks, sure my brain gets plenty of exercise, but the one big drawback is, my body gains weight like a Mofo. However in the past two days I find that whenever I push myself away from the computer and leave it alone to go out and get some exercise, I have lost 3- count em 3 lbs so far in the past 2 days. And in addition to my recent findings, I’ve concluded that if I eat more salads and less Twinkies and gut burgers all of the time, that helps me shed major poundage as well. So let me recap- when I sit in front of this computer all day- I gain weight.. And when I get up and go out to get some exercise, I lose weight.. See? Its all my computers fault.

If you are or you know of someone who is a victim of bullying, online or otherwise, please let them know that the ugly words that small, simple minds create aren't true. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Bullies are cowards.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I decided to make a return trip to Carls JR this morning to get another one of their fantabulous Breakfast burritos, but when I got there the doors were locked, No people inside, the lights were off, nothing was moving- not even a mouse. Which I found strange seeing as how they open at 5:30 AM. strange until I saw all of the Police cars that were hovering around there. I decided that I didn't need to go to Carl's that bad so I Peddled down to the nearest light and made it across the street to the new Mexican place that just opened up instead. their Breakfast burrito isn't as good as Carl's is, they are a little mushy to be honest, mostly beans and potatoes, very little egg, Jalapeno or ham, and the Tortilla was way too big. but its still good enough to give me a proper Gut-Gasm. still though, I'm wondering what in the dickens happened at Carl's Jr last night? robbery? B&E? or perish forbid such a thought, could there have been a homicide? No no. there wasn't any police tape put up. there were however- at least 3 Police cars there that I counted, probably even more. my money is on a B&E if anything. I'll probably get the afternoon edition of the Nevada Appeal, if its local it'll be in there. strange indeed.

If I have one fault- (OK so maybe I have more than one, so please hold your comments until after the rant) its that sometimes I just don't know when to leave well enough alone. this morning I woke up and started poking around Blogspot and I'm still not sure how I did it but I started following myself. I'm now sure how or why, I certainly don't remember doing it but yes.. I am my own stalker now- or was. I'm still not sure why I did this. There is no reason that I should be following myself around blogspot, so I reopened the window and abruptly un-followed myself.. I've never ended this sort of relationship before now so perhaps I should be consulting with Mister O to see how or if - he has ever resolved this issue. seems to me that he went through this very thing earlier. what is the proper etiquette for un-following yourself? is it like breaking up with someone? will I have to check every number when I get phone calls in the middle of the night now? will there be this long uncomfortable silence whenever I accidentally run into myself in the produce section at the super market? will I have to scan every email I get from this moment forward to make certain that I didn't send myself a nasty message or a virus? this is an awkward feeling. Egads! Oh the Paranoia.. Wait- I know! maybe I should just stay off of the computer until I've had at least two cups of coffee. Mister O was right, this blogging thing is getting really confusing. yes it is.

Monday, April 11, 2011

You know every once in awhile I like to leave the TV on with no sound as I'm writing, its just something that I like to do once in awhile. now here lately I seem to keep making the mistake of leaving it on one of those twenty four hour news channels. I know I know.. Dumb idea. here lately though theres this guys that keeps showing up on my TV screen, now the sound is turned down mind you, so I have no idear what he's saying - and maybe thats a good thing. but some people you don't have to hear them talk to realize that they're an asshole in the purest form.. ok now I know, that he's like the speaker of the spouse or sumpthin.. oh wait.. thats supposed to read Speaker of the house.. and his name isssss.. John ---- Ummmmmmm.... Boner... No wait.. Beaner.. uummmm wait..

I can never seem to get his name right. Lessee here- Is it Beaner? Or maybe Bonner? Or is it Boner? Bender? OK.. Now C'mon you guys help me out here. I know it starts with a "B" Hey! I have an idear. how about this? how about we all get together and throw him a good old fashioned southern neck stretching party? I could be the host! I have a rope and everything! anyhow I always seem to have trouble remembering this guys name so I think I'll just call him Asshole #1. I never thought that I would actually miss Nancy Pelosi. (I know, I Know Please don't hit me.)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Originally posted on Blogstream.com on Friday March 14th, 2008. @ 11:22 AM.

We’ve been stumbling around here for what seems like forever. Looking up at the stars, watching the clouds. Our whole existence spent wondering- asking questions. Never ending questions as to why we are here. Where do we really come from? Where will we end up? How much time do we have left? We have lived through the discovery of fire, we chiseled the first wheel out of stone, and made our first weapons from them. We marveled at the very first sunrise, and watched in amazement as it sat, wondering if we would ever see such a miracle again. We hunted for food, taking from the earth only what we needed for our own survival. We were nomadic, roaming the earth looking for our place, we stumbled and fell, and picked ourselves up again. Awkwardly, we took our first cautious steps towards civilization. Walked upright, became tribal, began to stake our claim to what we deemed was ours. But never was. We became intelligent, built cities, forged machines, closed ourselves off from the rest of civilization, became a bigger threat not only to our neighbors, but to ourselves as well. We became warlike, hostile, and inevitably somewhat less human.

We drilled for oil, made bigger machines, bigger cities, bred children more, and as time evolved, taught them less. We became less tolerant, and more impatient, took more and gave less. Became closed off to the outside world, and as a singular society have become closed off to each other. We do not seem to be able to grasp the simple concept of being human anymore, what it means to reach for a greater understand of why we are the way that we are; instead of destroying each other because we are simply different. We thirst for blood, are bent on revenge, and when one of us cries out in pain, we mistake it for anger and reach for our weapons instead of each other. Greed is good, love is dead, and acceptance seems forbidden, and our leaders would have us believe that peace is unattainable. We have lost our way, somehow, we have become corruptible, and inevitably corrupted by our lust for wealth. I sit under the stars now and often try to marvel at life every now and again, and I realize that in Gods grand scheme of things we are really quite small as a species, and not as indispensable as we would like to believe. I wonder what God is thinking sometimes, perhaps that the more intelligent we become as a species, the bigger danger that we become to ourselves. Perhaps if we were truly as evolved as our own arrogance would have us believe, then we would realize that the Earth does not belong to us. We belong to it.

Monday, April 4, 2011

I am human.. I know that’s probably not exactly an earth shaking revelation, but- its true. I am human, and I’m not perfect, I suspect this fact is due in no small part to Gods little plan. We are frail, subject to illness, pain and emotional stress. We tend to break down from time to time, we break bones, we take sick, we go to the doctor- and depending on the severity of the problem, they can usually find a cure for whatever ails us, and so we usually survive to fight another day. Sometimes though- people just die. Like I said, its all part of the plan. We are human, and we have- by design, a shelf life. Part of the plan. Its ok most of us have accepted this fact and have already moved past it. There are others though that simply won’t go peacefully, Not without a fight. Some people just want to live forever.

Some people dream of the day when we become one with our own creation, when we become living computers. I know it sounds ridiculous, but think about your computer for a second. To simplify it a bit- It has a mother board, for processing and distributing information, it has a hard drive to store that information. Not unlike the human brain- which pretty much does the same thing only considerably slower. Ok I know that the processes that a computer goes through to compute and distribute information is a bit more involved than that, but that’s pretty much how it works. So what happens if your hard drive fails? If it is a sudden failure you are pretty much screwed, anything that was stored on it is gone. And then there are times when the hard drive just develops bad sectors which slowly diminishes its capability to retain information, and it eventually fails.. Not unlike the human brain when it develops Alzheimers or other diseases like Parkinson’s.

They being the experts, tell us that we should always back up our computers data, all of the pictures, word documents, and all of the other information that is stored on the hard drive in case of failure, should be backed up on another external hard drive or to the cloud, the cloud meaning the internet. Just in case of a massive failure of your system. Then when you get a new computer all you have to do is re-download all of the information from where you store it on the cloud and Voila! You have all of your information right there with you. You don’t lose a memory, not a picture, not a word. So what happens when your brain fails? There is no back up, there is only one option when your brain fails, you lose everything- period. But what would happen if someone came up with a way to back up your brains information to the cloud? Just implant a computer chip in the brain stem that would send a signal to the internet and instantly back up all of your memories. just open the cranium insert new brain insert the chip and retrieve your information from the cloud. And your pretty much whole again.

What would happen if they were able to create artificial blood cells? Ones that could replace your bodies broken down white blood cells. Artificial cells that would immediately recognize a health threat to your immune system. Artificial cells that could process information, immediately recognize, attack and kill, things like cancer or the HIV virus before it ever became active in your blood stream? How long then before they would find a way to reverse the effects of aging? The scary thing to me isn’t that any of this is or isn’t possible, the scary thing is the alarming rate at which technology that we openly embrace- pushes us closer to these realities. The scary thing is- the closer we get, the more our technology allows us to do, the more likely it will become that someone will actually try to make it a reality.

The singularity, the event when man will actually merge with the machine. Some people are just far enough off of their rocker to think that this could possibly be a good thing. Futurist, and inventor Ray Kurzweil thinks that we are 30 to 40 years away. Personally? I don’t think that it really sounds all that far fetched. I think the question that we need to really ask anyone who is even thinking about considering trying this, isn’t whether or not we should use our technology to do any of this, what we should be asking is SHOULD we be trying to do this in the first place?

As I sit listening to the rain gently rapping against the window pane, I can feel myself slowly leaning forwards. As if trying to listen to something locked cleverly away inside of it as though it were a child’s riddle. I hear it again more softly than before, a voice, cold and emotionless. I strain to hear it against the soft beating rhythm of the rain once again, as I consider the questions that it asks of me.

“ Do you have faith in God? ”

In an uncomfortable child like manner, my mind begins to stumble through all of the possible answers that I might offer the question.

2. Religion. Religion or religious group: A system of religious belief, or the group of people that adhere to it.

No, stop. That would be the text book version, it seems to me that when such a question is posed on a more personal level, that a more thoughtful and personal answer should be given. But I have to consider it more closely, as it is a question that I find that I cannot take lightly, so I must think about it. You see, sometimes when I try to analyze a question such as this, I tend to take the scenic route when reaching any possible conclusions. So if I may let me push the pause button for a minute to find what it is that I’m searching for.

See the thing is, I believe in God, but I catch a little bit of flack from more than a few people, some from people who go to church, and some flack from other people who simply choose not to believe at all. They all seem to share in the same argument. “How can a man that doesn’t go to church possibly believe in God?” well one question at a time, if I may. It isn’t, well, rocket science you know?. See in the late spring and early summer there is this thing that I like to regularly do. I occasionally like to take early morning bikes rides all around the outskirts of the city, you see, the air here, is so clean, especially in the early morning. See its about a ten or fifteen mile trip or so, and I like to take my time with it. I’ll just peddle along just me, the bike, nature and God.

I like to take these special opportunities to talk to him, oh its usually a one sided conversation on a verbal level, But he does answer on occasion if you know what to listen for. Oh we talk about this crazy world that I live in, and I offer him some of my better observations of life. I can always tell, see, when he’s listening I don’t hear anything, maybe a bird or two, and when he decides to talk, a small breeze will kick up every now and again and then I know when to stop and listen to him. Well, to some people that may sound crazy, they say things like, “Well how do you know God is real, if you can’t see him?” well Pumpkin.. Who says that you can’t see him? Maybe some people just don’t know where to look.

I’m sorry I seem to have lost the original question, but I am going to continue on anyway. I’m probably going to get into some hot water with some people for this statement but , it has always been my contention that god does not live in a church, he lives and breaths and works his magic in the world you see around you. Still some doubt. Some even call it the belief in a fairy tale. To each their own I suppose. Some people only believe with their eyes, to them the world is full of nuts and bolts and human beings are little more than the direct result of a biological accident. I see God every day, In the air that we breathe, the food that we eat. I see him in other people, every time they reach out to help someone, every time hope is given to those who have none.

No you don’t have to go to church to believe in God. You just need a heart and an open mind. And yes a little Faith. I close my eyes again to reconsider the original question, and given the text book version of faith I can offer no better definition of the word in its truest form. I.. Have.. Faith. And I am secure and completely confident in the knowledge that death is not the end, That there is still some good to be found in the world, the greatest miracle in the world is life itself, there IS a God, and I am Human.. Not by accident, but by divine design. So.. What was the question again??

~Scratch~

I Got so involved reposting things on Tumblr I plumb forgot to post them here too.. thanks for reminding me Whit!