When I was very little, maybe four or five years of age I strongly believed that when I close my eyes and gaze into the dark space in front of me I can see the universe. Often I could also see many, many tiny golden specks in that dark space which resembled twinkling stars and that helped solidify my belief that I was looking at the universe. Not only I believed I could see the universe every time I close my eyes I was sure I became the universe, I could feel it, here I am just a kid with eyes wide open observing the world around me but if I close my eyes and look towards the infinite I become the universe itself, it was just so easy. It was almost like a game I played, becoming the universe whenever I felt like it.

I'm not sure how I got to think about infinity and universe at such young age but it was probably due to growing up around my architect grandpa who was really into higher math, geometry and sacred geometry and very often gave me long talks about his favorite subjects. He especially enjoyed talking about human (in)ability to understand the infinite and he loved the idea of designing a time machine (according to him, it would be in a shape of a hypercube). As a kid I had no clue what he was talking about but I liked listening to him and watching him sketch. As an art student I did study sacred geometry but sadly I was never good at math so I could probably not understand what my grandfather was talking about even today, as an adult. But I am still fond of my childhood game of closing my eyes and becoming the universe, except these days I call it meditation :)

I started regularly meditation about 12 years ago when someone told me that doing breathing exercises and meditation can make one quit smoking. Since I wanted to quit that seemed like an excellent idea so I went to a local bookstore and got some book by an old Japanese author describing various mediation techniques. They all sounded rather complicated but I can recall the author saying I should "breathe from the stomach and not use nose as a pump" so I just went with that. My meditation attempts turned out to be a very effective placebo and I manged to quit smoking no problem never to smoke anything since then.

These days I just like to sit on my couch cross legged, close my eyes, tune in and chill for as long as I can, no special techniques, no rules, just relaxation. I'm not sure I'd even call that practice a mediation but it works for me. Sometimes, not very often, but from time to time, when I'm super chilled I can see an image in my mind, an illustration or a painting (it's not my intention to imagine or "see" anything it just happens spontaneously). Usually those mental images are very complex and I wouldn't know how to paint them even if I tried but sometimes they are more simple and memorable like the line drawings (see above and look below) I've been making during last few weeks. The images of colorful, vibrating lines appeared way more complex and colorful in my mind but it was still super fun to try and draw them anyway. It was so pleasing to make them at one point it felt like I could just keep drawing colorful wavy lines for the rest of my life, infinitely... until at one moment I felt full and satiated and done with line art :) But still, it was a wonderful experience that resulted in much joy and few nice pictures.