Oh I jest. We just have to be careful which women we let in. This is not one of them Hooters bars you know.

I sure hope it's a joke, this lounge is in dire need of estrogen.

I'm happy to supply it.

Of course it is light badinage Miss Liaison. You are most welcome. And leave your estrogen at the door and my man Conley will sprinkle it liberally when the chaps get too much of a stronghold in the members lounge.

Though I will warn you now. We have one of those slightly tasteless peanut packet dispensers behind the bar - you know the ones that reveal a different part of a semi naked lovely every time someone wants a packet of honey roasted like a Playboy advent calendar.... (that may be a reference for our British members though). It's a nod to our Men Only past.

Either way, pull up a leather embossed chair and escape the anger and lunacy that is "outside".

We have one of those slightly tasteless peanut packet dispensers behind the bar - you know the ones that reveal a different part of a semi naked lovely every time someone wants a packet of honey roasted like a Playboy advent calendar.

Mother! Fancy seeing her here!

May I join? Just to add to the oestrogen levels? After all, too much testosterone and you've got yourself a Games Workshop room

We have one of those slightly tasteless peanut packet dispensers behind the bar - you know the ones that reveal a different part of a semi naked lovely every time someone wants a packet of honey roasted like a Playboy advent calendar.

Mother! Fancy seeing her here!

May I join? Just to add to the oestrogen levels? After all, too much testosterone and you've got yourself a Games Workshop room

Good point. You will get a better coat rail to hang your mackintosh on now for that observation!

Despite "Corinne's" tendency to make us look somewhat complacent and confused, I do hope there is nothing against the inclusion of Canadians in this club.

Of course there is.

And she won't be the last Canadian agent to fall at the sight of an Armenian loveknot. Nor I fear will she be the last.

And we will need some neutrality in this lounge. And who better to be neutral than the Canadians...? Always liked them. Made great Baccarat partners.

Things appear to be getting a bit heated round these shores. Instead of heralding and celebrating a new Bond film in a year that has been a Zorin Industries airship-sized circus of everything 007, some of us are piling trolling upon vitriol and sort of demeaning the reason we are all Bond fans in the first place - i.e. it is only a fluffy bunny of Martini-soaked fun.

So Zorin Industries (with help from resident hostesses May Day, Jenny Flex and the lovely Pan Ho) have started up a gentleman's club (with ladies permitted at request). It's somewhere for us to kick off our Rosa Klebb heels and indulge in a lightly shaken Babycham or three. We promise not to show anyone the stairs (unless it's to show-off our stair / slide mechanism....who wouldn't brag about owning that?!) but opinions should be curtailed at all times. Whether you liked all of this year's Bondian entertainment or whether you didn't, please come in from the rain of abuse and upset and dry your weary forum-typing fingers.

This is not a members club for ranting that you are wrong or trolling that you are right. Any opinion on this new Quantums Of The Solace is right - just don't bring them up here. It is for likeminded men (and women - if they must) to be satisfied we at least have a new Bond film and just bask in the glow that sees a 007 movie on our bus stops, cinema foyers and Coca Cola Ads. It doesn't happen often and we should embrace the centre of our affections, not demean it and bemoan it because it wasn't like the cinematic flings we loved from our youth.

To quote the great Mikey from THE GOONIES, "this is our time". So let's not waste or fritter away our online community by constant concerns over twelve second gunbarrels or the editing decisions of a professional. We are going to leave our questions and gripes at the cloakroom.

Canapes and light bites will be distributed in time and a mock Venetian string quartet promise to play Bolivian music all night.

So - if you need a haven from all the upset and groaning, then just add your name to the members list (posts) below. Someone will take your mackintosh shortly...

Welcome to THE LOUNGE OF SOLACE...

OK I was thinking about catching the earliest show to get in my second viewing and now it's on. I'm gonna have me some fun! 

Despite "Corinne's" tendency to make us look somewhat complacent and confused, I do hope there is nothing against the inclusion of Canadians in this club.

Of course there is.

And she won't be the last Canadian agent to fall at the sight of an Armenian loveknot. Nor I fear will she be the last.

And we will need some neutrality in this lounge. And who better to be neutral than the Canadians...? Always liked them. Made great Baccarat partners.

Then count my unbiased self as one pulling a chair up to the card table. Contrary to popular belief, I'm afraid, I will not be bringing maple syrup, a pet beaver, or a unique form of bacon to the party.

Frankly, I was just amused we received our first shout-out since (I believe) Thunderball.

I will not be bringing maple syrup, a pet beaver, or a unique form of bacon to the party.

Shame; that combination sounds like a bloody good party.

I could send a runner, but he'd be forced to brave the rather stereotypical 10 cm of snow Toronto is supposed to receive tonight. And despite what you may have heard about their resourcefulness, beavers are far from being socially approachable. Pretentious like you wouldn't believe. Dam them, I say.