Tuesday, June 17, 2008

We arose, her and I, glacial. Because she is smaller, her tiny heart pumped her brain full of bloody brilliance at a faster pace than my overgrown engine. Despite the extra neural-nutrition, she pronounced "Mama?" I replied "Dada." She insisted, incorrectly: "Mama?" And I corrected: "Dada."

"Mi, mi, mi, mi," she said aloud. "Give over my morning heifer hallucinogen, cad," she projected at me in my still near-defenseless state.

"Surely this morning we can forgo your usual cloudy concoction and instead partake of a genuine juice. Or some water. How about some water, kid?"

"Mi, mi, mi, mi." "Lookee, sir. Pour the moo-juice or you risk your earlobe the next time you seek a sweet embrace."

"Very well, you win." I alit from my nocturnal nest to procure her blanche bottle.

"Miiiiii......," she offered with a sigh, sinking back into her pillow and puffy pink pig.

Next stop on the Early Express: breakfast.

"Eggs, kid?"

"Are you hungry?"

"'oo?"

"Yes. Food. But why must you always seek after a more precise idea of what we do here? Rather than, when I inquire as to your stomach-state, ask if I am going to provide some food, why don't you just say "Yes, father, I am indeed hungry and will be happy to ingest whatever vittle you volunteer"?"

I don't know whether to blame you or profess my mad love for the fact that I will now walk around here for the rest of the day - ok, seriously, I mean well into next week - saying poop pouch and pee purse. This will seem odd to those I live and work with considering no one wears diapers (at least that I'm aware of), but I defy them to stop me.

OK, first, I thought I knew you and for some f'd reason that always scares me...just by your picture that floats around aside your comments. But no, never been to Taiwan, eh? And then your daughter has my name? WTF? Yes, you stole it. I don't know you, though, right?

It's good to read more dad's out there...should light a fire under my husband. Oh, and suggest he blog, too.

womaninawindow: I didn't rebuke DMD! I was really sincere that even though she only typed three letters her intention shone through with the deliberate and considered actions she took. That was affection, right there, and I appreciated it. But no, I've never been to Taiwan. And dad bloggers rock.