If I suggested to you that the possibility of eradicating dis-ease from society was a possibility, what would you think? Would you at least consider the possibility?

One of my favorite themes about how things happen in the world is that the most amazing discoveries that have ever happened all started with a thought. Think about man’s ability to fly, watching TV, talking on a telephone, listening to a radio, putting a man on the moon. How about playing music on a record player? Scratch that thought, on an 8-track player? Scratch that, on a cassette? Scratch that, on a CD? Every one of these ideas started with a thought. Bringing the thought to reality may well have been thought to be impossible at first, but with some trial and error, the possibility of fulfilling the dream made that small step from impossible to improbable. With some ingenuity and persistence, progress continued to be made until the improbable became the inevitable. And then with a final push, the inevitable actually happened. Each of the items above moved from a thought that was seemingly impossible, to improbable, to inevitable, and in fact, these have all moved to the point of being taken for granted. We don’t even think about the possibility that these things seemed impossible at some point.

In a worst case scenario, eradicating dis-ease from society is at least a thought. Some may think it’s impossible, but I think we’re past that point. Many may think it’s improbable, some may think it’s inevitable.

Where do you stand?

Here’s what I believe. I believe that it’s not only past the improbable, but into the inevitable. I also believe it’s right around the corner.

Wait, don’t leave. If everyone stopped at this point in the journey, we’d still be listening to 8-tracks.

What is dis-ease? I like to think of dis-ease as one of the DIS’s in life. It’s in the same category as DIS-comfort, DIS-satisfaction, DIS-connected, DIS-empowered, DIS-appointment. DIS by definition implies a lack, and DIS-ease is a lack of ease. Dr. Gabor Mate describes it as “dis-ease is dis-harmony, literally an expression of internal disharmony.”

So where are we today? It seems like most people either have dis-ease, or know someone with dis-ease. Massive amounts of money have been spent trying to find the cures for dis-eases and yet it seems like it is more and more rampant than ever before. So with all of this dis-ease being rampant in society, it may seem at least daunting if not impossible to believe that eradicating dis-ease from our society is right around the corner.

“In order to change an existing paradigm you do not struggle to try and change the existing and problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete.” R. Buckminster Fuller

So are we looking at things the right way? Or do we have to change the way we’re looking at things. Is there a new model?

I think there is. And I think it already exists. I think it’s staring us in the face and is so incredibly obvious, but we’re just not seeing it. Actually some are seeing it. I think there are thousands if not millions of people that know what this new model is. You have friends that know what the model is. You might even know what it is yourself. Are you ready? Here it is:

DON’T GET SICK.

And if you happen to get sick, DEAL WITH THE ROOT CAUSES OF WHAT’S MAKING YOU SICK.

***

Ok, the sarcastic thought “Thanks Einstein” may be crossing your mind right now, but think about it. How does this quote resonate?

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, said: “Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

I believe that we know many of the things that are making us sick. And I also believe that our bodies try to tell us something when we start to get out of whack – but are we listening? What’s the classic response we make when our bodies start to tell us something? Think of your basic headache. We get a headache, we run for a pill. Great, headache gone. Let me start running a hundred miles an hour again. Whoa! Slow down cowboy! What’s causing the headache? Might it be that you’re running a hundred miles an hour and your body is trying to tell you to slow down.

But we ignore the sign. We have a quick fix solution in a bottle and we don’t need to pay attention to that silly headache. We’re too busy, too many things to do, thanks to the science community for finding something that helps us mask our symptoms.

This goes on for a while. There are strange aches and pains, a little bit of dis-comfort, but we work our way through it, ignoring the signs and plowing forward. And then it happens. You wake up one morning and you can’t ignore the signs any more. You go to the doctor and you get the results. DIS-EASE. Wow, it happened overnight. Really? No, seriously? You think it happened overnight? The signs have been there for a long time but they were ignored.

Let’s go back to the bold idea of eliminating dis-ease from society and asking the question “What if?” What if whenever our body gave us a sign, we acknowledged the sign and took action to figure out what it was? What if when our body gives us a sign we actually take the time to understand the options available to us to deal with the real problem right then and there, instead of looking for a solution that masks the real issue? What if we actually slow down when our bodies tell us to? What if we took the time to understand what is happening in our life that might be making us feel dis-comfort? What if we dealt with the root causes of those physical symptoms? Maybe it’s a job that is sucking the life right out of you. Maybe you have a bad relationship with a friend or a lover. Maybe you’re constantly suppress your feelings, holding back on speaking your mind because you’re afraid you’ll sound silly, or people won’t understand you, or you might say something controversial. What if things like this were the root cause of your physical condition?

But we don’t have time for that because we’re too busy, or there’s no way out. We need that job, we’ll never find another one. We have to make that relationship work. There are too many things to do. The boss won’t understand because he needs that report by tomorrow. Really? Here’s a question. If you call the boss to say you won’t be coming in because you’ve had a heart attack or you’re being treated for dis-ease, how will he get that report? We all have responsibilities in our life, things that we have to do. The point isn’t that we should ignore our responsibilities. The point is that we shouldn’t ignore the signs. We ignore the little signs, then we ignore the wee bit bigger signs. And then we finally get a sign that we can’t ignore any more.

What if we didn’t ignore the signs? What if we took responsibility for our own well-being? What if we committed to taking action whenever we got a sign? My honest belief is that if every single person did this, we would see a drastic drop in dis-ease outbreak, almost overnight.

I have a lot more beliefs in line with this. I believe that if we live life to the fullest, with no regrets, we keep our bodies in an environment that they are able to heal themselves from whatever they are exposed to. I believe that a number of dis-eases stem from a root cause of seeing ourselves as “not good enough” or “not worthy”, this is often a recurring theme in people diagnosed with autoimmune dis-ease. Guess what, you are good enough and you are worthy. I believe that people can be healed from dis-ease. There are so many documented cases of spontaneous remissions that I have to believe this. I wish I knew why some heal from dis-ease and some don’t, but I don’t know why. I understand that some are born with dis-ease and a number of these points may not apply to them, I wish I had an answer to that. But I don’t.

None of this is news. Many people have the same or similar beliefs. There are hundreds or thousands of authors, speakers, bloggers, etc. encouraging you to take control of your life, suggesting that if you do you will live a much happier and healthier life. You may be one of the ones that have these beliefs. You may be living your best life every day. You may even have started an alternative health care practice, or a coaching practice. On the other hand, you may be one of the ones that think this is a bunch of woo-woo hooey (odds are it you’re thinking that, you haven’t read this far).

There was a 1980’s song performed by Icicle Works called “Birds Fly (Whisper to a Scream)”. I like how the metaphor works here. If we pay attention to the whispers that our bodies are giving us, can we do something about them before our body starts to scream? Can we prevent the onset of dis-ease by simply being in harmony with the signs our bodies are giving us?

The metaphor works in another way too. If so many people understand this message, have taken action and have had success preventing, or healing, or co-existing with dis-ease, then why isn’t the message clear to all? Is it because as a society, we are only whispering that we know the answer? Is it not quite mainstream so we are only whispering it to some of our friends? Well I think it’s time to turn our whispers into a scream. This is the type of idea that needs to be screamed at the top of our lungs from every mountaintop.

This may be where some limiting beliefs start to creep in. Several times of late I’ve heard people say that they don’t like how things are going on in society, in their community, or in the world, and that they want “to make a difference.” You may believe all of this but you start to think you’re too small to make a difference. Or maybe you’re afraid that your message might be controversial. You may hope that others are getting this message and you may tell two of your friends about how you believe this type of message to be true. And that’s great. But guess what, if everyone thought they were too small to make a difference nothing would ever get done.

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

My belief is that any radical change that has ever been accomplished started with a thought that was shared and it grew into something. Once the conversation starts and enough people believe in it, anything can happen.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead

This conversation has started. And it’s building a lot of momentum. It may seem like it’s just a whisper in your circles of influence, but there are many other circles of influence all over the world, and it’s gaining momentum there too. Nobody wants to have dis-ease and Everybody wishes they didn’t have to deal with the consequences of it. Of course you could keep whispering because somebody else will probably scream it from the mountaintops. Are you one of these four characters?

An important job had to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Can you imagine a world where dis-ease didn’t exist, or happened so rarely that it hardly warranted discussion?

If I suggested to you that the possibility of eradicating dis-ease from society was a possibility, what would you think?

If I were to suggest to you that you’re part of the solution, would you still be with me?

What do you believe? Will you turn your whisper to a scream?

And for those of you that think you just might be able to make a BIG difference, this one is for you:

“Who are you without your disease? What makes you more than just your disease? How have you adapted these aspects of your life so they’re not completely overcome by your illnesses?”

I came across this question yesterday on the SomebodyHealMe.com web site, for the “Patients For A Moment” carnival. I just knew I had to respond, so here goes.

I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) in 2008. I have had times where I could hardly walk, and with the help of the medical systems, there are times when I live a fairly normal life. For quite some time prior to last year I really wouldn’t have known how to answer the question “who are you without your disease?” When you’re shuffling down the street, virtually everyone you know asks if you’re okay and “what’s going on?” You answer “I have RA” and you very much get into “a man with a disease” mode.

Last year my father told me a story about a woman with MS who would tell anyone that asked her a similar question “I have MS.” One day, someone looked her in the eye and said “you don’t have MS, MS has you.” Alarm bells went off in my head. This was a message for me too. I was traveling through life with my dis-ease as my driver, RA was defining my life. Did it really have to be that way? I didn’t think so. P.S. That woman with MS is now training for a marathon.

Who am I without my disease?

Today, that question is very easy for me to answer. I am a man that has experienced dis-ease and am now doing my part to eliminate dis-ease from our society.

A lofty goal you might suggest? Hear me out. If not me, then who? If not now, then when? There are a lot of people that have this same goal, whether they’ve consciously thought about it or not.

Since being diagnosed, I have read a lot and experienced many different Eastern and Western treatment options. My belief system suggests that our human body is meant to heal and if we give it the environment to heal, it has an amazing ability to heal itself. When we cut our finger or break a bone, the body jumps into healing mode and we’re good as new in a short time.

In a swimming pool that is balanced, algae won’t grow. It is well documented scientifically that in a human body that is balanced, dis-ease won’t manifest itself either. But when stresses and other factors start to affect our bodies, we begin to take the system out of balance and we create an environment that gets out of balance for healing.

There are so many things that we can do to help eliminate stressors from our body, including the obvious two of diet and exercise. But I happen to believe the most important thing we can do is to simply LIVE OUR LIFE, truly live it. I live my life under 5 principles, each of which has been a title for a blog post:

I blog regularly suggesting that many people are living their lives trying to please other people rather than pleasing themselves, or living their life full of regrets (http://wp.me/p23Gvm-2b). I believe that if people are taking steps toward fulfilling their dreams, however small or large the dream may be, that they start to bring their swimming pool back into balance, bringing their body into a state where dis-ease cannot manifest itself.

I believe that our only limitations to achieving our dreams are the self-limiting beliefs we impose upon ourselves.

I believe that our body gives us signs when it is in stress and that if we listen to and deal with the signs when they first appear, we can bring our bodies back into balance, before dis-ease manifests.

I believe that if everyone chose to live their best life now (thanks to my friend Priya for that phrase), we could eliminate the onset of new dis-ease.

I believe in miracles, having read and heard of many stories where people have received their diagnosis and said “that’s not going to work for me”, then their symptoms have disappeared at some point in the future. I know this isn’t always the case, but I believe in miracles just the same.

I believe that if one person hears my story and makes the change to bring their life into balance for them, then I’ll have made a difference, moving society one step closer to the elimination of dis-ease.

I sometimes find myself thinking of my onset of dis-ease as a blessing. That may sound crazy, but it served as a massive wake-up call for me. And if it hadn’t happened, I probably never would have taken the time to understand my own self-sabotaging and limiting beliefs.

I have a lot of beliefs and a lot of dreams. And I’m taking steps to achieve them every day.

Who am I without my dis-ease? I almost forgot I had it.

If you want to help build a community of those who wish to eliminate dis-ease, share this story with friends. If you’d like to make sure you don’t miss a blog, sign up for our newsletter.

Training wheels are a good thing, a very good thing. They let us try something that would be otherwise difficult, bordering on impossible if we’re not ready. Watching a 3 or 4 year old ride their training wheel enabled bicycle down the street with a great big smile across their face is beautiful to see. The child can’t even imagine the concept of riding their bike any other way. Thank you to the inventor of the training wheel.

Then the day comes when it’s time the training wheels off. Can you picture the day (or maybe days) you took them off for you, or a child or grandchild? There were probably a few spills along the way. I remember one day when my son was out with Gramps, practicing riding without training wheels. After a few failed attempts, the bike was seen hurdling across the curb onto the neighbour’s lawn and shortly thereafter Gramps was seen walking home, leaving this training exercise for another day. Okay, so he didn’t get success on the first try, many of us didn’t. And then one day it happened. What was at once seemingly impossible, moved the short step to improbable, and finally it became inevitable. He was riding his bike on his own with no training wheels.

Every time you ride a bike or see your child ride a bike, bring back that image. This was the start of something, something to add to your lifelong list of accomplishments. You don’t even think about it any more but it was one of the first things on your lifetime list of accomplishments.

I think there are parallels in our every day lives. We all have dreams. Some dream of the perfect job, perfect relationships. We have simple dreams of picking up a hobby that we’ve always wanted to do, or taking that dream trip that we always wanted to take. Some dream of scoring the Stanley Cup winning goal, or winning the Masters golf tournament. Others dream of having their art on display all over the world. Others dream of being teachers or speakers. We all have dreams. What are yours?

Here’s a thought. Maybe there are different types of training wheels other than the ones you’ve pictured. If you really want to do something but just can’t seem to get started, reach for the training wheels. You might take a course or hire a coach. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, remember that training wheels are a good thing and they can help you start something that might otherwise seem impossible or improbable. That first step you take just might be the launch pad to another great lifetime accomplishment. Lance Armstrong didn’t win the Tour de France the day after he took his training wheels off, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he started with them.

I bet there’s something else that you’re doing with training wheels on, but maybe it’s time to take them off. You’re doing the same thing every day, afraid to take them off. It’s that repetitive routine that we get ourselves into, waking up day after day and doing the same old thing. Maybe it’s not fear, maybe you’re just comfortable with the status quo. Glad we didn’t do that in our younger days when the training wheels were still on. The visual of me riding a bicycle with training wheels on it isn’t very pretty. Status quo on that one just doesn’t have a good ring to it.

I have always wanted to be on stage and I have dreams and visions of being in front of thousands of people telling stories. I’ve had lots of life lessons along my journey, and sharing stories with people just might inspire someone else to make a change in their life that they’d really like to make. I’ve been in and out of the health care system and have learned a lot about what it takes to make change and live life with no regrets. Maybe someone will hear my stories and be inspired to take action to find solutions to the current state of health care systems in our world. Maybe someone is just that close to making a real difference, and an inspiring story ignites the spark that is ready to burst into a roaring bonfire. Now that is a visual that makes me feel good.

But maybe I’ve been riding with my training wheels on … until lately. I took them off recently. I’ve been successful with a few short trips, I’ve had a few wobbles along the way, and I’m still going. Yup, the training wheels are off. Look out stage, here I come. Maybe I’ll be talking about the day I took off the training wheels. Will you be there?

Start with yours if you need to but don’t be afraid to take them off when it’s time. But don’t do it because you were inspired by this story. Do it because you know you can. Try something without training wheels, you just might find you don’t need them any more.

Do you ever ask for help? Or have you been conditioned to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness? Do you find yourself thinking “I can do it myself” a lot?

Guilty! I catch myself doing that all the time. And in the next breath I find myself telling other people that we’re all in this together and we can accomplish so much more by working together. Wtf? If I tell others that it’s okay to ask for help, then why don’t I ask for help? And if you’re not the type to ask for help, might I suggest that you do so now. Will you?

I have a recurring thought going on in my head right now. It seems like there is way too much dis-ease and suffering going on in our communities and in the world. And with that is coming a very great strain on the health care systems around the world. The systems are broken and unsustainable at current rates. News flash! I think we can fix it. … What? Seriously?

I really do. I actually think the solution is right in front of our eyes. But I need help. This is my call for help, an unapologetic reach out to whoever cares to listen. We often hear the phrase that “it takes a community to raise a child”, well I want to be part of a community. I want to be part of a vibrant, healthy community. Like each member in a community, I will have lots to contribute, and I will receive lots of support from others. We will all be connected in that community, all committed to helping each other in the interests of the greater good for all. We’ll all ask for help when we need it, and give help to others when they need it.

In 2008, life was grand for me. Great family, great friends, money in the bank. Couldn’t get much better. Then I woke up one morning and couldn’t walk to the bathroom. I had a dis-ease. There was no longer a “life of ease” (that’s why I always write the word dis-ease with a hyphen). I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I didn’t realize it at the time but this was a huge wake-up call for me. And believe it or not, I often tell people that this was a blessing in disguise. But I’d like to help people “wake up” themselves before they’re given a wake up call.

Since then, I’ve been on an amazing journey. I’ve been in and out of the health care system. I’ve learned some of the trade-offs that are made when each person has to make decisions on their own quality of life. Since I have been diagnosed, I have been inspired by so many people. Dr. Lissa Rankin (owningpink.com), Tom Shadyac (I loved the film “I Am” and mention it regularly), Louise Hay, I could go on and on. These people are making a difference. They are also creating vibrant, healthy communities. I’ve already joined their communities.

Can you see yourself as part of a vibrant, healthy community? Would you like to wake up before you get a wake up call?

One of my fundamental beliefs is that our bodies are capable of healing themselves. When the body starts to become stressed, it gives us messages through aches and pains, twitches, etc. If we listen and respond in kind, the symptoms go away. If we ignore the signs, they worsen and develop further, and if we ignore them long enough, some form of dis-ease will set in. But there are hundreds of stories of spontaneous healing, “miracles” if you will. Our bodies (the mind – body – spirit connection) are truly amazing works of nature. When we set them up in an environment of healing, there is a high success rate of healing.

I also believe that a lot of our problem lies in our subconscious thinking. We have been conditioned to believe that we’re not good enough, we judge ourselves harshly, we have a habit of fearing change, we must live in competition with each other and not in co-operation, we always need more, we live our lives as we think others want to see us as opposed to how we want to live it. And in the end, many people pass over with a series of regrets, wishing they had taken time to smell the roses and attempted something that they just never got around to. A very good friend of mine has started a program based on living life as if you only had 365 days to live. “Live your best life now”. I believe that as we take steps to kick our fears and worries to the curb, we have the opportunity to live our best lives. Once these fears and worries are gone, we have to be less stressed and a lot happier and I actually believe that our bodies will respond (there’s science behind this :-), it’s true).

I have been writing blogs for the past several months, encouraging people to look inside themselves and realize that they are actually quite beautiful. I encourage them to shine a light on their fears, and illuminate their own magnificence. My motto is “Enlighten . Empower . Change”.

[Change] – STEP into your greatness, be all that you can be, live your best life

I believe that the solution to the health care crisis is to have people stop getting sick. And when we do feel unwell, set up the body with an environment for healing. That’s the vibrant, healthy community I want to be part of. We are all connected, we are all in this together. Would you like to be part of that community?

I may have had health issues, abandonment issues, self-worth issues of my own, but I’ve joined a community and I no longer fear taking the next step. I also know that if only one person reads this and it makes a difference for them, then I’ll have made a difference.

Are you #MakingADifference?

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
― Margaret Mead

Get involved. Get out of your own way. STEP into your own greatness. Live your best life now. Join a community and make a difference. Make your voice heard. Here’s the link to join ours, join now.

If you want to make a difference, please share by e-mail, twitter or FaceBook.

Do you ever ask yourself that question? What do you get for an answer?

Will you be good enough once you lose 10 pounds? Would you be good enough if you were a little prettier or a little more handsome? Would you be good enough if you were a little smarter? Or if you were a little richer? Or are you good enough now?

It seems to me that many people walk around thinking and worrying about what they aren’t and don’t take the time to appreciate themselves for what they are. Are we conditioned to believe that we’re “not quite perfect” and that we need to make ourselves better? Do we judge ourselves harshly?

If someone in your life talked to you the way you talked to yourself, you would have left them long ago. – Dr. Carla Gordan

What if we started from a belief system that said “I love myself for exactly who I am. I’m perfect exactly the way I am. THIS IS ME. My life has been providing me with the lessons I need, and I will continue to learn from them. I have strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. There are some things I don’t do as well as others, and there are things that I do better than most. And at the end of the day, who cares anyway? I simply love myself and am grateful for being exactly who I am today.” If we started each day with that thought process, do you think a lot of our problems would go away?

What do you think?

…

This is not to say that we don’t have a lot of growing and evolving to do. I believe that each and every one of us has a unique gift, something that makes a real difference, something that we are so passionate about that we would do it even if we weren’t paid for it. And I think we need to take action every single day to help us STEP into our own greatness, to be all that we can be. I just think the process of growth would be a lot easier if we cut ourselves some slack. If we start from a position of accepting ourselves and not judging ourselves, then we’ll be in a much better frame of mind to continue on this journey of life that we’re on.

Have you ever taken the time to reflect on the accomplishments that you’ve had in your life?

I actually sat down last week and prepared a list. I remembered that I had many school accomplishments, sports accomplishments, business accomplishments, service accomplishments. If you go through the exercise (will you :-)?), you’ll probably find the list to be a lot longer than you thought it would be. I found it very uplifting to go through the exercise. If I was good enough back then to have those accomplishments, then why aren’t I good enough now to have more accomplishments. I may not know what they’re going to be yet, but there simply must be more to come. Maybe I should take a STEP forward toward something else I’m passionate about, and there just might be some more accomplishments to add to my list long the way.

I’d like to share a personal empowerment story. I am passionate about empowering people to STEP into their greatness. I see so many people that are loaded with magnificence, yet many of them are afraid of taking that first step. Or they take the first, then shrink back into their old habits. I started a blog just over 3 months ago to begin sharing my thoughts and questions, encouraging people to take that first STEP. I had no idea if anyone would read my blog, I had thoughts that I’d send it out to friends and they’d politely read one or two stories. I even went through the “I’m probably not good enough to have anyone care to read this” routine. And this week, my blog was read in the 50th and 51st countries of the world (thank you to readers in Namibia and Cameroon – and for those wondering how many countries there are, Wikipedia says there are 196). I added that to my accomplishment list, and I did it proudly. And as I did I reminded myself that this wasn’t my ego getting the better of me, this was simply celebrating an accomplishment. If someone had told me 3 months ago that my blog would be read in over 50 countries of the world, I’m sure I would have laughed out loud. But it happened.

When will you be good enough?

Guess what, you already are. STEP into your greatness.

If you’d like to share an interesting good enough story, send it along to ken@kenjaques.com.

In my last blog I asked if you had ever met your Inner Child, the playful part of you that doesn’t have a care in the world and believes all of your dreams can come true. Many of us have forgotten that our Inner Child even exists. In that blog, I suggested that I think our Inner Child is always there, but it just so happens that he has met some other playmates over the years and some of them are a little less playful. They constantly remind him about “reality” and suggest that things are just fine the way they are.

Have you met your Inner Fiend?

I have heard people talk about their Inner Critic but that seems a bit harsh to describe this character. I think our Inner Fiend is actually quite playful as well, but just happens to be very resistant to change. He likes things exactly the way they are because that doesn’t take any work. He can get up day after day and do the same things over and over, there is no fear of failure because he has become very good at the things he does repetitively.

I remember a number of years back when I was playing a baseball game in our Provincial playoffs. Our team got off to a terrible start, trailing by about 10 runs after only a couple innings. But we were a pretty persistent team, we just kept clawing our way back into the game, and by the last inning we were down by only one run. Our first player got a hit and then it was my turn to step to the plate. As I was walking to the batter’s box, my Inner Fiend started getting very chatty with me. He went out of his way to remind me that there were a lot of good hitters on our team but that I wasn’t really one of them. He suggested that I just do my best to not screw up. The first pitch came in and I took a feeble swing at it and fouled it off. “Strike 1”. I looked over at the batter in the on deck circle and he gave that look that indicated that he knew I could do better than that, then he practically screamed at me “Just hit it!” The next pitch came in and I did just that. I just hit it. And it sailed over the centre-field fence for a home run to win the game for our team. As I rounded the bases, I had this massive ear-to-ear grin on my face that stayed there as I touched all four bases. And as I landed on home plate one of my teammates looked over and called me “Cloud 9”. What a feeling! What an accomplishment for someone that was told over and over by his Inner Fiend that he wasn’t a very good hitter. And in that moment, I don’t recall hearing any commentary from my Inner Fiend, but I’m pretty sure he was cheering just as loud as my Inner Child.

When I compare our Inner Child and our Inner Fiend, it seems fair to say that our Inner Fiend is a little more talkative. For some reason he seems to feel lonely and is always trying to stand out and be the centre of attention. He is very comfortable with the status quo and is quite resistant to change. And the more I think of it, I have a number of friends that are quite comfortable with the status quo and are resistant to change as well. The truth is that many of us are probably somewhat resistant to change because we don’t really know what the result of the change will bring.

As a result of this resistance to change, our Inner Fiend encourages us to “play small”. And because he’s so much more talkative and boisterous, he drowns out our Inner Child that is reminding us that it’s okay to live life to the fullest and to fulfill any dream that we can imagine. He drowns out our Inner Child that is trying to remind us that every time we’ve fallen we have gotten right back up, and that whenever we have gone through any kind of change the outcome really wasn’t something that we couldn’t manage, and we were probably better off having gone through the change.

Can you imagine the conversation between the Inner Child and the Inner Fiend within an early butterfly? The Inner Fiend is chattering and taunting that it is very happy being a great cocoon and it’s probably the best cocoon in the field. The Inner Child which hardly gets a chance to speak just keeps having the dream of being a beautiful butterfly. When the transformation takes place, I’m pretty sure the Inner Fiend is also enjoying the ride.

So I don’t like to think of that character inside of us as a critic, I just think he’s a bit mischievous. And Fiendish. And I also think that we can have a conversation with our Inner Fiend.

Have you ever had a conversation with your Inner Fiend?

I think that the best way to have a conversation with your Inner Fiend is to be prepared to remind him of the accomplishments in your life. Actually take the time to write out a list of your accomplishments. First off, I think you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve already accomplished. But even more importantly, you’ll remind yourself that you do have the ability to accomplish whatever you put your mind to. The self-confidence that comes with remembering these successes is very uplifting as well. And every time you write down an accomplishment, the Inner Fiend has to acknowledge it as well. And every time you review and update the list with more accomplishments, the Inner Fiend has no choice but to acknowledge the success.

If you’re ever in a situation where opportunity knocks and you‘re resistant to opening the door because your Inner Fiend has gotten a bit chatty, pause and remind the little devil that you’ve been presented with opportunity before and you’re not going to let him stop you from seeing what’s behind this door. Remind him of an accomplishment or two and let him know that things are going to be just fine. He may be reluctant but eventually he’ll be a little less chatty and you might even hear from your Inner Child. You won’t know in advance what’s behind the door, and if your Inner Fiend talks you out of turning the handle and peering inside, then you’ll never know. So at that point, who will you listen to, your Inner Fiend or your Inner Child?

I believe we all have a magnificent story in us, we are our own version of the butterfly, ready to transform into our own magnificence. And the choices we make along this journey of life will determine how our magnificence unfolds.

Start the conversation. Who will you listen to?

If you’d like to share an interesting Inner Fiend story, send it along to ken@kenjaques.com.

I was sitting at dinner with a very good friend and his wife on Monday. It was his birthday, and this had been his first day back at work after a wonderful holiday in the Caribbean last week. When he walked into work that morning, he was met by the HR folks to inform him that they were downsizing and his services were no longer required, effective immediately. Happy Frickin’ Birthday! Well, nowadays being downsized at work is almost a right of passage. Gone are the days for most people to work at one company all their lives. But that doesn’t take away the pain of the moment when you’ve been delivered the news that you’re no longer employed.

At first, he was quite upset and had to go through the grieving process. How am I going to support the family now? I was doing such a good job for them, getting their processes running smoothly, how could they not see and appreciate the value that I was bringing to the company? Am I a failure? On and on the thoughts would come and be processed by the mind. We were scheduled to have dinner together that evening to talk about their vacation as they had met Prince Harry while on their trip, and we couldn’t even wait one more day to hear that story. Well the events of the day had them leaning toward cancelling dinner but the idea of spending time with close friends ended up winning out so there we were at one of our favorite restaurants, sharing great stories about the trip and talking about the other event of the day.

At one point I looked at my friend and suggested he go through a very simple exercise. Take the next day and imagine himself as a very young boy and ask himself what his future looked like. “Take the time to find your inner child”, I said. And as I said this I had the realization that this is good advice for me as well, and probably for lots of people.

What is your inner child?

Your inner child has no limiting beliefs. Your inner child doesn’t know how to be critical of himself. He doesn’t get in his own way. Your inner child knows what he wants right now and is able to enjoy what is happening right now. When you step into your inner child, there is nobody suggesting that you won’t be able to have all of your dreams come true. Of course they can all come true. All your relationships are wonderful. You are grateful for everything that you have and you have no regrets. Every day, you are doing exactly what you want to do. You have all that you need in order to live a happy life. You love everything about yourself and there’s nobody else that you’d rather be.

Do you remember that person? Do you remember your inner child?

I think our inner child is always there. It just so happens that he has met some other playmates over the years and some of them are a little less playful. They constantly remind him about “reality”, that he’s not good enough to fulfill all of his dreams and that his dreams are just his dreams, he can’t make them into reality.

My belief system tells me that it’s time to find my inner child. And it’s time to have a one-on-one conversation with him, his playmates are not invited. I want to hear all of his dreams and ideas. I want him to remind me that I really can live my dreams, I can have amazing relationships, and that I can look forward to what I’m going to do every day and that I’ll be able to support myself and my family while doing it. When I start to have thoughts that I can’t see how I’ll ever accomplish that, he’ll remind me that he wasn’t able to bring his doubting friends to this meeting, why did I bring mine? We’ll remember that it takes time, it takes steps every single day in the direction of our dreams that will make them happen. And he’ll also remind me that it takes practice. It took practice to learn our reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic, and it will take practice to live our dreams. But we learned our 3 R’s and we can learn to live our dreams as well.

What event will make you try to find your inner child?

For my friend, this career transition may just be the event that gets him to start looking inside for the answers. For me it was the onset of a chronic condition. For you, it might be one of these or it might be something else. But it seems like we all go through an event in our lives that gets us asking the question “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?”

I believe I have met my inner child and he’s reminded me to be playful. He’s reminded me not to be afraid of anything and to move forward every single day. He reminded me of a Lao Tzu quote “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” I don’t know how a child would have heard and remembered a quote like this, but I’m trusting the insight. In the amazing journey that I have begun, I’ve found that there is always help to be found to figure out the “how”. As long as I put out my call to help to the Universe, there always seems to be an answer that arrives. Sometimes I think of it myself, and sometimes it comes from some sort of synchronistic event, but it always seems to come as long as I get out of my own way and see the answers that have been presented.

I’m grateful that I have met my inner child and I intend to spend a lot more time with him.

Have you met your inner child?

If you’d like to share an interesting inner child story, send it along to ken@kenjaques.com.