Sunday, September 25, 2011

Where do i begin?hm..in about 2 hours time ill be leaving my sweet pamperd life and continue with the sad reality ive been livin in the past few days.perli2..ejek2..oh well... im not really care about others anymre.i hve mre imprtnt things to be taken cre of..jst b prfssional n do ur job.out of all the chllges dat im facing rite now..the mst challnging is leaving my dad facing his sickness on his own..byk sgguh dugaan yg menimpa at the same time.but i hope dat evrythng wll be jst fine..

As i was crying lying onhis stomach td..i was thinking..whthr ive been a gud daughter of him or not?as the youngest child..i do spnd mst of my time with him.but now,ihve to leave him when i am mst needed.aku brsyukur sbb Tuhan pelihara ayah dr more serious dcises..

.im thnkful to God as ive been given a chance to pamperd him..the momnt he asked me to potong kuku dia is the most touching momnt ever.he rarely ask for anything..at dat momnt i felt like i am ready to dedicate my whole life takin care of him.my heart ws greatly warmed with joy.Hes the most undrstnding prson in the whole world.even balkish noes dat his wan zainol is funneyh..he is the mst calm..penyabar..intllignt..n too much undrstnding n cnsidration to others..n kind sgt..fer sure.

My mom is 57 this year..and the gap between them is 11 years.then ya..due to dat fact..this momnt i think is the momnt where i shud be stying rite bside him..hmm. My dad is my hero..he is too hndsome to get married early.hehe.they get married when he was 35 yearsold. Hes been running all his life.lari dari anak2 murid permpuan..lari dr kene pksa kawen..lari dr cntinuing his degree in USM..comel kn dia..i wish i have more and more time to t8cre of him..insyaAllah.and it seems so hard to find someone dat can love my fther the way i do..he is hppy with his life now.his small fmily.bt as a daughthr..i really wish to see him plying wif my child..living in my luxurious house.I wll nvr leave this opprtunity walk pasthru me again.im going to wrk hard and make my parent proud!if u dun wnna get old andz broke..and u feel intrstd in invsting in govrnmnt approved trust fund kindly pls cntact me dirctly on my mobile at *********.

Friday, September 23, 2011

its kinda tuff week ive been living in this week. :-) but well.. ujian dan dugaan: tanda Allah sayang pada hambaNya kan? i dun know..i dun ever have enemy b4. have you? i think you do kan. sbb tu yg u leh cakap mcm tu. :-) yah.. ive been a gud colleague(kakak-kakak,abang-abang) in melaka, in cyberjaya..i still hve frens till today. i nvr get into a big fight before. only some "misunderstanding"dengan cik fifi. (i have guts to mention her name here as i really dun noe wut had happen between us) tapi sampai skang pun im not quite sure wut is the "thing" that coz this misundertsnding. mungkin SI BATU API..

wut do you think? /:-)

from my observation, this kind of peeps dun have any job to do kot? i guess so. because they have so many time to chat.. "mengadu domba" ..melaga-lagakan org. jst talk about others when meeting. do you think this kind of individual really care about you? do think again ya.double faces they are.. they will talk nicely in front of your face.. but.. do u noe wut they do/say behind your back? can u trust ur own BEST FREN? if you do..pls think again..:-)

ive been thinking..so many people nowadays..yg i dun noe.maybe xikhlas in everything they do?or say kot.for me.. if u need my help..just pls ask..dat is me. pls..dont hurt someone's feeling by saying all thebad words. "babi" semua. its shows your level of thinking/ur maturity. you noe how this bad word can make u fall into a big fight.dun START it.semua org ada perasaan.i have no time to see wut everyone's doing.but xsangka lak kan..ade gk org yg spying on wut im doing.tacup gambar for not more than 5 minutes boleh cause keje tak siap.. dun look down to other people.do you think you are good enuf?what you have been doin so far?

..mungkin Tuhan sengaja bagi i TERnampak wut im not suppose to see. :-) but im cool with it.at least i now how to deal with those people after this.i do noe..since dulu pun..i mmg huduh..ive never been beautiful or cute or wutsoeversh*t pn.i tau..i tau.badan pun macam MAKCIK.i tau..i have no cnfdnt.ive been trying to deal with this thing, struggle with it since i was in mmu.(sbb kt skolah i x rase sgt..sbb i have good frens since im in primary school) i have no fren in mmu.im too afraid to be fren with others.takot derang tak nak kawan dengan i sbb im ugly. sampaila after i finished my study.i have about 5 bes-ties..and other fren yg accpt me for who i am.:-)

after that..i startd kje kat kdh.designing 40x10feets of billboards..memenuhi jln2 kat kedah,,and i start gaining my confident since then.guys trying to get to noe me.but being me..i xlyn smua tu.bcos dari dulu i dah tanamkan..tu smua just nk mengejek je and nak buat i perasan.but sbnrnye im thankful dat im not dat kind of girl.at least i bukan jenis melayan.then i kja kt mmu..still with my unmanaged inferiority complex.im timid.rarely talk to people..(not bcos im not frenly or..berlagak sgt..)but it is really bcos the questions on my mind/are they really wanna be fren with me? the uglyfat girl??im sry if ive hurt anybody on this.but its nvr been my intention to stuck up my nose.all of this happn bcos i dun feel beautiful.i feel ugly.i noe..we have no rite untuk hina ciptaan Allah.berdosanya aku ya Allah..but ive beentrying so hard for not feeling ugly.i care too much on whut others might think of me.people might not like the way i dress, i makeup..but dat is the only way i can face org sekeliling.. i really have prob with this. for that im not going to have anybody by my site..besides my family..for the rest of my life..i guess.