Limiting Life Choices

Yesterday, I inadvertently limited your choices by not allowing comments on my post called Attitude Of Being Alone – Aging Alone. When I saw that not one person left me a message, I thought that maybe my writing ticked you all off. Thankfully, I now realize that wasn’t the case. I just fixed the comment thingy on that post, so if you haven’t read it yet, you won’t have a problem if you want to comment too.

Get Your Mind Around It

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “I have to get my mind around it.” That means that the person needs a little time to process the information in order to accept it. Several times in life it becomes necessary to get your mind around it with “it” being a situation, information or concept.

While talking to my mom tonight, she said, “I live day-to-day and don’t plan the future anymore.” To which I responded, “You must set goals or you won’t every accomplish anything.” She had a million excuses why she couldn’t succeed at this and that and that and that. It made me feel rather sad. My mother is limiting her life choices.

Let me give you an example. If the Dallas Cowboy football team wants to go to the Superbowl this year, they have to practice. The constant practice will help them become a cohesive team. If they work super hard as a team as well as exercise for optimal physical health, the Superbowl could become a reality. However, if they go to practice every day and say, “We won’t ever make it to the Superbowl,” their reality will be that they don’t make it to the Superbowl.

Attitude will limit our life choices.

Suppose there was a young man who wanted to be a brain surgeon, but he refused to go to college. Obviously, he wouldn’t become a brain surgeon. The young man’s goals were intact, but his actions didn’t match them.

In this case, actions limit life choices.

Mom told me that she needed to be realistic because she is 68 years old. Okay, realistically speaking, my mother will not become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader nor will she be the lead ballerina in The Nutcracker performed by the New York City Ballet. I understand that aspect of being realistic, but the other stuff…No, Mom is limiting her life choices because of her attitude.

Goals, hopes and dreams are not just for the young. People who are older should also plan for the future. Success is still possible. Just because you are older doesn’t mean that your life is going to end any faster than a baby that was born yesterday. No one knows how much time they have left to live on this planet, so we all could live to be one hundred years old. You can disagree with me, but the reality is that no one knows how much time they have left to live on this planet.

While driving in the Hampton Roads-Bridge Tunnel, you have to just believe that it won’t flood and that the car will safely arrive on the other side. You also have to believe that when you get to the other side of the tunnel, the bridge will be connected and you will eventually safely arrive on land again. I don’t know if you caught it, but that’s a whole lot of believing going on.

Life is like the Hampton Roads-Bridge Tunnel. Sometimes we are cruising through life like we are on a bridge. We can see the road and as long as we don’t veer off, we will be safe. Then there are times that we are in the tunnel. We can see a short distance ahead of us, but because of hills, walls and the ceiling, we can’t see very far. People, our bodies, experiences and our choices all limit what can happen in our future. Even when we start to approach the end of the tunnel, there is just blackness – a huge gaping black hole.

That’s what I want to tell you about…the huge gaping black hole. We can set goals and have a positive attitude, but when you get right down to it, life is a huge gaping black hole of unknown stuff. We have to just believe and have faith that the darkness will brighten up once we get closer.

Did you catch that? Believe and have faith.

Get your mind around believing that you CAN still accomplish many things with your life regardless of your age. Success does not have an age limit. Let me say that one more time…Success does not have an age limit. The mind is a powerful thing and it can help you succeed, stagnate or fail. It is all up to you.

So…

Are you going to believe and have faith or have you already decided to limit your life choices?

This post was written by...

Sherry Riter is also known as The Redhead Riter. Sherry is witty, intelligent and addictive as she writes about cooking, family, marriage, failures, blogging tips, art, humor, inspiration, travel, PTSD and aging.
Her goal is to inspire, motivate, educate and to make her audience laugh. Sherry embraces being a redhead and helps others to see the redhead point of view…"In some eras redheads were worshipped while others thought us witches. Personally, I like the former and think every day is 'Love a redhead day!'" She can also be found on Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Linkedin, tweeting as @TheRedheadRiter and you can subscribe to her free blog feed.

When you reach my age, you do not make goals far in the distance. You try to just make goals to get up the next day. I have goals, long-term ones even, but–it is difficult to move and to focus when fighting pain or depression. Sometimes I will go to a place that is empty and you just want to stay in the quiet of things. I am tired. My age group celebrates memories they have had and they are not about making more in abundance. We tend to slow down and that is fine. I have been working on Christmas since the 26 of last December…lol My fingers do not always work and my brain fails me sometimes.

I sometimes feel that all of that “goal setting” just makes me more stressed and disappointed. In my world disappointed can also be used as just another word for failure, especially when I don’t accomplish the “goals”. I have shifted to what I refer to as my To Do List in the past months. By changing a few words, I know it sounds crazy, but I give myself permission to reschedule, reassess and be kinder to myself for not having completed the task. Essentially, I’ve only changed my font and a a title, but I feel as if I can breath more easily. The items that I would like to accomplish haven’t changed, only the approach. I believe that I will be seeing more check marks next to my items. So, I’ve taken a little bit of your approach and a little bit of your Mom’s attitude, mixed them together and created my own style. Whatever works! Have a great Monday.

Don’t get stressed over the list and don’t feel like you have to accomplish everything on the list at once. That’s what is putting the pressure on you and making the anxiety. Make a list and give yourself a LONG time to accomplish it. That way, you will always beat the time 😀

I agree that a positive attitude, a belief in a desired outcome, is powerful at any age. There are some things, including the physical effects of aging, that aren’t completely responsive to even the strongest belief – but there is nothing more destructive than giving in to a belief that there is only a dark tunnel ahead. I know from my own experience that it is possible to rejuvenate much of oneself to a very satisfying extent by a positive outlook, so I keep driving, & watching for the open sky at the end of the tunnel! 🙂

As I read through this post, I can’t help but to think of my father. Every year he had a huge garden. As he got older and older, he would tell me it was his last garden. Even though he said that, his garden was still quite a size, and he harvested a lot of food from it. This past year though, in his 93rd year, his garden was considerably smaller. It alarmed me when I saw how small it was! Sure enough, it was his last year and needless to say, with the drought we had this year, it was his worst garden. I wonder though, if his goal was indeed, the end result. He said it often enough, “I want to go be with your mother.” He has.

I’m so glad that he was able to live so long and be with you. I’m really glad that you have the peace of knowing your parents are together. Maybe he knew it was his time to go too and had peace leaving.

"How rare and wonderful is that flash of a moment
when we realize we have discovered a friend."~William E. Rothschild~Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.I respond back to all comments.