Need a bit of support with this whole parenting lark? This is the place to get it! Please note, as a chat board for parents, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting. If you haven't already, make sure you're signed up to the Netmums Parenting Course – an eight-week email programme delivered to your inbox, designed to make you a more confident, calm parent.

advice about smacking your children

Paula T(123)

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 8.47AM

I think Joanne that if a child hits you and you then hit them back is sending a child very mixed messages. It's okay for me to hit you but as a child you cannot hit me. That's so confusing and pot kettle black springs to mind.
I'm not a namby pamby mum and I don't sit and reason for hours with my dd, I'm the adult an she does what I tell her and there is no reasoning with my dd. Dd knows her bondries, what is acceptable and what is not and knows what happens if she is naughty. She hates going in the time out zone (as she should!) and knows when she is naughty she has to go there and loses out in fun as she sat on a step for several minutes. Dd only ends up in time out zone once a month, which I think is pretty good

Last message from previous page:I think Joanne that if a child hits you and you then hit them back is sending a child very mixed messages. It's okay for me to hit you but as a child you cannot hit me. That's so confusing and pot kettle black springs to mind.

I'm not a namby pamby mum and I don't sit and reason for hours with my dd, I'm the adult an she does what I tell her and there is no reasoning with my dd. Dd knows her bondries, what is acceptable and what is not and knows what happens if she is naughty. She hates going in the time out zone (as she should!) and knows when she is naughty she has to go there and loses out in fun as she sat on a step for several minutes. Dd only ends up in time out zone once a month, which I think is pretty good

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

(Advertising)

Your browser cannot play this video.

Jac08loe

Guest

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.01AM

I have smacked my son in the passed and I will do it again if needs be. When I say smack he got a tap on the bum and he had done something serious which would of gotten him hurt badly so he needed to realise how serious it was! I am lucky though as telling my son off or &#034;the look&#034; is usually enough to get him to stop what he is doing. I dont condond abusing a child before people start that. It is not abuse it was discpline and to be honest I know ALOT of children that could be doing with a smack! If they got disciplined properly maybe they wouldn't be such cheeky disrespectful brats. Now before I get jumped on again I know not all children that dont get smacked are like this and I am not saying they are. Just saying that I know from friends and families kids firstly my son would not do half the things they did and secondly if they did he would get a smack on the bum for it!

I have smacked my son in the passed and I will do it again if needs be. When I say smack he got a tap on the bum and he had done something serious which would of gotten him hurt badly so he needed to realise how serious it was! I am lucky though as telling my son off or "the look" is usually enough to get him to stop what he is doing. I dont condond abusing a child before people start that. It is not abuse it was discpline and to be honest I know ALOT of children that could be doing with a smack! If they got disciplined properly maybe they wouldn't be such cheeky disrespectful brats. Now before I get jumped on again I know not all children that dont get smacked are like this and I am not saying they are. Just saying that I know from friends and families kids firstly my son would not do half the things they did and secondly if they did he would get a smack on the bum for it!

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Deleted profile

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.12AM

i don't smack my children , i think it's wrong and there is so many other ways to deal with naughty behaviour. I really don't see how smacking acomplishes anything other than making your child scared of you. However, if a parent displines their child with smacking its none of my business , each to their own.

i don't smack my children , i think it's wrong and there is so many other ways to deal with naughty behaviour. I really don't see how smacking acomplishes anything other than making your child scared of you. However, if a parent displines their child with smacking its none of my business , each to their own.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

joanne h(512)

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.19AM

Once again, It's my opinion as I clearly said, those are my views and agreed not everyone elses, so thank you for your comments ladies. I was talking about the extremes, obv I use other methods, but some children are challenging and talking to them about what is acceptable, just does not work! then a tap on the hand or bum IN MY VIEW is ok.

Once again, It's my opinion as I clearly said, those are my views and agreed not everyone elses, so thank you for your comments ladies. I was talking about the extremes, obv I use other methods, but some children are challenging and talking to them about what is acceptable, just does not work! then a tap on the hand or bum IN MY VIEW is ok.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Deleted profile

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.19AM

I don't think thats fair. I would rather discuss the childs actions and reason with the child to teach them right from wrong , i think this is a more seffective way tha taking your hand across their little faces. If you have ever watched supernanny ( jo frost) their are effective non violent techniques that you can use on your children and show them that you mean business. And judging by her sucess id say her method is 99% better than hitting a child. But again thats just my opinion.

I think the namby pamby mums, who say, thats not nice and sit for hours reasoning things out with little horrors, need a wake up call.Now I am running to take cover!!!!!!!!

Show more

Show less

I don't think thats fair. I would rather discuss the childs actions and reason with the child to teach them right from wrong , i think this is a more seffective way tha taking your hand across their little faces. If you have ever watched supernanny ( jo frost) their are effective non violent techniques that you can use on your children and show them that you mean business. And judging by her sucess id say her method is 99% better than hitting a child. But again thats just my opinion.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Geo04niu

Guest

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.20AM

Like others have said I used to smack in the past when it was considered the norm. My eldest is 20 youngest 2 and pregnant. Much the same as smoking in pregnancy used to be ok well it never was it's just we didn't know the facts as with smacking we hadn't really taken on board the full implications of these actions. So I too have learnt as I have gone along. That said if a child suddenly darts across a car park my first reaction is to shout and grab child. That is instinct the panic makes you angry with them. Same as poking fingers somewhere dangerous that would still get a short slap out of danger it's instinct to do so.

Like others have said I used to smack in the past when it was considered the norm. My eldest is 20 youngest 2 and pregnant. Much the same as smoking in pregnancy used to be ok well it never was it's just we didn't know the facts as with smacking we hadn't really taken on board the full implications of these actions. So I too have learnt as I have gone along. That said if a child suddenly darts across a car park my first reaction is to shout and grab child. That is instinct the panic makes you angry with them. Same as poking fingers somewhere dangerous that would still get a short slap out of danger it's instinct to do so.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

emma h(637)

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.23AM

Firstly, I am not a horrible mother, and I do sometimes smack my child. We use other methods too, but I am not going to pair down my response or say that I have only smacked him once or twice. I use other punishments too like time out etc and he is never smacked very hard. I believe that it did not do me much harm, and I am not beating him or torturing him and he has a happy childhood, enough food, warmth and loving caring parents. Smacking is not a huge issue for us, he is little and forgets it in 5 mins. I love him too much to hurt him and I never would! I spoke out because I believe these things and the overwhelming response here is that it is awful, dreadful - and almost akin to child abuse. I never ever post on these threads for fear of being bashed... but in all honesty, its a thread and although things can get passionate - its my child, against everyone's beliefs? I think as long as a child is not being really harmed (I mean abused,neglected, fed junk food all the time... or simply not being fed....) and the child is loved, fed and clothed and well rounded -who has the right to tell them how to parent?

I think that there's a view that if you don't smack your children must be allowed to run riot, don't have boundaries, don't know how to behave and that the parents who opt not to smack are, "namby pamby". There's a huge area between both ends of the spectrum and just because children aren't smacked, doesn't mean they're not going to have good discipline instilled in them.

Show more

Show less

Firstly, I am not a horrible mother, and I do sometimes smack my child. We use other methods too, but I am not going to pair down my response or say that I have only smacked him once or twice. I use other punishments too like time out etc and he is never smacked very hard. I believe that it did not do me much harm, and I am not beating him or torturing him and he has a happy childhood, enough food, warmth and loving caring parents. Smacking is not a huge issue for us, he is little and forgets it in 5 mins. I love him too much to hurt him and I never would! I spoke out because I believe these things and the overwhelming response here is that it is awful, dreadful - and almost akin to child abuse. I never ever post on these threads for fear of being bashed... but in all honesty, its a thread and although things can get passionate - its my child, against everyone's beliefs? I think as long as a child is not being really harmed (I mean abused,neglected, fed junk food all the time... or simply not being fed....) and the child is loved, fed and clothed and well rounded -who has the right to tell them how to parent?

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

susan n(6)

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.25AM

There is no such thing as a controlled smack. I tend to think you did it in anger. My stepmother was a screamer and whatever object she could find was for smacking, more like beating. So i am totally anti smacking. I hated it, it is demeaning causing pain.

There is no such thing as a controlled smack. I tend to think you did it in anger. My stepmother was a screamer and whatever object she could find was for smacking, more like beating. So i am totally anti smacking. I hated it, it is demeaning causing pain.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Paula T(123)

Posted on 27-09-2011 at 9.33AM

I dont just talk about what is acceptable, when my dd does something that is NOT acceptable there are consequences (time out zone) we dont just talk about things :) Some children are challenging, as a childminder i have had my fair share of them, but hitting is not the answer. It teaches nothing accept that violence is acceptable - and it isnt!
When i was wee my real dad used to smack me. I hated it, i hated him, i feared him. Thats not what i want for my children.

Once again, It's my opinion as I clearly said, those are my views and agreed not everyone elses, so thank you for your comments ladies. I was talking about the extremes, obv I use other methods, but some children are challenging and talking to them about what is acceptable, just does not work! then a tap on the hand or bum IN MY VIEW is ok.

Show more

Show less

I dont just talk about what is acceptable, when my dd does something that is NOT acceptable there are consequences (time out zone) we dont just talk about things Some children are challenging, as a childminder i have had my fair share of them, but hitting is not the answer. It teaches nothing accept that violence is acceptable - and it isnt!

When i was wee my real dad used to smack me. I hated it, i hated him, i feared him. Thats not what i want for my children.

0

Like this post

Log in

Add an account

Deleted profile

Posted on 03-11-2011 at 8.31AM

I was 18 in 2003 and my parents had told me on several occasions not to smoke and I had various punishments like smacking and the slipper as well as being grounded.
Mum decided enough was enough and she managed to get a cane from somewhere.
Mum made me bend over a desk and I got 6 extremely hard strokes on my bottom.
I certainly did not like it at the time but it did stop me smoking.
Amy

I was 18 in 2003 and my parents had told me on several occasions not to smoke and I had various punishments like smacking and the slipper as well as being grounded.Mum decided enough was enough and she managed to get a cane from somewhere.Mum made me bend over a desk and I got 6 extremely hard strokes on my bottom.I certainly did not like it at the time but it did stop me smoking.