The fight for acceptance of same-sex marriage has been debated in the U.S. Supreme Court and featured in scholarly books like the recently released "Forcing the Spring: Inside the Fight for Marriage Equality."

Now it takes the next step to the mainstream - TV car ads.

Last week, One Toyota, an Oakland car dealership, quietly began running a sweet but groundbreaking spot on Bay Area television stations. It begins with a woman sitting in her car in her driveway talking on a phone and apologizing to her spouse.

"Honey, I know I told you to meet me at the dealership," she says. "But I bought the car!"

And, she says, to get the best deal, "I didn't even have to tell them I was married to an attorney."

That's the setup for the payoff.

"Do you want to see it?" she asks. "Come on out."

The front door of the house opens and out comes her partner - a woman.

The "reveal" is so subtle that some viewers, like the ones in our house, may have to play the ad back and watch it again. Not that there aren't critics. Among the comments on YouTube was one (since removed) that sniped, "Keep your politics out of this. Kids watch TV too you know."

Uh, yeah, says dealership owner Brian McCafferty, and some of them may well be the children of local same-sex couples.

"This is Northern California, not Alabama," he said. "I don't know if anyone has checked, but it's 2014."

David Pippenger, whose Oregon-based Handcrafted Media created the ad, says he thinks it's a first.

"As far as I know, and I specialize in automotive advertising, no one has ever seen a local advertisement that has a same-sex couple in it," he said.

Rich Ferraro of GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), says his group tracks national advertisements. He mentioned a national Chevrolet ad that aired in February during the Winter Olympics. But that spot was a series of short vignettes representing all types of American families, including a gay couple, not an ad that featured only a same-sex relationship.

There have been others, scattered around the country, but it is important to remember the reaction in 1994 when the national furniture chain Ikea featured a TV ad showing two gay men shopping for a dining room table. The ad ran just once before it was pulled on the threat that a store in New York would be bombed.

Local AIDS activist Cleve Jones, who started the AIDS Memorial Quilt in the mid-1980s, says the ad is just the latest example of the shift in public perception.

"As somebody who has been doing this work for many decades, I think it is just astonishing," Jones said. "Not just the political change, but I am continually startled at how the hearts and minds of the American people have come around to a more compassionate and thoughtful view of this issue."

Support from the top

Jones, who was invited to the White House later this month for the launch of a stamp honoring his friend the late Harvey Milk, says the change is as ubiquitous as a TV sitcom.

Although One Toyota's ad was created for distribution strictly in the Bay Area, McCafferty says the national Toyota home office had no problem with the content.

"We have no obligation (to get approval)," he said. "But we showed it to Toyota/Lexus and they were very supportive."

And while the ad can be seen as a courageous stand on a hot-button issue, let's remember that McCafferty is running a business. Brad Barnett, general manager at the One Toyota dealership, returned from a business seminar with statistics showing 55 percent of Toyotas are bought by women and 85 percent of purchases are influenced by women.

Clearly, a new ad campaign needed to acknowledge female buyers. And, as McCafferty says, that meant all women.

"There are multiple same-sex customers of ours," he says, "and they sit there and watch ads and say, 'Why in the world does every customer look the same? I'm in a relationship and no advertiser is speaking to me.' "

The dealership's business model is to "think different," so the ad is not only socially commendable, but a chance to reinforce the brand. Predictably, early responses from same-sex couples have been positive.

"My wife and I were thrilled to see your new commercial featuring the two married women," one couple e-mailed the dealer. "Please thank whoever was responsible for it. We won't forget this when we buy our next car."

Ready for backlash

But, of course, the real concern was the knee-jerk conservatives.

"I was not expecting an avalanche of negative comments," Pippenger said, "but I had the staff prepared for some. But at this point the few negatives we've gotten on YouTube have been it."

Part of the reason is that the spot is just beginning to air. But it also speaks to the fact that the ad is both tasteful and subtle.

"That was by design," Pippenger said. "We wanted it to be such a slice of life that it was different, but not that different. All credit to Brian, who said in conversations: What if this is a same sex couple? The important thing is that it not come across as gimmicky or patronizing."

That said, Pippenger says they were aware they were straight guys trying to put together an ad for a gay audience. Pitfalls abound.

"My worst fear was that I would miss something obvious that would be offensive," Pippenger said. "So once we came up with the idea we called same-sex couples."

Their suggestion was that when an announcer intoned the dealership's catch phrase: "We're not just different, we're really different," it made it sound as if he was saying the couples were really different. So the announcer's voice was taken out.

The result is a witty and warm 30-second spot that only a dedicated curmudgeon could dislike.

"To me, the most beautiful thing about the spot was playing it for people that I thought would take exception," Pippenger said. "They were like, "Wow. I didn't see that coming.' "