My dog Cola is in heat. She’s about 14 months old and should have been spayed already as her sister Ardilla has been, but every time we took her on the big three-hour drive to Managua to see the vet, she would arrive with a fever and the vet didn’t want to operate thinking she was sick. Once we got home the fever always disappeared. We decided it was just a nervous reaction and next time she’s getting her surgery regardless, but before getting a chance to make another appointment she went into her first heat. I wrote the following message after an intense experience trying to make sure she stayed a virgin.

No beach walk for me or the dogs this afternoon. I was a little worried about Cola getting attacked by a horny male dog on the beach yesterday but there were no problems, so I didn’t even think about it today. It was about an hour before sunset and I got the dogs and myself excited and headed for the beach. My shortcut to the beach path these days requires crossing through three barbed wire fences and about 100ft of untamed knee-high. They took off a little ahead of me and by the time I saw my neighbor Margarita’s male dog there was still one barbed wire fence and all that knee high scratchy stuff between me and the pack rustling on the path.

Margarita’s dog was circling and I started yelling and hopping through the scratchies to break it up. They ran down through another barbed wire fence into the neighboring property with no path through thicker monte. I followed as quickly as I could. When I got to them he was mounting and thrusting but couldn’t get it in. I scared him off, dove to tackle her, and barely caught her by the back leg just in time to keep her from bolting after
him.

I hoisted her over my lower back and carried her up through all the weeds and fences while Margarita’s dog followed. Ardilla was overly excited as usual and running around in circles not sure what to do with herself. At one point she got behind margarita’s dog and started
humping him – which I thought was awesome.

I shoved Cola inside and through an excited, mostly pantomime and sound effect conversation I told the story to my caretaker, Osmar. He laughed and pointed out my bleeding leg and arm scratches and let his big male dog, Leo, off his leash, who then took off bounding across the lot to secure the perimeter. A little while later I saw him through the window peeing on palms and aggressively scratching up the dry leafy dust while singing a low growl. Margarita’s dog continues circling.

The next day poor Cola was locked up inside while I took the other three to the beach. Unfortunately, she decided to take out her sexual frustration on my phone. Or maybe it was just her trying to call her boyfriend to let him know the coast was clear and he should cruise over!