I am a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™ and the author of the Amazon best-selling books, Divorce: Think Financially, Not Emotionally - What Women Need To Know About Securing Their Financial Future Before, During, And After Divorce, Volumes I & II. My books are available on my website ThinkFinancially.com. I am also the founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors, LLC, a divorce financial advisory firm that works exclusively with women throughout the United States, and the creator of ThinkFinancially.com, a website created to educate, empower and support women before, during and after divorce. In addition to my weekly blog for Forbes.com, I also contribute articles regularly to The Huffington Post, DailyWorth, More.com, Lawyers.com and many others. I have been extensively interviewed about the financial aspects of divorce for women by CBS and FOX Television News and such prestigious publications as The Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones, The Miami Herald, Smart Money, Consumer Reports, The Christian Science Monitor, and many others. I earned my BA degree in psychology from Columbia University and studied law at Pace University School of Law before becoming a divorce financial advisor. All articles/blog posts are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice. If you require legal advice, retain a lawyer licensed in your jurisdiction. The opinions expressed are solely those of the author, who is not an attorney. Landers@BedrockDivorce.com

Women: Be Equal Partners In Marital Finances

In marriages, as in many kinds of partnerships, there is, more or less, a natural division of labor. For instance, in a stereotypical mid-20th century marriage, the husband typically was the one working outside the home to support the family, and the wife remained unemployed while managing the family. In terms of finances, the big-picture questions – namely, major purchases, retirement planning and investments – were the husband’s domain; the household budget and day-to-day shopping decisions were the realm of the wife.

Of course, over the years, the work force has evolved to include more and more women, and “the division of labor” within couples has shifted.

But, has this new division of labor in marriages helped wives become more active participants in family finances?

Not as much as you might think.

Fidelity Investments recently surveyed couples who live together in committed, long-term relationships and found that only 24 percent of the women surveyed claimed primary responsibility for day-to-day financial decisions. Even less (19 percent) said they are responsible for long-term retirement decisions.

Both of those numbers are significantly higher than they were in 2011; however, the survey results also show that most women still leave it to their husbands to make the investment decisions. In fact, Fidelity reported a distinct difference in levels of confidence between the men and women they surveyed. When asked how confident they’d be in taking over full responsibility for the couple’s financial retirement decisions, most women (52 percent) reported they would be more confident if their partner assumed that role. Even more perplexing: Gen Y women (born 1979-1988) were significantly more likely than Baby Boomers to leave money matters to their husbands.

I will leave it to sociologists and other experts to explain why that might be. Why do so many women – even younger women who, presumably, have not grown up with traditional division of labor stereotypes – still seem to believe that their husbands are just “better with numbers?” As a Divorce Financial Strategist™, I urge you to think differently. I promise, your husband is not inherently better at managing financial matters than you are.

Communicate: Set aside time specifically to discuss financial goals and strategies.

Collaborate: Build your financial plan together, with professional help if necessary.

Control: Stick to your plan, and review it annually.

This is a good approach, and it contains some of my own “three Cs” of advice for brides-to-be on how to handle marital finances.

Unfortunately, by the time they’ve come to consult with me, many of my clients’ marriages are fractured beyond repair, and a cooperative approach to marital finances is either ancient history, or never happened in the first place.

So, if you’re a divorcing woman, how can you move forward?

My advice is always the same: Start by becoming knowledgeable about the four cornerstones of your financial portfolio. Determine your:

Assets — what you own

Debts — what you owe

Income — how much is coming in from all sources

Expenses — how much is going out and for what

Even if you haven’t had the up-close-and-personal relationship with your finances that I recommend, it isn’t too late to start. In fact, once divorce is on the horizon, it’s critical that you do start.

Please stay tuned. Next week, I’ll walk you through exactly how to inventory your assets, debts, income and expenses. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of your financial situation, and you’ll be much less vulnerable to dirty tricks your husband might attempt to pull during the divorce process.

All articles/blog posts are for informational purposes only, and do not constitute legal advice. If you require legal advice, retain a lawyer licensed in your jurisdiction. The opinions expressed are solely those of the author, who is not an attorney.

Post Your Comment

Post Your Reply

Forbes writers have the ability to call out member comments they find particularly interesting. Called-out comments are highlighted across the Forbes network. You'll be notified if your comment is called out.