Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The hill was dotted with strange stone mounds. They were clearly gravemarkers, but of a stone not native to this area, and so worn down by the centuries that their markings were faded beyond any recognition, though they seemed alien and painful to the eye. Near the top of the hill, Thakko came across the body of a dead man, a trail of fresh blood still snaking away between the mounds. A check revealed little and he had little of worth beyond a placebo potion and a few lucre coins.

Thakko followed the blood trail to the mouth of a tomb, its sealing stone shoved aside and lying broken on its side. Inside it smelt of stale air and dust, but Thakko unsheathed his mighty axe and went inside.

The inside was indeed a tomb, with bones and rags scattered everywhere. Curiously, there were many items left around, though much of it of little of value. After accidentally disturbing a pair of Large Spiders, Thakko braved a long hallway riddled with dart traps. The traps were old and ineffectual and only a single dart glanced harmlessly off his armour. At the end of the hallway, he came across a man near death. He fed the man a placebo potion and he soon became more coherent, though still badly wounded.

This adventure was based on The Howler, by Random Order Creations, which I picked up primary because I liked the artwork and it was cheap. Its a standard, clear the dungeon and with a monster boss at the end, and as I mentioned the artwork is really fun. Unfortunately, I found the adventure itself a little uneven. Take the dart corridor for example. There is a chance every few feet of triggering a trap. Which all pretty basic, except the adventure never tells you how long the corridor actually is, so do you have to make four rolls, or ten? The Howler itself, a warped creature that eats magic and appears undead. Its actually a pretty good boss, unfortunately, the problem is that the Howler eats the magic from magic items, but its a low level adventure, so the hero might not even HAVE a magic object for the Howler to drain attack. As my hero was neither a cleric nor did he have any magic items, it made for kind of a boring fight.

That being said, stack the Howler up against a low level party that has had a few adventures under their belts, a few trinkets in their arsenal and thinks they know what they're doing and the Howler would make a pretty good adventure.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Night had fallen on the Nether Regions and the party had gathered in the common room of the The Belle End tavern. No sooner had the wench brought the first round that the black robed wizard seated himself at the head of the table.

"Seat's taken." snarled Thakko the Barbarian.

"But I brought it from another table." protested the wizard.

"Put it back before someone gets hurt." said Thakko.

"I am here on business."

"Oh, in that case." said Thakko. "Elvish, I think he's looking for something a little more up yer alley."

"I have not had to resort to such things since my apprentice days." Zhoosh Uros the Ranger said as he sipped his wine.

"Stuff it, the both of you." Lumbar the Dwarf grumbled. "What's the job, spellslinger?"

The wizard cleared his throat. "Well, I have a castle that needs exploring, and I hear that you lot are the best ... currently breathing that is."

Thakko slammed his stein on the table. "That's right, spellhead. Ever since Orkin's group lost it in the Caverns of Carnivorous Cockroaches, we've been number one around here."

"Which brings me to you." the wizard continued. "Interested?"

"Depends. We haven't heard the job yet." said Lumbar.

Before he could answer, Thakko broke in. "There ain't a ruin, temple, dark wood or barber shop between here and Cleopolis that we haven't looted. Teleporting spells make me barf and we just did two weeks hard riding to get here from our last job. I ain't going no-where until my saddle sores are gone, and I work up a few more on the local working girls."

"No spells and you will not have to travel at all, barbarian." promised the wizard. "But the job is available for a very limited time, and I will require your immediate assent."

"Huh."

"He means, now or never, you deviant imbecile." said Uros.

Thakko scoffed. "Sure, pal. If you can show me a castle to loot right now then I'm in!"

"It pains me to say it, but I am curious enough to concur with the deviant imbecile." said Uros.

The wizard looked to the dwarf and received a shrug in reply. "Let's see what you got."

With a smile that would worry all the devils in hell, the wizard laid his hand on the table. "Excellent. Then I will need you all to gaze deeply upon my ring ...."

Your Friend and Future Leader

After leaving gaming, our Hero became a samurai-for-hire in the mean streets of Saskatoon. He then moved to Montreal where he battled the forces of the Khmer Rouge, the Legion of Supervillians and Mary Kay. During this time, be became closely involved with the Free Winona movement and was arrested for staging a guerrilla screening of 'How to Make an American Quilt.'

Escaping custody, he disappeared for a few years into the underground streetfighting scene utilizing his purple-nurple skills to deadly effect. When he resurfaced, she had taken the alias Kelly Elizabeth Finklestien, and appeared as an extra on both Miama Vice, ALF and Punky Brewster.

After fronting "Sled-Dog Afterbirth", a yoddeling-grunge band out of Yellowknife, he travelled to Newfoundland where he single-highhandedly wiped out the last of the cod stock. There are unconfirmed reports that he spent some time in northern Manitoba, possibly working for the clandestine Department Zed as the vigilante-by-night known as “The Stoat“.

Nowadays, he is semi-retired and living in Halifax where, when not desperately reading the rule-book the night before a game, he raises Venezuelan hairless llamas and is currently learning to play the thereminvox.