Gay Mafia Inspired By Puritan Witch Hunters

This week, the head honcho of Mozilla got the ax for making a private donation in support of traditional marriage. How dare he!

One would think that the traditional bigots would learn by now, to keep their beliefs to themselves. Tolerance only goes one way: The gay way. Even Bill Maher is scared of the Gay Mafia, who believe that merely being forced out of your job and getting reamed on Twitter is not enough penance for holding traditional values.

Seeing many similarities between themselves and the Salem Witch Hunters of 1692 (progress), the Gay Mafia have enlisted the services of a Puritan public shaming consultancy firm, comprised of members of the notorious court.

Judge William Stoughton, unrepentant prosecutor of the witch trials, produced a statement on this new partnership and all it entails:

“We are pleased to join with the Gay Mafia to purge any dissenters from our midst.

All who believe marriage is between one man and one woman shall now be emblazoned with the scarlet letter ‘T.’ If the Traditional Marriage Heretic shall not willingly be emblazoned, they shall be subjected to any of the following methods of torture: