If I Told You A Man Was Banned From Ordering Pizzas, What State Would You Guess He’s From

FLORIDA – What would you have to do for a judge to issue a ban on you ever ordering pizza? Randy Riddle of Sebastian was charged with four counts of harassing phone calls, two counts of first-degree petty theft and one count of second-degree petty theft, after he allegedly making multiple harassing calls to two pizza restaurants. A police investigation states Riddle made orders and refused to pay for them, directed delivery people to fake or vacant addresses, and made calls to the businesses just to tell them their pizza was gross. Over a three week period, Riddle used five different phone numbers, false names and even refusing to give his name at times. He also made repeated calls to Sebastian police, Sebastian City Hall and the state Department of Health to complain about the restaurants. Riddle made bail with the strict instruction from an Indian River County judge to not call the businesses for delivery. This isn’t the first time Riddle has been accused of making harassing phone calls, he was convicted for the same crime 8 years ago when he lived in Vero Beach, police said.

The dog chef GIF doesn’t have anything to do with the article, but I stumbled upon it and I had to use it. I’m not a monster. Anyway, Florida – you sweet, sweet bitch. I heard this story on the radio this morning and didn’t hear the part about where the guy was from, but I should’ve known it was Florida. Only someone from Florida would continually harass a pizza joint, of all places, until the police were forced to intervene and not only arrest him, but ban him from ordering pizzas. I’m not going to lie, that sentence might be worse than death. I don’t order pizzas all the time, but knowing you have that option in your back pocket can be a life saver sometimes. Taking that away from me is basically taking away one of my constitutional rights and turning me into a savage. The best (?) part is that this isn’t the first time he’s done this. He is a habitual pizza place harasser. I don’t know how you land on that as an obsession, but I think we should keep an eye on this guy. If he can’t harass pizza parlors, there’s no telling what he’ll end up doing with all that spare time.