THOUGHTS ON WOMEN OVER 40 WHO ARE NOT TOO OLD TO DATE

Why is it that when a man turns 40 or 50, all he wants is a 25 or 30 year old, but when it comes to women over 40 or 50 – there are no men to date except the 30 year olds? Men want young, succulent women when they’re older, but we as mature women know what we want in a real relationship – we have to deal with younger men instead of men our own age. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing but its’ acceptable for an older man to date a young woman in her 20’s and 30’s and feel comfortable, and a woman in her 40’s and 50’s to date a younger man, its either not acceptable or she’s a COUGAR…

Men in their 40’s and 50’s date women date women that are 20 and 30 to feel comfortable about themselves for having a trophy wife, which leaves a gap in the dating arena of ‘Fabulous Mature Women’ not finding a mature mate. So where did all the mature single men go? They either date younger women or they die younger earlier.

Sometimes, it’s a reality that is unfair to ‘good women’ looking for a ‘good man’ as a long term companion, it just requires a shift in strategize thinking to look at the issue differently. Ask yourself “who thinks I’m sexy? Who thinks I’m hot?” Is it the much older or the much younger men? More than likely it’s both – the much older thinks women in the 40’s and 50’s are sexy, while the much younger think women in their 40’s and 50’s are hot. For most women, including myself –we don’t wear our years in dowdy dresses; it’s the way we act, and the way we live our lives. We are vibrant mature women that have a zest for life and want a mature minded companion.

How old does a woman have to be in order to find a decent mature companion? And where is she supposed to find this decent mature companion? Consider the principles from a business perspective; sell what people want to buy. But what if that doesn’t work? I have known people that have went on dates and because they weren’t 20 or 30, they’re dates returned the purchase before finding out what’s within that person – they didn’t find out the good in that person or what that person could become in their lives – these men judged what could possibly become something real and memorable because of an age factor.

There is a rule that state dividing your age in half and add seven is a socially acceptable minimum date age to feel free with. Does the rule work for women? NO… the rule works better for men, but fall short because of the age-related preferences of women feeling comfortable dating 29 year old men – which does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women. Women over 40 think that a man five years younger or older is acceptable for a relationship and the ages seem to fit men also. How well does this rule reflect what society has deemed an unacceptable discrepancy? It doesn’t… the fact is men want something younger or eye candy that is perky, and drama filled. Whereas, a mature woman knows what she want as far as a relationship, they know how to make their partner feel worthy, and they’re independent enough to hold their own in any situation. Just because a mature woman is beyond her prime doesn’t mean she is obsolete, and just because the relationships failed doesn’t mean they were the right relationship to begin with.

The other day as I was flipping through the stations on television, I came across a 2003 movie that is perfect for this article ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ with Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson, and Keanu Reeves. Jack’s character is dating Diane’s 20 something daughter and after a Viagra overload, he has to be taken to the hospital, in which Keanu Reeves’ character is smitten with Diane’s character which now has to watch Jack’s character at her home to recuperate. Jack’s character want to start a relationship with Diane’s character for the weekend, but he keep going back to his old ways of dating 20 something year olds – until he finally comes to his senses and realize that this woman that is over 40 is vibrant, don’t have to be taught, and may be out of his league. Do men think that women over 40 and 50 are out of their league or is it just the trophy wife syndrome?

As women, we have to pick and choose who to bring into our lives and it becomes har when the choosing become slim – because you’re over 40. Yes we are alone, but not lonely when it comes to finding a good relationship. In this internet dating world, it’s also becomes hopeless when you think you’ve found a match and he wants a younger woman, or sex before he moves on to the next conquest. Some women might be missing out on finding love because they feel bruised and rejected, or a lack of confidence because of a previous relationship – we have to keep dating until there is a match, older or younger, or be blissfully happy being by yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to settle, but if you want a wonderful person in your life – it shouldn’t matter about the age factor.

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About the Author

My name is Denise Locke, and I have two adult sons which I am proud of. I am a divorced mom of five years and I have finally learned to accept that fact, and forgive him in order to love and venture out to see who I really am. I have learned that I am independent, goal driven, and stronger to be the woman I am today.

My sons being my greatest accomplishments have made me proud to call Christopher and Nikolas a work of art.