As my wife and I were taking a walk through the neighborhood this morning, I felt like asking her a question. It was one of those questions that I’m pretty sure most men would steer clear of, but I felt strongly about asking it.

The question?

“Do you know that I love you?”

Now, you may be saying to yourself ‘man, I wouldn’t ever go there’. Or perhaps you’re thinking of a response more like ‘are you crazy’?

You have to understand that a day doesn’t go by that we don’t tell each other that we love one another multiple times. So when I asked her the question “do you know that I love you?” I was already certain of her answer.

Except that she didn’t give me the answer I was anticipating. Her answer was short and to the point: sometimes.

SOMETIMES? WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS SOMETIMES?

Like any loving husband whose mind is now instantly filled with all kinds of wild (and insecure) thoughts, for a moment I didn’t know what to think or how to respond to her answer.

After mumbling something or other about how she must be kidding me, she began to explain her answer. Fortunately for me, she did in fact assure me that she knew that I loved her.

But…..

There’s always a but, isn’t there?

After telling me that yes, she did in fact know that I loved her; she went on to say that there are times when it doesn’t seem like I do.

By now all of my senses are on high alert, shields are up, and I’m steadying myself for “The Talk”. You know the talk I’m referring to, don’t you? If not, just ask any husband!

I guess I should explain something here before I proceed. You see, my wife is the kindest, sweetest, and most gentle person I’ve ever known. For all of that, she is also as honest as the day is long. She can be brutally honest, but with a dash of mercy included, if that makes any sense.

Oh, and lest anyone should mistake her gentleness for weakness, you would be making a huge mistake in doing so!!

So she proceeded to explain why she said the word sometimes, and I felt both my jaw and my heart drop. It seems that she used the word sometimes because of my propensity to withdraw into myself.

By my withdrawing into my own little world, she saw it as me withdrawing from her. Now of course, that was never my intention, but I can clearly see why she would think it was.

Lesson learned, and I have something (else) to work on.

This life lesson has caused me to think about our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I wonder if our actions send Him mixed messages as well.

Is this how God feels, that He’s unsure of how we truly feel about Him?

We go to church to worship Him. Or do we? Are we giving Him our all, our undivided attention? Or are we absentmindedly going through the motions while all along our thoughts are a million miles away?

If we aren’t careful our worship becomes stagnant. It becomes nothing more than rote. It becomes a mechanical routine, void of any spontaneity or enthusiasm. It becomes like the old joke where the man tells his wife “I told you I loved you when I married you, isn’t that enough?”

Well, no, it isn’t enough. Any more than it’s enough to let our Savior know that we love him only at Easter and Christmas.

Love is a verb. It requires action and effort on our part. If it isn’t displayed on the outside, it’s not happening on the inside either.

Hey, that’s good stuff right there!

If we withdraw from Him, how is He to know how we feel about Him? Some will say of course that ‘God knows everything and that includes how I feel about Him, so why do I need to do anything else’?

Ask yourself, is that good enough for your wife or husband? Don’t all of us like to hear those words “I Love You”, and to see them backed up by unselfish actions?

I don’t think our Heavenly Father is all that different from us in that regard. After all, we are made in His image.

In these chaotic days in which we now live,the absence of leadership,particularly Godly leadership,is most definitely contributing to the moral demise of our homes, communities,and ultimately our society.

It is a natural human tendency to look for leadership, as we’re taught from our youth that there is a hierarchy,or leadership structure in our homes, schools, and government that we are to follow.

When people lack leadership at any level, they tend to look elsewhere. For the Christian, we look to the Church, or more specifically to our Pastors and leaders in the local church.

Unfortunately, even that is no longer a given, as evidence by the plethora of wannabe leaders looking to make Church a “career”, rather than a lifetime commitment to servant hood.

So what’s a person or family to do who cannot find sound,Godly leadership? If you are a Christian, you look inward,to those in your own home. In other words…sometimes you have to step up and assume the leadership role of your family.

After all, that’s what God called you to do! Yes…you are called to be the servant leader of your home!

The Bible has established a very clear leadership path for our homes and families, which is that the husband is to be the spiritual head of the family. The Apostle Paul gave perhaps the most in-depth explanation of this in his epistle to the Ephesian church.

Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, … Eph. 5: 21-33 ESV

Please note, I am fully aware that many will bristle at the word “submit”. Taken out of context, the word “submit” is a demeaning,humiliating term of subservient obedience. That is NOT however what the Apostle Paul is meaning when he used the word “submit”.

The term “submit” was used to describe relationships peculiar to Christian believers. By digging into the scriptures, we find that the true sense of the word describes the Christian grace of voluntarily yielding one’s preferences to another.

In other words, to “submit” in the Christian sense has nothing whatsoever to do with domination,or forcing one’s will upon another. NOTHING! And for you husbands that think this verse gives you a license to lord over your wives like some kind of ogre, think again. You are supposed to love your wife as much as Christ loved the church, even to the point of giving your own life for her!

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Of course, even the Biblical example of spiritual leadership in the home can present it’s own share of unique problems today. For example,the family structure in America is undergoing a radical shift away from the two parent household. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2016 there were nearly 12 million single parent households, with a staggering 80% of those headed up by single mothers.

Additionally, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.2 million — are being raised without a father! So much for men assuming the traditional spiritual leadership role of the home. How can they, when they aren’t even there? source: https://singlemotherguide.com/single-mother-statistics/

Is it any wonder then that our children’s lives are being wrecked by gangs, drugs, violence and despair? There is no Biblical family structure in so many of these situations, and lacking that many of our children are left to fend for themselves, often becoming easy prey to the streets.

Single mothers are attempting to provide the family structure,income, and spiritual leadership that God intended for BOTH the husband and the wife to provide. This is a HUGE problem! This is NOT what the Lord intended for our families, that they be ripped apart in front of our eyes.

So who’s going to provide this much needed spiritual leadership given that the home is under such an attack? One thing is for certain, and that is that if families are to survive the spiritual onslaught they are being subjected to, and it is indeed a spiritual attack, God has to become the focal point of the home!

Whether the home consists of a husband and wife or a single parent, someone must step up and assume the role of spiritual leader. There can be no other solution. There MUST be a spiritual head in our homes.

There must be that “go to person” that prays for their family. There has to be a clearly defined spiritual leader that can offer Biblical guidance and wisdom to their children. And lest I be misunderstood, whoever is the spiritual head of the home must seek advice,counsel, and wisdom from each member of the family.

This cannot be a one man or one woman show! Spiritual leadership in the home that fails to seek input from others is not true leadership, it is equivalent to being a taskmaster ordering their subjects to obey his or her commands.

OK, you’ve read this very lengthy post. Now what do I do? Here are three simple ways to provide spiritual leadership for your family:

Learn to pray for your family! Every day, the spiritual leader of the home should be taking their families to the throne of God. Ask God to cover your family with His divine protection.

Pray for wisdom. Just as King Solomon prayed and asked the Lord to give him wisdom to rule the people of Israel, so should we be asking the Lord for such wisdom. Parents, especially new parents don’t always know what is best for their families. After all, it’s not like or children come with an instruction manual!

Lead by example! Be the man or woman of God that you have been called to be. Be strong and courageous in the Lord. As David encouraged himself in the Lord, we too should look to Him as our source of encouragement.

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My prayer is that we will assume our rightful position as spiritual leaders in our homes, whether male or female.

It is our only chance to take back what the enemy has stolen from us. Indeed, it is our only hope for a future!

If you spend any time around Evangelical churches I’m sure you’ve heard the above expression. Often when someone will ask “how are you?”, the automatic response is “I’m blessed and highly favored”.

The meaning of this, of course, is that the person believes that God is blessing their life because He has chosen them to receive a special blessing. These days, more often than not, such beliefs center on the financial aspects of one’s life, rather than on spiritual growth or maturity.

Now, to be perfectly honest I do not care for the expression “blessed and highly favored”. This is because it appears to elevate one over another, or to indicate that God, who loves us all the same through Christ, actually prefers one of us over another of His children. A careful study of scripture reveals that we are all the same in Christ (Gal. 3:28).

Now having said all of this, I would like to state that if it were possible for a man to be “blessed and highly favored”, I would be that man. Speaking strictly from a relational viewpoint, I am indeed “blessed and highly favored”. Let me explain.

Less than 48 hours ago I went into the hospital for a procedure, one that I had gone through about seventeen years ago. Only when the procedure had been completed was I made aware of just how serious my condition was, and that my life had just been saved.

Of course, my immediate reaction was one of sincere gratitude to God for sparing my life. This is a very humbling experience, to say the least, and I will not stop giving thanks to Him for such a blessing as this.

However, as a famous announcer used to say, there is more to the story. I understand that God saved my life, and many prayers went up beforehand for the Dr.’s and Staff that would be taking care of me. But there was an Angel who never left me that I want to tell you about.

From the moment I went into the hospital, my precious wife never left my side except for the time I was undergoing the procedure. She stayed with me through it all, even spending the night with me, refusing to leave my side.

What a contrast we must have appeared to be to the Staff at the hospital! Early in the morning while being prepped and all that goers on prior to, I was stationed in a holding area with several other patients. You know the type, the cubicles that are enclosed by a curtain where you can hear everything being said by everyone there!

To my right was a couple that did nothing but complain. The patient complained about how long she had to wait, how long the procedure would take, how long before she could go home, how bad she needed to go to the bathroom. Her husband had apparently came in later than she thought he should have, so she blasted him for being late, reading a book, checking phone messages, you name it!

Yet there was my wife, being the calming influence I so desperately needed. Touching my arm or holding my hand, speaking only words of comfort and encouragement. There are no words to describe what she meant to me at that time.

We waited for three hours for the nurse to come and take me away, and not one time would she leave my side. Tell me, especially you men who happen to be reading this: how often do you hear of such faithfulness?

After I was taken to my room the first person there was my wife, along with my incredible pastor. From that moment on she left me one time for maybe three minutes to use the restroom. I implored her to go home and get some rest, but she was having none of it.

She ate dinner with me, sat as close as she could to me, and let me know how much she loved me. She tried to sleep on the “bed” they brought in for her but she wasn’t able. As I was awake most of the night, she stayed there by my side to comfort me. In a cold, hard chair.

As a matter of fact, the nurses only came in when it was time to do a procedure on me, otherwise they stayed away. I’m sure they realized I was in better hands with my dear wife!

There is no way I could tell you all that she did for me, as sometimes the proper words fail to come, even for a talker like me. All I know is this: I am blessed and highly favored to have her as my wife.

I could never have known that one day over 20 years ago when I first met her, that our love could have grown into what it has become. These aren’t mere words of platitude when I say this, but it is a fact that I do not deserve such a wife as I have been blessed with.

So, while this post hasn’t been especially “religious” or enlightening, I wanted to express to everyone that being “blessed and highly favored” means so much more than the type of car you drive, or how high the limit is on your credit card.

Thousands have no doubt read the book “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian.I cannot say that I am among them,although I have seen the book in my house.I think it was given to my wife some time ago,and I’m not even sure if she has read it!

No matter,for as great as that book may be,I have my own story of the Power of a Praying Wife. A real life story.One that I live every day.

Especially today.

Let me back up just a bit and let you in on what’s been going on in my work life.While most who read my blog know that for the past nearly forty years I have been actively involved in about every facet of ministry there is,I also have a full time secular job with a very large company.

I wear many hats and have a great deal of responsibility,which of course also means I sometimes have a great deal of stress in my life.Like for the past several weeks.

I have been involved in an assignment that has pushed me to the brink on more than a few occasions and the associated stress has affected me in a not so good way.Tired,not pleasant to be around,consumed with a million details.You get the picture I’m sure.

So,what do most men do when faced with the sometimes overwhelming pressures and stress of business?

They push harder of course!

Which gets us what?

More stress of course!

Doesn’t seem to matter if you’re a saint or a sinner,I think men are just wired this way(sorry guys!).

Until you reach the point that you know you can’t do this anymore.

Not this way.

Something has to change.

My work day started at 6:00AM and almost immediately I was faced with a situation that overwhelmed me.And trust me…that doesn’t happen often or easily.

All day it was more of the same,and actually it grew more intense as the day went on.I text-ed my wife that I was downright frustrated,mad,and disgusted with dealing with this situation and that I had had enough.

Enter my praying wife.

Who promptly told me that this was nothing more than an all out attack of the enemy and that I should begin praying right now,because she was praying mightily for the very one who was the source of the stress.

Now I must confess that this was not my first thought.Praying is always good and yes,I am fully aware of the scriptures teachings concerning prayer.After all,I’ve taught others about it for nearly forty years!

So why did I suddenly forget all I knew in the midst of this battle?

Because that’s what the enemy does to us. All of us.He strategically gets our thoughts so consumed with something that we forget that SOMEONE has promised that “greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world”.

The enemy is a joy killer. He is a destroyer of hopes and dreams. He is a thief who will steal even our very souls from us if he can. What he does mostly however is create situations that consume us to the point of getting our eyes off of Jesus,if even for a little while,so that he can tempt and discourage us.

That’s why I am so thankful,so grateful to be married to a praying wife!

The power of MY praying wife cannot be measured and it is a treasure that I am not worthy of.We have been through so much in our life together and we have come through it all because of her unyielding faith in the Lord.She is a precious gift that for reasons yet unknown was sent into the life of a lonely man one day many years ago.To say that I love her does not do her justice.I need her.I depend upon her.She is my right hand.

She reminded me today of a very powerful truth that bears repeating here:there is no new way.The old way works.Get back to it.She was talking about prayer.

It really does work.

Especially when it comes from my praying wife.

By the end of the day the stress was gone and the meeting I had dreaded for so long went wonderfully.My presentation went well and I breathed a huge sigh of relief.It was as if the entire stress charged atmosphere had been changed.

And it had.

Because when you have a praying wife who is in the midst of the fight with you,and you bring the Lord into the battle as well,victory is assured!

Be blessed,

Ron

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