After the Cuddle Party

I brought my boyfriend to his first Cuddle Party. I was in training to be a Cuddle Party leader and the first evening of the training was an actual party for trainers and friends. Though I had attended a couple other cuddle-like experiences at different professional meetings (I’m an intimacy coach and sacred sexuality teacher), I had never brought someone I was dating to a Cuddle Party.

I knew being an attractive man that several of the pretty girls would engage him in cuddling—probably more their idea than his because he’s very shy and inexperienced with women (actually a turn on to me and at the same time a frustration). Sure enough, out of my peripheral vision and between my own cuddling experiences, I stole glances at him. I witnessed my boyfriend in locked attention, gently touching, and holding another woman in his strong arms—actually, he cuddled both of these beautiful women over the course of the evening.

I could only imagine what they were saying as they basked each other in full and tender attention. I saw my lover’s soft yet penetrating gaze, only this time given to someone else. From a distance I witnessed his quiet and confident composure, intent on being deeply connected to each of life’s experiences. I saw the women’s reactions to this Scorpio man, relishing in the strong, safe container of presence and attention he provided, and nourished by the touch of a man with a deep reservoir of feelings and kindness. Yes, I knew what they were feeling. Even from a distance I felt “taken in.”

But I held the trump card. I was the woman who would get to take this man home at the end of the evening. And that I did, royally. Later that night in bed by candlelight, with his cock deep inside me he instinctively moved between stillness and slow penetrating strokes. I looked into his eyes and a strange thing happened. Time stood still. I saw beyond the particulars of our time and space into a new awareness. He became the Divine God of Creation and I, Queen of the Nile. Our ancient dance spanned the Creation of the Cosmos and stretched beyond the yet-to-be-born. In this archetypal union, we became mere players in the primordial pulse of an expanding and contracting Universe. I looked through his eyes directly into the vortex of being.

I reflect with wonder upon our lovemaking that night and how the personal became so much larger. Can witnessing our beloveds loving others spawn a larger view of love? Can we learn things in the company of others that two people behind closed bedroom doors could never achieve? Can we love each with a bigger love that goes beyond our personal dramas and touches the Divine?

Seeing my lover be tenderly appreciated by others offered me an unexpected perspective. Instead of my past judgments about him being somewhat awkward and inexperienced around women, I saw him for the eternally and innately curious, sensual, and sensitive man he is….and who we all are really. In sharing my man, he came back to me richer, fuller, and deeper than ever.