Am I shy or introverted?

Have you ever been labelled as a shy person? If you’re an introvert like me, chances are that you have, more times than you can count. You see, people tend to think that introversion and shyness are the same thing. They most certainly are not, but I can see why people would be confused.

Introversion and shyness can look a lot alike on the outside. They both prevent people from being as outgoing and social as the average extrovert Joe. The difference is that a shy person stays at home because he’s a afraid of socializing. Meanwhile, the introvert avoids socializing because it drains his energy. Do you see the difference?

Let me put it this way: shyness has to do with fear of socializing, whereas introversion has more to do with where you get your energy. Introverts gain energy from being alone, and lose energy when socializing. So, it’s no wonder that we’d want to sneak away and recharge by ourselves.

The confusing thing is that, although introversion and shyness are not the same thing, they do tend to team up frequently. Many introverts are also shy. If you are both shy and introverted, you have a double dose of reasons not to go to the party. You want to protect yourself from embarrassment and rejection, while also preserving your precious energy.

The good news is that you can overcome shyness by building confidence from the inside out. If you need help with this, I have a series of free introvert confidence lessons to help you raise your self-esteem as an introvert.

Introversion, on the other hand, is not something that needs to be cured or fixed. It’s a personality type that is neither inferior nor superior to extroversion. Introverts can be confident, articulate, and charismatic. We just need to do things in a way that suits our unique needs.

In today’s vlog, I talk more about the difference between shyness and introversion, as I take you on a radio interview, and a night out salsa dancing.It’s another sneak peek into my personal life, and how I navigate this world as an introvert.

I hope you can identify with what I share. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and let me know what you think of this new vlogging style, and what you’d like to see more of.

It’s a coincidence… Lately I’m a bit confused with terms too: High Sensitive Person, Introvert and Autism. I’m reading a book about the latter… It states that normal or highly intelligent autists often go through life without ever being diagnosed as such. Due to their intelligence they learn to adapt to the demands of the world quickly as a child: they compensate and camouflage there weakness. It’s a real interesting subject, I think, but still a bit confusing. I had no doubt of being Introverted and HSP, but now I wonder… Could I be a highly adapted autist who learned to use his senses to survive? Fascinating indeed…

Great to see you dance. You often talk about introverts desiring more connection. I think (after a couple years of West Coast Swing lessons) that dance can bring a form of that. To do it at the level you do requires trust and sensitivity. Being open to the lead and secure enough in yourself to add your embellishments onto it. I’m an improvising musician (jazz and blues) and it’s a similar thing with other good musicians. Creating something that is bigger than all of us by connection and awareness. There’s little space for “small talk” in either of these endeavors. It’s dive in with commitment or don’t do it.