Kirk Camerons, far as the eye can see

If Kirk Cameron and Liberty University are going to create thousands of anything from Growing Pains, we’d rather it be an army of Boners.

Liberty University, a college founded by televangelist Jerry Falwell, will team up with Kirk Cameron to continue the 1980s bio-engineering experiment to create more Kirk Camerons.

However, since God frowns on tinkering with his blueprints, they will do it by making a movie about why God lets bad things happen … like letting preachers become wealthy enough to start a school and legitimize their “theories” on homosexuality and gender inequality. (Although we’re surprised that it will take them 90 minutes to explain that it’s “because of the gays.”)

They hope that by helping Cameron make his film, they’ll be able “to create tens of thousands of Kirk Camerons” and unleash them on the world to use their professions to “impact the culture.”

Why so many Kirk Camerons? Because he is the “example of the kind of graduate Liberty is trying to turn out.” Of course, Kirk Cameron did not attend Liberty University or even a real high school … but it’s basically the same thing as a degree from their school, right?