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ted: let's plan a huddle to ideate around that opportunity.
dilbert visually distressed and yelling: gaaa!!! i have jargon poisoning!
ted: i'll send you a calendar invite.
dilbert has fell over and feet are in air.

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the boss: i need you to add a feature to our product because our marketing campaign says we already have it.
dilbert: no problem. what's the feature?
the boss: time travel.
the boss: how long will it take to add that feature?
dilbert: if i'm successful, i'll have it done by last week.

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth.
Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air.
Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans?
Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material.
Asok: So...you invented a tree?
Dilbert: What?
Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth.
Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet.
Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

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Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.