Contact Us

Got questions? Well, we almost certainly do not have answers! We float through the waters of life like capricious nixies, beguiling human men with financial tricks and deceitful advice. Know us by the wet hems of our skirts and our teeth like sharpened fishbones.

Here are some ways to get in touch.

“I just want to tell you how much I love you.”

Darling, we love you too! If you have a couple bucks to spare, please become a patron so that we can keep doing what we do. And if you’re flat broke, that’s okay too. Share some of our articles to help other people find us. That’s all the love we need.

“I have a question about my personal situation!”

Try asking us here. We get a lot of questions, and we can’t answer them all, but there’s a chance we’ll pick yours. (Hint, hint: $5 Patreon donors are guaranteed an answered question!)

“I want to write a guest post for you!”

No. Guest posts are Not A Thing We Do. If you email us asking to do a guests post, we will be sad because it means that you didn’t read this, which probably also means that you didn’t read the intro paragraph at the top of the page, which I worked hard on and thought was pretty funny.

“I want to pay you to share my content!”

No. If your shit is good, we’ll share it on its merits.

“I want to set up an affiliate program with you!”

We are very picky about affiliates. We are not Billy Mays, we are not here with your Hercules Hook. We will only accept if your product is so good we sincerely want to use it ourselves. If you think you might clear that bar, email us. Addresses are below.

“I want to get y’all on my show!”

I mean, we probably want to be on your show. We do live speaking engagements, videos, podcasts, and guest articles. Email us.

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