Monthly Archives: September 2015

“Dean, young lads like you don’t amount to anything, they sponge off the government and are nothing but leeches on society”.

Nice, encouraging words eh?

This was said to me after class when I was 16 years old by my English teacher.

She was an absolute bitch of a woman and about 100 years past retirement age, she smelt like cats and she had a bark on her that could make my balls jump back inside my body. She was a decrepit hag who thought she knew it all and she absolutely hated me. I will say one thing though… She had a point.

I was terrible at English, I could talk for Ireland but when it came to writing it went really downhill. I’m dyslexic and I was pretty bad at stringing sentences together. I hated poems and the old English stuff so I didn’t try. I didn’t do my homework because she always said it wasn’t good enough anyway so I just dossed and wasted my time. She kicked me out or gave me detention most days and then she completely gave up on me. I don’t blame her. At the time when she said those words to me they completely flew over my head, being honest, I didn’t give a fuck. I was 16, arrogant and immature. All I cared about was girls, football, and the lads. School was never ever a priority to me.

But that was nearly 7 years ago.. And out of all the things a teacher has said to me that has definitely struck something in me. At this point in time, I could see where she was coming from, she was taking a stereotypical approach because I came from a broken family and because I did badly in school she assumed I would end up on the dole for life/ a junkie / alcoholic etc with no positive future. That could have easily been the way. There’s been plenty of times where I have acted like a waster but that’s not who I am and there’s much more to my life and my future than that.

I’ve worked full time since I was 18 years old. When I’m at work I work hard. It motivates me because I’m earning money and I’m creating something new. I worked in carpentry and now this year I’ve started working in construction. This year is pushing me to my limits and I’m working harder than I ever have. I work 50-60 hours a week most weeks, which is tough but it’s exactly what I need. Hard work pays off.. And doing something that I love has certainly helped me see that. I want to travel the world and have nice things and do my ADULT life right since I made more than enough mistakes as a teenager. I want to have enough money so that money is never a worry. I have goals for my future and I am working extremely hard in every aspect of my life to achieve them. Not bad for a “leech on society” aye?

Encouragement and support from certain people has helped me enormously along the way. If people tell you something enough times you start to believe it. Don’t put down people’s dreams or abilities, encourage them to go after them.. Encourage them that they have the power to do whatever they want.
If someone told me I was good enough in school I would have tried harder, but I was a ‘bad student’ so therefore that could never change. Don’t encourage the bad cycle.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all work and blood sweat and tears, I do dibble dabble in the good stuff at the weekend and wot not.. So maybe you don’t completely change hahah 😉
But that’s okay because everyone is unique and everyone has a worthwhile life that they can do anything they want with. I just think it’s sad that people on the dole will never know the satisfaction you get from working hard to earn YOUR own money, it’s priceless.

I want to make something of myself and I never ever want to prove my English teacher right.

Never let someone tell you what you can and can’t do with your life.. And don’t let anyone tell you that you will never amount to anything or you’re not good enough because fuck them. They obviously don’t know you so show them how much they don’t know. Everyone has the ability to do great things.

So fuck my English teacher.. I’d love her to read this, because I didn’t grow up to be the mongo that she thought. I might still be a dope and not very good at analysing fucking Shakespeare but who gives a flying fuck about that when I have a good job, I’m making good money, and my English has seriously improved because of THIS blog? I love writing now, and reading ain’t bad either.
Hahah she’d die if she knew that.

So basically, don’t let one persons opinion define who you are. Your past, your parents past etc does NOT define YOUR future. The person you are at 16 is a million times different to the person you are at 22. People change and it can always be for the better. Remember that.

I was on my way to work this morning when I came across this article. It caught my eye so I read through it and I can’t even describe the sick feeling I got in my stomach. It instantly made me angry and so so sad.

The article was basically about this young one Michelle Carter in America who helped her boyfriend commit suicide. She’s been charged with involuntary manslaughter and I really really hope the horrible bitch gets everything she deserves.

There was loads and loads of screenshots of their conversation the night he died and it was so evident that there was doubt in his mind. He was battling depression and was probably going through a very bad time, but he was scared and it could have been prevented. But instead of trying to make him come down and see sense his girlfriend encouraged him to do it and repeatedly made sure he was 100% going to do it. Sick Freak.

She could have told his parents, his friends, the police, anybody at all if she felt she couldn’t handle it on her own but she fucking didn’t and she let the whole thing happen and I really don’t think he would have gone through with it without her constant push. There was one point where he got too afraid and tried to stop (got out of the car he was filling with carbon monoxide) and she ACTUALLY told him to get back in.

WHO in the right mind encourages someone to kill themselves? They are sick minded and deserve to be treated as a murderer.

Not only that but the way she reacted after his death is what makes me really angry. She put posts on Facebook about him fishing for a few pathetic likes and went out with her friends and went to her prom happy as Larry.

Reading this article has left a bad taste in my mouth and I really really feel terrible for that fella and all of his friends and family.

There have been times in my life where I have had suicidal episodes but thanks to the support and understanding and HELP from certain people in my life I got through them and I’m still here today and I’m happy. But IF during those points when I was at my lowest, not thinking properly, sick of everything, depressed beyond words and someone I cared about was telling me to “do it” repeatedly and saying it was the “only thing to do” I would have done it 100%.

The whole thing is completely her fault and being his girlfriend, someone that he LOVED, meant that she had the power to stop him and change his mind. She is a stupid stupid heartless cold bitch. She has absolutely no excuse for what she did, and anybody feeling suicidal CAN be helped.

One day she WILL realise what she did and she can deal with that herself, alone for all I care.

Disgrace of a human being.

If you haven’t read the story yet you can do so here and feel as bad as I did this morning —>