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Author
Topic: Family Disclosure (Read 1693 times)

Well I disclosed to some of my family over the weekend so I thought I'd tell you all about it. My mother died when I was a kid and my father is not a part of my life so I don't have many to tell. But I have my Grandfather who raised me after my mom died and one younger brother so I decided to tell them. I've known for more than 6 months now (how time flies....) and I'm tired of not being able to talk about the things that are going on in my life, such as all the doctor visits and such. So i made a 13 hour road trip because I didn't want to do it on the phone.

It was harder to say the words "I have Hiv" than I thought it would be to them. As I was about to do it I found myself not wanting to scare them into thinking I'm going to die right away or anything. That was what kept running through my head, not wanting to worry them. But I wanted to get it out. So I found myself giving them the it's a Chronic Disease sort of like Diabetes speech. I explained a bit to them about about Viral Load and Tcell numbers, that mine were undetectable and around 400 respectively, and what those numbers mean. And we talked about how I'm on meds and how I just need to stay on top of them and doctor visits and I'll probably die of some other normal random thing. Only time will tell of course, but that is how I ended up explaining it to my family.

It was also important for me to tell my Grandfather because he is 75 and a cancer survivor. He had colon cancer, and went through chemo and everything, but has been free of it for 5 years now. They say that I take after him, so I wanted him to know that he gives me hope because I know he has a strong body and will that helped him overcome his disease. And he knows about being sick, both from a disease and from the treatments for it as well. I think he appreciated the fact that I confided in him about it in that way.

Of course they were both sorry to hear the news. But they both offered their support in any way that they could. That they would take care of me "if it ever comes to that". Hopefully I won't ever have to rely on them for anything, but it's good to know that I can. I'm lucky to have a younger brother like I do, he is a good guy. I feel bad for having to burden them with news like this, but I do feel better that it is out in the open now and I don't have to lie or not tell them about my life. It was hard to do, but I'm glad I did it.

Way to go! It's good (for you) that you were able to disclose, since it was bothering you. If it's one less thing for you to worry about, then that right there is a benefit. It's so easy to practice the disclosure, but damned if it's not hard to do when one's right there, with the family, about to do it. I was in the same situation of not wanting to 'lie' but not wanting to scare my family. My mom was kind of upset that I felt that I couldn't disclose to her, but I really should have known that it would be ok. Generally, I think everybody involved benefits, when the family is understanding, from the honesty of disclosing. It always makes me happy when people are able to disclose something like HIV to their close family. Take care.

That's great Steven. I know how difficult this probably was, but it certainly is a relief. I have stated this before, I'll say it again, I never regretted disclosing to my family. They have always been supportive, and I believe I couldn't have made it this long, without their support.

Disclosing to my parents is something I continue to struggle with. We're not particularly close but I know they do love me and that I'd be inflicting an awful lot of pain if I told them. My mum in particular is going to struggle with this. But I've underestimated her before and I know nothing good ever comes from keeping people in the dark. I will be flying out to see them in August and your story certainly gives further food for thought...

How great this is for you. It encourages me to finally take this step. The words "I'm HIV positive" have been on the tip of my tongue a couple of times, but I chicken out. Next time I will let your experience inspire me to say them.

Thanks for sharing,Woods

Logged

"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it." Nelson Mandela

"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.