There were probably folks who had their hearts set on Alex Ovechkin winning a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Award. I don’t know any of those people, but they probably exist. Probably in Fairfax County. Anyway, those people are all heartbroken right now. Ovechkin has lost the award for Sickest Moves (no, seriously) to soccer star Alex Morgan.

This is okay. Everybody breathe.

Alex Ovechkin’s moves are sick. They are also, I’m told, unbelievable. Obviously. But this award, which is chosen by children, goes to the person with the sickest moves. There can be none sicker. It’s superlative.

Morgan, star of the NWSL’s Portland Thorns and the US Women’s National Team, deserves it. She’s scored 46 goals in international play, won Olympic gold in 2012, and lost the 2011 World Cup in penalty kicks. If she can stay healthy, Morgan may one day surpass Hamm and Wambach as the best American soccer player ever. Morgan means more to her sport– and the 1.6 million young American women playing soccer– than Ovi does to his.

We would like to welcome our new coach in with all the respect and decorum that is owed a Hall-of-Fame player and former Capitals captain — by which we mean, posting videos of him on Nickelodeon’s “GUTS.”

For those of you whose middle school years were not in the mid-nineties, “GUTS” was a low-budget, action-competition show on Nickelodeon featuring kids facing off in a variety of athletic challenges, often assisted by guest stars. Adam Oates appeared on the show in 1994, dressed for action in a salmon sweatshirt tucked into high-waisted jeans.