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The last time the Olympics were in London in 1948 was also the first time an Asian American won a gold medal in the Games. That distinction belongs to 91 year-old Dr. Samuel “Sammy” Lee, who was born in Fresno, CA and is of Korean descent.

It was announced today that the International Olympics Committee has stripped China of a bronze medal from the women’s gymnastics team competition at the 2000 Sydney Games. Team member Dong Fangxiao was 14 at the time, making her two years shy of eligibility–and her individual scores contributed to the overall team score, earning them the medal.

The US team, who placed fourth, will now be awarded the bronze medal. All of Dong’s former teammates will be forced to turn in their medals.

I, for one, am… shocked.

But unfortunately–though she’s hardly the one responsible for fudging her age and competing illegally–she, for one, is scrrreeewwwed. If I were her, I would keep my eyes peeled for any approaching tiny females. Eep!

There really isn’t anything we don’t love about the figure skater, who placed fourth at the Winter Games. We love that she’s from our neck of the woods (SGV, Holla!). We love her face, her crazy-high cheekbones and the way her eyes crinkle when she smiles, which she does a lot. We love how devoted Mirai is to her mama, who’s been battling thyroid cancer. (Of her mother’s prognosis, she’s said, “They say there’s an 80 percent chance of her being cured. But that 20 percent is still something to think about. It’s like getting a B on a test. It’s good but not the best.” We love that, too, OBVS.) And we love that she’s accomplished so much at such a tender age.

Waitaminute. No we don’t.

Because going to your first Olympics, and–despite the naysayers (ahem, Sasha “Bitter Much” Cohen) and the nonstop Queen Yu-Na hype–performing quite beautifully while presenting yourself as the future of figure skating at SIXTEEN when you should be, like, getting wasted on Captain Morgan’s Rum outside a suburban 7-11 or having your thumbs fall off because you’re texting your stupid friends all day long…well, that just makes the rest of us who are much older, much less Olympic, and much more dependent on alcohol look really really baaaaaaaaad.

So maybe there’s one thing we don’t love about Mirai Nagasu. If she were just a little less perfect, she’d be um what’s the word oh right…perfect.

Snowboarder Scotty Lago went on Jimmy Kimmel this week to clear the air about those darned racy photos that got him kicked out of the Vancouver Olympics festivities before the closing ceremony.

Medal groupie!? In the interview, Lago says fellow Olympian Michael Phelps recognized the girl from the photos as someone who once posed as a reporter and tried to make out with him. Read: it was that skank’s fault.

Hunh. Lago’s story smacks of one that some cheesedick would tell in a locker room to all of his pimply-faced buddies, trashing the poor girl he convinced to blow him the night before. “Oh yeah, she was gagging for it!”

In the nail-biter Final of the women’s 3,000-meter speed skate relay last night, the South Korean anchor whizzed across the finish line in gold medal position–with Chinese rivals scowling at their tail, Canada scrambling just behind, and the U.S. over a half-lap away.

Minutes later, South Korea got disqualified for this bump, which happened during the last turn:

Hmm. We’re still searching for the “interesting,” “respectful” and “Southeast Asian” nuances that this team keeps referring to regarding their costumes. Surely all of that “big research” they did to keep the performance authentic paid off somewhere.

“Yasuda, who tips the scales at a slender 60 kg (132 lbs), miscalculated the additional weight lugers are allowed to carry as ballast and failed the compulsory weigh-in after her first run at the Whistler Sliding Centre.

‘During a weight check at the finish of run one the athlete’s additional weight exceeded the maximum allowed which was 13.1 kilos,” race organisers said. “Her actual weight was 13.3 kilos.’”

Athletic disqualifiquasians don’t often shock me, but darn it all–this one does. I mean, an Asian busted for bad math? That’s like, UNTHINKABLE!

But the country’s attention (and the Championships’ official site) seems focused on the enigmatic Mirai Nagasu, who took home an improbable silver in the women’s competition, falling just short of the solid-but-flairless Rachel Flatt.

Name: Mirai Nagasu

Age: 16

Hails from:

Occupation: Student, American figure skater

Known for: Flash and surprises. Though she didn’t fancy herself an Olympic contender and hoped mostly to show her potential for the future, Nagasu competed beautifully in the Spokane, WA figure skating National Championships last week, nabbing a coveted ticket to the Olympic Games. She may not have bested the gold medal winner with numbers, despite a near-flawless final performance, but Nagasu quickly became a people’s favorite and proved one very important point: The future is now.