Ahem. You know, in the future, if you're gonna steal a car, you don't dress like a car thief, man.

Spider-Man

Really? You seriously think I'm a cop? Cop in a skintight red and blue suit, you know, you, you... [webs the thief's face] You got the mind... [webs the car's door shut when the thief tries to open it] ...of a true scholar, sir. [after multiple attempts of opening the door, the thief rolls down the window] Good thinking, good thinking. Use the window, get out the window. [the thief escapes through the open window] There ya go, you got it. Whoa.

Spider-Man

Is that a knife? [falling to his knees in mocking terror] Is that a real knife?

Spider-Man

You found my weakness, it's small knives!

Spider-Man

Anything but knives! [webs the thief's hand with the knife to the wall behind him; gets back to normal] Oh, it's so simple. That was cool, though...

Spider-Man

Webbing that I developed myself, I dont think you really wanna know the details...

Spider-Man

Shhhh... [webs the thief's mouth shut; after a moment, he rushes to the thief and checks for the star tattoo on his wrist, only to discover he does not have it, thus is not Uncle Ben's assassin] This could've got a lot worse. Now hold still...

Spider-Man

Who are you? Are you a cop?

Car thief

Just let me go, alright?

Car thief

Yeah, it's a real knife.

Car thief

C'mon, let me go!! [Spider-Man webs his other hand to the wall] Now get off, man, let me go!