According to Business Insider (and many others), the network has decided to quietly shift its marketing slogan, nixing its absolutely never-even-remotely-true (but still iconic) “Fair & Balanced” moniker – as invented by the late, greatly accused sexual harasser Roger Ailes – to something perhaps slightly less easy to mock, but still adorably untrue: “Most Watched. Most Trusted.”

Upon choosing such a terrifically tepid slogan, Fox executives reportedly then sat back, sipped their laudanum smoothies, and hoped lightning would not strike them dead on the spot for insulting the world’s intelligence, all over again.

As it turns out, the “Most Watched” slogan was far from the only option.

Here at SFGATE, we've received a top-secret memo, hand-delivered to our San Francisco offices by a very tall, stoic, slightly grumpy man in a “I Heart the FBI" T-shirt and calling himself “J-Com.” The leaked memo details upwards of 15 of the potential slogans Fox News executives also considered to replace "Fair & Balanced." Some excellent options, really.

Click the slideshow to reveal the rejected slogans. Contribute your own in the comments.

Mark Morford has been providing hyper-literate, award-winning commentary and cultural criticism to the San Francisco Chronicle and SFGate since 1998, which probably astounds him more than it does you. He’s also one of the Bay Area’s premier yoga instructors, leading classes, workshops and retreats in SF and around the world since 2001. Read his latest stories, follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, or just visit markmorford.com for the whole of it. Email him here.