“Getting pregnant was a result of bad choices, not having boundaries, sexual abuse from the time I was 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13,” the talk show host revealed during the interview. “I had no connection to that baby. I felt nothing but relief because I felt before that baby was born I was going to have to kill myself.”

Winfrey recalled how her mother sent her to live with her father in Nashville. And as he was explaining the strict rules of the household, he said, “I would rather see a daughter of mine floating down the Cumberland River than to bring shame on this family and the indecency of an illegitimate child.”

That’s when Winfrey thought, “Before the baby was born, I’m going to have to kill myself,” adding she did “stupid things like drinking detergent and all that kind of crazy stuff that you do when you’re trying to get attention, when you’re really just trying to cry for help.”

“But this is my 14-year-old self. I don’t even know what I thought the plan was going to be. … You’re having a baby out of wedlock, your life is over. So when the baby died — the baby was never brought home from the hospital — when the baby died, I knew that it was my second chance,” she explained.