Defeating thoughts

I was told that some thoughts I have automatically and are unaware of make me sicker. That there are no feelings without thoughts. Isn’t that the definition of a chemical imbalance? I want to want to do things. I want to get better. Nothing triggered it. My last social worker got it. This one is digging for something. I don’t mind but she isn’t the first person to go digging for it.

I was told that my social worker has never seen someone work so hard to get better. That is because we usually kill ourselves before now. This is a living hell that I am waiting to get out of. I would be long dead if my cat and I didn’t have an unhealthy codependent relationship.