Whatever the gender of a person or their sexual partner is, no one ever has to have any kind of sex or have sex any given way if it doesn’t work for them or it doesn’t feel good, physically, emotionally, or both.

With plenty of life left to live before becoming a mother, Leah Berkenwald finds comfort in her ability to choose abortion if she became pregnant today. Eventually, she’ll have children, but not yet. Not until she’s truly ready.

Anyone, of any gender or any age, may not feel like it is best for them to choose to be sexual in a given situation, even when presented with an opportunity for sex, even when that opportunity is with someone they have a strong desire to have sex with.

Have a partner who wants to step away from sex with you or take a break? If you’re wondering what to do to change that, the only right answer is nothing at all. We need to always respect a person’s sexual limits and boundaries, whatever their gender.

For someone choosing to hold off on sex until marriage, what to do about the fact that most other people, including potential partners, will not have made the same choice? How much should your own sexual ethics and values hinge on those of others?