Every day I talk to another Mom who is sad and overwhelmed thinking about how much her child doesn't like her, much yet respect her. Mom after Mom telling me that her child just won't do what they're asked to do.

They've promised rewards and goodies, threatened consequences and the loss of t.v. time, and everything in between, yet nothing changes. They say their child still doesn't get it. And it is clearly causing a huge disconnect in their relationship.

What I want these Moms to know is that it really isn't about liking or not liking you. (And I say that with love). It's NOT about respecting or disrespecting you - It IS about a very commonly misunderstood IMPACT OF TRAUMA. It IS about not having cause and effect thinking!

The whole idea of...If I do this, then this will happen. NOT THERE

So do reward charts work? Do promises of something new work? Do threats of a punishment or disapproval work? NO. NO. NO.

Now YOU have new clarity about your every day.

A final thought for you...seeing behaviors, words, and choices as the impacts of trauma they are rather than defiant, disrespectful, and lacking in empathy will help you to meet your child right where he/she is at and to stay in it with him for as long as it takes - that's where healing happens.