I’d like to see all cars be painted the colour of money, to there true net worth.
That way I can work out who can afford to park near my helipad and my Formula 1 VIP paddock and which lowlife chancing scrote should have their car towed away and crushed.
The wealthiest car owners will find their cars give off a platinum sheen with an underlying tone of newly minted 500 euros.
Whilst the poorest car owners will find their cars emit a dull hue of dog shite complemented by DSS cheque blue.

How about technology to cover up those beautiful curves when the bitch is out of the garage (like the swirly things on test cars)? This can be switched off when in the garage so only I can see the curvy lines and not the infidels.

An entirely frictionless, light absorbing coating of zero specific mass. Should be fairly easy for the lab coats to knock up and the first decent stab at introducing technology to the crayon box.

As its frictionless Bugatti will buy it to save the billions it was spending on developing the extra 126.724 BHP needed to raise the Veyron speed record 3.1 MPH for its second to last farewell version, before releasing details of the “secret” farewell version, the “really – honestly this is the last” and finally the “even more hurrah’s than a Zonda” special edition.

Its light absorbing properties mean that Speed camera’s wont work, forcing the government to re-think its revenue strategy from the east target silent majority – or motorists as they call them. A significant spin off from this feature would be that Porsche would be able to convince people they had a new 911 design as the paying public wouldn’t be able to see it.

Paint that changes with whatever drive mode is selected. Only because when I’m on business trips and using eco pro to eke out my mileage claim, the car could turn blue and inform everyone I don’t usually pootle about like a pansy…

When the paintwork is scratched or damaged, the material splits and the four-member oxetane rings open to create two reactive ends. With the introduction of UV light chain scission occurs in the chitosan, which cross-links with the reactive ends of the oxetane and thus repairs the molecular network. A small scratch will heal in less than 30 minutes. Sunlight is the ideal trigger, so any time your car needs a re-spray, just take it out for a drive!

Paint that changes colour to indicate the level of twat-like behaviour the driver has displayed over the previous 12 hours or whatever of driving.

Maybe the palest of washout green for the safest/most considerate pilot of an immaculate SAAB – through to deep red for the full-on bellend Audi tailgating/cutting-up helmsmith?

Carroll, great thinking there, can I suggest a two tone paint set up, the top half could reflect the ‘current’ driving behaviour and the bottom half the level of general state of twatiness. From this you could gauge how much you really want to despise them, going from the “oh he’s having an off day” to ‘look there goes a total TWAT!”

You may accuse me of being a dreamer, an incorrigible fantasist even, but wouldn’t it be amazing if a car manufacturer were able to lay down a paint job that didn’t look like it had been done by their mate on a driveway of a council estate?

If I am handing over a goodly proportion of my annual income to Mercedes for one of their beautifully well built cars it would nice to have a paint job which an orange didn’t think was a bit orange peel-y.

How about a product that is dry while driving and wet when stationary, that way when some idiot scrapes up against you in the supermarket / services / shopping centre it wont take long to find out who did it as their car will have a stripe of you’re colour (still wet) all over it & you can send the details to the ins straight away while you finish your coffee.
This may of course mean driving everywhere in old clothes.

A scheme for the McLaren’s where it reflects the truth of what Ron Dennis is saying.

Black – I’ve got nothing to say, but it’ll take me 350 words to say that nothing.
Blue – I’ve not got a clue.
Yellow – I’ve nearly made up my mind
Orange – I know, but I’m not saying yet
Red – This is a total lie and I’ll contradict it within 2 days.
Green – This is the truth (untested option).