Proofs of Love

A few years ago I read “The Happiness Project“, at the time (though I wouldn’t admit it outright), I was at a very unhappy stage in my life. I felt trapped in an unhealthy relationship that made me feel isolated from my friends and family. I was lonely. As I read Gretchen Rubin’s account of her own year attempting to be happier and healthier one specific concept stuck out in my mind-“proofs of love”. This post is less about Gretchen’s search for happiness (though I do recommend the book) and more about a specific niche. Gretchen emphasized “there is no love, there are only proofs of love” and the line resonated with me for months (and clearly years) to come. The truth is, to an outside perspective, there really isn’t anything other than proofs of love. No matter how much we may feel for someone in our hearts it doesn’t matter unless we manifest it.

I can honestly say I love my little brother Dylan more than I love most of the people in the world (including my friends, including most of my family). My eight year old brother holds a part of my heart that has been untouched by any other. Maybe it’s our large age gap, maybe it’s my instinct to protect him, maybe it’s his huge brown eyes and unfairly long eyelashes, whatever the cause I know I love him. My little brother lives in California though. I only see him every month or so and even then our visits aren’t too extensive. Sometimes I pick him up from school, help him with his homework, take him to ice cream or to the park. When we’re not together I think about him often, I even talk about him to Jordan but do I show proofs of love? Not really.

My little brother lives in another state so showing proofs of love on a daily basis can be difficult (especially since he doesn’t have a cellphone and I’m a little bit lazy). I have to call my Dad to talk to my brother, or write him letters, or send care packages. I should do it more (note to self: send little brother a Valentine’s Day gift). Yet, so many of us (myself included) forget to show proofs of love to the people we see on a daily basis. Wrapped up in the whirlwind that is life we forget to say “I appreciate you”, to give a “just because” gift or a handwritten card with a simple reminder that we do care.

With Valentine’s day approaching this time of year reminds us to focus on proofs of love. Rather than showing Jordan, my family, my friends and my little brother that I love them on Valentine’s Day, their birthdays and Christmas, I want to work to be the person who shows her family she loves them all year long. As we all know, love doesn’t just come in heart shaped boxes filled with chocolates, with spontaneous bouquets of flowers or even scrawled in pink le pen on custom stationary; love is both all of those tokens and none of them.

For the month of February I’m challenging myself to show more proofs of love, to show a proof of love (no matter how small) every day. It is my hope that by the end of the month these small habits like calling my Mom just to talk, sending letters for no reason, and reaching out with a simple “I think you’re wonderful” on Facebook will be engrained into my habits just a bit more.

How do you strive to show those you love that you care? Do you ever need to remind yourself to demonstrate your love a little more?

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I actually put it in my vows that I would try to show more affection to my husband. I come from a family that didn’t show as much affection, but it’s something I try to do. I need to remind myself constantly, because I tend to assume people know how much I care about them. Doing little things to show love is an excellent goal.

first, these pictures are absolutely stunning. but aside from that i couldn’t agree with this post more. i need words of affection and affirmation and I need them often. we all need to have that to feel good.

Great question! I show my husband love the obvious way (lots of affection), but also try to make his life a little bit easier one way or the other during the day. Perhaps I do a chore he typically does, or let him sit while I bathe the kids, it becomes the little things after a while that add up! I show my kids love by being there, every single day, and by making sure they get individual attention as much as I can.

This seriously hit me; our situations are quite similar. My sister is 9 and she lives in California with my parents. I love her more than anything in the world, but it can be so hard to show from a few states away. I feel terrible whenever I realize that she’s growing up without feeling that love every day. I really like the idea of sending regular care packages; I’ll have to start doing that!

It’s so nice to hear talk about showing love thru small ways and not material stuff. It can be so much more meaningful to have a great conversation with a family member or friend, than any gift. THanks for sharing this post. You have motivated me to show more love to those that I value the most.

“Proofs of love” is a great way to put it! I am also one of those people that firmly believe actions speak louder than words so I couldn’t agree with this more ! Also, your pictures are stunning! Great post :)

First of all, you look stunning in this post and the dress is gorgeous. Second, I love how deep your posts are. I’m not an affectionate person myself and always assume that people just “know” that I love them. After reading your post, I’m definitely going to make it a goal to let people know more often.

What a great post :) Gifts is tied for first when it comes to my love language, so while I make an effort to bring my roommate home her favorite Ben & Jerry’s or my best friend a cupcake after a hard midterm (okay maybe “sweet treats” is more my love language…) I do need to work hard on showing proofs of love in other ways as well… remembering to say it, for one thing, but also taking the trash out or giving a friend a tight hug, stuff like that!

My two best friends live states away from me & this post has inspired me to send them Valentine’s Day cards to let them know as always, I’m thinking about them and love ’em. (Btw, gorgeous maxi!) x Nicole | http://www.changeanddress.com

I love that you have such a special relationship with your little brother!! My little sister ((11 years age difference)) and I are basically the same person and she holds a special place in my heart as well

This is such a beautiful post.. you’re right, love is doing all of these things and none of these things.. the bouquets of flowers and the showing how much you love them every day. I’m taking this to heart this year. Thanks for the inspiration, Jordyn <3

This is such a great post. A little goes a long way and your brother will never forget the kindness and love you’ve shown towards him! I’m in the same boat as you with younger siblings; my little sister is 14 and I don’t really talk to her while I’m away at school but I am going to change that!