(Closed) I just got this email… how to reply?

A local family friend just sent me this email asking about her 2 year old daughter and if she can bring her. (I only put her and her husband on the envelope) (Because of budget, I didn’t invite any children unless they are closely related).

“I am getting ready to RSVP to your wedding and was wondering if it’s a kid included wedding? I just want to make sure I RSVP for the right amount of people. I have been to some kid free weddings and wanted to make sure you must be getting so excited, can’t wait to celebrate with you!”

How to I reply? I am so bad at saying no and dont want to be rude but I really want to limit the amount of young kids there (because of cost and distractions).

It sounds like the person just wants to know what you prefer, She doesn’t seem pushy at all. I suggest something like the following:

Sue Ellen,

I am so happy to hear that you got our invitation! We’re very excited, it’s just around the corner now. Due to the time/location/whatever of the wedding, we’re not planning on having any children there. Thank you so much for checking with us. I would have hated for little Susy to have been bored all night. If you are still able to attend, let me know if you need any help finding a sitter.

I would love to fid a time to see you and Suzy before/after the wedding. I can’t believe she is two already. Let me know if there is an afternoon that works for you and I can stop by for a visit.

@engleman10513: I’ve been to weddings where close relatives’ kids were invited but others weren’t. I’d write something like this:

“Hi Sue. We aren’t inviting children except for very close relatives. Unfortunately it’s just not practical to invite everyone’s children. I hope that’s ok and that you and Steve can still be there. Love, Engleman10513”.

+1 to the PP’s. Sounds like she’s coming either way and really is just confirming. I wouldn’t apologize or make excuses. “Hi Family Friend, we’re so excited that you’re coming. It’s a semi-kid free wedding, with the exception of our nieces and nephews.” (Or whoever the kids are.) I’d probably avoid using the word “closely” if you can, since it might imply unintentionally that she’s not close.

We’re having a kid-free wedding and all the mom’s are excited to be able to get dressed up and have a night out, so don’t assume it’s a negative thing. 🙂

@engleman10513: I had this exact situation. I had my niece, nephew, 2 younger cousins, and my god sisters daughter because she recently lost her son and I couldn’t imagine asking her to leave her child with a sitter since I’m sure she’s still shaken up. I politely told my friends who asked that I’m only including a handful of close kids and that we are just nearing our budget. Everyone was so understanding!