Now, San Francisco’s Muni trains have never seemed to us to be beacons of safety[1], civility[2], law[3] and order[4], but we heard a story today that unnerved us more than most.

A 32-year-old Berkeley resident suspects that a fellow Muni rider followed her off the bus and … wait for it … stole her teeth[5].

Elena Aronson said she was commuting to work on a Muni bus back in April when a man sitting next to her proclaimed that he wanted her teeth, and proceeded to lavish compliments upon them.

Justifiably sketched out, Aronson decided to get off the bus. The next thing she remembers is being outside the bus, bleeding profusely from her lip with her two top front teeth missing.

She was then hospitalized and has since gotten replacement teeth. Aronson’s memory of the incident is fuzzy, and no witnesses have come forward to police about the incident. In the meantime, all we have to go off is a police sketch to avoid and apprehend the man who the Chronicle affectionately christens the “Tooth bandit.”