Tuesday, November 07, 2006

WFHL

As I've said for years now, if there was a legitimate competitive league for floor hockey (FH), I would be in it. I would have at least made it to the WHL. For years I've been dominating floor hockey all over Saskatchewan. I know this post is a little on the late side, but I don't care. I simply need to express how awesome I am at floor hockey.

Now, I would first like to say that in no way am I good at real ice-hockey. Not that I don't have the skills to be successful, only that I suck hard at skating. If I could skate well, I would tear ice-hockey up.

Now back to FH. I have been inactive from FH for approximately 3 years now. I used to play 2-3 times a week when I lived in the "Sunshine Capital" but I no longer live in the "Sunshine Capital" and no longer work an accomodating schedule. To appreciate my former FH prowess, come with me on a journey filled with excitement and intrigue...

While playing FH in the "Sunshine Capital", 2FNLO and I came to a mutual hatred of "Leafs Goalie". He would come to FH inconsistenly then play goal (2FNLO's position) poorly. One day he thought it might be a good idea to oust 2FNLO from his coveted goaltender position. I told 2FNLO that I would score on Leafs Goalie so many times that he would become so embarrassed he would leave the gym therefore opening a spot for 2FNLO to play goalie. In a matter of 30 minutes I scored on Leafs Goalie so many times that he smashed his goalie stick into the floor of the gym, shattering it upon contact, then storming off NEVER TO BE SEEN AT FH AGAIN. 2FNLO will verify this story.

Recently, I had another chance to prove how amazing at FH I am. A group of guys were getting together to play FH one night and I began hyping myself up to Burnsy. I claimed that I was awesome at FH and that I would dominate. Burnsy was incredulous seeing as I blow at ice hockey due to my ineptitude at skating. I ensured Burnsy that I was awesome.

That night I scored 12 goals. Not to mention assists or shootout goals (of which I was the only player there to make good on both my attempts). I absolutely TROUNCED any competition in both the goals and the points columns. I dominated.

It is too hard not to comment, I can't stop myself. So here it goes, I used to work with Lbomb, and was able to watch his FH prowess in action. While at varied sports with our group, Lbomb's team was dominating, and so he switched teams and thus led the girls to a come from behind (and by behind I mean about 10 goals) victory almost singlehandedly. Now, i'm not one to toot Lbomb's horn as his ego is often swollen beyond it's natural state anyways, but dude is awesome at FH. Respect.

This guy is all talk. Like he said use to. Now he's an old crippled washed up has been. Lbomb you can't play with the big dogs anymore and that's why you quit. You're a quitter and that's all that needs to be said. If you want to prove yourself well bring it on old man. Pull up your panties and tighten your shoes where going to have a tournament to see who's the man. Ya 2fn lo you are right about Lbomb he is the Mario Lemieux of floor hockey. Ya he's a damn cripple. Have a good day.LOL

One more comment though, Lbomb is very good at FH, I'll give him that, but I'm not sure whether I've seen a bigger puck (ball?) hog in the history of FH. That being said, when you're good then take the freakin puck and put it in the net.

You better make sure to bring your walker with you because I wouldn't want you to fall and get hurt after I run around you 10 or 20 times. Ya I'll pick a date and it will be soon. So I will keep you posted. You get your team and I will get mine. We'll have it ready at least by December. I will keep you posted and that's why I'm anonymous.

You'll keep me posted and that's why you're anonymous? What? You're anonymous because you'll keep me posted? At fist I was offended when you called me 'old man' but now I realize that to an 8 year old, 25 WOULD seem ancient. Good luck on making your lunch tomorrow.