Wait, wait, come back. And stop being so impressionistic. Will you stay if I tell you a story? Ahem...

Once upon a time, your very own YetiStomper wanted to learn to be an author. He would read books and think to himself - "surely I could write a better story than this." He even started a book blog to help him understand why some books worked and others didn't. One day, he read a novel by Daryl Gregory entitled Pandemonium.

The YetiStomper closed the book and set it aside. He was quiet for a while. Then he furrowed his brow and set to work. He would create a mutant clone combining the DNA of Neil Gaiman, Ursula K. Le Guin, George R. R. Martin, and Stephen King. After five minutes of furious calculations, he deduced he didn't have any of the requisite genetic information, access to state of the art laboratory facilities, or the years of training in the biological or irate sciences.

The next stop on his journey of despair was the side table next to his couch. There, he fondled the lamp long and hard enough to damage it irreversibly, both emotionally and physically. But no genie would appear. He had used his last wish to fix Twitter the one time it didn't work. Science had failed him. The magic was gone. He sighed. For he knew in his furry little albino heart that there was no f***ing way he could ever write a book that good. Ever.

And thus his soul was crushed.

And that my friends, is the story of how Daryl Gregory destroyed all my hope of ever becoming a writer.

Or I may be taking up space because I only know three things about Raising Stony Mayhall.

1. "It's definitely not a zombie novel. It may, however, be an anti-zombie-novel zombie novel." - Whatever that means...2. I want to read it.3. It's got a pretty cool cover.

Look for a real explanation when I have a synopsis or a better idea what is going on here. In the meantime, do yourself a favor and check out Pandemonium and The Devil's Alphabet, two of my favorite books of the past three years.