Thursday, July 13, 2017

Full disclosure: I one-hundred percent chose Anarchy Parlor because of Robert LaSardo. I might be the only Nip/Tuck fan in the room here, but come on, it's Escobar, guys! I'm definitely more excited than I should be.

So, onto Anarchy Parlor, which is about a group of twenty-somethings traveling throughout Europe and making a stop in Lithuania. One of them (Brock, naturally) is wearing a shirt that says "Swag All Day" so you know he's going to be the first to die. The trouble begins when Amy (Tiffany DeMarco) takes off with Brock and his love interest Uta (Sara Fabel) to go get a tattoo by the famous "Artist." Now I love tattoos and random adventures, but even I would shy away from going to some random tattoo parlor in Lithuania in the middle of the night.

But of course, they're not at a regular tattoo parlor, this is Ink Master: Hostel Edition. The Artist is oddly obsessed with Amy, even though he seems to resent both tourists and Americans. Although everyone in this movie continues to scream "fuck you," "why" and "you're sick," the Artist and Uta are unfazed. And there are many more screams to come.

This was the directorial debut of Devon Downs and Kenny Gage, who also wrote the script, and it was actually filmed in Lithuania. Fuck yeah, authenticity! Also, the woman who plays Uta is LEGIT. She's a Finnish model and tattoo artist who lives in California -- badass and smokin hot to boot. I actually liked this movie, according to IMDB, that's an unpopular opinion, but screw that. If you want sex, gore, and tattoos, while not taking any of it too seriously, this is your movie.