A woman who is trying to rediscover what brings her joy, reflecting on how it got lost in the first place, and trying to awaken happiness in all the right places.
Life through the beautiful brown eyes of a woman, writer, mother, an artist, a friend, a Christian, and all that life entails. Life as a modern woman is no dress rehearsal - so dig in and experience all life has to offer.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

She's not so little...anymore

I have managed to not blog for nearly 6 months. The admittedly long silence was an opportunity to reconnect to why I enjoy writing at all. (Escapism 101.) For at least a season I had lost the fun of random thoughts made live - in exchange for a hot political debate that was getting more and more fierce each day. I was sick of it really - I had settled into my belief that real life was more relevant than the political jab of the day, and there were times it didn't matter who voted what at all. After all - at one of the most historic times in my lifetime, there were days when I just resigned myself to the nasty comments and race bating that would fill my inbox and my comment section. Today's reality is much more fun than the status of the economic stimulus plan (or Michelle's choice to go sleeveless) - my little one is 9 years old, and I think she still loves me.

So, I have a 103 temperature - which is why I have the luxury of blogging at all. I have been told that I basically can't do anything and forced to stay in bed for at least 3 days. The Doctor asked me if it would help if she wrote me a sick memo until Wednesday - and I responded that I was self-employed. With the saddest look I've seen on a medical employee as of late - she just shook her head and said she was sorry. Try to stay in bed for 3 full days she said, and don't go out on Monday. Yeah, right!

Even with little energy the last thing anyone wants to be told is an extensive short list of what not to do. I mean really - I'm fine. (Well, in about 15 minute intervals I'm just fine.) I was pleasantly surprised when Little Miss had pity on me today and spent the beginning of her morning curled up with her mom. She's been exposed to all kinds of flu germs, and we've updated her profile on New Moon, laughed about a really bad teacher she used to have, and debated what videos are of interest for her profile. (We opted for a very short cheerleading clip.) It was nice to be reminded when hormones aren't raging that she is just a much bigger version of the young lady that used to make me smile 24 hours a day.

Nowadays there is a regular debate about school work, clothing choices, study habits and puberty - followed by an obligatory check that she's isn't ready to elope or anything. The conversations that I overhear at school about who likes who is enough to make me recheck how fast young people grow up - but I do remember my first crush. (and yes, it was in 4th grade.) Armed with all of this traditional frustration - she caught me completely off guard today. For more than an hour she just cuddled up and reminded me of a time when it seemed as if nothing else in the world mattered. I was reminded about why I love being a parent, but more specifically why I love being her mom. She's funny, thoughtful, has a wonderful vocabulary, and goofiness is at her core. My beautiful little bean pie isn't so little any more - but what a blessing to be reminded of her essence.

Leave it to me though, I could relate this all to politics again. It's a bit funny to watch people debate over Michelle's arms when I laugh to myself - we have a Black first lady. It doesn't capture all that she is, but it is indeed reflective of who she is. Every time I see a reporter gush over the first family, I think to myself - I've got a really great first family all my own. And while America looks at the first family as some oddity of all the right forces converging at once - they look to me to be ordinary at times. And maybe because I can see them as ordinary, it leaves room for them to be extraordinary as they so often are.

Just like my LydiBean, who opted to be extraordinary and normal, all at the same time today.