07 July 2009

Three Wishes

1. When I woke up, I said to myself (via Facebook), I wish "that there was a Tastykake truck that delivered a couple Tastyclairs and creme-filled coffeecakes to my front door a couple times a week." Kirbee Krimpet responded within moments, "Brian, I am sorry that we are unable to deliver via truck to your house. However Tastykake.com does do door-to-door service! Stay Fresh." 2. When I turned on the computer, I said to myself (via the inner voices) that I hope that South Carolina serial killer is a recent parolee so all those whining about a state rep's proposal to end parole for repeat offenders would have their whines exposed as knee-jerk woe-are-criminals liberalism. Well, suspect/career criminal Patrick Burris answered, having just been paroled two months before he killed five Palmetto State people. Yet, something tells me they'll try to explain away the murder of a 15-year-old as evidence that parole must be available for career criminals.3. When I went to a sports website and saw a headline reading, "Former figure skating champ charged in meth bust," I said to myself (via monkish chanting) no fewer than 10 times, "please let it be Brian Boitano" for no good reason other than the answer to "What would Brian Boitano do?" would, henceforth, be, "Meth. Lots and lots of meth." Alas, it wasn't.