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1. Any clashing elements should be eliminated. Some slurs touch the notes, etc...2. If you're unclear about the pedal, just let it be. Are you sure you want pedal in the half of bar 1 and then at bar 4 only? I bet most pianists would use a bit of sustain pedalling around the places of the big gaps (to bridge the space that is), and perhaps in other places as well.3. The dynamics go between the two staves, not above (the dim. sign in bar 4). 4. The tempo markings and alterations always go above the two staves.5. A dynamic marking at the end of a bar is a bit weird (the last p on bar 12). It's difficult to say exactly when it applies.6. There appears to be missing a slur in the final bars. How you want these 16ths played?7. But even more, there's a staccato dot in hand the last bars, but not all. Is this intentional or not?8. Finally. The doppio movimento. Ok, I get what you mean and it makes sense, but somehow I think that 32nds would be a better choice. They would surely panic the pianist and righfully so. Right now you're cheating the eye a bit like this...

hope these comments help a bit.

Nikolas

Wow, this is great advice. I am a total newbie and I appreciate it a lot.

I feel as if I am not educated enough to be composing on (virtual) paper...

The recording is from a midi file. I don't have the time to study the work to a decent enough level, so this is what you get in this case... I have edited the midi file and added a better sound, but still it's too mechanical.

The work itself was composed around 17 years ago... It's one of my first complete works. This is (perhaps) why it's simple. And it also feels stolen in a way, since the main melody is very close to plenty of other works... Anyhow...

Rune: I have always wanted to play stuff like your waltz but I think a certain amount of conventional jazz background is necessary. I like several of your chord changes very much. For some odd reason they remind me of Brubeck, but that might just be because his is among the little jazz I have heard in any depth. Either way, your piece is very polished and captures its particular sentiment very well indeed.

Nikolas: What struck me about your piece was a reminder of just how effective silences can be, such as those near your conclusion. I suppose most of us are so busy filling time with sound that we tend to forget that no sound at all, even just a small rest, is also a creative element, an option, with meaning and implication. I found your piece attractive, with a peculiarly sinister quality I cannot quite put my finger on.

Edited by Ted (01/07/1305:43 PM)

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"It is inadvisable to decline a dinner invitation from a plump woman." - Fred Hollows

First of all, thanks for sharing Becca. Yes, you're a beginner in composition, but sharing and being open means the world to everyone! Your hand writing is clear enough, but also shows very clearly your lack of experience in writing music!

The piece has structure, which is great in itself. It's very simple and you didn't even change the left hand, but despite that it's a very nice effort!

Nikolas,I think your Etude is joyful and exciting. Wondering if it is supposed to remain as a piano piece? I feel that it would be suitable for brass instruments.Becca, Nikolas and Ted. Glad you like my piece. Thanks for your kind comments! Much appreciated.Joel, I can not comment on your composition as I don’t read music (yet !)Nikolas, Never heard of Claude Bolling but I found some of his work at YouTube. Thanks for the heads up!A ballad by McCoy Tyner was the inspiration source for my piece. Theme for NanaJoel, I would love to add drums to my recording but I find it difficult to get satisfactory results when working with jazz music. I will give it a try.Hmm.. “Chick” is a good expression for a hi hat sound. I will remember that. Prior to the digital sampling era, I used to simulate hi hat sounds on recordings by whispering “sicketisicketisicketi :-)

Your etude was great. Nice dramatic development of your idea. The idea does sound familiar, but where you take it is not familiar at all. Thanks to Ted for the reminder about the importance of silence.

Checking in late, as usual. RUNE: That is a very (VERY) nice jazz waltz, with the most engaging progressions! It has a definite West Coast flavor, and I can understand how this took some time to complete. The control of those harmonies does not happen overnight.

The score itself (the written page) needs help, but I believe the changes will be fairly easy –[1] Change every single A# to a Bb. (That should make ‘Becca happy.)[2] Change all G#s to Abs, EXCEPT in measures 12 & 13.[3] Change all D#s to Ebs, EXCEPT in measure 5.[4] Change ALL those ridiculous E#s (measures 21 & 22, and anywhere else they might occur) to F-naturals.

That should make it much more readable. There are certain other “interpretative liberties” taken between the score and the recording, but since it is jazz, all is forgiven!

Very enjoyable piece! I (and I am sure others here) look forward to hearing more of your stuff.Ed

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In music, everything one does correctly helps everything else.

Etude is brilliant! It is like a Master Class in the development of accompanying figures. I love the rhythmic drive, and how the left hand evolves almost “organically”, and then somehow returns to its original state. However, as a true “Etude” – a learning piece for students - I believe this should come with a WARNING . “A guy could hurt himself attempting this piece. Use only under the supervision of a Doctor. DO NOT try this at home!”

Makes me want to learn to play the piano . . .Ed

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In music, everything one does correctly helps everything else.

Your etude was great. Nice dramatic development of your idea. The idea does sound familiar, but where you take it is not familiar at all.

Yup, Steve,

"The Teddy Bears' Picnic" -- "If you go out in the woods today, you're in for a big surprise . . ."Compound meter, and the first chord change is up a minor third. And, as you mention, that is where the similarity ends.

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In music, everything one does correctly helps everything else.

First of all I do agree with everything you mention about rune's score. And I just hope that he will be interested in bettering himself and bringing us the scores of his lovely music! I know that my students would care for such scores!

now, on my little etude.

Yes I'd dare to say that there are a few elements in there that sound familiar, the very first being that small pattern itself. It's very "Duka" like, but of course the harmony takes it to different places. But I'd like if I was to say that the other patterns developing are my own exactly. Exactly like the first pattern they seem to emerge from other composers works (notably Mussorgsky's night on the bald (?) mountain and Williams Star War scores... *ahem*).

Still I think it's catchy enough to make a student study hard to pull it off. And it can be tricky. Of course for my own hands it's rather easy to perform (octaves and chords come natural to me), but I very much see the point in such an etude!

Checking in late, as usual. RUNE: That is a very (VERY) nice jazz waltz, with the most engaging progressions! It has a definite West Coast flavor, and I can understand how this took some time to complete. The control of those harmonies does not happen overnight.

The score itself (the written page) needs help, but I believe the changes will be fairly easy –[1] Change every single A# to a Bb. (That should make ‘Becca happy.)[2] Change all G#s to Abs, EXCEPT in measures 12 & 13.[3] Change all D#s to Ebs, EXCEPT in measure 5.[4] Change ALL those ridiculous E#s (measures 21 & 22, and anywhere else they might occur) to F-naturals.

That should make it much more readable. There are certain other “interpretative liberties” taken between the score and the recording, but since it is jazz, all is forgiven!

Very enjoyable piece! I (and I am sure others here) look forward to hearing more of your stuff.Ed

Ed and Nikolas,Thanks a lot for the encouraging comments. Guess it shines through that I have listened a lot to west coast fusion jazz over the years Ed, I want to sincerely thank you for the time and effort you put into the score. I will make the changes as you suggested. Hopefully I will be able to produce readable scores of my own in a near future.

Although my trial period with Sibelius has expired (which means that no changes can be saved), I think it should work to make screen dumps and then save the score as a jpeg file.Not sure yet whether i will keep the Sibelius program. The access to 32GB of sound files are tempting but I will take a close look at the MuseScore program before making any decisionsI´ll be back with an edited score. Thanks again for your kind support!

I feel that my focusing on technicalities in the score is taking something away from a very nicely done piece here, and I would not want that to happen at all! The new version is much more readable, with still a couple of A#s and G#s lingering in the bass clef. (the G#s in measures 12 & 13 are fine just the way they are.) It appears that a B# has found its way into measure 22, or I may have missed it the first time through. Either way, that should be changed to a C natural.

I would welcome Steve, Nikolas’ and others’ thoughts on the following: It seems to me that the software that is constructing the printed page from your sound file is working against you here. These programs have a certain amount of intelligence built into them that deals with key signatures and chords. However, once a composer ventures outside the realm of fairly standard harmonic progressions, the software’s limited “brain” cannot reconcile the clusters, or the voice leading, and therefore takes a guess. If I have it wrong, Gentlemen, please say so.

Ed

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In music, everything one does correctly helps everything else.

Well I'm late. I spent all last night trying to figure out the software. This is a piece I wrote for my son. He can do Ana Magdalena Bach so I figure this is approximately slightly more challenging? Maybe, who knows.

In any case both are quite nice. The waltz starts of as... not a valse and then the valse movement is quite loose. And those triplets are not needed, since they are in the same tempo and beat as the 3/4, so it's fine without the number 3.

The other work is simple very nice. And should work well with someone going in the Anna Magdalena book.

The hemiola is fine as it is written, without the numbers. The number 3 indicates that you need to play 3 8ths in the time of 2. So you're actually requesting the triplets to be played faster, and your right hand doesn't fit the whole bar, but only 2 beats out of three. If you just delete the numbers it's fine as it is.

I DID receive your eMails, and wish to publicly thank you for the effort in getting this old stuff into digital formats that can be displayed and decoded here.

NOT Piano - sorry. This is the first Movement of a string quartet I wrote 30 years ago. I shall refrain from comment, except to mention that if the listener is not accustomed to somewhat modern string works, s/he will enjoy this more on the second, third, and subsequent listenings, as the melodies come more into focus.

It's my turn now to thank Ed publicly. He's done so much for me (just considering the scores that are going from the US to Greece... ).

Despite some of his difficulties with technology he's managed to do everything, even if it involved sending me a physical CD! I can only say thank you for going in all this trouble, Ed! Listening to your quartet (and checking out your hand written score) makes it all worthy. At least for me and I'm guessing for the rest of us.

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Now, onto your work.

First of all, performance wise, I get a feeling that they kinda lost it around 2:10 or so... But very quickly found it.

The rest of the performance works very well, and they seem well sync together (although I get a tiny feeling that they must've been connected a little while. It doesn't sound like a quartet with members who've been together for decades... Let me know...). And, btw, what quartet is it?

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The score has some interesting parts (for example the mention of tutti around the middle, or the lack of general bowing directions (which is in your favour, actually...). But if I was to correct anything, that'd just be to connect the inner barlines, cause it makes it confusing.

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But the music... oh the music is SO interesting!

For me, who am accustomed to some dissonance and more 'modern' works I'd say that this is a wonderful example sitting right in the middle: It's modal, but yet not treated this way fully. It's got its share of dissonance, but doesn't carry a load doing that. It's got movement, action, drama.

I say that this is a fine quartet!

I'd be very curious to see what the other movements were like. I'm guessing that there would be a strong contradiction in the second movement, but I can't be sure...

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In any case,thank you for offering your score and for keeping alive this thread.

And, as is show, there's no limit in instrumentation (piano only), date composed (30 years ago), or anything else. Anything will go and we're enjoying and celebrating creativity in monthly doses!

Wow! I am so glad I visited the Composer's Lounge. I really enjoyed all the pieces. I look forward to listening and trying (and possibly sharing) more pieces in the months ahead. Being new to piano, I really appreciated BeccaBb work. It is an inspiration for me to think about music differently, and to come up with my own permutation of notes.

I believe it is never good form to justify shortcomings in one’s work, but I would like to comment upon the players who tackled this. Obviously it was not the Manhattan String Quartet, nor the Julliard, nor the Emerson, nor the Kronos, and not even the Ying. While it was a “standing quartet” that played frequently, not one of the members was a full-time string player. As their “real” jobs, one was the conductor of a pops orchestra, one a college professor, one a string instrument MAKER, and the fourth was a PIANO tuner and technician working with a regional Symphony.

Sadly for me ( but very fortunate for the concert-going community! ), my Quartet was never “performed”, lacking the third and final Movement. But I hired this quartet to rehearse and record only Movement I -- long story! The players took their parts and worked on them individually (which Nikolas, Steve, Exhaulted, and several others here can attest is only a smallportion of putting things together.)

Recording studio time was VERY EXPENSIVE (and still is!), so we cut a few corners there. As I recall, we rehearsed for slightly longer that 5 hours, breaking only for pizza and soda, and then did a couple of tapings. Make no mistake - these players were REAL MUSICIANS! Instead of a measure number, I could say, “ Let’s take it from where the ‘cello enters tuppa-tuppa-tup--tuppa-ti-pi. One-and-two-and . . . ” - everyone would be “right there”! This was the best recording that came out of the session. Minor timing, rhythmic, and intonation issues aside, I felt, and still feel, that the recording represents my original vision of the music.

As you guessed, Nikolas, Movement II is much more homophonic, with long, flowing lines, and a strong contrast to the first Movement.

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In music, everything one does correctly helps everything else.

I recorded my live performance of Black Hills at Songmakers (a Southern California music group). It has a jazzy feel to it. I only had the first phrase in mind before starting, so some would characterize it as an improvisation. It is all on the five black keys.