Inkheart stars Brendan Fraser and Andy Serkis and appears involve a villain who escapes from a book into reality – kinda like Last Action Hero for fancypants nerds who like words (and eat turds. and watch birds. and travel in herds).

The book is about a girl named Meggie Folchart whose life changes dramatically when she realizes that her father, a bookbinder named Mortimer (nicknamed Mo), has an unusual ability: when he reads aloud, he can bring characters from books into the real world. [Wiki]

Directed by Iain Softley, from a David Lindsay-Abaire script, based on Cornelia Funke’s novel, everyone involved with Inkheart has a sissy name. Seriously, I don’t know who any of these people are, but as far as I’m concerned they might as well be named Limpwrist Rogerbottom numbers 1-3.

Join The Discussion

Bonus post! And starring brendan fraser too! Can this day get any better?

12.10.07 at 5:34 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Books!

12.10.07 at 5:37 pm

Soylent Greenz

“when he reads aloud, he can bring characters from books into the real world.” What about internet movie websites? Tell him to read this: We will see Rachel Bilson naked. B/c I read somewhere she is a never nude.

12.10.07 at 5:37 pm

Jacktion!

So this is like Simon, but with reading instead of chalk?

12.10.07 at 5:37 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Books! + Paul Bettany = popcorn (not Grosse Pointe Blank popcorn)

12.10.07 at 5:38 pm

Jacktion!

Hey Soylent, I read that too!

12.10.07 at 5:38 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

It’s like reverse Pagemaster.

12.10.07 at 5:40 pm

Soylent Greenz

Reverse Pagemaster…so in this one Maukaly Kulkin is a power top and not submissive bottom?

12.10.07 at 5:41 pm

Jacktion!

This is like a Cinemax movie, bit with less nudity.

12.10.07 at 5:41 pm

Crapbasket

When I read the Penthouse forum pages, characters come out of me, into my pants.

12.10.07 at 5:43 pm

Jacktion!

SPOILER ALERT:Brendan Frasier writes "The bad guy loses" on a piece of paper and reads it aloud.

12.10.07 at 5:45 pm

Jacktion!

So Brendan Faser has a kid in this movie? Where’s the father?

12.10.07 at 5:45 pm

Jacktion!

I seem to be incapable of spelling his last name correctly.

12.10.07 at 5:46 pm

Ken Shamrock

HOLY SHIT FUCKING FUCK! I DO NOT FUCKING SEE A MOTHERLESS FUCKING POST ABOUT COCSUCKING ENCINO MAN! MOTHERFUCKING TELL MY GOAT RAPING ASS I DO NOT FUCKING SEE A FUCKING POST ABOUT FUCKING ENCINO MAN! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

12.10.07 at 5:48 pm

Crapbasket

Its wierd, the board today has been like the start of a zombie/plague/alien abduction movie. The town’s more empty than usual, some key characters are missing but nobody knows why, and it’s quiet… too, quiet…Then all of a sudden, made shit goes off like BOOM BLAMO! SMASHO-CRACKO!!! BOOOOOSH!!!<eagerly waiting for shit to go off…………………>

12.10.07 at 5:50 pm

baedo

HELL YEAH, PETER WELLER MOTHERFUCKERS! robocop is the SHIT! if only they’d let HIM act in this movie instead of Brendan F. then it’d be GOOD! FUCK YEAH. people could get blown up and shi- oh, what’s that? peter WALKER? right. not the robocop dude? oh, he’s not in this either? wait. what?

12.10.07 at 5:50 pm

B.K.

This is why actors should stop having kids. You get Dudley Do-Right movies and this stuff. "I needed to make something my kids could watch." Remember when Brendan Fraser was in Brain Candy? I do, because it’s the only movie I’ve ever liked him in.

12.10.07 at 5:51 pm

baedo

i mean paul walker, of course. oh he’s not- you know i’ll just shut the hell up now…i gotta lay off the crack, man…

12.10.07 at 5:52 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Books I wouldn’t read if things came out of them:Jurassic ParkIt anything by Marquis De Sade

12.10.07 at 5:52 pm

ChappySinclair

I guess they were going for something less manly than The Neverending Story.

12.10.07 at 5:52 pm

Nominus

THis movie’s concept is gay. Anything that starts off with "what if" can go bite me. What if it actually did bite me?

12.10.07 at 5:54 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Can’t any movie be shrunk to a what if scenario, Nom?Blade: What if a vampire victem was preggers when bitten…

12.10.07 at 5:54 pm

bryce's grandmother

I got lost.

12.10.07 at 5:54 pm

Nominus

Yes, but at least the trailer for blade didn’t start with "what if"

12.10.07 at 5:55 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

victem is worse than victim

12.10.07 at 5:56 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

I think trailers have to stop over using the fade to black. What if trailers didn’t all look the same…

12.10.07 at 5:56 pm

Jacktion!

I’d like to see a movie trailer that starts out with "What if Hollywood wasn’t filled with retarded chimps?"

12.10.07 at 5:57 pm

ChappySinclair

"What if there was a loophole saying she isn’t your sister if she’s in the shower" Exception?

12.10.07 at 5:57 pm

Nominus

What if it was time to leave work from home? What if after that I had to go to the counselors office with my wife? See ya’ll when I’m no longer crazy, or tomorrow, whichever happens first.

12.10.07 at 5:58 pm

Nominus

*for

12.10.07 at 5:58 pm

Soylent Greenz

Brain Candy: “Did you see, did you see the doctor and me”

12.10.07 at 5:59 pm

Crapbasket

CHAAAAAPPPPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

12.10.07 at 5:59 pm

Jacktion!

What if no one ever thought of the words what if?

12.10.07 at 5:59 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if I could go to the grocery store and buy what I need with my good looks* *now stealing and slightly editing poetry

12.10.07 at 5:59 pm

B.K.

Yes, but at least the trailer for blade didn’t start with "what if""What if White Men Couldn’t Exsanguinate?"That’s the best I have today. I fail.

12.10.07 at 6:00 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if beavers are just ugly, fat otters?

12.10.07 at 6:01 pm

Jacktion!

What if Jacktion(!) stopped getting such a kick out seeing his name on the computer?Just the thought of it frightens me.

12.10.07 at 6:01 pm

Soylent Greenz

What if Quantum Leap wasn’t the greatest show EVER!

12.10.07 at 6:03 pm

Jacktion!

What if Michael DeNicola’s mother wasn’t a dead nazi?

12.10.07 at 6:04 pm

ChappySinclair

What if a fucking dog could play basketball, soccer, baseball, football, and volleyball?And there you have it, the premise for the 5 greatest movies ever.

12.10.07 at 6:04 pm

Jacktion!

What if the Scientologists are right?

12.10.07 at 6:04 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if Michael DeNicola’s mother was Michael DeNicola (I just blew my mind!)?

12.10.07 at 6:05 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if Michael DeNicola is a sex-change clone?

12.10.07 at 6:06 pm

Stone Soup

What if C.A.T. really spells ‘dog’?

12.10.07 at 6:06 pm

Soylent Greenz

What if I didn’t sleep with a hobo this last July? Would I still have this rash?

12.10.07 at 6:07 pm

Jacktion!

Stone- thank you, Ogre.

12.10.07 at 6:08 pm

Fek'lhr

What if He really IS a Klingon?

12.10.07 at 6:10 pm

Stone Soup

Stone- thank you, Ogre. It’s like we share a brain, Jack. By the way, you may want to get tested. I think I can hear paint.

12.10.07 at 6:16 pm

Crapbasket

Paint is the new Syph.

12.10.07 at 6:17 pm

Soylent Greenz

What if unicorns were really horses with penises on their head and we only see them when they have a hard on?

12.10.07 at 6:17 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if Jesus was black?

12.10.07 at 6:21 pm

Glen

What if Jesus was black?That reminds me – astro turf is difficult to judge high jump heights from.

12.10.07 at 6:22 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Is it sad that I don’t know what Glen is talking about.

12.10.07 at 6:30 pm

Soylent Greenz

Revision:

What if unicorns were really horses with penises on their head and we only see them when they have a hard on? I mean that’s the only time I saw my dad. Sooooo, that means my dad was a unicorn! Awesome.

12.10.07 at 6:32 pm

Crapbasket

Black Jesus knows what Glen is talking about.

12.10.07 at 6:35 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if the world we live in is actually a computer program to keep us functioning as human batteries?

12.10.07 at 6:36 pm

Jacktion!

What if women didn’t flock to my side everytime I entered a bar?

12.10.07 at 6:39 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if I just showed my Mum the comment of the week page and she responded by saying she was worried about me?

12.10.07 at 6:41 pm

Soylent Greenz

jachtion. To answer your question, you would be me.

12.10.07 at 6:42 pm

Jacktion!

Or I’d still be me.

12.10.07 at 6:43 pm

Jacktion!

BTW, who’s jachtion?

12.10.07 at 6:43 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Why don’t you guys arm wrestle and whoever wins gets to be you.

12.10.07 at 6:45 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Or naked jello wrestle whatever floats your boat.

12.10.07 at 6:45 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

+ ,

12.10.07 at 7:23 pm

wwbd

true story hombres, as we speak i’m writing my final that’s due in an hour. will i be able to write 1500 in an hour? who knows but i can tell you one thing, i will drink a shot of water* for every 250 words. and so it begins….*water=rumrum makes me lucid thus more creative. i hope half the characters aren’t "!!!!!" and "LOL" and i also hope that when i take my 100 question final i don’t fill in half the paper with "C" WISH ME LUCK!

12.10.07 at 7:30 pm

wwbd

oh btw, i’m in the library, so i hope i dont kicked out for bringing alchy in here.chick: sir, i’m going to have to ask you to leave.dub: why? i’m here bbribing my final chick: ‘bribing,’ sir?dub: ::grimaces:: yea…..sigh…can we stop….this….is….getting stupid.

12.10.07 at 7:37 pm

Jacktion!

Well, it’s good to know that you’re making the most of your remaining hour to work, and not wasting it say… oh, I don’t know… on a film website.

12.10.07 at 8:56 pm

OnorableMention

I should be working on my final too. But at least my final’s for my film class. Who would have thought one could write a paper about Lara Croft Tomb Raider? And get to see a lot of Angelina Jolie’s sideboob as research? Ah, college.

12.10.07 at 9:05 pm

St. Anky's for breakfast

What if I had decided to join in on the "what if" game while it was still relevant?

12.10.07 at 9:20 pm

CrackerJack

What if I took, (not written), a 250 question multiple choice final exam today with a water-bottle full of vodka, and a stomachfull of whiskey.What if I’m a drunkWhat if I failed Can we play this game tomorrow? It’s fun.

12.10.07 at 9:34 pm

Nominus

What if I took an empty 2 liter bottle, filled it 1/4 the way with Drano brand drain cleaner and a handfull of little balls of aluminum foil, sealed it, stuck it between the dashboard and windshield of a car only thinking it might shatter the windshield, but instead it blew up and torched the cars interior, exterior and even melted the tires. Would the court system care that I didn’t know it would explode with fire?

12.10.07 at 9:47 pm

Stone Soup

What if I turn around and back out of this forum. Slowly. Whistling quielty to myself… God Bless America!

12.10.07 at 9:58 pm

wwbd

ALRIGHT HOMBRES, I KNOW YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I DID, WELL HERE IT IS: IDK, ILL LET YOU GUYS KNOW IN TWO DAYS IF IT’S STILL RELAVENT.

12.10.07 at 10:07 pm

CrackerJack

It wont be. sorry beedub.

12.10.07 at 10:07 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if I what if until what iffing becomes not what if, but what is and what was.

12.10.07 at 10:13 pm

wwbd

I KNOW IT WONT BE CRACKERJACK! ONLY ONCE THE DRUGS ARE DONE…

12.10.07 at 10:13 pm

Stone Soup

What if I what if until what iffing becomes not what if, but what is and what was. I remember the time I was whating for Godot. He never came.

12.10.07 at 10:14 pm

CrackerJack

Ooh… Very clever there, Tri-La. Lemme give that a try.What if what was is changed by what is, and what is to be is changed by what was? What if I changed what is therefore changing what was and what is to be? Or, what if I left for the night to drinkk myself into a stupor only to wake tomorrow and continue to what if.

12.10.07 at 10:15 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

what if what iffing prevents the what ifs to come?

12.10.07 at 10:15 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if I just made your brain expolde? Again?

12.10.07 at 10:17 pm

wwbd

SORRY THAT CANNOT HAPPEN TO ME

12.10.07 at 10:19 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

True story: my friend and I once filmed a mockumentary of Waiting For Godot called Waiting For God. God was played by a Spawn figurine (a demon) with a scottish accent and the other characters were star trek figurines. They went time traveling through movies (we put in dvds and made them fly). Go A+ for a presentation. Also, for that class we filmed Othello and The Importance of Being Algernon. Straight A+s.

12.10.07 at 10:22 pm

CrackerJack

drinkk has two ‘k’s because hott has two ‘t’sStone and Tri-La: Thank you for bringing Beckett into the mix.

12.10.07 at 10:23 pm

wwbd

Lalala I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

12.10.07 at 10:24 pm

CrackerJack

what if I hope you thought that was funny.

12.10.07 at 10:24 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

What if you could hear me (and you secretly liked it)?

12.10.07 at 10:27 pm

wwbd

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PEOPLE AND THE ‘WHAT IF’S’?

12.10.07 at 10:29 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Last page: Nom: THis movie’s concept is gay. Anything that starts off with "what if" can go bite me. What if it actually did bite me? And then things went downhill.

12.10.07 at 10:29 pm

wwbd

ALRIGHT, GUYS, I’M OFF TO DO MORE ‘STUDYING.’ SEE YOU GENTS CUNTS , MANANA!

12.10.07 at 10:30 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

boohoo dub dub. I’m done school for 3 weeks.

12.10.07 at 10:30 pm

wwbd

OH 1547 WORDS IN 1.2 HOURS? A+

12.10.07 at 10:31 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

Go team dub dub.

12.10.07 at 10:33 pm

Lalala I can't hear you!

I’m going to go too. And read for fun! Yay!

12.10.07 at 10:45 pm

Stone Soup

I’m going to go too. And read for fun! Yay!I don’t understand.

12.10.07 at 10:56 pm

catch me

Will there be a dance scene like in Blast From The Past?Cause if there’s not I’m won’t see it.

Don’t get Him wrong, he listed guns…which is good. It wasn’t phallic enough, but still good.

12.11.07 at 12:03 am

jokerswild

I too commend the usage of Ogre-rification by stoney. I would nominate that but it is like 11 pm local. Why am I here?

12.11.07 at 12:35 am

Jacktion!

Go Team Venture!

12.11.07 at 8:52 am

Stone Soup

erswi’s always got my back, but only before 11pm apparently.

12.11.07 at 8:57 am

Lalala I can't hear you!

I don’t understand. Shocking. It’s like killing people. Being paid/forced to kill people is a job. Doing it for fun becomes a calling. Ergo, killing people is like joining the priesthood, except you hypothetically get to have more sex.