from the omfg-wtf-tsa dept

Update: The TSA tells us that this claim below was a false report. Instead, they say each airport is responsible for their own security plan, and this was just how this airport conducted some of its security. That said, they also admit that the plans are "approved by the TSA." Still, it's entirely possible that it was wrong to flat out pin this on the TSA -- though it does seem legit to claim that this came about due to the culture of paranoia and suspicion that the TSA seems to encourage.

Laurie Iacuzza walked to her waiting car at the Greater Rochester International Airport after returning from a trip and that's when she found it -- a notice saying her car was inspected after she left for her flight. She said, "I was furious. They never mentioned it to me when I booked the valet or when I picked up the car or when I dropped it off."

Iacuzza's car was inspected by valet attendants on orders from the TSA.

Take note of that, America. Your safety can only be guaranteed by a search of valet-parked vehicles, but not by a trained agent. Instead, your valet will do a brief search of your vehicle to ensure there's nothing inside the cabin, trunk or under the hood that looks like a bomb. (Like, for instance, a bundle of wires and some other stuff with a post-it attached saying, "NOT A BOMB.")

The report stated that the inspection involves looking into the trunk and engine and a "scan" of the inside of the car, which does not include opening the glove compartment or the console.

Granted, the cabin of the vehicle isn't really "private," but digging around in someone's trunk usually requires a warrant or reasonable suspicion. And I don't think I can stress this enough, but YOUR VALET is performing this warrantless, suspicionless search.

But is that the extent of vehicles being searched at airports?

[W]hy only valet parked cars? That's what News10NBC wanted to ask the TSA director about. We reached him by phone.

Berkeley Brean asked, "Are the cars in the short term lots and long term lots getting searched as well?"

John McCaffery, TSA, said, "No, those vehicles that are in the garage, short term long term parking, even if they carry pretty large amounts of explosives, they would not cause damage to the front of the airport. But for those who use the valet, the car could be there for a half hour or an hour so there is a vulnerability."

Well, that almost seems smart, except that cars waiting for a free valet/human bomb detector aren't the only vehicles lingering in front of airports, as J.D. Tucille at Reason points out.

If the TSA is truly worried about car bombs at the curb, all of those private vehicles and taxis making drop-offs and pickups would seem to be of equal concern to cars left with a valet.

His guess is that the TSA does it because it has "nominal consent," thanks to a sign posted at the valet window that announces valet-parked vehicles will be searched per TSA orders. Except that Iacuzza claims no sign was posted when she dropped off her vehicle and the valet agency refused to state when the sign was actually posted.

I think it goes farther than nominal consent. Whether or not it makes sense to search vehicles parked for more than X minutes in front of the airport (it doesn't -- at least if you're not searching non-valet-parked vehicles) is beside the point. Vehicles left for valets to park present both access and opportunity, two aspects our nation's security agencies never let go to waste.

The valet is going to be inside the vehicle to park it. That's a given. No expectation of privacy in terms of the interior of the vehicle. The attendant can also pop the hood once inside. Accessing the trunk may take a key or may have an interior release, but either way, the attendant has everything he or she needs to do a quick and dirty "search." A car waiting for a valet is a Christmas present for the TSA, which clearly has a jones to search as many forms of transport as possible.

And if you don't consent? Well, I suppose you're stuck parking your own car bomb at short-term or long-term parking where it can detonate in peace.

But don't worry, it could be worse. The DHS has noted that in cases of heightened security alerts, the TSA can randomly search any vehicle it wants to. Pushing this job to valets just sounds like the TSA would rather avoid more confrontations with pissed off travelers. Beyond that though, it just seems incredibly shitty to put untrained valets in potentially dangerous situations. You know, unless no one, not even the TSA, really believes anyone's leaving cars loaded with explosives at valet parking.

"Each airport authority, along with their state and local law enforcement partners, is responsible for securing airport property, including the outer perimeter."

Sounds like cans being kicked down the road. Tucille adds:

Suffice it to say, as you can tell from the official statement emphasizing airport authorities and local agencies, TSA doesn't want to take credit for the car searches at Rochester's airport. Also, I think it's a safe bet that Laurie Iacuzza, and anybody else who left cars with valets at the airport before this story broke, was very likely not properly informed that their vehicles would be searched.

Looks like some improper searches have been occurring at the Greater Rochester International Airport. And if the TSA didn't give the go-ahead for these search-and-park maneuvers, whoever whipped up the sign and the notice left in Iacuzza's vehicle will need to do a bit of explaining.

Reader Comments

No, those vehicles that are in the garage, short term long term parking, even if they carry pretty large amounts of explosives, they would not cause damage to the front of the airport. But for those who use the valet, the car could be there for a half hour or an hour so there is a vulnerability.

That's gotta be one of the most half-assed, retarded justification I have ever heard. With enough explosives and parking it as close as possible they can take entire blocks with a single boom. Although I think this explanation is more acceptable than "it's just some random whim of our megalomaniac bosses".

Beyond that though, it just seems incredibly shitty to put untrained valets in potentially dangerous situations.

The chances of finding a bomb ANYWHERE within an airport based on historical events are way below 1%. Now if you count the number of cars that go through daily and the numbers of car-bombs that exploded in airport areas in the entirety of human history the chances are even smaller. But supposing the guy finds a bomb what will he do? Call for mommy? Sounds like the TSA wants to spare their agents from explosions!

And now I have this sudden urge of making a bomb all decorated with party themes and leave in a car while delivering it to a valet with a big sign attached to it: THIS IS A BOMB!

Re:

I wouldn't take the "nice" car to the airport and park it; I'd take my P-O-S car. Which is, in other words, a bomb. Synonymous with a lemon, a junker, a "station car". Guess I'd better stop calling it that.

I have a third party willing to strip-search and dismantle the entire DHS. (except the Coast Guard and a skeleton crew of customs.) Based on standard practices and interpretations, since they're a third party, they're not accountable or prosecutable for Wanton Contempt of Oligarchy.

Re: Re:

I don't think anybody is proposing that. I am in favor of dismantling the DHS, but that doesn't mean dismantling the agencies that the DHS had consumed. The secret service would still exist, it would just be as it was before the DHS existed.

Valet

Do you really rely on the valet for proper placement of your airport-destroying device?

Isn't it a little more precise to drive the vehicle to the proper place in front of the airport drop-off and pick-up, park in the white zone, lock the vehicle, and walk away from it? Are the terrorist concerned about the ticket, or that the effeciency of the towing service at the airport is going to foil their plot?

Re: Valet

A terrorist may book valet service, and if not a suicide bomber, will set a timer to give themselves enough time to get away, almost certainly with a backup detonator on the ignition or door. That is they will arrange for the bomb to go boom before the car can be moved.

Re: Re: Valet

Even if that is the case, why bother with the valet? There seems to be no reason to actually leave the keys or leave the vehicle unlocked.

Pull up, park next to the curb illegally, and walk away. Why the heck would you first give someone the keys? People park illegally and get towed all the time - wouldn't a switch that sets off the bomb when the car is tilted by the tow truck be the best thing you could use?

How would this work?

Can anyone explain where in the valet process it would be possible for this to be effective.

I'm poor/cheap and don't get valet parking at the airport, so perhaps I don't fully understand the process. Here is what I think it looks like:

1) I drive to the airport and find the most convenient door for me to park
2) I get out of the car, gather my luggage, and hand my keys to the valet to take my car
3) He gives me something that indicates that they have my car and which car it is
4) He gets into the car, and drives it away to some undisclosed location - tucking it safely away under a pipe leaking some kind of sap/rust hybrid fluid that is going to eat the paint off of my hood
5) I return to the airport after my trip
6) I argue with someone about my missing luggage
7) I find the nearest exit where there is a nice valet employee with a radio and hand him my ticket
8) He calls someone at the hidden location who gets into my car and drives it to me waiting at the curb
9) I get into the car and leave

So, assuming they don't search the car in front of me when I hand him the keys, the first opportunity to search it is after the vehicle has left the critically-important location and is in a garage location presumably a long distance from the airport and surrounded by concrete.

The only other opportunity I have to detonate my bomb is when I am standing at the curb and the bomb is delivered back to me after my trip has been completed. At this point, since i am now a suicide bomber, wouldn't it be more effective for the bomb to be in my suitcase so I can simply wheel it into the concourse and detonate it in front of the check-in counter?

Re: How would this work?

and THATS why the TSA will soon be employing the homeless to run at you, snatch your bags, check them by dumping your clothes all over the ground and signalling that everything's A-OK by running away whilst defecating in their trousers.

Re: How is this not illegal?

The police can enlist the help of a third party to gather evidence. They do this all the time (confidential informant wearing a wire).

However, any agent they designate is also bound by the same search restrictions that the police have. In this case, however, since the TSA apparently has no restrictions and does not need to abide by the 4th amendment, they can tell anyone they want to search something.

Re: Valet keys

> My car has a valet key, which is what I give
> to valets. It unlocks the doors and starts
> the car, but does not unlock the trunk or
> any interior compartments.

How does that work? Every car I've ever driven has a trunk release inside the car. Usually somewhere on the dashboard or on the driver's side door. So yeah, your key won't open the trunk, but the little button on the dashboard sure will.

Re: Re: Valet keys

Re: Re: Valet keys

> My car has a valet key, which is what I give
> to valets. It unlocks the doors and starts
> the car, but does not unlock the trunk or
> any interior compartments.

How does that work? Every car I've ever driven has a trunk release inside the car. Usually somewhere on the dashboard or on the driver's side door. So yeah, your key won't open the trunk, but the little button on the dashboard sure will.

Trunks can be locked with a real key so the internal trunk release will not open the trunk. Since the valet key also will not open the trunk you have secured the trunk and the contents.

Re: Re: Valet keys

I have a VW with this feature as well. You can lock the glove box, the swing down backseats (to the trunk) and also the trunk releases (both internal and external ones) with the ignition key, but the valet key will not unlock any of them them.

Re: Re: Valet keys

I have a Nissan Altima and the key is a fob with a key that inserts into it. The ignition is a push start so you only need the fob to start it. Inside the glove box there is a button that disables the trunk releases so when you flip that switch the button on the dash, button on the fob, and proximity button on the trunk itself are disabled. Then you lock the glove box and backseat release button with the physical key.

You take the key with you and give them the fob. They can drive the car, but cannot open the glove box or the trunk without using force and causing damage to the car.

Re: Valet keys

… are they authorized…?

The valet may drive your car into a concrete wall. At which point the wreck will be hauled off to the police impound lot—and all of the contents will be inventoried, according to standard police inventory procedures.

Better give the valet the non-defective key. Concrete walls are much less likely to jump out in front of your car when all the equipment is in well-functioning order.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Valet keys

No, he was working for the valet service. The valet service told him to search my car (on orders from the feds). But all that is an irrelevant distinction for this sort of thing since nobody told him to crash my car into the wall -- in fact, the valet service's insurance company very probably told him not to.

So you work at valet parking, probably not the best paying job, you dont like this new part of the job some manic DHS agent has come up with, or the potential risk to life or limb with no extra money in compensation, do you refuse the extra duty, do you just do this potentially dangerous job,
or are you some dodgy character that will use the opportunity to check out the boot to see if there is really any stuff of value there.
Since you work in a country where concern for personal safety in the work place can mean the sack. Do you just say you did the search. Do you leave a note behind. (in a sort of CYA moment)