Does anyone else deal with this?

Alright, I may be asking for a tidal wave of flames, but I'm just being honest and wondering if anyone else is like this.

I am a masculine guy — no would would guess I'm gay — who is most definitely attracted to men. I'd take seeing a guy I'm interested in naked over a beautiful woman any day. There's no issue there, so it's not like I'm trying to pretend I'm not attracted to men.

However, here's the rub: I don't feel comfortable doing anal with another guy, either as a top or a bottom. I idolize masculine men, and it feels like I'm tearing down that quality in another guy or in myself by penetrating him or him penetrating me. It feels like that should be something reserved for men and women.

In fact, very little gay porn even turns me on. I'm waaaaaay more into straight porn. I'm most turned on when I see a guy with a chick. Somehow that seems like the pinnacle of masculinity and turns me onto a guy lots more.

Now, fortunately, for whatever reason, mutual j/o with another guy is a different story. Somehow that doesn't bother me.

I've grown up in the south, so being gay has been a struggle and something that I've hidden. Again, being honest, if I'd had a choice, I'd choose to be straight. However, I'm not, and I accept that.

But it's even more annoying to feel like I'm caught in no-mans-land in a lot of ways when it comes to my attractions, because of these quirks.

Anyway, again, I'm not making some political statement here, I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences anything like this.

However, here's the rub: I don't feel comfortable doing anal with another guy, either as a top or a bottom. . .

Now, fortunately, for whatever reason, mutual j/o with another guy is a different story. Somehow that doesn't bother me..

I'm sure there are other guys out there who feel like you do - but not likely on RJ.If your sex life is limited to jacking off with other guys (and solo), and even this does not excite you, but only "doesn't bother you," as you put it, you have my sympathy. I only know of you what you wrote, but I think you could well benefit from seeing a therapist. Not with a goal of making you more gay or straight, but to allow yourself to enjoy more whatever sex you have. Sex is supposed to make one happy. If it doesn't, something is wrong. You didn't mention oral, so I am guessing that is not part of your repertoire either. One wonders, when with a guy, do you kiss? Or is this also too un-masculine?

Someone else suggested try using a dildo - I would suggest a vibrator first - since anal does not appeal to you, you barely have to insert a vibrator at all to get the stimulation of the prostate - the stimulation of which is a big part of the joy of being fucked (which you do not want to do).