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Saturday, 21 September 2013

MAD Blood Bowl: Egdenberg Undertakers Special Report #3

Welcome Blood Bowl fans. My name is Bertwold Humpernickle, and this is my third Special Report on the EgdenbergUndertakers. Tonight, I bring you a rundown of the Undertakers' thrilling match against the Nurgle worshipping Chaos team, the Fester City Poxes...

Match 3

The Egdenberg Undertakers played this match at Fester City's home stadium, and it's fortunate indeed that the Undertakers players and the majority of their fans are either 'living-challenged', or so used to the foul aromas associated with death and disease that they just didn't care, because this sport reporter was certainly glad of his pomander, despite the extortionate prices charged by the seller at the gates! The benefits of a captive audience I suppose...

For a third match running, and second away match, the Undertakers fans outnumbered those of their opponents: twelve thousand rotting Egdenberg fans attended the game, compared to just seven thousand home fans. In addition, the Undertakers took advantage of their high attendance figures and arranged to play this match as a Testimonial match: their second in a row, following last match where the Testimonial was arranged by the Ugly Gitz. The Poxes were also able to draft in an additional two mercenary players at the eleventh hour, giving them an advantage in the numbers game due to the single Zombie player missing the game with a smashed hand.

With a fourth Ghoul signing prior to this match, I think Rakarth von Kampman planned to take advantage of the speed boost bestowed by these players to power down the wings in snap running plays, while the Mummies and Zombies on the line of scrimmage neutered the pus ridden Chaos Warriors and the slurping Beast of Nurgle. That plan went out of the window when the Undertakers kicker booted the ball way down field and clean off the pitch for a touchback for the Fester City Poxes.

All of a sudden, the Undertakers found themselves out of position and scrambling to prevent the Poxes Pestigors from storming downfield in a vicious blitz play which smashed every Egdenberg player that stood in their way. The first half of the game was utterly brutal, and saw four players knocked out cold, three from the Undertakers (including two of the three Ghouls that started on the field), and two Undertakers players carried off to the screaming room (including the Ghoul Runner Snaegir), as Pesigor Savage Gaw ran in a touchdown to put the Poxes one nil up.

This fantastic running blitz play by the Fester City Poxes, and the number of creaking and groaning Undertakers players taking up bench space in the dugout, really had the Undertakers under pressure toward the close of the first half. With seconds remaining, the Undertakers emerged from their dressing room with an evil glint in their eyes. By the time the half time whistle blew, Wowbugger and Tramplehoof, both Poxes players, were being stretchered from the field...

The second half saw a change of pace. The Undertakers, started the drive outnumbered by disease riddled worshippers of Grandfather Nurgle, but with much chanting from the Egdenberg coaching staff, player after player was dragged off to the Poxes dugout. The turning point for the match came when the thus far virtually immovable Beast of Nurgle plowed it's jovially lethal bulk into the Mummy, Cheops the Great, and both players smashed into one another like two butting Rhinox. The crowd gasped, though that could just have been lung rot and severe asthma, and, after tense moments, Cheopsthe Great pushed his battered body back to its feet. The Beast did not, instead having to be dragged by a pair of festering Chaos Trolls to the dugout.

Play resumed with a frantic running play by the Undertakers, having caught hold of a lunatic squig of a ball which bounced all around behind the Undertakers offensive line, before being grabbed by Vishur. The Ghoul made a dash up the left wing, through a gap created in the Poxes line by the Egdenberg Blitzers, and screened by his team mates, Vishur ran the ball in to level the score.

By the later stages of the half, the field was looking decidedly clear of players, both dugouts overflowing with broken and bruised players. With the seconds counting down, the Undertakers set up to kick, taking care not to overshoot the kick and hand the initiative to the Fester City Poxes as they did at the start of the match. As play ensued, a Poxes Pestigor retrieved the ball, and the team began to bash a hole in the Undertakers right wing. They managed to push through, and made a break downfield to go for a second (and winning) Touchdown.

Seeing the danger, the Undertakers midfield darted right to block the ball carrier's path, trying desperately to reach the rampaging Pestigor. In the end, a coordinated pincer play allowed the ball carrier to be Blitzed, and as he ploughed into the bloodied turf, the ball bounced into the crowd. It must have been grabbed by Undertakers fans, because they swiftly booted it downfield towards the Poxes end zone. In the dying seconds of the game, Vishur sprinted around Poxes players, while Undertakers players rallied to block their opponents path to the Ghoul, and without breaking step, Vishur scooped up the ball and dived headlong into the endzone to score!

Final score: Egdenberg Undertakers 2 - 1 Fester City Poxes

This match was a really close call, the Poxes giving the Undertakers a pasting in the first half, but with the demise of the Beast of Nurgle, a ray of hope broke through the clouds of noxious fumes hanging over the field, and the Undertakers fought back. Luck was with them, and they managed to scrape a win, their second on the bounce. The Undertakers survived without serious mishap, and the team will be back to full strength for their next match, though the Poxes suffered a small number of serious injuries, and will be short of rostered bodies for their next match. The Beast of Nurgle, despite it's diabolical constitution, expired after its encounter with the unstoppable Cheops the Great, who continues his rampage through the teams playing in the MAD League.

The Undertakers next match has yet to be confirmed, but with two bashing teams played, it must be on the cards for them to face a team that plays a totally different style of game.

Until my next Special Report, this is Bertwold Humpernicke signing off.