Hypocrite Pence Slams North Korea Military Parade But Praises Trump’s Military Parade Fetish

This week Vice President Mike Pence was put in the uber-awkward position of defending Donald Trump‘s childish obsession with having a huge military parade thrown in his honor while coming down on the North Koreans doing the same thing his boss wishes he could do.

Pence was at the scene of the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, fielding questions from reports when he decided to single out North Korean leader Kim Jong Un for throwing a “provocative” military parade ahead of the games.

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However, in the middle of his statement, Pence was immediately asked to comment on Trump’s desire to host his own military parade.

As usual, Pence tried and failed to draw a distinction between the two storylines, by using gold-medal worthy deflection gymnastics to navigate his hypocrisy. However, he couldn’t quite stick the landing.

When a reporter questioned whether Trump’s request damaged his “moral high ground” while the U.S. was trying to debunk North Korean propaganda, the Vice President tried to sell some bullshit on how Trump’s parade would “celebrate the men and women of the Armed Forces.” However, anyone with half a brain knows that the parade would be about stroking Trump’s flaccid ego which rises and falls more violently than stock numbers on Wall Street on any given day.

However, just a few moments later Pence labeled the North Korean parade “an effort on the part of the regime in Pyongyang to display their ballistic missiles, to display a military that continues to make menacing threats across the region and across the wider world.”

He whined that North’s Korea’s “display was all one more part of an ongoing provocation.”

He then nimbly pivoted back to kissing his boss’s orange ass, claiming that Trump was inspired by the Bastille Day celebrations that he witnessed up close during a recent visit to France. Pence insisted, “We can celebrate our troops and not in any way ever be associated with the provocations of the North.”

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No matter how much Pence tries to dance around it, he knows that his position is untenable in the eyes of any rational thinking human being. However, Pence, like many other Republicans, have decided to go all in and bet that his fortunes will rise with Trumps. But just like any compulsive gambler trying to win big against the house, Pence will more likely end up losing it all in one unlucky roll of the dice.