Get Into My Shorts Pt. 02

Need an injection of culture in your life to compliment your hasty orgasm? These ultra-short erotic tales should do the trick.

Note: Any resemblance between these short 'haiku inspired' tales and real poetry is purely coincidental, not to mention highly unlikely.

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_ANAL

dildo thrusts
into sub boyfriend's
puckered hole

_BDSM

whipcrackslap
'again, please', she said
shut up, bitch

_CELEBRITIES

'Love your work'
said while descending
onto famous cock

_CHAIN STORIES

cunt licked
eagerly by tongue
while in background...

...dick sucked
dry of hot seed
before sliding in...

...to willing
tight, greasy fuckhole
of other person...

...who had just
entered the room-
to be continued

_EROTIC COUPLINGS

gentle caress
kissing of necks
hot cum on tits

_EROTIC HORROR

oh my god
don't look back
oh, shit, she did anyway

_EXHIBITIONIST & VOYEUR

good binoculars
are very handy
in said category

_FETISH

no matter what
leather masks will never
look less ridiculous

_FIRST TIME

first sharp pain
always followed by
intense girl pleasure.

_GAY MALE

two erections
two too loose holes
in toilet cubicle

_GROUP SEX

cocks and cunts
cum and willing juices
everywhere you look

_INCEST

mum is gone
to sale at WalMart
so suck cock, says dad

_INTERACIAL LOVE

ooh, so big,
too big, she says
knowing it is not

_LESBIAN SEX

vibrator buzzing
to sound of groans
of crew-cut girls

_LETTERS & TRANSCRIPTS

Dear Bob,
this must surely be
least read category

_LOVING WIVES

for you, my love
I copulate happily
with rugby team

_MATURE

with viagara pill
old man cums hard
in young vagina

_MIND CONTROL

hordes of girls
arrive trancelike and nude
at nerdy guy's door

_NON-ENGLISH

'Nein', she screams
'Quoi?', his foreign reply
then shrug, he cums

_NON EROTIC

so, did you
happen to see the game
last weekend?

_NON-CONSENT

her negative reply
infuriates him madly
so he ignores it

_NOVELS AND NOVELLAS

through seven chapters
characters develop
without much sex

_ROMANCE

waterfall flows
onto virgin's breast
kissed by handsome man

_SCI-FI & FANTASY

her willing hole
penetrated roughly
by green, radioactive tentacle

_TOYS & MASTURBATION

she likes so much
the hundreds of hard
bits of corn on cob

_TRANSEXUALS & CROSS-DRESSING

'bend over', says he
'no, you bend over'
says deep-voiced girl

_EXTREME

so much blood
shit, dismembered limbs
pain in ass to clean up

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Note: I can see the feedback already... from people in desperate need of a hobby... "Hey, dickhead! Those aren't really haikus! Blahblahblah"

No. They're not. They are humourous. There are no 'kigos', or seasonal references. No, many of the haikus are not 17 syllables or in 5-7-5 form. Actually, those rules only apply to Japanese grammar. In English, 12 syllables and 3-4-3 is the proper form. And no, the above haikus don't follow that either. So there. Hah.