The Crow and the Butterfly

Just about eight years ago my very pregnant wife and I were doing some serious work putting together what would be our daughters nursery. We put in new carpet, a lavender paint and on one wall a very large mural. We placed a large tree in a garden and throughout the room and on the mural we placed a variety of butterflies. As my little princess grew, we changed her crib into a bed, but the room essentially stayed the same.

Until today, that little labor of love stayed in tact. Even after we moved everyone to our future home, I could not bring myself to do anything with either child’s room. It has been a bit depressing thinking about doing anything with it despite the fact that I have known for months that I need to get off my ass and start prepping this house for whatever will happen with it in the future. No matter what though until this weekend the most I could do was clean the room it has just been too much to think about with all the other changes in our lives lately and those that I know are on the horizon.

If everything goes according to plan, next month we will close on what will hopefully be the last house we ever buy. Our new home, sits about mid-way up a mountain in a beautiful neighborhood. We will move everyone into it in June, just as the kids finish school for the year. The one unfortunate thing about the new home is that the kids will have to change schools from the ones we just put them into this year. It will not be too daunting for them and they are moving into schools that are comparable or better to the ones they are in currently.

The reason I finally got a start on prepping the house is that I picked up a boarder this weekend and while the rooms are clean a princess’ palace garden theme and camouflage room are not really suitable for business. So it was with a heavy heart that I got myself together and went to purchase the paint and other supplies needed to do what I have know I have needed to do for several months now.

I am normally not what you would call a sentimental fellow, most that know me would attest to that, but the very last thing I first put the primer on was the mural. That thin white paint did little more than fade the mural and the very colorful butterflies just a little bit. Once I started putting the first coat of paint on, that little tree of life taunted me as the most prominent pieces of it decided they were going to shine through. A little while later with the second coat a couple of the butterflies and that damn sign were still giving me fits. Finally, after I got the third coat on the mural wall, all I could see was the mural in my mind, right where it was supposed to be. I just closed my eyes before this sentence and I could see it all, in its glory right where it was. I truly hope that when I get back from work tomorrow, after letting the paint set-up overnight that something does not decide to be stubborn and pop its head through.

So, why was something as simple as painting a room such an endeavor for someone as non-sentimental as me? This has been the only home that my children have known. We bought it and have lived in it since before even our son was born. This coming September will be 18 years. Up to this point, our entirely too small home has been exactly that, a home. The only reason we have not fixed it up and sold it so far is that it would cost me more to live in an apartment as I work towards retirement.

So, why the title of a Shinedown song for this post? Other than the fact that my little girl sings it beautifully, as I was working through the emotions of changing something that has meant so much to both me and my wife, I realized a slightly alternative meaning to the song. The butterflies are pretty obvious. Gia-bear has been my butterfly princess since the day she came home from the hospital. The crow, that is time and all the change that comes along with it. You cannot stop it and along with it the change just keeps on coming. My little girl is growing up, she is not much shorter than her mom at this point. My little man, is just a hair bit shorter than me and I expect by the end of the year to be looking him in the eye without looking down hell, I may even be looking up at them. Time, she is a fickle bitch, and just like the crow eats up all the scraps, leaving you not much beyond memories.

Now that one room is done, the other will go a bit easier, as will the rest of the work that needs to be done around here. Time goes on, my kids will continue to grow and me and my wife will continue to get older. Fortunately, she has some dynamite genetics and looks even more beautiful today than the day I met her. Here is a full length view of our garden scene.

I was doing the math and figuring out the best way to cut it out. Now we have a couple more pictures of it and something our daughter can read later in life when she needs some inspiration for a nursery for her own kids