Hey, Daddio, Are You Cool Enough for Ed’s New Generation?

By

Iain Martin

Sep 30, 2010 10:32 am GMT

This “new generation” shtick of Ed Miliband’s isn’t going to last very long. I give it about a week. Which is only slightly longer than the lifespan of Tony Blair’s “Age of Change” mantra — announced in a post-Diana speech and then never heard of again.

Still, some of you might actually want to join this exciting movement, launched in his speech to conference on Tuesday. Find out below if you qualify for membership of Ed Miliband’s New Generation:

1) Do I have to be cool to get in? Absolutely not. In Ed’s New Generation, square is actually the new cool. At school were you one of those kids at the front of the class, sick of being pelted with paper airplanes and having your Sony Walkman and Smiths tapes stolen by the toughs? Well, you’re straight in. Capable of doing a Rubik’s Cube in under 90 seconds? Welcome aboard.

2) My name is Miliband, does that help? Yes, and no. Ed’s mum (in her mid-70s, see question 3.) qualifies but then her name isn’t Miliband, it’s Kozak. But if your name is David Miliband then you probably don’t cut it. You may be admitted to the New Generation at some unspecified point in the future. In the meantime, good luck and close the door behind you on the way out.

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