Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

1. Warm up the oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour an 8 by 8 inch baking dish, ya know, the brownie pan. Cut up the ginger and walnuts into bite-sized pieces. Aim for the size of a chocolate chip. In a small glass mix together the ground flax seeds and milk then set that shit aside.

2. In a medium bowl mix together the oil, sugar, pumpkin, and vanilla until everything’s all incorporated and they’re aren’t any dry sugar patches hiding out. In another bowl whisk together the flour, baking powder, spices, and salt.

3. Now add the pumpkin mixture and milk to the flour bowl, then mix that motherfucker up until there aren’t any more clumps of flour. Yeah, the batter is gonna be thick, don’t worry you didn’t fuck anything up. Fold in the ginger and walnuts. If you want to be fancy save some of those to stick on top so the blondies look all legit and kinda decorated.

4. Pour the batter into the baking dish. You’re gonna need to spread it around with a spatula or the back of a spoon to get that shit nice and even because that fucker won’t spread on its own. If you left any walnuts or ginger out, gently press those onto the top and that shit will look artisan as fuck. Bake it for 35-45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let it cool for at least 20 minutes cutting into bars and serving.

*This is the kind that has the bits of sugar on the outside. You’ll find it in the baking aisle or sometimes in bulk bins if your store has that shit. Can’t find them? Replace them with chocolate or peanut butter chips. #rollwithit

**This is a fucking dessert so yeah there’s a little sugar in here. Just fucking relax.