Three Grocery Store Gallon Smashers Have Been Charged

Remember these little shits who went around ruining perfectly good milk, OJ, etc. and exploiting nice grocery store folk for some cheap laughs?

Little goddang hoodlums.

Inevitably, this prank started a widespread trend after the original YouTube video went viral, causing many viewer reactions ranging anywhere from “Hahaha, that’s pretty funny and harmless” to “Fuck these little c*%# sucking bastards. I’d strangle one of these pencil-necked assholes to death and drag ’em down the BBQ/outdoor aisle and out on the street if they tried to pull that shit in my neighborhood store.”

I suppose I fell somewhere in between, but definitely closer to the latter response. However you feel about, I bet we can can all agree they’re punks.

Well, some justice has been served amidst this gallon-smashing phenomenon.

Fairfax County police say they charged three teenagers in gallon smashing incidents shown on YouTube. In the incidents, a teen would go into a grocery store and pretend to fall while smashing a gallon of milk on the floor.

Officer Don Gotthardt says the three teens are charged in 7 incidents that happened in four local supermarkets. They are charged with seven counts each of disorderly conduct and destruction of property, according to Gotthardt.

Here’s to hoping they catch more of these shitheads, but only after I catch one or two of them slipping as they come cruising up on me in the boxed wine aisle, wielding a couple gallons of 2% homogenized, ready to turn me into a YouTube victim.

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Dillon Cheverere (@DCheverere) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

This is nothing. My friends and I stope shopping carts and hung out the car window then plowed them into shit at upwards of 50 mph. It was fucking hilarious. We took down a mailbox off a 4×4. Once we took one down the highway at about 80 mph and then let her rip. Fucking incredible.