shave for a cure

Striding down the street in the centre of town, my not-quite-two-year-old on my left hip, my imitation leather handbag slapping against my right. I was on my way to meet a friend. She’s shaved all her hair off too.

Nice hair!

It is nice hair. But that’s not what they meant. Two boys, pretending to be men. Yelling at a woman because she doesn’t look the way they want women to look.

Gross.

It’s funny that I wrote that out, because I can honestly say I didn’t care in the slightest that they yelled at me. In fact, there’s something quite comical about it all… I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but I think it’s mainly the thought that some young guy felt the need to comment on a 33-year-old mother’s appearance. Or maybe it’s just that there are men in their twenties who still enjoy yelling at people out their car window. Or maybe I have a terrible sense of humour. Who knows?

I like having a shaved head. I like the way it looks and I like the way it feels. I feel more confident, more beautiful, more me. I feel like I’ve trampled all over pretty and left it behind me for good. I’m not some delicate little flower, I’m a freaking fern. Shade or sun, wind or rain, I’m gonna keep on growing.

I mentioned in my last blog post that 2017 hasn’t been kind to me, and that in turn I haven’t been kind to me. But I feel like things are turning around. I mean, it’s only April. I’ve still got plenty of time to make this year my year. I’m ready to give it my all.

Just before I shaved my head a friend got in touch with me to share a quote from Coco Chanel (of all people!)

A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.

Normally I’d snort at that – both the sentiment and the speaker – but it’s true. It’s bloody true. I shaved off my hair and I found myself. I found strength, resilience, and hope. Wherever you are, and whatever you do, I hope you can find the same.

– Fern xxx

Just in case you missed them, these are the head shaving videos that you totally gotta see.
And FYI, it’s not too late to sponsor me either.

I’m one week out from shaving my head. One. You are probably wondering how I am feeling. Am I regretting my decision yet? You might imagine I am, but nope. I’m not. In fact I can’t freaking wait to shave my head.

I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube videos. Being a YouTuber myself that doesn’t sound particularly newsworthy, but rather than sticking to what shows up on my subscription feed, I’ve been searching out women with shaved heads. I’ve seen pros and cons videos, Shave for a Cure promos, and women who decided to give themselves a buzz cut just because.

I don’t even have the words to explain how these videos have made me feel, but I tell you what. Women with shaved heads are bloody beautiful. They are not brave. They are not reckless. They are normal people who understand that hair is overrated. I mean, really. What even is hair?

My four favourite videos from the past week:

Yesterday I hit my fundraising goal. I’ve now collected over $1,000 for Leukaemia & Blood Cancer NZ. It was a great feeling, of course, but I’m going to increase my goal now. I’m not ready to stop just yet. I still have a week to go. I still want more. I’ve listed my ponytail on Trademe, I’ve got interviews lined up with journalists, and everywhere I go I’m telling people, Yeah so I’m shaving my head soon! Most people are cool with it. Some people are weird.

There’s so much pressure on us (women, I mean) to be pretty. For whatever reason society seems to think that we need to try harder to look good than men do. We should get up and do our hair and put on make up and wear nice clothes. We should rid ourselves of any hair that doesn’t grow from our scalp (though we are allowed big eyebrows now, aren’t we lucky?!). We should get manicures and facials and we really should eat less cake, and I don’t know about you, but I’m effing sick of it. I am done. If I want to fart and burp and walk around with dirt under my nails then I’m going to. None of that is what makes me a woman. Why should I have to prove that I’m a real woman anyway?

It’s always been strange to me that in the animal world it’s the males who have to make the effort, while we humans work the opposite way. Male animals are almost always brightly coloured and beautiful, going to great lengths to impress the ladies. I mean, have you seen those boy birds performing their little dance routines? Or the ones that spend months building the perfect little love shack, just for a shot at getting a Yes from a girl? It seems ridiculous to me that men, boys, go around telling women they are gross because they have pubic hair. Come on. Do they really think that denying us access to their genitals is a punishment? Trust me, dudes. It’s not.

One thing I’m always telling my kids is that boys and girls can look, act, and dress anyway they like. My son wears dresses often, and tends to pick out pink or purple over blue or green. That is cool. My daughter rides around on a black and orange “boy’s” bike, and spends hours playing with toy trains. That is also cool. Next week I’m going to shave off my hair, and I may not ever grow it all back again. And yeah, I think that’s cool as well.

To me, being cool is being true. True to yourself. True to your spirit. And my spirit is telling me to just let go of all this hair. So I’m gonna. With or without it, I know what it takes to be a woman. A real woman. And no matter what I look like, that is exactly what I am.

February sucked big time. I’m not even being dramatic. It was the worst. I failed at not spending money, I failed at getting a job, and I failed to stay on top of my mental health (without going into details, I missed a couple of days of medication because I “got too busy” and didn’t get my prescription filled when I should have). So. I ended up spending a good chunk of my February crying, fretting, and consuming more sugar than the average 33-year-old woman eats in a year, let alone a month. And now I’m feeling a little bit fat. Again.

It’s time to leave all that crap behind me.

Today is the first of March. The first of March makes me happy. It feels like the perfect opportunity to start over; to quit talking about not spending money, and to start talking about other things. More interesting things. For example…

I’m going to shave my head.

I’ve always talked about shaving my head. Sometimes seriously, sometimes jokingly, and sometimes just to attract a bit of attention (women wanting to shave their heads tends to be a bit of a show stopper). And though I’ve always promised myself that I’d do it some day, I don’t think I ever once considered doing it that day. For me, head shaving has been a bucket list item that I wasn’t fully prepared to tick off.

Well, eff it. I’m tired of thinking about it. I’m tired of saying One day. I’m tired of brushing irritating little baby hairs out of my face. I am done with living this hairy headed life.

When I googled Shave for a Cure this afternoon, I discovered that March is the month. Aucklanders can sign up to get their heads shaved by a “celebrity” (I use quotation marks because this is New Zealand, so it’s bound to be someone lame), while plebs like me can just go along to Farmers where a random person will turn beauties into baldies. It all sounds kind of terrifying; I signed up then and there.

Yep. I’m actually going through with this.

There’s a catch, of course (there always is). And it involves money. Your money. If you’ve got some going spare, that is… I hate to ask, because it’s awkward, but the whole point of signing up to Shave for a Cure is to raise money for people with leukaemia and other blood cancers. Maybe you could sponsor me? I set my personal goal at 1k, which is ambitious, I know. But more than 500 people reckon they like me on Facebook. And more than 1,000 people sometimes watch my videos on YouTube. And though I’m sure there’s quite a large overlap there, I feel like I could do it. I think I might be able to raise that much. You gotta set yourself goals, right? How else do you determine whether you’re a winner or a loser?

So the date’s locked in: I have 22 more days of life with hair, and then that’ll be it. I might look ugly. I might look man-ish. I might wish I hadn’t done it. But whatever happens, it’ll be okay. It’s only hair. It’s not forever. And anyway, none of that matters because there’s no going back now…

– Fern xxx

Click here to go through to my Shave for a Cure page. This is where you can show your support by sponsoring me!

In other (less important) news, this vlog will answer any questions you may have about the aforementioned job that wasn’t…

Meet Fern

I write things and I film things and I post things on the internet. I talk a lot about kids, because I have a lot of kids, but I also talk about shopping for bargains, and life in the country, and what it's like to be a little bit mental.

This is my life. The Fern Life. I may not have chosen it, but I'm glad that it chose me.

Follow Me

Recent Posts

Archives

Archives

Categories

Categories

My Latest Vlog

Become a Patron

Do you want access to exclusive Fern Life content? Head over to my Patreon account, and become a patron for as little as $1 a month. Not only will you get to have a say in the future of The Fern Life, but you'll be the first to know all the latest happenings and juiciest gossip!