Join me as I journey toward a Sustainable Present. An adventure sure to be filled with love, beauty and delicious treats!

03/27/2012

Here I sit In San Pedro La Laguna. Arrived last night around 7ish. Feels good to be back at the lake. Feels Like home. Which is great because it is after all where I will be creating a beautiful life and retreart center.

Last night I lay in bed trying to sleep, all I could hear however was a constant knocking at the door in my mind. After an hour of tossing and turning hoping the knocking would stop it only got louder. It was obvious to me that whoever it was had no plan to quit until I allowed them access to my mind. So I opened it. As soon as the door was open I knew in an instant who it was. It was the divine source of all things , Creation.

A little annoyed I asked why she must insist on coming over when I am trying to get some sleep. I mean seriously did she even know what time it was, I know I sure did.

Creation laughed, a hearty laugh I am very familiar with. YOu would think by now you would know, she said, that there is no ryhme nor reason when I come to call. I am the flow of all that is divine and itis your duty to answer my call.

And with that the door in my mind remained open as the divine began to flow, and this is what she wanted you and I to know,

03/25/2012

In Antigua again, I love how this has become a normal part of my life. I start my yoga teacher training on Sunday. I am so very excited but would be lying if I said I wasn´t nervous. I am slightly afraid actually. This is why I know it is what is right. I believe that it is what scares us the most that will set us free and transform us into who we choose to be. I am ready to transform now into one of the beautiful butterflies that i have been creating. GOD grant me the wings to fly so that I may spread love and light to the beings of this land.

I love Antigua. It never ceases to amaze me with it´s culture and it´s beauty. As I write I sit on the side of one of the many cobblestone streets that this city has to offer and write to you. Whoever it is you may be. In front of me the hussle and bussle of Antigua passes me by, Tourists and Guatemalams alike, all together, no separation. Simply beautiful!

Semana Santa is only a few weeks away and you can already feel the energy rising in this cultural city. In front of me several men, women and children join together to create one of the many sawdust carpets that the city is famous for. Bright oranges, greens and purples so far. When the parade starts later today it will be offered in prayer and marched over. A gift to the Gods perhaps.

The artisans here excite me. They fill me with joy and hope that I to may live in such a way. Being a channel for the divine to flow through. So that I too may create beauty with my own two hands.

The purpe flowers of the carpet sing to me now. They tell me in their song that they are glad to have found such a divine purpose. To be gifted to the Gods is truly a blessing. So bright is their colour that they ignite it witin my soul and my heart begins to flower. I resonate with this beings of creation, for I too have given myself to the divine So that I may be a channel for it´s love and light to shine through. For this I truly feel blessed.

Watering down more space to create a man sparyas the cobblestone street to make way for another carpet which I am sure will be equal in beauty to its sister.

I smile as I watch them lay each flower down on the street, so precise and by hand, to create their beautiful masterpiece.

The colors of the city now surround me as I take them in. The buildings and their inhabitants so bright and beautiful. It is as if a rainbow has come to life bursting into millions of tiny pieces that now give life to this picture that is before me.

What a gift to be alive and to be able to see what i now see. To be able to experience such beauty, such Love.

I give thanks everyday for this life, for this journey. I am constantly excited by what may come next and look forward to all the leaps of faith that lie ahead for me to take.

09/06/2010

IT's Sunday night, just after 11pm. The urge to write strikes again...as if something has taken over me and words begin to flood the screen.

WOW!! Pretty much sums...huh, when was my last entry again?, wooh April haha sums up the last 6 months. I have just been on a wild adventure, throwing myself into the flow of the universe. Procrastination, self-judgment are here now, I hear them, "How can you even begin to describe what you've been through...you might as well not even bother." and "Nobody cares if you write it or not."

You know what I have to say to them tonight...excuse me a moment

Me:"Listen fellahs, I'm doing it for me, it's important to me...I actually care if i do or not, because I dream of doing. Look at me do-doodlie-do!"

And here I am writing to you....whoever you might be. Faith and Trust again or close by. They whisper words of encouragement. "Baby steps, take it easy and take it slow. There is no pressure my sister friend."

When I think of them a warm sensation flows through my body, and you know I embrace it! It's like a hug, how could you not :) So baby steps...I guess that means it's time to do a little timewarp back to When I landed in Hawaii. Do-do-lu, do-do-lu, do-do-lu (those are time warping noises for future reference, and yes you will see them again)

We've landed on the moon! oh wait We landed on the big Island :) We being me and my BFF Emily, everybody give it up for Emily...Ya! IT is beautiful and sunny and smells of the tropics. Fresh, fragrant and heavenly. It was such a relief after the hilarious adventure we had on our way to Seattle and in Seattle. I call that moment in my life, The time when i entered David Bowie's labyrinth. I swear it was hilarious everything that could go wrong went wrong, every turn a detour sign. I honestly thought David himself was going to jump out from behind a bush in his slimming spandex singing " dance magic dance".

We laughed our way through it though. Always look on the bright side of life...am I right? Em and I did exactly that. We laughed when she got searched at the border and projected love and light. When we were walking around in the rain for over an hour we laughed harder. We joked that we asked the universe for an adventure and boy did she supply haha All that behind us now. Let it go let it be, because my friends we are in Hawaii!!!

We got there in the afternoon and had a couple hours to explore before our friend Karen would be arriving. So first thing we do is hitch a ride to the nearest beach so we can touch that great big beautiful ocean. We get a ride from an older gentleman, an island local and he gifts us a ride to the old airport about 10 min away where there is a beach, perfect! We had some good times, Embraced and gave thanks for this dream becoming a reality. Like literally a year before this was just an idea and here I am now in Hawaii. I actually made it, I dreamed it I believed it and *poof* created it! I realize now how successful I had felt. Powerful and uplifted as if I was on a cloud. That is the peace that Hawaii had in store for me.

Now getting back to the airport, great story. So Emily had her huge suitcase, which p.s. earlier we laughed our butts off about. I remember her saying, " Friends tell friends when they pack to much!" haha I figured it was good for her to figure it out on her own. Anywho we are trying to get back to the highway and Emily is dragging this huge suitcase hahah still laughing. We stumble upon this couple sitting out enjoying the sunset. They were super amazing and offered us a ride back to the airport. Obviously we accepted. No regrets here, we hop in the back of the pickup ( totally legal to ride in the back of a pickup in Hawaii) which is a) totally wicked and 2) they had lawn chairs for us to sit on, totally arm pump worthy and D) They offered us a beer from their cooler. Thank you universe, a phrase I find myself saying everyday since that day. Always there to provide for us all! Just have to remember to be open to her when she shows up :)

The next morning we woke up to the most amazing breakfast and view. Freshly squeezed orange juice, just thinking of it now makes me drool a little. The ocean and the morning sun rising over it . Palm trees frsh fruit and flowers iin every which direction. And oh by George I forgot to mention the awesomeness of the stars the night before, more on them later.

After a visit with our lovely host and friend we made our way to our home for the next week Ho'okena beach park.

January 24th, 2010, the time has finally come. It’s my last night in Ontario. Tomorrow I will be leaving on a jet plane with my life packed into one backpack and a guitar over my shoulder. I am heading to Vancouver first where I will stay for 2 weeks with Emily. The dream that we planted almost a year ago has now come to fruition
and we are heading to Hawaii together February 7th for what I’m sure
will be an epic adventure. After a 3 week journey around the island with Em I will be heading to Hawi where starting March 1st I will be living and working at an organic farm and Qigong meditation center.

I sit here in the basement of my parents house, snuggled up in my blankets writing to my journal. Where for the record is also where my higher self tends to reside. She never fails to be available when I come knocking at her door with my pen in hand. I tell her everything, we have no secrets, my journal is a safe place where fear and judgment cannot access. For this I am thankful.

As I sit here I feel fear trying to scramble in under my skin, reminding me that I have only $300 to my name and a one way ticket to Hawaii. I hear him say, “ You are loco, no?”, “How the heck are you going to survive and get home?”, But as I said earlier my journal is a safe place and Faith and trust quickly interject and remind me that the universe is abundant and she will always provide for me. As long as you live in the flow that is life anything you could ever need will be gifted to you, TRUST in her... I do.

They remind me that this trip is to strengthen my faith in the universe and it’s awesome power to provide for all. In order for this to work I must put my philosophy to the test, and what better way then taking off to one of the most remote islands on the planet with no money and no return ticket home. All will be as it is meant to be and I trust I will be provided for. The funny thing about life is that we all put some much energy into having money. But what is money really? All money is created from debt, which means having money leaves us swimming in a pool of debt. Once we begin to focus our energy on the ability of the universe to provide for us in ways other then gifting us with money we will truly see the awesome power that she yields and is willing to share with us. All she asks in return is that we love and trust in her in our times of need.

My higher self reassures me that on this journey I will find my truth and the grounding I need to be 100% me all the time . I am so hard on myself especially when it comes to my gifts and talents. I am constantly hearing music in my head and writing songs. I love to sing but Self-judgment always seems to get in the way whenever I think about performing for others. So one of my intentions I have set for myself on this last night in Ontario is to find my inner song and sing it for all to hear. May I create beautiful and uplifting music for all of humanity.

My higher self is constantly sending love from on high to support me, she believes in me and tells me, “Just sing!” NO focus is needed on who will like my music or on how it will provide a living for me. Just singing form my heart is all I need to do. I am a channel for the universe. Through me music will flow and whoever decides to tune into the station that I am operating from will be gifted the truth that flows through me. If it’s no-one that is okay. I am not looking to be popular I just love to create and sing.

I have long been interested in Sound therapy, especially the field of healing with our voice. I believe the human voice is one of the most powerful healing instruments on the planet. We so often create instruments and machines that aid us in healing outside ourselves but I truly believe that the only instrument we need to heal ourselves and our planet is our own voice. Each persons voice is most powerful for them. We have been gifted this awesome power and I choose to dive further into this unknown abyss and shine light onto it for all to see.

What other intentions have I set for this beautiful journey that is now at my feet…*Live in harmony with our mother. Living off the grid and with the land has long been a dream of mine. The way I see it the planet is just an extension of our selves. We must treat her like an equal and be conscious of the effect our everyday actions have on her. I am reminded here of the quote, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." the planet is alive and she too is one of us, may we all begin to apply this statement to her as well.*Finding someone who is walking the same path as me to share the awesomeness that is life with. I feel his presence and believe we are already walking hand in hand. It is just a matter of time before his face is revealed to me. I believe in a love that lasts and I believe it starts with allowing yourself to remain independent. Both growing together but separately as one. I read a great quote in a book when I first arrived here in Hawaii, the three secrets to life:1) having somewhere to go 2) having something to look forward to and 3) someone to share it with. I am now in a place where I am open to love and it’s healing powers. Bring it on universe I’ve spent 7 years healing myself to get me to where I am and I am no longer afraid. The Beatles said it best when they sang, "Love is all you need."

03/21/2010

23 Westriver road, Walkerton Ontario, sometime at the beginning of February 2009. My apologies ahead of time for I don’t remember many if any of the details but what I do remember is Emily and I discussing ever so excitedly a trip to Hawaii that we would love to take in a years time.

Both of us thinking how incredible amazing and uplifting a trip like that would be, but in the back of our minds thinking, “ How the heck are we going to pull this one off". Up until that point Emily and I were quite familiar with our new friend manifestation but still not a 100% sure on his ability to show up when called upon.

At this time I was still just making it by (financially). I had a job I loved at a small cafe in uptown Waterloo, was in my last semester at the University of Waterloo and between tuition and rent I had just enough money left over to get enough groceries to sustain my somewhat simple but ever exciting life. Emily was also in the same boat financially she had just moved back in with her parents and was trying to figure out a way in which she might make some money in life. Little did we know however that our conversation that day early in February was all it took for that seed, our dream of traveling to Hawaii, to be planted.

After that day of dreaming of far off places, sandy beaches, tropical fruit and hammocks between palm trees I, to be quite honest with you, never thought that much about Hawaii again. As of then it was a dream, a new dream for me, who before only ever dreamed of traveling to South America never once thinking about the islands people have come to know as paradise. I was almost certain that when I graduated my first journey would be to Peru or Chile. As soon as I could get the chance, as soon as I was free form the institution that was University.

It wouldn’t be until months later when I was aboard a bus from Banff to Vancouver when I would again begin to nurture that seed that I had planted months before in early February.

I was sitting on the greyhound on route to Vancouver, where I have only ever been once before in my life and I think I was 11 or 12. Around Golden BC I had made a new friend on the bus. I can’t for the life of me remember the name of this man who was about to set in motion a chain of events that I think have been in the cards since before I was born. He was a kind, older gentleman. He was friendly and open to discussing his life. He has been traveling for most of it and for the past 8 years he had been vacationing form his home on Vancouver island in Hawaii. He would go every winter and camp and live on the beaches there for $5 a night. “FIVE DOLLARS!", I exclaimed, " that’s incredible!” I had always envisioned life in paradise to be extremely expensive and unattainable and now here I am sitting with a man who tells me it costs only $5 a night to camp, and on a beach about 20ft from the ocean. Was this for real? Am I dreaming? I pinched myself, OUCH, the pain ran up my neurons did a little hop at the spinal cord and again at the thalamus, where it continued upward to the sensory area of my brain. I was awake and the answer was yes, this is for real!

Again I found myself drifting into this dreamland, where Hawaii was the central point. Only this time I was camping in a tent and living on the beach .Waking up and falling asleep to the sound of the oceans powerful waves crashing onto the beach a mere 20ft from where I lay. I hadn’t realized it then but I had just nurtured my original dream, the seed that I had planted months before, with exactly what it needed to grow. Love and imagination.

It was July meow, and I had just arrived in Tofino with some girlfriends. They had flown into Vancouver to meet me and we planned a road trip to the west coast of Vancouver Island. It was late on a Wednesday night when we pulled into town. We stayed at a hotel that we found and decided that the next day we would find a campground and set up shop for the next couple of days there. It was on a Friday morning that it happened. I had maybe $20 to my name (ha-ha that’s being generous) and as I sat at the beach listening to the waves I heard a voice, no-one was around, again I heard the voice. It was coming from within me. “You are meant to stay here, go into town and you will be blessed with a job and a place to stay.” It told me. Now this might seem strange to some but I am so use to this voice talking with me that I now acknowledge it as a real person, my higher self. And She always knows what is right and has yet to pull any fast ones over on me just for kicks. There is never and cruel laughter following her words and never once has she called me a sucker for listening to her and followed it up with a, “Man how easy it was to get you to fall for that one”. So I trusted her.

I set off for the day leaving the girls to do whatever it was they pleased and promised to meet them for dinner later in the day. I set my intention on finding a job and a place to stay. Manifestation decided to join me that morning. She walked right by my side the whole time. We laughed and joked like old pals and walked on, a little skip in our step whistling while we went. There was never any doubt in my mind I would find what I was looking for.

Then it happened my first meeting with who I like to call one of my many soul mates. I use this term not in the romantic sense, that it is so often confused with, but as a way to describe anyone who is a true reflection of your inner truth and who is about to play a huge role in your life for the betterment of your evolution. So there I was face to face with her at the bakery asking if they were hiring. She was beautiful and amazingly personable, I loved her right away. This meeting only lasted a moment (they weren’t hiring) and then I was off on my search again.

After landing a job at the second place I entered I decided to take a walk. What happened next was incredible, I swear the sign pinned to the bulletin board on my left came to life. It popped off the wall and introduced itself as if it were a real person, “ Hello there”, it said. “ I am Celestial Sphere, a beautiful little shop that you will find at the other end of this little alley way you see to your right”.

“Why thank you Mr. Sphere”, addressing it as if it were a real person, and Manifestation and I walked through the alley, whistling a way as usual. The store was amazing. It was filled with gorgeous dresses, crystals, jewellery and much more. I was only looking around for what felt like 5 minutes when who walks in but the beautiful young girl form the bakery. I introduced myself at once, something inside me told me this girl is going to be someone to you and this second meeting is no accident, there is no such thing. This is divine timing at it’s best. Now that I look back at it I’m pretty sure it was manifestation who was whispering those words into my ear.

Her name was Brittany and we immediately hit it off. We talked for a while and then it came, synchronicity, like a tidal wave it feel upon us. We both had the same dream and it was traveling to Hawaii! Watering this tiny seed that was my dream again with more love and imagination I felt it begin to grow. A tiny sapling poking her head out from the soil, ready to grow even more and one day blossom into a beautiful fruit tree.

About a month and a half had passed and I’d been debating on whether or not Hawaii was actually the next step for me. Was it truly the place my higher self wished me to go next to further my evolutionary growth and strengthen the slight connection that I had begun to form with her. At this point I had a very strong desire to also travel to New Zealand and was thinking that maybe it was there that I was meant to travel to next.

So one morning before work I said to my higher self, “ Self, what’s next for me, where is it that I should travel to next? What will be the best place for me to strengthen our connection and continue evolving this soul of mine?”.

“Well sister friend”, she always called me this because she thought of us not only as sister’s but friends, “I think that if you set your intention and asked the universe for a sign, that you might just find the answer you are looking for”. So that is exactly what I did. That day at work, and I shit you not, 3 different customers spoke to me about Hawaii, heck one guy even gave me a pamphlet he had with him. I didn’t even bring it up. It was if the universe was holding up a huge flashing sign, you know like the ones you see advertising XXX dancers on the outside of a strip club, except on this sign there was no mention of naked ladies, it only held one word and that word was HAWAII!!

It was right then and there that I knew in my heart the answer to my questions. I knew where the next adventure I would be taking would lead me. I stepped out of myself and again watched as the sapling began to grow even bigger, my dream was so much closer to me now, I could taste it and it tasted of fresh coconut and mango deliciousness…

I have long been friends with Procrastination. He has grown up by my side for as long as I can remember and has never done me and really harm, or any real good for that matter. He is the son of someone we all know very well, Fear and has a twin brother who also tags along with us wherever we go, Judgement. Now don’t get me wrong these guys have been my boys for as long as I can remember but honestly I’m getting a little tired of them living off my vibes. I’ve started to notice a lot lately how they are the opposite of good friends and how they really are just here to put me down and keep me from achieving any real goals in my life. But tonight was different, little did I know but two beautiful ladies where about to enter my life leaving Judgment and Procrastination running for the hills with their tails between their legs. Maybe it wouldn‘t be the end of them, but forever would I have these two angels at my side to help fend them off next time they popped into my life.

So I was sitting here at the computer thinking to myself, “Self, how the heck am I suppose to start this blog off, there has been so much happening I just don’t know where to begin??”“ Just write whatever you feel and trust that you will relay the message you want” self tells me“ Ha!” pipes in procrastination, “just forget about it, Trust schmust! If you can’t think of where to start why even start at all tonight, just write it tomorrow.”

“Ya”, tosses in judgment, “ and do you honestly think anyone cares anyway, it’s not as if anything you have to say matters to anyone.”

I ponder this for a second as I often do. Usually I lower my head in agreement with the two, as I have done so many times in the past and agree. But something inside me tonight is different, something has changed, there is a new presence to my left. One so uplifting and strong I can’t help but be enveloped by it. I turn to see. There to my left stand two of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my whole life. One with beautiful brown locks flowing down to her bottom and they other with luscious blond locks that flow to just above her navel. I can hardly make out there faces they are shining so brightly, a beauty one could only dream of attaining. I knew straight away without any introduction who they were, Faith and Trust, the daughter’s of Love and Peace ( real good bunch this family, if they were grapes they’d be those gigantic, juicy, moth-watering type just waiting to burst with flavor inside your mouth). I feel the power of their presence take over me, there is no need for them to speak. Finally the words come to me as if a they were a bolt of lightning. They burst from my mouth, “You know what you two, I have had just about up to here with your BullS**T. I am just gonna write whatever the heck I want. I’m sure there are people out there interested in what I am up to, my family for one, besides this blog is mainly for me anyhow.”

Procrastination was pushed back with such force by these words that he now resided with his heels over his head on the floor after being knocked over in his chair. They both look at me in amazement and that’s when I said, in the words of my niece after being put in a time-out by my sister, “ Boys we is not true friends anymo!”

A new Dawn approaches here at Kokolulu (a beautiful farm and wellness centre located in Hawi, Hawaii). I awaken to the sounding of our neighborhood rooster who proudly greets the new day with a little cock-a-doddle-doing. It’s almost 5am. It seems this is the time my internal clock has decided to set it’s morning alarm to because I find myself up at this time everyday, sometimes even earlier. Must have something to do with my early bedtimes. I try to be asleep around 10pm. Lights out here is around 9pm due to the fact that we are running on both wind and solar power. Which is no big deal to me really. I’d rather be off the grid than staying awake until all hours of the night like I use to. I kind of like this new routine I am getting into. It’s refreshing. Something about waking up with my rooster friend to greet the new dawn is uplifting, I must admit I sometimes through in a cock-a-doddle do of my own to welcome another new day that has been gifted to me through the grace of the universe.

After my morning wake up I lay in bed and listen to the endless symphony of birds that have decided to serenade me as well on this beautiful morning. I am grateful that the choose to practice their many scores just outside my window. I love their songs and sometimes choose to join in with them too.

I am and always have been a huge fan of waking up slow, so even though I have been up since 5 I choose to lay in bed until at least 7. Call me lazy if you want but until you try the awesomeness that is waking up slow you will never truly understand the pleasure that it brings. Sometimes on the other hand I find myself writing or reading. Heck I will wake up at like 1 am sometimes and have the urge to write a song and so I do. I have learned that when those creative juices flow there is nothing to do but honor them no matter what the time and just give in and let whatever wants to come out of me pour out onto the page in front of me.

It’s March 18th, Lew’s birthday, and Karin has whisked him away for the night to the Marriot where her daughter works. Her daughter was able to get them a room for $60 a night instead of the regular $250 plus, which is what it regularly costs. I am glad for them to have a couple of days together alone and free form the farm. They work so very hard here at Kokolulu making sure everything runs smoothly. The deserve this J. I have now been at the farm for about 3 weeks and am loving it. Lew and Karin have decided to take me on as their adopted daughter which I couldn’t be more happy about. They are wonderful individuals and I am learning so much from them.

Now before I go to much further I’d like you all to jump into my Delorean with me, do up your seat belts and get ready to take off to a little place I like to call ‘The beginning of it all‘, February 2009. Double check the flux capacitor, fuel gage full, all system’s ago, hang on tight because here we go….