Wednesday, March 30, 2011

No, that's not a spelling error. This is how it is pronounced here, by quite a few eunthusiasts.
Cricket and Math. are much the same for me- they both deal with obscure (to me) numbers which I just can't understand- hence both are dealt with supreme indifference. I know I might get lynched for not liking cricket- anti-cricket is almost anti-Christ here- but honestly how can one like something one doesn't understand? What IS the fun staring at folks standing, squinting in the sun, looking at a ball and another guy hitting it..........but like they say, each man to his own.
But I would say one thing for the game, introduced ironically by our oppressors-the Brits - btw, whose worst things we copied quickly but didn't give a second glance to the qualities which we should have, but that is digressing...
About the game, yes, it is almost magical how it brings people together. Last night, we were at this joint- the customers, the waiters, the cooks (that explains my undercooked uttapam) everybody was engrossed, every eye fixed on the TV on the wall, every sigh, every 'Yay! India' synchronized!! And on the way back, people thronged the usually empty paan-shop as he did a brisk business while people absently ordered paans, their attention wholly fixed on the small TV inside the shop.
If we could join hands like this against corruption, ineffeciency, red-tape..................
Too good to be true?
Who knows?
:)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

“Well…I like small towns like ….., they have so many things which glitzy metros don’t…like, y’know…they’re so peaceful and…and…and….”

Got the gist? Life in a small town has ‘so much’ to offer, we start and after saying ‘peaceful’ , we come to a dead-end.

Like they say, the grass is always greener on the etc. etc. Friends who drop in here for a few days, gush and I mean GUSH…”Wow, you’re so lucky, living here!” Followed invariably by the query, “Could I invest in some property here?”

You could, buddy. If you’re ready to put up with some inconvenient truths.

We are a peaceful place and people and that is the beginning and end of the story. If you’re on the verge of retiring or already retired you’ll like it here. Invest in a chartered helicopter and you’re all set. Why helicopter? How else do you intend to reach New Delhi or Jaipur instantly in case of a medical emergency? You know anything can happen at that age and a train or taxi or an ambulance will take you 3+ hours. You might as well say goodbye to your folks when you leave, you never know, you know… We have hospitals, of course. What do you take us for? But somehow……….you get it?

You could also come here if you want to study, because we apparently have the maximum numbers of educational institutes here. Schools, colleges, professional, technical institutes…you name it, we have it. You/your kids will have a lovely time here and will be able to compete with the best anywhere in the world, provided they are self-sufficient, y’know, self-motivated, dedicated individuals who find their own way, without expecting any expert help from the hallowed institutions. Or if they are doing the ‘professional’ courses, they have to have Budhdha-like zen, contentment of the highest order, and of course they should know better than to compare (and cringe in horror) with the lakhs they pay for the education to the thousands they’ll earn (if at all) after graduating from here. Of course, we have opportunities for the young, just don’t ask what kind. A small town teaches you contentment like nothing else.

That brings me to another virtue- patience……which we small-towners have in abundance. But we’ll take it up tomorrow, ok? See, your first lesson of patience. J

"I've never kept any maid, I do EVERYTHING myself" (accompanied with a proud smile)
"I have a washing-machine, but I wash clothes by hand" ( acc. by a virtuous smile)
"The mixy (mixer) is ok but nothing to compare to the masala ground on 'silbatta' " (acc. with a fie-on-you-you mixy-hound look)
"I spend two hours at the temple, writing "Ram' a thousand times everyday" (this one's son is a step short of a juvenile deliquent, but maybe that's why the thousand 'Ram's are required!)
"I make everything at home, nobody at home will even look at store-bought sweets and snacks" ( acc. with a horrified you-inflict-store- bought- samosa- on- your family' look)
"My husband misses me if I go away even for a day" (Implied meaning- yours doesn't because you don't hang out his towel or wash his shaving brush for him)
"Her daughter-in-law talks to everybody, mine doesn't step out of the house without my permission!" ( acc. with, you got it...a PROUD smirk)

Just a few ways small town ladies keep so occupied and fit!!! And the one reason why Ekta Kapoor still reigns!