Wednesday, January 3, 2007

"The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." - Geo. W. Bush

"I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." - Bill Clinton

"Don't worry baby, it's only a cold sore." - Monday Morning Punter

Now we can add this whopper to this list:

"I'm not going to be the Alabama coach." - Nick Saban

That's right kids, Saban is going to Bama, all the while hoping he has a Pete Carroll-esque reputation rehab in his future. He sorely needs one because right now he looks like a liar, quitter-- and a loser to boot. Have fun jumping every time one of those fat redneck Bama boosters says so. Rammer jammer yellow hammer and all that.

Sabes sez:Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitchesI'll recruit my army from the orphan-itches

Many KSK readers in South Florida have reported seeing flames in the sky over Key Biscayne; we can confirm this is Saban burning his NFL bridges.

Now the Fish need a new coach. Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga may have gotten some ideas while watching last night's Orange Bowl. I've got some friendly advice for Wayne Huizenga: Don't come to Louisville, Blockbuster Boy-- your ghetto pass is hereby revoked. Don't call anyone in the 502. Make other plans for the Derby. You stick to that, Wayne, and everything else is cream cheese.

I love that quote from the coach in Teen Wolf...."There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese."--Coach Finstock

That report on the flames over Key Biscayne is actually just the giant hemorrhoid fate has dealt us down here in Miami. Saban’s gone, Pat Riley is out and Daunte Culpepper & Joey Harrington are still our quarterbacks.

Welcome to the state of Alabama. There is another coach just down the road who said almost the exact same thing before he split for the plains. Fuck you Tommy, and no I am not bitter because we have Ed Orgeron now.

I love how Saban stared directly into the ground when saying he wouldn't coach @ alabama.

Let's see, Alabama fired Don Shula's kid to create the opening. And Saban ditched the Dolphins, whose most famous coach was, Don Shula. Yeah, I'd be making reservations at one of his steakhouses real soon if I were that slimebag.