Today marks the beginning of a new special feature here on the Blog of Funny Names, the 32-part, probably never to be completed, but earnestly begun Funniest Names in the NFL Project. Or FNITNFLP. Which co-incidentally is the second most common last name in the Czech Republic. Live and learn, blog readers!

We begin this magnificent* project with the home town team of this blog’s founders. Or adopted hometown for 1/3 of them. That would be the championship hogging powerhouse that is the San Diego Chargers. Check out the five greatest names currently on the roster.

Tenny Palepoi

Tenny is a Salt Lake City- born defensive end who just joined the Chargers this year. Utah isn’t the only thing verifying the “pale” part of his name, as he also attended Snow College in the Beehive State, playing for the Snow College Badgers during his time there.

Danny Woodhead

This hard-headed running back is from North Platte, Nebraska. He grew up relishing competitiveness in a tight rivalry with South Platte, NE (I’m sure). Woodhead joined the Chargers last season after stints with the New York Jets and the New England Patriots, but he’s unfortunately likely out for the season this time around with a broken fibula. Ouch.

Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe means business.

Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe

Undoubtedly the best name currently on the roster, Tjong-a-Tjoe is another Charger currently out of action due to injury. Born in Amsterdam in the Netherlands, where another type of football is a bit more popular, Tjong-a-Tjoe attended high school in Boise, Idaho and after graduating elected to stay in Idaho to attend college at Boise State. He is now inspiring wonderful Tjong-a-Tjoe inspired rhymes in San Diego beat poetry clubs.

Kwame Geathers

The finely named Kwame Geathers comes from genuine football stock. His uncle Jumpy Geathers also played in the NFL as did his father and cousin. This will be his second season in San Diego, where he hopes to impress not just with his 6’6 frame and his bloodline, but also with some interpretive dance material he has been working on for half time entertainment. That last part is something we’re hoping is true, but can offer no guarantees.

D.J Fluker

The offensive tackle Daniel Lee Jesus “D.J” Fluker has anything but fluked his way into the San Diego team. A first round pick in 2013 out of the University of Alabama, Fluker is an all-round athlete who in high school also recorded stand-out scores in shot put.

Like this:

LikeLoading...

About Arto

Co-founder of the Funny Names Blog, Hawaiian shirt enthusiast, and holder of a funny name himself with too many vowels for any sensible person. Currently residing in San Diego, California, scouring through obscure documents on a hunt for more funny names.
www.funnynamesblog.wordpress.com

No contest: Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe. Like Jared with Subway, I think Ricky could do great things as pitchman for Jamba Juice. Just say it out loud (or in your head, wdydfae): “I’m Ricky Tjong-a-Tjoe for Jamba Juice, telling you kids to try our new Fit ‘N Fruitful™ Smoothies, packed wiith fourteen vitamins & minerals, giving you strength to pound the defense.”

🙂
One more thing with which I take issue. Daniel Lee Fluker is already a name. To his parents: you’re done. People have three names. That’s the rule. That’s how we know who killed Kennedy and Lincoln. Three names. The fourth is not necessary. It’s like they named him Daniel Lee Fluker and then the epidural hadn’t worn off and she was like, “Let’s throw Jesus in there, too.” What? And you can’t nickname him DJ because it’s not DJ! It’s DLJ!

Evidently, his family fled New Orleans just hours before Hurricane Katrina hit, so he’s lucky to be alive. And have you google imaged him? When he smiles, he looks like the happiest hippo you’ve ever seen.

Your post has some serious competition from the comment thread. Love how FNITNFLP is being flipped (like pancakes 🙂 ) around and has even been trademarked in the short time between your writing and Kerbey’s comment. That’s some serious progress. Don’t tell me BoFN won’t change the world.

Hope you got your smoothie. And good work on the names. I like them all and will not pick a favorite. Though having an uncle named Jumpy must score points somehow.