Katy Perry wants babies, y’all. Of course, it was only a few months ago (in September) when Katy pulled a baby bait-and-switch on Russell Brand by saying that she wanted kids “in the very far future,” and now it seems that Katy’s tune has changed yet again. While she’s not exactly raving about getting pregnant right this second (although some gossip sites would have you believe that she’s looking pretty knocked up already), Katy is talking about the possibility of gestation in more generous terms than usual. It’s all a ruse, probably, and an attempt to counteract all ofthosepersistentsplitrumors that won’t stop until they get it right.

So how exactly does one of the most overrated pop stars in the world deal with the fact that one’s husband has ceased wearing his wedding ring in public? Oh, that’s easy. Just start raving about babies because, you know, that’s the easiest way to save a failing marriage. Eyeroll.

And yet before long, someone may very well be calling pink-haired Katy
and her irreverent British hubby Mom and Dad.

Appearing on The Ellen DeGeneres Show this past week, the “I Kissed a
Girl” songbird was asked if she’d like a family.

“Yeah, I would love to have children,” Katy, who turned 27 on Oct. 25, replied.

“I think that’s one of the reasons you get married, especially to the
person that you marry,” she added. “You think, ‘That person is going
to be a good partner, a good parent.’ ”

Russell, of course, has already gone on the record to say, “I would
one day like to become a father,” so they’re clearly on the same page.

And it looks as if – provided all goes well – Katy and Russell won’t
stop at one child. When Ellen asked if she wants “a lot of kids,” Katy
quipped, “If it doesn’t hurt the first time… I’ll keep popping them
out.”

What kind of parents will the unconventional couple turn out to be?

“Oh, my God, I think they’ll be outrageously fun, out-of-the-box
parents,” Debbie Gibson, who appears in Katy’s “Last Friday Night”
video, tells OK!. “But I think both of them, while they do have a
sense of fun, they’re really grounded, solid people, and I think
that’s great. Having met both of them, I totally get why they’re
together, and I love it.

“I imagine the two of them will always be very childlike, so I can’t
see them being too rigid. It’s going to be a fun-loving household.”

Did anyone else read Russell’s hopeful statement about someday becoming a father and wonder whether he’s not already a father without even knowing it? I mean, the guy used to sleep with 90 women per month. At this point, it’s almost statistically impossible that not even one of his boys has succeeded in infiltrating an ovum. Then again, most of us were collectively surprised when Hugh Grant became a father for the first time at age 51, and Kaiser was right on with her surprise that Hugh hadn’t yet had a vasectomy. So maybe it is possible that Russell’s sperm has been, uh, saving itself for Katy. Ugh. I still think she’s only saying that she wants a ton of kids in an attempt to stop the rumors of her marriage’s demise.

Incidentally, Katy is quite good at faking many things. For instance, she sort of flubbed playing the recorder on “GMA,” but several YouTube commenters mention that Katy routinely performs this stunt in concert. If this really is a joke, it’s about as funny as Russell’s lame Candian entry joke from a few months back.

‘Picture your parents. Okay, now picture your parents as Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Impossible, right? They’re just way too cool.’
ROFLOL. Yeah, that must be it. These too are ‘too cool’ to have kids.

‘Picture your parents. Okay, now picture your parents as Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Impossible, right? They’re just way too cool.’
ROFLOL. Yeah, that must be it. These two are ‘too cool’ to have kids.

I don’t even care about their marriage or whether they have as many babies as the Duggars – they both seem to have grating personalities. My main concern is her OUTFIT, and that hair that makes her stupid face look even stupider. Why does she have so little awareness of what makes her look – not good, but less awful – and what makes her look like a cow-faced prat?

Ever since I saw Adele in concert, I have a newfound contempt for Katy Perry’s musical abilities. It’s amazing how far she’s come with such a bizarely crappy voice. Hope she doesn’t wear shoes like that while she’s pregnant!

She sounds like Miley Circus, I can’t get past that. Sad to say, but Nikki Major-pain-to-look-at does the “crazy and cute” style way more convincing that Katy. She’s always going to be the Poor Man’s “Someone Else” in terms of talent and media.

Good luck getting knocked up for media buzz. Can’t wait to see how she dresses then. What a hot mess!

Marjalane you know its all marketing marketing marketing and just plain tolerance for bad taste. I don’t see this trick lasting more than a few years; she’s milked last august’s cd for all its worth, and lucky you for seeing adele live since her surgery is going to put her out of commission for aa while.

I know haters gotta hate, but I actually like Katy Perry in spite of myself, for the same reason I ended up liking Gaga — I enjoy women that have a good sense of humor about themselves, and life in general. She seems like she’s having fun!

I can’t hate on ‘em. They seem like they have a lot of fun and whether they want kids now or later, doesn’t make a difference. What’s wrong with them enoying each other, their fame and just partying for now? Answer: NOTHING.

She has been looking quite pregnant these days. I saw some photos of her posted by the Fug girls and there’s a bump, even though it could be just a weight gain, since Katy is a normal looking girl. And just yesterday I caught some photos of a party she threw with friends and Russell, she was in a cowgirl costume and he was dressed as an Indian. They looked like they were having fun. I think it was on JustJared, not sure.

The b-day pics. Yeah I thought Russell wouldn’t be so culturally insensitive. But he’s been saying and doing a lot of stupid things since he hooked up with Katy. Next year I guess it’s going to be blackface. Looks real fun!

She’s definitely popped. Let’s hope the nasty little thing doesn’t get FAS. If she’s big enough to show, then she was pregnant when she was hitting the bottle hard not just a few weeks ago. Smart move Russell. He’ll be paying for this mistake for the rest of his life. I’m sure he does have a kid. For some reason I think she might have one two. She disappeared from the scene for a while around 2005 and no one heard from her for the amount of time it would have taken. But I wouldn’t wish those kid’s identities to be revealed. They must have life hard enough.

Once again, Russell DOES NOT HAVE THE GUTS to end this marriage and she will cling until she drives him to an early grave. She already fu*&ed up his career by embarrassing him endlessly for the last two years. Wait until she forces him to let her co-star in a movie that he puts his own money behind that flops. Then we’ll really see the carnage full force.

People that used to watch Russell in the early days know he used to be semi-coherent. Now the inevitable course of events will be that he will have fight after fight with her until he falls off sobriety. With his absence, she’ll go back to her career and turn into Xtina, and their children will go to her holy rollers parents and grow up even more ignorant than their mother. You’d think that Russell would give a crap about his children. But I have no respect for him if he’s leaving his own children to a life sentence to having this whore as their mother. No one deserves that, especially one of his innocent little chromosomes.

Whoever wrote this post really hates Katy. At the risk of being banned I like her, specifically her music. I don’t follow her personal life so I don’t care if she’s pregnant or not. Also Katy doesn’t sound like she’s changing her tune. She’s always said she wanted kids just not anytime soon.

I think Liza is just putting the bitch in Celebitchy. Or mocking everyone that’s actually speculating on these two like they’re not lab manufactured puppets. But come on, that’s what most people secretly would like to happen. And it’s kind of what’s been happening already. Russell has looked, um, well strange since he’s been with Katy. It’s only until recently that he’s looked close to human. Good luck to them, I say as long as they stay together, they can’t eff up anyone else’s lives. Disappearing and ceasing from polluting my radio and movie theatre with toxic waste wouldn’t hurt too.

I’m not sure I agree with EVERY part of Liza’s post, but definitely agree about KP making Russell look like an idiot these past couple years. I was a fan of him long before he hooked up with her, and I used to really admire his intelligent, wordy form of comedy. Now he just seems like a joke. Underneath, I think he is still the same guy, but being partnered with her has almost completely ruined his appeal as a ‘persona’, for me. Yes, I know a lot of people will say they never liked him to begin with, he’s sleazy, unfunny, blah blah … but those who liked him a few years ago will know exactly what I mean!

This is a guy who can reference Lewis Carroll, Baudelaire, and Derrida in his standup, a guy who did a documentary about Jack Kerouac. He can give a dizzyingly articulate monologue on pretty much anything in the world. And now he’s shackled to a dumb broad who can’t spell or write to save her life. She recently called Russell “my FOWL mouthed husband.” I don’t think she was referring to him eating a lot of poultry, either.

I’ll always resent Katy for ruining so much of my enjoyment of Russell. I don’t care if he’s single or not — I’d be glad to see him settled down with someone, if she was someone I could at least halfway respect, rather than the vacuous, dimwitted tart he ended up with.

I co-sign the Russell looking like an idiot thought. And it’s not just that he’s an idiot now, but he’s become the exact thing he used to mock. Despite his attempts to do the whole wild man routine, he used to be an intelligent voice of reason. He was never just a shock comic or someone who wouldn’t call out BS. Now he seems to have no trouble spouting the BS he used to make fun of. The thing about Russell that I just don’t get is that they’ve been together for two years now and it seemed to me that he looked off and on like he was under some sort of duress for most of the time. They just don’t work as a couple, even though I also don’t see him capable of being with a woman that wasn’t a half-wit. What relatively rational woman would gamble on a relationship with him? A lot of women that are smart think he’d be fun for a couple of weeks on holiday, but who could honestly admit that you wouldn’t want to put a GPS on his d*ck the minute you had to go to work in the morning? So I don’t see an alternative for him. Maybe she is what he wants because he defines smart as having an ability to make money based on nothing.

Seeing him in that (basically racist) outfit from her birthday and hearing constant comments from her like the “fowl” mouthed thing (which to me sounds like a weird unintentional blow job/cock joke) that she wrote ostensibly in support of him while at the same time undermining him as nothing more than a shock comic that needs censorship, in addition to her boasting about being plastered when he has to do a tribute to a friend that died from alcohol addiction, is just so negative I can’t even with her. She is 27 and she acts worse than an average 16 year old. I don’t know whether to feel sorry for him or to have contempt for him because he knows better and she never will.

For long time fans of the ‘old’ Russell, we know he cut ties to several people who basically wrote and roped him in. Could it be that what we thought was Russell was actually the scripted wit of others and this is his real personality? That’s my big question. My fear (if I actually gave a sh*t) is that Russell is legit in the relationship and actually is ‘in love’ with her and one day wakes up after several years and feels like he’s gone down the wrong road and there’s no way back. And if he’s not legit in this relationship, he should cut this b*tch loose and produce some decent films and do a full stand-up tour, not just a handful of last minute gigs. Most people would scoff at this but he at one point seemed like his career would thrive based on his intelligence and instead he’s gone the tacky Kardashian road.

Maybe it’s just another case of the Hollywood vapidity machine claiming another victim.

Oh Mallory, you’ve totally summed up so much of what I think (but didn’t say in my previous post). You’re right about Russell becoming what he used to mock. Remember him talking about how meaningless award shows are, just a couple years ago? He hosted them but he knew they were absurd. He did a great standup bit about how all the winners thank ‘God,’ as if any all-knowing deity would actually give a shit that Lil Wayne or Britney won a video award. And now here he is, supporting his dumb-as-fuck wife who actually gives those speeches in all sincerity. And he wrote in his 2nd book about how he’s learned to be sensitive to “blasphemy” because of her. Nothing kills a comedian faster than having to limit his subject matter so as not to offend his selectively religious wife (who thinks it’s ok to dress like a whore while wearing a cross, but not to use Jesus’s name in vain) and his creepy Bible-beating in-laws.

As for his previous comedy being scripted by others, I would say yes and no. He did have Matt Morgan writing a lot of his scripted bits, but to me Russell was always funniest when NOT scripted, when just riffing with Matt on their radio show or going off on a tangent in an interview. That was definitely the real Russell. Matt reined him in and was the perfect foil for him though, so I really miss that partnership.

I don’t have a huge problem with him going the Hollywood route for a few years, and I actually like most of the films he’s done so far, but he’s really gotta step it up in terms of smart choices if he wants to last. And yeah, why not do a real standup tour instead of this half-assed handful of dates? I can’t even get started on that topic. I think the people managing him must be idiots — even if he’s lost his way, isn’t it their job to set him straight?

I really hope the speculations on Celebitchy about this marriage being close to the end are true…it might be the only way I’ll regain some of my respect for ol’ Russ.