I’d like to begin this real-time, live session of Pioneer Woman by asking myself a series of questions.

Hi, Ree. It’s Ree.
Oh, hi! (waving)

Nice braces.
Oh…why, thank you! I just polished them up right before this 8th grade portrait was taken.

In the photo, WHAT are you LOOKING at? I have to know.
Shut up and leave me alone.

_____________________

Okay, that’s the end of my self-interrogation. I really didn’t achieve any closure, but I’ll worry about that next year when I start having nightmares about googly eyeballs.

I’m here to answer your questions tonight.

They don’t have to be questions about me; in fact, I can’t imagine anything on earth I haven’t already answered. You can ask me about baby names, recipes you’d like to try,

I’ll check the comments section, randomly select questions (I’ll start with a few questions asked earlier today) and answer as many as I can until my metacarpals seize up and I develop my first pressure sore—say an hour or two. Or nineteen hours, if I want.

The country is very lonely and quiet. I love it. I love it so much.

Questions and answers will update here constantly.

Commence to start! (Name that movie.)

Is your first name really Lori?
Um, no.

How is Lady doing?
She is perfect, beautiful, sweet, and has been herding my three bottle calves for kicks.

Do you think you’ll retire on the ranch or move into the city?
I’ve learned not to make plans or have expectations beyond lunch tomorrow.

If your last name was Riley and you were having twins, one boy and one girl, what would you name them?
Girl: Vivian Boy: (I’ll get back with you on this one)

How old is Josh?
I honestly don’t know, but if I had to guess I’d say 33 to 37. What a range! (No pun intended.)

Do you ever feel hopeless?
Never. Except for about 46 minutes every month. It goes away really quickly.
Sorry, men.

How do you make such amazing recipes and stay so thin?
I’m really not thin. I’m larger than I’d like to be. I’m Large Marge. I’m Rotunda. I jiggle.

Okay, now I feel hopeless.

I had posters of Shawn Cassidy, Michael Jackson Thriller and Mork from Ork on my wall as a kid……..what did you have on your wall?
Adam Ant, Billy Idol, and the Soloflex guy. (I’m still a little ashamed about the Adam Ant thing.)

How do the punks relate to your brother Mike? Will he live at the ranch eventually?
My punks love Mike. I would love for Mike to come live with us if that’s where life takes us. He’d do my laundry, which would be really awesome. And I could mess with him 24 hours a day.

How do you and Signore Marlboro find time, you know, for, you know, each other, you know, with all those kids running around?
What do you mean?

Did you try Vegemite when you were in Australia? If you did, what did you think of it?
I bought a jar and brought it home and wanted to like it. I wanted so, so badly to like it. But I didn’t. I tried and tried. Maybe I needed a lesson. I ate it on vanilla ice cream—was that the wrong approach?

Have you ever seen Bruce Springsteen live?
I’m still here, aren’t I? No. If I’d seen Bruce live, I would have died on the spot. Died a blissful death.

Baby, we were born to run. That’s all I have to say about that.

Does MM read your site regularly and how does he feel about your very generous give-aways?
He’s all for it, but he gets mad when I don’t let him enter. Then I spank him and make him stand in the corner.

What do you say to your kids if the’re picky eaters?
When they ask if they can have something else, I LOVE saying, “This is not a diner.” It empowers me and makes me feel like I have control over my immediate destiny.

You mentioned once that you would go to a passover seder. Would you want to come to mine out in NY?
I used to go to seders with my friends in Los Angeles. I would go to one every year if I could find one within 50 miles.

Your oldest daughter cracks me up. How would you feel if she decided to have a blog of her own sometime in the not so distant future?
Pioneer Girl? That would be okay. But first she has to learn how to diagram a 30-word sentence.

If you had to take one item from your kitchen with you to a desert island, what would you take?
It changes all the time: my big dutch oven, a big iron skillet, my flat whisk, a big stainless spoon, and my Wusthof Santoku knife. Seriously—that knife. It’s beautiful. And I like wooden spoons.

Cowboy Josh is a fine looking cowboy. Have you checked further into his availability status? Inquiring minds wish to know. Also, I think he is an underrepresented photography subject…
He’s single—at least he was an hour ago. It’s a fluid situation. He’s ready to do the Ranchelor…but I have to get all my ducks in a row first (i.e. work up the guts.)

Between this site, homeschooling, the ranch, cooking, gardening, the punks, etc., when exactly to you sleep and how much?
I only sleep about six to seven hours a night, which isn’t enough for me but I can’t help it. I’m changing that tonight. Good night, everyone!

Not.

I really love (okay, lust after) your blue and white dishes. The one the goat cheese logs are on and the plate you used for your meatballs photo. I know bl/wh dishes can be found easily, but where did you find yours?
They’re Spode “Blue Italian” and I registered for them when I got hitched.

Ree, am I the only boy here? I feel like an interloper.
Boys are really popular here. When one of you speaks up, we girls listen. Just ask Bob Cleveland.

Did you mean it when you said you use to hate cilantro?? And now you love it??? I want to know how long it took. I try and try to at least LIKE it, but bleeeech!
I seriously used to hate it. When I lived in L.A. I couldn’t stand the taste. But now I love it so much I get cilantro poisoning every summer.

Why do the mustangs have to be in separate pastures? Aren’t they all mares?
That’s for our purposes, so we can manage them and keep track of each animal. Every mare on our ranch is accounted for, so we do regular checks to make sure they’re all there and that they’re all okay.

I know your dad remarried, has your mom remarried as well? Are your mom and dad still on friendly terms?
Yes, both my parents have remarried. Everyone has moved on, but I dread the first family event that requires us all to be in the same room together. I might defect to Haiti before that happens. It’s tough being a middle child.

Sitting in my office here in Beverly Hills wondering what 3 restaurants you miss the most?
I miss Intermezzo. I’d give anything to have Intermezzo back in my life.

Can you get MM to do a Lodge floorplan for us?
Yes! He did it about a month ago and my house done et it.

I love making different yeast breads. Do you make any or does yeast intimidate you?
Yeast doesn’t intimidate me, but I’m in a huge brawl with it right now over the subject of doughnuts. We’re about to resolve our differences, but it’s been a long battle.

Will you post a recipe for chicken and dumplings if you have a good one?
I have a recipe I use for both chicken and dumplings and chicken and noodles. I prefer chicken and noodles. Anyone? Anyone?

Did MM give Missy as hard a time as Pesky did to you?
No. He’s too shy.

After spending time with Wetsy and her unbelievable cute little boy – doesn’t it give you the URGE to pro-create again?
Yes, and that’s why I have four children. Because I kept seeing babies all over the place. I’d sworn them off completely, and then my punk sister had to go and have one. I thought it was extremely rude of her, considering she knew full well about my addiction.

Are you pregnant?
No. I’m pretty sure I’m not. I think.

What do you think of the Octomom?
A need that can’t be filled. But what do I know?

In your video clip “Goin’ Sortin”, (about 1.14 into it), MM asks his brother “What’s that, your third try?” and then he laughs at his brother’s reply. Is that the infamous MM chuckle?
He was teasing Cousin T., and yes…that’s the chuckle. Purrrrrrrr.

Briefs, bikinis, thongs or grannies?
No.

We don’t want Black Heels to end! Are you going to go on with it through the years?
I’m not ending it. The first year of our marriage is where the drama really begins.

I cannot (and I’m being totally serious..you can ask ANYONE) cook. (Even a simple, back-of-the-box, recipe does not “turn out” when I’m in the kitchen.) Is there hope for me?
YES THERE IS, my darling. Just cook all the time. Don’t be afraid to fail. I failed a lot when I first started cooking. I remember I once made stuffed Poblano chilies for my friend Cary the Golf Pro when I was 23 or something. The cheese inside curdled and the chilies squirted bitter juice all over the rice on the plate. I thought it was soooo awesome, but Cary never asked me to cook for him again.

But we’re still friends.

Help! My daughter wants to make a cake i the shape of the Empire State Building for a class project. Any suggestions?
Ooooh! I would make my chocolate sheet cake, but really grease and flour the pan first (I don’t usually.) Then set a bit cutting board on top of the pan after the cake is baked, and invert it so the cake will gently come out onto the cutting board. Then just cut a silhouette of the Empire State Building in the cake.

I think I could answer most of these questions EXCEPT, really, what is your favorite movie?
Gone with the Wind. Mildred Pierce (thank you S.W.), and about twenty other gems.

Who farted in front of the other first-you or MM? (Did this question make you laugh?)
I don’t do that.

What sort of discipline do you use for your children? Time-out? Spanking? Water boarding?
Okay, now THAT question made me laugh. OHHHHHHHH, hahahahahahahahahahahhaha.
The answer is, I snap my fingers a lot and raise one of my eyebrows. If they fight or hurt each other, I make them embrace in a hug for five minutes. They always wind up laughing.
Marlboro Man does all the waterboarding in our house.

I think as part of your homeschool section you should give us some pointers on how to contact our representatives/senators/mayors – who do we contact for what when we want to voice our opinions on what changes we want as their constituents. i.e.– Last month I went to the Acute Care Center (it was Sat. and my doctor’s office was closed) and it cost $950.00 to see the dr. for 5 mins and pee in a cup. (bladder infection). Isn’t that outrageous?! Do you know anything about how to contact politicians? (p.s. hospital generously offered to give me a $15.00 discount)
Yikes. That is outrageous. Now, as the daughter of a physician I could go into how I feel about it and what I believe the causes to be for such outrageous pricing, but for now I’ll just say I hope you’re feeling better. And good idea about legislators’ contact information.

I would love to have a site similar to yours…kindof a day in the life type of thing. Exactly how hard was it to start it all up?
I started on Blogger, and it was a cinch! I knew nothing about blogging or computers—nothing. My site has changed since then, but only after I realized I loved blogging.

I wonder if you and MM ever thought of raising and selling organic grass-fed beef? That’d be so awesome. if not, why not?
No…that’s more for niche operations. Ours is more of a commercial (though still family-owned) ranch. Also, corn fed beef tastes better (in our humble opinion.)

Do you have a cat? If not why?
I love cats. LOVE them. But I don’t have any because my dogs think cats are supper. It’s sad but true. I wouldn’t bring a sweet kitty into this atmosphere of violence.

When did this website get big? Was it an interview? Word of mouth, across the internet? How did it happen?
I don’t think of my site as big—I really don’t. As far as growth, I’ve never had one of those big spikes or whopper events that sent traffic soaring. I just concentrate on what I write and what I cook and what photos I post. There are tricks to getting traffic, but I don’t know what they are. I just concentrate on what’s on my site, and feel like I’m writing for a small handful of people every time I post something. I have a lot more readers than I had when I started my site in May 2006 (I had zero.) But there are sites way, way bigger than mine. It’s all relative. Amen.

Will you ever get another pug?
I want a pug so badly for nostalgic reasons, but I don’t think the country is any place for such a smushy-faced animal. Coyotes LOVE pugs—I’m not sure if you knew that.

What would you get a tattoo of?
Marlboro Man’s brand. Or a butterfly.

Hi Ree! I just found out i’m pregnant! I was wondering if you had any of your children at home or hospitals and did you have a midwife? Any advice to a first time pregnant lady?
Congratulations! Are you all tingly inside? I remember that feeling. It’s so weird, isn’t it?
I have never had my babies at home—NEVER. I love that dadgum hospital. I love that nurse button and I love it when the nurses come in through the night and check my vitals. I love the quiet and the beeps of the machines.
Now, my friend Hyacinth? She had her fourth baby at home with a midwife when I was seven months pregnant and I WAS THERE. IN HER BEDROOM. THE WHOLE TIME.
Hyacinth? Can I blog about that sometime? Please? I want to talk about what you had to do to move labor along, but I won’t if you don’t want me to.
I loved being present when Hyacinth’s baby was born, but it only further anchored my resolve always to give birth in hospitals.

How do you make a roux?
I make a roux by sprinkling flour into a fat (grease, oil, butter), whisking it together, and cooking it slowly over low heat before adding the liquid—milk, broth, etc. A roux is the basis of gravy. It’s also the basis of some soups, chowders, etc.

Have you ever been on Oprah?
Lord, no. What would she ask me? I’m like the Seinfeld of the ranch wife realm. I serve no purpose and have no point.

My question is about your chocolate cake recipe when you make cupcakes with it. Do you cook it for a different length of time?
Yes, I decrease the time by about five minutes. Just watch ‘em.
And make them tomorrow. Please.

How do you discipline your children when they backtalk or ignore you?
I waterboard them.

How do you guys get health insurance?
We pay for it ourselves! It just went up again, and I almost got hostile for a brief moment in time.

Don’t want to bring you back to tears, but what do YOU feel happened to good ol Nell?
In my heart of hearts, I’m afraid coyotes (or something else) must have gotten her.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I’m crying now. But don’t feel bad.

What is the best present MM ever gave you and vice versa?
Don’t laugh, but the first Christmas we were married, MM had his mom help him pick out a few really, really cute and stylish maternity outfits. Please don’t laugh. I hear you laughing.
But the thought of him having the idea to get me clothes that would accommodate his growing baby…well, let’s just say it still makes me grin.
I gave him an address book that year.
It wasn’t my finest hour.
But it was really nice. It was the finest artificial leather on the market.

Do you ever try recipes submitted via email?
You betcha! My favorite pie crust recipe came from a gal named Sylvia Lamon, who emailed it to me awhile back. I love it so much it’s going in my cookbook—with Sylvia’s permission, of course.

The Awesome Quizzes you had this week, Did you make those up on your own or did you have help?
I did them myself, which is why one of my questions in the final quiz was terribly flawed. But I’m glad you liked them. I had so much fun. Whee. Yippee. Yahoo.

My husband and I can’t agree on our new adopted baby girl’s name. I like Lily and Torin and He likes Nova. Who should win?
Hmmm. Hmmm. Lily, Torin, or Nova? Is she from a different country? Would Torin or Nova honor her heritage in some clever way, or are they just names you both chose? I probably like Lily, but I always love sweet little names like that. Nova sounds interesting—almost like Moon or River. Elemental.

Who do you and MM like on this season’s Amazing Race?
The mother and son—Margie and Luke. OH PLEASE, MARGIE AND LUKE, PLEASE WIN! PLEASE! I’M ASKING YOU NICELY!
I also like Mark and Michael. I think they might sneak in and surprise everyone.

Will you make the clam recipe that you made for MM the first time you cooked for him? It sounded so good.
It’ll be in my cookbook with photos, but I posted precise directions in the story I wrote about that ill-fated dinner. I think it’s called “The First Night I Cooked for Marlboro Man.”

Was it always easy to have a brother with disabilities in high school. Just wondering because I went through something similar and I’d actually have classmates tease me because of his disabilities.
That’s a great question. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sweat dates picking me up for movies from time to time because I wasn’t sure if Mike would crawl on their lap or kiss their hand or something. But it was more good than not. I learned that “perfection” is a totally subjective term. I also learned that if a guy I thought was cute wasn’t comfortable around Mike, he suddenly wasn’t so cute anymore.

I’m sorry, but it’s true. Mike was my filter.

How do you teach a puppy not to jump on people?
I always lift up my knee when they jump up, and they’re usually cured within a few days. It never hurts them; just gives them a barrier that prevents them from landing on your leg with their paws. They get bored and move on eventually.

Have you had any interactions with Muslims or Islam? You have a few Muslim readers and we love you!
None, except what I studied in my Religions of the East class at USC. I know all about the holidays and customs! That was one of my favorite classes I ever took. Right up there with The Beatles: The Music and Their Times.
I live in the city and want to start a few flower pots for my apartment balcony. Which flowers would you plant if you were me? I live in about the same climate/temps as you…my flowers will get plenty of sunlight. Or would you totally forget about flowers and plant fresh herbs instead?
Oooooh. I would do both. Definitely herbs: basil, rosemary, dill, sage. As for flowers, will they get full sun? Go to the nursery and look at the full sun flowers and buy the ones that appeal to you. I like to plant low crawling things around the edges of the pots and taller, colorful things in the middle. And plant something different in every pot so you’ll have a fun melange of colors and shapes. Then next year, you’ll remember which ones you liked and go from there.

Sparkly water or still? asparagus quiche or lemon tart? tuna sashimi or salmon? cosmo or vodka on the rocks? paella or risotto?
Still
Asparagus quiche
Tuna
Vodka rocks
Risotto

I am buying a ranch right now. What would you say the best and worst parts of ranch life are? So many kids leave agriculture when they grow up, what are your suggestions for instilling a love for ranching in their lives?
Best: Living and working on the land. Caring for animals. Space. Quiet. Isolation.
Worst: The ups and downs. The markets. The weather. Things you can’t control.

Heels or flats?
HEELS.

How do you cook your frozen lasagna? I know you said you can freeze your amazing lasagna but then what’s the best way to cook it after that?
I usually freeze it before baking. Then I can just pull it out frozen and let it thaw…OR, if I’m in a hurry, I cover with foil and bake it at a low temperature for about thirty minutes. Then I crank it up and finish it off.

Did your MIL homeschool her children? If not, how does she (all of the IL) feel about you doing so?
Pretty much everyone (even my family) reacted to our decision with guarded terror. Within a month or two, everyone was totally on board and sending me articles and workbooks and flashcards.

Do you guys milk the cows also? You never mention it.
We ain’t got no milk cows. I want one, though. I think we’d be fast friends.

If you were doing someone’s portraits what lens would you use for inside shots and what one would you use for outside shots? And why?
For both indoor and outdoor, I don’t think I’ll ever use anything but my 85mm 1.8. It’s so, so nice. Oh, man do I love that lens. It speaks to me. It purrs in my ear.

If your first love contacted you would you talk to him?
He contacted me via email last year sometime when a curious Olan Mills thread circulated around his office and wound up in his inbox. That blog post alone pretty much caused everyone I ever knew throughout my life to contact me. What a treasure.

Do you miss ballet? Do any port de bras in the kitchen when nobody is looking? Pirouettes to amuse the children?
Every day. Every day I miss it. Every day I do pirouettes. But they’re starting to make me dizzy. Maybe it’s an inner ear disturbance.
ARE YOU SICK OF THIS YET? I’ll stop soon. I promise.

My 14-yr old daughter wants to know what kind of music you like and your fave bands/groups/singers.
I love musicals, Norah Jones, Bach, Mozart, Cat Stevens, and Helen Reddy. And the Carpenters.
AND THE JONAS BROTHERS!

What does your clean laundry smell like? I am an admirer of clean laundry aromas.
Tide Mountain Spring and Bounce Fresh Linen. The stuff that dreams were made of.

If you HAD to choose, would you choose Jacob or Edward?
Oh, gosh. Gosh, gosh, gosh. Jacob is such a strong name. Biblical. The founder of a whole new nation. It reminds me of my favorite part in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat:

Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation
Thanks to the number of children he had
He was also known as “Israel”, but most of the time
His sons and his wives used to call him DAD!

But I like Edward, too. It’s serious and dignified.

(Sorry. Haven’t read the Twilight books.)

Do you like the name Cozyn?
I’ll have to let that one marinate. I like unusual, original names. Sometimes it just takes me awhile to get jiggy with them.

What happened to Cousin T? I thought he was going to be the Ranchelor. Did I miss all that excitement?
Cousin T…just got married last weekend. It’s a happy, happy thing.

Will you still be creating that list of resources and products that you used in remodeling and redecorating the Lodge? I am really looking forward to it!
Yes! I’ll hurry and finish it.

Skills test: type all the words to “Surrey with the fringe on top” from memory.
Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the surrey
When I take you out in the surrey with the fringe…on top
Watch that fringe and see how it flutters
When I drive those high steppin’ strutters
Nosy folks’ll peek through the shutters and their eyes’ll pop

(Want me to go on?)

The wheels are yeller the upholstery’s brown
The dashboard’s gen-yoo-wine leather…

(I’ll stop now)

When ASU plays USC in football, do you and MM have to be in different rooms?
YesDifferent houses?
Yes

Would you ever consider cosmetic surgery?
The problem is that I HATE anesthesia. So I don’t know where that puts me.

Do you ever make homemade ice cream? What is you favorite recipe?
I make ice cream every summer and I love peach and strawberry the most. I made blackberry last summer and it was divoon.

You have 2 brothers and a sister, right? So how are you the “middle” of 4?
I call myself a middle child because I was sandwiched between a developmentally disabled brother and a much younger sweet baby of a younger sister. I had an older brother, too, who was “the first”. So while not mathematically accurate, I am a middle child in every sense of the word.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, ANGIE!

How many words per minute can you type?
I made a bet with My Pesky Brother in Law Tim one day and found an online test that registered me at 85 words per minute. I have no idea if it was accurate, but I won ten dollars.

Do you and MM still have date nights?
Very rarely these days. But we have plenty of time together. After the kids go to bed, it’s him, me, and our beloved remote control. I love that time of day.

What should a woman’s wardrobe basics be?
I’m the wrong person to ask, because all I wear are jeans. Jeans with a casual top. Jeans with a dressy top. Jeans with a turtleneck. Jeans with a black blazer.

Are they still called blazers? See? I told you I was the wrong person to ask.

Has anyone ever gotten upset with you (like, family or close friends) for stuff you’ve posted?
No. I got mad at myself once, but that’s about it.
My brother isn’t thrilled with his wrestling photo here. But he’s almost halfway through the healing process by now, so I’m not takin’ it down.

Ree, any tips to a fellow red-head on how to be a confident red hair? Any suggestions are welcome.
I went brunette last year and I wish I hadn’t. I permanently stained my hair brown. It wasn’t me. Be yourself! Unless you get bored, and then you can go brunette. Just don’t go blond. Red to blond is NOT a good transition.

Hair please! I must know how to fix my hair!
Is it long? Short? Curly? Straight? Wavy? Need more data please. Thank you.
But if it’s long, you need a wide-barreled curling iron and you need to twist your hair before curling it outward. That is my prescription.

Does Charlie need a girlfriend? I have bassett name Maggie Mae they would be perfect for each other.
Yes, but please explain to Maggie Mae that Charlie wouldn’t…he wouldn’t…he wouldn’t be much good to her, if you get what I’m sayin’.

Don’t you wish today’s 8th graders looked as respectable and proper as you did back then?
Unfortunately, what you don’t see in the photo is what happened in ninth grade. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say Madonna and Cyndi Lauper influenced my fashion.

How old were you when your first baby was born? And your last?
28 and 35, respectively. I think. Maybe I was 27 and 35. I can’t remember.

Do you have any sage advice for the “siblings” of children with disabilities? I have a ten year old girl who has mild autism and Tourette Syndrome. My eight year old vacillates between being protective, embarrassed, compassionate, angry and annoyed. Will things get better for her? If you had five minutes with her (and her mother), what words of wisdom would you share – something that might help us keep our eye on the “big picture”?
One time my brother Mike spazzed out and threw a fit when a guy from school came over to work on an article we were writing together for the school paper. It was mortifying at the time and I thought I’d die from embarrassment. But today, all I think about when I think of Mike is how much I love him. And the embarrassing moments from the past are all funny stories now.
Tell your eight-year-old that she’s a lovely lump of clay and her brother is just one of many things that will shape her into the person she’ll one day be.
I’m so bad with analogies. I’m like a Hallmark card with some Stuart Smalley thrown in.
But tell her it will all be okay. THAT much I do know.

What are your children doing while you are chatting with us?
Sawing logs.

Ree, I LOVE your site and have become slightly addicted. It’s my fifth anniversary tomorrow, if I want to make my husband swoon, what should I make for dinner?
Ribeye steak, Roasted garlic mashed potatoes.

Will you let your kids date?
I don’t think I can answer this in an uncontroversial way, but at the risk of sounding countercultural, I’m not convinced two sixteen-year-old kids of opposite sexes are necessarily intellectually, emotionally, or physically equipped to take off into the night together for three two five hours and keep their wits about them.

It’s just a theory I’m working on. I have a few years before I have to prove it, so I am now going to go fold laundry.

People now want to waterboard their children! Time for a disclaimer?
Oh Lord.

Any tips on surviving “morning” sickness? I’m about 14 weeks pregnant with my first and am still battling the nausea.
Oh, Sweetie. I’m sorry. I had it bad. Real, real bad. I would rub a lemon slice under my nose all day long. Smells killed me. I would chomp ice a lot. And I ate really bad food like Chef Boy-ar-Dee mini ravioli and frozen pizza rolls. It’s all I could stomach. PEPPERMINT OIL, too. Under my nose.

What happens if a person from a country other than United States wins one of your giveaways? Will they still get that prize or do you offer them a substitute they can use in their country?
There’ve been some international winners and I’ve always made good on the loot.

Screendoor slams.
Mary’s dress waves.

I know you can finish the lyrics…
“Like a vision she dances across the porch as the radio plays…”

Moved to San Francisco for a guy. Didn’t work out – still stings. Should I stay here and try to make myself happy, or move back to the east coast near family and old friends? I am truly stuck on this one – I do have good friends here, but I’m having trouble being happy.
Move back home near people who’ve known you forever.

Did you really give up liquor for lent?
Yes. It was something I knew would be a bummer for me. I love wine.

How do I convince my boyfriend that you and your family are real and not just actors?
I’ll email you a picture of my closet. That’ll shock him into acceptance, but quick.

My closet is a dark hole of shame.

Have you SERIOUSLY not read the Twilight series?
No, I haven’t. Does that make me a bad person?

I am new to your site and fell in love Black Heels to Wagon Wheels, my question:
Do you still live in the first house that you picked out together?
No. That will all be explained in Black Heels: After the Wedding. (Or Black Heels: After the Facial, whichever you prefer.)

______________________

Goodnight, my friends.

I’m sorry for everything. But this was fun. (Am reserving many great questions and will answer in a different post soon.)

Next time I’d like more “Dear Abby” type questions. I want to give you, like, relationship advice and tell you how to deal with your crazy uncle during the holidays.

Melanie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:12 pm

Hi Ree, What do you do when your kids have a problem and they don’t want to share it with you or MM? How do you encourage them to talk?

Lisha

212

Keri On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Is it the least bit uncomfortable knowing that hundreds of women are falling in love with MM (and you) because of your incredible love story?

213

Debbie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

I see who your girls look like!

My question is about your chocolate cake recipe when you make cupcakes with it. Do you cook it for a different length of time? I’ve never really liked chocolate cake until I had yours. Oh. My. Goodness! I can “even up a row” until I’ve eaten way too much. I would love to make it into cupcakes and have fun decorating with the tips from your blog about Bakerella.

Thanks!

214

Mary G. On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Do you ever see the mailman? Do you have to travel miles to get your mail? I ask cuz I sent you a package last week to the address in your contact portion of the website and just want to make sure you get it.

215

Jess On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Would you like to learn to ski, snowboard?

216

Wendy On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Do you ever pickle anything? If so, what? And do you have any great pickling recipes?

217

Katheryn On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

How do you discipline your children when they backtalk or ignore you? Especially when they were younger (ages 4-6)

Anonymous On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

How do you guys get health insurance?

220

Jill On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Who would you want to play you and MM in a made-for-TV movie?

221

hostagal On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Are we ever going to hear from the gals that were lucky enough to come to the Lodge for the cupcake/fondant lessons? I would love to hear aout their impressions of their day! About your ranch, the lodge, your children, to the meal and you.

222

Mindy M On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Do you know that you are beautiful? (I secretly covet your hair!) Oh, and your kids are beautiful! (I didn’t phrase that in a question because as a mom myself I know that all mommas think their kids are beautiful!) ok, one more, what is your favorite ice cream (these things are important in life!)

223

Trista On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Did you see the loopy dental kid on you tube? Poor thing was so out of it after dental surgery, so what do his parents do? VIDEO TAPE HIM!! Poor kid must have been scared out of his mind.

224

Beth in California On Thursday, March 26 at 8:13 pm

Do you have a recipe for chicken and dumplings that you can share with us?

you never say a word about politics/ your political convictions. why is that? is it just too inflammatory a subject? is it something you only talk about the dinner table en famille?

235

Valerie Morris On Thursday, March 26 at 8:14 pm

Father of the bride part II

236

thetanofa On Thursday, March 26 at 8:14 pm

if shoeless joe jackson or kirby puckett came to you out of your pastures and told you to build a baseball diamond because people would come to it, would you? what do you think MM would say?

Also, do you think fashion should bring back shoulder pads?

237

Mary S On Thursday, March 26 at 8:14 pm

Are you good enough at higher level Math to home school your kids through trigonometry or Calculus? I can easily teach my kids Shakespeare, History Biology, Chemistry…but the Math part makes me happy that my kids are in public school.

238

Dorrie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:14 pm

I asked this earlier, since I wasn’t sure if I’d be on tonight, but since I had a minute to check in…
I know you stay away from the whole religion/spiritual thing and keep that private, but I am curious…
Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever had any unusual experiences personally in that regard? just thought it was a little somethin different lol

kate On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

JKirb in SC On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

That’s the same yellow sweater I wore in my 9th grade picture (same year you were in 8th).
Who do you and MM like on this season’s Amazing Race?

256

Allie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

Where do you get that great western clipart? Also, ever planning on running a contest for graphic designers? I’d love to have a crack at that banner

257

Leigh On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

Seriously, how do you do it all? Homeschooling, gardening, blogging, webdesign, photography, cooking, writing a book, wife, mother….I’m amazed!!

Just being a Mother of 4 on a ranch (and all the laundry it brings) is alot.

Are you super human?

258

MN Angie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

I have a guy “friend”… he and I spend some time together but live hours apart. We’ve been e-mailing daily (epic-ly long e-mails 2-3 pages) for four months straight… do you think that there’s more than “friendship” going on? I mean… can guys and girls really be “just friends”?

259

Lydia On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

So… knowing how you handle your answering machine (love that) how do you handle those annoying phone calls when you wait forever to talk to a human?

260

RoseBelle On Thursday, March 26 at 8:16 pm

what are some of your favorite/daily websites …. do you have a favorite blog to read … favorite celeb dirt website …. online shop(s)…. recipe resource(s) ….

261

Debbie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

My girlfriends and I (Joplin, Missouri) desperately need a weekend away. Ever thought about hosting a girls weekend at the Lodge? You would be a hoot to hang with. Just asking………

Will you make the clam recipe that you made for MM the first time you cooked for him? It sounded so good. Maybe you could make it while he is gone to the farm so he doesn’t have to pretend to like it again.

Oh, and my dog is old and just sleeps all day long. Do you think she’ll hate me if I get a new puppy before she dies?

263

bonnie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

What is keeping you from having another bub if you enjoy them so much… and age doesn’t count because 40 still young.

264

bonnie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

What is keeping you from having another bub if you enjoy them so much… and age doesn’t count because 40 still young.

265

Jessica On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

Do you menu plan?? I just don’t know how you accomplish everything in a days time!!

266

renee On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

I think I read in a magazine that you grew up in Bartlesville… I remember their drill team/dance team at camp in Emporia, during high school… were you on the dance team?

267

Donna Luker On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

I’m 51 now and Adam Ant STILL makes my toes curl!!

268

Saleta On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

Ree,
Do you have any crockpot recipes ( I have a few I can share if you don’t!). Are you going to do a book signing tour (just to Waco or Dallas, TX would be GREAT!) when your book comes out?

269

KimL On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

Ree, I was wondering what the results were for that poll you took on how often we’d like to see new recipes. I voted for everyday, but, I do know that you’re busy, so how about every other day?? lol

270

Maggie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:17 pm

I saw something on your blog about how you didn’t wipe a sneeze in order to not embarass the sneezer – this same thing happened to me when a classmate sneezed all over my neck. I’ve also seen that you were bed wetter – I was not a bed wetter but I had a horrible, extremely public instance of wetting my pants while standing in front of a classroom (ummmmm, why I am admitting this?) Anyway, any stories of that nature?

Andrea On Thursday, March 26 at 8:18 pm

Are there a lot of locals that follow your blog these days? Do you feel like you have to make sure your pants aren’t crotchless when you leave the ranch?

282

Tracie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:18 pm

Hi Ree!

Please enlighten me how you manage all that you do in the run of a day. It appears as if your life is pretty much stress free. I cannot tell you how many times you cross my mind in the run of a day. I picture the wide open space and the care free of crime, the hustle and bustle of the city and letting the kids run free. I envy your life and the serentiy that you seem to have. I admire all that you do for your family and for your friends here that follow you.
So please tell me where your energy and uplifting spirits come from daily?

Thank you!

283

Marie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:18 pm

Besides the essentials for setting up a kitchen, what other utensils/gadgets/frills would make cooking/baking fun-ner that it already is? Did I write that sentence? Send me back to school!

Cheri On Thursday, March 26 at 8:18 pm

Hi Ree,
I would like to second the request for a day in the life of Ree!
Also, I have been working with Elements 6. I don’t have enough money to upgrade to CS4, but I have been noticing that light room is about 300 bucks would you try to use that with Elements? Or should I just keep saving? As always thanks! Cheri

286

Sandie On Thursday, March 26 at 8:18 pm

I can’t believe there are so many questions already! I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy and doing this at the same time. Do you get all your dogs fixed? I know you said that Charlie is now fixed but I wondered about the other dogs on the ranch.

Will you please have a mother/daughter weekend at the ranch and invite us? My daughter is 9 and would love to hang out with your daughters while you and I cooked. (or I watch you cook and eat while you’re preparing it!)

Mary S On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

I see more and more press about you Ree. Does it scare you that people will intrude upon your privacy too much?

290

caber808 On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

I’m amazed at the amount of private and personal information that you share on your blog–at least there are things that I wouldn’t want the entire universe to know. How do your family, neighbors, and friends react to these “secrets” being shared with the world?

291

Rema On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

Have you had any interactions with Muslims or Islam? You have a few Muslim readers and we love you!

292

Kathy M On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

How in the world do you get all things done that you do????

293

Kristen On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

Can we have an Ask Pioneer Woman – Chatroom Edition someday?

294

Veronica On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

If you were to visit USC or beaches in southern California, would you like to come over for a visit? I have a lovely backyard with a wonderfully shaded patio and you could invite your other readers from the area. It would be much fun!!!

I live in Whittier, CA
veronica

295

Andrea On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

On average, how many hours of sleep do you usually get each night? And/or do you take naps regularly or ever?

Pastor Karl On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

I know you’re a little busy, but I still need a killer recipe for chicken fried steak and I know you have one!

298

Kristen On Thursday, March 26 at 8:19 pm

299

Wendy On Thursday, March 26 at 8:20 pm

Do you have any great websites to recommend for finding fun “Western” types items? I’m moving into a new apartment and was thinking about doing a Cowboy/Anthropolgie decorating theme – if that is even possible…