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Chicago Cubs manager Dusty Baker said Sunday his fellow
blacks play better in the heat because their ancestors were
brought here to work in the heat. Reaction was immediate.
President Bush apologized in Senegal for ever owning a baseball team.

The U.N. Global Warming Commission warned on Friday the
earth's population is facing the warmest summer in one hundred
years. Already the effects are being felt. It's so hot in Los
Angeles this week that Kobe Bryant is sticking to his story.

Jose Canseco was ordered to remain in jail to await his
probation violation hearing for steroid use. He used steroids to
boost his power and his career. If he's convicted, he could get
four to eight years as the next governor of California.

West Nile virus surfaced in a South Carolina pond on Sunday
to begin this summer's plague. You can't make it up. One week
after the September 11th attacks the U.S. government grounded all
crop dusters, and now we're all going to die of bug bites.

President Bush said Monday he didn't know he was misleading
Congress on Iraq or citing false intelligence. He can't win. For
years Democrats said he doesn't know anything and now that he
admits he didn't know anything, they don't believe him.

Iran test-launched its Shahab-3 missile last week that is
able to reach Israel. Iran says they built the rocket and guidance
system using their own expertise. So it's just a coincidence that
Shahab is the North Korean word meaning This Side Up.

Arkansas resident Terry Wallis came out of a coma after
nineteen years this week. He's been completely unconscious since a
car crash in 1984. At last there is one person on this planet who
thinks there's something new in Hillary Clinton's book.

The Kennedy Curse details John F. Kennedy Jr.'s tragic
marriage to Carolyn Bessette. The author says he crashed his plane
in the dark because she spent too much time that afternoon getting
a pedicure. If this was a novel it would be called Harry Potter
and the Wrong Chick.