Someone has been trying to buy the rights to professional celebrity Kim Kardashian's sex tape from Vivid Entertainment. There's been speculation that the party interested in paying the porn company the tape's $30 million asking price is actually Kim and giant husband Kris themselves, but those rumors were debunked yesterday when the buyer met with Vivid representatives. If the bid's successful, the buyer promises to reveal why s/he is doing it.
If you're trying to go back to the source and shut off the endless spurting fountain that is Kim Kardashian's talentless celebrity, t's too late, mystery bidder. You can't Inception reality. We're all beyond help now. For the love of Ray J, save yourself! [Digital Spy]

Rapper Game defended himself against claims that he was homophobic after making statements about closeted gay men spreading HIV, claiming that he has several gay friends. Including 50 Cent. Outing someone who is actually gay or attempting to out them in an attempt to shame them is pretty Wanksta behavior. [Crushable]

Creative Emmys were handed out last night, and Justin Timberlake won a couple more statuettes for his always-brilliant turns on SNL. Despite the fact that JT is hilarious on the show and the world is made just a little brighter because "Dick in a Box" exists, we need to stop rewarding Justin Timberlake for doing things that are not making another album. There are dozens of good SNL guest stars and only one person who can make a Justin Timberlake album. What are we supposed to listen to, Justin? Drake? Robin Thicke? No thank you. [Yahoo]

Christina Hendricks says she loves milking cows and misses the smell of hay. When I first read this, I thought, Poor Joan. Such a tragic character. because I'm apparently incapable of mentally separating Christina Hendricks, actual person and imaginary character Joan Holloway Harris. [Contact Music]

One of Jack Nicholson's houses burned to the ground yesterday. Or should I say, another one of Jack Nicholson's houses burned to the ground? All work in roles as a cranky old man and no play as a confusing sex symbol make Jack a dull boy, indeed. [Digital Spy]

Charlie Sheen and the feral bromeliad that he calls hair were roasted by Comedy Central last night by a cavalcade of celebrities that included Mike Tyson, who concluded his incoherent speech by declaring that he was the best poet alive and that he'll eat your children. This isn't a joke. Tyson really said those things. [Yahoo]

Moby doesn't understand why men in pornographic movies have such giant wangs and has suggested that porn for men be made featuring actors with small to average genitalia. That exists, Moby. It's called Entourage. [Contact Music]

Demi Moore tweeted a picture of her back naked from the waist up with some message about making sure that you've got your own back. Think artistic but troubled and underloved teen with unfettered access to the family webcam, irritating in that the phrase "got your own back" can generally be understood without a pictorial explanation. If you want to be nude, just be nude, Demi. One of the reasons people like Coco is that she's straightforward about the fact that she just wants attention. "BOOBIES," she tweets, and, sure enough, there are some boobies. [Daily Mail]

Evan Rachel Wood got elbowed in the face at a Paris club on Tuesday night, and as a result is minus one tooth. After the incident, she told fellow partiers that she was just fine and continued soldiering on. Now she's carrying the tooth around with her in a sparkly rock encrusted box. [Us]

The Abercrombie vs. The Situation... er... situation... intensifies as the star of your sexual nightmares is suing the clothier, claiming that they're benefiting from slogans Sitch came up with. This on the heels of a much-publicized effort by the chain to convince the reality TV star to stop wearing its clothing in public by offering a payout. It sounds like The Situation has a solid case- the chain has sold shirts that read both "GTL Fitch" and "The Fituation," both of which sound pretty Jersey Shore-derived. Whatever the outcome, let's hope it gets resolved amicably and quickly. I hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight. [Digital Spy]