Clark: Could they be planning the ‘Mother’ of all finales?

There’s talk all over the Internet that the finale of “How I Met Your Mother” will reveal that said mother has died and that’s why Ted is telling their children, well, how he met their mother.

So not cool.

If it’s true, of course. Frankly, it just doesn’t sound like the right ending for this show. This is a sitcom – and a goofy, raunchy sitcom, at that. It’s clever, funny and often pretty darn sappy, too. We’ve been waiting nine seasons for lovelorn Ted to find his soul mate, knowing that at the end, we’d get our payoff.

Killing off the woman who’s been the central unknown character throughout, the character who’s the subject of most of the sap, just doesn’t seem in line with the tenor of the show. Having her be dead – or dying – while he’s telling their kids about their meeting would be almost insulting to viewers who have hung in there for so long.

But if there’s going to be a twist, you have to admit, that would be a doozy.

The theory blew up after an episode a couple of weeks ago titled “Vesuvius.” Ted and his wife are in a flash-forward moment, married with kids and reminiscing about the wedding of Robin and Barney, where they finally had that titular meeting – a meeting that viewers still haven’t seen happen.

First, Ted talks about a moment that when it’s “too intense to deal with, it’s best ... ,” then trails off with a lingering look at this wife, who finishes his sentence with “to leave it unspoken.”

Mmmmm. Sounds like they have something left unspoken between them that’s too intense, too, right?

Then, when Ted tells her that Robin’s mother – who had not been expected to show up to her daughter’s wedding – actually did show up unexpectedly, the wife (her name remains a mystery) says, “What mother is going to miss her daughter’s wedding?” That causes another lingering look from Ted, who then chokes up.

As frustrating an ending as this would be, it sure makes sense given all that foreboding in the “Vesuvius” episode. And, since the writers gave us the mother’s identity weeks ago, we already know the meeting isn’t going to be the Wow! moment that a good finale needs.

What else are they going to do?

Add to all this that one of the show’s co-stars, Cobie Smulders, has been quoted saying she “immediately started weeping” when she was first told of how “How I Met Your Mother” ends, and it sure sounds like the mother is either dying or already gone when the finale plays out.

Series finales of long-running, popular shows are a tough act. There has to be a big sendoff or a clever twist; otherwise, viewers feel cheated. But, I have to admit, if the twist is that the mother is dead in this finale, I think I’m going to feel cheated anyway.

But there’s no way to know what the writers are going do or how it’s going to make viewers feel until it airs. At least some television writers are calling the foreboding in the “Vesuvius” episode a red herring.

And here’s why I’m going with the red herring theory: Those “Vesuvius” tip-offs were way too obvious. If there’s going to be a death twist, would the writers make it such a clear possibility several shows before the finale? I’m going with “no.”

Or, that’s just wishful thinking. Either way, we’ll find out March 31, when the series finale finally airs.

‘Men’ on the way

The seventh season of “Mad Men” arrives April 13. Have there really already been six seasons of this amazing show?

Sadly, Season 7 will be the final one – another series finale in the works. Happily, AMC is splitting the season into two parts – as the cable network did with “Breaking Bad” – so it actually will feel like there’s an extra season of sorts in the mix. The finale-finale will air in spring of 2015.

‘Race’ over

Modesto native Meghan Camarena didn’t last long on her second go at “The Amazing Race.” The Davis High grad, along with her YouTube show partner, Joey Graceffa, went home in episode three of this competition/reality show Sunday.

Bummer that. Now I have to decide whether I want to keep watching a show that I wouldn’t be watching at all without the local connection. Frankly, I’ve fast-forwarded through a lot of the action this season, anyway.

It kind of amazes (natch) that “The Amazing Race” wins so many Emmy Awards and is so popular. I think a lot of challenges go on far too long and are boring as all get-out. Still, the story of father/son cancer survivors Dave and Connor might keep me into this season. Dad Dave blew out his Achilles tendon in the same season that Meghan and Joey first competed, and had to go home early. They’re back and in it to win it now.

With the local girl out, I’m rooting for this resilient pair to win the $1 million prize. If anything will keep me watching, it’ll be these two.