Notorious has a picture of his cat, Lobo (named after his favorite WNBA player) as his avatar. I should probably end this roast with that, but...whatever. Cats are for spinsters and pillowbitergots. Notorious is neither, so you know he hates them...so what gives? Why the **** does he have a cat? Well, I'll tell you why. Notorious has always kept a box full of piss and shit inside his house. People used to think of him as the sick **** with the boxes full of turds in his foyer. Now, he's just a guy with a cat, so his bizarre fetish seems socially acceptable. It's kind of a genius move, really. I mean, if I could get away with leaving dead hookers on my lawn by buying a ferret, I'd be at Petland right now.

Still, having cats around actually comes in handy for him, as he's a little too in touch with his feminine side, and he likes to gently stroke the cat while having himself a good cry. Pretty soon, though, he's going to have to tie the ****ing thing up in a burlap sack and throw it off a bridge, or I'm taking back what I said earlier about him not being a pillowbitergot.

All in all, he's an okay guy. I'll probably take him up on his offer to babysit my kids.

Pros: Really good at tickling. Keeps working at growing that mustache even though it isn't coming in very thick.

Cons: Huge fan of Jackson Browne. Drives a Plymouth.

Outlook for 2014: His neighbors will be asked to describe him on the local news.

Didn't get a chance to respond to this one. I liked this one, not only because it's funny, but also because I now like this notorious guy more than I did before. Nice poster and all. Plus cats are awesome. I grew up with many of them on our farm (sometimes up to 50 at once) and the way they interact with each other, play and form cliques is some of the funniest shit in the world to watch when you are bored. Jackson Browne.... Plymouth..... Haha, my dad is a Jackson Browne fan who has driven his share of Plymouth's. Notorious = good shit. I probably wouldn't have known that if it weren't for this roast.