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Survivor Caramoan recap: Twists and turns abound

There were a few baffling twists and turns Wednesday night on SurvivorCaramoan. In the end, however, it was another predictable win for the Favourites.

The reward challenge was for a chance to repel down a waterfall and enjoy a yummy picnic lunch. There was a schoolyard pick and two teams of five were chosen. (Sherri wasn’t picked and sat out.) Then things went straight to a shootout. The teams took turns lobbing a ball past a goalie into a large net. First team to score four goals wins.

The all-guys team — Eddie, Cochran, Michael, Reynolds and Erik — won. Couch potato Cochran found the repelling part repelling. “I rarely leave my apartment — I rarely leave Twitter,” he vents. Eventually he makes his way down the cliff.

Over lunch, the other dudes try to convince Cochran to “get rid of the scheming girls” and “bro down with the guys to the end.” (When did Survivor turn into a Disney sitcom?)

He was having none of this testosterone bonding. “I won’t be engaging in any masculine tomfoolery with these numbskulls,” said Cochran.

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There was a brief romantic interlude with Andrea and Eddie playing Blue Lagoon. “I am indirectly hitting on you,” Mr. Smooth tells Andrea. He’s so ready to sell out Malcolm and Eddie. This bro-alliance is so busted.

The immunity challenge was a drowning game. Players stood in the water while a grated steel barrier descended over their face. The one who refused to panic and could breathe without bailing wins.

Everybody went at least an hour without quitting. Phillip, supremely confident in his alliance, ducked out first. It came down to Andrea and Brenda and Brenda won. Brenda? There’s somebody in this game named Brenda??

Then came the part where everybody runs around and lobbies to stay in the game and it’s edited to look like the one going home isn’t the guy who almost got tossed the week before. Malcolm targets Andrea, seeing her as the one running the show for the Favourites. (“Phillip’s a joke,” he surmises.) He lies to Andrea and tries to pull Dawn into the bro alliance.

Dawn, suddenly Miss Strategy, immediately rats out Malcolm just as she turned on Corrine the week before.

Andrea suddenly panics, realizing she really could be played off by Malcolm and his Fan posse. She calls an audible, convincing the Favourites-plus-Sherri to gun for Michael — who they know doesn’t have an idol — instead of Malcolm. Dawn grumbles that this is a loser move and argues that Malcolm is the bigger threat. Cochran isn’t pleased with the change of plans either.

When they get to tribal council, Phillip declares his Stealth-R-Us coalition to be a very effective organization, welcoming new member Sherri (“Tenacity”) into the Favourites fold. Eddie barks back that he’s no “puppet in a league of operatives.” Phillip points to the big lesson of Season 22, which was that “the coalition that sticks together goes to the end together.” Cochran rolled his eyes.

They vote. We see Malcolm write down Reynold’s name. Malcolm knows Reynold has an idol.

Before Jeff starts tallying, Reynold stands to play his idol. Malcolm, astonishingly, stands up too and begs Reynold to give up the idol, suggesting Phillip’s rant could only mean Malcolm is toast. Reynold, incredibly, buys into the bro code and hands over the trophy.

The votes are tallied and, despite Andrea jumping out to a 3-0 disadvantage, the stated Favourite plan to turf Michael prevails. “You turkeys!” he sneers on the way out, later adding, “It’s a bummer.”

Malcolm flushes out Reynold’s idol and gets to keep the one he already had, the one nobody knows about. He’ll need it, having gone 0-for-2 in power plays the last two weeks. He may be able to fight off a few more pitches if he can win an immunity challenge or two, but eventually it will be three strikes and you’re out.

Next time on Survivor: The stress of actually playing the game causes Dawn to break.

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