Posts Tagged With: canadians in new zealand

Even though the sun was out, the air remained crisp and you can immediately sense that fall is now hitting Dublin like a freight train. Think what you want but I truly believe it’s no fluke that September is also the month that’s jammed packed with several high quality events happening all around town at every turn. After all, maybe a distraction from the fact that winter’s almost upon us is exactly what the doctor ordered. And right on schedule, this past Friday night marked Culture Night in Dublin (and around all of Ireland to be 100% truthful). For one night and one night only, museums, galleries, churches, historic houses and such all have their doors open later than usual for a free night of really cool events.

As it’s an event on a Friday night and I’m nothing more than your typical worker bee, I had to pick a neighborhood and attempt to see as much as humanly possible as time wasn’t on my side. The majority of the events closed their doors at 9pm with only a few that catered to night-owls by staying open slightly longer. After some furious texting back and forth – the Aussies and I decided that the one must-do of the night was to tap the The Old Jameson Distillery. Armed with my mitts, scarf, and Harajuku Lovers hoodie, I managed to make it to Monster Truck Gallery and Studios, The Old Jameson Distillery, Block T, and The Church before it was time to call it a night.

Blue Balls in Smithfield

The first three events of the Monster Truck Gallery and Studios, The Old Jameson Distillery, and Block T all exceeded my expectations. The fact that Jameson was handing out a tasty beverages to the touring public upon arrival was a nice surprise but Block T with their wines (unfortunately there was none for latecomers such as ourselves), stellar nibbles, and free postcards of the work being displayed made the experience even better than the three of us had bargained for. Unfortunately, our lucky streak of awesome experiences ended when we hit the Church. The Church is the building where Arthur Guinness got married that was built in the 1700s and despite the fact that it’s been turned into a restaurant/bar – the beauty of it still shines through. This was enough to get us to take a break from all the culture soaking and get a bottle of vino and a few nibbles to give us strength to truck on. Instead we got a grumpy server who brought us a bottle of wine, had absolutely no clue about specials or the menu itself, and served it all with a side dish of sour face with a sprinkle of skunk eye.

My one regret of the night is that we took that break at The Church as the customer service was appalling and it turned into a total time suck that prevented us from seeing any more of the events. Regardless of this one rather unfortunate experience, Culture Night was a total craic as the three of us had a blast along with plenty of laughs exploring the venues. The cherry on the cake was that the spirit continued on the streets well after the doors of Culture Night closed and we found ourselves within friendly mobs of people during the wee hours of the morning as random music filled the streets of Dublin. All and all, a great night and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for next year.

There was this thing that happened to me back in June and to be perfectly honest no matter how much I’ve closed my eyes and pretended it never happened – IT DID. This thing that happened was with someone I knew (someone who I stupidly trusted to never ever pull any bullshit move on me either) decided to give me a wet willy with his tongue. To this day, I don’t understand why or what compelled him to do it…was my ear saying, “open for business” without the rest of me being unaware of it?

Gross factor aside, I came up with many reasons to rationalize why anyone would ever do that to another human being…ever! Mental illness and mean prank from his wife (yah, don’t even get me started on that) to keep him from cheating was high on the list. Also, the amount of alcohol consumed might have been a contributing factor (note that I said factor not excuse…) that made it all seem like a valid move in his head?

Regardless, it was one of those moments that I locked away in the vault and almost forgot about until months later. I was with a separate but related group of people and a random brings up how he likes a little tongue in ear! After my private WTF moment, I asked around and to my horror the majority of kiwi males in my company told me that it takes a little getting used to but they like it (giving and receiving)! Ew!

This is something I’ll never understand but everyone is entitled to their own kinks…I guess. The moral of my story is that if you’re like me and decide to go out on the town in NZ, make sure that you’re alert and keep all holes covered or else you might get an unexpected surprise in your ear!

To be perfectly honest, I’m not quite sure where to begin with this but was urged by girlfriends to blog about it as its one of those discoveries (like no shoes) that leaves you baffled at the best of times. I figure the place to start is how kiwis (for the record, different and unrelated people throughout the course of my stay) have explained it to us. It all starts off with a binge drinking night out where fuelled by alcohol, you pash and go home with someone. One night stand and that’s that right? Well if you’re in NZ then NO because if it happens again in the future (days, weeks, months…whatever) it means that you like the person and if things don’t go as expected then the fallback is to blame the booze. That being said, if it happens a 3rd time than BAM, you’re in a relationship. Maybe it’s just the people I know but this is a major WTF moment as to us this means friends with benefits or booty call not RELATIONSHIP.

Also, when they’ve had a few then it doesn’t seem to deter the kiwi if you do or don’t want to be part of their dating ritual. Single, married (fidelity isn’t one of those things that automatically comes with marriage in these parts), perverted or just plain crazy – they will aggressively come after you like a bull in a china shop. It will lead to awkward moments where you get picked up and twirled or pushed up against walls and have your face licked or have someone jam their tongue in your ear or if you’re me – ALL OF THE ABOVE! Sometimes I think my being Canadian must lead kiwis to confuse me with a popsicle but that’s not even half as awkward as having to explain to someone that just because we’ve had brunch, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay to tell everyone that we’re a couple.

Keep in mind that all the above is nothing but a generalization but in my humble opinion, take it as the rule and not the exception. All good though because what my time in NZ has taught me is that maybe I’m a hopeless romantic or atleast someone not willing to put up with being man-handled by intoxicated individuals who are so socially awkward that they’re unable to approach me while sober. I may come across as a prude but the one thing I know for certain is that I’m looking for quality not quantity and can spot the difference despite how hard a guy might try.

I woke up feeling like I was beaten while I slept but then it all came rushing back to me. The truth is that there’s no domestic abuse fairy that lives in my room as all this pain was self-inflicted. The thing is, the day before I completed (barely, I might add) the Goldies Bush – Mokoroa Stream Circuit which is graded as easy/medium. What they forget to mention is that it’s easy/medium if you’re Spiderman or some other amazing super hero! Sadly, I am not.

The nine of us out on this particular day decided to do the walk leading up to the falls which means we would tap the stream track first. What they forgot to post at the entrance of this track is that there are numerous stream crossing and slippery rocks so it’s for experienced trekkers only. Without having this vital piece of information, we set of on our walk. In the water, out of the water just to get back into the water again and that quickly turned into face-plant into the water or face-plant into the mud only to slip back into the water. We all bailed at one point or another as we left chunks of skin all throughout the circuit. It would have been awful if it wasn’t so damn funny and so we laughed at each other and our own misfortunes as we made our way to the waterfall.

Ah the memories. There was the time that I ate it at the steam’s edge only to get hit by the current and roll around some more

The Waterfall

(sometimes, you just can’t be wet enough) or when another fellow hiker face-planted in the mud and the majority voted that she just slide into the water instead of attempting to stand up. One after another, there was the mud or the water or some combination of the two that was the root of an epic spill for someone. There was no going back as the thought of what we had experienced was so horrifying that it was best to just continue onto the unknown. All we could do was help each other out as we moved forwards. The moment that makes me laugh the most was when the experienced woodsman of the group asked if it was okay to touch my bum to give me a boost onto a rock. I might have said sure but I was secretly thinking of saying why yes, touch whatever you like as long as you hurl my body onto this rock. Please and thank you! Its moments like this that will make me look back fondly on the day. The circuit wasn’t anything to write home about but it was the people who I was with that made it amazing!

I’m sitting in my room making piles of keepers, maybes, donations, and trash where the only thing that I’m certain of is that I suck at packing (sadly, this blog entry may be my way to avoid the task at hand but anyone in my shoes would do the same exact thing!). The thing is, earlier this year, I made the discussion to quit my life in NZ and in two short weeks, I’ll be setting off to anywhere but here. It was a decision that I wasn’t planning on making at this time but certain circumstances forced my hand and so here I am attempting to jam my life into two suitcases once again.

Yes, I said two suitcases as I’m now taking an extra bag despite the fact that the airline I’m flying with only allows 1 checked bag with my international ticket that cost $1749.63. At the time I booked, my rational was that a 12 day stopover in the Cook Islands on my way back to Vancouver was well worth the hassle of only 1 checked bag but I’m now starting to reconsider that. Turns out shipping anything into Canada costs a pretty penny and so I’m left with a lot of packing, weighing, unpacking before repacking it all once again. Eventually, I’ll get it right but right now its the one thing that stressing me beyond belief as there are certain sentimental items (and shoes) that I refuse to leave behind.