Wednesday, April 07, 2010

FAME, BITCH-SLAPPING AND SWOLLEN CHERRIES

I'm on flight back from New York, so I'd figure I'd kill the ride with a blog. Fame and Violence. Two of my favorite subjects. In light of the recent accusations about Marc Cherry assaulting one of his actresses, I thought I'd weigh in from a showrunner's perspective. First, let me qualify by saying I do not know Mr. Cherry, nor do I watch his show. I'm sure it is a good show, it's just not my particular shade of lipstick. I also do not know any of the facts of the alleged attack, other than those released to the press. I will say that the headlines sent a shiver up my spine. As much as I enjoy the status of running a high-profile show, the Cherry news made me painfully aware of the downside of, as Variety recently profiled, the celebrity showrunner. Clearly, the "look at me" sword cuts both fucking ways.

I love my small slice of fame. Anyone who says they don't want to be famous is lying (except JD Salinger, I believed him). It's not without it's drawbacks, but faced with the desire to have it or have it not, the truthful would opt for the have. From Actor to Zoologist, everyone dreams of being loved, adored and worshiped. I wish it wasn't true. Really, I wish I was deeper and secure enough that I didn't crave the attention of strangers, but alas, Facebook and Twitter give me half a chubbie (I reserve the full chubbie for other parts of the internet). Plus the instant connection to the fanbase of SOA is remarkable. I enjoy the feedback, the wacky suggestions and the deep felt connection folks have to my characters. It's incredibly gratifying and serves as a great way to keep our audience plugged into the show during our long downtime off-air.

The truth is, self-promotion comes very easily to me. I have a huge fucking ego and my favorite subject is Kurt Sutter. If I am being truly honest, I am my own biggest fan. I try to temper that by staying honest and outing myself on my own lack of humility. To stay right-sized I have to always put the work in front of my own needs. Meaning, at the end of the day, Sons of Anarchy needs to be more important than my career goals. If I can remember to keep the creative work the priority, I'm usually capable of doing my job while remaining a decent and approachable man.

Here is why the Cherry thing scares me -- that could have easily been me. Not the striking an actress part, I adore my actors and our set is a big fucking love-fest. It's the anger part. Letting the stress and frustration of the gig push me past the point of rational choice. I'm not an angry guy, but I'm an extraordinarily controlling guy. When I sense any loss of control, I get scared. When I'm scared, I panic. When I panic, I act out. All that happens in a millisecond. For me, it usually manifests into an inappropriate email or slamming a phone down on an agent or executive. Shit happens. I'm not making excuses for Mr. Cherry. If he did actually strike someone, no matter what the circumstances, there needs to be reckoning. I'm just saying it's a wake up call for writers, directors and producers. Our behavior is no longer private property, hidden behind stage walls. If we choose to live by Twitter, we can die by TMZ. Because now our behavior is of interest and we are capable of generating dirt for public consumption. So, if I have a meltdown on set, no one can stop a bored extra from snapping a photo or video snip and uploading it to Twitter. We live in an invasive age, where "everyone is big brother" (my wife's quote). I know this is not new, we've been here for awhile. It's just new for me and some of my brethren.

My first impulse is to completely unplug. Burn all my accounts and recess back into the shadows of my writer's room, but I think it's too late for that. Me disappearing from the scene could actually negatively impact the show. Maybe. So, instead I will try to embrace the challenge. The truth is, anything to keep my ego in check and my behavior accountable is probably a good thing. Sometimes humility has to kick me in the nuts to get my attention. I'm guessing Cherry's nuts are sufficiently swollen. I'm sure that was his accuser's attention.

Don't worry, Kurt, we all know if you ever snap it's going to be on some Facebook fan who sends you yet another invite to start a virtual farm or be a virtual mobster or eat a virtual hamburger or whatever godawful stupid thing they think of next.

Or maybe next time pull her hair while your doing it.......it works for me!!! All in good fun and glad to see you know yourself well enough to realize your short fallings. Or should I say quirks...can't wait for the show to return.

I loved reading your blog! It was honest and I think all people need to realize there is prices to pay for their actions. Your wife's comment about everyone being big brother is so true and had me laughing! SOA is by far the best show in many years! Keep up the great work and ego in check lol!

It's an interesting viewpoint you share here, and nowhere near uncommon. It's a conundrum that actually slips deeper into the media than you migis a viable concern in so many industries nowadays. I am an art director for a publishing company, and interestingly enough, some editors, especially the higher profile ones, are quite concerned about the use of Twitter, Facebook, etc., etc., etc. And while they are not appearing on a show of SOA's caliber, several of them appear on television shows that are specific to their magazine's subject matter, and several are respected experts and authors. And even THESE guys are seriously concerned with the invasion of privacy and the potential kick in the sweet spot that an old high school flame that got burned can give them on a fan page or through a tweet. Regardless of allegations being true or not, perception is all too often the reality by which most people traffic. The evil that men allegedly do, if you'll allow me to paraphrase WS.

In an age where everyone has the potential of at least SOME skeletons in their closets, dregs are coming out of the woodwork with maps to those closets, even in an industry as seemingly small as the ones my medium serves. And no, the irony does not escape me that I am not naming names as to who these people are, or for what company I work. Suffice it to say, you can't walk through Wally World's book section without seeing some of our hard work.

So while Mr. Cherry may or may not have struck anyone remains to be seen, sometimes the mere accusation is all it takes. And with the vehicles at the disposal of the medium being mainly viral and mainly interactive, there is more of a danger of some folks good being interred with the bones, and evils they never even came close to considering living long after them.

yeah Kurt, you are right, doesnt take much to kill a person these days. you can put a bullit in a gun and pull the trigger or you can post on the internet or to TMZ some off the wall truth about a person and bang their are dead. well ok ok their reputattion is dead. really sucks. good luck with the show. MDMC.org David Bombardier

I like reading your blog. It gives me the impression that you are open and honest and you say what you think and I like that. I also like that you say fuck a lot. Childish I know, but makes you more real. You have a good perspective and way of looking at things. All I can say is keep it up man. :)

Wow, I was a little nervous with the title of your blog but was still intrigued to read it. I am a fan of SOA and I agree with what you are saying in this blog. I respect that you acknowledge and admit your faults. You Rock! -Leanne V. from Covina,CA

"I have a huge fucking ego and my favorite subject is (insert your name here)." is AWESOME. I hate that I have to write this, but you literally made me "lol". Another nugget of your expansive perspective Sutter, thanks for that. Godspeed & safe travels on this crazy f'n ride.

Aw Kurt, it was all good till the aging starlet crack, she's an actress, she's been around a long time (Paper Dolls, Knot's landing)and just happens to still look good. If it was a dude would he be an aging anything?

You're right, Mr. S. We all do want some kind of positive recognition for what we create. I get a thrill whenever my fanfiction gets a positive review. Why is it we get more out of the praise of strangers than we do from our family? Is is because family feels obligated to be 'nice'?

As far as the 'Cherry Incident', guess I've been living under a rock or something, as I've heard naught about it. But, also tend to avoid TMZ, ET, Insider, and the rest of those Gawd awful info gossip shows like the plague (or Tig avoiding a monastery). Wish it was as easy to avoid the other crash and burns of celebs (ie, Sandra Bullock and Jesse James' flame out. Sheesh! Why are we so interested in seeing stars misery?)

Actually, we've always lived with 'big brother' watching us. Studios used to have their own gossip mills, back when the pictures went to 'talkie'. Course, they usually tried to make the celebrity shine and rubbed hard to get rid of the tarnish. Even back in the days before social networking sites, camera and digital phones and the like, it was still possible for disgruntled employees etal to sell their stories to the gossip mongers.

However, in the last few years, thanks to all the technological advances with the world wide web, it's a Hell of a lot easier for one to be caught with one's shorts down around one's ankles, literally and figuratively...and to see it online within seconds.

What the 'Cherry Incident' really tells us all, no mattere how famous we might be, is that we need to be very careful of what we (the mouse in my pocket is at it again!) say and do. The basic rule of thumb to remember is that if you don't want to see it rerun ad nauseum on the internet, don't do it. If you do, chances are it'll be captured and shared with the world.

I have to say that I would truely be upset if you sunk away. I enjoy everything you write and stand for. You are amazing. Your wife is amazing. Now that I know of "Kurt Sutter" there is no turning back! lol Please never stop expressing yourself, beliefs and opinions!

I've thought a lot about if I'd want to be famous or not. I've come to the conclusion of NOT. Yeah, I'd Love to have the $beans$... lot's o land in the mountains. Nice cabin. Traveling. Gifting stranges with gifts needed, bigger then what I can afford. A big Kick ass tattoo by Tin-Tin..the list can go on & on BUT I wouldn't want to sacrifice my privicy in exchange. There's no amount of Cash that would be worth my Anonymity in my book. I'm thrilled that there are those of you who can deal with it, who enjoy it. I'd have no Tig to 'Jill off' too if you'd been a bean counter or fire chief. That would righteously suck! So I'm indebeted..

Tellin it like it is, Kurt. One of the mounting reasons that I think you're so awesome. Sure appreciate your honesty, and the always captivating way in which you write.

Here's an ego pump for you.. I've never followed a television writer/producer/director/actor the way that I follow you. You're like a rock star in my book. I am connected to your show and your characters like never, ever before.

Thanks for being so good at what you do, and providing the level of entertainment that you do. Anybody who is good at what they do deserves the money and the fame. Enjoy it.

Hope you'll forgive the fan letter.. it comes from the heart. You're the man.

My question is: Has Mark Cherry got a pair of nuts to get all swollen and juicy over? I mean his show is basically vagina lovefest with the claws fully extended. Unfortunate viewing for anyone not on deathrow.

We/I, fans of Kurt Sutter & Sons of Anarchy appreciate the blogs you write to us. What a great way to pass the time on a plane trip ( as opposed to being blocked in your seat, by a 200 pound ass, that farts & snores at the same time) ( Been there before, wish I had access to a laptop back then) I can look at Otto's face and see that you ( Kurt)are a man to be reckoned with. I can see that you could be a loyal friend ( to those you choose to be friends with) and you could also be one helluva adversary, so I would never try to doublecross you or yours...As I read the comments that "fans" write, it pisses me off when someone writes on the SOA pages, about how fucking great another actor is, or a show ...to me, that is disrespecting Kurt Sutter and the fans of Sons.I am truly sorry that the voting for Gemma got fucked up at the last moments.We all know that Katey sets the bar, and NO Other female even comes close to her. Or your ensemble for that matter.Peace to you & all the SOA crew.Betzblue@dragonflygurl4u@yahoo.com

LOL, i love this one. your writing is so unique and honest. and to think i assumed this was gonna be a blog about Gemma losing to the burn notice guy. THAT BLOWS!! Keep up the good work hope to get to see the runaways one day...did i get that right? that is the title right... anyway, love your work and your smoking wife.

Gotta respect a man that can call himself out. I learned a lesson in humility the hard way and it changed my life, wish I could thank the guy responsible for it, but I think he is busy now. I could go on longer but won't, just wish I could thank him for putting my ego in check and me out of trouble.

"Really, I wish I was deeper and secure enough that I didn't crave the attention of strangers, but alas, Facebook and Twitter give me half a chubbie" You are not alone. In this age of social networking, everyone can be the God of their own webpage. Katey's nailed it - "everyone is big brother". I admit to getting a little thrill every time my number of twitter followers goes up and I'm not even a somebody lol.

Thanks for another delicious slice of blog pie Kurt. Always a pleasure to read and never a chore. SFFS.

Hey Kurt, as a fellow control-freak I get what you say about keeping yourself in check. I don't get this bit about a lack of humility, I got a lot of love for you (we've never met) because you tell it how it is and don't (seem) to hold back or cringe from any taboo or convention.

I don't even know the story that inspired your blog-post but again, it's well rounded and grounded with real feelings.

I love reading your blog and getting a refreshing dose of honesty, reality, and humor of... life in Kurt Sutter's lane. Something I've learned over the years; if they like you... they'll forgive you. It's hard to forgive an asshole so just stay the likable dude you are and all will be good. Besides, something tells me Kate's got your back and helps you stay grounded.

Anyway, Kurt, love your blog, and SoA is among my top 5 TV shows of ALL TIME. Your ego does not separate you from others in your industry, but your honesty does. Thanks for putting it all out there. So refreshing.

There are alot of good comments here and I love the honesty in your blog and that you seem to exude in your life. Since everything good has already been said all that is left is "Dude, you fuckin ROCK!"

You hit the nail on the head! Great talent begets great ideas begets great honesty. I just hope you're not one in a million. I hope that there are more of 'us' out there that believe and agree with what you are saying here. And Katy is so right; in this day and age, there is no privacy and everything is being watched and listened to with more intensity than Andy had in mind when he coined the "15 mins of fame" phrase. If you are honest about what you say and what you believe, and what you do, you should be a happy person.Keep up the good work!

Kurt, as per Katye's "big brother" remark-I recommend the author, John Twelvehawks for Katey - His first book, The Traveler, puts the whole on-the-grid-off-the-grid into perspective. I swear, you'll never enter a store or an airport again without checking how many cameras are on you. Also, the author lives off-the-grid. No one knows who he/she is.Great outlook on your career - feeding the ego to produce your dreams, but knowing the pitfalls that go along with it.

Kurt, what I love most about your regular comments on sutterink and Facebook is that your mind is the equivalent of a garden-hose faucet valve turned all the way on, then torqued just a bit more to try and squeeze more water out. Stay raw.

Best show hands down!!! A marvelous masterpiece..was skeptical at first but you pulled me in!!!Nor Cal boy so love the props there!!I also appreciate your candid and honest comments on the blog...refreshing...looking forward to another kick ass season of SOA!!! Also the merchandise is fantastic!!! Entire family represents on a weekly basis!!!

I think that it is interesting that the man with the self proclaimed 'huge fucking ego' said that if he unplugged and disappeared from the scene that it 'could' hurt the show. 'Maybe.' As if you aren't completely aware of and have idea of what the consequences would be. Are you fucking kidding! OF COURSE it would negatively impact the show, you are father, son, and holy spirit of SOA.

Shit... I just stroked that ego of yours! Damn, i fell for it, well played sir! haha

Jokes aside, thank you for all of your words of wisdom and the amazing show you have created within Sons of Anarchy. Your interaction and appreciation of your fans is refreshing. Like any addict, my SOA withdrawls are debilitating; my anticipation of the third season is awful and embarrassing. However, ur blogs always give me that little taste of what I need to tide me over. What a smart business man you are. I'm hooked, and lovin' every minute of it!

Kurt, Awesome show. I love it when people ask me,(knowing my status relative to a certain real MC), "does that stuff really happen?" well..."no comment, read the newspaper, etc..." is what you will likely get from me, or any other real "associate or member". Real-deal issues faced by one (or many) MC's over the span of many years, packed in to a season of shows makes for an exciting ride! I also dig it when they point at my scoot and say "oh, you set up your bike like SOA"...my response..."Nope, SOA set theirs up like ours"...Art imitates life...My 92 FXRS-Sp was set up like that 10 years ago...but, VERY nice job on the hardware and realistic lifestyle. MY question:Your only prospect is history. There were no hang-arounds or wanna-be's, Charming seems a little cut off from the outside world, and not a big biker talent pool to draw from. Do you have a couple new bloods comming along? Consider this for your new blood...How 'bout some hard-core Vets, just returned from the sandbox, to round out the cast? Some of the most dedicated and down Brothers are Vets looking for the type of comradire only the military or an MC can provide. They are also VERY well trained in the use and care of SAMCRO's favorite commodity. Not to mention the story line it would open up, and the fan base it would create. We all love our heros...and those who dont, should be dragged behind my bike by a chain for at least a mile. ;-)So, ht me back if you like my idea!Again,Bravo Kurt! OUT_FREEKIN_STANDING show!"Chili"

You know, in today's time..... It is very hard to find an honest person on the street, or even in your own family..... It's nice to see that even through the fame and glitz of Hollywood, there happens to be at least one honest person who not only isn't afraid to be honest, but is also willing to speak it. Thank you Kurt, Your blogs are ALWAYS refreshing.

Phame is a bitch from Hell....People will burn money for it....Ill advised Emails are my forte too...I call it Hoof in Mouth Disease....I can't comment on Desperate Housewives since I've never seen itthough my Brush with "DH" Phame is thatI got Teri Hatcher her first SAG job on a toothpaste commercial in the early 80'sUltra Brite or Close Up National...When I wasa Friend of Columbian Exporters and an agentThat and a Nickel won't even buy me "Burnt Toast"these days

Kurt (Part 1…please bare with me)I have recently been introduced to the Sons of Anarchy. I was a little skeptical at first until the characters, the drama, the dialog unfolded, sucked me in and blew my mind!!! I am an aspiring writer by night disguised as an analyst by day working for a major financial institution. Boring, boring, boring….need I say more?Please embrace the fame and recognition the public has so graciously bestowed upon you. We love you!!! You are a creative genius for coming up with this story line and cast. Without you, there is no SOA!! Totally amazing and mind blowing!!!! I am falling in love with each and every one of them! Katey has surprised us all!! I fell to pieces during the scene where Gemma was raped. It enraged me! I personally wanted to go out, hunt down the rapists and kick all their asses!!! Your writing style and the acting ability of the cast is very, very real. Katey is an incredible, believable actress and a very talented singer. I love her version of Ruby Tuesday! So please take the attention, tuck it in your pocket for safe keeping and when you need a HUGE ego boost look at what you have done! I would. I am published, however not at all famous. The stuff I write seems to be a little “off.” I don’t write about having tea and crumpets or rainbows and fucking butterflies. I am a realist. I call it like I see it. I have never tried to even get a publisher. Why bother I say. My ego is pretty deflated as well as my self esteem. America likes to beat you down and step on you like a piece of shit. Not sure why. Maybe it’s really a huge conspiracy so that we will all just comply and follow all the fucked up “policies” they make up as they go. Now that the Sons are gone, I have found other ways to occupy the hours of my restless sleeplessness. I have found your blog. I look forward to reading it and today you actually made me laugh. I love your sarcastic sense of humor. I try mine out on the bankers but it doesn’t go over so well. I love the SOA and if you ever disappear and decide to unplug you will have a major uprising on your hands. I have come to realize that life is really too short to be stuck in a dead-end, ungratifying, demoralizing, politically driven suffocating job (I won’t EVEN give it the satisfaction of calling it a career. I know it’s not.)

I am a mother of two small children, married and perhaps going through a midlife crisis. All I can tell you is that this show is amazing. My husband made me watch it with him and I was turned off because it was a show about bikers. Mostly turned off because I think he already went through his midlife crisis and begged me to let him buy a HD when I was about ready to pop with our first baby. I told him go ahead….I’ll be back to get child support….fucking dick!!!!! Ok, we are past that now. Now I want to get the HD (Harley Davidson), leave this godforsaken town and move to a place like Charming!!!! Don’t stop writing. Between the script and the awesome cast I cannot stop watching. Where in the hell did they find “Jax?” What a great casting job! He does remind me of Brad in his younger days and I am hoping he won’t go out and start adopting one child from every fucking country just because he can….lol I am a blue-eyed blonde aging faster than I care to admit. The stress from this annoyingly fucked up world and out of control economy is killing everyone slowly inside. It’s literally ripping out their souls, removing their happiness along with their spines and giving them absolutely no reason to go on. So many people are unemployed, losing their homes and out on the street with nowhere to go it sickens me. Your show gave me back my balls (mentally) and my spine…lol Thank you for that! To summarize, in my opinion, as validated within my peer group in the Midwest (we all took placebos…lol) the Sons of Anarchy is reaching out across the globe and captivating and entrancing all of us. The unemployed, the weak, the sick, the youth gone completely wild, the righteous, the dead-end, no-brainer “associates” of corporate America, the MILFS the GILFS the Cougars, the balding middle-aged men, the poor, the middle class, the stay at home moms, the moms that work 24/7 and reeled us in. It is a refreshing change to the boring humdrum reruns and monotonous sitcoms. I look forward to it, all of it! Perfectly timed soundtracks and nice exhibit of new musical talent! I love Audra Mae and Forever Young!! Incredible display of pure raw talent!!! The SOA is raw. It’s brutal. It’s pure fucking honesty. And it’s just what we need right now!

Hey Outsider...Hang in there and keep at it. Don't let them break you. Emails are also my forte...that's all I've got outside of one published poem that nobody gives a shit about. Too busy making money working a full time job that I fricken hate. I have kids to raise after all. I would so love to be a free lance writer but hanven't got a single clud on how to even pursue that dream. All I know is one should never stop dreaming. Once you stop....you might as well lay down and die. Keep working at it. You know what they say right? If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Kurt never gave up trying!! He has truly inspired me to try to find a way out of my f'd up box. I need to before I go completely insane (your future)....keep at it. The benefits are amazing once somebody realizes your true potntial. :) Still waiting but maybe someday I'll find an opportunity. I'm too old to start from the bottom and work my way up. I am not in my 20's anymore. Time is a wasting. SO don't waste your time and go after your dreams.

PS; I have to say I loved you as Otto!!! I jumped out of my seat and cheered you on when you smashed her face in. Is that wrong??? She fucking deserved it. Recently she appeared on Law & Order SUV and played the same type of role. She is actually good at acting out the role of a psychopath. I'm sure she's really not. But once again, Kudo's to the cast. They all play their parts perfectly. I am anxiously awaiting September when I can see your creativity at work on my TV screen. Thank you!

Love your honesty! I can only imagine that a set sometimes gets to be a battle of egos. I'm the first to admit, I sure would like a little more recognition for what I do...

What's the truth in the DH drama? Who knows, though I suspect it's somewhere in between the two stories. I do tend to believe Cherry's version a bit more (no police report, took a year and half to file the suit).

Thanks for your insightful blog posts. And an even bigger THANKS for the always fantastic SOA.