“What is happening with the food co-op where they are seriously considering a boycott of Israel?” he said, likening the suggested ban to a subtle version of drawing swastikas. “When you use words like ‘I’m just anti-Israel’ or ‘I’m just anti-Zionist’ — that’s anti-Semitic.”

We imagine he then wheeled out his chalkboard and sketched out the web of deceit radiating out from the co-op. As Brooklyn has long know, the seemingly harmless grocery store is really the seat of the worldwide Illuminati.

This is not the first time Mr. Beck has set his sights on Brownstone Brooklyn. Two years ago, he actually admitted to enjoying some of the Slope’s culinary delights, specifically those at the cherished Chip Shop.