Did Descartes have it right? “I think, therefore, I am”? Or maybe Twain’s observation that “humans are the only creatures who blush…or need to”? Fairy tales and speculative fiction are awash with the theme, of what it means to be truly human. Wooden Pinocchio wants to be a real boy. Silicone and steel android Data longs to know what it is to be human, despite the irony that the longing is itself a human emotion. He is curious about what it means to be curious. Curiouser and curiouser! Strange visitors from another planet are raised by humans to embrace a code of decency and honor. Others come and fall in love... does love make us human?

And what of those who, became somehow more than human? Radioactive spider bites, bombardment with gamma radiation, mutations of the human genome…at what point can it be said that a human transcends humanity and becomes homo superior?

Now imagine having those philosophical musings, discussing and arguing the respective points over the course of ten years. College boy conundrums? Speculation at a seminary? Meditations at a monastery? No. A discussion about...the level of taxes on...toys.

The forthcoming Avengers movie, directed by Joss Whedon and expected May 4 from Walt Disney Pictures, depicts the Marvel superhero group teaming up to save the Earth from utter destruction.

Saving the world is ordinary fare for superheroes, especially teams like the Avengers and the X-Men. But one of the biggest battles ever fought in the Marvel universe took place in the real world, a historic fight that lasted 10 years and crossed America.

The clash ended quietly in 2003, with a monumental, six-figure legal ruling by the U.S. government: The X-Men and many other superheroes simply aren’t human.

Or more precisely, they’re not dolls, which, according to the U.S. Customs Bureau, represent “only human beings.” They’re toys, which represent “animals or non-human creatures.”

What’s the difference? Gazillions of dollars.

Even though it sounds like the sort of discussion the nerds on The Big Bang Theory might discuss, this was big business.

The U.S. government waded into the “mutant or mortal” battle 19 years ago at ports in Los Angeles and Seattle after Customs officials there classified several large shipments of action figures, including the X-Men, as “dolls” instead of “toys.”

But labeling the figures as “dolls” made importing the X-Men nearly twice as expensive as they would have been as “toys,” facing a 12 percent tax rather than a 6.8 percent tax.

...Recognizing the difference between toys and dolls, international trade lawyers Sherry Singer and Indie Singh saw an opportunity to save Marvel a lot of money by getting the X-Men, along with Marvel’s other action figures, including the Hulk, Spider-Man, and Iron Man, reclassified as toys.

At this point, one is hard pressed whether to laugh or cry. To think that for ten years lawyers have been working, on both sides, and expert witnesses have been testifying whether Barbie should be taxed at a higher rate than Wolverine, reminds me of another Bizarro world I read about when I was younger.

Does the government really have a vested interest in whether or not the Human Torch is more human than torch? I know it is in the DNA of every bureaucrat to micromanage every aspect of our lives, but at some point, can't we decide that the government we have is more than we really ever needed? When our toys are categorized, not by weight, or the amount of polystyrene or paint, but by the philosophical backstory of their characters???

I suppose I could have titled this "What is a doll?" But, would that have piqued your human curiosity and caused you to read this far? And would you have had as much of a surprise making the hyperspace leap from comic book heroes to taxes and tariffs?

This is but one more illustration of the bloated bureaucracy that nibbles away at our economic freedoms and attempts to regulate every aspect of our lives. It's way past time to start taking our country back from our wooden headed, would be masters and their arbitrary rules and regulations.

Equal rights for G.I.Joe! In the meantime, before we can roll back this overly burdensome and somewhat ridiculous over regulation, I suggest that Mattel put out a comic book where Barbie, Ken and Skipper all get bitten by radioactive spiders...

The folks at Mattel can show their gratitude to me with a small percentage of the tax savings realized...

Sunday, January 29, 2012

To the delight of some and the chagrin of others, after a long hiatus, we continue with one more tribute to those lovely lasses who would bare their assets to further the cause of PETA. Because the world needs naked, nearly naked and vegetable clad vegetarians!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Folks, I was apparently one of a diminishing number of Americans with the stomach to listen to Barry drone on for an hour on his SOTU speech. But, as a public service to my readers, I did watch it, so imagine my surprise when the guy who gave the speech gets it so terribly wrong!

Use the comments as an open thread on any of these topics. If you feel that I’ve neglected a link, news, commentary, humor or Rule Fivage, send a link to the contact email on the sidebar. (All spambots must die!)

President Obama, alighting from the stairs of Air Force One in Phoenix this afternoon, was greeted by Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, who handed him an envelope and the two exchanged what appeared to be some heated sentiments. At one point, she pointed her finger at him.

“I said to him that I have all the respect in the world for the office of the president. The book is what the book is. I asked him if he read the book. He said he read the excerpt,” she said, according to a pool report. “He didn’t feel that I had treated him cordially. I said I was sorry he felt that way but I didn’t get my sentence finished. Anyway, we’re glad he’s here. I’ll regroup.”

In the envelope she had given him was a handwritten letter, Brewer said — “an invitation that I’ve extended to him before with regards to coming to Arizona and going to the border with me. . . . We’ve had a remarkable comeback here and I want to share that with him.”

A White House official confirmed the invitation and described the encounter in more bureaucratic terms: “The President said he’d be glad to meet with her again, but did note that after their last meeting, a cordial discussion in the Oval Office, the governor inaccurately described the meeting in her book. The President looks forward to continuing taking steps to help Arizona’s economy grow.”

The pool reporter, POLITICO’s Carrie Budoff Brown, said the scene was far from the norm. Aside from the pointing, they appeared to talk over each other and he appeared to walk away from her while they were still talking.

My clear takeaway from this story is that President Thin-Skin couldn't stand the fact that Governor Real Leader's book has a (passage?) that is slightly less-than-rosy toward Him. They met on the tarmac, sparks of discontent flew, God forbid.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty. Capt. Sprayberry, Armor, U.S. Army, distinguished himself by exceptional bravery while serving as executive officer of Company D. His company commander and a great number of the men were wounded and separated from the main body of the company. A daylight attempt to rescue them was driven back by the well entrenched enemy's heavy fire. Capt. Sprayberry then organized and led a volunteer night patrol to eliminate the intervening enemy bunkers and to relieve the surrounded element. The patrol soon began receiving enemy machinegun fire. Capt. Sprayberry quickly moved the men to protective cover and without regard for his own safety, crawled within close range of the bunker from which the fire was coming. He silenced the machinegun with a hand grenade. Identifying several l-man enemy positions nearby, Capt. Sprayberry immediately attacked them with the rest of his grenades. He crawled back for more grenades and when 2 grenades were thrown at his men from a position to the front, Capt. Sprayberry, without hesitation, again exposed himself and charged the enemy-held bunker killing its occupants with a grenade. Placing 2 men to cover his advance, he crawled forward and neutralized 3 more bunkers with grenades. Immediately thereafter, Capt. Sprayberry was surprised by an enemy soldier who charged from a concealed position. He killed the soldier with his pistol and with continuing disregard for the danger neutralized another enemy emplacement. Capt. Sprayberry then established radio contact with the isolated men, directing them toward his position. When the 2 elements made contact he organized his men into litter parties to evacuate the wounded. As the evacuation was nearing completion, he observed an enemy machinegun position which he silenced with a grenade. Capt. Sprayberry returned to the rescue party, established security, and moved to friendly lines with the wounded. This rescue operation, which lasted approximately 71/2 hours, saved the lives of many of his fellow soldiers. Capt. Sprayberry personally killed 12 enemy soldiers, eliminated 2 machineguns, and destroyed numerous enemy bunkers. Capt. Sprayberry's indomitable spirit and gallant action at great personal risk to his life are in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit, and the U.S. Army.

Capt. Sprayberry: We humbly salute you and thank you for your service.

There are fewer than a hundred living MoH recipients today. Their names and their stories should not be forgotten. My mission is to honor one of those heroes here each week, and salute them for their courage and sacrifice. In the words of John Fitzgerald Kennedy:

“A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces, but also by the men it honors; the men it remembers.”

Despite adopting Occupy Wall Street's message for his State of the Union speech, it's not yet known if the Democrats attending the Joint Session will form a drum circle to emphasize the president's talking points...mostly because it's so hard to beat a drum if your hands are in someone else's pockets.

To the delight of some and the chagrin of others, after a long hiatus, we continue with one more tribute to those lovely lasses who would bare their assets to further the cause of PETA. Because the world needs naked, nearly naked and vegetable clad vegetarians!

On a night with the false reports of Joe Paterno's death, I am sad to announce the death of a fellow blogger, Gina Cobb. I never met her, but I always enjoyed reading her blog. Gina passed away peacefully on December 30th.

Just a reminder that none of us lives forever and no one is promised tomorrow. Love 'em while you've got 'em!

Barack Obama’s 2008 Iowa New Media Director was arrested Friday for attempting to use the identities of Secretary of State Matt Schultz, and/or his brother Thomas, with the intent to falsely implicate the Secretary Schultz in illegal or unethical behavior. Zach Edwards, 29, of Des Moines, currently works for Link Strategies, a Democrat-affiliated organization with ties to Iowa Senator Tom Harkin. Edwards is the Director of New Media for Link Strategies.

The Secretary of State’s office discovered the alleged crime and reported it to authorities. Edwards turned himself in to the Iowa DCI agents Friday afternoon. He was charged with identity theft, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Polk County jail. Edwards posted $2,000 bail and was released later on Friday. He faces up to two years in prison.

So, a former Obama staffer uses illegal or unethical behavior to try to smear a Republican with... charges of illegal or unethical behavior? Got it. Psychologists call that "Projection".

Use the comments as an open thread on any of these topics. If you feel that I’ve neglected a link, news, commentary, humor or Rule Fivage, send a link to the contact email on the sidebar. (All spambots must die!)

President Obama’s rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico is an act of national insanity. It isn’t often that a president makes a decision that has no redeeming virtues and — beyond the symbolism — won’t even advance the goals of the groups that demanded it. All it tells us is that Obama is so obsessed with his reelection that, through some sort of political calculus, he believes that placating his environmental supporters will improve his chances.

Mark Wahlberg claims he could have done what hundreds of other doomed passengers couldn't ... fought off the multiple 9/11 terrorists and saved one of the hijacked planes.

Wahlberg just gave an interview with Men's Journal ... in which he states, "If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, 'OK, we're going to land somewhere safely, don't worry.'"

Ha! Apparently Mark Wahlberg is having a tough time separating fact from silver-screen fiction.

What is it about today's actors' bloated sense of importance, entitlement, omniscience and elitism?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Remember when President Obama wanted to spend a lot of money and tried to justify it by calling it a "jobs bill"? His mantra for passing the bill was "We can't wait!"

Now, after three years of studies and delays, Obama is asked to just get out of the way of a project that will create tens of thousands of jobs that not only will not cost the government any thing, in fact it will add to government coffers, and Obama says, "Okay. We can wait."

The Obama White House is trying to spin this to make the Republicans at fault for setting an arbitrary, political time line for the President. The fact is, this deal is on the verge of going away and not coming back, as Canada finds another customer for its oil.

Additionally, the White House is crying that those mean, nasty Republicans are trying to rush this project through without a chance to study the alternatives...only, there have been more than three years worth of studies on this pipeline.

This is such a no brainer that many of us are astounded that the Chucklehead-in-Chief is standing in the way of this. It creates real, good paying jobs at no expense to the taxpayer. At a time when Iran, on the threshold of becoming a nuclear power, is threatening to blockade the Strait of Hormuz, the pipeline would provide added energy security in the case of any stoppage of Middle Eastern oil. We would be giving oil revenues to one of our closest allies and trading partner instead of sending them to countries prone to funding terrorism.

It would provide good jobs, union jobs, revenue to the states, to the feds and to tens of thousands of citizens in the time of recession and Obama doesn't want to risk alienating his environmentalist wacko base before the election. Nice.

If there was ever any doubt that the Narcissist-in-Chief cares about anything other than himself, the fact that he is willing to put his own electoral success (and access to a private 747, lavish parties with movie stars, paid vacations and all the golf courses he can dream of) over the welfare and prosperity of the American people should disabuse anyone of that notion.

The Keystone Pipeline would be good for America. Obama is against it. You do the math!

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John Cox is a painter, cartoonist, and illustrator for hire. For information about purchasing existing work or commissioning new work, contact him by e-mail at john555cox @ hotmail.com. (No spaces)

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