in all the ones where they do jump cuts, they are actually sitting there with their mouths open in silence for 10 minutes in between each discrete thought

Brendle

Chemtrail Clem

do the repulsive british ones think they are more clever and witty than the repulsive american ones or am i just projecting

halleys comet

An Enormous Boner

what is it with shitty people in dump hole houses and apartments and buying dvds

An Enormous Boner

Portland Faggot

Hes wearing an indiana jones shirt and talking about hunger games and its giving me acid reflux

Brendle

Chimney Sweeps Week

tthat guys head is cool. the top half of it is 40 and the bottom half is 14.

Brendle

Chimney Sweeps Week

its cool to be able to put a face and a voice to the unasked question "what kind of lonely ass faggot thrusts an open hand into the void" and its universally this guy

Chemtrail Clem

at the end of Beauty and the Beast when the curse was lifted a big turd floated out of the toilet and turned back into that guy

Brendle

one of the coolest things about veda and youtube in general is that these people don't seem to watch each other's videos. they have no idea how similar they are to everyone else and how their quirky mannerisms are actually symptomatic of large scale alienation and television inundation.

Rape

actually i think they do watch each other's videos and on some level of proto-awareness they notice the weird empty inhuman affectation that everyone else has, and they think that's the norm so that's what they internalize and try to emulate. and it all turns into a surreal feedback loop where every youtuber learns that the way to act on webcam is an autistic copy of an autistic copy of an autistic copy of the same bizarre socially malfunctioning behavior

Brendle

that might be true to some degree, but most of these videos would have 0-10 views without being linked here. there are people with dozens of videos who have a total view count of less than 10. if they all watched each others videos regularly, the average viewcount would be a lot higher. in any case, they are gay and so am i.

Rape

well, there are hundreds of these things being churned out. i just mean they probably watch one or two other veda videos for every one they make themselves, and wind up making a somehow even less perfect copy.

you're right though it doesn't change the seriously hilarious fact that they all clearly imagine themselves addressing some vast rapt audience of loyal youtube fans while actually just shouting forever into an empty bottomless pit ahaha

The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.

Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.