'Before we are entirely convinced that they aren't true, we must reject the message of our wounds. It's a way of unlocking the door to Jesus. Agreements lock the door from the inside. Renouncing the agreements unlocks the doors to Him.'
Captivating

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Perseverance in Healing

I recently was involved in a major car accident...the first ever. (Although I have been in several fender benders, but nothing causing injury.) I was asleep in the backseat, laying down with the passenger seat belt behind the driver securing me in. Not the smartest choice in where to buckle myself in, but at least I was buckled in. The seat belt was wrapped around my ribcage, so when the driver inadvertently fell asleep and crashed head first into a ditch I was folded in half at my ribcage upon impact. The Lord was definitely protecting us though. Thankfully I don't remember anything, what I know is based off of what
my bruises tell me and the story of others who saw what happened. The driver only received a scrapped knee that didn't need stitches and a brush burn from the seat belt with some bruising. I got a lot of bruising around my ribcage and chest area and some on my legs. There were no broken bones for punctured organs. Praise Jesus! The pain was pretty intense on my part. I couldn't sit up because it felt like my chest was exploding and my muscles wouldn't hold me. Everything was tingling, not in a good way, and it took sheer will power and a lot of slow moving to do anything in the ER. At one point I wondered if what I was feeling was equivalent to childbirth, just in a different area. If so, then I got that down for later. Haha! I also realized my pain tolerance was pretty good, and that I am capable of handling a lot of pain without medication. And since the paramedics wanted tests to go more quickly they didn't give me any pain killers til right before I was leaving, which was good cause I didn't want to be there any longer than they wanted me there. So in the heat of the moment I can handle the pain and work through it...

That's not really the case with the healing process. It has been difficult to wake up every morning and hurt. It has been frustrating that I can't lay down to sleep, I have to sit up. I haven't been able to go to work or drive. Being dependent on people is hard for me, and it's something I've had to do. I just want to be comfortable. The healing has been faster than what the doctors said it would be due to a lot of prayers from family and friends going before the Lord about it. But it's still taking time, as all healing does. I was hoping that I could go back to work on Mon; I had it all planned out. I was gonna push through the discomfort, not make a huge deal about how I was feeling, act like I can do more than I actually can, and be alright to work. My plan didn't really go as I wanted. The doctors want to make sure I am really ok and that I won't injure myself again by going back to work.

All of this got me thinking. This is similar to what happens when I am spiritually wounded. I can take the pain. I play it like things don't hurt as much as they do and I push through it to do what I need to do. Relying on my own will power to get through something is my go-to strategy. But when it comes time for the healing part I have very little patience, and I become frustrated with the process and time it takes. I want it to be quick and easy so that I can move on and continue life. But it's never easy and even though it may move faster some times than others, it's never fast enough. I have to rely fully on God in healing because I can't heal myself; the wound limits what I can do so I have to rely on someone else to do things for me. It is hard to rely on God. It's hard to wait for the healing to be complete so that the wound doesn't get reopened by my rushing. I know I'm not the only person that reacts this way to healing. Healing isn't easy for anyone. And if you say it is, then I'm calling you out on lying. If it's easy, then it's not true healing. It takes perseverance to go through the healing process.

In the New King James version, perseverance is used 8 times. The verse that is most associated with this word is Rom 5:3-5
"And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that
tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character;
and character, hope".
This is one of those verses that sometimes makes me want to throw the Bible and say "screw that". But that's beside the point. Seven out of the eight verses use one Greek word for perseverance, and the other verse a separate one. The first, which is used in the Romans verses just stated, comes from the word hupomone (hoop-om-on-ay') and means to have cheerful (or hopeful) endurance, constancy: enduring, patience, patient continuance (waiting). The second is proskarteresis (pros-kar-ter'-ay-sis) and means persistancy: perseverance.