We are live from the leisure centre

I am terribly on edge about running the marathon tomorrow, so I have been shouting at Dangerous. That is this mornings excuse anyway.

We have worked out that the reason that Ted is so bad at swimming compared to his peers is because he has skipped a group. The near drowning incident a couple of weeks ago is because he’s not good enough to be in the big pool.

Yesterday we went to the cinema. We got bargain tickets.

I do love a bargain.

It has to be said that I’m very generous with some things and somewhat of a skinflint about other things.

My children would very obligingly tell you of my tight-fistedness in many situations, especially where car parking is concerned. I’d rather walk fifteen minutes than pay eight quid to park somewhere. I laugh in the face of the parking attendants in many a National Trust car park and then make my darlings walk an extra mile to get to the entrance. It’s not that I begrudge the National Trust. I don’t but I’d rather spend the money in the cafe.

Some things are just so expensive that it’s absurd. Nearly everything that is aimed at keeping parents sane and children entertained during the holidays is extortionately priced.

There have been an awful lot of visits to parks this Easter holiday until I finally put my hand in my pocket begrudgingly to pay to go to the cinema with the crotchfruits. I love going to the cinema with my darlings. Obviously I embarrassed them in the foyer by lying down next to the cardboard cut out of a lady with nice big boobies.

I laid on the floor and bellowed “Spot the difference!” The crotchfruits looked aghast and tried to hide. One of them is still cross with me.

The best bit about it all (apart from embarrassing the kids) is that I got forty percent off the tickets with this app called “Kids Pass”
I paid for two adults and four kids to get in and it only cost me £34.30!

£34.30 in the holidays! OMFG! It should have been over sixty quid.

I’m not allowed to actually swear on this post as it’s boosted and you can’t swear on a boosted post – I’d like you to know how exceptionally hard I have found this.

I was a bit dubious when I first looked at this app because there’s loads of deals on cinema tickets but they all have specific days. This one is forty percent off all the time. We are going to do Legoland next week as well. That’s forty percent off with the Kids Pass too.

There’s loads of deals on loads of attractions for nice people who are kind to their children and for people like me too.

Obviously the money that I saved will be spent on the finest quality gin and some new, very Fashion Forward attire.

By next Friday, you will find me slumped over an empty bottle of gin muttering swear words and talking about queues at Legoland.

The Kids Pass is on an introductory offer of £1 for the first thirty days. There’s no minimum subscription, so if you don’t use it, you can cancel it.