We can't do better than our best, no matter how much we want to try. We can't be superheroes. We can't just twirl around and save the world, no matter how Amazonian and heroic we may feel. We can't defeat the darkness of disaster and unfairness and growing old.

My dad was a 40-a-day man - cigarettes not press-ups. He was one of the pre-war generation who started smoking as a teenager and, sadly, became addicted. My memories were of him lighting up a life-saving fag the minute he woke up in the morning - and that pretty much continued throughout the day.

So this is the first time we've seen people grow older with HIV on such a scale. Thirty years after the AIDS crisis took so many precious lives from us, it is extraordinarily positive to see this progress - but there are a lot of unknowns facing those of us growing older with HIV.

Three hours later I had fallen a little bit in love. Vera is 97 writes poetry, knits scarves for the homeless and loves meeting new people. Every day she goes out to different places to meet people and do things rather than taking the easy route and staying safely in front of the TV.

I used to be able to do simple things like get out of bed in a morning. Previously, the alarm would sound and I'd wake up, turn it off, get showered and leave the house. That's a skill that's deserted me; either I need to snooze six times to be able to face the day or my body hurts for no reason whatsoever.

She knew who she was, who I and other relatives were, but not where she was exactly or why. Memories and knowledge laid down long ago remained. Current experiences were hard to fathom. Hospital was difficult. Her cognition got worse with each stay.

It is an unlikely friendship. He's pushing 90, blind and not as quick on his feet as he used to be. She's not yet four, and until recently rarely said a word. Now she has found her voice and she has plenty to say for herself. Within moments she is holding the elderly gent's hand and he is laughing out loud. If he's not careful she'll soon be helping herself to the cake from his plate.

Clearly, age alone is no barrier to sexual activity, but there is a 'use it or lose it' aspect to sex in later life, and for older people, masturbation is probably the easiest and most effective way of sustaining both sexual desire and sexual function.

The stereotypes place old age somewhere else, in a different plane, where human individual dimensions don't normally apply. Perhaps this serves a protective function: as long as "old" is somewhere else, one can stay truly young by simply not going there.