Actor-singer David Hasselhoff, 61, wears a shirt branding him as a CAD at Coachella. KEVIN WINTER, FOR COACHELLA

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Kendall Jenner in a do-rag and awkward nose/earring combo. She might regret this look someday but she is bona fide Kardashian Klan, and just a teenager, so we're guessing there are a lot more regrettable looks in the future. CHRIS WEEKS, FOR LACOSTE

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Kylie Jenner decided to wear whatever Coachella festival fashion cliches her sister Kendall missed, including a faux floral crown that reminds us of something found in a Victorian funeral portrait. TODD OREN, FOR FRUTTARE

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Kendall Jenner wore just about every Coachella wardrobe cliche available, including a bindi and black crochet duster that would make Stevie Nicks jealous. TODD OREN, FOR FRUTTARE

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Singer Katy Perry is an objectively pretty woman and SOMETIMES wears nice things. This is not one of those times. Whatever that crop-top pencil skirt thing is, it doesn't deserve those shoes. FRAZER HARRISON, FOR COACHELLA

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Celebutante Paris Hilton wore one ill-fitting maxi dress after another-- always paired with muffin-head-making floral headdress and sunglasses -- at Coachella and its surrounding events, including this dress we think we saw on a sale rack at Marshalls. JESSE GRANT, FOR SAMSUNG

It was hard for me to pick the worst looks at the first weekend of Coachella – and not because everyone looked so stylish. No, it was hard because there were soooooo many hideous looks to choose from.

Would it be one of the Jenner girls (uh, yeah) or Coachella perennial and serial hair colorist Katy Perry (yes, again) or would it be has-so-much-money-yet-not-enough-to-hire-a-stylist Paris Hilton (what do you think?)

To be honest, I pretty much straight up hate what is now casually referred to as festi-wear. While I love a casual, romantic, summery – event appropriate – look as much as anyone, I hate the faux-boho-nouveau-hippie aesthetic that is Festival Wear.

I also hate that so much of it is bleeding into everyday street wear. (A floor-length black crochet duster? Thanks, Kendall. Next thing you know I won’t be able to walk through a mall without tripping on one of those.)

The faux flowered headbands (worn in a such a way as to look like your hair is puffing up in the back like a pair of too-tight jeans that creates a muffin top; it’s a muffin head); the high-waisted shorts that practically guarantee a wedgie (one friend refers to that as “hungry butt,” another calls ’em “a** eaters) and this year’s big trend: granny panties under a sheer dress or skirt, or as in the case of model Poppy Delevingne and singer Ellie Goulding, alone and paired with leather. Doesn’t matter who wears ’em, they just never look like they fit.

Anyway, in no particular order, and with a hyper-awareness that I sound like the old guy who just yelled at you to get off his lawn, here are my picks of some of the WORST looks at Coachella thus far:

The Jenner Girls: In which Kylie and Kendall do Coachella and manage to wear every music festival stereotype possible.

Jared Leto: He’s fine, no doubt, and he managed to rock a few bitchin’ Hawaiian shirts but he also wore zebra striped pants.

David Hasselhoff: Because he managed to look every bit the old guy hitting on hotties that he apparently is (his shirt says “cad”).

Justin Bieber: He’s on stage yet he’s wearing a goofy bucket hat, a bandanna (yes, for dust storms) and shades because he didn’t want people to know who he is?

Katy Perry: Blech. As bad as this ill-fitting bubbly blue crop top and skirt combo is, it didn’t deserve to be paired with those horrible black shoes. (Also, look into a blow dryer and sunscreen).

Tallulah Willis: Because GRANNY. PANTIES.

Paris Hilton: Gaw. Where do I start? She wore one un-amazing – and largely ill-fitting – maxi after another (one looked like you could snap it off the rack at Marshalls) while sporting a flower head band (muffin head included) and sunglasses even after dark.

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