Tifa "Kokoro" Armstrong (more commonly known as Tifa Lockheart due to bad English translations) is a bartender, terrorist, firefighter, and meteorologist along with accomplice Aeris Gainsborough. She has recently been accused of killing every Jenova's Witness that has come to her door. This is probably because they are incredibly annoying and because their name is also a really bad pun.

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Tifa was born sometime after the shattering of Magecite and before the invention of the gun-sword thingamajig. Tifa's father is John Lockhart who is Scottish and her mother is the spirit of a mountain climber who is of Japanese descent. Also, Tifa is Chef Gordon Ramsay's cousin. While searching for her mother in the mountains, Tifa fell of a cliff and landed on a cloud and named it the Nimbus 2000. For unknown reasons Tifa and the Nimbus decided to go on a quest for Dragon Testicles. However these events are debatable since some historians point out that Tifa was in a coma during this time.

After coming out of her coma, Tifa made friends with a spikey blonde haired kid and his stuffed tiger. However these two left to join the organization MOUNTIE. In the meantime Tifa paid the bills by working for Mr. T’s taxi driving service. However, Tifa’s life was turned upside down when MOUNTIE attacked her hometown of Nibblehienie and forced everyone in the town to wear Bullwinkle hats. During the event, Tifa’s father’s arms were pulled off. The silver haired video-game character badass responsible for this disaster was the former death metal rock star, Sephiroth - whose band Tifa ironically became a groupie of later.

After this catastrophe in Nibblehienie, Tifa decided to get a boob job as well as form a terrorist organization with Mr. T, Princess Lea, and the corpse of Padme. They named their terrorist group Mr. T & The Women.

After that a bunch of shit happened that involved lifestreams, guerrilla warfare, espionage, love, paying Sephiroth to murder Aeris, pain, ShEn-ron, giant chickens, children made into Christmas candles, Donald Duck, and crappy spin-offs. However these events are debatable since some historians point out that Squaresoft was on a huge-ass acid trip during this time.