Menu

Monthly Archives: January 2014

Day one of the New Year and I’m rehearsing the conversation I need to have. I’ve done my Google-ing and the best approach is, of course, civility and being clear about what I need. I can play my part but have doubts about the other side. I am expecting evasiveness and corporate canned responses. My tendency would be to let the blood in my ears to pound out my thoughts but this time, the internal monologue needs to be singular.

I’m going through phases. Some up, some down. Some angry, some calculating. And today, it’s a little bit self-berating. Because when I think of my career, logging the progress (or lack thereof) that I know I’ll have to recount when that CV has to be rewritten, I think about a distinct lack of forethought or aptitude for self-promotion and progression. Yes, I think about the moment but not the next steps after that. It’s almost academic in application; more about understanding rather than about getting ahead. And here’s where I feel bad. A couple of decades of programming… will it really change?

Too much time on my hands and I worry myself to sleep imagining how my encounter with HR would be like when I get back. Since I haven’t received a formal invitation through work email, I guess they’re still working through the details (or I’m imagining they are). The HR person has always been unreliable and my typical encounters have involved matters of redundancy. At this point, I’ve had one poor performer and two occasions when employees were no longer required. Surely I’m not the curse?

In any case, in my imaginings, I will somehow get this case to a lawyer and I will need evidence about shoddy treatment and just a general sense of not adhering to any sense of decency. The first proof that I’m seeking is how they decided on my US employee’s situation (something that I haven’t been told yet) and maybe then double-up with the person in London, too. I would sidle up to the HR person and request a discussion about the employees, all the while activating a voice recorder on my phone. Of course this would need some sense of nonchalance, like I’m multi-tasking while I activate the app and ensure everything is quiet.

I’m quite certain the HR person won’t say much, being evasive as usual. What would I do with this? I don’t know but at least I’d have a record of the discussion to relive at some later moment (knowing that blood would be coursing through my ears). Would this person stumble somehow? Maybe. At this point, i’m just looking for anything to get a sense of having the upper hand. And maybe this could be a start.

A lot has changed and there have been many moves that were not shared with me but did impact me. My two direct reports are no longer in my team and I heard the news not from people above but from the subordinates themselves. This is difficult in two ways: (1) that I wasn’t informed by senior people or even our own (useless) HR; and (2) that it likely points to my imminent departure from the business.

What irks me is the subterfuge taken to make these moves. If it was to happen, why couldn’t it be done from the top down or at least simultaneously? Can this place be any more badly managed?