I wrapped myself in a warm blanket, sipped on a can of sparkling water, and read a book that would change my life forever: “Strong Looks Better Naked,” by Khloé Kardashian. Khloé’s newly released self-help book follows her journey of shedding not only pounds, but also her label as “the fat Kardashian.” Okay, so it didn’t change my life forever, but I decided to let it change my life for one week. To review this book would be reviewing Khloé’s lifestyle, so simply reading it wasn’t going to be enough. For one week I decided to eat, exercise, and think like Khloé. In keeping with true Kardashian fashion, I decided to document my week with a series of duck face selfies.

Rules for the Week

Eating like Khloé

She loves food with texture, and has a weakness for pita chips and hummus. She even used to eat potato chips just to hear the crunch, but that was the old Khloé. New and improved Khloé stays away from dairy and doesn’t eat carbs after four, and she’s really into water that’s infused with chopped up fruit. Also, it’s very important to make sure all fruits and veggies are organic.

Exercising like Khloé:

She can’t sit still while watching TV, so that’s when she likes to get her cardio in. She is self-conscious about her arms, so she focuses on those, as well as her booty, which she wants to keep looking fierce. She also recently increased working out from three to five days a week.

Thinking like Khloé:

Be positive and patient! Rome wasn’t built in a day, so neither can the new you.

Monday

I started the day off with some eggs, but I usually do that anyway so it wasn’t much of a change. The eggs kept me full until lunch, which comprised of a granola bar, snow peas, and a sandwich with salami and mustard––the lack of cheese was very evident. Nothing was too hard to handle until I got home at 3:30. I was hungry, but decided to hop on the exercise bike to get some cardio in, just like Khloé would. Sadly, I got off the bike after 4:00, which meant no more carbs for me, and I was ravenous. I inhaled my second helping of snow peas for the day which barely held me off until dinner: pork chops. Day one as Khloé came to a close, and I was ready for more.

Tuesday

I have been peeing every forty minutes. Even though I usually try to stay hydrated, I figured that since Khloe drinks a lot of water, that I must take my chopped-up-fruit-water consumption to an entirely new level. started the day with eggs again, and then I had bratwurst, snow peas, and granola for lunch. I am feeling pretty good, but I’m started to get bored of the food. I had a chef salad for dinner and had to pick out every piece of cheese individually, which was a huge pain. I had speedskating practice, which is already a major lower body workout, but I made sure to spend some extra time focusing on sculpting my booty. I’m a little tired of the routine already, and I’ve been lacking energy, but I’m feeling very healthy.

Wednesday

I am so tired. I don’t know if it’s the lack of dairy, or the no-carbs-after-four, but I fell asleep in almost every class today. I woke up late and was too lazy to make eggs, so I had sausage for breakfast. Lunch was a ham sandwich, cucumber, and pumpkin seeds; it kept me fairly full but was pretty bland. Dinner was a pot roast and assorted crock-pot vegetables (organic of course). I tried to tone my arms with some with some bicep curls and pushups. The saving grace of the day was a lactose and relatively carb free ice cream I found at the grocery store. After all, a pint a day keeps the sorrows away. I’m feeling pretty good, I’d describe how I feel as the opposite of bloated. Wait, is that a thing?

Thursday

I’m hiding because I cheated. The day was going great, no dairy, mainly healthy choices–all until dinner. I was hanging out with friends and they just needed to go to the Malt Shop. I stood my ground and chose the Butternut Squash soup over a burger, but couldn’t resist the Chocolate Chunk Pecan Cookie Dough Malt. But in all honesty, Khloé said she treats herself sometimes, so it’s justified, right?

Friday

Today was easily my worst day. I took a day trip to Duluth with some friends and couldn’t really monitor what I ate. I started the day with an Eggnog Latte from Starbucks, then had some Haribo gummies, then pizza for lunch and polished it all off with McDonalds for dinner. I did however notice that I didn’t eat as much to feel full, and didn’t crave as many sweet treats. Also, don’t hate on the sock monkey hat, my aunt knit it for me ages ago.

Saturday

Back home, I recommitted myself to Khloé’s rules. I had speedskating races this morning, and to be honest it wasn’t my best showing. I felt tired and didn’t have a lot of energy, but that was probably more related to the fact I stayed up until midnight the evening before, and not the fault of Khloé’s lifestyle. I had a nice dinner that comprised of salmon and salad, which made me feel really healthy, and I’m a fan of fish so I loved it.

Sunday

Everything’s a lie. Feeling the need to finish the week strong, I started the morning with eggs, enjoyed some cardio outside, and had some chicken breast and veggies for lunch. I then tuned in for the season premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and what I saw mortified me. Khloé, eating pita chips and hummus, all while her book claims she gave up her nasty habits months ago. To make it even better, this came literally right after Khloé finished her first photo shoot with her new body. Granted, she did say we’re all allowed to indulge, but all those chips looks like a lot of indulging. Also, don’t judge me because I’m wearing the same shirt as yesterday, it’s the weekend.

Final Thoughts

For what it’s worth, I feel really clean and healthy from this week. I’ll reintroduce cheese into my diet (because it’s divine), but I’ll definitely try to keep some of her suggestions in the long run. All in all, much like Khloé’s book, her lifestyle got boring after the first twenty minutes. It’s my opinion that Khloé (and all the Kardashians) should stick to what they’re good at–– reality TV and pissing people off.

Statnews.com: A highly scientific review of Khloe Kardashian’s new health book

hloe Kardashian’s new lifestyle book, “Strong Looks Better Naked,” is a gold mine of health and fitness advice — and, of course, lots of pictures of the reality star. STAT took a hard look at the science behind the Kardashian health tips and found, perhaps surprisingly, that many were right on point. But not all. Here’s your exclusive guide to the science behind Kardashian health mantras:

Tip 1: Add some (live) weight to your workout

When Aunt Khloe takes care of her sisters’ kids, she does squats while holding them. Wasn’t that difficult, you ask? Khloe’s response: “LOL! That was hard!”

What the science says: Holding a small child (or a modest weight) while doing a shallow squat isn’t as effective at building strength as holding less weight and doing a deeper squat, according to 2013 research published in the Journal of Strength Conditioning & Research.

Tip 2: Don’t drink Coke with every meal

Khloe shares an anecdote in her book of a friend who absolutely has to have a Coke with every meal. “It shows on her body, so clearly she’s addicted to the sugar,” Khloe says. Once you get past the fact that she’s totally sold out her friend, take heart in knowing that Khloe cites the World Health Organization’s recommendation that people cut their sugar intake by at least 50 percent to back up her concern.

What the science says: There is a big pile of evidence pointing to the harms of consuming too much added sugar, like the kind that’s used to sweeten everything from soda to sauces to yogurt. Consuming hefty amounts of added sugars has been tied to weight gain, fat gain, and higher prevalence of type 2 diabetes. And, chances are, Khloe’s friend is popping open cans of Coke at home, not just ordering them at restaurants — the CDC says people consume about two-thirds of their added sugar every day at home. So on this one, she’s absolutely right.

Tip 3: Cut out the cheese cubes

According to Khloe, getting rid of cheese in her diet — as her nutritionist recommended — helped her feel so energized she literally jumped out of bed every morning. When she stopped popping cheese cubes for snacks, she says, she also dropped 13 pounds in three months.

What the science says: There isn’t scientific evidence to say that nixing cheese specifically from your daily diet changes your energy levels, but there is anecdotal evidence to show cutting foods like cheese or red meat from a diet can boost energy levels in some people. The National Institutes of Health says you should only be eating 1.5 ounces of a cheese a day — which is about three cheese cubes — so Khloe’s advice lines up with those guidelines.

Tip 4: Fad diets don’t work

Khloe once went on a weeklong diet that caused her to drop 2 percent of her body fat in just five days. She calls it “one of the most miserable experiences of my life, absolutely horrible.” The lemonade-and-paprika fast made her moody and exceedingly hungry, and in the end, Khloe decided short-term diets just weren’t for her. Now, she practices mindful (dairy-free) eating.

What the science says: Science is on Khloe’s side with this one, too: Fad diets really don’t work when it comes to losing weight. A long-term study published in 2014 looked at four popular fad diets — Atkins, Zone, Weight Watchers, and South Beach — and found that they didn’t lead to any sort of significant, sustained weight loss.

Tip 5: Water is really, really important

Khloe loves water. “Water is magical,” she says. “It’s all about water. Flush, flush, flush.” She keeps at least five different kinds of infused water in her fridge at any given time. She touts its benefits, noting that water is good for your hair, skin, and nails, helps you lose weight, gives your muscles sustenance, and boosts your bodily functions.

What the science says: If you hit the gym every day like like Khloe, failing to drink enough fluids could restrict your ability to build strength and do high-intensity endurance workouts, according to a review of scientific literature inSports Medicine. But the idea that you have to chug eight glasses of water a day is a total myth — your daily fluid intake is usually met by the food and drinks you typically take in every day.

Tip 6: Your body type is like a car

The Kardashian clan seeks medical advice from nutritionist Philip Goglia, who does blood panels on clients and breaks down the results in terms of cars. Kim Kardashian and her husband, Kanye West, have both been deemed Ferrari body types. But that doesn’t mean they get off scot-free: “Even if you have a Ferrari body type, the more you know about your engine, the better you can tune it,” Khloe writes. For reference, my body type is a ’97 Chrysler that’s mostly OK but kind of sputters a little when it moves too fast. As Khloe puts it, “Life is so unfair!”

What the science says: Surprisingly, science says very little about body types as cars.

Tip 7: If you have a friend, work out with that friend

As Khloe Kardashian once wrote, “As John Donne wrote, ‘No man is an island, entire of itself.’”

While I was reading Khloé Kardashian’s book Strong Looks Better Naked in a Brooklyn café, the person sitting across from me gingerly asked, “What genre is that?” I had no answer.

Before I opened the interestingly titled Strong Looks Better Naked, I had some vague expectations of vapid, salacious anecdotes and recycled yet humorous enlightenment. Khloé is, after all, the wittiest and most self-aware member of a family whose only job is to be gratingly open to the world. I assumed she’d be good for a few laughs, even if none of the Kardashians have much to reveal in a book that hasn’t already been excavated to death by themselves, tabloids, or their numerous reality shows and interviews. Self-help books are supposed to be all about revelations. But wait, is this a self-help book? A memoir? How-to? First question: What exactly is this?

What does Strong Looks Better Naked even mean?

In one chapter, Khloé writes about hitting the gym again after letting herself go in the Hamptons, amid marital issues with her still-husband Lamar Odom. On the next page is a gigantic inspirational quote from Colin Powell. In the next section are recipes (i.e. Koko’s Kale), and peppered throughout are selfies, journal-like musings and semi-advice.

It’s a How To. It’s a photo book. It’s an autobiography. It’s a series of Instagram affirmations mixed with memories. It’s boring to death. It’s all those things and absolutely nothing, and people are going to buy it, because nothing is all anyone would expect.

The book’s format is broken into three sections—Body (which includes fitness and food), Mind and Soul. Extremely important things.

The first half is primarily a diary of Khloé’s workout routine, written in the tone of that person who speaks with a dull chirpiness about what they do before the gym, at the gym and after the gym, with corresponding photos of her workouts plucked from her Instagram page. Body part by body part, Khloé runs down her full workout routine, with specific focus on the ass. Working out, she says, was always more of a coping mechanism than for sheer vanity.

“I would get there early and start out with some stretching exercises, and then do thirty minutes on the elliptical…” she writes. (Imagine me happily frolicking down the middle of a railroad track as a train approaches.) The paragraph ends: “…ready to seize the day.”

In this deeply unsuccessful attempt at writing self-help, Khloé shares suggestions and to-do lists on how to deal with body issues and working out (i.e. not looking at that scale), mostly by breaking down methods that worked for her. Throughout, she hast he mind-numbing, obvious approach of a fitness magazine. I suppose a Kardashian enthusiast (the book’s target audience) might appreciate these faux lessons and mantras. Literally no one else would.

Khloé makes the keen observation, for example, that bad food tastes good and encourages making “intelligent sacrifices” for your health. She opens up about her arm and jawline insecurity, her experiences with yo-yo dieting and trying the Master Cleanse. She reveals that, as a kid, she wasn’t aware she was “bigger” than the other kids and, as a result, embraced her natural charisma.

Beneath the fitness fanaticism, there’s potential for depth that’s only mildly explored, creating a watered-down version of the Khloé we know. But there’s no use being upset about the cavern of emptiness in a Kardashian book. It is what it is.

In place of the blunt testimonies she’s known for, Khloé offers her version of tips, which are really just empty platitudes:

Remember the only person you need to be better than is the you of yesterday.

Khloé writes a lot about finding solace at the gym as a way to stave off loneliness, and about developing social anxiety over the thought of leaving her home to face paps (she claims she’s more closed off about her personal life, especially relationships, than her family members, which is probably true). Describing a visit to a couple’s therapist during her marriage to Lamar, she recalls this exchange with her therapist:

“It takes a big person to revisit tough moments without reliving the emotion. How do you manage it?”

And I said, “Cardio!”

Real inner turmoil is rarely mined in a meaty way and reads as surface expressions that any Kardashian viewer already knows. In over-preaching the positive, there’s a net loss of honesty and facts. Not to mention: a book that’s largely about fitness needs a heavy dose of research.

To make up for the poppycock non-advice are sections written by Khloé’s celebrity trainer Gunnar Peterson (Body), her nutritionist Dr. Philip Goglia (Mind) and her pastor Brad Johnson (Soul). Khloé recalls bringing a photo of Beyoncé into a workout session and being told by Peterson: “There are certain anatomical differences between you and Beyoncé, so we’re not going to create an exact duplicate. Still, I promise we will get as close as we can.”

What follows is a list of things that Khloé loves:

Squats

Lunges

Planks

Weight machines

Sweating

Swimming

Green tea, water

Pita chips and hummus

Sushi

Food with texture

Water

You can tell that she loves these things because she writes “I love” followed by the thing she loves, sometimes followed by what she loves about it.

There’s a part where Khloé breaks down the differences in body types among her family. After consulting her nutritionist, she realized that eating carbs after 4 p.m. was ill-advised—she says her brother Rob has the same body type and that Kim and Kanye are “Ferrari body types,” with high metabolisms. Why not more of this insight that’s drawn from actual experts and resources?

Health and fitness tips, in general, are so distilled and vague that fresh, helpful advice is rare. Instead of potentially making something like Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance—which benefits greatly from studies, field research and real-person surveys and sounds informed as a result—Khloé took a poorly advised shortcut to the self-help aisle. It’s not at all surprising. The true disappointment is that it’s not even entertaining

Refinery29.com:The Most & Least Surprising Parts Of Khloé Kardashian’s New Book

Seeing as they’re pretty much everywhere, all the time, it’s hard to believe there’s anything we don’t know about the Kardashians. But Khloé, for one, has a lot more to say — and she does just that in her new book, Strong Looks Better Naked.

The book is part memoir, part self-help, and part diet-and-exercise guide. And all of it isvery Khloé — from doling out gym wisdom and sharing veggie recipes, to recalling how she dealt with her father’s death and meeting Caitlyn (not well). She speaks in a voice that, if not hers alone, is at least well-edited to come off that way: self-deprecating, candid, sincere, and vulnerable.

While it’s playful and funny in parts, the volume offers a look into the serious side of the most private Kardashian sister, one that we don’t often see. So, we rounded up 10 tidbits from the book, some more revelatory than others.

1. The Kardashians love drama. Wait, what?!
“[N]ow I realize that I actually thrive on chaos. I think all of the Kardashians do. We like drama because it’s like a shot of adrenaline. We like problems because suddenly we have another opportunity to find a smart solution.”

2.Khloé tried Beyoncé’s infamous master cleanse, and it didn’t go so well. Because Khloé is a real human.
“The craziest thing is that I was convinced the cleanse was going to work. It was Beyoncé, for god’s sake! My hero!… But I was miserable… I felt like shit, and I had turned into a raging bitch. Long story short, I didn’t make it through day 3.”

3. The paparazzi attacks on her marriage made Khloé afraid to leave her house. After she and Lamar moved back to Los Angeles in 2012, it became too much.
“Every time I left my house, the paparazzi followed…snapping pictures and shouting questions — ‘Is it true Lamar cheated on you?’ ‘Is he doing drugs?’ ‘Are you guys splitting up?’ — and it was both painful and mortifying… I didn’t need to hear that negative bullshit. Every day felt like an attack. It was also humiliating; it got to the point that leaving my house would give me social anxiety.”

4. Kim and Kanye have “Ferrari bodies.“ Khloé convinced the couple to go see nutritionist Dr. Philip Goglia, who helped her turn her diet around with his body-type analysis.
“I was so taken with Phil that I told Kim and Kanye to go see him. They did that whole blood panel, too, and — wouldn’t you know it? — Kim and Kanye are what he called Ferrari body types. Those two can process just about anything. Can you believe that? Life is so unfair!”

5. Khloé’s body transformation wasn’t about her body at all. It started as an escape from the press and therapy for her mind.
“The gym was a genuine oasis — a refuge and a sanctuary… My workouts were not about vanity; they were about relieving stress. I had so much going on emotionally, and I was disinclined to talk about it, even with my own family, so the workouts became a form of therapy.”

6. Her marriage to Lamar helped her get away from the Kardashian name. And their separation shook her self-identity.
“When I got married, I was no longer simply one of the Kardashians; I had my own life and a separate identity. I had broken free… But with Lamar gone, it was as if I had taken a giant backward step. I was back to being Khloé, but a somewhat more ‘damaged’ version.”

7. She’s stopped babying Rob — but she’s not kicking him out any time soon.
“Rob still lives with me, and maybe I’m weak, but I’m not going to put my brother out on the street on the off chance that he will make an effort to change is life… But beyond [being his biggest cheerleader], there’s not much I can do. He will make changes in his life when he is able to motivate himself.”

8. She knows exactly how she came off during the 20/20 special on Caitlyn. And she’s not apologizing for it.
“After we filmed it, I knew that people were never going to understand my reaction. I was still upset and angry. I had not had time to process the news. And even before I saw the footage, I knew I was going to come across as hostile and unpleasant…but [the pain and anger] was real; it was what I felt. It was my truth without the benefit of distance; it was truth unedited.”

9. She came close to going to rehab. While she was grieving over her dad’s death, Khloé’s partying spiraled out of control. But Kourtney put her in charge of their brand-new Dash store and forced her to get it together.
“[S]he took it upon herself to turn me around… I didn’t ened up in rehab or anything, because Kourtney put her foot down and forced me to take control of my life, but I probably came close.”

10. The media actually made Khloé question her reality. Years of relentless pregnancy rumors began to crowd out the truth, and it got scary. This is just crazy.
“During my marriage, according to the media, I was pregnant at least eight times. At one point, my own publicist called to ask me if the rumors were true… But suddenly I begn to wonder, and I was filled with self-doubt. I went to CVS to get a pregnancy kit just to be sure I wasn’t pregnant…of course the results were negative, but the fact that I had been driven to that extreme was frightening.”

Seeing as they’re pretty much everywhere, all the time, it’s hard to believe there’s anything we don’t know about the Kardashians. But Khloé, for one, has a lot more to say — and she does just that in her new book, Strong Looks Better Naked.

The book is part memoir, part self-help, and part diet-and-exercise guide. And all of it isvery Khloé — from doling out gym wisdom and sharing veggie recipes, to recalling how she dealt with her father’s death and meeting Caitlyn (not well). She speaks in a voice that, if not hers alone, is at least well-edited to come off that way: self-deprecating, candid, sincere, and vulnerable.

While it’s playful and funny in parts, the volume offers a look into the serious side of the most private Kardashian sister, one that we don’t often see. So, we rounded up 10 tidbits from the book, some more revelatory than others.

1. The Kardashians love drama. Wait, what?!
“[N]ow I realize that I actually thrive on chaos. I think all of the Kardashians do. We like drama because it’s like a shot of adrenaline. We like problems because suddenly we have another opportunity to find a smart solution.”

2.Khloé tried Beyoncé’s infamous master cleanse, and it didn’t go so well. Because Khloé is a real human.
“The craziest thing is that I was convinced the cleanse was going to work. It was Beyoncé, for god’s sake! My hero!… But I was miserable… I felt like shit, and I had turned into a raging bitch. Long story short, I didn’t make it through day 3.”

3. The paparazzi attacks on her marriage made Khloé afraid to leave her house. After she and Lamar moved back to Los Angeles in 2012, it became too much.
“Every time I left my house, the paparazzi followed…snapping pictures and shouting questions — ‘Is it true Lamar cheated on you?’ ‘Is he doing drugs?’ ‘Are you guys splitting up?’ — and it was both painful and mortifying… I didn’t need to hear that negative bullshit. Every day felt like an attack. It was also humiliating; it got to the point that leaving my house would give me social anxiety.”

4. Kim and Kanye have “Ferrari bodies.“ Khloé convinced the couple to go see nutritionist Dr. Philip Goglia, who helped her turn her diet around with his body-type analysis.
“I was so taken with Phil that I told Kim and Kanye to go see him. They did that whole blood panel, too, and — wouldn’t you know it? — Kim and Kanye are what he called Ferrari body types. Those two can process just about anything. Can you believe that? Life is so unfair!”

5. Khloé’s body transformation wasn’t about her body at all. It started as an escape from the press and therapy for her mind.
“The gym was a genuine oasis — a refuge and a sanctuary… My workouts were not about vanity; they were about relieving stress. I had so much going on emotionally, and I was disinclined to talk about it, even with my own family, so the workouts became a form of therapy.”

6. Her marriage to Lamar helped her get away from the Kardashian name. And their separation shook her self-identity.
“When I got married, I was no longer simply one of the Kardashians; I had my own life and a separate identity. I had broken free… But with Lamar gone, it was as if I had taken a giant backward step. I was back to being Khloé, but a somewhat more ‘damaged’ version.”

7. She’s stopped babying Rob — but she’s not kicking him out any time soon.
“Rob still lives with me, and maybe I’m weak, but I’m not going to put my brother out on the street on the off chance that he will make an effort to change is life… But beyond [being his biggest cheerleader], there’s not much I can do. He will make changes in his life when he is able to motivate himself.”

8. She knows exactly how she came off during the 20/20 special on Caitlyn. And she’s not apologizing for it.
“After we filmed it, I knew that people were never going to understand my reaction. I was still upset and angry. I had not had time to process the news. And even before I saw the footage, I knew I was going to come across as hostile and unpleasant…but [the pain and anger] was real; it was what I felt. It was my truth without the benefit of distance; it was truth unedited.”

9. She came close to going to rehab. While she was grieving over her dad’s death, Khloé’s partying spiraled out of control. But Kourtney put her in charge of their brand-new Dash store and forced her to get it together.
“[S]he took it upon herself to turn me around… I didn’t ened up in rehab or anything, because Kourtney put her foot down and forced me to take control of my life, but I probably came close.”

10. The media actually made Khloé question her reality. Years of relentless pregnancy rumors began to crowd out the truth, and it got scary. This is just crazy.
“During my marriage, according to the media, I was pregnant at least eight times. At one point, my own publicist called to ask me if the rumors were true… But suddenly I begn to wonder, and I was filled with self-doubt. I went to CVS to get a pregnancy kit just to be sure I wasn’t pregnant…of course the results were negative, but the fact that I had been driven to that extreme was frightening.”

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The Khloé Kardashian Official App gives Khloé's audience unprecedented and exclusive personal access to her life. Through the app, Khloé shares original and curated content, interactive experiences, live streaming, access to offline events, tutorials, fitness videos and much more. Khloé is giving her fans more access, content and experiences here, than she has ever offered before

Khloe Kardashian has teamed up with DIFF Eyewear for an exclusive eyewear collection. The Koko line includes four aviator-style frames with lenses in pink, yellow, blue and gray. With every purchase, DIFF Eyewear will donate a pair of reading glasses to someone in need.

Khloé Kardashian will exec produce new, original series Twisted Sisters for Investigation Discovery, six episodes of true-crime described by ID as a look “inside the most outrageous and provocative crimes ever committed by the unlikeliest of pairs – sisters.”

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