October 2013 – The Purple Purse 01074

Each October, hundreds of Organizations around the country start their campaign to bring awareness to the issue of Domestic Violence. Yesterday I stopped in the the office of the YWCA of Palm Beach County to pick up my Purple Purse. The #PurplePurse campaign in cooperation with the AllState Foundation has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the YWCA across the country. I took the opportunity of having the Purple Purse and it being the beginning of the month to structure a speech around the Purple Purse, the campaign, the issue of Domestic Violence and some statistics surrounds it at my #Toastmasters group today.

It was the perfect topic for me to work on Project #9 in the Competent Communicator Manual. The goal of the speech is to “Persuade With Power.” I began my Speech with numbers 145…12,700,000…74%…40%…$5.8B

What do those numbers mean?

145 – In the hour that my Toastmasters Group met, 145 calls were made to police for domestic violence related incidents in the USA. That is actual calls, not including the number of incidents which go unreported and which could be double or triple.

12.7Million – The number of people who are physically abused, raped or assaulted each year.

74% – 74% of Americans know someone who is being or has been abused, raped or assaulted

40% – 40% of girls ages 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner.

$$5.8 Billion is spent each year on health related costs of domestic violence.

And there’s more, you can learn by visiting www.purplepurse.com and while you’re there, enter Purse Code 01074. Each time you enter the code, AllState Foundation will donate $5 to the YWCA. If you have a local YWCA, contact them and ask if they’re involved in the Purple Purse Campaign and find a purse code to support your local YWCA.

Unfortunately, I have been in more than one abusive relationship. You may read more about them here:

I think the only thing that got me through them was the knowledge that I wasn’t at fault. No one makes another person hit them or treat them poorly and despite the abusers repeated attempts at passing blame onto the other person it is completely on them, they just don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.

Abuse isn’t limited to physical abuse by the way. There’s a range of different types of abuse and it doesn’t know any boundaries. It crosses all walks of life, all lifestyles, all ages, all social and financial statuses, there’s no line that abuse doesn’t cross. There’s financial abuse, emotional, mental and verbal abuse as well. The difference with physical abuse and the others is that the words, the memories, well…they never go away. Bruises fade, cuts heal, bones mend, but while the memories might fade over time and eventually aren’t so prevalent in the forefront of your mind, they’re still there. Sometimes it takes one thing, one television show, one instance and suddenly you’re brought right back into that moment.

How do you know someone is in a DV situation. There are signs, but you have to look past the outside. Fear, Anxiety, Abuse, Mistrust, Negativity. Low Self-Esteem, Lies, Conflict, Neglect, Violence, Tension, Terror, Hurt, Pain, Controlling, Anger, Hate, Jealousy, Deception, Envy, Manipulation, Loneliness, Yelling, Pressure, Tension and that’s just the beginning of the list.

How do you talk to someone that you think might be in a bad situation? Tell them you’re concerned about them, tell them you care, tell them that you are there for them no matter what they need and mean it. Don’t just say it, you have to mean it. If you tell someone who is in an abusive relationship that you will be there to help them, you have to be there, they can’t be empty words. If a woman opens up enough to you and trusts you, don’t break that trust no matter what. It will make it that much harder for her to trust the next person.