Do you believe in Gender Neutral Parenting?

Gender Neutral Parenting ?

[The days have changed so much, you know, I love pink shirts for my son! And I’m so happy that Gender neutrality is seeking attention in India. Mumma! As we turned to see, her 5year old boy fell from the bicycle and hurt himself, crying vociferously. We all rushed to pamper him. “You are a strong boy, my child, it will all be fine in few minutes..Sob..sob! Why are you crying like a girl? See everyone is looking at you.” That child looks around feeling ashamed and hugs his mom!]

Silence, a deep silence struck me. It was the end of a discussion which started with so much positivity. Does it really makes you a “gender neutral parent” if you make your boy wear pink shirts? It’s a funny stance, rather why to boast of this neutrality, when it is far off from your thoughts? Gender Neutral Parenting is all about thoughts which ultimately reflect in your actions and it is not just about the external set up.

I immediately wanted to ask her as she was also a young girl few years before. Was she ashamed if tears dropped off her eyes? Did she today felt sheepish of showing her emotions back then? Why can’t a boy cry and show his emotions? Both the gender have all the emotions, why are we tuned to suppress it for boys?

Handling consistent crying is all together a different matter and it can be for both girls and boys. But somehow, I shunned myself from speaking to her then. It’ll certainly so that sometime soon, over a cup of coffee!

Are you happy if your boy plays with dolls, kitchen sets & role plays, and your daughter plays with Robots and cars?

Have you stereotyped the games which your kids should play or are you open to their any choices?

Pink for boys? Do you feel it is only for girls who look cute in pink frocks?

Are you open to Kitchen learnings for boys?

Are you open to thoughts of your boys mopping the house floor to support you?

How do you react when your daughter says that she wants to be a football champion?

Did your daughter ever said that she is a Spiderman? if yes, what was your reaction?

Are you indulging in Gender-free teachings?

It’s time that we break this cliché and give an equal opportunity to our boys and girls. Its upto you to follow the extreme or Liberal Gender Neutral Parenting method, though I prefer to opt liberal approach. Let us allow them an equal opportunity to show emotions, to dress-up, to play, dream and show their skills. Some parents opt for extreme approach and they raise their child “genderless” and do not reveal the gender of their child. To me, I feel that liberal is a better approach and that’s what I try to follow.

Watch out this video as a part of BBC stories pertaining to “Can Our Kids Go Gender Free?”

Promoting Gender Neutral parenting :

Being said that preferring liberal approach means, promoting all activities in a gender neutral ways.

No Blue is for boys and pink is for girls. Go for the colour you and your child love, be it pink for boys. This change needs to start right from the birth in hospitals, by keeping gender neutral baby clothing and decor.

Opt for Gender neutral baby / child room decor and nursery.

Let there be all sorts of toys in the closet, ranging from Dolls to cars to spiderman and robots. Allow kids to play with their likings.

Pause! Stop the discussions around “Girls will be girls and boys will be boys”. Let them mix up, learn to respect each other’s views and create their own imaginations and likings.

Let boys read fairytales, those are beautiful imaginative stories. They should grow respecting and appreciating these stories as well.

Quit those books which stereotype men and women with a specific task and encourage a blended atmosphere.

Practise Gender equality at home, let the better half cook some delicious beans for the day♥

Benefits of Gender Neutral Parenting for Kids :

There are biological and psychological differences between men and women, and we will have to always accept that. But let us not create an environment, where kids feel restricted towards their choices, just because of their “gender”. Let’s not push them towards any extreme, as these kids will always be limited and confused in their choices. Don’t we many a times feel that men don’t feel our emotions? This is because of gender biased parenting all around at home and in our society.

Kids who are raised in gender neutral environment have access to many more opportunities, have better imaginative powers, and are at lower risk on mental health issues during adolescence.

Let’s open up the doors and allow the fresh air to enter in. Is it going to be your cupcake?

Share your thoughts about Gender Neutral parenting right below in the comments section. What steps are you taking to ensure a neutral environment at home and in society?

Till then,

Happy exploration!

Jhilmil

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Jhilmil

Quest to live the life surrounded with the charming little bundle's of joy. When they speak, I sing, When they smile, I rejoice , When they hug, I hold them never to lose, Such is my passion for these Gifts of God.

This love urged me to navigate separately from my Travel Blog & establish an "All-In-One" Blog for budding mothers. Mum's have multi-tasked this world ,with all her professional commitments , she still makes an extra effort to be a loving, caring and be an intellectual mommy! Cheers, for me too come from the same fraternity, post having a superb academics & close to 8 years of professional experience and blessed with a little one "who has indeed changed my life from Autumn to Spring";)

20 Comments

Good thought provoking article. you have picked up a very important topic. It is important to treat kids like kids and not like boys and girls. We as human being have all the emotion and it really doesn’t matter whether you are a boy or a girl.

I hope many people understand this and start implementing it too instead of just differentiating between both the genders. I also think that it completely depends on parents as to how the kids are raised makes a huge difference.

I really loved this one. I strongly believe in neutralization. Just offering a pink tee to a boy or truck to girl is not base of gender neutral parenting. It is more of an attitude. Remember that “Run like a girl” social experiment. Once we suppress boys to express emotions then cautiously boys stop showing their feelings and with time we get that angry-young man. They don’t talk about emotions or can’t convey their point emotionally. Hope more parents read this and understand the crux of concept.

So true Pragnya, that’s why I was in a fix when I witnessed tat conversation, which forced me to write up this post. It is we who supress our boys emotions and then carry over that angry young man image who don’t understand our feelings. Thanks Pragnya:)

Jhilmil, this is a wonderful post. I don’t exercise gender specifics while raising kids. Once my son said, this colour is for girls. I told him, there is nothing like that. We should not differentiate between a boy or a girl. Its a choice and should not be gender specific.

I do believe in raising kids like kids but going gender Nuetral in a country like Indi where we are still struggling with basic issues like women rights and right to education, it is unrealistic. We have a long way to go before we can even bat for gender nuetrality.

I do support you on this. Well when i take my daughter to kitchen at the same time my son do accompany us. both should learn all household work . I think as a parents we should first stop discrimination then we should teach other,s

Such a relevant post, Jhilmil. I have a son and a daughter and try consciously to keep my parenting gender neutral. A child should never be made or stopped from doing something because of his/her gender. Age and inclination matter.

Now this is a sensitive topic to write on. We must constantly and consciously try to bring on gender neutrality in the society. I think it needs a conscious effort because the sudden change of ways demands all our attention, and not casual approach.

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About Me

Jhilmil Bhansali

Hey, Welcome! I’m Jhilmil, and my sweet little blog is all about Cherishing Parenthood, Raising munchkins, Wellness and Healthy Lifestyle and yes, It will be a strong voice for “Womanhood”. Living in the country of Diversity India.