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4rm Cutie Shruti

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Each Day is a lesson. I enjoy reading, dancing, writing, trips around the celluloid world, and living life queen size, but on my terms !! For the rest read up to catch up ;) My blogs are open to your perusal & critique. My thoughts, heart felt poems and stories to enthrall you ...

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Hmmm. Yup! I've been gone a long time but now I'm back ... I think ! Sorry for being away from Bloggerville for so long. I was just out of sorts in ways. Was I missed ? :D

Well, it's my birthday today. Yup folks ! It was 3 decades ago ( almost ;) ) that I stumbled into this world crying and screaming. :) Yeah yeah, not much has changed you'll say :p Have made a few friends ( I believe ) around here so would love to share the gist of my celebrations with you. Joy shared is after all joy doubled ! And God knows I have halved many a sorrows out here so why not !!

Thursday I was shocked to receive an IPOD TOUCH by Fed Ex, thanks to my generous husband. If that were not enough, on Friday a friend drove all the way from Jersey to Virginia to celebrate with us over the weekend. Another couple joined us and we had an over night party which spilled onto Saturday with a trip to VA Beach with sea food, walks along the beach side and cycling. Sunday was reserved for Brunch and kayaking ( which I tried for the first time and LOVED ) which culminated with loving calls wishing me at 12 sharp from the family. The D day that is today saw me decked up, doing somet light shopping/lunch with a friend and her cutie boy which was followed by some alone time at home with more calls wishing me and a long chat with Mommy dearest. Evening was spent having a cozy, lazy 2 hour dinner with hubby which included lots of laughs and experimenting ...

I owe Most of my happiness to my hubby sweetest but what I'm feeling right now is an exhilaration at being loved - by all those whose lives have touched mine. I am truly Blessed !!

I'd like to thank all those Here too who touch my life in more ways than one with their words and even those who follow me silently for their support is truly inspiring !!

A special shout out to those with whom I've truly connected in the Real sense - Dreamy, Tasneem, Shruti, Archana, Stillness, Hemanth, Nups, Kunjal, Ankit, Baljinder, Yojita, Aparna, Ani, Keshi, Sagar, Arun, Kokonad, , Satan's Darling, Asha, Appy, Priyanka, Anks, Christopher ... and the Blogerrati Community on Orkut !!! If I've missed out any names, I sincerely apologize in advance but you see Old age has it's side effects ;) :))

7 days no post and I feel like it's been an eternity. I'm so sorry haven't been around but honestly, just not been up for it ...

I still don't have much to say except what's in my heart and right now my heart is fuming mad !!!!

I cannot believe how people can be so self absorbed. It's ludicrous to imagine that in today's world people can think of nothing and no one but themselves. Oh please !! Don't give me the rant about expectations and such coz I've heard it all !! Expecting common courtesy and basic thoughtfulness is NOT too much to expect ...

What am I mad about one may ask ? Well, I'm pissed off at my friend who I supported through all of their achievements for years together and today when I expect some back, all I get is a thoughtless comment about my weight which was not even relevant !

I'm aghast at the nerve of the person I was supposed to be working with on a project. Going behind my back and talking to everyone under the sun and trying to manipulated the situations to meet their personal gains is Just NOT done !!

I'm amused by the comment of a friend who thinks it's silly to figure out what's wrong with a given predicament. I'm expected to sit back and enjoy the gossip !!

I'm appalled that in today's world people think nothing of asking for lavish parties and gifts but when their time comes, they find a cheap way out or a convenient excuse. Whatever happened to being happy for a friend ??

I'm surprised that people think nothing of inviting their friends to a third person's house without talking to the said person before hand.

I wonder why it is that politics is played in Every field of life. Everyone wants what they want and it doesn't matter who else is in the way for they all will be pushed aside. In the end the one who suffers is the one who never cared in the first place ...

Hey All!!! I request anyone and everyone who is sick or feels a sore throat to have themselves tested. And please read up on all information regarding the Flu. It's a sickness that can be cured when caught on time, not a reason for social ostracism. Kindly educate yourself and those around you. Take precautions and prevent the spread !!!

The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of seasonal flu in humans and may include:

First and most important: wash your hands. Try to stay in good general health. Get plenty of sleep, be physically active, manage your stress, drink plenty of fluids, and eat nutritious food. Try not touch surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

*Avoid live animal markets, poultry and pig farms in affected countries.*Always maintain high levels of personal hygiene, especially before and after food preparation and in-out of toilets.*Regular wash your hands.*Cook pork thoroughly.*While in an affected region, seek immediate medical attention if you develop influenza-like symptoms. (High Fever, body pain,coughing and red nose).*Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.*Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.*Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.*Try to avoid close contact with sick people.*Stay home when you are sick. If possible, stay home from work, school, and errands.

Fast breathing or trouble breathingBluish skin colorNot drinking enough fluidsNot waking up or not interactingBeing so irritable that the child does not want to be heldFlu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse coughFever with a rash

Love Stories - Aren't they fun ?! I for one, am a sucker for a bad ass love story. Be it complete, incomplete, meant to be, or all wrong. The best part about them is that they can be found in plenty. Like sand in a desert! In movies, books and people. Every one has one - a story of love, loss, lessons learned or fulfillment. Some shine in the glow of rapt audiences while others' are hidden in the recesses of days gone by.

They come in all shapes and sizes. Sweet and sour or from the old days. Of crushes or those special or not so special people. It's like a web where sometimes, one is connected to another, but some of the links are broken coz they don't suit the final design. We all bumble along the pathways in the dense forests of love, in search of the one flower that grew to all it's glory just for us !

What I find specially endearing is the look on the faces of people as they relate their personal journey or a monumental incident. A smile, a giggle, a bashful look, a far away stare, a sparkle in the eyes, nervous fingers, all signs that the words being spoken come from the heart. It's like a hidden treasure is being re discovered and each antique is polished and put up for display with pride, even the not so pretty ones. For each milestone is cherished, a memory locked away that springs up at the most unexpected of places displaying vividly the difference between the past and the present.

It's hard to forget those sparkling gems. The electricity in the first glance. That mushy feeling. Those moments of apprehension. That first kiss. A few special conversations. Those caring ways. The love and support. The warmth in the voice. That velvet touch. Those actions / quotes that are unique. Tears of remorse, regret or anger. The lessons that come from getting to know each other. The pain of the heart breaking into a million pieces and then the walk down the path that helps them piece them altogether.

Even today when gossiping with the gals or other couples, there are boundless laughs and ' awww, so sweets ' as incidents that brought two people closer are told and re told. The first time they met, how they got close, what they liked about each other, how they proposed, how things worked out, the hindrances they met as they got to know each other better, romantic moments, grand gestures expressing their love - all moments a rousing celebration of the success of their togetherness.

And after all, one of the things we love talking about Only as much as love and life is the person around whom our world revolves. I can just imagine many of you blushing as flashes of your life dance vividly in front of your eyes ... :)

I love a story that makes me think, that i can relate to, that has me wondering about my life and the people in it. This weekend I came across three such stories. I read Firefly Lane and watched the movies Runaway Bride and Love Aaj Kal. These are some of the random thoughts that flew through my head as I watched the movies smiling at how similar these stories were to life as I know it.

I wondered why it is that people don't know what they want even when it's right in front of them ? All they have to do is reach out and touch it.

Why is it that people don't know the source of their happiness when they have it with them and consequently forget to treasure that source ? What we think makes us happy is usually different from what truly touches our hearts.

Why is it that some people flirt without knowing that they are flirting? Why do they have no consideration of those around them and the subsequent feelings that they are in danger of hurting?

What makes people think that romance is in the lavish shows of affection ? Isn't romance even in the smallest gesture and the shared sly smile ? In the Fun things , just hanging out doing things together ?

How is it that people don't really Know themselves? They go along with whatever others' think they should be like and forget to look into what They need to be alive !

What is it that has people searching for their happiness within others' ?

Who says career is more important than family or vice versa ? Should a person not live their life the way they want to, doing whatever makes them happy ?

If a person were to live the life the way they want to, would they still be left with regrets of what they didn't have ?

Why are people always running behind what they don't have forgetting all that they already have ?

Does being a go getter mean you Have to put yourself and your priorities Over everyone elses' ?

What gives people a right to think they can reach into Your life and rearrange things about, only to have you picking up the pieces of the fiasco later?

No matter how close you are to someone or how close They think they are to you - do they Really understand you?

Why is it that people find it so hard to say they are sorry as soon as they realize they made a mistake ? What's important is to realize, amend and act, not wallow in the pool of your own self pity .

End of the day we are all mango people ( aam janta ) running down the roads of life in search for happiness. In the end, all anyone truly wants is the simplest thing - to be loved and cared for by someone who 'gets' You be it a relative, family , friend or the love of your life ! But for that isn't it important to know who you are, yourself ?

Ok ! These were almost rhetorical questions ... Most importantly I wonder why it is that for most people, nothing is ever enough ?!

You get up in the morning, open your cupboard and think " Hmm ! This is what I'll wear today. " A look is chosen.

You go shopping, search for something for days, months even and then see something that seems perfect in your budget and think " That's what I want. " A thing becomes a part of your home, look or personality.

You meet a new person and as you're talking you think " This is nice. " A friendship begins.

You are pouring over books, brooding about your job and while studying a new subject, think " That would be something I could do the Rest of my life. " A career is chosen.

You are deciding what to do in a given predicament and you think " This is the way it'll work ". A plan is formed.

You see someone new or an old friend in a new light or meet someone for marriage and think " Wow ! Such perfection. I could love this person forever. " A possibility arises.

Your relation is not doing too well even though you seem to be trying everything. Everyone tells you to leave and yet you plow on believing your love will take your through and then fine day you think. " That's it ! I deserve better. " A new you emerges.

You are talking about being together for the rest of your lives and at one point you think " This is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. " A promise is made.

You look at children and all of a sudden you feel something different and think " I wish I had one of my own . " The desire to become a parent arises.

You are driving down a road and think " Man ! I'm lost ... maybe I should drive this way. " . A direction is chosen and usually you Are right ! :)

That's how most of life's decisions go. Along with all the thinking, doubting, discussing, planning ; there is always an intuitive feeling - a voice inside that tells you, This is Right !!

Similarly for most phases of life. You feel ready to take on the next phase with a drive that you never knew you had. You just know that the " Time is Now . "

From the smallest thing to the biggest, your inner voice guides your way. I don't know what it is that makes us almost clairvoyant, but it's there all the same. Sure ! Not all choices turn out perfectly but then in time, one learns there was a reason why that didn't work out the way it did. Or the choices fall wrong simply because we confuse the voice with what we want or think we deserve or practical rationalities or others' advice.

The inverse also holds true. If it does not feel right, chances are it's not going to turn out so good no matter what you do. For years now if something doesn't feel right, I just don't do it and have rarely regretted it !

One could argue that you can take a negative and turn it into a positive. Life is not lived on feelings and gut reactions. This May be true! In fact, if you persevere you might actually turn things around but more often that not, that gut reaction that you ignore is usually right for a reason, for it comes from the place that knows who you truly are inside !

I guess what I'm saying is - Don't despair! Everything falls into place almost magically - when the time is right ; when the feeling is right !!

You pass through life, touching others. Some just brush past you and others' leave behind parts of themselves that mold into you ... in the form of memories, habits or an epiphany. These are the people you love being with, consider Friends. They help you grow, they laugh with you, they make you feel good for being you, accepting you as you are, they are there to listen or just spend a few hours with and much much more.

On the other end of the spectrum, your life is sprinkled with people whom you just can't connect with. Those who you've never been able to deal, with like or understand. They are everything you hate. You wish you could just get away, but you are tied to them by acquaintance or relations, cursed to bear the brunt of their presence whenever they deem fit to be with you. You run at the first chance you get avoiding them at all costs, only doing your duties as formality requires.

In the middle somewhere are those few who you are tied to by the strings of heart or obligations. You wish they could understand you. You want them to know who you are but somehow you know they never will. It's a one way street, however you put it. You know it would be better if you could break off the ties but you never leave, and you keep coming back, coz you care or you owe them or if nothing else, you appreciate all that they've done for you once upon a time. They may or may not make you feel the worst but in may ways you are who you are becoz of them. Other times you are juts programmed to care, even though you hate yourself.

In the end I guess every relation is a chemical equation. Some just work, other's need a catalyst, some give an extra by product as a plus and others just Don't work. And we just have to live with it all !!!

** We were passing a cross-section. As we approached the signal, I saw a man standing with a piece of cardboard held high above his head. As we got closer I read the markings to read, " God is Great !!! Willing to lease self for work. " Begging is not new to me nor are solicitors. But that a man is begging for work by using the word " lease " for himself threw me completely. The remaining ride, I wondered how easy all we have could disappear in the moment and thanked my stars for giving me all the little joys I take for granted most days.

** Later in the day, I went to Toys R Us. I am still amused by all the toys that are on display and even enjoyed fooling around a bit with the ones that said " Try me " . I remembered how Mom used to put away all my new toys a day or two after each birthday to be given to me when I'm older and more responsible. Then Gulf war happened and they all were gone ! Just like that. I never did get to play with any of them. So important to enjoy whatever you have when you have it with you.

** As I was thinking about this, I heard crying and turned around. This old lady was pushing a wheelchair where a girl in her teens sat, clearly agitated rocking back and forth. How sad it was that the lady had to care for that young, challenged girl. I passed on, in the opposite direction only to notice many of the passers by had stopped and were still staring at the duo, even when the crying had almost faded away. I felt sad that others' trials elicit such morbid curiosity!

** A day earlier, a friend was quite upset over her son needing stitches when he hurt his head. I understood her anguish yet explained that accidents do happen and she should be happy he's fine now. Yesterday, she informed me of a couple she knows who lost their child, born preterm. Reminded me of words I've heard from elders. " Everyone has to go through suffering of some kind. Be thankful for the ones you have, for it could have been much worse.

Ok !! Enough of the rona dhona ... I'm myself Bored of my mood and all that comes with it, so what better way to distract myself than write about some of the happiest moments in my life !!! Here goes ...

* When my brother was born. 10 years younger than me, he's my first baby ( Don't tell Him that !! ) .

* When I won a fabric painting contest at age 14 ( I did Not see that coming ... )

* When my Grandfather said I dance like Madhuri Dixit ( Him paying a compliment was a biggie in itself ;) )

* Getting up late and watching TV with mom like lazy bums.

* When we found my brother after he was lost for more than 3 hours in the busiest part of Mumbai ( for Mumbaiyaas , that's Shoppers Stop, Andheri ) in 97 .

* When my brother won an academic award in the whole of Gulf region.

* When I went roaming around in Khandala, it was raining and we were having bhajiyas.

* When I was the only one to get an increment one year into the job.

* The moment a few days after my engagement when I looked at my husband and felt " He's the one " .

* The days of my marriage. I had a fun wedding, laughing dancing all the way.

* My hubby's expression when I gave him our first anniversary gifts and his 2nd bday that we celebrated together.

* Walking around in the rain with my hubby sweetest, getting wet after watching Jab We Met. ( He's such a sport I tell u lolzzz ) .

* Going snow tubing in Pocono. It was Fantabulous.

* When I realized that Libraries in US are Free and the number of books you can check out is Unlimited. lolzzzz

* Each time I cook something new and it turns out proper, tasting good.

* When someone in my Online world touches me with their kind words.

There are many many more ... but right now I have a big smile on my face so I guess the aim of the post is achieved. Hope you have one too. Go ahead !! Take it up . Share some of you Happy Moments or Times . It's very theraputic ...

I'm in the dumps. Not literally !! Need a change, don't know what. Maybe I just need to help myself. I feel like something's missing even though I know I'm perfectly happy. Is that even possible ?

The other day i was watching Nat Geo and this scientist was talking about Sting Ray. For those who don't know it's a type of fish that looks like THIS . His team had the humongous thing in a kiddie swimming pool and they kept putting it up on a scale to measure it. They had tied it's stingers and kept pushing and pulling it and my temper kept going up. Then they cut it open and inserted a camera so that they can monitor it's movements. I felt so bad for the poor thing. What of It's privacy ? What is it with people ? How much do we Really need to know ? Isn't it enough that we are all over the earth that we are going into the seas and forests etc. Besides, that how would we feel if Fish got out of the water and started man handling us to check our weight and our eating habits ? I don't know. It just seems wrong. No , I'm not a vegetarian. But I say if you're going to use something for food, kill it quick and let it serve it's purpose so to speak. Be merciful . Don't irritate poor animals just to figure out what's happening in places where you aren't supposed to anyway.

I just keep getting surprised by people all the time. These days I find myself becoming an idealist and thus highly emotional when I'm dissappointed , which is again often.

Things are so wrong everywhere ! I sit among people who talk about the wrongness of diversification based on religion, caste, languages and then laugh about the tendencies of South Indians or Gujratis or Arabs. We all do it. Most of us keep our minds open when we meet new people despite of it, and yet there are people out there who are close minded to Everything.

Have you noticed all of a sudden saris, curries and Bollywood are the new flavor of the world ? Nothing wrong with that, but all the information is warped. People make assumptions, confusing all the different cultures in India. When my husband and I ate non veg, we had people expressing EXTREME surprise since they thought ALL Indians were veg. Why is it only in India we learn about all cultures, all over the world ? Is it because most of us dream of going abroad so we prepare ourselves mentally before hand ? Why doesn't the world know about Our cultures ?

Why is it that friendship is so hard ? Why is out of sight automatically out of mind ? People you think you cared so much about are no where to be seen . They can't be bothered to keep in touch or send a mail ? Or even read a mail you've sent to them. Pointing fingers is the name of the game when you express the effect their absence has on you. Oh ! They Say they care but Do nothing to show it ? Then there are those who just know how to take. Except when they need you or know that they'll be needing you soon. Those times they are all over you , fawning like there;s no tomorrow. And most of the time we fall for it.

Whatever happened to common courtesies and manners ? Saying thankyou ? Returning phone calls ? Being sorry when you hurt someone ? Not chewing gum when you are on stage or in an interview ? Letting another finish what they are saying ? Keeping your voice down when you talk on the phone ? Saying hello when someone smiles at you ?

I might be becoming an idealist but atleast one can try right ? I wonder why I talk about all of this. Maybe it's coz when I was troubled there was rarely ever anyone to guide me. I had friends who held my hand but no one ever told me the right from wrong or just plain how people or life is !! I figured things out feeling things, often falling hard along the way. And I hope and pray that there is someone out there who can be helped . Not everyone has to have walk a road to know it leads to the end of a cliff right ??

There's this contest taking place at Clarity of Night . Below is the story I submitted for it. Ironical part of my experience was I ended up writing 3 stories and then went stark MAD thinking which one should be sent. My hubby had a good laugh at the predicament I put myself into. Well, eventually I picked one yet I know I have a long way to go to be able to compete with the caliber of work I'm seeing there. If you're up for it, give it a whack !

About the criteria for the story. It Had to be within 250 words and based on the picture taken by Jason Evans titled The Truth in Wine ( In Vino Veritas )

All three are different themes. When and IF you read all three, do let me know which one YOU liked best. Suggestions, critique or comments are always a pleasure to read. :) Thanks . So, here's hoping you enjoy the read. Cheers !!!

And for those of you who are voracious readers, always on the look out for some good stories, check out the stories submitted at the contest. They make for wonderful reading, with great plots, writing and unique twists to boot !!

My entry is # 60 :D

On a separate note, I'd like to mention I'm really thankful to Aniket and Kunjal for informing me of this opportunity to challenge myself. Above all, my hubby specially for being so patient with me along with being my support and guide. I wonder what I'd ever do without him. :)

OK ! I've never claimed to be athletic. Far from it. The only times I've come close to sports is PT in school, some light throw ball, and badminton, but that was all back when I used to believe throwing around a shuttlecock was fun .

Now don't go imagining one of those girly girls who is never willing to get down and dirty. I am always game to try something new, be it football, basket ball, cricket, volleyball, rowing a boat, canoe, or just a silly game that involves running around. The mistake would be to expect me to have any kind of hand eye co ordination. I never win but I play to the best of my clumsy abilities using brain instead of brawn, always keeping in mind the tips that the people around me dish out as we play.

Why do I bother, one might ask ? For me, it's not about winning, but playing the game. I have horrible luck and never win, even board games. It's more about having fun, getting some exercise, and having some laughs, more at my expense than anyone else, along the way. Yet, I pride myself for giving most things a shot at least once, whenever I can drum up the enthusiasm and courage. Those moments become wondrous experiences, like when a friend of mine tried teaching me how to properly kick a football. The first proper kick and block I did, are still clear in my head as if they happened yesterday.

Past few weekends we've been going boating and it's been a wonderful experience, barring my hubby's frustration at getting me to go in any particular direction ( ref : rowing ) . I'm a water baby. Anything to do with water, and I'm game, without much persuasion. Be it swimming, boating , water skis or in the water park. Even in amusement parks , I just Love the rides that splash you, drenching you in water. As I've said before it's all probably due to the fact that I can swim. Now that again is another story. Since I learnt swimming at the age of 5 or 6 when my dad used to take me into the sea and throw me into the water. I used to flap my hands shrieking, yelling at him for wanting me to die. Yup !! I was a melodramatic kid I guess. Same reaction applied for my mom when she tried to teach me to skate. But they make for wonderful memories !!!

Yet I wonder if I'd have been even more adventerous had I been allowed to climb sofas or break a few things when I was younger. When I was tiny, I never even climbed the jungle gym and then when my bro grew up and my mom tried to get me to climb on top, I wouldn't go beyond the bottom two steps for fear of falling.

What I don't understand is, people who are never willing to put their foot into Any experience for the fear of doing badly or looking silly ? I can understand fear of heights etc, but at least give something a shot Once ?? I have the satisfaction of having the desire to try most of what the world has to offer at least once. I mean, we have but one life and sitting at the sidelines and watching others do stuff isn't My way of living at least. Sure !! Everyone can't try everything, but you can't say No to everything either right ?? I mean, I have seen people who don't even want to try playing pool, shuffle board, bowling , dancing or even a video game. They must have their reasons, you say ? No they don't . No reason. They just don't want to let lose for a moment for fear of spoiling their make up or breaking a sweat. I'm not one to persuade anyone more than two three times, but then it makes the rest of the group feel that they have to compensate somehow for the fun that those nay sayers are missing. Do something once, and then if you don't like it don't do it. But having never tried it and having no desire to either is just, I don't know, wrong at so many levels. Coz those are the kind of people who extend the same kind of attitude to other fields of life as well, scared to let go of their comfort zones, denying changes to just live !!!

So guys, remember !! All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy ... There's much more to life than sitting around studying or working. Don't sit around getting bored. Get up ! Go out ! Try anything new. Live a little more . After all, all anyone of us wants is a life better than the one we have now right ??

Every day we make decisions. Every action is associated with an expectation. We make educated guesses for the best action. How to behave in a given situation, how another will react to our words, how a relationship will grow or change, how close we want to be to someone, how much distance we want to keep with others, how to control the anger we feel, how to hurt someone without it bouncing back, how to get over hurt we feel, how to handle irritants, how to curb our desires, how to express our feelings and the list goes on and on ...

All the while hoping against hope that things turn out such that life takes a turn for the better and keeps moving in sane, joyous direction. We fight a constant battle between our hearts and our heads. Sometimes we give in to one or the other, depending on which is more persistent and creative with it's excuses :)

Meanwhile many of us, just let things happen. We choose to go with the flow - belittling the impact of our decisions, imagining we deserve whatever happiness we get is justified as it fills the void that we're feeling.

All the same, every Day we walk a Fine Line. The line that's drawn between the blacks and whites in our life. If we all could live in the white parts, we'd All be happy. Coz what is better than keeping things simple, Right ? Wrong ? For as we look around we see, people prefer living in the grays. Why ? Because it's exciting , adventurous, dangerous ... and without them, where would there be any fun ? We maneuver ourselves towards what's tempting at the given moment, making up a million reasons about why we need to do what we feel like doing. Loopholes in the rule book of life are created impromptu for our convenience. Later when things go wrong, the consequent drama makes us feel alive in some ways as a piece of us is taken away. At the same time, sadly we lose out on other things that could genuinely make us happy.

This line is getting fainter day by day as people get more confused about their feelings and actions. What does one expect when one walks the fine line between the below and strays from one into the other or mistakes one for the other and leads to further complications, hurt, misery or worse broken bridges ...

If you're miserable, the simple thing is to try to not be miserable. Idealistic ??! Probably ! Realistic ??! I believe so ! It's Always easier said than done , but if it's being said, then it's been done by Someone in the past right ? And it can be done again , too ...

Life needs it's grays, but IF things are kept Simple, the grays turn into colors and life is just so much easier all around. Maybe we could be more careful walking the fine line. Maybe it would help if we could keep our deeds in check by identifying that -

Love Is Different From FriendshipLow priority Is Different From IndifferenceLiving life to the fullest Is Different From Going through the motionsCompromise Is Different From SacrificeLoving Is Different From CaringLetting go Is Different From LosingFrankness Is Different From RudenessReminding Is Different From PesteringScolding Is Different From Berating Having principals Is Different From Being Stubborn Inquisitive Is Different From NoseyUnderstanding Is Different From Being a push overKeeping quite Is Different From Accepting FaultBeing friendly Is Different From Flirting Maintaining Distance Is Different From Being Aloof Venting Is Different From WhiningBeing Sad Is Different From Being MelodramaticResolving Issues Is Different From Playing the Blame GameHaving an Opinion Is Different From JudgingGenuine Advice Is Different From Coaxing Drawing Conclusions Is Different From Making Assumptions Diplomacy Is Different From Choosing a Side

And so the list goes on and on, based on the intention, actuality and perception ....

What's the point of this post ? I don't know. Some days I regret mistakes I've made. Sure those were lessons and have made me who I am and I do love who I am today. Yet some days, I find myself wishing I had someone who'd guided me kindly, to the trodden path. Those days I hurt more than usual for those I love. I wish I could help them shed away their pain or that I could make them realize somehow that life doesn't Need to be as complicated as they tend to make it or for that matter, imagine it !

No, all pain is not self created and I don't mean to demean any one's suffering. But some of it at least can be left behind or better still, completely avoided when one just chooses to drift in a different direction and move onto bluer, brighter skies ...

Isn't it time we took charge of our life, our heart, our head, our feelings and thus our actions and the subsequent consequences ??

I love Amusement parks. The melee, the sounds, the cotton candy, the long lines, the colorful rides with the equally colorful people, the soft toys, the stalls, the silly games, the smells, the speed of the rides, looking at the reactions of the others as they go on, go through and come out of each ride, imagining how each ride must actually feel.

I can sense you wondering. The thing is, I don't do roller coasters, I don't do rides. No Sirree !!! I know my limits and stay on the ground. Basically I'm the theme park goer that people look at wonder why I bother to come. Rideholics !!!! Don't bother denying it !!!! :p

"Cmon !!! Try it once " , you say?

"It's fun after the first time. " you say?

" Fraidy Cat !!! ", you say ?

" The feeling is awesome. Just let go and put your hands in the air and it'll be wonderful here on. ", you say?

" You don't know what you're missing ... ", you say.

" You get scared and scream ?! That's ok. Everyone does. That's the fun part. ", you say. Not like me, they don't. My screams are more like the guy from Scream or Jason is running after me :D

I've heard it all before, from friends, colleges, family. I've even had perfect strangers come up to me and say, " Parks are Not for reading. Go on a ride ! It's fun. " Stubbornly, I stick to my guns. I wait patiently for those who choose to go on the rides, sometimes alone even, click pictures and enjoy the wondrous feeling second hand, living life vicariously through ... well, these days my hubby. Thankfully he gives detailed descriptions after each one.Hey !! I Have tried it you know ?? And well ... read on ...

My two WILD experiences of rides include one on the banana boat thingi. We had gone Early in the morning to avoid the queues. I must have been in the 8th and my bro was 5 or 6. We were the only ones on the ride, besides another kid. We went up slowly and as we were upside down, I started screaming, which led to my bro flexing his lungs as well, and our chorus was diligently followed by our unknown companion. The ride was hastily stopped and we were shoved off to the easier rides like bumping cars, and water log rides, to which I have remained loyal, to this day.

The other memory is of my naive brother coaxing me into going with him on the medium thrill roller coaster. I've just started working and he's in his teens, all set to take on Any ride ever created. I hesitated but not wanting to say No to one of the few things he's asked of me, I went along. How bad could it be ?! Right ? Wrong !!

As we clunked along, up to the highest point, my breathe catches and I wonder what the hell I'm doing ?! We reach the top and the ground is too far away for my liking. My tummy does somersaults and I ask my brother if they'll let us get off if I scream loud enough ? He in turn, slightly embarrassed by his older sister, kindly tries to convince me to relax, and how I can probably see my best friend's house from where we are sitting. I knew it was a ploy to distract me, and as much as I appreciate his attempts even today, my heart that time wouldn't quit trying to jump out of my chest. Bravely, I decided to get through the next few seconds bracing myself, closing my eyes, holding the railing tight and wishing for the ride to go faster just so that it'd get over. As we come to the end, I swear to myself, and by all the Gods that I shall never go on another high speed, high positioned, blood gushing ride again.

By now all you thrill seekers are surely smiling and those not so subtle might to laughing out loud. But for me it's just sad! Till recently, I thought it was just me being Alto phobic. But now I figure that can't be. I don't mind terraces, beautiful vistas from much above sea level, mountain tops, speed boats, fast cars, bikes etc but the mere thought of a glass elevators, those spaced out stairs through which you can see, roller coasters etc have me jumpy. Recently, during a discussion, I realized that it's more of an issue of trust and control for me.I don't trust the people who've created the ride. The height, the speed, the construction,the potential of me being the last straw on the poor ride's back, the enormous possibilities for things to go wrong. It rings within me the fear of my life ending sooner than later, more probably due to a heart attack than any actual falling ...

And no ! Figuring out my problem hasn't helped me One bit. Now water rides. That's more my thing. I'm confident, since I can swim for my life should anything go wrong. :) Well, most of them any way. I howl, even on the water log rides, which much to my chagrin, my husband points out each time is just too loud considering it's not that high or for that matter, scary !!!

All said and done, I still enjoy every moment when we go. The metaphorical highs and lows anyway. As for roller coasters. Life's been giving me a pretty good ride so far. :D

So, what do You love about Theme parks ? I presume you Have gone to one in your life time and have your favorites and freak outs. So spill !!!

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”

I saw Valkyrie a few days back and I am still reeling, with a million thoughts running through my head. I Oscillate between awe for courage, intelligence, dedication to the cause and sadness, and wonder at my own potential should I ever be faced with such choices ...

Imagine those men, fighting for what's right, for their country, just so Others wouldn't remember it as Hitler's Germany. So sad that what's right is often marred by hazy beliefs and is squashed by blindness and stupidity.

It's so sad that most of us worry over trivial things, which we could solve with a little effort and intelligence whereas millions in those times lived in fear every moment, with no where to hide, wondering if they'll be the next ones to be taken into the chambers or shot.

It's so stupid that terrorists today are not capable of giving a thought to the perception they are develop for their country.

I wonder if I could EVER be 1/10 as brave as those men who looked down a barrel of a gun. My husband says that when living in such horrid conditions, people are capable of doing things that they themselves could never imagine but then I Know that people can never go beyond their basic nature and thus I find myself speculating about my own.

The amount of courage it takes for men like Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, Bhagat Singh, who recognized the need for men to band together against injustice, at whatever cost to themselves, brings a tear to my eye as I even ponder of the fears they faced with those brave faces.

The horror of it all as people stared down a barrel of a gun, or walked to their death, believing in their convictions, or by no fault of their own. Hatred is such an ugly emotion, bringing out the worst in people, affecting all those around them. Visualize the blindness it creates, that allows one to take the life of another, with no regard for the scars created ??

I'm so, so, so very lucky to be living this comfortable life and the independence to live life My way. Many a times, it's been very hard but it's always easier than it was for those long forgotten, who never had a chance. Which brings me to the thought, that Maybe the rest of us owe it to them, to live our lives to the fullest and best of our potential, doing whatever little we can to make the world a better place Today. Just be as loyal, caring, loving, friendly, helpful, appreciative, jolly, courageous, adventerous, fun loving, as you can be Every day, making sure you do as much justice to yourself as to the ones you care about.

Standing by the sidelinesGuiding those in the game of lifeTo work hard, toe the line and play hardProviding for their family without questionThinking ahead of time for all that is indispensableLaughter, kind words, silent looks, gruff scoldingsLove untold behind every action and wordWith eyes on twinkling stars in our futuresProuder of our accomplishments than we areHappy in our joys, worried for our failuresDisappointments portrayed without feelingsWith a few, hidden tears on those treasured moments

Fathers, our unsung heroesWe hold you close for all that and moreYou've molded your blood, sweat, tears and life lessonsInto a pedestal we look at and try to reach for every moment, every yearYou and you alone, are My Hero today and Forever ...

I tried to search for quotes on Fathers online and surprisingly there weren't that many to choose from, which gave birth to the poem above. So this post is dedicated to all fathers, especially mine who've helped their their children grow into amazing human beings.

I love my Dad. Not just because he's mine but for the straightforward person he is : who always stands by what he believes in. I admire him for his planning prowess, his money management, his hard work, for trying to always make a special effort to right things when they go wrong, for always make sure we had everything we would ever need, for his jolly demeanor and specially for trying to be the best father, son, husband, brother, friend a man can be - always going that extra mile . I am what I am because of him and that can be seen in the strengths of my character.

After all this years, I have been blessed with Another father, whose given me the greatest gift of all time. A happy life. And considering the wonderful man my husband is Only a reflection and further proof of the astounding person my Father in law is. It's always a pleasure listening to him talk, to observe his dedication to his work, to notice his love for his sons and his wife that can be seen in his subtle ways and kind words. His joy at a new experiences is wonderful to share. As I listen to my husband regale me with stories about his childhood with his father, I note the profound influence a father has on his son. I truly appreciate the quality of life they have shared together and thus pass on to us.

I wish they can be as proud of their children as we are lucky to have them as our Guiding Lights.

I always cry when watching the " Titanic ". Always. From the scene where the musicians keep playing, to the captain holding onto the mast of the ship, to the people who try frantically to get out, the fathers letting go of their children and wives, to the guy who shoots himself out of desperation, to the One boat that chooses to go back, to the woman holding the child looking at Kate, to the last scene where Leonardo tells her not to let go, to where they meet again in the afterlife ...

I shudder tho think what goes through one's mind at such times. With their loved ones to think of , prayers to Gods forgotten, pictures of the worst flashing before their eyes, hope of a rescue, desire to help another, or just the need to get out of it all .... some how. My fingers hesitate ...

I was in Kuwait during the Gulf War. Now all that remain are memories, for we lost all we owned then. I was 10. I woke up the morning of August 2nd 1990, to see my mom filling any and every bottle with water, taping the windows with duct tape. On asking what was happening, she told me very matter of fact that " Iraq has invaded Kuwait. "

A week later, we were 4/5 families, with a few bachelors living together in someone else's apartment, waiting for it to pass us by somehow I guess. I was too young to worry, but I can still feel the vibes. One morning, news came that I.K.Gujral was coming into Kuwait with a plane to take back as many Indians as he could.We were told to carry bare essentials, which for us were mom's jewelry and pampers for my bro. We rushed to the airport. As we stood around waiting, rumors spread that the plane was being filled with families who had connections. The person monitoring the number of people going through, told my dad that the plane was in fact full.

I can NEVER forget the look of That man, as my dad started screaming at him, taking hold of his collar and shaking him hard. My father asked the man, how it was that there were men inside when many women and children were still outside. He abused him, threatening that if my mom, me and my bro weren't on the plane, that man would be sorry. People pulled them apart and rallied to my father's logic. I still remember my Dad saying, " If the women and children go through, the men will be atleast relax and it'll be easier to try getting out. " Men, with more political influence than the clip board holder came and discussed the situation with the others revolting, placating them.

In some time, men were seen coming out of the fighter plane. We were ushered in. The plane was soon full of women and children sitting on the floor. I even got I.K.Gujral's autograph.

When we arrived in Delhi, and went back to my Dad's place, people thought we had nothing and thus offered nothing. My mom's relatives poured in with things for us to use, buying us clothes to wear, making sure we were as comfy as we could be in the room on the terrace with the hot tin roof.

A few days after we arrived, we heard of a pilot who was given a suitcase full of jewelry by a family friend to take across customs in India to avoid the taxes ( the suitcase NOT being bare essentials ) . The pilot denied being given any such case at the other end and walked off.

My father came with 11 other men, via Iraq and Jordan. The men unanimously decided to take one suitcase each and foodstuff in their cars. The D day of travel, 10 of the men came with their cars full of things they owned. My father, the man who follows all rules , that he is came with 1 suitcase and a stereo system ( which he ended up giving as bribe at Iraqi border ). Some even asked if they could keep more of Their stuff in our car and Dad refused. My mom says I hardly slept or ate till my dad came back to us.

Such is humanity. People strip down to their core self. And now Flight AF 447. My heart goes out to all those people who go through such situations, coming out the other end , changed with the realizations of the truths of life. It's not only they who get affected but all those whose life they touched in any way. I pray for them all !!

My imagination runs wild as I think of what all those people go through, mind, body and soul. All those who end up being in the wrong place at the wrong time, through no fault of their own. I never know whether it's heart breaking when you picture the horrors or heartening when you hear of sacrifices made and risks one takes in such situations, for people they care about or strangers even. It's occurrences like Titanic, Katrina, Tsunami, freak accidents that separate the heroes, from the villains, the cowards, the just there, or watching people. But as in the end of any ordeal, all that are left behind are the " Survivors" . This set of people are destined to relive those moments and pass on their versions of the incident.

As if Natural calamities weren't enough to wreck havoc on humanity, we have Wars and Terrorism. People can be so Stupid !!

Isn't it sweet ? The look on someone's face when you say something nice about them. It could be anything and to anyone yet without fail, it's bring forth delight to the listener. Of course reactions may differ depending on the way the compliment is paid but it always becomes a cherished memory !!

When I was younger, much younger, I'd read one of those books about the things one should try doing every day and there was it - " Compliment 3 people every day ! ". It stuck with me and made sense. I knew even then though, it would be difficult finding genuinely nice things to say each day. ;) And since I am not one to embellish, I just did it whenever I got the opportunity. I sprinkle them about whenever I feel praise is deserved and sit back and relish the resulting blushes, negations, acceptance speeches, elaborations, the smiles, the giggles, the pride, basically all the looks, explanations that say the comment meant a lot ! You could even say it's kind of selfish even, for it gives Me equal if not more pleasure.

This story is such an example. Some though Might consider it proof of me being a lil weird!!

I was in college, commuting from Andheri to Nerul in the Local train and was way too sleepy for my own good. Trying to keep alert I looked around and saw this astoundingly elegant lady reading a book. I observed the drape of her sari, the way she moved, the way she held her book and wondered if I could be as graceful when I grew older.

Thus observing my surroundings I fell asleep. A while later, I jerked at a touch and the same lady informed me that the train would be taking a different stop and I'll need to change trains. We got off and when I got my bearings, thanked her for her kindness. She smiled and 10 mins later we caught the next train. As I got up to stand at the door to get off at my stop, I see that the same lady is already standing there. I stand for a minute of so, smile at her earning a smile back. Then I very boldly go, " Excuse me. May I say something ? "

She looks at me, lets out a huge puff of a sigh and beams like an angel. Laughing out loud, she says. " You will not believe the horrid day I've had. I so needed something like that. You really made my day !!! Thank You. "

We both laugh at this, our stop comes and I never see her again. But I feel really happy that I brought a much needed moment of happiness to someone. I know that it's exchanges like these that get locked into our treasure chest only to be taken out and revisited in moments blue.

It's so nice to be happy for someone else. To share in their joy, appreciate their home, admire their talent, say nice things about something they've achieved, or a job well done, comment on how beautiful they look and are !!! I wonder why then it's so rare to find people who can be happy for you, for it's such a joyous feeling. A few genuine, heart felt words and you " make someone's day ".

I've had many such moments that will be forever etched in my mind. The recent being at my hubby's party, my house guests complimenting my home and the food I cooked. My hubby admiring my surprising skills. Another touching one was my grandfather saying I dance like Madhuri :)) Oh ! I could go on of course but of late it's smashing when someone reads my blog and appreciates the post or the intention behind it. Specially since I have it in writing. :)) I only hope the comments that I leave on your blogs, let you know how special You are !!

So now, tell Me about a compliment that has meant a lot to you or that you gave that was cherished by another.

Pay it forward, make Someone's day, for it's a gift that truly keeps on giving. Let yourself bathe in the sunshine of radiance of an honest compliment !!! A compliment a day, keeps the blues away !! A few words could change someone's life ...

Oh !!! By the way, just so YOU know -

Becoz

ps - The first comments by Archana and Crizwere about compliments that don't really mean anything or leave you wondering about your own worth. I didn't even want to go there Coz words that are superfluous go in one ear and out the next. It's instinctive. Over time we all can make out whose genuine and who isn't. From that knowledge we Know when it is that someone's comments should be taken to heart and whose we shouldn't even think about, good Or bad !!! There'll always be those who'll say something or even when they don't say a word, their eyes belie their true feelings one way or another.

Like I said, it's the way you say something along with the words that matter. Genuinity definitely leaves a mark. And then you surely know that You ARE worth every alphabet in the sentence that's spoken for you. :D If no where else, they come here. I'll let you know bluntly ;) :))

OK !! This is probably one of the more controversial topics I may talk about, and it May hit a few nerves so I'm taking the precaution of saying that all the below is from my experiences and all that I've seen and heard from people around me, people I've loved and cared for deeply and seen in their worst times. So if anyone does not agree, sure put your point forward but it's just something I personally believe in. No offense meant and if it helps any of you out there .... they are words from my heart to yours ....

I read the book " He's Just Not That Into You " yesterday. The tag line being " It's the no excuses rule to understanding guys " and that's exactly what it is. It's a light read, which is so to the point that it's hilarious in it's common sense. I recommend it to all the girls out there. Do yourselves a favor and read it. I wish I had back when !!! Yes, it's girly girly but guys too could benefit from it, for Many gals are prone to the same kind of obnoxious behavior that some times guys alone are blamed for. They say ( I don't know who ?? ) that men are from mars and women are from Venus but we all co inhabit the same planet and well, lets face it, with women's equality on an exponential rise we see men as confused as women and when single, everyone could use some help deciphering their counterparts.

Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about today. When reading the book it occurred to me how stupid, yes Stupid all of us get in the name of LOVE !! How we are all willing to put up with the weirdest things mixing up fact with fiction? Is it hormones ?? I don't know . Maybe it's the movies or romance novels. Maybe it's the VERSION of what we want our love or the object of our desire to be. Maybe it's that our parents / society/ media grill into us to do Everything for the person you love. Maybe people DO go blind in those moments. Maybe we just want to be loved so bad that we just keep stumbling in love, accepting whatever kind someone gives us. Harsh ?! Yeah, well ... but it's true more often than not.

We make excuses for those we love. Sure, there are times when compromise and understanding are Very essential to the success of any relation, but many other times we let go things that are Big NO NOs, just becoz we have convinced ourselves to overlook the FACTS and accept the hazy realities presented to us or the lies we tell ourselves. It's important to know to differentiate. Lies and Actions that if we see happening to another seem absurd and yet we let it All happen to us becoz we think Our love is Different, Unique. Well, the truth is - it's not !!! And another truth is, NOT everything is OK in the name of Love.

It's not ok to for someone to say things they have no intention of doing like call or bring a gift or help out or give time.

It's not ok for someone to keep another waiting time and again with no regard for another.

It's not ok to be indifferent or insulting to people the one you love cares about.

It's not ok to consistently make fun of, condescend, taunt, be rude to or disrespectful of someone you love. (Abuse is not just physical you know and this kind of behavior also leaves the worst scars)

It's not ok to be in touch with an exes while you are in a relationship. Sure, that's subjective but lets face it, what would one be proving by that and Most people are just not comfortable being in the presence of or compared to or jealous of someone from the past.

It's not ok to be very possessive, not giving each other enough space to grow.

It's not ok to cheat with a married person or a person in a relationship.

It's not ok to brush off what is important to or the feelings or the talents of those you cherish.

It's not ok to be in a long distance relationship and not call or keep in touch.

It's not ok to give another importance while ignoring the person you are supposedly with.

It's not ok for a guy to even raise a hand on a girl threateningly , neither a girl should ever slap the man in her life .

It's not ok to flirt with other people when you know you hold the keys to someone else's heart.

It's not ok to lead someone who believes in you onto paths from which it's really hard to return.

It's not ok to mooch off the person who cares about you, only coz you are too shameless and cheap.

It's not ok to get close to a married man or woman, no matter how horrid they claim their own spouses are. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

It's not ok to not talk to each other for days, putting your ego before your relationship.

It's not ok to be in a relationship, once the trust isn't there just becoz you're too scared to be alone.

None of it is OK.

Oh yes !!! We give ourselves and those around us a million reasons. He's too busy. She's pre-occupied. They are just friends. He didn't mean to say that. She cares from inside but just can't show it. We are too different, and that's why we fight. The yelling is a part of our passion. It's not the right time for us to commit to each other. It's just fear of commitment, that's OK right ? It won't be like this forever, they'll change. She's like this only with others, she'll be different with me. Our love is not like the others, it's unique. He's scared of his parents and will talk to them when the time is right. She's concentrating on her career right now. He understands me like no one else can, I don't care what else he does. I'll sacrifice everything if she asks me to. I can't imagine living without him. He's just stingy about money, that's ok coz he's saving for Our future. That happened to you, it would Never happen to me. I love him too much to let go. If I do something for him, doesn't mean he has to love me back the same way . He doesn't say it or show it , but i know he appreciates me. I know deep inside he loves me becoz usually he's nice to me, it's only sometimes that he's so rude. Look at how much she's helped me, I can't forget all that and leave her even after all the other things she's done. Oh!! His ex was a b*tch, which is why he's become like this - hurtful and scared of commitment. And the excuses go on and on .

Fact is No excuses can justify the Not Ok parts. Yeah, people may have their reasons but it's just not right. Most of the times, the above cases have Nothing to do with love. It's just one person putting all their belief into a " Fiction " that the other person loves them in their ways as well. It's just really, truly sad !!! My heart breaks when I hear any of the above and more, for I know that tomorrow, Most probably someone is going to get hurt. Bad !!!! And that turns into a vicious circle as people lash out or act out or hide within themselves, so as to ease the colosssal pain.

Yes, Love is magical, a mystery, miraculous, romantic and all that jazz !! Above all love is Simple.

I've said it all before, but I'll say it again.

Love is kind, gentle, giving. Love makes every thing seem easy for you are always there for each other.

Love makes you feel good about yourself and supports you in everything that you do. Love gives you the strength to be your self with the one your love.

Love helps your grow to new heights becoming a better person that you were.

Love is laughter, playfulness and fun !

Love lets you know that you are special and cherished and cared for.

Love works out all problems big or small, with the conviction that they can be solved.

Love doesn't have measurements of who did what but it lets you know that you are appreciated for what you are.

Love is when you trust someone enough to know they'll stand by your through everything.

Love doesn't ask you to change. It might expect some adjustments, but Never to change your personality.

Love is mutual respect.

Love is what makes you dial a number, no matter how busy you are, just so that you can hear their voice or tell them you miss them or to let them know you'll call later.

Love is what helps you stand by your convictions.

Love is what breaks your heart when you see a tear in another's eye.

Love is what has you jumping through hoops to see a smile of their face.

Love is when you want someone else to be happy, even if it means you not being in their life.

Love doesn't cause pain and suffering. It's only as complicated as you make it. If you love someone truly , you'll try your utmost to be with them. If for some reason you can't, there's no shame in moving on and letting them do the same. Sure there's hurt and pain and tears but there's always the hope for a better tomorrow. It's truly blessed , to love with your whole being the person you commit the rest of your life to, whose returning the promise to you accepting you as is. You're heart is big enough. It can keep giving should you choose to. And fact of the matter is , if you talk to Anyone openly and frequently, soon there's a vibe between you that will surely grow into understanding. When you spend all your days and nights with someone how can you Not love them? Cherishing the past is fine, in fact it's important for it makes you what you are today, but holding onto it leaving no place for the present is just such a waste !!!!

All what I've said above is not just true of a guy and girl but also of any other relation. Why is it that we don't guide the people we care about so much with a doze of reality. It's admirable to support the ones you care about but we shouldn't be scared to nudge them in the right direction when we know what's happening is wrong. After all, what kind of love lets someone walk on the path of self destruction ?? It might not help immediately or maybe make you out to be a bad guy ( That's usually only if you're ruthlessly blunt ), but Maybe : just maybe your might make a difference. In the end, when all things are said and done, the intention will be appreciated.

As I say all of this I know it's all pointless. Only when realization dawns on the person in a given situation, does one decide that enough is enough. It doesn't matter till then who tells you what convincing you to do the right thing. When you decide to love yourself, is when all else falls into place. How else can you love another when you do not know to love yourself ?? It's surprisingly easy easy to lose yourself when you love another deeply and people don't usually know that it's much easier to find someone else to love that to repair your crushed self esteem . Believe me ! I've seen Most Versions of Love and what I've seen is to for any problem you need to believe with all your heart that it can be solved but more important is to know when to let go !!!!

So just stop giving excuses to yourself more than anyone else. Try, for once seeing things for what they are. Do yourself a favor and believe in yourself . Know that you are special and unique and there's someone out there who actually deserves you, who'll appreciate everything about you. Well, maybe not everything...but be sure they'll support you in your shortcomings, help your overcome them and gladly adjust with the rest. Don't worry about what others will say, they don't control the quality of your life, you do !!! Know what you want from your partner and be careful of what you're willing to give up. Believe that you can to be loved, just the way you want it and cherished with all that someone can give you.

Gave my Hubby a surprise birthday party yesterday. He's going to be 30 on the 3rd, so thought to make a little special !!! Yeah, I've been teasing about him becoming old endlessly, but only for another few days or so Can't help myself !! All his office buddies came to grace the occasion with their families and helped by co coordinating among themselves at 2 days notice as I slogged on putting together the food and the photos and music for the actual day.

He thought only a friend who was leaving for India Friday night was coming for a casual dinner before his trip when in fact I had invited everyone. Needless to say, he was shocked to see them all at the door , with the balloons and cake. Managed to surprise him yet again and am happy to report, he enjoyed - a lot . Touchwood !!!

Which brings me to a few of random thoughts -

Birthdays a big deal in my book , yes !! For those are the days that you can truly celebrate the existence of the person who came to earth that day. Sure we could do this almost any day, but we don't usually remember to, do we ?? So I try to let my close some ones know every now and again in every possible way that they are special !!

When I was down last week, feeling lonely, I never would have thought that a week later, my home would be filled by wonderful people, laughing, sharing our special day with us and saying extremely kind things about myself, my hubby and my home. That also by an idea that I had for my loved one, impromptu when most people need a week's notice at least. Just goes to show how unpredictable time is, and the generosity of human nature.

How things that are unplanned are usually the ones that give us most joy and become wondrous!!

As I see balloons flying about in my home, I feel joy in their lightness and color.

When people ask me, how in the world can you do so much, plan, cook for so many people, decorate, always coming up with new ways to surprise him, I wonder why they ask. When you do something for the smile of another, specially someone you love, no effort seems too much. Sure, every body part might ache like hell eventually, but that look of surprise and awe he has, when I see the pictures and the smiles of the people, specially him, it all seems more than worth it. Those looks tell mehe knows - I love him.

Above all, how lucky I am to have been blessed by a man, to love and cherish who feels for me equally, if not more !!!

It's the day after, I'm standing in the balcony looking at the clouds floating by and feel the wind in my hair. I lounge around and then come in to gaze at my sleepy husband temped to shake him awake coz it's the afternoon and I want to go for a drive. It's going to rain, I can feel it and I want to be there when it happens.

Still out of the goodness of my heart, I let him sleep on. It was very hot in the afternoon when he came.

Buzzzzzzz !! I jerk around. I hear a noise, going on and on, off and on. On again and then off again. I know an insect has come in. I creep towards the sound, pull up the blinds and lo and behold! There it is. Buzzing off to glory. I run to get a towel, trying to shove it out the balcony door but by some wrong misunderstanding in my landing instructions, it goes deeper into the house.

I follow the slight vibrations into the kitchen. I turn on the kitchen light to make sure That's what it was and sure enough, there it was below the fridge and then it takes off towards the bulb.

Me, being the damsel, who gets Very distressed by roaches or insects ( no ! I'm not partial ), I go to my Prince Charming and wake him up so that he does his " Guyly " duties and gets rid of that nasty creature, Pronto !! He gets up, orders weapons of his choice - a cardboard and two plastic plates and rides off to rein in the rogue critter.

He observes the movements of this mystic vermin. Then he announces to the my utter horror that it's actually a Wasp and is tempted by my interior decoration to become our new room mate.

THIS is when I start freaking out, and screaming as it flies from one wooden surface to another, looking for a place to build it's nest. Yes, I scream and jump around like a girly girl ( I swear, these times are the only times I act like a lunatic from fear of being stung or worse ).

Meanwhile, my handsome hunk of a husband to my utter relief, smartly capturs the offending brute who was scaring his dainty wife. Gingerly, he allows the Wasp to fly off into oblivion and I a sigh in relief !!

Though I'm tempted to kiss him for his rescue mission, I'm Much More tempted to hit him hard for his ceaseless jokes at my morbidly embarrassing freak out session. :p