Thursday, March 27, 2008

Gravity wants to bring me down

So apparently I'm in the beginning stages of tendonitis. Any length of activity with my hands - typing, guitar, piano, carrying anything - triggers a large amount of pain in my arms that continues throughout the next 2 or 3 days. Today I brought a tray of coffees for some friends in class and I had to switch hands 5 times over the 3-minute walk. I've put off getting groceries for weeks 'cause I can't possibly survive a bus ride home while carrying grocery bags.

I'm just bummed - I'm so busy, and finally my plans are coming together for my summer - and they may all be for nothing, if I can't continue in the job(s) I have. I have a job that pays the bills, and from my limited point of view, it is absolutely necessary that I control this flare-up and get my arms back to normal before the summer... because I can't afford not to work there.

Trying to remember to trust in the Lord - I know that he has the best plan for me, and just 'cause I think this job is crucial doesn't mean that he thinks so. He may want me somewhere else, and he will take care of me no matter how poor I get, or if I have to put off school for a year, or finally delve into debt. I am just disappointed; I wanted to make sure to pull my weight and contribute to my future (with R) by not having debt, and by having a well-paying job and some savings. I am discouraged.