Pleiadian Message for January 23, 2016: Rise and Shine.

Message from Scarborough (Master Sarah)

Greetings Starseeds and Enlightened Ones, and to those of you newly awakened ones, we welcome you to your newly created paradigm. It is with great love and admiration, and, yes, even pride, that we, your Ascended Masters, Master Teachers, Angelic Guardians, Star Families and Loved Ones keep watch over you. Although you are in the very early stages (and in varied states of awareness) it is quite clear to us that the majority of your human collective consciousness is on the rise. Sixty-four percent (for those of you who prefer numbers) of your human population is now fully grounded in 5D consciousness and maintaining this vibration quite steadily. That is very good news for Earth and humanity, and we, your Pleiadian brothers and sisters celebrate this victory, for it ensures the evolution of your planet and race into a more peaceful way of being and interacting with one another.

Congratulations to all of you, the Enlightened Ones who have served as the embodied master teachers and wayshowers, empaths, messenger and healers, and the starseeds who have accepted and are now fulfilling or moving into their missions to facilitate the necessary changes that will free the rest of humanity from debt slavery and elitist fear-based control systems. You have all worked so very hard to awaken and evolve into higher consciousness, and we applaud your efforts because we know exactly how much you have struggled with fear, self-doubt, criticism, judgments, accusations and financial setbacks to get where you are. Many of you had to sacrifice everything you thought you knew and everyone you thought you loved as you shed your skin along the way, and we know this was a painful process for you. It is never easy, but it is worth it, and we encourage those of you still struggling to simply let go of the old paradigm, for it is crumbling quickly now, and it is time to focus your collective consciousness toward creating a new Earth that honors all beings and Mother Earth equally with abundance, peace, love and harmony.

The main point we want to address with you today is your “state of wait.” Remember that everything is energy. EVERYTHING. Even consciousness is energy. And when you are in a “state of wait,” you create a specific energy that keeps everything you’re trying to manifest at bay. When you maintain the “wait and see” approach, you are literally pressing the “hold” button on manifestation.

We’re sure that you have all boiled water at some point in your existence on Earth, and you have probably noticed that it “seems to” boil much faster when you turn your attention to another task than it does when you stand and watch it. That is because standing, watching, waiting… you are prolonging progress with your state of wait. This is literally an energy you create that makes progress take longer. Remember that TIME is an illusion. TIME moves much faster when you let go of expectations and anticipation in the manifestation process. In other words, if you light a fire under a pot or kettle of water, you KNOW eventually that water IS going to come to a boil. If you turn your attention to another task during the process, the process “seems to” take less time. That is because you are not hovering with expectation and anticipation. You’ve moved your energy toward another task of preparing or doing, moving your consciousness and energy forward. If, in the time you wait for the water to boil, you busy yourself with the necessary slicing and dicing of ingredients that are to go into the boiling water, dinner is served that much faster, is it not?

While it is true that everything is energy and that there is a process or order in which that energy must be applied to manifest your desired results, it is also true that the process will take much less time to manifest those results if you move on with the other necessary tasks or preparation to bring it all to fruition. We encourage you to understand that this process is very much the same with manifesting progressive change on Earth. You can light the fire under the pot of water with your thoughts and feelings. For example, many of you want global peace on Earth. And a lot needs to happen in order to facilitate the changes necessary to make that a reality. But standing around “waiting” for it to happen after you have meditated on it, wished for it, prayed for it and envisioned it (lit the fire, so to speak) will only prolong it. Especially if you are waiting for that change to come from the top or from the heavenly skies. We’re sorry to tell you that it just doesn’t happen that way, and if you remain in a state of wait for it to happen that way, then you are actually creating the very expectation or anticipation energy that holds peace on Earth at bay – just the same as hovering over the pot of water in anticipation for it to boil. Yes, peace WILL come to Earth just as the water will boil because so many people on Earth WANT peace, but the problem is that not enough are moving forward with tasks and preparation that create that peace.

HOW TO CREATE PEACE ON EARTH

Create peace within yourself. Forgive others, forgive yourself. Let go of all anger, fear, worry and doubt. Release all grievances. This can take years or minutes. It is really up to you and how serious you are about mastering that 3D/4D fear-based human ego that likes to keep you down. It all begins with YOU and your well-being.

Create peace with others. Human egos clash often. Be aware of this and extend the olive branch in those moments in which human ego creates conflict. Each one of you is under pressure to release the old and embrace the new, but keep in mind that many fear change and the uncertainty of the future. Practice patience, compassion, empathy and forgiveness with those whose human egos are acting out in fear-based behavior (which includes anger or is fueled by it).

Advocate for peace. Regardless of your role in life, always advocate for peace and harmony over conflict, be it physical, verbal, emotional, or mental, personal or political. Even if you are a warrior soul type (military, police, athletics, etc.) you have incarnated on Earth at this time to promote peace and to stand up to those who have kept your planet gridlocked in duality and polarity for centuries. Your mission is to protect your planet and her inhabitants from those who create wars and destruction and deplete your planet’s natural resources for their personal gain. Your mission is to arrest those above you who implement corruption as a means to strip the human race of their personal rights and freedoms. Your mission is to protect the innocent beings on your planet who suffer endlessly and needlessly at the hands of your corrupt controllers. Your mission is to bring peace to your planet with the gifts and skills you have been given and have worked so hard to develop. If you are a diplomatic soul type, lobby for peace. If you are an artist soul type, create work that invokes peace, love and harmony. If you are a teacher, profess and exemplify peace and harmony.

Peacefully participate. In all you do, remain harmonious and peaceful. In so doing, you set a vibrational tone. Remember that a lot of the chaos and discord on Earth is merely illusion. The sky is not falling. All war/violence shown to you by your news media is contrived. They created Hollywood, dear one. Don’t be fooled by special effects and crisis actors. Remember that those who wish to keep you under their control feed off your fear-based vibrations. As long as you are somewhat fearful, you cannot ascend, and they manipulate your consciousness levels and personal vibration with their false-flag operations. If you do not react to their grandiose tactics to make you believe you are in danger or that you must comply to their commands, then you are no longer in their control. Remember that it will take all 64 percent of you peacefully participating on Earth to sway the remaining 36 percent of humanity to do the same. So it is time to peacefully participate – without anger or trepidation. Without quoting scripture that your controllers wrote themselves centuries ago. Of COURSE their prophecies APPEAR to be coming to fruition. That is all part of their plan. Understand that it is the illusion they created and peacefully help others understand it as well without investing any emotional energy into your presentation or discussion. Encourage those emotionally invested to unplug and prepare for peace by peacefully participating. (Light the fire under the pot of water and peacefully prepare your ingredients instead of expectantly watching and waiting for the water to boil, dear ones.)

Teach peace. Whether you are a literal teacher (in a learning environment) or not, you are always teaching. No matter what role you play in your career or at home, there is always someone watching you and learning from you in everything you do. Even if it is your pet. This is why it is so very important to peacefully lead by example. If you succeed in steps one and two, creating peace within yourself and with others, and you are peacefully participating in life by not emotionally investing yourself into the drama of others, then you’re already teaching and leading by example, and we encourage you to look for more opportunities to share these gifts within your community. Whether its volunteering to be a buddy or a coach of some kind to youngsters or serving on a board or committee that serves your community or region in some way doesn’t matter. Big or small, when the majority of the collective peacefully participates and teaches peace, your energy is shared and peace is promoted to others in a way that feels positive and uplifting, and this inspires others to hop on the peace train.

Become peace. Once you have mastered these steps, your personal vibration will match that of “peace,” and you will become peace. When you become peace, you attract peace and you create peace everywhere you go.

These steps are as simple or as complicated as you allow your human ego to make them out to be for you. If you find it “too difficult,” or “impossible,” ask yourself why. Write down your reasons. Now you have your list of what you need to forgive yourself and others for. Good start! You’re ready to begin changing the world by changing yourself. And you are the ones you are waiting for to become that change you wish to see in the world. When you release the expectation and anticipation and the state of wait by moving forward with the process of creating peace, you manifest global peace much quicker.

We share this with you because we know so many of you still believe you have to wait for the governments and world leaders to make or declare peace. Still others are waiting for some special “event” that has been promised to you (for several Earth years) by a number of self-proclaimed “lightworkers” who have duped you into believing they have more privileged information than the rest of you, keeping you in this state of wait that puts everything you wish to create on hold.

Trust your own inner eternal wisdom now and know that YOU are the ones you have been waiting for and that YOU are the ones with the power to raise the vibration and consciousness levels on your planet simply by moving into the mode of peacemaking through the above steps. As you collectively release the expectation and anticipation that this false “event” promise has manipulated you into and move forward with your peacemaking missions and roles, you will soon realize that YOU, as a collective peaceful energy and loving consciousness, ARE “the event.”

Now that you know this truth, go forth and share it with everyone, even those who still slumber, for your calm, cool, collective energy is power.

How do you know you have a very powerful twin-flame connection in a dualistic universe? When others are constantly getting in the way and making low-down dirty attempts to keep you apart.

Playing with fire.

When people will say anything and do anything — cross ethical and spiritual boundaries, even — to make sure you and your twin flame will never, ever reunite, you know you have a very powerful connection. One that endures all the adversity. One that laughs in the face of these petty little pawns and rooks who think they can somehow undo the connection or diminish the power with futile schemes and manipulative games.

Red-hot spiritual agenda.

Twin flame soul mates don’t incarnate together to have a hot and steamy love affair or the ultimate romantic relationship. They have been together for eons. Yes, they have a very deep, emotional soul connection, but it’s more than just that, even. They’re here with an agenda. A spiritual agenda. One that tests traditions and blasts social boundaries to smithereens. One that challenges humanity to expand their comfort zones and open their hearts.

For my twin flame and me, our agenda has always been to challenge social norms in the relationship department. In other lives, we’ve been interracial couples and same-sex lovers. And yes, we’ve even died for our cause. My twin flame and I have been murdered numerous times for our “forbidden love.” But when one is left incarnate to mourn the loss, we’ve never lost our connection. Through all the pain and turmoil, we are still bound, eternally and faithfully, by an undying, unconditional love. That is our promise to one another as light beings and physical beings. We are attached by silver cords and gold cords that can never be severed. Believe me. I know. I have tried.

Now why would I want to do that, you ask? Well, until I understood these cords could never be cut, I thought I could ceremoniously sever the energetic cords that bound us to stop the deep, constant pain of being separate. A spirit guide then approached and said, “No. Stop trying. It cannot be done.” And that’s when I learned of the silver (past life) and gold (spiritual attainment) cords that bind us as soul mates. And, still later, I learned we’re not just soul mates, but twin-flame soul mates, which is even more powerful.

Scorching synchronicity.

Just how powerful is this connection? Imagine every place you go, you get a synchronistic reminder. Maybe, as your mind wanders over memories of times you spent together while you’re driving somewhere, a song from that exact time (four years ago) suddenly plays on your favorite Top 40 radio station, and a car just like your twin flame’s pulls out in front of you or is driving toward you. It could be as subtle as that. Or it could be way more “in your face.”

For example, when I was dating someone new, who actually knew my twin flame and the make, model and color of the car she drove, we were both a bit freaked out when we walked back to her truck to find the same make, model and color car parked next to hers, TWICE, in two different locations ON THE SAME NIGHT. After that, whenever we were together, we saw at least one car exactly like my twin flame’s either on the road or in parking lots.

I began to notice that any time I was dating someone, even though my twin flame and I had been separated for quite some time, that these type of synchronicities — from songs to similar cars to initials on license plates and logos that reminded me of her — would dramatically increase, along with dreams of her, telepathic conversations with her, and sometimes even astral body contact. Of course, nobody believes me, but it all happened. Sometimes even with eye witnesses who would then turn to me in disbelief and say, “My god, she still loves you.”

Just a heartbeat away.

I couldn’t deny that SOMEthing was still there. Whether it was love or just energy, I didn’t know. As cool as it was, it also sometimes felt like torture. I finally decided I needed to ask my Akashic Records about it. This is how the session went on Sunday, January 24, 2010:

Where does the energy come from that creates the synchronicities that remind me of my twin flame when I’m dating or with someone else?

The energy comes from her and your connection to her. It is sparked by thought — jealousy, rage, the desire for power and control. When your twin flame thinks of you with someone else, she wants you to remember her. To think ONLY of HER. She sends out thought patterns that create the synchronicities. It’s a form of psychic vampire-ness. When you are with someone else, it is more prevalent because the thoughts of you with someone else are torturing her mind. When you are not with someone, she relaxes and the patterns slow, so it is just telepathy you share.

So she creates these things with her mind alone?

Yes.

What are the things I am seeing and hearing — are they really taking place, or are they holograms?

Holograms? No. These things actually manifest. If they were holograms, your friends would not be able to see them.

How does my twin flame actually have the power to manifest these things into reality?

She is powerful. She will get what she wants. That is not to say she goes about it in the right or appropriate way. She has tons of magic up her sleeve. This is why she gets the women and keeps them attracted to her. She is enjoying the power trip. This is why you need to stay quiet.

Stay quiet with the telepathy, too?

Not necessarily. The telepathy being exchanged is with her higher self. It is better for you to communicate with her this way than in the physical. Keep her ego out of it. She is on an ego trip when she does these things.

Is she aware that she is doing it?

She is aware of what she wishes, but she can’t possibly know the results.

So, if I were not connected to her, then I would probably not experience the synchronicities?

True. Correct. Your connection to her is not one that can be closed or cut off, however. You are connected by silver cords and gold cords that keep your souls connected, always/forever.

What about the astral travel? Is that real?

Between the two of you? Of course. You’re travelers, and this is something the two of you do well together. It is why she equates to Superman — all the flying dreams she has. They are not dreams. They are actually journeys your souls take together when your astral bodies are free from ego. But this is why she identifies with Superman. The flying. The two of you have been doing this together for many, many eons — in and out of physical incarnation. It is what you will do together when you reunite, too. In many aspects, your souls will “fly.”

Why can I not feel her as strongly or see her astral body like I used to?

Her energy has been weakened by stress, prescription pain medications and sleep aids. They’re weighing her down. It will change when you’re back together. Healing will take place and medications will no longer be needed.

How can I believe in the telepathic messages she sends me when she says one thing and shows another?

You are connected to her higher self. The lower self is the one who is doing the opposite of what her higher self is saying to you.

Will they ever merge and be the same person?

Yes, of course. This is what you’re all striving for. It’s in that final lesson she will learn from the spell-caster’s descendent that she will find her higher self. You have no reason to doubt or be disappointed.

How will I ever be able to date or have a relationship with anyone without my twin flame’s energy interfering?

Why would you want to when you love her? When your heart is WITH HER?

Because I’m still not sure WHEN she’ll come around.

She’ll come around soon enough that you don’t need to worry about dating anyone else.

But I’m lonely.

How? She is right there, always a breath away. Just a heartbeat away. You will notice when she’s there with you. You hear a double heartbeat. That is her. Right there with you. There is no reason to doubt. She’s always been there. Even before you knew her or she knew you in this life. You are twin soul mates. It is like you are sharing the same womb.

So it is okay for me to continue assuring her I love her?

Absolutely! That’s what we mean by “holding the light.” She comes to you because she is seeking to be with you.

Even though she’s with someone else?

Yes. We told you. This woman she is with is nothing. Not a threat. Just a pawn. Your twin flame’s lower and higher selves both want you. That is their common bond. Her energy will never leave you. Not even in death. She wants to be with you. She tells you that over and over again. Do us ALL a favor and BELIEVE her. She travels to you every night to be with you — even when she is laying next to that other woman. Her heart is with YOU. Her soul is with YOU. Her BODY is misplaced at the moment, but will soon follow her heart and soul. No worries. When the time is right, she will return.

I have more questions about the synchronicities she manifests into reality. Is she literally thinking, “Make her see a car like mine,” or “Play this song on the radio now?” Is that how it works?

No. Not exactly. She might picture something in her mind, like driving past you. Or she may be thinking of a song that she wants you to hear, or even just thinking of a song that reminds her how she feels about you or the situation, and then it will play for you.

Resistance is futile.

Although part of me wants to chalk all this up to coincidence or “just my imagination,” the simple truth of the matter is that it’s not. All of this is really happening, and still happening, on a very regular basis. As much as I would like to walk away from it all, and just start a brand new life in a new town where no one knows me at all, I know in my heart the efforts would not change anything. This is why I choose to believe…and trust…and continue to have faith that one day we will be together again. Until then, the situation just really sucks. Well, for me anyway. Especially with all the games being played by manipulative souls who haven’t a clue what they’re dealing with. I know my lesson to learn is to not let ego freak out about these games, but, of course, being human in 3D density makes that a bit difficult 99 percent of the time. I suppose the day that I can observe another attempt by a dark soul to keep us apart and not react to it or worry about it will be the day that I graduate — in faith — to the next level. Believe me, I am looking forward to that day.

Reversing a curse is no small task. And one of this magnitude, that has affected generations of families for over a century and requires what seems like a miracle to lift it…wow. I just don’t even know what to say about it, to be honest. Why I would get involved with something like this is beyond me. All I can say is that my higher self must be one tough, badass bitch who doesn’t back down or take no for an answer. Especially when I just have to sit here and watch it all play out.

In it to win it

Oh, you don’t know how many times I have quit. I’ve screamed. I’ve cursed. I’ve beat myself up. I’ve even hated myself for this. I’ve begged for an early exit. Beam me up. Let me go! I just can’t DO this anymore. It is NOT AT ALL easy. But I know I have to stay here and see it through. I have to somehow hold light. Send light. Forget the pain of it all as I wait…wait…wait…and wait some more. And fucking BELIEVE. Yeah. BELIEVE in her…somehow…some way…I still have to trust and believe. Even though everything I SEE does not jive with what my records say. It’s gut wrenching. It’s heart wrenching. At times, it’s even faith wrenching.

I’m no Jedi. And even Luke Skywalker had doubts, right? Even after Yoda raised his ship out of the swamp, Skywalker said: “I don’t believe it.”

And Yoda said: “That is why you fail.”

So, yes, I must continue to believe in my twin flame. I must continue to have faith she will follow through. That is my role in this soul contract. Fortunately, with the combined strength of the Akashic Records, supportive lightworker friends, and shifting energies, my role is becoming easier these days.

Once more, with purpose

More and more of my surrounding friends understand that we are here to clean up this planet. Not just the physical damage to mother Earth, but the energetic pollution as well. That is why it is so important for my twin flame and I, with a little bit of help from the spell-caster descendant, to reverse this curse.

If you think of the planet as one huge mansion that needs a cleaning that no one team or crew can handle on their own, then you understand the importance that each individual cleans his or her own room, while we come together to clean the common areas. It’s, like, okay, you vacuum the floors, then I’ll mop, and our friend, here, will dust. Make sense? That’s why we have these soul groups with contracts. We accepted the responsibility to clean our specific wing.

Perhaps we were never connected to the families we chose to help with this particular cleanup, but we volunteered, nonetheless. We didn’t count on it being such a dirty job. And that’s just it. When we’re light beings, we’re all knowing. We’re clear on every role we’ve ever played since we began incarnating on this planet. And we’re born knowing, too. But the density of this 3D world makes us quickly forget. We always think it will be SO EASY. But it never is. And we have to find our way…over and over again.

Stop thinking; start feeling.

Fortunately, we’re all born with an internal compass. Our heart. And I’m not talking about the organ in our chest that pumps blood. I’m talking about our energetic heart chakra. The heart of our soul. Now, if we could just STOP THINKING and rely on our hearts, we would all be on our well-lighted spiritual paths.

And that’s ALL it’s going to take to reverse this curse. At least, that is what my Akashic Records say. Repeatedly. Check it out:

Akashic Record Journal Entry February 10, 2010

What is the final lesson my twin flame needs to learn from the descendant of the spell casters?

The lesson she is to learn is not complex. It is a simple one, indeed. It is her lower self that is making this lesson difficult. Logic is getting in the way of the heart. She is not following her heart. She is afraid to follow her heart.

So the lesson she needs to learn is to follow her heart and not her head?

Exactly.

How can we ever get her to do that?

“WE” cannot. It has to be her own realization. Her own desire. She has to find her own way.

How, though? What needs to happen for her to realize this?

Once again, she will suffer great loss. That is what it takes for people to finally wake up. It takes great loss for people to have a new outlook on life — to appreciate it more — to try to find meaning in it all.

Akashic Record Journal Entry April 7, 2o10

What is my twin flame’s purpose to the descendant of the spell casters?

To provide her with the opportunity to teach your twin flame the lesson she needs to learn to release the Karmic debt for the spell caster family.

What is the lesson she will teach my twin flame?

To follow her heart — back to you.

How will that help release the spell-caster family’s Karmic debt?

The spell-caster family will finally be sending the Freer family LOVE instead of darkness and hate. This act — this sacrifice — releases the curse.

So the spell-caster descendant must have entered this soul contract with us, is that correct?

She did. She agreed to it.

So it is all predetermined?

Yes.

Any of us could opt out at any time, though, correct?

Deal breakers will only cause more pain, trouble, darkness and despair.

What can I do to ensure this all comes through as planned?

Have faith and hold the light for your twin flame. And her girlfriend. Trust that they will follow through. Keep talking to your twin flame. You both have this telepathic gift for a reason.

But only her higher self hears me.

It all downloads eventually. The stronger and more frequent the communication, the faster it will download. Things will all work out. She hears you. She just thinks it’s her imagination right now.

That you understand why she’s with the spell-caster family’s descendant. That you know it’s all part of the plan. That you trust her. That you love her. That you know she will return when the time is right. She needs this reassurance. She needs to know you believe in her. You can’t be angry at her for this. You have to let go of the anger and the hurt. This is what you all agreed to. Accept it. She’ll be back.

You have work to do together. Remember that. This blissful reunion between you and your twin flame will provide you with the power to be the word + the vision. Never forget that. It is YOUR purpose, once the two of you are together.

More on this word + vision business

Friday, January 22, 2010

Why would my twin flame return to me?

You’re stable. That’s what she needs in a relationship. In a partnership. Stability. You will nurture her. You will help her grow. The spell-caster descendant cannot help her do that. Not spiritually. And this is where we need you — where the Universe needs you — to help your twin flame grow spiritually so the two of you can fulfill your prophecy together.

What is our prophecy?

The spiritual truth. The word + the vision. That is you and her. You are the word. She is the vision.

Okay, but what are we to do, exactly?

Words + Vision = Truth. The Cancer and the Aquarian. She needs you. You are her Mary Magdalene.

[Author’s note: I know, I know. Insert SNORT, here. Eye rolls. I did the same thing. Ugh, puhleeeze! This is what prompted my next sarcastic question…]

And she is Jesus? [Eye rolls]

Something like that.

The Age of Aquarius? The New Age. Is she the Moses/Jesus of the New Age? [Author’s note: I later learned this is also known as the era of “Christ consciousness,” which is for all of us to obtain, not just a select few. It IS a matter of choice, however. And, no, you don’t have to be “Christian” or belong to a “Christian” church to
obtain it.]

You both are. You both will be. Leaders of the New Age.

But we’re such peons.

No. Not even close. Royalty. Light royalty. Remember, Jesus was the son of a carpenter and a carpenter himself. He was a simple man who taught the simple truth. You are the teacher. She is the illustrator. Together, your message will reach MILLIONS. You cannot do this without each other. You NEED each other.

What if she doesn’t believe it?

You’re not the one who will convince her. Remember, we told you, this isn’t your fight. She will come around when she is ready.

Well, she did say years ago that we would make a great team.

As business partners. This is so much more than that. This is global, New Age stuff. This is the ESSENCE of what 2012 is all about.

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

I know people will read this and think, “She’s out of her mind! Call the little white truck.”

That’s okay. Won’t be the first time folks have said this about me. What’s important now is that I’m surrounded by true friends who say, “Makes sense to me! What can I do to help?”

My response: Don’t let me give up.

I came here with a purpose. I remember who I am. I know who my twin flame is. I know what kind of power we possess when we are united. We are magical. And together we can help heal the world. Pray for us to reunite, and we will show you.

Awakening to purpose

I quickly discovered that opening the spiritual door is like opening a dam. Holy shit! Talk about a floodgate of information. I’ve always had a very strong sense of clairaudience, which Merriam-Webster defines as: the power or faculty of hearing something not present to the ear but regarded as having objective reality.

I’ve been hearing spirits, guides, angels, etc., all my life. Kind of creepy at times, but I’m used to it these days, and I’ve learned it’s usually just a spirit asking for acknowledgment or help. Sometimes I acknowledge them. Sometimes I don’t. It all depends on their attitude. If they are dark or negative, I burn a little white copal, and call in Archangel Michael to assist. If it’s something I feel I can handle on my own, I engage in conversation. After all, it’s what I’m here to do, and I accept that now, with a sense of duty.

Despite being used to “hearing the call,” so to speak, I was still surprised on January 20, 2010, when the Akashic Records summoned ME.

Hearing the call

It was a day like too many before it. I woke sometime around 9 AM, and leisurely surfed the ‘net while I sipped my morning coffee until I was motivated to make myself breakfast. Ah, the life of being unemployed. While standing at the kitchen sink, a thought crossed my mind about the hometown of my twin flame’s new girlfriend. It was the same as my father’s, and most people usually claimed the closest larger city as their hometown rather than this tiny little burg. It made me wonder…and as soon as I started to, I heard the clippity-clop of horseshoes and the rattle of the antique wheels of a horse-drawn wagon. Black and white images of a pre-automobile era flooded my minds eye. What the — ?

“Open your records, and we will fill you in,” a familiar voice of the Akashic Records said.

Wow, I thought. They don’t mess around!

Disclaimer

I could go on and on here about my beliefs and doubts regarding spells and curses and black magic to try to save face and credibility and all that, but, you know what? After years of being made fun of and laughed at…I really don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore. I’ve experienced enough darkness in my life to know that negative energy DOES exist, and whether it was created by a spell, hex, curse, or powerful ill wishing doesn’t matter. The simple truth is that we are ALL made up of both light and dark energy. We may gravitate toward one or the other from life to life, depending on the circumstances and our soul contracts before we incarnated. It’s almost like choosing your character before starting one of those quest games — whether it’s a video or board game, they’re all kind of similar. You choose your characteristics — strengths, weaknesses, powers — and you play a role. And, once you’re in the game…shit happens, right? So let’s just look at it that way.

We all know that the current era we’ve been living in is one of polarity. Duality. Light versus dark. And some may even say positive versus negative. Fine. There are others out there who say there is neither good nor bad, only light or dark, love or fear. That’s a nice, neutral way of looking at it. If you can stay neutral in the density of duality, that is. Most of us living in the 3D world find this difficult. We want to take sides. Let me say this right now: I’m not asking you to. I am simply sharing the information provided to me by my Akashic records regarding these two families my soul group and I came here to assist. Not so much to save the families from the darkness that plagues them, but more so to clean up the negative energy emanating from them that is polluting the planet. There are huge crews of lightworkers here on Earth at the moment who have committed to do just that — transmute dark energy to light. The key point to remember here is that no one is going to do it for us. WE have to remember who we are, why we’re here, and follow through in cleaning up the manmade messes we promised, as light beings, to purify so that we can move into the new era all shiny and squeaky clean.

Okay, hopping off my soapbox now. On with My Akashic Journey…

Forgive them; they know not what they do

Here is how the reading began (I have replaced the name of the actual black magic family with “spell casters” and the name of my twin flame with “twin flame”)…

Akashic Records journal entry date: January 20, 2010

Okay, so you have summoned me to open my records today. Can you please tell me why?

There is nothing to fear. You are a seeker of truth. We know you can handle this, as you have always KNOWN the truth. Yes, the Freer side of your family has been under a curse. A curse that goes back to your great grandfather on the Freer side of the family. Your mother mentioned this curse to your empath coach Michael.

[Author’s note: In the summer of 2009, I began working with an empath coach. Before our sessions he would go into deep trance to access information about what energies I needed to clear. In one particular session, he surprised me by saying that my mother (in spirit at the time) contacted him and told him about this dark, negative energy that had plagued my father’s side of the family for generations and caused great depression among all the descendants of that particular couple. It was unknown, at that time, where the energy originated, but Michael said it was through no fault of their own.]

The Freer family had great pride in themselves. The spell-caster family did not. They go back with roots and ties in and around your father’s hometown. This is a Pagan/Christian war, yes. But it’s deeper than that. There was conflict between the two families. The great grandfathers. Over land and horses. The Freers spit on the spell casters for their refusal to believe in God. The spell casters did not believe in God. They believed in witchcraft. The dark kind. How do you think they got their name? This is why we told you that your twin flame’s girlfriend was dark. She comes from a long line of darkness. Black magic. Your twin flame is in danger.

How do I help her?

You can’t. This is NOT YOUR FIGHT. This is your twin flame’s fight.

You will win because you believe in God, a higher power, and the light. You are OF the light. You have battled your family curse and won. You have broken the spell against you cast by the dark family through the help of Michael. Be grateful for Michael. He DID help you. He will continue to help you by holding you in prayer.

A psychic friend recently told me “Things are not as they seem regarding your beliefs.” What did that mean, exactly?

It meant that she doesn’t know anything about you. You were shielded by the light so she could not look inside. You are a tough one for psychics to read because you are so guarded. By royalty. AS royalty. Light royalty. A long line of lightworker descendants. Your Uncle Clare, he recognized himself as a lightworker. He was the only one who got close to breaking the spell. He recognized it in you, too. Your Uncle Jim saw it, too, at your mom’s funeral. The ones in the Freer family who mock are still afflicted by the curse and the darkness.

So what does ANY of this have to do with my twin flame being with this spell-caster descendant? I mean, if the curse was broken…why would my twin flame get into a relationship with her?

This is Universal Karmic payback to the spell-caster family.

Something doesn’t feel right about this.

The records are open, and this is truth.

Why am I feeling discomfort in my heart chakra?

It’s a lot to take in. That is why we are trying to simplify it; to avoid the massive discomfort information like this can sometimes create. It is never fun to learn of family disputes, feuds, wars, and curses. There is some residual negativity floating around — hooks in your aura from the pain the curse has caused and also the pain of your twin flame being with the dark one. For now. It’s not forever; it will only last as long as your twin flame allows darkness to overcome her.

Does my twin flame’s girlfriend know about this feud/”curse?”

No. It died with her great grandmother. The spell casters were younger than your great grandparents. A foolish young couple playing with witchcraft fire. They did not understand how their actions would affect generations of descendants with this powerful curse. You’ve known about the curse for quite some time now. You joked, but deep down, you knew it was true. The spell casters hold a powerful dark energy. Freers were of the light, but shrouded in darkness until now. Your willingness to be born into and fight for this family has brought great light. First you fought the battle withIN the family. Then you fought the battle AGAINST the family — with the help of your mother and Michael. Saint Paul. Look him up. He once was on the dark side and moved to the light. Saint Paul is not a reference to your brother — it’s you. You moved the family from the dark to the light by lifting the curse. With the assistance of your mom and Michael. You’re a lightworker soul who accepted this challenge for the greater good. Not just for your own soul, but for the family. This is why you are light royalty. You will be rewarded for it — after Karmic Justice is served.

Your twin flame accepted this challenge, too, because she, too, is a lightworker soul. She knows her assignment, and it is a safe one for her to complete now that the Karmic energy has been released. She will not incur Karmic debt.

This could have been accomplished as early as January of 2000 — ten years ago [when Archangel Zadkiel said Karma had been lifted from the planet].

There was still too much residual Karma floating around. It wasn’t safe or wise at the time.

So will my twin flame hurt the spell-caster descendant?

No. She will learn her last lesson FROM the spell-caster descendant.

I guess I don’t understand how that will serve Karmic Justice. Can you explain it to me?

All souls are working together to push each other closer to the light. The spell-caster family owes you. The spell-caster descendant will teach your twin flame her last lesson that will send her home to you. Remember, this is not your fight. Just hold the light.

Wrestling with the dark

As you can see, it’s been nearly a year since that reading. While I’ve been trying my damnedest to “just hold the light,” it hasn’t been easy. Not in this dense, 3D environment where it seems darkness is growing ever more vicious as we lightworkers wrestle in vain to illuminate the planet with love and light through forgiveness, prayer, faith, hope and optimistic affirmations.

Many times I have felt like just giving up. My twin flame is still stuck in her patterns, and I cannot break through due to the rule that I am not allowed to contact her. It feels much like being bound and gagged while I watch her being tortured. I am powerless, and I often wonder, WHY did I choose this? I came here with a Karmic balance of zero. No debt at all. She came with a heavy load. I did not have to incarnate, but we chose to do this thing together, to allow her the chance to pay her Karmic debts and to assist in the cleansing of the planet and reuniting our twin-flame soul-mate energy to help raise the vibrations for the new era and help heal those who find this awakening painful.

New age spiritualists and channelers say that, with this flood of new energy that has showered our planet through the 11.11.11 and 12.12.11 portals, we will ALL begin to awaken and remember who we are, who we’ve been, and why we are here. I have awakened early to be a “wayshower” for those who are just now beginning to rouse. Don’t hate. It’s no easy job. But I chose to do it, before I ever incarnated, and I am a keeper of my word, so I will honor it by holding light and love and faith that we will ALL follow through with our promises.

Don’t you hate it when all you want is the truth and NO ONE can give it to you?

From February 2007 through January 2010, I was on a god damn mission and hell bent to find answers. Before that, I was just sleepwalking through life, content to have a job, personal transportation, a loving life partner, a roof over our heads, two cute chihuahuas and some enjoyable hobbies. I mean, after all, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?

Well, in February 2007, my mom and best friend in life lost her battle with lung cancer. In her defense, I must say, she never once smoked a cigarette. She hated cigarette smoke, but, in the end, her exposure to secondhand smoke is ultimately what claimed her physical body. At the time, I was not fully tuned into my sixth sense gifts. I knew they were there, but allowed them to lay dormant most of the time. The day of my mother’s death, I held her hand and told her she could visit me anytime. I was not afraid. And I hoped she would visit me in my dreams. Which she did. Early and often. But she also visited me in my fully awakened state, too. Of course, most people don’t believe that, but that’s okay. I know what I have seen, heard and felt, and that is all that matters.

Rediscovering and exploring my gifts

Being in contact with my mother — and, eventually, HER mother, as well — on a daily basis set me into research mode. I read the works of psychic mediums. I played with pendulums and Tarot cards. I tried all kinds of divination tools. I found most of them to be somewhat accurate, but not all that user friendly. Plus, there was that “gypsy” and “witch” stigma attached to them. And I’m so NOT a gypsy. Nor am I a witch. But I was still interested in the “why” and the “how” of these extrasensory gifts.

When I was a child, my mother often described me as “perceptive” and “sensitive” when it came to my empath nature. She knew that I knew things that most ordinary kids didn’t know. I never really told her about the things I saw. Spirits in the woods and shit like that. Somehow I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I told her anyway. In fact, I told no one about any of it. Ever.

Finding and losing my twin flame

Shortly after my mother died, in the spring of 2007, I met someone unlike any other person I’d ever encountered in my life. The first time our eyes met, a blinding light flashed in hers. It was so bright, and so startling, I immediately looked away. And I thought, did that just happen? For real? It seemed so…ScyFy. Fear of the unknown prompted me to avoid her as much as possible the first few weeks that I knew her. It wasn’t easy, since we were playing on the same softball team and running with the same crowd. Not to mention that the attraction was crazy magnetic. Unusual, magical things happened when I was nowhere near her, too, that I just knew and felt were related to my connection with her, although we had not even officially “connected” at this point, if you know what I mean. I never mentioned this stuff to her because, really, how do you explain the unexplainable?

It wasn’t until she first uttered the term “forever love” and I saw this amazing dance of colors in her eyes that I realized that this is what our connection was. An undeniable, undying, unconditional love that had spanned many lifetimes. And, of course, I argued there could not possibly be any such thing. I was 36 years old, after all, and I had already had three long-term relationships. Head took over heart with a literal interpretation. Fear triggered resistance.

Eventually, and inevitably, a romance did blossom, but it was short lived. Despite our separation, I still felt strongly connected. Several months later, we tried to reconnect, but failed miserably. It didn’t make sense. Especially since, even years afterward, I still felt as strongly connected as I did in the summer of 2007. It just wouldn’t die. And no other relationship afterward worked because of it. And still won’t. From almost two years ago, when I first began my Akashic journey, to this very day, which I will note is December 21, 2011. Winter solstice. One year outside the dawn of the new era — Winter Solstice 2012.

Loss, loss and more loss

After these two devastating losses, I truly felt I had nothing more to live for. I had no purpose in life. I’d lost most of my friends, as well. I had tried to express myself in blogs, but that only led to more and more chiding and gossiping among my social circle which left me with nowhere to turn. Except inward. Which, in retrospect, is probably the best thing that could ever happen.

Through deep study, I learned more about past lives, soul groups, soul mates and soul contracts than I could have ever imagined. And then, after a month of reading How to Read the Akashic Records, I decided, after a lot of stops and starts and much struggle and panic and tears, that it was just time to let go of all of this. No matter what I felt, I just had to accept that whatever the Akashic Records said as my personal truth. Even if it meant giving up on my true love.

My personal truth and purpose

I have pages and pages of handwritten journals full of recorded sessions of my time spent in the Akashic Records. Yes, I could literally write a book. To put it in the simplest terms, I got way more than I bargained for. I learned I was right about some things, and I learned I was wrong about many more.

First and foremost, I learned that I have been right all along about the forever love, twin-flame, sacred-union soul mate thing. And I learned I was wrong about no longer having a purpose once I lost her and my mother. The truth is, I chose to incarnate into this particular life at this particular time with MANY soul contracts.

The first soul contract was made over 700 years ago with a ring of 499 other light beings, Pleiadian in origin, to incarnate into physical beings on planet Earth to help raise the vibrations over a course of many lifetimes and incarnations. My Akashic Records say that I have incarnated 39 times, 37 times as a human being on the planet Earth. My twin-flame soul mate and I have incarnated together all 37 times, in soul contract with one another.

My Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones of my personal records have confirmed this fact through a personal friend of mine. She contacted me the day after I first opened my records and asked if they had anything to do with numbers. When I asked why she posed that question, she told me that when she was napping the day before, her dreams kept being interrupted by a piece of notebook paper on which the message 37 Akashic Record Jen appeared. She said this happened at least five times throughout her dream sequence. When I asked the records what the significance was, they said it was their way of confirming not only that number of lifetimes was true, but that the records, in case I had any doubt, were very, very real.

My soul contract for this life was made with several other light beings, and that was to help two families overcome the negative energy cast onto one by the other. This “curse” has affected one family for several generations. It took me a long time to piece this one together, but, once the records showed me the several “ah ha” moments throughout my lifetime leading up to this truth, it all made sense. The physical family I belong to in this lifetime is the one affected by the “curse.” My twin-flame soul mate is currently involved with a member of the family that cast the dark spell that has not only caused turmoil for the family I chose to help, but has also deeply affected the descendants of the family of the casters even worse.

The spell that was cast specified that all the men in the family I am helping would never, ever be successful in life. It has inflicted generations of depression, physical abuse, alcoholism and personal failure. For the family of the spell casters, it has tortured them with incurable disease, learning disabilities, dyslexia and poverty. The negative energy that stems from both of these families is vast, as everyone they come in contact with is affected by it. This is why my soul group chose to assist this particular “family feud” as their cleanup project. Some of the participants in this cleanup are members of my Pleaidian Ring of 500, while others are not.

In theory, what needs to happen here is for the individual in the spell-caster family to send love to the affected family in order to heal both. The “love” in this case being my twin-flame soul mate. I am told by the records that the higher selves of all parties involved are fully aware of this agreement and that, upon awakening, this gesture will be made, with blessings, by the involved individual who belongs to the spell-caster family. Then, and only then, will the negative energy afflicting these two families be released.

After my twin flame returns, we will join together as post-2012 healers here on Earth through word and vision.

The waiting game

My records have provided many very specific details regarding everyone involved over the past 23 months, all of which have checked out to be accurate. These little nuggets of information are what keep my faith in my twin flame alive. In my heart, I know she will do the right thing. My head, however, is another story. I hope that one day I can report on the happy ending to the first portion of this soul contract. Until then, I wait for first contact from my twin flame.

This, of course, is just one piece of my story. After living 37 lifetimes here on Earth with 499 dedicated Pleiadian family members, there are many, many more. Stay tuned.

I first learned the term “Akashic Record” about four years ago, when I began studying crystal healing. The term kept appearing in various crystal properties. So, when a friend asked me about them, I knew what they were, but didn’t know how to access them, or why, exactly, I would want to. Shortly after she mentioned the Akashic Records, I began having dreams of my mother (who had crossed over into the spirit world) guiding me through tunnels or down long corridors. Eventually we ended up in some large, open room where the walls were actually enormous screens filled with data. I figured this was my cue to figure out a way to access my personal records.

Before I begin sharing my journey through myAkashic Records, I thought it may be helpful to first explain what they are in the very simplest of terms.

What they are

Maybe it’s best to start with what the Akashic Records are NOT. First, there is no physical place that holds these records. It’s a lot like cyberspace. There’s all this information floating around in cyberspace, but there is no physical place to find it. The only difference is that the records are not kept in online databases. I can’t even tell you where they’re kept. That’s, apparently, spiritually classified information.

In all seriousness, the records are most likely kept with your higher self. (That would be, basically, your “true self,” also known as the light being that you are outside of your physical body, which some folks may refer to as your “soul.”)

So, in the quickest summary possible, the Akashic Records are the archives of every soul and every detail of every physical life that soul has lived, is currently living, and will live. The lords of the Akashic Records and your Masters, Teachers and Loved Ones (MTLOs) are there to help guide you from where they reside. Think of them as your personal Yodas, young Skywalker.

How to access the records

Personally, I use the Pathway Prayer that is provided in the book How to Read the Akashic Records by Linda Howe. However, I have read that we are bumping into our records all the time. Especially in our dreams. This is why we have those “deja vu” moments. Usually, we’ve had a precognition dream (accessed from our records) that has shown us a quick preview of those mind-blowing moments where we swear this has happened before, but it hasn’t. Sound familiar? I’m sure there are other ways to access the Akashic Records, as well, since more and more books and guides are becoming readily available as the levels of consciousness for everyone on the planet are rapidly rising. So, the choice is yours. Howe’s method works wonderfully for me, so I have not tried any other way.

How you know you’re “in”

The first time you open your records, it is recommended you just sit and feel the energy around you. You will notice a subtle, but definite change. For me, it’s like being in a lightly pressurized cabin. Not at all uncomfortable, but definitely noticeable. The first time I opened my personal records, I noticed a vibration that felt something like a deep fog horn sounds, if that makes any sense. It was a gentle, slow, soothing vibration. I felt like I was being swaddled by the most loving, caring beings in the world. You may also notice colors or a light show, similar to the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) while you’re in your records. The communication you receive at first may be by feeling only. Or, if your MTLOs are especially eager to talk to you, (as I have witnessed on more than one occasion while in the records of others) they may speak to you right away. I’ve found, with the records of others, that my timid clients have records that are slow to open and super gentle loved ones come forward. My clients who are excited are often greeted by lively loved ones. I’ve even had to wait while three of them had to come to an agreement on who would speak first, while a fourth tried to skip process and bust on through.

The rules

Though it’s not a game, accessing the Akashic Records does come with a set of rules. For example, records for anyone under the age of 18 may not be accessed. By anyone. There are also rules about what kinds of questions you can ask. For example, “should I,” “when” and yes/no questions are not allowed. That is not to say that recommendations won’t be made, dates won’t be given or that a yes/no question won’t be addressed within the context of the answer of another question that is properly posed according to the rules. I have heard from others and read on blogsites that questions about the future are also prohibited, but this has not stopped me from asking my MTLOs what I can expect from time to time. Or sometimes they just tell me what I can expect, even if I have not asked. It is, however, important to always remember how free will plays a part, moment by moment, and can change everything. This is why it’s important to keep checking in with your MTLOs.

What the records can do for us

The Akashic Records can answer a variety of questions for us, that is true. Questions about past lives or current issues. Whatever causes you the most struggle or strife. Many feel that having these questions answered by their MTLOs has literally changed their lives. It is true that the Akashic Records can bring us great peace. They can also help us remember who we are, why we chose to be here, who we’re in soul contracts with and for what reason, and what we incarnated to accomplish in this life. Our records can offer us comfort and boost confidence and even bring immeasurable amounts of peace to our lives.

If you have any more questions about the Akashic Records, please feel free to ask them below, or send an email to: akashicfreerspirit@gmail.com. I will be happy to answer to the best of my ability. To read more about scheduling an Akashic Reading with me, please visit the Your Akashic Journey section of this blog.

If you’ve not yet discovered the Akashic Records, or not had a reading, NOW is a good time! I began exploring my own Akashic Records in January of 2010. It took me a good month or so to work up the courage to open them. You have to be willing to face the truth, you see. And that means possibly letting go of old patterns, ideas, beliefs, and, yes, sometimes even love.

If you’re into reading the works of spiritualists, you may be finding a common phrase in many of their works:

“Remember who you are.”

Huh?

Yeah. I know. Head scratch. Brow rub. Chin tug.

What does THAT mean?

And then there’s the inevitable pregnant pause…

…super-deep inhale…

and the burning question…

“Who AM I?”

Followed by the even more challenging…

“Why am I here?”

And the ever mind-boggling…

“What is my purpose?”

These are all very good questions for your Akashic Records — the keepers of all the details of every life your soul has ever lived and will live. Or, as some folks believe, all the lives your soul is living right now.

Yes. Simultaneously.

Head scratch.

Brow rub.

Chin tug.

Yeah, I know. Still trying to get my head around that one, myself. I mean, if I’m living several lives at this very moment, then why am I stuck here, in the loneliest, most painful and mundane one, for what seems like eons?

That is also a very good question for your Akashic Records. But, brace yourself! The answer may be loaded with way more WTFs than you ever imagined!

Which always brings you back around to this simple reminder: Remember who you are.

And the answer to that is simple. You are a spiritual light being having a human experience. Or several, even, if you can believe that. Which I do believe probably comes from the theory that there is no past, and there is no future; there is only right now.

And this is where I say, “But right now kinda sucks…”

So I open my Akashic Records and I find out more about who I am. Where I came from. Why I’m here. Where I’m going. And what it all means.

Sounds like an escape, doesn’t it?

In some ways, it is. But, when I look at my alternatives — television, Internet, housework — it is usually the most valuable (not to mention affordable) escape available. And it has changed my life so much.

The information I’ve received from my records has helped make sense out of those things that once made no sense at all. It has given me a broader perspective on anything and everything to which I am connected. And it has helped me unravel the mysteries involving those all-too-real dreams that make me go, “Whuuuut tha…?”

My Akashic Records have also helped me understand that everything and everyone on this planet are somehow connected. Whether we like it or not, that IS the truth.

In the coming months, I plan to begin sharing some of my story about my Akashic Records and how they have helped me remember who I am, why I’m here, where I’m going, and what it all means.

Why?

Good question. My first thought about this was, “Who would really even be interested?”

But, now that more and more spiritualists are reminding us, “Remember who you are,” it feels like a good time to share how you can begin to tap into your own personal truth by showing you how I did it. Not just through my own readings, but through readings I have done for my close friends, as well. We’ve learned that we are a very close-knit soul group, connected by “other lives,” and the information we have learned has cinched our bond even tighter.

I look forward to sharing with you our adventures through the Akashic Records. It certainly has been one amazing journey after another.

This was an excellent question, as it made me delve into the distinct details that set these dreams apart from a regular dream or a lucid dream. I’m not sure I’ve ever had a lucid dream, but in my regular dreams, the setting always seems to be present day and I’m usually myself in my dreams. I rarely see myself in my regular dreams. Most of the time, I see everything from my own eyes.

The other people in my regular dreams are usually people I know or representative of people I know. Even if there is someone in my dream I don’t know, or don’t recognize to represent someone I know, I am at least still me in the dream.

The other thing I notice about my regular dreams is that none of them really make sense, or something totally whacky happens when they are making sense to make them suddenly…yeah…NOT make sense. The sequencing is odd, too. My regular dreams roll a lot like those Old Spice commercials: I’m in the club dancing like a fool, and then I’m on the golf course teeing off, and then I’m floating down a canal on a gondola – look up, look down—I’m on a horse. And it’s all the same day. Oh, and there are gargantuan snakes dropping from the tree branches when I’m hanging out in the woods with my friends. I’m not even kidding. I sometimes wake up wondering if I smoked crack before I went to bed.

Past-life regression dreams are way different. For starters, I don’t recognize anyone in the dream, but yet I feel very connected to them. Every single past-life dream I’ve experienced has taken place in a different time period. The first one I had took place in the 1930s or 40s. I could tell by the clothing people wore, the cars they drove, and the appliances and décor in the homes. Everything was so retro. My second past-life dream took place during World War I. The most recent one I had took place so long ago, I can’t even tell you what time period it was; all I know is that the transportation was horse and wagon. No, not even a buggy; just a rudimentary wooden wagon.

The accents of the people in this most recent past-life regression dream sounded quite Gaelic. I’m not sure where they were from, exactly, but when I visited Scotland.org on a hunch, I saw photos there of historical stone homes that looked a lot like those in my dream. The dark waters in which the people in my dream played reminded me of the very lochs in which the “Lochness Monster” had been allegedly sighted. One of the men in the dream even mentioned “Nessy” when an unidentified water creature bit the big toe of the matronly strawberry-blonde woman in my dream.

My past-life regression dreams play out in chronological order, just like most well-told stories. The time-period and setting details are exquisite. And, even though the people are not anyone I recognize from this life, there is always a familiarity—a connection—and I can usually identify which person in the dream is who I was in that past life. I also tend to remember every last detail of my past-life regression dreams as if they really happened, whereas, in my regular “Old Spice” dreams, I only remember bits and pieces.

The things that amaze me most about my past-life regression dreams are mostly the historical details. The clothing. The transportation. The landscape. The architecture. And even the accents! I mean, I’m no historian, so I really don’t know what these things looked like in the past, except for what I’ve seen in movies and on television. I’m also no traveler, so I’ve never been to Scotland, and I don’t know the Highlands from the…Lowlands? I really have no clue. I don’t even know anyone from Scotland. The only Scottish accents I’ve ever heard are that late-night talk-show host and bad imitations on movies.

It’s odd, though. Just a few weeks ago when I was walking the Lake Michigan shoreline, I thought I’d heard bagpipes playing in the distance, and I suddenly felt comforted, the way a care package delivered to summer camp seemed to cure homesickness back in the day. The strangest thing is that I’ve never even considered the sound of bagpipes musical until that moment. As I climbed the dune to the parking lot that evening, I discovered it was, indeed, an older gentleman playing “Amazing Grace” on the pipes. Mystery solved. But the greater mystery was why I felt soothed by the sound. Now that I know I have ties to Scotland, I guess that may be the very reason why. Perhaps it was the bagpipes on the beach that inspired this deep connection to this particular past life to reveal itself in my dreams.

Then there is this long-term cosmic influence tidbit from Astrology.com that hints toward such revelations:

That Silver Thread
Jupiter Sextile Saturn
Jun 23, 2010 to Aug 22, 2010
There’s a link between each and everything you’ve ever done and where you are now. It’s all contributed to making the present the best possible place to be. In other words, do take time to thank all of your former incarnations, both in this life and in others.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This blog was written in the spring of 2008, before I accessed my Akashic Records and learned I have actually lived a total of 39 past lives.

WARNING: This blog is about reincarnation. If you are opposed to the idea of reincarnation, STOP READING.

Even if you don’t believe in reincarnation, you’ve probably caught yourself saying something along the lines of “not in this life,” or “in my next life, I want to come back as…” or “I must have been (enter adjective here) in a past life.” The question is, do we actually believe we’ve lived other lives or that our souls will regenerate to a new life after we die when we catch ourselves saying things like that?

Well, I can only speak for myself, and I KNOW I’ve lived other lives.

When I was a wee lil unchurched towhead, reincarnation was a totally natural inclination to me. OF COURSE I’d lived past lives! I WAS Huck Finn, yo!! Or maybe I had been Tom Sawyer. Or maybe…just maybe…I was Samuel Clemens, and THAT is how I knew those boys so well. Hey, stranger stuff has happened. How does a seven-year old who has never read either story know who Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer are, anyway?

Aw, maybe my mom had read those stories to me. I honestly don’t remember everything about those days. I just remember my mom was THE BEST story reader in the WORLD. Except those Laura Ingalls stories sure did put me to sleep – FAST!!

I DO remember believing in reincarnation for whatever reason, though.

Since high school I have had this thought that I must have been a real stuck-up wench in one of my past lives because I’ve always had this snooty-girl mentality that even I cannot stand at times. I mean, she’s the kind of bitch I want to smack and say, “BURP if your tummy hurts, Buffy!” JEEZE!! “Loosen the corset, Camille!” Ya know?

Anyway, yeah, crazy, I know. Especially since I grew up in middle-class suburbia and I was the first in my family to earn a college degree besides my dad who never did anything with his teaching degree because he slammed a high school student against a wall as a substitute teacher; I do believe he lost his teaching certificate for that. Classy, huh? So, yeah, I never really had any reason to be proud or feel privileged.

When I ran away (er WENT) to college in Boston, there was a moment in my college dormitory building that I realized I HAD to have lived at least ONE other life. It was when I went exploring in this old building known as “Charlesgate.” It had been a hotel, a hospital, and it was even rumored at one time to have been a brothel. It was haunted unlike anything I’d ever experienced. EVERYone seemed to have a story of some strange happening or another in that place. Eight floors of eeriness. I thought I’d never get out. Before I learned how haunted the place was, however, I went roaming around, checking things out – admiring architecture and original woodwork. It was when my eyes wandered across an ornate tile decoration that I realized something that freaked me out: I’d BEEN here before. But…I’d NEVER been there before. Whoa. Creepiness. It was like, for a very brief moment, I had stepped into another dimension – one from the past. One I was not so sure I wanted to revisit.

Fast forward 19 years to the present. A few months ago I woke from this dream that I knew should really be making me feel extremely uncomfortable, but it didn’t. In fact, it had the opposite affect on me. It felt extremely familiar and…good…which is odd considering the dream was about an older man – easily in his late 30s to early 40s – and a very young girl who looked to me to be somewhere between 12-15 years old. I understood from the dream that the man was married with two children. I could tell by the clothing style that it was the early 1940s and by the building interiors that it took place in a city very much like Boston. It was still very unclear to me who this young girl was, however. Until…well…the erotic stuff started. I was not in this dream at all, so it made no sense why I was dreaming this…and feeling these feelings. It occurred to me when I woke with these extremely warm, dreamy, VERY familiar feelings that this was no ordinary dream. Nope. This was a past-life regression dream. That fact didn’t really dawn on me until about four hours after I woke up and I couldn’t seem to get the dream out of my mind. It wasn’t until that evening that I bravely sat down and allowed myself to get into a deep discussion with my spirit guide Joe about my past lives. I still have not flushed out all the details of these past lives – I’ve only scratched the surface on most because there is only so much I feel I can handle at once, you know?

I don’t know how many total past lives I’ve lived. I know there are at least five, but three are very distinctive. Most of you who regularly read my blogs know that I feel I have a soulmate – well, not just A soulmate, but THE soulmate – the “forever love of a lifetime” kind of soulmate. I recognized the deep soul connection by the dramatic flash in her eyes when we first met. I learned that I have shared three past lives with this fellow soulmate, the most recent being the regression dream from the 1940s. She was a famous older male athlete (married with two children) having an affair with a young girl – MOI. Yeah. Forbidden love.

The two other lives were also forbidden love situations. In the first of our three past lives we’ve shared, she was a Native American man and I was the daughter of a rich white man (that’s probably where the snooty girl comes from). Our affair produced a half-breed baby boy. One month later, daddy dearest shot and killed my Cherokee lover. In our second life together, I again was the daughter of a rich white man, and we lived in South Africa. She was a hot young African stud with a chiseled chest and a handsome face. Our intensely taboo affair led to another death at the hands of my tyrant father. Again, a child had been conceived. Oh, and, if you’re wondering, no, the famous older male athlete did not die at the hands of my furious father; the athlete committed suicide after we were caught and exposed or exposed and caught – not sure exactly how that happened. Yes, offspring was also produced in that life as well. Anyone see a pattern here?

I was recounting all this newly discovered information with my niece (who is only five years younger than me) the other day, which is a blessing in itself – to be able to discuss something of this nature with a relative and she doesn’t bat an eye – and I jokingly said: “I’m not sure why we’re lesbians this time around; maybe it’s so she can’t get me pregnant?”

Without missing a beat my niece said, “Yeah, and luckily your dad is dead this time around, so he CAN’T KILL HER.”

Now, isn’t that the most precious, but yet the WEIRDEST thing a niece could ever say to her aunt?

If you’re at all human, you may have experienced these feelings at one time or another, and, if you have experienced these feelings at one time or another, you know they’re not very pleasant. Feelings like these are so heavy at times, you can barely breathe. Sometimes emotions like these feel as if they could literally suffocate you, if you can’t – somehow – scratch and claw your way out of them.

It’s bad enough when you have to feel your own pain – can you imagine feeling the pain of someone else as well? Or how about a room full of people’s emotions? Can you imagine that?

If you’re not a natural born empath, then you probably cannot imagine that. If you are an empath, you may feel overwhelmed on a daily basis – not only by your own feelings, but by those of others around you or even by those who are far away, but with whom you are energetically connected. You may even feel the emotional stress or trauma of people you have never met, but who have just passed by you or who are traveling in your general direction.

For an extreme literal example, when I was a kid and I saw an amputee being wheeled toward me in a public place, I felt a sickness wash over me – a cold, nauseated sort of feeling. The site of an amputee would literally knock the breath out of me and immobilize me. This type of reaction was automatic enough that my mom would literally steer me away from the site of amputees if she managed to spot them before I did.

One time, when I was about 12, my mom and my sister-in-law and I were all walking together in the mall when my mom spotted an Army veteran with a missing leg being wheeled in our direction just seconds after I did. She steered me away and shielded my line of vision with her body.

“Why does that bother her so much?” my sister-in-law, a registered nurse, asked in her usual snotty tone.

“She’s sensitive,” my mom explained with compassion.

“She needs to get over it,” my sister-in-law said with a roll of her eyes.

Like I was some sort of mamby-pamby wimp. She had no clue what it was like to feel her own pain, let alone the pain of someone else.

Of course, these cold type of INsensitives make excellent candidates for the medical field, so they are always wealthy – and often cold, clinical, snooty and rude – while highly sensitive people like myself struggle to hold any kind of job because so many different things affect us and distract us in the daily world.

I don’t think a true empath could ever work in the medical field – and definitely NOT in a hospital. We take in the feelings of everyone in our general environment on a daily basis – on top of our own. This is why I cannot even visit a friend or loved one in the hospital. I can only last about twenty minutes in a hospital before I begin to feel claustrophobic and start to hyperventilate. I never really understood why until about a year ago – when I learned what a natural empath is, and that I am one.

I was in a medical clinic, actually, undergoing a breast biopsy, when the realization hit me with the most clarity. It was when they shoved this hollow needle – about the same girth as a Bic pen – into my breast. It didn’t hurt. No, I was more numb than a coke addict floating in 32-degree water, but my body recognized that something foreign had entered it, and immediately went into shock.

If your body has never gone into shock, this is what happens: a cold feeling washes over you and you begin to sweat. Profusely. I could feel beads of sweat the size of half-dollars pooling all over my body. At the same time, your mouth dries up and you feel like – well, you can’t decide, really, because you can’t swallow and you can’t breathe – so you’re really not sure if you’re going to puke or pass out. You hover just inches above your body in this wonky state of weirdness wondering: am I awake or dreaming? Dead or alive? Floating or–?

What just happened? Gasp, gasp, gasp!

And, yes, you are conscious the entire time.

This state of shock was a very familiar feeling to me – but this time it was much crisper – more real – and definitely more frightening than ever before. I later realized that this state-of-shock feeling was familiar to me because it was what I used to feel as a kid when I saw an amputee’s stump. I’d see it, hear it, and then feel it – meaning I would see the stump, hear the saw blade or the bullets or the bombs – and then, BOOM, I felt the state of shock their body felt when it happened – whatever it was that stole their limb. This is why I reacted the way I did when I was a kid; I’d feel the cold, nauseated panic of the amputee’s body as it realized – but could not yet feel – the loss of the limb.

The reason my experience with my body being in a state of shock felt so much stronger when I had my biopsy was because it was the first time the state of shock was actually my own. I’m glad I experienced it, though, because it made me realize what happened to me as a kid – back when I was so much more open – spiritually and psychically – than I am now.

There are other feelings I experience now, though, since I have managed to desensitize myself a bit to control the physical stuff. Now I’m more in tune to the emotional feelings of others. Even when they say nothing or deny what they are feeling, I already know how people are feeling, and sometimes even why they are feeling the way they do – even if they don’t know why they are feeling that way.

Over a decade ago, one of my best friends was struggling with the untimely death of both her parents, their alcoholism, and their abusiveness toward her as a child. It was hard to get a hold of her at times, but I managed to connect with her on occasion, and, when I did, it was usually a very emotional three to four hour phone conversation. In one conversation, she confessed to me that her father had held a gun to her head a few years prior, but then turned it on himself. Although he didn’t actually shoot anyone, it was simply the trauma of the incident that left her rattled.

I couldn’t tell her that I knew why – that I knew what he did to her when she was little. I didn’t know what he did to her because I actually witnessed anything firsthand, but I did “see” it – psychically that is. I couldn’t tell her, though, because the one thing I wasn’t sure of was whether or not she knew her father had molested her. I didn’t dare say anything because I realized that it was highly likely that this was something she had repressed. So I choked it down like rotten hamburger and left it there, unsettled and agonizing, in my gut.

Something similar happened a couple years ago with an acquaintance I hardly knew. I was helping her move some things to her new place. She had been staying at her sister’s house, so I met her there. Again, I knew nothing about this girl’s past; I barely knew anything about her present. When I pulled in the driveway, I noticed that all three cars parked there had rainbow stickers in the back windows.

“Who does that green car belong to?” I asked.

“That’s my sister’s,” she replied.

“Your sister’s a lesbian, too?” I asked as I peered deep into her hazel eyes which immediately – somehow – became a mirror-like silver.

“Well, yeah,” she smiled. It almost seemed as if she were laughing – as if to say “duh!”

But something else happened in that moment. Sometimes I see things. Sometimes I hear things. This time it was just a simple knowledge – one that startled me, so I know it was not an assumption. It was information passed from the all knowing directly from the source – her eyes to mine – her soul to mine – her guides to mine.

Another victim.

Again, I said nothing about the information I received.

A few minutes later, I met her sister in person; the introduction was brief and the exchange was monosyllabic. Creepiness. She made my skin crawl. Enough said.

I never mentioned anything to this person because I’m pretty sure this stuff is buried deep within her, too – most likely repressed – and it isn’t my place to mention it. Still, I have to live with the knowledge – and the stress of knowing, but pretending to not know anything – all while watching this person’s dysfunctional patterns repeat over and over again, and even feeling the panic, disappointment and frustration that this distant being feels on a regular basis.

Being an empath can be maddening. Seriously. Not just the knowing – but thefeeling, too. Insensitive people can suspect something such as molestation, and, because they have no empathy for the feelings of that person, they can just bluntly ask the question, or, in some cases, blurt it out without hesitation. Empaths, however, are more energetically in tune, and we can feel exactly what our counterpart is feeling. That is how we know better than to pose the question or spew the accusation; we feel that person is not emotionally ready to deal with this information. In fact, such traumatic knowledge could throw abuse victims into a psycho-dramatic tailspin of denial and a feeling of betrayal that leads to eventual mistrust.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering how I could possibly know this information to be true if I have never asked my friends if it might be. You’re wondering if I have ever had feelings like this with anyone that I have confronted and learned that I was right on with what I was feeling. The answer is yes, I have.

Last spring I made a bracelet for a friend’s husband out of various medicinal crystals to help him deal with his own adult struggles with the knowledge of his childhood sexual abuse. The weekend after he received it, he and his wife (my friend) attended a family birthday party. He wore the bracelet to the party.

I have never in my life met this man; he lives in Massachusetts, but nonetheless, the night of the party, I was home alone in Michigan. I had just finished my dinner and I was putting my dishes in the dishwasher when all of the sudden I felt a strong craving I had not felt in almost two years: I desperately wanted to smoke a cigarette. I felt the same way I did when I was a chain-smoking fiend – I had to have that after-meal cigarette, and it was just about killing me. I remember thinking: No way. This is not me. This is not my craving. This has to be someone else. Suddenly my mind felt cloudy, and I leaned against the counter to brace myself for a new wave of weirdness.

My vision darkened, and I leaned on the counter for support. A biracial man’s right forearm with a rolled white shirt sleeve appeared in front of my eyes; his left hand came across his forearm with a razor blade pinched between his thumb and forefinger. I saw him cut his forearm with the razor blade, then the vision faded, but I felt the release of blood gush out of my own arm and felt the relief that I assume cutters feel. I inspected my arm to see if I was cut or bleeding, but I was fine. I still kind of wanted a cigarette, though – but I knew it wasn’t really my want or need.

The next Monday, when my friend and I were emailing back and forth, I asked her if her husband had been struggling with panic attacks at all Saturday night between 8-9 o’clock. She said he was going in and out of the building a lot to smoke, but she didn’t know if he felt panicked like he wanted to cut himself. So she emailed him and asked him. He told her yes, that he felt a strong urge to cut himself Saturday night. She was totally floored.

It’s a mystery to me how I was able to connect with the emotions of a man I had never met in my life, but it happened. I am just glad that I could separate his feelings from my own, and that I didn’t give into the urge to drive to the local quickie-mart to buy a pack of smokes. After being almost two years tobacco-free at that point in my life, I think I would have cut myself if I sparked up a cowboy killer – to punish myself for smoking again!

Of course, cutting is no laughing matter, and I am glad to say that I now understand with compassion why people cut themselves, because I could actually feel the relief this man has felt from the bloodletting. That is not to say that I recommend it or condone it, I just understand it. I wish that no one ever had to feel that kind of pain – the kind that leaves them so numb they have to cut in order to feel something or cut to release their pain.

Being an empath, as you can probably imagine, feels like both a blessing and a curse. I do like having a built-in barometer and instantaneously knowing things about people in advance. Most of the time, if I listen to my gut, it saves me the hassle of wasting my time. Of course, I’m not always that lucky. The empath in me always wants to give everyone a chance, even though the clairvoyant in me is waving huge red flags, blowing an ear-wrenching whistle, and showing me street-sign flashcards that say “wrong way,” “do not enter,” and “detour!”

Feeling the emotions of others isn’t always fun, either. Especially when they are sick or dying or feeling panic. I can be absolutely fine one minute, and then an emotional wave washes over me and I suddenly feel like sobbing, or I’m practically doubled over in pain, or I’m fraught with fear or worry. I have to take a deep breath and think to myself: okay, who could this be, because I know it’s not me. Then I start checking in with friends or my spirit guides.

Fortunately for me, many of my friends are empaths, too, so when I call to check in with them, they don’t think I’m nuts, and they often are able to help me figure out who is in trouble. That is the blessing!