Movies Opening Today

On his way to the store to buy wood glue, Jeff (played by Jason Segel) looks for signs from the universe to determine his path. However, a series of comedic, unexpected events leads him to cross paths with his family in the strangest locations and circumstances. Ed Helms, Judy Greer and Susan Sarandon co-star.

Rated R for language including sexual references and some drug use — Movies 16,

Mirror Mirror

The first of two movies with Snow White themes, this promises to be visually arresting as the director is Tarsem (“The Cell”) Singh. An evil queen (played by Julia Roberts) takes over the territory — and a princess (Lily Collins, daughter of musician Phil Collins, as Snow White) enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright. Arnie Hammer stars as the object of their affection, Prince Andrew Alcott. The adventure-packed comedy is filled with jealousy, romance and betrayal.

An obvious theme might be making the impossible, possible, just at the mere thought of salmon fishing, or fishing of any sort, in a desert country. Director Lasse Hallstrom adapts a novel about a scientist who hopes to fulfill a sheikh’s dream of bringing the sport of fly-fishing to his homeland in Yemen. Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, Kristin Scott Thomas and Amr Waked star in a beguiling tale of fly-fishing and politics, unexpected heroism and late-blooming love.

An all-star, action-packed, 3-D special effects bonanza. A decade after his heroic defeat of the Kraken, Perseus, demigod son of Zeus, attempts to live a quiet life as a village fisherman and sole parent to 10-year-old son Helius. But a struggle for supremacy rages between the gods and Titans. Dangerously weakened by humanity’s lack of devotion, the gods are losing control of the imprisoned Titans and their leader, Kronos, father of long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades and Poseidon. They had overthrown their corrupt father, leaving him to rot in a cavernous underworld. But treachery abounds and Perseus cannot stand by as Zeus is captured, his godly powers siphoned and hell unleashed on humans. Sam Worthington is Perseus; the film also stars Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Toby Kebbell, Rosamund Pike, Bill Nighy and Danny Huston.

James Cameron, of “Avatar” fame, promises something just as special from this new 3-D version of “Titanic,” which earned 11 Acacdemy Awards in the spring of 1998. An undersea expedition searching for a valuable diamond aboard the wreckage of the Titanic; instead they uncover a sensual drawing of 17-year-old Rose DeWitt Bukater. And the flashbacks introduce Rose (played by Kate Winslet) as she falls in love with steerage passenger Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio).

There is enough humor interspersed throughout the big-screen adaptation of TV’s “21 Jump Street” to keep most viewers satisfied. In terms of proof: Those who cannot recall even one episode of the popular ’80s television series still will laugh, Regardless, the film cannot be mistaken for intelligent, witty, memorable or sophisticated comedy. But then, witty and sophisticated never were the intended demograhics.

Gift-wrapped in red, white and blue patriotism, this began as a training film for U.S. Navy SEALS. However, co-directors Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh decided to use some of the footage, and all of the SEALS, and instead transform their footage into a recruitment poster masquerading as an action-packed commercial movie. To their credit, the action sequences are never boring.

Rated R for strong violence including some torture, and for language — Tinseltown 17 and the Stars and Stripes Drive-In.

Casa de Mi Padre

An all-Spanish feature starring Will Ferrell. Armando Alvarez (played by Ferrell) has lived and worked on his father’s ranch in Mexico his entire life. As the ranch encounters financial difficulties, Armando’s younger brother Raul (Diego Luna) shows up with new fiancee Sonia (Genesis Rodriguez). It seems that Raul’s succcess as an international businessman means the ranch’s troubles are over because he pledges to settle all debts his father has incurred. But when Armando falls for Sonia, and Raul’s business dealings turn out to be less than legit, all hell breaks loose as they also find themselves in a war with Mexico’s most feared drug lord, the mighty Onza (Gael Garcia Bernal). Efren Ramirez co-stars. Matt Piedmont directs.

This 3-D animated retelling of the 1971 storybook by Dr. Seuss manages to come to colorful life even without use of the author’s playful, unique word play. Some critics take the movie to task for introducing tree-hugging, anti-consumerist Good Guys, but I doubt the story is any more harmful than asking patrons to recycle 3-D glasses. Bottom line: The movie is a very entertaining adaptation. It is narrated by the now-not-so-young Thneedville founder (Ed Helms superb as the Once-ler) who, despite warnings from the tree-loving Lorax — Danny De Vito speaks for the trees — chopped down every colorful Truffala tree to manufacture clothing and become rich. All would be lost but for the puppy love felt by 12-year-old Ted (Zac Efron) for high school babe Audrey (Taylor Swift), a young woman who wants to see a real live tree.

The allegory will become more clear in the first sequel, but be assured that “The Hunger Games” is an honest, unflinching, powerful and honest translation of book one in Suzanne Collins’ trilogy. Jennifer Lawrence, so good in “Winter’s Bone,” is just as compelling here. The story: Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the Capitol forces 12 districts to choose a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. Part twisted entertainment, part government intimidation tactic, the Hunger Games is a televised event in which each district’s teenage representatives, or Tributes, must stalk and kill one another until only one survivor remains. A reminder that the Capitol controls all hope in the districts.

The mistakes: First, Disney should have had the guts to maintain its original title: “John Carter of Mars.” “John Carter” sounds like another Sly Stallone assassin drama. Second, no way should director Andrew Stanton been allowed to write checks totaling a quarter of a billion dollars for his first live-action effort. Naysayers will eat everyone involved alive. The great news: Practically every penny in that absurd budget shows on screen and, if not flawless, Stanton’s imagination captures the world that Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote about at the turn of the 20th century. Taylor Kitsch is solid as a Civil War captain who finds himself transported to Mars, where, with added strength from lower gravity, he defends six-limbed Tharks from feuding humanoid clans.

An improved, amusing follow-up to 2008 remake “Journey to the Center of the Earth.” The new 3-D family adventure begins when 17-year old Sean Anderson (Josh Hutcherson) receives a coded distress signal from his grandfather (Michael Caine), an explorer on an island that should not exist. The film takes for granted that what Jules Verne wrote about was real. Younger viewers no doubt will have fun with it.

The film follows three seemingly anonymous high school seniors as they attempt to finally make a name for themselves. Their idea is innocent enough: Let’s throw a party that no one will forget. But nothing could prepare them for what happens at their party. Word spreads quickly, dreams are ruined, records are blemished and legends are born.

A movie in which no CIA safe house is safe, and a bored rookie operative (played by Ryan Reynolds) may finally be able to write his own ticket to agent status if he can only keep rogue spy/”house guest” Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington) alive long enough to make it to another so-called safe house. The problem, naturally, is that during Frost’s 10 years off the grid, he has built a file of corruption within the governments of multiple countries — and it could even be his own government responsible first for some very realistic waterboarding, followed by almost non-stop action and fire-fights.

Rated R for strong violence throughout and some language — Movies 16.

This Means War

Kerns Rating: Two stars

One of the year’s dumbest screenplays. Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play fellow CIA agents and BFFs, although their friendship takes a hit when they learn they are dating the same girl, a marketing researcher played by Reese Witherspoon. Never mind that these guys are supposed to be tracking terrorists, a fairly easy job considering the fact that they killed his brother and a specific terrorist has since vowed revenge. Instead, they spend a week diverting who knows how much in federal funds to track and attempt to foil one another’s dates.

Rated PG-13 for sexual content including references, some violence and action, and for language — Tinseltown 17 and Movies 16.

A Thousand Words

Eddie Murphy stars as Jack, an agent whose fast-talking and totally insincere patter is his chief weapon. Trouble arrives when he agrees to represent guru and author Dr. Sinja (Cliff Curtis), who presents a magical Bodhi tree, which sheds one leaf for each word Jack speaks. Jack learns, perhaps too late, that when the tree sheds its 1,000th leaf, he will die.

The movie centers on a married woman (played by Rachel McAdams) who loses all recent memory in an automobile accident. She struggles to rebuild her identity, while her husband (Channing Tatum) tries desperately to win her heart a second time. The dramatic romance co-stars Sam Neill and Scott Speedman.