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Posts Tagged ‘Marketing’

Whenever I see the word shoppe included in the name of a store, I wonder why they’re using that word instead of the more easier, shop. Merriam-Webster says that shoppe is basically the same as shop and that its etymology is “Middle English shoppe“.

The pronunciation is the same for both shoppe and shop, though the extra two letters makes me want to pronounce the former, shop-ee, and then elongate the ee sound. Also, at some level, it mildly irritates me to see that word being used. (Yes, I’m aware that I need therapy.)

I’m unable to figure out why people choose to use the longer spelling when the shorter one works just as well and is acceptable, unlike SMS-speak which is not. My guess is that the people who are using the longer word are doing so just to be different. If that’s the case, then it’s not a particularly creative way of distinguishing oneself.

Whatt doo youu thinkk?

P.S. Today I passed by a store that had a sign with the word Shoppy in it. M-W doesn’t have an entry for that word: I checked just to be sure.

When I call my Internet provider, sometimes they’ll decide to let me know that there’s “free shipping on all products for 1600 locations. For details, log on to Sify.com.”

My telecom service provider, which was taken over by another company a few months ago, decides to let me know that their spokesperson is the son of a famous actor and that the company is here to serve me… blah, blah.

Most of the time, when I’m calling a customer service line, I’m not calling to chat about the weather. It’s usually a problem that I want solved and like most impatient customers, I want it solved yesterday. Essentially, all I’m looking for is to speak to a customer service rep and get my problem fixed.

So, who’s the brilliant guy that came up with the scheme to insert marketing messages in the phone call? And, these messages are not when I’m on hold, (Did you know that you can browse interesting links over on the right hand side of this blog? See?) but typically at the beginning of the phone call.

Sometimes I get the impression that these ideas are hatched at meetings where an overbearing boss suggests the idea and everyone agrees because they’re too scared to tell the guy that it’s not such a bright idea.

Or, it’s just that companies don’t think like customers or act like customers. A lot of the problems with phone customer service and IVR systems can be solved if companies actually used their own systems. You know call in, speak to someone, that sort of thing. I know it’s a revolutionary idea but companies ought to try it sometime.

This is the definitive guide for company names, which I have uncovered through hard journalistic labour. Follow at your own risk:

Select a random word from the dictionary. I use the word random lightly. If you don’t like the random word you select, try again till you get one.

If you don’t like the random word process, you can simply make up a word or a phrase and its pronunciation if necessary. Examples: PAS (Pace), Elppa (pronounced L, because the ‘ppa’ part is silent)

Include the word global in the company name someplace. Even if your company is local, I’d urge you to use this word anyway it adds that extra something to your company’s name.

Throw in the word solution in the name. Examples: Perspire Dry Cleaning Solutions, Neptune Lighting Solutions, Reachfast Transportation Solutions… you get the picture.

Rearrange the words to form something coherent. This means that ‘Solutions’ usually comes at the end and ‘Global’ somewhere near the beginning. Examples: Nopain Global Dental Solutions (good), Dirty Cleaning Global Solutions (not bad).

Be sure to add the letters TM whenever you use your company’s name. No one is sure what this means though some think it means transcendental meditation which it clearly does not–TM means Tiringly Monotonous.

Once you’ve decided on a name, you have to then come up with a tag line, preferably one that’s catchy. We’ll talk about tag-lines another day.

This post has been a production of Stalagmite Global Communications Solutions (TM).