Thursday, November 30, 2006

Wonsastrous

I started talking to Jen yesterday about my Yoga entry. She mentioned what a great/terrible feeling it is being in a situation where you KNOW you can't laugh out loud which makes the urge to laugh even worse. It really is one of those wonderful/disastrous situations. Wonsastrous.

I started thinking about more of those situations I'd been in and then a terrible memory popped in my head. It's probably not something that happened solely to me, but it makes me feel shitty when I think about it. I laughed on 9/11. I got overwhelmed and when the towers fell, I laughed. And here's something else you'll want to judge me for... my ex-fiance was IN THE BUILDING. Yep. I'm a terrible human.

(he lived. and then I broke his heart! yay! i rule!)

I was walking to meet a friend for lunch yesterday and while standing, waiting to cross the street, a woman started to step out in traffic early and almost got hit by a car. Very close. And in my head (because I'm sick) I imagined her stepping out and instead of safely moving out of the way, she got smashed into. And the image was so real in my mind (because who hasn't seen that on tv) that the same urge started to come over me. The urge to laugh.

I was able to cover my laughter up to look like crying when I was standing next to my ex's mother the moment we thought he was dead forever. (Dead forever? Not just for a little while?) But what if... ok so what if I lose my arms at some point in my life? I'm stuck in another terrible situation where everyone else is screaming and crying and I start to laugh uncontrollably and I have no arms to cover my face!? Then what!?

Holy shit...

Please, someone else out there tell me that you've been in the same situation.

2 comments:

When my dog died when I was a kid, I started crying hysterically...then I said to my mom...can we bury shotzie with her bowl? Suddenly I realized how stupid that sounded and started cracking up...my mother thought I was losing it...but even in the middle of a tragic moment, I sounded silly to myself...not even close to your situation, but along those lines...cool picture with the beer...

I think that's adorable! It probably felt good to laugh after being so sad about poor Shotzie. But don't be surprised if Shotz takes a ghost crap in your shoe. Dogs don't understand the different levels of laughter like we do.

About Me

Glesbian (n.) /GLEZ.be.un/

You need to know where Glennis shops. You must find out where Glennis eats. Glennis' opinions on life matter to you. You are a Raging Glesbian.

ASK G

You have questions I have answers, but why should you listen? In 1998 I moved to NY with $500 and 5 bags of clothes. I fought my way through the muck and grime to come out the other side triumphant. Like one of those really satisfying morning BM's, my advice will set you straight.

"Readers can send in questions and Glennis will publish her response, full of profanities, tangents, and surprisingly good advice."-Radar's Work Book Project

Write to:answermecommag@gmail.com

xG

More G

Twitter Updates

Twitter Updates

Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."