Personality Quiz

Are You a Selfish Partner?

Let’s face it, we’re all a little selfish when it comes to our partners. But did you know that the way selfishness plays into your relationship can tell you a lot about yourself and the future of your relationship? So... Are You a Martyr, Giver, Taker, or Controller?

Take Dr. Greer’s Quiz to Find Out!

The following 11 questions address the two primary areas of selfishness—sexual and emotional. In just a few minutes, you can determine where on the continuum you fall. Whether married, in a relationship, or single, take this quiz to see what kind of partner you really are!

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1. After a long, lazy lovemaking session, you’ve just had a glorious orgasm. Unfortunately he’s had a few glasses of wine and still hasn’t climaxed. You’re tired and sore, and Ryan Gosling is on Letterman, and you want to watch. You:

Continue for as long as it takes. If he doesn’t have an orgasm, yours doesn’t count for much.

Casually ask him, “Was it good for you?” as you reach for the remote control.

Continue for a while, and then suggest that he play with himself and you’ll watch.

Continue until he climaxes, then mutter under your breath, “Geez, I’ve already missed half the interview. Thanks a lot.”

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2. The words that come to mind when you think about sex with your partner are:

“Oh, that feels great. Wait, let me do that to you.”

“Yeah, just keep doing that, that’s just what I like.

“My pleasure comes from giving you satisfaction.”

“I just read about this great new move. Let’s try doing it.”

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3. Despite repeated appeals, your husband continues to fall asleep promptly at ten o’clock each night and wakes up at six, eager to make love. Alas, you’re not a morning person. In order to maintain your sex life, you:

Wake him up at eleven o’clock when you get in bed. If he wants to have sex, you’ve got to do it at a reasonable hour.

Set your alarm clock for six and have sex while you’re still half asleep.

Ask him if he remembers that old tune from the seventies, “Afternoon Delight”? Maybe that’s the best compromise…

Take a stand and refuse to have sex with him. You know it won’t be long until he gives in to your schedule.

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4. When it comes to planning your annual vacation with your partner, you:

Choose where you are going to go, buy the tickets, and tell your partner when he needs to take off work.

Book another cruise. You’re sick of them, but it’s your partner’s favorite way to travel.

Ask your partner if he doesn’t mind visiting your parents this year.

Ask your partner where he wants to go. If he’s happy, you’re happy.

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5. Your partner is a little bit of a clean freak and told you that he can’t stand when you leave dirty dishes in the sink. You:

Make an effort to put them in the dishwasher when you have the time.

Leave them there. It’s his problem that he’s so OCD, not yours.

Make sure you never leave dirty dishes in the sink again. You hate the idea of his being upset with you.

Tell him you’ll try, but leaving dishes in the sink is a lifelong habit, and you don’t think it’s really anything to get so upset about.

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6. Your husband was late getting home from a weeklong business trip, and now the steak is cold and the wine is warm. You two had agreed to have a romantic dinner and discuss some important issues in your relationship, but when he walks through the door, he’s horny and not in the mood to talk about anything. You:

Are hurt that he doesn’t acknowledge the dinner but go straight to bed with him. Maybe tomorrow he’ll remember the talk you were supposed to have.

Hop into bed and make love after making him promise you’ll talk first thing in the morning. If he’s hungry afterward, you might even heat up the steak.

Relent but make it quite clear that you’re going to talk after sex.

Insist on talking or refuse to have sex.

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7. You’re waiting for an important call from your boss about a big deal at work. Your husband has planned a romantic dinner and asks you to leave your phone at home so you can concentrate on each other without any distractions. You:

Send a quick email to your boss and let her know you’ll be unavailable for the next two hours.

Get really angry. How can your husband not understand how important this call is? Tell him you’ll go to dinner, but you’ll be taking your phone.

Tell him you love the gesture but sweetly ask if you can postpone your plans for another night. This call is really important.

Go to dinner with him but bring your phone and secretly check it in the bathroom throughout the night. You just can’t miss this call.

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8. Your husband buys you a new perfume that you don’t especially like. You:

Wear it when he’s around but put on your own favorite when he’s not.

Tell him, “I really don’t like this too much. Why don’t you exchange it for that bottle of Obsession I love so much?”

Tell him you appreciate the gesture. Then set it on your bathroom counter and let it collect dust.

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9. You like to sleep with the fan on, but your husband gets cold easily and hates the noise that it makes. You:

Buy him earplugs and extra blankets for his side of the bed.

Leave it off. You’d rather he be comfortable.

Tell him to sleep in the guest room. You just can’t get a good night’s rest unless the fan is on.

You sleep in the guest room with the fan on. It really isn’t fair to put him out.

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10. What a shock! Your couch-potato spouse just bought himself a new suit, shaved his beard, and signed both of you up at a health club. What does it all mean?

You don’t know and you don’t care. You can ill afford the suit, you liked his beard the way it was, and you’re not about to start sweating. You have enough work to do already.

Hmm, he looks good. Maybe you could give the Stairmaster a try, just to see what happens. You might not go every day, but at least the two of you could go to the gym together a couple of days a week.

Uh-oh. Obviously he’s trying to tell you something. He’s going for a total image overhaul, and you’d better learn to keep up with him. Or else.

You feel a little put out. He should have conferred with you before making all these changes. You two need to have a serious conversation.

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It’s Sunday night and you’re psyched for Mad Men, but there’s a show about shark attacks on the Discovery Channel that your husband has been dying to see. You haven’t seen your husband much this week and were really looking forward to snuggling with him and Don Draper on the couch. You:

Turn to the Discovery Channel and TiVo Mad Men. At least you’ll get to snuggle with him, and you can watch your show later when you have time.

Tell him you’ve been looking forward to Mad Men all day. He can watch it with you or watch his show in your bedroom, but you’re not budging.

Watch the shark show, but flip back to Don Draper during the commercials. You want to at least be able to join some of the water cooler gossip at work tomorrow.

Watch Mad Men and demand that he watch it with you. You’ve had this night planned in your mind all day, and he isn’t going to ruin it for you.

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