Weaving Stories, Curating Memories

Letter to Me #WTFOW 2018

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – The Lion King

Dear Me,

When you look back at your past what do you see? Do you see pain and sadness or laughter and happiness? Perhaps you see a mix of both. I am certain you do not want to look at the ugly and sad incidents from the past and always try to run away from them. But let me tell you, those ugly and painful incidents have been your biggest teacher. If you think carefully then you will realise that you have learnt all your lessons from those incidents.

Let me tell you what you learnt. You have learnt that whatever it may be life is beautiful however just like a rose has thorns life also has few thorns and those thorns can be in form of untoward incidents or some Homo-sapiens. Unpleasant incidents like death and sickness cannot be controlled and we can do nothing about them other than accepting. Early deaths of loved ones leave deep holes in our hearts but those wounds often make us strong and more careful towards ourselves and those around us. Often losing a near and dear one teach us the lesson that nothing is permanent in life and we should be more careful about utilising our time. We should try to make each moment joyful so that when we reach the end we are not left with regrets.

The other thorns come as people. There will be people in your life that will hurt you badly. They would come as your relative, neighbour, friends, lovers and even random strangers. They will say or do nasty things to put you down. Some of them would manage to leave a gaping wound in your heart however you should not get bothered because years later when you will look back at it you will realise that person actually helped you become a better and stronger person. So the best thing to do is to forgive that person. Take care of that wound, let it heal slowly and learn a lesson from it.

Often we give too much importance to undeserving people who do not value our worth. These people are the real toxic people who never appreciate the love that you shower on them because these people are so undeserving that they don’t know how to value relationship. They consider themselves too important and often take a sadistic pleasure in torturing you. They increase their importance by treating the other person as shit. These people actually do not love themselves and therefore incapable to love others. Usually, these people are incapable to see anything good in you and they would often use you to fulfil their needs and when you are unable to satisfy their needs they would move on to another person. They are never repentant of their own deeds and always blame the other person for whatever went wrong. These people are usually so toxic that they would get jealous when they see you happy and usually try to find loopholes in your happy life. The only way to defeat these people is to stop giving them any importance and concentrate on your own happiness. Always remember that your happiness should not be dependent on others. The moment we expect others to make us happy we go wrong and cause more pain to ourselves. Don’t expect anything from anybody; the more you keep your expectations nominal the happier you are. Do not give anybody the “power” to make you happy or sad. The moment you give the control of your happiness or sadness to others the more wretched you make your life. Just be yourself and concentrate on yourself and you will evolve as a person. I think the mantra of a happy life is “I give a damn”. Learn to say “get lost” to the toxic people in your life those who are playing havoc with your mental peace.

For years you have not been able to forgive many of them who hurt you but now you have reached a stage where for your own mental peace you should forgive and forget these people. The best thing is to remember the good things and good people and forgive and forget the bad people as if they never existed.

Lately I have been facing this concept of Forgiveness where ever I go. And I think it is a signal of sorts that I must forgive some of those people who have hurt me immensely. It was a pleasure reading this thought provoking post.

Forgive and forget – it’s hard for me, especially to forget and to forgive those who never bothered to own their hurtful deeds, is proving to be difficult too. One may be I will reach where you are, Balaka. You have written this so beautifully.

It not easy for me also. I guess I am just trying. Some people cause you so much pain that you just do not want to forgive them. But, now I feel maybe I should forgive them for my own mental peace and sanity. Keeping grudges make us physically sick.

What a lovely way to pour your heart out, Balaka! I can so relate to your pain and anguish. We all meet people who hurt us knowingly or unknowingly. But, you also learn in the process. I have now realised not to give the power to anyone to hurt me. I guess you learn that wisdom with age.

One of the best things age and life gives us is the ability to look past the people who have hurt you, forgive them and just concentrate on your inner peace. It took time t attain that for me, but gradually reaching there. I loved this letter. So apt for almost all of us. 🙂

Sheethal, even for me it took time. In fact I am still trying. Sometimes the wound is so deep that forgiving is not easy but for our own inner peace we should try and let go. Thanks for reading. I am glad that we think alike.

We always emerge stronger..That is how the Universe teaches us…I once read this amazing book where it was written that we should always thank those who hurt us, because they are our best teachers. Thanks Aks..good to have you here after long.

Writing a letter to self that is trapped in the dilemma of either forgiving or hanging on to the past is such a therapeutic undertaking. I think I should do that too…from the third person’s perspective.
Was engrossed till end in your reflection Balaka.

A wonderful letter which has great messages for all of us. Agree that it is difficult to move ahead from the pain of the past mistakes and relationships, but we need to let go for our own good and sanity!!

I give a damn. I certainly do to those people who made my life difficult, the ones who constantly pointed the worst in me. The memories of them make me feel grateful for every passing moment at present. They now complain I don’t stay in touch. The past hurts and experiences have to be respected, just as Corinne has said in her today’s post, and left behind where they suit most – in the past. We are not required to carry their burden in the present or the future. This is a choice we all have. It is all in our minds.

Loved the way you have poured your heart in the post. Its beautiful and many of the experiences are similar to what most of us face. The end lends hope…hope for a better future. Keep Writing 🙂 #WriteBravely 🙂

I think I am going to save this post and re read it anytime I need to hear wise words from a friend.
I found myself nodding my head at almost everything you’ve shared here, Balaka.
Thank you for sharing it with us.

I am really humbled to learn that my rambling made sense to you. I was just having a bad day when I jotted down few realisations..glad it touched a chord with others…thank you so much for this lovely comment. It made a lot of difference to me.

Loved your heartfelt post, Tina. So good you decided to put words into your feelings and let them out in this letter. I think we all reach a point in our lives when we like to reflect on the past and even if it hurts there are some lessons that we know we have learnt that makes us feel it was unavoidable at the time but now, years later, we can do without the drama and the pain! We always have a choice to move on. I know how the past hurts and how difficult it is to forgive and forget people, and events that snatched away our joys but remember every experience leaves us rich with some wisdom that wouldn’t have come to us otherwise.