DDA

From Clown to Congress: Sen Rand Paul Admits He Used To Be Ronald McDonald

Many savvy Internet sleuths thought the junior senator from Kentucky bore a basic resemblance to McDonald’s most famous mascot, Ronald McDonald, but after multiple allegations and a few prominent websites posting side-by-side comparison pictures, Rand Paul came clean.

“It wasn’t the glory days back then,” he told reporters, “but I’ll say my gig as Ronald McDonald paid the bills. I charmed the kids each time I visited the local McDonald’s restaurants. I hit up their moms for tips. I had the freedom to cut loose behind the red wig and slathered on white makeup.”

Senator Paul held the gig while he attended college at Baylor during the early 1980s. He’d landed the job after cruising around a college job fair in which a high-level executive from McDonald’s was seeking young professional communication majors. When the exec spotted Rand, he shook young man’s hand and told him he’d make a fine Ronald McDonald.

“I believe in capitalism,” Paul told reporters. “That means doing anything possible to climb the ladder to prosperity, to success, to wealth. It doesn’t mean sitting around waiting for the government to hand it to you. I was Ronald McDonald, for God’s sake,” he said. “And I’m proud of it. Where else in the world, other than the United States of America, can a man be a clown before he becomes a senator?”

Rand, who is the son of famous Constitutionalist and longtime Texas congressman, Ron Paul, won a seat in the Senate in 2010. He has since become the firebrand politician to fearlessly speak out against tyranny, and famously resisted the push to renew the Patriot Act, as well as denounced the newest version of the NDAA bill that included a provision to indefinitely detain American citizens, which President Obama eventually signed into law (even after he told the American people he wouldn’t).

Paul most notably held a filibuster for twelve hours and fifty-two minutes on March 6-7 of this year to block the nomination of John O. Brennan as the Director of the CIA. The Kentucky senator used his platform to speak out against the president’s illegal and unconstitutional use of drones abroad, and the fear that they’d be used at home, on U.S. citizens. Other points of interest were the president’s kill list, of which Brennan is a major architect.

Most recently, on April 23rd, Senator Rand Paul came under fire after he did an interview with Fox Business News where he said flipped his stance on drones, and outraged his loyal Libertarian fanbase by saying, “I’ve never argued against any technology being used when you have an imminent threat, an active crime going on. If someone comes out of a liquor store with a weapon and fifty dollars in cash. I don’t care if a drone kills him or a policeman kills him.” (source)