5-Hour Energy Drink Could Maybe Kill You

You think you know exactly what you are getting when you drink a 5-Hour Energy, because its name is so obvious and descriptive But what its name doesn't tell you is that those five hours of energy might just kill you.(*dramatic trumpet blast*) According to an investigation by the New York Times, 13 deaths have been linked to 5-Hour Energy over the last four years. Additionally, it may have been a factor in 30 other serious medical incidents, including heart attacks and a "spontaneous abortion." On the bright side, it least it didn't feel like 2:30 while that was happening.

"I am not interested in making any comment," said Manoj Bhargava, chief executive of the company that makes 5-Hour Energy drink, of the report. The FDA has confirmed the Times' findings.

To be fair, just because somebody died soon after taking a shot of 5-Hour Energy (which is all the report is saying) it doesn't mean the heavily-caffeinated drink is definitively responsible for their death.

Nevertheless, we think we're sticking with coffee. Or just getting a good night's sleep.