Monday, September 7, 2009

new motivation

so this weekend i went to the lake for vactation, and i was hoping that getting away from college food would make it easier for me to restrict, and in some ways it was, in others, not so much. the day i left, i had only eaten about 300 calories, but worked out a lot right before i left and burned off 350 calories (go me!) but then when i got to the lake i was starving, so i had a total binge and ate arounf 810 calories. fuck me. so yhou would think that i would feel disgusting and not want to eat anymore that weekend right? oh yeah, right, im a total fatass, i forgot. its tradition that when my family goes to the lake, my grandmother fixes us a big country breakfast every morning (biscuits, eggs, gravy, bacon) and i just cant resist that. i just dont think anyone understands what this meal means to me. like, if i were on death row, this would probably be my last meal. so i had three days of that, and dinner every night. i cant believe i havent gained 20 pounds. i felt so disgusting that i left the lake a day early to come back to school and "give myself a full day to study before classes start again" yeah. more like "give myself a full day to fast, work out incessantly, and maybe open a book for like 15 minutes." my roommate isnt back yet, so its really easy for me to not eat and no one notices. its almost 1:00 here and not a single calorie has entered my body, and i intend to keep it that way. i read a blog where a girl said she lost 13 pounds in a week, and others said that they had lost 10 pounds or more in a week, so i have new motivation. i know i can do it, i just have to stay focused. so my plan for this week istoday: fasttomorrow: granola bar for breakfast, and a small dinnerwednesday: fastthursday: small dinner onlyfriday: small dinner and small lunch (this will be my binge day, because im also planning on getting completely fucked up on this day, so if im getting the calories, might as well have food in my stomach so that i wont puke all over myself)saturday: fastsunday: fast

i dont know if i can do it. ive done a liquid diet for two days straight before but it was incredibly hard for me, and i had been eating full meals the entire week before, so we'll see how it works out. any motivational words are greatly appreciated! stay strong ladies!

Simply put, these girls are just AMAZING! Go check them out and find out for yourself. Seriously!

People in my blog

CJ-my best friend. Met during our first year of college together last year, and have been basically inseperable ever since. Currently my roommate

L- my most recent ex-boyfriend. I really love him a lot, still, and he's my other half...my best friend in the world. Unfortunately, I don't think we'll ever be able to date again.

Frat boy- CJ's boyfriend. Very country.

Lindsey- CJ's kinda new best friend that i'm not a huge fan of. Alcoholic bitch would probably be a pretty fair description.

Ashley-my former roommate. Sweet girl, but never really goes out with me. Possibly has orthorexia...obsesses over working out and eating healthy.

Nick- ex boyfriend. We dated for several years in high school. He's not really in my life anymore, but our horrible relationship has had some lasting effects on my life, so i refer to him pretty frequently.