Meffert: A new meaning to 'good to the last drop'

Updated 8:52 am, Thursday, July 12, 2012

What a joy it is to have TV doctors extol the health benefits of coffee! If you consider coffee to be nectar of the gods and function poorly without it, it's a relief to hear that your favorite beverage may be anti-inflammatory, anti-cancer and almost medicinal instead of one more evil to avoid.

When I worked at newspapers, I don't recall any writers without half-filled cups of cold coffee on their desks to be sipped as words flowed from mind to fingertips onto keys. Those who've called fish "brain food" could not have been devout coffee drinkers. It's been said that real journalists have "ink in their blood" (referring to the days of typesetting and real ink, I suppose). I think if writers have ink in their veins it's from stirring their coffee with their pens. I still stir coffee with my pen when starting a column or crossword puzzle. Old habits die hard.

Coffee pots are fixtures in most workplaces. Unwritten rules govern the use of communal coffee pots. If you're desperate enough to pour a cup when the coffee has condensed to nearly syrup, the rules require starting another pot. Never, ever put a nearly empty pot back on the heater plate. Coffee dregs burn into solid material that contaminates the next batch unless, of course, the pot cracks. Then nobody gets coffee until a new pot is got; and the coffee drinkers will be mad at you for the rest of the day. Today's single-cup coffee makers can solve old workplace coffee problems.

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I don't recall anyone actually washing coffee pots or cups in the workplace. One of my bosses had a transparent double-walled insulated plastic cup with a cracked inner wall. Coffee seeped through the crack and into the space between the two walls. He used creamer and sugar so I imagined bacteria thriving in the liquid that sloshed about as he tipped his cup to drink. The trapped coffee never appeared to fill more than a third of the space so I assumed the seepage went both ways. He never seemed to notice his cup but he always noticed copy with the words "future plans." Redundancy was his pet peeve and he'd snarl "all plans are in the future" then take another swig of bacteria coffee. Perhaps bacteria coffee with ink makes a person grumpy?

I remember my dad trying to like Postum when told to avoid coffee due to high blood pressure. Attempting to cut back on my coffee drinking, I tried it, too. With or without milk, roasted-toasted, veggie-grain matter in hot water is not a coffee substitute. But it helps you appreciate decaf more. I buy granitas (coffee frappe) at a kiosk which makes decaf-sugar-free granitas for those who don't want regular high-octane coffee smoothies. The substitute is appropriately called a "Why Bother."

Oldsters often complain about change, but changing coffee from being a forbidden bean to a blessed beverage is a most welcome change to those of us who like it hot or frosty, black or creamed, sweet or not. It's the original comfort food.