The Tortilla Curtain

by paradox

The reprehensible NSA legislation currently weaving through Congress will probably die quietly because the clock runs out, and it’s fervently hoped another viciously stupid idea with alarming support doesn’t make it: 700 miles of new fence along the Mexican border to enforce bigotry, unemployment, and the glaring, arrogant stupidity of the United States. A monstrous barrier to the land of the free, a ridiculous testament to boneheaded follies the species is sadly prone to, a glaring, offensive landmark easily recognized from space starkly demonstrating total futility, this, sadly, is the only outcome possible for the Tortilla Curtain.

If constructed we will instantly join the fraternity of fencing humans, living memory showing the East Germans and Israelis as shining success members. Do we really want to degrade our southern border to the horrifying political and human tactics that Berlin and the West Bank employed? Jesus save us.

Only starkly stupid people in DC would fail to recognize how smart humans are without college degrees and white skin. Those boneheads in Washington, incredibly, think that human beings with 10 million years of hominid evolution can’t figure out how to get around a physical barrier 700 hundred miles long.

Our stupidity and futility will be so public—news crews from around the globe will amply document the clumsy boot of American oppression, haplessly, inevitably failing. After Iraq, can’t we spare ourselves this?

Sincere apologies are extended to the good people of Mexico that this horrible idea got so far. Americans are clueless to the vibrant intelligence, fierce history for freedom, and sparkling gifts of humanity the Mexican people provide the world, consequently sustaining so many Americans every day. Even with the priceless gifts of enchiladas and tamales an everyday part of their lives basic respect for Mexico is sorely lacking in America.

I am sorry, truly sorry, mi hermanos y hermanas. Soon these racist bigots will be voted out and more sane approaches will be attempted at our shared problems. Six more weeks.