One of my closest friends since middle school and I have been a little on the skidz as of late. She and Tim (my fiance) got into an arguement and since then she and another friend of mine have done nothing but talk trash on him and really try to make me feel like shit about our wedding. So I've really distanced myself from the two of them.

So when we really started planning our wedding and we choose our attendants for our wedding I wanted my girls to be people who were close to me and Tim. Apparently this really offended my friend we'll call her "R". She actually expected to be one of my bridesmaids......yeah right after all the stuff she's said to my face about Tim....ok!

So "R" finally met a guy, she'd never had a boyfriend befor....EVER! She's dated plenty but never had a steady boyfriend. So she gets set up with this older guy and they hit if off....Good for her. And right Christmas we were talking on the phone about my wedding plans and I ask if her and Patrick are planning to come to the wedding.....now mind you I sent our Save the Dates out LAST October...everyone knows the date. She responds with "Well I don't know, I was hoping to have gotten a ring for Christmas and I want an October wedding too". OK, I remain calm, and say you do realize that that's 9 months away? And she responds with I know but that's what I want. So needless to say she didn't get a ring for Christmas nor for Valentine's Day....but she did however get the ring for her birthday March 3rd. So she doesn't even bother to call me and tell me.....no she sends me an email..... So then I call her and she calls me and I call her back.....she never responds....I find out from another friend on St. Patrick's Day that she's affraid to talk to me because she's trying to plan an OCTOBER wedding......

So today, I sent out a mass email about a shoot I'm doing and she responds to the email with, "Yeah, the pictures are nice, just not my style.....But I really do need to talk to you about getting some recommendations for wedding photographers"...............HUH! Ok you can't return my calls and your planning a wedding that's completely stealing my thunder....not to mention making it financially difficult for some of our friends!

I think I have every right to be mad! Everyone has the right to choose things the way they want it, but I do believe that there is an unspoken rule that says that you really shouldn't up stage a friend and steal they're thunder! I think it's really rude, MY GOD they haven't even been together for a YEAR yet, what's the Fing RUSH!

I would be mad. I don't get mad about a lot of things people sometimes mind. I could care less that my brother scheduled his wedding 2 months after mine. I am completely happy about it. I don't care when really close friend can't attend my wedding. none of that would piss me off, but your story does. I think what really gets to me is that she doesn't even bother to talk to you about it. Any reason she is so set on an october wedding? Do you think it is just to upstage you?

I agree with you, that's f'd up. You don't do that to a girl's wedding, especially friend or family's.

I'm going through something similar and I've been trying to act like i'm not pissy about the situation but i kinda am. after i got engaged (me and fi have been together for 4 yrs). My bro's girlfriend (he's been with for altogether maybe 6 mos) gets pregnant by "accident" (she's 36, I can't understand how this happens when your on birth control). And now they are getting married in a few months.

Now maybe i wouldn't think she got prego on purpose, if her first reaction to me getting engaged wasn't "where's my ring?" WTF

Im sorry, I would definetly be upset. If she is your friend you would hope she understands how you feel and communicates that with you..... and here telling you that your photography is not her style. WTF! Im sure its beautiful but she is trying to get to you. Sorry your going through all that!

Like Morgan I understand that there are only so many months in a year and that someone close to me will be getting married nearby.... and that not all of our closests friends will be able to attend for various reasons. But this girl... seriously.. WTF?

Plus IMO if shes afraid to talk to you... she knows its wrong to have the Oct wedding and is feeling guilty about it.

It sounds to me like she is jealous of you. But actually what she is doing is shooting herself in the foot. You have had this wedding planned and everyone has seen the save the dates etc. so really if people are struggling financially, they are going to go to one wedding and it would be the one that invited them first, which is yours. I would be mad, absolutley. can you say something to her? On second thought, thats probably what she wants from you...a reaction. So don't react, and don't worry because you have all your ducks in a row. She won't ruin anything or steal any thunder as long as you don't let her. and for her, well Karma can be s***ty.