Ben Kaufman ’17 and Wyatt Smitherman ’16 debate what the Religious Freedom Restoration Act will mean for Indiana. Kaufman argues that the law will only allow for minority discrimination while Smitherman argues the bill is similar to many others, but would ultimately be better if replaced by At-Will contracting.

In the interest of increasing patient autonomy, opening the doors to true forms of euthanasia goes too far. Physician-assisted suicide, therefore, exists as the only viable option. Ethically indistinguishable (at worst) from current medical practices, dying with dignity needs to become a legally acceptable option for terminally ill people.

Alex Rodriguez named to Stanford baseball’s coaching staff

Currently suspended New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez accepted an offer to become an assistant coach for the Stanford baseball team on Monday. Despite his plans to return to play for the Yankees next season after his suspension ends, Rodriguez will coach for the Cardinal for the remainder of this season.

“I’m excited to be a part of such a great program,” said Rodriguez at his introductory press conference. “Obviously, I have zero collegiate experience but I think that I bring a unique understanding of the game of baseball and hopefully I can share my experiences with these young ball players.”

The Seattle Mariners drafted Rodriguez in 1993 straight from high school. Although he never played college baseball, he brings a career .299 batting average and 654 home runs to his role as an instructor for Stanford’s hitters.

“To be honest, I was a little jealous of Stanford coach Ryan Garko,” Rodriguez said. “If someone should be able to leave the majors and get a job as a hitting coach at such a young age, it should be me.”

The shocking move seemingly came out of left field, as Rodriguez really had no connections with Stanford. Rather than staying in New York to help some of the younger Yankees develop, Rodriguez bolted to the West Coast.

“Stanford prides itself on doing things the right way and that’s something I’ve really tried to do throughout my career,” said Rodriguez on why he chose to come to Stanford.

Rodriguez is suspended for the entirety of the 162-game regular season and the playoffs for “conduct detrimental to baseball.” He has admitted to steroid use at several different times in his career and received a suspension after his attempts to cover up more performance-enhancing drug use were revealed.

“There have been some dark times in my career,” he said. When asked about the Yankees opinions on his decision to come to Stanford, Rodriguez had no comment.

Contact Lennay Kekua at lkekua ‘at’ stanford.edu.

Editor’s note: This article was published as part of The Daily’s April Fool’s Day edition and is completely fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only.

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