It seems like there's always a hot new fad amongst the ranks of college sports coaches.

Of course, the big one is "improper recruiting practices", aka the distribution of money to students. That one's been going on forEVER. Then a few years ago we had the college coach drinking and making out with co-eds scandals. But that didn't catch on as well as Larry Eustachy might have hoped.

So what's the new hip thing? Imported right out of the Catholic church, it's improper relations with young men! That's right, kids, it's the game that's easy to learn and impossible to master: sexual molestation!

Penn State started the craze with the revelation that longtime coordinator Jerry Sandusky (not a Jew. Not a Jew. NOT A JEW) had been using his position as a youth counselor to put young men in compromising positions for decades. That one looked like so much fun it pulled in people who even said the words 'Nittany Lions' over the past 20 years (including Penn State Prez, and Jew, Graham Spanier).

Then, Syracuse University took a look down Route 15 and said, gee we can't let Penn State get all the reprobations. And so now we have alleged pervert number 2: former Syracuse basketball assistant coach Bernie Fine (yeah, a Jew. Dammit.)

Where does this all end? We can't imagine, but the idea that this was about protecting children and prosecuting their predators was lost about two million tweets ago.

Why can't we just go back to the good old days when the biggest scandal was a college coach just hitting a kid?