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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thank goodness for those big photo books at the bakery counter. You know, the ones with all the cake designs in them? Yeah. Without those, how would we ever know what toys come with the cake?

What's that? You thought the books showed the cake designs, too? Ah. Please excuse me for a moment, while I turn my head and laugh heartily at your oh-so-sweet naivete.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Ahah.

I do so love shattering expectations.

Here's what Naomi J. ordered:

"Taxi!"

Aaand what she received:

Great slithering slabs of slime-secreting slugs, Sally!(Sorry Naomi; I needed an S name.)

Note how all that airbrush dye pools together and glistens wetly in the light. Mmm. And the way that blackened, moldy green offsets the fluorescent green border. Yeah, that's tasty. And, of course, there's the eclair-filling slug bombs; can't forget those.

However, you should also note - and in the decorator's defense - that the batman toys look exactly the same. Hooray, photo book!

i like the skyline in the 'book' example. i used to spend part of the time Mum was grocery shopping looking at that book of pictures when i was little. i'd pick out which one i would order or make. we never bought cakes like that because Mum's are infinitely better. but i liked the licensed characters.

Why is Batman doing the Hitler salute in these pictures? It seems a bit out of character for him. But so does standing still, ankle deep in icing, while injustices like that horrible cake go unpunished!

Honestly, looking at the first cake, I knew that airbrushing was way beyond your average wreckerator's skills. Yet, that particular wreckerator still managed to amaze me. What another glorious example of wreckitude!

Before I started making my kids' birthday cakes, I let them choose the design from the book. Their decision was always based on what toys they would be licking icing off of. Thanksfully, they turned out like the design in the book and not like this mess! Yet another reason I'm glad I make the cakes now and am not tempting fate anymore!

The toys are the same? In the second photo, it looks more like Batman is making an (appropriate) WTF gesture, rather than hailing a cab. Got to love the three pupae on the bottom of the cake though, what are those supposed to be?

I love how if you look closely you can tell that the Wreckerator was actually *trying* to re-create the scene from the book...

The brown stripe with yellow slugs is supposed to be the road and dividing stripes.The black green blob-stripe is the buildings, sort of.The orange spot in the top left corner is trying to be the sun.And then the blue blob is sky.

It's kinda like those Magic Eye pictures, just keep squinting, you'll see it eventually. :)

I can't imagine what was going through the mid of the person operating the airbrush. I spent over 2 decades working as a baker and pastry chef and that is as bad as anything I've ever seen. I hope that the purchaser of this product was offered a refund, a free new cake and a year's supply of free cupcakes. Then I hope the alleged "decorator" was hauled unceremoniously out behind the dumpster and flogged with some greasy parchment paper. And fired. That item is an invitation to lose business.

Does this wreckorator live where there are no roads???They obviously have a small tip, they used it for the "inscription".(Yes grammar police, I reject the rule about punctuation inside quotes.)@David and Sandy: we have been through this 500 times: Jen does NOT post homemade cakes without disclosing it. "It's a fake wreck" accusations get old. Time to give up you faith in humanity and accept that people are this bad at their jobs.

seeing that makes me really glad that our local store will sell me the toy kit. I just stick it on a homemade cake and the kids just want the toys anyway. That has to be one of the most unappetizing messes I've ever seen. Yuck!

Thank god they have BOOKS to tell you how to decorate your own cakes. Whether the baker chooses to read them is a whole other thing.

I'm going to delude myself into believing that mommy let Jackson decorate his own cake...snot slugs and all. Because, as we all know, it's entirely plausible to believe that 4 year olds have mastered the art of cursive writing.

You can almost follow the wreckoraters train of thought, because, this particular wreckorater has no clue who Batman is, and upon looking at the design they are to copy, assumes the Batmobile is being pursued by small yellow snakes slithering down the road...so they think, I know, we'll turn them into huge giant slugs...the kids will LOVE that!

Actually, the "slug" road stripes? Look to me like that foam stuff you get to fill in cracks around windows--as soon as you spray it out, it expands to like 8 times larger. Ewwww. That is truly the most UNappetizing cake you've ever featured!

I only paid for it because unfortunately my son was with me and just saw the Batman figurine, and happily exclaimed a "Batman Cake!". She only charged me for the plain cake, which actually did taste good, but its not HARD for this one to taste better than it looks!

OMG! Naomi, I love how it's so bad you're being questioned whether it's legit or you're just some fame-seeking cake-wrecker!! ...not to make any excuses but again I must mention that it was a MILLION degrees that week...driving everyone a little craaaaaaaazy?!! Also making it too hot to bother arguing with the store or with a 4 year old who just wants some CAKE! Love the 84+ comments! :)

Monkee Momma, I am glad your little boy was happy with the cake. My tactic when using a "professional" bakery: arrange to pick up the cake early, so if changes need to be made, there's time to do it, and never bring your child with you if it's the child's cake. I learned that from experience. Picked up daughter's cake and she was with me. I wasn't happy with it, but she was, so I paid for it and took it home. This was years ago, before I found my daily dose of Laughter that is CakeWrecks.

I'm still stuck on the slugs... When decorating, don't you have a piping bag? I mean, I know I do when I make my amateur cakes...so why would you pipe out such huge, horrible things like that unless it's just pure laziness? Squiggliness, okay, even I've done that before. But you have to TRY to get them that big.

What really horrifies me is that the slug blobs appear to be a "fix". See the yellow beneath? Like... they airbrushed the lines? And then decided, "Oh, no, that won't do. Let me fix this. Ah! There we go. Perfect."

Holy cow, Robin! I was jarred almost right out of my chair as I scrolled down to see what Naomi had to lug home and then somehow explain to poor little 4 year old Jackson. Looks like an infestation of giant slugs has taken over the road there. And what? No Bat signal?! Shameful. Just shameful.

I wish I had took a pic of my son's 2nd bday. it didnt come home with me. It was a doggie sheet cake with red and blue. But the one I got was a plain white cake with a outline dog bone in the middle with jerry in it and my sons name is jeremiah. I almost cried. I was like I refue to pay for this and then they called the manager who said it was half price. I was not nice.

Just for the record: I just found out about this website when I was discussing it with my friend, who recommended that I send it in. Thanks Jen M! Now I am hooked to the blog and will probably never ever experience a postable wreck like this again! Luckily for the future of all of my kids birthdays!:)

ROFL Oh my gosh! That's disgusting. I kept looking at the pic of the book cake and trying to figure out why the slugs were there. it was the wreckorators attempt at the lines on the road. lol And the Bakery manager let it go out the door!

I look at so many of these entries and am appalled at the results. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't pay for that lame excuse of a cake. I mean, maybe I would just so that I could take it home and take a picture to submit to this blog, but I'd still complain to the manager.

Anonymous said... "This gives me an idea for playing the game "telephone" with wrecks. Take a picture of a wreck, go into a store and ask for that design. Receive worse wreck in return. Take a picture of it. Repeat until no longer recognizable."***Hey, look! They already used your idea! They are REAL pros, though, to be able to get to "no longer recognizable" in only ONE step.>^!!^<

Now. This is how I REALLY feel:

It's for a kid!! A very YOUNG kid.And it has little-kid-and-especially-boys-stuff all OVER it:Batman. Batman TOYS!Frosting. Very COLORFUL frosting!And the best thing of all: it was Jackson's BIRTHDAY!Excitement and fun and being young...!((SIGH)) Call me a hopeless romantic, but I LIKE this thing.

Urp. Of all the grotesque things that we've seen on cakes... those slugs, which I believe are supposed to represent road striping, might be the very worst. They look...[shuddering] like puss... infected puss. Excuse me, I must run away now I think I'm going to hurl... happy thoughts...happy thoughts!

I don't think that's airbrushing under the banana slugs. I think that the lefthand slug actually slipped a bit (or crawled away) after it was "piped" on the cake, taking the airbrushed colour with it. Either way, it's a horrible cake. I can't imagine what an awkward situation that would be looking at this thing with your 4yr old excited about the toys.

My son had that exact same cake years ago. Fortunately, our local cake decorators take a lot of pride in their cakes and his turned out really good. How disappointed they must have been. I have been so fortunate to have never bought a wreck so far. Tho my hubby (after drinking a few beers) did attempt to make my 30th bday cake and after eating it, my son informed me that the reason it had cake crumbs all over the icing was because his dad had dropped it in the floor and then tried to "glue it back" with icing. nice.

FLMAO! this is PRETTY BAD! how are they even allowed to SELL THESE? there's NO way in hell i would pay for this wreck if i ordered a licensed cake and THIS monstrosity is what i got! that's INSANE! and FUGLY as hell!! lmao

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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