SkinnyHollie is no longer chasing skinny, but striving to be healthy. Inside and out. Watch me transform from an overweight, under-appreciated teacher to a fit, healthy, self-employed momma!

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Bad habits...

I need my ass kicked for letting almost a month go by with no blogging! WTH! I mean, I THINK about it all the time... just don't make the time. But lately, I really haven't been MAKING the time to do anything toward losing weight. Thank goodness I've pretty much maintained. I don't know a number because I'm scared of the scale right now. I've pretty much been on a binge-fest for days. Add that with TOM and ... well, no scale.

I have let bad habits take over. Not so much food-related bad habits, but other vices that are not good for me. Alcohol being one of them. And smoking. And partying... a lot. Honestly, I have just lost my mind. Maybe its a defense mechanism....? Things got so bad I just decided to go somewhere else... a happy place, if you will. I surrounded myself with friends who were more than willing to party with me (and pay for it). My kids were happy and taken care of - so why say no? Not when saying YES is so much fun! Right?

Well... I'm not ready to totally admit the err of my ways. But I will admit that too much of anything is just that - to damned much! My body basically feels like shit. The alcohol+cigarettes+no sleep+no water+bad food=not a good combo for weight loss. The only reason I don't think I've gained a ton is that I have constantly been on the move for about 4 weeks. We just got off of a two week fall break that was busy, busy, busy. So I didn't have a chance to sit around and eat a lot - and after drinking all night I really don't feel like eating until after at least noon. (can you tell I'm being honest here?)

I guess I need a dose of honesty right now - for myself. Once I started being honest with myself, I knew it was time to slow my ass down. So, over the past few days I've been trying to move in the right direction. I've stopped smoking (don't know why I started - I only smoke when I drink). I cut my alcohol consumption to only 2 days last week. And today, on my first day back at work, I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch. AND drank water. Something happened last week that made it all so clear to me. I know what I need to do.

Welcome back to blogland, Hollie. There are lots of us out here cheering for you. Sounds like you made some good realizations and that you are definitely on the right track. Come read my post about vitamin D.....I bet you could use some...like the rest of us! :)

I'm glad you're back. I missed reading your blog. You're doing what I wish I'd done back in my yo-yo dieting days: being honest. Oh the lies I told myself! That you're coming clean and really thinking about what you've done and where you want to be...that's 99 percent of the battle right there. Makes facing the scale a little easier.