IF folks around town seem a little chunkier, a little belchier than usual, it’s not just because it’s tourist season — blame it on the annual NYC Restaurant Week, which wraps this Friday.

All you mathemagicians out there might have already realized this so-called “week” has somehow mutated into three. This means triple the waiter attitude and triple the sub-par menus at rip-off prices.

If you’re longing for the good old days of Restaurant Week, when it was kind of a locals’ novelty thing, we’ve got five less world-famous events around the country you might want to check out.

1) NEW ORLEANS August 1-September 30

Why here? Don’t be fooled by the seemingly innocuous pun — New Orlean’s COOLinary event is hardcore, bayou-grade face stuffing over a two month span. Use the time to brush up on the city’s pricey classics, such as Arnaud’s and Tujague’s.

Don’t miss: Lunch at Galatoire’s, which starts with a creole tomato and watermelon salad, followed by mussels St. Pierre and banana bread pudding for dessert. $20.

Info: Meals from $20; nomcvb.com

2) MIAMI August 1-September 30

Why here? The annual Miami Spice event spans sixty days and includes about 100 restaurants, from South Beach to Bal Harbour. After extensive research, we can report that it is highly unlikely there are 100 restaurants from South Beach to Bal Harbour worth shelling out for. Still, we can think of a few that we’d like a lot more if they cost a lot less.

Don’t miss: London’s Alan Yau finally brings his famous, Michelin-starred Hakkasan concept stateside with a seductive space at the Fontainebleau. Dinner here is just $35. Can one even get a glass of water at the original Hakkasan for $35?

Info: Meals from $22; ilovemiamispice.com

3) BALTIMORE August 7-16

Why here? The next premium cable series that wants to focus on crime in Baltimore should probably shine a spotlight on the dangers that lurk in the surrounding waters. The rampant crustaceacide Maryland is so famous for would almost be unconscionable if it weren’t for such a good cause – namely, the best crabs and crab-related foods on the continent. Try everything during Charm City’s annual Restaurant Week, which this year is focusing on other local/regional/organic offerings as well.

Don’t miss: Dinner at b Bistro, one of the more popular addresses in town. Start with the Baked Chesapeake Oysters (supercharged with local bacon) and move on to your choice of 10 entrees, from Roasted Pork Belly with a bean cassoulet to the Provencale Monkfish Stew. Dessert, too, all for just $30.09.

Info: Meals from $20.09; baltimorerestaurantweek.com

4) LAS VEGAS August 31-September 6

Why here? Behind Sin City’s own restaurant week (here it’s actually just one week long!) is Three Square, a collaboration between local non-profits, UNLV, government agencies and volunteers that donate rescued food to children and the needy in Southern Nevada. Basically, if you don’t attend, you hate babies and America. Do you want that on your conscience?

Don’t miss: The long-running Michael Mina flagship operation at Bellagio will be participating; start here, and work your way down a growing list of big-name participants, from Joel Robuchon to Hubert Keller to Rick Moonen and beyond.

Info: Meals from $30.09; threesquare.org

5) DETROIT September 18-27

Why here? Facing its worst economy since the French arrived to hawk cheap furs to the Indians, Motown is rolling out its first annual restaurant week. Just think of the conversation-starter potential: “Oh, hey there Billy Bob, did you do anything fun this weekend?” “Sure did, Jimbo — I just got back from Detroit’s first annual Restaurant Week!” “Far out!”

Don’t miss: No menus available yet, but the list is growing; start off at Iron Chef Michael Symon’s sexy new Roast, then move on the pride and joy of the downtown dining scene, Iridescence, which boasts four AAA diamonds and a killer city view.