Toddlers & Tiaras puts its spotlight on the Miss Sugarplum Pageant in Valdosta, Ga, this week. Sadly, while the location may change, the story stays the same as mother-enforced sibling rivalry once again rears its ugly head.

How did our darling divas handle it in tonight's episode? Let's chug some Red Bull and discuss...

Logan, Run! OK, Logan's mom, let us get this straight. Your 2-year-old has eczema, a chronic inflammatory skin condition, so you enter her into competitions that are primarily based on physical beauty? Riiiiight. Then she accidentally burns Logan with a curling iron.

Elmer Fudge? Not only does Paisley own a costume to commemorate the first day of hunting season, but her folks have a charming nickname for the 2-year-old: The Little Turd. Klassy!

For Your Consideration: Props to the T&T editors for the creating a talking-head snarkfest between interviews with pageant director Amanda Kirk and Logan's mother, Sherry. For example, Amanda says, "Some moms are crazy, and I think they're living through their child." Cut to Sherry: "I did do one pageant in high school and I got Miss Congeniality. I've never been a Queen."

Quote of the Night: After scoring a raging sugar high via Skittles, Smarties and Ring Pops, Paisley proceeds to stuff herself into a locker and in the process rips off her hairpiece. She then starts peeling of her nail tips, one by one. When Paisley's mom, Wendy, asks what happened to her nails, P sagely replies, "They lost their way." Ha!

Meltdown Grand Supreme: Logan's and Paisley's missed naps become pretty evident during Outfit of Choice, where both girls are so. over. it. Jeez, you'd think they were little kids or something.

Surprise, Surprise: Supposed front-runner Karley only lands 1st Runner-Up in her and her sister's age group, with older sis Kylie taking Queen. Logan also nabs Queen in her age division, which will hopefully make up for Sherry's lost childhood and allow her daughter to now have one. Paisley scores the higher-ranking Supreme Queen in the same age group, and announces that she's going to buy some cheese dip with her cash prize. Hey, whatever makes you feel like a winner.