Green Smoothies

Easy Health Tip: Drink Your Veggies (And Actually Enjoy Them)

So, I crammed that all into my blender, added a couple of cups of water, and set the Osterizer to vaporize, and this is what I got.

Holy hemorrhaging hemorrhoids, that looks awful. Guess what? It tasted even worse than it looked. The beet was definitely a mistake. A lot of it was a mistake. I still managed to choke it down through a sheer force of will, but my wife took one sip and said, “No way.” I don’t blame her, as it tasted like dog food that had been eaten, barfed up, eaten, then barfed up again.

I wrote about my woes and received advice on Facebook. I began to experiment and eventually figured out a way to drink veggies in a way that also tastes good. Here's what I learned:

MUST HAVE:A bananaSome flavored yogurt (non-fat is fine — that’s what I used)

You don’t need much yogurt, but these two things make it taste a lot more tolerable. I also recommend a small amount of lemon juice dashed in to help kill the bitterness.

AVOID:Beets (No beets! Really.)AsparagusCarrotsAnything that you would normally cook that is overly fibrous

These things don’t blend well, and they don’t go down well. Sure, they may be fine in a juicer, but we’re not juicing here, we’re blending. It’s all going in your gullet, and these types of vegetables are just too chunky — and therefore gross when in drink form.

OPTIONAL: AvocadoBell pepper

I thought the avocado made things a little thick. They are also both higher in calories and very tasty, so why not just eat them instead? Bell peppers also taste good, so you can just eat those too. Same goes for the carrots mentioned above. This is about blending up the vegetables you normally have a hard time eating enough of.

WHAT GOES IN MINE:After quite a bit of experimentation, adding in the required banana, yogurt (vanilla-flavored is good) and a dash of lemon juice, and maybe some grapes, I add:BroccoliKaleA handful of mixed greens bought in one of those plastic tubs. This includes a wide variety of lettuces, mizuna, chard, spinach, arugula, frisée and radicchio.

Now, I don’t even know what some of that stuff is, but I assume it’s good.

Don’t forget to add cold water to about the halfway mark, and blend the snot out of that sucker. Sorry, I shouldn’t use the word “snot” in reference to something you’re about to drink. Especially since it’s green:

Anyway, it’s not bad. It’s not a milkshake, but it’s actually okay. My wife will even drink it, and you should too.

When? Well, if you have a regular day job, I recommend doing it right when you get home from work — that way, it can keep your stomach busy while you wait for dinner to be ready so you don’t go snacking on something sugary or fatty.

Whenever and however you do it, just get that stuff in your body. It may not have a noticeable effect on how you feel right now, but a few decades from now, it can be the difference between having your health and living in a hospital bed with tubes sticking into your orifices.

So there you have it. The choice is yours: a veggie drink now or a plastic tube later? Choose wisely.