Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The wind blew on my face. I’m watching the sun as it magnificently sets and rest. I glanced at the water that is hitting my feet. I sighed, wondering what will I do. I just can’t seem to think of anything. My mind is restless. My heart is empty.

“Arrgghh.. “I screamed.Tears flowing from my eyes, I looked up unmindful of the person on my back. My friend knew what I have been through so she just let me be.

“Jo, just let go.” She said. I looked at her, she’d been with me since my dilemma began.
“How? When it’s all coming back to me?”

She stared into my eyes, I saw pity on them. I looked away, she handed me something that seems to be an invitation and another card.

“Here, it arrived earlier. I guess it’s a wedding invitation.” She was about to leave when she remembered something. “Jo, your editor called as well as the publisher. They’re asking when will you end your “vacation”. You see, since you’ve received that news, you dumped writing just like a stinky rubbish.” She turned her back on me then spoke again “Please come back to your old self, write again, breathe again. Be the friend that I knew. Wake up!” she ran away from me. I stared at theenvelopes that I am holding.

Tears welling up again, I cried hard as night arises. Cold wind on my body numbing my being. I don’t want to write anymore, I don’t want to think – I just want to rest. But my friend is right, I have been sulking for a long time now. Feeling depressed for a stupid reason, something that I cannot bring back because all has been lost.

I took a deep breath and stood up. I plan to check the invitations when I’m in the comfort of my bed. I took a last look at the calm sea. How I wish I can be just the water flowing, free.

“I can do it, no, I must do it.” I bravely told myself. I need to move on. Forget about “it” and continue living. The light of the moon guided me back into the rest house. I hope tomorrow will be a brand new day. My life will have a new chapter, moving on and letting go.

********

They look so lovely, no, lovely is an understatement. The couples look wonderful. The congregation can see the loving look and passion in their eyes. It was a dream wedding, the ambiance is so light and everyone had this kind of look that showed their happiness for the couples. It was the double wedding of my co-writers in the Publication house that I am working.

I don’t know what I’m doing here, for goodness sake! It’s a wedding for crying out loud. And the last place I want to be is a wedding. But as my friends, Len and Athena – the brides, clearly stated that they wanted to see me together with the other writers, I couldn’t say no.

I feel better now, the last night was a far cry from before. I had my much needed sleep, my mind at peace. I feel revitalized and renewed. Waking up away from my zombie zone was a fresh start. Now I am ready to be the person that my friends knew.

“Hey Ate, natutuwa kami at nandito ka na ulit. The dyosa is alive!” Camae said as she gently hugged me. My sweet Camae and the other young writers approached me

“They are so bagay talaga, hayyyy…” Tanya said with a heavy sigh.

“Ate!!!!!” Josel screamed, I looked around embarrassed because the other guests are staring at us. “Shhh, calm down Jos,” I told her.

“E kasi naman na miss kita. Kamusta?”

I was about to answer her when someone pinched my butt. “What the…….!” I turned around and saw the smirking face of Ate Em. Instead of being pissed, I smiled. Ate Em just smiled back, she knew.

I was just so glad to be with my friends again. Suddenly, my strength was renewed.

“I presume, you’ll be back in my office with your new Manuscripts again, dear.” I almost jumped when I heard the voice of the owner of the publishing house. It’s Mr. James Roy Rivera, the former well-known singer.

“Hello Sir, Ma’am,” I glanced at the direction of her beautiful wife,Devon. “I guess I am.”

“Very well, we hope to see you soon. We’ve received a lot, I mean a bulk letters from your readers. Nagtatanong sila kung kalian ang sunod na gawa mo.” I just smiled and they left for Mr. Rivera have some errands to do.

“Girls, salamat sa pagpunta nyo sa double wedding naming ni Athena.” Len said. Her pen name was “Bitemegenesis” and Athena’s “Ancheena21”. They are the senior writers of the publication. Though they will leave for their separate honeymoon.

“Congratulations and best wishes for both of you. Finally, Na inlove na kayong dalawa.” I said, then I giggled. These two ladies are so hard to impress but I am happy that they have finally found someone, like the hero in their beautiful novels.

Then and idea hit me. “Why not.” I said to myself as I glance upon the pairs dancing. Love clearly stated on their faces. Overjoyed by that strong feelings for each other. “Ahh love, makapangyarihan ka nga. Kaya mong bumuo at wumasak.”

Then, I gave a secret look to my co-writers. I smiled and laughter filled my brain. I am going insane, no I had been crazy for so long. Now its time to go back.