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Friday, October 31, 2014

Here writing from my last blog about the moment of physical
reaction coming up when speaking to people about the product I am selling, and
my face becoming red as if I am uncomfortable within myself and this a sign for
all to see.

Excerpt from my last blog:

"I became emotional when I interpreted a person saying something negatively about me to my partner, and that I was then going to be judged by this person as not worthy. So from this moment on, I was in reaction, it was towards the end of the day, though I still had one other moment that I am going to write self forgiveness on and practical corrective application. This was a few moments after I reacted, another vendor came over and I was put on the spot to discuss what our product was about. I was not ready for this because within myself I was trying to get stable after taking that moment before personally."

Here I will start with slowing that moment down when I started to
notice my face was going red. I remember speaking and within my mind going into
an experience of discomfort and an emotional experience of wanting to give up
and feeling alone, like I can never get
close to anyone because they will just judge me and see and/or say that I am not
good enough. So based on this interpretation me believing I was told by this man I was
not a good sales person and allowing this to effect my future interactions, not
considering all the factors that were involved within this moment, I then
brought this reaction and belief through to the next moment with the vendor asking me about what our product was about causing the interaction not to be my best effort, but tainted with reactions and blame.

These reactions are showing my own self judgment's being projected onto the external reality. Tall tale signs of me wanting to escape facing myself and who I have become in these moments of high energy reactions and the actions that it'll take to change in these moments, which is the road less traveled so to speak as it's not an easy path and something that I resist. But I realize without a doubt that it is absolutely worth it, for more on this I will write in later blogs, but here I will walk self forgiveness on this moments with the cheeks and points that were involved with this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe in the belief I have created about myself that others are trying to put
me down and harm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
blame this belief I have of myself as not being good enough onto others within
a state of self victimization where I believe I am powerless to others and
there effects on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
victimize myself and project this inherent blame of the way in which I am
experiencing myself as the victim and powerless onto others in my world and
reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
project blame onto others within my world and in my reality based on me holding
onto a belief that others are trying to harm me and abuse me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a belief within myself of me
being powerless to others based on the energy experience I have accepted within
me of feeling inferior and diminished around others because of something they
said or did in my presence that I took as a personal attack or abuse towards
me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abdicate responsibility within not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I
am the creator of this experience of inferiority and diminishment within me due
to judging myself within myself in ways of seeing myself as not doing well within
this event and comparing myself to other people around me, and so then believe
within me that that is what everyone else is doing and saying about me in their minds and also in my perception I have defined within there actions towards me within their gestures and even words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take other peoples words, gestures, or ideas, beliefs, imaginations within my
own mind personal and believe that this is who I am when I see, realize, and
understand and have proven to myself that when I move as breath here and align
with my body and act, I am able to perform in a manner that I am satisfied with
and that is aligned with my expression, and so I see, realize, and understand
that I have a decision to make in these moments to either go into a point of diminishment
experience of things that are not based on fact and reality, and so can not be
trusted or walk what is here, what is stable, what I can trust, myself in
action here as I breath, aligned with the physical and who I am here in the
moment of speaking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge myself as bad in the moment of believing I was being judged and so I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own
judgments and comparison of myself as not good enough onto another person and
then accept that I am being held down and abused, when I see, realize, and
understand that I am doing this to myself, I am abusing myself in my own mind,
and not changing in those moments to what is stable, what supports me as life
and my expression, and what creates me as life and that is through my living
here in the moment as I speakand stopping my participation in these thoughts, energy experiences, and my mind within memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
in that moment of judgment towards myself in my mind as doing bad when explaining the product to the vendor and thinking he must
see me really being pathetic within trying to explain this, and so react within a
physical moment of embarrassment accepting and allowing this moment to define
me as a point of proof that I am bad through defining and judging myself as not doing good cause my face went red.

I forgivemyself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for going red in the face
when I speak and react, and believe I am less then the other person talking
because of me being uncomfortable visibly in front of them and going red, when I realize, see, and understand this is not in fact real, I am making this up, and it does not benefit me in anyway, so I realize I can change in that moment, let the mind go and the beliefs and judgments, and move myself beyond that limitation into immediate correction which is here within myself in awareness in what direction I will walk next as I speak in my expression in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
hold onto that memory of me being seen in the moment of going red in the face
and visible being uncomfortable as a reminder that I am less then others and go
into that sinking feeling of powerlessness when I remember the moment I go red
and what that feeling felt like, when I realize, see, and understand that it is
not defining me here, it is an occurrence that I can learn from and realize how
to correct the point, but I also realize, see, and understand that it’s just an
energy experience of powerlessness, I am not this actually, I can move myself
in each moment and change myself in what direction I will to what makes sense in the moment and what will benefit all and so myself, walking common sense and real time application within breathing, correcting, and living.

I will continue with the self correction writing and
re-defining some relevant words within these current blogs I am doing, thanks for
reading and stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I am continuing with the work event that I had gone to
last week, where I was faced with a challenge of moving through my limitations
of speaking to strangers about promoting my product I am selling for the
population. Now within myself, again I am resistant to speaking to strangers, I
have been shy most of my life, and more then not have detracted myself from any
real point of interaction and having to speak to new people. This is more based
on the energy that comes up within me when I am facing people and speaking,
especially in this setting where I have to initiate conversation and direct it
to an end goal. One of the more frightful energies that comes up is the
embarrassment energy, this one was one I experienced throughout my life and
when it came to speaking, I really didn’t like putting myself in that position
where possibly I could miss my words, not know what to say, or fall completely and have to experience the emotional experience of embarrassment energy.

Within one of the interaction at this event, I was put in
this exact position, which for my mind was like “ah shit no, I don’t want to do
this”, but for self here walking process and moving through these points of
challenge, I am saying to myself bring it on. So I accepted the challenge and put
myself out there. I was new to this sort of business of selling as well as new
to face to face direct sales using certain sales tactics to get the person in a
short period of time to see the value of our product. I was uncomfortable doing
this because I have not yet done this sort of way of communication very often, and only had a few
other events I have gone to before this, so I am still learning and uncertain on how it'll go next.

From my last blog, I discussed about how I became
emotional when I interpreted a person saying something negatively about me to
my partner, and that I was then going to be judged by this person as not
worthy. So from this moment on, I was in reaction, it was towards the end of
the day, though I still had one other moment that I am going to write self
forgiveness on and practical corrective application. This was a few moments
after I reacted, another vendor came over and I was put on the spot to discuss
what our product was about. I was not ready for this because within myself I
was trying to get stable after taking that moment before personally.

I started
speaking and in my mind I was judging myself as bad, and this person is
probably seeing me as terrible, and I am going to do horribly within this
business, and then while speaking to this man, I reacted physically with my face turning bright red. I could
feel my face heat up and the color change from stable to red, and I then
started flubbing up my words and just trying to stay afloat within the
conversation. I eventually got through it, and after I stabilized had a
look at what caused such a reaction of specifically my face going red, and how
can I change this to prevent it next time to be stable with all the walks of life in the
future I will meet and definitely communicate with.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

So this past week I was in a situation where I was
forced to push through my limitations, this for all intense and purposes is a
very cool experience and one I welcome as it births growth of self. This
experience I was having to directly speak to people I had never seen or spoken
to before about a business venture that I am currently pursuing. For me
speaking to people face to face has always been something I avoided especially
people I did not know. I experience within myself anxiety, fears, and also
memories of being embarrassed in the past of moments where it didn’t go as
expected. So as I approached this event, my mind started to bring up these very
familiar emotions along with the thoughts and memories of failure and dread and
what ifs, so this all comes up as the event draws closer. In the past, I would
always find distractions or simply would not put myself out there because at
that time I had no tools to support me to move beyond these very intense and
uncomfortable emotional experiences going on inside of me, I just allowed these
thoughts and emotions to overwhelm me. When I did face these situations of
having to speak and direct conversations into a specific way, I would get
overwhelmed and allow the experience to overwhelm me and perform less then
ideally, where I would never go beyond my limitations, but inevitably
compromise my true potential.

Here I will start with self forgiveness and self correction statements on some
points that came up through the two day event that I say was part of this ‘self-compromise’
character I go into, so I can find the ways where I can support myself in those
moments, and change to be the best potential I can be. Because why not? I
realize that there is no one stopping me, but myself, and I have the drive to
succeed and become the true potential that I am capable of.

There was one moment where a person compared me to my
partner and not in words, but in my interpretation of what he was saying. I
interpreted it as him saying that I was not worth being teamed up with because
I was not doing well within my sales pitch. Now, this is the way in which I
interpreted his words, his gestures, his physical presence, and many other
subtle factors, but this is not in fact what actually was going on as I don’t
know what he meant by his words. I never asked directly to know and I also
never introspected the moment to see where I compromised myself or sabotaged
myself. As it’s important to remember and focus on for myself when pushing
through limitations is that no one outside of you can define you and/or has
power over you, you are the direct principle within yourself, and so any point
that doesn’t go well or you preform less then ideal, you can remediate this
through writing for instance, and find the correction to walk in future moments
with. This for me is key to understand and implement into my living, as I would
have used this moment of interpretation to sabotage myself and not approach
others due to fear of the same experience happening again. This I did not do,
but before I go there I will walk the self forgiveness and self correction to
this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a belief about myself through another persons gestures, communication
style, eye movements, and judgments I have made that I am being seen as not as
important or good as another person I am working with and so judge myself as
less then others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through
external factors direct my living into self compromise by myself creating a judgment
that I am less then others, when I realize, see, and understand that the
external does not define me nor does it create who I am, I do this within my
own living and what I do in these moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe my mind when I see it within me saying that I am being judged as
inferior and being seen as not worth being within in terms of being part of a
team.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
project my own fears and judgments against myself onto the external world in
where I can abdicate responsibility to change and blame it on this man who I interpreted
as judging me in this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
abdicate responsibility to my own judgments and my own thoughts and blame it on
external factors based on the idea that I am not strong enough to change and
that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a belief of myself that I am not strong enough to face my mind within my
judgments of myself and that I will fail at attempts to change myself in my
living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge and inferiorize myself with others and make my living be in accordance
with what my mind is doing within each moment instead of stopping my mind in
the moment, and directing myself within common sense and self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compare myself to others within the event and see myself as doing not as well
as others, and believing this is showing that I am not as good as others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create these thoughts within myself that I am not as good as others based on a
in the moment judgment of myself not taking into consideration the context of
the situation and that each one is in their own process walking themselves into
stability, and this walk is different for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
compromise the rest of that day’s event where I was in my mind judging myself
and projecting anger and blame to this man, when within myself I could have
taken responsibility, changed myself in the moment, and walked the tools that
were necessary in self honesty to be change my living to be best for me and
best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
exist in the mind in that day’s event and miss opportunities to move myself
here in the moment into real time self change.

When and as I see I am going into my backchat and judging
myself about who I am in that moment in a specific situation, I stop and
breath, and realize that these judgments and backchat thoughts will come out as
projections and blame in my physical reality, and so compromise my living and
who I can be with others to be less then my utmost potential.

So I commit myself to in the moment I see I am going into backchat thoughts of judgment
towards myself or others, I stop and change in the moment to be physical and
write on the point as soon as I am able to to direct the point and ground it
into change for myself.

I commit myself to stop the judgments of myself in my mind
before a big event and correct myself into grounding myself through breathing
and self forgiveness and self correction.

I commit myself to stop comparing myself with others in the
moment and find where I can learn from others.

I commit myself to breath and move myself in the moment in a
way that pushes my self expression here as I breath with no thoughts.

I commit to stop my thoughts and judgments, and accept all
as myself and walk what is best for all.

I will continue on with my realizations and writing on this
work event in my next blog, thanks for reading.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

So within then next series of blogs on the living income I would like to discuss, I will be writing on the solution
oriented mindset of current plans and actions around the globe that are
happening, and how within this capacity and even greater one’s a living income as
proposed by the equal life foundation will be able to facilitate these actions
on greater scales.

An article I read tonight was about how in Salt Lake City they
are implementing a change in the way they handle the homeless called
“Housing First”. Where they give people an opportunity of a better life by
giving them a home to live in furnished, and a more supportive environment for
their transition into a new way of life. This foundational support of housing and access to health services, give them the time to be able to walk the process necessary to change their lives.

Before this program was
implemented in Salt Lake City like so many other cities, the state and police
force were criminalizing homelessness and sending these unfortunate people into
jail because they didn’t have a place to go. So the cycle would continue, they
would arrest homeless people on the streets, in the park, or on private
properties and send them to jail. Where they would get released in the morning
and go back to the same locations, and then the next night would get arrested
again. This obviously not making much sense nor supporting those who require
support. The money that was being spent to do all of this was not being used
for the purposes of supporting these people, but to put a band aid solution
onto the problem that did not support either side nor was economically viable
or efficient as the problem never get’s solved.

“The cost of shelters, emergency-room visits, ambulances, police, and so on quickly piles up. Lloyd Pendleton, the director of Utah’s Homeless Task Force, told me of one individual whose care one year cost nearly a million dollars, and said that, with the traditional approach, the average chronically homeless person used to cost Salt Lake City more than twenty thousand dollars a year. Putting someone into permanent housing costs the state just eight thousand dollars, and that’s after you include the cost of the case managers who work with the formerly homeless to help them adjust. The same is true elsewhere. A Colorado study found that the average homeless person cost the state forty-three thousand dollars a year, while housing that person would cost just seventeen thousand dollars.” (1)

So the cost of supporting those who are having trouble in their life versus

perpetuating the same non productive cycles of using the public resources is not even making a dent as the homeless numbers still continue to rise. Through taking the time and effort to create a plan like has been implemented in salt lake city is much more economically feasible and socially responsible as not only is it supporting people to create a better life, but it’s creating an environment for the community that is more equal and wholesome. No more are we seeing the problem just continue to proliferate, but there is a start of a solution put in place to support these people and in so doing create a better life and living environment for all. These people who are getting the support of the “Housing First” in salt lake city are now becoming productive citizens in their communities and able to create a stable live for themselves and for their families.

“Housing First isn’t just cost-effective. It’s more effective, period. The old modelassumed that before you could put people into permanent homes you had to deal with their underlying issues—get them to stop drinking, take their medication, and so on. Otherwise, it was thought, they’d end up back on the streets. But it’s ridiculously hard to get people to make such changes while they’re living in a shelter or on the street. ‘If you move people into permanent supportive housing first, and then give them help, it seems to work better,’ Nan Roman, the president and C.E.O. of the National Alliance for Homelessness, told me. ‘It’s intuitive, in a way. People do better when they have stability.’ Utah’s first pilot program placed seventeen people in homes scattered around Salt Lake City, and after twenty-two months not one of them was back on the streets. In the years since, the number of Utah’s chronically homeless has fallen by seventy-four per cent.” (1)

This proving that when people are supported within a basic
means as these people were given a place to stay and support for them to get
back on a stable platform, they will thrive. With a living income that has no strings attached and is their for their benefit, will create
results that not only gives dignity and health back to those who are
participating in it, but it supports the whole community to
flourish and become a place of growth and development.

The living income guarantee will work in such a way as with
the salt lake city homeless project, supporting and living within the principle
of doing what is best for all, obviously we see when we use our resources and
money to support the wellbeing of others and the wellbeing of the environment,
we have results that is conducive and supportive of the upliftment of the
people that need it the most, those without money or resources. And also the
collateral benefit is also the community starts to thrive with less crime, less
drugs and alcohol on the streets,

and more vitality breathed into these places
as the homeless get there feet back and can start to contribute to the community and feel proud within themselves for being able to do so. People who become homeless do so for
reason that is systemic, either they are caught in addiction perpetuated by our
consumer society, or they ran out of resources, or have mental health problems with
no real option’s for solution and care. So it’s a position of many factors
causing the problem that will in turn have to be addressed on a more wholistic and systemic basis, but as we see with
the "housing first" project, even small steps gives way to opening for this process to create a better life for all.

Money is a medium that is able to support and grow life into
a best for all scenario as this example was set forth with the successful
integration of stable living for the homeless in salt lake city. Or on the other hand, money can be
used in ways that is not supportive, where money is wasted and spent in dead
end ventures due to greed and an inability to move in a direction and willingness
to fix what is broken in our current system. We have a choice and a decision to make within ourselves to what way of life would we like for not only ourselves, but the future generations that are to come. Living income guarantee by the equal life foundation is setting the path forward to on a systematic level give All those who are in need support financially, which
will give way to having more access to resources and time to stabilize our lives into a way that is dignified. The living income proposal will
counterbalance the current mindset of feeding off of those who are not able to
support themselves as we’ve seen with the credit card industry for an obvious instance, and again give
a path to support all in this world as self would want to be supported and
doing what is best for everyone here on this planet.

The example with the Salt Lake City project shows that when
people are given the conditions to have a chance to support themselves they will thrive as living beings, though this process has to be actualized as it's just in certain areas now for specific causes. The living income guarantee proposal will create the path for all people in this world to be giving an income if in need to get there feet back on the ground and time to move themselves in the direction that will be best for them and so best for all. Supporting and giving to life as self will always be given back to self eventually, as "what you give you will receive" says an ancient proverb and it remains true to this day.