What Is The Best Way To Spend Your Money In Retirement? The Multi-Generational Family Getaway

Whether it is a family gathering, an annual vacation to a part of the world you’ve always wanted to visit, buying life experiences for loved ones is probably your best investment. (Photo by: iStockPhoto.com)iStockPhoto.com

One of the best parts of my job is getting to tell couples that they could afford to spend more money. Frequently, that is the positive outcome of saving and investing well over a lifetime of work. And when this news is greeted with “Why would I want to spend more money, I have what I need.” I am quick to clarify that I am not suggesting acquiring more things, but rather upping their happiness quotient by spending money on experiences.

Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University has spent 20 years researching what makes people happy. He has looked closely at the relationship between buying things vs. experiences and happiness. “People often think spending money on an experience is not as wise an investment as spending it on a material possession. They think the experience will come and go in a flash, and they’ll be left with little compared to owning an item. But in reality we remember experiences long afterward, while we soon become used to our possessions.”

According to Dr. Gilovich, one of the enemies of happiness is adaptation. And not only do we adapt to our possessions, they grow old, lose their shine and marketers are very good at making the next shiny object seem much more desirable. In sharp contrast, our remembered experiences grow warmer and better with time. Even that family vacation where everything went wrong becomes a shared memory that generates good stories and laughs in retrospect!

The first time I heard the advice to buy experiences rather than things, I recognized it as the same wisdom that I have seen played out in my own family for years now.

Walter Weinstein, my father-in-law, hosts a family vacation every year and picks up the tab for the entire group. Through his generosity, he has taught us all some incredible life lessons—memories last, family relationships sustain you, and the happiness that comes with experience outlasts any bit of stuff you can buy.

After a lifetime of hard work, good investment, and personal sacrifice, Walter is 93-years-young, and in the enviable position of being able to buy most anything he wants. But, every year, instead of getting flashy jewelry or a new car, he sponsors an expensive family getaway. Why would he do this? Because he knows, deep in his heart that the lasting memories of family time, the reinforced network of extended family relationships, and the sense of “clan” are worth so much more than any thing money could buy now or later.

For four days each year, the extended Weinstein family, including aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, children, grandchildren—and even great-grandchildren now—drive or fly in to the Poconos to stay at a wonderful family-style resort. We spend time as a family playing games, relaxing at the “beach,” taking hikes, biking, and just generally getting caught up with each other. The resort has a comedy club, live music and entertainment, parties, festivals, and family games so there is plenty to keep our multi-generational crowd happy. I think the most valuable part of the entire trip is when we all reconvene for family-style meals in the dining room. It can get raucous with ten conversations all going on at once, but the feeling of connectedness is palpable.

Our daughter, Erica, is an only child and while that was absolutely the best choice for our immediate family, thanks to Walter’s generosity, Erica knows what it is to be part of a much larger family. She has strong connections with relatives that she might otherwise only see every few years—if at all. Her connection to her grandfather is especially strong, which is really good for both of them! And the best part, the connections were formed through shared activities and shared events over a prolonged stretch of time, not just for a few hours at Thanksgiving dinner or a wedding celebration.

I am so grateful to Walter. We are all grateful for his wisdom. When my father-in-law passes, he will leave a little less money to his family, but will have provided a priceless legacy. I believe we of the next generation will strive to sustain the tradition for our children and our grandchildren.

So, I offer you this lesson from my father-in-law, Walter, if you are wondering how you can spend your money wisely—and keep it out of Uncle Sam’s hands—spend it on experiences. Whether it is a family gathering, an annual vacation to a part of the world you’ve always wanted to visit, riding lessons for your grandchild, or holiday parties that your great-grandchildren will remember when they have great-grandchildren, buying life experiences for loved ones is probably your best investment.