Entries tagged with school

Racism. We’ve all experienced it in one way or another. That is to say, we’ve witnessed it, participated in it (either consciously or subconsciously), or we’ve been on the receiving end of it.

I’m bringing this up, because I want to share the story of my first kiss with anyone who may read this.

First, a little background, for those who may not know: I was born in Asheville, North Carolina, but most of my life was intermittently spent 75 miles south of my hometown, in the Greenville/Spartanburg area of South Carolina. I began school in SC, but moved back to Asheville for a period of time after my parents’ divorce. There was a short period of time that Granny, Aunt Tudi, and I returned to SC, meaning I spent my entire 1st Grade in SC, prior to the break-up, as well as a portion of my 2nd Grade, which was split between Black Mountain Elementary in NC and Reidville Elementary in SC. We returned to Asheville shortly after the events I’m writing about here occurred. But, much to my dismay and displeasure at the age of 13, Granny and Aunt Tudi took me back to SC, where I finished school and worked for over 30 years. I objected to relocating back to SC then, and I’m still pissed about it to this very day. My first kiss is one of the primary reasons why.

I got my first kiss in the second grade. It wasn’t on my lips or my cheek. I was kissed on the hand. I was so excited something like this had happened, because I was always picked on about everything, from my weight to my clothes, and everything in between. I was mocked for not knowing the correct bible verses to recite, and denied that wondrous, magical silver star sticker by my name because of my affront to god. I assumed no one liked me and I would never fit in.

The little boy who kissed me like a knight would a princess was named Sam, and he was Black. But that didn’t matter to me at the age of 7. What mattered to me was I had been shown affection by someone outside my family. Out of glee, I told our teacher, clutching my right hand to my heart with my left. I wanted to shout it to the world! For once, something good happened to me when I was around other kids. For once, I felt like a part of the outside world.

I should never have said a thing to anyone.

My joy turned into regret, humiliation, guilt, and rage when the teacher ordered Sam to the front of the class. She told him he wasn’t allowed to kiss white girls, and he was made to apologise to me. He was in tears, I was in tears, and the kids in the class pointed and laughed at both of us. The teacher then made Sam go stand in the corner for thirty minutes.

When I got home, I told Aunt Tudi what had happened. I didn’t understand. That’s when she told me about Blacks in the South, how they had been slaves and, when they were freed, some of the whites had formed groups to make sure these ex-slaves didn’t get “uppity.” This was the first time I heard about the Ku Klux Klan, and how they would not only threaten and kill Blacks, but they would also do the same to their supporters. She told me how she had seen a cross burning in a neighbour’s yard back in 1966, in South Carolina. They were Civil Rights supporters. I was advised to be quiet about any interaction with the Black kids in my class, for their protection.

I was horrified.

What’s worse is Sam avoided me after that day. I’ve always wondered if he did so because he was afraid, or if it was because he thought I had told on him because he was Black. I may never know. All I knew is that I lost a friend because of an expression of fondness. By the teacher’s example, an act of bigotry and cruelty was taught as appropriate behaviour on that day. Looking back on this, and so many other moments like it throughout my school days, I perceive it as affirmation that, although physical segregation was no longer practiced, mental segregation was very much in full effect, and has only flourished over the decades.

While we were being “encouraged” to memorise bible verses, we were also silently being indoctrinated into the categories we never chose for ourselves. Children are tabula rasa. Anything can be etched into their psyche to become a testimony to their environment and their generation. Instead of praising kids for public displays of affection, the status quo prefers to instill fear and hatred of differences. This is why our culture celebrates violence and curls its lip at love. This is why you can watch a person get shot on TV, but sex is reprehensible.

This is why racism still exists, and I doubt it will ever go extinct.

I’d like to think that Sam might somehow come across this journal entry, so the record can be set straight for him. I’d like to think that day in the classroom was his last experience with racism. But I’m a realist.

Just in case, though…

Sam, thank you for being my knight in shining armour that day, and I am so sorry for getting you in trouble. I hope you’re happy and healthy, and that you never stopped being such a sweet little dude. I hope you never shied away from your nature because our society’s priorities are so fucked up, and getting worse.

I've been incommunicado because I've been scrambling to keep up with all the crap being piled on me at school. Although I've handled most of it pretty well, I'm glad that it's almost over, even though I have another webcam speech to prepare and I have to do a Power Point presentation. I don't like doing in-person stuff. Just let me write about it all and remain happily quiet; however, I'm afraid that more speeches and presentations are in my educational future, so I'm going to force myself to get used to them via the fantastic medium of ..... webcam. Goddess help me. Woe unto the masses who find themselves starring at my scary face and listening to me babble! Surely it's another sign of the Alpaca Lips.

Last night, I took a wild hair and wrote this dude.. or group of dudes and dudettes.. or whoever/whatever they are. He/She/They wrote me back. Imagine that. The Joker Blogs troupe seem very open to responding to folks who reach out to them. So, if you take my wild hair, go ahead and do it and see what happens. I dare you. I double-dog dare you. Hell, I triple-dog dare ya, wise guys! In all seriousness, I'm deeply impressed by the actor who plays the Joker in these vignettes. He deserves some sort of recognition for keeping the character, as envisioned by Heath Ledger, alive and well and doing one hell of a job it. If you haven't, go watch the Joker Blogs in succession. If it doesn't tickle your funny bone, then you'll know you've been abducted by the Greys, who removed it under cover of the night.

I wrote my speech out last night. It took me all of 15 minutes. I just read it to Aunt Tudi. That took me all of 3 1/2 minutes. The presentation is required to be 3-5 minutes long, so I'm right within the window. What I'd like to do, is do my professional presentation whilst using my body to tell my teacher off, using various internationally-known "screw you" gestures; however, I believe that such behaviour would probably earn me an F and a visit from the Big Police.

So I shall refrain. Instead, I'll read my speech will all sorts of professionalism, with Aunt Tudi as my human teleprompter. She rocks, that Aunt Tudi.

I thought the Access project was due to day and that was all that was going on in the computer class. Noooo. Ms. Maher reminded everyone that we were also supposed to have the Access test today. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack when she told us that. So I opened up the test and went to it. Forty-five minutes later, I wrapped up the test and scored 100%. How I managed that, the Mighties alone know. Maybe it's because I've been slightly crazy lately, so I understood the technological schizophrenia that is Access. Really, I don't care about the reason. I'm just glad I passed the test.

Oh, I also got a progress report in Human Thought and Learning. I've got a 96.2% which means I'm exempt from the exam. I've really adored this class, so much so that I'm thinking of talking to my advisory about going into a program that would allow me to work in the psychology field or maybe some social work. Even though I despise humanity, I find the species fascinating and dealing with them seems to come naturally to me. Can you imagine? Tin: the Misanthropic Social Worker of Doooom!

Meh. It's time to work on my new FAFSA and see where I stand financially first. Then we'll see about possible education and career options.

Sometime this week, I have to do my 3 - 5 minute presentation on the importance of body language in human communication. I really dread this. First off, I have never been good at making speeches or doing presentations, even though some have told me I do fine at it. Secondly, I'll be using this blasted webcam, which freaks me out. My primary concern is trying to maintain eye contact with this teentsie camera resting at the top of my monitor. I'm not concerned with what I'm gonna say. I could write reams on human body language and how we communicate with each other (and other non-human Earthlings) without even knowing we're doing it or what we're saying. I really need to do this right, though, because I'm sucking in the class thanks to lack of communication between myself and my instructor. That's kind of sad, too, considering the class is called "Professional Communications." When the teacher eval came around for me to fill out, I gave this instructor a big, fat, undulating F.

Just finished the Excel test on which I made 100. Just because I know Excel doesn't mean I like it. I really despise the program. Always have, and I guess I always will. There's just something about it that pisses me off. Which reminds me of that joke told in Stephen King's 'Storm of the Century.' I'm paraphrasing here.

After withstanding all the horrors placed upon him, Job spoke to God. "Lord, I've been a faithful servant my entire life. I've always observed the Holy Days and adhered to all your laws and commandments. I've even made it through all the horrible trials you've placed upon me without my faith wavering one bit. So I ask you, Lord: why did you allow all these terrible things to happen to me, your most faithful and devoted servant?"

There was silence for a moment, then thunder clapped and God spoke: "Job -- I guess there's just something about you that pisses me off."

So yeah. I'm not saying I'm god and I'm not saying Excel is Job, but the same sentiment is there, at least for me. There's just something about it that pisses me right off and makes me want to headbutt the computer monitor. I'm glad we're moving on from here. I'm waiting for the last couple of people to finish the test, then we're off to do an extra credit quiz. After that, hopefully we'll be out of here.

I just took the "practice test" in my computer class, where I still am, by the way, and it was dead easy. Had it been the real test, I would have made 100, 'cos I was told that each answer I supplied was correct. Here I sit now, waiting on the rest of the class to finish up. This is interminable. I know I have to take this class as a requisite for the Health Unit Coordination program, but being with people who don't know as much about computers as I do is driving me mad. And that's a short drive, let me tell you. Hell, I could walk and save the gas, the trip to madness is so short. Well, I may use a moped to save the knees.

If I had my Joker file, I could work on my latest fic, "The Dentist's Date." Yes, it's inspired by my crescent tooth with the exposed nerve and yes, I already know the Scar Story for this fic. It's particularly unpleasant for anyone with dental issues or phobias. Yeeesh. Hopefully, I'll finish that today, if I can get out of this class early. But I doubt that's gonna happen. I'm surrounded by tackheads, but what should I expect? I'm in South Carolina aka The Armpit of Hell.

I got all narcissistic and submitted my Redeye Grandé story to the lj_turns10 community. I doubt they'll include it in the book, but at least I tried to be a bit proactive in getting published by any means necessary. Ha!

Oh gawd, this is such a drag. I want to go home, eat some yoghurt, and chill for a little bit before I have to go to work. Something tells me I won't get out of work until around midnight tonight. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. Gads. I've been up since 6:30 and I'm already so sleepy I could just fall out right here in class and drool all over the table. I wish she'd let those of us who are a little faster than the others do our thing and just go ahead and leave. But she won't. ::bangs head on desk:: I feel like a prisoner in the Computer Lab from Heck.

So far all my classes have been ridiculously easy. If they're all like this throughout the entire program, I'll graduate with honours in 2010. I'll then get to enjoy the fruits of my acedemic labour for approximately 2 years before all hell breaks loose. Go me!

So here I am sitting in the computer class room waiting for class to start. All I want to do is get home to my own computer and try to finish "The Nurse's Date" before I have to head to work. I'm being so bad with these fanfics. I'm just writing as hard and fast as I can because the imagery is pouring out of my brain and through my fingers, but I'm not taking time to proofread or any such activity in which a writer should naturally engage. All I'm concerned with is getting it done so I can get on with the next idea I have. It's horrid.

I wish that the inspiration was directed at The Blood Crown instead of fanfiction, but I'll take what I can get when it comes to inspiration striking me with a two-by-four.

Class should let out a little before Noon. It'll take me five minutes to get home. I'll then need to feed and water the cats and yip-yap with Aunt Tudi, which should give me a good hour to work on "The Nurse's Date." Can I do it? Can I finish and post it before the 1:30 deadline? We'll see. I hope.

The next one may be called "The Biker Chick's Date" because the song "Sex on Wheels" just seems so Joker-ish and I've been listening to that song a lot lately. So we'll see.

I worked 'til 12:30 this morning. I'm addlepated. Studying is not an option. Told Doc what the class was called: Human Thought and Learning. He agreed that the class (and the test) would be dead easy. I'm not worried. I'm just gonna cram and do my best.

Heheheheheheheh. I'm only human.

Here's to another day of adventure and four-legged angels in fur coats! Wheeeeeee!

I should be officially enrolled in school. Hopefully by next week, I'll be drawing unemployment as well. And I have me a new icon. With so many references to Barack Obama being Sheriff Bart, this just seems so apropos, especially with my being a rabid Mel Brooks fan. I wish to the Mighty Goddess that Cleavon Little and Richard Pryor were alive to see this moment in history. I still think that Obama should ride up to the inaugural podium on a horse and have someone hand him a laurel and hardy handshake. ::cackle::

Because I'm unemployed. I quit the Dollar General and I was let go for undisclosed reasons at Sally Foster.

This distresses me in one way. In another, it may allow me to get extra funding for school. So I'm trying my best to take the high road here but, after everything that's happened this year, I'm just ready to lie down and die. Die die die.

Well, it seems that I qualify for financial aid for schooling, based on the information I provided the government. Since I made so little money last year, I'm basically a shoe-in. I'm eying an AAS in Medical Office Management at Kaplan University because I can take all the classes online, which would allow me to work any hours necessary and still be in school. I just hope that I can get enough money to not have to take out any more loans, because I doubt they'd let me have any anyway, given my fabulous credit rating now.

I didn't have to wait nearly as long at the school today as I have the other days. Today was the day I would find out whether or not I would have to take any placement tests. Because of my extensive English courses in both high school and college, I was fine there. Math was a different matter. They set me up for a math test to see if I'd need to take any algebra courses. I went into the testing room resigned to the fact that I was about to make a spectacle of myself. It turns out that I did better than I expected and actually did well enough to not have to take any math courses. ::puffs up:: Maybe I'm better at math than I thought I was. Or maybe I'm just a really good guesser. Either way, I was in the home stretch of registration. I was directed to the registration office where I signed in and began to wait. It took about an hour before I was called back. My "adviser" had the personality of wet towel. That said, registration when quickly and without incident, although he did ask me if I had cats because he noticed the scratch I got on my arm, courtesy of Aloysius. When I told him yes and how many, he looked at me like I was some sort of crazy cat lady and hurried me out of his cube. That's fine. At least now I have my class schedule and equipment requirements. I get to go back on Friday and mooch for money, aka talk to Financial Aid.

While I was waiting to be registered, I wrapped up "Sui Generis" with, if I may say so, a mighty fine segue into "Beautiful Pets." It still needs some tweaking here and there, but I'm well-pleased to finally have this story/chapter behind me. Cadmus' brief biography has been plaguing me for...oh....six years. It's about bloody time I got it on paper.

After I left the school, I zipped by Llew's place of employment and dropped off my computer so he could work on that Power Point project. The plan was that I'd pick the computer up when I went to see him at home this evening. After leaving the shop, I stopped at the vet's office to pick up some Interceptor for the dogs, then I went home and collected Aunt Tudi to take her to her eye doctor.

We got to Dr. Weeks a little early, so they went ahead and took Aunt Tudi on back. They dilated her eyes, which is always fun -- for me. I love dilated eyes. I think there's something fundamentally Elven about them. So I've spent a lot of time gazing into Aunt Tudi's eyeballs. She got a pretty good report. Her cataracts are a little foggier, but not too bad, and she still doesn't need prescription glasses. She's 62 and only needs drugstore reading glasses, and I'm 38 and have been wearing prescription lenses for two years. What's wrong with this picture?

After the doc, we ran by the grocery for some pop, milk, and cheese, because that's what we're living on at the moment. By the time we got home, both of us were so sick from the heat, Aunt Tudi passed out on the couch in front of a fan, and I horked up my lungs in the bathroom. I hate Summer. And I hate global warming. And I hate that shithead in Washington DC who says there's no such thing. Thanks to my getting sick from the heat, mine and Llew's festivities have been postponed until Thursday evening. He came back on his way home from work and gave me my computer and here I am.

At least now, I've cooled off and am no longer churned up from the heat. Blech. Tomorrow we're under another heat advisory. I may avoid the out of doors at all costs.

I have to cut it today. As I've said before, I'd rather be smoking it. But, since I have none to smoke and way too much to cut, I'll be mowing instead of toking. Life is unfair, yes it is, yes it is. Our sunset begins at 8:32 DST, so I'm going out at 7:30 to use the lawn tractor first. I'll be thirty minutes on that, doing Uncle Michael's back yard, the field, and my front yard. Then I'll get out the push mower and do the trimming of the front yard and all of the back yard. I should be finished up a little before 9 PM, if I don't stop to mop sweat or drink anything cool and refreshing.

Words are insufficient in expressing my hatred for Summer and all things related. It needs to go away. The Earth needs to be knocked off Her axis to where we're hardly exposed to the sun at all. Yeah, it'll mean certain death for us all, but at least we'll die cooler than this inferno.

The school thing wasn't a go today, so I'm having to split it up between tomorrow morning and Thursday morning. Ain't that grand? Bah! After I leave there tomorrow, I've got to swing by Llew's work so he can use my computer for a PowerPoint project. None of the equipment or computers they have at work have that capability, so he came to me. I'm also due to go visit Llew at home tomorrow after work. There may be some serious naughtiness to write about after tomorrow night so, if you want on my 'naughty filter,' let me know. If not, you're good.

I had a bowl of cheerios for supper. It's too hot to eat anything even remotely warm. The cheerios hit the spot in a way that I never imagined. I feel fulfilled and energised after having ingested approximately one cup of "doughnut seeds." If they'd been the Honey Nut Cheerios, I think I would have burst out into the yard to sing like Julie Andrews in the mountains of Austria. Yeah. That dramatic.

Aunt Tudi just thumbed her nose at me after I told her to shut her pie-hole, so I promptly flipped her a bird. Family togetherness and love: that's what it's all about.

Twenty-five minutes until I have to go out and be microwaved by the giant ball of fire in the sky.

I just finished the final uploads of all the 40 second song samples for Barry Andrews. All I need to do now is wait for his approval before creating the music page. The song index on the insert for "And If I Refuse?" didn't match with what is on the CD, so I had some difficulties there and need B to make certain everything is A-OK before proceeding further.

Also, my "Sui Generis" block is gone and I've finally got that bastard Nissius killed. It's now time for Cadmus to reveal what he knows about the chalice and give Kelat the shocking news that she's a mum. HA! I still don't know how she'll react to this revelation. Will she weep? Will she be horrified? Will she accept it with calm resignation? I guess I'll find out when I get her there. I'm considering not including "Sui Generis" as a chapter in The Chalice; instead, I was thinking of making it an appendix at the end of the book, behind the Vampire Lexicon. It's awfully long for a chapter in the book, compared to the other chapters, that is. I don't want to give any readers (if there are any) a sense of stagnation when they fall into the abyss of Cadmus' biography. I don't know. I just don't know. Maybe once the second draft is complete and I see it all as a full organism, my decision will be an easy one.

I was hoping to finish the second draft of The Chalice before school begins, but that's not gonna happen. But I've written my own stuff while doing school work before.....when I was 20 years younger than I am now. BAH! I can do it. ::firm nods:: I see no reason why I can't juggle website maintenance, writing a book, doing school work, and noting my progress with all of it in my journal. It might drive me crazy, but at least the trip will be a short one and I hear the sights are to die for.

Ah, and for anyone interested, you can access the song samples here: Barry Andrews' music. There are three folders in this directory. One for "Haunted Box of Switches," his piano and vocal work, one for "Stic Basin," his techno work, and one for his early solo work. A person can get a pretty good idea of how versatile and talented this scary fellow is. Shriekback fans may be interested in the "Haunted Box" files, because he does acoustic piano versions of "Faded Flowers" and "This Big Hush." It's sure to make the hairs on the tops of your toe knuckles stand on end.

Thanks to everyone for giving me your name suggestions. I'm still mulling it over and may even make a poll comprised of all the names so I can choose the name that gets the most votes. Me? I got nothin'.

I've been overwhelmed with anxiety today. Having no money and no sure way to get into school is driving me to distraction. I got a very vague letter from GTC Financial Aid about my options, which makes me feel like I have no options. If I'm reading it correctly, though, I need to get my transcript from Wofford before I can proceed with anything. The admissions part of the this has to be completed before I can talk to FA about how much money I should expect to get after all my groveling.

This Middle East thing is getting on my last damned nerve too. I've gotten to the point where part of me wishes that North Korea would send one of their practice nukes to the region and turn the entire area into a gigantic glow-in-the-dark crater. How can prophecy be fulfilled if the area the prophecy is about is obliterated off the face of the planet? I know that's extreme. And it's really wrong for me to say anything like that, considering my connection to the Jewish people and Israel. My biological mother is Jewish, which makes me Jewish by right. I've attended Temple and I pretty successfully keep Kosher 99% of the time. I'm not a practicing religious Jew, no. I have issues with YHVH. I think that Yahweh/Allah/Jehovah/the Demiurge is the primary reason the Middle East has been so fucked up for so long. You generally cannot embrace peace when you're actively worshiping a volcano war god. The Jews have been persecuted for way too long for no reason at all, but I think they've fallen victim, particularly in Israel, to the First Law of Physics: For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. Israel has become the oppressor because the homeless nation has been so oppressed. I think that, because of religious affiliations, Israel has been given special dispensation by the world's "superpower" to be the bratty kid in the neighbourhood who thinks they can be snotty to all the other kids around and never be punished. Everyone is focused on the soldiers taken by Hezbollah and Hamas, but they rarely mention the men taken by the Mossad. Again, the First Law of Physics. Now, Israel is complaining that someone hit them back and have begun launching missiles. Hezbollah does the same thing. And I hear The Fixx ringing in my bruised brain....."one thing (one thing) leads to ano-o-other." The only way to stop the progression of act triggering act triggering act is for an outside act to bring it all to an end. Kim John-il may be the one person who could take care of matters.

If there's no Mecca, where can the Muslims bow? If there's no Jerusalem, the temple cannot be rebuilt. No Megiddo, no Armageddon. This would not only bring an end to a conflict that can end no other way, but it would also shut up the Dominionists who are actually trying to bring about Tribulation to hasten the return of their Messiah.

My views may be a bit unpopular, but what's new? I'm just sick of it all. Stupid humans with their stupid little religious disagreements. They all need to get over themselves or be vapourised for all eternity, amen.

I've been thinking about taking some elective classes to fortify my Vet Assistance education. What I currently have in mind are classes in Spanish, Excel, and Web Development. This way, I would be an asset to any vet's office both in the back with the animals and up front with computer work and communicating with the growing Mexican population in the area. I could also be more help to Barry.

I wish they offered a class in Looting & Pillaging, but I hear you have to join the military to get the best education in that area.

There's something I forgot to write about regarding my admissions meeting. The admissions officer looked at my application and saw that my major was going to be veterinary assistance. She commented with a favourable vocalisation, then asked if I liked animals.

"Yes," I said. "You could say that."

"Do you have any pets?"

"Oh yeah. I have 3 dogs and over 30 cats.""WHAT?" She said, giving me that 'this woman is a crazy cat lady' expression.

"I've had animal rescue status with my vet's office for about 10 years because I take in stray cats and try to find homes for them. If I can't, I just take care of them and make sure they're fed and happy."

"Do they all live indoors?"

I explained to her that, no, they were feral and I only placed the tame ones. She then asked how on Earth I could feed all of them, to which I responded, "Well, it's kind of hard, especially when you're unemployed, but I get by."

"Well, you must be one of those animal angels. There are plenty of angels on Earth, mainly people angels, but you're definitely an animal angel."

"Well, thanks for saying that. I do love animals, so I decided to follow my heart and do something that would allow me to work with them."

"I think you've made a wise choice."

She then proceeded to tell me that the veterinary program at Greenville Tech will probably expand with the completion of the new campus, if the program was favourably received. So there's hope that, before I finished my assistance program, they may very well have a vet tech program with which I can proceed. Then two of the three hurdles before me on my way to the Veterinary Doctor goal will be scaled successfully. I shall then rule the world and my cat friends will enforce all the laws of the land with sharp claws and teefies. Amen.

I spent the majority of my day at GTC admissions. I had to take a number like at the DMV, which I immediately considered a bad sign. Really bad. Most of the time was spent sitting on a metal chair getting waffle butt and watching TV I didn't want to see. When I finally got to talk to an admissions officer, it was then she told me that, if I could supply a transcript from my time at Wofford, I wouldn't have to take a placement test. So she got the ball rolling on admissions, but I can't register until I submit the transcript and/or take my placement tests. If I have enough credits, I'll just go directly to registration and straight into school. If I don't have enough credits, then I'll need to take the test and possibly end up taking some algebra. I'm certain I won't have to take English or Writing, unless I really want to (and I might), but math? Oy vey. I can't count past ten unless I'm barefooted. And those word problems in algebra....

Johnny is travelling by bus from Los Angeles to New York at approximately 55 miles per hour. Susie is travelling by airplane from Honolulu to London, England at approximately 600 miles per hour. How many grains of sand are there in Myrtle Beach?

BZUH?? I'm sorry, but my brain doesn't work like that. And what does this have to do with taking a dog's temperature by sticking a thermometer up his arse? Just let me learn that and I'll be fine.

So tomorrow, I'm going to Wofford to request my transcript, then back to Greenville Tech to beg for Financial Aid. Or Lemonade. Depending on how long I'm there and how thirsty I get.

Once I get through all this, I'll be so relieved. I'm not nervous about starting school like I've always been before. I think it's because I have some age on me and I don't give a shit about any of the social hooha that's usually associated with school. I dare those kids to try to pick on me this go 'round. I will crush them like the fucking bugs they are.

I was supposed to go over and see Llew today, but he ended up having to babysit until 5:30 this afternoon. He said we could still go flying, but I'm not keen on doing anything with the kid because.....well, because she's a kid. I don't do kids. I have contended in the past that the only way I'd intentionally have a child would be to ensure good meat for when the pickin's get slim after the Alpaca Lips. I am that wicked witch who fattens up children for baking in a pie. As for Llew, I'm going to see him tomorrow.

As is almost weekly tradition 'round here, I went out to cut the grass. It's so dry in our area right now that I blow red snot outta my nose for hours after I'm finished mowing. Maybe I need to wear one of those face masks, but I really don't want to do that. I already wear Terminator sunglasses to keep the light and crap out of my eyes. Combine that with a face mask and I'd end up looking like an extra on the Road Warrior set. It was hot out there. I was slimy by the time I was finished. I was a pale blue, slimy lump of misery who was blowing red mud out of her nose and throat. Attractive. Very attractive.

Aunt Tudi and I prepared an actual dinner to eat today. We had conflake crust fried boneless/skinless chicken, glow-in-the-dark green beans, and mashed potatoes. Afterward, Aunt Tudi had a slice of sugar free lemon pie and I had a nap.

An hour after that, I drug out the computer to stare at The Chalice for a while. I've hit another block. All I want to do is get past "Sui Generis," then the rest will be gravy. I'm so close, but I can't seem to get there. In frustration, I threw my hands up in the air and logged on to The INTARWEBS. Once there, I stared at the e-mails I need to answer and the journal in which I haven't written all day, while I watched the bad news about the Middle East. So I made a misanthropic post about that in misanthrope_inc, then commenced to staring at The Chalice again. Oh, and I got an email from moad_terran_hq in which he sent me some pictures of himself.

He is a hottie. It is proclaimed, yea and verily. As it is written, so shall it be done. Amen.

And that brings me up to this point in time. Now, I'm watching a Law & Order: CI that I've seen twice before and debating on whether or not to post another useless poll about nothing and everything. Honestly, I can't be sussed. All I want to do is finish up "Sui Generis," go to bed, and watch Harry Potter movies until I fall asleep.

Tomorrow is an early day. After being delayed last week, I'm heading out to Greenville Tech to take my placement tests and enroll for the Autumn semester. After that, I'm hoping I can go on to the financial aid office and let them see my cupped hand of blatant begging. Gimme money pleez. I R POOOOR. I spent all my money in England, so pity me! All I want to do is care for the animals and hit humans with a big stick, so please let me come to school for free. Better yet, pay me to come to school so I won't have to work whilst getting an education.

It would be nice to be a slacker student. It'd give me time to get back into the groove of school life. I've got twenty years of rust to scrape off my edumacation skillz.

Aunt Tudi: I'm concerned about your schooling. You know, vet assistants and vet techs don't make much money. If all you can get are loans, how are you going to pay that back when you're out of school? Shouldn't you be taking courses that will help you make more money once you're finished?

Me: I'm only good at two things: computers and taking care of animals. And computers are temporary. Some of the first people to lose work after 9-11 were computer people, and NASDAQ has yet to fully recover from all that. When society as we know it collapses, there won't be computers anymore, but people will still need animal health care. Besides, I'll make it somehow. I always do.

Aunt Tudi: If no one is making money, they won't be taking care of their animals like they normally do.

Me: There will always be zoos and there will always be farmers, especially farmers. Even if our economy fails, there will always be a farmer who needs someone to stick their arm up his cow's arse. I'm their woman.

Aunt Tudi: Well, I just don't want you to end up in debt and not able to pay it back.

Me: Like I said, I'll make it work somehow. If all I can get are loans, I don't have to pay them back until I graduate from school. I may just become a professional student and not graduate until right before 21 December, 2012. They can't very well collect on the loans if the Alpaca Lips happens. And I'll die smart.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice about the whole school funding thing. I filled out my FAFSA today and the 'Net promptly lost it all, but not before I printed it out. I'm not sure if it submitted or not, and won't know for another 24 hours. If it didn't go through, at least I can speed through the submission process tomorrow with all the info I printed out. I hate paperwork. HATE. IT.

In other news, as everyone already apparently knows, Syd Barrett died on Friday. This is very depressing to me. I know that he suffered ever since the breakdown in the late 60s, and that he's probably better off, but it just hurts to know he's gone. If it weren't for Syd, I would never have discovered XTC and Shriekback. I wrote this man poetry. I dreamed about him off and on since the late 80s. He was an inspiration to me. It saddens me that he has left this vale of tears.

All you school-type peeples on my friends list: Do you have any advice for me on how to fill out my FAFSA and how I can get as much financial aid as humanly possible? Any input would be so appreciated, I'll name my firstborn after you.

I've been 4 hours on the new job. No bad vibes like I had from the one at NHC. There's a lot of repetitive stuff I need to learn, but that will happen with time, I'm sure. I like the folks I work with. Everyone is down to Earth and pretty laid back, so that's good.

I'm home for lunch. Man, I've missed Aunt Tudi and the beasties! It's horrid having to work, but I really needed to get off my arse and do something. ::heavy sigh::

It only takes me like 2 minutes to get to work. Two minutes! When I told my boss and the 2nd in command how close I lived, they both laughed incredulously, just like everyone has so far when I tell them how close I am to work.

Once I'm comfortable with the system, I'm pretty certain I will do fine with the job. The only thing I really hate is answering the phone, but that's to be expected, given my phone phobia. I have Internet access at work, but I don't know the regulations with that yet, so I'm not going there until I'm certain it's kosher. They're so cool and laid back, I don't think it'd be a problem if I updated my journal now and again during slow patches.

Brian, the boss, already had me install Norton anti-virus on Doug's (the 2nd in command) computer because he'd been informed I knew a lot about computers. Anyone can do an install, but I think he was just testing me to see if I would mess something up or just go with the flow.

I'm thinking that the rest of my job-related posts will be Friends Only just to be on the safe side. I would prefer not to air everything about the new job in a public forum as that might not be the most appropriate road to take. Just sayin'.

Even though I'm sad to not be at home anymore, I'm a happy camper to have found such a laid back and groovy job so close to my domicile. I've no right to complain. None whatsoever. So I won't.Got a letter from Barry giving me the go ahead to put up song samples from "Haunted Box of Switches," "Stic Basin," and his earlier material. It's just a matter of getting the music to Llew so he can create the samples in the correct format for me. I was kind of excited about delving into something like this, but B's obvious excitement has gotten me really charged now. I can't wait to create something astounding for everyone to enjoy. I just hope I'm up to the task.

One of the things I'd really like to do when I get back into school is take some web design classes to further what I've already taught myself. I'd prefer and actually need to learn some Flash and Cold Fusion. There's so much more stuff I could do if I were just educated a little!

I had the strongest compulsion last night, to liquidate everything, take the money I have and move to Maine to start over completely fresh. It's a daft idea really and quite possibly would eliminate my chances of going to school, but I'm still so tempted. If I ever seriously play the lottery and won any good amount of money, I would absolutely run off to Maine and buy a large chunk of land nearest the best veterinary school they have up there. I'd go to school and have a huge menagerie on my new funky farm, and thank the Mighties every day for paving the way for me to live in the state I've always wanted to live in.

I don't know why I've always had a shine for Maine. I've never even been there, but there's something about the state that draws me in a way no other place in the US ever has or probably ever will. As I've told people many times in the past, I'd be happy gutting fish for a living in a tiny coastal town in Maine, as long as I could be near the rocks and maybe a lighthouse. Sometimes I can't imagine anything more fulfilling than that.

But enough of that. Here's a quiz I stole from serifem and I refuse to give it back.

My unemployment is running out and there are no longer any extensions. So I'm going to have to use a portion of the 401k as survival income until I land a job and I'm gonna have to land a job sooner than I expected to. So.....I may end up having to go to Greenville Tech for night classes while I work and study Veterinary Assistance as a stepping stone to Vet Technology. The campus is closer and night classes for that are available. I will also have to work with whatever employer I end up getting on when I can take a week to run off to Blighty.

Oy.....

Nothing has been suspended. I refuse to just settle for what is offered to me and keep my head down. I will follow....my.....dreams.... before I'm too old or too jaded to do so. Barry said in his letter about seeing me in August. Maybe it was a psychic moment. Who knows?

All I know is that I will still be in a much better situation come August of 2006 than I was in August 2005. Despite the government trying to ream me, I will prevail!

I have to go to the employment office tomorrow and prove to them I've been hunting for a job. I actually found a couple of jobs I wouldn't mind having, but never heard back from either business so phooey on them. They're missing out on a great opportunity to employ a surly wage slave.

Llew's place of employment may be getting a 6-digit contract with a major local company. If they get the contract, they'll need a clerk/film technician and I'm in the running for that because of my skills both in clerical work and in media technology (from my early days in Quality Assurance at BMG). That'd be pretty groovy.

I also have the option of going to work at Dr. Patch's if they still need help, which I think they always need help. This would be a dandy opportunity to learn more about my chosen trade. My only issue with this is that I'm not certain I want to have Dr. Patch as a boss. He's been my beasties' doctor and a friendly acquaintance of mine for many moons and I don't want to ruin the relationship because I'm suddenly an employee. That's a thin line to tread right there.

Anyway, I have to go out tomorrow morning and prove myself. After I've fulfilled my obligation there, Aunt Tudi and I are going to the main library in Spartanburg to hang out for a while. Who knows what we'll do after the library visit? I may go to Circuit City and Best Buy to scope out some notebooks. In the following days I need to maintain my social attitude and go some places and do some things. The more I stay indoors, the less I want to do anything. Pretty soon, I'll be trying to roll a rock in front of my door and growing a beard. I may even purchase a soccer ball to talk to.

My unemployment check didn't show this week, so I have to wait 20 days to see if it does show up, then call the SCEC and place a stop-check on the offending payment. I did receive my 401k money today, but it has to be held for a week before it can be deposited in my account. So I'm broke. Poor. Hittin' the skids. At least the financial crisis will be short-lived. I'll be getting another check on either Tuesday or Wednesday.

I may also have a sweet job lined up at American Image Makers as their Girl Friday. Ideally, it'd be a part-time position that would allow me to be a tad closer to Tri-County Tech. The proverbial ball is beginning to gain rolling momentum. I just hope I can hang on long enough for all this to come together. Either way, I'll definitely get that ball rolling starting on Monday.

Aunt Tudi and I got back home about two hours ago after taking mekkasimian home from his dropping off the moving van at the airport. We got to meet Mrs. Simian and their lovely cats Toast, Verbal, and Schwa. Verbal is probably the biggest cat I've ever seen, outdoing even the giant Minerva, may she rest in peace!

The ride down and visit went pretty well, I think. I didn't shy off like I was afraid I would. Mek is just very easy to talk to and so is Mrs. Simian. They're what I call Good Peeps and I sincerely hope they survive the Alpaca Lips to reseed the world with decent humans. I informed them that, once they're settled in nicely and have some time, Aunt Tudi and I would come down and kidnap them to take them up to Asheville and for a ride up the Blue Ridge Parkway. It'll probably be Spring before we do that since they usually close the Parkway in the Winter. It's icy there when there's no sign of Winter anywhere else. Besides, I'm sure the Simians have much to do before they can think of socialising or gallivanting.

They live very close to Tri-County Tech where I'll be going to learn in the Veterinary Technology program. I told 'em that I'd drop by after school to experiment on their cats. Of course, I was kidding. I have plenty of animals of my own to turn into guinea pigs. Bwaaaaahahahahah! Again, I'm joking.

So I told them to reach out if they could think of anything I could do for them, and Aunt Tudi and I came back home. We were gonna go see a movie, but decided to put that off until tomorrow when the kids are back in school. I'm taking her to see the new Queen Latifah flick 'cos Aunt Tudi loves Queen Latifah. I'm rather fond of her myself, truth be told.

That's what I'm listening to right now. The song by Stereo MCs. I've always loved this song. LOVED.IT. "You must blind if you can't see the gaping hole called reality." Rock on!I just saw a commercial that featured killer whales swimming gracefully over a gigantic flowery meadow. Dunno what they were advertising, but it was very pretty. Speaking of whales, seeing the advert reminded me of a square floppy record of humpback whalesong I got out of a National Geographic magazine when I was a kid. It was 33.3, but I played it on 45. Sped up humpback whalesong sounds like chirping birds. I've often wanted to get birdsong and play it on a slower speed. Betcha anything they sound like humpback whales. Just another example of how we're all...connected!Am I the only one humiliated to the bone that WWE "rastlers" are going to Afghanistan to entertain "our troops?" Such spectacles pretty much prove the point of many Muslim clerics that America is a font of evil, don't they? What "our troops" need is some proper entertainment and little bit of culture, not to mention gobs and gobs of edumacation (just trying to speak the new layngige of our fearless fuhrer) so they won't go blindly into combat believing the lies they've been told. Ugh...In my migraine drug-induced haze, I dreamed that I was having nightmares from which I couldn't wake up. So, in my dream, I was unable to escape the dreams I was having. It was quite distressing, as the nightmares in the dream were so real and so terrifying, I finally woke up in a cold sweat. Sometimes the Imitrex does that to me ~ keeps me in a weirdo psycho-billy state of mind. I didn't fully wake up from everything 'til around 5 PM this afternoon. I may be up all night. "From the mind of Joss Whedon" says the advert for the release of the Serenity DVD. They talk about this man like he's the fucking Messiah. I just don't get it. So he's a relatively good writer who can create some nicely-developed characters. He's not all that. Just my opinion. Note to Joss: not every sci-fi and/or fantasy aficianado thinks you're all that. If you're anything like the folks who pump you up so much, please get over yourself immediately. Thank you.

And the wolf in the new Hall's Mentholyptus commercial reminds me of Darth Maul. I want to snog that wolf. Oh yeah.

I think I watch too many commercials too closely to not be a raging consumer. I think I'm paying more attention this year because two adverts feature ELO. Jeff Lynne will always have my undivided attention.The procession of freaks and losers on Law & Order: SVU is sometimes overwhelming. This is, by far, my favourite show in the Law & Order franchise. The cops are visibly distressed by the work they have to do and I find that refreshing. They are far from invincible. They are sometimes as fucked up as the people they investigate. I dig it. They're always being told to go home for a week and see a therapist. That'd be the type of cop I'd be, I think. I'd be like Stabler, just one step away from freaking out and going on killing spree at Rikers. Whee! It's probably good I'm pursuing education in the animal care field instead of criminal justice.Before I wash my hair, I'm going to give my car a lube job with my head. Yeah. Before I do that, I think I'm gonna make a poll to ensure the misery of all my readers.

I need something and I don't know what it's called, so I'm dubbing it a "contraption" until that time some kind soul enlightens my dumb ass. I need a contraption that clips onto my laptop screen on which I can perch papers. Shmoop has made it more than obvious that I am not allowed to be on the computer without her presence and it makes it nigh to impossible to work with any papers I might need. I'm gonna have to get this contraption before I start school; otherwise, I'm gonna be SKA-REWED!

I do adore this cat, though. She is such a sweetie. Verily does she live up to her name. I don't think I've ever encountered a schmoopier cat than Shmoop. Some may say I should just set her off me and continue with my work, but I can't resist her. No! I will purchase a contraption that will allow me to continue with my duties whilst basking in the presence of my Shmoop.

Everything I was supposed to do today will have to be done on Monday. Aunt Tudi was rather sick all day, so we stayed home. I'm still planning on filling out the FAFSA, dragging out tax info, and setting up my printer though. I can do it in my leisure since the only thing I have planned over the weekend is a visit with Llew tomorrow.

I need to go to One Stop and formally request WIA benefits and get my book signed.

I need to call Spartanburg Tech and set up an appointment with admissions and financial aid.

I need to drag out my tax information for last year so I can provide these records for financial aid purposes.

I need to fill out my FAFSA forms and submit them to the government.

I need to set up my new printer and print out my job search evidence.

I also need to find out from the One Stop folks if I can qualify for WIA if I want to go to a school other than Spartanburg Tech. If I can, then it's Tri-County for me, 'cos they have a vet tech program.

My plan is to ingest copious amounts of coffee to get me buzzing and motivated. All else will follow.

I woke up unbelievably early with a migraine that just didn't seem to want to quit. Popping an Imitrex, I lay back down for a short while. Thirty minutes passed and the headache was still raging, so I took another Imitrex and lay down again. The time I had allotted to get cleaned up and ready for the second part of the College Workshop 100. I was now officially late.

The headache continued, so I ate a pain pill and lay down on our marshmallow sofa. It was 9 AM by then. There was no way I would be able to go back to STC today. Actually, I'm not much concerned about it anyway, 'cos this is aimed toward folks who want to be art of Smart Jobs. Today would have consisted of listening to representatives from various local businesses while they told us what their expectations of new employees may be. What a crock o'doody.

Instead, I'm going to go over to One Stop, hopefully tomorrow, and see about WIA. I'm also going to call admin at STC and set up an appointment to tour the school and learn more about it, as well as taking my placement test to get that out of the way. I also need to fill out my financial aid forms and get that ball rolling.

The head has calmed down considerably, which is why I'm no online. If the head were still raging and vibrating, I would still be lying down preparing myself for the Big Sleep.I have four unusual cat photos.

There are gnats in our house. There are gnats all over the place. Everyone in the neighbourhood is having serious gnat issues here. I don't mind gnats and I don't kill them. Why bother? Their fucking gnats. The only problem I have with them is that they are quite inclined to fly right into your eyeballs. Why the hell do that do that? Don't they know it spells doom for them? There's really nothing worse than having a small creature struggling for freedom on the surface of your eyeball. I shudder from the mere thought of it.

It went well today. No testing for this portion of the workshop, and there won't be any testing for me tomorrow either. The reason for this is I'm not planning on being part of Smart Jobs, which is a quick run through school and a major push into the workforce within 2 months. I am instead going with a curriculum, which requires transcripts and the taking of either the ASSET or COMPASS test. So I won't have to be at the college until 10:30 tomorrow, but I'm still going to Sparkle City early. My aim is to be at the One Stop Center at 9 AM to get enrolled in the WIA program, which will help pay for my schooling for two years. Then I'll go finish up at the college and get home before 1 PM.

There are two hitches in my Master Plan.

Hitch #1: In order to have my schooling paid for, I'm pretty certain I have to attend Spartanburg Tech. This means no vet tech education until I'm in a better position to transfer schools and carry the burden of tuition myself. However, there is hope! STC has a medical technology program that sounds perfect. I get to play mad scientist and observe hideous human emissions through a microscope, but I don't have to deal with people that much. Also, the classes for medical technology sound an awful lot like the classes I'd need for veterinary technology, so I could probably transfer credits when I'm ready.

Hitch #2: STC's Spring Semester begins in January and ends in May. I checked the Spring Break schedule and it's from 3 through 7 of April. This will be when I can go to England. February is out because I'll be in school if everything now goes as planned. It's a bitch to have to postpone this again, but I don't see any way around it.

I'll find out more tomorrow regarding my options when it comes to going somewhere other than STC. ::firm nods::

In social news, I made a friend at the workshop today. Her name is Sherleen and she's refugee from New Orleans. She was one of the many folks who were placed in the Upstate. Sherleen was a school bus driver back in NO and she's thinking about going into early childhood development as she starts her new life in South Carolina. The poor woman was frozen stiff this morning and it was only in the low fifties. This dude Steve bought her a cup of hot chocolate. I would have, but the ATM I went by on the way to town was broken and I had no money. Anyway, I told Sherleen if there was anything I could do, just let me know. She said she would like to just hang with me during all this due process because she's just really unsure of everything, being displaced and losing so much. I feel for her. So, I think we're gonna be buds.

On my way home, I was behind a car with a rear tire swiftly losing air. I honked my horn at the driver and waved them over, rolling my window down to tell them of their misfortune. It's always best to catch a flat early, so your rim won't cut your rubber. Here's hoping she could get it patched and move along without having to buy a tire.

So that was my good deed for the day. Back to your regularly scheduled program of misanthropy and Sithliness.

It was another late day for Aunt Tudi and me. She suggested that we may have been bitten by the tsetse fly and have contracted the sleeping sickness. We opened our eyes to view the clock screaming 2 PM at us. That's just wrong.

So we got cleaned up and dressed and hit the road at 3 PM to go pick up our menagerie and make a stop at Wal-Mart. I needed another blouse for my 2 days of that College Workshop 100 thing I have to attend this week at Spartanburg Tech. This is a requirement in order to qualify for free schooling. I can't wear tee shirts and I only had the one red blouse I bought a couple of weeks ago (the one that makes me look like Busty Malone). We dropped by Dr. Patch's to give them the cats' carrying cases and the dogs' leashes so they could get the beasties ready while we were in Wally World.

Whilst in Wally World, I found a nice black blouse that can be both long-sleeved and short-sleeved, and I also found an uber-long black sweater. I also picked up a printer for my future printing needs in school. It was all surprisingly cheap, even for Wal-Mart. We also got some milk, cat food, and a few items of food. Then we went back to Dr. Patch's office.

When we got there, Maria was there with one of her Yorkies and the Yorkie's newborn pup. Maria used to work at Dr. Patch's years ago and we've stayed in touch sporadically since she left. For a while, she ran a pet shop and, during that time, she sold me my one and only beloved hedgehog Leopold, cutting the price in almost a third bless her! Now, she breeds Yorkshire Terriers full time. The pup she had looked like a little black worm with legs. It was uuuuuuuuugly, but all newborns are ugly regardless of their species....bubble-eyed, spotty-haired freaks o'nature they are. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to get together soon to really catch up with each other.

When Riley saw us in the lobby, the dog literally screamed with joy. He has such emotional issues. We carted them all home and, once we got here, Shmoop had herself a psycho-kitty running fit. She and Smidgen are now on the back porch taking a siesta. As a matter of fact, all the dogs and Aunt Tudi are asleep too. I'm the only person in the house that's awake. I could scamper about nekkid and slapping my own arse with a dish towel and they wouldn't be the wiser.

I have to be up at 6 in the morning and at Spartanburg Tech by 9 AM. The workshop is from 9 'til 12 both Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm supposed to be tested and such, then get suggestions on what career I should study for. I'll do whatever they want me to as long as I can get me some free schooling and not have to work for a while.

Also tomorrow, I'm going to see Llew. We haven't seen each other in almost three weeks.

For now, though, I need to find some supper. It just occurred to me that I'm hungry.

Earlier this year I mentioned that I might go to my 20th high school reunion. Now, I'm not so sure. It's not that I'm ashamed to show myself or let these people know what I've been up to for lo, these many years; rather, it's not having the patience or inclination to fraternise with individuals with whom I had little in common then and probably even less so now. I scoured the email addresses in the announcement sent to me and the only one I'd be interested in seeing is Andy. No Benjamin. No Sandra. Why bother? Oh, and the plan is to attend the homecoming game and deck ourselves in specially-made tee shirts whilst sitting in a reserved area of the bleachers, then tailgate to wherever the party is gonna be. I'm sorry, but this sounds utterly abominable to me. Thanks, but no thanks. Maybe I'll go to the 25 year reunion if these people have grown up a little by then. Bleh.

Buck Rogers is on Sci-Fi right now. I used to watch this and Battlestar Galactica back to back every week when I was a kid. I overdosed on so much bad science fiction in the 70s, it's a wonder I'm as lucid as I fancy myself to be now. Why am I watching Buck now? Nostalgia man. There comes a time when even the worst shows demand attention simply because they are a part of your psyche and your history. It helps you connect with simpler times and, in my case, a much more optimistic ideal.

So here I am at the Saturn service center, getting my car serviced. It may be the last time I have to get it serviced. What's the point of maintaining a vehicle I can't afford to drive? My gawd, gas here is ranging from $2.99 to $3.25, depending on where you go. I'm tempted to drive up to the Smoky Mountains and buy a few jugs of white lightning to fuel the vehicle.

But I'm not here to bitch about petrol. I'm here to catch up on what went on yesterday. It was an eventful day.

First off, Dr. Sovenyhazy. The check up went well, although I didn't expect for him to give me a full physical. Being the lout I am, I decided not to shave my legs, so the good doctor got an eyeful of Sasquatch gams. Yes, I'm sure he was as horrified as anyone who looks at buttholes all day can be. My colonoscopy is scheduled for 12 September. Oh, and I got a picture of Dr. Sovenyhazy's office sign so I can prove that my gastroenterolist's name is indeed SHOVEinhozzy. I'll post those when I'm home and have time.

Before I headed out for the doc's, I got a call from the SC employment office. They said I could come in any time, that they had received all the necessary paperwork from The Pit. Since gas is so horrid, I suggested to Aunt Tudi that we go by the employment place after my appointment, since we'd already be in town. So that's what we did. I was at the employment office from 11:40 until a little after 3 PM. Never have I been grilled so thoroughly about my work and financial history. I swear to the Mighties, I felt like a wrung wash cloth after that experience. The good thing, though, is that I should start receiving benefits no later than week after next and I can go ahead and apply for financial aid for school with their displaced worker program. They not only pay for tuition for a two year program, but they also pay for all your books and even transportation costs, which will come in handy now that we're all having to sell our souls for a gallon of gas. I'll be going to the appropriate office to file for these benefits on Monday.

Since Aunt Tudi and I hadn't had breakfast or lunch, I decided to take her to the Golden Corral for a meal. They have this barbecue special during lunch hours that she had been wanting to try. When we got there and I went to pay with my debit card, it wasn't in my wallet. WTF? I've never lost any of my cards (ID, license, credit, debit, library, whatever) and was just floored. I had to pay for the meal with my credit card and immediately called Bank of America once we were seated. I can't think of a worst place to lose one's debit or credit card than at the unemployment office. I had the debit account frozen and a new card ordered within ten minutes, so all was well, I could breathe a sigh of relief. Then, I found my debit card. For some daft reason, I had placed it in a different location in my wallet. I am an idiot! But at least it wasn't floating around somewhere... Now, though, I have to wait for my new debit card, which should be to me by 8 September. Crapola. That's what I get for being a nudnick.

Today, Aunt Tudi and I got up around 8 AM and mosied to Wal-Mart for our weekly grocery shopping. We took our time and enjoyed the fact that there were few people to hamper our progress. And the blatant lack of children was quite a relief for me. Wally World isn't nearly so horrid in the mornings as it is in the afternoons. Swiftly have I grown to adore the life of the idle unemployed.

After we leave Saturn, I'm heading home for a wee nap perhaps, and then I go see Llew this evening. Tomorrow, I'm cutting grass and Saturday, I go see sifu_rick, sifu_joe, and the other fellas who make up PaYne. Sunday, I'm not doing diddly-damned-squat.

Yesterday evening, I visited Diane. She gave me a "Lord of the Rings" Trivial Pursuit game that Cathy had asked her to pass on to me. Now, if I can just find some local LOTR nerds to play it with me..... Anyway, Diane is doing pretty well after her heart attack. She seems feistier than ever and ready to kick all sorts of butt, mainly her family's collective butt, but that's a tale that ought not be told here.

After Diane, I went to see Llew. We spent a couple of hours together, enjoying the music of Nickel Creek. It seems that the prospect isn't going to work out. She's wanting to breed! And she doesn't have a kinky bone in her body. So...back to the drawing board.

I got home a little before 9 PM and went straight to bed. It's a sad situation when the highlight of your life is getting to go to sleep. I've a feeling this will change over the next year. At least I hope so.I'm thinking about the things I need to do once I'm gainfully unemployed. I will need to work on forming new habits. I'm a creature of habit and am rabid about not having to change. If my routine is broken, then everything just flies all to hell. For instance, when I'm at work, I get all my water for the day in. When I'm not, I don't drink nearly as much as I should, because I'm not in the environment that triggers my habit.

My plan for my future time off is this: Wake up naturally, because that's the most healthy way to be, drink at least 8 to 16 ounces of water, go take a walk (at least 1.5 to 2 miles), come home, drink 8 to 16 more ounces of water. Then eat breakfast/brunch and get the day started with other activities. Not only will this jump start my water intake each day, but it will also probably encourage more weight loss. I've been terrible about actual aerobic exercise. After a day in The Pit, all I want to do is go home and sleep, which isn't healthy at all. My plan is to boost my health even more and become a stronger and more physically resilient person. I also think this will help me lose that last 23 pounds I want to get rid of.Judy is back at work today from her surgery. She looks very different! She had a face and eyelid lift because her eyelids were drooping so much that it was causing her problems with her vision. I didn't think I'd see much of a difference in her, but it's there! Quite possibly, her happiness and excitement about starting a new chapter in her life is also affecting her appearance. If I get her permission, I may post before and after pictures here later on.

At lunchtime, I'm taking Chester to Michelle to be groomed. When I pick him up after work, I'll get a chance to discuss the whole vet tech avenue with my homies at Dr. Patch's office. I think they'll be more than supportive of the decision. Here's hoping that they'll also have some advice on how to proceed other than going back to school. One thing I've been thinking about is joining the local wildlife rescue group and volunteering to care for the animals. Not only would that be educational, but it'd also look damned good on a resume for when I'm ready to work in the new career.

I had this dream very early this morning that I was in a relationship with Bruce Campbell. We were at this restaurant just yucking it up in front of Aunt Tudi, who was appropriately mortified. But we were having so much fun and laughing so hard. Bruce kept kissing me on the cheek and telling me how cool I was. It was truly surreal.While sitting at the vet's office yesterday afternoon, waiting to get Smidgen and Shmoop their shots, something occurred to me: I will soon have the world at my feet. I can do whatever I wish to do. And I wish to help animals. So why the fuck am I thinking of getting into Respiratory Therapy? I hate people and I love animals. Encouraging old assholes to hork loogies in my presence is really not my idea of a good time. Helping in the healing of an animal, any animal, is. So....I'm thinking of going into Veterinary Assistance instead of Respiratory Therapy. It's not like I need that much money since I'm going to be getting out of debt very soon. And, once I've gotten my certificate and am working at a vet's assistant, I can continue my education to become a honest-to-goddess veterinarian. I don't have to stop going to to school after two years. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do.

And I know that Dr. Patch would help me in any way he could. He's already taught me so much over the years. I could tell he was a bit disappointed when I told him I was going into respiratory therapy a few weeks back so I think he was kinda hoping I'd take the animal path. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. And I think he will too.

I don't want to touch my 101K until after the first of the year. I have the car and two credit cards left to pay off, but I have insurance on both credit cards that will pay my bill for up to 6 months if I'm disabled or unemployed. So.....

Upon the opening of the large creaking door that currently keeps me trapped in The Pit, I am going to fly out with my severance like the Blue Bird of Happiness and immediately pay off my car. I'm then going to file the appropriate paperwork with the credit card insurance people and get that started, but I'm not going to pay off the cards at that time. I'm going to let the insurance I've been paying for for so long do its job for a while, then pay off whatever's left after the first of the year when I pull out the 101K.

Todd is going to be in NYC in September, so I'm rescheduling the NY trip to then so I can see him and show Aunt Tudi the Big Apple. This way, I won't have to go to Portland and can save some dough.

This will move the England trip up to mid-November, I'm thinking.

After the first of the year, I'll be eligible for lottery funds for school and will register for the March classes. At that time, I will pull out the 101K and apply at Dr. Patch's for the job I hope to have. By then I'll know my schedules and won't have to worry about any conflicts.

::determined nod:: I believe I have it all under control, just how I like things. Now, if I can just pull it off.