A veces sentimos que lo que hacemos es tan solo una gota en el mar, pero el mar sería menos si le faltara una gota ~ Sometimes we feel that what we do is only a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less if it was short of a drop ~ madre teresa de calcutta

Monday, February 11, 2008

alpha loves omega

My father jokes around our house about my youngest sister, Sara Lydia, who is 1 yr old, and I (*ehem* I won't tell you my age, but sufficeth to know that I'm the eldest of the 7). Due to our age difference and birth order, he calls me "Alpha" and the little one "Omega". He claims that his child-bearing years have come to a close in a funny coincidence. "Omega" was born one day after my b-day and that closes the baby factory in full circle. I don't think they planned that, it just happened.

So, while my father Ali, who should be also known as "Abraham", is getting senior discounts at IHOP and Kroger pharmacies, Omega and I have the grandest of times when we're together. You see, 7 kids in a bunch can fight over the attention of the parents. So, I just gladly give Omega the attention she doesn't get because she can barely talk. (that's a joke about her not getting attention...) And for that, she likes me a lot. She can barely say my name, and thus calls me something that sounds like, "Ness", like the Lock-NESS monster. But I dig that.

Today my heart melted when my stepmom said that Omega was eating in her high chair the other day and heard some noise outside. Thinking that it was me coming in thru the garage door, like I'm used to, she popped her eyes open and exclaimed, "NESSS!!?" Like, could it possibly be that girl that can't stop kissing me and holding me and always asks me if I want to sleepover at her house? Sadly, they inform her it's not Alpha. To which she drops her head in her criss-crossed arms and cries as if it's the end of the world. Okay- maybe I exaggerated! But she DID cry I was told! What a thought...that a 1 year old could remember me past her short-term memory. That's just got to be the warmest feeling in my heart ever!

So, you don't have kids? Me neither. That's why I borrow other people's to find joy in those little faces with little questions and little worries and little anxieties and little problems. As I grow older and forget the joy of being young and innocent like those early years, little Omega reminds me of those days when you just have no worries except to eat, sleep, and get your diaper changed. And you just trust that someone's going to do it. As I consider my future, every day can be a struggle if I let my flesh worry about what I will eat tomorrow (not so much about getting a diaper changed, *cough-cough*). I'm really trying to submit my flesh to God's will in my life, and with it trust that my Dad up there will take care of me. Isn't that hard for some of you?

And again, if you don't have kids, mentor a child or visit a hospital where they need loving arms to hold babies who are in critical care...something about touch and healing babies and such as.

"o Lord, you have searched me and known me...you understand my thought from afar...How precious also are your thoughts to me o God! How vast is the sum of them!...When I awake I am still with you." psalm 139...