Getting The Best Love Advice

understanding women

Enter The "System" [a program created by Doc Love to help men understand women]. In 1965, I wanted to answer the question "What does a woman want?" once and for all, so I started interviewing women. When I did so, I never took the first answer I got; instead I would probe like an Internal Affairs guy looking for dirty cops. Whenever a woman gave me a stock answer, I would smile politely, then dig deeper, tossing out follow-up questions like Columbo. I did this until I finally came up with the best question possible: "Describe the man you actually stayed with." This was how The "System" was born.

Investigating successful relationships, not wishes — what a concept! Unbelievable as it may sound, this is what those trained experts missed. I, Doc Love — who got a D in college Psychology — turned out to be the true scientist simply by asking the right question. I became the first (and to this day, the only) love doctor to actually study women's choices — not their words — and develop a system based on these facts. That's how I received the distinction "The First Man in 6000 Years to Understand Women."

Nowadays, men need my tactics more than ever. With so many men giving up on advice, only women populate the relationship aisles of the bookstores. Imagine: women — who already understand men — are the ones buying advice books while the people who need help the most — the men — are getting their hearts stomped on! In the Battle of the Sexes, this is not what I would call a fair fight!

the male ego

The male ego contributes to the shortage of love advice by making men reluctant to seek coaching. Many men are afraid that admitting any ignorance about affairs of the heart will make them appear weak to other people — especially to their male buddies.

Male silence in the marketplace of love advice — coupled with Feminist intimidation — also prevents T.V. and radio Program Directors from airing any love programs that genuinely benefit men. Their rationale: if men aren't buying advice books, why should we hire someone to help them?

But in spite of this gloom, there is hope for men. The recent success of men's magazines like Stuff prove that targeting a male market is a lucrative proposition. Even though these magazines deal mostly with such burning issues as how to choose a beer or what is Heidi Klum's bra size, it shows that things are changing.

The success of my own column is further proof that the trend of male apathy toward love advice is reversing — I've gotten hundreds of letters like Sam's that show there is a real need in this world for quality men's advice. I intend to fulfill that need by shouting on the rooftops about the power of The "System". Amen.