Well there is a lot to write about. Often I thought of writing blog during my time back in Chicago but I never did. To sum up that year, I wasn't happy. I felt like an outsider, I didn't know what I was doing, I pretty much wasted that year working for a low paying cooking job and not doing much else. The only two highlights of that year was my visit to German and the wheel world championship. I have been here for only a week and already I feel so much better. When I'm in Germany, whether it is in the town my boyfriend lives or here at the circus, this place feels like home.

What is home? Often I think of this question and a few things come to mind, the Cheers intro. "want to go where everyone knows your name" and Go the Distance from Hercules "I have often dream of a far off place, where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me, where the crowds will cheer when they see my face, and a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be" Both those things are here, that's why I love it here, that is why I keep coming back, that is why I will do what I can and have to to stay.

The first 4 days here I spent with my boyfriend and they were nice. We didn't do much of anything and I got the relaxation I needed. I've been going out with him now for a year and for me this is something new and strange. To have someone who cares about me and not just uses me. I'm still getting used to the idea of being with someone who actually loves me and wants to be with me. I worry about what the future holds for us if I don't get a visa, I don't know if I can do long distance again, I mean I guess time will only tell.

Then Sunday afternoon I came here to Pimparello, a place where I have always been in love with since the first time I came here 8 years ago. Here I am surrounded by nature and people who like me. I mean I get off the bus and there are my friends shouting my name. I know there are many people in Chicago who love having me around but I think the big difference is Chicago is big and people are always busy, where here we are all in the same area and have time to hang out with each other. Here I also have my own space. I can do what I want more or less, I have my own room to keep how I want. Here I learned and wanted to keep my room nice and take care of me personally. In Chicago I have to many other things to worry about and that is not bad I choose to do that but here I can turn it off. I can focus on me and the life I want.

I don't know the point of this blog really, I had more ideas but now can't put them in words. I guess the most important thing is that here I am happy and I hope I can find a way to stay here.