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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Enjoy today…it seems so easy, but it’s not always an easy thing to do. All day matters make the awareness of that fade away to the background.

There are days that I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by everything I had to take in that day and everything I had to do. I’m feeling stressed out and all I want then is a moment alone, a moment of silence and no distractions at all. And when I lay down in bed at night I realise that I didn’t really enjoy the day… Sometimes it’s so worse that thoughts and worries keep me awake at night.

Worrying…starting with a nagging thought, followed by more thoughts. Before you know it thoughts are tumbling around in your head, you’re thinking irrationally and end up mentally and physically drained.

Tired and with a head full of thoughts and worries, I was watching our daughter this week. She was drawing, she kept on talking and was all happy.
It made me realise that I was worrying too much, not only that moment, but in general.
One look at our daughter made me remember that I should let go of the worries and just enjoy that moment.

Sometimes children are such an eye opener. They don’t worry about the future. They don’t even know how to worry, they play and enjoy every moment of what it is.
They haven’t learned to think ahead, or mull over the past.

I grabbed that moment and sat down next to my daughter and made a drawing myself too. And we had fun. For a moment I stopped worrying and just enjoyed the time I was spending with her.

That moment made me write this poem.

You’re drawing and painting A flower, a butterfly… A cat…a tree…a bird… A heart and sunshine

Beautiful drawings and paintings with colours so bright they’re telling a story they’re a reflection of your mind

You’re a dreamer Dreaming of being a princess Dreaming of being an artist Dreaming of what you’ll get for Christmas

You see things, little or big Things I don’t see anymore Things I take for granted Things you still have to explore

When you remember a tune, you’re humming When you’re happy, you’re jumping When you hear a song you’re dancing And when you’re proud, you’re clapping

Joys of innocence Something you only know Innocence that will dissapear Will fade away as you grow

I love watching what you’re doing You make me aware of what’s important Teach me to leave my worries behind Show me how to live in the moment

All I wish for you Is to enjoy your childhood years Enjoy every moment of it Cause soon the innocence will dissapear

I will cherish these memories Memories of you being a child Captured in my heart and my soul forever Memories that will always make me smile

As always, a song comes to mind while writing a blog.
This blog made me think of Silver Lining by David Gray

I love writing and with my blog I’m creating stories for the world to see. I’m aware of the power of words, but this awareness always fades as I’m pulled into everyday matters. Last week something happened that brought back the awareness of the power of words and it’s the reason why I’m writing this blog.

I was having a conversation with someone and it left me speechless…overwhelmed by what was being said, I just couldn’t find the right words to react. The words being spoken caused an overload of emotions. It just had to sink in.

Words…they have such an incredible power. Entire nations can be moved by only one word. Words have caused wars, but also bring peace. Words have brought me joy, laughter and filled my heart with love. Words have given me knowledge and understanding. Words bring excitement, they lift me up, comfort me, but also inspire me. But, words can also bring me down. Words have hurt me, have broken me. They left me speechless, brought tears and sleepless nights.

And it goes further than that. The words we use also affect what we experience. For example: a glass is half full or half empty. Another example: you could say you’re lazy, but you can also say you’re effectively using your time. Two completely different explanations. One explanation from a negative point of view and one from a positive point of view. The way we say things can make a huge difference in the way we think and feel.

Besides that we all experience words in different ways. Words can make me angry, but the same words can be experienced as annoying for someone else and not cause anger at all.
Words can make me feel frustrated, while someone else only feels a little bit confused. Words that make me laugh, won’t make another person laugh and vice versa.

Words…we’re surrounded by them.
What I love about words is what can be created with them. Lyrics, poems, books, stories, blogs, they can truly affect me.
Listening to a song for example can right away put a smile on my face or make me cry.
Often I’m touched by poems and stories. A book can take me to another place and make me forget about everything happening around me. And blogs, I love blogs, simply because they often show me another side of things, make me aware of things or simply make me laugh.

Here are some really great videos that show the impact of words. Please take time to watch them.

Back to the conversation I had last week.
A conversation that left me speechless… just a couple of sentences, but having a huge impact on me and caused sleepless nights. But at the same time it also brought inspiration.
Inspiration to write this poem:

The sun sets
Taking the light away
Darkness sets in
End of another day…

The night falls in
The world gets quiet
Leaving no distractions
Feeling tired

It’s getting late
I’m still awake
Restless and alone
With thoughts and feelings I can’t shake

The darkness is overwhelming
It’s holding me tight
It’s haunting me
Making me feel a prisoner of the night

It’s been a long time since I posted my last blog…Last year, just an hour before 2014 started I wrote my last blog.

Yesterday I tried to log in to my blog and I even forgot the password. Once I reset the password and could log in again I looked at the last blogs I wrote. A sad feeling came over me. An empty blog…no new posts for months. It made me realise how much I miss writing. That was enough to trigger me to finally write a blog again.

And here I am writing…

This is actually my 5th attempt to write something for this blog. I already deleted everything I wrote 4 times. Annoyed I was just chatting with a friend telling her I was making an attempt to write again, but that it was crap. The only thing she said to me was to stop thinking and start writing.
So guess that is what I’m doing now.

The urge to write wasn’t there for a long time. The last time I felt that urge for writing was during the last hours of 2013. After that I didn’t write one blog anymore. Simply because I couldn’t. So often I made an attempt to write, but somehow everything I wrote didn’t make sense or annoyed me.
More than once people mentioned to me that I should write a blog again. ‘I know!’ was all I could say to that. At moments like that I missed writing, but still couldn’t get myself doing it.

The main reason for me not writing is because things haven’t been sunshine and lollipops over the past 8 months. It’s been a tough road and it’s been very dark, but despite everything there are a few things I never lost sight of. No matter how tough things were and still are, the most essential things in life never faded… love, hope and faith…
Surrounded by love I’m moving on. I’m scared, but having faith. And I truly hope better times will arrive soon.

There are two songs that come to mind while writing this blog.
Both songs are from Atlum Schema. He recently released a new album ‘Year 0’.
Such an amazing album! Beautiful songs with lyrics I can so relate to.
The man behind Atlum Schema is Andy Mort. Not only does he create wonderful music, he’s also a very talented writer and author.
His blog, http://www.sheepdressedlikewolves.com, is one of my favourite blogs, actually I’m hooked on it. Please check it out.

The songs from ‘Year 0’ that really stood out to me are ‘Pretending to Sleep’ and ‘Traveller’