I would tell him next time though, "There's no need to relieve yourself outside. You're welcome to use our bathroom when you need to!". That is, of course, if you're okay with him doing that.

But with that wording, you're pretty much telling him you saw him peeing - I know I would rather be blissfully unaware of anyone seeing me do that. Especially someone who I was going to have to interact with after I knew that they saw!

Just pretend you forgot to show him where it was and leave it at that. (Presuming you would be okay with him using it)

I would tell him next time though, "There's no need to relieve yourself outside. You're welcome to use our bathroom when you need to!". That is, of course, if you're okay with him doing that.

But with that wording, you're pretty much telling him you saw him peeing - I know I would rather be blissfully unaware of anyone seeing me do that. Especially someone who I was going to have to interact with after I knew that they saw!

Just pretend you forgot to show him where it was and leave it at that. (Presuming you would be okay with him using it)

And if you're not ok with them using it (you general), you can't really get upset if they use the yard when there's no alternative.

I'm curious as to what those of you who don't want tradesmen using your bathroom expect them to do if they're there working all day. They're doing a job for you; the least you can do is let them use the facilities if they need to.

Yeah, I mean, for the time they are in your home, they are essentially at their place of employment. I'd find it pretty bizarre if my boss didn't let me use the loo at work.

However, there is a question of security when it is your home. We had work done many years ago and I offered the use of the bathroom and was told that they never used a client's bathroom, because of "the homeowners need to feel secure." They felt that the homeowners shouldn't have to worry about putting away medicines, etc. They also wouldn't eat or drink anything that I offered. (Until the last day, when I offered cookies as they were packing. )

When I have people working in my house/yard I tell them where the first floor bathroom is. If I forgot to do this I would expect them to ask me where it is. What I don't expect is that they will use my yard as a toilet. The OP was home when the incident happened. The pool installer should have asked.

The only part of this that would bother me is if it was a matter of modesty and he is easily seen by other people in the act. But otherwise, your dog likely relieves itself in the yard as does birds, squirrels, rabbits, and any other manner of creatures including butterflies (how dare they! ). I don't think it is going to hurt anything.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything because it could strain the situation further. Once the work is done you won't have to worry about him being in the yard anymore. Is the additional conflict worth your discomfort over it seeming icky to you? Are you so grossed out by it that you can't stand the thought of it happening again? Or can you live with it and let it go because he will be gone soon enough.

My understanding, knowing somebody who worked in landscaping when he was in his 20s, is that it is standard to find a wooded/bushy area to relieve yourself in throughout the day. It sounds a little gross to me, but then I realized they don't have much of a choice. Working outside all day, they need to drink a lot of water and stay hydrated, and, well they'll need to relieve themselves at some point. I can certainly understand homeowners who wouldn't want the workers to come inside to use their bathroom, or businesses who have a policy that their workers are not to use the client's bathroom.

I can't imagine it will improve relations to mention you're not impressed with him "going" in the yard.

Think about it for a minute, and figure out what you want to achieve. Quick installation of pool, done well? No further issues with arguing over differing perspectives? Figure out what you want, then what wording will help you get it. Sweetonsno said it beautifully with regard to "managing" the toileting issue.

I think you're right. I need to decide how I want this to go and work backwards from there as to what to say,

The very first thing is scheduling the rest of the install.

He was kind of pushy about getting it done this weekend. I am constantly being told how busy he is and that if I want it done it has to be now.

So, I acquiesced on the timetable. It didn't really matter that much to me and there were a few positives.

The rest of the install cannot take place until after the missing parts arrive which is supposed to be Wednesday. He said he would plan on doing the rest on Thursday but it might be rainy that day so then he says he will come the day after.

I want him to wait until the weekend or after. Because he made such a huge mess in the backyard and refuses to clean it up, I have to have someone come in and fix things before the pool is erected.

(He kept telling me that he would grade the piles of dirt that he was piling up all over the yard but then he just left it there. He also drove the machine over my concrete patio and cracked the corner right off!)

So, the very next issue I will have with him is that he will want to come when he wants to come and not at a time that is agreeable to both of us.

I'm not very good at being proactive so I will use some version of Sweet's script to address all the issues including the peeing, that I think will come up.

The only part of this that would bother me is if it was a matter of modesty and he is easily seen by other people in the act. But otherwise, your dog likely relieves itself in the yard as does birds, squirrels, rabbits, and any other manner of creatures including butterflies (how dare they! ). I don't think it is going to hurt anything.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything because it could strain the situation further. Once the work is done you won't have to worry about him being in the yard anymore. Is the additional conflict worth your discomfort over it seeming icky to you? Are you so grossed out by it that you can't stand the thought of it happening again? Or can you live with it and let it go because he will be gone soon enough.

His act of peeing in my yard is symbolic of how he thinks he can treat me. I feel if I don't push back and address some of these issues there will be more serious issues to deal with.

The only part of this that would bother me is if it was a matter of modesty and he is easily seen by other people in the act. But otherwise, your dog likely relieves itself in the yard as does birds, squirrels, rabbits, and any other manner of creatures including butterflies (how dare they! ). I don't think it is going to hurt anything.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything because it could strain the situation further. Once the work is done you won't have to worry about him being in the yard anymore. Is the additional conflict worth your discomfort over it seeming icky to you? Are you so grossed out by it that you can't stand the thought of it happening again? Or can you live with it and let it go because he will be gone soon enough.

His act of peeing in my yard is symbolic of how he thinks he can treat me. I feel if I don't push back and address some of these issues there will be more serious issues to deal with.

First: I don't think peeing in your yard is cool, but I do agree with others that if he doesn't have a convenient bathroom (i.e., yours) then I'm not sure where he's supposed to go.

Second: this is a needlessly complicated way of looking at this issue--for you. Why make it harder on yourself or more serious than it (necessarily) is? It's symbolic to you; he may or may not have thought it through at all. In fact, I highly doubt he knows you were watching him urinate.

What kind of "serious issues" do you anticipate? For the life of me, I can't think of the kind of escalation you seem to have in mind as a logical consequence of such an (admittedly, careless) act. He still wants to get paid, and has some stake in quality workmanship and future business, does he not?

If you are fearful of serious property damage, or theft, or defecation, or ... whatever it is that you feel a need to take a stand against, why not fire him right now?

The only part of this that would bother me is if it was a matter of modesty and he is easily seen by other people in the act. But otherwise, your dog likely relieves itself in the yard as does birds, squirrels, rabbits, and any other manner of creatures including butterflies (how dare they! ). I don't think it is going to hurt anything.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything because it could strain the situation further. Once the work is done you won't have to worry about him being in the yard anymore. Is the additional conflict worth your discomfort over it seeming icky to you? Are you so grossed out by it that you can't stand the thought of it happening again? Or can you live with it and let it go because he will be gone soon enough.

His act of peeing in my yard is symbolic of how he thinks he can treat me. I feel if I don't push back and address some of these issues there will be more serious issues to deal with.

First: I don't think peeing in your yard is cool, but I do agree with others that if he doesn't have a convenient bathroom (i.e., yours) then I'm not sure where he's supposed to go.

Second: this is a needlessly complicated way of looking at this issue--for you. Why make it harder on yourself or more serious than it (necessarily) is? It's symbolic to you; he may or may not have thought it through at all. In fact, I highly doubt he knows you were watching him urinate.

I agree that making this into a symbolic issue is inviting aggravation. I am also interested in how you expect him to deal with the bathroom. Have you invited him to use yours? If not, I think you are either need to let him use the yard or be prepared to pay for his time to get to another bathroom. Nothing else seems fair.

What kind of "serious issues" do you anticipate? For the life of me, I can't think of the kind of escalation you seem to have in mind as a logical consequence of such an (admittedly, careless) act. He still wants to get paid, and has some stake in quality workmanship and future business, does he not?

If you are fearful of serious property damage, or theft, or defecation, or ... whatever it is that you feel a need to take a stand against, why not fire him right now?

I am not worried about escalation. He is just running roughshod over me and it cannot continue or the project is not going to be successful.

What other issues am I worred about?

That if the pool is not leveled properly he will refuse to correct it or argue that it has to be that way for some reason or that it doesn't matter.

That he will try and place the pool where it is convenient for him and not where I have told him it is to be.

...he made such a huge mess in the backyard and refuses to clean it up, I have to have someone come in and fix things before the pool is erected.

...He kept telling me that he would grade the piles of dirt that he was piling up all over the yard but then he just left it there.

...He also drove the machine over my concrete patio and cracked the corner right off!

Wait, what? Here's what I'd do - call him and tell him something came up and you have to postpone finishing the install for a week. Then call someone else and have them come out and give you a quote to do it right, including correcting the damage he's done. Finally, call him back and tell him you've decided not to have him complete the job and you'll send him a check for the work he did MINUS the cost of repairing and cleaning up what he ruined. This guy is a jerk. You hired him, not the other way around. He's not doing the job you hired him for, in fact he's breaking things and making a mess in addition to not even doing the work correctly. Get rid of him.

...he made such a huge mess in the backyard and refuses to clean it up, I have to have someone come in and fix things before the pool is erected.

...He kept telling me that he would grade the piles of dirt that he was piling up all over the yard but then he just left it there.

...He also drove the machine over my concrete patio and cracked the corner right off!

Wait, what? Here's what I'd do - call him and tell him something came up and you have to postpone finishing the install for a week. Then call someone else and have them come out and give you a quote to do it right, including correcting the damage he's done. Finally, call him back and tell him you've decided not to have him complete the job and you'll send him a check for the work he did MINUS the cost of repairing and cleaning up what he ruined. This guy is a jerk. You hired him, not the other way around. He's not doing the job you hired him for, in fact he's breaking things and making a mess in addition to not even doing the work correctly. Get rid of him.