ATLANTA, GA – This morning, hundreds of confused Russian immigrants invaded that U.S. state of Georgia. After hearing about the Russia's military response to Georgia's military attack on Southern Ossetia on the news, militias were quickly formed. The militia stopped outside the city limits of Atlanta this afternoon, when they "felt like they must be in Gori". Thankfully, before the militia could open fire on "innocent Georgian civilians" – an act which would have probably killed the "civilians" – the Russians were forced to take one of their mandated twice hourly vodka breaks. This did not, however, save the Russian immigrants from the brave men and women of the American Navy, who used their gunships to lay waste to the entire militia in a matter of hoursseconds.
No Georgians were hurt. Except for the ones who were Russian immigrants. They got killed, and were then sold for profit to KFC.

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