Dr. Love Keeps Marriage Sparks Alive By LEON ALLIGOOD Staff Writer for The Tennessean Reporter Leon Alligood was kind to tag me “Dr. Love” in his 2008 Valentine’s Day article, but I’m really not a “doctor” at all. I hold a Master’s degree in divinity but no doctoral degrees.

ROD K - HELP FOR YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP

Most couples who come to see me are experiencing one or more of the following: The threat of divorce; Infidelity; Communication problems; Poor Sexual Relating; Loneliness in the relationship; Arguing; or Addiction (drugs, sex, alcohol, pornography, work, food or gambling).

Why do I work with couples?

Because: I believe in marriage as the crucible for healing and growth. I believe that when two people stay connected and work thru conflict that the world is a better and safer place for all. I believe that we are relational beings and that deep healing and opportunities for growth are presented in our most intimate relationships. I believe that we could have world peace if we learned to love, and that we learn to love first as parent/child; then we get a second chance to learn more, unlearn, relearn in our most intimate adult relationships and for most of us that is with our marriage partners. This is a big part of WHY I come to my office everyday. -Rod 9/24/14

An Effective Approach to Improving Relationships

A pastoral counselor and psychotherapist with more than 30 years of experience, Rod Kochtitzky (Kuh tit skee) specializes in counseling couples regarding marriage and relationship issues. Rod is considered by many to be one of the top rated marriage therapist in Nashville.

COUNSELING PRACTICE

Rod serves couples seeking healing, growth, change, renewal and enhancement of their relationships through his private counseling practice and through a series of workshops scheduled throughout the year.

COUNSELING APPROACH

Rod's approach is designed to help couples of all faiths and of those of no religious belief build lasting, mutually satisfying and rewarding relationships that foster personal and spiritual growth. Certified as an advanced clinician in Imago Therapy, Rod specializes in educating and counseling couples using the approach developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., an internationally known Pastoral Counselor and author of the best-selling Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles.

The Imago approach enables couples to learn the basic principles of building a lasting relationship. Couples learn to:

Understand why their personal expectations from love relationships are often not met.

Develop the level of safety and intimacy that both partners need to support a solid, long-term commitment to the relationship.

Perceive their partner as a distinct individual rather than an extension or reflection of themselves.

The goal is to enable couples to establish reality-based love relationships that serve as a solid foundation for personal change and growth - and to discover (or re-discover!) the joy and spiritual potential of being together.

This is one of my favorite books. I love cartoon books; they are so readable. One of the first steps toward building a conscious relationship is becoming aware of your language. This booklet uses the jackal as the symbol of habitual speech, what we all grow up hearing and naturally use. This jackal speech is usually full of shaming, blaming, accusing, criticizing our partner. This booklet uses the giraffe as the symbol of conscious speech. I did not know this until I read this booklet, giraffes have a 27lb heart in order to pump blood up that long neck. So they are symbols of speaking from the heart - learning to language truth from vulnerability. Giraffes also have that long neck that gives them that higher perspective. It is like seeing from the observing ego or your higher self. This booklet is about a 30 min read. I give copies of this booklet to couples who come for an initial interview. You can find this booklet plus many more products that help teach NVC (Non-violent Communication) at http://www.groktheworld.com/products .

This is a great vehicle for re-discovering how fantastic your partner is.

I only wish we had come 20 years ago.

Our marriage was heading for divorce. These skills have saved us from making an impulsive mistake.

We both needed reminders of why we love each other and the things we love. Often it is hard to express. We were able to do that here. Also, we were able to openly express our needs and truly feel heard by our partner.

Eighteen years of an okay to good marriage had allowed us to stagnate and to accept the last seven years of small hurts and fears without resolution. Imago gives us the tools to grow an “OK marriage” which causes pain into a thriving joyful partnership. The weekend is like three giant strides on the journey.

Rod,
The story I tell myself (and others) is that my marriage was saved by an amazing IMAGO therapist. Thank you for helping us get back on track to getting the love we want!

Click here for more excellent information about relationships from an Imago perspective.