The wife of a would-be jihadi who allegedly travelled to Syria to join a terror training camp told him to "go and die" in a row after he tried to persuade his family to join him, a court heard on Wednesday.

Mashudur Choudhury, 31, a father of two from Portsmouth, allegedly told his wife the family should migrate and get away from the "filth" around them. But when she heard it was Syria he wanted to move to, she is said to have replied: "Syria? No … You want to go and die in the battlefield, go and die, I really mean it, just go. I will be relieved at last."

Choudhury denies the charge of engaging in conduct in preparation for acts of terrorism by travelling to Syria to join a terror training camp in October last year.

He was one of five men from Portsmouth who travelled to Syria via Turkey last October, the Crown says. The men left in the wake of another self-confessed jihadi from Portsmouth, Ifthekar Jaman, who the court heard had fought and probably died in Syria with the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (Isis).

Alison Morgan, prosecuting, told Kingston crown court that the case was not about the rights and wrongs of events in Syria.

"You may well feel great sympathy towards those who have been the victims of that conflict … you may have an opinion about the regime of President Assad … You are not being asked to return a verdict on the political situation in Syria," she said, adding that Choudhury's acts fell within the legal definition of terrorism. "In short it means the use, or threat of use, of serious violence to people or property where the use of violence is designed to influence a government or intimidate the public … where the threat of violence or violence is made to advance a political, religious, racial or ideological cause. The prosecution's case … is that he was travelling to Syria to train to fight in pursuit of an ideological or religious case. You are not being asked to determine who is right and who is at fault in Syria."

Choudhury, the court heard, travelled from Gatwick to Antalya, Turkey, on 8 October last year and on to Syria with four others after speaking to Jaman on Skype about the practicalities of getting to the conflict and what money, clothes, shoes and other equipment he should bring. He allegedly told associates to tell anyone who asked about him that he had a job in Turkey and also created a story that he was an aid worker.

The court heard that Choudhury stayed for 17 days, and after hearing of anger among his community in Portsmouth, who were blaming him for the group's departure, he returned to Britain – the only one of the men to do so. He was arrested at Gatwick on 25 October.

The court heard he may have returned out of fear or because he had not made the grade. After his arrest a police officer heard him crying in his cell because, he said, of the guns being fired and pointed.

But the court heard that Skype conversations between Choudhury and Jaman in the weeks before the defendant left the country revealed his intention to go and train for terrorist purposes. The defendant allegedly asked on one occasion about the severity of the training regime. "I read something on a website stating four months on average. Sounded proper hardcore, like running for 10km without stopping," Choudhury said.

In one exchange the defendant allegedly suggested a name for the group from Portsmouth in Syria – the al-Britani Brigade Bangladeshi Bad Boys.

He is also said to have asked how he and the others would get across the border to Syria and whether they would all be trained together.

The court heard Jaman told him: "There may be a chance for us to learn sniping together, battlefield training."

To which Choudhury allegedly replied: "Yeah man, that sounds sick."

He had also spoken to his wife about his intention to go to Syria for some time, the court heard. In text messages between the couple in July 2013, he allegedly attempted to persuade her to migrate with him and the children.

"What good is a husband, father, brother that sits in comfort, sleeps in comfort, eats in comfort but neglects the cause of women being raped, children being attacked, mothers being decapitated, and daughters being murdered?" he asked. "If we could migrate, would you?"

"Possibly, but where?" she replied.

"Away from the filth around us, hijra [migration] for the sake of Allah, life is beautiful over there, I am getting my information from married brothers with kids who have migrated there."