Real-Life Role Playing: What is Your Profession?

Today, let’s delve deep into the nerd aspect of Nerd Fitness and turn life into a giant role-playing game. Why? Because it’s damn fun, nerdy, and quite applicable. If you’ve played World of Warcraft, Everquest, Final Fantasy, or practically any fantasy-based RPG this article will feel right at home.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, this will still be a fun exercise for you.

Let’s get started.

Your Race is Already Determined

Before you pick your profession, let’s talk about your “race.” Every RPG always has elves, hobbits, ogres, trolls, humans, wood elves, night elves, etc. Each race has their own particular attributes that make them who they are. Take a look in the mirror RIGHT NOW. That’s your race. 300 pounds overweight, 50 pounds underweight, average, tall, short, beer gut, 6-pack abs, etc. These are attributes about yourself that you cannot change immediately, so that’s your starting point. Depending on your “race,” certain professions will be easier or harder for you to obtain.

Here’s an example: If you are an ogre (really tall and quite overweight), it’s going to be more work for you to become a really good Assassin (Parkour traceur), but if you’re willing to put the time in, anything is possible. Maybe you’re an elf (incredibly thin) and you want to be a super-strong Warrior. You’re going to need to spend months and months eating insane amounts of calories and lifting heavy weights to get results, but it is possible.

Make sense? Good! Let’s check out the different professions.

Warrior

This tank is incredibly strong and powerful, pushing weight like it’s his job.

Which is good, because it IS his job. If you ever see any battle, warriors are the first responders, defending their party while attacking the enemy. Strong as an ox, Warriors constantly try to push themselves to be bigger, better, stronger. Eating and lifting are the only two things Warriors worry about. You do NOT want to go punch for punch with a Warrior. You will get destroyed.

Primary attributes: Strength, power

Training: Pure strength-building weight training.

Real life example: Any World’s Strongest Man competitor.

Scout

Scouts can cover great distances in a short amount of time.

Built for distance and efficiency rather than strength and power, these guys can outlast any animal on the planet. They eat a diet higher in carbohydrates than most (though they can still be healthy carbs!) to give them enough fuel to survive these grueling treks cross-country, and their muscles are designed to last for hours rather than minutes or seconds (like a Warrior). A growing contingent of scouts have moved to barefoot running, returning to their ancient ancestral roots.

Primary attributes: Stamina, endurance.

Training: Lots of distance training, long bike rides, high volume exercises with any sort of weight training.

Real life example: Marathon runners, Ironman athletes.

Ranger

Rangers are a hybrid of Warriors and Scouts, built for strength AND endurance.

A jack-of-all-trades but master of none, Rangers are well-equipped for any situation. Their weight training revolves around varying the reps, sets, and downtime to continually force those body to adapt to new situations. Usually Rangers follow a Paleo Diet, eating things that can only be found in nature. Thanks to this type of training and diet, Rangers have incredibly low body-fat percentages.

Assassin

To assassins, the world is one giant playground.

Every building can be climbed, every gap can be jumped, every obstacle can be conquered. Assassins spend most of their time training with functional body weight exercises as that’s usually the only thing they need to lift.

Fearless, calculated, and efficient, Assassins have low body fat percentages because extra weight could mean the difference between life and death on a mission. They have solid endurance as well, allowing them to progress through an obstacle-filled environment without breaking a sweat.

Monk

This isn’t the type of monk you’d want to run into on a bad day…

These monks can kick your ass with their fists and feet, and they will do it before you even knew what happened. Incredibly agile, lightning fast, and loaded with power, Monks specialize in martial arts to stay in shape and destroy the opposition.

Training is mostly spent in dojos and in the ring, with some weight training thrown in to help produce stronger punches and kicks. Monks only carry enough weight and muscle to provide maximum efficiency with each attack. Muscles are compact and powerful, core strength is high, and speed is favored over size.

Druid

Druids are one with nature.

Oftentimes consuming a plant-only diet, they specialize in being one with themselves, finding balance in everything. These peaceful folk spend a majority of their time training in the arts of yoga, meditation, and tai chi. Strength training is only done if necessary, as most druids aren’t interested in massive muscles or explosive power. Druids also follow a minimalist diet, high in vegetables, fruits, and nuts. Some eat meat, but only enough to get sufficient protein. Processed foods are the enemy.

Primary attributes: agility, flexibility

Training: meditation, yoga, tai chi

Real life example: Yogis, tai chi instructors

My Profession

I was born an elf (thin, tough to build muscle), and I want to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid…let’s call it a Berzerker class?

I’m generally a pretty happy, calm, goofy guy. But when I’m in training mode, I turn on berserker mode: I start foaming at the mouth, I walk around with this crazy look in my eye, and I push myself hard than I ever thought possible.

Sure, it’d be a much quicker path for me to become a scout (as I already have the body type), but I love getting stronger and training in things that I truly enjoy, so I picked a different direction.

Why?

Because I can, and because it makes me happy.

How About You?

Leave a comment with your current race and what profession you’d like to be.

I picked six classes up above to keep things simple, but let me know if I left out one that should be in there. Feel free to combine two classes like I did as well. Just so we’re clear: all classes are gender-neutral, so you can be a female warrior or male druid. There are no restrictions!

Once you have your profession selected, feel free to join us in the Nerd Fitness message boards (it’s free!) and join up with your guild!

Want to take things a step further?

Check out the Nerd Fitness Academy, where you can actually pick your class, complete quests, gain experience, and yes…level up!

I’m an elf, just started, and I want to be an Assassin/Ranger hybrid, I want to have endurance, be good at climbing, be fast for long amounts of time, and have decent strength.

Elizabeth Lorine Gibson

I’m a hobbit. From a family of hobbits. 5’5″ and getting closer to 300 lbs every day.
Profession: Druid
Just started and already making myself correct newbie mistakes. 😀

Caitlin Cat O’Donovan Carter

Lol, I’m under 5 ft tall and at age 55, after 4 kids later in life (first set in my 30s, second set in my 40s, and all 4 by c-sections), I’m pretty much Hobbit-shaped…like in the Rankin-Bass movies not the new live actions where I think of them more like true half-lings not actual Hobbits..cus they’re too skinny, lol…I don’t really feel I fit into any of the classes listed.
I see myself right now as a Human-Hobbit whose soul is Celtic-Klingon and whose inspirational character is Gabrielle from Xena….cus I am her coloring and a storyteller by nature….so I feel like I am on her road right now just out of Potadeia….so it’s Rebel for me at the moment cus she rebelled against that mundane village life. Maybe one day Amazon Princess too? I love archery, foil fencing, tai chi, and IsshinRyu karate, and weight training. (Before kids, I was at one point, after Jenny Craig and Family Fitness membership, 98 lbs fit and able to bench press nearly twice my weight.)

Jen Baye

The last two posts are from Hobbits, of which I am as well! At 5’2″, and with my deep love of food, gardening, and comfort, it only makes sense.
I’m thinking druid? Not sure. Can druids be carnivores? I’ve tried going vegetarian a few times & my Dr told me to stop – I don’t have the genes for it, & being sensitive to soy doesn’t help. Veggies & I get along ok, but when I tried to go veg last time, I nearly shanked my roomie for a chicken sandwich.

Heather Novak

Well druid looks like the potentially laziest class…. So I’d say I’m there & would like to move to assassin class. I’ve never been fit, just thinner. I’d like to change that.

FredZ

I think I may have found my problem – if I am honest, I probably would want to be a wizard…which isn’t listed, since wizards really have no desire to work out. Like me 😉

Wow this website looks great!
I wish I would’ve come up with the idea..

I would definitely be a druid. I hate any processed food and will go out of my way to avoid it.
Although I also have traits of a scout as I walk barefeet whenever I can (in the house, small distances to my car etc).

Let’s just pretend it’s Dungeons & Dragons and that I’ve got two classes!

Vlad Padina

Ha ha!
I was a skeletal Elf (5’9″ 130 lb) Peasant (i.e. good for nothing physically) for the first 15 years of my life. For the next circa 7, still an Elf… Climber, but eventually a relatively strong one: got up to 150 in a year, and then eventually got to do a chin-up with 110 extra lb, and a 400 DL. When I began, I dreamt of becoming something like an ogre (pro bodybuilder or strongman), but after 6 years of not growing, I almost stopped hoping.

Theeeeeen, after a few more years, my transformation into an Elven BIG FAT WARRIOR began: inbetween 2014 and today, I’ve gained 70 more lb without resorting to demonic concoctions (i.e. PEDs), and now I want to gain some 30-40 more! (but I got it out of my head I could be like those mythical creatures)

HA HA HA! PEOPLE WILL THINK I AM SOME KIND OF GIANT DWARF!

Oh, and I want to become a max level warrior-assassin, too, since the only thing better than being able to lift 800 lb (which I don’t… yet) is being able to lift 800 lb AND dodge and strike like nobody’s business!

Well, actually, a warrior-assassin-wizard would be even better. Yeah. That! Because the only thing better than being able to lift 800 lb AND dodge and strike like nobody’s business is to be able to lift 800 lb AND dodge and strike like nobody’s business AND have more knowledge of ancient and future lore than most will ever have in their mortal lives!

(hmmm… wonder if I could become some kind of giant draco-lich?)

Anna Dunster

I must be half orc or something. Not especially taller than average but on the heavy side (not ridiculously heavy either). Plenty of CON and decent STR but my DEX could use some work xD Ranger with shades of druid sounds about right….

Jenna Hohenstein

Humm… a tall Dwarf. I do stand about 5’4″ which is average for a human, but Im chunky and have next to zero flexibility.

I initially thought I’d fit in with druids but I like the assassins too. I think I’ll just call myself a bard. I will do a combo of meditation, yoga, body weight exercises all while singing along with my Playlist to inspire the workout. Who said support characters were weak?

Liss Webb

I’m short, tubby, working off babyweight of 2 pregnancies… I remember when I used to be elfin (not Elven, tall and skinny, but elfin, short and skinny muscle), back when I was in training to be a monk. Now I’m probably just an undereating dwarf (I gain a lot of weight when I don’t eat)… eventually I would like to be an assassin/druid/monk blend. But right now I’m a pasty network technician.

Liss Webb

Or break any pots looking for money.

Adriano Frijo

This is such an awesome idea! I love this! I am probably somewhere between a warrior because I love the challenge of building strength, a Monk because I have done a few martial arts and a Druid because at the moment I am practicing Yoga and meditation regularly. Is there such a thing hahaha? Well if I am gaining strength through all that then I guess I am a warrior.

Ken

“What is your PROFESSION!?”

“Aroo! Aroo! Aroo!!”

Amanda Doty

I’m a dwarf (who is tall for her race). I’m sturdily built, but I am carrying more weight than I should be. I’m a combination of scout and assassin, a true rogue. Not so lawful, agile, quiet, strong and quick. What I’m saying is that I should probably not be in charge of the loot list, but I should definitely open all of the treasure chests — to take my finder’s fee and ensure that it’s not trapped or anything…

Doctor Game Geek

Former elf here who could probably get away with eating behemoth burgers, jellies, and goddess knows what else. Now that I’m getting on in years, I have a halfling mead belly and I’m not very well toned at all. I still visualize myself as a Ranger though.

Kevin Herbert

I was thinking Warrior Mage hybrid. Guess that would be Monk here. Core strength, martial Arts, wrestling, yoga and meditation.

Monsterbrains

Deffo a dwarf. I’d say I’m looking to dual-class as warrior and monk.

Jessica Schnorr (Lysyndaara)

Pretty sure I’m a gnome at the moment… short and pretty chubby, but of course adorable. I would love to be a warrior/druid hybrid, balancing strength with flexibility and focus. My whole life, balance is something I have lacked, but always needed. I am Type I Diabetic and asthmatic, and I spend most of my days playing video games or watching TV after work, instead of playing with my kids or doing something else more active. I am excited to start this process and become less of a less of a lazy gnome and more like a Jedi… but of course, still adorable.

Bailey Ford

I think i am the scout because I can run really far for long distances of time

Anonymous

Assassin is atm my class but id like to be a hybrid of assassin and scout
But partly a warrior so like kind of like a very fast agile scout. Do in other words assassin+scout+warrior=so like a nymph

Amber Rivera

I think I’ve always been Elvish (people always point that out), could never gain weight no matter what I did. Since my last pregnancy I kept on 15 lbs for the first time in my life thanks to getting my driver’s license while pregnant and no longer trekking everywhere.
Although I finally am sitting at my goal weight from all my life, it’s not healthy weight. I lost a lot of strength and am holding the weight only around my midsection in the form of fat.
I seemed to always be a ranger/assassin hybrid but I’d LOVE to add in a high monk ability to that.
If I can stay the same weight and completely change my abilities and structure I would be thrilled.

Sarah

I think I’m a dwarf (lady dwarves do exist!) or halfling, as I’m short-ish (5’4) and stout. Like Frodo and companions walking out of the Shire, I’m happy to march all day as long as there’s a chance of some decent grub at the end of it (think long country walk followed by pub!) and like a dwarf I’m pretty strong and fairly good at building muscle (though primarily in my butt and thighs atm as I do a lot of cycling and spin, though my arms are seeing the benefit of some weight training.) I think I’m probably best built to be a Warrior/Ranger hybrid too. I’m told strength training is good for both weight loss and muscle building, but I’ve yet to get serious with it – might book a sesh with the PT studio that’s opened up near me…

Anthony M Carpenter

so what race would a 5’8″ 200lbs with a beer gut be?

Jordan Williams

#DruidScoutlife

jagjit bhatia

Ok I know this post is super old….but I have to comment 😛

Bro, I can’t tell you how much I love what you’re doing. Honestly. Obesity is one of the biggest problems our country faces and you have found and are implementing an AMAZING solution to it and targeting a group where (no offense to Geeks/Nerds (I’m one of you)) obesity as well as a lack of physical activity is common.

Thanks and keep up what you’re doing!

P.S. I think I’m a troll by race lol (5’6″, ~185 lbs). But my goal is to be a monk and I will train hard for it!

Bit late to the game, but doesn’t lok like I’m alone so:
I’m a dwarf, short, stalky, even good with my hands and adept at craftsmanship.
But I’d like to be a monk. I don’t like fighting, but just the shear understanding and control of oneself, inside and out, it’s like magic to me, and I want in!

I’m an ogre. 6’0 about 240, Doctor wants me to get down to about 195. I’m going Monk/Druid, since I’m pretty far down the Monk Path already. I’ve got one Black Belt in Aikido, now working on a second one in Pa Kua. I’m also a teacher, which helps too. Biggest challenge is managing all the demands on my time.

Jonathan Bennett

Race: Hobbit. Not too tall, eat way too many meals, carry extra weight around my midsection but not really anywhere else.
Current Class: Trader
Aspiring Class: Traveling merchant
I’d like to be able to lift, carry, and walk long distances with weight. I’d like to be able to run when necessary to get out of trouble or fight if I have to.

Katie Arnett

I am an elf-human halfling. I’m tallish like an elf, but I’ve got the broad shoulder and wider hips of a human. I consider myself a Ranger, a young one, but a Ranger nonetheless. I’m trying to fix my cardio/muscle imbalance without losing my cardio endurance or damaging my muscles.

Kyle

Currenlty either a slime or a mini-ogre. Going to try and work towards either ranger or assassin as that is the body type I’d like to be. Since I am not too tall 5’10” and I think I’d look pretty funny as a warrior :P.

Nate Wardrip

I believe I am a human(5’11, medium build, leaner then most with wider shoulders) and I’m going for a trifecta Ranger/Assassin/Monk combo. I’m calling it a Knight. An agile and strong fighter that can go for hours on end. I’m also drawing inspiration from Captain America(my fav MCU/Comic hero) and law enforcement(my career). My wife is also human(5’5” and medium build, also leaner) and is going after a Druid/Assassin combo named Adventurer.

Matt Gallagher

Would say I am an ogre here. 6’1 and nearly 300 pounds (unfortunately). Always been a large, broad person but all the fat has been progressive over the last 5 years or so. I was a warrior/monk class at one point about 7 years ago when I was in the service. I weightlifted, ran, and practiced kung fu (no really, it was a kung fu dojo) and also participated in a boxing league. I absolutely loved it.

When I got out of the service, I unfortunately let myself go slowly, and 7 years later, I am very overweight and a lot less strong. So my goal is definitely to return to my old class of warrior/monk. I wanna be a tank because of my strength, not because of my fat… Hehe. It will take a lot of work to become a master of those classes again, but I am determined to do it!