Ye gods. I see posts comparing SQL queries, so respond comparing SQL
queries. Then the wind changes direction and we're not really talking
about SQL anymore, even though we're bandying around SQL queries.

I'm swithering over replying directly to the message, because it
meanders from SQL to Java to something-or-other-else to acts of the
imagination so it's difficult (if not impossible) to form any coherent
thread of thought through it. And yet, some of it is just so
impressively wrong that it begs a response.