Augmented Reality?

2 Apr 13

Sooner than you can say ‘heads-up display’ we’ll all be meandering around pointing our mobile devices at the world and immediately knowing that the shop to your left is offering 50% discount on crop tops, the restaurant to your right has a bean soup salad special for just £6.73 and the bus about to run you over for not actually paying attention to the road, is going to Tottenham via Purley Green.

Yes the future is just about here and it is going to be augmented reality mad.

This is a great technological advancement and will enrich our lives like nothing else. Soon you will never be caught not knowing your neighbour’s dog’s name or how late the six fifteen to Manchester Piccadilly will actually arrive. Our computers will overlay street names, ingredients on tins and localised weather forecasts as if we couldn’t have previously lived without such information.

And when the tech really gets going it won’t be a mobile phone held aloft but a pair of high tech glasses. Google have already broken ground on this one. Soon it will be ‘so uncool’ not to make a spectacle of yourself.

The only downside will be the inevitable viruses. Not the predictable blank screen version, although that won’t be pleasant over your whole vision of course. No, fear the augmented pranksters.

Oh, it will start very friendly, perhaps with odd additions such as “The next bus is due in 316,928 years”, or “Size 10, you’ve got to be joking madam” or “This bacon is suitable for vegetarians”.

Then it will move on to projecting strange images. UFOs will appear up in the sky, Zebra crossings will appear to have actual Zebras crossing them and irksome gnomes will pop up all over the place being positively…irksome.

Finally, like all things, it will eventually follow the more sinister route. Lord Lucan will be seen sat on park benches all over town, brick walls will suddenly appear in your lane on the Motorway and eight foot scorpions will be lurking in every Fried Chicken doorway, even in Kentucky.

Who cares that the building society is lending at 0.03% over base rate if the Troll behind it is eating a goat? You have seen the future here. If you have those glasses of course

Vince Poynter

Vince Poynter is an aspiring tech author and kind supporter of The British Tech Network. Head over to @vinceunlimited on Twitter if this is your thing