Sounders FC: Champions! (Of What, Exactly?)

Evidently Sounders FC won some sort of “championship” Tuesday. I wasn’t aware that their season was over; honestly I couldn’t tell you, without looking, when their season begins or when it ends.

But wait, their season is not over. The championship they won Tuesday was something called the U.S. Open Cup, which, evidently, has been around for quite some time, dating back to 1914. The teams vying for the U.S. Open Cup are not only MLS teams, but rather the teams range from varying levels of what is dubbed the “United States Soccer Pyramid.” There are five levels in this pyramid, and the MLS sits at the top level, which is another way of saying that the MLS is battling to win a tournament against far inferior teams. Anyway, these teams whittle themselves down at their own respective levels and then they enter into a mixed-level 32-team tournament that began on June 15 and ended Tuesday. From the looks of the bracket, Sounders FC must have had a bye until the weekend of June 29-30, when 8 teams advanced and then 8 more teams joined in (including Sounders FC).

Evidently Sounders FC continued to play their MLS regular season games as this separate tournament was underway.

Sigh.

Look, it’s great that Sounders FC has taken off in the Puget Sound and I know that people around here love soccer and I have no problem with that. I actually think soccer is cool. Truly. I’m a father and I hope that my son will play the sport along with basketball, football, lacrosse, swimming, baseball, tennis, and golf, or whatever else. I don’t care what he does, but I want him to do something active. Soccer, like all team sports, teaches people to work together to achieve goals. It teaches accountability and responsibility, and it keeps minds and bodies occupied, and the sport really is about glorifying team above individual and I respect that. I’m on board with all of it… but that’s the game generally, and I’m not talking about that.

My beef is with this weird soccer tournament structure thing; it just seems so disjointed. How can you have a tournament that is completely and totally unrelated to that actual league you’re playing in and that, presumably, you’re trying to win right in the middle of your season?

Apply this to other sports and the absurdity becomes clear.

Let’s take basketball as an example. The Miami Heat play in the NBA and they play an 82-game regular season, at the end of that regular season 16 teams qualify for a post-season tournament, the winner of that tournament is crowned “World” Champion. Got that? Of course you do.

Now, what if, in the middle of the season, the Miami Heat enters into a “tournament” where it plays teams from the NBA, NBA D-League, NCAA Division I, and NCAA Division II. But it does so within the confines of their NBA season, in other words on Monday the Miami Heat travel to Orlando to play the Magic, then travel to Atlanta to play the Hawks on Tuesday, and then fly back home to face the Tulsa 66ers on Wednesday, and then fly to Austin to play the Texas Longhorns on Friday and the Abilene Christian Wildcats on Saturday, and then finish up their trip (and tournament) with a game in Dallas against the Mavericks (who is also in the “tournament”). The Heat wins all of its games and is crowned the champion of this tournament, but then still has the remainder of its NBA season to play, including the NBA playoffs, should they qualify.

Now, honestly, can anyone argue that that isn’t idiotic? Are the Heat supposed to be excited to win that tournament? Should they celebrate beating demonstrably inferior teams from the minor leagues and college? Even if though they hypothetically beat the Mavericks to win this tournament, does that make it any better? They’re still playing teams who are several rungs below them talentwise to reach that “title” game. I mean if things go amazingly well in Miami they would have a chance to face a team like Dallas in the NBA playoffs and be playing for something that really matters, not some second-rate “tournament” that’s only purpose seems to be “hey, we won something!” (Defenders of the U.S. Open Cup, please cool your jets. I acknowledge that the ‘Cup has been around for almost a century. That’s great, but it seems like something that teams should play for before the MLS season starts, sort of a preseason tournament, but not when teams are actually playing for something meaningful, like, for instance, the championship of the actual league the team plays in…)

I can’t say I care about this much, but I felt compelled to write something because I was confused about what exactly this thing was, and after looking into it (a little) I was confused, and I still am to some degree. I just don’t know why this matters or why anyone cares about it.

Nevertheless, while I’m sitting here deriding the MLS and U.S. soccer, I am big enough to recognize that mentality of the soccer fan is likely healthier than my outlook on sports–at least as a spectator. As I’ve said before, I like to win, but I like to play and compete more than I like winning. I just like the act of playing–because it’s fun and it’s good exercise without thinking about exercising (go to hell, elliptical machine, go straight to hell). It’s one of the reasons I prefer playing basketball to jogging. I’m burning a ton of calories playing hoop because I’m running after the ball, instead of running after… (my front door?) when jogging. But when I watch games it’s different. I like my team to win and it seems to matter more. Why? I don’t know. It probably has something to do with me playing games just for exercise to stave off skinny-fatness and the games that I watch actually have real meaning to those who are playing and since I root for that team I feel invested as well. I’m sure that’s it. Either that or I’m just pathetic. The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Perhaps that’s it.

So, to summarize, soccer is cool, but the U.S. Open Cup is not, or if it’s not not cool, it’s at least pointless. My pathetic nature (patheticism?) aside you can’t convince me that the U.S. Open Cup isn’t some glorified participation trophy that they give to kids in little league sports just for showing up.

But I can’t kill the Sounders FC fans for cheering wildly for their team. Who am I to sap their joy? (oh, that’s right, I’m me and I do it all the time). Regardless, I’m sure it was fun to cheer for the team even if whatever they were playing for has as much meaning as an NFL Preseason game.