Blood In The Water For Giuliani?

Giuliani did not do very well in the Republican debate tonight. His nervous, waffling answers did not help perpetuate the image he’s projected since even before he began his run. For so long we have heard about Giuliani as the strong man, the tough guy, the cool head in a devastating crisis. But now his star seems to be fading a little.

Then that small voice at the back of the room screams out “But Reagan did lousy in his first debates!” Oh my god, what is this obsession with Reagan? I get that he helped bring an end to the Cold War while at the same time getting along with Gorbachev. I also get that he had a special kind of charisma that is impossible to duplicate (not to mention that the debate was held at the Reagan Library beneath the shadow of the old Air Force One). He took all those raw, original, Conservative ideals that Goldwater championed in the 60’s and tarted them up for a mass audience. In musical terms, Reagan was to Goldwater what Blink 182 was to Descendents (I could have gone more obscure but I didn’t want to show off). Reagan was watered-down conservatism for the masses. In that way, he helped reinvent the movement for the 80’s. I’m not knocking it, I’m just stating it. And if Conservatism was going to grow, it was going to HAVE to reach a broader audience. And Reagan did a damn good job helping that along, even if that meant abandoning some of the original principles.

One of my favorite Goldwater era principals was the whole stand of getting government out of our lives and our bedrooms. Reagan wasn’t too big on that. One example that springs to mind was the Meese Commission on Pornography. Oh to be a fly on the wall during their many excursions to strip clubs, peep shows and sex shops!

James Dobson: This woman is naked!

Henry Hudson: Yes, Jim, she sure is.

Bruce Ritter: Hey, lady! Haven’t you heard of Jesus!

Henry Hudson: SHHH! We’re here to observe, not interfere.

James Dobson: Will you look at all these disgusting magazines and videos they have for sale? Oral fornication, bosoms of abnormal size, anal excursions…

Bruce Ritter: Get a look at this guy!

Henry Hudson: Goodness, that man is hairy!

James Dobson: And do you notice something else?

Bruce Ritter: I really don’t want to look at this anymore.

James Dobson: Look at his pecker!

Bruce Ritter: Do I have to?

James Dobson: LOOK AT IT!!!

Bruce Ritter: Oh…My…GOD!!!

James Dobson: Now you see?

Henry Hudson: That man has no foreskin!

James Dobson: It’s a plot I tell you! A PLOT!!!

Henry Hudson: [To the cashier] We’ll take one of everything in the store…You do take Visa, don’t you? It’s a Department Of Justice account, it’s good.

James Dobson: And don’t forget this one!

Henry Hudson: “Bi Claudius.”

Bruce Ritter: Did you say “Bi Claudius?”

Henry Hudson: Yes, you heard of it?

Bruce Ritter: I watch it every Sunday on PBS. What’s it doing here?

James Dobson: A plot, I tell you! AN UNHOLY PLOT TO BRING DOWN AMERICA!!!

Anyway, the Meese Commission on Pornography did little to curb the porn industry and nothing to prevent pornography from falling into the hands of pimply teenagers frustrated with their awkwardness. I should know, I bought whole lot of pornography in the late 80’s…I was in high school. But it did at least make a show for the Moral Majority voters of the time. They were pleased and James Dobson got some new porn.

Hell, I forgot what I was even writing about. That’s right, I was going to shoe-horn Giuliani somewhere in there. Giuliani misrepresented Reagan during the debate. He was talking about the Iran hostage crisis and repeated the myth that the Iranians were scared of Reagan and THAT was why they let the hostages go. It’s a nice story, but it’s not complete. I’m not going to pretend that I know everything about it because I don’t. But Giuliani’s line of the Iranians being scared of Reagan is way too simplistic to be the entire story. To boil down months of CIA operations, back-room deals, diplomacy, etc. to “Reagan scared them” is foolish and belittles the work of so many others.

What Giuliani failed to bring up, and what none of the other candidates mentioned, was that Reagan knew how to pick his battles. Please be still while I actually compliment the man for a moment. He may have amassed a gigantic arsenal of nukes, aided rebels all over the world (including Afghanistan…that worked out great, didn’t it?), bombed Libya a bunch of times and made tactless jokes about bombing Russia, but he didn’t get us into protracted military struggles without end. Our direct, military actions during those years were all short and very sweet. He had his failures (Lebanon, for instance) and scandals (Iran-Contra) but he did not dwell on them or compound the damage by escalating things to the point that he couldn’t control the problems anymore…Oh, wait, “War On Drugs”…Never mind.

Anyway, what I saw on the screen tonight was (with one exception) dreadful. When I glanced at the Drudge Report poll tonight, I noticed that Giuliani was WAY behind Romney. But wait! What’s that glimmering light in the distance? It’s Ron Paul!!! The darkest of the dark horse candidates came in third place (according to the totally unscientific Drudge Report poll)!!! How could it be that such a paleo-Conservative candidate did so well? The Internet, fool! Ron Paul is a big hit with the underground conservative scene. He is embraced by most all of the major anti-NWO, pro-freedom and liberty radio hosts (Alex Jones and Jack Blood being MY personal faves) and their listeners. On top of that, he is not a snob about who interviews him:

Snicker all you like about Ron Paul, he reaches out to people. He’s actually succeeding at coming off as genuine. And after this debate he’ll have a lot more fans. I’m not saying he’s going to win, I’m just applauding the man because he deserves it. And don’t mistake me, I do not agree with him on many issues, but I will applaud any man who goes against the grain of their party and speaks his or her mind. Tonight, that man is Ron Paul. Not Giuliani, not Romney…Ron Paul.

update 5/4/07, 9:22 am PST:The poll that was up on the Drudge Report has mysteriously disappeared.