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Saudis’ Khashoggi Tale

Safar 23, 14402018-11-01

The Saudi version of what happened to Jamal Khashoggi in their consulate in Istanbul keeps changing as new evidence emerges. Let us get the true version, “During a ‘friendly discussion’, Khashoggi became really violent,” said the head Saudi butcher, Salah al-Tubayqi. “He is a big man and we were only 15 weaklings trying to calm him down. Suddenly he grabbed the bone-cutting saw with both hands. Despite our pleas, he pulled hard cutting his fingers. He then took the saw under his armpits. That is how he cut his arms,” al-Tubayqi explained.

“While we kept pleading with him, he grabbed the saw between his legs resulting in his legs being cut. All the while he was shouting, ‘Give me liberty or give me death’. He next grabbed the saw in his teeth and cut his neck. But then something magical happened. Now, as good Wahhabis and therefore the best Muslims in the world, we do not believe in magic but Khashoggi put his body parts together, got up from the table and walked straight out the back door! We were left speechless. In fact, we still can’t speak,” al-Tubayqi said. “That’s the whole truth. As good Wahhabis, we wouldn’t tell lies, would we?”