Monday, December 31, 2007

(on a side note...i can't seem to write all i want to write in one sitting so while i may have started out writing on one day, i may only finish it at the end of the day or a few days later or like now starting a new post because i think i wrote too much on the other)

Anyway...on going to service on sundays, we have decided to go for second service till we can get used to things before considering going to 1st service. Mainly because there's too much to be done in the morning to make it in time for 830am service. We have to wake up, feed baby, bathe baby, dress her up, then settle our own stuff, eat breakfast, pack going out bag etc.

It was the first time we're out so it was a lil challenging as we didn't know what to bring, somewhat and it was the first time packing baby's bag (not ours!). we can survive with just our hp and wallet..that's all we need to bring anyway. then we have to pack her milk...which was new to us...we have to pack the ice pack to keep the milk cold, then the hot water flask to heat up the milk and a cup to put the milk in to heat it up. so mafan rite? but i don't really know how to nurse her outside so we'll work with EBM & bottle feeding.we didn't manage to figure out the sling enough..and somewhat not too confident with it so we brought the pram which my sil gave us instead. still quite fine tho we didn't use it much. Eliza started to be rooting for milk on our way to church and i was like...so fast? so i tried to calm her down a bit, carried her in her fav position and she seemed better. because i was carrying her, she somewhat fell asleep....until we put her down in the pram at the beginning of the service, fussed till we gave her the pacifier. halfway through it seemed like she's really hungry for milk, so we fed her and by the time she's done she fell right to sleep...gosh she sleeps everytime we're out! (in a way it's a good thing...tho lotsa ppl don't really get to see her in action)

to a certain extent the pram was quite useless that day cos i was carrying her all around...it was so nice to see her snugly asleep tho it was tiring after a while as i was carrying her with 1 hand. she's heavy!

one thing i wonder is whether she doesn't quite like the sound of the organ. it stirred her awake and caused her to be a lil edgy..twice. interestingly when she was still in my womb i also get a lil irritated with the organ sound, esp when i'm near it (cos MM sits right in front of the organ). maybe cos it's too loud or some frequency that gives me a headache.

so far going to church is the only time we'll get to dress her up cos her daddy says there's germs around. he heard from his colleagues that they don't bring their babies out to crowded places till they're 3-4mths old. gotta quickly wear some of the clothes le...cos she's outgrowing some of them very quickly!!

Eliza busy sleeping and moving sideways in her sleep...after her late afternoon feed i changed her into her new dress that uncle ZH& auntie Marg gave her...while everyone had comments on whether she should wear pants (which i tried but she looked weird in it...so i now conclude all the pants, esp long pants are useless since she has diapers anyway..ahh..wasted buying pants..my sil says should use cute baby panties instead), then it's which socks to wear, then it's her necklace & anklet my mil gave her and we tried to put on her headband which made her look really cute but it keeps coming off.ahh...dressed and looking eh...plump

we tried taking a photo with her but she was so asleep

By the time my mil's relatives and friends came at about 5plus Eliza was fast asleep.she woke at 6pm to drink milk while i left her to my mil to bottle-feed her and show her off to family and friends. but after that Eliza was so sleepy she fell asleep again! so by the time our friends came they only saw her sleeping in heavenly peace, undisturbed by all the noise and laughter outside or all our talking in the room. gosh...she can sleep through a thunderstorm! she only woke at 9pm to feed and by then most people have already gone off.

daddy carries her to see everyoneoh...then it was time for her to be awake till late but it's ok...we were all busy here and there packing up stuff so it seems like she was entertained while being carried here and there. what a day!

we enjoyed the day..just as Eliza enjoyed it sleeping thru everything. we thank all our family and friends who came to say hi, see Eliza, shower her with gifts. we wished we had more time to talk to everyone (it seems like there's endless things to talk about and catch up..esp friends we haven't seen for a while). but nevertheless, thank you all who came, it was fun having you around, and it was great sharing our joy.

Eliza's end of the day...what's this new book? seems interestingyawns...what a day! mummy changed me into my night clothes and i think i'm ready to sleep somemore

Friday, December 28, 2007

Yesterday after dinner, Ww & I took a short trip out. For me it's like finally 'get out of the house' day!! So we left Eliza in the hands of my in-laws to take care. Ok it wasn't that drama anyway it was just a 2hr trip out to TM & CS (whoa..so much has changed!..i must be some mountain turtle at home). There were belated christmas presents i wanted to get but it was too rushed to shop properly.

There were 'errands' to run anyway, we needed to get the cake vouchers, get a new cleaner, check out baby stuff. So we ended up comparing prices at kiddy palace & ntuc for stuff like laundry cleaner, diapers, wet wipes. We wanted to get a musical crib mobile but then found that it averages $100 plus...(!!!!!!) we saw a $30+ one but we weren't sure of the quality...(how come it's so cheap?) in the end we decided not to get one. Ww said he could string our stuffed toys and hang it over the cot (hahah..really?).

our lil trip out made me realize how un-exercised i am...gosh...after 2 hours of walking / shopping i'm tired...even though i've shed about 10kg of my preg weight. (i didn't mind walking up the overhead bridge now that i'm lighter but i'm still tired!). and also after spending so much time with Eliza and around Eliza..i miss her already. gee..

while we were out....Eliza napped and woke for more milk. but but but...she pooed and it was so much it almost leaked out of her diapers (it happens cos sometimes of the way we carry her and yes cos it's really a lot). and while my mil was changing it for her she was crying so hard (according to my mil) that her face turned white...scared my mil. so they quickly changed her into new diapers and carried her, that was when she stopped crying. so when we came back she was as peaceful as a dove..playing at our living room sofa. sometimes i don't really know why she cries so hard...i think this time was maybe because she really didn't like her soiled diapers..which is unusual cos she doesn't bother..(i bother)

tmr's her 1st mth celebration...:) wearing new clothes and meet lots of aunties and uncles woh.

Thank you Lord for bringing us through these days of knowing and understanding Eliza, of protecting and loving her.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Eliza slept in the evening yesterday...which was odd. it's usually her 3-hr fussy hour (when she wants to be carried, then looks tired, and then also seem to want to drink milk). She slept till 10pm, drank milk and fell back to sleep again. I knew i'm gonna get it in the middle of the night..and sure we did. Ww & I settled to bed at 12mn...she woke at 12.20pm to drink milk and after seemingly looking tired out from milk, i tried to change her diapers but she started crying...ok ok more milk..but it didn't seem it. was it wind in her tummy? i rubbed the RiYi oil, burped her (which she did!), then she spit out milk. still wouldn't settle to bed. all the commotion woke daddy up (which wasn't so bad since he has been sleeping late these few days). anyway...we carried her around the house, went back out to the study room..and eventually at 3am i fed her and she finally fell asleep. *faint* that was our 3-hour ordeal.

while she woke at her usual early morning (545am & 730am) for milk...she and I were kinda so tired out we overslept our usual time till 930am. now i know...keep her awake in the evenings!!!!!

To Bottle-feed or direct-latch?I knew i'll eventually have to feed her with EBM when i return to work but we started on bottle-feed a lil too early (at 2 weeks). the recommended time is frm 4 weeks onwards, to reduce the possibility of nipple confusion. she sure isn't finding bottle feed difficult cos it's easier to suck but i was hoping that she'll be smart enough to adapt to both..the way the baby sucks frm the bottle & directly is different. plus it's really troublesome to bottle feed EBM, compared to direct-latch cos...No.1- i have to spend at least 1/2hour to express milk every 3 hoursNo.2-we have to heat up the milk frm the fridge and that takes at least 10mins (a hungry baby isn't gonna wait 10mins)it's frustrating sometimes because nowadays at her fussy hour she'll struggle with me and refuse to latch properly...plus crying really loudly. we're still keeping her bottle feeds to 1 or 2 everyday and i'm trying refrain from using the pacifier. honestly i dunno why i still want to direct-latch her, but i guess it's the ease of feeding her (at least at home) and the bonding we both have (ok i do fall asleep while she nurses anyway...or sometimes it's boring so i read). I guess i'm hoping she is versatile enough and is settled to direct-latching so eventually in 1months time can directly nurse her in the middle of the night while someone else can feed her in the day if i'm not around.

so much for breastfeeding...stuff i was too lazy to read up on before i gave birth and now i'm reading whatever i can get my hands on..geez

On keeping calm and freaking out...Interestingly, i'm calm when she 'freaks out' or more like fusses and cries suddenly loudly. and freaking out when i'm not around out. ok...the freaking out is a lil exaggerated. but i'll worry. In particular when she sleeps on her tummy in the day, i'll always check on her (in case she starts to kiss the mattress). i'll worry if a spot or rash comes out that i never read about. i'll worry if she's not sleeping enough, or sleeps too much, eats too much or eats not enough. i'll worry if i'm carrying her correctly.ok...sometimes it's just momentary worry. so the only thing that gives me peace is that everytime i worry or at a loss (esp when we have no answers to why she reacts like that), or worried that something will happen to her, i pray. Telling God that she is all His, acknowledging that she's safe in His arms, asking Him to protect her, fill her with His peace & love...that's actually the most assuring thing. There are so many things beyond my control...so much so that I can't help but really submit her to God, He's the best parent after all.

Ww & I continually rave over her...on how cute she is, on how amazing she has become part of us. I read on someone's blog who put this poem that reflects really what we have and are continuing to experience...

I wanted to be richBut I wanted you more.So every time I paid the doctor's billI lightly stroked the tiny bulgeThat was my priceless treasure, You.

I wanted to live a life of passionBut I wanted you more.And since you came to meI've felt a love I've never known,Flowing out of meTo you.

I wanted to see the worldBut I wanted you more.So I set aside my travellingAnd discovered a worldRight outside my door,Through your eyes.

I wanted to be carefreeBut I wanted you more.And now I spend my daysLooking at clouds and chasing butterfliesAnd losing myselfIn your laughter.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

mummy likes to put me on her lap to play cos she doesn't need to bend down like she has to do with the bouncy netand oh dear i dunno why i always look so fat in this position. i hav mummy's sharp chin and whole lots of fats at my neck...keeps my neck warm :)sometimes it's quite relaxing like this...and mummy watches tv while i look around the house this is my favourite carrying position...sometimes to stare into space or to be burped or just to rest my head on your shoulderIt's Christmas i know....but i'm home and everyday feels the same till i'm losing track of time. i'm bored...though not bored of Eliza. She makes my day so different. Some days are good and she's on schedule, some days are not so good when she seems to keep wanting to drink milk (cos it's tiring and i wonder how come she's so hungry), and late evenings are usually fun tho challenging to get her to bed...so by e time she sleeps i'm like tired out i have to sleep too.

4 more days to 'freedom' out of my confinement..but it's ok. think it's a good time to rest, esp. with all the demands of baby...and my body needs to rest too. i have not had sleep that's more than 3 1/2 hours in one stretch since 25 days ago. i usually have one nap in the day. otherwise other times are to eat, bathe, do stuff like surf the net and blog, watch tv with Ww. (we couldn't finish watching Amazing race last night cos she was crying and wanted to be carried/fed)

plus Ww was saying i had better rest cos one early morning i suddenly had a bloody experience in the toilet (there was a sudden bout of lochia..it was a lot a lot) which scared the wits out of me, we almost went to the hospital but because the next day the lochia was much lesser and i wasn't having fever or whatever, we didn't in the end. but i spent that day resting & sleeping in bed most of the day. it's hard for me to stay in bed all day, i'll at least have to sit up, do something, help out in the house...and taking care of baby does have its share of aches and bending down.

Confinement rules...- lots and lots of ginger in the food...i've gotten used to that le..plus my mil cooks delicious food so i enjoy my meals most of the time.- no plain water...only longan red dates drink..i drink milo and milk too. (cos they say water will cause water retention..dunno how true but it's survivable so i'm fine)- no bathing...except with the dafengcao...and shampoo/soap. and wipe down on days i don't bathe with that. it's tolerable...considering i don't go out of the house but i would prefer my good ol' warm shower anyday. hair feels itchy still. oh but i wash my face everyday!- wear shoes in the house...cos the floor is cold. i can hardly remember to wear those home slippers...i'll always leave it all around the house wherever i stop. sometimes it's at the bathroom, or the living room, or under the table. i've given up wearing it already.- minimal washing with cold water...this i couldn't be bothered. i wash my hands after every diaper change (you dunno what poop gets left over on yr fingers), i feel i need to help wash the dishes and milk bottles

Of flabs and fatsin my 1st week after delivery i weighted myself at my gynae's clinic (cos they have the electronic weighing machine..more accurate than my home one) and i was 58kg! aha...lost 8 kg frm then. i think i've lost about 2kg so far...so i have another 5kg to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight!but i still look like 4-5months pregnant tho. my tummy is like a blobby flab still (imagine jelly! very blobby)...and i wonder how long will it take for it to become firmmer. i was using a firming lotion and tummy binder but since my lochia wasn't getting lesser i stopped using it for a while. i haven't tried my jeans yet...but i doubt i can still wear them :(

anyway i'm looking forward to this saturday, which is Eliza's first month celebration...i'm wondering what to dress her up in. plus we'll be bringing her to church for the 1st time on sunday and it's gonna be a challenge cos i really don't know what to expect. bringing milk out is quite a hassle with so many things to lug unless i know how to nurse her outside home..and whether she'll make a fuss or whatever. lets see if we can wake early enough to make it for the 1st service...(we gotta feed, bathe and change her by latest 815am to do so) oh..i have to learn how to use the sling too.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Of babies and poop...babies poo and pee lotsa of times a day. a poo moment is a certainty of a diaper change. and for a while Eliza poos everytime she has her milk. now it's almost every alternate milk time. but it can be a lot! it's fine when it's in the diapers...but she doesn't always tell you when she's gonna poo. so it can happen (and has happened)...when i'm halfway changing diapers, or bringing her to bathe. and it's amazing the strength of poo. once while i was changing her diapers and trying to clean a hard to reach part, suddenly a gush of poo flew out, messing up my shirt, the diaper change table and floor. a mess! after all babies can't tell u when they're gonna poo. at most she'll give me that 'zen' look after all the pooing, as if she's really satisfied of her work.

Of babies and sleep...new born babies sleep about 15hrs a day + - few hours. and thank God Eliza's schedule is getting a lil more regular. day time after her bath and nap is a good feed/play/nap time. and we put her on her tummy to sleep in the day and oh does she sleep so soundly. even through the vacuum cleaner sounds. we put her on her tummy to sleep only in the day so we can periodically check on her. this morning i left her sleeping facing left, when i checked again, i found her facing her right, and when i checked again later, i found her facing her left again...talk about active sleep!this is how she looks like when we put her down (and she's somewhat ready to sleep)..looking quite contemplativeafter 10mins or so....comfortably zz-ing away...it's the late evenings that are somewhat difficult because she'd feed and play, then seemingly want to sleep but when we put her down she'll fuss and want to be carried...and it'll drag for 3 hours till her next feed when i'll have to feed her and hope she'll fall asleep. we discovered, with my mil's cue, on patting her to sleep...calms her down a bit so she won't be so agitated.

Of babies and carrying...They LOVE to be carried. sometimes when i carry her in my arms, she'll seemingly look really dozy and close her eyes, almost drifting into dreamland. but the moment i put her down to bed she'll wake and make a fuss to want to be carried again. my mil started carrying her at her shoulder and we discovered that Eliza loves that position...sometimes finding a nice spot to rest her head on the shoulder and gaze into space...once she even fell asleep! aww...how sweet!as much as we don't want her to be overreliant on being carried, sometimes you just can't resist carrying her because she's so contented being carried!

Monday, December 17, 2007

These 18 days have been all about feeding baby, changing diapers, bathing baby, cooing to baby, sending baby to sleep etc. everyday the routine starts all over again..yawnz.

so this is the usual schedule of Eliza & me:8am - Eliza wakes, drinks milk, bathe. She continues to wake... :S9 - 11 am - Eliza sleeps or takes another feeding12nn - I have lunch1230-1pm - Eliza drinks milk, change diapers, i try to keep her awake. I express milk. I take a nap3-4pm - Eliza wakes, drinks milk, change diapers, I still try to keep her awake a while.5-6pm - I wipe down with warm boiled water or bathe with dafengcao.630pm - I eat dinner7pm - Eliza wakes drinks milk, change diapers. plays with everyone (and usually refuses to sleep till 1-2hrs later). drinks milk again.8-9pm - Eliza finally sleeps.12-1am - Eliza wakes, drink milk, change diapers. I send her straight to sleep. I fall asleep too.3+am - Eliza makes some noise, i wake, feed her, change diapers, send her straight to sleep. I go back to sleep5-6am - Eliza makes some noise, i wake, feed her, change diapers, send her straight to sleep. I go back to sleep

and the cycle happens all over again...just that the timings deviate here and there, and as much as we hope for the 3hr intervals, sometimes she wakes in 1 1/2hrs or 2hrs to drink more milk. sometimes she stays awake for a long time and refuses to be put to sleep or wants even more milk! gosh. i'm already feeling she's getting heavier :O

Eliza's day...Mummy has started to let me sleep on my tummy in the daytime, and i find it very nice to sleep like that...mmm...sometimes i have dreams of lots of milk to drink..and that makes me happy..sometimes i purse my lips and stare intently...daddy says i look kinda intelligent like thatthis is my sleeping place...and daddy & mummy loves to watch me sleep from where they are. beside my bed is my diaper changing place..where i love to look out of the window...when is mummy gonna get me a dangling toy to gaze at??Mummy came to check on me one afternoon during my nap and caught me trying to be Zorro...(actually i kicked so much in my sleep that my swaddle cloth went all the way up..oops!)

it's another 10 more days to end of confinement! and i really won't get to celebrate much of christmas out of home this time. maybe tell Eliza wat's christmas about and tell her stories. i'm looking forward to end of confinement but also worried on how to manage baby when i'm out of home, and bringing her out as well. actually it's good to have this 1 month to get used to things, to trial and error stuff also, before we're ready to 'face the world'. so this week i'm gonna cut down all bottle feeding and direct latch her so as to stabilize her feeding timings, and make sure she has a full meal all the time cos her timings are still kinda erratic, sometimes wanting milk every hour, or 1 1/2 hr which tires me out.

thank God for a very supportive hubby tho he's so busy, also for my mil who has been cooking such delicious meals everyday. it's not something one can do alone.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

mummy's been trying to let me have some tummy time because the doc and ppl are saying that i'll feel more comfortable like that...usually we'll have tummy time in the living room and everyone likes to watch me make all kinds of expressionsbut so far i've not been wanting to keep my head sideways and so have been fidgeting to keep my head upright...like in push up position, just that i can't lift my head up a lot, though once i even turned over on my back..ahh...oh this is my "bracket face" which has mummy and daddy rolling with laughter. geez...now they managed to catch it on camera..so paishe. i hope they throw away that embarrassing tzutzu

Itty Bitty Baby GirlItty Bitty Baby Girl Daddy's pride mama's pearlTiny treasure so petiteBut great is the joy that you bringTo your daddy and meOur love for you Will only grow stronger each dayFor yes it's trueYou've stolen our hearts awayAnd my little girlYou're just the right size todayTo hold in my armsTo look in your eyes and say

this is one of the songs from the new cd which i was trying to learn the lyrics cos when i play the cd and try to sing to her i realize i dunno what's the words and can only hum the tune. and it's so awwwww.....that when i was excitedly reading out the lyrics to Ww i couldn't help but cry (not bawl but eyes filled with tears kind)

talk about crying it's really the hormones or just having a baby makes you more emotional or what. it's the occasional frustration and the i-so-love-her-so-so-so-much kinda of emotions that makes me cry. i don't think i have the baby blues that much cos i hav my mil to help and Ww's around tho he's still quite busy. (it's really super important to have ppl around to help, from cooking to occasionally taking care of baby, to washing up stuff etc).

it's peaceful for now (saturday night)....she has finally fallen asleep after her long wake time (3 hours again!)..which means she feeds early on and right before she goes to sleep in this 3 hours. despite the occasional frustrations, we look at her photos again and again, we pop over her baby cot and watch her again and again, and fall in love with her over and over again.

my mil says she's different from other babies, i really dunno cos it's the first time i have a baby or have taken care of a baby. Ww thinks she's different too...he says it's also coz she doesn't have jaundice (ok she has but it's so slight we didn't need to worry so much). and he was saying that she's supposed to have a higher chance of having jaundice (cos i'm Heb B carrier and her chances of getting it is higher..so when she was born she was given this hebB immunization which cost us $300+). Ww thinks it's that immunization that helped too...save on sending her back to the hospital for photo therapy. i think it's by God's grace that she's like who she is...sometimes quite entertaining too.

it's a nice saturday afternoon...Eliza kinda woke up for a lil milk-time (after guzzling lots of milk in the morning and refusing to sleep) and drank lesser than i thought she would drink. poured 100ml (thinking she'll need to drink so much again) and she ended up drinking 50ml instead. wasted the other 50ml :( and i can't leave the milk out for more than an hour once she has drunk it.

i'm still trying to figure out how much she really drinks. it's kinda different when you bottle-feed and breastfeed. in the latter, you don't know exactly how much she drinks (in milliliters) but when she's done and full, she is full. when i bottle feed her, sometimes she has enough, sometimes she wants more and i usually give 80-90ml. so i really dunno how much she needs. at times when she's had enough milk, she'll close her lips and refuse to let u stick the bottle teat in. (oh but that's so cute too...how she would refuse to open her mouth) gosh....sometimes it's frustrationg cos i'll give her the usual amount and in half hour or an hour after waketime she'd want more...and more. :S

so this is my daytime challenge, to keep her awake after milktime, and then to get her to nap after waketime. problem is that her waketime can be so long that she doesn't want to sleep till 3-4 hours later. and she'll be so tired she sleeps lots and lots after that...i just try to make sure she doesn't oversleep in the day and end up being wide awake at night.

it's all a learning process. and as parents we learn everyday how to guide her and at the same time trying to understand her. no child will be the same, there's no guidebook on knowing this lil gal, but discovering her is the fun of it all...watching her nuances, figuring out her style, her sleeping patterns, her sweet and funny expressions, praying everyday that God will use this life He has brought through us to glorify Him.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Eliza's day...Mummy roused me to wake up to drink milk coz it's time but i'm so sleepy...so i just took some time to stretch while shutter-happy mummy takes my photo...which is my classic Saturday night fever pose. i'm just waking up...giving my frowny face in the midst of my stretching. don't worry it's just a moment's expression..i'm just exercising my facial muscles and lucky mummy caught it in her camera. i'm a good girl..i didn't cry.mummy, daddy, ah-ma & ah-gong love to see me laughing (tho i don't make the laughing sound)...and they get excited all the time! mummy plays with me in the morning with this linglinglonglong toy my daddy's colleague gave me.but i'm more interested in the bright lights at the window and the nice red white curtains...

My Thomson Medical Centre (TMC) experience:ppl have been telling me why not choose KK hospital cos it'll be cheaper, they got better facilities etc etc. i say cos my gynae's clinic is at TMC, convenient lor. anyway i was telling Ww that it's my first time staying in a hospital. it wasn't so bad even though Ww couldn't stay over to pei me the 2 nights i was there. he would if we have chosen the single-bedder. but uh..save money lah..anyway it's only 2 nights. so we chose the 4-bedder, and requested for an upgrade to a 2-bedder. no roommate on the 1st night...so it felt like a single bedder. and when my cell came to visit the next day morning, they could freely make noise and move about. (Eliza was too sleepy to wake from her slumber while they were there).

food there was great...6 meals a day! hoho...bfast, morning tea (fish & papaya soup), lunch (chinese confinement food), afternoon tea (some cupcake & milo), dinner, supper. no such thing as bland hospital food. good & bu3 soups too.the nurses were all very nice & helpful and there was even a class on how to bathe & change diaper for baby but i keep missing it cos day 1 i was confined to the bed, day 2 i was discharged le.

waiting for Eliza to wake for her next feed...after dinner she happily played with ah-ma & daddy...drank her milk again, and we left her to quietly fall asleep to the lullaby songs.Ww bought this new lullaby cd for Eliza to listen and me to sing to her. (we thought it's good for a change since we have been listening to the other lullaby cd almost EVERY night while Eliza was in my womb)by 10pm she has guai guai slipped off to slumberland.

Today is one of the super sunny days out of the many past few days of rain. my mil was quite happy about it cos the clothes could sun well.

Last night wasn't too good and i was expecting it as Eliza was super sleepy the whole afternoon till late evening yesterday..so much so that we always have to wake her up every 3hrs+ for her milk. her sleepiness i guess was because she was up ALL morning after bath and i think that tired her out. as such she was quite awake in the wee hours in the morning. *shake head* so after her early morning feed (that's abt 2am) she was wide awake till 345am++. i was drifting in and out of lala-land cos i really can't sleep until she does. not that she's crying but she was making all kinds of sounds which sounds like she's talking to herself...and occasionally an i-want-attention cry that i have to attend to. daddy initially gave her the pacifier but i took it out...left her alone..then she started making noise...and i eventually gave her the pacifier and fell asleep. when i woke at 5am to check, her pacifier was out of her mouth and she was sound asleep..dunno when she slept tho. she woke again at 6am to drink milk and ta-da...another non-sleeping session...so i left her with the pacifier again and popped to sleep...by the time i woke up she was bathed and nice. i truely zonked out.

i wonder if it's the chicken essence with the liquor that i drank in the evening...got me kinda woozy and headachey..and thus so sleepy this morning. no more of those next time....it was only 1 tbsp of some XO or watever...and the recipe called for 3 tbsp! i'll surely be knocked out if that's the case.

16 more days to end of confinement...wonder if i can get out to attend weddings still...tho i would still want to go for Christmas service & bring Eliza along.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Today's the day i WASH MY HAIR...buahaha....Ww says it stinks...i say i can't smell it cos it's too short...and i tie it up all the time. so it was a good move to cut it the not-short-not-long hair even tho i had like bad hair days then when my hair refuses to behave & i'm too lazy to blow dry it.but....i don't like the yao4 cai2 smell...:Syeah...i'm kinda adhering to the confinement 'rules' so i haven't bathed either...kinda. bathe as in be soaked in shower and soap...BUTBUTBUT i do wipe down with warm water and a towel everyday. otherwise it's terrible!!

MIA for 12 days le...and so much has happened. life revolves so much around Eliza and the breaks i have are those when she falls asleep (like now).

i have so much i would love to write...but i don't know where to start. would have started blogging earlier but there were so much stuff to do...stuff to read, ppl visiting etc.

Anyway we've been reading up on this Babywise...it's like our parenting super essential guide.

which is like so important...to establish a routine yet PDF (parent-directed feeding) pattern..so that eventually but 8-12weeks baby can sleep throughout the night, is well rested and well fed.so we've been following this guide and trying to guide Eliza into the 2 1/2hr - 3hr feeds. it's not easy sometimes because she can stay up awake for 2-3hrs, or wants to feed every hour. but she's almost on schedule nowadays, so i can predict when her next feed will be and plan things ahead of time.

by God's grace, from day 3 since she came home, she has been feeding and sleeping well through the night. day 1 & day 2 was tiring cos she'll be awake frm 3-5 or 6am not wanting to sleep, making a fuss when she's left alone and when she doesn't sleep i can't sleep either. ah-ha..so those were the days Ww woke up in the middle of the night cos she was crying loud enough to disturb him. but ever since day 3 he has been soundly sleeping all through the night! ok that's a good thing cos Eliza wakes to feed twice in the early mornings and quickly falls back to sleep. and amazingly i DO wake up when she starts making noise, not really loud cries but like a mini cry or two. i thought i would sleep like a log like i normally do. but i'm so sensitive to her squeaks or cries that i wake regardless.it's great like that cos i would have a good sleep in-between her night feeds and wake up nicely fresh even though i average a 5-6hour sleep. (and occasionally an afternoon nap) so we pray hard she continues this and slowly by 2-3 months she's able to sleep through the night.

Times when she doesn't sleep:Yeap..there are still times when she doesn't sleep...for at least 3-4hrs like this morning after her bath. which is still managable...cos we'll play with her, sing to her, talk to her. and i'll leave her on her cot to entertain herself...or hopefully fall asleep. sometimes she doesn't, so she'll fuss a bit and start rooting for milk...ok...so i feed her...if i don't want to feed her cos she just drank a lot a while ago...and it's just an itch to suckle..we'll resort to the pacifier.she'll happily suck it anyway...sometimes so happily that we find this NUK pacifier's design gives her what we call her 'bracket face'. ie ( mouth )...which is why we went to find another brand of pacifier. but still using the NUK one now...tink her cheeks not that fat now..or she doesn't suck so hard so it's not so bad. heh...

We're trying to transit her into bottle feeding so that when i'm not around someone can feed her EBM (expressed breast milk) and especially when i go back to work. everyone has had a go at it, my mil, of cos Ww and my sil (sister-in-law).the only problem with transiting her to bottle was that her suckle was so strong she drinks too fast from the bottle, causing her to 'merlion' her milk out cos she drank too much to fast. but she's smart and now she's getting the hang of it, stopping sometimes to take a breath like when she direct latch on (cos she needs to use more energy to suckle when direct latch). otherwise we'll remove the bottle so that she can take a breather.

the other challenge is to burp her...she hardly burps, and it's hard to get a burp out of her...and when we do, it's so satisfying...and..eh...she looks quite satisfied too.

this is daddy trying to burp her...and she'll be giving that half-asleep face or the 'this is so shuang' face and all kinds of expressions. :P

So bottle feeding allowed both of us to go for my gynae appointment on monday our own while Eliza sleeps soundly at home. Ww was still asking me if i want to go somewhere to walk around and reward myself a bit. heh...but i think i would be worrying more about Eliza...and feeling too unbathed (oops!) to enjoy a stroll at TM or something. after all i have nothing much to buy either. (also cos i'll send Ww to buy stuff when things run out...go buy diapers! go buy nappy! go check the vaccination at that clinic! go buy this..buy that...hehehe)so the follow-up gynae appointment was to check and remove the stitches...eeep! ee...shudder at the thought of it...wasn't too fun feeling the stitch come out. also went to apply for the Baby Bonus...$3k woh(given out in 4 parts every 3 months)...we thought we'll invest this money for Eliza so kinda like save it up for her and let it grow. hopefully our expenses are manageable enough such that we won't have to touch this money.

A baby's grip is quite strong and cos Eliza's hands are always in her mittens i hardly get to photograph her fingers...which are quite like mine...lots of lines.hi-5! she has mummy's characteristic palm, so liney...but she sure doesn't have a tiny pinky finger like me.many things she does with her hands...like waving around...put it at her head...like when she was still in my womb..:Praise her hands up high! to stretch..usuallyi dunno what she's up to...she kinda likes this position..

this is part of her stretching routine..with a pouty face :Pmore stretching.....! ooooooo!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Yup Eliza has finally arrived! It's great seeing her, beyond words...i'm still adjusting to her feeding schedule, waking up many times at night to feed her and change diapers. anyway this was what happened on that fateful 30th nov...

850am - set off to Thomson Medical Centre to my gynae's clinic. appointment was at 9am but we wanted to miss the ERP (which we thot ends at 9am)...ok only to realize that ERP is until 930am.

920am - arrived at clinic. strapped on the CTG to check baby's heartbeat & contractions. prostaglandin (a tablet inserted to soften the cervix and for contractions to start). Nurse checked..and cervix only 0.5cm. Asked to go walk walk and come to clinic at 2pm

130pm - went back to clinic...back really aching...feel a bit of contractions on and off but it's bearable.

230pm - checked baby's heartbeat and contractions again.

315pm - Gynae came in and checked cervix...3cm dilated. asked to go have tea,walk walk before going to the labour ward.

330pm - Hung around at Delifrance and drank hot chocolate until i can't take the ache anymore. (actually it's more of a lower back ache than the contractions that hurt at this time). could feel some contractions come and go.

445pm - Check-in into the labour ward, Ww went to do all the amin stuff while i got changed. Nurse inserted enema to clear all poo. had to wait 10mins but i think aft 5mins, i really cannot tahan anymore and rushed to toilet. feels so good after that.

515pm - moved to the labour room. Ww came back from all the admin stuff. talked a while, tried to watch some tv, watched the CTG scan and saw some contractions going up to 60+ but seems bearable.this is the CTG...87 is the intensity of the contractions...99 being the highest

530pm - Gynae, Dr Tan, came and broke waterbag, chirpily saying that i'm managing quite well...4cm dilated already. Aft that Ww quickly goes to take his dinner. Contractions start to become more intense and i could feel like baby's head coming down at my pevis.

6pm - Nurse was asking if i wanted epidural and also if i was having the pushing feeing (imagine the wanting-to-go-pass-motion feeling..now u know why have to clear bowels first), I'm starting to feel but it was still bearable.

So the nurse checked and i was 5-6cm dialated already. if i want epidural i'll have to take it now otherwise it'll be too late to take it. and counting an average of 1cm dilation per hr, it would be possible that it'll take another 4 hrs to achieve 10cm dilation. uh-huh...i don't think i can take 4hrs more of more intense contractions..and it's starting to get bad :S so i decided to go for the epidural.

Very quickly the contractions were getting more intense, and the gas that supposedly relieves the pain doesn't help. The nurse said to keep breathing in the gas and out, and it was making me really groggy. It was just me and the contractions. i was wincing and curling up as the contractions came and went. (and squeezing Ww's arm really hard as the contractions peaked).

I had to wait for the anesthetist to come...possibly half an hour. gosh the waiting drove me nuts! and every time a contraction came i couldn't help but push even though i tried really hard to hold back.

the anesthetist finally came and everything happened like a whiz (cos i was still really groggy from the gas). The prick from the drip (because epidurals cause blood pressure to lower and the intravenous intervention of ephedrine compensates that) and the epidural was nothing compared to the contractions that i think i don't remember feeling it at all. Phew...i was super relived after that.

7pm - manage to be normal again. i see the CTG showing the contractions come and go..but i don't feel anything! yays! only thing was that i was shivering, one of the side effects of the epidural. we were told that the epidural will slow down labour and if i had chose not to take it, i could possibly speed up the labour time. not that i really will bother. as time passes i could feel a growing ache as the contractions intensify.

8pm - checked dilation again, seems to be ready to push soon. nurse calls Dr. Tan, tells us that he should come in 30mins. practiced pushing and Ww said he could a bit of the baby's head. the contractions continue to intensify but still can take it.

830pm - gynae not here yet :( contractions intensify, and i really feel like pushing and it's getting more and more painful. Ww remembers his colleague telling him the breathe in, blow out x3 to tide through the contractions and not push. (now then he remembers!!) trust me...even tho i think we learnt it at antenatal class, at that point of time you would not remember all these things in the midst of the pain & struggle.

840pm - i was watching the clock and praying hard my gyane will reach here sooooon..... requested to increase the epidural dosage...but i think they didn't, cos the pain was still there..argh.

845pm - nurses decide to guide me to start pushing first...and tada...finally my gynae comes. and all i remember was that i had to hold my breath and push really hard and long. by then, i didn't remember the pain...coz i think pushing is part and parcel of how contractions work. this is the hard work part, mustering all my energy and breath. and i could hear everyone encouraging me to keep it up etc etc.

i could kinda feel baby's head coming out. and according to Ww he saw my gynae stretching the cervix till he could see my pelvis bone (wah..i really can't imagine).

9.02pm - Baby Eliza takes her 1st breath of air and gives her first cry; and she was popped immediately onto my arms. Amazing! I was so relieved the labour was over and so elated to see her in person (after months of seeing photos of her in black & white thru the ultrasound scan). Dr.Tan gets phototaking Ww to cut the umbilical cord which Ww does with his shaking hands.

9.05 pm onwards - Ww follows the nurse as baby Eliza is cleaned up a bit, weighed and measured;

while i "deliver" the placenta, could feel Dr.Tan "pulling" out the placenta. doesn't feel much anyway. and because there was an episiotomy or tear so there was some stitching to be done.

Ww's back with baby Eliza all wrapped up and nice.If you can see, baby Eliza's quite alert. (newborns are anyway) so she was looking around and having that curious look of her face...and her most expressive lips (which definately is like her daddy...Ww's parents say she's gonna be a talktative gal next time..we'll see we'll see).

10pm - In the ward, waiting for baby to be checked and bathed. Spent 45mins sending out sms-es telling ppl abt Eliza's arrival. by 11plus baby couldn't be brought to us yet because she was still too cold to be bathed. Ww & his parents went back first. by the time i saw my cute clean and bathed baby it was 110am. Oh but how sweet she is!

Next day, proud daddy carries Eliza.and talks to her...

Long story...phews. and it has taken me 4 days to finish writing this.

God is merciful and amazing...because He has blessed us with Eliza, and the going through the whole labour made me be at awe at how He made our women bodies change and adapt to give birth to a baby. No evolution can think of that, not by chance, but by God's wisdom and His creativity.

More on life after giving birth....when i have time to slowly update....Meanwhile...some photos of Eliza...almost smiling...on our way home from the hospital...sleeping so comfortablyat home...and that curious look