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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Clarence 'too many rights' Thomas

Last week, one of nine people who must interpret our Constitution admitted his befuddlement at how many rights we have. Clarence 'too many rights' Thomas remarked at a gathering (with children):

“Today there is much focus on our rights,” Justice Thomas said. “Indeed, I think there is a proliferation of rights.”

Good God. Really? As if that wasn't bad enough, apparently while day dreaming during oral arguments Thomas invented a Bill of Obligations and a Bill of Responsibilities:

“I am often surprised by the virtual nobility that seems to be accorded those with grievances,” he said. “Shouldn’t there at least be equal time for our Bill of Obligations and our Bill of Responsibilities?"

So Clarence Thomas thinks that two imaginary documents he invented deserve equal consideration to the Bill of Rights? And as if this wasn't all bad enough, apparently the sixty-year-old Thomas believes that dishwashers are magic!:

“I have to admit,” he said, “that I’m one of those people that still thinks the dishwasher is a miracle. What a device! And I have to admit that because I think that way, I like to load it. I like to look in and see how the dishes were magically cleaned.”

unfuckingbelievable. I propose at future confirmation hearings we inquire into whether the nominee understands the mechanics of hot water.

Though, we can all take solace in knowing that Clarence still hates us and his job - because we elected people who attacked him and he is still pissed two decades later:

“this endeavor,” he called it, “or, for some, an ordeal” — has not gotten easier. “That’s one thing about this job,” he said. “You get a little tired.

“Sometimes, when I get a little down,” Justice Thomas said wearily, he goes online. “I look up wonderful speeches, like speeches by Douglas MacArthur.

Here, Clarence is clearly talking in euphemism. I for one am looking forward to his next 'dear penthouse' letter, which is surly on the way.