Like you needed more proof that white supremacists are lame and talentless

Are you painfully white, and hate Jews, diversity, Mexicans, and black folk (though not necessarily in that order)? Do you find yourself googly-eyed whenever Adolf Hitler is on the History Channel, or end up salivating over documentaries concerning the 1995 Oklahoma City Massacre? Well, good news white nationalist nimrods, there are activities aplenty in the Valley of the Sun where you can conversate with your fellow inbreeds and tell all the racist jokes you want without fear of social rejection.

In an as yet undisclosed location somewhere in the Phoenix area on September 27, you can thrill to cross-eyed lads playing the violin, old white bald dudes strumming guitars, some really bad acting, and some creepy fogie in a monk's robe who calls himself Odin, or Onan, take your pick.

Just check out the advertisement above, featuring Canadian anti-Semite and neo-Nazi Paul Fromm, from a past Nationalist Coalition event. And keep in mind, there will be a pumpkin patch for the kiddies to possibly practice their curbing skills on. (Remember American History X?) OK, I kid about the curbing, but there will be pumpkins. (Hey, is that Jerry Harbin in that getup? I thought you'd croaked, bro! Whatup?)

Oh, and though this commercial makes the Nationalist Coalition seem incredibly lame, keep in mind that NC's an offshoot of the late William Pierce's Nationalist Alliance. And Pierce was no lightweight, having penned the infamously bloody and racist Turner Diaries, which inspired Timothy McVeigh to bomb the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in '95, murdering 168 people, including 19 children. Pierce's Turner Diaries also inspired a string of murders, bank robberies, and other criminal acts in the 1980s by the neo-Nazi group The Order.

The Nationalist Coalition reveres William Pierce like a demi-god, and the org pimps The Turner Diaries on its Web site. So if you dig the sort of racist violence and criminality novelized therein, it wouldn't be going too far to assume that you might meet some like-minded people at NC's Arizona Fall Concert.

(Ron Paul supporters are likely welcome as well, after all, during Paul's run for Prez, he took a $500 campaign contribution from white nationalist and founder of the neo-Nazi site Stormfront.org. Paul's campaign refused to give the money back, even after the Black contribution was exposed.)

Tickets are $18 in advance, $22 at the door, wherever that door might be. Should anyone out there find out, let me know, so I can share it with the world. Are there any Black Panthers still around these days? Maybe they'd like to attend.

The full info from a Nationalist Coalition e-mail sent out, no doubt, by local NC organizer Jesse Curnow, follows:

In the Phoenix area, on the afternoon of Sunday, September 27th, come join the Nationalist Coalition's Arizona chapter as we welcome the new season with our second annual Fall Concert!

This year's musicians include a piano composer, a country music artist, as well as local musician Mark Valley. At present we are working on lining up a couple more, so stay tuned.

A speech will be delivered by Jamie Kelso, and rumor has it that Odin himself will be in attendance as well.

A comedy skit, featuring Mark Valley, is also planned.

Need something for the kids to do? Bring them along: in our Pumpkin Patch kid's area there will be plenty to keep them busy!

Tickets for this fun-filled event are available for a donation of $18 in advance, and $22 at the door; tickets for couples are available for a donation of $32 in advance, and $40 at the door. Send checks or money orders to:

If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.