Guest post: Iowa Smith and the Mummies

Iowa Smith looked at the chasm. It was very deep. He wished he hadn’t dropped his torch into it because the ancient Egyptian royal tomb was very dark. At least the mummies had glowing eyes.

“Wait,” he said to himself. “Mummies are dead and not generally luminescent.”

He realized that these mummies were cursed. “An evil wizard must have cursed them so their eyes glow. That must make it very difficult for them to see in the dark tomb.”

He asked the mummies very politely if they would light the way to the exit so he could find a good wizard to undo the glowing eyes spell. They agreed, and Iowa Smith soon found a good wizard and made the mummies’ eyes stop glowing. Then he went home.

One day, there was a knock at the door. Iowa Smith opened the door and found a mummy.

“We can’t see the tomb now because it is too dark,” it said.

“Well then,” said Iowa Smith, “I will help you find a way to see your tomb.”

Iowa Smith booked a flight to Egypt and arrived at the ancient tomb. He scrutinized the structure and tried to think of ways to make it lighter.

“You could remove some of the stone blocks from the roof to let sunlight in,” He said.

The mummies looked aghast. “This is an ancient Egyptian historical building! You can’t just take it apart!”

“Gosh, are you really that upset?” asked Iowa Smith. “Perhaps you could put the spell back. But this time, maybe you could cast it on something besides their eyes. Their noses, for example. Then everyone would make Rudolph the red nosed reindeer jokes and make them feel bad. That would be very evil.”

“Hmmm, that is a good idea,” said the evil wizard. He cast his spell and made the mummies’ noses glow, then vanished in a puff of evil smoke.

The mummies could now see where they were going. They thanked Iowa Smith and paid for his airfare to go home. Everyone lived happily ever after. The end.