Drugs are vastly superior to alcohol

I know that this may come as a complete "duh" to you, but some people need the obvious explained to them.(
I also know that alcohol is a drug, but we're just using drug in the sense of something that you could get thrown in jail for.)

I'm not alcohol's biggest fan, but it has it's advantages. It's legal, that's for one. But compared to illegal stuff, alcohol has significant disadvantages.

#1: It tastes bad. Sure, not in all cases, but especially with cheap shit which is what my friends and I buy since we're college students. A lot of drugs, you don't even have to taste. Pharmies man, no taste. Acid, well, it's a little bitter but if you put it in water or your roommate's Dr. Pepper, you won't taste it at all. E is a pill. And if you're injecting, you don't have to taste anything at all, even though I wouldn't highly recommend those types of things. Snorting, as was pointed out by thecarp, can lead to nasty drainage taste, however.

#2: Alcohol has calories. I found this out recently when all I did was get hammered for an entire week in Canada. I gained hella weight, that was not cool. Drugs on the other hand, for the most part, cause you to lose weight. You don't feel like eating because dammit, the donuts are so fucking pretty. And a lot of times your metabolism is significantly higher. You could argue that marijuana causes the munchies, but when you get right down to it, pot is not a drug!

#3: Alcohol gives a wicked hangover. A hangover is hell. 13 shots of vodka will put me into misery for the entirety of the next day because I am a lightweight, as is my sweet, angelic roommate. When you take drugs, you might feel cracked out the next day which in my experience has basically been a quasi-pleasant tiredness. It's a weird feeling, but good, a feeling all on it's own. I've never heard anyone wax poetic about a hangover.

#4: Alcohol is fucking expensive. Drugs, when you buy them, are more expensive, but it takes much less of them to seriously fuck you up. (Excluding the outrageously overpriced drug known as Ecstasy, of course). A hit of acid costs five bucks and a hit will seriously fuck you up. A drink at a bar is around 3 bucks? So for the same price of two drinks which will not faze an experienced drinker, you can get a hit of acid (two if you're lucky and include tips on the drinks) which will seriously fuck you up. A night of serious drinking can rack up quite a tab, as I'm sure you are all aware.

#5: Alcohol is a very involved process. You have to drink all damn night, or at least you feel as if you must keep drinking. With many drugs, it's one bong hit or two, one pill and you're good to go.

#6: You have to be 21 to (legally) drink alcohol. Drugs are illegal all the time, which means you are never underage. Somehow, this IS an advantage. When you're underage, it is a lot easier to get drugs than alcohol. :)

#7: There are many drugs that can't be tested for in urine samples while with alcohol, a simple breathalyzer will assure any officer of the law that you, my friend, are quite intoxicated.

...and last, but certainly not least, let me just state for the record that variety is the spice of life. So many ways to get intoxicated illegally, so little time.