Fiona McCade: A hairy line between sexy and scruffy

A bearded George Clooney and actress Stacy Keibler arrive at the Oscars. Picture: Getty

FIONA McCADE

“I know what you’re thinking,” quipped Grant Heslov, “the three sexiest producers in Hollywood.” It was one of the best – and certainly most self-effacing – jokes of the 2013 Academy Awards because at that very moment, Mr Heslov was standing between Ben Affleck and George Clooney.

On a normal Oscar night, the three sexy producers would have been even easier to tell apart, but this year Mr Heslov had one very important thing in common with his handsome colleagues: all three were wearing full beards.

And it’s not just Grant, Ben and George, either. Everyone who was anyone was hirsute last Sunday night: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, Jean Dujardin. After a while, it seemed like the only man not sporting a faceful was Daniel Day-Lewis, and only then because he’d spent the past year or so buried beneath his Lincoln chinstrap.

Some of the beards were better than others, but I believe they all made their wearers look more attractive. Take Ben Affleck for example. I had never noticed this man before. OK, perhaps I’m unique in this – right now, women everywhere are going “Duh!” – but despite his illustrious career, he’d never made any impression on me whatsoever. Then he grows a beard and … hello, handsome!

I’m glad that western men are finally getting over their fear of looking like Open University lecturers. In fact, according to a recent survey, 62 per cent of British men think they look sexier with some sort of facial hair. I can understand this; it’s an on-yer-face way of saying “Look! Testosterone!” However, a bit of fuzz also helps define the cheekbones, brings out the eyes, covers all sorts of defects and always gives an aura of gravitas. And the likes of ol’ silky-whiskers Affleck make you want to nuzzle right up.

John Lewis is certainly tapping into the zeitgeist because, for the first time, it has employed a bearded model to advertise its men’s clothing range. Johnny Harrington is 6ft; with blue-grey eyes; lank, red hair that’s so straggly he piles it up into a bun; and a beard you could lose an eagle in.

As I hope I’ve made clear, no girl likes face-fur more than me, and I thoroughly approve of the latest fashion, but I’m not convinced that John Lewis knows what it is doing here.

A spokesman said that Harrington’s look was “deconstructed” and “dishevelled” and that he represented “an everyday hero”. An everyday hero just back from six months in the Arctic, perhaps; or an everyday hero recently released from a Middle Eastern hostage situation, but, sadly, not the sort of everyday hero I’d like to give me mouth-to-mouth.

I want bearded men back in the mainstream. I want to see more bearded models (well, male ones, anyway), but I don’t think bringing back Catweazle will help the cause.

The flowing-hair-and-long-beard combo is a difficult look to pull off and I can think of only two men who have ever managed it – Santa Claus and Karl Marx. But neither of them have tried to flog fashion. However, they both have something that Mr Harrington unfortunately lacks: whatever’s happening with the reindeer, or however persecuted the proletariat may be, both Santa and Karl always look washed. If Johnny Harrington’s vagrant-chic is supposed to inspire female fantasies about naughty lumberjacks, it fails. He just comes over as rough, not rugged. The clothes are nice enough, but since he looks like he’s been raised by wolves, you find yourself wondering why he’d ever need to wear them.

A lot of people are scared by beards because they think they signify a lazy attitude towards personal hygiene. In fact, a well-trimmed beard is the highest form of grooming to which a man can aspire. It’s a sure sign of masculine pride. It says: “I’m a man, and I care.” On the other hand, Johnny Harrington’s unruly explosion of follicles says: “I may be a Highland cow, I’m really not sure.”

But there’s hope even for Harrington. A few judicious snips here and there and he could become the new James Robertson-Justice.

In the meantime, if any of you gents are asking the question: “To beard, or not to beard?” My advice is go for it – but please, make it sexy, not scruffy.

This website and its associated newspaper adheres to the Independent Press Standards Organisation's Editors' Code of Practice.
If you have a complaint about editorial content which relates to inaccuracy or intrusion, then contact the
Editor by clicking here.

If you remain dissatisfied with the response provided then you can contact the IPSO by
clicking here.

The Scotsman provides news, events and sport features from the Edinburgh area. For the best up to date information relating to Edinburgh and the surrounding areas visit us at The Scotsman regularly or bookmark this page.

For you to enjoy all the features of this website The Scotsman requires permission to use cookies.

Find Out More ▼

What is a Cookie?

What is a Flash Cookie?

Can I opt out of receiving Cookies?

About our Cookies

Cookies are small data files which are sent to your browser (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome etc) from a website you visit. They are stored on your electronic device.

This is a type of cookie which is collected by Adobe Flash media player (it is also called a Local Shared Object) - a piece of software you may already have on your electronic device to help you watch online videos and listen to podcasts.

Yes there are a number of options available, you can set your browser either to reject all cookies, to allow only "trusted" sites to set them, or to only accept them from the site you are currently on.

However, please note - if you block/delete all cookies, some features of our websites, such as remembering your login details, or the site branding for your local newspaper may not function as a result.

The types of cookies we, our ad network and technology partners use are listed below:

Revenue Science ►

A tool used by some of our advertisers to target adverts to you based on pages you have visited in the past. To opt out of this type of targeting you can visit the 'Your Online Choices' website by clicking here.

Google Ads ►

Our sites contain advertising from Google; these use cookies to ensure you get adverts relevant to you. You can tailor the type of ads you receive by visiting here or to opt out of this type of targeting you can visit the 'Your Online Choices' website by clicking here.

Digital Analytics ►

This is used to help us identify unique visitors to our websites. This data is anonymous and we cannot use this to uniquely identify individuals and their usage of the sites.

Dart for Publishers ►

This comes from our ad serving technology and is used to track how many times you have seen a particular ad on our sites, so that you don't just see one advert but an even spread. This information is not used by us for any other type of audience recording or monitoring.

ComScore ►

ComScore monitor and externally verify our site traffic data for use within the advertising industry. Any data collected is anonymous statistical data and cannot be traced back to an individual.

Local Targeting ►

Our Classified websites (Photos, Motors, Jobs and Property Today) use cookies to ensure you get the correct local newspaper branding and content when you visit them. These cookies store no personally identifiable information.

Grapeshot ►

We use Grapeshot as a contextual targeting technology, allowing us to create custom groups of stories outside out of our usual site navigation. Grapeshot stores the categories of story you have been exposed to. Their privacy policy and opt out option can be accessed here.

Subscriptions Online ►

Our partner for Newspaper subscriptions online stores data from the forms you complete in these to increase the usability of the site and enhance user experience.

Add This ►

Add This provides the social networking widget found in many of our pages. This widget gives you the tools to bookmark our websites, blog, share, tweet and email our content to a friend.