78,000 apply to live and die on Mars, because they hate Earth, clearly

SOME people hate Earth so much that they’ve applied to live on Mars, even though Mars looks like an arid death hole. More than 78,000 people from 120 different countries have applied to leave Earth, which frankly makes them traitors and we should round them up and boo them into oblivion.

The openings come from a new reality TV series from Dutch non-profit organisation Mars One.

Their plan is to document a decade-long ambition to begin a new human settlement on the Red Planet, which is a little more ambitious than Simon Cowell’s attempts to find a prancing dog who will perform for the Royal Family at a variety show.

There’ll be a two-year selection process, and those who are successful will be expected to train for a further seven years for the project. Then, they’ll be sent into the darkest reaches of space to die. We’ll probably get to watch it all on a 24/7 internet feed.

Mars One’s official website states that there have been 17,324 applicants from America, 10,241 from China and 3,581 from the United Kingdom.

Co-founder Bas Lansdorp said:

“With 78,000 applications in two weeks, this is turning out to be the most desired job in history. These numbers put us right on track for our goal of half a million applicants. Mars One is a mission representing all humanity, and its true spirit will be justified only if people from the entire world are represented.”

If you’re mental enough to be interested, the deadline for online applications is August 31st.