Geez, I've written a lot of crap over the years.
This page contains the archive for 2009 (2010-present can be found on the
home page). If you'd like to look back earlier than 2009, check out
the cute little buttons I've provided.

2009

So Nancy Pelosi was asked, “When we capture Bin Laden, should
he be told he has the right to remain silent and given a lawyer?” Pelosi
replied: “Well, let’s see, how many years has it been? Nine, eight years?
Let’s worry about capturing Bin Laden and not worry about your question.”

Let's not worry about your question? Okay, boys and
girls, close your eyes and go into your space. Take a deep breath.
Now imagine the media orgy if that doltish, dismissive answer had been given by
Sarah Palin.

Namaste.

Today it was announced that California has requested $4.7
billion in federal funds to build a high-speed rail system. The State
claims this will create 130,000 jobs. Listen carefully: There's a huge
difference between "job creation" and "wealth creation." Since high-speed
rail (like every passenger train in the world) is totally inefficient, it will
forever be a drain on the taxpayers, thus this so-called job creation will end
up destroying wealth. At best, fares will make up about 25% of the
operating costs which means the rest will be paid, in perpetuity, by the already
over-burdened taxpayers.

To summarize: A state that is bankrupt has requested a
massive amount of money from a country that is bankrupt so it can build a
useless project that will waste more massive amounts of money. Class
dismissed.

So according to AP, imprisoned director Roman Polanski is in a
“fighting mood” and will battle U.S. attempts to have him extradited from
Switzerland. Fighting mood, huh? Just give the pervert some
champagne and Quaaludes and take him by force.

And speaking of show business idiots, tonight Bill Maher was
sharing his infinite wisdom with us ignorant peons about government health care.
He said, "Why are we the only country in the world that profits from people
being sick? That's what this is really about - people are sick and that's
one-sixth of our economy."

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that doctors and
medical researchers should be forced to work for nothing but we should continue
to give millions of dollars to third-rate comedians for it is they who are the
noble and valuable.

The U.S. Department of Justice is now looking at the
exclusive agreements many phone manufacturers have with cellular companies - the
most notable being Apple and AT&T. Apparently the government believes
these agreements could be a violation of antitrust laws, and don't get me
started on those. I don't want to give these meddling bureaucrats any
ideas but have you ever been in a movie theater that sold both Coke and
Pepsi? I didn't think so. That's because they have contracts that
offer huge discounts if the theater only sells one product and excludes the
other. And if you believe that exclusive contracts are indeed wrong, then
I'll assume I can sleep with your wife.

So why are the right-wing freaks making such a big deal about
Barbara Boxer asking a General to call her "Senator"? The
statements castigating her range from calling her remarks condescending and
disrespectful to one pundit saying she "flew off the handle."
None of that is true. Her request was polite and reasonable and certainly
within her rights. Don't we have more pressing issues?

Is there any limit to the arrogant power grab in Washington,
D.C.? The federal government just announced pollution and fuel standards for
new cars. I guess that means they'll have to follow their own orders since
they've also taken control of General Motors and Chrysler. And they're also
running brokerage houses, banks and insurance companies not to mention a
national railroad, a huge retirement plan and a health system for the
elderly. The latter being so inefficient and fraud-ridden, they now want
to expand the program to all Americans, whether we want it or not. The
government has over $100 trillion in unfunded liabilities and is several
trillion in debt to other countries with no prospect for paying for any of these
things.

It's time to admit that the federal government is nothing more
than a crazy old cat lady, taking in more and more stray cats she can no longer
care for. The cats are mangy, sick and underfed and are now overrunning
the house. There's cat poop everywhere and the stench is
unbelievable. And the old lady is now lying on the couch, starving to
death while muttering to herself about how wonderful she is for
"saving" all these cats. Not long from now, she will pass out in
a stupor and her beloved cats will start feasting on what's left of her
emaciated body until there is nothing left but her bones.

Don't bother phoning the authorities - there will be no one left
to answer the
call.

So now the Parsdent wants to build high-speed rail systems
around the country. As a matter of fact, he says we can't wait.
Seems the best way to get out from under $115 trillion in debt is to spend even
more trillions on something nobody needs nor wants. Let me make some
predictions: Whatever the government says the cost will be, you can
reliably double it. They'll tell you how efficient passenger trains are
all the while raising income taxes, property taxes, gasoline taxes and sales
taxes to pay for and maintain their pet project. And, of course, when
nobody rides the stupid thing, their excuse will be that they just didn't do it
big enough.

Here's what I wrote back in 2002 when I was a lot smarter:

Voters in the Socialist
Democracy of California have voted a gazillion dollars to bolster up their aging
rapid transit system (BART). Passenger trains cost a fortune to build,
always run at a loss and will continue to suck the money out of taxpayers'
wallets forever. The passenger train is dead because the airplane and the
automobile have been invented. Passenger trains are so inefficient by
comparison, their operation must be constantly subsidized (usually by the more
efficient automobile). This explains why gasoline is $6 a gallon in
Europe. Remember that when someone tells you how wonderful the European
rail system is.

Now these
socialist idiots are proposing a "high-speed" rail system between S.F.
and L.A. So why are socialists so enamored of trains? I think they
don't like the trains nearly as much as they like the tracks. The tracks
allow them to control where people go. This helps to explain why they hate
cars and REALLY hate off-road SUVs.

You gotta hear Doyle and Debbie before you die. And the
good news is that if you don't live in Nashville, you can hear them on their
website or see them on YouTube. Just be forewarned: Doyle and Debbie
reside in a preternatural vortex of musical comedy. It's an intersection
where Lennon and McCartney meet Homer and Jethro - Where Cole Porter meets Ray
Stevens - And where sanity is savagely beaten and left for dead with its
entrails ceremoniously stuffed in its mouth.

So U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon called the United States a
"deadbeat donor" because apparently we're a billion dollars behind in
the "dues" we pay this bloodsucking, incompetent organization.
Really? Is that what's bothering you, Ban Ki? Just be glad I'm
not president cuz the first thing I'd do is give those bureaucrats 48 hours to
leave the country and then I'd sell the U.N. building to private developers to
be turned into condos.

When was the last time you heard anyone say
"It's a free country"?

So today the president signed The Lilly
Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, otherwise known as equal pay for equal work. This
is based on the laughable, post-modernist dog-poop belief that for every dollar
a man makes, a women makes only 78 cents for doing the exact same work.
There are many reasons women may be paid less:

Maternity leave
- women will typically take several months off to have a child.

Child care -
women are much less likely than men to work overtime, citing the need to get
home to be with the kids.

Confidence -
I'll bet that women are more willing to accept a lower offer when negotiating
salary. This is probably due just as much to men's propensity toward
inflating their own worth as a woman's propensity to underestimate her own
worth.*

Of course, the basis for this law is the
despicable left-wing desire to deny individual rights by putting people into
groups. Thus, if your title is Staff Analyst or IT Manager, it matters not
how well you do your job - the sole criterion for assessing your salary is your
title. Seniority, experience, and job performance count for nothing.

I realize you can argue with what I've written
so far but one fact is inescapable: If women really did the exact same work for
22% less, men would be unemployable. What business would hire a man
when they could get a woman to do the exact same job more cheaply?

The result of this disastrous legislation is
that businesses will be saddled with onerous requirements to document and
justify every salary administration decision. And, of course, the number
of frivolous lawsuits will dramatically increase. Just what we need in a
collapsing economy.

* I realize these are all generalizations so
don't write telling me I'm a pig.

Notes from the kakistocracy: 60 Minutes
does a piece on Barney Frank and calls him the smartest man in congress and
somehow never mentions his role in stonewalling the Bush administration's
attempts to rein in Fannie Mae. The media keeps comparing Barack Obama to
FDR (for some reason they think that's good) without ever once noticing that the
country is in massive debt as it struggles to pay for all the stupid programs
put in place by FDR. Caroline Kennedy doesn't think she should have to be
vetted by the people or have to put up with the drudgery of actually getting
elected (or qualified for that matter). Here's a woman who's trying to use
her family name and influence to get unearned power while Rod Blagojevich is
being vilified for being on the other side of the same coin. Bernard
Madoff was arrested for running a Ponzi scheme but yet the people running the
Social Security Administration are walking around free. It's almost as
asinine as the government outlawing gambling while running a lottery. Or
the fact that the last three presidents have all admitted to recreational drug
use and yet the War on Drugs continues. And worse, if you played by the
traditional rules, worked hard and saved your money, what you've earned is now
being taken from you and turned over to the gamblers, losers and thieves.
From each according to his abilities...

Obviously, logic and proportion have fallen
sloppy dead. We have so many laws that no one knows what they say.
It used to be said that ignorance of the law is no excuse but we now live in a
country where the people passing the laws haven't even read them much less
understand them. People are losing their moral compass and, when caught
doing something clearly immoral, will tell you they "didn't do anything
illegal." Thus, the law is abrogating morality and, sadly, the laws
are now being written by the most corrupt, ignorant people we have. Say
goodnight, Gracie.