Wednesday, October 20, 2010

There's a great piece in the National Catholic Register on the fight against pornography. The story focuses on Matthew Fradd. Fradd himself was addicted to porn before being freed from his addiction by the grace of God. He is now helping others. . .

OTTAWA, Ontario  After successfully battling an addiction to pornography, Matthew Fradd has dedicated himself to helping others.

Porn is not just naughty  its evil, said Fradd, a 27-year-old Australian living in Ottawa, Ontario. It emasculates men, degrades women and destroys marriages.

Fradd has begun his second year operating his anti-pornography website, ThePornEffect.com . He launched it on Aug. 14, 2009, on the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe, patron of addicts, using $12,000 in seed money donated to him by a priest-friend.

Fradds is a lonely voice going against the culture on the issue, especially considering that nearly 25 million websites (12% of all websites) and 25% of all daily search-engine requests are pornography-related.

In addition, a surprising number of women are regular viewers of pornography. A third of those Americans regularly visiting porn websites are women.

A variety of polls have revealed that those active in Christian churches have difficulties with porn. Promise Keepers, one of the largest Christian mens conferences in the United States, asked men at their 2008 conferences in anonymous polls if they had viewed porn in the last week; 53% of the nearly 10,000 who responded admitted that they had.

Pornography is hard on marriages, too. In a 2002 survey of 350 members of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, an association of divorce attorneys, for example, 56% said obsessive interest in pornographic sites was a factor leading to marital breakups.

Fradds site features information about how pornography affects men, women and marriages, inspirational stories of individuals who have become porn-free, information on how to beat porn addictions, videos, and opportunities to offer support to those who want to be free of porn. Fradd launched the site, he explained, because while there are millions of websites that feature pornography, theres not a lot out there for men and women who are struggling to be free from porn.

Hooked at 8

Fradd, who is from southern Australia, got hooked on pornography at the age of 8 when he found some in his grandfathers shed. By age 12, he was stealing porn from neighborhood stores, and in his teen years, he had acquired a vast collection.

No one had to tell me it was a bad thing, he said. I knew it was shameful. I was hoping Id grow out of it.

I’m fairly certain that you can function perfectly normal with the occasional viewing of such matters. The addiction issues aside considering if you become addicted could be an issue. Other issues of course are unrealistic expectations during intercourse and of course the cast of jersey shore...

but i did hear that the most porn is bought in the bible belt...don’t know how accurate that is

Porn is quite addictive. Breaking away from that addiction is as hard as any hard drug addiction. It can consume someone’s time at the rate of many hours a day, weekends on end. Just like any drug, the person gets desensitized to the images with time, and needs to go to harder and harder porn. However, unlike hard drugs, it is the most under-report of all addictions. Yet, I suspect that it affects more people than all other addictions combined.

I definitely agree with the attitude on a lot of women and thought about that when I posted what I did. Because of the depressed attitude that many women have — they do tend to overeat and therefore become overweight.

And believe after a certain age the weight comes off much more slowly than it did when I was younger. LOL!

That's where the problem lies. Not that many years ago if you wanted it you had to embarrassingly walk into an adult book store, hoping that no one you knew drove by and saw you go in. And the magazines cost a small fortune so most kept their collections small.

Today zillions of free picks and videos are only a click away, and much much harder stuff than you saw back in the 1970s or 80s at those book stores. And most can be seen without restriction by kids.

5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

9You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

12Therefore, brothers, we have an obligationbut it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, “Abba,[h] Father.” 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirsheirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Yes, I think it is the 24/7 anonymous access. It’s not unusual to hear of people being fired from high stress jobs because they spent hours per day looking at porn. That would not have been possible in the past. Something about this constant access seems to be addicting - having constant access becomes needing constant access. In the past, having limited access seemed to limit addiction a little.

I know women who say that they were happily married and then his addiction took over until he just didn’t ‘need’ her anymore. They are both attractive (not overweight). One’s husband was a deacon in his church.

I am evangelical Christian and the pastor of our church said that over 50 percent of Christian men admit to struggling to limit or stop porn.

As a person who has struggled with substance abuse issues and all the things that come with it, and as a person while not addicted, cannot deny I have never looked at porn on the internet because all it takes is the click of a mouse to do it. I would only pray that people look towards Bible based recovery groups and Bible based centers rather than 12 steppism for their addiction problems.

That’s what I was kinda thinking. I am a girl so I don’t understand the desire for that visual but it does seem ubiquitous, with good men and bad men both taking part.

I think one needs to be very careful not to use images of truly degraded or abused people and NEVER children, and probably not really young “adults” either. But I do suppose it’s part of life for a lot of young men. As long as it ISN’T addicting in a serious way, intruding on a normal life.

Unfortunately, many wives these days are disgustingly overweight and have a terrible attitude.

I hear ya with the terrible anti-male attitude. I hear it from other women, and it's a shame, acting like sex with their husbands is one more odious duty in their day. That is WRONG and while cheating or porn addiction is wrong, I can understand the man giving up when he is pushed away and belittled for his healthy desires.

But I can't agree with you on the weight issue. Believe it or not, is can be healthier for an older woman to have more meat on her bones -- and after a certain age it may be nearly impossible without surgery to remain with the 20-year-old figure. And the guys at that age are also not always as trim as they once were. As long as the lady is only eating healthy foods, and getting some moderate exercise, she shouldn't have to constantly worry about her weight for her loving husband.

//is can be healthier for an older woman to have more meat on her bones//

I totally agree. I cant tell you how many women in their mid 30’s to mid 40’s I have told that a little padding here and there, a bit of a belly etc is healthy and attractive as far as I am concerned. All things in moderation though!

I also advise women against breast implants. There are rare situations for those type of procedures, but far to many women get them just because they think their breasts need to be larger and then they have to live with all the consequences afterwords.

50 years ago, only a tiny fraction of women turned into beluga whales as they aged. Nowadays it is becoming the norm. Human physiology hasn’t changed but eating habits have.

This is a major problem for their husbands, as men are visually stimulated.

Everybody gains a few pounds over time but obesity (now >30% of the population) is defined as a BMI of 30 or higher. For an average 5’4” woman, that’s a whopping 175 pounds. Like a beach ball with feet.

Interesting point you brought up. I am an old man and an ex-drunk, and have sponsored a lot of men down through the years. Many of them did porn or prostitutes or had a flurry of romantic relationships with women that were broken or unavailable.

But I will give you a real story. One man I sponsored told me he viewed porn pictures and movies several nights a week. No one would know it otherwise. He is well thought of in the community. It’s only him and his wife in the house. Everyone thinks they are a happy couple, and even happier since he overcame booze a while back.

But the wife has ballooned to nearly three hundred pounds and doesn’t ever want sex. She also shows him no attentionat all, practically lives with her mother and is only home for small snippets of time to sleep. She doesn’t even kiss him. But in return he doesn’t cheat, doesn’t ask for a divorce, doesn’t seek emotional company with other women, works his job faithfully, and minds his own business. To some people, that isn’t good enough, apparently.

I would hope that every man would want his wife to be healthy and active in her middle years, not skeletal. Sadly, I live in L.A. where there are many skeletal women, and I really don’t think it’s for their husbands.

Unfortunately, many wives these days are disgustingly overweight and have a terrible attitude.

Is it any wonder their husbands shun them?

I don't want to take anyone to task here, but I want to make certain I understand some of the sentiments that are being expressed.

We aren't actually saying that men succumb to sexual perversion because their wives are fat are we? I present for your consideration the case of one Tiger "Idiot" Woods.

Pornography is just as much a perversion of the proper use of sex as any other sexual sin and suggesting that since men are allegedly more visually stimulated it's somehow a corollary of the "no fat chicks" rule is not acceptable. We're still doing this after all this time: "And Adam said: The woman, whom thou gavest me to be my companion, gave me of the tree, and I did eat." Blaming our women for our own faults. In the sanitized words of Richard Pryor "How long, O Lord! How long will this 'nonsense' go on?" Marriage isn't the cohabitation of two people, marriage is the union of two halves of a whole. That's why homosexuals can't do it at all and the rest of us can't do it serially.

If your definition of marriage stops at cohabitation for mutual benefit then ok, good luck with your civilization collapsing around your ears.

There can be no such thing as "pornography use", there is only "pornography abuse". It's not like alcohol, or food, or television, or computer games or anything else that can either be used or abused. Therefore there is nothing that justifies or mitigates its abuse.

Steve: Because it's got naked women in it. Look, I like naked women. I'm a bloke. I'm supposed to like them. We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. Look, it is the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a boy is. And if you don't like it darling, join a film collective. Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of that table there. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a bloke is. When man invented fire, he didn't say, "Hey, let's cook." He said, "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark. As soon as Gutenberg invented the printing press, we were using it to make pictures of, hey, naked bottoms. We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms. So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Frankly, girls, I'm not sure how insulted you really ought to be.

That may be hilarious social commentary... come to think of it, it might even be true, but it's fundamentally wrong.

btw...given how computer addicted many freepers are I would venture that aside from the granny demographic that dominates FR that the second biggest demographic...the lonely got no girlfriend males 18-60 group

watch porn...

just a hunch..lol

46
posted on 10/24/2010 7:56:19 AM PDT
by wardaddy
(the redress over anything minority is a cancer in our country...stage 4)

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