It seems like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle getting ready to say “I do”. It’s now been three years since I said those two small yet meaningful words, and wow, so much has changed! My husband and I have come a long way in our relationship, and I couldn’t help but write down three of the most important things I’ve learned thus far.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ve come to realize that the dishes aren’t always going to get done right after dinner. The laundry isn’t always going to get washed on our designated wash day. My plans and expectations won’t always be met as fast as I want them to be met. But that’s okay. I’ve learned to relax, to not get frustrated when things don’t go my way. I’ve learned to be kind in the mist of crazy hectic schedules, and to kick our feet up and put my to do list aside. Marriage isn’t about making sure everything is perfect. I don’t have to be the perfect wife, with dinner on the table at 6 o clock sharp, and the house spick and span. There’s no point in putting undo pressure on myself, or on my husband, when in reality, that stuff won’t matter in the long run.

Patience is indeed a virtue. This one goes along with my previous point. When stuff doesn’t go my way, I’ve learned to be patient. I’ve learned to trust in my husband, and his timing, and his guidance. He leads us in the way he sees fit, and even though I sometimes go bonkers trying to speed life up, I’ve come to learn patience. Whether it’s a small thing such as a household chore, or a larger event like finishing a degree or moving on to the next stage in life. I’ve learned to take each moment as it comes, step by step, trying my best to show patience in every situation. Whether that means waiting until it’s the right time to have a child, buy a house, or get that new car, it’s important to have patience and wait for the right timing.

Listening. This one word action is something I still struggle with on a daily basis but am intentionally striving to work on. When you’re with someone all the time, it can be easy to tune them out during conversations. When the hubby starts talking about wrestling, supplements, or his dream car, it can be so easy to nod my head and continue doing whatever I was doing. But lately, I’m realizing that just because I am not interested in what he has to say on certain topics, doesn’t mean I should nonchalantly or half listen. Instead, I’m learning to be an active listener, trying my best to focus and engage in what he has to say, even on the not so fun things. He’s a guy, after all, and he listens to me talk endlessly about Taylor Swift’s drama and my thoughts on where we need to travel next, so the least I can do is return the favor. I’m learning to put down the phone, close the computer, and shut the book, because when I look back on my life, I want to know I gave our relationship everything I’ve got, even in those little everyday conversations. My husband’s the most important person to me in the world, so why shouldn’t I give him my undivided attention on the daily? He deserves it more than anyone.

These past three years have taught me more than I ever dreamed it could. I talk more about what I’ve learned about relationships in my new book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Surviving Her Twenties, that comes out later this summer, so make sure to subscribe via email so will know when it’s released.

What have you learned so far in your marriage? What are somethings you had to overcome in your relationships, be it friendships, a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

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Hey ya'll! I'm Courtney, and I'm a Florida-born gal learning to live in East Asia. You can find travel tips, fashion inspo, and my daily adventures right here on my blog. My hope is that this blog will help inspire you to live your best life! Make sure to check out my book, The Smart Girl's Guide to Surviving Her Twenties, for more tips on how to survive, and thrive, throughout the most transformative decade of your life.

This is wonderful! I’m still struggling with that first one, but we’re only about two years into our relationship and he’s teaching me more everyday (: moving into our first place together is a huge step, but we’re ready. Looking forward to your book xoxo

Congrats on your book and 3 years of marriage! Listening is one of the most important things you can do for the person you love…even if you don’t want to in that particular moment. 😉 I’d also say to not argue over trivial things. As the years go by, those trivial things won’t matter one bit, so don’t waste precious time fighting over them. Hubby and I will celebrate 25 years this September. ❤

I’ve never been married. At this point, I don’t know if I ever will be. But reading this is helpful, so that if and when I’m ever in a relationship again, I can distinguish between something I genuinely need to be patient with or a red flag that I’m being treated like total crap, which has been the case in almost all of the relationships I’ve experienced so far.

The listening thing is important too, not just in a marriage or romantic relationship, but with friends. And it can help me determine who my real friends are and aren’t, if they’re willing to listen to things I’m excited about or not. Of course, as a true friend I should return the favor, and I do my best to.

Yes, there is definitely a line between being patient and being treated like crap! Definitely watch out for those red flags, especially during the dating stage! And yes, listening is so important especially with friends and family. Having good listening skills makes us good friends to others.

Congrats on your new book. I am not married but these three things you learned from marriage also applies to anyone at daily life. #3 – listening is so important and I remember my first improv class my instructor trained us specifically for our listen skills and how it affects the stage work. It is certainly one of the most important skills we need to have, but easy to ignore.

As a bride-to-be, this post is so special to me! I really appreciate and am going to keep the advice you listed. Patience is definitely something I struggle with sometimes. I’m lightyears better than I used to be – thanks to my fiancé. Also, LOL, because my fiancé also likes to talk about wrestling, so I have tips to keep you listening during those conversations! Wonderful post, Courtney xx

Congratulations bride to be!! It’s a huge learning process, being patient and listening and everything else! And ahh glad I’m not the only one who has to listen to their man talk about wrestling hahah Best of luck to you on this exciting new journey you’ll soon to be embarking on!! xx

Marriage is a learning, growing together and a lot of experiences.
But isn’t it fantastic to be that close to the person you love the most?
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Have a nice day.
Love, Esther

First of all, you looked so incredibly beautiful on your wedding day. Second, congrats to you both for going strong. And third…thanks for sharing! Definitely important to not sweat the small stuff. If hubby is on board with that too…then you guys are golden.http://www.streetmadonna.com

❤ Thanks, girl. My hubby finishes his last day of his 3rd year of medical school tomorrow, so I booked us dinner reservations at one of our favorite places this weekend. Now we will have more to celebrate 🙂

Congratulations on your 3rd anniversary!! We are coming up on our 1st in August! I love what you wrote and I myself find, I have to practice active listening as well. It’s funny because I consider myself to be a natural listener but because I am with my husband so often and some of the things he talks to me about I have very little interest in, Ive realized its so important to be present when he’s sharing with me. As you said I want to look back and know I gave it my best and my all and by being present I have a much better chance at remembering it all!! X

Aw thanks and congrats to you as well for nearly reaching your three years!!! I can definitely relate, I am a natural listener too but being with my husband so much it can be so easy to tune out– but it is so important to be present! Thanks for reading. xx

Big congratulations! I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone since I got married too – the last 4 years have flown by so quickly. How fantastic that you have written a book – best of luck with it x