Tag Archives: sharing the care

No matter how many commonalities caregivers have, in the early hours of the day or the late hours of the night when your loved ones need bathed, fed, dressed, toileted, calmed, cared for, you are pretty much alone. When they need help getting to the doctor, going through the bills, taking medication, you’ve been pretty much by yourself. I know. I was there for nineteen years.

Even though Caregiver Action Network statistics show “More than 65 million people, 29% of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year,” as indicated in a 2009 report, a Caregiver.com article by Kathy Bosworth notes that the majority of caregivers are “going it alone.”

That means we’re it—unless we find, ask, or pull assistance instead of a rabbit out of Professor Marvel’s hat.

My assistance came in the form of Development Homes, a group home in North Dakota. Katie and I jumped into the tornado of change, left husband/father back in Colorado, and landed in Midwest-land, otherwise known as Grand Forks. My good witch of the north wasn’t Glinda, it was Tanya—Katie’s nurse at Development Homes, someone who took Katie’s health and best interest under her wings.

Transitioning from living at home to living in a group home for Katie was an adventure. It was more interesting, more stimulating, more consistent in medical care. It was a horse of a different color and she began to thrive—slept through the night, fewer doctor’s visits, and more magical mastering of day to day challenges.

I broke out in hives.

Trusting others with the care of a loved one is scarier than a pack of flying monkeys, whether it’s for an evening, a weekend, or longer. The emerald lining, for me, was that I went from primary caregiver to being part of a team of caregivers. Still, the very idea of sharing the care in of itself can sound insurmountable.

It seems like more work than it’s worth—additional stress. There is one obstacle in particular that I had, and have heard from others, that keep us from reaching out: Who.

Who do you trust? Nobody can do this as well as you, right? Valid statement. But since cloning is out, for now the best solution is training.