Thursday, December 26, 2013

For me, the most depressing part of this holiday is seeing Duck Dynasty sugar cookies with a seasonal theme. Can someone please tell me what in the hell this obnoxious phenomenon has to do with 1) cookies, 2) Christmas, or 3) basic sensibility?

Christmas is supposed to be a time of love, acceptance, and tolerance, and for recognizing a figure who embodied these qualities. So where does Phil Robertson fit into all of this? The real scrooges here, though, are the money grubbers at A&E. Despite their "suspension" of Robertson, viewers will be able to see his hairy puss in the new season beginning next month. I guess "good will toward men" is fine as long as it doesn't affect the bottom line.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Pete Delkus is one of the local meteorologists here in Dallas. I know this is for a good cause, and god bless him and the folks at WFAA for doing this every year. But that caricature of Delkus kind of creeps me out.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Monday, December 2, 2013

Here's something I found the other week and had previously shared with my friend Brian:

There are many things about this that make me curious. Why is that woman holding the roller as if it were a microphone? What's that expression on her face? Why is the lint flying all around her if the roller is supposed to be effective? And what's the deal with "Roll'r"? I guess it just had to be trademarked.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Back in June I wrote that The Gallery of the Absurd was going on hiatus, and that this was due primarily to competing responsibilities. I was finding myself devoting more non-work time to other endeavors -- i.e., the podcast and blog, The Comics Alternative -- and having little left for the Gallery. But with a backlog of weird ads and product labels, with the continued encouragement from my demented friends who keep sending me strange stuff (and you know who you are Al, Brian, Trace, and Nick), and with the marketing crap of the holiday season upon us, I thought that I might find some time, and find it in my heart, to resume entries on The Gallery of the Absurd.

I'll keep it as a simple blog, for now, but I've decided not to base it on scheduled postings. That means that I won't feel impelled to post something almost every day, and I won't maintain the ongoing weekly features such as the Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week and Retro-Adtivity (at least as of now). That was becoming too time consuming, and I want the Gallery to be something that everyone, including me, can enjoy. So for now, I'll be posting weird entries as I find them…which is exactly what I did back in the late 1990s with the original Gallery of the Absurd.

All of that being said, please relax, breathe a sigh of relief, and look forward once again to the sweet, nougaty satisfaction thatis The Gallery of the Absurd.

Monday, June 17, 2013

As many of you have noticed, I have not been posting entries on The Gallery of the Absurd since mid-March. This isn't because of the lack of fodder for The Gallery (far from it), but rather, it stems from a redirection of time and energies. Last year my friend Andy Kunka and I began a podcast, The Comics Alternative, a weekly show devoted to the discussion and analysis of comics (primarily indie or non-superhero titles). Furthermore, over the past couple of months we have been developing The Comics Alternative through enhanced episodes, increased sponsorships, and with plans for a substantive blog, complete with book reviews, critical analyses, and interviews. We've been putting a lot of work into this endeavor, and I have found that this has been limiting my free time...including the time I have devoted to The Gallery of the Absurd. Several of you have contacted me to ask 1) if I am okay -- and yes I am, thanks for asking! -- or 2) if I had quit doing The Gallery of the Absurd. I won't say at this time that I am stopping the Gallery, but due to competing endeavors (i.e., The Comics Alternative), I'm putting the Gallery on hiatus. I may come back to itin the near or later future, but for now I'm taking a break from updating The Gallery of the Absurd. However, there are PLENTY of Gallery entries for fans to (re)visit, including most of the entires that made up the original Webby Award-winning Gallery of the Absurd from the 1990s. So please, enjoy those. Besides, the original Gallery wasn't a website that was updated daily, but a repository of strange ads, labels, and signs that grew more slowly and developed over time.

So until later, keep your eyes open for the absurd, and contact me if you find any weirdness out there!

Friday, March 8, 2013

I saw this in a Dollar General store the other day, but I'm not exactly sure what the hell it is:

The description on the box says something about "the trolls of the mountain," but the image looks something like Santa Claus. But then the banner over santa troll's head reads "A touch of country magic." So what does "country magic"--and what exactly is country magic?--have to do with Santa Claus or trolls? They're trying to sell brooms here, so why the mixed layers of references and imagery?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I'm scratching my head here, trying to figure out why the kid is in this advertisement. What does he have to do with the content of the flyer? It's for an organization called Heritage for the Blind, but this boy doesn't seem to be blind at all. And there's nothing about the service, or the way it is framing itself, that suggests anything child-friendly or kid-related. I know that market and design people like to use children in their ads to give things a particular feel -- something is innocent, something is pure, something is good for the family -- but what the hell is the function of this kid? Is he going to come tow your truck? Is he threatening to visit your home and blind you?

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Mmmmmmm. What's cooking? Something smells good this morning. What is it? Might it be this week's installment of

RETRO-ADTIVITY?

Something sizzling from 1959:

"Mornindine" was the trade name of pipamazine, a drug prescribed for women during pregnancy, supposedly to help alleviate morning sickness. It was eventually pulled from the market because it caused hepatic lesions.

But screw mom's liver! As long as she gets up to make everyone breakfast, and dad doesn't have to dirty his hands, who cares? Right?

A couple of things here. First, you still have the kid's face next to (and apparently associated with) the object of their service, this time a toilet. Second, there's a rainbow coming out of the bowl. Is this any kind of commentary on the value of the baby, or perhaps the kind of things the baby's parents have been eating...or some strange signifying of both?

Monday, February 25, 2013

Today C. Everett Koop passed away. In memory, I'd like to feature an entry with Koop that I posted back on June 13, 2008. However, the very first time I posted this was in the original Gallery of the Absurd back in the late 1990s. Goodbye, Mr. Surgeon General.
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C. Everett eat his eggs. I found this on the inside of a carton of eggs I bought.

From Reagan's Surgeon General to shiller of that incredible, edible orb. Egg-cellent!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

The good Sugar Smacks people at Kellogg's, the same folk who brought us

Vitamin fortified ethnic stereotypes

The scary face of Lou Jacobs paired with a reference to atomic destruction

A free toy, the dismembered body of Mary Hartline, circus star

And a laughing Andy Devine...'nuf said.

For more breakfast cereal fun, be sure to check out the website of Mr. Breakfast, where I found all of these images. Don't let Mr. Breakfast's weird grinning face scare you away. It's a site well worth digging through!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Why did the designers of this advertisement choose to include the phrase "We'll wash away your troubles!" right underneath the image of the cute baby? Is this message for overburdened parents? A coded reference to black market babies or perhaps infanticide?

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Usually I try to adhere strictly to advertisements, signs, and labels on The Gallery of the Absurd. But I guess the cover of a brand magazine is a kind of label, right? This one was just too good to pass up:

How about de-cluttering your life by refusing to buy vapid ego-generated publications such as this?

Did the cover designer give any thought to the potential irony of this layout?

Saturday, February 16, 2013

In the first years of the twentieth century the National Biscuit Company (later Nabisco) came out with a kind of ginger snap called Zu Zu. Their mascot was a freaky-looking clown thing that was supposed to be fun and entertaining...like their cookie. But beneath the surface of this smiling, painted face lies a darker truth. Let's take a look, shall we?

A newspaper ad from 1910.

Innocent looking enough...right?

But then, things begin to get a little weird and disturbing.

What at first appears to be a kid-friendly icon...

Turns out to be something akin to that scary clown doll in Poltergeist.

Just who is this Gallery guy?

The Gallery of the Absurd is a repository of weird--but real--advertisements, labels, and signs. It began in 1996 as a simple website of scanned images and sarcastic commentary, featuring such specialty pages as "The Annoying J. Crew Model of the Week," "The Arch Deluxe Hate Page," "Clowns Are Scary," and "Jenny McCarthy, Enough Is Enough!" Due to massive audience feedback and contributions, The Gallery quickly grew in popularity, winning the 1997 Webby Award in the "Weird" category. After a brief hiatus, it is back as a blog, so folks can now easily get their daily fix of the warm and creamy goodness that is contemporary marketing.