Defeat cannot be our story

August 7, 2016by Annie Kaufman

Think about a toddler learning to walk. Think about how many times that toddler falls down in it’s attempts to stand up on it’s own, hold onto furniture to move around and eventually starts to take steps in attempts to walk.

Sometimes they get a surprised look on their face. Sometimes they even cry. Most of the time though they get right back up, maybe have to have their feelings comforted, but they get up and they keep trying.

How else will they learn to walk if they do not keep getting up and trying again? They seem to have an innate knowing that they will accomplish this if they keep trying. They do not allow themselves to even believe they could be defeated.

I know in my life, there have been many things I wanted to do. Many of these things I was told it cannot be done. I knew it could. I did not buy into the negativity that came from those others who did not see what I could see. I did not buy into the beliefs of others. Instead, I continued on with what my intentions were to achieve the things I knew I could do.

I am not saying that there have not been things that I knew I could not do. I have known of things that I knew were beyond what I could do at that particular time. I know when something is not one of my particular talents and I’m best to leave it to someone who has that talent.

The key is when you want to achieve something and you know it is possible, not to give up just because you have a few setbacks. Sometimes there are very valid reasons for setbacks.

Maybe when the baby first attempts to stand and then take steps his muscles have not developed well, and to take off and start walking could cause him physical damage. Maybe the timing is not right yet. Maybe he needs to build those muscles first.

So when you are trying to achieve something, look at what seems like a defeat. Examine it! Ask questions. Is it time yet? Is there a better way to do this thing? Do I need help or assistance from somewhere to make it work? Do I have the right attitude?

I also have seen a difference in my life on the outcome of things based on my attitude. There can be something I want to do, I enjoy doing, but I’ve learned that even though I enjoy doing it … if in any way I feel like I have to do it … it changes the energy of it and it does not flow the way it should.

Example … My grandchildren came for a visit. I decided to make them trip journals. This included taking pictures, having them printed and then writing up captions for each picture and putting it all together in a folder. Gluing them on a piece of paper and putting them in sheet protectors.

I love doing this for them, I enjoy it, I want to do it. But I found that getting thru over 100 pictures … putting them in order and going through this process too a lot of time. They headed home before I got really into it. Because it took so much time I found myself having to find time to fit it in my schedule to work on it. After a while, I noticed it got put on my have to do this list. Like it is now hanging over my head to get it done so I can send it to them.

This is not the energy I want to put into this journal. I wanted to do this so they would have something to look at as they get older to remember the trip by and enjoy looking at the pictures themselves.

I want this to come from a place of joy not drudgery. So, I had to change the way I thought about this. I had to stop trying to find time to get to it and decide I was going to plan time to treat myself to this enjoyable project. It makes all the difference!!

So the next time you feel like you are not getting accomplished what you want to get accomplished. Ask yourself the questions and explore the roadblocks to change it from defeat to success!