Ch 1, v I. In His whiskery benevolence, our Spagmogular Saviour created peanuts. In duality He created them, wherefore upon the opening of the shell there might be found not one but two peanuts, so that he who haveth a peanut might share it in fullness with his fwendy.v II. Dry Roasted also He created them, thereby to increase their nomworthiness. Whensoever it shall come to pass that thou openeth their packet - yea verily, sealed in foil for freshness - then shalt thou sniffeth the farty smell thereof, even before thou nommeth them.v III. Beware the spicy-coated peanut! Thou consumeth them at thine own risk, for they are unsuitable for squirlys, and causeth yickiness in their tummys. Be thou not a squirly, then mayst thou indulge of their spicy goodness.v IV. Thou shalt not putteth jam in thy peanut butter sarnies, unless it be that thou art American, in which case thou art beyond redemption in respect of the culinary sphere. And, anyway, why dost thou call jam "jelly"? Thou art silly.v V. Neither shalt thou nom of the peanuts upon the bar, for they have got poo upon them.v VI. Orthodox Pastafarians also mayst partaketh of the Sacred Peanut, for His Noodliwhiskerage hath created also Satay Noodles, which haveth peanuts in it somewhere.v VII. There are those who knoweth not of the ways of Spagmog. Those imperfect of thought sayeth "WTF are you on about? Peanuts weren't invented by a cat!" But Pnut Cat sayeth unto them: "Mi bestest fwendy Spaghetti Cat totally did invented pnutz, so poo!"v VIII. The it came to pass that the imperfect of thought rose up in mighty wrathfulness and cryeth: "There's more to life than peanuts, you ridiculous rodent!" Yet Pnut Cat confoundeth them, saying: "K . . . Pnut fwavr icy-cream!"v IX. Then the imperfect of thought lamenteth, saying: "Bloody Hell, I give up!"v X. And Pnut Cat forgiveth them, saying: "Y bez nasti? Hifn i givs u pnut, u bez hapi? Pnut Cat wuvs pnutz!"