Archive for christ

Tonight we were talking about freedom and amidst all the pretty cool conversation I first of all realized how bound I still am to so many more things and stuff then I wish to be (but I’m not gonna be bound to the guilt either just sayin). Second I realized this one theme has been really bouncing around lately and I can’t shake it. Therefore I am going to try to open this concept up.

First I want to give this confusing (in my opinion) statement from paul to the galatians. Paul says in effect [it is for freedom that Christ has set you free]. Um…….what? I pretty much would gather that if you are set free that it is for freedom. Soooooooooo, what?

Here’s something my wife offered. She said well Jesus is the Truth and He said you will know the Truth and it will set you free so Jesus freed us to know Him. Something like that. I mean that’s kind of a good point. Don’t know if that’s what paul specifically meant but I don’t think its far off at all. The more I think about it the more I like it to. Actually while I’m writing this I like the idea more and more. Man I love my wife.

Ok back to the topic. What does freedom look like? Who can really say they are free in this world. I mean we are all bound to something somehow. Someone was talking tonight about how they were bound to the need for things to be specifically structured and if that structure didn’t work out then it would throw everything off. I’m kind of a “seat of the pants” kind of guy and never really had structure in my life so I actually have to create structure or I won’t have any but some really have to stick to a strict code or plan. This may seem like a perfectly fine thing to do but sometimes it can be just another bondage. This can sometimes be a problem when people come to Christ as well. When you first come to Christ (at least when I first came to Christ) it reminds me of pilgrims progress when dude has the “burden” fall off of him. All the guilt and paranoia and shame just initially falls right off and at least for me it felt like I could just stretch out and finally say “I’m free!!!!”. No really that’s how I felt at first. It was night and day (literally) for me. I talked to God one night and I woke up the next morning like I didn’t even know who I was. I mean I felt bad for a lot of the things I had done (if you were a homeless pimp ho drug dealin car theivin girl stealin burglerin crackhead you’d feel a little bad for the people you messed over too) but I knew all that had happened was gone. It was over. There was nothing I could do to change it and all I could do was move forward. Doesn’t mean I don’t bear both the physical and emotional scars of it all (some more than others) but I know without Christ it would be way worse. Not to mention, I know freedom.

But something happens to people sometimes. I’m gonna share what some may think is stereotypical but its about me and the people I’ve been around so believe me its more observation than stereotyping. Here goes. Y’all may not get this but let’s see where it goes.

When I was a homeless crackhead I went to all sorts of places to get food clothing and other services. Eventually I ended up living at one of the ministries and there was something I finally noticed when I stopped smoking crack. Druggies eat A LOT when they ain’t got no drugs. Eh, say what you will but I’ve been there done that got the t-shirt up in my closet. We go from one bondage to another. This same thing happens in prison/jail. Food is like the jank when you comin down (whether its from drugs or from crime). Its less about survivql and more about fillin the void.

We talked tonight about how God freed His people but because their void wasn’t being filled the way they expected they desired to actually go back to their bonds because they wanted the good side of things. Also there are people who actually purposely commit crimes to go to jail (I did this a couple times so I understand). There really is a security in bondage sometimes. Its sick really. There is a song I used to jam out to that hits the nail on the head I think http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nineinchnails/happinessinslavery.html

I’m so glad that I’ve been grafted
By the One who made it happen
I was nappin
Lovin sin and
Didn’t care about His image
Well
Then one day He called me out
Pulled my ticket wolfin all
Had no truth up in my bones
But still calls me His own
Man somethings wrong
Oh yeah I get it
Wasn’t me
It was He
All the time I ran my life
Full of pain sorrow and strife
Is it perfect now?
Well no
But better off than was before
Now that’s for sure
And if I hadn’t responded
God only knows where Id be at
Probably still bummin some scraps
Off of couples comin out of
Restaurants in santa moni-
Cause that’s what I’m all about
Ya didn’t know?
Well now ya do so what ya think?
Now how do I stink?
Hopefully when you smell me
Its Jesus fragrance heavenly
Let’s wait and see