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Topic: Why do I feel gay??? (HOCD Round 2?) (Read 1037 times)

Hello,Im a 15 year old male, and I got rid of my self diagnosed HOCD about 3 or so months ago, but it feels like its coming back for revenge. Recently I have been noticing members on my same sec more often; for instance I know when a guy looks good or not. Or for instance when I saw Fast and Furious and saw Vin Deasel; i was like wow that guy is epic with the low voice and muscles. I dont think I was attracted to him , but I admired his physic and voice ( this started to alarm me a little bit.) Furthermore, I have never EVER got a boner to a guy, and always get to them to girls. I also dont think i have ever been attracted to guy (I hope not) but i had multiple crushes on girls before in a love and infatuation kind of way. I currently have this massive crush on this girl that is the most beautiful person that i have ever seen, but I have this weird feeling that Im lieing to myself for some reason. Furthermore, I feel i have this weird sensation to suck my own________ when im in the washroom. I also have these thoughts about my voice sounding gay or flamboyant or the how I put my hand on my chin. Above all the worst thing about this is that I just feel gay, i dont know why but I do; even though the evidence would indicate otherwise. Lastly, when im having a really a good time with my guy friends (Not in that way, but just hanging around and joking with each other) I just feel like im gay for whatever reason.

Sorry if I offended some people but Im not trying to be homophobic; im just looking for someone who feels the same as me. Thanks

There is nothing in what you wrote to indicate that you are gay. As a man there is nothing wrong in looking at another man and thinking he is epic. We all do it. Lot of my role models are male. I think they are great at what they do. They look the real deal too. There is nothing wrong with another male saying any of that. It doesn't mean I have a crush on any of these males at all. Just think they are the business. What would we give to even look half like they do? You are still young. Thoughts might come and go that confuse you. But you know you are into females. Males just don't turn you on. Enjoy your life. If you ever manage that thing in the wash room join a circus. They could do with people who can bend that far over.

As a male who does find other males , as well as other females, attractive nothing that you really said makes you sound gay. The ideation of self pleasure you had in the washroom is something that I am sure most men, gay, bi, or straight have had. Even you being envious another dude for being somewhat of an alpha male that is completely different that being sexually attracted to the same gender. Also just because you enjoy the friendships of males does not make you gay. I think almost everyone would be at that point.

As a gay male, let me just say that being gay means you are attracted to members of the same sex. As others have said, nothing you said necessarily means you are gay. Being able to tell which guys are more attractive than others is something every man can do. You don't see anyone out there trying to emulate Steve Buscemi! What you describe could very well be an OCD. Keep in mind though that you are young, and you are still developing. Eventually you will know how you identify. No one can tell you if you are straight or gay. This is something you figure out yourself.

Thanks Everyone for the replies! Furthermore, this would be the last time that im asking you guys for reassurance, as I know it can do more harm than good. Anyway, recently one of guys from my Physical Education class walked past me with his muscular arms; the first thought that came to my mind was "that guys arm's are muscular and soft." Additionally I started thinking that I should start to look like him. What really alarmed me, was that I felt something inside me, it could of been some light anxiety at the thought or my fear of being attracted to him. Does this sound like an attraction to you?