The Cucumber

I’m naming this pud The Cucumber, and not just because of the high likelihood that he bats for the home team. Okay yes, I’m naming him that for exactly that reason.

Staring at torn fishnets and a choke collar dude sandwiched between two sexy if bizarrely eyebrowed hotties, as I’ve been doing all afternoon, brings up an important point.

I’ve been debating for awhile whether the Gaybag actually officially qualifies as a sub-genre category douchebag. Certainly Gaybags can appear douchebaggy. Just take The Cucumber here. But I’ve meditated and ruminated on the topic, and I’m ready to make a decision.

I’m going to rule that Gaybags can not be an official sub-category of Douchebag.

Part of the intrinsic modus operandi of the douchebag is the affectations of douchebaggery in the interests of attracting a hottie. Gaybags may take on douchebag charm through dress, style and forehead grease, but since they’re inherently harmless in the presence of the female, they can never ascend to the true personification of douchitude that is the various categories of scrote we chronicle on this site on a daily basis.

Now I’m sure there are gay douchebags in the gay universe. But I will leave that exploration to another website, perhaps Hot Douchebags with Douchebags. For the purposes of our critical exploration of the cultural ramifications of the douche virus, Gaybags are officially ruled out from qualifying for actual Douchebaggery within the confines of the HCwDB universe.

This, however, does not mean we can’t marvel at the wrongness of this pic. Only that the soul sucking gut punch wrongness of a true HCwDB pic can never really take place unless the central driving thrust of the ‘bag is his intense desire to impress the hottie, and willingness to douche out to do so. Thoughts?