Our youngest daughter is destined for notoriety

Who’s the Daddy?

Published:13:00Thursday 19 March 2015

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Daughter #2 is going to be famous. There, I’ve said it. Some people are destined for notoriety and our youngest definitely is.

For longer than we care to remember she has swanned around, practising acceptance speeches in her head, dancing when everybody else walks and laying the foundations for the glamorous life which is hers for the taking.

She locked her hands behind her back and pulled them over the top of her head until they were in front of her

She talks like an actress, moves like a dancer and poses like a model. She’s 12 but looks about 20.

All of this came in pretty handy last week when a casting agency turned up at her school looking for kids to appear in a film that’s being shot this summer.

They asked each kid to tell them a bit about themselves, and just before daughter #2 was about to go on about her dance training a pal said exactly what she was about to say. Her thunder was well and truly stolen.

So she improvised and said: “I can do this!”

The more squeamish among you may want to look away now because it involves an act usually reserved for the Circus of Horrors. Don’t try this at home.

She locked her hands behind her back and pulled them over the top of her head until they were in front of her.

It looks like something out of an Aphex Twin video and makes me feel queasy every time I see it.

But she does it with a big grin on her face, revelling in her audience’s revulsion.

Anyway, it did the trick and she was invited to attend the agency’s workshop (made it to the next round for all you X Factor drones) where they had a closer look and got the kids to play games and be themselves.

Now here’s the thing. Showbusiness is a tough gig. There’s the show and then there’s the business. For every kid that makes it there are thousands who don’t.