In Defense Of Denise Richards.

I have not met, nor do I know Denise Richards. But already I can see she has drawn upon more patience and self restraint than most people could muster in the same circumstances.

As she nears her fortieth birthday, she has found herself in the most unlikely, and unfortunate of circumstances. Trying to maintain dignity and discretion for herself and her children as her ex-husband’s personal struggles with addiction unfold in a public forum.

It is quite possibly the most surreal of ‘how did I get here?’ scenarios. When she met Charlie Sheen and married him in 2002, she certainly was aware that he was complicated. His issues with drugs and prostitution were well documented. But like so many people, like everyone who has ever seen every warning sign and red flag and stormed forward nonetheless, she fell in love with a person in spite of their flaws. But it wouldn’t be long before taking the high road was no longer an option.

Make no mistake… when she filed for divorce in 2005, it got ugly. And as celebrity divorces go, the tabloid fodder eventually made her more of a flashy headline than a working actress. She was lumped into the category of “crazy psycho ex.” And as time passes, even though the paparazzi flashes dim a bit, a reputation is cemented. Richards became viewed as more of a reality-show character – more flash than substance. Unfairly branded a career casualty of a troubled relationship.

But while the photographers turned to the next scandal du jour, Richards focused on her children, fighting for their privacy and their security. At first, the couple agreed to shared custody of daughters Sam, 6, and Lola, 5. But in what may be the wisest move Charlie Sheen has made in recent years, in 2010 he signed parental rights over to Denise.

When news broke about Sheen’s hotel meltdown last fall, jaws dropped when people read that Richards sat and had dinner with him and his adult-film ‘star’ Capri Anderson (and six others) prior to the event. When a reportedly naked, drugged and boozed up Sheen tore up his hotel room and landed in a New York hospital, it was Richards who was by his side to see him get the proper care.

As fate would have it, around the same time, her recent role in a Spike TV series required publicity appearances, forcing Richards to share all the pre-planned interviews with an elephant in the room: the troubled life of her ex, Charlie.

Richards had every opportunity – and still does – to throw her ex-husband under the bus. But as she did on the Joy Behar show this past October, she continues to take the high road, looking out for her children – knowing that what she says now will be immortalized on the internet and kept in the video archives of every network she speaks to:

Said Richards, to Behar:

“The thing is, it`s very — my daughters are 5 and 6 years old and they`re at an age where they can start to understand. They have no idea what went on, and a lot of our stuff happened when they were much younger, which I am so grateful for.

We`re in an amazing place. We`ve been getting along great for the last year and a half. And, you know, we`re doing our best so as far as that situation I`m trying to protect the girls from it as much as possible.”

Protecting them has become more and difficult, as evidenced by the latest porn star involved in Sheen’s recent wild night. (The same crazy night that led to his hospitalization, and entrance into rehab.) On “Good Morning America” Monday, porn star Kacey Jordan aired all the dirty laundry, claiming that Sheen asked her to babysit his kids: “He’s like, ‘Can you babysit? I need a girl I can rely on to babysit, you know?”

In what could easily have caused a public meltdown, Richards again played her cards right. Keeping it simple and clear. Via Twitter, she said, succinctly:

“If you caught ‘GMA’ today..FYI.. No ‘adult film star’ will be babysitting our kids!”

Sadly, Twitter is both a blessing and a curse for someone like Richards. An easy outlet to reach the masses, but also a direct line for anonymous websurfers to send hateful tweets in her direction. (It’s easy to be obnoxious when you don’t have to look someone in the eye.)

Interestingly enough, it remains unclear how Richards truly feels about Sheen. Her only public sentiment about him has been in correlation to protecting her children. It’s not clear whether she wants Sheen to get clean for his own good, or just for the kids. I would imagine a little of both, but she doesn’t discuss it. And that’s how it should be. It is truly no one’s business but theirs.

Richards has had every opportunity to turn this horrific situation into a sympathy-seeking publicity event – and she hasn’t. It’s high time we take a moment to applaud someone for not sharing their story, and instead keeping their eyes on what is truly the most important – the ones they love.

19 Responses

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She is interesting. Of course, she presently has
really influence upon Charlie. It is doubtful that
when she was married, ….or that one person can
overwhelmingly influence the other person.

Do we really blame Charlie’s breakdown, or screaming
on drugs, or that just is flat out frustrated…and
having a good time…and can afford to Shout, Scream,
and have sex with two women. Really, Denise needs
some R I C H man to walk into her life, enjoy her
company, and give a great deal of fr e e dom.

Everyone is to blame here. All these women who have babies with Charlie knowing his history have left there children with NO father because of it. Someone needs to stand up for these kids and stop defending these women who are making mistakes and now the kids have to suffer. Charlie is a loser and a bad person. Why a man, a father with 4 young children would be partying, doing drugs, and paying for hookers is beyond me. I have little respect for the women including Denise who don’t choose wisely and then bring kids into the world. Use birth control! I don’t care what you do to yourself, but once you bring kids into the mix, all bets are off!

No offense to Denise, but this article has “Public Relations move” all over it. Denise is no saint. She knew exactly what she was getting into when she married Charlie. She obviously wanted the extra fame and a part of Charlie’s fortune as well.
Part of her divorce settlement probably is not to speak negative of Charlie – in exchange for his generous financial support.

Honestly- I think Denise is showing pure strength, maturity, and nothing but love for those two beautiful children. Does my opinion matter? No. But I think when someone is facing something as difficult as she is now (being a single parent of two children and a parent to her kids father), it is important to give credit where credit is due. As for the people who want to say negative things…..just remember….it’s always easy to criticize someone else for their actions esp. when it has NOTHING to do with you. I guarantee if you were thrown into the spotlight your lives would look a whole lot different (not oh so innocent) on camera and in the public eye. Can you imagine every little thing you did was picked apart by millions who have never even laid eyes on you and get their “credible” information from magazines and blogs that get their information from other mags and blogs (who prob. made it up in the first place)? Can you imagine trying to help your ex, protect your kids, and trying to make millions understand the truth all at once? HELL NO! We don’t know how much she is dealing with but one thing that is obvious….she is taking the high road and putting her kids first. Something Charlie may want to do after his ” home rehab.”

I assure you, no one had an influence on this article but ME. It is strictly my own opinion. I respect all the different viewpoints… and sure, I concur that no side in this story is perfect…But she has certainly exercised some restraint here, and I credit her for that.

In regards to Kate’s comment re: Denise;s PR assistant, who she “Personally knows” and yes Kate, I also know Charlie Sheen’s attorney’s, and they also had a hand in writing this. Go crawl back to your ignorant world.

This is all no surprise that Denise is being shown as a person who has compassion. First and utmost, the girl has a heart the size of Texas. Yes, she went threw a nasty divorce, while being pregnant with their second child. Has anyone really fact checked the charities this lady is involved in? Cancer, animal advocacy, and alot of her money is donated to these causes. Remeber also, when she married Charlie, he was clean and sober for years at that time. Everyone has a past. It is about time that the “real Denise” is shown in true light. And yes, it is a private matter with two little girls involved. I applaud her for being the Mom Warrior she is in protecting these girls. But again, it is no surprise!

Heres the thing..first with regards to her GMA comment about no adult film star will be babysitting their kids…well thats all fine and well but i am wondering…does Charlie watch them? is he allowed to have them?? The reason i ask is NOT because i am insinuating that he would ever harm his children in any way physically, because I AM NOT..However the emotional destruction that he does to them every day may not be evident now..but the fact that these little girls, Denises daughters will be women someday. In my opinion not only will they have to live with the knowledge that their father has zero regards to women as human beings at all, but they wlll be slapped in the face with the harsh realization that their mother, by rushing to his side and making excuses for him is passive to a fault about this.. He sees woman as an object for sexual pleasure, both directly and indirectly..his obsession with prostitutes, porn and the exploitation of women speaks volumes of his opinion of a womens worth. Did he, or Denise forget these babies will be women someday? Im sorry but its a fact that this will do its share of damage to these children.It will manifest itself, just how remains to be seen. There is a fine line between taking “the high road” , and just being ignorant. she is crossing that line. Im failing to see where all this praise is warranted for her support of him..Hesd a fiend,a sexual deviant, a drug addict who refuses to get help, an abuser of women, has shot a woman, beats them and still acts like a spoiled 10 year old.He has more than most men can dare to dream of and yet…it isnt enough…and thru all of this, Denise Richards rushes to his side. Nice…not a hater, a realistt

Your article is dead on. Denise has taken the high road to her credit. Fame is not always what it’s cracked up to be and despite all the glamour, can be a very hard road to travel. Denise is admirably facing the challenge and the responsibilities before her IMO.

She has only recently kept her mouth shut, AFTER years of receiving negative attention for putting their daughters on her dreadful reality TV show, and making their private divorce documents public. Her children will have plenty to write about in their own Mommy Dearest biographies about their not so dear Mommy.

She is a bit more complicated than this- she is taking the high road indeed regarding Charlie Sheen but then she appears on Howard Stern talking about her favourite sexual positions which is not exactly something that shields her daughter’s from negative attention. That contradiction truly confuses me- if she can be so mature and sensible in one instance, why not overall?