I’m not a big Family Guy fan, its sense of humour rarely amuses me. On the flipside, I do like Massachusetts accents and comedy songs about weather. Both of which were present in the trailer, so I decided to give Ted a shot. The premise is pretty genius, I can’t believe no one thought to make a movie based around it now. What happens after that magical Christmas wish movie? Apparently, what comes after is a load of mediocre jokes and swearing. Because that’s funny, right?

While there were a few well-placed lines that managed to drag a smile out of me, on the whole Ted was consistently unfunny. Some scenes were incredible to look at, one driving scene in particular, but if you’ve not got the funny in your comedy, then you basically a failure. Ted is an extended episode of any of the Macfarlane shows, it follows all the same themes, has all the same characters, and even includes the flashback jokes. I’m sure I’m not the first to point out that the “man-child with talking animal friend and hot disapproving lady” seems to be a regular basis for all of his media. The dude is more formulaic that a Dick Wolf police procedural.

My real problem with Ted wasn’t the lack of anything actually funny, it wasn’t the tired reuse of all Macfarlane’s template, it was the fact that they didn’t have the courage to just make the references and leave it at that. An Indiana Jones reference? The Indiana Jones music plays. Amusing cameo by Hollywood pretty boy? Say he looks like who he actually is. It goes on like this for the entire damned movie. It’s not big, and it’s definitely not clever. You’re one step away from Scary Movie 15. Not cool.

While the movie has some heart, the bottom line is Ted is predictable and not funny. There is a clear message behind the movie; Grow the fuck up. I don’t see with Seth Macfarlane gets to say that while making the same old childish jokes like he is stuck on some induction loop or something,