I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, “I’m different.” If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand.

My journey of self-discovery and self-acknowledgement began in my hometown of Los Angeles and has taken me through two state high school championships, the NCAA Final Four and the Elite Eight, and nine playoffs in 12 NBA seasons.

Back in the day, gay people found one another through a kind of underground GPS. Word would get around that there was a party at a private home, and when you arrived, the place would be packed. It was fun, but times have changed.

A robust marriage-equality movement has brought same-sex marriage to nine states and the District of Columbia. Though our sister states in the Tri-State area—Connecticut and New York—have legalized same-sex marriage, our own state lags behind.

That puts the focus on New Jersey—and Hudson County’s gay community in particular—which is right across the river from New York’s. On October 31, 2011, Nancy Caamaño, executive director, Hudson Pride Connections Center, stepped down. She had served the organization—at 32 Jones St. in Journal Square—in various capacities since 2006. At that time, Board Treasurer Jonathan Lucas stepped in as interim executive director.

Enter W. Jeffrey Campbell, who came all the way from Houston to take the helm of the center, which serves the needs of the LGBT community in Hudson County. How did Campbell end up in Hudson County? His partner was working in higher education in New Jersey, so it made sense for Campbell to become a “trailing spouse.”