Keeping Up Appearances s02e04 Episode Script

Hyacinth Tees Off

( theme music playing )
- Hyacinth: YOU SHOULD
HAVE TURNED LEFT.
- Richard: I DID TURN LEFT.
I DISTINCTLY
TOLD YOU TO TURN LEFT.
THAT'S WHY I TURNED LEFT.
I'M NO FOOL.
IT'S EASIER TO BE LOS THAN DISOBEDIENT.
RICHARD.
I HOPE THE ENTIRE WEEKEND
ISN'T GOING TO BE
SPOILED BY YOUR
REBELLIOUS MANNER.
REBELLIOUS?
IT'S HARDLY "MUTINY
ON THE BOUNTY."
DON'T BE SILLY,
DEAR.
AH
YOU SEE.
I KNEW IT WAS LEFT.
I NEVER DOUBTED I FOR A MOMENT.
IT'S SO LONG
SINCE I'VE PLAYED GOLF.
HMM?
I SAID IT'S SO LONG
SINCE I'VE PLAYED GOLF.
I HOPE YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO LE THE MAJOR DOWN.
IT'S VERY KIND
OF THE MAJOR
AND HIS WIFE
TO SUGGES THAT WE JOIN THEM
FOR THE WEEKEND.
IT MEANS
THAT WE'RE SOCIALLY
UPWARDLY MOBILE.
UNTIL HE SEES
HOW I PLAY GOLF.
HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
PRACTICING?
I DON'T LIKE GOLF!
THAT'S VERY SELFISH.
LOOK, THERE'S THE MAJOR'S
LITTLE TWO-SEATER.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
A TRIFLE ODD
ABOUT ELDERLY MEN
IN TWO-SEATERS?
I WOULDN'T CALL
THE MAJOR ELDERLY.
- HE'S OUR AGE.
- THANK YOU, RICHARD.
I CAN SEE IT'S GOING TO BE
A MEMORABLE WEEKEND.
ALL I MEANT WAS--
IS WE'RE NOT GETTING
ANY YOUNGER.
KEEP YOUR VOICE
DOWN, DEAR.
I SHOULD PREFER I IF YOU-- AH!
YOU WILL BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
IT'S A PAR OF A VERY EXPENSIVE
MATCHING SET.
YES, MADAM.
OH, YES,
I LIKE THE AMBIENCE.
IT'S MORE BARONIAL
THAN HOTEL.
THE MAJOR'S WIFE AND I
WILL BE QUITE HAPPY HERE.
- Man: GOOD MORNING.
- Richard: MORNING.
RING THE BELL.
CAN I HELP YOU?
MR. AND MRS.
RICHARD BOUQUET.
WE HAVE
A RESERVATION.
WHAT WAS THE NAME
AGAIN, PLEASE.
BOUQUET.
THAT'S SPELLED
B-U-C-K-E-T.
OH, BUCKET!
OH, YES.
WE HAVE A BUCKET.
PRONOUNCED
"BOUQUET,"DEAR.
IF YOU WOULD JUS FILL IN THE FORM,
PLEASE.
DO BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
DO BE CAREFUL
WITH THE LUGGAGE.
IT'S PART OF A VERY
EXPENSIVE MATCHING SET.
WHAT DOES
SHE THINK IT IS,
ALLIGATOR?
ALLIGATOR?
FOR HER THAT WOULD BE
A MATCHING SET.
KINDLY INFORM THE MAJOR
AND MRS. WILTON SMYTHE
THAT WE HAVE ARRIVED.
- THE MAJOR AND MRS. SMYTHE?
- YES. THEY'RE FRIENDS.
WE'RE HERE FOR A WEEKEND
BREAK TOGETHER.
I'M AFRAID THE MAJOR
IS HERE ALONE.
- OH?
- HE'S NOT TRAVELING
WITH HIS WIFE.
THAT'S STRANGE.
I DO HOPE SHE'S
NOT ILL, DEAR.
STILL,
I'M SURE IF SHE IS
THEY'RE MEDICALLY
VERY WELL COVERED.
- THERE WE ARE, MADAM.
- THANK YOU.
OH, YES.
IT'S QUITE NICE.
I'LL PUT THE LUGGAGE
OVER THERE, SIR.
FINE, FINE.
WE ALMOST GOT LOS AS WE NEARED THE HOTEL.
WILL THERE BE
ANYTHING ELSE, SIR?
- NO THANKS.
- THERE'S YOUR KEY.
- THANK YOU.
- OOH, THANK YOU, SIR.
AND--
I HOPE YOU HAVE
A PLEASANT STAY.
( Hyacinth sighs )
POOR MAJOR.
ALL ALONE.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO WHILE WE'RE GOLFING?
I SHALL LOUNGE
AND LUXURIATE
AND READ MY DAME
BARBARA CARTLAND
AND GET SOMEBODY
UP HERE TO WIPE
THESE WINDOWS.
AND DON'T FORGET THE KEY,
WILL YOU, DEAR? OH.
laughing )
SNAP THAT SUSPENDER!
( woman guffaws )
KEEP JOKING.
( laughter continues )
DOESN'T SOUND
AS IF HE'S HERE
FOR THE GOLF EITHER.
( elevator rings )
RICHARD
LOOK IN THE REGISTER,
SEE WHO'S IN ROOM 210.
BUT WE MUSTN'T PRY.
HOW CAN I GIVE THEM
A DISAPPROVING LOOK
IF DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE?
GO ON.
SUPPOSE SOMEBODY COMES,
I'LL FEEL LIKE SHULTZ
THE MASTER SPY.
YOU ARE LOOKING
FOR THE MAJOR'S ROOM.
IF, WHILE YOU ARE LOOKING
FOR THE MAJOR'S ROOM,
YOUR EYE HAPPENS TO NOTE
WHO IS IN ROOM 210--
NOW LET'S SEE!
WHAT ARE THE CULTURAL OPTIONS
FOR THE GOLFING WIDOW
THIS WEEKEND?
IF I MIGHT SUGGES ONE OPTION?
YOU COULD DO THE GOLFING
AND I'LL BE THE WIDOW.
NOW DON'T BE SILLY, DEAR.
YOU'LL ENJOY PLAYING
WITH THE MAJOR.
I MUST REMEMBER THAT.
WELL,
WHO'S IN ROOM 210?
( mumbling )
- PARDON?
- MR. AND MRS. SMITH.
NOW DON'T RAISE
YOUR VOICE!
OH, THIS IS BETTER.
THESE PEOPLE LOOK
MORE OUR SORT.
HOW CAN YOU TELL?
THEY'RE READING
FULL-SIZED NEWSPAPERS.
I WOULD NEVER STRIKE UP
A CONVERSATION WITH ANYBODY
WHO READS THE TABLOIDS.
NOW, YOU RUN ALONG
AND FIND THE MAJOR.
I SHALL BE PERFECTLY
ALL RIGHT HERE.
RIGHT.
- GOOD MORNING.
- GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
- MORNING.
- MORNING.
( chair creaks )
( sniffs )
( sniffs )
GOOD MORNING.
LOVELY DAY.
I THOUGHT MY HUSBAND
WOULD HAVE BEEN BACK
BY NOW.
HE'S GONE OFF
TO FETCH HIS FRIEND,
THE MAJOR.
THEY'RE GOLFING
TOGETHER,
MY HUSBAND
AND THE MAJOR.
MY HUSBAND ALLOWS HIMSELF
OCCASIONAL BREAKS
FROM HIS ENORMOUS
RESPONSIBILITIES
WITH ONE OF THE LARGER
LOCAL AUTHORITIES.
THOUGH HE DOES GE A GREAT DEAL OF MENTAL
SATISFACTION
FROM THE KNOWLEDGE
THAT OUR SON, SHERIDAN,
IS DOING SO WELL
AT UNIVERSITY.
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG?
- SINCE YESTERDAY.
- OOH, A LONG WEEKEND.
- THAT'S NICE.
- IT WOULD'VE BEEN,
EXCEPT FOR THE NOISES
FROM ROOM 210.
OH MY GOODNESS, YES.
ROOM 210.
WE PASSED IT JUST NOW.
IT'S NOT WHAT ONE EXPECTS
FROM A FOUR-STAR HOTEL.
IF IT CONTINUES
I SHALL COMPLAIN.
THAT WON'T BE
NECESSARY.
I UNDERSTAND
THE COUPLE WILL BE
LEAVING THIS MORNING.
WELL, I SHOULD HOPE SO.
NOISES LIKE THA CAN BE VERY DISCONCERTING
FOR A CONSIDERATE HUSBAND
LIKE MINE.
MR. AND MRS. SMITH INDEED.
ONE WONDERS WHERE
THESE PEOPLE COME FROM.
( woman guffawing )
COME ON!
WILL YOU STOP IT?
I'VE RARELY KNOWN ANYONE
QUITE AS MISCHIEVOUS AS YOU.
NOW THAT'S
MY SHERIDAN AT 14
WITH HIS MUSIC DIPLOMA.
AND THIS IS THE HOUSE
WE LIVED IN THEN.
OF COURSE WE'VE MOVED
TO A MUCH LARGER ONE NOW
IN A VERY EXCLUSIVE AREA.
RICHARD LOVES TO GARDEN.
HE LOVES TO GARDEN
WHEN HE'S NOT GOLFING
WITH THE MAJOR.
NOT THAT HE ONLY PLAYS
WITH MAJORS, OF COURSE.
AFTER ALL, WE'RE DEMOCRATIC
TO THE CORE.
BUT THEN NATURALLY ONE
PREFERS ONE'S OWN KIND.
OH!
HERE'S MY SHERIDAN SHRIMPING
WITH HIS DADDY IN 1979.
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
AH, THERE YOU ARE,
BUCKET!
ACTUALLY, MAJOR,
IT'S PRONOUNCED--
- WHAT?
- NOTHING, NOTHING.
- LOOK, ABOUT THE GOLF.
- YES, THE GOLF.
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T MAKE IT.
I'VE GOT THIS DAMNED
DICKEY LEG.
THERE'S STILL SOME
POXY FOREIGN LEAD IN IT,
PLAYS ME OFF
OCCASIONALLY.
I HAVE TO THRASH
THE DAMNED THING,
YOU KNOW.
NOW, ABOUT THIS GOLF.
I'VE ARRANGED
FOR YOU TO HAVE A ROUND
WITH PORKY HOOTEN.
NICE FELLOW.
HE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU
AT THE CLUBHOUSE.
- YOU'VE GOT THE NAME?
- UH, PORKY HOOTEN?
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'LL LIKE OLD PORKY.
JUST KEEP AN EYE
ON HIS SCORING,
THAT'S ALL.
I'M REALLY NOT BOTHERED
ABOUT THE GOLF.
NOT BOTHERED?
DON'T SAY THA OUT LOUD,
NOT AROUND HERE.
YOU'LL ENJOY I WITH PORKY.
TAKE A HIP FLASK
WITH YOU.
HE LIKES A PARTNER
TO HAVE A HIP FLASK.
OFF YOU GO NOW!
- PORKY'S WAITING
- I HAVEN'T GO A HIP FLASK.
SHOVE A BOTTLE
IN YOUR BAG, OLD BOY.
CHOP CHOP!
GOLF?
YOUR ROSE DIDN' TAKE ANY CLUBS.
I DON'T THINK
SHE'D NEED ANY CLUBS.
LOOKS A BIT PRICEY.
SHE'S NOT PAYING,
IS SHE?
DO YOU THINK WE'LL HAVE TIME
FOR A BEVY BEFORE WE TAKE
HER HOME?
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.
IT'S A HOTEL.
IT SAYS, "OPEN
TO NONRESIDENTS."
JUST ONE BEVY ON ACCOUN THAT I'M DRIVING.
UNLESS YOUR ROSE
IS GONNA DRIVE.
AND THEN
I COULD HAVE A FEW.
YOU'LL PROBABLY HAVE
TO PUT ON A JACKET.
RUBBISH.
HAVE YOU SEEN
WHAT GOLFERS WEAR?
IT'S ANYTHING GOES
IN GOLFING WEAR.
( bell rings )
GOOD MORNING.
AH, MRS. BUCKET--
MRS. BOUQUET,
CAN I HELP YOU?
I WISH THE TOWELS
IN MY ROOM
- TO BE REPLACED, PLEASE.
- IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?
YOUR TOWELS ARE RATHER
HARD AND NAUGHTY, YOU SEE.
POSSIBLY NOT FOR THOSE
OF COARSER SKIN,
BUT IF I DRIED
MYSELF ON THEM
I'D PROBABLY
LOSE AN ENTIRE LAYER
OF MY EPIDERMIS.
I SHOULD APPRECIATE I IF YOU COULD FIND ME
SOMETHING SOFTER.
- CERTAINLY, MADAM.
- THIS IS NOT JUST A WHIM.
I HAVE AN UNBLEMISHED
REPUTATION AT HOME
FOR THE QUALITY
OF MY BATHROOM LINEN.
I'M SURE YOU HAVE,
MADAM.
IT IS ONE OF THE ATTRACTIONS
OF MY CANDLELIGHT SUPPERS
THAT OUR GUESTS ARE ABLE
TO PEEK AT THE QUALITY
OF MY BATHROOM LINEN.
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN
DO FOR YOU, MRS.--
GOOD.
AND IF AT THE SAME TIME,
YOU COULD GET SOMEBODY UP THERE
TO WIPE THE WINDOW IN MY ROOM?
IT LOOKS AS THOUGH SOMETHING'S
BEEN SQUASHED ON IT.
WE'LL SEE TO THAT,
MRS. BOUQUET.
THANK YOU, DEAR.
I DO LIKE THINGS
TO BE JUST SO.
IT'S NOT THA I'M FUSSY, OF COURSE.
FIND A BLOKE
HER TO PLACES LIKE THIS?
IF I HADN'T STAYED
FAITHFUL
MAYBE I COULD HAVE FOUND
A BLOKE WHO COULD AFFORD
TO BRING ME
TO PLACES LIKE THIS.
NO.
I BET IT NEEDS MORE
THAN JUST BEING UNFAITHFUL.
IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE
THAT MAKES YOU THINK MAYBE
YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD A SHAVE.
I THINK YOU SHOULD.
I THINK YOU SHOULD
HAVE HAD A SHAVE.
ON THE OTHER HAND,
THE THING IS TO ACT NATURAL.
BE YOURSELF,
ALWAYS BE YOURSELF.
IF PEOPLE CAN'T PENETRATE
UNIMPORTANT SURFACE ISSUES
THEY'RE NEVER GONNA
APPRECIATE YOUR FUNDAMENTAL
QUALITIES ANYWAY.
WHAT FUNDAMENTAL QUALITIES?
I'M CALM IN A CRISIS.
THAT'S A FUNDAMENTAL
QUALITY.
ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE
TOO BONE IDLE TO RUSH ABOU IN A PANIC.
WELL, ARE WE GOING IN,
OR NOT?!
I WANNA FINISH
MY CIGGY.
( sighs )
OH, I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO ASK YOU.
IS YOUR SKIN
OF A SENSITIVE NATURE?
ARE YOU SATISFIED
WITH THE QUALITY
OF THE BATHROOM LINEN HERE?
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO ORGANIZE SOFTER TOWELS
FOR YOU?
ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST GOING
FOR A WALK AROUND THE GARDEN.
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
THE GARDEN.
WE OFTEN HAVE A LOOK
AROUND THE GROUNDS.
SO, PERHAPS
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
WHAT A SHAME,
JUST AS WE WERE BEGINNING
TO ENJOY OURSELVES.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHY DON'T I COME
WITH YOU?
NO.
NO.
THERE'S NO NEED
TO INTERRUPT YOUR PLANS.
BUT I SHOULD LOVE TO STROLL
AROUND THE GROUNDS WITH YOU.
- REALLY?
- OH YES.
TO ME, HORTICULTURE
AT ITS HIGHES IS LIKE MUSIC,
EXCEPT FOR THE MANURE
OF COURSE.
THE GROUNDS LOOKED LOVELY
FROM OUR BEDROOM WINDOW.
YOU MUST SHOW ME ALL
THE POINTS OF INTEREST.
ALL OF THEM?
WOULDN'T JUST A FEW--
I WOULDN' DREAM OF MISSING
A SINGLE ONE.
YOU MIGHT FIND I RATHER TIRING.
OH, IN THE APPRECIATION
OF NATURE YOU'LL FIND ME
TIRELESS.
IT'S A WELL-KNOWN FACT,
OF COURSE,
THAT THE LOVE OF A GARDEN
IS INDICATIVE OF ONE'S
SOCIAL STANDING,
AS I AM SURE YOU'LL AGREE.
I ALWAYS MAKE NOTES
OF COURSE.
I'LL MAKE SOME FOR YOU,
IF YOU LIKE?
CHANGE THE TOWELS NOW,
WHILE THERE'S NO ONE
IN THE ROOM.
BEFORE SHE FIND SOMETHING ELSE
TO SQUAWK ABOUT.
OH, YOU'VE NOT SEE HER YET?
LUCKY YOU.
OH, MRS. BOUQUET,
I'VE JUST ASKED
( woman giggling )
( gasps )
- ROSE!
- HYACINTH!
ROSE!
WE MUST SPEAK, ROSE!
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- AH, THE DELECTABLE
MRS. BUCKET!
NOTHING!
OH, MAJOR.
HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.
- I SAY,
LIVELY COUPLE IN THERE,
JUDGING BY THE NOISES-OFF.
- DO YOU KNOW
THESE PEOPLE?
- HARDLY.
- THOUGHT NOT.
- EXCUSE ME.
MIND YOURSELF, OLD CHAP.
YOU'LL TRIP SOMEBODY UP.
GET IN!
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GOLFING, MAJOR.
A SPOT OF BOTHER
WITH THE JOLLY OLD KNEE.
( sobbing )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I DON'T WISH TO DISCUSS THA WITH A PERFECT STRANGER.
RIFF-RAFF.
( screams )
RICHARD!
IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT,
ARE WE, OLD CHAP?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING
WITH THAT GIRL?
I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING
WITH HER.
I'M JUST ABOUT TO HAVE
A BATH BEFORE CHANGING,
- AND I SURPRISED HER.
- I'M NOT SURPRISED.
SCARED HER WITLESS,
OLD BOY.
I WAS ABOUT TO INVITE
YOUR GOOD LADY FOR A DRINK.
YES, IT'S VERY KIND
OF YOU, MAJOR.
I COULD DO WITH A DRINK.
BUT NOT DOWNSTAIRS,
THERE ARE TOO MANY
STRANGE PEOPLE ABOUT.
I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.
I'LL MEET YOU
IN THE CAR PARK
IN 10 MINUTES.
( stammering )
YES. I'LL TRY.
RICHARD.
ONSLOW IS HERE.
- WHY IS ONSLOW HERE?
- BECAUSE ROSE IS HERE.
- HE'S COME TO TAKE HER HOME.
- HAS ROSE BEEN STAYING HERE?
IN ROOM 210.
I MUST KEEP THEM AWAY
FROM THE MAJOR.
THEY'LL ONLY MAKE FUN
OF HIS LEG.
PERSONALLY, I'D RATHER BE
WITH ONSLOW THAN GOING GOLFING.
THE MAJOR'S BOOKED ME
WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER.
SOMEBODY CALLED
PORKY HOOTEN.
PORKY HOOTEN?
OH, THAT'S VERY
PUBLIC SCHOOL.
PORKY HOOTEN.
YOU MUST WEAR SOMETHING
STRIKING TO MAKE
AN IMPRESSION.
- I WAS GOING TO WEAR--
- I'LL ADVISE YOU
WHAT TO WEAR.
THIS MAN IS PROBABLY
CONNECTED CLOSELY
WITH THE ARISTOCRACY.
HE MAY EVEN HAVE A TITLE.
THEY DO, YOU KNOW,
WITH NAMES LIKE PORKY HOOTEN.
THE ONE THING THEY
CAN'T BEAR IS TIMIDITY.
YOU MUST MAKE
EVERY EFFORT, RICHARD,
TO STUN HIM
WITH YOUR PERSONALITY.
OH, THERE SHE IS,
THE MINX.
COMING, MAJOR.
GOD, SHE'S ATTRACTIVE
IN A WEIRD SORT OF WAY.
WHAT'S OUR HYACINTH
DOING HERE?
I DON'T KNOW WHA SHE'S DOING HERE.
ALL I KNOW,
IS THAT I DAREN' BRING MY FRIEND
DOWNSTAIRS IN CASE
SHE'S LURKING ABOUT.
SHE'S LIABLE
TO CAUSE A SCENE.
THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU PUT THA ON ROOM 210?
VERY GOOD, MADAM.
WHAT'S THESE?
JUST A FEW BISCUITS, SIR.
I'VE GOT A LONG DRIVE.
WHAT ABOUT A BACON BUTTIE?
I'M AFRAID
AT THIS TIME OF DAY
IT'S JUST COFFEE
AND BISCUITS, SIR.
OH, CHUFF ME.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
LIVING ON ALL WEEKEND?
DON'T ASK.
I WONDER IF
IT'S SAFE TO BRING
MY FRIEND DOWNSTAIRS.
TO GET STUCK
INTO THESE BISCUITS?
ANOTHER ONE TO GE STUCK INTO ALL THESE
FIVE LITTLE BISCUITS?
OH, NICE.
( giggles )
READY FOR A LITTLE SPIN?
ANYWHERE, MAJOR.
JUST TAKE ME AWAY
FROM HERE.
OH!
( screams )
ALONE AT LAST.
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAJOR?
- CAN'T YOU TELL?
NOW, MAJOR--
HERE AND NOW,
IF YOU'D LIKE.
I MUST BE GETTING BACK.
OH!
LISTEN! I BELIEVE
I HEAR A LINNET.
GOD, YOU KNOW JUS HOW TO INFLAME A CHAP.
NO. UN-UN-UN
UN-UNHAND ME.
I'M A MEMBER
OF THE CHORAL SOCIETY.
MATURE, MATRONLY LADIES
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN MY PABULUM.
( horn blares )
( giggling )
( screams )
OOH!
( panting )
EVEN AS A YOUNG MAN,
MY COLLEAGUES WERE ALL
CHASING AFTER
( horn blares )
BUT I WAS CAPTIVATED
BY THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
SHE WAS BUILT TO LAST,
BUT I LOVED HER.
OO-OOH!
REALLY, YOU MUST STOP,
MAJOR.
IF MY SHERIDAN WERE HERE
HE'D BE APPALLED.
( horn blaring )
OO-OOH!
SHE REALLY DOES REMIND ME
OF THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
DAMN IT.
I'VE SCARED HER,
THE LITTLE FLOWER.
I LOVE YOU,
MRS. BUCKET!
IT'S "BOUQUET"!
COME BACK!
OW!
I THOUGHT YOUR ROSE
WAS READY.
SHE'S JUST SAYING
GOODBYE.
I HOPE IT'S NOT ONE
OF HER LONG GOODBYES.
IF IT'S ONE OF YOUR ROSE'S
LONG GOODBYES
WE'LL BE HERE
ALL AFTERNOON.
I REMEMBER WHEN WE
USED TO HAVE LONG GOODBYES,
BACK IN THE BUS SHELTER
IN GARIBALDI STREET.
- YOU REMEMBER!
- OF COURSE I REMEMBER.
WE MISSED THE FIZZING BUS,
DIDN'T WE?
WHAT THE HECK?
WHAT'S HAPPENED
TO OUR HYACINTH?
AT A ROUGH GUESS,
I'D SAY SHE'D BEEN
MAULED BY A BEAR.
IT'S NOT OFTEN
OUR HYACINTH LOOKS
LIKE SHE'S BEEN
MAULED BY A BEAR.
THAT'S MORE
LIKE ROSE.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT.
THEY ARE
BEAUTIFUL GROUNDS.
A LITTLE OVERGROWN IN PLACES.
( blows )
PBBBBB.
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
TYPICAL.
MEN EXPECT YOU TO LOOK
YOUR BEST AT EVERY MOMENT.
WE'RE GOING HOME,
RICHARD.
NO GOLF?
NO.
JUST WHEN YOU THINK
THERE'S NO COMPASSION
IN THE UNIVERSE.
DON'T BE SILLY,
RICHARD.
BUT WHY ARE WE GOING HOME?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
TO YOURSELF?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?
I'VE JUST BEEN MAKING
A FEW HORTICULTURAL NOTES.
POOR OLD MAJOR.
HE WAS WOUNDED.
SOMEWHERE EAS OF SUEZ I THINK.
I'M NOT SURPRISED.
THOUGH HE DID PAY ME
A GREAT COMPLIMENT.
APPARENTLY I REMIND HIM
OF THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE.
( theme music playing )