All Rise...

Editor's Note

The Charge

"Shut the holy f—k up, you tramp!"

The Case

A pair of trashy hipsters are cornered by a hobo, who gives one a comic book
called Nightmare Alley and knifes the other. Hipster #1 escapes and reads
the comic, only to be decapitated…just like the guy in the comic! None of
this has anything to do with the rest of the movie, wherein a bad Crypt Keeper
knockoff introduces an anthology of horror tales involving demon possessed toy
rats, zombie cowboys, serial killing dweebs and vengeful witches.

There are not enough drugs and alcohol in the world to make Nightmare
Alley a tolerable viewing experience. I knew this before going
in—after all, it is a Brain Damage Films release. If you aren't familiar
with Brain Damage Films, think a poor man's version of Troma but without all the
polish and intellect audiences have come to expect with the brand (think about
that real hard).

Let me make this real clear: Nightmare Alley is not a movie in any
real sense. I liken it more to a porn film, without the sex, nudity, narrative
depth, acting, and sense of direction. I don't want to get into any specifics
here, so imagine the worst porn you've ever seen, be it involving furies,
auto-erotic asphyxiation, or two girls committing ghastly acts upon one innocent
cup. I can say with no doubt in my mind—this is worse. Nightmare
Alley is likely more bigoted, misogynistic, and nausea inducing.

Every character is a stereotype, speaking purely in f-bombs and sexual
slurs. Every actor looks like they were brought in off of the streets. Every
story revels in sex and violence for the sake of sex and violence, yet the gore
effects are bush league and there is barely any sex in the film. There is
nothing remotely original or creative about the film. The camera does not move.
The music is canned metal, techno, and I assume whatever else was available
through public domain web sites. Even the title cards separating the shorts are
inconsistent. It all combines in a film so abysmal I can only compliment the
filmmakers on finishing it and getting it distributed. Then again, I'm not sure
if I'd want to make a movie that meets with Brain Damage films high
standards.

This is a DVD-R screener. The film is purported to be shot in
"Grind-o-Scope," utilizing vintage film stock that does sell the
film's Grindhouse angle; with lots of nicks, scratches, and gunk all over the
film stock. The transfer looks horrible because it's supposed to (one thing the
film does right). The stereo sound mix is similarly DIY, with low dialogue and
far too busy music tracks. Extras include a would-be funny interview with a
plastic rat (one of the film's many stars), trailers, and an art gallery.