Saturday, 25 February 2017

Why We Broke Up

Dear B.A.

Can you believe we’ve been together well over
two decades now? How time flies.

I’m not sure if you know this, but you were my
first.

It was with you that, as a nervous teenager on
my way to college, I did it for the first time—traveled on my own. It was so
exciting—I felt like a grown man. I can still hear your roar as we both took
off. Being inside you just felt right.

Ever since then, you’ve had my heart.

All these years later, we’ve marked milestones
with bronze, silver and gold. We’ve journeyed the world together and, you have
to admit, we’ve made some beautiful memories.

Remember taking me home to the premiere of my
first film? Remember how we entrusted you to take my 80-year-old grandmother on
her first ever trip to London? Remember how often I fought to be with you, even
when I was offered younger, more glamorous options? I’ve lost track of how many
glasses of champagne we shared before you tucked me into bed on our
overnighters. I’ve kept every card you’ve ever given me. I even linked my
finances with you and have a credit card that bears both our names.

But, lately, it just hasn’t been the same. I’ve
noticed you’ve started letting yourself go and losing interest. You’re looking
shabby, seem tired, indifferent—condescending, even. Over the last few years,
you gave me plenty of reasons to give up on us, but yet—call me a
sentimentalist—I chose to stay. Every relationship experiences some turbulence but
I was in it for the long haul and I thought this might just be a phase. Frankly,
I always felt we’d end up growing old together.

But, it appears I was more into you than you
were into me. I gave you my heart and, in return, you lost my luggage. You once
charmed me with your #VisitMum
and #FuelledByLove campaigns
and yet, thanks to you, my mum didn’t
get her last birthday present because you claim you “misplaced” the suitcase
that was carrying it home to her. Anyone else would have instantly dumped you
but I trusted in you and stood by you. And, as you know, we’ve taken no less
than four trips together, since then.

We all carry baggage and perhaps you thought I
needed to be relieved of some of mine. You’d lost my bags many times before but
somehow you always ended up scrambling around, mumbling a few excuses and eventually
returning them to me (although, often, distinctly worse for wear).

But this time is different.

This time the circumstances are suspicious and
unusual.

No short connection. No weather delay. No force
majeure. Just a piece of luggage sinisterly “disappearing” minutes after being checked
in and before being loaded onto the aircraft.

It’s been nearly ten months, you still haven’t
returned my possessions and seem inexplicably defensive whenever I ask for any
kind of information. You won’t take my calls, you ignore my messages, you refuse
to answer my questions.

What went wrong between us? Was it something I said?

You’ve always had a bit of a reputation but I stood
by you. “Not my B.A.”, I’d say when I heard people call you careless, arrogant,
and even racist. But now, you’ve gone and proved them all right. Travel
industry insiders have shared alarming statistics of your negligence, asking,
“What did you expect?” Friends and family have reached out with similar
accounts of loss and heartbreak that led to their own breakups with you. It
seems “losing” luggage is the one thing you’ve always done really well.

Silly me, I actually believed you when you assured
me you’d, pull
out all the stops if anything were to ever go wrong. But, instead, when the going got
tough, you chose to cower behind legal fine print, threw a few measly bucks my
way, blatantly lied to me, systematically misled me and aggressively stonewalled
my every query, in your attempt to cover up this incident and quickly close the
case.

I thought we didn’t have any secrets from each
other but you withheld a police report from me. And, when, after months of my
own efforts, I finally obtained it from you, I was horrified to see you’d filed
it with inaccurate and incomplete information. It’s almost as if you don’t want
the authorities to find out what really happened.

And that’s why we’re breaking up. On behalf of
everyone who’s ever loved you and been loyal to you and trusted you, I must ask—How
can you possibly think it’s OK to take us for granted and play fast and loose
with our possessions and our safety?

Because, ultimately, it’s not just about a stolen
bag and shameful customer service. If luggage can so easily be lifted out of your
supposedly “secure” system, like mine was—at
one of the most high-profile airports in the world—then it’s possibly also a much
deeper security concern.

If, down the line, an incident with more serious
consequences were to occur because of another episode like this, I would feel
morally responsible for not having let people know about such a critical
security flaw and your alarmingly murky system.

I hope anyone reading this, with plans of a relationship,
or even a one-off liaison with you, is now aware of the grave risks and
considers other, safer options.

I wish it didn’t have to end like this but I’m
moving on—I’ve started seeing other airlines.

You claim your motto is: "To Fly. To
Serve." I’d like to recommend a more accurate slogan: “To Fail. To Spurn."

50 comments:

I hear you. I've had similar experiences albeit always opened my door to a late arrival. Never had to close a door on a lost one. It is hard to say goodbye to such a stoic airline. Here's hoping they redeem themselves to you and make amends due.

Thank you!! I wasn't particularly happy about my BA experience although it wasn't quite as bad as yours. I was literally in the process of booking flights, choosing between BA & Jet. Reading this was enough for me to decide I'd be travelling Jet!!!

Jet not better. Ms Kritika dropped hot coffee on baby sleeping in bassinet on Lon Mum flight, 27 th June. No medical aid offered or any apology by any other crew member. Also lost luggage, which when found was delivered only after 2 days.

I once got a 5 minute lecture from a certain Libby in the crew about how long it takes her to load the service trolley and how difficult her life is. This was after I had asked for a glass of wine and it had not materialized 25 minutes later. And this was on Premium Economy. Fortunately i got upgraded on the return leg and they were a little more hospitable then :)

Such an entertaining and hilarious essay. "Being inside you felt so right"...I really thought you were referring to having your penis inside someone's vagina or anus..I could not believe it. Imagine my surprise when I realized you were talking about being inside a plane, and not inside a vagina or asshole.

Well, being as interested as I am in Rahul Khanna's life, I rolled myself a cigarette, poured some wine and switched off the lights to get some insight in his love life and what a shocker this has turned out to be. Sir, only you could sculpt a story like this and I am more than thankful, not that I travel a lot but it's always nice to be aware of who not to fall for. BA, you broke two hearts and if you're in love with his colognes, just ask for it.

Second, I felt quite inspired to share my own BA story after accidentally coming across this superb piece. The year must have been '95, around Christmas. I was an eager college student in the States, and was excitedly heading back home to Calcutta. After the, luckily, uneventful flight from Boston to London, and a long wait at the Airport, we were ready to take off to Delhi (and then get linked to Calcutta after a local airline transfer). The wait in the BA plane, after we had embarked, seemed endless. Long enough for me to make friends with the nun who was my fellow passenger in the next seat. Another passenger was very anxiously awaiting his wedding ceremony, he seemed chatty and jittery all at once. The hour's wait turned to two and longer; we were still waiting for the weather to clear. Or that seemed to be the excuse for being stranded on the tarmac. Finally, the plane took off and eventually the captain started speaking: 'there has been a change of destination, unfortunately, and this flight will not be flying to Delhi'. There was a collected gasp among passengers, we were too numb to respond in complete sentences. 'We shall be proceeding to Cyprus,' the captain decided. From the calm demeanor of the crew I realised this was not a hijack, and my heart beat came back to normal eventually. A further five hours of uncertainty and we finally arrived at some airport. I distinctly remember having the feeling that the aircraft dumped a whole lot of hi octane fuel into the crystal blue waters of the mediterranean before landing. Luckily I was a mathematics student and could therefore read Greek letters. Yes, we had arrived at an airport (alpha, iota, rho, pi, omega, rho, tau, equals 'airport' I guess). Thereafter, the passengers were left to scramble among themselves. There seemed to be no overseer; and before long we were assembled at some hotel lobby screaming to take turns to make phonecalls home (no cell phones in those days). No one complained too much eventually, (a) because we were a plane full of Indians - and no one cared about us (as opposed to a plane full of Americans who who would have undoubtedly sued. And (b) because we Indians got to see Larnaca (the capital of cyprus) - albeit through an emergency landing. No one cared about what happened to the passengers once we landed at Delhi, with tales to tell. Of course, the bridegroom had missed his wedding. And the nun was admonished by the hoity toity stewardess for not knowing the difference between sparking water and champagne. My mother nearly fainted after she was told by the local BA staff that the plane had landed in Larkana (in Pakistan!) - a small spelling adjustment from 'Larnaca' the capital of Cyprus! So BA had got away with it again. It's been 22 years. I now live in India but my on off relationship with BA continues. Perhaps it is time to indeed change the slogan. "To Fail. And to Spurn"

Wow....so beautifully & smartly written...at first i thought u r writting about your x gf..but at the end it gave me a mild smile on my face...b'coz i can't imagine you as a heart broken fellow...but hats off to your skillfull writing..keep it up...u r so special...

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Relationships are fragile, It can break anyway no matter how carefull you are. It doesnt mean that you have to stop loving just because you know one day it gonna end. When you cant guarantee how long you will live, how you want to be certain about a relationship. Just breath and love with all your heart, who know what will bring tomorrow