Random thoughts from a few cantankerous American physicians. All contributors are board certified. Various specialties are represented here. I do not know where this will lead but hope it will at least be an enjoyable read. All of the names mentioned in this blog are pseudonyms, the ages have been changed, and in half the cases the gender as well. All photographs are published with patient consent or are digitally altered to preserve anonymity. Trust us, we're doctors.

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Sunday, March 09, 2008

Hi, everyone. I must start by letting you all know how flattered and honored I am to have been asked to contribute to the medical blog destined to someday change the world. Actually, if it only helps me change my boxers every day, it will be worthwhile. 911DOC is right, my little 'issue' I contracted in Vegas years ago is now only a painful, stinging, fluid-filled, vesicular, erythematous memory.

So, what to know about me? I love hockey. Hockey is real. Hockey has somehow remained a game of honor, blood, guts, and refuses to bow down to the politically-correct, granola-chewing, pablum-puking, every-kid-gets-a-participation-trophy-insisting, there-are-no-winners-or-losers-in-youth-sports-or-in-life-eschewing, left-wing jackasses that threaten to ruin youth sports, and, life in general.

Case in point - my 8-year old son has a big mite hockey game against their rivals with whom they practice every week. One kid on the other team is amazing (the next Mormon Wayne Gretzky?). The kids on our team are psyched all week...can't stop talking about the big game. My son has a hard time sleeping on Friday night before the game. I love it. COMPETITION!

Unfortunately, we play great, but lose in the last minute 4-3. As the parents from our team meet the kids coming off the ice, offering hugs and words of encouragement to the disappointed team, our coach's wife sees his son and they have the following conversation:

Coach's son: Mom, guess what? One of their goals was sort of cheap, so it's really a tie!!

Coach's wife: No you didn't, you lost.

Coach's son: No, really. Us kids think we kicked the puck into our own net. That's cheap. It should be a tie.

Coach's wife: Don't do this. They beat you 4 to 3. You played great, but you lost the game.

Coach's son: No, don't you think it's more fair to call it 3 to 3 since we sort of helped them score?

Coach's wife: Fair? No. Fair is giving them credit for beating you. They had 4 goals, you had 3.

Coach's son: But, but, but...

Coach's wife: If you don't stop this crap I am going to make you go into their locker-room and shake each one of their hands and congratulate them for beating you 4 to 3. Are we clear?

Coach's son: Yes, mom.

The rest of the parents stood and watched in awe - full of pride and hope that we as parents CAN help children learn that life will always challenge us with ups, downs, victories, defeats, joy, sorrow, achievement, and disappointment. I learned so many more lessons from losing games and disappointing moments in my childhood than all the 0-0 soccer ties that occur in Seattle every day could possibly accomplish. Let's take back youth sports - let's keep a fucking score. Let's let kids play hard, sweat, cry, ache, smile, laugh, and learn to look the opponent in the eye at the end of the game and congratulate them regardless of who won. We all did and we turned out OK, didn't we? Don't answer that question.

23 comments:

Hockey has somehow remained a game of honor, blood, guts, and refuses to bow down to the politically-correct, granola-chewing, pablum-puking, every-kid-gets-a-participation-trophy-insisting, there-are-no-winners-or-losers-in-youth-sports-or-in-life-eschewing, left-wing jackasses that threaten to ruin youth sports, and, life in general.

I agree. Youth sports are supposed to be a springboard into the real world of competion, winners, losers, and experiencing the benefit of hard work and practice. I don't remember any of this "no keeping score" crap.

HOORAH! blessed sanity. welcome good friend. my four year old played soccer last year in a 'we don't keep score' league. all the kids knew the exact score after every game and knew whether they won or lost. if you are still pissing razor blades go see the 'cat, he can hook you up with some rocephin, doxy, and pyridium. careful though, his urethral swab technique is nothing if not thorough and deep.

Damn, you had to to you mentioned the Red Wings. (Die hard Flyers fan here)

I totally agree with your post. It is amazing how this politically correct craps seeps into everything. Kids today have no idea how to be a good loser, because they win all the time. And this is supposed to be helpful how??

...refuses to bow down to the politically-correct, granola-chewing, pablum-puking, every-kid-gets-a-participation-trophy-insisting, there-are-no-winners-or-losers-in-youth-sports-or-in-life-eschewing, left-wing jackasses that threaten to ruin youth sports, and, life in general.

Dammit, Lofty, you're simply going to have to stop beating around the bush if you want to play with this crowd. Say it like it is, man!

Terrific post Lofty, and excellent photo as well! As a Capitals fan it pains me that you're a Wings supporter, but I can hardly blame you, they're a helluva team.

@frank: offsides is when a player crosses the blue line before the puck crosses the blue line. Basically the puck should be the first thing across the blue line before any offensive players enter the zone.

I was getting all weepy reading your paean to the great sport of Hockey until I remembered those NHL fucksticks imposed the "you- get-points-even-when-you-lose-if-it-was-a-tie-at-the-end-of-regulation-bullshit". There are politically correct / money grubbing fucks that run that show too.

The only real sports are combat sports, endurance sports and caber-tossing.

Glad to have you on board, person sort of named after angelina and brad's stolen baby.

Prize to blogger who can figure out what 'Lofty Zahari' represents. Etotheipi rode the short bus to school in Massachusetts. Don't expect him to get it. Thanks for the support everyone. I am just getting started.

As a Canadian, I'm pleased to see that there are Americans who are recognizing the goodness of our national sport, hockey.

I take martial arts (jujitsu). Arriving a bit early for my class, I was watching the Kung-Fu class that uses our space also. I noticed two rather young (4-6 year old) children not participating in their class. One was in one corner of the room; the other was in the corner diametrically opposite.

Both kids seemed, well, a bit unmotivated. It appears that they had been goofing around instead of obeying their instructors. I watched the instructor go to the kid in the corner most easily visible to me and saw him give the kid mild heck and then ask the kid why he had been fooling around and asking him if he really wanted to be in the class. He then got the kid to do an excercise involving learning how to kick. He repeated the process with the other kid.

I thought that perhaps he had been a bit hard on the kids, as, well, kids will be kids. After some reflection, it occurred to me that he had handled the situation very well. Martial arts are about discipline and self-control, as well as learning how to beat the crap out of your opponent.

It occurred to me that the kids were receiving a valuable lesson, earlier in life than is the case for most children. Life is all about discipline and self-control, and these kids were getting a lesson in this fact, whether they knew or liked it or not.

In the real world, there are winners and losers, and being a winner requires effort and sacrifice. Too bad this lesson isn't being taught to more children.