Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Just saying the word makes me tired.There is nothing nocturnal about me.Our regimented evening routine kicks off
around 5 or 5:30 with dinner.We try to eat
dinner together most nights during the week; I think it’s important to have
this family time each day.I’m
constantly struggling to take part in eating when everyone else does.You’ll often find me standing around the
island inhaling my food before it gets cold, anticipating their next need—I
trust this will get better in time.Life
raising small kids makes a hot uninterrupted meal at the top of my wish list.

I’m on the fast track by 6, powering through my least
favorite time of the day.I am not a fan
of night time routine and need to figure out how to find the joy in this time
together.If I didn’t get up so early, I
think I’d have a chance but for now I look forward to the Fall when our days get
shorter.After we finish dinner and
cleanup around 5:45 or 6, we make a quick transition upstairs for bath, books
and bed.We conquer and divide, Matt and
Ava go one direction, Carson and I go another.

When everyone is clean, PJ’s on and teeth brushed (myself
included), we meet in our room or the playroom for our final minutes together
before bed.At this point, I’m beckoning
the moment when I can collapse into bed and snuggle up to a good book that is
sure to put me asleep in two minutes flat.

Around 7:30, Matt and Ava go into her room to play a game
and read, while Carson and I head into his room.Carson just recently started sitting still
long enough to let me read to him, I love it. It’s my favorite part of our nighttime
routine.Right now, he loves “Brown
Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” and anything with trains, planes and automobiles.Carson is usually ready for bed around 8.

My poor husband.Matt
likes to stay awake until at least 10 and most days this results in a lonely
evening for him.I have the best of intentions to stay awake
before he finishes putting Ava to bed, but fail most nights.By 8:45 (at the latest) he finds me mouth
open and eyes closed.

I want to remember what it was like getting to
know them. I want to
share the story of my
experience and perspective with them. Leaving a
successful career to
be at home wasn't easy for me. Until I went back
to
work, I needed something else.
During a trying first
year of motherhood, I started
writing to spend more
time focusing on what was good.
I found comfort and company in a lonely space, a voice inside wanting to
be heard. Now, I write to escape from
the busyness of
everyday life. I'm on a quest to learn something
worth teaching.