Month: March 2018

God sincerely wants us to share with Him all of our burdens, concerns and cares. He patiently waits with open arms to take us and shelter us in His love.

“I’m lost in my own silent world; I wish I could simply tell someone what is going on in my head. I wish I could let people know the fears I face each day. My doubt and worries overshadow any peace I may have. My struggles, my hurts, and my pain are always before me. I desperately wish I could share with someone how I feel.” These are the thoughts we often feel whether we suffer from PTSD, anxiety, self-doubt or any numerous reasons that cause us to remain silent. There are so many times we wish we could just open up and share our doubts, struggles, despair, and fears. But we keep them to ourselves; too scared to share them with anyone, lest we are ridiculed, mocked, dismissed or attacked for the way we feel. How desperately lonely it is to live a life trapped inside our pain and be silent to all who wish to help bear our struggles. How agonizing it is to live feeling as though no one cares about our feelings.

So what is it that we can do to find relief?

How do we find the courage to step out and open our hearts to others and share the pain we suffer deep inside? In Psalms 62 King David is facing a rebellion that is being led by his son Absalom. David’s counselors and advisers have turned against him. The people have also turned against David and support the rebellion. David flees the city of Jerusalem with just a few loyal friends and family and hides in the hills. David is rejected and cast aside, he is no longer the ruling king and his son has usurped his power. What is David to do? Where does he go and to whom does he turn for help? Psalms 62:5-8 gives us the answer.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times you people; pour out your hearts to Him for God is our refuge.

These verses reveal to us the amazing perspective King David has, in the midst of his struggles, heartache, rebellion, lies, and conspiracies David finds rest. What an astonishing thought! How does one find rest in such dire circumstances? David finds rest in God who is his hope, his rock, his salvation and his fortress. How can this be? How does David not turn against God and declare He is unjust and vengeful? Yet instead of being hateful and angry with God, David states with all confidence that He will not be shaken. He is entirely and openly relying on God as his rock and refuge. How can David demonstrate such faith? At this point in David’s life, he has experienced the amazing hand of God in his life. David has experienced deliverance, forgiveness, rescue and found safety in the shadow of the Almighty. By this point in his life, he is able to say without a doubt that God is his refuge. Thus, he is able to advise us to trust God at all times and to pour out our hearts to Him, for He is our refuge.

We seek God’s emotional and spiritual safety, yet we never pour our hearts out to God.

I remember early on in our marriage, how desperately I wanted to share my struggles and doubts with my wife. I would wake up in the morning with all the intentions of talking with her about the way I was feeling. But when the opportunity presented itself instead of sharing, I would remain silent. I would argue with myself. Sometimes I would convince myself to say nothing and other times I would convince myself to talk with her about my feelings. I can still remember the hopelessness I felt when I desperately wanted to speak with her, yet somehow I could not even get a word out. I would tell myself “Do it now this is the best time, she is not doing anything.” But then I would reply to myself and say, “Just wait for 15-minutes then talk to her.” This would go on an entire day and by the time I went to bed, I still had not found the courage to talk with her. This is what we do with God; we go day after day withholding our pain and hurt from God. We seek His relief and seek the emotional and spiritual safety that He offers to us, yet we never pour out our hearts to God. We find ourselves trapped behind our fears and doubts and never take the step to cry out to God. How can we expect to pour out our most profound struggles, uncertainties, and pain to others if we cannot pour out our hearts to God?

God sincerely wants us to share with Him all of our burdens, concerns, and cares!

He patiently waits with open arms to take us and shelter us in His love, acceptance, forgiveness, and salvation. Crying out to God is the safest way to open our hearts and reveal our most profound struggles. For God is caring, loving, full of grace, one who gives peace and one who liberally pours out His mercy to all who seek Him. Once we learn how to pour out our hearts to God, it becomes so much easier to begin to share with others and to trust those around us. Pouring out our hearts to God gives us the courage to start sharing with others. We can start small and learn to trust. We can experience the relief that comes when we share with others, and they respond with compassion instead of conflict. Once I finally discovered I could share my deepest fears, heartaches, struggle, and doubts with my wife, I entered into an entirely new relationship with her. I now find comfort in her understand, her compassion and her encouragement and I no longer fear to share my heart with her. This is the relationship that God wants to have with you. He desires a relationship where you do not dread opening ourselves to Him, but you seek to share your struggle with Him daily. God wants to give you peace, comfort, and hope. He wants to be your shelter, your rock, your salvation and your refuge. The only thing that stops you is you yourself. Right, this minute you can call out to God and pour out your heart to Him, He will hear you and respond to your cry.

Chaplain Kevin Doll

While serving in Iraq in 2007 as an Army chaplain, I found myself facing the greatest spiritual and emotional crisis of my life. I was faced with the harsh reality of war and found myself unable to emotionally or spiritually cope with this reality. I found myself questioning my belief in God, my faith and myself as a chaplain, a Soldier and as a man. This blog recounts my struggle towards recovery and how God has led me to the calming of my storm. It is my prayer that my story may somehow touch others, so they too may experience God's healing and experience the calming of their storms.