#notokay

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💀 W H O L E A G A I N 👼
It hurts to be whole. To acknowledge I'm not okay. I am healing. I am hurting. I am afraid. I am wishing for the lightness I see to come forward again. The tunnel of dark as the weight increases on my heart. This path is hard at times. I feel the bells chime and alarms cry as I sit back and feel the pressure on my chest. Its there. Constant. Not ceasing. This cycle of job no home and home no job continues as I feel the impending coming quickly. I see the signals and feel the anger my peers send to me. It breaks me, buries me, but I am whole. A jigsaw in pieces but together in one burial ground. I am together, broken and fallen, making no sound. Knowing it will improve. Knowing it will change. To be the one crying in the corner as those enrage their upset my way. Its the message to move along and be trusting in God's way. I pray 'God pass the strength my way, you give all these lessons to show me things will always change'. Man, woman, straight, gay. I feel all the polarities, i am confused as I stray. But in those steps I am whole. I am all together, splintered but strong. An oak in the core. A challenge I do adore. To conquer as whole. An old soul fruitbowl with a few bruised bananas. The mask of a snake-charmer is how I got through days before, but it made life a chore, to feel and see the surface, to ignore the core. Yet now I am whole. In the depths of all. Closed remains my jaw. I speak less and feel more. The ones that feel me will give the opportunities of salvation. To reach the next destination. Its a strange feeling to be in, to be whole and broken, blossoming and rotten. Yet I am whole. New seeds grow in the past self's rotting, to replenish my soul for new love to arise. It shall be the patient prize. A feeling of new eyes meeting. Ceasing time. It will be sublime. Yet now I am whole. I am broken. And all shall come forward as I am embrace this moment. I am whole. I am feeling. All of me. That needs my attention. So I sit and be. Go to the depths. Deep breathes. This too shall pass. No more stepping barefoot on broken glass. This is the chance. To grow and feed next years plants.
#poem#wholeagain#notokay

TW: Child abuse
Instead of doing damage control, playing victim and disabling comments, how about you address this shit happening to the actual owner of "your" logo, @girlgangxoliverpool ? "Oh we don't condone bullying" yet you ignore anything your supporters are doing while you keep trying to spin a false narrative on what happened.
Let me help with that, by the way:
1) you stole a logo and added the minutest of adjustments
2) the owner @sugarbone found out and asked you not to use it
3) you and your friends and family acted high and mighty about it, claiming copyright and threatening legal action
4) social media caught on to your bullshit
5) you try to save face by claiming you were bullied and boohoo you need to rebrand, instead of professionally owning up to what you did in the first place
6) you're showing us how awful your corner of the world is by not only reacting to all of this the way you do, but also being two-faced as fuck by pretending to care about strong women, yet when one crosses your path you try to destroy her
Get real, stop pretending you care about any other woman then yourselves and get your act together. (Ps, last guy, you have daughters for fucks sake, how can you wish abuse on any other woman you twisted shit)
#artthieves#awful#bullying#notokay#fakepositivity#selfish#vile#girlgang#girlgangxo#girlpower#butnotreally

This is my “are you *ucking serious” face coupled with my “I can’t solve this” and “feel like a failure” face. Some teens broke into our backyard (we have a fenced in and locked slice of land) by breaking our gate in an attempt to steal my scooter. This also happened when we first moved in 2015 so we closed off the backyard and keep locked it up. This time, our neighbors saw the kids and called the police so all is well but I am so mad/angry/upset because I want to move and financially, we just can’t. This makes me feel like a failure and pretty desperate - I just want to feel safe. I got assaulted over a year ago less than a mile from home and still stress out when I leave the house - I deal with it pretty well or keep it inside but it’s exhausting to go through everyday. Now my own yard feels violated and it seems pathetic that we can’t move our family to a different neighborhood. I don’t like to run from my problems and wanting to move feels like that’s what I’m doing but, I can’t fix this. We hope to move in a couple years but right now, being trapped in a place where I feel unsafe cuts pretty deep. #notokay#baltimore#pissedoff#safetyfirst#feelingpathetic

I'm not okay and that is okay. You either are aware or your not that, I'm going through a separation. I'm not suppose to talk about it, I'm suppose to sugar coat it. When people ask why we separated I'm suppose to say we wanted to different things in life, which is true, to a degree. I'm not about to get into details, so if that's why your reading this, fuck right off. I'm writing this because even though I smile, although I seem like I'm holding it together, I'm a hot mess and that's okay.
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep, sometimes I get super angry or frustrated, I procrastinate on simple tasks, I can't control my shaking hands or my mind constantly races.
Some people have told me I seem to have the easy end of my separation, like nothing is bothering me because I often smile or have a positive outlook on life.
It's perfectly fine to feel all the emotions I'm feeling and still not be okay or sometimes be perfectly okay. I'm healing, I'm grieving, I suffered a loss. And that is okay. So when my Instagram or Facebook looks happy and full of life, remember it's just social media and I'm still human.

The cutting down of the forest for palm oil plantations isn’t just affecting humans. Thousands of animals are killed each and every year from the slash and burn of the forest
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Some local Politicians provide illegal permits and concessions to palm oil companies in exchange for commissions, which are often channeled into reelection campaigns #notokay#stoppalmoilplantations