Saturday, January 7, 2012

"Only Ron Paul.....Ron Paul Is the Only....."

When one chooses to waste his valuable time on God's green (and not to mention cooling) earth by speaking to a Paultard, without fail, the following words will be spoken or typed:

"Only Ron Paul....."

"Ron Paul is the only....."

The above lines are usually followed with an absurd claim, like "Only Ron Paul understands the Constitution!" or "Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who can break Wayne Gretzky's scoring records while teaching Gordon Ramsay how to cook!". (Some of the more hardcore cultists would never take their political savior's name in vain and only refer to the old Jew hater as "Dr. Paul". Yes, that's as creepy as it sounds.) This is always my cue to go into Verbal Assault Mode. To me, nonsensical rambling like this is like Wolverine's claws against Glenn Beck's chalkboard at its best and narcotics-induced insanity at its worst. I can tolerate a whole lot of things, but attempts by a mental deficient to spread vapid propaganda are not among them.

However, today is different. Today, I'm feeling intellectually lazy. In fact, I feel so intellectually lazy that I'm going to lower myself and use Paultardspeak. Ready ? Here we go:

Only Ron Paul is mentally ill enough to think Iran should have nuclear weapons.

Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who voted to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Only Ron Paul thinks traditional marriage shouldn't be defended by a Constitutional amendment.

Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate that thinks 9/11 was America's fault.