Saturday, March 9, 2013

Instant gratification and the heart

The best interview question I've ever been asked was, "Do romance writers have the best relationships?" Clearly the reason for this question, as romance writers we write love, characters with the ability to communicate and solve problems and sex, sex, and more sex. What's not to like? Right? How did I answer the question? Well, basically, this is what I said, "I can't speak for everyone but I believe that I've learned what works in romance novels can work in real-life romance too. Equality comes in communication, kindness, fidelity and sex. With those four things, how can we go wrong?" I'm certainly not an expert in relationships. After all, I've failed, but I also believe in second chances. My hubby and I are an example of second chances. I've even written several books on this topic: Second Chance Cowboy and the sequel, Second Ride Cowboy (Releasing in August 2013).

As humans we are never satisfied with anything. Our gratitude for things has a short life span. We always want more and more...and better. So our relationships aren't any different. At the same time, we want unity and a relationship...we just want it perfect; therefore, putting way too much pressure on our shoulders to have a relationship work. We live in a society where instant gratification isn't a gift but an expectation. Sometimes couples find it easier to walk away than to take the time to put all of the pieces of the puzzle back together.

Relationships take lots of work, so why not make the "job" a whole helluva lot more exciting? Here are some fun little tricks to keep the excitement lit.

1. Take a mini vaca. The point is to get away and relax. Concentrate on one another away from the stress.

2. Candlelight dinner. Traditionally, candlelight dinners have always been romantic. They still are.

3. Massages. Surprise him by asking him to roll over onto his stomach then knead the stress right out of his muscles and mind...then allow "things" to happen.

4. Sexting for adults. Sure, go ahead, send a naughty message to your partner. And if you're feeling a bit friskier, send a sexy pic. It doesn't have to be a fully exposed shot. A glimpse of cleavage, a pose showing thigh, sporting bra and thong...you get what I'm saying.

5. Couples who cook together, stay together. I don't know if that's true, but I have a fascination for with men who can whip up something in the kitchen. On a leisure afternoon, spend it creating a meal that you can later enjoy together.

6. Take a bath together. I know, you see this a lot in romantic movies. Yet, think about it, slick bodies, washing each other's back, warm water and lot candles. Sexy!

7. Talk dirty. Open up and tell your partner what you want to experience. Telling doesn't mean doing...but I like to call it verbal foreplay.

8. Take a trip to the vineyard. Wine is associated with romance. This may not sound like an exciting date to some, but don't knock it until you've tried it. You'd be surprised how sampling wine with a lover can induce excitement.

10. Dance. Holding each other while listening to a love song evokes strong emotion. Dancing can also be a sexy turn-on. Grin your hips without inhibition. Run your fingers through your hair. Move to the beat of a fast song. I'll bet he won't be able to keep his eyes off you.

11. Watch a romantic movie, or one that sends a message of how lucky you both are to have one another. Movies that show a couple happy, then lose one another, then get back together after a life lesson actually can ignite appreciation within us.

Releasing May 6, 2013.

Cassandra and Sebastian have been friends since college. They know everything about each other, and even own a restaurant together. Now she has a secret admirer—one who asks her to meet him wearing a blindfold…and nothing else. She complies, mostly, and must rely on how he smells, feels, and sounds when they meet. He seems familiar. Familiar enough to be Sebastian? Surely not. Maybe she’s hoping her admirer is Sebastian. Maybe…

Sebastian has a secret Cassie knows nothing of: He’s in love with her. But telling her could destroy their friendship. So he’s got to sit back and watch as she swoons for this secret admirer who uses all the right romantic words to win her heart.

Can Sebastian step forward and reveal himself? Supposing he dares to let Cassie know he loves her, can their friendship survive if she doesn’t feel the same for him?