Garlic Shots

by Jolie Peters

on 10/22/13 at 03:00 PM

It was a stormy night in Woodstock, New York, and my
boyfriend, his brother, and I were all coming down with the flu. We stood
hovering over a Hampton juicer in the dimly lit kitchen. We got the idea to drink juiced garlic to flush out our sickness from a
99-cent "juicers guide" that seemed to be published in the medieval
times. The book explained that when drinking juiced garlic, people might
experience "slight intestinal discomfort." We focused on the word "slight," and
didn't let the warning deter us from the task at hand.

My boyfriend's father gave us three heads of
garlic from a local farm. One head contained about 20 cloves, and we
assumed that when juiced, it would be enough for the three of us. However, when
the first head was processed, we could see through our now watering eyes that
it only filled one standard-sized shot glass. We all agreed that we should each have a garlic
shot as big as . . . well . . . a shot. We started peeling and juicing the other two heads.
All the while we were giggling and snickering like school girls with
a crush. We could sense the impeding danger, but were giddy
with fever and ignored all signs to stop. Not once did we double-check
the appropriate amount of garlic, which is especially embarrassing considering
we all had smart phones.

When all the potent garlic was juiced, we carried the
thick liquid back to the couch. We sat facing each other, rose our glasses, and said cheers to "good health." The next minute of my life seemed to span
over an hour, and death has never seemed so imminent as it did in those few moments.

I was a little slow to the jump, and being a millisecond
behind my counterparts, I could see their facial expressions when they finished the shot. My boyfriend leapt out of his chair and sprinted to the bathroom where he began viciously grabbing his throat and stomach. His brother's face was transforming from pink, to magenta, to fire-engine red, as he attempted to choke out a cry
for help. As soon as I finished the shot, I tried to stand, but the crippling pain brought me to my knees. I
wiggled and grunted while lying on the floor, my stomach clenched as if being squeezed by the Hulk. I dug my nails into the hardwood floor, dragged my aching body across the room, and eventually managed to join my boyfriend.

Luckily, I am alive to tell the tale. The garlic did not help cure the flu, and we were stuck with the smell looming for days. I think we all learned a valuable lesson that
day: Never ingest anything that seems out of the norm without doing THOROUGH
research first. I now know that if you are juicing garlic, it's best to add one
clove to a vegetable or fruit juice mix rather than drinking the juiced garlic
straight. However, I am still in disbelief that a food I, and many others, eat nearly every day could cause such a violent reaction when consumed on its own. Have you ever experienced something like this with a commonly eaten food?

And please, ladies and gents, never attempt any of the stunts mentioned
above at home.

"And please, ladies and gents, never attempt any of the stunts mentioned above at home." Yes, be sure to do it at someone else's house where you can permeate their dwelling with the stench of garlic and sweat. :)
While you're at it, make a note that drinking whole juiced beets in large quantities will give you a similar reaction while your body rejects it.