Headout: Computer Class

What can you learn playing educational video games?

Education is the measuring stick of civilization. But not
everyone can sit through a lecture about Teddy Roosevelt’s later years
without getting distracted by squirrels frolicking outside. Some of us
need to bump into a dysentery-stricken Roosevelt in the middle of the
Amazon while looking for cinchona to save the Incan people to earn at
least partial credit. For this, we have educational games, says one of Oprah’s 20 most inspirational women, coming to town to
speak about “The Power of Gaming and Education.” Willamette Week had one of our always-eager-to-learn interns spend a few days playing the video games of our youth. Here’s what he learned.

You can power a treadmill by stringing a
rubber band between the treadmill and a mouse wheel then dropping a
bowling ball on top of a mouse cage.

Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Even after you’ve gathered enough
evidence to identify a criminal, you need to call a warrant robot before
you can arrest him. Also, Afghanistan’s chief exports are nuts, wheat
and fruits—not opium. Beware, one motivated thief can steal the entire
Dome of the Rock.

DinoPark Tycoon

Jurassic Park has a point: Dinosaur theme
parks need guided tours. With only one lame ornithomimus on display,
parkgoers just wander around aimlessly. Also, don’t cheap out on fences
and staff.

Leisure Suit Larry 5: Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work

Apparently the porn industry, the main
reason VHS dominated Betamax, is controlled by drug dealers. Scoring is
difficult even in a sporty leisure suit, but you can still get in a
girl’s pants by giving her money to “invest in junk bonds.”

IGNITE PORTLAND[WORDS] The 11th iteration of Portland’s
Ignite series, in which folks have five minutes and 20 slides to give a
lightning talk. Topics this round include “Bronyism in Modern Culture,”
“How to Climb a Mountain Without Killing Yourself” and “Tales of Living
in an RV in Portland.” Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 467-7521, 6 pm. Free. All ages.

STAR WARS YOGA[YOGA] Like most things in life, yoga can only be improved when paired with Star Wars. Use the spirit and strength of your favorite Star Wars
characters to enhance your flexibility while practicing hatha yoga. Do
the bound butterfly while channeling your inner frozen-in-carbonite Han
Solo or focusing metal-bikini Leia to perform the Ananta. May the Force
be with you. Manifest Men’s Studio, 4906 NW 22nd Ave., 223-8822. 7:30-9 pm. $15.

FRIDAY SEPT. 21

COMPLIANCE[MOVIES] Writer-director Craig Zobel’s
torture-chamber piece is most definitely a painfest—it is essentially a
90-minute rape sequence—but it smartly skirts titillation to get at
unsettling truths about a species robbed, ruled and defeated by
discipline and punishment. It is a very scary movie because it is all
too true. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave., 223-4515. Multiple showtimes. $9.

SATURDAY SEPT. 22

ST. JOSEF’S WINERY GRAPE-STOMPING FESTIVAL[WINE] Celebrate the beginning of “crush” with a very literal
interpretation of the word, by stomping barefoot around a 1,200-gallon
barrel of grapes. There will also be live German music and 400 pounds of
St. Josef’s sausages and housemade sauerkraut. St. Josef’s Winery, 28836 S Barlow Road, Canby. Noon-6 pm Saturday-Sunday, Sept. 22-23. $10.

TUESDAY SEPT. 25

WILCO[MUSIC] Sure, you’ve got the bootleg of
the February show at the Schnitz. But seeing Wilco is even better when
you drive five hours to do it. Britt Festival, Britt Pavilion, Jacksonville. brittfest.org. 7 pm. $39-49.