Thursday, June 28, 2007

I'm so intuitive that I scare myself sometimes

Nice comments folks - those who responded to the last post and seem to be able to read between the lines.

I have a wedding this coming Saturday about an hour-and-a-half away. My cousin's son is getting married. (Sidebar: the bride's father passed last Friday of cancer - only 46 - and they buried him yesterday. My heart crushes for her. I knew she'd be advised to go on with their plans.)

My beau's kids are here from Florida. His son is 18 and his daughter is 17. They weren't expected to stay until July 2nd but extended their trip. So when we accepted this wedding invitation they would have been gone before the event. I offered to the beau last week to bow out. He said no. My parents, my sister and her beau and my niece, my beau, my daughter and I were all driving to this wedding Saturday afternoon. We were just going to make it for the reception at 5:30pm and were skipping church at 2pm, seeing that we were driving and there's such a lapse in-between. We're staying overnight and I booked and paid for quite an expensive hotel. The two girls were staying at my aunt's along with my parents.

Last night at 9 p.m. the beau called me. Our conversation ended with him telling me he wasn't going to the wedding. His father has been ill and is in the hospital again, but he thinks his dad will be fine but said he wasn't going because he hasn't golfed with his son yet and his sister takes on so much with the mom and being with her simply for emotional support while the dad is in the hospital that he wanted to be around.

1. "Sorry" was never mentioned.2. I offered to give him an "out" a week ago when I could have called my cousin and had them cancel a meal.3. He's not staying home because the father's life hangs in the balances (?)4. His kids are 17 and 18!!!5. I told him weeks ago to mention to his sister that we had this wedding on this weekend.6. His kids stay and sleep at the sister's house to be with their cousins constantly and hate sleeping at their grandmother's house. Probably because their mother, his ex, was good at alienating my beau's family, which he let occur.7. His kids come here and don't spend any quality time with him. (Other then him driving them around!) Infact he almost doesn't see them because they spend all their time with their cousins at his sister's house. A pet peeve of mine. Would it be too much trouble to spend time with your dad who flew you here...who flew you here a couple weeks ago to attend a concert...the same concert you bought 3 different sets of tickets, with his credit card, trying to better your seats and neglecting to tell him until he saw his statement.8. The reality is that he will stay home and his kids will still spend their time at his sister's house when his supposed purpose for staying home was to give her a break from doing so much else due to the situation with the dad. She will insist because they're all big and its no trouble and they keep each other occupied.9. Their beach week, his and his siblings, started Father's Day. Instead of visiting with their dad on what might be his last Father's Day they spent their weekend at the beach. I wondered why last year they weren't home with their dad whose health first took a turn for the ugly last Father's Day. (It's only a 40 minute ride from the beach).

My feelings are hurt. I did not let it show. (I'm not demanding and I'm not a beotch and I wasn't willing to go into it last night - caught me off guard and quite honestly it felt like the kiss of death...for him. I'm peeved. Been there, done that, not doing it again.

So the few comments I received on last post mentioned "hope you feel better." I feel fine - I won't let this sort of thing make me crumble. I think when you've had a high-maintenance spouse prior, and I can only speak for myself, you don't have the energy to squabble, even over little things. I don't anyway.

Don't get me wrong. First time I've ever been mad about anything with him and its been 3 years. But I've been letting things compound, even if only in my head, recently. He's a great guy in many ways. Maybe just not for me and/or maybe as I suspected from day one - I'm just not ready.