Bringing Up Children – Part 3

1) When something commendable is observed in the child, congratulate him and reward him. Similarly if something undesirable is seen, then reprimand him for it. Tell him of the evil aspect of the said thing also the eventual outcome. If the act is repeated, then punish him appropriately for it.

2) If a complaint has to be made about a child, then do so in his absence as children dislike it if people complain to their parents about them.

3) The child should not be constantly or unnecessarily beaten and reprimanded, insulted or degraded, etc. as this could cause the child to become stubborn and disobedient. He could also develop a similar character i.e. insulting, hating others, etc.

4) Let him do all his work himself and do not make him lazy and inactive. On the other hand, do not burden the child with too much work otherwise he will become frustrated.

5) Immediately after punishing the child, do not start joking, playing, or showing affection or pity to the child he will lose fear for the parents in this way.

6) When your child is at fault never act partially or take his side, doing so will corrupt his character.

7) The most destructive agency for growing child in this day in age is the evil of television. A child cannot be reared Islamically by exposing him to the object of moral filth and evil which is displayed on the television screen. It will be too late for such parents to shed tears of regret when they finally realize that their children have already toppled over the brink of immorality. The blame will be squarely their burden.

8) During the holidays, children who are attending schools should be kept in the company of pious persons (ahlullah) so at least their ideas and beliefs will be rectified.

9) Just as you have fixed times in the daily program for various activities, so too, have a time for your child to go daily to the masjid or an Alim where he can sit down and acquire religious guidance.

10) During the holiday season the child has nothing to do. The unfortunate child wanders around day and night not even performing salah. But the parents remain blissfully happy on account of themselves being regular with salah. However they remain unaware that on the day of Qiyamah they will enter jahannam along with their offspring(s) due to their defection from Islam.

You are happy that you have made your child a B.A. or M.A. but you have left them on the brink of Jahannam. The eyes have become so blind that the road leading to paradise is not visible!

Hadeeth of the Day

Narrated Abud-Darda' (Radhi Allahu anhu) , I heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) saying, "Whenever a Muslim supplicates for his (Muslim) brother in his absence, the angels say: `May the same be for you too'. {Muslim}

IDENTIFY YOUR MARITAL PROBLEM

This forum serves to highlight some common marital problems and offer solutions to such problems.These problems have been personally witnessed and handled by Sheikh Mufti Ebrahim Desai (Hafidhahullah) over a period of 18 years.

When you are in a marital dispute, reconcile with your husband while you have an upper hand. This will be better for your dignity and personal happiness.

If you are stubborn or petty and lose that opportunity to reconcile with dignity, you may be forced to reconcile while you are on the back foot due to personal circumstances, then you will have to blame yourself for losing the opportunity to display your dignity which may negatively impact on the future of your marriage.