Family

In Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis calls dialogue “essential” for family life. His guidelines on dialogue are easily applicable to civil society as well.

Can you imagine how this election cycle might be different if we challenged ourselves, candidates, political parties, commentators, ourselves, and others to follow Pope Francis’ advice?

Recognize the real “importance” and dignity of the other person. Recognize others’ right “to think as they do and to be happy.” Pope Francis challenges us to acknowledge the values of the other’s “deepest concerns” and what he or she is try to say (no. 138).

Try to understand where the other person is coming from: his or her pain, disappointments, fear, anger, hopes, and dreams (no. 137).

Put yourself in the other’s “shoes”; try to “peer” into his or her heart. This is the starting point for dialogue (no. 138).

Be ready to “listen patiently and attentively to everything the other person wants to say.” Dialogue requires the “self-discipline” of waiting until someone is finished speaking before responding. And, it means truly listening to what someone else is saying—not planning a comeback before the other person has even finished speaking (no. 137).

“Keep an open mind.” We need not stick to our own “limited ideas and opinions,” but we must “be prepared to change or expand them.” Our goal is “synthesis” that enriches everyone involved in the dialogue. We don’t seek unity in diversity, Pope Francis says, but rather “reconciled diversity” (no. 139).

Our goal is to advance the common good. Respect and appreciation for the “other” are necessary prerequisites (no. 139).

Try not to offend, and don’t vent. We must choose our words carefully, be sensitive to how others feel, and never seek to inflict hurt. We must also avoid a “patronizing” tone, which “only serves to hurt, ridicule, accuse and offend others” (no. 139).

Love everyone. “Love,” Pope Francis writes, “surmounts even the worst barriers.” When we come from a place of love, we can better understand others (no. 140).

Base positions on beliefs and values, not on the desire to “win” an argument or be “proved right” (no. 140).

Pray! True dialogue, Pope Francis reminds us, “can only be the fruit of an interior richness” nourished by our quiet time with God through reading, reflection, prayer, and “openness to the world around us” (no. 141).

These are challenging words from Pope Francis. How might our own families be different if we took his words to heart? Our parishes? Our neighborhoods? Ourselves? Our society? The current election cycle?

My wife Genevieve used to work at an urban retreat and social justice education center in a poor city, which is in the former convent on the property of a Catholic parish. There were a couple of homeless guys from the neighborhood who would occasionally stop by the center for something to eat. Because youth were often in the building, the center’s security policy didn’t allow the men to come in, but staff members would always prepare a “to go” bag with a sandwich or two and anything else that was in the kitchen.

There was a daily Mass in the chapel across the parking lot from the center, and Genevieve would go before work from time to time. One of the men who came for food most often – I’ll call him Frank – would sometimes be at Mass, too. He would join in the prayer and receive communion with the rest of the assembly.

Genevieve was struck by the fact that while Frank was understandably not allowed to enter the center, he was more than welcome in the church. He was part of the one human family gathered around the altar for the Eucharistic feast; he didn’t have to take this meal to go.

Mass, said the scholar Aidan Kavanagh, is doing the world the way it’s meant to be done. At the end of each liturgical celebration, we are sent forth to make the world more closely resemble the unity that we practice in the sanctuary, where all welcomed to the table and can receive what they need.

Pope Francis makes this connection between the Eucharist and our call to create a more just world in paragraphs 185 and 186 in his brand new apostolic exhortation on the family, Amoris Laetitia (“The Joy of Love”).

“The Eucharist demands that we be members of the one body of the Church. Those who approach the Body and Blood of Christ may not wound that same Body by creating scandalous distinctions and divisions among its members,” he writes. “When those who receive it turn a blind eye to the poor and suffering, or consent to various forms of division, contempt and inequality, the Eucharist is received unworthily. On the other hand, families who are properly disposed and receive the Eucharist regularly, reinforce their desire for fraternity, their social consciousness and their commitment to those in need.”

Why does Pope Francis talk about the connection between the Eucharist and working for a more just world in a document about the family?

The Eucharist is the source and summit of our faith. It is the celebration of Christ’s self-giving love and sacrifice for us, his brothers and sisters. We are meant to emulate this Eucharistic, others-centered love in our family lives – directed toward our own blood relatives, surely, but also reaching outward to all of God’s children, especially those who are hurting.

Formed by this Eucharistic love, our families can become what Pope Francis calls in the document “vital cell[s] for transforming the world.” Our families are meant to be schools of mercy, where compassion and care for the poor are learned and practiced. I think of my friend Sean, who has devoted his life to Catholic social justice ministry. When he was growing up, his family would help serve a meal at a soup kitchen every single Christmas. Sean doesn’t remember this tradition seeming strange or unusual. “It was just something we did,” he says. He learned mercy in his family and it had a profound impact on the person he has become.

How might the self-giving love we celebrate in the Eucharist be calling your family to work for justice together? What a privileged opportunity we have to respond to the Holy Father’s call!

Michael Jordan Laskey is director of Life & Justice Ministries and vice chancellor for the City of Camden for the Diocese of Camden, NJ.

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In the Gospel of Matthew (25:35) Jesus tells his disciples, “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

The call to welcome the stranger plays an important role in the lives of faithful Christians and holds central place for those of us who work in the migration field. The migrant, who moves from one country to another, is truly a stranger in our midst. Often unfamiliar with the local tongue of the new country, not to mention its customs, the migrant needs the support of local communities so that she can better adjust to her new surroundings. National Migration Week 2016 picks up on the theme of welcome and, in doing so, calls on each of us to welcome the stranger among us.

Sadly, every year seems to bring a new migration crisis to the forefront.

In 2014, the United States witnessed a significant influx of unaccompanied migrant children and families fleeing violence in their homelands. Most of these migrants came from El Salvador, Guatemala, or Honduras. The Catholic Church has taken seriously the humanitarian and policy oriented aspects of this situation and advocates in support of increased protections for migrant children and their families who are arriving in the United States.

In 2015, the Syrian refugee crisis took center stage. Since its outbreak, at least four million Syrians have fled their country as a consequence of the civil war and the rise of ISIS. Most have fled to surrounding countries, especially Egypt, Lebanon, Jordan, and Turkey. Many others have moved on to Europe with the hope of finding a place of peace and safety. Pope Francis and the Catholic bishops have called on the U.S. government and the international community to provide support to both Syrian refugees fleeing violence and to countries that have been at the forefront of this humanitarian effort. In a related statement, Archbishop Joseph Kurtz of Louisville, Kentucky, and President of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops urged:

… all Catholics in the United States and others of good will to express openness and welcome to these refugees, who are escaping desperate situations in order to survive. Regardless of their religious affiliation or national origin, these refugees are all human persons—made in the image of God, bearing inherent dignity, and deserving our respect and care and protection by law from persecution.

In both the unaccompanied migrant child and Syrian refugee crises, the Catholic Church’s call to provide protections and support for these vulnerable people has often gone unheeded and has been instead met by demands to implement further restrictions on migration to the United States.

In the case of Syrians, suggestions have been made to ban Muslim migrants from entering the United States altogether. In the case of unaccompanied children, legislative efforts were undertaken to limit their international protections.

The Catholic bishops neither support a policy of open borders nor a process of unregulated migration from one country to another. Rather, they continue to defend the duties of the international community to implement internationally agreed upon protections that are due to vulnerable migrants, and to call upon world leaders to provide a place of welcome, wherever possible, to those who are fleeing an impossible situation.

This position is rooted in the Gospel, and concretely in Matthew 25: “I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”

Todd Scribner is the Education Outreach Coordinator for Migration & Refugee Services at the USCCB.

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Today, as we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family during this blessed season, we reflect upon the importance of family and our role as members of both local and global communities. This video on the Call to Family, Community, and Participation is the third in our new CST101 video series!

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An abused wife with a large family realized for the first time that Catholics cared when she saw a resource card about Domestic Violence in her church’s restroom. It was the first time she had an inkling that she was not the only Catholic woman to experience domestic abuse. The card explained that the Church teaches that no one is expected to stay in an abusive relationship and gave information about how to get help and find safety.

I have heard this story, and many others like it, too many times to count. Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age. Domestic violence is a reality that faces all of our communities—even communities of faith.

Faith leaders are often called upon to be first responders in domestic violence situations. When someone knows you are a praying person, they often turn to you for help. Teaching about compassion, nonviolence, self-control, respect and equality in its seminary education, lay ministry formation, marriage preparation, youth ministry and children’s catechetical programs are essential to preventing domestic violence.

Several Catholic organizations provide excellent resources to help. The National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers offered a workshop on responding to domestic violence at their recent national convention, and the Christian Family Movement produced small group study resources to promote action. Catholics for Family Peace, a clearinghouse for Catholic resources to respond to domestic violence that grew out of a USCCB Task Force, offers training for parish staffs and parishioners, as well as guidance for preachers and faith formation leaders and restroom signs and informational brochures from a Catholic perspective for free download, on their website.

Another resource for a Catholic response is a 100-page booklet, How Can We Help to End Violence in Catholic Families: A Guide for Clergy, Religious and Laity, which was distributed to all participants at this month’s Synod on the Family in Rome. Written by Catholic psychologist Dr. Christauria Welland, it discusses ways all Catholics can respond to and prevent domestic violence, and how to educate Catholic youth and couples for peace. The booklet is available for free download in six languages from www.paxinfamilia.org.

Catholics for Family Peace President, Dr. Sharon O’Brien, outlines some positive steps that Catholics in ministry can take to make a difference in this serious problem affecting families:

In collaboration with community agencies, educate all Catholics and people of good will to prevent marital abuse, intimate partner abuse, and teen dating abuse.

Using Catholic teachings and evidence-based research, address the safety and healing of the victim survivor and any children, as well as the healing and recovery of the abuser.

Ensure that pastoral leadership of Catholic parishes and organizations, as well as family and friends, know the best steps to respond effectively to situations of domestic abuse.

Equip pastors and staffs to recognize and assist abuse victims by directing them to appropriate support agencies and how to connect abuse victims to safe, immediate assistance.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides crisis intervention and referrals to local service providers. Call 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TTY). E-mail assistance is available at ndvh@ndvh.org.

Abuse can happen to anyone, at any age. All Catholics need to be prepared to recognize abuse, respond appropriately, and refer to professionals equipped to help.

Together, we can promote family peace and end violence in Catholic families.

Dr. Lauri Przybysz, D.Min., is a Co-founder of Catholics for Family Peace. She also serves president-elect of the National Association of Catholic Family Life Ministers and past-president Christian Family Movement-USA. She blogs about family ministry at www.familyministryresources.com.

For more information on the stance of the Catholic Bishops of the United States on domestic violence and resources to support victims of domestic violence, including their statement When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence Against Women visit the USCCB Domestic Violence webpage.

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Many years ago I heard an analogy for what has happened in this country and how the unhealthy patterns of the elite, the powerful, and the wealthy trickled down to the poor, but with far more disastrous effects.

The analogy was the game of “crack the whip,” which some of us who are older remember from the school playground. The “game” involved fifteen or twenty kids making a straight line. Each kid then reached back with one arm and took the hand of the one behind so that a long chain of kids now existed. The kid in the lead then took off running and everyone behind followed, holding arms. Then suddenly the lead kid would take a sharp turn. The kids immediately behind him could make the turn, but for the kids further back it got harder to hold on and make the turn. The kids at the back of the line didn’t stand a chance and went flying off the line, falling to ground with the centripetal force.

This is an analogy for the social and economic ills of the last sixty or more years. For there are some who are at the front of the line who are well positioned to take their thrill rides, engage in social experimentation and indulge greed and excess.

“Crack the Whip” is much in evidence in social/moral ills, such as indulging drugs, alcohol, sex, going in and out of marriages, and glamorizing all sorts of dangerous and deleterious behaviors, as well as in economic ills.

Those at the front of the line can afford the lifestyles that greed demands and can generally afford to pay the higher prices of an overheated economy and a lifestyle that increasingly demands and expects more and more.

“Gentrification” has accelerated, along with all the difficulties of social dislocation. Here in Washington DC the poor are moved to the margins of what many call “Ward 9.” There are only 8 Wards in DC, and so “Ward 9” is a euphemism for being moved to the margins, outside the city that increasingly loses its economic diversity. Once poor and working class neighborhoods now sport housing prices approaching $1 million.

Catholic parishes have used community organizing to save Public Housing and 30% affordable housing in the city, but every new project requires vigilance in a city that is committed in law but poor in enforcing the law.

It’s a classic case of “crack the whip.” Those at the front of the line adjust to sudden shifts in the economy and play the market, but at the back of the line the less privileged go flying off, staggering as they fall and off to the “Ward 9s” of our cities.

As a priest, I am not an economist, and I realize that economic realities are very complex. I am not calling for all sorts of government intervention, etc. But I do know what I see as a priest working among all social classes. I cannot and should not devise all sorts of policy solutions, I leave that to the experts among the laity. But what I can and should do is to remind the folks in the front of the line to remember the folks at the back. “Crack the whip” is fun and exciting at the front of the line, but devastating at the back of the line.

Somewhere we should rediscover the common good and look to our own behavior, wherever we are in the line. I am my brother’s keeper. His welfare ought to be important to me. It’s about more than money; it’s about taking care to build a culture that thinks more of those behind me, and those yet to be born. What of them? How does my life and lifestyle affect them?

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The following excerpt is from a speech given by Bishop Jaime Soto of Sacramento, Chairman of the USCCB Subcommittee for the Catholic Campaign for Human Development.

Bishop Jaime Soto, Chairman of the USCCB Subcommittee on CCHD

[The Catholic Campaign for Human Development (CCHD) seeks] to have immigrant families participate more fully in American life. Becoming a good citizen is not just a matter of a naturalization process. It is a matter of learning the personal responsibility – as well as the skills that go along with this – to be involved in your community. In time, faceless institutions become real people: the mayor of your town, the principal at your school, the police chief in your city and the local Congress member for your district.

More than just advocating for a just comprehensive immigration reform, CCHD has supported efforts on a variety of related issues both on local and state levels… helping immigrant communities better relate to local law enforcement, responding to local anti-immigrant ordinances, organizing community-based humanitarian responses to immigration raids with special attention for children separated from their parents.

All of these efforts are as much about the empowering of relationships, practicing subsidiarity, and enabling the virtue of solidarity as they are about the practical outcomes of promoting better laws.

One very important aspect of these efforts is enunciated very beautifully in Pope Francis’s recent apostolic exhortation, Evangelii Gaudium, “The Joy of the Gospel.” He spoke about time being greater than space [EG, 221-237]. . . . The Holy Father expressed a concern that all too often there is a priority of space over time, a desire to control the exercise of power for intended outcomes, refusing to let the processes of dialogue and participation produce a more authentic human development. The inclination is to believe time is running out or to fear what time could harbor. So, using the Holy Father’s language, there is the temptation to take possession of the “spaces of power” in order to hold back any process. Does this not sound like the language with which sovereignty is being used today in order to build higher walls instead of better bridges?

Time has to do with hope, living with the expectation of a brighter horizon. Hope is more than an expectant feeling. Christian hope incarnates itself in time, using time to bring about the kingdom, carefully, deliberately – quoting Pope Francis: “without anxiety, but with clear convictions and tenacity” (EG, 223). He used an apt metaphor from the Gospel, the parable of the weeds and the wheat. The workers wanted to take control of the situation, pulling out the weeds. The owner of the filed, fearing the wheat could be lost with the weeds, counseled time, patience. His wisdom allowed the field to develop and grow so that at the proper time a good discernment could be made.

The work of solidarity takes time, patience, and process or development. The work of CCHD understands this. Our efforts to begin with the poor and the marginalized, giving them the time to create the space of hope where they can share in protecting and providing for one another, creating a cohesive narrative and using power for the common good. We put resources and power where we believe it can do the most good.

Perhaps this is where time helps solidarity create a new sense of sovereignty that is not enslaved in a sense of space. The political probabilities for a comprehensive immigration reform are still uncertain, murky. The work of CCHD will continue to engage immigrant communities in the political discourse not because a favorable outcome is assured. It is not. Even in the face of little optimism there is the hope in things still not seen (Rom 8, 24-25).

Along with this hope is the freedom to act. We insert that hope into time, creating citizens of the New Jerusalem. This is a hope not held captive by partisan timetables, strategies for the 2016 campaign or talk-radio slogans. Rather, “soon and very soon, we are going to see the king.” Pope Francis spoke about the constant tension between fullness and limitation (EG, 222). CCHD will continue to fund that tension, desiring always that his kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.

Bishop Soto’s speech on “Sovereignty, Solidarity and Time: Reflections on CCHD’s Work With Immigrants,” was given on January 25, 2015 at the 32nd Annual Aquinas Lecture sponsored by the Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis, MO. The full text of the speech appeared in Origins, CNS Documentary Service, Vol. 44, No. 37, February 1, 2015.

For stories of how CCHD works to help immigrant families participate fully in American life, visit the Poverty Map and select “Target Population.”