Friday, November 7, 2014

Was 'Star Wars: Tokyo Drift' already taken?

Look it's not a bad choice, it's just kind of, I don't know, uninspiring. But whatever, if the movie's decent, who cares, right?

Pictured: Episode VII has a title. You'll find it wedged between Star and Wars like the meaty filling of a logo burger.

Grand Moff Tarkin:"He died as he lived...in profile."

Nerds. Nerds care. A lot. Here goes: The Empire Strikes Back was an amazing title. The movie is about the Empire getting revenge for the galactic pants-ing they suffered at the hands of some whiny kid who, with exactly 20 minutes of fighter pilot experience, somehow managed to blow up their moon-sized murderball along with a couple million of their finest Storm Troopers and Grand Moffs. You better believe the Empire is going to goddamn strike back. They probably should have called it The Empire Strikes The Fuck Back.

The Force Awakens just kind of implies that the force was asleep. Like it had a long day and needed to lie down for a bit. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe reminding us of napping isn't the best move when half your cast are reprising rolls they haven't played in 3 decades. Does that make me a jerk?