Apple Offers Free Cases To iPhone 4 Owners

Unless you live under a rock like a roly-poly you've probably heard of the iPhone 4's shitty antennae sitch (that's cool-talk for situation, FYI). Well Steve Jobs announced today Apple will be giving away free bumper cases until September 30th that alleviate the problem. Hooray? No. Hip hop hooray, ho, hey, ho! Damn yeah I'm naughty by nature nurture!

A defiant Steve Jobs argued that the brouhaha over the iPhone 4's so-called death grip has been "blown so out of proportion, it's incredible." Still, in an effort to make every iPhone customer happy, Apple (as expected) will hand out free cases -- either Apple's $29 Bumpers or a "choice" of third-party cases -- for any iPhone 4 users who wants one.

I really don't care about any of this because I'm not eligible for an upgrade until January so I'll probably hold out for the iPhone 4x, but you know what really gets me? That Apple regularly charges 29 F***ING BONES FOR THE BUMPER CASE. What's it made out of, unicorn semen?