Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Magical Return of a Strange Visitor from the East

Thanks for being patient with me. I hope to be back around to posting regularly within a week or so. Your Party Host has been a busy little beaver at work the past week, plus I'm still dealing with the aftermath of my recent move. We’ll get back on track with the “Know Thy Enemy” and other posts very soon. I promise. Until then, I hope you enjoy this.

Good day, ladies and gentlemen. Never afraid to beat a dead joke into the ground, it’s time once again for a visit from the Great Stranger from the East. He is the seer of all seers, a legend in his own mind, and Ryan Raburn’s personal outfield coach. Heaven has no star brighter than Rogo-nac the Tremendous!

/Rogo-nac enters and trips on the stage

Are you okay, oh great one?

I’m fine, you buffoon. I’m fine. Let us proceed before I grow weary of your stupidity. You remind me of a sports talk radio host at times. Or an LA Times sportswriter.

No need to be rude, wise one. Now, I hold in my hand a stack of envelopes. An illiterate child of four can see that they have been hermetically sealed and have been kept hidden within the unused Tiger scouting reports of Luke Scott. We now ask you, oh all-knowing Rogo-nac, to use your unbelievable powers to give the answers before opening the envelopes and reading their questions. Are you ready, sir?

Sure thing. Bring it.

Hermetically sealed…

Indeed.

Within the Tiger scouting reports of Luke Scott.

Where no one has apparently EVER looked. Let’s go.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first envelope!

Rogo-nac must have COMPLETE SILENCE!

Rogo-nac almost always receives nothing but silence.

May your team’s manager pencil Don Kelly in as the #3 hitter.

Haha…so sad. Begin, sir.

/puts envelope to forehead

“Fosters” and “Brad Thomas”.

/rip…poof

What is Australian for “beer” and for “suck”?

HOHO…yes! Brad Thomas is an abortion, sir.

/puts envelope to forehead

Charlie Furbush.

This can’t be good…

/rip…poof

Name the pet names Sheen and his porno girlfriend gave each other.

Hahahaha…didn’t they break up, unerring one?

Silence, you twit. May Cale Iorg be your team’s future shortstop.

/puts envelope to forehead

Herpes, gonorrhea, and crabs.

Good lord…

/rip…poof

What did Brad Penny receive from Alyssa Milano on their first date?

Zing! Hoho…what a tramp, sir. But quite attractive…how does Penny do it?

/puts envelope to forehead

Tampa Bay…Bucs?

Was that a question, sir?

/rip…poof

Where did Johnny Damon tell his wife he was playing and what was her first question about it.

Do Not Take This Blog Seriously.

The only thing I enjoy more than Detroit Tigers baseball is making fun of it and those that write about it. Most things you read here are meant in a humorous way. So do everyone a favor and lighten up. It's a joke. Oftentimes a bad one...

DesigNate Robertson was named after ex-Tiger pitcher, Nate Robertson and my hatred of his performances on the mound. He will be missed.

To those with an open mind and a sense of humor, I welcome you. Lets have some fun.