In highly surprising news, it turns out that the 1%’er Elizabeth Warren (still don’t understand who she is or why she’s a national figure!) used to claim to be a Native-American for whatever silly (but lucrative and career-advancing) affirmative-action purpose. This is highly surprising because, who would ever think a ‘progressive’ would take advantage of some ‘progressive’ policy for self-serving reasons and to enrich herself? Well, there’s a first time for everything. It reminds me of the time we got to the end of high school and I heard that the hot rich girl had listed previously-unsuspected Native American blood (1/16th or whatever) on her Harvard, Berkeley, etc. applications. Because, you know, the hot rich girl needed more advantages in life, clearly. She’s married to a pro golfer now or something (I’m guessing). Actually I’m confusing her with some other rich girl, but the point is, this Warren thing reminds me of that, all except for the ‘hot’ part, I guess.

Other news on the Surprising News front is that our “Secretary of Health And Human Services”, which apparently is a thing that exists, someone named Kathleen Sebelius, doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the Constitution that she swore to uphold and protect when she was sworn into that august office. As my readers know there is almost nothing more surprising to me than a ‘progressive’ who doesn’t know/care a lick about the Constitution.

Then there is the story of Dan Savage, the guy whose claim to fame is writing that nauseating “Savage Love” column that would appear in all the free college-town weeklies somewhere between the profile of the homeless guy and the Cecil Adams/Straight Dope column at the end. I don’t know if that’s still what he does, but anyway, he was speaking at a “Journalism Student’s Conference” (which apparently is a thing) and badmouthed the Bible, causing students to politely walk out, at which point he badmouthed them. This is all highly surprising, as it does not conform to the previously-stellar standards of behavior that the alleged-adult Dan Savage had established by doing such things as smearing, or claiming to smear, or whatever since I don’t care to figure out whether that was ever resolved, his saliva onto doorknobs and coffee mugs used by people whose politics he didn’t like.

You know, sometimes it’s hard being a blogger. The above are basically the biggest three stories taking place and they are all so surprising that it’s just so interesting to write about them.

In yet other surprising news, RWCG can now report that I have used sarcasm in this post.