The blog is closing this year (I’ll make the official announcement later on), and this is likely my last ever blog post.

Okay, so I lied. This is the last-ever blog post.

Then again, I rather doubt anyone other than me will ever read this, so…

First things first: It was ten (10) years ago today – also a Saturday, as fate would have it – that I challenged the so-called Rev’r’nnnnnnnnnnd Mykeru of the Church of the SubTarded – known forever hereinafter as “Mykki Chickenshit” – to come out from behind his M-1 and his inflatable dolls and $66-wielding sock puppets, and show up on my doorstep and spew his anti-Christian bullshit to my face.

And, as you all know by now…he never showed. (Neither, for that matter, did his sock-puppet, “Von Vockerman”. Or that sixty-six small ($66 to you in the Church of the SubTarded) that I was offered to meet him “halfway” in Tennessee, come to think of it.

And in so not doing, putting the exclamation point on my decades-long contention – that libtards are nothing more than chickenshits who talk reeeeeeeeeal big when it’s just them and their keyboards – but put them face-to-face, mano a mano with someone who’ll take quick exception…not so much, really.

Pity, Mykki. You are now known forever as the coward who wouldn’t even stand up to a 50-year-old, out-of-shape fatass.

OTOH, I guess it does beat having your swishy ass handed to you by that selfsame 50-year-old…so there’s that.

So you can relax now. This is the last time you’ll ever be mentioned on these pages.

—

For that matter, this is the last time anything will ever be mentioned on these pages.

As I stated back in January…this endeavor isn’t fun any more. It’s work. It’s tedium. It’s a fucking chore. Hell – it’s a massive effort to even write this, so how much enjoyment could I possibly get out of writing a blog that no one ever reads? And let’s be honest here – long before the January “hiatus”, Spatula City BBS! was no longer being read – not even by the Six or Seven. When I said “screaming into the whirlwind”, I wasn’t kiddin’.

Even despite all that, it was fun. For a while. Got to rant, got to rave, got to use whatever the hell language I wanted, got to call assholes & pussies just that – “assholes” and “pussies” – and never had to worry about some sysop or moderator or wannabe censor coming along & rapping my knuckles. Complete. Freedom.

Damn, that was a good feeling.

But…all good things, as they say. It got to the point where it just wasn’t fun anymore. There are only so many ways you can rail against something, and I ran out of them. How many different ways, for example, can one say B. HUSSEIN!!!! (one last time, for old times’ sake) Obambi is a Communist jackoff whose citizenship, to say nothing about his “qualifications” for office, are highly in question? In how many different ways can you call the Kenyan bastard incompetent? (Let me know if you figure it out. I gave up trying quite some time ago.)

How many times can you challenge someone to “come say it to my face”? Hell – even that’s gotten old. Very little point in doing it anymore, though it’s gotten a little traction on Twitchy every so often.

Even the Perfect Football Weekend became difficult to suck it up & do. And then I never had time to do a proper recap, because work…well, work always got in the way, but it was even more pronounced at the end.

And when something that used to be fun becomes a major bore…it’s time to hang it up and go do something else that’s more fun. Or maybe more productive, at least.

—

All that said…that’s only part of the reason I’m hanging it up.

Before we get into all that, though, I wanna tell you about a guy I used to know named Willie Martin.

Willie was a real old guy, early 70s or so (mind you, this was back in the ’90s; I’m guessing he’s long gone by now), WWII vet, HAM radio operator, had one hellaciously hot daughter – a fact of which the old Spatulaites & Spatulaettes never failed to remind me.

Willie was also an avowed racist. Cheerfully admitted it, in fact. Didn’t mind if you knew it, either. He & I got into quite a few disagreements over it, in fact. Never swayed him.

Back in Fidonet, Willie was persona non grata on more than one BBS and/or echomail conference. More than one mod sent me Netmail about blocking him from their particular fiefdom. A couple even suggested that I dump him.

I ignored them all, and kept him around. And I did it because I remembered what it was like to be told elsewhere that my opinions were no longer welcome. And I never wanted that to happen to Willie. Disagree with him as I did, he had a right to be heard. Opinions & beliefs don’t physically hurt anyone, and Willie was otherwise harmless.

Which brings me to the Rott.

For years, in addition to This Fine Blog, I was also a moderator – more than a few folks referred to us as The Management – at Misha’s blog. As long as we didn’t outright ban too many people, we were pretty much free to do what we wanted.

Enter a user that went by the name of Bruce. During one particular thread (no, I won’t mention which one; I don’t feel like giving them the trackback), Bruce made some vague reference that might – might – maybe have been construed as slightly racist. Certainly wasn’t overt, and I paid it no mind.

Nicki, who is known on the Rott as Misha’s sestrichka, went off on Bruce, calling him every vile name in the book – and some that aren’t in the book. And I told her, in no uncertain terms, to knock it off. And she’s, like, “Or what – are you gonna ban me or something?”

To be perfectly honest – my finger was hovering over that very button. Click, click, as I’m wont to occasionally say. The abuse of Bruce had been going on for some time, despite my attempts to shut it down, and I had by now signaled my intention to put a stop to it.

Enter Misha.

Misha said – again, in no uncertain terms (hell, he said it outright; how much more “no uncertain” can you get?) – that no one was going to be banned. And in so doing, yanked out of my hands the one tool I had for maintaining order on the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler.

Holy betrayal, Batman.

Now, let’s get one thing straight: I’m a firm believer in the concept of “my blog, my rules”. That blog, and the accounts that oversee it, are the sole personal property of Emperor Misha. And as owner, he has the absolute right to dictate any rules, policies or procedures that govern his blog. You will never, and I mean never, hear me say that Misha does not have the right to run his blog the way he sees fit.

On the other hand, up until that point he seemed not to have much (if any) problem with the manner in which I administrated the blog. So to be told, straightaway, that I could no longer do my job was…well…shall we say, disheartening.

My response was immediate.

That’s all I needed to hear.

I quit.

Seriously, if you’re going to render your ghISnar cat toothless, what the hell good is he? And since I’d long since stopped being a regular commenter there, why did I need to hang around?

That episode, as much as anything else, pretty much dampened my enthusiasm for the whole blogging thing. Not that I necessarily want to pin all (or any) of the blame on Misha, but I figured, being Management, I at least outranked the sucksdicka – and it was sorta-kinda a blow to find out I didn’t.

And, quite frankly, I have better things to do than constantly have my legs yanked out from under me by folks I had considered to be good friends. What’s the old saying again? With friends like that…?

—

So anyway, that’s it, in a nutshell. Betrayed by friends, my own readership at zero, the whole experience no longer being much fun – there’s just no excuse to keep beating my head against the brick wall.

Spatula City BBS! is officially, now & forevermore, closed. Even if I were to get back into this particular game, it would be under a new moniker.

As I said in the January post, this little hobby has taken up 23 years of my life. Time to let Sy Greenbloom have his little toy back, and go do something else.

Bucky found their running game again in the nick of time. Melvin Gordon found the holes that Ohio State wasn’t giving him, and ran for 251 yards & three scores. Auburn’s attempt to tie in overtime clanged off the right upright.

—

The Bruins had to hold off a late charge from Bill Snyder’s Wildcats, but held on to win a squeaker.

—

Shoulda known better to pick the third-string quarterback in the playoff game. Arizona’s defense is good, but so is Carolina’s. Ryan Lindley basically didn’t have a shot.

No matter. I still don’t regret my decision to throw them out of the PFW.

—

I do, however, regret my decision to go with Cincinnati because of Andy Dalton.

He now gets the nickname I had bequeathed upon his ex-Cowboy teammate, Terrence Newman – “Bust”.

It’s the fact of the matter – Andy Dalton is not the answer at quarterback in Cincinnati. He’s not NFL-starter caliber. He throws too many interceptions, and doesn’t take care of the ball well enough in the pocket (he lost yet another fumble yesterday). He has a lot of work to do to improve in the NFL, and I don’t think it’s going to happen in Cincy.

—

So it’s a 1-5 record for the week, but I’m declaring a Perfect Football Weekend anyway.

Michigan State scored three touchdowns in the fourth quarter on New Year’s Day to beat playoff-snubbed and No. 5 Baylor 42-41 in the highest-scoring Cotton Bowl ever.

[...]

Michigan State (11-2), which won the Rose Bowl as Big Ten champions last season, has won four consecutive bowl games after trailing in each of them at halftime. The Spartans’ only two losses this season were to Pac-12 winner Oregon and Big Ten champ Ohio State.

Down 41-21 going into the fourth quarter, Michigan State got the winning touchdown after Marcus Rush blocked Chris Callahan’s 43-yard field goal attempt with 1:05 left.

Kinda reminiscent of how Baylor scored 24 on TCU in the fourth quarter back in October, huh? (Without all the bogus pass-interference penalties, of course.)

Live by the 21-point comeback…die by the 21-point comeback.

And after all the crowing Baylor did after 61-58…there are no words to express how sweet it was to see Baylor eat crow Thursday. HAPPY NEW YEAR, CUBTARDS!!!!!!

It was a pretty decent year, as Perfect Football Weekend years go. Heights did well, TCU had a killer year…all in all, no complaints.

—

And that does it for me, Denizens. I’d say “…and now, we return you to your regularly-scheduled rant-blogging”, except that there’s going to be nothing to return to.

The blog is closing this year (I’ll make the official annoucement later on), and this is likely my last ever blog post. I’m going on hiatus to work on other things in my life…specifically, my health. I gained 20 pounds over the holidays, and I’m pushing 40-inch slacks again. So, much of my free time will be spent working out and trying to get back down to at least 220, hopefully less.

And, to be brutally honest about it…I’ve lost the desire to do this. See, I’ve been at this, in some way, shape or form, since 1992. 22, 23-some-odd years of My Eternal Wisdom (snort!), as it were, either as a BBS, or as a website that I created/wrote myself, or as a blog.

And I’m tired…and I’m tired of it.

It used to be fun – but it hasn’t been fun for a long time. A very long time. And I don’t see beating my head against the proverbial brick wall to do it if it’s no longer any fun.

For me, there are fewer days ahead than behind. I need to make more of those days than I have as of late.

Vicar, General – feel free to post as you like, but keep in mind no one’s reading us – not even the Six Or Seven – so it’s pretty much screaming into the whirlwind at this point.

As we start the 2nd half of the back-to-back Perfect Football Weekend, we once again enlist the services of the He Ain’t All That & A Bag O’ Chips Department, which brings us yet more lamenting about the Washington REDSKINS, YOU FUCKING LIBERALS!!!slide into oblivion:

For the sixth time in the past seven seasons, the Washington Redskins will finish last in the NFC East division. With four wins against 11 losses, the team has little at stake in Sunday’s season finale against the playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys.

But unlike last season, when a poisoned relationship between then-Coach Mike Shanahan and quarterback Robert Griffin III undermined the Redskins, no single relationship or failing explained Washington’s futility on the field in 2014. Instead, a series of shortcomings proved insurmountable: injuries, instability at quarterback, poor discipline among players, ill-advised play calls and friction in the locker room, to name a few.

Such hurdles are routinely overcome by better NFL teams, but they proved too much in Washington, where losing has become ingrained in the environment of a once proud franchise.

You are encouraged, as our old frenemy Straight Up With Sherri used to say, to go read the rest.

For my part – how many times have I told anyone who would listen that The Second Coming Of The World’s Greatest Ever Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!!!!!, aka ARRRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!, that he wasn’t the greatest thing since sliced bread? That the only reason he is where he is right now is because of one game against an inexperienced TCU secondary playing its first game together? And that one of those touchdowns was an illegal double forward pass? And how, had Ross Evans been able to kick his way out of a paper sack, that Griffin would not have won the Heisman?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I’d give this a WITY – but I’ve already given it one, so what’s the point?

Let’s get on with it. With the end of TCU’s season, there’s one Core Team left – the Cincinnati Bengals – and their run will end Sunday in Indianapolis as they begin/end the playoffs against the Colts.

For the wildcard games, we’ll take the Arizona Cardinals to win in Carolina, Pittsburgh to end Baltimore’s year at Heinz Field, and Detroit (specifically, Megatron) to be too much for Dallas’ secondary.

For colleges, I like #19 Auburn over #18 Bucky in the Outback Bowl (I imagine the Tigers watched that Ohio State film) and #14 UCLA to edge #11 K-State in the Alamo Bowl (the Wildcats have problems with quality quarterbacks).

We’ll have the final recap & benediction Monday or so, as this is (in all probability) the last ever episode of the Perfect Football Weekend. Be here!

Freshman Nick Chubb took over from there, running for a career-high 266 yards and two touchdowns as No. 13 Georgia defeated 21st-ranked Louisville 37-14 in the Belk Bowl on Tuesday night.

Chubb’s rushing total was second highest in school history, behind only Herschel Walker’s 283 yards rushing against Vanderbilt in 1980.

—

Speaking of getting run over…I knew the Yellow Jackets had a ground game (and not much else), but if you don’t at least try to force them to pass, it’s gonna be a long day.

And thus it was for the Bulldogs.

—

Wasn’t a very good day for Mississippians in general, in fact. Bo Wallace was intercepted on the third play of the game by Chris Hackett. Two plays later, the Frogs went all Boise State again on the Rebels when Kolby Listenbee took a lateral and fired a strike to Aaron Green for a 31-yard score.

It went downhill for Ole Miss from there. The dagger came when Wallace, having just escaped a safety by diving out to his own 2-yard line, was blitzed by Paul Dawson & Marcus Mallet and tried to intentionally ground the ball. He was in the back of the end zone – which, once the penalty was called, would’ve resulted in the safety for the Frogs.

Enter James McFarland. The defensive tackle made a diving catch of the ball in the end zone for the Tadpole touchdown. 28-0…game, set, match.

It’s a safe bet that TCU could probably have beaten all four of the so-called College Football Playoff teams. Like I said – this is nothing more than the BCS with two extra teams, and TCU has just shown that it could beat them all.

Okay, Denizens, so I’m a little late with this week’s Perfect Football Weekend, mkay? Bite Sue me. It’s not like I really had a lot of games to work with, y’know? (Although I prob’ly would have picked #22 USC to go over the Pelini-less Nebraska Cornhuskers, so we’ll go ahead and count that.)

We open up this week to find…that the consensus in Cleveland seems to be that the Browns are still looking for their franchise quarterback:

With coach Mike Pettine admitting this week that the Browns will have doubts about Johnny Manziel even if he hits “it out of the park” in the final two games and “a ton of doubts” if he doesn’t play well, the Browns will explore all of their options at quarterback, including trading up into the top five to draft Heisman Trophy winner Marcus Mariota.

Browns general manager Ray Farmer has repeatedly said that he’ll always explore every option at all positions — and Mariota is one glaring and tempting possibility for the Browns this offseason. The Browns have scouted him this season and will continue to do so.

This from the gang that drafted Johnny Football.

And then we wonder why some franchises never seem to get it.

Okay, let’s go. Cincinnati gets the wild card tonight, as they’re in Pittsburgh to play the Steelers for the AFC Central title…anyone who honestly thinks they’re gonna beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh…?

(crickets)

Yeah, thought so.

Wednesday, it’s Gary Patterson and his top-ranked sixth-ranked TCU Horned Frogs in the Georgia Dome to play the Peach Bowl versus Ole Miss. The Rebels should be respected – for one, they haven’t bowed (much) to political correctness, and still call themselves the Rebels. Secondly, they’re the only team this year to have beaten Alabama. That in itself raises an eyebrow or two.

Vegas right now has the Frogs as a 3½-point favorite. Means I won’t have any fingernails left by game’s end. Pisses me off, ’cause I have to work that day.

For the wildcards, we’ll take West Virginia in the Liberty Bowl over the Jekyll-and-Hyde Texas A&M Aggies (both teams will play backup quarterbacks; I’m betting WV’s are better than A&M’s), Dabo Sweeney’s 17th-ranked Clemson Tigers over the Oklahoma Sooners in the Russell Athletic Bowl (Bob Stoops’ season comes to a merciful end), 13th-ranked Georgia to feast on Louisville Cardinal in the Belk Bowl, and a tip o’ the hat to the Vicar, as #7 Mississippi State runs over Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl.

We’ll come back New Year’s Day with a recap, assuming the hangover isn’t too bad, and start another PFW right after that. GO FROGS!!!!

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.

Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.

While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger.

When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.

The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.

—Luke 2:1-20 (NASB)

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His holy Word.

Merry Christmas, Denizens. This season, more than any other – remember why.

Folks, I do not make it a point to post mu sermons online. Those sermons are for the Congregation God has given into my care, and not for the world as a whole, but as tomorrow is the celebration of our Lord’s earthly incarnation, I thought I would post this one. Our weekly readings are based on a three year lectionary, and I have included the readings.

2 Sam. 7:1-11,

1 Now when the king lived in his house and the LORD had given him rest from all his surrounding enemies, 2the king said to Nathan the prophet, “See now, I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells in a tent.” 3And Nathan said to the king, “Go, do all that is in your heart, for the LORD is with you.”

4But that same night the word of the LORD came to Nathan, 5″Go and tell my servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD: Would you build me a house to dwell in? 6I have not lived in a house since the day I brought up the people of Israel from Egypt to this day, but I have been moving about in a tent for my dwelling. 7In all places where I have moved with all the people of Israel, did I speak a word with any of the judges of Israel, whom I commanded to shepherd my people Israel, saying, “Why have you not built me a house of cedar?”‘ 8Now, therefore, thus you shall say to my servant David, ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts, I took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, that you should be prince over my people Israel. 9 And I have been with you wherever you went and have cut off all your enemies from before you. And I will make for you a great name, like the name of the great ones of the earth. 10And I will appoint a place for my people Israel and will plant them, so that they may dwell in their own place and be disturbed no more. And violent men shall afflict them no more, as formerly, 11 from the time that I appointed judges over my people Israel. And I will give you rest from all your enemies. Moreover, the LORD declares to you that the LORD will make you a house.

16 And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever.’”

Romans 16:25-27

25 Now to him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery that was kept secret for long ages 26but has now been disclosed and through the prophetic writings has been made known to all nations, according to the command of the eternal God, to bring about the obedience of faith— 27to the only wise God be glory forevermore through Jesus Christ! Amen.

Luke 1:26-38

Birth of Jesus Foretold

26In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, 27 to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. 28And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!” 29But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. 30And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

34And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

35And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy— the Son of God. 36And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.

As our Old Testament reading begins, King David has consolidated his power in Israel, and has driven out the foreign powers who had threatened Israel since the time of Joshua, has conquered Jerusalem and has made it his capital. Things have settled down a bit and David has been able to build himself a nice house. All in all things have come a long way from the days when he had to hide in a cave for fear of Saul’s anger.

Now that he is no longer off fighting wars and such, David becomes concerned that he is living in the palace of a king, while the Ark of the Covenant, the dwelling place of the Lord’s presence In Israel, still resides in a tent; David has seen to to it that the tent was a nice one, but still the Ark is relegated to a tent. As one who is anointed of the Lord, David is very aware that he is where he is because of what God has done, rather than because of his own military and political savvy, let alone his brilliance. It is very likely this realization, which causes him to be concerned that the Ark is still in a tent, instead of in a house far more suited to the Glory of God.

Most of us can probably understand David’s thoughts. David is an honorable, God fearing man, and he determines to give his God the honor he deserves, and tells the prophet Nathan that he is going to build a proper House for God. Nathan appears to have been a close confidante of David, in addition to being a prophet, and he tells David to “go for it”, that God will approve. Nathan understands David’s feelings, and recognizes that David’s desire is nothing more than to give God the glory he deserves, but God has other plans. That night God came to Nathan and gave Nathan those “other” instructions.

Here is where things get interesting.

Speaking through Nathan God points out to David all that he has done for him and for Israel, and then essentially he goes on to say “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” I am going to do still more! I am going to give Israel a permanent home, one where they will never again have to worry about being dislocated, and I am going to make your house, your line, the head of that nation! God’s exact words were: “I will make for you a great name, like the name of the great ones of the earth.”(2 Samuel 7:9) These words are eerily similar to what God said to Abram in Genesis(12:2) “And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.” God promised to make of Abram a great nation, and now he is promising to make David’s family the head of that nation. With the advantage of 20/20 hindsight and three thousand or so years of revelation and study, we know that these words are messianic in nature. We know that these words, both to Abram and to David were the promise of the Messiah.

As most of you know, I do not always put a title on my sermons, but I have titled this one “God’s Covenant With David”. What is happening here is that God is in essence reinforcing with David the covenant he had made with Abram.

What is a covenant?

A modern term for covenant would be agreement or contract. God was contracting with David to guard and to protect his children Israel, to make Israel his own, and he was contracting with with David for his family to head Israel forever. Covenants like Contracts are always two way. Each party brings something to the table. In this case God was promising to guard and to protect his children, and in return David and Israel promised to be faithful. Included in that promise of God’s was and is the promise of a redeemer, because we always seem to be in in breech of our part of the contract. That redeemer is what God is speaking of when he tells David that his line will be a house.

Think about that for a minute. This contract God made with David included a clause which held that when we fail to keep our end of the covenant, God would provide a means to declare us in compliance. That means is of course Jesus of Nazareth, who as God’s only begotten son is at the same time a direct descendant of David, and the creator of David. In other words despite our legal default on our contractual obligations, and also because Jesus, the begotten Son of God has given his life as the full penalty for our default, we are declared to be in compliance of our contractual obligations.

How does this relate to the Advent season we are just completing, and the Christmas season which will begin on Thursday? It is simple really. You and I are in default of our contract or covenant with God. We have not been faithful, but yet God has faithfully kept his end of the bargain, even providing the redemptive sacrifice by which he has declared us to be in compliance. It is the birth of that perfect sacrifice we are commemorating and celebrating. Beginning on Wednesday evening, we will celebrate the birth of a baby.

More importantly, we will celebrate the fulfilment of the promise first made by God that day so long ago in the Garden the Day that Adam and Eve first disobeyed him; yet even as we celebrate, even as we coo and laugh at the beauty of a new born babe, we remember the purpose of that babe, we remember that he was sent to be sacrificed on a Roman cross, and we give thanks to God that through that sacrifice we have the gift of eternal life.

In the world of man, when someone breaks a contract, he is sued, in God’s world when a man breaks the only contract we have with God, God takes upon himself the contractual penalties and declares us to be in compliance. If there is a better reason to rejoice, I cannot think of it!

May peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

_1._ An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 2014. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit:

_a._ Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative actions will be obtained through normal command channels. Mice stirring permits will be obtained through the office of OSURG, Veterinary Services.

_b._ Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200 hours, 24 December 2014. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900 hours, 24 December 2014.

_c._ Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing dining facility.

_d._ Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 2014, ATTN: AEAGA-S, for approval.

_e._ At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February 1995, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown prior to start of official clatter.

_f._ Prior to 2400, 24 December 2014, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye” stations. After shutters are thrown and sashes are torn, these stations will be manned.

_g. _ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8) deer, rein, tiny, for use of MG Claus’ driver who, in accordance with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be able to shout “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen.”

_2._ MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19 December 2009, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-In.

_3._ Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.” This shout will be given on termination of General Claus’ visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.

Well, Denizens, it’s bowl season, and that means that as a lead-in for this week’s Perfect Football Weekend™ – I got nothin’.

About the only thing really going on in football right now is that…well, here’s the backstory. Back in May, there was a lawsuit filed in federal court against the NFL that claimed that…

the league illegally supplied them with risky narcotics and other painkillers that numbed their injuries for games and led to medical complications down the road.

The lawsuit alleges that the league obtained and administered the drugs without prescriptions and without warning players of their potential side effects, to speed the return of injured players to the field and maximize profits. Players claim that they were never told about broken legs and ankles and instead were fed pills to mask the pain. One says that instead of surgery, he was given anti-inflammatories and skipped practices so he could play in money-making games. And others say that after years of free pills from the NFL, they retired from the league addicted to the painkillers.

Well, I can’t find the link on it, but I was listening to the Ben Ferguson Show on WBAP yesterday on the way to work, and according to Fergie, a judge dismissed the suit.

(shrug) Meh.

Okay, let’s get to it. Bowl season starts…

MERLIN: Ahem.

VENOMOUS: Yes, Wizard?

MERLIN: The Core Teams…?

Well, there’s only one – Cincinnati hosts Denver Monday night, and Peyton’s gonna torch the Bengal secondary, and Andy’s probably not gonna look too good against John Fox’s defense; thus, so much for the PFW.

So for the wildcard games, we’re doing Nevada over Louisiana-Lafayette in the New Orleans Bowl (always take the Mountain West team against any Sun Belt team), Utah State over UTEP in the New Mexico Bowl (ditto for the MWC over Conference USA), 22nd-ranked Utah over Colorado State in the Lost Wages Las Vegas Bowl (the Utes always used to dominate the Rams in the MWC; no reason they shouldn’t continue to), Air Force to run roughshod over Western MIchigan in the Potato Bowl (Western Michigan? Really?) and BigamY U. to cream Memphis Monday night in the Miami Beach Bowl. (The Miami Beach Bowl??? Really???)

We’re back Tuesday or so with the recap. In the meantime…Vicar, have you ever thought about using football tie-ins in your sermons?

Army made a game of things, too. Either that, or Navy’s QB isn’t very good this year.

In any event, the game was a lot closer than it should’ve been. The Middies pulled it out after trailing most of the day.

—

For a moment, it looked like the FairyWhiners were going to be able to shove the ball down the Seahags’ throat at will. But Gore’s touchdown was all they would get.

—

Peyton had the flu. Didn’t matter much.

—

As predicted, ARRRRRRRRRR GEEEEEEEEEEEE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE started in place of Weenie Boy McCoy.

As predicted, it didn’t matter.

—

Memo to Cleveland: If it’s any consolation, Troy Aikman was shut out by N’awlins in his rookie debut, too.

—

Wonderful. Where was this Cowgirl team on Thanksgiving?

This week: 6-1. Overall: 73-24-1.

I’ll look through the schedule, see if there are any college games next week, but there’s gonna be pretty slim pickin’s until bowl season starts up next week. That said, the PFW will be back Friday or so.

Denizens, as we begin this somewhat-lighter-schedule Perfect Football Weekend, I reflect on the problem associated with waiting too long to comment on an issue of the day: Everyone else has already beaten me to the punch and said everything I was going to say.

Here’s the deal: As you already know, TCU was shafted out of its rightful place in the first College Football National Championship Playoff by a half-assed, ball-less, dickless set of wonders known as the College Football Playoff Committee. (Notable on this august body (*cough*) is the presence of one Condeleeza Rice. (Yeah, that Condi Rice – W’s old Secretary of State. One pretty damn good reason not to trust it.))

This motley crew decided, in its infinite wisdom (*coughbullshitcough*), not only to drop TCU out of its playoff grouping in favor of Ohio State, but also to drop the Frogs to sixth, behind Baylor.

Now, from the committee’s point of view, I sorta-kinda see why they’d favor an Ohio State, especially after their 59-0 shellacking they gave Bucky. (Which rather goes to show that: 1) Bucky wasn’t that good to begin with – if you have Joel Stave as your starting QB, you can’t be very good, and 2) if your conference’s second-best team can’t score in a championship game, how strong is your conference, really?)

What pisses me off, however, is that after all the props I give them for ignoring the shitty officiating that cost TCU against Baylor, they drop TCU based on (their claim) “head-to-head” – then they say that they couldn’t make a determination on that until after the Cubtwats played K-State – trying to claim “body of work”, as it were.

Okay, so let me see if I have this straight: TCU is three spots ahead of Baylor prior to the Cubshits playing K-State. Baylor beat K-State by 11.

TCU beat K-State by 21.

And that earns the Frogs a ranking below the Cubturds? The same bunch of pussies that went the very next week and lost to the same West Virginia team that TCU beat? On the very same field where the Frogs beat them?

Five of the top six teams have a loss, and TCU has the only loss that matters in this final poll. That’s quite a system.

It is, for all intents & purposes, the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) all over again – just with two extra teams. And it left out – again – the one team that could have beaten the fuck out of all of them, including Florida State.

Fuck you, BCS II.

On with the football. Cincy’s the only Core Team playing this week, and they’ll be the first victim of the Johnny Football Era, as Manziel makes his first start at home against the Ben-gals. And the way Andy’s playing nowadays, Manziel will likely be the better quarterback on the field tomorrow.

The wildcards: North Dakota State hosting Coastal Carolina in the NCAA FCS Championship semifinals (the Bison are up 24-20 as I write this, and I like their 21-game home streak to continue); Army vs. Navy (the Black Knights may beat the Middies some day…but, as Gowron once said, “not today”. Besides, had it not been for my round gut & my flat feet, I’d have been a swabbie twenty years ago. GO NAVY!!!)…and in the NFL tomorrow, the Cowgirlz will once again get their asses kicked by the Phuckadelphia Beagles (Allas – no D – still has no secondary), the NY Football Douchebags hosting the WASHINGTON REDSKINS, DAMMIT!!!!!! (look for ARRRRR GEEEEEEE THREEEEEEE!!!!!! to start if Weenie-Boy McCoy can’t – not that it’ll matter), the San Transsexual FairyWhiners on the road against the Seattle Seahags (Russell Wilson’s bunch beginning to put it all back together), Denver on the road against the San Diego…Super-Char-gers (Manning torches the SD secondary again), and the General’s Houston Texans on the road againt the Indian-hapless Horseshoes (doesn’t matter who the Texans start – Luck’s better).

We’re back Monday or so for a short recap. In the meantime…a question for the Vicar: How many points do you want from TCU?

Cincinnati was actually leading at the end of three in this game, 21-17. Then not only did the defense collapse, so did Andy & the offense.

Cincy’s probably officially sorry they gave Dalton that fat contract.

—

Memo to Mizzou: Offense wins games…defense wins championships.

—

Oh, great. Now SMUT wins a game.

If Kennycut hated the Shitland Ponies before… (shakes head)

—

Stoopes went conservative at the end of the game, then Michael Hunnicutt went all Ross Evans again and missed a chip shot.

They’re beginning to call for Stoopes’ head up in Norman.

—

Everyone seems to be marveling at how badly the Buckeyes manhandled Bucky, and I have to admit – the final score is rather disquieting.

But look at it this way: Wisconsin is a one-dimensional team. That dimension is named Melvin Gordon.

Joel Stave is not a college-caliber quarterback. You will not see this kid playing on Sunday, ever – unless, possibly, it’s as a safety in a defensive backfield. For Jacksonville. The kid couldn’t even start for the Cowgirlz, this is how bad he is.

So what Ohio State did was to load up the box against Melvin Gordon, and dare Stave to beat them. And – not surprisingly – he couldn’t.

—

The one thing I disliked about the Frogs’ victory over the Cyclones is the first touchdown – a long lateral back to receiver David Porter, who then threw it back to Trevone Boykin on a trick-play forward pass, whereupon Boykin raced, untouched, to the end zone.

Just like Smurf Turf Bullshit State would have drawn it up.

Lookit. I’m of the old school – line ‘em up, eleven-on-eleven, this-is-what’s-coming-try-to-stop-it, and let’s see who the better team is on a given day. For a team (coughBoiseStatecough) to have to rely on trickery, to me, is an indication of just how inferior that team is. TCU is head-and-shoulders better than Iowa State, anyway – did they really need to pull that on them?

Sad.

This week: 2-4. Overall: 67-23-1.

The PFW will return Saturday morning. I’m working on a Majorly Fucking Hellacious Rant, and anyone associated with the College Football Playoff System should probably don their asbestos Underoos for it.

It helps, though, if you have Microsoft Internet Explorer set about 1024x768 1280x1024 with your Favorites window activated on the left deactivated. (At least until I can get a better handle on how WordPress works.)