Am I BEC or is my MIL BSC ?? *long rant*

So I was playing candy crush on my dh's fb & his mother messages him, reminding him we owe her boss money for the couch we bought from her. That's fine, we've paid the last 2 weeks on time & this is the final week . Whatever. Then she follows that up with " *boss name* is broke, she can't afford gas or lunch, so PLEASEE make sure you pay her on time this time, it makes me look really bad when you can't pay her on time & rosiesmum said you would pay this much a week, so please make sure you pay her on FRIDAY. PLEASSSSE"
Umm.. The fuck ? & she said the same thing last week too? We've paid on time the last 2 weeks so I don't know why she thinks we're not ?
But that's not all ! I read back farther in the messages cause I'm a snoop, so sue me lol she asked dh (dear husband) for money to pay her car insurance , because her boyfriend just left her & he told her he's been paying bills when he hadn't been. & she wanted money for smokes & wine . We just moved into a new place 3 weeks ago.. We don't have 2 dimes to rub together right now & she wants her son to lend her $100 for car insurance & smokes ? Fat chance. Dh never replied to that message until after she said shed called the bank & they'd cover it, he said "sorry I didn't get your messages till now" & she goes "it's fine, the bank covered it, but if they hadn't I wouldn't be so forgiving" .....
& lastly, her parents 60th anniversary is coming up, dh (dear husband) never mentioned anything about it to me , & he doesn't have too, it's his family but this is probably why ,

MIL: "hi honey, so mom and dad's 60th anniversary is next month and I think they'd really appreciate it if you and lo came :) I don't expect rosiesmum to come, but we'd love for you to be there xoxox"

DH: "I'll think about it"

MIL: " okay dear :) I hope the new place is going well, I peeked in your windows when I dropped the tables off, rosiesmum wasn't home. It looks really nice! I hope you and rosiesmum are able to "get together" more now that you've got your own place!"

... There are just so many lines crossed right there I'm beyond pissed, but don't want to start a fight with dh (dear husband) by messaging her & telling her exactly what I think about it all.. Cause it won't be pleasant. She's deffinitley my BEC ! But am I over reacting by being pissed about this? Or should I talk to her and tell her to butt out?

Comments (12)

From his terse and limited reply it sounds like your DH (dear husband) is pretty annoyed with her too. I would probably wait this out until she does something to you directly and then call her on it on the spot.

If you aren't invited, neither is your lo. No relationship with mom means no relationship with the child, and instead of acting like what she was said was okay, your husband should have informed her that he doesn't go anywhere that his wife/gf/df isn't welcome.

If you aren't invited, neither is your lo. No relationship with mom means...

Posted
10/17/2014

If you aren't invited, neither is your lo. No relationship with mom means no relationship with the child, and instead of acting like what she was said was okay, your husband should have informed her that he doesn't go anywhere that his wife/gf/df isn't welcome.

Also, get blinds, and I'd just BH everything else and go lc with her.

Lo is ebf & she hates bottles, so she's deffinitley not going anywhere without me ! No worries there

I'd ignore it. Your dh (dear husband) isn't bringin got to you so it doesn't exist. No reason to bring it up if dh (dear husband) isn't. Just keep it in the back of your mind that she is against you and make your decisions accordingly. My our dh (dear husband) is dealing with this fine, he's shutting her down and not bringing it to you, don't confront him over what she is saying.

--

~ Cara

Mom to two guys, 22 (the College Student) and 20 (the Special Olympian)

I completely sympathize on the $$ part- my MIL (mother-in-law) lives with my SIL, receives $1200 a month and has no bills (no insurance/phone bill) at all. She is the master of asking my DH (dear husband) if she can come visit and then letting it be known (sneakily) that she only has $5 in the bank so no $$ for gas, cigarettes, etc. I haven't figured out the best way to deal with that honestly so I've been letting my DH (dear husband) just deal with it. Though my friend suggested putting someone like that on a budget. I.e. "MIL, we can only afford to help you out with $50 a month" or whatever the amount is. And just be direct.

The get together thing? eeew... not sure what else to say but that. I would honestly just ignore that. Every time my DH (dear husband) and I would go out of town on a little trip or something or one of his gigs (he's a musician), she would text him and say she hopes the hotel bed is a good "baby making bed." EEEEWWWW

I completely sympathize on the $$ part- my MIL just deal with it. Though my friend suggested putting someone like that on a budget. I.e. "MIL, we can only afford to help you out with $50 a month" or whatever the amount is. And just be direct.

The get together thing? eeew... not sure what else to say but that. I would honestly just ignore that. Every time my DH and I would go out of town on a little trip or something or one of his gigs (he's a musician), she would text him and say she hopes the hotel bed is a good "baby making bed." EEEEWWWW

Oh no no no no....no to budgeting for anyone that is not your family especially if it is a favour like money for gas or smoke or whatever...then people think they are entitle to the money...

And OP (original poster) your DH (dear husband) is handling it very well with limited or no response so let him continue with it (unless he decides to lend her money)

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