Category Archives: Parenting After Loss

When we found out we were pregnant with Noah, I was instantly sad for him. Sad that he would never grow up with his sister, play with her, take pictures with her, drive her crazy, etc. Sad for all those memories he would never have the chance to make. But now that he’s here and starting to interact more with other kids, I’m sad for him in a whole different way.

Noah is only around other kids at school, at church, and when he plays with his cousins. Maybe 10ish hours a week. And, I think he has a hard time around other kids. Honestly, probably no harder than most kids who are learning to share and be nice to others, but it hurts my heart to watch him struggle with his sinful nature. It’s hard because his limited interactions with other kids shouldn’t be the only time he’s around kids his age. He should have a sister at home to learn these skills with. He should be learning to share and play nicely with her. But he can’t, because his sister isn’t here. He’s the little brother who lives the life of an only child.

I know that even if Hannah was here, he wouldn’t be a perfect child. She wouldn’t be a perfect child. They would both struggle with sin, and I’m sure it would be more difficult for me. But maybe it would make things easier for him. He’d still have to learn not to hit and bite when he doesn’t get his way, how to let others take a turn, how to share mommy’s attention, but the majority of that would be done at home. Maybe he would be more comfortable around other kids…and maybe I would feel more comfortable when he plays with others.

I hate knowing that I can’t just fix this for him. I don’t think there is an easy way to get through this age. This toddler stage is so much fun and incredibly frustrating at the same time. You just have to be consistent and patient and pray…a lot. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

About Me

My name is Amanda, and I am a child of God. I love to read, cook, and spend time with my family. My husband, Zach, is my best friend! Our daughter, Hannah, is in heaven, and our son, Noah, just turned a year old. We also have a miniature dachshund named Penny. This is my journey on living with grief and finding hope.