I need help with the issues of interaction at workplace.

by goldie
(Valley stream, NY)

Dear Mike,

For a long time I am being troubled by couple of problem areas in my nature and I was hoping that you could throw some light on it. My first problem is that when a person talks rude to me it bothers me so much that I raise the issue with management and make a big deal out of it. I have left many lucrative jobs on this issue. I am already aware of the fact that the physical and mental abuse by my mother till the age of 15 has a lot to do with my weak self esteem. And I am also aware of the fact that the rudeness of the person only reflects his own problem and not mine. However it does not help. It bothers me very much that the same person talks to others very politely while being so rude only to me. How can I deal with this? How do other people handle it when someone talks rude to them while being polite with others? Do they just ignore it?

My second problem is that on many jobs I always meet someone who befriends me dearly and take out personal info to spread it around. When they spread info that reflects my weaknesses, I see peoples' attitude changing towards me. They become less respectful to me. I feel very vulnerable after that. I get angry at that person who gossips about me. Everything goes downhill from that point. It bothers me very much that when I do not gossip or interfere with other people, why some people play such cons on me. In short I feel victimized most of the time. Once again I know it has a lot to do with the self esteem. What I want to know is how other successful and balanced people handle it?