We see “the big kiss” in movies all the time—upside down feat. Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, over the birthday cake in Sixteen Candles, from behind on the ship’s bow in Titanic—but in our real-life lip-to-lip encounters, it can often be difficult to ascertain whether the fuck we’re doing it right or not. In this situation, science is your friend. According to an article in Time, 59% of men and 66% of women have ended relationships on account of poor smooch skills, so it’d be in your best interest to read on for tips backed by research.

Hygiene up.

This might sound obvious, but many of us take for granted just how important oral hygiene is: According to William Kane’s The Art of Kissing, women tend to enjoy kissing clean-shaven men (it hurts less) with good oral hygiene.

Initiate, and well.

Says Time, “it’s a matter of breaking into your partner’s personal space in a plausibly deniable way and gauging their reaction.” Instead of going in for the kill, build up the tension and drop signals; this will help you figure out whether she’d wanna kiss you back. Our ace suggestions? Stroke her hair and gently push a strand away from her face. Or look intently at her lips, look back into her eyes, and see how she reacts.

Smell nice.

Pheromones, or hormones that are capable of activating outside of the human body, are an underestimated element in a kiss. Call them “sex scent signals,” if you will. Now, you can’t control the blend of pheromones our bodies secrete, but you can simulate that effect by wearing cologne generally loved by women—according to a story in British Vogue, scents that are musky, clean, masculine, maybe even a bit leathery.

Relax with that tongue.

Kane mentions thatwomen’s number one complaint was men who make it their life’s mission to jam their tongue down women’s throats. On your end, more tongue action might mean more intensity, meaning the kiss is hotter. The key is to think about your girl and the physical sensations you’re giving her. If you’re simulating a blowjob at this point, something ain’t right. Tongue action is welcome, but only when it’s shallow (go deeper if invited—trust us, you’ll be able to tell) and sensual.

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Another great point from The Art of Kissing: When you’re locking lips with a woman, you’re focused on her mouth, but it’s also important to listen to the way her breath hitches, her little moans, and anything that gives you clues about her breathing patterns. Hot MOMOL sessions can make it hard for either of you to breathe, so be sure to pull back periodically. To make this less awkward, smile when you pull back. Women love feeling your smile on their lips.

Explore.

Again, kissing places the focus of the action on the mouth, but you can amp up the intensity by focusing on other nearby parts of her body. According to Kane, more than half of the women he interviewed loved to be kissed on the neck. Try giving some attention to her ears and earlobes, her shoulders. Kissing her forehead and cheeks before going for the lips adds to the anticipation as well.

Use those hands.

Kane’s final note: Men shouldn’t be afraid of touching a woman while they’re making out. Stroke her shoulders and her neck. Run your fingers through her hair. Wrap your arms around her waist and pull her closer to you. Stay away from her breasts and crotch unless otherwise invited. Mixing in more than just mouth action adds sincerity to the kiss.