I would like to apologize right off for attempting to grab your attention with a deceptive chapter title, but I am competing with thousands of news sites and have to fight "clickbait" with "clickbait" if I'm to stand a chance against them. Actually I'm not, that's another lie...I'm not competing with anyone at all, in fact...it just seemed fun to say that. The good news is that there is no fake news on this blog, and the better news is that there's no actual news on this blog at all! Just fun and sometimes odd stories.

The deceptive title of this chapter would imply that my new beautiful gatekeeper Madeleine and I are already at odds with one another and that she has already begun acting as a dictator. She is a bit bossy and blunt, of course, but only in a loving way. And I am thick-headed and enjoy resisting authority. For sure there is a new sheriff in town, but it might not be such a bad thing for me...as I hope the reader will see as the chapter now truly begins:

My sun greeting began as I approached Achilles' Last Stand, predictably enough. And, predictably enough, it was already well into the sun greeting. Madeleine was on the ground not far from the gate and appeared to be digging a hole. Before I could ask her what she was doing, she had already jumped up, dusted dirt off her talons, and handed me a clipboard with several papers and wished me a good sun greeting. As I looked over the paper on top, I asked her, "Garden Gate Activity Log?!"

"Yes, Kev, I just need you to read through it and sign on the bottom acknowledging that you reviewed it," Madeleine replied, and added, "Since you are so fond of sleeping, I want to be sure you are properly updated on the garden's activities you have missed." Then she hopped off and went back to apparently digging a hole.

"Couldn't you just tell me the important stuff when you see me, like Raven used to do?" I asked, and added, "And are we going to be doing this every sun greeting?" Though I questioned her, I did continue to read through the Activity Log.

Without turning her head to look at me or interrupting her mysterious task, she said bluntly, "I could, yes. But I'm not Raven, and I'm not going to have you accusing me of not telling you something important. As to the frequency of the Garden Gate Activity Log, we will only need to do one on those sun greetings in which you sleep."

I decided that humoring her was the best strategy for now, though in my mind I was open to resisting this later on. I read though some of its contents and commented, "Oh, I see dear Caesar Emeritus and Ptolemy stopped by...how nice! Oh! And I'm to see the attached homework packet. Lovely. Holy crap! 14 forest fairies have already stopped by the garden gate this sun greeting?!"

Madeleine hopped up again and dusted off her talons and began rifling through a burlap sack as she looked at me only for a second and said, "Yes, Caesar and Ptolemy are off to the Lemmington Town Square for some sort of public story reading, and Ptolemy of course wanted to tag along and promote his Ptolemyce Cream. The homework, it appears, has something to do with a treasure hunt of sorts. It seems Caesar Emeritus came upon some interesting Xanaduvian scrolls and was hoping you could shed some light on them." Then Madeleine started counting out seeds she had retrieved from the bottom of the burlap sack and continued, "14 fairies are much less than the usual, based on the information Raven provided me with. It seems they check in constantly to see if Andrew has come by lately. I was very clever though! I started an online forum for them and promised to update them immediately of his presence from here on out if they agreed to register as my AOL Instant Messenger contacts. Good, huh?" Madeleine by now had dropped the seeds in the hole and started shoveling dirt on top of them. She seemed quite satisfied with herself. "You see, they'll stop bothering us at the gate all the time, plus we'll have eyes all over Interterrestria now as they will consider me their friend."

"That's brilliant, my beautiful gatekeeper!" I said enthusiastically, and I meant that. It was a brilliant and efficient plan. "But can I ask what it is you're planting there by the gate?"

Madeleine smiled at me proudly and replied, "Kale."

I scrunched up my face a bit--not on purpose--it's just my natural reaction to it. And I clarified, "The wrinkly weird leafy thing? It's not very pretty, you know."

Madeleine chuckled as she replied, "It's not for decoration, silly...it's for eating! It's very healthy you know. I'm quite sure you'll enjoy it."

I cringed, and I think my stomach fell over on its side. "You mean you expect ME to eat it? Oh no, not me," I resisted. "I'm just not a weird wrinkly greens kind of dude, you know."

Madeleine wasted no time responding, "Well I happen to like it, and maybe you should be! You're not getting any younger, you know?"

I was almost annoyed, and rebuked her, "You know very well we don't age in the Xanadu Forest unless we choose to, and that we don't believe in or observe time!"

"Quite right you are Kev, thank you for the correction. What I meant to say was, you aren't getting any thinner," she quipped. And she had me there. I wondered for a moment whether there might be some sort of magic in the forest that could make kale taste like nachos. And crunch like them too.

I grumbled a bit under my breath, much like Edwin the Bee often does with me, but I continued on with the Garden Gate Activity Log, "It says here Mitzy stopped by and delivered the surveillance equipment! What's that about?"

"Oh yes, we're installing high resolution cameras all over the garden...all of them fed directly into my computer so that I'll be able to monitor all the garden's activity with no trouble at all. Cousin Eddie has already installed some of them." Then she walked me over to her desk, Achilles' Last Stand, tapped a couple of keys, and showed me, "See? Cool, huh?"

"Actually, it's a bit unsettling, Madeleine, to be honest," I explained. Then I freaked, "Hey! That's the Persian rug! You mean you're going to be watching me sleep? Now that's just creepy, Madeleine. I don't like this at all!"

"Oh, come on Kev," Madeleine said in a fun and carefree way, and she punched me in the arm playfully and continued, "Are you afraid I might see you do something embarrassing upon the Persian rug? You have nothing to fear...Raven already filled me in on your quirks. And don't think she didn't watch you sleep! She most certainly did... but she did it with her own eyes which is even creepier if you ask me!"

That was an interesting and valid point, Madeleine had. I had never thought about it, but I'm sure Raven was watching me sleep. It was pretty creepy, wasn't it? I guess it's good I had never thought about it before. But would it be strange now that I would forever be conscious of it? I would have to leave myself open to resisting this later on, I decided within myself. But I would hold my peace for now. I nodded halfheartedly in Madeleine's direction, and let out a long, slow breath.

Madeleine spun my shoulders around and took off her glasses, and looked deep into my eyes, "Look, I know some things are going to be different around here, and I know not all of it is going to be easy for you to adjust to. But we don't have any choice. The fact of the matter is, I'm a Peahen, not a Raven...I can't get around like her. I can't soar the skies and see things like she was able to do." Then she chuckled and put her glasses back on, and concluded, "And obviously, my vision isn't as sharp as hers either!" And she slapped me on the shoulder and sat down upon her desk. "We'll make this work, you'll see," she assured me finally.

And I believed her, and felt comforted...though I also considered she might be well versed in the art of brainwashing. Then it hit me, and I asked, "Peahen?! What is a Peahen? I thought you were a Peacock!"

Madeleine laughed and nearly fell off of Achilles' Last Stand, "I'm a girl Peacock, silly--a Peahen! I never bothered correcting you before because I wasn't your gatekeeper before. Don't feel bad, it's a common mistake." And she typed away on her keyboard.

Just then Cousin Eddie the Raven zipped up to us in his remote control patrol jeep and tumbled out of its seat and rolled on to the ground. "Good sun greeting, guys!" Cousin Eddie cracked open yet another can of beer and tossed one to me. I looked at Madeleine before I cracked it open, wondering if she might protest this, but she said nothing. Cousin Eddie and I happily toasted and chugged our beers and tossed the empty cans into the little cart behind his remote control patrol jeep. It was nice to see that at least some things would remain the same around here.

Cousin Eddie updated Madeleine on the progress he'd made installing the surveillance cameras, and they both seemed pleased. Then he turned to me and asked, "I could use your help installing the master cam atop the crow's nest, if you don't mind, Kev?" Then he retrieved another can of beer and cracked it open as he continued, "It's a big, heavy camera. Pretty sweet though--and it's actually 4 cameras in one! Total 360 vision! And according to the manual that came with it, the camera can spot the veins of a leaf in high resolution from many miles away! Nice, huh?!" Then he finished off his beer and tossed the can into the cart.

I was genuinely impressed. Leave it to Cousin Eddie to make a surveillance state awesome and fun! "That is awesome, Cousin Eddie!" I finally replied, and added, "I think we should put on a Van Halen record and play it loudly, and finish rigging those cameras!" I winked at Madeleine and blew her a silly kiss, and chased after Cousin Eddie who had already disappeared into the brush in his remote control patrol jeep.

Life is pretty sweet.I'm a lucky dude.Thank you. All of you!I love you.

It was lovely waking up from the Persian rug and finding sweet Madeleine the albino peacock near the garden gate. Then I realized she was sitting upon Achilles' Last Stand (the mammoth two-tiered tree stump my lovely gatekeeper uses as a desk). Then I remembered that a strict no-visitors-permitted-in-my-sacred-garden rule was still in effect. My smile vanished as I approached the desk, and considered various possibilities--and their respective probabilities--that could explain this. None of them were good. Cousin Eddie zipped by me in his remote control patrol jeep and bid me good sun greeting and vanished into the brush. I waved, but my response was delayed, and I'm not sure he saw my weak reply.

I finally reached Achilles' Last Stand, and stood silently by Madeleine's side for a moment or few, and I watched her type away on her computer, which, just last sun greeting, was upon her desk in the county clerk's office. For those new to these stories, you see, sweet Madeleine is my boss, the county clerk. And I am her assistant, the assistant county clerk. There also had been some romantic...umm...exchanges between us lately, and the more fervently inclined regions of my heart had grown quite fond of her. I realize, of course, that romance between a human and an albino peacock is a strange and uncommon concept...but our lovely Xanadu Forest is a strange and uncommon place.

Sweet Madeleine finally stopped typing for a moment, pushed up her glasses, and gratefully broke the awkward silence, "Happy, sun greeting, Kev. Yes, Raven is gone. Your lovely gatekeeper has returned to her family, which is good and proper."

My heart sank nearly to the core of existence much more quickly than the speed of light, for I feared the answer to the question I was about to ask...but I asked anyway, "Did she say when she is coming back?"

Madeleine is a loving and compassionate soul, but she is never one to mince words or to beat around the bush. So she simply replied, "She's not. She's not coming back, Kev." Then after that, she shouted, "Hey! Where are you going?!"...for I had turned and walked away.

I shouted back, "I'm going back to the Persian rug, and I'm going to lie down and try standing up again, because this is obviously some sort of misguided and vivid dream!" I did just as I had shouted I would, and returned to Achilles' Last Stand a few moments later, at a complete loss for words.

Madeleine put her wing upon my shoulder, and spoke gently, "I've gotten to know you pretty well by now, Kev. I know how you're feeling, and I have a good idea what you're thinking this moment too. It's time for you to trust me. It's going to be okay."

I replied, "But why wouldn't she tell me herself instead of just vanishing? Our love for one another has always been deep. She has been with me since the very beginning."

Madeleine adjusted her glasses and looked deep into my eyes. I felt her power for the first time just that moment--a tremendous power--a reassuring power. Intimidating, but in a beautiful and nurturing sort of way. Then she spoke softly, "Kev, you are a gentle and highly sensitive soul. You would have guilted her into staying, and that would have been a terrible thing for both of you. She still loves you, and she knows that you love her. That is what really matters. You know well that people come in and out of our lives all the time for all sorts of reasons. A new sun greeting has arrived for both of you. Accept it. Embrace it. Learn to adore it. You'll see." And sweet Madeleine's warm smile reached down into the deepest part of my soul and lifted my heart out of the slimy pit just like that.

I was suddenly more grateful for sweet Madeleine's presence in my life than I ever had been before...and that's saying a lot! It felt natural, proper...and very comforting. I was grateful I was able to smile back at her the way that she smiled at me, for it was most appropriate. Then I suddenly noticed an envelope next to the computer, written upon it in Raven's handwriting, "From #1 to #2." I reached for the envelope, but Madeleine slapped my hand away and spoke sternly, "Uh, no. That's for me, not for you! Just you never mind."

A thousand questions or more rocketed to the front of my mind--many of them very good and happy questions. Some of the questions...well, um, they were still valid you know! My eyes opened wider, and the corners of my mouth began to curl upward as I asked sweet Madeleine, "So you're going to be my gatekeeper now?" I felt very much like a young child as those words passed my lips.

Sweet Madeleine laughed, and took off her glasses, and spoke, "Well, you're pretty dense sometimes, and are often too emotional to make quality decisions. You're going to need a gatekeeper. I was nearby, and since we've got the county clerk's office network connected through the garden servers anyway, it seemed a natural transition. And, since I'm sure you'll be wondering, yes, I am still your boss. You would do well not to forget that!"

I assured sweet Madeleine I would not forget that she was my boss, and another thought crept into my mind: "If I remember correctly, there are some codes and rules regarding gatekeepers and the nature of their relationships with the gardens they watch over."

Madeleine wisely anticipated my thoughts and wisely replied, "Yes, you remember correctly. And yes, I liked you too...liked you liked you, of course, as you have like liked me. But we will have to put that behind us now. Breaking the gatekeepers' code would be a terrible thing for both of us...it could even destroy your entire sacred garden. But we will adapt, and our love for one another will never have run deeper than it will from here on out. Trust me."

I was genuinely happy, and I smiled warmly as I replied, "I do trust you, Madeleine. It feels right. You were brought into my sacred garden for a reason, and you will make a wonderful gatekeeper...you already ARE, in fact! But I have to admit, I don't feel right calling you 'my lovely gatekeeper.' It feels like that name should be retired for eternity." Madeleine put her glasses back on and nodded in agreement. I concluded, "What if I were to call you my beautiful gatekeeper? Would that be okay?"

Madeleine smiled softly at me and said, "Yes, that would be perfect. Thank you, Kev."

I thanked my beautiful gatekeeper back, and realized it was time to clarify one last detail: "Just to be clear, this means I can't play dress-up with your wardrobe in the county clerk's office anymore, right?" I asked.

Madeleine surprised me with her answer, "I don't see it causing any harm...so long as I don't know about it." And she went back to typing upon Achilles' Last Stand.

I said "Sweet!" very softly under my breath and turned and started walking toward the garden gate.

"Where are you going?" asked Madeleine.

I chuckled and winked and answered, "To the county clerk's office of course...to double check on those files that probably need filing, you know. No appointments today, my beautiful gatekeeper, thank you."

I distinctly heard Edwin the Bee upon His lotus flower grumble at me as I exited my sacred garden, but I also detected a sneaky warm smile from Him. I told him I loved Him, and so began the next set of chapters in my life.

The first thing you might notice about this chapter is that it doesn't have a chapter number. That's because it's not actually a chapter; it's an explanation of changes that have found their way into my Sacred Garden that will affect the stories from here on out...well, one change, specifically, that is likely to cause further unforeseen changes over time.

It's so hard, and feels so strange to type these words, but it's time I just say it: my lovely gatekeeper and I have parted ways. There was a time not so long ago I would have thought it was impossible for my Sacred Garden to continue without her presence in it. But now (thanks to her teachings and guidance, ironically enough), I know that my Sacred Garden will and MUST continue on, even if I were to become its only real life inhabitant. I'm not going to repeat the things that have already been explained in the Introduction to these stories; but let it be known these stories would never have come to light were it not for the lovely gatekeeper's presence in my life. Should I live for a thousand years, it still wouldn't be enough time to express the profound love and gratitude I will always carry in my heart for her.

I don't want to go into the specifics of our parting here, for it would serve no purpose other than to foster division and make the ground fertile for excuses--two things I know well both of us will always despise. I'm explaining this now because in Chapter 21, which I will write another day in the near future, the story will reflect an inaccurate portrayal of how my lovely gatekeeper and I came to part ways...and it felt important to my heart that readers know I have no intention to deceive them or excuse my own behavior. You see, it was I that initiated the breakup, and I gave her no voice in the decision. She didn't abandon me, and I don't believe she ever would...it's important to my heart that I say that to all of you. What is right and wrong I may never know, but I know without a doubt that I didn't handle the situation properly...and knowing my heart as I do, I likely never would have. The ending was not fair to her. That is the truth as I feel it in my heart. And now my heart feels me teetering very close to offering up lame and egocentric excuses, so I'm going to leave it right there.

For those of you that knew of our unique and special relationship, I want you to know that we did email one another and confirm that we will always love one another and will always wish only good things for one another. And, most importantly, that we will always remember. The memories, the stories...they remain eternal.

This is not an ending, it's a new beginning--for all parties involved...and may we always be committed to spreading only positive energy--best as we can in our human condition. People come into our lives all the time for any number of reasons, and almost all of them will leave our lives--also for any number of reasons (yes, I learned that from my lovely gatekeeper, of course!) I shall continue to believe and say that Fate knows what it's doing, and that Love will always prevail. Thank you all for being there, every single one of you that has been a part of my journey in this world. And thank you for letting me say these things. My heart has really needed it.