Laura Kaplan Shanley

SENSUAL PREGNANCY

I loved being pregnant! I felt sexy and sensual, busty and beautiful. And every time I gazed upon my expanding belly I was reminded of that glorious act of love that had led to my baby's conception.

Strangely enough, however, pregnant women are often looked upon as asexual. Maternity clothes are generally designed to hide a woman's figure, rather than accentuate it. Tops are more apt to have Peter Pan collars than swooping necklines. Although the very fact that a woman is pregnant means that she has had sex, society tends to view her as anything but sexual. It's as if she is suddenly expected to stop being a lover and start being a mother - and a virginal one at that.

The problem with this line of thinking is that first of all, it's no fun, and secondly, it's unhealthy both physically and psychologically. Having sex and feeling sexual are crucial to a woman's sense of well-being. Pregnant women need to know and be told how beautiful they are - because, in truth, they are. Pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding are integral parts of a woman's sex life. Accepting this fact will make all of them more pleasurable. Here are some quotes about the sensuality of pregnancy.

And as his seed sprang in her, his soul sprang towards her too, in the creative act that is far more than procreative.

— D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

I never feel as sexy as I do when pregnant! I chase my poor hubby around the whole 9 months! Dr. Carolyn Rawlings says, (a) God could have plugged the vagina instead of the cervix if He didn’t want us to have sex; and (b) the female genitalia are engorged during pregnancy so it takes less stimulation to bring orgasm. And doctors try to tell you not to have intercourse the last few weeks. Why? Risk of infection, or because they find it distasteful? (Funny, they don’t worry about the infection THEY risk with all those vaginal exams!)

— From a letter to the editor by Sheila Stubbs, Two Attune, Issue #2

Many women find pregnancy a sexual and erotic time and may even experience full orgasm for the first time. Ironically it is the one time when you can make love with abandon and without any need for contraception. Experiencing orgasm is perfectly safe, and probably beneficial in tonifying the uterus and preparing your body for birth, which is in itself an orgasmic release. The period of blissful relaxation that may follow orgasm is calming and energizing and will produce a glowing love-energy for your baby.

— Natural Pregnancy by Janet Balaskas

Research has found that uterine function during the second stage of labour is directly linked to a woman’s ability to have orgasms during intercourse throughout pregnancy. The women who did have orgasms, according to one study, experienced shorter second stages of labour and were less likely to need forceps...Orgasmic women who are at ease with their sexuality have quicker, less complicated labours.

— Choices in Childbirth by Drs. Andrew and Penny Stanway

During pregnancy, your body contains higher levels of hormones. These hormones cause physical changes, which in turn create a heightened feeling of sensuality. Sex during pregnancy can be more stimulating and satisfying than ever, with some women experiencing orgasm or multiple orgasms for the first time! In addition, your partner will probably enjoy the fact that you are experiencing feelings of enhanced sensuality, and may also find your new shape and extra curves quite sensual as well!

Increased oestrogen levels lead to an increase of blood flow in the pelvic area, causing the swelling that usually occurs when a woman is sexually aroused. Also, the nipples become darker (which can be attractive to your partner) and the breasts become larger, more sensitive and capable of feeling extreme sensation when touched or kissed. With all these nerve endings feeling super-sensitive, arousal is quicker and sensations are more intense and lasting, including orgasm.

— "Sex During Pregnancy," Essentialbaby.com

She comes to me with the moonlight pouring over her,cascading like waves on her night-dappled skin.Her breasts, full and heavy, drip;the cream of her womanhood sliding slowly down.

The future passes before her,held warm and tight in her womb.She is all curves and roundness and beautiful;she carries our child.

Tonight she is the embodiment of a goddess,her milk-white neck stretching as she breathes....

— "Perfection - A Poem About The Beauty Of A Woman In Labor" by Carrie Bartkowiak

Why on earth does Anna feel so exhilaratingly sensuous and sexy now when she is carrying her and Thomas’s child? It is almost embarrassing. Now, when she is supposed to become motherly, lust should give in to serenity and virtuousness, for goodness sake, and not erupt like glowing lava from her body.

She is surprised. Why hasn’t anyone told her? She knew that some women feel great when they are pregnant, but she assumed the reason was that they were excited about having a child. This is different. These feelings are sexual and not exactly motherly.

Tumultuous hormones? Yes, maybe. Disappears when the child arrives? Possible. But why does she feel so strongly that motherliness and sexuality are connected? Yes, they are. She can feel it from the depths of her body. Her pelvis knows, her womb and her breasts. She must keep this a secret. Few people would understand. It has to be a secret between her and her unborn child.

— A Mother is Born by Merete Leonhardt-Lupa

Stepping out of the bath with shining pearls of water on her skin, tiny rills winding down to her feet. The thick terry cloth towel scrubs its pile into the skin. Heat penetrates through every pore. Deep breaths. The rising steam is scented with sweet jasmine and spreads contentment deep into her body.

Anna stands up, leaning slightly backward to gain her balance. This is her new posture. Before she became pregnant, she would slouch forward as if she were trying to cover up her naked chest. Now she thrusts her body forward, breasts and abdomen sticking out, accentuating her femaleness. Her breasts stand boldly out from the trunk, each with one brown eye meeting the gaze of the mirror. Set in motion with her strides they take their own course, swaying and swinging in rhythm.

Her fingers leave the soft breasts, following the descending steps of her ribcage. They pause at the base of the round globe that stretches out below. Her hands want to orbit the globe. They glide on the soft surface, up to the landmark of the navel, then slowly down until they reach the dense forest growing in the mouth to her inner body. This moist and warm place is the gateway that separates her inner and outer beings. Through this gateway traveled the seeds that initiated life, and through it will life first enter the outside world. In the darkness of her inner world, well protected and safe, burns the fire that gives life. It is only natural, she thinks, that this is the place in which her child is created.

MEET Laura Shanley

Since we did not live in poverty, did not choose to invite medical professionals to our births, and had worked with ourselves to eliminate fear and other potentially destructive emotions, we knew that unassisted childbirth was the safest way for us to give birth.

Unassisted Childbirth

In an unassisted childbirth no one acts as a midwife. Instead, the birthing woman herself determines the course of her labor. Partners or friends may participate to varying degrees, but no one instructs the woman as to how to give birth, when to push, what position to be in, etc.