One of my friends recently posted a questionnaire called "I am cleaning up my facebook friends list" that has the following choices:

a) I am a friend and want to stay connectedb) I am a business/professional contact and want to stay connectedc) I connected to you but I don't know why. Time to say goodbye.d) You connected to me but I don't know why. Time to say goodbye.

Is this questionnaire inherently rude? For some reason I kind of feel like it is-part of me thinks that a person shouldn't need any help "cleaning up" his/her facebook friends list, you should know where you stand with people without forcing them to answer a survey. And what if a person is on vacation and gets "cleared out" before he/she has a chance to respond? Of course, I may be off in thinking this-but either way I'm tempted to not respond and see if I get culled from the list.

I have a couple people that post those every once in a while. Meh - I tend to ignore them. Most the people on my FB know me in the real world (only about 3 don't, but I have "known" them on message boards for over 8 years.) So they can figure it out. Of course, don't have near so many on my friends list so it isn't that big of deal to me.

I agree with you, Adelaide. If someone needs me to answer why they should keep me as a Facebook friend, then they don't need to keep me as a Facebook friend. And why am I the only one with responsibility in this decision? If you want to clean up your friends list and can't remember why you and I are friends then it's probably ok to cut me loose without a public consultation.

I'm probably over thinking it. With some people, I feel like they're doing this in hopes of getting a bunch of "Please keep me!" replies.

Interestingly, I never respond to these things, and I've yet to be cut by someone who posted one.

I once unfriended someone who posted one of these; basically it was "Well, let me just help you out and eliminate the agony of deciding if you want me around!" Later I heard she was hurt I had unfriended her.

I don't like questionnaires like that. So far, nobody has asked that of me, but I'd probably ignore it if they did. Either we are close enough that we know why we are Facebook friends, or we aren't and I'm not really going to care (or necessarily notice) if you unfriend me.

I know that part of my reaction to this is based on having been a member of a Livejournal community for awhile back when I was in high school/college. People on Livejournal did this all.the.time and it got really old, really fast. At least the times when I saw it, it was very much an attention-seeking move. The answer they wanted was "Oh, yes, please, do keep me on your list, you're the coolest and I love your posts, and I love you even more!"

I wouldn't assume that was the response someone was looking for without some context, but the question still annoys me. Even when done with the best of intentions, it still ends up feeling like a passive-aggressive bid for attention, or someone who is too lazy to actually cull their friends themselves.

I've had 2 FB "friends" who warned people they might be culled in the next 24 hours. That irritates me to no end. Of course the inevitable "please don't cut me" etc comments followed. I replied that I was making it easy on them and goodbye.

Logged

There is no pie in Nighthawks, which is why it's such a desolate image. ~ Happy Stomach

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. ~ Mark Twain

Adopting a pet won't change the world, but it will change the world for that pet.

At one point I had over 2000 friends. Playing the games sucked me in bad. Each game required you having 500 friends to play if you wanted to be competitive. I got smart later and joined groups where people played more than 1 game so cut down on how many friends I really "needed."

Over time I stopped playing this game, that game and this other game(s) that was pulled from FB (not enough $$ coming in from it/them). So I had hundreds of friends that I had nothing but a game in common with that we no longer played (cos some of those friends quit playing some of their games too).

When I got down to the 2 games that I can see myself paying .. err playing for the next umpteen years or until FB implodes.. I did one of those Events where you invite your entire friend list. I said pretty much what the OP said was posted but with mention of the 2 games I play and people could keep me if they found me enthralling ;-)

People still active in playing game A, B or C could then drop me with no hard feelings, freeing up their friend list to people playing the games they played. Making room to add more people for that game as well.

People who actually got to know me kept me. People who just added me to have their 501 and then had hid me from view (to keep their newsfeed showing real friends vs game friends) deleted me.

The other 1500 either play the same games as me, are related, are real life friends or didn't care to check out the Event. Slowly I have been going person by person and deleting them. People who no longer play "my" games, people who haven't been on FB for years, people who lost access to their accounts.. whatever. It would have been easier if they had attended the Event and just unfriended me if they could but.. now I have to do it.

Just in case some other game comes along that needs me to have 500 players and maybe a game after that The 5000 friend limit means culling. Throw in the new algorithm FB uses to decide just whose posts you can (instead of letting me see what everyone is posting). Oh and how having more than a 1000 friends can mess up some games (the gifts etc).

Now just posting that to see some sort of validation would be tacky. Right up there with the slacktavist "if you cared about ... you would repost this. How many of my friends will care." type of posts. But to maximize culling.. not a problem.

Logged

"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

I've been seeing them all over the place, and in EVERY case, it's because the person ANSWERED it, not posted it! And every time the questionnaire has far more responses than most of my friends have FB friends.

Logged

What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

I've been seeing them all over the place, and in EVERY case, it's because the person ANSWERED it, not posted it! And every time the questionnaire has far more responses than most of my friends have FB friends.

This! My mom just did this because she her friend had answered, then my mom answered thinking her friend was asking and now my cousin has answered thinking my mom had asked. Check the actual link and you'll see it's orgin.

Logged

"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol