Would you want him next to you?

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck departed LAX for New York yesterday. Imagine if he sat down next to you on a plane?

This is my greatest fear on a flight. The people around me, the person next to me. As you know, I always end up with the kid close by. And that kid is always screaming. If that kid is behind me, it usually kicks too. Once that kid tried to take my earphones out. His mother just looked at me like – oh my god, isn’t my baby just the cutest thing?

No.

Most dogs have a sixth sense about bad people. They instinctively know who to trot up to and engage and who to stay the hell away from. When it comes to children, that would be me.

But this is how far Joaquin Phoenix has fallen. Because even I, with my baby antipathy, even I might consider endure sitting beside a child, ugh, if the alternative was Joaquin Phoenix.

If it’s one thing that’s worse than babies, it’s smelly hairy men.

So why are Joaquin and Casey in NYC? No doubt to shoot more footage for their “documentary” chronicling JP’s – he claims – sincere attempt to become a rap artist.