Disclaimer: The
Characters of Xena and Gabrielle are the property of Renaissance Pictures. No
copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction.

Note: This story describes
Gabrielle's life after FIN. Especially it asks how Gabrielle copes with the
result of Xena's decision.

Dear Diary

by Hermes.

Dear Diary,

We arrived in Alexandria today,
diary, after a rough but short trip along the coast. Xena insisted that we cross
the isthmus and take ship to Alexandria. She thought there would be less chance
my being noticed that way. She is usually right about such things. I am writing
this in my room on the fourth floor of a rather run-down inn on the edge of
the waterfront area. Xena has no trouble passing through crowds - lucky thing
- then of course they can't see her - I can, though only in daytime. Right now
she is stretched out on the window ledge. I have to stop myself from telling
her to be careful or she will fall.

I was trying not to be noticed
when we disembarked but I guess that would have been hoping for to much - a
woman travelling alone always brings stares. Still no real problem so far. The
city has changed somewhat since our last visit. At that time Queen Cleopatra
ruled and the Roman empire was at war with itself. Now Egypt is a Roman province
ruled by a Governor named Cicero Plaudus who had been one of Julius Caesar's
officers who later supported Octavian and is now enjoying his reward. Alexandria
has almost recovered from the fighting although the great library is still trying
to replace some of the scrolls lost when it was fired. I hope one day to see
over it properly. I missed out on our last visit because of the death of Cleopatra.

The one bad thing that I noticed
as I left the docks, diary were two long lines of chained slaves being marched
down to the docks. All were male and I got the impression that most if not all
were soldiers - Egyptian soldiers.

Xena tells me she will go exploring
after I go to sleep. She will endeavour to find out what the feeling of the
people is now and how Cicero treats them. I still find it hard to talk to Xena
mind-to-mind. I know I have to - to many times already people have noticed I
appear to "talk to myself". No doubt they think I am going crazy.
I will have to try harder, I guess.

There was one other incident
as I came out of the dock area. I saw two seamen arguing outside a tavern. I
don't know what they were arguing about but one of the men suddenly produced
a knife and went for the other. He stabbed him in the shoulder - his target
managing to shift sideways just in time to prevent the knife striking his heart.
As the wounded man fell back a girl screamed and rushed forward. She tried to
go to the injured man but the one with the knife grabbed her and started to
drag her away. He was dragging her in my direction, diary, so I stepped in his
path and told him to release the girl.

"Out of my way, woman, This
is not your concern," he snarled.

"I'm making it my concern,"
I replied, "Do you want to go with him?" I asked the girl.

"Silence Marline. You were
promised to me. You belong to me, and you are coming with me whether you like
it or not." He looked at me. "You. Out of my way. Now. Or I'll do
the same to you."

He swung his knife at me threateningly.
I stepped back, dropped my bags and drew the sai from my right boot.

"It is easy to hurt unarmed
people isn't it, Darrel. How ċbout when one can fight back? What then?"
I feinted at him. He immediately released the girl and went into what he thought
was a fighting crouch.

"Alright woman. You asked
for it,"

He leapt at me but I stepped
aside and whilst he was still moving moved behind him and planted a kick where
it would do the most good. He sprawled in the roadway, dropping his knife. I
kicked it away and slid the sai back into its strap on my boot. And waited.
After a moment he hauled himself up onto his feet and faced me. His eyes blazed
with anger.

"Woman, you are dead."
he snarled. He obviously assumed his extra height and strength gave him an advantage.
And it may well have, but he didn't know how to use it. He leapt at me but again
I stepped aside and chopped at his neck. I could have killed him but that would
have caused me more problems. Anyway diary, he fell on his face again. And again
he got up. But now he was more careful. We spared for a few minutes but he was
only a brawler and I was receiving constant advice from the best there is. Finally
I caught his arm, twisted and tossed him over onto his back. After a moment
he sat up and glared at me but said nothing. He hauled himself to his feet and
staggered away. The girl, Marline, and I went to Peter. I examined his wound.
It was deep but not fatal. Marline produced cloths from her bag and bound it
up competently enough.

"I can't thank you enough,"
she began, "If you hadn't been there.."

"That's all right,"
I replied, "Will you be alright - both of you?"

"Yes, thanks to you,"
replied Peter, as he tested his hand.

"Then Iċll be getting along
then," I said as I collected my bags.

"If there is anything we
can do for you ..-"

"Well - can you tell me
of a reasonable inn near here - one that is clean and not to noisy," I
said.

"Yes, we can," answered
Peter, "We will show you." And they did.

The keeper of this inn is a woman,
dairy, who is as tall as Xena but much heavier in build. She has long blond
hair that she wears in two braids. While eating my evening meal tonight in the
main room I saw her handle a couple of drunk roughnecks who tried to upset an
otherwise peaceful room. Her name is Freda and I think she might be from Gaul.
Anyway she had no trouble subduing these two men and throwing them out. Her
kitchen produces an excellent meat roll too. The inn has two prostitutes working
from it (at least) and one is Greek. When there are no call for their services
they wait on tables and this one - her name is Lila - told me she was from Athens.
She had been travelling with her new husband when he had been killed in a street
fight, leaving her stranded here. Freda had taken her in and been good to her
at first. She works as a prostitute to repay Freda for the help she gave her.
Xena says she realises Freda was being smart. She got a young fresh girl who
had no protector and now she (Freda) had a new prostitute working cheap for
her. Lila was too ashamed to go home now anyway.

Xena just called me to the window.
I stood beside her as she pointed out some of the changes she could see in the
city's skyline. She put her arm around me as she spoke. It is so strange when
she hugs me. I can feel it and yet I know she is really not there. I miss her
terribly even although I can speak to her regularly, it is not the same.

Anyway, Diary, it is bed for
me. Tomorrow we will go see what things are like in the city proper under Rome.

------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

On our first full day in Alexandria
was very eventful. Following local custom we left the inn early at Xena's insistence
and went into one of the market areas. During the night Xena did some exploring
and at breakfast told me the city was reasonably quiet politically but only
because the people feared Cicero. He has a thriving trade in slaves going as
a sideline. Anyone even suspected of plotting against Rome is condemned to be
sold into slavery. That is how he is controlling Egypt. By fear.

We reached the market place as
the stall holders were setting up their stalls. There was little chatter between
the people. Any talking was in whispers. As we went through the square I didn't
hear anyone cry out their wears in the traditional manner. As we were leaving
the marketplace I heard a commotion behind me and turned to see a boy - little
more than a child in the hands of a Roman soldier. A man was being held back
by two other soldiers. He was clearly trying to protect the boy. I spoke to
a nearby stallholder, a woman.

"What happened?

She looked at me grimly. "He
backed into the Centurion. He didn't see him coming. Now he will be accused
of attacking the Centurion and sold into slavery." The woman's voice was
bitter.

I felt Xena's hand on my arm.
"Don't interfere," her ghostly voice sounded in my mind, "The
only way to stop this is attack the source."

"How", I managed to
stop myself in time and concentrated my thoughts instead, "How do you
mean ċAt the sourceċ?"

"Very good. Your coming
through loud and clear."

"How do you mean ċAt
the source'?"

"I mean at the top. We must
convince Cicero to stop this trade. Now."

Xena led the way out of the market
place and along one street after another until we came out in front of what
had once been Cleopatra's palace. It was now the residence of the Roman Governor.
Roman soldiers stood on guard where Egyptian soldiers stood when we were last
here. Xena paused. Her thoughts came clearly to me. "The best way to
get Cicero to stop this trade is to give him a dose of it."

"You are suggesting we somehow
spirit him away from here despite all his guards, and make him a slave?"

"Exactly."

"Not an easy task."

"No."

"Perhaps it would be
easier if we were to find out when he leaves here and see if we can waylay him
somewhere." I wondered how I could so calmly accept such a preposterous
idea.

"Good idea. I'll see what
I can find out. Don't go away."

Xena marched straight up the
steps of the palace and disappeared from sight. I spent the next hour wandering
around and examining the statutes on display in the square in front of the palace
until Xena appeared again.

"An interesting point, Gabrielle."

"What is that, Xena?"

"Apparently this slave trade
is run by Cicero's son Julius. Cicero signed the decree making slavery the punishment
for anyone objecting to Rome's rule but is letting his son actually enforce
it. It seems Julius is overdoing it."

"So it is the son we should
be going after? Or must we convince Cicero that his son must be stoped?"

"Both, probably, I'm afraid,
Gabrielle."

"Hmm... did you find us
a way to seize the son?"

"Yes. We are in luck there,
Gabrielle."

"In what way?"

"Julius has an interest
in Egyptian history. He likes to browse the library which means he is alone
in there amongst the books and scrolls. He will be going there this afternoon.
Come we have preparations to make" She led the way out of the square.

That afternoon I was standing
quietly amongst the shelves of scrolls and books pretending to be engrossed
in a scroll on the Trojan war when Julius arrived. I heard him dismiss his guard,
ordering them to return for him an hour before sundown. Then he was alone, heading
for the shelves of scrolls on Egyptian history. I put my scroll back in its
place and followed him.

The next part went off remarkably
smoothly, diary. I waited until his attention was totally on his book then crept
up behind him and grabbed him around the neck with one arm and pressed the cloth
soaked with the opiate I had purchased. He struggled of course and alone I couldn't
have done it, but Xena merged with me and with her strength I was able to hold
him until finally the drug did it's work. Then I bound and gagged him securely.
I certainly needed Xena's strength to drag him out the side door and lift him
into the wagon I had rented. After covering him with old sacking, we set off.

Xena appeared as I drove the
wagon into the store shed I had rented earlier.

"Good work, so far my bard."

"Now I have to turn this
Governor's son into a slave."

"Right. Lets see. You can
shave him. He'll look different without his beard. For that matter if you shave
his head too he will look more Egyptian . Strip him and cover him with dust.
That should do it."

"Easy for you. I am the
one doing all the actual work," I grumbled.

" ċFraid so," she grinned.

"You don't have to look
so pleased about it."

I rummaged in my bag and found
the old razor.

I looked at the result of my
handiwork. The governor's son was now naked and filthy with dust. His hands
were still bound behind him and he was tethered to a post by the neck. His face
and scalp was now hairless. There was now no sign of the noble Roman. He moaned
and stirred as the drug wore of. I picked up a switch and stood in the shadows
steeling myself to do the next part. When his eyes were open I gave him a moment
to become aware of his surroundings then approached him. He was testing his
bonds. He swung his eyes onto me and spoke like a man used to being obeyed.

"Girl. Release me at once."

"Silence slave," I
replied trying to sound as harsh as I could.

"Slave. I am nobody's slave,"
he roared, "Release me from these bonds at once, girl."

"Slaves do not give orders,"
I pointed out calmly.

"I am no slave," he
was shouting now, "I am Julius Paudus, son of the Governor of Egypt. I
order you to release me at once."

"You will get me a good
price when you stand on the block, slave." I replied, struggling to remain
calm and offhand. I released his tether from the post and tugged it.

"On your feet slave,"
I said briskly. He did not move.

"Never, girl. Release me
at once."

"You will have to use the
whip, Gabrielle," said Xena.

"Yes, damm him and your
ideas," I replied.

I gritted my teeth, lifted the
switch and swung. It caught him across the shoulder and he gasped and flinched.
I pulled on the tether which was fastened around his neck. If I pulled hard
enough it would choke him. I hated this. It made me feel sick to my stomach.
But it had to be done. Silent now he got to his feet followed me out of the
building and along one street after another until we arrived at the slave market.

It was a horrible, noisy place,
diary. There were on this day four separate auction stands operating. Each auctioneer
trying to out shout his three rivals. One auctioneer Xena had told me was selling
male slaves for the galleys or the arena, another was selling male and female
slaves for house work and work in shops, and one was selling only female slaves.
The fourth stand, diary was dealing only in children of both genders. It was
a pitiful sight. I took Julius over to the second stand. He immediately began
to demand his release of one of the private guards each auctioneer had to protect
his property and control the crowds. He was of course ignored - or rather told
in no uncertain terms to either still his tongue or he will loose it. It was
soon done. Julius was sold to a tanner. The auctioneer's man handed me the money
- less the commission of course and I left the slave market quickly. Xena was
following Julius and his new owner to see where he would be. I returned to the
inn and waited for her to return.

She showed up about sundown.

"How is he taking it, Xena?"

"Not well. He is clearly
not used to hard physical labour. His owner has had to use the whip already."

"We can't leave him there
for long, Xena."

"True enough. The search
will begin soon. It will be in full sway by morning. You should get some sleep,
Gabrielle. Have you written the letter?"

"Yes. All I have to do is
add the location." I began to remove my boots. "How long should we
leave him there, Xena?"

"A few days, maybe."

"We can't let the owner
get into trouble over this, Xena."

" Ha. I examined his work.
It is terrible. His product is good to look at but poor in quality. He rushes
the processes and cuts corners. After a few weeks his leather is cracked and
looking as if it is real old. H e charges full price for his bad workmanship
too, Gabrielle. He is defrauding his customers. He deserves his losses. Now
go to bed my love and don't worry. All will be well, you'll see."

She wrapped her arms around me,
diary, and although I knew she was a ghost, a spirit, and I shouldn't be able
to feel her, I could. If only I could restore her. But she had been determined
not to, and I was the looser. I felt her trying to kiss my tears away but they
just came faster.

"I'm sorry Gabrielle.
I never meant you to be hurt over this. Please don't cry." She held
me close and stroked my back to sooth me, but it was a while before I could
pull myself together. And even longer before I could sleep.

The search for the governor's
son actually didn't get into full swing until about mid-afternoon of the next
day, diary. Although his guard had returned for him and later reported his failure
to show up, little was done until Cicero (who had been out of the city on an
inspection tour) returned around noon the next day. Apparently Julius didn't
always keep people informed as to his intentions. Xena says also that no-one
liked him much, those seeking his companionship only tolerated him because of
his supposed influence over his father. Anyway, diary, Xena tells me that they
quickly established he was last seen entering the library and hadn't been seen
since. On the third day, diary, Xena informed me that Julius was getting plenty
of beatings from his owner. She also reported that Governor Cicero was preparing
to order a house to house search.

"We can't allow all those
people to be inconvenienced, Xena," I pointed out when she said this.

"You're right. It's time
to arrange for him to be found."

"We send the letter to Cicero,
now?"

" Yes. I will go with it
to see that it goes direct into Cicero's hand."

"You can do that? Make others
do what you want? How?" I was astounded.

"By merging with them like
I have done with you when you needed my strength. But it is not as easy with
others. With you it is easy because you know me and let me in. With other people
they naturally resist me and that limits what I can do. But I will be able to
make Cicero read your message. After that we will see."

Well diary, it worked. Cicero
acted on my message and Julius was freed. In my message I had stated why it
had been done and pointed out the injustice of enslaving people who had don
no wrong. I described the fate of the child I had witnessed. I've had to stay
in my room for the last few days, diary, as the soldiers are seeking me now.
But Xena has reported that Cicero has relieved his son of his authority and
ordered - quietly mind you - that only true dissidents are to be arrested and
ordered that they be allowed a hearing before a magistrate to ensure that they
are a threat before being sentenced. So it may be a little better in the future.
But now, diary I must somehow get out of Alexandria. Ah, well, diary, life with
Xena is rarely boring.