Yoko Ono leased billboards in New York City, Tokyo and London saying, “Imagine all the people living life in peace.” Ya know, it just makes me think….
(cue karaoke version of John Lennon’s “Imagine,” and imagine me singing..)

“Imagine (No Stupid Bullshit)”
(parody lyrics by Chad Riden)

Imagine there’s no Yoko Ono
It’s easy if you try
The Beatles would have stayed together
and John Lennon might not have died
Imagine those fine musicians (and Ringo) continuing to rock on..
(ahh ahhhhh!)

Imagine there’s no Courtney Love
It isn’t hard to do
Her music is pretty forgettable
and she’s a crappy actress, too
Imagine Kurt Cobain and Nirvana still rocking out..

You (hoo!) may say I’m a moron
and I may be the only one
I hope someday these succubus bitches go away
and the world can have fun

Imagine no stupid bullshit
I wonder if you can
No need for lame ass crap
or pretentious jackasses in the land
Imagine all the lemmings, not knowing what to do

You (hoo!) may say I’m a moron
and I may be the only one
I hope someday you join me
and make fun of everyone

About 10 minutes into my set last night, a “woman” in the front row pulled out her tit. She held it out & pointed it at me while scratching underneath. She had done her first ever open mic set earlier in the show.. I really wish I recorded THAT. Normally my act consists of jokes and crap, but it took me a few minutes to get her ferret-like mammary out of my mind. Enjoy.