But this is actually a reasonable tool (and there are already several such tools but not with the physics engine, as far as I know). I would think a "Tabletop simulator" that would be analogous to the Goat Simulator would be more insane and be about using tables to attack Martian spies or something

If it comes with a ruler and some templates (and maybe some aquarium terrain bits) this could be a pretty reasonable way to play miniature wargames online. The interface couldn't be any worse than VASSAL.