Category: Intuition

He asked, “Why are you here? I looked at you and seen you are healed.” I had been asked this question by a elder, Stuart Brown in 2013 and was with a group that had been invited to see this healer. I joined them because I was curious. My answer popped out of my lips. “I would like my name” I say. He then prepared a ceremony for me. I gave him his tobacco. I was calm and at peace. After a time he told me my name, “Dancing Rainbow Woman.” He then gave me counsel. What an honor. I felt complete.

To see ceremony opened my eyes to the spiritual realm of our people. I had always considered a healer to be such as this man but I do know that healing comes in different aspects. My way would be through the messages that would come through me to client. Being told that I would be healer caught me off guard and I didn’t equate it with what my mind desired. My mind said you will lay hands on people. To make connections with spirit is what my heart desired and then it was so. I consider my life blessed and thank Creator with so much gratitude and for the people either teachers or students that have come in my life. Not everyone get’s to stay that long in your lifetime. Some stay a short time as in my instance with this elder who gave me so much with empowerment and a sense of self and also guidance. For this, I give heartfelt thanks.

There have been times in my life where I knew not where I was going. One minute I found myself wondering how I came to be here on earth. And I asked myself why? Happy times spent as a family unit and then thrust into isolation without mother and father. Is isolation time spent with aunts and uncles? With grandparents? You know what I talk about when I say the love is different. They care about you but not on that level as you do when you love the smell of your dad and his smiles and silly talk. I knew my family cared about me but I felt so lonely growing up. That small girl who no one explained to, “Hey, we got to take care of business so we can live, you know! But we’ll be back for sure!” This was also the time of my first sexual assault as a very young child with no one to run to.

My first guide in my life besides my father was my maternal grandmother, Julia. I loved her with all my being. Totally. She died 3 days after my third birthday. One minute she was there, the next gone. It ripped me. My grandfather was desolate. He was to go shortly after, a few years but still. It has been said that the ages between 0-3 are the years that a child is nurtured and learns security, love, comfort, confidence and making choices. Thank goodness for grandma. Where would I be without her.

The years pass by me and it’s all learning as this girl doesn’t listen. Too much control going on with parental units in the way of my mother and my stepfather. Maybe I did listen to them when I was young but I grew headstrong and did what I wanted. After all did I not have the freedom to do that when I was with my aunts and uncles and roaming the countryside. I had so much trouble happening in my head and not having direction was to run away time and time again. I left home at 16 as I had a job and lived with my brother for a time. I became pregnant at 17 and left school. My one saving grace, school. I blossomed there. I excelled under the guidance of my psychology teacher, Mr. Bianchini and the art teacher, Mr. Zipp. I understood the mechanics of the mind and gained high marks for that. Mr. Zipp seen a spark in me and I was to become the class model for those years in that big old high school. Mr. Bianchini asked me why I wasn’t returning to his class the last year and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there and now that I was pregnant. I wasn’t brave enough. Would my life been different then the path I decided to take and follow my choices. I do not know. I had the child but did not attain the mother of year award. My parents stepped in and took him. After a time they adopted him. My heart broke. It broke into a million pieces. It sounds cliche. I was to have no contact with him. None. This is the way they wanted it.

I became homeless. Depressed. I discovered there was another side to life that knowing now would never, ever enter. Ever. I stole to eat. Raiding gardens, going into stores and stuffing a bag with whatever I could get. That time was not a good time but I was not to stay in that space for long. Entering into relationships hoping for security and receiving nothing gave me disappointment. Finding a house to live in with five other young people my age was to present huge parties. Not a stable life. But it was so much fun back then. And then it wasn’t. There were problems and once again I was homeless. I persevered. I moved for a time with my friends and found a job. Good old 7-11.

Time passes and in that air I have two more children and one to give up for adoption as this was the time I was living on the streets, sleeping on friends couches. Aimless. The third child I took courage and wanted more out of life. My father was still alive and came to see us in the hospital. I so loved this memory. My father was to pass on my son’s 3rd birthday year. Abusive relationship were to follow for me. My self esteem in shatters. There had been no time to grieve any thing that had passed. No time to grieve the son that was taken, the daughter I gave up for adoption and then my father. No. Time. To. Grieve. But I did find the courage and strength to overcome that man. That man that yelled and hurled abuse on me. I was to find a letter the other day of him writing from jail. How he was so sorry for hitting me. I have no memory of that. Absolutely no memory. He was very graphic and gave so many details but nothing sparked in my memory banks. Now is that a saving grace. I say yes to that. I had to find this guidance on my own and crawl out of that hole.

Life does indeed go on and sometimes at a snail’s pace and sometimes in light streaming down the road. I have had trauma, but also joy mixed in with mine. It has not all been bad. There was the joy of having my children. The happiness of my heart seeing my 3rd child grow. It has all been an experience and for this life class I have been in to be used for people that are going through the same thing. It amazes me with the gift that I had had and how it came in handy for me through the younger days. It got me through so many good times too. I just didn’t know what it was.

I sit here in the morning sun and thank god for all that have some into my life to make in into what it is today. All those experiences that have made me a strong, confident, empowered woman. The guides now are spiritual and some earth based as in my friends or my tribe as I like to call them. They are all my touch stone. They ground me. I know that I am in safe hands. I know there is more for me out there and I can hardly wait!!

I suppose it was about grade 10 when one is picking the career of there choice. I sat there and couldn’t get a handle on it. Now many years later with jobs that I truly loved I have found my purpose or maybe my purpose has found me.

I love helping people make the connection to receive messages from there loved ones that have passed on. As I say to my clients it could be 30 years since they have been gone or a few months and you’re still going to hear from someone, unexpectedly. Even I was to receive a message from my Aunt Christina a month after her passing. She said how thankful she was that I helped her pass on. This was after she hung on after many operations and it was not meant to be. The day of her last rites we gathered around her and she was saying her goodbyes.After the room cleared and she laid there, she exclaimed, “I’m still here, what now?” Her daughter and I softly laughed because Auntie still had her sense of humor, even then. Bending down so she could hear me, I proposed that she give messages to each of her children. She then whispered that when I popped into intensive care the night of her arrival to the hospital that I had come back from the dead. This after not seeing her for perhaps 25-20 years. It gave her a start but she was so happy to see me and she always thought I was a cool and groovy chick. Her words. Her words which I will never forget.

Recently I was to say to a fellow medium that anything that we receive as a channeller, that is, messages from Spirit, is to convey all that you hear. It may not make sense to the reader but it certainly will for the person sitting in front of us waiting to hear anything. Spirit leaves me with a feeling of being so definite, so knowing. Images come popping into my mind. Some talking very fast as to say what they need to say. My surprise was to read a cat that had just passed away a few months before. It had walked down the hallway of my clients home and came up to me, showed me how hard it was to breathe. And at another reading through Skype, a dog but who was living to convey how happy he was and yet having a sense of ADHD. That, my friends, was pretty cool. I have left clients homes after a session of laughing or crying or both. Laughter through tears is the best and it is also healing. Many AHA moments come to mind. Intuitive messages also come in and it can be a most productive session.

So now my sense of purpose to be a Medium. I love what I do. To give healing messages, with the help of Spirit. Each night I go to sleep but not before thanking God, my spirit guides, my ancestors, my angels as everyone gets a nod from me. This is my blessing.~

Who knew that when I let go all would work out to be the way it is. Let it Be. I look back on the fear that permeated my being by saying no to encouraging my growth. Being stuck in Anxietyville was the only thing I knew and believe it or not felt safe. To go beyond meant facing something that I could not endure in that space and time. I look now on the peace and freedom my life brings me and I shake my head at those fear based thoughts. Look at me all tied in knots, afraid of her own shadow and bites the hearts of those that would reach out with her harsh words to keep them at bay. Yes, I was that person. “Give me my space!” I demanded. Did anyone have a clue what I was going through. Man, I was a mess. Hahahaha. If I could I would go up to the former Gail and say, “Hey slow down, give yourself a break, do not give into the demands of life and go easy on yourself. Know that the Universe has your back.”

Five years ago or maybe more I was encouraged to attend class for psychic development. Omg, my mind went south to heck in a hand basket. Ego decided to hitch a ride and give it to me full blast. “You do not have what it takes, you will fail. It will be too much work. You are not intuitive, quit kidding yourself.” Yes, this was my cheerleading section in my mind. Ego was having a party and I was the only attendee. Slowly I came around with baby steps and being in a relationship at that time had a bit of encouragement to try it out. More and more I came out of my shell. Made new friends, trusted them with my heart and talked of things that interested me and they knew what I was going through. This was my tribe. I had finally found them. This tribe consisted of women that had similar stories to mine. They had seen stuff happen around them that no other could see. They day dreamed a lot. Too much so that they were accused of living in another world. To be accused of being a liar crushes a young person’s spirit and deny’s them there truth. Know this.

Today you will see a vibrant, empowered, say it like it is, take charge of my own life kind of woman. Meditation is what centered me. Starting that off was such an endurance test but I passed it. Having made attempts to try it but not finishing a session only made me want to overcome it. Instead of pushing myself to sit in silence for 15 minutes I then went on Youtube and found a great guided meditation by Naomi Nonu-Carling called “Angel Contact” and started off with a minute. I came out of that psyched and ready to move on to add more minutes. So in one day I meditated for a whole hour, again starting off with that one golden minute. Today when I have a session with a client I actually bring them into meditation for a minute or three to show them how easy it is, starting with breathe. Telling them to push out those thoughts with your breathe. Steady one’s mind. Surprised looks are the norm when they come out and how it took for minutes to go by.

If I can do anything to help a person go beyond where they are now and if this is through a reading then I have fulfilled my purpose.

These past few months with re-grouping, reconnecting, recharging, I am actually settled in my life. I haven’t been out as much with my photo shoots with bands but will get to it in the future. There is the odd photo shoot during the day time to be on my creative bent and to fulfill a client’s request. There is so much to do with Mediumship readings and I do so love this side of my purpose. If someone would have asked me 10 years ago that I would be doing this I would have laughed and said, “Not me”. Taking classes with Carmel Joy Baird, St. Brigids, mentors Nottie, Brenda my Aunt, I have come a long way in my intuitive development. Reading those many, many books doesn’t hold a candle to giving messages to people from there loved one’s that have passed. Also having the belief in Source, Spirit, God that through this I could do what I do.
As a little girl I was to “see” and “hear” what other’s couldn’t but I thought that everyone did. I was considered a person who day dreamt all day long and told stories. I am sure I drove my mother crazy with the information I was to tell and make her wonder how I knew what I knew. In school, at math problems I knew the answer I just couldn’t show how I got to it. That was pretty vexing with the teachers. I was considered a cheat. In later years I was to push it away because I didn’t understand it and it scared me. But it’s not. And I do. Those many years I questioned myself and thought I was crazy, was me picking up feelings, hearing, seeing all that was around me in the crowds. The anxiety of all that made me cocoon which probably didn’t help at all in hindsight.
Now to have all this to become much more clearer for me and to have people come my way to teach me in my gift has helped exponentially. All the experiences in my life has brought me to this and I look forward to what comes next. This year has surely been defining with the big move and living here in this quiet comfy place and sure settled my soul. Being on my own after many years in relationships has also gave me the strength and courage and given me the confidence to face life head on with zeal. This year has not even ended but I am in wonder what the next moment, hours, days, weeks, months will bring for someone who is so excited to accept it.

It’s been crazy peaceful from where I sit. A new way of looking through my eyes, through my consciousness. Trying to go back in time to do the same old things I was going before and it ain’t working..at all! Good for me to think of others activities to occupy my mind. Reading many books that are opening my mind more and more. Picked up “Untethered Soul” the journey beyond yourself by Michael A.Singer a few weeks ago and I have to say that for once really paying attention to this jewel of a book. Working with inner self.

The move from the old house into the new went off without a hitch and everything has gone swimmingly. I have started to do more readings and found my calling in mediumship but will delve into the intuition side or vibe coaching as I call it. I am a medium! I How I love saying that. It sounded strange the first time I told a person what it is I do for a living. Talking to your past loved ones. The intuitive side is your day to day vibrations about you.

So there you have it all in a nice little bundle. After all the past couple of years to fully develop my brain to see what I have been doing all this time but to totally understand it. It’s like someone flipped the switch on and said, “VOILA!”

The readings are joyful but sad at the same time. The person that has passed shows me visions or symbols. Feeling, seeing, hearing, tasting it all in the time I channel this vibrant being that once was, is all learning and fascinating for me. To be invited to see all this is a honor and this I tell to the client. I have had humorous, loud, timid people thus far come through. They show me puzzles, tupperware; (she loved takeout), fishing, and sometimes they way they passed. I acknowledge all this and move on in the reading.

So my mantra, “I want to help heal, I want to heal with healing messages” have come to fruition. We are made of energy and manifest what we think. My mind had focused on this for many, many years and so happy I am where I am. There is much more that has been happening but drinking it in for now.

Outlook is everything is it not dear reader? Have you ever felt that shift when your experiences seem to jive as if you are on course. You have found your purpose, never mind trying to find it in the first place as I did.

High school was a breeze for me. Being an honor student, a far cry from the girl who had to repeat Grade 7. But there was one thing that I didn’t have what everyone else had. A plan. Had no clue what I wanted to be. It never entered my mind as a young child to say, “I want to be a nurse or a doctor.” I might have well just said, “I want to be a truck” for all the effort I was giving my education. Taking subjects meant for the type of work well suited. I didn’t get that. Coasting was my best subject.

Back then I just wanted to get by, which I did but desired so much more. Purpose 101 was very big back then for me in daily life and what was the big picture for me career wise? What was I suppose to be doing? Being on my own partying was to factor in and so was travelling aimlessly through our provinces. Had to have an edge to keep myself safe. And yes I was a catholic girl but such a bad ass too.

I am but a far cry from the person that I am now. Much more grounded, having more faith and less doubt of what is, happy and so at peace. It feels like new skin, new experiences like I went back to school to re-learn everything about life. The purpose of healing be it from energy healing to healing messages through psychic or mediumship readings or simply coaching people. I get the feeling of it, what I do now. It comes easy whereas I was thinking way to hard about what intuition was all about or suppose to be about. I had my own ideas about it for sure. The third eye was kind of hard to understand. I actually thought an eye was going to pop out anytime. That made my aunt laugh about that one. Makes me laugh now, at my naivety.

Life for me now is interspersed with meditation, coaching sessions from mentors, prayers and daily living. This skin feels vibrant, excited for new adventures, the unknown. Let it be known that we are students in this vast universe and when not students, teachers as well. Dear reader, you can never go back and repeat after me, “I am not what I once was.”