THE RONZE FREGOLA

Christmas red, red sky at night, red tresses: we’ve found a new color to lose your head over. It's called ronze, a cross between red and bronze, and it’s this winter’s beauty fregola - a natural step-up for all those girls who start with a coppery brown base and a kind of mini revolution for all those girls who are bored with everyone-has-it brown.•••

@TABLEOUS: CHRISTMAS CHIC, NOT KITSCH

At Christmas, the line that separates chic from kitsch is finer than a pair of 20 denier black stockings that pull the minute you try to put them on. This time of year, sliding into cheap-looking is easier than slipping on a banana peel:•••

@TABLEOUS: THE COUNTRY SIDE OF CHRISTMAS

The table, the trimmings, the gifts: if only we could get it all out of the way a month early, instead of waiting till December 23rd, 80% of our problems would be solved. And the only thing we’d have left to digest would be the turkey, the pudding and, well… the relatives.•••

THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER FREGOLA

Remember that scene in Bridget Jones where she's at a New Year's party and meets the love of her life, Mark? Then he turns round to reveal that Christmas-horror-garment-par-excellence, aka charm-buster: the Christmas sweater. This festive nightmare usually appears in jacquard patterns (we’ll leave the reindeer to Mark), shades of red and white, and is loved (and gifted) by Grandmas and Aunties. •••

ALL SHE (DOESN'T) WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

So Christmas is practically the day after tomorrow. And just like every year, half a ton of late and panicked guys are currently dashing round town or combing the net, desperately seeking that elusive present for their girlfriend stroke companion stroke consort stroke non-wife.•••

THE BABY LETTER FREGOLA

Dear Santa, this year I want everyone to be good, apart from me. I’d like to meet Iron Man and take him to clean the basement windows. Our house doesn’t actually have a chimney, but maybe you could throw a new PlayStation 4 or an iPhone 6s with the Gucci cover down the extractor fan.•••

THE GIFT RECYCLING FREGOLA

It happened to our ancestors and our ancestors' ancestors. And every year the tradition is repeated. It just wouldn't be Christmas without some horrendous gift landing under the tree. The time-honoured scarf or gloves, the customary unwearable tie, yet another purse-sized cream that doesn’t fit in your purse or fleece dressing gown that would lower even Rocco Siffredi’s testosterone levels.•••