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Thursday, April 17, 2014

I'm 29!

I have been alive for 29 years.Well nearly 29 years.I’m pretty sure I was born in the evening
sometime.

And really I’ve been alive for 29 years and about 9 months
(give or take).We should celebrate
birthdays at conception “Happy Day Your Mom and Dad Got It On”… I guess that
doesn’t work… but I may begin torturing my kids in that way once they hit
puberty ::insert evil smile::

So to celebrate my 29th year of life I will tell
you 29 facts about me.Some of you know
them all…some of you know some of them…some of you know none of them…

2.The more kids you have the less you can control
your bladder.I don’t just walk around
peeing on myself, but if I don’t “brace” myself before a sneeze or cough I will
pee a little… this has happened in the last week

3.IF Drew Barrymore, Sylvester Stallone, Drew
Carrey, Louis Anderson, Gilbert Gottfried, Salma Hayek, and Sofia Vergara got
in a boat and disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle…I’d be ok with that

4.I bit my nails (both fingers and toes) until my
freshman year of high school when a girl looked at my feet and told me I was
not allowed to wear sandals without painted nails – so I stopped biting and
started painting

5.I cut (or bite) off the chocolate from all the
sides and bottom of a snickers before I eat it.Because chocolate is gross

6.I think Kraft Mac N Cheese is the best – if Mac
N Cheese is made with real cheese its gross

7.I have an addiction to nachos – again…if it is
made with real cheese though it is gross

8.I have a bald spot on the shin of each of my legs (always
been there)… it probably means I have some kind of rare disease that will kill
me abruptly one day… but it also means I never have to worry about shaving that
spot

9.Since I’ve only been wearing pants or dresses
with boots my legs are currently only shaved from mid-thigh to mid-shin… it has
been that way for about a month

10.Sometimes I cough so hard I gag… that can’t be
normal

11.I have 2 toe nails that grow in a funny direction
(so does Eli..poor kid got it from me)

12.I haven’t ridden a bike in 18 years… I may not
remember how

13.Most all breakfast foods are gross… I’d prefer
to eat dinner 3 meals a day

14.If I cook chicken I can’t eat it…if you cook chicken I can eat it…if chicken is on a bone I won’t eat it

15.I like the flavor of most all fruits, but will
not eat most of them because of their horrible texture (blueberries, raspberry,
cranberry, banana, kiwi, peaches, and Apricots are out)

16.I may have eaten so many baby carrots in one
sitting I pooped orange…this may have happened more than once

17.When I was younger I would take an entire head
of iceberg lettuce and just eat it like a giant apple

18.I am so not-flexible I cannot sit with my legs
straight in front of me so my body is at a 90 degree angle without feeling the
muscle pull/stretch in just my left leg

19.I’m an obsessive budgeter and saver and would
rather take any cash I get as gifts and put it into a savings account than buy
something I want (if I NEED it than its fine)

20.I do however love splurging on things for my
friends and family and when I decide to get something “big” I want it now…not
tomorrow…let’s go shopping today!

21.I can’t get rid of clothes…I have many a shirt
in my closet I haven’t worn in years (because it doesn’t fit or because it has
a hole that “I’ll fix someday”, or that is just hideous) and I can’t throw it
out.Unlike my husband though…I don’t
wear those shirts in public

22.I got picked on A LOT in school…I was white
(when 80% were Hispanic), I was smart (when other kids barely showed up to
class), and I was quiet and awkward

23.I like the tingly feeling of a foot/hand that
fell asleep

24.If I’m playing a video game with “collections”
or “achievements” I must have every single one

25.I nearly always have a bruise on my knee or leg
that I don’t know the source of.I
assume it’s Justin kicking me in my sleep.

26.I rarely ever throw away gum…I usually always
swallow it

27.If I’m watching a tv show that has a main
character that has something “off” about their face…it is very difficult to
watch.Like Dick Butkis in “The
Neighbors” or Alice and the Red Queen from “Once Upon a Time in Wonderland”

28.Vomit makes me Vomit.So it may be true that recently while driving
home Jordan began puking in the back seat of the car and I had my head out the
window (in the rain) gagging and praying I could make it home before I lost all
my stomach contents.

29.I’m a super nerd who enjoys long days of
creating excel workbooks with crazy formulas and SQL queries…if you don’t know
what both of those are your life is incomplete