Jokes ... (August 6, 2009 Issue 2)

August 6 2009

11:27

Porters carry an intelligent Jewish family. Books, cases, manuscripts ... Bunch of different, difficult and dusty things. In the end, they come in the last room ... And there is a luxurious white piano. Senior longshoreman with the hope asks: - A piano that, too? - Well, of course, of course - meets the mother of the family. And then the loader breaks down: - Oh shit, they could not or something to learn to play the violin?? -------------------------------------------------- ---- Abram telephoned his friend Moishe. At the end of the tube is removed. Abram: - Hello. - Hello. - How are you doing? - Normally, only I ache a little chump: yesterday so cool in the restaurant walked ... - Oh, sorry, I got the wrong number. -------------------------------------------------- ---- Sarah rides a taxi. Suddenly, the taxi gets into a serious accident, and Sarah squeezes in the cabin. After some time, there are lifeguards and begin Cut the body. Sarah yells: - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah !!!!!!!!!!!! Rescuers: - Do not worry, we are here. - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah !!!!!!!!!!!! - Please, we have almost cut the body, is now set you free. - Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah !!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, turn off at last count anyone !!!!! -------------------------------------------------- ---- In the Registry Office comes to Indian and refers to the employee: - I want to change the name, but it is so long that caused me a lot problems. My name is Little Innocent Lamb, jump on the meadows, Followed by the watchful eye of Mother Sheep. - Clearly, - said an employee - a new name you want? - Just Be-Be. -------------------------------------------------- ---- Every winter, Winnie the Pooh, a decent bear, hibernate and sucking paw. And Piglet, as decent a pig, always use it. -------------------------------------------------- ---- HOW TO BEAT ALCOHOL hangover.

Today you are thirsty, cracked head, shaking hands, swelling of your face, even though yesterday was great fun and pleasant to the touch. Treatments. 1. Let's say you accidentally have the money. Take the money from his pocket and ran to the store. 2. Suppose you have in your pocket no money, and he pockets the day before someone tore off. Go to the bank, remove the money from my account and ran into the store. 3. Suppose your bank account has been closed, the credit is not given, try to call the police. Ask your wife's stash that she has postponed buying a new blouse, and ran to the store. 4. Let's say you have no wife, because you drank all of her blouse on five years ahead. Urgent marry another, and ran to the store. 5. Suppose you were denied registration under the pretext that you have in Passport no space for the stamp. Ask borrow from neighbors and ran to the store. 6. Suppose the neighbors you are refused because you supposedly did not pay to them for the last quarter. Make threatening gestures that give neighbors in the eye and ran to the store. 7. Suppose the neighbors you have given yourself in the eye, ear, tooth, and even promised to come tomorrow. Harboring a grudge against the neighbor, sell your TV set and run to the store. 8. Let's say you've sold your TV set with a bedside table on which he stood. Sell everything else (as a last resort sell window frames - in the winter cold and summer mosquitoes bother) or running the shop. 9. Suppose you sold everything, including flooring, tile in the bathroom and other plumbing. Uh-uh, my friend, time for you to tie and then sopetes. 10. Say you're blindfolded. Collect all the bottles, turn them. Some money to buy a window frame, color television, wife, and everything else, but the neighbors did not let us - will know how you were hurt.