iPhone v Android debate 'not important'

THE debate over which is the better of two popular types of telephone has ended after participants realised it simply did not matter.

Your telephone can never be a tree frog

There had been increasingly heated argument about whether the gadget made by one company was superior to geegaws made by the other companies that did similar things in a slightly different way.

But the topic has been declared defunct after both sides put everything in context.

Tech blogger, Stpehen Malley, said: “I had always been a rabid advocate of one of the companies because their doo-da was open source and delivered full multitasking. The issues arising from this seemed interesting and important to me.

“But last Tuesday I was posting simultaneously on several online forums to that effect when, overcome with annoyance by the mere thought of technological imperfection, I turned momentarily away from my monitor to stare out of the window.

“The sun was setting over the distant hills, and the late evening sky was a peaceful yet dramatic canvas of crimson and azure.

“The sudden sense of the enigmatic perfection of the universe was such that my soul seemed to leave my body via the top of my head and I imagined myself floating aloft, as much a part of nature as the birds and the trees. When it ended I found I was no longer concerned with non-Google syncing.

“A phone’s a phone. In two year’s time they’ll all be buried in a landfill with a load of dirty nappies and rotting chicken carcases.

“Would you like to see my drawing of a tulip?”

Former telephone fanatic, Roy Hobbs, said: “I was so devoted to this phone, it was like being in a cult except without any of the group sex, UFOs or cool stuff.

“Sure it’s terribly fancy, but I work for a company that makes incredibly bad television programmes not the Pentagon, so I really don’t need an artificial brain in my pocket, irradiating my scrotum.”