Hope and help for triple-negative (TNBC) and other forms of hormone-negative breast cancer.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Let's Talk About Saving Another Community from the Sandy Hook Tragedy

Jeannie and Maureen tried to light the 26 candles on the
altar, but the lighters wouldn’t work—no spark—and the matches burned out too
quickly. We watched, thinking of the 26
victims at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, 20 of them little children. And we cried.

Like communities all over the world, our church found a way
to honor the victims of this country’s latest mass killing. But it didn’t work smoothly—we didn’t have
the right tools to light the candles honoring the lives that ended that day. Or our tools didn’t work. The candles got lit, but it was a bumpy
process.

What a metaphor for our reaction to this horror. We need to do something, make some change in
a culture that is clearly broken, but we don’t know what tools to use. And we are
afraid that the tools we have are broken.
And whatever we do will be bumpy.

The biggest tool we could use would be a national
discussion—a civil conversation about just what is broken in our world. We lurch toward solutions: Control guns. No, increase gun ownership so more people can
defend themselves. Improve mental health
screening, treatment, and support. Reduce
the violent messages in the media.
Pray.

America long ago lost its innocence—through assassinations,
bombings, too many mass murders to even remember. Last Friday we lost 20 innocents as well.

In those innocents we see our children, grandchildren,
ourselves. We see hope and promise and
deep love. In losing them we lose a
certain amount of hope and promise, and the love we feel makes our hearts ache.

This has been especially difficult for me because my
grandsons also live in a beautiful, tranquil New England village, and the
oldest goes to preschool at the local elementary school. I could see his face in the face of those who
were killed. I could see my daughter and
son-in-law’s faces in the raw grief of the parents who lost their treasured
little ones. I could see myself as the
mother and grandmother attempting to offer comfort while my heart was in
pieces. What comfort could there
possibly be?

We need to do something to stop this from happening again,
we all agree. But what to do? Blame one another for our boneheaded beliefs
that led us to this tragedy? That seems
to be what is happening on social media, with the camps already digging into
their positions on gun control and violence, in much the same way we were
polarized in the past election.

We will never get anywhere on anything if we don’t start
moving out of our bunkers, if we don’t start listening to the other side, considering
their point of view, looking toward the possibility of common fears, concerns,
and solutions.

There is much in America that unites us—our love of family, concern for the wellbeing of our children, the importance of our communities. Yet we have been defined by all that divides us, and as long as we allow that to happen, we'll get nowhere. We need to focus on the unity, not the division.

So, let’s talk. And,
more important, let’s listen to one another.
And instead of calling one another out for a disagreeable position,
maybe we can ask why our friends believe the way they do and look for common
ground that will lead us beyond this country’s obsession with blaming the other
side.

Let’s shut off the television and the radio and stop being
swayed by the talking heads whose agenda is stir us up rather than to calm
us. Let's quit venting on social media and begin talking person to person. Let's turn to our neighbors and see
them as the caring people they are, rather than as ill-advised liberals or
conservatives. Let’s forget labels and
preconceived notions and stop trying to be right, to gain power and control
through our positions.

And let’s talk.

Please consider a donation to Positives About Negative to keep this site going. This work is entirely supported by readers. Just click on the Donate button in the right of the page. Thank you!

No comments:

DONATE

Please help support this blog. All donations go to time and resources to maintain this rich source of information about triple-negative breast cancer.

Donate in the name of a friend or family member with breast cancer and I'll send a personal note of encouragement to her or him.

NOTE: I am all out of books, so I can no longer send them as part of the donation.

Surviving Triple-Negative Breast Cancer: Hope, Treatment, Recovery

Finally! A book about TNBC written by a woman who's been through it—Patricia Prijatel, founder and editor of this blog. If you like this blog, you'll love this book.

Patricia Prijatel

Founder of Positives About Negative and author of Surviving Triple Negative Breast Cancer

Top Cancer Blog

From Symphony Sisterhood

Welcome

When I was diagnosed with hormone-receptor-negative breast cancer, I required a positive attitude of myself—I was not going to let a disease have the upper hand. I hope I can share some at that attitude with you while I offer what I have learned in my trek through this disease as a patient and medical writer.

It's a given that life ends in death. Cancer just makes you face that inevitability more directly than you might have before. To me, that means living fully right now.

Three Mountain Dogs, a children's book by Patricia Prijatel

Triple-negative breast cancer (TNBC) lacks hormone receptors for estrogen, progesterone, and Her2/neu. It affects about 20 percent of all those with breast cancer. This blog offers information and hope for those with TNBC and other forms of hormone-negative breast cancer.

Calm Spirit Note Cards

Blank greeting cards with the Calm Spirit image are available in packets of 6. They're ideal for sending a personal message of encouragement to anyone living with cancer. Boxes of six are available for $10.00 and can be ordered by contacting my friend Madlyn at madlyn.ferraro@ gmail com. Individual cards are $2.50 each.