But I can daydream! And PAGE awards FB page has a wonderful quote to help me:"WOO-HOO!! Received this message from one of our Final Round Judges this morning: "PAGE does it again. I've only read three of these scripts and already I've found a project I want to pursue." Sounds like one of our Finalists may have a deal in the offing...."Is it impolite to say "I hope it's me, I hope it's me!!!" ?Ha ha, I do know I haven't won, but it would be everso nice to get a script bought.Imagine... sitting in the sun, me and my laptop - a head full of ideas and a screenplay springing to life... and no more IT work...

After the informative feedback from Valery Hoskins Agency about Collider, I was positive that it wouldn't make it very far, and each round I've been surprised and delighted! Of course I had the quandary with my edited version - the first copy was good enough to get to the Finals, should I stick with it? It's pretty good... but I went with my gut, which says that the edits I've made make for a better script.

I also got my Raindance feedback and incorporated that, so I'm hoping it's a tidy little script with a good chance!

Now I need to put it out of my mind for a month, with the winners announced October 15th.....

I've booked myself on a writing seminar series with Josh Golding later this month, running alternate Saturdays with a group of aspiring writers. Fools Walk is the topic I shall expand on there. It's been in my head a couple of years now, with brief revisits, but I'm aiming to submit that to the Beeb when it's done. Sequestration Manor is really tugging at me too, the characters are forming up nicely in my head, and their pitfalls are getting deadlier every day, plus of course poor Bing and Moo are getting very impatient to get out. I think they'll be last because they're a slow burner.

All in all, life feels very positive! Aside from a minor cock-up in my day job (unrelated to me, but impacting on my invoice!), things are progressing. I just need to win the Page Awards to afford even more time away from the drudgery - and then, of course, sell a script so I never have to work in computers again!

I’m going to blame TV and film! All those stories with an agent finding work for treasured actors, taking their career in hand and helping them make money – that’s the holy grail! That’s why I want an agent – to put my name in lights! My dawning realisation is that this is not what agents do, at least not for Scriptwriters. http://www.screenwritinggoldmine.com recently ran a forum which Matthew Bates, of Sayle Screen Limited, contributed the agents perspective. The majority of questions were: “How do I get an agent?” His response (paraphrased): “Word of mouth.”"Yeah, but how do I get an agent?""Word of mouth." (not hooked by my logline, but his time and input was still much appreciated)

The classic catch-22: I can’t get an agent without having produced something, and I can’t produce something without an agent. But no!That is so wrong! All the information is there! I’ve just been too stupid to register it.

An agent isn’t a silver bullet, there to get you launched and into the world. An agent is there once you’ve made it – or something anyway. They read contracts and protect your interest, and as importantly, they are your advocate, to get your foot in the door to opportunities that we can’t access.

This sounds like the beginning of the vicious circle again – but how do I get anything made, without an agent???

Make films on cheap equipment, and spam YouTube. Join writers forums, blogs and writing groups. Go to networking events and introduce yourself… get training and network… enter competitions – get off my lazy arse and pound the streets, then the agents come to you.

Funnily enough this isn’t a demoralising realisation. I was a bit depressed when I thought my way in was through an agent… now I see it in reverse, it no longer seems so impossible. I just need to de-Anglicise myself, removing the innate self-deprecation (“Hello, I’m a bit of a writer, but I’m not very good”), make sure I have a bloody good portfolio of work, and keep hitting the avenues I do have access to – BBC, Script competitions and Raindance (that pitch fest is terrifying… er, maybe I can get an actor mate to do it for me?) Oh, I shall of course still try for an agent! Everyone says the scatter gun approach doesn't work, but I think a duck filled with shot would disagree with that!

Ahh, it's been years since I was in New York, and I do love it.Generally, people seem to be much more polite than over here: Rush hour with a stroller and 3 kids - no one complained. Asking directions, everyone was polite and friendly, unlike London where commuters treat tourists like plague carriers: Very fast, purposeful walking and a frosty demeanor - and if that doesn't deter, a sullen pout and deep sighs.I know! I perfected this myself!

There was a noticeable personality change in Central Park however. The mid section, reserved for exercise, brought out some very angry people for some reason?We perambulated gently around a jogging track in the wrong direction, with a forbidden stroller, then crossed cycle lanes (on foot). I admit I had the temerity to pet a dog - momentarily reprieved of the 'yanked lead' as the owner stopped to stretch. 3 adults, 3 kids. It seems that within these confines, I am an "Idiot" and ... well words to that affect with various expletives.

I'd feel bad that I forced the otherwise delightful New Yorkers into rudeness, but I can't help thinking that jogging in a park on a lovely sunny day should be a calming, relaxing and enjoyable thing to do, and even before our obstructions, no one appeared to be enjoying themselves.No harm done (though we might have come close) and I expect the transformations back into Dr Jekyll happened regardless of our interference...