Always an unhappy toddler..

Madiha M - posted on 09/05/2012
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Hello everybody! I am a mom to 21 month old daughter.. And i m feeling really desperate because my daughter's all time crankiness is driving me crazy.. she wants me to be with her forever.. she cant stay happy on her own for even 5 min.. i make sure that every need of her is fulfilled but she doesn't stay happy!!!!!!!!!!!! i m going nuts! am i doing something wrong or is something wrong with her?

P.S she is done with her teething except her molars; no sign of them yet. And i go on regular walks 5/7days and i always take her with me.. 2 or 3 days apart i take her to swings and all..

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Julie - posted on 09/06/2012

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Everyone has to deal with negative and sad emotions, even toddlers! Let her be unhappy or cry or bored for a bit. Its good for her to learn to deal with. As long as she is safe and not in pain or discomfort (physical discomfort), there is no reason that you need to entertain her or be with her every minute of every day!

Sometimes its a matter of 'weaning' her off of you. Start by being in the same room but not paying direct attention to her. Give her access to other things to do - toys, activities, even TV - then slowly work your way further and further from her. If you let her know that you're in another room or on another floor of the house, she will eventually be confident that you will be there if she really needs you.

It might be helpful for you (and her) to look into play groups or even part time day care. She needs to understand that if you leave (and that can mean literally out of eye sight) that you aren't gone forever and you will return to her.

And keep in mind that she is getting close to the "terrible twos". Even more important to recognize that children pick up on a parent/parents stress and emotions. If you are calm and confident, she will be too. And it is important for you to be able to take a break from being someone's mommy and be a person too.

I have twin boys that are 18 months now and one was like that. Plus he was not sleeping through the night. My aunt shared with me a story about her good friends son and what they did. First went to dr. And had tested for food allergies, asthma, and ENT dr. Also recommended an air purifier that osolates. There were food issues and the air purifier made a whole new child. My son has asthma and was put on meds. With air pur. Sleeps through the night and is happy. I think aboutall the time he would cry and just want me and remember he couldn't breath well and hurting some; I would cry too. Not saying anything is wrong but maybe worth a dr. Visit. Good luck and God bless?

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Mwhite517 - posted on 09/09/2012

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Have you given any thought to putting her in a day care environment 2 to 3 days a week. Sounds like some seperation anxiety but if she starts to interact with other children her personality masy change. I don't think you are doingf anything wrong. She does know that she can push yiour buttons so you keep giving her more4 and more of your time. Have you had her checked out by her pediatrician to determine that it is not anything physical? If all checks out with the DR. I would defr spend some time away from her for your sanity maybe once or twice a week a walk without her would do you good. She will learn her boundries and back off doing so much for her. You are her mom not her full time entertainment.

It takes lots of patience. If she is with you all the time of course she has mommy withdrawals when she is on her own. You need to detach a little at a time. Find thing that you can both do apart but in the same room and gradually she will learn to play and have alone time. Maybe she need music that will soothe her at her alone time.

It's hard they can't express themselves other than by crying.

If you are looking for a school I suggest Montessori they teach kids how to be independent

Thank you so much for your such an encouraging and kind reply.. I have started looking for a day care because i have to continue with my studies too.. I hope and pray that she grows out of it.. some day.. :) thanks a million.. cheers!