Life, Leadership and Business

Sunday, 20 March 2016

3 Simple Ways to be a Genie

3 Simple Ways to be a Genie

Recently I became aware of how many times people use the
saying “I wish” in daily conversation, and that set me off thinking...

What exactly would it take to be a bone-fide, wish-granting
Genie? But, before you think I have gone off the deep end, please know; I am
fully aware that no one is about to turn into a tongue-in-cheek, spell-casting,
flying-carpet-riding, magic-lamp-dwelling, blue Genie on the basis of this
article. But I do want to be more than just a wish-maker. I want to be able to
make wishes come true.

On the basis of some basic research conducted on how and
when people use the expression “I wish,” here are three simple ways to become a
genuine wish-granting Genie:

Listen More: The most common “wish” statement made during
the research period was – “I wish you would just listen to me”. Without a doubt,
listening is the simplest way to become a Genie. Listening is a dying art, and
it doesn’t have anything to do with our ability to hear. It has everything to
do with the intent with which we listen. Most people listen to reply. We
formulate our answers as others speak, not actually paying attention to what
they say. With our minds preoccupied with our own stories, we wait impatiently
for our turn to blurt out our story.

Most people want to be understood. To be a Genie you must change
your listening intent to: listen in order to understand. This is not a passive
act of just sitting quietly hearing what the other person has to say, although
that it a good start. To understand we must actively listen. This will include
keeping quiet in order for our wish-maker to have their say. A Genie will also
offer feedback to the speaker about what they have said, assuring them you have
understood. We could also ask questions to clarify and piece together the information
receive from the speaker. Focus on them as they talk, making an effort to keep
them calm and comfortable as they relay all their information to us. Nothing validates
a person’s sense of worth as much as knowing they have been heard and
understood.

Behaviours to avoid as a Genie while making the “Listen Wish”
come true include: Don’t act out your impatience by fidgeting, pacing or heading
for the door before the speaker has come to the end of his or her speech. Get
off your phone, and don’t respond to message notifications, until you are sure
the conversation has run its natural course and come to an end. Be prepared to
set time aside, as there is probably a lot the speaker wants to say. So, don’t
be in a rush to go anywhere or to do something other than making the wish to be
understood come true.

Give Presence: No, not presents. Gifts are a poor substitute
for presence, as displayed by a group of wishes that ask for just that: “I wish
you were here”, “I wish we could do this together”, “I wish you could go with
me”.

This wish is not a request to just any old generic Genie
that may be available; this wish is directed to a specific Genie. As the
appointed Genie requested to supply presence, be careful about taking the wish
too lightly. It is not necessarily the wish itself that will give the person
joy. This wish is made on the foundation of validation – “I need you to
acknowledge me / my emotions / my desire / my achievements / my effort. Correctly
performed the wish-maker will experience a sense of: love, acceptance, support,
recognition, sympathy, and so much more.

This wish is one where the Genie will have to have time
available to spend with the wish-maker. No other wish depends so heavily on the
attitude involved during the execution to be successful. You see, you could
grant presence, and still disappoint the wish-maker leaving them dissatisfied
with the service. A sure way to harm your Genie status is to demonstrate any
kind of frustration, irritation or impatience during the wish fulfilment
period. In true Genie style; remain calm and have fun, making sure the focus of
attention is positive and squarely on the wish-maker.

Judge Less: The Judge-Less Wish is subtle and often incorrectly
identified. Misreading this wish gets amateur Genies in trouble. Look and
listen for any wish that implies: “I wish I could tell you”, “I wish I could
explain this to you”, “I wish I could connect”.

Genie-Specific, this wish requires the identified Genie to
leave the lamp and perform magic. This wish is born out of the fear of judgement,
rejection or ridicule; for one of two reasons. First, the wish-maker may be
insecure and paranoid. Secondly, the Genie may have a history of being
judgemental.

In both situations, the Genie needs to focus on the
wish-makers environment to successfully fulfil this wish. The Genie must make
the surrounding safe, welcoming and comfortable for the wish-maker, removing
all evidence of ridicule, mocking and judgement. This wish requires the Genie
to cast a spell of patience and tolerance over themselves and demonstrate it in
abundance. To really impress the wish-maker, follow up with a big dose of
acceptance and encouragement.

The three qualities required to make it easier to
be a wish-granting Genie include: a patient nature, a non-judgmental heart and
the warmest of hugs. Being a good Genie requires practice and will take time to
master, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

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