I didn't see this topic addressed; having lived with a couple of roommate/housemate situations, I thought I'd put out my ideas for a sucessful roommate/housemate rel@tionship.

Roommate/Housemate Etiquette

1. Treat your roommate/housemate as you wish to be treated.

2. Establish ground rules, such as how to deal with common areas, cleaning duties etc. These will ensure that you and your roommate/housemate are on the same page.

3. Be respectful of each other’s space. Do not sit on your roommate’s bed without permission; do not enter your housemate’s room without permission.

4. Be respectful of your roommate’s/housemate’s schedule. If you and your roommate/housemate have opposite schedules, be quiet when he or she resting. Use headphones at those times when listening to music/watching videos.

5. Discuss having overnight guests before you invite them. Decide how long they will stay and where they will sleep. This goes for friends as well as romantic partners.

6. If you have pets (and are allowed to do so), take care of them. Do not leave your dog for 36 hours and assume your housemate will be around to let the dog out. Do not assume the housemate will feed your cat. Ask first.

7. Do not bring illegal substances into the house or room without discussing it with your roommate. And if your housemate or roommate is strongly opposed to the use of illegal substances, respect that and keep it out of the house. If you cannot/ will not, find a new place to live. Some people’s careers can be ruined by association with drugs. A disscussion about allergies and how to deal with allergens in the house is also a good idea.

8. Do not eat your roommate/housemate’s food without permission. Some roommate share staples, but that should be discussed before hand. If you use something up, replace it ASAP.

9. Be friendly, but aware everyone has days/times when they do not want to talk. Respect that.

10. Successful housemate/roommate rel@tionships boil down to respect and communication. When in doubt, talk about the issue. Being passive aggressive is rude and ineffective. Best friends or buddies is not the goal with communication lines, it is to keep the shared living areas running smoothly. A situation where you each take responsibility for your own possessions, parties and daily living helps increase respect between suitemates.

11) Just because X bedroom is "your space" it does not give you the right to be a total slob there(leaving half eaten plates of food around, not cleaning your cat's litter box, allowing dirty clothing to gain sentience). If it bad enough that it can be noticed outside your room with the door closed, it needs to be cleaned up. If you want to be that dirty, live alone/with like-minded slobs).

12) When discussing living together prior to actually signing a lease/moving in, be honest. Don't claim that your last apartment was so gross because (anything not your fault). You lived their, you could have done something.

13) You don't have to be buddy-buddy, but excluding one roommate while including all the other roommates in something(unless there are only 3 of you, but even then) is rude(barring it being an activity they can't participate in, like having some of your mom's awesome peanut butter fudge when they're allergic).

14) If you are having trouble with your boyfriend/girlfriend, deal with the issue yourself. Do not leave it up to your roommate to run interference.

15) If you decide that you want to live alone, discuss possible solutions with your roommate. Do not try drive your roommate out of the home by locking him or her out. Do not sleep with your roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé

16. If you own the home and are renting a room to someone, remember that they don't pay you rent to be a guest in your house. As long as they are paying, it is their home too. It is not their house, but it is their home. Treat them the same way you wish to be treated in your home

17. Do not handle your roommate's property without their permission or invade their private spaces

Did I miss anything? Are these good rules? Joan

Black Delphinium:
7a) Ditto major allergens.

11) Just because X bedroom is "your space" it does not give you the right to be a total slob there(leaving half eaten plates of food around, not cleaning your cat's litter box, allowing dirty clothing to gain sentience). If it bad enough that it can be noticed outside your room with the door closed, it needs to be cleaned up. If you want to be that dirty, live alone/with like-minded slobs).

12) When discussing living together prior to actually signing a lease/moving in, be honest. Don't claim that your last apartment was so gross because (anything not your fault). You lived their, you could have done something.

13) You don't have to be buddy-buddy, but excluding one roommate while including all the other roommates in something(unless there are only 3 of you, but even then) is rude(barring it being an activity they can't participate in, like having some of your mom's awesome peanut butter fudge when they're allergic).

Hawkwatcher:
4 a) Music/television: please turn down your music and/or television down late at night so that your roommate can sleep.

14) If you are having trouble with your boyfriend/girlfriend, deal with the issue yourself. Do not leave it up to your roommate to run interference.

15) If you decide that you want to live alone, discuss possible solutions with your roommate. Do not try drive your roommate out of the home by locking him or her out. Do not sleep with your roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé (yes, I know of a case where this happened).

Daffydilly:
If you are in a situation where you are required to share a common area/bathroom/room with someone else, communication is good. When you refuse to clean, follow up discussions about the living spaces or acknowledge them in any way, it can be frustrating to the other person.Best friends or buddies is not the goal with communication lines, it is to keep the shared living areas running smoothly. A situation where you each take responsibility for your own possessions, parties and daily living helps increase respect between suitemates.

gollymolly2:
Communicate. If you have a problem with something, say it. Just because you think something should be obvious doesnt mean it is.