23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught
the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began
exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love
so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and
walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown
anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to
catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and
into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

it’s not my fault

my auntie was killed

and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking