Tagged: #1reasontobe

To better combine its position as a steadfast defender of Microsoft with its obsession to link social issues with gaming, Polygon has announced it will embed a senior editor with Microsoft’s gaming division for a whole year as part of its #750000reasonstobe campaign.

“A lot of gamers look at Playstation 4 and only see that they get significantly better hardware and a bunch of monthly free games and discounts with a multiplayer subscription,” Polygon’s Arthur Gies told Subtle Blend.

“As usual, gamers are looking at things through the perspective of their own privilege. They only consider that Sony’s value proposition is objectively better than Microsoft’s. They don’t think about all the people who dedicated years of their lives to work on this device. There probably were at least a few women and minorities on the Xbox One team, but gamers don’t think about that either. They just want the system that has better games and more power at a lower cost. Gaming culture is disgusting. It has a giant empathy problem.”

To change this state of affairs, Polygon will send features editor Russ Pitts to Redmond for a whole year to tell the “human story” of Microsoft’s failing console. (Full disclosure: Pitts doesn’t like us very much.) “Very few writers use more words per article than Russ Pitts,” Gies told us. “He’s great like that. You could ask the man to write a grocery list, and he’d find a way to make it 2000 words long, plus make eggs and cheese into a metaphor about the sexual awakening of young girls.”

In a clear case of “life imitates art,” where “art” means “satirical posts on Subtle Blend dot com,” Dominique Pamplemousse creator Deirdra Kiai proposed that if straight white men are going to continue to systematically oppress Strong Female Game Developers, the least they could do is hit Deirdra Kiai up for her digits.

“I hate how people who aren’t straight white cisgender men are treated in the game industry. I hate that so many women can’t come to a professional event without getting hit on by some creepy dude… and I hate that it never, ever happens to me. I mean, who even thinks this? Shouldn’t I feel happy that I’m not getting hit on? No, I feel like shit. I start to wonder, what’s wrong with me? I clearly don’t look manly or bearded or stubbly enough, so I don’t get to be treated like a real human, but I’m also not hot enough for any of their creepy attention. I’m like invisible or something.”

Not much more to add to this one, just please note the intentional lack of a “satire” tag, as this is something someone actually said during a panel focused on how straight white males ruin everything with sexism.