Thats really a hard subject to discuss, because frankly you cannot give straight answers. in my point on view, i would not cheat on my wife (if i had one). Every male has sexual desires.. i'l just hold it and commit myself to my marriage. But if it really gets out of hand, and i really am in an urge... maybe yeah. Lust is a problem.

i honestly cannot say anything more about this, as Nemo said, professional help is the best i guess. good luck mate, i hope everything turn out to be good in the end.

_________________________
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

One thing that people seem to regularly confuse is a man's desire to have sex with multiple partners and a man's dissatisfaction with his current partner. They are generally not one in the same. The urge to spread genetic material and propogate the species is the second strongest primal urge a human being has. Men and women alike need to understand this fact and every relationship needs to address it openly and honestly. Wanting to have sex with other women is not an indicator that your marriage is over or even in trouble. It just means that you are a man.

Masturbation, pornography and role-playing with your significant other are great ways to satisfy your desire and maintain your commitment to each other. I am married and I have never cheated on a partner. Trust and communication are paramount. A lot of women have trouble with this fact and often respond with fear and hostility. They feel that they are inadequate, have done something wrong or that their guy is just a prick.

It most likely is none of those things. The idea of a fairybook marriage where neither spouse has extramarital thoughts is a myth. The deciding factor is what people do with those thoughts that makes the difference. If the relationship is lacking communication or understanding about this subject, chances are that somebody will cheat. A lot of these things are taboo in America, where sex is everywhere and accurate information about sex is not, and so people are blind-sided by such ideas when they enter an intimate relationship.

Talk to your wife about all of it. Tell her about how important she is and your marriage is and about your fears about being unfaithful. Sometimes it might be tough, but if your marriage really is your #1 priority, and you find ways to fulfill your urges with my suggestions above, then you'll make it.

I believe the urge to procreate is so strong it leads many people to commit acts that, while not immediately affecting their survival, seriously diminish their chances of longevity.

Maybe this is just a testament to the nature of short-sighted and dim witted individuals or maybe it is a testament to how strong this sexual urge actually is.

Maybe, just maybe, the need to procreate IS the ultimate act of survival and, as such, a stronger urge.

As you started to touch on, though, there is a difference between survival and longevity of life. The survival instinct is the stronger, you just used a bad illustration. If a masked gunman barged into your bedroom late at night while you were fucking somebody, it's likely you'd rearrange your immediate priorities. You can't procreate if you're dead.

Also, sometimes when discussing instinct, we forget that evolution has also given us reason and critical thinking skills. It's just that those skills are more complex, and evolution hasn't had enough time with us to make them standard equipment.

One thing that people seem to regularly confuse is a man's desire to have sex with multiple partners and a man's dissatisfaction with his current partner. They are generally not one in the same. The urge to spread genetic material and propogate the species is the second strongest primal urge a human being has. Men and women alike need to understand this fact and every relationship needs to address it openly and honestly. Wanting to have sex with other women is not an indicator that your marriage is over or even in trouble. It just means that you are a man.

Masturbation, pornography and role-playing with your significant other are great ways to satisfy your desire and maintain your commitment to each other. I am married and I have never cheated on a partner. Trust and communication are paramount. A lot of women have trouble with this fact and often respond with fear and hostility. They feel that they are inadequate, have done something wrong or that their guy is just a prick.

It most likely is none of those things. The idea of a fairybook marriage where neither spouse has extramarital thoughts is a myth. The deciding factor is what people do with those thoughts that makes the difference. If the relationship is lacking communication or understanding about this subject, chances are that somebody will cheat. A lot of these things are taboo in America, where sex is everywhere and accurate information about sex is not, and so people are blind-sided by such ideas when they enter an intimate relationship.

Talk to your wife about all of it. Tell her about how important she is and your marriage is and about your fears about being unfaithful. Sometimes it might be tough, but if your marriage really is your #1 priority, and you find ways to fulfill your urges with my suggestions above, then you'll make it.

Ah, how I wish more people in the world were as common sensical as you guys.

I've had to explain to a few girls and pussy-whipped feministy men that masturbation and porn do not mean you are dissatisfied with your mate, that you have a hidden propensity for domestic abuse, or that you are planning on cheating or leaving.

I get so tired of females projecting their sexual preferences and biology onto men.

_________________________
"Gentlemen, the verdict is guilty, on all ten counts of first-degree stupidity. The penalty phase will now begin."--Divine, "Pink Flamingos."

The survival instinct is the stronger, you just used a bad illustration.

I never mentioned instinct. I only spoke of urges. This is what the original poster was talking about.

Maybe I am nitpicking but, to me, and urge and an instinct are two completely different things.

A person contemplating suicide still has the same primal instinct of survival as the rest of humanity. It is his urge to end his life that will overcome this. And you know what? He will probably want to have sex once more before he kills himself.

I've never met a guy, be he swinger or monogomous, who doesn't want to have sex with other girls. Its up to you if you wish to go ahead with it.

Mystery is sometimes the best turn-on, mind. I can imagine, once I actually cheated, feeling rather let down by the experience with the added 'bonus' of having my dear wife approach me with a pair of rusty shears.