New Glue

British scientists have announced today that they have formulated a glue which they believe is the strongest in the world.

Prof. Max Grady told TheSpoof "This is a major breakthrough. Previously the strongest adhesive in the world was thought to be dried-on Weetabix. That could stick an elephant to the wall. I know I've tried. But this new glue is stronger, although not as tasty".

A spokesman for Weetabix said this morning "We are naturally disappointed by the news. One bowl of dried-up milk and Weetabix scrapings can stick fifteen tanks to a cliffside".

But not everybody is convinced by the new glue. A random sample of children hanging outside for my autograph said they'd be sticking with Gloy.