Overcoming Denial: Helping Your Parent Get Help With Their COPD

Being diagnosed with any condition can be hard to deal with.
If you have a parent you think may have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease,
or COPD, and they either don't want to see a doctor or think they can
handle things on their own, you may have to help them help themselves.

Remember that COPD is a chronic condition, meaning that it
is not going to go away, so it must be dealt with if one expects to live with
the best possible quality of life. When COPD goes untreated, people with the
condition will see a dramatically decreased quality of life.

Recognizing Denial

"Being faced with a chronic illness, or condition, is
one of the most common reasons people experience denial," according
to the Mayo Clinic.

Understanding how to deal with denial can help you help your
parent push through the denial and get the care they need to effectively deal
with their condition. You also should understand that, in most cases, denial
rarely happens consciously. More often than not, however, the person in denial
does not even realize they are, and this may make it even more difficult to
help them through their situation.

Your parent may be experiencing denial for any number of
reasons, but one extremely common reason is the symptoms may not seem severe
when first diagnosed. This being the case, many COPD patients simply think it's
not so bad.

An older adult might be hesitant to accept a COPD diagnosis
due to a lack of awareness of the disease. Many of the symptoms, if evaluated
out of context, can seem like something else. It is much easier for an aging
parent to rationalize their shortness of breath with any number of other
causes. Especially when you're dealing with a chronic disease that has no cure,
there's strong motivation to think the symptoms are caused by something else.
These are typical denial responses.

Coping
With Denial

One of the first things you should do when helping a loved
one cope with denial is to step back and determine if your parent needs time to
work through their situation.

Next, let your parent know that you are willing to listen
when they are ready to talk. It can be uncomfortable for both sides, so
knowing that you are willing to talk about it may give them enough comfort to
open the conversation.

?Be upfront about your concerns and your desire to help your
parent get whatever help they may need. The thing is, you will need to lead
your parent to get the treatment he or she needs. And being a good listener,
and responding to what your parent is saying, puts deposits in the goodwill
bank and makes your parent much more likely to accept your help to improve
their situation.

Once you get the conversation started, you may suggest your
parent try one of these strategies to help overcome their denial:

Think about what you're really
afraid of.

Think through what might
actually happen if you do nothing.

Give yourself permission to be
afraid and show it.

Look for beliefs you hold about
your situation and evaluate if they are rational or not.

Journal about your experience.
Write about how you feel and what you do in a journal. This is just for you.
Nobody else will see it.

Talk to someone you can trust.
Family and friends can be a great support system.

Join a support group.

Getting
Mom or Dad to the Doctor

Once you have gotten your parent to open up to the
possibility they have COPD, the next step is to get them to the right physician
so they can be diagnosed.

You should see a specialist—a pulmonologist—for proper
diagnosis and treatment of COPD. The pulmonologist will take many factors into
account in diagnosing the condition, but one of the most important of these
factors is the result of lung function tests. Whether using a peak flow meter,
or a more sophisticated spirometry test, the pulmonologist will test and assess
the patient's breathing, measure how much air they can breathe in and out, how
fast they can breathe air in and out, and how well their lungs deliver oxygen
to their blood.

Facing a condition that is incurable can seem like a lot to
swallow, but one of the silver linings with COPD is that many effective
treatments exist.

Obviously, if your parent smokes, the first line of defense
is to quit. This is only the first step. There are many medications and
therapies that can help someone with COPD cope with their condition. There are
nearly a dozen different COPD prescription medications, including
bronchodilators and inhaled corticosteroids. Other treatments include pulmonary
rehabilitation (rehab), oxygen therapy, and surgery. Surgery is usually
reserved for the more severe cases, but it is an option if the circumstances
warrant it.

Knowing what symptoms to look for, helping your parent
overcome denial and seek proper diagnosis and treatment are all things that can
help you help your aging parent effectively cope with COPD.

Stay informed, as new medications and treatments are being
evaluated all the time. And, keep the lines of communication with your parent
and their health care providers open. Take these steps and you improve the
chances of minimizing COPD’s negative impact on mom or dad’s quality of life.

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