Waiting: for graduation, for marriage, for motherhood, for anything but this

I’ve spent a good majority of my life waiting and wishing for the next thing. I remember being in my senior year of high school, waiting for graduation and then when I’d graduated, waiting for my college move in day. When I moved into college, I remember waiting to go home for summer. Now that I’m home, I wish I could be back at school or just graduate and get a job doing what I love instead of staring at the thousands of dollars and years of education I still have ahead of me. When I’m jobless, I wish to have money, and when I have a job, I want more free time. And in my singleness, I wish to be a wife and to be a mother. It seems like what I have is never enough, where I am is never where I want to be. Why is that? Why am I always so discontent with where I am?

What I don’t want, is to use that stuff that I don’t have, or those desires to ignore the present, to ignore my present call to be a student, to be single, to be home. Yeah, I really, really want those things, but do I want them more than what God wants for me? That’s been a question on my mind a lot when I find myself caught in the future. Are my desires, the Lord’s desires? And depending on that answer, how can I better be serving the Lord through them?

Whatever your thing is…going to college, graduating, moving, getting married, becoming a parent, getting that job…(and so on) I want to challenge you to take a step back. In your waiting, in your pursuit, in your searching and breathe you in some Jesus. I know firsthand how hard it is to desire something so much for so long and feel like God doesn’t plan to ever make it happen. But let me encourage you in saying, it’s all in His timing, NOT yours. I would like to say that because I love Jesus, I’ll get all these desires of mine, but I don’t think that’s guaranteed, because like I say a lot, sin was destructive. Sin messed some stuff up. I do however believe that our God cares about our desires, because when we follow Christ fully, our desires should already be aligning with His. I know I’m guaranteed that Jesus will fulfill me and that God always fulfills His promises. I know that in whatever season, whatever stage of waiting, Jesus. Is. Enough. Easier said than done, I know.

Hebrews 6:15 points to the very fact that God fulfills promises. No exceptions. Maybe just not in our timing…And let me tell you, you don’t have to be Abraham to have the same thing. If you get a chance, read Abraham’s story and soak in Abraham’s patience (and also doubt) and most of all, God’s goodness. But God delivers, just like He said He would.

And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise.

Be patient. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with Jesus.

Waiting isn’t easy. Coming from a girl who has been waiting for marriage and motherhood seemingly since forever, I would never, ever say that. But I also know that Jesus often calls us to wait. Jesus even sometimes says ‘no’ after long seasons of waiting. That’s hard to digest, but know this…His desires for us are better. Better in every way. And that’s why I pray that if Jesus calls me to wait, I’ll be able to wait. That’s why I pray that if God says ‘no’, I’ll be able to say ‘no’ too. Because His ways are better and because my ultimate call in this life isn’t to be a student, an employee, a wife, or a mother but to be a follower of Christ. And if the Lord calls me to be anything else, I pray that I can do so all the while first and foremost being a lover and follower of Jesus Christ. Fully embracing my ultimate call first and all the others after. Waiting is hard but so is following Christ. Embrace His desires, embrace this surrendering, hard life that you’ve chosen, and know, in whatever thing you’re waiting on, you’re not forgotten (even if it’s not in your timing).