Banchory 2nds v. Portcullis - Sunday, 19 August, 2018

Toss was won by Portcullis, who chose to field.

Banchory 2nds : 151 all out.

Portcullis : 113 for 6.

WhatsApp Report on The Reid Cup Final.

The Reid Cup Final took place on August 19th at the hallowed ground of Mannofield. This was to be the first of two T20 Cup Finals that day. The second final was the Bon Accord Cup Final between Fraserburgh and Gordonians.

Unfortunately, I went on holiday that afternoon and could not therefore bring you a match report (hurrah I hear some of you cry!).

That in a way is a good thing. It was Shane Warne who said of Monty Panesar: "Monty Panesar hasn't played 33 tests, he's played 1 test 33 times" – a reference to his limited approach as a bowler.

I feel I have done the same at times with my match reports so this one will be left field and totally unique. It will be the Portcullis WhatsApp commentary of The Reid Cup Final – warts and all! I did not have to edit out any rude words as they were none. We will only reveal the one texter though. That was Toby Williams. He did a fantastic job of keeping those of us unable to attend gripped on the edge of our seats. The rest of the contributing texters will be revealed in Reservoir Dog Style names. The ‘names’ will give a slight clue to their real identities. As I cannot add the pictures to the website report I will describe them in text as they came out.

So here goes!

MR EL PRESIDENTE

“Good luck for today boys.”

MR BLACK

“Been very rainy in West End but now looking brighter and lighter”.

MR GINGER

“Everybody got transport? I’m getting picked up by Andy P.”

MR BEARD

“Right. So, who am I picking up?”

MR BLACK

“I say that, and it starts again. But the sky IS brighter [fingers crossed emoji]

MR BEARD

“I've got room for 1. I thought that was Ronnie with Richard collecting Owen and Andy getting Shovon and Brian. Is Andy now getting Brian, Shovon, and Ronnie? If so I'll get Owen.”

MR GINGER (in reply to the previous query)

Yes.

MR RUDE

“It's easier for me if you can get Owen, Dave”.

MR BEARD

“Yes, is not an answer. Who am I picking up?”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“I’m making my own way up”.

MR BEARD

“I don't know who I'm picking up and I'm about to leave so if Owen is ready I'll go and get him.

If I don't get an answer in the next 5 minutes, I'll go straight there.”

MR WHITE

“Good luck today lads hope weather improves”

MR TENNENTS (in reply to MR BEARD)

“I am not ready”

MR MIXING DESKS

“I'm getting Ronnie”

“And bri and Shovon”

[A picture of The Ant Hill Mob appears. They are a huge gang from the Wacky Races cartoon series that are crammed in a small car].

MR BANKER

“😂😂”

MR MIXING DESKS

“Ha Ha! I’m outside Shovon’s now”.

MR GINGER

“Brilliant!!!!”

MR BEARD

“Okay, I'll head there now with the kit and nobody.

Someone else will have to pick up Owen”.

MR RUDE

“Okay - back to plan A. I'll get Owen”.

[MR RUDE in keeping with the Wacky Races theme posts a picture of Dick Dastardley and Muttley as a reference to himself and MR TENNENTS]

MR RUDE

“Premature posting!”

MR GINGER

“Match delayed by 30 minutes to an hour”

MR KRONOS

“I’m on my way...will be there in 30”

MR BEARD

“The Ant Hill Mob and the Slag brothers have arrived. Dick Dastardly will collect Muttley and get here later. Penelope Pitstop will make her own way if her Mrs let's her out, The Gruesome Twosome will head out together at Professor Pat Pending and Peter Perfect (w) make their own way”.

MR BLACK

“So, for spectators 1230 is earliest start?”

MR BYRNE

“Good luck today guys”.

“MR BOOKIE”

“Good luck today lads”

[MR BEARD posts a lovely picture of the view of Mannofield from the home team dressing room]

MR BEARD

“The view from the home team dressing room.”

MR BRADMAN

“Nice. Good luck today lads”.

MR WHITE

“Good luck again lads”

[TOBY WILLIAMS posts a picture of the two Captains going out with the umpires to do the toss. No idea who won the toss, but it is Banchory who bat first].

[A picture then appears from the phone of MR GINGER. It is his two friends – MR BOOKIE and MR EVEN MORE GINGER sitting on a train with what appears to be a massive carry-out on their table!]

TOBY WILLIAMS

“3-114 off 12”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Big Dave takes a catch at square leg”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“4-124 off 14”

MR GINGER

“Come on!!!”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Kannan comes up with a wicket”.

TOBY WILLIAMS

“138 for 5. World Cup lucky piss has worked for both Andrew and Toby in the TMS box”

[The lucky World Cup Piss story came from MR GINGER. It first came to light back in 1978 when as an 11 year old, MR GINGER was at a friend’s house watching Scotland’s opening match against Peru. Being stupid wee boys MR GINGER and his friends took turn about to go to the toilet to see if their production of urine would help influence a football match some 7,400 miles away in Argentina. Lo and behold when it was MR GINGER’s turn Scotland – through the heroic Joe Jordan – opened the scoring! MR GINGER’s piss was of legendary status and the Joe Jordan 1978 lucky World Cup Piss legend was born. What happened? Scotland went on to get pumped 3-1 and MR GINGER took the blame from his friends as he could not squeeze another drop during the game!

Now at every sporting event he attends MR GINGER and colleagues STILL TO THIS DAY believe in the power of a lucky World Cup Piss. He even tries to take the credit of Scotland’s ODI victory against England down to the fact he was there and drank a tremendous amount of beer to sway the match Scotland’s way]

MR GINGER

😆😆😆😆😆😆

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Rotherham on a century”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Rotherham gone. Caught by Ross on the boundary”. (Did the Lucky World Cup Piss work after all?)

TOBY WILLIAMS

“For 102”

MR GINGER

👏👏👏👏👏🤝(clap hands emojis)

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Ross takes another catch”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Ross takes ANOTHER catch”

“8-149”

MR WHITE

“Come.on lads. Great fightback!”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Kannan takes another wicket”

MR GINGER

“Brilliant!!!”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“One more catch for Ross”

“All out for 151”

MR GINGER

“Superb”

MR WHITE

“Well done lads”

MR EL PRESIDENTE

“Brilliant. Get at them batting”.

MR BROWN

“Damn fine work fellas now get into them”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Away we go”

“10 for 1 off 2”

“Shovon caught!”

“40 off 7 for 1”

MR GINGER

“Come on lads!!!”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“58-3 off 10”

MR GINGER

“Who is batting?”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Kannan and Jay Raj”

MR KRONOS

“94 for 4 off 15”

“Require a dramatic finish”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“96-5”

MR GINGER

“Come on!!!!”

TOBY WILLIAMS

“103-5 off 17”

MR COOK

“I work with Sam Rotheram. Never going to hear the end of this! Good effort guys, cheers Gary”.

TOBY WILLIAMS

“Portcullis lose”

‘113’

‘For 5’

‘6 sorry’

“Valiant effort”

MR BYRNE

“Unlucky guys. Well played!”

MR WHITE

“Unlucky. Well played”

MR GINGER

“Well done guys!! Tremendous effort. We fought all the way!!”

“Thank you, Toby, for your commentary. Greatly appreciated!”

(With reference to the Lucky World Cup piss story) “I should have gone for a Joe Jordan 1978 lucky World Cup “brown trout” on the Flying Scotsman!!” (MR GINGER was on a train at the time!)

MR BROWN

“Unlucky guys, great effort!”

MR EL PRESIDENTE

“Gallant effort, proud of the team that took to the field”

MR BEARD

“We played well. One man was the difference between the sides. I've never seen hitting like that. One ball lost onto the pavilion roof and another hit into the reservoir.

2I don't think (New Zealand’s Brendan) McCullum did that [when he played here in 2010]”

MR GINGER

‘Ball lost!!!!’

‘‘Set Bob😡😡😡😡Adie to kill!!!’’

(Another photo appears of MR GINGER and his scallywag friends with a much depleted carry out on the train going south – just like Portcullis’s Cup Winning chances!)

“Very proud of my team today. We bowled and fielded well and caught everything.

10 of them had no answer to what we were doing but Rotherham was on fire. I can't ever remember seeing such brutal hitting at any level of cricket. I don't think he gave a chance until he mishit one to Ross who took it right back on the long off boundary”

MR BOOKIE

“Well said Dave 👍 fantastic achievement to get to the final and beaten essentially by one man! Well done Portcullis 🏏👍”

MR BEARD

“The story of our innings was three catches from our top three. These were difficult catches taken well to dismiss batsmen who were looking good. On another day they would have been three boundaries.

After that 152 was going to be a tough challenge. Banchory bowled well and despite 24 wides everything else was just too difficult to score off. Wilkinson and Rotherham came on and dried up the fours just when we needed to push it.

The teams were much closer than the scorebook suggests.”

MR BEARD

“It was an almost end to an almost season. That said there was a lot to feel positive about. Great weather and great cricket with many players making big improvements and reaching personal milestones.

Whatever happens next year with the grades, we will be there playing good cricket the right way”.

MR BOOKIE

“Well said Dave 👍👍👍👍”

(Next day)

MR KRONOS

“I’ve just read the book again, 28 balls to 50 and 48 balls to a 100. Shows you how well we did against the rest of their team. Truly amazing hitting!”

MR BEARD

“You take that one freak show performance out and we destroyed them”.

MR TENNENTS

“But that one freak show performance was in there. And we didn't”

“Think it'll stand it in good stead for the future in how to respond to a player going off on one like that. But they were definitely the better side yesterday”.

MR HULK

“I haven’t paid the match fee y’day”

“Sorry Missed it”

MR BANKER

“I didn’t take from anyone. You all deserved a free week the way you played. Don’t tell Bob (Adie – ex treasurer)”

Sent from my iPhone

So, there it was.

Our Cup Final WhatsApp report. In summary, Banchory scored 151 all out in 18.3 overs. Sam Rotheram top scored with a fantastic 102 from 50 balls. As MR KRONOS said earlier, his 50 came off 22 balls, his 100 from 48 balls. To emphasise how special that knock was the next highest score for Banchory was J. Ambrose with 15. Portcullis’s highest score was 31. In the following Cup Final straight after this one – the Bon Accord Cup Final the highest individual score was 29 between both sides.

Sam’s knock was that special it prompted one of our brethren to say he hit the ball further than New Zealand’s Brendan McCullum when he batted at Mannofield. I’m assuming MR BEARD is referring to McCullum’s knock of 166 v Ireland back in 2008. McCullum did score more than Rotheram but then Sam only faced 50 balls to Brendan’s 135!!!

Despite the knock from Rotheram, Portcullis took a lot of positives from their bowling and fielding. They took all 10 wickets within which eight were catches. Four of those taken by Ross McKenzie in the outfield. Kannan Vijayakrishnan finished with bowling figures of 5-15 whilst Dave Mitchell took 3-36 including (eventually) that man Rotheram.

Wickets did fall at the wrong time when Portcullis batted, although in fairness 151 was always likely to be out of reach. Jayaraj Raj, a man who has had fantastic knocks in the past himself (albeit nothing as spectacular as Sam Rotheram’s I grant you {yet!}). Finished defiant on 31 not out whilst Owen Thorpe chipped in with 16.

For Banchory Tom Wilkinson topped the bowling figures with 2-16 whilst Dean Abbott chipped in with 2-27. Ominously Sam Rotheram came onto bowl towards the end and only conceded 4 runs from his 3 overs to further emphasise his all-round skills.

Despite defeat their defeat, were no hard feelings from the Portcullis camp. They were outclassed on the day. We felt we performed well with bat, ball and in the field and we can’t ask for much more than that!!

Congratulations Banchory!! You were worthy League and Cup double winners in 2018. We hope you go on and give them laldy in Grade Two next season just like you did in Grade Three this season.

Also, a big thank you to Umpires Neil Scott and Jason Stark for officiating on our big day. At Grade Three neutral umpires are a luxury and we are always truly grateful for their services.

Finally, another big thank you to Aberdeenshire, Mannofield and groundsman Ken McCurdie for hosting both the Reid and Bon Accord Cup Finals. For most, if not all of us, we will not get to play on such a prestigious setting again. On a personal note I am sorry I could not attend on the day. I will be back next season though, hopefully as a player although more likely as a spectator. The latter will give me more time at the bar whilst watching lovely cricket (every cloud…).

It really does not get better than this!

MAN OF THE MATCH.

Banchory’s SAM ROTHERAM for all the reasons pointed out previously. We only wished he stayed as Dr David Banner for this match. Unfortunately, he morphed into the cricket equivalent of The Incredible Hulk from the second ball and there was no way back after that!

PORTCULLIS MAN OF THE MATCH.

I’ll make it a dead heat between KANNAN VIJAYAKRISHNAN and JAJARAJ RAJ. Kannan took 5-15 from 4 overs whist Jay finished on 31 not out from 35 balls – the second highest score of the day.