I can seriously say that I have not been able to play any of the past Serious Sam games. However I found Serious Sam 3: BFE to bring me back to old-style gaming like Doom, Duke Nukem, and everything else in-between. It’s like they brought back the simplistic shooter with better graphics and some funny one-liners.

So if you’re wondering what “BFE” means, it’s Before First Encounter, meaning this is a prequel to the original game Serious Sam: First Encounter. With getting started it explains that the planet had run out of the fossil fuels. Somehow while digging out under the Egyptian Pyramids they had found an ancient energy source that was able to bring humanity back to where it was going. After the activation of this equipment it sends out a beacon that calls the alien enemy to earth, causing the earth to end up near-extinction and the aliens taking over most of the world. The humans believe if they can activate this time machine, they can send in Serious Sam to take care of the aliens.

Serious Sam 3 is fun, but it’s also a bit janky. What I mean to say there are some choppy parts in the game where you try to go to the next part, but it won’t load. I’ve had a bit of issues with the moving on from checkpoint to checkpoint. After spending a lot of time trying to kill the monster that took over my helicopter, I found myself walking around for a bit until I finally hit the checkpoint that started the cinema for the next part. I’m not sure if that was the intention of the people who designed the game, because this game is like a retro update of Duke Nukem 3D (except much better graphics).

I really feel that this game was designed more on the aspect of playing on the computer instead of a console. I think that it’s much easier on the keyboard and mouse setup to play this game, as I found it to be a pain in the ass to figure out the control scheme to switch between weapons. They do have a memory switch on them, so when you go between two weapons you just press Y and it will get you back to the other weapon. To pick the one you want you have to go through the D-pad, which makes it hard because the weaponry is like wrapped around that scheme, where it’s not just up and down but on the diagonal part of the D-Pad. It does make it hard to try and grab the guns when these waves of aliens are coming at you, especially when the suicide bombers come after you. (I can’t help but laugh when they come running at you. This is all you hear!)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Serious Sam 3: BFE isn’t a letdown, but it has been hard to gauge how to give the whole perspective of the game. It uses a lot of the same aliens with the same skins, and they seem to be on a direct path towards you. The other thing is with the aiming, where you basically have to point in the area of the aliens and hold the trigger down. It’s really not too challenging when your using guns. Next to that you have to take into aspect the use of closed quarters weapons like the sledgehammer, which gives the game a good challenge. Melee is a good option, too, for closed quarters.

With that all said, I think what would be best is what suits you. If you go to the arcade on Xbox Live I say download it and give it a try, and if you feel it’s worth it then put the money down for the whole game. With me I would have to take a look at the bank account and say, is this game worth it? In most places the game is worth it, but I have to leave this one up to you, readers.

November 15, 2012Comments Off on Microsoft Finds Some Success With "Happy Wars" F2P

After Sony found some success in the free-to-play model (EVE Online: Dust 514, the plethora of games in PlayStation Home) it would seem like a no-brainer that Microsoft would dip their feet into this popular form of gaming. Teaming up with Toylogic (who helped out on Super Smash Bros. Brawl) the big M’s first foray into F2P-modeled gaming has come to fruition in Happy Wars.

The basis of Happy Wars is fairly simply: a tower-defense war between two parties of fifteen online gamers takes place on a field. The first one to infiltrate the enemies’ castle and smash apart their totem-poled Big Tower wins the battle. Of course it’s not that easy; you simply cannot just mosey into the castle and take the win.

November 13, 2012Comments Off on Episode CLX: Think Of Your Sins, Mr. Bond!

The Bastards love it shaken, not stirred.

This week the B3 are excited about the news that happened on the day of Tuesday, November 6, leaving both King and Blueonic jumping for joy about the future of one of their favorite things. The demos for Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two and F1 Race Stars are looked at, and King describes why the new Karateka remake is nothing but bad news. Finally James Bond comes full circle in the review for Skyfall.

November 8, 2012Comments Off on Take A Nostalgic Trip Down To "Retro City"

The road to Retro City Rampage‘s release has been a long and strenuous one. Originally supposed to be a de-make of the Grand Theft Auto series called “Grand Theftendo” Brian Provinciano’s brainchild started taking another form after he wanted to make it more original, not just a parody of Rockstar’s beloved series. Instead he took elements from games, cartoons, and movies he loved as a child and inserted them into the main storyline. What was just a mere send-up of a modern-day classic was now a super-parody, filled with jokes found in every crevice of the game. Retro City Rampage is also one of the best love letters to gamers since Polytron’s Fez.

In Retro City Rampage players take control of Player, a guy who’s the opposite of a goodie little two-shoes that helps the evil Jester pull off a massive bank heist. After the Jester accidentally blows up the bus with the loot, Player finds himself being chased by every hero and police officer in town. Soon he steals a time machine, kills Michael J. Fox, and meets Doc, who is tricked by Player into fixing the time machine for his own personal gain.

November 6, 2012Comments Off on Episode CLIX: You’re Business…This Is Pleasure!

It was a double-feature weekend for the Bastards…

This week the B3 crew review the new RZA-helmed The Man With The Iron Fists, which pays homage to classic kung-fu films of yesteryear. The video game-influenced Wreck-It Ralph is also on the table, a movie that just may be the best of its kind. Blueonic goes hands-on with the Wii U (yes, WII U) demo for Rayman Legends, and gives his thoughts on the new controller setup. Finally the demos for pid, F1 2012, and Home Run Stars are looked at.

November 1, 2012Comments Off on "Pool Nation" Finds Its Sovereign Groove

There are dozens, nay, tons of billiard-based video games out there, each one just as similar as the last. Developer CherryPop Games, on the other hand, has taken a somewhat different approach to the home of the 8-ball in Pool Nation, simply by giving players a chance to challenge themselves just a little bit more.

In Pool Nation players have the chance to go hands-on with eight types of billiard games, ranging from the usual games of 8 or 9 ball and Golf to some unique variations of the game in Speed and Killer. In Single Player mode gamers can go against AI characters in eight tournaments in 8 or 9 ball (four per each), or go the extra mile in Endurance mode. You can even learn some tips and tricks in Tutorial to add a tiny bit more of an advantage when playing against friends or computer opponents.

October 30, 2012Comments Off on Episode CLVIII: Official Cause Of Accident: Pussy!

A brand-new episode awaits, as if it was told in a dream…

This week the Bastards gripe about the Halloween happenings in Salem, but calm down when they chat about the recent Flobots/Astronautalis/H.W. & Emoh Betta show at T.T. the Bear’s. The movie Cloud Atlas is explained in the best way possible, with mixed ratings from all the group members. King Baby Duck and Blueonic get their Happy Wars on, KBD tries his hardest to showcase the strengths and faults of the Nike+ Kinect Training demo, and Teg gets jolly about A Game of Dwarves and XCOM: Enemy Unknown.

October 24, 2012Comments Off on Improvements In New "Counter Strike" Are Only Seen Slightly

Okay, you know I like Counter Strike as much as the next first-person shooter gamer, but Global Offensive is basically a minor revamping to the other Counter Strike installments. Don’t get me wrong: I love running around and laying waste to enemies, but I’m not sure if this is just another baby step taken by Valve.

With watching the video, it makes the game look even more interesting; almost like if I was watching that Deadliest Warrior episode with the SWAT vs. GSG9 or IRA vs. Taliban. However I feel with playing the new Counter Strike they have only done little tweaks here and there from the original game. They have upgraded the graphics, brought it onto the console, and have given and taken away certain attributes of the original title. Seeing that this game is originally PC-based they didn’t do it that way. From my understanding they took it, developed it for the consoles, and then reversed to the PC (instead of the other way around). That sucks for the concept of the PC user, due to the fact they have different movement schemes and way more buttons to push then just any old game controller.

GAMEPLAY:

Let’s start off with Arms Race, where you have to go through a round on a five-against-five setup on only two maps, which is a disappointment. However it’s one hell of a challenge. The setup to have either five people or bots playing in one map is great, but the fun part of it all is that you start with submachine guns and work your way through the set gun list until you get to the golden knife, which if you can stab someone with it the round will automatically end. The fun part about Arms Race is trying to get the kills before the other people on your team, so you keep getting the edge on the weapons. Usually when I’m on this game I just simply wreck a lot of the competition, or get a good rival on so it makes it one great challenge. This may frustrate other people who haven’t gotten used to play this style of game. It’s almost like playing the old Quake, but in a less bunny hopping around the whole map in two seconds deal sort of way. If you decide to hop or — as I like to call it– Halo jump you lose a lot of accuracy, so it’s better to be crouched or standing to take out opponents.

Another game mode is Demolition, where they have terrorists run to plant a bomb at a specific site, and the Counter-Terrorists have to take out all of the terrorists before the bomb’s placed or defuse the bomb to win. Next to that there is just Classic Casual, which has the Demolition and Hostage Rescue for this mode. They have it set at best-of-ten rounds, and friendly fire is off so your teammates can’t kill you. Just remember: when you go into the custom matchmaking, be sure to switch the map selection after choosing. Finally there is Classic Competitive, which has no big differences besides friendly fire being on and it now being a best-of-thirty rounds.

Besides the new Arms Race add-on, I don’t really see any new maps they put on. Basically they polished this game and slapped it on the system to keep the game’s name alive. This gives me a bit of hope that Valve may have put this franchise on the back burner, bur has some plans in the future for it to be another ultimate game to build off of. I’m not sure how you can change the simplicity of this game to make it that more amazing, but I feel this is a nostalgic throwback to about twelve years ago when the game originally came out.

This also makes me believe that whenever they come out with the next installment of Half-Life it will be a bit better. When the first one came out it had these games as attachments, such as Team Fortress Classic, Counter Strike, Blue Shift, and all the other goodies they gave us. The issue that I have with Valve is that they haven’t done any real updates that I’ve seen for the console version Orange Box. I know they have come out with a ton of updates on Steam, but they have not done it for the Xbox 360 or PS3. It makes me think they have neglected the console realm, but I have not lost hope for Steam to help out, even though it’s not usually one of their first go-to places to release a game.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

All in all I think Counter Strike: Global Offensive is a great throwback to the original. It’s all polished up and ready to go, but I’m not expecting any great leaps and bounds with this game regarding updates and the such. It’s just a way to hop on a game, relieve some stress, and leave it at that. This game has a high replay value due to the competitiveness of the game from the past twelve years, acting like one of those time vampires in a similar vein to World of Warcraft. Still I love playing Counter Strike, especially now with the Arms Race as I seem to be really good at laying waste to people and winning a few rounds in a row. If you got a couple Xbox Live/PSN points I say go for it. Have some fun, damn it, and that’s an order!!!

October 18, 2012Comments Off on Revamped “Warlords” Makes Things More Complicated

Over thirty years ago the Atari 2600 released a game that was one of the first four-player co-op titles to be put out for a home console: Warlords. In it you and your friends had to protect your forts from one another via a movable shield while a Pong-like ball flew towards your area. Now in 2012 Atari has remade the game for the PSN and Xbox Live Arcade, having it take place in medieval times and adding a few extras to the gameplay.

The main name of the game remains the same: protect your fort from barreling objects, while at the same time eliminate your opponent’s domain. Instead of regular balls we find the main hazard being one made of fire and shot out from the throat of a dragon. As the game goes on you can earn special power-ups (such as slowing or reversing shields and making your fort invincible for a short period of time) that can make things more difficult for the other players. In order to collect said power-ups you will need to use your special minions to stand on the power-up circle long enough to grab them, although the other players can make things more difficult by having your minions attack yours at the same time.

October 16, 2012Comments Off on Episode CLVII: Seven Psychopaths And A Cemetery Equals Great Ending!

Like a crossbow arrow going through a guy’s neck, here zooms in the Bastards with another fun-filled episode!

This week the B3 crew show nothing but praise for the recent Middle East concert featuring Peelander-Z, Electric Eel Shock, Math the Band, and Sam Mulligan, as they convince you why you need to go out and support these acts. The new Martin McDonagh film Seven Psychopaths is reviewed, as KBD and Blueonic try to find a good way to truly explain this crazed dark comedy without spoiling it. Finally the guys look at the demos for XCOM: Enemy Unknown, Forza Horizon, Retro City Rampage, and Naughty Bear: Panic In Paradise, with some conflicting views from both sides regarding two of the titles in the spotlight.