Reading Troubles.

I think about the Tarot every day. I study my cards and my books almost every day. I do not, however, lay out a spread and try to read it every day. Perhaps I should.

I’m not the type of person who feels the need to consult the cards for every little question I have or decision I need to make. Will this woman like me if I approach her? Why ask the cards when the best way to find out is to just ask the woman? It just seems superfluous to me. The cards are to be consulted when I have a serious dilemma or am curious about something about which I cannot just go and find out.

The problem with this approach is that, even though I am well versed in the cards themselves, I sometimes have trouble understanding them in the context of a spread. It’s like vocabulary in grade school. I know what the new words mean, but I’m not quite comfortable enough to use them in a sentence.

This problem compounds itself precisely because I only read for serious situations. I need the guidance of the Tarot now more than ever, and it is very frustrating that I can’t seem to figure out what it’s trying to tell me.

I’ve been turning up the Emperor a lot lately as the conclusion or key to my problems. The situation is one in which I feel cheated, angry, and powerless. Most of the small cards that come up are swords, which is fitting both in terms of the outer conflict I’m facing and the inner turmoil I’m feeling. Occasionally, I’ll turn up some wands, which indicate to me that I’ve got to keep my resolve, and be open to creative or otherwise flexible options.

But the Emperor is not a card I spend much time with. I suspect the Tarot is advising me to channel his authority, his control and stability, and his willpower. But how do I do that? How does the Emperor rise to his position on the throne of power? I’ve always been the Hermit, standing at the lofty heights of the mountaintops, but there is no tangible authority there. How does the Hermit, in many ways the antithesis of the Emperor, become him?

I need to continue to work on this. I suppose in the mean time, it wouldn’t hurt me to do simple daily spreads, even if just for practice. Why should I be snooty about what’s appropriate to use the Tarot for? And a daily spread doesn’t have to be frivolous; it could just be a way to focus thought energies for a day, which, while possibly mundane, is not really frivolous at all. There is no better way to broaden your lexicon than to simply read and write, after all.

I agree with your conlucion, definitely spend some time with the cards, in many ways I understand you, I don’t read the cards everyday and only consult for major things. You could try pulling the emperor card and while looking at the card intently, scrying?, pull cards face up that help you contextualize the journey from hermit to emperor. Look at the entire deck and try to channel the emperors energy and chart the journey to him using the cards face up.