batchelor tom - "redneck penal colony"

These are the lyrics to a parody of Garth Brooks's 'Two Pina Coladas.
This version written by Tom Batchelor.

I was drinkin' some booze,
I was stealin' some shoes
When this fella came on the P. A.
He said I'm tellin' you
This time we caught you
And now you're gonna have to pay.
So I set off runnin'
But that dude was cunnin',
Before long I got myself caught.
Now I'm in a cop car
Headin' behind bars
So I said without a second thought ...

Bring ... Me ... To the Redneck Penal Colony
Underneath Joe's Grille And Bar
Whiskey seeping through the rafters
And those beer-drinkin' fun-lovin' guards.
Where the jukebox just plays Country
And the dances sound like thunderstorms.
Bring me to the Redneck Penal Colony
And I won't never want to go home.

Oh now I've gotta say
That the beer in my face
And the brawlin' upstairs every night
Helps me break free
>From that wheelin' and dealin'
That I used to call my old life.
Well they put me on paa-role;
Instead of goin' AWOL
I went to the shoe store again.
They called the same cop,
And I shouted on top
Of my lungs, Now won't you be a friend, and

Bring ... Me ... To the Redneck Penal Colony
Underneath Joe's Grille And Bar
That whiskey seepin' through the rafters
And all those beer-drinkin' fun-lovin' guards.
Where the jukebox just plays Country
And the dances sound like thunderstorms.
Bring me to the Redneck Penal Colony
And I won't never want to go home.
Bring me to the Redneck Penal Colony
No I won't never want to go home.