Monday, December 15, 2008

Over the weekend, I watched the second big screen attempt at making an interesting and exciting film about The Incredible Hulk. I will admit it… This second attempt is more exciting than the last one.

Ang Lee’s Hulk was so painfully boring, I pulled the plug on it after about 40 minutes. Louis Leterrier’s was way more interesting and action packed.

I remember reading my first Hulk comic book when I was about 7 or 8 years old… I just didn’t think he was all that exciting. Banner got angry, got big, powerful, turned into the Hulk, and threw stuff around like a maniac. Sure, Banner and Hulk were outsiders… Blah, blah, blah… But it just didn’t grab me. The Hulk just lacked the depth of Batman and Spider-Man. He always bored the heck out of me.

I watched the television series with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno when it came on, but I wasn’t crazy about. Since I was a 11 year old kid with no mischief to get into on a Friday night, I simply watched The Incredible Hulk. With only 3 channels at the time, it sure beat the hell out of collecting my earwax to make a candle.

Hey! I was young and actually thought about it. Ye without stupid kid-thoughts feel free to cast that stone.

I remember the final scene where they closed the show every week by playing that soft gentle, hopeless music or as it’s commonly known as “the love theme”. That tune just has to be in the key of D minor, because as Nigel Tufnel of Spinal Tap once said… That key will instantly make you weep.

But what I remember fondly and best about the whole Incredible Hulk thing?

A retarded boy named “Nathan”.

For eighteen years of my life, I was forced to go to church every time the doors were open. There was choir practice just about every Sunday after the evening service. Since I didn’t care about singing in the choir, I hung out with the other “dragged” to church kids. We would often venture through a small vacant lot grown with weeds and littered with broken glass to spend our small allowance on candy and junk at the corner store. I stuck mostly with Brownie drinks and novelties like fake dog crap and ice cubed flies. We also made our own entertainment and mine was generally watching other kids run around like maniacs and their little arguments. And that’s where “Nathan” came in.

Try as he might, “Nathan” didn’t fit in with the other kids because they were too busy with their little cliques. He didn’t fit in with their BS.

“Nathan” wasn’t immune to the popularity of The Incredible Hulk television series. He loved it.

“Nathan” would try to play and run with the other kids, but being the type of little jerks that kids can be, he was shunned. That made him angry and hurt… And that’s when he would say Banner’s/Bixby’s famous quote, “Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.”

The kids would all laugh and snicker at “Nathan”. Then he would “Hulk-out” like the scenes from the television show. He would snarl. He would look at his clenching and unclenching fists as if he was transforming into The Hulk. Then he would pretend to throw his ripped up shirt to the ground and then he started chasing the other kids.

They screamed wildly when they scattered to elude “Nathan The Hulk”. If he managed to corner one of them, he would simply roar and flex like the green Lou Ferrigno. But that was a rarity. He usually chased and ran around until he got tired. And when he got tired of the chase… He would find a spot to sit still and transform back into “Nathan”. While doing this, he would hum in a high pitch. With his voice, he recreated that sound and scene from the television show.

Here’s what I mean…

I never tired of watching The Incredible “Nathan” terrorize the younger and the “too good for Nathan” kids. It was quite a treat for a sick bastard like me and always entertaining. As a matter of fact, I started referring to him as “The Incredible Nathan” and we would often recap the episode from Friday night. “Nathan” usually had an interesting and different take about them.

--Today’s musical choice hasn’t been released yet and the artwork that I have may not be the final cover. For information on this fine Jane’s Addiction tribute album… Click here. Or you can just send an email to Tracy Thornton… Tracy@panrocks.com

2 comments:

You were so mean! Actually I was mean to a few kids. I think about them much more than all the people I was nice to over the years. My younger brother went through an Incredible Hulk stage - very annoying. I've always enjoyed Tracy's music both solo and back in the day with the kids. If you get a chance, read my latest post. It's about radio. I'd like your opinion.