Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It's an unfortunate world we live in when someone feels so hemmed in by the pressures of society that the only way they feel they can confide in someone is to mail an artfully constructed postcard to some dude in Germantown, MD who packages them together and sells them in bounded collections. Well, the NFL is even more harsh and doubly forbidding of confession, but those struggling with it can always turn to NFL PostSecret. At least we aren't making money off their pain. That's only for the league to do.

NFL PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where players and coaches or whoever I feel like making fun of mails in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. It's also a satire of this.

kid u are a hypocrite cuz i bet u neva saiid all that shit u said in ur blog (which by the way makes u fuckin fat virgin geek fuck that spends his time writing blogs i mean who the fuck does that u fuckin fat fuck...ur gonna die a virgin kid) to someone while u lived in the greater Boston area....ur a fuckin loser kid u think the whole nation "hates" us...ur so fuckin retarded kid like the whole nation is gonna think of one issue and that issue being Boston fans and their GOOD fuckin teams in every sport......ur fuckin dellusional and stupid...u and ur little crew of Boston haters are like 10 percent of the whole american sport fans...kid by u writing all that bullshit u wrote in ur blog u made urself sound stupid, c'mon bro grow the fuck up, find a girl, get laid for once, lose some weight, and get out of ur mothers basement, and stop playin halo 2 cuz all yall computer geeks are fuckin inlove with halo.....

**Excerpt from actual e-mail Drew received in response to his Boston sports fan post.

59
comments:

"grow the fuck up" from someone who renders "you're" and "you" as "ur" and "u." Together with 4th-grade-level sexually-themed taunts and the always-awesome-never-old-and-busted "get out of ur mother's basement" zinger, this is indeed a ringing endorsement of Patriots fans. And kudos to the Boston school system. Heckuva job.

Seeing as though it is unlikely that you yourself have actually said "all that shit" that you wrote about on your blog to someone living in Boston, that makes you a hypocrite. (As an aside, the mere fact that you even write a blog in the first place is evidence that you are a 'fucking fat virgin geek fuck,' which you shall remain until your passing.) The very notion that the entirety of the nation hates us is laughable, and thus proves you are a child of low quality.

It is obvious you are a child with a mental handicap to believe that everyone will side with you in regards to your previous statements on Boston fans and the teams they represent (really, that's the best I can do to clean that 'sentence' up.) You are fucking delusional and stupid. Yourself, as well as your insignificant cadre of Boston-haters make up only 10% of all sports fans residing in the United States of America.

Child, after writing to what amounted to cattle excrement on your blog, you came across as sounding ill-informed. Brother, please, I beseech you to ascend into adulthood, meet with someone of the female sex, fornicate, decrease your physical mass, and also move out of the basement inside you mother's house. Finally, it is preferred that you stop playing the video game 'Halo 2,' seeing as though all electronics aficionado's are smitten with that game.

Wow Jl White, just, wow. I'm a lil late to the party, but thank god I was because that has me laughing my ass off in my cubicle to start the day off.

I should also mention that I am a Pats fan residing in Canada, and frequently ask my gf and family for tickets to try and take a road trip down to Foxborough to catch a game. Maybe I'm just better off not knowing what my team's fan base is truly made up of.

u and ur little crew of Boston haters are like 10 percent of the whole american sport fans

Well that's still a high number, only my beloved Yankees have a higher percentage base of haters accross the country. For instance, take the KC Royals 1% of the US are fans of this team, meanwhile the other 98.9% are woefully indiferent.

Admiting that 10% of the US hates your cities teams is paramount to admiting that upwards of 30,000,000 Americans go out of their way to hate your team. Congratulations.

I was unaware that the US Coast Guard set up Wi-Fi booies off the coast of Boston for the elementary school graduate Bostonian fishermen to use while at sea. Good for them! I bet those Massholes are surfing the web all day looking for lobster porn instead of fishing. Everyone remember the scruffy guy from the Perfect Storm that is all over that fat broad drinking Bud at 7AM in the bar? *ding* *ding* *ding* there's your author right there.

ur fuckin delusional, wait wait, scuze me, "dellusional" and stupid (still can't get over that irony)...u and ur little crew of Boston haters are like 10 percent of the whole american sports, whoops, sport fans who think it's fackin' when it's really fahkin', you left out the H which emphasizes the ahhh all we Bahstonians use, u fuckin, whoops again, fahkin' fat virgin geek fuck

I like how he says "kid" all the time. That's really cool. Only cool Boston people use kid as punctiuation. Did I spell that right? Who gives a fuck? What are you the grammer fairy, kid? I'm gonna go smoke maaddd beers, kid and come back and kick your ass. Kid.

First of all #39 of The patriots is our first string RB. I don't think I'm arrogant. I've certainly seen plenty of asshole fans but I think all teams have their fair share. It's just hard to be humble when you watch your team destroy other teams week after week. I've never done so much light reading while watching the second half of a football game before. Go Pats! Later, I gotta go get ready to watch the Redsox play in the World Series.

Wow... That guy makes me sad to live in New England. I guess capitalization and punctuation, let alone grammar, aren't taught in area schools any more.

I just ran across your site from one of the comments on the Easterbrook article. The New England sports fan posting was funnier than shit. There are a lot of douchebags here, but then again, there's a lot of douchebags in any city where there is success at the time. New Englanders just bring the "no respect" card to a whole new level.

you're feeling nice and generous, and you let the gimp out of his cage and off the chain for 2 seconds. how does he reward you? gains access to the internet, and he has to go and use all the big boy words. who taught him those, anyway? zed, was that you? that's it. BAD GIMP. BAD. BACK TO THE BALL GAG.

I posted this at the end of BBD Boston fan article, but I think it could use a second go 'round for those who missed it...

Side story: My best friend lives in boston, I went to visit him a few years ago it was february of '05. So we're hanging out in Sommersvile smoking outside of the bar when some dude starts pushing me, yelling "Who da fack do you think you ahr? Wearing that facking hat in Baston"...yep this dude was starting a fight with me because I was wearing a yankee hat. As a black guy I'm safer fucking white chicks in alabama than wearing a Yankees hat in boston...this country has come a long long way.

Awww poor Matt. Did your little dingy get hard when you thought you saw a mistake and were going to pounce all over it? shucks. Matt's pea sized brain, "I'll show those fackers how great us Boston people are..." Stupid ass son of a bitch. When your lobster boat picks up the wi-fi signal again, come back on and try again. This time... look harder before you speak.

Better watch out chamomiles, our Flyers are looking good. As a side note, I wish the Pats were coming to Philly. Now there's no way Philly wins the game, but that fact certainly wouldn't stop the fans from, let's say, throwing D batteries at Tom Brady... Think I'm joking? Go ask Troy Aikman how he liked the Energizer shower...

Even money says that he's out of high-school but only cause Pa needed him to help at the bar or the firehall or the lobster boat.

Now that is hilarious. The Perfect Storm meets Little House on the Prairie.

As an aside, the pain that Philly sports fans feel is palpable and I feel for the Phillies, but not the Eagles (due to how rowdy the Vet was). If one of those teams won the championship, I think the city would go up in flames faster than a California wildfire from all the wild celebrations.