A
song fitting for the dark endless sparse tundra of the Finnish north, 2017
sees Norma John singing "Blackbird", a turgid nothing of a song
that is well thought of. Not by me though, I don't want her singing below
my window. It's here

From the looks
of Sandhja's video of "Sing it Away" Finland has ghettos too and
they don't look too luxurious. What may have had an airing in Swindon's
nightspots in 1992, the only really offensive aspect are the zebra-print
hotpants on our bruising performer. She can be found here

Well, my giddy
aunt. Finland have certainly offered us the most controversial entrant of
the year, a metal band called "Pertti Kurikan Nimipaivat" with
"Aina Mun Pitaa", a 1 and a half minute exploration into two lines
of music from four mentally handicapped rockers. Don't be surprised with
douze points from France. It's here

The beat pop
combo Softengine are doing the blokes in the garage thing with "Something
Better" a feeling you will no doubt empathise with wishing for after
hearing this

The
Tourist Guide says

"Finland has a clear Nordic identity, but offers
the best of both East and West. Its unspoilt natural environment is the
perfect setting for all kinds of activity, whether you are seeking excitement
or relaxation. Finland has a vibrant cultural life, with a busy calendar
of festivals and events to suit every taste. Also, Finnish congress, conference
and incentive travel services are acclaimed throughout the world."
(Just in case you want a congress, many countries are there to help).

Helsinki

"In the capital of Finland, Finnish tradition and
a long history of eastern and western influences weave a rich and enchanting
tapestry. The city is full of contrasts, from the buzz of the business
city to the tranquillity of its suburbs."
"Fresh, unpolluted air, the presence of the sea and the green relief
provided by the numerous parks, the excellent sports facilities, and genuine
wilderness - easily accessible using the efficient and affordable public
transport - make Helsinki unique among world capitals."

A Finnish man jumped into the back of a police car by mistake as he left
the scene of a robbery.
The 28-year-old, only recently released from prison, jumped out again
but was caught by security guards at a nearby shop.
"He drove for four days breaking into petrol stations and cafes.
He couldn't believe he'd jumped into an officer's car," said Chief
Inspector Harri Pyosti.
Police had been following the trail that began in the man's home town
of Savonlinna, 205 miles northeast of Helsinki. It ended some 60 miles
away in Leppavirta, when the thief, who wasn't identified, jumped into
the police car.
"It was real fate. The officer was off-duty at the time and didn't
know the thief was about," Pyosti added.
---
A Finnish man has shot his brother dead, mistaking him for an elk.
The 21-year-old victim was hunting in the forests of Suomussalmi when
the accident happened.
The light was poor and the man's brother mistook him for an animal. He
died before an ambulance arrived.

A Finnish employer is offering £115 cash bonuses to workers who
can do more chin-ups than he can.
Crane company boss Pekka Niska from Helsinki said the health push may
cost him money but will be worth it to have fit and healthy staff.
Mr Niska, who at 66 still has bulging biceps and a washboard stomach,
said: "I want fit employees. Even if it costs me hundreds of thousands
of pounds it will be worth it in the end because their output will increase
four-fold."
Workers who want to go jogging during the day can also take up to an
hour on full pay beside their lunch hour, and Niska will pay 70p for
every kilometre they run after work.
Employee Anette Hollander said: "I have so much more energy after
a 10 kilometre jog that I get much more done at work than I normally
would."
---

A Finnish burglar got stuck as he attempted to get into a grocery store
through a ventilation shaft. The 20-year-old was forced to cry for help
in the early hours. Local residents in Joensuu heard his shouts and
contacted the police. Firefighters had to be called in to rescue the
man from the shaft. It is reported that the suspect was breath tested
by police and found to be four times over the legal driving limit.