WHISPERS OF MY UTOPIA: I'M FASCINATED BY PEOPLE AND THEIR BEHAVIOURS

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The only thing I share with John Ngoru is bad handwriting. But I can write and sign cheques, just in case you thought my handwriting is illegible. The thing is, it’s just bad but legible. It appears to have confidence issues and overwhelmingly dependable on my moods. Speaking of which, it bothers me how much energy and focus I apply just to write nicely. Writing a letter at a time with its own breathing and personal space is, to say the least daunting. I mean, where does the patience to write endearingly come from? In my thinking, one should write as fast as one constructs the sentence in his head. Writing shouldn’t be slower and perfect. It should have some sort of ego and shrubs of beards, especially men handwriting. What I’m I driving at? That it’s an offense for men to have cute handwriting. Back to Dr.Ngoru, our similarity can only be enforced by our handwriting and not perusing medical journals and burning the mid night oil reading bulky books that do not trigger any urge to live a happy life. That aside, I jokingly enquired from him if there is a particular handwriting doctors learn in Med school. And he confirmed not one he is aware of.

Of course, it is intimidating interviewing somebody who is not only an alumnus of the envied Nairobi University School of Medicine but a lad who was among the creme of the class. How on earth do you top in Med school? To be more precise, he was the best final year student of the University of Nairobi in the class of 2013. You now get the drift!

I met Doctor Ngoru for the first time in the year 2004, in Nyahururu High School, both of us as Form Ones; timid and hugely over-monolised. We were classmates right from Form one to Form four. Speaking of monolisation that ranged from cleaning our uniforms in the dirty sinks, never mind without buckets, because buckets were a privilege especially for Form ones, to reverting to the dormitories after 12 am after the lethal bullies had not only retired to bed but fast asleep. It was more baffling for me in the sense that, my bucket and I departed ways right at the administration block, few minutes after my mum had stepped out of the school gate, when a face I couldn’t make up later, volunteered to assist in carrying my bucket only to melt into the crowd.

That notwithstanding, Ngoru, didn’t only top in our class, but the entire stream of over 150 boys so consistently for the four years of our high school course. And you’d think, he was such a book warmer. Certainly not. I know of fellows who studied harder and for longer hours than him. Dr.Ngoru was just an intellectual in a class of his own. He was a genius who was and is still shy to admit so. In fact, he tried to transfer school three times in high school and succeeded in getting admission to schools that were way better than Nyahururu High. Unfortunately, his parents couldn’t afford to transfer him to those schools even after being served with admission letters since they were way expensive. And so as it would appear, this didn’t thwart the efforts of Ngoru to study much harder even after fate looked grim and unrewarding.

And to put light to his childhood; Dr. John Ngoru grew up like any typical village boy then born in 1989, in a family of five siblings, as the firstborn in Kajiado District. His dad was a driver with the Ministry of Trade and Commerce based in Kajiado but sadly, lost his job controversially. What this meant is that Ngoru and his family had to relocate to their native home back in Nyandarua County. Having a jobless dad and a mother who was practicing small scale farming didn’t add up to much, in terms of family welfare. To add salt to injury, his dad had a responsibility of taking care of his parents and siblings (Ngoru’s grandparents and uncles/aunts).

What type of a kid were you? “I was a quiet kid who loved reading a lot. I moved to top the class from standard 4, where I maintained number one position from then to class 8.” Ngoru, spent his school holidays and weekends grazing his dad’s livestock in the far fields of Lake Ol Bolossat. Which brings me to the point; Andreaders should make a point of visiting Lake Ol Bolossat which for a fact, is the only lake in the former Central province. Here, you can enjoy the beach-like atmosphere and it can be very windy in the evenings. You will enjoy watching hippos from a safe distance, boat riding in the placid water body and peering at the bird life. For your information, there are very competitive villas and vacational homes with ample accommodation spaces. It is quite mesmerizing sipping your cold beer, eyes fixed on the calm lake that extends its wings to the sleepy Nyandarua Ranges.

Dr. Ngoru cleared his primary school in a local private school where he managed to garner 441 out of 500 marks, which was a massive record that fourteen years down the line, no one has managed to break it. He aimed to join Mang’u High School but that proved quite elusive. Who should we blame when one garners such impressive marks only to find oneself in a low caliber school?

What was the feeling when you ended up in a provincial rather than a national school? “Initially, it was very demoralising but I accepted my fate by 2nd term of Form One course. What pushed Ngoru to be this aggressive in his performance? “All I wanted back then was to get my folks off the poverty line.” Which tricks did he use to remain top in class all the way from Primary school to Campus? Ngoru politely dismisses the question of tricks or strategy. “Really no tricks. I was just a normal kid doing what was expected. All I can confirm is that; I rarely forget once I read something. It only has to be once.”

What were your highlights in High school? “As I said; Maintaining position One expect for once, from Form One to Four; Participating in Science Congress up to the National level; Being part of the Music Festivals group that proceeded all the way to the Provincial level; Earning favour from the school principal for being consistently the top student and for my discipline. I also participated in numerous Mathematical contests and I recall being involved in a road accident at one time coming from a contest in Nyeri High School where by the grace of God, I suffered only minor injuries.” Some of your projects that found their way to the National level include? “I fondly recall one that was about a Water pump fitted on bridges. The weight of vehicles driving over the bridge would pump the water. This particular project performed very well at the National contest. Unfortunately, I never pursued it after that. It’s one of those things I regret of.” As for me, I tried presenting a project to the Science Head of Department teacher in the safe company of my deskmate one Lucas from Kinagop who was far better than I in sciences and to our shock, the suggestion which couldn’t befit a project was easily disqualified at the school departmental level for lack of substance. Auuuch!

What’s amazing is that even after Ngoru’s parents were unable to clear his huge school fee balance after clearing Form Four in the year 2007, the school was patient enough to wait for 7 years, after Ngoru had settled in the job market whereby he settled the staggering balance. For the record, he scored an A plain (82) in his KCSE results which is a record Nyahururu High School has yet to break, ten years later. For the two years one would wait by then to join campus, he undertook a certificate course in ICT and moreover, commenced his CPA studies which he managed to clear in under two years. And as you’d expect, he scooped an award for being the top student countrywide in June 2009 exams.

Dr. Ngoru started off his Bachelor of Dental Surgery course in October 2009. By then his dad had secured a favourable job while his mum was running a small business which meant, they managed to send him some pocket money for him to survive in the city under the sun. Ngoru having participated in the 2009 census exercise, had managed to save some cash too which again helped him push along. He quickly established and acclimatized himself as a top student where he further vied and won to be the Vice – Chairman of NUDSA (Nairobi University Dental Students Association). He was also a representative of University of Nairobi Nyandarua Students Welfare Associations (UNNSWA); He wrote and published two articles in the East African Medical Journal; Represented University of Nairobi at the IADR (International Association of Dental Research) East & South African Division where he emerged top and won the Hatton award (2013) in South Africa; Represented IADR East and South African division at the global meeting in Cape Town South Africa in 2014.

As mentioned earlier, he emerged the top final year student of UON in the class of 2013 and was awashed with awards from Nairobi University, Colgate Palmolive, Dentmed and Elida Ponds Foundation. He proceeded to enroll for an internship at Kenyatta National Hospital which he completed in 2015. He was then posted to Lodwar District Hospital under the County Government of Turkana where he still works on part time basis occasionally flying from the Wilson Airport. I quizzed him about Lodwar ambiance? “It’s very hot with temperatures ranging from 35 degrees, at times going as high as 45. Lodwar is a cosmopolitan town.” From what I gathered it has no hill leave alone an anthill and happens to brag of two iconic geographical features; River Turkwel and Lake Turkana. Ngoru attests that the latter has white beaches only comparable to Diani’s water-front.

In addition, Dr. Ngoru tried his luck at the prestigious Karen Hospital where he was hired as a resident dentist. While there, he had the rare opportunity of serving the high and mighty in the society. His clientele included former presidents, some of African First Ladies, Cabinet secretaries, Governors, Senators, Members of Parliament, Senior judges and so forth. He would later quit to launch his own state of the art dental clinic at the onset of this year. Clearly, Dr.Ngoru has no regrets for quitting to self-employment since Dental Access has grown in leaps and bounds to be a power house in matters dental health. It is located in the heart of Nairobi at Cardinal Otunga Plaza.

I indulged Dr.Ngoru on Kenyans uptake in matters dental hygiene. This is because I visited a dentist for the first time ever, this year when I battled an excruciating pain for nearly a week. For many years, one of my molars had endured a tooth decay which I toyed with for long, that it could undergo a root canal. Months ran into years and the day of havoc had finally knocked on my doorstep without bulging. The unrelenting tooth ache that was especially worse at night had coincided with my exams dates. Since it was always less severe during the day, I would reassure myself that the pain was dead and gone only to resurface from about 11 pm when retiring to bed and not let go. Not once did I sleep holding my right cheek till morning, sporadically fetching over the counter painkillers that had now been outsmarted by the sheer cold, solid and penetrative pain, leaving me with no choice but to vow that I’d visit the dentist first thing in the morning only to develop cold feet and postpone the whole mission. My fear of the dentist was all about stigma brought about by my mum when she boxed a dentist for a tooth extraction that had gone bad. It appeared the dentist was a quack who made my mum endure all the pains of extraction since she was not properly numbed.

Why do toothaches worse at night? “There are many schools of thought that include; low temperatures at night trigger tooth aches as opposed to the warm temperatures during the day. But more importantly, it’s worthy to appreciate that when one lies down, more blood rushes to the tooth exerting pressure and thereby bringing inflammatory mediators with it.”

Away from dentistry, Dr. Ngoru has managed to set up a poultry farm for his parents in Nakuru producing more than a thousand eggs in a month and about 600 broilers every two months. This is an enormous credit to him for investing in his parents with a sustainable wealth of such magnitude. Is there pressure attributed to first borns? “Yes, the pressure is palpable. Be it endeavoring to being a credible role model to the younger siblings and dealing with insurmountable expectations from the parents. Of course hailing from a typical Kenyan family, the burden of taking care of one’s parents and the younger siblings is inevitable.”

What’s your word of encouragement to the youth who’ve lost hope in life? “Two things; Whatever you do, whether by fate or choice, do it to your level best. Avoid idleness and associate yourself with people who believe in constructive ideas.”

We end it on that note congratulating Dr.Ngoru and his wife for the blessing of a bouncing baby boy to their lives. May he grow to fill the size of daktari’s shoes in matters intellectualism, humility and dignity.

This article should have been published last week but something eroded the whole rationale. 30th June was fast approaching with thick torrents and fury. What to do when your whole extended family and friends who haven’t called you in fifty years finally emerge from nowhere and keep your phone buzzing unusually! So, around this time of the year, I usually feel quite proud of my career since very learned doctors who spent years in medical school studying complex stuff like, deciphering Human Cell Biology; TSC employed teachers salivating and edging in to meet their pensions; Beautiful, yellow-skinned lady bankers who apparently have no appetite for longer dresses who live for swindling the rest of us to take loans and subsequently sending their goofed and mean-looking credit officers to keep tabs on why the loans are not being serviced; Arrogant entrepreneurs whom you’ll spend years trying to explain to them what is I-tax, passwords and the need to have an email…name them. They will finally discover my number and call naively asking what is requested of them to file these returns. When you mention of P9As, they’ll condense and assume that is something close to a clearance form from CID. That was last week; Maddening crazy and overwhelming. Credit to I Tax portal – It was fast and efficient this time round unlike last year.

Further afield, we are putting up with July weather. Of course you and I under estimated the cold until we bumped on images about the Icing in Nyahururu and the acute low temperatures. What’s with Nyahururu and clouds falling on people’s heads and roads. Isn’t that invigorating? Well, by now you know I was raised in Nyahururu. In actual sense before global warming encroached, made a safe landing and settled, July was one of those months we all dreaded for. I recall my brother and I back then in lower class, where by 6:15 am we would painfully live the house to meet the annoying school bus. A time like July, we would shiver from the teeth to the intestines. Mind you we were on shorts, slogging through the mist and biting cold. By the time we boarded the bus, we couldn’t feel our legs.

Time for Gryz! Back in 2009, in the lifts of the tallest building at that time of Ngara area code was Vision Institute of Professionals. An accounting school where CPA was discovered, nurtured, instilled and exported to the rest of the colleges. In fact, most of these colleges which sprouted out after (Thanks God it was pre-Matiang’i era) had their founders cum lecturers start their careers at Visions. This was the epitome of excellence in the accounting field. Then, having been new to Nairobi, using lifts was quite fulfilling for me. Particularly because I was brought up in the village, Nyandarua County to be exact which has no single hill expect an ant-hill. So, being here boxed in a lift, my height dwarfed by humans with a taste for Nairobi fashion and fancy phones and school bags; I wanted to be like them.

It was on such moments that I met Gryz Wahura. Not that we exchanged pleasantries but at least I got to know of her. She was overly short, light complexion and with feeble legs. While I was joining Visions, she was clearing. Clearly, she was astounding by any standards. CPA not being a cup of tea course, we all wondered how she made it here. What cooked in her ambitions? She must have real fire burning in her belly and a self-drive that would move Kenya economy to first world. Watching her along the corridors, one could tell that was a walking gem eager to learn and change lives.

Eight years later(2017) I inboxed Gryz on Facebook requesting to have her featured in my blog. She had no qualms. I had her draft something for me about her life which I used to come up with a questionnaire to squeeze in more juice for this article. Ladies and gentlemen, here is Gryz’s story told for the first time on an online platform.

Gryz Wahura was born 29 years ago in Nyakahuho village, in Gikondi location, Mukurwe-ini Nyeri County. From the ages of two to fourteen years, she was raised by her grandmother. She is from a single mother who was the bread winner of the entire family. She was born a normal kid, crying and playing like any other until the age of three. This is when her mum realized that her beloved daughter had a spine problem. After back and forth to quite a number of hospitals, she was pronounced as to have a deformity in her spine. Her spine was curving in as she grew instead of forming straight. The spine being a very sensitive part of the body, nothing much could be done out of fear it could cause paralysis to her whole body. Growing up in the village at such a time had its pros and cons. First, there was stigma caused by lack of not so many cases akin to Gryz’s in the village. On the other hand, everyone got used to her physical challenges and she was treated like any other pupil in school including being punished like the rest if she featured in the list of noise makers or not completing her homework. She was active in co-curricular activities namely sports, drama and music festivals. Being treated like a normal kid helped her physiological wounds heal faster. In such formative years of one’s life, it is important to feel indifferent. But you can’t be indifferent in adulthood. Ama? You need to discover yourself, cut your own niche, embrace your personality and goals and remain self-reassuring. To that extent, it is difficult being an adult hahaha.

Something happened on the eve of her KCPE exams. She got a paralysis on her legs. Gryz was in and out of hospital for eight months for therapy and medical checkups, where she was confined to a wheel chair. Gryz later joined a special school for persons living with disability for her O levels in Thika, which was a big chunk of advantage to her because of the facilities and meeting classmates with similar challenges. While here, she lost meaning to life. And as she puts it, “at this point I lost meaning of life. I was a bright kid but I was never serious with my studies in high school, after all to my thinking, who would employ a person on a wheelchair despite their education!”

What was your initial experience on the wheel chair

At first I could not seat on it, I was in denial that I was paralyzed. It took me around six months to accept the situation, until when I joined high school and found other students with severe disability.

I cleared my high school in the year 2004 and I didn’t know what next. At this time I had moved to Nairobi and the stigma from the society was just too much, I didn’t know how to face the world. I had no idea what to do with my life more so since I didn’t know of any college or university which accommodated persons with disability. Between January 2005 and May 2006 I shunned myself from the society and the only place I used to visit was the hospital for my therapy.

How long did it take you to accept your condition

After continuous therapy I started regaining my senses and I could walk again using crutches. I went through a lot of counseling through workshops and training which played a big deal in accepting my condition. I accepted who I am and realized that there’s so much to life than disability and made a decision to continue with my studies. At this point I didn’t care about public perception so long as I pursued my life.

I indulged Gryz about her adolescence experience.

High school was fun. Being in a mixed school, one could have more than one boyfriend and several secret admirers who would keep writing notes to you without revealing their identity and leave you to do all the guessing. I was very confident in high school which made it easier for me to interact easily with everyone around.

Later she joined Visions which disappointingly, was not disability friendly. This meant, if the lifts were not working, she could only be left with no choice but to use the stairs at times to sixth floor.

In July 2006 I joined Visions Institute of Professionals as a KATC student. At first I didn’t know what would be the reaction of the VIP’s family would be, but what mattered the most is that the management accepted to admit me, the college was accessible and I had a goal in life. I made friends at Visions, several of whom are still good friends to date. And very few people didn’t want to be associated with me.

You searching for a job

Luckily, I didn’t hustle for job. A friend from my current place asked me to apply for a job vacancy which was advertised internally and I got the job.Joined Kenya Education Management Institute (KEMI) in January 2012 on a One year renewable contract as an Accounts clerk. Got confirmed on a permanent and pensionable basis as an Accountant 1 in July 2014.

Gryz is very active in Sports

In the year 2010 I joined Para sports as an athlete I participated in field events i.e. short put and javelin throwing.

In August 2010 I was a Gold medalist at the Great Lakes Athletics held in Nairobi. In the same year, I was appointed the National Treasurer of the Kenya Cerebral Palsy Sports Association.

In 2011 I joined the umbrella body that is the Kenya National Paralympic Committee as a Committee Member. This position came with several responsibilities, among them coordinating a youth workshop in Rwanda, youth training camp in Korea, African youth training in Nairobi and a Team Manager for the 20th Common Wealth Games held in Glasgow, Scotland.

Tell me about what motivates you in life

My Mum is my all-time motivator. She encourages me in all ways. I wake up every morning with her words in mind “Grace your life is greater than your disability”

Social Life

I love life and touring is part of me and that’s why I joined the Maina Kageni Road Trip Tour. Have been to several exciting places in the country and few other places in Tanzania and Rwanda.

Tell me more about Maina Kageni Road Trip

I joined the team when they were on their third week of the tour after I heard Maina talk about it on his morning show on radio. It’s very simple to join, since you only have to pay.

How have you been handled by the rest of the crew in the road trip

Maina and the entire management have been very supportive and extremely friendly. I remember the first time when my friend (a wheelchair user) and I joined the crew, Maina was very encouraged.

Most memorable visit

When we visited Kyanguli Secondary School where the fire tragedy happened in 2001 and killed 63 students. The images were very disturbing. It was overwhelmingly emotional.

Tell me about a typical day in office

I wake up at 6am and retire back at 12 midnight. I get to the office by 8am. Being in a Finance Department, I’m busy all the way to evening.

I also do more in this institution than just accounting stuff. I’m a member of committees like;

Disability Mainstreaming Committee

Integrity Assurance Committee

Information Security Management

Tender Committee

Currently, Gryz, is pursuing her Finance degree at KCA University.

Nick Vujicic perhaps one of the most popular persons living with disability worldwide having been born without arms and legs but two small feet, at some point succumbing into severe depression from bully in school, survived all this horrifying childhood challenges and by now is a huge motivator to legions of us.

I will leave you with two of his quotes;

If I can encourage just one person then my job in this life is done…. There’s no point in being complete on the outside when you’re broken in the inside.

Are you a young person, with a compelling story that you strongly believe should be retold to a larger audience for the sole purpose of inspiring and educating. Reach up to me on wandrewism@gmail.com

In this part of the world, every Wednesday and Saturday works out as the Market Day. This is the day all and sundry converge to the market to shop for everything from fruits, veges to second hand clothes and shoes. It’s the only place excluding church where the well-to-do mingle with the REST as they ransack goods and trade in skilled negotiations. All under one roof, they bear the noise from hawkers, music vendors, unwelcomed preachers, mad men, bodaa guys and anything in between. It’s a meeting of sorts that brings together health-conscious middle class, shrewd entrepreneurs, Mamas selling hot porridge, kanjo people, pima weight fellows, dawa ya mende dudes…..and pickpockets all united by one mission; to make it happen!

You are also likely to meet your office tea-girl(s) and that intern in the HR department, in the middle of this thick mammoth of humans. They will go like;

You also notice men fighting midlife crisis, donning tired Stanchart marathon T-shirts accompanying their wives on this day, something you highly recommend. It’s very therapeutic. It breaks the monotony in the house if not cutting off the habit of slithering home at 2:15 am to wake a validly furious wife. Try it. Smell the market. Get to see where she buys managu and those carrots from Shamata in Nyahururu. Escorting her to the market might help her forget that call from the insurance lady that called you at 10:31pm the previous night. And to ladies; please don’t call a married guy after 7pm not unless you have a better plan for him after he is divorced.

Where were we…..? The advantage with doing your weekly shopping in the market is due to the relatively cheap prices than when you visit your Mama Mboga. Mama mboga is there to milk your money. Be aware. Sorry to all Mama mbogas. Anyway, on this day I got a call from Kageshi requesting that she takes me to the market after many days of postponing. For so many reasons, my weekends are quite occupied meaning I hardly get time to visit this place.

But on this Saturday, since I had sent her a message that my afternoon class had been cancelled, she saw it perfect to help me shop from the market. Here I was, armed with my college bag and so drained by the screaming, January sun. Right at the entryway, we were met by this lad selling kuyus C.Ds, with a music stereo attached to his stomach that the guys from NEMA should have witnessed. Business comes to a standstill when this guy is on location. For Kageshi and I, we had to find out if our eardrums had been blown off minutes after he was gone. The sound was annoyingly harsh.

We made our way to Mama Waiganjo as Kageshi would refer her for the sweetest sweet potatoes in this side of River Tigithi. Wife material network having been enabled, I found myself taking notes again. You remember Isn’t She A Wife Material?

Kageshi: Most round shape, sweet potatoes are tasteless. Go for the oval shape.

We buy two the size of Nairobi ladies’ waistlines and walk over to buy some tomatoes. Here a beautiful lady joins us, as she carefully combs for the very best. She smells epic. I also like her kinky hair. What goes through my mind at this time, sandwiched by Kageshi and this chiq is how reassuring men view the whole idea of women insisting on carrying their stylish contemporary baskets and heading to the market. Spotting ladies in those wedding-dresses the ones that are balloon-like and strictly reach at the knee, busy walking from vendor to vendor with their sun glasses/hats and weekend rubber shoes is extremely enviable by men.

Why so, for the simple reason that men have had to deal with many women who have lukewarm attitudes when it comes to matters kitchen. Hence finding one who appreciates healthy eating and shopping from the market, can make a man’s receding hairline halt. Shopping in the malls is one overrated exercise of our times. It’s a feel good activity that makes fool of ourselves especially when it comes to fresh products.

Walter Kang’ethe, chairman of Bachelor-Accountants Association (BAA) may not decipher why Kageshi and I were stunned to buy tomatoes at 50/- per kilo. That was damn cheap. Walter and all your subjects, I forgive you. If you make it past the bachelorette stage successfully, you can certainly be anything you ever imagine to be. Ignore that as our eyes landed on apples pleading for a bite. We grabbed a few for 30/- each after our negotiations were met with resistance but however saved from the 35/- or more that trades in the malls. We bought onions in the next stall with the same trick I wrote previously, about feeling the top whether it’s dry.

Moving on swiftly we bumped to this mzungu who got the attention of this seemingly 5 year old kid waving at her steadily. Being a cool mzungu, she walked right over, gave the kid a handshake at the glare of excited parents pulling ear to ear smiles by now. Come-on Paul Mathai of Mathai Gallery , you should create time with your Cannon camera to drop by and take some unrivalled shots in this place. Meanwhile a smiley banana chap packed us some few. I took note of; One should go for the big and firm. Don’t get twisted, hehe. They have a longer shelf life.

We wrote off potatoes, after-all Nyandarua County where I was born and bred is a hotbed of POTATOES. Did I just say hotbed! I also don’t recall the last time I cooked sukuma after Kageshi introduced me to Kamande. (Lentils). Also to note is that Central Bank alluded to high cost of sukuma and its cousins to having driven up inflation, just the other day! Very strange. We concluded the day at the Peas area, where mamas seated in a long stretch, busy removing the peas from the pods, solicit for the customers’ attention. It’s a confusing affair before you settle for one. Here Kageshi whispers; The smaller the better. The bigs ones are just empty and tasteless.

I so liked the whole idea of the market and while at it, this Bible verse came to mind. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.