Week in Sloth

The Week in Sloth

“Big Brother” (KRQE-13 8 p.m.) Every spring, the swallows return to San Juan Capistrano. Every summer, we get another season of “Big Brother.”

Friday 8

“Torchwood: Miracle Day” (Starz 8 p.m.) Like the mind-blowing Season 3 maxi-series “Children of Earth,” Season 4 of this BBC sci-fi hit consists of a single story arc. Everyone on Earth has suddenly lost the ability to die. Is this a miracle or some sick curse? Americans Mekhi Phifer, Bill Pullman, Lauren Ambrose, Ernie Hudson, C. Thomas Howell and John de Lancie join the cast. As if that weren’t enough, the show is on pay cable now—so the cast can actually get naked for a change!

Saturday 9

“Dino Gangs” (Discovery 6 p.m.) Like dinosaurs weren’t scary enough. Now they ran around in gangs?

“Tough Cookies” (Food 8 p.m.) Tired of reality shows about people who make cakes? Tired of reality shows about people who make cupcakes? Has Food Network got the solution for you: a reality show about people who make cookies!

Monday 11

“Man vs. Wild” (Discovery 7 p.m.) Manly man Bear Grylls starts his seventh season by camping out in the wilderness in a tent with actor Jake Gyllenhaal. Hmm. Something about this situation seems very familiar.

“Gordon Ramsay’s Great Escape” (BBC America 8 p.m.) Tired of yelling at crappy chefs and second-rate restaurateurs, Chef Gordon Ramsay trades it all in for a travel show.

Wednesday 13

“The 2011 ESPYs” (ESPN 7 p.m.) Athletes finally get the recognition they deserve as EPSN and host Seth Myers hand out nifty gold statues. That, a multimillion-dollar contract, a major endorsement deal and a Kardashian sister are all a sports star could ask for.

“Roseanne’s Nuts” (Lifetime 7 p.m.) Roseanne Barr gets her own reality show. The only odd thing about that (seriously, what took so long?) is it’s about the 40-acre macadamia nut farm she owns in Hawaii.

“Legend Quest” (Syfy 8 p.m.) If a hundred or more “In Search of ...” rip-offs have been unable to locate legendary items like the Ark of the Covenant or the Holy Grail, what’s one more Syfy Channel show gonna come up with?