Big Brother 18 House of Mirrors: Girl Power

By Justin Mooney, August 10, 2016

The resurgance of the Spy Girls, and the many complications of America's Care Packages

Girl Power

“In my opinion, [Paulie] and Nicole are running this house. . . . And I just want everyone to know that ‘cause it’s true, and I think people might be oblivious and choose not to believe it and think I’m a liar just like Tiffany, Day, and Frank. But I’m the fourth person that’s saying this. I actually hope this season isn’t full of dumb people that are oblivious to stuff.”—Michelle

Is Michelle in danger because she figured the house (AKA Paulie) out, or did she figure the house out because she’s in danger? I would wager on the latter. Isn’t it awful how the only time you see the truth is when your back is against the wall? And isn’t it particularly resonant this week with Michelle, the girl who wouldn’t listen to Tiffany because she thought everythingTiffany said was a lie? Oh Michelle, you should've spent less time on Reddit and more time on JokersUpdates.

Fortunately, Michelle has an ally—in Bridgette. And not only has Michelle started to like Bridgette, she loves her now. “[Y]ou’re awesome!” she tells Bridgette. “Like, I frickin’ wanna go surfing with you; I wanna go to the bars, like seriously.”

Woo! Welcome to GT, Meech! What took you so long, babe?

As Michelle campaigns to Bridgette, it is Bridgette who leads the conversation. She lays out Michelle’s options and sets Michelle on track,telling her that she has herself, Natalie, and Victor. Bridgette is holding our superfan’s hand through this eviction.

“[I]f you’re in the frickin’ Final Two, you have my vote hands down!”—Michelle

This means that the vote ultimately hinges on James, the recipient of the latest America’s Care Package. But what America doesn’t know is that James is possibly the most conservative player in the Big Brother house. James thinks that playing at the mercy of “the house” is the intelligent way to play the game.[1]

So what else do we got? Bridgette concocts a scheme to flirt with Paulie in an attempt to make Zakiyah jealous, but Natalie independently arrives at a parallel idea: She tells James that Paulie has been hitting on her in private, talking about how he wants to wife her up, bite her butt, and take her on a date outside the Big Brother house. Paulie made these comments in jest[2], but it’s enough to awaken the white knight in James.

And away we go!

Bridgette tells James she wants Michelle to stay. Natalie immediately concurs. A few hours later, Natalie tells James that Paulie wants to put her on the block, a tidbit relayed to her from Bridgette. Natalie continues to sow seeds of distrust about Paulie until James eventually breaks. James, Natalie, Bridgette, and Michelle then bring Paul into the fold by telling him—among other things—that Paulie arrogantly refers to him as his "puppydog"! Everyone is saying Paulie is the new Frank.

Spy Girls are back, and they are running this house! Operation Save Michelle was a stunning success.

Please, Mr. Postman

Everybody’s talking about the Care Package twist. We’re doing it right now! On the conversational and social media front, it is a coup for Big Brother.

It's a shame this twist has been so excruciatingly ill-conceived. Let’s review: There are five weeks of Care Packages America can award to the Big Brother houseguests; each successive Care Package, in theory, is a more valued package; and once a houseguest has received a care package, they are not eligible to win another Care Package.

Given the myriad constraints, I don’t see how America can vote in a way that reflects what they actually want. Big Brother is asking a majority of people to delay their gratification, to not waste an early Care Package on their favorite houseguest. That in and of itself strikes me as dubious.

But even if everyone comes together and thinks strategically, we should be able to navigate this deftly, right? Again, this seems impossible. There are too many variables to consider, mainly the HOH and the POV winner, but also the weekly fluctuations of the house.

The way that Big Brother coordinated the voting—having the voting window stretch from Sunday evening to Friday afternoon—only compounds this. We might not even know who is being evicted the current week before we start voting for a twist that effects the subsequent week. And by the time that we do learn who the new HOH is, we have—depending on the duration of the competition—missed out on 4 to 5 days of voting.[3]

Amidst all of this madness is a Double Eviction. What the heck are we supposed to make of this?

Surprisingly, it hasn’t been a disaster. The first two weeks have been decent. I can't really complain. At least Bridgette is still in the running for a Care Package, and with Super Safety on cusp, this is our moment my little Bridgette acolytes.

Let’s make this happen, America—if not for me than for Mr. Jenkins. He’s such a cutie.

[1]You are never compensated for doing “the house’s” bidding. “The house” has a short memory. It will use you up and discard you without hesitation.

[2] Natalie also played along with Paulie, saying things in the vein of "Paulie is going to be my future husband." It all sounded fairly innocuous to me.

[3] My suggestion is to attenuate the voting window, to simply push the opening of the vote to immediately after the Thursday live show. It would only leave viewers 16 hours to vote, but it would encourages the votes to be more strategic.