Tag: how to read body language

Body language of frustration: Whether you are out in public, at the office or even at the home there are times where frustration happens. Frustration can be because of you, another person or no one in general.

What if there were a way for you to see the signs and signals of frustration to possibly defuse the situation before it escalates to more than what it already is. As you watch the man or the woman there are some very specific actions that happens as the frustrations sets in that you can identify and observe.

There may just be a few signs of frustration or you may find that there are many combined together. There are a few items to look at when determining a man or a woman is showing the nonverbal signs of frustration:

As a man or woman becomes frustrated you may first see the effects in their face. There may be the micro expressions of disgust or contempt in their face. The frustration in the face may go as far as biting the lip.

In some instances the man or the woman may just shake their head “no” and look at the person or even look away from the person that is the “cause” of the emotion and all wht while they may have the micro expressions going for everyone to see.

It may just be a sour look on the offenders face that will tip you off to their emotion.

If the person becomes angry while frustrated you may see their eyes pin and they may even become locked on the one who has caused the issue.

Body language of frustration and movements of the hands and arms

As a man or woman becomes frustrated you may see their hands and arms making sharp and fast movements. They may make a fist with their hands or the fist may be used as control to hold back from doing something they might regret. The man or the woman may push away their frustrations or throw their hands up in the air

You may see their arms leave past the area of social value meaning you can see their arms outstretched and animated more than normal.

The movements that you may see with the arms and hands may seem frantic especially the more angry that the man or the woman becomes. In some instances the frustrated person may not even move their arms and they just may be folded. Even with their arms folded you may see their hands shaking.

Body language of frustration and the posture of the man or woman

When you see the posture and the movements of the body of a frustrated man or woman the emotion may cause them to stand straight up. There are times where they may turn their body away from the offender who got them frustrated. The chest may be puffed up also as their anger increases.

Body language of frustration and the breathing patterns

As the man or the works their way through their emotions you may see them take deep breathes. The breathing pattern may also become shorter. Now there are times where you can’t see the rib cages of most people with clothes on but with anger you may see the excessive or deep breathing as the frustration builds

Body language of frustration and proximity

There are a few variations of proximity when men or women become frustrated. As frustration sets in and goes through the stages the proximity may change.

·Move towards the person who caused the frustration

·Move away from the person who caused the frustration

There are times where frustrated people move towards the man or the woman who has put them in the emotional state or near the item that is causing them pain or anguish.

For some the proximity of the party or item that causes the frustration is enough to get them to move away from the root cause, they may even give up and walk away.

Body language of frustrated men or woman and how to deal with them

Knowing the signs and signals of a frustrated person may allow you to defuse the situation by watching your own body language so that you do not activate the law of reaction. You will also want to make sure that you keep away from pointing and also watch your proximity to the person who is either frustrated and make sure you stay out of their bell bubble. Giving the person room so that they are not crowded will help but if you feel that they are closing in on you will want to get away. It is also not a good idea to get them cornered or crowded because frustration can turn to anger.

Body language of a speech or public speaking: Leadership requires speeches or lectures from the CEO all of the way down to managers or department heads. You may also see politicians give speeches. While you are reading their body language you may be able to determine a few things from whoever is speaking for whatever reason.

If you want to be able to persuade better there is no better avenue than to be able to speak in front of a crowd. For some who do speak in front of a crowd their body language is a distraction and the message that they are trying to deliver is not effective.

As with any deciphering of nonverbal communication or reading of body language you will want to baseline the person to set a guide as to what they do and whether it is normal for them or not. A man, woman or child will have different behaviors depending upon the situation and the emotion that they are feeling. Its always a good idea to get a feel for what they do as a routine and what is not normal for them.

When you are watching a man or a woman giving a speech there are many items that you can take a look at to determine what is going on with them. You may see signs and or signals of:

First off many people are not comfortable speaking in front of crowds or even groups of one two people let alone a full room so an adventure in speaking brings out the nervousness even for successful leaders. One of the “tells” that you may pick up on is the way that the man or the woman walks to their spot to speak or their pulpit. You may see a lack of confidence or possibly even a slow long walk to where they need to be. For someone who is confident it just seems like they should be there, they have a good stride, they show confidence and they just seem comfortable wherever they are.

As you watch for the nonverbal cues of nervousness you will see than hands shake or even a look of being lost. You may see signs of lack of confidence with the walk or just while the man or the woman is standing there. Many times the man or the woman will focus in on one or two people that they may think are “safe” and it makes the situation awkward or dilutes the message that is being delivered.

If there is a pulpit for the person to stand behind there may be a “death grip” on the edges and the whole speech or talk and the person may learn in. While a woman or a man is behind a pulpit they may just look down at their notes and not even look up at the people that they are addressing.

Body language of lies and or deceit while speaking

While you watch the man or the woman giving a presentation there are signs and signals that you may observe while they present that will give you clues to if they are telling the truth or not.

Since you have base lined the speaker you will be able to tell what is a normal or routine action for them or if their touch is out of the ordinary. You will also want to look for a mismatch where they may say that like something but their head shakes no like they were answering a question silently.

The man or the woman may show the lobster claw of deception or even touch their face at a point where the story gets too good or over the top. Now blinking can be induced by lighting, contacts or even medical conditions and it doesn’t always mean that the story isn’t true.

Body language of frustration and anger while giving a speech

Sometimes the man or the woman who is speaking doesn’t have a good or happy message to deliver. The words or the story that they punctuate are done so with their actions most of the time with their arms and or hands. Many times when anger or frustration is present the actions are sharp, overly animated and in some instances choppy. These actions are not to say that the man or the woman isn’t confident it is that they are amped up on emotion.

You may see the man or the woman shake their head and smash their lips together, take deep breaths before they speak, point or wag their finger, show the micro expression of disgust or contempt, wave their arm as if they are pushing or sweeping away an invisible object and in some rare instances give obscene gestures.

In some instances there are times where the speech or the talk is on something that has some sorrow attached to it. You will more than likely see a lack of confidence or the shoulders turned in, possible grip on the lectern or pulpit and an overall slowing of the motions of the body.

Body language of surprise while giving a speech

Some men or women are given the opportunity to speak in front of a group of people and they were not even expecting it. You can see this when someone wins an event or is called in front of a group when a surprising event happens. In some instances this even may be something that causes sorrow.

If the even is good you may see micro expressions of surprise in the person who is asked to speak. There may be a huge genuine smile as a sign of satisfaction and happiness.

The shoulder shrug is an action where the shoulders go up while a question is asked or when a statement is made. Now this action can happen for the person asking the question or answering the question or the statement. There may also be a facial expression where the eyebrows go up along with the shoulder movement along with possible cheek movement and in some instances the eyes may be closed. There are many variations of facial expressions or even micro expressions that can be used with the shoulder shrug.

Along with the movements of the shoulders you may see that man woman or child raise their hands with their palms up. Some will explain that a person with the palms of their hands up is a sign of honesty or it could just be part of the shoulder shrug.

Body language of the shoulder shrug and what it means

There are a few things that the shoulder shrug can mean.

1. I don’t know

2. I don’t care or its up to you

3. Uncertainty or on the fence about the options

No matter what the reason that the shoulder shrug is used the actions of the body will be similar whether the person doesn’t know, doesn’t care or even has uncertainty.

Body language of shoulder shrug while negotiating or arguing

There are times where the shoulder shrug can be used as a nonverbal action to engage in conversation or argument to get the other person to talk. This strategy can be used in negotiation or arguments where as it is a reaction to a question. A question or statement is made towards one person and there really isn’t a verbal answer just the shoulder shrug, the use or no verbal actions in a way is the statement to get the person who asked the question or made the original stamen to keep talking.

Now this persuasive strategy works the best if its only used one time in a conversation or an interaction with a group or individual, the more that it is used the more it is seen as a ploy and loses persuasive power.

When this action is used in an argument it can make the situation worse as it can be considered a sign of not caring by the person reading the action. The man or woman may think the shoulder shrug means one thing when the person using it means another. The best thing to do at this point is to ask for clarification about what is going on. Now it is important to know that the shoulder shrug can cause problems where the other person wants you to react.

Body language of shoulder shrug and travel

When you don’t have the capability to speak another language whether you are in your native land or not the shoulder shrug is the way to explain nonverbally to the other person or people that you don’t know or understand.

Reading body language dangers: You may not have considered that there is any danger when it comes to reading body language. Even the experts make mistakes when interpreting what a signor signal may mean. The biggest danger is that you are wrong in a given situation and it creates some repercussions that cannot be repaired.

Now there is something that happens when men or women decide that they want to understand nonverbal communication better and that is they try to hard an read too much into a situation to reveal what they have though.

Reading body language and trying too hard

When men or women become interesting in reading body language they become eager to use their skills to help shed some light on a situation. The problem is moving too quickly of believing that every action has a meaning behind it.

Many times there is an underlying meaning to what the actions of the body mean. But on some occasions there is no meaning to what an action does or becomes.

Base lining the actions of a man, woman or child can help reveal what is really going on while interpreting the nonverbal communication of others.

Body language and the law of reaction

The people around you react to what you think is going on and when it comes to reading body language it only matters what the person thinks you are thinking. Their reaction is being based upon the thoughts and beliefs that they have about body language and what they think that an action means.

You may become an expert at reading body or an aspiring one but still you must be aware that there are many wrong beliefs as to what an action of the body equals and that means a set action or response will happen. Boyfriends have beliefs about what they think an action means when he sees his girlfriend talk to other guys. The action may be harmless but the reaction may cause problems. In all realities the action meant nothing but the boyfriend wanted the action to mean something. She may not have been lyingbut he wanted it so bad that he read into the actions to prove it.

There are time where you will want to believe so badly that an action really means something that you will do everything in your power to prove it right. This means you will dig in your heels sort of speak and defend your position even if you are wrong.

Reading body language and the danger of being right

There is another danger with reading body language or nonverbal communication and that is that you are right with what you read. You may find yourself in a position where you know that something is wrong and you can’t say anything. It may be that you catch your friends wife in a lie and know that something is up. It can even go the other way and that is you find out your friend is lying to his wife about something and it could even be cheating.

You may want to say something but there are times where you can’t, you will have to follow your own conscious as the way that you act.

You may be right when reading the nonverbal communications of others and their intention, you may even know that they are lying because you have used base lined the situation or you have read the micro expression of contemptwhen in the middle of a agreement. The challenge is when the people in your group do not agree with your assertions of beliefs as to what the facial expressions mean or could lead to.

The bigger danger is when you want to use the “I told you so” card later on down the road when your assertions were right about the dating, business or even just everyday life situation.

Reading body language and being patient

Be patient as you read the nonverbal actions of others especially when you are still learning your skills.

Be patient in reacting to others and their body language

Be patient before you describe what an actions could mean because there are times where relationships depend upon your description of the intentions of others.

Remember just like any other skill you will have to take the time to become better at what you do.

Body language of yes or no: Much of the communication that we do has nothing to do with what our mouths say. You read the body language of others all day long and sometimes its like an expert and the others times you may fall into the amature category.

The nonverbal cues that are given off while you talk come from your face, arms, hands, body and your feet. Sometimes you use your body to give out information, there are times where you are not even aware that you are giving information out while sometimes you leak the nonverbal actions that get you caught quite possibly in a lie.

Signs of yes and no with body language

Every culture and even some sub cultures have signs and signals that relate to body language. Some signs are almost universal throughout the world but there is not one item of communication that is 100% universal.

As always it’s important to baselineany individual that you are researching or reading. The cost of being right while reading body language can be bragging rights while being wring can end relationships. Your ability to baseline information and interpret the actions that are going on will depend on patience and experience.

Body language and the signs of yes

Typically when a man, woman or child uses the body language signs of yes there is an action where the head nods up and down, that may be one time or many times. Now this action of up and down can “leak” to other parts of the body. In American Sign Language (ASL) the action to say yes is a fist that is moved up and down.

The nonverbal sign of shaking a head up and down to signify “yes” can be understood in almost all situations even when two people don’t even speak the same language.

There are times where other signs of the body are used to agree with an action and that can be a thumbs up in the western world. You may even see a wink as a way to agree with a statement or an action. There are people who may even agree with a smile.

Body language and the signs of no

The signs of saying “no” are typically demonstrated by moving the head to the left or to the right. This sign if fairly universal throughout the world and it is even understood when the person does not speak your language.

The nonverbal actions of saying “no” do not always come from the movement of the head. They can come from moving an arm or arms laterally almost like the movement is pushing something away.

You may see the sign of a thumbs down as in disapproval along with a facial expression of anger,contempt or even disgust. In extreme cases the body language of “no” may become physical when that happens the body language of the protagonist or antagonist may also sign signs of animation.

A past president was caught lying when his arms did not match his words when he said he did not perform an act. This mismatch of body language is not always caught but it is something that should be caught by an expert.

If you were to wear a device that could block sound for a day where you really could not hear you would find out just how much nonverbal communication is used.

Reading body language: When it comes to learning how to read body language and nonverbal communication like an expert you do have a few ways to get your hands on the information that gives you the edge of knowing what people are thinking.

Knowing how to read body language of women or men can almost seem like you are psychic and know how to read minds when others see you in action

There are a few options for you to get the most out of learning the skills of reading body language. The few places that you can gather information are:

For today the focus will be on the last item and that is through your own work and research. You will find that it is easier than you think when it comes to learning how to read body language of women or men because most of the skills needed you already have.

This body language exercise requires that you have 2 or more people available and some time to learn the nonverbal actions of emotions. You will want to set aside some time possibly grab a video camera so that you can record your own coursework for later use and also for a way to watch your own body language. Your eyes may be opened up as to what the nonverbal actions when you have an emotion in the presence of others.

Body language and how to learn how to read it

Reading body language exercise: here is what you will need:

·Index cards

·A pen

·A list of emotions

What you will do is list each emotion on the index cards and draw them out randomly.

You and your partner or partners will act out each emotion on the card as you draw them. You will want the emotions random so that you do not have time to prepare for the action you have drawn. You will want this exercise to be as real as possible.

You will watch each person act out the emotion that is drawn noting what they do with their body, where there proximity is, what their facial features do when they act out the emotion. Note internally as many details as possible because these small actions or micro expressions will be needed later.

Reading body language like an expert and how to learn the body language of others

Now this exercise may sound simple but it will give you a good idea as to what you need to watch for while watching others. You need to learn how to read body language not just from watching others in the form of media but also in real life.

Sometimes the person or the people working with you will not accurately depict the emotion that they draw. You will determine what is off with their body language and make a note of it.

Reading body language and how to learn how to read the body language of women and men

As you learn real time what is going on it will make it easier for you to learn how to read body language of men or women form a home study course or even from reading a book on body language. Body language experts learn real time along with from courses and coaches

Your ability to not just act out the emotion with your body but also being able to feel the emotions will give you an upper edge over others who have just learned from a book or anything else of the nature. For those who do not take the time to learn what their body is saying while communicating they will “leak” their true intentions or emotions before they even come out of their mouths.

This body language exercise is meant to supplement other work in order to help you understand and interpret what others are doing with their bodies.

As a side note you will want to note that as you work with the person or group things may get tense when you act out emotions such as anger, frustration or disgust they may have a reaction negatively to you. Remind them that this is an exercise to learn how to read body language and nothing personal.

Reading body language: In every day interactions people have beliefs about your nonverbal communication.

Things that we forget about as communicators just get stuck on auto pilot when it comes to our body language.

Hypnotist will point out that “you can feel your right big toe throb” because it is pointed out. Reading body language or controlling your nonverbal actions are similar to the example of what the hypnotist would tell you.

Reading body language of fidgeting women

Fidgeting has to be one of the most common actions that gets picked up easy by a person who is viewing you as a communicator. While the person watches reads your body language they see your fidgets as:

·Nervousness

·Possible signs and signals you are lying

·Lack of self-control

Fidgeting can be:

Playing with your hair

Wringing your hands or being occupied with them or something in them

Playing with something in front of you or onyour clothes

Tapping the table

Reading the body language of fidgeting

Nervousness has many things that play out and fidgeting is one of them. Some people will play with their hands either rubbing them together or picking on their fingernails. The reasons that a person could be nervous may there is plenty of stress on the person or it is natural. There are some who just over time have started to fidget like some lick their lips.

Now for those who want to look at every body language sign and signal as a hotspot of someone lying this really may be one of those nonverbal actions that do point to someone not being truthful or that they are telling a lie.

Just because someone fidgets somehow it does not make them a liar remember it could be that they are just nervous.

Just for a second pretend that when you were stopped by the police for something but you don’t know why. You have not been in trouble in your life and you get hauled into the police station for a lineup for a crime that you didn’t commit. Would you be nervous? Yes you would be. Would you be fidgeting with something, your hands, your hair or even a piece of paper and a pen? That’s a good possibility. Would it be called for? Yes it would and it would almost be expected.

Now take an everyday example: You are at breakfast at a diner with a significant other and you are fidgety. Is this normal for you? Possibly, but what if the fidgeting wasn’t there? That could mean that something is going on that would need to be investigated more.

Just because someone has an action in their body language that can be read as bad does not determine for 100% that that they are doing the action that you believe.

Some say that when people are fidgety that it is an instant sign that they are lying. That could be the case if they are not a person who fidgets normally.

People under stress will fidget, people who are nervous will fidget and people who have a

natural action of fidgeting will fidget. Body language means to people what it does as the other persons actions happen, and that means if that person thinks that fidgeting is a “tell’ that you are lying then in their mind you are a liar.

The tough thing about reading body language is that so many people believe so many different things. If someone has read that fidgeting is a sure sign or “tell” that you are a liar then it is difficult to prove otherwise until the person learns that they are wrong and then accepts that their knowledge and skills of reading body language are flawed.

Reading body language of fidgeting for salespeople

Fidgeting on a date could signify to some that you lack confidence and do not deserve the person that you are with. Fidgeting on a job interview may mean that you are lying about your qualifications. Fidgeting with a significant other can mean that you are just being you.

Reading body language and good signs of fidgeting

If you are playing poker you can use fidgeting as a way to throw a “tell” so that the opponent may think that you don’t have a good hand. In this case fidgeting is a good thing for you to do if you think that as a strategy it will give you an upper hand between you and the other players.

Oh so you thought that all examples here would be negative. In just about everything there can be a positive and a negative including using fidgeting to your advantage.

Ok so you want another example where fidgeting could be good for you? That would be if you are buying something and you know that you have room to negotiate or maybe you think that you don’t have room to negotiate. When you as the buyer get to the end of the conversation of price for the product or service you would just be quiet and fidget for a minute and more than likely the salesman will lower the price if he doesn’t know or understand your game. In this case fidgeting can make you money or save you some.

Nervous signs of communication can sometimes be a good thing like in gambling or negotiating.

Go out and fidget the right way for your own personality but be aware that others can see it for something that it may not be.

Reading body language is a skill that you can learn from a body language expert. Learn how to read body language signs and signals here.

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about fidgeting and body language.