Adele 'embarrassed and ashamed' at lack of wardrobe malfunction

Top female singer Adele said today that she was 'embarrassed and ashamed' that she has not had a wardrobe malfunction at any of her appearances, but has instead relied on her ability to sing.

In an emotional interview, she said that she had 'let the side down' by failing to get her boobs out at any of her concerts or personal appearances. 'I don't know what I've been thinking of', she wept. 'I stupidly thought that being able to sing was what this business is all about. I now realise that with all the technology around, people like Cheryl Cole and Madonna can be made not to sound as if they've just dropped a cupboard on a cat, and that the only way that they can generate any publicity is to stage an "accident" where their boobs pop out at a moment's notice. I promise that from now on I will howl like a banshee and get these beauties out the second a camera is anywhere near me.'