How to drink your way through New Year’s Eve

Now that the Christmas Day has passed, Boxing Day is over, and Hannukah is almost a memory, our thoughts turn to the final holiday of 2011 – New Year’s Eve. Much hand-wringing occurs about what to do, and where, and with whom. But I can’t help you with that… this is not your typical New Year’s Eve “What to do…” column. Nor is it an article on fantastic cocktail ideas to enhance your celebration. I’m sure I’ve written of such things in the past, but this year, I just wanted to share some tips on how to enjoy the entire big event without the unfortunate blackouts, shattered dreams… or worse.

Don’t expect too muchSo one of the biggest problems with New Year’s Eve is the level of expectation. Many believe this should be one of the most ridiculously entertaining nights of the year… and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, a less-than-spectacular evening can cause some to view the whole thing as a disaster. My advice is, chill out, enjoy your friends, family, that cute stranger with the devilish grin and handsome beard, and just let it happen. If a 3am dance party awaits in your future, more power to you… but if you simply have a good time counting down the year, then head home to a comfy bed, there’s nothing to complain about, really.

Pace yourselfAnother issue people often confont is the sometimes overwhelming length of the celebration. Knowing that the festivities really kick off at midnight, many are still already in the bag by 11:30. The key here is to slowly work your way to the ultimate hour… stick to one type of liquor, whether it be beer or wine or vodka-tonics, until that midnight champagne toast. Then let loose and have yourself that celebratory shot. And don’t try and justify your early over-consumption by trying to get your money’s worth at some pricy open-bar party. The money is already spent, so just enjoy the occasion and your companions without trying to shove 100 bucks worth of booze down your throat as fast as possible.

The New Year’s Eve KissThis is perhaps the biggest impediment to a good time for us single folks on this “magical” evening. The women spend hours searching for that special someone to lock lips with at midnight, while some guys simply keep their eyes open for the drunkest female in the room. Give it a rest people… super-romantic meetings do not occur on New Year’s Eve. Drunken hookups do. If the latter is your cup of tea, you might be in for a treat. Otherwise, don’t be disappointed if a kiss does not ring in your new year. That said, if you see me out on New Year’s Eve, I might just be available for a brief but passionate makeout session that will make your toes curl and restore your faith in humanity.

OK, so that may be overstating things. Or it might not. Only one way to find out…

Finally, I just want to add that a crazy, drunken night of over-indulgence does not make you a bad person. But if you can handle your business in a reasonable manner and not end up hugging the toilet the next morning, or even worse, making an ass out of yourself in public, you might just get to enjoy the entire evening… and even remember it well enough to look forward to the next one.

So here’s to a great end to the holiday season on January 1st, and a good time for everyone.

Drink well, my friends!

Mark Burlet

Drunken Intellectual

Twitter: @DrunkIntellect

P.S.: If you find yourself inebriated and in need of a ride, find a cab. And remember that the Tipsy Taxi is in service this New Year’s Eve from midnight until 4am. They will be offering FREE rides (up to $50 value) home within the Baltimore metro area. Just call 877-963-TAXI (8294) to request a cab. Enjoy responsibly, folks!