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Trashy wedding etiquette

Ugh..... my my cousin sent out her wedding invites, via Facebook I might add. It's in her backyard which is a flat patch of dirt in the middle of the high desert. Her invites state that it is a potluck and to bring a dish for 30 people (not instead of gift either) and it is also BYOB. She invited many people from our of town including me and my parents. So not only does she expect her guests to travel and pay for a hotel, but she expects them to essentially supply the food and drinks for her wedding.
Now I'm not really snooty but I'm not going. I'm not getting myself and the girls dressed for a wedding in the middle of a dirt pile, driving over an hour there, buying and preparing a dish for thirty people, bringing my own drinks, and bringing a gift!
People need a realize its a fine line between being thrifty and being a cheap ass.

i asked people to bring a dish to my wedding but i asked them to do it as a gift or part of a gift and to bring a note card with the recipe so i could put them together and have a cook book of all the food at our wedding

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