A fan in denial, or just a little bit vile?

Gwen Knapp

Published 4:00 am, Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cindy McMackin sounds like a lovely person over the phone. She rhapsodizes about baseball, yearns for simpler, kinder times and tries to see the best in everyone, especially Barry Bonds. She has a 9-year-old son and another boy on the way in September. She is the author of "Screweverybody.com."

"My son's a little upset that we have three bad words on our Web site," she said, "but he's getting over it."

McMackin and her sister, plus four other friends and co-workers, designed the site and started peddling $20 T-shirts to declare their excitement about Bonds' pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record.

This is what we've come to. Bonds' loudest supporters talk about his critics more than about him. They fight his detractors more avidly than they cheer his accomplishments. They enjoy being the enemies of his enemies.

So for this one Orange County woman, it didn't seem outrageous to praise Bonds with a gutter-mouthed fashion statement.

Barry Bonds in the dugout during the San Francisco Giants vs. New York Yankees game on June 23, 2007. Deanne Fiitzmaurice / The Chronicle Mandatory credit for photographer and San Francisco Chronicle. No Sales/Magazines out. less

Barry Bonds in the dugout during the San Francisco Giants vs. New York Yankees game on June 23, 2007. Deanne Fiitzmaurice / The Chronicle Mandatory credit for photographer and San Francisco Chronicle. No ... more

Photo: Deanne Fitzmaurice

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Barry Bonds following an at bat during the San Francisco Giants vs. New York Yankees game on June 23, 2007. Deanne Fiitzmaurice / The Chronicle Mandatory credit for photographer and San Francisco Chronicle. No Sales/Magazines out. less

Barry Bonds following an at bat during the San Francisco Giants vs. New York Yankees game on June 23, 2007. Deanne Fiitzmaurice / The Chronicle Mandatory credit for photographer and San Francisco Chronicle. No ... more

Photo: Deanne Fitzmaurice

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Four Fans in 10 Rooting for Bonds. Associated Press Graphic

Four Fans in 10 Rooting for Bonds. Associated Press Graphic

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A fan in denial, or just a little bit vile?

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McMackin insists that a lot of baseball fans adore Bonds and don't believe that steroids or any other drugs made him who he is today. They're simply afraid to speak up.

If she really believes that, then why is the code phrase of her campaign "Screw Everybody"? Shouldn't it be "Screw 52 percent of everybody"? (An ESPN poll showed that many respondents rooting for Bonds to fall short of 756. An Associated Press-Ipsos poll released Monday showed 42 percent against, 40 percent for and 17 percent don't care.)

Better yet, shouldn't it merely be about giving Bonds some love? Where's the joy in this Mudville?

It's not the worst, though, or the most obscene. The small faction that attacks Aaron for choosing not to be in the audience for the record-breaker holds that distinction. Aaron desperately has tried to stay out of the Bonds-steroids debate, and as a result, he has been accused of being bitter, weak and a tool for Bud Selig, taking sides against a fellow black athlete. Aaron's reticence undermined the theory that racism alone explains the boos and asterisks and syringe costumes. He had to pay.

McMackin was appalled to hear that some of Bonds' defenders had gone after Aaron. She often thinks the whole world is against the Giants' left fielder and that no one stands up for him. (I assured her that the Bay Area was a sanctuary.)

She and her associates have sold 53 shirts. They also mailed out about 40 freebies to media members, including Chronicle reporters, Jay Leno, David Letterman and MC Hammer, who has blogged on Bonds' behalf.

More than half the e-mail to the Web site, she said, has been negative. "Very vehement," she said. "People really feel like they're being cheated."

Several times during our interview, McMackin admitted that she might be in denial about how Bonds arrived at 751 home runs. She adamantly opposes drug use in sports but doesn't believe, or want to believe, that chemistry put him at the threshold of Aaron's record. She craves the game at its best, without all the nagging questions and negativity.

"I just want to get back to baseball and apple pie, to enjoying it and being positive," she said. "I know I'm probably naive to think we can go back."

So she went nuts on the laptop one night, countering ugliness with more of the same.

I asked how she would feel if instead of boos from the road audiences, Bonds got the silent treatment. People who oppose his methods could stand with their arms crossed or turn their backs after a home run. That way, they'd be expressing disapproval rather than hatred. She was open to the idea. The booing really distresses her.

McMackin doesn't exactly regret adding her hostility to the toxic environment around the record chase, but she points to her husband, Ron, as a better example of Bonds' constituency. A longtime Little League coach, he saw Bonds as a collegian at Arizona State against USC and remembers how the Trojans' coaches and players stopped what they were doing to watch in awe as Bonds took batting practice.

"He tells these stories like he's talking about a Baseball God," Cindy McMackin wrote in an e-mail.

He probably won't wear the shirt, she said. It's not his style.

He supports her, she said, but also thinks she's a little crazy. He isn't alone. One of her adult stepsons, Rex, teases her for so boldly championing a pariah. He has asked her to make up a different T-shirt for him. It would say: "Screw Everybody. I Love Dick Cheney."

Four fans in 10 rooting for bonds
Forty percent of baseball fans want Barry Bonds to break Hank Aarons career record
of 755 home runs set more than 30 years ago.
Hoping he will break record
June 2007 40%
Oct. 2006 33%
Hoping he will fall short of record
June 2007 42%
Oct. 2006 48%
Opinion on Bonds regarding steroid allegation
Found he is treated fairly 57%
Unfairly 31%
Unsure 12%
Opinion on Bonds and baseballs Hall of Fame
He should be allowed into it 53%
He should not 36%
Unsure 11%
Sources: AP; Ipsos; AOL
Associated Press