trying out what Dr Phil said any opinions or ideas?

Kelly - posted on 01/23/2011
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My oldest step daughter lives with us. she has become very disrespectful and she dosent appreciate any thing she has. She talks back at us but mostly me and stomps around the house like a 2 year old. When she is told to do something or not do soething she absolutely goes out of her way to do the opposite of whatever we said.... The biggest problem is the lying. Dr Phil had an episode that every thing but the bed and blankets were taken from a kid. That is what we have done at this point. Every single thing she owns is put in storage bins and is currently in my room. she has 7 outfits to wear for 7 days of the week and pajamas and all of her underwear and socks.... She has been given 3 pair of shoes 1 black flats one white sneakers and one snow boots just in case. Is this too radical? It is hurting me to know what she is going through. She has not been allowed to leave the kitchen table now unless told we are all going out together or given permission because we feel she has earned it. This whole thing is exhausting to me and my poor husband. I watch the other 2 children living at this residence go through alot and be pushed to the side because they are good kids one is 8 and one is 11months old. The 11 month old is my biological son. The 8 year old is my little step daughter. Shes a great kid. I forget im even her stop mother most of the time.. My Samantha though... shes purely exhausting. I love her so much and i feel my heart break when we have to disicplin her or tell her ok well now you have back talked all day or been lying all day so we need to start at square one. She needs to learn that she must consistently behaive and consistently be good but is all of this too much? Is dr phil maybe a little over the edge on repercussions? The thing is the repercussions we have tried for 6 years never stick.

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Queen - posted on 01/24/2011

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I think taking all her stuff is a good idea. Its time for her to earn what she has. Good behavior will earn her something back in her room. Everyday she has a good day let her pick one item she wants back. If she has a bad day...take one of the returned items back. Take it one day at a time. I think it will work with time as long as you are consistant.

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Queen - posted on 01/24/2011

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I know it can be very hard to be consistant because we just want our children to be happy even if it means giving in to them. So it becomes a struggle to maintain consistancy but as long as you work hard at it things will work out.

Thank you. I am trying to be consistent its a weakness for me because i have a real way of giving in every time so its not just her that needs work its me too... but together hopefully we will get better lol. Any how i think the taking at back is a good plan.