EACH and EVERYONE For All These Beautiful Gifts and For The Beautiful Kind Words You Sent For My Son Kurts 10th Angelversary In Heaven Page

Find Something To Live For

After the death of a child, I think it's important to find something to live for as we tend to feel so lost, especially in those early days. You know, we talk a lot about time, about how long it's been since we lost our child. I understand why, we changed so very much that day, we started a new life at that moment. One without our child so we measure time by how long it's been since they died.

We also talk about time in the sense of giving us time to heal. In this sense, I think we also have to do something with that time. Time helps to some degree by taking us further from that awful time but you have to find something to live for during that time. I don't mean that we are in danger of taking our lives. Some of us do, unfortunately, and I am sure that almost every one of us has thought about it at least a little bit.

I think for most of us though, we just lose our zest. Maybe we don't take care of ourselves the way we should. I know I had to be much more aware of how I was driving because I was easily lost in my thoughts. So, we have to find something to add meaning to our lives to help us endure. It's not just how long it's been, but what we've done with the time that is important.

And it's hard. At first, you don't want to go to bed because your mind will race as you lie there trying to sleep, taking you places you don't want to go. Then, you sleep…and dream and you pray it's not a nightmare but it will be. Finally you sleep, but then you have to wake up and face another day. What an awful cycle. It makes the days and nights seem unbearably long no matter how much we do or don't sleep. Because you never wake feeling rested, unless you have goals. Something to accomplish.

You have to find something to live for and that isn't easy. Find something or someone that makes you feel good or gives you that drive to keep going. Many of us memorialize our children by helping others. Fundraising for the illness that took our child's life. Taking up a cause in their name. Helping others that travel this lonesome road with us.

Grief is a journey. Don't travel aimlessly. Find something to live for and travel somewhere with purpose. I honor my son by trying to help others with this journey and becoming a kinder person. I love my son and miss him very much. In time, I have discovered that helping others, helps me. For now, that is my purpose, my something to live for.

Mike Willhoite~David's Father

Written on September 15, 2008

Thank You So Very Much Mike For Letting Me Use These Words Here,

Love, Pat~Kevin and Kurt's Mother

"Back In Heaven"

I Accomplished my job and back in Heaven

I arrived sometime shortly after eleven

We're told to bring them home on what day

Or Go Chase the devil and his people away

Depends on how bad was this persons sins

If God Lets the devil and his people win

I can say I'm coming but I can't say why

But that when sent down I will stop by

Your life good or bad never goes unseen

It gets replayed like on a movie screen

We all get to see everything we missed

All things even when we first got kissed

We think no one can see no one will know

But I'm here to tell you that just isn't so

Everything from your past we get to see

Even the day God send Kurt back for me

Do your best your life can't be remade

Here everyone gets to see it being replayed

Love You Mom, From Kevin & Kurt

Rebecca Vassau

JULY 9, 2008

~~~~~~~

Dear Pat,

You honor me by your request. Thank you.

The first thought I had was how to pay tribute or say something meaningful about someone I did not know, then I realized that I knew you fairly well and I just bet that, had I known Kurt, I would have seen a lot of his mother in him. Good Mom's raise good kids most of the time and I wish had known him. I was also thinking how you can tell how greatly someone was loved by how dearly they are missed. The same day as your request, I found this anonymous quote that says it better than I ever could.........

"Grief never ends

But it changes

It's a passage

Not a place to stay.

The sense of loss

Must give way

If we're to value

The life that was lived.

Grief is not a sign of weakness

Nor lack of faith,

It is the price of LOVE."

~Anonymous~

Your love for Kurt has helped so many others through the years and the message above describes how I see you. Take care of you, Mike Willhoite