12/25/04

And again -- A friend in Denmark told me that while he was enjoying it, he didn't understand why the dollar had lost 40% of its value against the Euro and was expected to lose another 30% over the coming decade. Here's another reason we're melting away like the Wicked Witch of the East:

National Public Radio, the last bastion of the so-called liberal media, former ground zero of liberal commentary on the airwaves, and target of wingnut abuse for more than thirty years, has finally caved and gone to the dark side. The 'moral values' voters, and perhaps Michael Powell, have invaded NPR's Mass Ave offices and have censored a Christmas classic - David Sedaris reading from his Santaland Diaries, where Sedaris describes a month he spent as a Christmas elf for Macy's.

When Santaland Diaries was first aired 12 years ago, it was more than a little daring because of its description of a flirtation with Snowball, another male elf. It became one of the most requested tapes from NPR. Six months later, the New York Times had this to say about the Snowball business:

Before the broadcast . . ., which told of a brief and disappointing flirtation with another elf named Snowball, the 'Morning Edition' producers worried about Mr. Sedaris's discussing his homosexuality. 'You very seldom hear a gay man on the radio,' Mr. Glass said. 'I mean one who isn't talking about being a gay man with AIDS or discussing gays in the military. We got a lot of letters that said, 'Thanks for letting David Sedaris on the radio, not as a gay person, but just as he is.' '

Well, what worried the NPR producers in 1992 has them scared shitless in 2004. Snowball was cut from this morning's rebroadcast.

Here's the offending passage:

The overall cutest elf is a fellow from Queens named Snowball. Snowball tends to ham it up with the children, sometime literally tumbling down the path to Santa's house. I tend to frown on that sort of behavior but Snowball is hands down adorable -- you want to put him in your pocket. Yesterday we worked together as Santa Elves and I became excited when he started saying things like, 'I'd follow you to Santa's house any day, Crumpet!'

It made me dizzy, this flirtation.

By mid-afternoon I was running into walls. At the end of our shift we were in the bathroom, changing clothes, when suddenly we were surrounded by three Santas and five other elves -- all of them were guys that Snowball was flirting with.

Snowball just leads elves on, elves and Santas. He is playing a dangerous game.

So, when the next begathon comes around, call up your local NPR and ask them what the fuck they did with Snowball and then tell these craven cowards that you are not giving them another nickel until they bring Snowball back.

So what do we actually need NPR for, then? For Cokie Roberts to tell the world that no one in the mainstream was concerned about the feds stomping on state-approved Medical Marijuana Legalization? For a bunch of info-bureaucrats who thrill at thinking they're radical because rednecks and morons and Mormons denounce them as Liberals wvwn though they spend most of their time licking Bush Tush? There's Big Brother and Pacifica and us. And I know Pacifica. And NPR isn't Pacifica.

And that, Lars, may be the more root cause of the collapse of America.