It’s Tea Time For The L&G in LGBT

Author: Claudia Nicolette

There is a lot we do not talk about in the LGBT community. Intolerance from non queer people seems to be a common thread that ties us together. It is not uncommon for us to exchange stories with each other about our experiences with this but, why do we sip tea silently when we see our fellow members discriminating against each other? Biphobia, the exclusion of trans people, and misogyny from gay males are just a few examples. Don’t put down your teacups now people, I’m just getting started.

In the spirit of chivalry I’ll address the ladies first. LESBIANS LISTEN UP. The “B” in LGBT stands for bisexual, not BOOBS or BISCUITS or whatever the hell else you would rather imagine it stands for. Bisexual women are by definition attracted to women and men, and if you want to dig a little deeper there is a term called “Pansexual” which stands for people who are open minded enough to spread the love to everyone regardless of their gender identity. THIS IS A VALID SEXUALITY. They do not have to pick a side if they do not wish to, but in the event that they do ( because sexuality is a fluid phenomenon) they are allowed to change their label to fit their personal sexual orientation. Yes, some of us have probably had a bad experience with a bisexual woman before, but guess what? YOU CANNOT DEMONIZE A WHOLE GROUP BASED ON THE FACT THAT YOU GOT HURT. (Sorry though) Bisexuals are allowed to lean to one side or remain in the middle. They are not ” less gay” than you because although the lesbian label is stagnant, it is not a COMPETITION. Any woman can cheat on you, hell Shane from the L word is an example, but your anger is not at the sexuality. Your anger is rooted in the fact that you feel insecure in her attraction to another sex or you feel disconnected because you cannot relate to an attraction to men. Bisexual people are ATTRACTED to both sexes, they should not be demonized or denied love because of something they cannot help. Bi erasure is real. And little known fact, bisexual people have an extremely high suicide rate that no one talks about possibly due to not only a lack of support and resources, but the internalized turmoil that can be triggered by biphobia. If it’s not your cup of tea cool, but do not disrespect the bi babes.

The next topic is Trans exclusion. Trans people are literally at the highest statistical danger for not only murder, sexual violence, assault, and hate crimes, but also SUICIDE. The outside world can be a walking minefield for them so why on earth do we think we have the right to exclude them when we are literally supposed to be their safe haven? Trans people are not linear. They do not possess a strict set of rules to abide by when they express their sexuality, gender identity or expression. They are not the monoliths and they are not a stereotype. Get to know them as individuals, and if you have questions ask respectfully. I have seen lesbians reject trans women in our spaces because some of us could not see ourselves dating them, or even misgendering them because we do not feel they are actual women. I have also seen men misgender or dismiss trans men because they could not see themselves dating them or relating to their plight of not identifying with the sex they were assigned at birth. Some Gays and Lesbians feel they have the hierarchy of the LGBT because we are linear rather than fluid. We are attracted to one thing. We are the most represented. That however is not an excuse to dismiss the other letters of LGBTQIAP. Not only is it disgraceful, but a tad hypocritical to be a lesbian or a gay person whose gender expression does not always match their own biological sex looking down on trans individuals. Do fucking better, embrace trans women, men & non binary people because we are family.

What it all boils down to is this. The LGBT community is supposed to be a safe place for everyone. It is not a battlefield. We should not be tearing each other limb from limb because of our own prejudices, biases or ignorance. We need each other. The world has enough hatred in it already, why add more? Communicate, step out of your comfort zone and work on fixing the disconnect rather than tearing someone down.

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Author: Claudia Nicolette

I am a black queer poet and writer from Alabama. Feminism, LGBT issues, and Social justice are the fuel to my inkpen.

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