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Holiday traveling is probably the best part of the season – Wouldn’t you agree? Yeah, I don’t agree either.

This whole not having a car thing can be pretty shitty during the holidays and taking a bus back to New York is even shittier. Although, in my opinion, Greyhound bus lines do a great job here in Boston getting their passengers on express buses and on time! I never panic when I am the 100th person in line because I know there will be another bus following the one at the dock. DON’T PANIC PEOPLE! But all this traveling has made me come up with my favorite types of travelers! Yay!

Here is what I came up with: The Sick, The Phoner, The Socialite, The Quiet One, The Lean Backer, The Two-Seater, The Snorer.

The Sick: Ugh. I hate this one. The people who are coughing, and sneezing and sniffling… You are grossing me out and I just cannot sit next to you, near you, or in ear shot of you. Don’t travel. Just..don’t!

The Phoner: Quite possibly one of the most obnoxious travelers on board. Usually these people are so crazy loud on their phone so the whole bus has to hear their boring, pointless conversation. I also think it’s pretty interesting that these people tend to be older males. When I get a phone call – I ignore it then text the person back saying HEY I’M ON A BUS, DON’T CALL ME! It’s the polite thing to do…

The Socialite: Not to be confused with The Phoner – this person will chat it up with ANYONE on the bus. These are people I avoid – I’ll judge people in the line while we wait and then avoid them at all costs. Headphones do the trick or maybe a Netflix documentary on the deadliest gang in America (MS13, btw)… I don’t want to have 3 hours of small talk with anyone. The fact that small talk exists is bad enough. I also cannot stand listening to people talk; this should be a quiet, relaxing ride… Keep to yourself and everyone will be happy.

The Quiet One: MY FAVORITE! If you couldn’t guess. This is me. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone. Just keep to yourself. Listen to your music and enjoy the ride.. Everyone should be this one! PLEASE BE THIS ONE?!?!

The Lean Backer: I hate you. Don’t lean back and take up my leg room… Ever. Just don’t. You don’t need to. And if you do, at least give a warning first so I can move my knees so you won’t crush them. Also, I am 5’4 and you are crushing my life here… How would you feel if someone leaned back on you? Think of others!

The Two-Seater: This is such my luck. You don’t even have to be that big and you still find a way to have your body pour into my area. And yes – POUR. How about this.. Keep your legs clenched together like I do and no one uses the middle arm rest. Don’t put your feet near mine, or lean your head near mine. I paid for this seat and no you may not take it over.. I lean opposite of where you are sitting – please do the same. Next time I will bite you. SUE ME.

The Snorer: Last but not least – I should be annoyed mostly by you -but I am not. Don’t get me wrong I still hate your guts but at least you were quiet enough to fall asleep and you just happen to snore. You are still loud and still interfere with my quiet time so I dislike you, but I respect you. Wake up once in a while and you and me will be best friends 🙂

There you have it. My list of typical holiday travelers (in no particular order). These can vary – but overall they’re just branches of the ones above. Sometimes I feel if I take a train my life will be a lot happier – but do I want to take over 5 hours to get to some place that will only take me 3? Is it worth it? Three years in and I still haven’t figured it out… Safe travels, blogmites.