Five reasons why the Cheryl Cole video is brilliant

Cheryl Cole has followed through on her promise to deliver the music video to her big comeback single ‘Call My Name’ today, and we’re not ashamed to admit that we’ve already lost count of the times we’ve watched it and tried to recreate the dance routines. Actually, forget we told you that last bit.

Not convinced? We have boiled down the greatness of this clip to a simple five-point plan.

1. Epic philosophical quote

It turns out that the most recent teaser snippet was actually the whole, minute-long introduction to the video, and good gravy it’s dramatic. Chezza struts along a riverbank as the words “The only way to a woman’s heart is along the path of torment” flash up on the screen, courtesy of Marquis de Sade. “Who the bloomin’ Rizzle Kicks is that?!” we hear you cry. Well, he was a famous 18th Century politician, aristocrat and writer; and you can’t argue with anyone with that job discription, can you?

2. Mirrors!

We’ll be honest with you, MP!ers – we didn’t learn a lot about the world of pop from that Enrique Iglesias and Nicole Scherzinger duet, other than the fact that two exciting popstars combined can sometimes be a bit on the boring side. But what we did learn from the video was that mirrors never don’t look cool. We’ve all tried to recreate that Kelly Clarkson ‘Because Of You’ scene in mirrored elevators, right?! Right.

3. Working the sewer

A sewer wouldn’t be our first port of call if we were drawing up plans for the Comeback Video Of The Year, but someone at Chezza HQ obviously deemed it worth a visit and, as ever, the woman makes it look cool. Maybe it isn’t even a sewer, maybe it’s just your bog-standard grotty tunnel, but either way, it’s not what we’d call conventionally glam. Expect tourism at your local foul-smelling underground sewer system to soar over the coming weeks.

4. Homage to ‘Something Kinda Ooooh’

Unfortunately she doesn’t start chanting “I’VE GOT TO HEAT IT UP, DOCTOR GOT TA HEAT IT UP!” when she steps behind the wheel in this vid, but just the sight of Cheryl driving brought back memories of one of the best worst videos in Girls Aloud history. Where’s she driving? The shops? The petrol station? Feed her nan’s cat while she’s in hospital having her hip done? We’ll never know, readers. We’ll never know.

5. Oh the DANCING

OK so she may not be Singer Of The Century, but Cheryl’s never been one to shy away from a bit of choreography, and BOY does she really go for it in ‘Call My Name’. It’s not even like the fast-paced shape-cutting is saved for the last chorus – it’s relentless the whole way through the song. Plus, just like any good pop video routine, it’s supported by some super-cool lights in the background.