Aside from England’s knock out this year, Scotland has only qualified for eight World Cup Finals, Northern Ireland three and Wales one. We’ve got Manchester United and Newcastle United. Bring on Kingdom United.

Weapon of choice

Labour grandee Sir Gerald Kaufman is not happy with his local Asda.

He’s used a Commons motion to accuse the store of “tyrannical employment practices” when it “bullied and bludgeoned a staff member.”