Nutsackett Up (shameless self-promotion)

As any of you who has attempted to have a conversation with me well knows, the reason I write so prolifically is because my ability to speak coherently has all but completely atrophied over the years into a miasma of stuttered sentences, awkward pauses and more “likes” than a Kanye Facebook status. Despite this, people have recently started asking me to talk out loud in front of small crowds

As such, fellow Brokelynite Beth Hoyt has invited me to ruin what is usually a very nice (and free) evening of storytelling at The Sackett bar in Park Slope this coming Wednesday at 8 p.m., where I will be sandwiched between several people who are much better at this than I (see below).

I’m not sure exactly what story to tell yet, but I am sure that I will probably be very drunk during and after. It’s a small bar, so any friendly faces in the crowd would make this whole thing slightly less stressful.

If you’ve never been, The NutSackett, which Beth hosts every few weeks at the bar, is a low-rent version of The Moth featuring different actors, comedians, performers, even a few Moth Grand Slam champions, and, apparently, the occasional terrified journalist.

Also appearing this week:

Megan McQuillan, whose credits with the Production Company include Melbourne by Stephen Belber and Good Bye New York, Good Bye Heart by Lally Katz.

Andy Christie, whose writing has appeared in The New York Times, literary journals and in the new Thomas Beller anthology, Lost And Found: Stories From New York. His true stories have been heard on NPR’s Cityscape and The Moth in mainstage, podcast and NPR’s Radio Hour form.

Rob Gorden, a comedian, storyteller, one half of the award winning comedy duo “The Rob and Mark Show,” who has performed on SpikeTV, Nick at Night and in “Heavyweights” on The Food Network. He’s also appeared in Ed Wood’s “Devil Girls” as cult icon Criswell.

and, uh, me, whose credits include telling you which cheap beer is drinkable and how to comply with the ADA. Yiiiiikes. I’m hesitant to attract attention to this event out of the potential that it will be disaster (on my part, not everyone else’s, by any means), but I feel like the pressure of publicity might scare my psyche into shape. Or lead to a Fiona Apple level in spotlight meltdown. Either way, entertainment is guaranteed!