Farscape

Farscape is a science-fiction TV series (1999 - 2004) about an astronaut who ends up on the other side of the galaxy after crashing into a wormhole during the test flight of his space module Farscape-1. Here he joins a group of escaping prisoners on board a living ship.

Jack Crichton:[before John's launch] Son, I can't help being who I am. Who I was.

John Crichton: It's not who you are, Dad: I love who you are. It's being son of who you are.[nervous chuckle]

John Crichton: Look, I....can't be your kind of hero.

Jack Crichton: No, you can't be. But each man gets a chance to be his own kind of hero. Your time will come, and when it does, watch out. Chances are it'll be the last thing you ever expected.

Press representative:[explaining theory behind Farscape One project] Ladies and gentlemen of the press, at 26:14 on the flight clock, we begin the major experiment of this shuttle mission. Commander John Crichton will pilot a craft of his own design in a dangerous attempt to use our planet's gravity as a speed booster, slingshotting him off into space at previously unrecorded speeds. If successful, the results are anticipated as the first concrete steps toward interstellar travel.

Crichton: Look, I understand what a phenomenal moment this is for you.

Lyneea: Do you? Can you? I mean, to you space-travel is commonplace. But to us, here, I mean in one flash....

Crichton: ....you learn that you're not alone in the universe. That interstellar space travel is possible, that a zillion of your empirical facts about science and religion are wrong, or completely suspect? I do understand.

Crichton: You know, when I was your age, I used to dream about meeting a real, live alien.

Rygel: John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. May you have safe transport to the hallowed realm. Actually, not our hallowed realm. That's for Hynerians. Go find your own hallowed realm. With the Ceremony of Passage completed, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.

Crichton: Since I left home, I’ve been hunted, beaten, locked up, shanghaied, shot at. I’ve had alien creatures in my face, up my nose, inside my brain, down my pants. This is the first time, the first place, where I’ve felt peace.

Crichton: [watches as Rygel is being worshipped as a god] The slug that would be king.

Crichton: I got great eyes, they’re better than 20/20, and they’re blue!"

Crichton: Bingo! Give Brainiac the fluffy doll!

Crichton: Is that it, Sparky? Gonna take the road well-traveled? Gonna play dumb? (Singing.) I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream! Baskin Robbins, Ben and Jerry’s, Good Humor. What’s your favorite -- creamsicle or fudgesicle?

Crichton: Eighty cycles. My college loans will be delinquent. I'll miss the strippers on my hundredth birthday. I'll get a utility bill for three trillion dollars for a single porch light that I left on and everybody I know will be dead.

Crichton: Come out, come out wherever you are and see the young man that fell from the star.

Crais: FREEZE! You're under arrest! You have the right to the remains of a silent attorney! If you cannot afford one... tough noogies! You can make ONE phone call! I recommend Trixie: 976-Triple 5-LOVE. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?! Well do ya, PUNK?

Crichton: No...

Crais: Well... then I can't arrest you!

Crais: I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque or credit card?

Rygel: Repent? We have less than an arn. I was a Dominar. It'd take me longer than that to repent.

D'Argo: Yeah we need you D'Argo, we need you. Oh, and by the way would you mind putting your hands up against the wall and spreading your legs so I can kick you up the mivonks. You have got to be one dumb trasnik.

Zhaan: You are a very ungrateful and selfish woman. Please remain silent from now on.

Zhaan: Now I know I shall meet my goddess and be accepted to her bosom. Sensitive D'Argo, exuberant Chiana, wise Rygel, selfless Aeryn, innocent Crichton. My children, my teachers, my loves, there is no guilt, there is no blame, only what is meant to be. Grow through your mistakes and know that if patient redemption will find you.

Harvey: Why is it always the gentle ones who pay the price for everyone else's ambition? Hmm?

D'Argo: I am a full-blooded Luxan, and ladies, I have so much cash in my pocket that I can assure you that the three of us will crawl out of here on our hands and knees come sunrise tomorrow morning. I've been arrested for saying exactly the same thing on four different planets.

D'Argo: Girls, breasts, blue breasts, green breasts, I don't know. All I know is they spiked our drinks and took our money.

Scorpius/Harvey: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our final respects, and to say farewell to our dear friend, Commander John Crichton... A schmuck. Muleheaded, reckless, and probably braindead before I met him. Alas, his death... is mine also.

[Inside Crichton's mind]

Crichton: Even Kirk wouldn't stoop that low.

Scorpius/Harvey: That was a television show, John. And, he made Priceline commercials.

Xhalax Sun: I've heard... loved ones leave you in pieces... that little by little you start to forget things about them, but that's not true. You lose them...everything, instantly, and suddenly nothing can replace them. Nothing.

Crichton: (To Sikozu): So you Jacques Cousteau your way up stream to where they die

Crichton: (To the Grudeks): NOH! PAV'HOR! HERRUCH'T! (To Sikozu): You didn't get that one did you...'cause it's Klingon! A show of force is the only thing that Klingons understand.

Crichton: We're going to be really, really quiet so the Pirates of the Caribbean don't hear us, okay?

Sikozu: If you are sober or sane enough to understand, I suggest you aim that behind you. The creatures following me execute on sight.

(John takes a sip of alcohol)

Sikozu: Now, what are you going to do for me?

John (explaining his situation to Sikozu): Okay! Once upon a time I was happy here. A little on the lonely side - but that's okay 'cos at least Wynona only had to start cooking fires - you know - fire? Whoosh! Fire. Module's outta fuel so it's not goin' anywhere. So, I'm workin' like a mofo. And everything is fiiiiinally comin' together on these crates here - 'til you - SMASHED THROUGH - PISSING ME OFF - just - a little bit. So the only thing that I still had goin' for me - you just destroyed, lady! YEAH!

Sikozu: They know we’re here.

John: Oh, nothing gets by you, does it?

(After the Grudeks fire at them.)

Sikozu (Whispering): Make them think you are dead!

John: Okay, Sputnik. (Walks out to the catwalk and fires back). YOU MISSED!!

John (flaunting his rear end to the hound): You want some o' this? Yeah! Grade-A prime American beef!

John: (about the baby) Maybe it's not mine at all.

Dream Aeryn: You just won't let that rest, will you?

John: Nah, maybe it's got a little pony tail and a teeny tiny goatee.

Dream Aeryn: Maybe.

John: Maybe there's half a metal face on it.

Dream Aeryn: Maybe.

John: Maybe it's a royal pain in the ass, eats all the time and farts a lot.

Sikozu: As stupid as you must think them, the Scarrans have managed to build one of the most extensive empires in the Galaxy in part - and I shall repeat this because it does not seem to sink in - by not advertising the location of their secret bases.

Aeryn: There was one guard. I don't remember her face. She never told me her name. She told me a legend about how Sebaceans once had a god called... Djancaz-bru. Six worlds prayed to her. They built her temples, conquered planets and yet, one day she still rose up and destroyed all six worlds. And when the last warrior was dying, he... he said: 'We gave you everything. Why did you destroy us?' And, she looked down upon him, and she whispered... 'Because I can.'

Crichton: What do I want? What do I want? I have not been chasing my ass all over the galaxy trying to pull out chunks of my brain. I have not been sneaking fembots and Screeths into the place where I live. You want something. You. You want what's inside my head. You want what I know about wormholes. Because I can leap tall galaxies in a single bound. I can scorch planets with a wave of my hand. And you and you and you can't do jack.

Crichton: Hi... Honey. Huh. Guess what I did at work today? I wore a bomb. A nuclear bomb in a field of flowers. I could get lucky. Tomorrow I could have a bigger bomb. I could kill... more people. Maybe they'll be innocent people. Children... maybe.