Friday, February 26, 2010

You know its an Olympic year when you find yourself watching women's hockey, or hockey, at all... but watching a women's team sport on TV? It has to be an Olympic year.

I liked the hockey women though. I know shite about hockey but the women looked very hockey-y and really played well and didn't fall down. I leaned that in Olympic hockey there is no fighting, even the men are forbidden from beating each other up! I wonder if it messes with their hockey playing rhythm if they can't beat each other up indiscriminately? Do they get more tired then normal from not getting to rest in the penalty box? And if they can't fight in Olympic hockey why can they fight in regulation hockey? I heard something on NPR about fighting and hockey but it just said Yep. Hockey players beat each other up and the fans like it. Go Fans! Is it like the crowd wanting wreaks in NASCAR? There was no answer.

In real life, is there professional women's hockey? They seem to be running a lot of ads featuring little girls playing hockey so it must be something that girls do, but do they do it when they stop being girls? Is it what they do instead of soccer in cold weather states? Do high schools in North Dakota have girls hockey teams? The US Team got silver. The Canadians owned the game from the very start and the really played to win. They wanted it and they got it.

I'm sitting here watching TV, duh. Why are we watching features on lumbering instead of the women's figure skating free skate? I mean who cares! Why are we not watching the Olympics? Do you know what I care about every four years?Free Style Skiing Do you know what I never care about? "Where Maple Syrup Comes From". If they want to run these human interest pieces aren't there more appropriate times to run them? like perhaps during the third heat of the hotly non-contested Bulgaria vs. Thailand curling match? I mean like NOT DURING WOMENS FIGURE SKATING?

We need to watch hour and and hours of preliminary heats of curling and Nordic combined? Really? Those must be shown uncut and interrupted? But figure skating can be shown chopped and diced? We watched the whole damn women's hockey game we can't watch more then ten consecutive minutes of women's figure skating? I saw something online today that said most of the audience for these games are white women. Do you know what white women want to watch? As a white woman, I can assure you its not FEATURES ON THE CANDIAN LOGGING INDUSTRY! I want my figure skating!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Busy. Busy.

Hey! How are you!? I didn't get a couple of phone calls and stayed on the phone for too long and I certainly didn't also spend too much time watching TV with the baby cat...

Nooooo, not me. No way. I would never do that. I also haven't had a long week already and then I came home and found a coupon for a cheap pizza and then fell face first into said pizza and a donut and a couple of hours of Law and Order.

Not me. Uh uh. No way. And then there are those pesky Olympics... I don't really care for Nordic Combined though, really dull. I want to see more ladies skating. I think as a lady myself I am well positioned to have a special insight into their performances. And I judge them. Cruelly, some may say but...I score them on how frequently we are forced to study their crotches. The ice dancers as a whole scored very low on this and they lost even more points if their partners face was in their crotch, they lost huge points if the partner whose face was in their crotch was also their brother. Ew.

Women's downhill is depressing . I want to see more half pipe. We rawk at half pipe.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Playing What If...

I don't know if you read my addendums to yesterday's post but short story long, the agencies and offices I contacted about my little friends either didn't get back to me, or expressed to me that it wasn't their job. APS has a very narrow definition of what "adults in need of protection" are and that definition does not include reference to homeless people camped out in a shack. Crying . I thought APS was supposed to go in and help adults in need of protection! I was naive.

CPS didn't even get back to me and the police gave me shit for not calling them last night. The new guy in code enforcement asked me how I even got his number and I told him I have his office on speed dial and he might as well get used to hearing from me. I am the unmasked avenger! I am Property Values Girl! Defender of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Gentrification! I am the enemy of abandoned properties, attractive nuisances and vandalism targets. I am Helicopter Neighbor! I believe in Attachment Citizen-ing

Sigh. I didn't want to call the police.

We just got this whole in-service - They in-serviced the entire city on when to and when not to call 911 and I took from the televised power point presentation, news stories and robo calls that if I was not directly witnessing a felony, found a body or in the process of bleeding to death, that I do not need to be bothering 911. Thanks to the in-service I have a very narrow definition of "emergency" and this did not meet the criteria. I don't think trespassing is a felony, I didn't trip over a body or slip in any blood mine or otherwise so I didn't call. Don't tell me not to call 911 and then ask why didn't I call 911? When I called the non-emergency number with my non-emergency they transferred me to 911 and then 911 hectored me for not calling 911 last night.

Don't call us about crap but do call us about crap. Whatever. Next time I'll mind my own business because there is no right answer.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Garden Update 2010 2

I got a new Burpee catalog. I now want many more varieties of plants than I did before I got my new Burpee catalog.

For instance, I want flowers. Lots and lots of flowers. Lots of flowers. I'm not really a flower person, really, I mean I can keep them alive but its not like I can bring them inside or anything, thank you Kitty! and you can't stuff them with ground round and make a dinner of it- not the flowers I want anyway. But. They're so pretty! so, so pretty.

There is a dahlia called Showtime that I need. I mean that, I need that plant. And I could have it if I wanted to spend $5.58 per plant.

I might be able to do these. I love the colors and I don't think I've seen them at the Wallyworld nursery and if I have, I haven't seen them for $5.58 a plant. I'm also thinking that I would love

To have Chomley Farran, a Dianthus, it runs $7 something a plant and that might be more than I am willing to go and it isn't avalible in seeds. I saw this in last years catalogue and lusted after it then too. It isn't really important to me that my various flowers match so I would have no problems with the Chomley and the Showtime being together or at least close to each other. I can't forget the seeds I all ready have, one very baby pink and the other more primary colors.

Looking through the wish book I saw another variety that I need

It's called an Origami Red and White and its a Columbine. Sigh, isn't it pretty? Wouldn't it look nice in front of my house? and? it comes in seeds! I didn't even like seeds! Seeds are scary and labor intensive and they do not offer the instant gratification that I crave.

But yeah. I need to pull back I can't have everything and most importantly, I don't have room for everything and I probably don't even live in the right climate for everything I want either. NC is better for random flowers than Texas was. I need to chill out though, step away from the catalogue and try to stay in the here.

Speaking of the here. I was walking past the shack this evening with Dogger. I go past it at least twice a day so I keep a good eye on it. Today I didn't see anything out of the ordinary but I did hear something. There are people there, one might be a small people. I got some counseling from Alphagal as to my options and we decided againts me calling 911 right-here-right-now, I mean, shelter is shelter and I'm not going to pitch anyone into the cold but, the place is less structurally sound than your average kid built backyard fort and it has no power no water and the place is a tinder box. In the morning I'm calling City Code Enforcment, and the County DSS APS/CPS ( Department of Social Services/Adult Protective Services/ Child Protective Services). Hopefully I'll get some of that instant gratification I crave.

According to APS, the answer should have been "call the police". CPS has yet to get back to me, the county code enforcement says they'll check it out.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Getting my hands dirty

Welcome to the first decent weekend we've had since last October! and what do we do on decent weekends?

We work in our gardens! Introducing Garden 2010 Update 1!!

I turned the garden! Since last fall when I put the garden to bed, its been covered with the dirt from the flower pots in the front and some store bought dirt and about 36 inches of leaf cover. Well, nap time is over! and its time to get back to work.

After I turned the garden, I added some low-grade fertilizer and turned it over again. I was a little disappointed that the leaves had not rotted more (as per everything I had read online and in my gardening books!) I had expected by this time that they leaves would have obediently turned into really nice mulch. Not so much. The dirt under the leaves did look nice and dark though and it was very loose and easy to work with. I'm thinking its going to need another turning probably the middle of March and then some more prep work in April before my plants arrive.

You will notice the brocs are still chugging along.

I have been terribly negligent of them. I look at them trough the window periodically and wonder how they are doing out there. I took a look at them and they look all right-ish, I don't think they are terribly happy. I should have covered them when it snowed.

Those little broc flowers are cute but I think that's what's they call "buttoning" and it means they are stressing. I'm going to hope that it doesn't count for my plants. The other two remaining plants also have tiny buttons formed. I don't think I'm going to be planting more brocs in the spring. It so much easier to just buy the damned things.

While I was in a garden frame of mind I bought a DIY seed starter kit. Alphagal got some very good results from them last year so I decided to jump on the bandwagon and get a tray for myself, after I got back from the store, I looked at my seeds I am going to get at least one more tray maybe two... , I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have to go a different route with my bean plants though because I think the seeds are just too big for the teeny start-ups that the kit comes with. I saw another product while I was at the store that I think will be better suited and it was cheaper. The flowers and the luffas, however are going to love the starter kits though.

With the starter kits I'll be able to get more seeds germinated then when I just planted them raw in the ground and hoped for the best. I might even get more seeds... But, more seeds equal more plants and I can't just run out and get more room. I'm going to have think creatively about alternate garden space and my fist thoughts are about container gardening. I do have some sunny spaces that might work with containers, but its a question of getting them watered and keeping them watered and that is going to be the real issue I am going to have to figure out. And soon.

Last year, I had the frankenhose and I loved it but I last year I also limited my veggie gardening to the garden and thanks to frankenhose, I was able to go on vacation and everything was fine. and I'm afraid that if I expand too much I'm not going to be able to properly take care of any of it.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I just need to reiterate how very tired I am of winter. I have had to wear a hood! Like some kind of five year old! And the coat that broke had a very good hood while my sub coat as a sucky hood and I am now sad, even worse I now know a "good hood" from a "bad hood" and have preferences! Any hood at my age. Its shameful. Speaking of hoods, why do the half pipe-ers have to wear hoodies as part of their uniforms? Really? hoodies? Must we just show the entire world our bad fashion dirty laundry?

Whatever. I'm too cold to really care about other peoples clothing choices. I'm wearing ski pants. The Chinese are proving that half pipe is not just for stoners anymore. It turns out its about skiing skills not how effectively you and your stoner pals slack on the slopes. Shocking.

I like the men's half pipe much more than the women's. The men get real speed power while the women I keep worrying they are going to fall down because they aren't moving fast enough to work up the forward motion they need to do the tricks that the men do. They are just too light to perform the really bitchin tricks that the men pull off - Maybe what we need is a half pipe field for us? The walls less tall and more of a hill going down to help them work up more speed? Maybe the skier should be heavier? bigger? something. Half pipe is not the sport for the cute and little. Snow Bunnies need not apply.

Snow bunnies need to head for the hills. Lighter weight men do very well on the ski jump. Ski Jumpers are the 86 pound 13 year old gymnasts of the skiing world. Those other lighter weight people, women aren't allowed to ski jump. I read a story in Time Magazine. Com and the IOCs reasoning for this is that our fallopian tubes might fall out or something. True story, they worry about our "woman parts". What bull shit. We ski moguls and our wombs stay put, I think our vagina's could handle a little atmosphere. I know, we will agree to not wear skirts and we'll wear pants with iron crotches. Keep all those girl parts up where they belong.

They aren't playing the music as loud as they did last time around for the half pipe. The last Olympics, the last time I cared about half pipe, I remember the music being really, really loud. This year there is no music and a lot of chat from the announcers. I'm not sure I didn't like the music better

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Diana- zip, Zipper 1

Note to self, you get what you pay for when you pay $25 for a winter coat from Tuesday Morning .I think they should have to disclose why this product went spare. Damn it. Second note to self, would I have bought this same coat from Poverty Barn without looking at it more critically? A discounter is a discounter is a discounter. Buyer Beware

I am so tired of winter. I'm tied of it being dark all the time, I'm tired of the cold all the time and I'm tired of the way the sunshine lies.

I've been coming home from work and walking and feed the dog and myself and then I sit down for just a minute to watch some Law and Order and the next thing I know its after eight. I think someone is putting something in my Law and Order.

Or it might be that its just after all these months of winter, it's just getting more and more exhaustingjust trying to stay warm. Its cold at home its cold at work and if I go out for lunch its inevitably cold there too! I understand the theory of keeping it cool so that I don't spend the entire day there mooching up their heat and hogging a table and I get it, fine let me sign something promising to be in and out in twenty minutes! They can have a special section, as long as it is away from the door! they can rope it off with space heaters and timers! I would deal with it if they would guarantee that I would be able to take my coat off and not have to eat with my gloves on. I'm really tired of being cold and being slapped around by drafts and having to pay for the privilege.

By the end of the day the effort to be warm is just so taxing that I have to nap and nap hard. I love my mute button, its turning into my on/off switch. As long as I can hear Lenny reading perps their rights I'm good. The minute I mute Abby Carmichael being a a self righteous bitch, I'm out like a light.

I have a nice nap and I'm warm, really warm for the first time since I got out of bed in the morning but Dogger is sad and unwalked and so I walk her and I'm cold again.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Victory over the forces of evil!

Okay, victory over the forces of evil malfunctioning winter coat zippers, but still a victory over evil.

It was just evil. The coat and its zipper were fine, everything was working well and there was this really nice spirit of co-operation going on. I was thinking of buying it something nice. It was kind of sweet when I look back on it. Anyway, I had to go to the store because today was Girl Scout Cookie day and my single box of cookies came with it and I had no cash money and I want my cookies. I went to the store because to to buy vegetables ( to make up for the cookies), because I'm good that way and I had to get cash to get my cookies out of hock.

Okay. So when we went to the store not an hour earlier, the zipper worked and then when Dogger demanded her evening walk, out of nowhere the zipper wouldn't work! It would latch and when it did finally latch, the zipper kept coming apart and getting all snagged and ugly. I felt really betrayed because I thought that if it was unhappy that it would have said something before it lashed out like that! I thought I was open with it, I thought we agreed to talk about problems before they blew up into tantrums like this.

Fortunately, I have another winter coat that still likes me and I was able to take it for the walk with Dogger. I left my other coat at home to stew and to see how it liked being a cat bed. I believe in trying out options and leaving yourself open to new things and for Coat, if the whole being-a-coat thing doesn't work out, it can feel free to explore its other possibilities and its future as a potential cat bed

I came home and decided that I wasn't ready to surrender my coat to the cat without a fight. I've lost coats to evil zippers before and I wanted to do what I could to help keep the situation from snow-balling. I don't like getting into stare downs with coat zippers and once they bring you to tears the balance of power is totally blown and the zipper holds all the cards and then the zipper goes on a power trip and the next thing you know the house is decorated in early leather fetish and you're stuck listening to German house music. Zippers have terrible taste in music and home decor. But what can you do, the balance of power has been disturbed and the closet lights have all ready been replaced with glow sticks.

So. I went to the basement and I came back armed. Once upon a time I had to buy a six-and-a-half-inch adjustable crescent wrench for a class but I never used it except to cause damage to the college laundry facilities. Do you know what my eighteen year old six-and-a-half-inch adjustable crescent wrench is actually good for? Reconstructive surgery and attitude adjustment on a zipper. I did do better in costuming than I ever did in stagecraft.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

In honor of Doggers victorious vet appointment and her superior results, a lovely ratio for her Addison's ( very exciting news as her knee has been such a problem for her and has created stress for her body and mind for the last year I was afraid that her Addison's would be negatively affected by it. Addisonian dogs are supposed to be kept as stress-free as possible and for Dogger it has not been possible to assure that. It has also been contraindicated to dose her on pred when the stress does get too much because pred does not aid in healing and all Dogger has done since last March was heal, heal, heal.) and no heart worms, I present

Monday, February 15, 2010

Fun and The Games

Well, I did get my list done. The dog bathing, the laundry doing, etc. and I did it all on Friday Night while the rest of you were out "doing stuff" and "having fun" and "living life to the fullest" - I was taking a bath with my dog.

I didn't want to take a bath with her and in reality, I don't think anyone really wants to bath with their pets, its kind of icky and it smacks of "attachment pet-owning" but it makes it easier to do both sides of her - and I wasn't technically bathing myself while I was bathing her, so it wasn't technically attachment pet-owning plus I was wearing rain boots so I could get into the tub with her and I did get my hair wet. And it snowed. I did all of this in the snow! Okay, I did all of this inside, while it was snowing outside, but I definitely think it raises the level of difficulty. I had to be really thorough when I was drying her off. I had to use three towels and a blow dryer! If it was warmer, I would have just used two towels and I wouldn't have used the hair dryer at all.

I still went out to dinner with Broskey and Tiny E though, so I wasn't completely selfless. In the snow though. We had to like eat while it was snowing. That makes it harder. So its not just like regular eating, it was eating during a winter weather advisory so it was scary and we had to wear reflective clothing and carry extra blankets. Safety first.

And there was the Opening Ceremonies! I watched all of that. All. Of. That. I did not know that tap dancing and beat poetry played such big parts of Canadian History. Stomp must have broken all kinds of records there. Lots of tap dancing. Lots and Lots. I think about half of the First Nation dancers had taps on their moccasins. I mean for real. And soul patches. Lots of soul patches.

And no Bill and Doug McKenzie! No beer! What the hell?! No Red Green! The McKenzie's could have rocked some spoken word performance! Come on! They didn't have any group Eh's or choirs saying Aboot. And hardly any hockey players! They could have featured tap dancing hockey players! But No. No lumber jacks, no Hollywood productions trying to pretend they are in LA! Come on! its in Vancouver but no mention of X-Files? I thought for sure that David Duchovny would have some role somewhere. Mulder and Scully made Vancouver!

Speaking of The Games, did you see the US Women beat China 12-1 at hockey! 12-1! I didn't know hockey scored that high. I mean, cheers to the Chinese women for sticking around after goal 7,8 and 9 because it had to be rough, what with the second and third string scoring on them and then the figure skaters out there scoring on them and everything.

I want a medal ap for my phone. Oh, and Dogger got all clean and pretty so I could take her to her vet for her twice yearly electrolyte test/annual physical on Saturday so think positive thoughts for us about her health in general and her Addison's in particular.

Dogger has her twice yearly electrolyte test Saturday ayem and I want her to be clean for it. She hardly sees the folks from that office anymore ( Thank you Jesus!) and I don't want them to think she's a dirty dog or since I'm not in there every three days (Thank you Jesus!) that I'm a negligent dog person all of a sudden. She has a lot of friends there and they all want to pet on her and I don't want them to walk away with dirty dawg on their hands. It's embarrassing as a dog owner.

They would probably really like Baby Cat too but I don't want to start with them. I'm just going to take him to the SPCA for his rabies shots for as long as I can. He's healthy (knock wood, Thank You Jesus!) and I don't think he needs to see a real vet until there's a good reason- and then we won't go there, I love them and they have been really good to Dogger through all her illness' but they charge too much. Thanks to Dogger and The Kitty and the nature of chronic illness, I made way too many of their mortgage payments over the years.

She wouldn't be as gross and it wouldn't have gone on as long as it has but I'm not comfortable making her jump into the bath tub with her bad knees and she isn't happy about having to stand the whole time she's in the bath tub once there. In the summer its easier, I can bath her in the yard and I don't feel like I'm asking her to stress herself more than necessary because she's offending my aesthetics.

You know what would be really cool? I wonder if I could train baby kitty into licking her into cleanliness. Baby Cat loves to lick, lick, lick and he might learn to enjoy lick, lick, licking Dogger? Maybe if I mix a little tuna juice into Doggers conditioner? Maybe if I dress her as a giant nose! Then of course, Dogger would have to co-operate with this plan and she might not want to dress as a giant nose... It wouldn't be a fast or tidy process and I could see that she and Baby Cat might not totally embrace the plan. It might be a very long process. And Dogger might end up eating the cat.

The bath and laundry and bedding change is going to have to be Friday Night. I party so hardy. I am totally the Lindsey Lohan of the over 40 set. I should chill. Saturday, I'll take it easy, I'll just do my laundry. I hate the winter but its so nice to not have to also mow the yard. I do not love mowing the yard.

Oh! I'm very proud of me. I went through last weekends' coupons and found two I could actually use and then pulled another one out of my ass and then I went to the nice Kroger and bought only what I needed! Yay! I kept to my list and I didn't go off mission at all. And I could have to, the place was full of candy I really wanted. Do you have any idea how much better cheap chocolate is when it comes in a heart shaped box? Thank gawd for the after holiday sales.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Meow

I was being very good. I ran my errands over lunch so that I could go home after work promptly. I made it out of the weekly staff meeting, again promptly as to get home quickly and was rewarded by a huge gust of wind at my back so that I actually arrived home before I left. All and all very good.

I came home and there were no bills, I wrapped a shower gift, and fed Dogger. Dogger did not get a walk, which is not good but Dogger hates the wind and the fact that she 1) agreed to go out at all and B) stayed out in it long enough to pee shows just how far she is willing to go for a treat. I have raised her well. After I fed Dogger and myself, I handed off the shower gift, saving myself a trip to the post office and ensuring the gift would arrive on time despite my own personal slackness. Very good!

And then I sat on my chair under a blanket and watched TV. This is also good. My plan was to watch a bits of Law and Order and House Hunters Domestic and International and then go to the grocery and pick up some food for myself and feral kitty. Good because I have a coupon for some sausage and I was planning on going to the Nice Kroger, as a reward for going to Poverty Barn at lunch and only buying what I went in there for. Good!

And then right in the middle of Law and Order, the cat jumped on my lap.Very, Very Good! or bad, depending on your views on efficiency and Getting Jobs Done. Have you ever been happily ensconced under a nice blanket watching your TV and then had your cat jump on your lap? All of a sudden you go from making plans for your future to making sure you don't move more than you have to. Having your cat jump on your lap and curl up is one of life's happy moments. It make up for the four ayem wake up mews, the unself cleaning cat boxes and the wet gifts that await under your bare feet in the morning.

I wasn't going to the grocery.

An hour later, I finally did get up and Dogger and I wandered around the back yard while she took care of business and I surveyed for wind damage. Dogger was successful I was not. Despite what the radio weather person told me : We all gon' die and All the trees are gon' fall down" these things did not occur and my backyard is no more littered than it usually is. Good.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I took Dogger back to the surgeon today and he was very happy with her progress! Yay! I also lied to his face. He asked if I was doing her range of motion exercises on her leg and I nodded emphatically and said Yes I am! I am doing nothing of the sort. I tried to but Dogger doesn't seem to really like them and I'm not sure I'm doing them right and so I don't do them. Often.

I've done them three times. It seems to be working.

I do walk her three times a day and I think that kind of ROM exercise is what is building her muscles back and helping to fight off the wasting. Besides every time I try to do the ROM stuff, she looks at me in this weird way and it makes me uncomfortable. Its like I'm not supposed to be touching her leg that way, she looks at me and says Bad Touch! Bad Touch!. She makes me feel like a molester. She's okay with the vet doing it but it makes her a little worried when I do it. She knows I'm going do something wrong and she wants me to stick with what I do know and not try to go all lay veterinarian on her.

So we go for another walk. In the cold.

I've had a very Doggercentric couple of days. On Monday I made her a batch of pink heart shaped cookies. They are adorable. I almost missed my chance for pink though. I made these beef bullion flavored cookies and you have to add the bullion to water - the ideal time to add the coloring, but the water is magically transformed in to beef broth and then food coloring might not work very well - This is what I'm telling myself at least. I had to add the coloring later in the process and I worried I was going to end up with some uncute marbling effect or even worse beige hearts, but thankfully, I caught it in time and since I no longer have to stir the mess myself, I let the mixer do its work until the color got thoroughly integrated in the dough and my dream of cute cookies was saved.

Actually, the cookies are bouillon, milk and garlic flavored cookies. But cute, very, very cute. And pink!

In March I'm going to make cute green shamrocks and at Easter I'm going for bunnies. Maybe cheese flavored. What do we eat at Easter? Ham? Lamb? Do they make lamb broth in powered form?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Cops and Robbers?

I want to know where the secret police substation is. Since Sunday when I was leaving for the game, I've seen no less than seven police cruisers cruising through my neighborhood.

This is not downtown Beirut or even Martin Street. There should not be this many cops floating around. A little police presence is okay, its great even, but too many of them make me nervous. Are they looking for someone? Is there a crime wave going on that no one is talking about? Is there something bad happening that I don't know about? I spend a lot time wandering around in the dark and if there is a boogie man out there in it, I would like to know. I need to know if I need to take the safety off Dogger. I have to go through my owners manual and make sure I know how to work the latch on her jaws.

Right now, I have it set to gnaw cardboard but it can be set to shatter femurs. I just need to go online and get the new codes. She doesn't have jaws like normal dog, what she has through the miracle of uncontrolled cross breeding is what amounts to a bear trap. One of the illegal ones. She could eat a car - an old -school, Detroit made, 100% steel land-yacht. Easy.

She not really interested in engine blocks though. She's more into severe soft tissue damage and displays of dominance. Thanks to the jaw locks I have on her, she indulges in her her forbidden desires by ravaging her toys. Instead of sucking out bone marrow she keeps herself in shape by removing the stuffing of her soft toys through their eye sockets - after she tears out their jugulars.

I haven't seen anything on our walks that looks like it would warrant all the cops though. I'm out three times a day and walk over a varied route and nothing looks out of the normal. I would notice too, I'm out all the time, there hasn't been any new house fires, no ore than the usual, pre-existing troubling gang realted vandalism, no bodies laying around. Nothing that looks off or raises red flags and my flags are almost always at half mast. I read the paper every day and there hasn't been any stories of anything going on either.

Its curious. I almost asked one of the cops I saw on our evening walk but I chickened out. I went out on our walk because I heard a siren sputter out and I saw lights at the end of the street and I wanted to rubber neck. It looked as though someone had some issue at one the Pirates at the end of the street, the place was closed and if it was a robbery there would have been more cars and they wouldn't have dispersed so fast. I think it was a slip-and-fall or maybe a drunk fell out or something. Flags remain at presets.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Finally. I mean really, its been a long week - I mean for some of us. Those of us who had to work all week. some of us stayed home for a few days and enjoyed a long weekend and a very short week. Pussies.

I have to admit, with everyone at home sipping coco in front of their fireplaces and watching the kids sled in yard . Without them it was quite, I like quite. Quite is good. A quite office is a happy office. When everyone is at work its loud. I hate loud. Loud is bad. Loud makes me sad. I want a door so very badly.

Doors cost more than a toner cartridge and I have to perform sexual favors to get toner cartriges, I can't or do not want to think about on whom I would have to perform what in order to get a door. It would most likely include advanced ticket sales and group rates. I will deal with the noise and my co-workers.

They are threatening us with snow again but I believe that this time it is hollow threats and they don't really mean it. I think they just want us to think its going to snow, its to mess with the school kids. They are easy to mess with since they don't go to school anymore and they have lost any critical thinking skills they may have developed. I think what it really is going to do is rain.I know its going to rain because I have family in for Baby Nephews' birthday, he has just turned one and the whole family is in town to attend his party and it can't be nice for that. Too easy. Its going to rain, rain, rain. Sucky yes, but I can spend a lot of time at Target if its raining. Go rain.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Satisfaction

I spent last week getting to know my friendly neighborhood code enforcement officer. Talking with him I learned that the city can't do a damn thing about an abandoned structure. Not really a damn thing until it burns down - If it burns though, bang they are on it and they can take it down at will. Not a damn thing they can do with either of the houses that I have issues with. Damn it.

Problem #2 house at the end of the street is a shack. This isn't the most high-end area in Raleigh but we don't live in shacks and that one needs to be taken down before it falls down. If the city can't/won't deal with it the next big storm is going to do the job for them and that could be messy and dangerous.

The city can't do anything about it because the lady who owned it, died and did so intestate. The structure, now owned by no fewer than fourteen out-of-town kin and they aren't in a hurry to deal with the shack, but good news! according to my friend with the city an executor has been listed so maybe they can move on it soon. The guy with the city said he had driven by and it looked like someone was working on it. I told him it was being taken down piece by piece and it wasn't because someone was "working on it". Its being parted out like a stolen Buick.

On the upside, once the city and the power company cut the cables to the house, the transients moved out! It had power and water for months, WHY!? That shit should have been cut off when the DEAD woman didn't pay her bills. GAWD. In my mind, once transients have moved in, its okay to take it down with prejudice. If the absentee family members let it get to that point they have no concern for the property and it should revert to the city. The city should at that point auction it or tear it down. The owners could be given whatever the market value of the structure at the time of disposal. Or a gift card.

Anyway. I spoke with the city about Gangsta's Paradise and they said it has an owner and they have spoken with him and yada, yada, yada nothing-they-can-do. I said "Property Values! Vandalism! Trespassing! B&E!" I get nowhere.

That was last week. This week I spoke with the owner. I saw cars there and went in for the kill. We talked, actually, I talked and he listened. I spoke eloquently and at length about what abandoned structures do to a neighborhood and how much they piss me off. I listed my gripes and he apologized. I told him his burglars woke me up every time they broke into his house. He apologized. I told him I called the cops. He apologized. I told him I called the city and tattled on him.He apologized. He said they called him. He says he wants to work on the house,he values they house, he says wants to live there. I don't really care. I mean at this point I really don't. I care about my property values and crime, I could care less about his hobbies.

He gave me his name and numbers and his worker boarded up the smashed window. I cared a lot.

"An Education" - Very serious, no doubt very high quality. A Master Piece Theatre movie. Too British. No one has seen this movie. Will never come to Raleigh.

"A Serious Man" - Very Serious, no doubt high quality. Another MPT movie. Too British, No one has seen this movie. Will never come to Raleigh.

Best Actor
George Clooney, "Up in the Air" - Sigh. I lurve him.
Jeff Bridges, "Crazy Heart" - I heard this described as The Wrestler with guitars.
Colin Firth, "A Single Man" - They invented BAFTAs for this reason.
Morgan Freeman, "Invictus" - Freeman leads another troubled white kid to glory. Isn't Freeman tired of this part? Biofic notwithstanding, really? Nelson Mandela as troubled white kid rehabilitator?
Jeremy Renner, "The Hurt Locker" - He acted in a video game.

Best Actress
Meryl Streep, "Julie & Julia" - I saw this one. She wins by default.
Sandra Bullock, "The Blind Side" - Lifetime Movie/White Woman's Burden.
Gabourey Sidibe, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" - Yeah. No.
Helen Mirren, "The Last Station" - BAFTA
Carey Mulligan, "An Education" - No one has seen this movie and it will never come to Raleigh.

Supporting actress
Vera Farmiga, "Up in the Air" - Cloony has a lot of friends in the Academy.
Mo'Nique, "Precious" - You have a last name, you aren't playing on UPN anymore.
Anna Kendrick, "Up in the Air" - Cloony has a lot of friends in the Academy
Penelope Cruz, "Nine" -"And I'll be waiting here with my legs open!"
Maggie Gyllenhaal, "Crazy Heart" - The hipster next door, an unmade bed, Whatever.

Director
Quentin Tarantino, "Inglourious Basterds" - I hate him?
Kathryn Bigelow, "The Hurt Locker" - Go my sister! Make a movie that is not a video game!
James Cameron, "Avatar" - I hate him?
Lee Daniels, "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire" - I don't care.
Jason Reitman, "Up in the Air" - I'd like it if he won.

Animated feature - I saw Up, but I would like to see FMF. Up going to win."Up""Coraline""Fantastic Mr. Fox""The Princess and the Frog""The Secret of Kells"

Best documentary feature - I vote for the Pentagon Papers, because I like history but if any of them are Holocaust pictures, its game over."Burma VJ""The Cove""Food, Inc.""The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers""Which Way Home"

Monday, February 1, 2010

Cold Toes, Warm Heart

It snowed. It snowed hard all night Friday and shockingly, we didn't lose power or water and the sun did not fall from the sky. Saturday afternoon, I walked the whole approximately 250 mile track around Lake Johnson and had a good, if cold time but I wish I had worn another pair of socks, its the third pair that's the charm. Its really not 250 miles around the lake, but when you are trying to walk in snow bitter cold, it adds up.

I know however, that Monday I will be one of maybe three people in the office. It doesn't matter how clear the roads are or how safe travel is, I work with people who take any excuse to not come to work. When they do finally come back to work all they'll do is bitch and whine and complain about having to make up the time they lost while they were "forced" to stay home. Bull shit.

I discovered that for all the bible thumping we do here, when I went to Mass on Sunday it was all but me. myself and I in attendance. I don't think the Baptists held church at all and I didn't see any sign that the Episcopalians were around either. I actually got to park in the parking lot! in good weather I park a blocks away. Little did I know what fair weather Christians were taking up all the close up spots.

I think I should get credit for getting myself to Mass. I want the bad Baptists to have to park three blocks away and let me have their good parking places. In reality, there should be special , really good parking places set aside for people who go despite a little snow on the ground. I go every week and park in hell while this assholes use any excuse to not go to Church and still get to park right up close. In my world this is wrong: I'm sorry the streets were plowed and there was no ice accumulation. You stayed home because you are a soulless pussy. Not only are you going to hell, now you must park in hell as well!.

The streets were okayish on Saturday too. I drove all the way to Lake Johnson without any problem at all. I drove 25 miles an hour, but since I drove slowly and carefully, it was a problem free trip. If you know what you're doing , snow isn't a problem. The people I saw with problems were the ones driving four wheel drives thinking they knew how to drive a four wheel drive. They don't. The SUV drivers were the ones who SOL, they were the ones slipping and getting caught in drifts. I drove like a little old lady in a two wheel drive minivan on snowy streets and I didn't as much as have a mild scare. I stopped at lights and pulled away with no problems. I stayed in the middle of the road and kept to the cleared areas.

Dogger and I even managed to take walks. She really likes it. I have really cold toes.

Join me in calling on CBS to kill the Focus on the Family ad before the Super Bowl on February 7!

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