nov·el /ˈnɒvəl/ –adjective/ of a new kind; different from anything seen or known before: a novel idea.
***
eye -noun/ 6. the power of seeing; appreciative or discriminating visual perception: the eye of an artist.
8. an attentive look, close observation, or watch
9. regard, view, aim, or intention
10. a manner or way of looking at a thing

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Yes, me

I am a creative
writer and visual designer with experience growing and promoting different
types of businesses.I develop visually
intriguing marketing materials in PowerPoint, Publisher, Photoshop and
inDesign.My background in the arts lets
me approach the demands of a busy, modern company with a keen and fresh eye, as
well as helping me maximize the new marketing opportunities in social media
marketing.

The weird news--a friend I haven't heard from in yonks sent an email announcement of a show he choreographed off-Broadway. Yet another example of someone doing something good. Is this the universe's way of saying "Get off your ass," or "Give up, you sad F*#k, you've wasted your life." He and I were best friends in junior high and we used to talk about taking Broadway--he as dancer/singer, me as serious actress. He's been the dance captain on a touring company of Mama Mia which has evidently been so long running it's close to a career. We were not friends our senior year of high school. We wrote our first few years of college, then lost touch and then last year a directory of our high school came out and we reconnected briefly by email.

News--I keep thinking of writing about it but haven't, but I did that show in the fall. I was an actress and I designed sets and costumes. We got good reviews but no audiences. I loved the play. I liked the other actresses. I felt the director was hard on me and particularly difficult given the three hats I was wearing. He stood me up one time so I wasted hours and lost money by not working. He didn't want me to act in it, and I felt like he punished me for it. That said, we stumbled through. Then he didn't want to pay me fully for all three jobs and when I asked why he attacked me and insulted me. I just didn't answer his last email--it wasn't worth it, but it haunts me just the same. Did I not stand up for myself, did I take the nobler path, etc. It's been three months--get over it already. I've tried the Buddhist technique--observe the anger, let it pass, do not engage with the anger--and it works for a time, but I'm still angry and I'm still hung up. His newest show just opened to good reviews. On the one hand I have friends in it, and I'm glad they're getting praise. On the other--well, I'm still angry. He likes to insult people who angered him (so in some ways I know I have the consolation that I'm not the only person on whom he's turned--many of them I know to be nice and decent) but I wonder what he's telling people I thought were my friends. What I fear is that he's telling people it was about money when it was actually about his lack of respect for me as an actress, as a designer, as a person. The money was minor (it was a stipend, hardly paid for gas) and if he had just said, I can't pay you as much as last year because the box office was low I would have been fine with it, but he didn't. I feel what I fear most--unheard and unseen. I'd actually like to see the play, but I don't want to see him. I thought about sending him a congratulations, but I doubt it would be taken in the spirit it was given, and then I wonder if maybe I only want to do it because it would look more noble. I am quite sure that were the situation reversed he would never congratulate me. It's really made me question whether I want to be in shows ever again, because theater is such an incestuous little world. I'm not thick skinned enough to just not care. Now I'm trying telling myself, "You're a good actress, a great designer and a nice person" whenever I start arguing with him in my head. If I had more self-esteem it would hardly bother me at all. I hate making someone horrid the star of the story of my life, and I do it again and again.