My Definition of Normal

Happy New Year!

Good morning everyone! It’s the first of January (at least on this side of the globe) and I just thought I’d share some things about 2013 that some of you might still be waiting for.

2013 feels strangely like 2012.

The sky is dark.

People are dancing downtown.

I am still refusing to listen to KPop.

I am still sitting in front of the computer.

Some things never change. I feel the same, tired as ever, more than weary thinking about school, which is technically starting tomorrow.

*A strong wind blows by*

I apologize for the whole lot of negativity above to start of the new year, but I don’t feel enthusiastic nor optimistic about facing life ahead at all.

*Another gust of wind rushes pass*

Okay, off with all those mood-dampeners now. I’ve got some hopes and wishes for 2013, some of which I hope come true. I also have some things I have to do this new year to make myself useful and less of an elderly teenager.

First, I’ve got to work twice as hard in school. My grades have been sliding down a slippery slope and I know it’s because I’ve been having gaps in my understanding. Not being as smart as the rest of the class means having to work much harder and I confess I haven’t been doing that the last two semesters. I’ve been telling myself to give up subconsciously, telling myself that I wasn’t cut out for this field of study, but no matter what, society is harsh and realistic and I’ve got to accept that I need this diploma to get wherever I want to be in the future.

Next, I still haven’t gotten to running the 10 km I’ve been wanting to run. You see, there’s this huge marathon held in the city centre here each year and the shortest distance one can compete in is the 10 km run. I’ve been yearning to participate in this event for the last 2 years, but haven’t gotten into the training part of it. Here’s to achieving distances in the months ahead.

Thirdly, I hope I can be a bit more daring. In real life and online. I’ve always been afraid of judgement and very, very shy about stuff. I need to break that barrier and reach out to the world… Okay, maybe not the world, but I’ve got to find people who share my quirks, which I’m doing quite fine with using this blog.

Yeah, I’ve been really comforted by some of you when real life got tough this past year. Just talking to you guys makes things much better.

So,

Thanks a billion, Readers, Followers and Lurkers! 🙂

Thank you all for your comments which never failed to cheer me up after very stressful days in school.

Which brings me to the next part of what-I-should-start-doing-in-2013. I should participate more. Meaning I should leave comments more often and talk to people instead of just lurking around and hesitating which I do more often than I dare admit. Part of the reason is that I’m afraid. Every time I hit the “Publish” or “Comment” button, my heart skips a beat and I wonder whether I’ve done the right thing. This year, I shall ditch those thoughts and post away (I’ll just pray I don’t get heart arrhythmia).

I should also go online less often and spend more time doing meaningful things, like cooking, baking and reading. Oh, and playing my ukulele. He’s been so neglected I can hear him crying at night. I’m going to need all these “skills” when I’m in Ireland for my internship without adult supervision. Nope, none at all. No adults. I don’t know if I’m truly happy about it. It means I can’t go crying to Mummy if anything bad happens (not that I do that though, but you always need things when you least expect it).

Also, I need to believe in people, in humanity. Gosh, I’ve been a human robot these past year and truly living only in my mind, in fantasy worlds. I lost faith in humanity because of all the things I see everywhere, everyday. I see bullying, cheating, greed, lust, random shouting and scolding either in the news or on public transport. We’re famous for having bus and train shouting matches. We’re also famous for being the most emotionless country in the world. I feel that I should believe that there are people out there who genuinely think that being nice is what people should do. We’re all caught up in life, in studying, in making money, that we never once stop to think how wonderful life can be, if we start being good to each other.

Last but not least, I should keep doing what I believe in. That mainly means going online and surfing through fan sites for GoT news and speculations, watching videos, writing blog posts and trying to get my youngest sister to spend less money, but they’re meaningful. As John Green likes to say, they “decrease world suck”. Getting my sister to be less materialistic is definitely the first step to making our lives better. Oh, those grumbling and shouting and expletive-spewing… We could all use a little less of that.

Well, that’s all for now.

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

Nothing’s better than a slice of thick chocolate cake to end the year.

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2 thoughts on “Happy New Year!”

I hope 2013 treats you kindly, and good luck on all your resolutions. I know that coming out from the safety of a comfort zone can be extremely challenging — it’s much easier said than done. Baby steps! Finding a place in a community, online or in real life, can sometimes feel scary, but your posts and comments are always a pleasure to read.

And good luck on your travels in Ireland, whenever that may be. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity!

Thank you so much, Raya. I’ll keep working at it. I wish you all the best this new year too! Take care and don’t stress yourself too much. 🙂
And yes, indeed. I’m really thankful for the opportunity. I’ll be leaving next month and hopefully I can appear here now and then to keep everyone updated.