Inside the secret sex lives of millennials

Lauded for their opinions on equality and empowerment, and widely criticized for risky sexual behavior, millennials are often thought of as a tech-obsessed generation that loves random hook-ups almost as much as staring at their phones. However, a new study dispels many of these assumptions.

SKYN condoms recently surveyed nearly 4,000 sexually active adults between the ages of 19 and 36 years of age and discovered some interesting findings about their attitudes, behaviours and preferences when it comes to sex. Not only are millennials responsibly enjoying their sex lives, (74% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their sex lives), they’re also very confident in the sack (70% of condom users report that they are “amazing” or “very good in bed” – no performance anxiety here!)

If you’re curious about what’s going on behind bedroom doors, here’s a few juicy findings that may surprise you and some thoughts from experts on what they mean for the future of sex.

Sex is more important than Starbucks.

Millennials prefer a steamy romp to a steamy macchiato. When asked if they would rather go one full year without having sex or one full year without drinking coffee, 80% of all respondents said they would give up the coffee for sex.

The old adage, “no glove, no love” is still very much in effect.

Millennials are smart about their sexual health. The 2018 Lifestyles Millennial Sex Survey found that 60% of respondents are using condoms ‘always’, ‘most of the time’, or ‘sometimes’ and that 73% of singles and 70% of those in casual relationships use condoms ‘always’ or ‘most of the time.’

Women are taking charge.

Men are no longer expected to supply the condoms – and that’s a positive thing, says Rena McDaniel, a clinical sexologist based in Chicago. As McDaniel shares, “one of the results that stuck out to me was the increased responsibility that women-identified folks are taking for their sexual health. The survey found that 71% of females agree that it is both sexes responsibility to have condoms while 60% of males agree.”

Double standards are alive and well.

However, when it comes to how we perceive female sexuality, we haven’t made as much progress as we’d like to think. When asked how they perceive a woman with multiple sexual partners, 54% of respondents said they’d view her negatively. Respondent’s perceptions of men having multiple partners is much more neutral.

“This points out a growth area in our quest to empower women-identified folks to take control of their sexuality and sexual safety. While lip service is given to positive attitudes about sexuality across genders, doing the work to unpack our implicit bias and judgments about femme sexuality is a work in progress,” says McDaniel.

In other words, we can do better – especially when it comes to supporting other women. Women are especially hard on each other, with 61% of females of looking poorly at women for having multiple partners.

Less swiping, more meeting in person.

Compared to SKYN’s 2017 Sex Survey, fewer millennials are using dating apps. Only 21% of respondents reported using online dating sites, mobile apps, or social media to find a sexual partner. People are eschewing apps in favor of meeting in person — good news for those of us who are hungry to spend less time on our phones.

“As much as I love dating apps, I think it’s great that more people say they prefer meeting partners through friends. Millennials tend to get a bad rap for being reliant on tech (in fact, we all could be off our phones a bit more), so the fact that they’re meeting people “IRL” is great news,” says Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex with Emily podcast.

This makes a lot of sense. “As folks move out of their 20’s and into their early to mid-thirties, it’s likely that they are armed with more confidence and more knowledge about themselves. This makes exploring things such as kink and kinkier toys much easier,” says McDaniel.

When asked Morse is excited about the survey results. “My biggest takeaway is that sex is a still a big part of millennials’ lives. Every once in a while I hear a discouraging report that suggests sex isn’t a priority millennials, so to me this is all great news. I love the fact that most of the respondents report they’re having sex multiple times per week – and that the vast majority say they’re satisfied or very satisfied with their sex lives,” she says. A sign that when it comes to our collective sex lives, we’re moving in the right direction.

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