Oh, dear, what can the matter beSeven old ladies got locked in the lavat'ryThey were there from Sunday 'till SaturdayNobody knew they were there

The first to come in was the minister's daughterShe went in to pass some superfluous waterShe pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught herAnd nobody knew she was there

The next to come in was dear Mrs. MasonThe stalls were all full so she pissed in the basinAnd that is the water that I washed my face inAnd nobody knew she was there

The third old lady was Amelia Garpickle;Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.She hurdled the door; she'd forgotten her nickel,And nobody knew she was there

The forth to come was old Mrs. HumphreyShe shifted and jiggled to get herself comfyThen to her dismay, she could not get her bum freeAnd nobody knew she was there

The fifth to come in, it was old Mrs. DraperShe sat herself down, and then found there was no paperShe had to clean up with a plasterer's scraperAnd nobody knew she was there

The sixth old lady was Emily Clancy;She went there 'cause something tickled her fancy,But when she got there it was ants in her pantsyAnd nobody knew she was there

The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Bender;She went there to repair a broken suspender.It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender,And nobody knew she was there

The janitor came in the early morning.He opened the door without any warning,The seven old ladies their seats were adorning,And nobody knew they were there.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxNotes On Guitar Tabs:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAll guitar tabs have been contributed by visitors to this site and representtheir interpretation of the tune. I am unable to verify their accuracy.

{D}Oh, dear, what can the matter be{A}Seven old ladies got locked in the lavat'ry{D}They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday{A}Nobody knew they were {D}there

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Alternate tabs

{G}Oh, dear, what can the matter be{D}Seven old ladies got locked in the lavat'ry{G}They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday{D7}Nobody knew they were {G}there