25.10.12

This is no ordinary Katy Perry or Wedding Unicorn (obv) - she "pees" lemonade, shoots pink FIRE and sneezes glitter.

A guest enjoys Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn's Lemonade Pee!

I mean. All I can really think to say is hallelujah. Suddenly I know what has been missing in my life.

Katy Perry the Wedding Unicorn was a wedding gift from the bride + groom's friends (fellow burning man-mates, obv). She was built in Brooklyn before being carefully transported to Vermont for the nuptials. She took four months to create and cost nearly $3,000 in materials!

I assume unless you live under a rock you have heard of the Half Ton Killer. You know Mayra Rosales, the GIANT woman (she weighs 1000 pounds. ONE THOUSAND. I feel skinny) who was accused of killing her nephew (by sitting/rolling on him) and then falsely admitted to being the killer until it came out that her sister (the boy's mother) actually killed him by hitting him with a hairbrush and fatty pants was just covering up for her.

This is some fucked up shit, 'Merica.

Her lawyer describes meeting his obese client for the first time and mistaking parts of her body for extra pillows.

"When you first walk in, she's got a blanket covering her; there's pillows all around her and so you don't know whether it's pillows or whether it's her," he said.

"If you reach back in again, you think this is all pillows. You make a circle and [you realize] that it's Mayra."

i actually have to hand it to this fatty. she pleaded guilty because she didn't want her sister's other children to go without a mother. that is heart warming.

however, when the coroners report stated that the child had died from being beaten not being smothered they knew it wasn't her because she is too fat to beat someone.

Here is the one part of this post where I will disappoint you. You must purchase the year-long option for $50. That is all this will cost and you will be able to watch TV on ANY UK site so think of all the Ab Fab and what-not this is buying you for a full year. Don't try and be cheap and buy the $5/month because it doesn't give you enough data to finish an episode (trust me, I tried).

7. Confirm email from Tunnel Bear to activate membership.

8. LOG-IN AND START TUNNEL BEAR!

9. Select "ON" for the knob on the left and "UK" for the knob on the right.