Returns August 7 AT 10PM

July 29, 2011

Quotes

Maherisms:

“These days ‘big government spending’ is about as popular as Casey Anthony at a Chuck-E-Cheese.” –Bill Maher

“What about the banks bailing out us this time? What about the banks lending the United States money, and then we say to them, ‘We’ll pay you back when we get it’?” –Bill Maher

“Far from restraining people, religion is what gives people license to commit crazy acts.” –Bill Maher

“John Boehner said the other day that the Democratic plan that was put forward is fake because it counts on saving money by ending our wars. Saving money by ending wars? Have you gone sane?!” –Bill Maher

On the Debt Ceiling:

“This pissing contest that has been going on it seems like forever now has reached that awkward moment that a pissing contest reaches where everyone is out of piss and now they’re just standing there with their dick in their hand.” –Bill Maher

“Congress has to stay there for the whole weekend…The Tea Party Republicans are especially pissed off at this. A lot of them had to cancel their Civil War re-enactments.” –Bill Maher

“Both parties are sitting in a burning theater. It’s crowded, it’s burning. They’re doing nothing. We yelled ‘fire,’ and now they call us irresponsible?” –Matt Kibbe

“This is my problem with the Democrats: they constantly sign on to shit that isn’t their idea. This is what Obama is doing now…I no longer understand this man. And I liked him and I voted for him. I just don’t understand this man anymore.” –Bill Maher

“I don’t think he should have linked the debt ceiling fight with the budget fight to begin with. The debt ceiling fight is about the past, money we’ve already spent; the budget fight is about the future.” –Bill Maher

“Whatever passes, hasn’t Barack Obama signed his own death warrant as a candidate for 2012?” –Bill Maher

On the Tea Party:

“Bill Clinton had a budget surplus. George Bush gave us the deficit, gave us the recession, gave us the deregulatory craziness that led us over the cliff. The Tea Party is the tail wagging the dog. It is the inmates running the asylum. It is people who don’t know history, economics, politics, sociology, science.” –Eliot Spitzer

“The reality is if the Tea Party hadn’t come to town, the Senate would have had a few speeches on the floor and the debt limit would have been raised.” –Margaret Hoover

On America "Doing Big Things":

“We can be compassionate, but the question, I think, is…who pays?...it’s upon us to be compassionate, and the government doesn’t always have to foot the bill.” –Margaret Hoover

“We could not put a man on the moon right now…we cannot get our energy policy passed. We cannot educate our kids. We cannot build infrastructure. We are now becoming a country that is falling behind because the only emphasis – and it’s manic – is cut taxes.” –Eliot Spitzer

On Taxes and Government Spending:

“This idea in the Republican mind will not go away; that somehow the American economy is this chained beast. And if we only let off the chains…We let off the chains! Tax revenues are the lowest in 60 years. I think the beast is just spent. And we’re just poking it with a stick.” –Bill Maher

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