Thursday, March 5, 2015

Importance

For me, in romantic relationships, there are 3 things that tend to be of priority importance to me. Beyond the usual/standard important things everybody, including the "experts", agree are required for a successful relationship. Those being - communication, honesty, faithfulness, sense of humor, respect... you can google the other things the experts say are necessary.

With all those expert things in place & the spark/chemistry/desire.... Once I'm in a relationship the top 3 things that are important to me, that show me love, security, confidence, & importance are: Time, Touch, & Words.

Time - Spending time together. It doesn't have to be anything grand or even anything special, just time. Sitting in a coffee shop reading different books. Lounging on the couch watching a movie. Road trip singing along to the radio. Walking through town in the rain. Doing laundry or running errands. A week long vacation to a new location doing something you've never done. Even taking a nap or sleeping together tangled up like a pretzel. Simply time spent together. Touch - Again something simple that speaks volumes to me. Holding hands, an arm over your shoulder or mindlessly playing with your hair. Kisses on your neck, a hand on the small of your back, a long hug that melts tensions away. There was a movie I saw years ago. I think it was called "The Story of Us". It's about a couple that's going through a hard time in their marriage possibly even getting divorced. There's a line the husband says (referring to when they were in bed sleeping) "As long as our feet touched, I knew we'd be ok". I can relate to a certain extent. I always seek out my partner through the night. I may not touch him every minute of the night, but if I wake up at all, even for 2 seconds I always reach out for him - with a hand, arm, butt, leg or just a foot. Another reason why I'm a fan of both people sleeping naked - more skin to connect with, to feel, to reach out for. There's connection in skin, an intimacy in it all.

Words - Something simple, or elaborate. An epic sonnet professing undying love or a simple sticky note with "missed you" placed on the bathroom mirror. A "good morning beautiful" text or "love you" whispered as your falling asleep. Hearing that he thought about you during the day, missed you, thinks your beautiful, loves your little quirks & laughs at your silliness. Hearing that your special someone is proud of you, impressed by something you said or did. Respects your thoughts & opinions & asks about them. Cute pet names & inside jokes. Willing to share hopes, dreams, fears & plans. Tells you how he feels about you & confirms what you may have thought based on his actions/gestures.