"For my father and I, both expertly trained in the self-defense of hiding our hearts to cover up our hurt, our current relationship is somewhat of a miracle. We are both finding out that love is stronger than steel, and that the pain of the past can be put behind us. For men in this culture to be more interested in being close than in being right is something to celebrate!"~~ From essay Finding My Father by Scott Kalechstein

Below is a Father's Day story of profound healing between son and father. This inspiring essay shows how even the thickest walls between people can be broken down when one person decides to make a sincere effort and take responsibility for their part in the drama. For more empowering ideas on taking responsibility and shifting from the role of victim to that of a creator, click here. May your days be filled with meaningful connections and powerful transformation.

Finding My Father
by Scott Kalechstein

(Note: Published with permission.)

"Good work, Scott. Now it's time to find your father."

When I participated in a retreat with my Mom in 1991, those were the last words the facilitator spoke to me. Find my father? What did he mean by that? Somehow I knew healing my relationship with Dad was vital, but how to go about it was another story. At the time the gulf between us seemed insurmountable, and I did not take the facilitator's words to heart. My feelings of being criticized and rejected by Dad were my deepest wound.

Before he was 30, my father fought in World War II, became a doctor, and married my mother. Their first two children were girls, and then I, the final one, plopped out. I can imagine my father's excitement about having a son, someone to guide from boyhood to manhood, to continue the family name, someone to be proud of, perhaps even someone to follow in his footsteps. In my early years I was the apple of his eye, and he was my knight in shining armor. We played sports and games, and often went fishing together.