Theory of adult male/female interaction, detailed at intellectualwhores.com. States that men and women can never be friends unless the man is gay, is sober and finds the woman repulsive, or has another woman much higher on his ladder.

Trying to ladder-jump is extremely risky and should not be attempted by the faint of heart.

Pathetic self-pitying tripe invented by and subscribed to by “Nice Guys” who blame women for rejecting them. They believe that a woman who they befriend owes them more then friendship because of all the "nice" things they've done. Often going into elaborate detail about how all women are just shallow, vacant, materialistic bitches because they won't have sex with them…then have the audacity to wonder why no woman would touch them with a ten foot pole.

Hint: Woman don’t use this so-called theory and never have; so you are wasting your time with it. A woman can tell when a man is only befriending her to get into her pants and no one is attracted to a person who wallows in self-pity and hate.

Direct quote from the male who invented this “theory”:
“Bitch -- 99.999% of women. Note for men: I know they are. Note to women: yes, you are in this group. More accurately it is a woman who is not honest about whyshe won't sleep with you. Or sometimes, just a woman who won't sleep with you. And of course women who won't admit the basic truth of Ladder Theory.”

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

The nerd's attempt to rationalize his lacking sex life taken to the extreme.

However, it's utterly hilarious. Just don't take it seriously (please).

Nerd 1: Why won't Michelle go out with me? I bought her an epic mount and wrote her into my fanfic.
Nerd 2: Did she tell you she just wanted to be friends?
Nerd 1: Y..Yeah.
Nerd 2: Well, according the ladder theory, you are on her friends ladder and therefore will never be getting any.
Nerd 1: *head explodes*