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Emo Game Character Countdown

Posted on: Jul 10, 2009

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By Kei Beneza (Dividelife), Onrpg writer

For every RPG and every anime, there will always be that not-so-talkative emo kid. It does annoy the heck out of some people but sells quite well when it comes to their girl fans. Besides, who can ever resist the not-so-talkative brat?

After seeing him in Resident Evil 2, who wouldn’t be surprised by Leon’s awesome transformation? Our Leonardo Di Caprio zombie killer has finally turned over to the dark side. Unable to blame anyone else for the loss of his beloved Ada Wong (who was still alive after all), Leon has undergone some drastic changes in terms of attitude and fashion sense. If you’d recall his peppy voice which was rather similar to the singing voice of Coheed and Cambria, you’d agree that Leon has become quite an emo kid. From an extrovert police boy to a secret laser-dodging emo kid, Leon is more than ready to offer his flesh to mindless zombies to feel more pain. Another amazing feature would be Leon’s Emo hair, which is a trademark for more emo dudes. Give him an eye liner and he’s all set. Go Leon! Go! Slash yourse— I mean, those zombies!

Specimen number 9: Ken MastersStatus: EMOClass: DrivenEmoWarrior

One good reason to be Emo would be to live under someone else’s shadow. Yes, our red gi’d karate man has been dwelling on the fact that he can’t beat our Japanese traveler Ryu. Due to this awkward bitterness, Ken Masters gave Ryu his red hair-tie (now being worn by Ryu, complimenting his glove colors) and claims that it was the power of his piece of cloth that made Ryu the warrior that he is. Ken Master’s power level is NOT over 9000. This heartbreaking news forced him to beat up his brother in law “Guile”. His Significant other “Eliza” was hurt and almost dumped him, but Ken’s “You can’t accept me for who I am” line managed to turn the tides. Ken is an emo kid with a purpose… hence his award winning move, the “SURE YOU CAN!”. Ken wasn’t so happy about Guile being the hero of the American Street Fighter film since they were both Americans and all. Luckily he was given the chance to beat Sagat in the film, which was then criticized by SF fans all over the world. According to Ryu, Ken’s weak power level is only enough to beat the likes of T.Hawk (who is no longer in Street fighter 4 due to him being weaker than everyone). Ken then laughed at Ryu’s face after they met up with Liu Kang (from Mortal Kombat) who told them “At least I was the hero of my Movie!”

After being rejected by the lovely Jaina Proudmoore, Kael’thas walked the path to destruction and personal turmoil. After gathering the other Emo Highelves, they had a slashing ceremony and called themselves the “BloodElves”. After countless slashing and numerous suicide attempts, Prince Kael’thas Sunstrider joined the mighty demo Illidan who was also Emo about certain things but had more power otherwise. With the undying feeling of rejection etched firmly into his dying heart, Kael’thas has sworn to kill the one who dumped the love of his life (yes, Arthas dumped proudmoore) hoping to make Jaina fall for with him (somehow). Since most people are still yearning for Black Temple Items, it is most certain that Illidan must die in every raid. Kael’thas, who is currently Illidan’s most loyal Emo kid then posted a video on youtube to address the situation at hand.

Chun-Li has been hunting down Vega ever since he killed her father (errr… parents… I don’t know). Since Vega was the master of changing identities (He keeps switching from Vega to M. Bison), Chun-Li joined Interpol in order to track him down. Other sources say that Chun-Li is currently focused on clearing her name after some rumors led people into thinking that she is a reporter. Chun-Li hates her life right now and is on the verge of suicide, thanks to the Kristin Kreuk movie. We managed to get in touch with Chun-Li but were unable to get further information on her status. All we know is that she’s currently pirating the Chun-Li movie since “IT SUCKED” badly. Chun-Li is also keeping touch with Capcom since she wasn’t quite fond of Ryu or Ken getting to kill Bison/Vega in the end. After they dumped her proposal for a better storyline, Chun-Li started eating like hell and eventually attained those oversized legs.

Bison to Chun-Li: “To you, the day Bison razed your village was the worst day of your life. To me, it was Tuesday.”

Poor Luigi… always the second player… always watching Mario save the princess… never getting to rescue the princess even though the second player was the one who did. Luigi hasn’t complained one bit since he appeared on the series. Luigi is not only Emo, but a coward as well. Since Mario was starting to feel sorry for his virgin brother, the playboy plumber decided to flee the scene, resulting to the new game Mario is missing. Luigi wasn’t too happy with this concept since (once again) his name wasn’t featured in the title despite his important role in the game. It then became clear to him that people won’t love him the way they did his brother. Luigi was originally as fat as his brother (if you remember Super Mario 1 for the NES); however, his depression led to anorexic results, forcing him to lose weight in a short amount of time.

Specimen number 5: Sylvanas WindrunnerStatus: DEAD but still EMOClass: DeadElvenRangerEmo

Probably the hottest dead girl to ever hit the gaming world, Sylvanas is without a doubt EMO. After losing the ability to reproduce, Sylvanas lost all hope on having a family of her own. At an early stage, Sylvanas was always the hottest among the Windrunner sisters. Being the head cheerleader of the High elf brigade back in HighElfSchool, Sylvanas was used to attracting boys everywhere. After the incident that turned her into a banshee, Sylvanas lost all hope and eventually started a group known as the Forsaken (how emo is that?). With her new BFF (bestfriendforever) Varimathras, Sylvanas managed to create a home for other emo peeps (Undercity).

Note: Yep… she’s definitely the best person to talk to when you’re depressed <_<

Illidan was a night elf with a promising future. Aside from being the brother of the powerful Malfurion Stormrage, Illidan was blessed with “amber eyes”. This means that Illidan has a great destiny to pursue, until he decided to ruin it all by turning Emo. Illidan was the first Emo game character to publish a book. After having the love of his life stolen by his brother Malfurion, Illidan was forced to write a book called “Perpetrated by my Brother” which is probably one of the most EMO titles to go around. After gaining demonic powers from the deceiver, Illidan went forth to pursue his destiny (or so he believes) by challenging Darth—-err— Arthas to a duel for the Frozen Throne. Yeah he lost, which is why he is currently weeping inside the black temple while talking to his imaginary friend (the skull). It is rather evident that Illidan is a big Shakespeare fan due to his depressing works and of course the trademark skull. Now an outdated boss in Wrath of the Lich King, Illidan is desperate for a slav—-friend. You could say that he is NOT PREPARED.

Squall is quite a character. He’s got the lovely Quistis wanting every piece of him and what does he do? Squall is pretty much the silent type who makes retarded remarks such as “Whatever…” or “Fine…”. Rinoa tried to get a few smiles out but the guy is just as solid as a rock. Squall is on the verge of self discovery, dumping a lot of women regardless of how hot they were. One good thing about this emo kid is his ability to dance. You’d probably think that he’s practically useless due to his emo nature but don’t judge him quickly, the guy’s a good dancer. Squall Leonhart carries the emo trademark known as the ANIMEFACESCAR, which normally belongs to a lot of emo characters in both the anime and gaming world.

You know him! You’ve seen him! You’ve heard of him! YEP! It’s CLOUD! Cloud is more or less the most stereotypical Emo kid in the anime industry. Not only did he wish he was someone else, He actually became someone else (if you remember, he was telling everyone about Zack’s story as though it was him who did it). Cloud is a very lucky Emo kid who eventually takes the heart of the lovely big-breasted Tifa Lockhart. Unfortunately for her, Cloud is only interested in stealing his bestfriend’s girlfriend (whom by the way didn’t take the bait). Cloud does nothing but blame himself but makes up for it by kicking arse with his kickarse sword (which really doesn’t belong to him in the first place). Cloud also has a motorcycle that works well with his Emoness, thus making his fangirls scream in despair for they will never have someone as emo as Cloud.

AND NOW…. FOR OUR NUMBER 1 EMO KID!

Specimen number 1: Raiden (Jack)Status: EMO as EverClass: EMO-KING

Raiden was a sissy boy back then in Metal Gear 2. I was kinda hoping that he’d somehow be different in MGS 4 but… I guess it’s impossible. Don’t get me wrong though, Raiden did become more EMO in MGS 4 (so I guess he really did change). If Cloud and Squall rejected their suitors due to their emoness, Raiden actually dumped his OWN WIFE just so he could protect Solid Snake (cuz he was too weak back then uhuhuhuhuhu). Raiden is a sad man who went through countless Otakunese training in order to wield a sword like Himura Kenshin. Jack is a sad man who lives in despair, telling the world he doesn’t care but actually does. After hearing about Rose (his ex-wife) being married to Colonel Campbell, our Emo friend grew more angsty even though it was his fault for leaving Rose in the first place. After hearing about everything being a big hoax, Raiden reconciles with Rose and went on with life.