So now I’m talking here, directto you the people. You expectto trust the words the media saybut Washington, New York, LAare packed with journalists who doa great disservice – that means you,yes, BBC and CNN(though Fox has honourable men).Oh yes. The press are here with meWe’re glad to have them. They’ll be free,to ask their questions. No surprisethat they’ll still write it up as lies.I’m happy to collaborateand if they want a scrap – can’t wait.But we’ve made progress. Say it loud:we’ve done good work. I’m very proud.

OK, who’s first? Where to begin?Oh boy. Of course. It’s General Flynn.You hint at diplomatic crimesbut I’ve made clear so many timesI never talked to them but twice.Putin rang up, he was real nice.Well done, the night I won the vote.Inauguration: all she wrote.Flynn’s not a crook, a real fine manand he did nothing wrong. The canmust still be carried. He misledMike Pence. That’s why I had his head.But all this is a ploy they choose –the Democrats can’t bear to lose.

The news says chaos. It’s obscene.This is a finely-tuned machine,this operation that I run.A mere four weeks, and we have donemore stuff than previous regimes.Obama in his wildest dreamscould never operate this way.I won. I won. And did I sayI got the highest college shareof any pres since Reagan. There.What’s that? You think that wasn’t true?Obama? Clinton? And Bush too?OK. That story’s maybe cold.I just passed on what I was told.

Obama left me with a mess.The Middle East. Korea. Guessjust who’s the guy to sort them out.You got it. Me, without a doubt

The tone. The hatred. Gets me downto hear reporters in this townabuse me. I am not that bad.My win, the ratings that I’ve had,my business empire all suggestof all the candidates, I’m best.But I’ll tell you how this will play.Tomorrow’s newspapers will say“Trump raved.” Too good a chance to miss.But hey, it’s great. I’m loving this.

Anti-semitic? Racist? Me?Let’s treat this issue seriously.I know myself and in my mindI’m the most tolerant guy you’ll find.I said I’d keep the Muslims out.It made the liberals scream and shoutbut my migration ban was fine,the rollout smooth, along the line.The only place where it fell shortwas that we got a lousy court.A bad decision held us back;in no time things will be on track.And by the way, my cabinetcould be the most impressive yet.Fantastic talents, I’m quite moved.Can’t wait to get them all approved.

Could you explain your cities plan?I would be honored. I’m the manwho pulled in way above my shareof votes that were predicted there.Afro-American, as wellas women and Hispanics. Hell,I broke the mould. So, will you beconsulting with the CBC?And who are they? Or must I guess?Congressional Black Caucus, yes?You’re black. Maybe you know these guys,could introduce me, put them wise?I’m just a journalist. No sweat.I’ve got your name. I shan’t forget.

I don’t believe it. Here we go.The big thing that they want to know:when General Flynn was on the phoneto Russia, did he act aloneor was this authorised by me?I told you. One-track minds. You see?The thing they should be chasing downis all the leaking in this town.Top level confidential stuffgets in the press. Not good enough.What’s that? No, there is no mistake.The leaks are real. The news is fake.