47

My super power is being a conversation killer. I used to get offended when it would happen, but now I kind of laugh it off as their loss. Typically it’s nice to have nice chats with people. but sometimes people want to be a conversation killer when they’re talking to someone who is going on and on about Trump or something. So here’s my tip on ending a conversation dead it its tracks – when they ask what you do for a living, tell them that you stay at home with your kids. They will have nothing else to say to you. Ever. Every single time. It’s become almost a social experiment for me at parties. I love telling people that what I “do” is stay home with my kids. I mean because if I stay at home with my kids I must have nothing else to talk about.

I could answer this question differently. I could say that truthfully I am a writer. That I am a blogger. That I run marathons. That I’m in sales. I’ve been in sales for nearly eight years – building a team and a business. But I do all of this from home…because my number one priority is still..and as it was when I quit my corporate job 10 years ago..to stay home to take care of my kids. This is my choice and I’m honored to have the option to choose this. I don’t miss corporate America. I don’t miss meetings. I don’t miss many many things. And even though I have a job and do other things that produce not only quality brain stuff – but also money, I will always tell you that I stay at home with my kids. And not just to have you walk away from me. Although sometimes…yay!

So this year I’ve been blogging less. I’ve been walking away from the parts of blogging that were not happy things for my brain anymore. And I’ve walked away from one of my bigger yearly projects because I feel like there is something else for me. During a very brief conversation with a friend Sunday night, we both asked each other what was next with our lives. I am 47 today..and she is about 10 years old than I am..and I LOVE that we are still asking that question. We are not washed up just because we are not in our 20s. We are not done just because we are middle aged. We are not disposable and not interesting because we’ve stayed at home with our kids for a time. We are not done reinventing ourselves. We are still defining our lives. Our long lives. Our meaningful lives. And we can still dream and become what we want to be when we grow up. And we both feel that in 2016 there will be some new definitions and clarity to what that is.

That is what being 47 is for me. It’s being open to new possibilities, to still defining what my now and future is, and to be okay if my chosen profession today is a conversation killer for you.

This quick conversation with this brilliant friend is exactly what I needed when I needed it. I believe it was not just fate that put us together in my dining room on Sunday night.

And as I was going back over our chat in my head, I jumped on Facebook. Within minutes, two of my dear friends posted similar sentiments that released me completely of something that has been weighing hard on me this year.

One posted “…I don’t care if people like me or not. If they don’t, that’s their problem, not mine.”

And the other “…I want to FOCUS on only the people who love me and seek out my company and stop chasing the ones who don’t care.”

You can’t make people like you. And spending time on that is worthless. Focus your love and energy where it belongs. I’ve reconnected with a true old friend this year, and THAT is important and fills a heart.

This post is horribly written, and at 47 I just don’t have anymore fucks to give about it.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m not dead yet. And at 47 it’s okay to keep reinventing myself professionally. And personally, I will surround myself with the people who are good people and give some fucks about me in return and make relationships easy like they should be.

It makes me laugh to think about how we always ask 17 year olds what they want to be when they grow up. What they want to study in college. Where they want to live. As 30 years later I’m still here deciding those things because why not. It’s a long and beautiful life with so much new and beautiful to experience. I will not settle. I will never stop exploring what’s next. And I will not focus on who I cannot change and who doesn’t want to be with me. I will focus more on who does. Those people right in front of me. I will never look past them.

47 is going to be a very good year.

About Tracy

My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned freelance writer, social media manager, world traveler, and marathon runner. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com

Comments

I too gave up that annual project this year, which has caused me a lot of heart break, but also made me really reflect on what I wanted in my life. It’s great that you’re still asking the big questions – here’s to a life of always doing so.Cheryl at Busy Since Birth recently posted..A Long December

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my beautiful (inside and out) friend! I love you. (And your fabulous skirt!)
47 is going to be amazing. You make it amazing.Alison recently posted..How I Narrowly Survived The Bouncy House

This brought tears to my eyes, Tracy, because they are the very things I’ve been working up to recently. I love your conversation killer statement – I use that one, too, despite all the other things I may be doing at that moment in life.. I love knowing that we are all still trying to find ourselves at any age. Thankfully we don’t have to decide at 17. Happy 47. xoAndrea recently posted..Not Funny

Yesssssss!!!!!! Happy birthday! I’m feeling this so much and high fiving you from Michigan. Love you, love this post (um and I LOVE your skirt!). Thank you for writing this.Angela Youngblood recently posted..THE Christmas Party

I’ll own my comment, that “I don’t care if people like me or not, it’s their problem, not mine.” It took me years to figure that out. I finally realized it’s not only just social paranoia but a very convenient way of staying stuck. If you’re so busy worrying what others think of you there is no way to grow. Because all your time is spent on what someone else thinks, not what you think. What someone else’s expectations are, not what yours are.

2015 for me was summed up in 3 separate DMs I got from 3 different men. Men I’d known since my New York days of doing stand up comedy and running from club to club. All 3 mentioned how I was “out of their league” (there’s a league?) and they thought they’d never have had a chance with me. It was really funny to me because none of them said something at the time, They, in these DMs. called me smart, and funny, and pretty. I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE HEARD THAT ALL THOSE YEARS AGO! And because they all came with a 2 month period it reminded me how little we know of what others think of us. I would never have guessed that any of these men had any interest in me at all.

And that’s why caring about what others think is so useless. I would have totally missed the mark on these 3 guys. Because of their behavior I could have interpreted it as they didn’t like me. So everybody get on with your bad selves and worry only about who you like. You’re the most important person you know.

Happy birthday dear Tracy. I take it as the highest compliment that you refer to me as “friend.”

This is amazing. At 27, I often find myself wrestling with insecurities (that I had hoped would die after high school). Am I fun? Am I successful enough? Should I have more letters behind my name? Why can’t I contour? That 15 year old found a test for cancer…great…I just binge watched Bones…for the 4th time…
It is exhausting.
I am trying hard to remember that if my world were a vacuum, and I was the only one inside, would I be happy with who I am? If the answer is yes, then comparison is moot. If the answer is no, I focus on develop habits, in a healthy way, that reflect values and traits worth replicating. Reinvention and self-improvement are life long goals.
Here is to 2016 – may it be full of development and happiness and void of trepidation and doubt.

Happy Birthday, my middle-aged sista ! 😉
I had a wonderful conversation yesterday with another middle-aged friend (OMG, the middle-aged women are talking!), and she said that when you’re in your 40s, you have to decide whether you’ll be bitter or better. Obviously you have chosen better, fabulous, really. Love you! <3Kerstin recently posted..Resolution or Revolution?

AMEN to this! I truly believe we are always just beginning, always on the verge of new things, even if those new things are just new ways of seeing the old things. Yes to re-invention and trying something new and closing one door so that the next door has a chance to appear. . . only so many hours in the days to have our hands on knobs, even less hours to walk through the door. I believe strongly in letting go of things so that we can make that time and space.

Thank you so much for this post. I’ve been struggling with these same issues.

In fact, at the age of 42 I’ve chosen to quit working a full-time office job due to hostile co-workers. I was sick of putting all my energy into relationships that will never be fixed. So it’s time concentrate on what’s important my family and my true friends who support me always. Life is too short for the BS.
Have s very Happy Holiday and a rockin’ New Year.

I’ve been meaning to comment here since I first read this but then I stepped away from the computer for the past few days. Happiest of birthdays to you my beautiful friend! I love every single word of this and frankly what my soul needed to read. As I will turn 40 in 2016, I’m excited by the possibility of continued re-invention. You are an amazing inspiration. xxoChristine @ Love, Life, Surf recently posted..Top 5 Nailed It List – 2015

Happy Birthday and HELL YES to this!! I’m turning 41 this year and just “reinventing” myself or whatever the hell you call it, just by continuing to challenge myself though racing, writing and raising my crazy kids. I love that “at our age” we’re still figuring it out and letting those who don’t get it fall by the wayside. YES!!!
PS – I absolutely love your outfit in that last picture!!Allie recently posted..The Boys Get A Lesson in Giving

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Welcome

Hi and welcome to Sellabit Mum. My name is Tracy Morrison and I live in sunny Minnesota. I'm neither British nor a nun - I'm just a Midwesterner with a headache. This is mainly a humor and lifestyle blog that documents the lighter side of parenting three girls. I run marathons and love to talk about fitness. We also love to travel and model social good with our family. I am an ex-corporate ladder climber turned writer, social media maven(not really) and ruler of my own little universe(very small). Aren't we all. I would love for you to contact me at tracy@sellabitmum.com