I have been a fan of a certain writer for years now. Got to know her online, she introduced me to some major talent in the art field. What drew me to her? Her huge tits. When you put yourself out there as an author, then change your Facebook pic to you wearing a super-tight “geek shirt“, you lose some points in the artistic realm.

What got me on this tit rant was this woman’s newest update to her Kickstarter. She started this series of books years ago. I have always supported her. My problem is… She treats her novel as a comic book! Yeah, there are heroes and superhuman fights, but as each book has come along, she started adding more artwork. Not just to the book, but as incentives to pledge. Her books have become novels with concept art pages in the center. Fluff!

If that wasn’t enough, her stretch goals. Useless comi-con bling. T-shirts, art cards (each from famous comic artists), zipper bobs. Zipper bobs?! WTF is that and what does it have to do with the story? This is from her own website…

In addition to the novel itself, the book features an art gallery with original character designs by artists from Marvel, DC, Dark Horse and Image: Barry Kitson, Dan Panosian, Dave Johnson, Mark McKenna, Natasha Allegri, Jason Baroody, Derek Laufman, Thor Mangila and Jon ‘Roc’ Upchurch – as well as YouTube personality Comic Book Girl 19.

So she wrote a book… And had everyone else do the hard work!

My biggest hate of this new breed of writer is Kickstarter. You only have to have a basic outline of a story to get thousands of horny teens to pony up $50,000 K for a novel that isn’t even written yet. If you would stop fucking around with designers, 3 editors and trips South of the Border, this last book of the trilogy would be finished. Part one was OK. Part two? I couldn’t stomach it.

So today, when she put up her video update, I called her and all writers out on not having a story before you raised the money. I joked about her boobs and how her vacation photos would be in my inbox soon. Joking with her as I always do.

I get berated.

Give me $50K. I would sit in a cabin for a month and bang out something pretty cool. I would use that money to support myself and expenses, not t-shirts and stickers. There is time for all that if you can get a movie deal out of this trilogy. I am in a piss mood anyway so fuck it. Let the boobs win. I like boobs and hate having my feelings for them used to sell something I am not interested in.