Thursday, August 19, 2004

Shades of red

Are women allowed to get pissed about not getting sex? Its certainly not Stepford, is it? I feel small and petty about being pissed. At the same time, I'm so angry I feel I could cry. Thats definetly a womanly thing to say. So angry I could cry. But its true. I would feel better if I screamed. But my neighbors wouldn't. *sigh* Okay, get ready for the rant, because I feel it coming.

I wear ear plugs to bed. Did you know that? Of course not. I wear ear plugs because Rick snores, and I find myself completely unable to sleep with the loud inconsistant racket beside me. Anyway, I told you that to tell you this:

I wake up to a slight swaying movement of the bed that puts just enough pressure on my full bladder to make me uncomfortable. In my groggy sleepiness, I wonder what it may be. Am I imagining it? No, its a small movement, but the bed is definetly moving. With ear plugs in my ears, I strain for hints of noise, telling me whats going on. No such luck. Suddenly it comes to me. As the bed rhythmically moves, I think it must be Rick jerking off. Fucking bastard! I'm not facing him, so I grab my pillow and roll over, my swift movement quickly met by his own, suddenly turning his back to me. I was right. I must have been, yes? Hes been putting off sex with me, so he can whack off in the middle of the night?! I'm angry, but the swaying of the bed and the pressure it put on my bladder was too much, so I find myself jumping up to use the bathroom, being quick about it so he doesn't have a chance to 'finish off'.

Once I climb back into bed, I wrap my arm around his waist. His quiet breathing tells me hes not sleeping. I lower my hand, finding his dick, still somewhat hard, balls tight. Well, if hes horny, I tell myself, then why don't we fuck? My hand caresses him, and he rolls onto his back. This must be a good sign! Without a second thought, I begin to suck his dick, expecting full appreciation from him, his hand touching me to let me know he likes it, or even a moan or two. Nothing. He plays the part of a corpse lying before me. His dick lacks the usual salute from my oral talents. I hear him make a sound. "Are you asleep?" I ask him. "No." He replies. I continue to suck him, with little response. Frustrated, I think, I'll climb on top of him. That should do the trick. As I get on my knees, I lean up close to him for a kiss, my breasts brushing against his chest. I get a cold, closed mouth kiss. "Whats wrong?", I ask. "Nothing," he answers.

I'm horny as all hell, having been neglected for far too long. I so desperatly want to be with my husband. To feel close to him. To connect. To fuck, for crying out loud! Annoyed at his low response to my touch, I lay down next to him. "*sigh* Sorry I bothered you," I say, hoping for him to pull me on top of him, impaling me on his cock. He laughs. He fucking laughs. Now I'm pissed. You couldn't tell could you? Thats why I specified. Here I am blowing his dick, wanting to randomly fuck him in the middle of the night, and he is laughing me off.

He must have come already, when he was jerking off, I think to myself. Fucking bastard. Selfish jerk. I briefly think of masturbating, right next to him, coming alone with a perfectly good body laying next to me. I shoot that down, as he may enjoy that and I feel he shouldn't be rewarded. So instead, I stew. I get pissed until I can't lie next to him for one more minute, and then I find myself here, typing out my anger to a silent machine. Not as productive as I had anticipated, since I'm still pissed and still horny. And now I can't sleep. Goddammit!!

19 Comments:

Personally, that makes absolutely no sense to me. Then again, I am a horny bastard. But... I wonder if he might feel like having sex with you is too much "work" for some reason. Are you ok with just a quickie sometimes?

You know, sometimes I understand wanting to masturbate instead of initiating sex, on occasion. It's his anger response that I don't get. And my husband's for that matter. "How DARE you find me sexually attractive!" I mean.. what the hell else are they mad about?!?

mbl, I am more than willing to have a quickie now and then. I'll take it whenever I can get it! lol I'm a hornball too. And to be fair, I was doing all the work last night, he didn't even have to move! Free hand job, blow job, and ride, no movement necessary. I hope I don't come off as high maintainence, because I am really quite the opposite. :)

Odalis, we are sisters in more ways than you know! lol It baffles me how they can act put out from our come ons. If for whatever reason, I wasn't in the mood for a quick fuck, I'd at least act appreciative for the attention. But perhaps we are just better than them. lol:)

Good Wife - why would anyone want to jack off when their wife is ready and willing right there? Sounds like you guys need to talk about why this guy would rather pet the monkey than have a good time with you.

I'd be rather angry if my guy chose his hand over me especially when I'm laying right next to him. I find myself willing and ready most of the time. Laughing is adding insult to injury and I would've done something right then and there to let him know how angry he made me, probably with some snide comment. But, I hope you guys figure out why Ms. Palm is getting action over the Good Wife...what injustice!! >:-O 0:-)

Maybe, he is just really lazy. Maybe he thinks he has to work too hard at it, everytime pleasing you. He's a guy right? Just wanted a quick release. I was with the same woman for 15 years, always faithfull and attentive. I only know how to make love, and did everytime. Then, about 1 year before she left, she just wanted to get fucked. No more makeing love, just slam her and get it over fast. I should have known something was wrong. Here's a suggestion, next time let him finish. Right after he does, pull out a brand new toy, one he has never seen. Start to use it. If he can get a hard on, tell him to use his hand, and give yourself a good, screaming orgasim, never letting him touch you. I bet he is on you the next night asking to see it again. You may start something.

That's one reason I pretty much stopped my "self actualization" escapades (I saw you comment on it on my Blog), I'm afraid it might take away from the real thing and my wife would get pissed if I didn't experience a major "full release" each time. When I ever do make baby Jeebus cry, I don't ever go to completion so I can save the sweet nectar for later that night.

OMG! I feel the same way! Last night for instance, my BF is too tired, says he'll wake me up in the middle of the night (he always says that). I wake up at 2 am to go the bathroom, and he's watching a movie! I try to provote something, and he claims he's still too tired, trying to fall back asleep. I eventually get pissed and come to check my email.

I feel your pain. I'm with the first man in my entire life who doesn't want sex as much as I do. It's weird. But I'm certainly grateful he's never tried masturbating with me in bed beside him, though I have done it with him asleep beside me. But I figure if he pushes me off to the side that it doesn't matter to him the way it does to me.

Perhaps I'm missing the boat. Until tonight, I've never seen your blog before, and until two nights ago, I'd never seen a blog, period, so it's altogether possible that I haven't read enough here to understand all the dynamics. That said, here goes.

The point that came instantly to me was that you were asleep when this event began. Is it at all possible that he didn't want to wake you just because he was horny? I'm more of a night-owl than my little darlin', for instance (case in point, it's 0641 all over Texas, and she's asleep and I haven't been to bed all night -- insomnia sucks, btw!), and if I got horny at 4:00 in the morning, I wouldn't consider waking her just to satisfy my urge. I'd think that would be pretty inconsiderate of me. "Sorry, honey. I know you're tired and you have to wake up in two hours, but I got a woody, so wake up and let's screw!" I just don't see it happening around here.

Again, I'm way outside and looking in through an admittedly narrow window, but does he deserve some benefit of the doubt, perchance?

This is my first visit to your site, found your posting from ErosBlog - nice site!

I can't see why any man would do that to his wife. Granted, I'm not married at the moment - but I used to be. And I learned from my mistakes, as I did exactly what your husband did. Unfortunately, I found (after we divorced) out that I just was not attracted to her, thus I did not have the drive to have sex with her. Now my life is quite the opposite, and I'll never put myself in that situation again - Nor will I let anyone do that to me (as did a girlfriend a few years ago, for her own reasons). I suggest you talk with your husband, find out what is in his head, and open the lines of communication. Do it calmly and not in an attacking manor too, makes it easier for him to open up...