songs the 90's forgot

The music in Applebee's today was amazing. The station ID tagline was something like "The 90's...you lived through them then... so you'll survive this." They played Celine Dion's "That's They Way It Is," which, after all this time, it still seems to be. They played the Backstreet Boys' immortal ode to their own popularity, "Larger Than Life." They played Vanilla Ice's "Play That Funky Music White Boy" from "Cool as Ice," for pho's sake. I believe they may have played the other song by Marcy Playground. It was that kind of set.

My two other favorite walkable restaurants are both closed on Tuesdays, as it turns out, not sure why. So I ended up at Applebee's because I'd never eaten there before, and I believe in trying all chains at least once, because that's what chains are for, right? Anyways, I'm sure the stuff white people like blog will do a piece on this if they have not already, but what is with American food and the extra tablespoon of Salt and/or Sugar that they put on everything? It happens at Applebee's, it happens at Outback Steakhouse, it happens less often at Denny's (where they instead favor grease, bless their hearts). It's like they're afraid the actual taste of the ingredients might leak through if they don't blow up a salt grenade over the food. I dunno what I was expecting out of my sampler plate, but it was definitely....more.

Some chains vary from one region of the country to the next, esp. if they are franchises. Applebee's is singularly unique in its uniform awfulness from state to state.

The only chain worse than Applebee's is Amigo's. Everything they serve is covered in thick layers of so-called cheese, and many unfortunate patrons end up getting the runs before even leaving the restaurant. Service is horrible, and the only people who stay through the end of the "meal" are really only there for some booze.