46 comments:

If they call you up to question you, wearing a NRA button on your coat/collar, having a haircut, and answering questions they give you on what you believe good punishment is with, "I believe in an EYE for an EYE." Politically, if they ask you who you voted for, say the last time you voted was for Reagan, because nobody since has been conservative enough....

I was called up and served at two trials back when I was fresh out of college at my first job: one for resisting arrest and the other aggravated criminal sexual assault. Many people from the juror pool I was in were excused after they admitted remembering the news about the cases or how they knew the defendant, the defense team or the prosecutor. As a newbie in the community, I was an "ideal" juror with no reason to be excused.

Perhaps you should check the court's web site to see what cases are up for trial this week and do a little Google research today.

Hi Irish,Fed, State, Local???? Back in the day, late 80's 'was workin' for Irvin aero and had to go to Fed Jury duty in "Beautiful Downtown L.A.!!!" it was alo in July. The premise was,"Wear the kind of clothes you go to work in." No problem!! I'm an old "Parachute Rigger" so I wore my flip flops, a pair of beat up cut-off jeans and my best "Sport Death" T-shirt,,,,also had a pull-up cord (for closing rigs on my belt loop). At the "Intro" the dude telling us all about this gig kinda got in my case because of my attire!! (Read "premise") I said,"This 'is' what I wear to "WORK!!!" Got that??!!" Our group got called for a couple of cases but my number never got picked!!! Got Gunz.........OUTLAW!!!!,BSBD, (Blue Skies, Black Death!!)III%,skybill-out

Hi Irish,Don't shave for a day or two....definitely bathe and brush your teeth!! Get your best scrubby camo jeans, a great "Patriotic" T-Shirt, (Confederate Flag something or another like (NAACP over a Confederate Flag...'National Association for the Awakening of Confederate Patriots!!') will definitely get their attention , a Ball cap with a set of Scull and Cross Bones for toppers!!.............

Sometimes I get the feeling where I need to go into my Seafaring Family's past, say "AAAARRRRgh Matie!!" and Hoist the "JOLLY ROGER!!!!!"Maybe it is time??III%,skybill-out

Hi Irish,Fed, State, Local???? Back in the day, late 80's 'was workin' for Irvin aero and had to go to Fed Jury duty in "Beautiful Downtown L.A.!!!" it was alo in July. The premise was,"Wear the kind of clothes you go to work in." No problem!! I'm an old "Parachute Rigger" so I wore my flip flops, a pair of beat up cut-off jeans and my best "Sport Death" T-shirt,,,,also had a pull-up cord (for closing rigs on my belt loop). At the "Intro" the dude telling us all about this gig kinda got in my case because of my attire!! (Read "premise") I said,"This 'is' what I wear to "WORK!!!" Got that??!!" Our group got called for a couple of cases but my number never got picked!!! Got Gunz.........OUTLAW!!!!,BSBD, (Blue Skies, Black Death!!)III%,skybill-out

I had my lower back fused thirty years ago so every time they send me one of those I just repeat that to them and tell them that I can't sit for long periods of time because of lower back nerve pain and sciatica and never hear another word.

Same way some Hollywood dudes got out of the draft during the Vietnam war. Take a strong laxative and eat hard boiled eggs, drink lots of beer and tacos heavily covered in hot sauce. Shit and pee your pants. Leave them on and head for the court house. Too bad you have to go tomorrow. Prepping about 2 weeks before is more effective.

The bit with clothes works well. I told them I only owned t's and jeans and if they wanted me in anything else I would dress appropriately as soon as they cut me a check to cover the cost of what they wanted me to wear. They took my name off the list, of course maybe the idea of considering lawyers,politicians,leo's, and judges guilty and everyone else innocent no matter the charges had something to do with it, ymmv.

Use a Sharpie to make a "tattoo" of a swastika in the crook of your thumb on the hand you write with, let it age overnight and thru a shower in the morning so that it looks like a prison tattoo, then make sure that the she-beast behind the counter sees it when you sign in. Problem fixed.

Right outta' "Hang em' High" that old Clint Eastwood, Sergio Leone Movie!!!'Kinda got me to thinkin?? At the Nuremberg hangins' With all the dead bodies at the end of ropes, with all those Nazzies pissin and shitin' themselves.... the place must have stunk worse than a slaughter house full of dead pigs!!!skybill-out

Years ago I was in the jury pool for a capital murder case. At the time I was coaching youth sports and knew a bunch of cops and people in the prosecutors office 'cause they either coached or I had their brats on my teams. When they passed out the MANY page question sheet for a capital murder case I made sure I listed every LEO I was aware of. I also noted I was a fan of the death penalty. When they were doing the live interviews a bit later I was asked if the fact that I knew so many LEOs could potentially have an impact on my ability to judge the evidence of the case I said, "if they arrested the guy he's probably guilty". They sent me home. The case lasted 4 months and the sentencing part another 2 months. I couldn't afford that much time on jury duty.

The next time I was called was for an nasty assault case. It was expected to last three days tops so I didn't bother trying to get out. Wound up on the jury. After lunch break on the first day of the trial, as I was entering the jury box, I made eye contact with a young woman who I'd worked with in the past and smiled and nodded. Before the trial resumed I was summoned to the judge's room and questioned about what I'd "said" to the young woman. I told 'em I'd worked with her a few years prior and had simply nodded and said "hello". I was dismissed since she was the defendant's GF (I had no idea, especially since she was a nice young woman and the defendant was a scumbag and his lawyer a greasy SOB. I'd would have voted guilty fersure!

Third time I had a job that only covered pay for 3 days of jury duty. I heard other people making the financial hardship case so I tried also and it was all that was necessary to be sent home.

The next time I got the postcard in the mail it was the third time in about 5 years so I sent them back a nastigram suggesting that maybe they should consider sometimes calling some of my many millions of fellow citizens. It was the last I've heard from them.

That's what I used to do, until others did it - leading the summoner-office to catch on to the trick.Now (at least at the Vista court-house - in California) - you can only show up on Mondays, Tuesdays, & Wednesdays.

(This Monday made my 4th week in a trial. / I got tricked (due to a deliberation-questionnaire) into rewarding an elderly Filipino gold-digger a monetary-compensation, when she (intentionally) didn't co-operate with the medical-staff at her hospital. / I felt like a hypocrite, but just wanted to get it over with - when I got out-voted in the jury-room. / So - we went in to give our verdict, but (fortunately) the judge said we were dismissed - due to an in-court settlement. I was ecstatic to be done with serving; but pissed - that I'd had four weeks of my life wasted, when I could have been wasting it - doing nothing some-where else. / That night - I ate at a German restaurant (in Carlsbad), ordering a three-sausage platter...including red cabbage, sauerkraut, sour potatoes (with "Cholula"-sauce on them), etc.).)

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