Watching the faces of those poor Brits trying to get back from Sharm el-Sheikh makes you wonder if foreign holidays are worth the cost and aggravation in our terror-blighted times, says Sunday People columnist Rachael Bletchly

America's always a good bet though ...the theme parks of sunny Orlando, perhaps?

Two hour long airport queues are just taking the Mickey. (Image: Bloomberg)

Yep, if you can face two-hour queues at immigration, or in my case half a day. (I was booted out of LA airport in 2002 over a simple visa error. I now have two visas -yet still get detained by stroppy Department of Homeland Security officers.)

But if you're not a potential terrorist like me you'll soon be able to jump those queues using special kiosks.....if you cough up £107 a head on top of your £9 Esta.

Then you see the faces of those hacked-off Brits trying to fly home from Sharm-el-Sheikh following the Russian plane crash and think, "Can I really be arsed?"

And I've just discovered Facebook is developing a “teleporter” using virtual reality goggles to transport us to different places without so much as a Winter Sun brochure.

Could THIS be the answer?

A princely way to travel? Charles tries out a pair of virtual reality goggles during his visit to New Zealand. (Image: Rex)

We'll chose a virtual destination that looks just like real place, see our own hands and feet - so we can paddle in the Med or hold a Pina Colada and even interact with other people, ie row about who gets the next round.

No more rip-offs, security fears, or rude officials – just a dreamy getaway at the click of a button.

But then I remember all the helpful hotel staff and guides I've met whose livelihoods depend on tourism. And I scroll through the snaps of unexpected adventures and eye-opening experiences, and all the friends I've made on foreign holidays.

So I'll put up with the reality of stricter security checks, longer delays and opportunist tour operators.

A sparkling welcome to the US of A

I might even manage 'Have a nice day!' when the Land of the Free charges my family an entry fee while holding me up in the naughty room.

But just until the virtual teleporter becomes a proper Star Trek version. Beam me up Scotty!

GET YOUR LADS OUT FOR THE POM-POMS

Three cheers for sex equality! (Image: WireImage)

Boys should become cheerleaders to teach them to respect women.

So say University of East Anglia experts who've been studying attitudes in mixed-sex and all-female troupes.

While I'm all for breaking down gender barriers and encouraging boys and girls to do more sport together, cheerleading isn't the answer.

If you want to make PE cool, what's wrong with street-dancing troupes like BGT winners Diversity? Or Strictly-style ballroom classes?

Because cheerleading is an American college import entirely designed to EXPLOIT female sexuality.

Just look at the buttock-baring shorts and skimpy bras of some of the troupes. They make “Cheerleader” singer Katy Perry look positively prim.

Man, he cheers like a woman!

And, if you need any more convincing that the Haka is the only synchronised dancing any lad should do on a footy pitch, check out the Foster's cheerleader ad!

SEX POTS

Pot porn got viewers in a right old spin. (Image: BBC)

Oh how the Twittersphere lit up with outrage this week after the first episode of the BBC's “new” challenge show The Great Pottery Throwdown.

I say new, but it's actually just another rehash of The Great British Bake Off.

Except it's dirtier....much, much dirtier.

Or “pure filth” according to some viewers disgusted by endless smutty innuendo about beautiful cracks and wet pulling, sand all that slapping and knocking .

Mel and Sue, naughty but nice. (Image: Vicki Couchman)

In fact it made Mel and Sue's gags about nice buns and soggy bottoms sound positively Cbeebies.

Now, I love an innuendo, I do. In fact if you want a double entendre I'm just the girl to give you one.

It's the sheer lack of originality that gets me. We've already had the Great British Sewing Bee, and The Big Allotment Challenge both sponging of the original concept.

Showstopping sex?

Why don't they just cut the cack and bring us The Great British Bonk-Off.

Actually, I may be on to something there....

HOMING IN ON EVERYDAY HEROES

Remembrance Sunday at the Cenotaph (Image: PA)

Today, as we remember the brave boys who gave their lives on battlefields, spare a thought for the heroes and heroines of the home front.

Records of the Civilian Defence Gallantry Awards given during the Second World War have just been put up online, revealing, for the first time, some extraordinary stories of courageous men, women and children caught up in the horror.

Like brave schoolboy Royston Newman, 10, who acted as a human shield to protect his baby brother in a bombing raid – after seeing a woman neighbour blown to pieces beside him.

Other CD awards were given to air raid wardens, first aiders and firewatchers. Like my own grandfather Reg.

My granddad Reg

Wounded in the First War, while serving with the Royal Gloucester Hussars he became a volunteer fireman in the Second.

I was a toddler when he died and regret never having the chance to learn about his experiences.

Or those of my other granddad, Luke, who spoke little about the Great War.

My mum only found out by chance, while nursing an old soldier pal, that he'd been a sniper behind the lines at Ypres and had hidden up a tree for days to pick off the Hun.

Today I'll be remembering both my grandfathers and their fallen comrades, as well as the folk who kept the home fires burning....while putting out the ones the Germans started.

MAKING AN EXHIBITION OF HIMSELF

Dave thinks Maggie museum ban is pants (Image: Marks and Spencer)

Model David Gandy has criticised the V&A Museum for not exhibiting Maggie Thatcher's old outfits. “She had her style and she had her handbag,” he said, “that's what she was known for.” Well, perhaps they'll want his pants when he's snuffed it.

MOODY NEWS

Aaaaaaargh!

I was very happy to read that moody people who “ride an emotional roller-coaster”are able to adapt to change more quickly. Psychologists from University College London think moodiness helps reinforce our responses to good or bad events and environmental factors. Oh yeah, and how the hell could they possibly understand how I feel;!

COCK-A-HOOP OVER NOBBLY CARROTS

Not exactly 24 carrot

I was thrilled to the marrow to learn Tesco has finally decided it will start selling ugly fruit and veg.

After years of perfect parsnips, blemish-free beets and un-bent bananas the supermarket says it will now offer wonky an misshapen crops it used bin, on special offer.

Potty parsnip (Image: SWNS)

Last year the company admitted up to two-thirds of it's food ends up in the bin, including 68 per cent of bagged salad and 24 per cent of grapes.

And, while they say customers still prefer pretty veg and need to be “educated” that a nobbly spud or over-russeted apple is OK, it's clearly great news.

Because we can once more play that glorious game of hunt the willy-shaped carrot.