Mar 8, 2010

My Dad's Birthday

Today is a tough one for me. It is supposed to be my dad's birthday. He would be 65.

I have been trying to think of the best way to mark this day. Dad's favourite drink was Coke. He drank it all day every day. I have not been able to touch it. I thought I could drink a toast to him today but I am not ready. Strange, I know, but I can't go near it without feeling sick.

It has been really hard to think of anything to do in his honour because I actually don't believe he is gone. I wonder if that feeling ever goes away? I am also finding it impossible to talk about him with anyone, even my family, because it makes it real and I can't control my emotions yet.

We did come up with a way to think of him today that I can handle though.

My Dad loved the zoo. He went to the Toronto Zoo with my son and husband on his last visit here so my mom, brother and sister and I decided we would remember him today by adopting a gorilla in his name. I think he would like that.

6 comments:

This post made me so sad. I'm sorry. Huge hugs to you. Your dad sounds like he was one terrific father and grandfather. You were blessed, but I know how impossibly hard this is for you. What a beautiful tribute to your dad. xoxo

What an awesome idea! I miss my dad terribly as well. He's been gone 3 yrs now and I still can't believe it. Thankfully I have some wonderful memories to look back on. Something that helps me is that I know that my dad would want me to be happy. So, I'm happy but there's a huge part of me that's missing. One day at a time.....