Paul Pierce's return from injury in Game 1 is the talk of the NBA Finals

Mark Duncan/Associated PressPaul Pierce didn't rise from the dead, but the theatrics surrounding his quick recovering from a Game 1 sprained knee has drawn mixed reviews as Game 2 approaches Sunday night.

Look, I don't want to say Pierce was being melodramatic in letting his teammates carry him off the court to a waiting wheelchair, returning a few minutes later looking like all he needed was a dab of Ben-Gay and attributing his recovery to God sending down an angel to heal him.

But there were only two more theatrical possibilities.

One, being taken to Massachusetts General via Life Flight helicopter.

Two, running from the locker room to rejoin his teammates on a prosthetic leg with a saw in one hand and an IV pole in the other.

The reaction from Los Angeles head coach and former Knicks player Phil Jackson and the rest of the Lakers bordered on calling Pierce an Academy Award-worthy actor. Jackson strongly rejected the notion that Pierce's return matched Willis Reed's gimpy entrance for the Knicks in the 1970 NBA Finals.

He's right. It didn't.

And since Reed wasn't carried by his teammates and didn't require a wheelchair, and since angels can't be seen with the naked eye, always reserved Celtics fans would agree.

It wasn't Reed-like at all. It was Lazarus-like.

Former Indians outfielder Coco Crisp was at the center of a bench-clearing brawl between the Red Sox and Rays

Michael Dwyer/Associated PressCoco Crisp didn't seem to much the worse for wear after his battle with Tampa Bay pitcher James Shields on Thursday night in Boston.

If you haven't seen the picture, Crisp charges the mound after pitcher James Shield hit him with a pitch, then does a Matrix-like body bend to avoid Shields' hard right cross.

It was an impressive reminder that Crisp is the son of a former boxer. Crisp's story when he joined the Indians was that his father, Loyce, got hit so hard in his first professional fight that he told his son he saw hamburgers floating above him. Not long after, he opened a restaurant.

In the Sox-Rays brawl, Crisp landed a punch before getting slammed to the ground from behind. He has yet to say whether he will open a pancake house when he retires but if he continues to struggle, the announcement could come soon.

The Indians made Lonnie Chisenhall their first pick in the draft despite his recent arrest for burglary

Chisenholm, 19, committed the crime when he was 18. Still, he called himself a "dumb kid" when it happened and said he "was where I wasn't supposed to be."

That's what somebody might say about testing positive after second-hand marijuana inhalation. But I guess if he means he wasn't supposed to somewhere stealing stuff, that's hard to argue.

Holmes has always felt unappreciated. He once said that Rocky Marciano couldn't "carry my jockstrap." In an interview with USA Today, Holmes didn't retreat from those words.

"That wasn't a sling at Marciano ... I love me," he said.

How refreshing. You just don't find enough self-love in athletes these days.

Former Indians manager Charlie Manuel benched reigning NL MVP Jimmy Rollins for failure to run out a popup

Said Rollins, "It's my fault. I can't get mad at him. That's like breaking the law and getting mad when the police show up."

Too little self-love and too much self-blame.

An usher at Seattle's Safeco field approached a lesbian couple during a Mariners game and told them to stop kissing

The usher said a woman nearby complained because children were present and she didn't know how to explain the public display of affection between two women.

You'd think if you could explain to them why the Mariners, one of the favorites in the AL West, are 21-39, you can explain anything.

A high school pitcher and catcher conspired to bean the home plate umpire

The catcher purposely missed a fastball and let it hit the ump, who earlier had called the pitcher's brother out on strikes. The Georgia school, Stephens County, was fined $1,000 and put on "severe warning status."

Chad Johnson reversed his stance and says he'll report to the Bengals' minicamp and training camp

"It's the reinvention of Ocho Cinco," Johnson was quoted saying. "I'm dead serious. People need to take me as I am because I just don't give a [expletive] anymore. That's how I'd sum up my attitude for the next season."

Onward to 2008, where the Bengals should adopt the spirit of those words and make them into a sign over the door leading to the tunnel on game days:

"Bengals football: We just don't give a [expletive] anymore."

Bill Parcells says -- contrary to reports -- he wants former Akron star Jason Taylor to play for the Dolphins next season

"Why wouldn't you want one of the very best players?" Parcells said in an interview with The Associated Press. The story went on to say "Parcells couldn't have seemed more at ease during a 30-minute interview in which he seemed absolutely genuine."

Who could argue that? Just listen to Parcells' long-after-the-fact explanation for why Taylor might have felt ignored during a visit to team headquarters.

Parcells says, "I wear hearing aids. That particular day I didn't have them with me."Huh?

A steroids dealer, who recently gave the NFL names of players who received drugs he distributed, committed suicide

No wonder the NFL was so upset with ESPN for giving that "Playmakers" series such a slant toward drugs, sex and crime. It's all lies.

Boxer Evander Holyfield's $10 million estate is under foreclosure

The modest, charming 54,000-square-foot home has 109 rooms, including 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley. He reportedly paid an electric bill of $17,000 recently due to an elaborate lighting display.

A Utah company is suing him, claiming he failed to pay a half million in landscaping costs. The mother of one of his nine children is suing for unpaid child support.

Why does he keep boxing at age 45? Clearly, it's not about the money. Just love of the sport.

YOU SAID IT

"Bud:

"This (Lakers-Celtics) series is way over-hyped ... how they compare this to the rivalry of Magic/Bird is ridiculous. And please tell me why we have to wait so long for the finals to start and why is the postseason so damn long ... it drives me crazy."

A. Paul Pierce says God sent an angel down to help him after he hurt his knee Thursday. I'd like to believe him but three days between Game 1 and Game 2? That's proof there is no God, at least not a compassionate one.

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