investigates a recent news report revealing that an apartment complex owned by Yankee third baseman AlexRodriguez isn't up to code. Coincidentally (or not!), the Preakness Stakes has announced an unusual

unsatisfying solution of newly minted free agent, AlexRodriguez. On a visceral, gut level, this is a horrendous idea, but let’s move beyond that immediate reaction and take stock of the pros and the cons

pick it. Over the years of his career, 1997 to 2011, he had 29 WAR, the 12th-highest WAR among shortstops. (And many of them, including AlexRodriguez, Miguel Tejada, Nomar Garciaparra, and Michael Young

-- but this relative paucity only highlights their general absence. Many of the nicknames that break the paradigm are derivative of previous ones: Francisco Rodriguez's "K-Rod" is a takeoff on AlexRodriguez's A-Rod

was like AlexRodriguez:I got the analogy wrong. Microsoft is not A-Rod. The better analogy is that the best parts of the Microsoft product portfolio, particularly the dominant Windows Office and Enterprise

precedent to combat overspending. But austerity programs don't work when you scrimp on efficient programs that do work; they work when you cut the fat. As long as Mark Teixeira, A.J. Burnett, AlexRodriguez

shortstop ever isn't Honus Wagner or AlexRodriguez, it's Ozzie Smith, so the offensive bar is comparatively lower. Ozzie took a lot more walks than Andrelton has, but Andrelton has greater power, and his

. And the National League has especially suffered.
In the last 50 years, five catchers have won the MVP. In the American League, Joe Mauer (2009), Ivan Rodriguez (1999), and Thurmon Munson (1976) have all won

, and most likely more offense? Enter: Pete Rose.
Regardless of what you may think about him, Rose knows a thing or two or five about hitting. During the postseason last year, he, AlexRodriguez and Frank

little in ways of power, speed or anything, really. Not much to see here. Sean Rodriguez (29), he who hit 50 home runs in 724 Triple-A plate appearances for the Angels (ugh), actually smacked double-digit

and will not collapse under the weight of their fans.
I propose a few new Rangers-player-themed concessions to add to the menu:
1. The ALEX RIOShootthat'sagiantpastramisandwich, a two-foot-long pastrami sandwich