New Orleans, LA -- Inconsolable Saints football fan Derek Guillory plans to learn jazz flute effective immediately and continuing through the beginning of September, this according to his brother late Sunday night.

“Just don’t bring up anything about this season or this team or football in general until the schedule starts up again,” Mr. Guillory’s brother Pat requested in a statement released to the media minutes after the Saints heartbreaking last-second 29-24 loss to the Minnesota Vikings.

“He will be throwing himself fully into learning jazz flute as the allure has always been strong to him. He needs the next eight months to study, absorb and learn to improvise. Any information about the Saints will absolutely destroy his confidence and ability to spontaneously compose through this improvisation.”

Jordan Friedberg is a writer and humorist based in New York City. Currently the editor of Flake News, he has previously written professionally for Sony and YAI in Manhattan. He voices the character Moe Flake and all the other characters featured in videos throughout the Flake News site. Follow on Twitter @theflakenews.

Jordan Friedberg is a writer and humorist based in New York City. Currently the editor of Flake News, he has previously written professionally for Sony and YAI in Manhattan. He voices the character Moe Flake and all the other characters featured in videos throughout the Flake News site. Follow on Twitter @theflakenews.