Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures In The Good Land

Here in The Good Land I made my place beside the still waters. I became a tiller of the soil, a keeper of the flocks, and a hater of pigs.

Ohiofarmgirl's Adventures in The Good Land is largely a fish out of water tale about how I eventually found my footing on a small farm in an Amish town. We are a mostly organic, somewhat self sufficient, sustainable farm in Ohio. There's action and adventure and I'll always tell you the truth about farming.

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Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The
scene: A short, somewhat unkempt woman in a dirty shirt and a bad
ponytail walked out onto a stage. A single spotlight illuminated her in the darkness.
She was holding in her arms a small gray and white cat with wide
green eyes and little, white Mickey Mouse paws. She stopped center
stage and the cat jumped down, sat himself down at her feet, and
wrapped his tail around his paws. He looked up to the woman and
nodded.

“Thank
you, Little Mo, and thank you all – friends – for coming. I know
that yesterday's post was a shock and I wanted to tell you all what
is going on.”

“First,
thank you all for your well wishes and kind words. We have received
some very, very bad news and are reeling from what we found out and what is going to
happen.”

“I spent the whole day Friday
at the OSU Veterinary Hospital with My Most
Excellent Good Dog, Titan. It did not go well. Two extremely
knowledgeable and kind doctors confirmed what my own vet told me the
previous Monday. Ti has been diagnosed with the very worst kind of bone
cancer, osteosarcoma. This is extremely aggressive and fast moving.
They said by the time it presents like this it is already too late.”

“There
is no treatment and there is no cure. The only thing we can do is
treat his pain until it becomes unmanageable. This will be Titan's end.
The doctors there said that he has “a few weeks” until it becomes
unmanageable. We reviewed all of the options and the hard truth is,
there are no options but pain management.”

“When
you get a puppy, folks tell you that large dogs - especially some
breeds - don't live very long....and you think, 'Well, ten years is a
pretty long life.' But then the time passes very quickly and then
before you know it you are told that your most beloved good dog will
not live to see his eleventh birthday. It has been a terrible shock.”

“For
now Titan is OK. But I am not. He has the right meds so that is
helpful but his decline has already been sharp and steep. He, of course, has
no idea what is going on other than I am extremely upset, I keep
giving him treats, and he can't play ball like we normally do. He is
also sick of my hovering around and giving him worried looks. The
rest of the pack is on edge so we are trying very hard to have a normal
routine and have regular days.”

“So
why did I write that story if Ti is still with us? Because this is
the final post of Adventures in the Good Land. My blog will end
today.”

“I
think it's weird when people just stop blogging so I feel like I owe
you all at least an explanation and a proper goodbye. With everything
going on with Ti, I honestly cannot think about anything else right
now.”

“I
also wanted Ti to be remembered as I see him, as a hero on our
'battlefield' - the both of us slaying foes and doing the best we
can for the farm. I wanted him to be remembered in all his glory and
valor. I wanted to have that picture of him to carry with me....and not
as him dying in my arms as we lovingly send him to his final rest. I
wanted you all to know him how I see him and I wanted you all to know
that he is going on ahead of me. I wanted you to know how he changed me as a person and how much he changed my life.”

“Even tho I spend so much time talking about the details of our days, in real life I am an intensely private person.
Most of you will not even know when Ti passes. So I wanted to give him
one last glorious tribute because I don't think I can do it after
he is gone. So that is why I wrote the story now, while he is still
at my feet.”

“Yesterday
was the first day that felt like fall here. It feels like the turning
of the page and it feels like the right time to end my blog of our
life here. I started this blog as our own record keeping... but then
it turned into me teaching folks about farming. We have acquired a
huge body of knowledge here and I'm glad that I could share it with
you.”

“In a
million years I never thought anyone would read this or care about
our life. But you did and I thank you most heartily for your
friendship. I have loved to watch you all start projects, begin your
farm, try new things...and best of all – to be able to cheer you
on. My greatest satisfaction is watching you all be successful in
your efforts. Thank you for letting me be part of that. I have
enjoyed letting you all come along as we all figured this out
together.”

“But
my grief for Ti is my own and is not for others to watch. I cannot
talk about it or share his decline. The most respectful thing I can
do for such a proud and noble dog is leave you with the memory of him
being robust and full of life.”

“Of
course, there is more.”

“Earlier
in the year I felt like things were beginning to change. I didn't
know what it was but I felt like we had to start preparing for
changes. Big changes. It felt like how it was when I was getting
ready to leave my old life. I recognized that feeling and so we have
been preparing ourselves.. We've been trying to figure out what is
going to happen next and getting ready for that next big thing.”

“The
next big thing is that we are moving. We are ending our time here at
the farm, packing up some kind of Noah's Arc (not ark but arc as in “story line arc”)
to transport our cats and dogs, and heading out for the Land Where They
Don't Have Winter.”

“Both
my husband and I had that moment last winter when we just couldn't
take the snow and the cold and the ice one more second. We realized that we are not tied here for
any reason. We can go anywhere and do anything...and so we are.”

“We
started reaching out, started wondering, started trying to see if we
could make it work... and miraculously all the points lined up. Quite
unexpectedly, and entirely surprisingly.... it looks like it is all
going to come together in a way that we could not have believed or
planned. But it is all happening in the very best way.”

“Nothing
is set in stone right now but the momentum of the thing is picking
up. Unexpected turning of events, a few “just so happened”, a
couple of “right places and right times” are all weaving together
a new story for us...and we are eager to get going.”

“Are
we giving up? Selling out? Quitting? Nope. We love our life. We just
want to do it where we can enjoy the entire year and not be stuck
inside cursing the snow and ice. We think that is entirely
reasonable. You see, we are actually ten years into a five year plan.
We thought that being here was going to be short term but we actually
ended up being trapped here when the economy turned. But we adapted,
pivoted, dug deep and made this work. Gladly.”

“The
best thing that happened during that time was that my husband got a
CDL (commercial drivers license) and now we really can go anywhere
and live where ever we want. He can also drive a huge greyhound style
bus that has been converted into an RV-like dog and cat ark. So that
is what we are doing. Why not? There are other adventures out there
and we are going to find them.”

“So
why not continue the story? Document our journey and The Long Drive
with an unnatural number of cats and dogs in a huge bus?”

“Because
my heart is broken and I cannot carry the burden of thinking about
anything else except for my beloved Good Dog. I don't know if he will
make the trip with us... in all likelihood he will not. While there
is a poetic beauty to knowing that he will only ever know the farm
and working with me outside and leading our pack... I simply cannot
do this right now. The idea of writing about him after he is gone
just breaks me. So that is why I wrote our final Adventure Tail .and
that is why I am closing down the blog. ”

“For
those of you who like to be in touch, I will mostly be offline. I
need to concentrate on shutting down this part of our life. But most
importantly, I need to take care of my Good Dog. My people are not
given to grand shows of emotion or public displays. We don't even cry
in public. So privately, respectfully, I will tend to my most
beloved, most faithful, most valiant companion. And when it is time,
I will not fail him. I will continue to praise God for providing me
with such a wonderful friend and thank Him for all the time that Ti
and I have spent together.”

“My
Most Excellent Good Dog, Titan Wolfgang Maximus Big Bear. My Right
Hand. The First in Command. The Other Half of My Sky. That day we
randomly went to look at puppies... he picked me. He.picked.me. I
have never been so thankful for anything in my life.”

“Thank
you all, friends, for your well wishes and prayers. Thank you for our
time together.”

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

“I'm
just getting warmed up, Sir, it is you who cannot keep up with me!”
Col Ti answered.

The two
war companions were fighting as they did in the old days, surrounded
by foes, fighting back to back. The melee of battle around them. But
neither felt more at home. Or more alive.

The evil
rat fiends and the mouse menace had joined forces and called the
fighters of the Good Land into open combat. OFG and Col Ti had
answered with a merciless show of force. It would not be long and
these rodents would know the true meaning of the word defeat.

The mud
and the blood and the chaos that was hand to hand combat swirled
around them. They were holding their ground. OFG's forces were making
her proud. She could hear the horns cry out their commands, see the
banners direct the ground troops to their next moves, and very soon
this battle would be very handily sorted out.

Out of
the corner of her eye she saw her fighters advance. It was all going
perfectly according to plan. Overhead she heard hundreds of arrows
from her archers fly overhead. That would drive those stupid mice
back. They could advance now.

“At
sides!” She cried to Col Ti and as one they both took opposite
steps and now were fighting side by side. They fought mightily.

“We'll
be home for dinner soon.....” She said.

“Just
as soon as I finish off a new more of these damnable creatures! Then
you can count my kills and see I've bested you once again!” Col Ti
roared a laugh that struck terror into the hearts of enemy.

OFG
turned to answer the jibe with her own when she saw it. It seemed
impossibly slow. There he was, her most trusted, most able
battlemate, her First in Command, her Right Hand. Col Ti was robust
and full of life, his massive figure against the backdrop of the
day's warring when it struck.

The
arrow.

She
tried but could not break it's path. She could not pull him to
safety. It was insidious. Wrathful. It struck true. She watched in
horror as it pierced Col Ti and struck him down. She felt it as
surely as it had ran through her own heart.

“NO!”
She roared. “No! Ti! No!”

OFG had
seen death. She had seen those she loved be taken. She knew that an
old warrior like Col Ti would not live forever. But she did not think
it would be here. She did not think it would be this day.

He was
on the ground. Mortally wounded. She was there with him. The battle
continued to rage around them as if her world had not just ended.

“Get
up. Get up, Ti, get up. No, no, no...”

He was
calm. He looked at his wound. He knew. “No.” He said. “I am
struck down.”

She was
crying hot tears now, refusing to believe what she was seeing. “Get
up! Get up, Ti. Get on your feet, soldier!” She ordered trying to
pull him to his feet.

The
wound was beyond repair. They both knew it.

“No,
stop it now.” Col Ti said to her, almost gently. “Don't do this.
Do not deny me a glorious death in battle. Today is a good day to
die. We will be victorious and you will sing song of this day and
tell stories on how this day was won! Tell them of how I fought by
your side today and all of these long years.”

He
reached up and brushed away her tears. She held his big hand to her
face, she kissed it, she was still shaking her head. “Don't go, Ti,
I need you.”

But his
eyes were past seeing her now. He was looking just beyond her. “Do
you hear it? My ancestors call to me!” A wolfish grin past over his
lips. “Do you hear the songs? I... I... have only heard that
language in my dreams! Such proud songs being sung! Such bold
warriors! And oh, the feast! Do you smell the roasts on the spits!
Have you ever seen so much bloodwine!”

He
reached out weakly as if he was pushing open a large door.

“There!
Look there! There are the brothers of my youth! I have not seen them
since I left my own mother's door. Such brave warriors – look at
them. Do you see them? Such a great company!”

OFG was
crying hard tears. “Please, Ti, don't...How can I do this without
you? My most beloved companion. Please... please...”

In a
final moment of clarity he looked at her. He saw her and said firmly,
“It is your only command that I cannot obey. I cannot stay. You
must let me go to the halls of my ancestors. This body is ruined. Be
glad that I lived such a good life with you. Be glad I will not grow
old and feeble, unable to walk, or work, or be of any use. Look at
me. I am strong and clear … I do not want to die an old feeble man
muttering into my porridge. Death comes for us all and I will meet
it head on. It is my time.”

He
continued, “Do not be afraid, my master, The Shining Light of the
Realm will show you the way. And what harm can befall you if you
stand under the Shadow of the Black Death? Kai and Zander will help
you now. They will be your companions. Let them guard you well. But
you must let me go. ”

Acceptance
gradually washed across OFG's face, through her tears. She struggled
to find the words to tell him how grateful she was for every day they
were together. To tell him how proud she was of him. To thank him for
all their long years together. To say everything she ever wanted him
to know... but he already knew these things. There was no need for
grand gestures now in these last few moments. All the love she had
for him had been given freely – on each of their days together. He
knew.

“If
you wish, I will wait for you outside the doors of The Great Feast,
my master, I will wait until you join me. When I hear of your coming
I will gather the others and hail you home. I will cry out to you –
my war cry will be loud and long and you will know it is me. We will
all run to greet you and usher you home. I will do this. It may be
long years for you but it will be just a moment for me. I've waited
all these years to go home to my ancestors... I can wait .. just... a
few...”

And then
he was gone.

Across
the battlefield The Dread Commander Zander, The Black Death, saw Col
Ti fall. He saw his mother throw herself down to him, to hold his
hand, to look into his eyes, and now she was burying her face in his
chest.

“To
your liege!” He cried and rallied his men, barking orders, and
urging them to OFG. The men spread out around her.

From up
on the hill The Princess Kai heard the urgent horns she turned to see
her mother's standard bearers run up the black flag. She knew what
that meant.

“Fighters!
On me – and try to keep up you slackards! Fight you fools, fight
like your very lives depend on it. Now run!” Kai's fighting forces
cut through the enemy like a scythe. Kai raced dangerously
ahead of her men but she was relentless. The sunlight caught her flaming battle tiara and she was The Shining Light of the Realm.

The Princess Kairan with such force that
when she reached the fallen Col Ti she skidded to a stop. The
warrior Princess crouched low in front of her mother, guarding her and the
fallen hero. Kai took the brunt of the blows and her men killed the
enemy without mercy.

There in
the midst of battle Zander stood over them, fighting their foes.
Zander's mighty shadow covered OFG slumped over the dead body of Col
Ti.

Time
passed.

A small
figure hurried through the darkness of the forest. A pale moon barely
lit the path but she went as fast as she could, completely aware that
she was being followed. Little Mo was absolutely the worst tracker in
the history of the Good Land. She hoped he would give up but she had
to admit he was determined to keep up with her.

Finally
she stopped. “Come out, Little Mo, I know you are there.”

She
turned and waited for him to come out from behind the tree. He peeped
around the trunk, his wide eyes reflecting in the moonlight. “You
need to go back, Little Mo.”

He
stepped up to her determinedly. “Sir, I am going with you.” He
had a small pack and was wearing his traveling clothes. He looked at
her, pleading. “Please, Sir. You need me.”

She was
dressed as a traveler also and not as their leader. She didn't even
carry her axe...but Little Mo had it in his pack for her.

OFG
sighed heavily and swept the hood from the nondescript cloak off her
head. Little Mo could see the silver in her once dark hair. For
perhaps the first time he noted the lines on her face. She never did
recover from the death of Col Ti. He had won a glorious death in
battle but it was she who carried a wounded heart that would not
heal.

“You
cannot come with me, Little Mo.” She said firmly. She held up her
hands to stay his protests. “The Good Land needs to you stay.
Zander needs you to stay and help him. Together with Bitty they need
to rule the Good Land and you need to help them. Do this for me,
Little Mo. Please.”

From in
the darkness a horse nickered and stepped. Little Mo looked up to see
the big man seated on the enormous black horse with no name.

OFG
gestured to the big man. “You know that I cannot be married to both
the Good Land and also to my mate. It is time, Little Mo. Do you know
the best thing about getting older? It is that you know when it is
time for the younger ones to take over. This is Zander's time. Bitty
came to us at just the right time. Kai has gone off to establish her
own Lands. This is the turning of the page. Zander and Bitty can do
this but they need your guidance. Please, Little Mo, for me.”

She drew
Little Mo to her and kissed him on the top of his head. “Go on now,
go home. I have other adventures to find. And your place is here.”

Little
Mo blinked back tears and nodded. He watched as the big man pulled
OFG up onto the horse behind him. She looked back once at him, then
turned, and they rode away into the darkness. Begrudgingly Little Mo
turned back to walk home. The moonlight seemed paler and the night
seemed colder. It was a long walk back alone.

Little
Mo silently crossed the Great Hall. The Commander Zander would not
want him as an adviser. Surely he would chose one of his own men.
Little Mo arrived in the Good Land alone, and he would depart as
such. He wondered what would become of him.

A
figured stirred and Little Mo started. “Oh.. I'm... Commander, I am
so sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you.”

Zander
was sitting in OFG's chair on the dais... his elbows on his knees. It
was dark except of the soft light thrown by the braziers. He looked
sullen.

“So
she is gone then?” Asked Zander. Little Mo only nodded.

“I was
just getting my things. I will pack them up and go....” Said Little
Mo.

“Go?
Go where” Zander seemed concerned.

“I
just thought that you would find someone else. I ...” Stammered
Little Mo.

“Someone
else? No.” Zander shook his head. “I don't know the first thing
about administrations, Little Mo. I'm a soldier. I...” He spread
his arms, “I don't even know what we should do tomorrow. I...”

“Well,
I happen to have a list here, Commander...” Little Mo pulled a
scroll out of his sleeve. “I have the schedule here and the duty
roster and...”

“See?
This is why I need you.” Zander smiled appreciatively. “Please
stay on, Little Mo. I really want you to stay. She trusted you and so
do I. Come, let us talk like men.”

Little
Mo bowed low. “Of course, Commander. One thing I think we should
consider, now that she has gone, we should shore up our alliances.
Surely someone will try and test your resolve. I recommend we
immediately send word to have a Counsel.”

“Agreed.
I should meet with Bourbon of the Red, the old bastard. My mother
regarded him as her own brother. But I never cared for him. Do you
know that he once chucked my chin when I was a pup?”

Little
Mo looked surprised, “You don't say.”

“It's
true. I showed him my teeth, yes, I did. He is still probably
terrified.” Zander and Little Mo laughed a little.

Little
Mo crossed his arms and thought. “Well, she cannot go to see her
own brother, Henri the Bold, in the Land of the Ocean's Tide.. you
know well of 'The Troubles”... so not there. But there are rumors
she has a sister in the Land of Ever Summer. She is said to be fair
haired and the Mother of Many. Apparently she leads a band of warrior
maidens.”

“A
sister?” Exclaimed Zander, “By the heavens can you imagine two of
them?” He shook his head chuckling.

Zander
and Little Mo glanced at each other, grinning. Then the slightest
look of pain crossed their faces. The both nodded to each other
knowingly. Then Little Mo and Commander Zander got up and started to
make their way across the dimly lit Great Hall.

“Onward,
then?” Asked Zander.

“And
upward.” Said Little Mo.

The
scene faded to black, then opened again. This time outside a small
house in the rural Ohio countryside. Two people were busily loading
the last of the boxes and tools onto a huge, black, Greyhound style
bus. The big man got in the driver' seat and started the engine –
the bus roared to life.

“We
are ready for action!” He said to her. “Almost done?”

“I
dunno, I feel like we are missing someone. Let's do a tail check...
one, two....” She started counting an unusually large number of
cats in cages line up along the walls of the bus. She got distracted
and looked up. “Hey honey, does this big ol' bus have a name?”

“Nope.”
He said. “And it's not going to have one either. Do you know why?”

She went
back to counting cat butts, “Huh?”

“So we
can say that..... we've been thru the desert on a bus with no
name...” He started singing, “It felt good to be out of the
rain...In the desert you can remember your name...”

She
suddenly ran into the house and came about out carrying a huge gray
cat in a too-small carrier who was loudly protesting. “We almost
forgot Nicholas!”

“Don't
forget the Nicholas, baby!” He laughed.

Nicholas
yowled his discontent. But now they were all loaded. The bus had all
the seats taken out of it and was converted into a kind of Noah's
Ark. It was filled with dogs and cats all securely in the places for
The Long Drive.

“So,”
Said the woman, “We are just gonna drive away from our life here.
Just take all our people and go?”

“Yep.”
He said. “We are pointed in the direction of adventure.” He
looked at her, “You OK, baby?” He said putting his hand on her
arm.

“I'm
just thinking of everything that happened. We had a lot of good times
here in this good land... and we got a lot of good friends here.”
She said gesturing to the bus full of cats and dogs. “I guess we
are leaving some behind too.” A tear welled in her eye.

“My
old lady cats, your good ol' girl Shady, Grumpy old Teddi...and...”
She stopped herself and tried to refocus. “I just...Wow. We've
lived a whole life here.” She wiped the tear away and made herself
smile. “But it's time to go and do something different.”

“So..
onward then?” He asked.

“And
upward.” She said.

For the
last time she walked out to the gate, opened it, let the the huge bus
roll passed, closed the gate, and then hung up a sign.

She
hurried to the door of the bus and climbed in and exclaimed,
“Ohmigosh, who has the toots?!? Is it dogs? Do dogs have toots? Oh
boy.. this is going to be a long drive. Are we there yet?”

“Ha
ha.” Said the man and he checked his mirrors one more time.

The bus
pulled out of the drive and headed in the direction of adventure.
Dogs barked, cats screamed, and the two people laughed.

Back on
the gate a sign read, “The End.”

And
that, friends, is The End of the Adventure Tails.

Editor's note: Friends, as you know there is always some truth in our Adventure Tails - we call them "Not Entirely Fiction" for a reason. We here have received some devastating news. I'll provide the "what really happened" tomorrow. I know that there are a lot of questions and they will be answered. Until then, thank you for your loving support.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

“Did
you look in Commander Zander's quarters?” OFG asked as she was
standing, leaning over her desk.

“Yes,
of course, Sir.” Said Little Mo.

“Did
you look under his bed?” She asked more fervently.

“Yes,
of course, Sir.”

OFG
harrumphed and began pacing. “For heaven's sakes, how hard could it
be to find her! Have you gotten an update from the scouts?”

“Not
since the last time you asked... which was exactly five minutes ago.”
Little Mo looked at her, unblinking. He was seated at his stool
just in front of his liege's desk. He was reviewing reports and
getting his lists ready for the next day... and trying not to be
frustrated by OFG's frustration.

Just
then Kai burst into the room, OFG's Inner Chamber. “So, what's this
now? She is missing again?” Kai had a bit of cheeky tone and was
smiling much too widely to be actually concerned. “Did you check
Zander's quarters?”

“Yes.”
Said OFG and Little Mo together. OFG harrumphed again and started
pacing. Again.

“She'll
be back. Bitty is probably just playing with her potato somewhere.
She always comes back.” Kai threw herself down in one of the chairs
and picked up a mug of strong broth. She gulped it down, wiped off
her mouth, and said, “She always comes back.”

Another
report was handed to Little Mo and then the page hurried out of the
room.

“Nothing
yet, Sir.”

The
small room had more people in it than normal... OFG, the Princess
Kai, Little Mo, some pages, runners, some of OFG's personal guard....
and then Col Ti stalked in. He looked annoyed and shot OFG a glance.
She looked surprised, smiled, and then said, “Really? When?”

The
corners around Col Ti's mouth tightened and OFG laughed.

“So
soon?” She asked out loud. Col Ti, shot her another angry look,
then stalked to take up his position near her. He always watched over
OFG regardless of who was actually on guard. He stood silently.
Watching.

The
secret language between OFG and Col Ti had vexed Little Mo since the
first day of his duties at OFG's side. How on earth did she expect
him to know what was going on if the ruler of the Good Land and her
First In Command spoke is silence and glances? Only heaven knew what
this surprise was going to be. Little Mo stared hard to Col Ti.
Nothing. No discernible means of communication whatsoever.

“Kai,
sweetheart, I have a surprise for you.”

Kai
brightened and turned toward her mother, “What?”

“You'll
see... soon.” OFG said still smiling.

The door
to OFG's sleeping quarters which adjoined her Inner Chamber, creaked
open slowly and a very groggy Bitty stumbled out rubbing her wide
eyes and shuffling her little feet.

“What's
going on?” She asked with a big stretch.

All eyes
turned to Bitty in shock...and then an eruption of questions and
scoldings. Kai started laughing.

“Bitty!
Where have you been? I have riders out looking for you!” OFG was
mad. But not too mad, Bitty was kind of cute ...shuffling along in
her stretch.... she was a funny little thing. But naughty for hiding
again.

Kai
raised her eyebrows and muttered, “I told you.....” Kai casually
threw one leg over the arm of her chair and started swinging it in
mock annoyance.

“For
heaven's sakes! Call back the riders, Little Mo, and tell the men to
stand down.” Ordered OFG.

“Bitty!
Have you been sleeping under my bed? Do you have one of your
little piles of hidden food there? Is that why I have been dreaming
of chicken?” OFG scolded. Now she was mad. They had yet to break
Bitty of her bad habit of hiding food away. And hiding. “What have
I told you about.....”

OFG
turned her attention... A big man walked thru the door.

“Father!”
Cried Kai and she raced across the room and threw herself into his
arms. OFG smiled as she watched her Princess daughter, one of the
most deadly fighters in the Lands hop around and squeal in excitement
at seeing her father. Kai was chattering to him, and hugging him, and
giving kisses on his cheek.

It was
clear he had been traveling a great distance. Little Mo hurried
toward the man to take his pack, to ask if he needed anything? Little
Mo shoo'd away a page to bring strong ale and a platter of food. Satisfied Little Mo returned to his place to record the return of the big man. He took out a scroll and pen. The
room was swirling with excitement. In the midst of it Little Mo
caught sight of Bitty.

Bitty
was standing alone, unnoticed, her wide eyes were huge and her face
in shock. She was mouthing something but no words came out. Tears
brimmed in her eyes... “Pa...... Pa....” Little Mo could hear the
faint words and his jaw dropped in amazement.

“Papa....”
Bitty said in barely a whisper.... “Papa...”

Little
Mo dropped his pen and scrolls. Eyes turned to see what he was
looking at.... conversation stopped.

The
smallest voice was finally heard by all, “Papa?” Bitty reached
her arms toward the big man like a child.

Kai
turned to see what everyone was looking at and heard Bitty call the
man, “Papa.”

“No!”
Snarled Kai, “This is not your father! This is my father! He is MY
father!”

The big
man was transfixed by Bitty standing there, her arms toward him, big
tears rolling down her face. He shrugged off his cloak and started to
walk past Kai...

“NO!”
Screamed Kai savagely and she rounded as if she was protecting her
father. “No! This is my father! Stay away from him! Bitty, you
minx! Liar! This is my father! I should kill you for your lies!”

But the
big man kept walking toward Bitty.

The
shock in the room that was a stunned silence now turned to alarm.
What if Kai killed Bitty in a rage? Col Ti was the first to spring to
action. He hurried across the room and caught Kai in his arms, held
her tight to his chest, and hustled her out the door.

“Lock
the door behind me!” Col Ti ordered one of the men at arms. Others
had joined Col Ti in trying to subdue the Princess Kai but she was as
an enraged wild animal screaming in fury and threatening death.

The door
slammed shut.

Silence.

“Papa.”
Bitty was crying. The big man was standing over her now and looking
down at her with gentle eyes. He reached down and picked her up and
laid her on his shoulder. “Papa..... I.... I thought you were a
dream.”

Bitty
heaved big sobs, exhausting herself with emotion. The big man came
back. Her Papa finally came back. After all these years, all this
time, she thought she made up the memory of a big man leaving her
there in the middens so long ago. The last thing he said was that she
would be safe there and that he would come back. She stopped
believing it a long time ago.

And now she was here in her new life, surrounded by friends who loved her...and her own Papa had come back for her. Here in the Good Land. She had everything she ever wanted.

The big
man put an enormous hand on her head to comfort Bitty. “Child.”
He said, claiming her as his own.

Bitty
hung on his shoulder like a small doll, sobbing softly, and saying
over and over... “Papa... Papa...”

Little
Mo realized his mouth was still hanging open. He was trying to piece
it together but...but.. the line of succession! It had to hold.
Zander was the chosen one. He was the appointed one who would rule the Good Land
next.. unless this was some kind of power
grab? But why? Who would try and overthrow OFG?

His
liege. Little Mo blanched and then swallowed hard. That man, that big
man was her mate but OFG was not Bitty's mother. That man then...
he..... Then it occurred to Little Mo that in all the time Bitty was
here... the big man had not been around. This was the first time he
saw them together in the same room. And now he was Bitty's father? It was all
too much.

“Oh
no.” Thought Little Mo.

How is
OFG going to react? Would she strike at that man? Cast him out? Try
and kill him for this obvious betrayal? Or would he try and take the
throne for himself? Would that big man try and establish a new line
with Bitty as the next ruler? Would....

Little
Mo glanced around nervously. Col Ti had left the room. What if the
big man tried to kill OFG? What if there was blood to be spilled? She was unprotected.

Little
Mo put his hand on his dagger and resolved to himself, “Then I will
fight for her. I will fight for my liege and I will die for her.”
He nodded to himself.

Little
Mo never liked the big man. He was too tall, too dark, and too
brooding. In truth Little Mo was afraid of the big man. But if that
man were to try and kill his liege then Little Mo would find the
courage and he would fight and die for her. He held his breath and
waited to see what was going to happen next.

“So,”
Said OFG quietly. She started to cross the room toward them. Her
boots on the hard stone floor was the only sound. The big man was
still holding Bitty on his shoulder, patting her gently.

“Your
own child, right here, right under my nose this whole time?” OFG
chuckled.... “I should have known. I just knew there was something
about her. She is a pip that is for sure. I should have known...”

OFG had
reached the big man and he had stretched out his arm and pulled her
close. The three of them stood together. OFG put her head on his
chest and a hand on Bitty lovingly.

“This
little Bitty. I should have known.....” Said OFG chuckling to
herself.

Nothing
else in life could have shocked Little Mo any more than this turn of
events. He stood agog, his hand still on his dagger watching the
scene with absolute shock. His mouth was still open. His liege was
not going to kill the big man. There would be no death. He shook his
head a little trying to make sense of all of it.

There
was a ruckus in the hallway and a loud and familiar voice was
yelling, “Kai! Kai! What are you doing? No - settle down. What is
going on? Ouch! Kai! What is the matter with you? What do you mean
you are leaving!?!”

Commander
Zander ordered the men guarding the room aside, “Open this door
right now or I shall kick it down and the rest of you with it!”
The door was unbolted hurriedly and Zander angrily slammed the door
open, came into the room, and stopped short.

His
mother, the big man, and Bitty were all standing in the middle of the
room. Hugging. Bitty was crying.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

The
frozen ground crunched beneath OFG's feet as she paced the courtyard.
The accursed winter had lasted longer than anyone expected. A false
spring had teased but now the wind whipped and the cold settled
across The Good Land.

The sun
had set not long ago and purple streaked the skies. She shouldn't
worry but she did. The Princess Kai was one of the finest fighters
that the Lands had ever seen but it was a mother's prerogative to
worry about her young. And so OFG paced and waited for her daughter
to return. Kai could be reckless. Impulsive. The Princess left with
her men at arms early in the day and still had not returned.

In the
coming darkness a small figure hurried across the way, catching OFG's
eye.

“Bitty!
Is that you? What have you there?” Called OFG. The small figure
stopped, clutched something to her chest, paused, and then
begrudgingly turned toward OFG.

“Nothing.”
Said an unconvincing voice.

“Bitty,
come here right now and show me your hands.” Said OFG. At least
Bitty was wrapped in one of her new cloaks and was wearing good
boots. It was a struggle to keep their wild little one appropriately
clothed and shod. Bitty was not used to living with people even after
these many months.

“Let
me see.” Said OFG. Bitty pulled her hands from under her cloak and
some chicken bones clattered to the ground. “Bitty... have you been
scavenging again in the trash piles?”

Bitty
hurried to answer, “No...but... yes... I mean... look! There is
still some good meat on these and we shouldn't be wasteful and we
might be able to....” Her voice trailed off under OFG's
disapproving glare.

“What
does the Old Wisdom say about leaving generously for the gleaners,
Bitty?” Asked OFG trying to temper her annoyance. Bitty had not
stopped her habit of stealing away food and hiding it. They found
unclean and ruined little piles of her scrap stores all over. It was
getting to be a problem.

Bitty
harrumphed and gave in. “That we should leave extra for the
unfortunate and....” She honestly could not remember the rest.

“And
those who cannot ask for our help.” Finished OFG. “Bitty, we are
about to have Evening Meal – there will be plenty of food and you
do not need to take from those who need to glean. Do not be selfish,
Bitty.”

When
Bitty lived on the middens it never occurred to her that someone with
so much wealth would leave generous scraps for someone like her. She
drew her eyebrows together thinking about it. Could it be true that
someone cared for her then? Someone who didn't even know her? She was
used to only looking out for herself. She did not think it was
selfish but rather just survival.

OFG
watched Bitty try and piece it all together. “Now off with you,
Bitty, go and sit at my table. Tell Lucky HouseMaster that I said to
bring you an extra portion and then you can think about how you want
to use it. You can squirrel it away to be wasted or you can take the
best portions and leave the rest for someone else. Now off with you
or I shall box your ears.”

Bitty
scampered away. She didn't really think that OFG would box her
ears.... but she didn't want to take any chances.

“Sir!”
Called the century from the watchtower. “They are coming!”

“At
last.” Muttered OFG under her breath. As she turned toward the
Great Hall she hear Kai's laughter on the wind. It wouldn't do for
Kai's men to see OFG out there like an old mother hen, fussing over
her daughter's return. By the time OFG reached for the door she could
clearly hear their merry banter.

“No!”
Protested Kai in an easy tone, “I will! I will honor the wager! You
won...you did!” Her men scoffed and joked and then Kai laughed and
said, “I will! I will serve you as much bloodwine as I can carry!”
More laughter.

“We
can drink a lot of wine!” Said someone.

“Then
I shall serve you a lot of it!” Laughed Kai.

A
clattering of hooves and feet filled courtyard as the tired band of
warriors made ready for the night.

OFG was
already seated at her table on the dais, with Bitty seated at her
left, when Kai and her men entered the hall. Kai had removed her
armor, tiara, and weapons and was in just a light shift. Her face was
dirty but she was laughing. She was trailing behind her men and being
far too over dramatic when she gestured and called to the barman for
“The largest tray, filled with the largest cups of bloodwine!”

One of
her men, clearly enjoying the jest, called to her, “This way,
Wench! When the tray is full, of course!” The company burst into
ruckus laughter. Kai half curtsied to them, shouldered the enormous
tray, and followed along calling out, “As you wish, Commander!”

All the
fighters in The Good Land loved the Princess Kai – especially those
in her own ranks. She was brave, fearless, and never asked anyone to
do anything she herself would not. The men adored her...and more than
that they all respected her. She could best any man in The Great
Hall, save her brother of course, and she was utterly devastating in
battle. She was fair in her judgment and true to her word. If she had
wagered her men and this was her penalty then she would fulfill that
obligation gladly... and they would love her more for it.

There
happened to be a pair of travelers that night in the Great Hall. From
time to time men like them would come to pay their respects to OFG
and offer their services as guides, huntsmen, or fighters. OFG kept
some of them on but mostly these drifters were just that. They lacked
the iron strong discipline of her fighting forces.... and besides who
could trust a man who fought for money? They were just passing by.
These travelers could exchange work for provisions or trade for
goods. All were welcome as long as they kept the law and traditions
of The Good Land.

This
man, a rogue of no good character, sat at the end of one of the many
long tables in the Great Hall. All around were the soldiers and
fighters sworn to OFG. The rogue sat muttering and complaining to his
companion about the wealth of this liege of theirs... that woman who
commanded them all. His companion, a small thin man of no note, just
nodded and stared into his cup. They had been there for some time.
Drinking. And muttering.

“Now
there's a lass.” Said the companion jerking his sharp chin over the
rogue shoulder. “Aye...she's a pretty one.”

Behind
them Kai's men at arms continued to joke and jibe at the
Princess-turned-serving-wench, “Keep up now, Wench! That tray isn't
too heavy for you now, is it?” Laughed the leader of them. He was
young and handsome. His coat was a dark silver-pewter. His name was
Augustus. “And don't spill anything!” The soldiers laughed again.

In
truth, the tray of drink was heavy but Kai shouldered it well. They
had won the wager and she was a good sport. She walked behind them
and good-naturedly took their jibes, laughing them off and playing
along. All of them would die in her service and she knew it. This
little fiction, her serving them, had been won in the field. She
drove her men with determination so it was nothing for her to play
along. They deserved it.

From her
dais OFG watched the Princess Kai with interest. Kai was always doing
something outlandish so this was nothing new. A game perhaps.
Normally any of the warriors would be honored to bring her a cup or
serve her food. This turn about of roles thrilled the men.

The
Princess Kai's build was very powerful. On the battlefield she could
be mistaken for a man. But she was quite feminine when she was
relaxed as she was now. With her shining eyes and mirthful grin here
in the Great Hall she lit up the room. She was the Shining Light of
the Realm. Even with her dirty face and without the symbols of her
status Kai was quite regal. She was beautiful.

Kai
naturally rolled her hips when she walked. Some found it.... alluring
but none would cast a wayward glace least Kai's grin turned to snarl
and hell befell anyone who thought to put his hands on her. It was
known. Except to this rogue.

No one
will know if it was the drink or the jealousy of the treasures of the
Good Land that caused the rogue to make such a dreadful mistake. But
as the Princess Kai walked passed his table he reached out... and
grabbed her bottom.

Kai's
yelp of surprise filled the Great Hall.

Immediately
a deafening silence filled the air. Then the scraping of benches and
chairs being pushed back and those who were close scrambled to get
out of the way. Some serving ducks raced to take the tray from the
Princess. It required four serving ducks to carry and even then they
struggled. Fear encouraged them to make haste.

“Colonel
Ti,” Said OFG, flatly, from her seat on the dais, “Please take
Bitty to get a closer look.”

“Sir.”
Her First In Command nodded.

OFG then
turned to Bitty, “You will see how Kai handles her honor.”

Bitty
got up and followed obediently but muttered, “I don't see what is
the big deal, he just patted her on the bottom....”

Col Ti
heard all things and so he turned to her and replied sharply, “That
man's lack of respect brings dishonor, Bitty. If you want to be taken
seriously then you need to BE someone who is taken seriously. She
cannot let this go unanswered. What are you if you do not stand up
for yourself? Do you think anyone would pat my bottom?” He glowered
down at her.

Bitty
tried not to shrink back and just shook her head.

“No
one would ever want to pat his bottom.” She thought.

“And
further,” Col Ti continued, “It is not wise to manhandle the
Princess Kai as some have found out. But more importantly we do not
allow such indignities in The Good Land. All are safe here. Even the
least among all of them.” He said pointing to the crowd.

“Do
you think that someone who cannot fight or who has a lower station
should be treated so poorly - without respect? Who are we if we allow
others to be mistreated? Discipline. Courage. Respect. These are the
values of The Good Land and we defend these.” He stared hard at
Bitty and then walked on.

Bitty
hurried to keep up. She never really liked Col Ti. He was as hard as
the angles in his face, gruff, and only ever seemed to like OFG. He
also scolded her and made declarations like, “Be on time for
morning maneuvers, Bitty.” Or, “Stop fussing and stand at
attention, Bitty.” And of course, “Stop playing with that potato,
Bitty.” He was much to coarse for her. She wished Zander was there
but he was away on patrols.

Not only
did Zander never scold her – The Commander Zander always laughed at
her jokes, loved to watch her dance, and always let her ride on his
shoulder. As it was Bitty had to run to keep up with Col Ti's swift
steps.

Col Ti
abruptly stopped and cleared his throat. Immediately those in front
of him cleared a path to the scene. He took up a wide stance and
crossed his arms over his massive chest. Bitty scowled.

“Col
Ti? I.... I can't see.” Said Bitty. If Zander were here he would
put her on his shoulder but Bitty doubted Col Ti would do that.
Instead Col Ti reached down, picked her up, and placed her on the
nearest table. She could see now. Not that it mattered. The Princess
was just standing there. The man and his companion were looking
around trying to gauge what was happening.

Suddenly
Princess Kai turned to him, a laughing grin and a glint her her eye.
She stood, coyly, on one hip and blinked at the rogue.

“What
is she doing?” Asked Bitty.

“Playing
with her food.” Replied Col Ti without looking at her. Bitty
shivered.

The man
looked around nervously. “What's this?” He said, “What is
this?”

The
serving ducks had all but disappeared and the nearby fighting men had
backed away. The rogue noticed that some, who all seemed to be
wearing the same insignia, had formed a perimeter. One though, a
younger fighter, in a silver coat was standing nearby.

The
young fighter had unsheathed his sword and was holding it loosely in
his hand. He then spun it by it's tip on the floor, chuckling, and
grinning as if he knew some secret joke. The sound filled the hall,
metal on stone.

“You
there!” Said the rogue angrily, “You! Tell me the meaning of
this! What is so funny?”

At that
Augustus threw back his head and laughed out loud. The Princess Kai
continued to stand, grinning at the man. Intentionally she slowly
shifted her weight to her other hip and then narrowed her eyes at
him. The man started to panic now and looked around for help. He was
getting none.

“What?
What! What... is this wench something to you? Is she under your
protection?” Demanded the rogue who's companion had disappeared
into the crowd.

Augustus
just shook his head, started to turn away from the rogue, and took
some steps toward the perimeter. He swung his sword so it laid
casually over his shoulders. He held the grip in one hand the blade
in the other.

The
rogue was astounded. This young soldier was completely open to
attack! His back turned, holding his sword like a walking stick.....
and worse, the young soldier continued to laugh.

“If it
wasn't for the band of men around him,” the rogue thought, “I
could surely take this young dandy and teach him some manners.” He
wondered how he could get the young fighter alone. The young fighter
was now shaking his head, his back still turned.

“No,”
Said Augustus casually, “She is not under my protection...”
Augustus turned toward the man and looked him directly in the eyes,
“I am under hers.”

The
rogue whipped his head back and stared in terror at Kai. It all
seemed to come together for him. It could not be - this must be some
terrible mistake. Could this really be the most deadly she-fighter in
The Lands? The one who commanded legions of fighters and destroyed
her enemies? The BearKiller herself?

He
looked closely at the wench now and could see beyond her dirty face
and unkempt appearance... he had heard the Princess was beautiful but
he would have never guessed she would dress as a servant. It didn't
make sense, his world spun under his feet.

“You...
you can't mean..” He was stammering now and trying to back away but
could not get his feet under him. “You are... you are the
VengeanceBringer?”

His last
words were barely a whisper.

When it
was over Col Ti walked Bitty back to her place at OFG's side. The
brutality of the thing left Bitty stunned. She sat quietly not
knowing what to think. The night's activity returned to the Great Hall, the Princess Kai had gone off with her men, and the serving ducks were cleaning up a terrible stain on the floor. No one would mourn that rogue. The story would be told... and no one would dare such a thing again.

“Life
is hard, Bitty.” Said OFG, “It is harder if you are a fool. You
are not a fool but you must understand the Way of Things. If you
continue to sit at my table, to be at the Commander Zander's right
hand, then you must learn these thing. Hard things. All of your actions
must be to defend The Good Land. Always.”

Bitty
sat thinking of these things. She did not know if she ever wanted to
be among the rulers. She was just Bitty - and only just recently named at that.
She was no one. She never thought of being “at Zander's right
hand.” But … maybe that is exactly what she was now. Bitty sat
thinking of these things for a long time.

Monday, August 8, 2016

I have a very fun friend who has extremely funny sayings. My favorite was when their dog was kind of naughty and they said that he "was having a large day." It's a good way to describe it. When Kai is being a toot we say she is having a "large day."

So several days later I was in town talking to some gals that I only kind of know. We were all standing around watching folks flock to the back of a truck to buy sweet corn. The farmers were selling tons and tons of it and so we were talking about the 'best' way to fix it. There are a million different ways to prepare corn on the cob.

I was thinking about the fun way my friend had described grilling corn and so I said, "Well all's you gotta do is grill that corn nekkid."

Both gals whipped their heads around and looked at me in shock, mouths open. I realized the error of my ways.

"No, no, no... I mean the corn is nekkid... not you."

The teetering began.

"What kind of farm are you running, OFG?" Asked one of the gals.

"NO! I mean..."

It was over. You know how sometimes a gaggle of gals will get to laughing and then go directly in scream-laughing? Yep. That was us. Almost to the point of tears. We were hanging off each other. Everyone was looking but we didn't even care.

So to clarify... how to grill corn on the cob:

Just put it on the grill. As is. Nothing else.

1. Go and get the freshest corn you can. NOT from the grocery store. Stop at a roadside stand and buy it a dozen for $3.

2. Heat up the grill.

3. Shuck that corn.

4. Place the corn directly on the grill.

5. When it starts to get a little color on it, give the cobs a quarter turn. This takes about 3 minutes. Do this until it's nice and done. A little char doesn't hurt anything.

Done!

There is no further preparation. You don't need to soak the corn, or grill it in the husk, or whatever. Directly on the (clean) grill. That is it. How easy is that?

Take that freshly grilled corn and butter it. Then take mayo and give it a slather. Next give a little shake of a spicy spice mix (like this one), shake a little Parmesan on it... and most important.... a squeeze of lime.

Did you totally gag? Don't. This is life changing. You will not be able to believe this taste sensation.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I love summer. I love every thing about summer. Today it's hot and I don't even care because it's summer and I love it. (Plus the humidity is lower so it's not so bad) One thing I love about summer? Tomatoes.

How cool is this? Butterfly on a zinnia! What could be more summer like?

Look at it! You know who did it, right? Chickens that's who. I can tell you truly that someone is on their way to glory in a pot of noodles very very soon.

I was mad. Real mad. So mad that I was telling anyone who would listen about my tomato-lovin' chickens. Someone finally listened and they took pity on me. So they gave me this.....

LOOK AT IT!

How hilarious is a big ridiculous tomato of doom? I think it might be the heirloom Gold Medal. I didn't pay attention when they told me what variety it was because I was so filled with tomato glee. They also gave me some perfect ones and a bucket of beautiful cherry tomatoes. I'm set now until my maters are ripe.

So I've been having a tomato-rrific day... despite those chickens and their tomato killing ways.

About Me

In my previous life I was a fussy, type-a tech gal..and now.. now here I am in the flyover zone on a farm. I gave up my Big Life and I became a tiller of the soil, a keeper of the flocks, and a hater of pigs.

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