Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Today Gestating Cinco had an ultrasound. It’s her way of
making sure that even though she’s fifth in this chaos, she’s getting her full
share of attention. I learned a couple
of things; first, if the technician labels something as “frontal horns”, it’s
not a bad thing. Despite what your imagination might tell you. Also, Gestating Cinco’s brain development is
measuring almost twelve days behind her legs. I asked the technician if that
meant she was a blond. He didn’t know what to say.

Catholics have rituals. It’s what we do. We have special
rituals throughout the year, being Lent, one of our rituals is Stations of the
Cross. A few years ago, three actually, I summarized my attempts at
participation in the Stations. And seeing as I am in meetings tonight, I will
simply reshare my experiences.

A Mother’s Stations of the Cross.

1) Mac refuses a booklet to follow along with.

2) Mac decided he must have a booklet to follow along with
and only Baby’s will do.

3) Baby weeps for the first time.

4) Baby has to go to the bathroom for the first time.

5) Mac has to go to the bathroom....for the first time.

6) Mac falls off the pew for the third time.

7) Baba sighs because she can't read Alphosus Ligori's
writing.

8) Mac has to go to the bathroom for the second time.

9) Mac makes a break for it for the ninth time.

10) Baba and Baby fight while Mac removes his shoes.

11) Mac pilfers through the purse of the woman in front of
him.

12) Mac has to go to the bathroom for the third time.

13) Baby weeps for the hundredth time over some sort of
viewing dispute involving Baba and a baby. Mac removes a chapel veil from the
gal next to him.

14) Mac shouts "Jesus died" and slams his booklet
down in the pew....and make a tenth break for it.