February 22nd Week in Review

1. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes issue a joint statement that the couple is happily together amid rumor of a breakup.This isn’t like when Cruise “reassigned” his publicist sister then claimed it wasn’t because of his couch jumping antics.

2. John Michael Montgomery arrested under charges of DUI, weapons, and prescription drugs.He pleaded “Not Guilty” but he may be under the Winona Judd-Mindy McCready syndrome.

3. Paris Hilton pelted with flour by PETA demonstrators outside London fashion show.Of all things related to Paris, it was merely the fur they had issue with?

4. Coldplay frontman Chris Martin claims “people are fed up with us and so are we” at Brit Music Awards.Not you personally, Chris, just celebrities who name their children after fruit.

5. Madonna treated for a hernia.Even with the biceps and everything, this doesn’t mean she isn’t female.