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Waiting for the Sun to Shine Again

Writing through grief and loss is not only difficult, but at times, impossible. Toss in health issues and loss of family members, and it’s a recipe for abandonment of not only writing but all normal routines.

I had spent the fall of 2016 working on my current project, a manuscript titled Wheels of Home, but the new year started with annual checkups for both my husband and me. Since specialized medicine has evolved, that’s a lot of doctors’ visits–times two. And if any test numbers were a little “off,” that meant additional appointments and testing.
Also in mid-January, I had health problems that required weekly visits to yet another doctor for ten consecutive weeks, thirty minute daily walks, and other issues. A month later, our beloved fourteen-year-old Maltese dog, Joy, started having health issues too. Two rounds of different antibiotics finally made her better, but then she had other problems and became seriously ill. The vet wanted to keep her in hospital, but I refused to leave her. Therefore, for eight days we had to take her back each morning for three injections, subcutaneous fluids, and force feeding.

I couldn’t write.

I spent all spare time with my best friend. She got better for ten days and then she relapsed. We found out she had a severely enlarged liver (probably cancer), but we refused to put her through chemo treatments at her age. We had a terrible decision to make–whether we wanted to do the humane thing or keep her alive for the two or three months she might live (with a poor quality of life) just because we couldn’t let her go. The choice was heartbreaking. I abandoned all normal routines, including writing, and grieved for my faithful, sweet baby who had given us unconditional love for so many years.

As I write this blog, it has only been nine days since we said goodbye to our best friend. We’re still grieving and would give anything to have Joy back–healthy, of course. Additionally, this is the one year anniversary of the loss of our grandson–on Mother’s Day. Sadness seems to consume us some days.

But I know that God does not put more on us than we can endure, and he is with us through it all. I know that life goes on, and the sun will shine again. While we’ll never forget our losses, through faith and prayers, the good memories will one day let us smile again.

And write again.

Have any of you endured a devastating loss and yet managed to write again?

Linda Robinson, author of six published novels, is a member of her local Writers’ Forum, ACFW, and Scribes. She guest blogs and writes fictional and non-fictional short stories for magazines and contests. Her latest book, a compilation of short stories titled Truth & Southern-Fried Fiction, released in September 2016. Connect with Linda on Facebook and Twitter.

6 Responses to Waiting for the Sun to Shine Again

Yes, Patricia, life is terribly hard sometimes, but we have to hang onto our faith and hope. Like my husband said, “One day we’ll be able to talk about the good memories we hold so dear.” Thanks for commenting.

I hurt and cried with you, dear friend. I pray God’s comfort for you and Bruce. Your story is so sweet,bittersweet because I know what you went through. That’s what is so precious about your writing, it’s real life. You will always have the wonderful memories of Joy and the Joy that she brought to your lives.

Linda, my friend, I’ve cried with you since you lost Joy, and I just did again. It is so hard but does get better with time, lots of time unfortunately. You know about my precious Panda. It’s been 5 1/2 months and I still cry for her. Not as often, and I can now think about her and smile. The sunshine is back, but a cloud creeps in once-in-a-while. I had already stopped writing after only one published book in 2012. When I lost my sister in 2013, that did it for me. You’re situation is totally different from mine. I wrote just because…you write because you love it, and people love to read it. You will definitely get back to it, just give it time. A few weeks isn’t enough when you have lost something so precious. I’m reading, Walking with God, How to Hear His Voice by John Eldredge, a book that my grandson asked me to get for him. It’s very good and I recommend it. You love writing too much to give up on it, so don’t. God will help, he knows your time. I love you, girl.

Oh, Linda, I didn’t know about Joy….I’m so, so, sorry. We’ve said goodbye to many of our dogs over the years, and each one is so painful and sad. People always ask how we can have more dogs, but as you know, the “JOY” they give us for so many years, eventually outweighs the horrible loss. I also completely understand how hard it is to write during seasons of life that seem to envelope and overwhelm us. I’ve had my own issues these past couple of years that have really made it hard for me to write -in my case it seems I can never find enough time. I used to be hard on myself about that -thinking I should be getting up at 4 a.m. or staying up till midnight, but I’m giving myself a pass right now. I write because I love it -and I see the difference in my writing when I’m forcing myself to do it. So -I’m trying to be patient and take solace in the fact that I think God has planned this phase of my life as my time of service. You’ll feel it when you’re ready to be creative again -and in the meantime, please know I’m sending a hug across the miles to you and Bruce..we love you guys!