If I Could be Honest

Sometimes there are things I want to say. People I would like to spill my heart to, my feelings to. Sometimes I say them.

Sometimes I don’t. I think them and I want to say them but I don’t.

Until I met Sarah. She seemed to nice in the beginning but every once in a while she would just tell me something I don’t want to hear. We were best friends and one day she told me, “Your hair really isn’t that nice, Samantha.”

I laughed it off but then I looked in the mirror that night and wondered if she was right. If my hair really didn’t look that good? I couldn’t decide if she was right.

Eventually, I asked a few of my friends who would tell me the truth as well and they said, in nicer words, that they thought I had “features that were great but my hair wasn’t one of them.”

I realized that maybe it would’ve have been nice to know that earlier. I think I would have appreciated knowing that I wasn’t just super pretty all the time like my friends told me. Maybe Sarah was right.

She eventually left for college and we parted ways. She told me straight up, “I really like being your best friend but distance isn’t going to work.”

I was sad but she was right. I made new friends and so did she. I’m a model now, so it really did work out. But now I know what I should spend more time on (my hair) as I’m preparing.

And I appreciate it. I like knowing that there is something I can work on and I like knowing exactly what Sarah thought of me.

So when I talk to people, I try and tell them what I think. It’s not always easy being honest but at the same time it feels clean. They probably should know my feelings and what I think, just like Sarah always used to tell me.