This is a blog of news and essays aimed toward gay Mormons who wish to hold the Priesthood of God honorably (Men) or to remain active members of the LDS Church (Men or Women), their family and friends, or anyone who has questions about what it is to be a faithful Mormon, or a Mormon questioning... and gay.

Friday, March 18, 2016

I have been cringing for a half an hour since I read about the gay teen who was sent to a therapy center (?) to have the gay beat out of her. And get this: She is from a Mormon family. Just when I think that all the stupid has been wrung out of the body of the LDS church, something like this hits the news.

First of all, I feel for this poor girl and applaud the person who told her "get thee to a lawyer". Standing against a wall with a bag of rocks? What the...? And I support everything this girl says about conversion therapy needing to be eliminated. Buried. Placed into a large red balloon and allowed to float off into wherever.

Her experience with her parents? Completely pointless to tell a child that they choose their sexuality and that they chose wrong.

Morons. Is that too harsh?

This girl is coming out with a book that details her eight-month-long experience with so-called “conversion therapy” at a residence in southern Utah. So, the first thing I think is that I hope, for humanity's sake, that this story has been exaggerated. Even if it has, at the core is a problem that should be publicized. Gay kids are being abused in the name of religion. Mormon religion, if you happened to miss it at first reading. I didn't, which is why I am still cringing.

What was she doing at this treatment center/house/level of hell, you ask? Because her Mormon parents sent her there after she came out as gay, says a KUTV report.

This girl called what was done to her (rocks in a backpack, physical abuse, and other crap) a practice that was "exhausting and humiliating" that needs to stop.

"It's like sending you to therapy to change your eye color," she said in an interview Tuesday Channel 2 news. “It’s not going to work. What it's going to do is damage you."

Eventually, the teen was allowed to attend high school and through a fellow gay student was eventually able to contact an attorney in Salt Lake.

The official stance of the LDS church, through spokesman Eric Hawkins (who I have in my frequent contacts on my phone these days) is this:

"The Church denounces any therapy that subjects an individual to abusive practice," said LDS spokesman Eric Hawkins.

"We hope those who experience the complex realities of same-sex attraction find compassion and understanding from family members, professional counselors, and church members."

And in this case particularly, members of the LDS church are saying, once they are able to un-cringe, GO GIRL! We love you and wish you the best and we don't care about your sexual preference. The Savior loves you and we do, too. And those that don't shouldn't be in your life.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

When I was younger and skinnier I used to dream that I was invisible and because of that I could go anywhere I wanted to go without being seen.

The first place I thought about going as an invisible being was a men's locker room. After a couple of months with that scenario, I moved onto visiting a bank on equally a regular basis, but those were always one/two.

At different times, everyone has
a different idea of heaven

So, is this a dream come true? I am a gay Mormon man and by being such am I invisible or am I just a nothing?
I ask because I am here. Here is my hand and it's attached to the rest of me. I do exist. Saying that there are no gays in the Mormon church is misguided at best.

Glibness aside, the doctrine that was stated last week in a relatively obscure conference (and I know it will become doctrine) validated what I have always felt to be true. I have even spent much of the last five years writing a book with that concept at its core.

The reason a general authority in the LDS church said that there are no gays in the LDS church is because gay or bi or anything that is not "Man/Woman" is a state that does not exist in heaven and didn't exist in the preexistence -- which explains the reason for Mormons to hold onto the Proclamation on the Family as a standard.

Based on that new (old?) information, a same-sex marriage could be performed here on earth, and when the next life came around, the couple would be mismatched. No sarcasm or cynicism -- just a mismatch.

However, if one experiences gay feelings from one's birth -- as I do and have done -- it's hard to imagine that things could be any different. I am gay, and I am a Mormon. If one has ever had these feelings or acted on them and has created relationships based on one's homosexuality, then it will feel as if one's very foundation is being ripped out from under one.

The general authorities have always stated that homosexuality didn't quite fit in the church -- if "fit" is the right word. They didn't always have the answers as to "why", and the speculation around the topic was sometimes comical. Regardless, they have always said "no".

Let's open this up a bit, because you may remember my saying that I am gay and I am a Mormon which seems to contradict what Elder Bednar said: Alcoholism is not a state that existed in the pre-existence, yet there are alcoholics in the LDS church. Depression is not something that was a part of our lives in the world that was before we came here, but look around you. Abuse was not something that happened in the pre-existence, yet there are abused and the abusive here on earth -- and in the LDS church. There are many conditions here on Earth that did not exist in the life before we came to Earth and will not exist in the after-life.

There exist here on earth conditions and possibilities that were brought on by our allowing Heavenly Father to send us to Earth in all imperfection to make choices and to be tried and tested.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is given to man as a tool to return to Him. The general authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day are here to guide us with His word, and we are allowed freedoms to act and to choose. The fact of the matter is that our limitations, physical characteristics and challenges do not define our identity -- hence, the comment that there are no gays in the church. We are much more than the proverbial sum of these parts.

BTW, the Gospel was not given to us as an excuse to judge others or place others below us. Anyone who believes that the gospel gives us the authority to put anyone in a predetermined place is mistaken.

God has given His children the ability to overcome earth life and all that separated us from Him. There are things we don't choose. But we can choose to follow the Savior. This latest info from David R. Bednar fits in with that concept, even if it may not have been well thought out.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

I started this blog years ago to support gays in the Mormon church -- because there were gays in the Mormon church and no one seemed to want to acknowledge them. I knew this to be true because, as you may have guessed by now, I am gay and I am in the church.

I thought I'd be the hit of the season, the toast of a town that never toasted. Conservatives would love me because I supported the commandments as laid out by the prophets of God, and liberals would love me because I was gay and had fabulous shoes.There was little love. I thought that I wasn't well-received because I hadn't found my voice, so I just kept writing, and as I wrote I continued to lose friends. I had to pretend that I didn't notice when Facebook friends eliminated me from their accounts. Many didn't want to hear what I had to say.Had I been a celebrity or a political figure, or rich and pretty, things may have gone over better. Rich ain't going to happen and pretty is relative. I am just a normal gay guy in the church who has had problems in his life and knows what it feels like to have to repent in a large way. I will never be any one's poster child.

All I know, and I have been trying to get these several points across for years, is:

God is loving and just

All people deserve respect

Everyone has a place and a purpose

Everyone makes mistakes and has need of the atonement

My viewpoint is just as valid as yours and vice versa.

What I want to say to members of the LDS church is that sinners of all types and ages will never feel comfortable coming to church that passes judgement at the door. To lay claim to a bench and disallow others is a grievous error on our part.What I want to say to gays is that there is a reason that the Lord gave us commandments to follow. The rules apply to everyone who wants to follow God.Yet we still have our agency. Which is the worse sin: Being critical and exclusive, or immoral and disobedient. The answer may be different that you think.

A Reasonable Facsimile

This is not a gay blog!

OK, yes it is. But it is also a Mormon blog and a blog for priesthood men who honor their priesthood and wish to keep the LDS church an active part of their lives. I am all three... four. Five?

I am an active MarMoHo, a married Mormon homosexual. I have a temple recommend that I received honestly. I supportthe LDS church and the words of a living prophet. I support people who are gay. It can be done.

Apology for the ad below

Please forgive me if there is an ad in the space below is inappropriate. I am trying to figure out how to block the ads I don't wish to display. They pay for the ice in my Diet Coke

Cal Thompson

Followers

Gay Mormon men who cherish the priesthood and would like to honor their commitments!

Please be aware of sites on the blog-o-sphere that claim to be sympathetic to the teachings of the prophets. Some very well may be. Others are simple journal entries annotating the experiences of an individual with various degrees of success and or promiscuity. Not all can be as wonderful as mine. I hate to sound like the church lady, but chose your blogs and your friends wisely.

And eat your vegetables.

And Fruits!

About Me

I write under the name of Calvin Thompson. I am a creative, accountable, and loving man. I am a Mormon who is also gay. I am married and have 3 children. My bishop is in-the-know, and so is my wife and several of my close family members. I consider myself to be a closet conservative, which is not as strange or as un-popular as you might think, and will be increasingly popular as a growing number of the left improves it's proverbial and literal aim.
I believe that LDS people are Democrats in action - as in they try to take care of people, but Republicans in name - they want to do it themselves without regulation.
I believe that the messier the fridge, the happier the family, but I still have a hard time not straightening it because I'm a control freak. My wife knows I blog, and that I am writing a book – I try to keep things as above board as I can without setting myself up for public ridicule.

"Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chasitity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage."

I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agreeor Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

Preference,not Principal

Blue shirts, red ties, dark nylon socks...

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.

Mother Teresa

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world