If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

"Let's talk about adverbs in dialogue tags," she said suggestively

Why the massive hate for adverbs in dialogue tags? Can it ever be done "right?"

I'm not talking Tom Swifties ("They had to amputate them both at the ankles," said Tom defeatedly), or about qualifiers that could be turned into stronger verbs ("Said suggestively" from the thread title should be "suggested") but about cases where the adverb actually adds something to the sentence.

For example,

"You know I love you," he said coldly.

is miles away from

"You know I love you," he said softly.

And while I think "softly" could be omitted from the second one, I feel "coldly" adds something to the first example that would be hard to replicate with a different verb or by changing the dialogue.

But anything, anything other than "You know I love you," he said lovingly.

So. Adverbs in dialogue tags. All bad? Or can they work in certain cases?

I'm one of those that thinks some adverbs vs. no adverbs is a matter of style and taste. Personally I like a few adverbs here and there, but I accept that there are some people who don't like any adverbs at all. In any case, I certainly use the occasional adverb to modify a dialogue tag when the distinction is necessary.

"I don't mind when an adverb TELLS the readers how something is said that is direct opposite of what is being said," he said drunkenly.

That said, most adverbs are telling and can be seen as lazy -- a quick and dirty way for the writer to convey something. There's nothing wrong with "he said coldly," but is it possible for the writer to challenge himself and come up with something more vivid? More showing? More unique?

I didn't want to work. It was as simple as that. I distrusted work, disliked it. I thought it was a very bad thing that the human race had unfortunately invented for itself.
-- Agatha Christie

Okay, it's not brilliant, but it gives the reader the sense of cold instead of just saying coldly.

The addition of action is good, and can clarify dialogue to the point that adverbs are extraneous.

But saying something in a "hard voice" isn't the same as saying something "coldly." Just as saying something "softly" doesn't necessarily equate with "quietly."

I'm in favor of lingual precision over a stubborn avoidance of adverbs at all costs.

Adverbs exist for a reason. They're tools of communication. They're not verboten. And twisting your prose into knots just to avoid the dreaded adverb can make the prose just as clunky and tedious as adverbial overindulgence.

More often than not, however, you don't need the adverb if your dialogue and context are clear. Adverbs themselves are not the problem; the writer is. When the writer doesn't trust the story, doesn't make the dialogue work harder, or relies on adverbs to TELL us something that can be done with action or the dialogue itself, over time the readers will sense that the writer is kind of lazy and lame. That's the real pitfall of adverbs, not the occasional use to clarify something.

As writers, we should be allowed to write all the adverbs we want in first draft. However, in rewrites, we need to examine every adverb and adjective to see if they've earned their places in the storytelling, instead of being a crutch or a lazy step.

To me, adverbs are useful when there is absolutely no verbs to describe how something is said ("said softly," for example, which is not the same as "whispered" or "murmured"), or when what is being said contrasts with how it's said: "I love you, too," he said coldly.

Last edited by maestrowork; 12-14-2010 at 01:00 AM.

I didn't want to work. It was as simple as that. I distrusted work, disliked it. I thought it was a very bad thing that the human race had unfortunately invented for itself.
-- Agatha Christie

Let me just say one thing about that approach. It reads okay but it's a bit verbose. Too-much-wordiness, in other words.

Sometimes the word softly, coldly or callously simply works. Sometimes you need to just move the dialogue along. Sometimes the adverb isn't the monster which (some) make it out to be.

I strongly concur with this. Overshowing something that can be conveyed with one word can be distracting, not necessarily more vivid, and are often uses stock imagery. More detailed descriptions of how someone said something are best if they are really unique, and not only convey how someone said something, but something particular about that character. Unless you have a brillant way of conveying it, just...use the adverb.

Although I also think that most of the time even the adverb will be unecessary for dialogue. Trust your reader to interpret the context. Much of the joy of reading is engaging the text, making inferences, and reconstructing the tones and meanings in your own mind. The less the author tells the reader, the more the reader can make their own inferences. The best dialogue also engages with the context and the rhythm of the prose, and leaves room for the reader to hear the tone for themselves.

I put in a lot of adverbs and descriptors when I first write something, but I do it for myself, to help me picture the flow of the conversation, and then I take most out in revision.

When the writer doesn't trust the story, doesn't make the dialogue work harder, or relies on adverbs to TELL us something that can be done with action or the dialogue itself, over time the readers will sense that the writer is kind of lazy and lame. That's the real pitfall of adverbs, not the occasional use to clarify something.

I don't see this, Ray. Most of the 'readers' I know don't consider adverbs to be a problem, and they certainly don't make assumptions about the writer being lazy or lame for using adverbs. They just enjoy the story.

Mea culpa, Jaksen. I do tend to roll eyes and drop eyes. You can say, "He raised his eyes to Heaven," or "She looked down," but I really don't think there's anything wrong with rolling them or dropping them or fixing them on something, any more than with folding arms or curling up in a chair. Or, for that matter, sinking hearts or stomach clutches. You have to have some way to say these things.