Tone

Tone

We know that when it comes to arguments 10% of the conflict is due to our difference of opinion and 90% is due to a disrespectful TONE of voice.

Powerful communicators that we willingly stop to listen to command respect simply because they have mastered the art of a calm and assertive TONE when they speak, coupled with direct eye contact.

The heart has universal TONES that we all recognise like musical notes.

It doesn’t matter what our age, gender or language, when our heart speaks in TONES of love and respect it rings true to other hearts all around the world.

Music is a universal language, and our favourite music is what connects to us on a heart level.

I personally love to listen to Edith Piaf, a French singer. I’ve not a clue what she’s singing, but the content doesn’t matter, as I can feel her beautiful heart speak to mine with every note.

When our head speaks from fact and theory alone, using lines like …

“Well most people or normal people would agree with my view” to validate a point without connection to heartfelt respect the TONE of our voice changes.

We hear shame, passive aggression and disrespect through TONE. Even if all the dialogue is purely factual and not personal. Poor TONE grates on us like an instrument out of tune in an orchestra. It interrupts our ability and desire to want to continue listening.

A disrespectful or heartless TONE is unpleasant to hear for both genders, however, females are far more sensitive to TONE. Females are hardwired to listen for TONE before we listen for facts.

Organic wiring of the female species works with heightened TONAL sensitivity as the child-bearers of the species; we need to understand our newborn’s non-verbal communication via TONE. It’s a survival instinct that stays with us for life. So in communication with females it’s often about TONE first, content second.

Our TONAL notes when speaking regardless of gender indicates whether respect is present or absent. It’s difficult, however, to listen to dialogue as it is to listen to music when it’s not in tune or out of key.

When the heartfelt TONE of respect is absent we won’t be received well. Great communicators have mastered using their heart’s TONAL voice accompanied with the facts.

As Fred Nietzsche reminds us …

“We often subconsciously refuse to accept an idea simply because the TONE of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us”

So let’s be more in tune from this moment onwards with the TONE of our voice when speaking to anyone.

Speaking fluent language of the heart is a disciplined skill that gives us more authority, credibility and empowerment than a head full of clever facts and bulletproof points ever can.