NO LONGER ENCUMBERED BY ANY SENSE OF FAIR PLAY, EX-JOURNALISTS RETURN TO ACTIVE DUTY TO FIGHT THE TRUMPIAN MENACE!

TRUMPLANDIA – JULY 22 – 29, 2017

Welcome to Trumplandia! A place where with a bit of wit and snark, we keep the world caught up on all of the tasty Nuggets-o-Trump you may have heard about, but were too busy to care. Because most of this minutia occurs just below the massive headlines about the POTUS, it’s in a land of its own. Here, an infusion of social media, video clips and print media meld with our outdated political views to make more delicious “Fake News” about our Commander-in-Chief.

So just like the president, we start it all with little Tweet like this:

The Ass-Kicking Sessions

The week of our Trump — JULY 22, 2017 — The week began with our favorite racist barrister, Jeff Sessions, taking an unexpected whooping from the Tweetmeister General, Donald J. Trump. Although it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, the Tweet storm was the beginning of what would be a daily barrage of nastiness from the POTUS, who got mad all over again about Sessions’ March 2017 recusal from the Russian election meddling probe.

Many thought the ongoing salvoes from Trump were a move to force Sessions to resign. The name of Rudy Giuliani came up again like a pesky heartburn as a possible replacement. Because the attorney general remained employed at press time, we are only left with the punishing Trump Tweets that even a troll like Sessions admitted were “kind of hurtful.”

Monday, July 24 began with an 8:49 a.m. tweet where the president questioned why the “beleaguered” Sessions was not looking into losing candidate Hillary Clinton’s “crimes & Russia relations.”

The next day Trump had a three piece for Sessions, who was questioned at 6:03 a.m. for not investigating a failed 2016 effort by Clinton to get harmful information on the Trump campaign from our allies in the Ukraine. Minutes later, at 6:12 a.m. Trump said Session took a “VERY” weak position on Hillary Clinton crimes and then took aim at the acting head of the FBI’s wife allegedly accepting $700,000 in Clinton money from a PAC two years ago.

How these thoughts were allowed to linger for two years before Sessions was hired and former FBI head James Comey was fired is anyone’s guess. But some believe the attacks on Sessions may be a prelude to Trump naming a new attorney general to ultimately fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller, who is investigating the president’s campaign for possible ties to Russian interference.

Any way you look at it, there appears to be an ass kicking of the attorney general in session. Or maybe an ass was kicking Session’s tail? Either way he hasn’t resigned — yet.

I Bought It At Jared

President Trump’s son-in-law and former administrative mime Jared Kushner, was forced to appear before Congress last week in the ongoing Russia investigation. Kushner, who is one of the president’s closest confidants, had been painfully silent since The Donald took office in January.

Earlier this month, the president’s son, Donald Jr., first admitted to the June 2016 meeting with Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya in Trump Tower after saying he never met with ANY Russians. Veselnitskaya, who said she is not tied to the Russian government, has been found to have represented the country’s FSB, which is the successor to the Soviet-era KGB spy service.

The Russian attorney admitted to meeting with Trump, Jr. after his father won the Republican nomination for president. Reports from the “failing” New York Times stated the meeting was called by Trump family friend Rob Goldstone in order for the Russian to turn over government documents on then Democratic challenger Hillary Clinton.

Trump Jr. said the meeting amounted to little and was only about adoption laws than his father campaign. He admitted it included then campaign manager Paul Manafort and his brother-in-law Jared Kushner.

We later learned the meeting with Veselnitskaya was at least to overturn the Magnitsky Act, the Obama era policy that withholds visas and freezes the assets of Russians thought to have violated human rights. The policy is viewed very unfavorably by Russian President Putin, who countered the act by banning the adoption of Russian children by Americans.

It was later learned that the number of people at the meeting grew from five to about eight people and included two advisors. Those advisors turned out to be U.S.-born lobbyist and former Soviet military operative Rinat Akhmetshin, ex-Soviet counterintelligence officer and translator Anatoli Samochornov and Russian developer Ike Kaveladze, who had already been accused of laundering more than $1.4 billion illegally.

Presidential Trump said he had no knowledge of the meeting, which took place in his building just one floor below his office.

On Monday, the Senate Intelligence Committee called Kushner to a closed-door hearing on the meeting as part of its investigation into the alleged meddling by Russia in the 2016 presidential campaign.

What, if anything, the Trump campaign knew or did in regard to the participating in secret meetings with the former Soviet Union still remains to be seen.

Ivanka’s boo, of course told the Senate that he did not collude with Russia.

His secret testimony to the Senate was followed by a less-than-convincing press conference in which he proclaimed: “I did not collude, nor know of anyone else in the campaign who colluded, with any foreign government.”

Well, at least we finally heard him speak.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying it.

LGBT Community Banned From Military Service

Reversing field on what had been a campaign promise to protect the LGBT community, President Trump made U.S. history by banning a community of service members from the military through social media.

In one of his trademark early morning tweets just hours before meeting with the America Legion, Trump surprised most by proclaiming the more than 2,000 transgender service members were somehow too costly to keep in camouflage.

Trump stated that after consulting with his generals and military experts, the U.S. government will not allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military.

He said service must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender people in the military would entail.

The move outraged members of the LGBT community, who took to the streets in protest and no doubt vexed the transgender folks who already are enlisted in the military.

Chelsea E. Manning, perhaps the most well-known, transgender military service person, questioned the move by Trump. Manning, formerly known as a male, Bradley, was a United States Army soldier who was convicted by court-martial in 2013 for spying and leaking classified secrets to Trump favorite WikiLeaks.

Sentenced to 35 years in prison, Manning’s time was commuted to 7-years s by President Barack Obama and was released in May of 2017. Manning fully transitioned to female during imprisonment.

To date, it has not been made clear how Trump will begin his new ban, although the Pentagon did announce it will defer the enlistments of transgender applicants until January 2018.

White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders said the Obama era policy was “expensive and disruptive,” and evidently erodes military readiness and unit cohesion.

During his 2016 campaign Trump, tweeted: “I will fight for you while Hillary brings in more people that will threaten your freedom and beliefs.”

Despite the unnecessary and unexpected change in policy, the move may stand as the first time United States policy was enacted by a president by way of social media.

Boy Oh Boy!

President Trump got his military on this week by first commissioning the largest and newest aircraft carrier in our fleet The U.S.S. Gerald R. Ford in Norfolk, Va. On Saturday, July 22.

In a 17-minute speech that promised billions of dollars of military spending and urged those in attendance to call the GOP Congress and tell them to pass an overhaul bill for the Affordable Care Act. Named for late President Gerald Ford, the $12.9 billion aircraft carrier was built from 2009 to 2015 and is expected to be ready for deployment in four years.

However, the dedication was soon overshadowed by a campaign whistle-stop tour from Orange Julius Cesar that was highlighted by the Monday, July 24Boy Scouts of America Jamboree in West Virginia, and two days later with a reception ceremony for the American Legion at the White House.

However, it was Trump’s rambling and politically charged rally-style presentation during the annual Boy Scouts gala that drew the most scrutiny.

Speaking to more than 40,000 scouts, Trump again touted his November 2016 to the teens, who were too young to vote for him and taunted the “Fake News Media,” which he said would not note the size of the raucous crowd or take note of the event — boy was he wrong.

The event was marked by Trump’s encouraging the young campers to boo former President Barack Obama’s taped address in 2010 and all that political banter focusing on his agenda. Delivered on the same day Attorney General and former scout Jeff Sessions was called “beleaguered,” Trump was flanked by Cabinet members: Energy Secretary Rick Perry; Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke and Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price, all former Boy Scouts.

At one point, Trump told Price he was relying on him to help deliver a Republican victory by ridding the country and 22 million people of federal health care. Price was told (with a chuckle) that if he didn’t get the vote necessary to repeal and replace Obamacare, he’d be “fired.”

It was a real hoot.

Later the mood got more serious as Trump shared stories of his younger days — not as a scout because he never joined — as a young tycoon. He recounted meeting housing innovator William Levitt at a New York cocktail party. Trump said when he met Levitt the builder was downtrodden, and it impacted the young Donald. Trump said he was taken by how broken a man Levitt had become after losing millions and selling his company. Trump didn’t offer the pioneer any financial help, but saw Levitt as a cautionary tale. He passed along his advice to the young scouts so they do not suffer the same fate as Levitt.

“You have to know whether or not you continue to have the momentum, and if you don’t have it, that’s okay,” he told them. “Because you’re going to go on and you’re going to learn and you’re going to do things that are great.”

Evidently none of that future success should include innovating the housing market for thousands of would-be new homeowners — what a loser!

A day later, the Boy Scouts of America distanced itself from Trump’s overtly political remarks, reminding everyone that the Boy Scouts is “wholly non-partisan and does not promote any one position, product, service, political candidate or philosophy.” The organization said inviting Trump was part of a longstanding tradition and not the endorsement of any political party.

Oddly, Randall Stephenson, Boy Scouts president since May 2016 and longtime chairman and chief executive of AT&T, must have forgotten about the $85 billion deal for Time Warner he is trying to pull together for his day job. I’m sure non-partisan thoughts were coursing through his head when Trump came a knocking. I’m sure letting Trump give such a speech would have no impact on whether the proposed merger makes it past review for antitrust with the Department of Justice.

Trump was able to tamp down the many angry responses from Boy Scout parents who resented the faux political rally for teens by holding an event for the American Legion Boys Nation and Auxiliary Girls Nation in the Rose Garden at the White House on Wednesday, July 26. He even mentioned the husband of his Crooked Hillary — Bill, who was the only U.S. president to be a part of the organization.

Scaramucci Wants to Have Sarah Huckabee-Sanders’ Head

Hours after longtime Press Secretary Sean Spicer resigned, President Trump appointed Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director. After introducing himself to the beleaguered press corps, “the Mooch” said he would allow cameras to return to the briefing room and noted that Spicer replacement Sarah Huckabee-Sanders had the look of the day. During an interview with CNN’s Jake Tapper, the former Wall Street banker appealed to Huckabee-Sanders:

“The only thing I ask Sarah, Sarah if you’re watching, I loved the hair and makeup person that we had on Friday. So I’d like to continue to use the hair and makeup person.”

Now that ain’t too bad coming from a guy who looks like a cross between a refugee from the movie, “Wall Street” and a high-priced hairdresser. I guess, contrary to his mission to fire leakers, The Mooch will keep Miss Sarah for now.

I sure hope he didn’t read that post from the Daily Beast reporter who described the daughter of former GOP candidate Mike Huckabee as a “Butch queen first time in drag (sic) at ball.” Wow.

Well at least she’s got the Mooch’s attention. I guess that’s a good thing — right?