Lyric

IntroductionIt’s…A multinational competitionWith a collaborative missionSo much like the Olympics, in a waySure, it’s rather less athleticThough just as energeticMore colourful, and, what’s the word…?– Theatrical…?

We make music, and friends, with ev’ry nationAnd bankrupt the hosting TV station…

Verse 1To help to shore upA post-war EuropeIn nineteen-fifty-six, it all beganThe set, I’m rather certainWas nothing but a curtainThere were only seven countries and one cam’raman

But then it started growing, now Australia’s oursWe’re a big black hole, sucking in all the starsWe’ll take over the world, and then conquer Mars!That’s Eurovision!

Bridge 1It’s an annual celebration of our cultureIt’s the highlight of our yearAnd a vict’ry can sure catapult yaJust look at my career!Yes, so we see:You get to share the stage with me!

For loving Eurovision, I get bullied at schoolBut when we come together, I don’t feel a fool’Cause for one week a year, we’re pretty cool!That’s Eurovision!

Bridge 2Getting votes from your neighbours is a sure wayTo get your song disgracedBut when Sweden gets twelve points from NorwayIt’s clearly just good taste!

MiddleThat gimmicky factor; the wacky, the weirdCéline on a tractor1; Conchita’s beard2Pirates3 and penguins4 and puppets on strings5These are a few of my favourite things6

Verse 3The singers come togetherLike songbirds of a featherFor victory, they hope and pray and begWe wait there in the Green Room– An often rather mean room –Wishing all of our competitors “break a leg”!The impact of the show, one cannot overstateNo matter where you go, it’s a source of debateBut it’s something you either love or hate!That’s Eurovision!

RiverdanceAnd the Interval Act is your one big chanceTo fail to live up to Riverdance7…!

Language ListWhere else can you hear Romansh and Luxembourgish sung?We’ve had two songs with sign language8, and three in a made-up tongue9!Antillean Creole, Norwegian, Võro, VienneseNeapolitan, Catalan, Udmurt, Montenegrin and Maltese!

Ancient Greek, Albanian, Slovak, Ukrainian, Romani, Russian, RomanianCrimean, Slovenian, Hebrew, Armenian, Arabic and Lithuanian!Portuguese, Macedonian, Breton, Estonian, Pontic, Icelandic, Croatian, BulgarianGeorgian, Italian, Bosnian, Latvian, Corsican, Serbian, German, HungarianPolish and English and Irish and Finnish and Swedish and Spanish and DutchSamogitian and Turkish and Danish and French;Tahitian10, though not very much

And though I don’t know Czech, Swahili11, Azeri12, or GreekMusic is a language that we all know how to speak!

FinaleThat’s EurovisionIt’s your decisionThough not taking part is the crimeDouze points or zeroYou’ll be a hero of our time!

In the Eurovision familyWe do it ‘glitz-and-glamour-ly’’Cause rich in kitsch and hammily is best!

This is My-rovisionAnd His-rovisionAnd Her-rovisionAnd Your-rovision!Bienvenue, välkomna, be our guest!At the Eurovision Song Contest!

Notes

1 "Céline on a tractor" refers to the pre-song postcard in Céline Dion's 1988 entry for Switzerland, where the singer is seen riding through a farm on a couple of yellow agricultural vehicles (probably not tractors, but hey — poetic licence in the name of easy rhyming, 'n' all that! ;-)).

2 "Conchita's beard" refers to the Austrian bearded drag queen, Conchita Wurst, winner of the Eurovision Song Contest 2014 with Rise Like a Phoenix.