Look who's had a major makeover! :-) I know I've said that it's time for me to breathe now and let go of my manic zeal for book writing and publishing; but that doesn't stop me from going back through all I've already produced and polishing everything to perfection. The Conversation has undergone a major makeover, as you can see, but what you can't see is the interior layout which has also been refined and perfected. Same content you so love, all brighter and better packaging! ;-)

Even if you already own The Conversation of Merachefet, I do believe you will still be able to truly appreciate this refined and polished new version. It will be like getting an upgrade on something that you already know and cherish. It's the same value but with added beauty. Now with that been said, I hope you will love the excerpt from my book which I'm sharing with you below. Those of you who already own a copy of Merachefet will be familiar with these words by now but for the others who are getting a glimpse into the book of secrets for the first time, it will be a warm new welcome. Do enjoy.

“I love him because when I look at other people, when I look at everyone else... they are all right there, over there! And I am here. I am right here. But when I met him, from the first time I saw him, I looked at him and I saw that he was here with me! He wasn’t over there along with everyone else! He was here, right here where I am. Beside me. With me. We were the same!”

“But the two of you... you’re not the same! You’re two completely different people!”

“We are different; but we are the same.”

“How can two be different and the same at once?”

“How do you define difference, simpleton?”

“Well... I think difference is when you are like this, he is like that and those are two different ways of being!”

“That’s not what difference is. Difference is not found in ways of being. Difference is found in places of being! We are only different when we are in different places! And when I speak of places, I don’t mean the measurements of time and space and physical proximities! You may spend the greatest amount of time with someone and share the same exact space with someone; yet not be in the same place as that same person, at all! And then you meet someone one day, someone whom you have never seen before and you look at the person knowing that you are in the same place!”

“So, these places that you speak of, how do we get there?”

“We do not get there; we are born there! Then, many times we forget where! Destiny brings us back to these places.”

“Can you take someone with you to your place?”

“I think yes. Yes, you can take people with you to your place, but only if they were born there and simply forgot where they were born! When they meet you, there is recognition! With other people, there is no recognition!”

“What does it feel like... to meet someone who is in the same place as you? Or who was born in the same place as you?”

“You mean someone who is the same as you?”

“Yes. Someone who is the same as you. What does it feel like to meet that person?”

“It feels like nothing you have ever felt before, you want to stay. To stay with him. Forever. Because if you stay with him, you will never be alone, you will never be lost again, never!”

I’m afraid of them
She said to me
So I asked why
Because they hurt and burn and sting
They carry pitchforks
And thorns
If they see my eyes
And the softness of my skin
They will burn me
Cut me
And so I cover myself
With this cloak
She said to me
And I asked for how long now
Since I first found out
What they are like
Here, look at my scars!
They did this to me!
Now I hide under this emerald-colored hood
In these woods
Watch out
Humans hurt
She said to me
Then she also told me
That if only they hadn’t
Harmed her
And left her with many scars
She would be just as she first was
So much more beautiful than now
And my heart cried to hear
These things that she said to me
First because of the tragedy
Second because it was true
And third because she couldn’t see
That she was still beautiful
That she didn’t need to hide

I planned for Vade Mecum to be a surprise for all of you. It has ended up being a surprise for all of us (including me!) It's the first book that I have published spontaneously (without planning a publication date.) Today I walked around under the sunset and when the moon came out I took my shoes off and stood under it, walked around under the moonlight. I was inspired to even write a short piece about it which I will share below. So Vade Mecum has surprised me, and you, and possibly the universe. :D This little white book is a wacky-wild-unplanned-dirty-feet-moonlit-smile kinda book! It makes me want to howl at the moon! And possibly turn into a werewolf! :D

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And here is the piece I was inspired to write (inspired by the moon and all of the moonish, grassy, dirty things growing from the earth that make dirty feet):

"I suggest that people walk around under the moon barefoot, as I have today. There's that voice of your mom and dad and aunt and big sister and uncle and annoying cousin in your ear saying "Your feet are going to get dirty and you're going to turn into a bat" so the defiance in the act of simply taking your shoes off and standing there under that moon— is astronomical. A dirty-feet-moonlit-defiance that will make you smile."

I have been reading things recently and watching things on t.v. as well, which have led me to suddenly realize that the opinions and thought patterns of people these days, are greatly influenced by a mainstream social opinion and method of thought. For example, when we look into the direction of Hollywood and the Fashion Industry, we will see masses of people who are directly involved in it as well as those directly influenced by those directly involved— who are somehow greatly swayed by the idea of having zero percent body fat. Incredibly, it is nothing but a simple social suggestion that manages to throw off these individuals' awareness of things as basic as nutrition and well-being. Incredible. And so we have some of the world's wealthiest and most fortunate people, eating only as much as the poverty-stricken, famine-stricken people in Uganda and Namibia. This is not logical, it is not sensible, and yet it is so alarming how something as stupid as that, can become such a daily true thought in the minds of these individuals, only because of it being a collective social thought!

There are many examples, actually. Another is simply how one would react to things and say things. People's reactions and words seem to be cookie-cutter these days and don't actually mean anything, anymore. If you don't laugh in this manner— it means you are awkward. If you do not react in this way to this thing— it means either A or B or C. As a result— people are no longer who they are. In fact, they don't even know who they are, anymore.

Digging deeper here, there is also the underlying truth that human beings are so afraid of going anywhere near the things that they are used to, which they want to get rid of. For example, you will find that people in this day and age are so fixated on being "classy" (whatever their own interpretations of the word are) but you will find that their predisposition to this certain way of being is derived from their desire to escape their "non-classy" background. And this same escapism is echoed into many branches of life. People are running away from what they don't want to be, and as a result, there is so much more focus given on the thing/s that they don't want— that they fail to recognize what it is that they do want. People run away from their pasts, from their worst experiences, from what is it that they don't want to identify themselves with and the unfortunate result is that they go out into the world and they end up looking for what they don't want, only because what they run away from is always present in their minds.

I am of course not saying that every single person falls into these pitfalls I'm discussing here. But I am saying that a great, great, great number of us do. Now, one must first embrace where he/she has come from, accept and forgive it, and then he/she will finally be able to go out into the world without blindfolds and see what it is that he/she actually does want! Only when we embrace and accept our pasts can we truly move forward and make something new and entirely independent of it. Fear and hate have a signature way of pulling you back into them. But they're not actually trying to hold onto you; they're there to keep on taking you in, in order to push you away. You actually have to sort of say "I acknowledge your existence" and then you will be able to move away.

As for mainstream social opinion— I believe this is most unfortunate. You meet people and you're unable to actually meet the person because you are meeting a prototype, a similar thing as to everything else. A similar opinion, similar fears, similar reactions and words and reactions. Then why are you here on this earth, anyway? Huh? Let me ask you that. Think about it. Then why the heck are you here? Why did you come here? Why are you alive! Because I think that you ought to wake up and realize that there is a sky above you, there is soil beneath you and there is a fire within you! And these are the things that are real! You are not able to see yourself as a material suspended in the material that you are placed in— you are unable to see yourself exactly for what you exist as in time and space— you are blind! You are unaware!

Look and see what you are—human with air in your lungs, you have a fire in your spirit, you have the wind which you can breath into you, the sky that illuminates your world! You can walk on rock and soil and mountains! What are you doing with your time? What are you doing with all of this? Are you really going to spend the rest of your time lost in a mainstream opinion of yourself? A mainstream opinion of everything else and everyone else around you? Are you going to spend your time fixated on the popular opinion of what you say and how you react and what you are? You are lost because you cannot see yourself. xxC. Bells

I came across a work of art yesterday, a wooden sculpture, and when I saw it I was immediately pulled into it. It reminded me of a poem I had already written, entitled Beautiful Freak. I wasn't planning to share the poem just yet; I was saving it for a next book, however, this wooden sculpture begs me to share my poem with you, along with it! The art piece is created entirely of wood, hence its called a wooden sculpture, and is the work of Italian sculptor, Willy Verginer.

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"I am a flawed person. A brook with many stones, a clear blue sky with many blackbirds. I have many shortcomings. A rainbow that’s not long enough, a starry night with clouds. But I can only be thankful to the God who loves me just this way, and I can only be grateful to the people in my life who accept the clear blue sky with many blackbirds and who are patient with the rainbow that isn’t long enough. And because of this, I am taught love, because of this I love my God, and I love these people."— C. JoyBell C.

DISCLAIMER

This blog is not an online diary. Anything reflected through my writings here, do not necessarily mirror my present emotional, mental, or physical state, unless directly stated. Furthermore, any resemblances to you or to anyone you know, is purely coincidental and is not a result of me creating any "blind items" about you or your loved ones and friends. Moreover, your reading of my writings does not constitute a marriage, personal relationship, or personal friendship, between us.