Flirting?

There are some things you can do..
wear lesbian symbol jewlery.
rainbows are spotted by other lesbians.
I don't know whee you live, but here in Mpls., there
are a lot of lesbian support grps. ranging from "coming out"
to "making new lesbian friends" to "Breaking-up", lol. If
your in or by a big city you can usually find one.
There are also social grps that get together and do things, if you pick up the local gay newspaper you can find lots of things going on.
Good Luck...and maybe next time, smile back and flash a rainbow bracelet.
~sterlingsweet :wink:

I'm right there with you on not knowing when a woman is flirting with me, much less being any good at actually doing the flirt. I'm either so oblivious to the situation (in the first case) or feel like such an ass (in the latter situation) that I make it too light and end up in the friend zone which is all good, but sometimes you want to actually get into the more than friends zone.

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. -Kierkegaard

I'm an incredible flirt. But I think the way I flirt with men would set some women off. If I hit on a girl the way I hit on a guy it would most likely sond like "I can't lick my own [insert random body part], can I try licking yours?" I dunno if that would get me slapped or not.

I think I'll stick to the internet, less like to get smacked that way.

So, according to my friends, I'm a pretty big flirt when it comes to women. I can flash a smile at a stranger, or meet someone at a party and stand a pretty good chance of at least getting her number, straight or gay.

However, it's all lies. When I really care about a girl, and she gives me even the most remote glimmer of hope, I get this stupid grin on my face, I blush, and... wait for it...

I drop stuff. Whatever I might be holding, it's as if my fingers have a mind of their own, and have decided to go on strike. This may sound goofy and charming, but it's a VERY different story when you're working in a busy kitchen, handling knives all day. Thank god I have all my toes.

Back to the point: one of my friends told me that her ex just chats with whomever strikes her fancy (asking the time is always a good opener) and then after a bit, simply says "So, are you like, into women, cause I think you're really cute and I'd like to take you out sometime" while giving off body language that an ox could understand.

This has an insanely high success rate. Now, I know that you're shy, many of us are shy (and clumsy, in my case), but I want to encourage anyone who might not be so shy to try this method. If enough people are that straightforward and frank about it, the problem will solve itself.

@ djjadie - I'm the same. I just started working in a predominantly female office again (oh! all the hot nurses and doctors. I think they make you send in headshots for med school) and I'm making an ass of myself. ;_;

@ Faith - SCORE ONE FOR THE LADIES!!! I love emasculating the meaning of words. I think it's a much better strategy for fighting sexist language. Those mysogenists are quite sensitive about their diction.

Hi all. I'm new to the forum, and doing some really interesting reading. I've heard about "gadar". Oh, tell me where I can go buy some! Honestly, I have absolutely no way of telling whether a woman is straight, bi or gay. It's easy for me to see when a man is flirting with a woman or vice versa, but talk about brain dead when it comes to woman to woman. I am scared to death of being wrong, so I don't even politely hit on anyone.

An internet friend (whom I've met in person a few times, but she lives quite far away) tells me that it will develop over time. I know I'm not that shy, and I'm able to put the insecurities aside and speak up when I really want to - I can manage asking someone out for coffee for sure. But I have no idea how to communicate the fact that I'm attracted to her sexually and would like to move from coffee to exploring the possibility of more.

My problem is this suburban bliss I dwell in, and the fact that there appears to be no gay community here whatsoever. Maybe too the fact that I've only in the last 10 months figured out that at the very least I'm bi and seriously need a relationship with a woman in my life. But that is a whole other forum ... lol

HAHAHHAHA We're in same boat. I've been out since November, and I've still yet to be with a woman. I thought about dating services, but I really don't want any thing exclusive.

As for gaydar. It's more like a code. For example, a woman I worked with refered to her partner only as "my better half" or some other gender neutral term. It was quite obvious to me, but never occured to the hetero women in my office. Sometimes you just know, and other times you don't.

HAHAHHAHA We're in same boat. I've been out since November, and I've still yet to be with a woman. I thought about dating services, but I really don't want any thing exclusive.

As for gaydar. It's more like a code. For example, a woman I worked with refered to her partner only as "my better half" or some other gender neutral term. It was quite obvious to me, but never occured to the hetero women in my office. Sometimes you just know, and other times you don't.

well..shoot! I need me some of that "gadar" too! and I'm 49 and been out mah whole life. Mine never developed. (mebe I'm too or not enough of somethin for it to take hold. LMAO) Women pretty much have to walk u[ to me and say "Hey..I'm flirting with you..pay attention." LMAO

:A girl smiled at me the other day. A stranger. I was walking passed her as she was sitting on a seat outside a shopping centre. She gave me a glance and a sweet smile. I smiled back...there was definite eye contact and I continued to walk and sensed her head turning to watch as I walked on. I felt something. Now this may not have been attraction on her part...who knows, all I know is I didn't do a damn thing about it. Later I thought, was she...you know...giving me a look...being shy I will never know these things and it pisses me off. Then I think, "well what am I going to do? Sit next to her and strike up a conversation?" God no.

Oh dear.Another day in the life of Nic *sigh* Men are so much more obvious about liking you than women are.

Story of my life as well...The biggest hottie did the whole "I'm going to dance real close with my back to you so you can look at my ass" thing and even then I couldn't do anything! Yaaarsh...I've been kickin myself ever since. I think I never really learned how to be flirty....