Boob Whisky is a Thing

Whisky is a beautiful thing, if it wasn’t for whisky, showers and low standards most of us probably wouldn’t be here. In fact the only thing better than whisky is boobs, since they’re the most perfect thing on Earth. Hell, even the word “Boob” looks like a pair of breasts from above, the front and the side. It was only a matter of time until somebody combined the two. Unsurprisingly it was thought up by a guy. A legendary guy we want to drown in high fives.

Marketed as G.Whisky No.1, this 12-year-old single malt is unique in that every bottle has been poured over the breasts of an international Playboy model. If your eyes stopped working for a second there to shield your mind from the insanity of that previous sentence. There is whisky out there that has been poured over the chesticles of a Playboy model.

Lose yourself in a world full of autumn gold, matured in former Sherry casks, and feel the warmth of Alexa (Playmate Of The Year 2012), whose breasts it´s poured over. We guarantee that every single drop was poured over the breasts of Alexa. This is confirmed by the bottling certificate, including the original signature of the model and the bottle number.

But let’s just back up a second here, somewhere out there is a guy who has been paid to bottle this shit. There’s a guy out there who has the words “boob whisky tester” written on his paycheck, we don’t need proof God exists because this guy is already living in heaven. Man heaven.

The whisky had a limited run of 5000 bottles, with each one retailing for around 200 dollars, then again, 200 dollars is nothing when you get to shotgun a bottle that is guaranteed to have touched the sweater kittens of a Playboy model.

Not to mention it has an almost 60% alcohol volume so even if you’re upset about losing 200 dollars, you won’t care for long. And if whisky isn’t your thing they also sell vodka and rum, because of course they do.