]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/12/07/how-to-eat-well-by-toddler-o/feed/0Fussy-eaterhello. nice to meet youJuggling night feeds and a day jobhttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/11/07/juggling-night-feeds-and-a-day-job/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/11/07/juggling-night-feeds-and-a-day-job/#commentsFri, 07 Nov 2014 16:43:58 +0000http://thisworkingmum.com/?p=643]]>I’ve returned back to work sooner than I would have ideally liked*, and little J still isn’t sleeping through the night.

Here are a few tips and tricks for how I’m coping with both the night time feeds and the day job! NB: Unfortunately these are not techniques for how to get your baby to sleep through the night ;)

Go to bed EARLY!No brainer right. I know this is difficult as you want some “adult time” after the children have gone to bed. Bit of TV, glass of vino or a cheeky shop online on the iPad.

Try and get to bed before 9:00pm if you can. You could even encourage a dream feed at this time and then sneak into the sack. Hopefully you’ll get at least four to five hours until the next dreaded feed!

Step away from the smart phoneThe trick with night feeds is for both you AND baby to try and stay as asleep as possible! Checking out FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram just wakes up your brain and makes it harder to switch off when you (eventually) crawl back into bed.

RoutineFind a routine that works for you. I change Baby J’s nappy half way through feeding. That way it wakes him up enough to drink some more, but at the same time the rest of his “second half” feed sends him back to sleep!

Over active mindI find the 4:00am feed the absolute killer with regards to drifting back off. When I get back into bed my body is so tired but my mind is racing at a million miles an hour. Thinking about things I need to do at work. What I need to pack for Toddler O for nursery etc etc.

As I mentioned earlier, try to limit smart phone activities. I’ve also found the best thing to do is to write a quick “to do” list. This puts everything in perspective and helps settle your over active mind.

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/11/07/juggling-night-feeds-and-a-day-job/feed/0Baby night feedshello. nice to meet youdont-talk-to-me-right-now-i-was-up-all-night-keeping-my-parents-awake-and-im-exhaustedBAby sleepingOn being eight months pregnanthttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/07/10/on-being-eight-months-pregnant/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/07/10/on-being-eight-months-pregnant/#commentsThu, 10 Jul 2014 06:17:37 +0000http://thisworkingmum.com/?p=635]]>Ok… so strictly there are a total of 16 things below. I couldn’t resist adding a further eight specifically about working and being pregnant too.

Eight things about being eight months pregnant

You have to embrace the waddle. The waddle walk has become a part of you. Do not try and fight it. Do not try and wear high heels and do not try and look good walking in high heels

If you run, walk fast, or maybe just even walk further than 100m, it feels like your baby could fall out at any second

Cross your legs when you wee, cough or laugh. You know why

You have a battle with what to wear every morning. In fact, you get out of breath just trying to get dressed. Tight tops just emphasise that your boobs are resting on your belly. Who cares

You can’t remember a time when you didn’t have heartburn

This is the time you should really be sleeping, but you can’t get comfortable, you wake a zillion times to go pee in the night and you’re so fat and heavy your whole body feels like its numb

You have no idea what’s going on “down there” and keep putting off getting a wax before the big day

Getting showered is exhausting. Getting in and out of a bath is even harder worker. Trying to wrap a towel around your gigantic fat body is just heart breaking

Eight things about being at work and being eight months pregnant

Your hormones keep egging you on to send that reactive snappy email

There is absolutely zero chance of you looking smart in your maternity work clothes anymore – those clothes that you spent a fortune on, only to wear for a few months

People have stopped talking to you about anything work related and just simply keep asking how long you have left

You’ve lost count of the number of male colleagues who say, “I wish I could take some time off work”

Your working life has become all about post it notes and reminder lists

You feel guilty for taking time off for routine doctor and hospital visits

You are uncomfortable sitting at your desk in your cheap crappy work chair 100% of the time

You try and stay engaged and part of a group discussion or meeting while getting kicked, punched and beaten to pieces from inside

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/07/10/on-being-eight-months-pregnant/feed/2Pregnancy-stageshello. nice to meet youThe Alpha Womanhttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/30/the-alpha-woman/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/30/the-alpha-woman/#commentsMon, 30 Jun 2014 12:57:15 +0000http://boardroomandbabies.com/?p=623]]>I’ve just watched a great video on The Telegraph via Bloomberg where three women and a man are discussing what happens when women earn more than men.

Women earn more money than men in 24% of marriages today than just 6% in 1960 – study by Pew Research Group

And, couples run a 50% higher chance for divorce if the female makes more money than the male

It also discusses the role of the alpha female.
A few years I contributed to an article called The Alpha Woman for Emirates Woman Magazine. I’ve dug out my research and notes and taken some exerts from the article. Here’s what I had to say about alpha and beta females back in 2010:

Women hate her. Men are intimidated by her. Ruthless and calculating at work, domineering and aggressive at home, she will let nothing stand in the way on her path to the top, be it family or friendships. She’s the much maligned “alpha woman” – a self-serving sisterhood which includes the likes of US Vogue editor Anna Wintour, US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and of course, ex-British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. And then there’s the “beta woman”, the nurturing and passive homemaker, dutiful wife and doting mother – think Jackie Kennedy or Katie Holmes. But how relevant are these stereotypes to today’s women?

Tough at the top“Alpha males are perceived as bullying, selfish and will tread over people to get what they want,” explains Emily. “Alpha females, however, will use their emotional intelligence to lead in a successful way in the workplace without having a purposefully negative impact on others.”

But why is female ambition so often seen as a negative trait?

“It’s the classic case of men being assertive while women are aggressive,” says Emily. “Alpha women are driven and motivated, yes, but this does not mean that they will deliberately go out of their way to ruin others to get to the top.” Often, it’s other women who are perpetuating these negative stereotypes. “It should be about encouraging each other’s successes, not about backstabbing and sabotage.”

Blurring the boundariesJust as we should not assume that all alpha women are cold and aggressive, similarly beta women are not necessarily passive, says Emily. “They will challenge what they think is right, but are not driven as much as alpha females to succeed and achieve. They can still be career-minded, but they are not focused on becoming the most successful in their company.” In fact, the terms ‘aggressive’ and ‘passive’ are wrong and degrading,

Power and perceptionWhen it comes to defining today’s alpha and beta women, it’s no longer a matter of traditional gender norms, and is more a case of who is actually doing the defining. So who ultimately has the better quality of life? Alpha and beta women have different life goals, explains Emily. “As long as we are both aware of what these goals are and are on the path to achieving them, then we can all be winners.”

Male versus female: the stereotype debate

ALPHA MALEDominating his peers both in work and at play, the alpha male is typically seen as bullish and aggressive. Confident, intelligent and often good-looking, he’s a natural leader and is as successful in his career as he is in his relationships.

ALPHA FEMALEThe alpha female is often very different to the alpha male. Academically gifted, she may be perceived as confident and domineering. “Although they’re similar to alpha males in their outlook and motivation to succeed, alpha females have to use their emotional intelligence to come across as driven rather than aggressive,” says Emily.

BETA MALEBeta males are typically seen as more submissive and hesitant than alphas. Not necessarily less intelligent, they tend to be quieter and less confrontational. Followers rather than leaders, they are less likely to take risks.

BETA FEMALEBeta females are portrayed as the exact opposite of the stereotypical alpha, and are typically gentler in nature. They are introverted rather than extrovert, polite rather than threatening and caring and nurturing as opposed to hostile and aggressive.

What do you think?

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/30/the-alpha-woman/feed/0alpha-womanhello. nice to meet youWhy I love Father’s Dayhttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/16/why-i-love-fathers-day/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/16/why-i-love-fathers-day/#commentsMon, 16 Jun 2014 12:16:37 +0000http://boardroomandbabies.com/?p=614]]>Now, I’m not usually a fan of the Facebook /boast-book bragging status’ – but yesterday I did love all the messages and posts about our dads, husbands and partners being wonderful parents and fathers.

I know the sceptics out there think that days such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are just a Hallmark marketing ploy… but personally I love them. Here’s what I love:

I love the home made cards from the younger children

I love the words that the older children write in the shop bought cards

I love the pledges from all ages that their dads are the best parents in the world

I love seeing all the photos that were uploaded to FB and the change in profile pictures

I love that those status’ on FB have taken thought, time and reflection

I love all the thanks from both children and partners

I love that it is a day for dads to celebrate their role

What I love most is imaging all those children and partners stopping and reflecting about the male influences in their lives. Whether it is before you make that phone call to wish you dad happy Father’s Day, or before you put pen to paper and write your card.

My dad

Thank you pushing me to be whatever I wanted

Thank you for championing equality and showing me the benefits of working hard

Thank you giving me a fun childhood away from computer games and televisions

Thank you for teaching me manners as well as social skills

Thank you for being a fun and energetic Grandad

Thank you for being brilliant with my son as a baby and as a toddler

Thank you for being generous on so many levels

My husband

Thank you for the nappy changes and bottle feeds and getting your hands dirty!

Thank you for being the one that our son listens to when you say no

Thank you for the nightly toddler bedtime routine

Thank you for being the carrier of everything when we travel

Thank you for your Octonauts dance that makes our son smile every time

Thank you for playing endlessly in the garden with O and getting continually soaked in the paddling pool

Thank you for being a “modern day” dad. For understanding that we all play a part in parenting and being a wonderful presence in our son’s life xx

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/16/why-i-love-fathers-day/feed/0best dadhello. nice to meet youDad and IS and OPregnancy work wardrobehttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/05/pregnancy-work-wardrobe/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/06/05/pregnancy-work-wardrobe/#commentsThu, 05 Jun 2014 10:21:55 +0000http://boardroomandbabies.com/?p=539]]>Trying to look smart in the workplace when pregnant isn’t easy. I would suggest it’s even harder if you’re based in the UAE like me. I tend to order my maternity clothes online as there really isn’t much choice here!

Here are my suggestions for looking and staying smart at work:

DressesIf there is one dress that I think is an absolute MUST buy for work, it’s Babes with BabiesAvalicious. It’s not cheap at £95.00, but I’ve worn them throughout both pregnancies now. They come in four colours and are just perfect to slip a jacket, kimono or cardigan over.

I’m 5 foot 8 and (before pregnancy) a size 10. I found the large fitted best. I event wore these after pregnancy for a while as they’re still flattering.

I also really recommend this simple dress below from ASOS. I wear it with a colourful belt above the bump. It does come up a bit big so definitely order the size you were before being pregnant.

– ASOS, £25.00

Wrap dresses – These are a bit of a no brainer for work too. I got a plain black wrap (again from Babes with Babies) in 2012 for pregnancy number one, and still wear it now. It’s called the magic dress… and it really is! It’s £95.00

A lady at my work has the Isabella Oliver version which looks great on her too..

– Isabella Oliver, £95.00

SkirtsPencil skirts and dresses are def my favourite pregnancy work wear. They are the most comfortable, and in my opinion look the most professional. The beauty of pencil skirts is that you don’t necessarily have to get maternity ones. Go for elasticated waists rather than fitted with a zip. My favourite non-maternity choices are from Dorothy Perkins. I just went one (or two!) sizes up and sit above the bump:

– Dorothy Perkins, £12.00

Other maternity pencil skirts I have are:

– ASOS, £25.00

– ASOS, £25.00

I also have the below in black and dark navy blue. They are by New Look and can be a dress, skirt or tube. They are super cheap and work great as a pencil skirt.

– New Look, £7.99

I don’t think it would last more than one pregnancy and the fabric catches on a lot of things, but as a plain comfortable pencil skirt that goes below the knees it really does the job!

Kimono tops
Whatever the pregnancy wardrobe problem – a kimono is the solution! They are flattering, cover lumps and bumps and can dress up a plain vest top, dress or anything! They’re also pretty affordable and can be worn after pregnancy too.

I would suggest getting a longer length one – not one that stops on your waist line – to be more flattering.

– ASOS £38.00

– H&M £29.99

TopsI have found smart tops, shirts and blouses the hardest to come across. The most flattering are ones that gather under the boobs – otherwise you can look quite tent like!

This is a staple one for me that looks smart with a fitted pencil skirt. I add my own belt rather than use the tie as pictured below.

– H&M – £19.99

I also have a plain white wrap shirt (New Look) and some chiffon type blouses that look great with a pencil skirt:

- ASOS, £32.00

TrousersLike tops, I have struggled to find trousers I am happy and comfortable in. I had a pair from ASOS that were great for my 2nd trimester – but are pretty uncomfortable now. I have also found with trousers that they don’t stay up that well too!

– ASOS, £22.00 – great for the 2nd trimester!

So that’s it for my pregnancy wardrobe solutions and suggestions…. I hope you have found this post helpful!

Thank you for being so understanding
And passing your smug judgement from across the restaurant
The family restaurant
Whilst your older son sat quietly and so well behaved
I assume he didn’t ever make noise growing up
Because you are of course, a perfect mother

Finally, thank you for being so supportive to a fellow mum
A mum who was exhausted after a day at work
Who was relieved that her toddler was happily eating
And not having a terrible toddler tantrum
Your shushing loudly obviously gave me super powers
Which enabled me to stop my toddler from making any further noise

To the lady that shushed my son in Jones the Grocer
What a wonderfully judgemental woman you are…

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/05/13/to-the-lady-that-shushed-my-toddler/feed/2Judgemental-mumhello. nice to meet youjudging-owlA 40 week hangoverhttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/04/06/a-40-week-hangover/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/04/06/a-40-week-hangover/#commentsSun, 06 Apr 2014 13:00:47 +0000http://boardroomandbabies.com/?p=570]]>I was driving home from work last week thinking: I’m so tired. I’m hungry but don’t know what to eat. I feel achy. I’ve got a headache.

Then it dawned on me, being pregnant is basically like having a hangover…

You feel nauseous when you wake up in the morning

Your body feels achy and stiff like you’ve been dancing in four inch heels all night

Then I stopped and thought about it. I haven’t been to one of these events before. I had an annual leave day that needed to be used up by the end of March. And I hated the thought of all the other mums being there, and O being by himself.

So I went.

In reality… O couldn’t care less whether I was there or not. He was off the whole time playing on the climbing frame with the other kids. I felt awkward and on the edge of the group. Like a trespasser looking in. All the other mums seemed to know each other.

I did speak to a few ladies who have children in O’s class. We just seemed to speak about the children – but I guess that’s the common ground to start with right?

I wasn’t overly enamoured with one of the ladies who so thoughtfully pointed out: “Yes. We always know the children who have mums that work, as the children are always alone at events like this.”

As I said, I wouldn’t say O would exactly ever be “alone” at those type of events. He was surrounded by other manic toddlers careering around!

It has put my mind at rest though knowing about the set up of the event and how inclusive they are. But will I be going to the next one? Watch this space!

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/03/24/the-working-mum-trespasser/feed/0UAE Mother's Dayhello. nice to meet youThe nitty gritty of a C-Sectionhttp://thisworkingmum.com/2014/03/18/the-nitty-gritty-of-a-c-section/
http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/03/18/the-nitty-gritty-of-a-c-section/#commentsTue, 18 Mar 2014 04:43:32 +0000http://boardroomandbabies.com/?p=555]]>My son was delivered by c-section. It was a planned operation that was scheduled for 39 weeks. However, I went into labour at 36 weeks plus 4… so he was a little earlier than expected.

If you’re thinking about having a caesarean, here’s some things about the operation and recovery that I can share:

Be preparedBy that I specifically mean:

Wash your hair – as I went into labour early I had my C with dirty hair. Laying in a hospital bed with dirty feeling hair just makes you feel the pits. Fact

Buy big knickers. Again, this was on my “to do” list but I didn’t get around to it. Husband had to nip out to M&S up the road and buy me some.

Nightdresses are your friend. You’re going to have a big, sore cut right across your knicker line. PJs bottoms are not ideal!

Take some things that will make you feel a bit more comfortable in hospital. If you’re having a C, you tend to have to stay in longer than natural birth. Things like cereal bars, face wipes, squash, straws to drink with etc all come in handy.

The epidural shakesIf you’re having a planned C-section, it’s quite likely that you’ll “just” have an epidural, rather than being put under. If you’re anything like me, this is a nerve wracking and shaky part. Do not look at the needle. I repeat – do NOT look at the needle.

Tug of warThe feeling of having a baby literally pulled (yanked) from your body is very hard to describe! I’ve seen it written in a lot of places that it feels like someone is doing the washing up inside your body. That’s a pretty accurate description. The tug you feel as they pull the baby out is quite frankly, bizarre. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s certainly not comfortable either.

Birthing planMake sure you communicate (and insist) on the specifics that you want from your birth. Just because you’re not having natural doesn’t mean you can’t have a birthing plan. Here were my specifics:

My husband was to be in the room with me – sitting next to my head holding my hand (the other hand had to be strapped down as standard)

When the baby was lifted out my husband looked and told me the sex

My son was placed straight away on me (skin on skin) while they stitched me up

My son was then taken (with husband) to the recovery room to wait for me

As soon as I was in the recovery room the midwives helped me breast feed straight away

Stay topped up with the pain reliefAs soon as you you’re entitled to more pain relief, ask for it! There is no one who is going to be watching the clock like you. Day one seems a breeze as you still have epidural in your system… day two keep on asking.

Don’t be afraid to ask about ANYTHINGFrom help changing a nappy, to breastfeeding to questions about your scar and operation. Ask away! You may need specific help with breast feeding positions that are comfortable for you after the operation. Honestly – do not shy away from asking for help.

Leave your dignity at the hospital doorFrom having your breasts man handled to feed the baby, to shamelessly having blood drip to the floor when your nurse helps you to the toilet and removes your knickers. During those few days you’re in hospital, leave your dignity at the door!

Thought you were bunged up during pregnancy?!Think again. I wasn’t allowed to check out of hospital until I had done the deed. Four uncomfortable days later and I was a free woman! Oh… but brace yourself for the pain! Eat a fibre rich diet before you have the operation and take any foods into the hospital with you that get things moving: kiwis, prune juice and All Bran are all winners for me!

Avoid dust and laughterTry not to sneeze, or laugh. Ok, obviously that isn’t possible. Hold your stomach to support it instead. It hurts I’m afraid to say.

Day two – get walking
The last thing you want to do is get up and walk… but it’s best for you and your recovery. Your nurses and midwives should be encouraging you to do this anyway. But if its been a few hours, give them a call and ask them to help you walk around. Or even better if you have a visitor/s – let them help you. This will help with the constipation issues too!

FINALLY… be kind to yourselfWhen you’re back home be kind to yourself. You’ve just had a major operation.
Let your body heal and recover. Take this opportunity to allow your husband/ partner/ friends and family to lean in and support.

Good luck!

]]>http://thisworkingmum.com/2014/03/18/the-nitty-gritty-of-a-c-section/feed/1C-sectionhello. nice to meet you