Friday, December 5, 2014

Emotional Alchemy

Emotional alchemy. That's a typical Old Fossil subject - designed to make you think before you speak. Or not - I suppose it depends upon one's level of comfort seaking about personal chemistry and such.

I am essentially a shy, dumb jock gone to seed. Now I fancy myself something of an old curmudgeon. But - through the years there have been a few people with whom I had an almost instant connection. I'll briefly discuss a couple of them.

First up, of course, is my late wife Lynn. Love at first sight? Well if not that then it was certainly something very similar. The first time we met there was an instant connection. We were both jocks - me a football player and Lynn a gymnast at BYU. Unlike with other young ladies, conversation between us flowed like a river. There was genuine interest there and it lasted for 45 years. Not bad if I do say so myself.

The other person I want to briefly discuss is none other than the sage of Pune - Ramana. We have enjoyed an easy rapport from the time we met. Though coming from two very different cultures, Ramana and I hit it off immediately. We are somewhat similar in background - educated, widowed, we love music and movies and we both fancy a heated discussion. Though we handle discussions a bit differently, we love them. Ramana is ever the cool, calm rational fellow whilst I am more easily excitable. It makes for some interesting, fun times.

Emotional alchemy. Magic? Alchemy might imply that but it's really - to me - a matter of wanting to learn and a willingness to listen. At times logic dictates the emotions be ignored and reason take the lead. It might be nice if that were always the case but then we are people after all. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory is much more common than one would hope.

Emotional alchemy. The chemistry class of life.

That's this weeks off-the-cuff shack take on the weekly LBC topic, See ya next week - same bat time, same bat channel.

6 comments:

I heartily reciprocate the sentiments expressed by you Shackman. I would reiterate something that I use often.

“Whomsoever you encounter is the right one”This means that no one comes into our life by chance. Everyone who is around us, anyone with whom we interact, represents something, whether to teach us something or to help us improve a current situation.

“Whatever happened is the only thing that could have happened”Nothing, absolutely nothing of that which we experienced could have been any other way. Not even in the least important detail. There is no “If only I had done that differently…, then it would have been different…”. No. What happened is the only thing that could have taken place and must have taken place for us to learn our lesson in order to move forward. Every single situation in life, which we encounter, is absolutely perfect, even when it defies our understanding and our ego.

That certaibnly ties in with iour recent Time topic - reality is now, what was is no longer real and what will be will be. While I agree with those sentiments it is still fun to occasionally ponder what might have been. Maybe that's real in an alternate reality.

I firmly believe in emotional alchemy. How some people click and some remain lukewarm to each other. One thing that strikes me, and it is most certainly not my life's experience, that you, Shackman, emphasize "at first sight", whether romantically or within friendship.

Both my husbands were not exactly my favourite people at first nor I theirs - but, by golly, the magic magnet worked. Longest standing friend of mine - a most exacting person - at the time boyfriend of my bestest friend, circled me on fresh acquaintance with the suspicion of a cat about to be poisoned. Whenever he could stick the knife into me (verbally) he would. The discussions we had! Till one of our circle said, dryly (he later killed himself for unrelated reasons): "The two of you should go to bed together." We never did. For that he was too important to me. And what do you know: Of all of us within that circle decades ago guess who have remained solid friends? The sole survivors? Exactly.

Thinking back: A lot of my friendships (male and female) started with a certain amount of animosity. No, maybe not 'animosity', but something not quite smooth in early proceedings. Look at you and me: Did I manage to put my foot wrong or didn't I? Yes, I did. Even Ramana and I have had our moments - and look at us: We now glide along so smoothly we are probably beginning to bore each other (only joking). Then there is Old Foss. Dear, dear, dear, dear. For someone who was a complete bastard (that's him not me) in the beginning I grew rather fond of him. Rubbing each other up the wrong way, enjoying and finding it annoying in equal measure, and there your are: A friendship in the making (though currently dormant).

Actually U I disagree - I always liked your contrarian stances and snapped at you over the fat comment just to spark some discussion. I honestly cannot think of any real friendships - admittedly there are very few of them to begin with - that grew out of an acrimonious relationship. I was painfully shy and essentially remain so to this day although the Internet has allowed me to open up a bit more than usual. Plus, there have been friendships over the years that have dissolved in serious acrimony. So to your "at first sight" comment I'd simply say that I am a pretty good judge of character on first impressions - that's all.