Monthly Archives: August 2013

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Moebius
A couple's fight over the husband's infidelity turns to a grotesque calamity. After failing to sever her husband's penis, the infuriated wife chooses instead to dismember her son in order to hurt his father.

Jon: hey, how often do you change your bed sheets?Lozo: it depends, but ideally, once every two weeksChris: like every two weeksHoward: < two weeks
I thought I was a clean person for changing bed sheets every three months. WELP...
I don't think I ever changed bed sheets in college.

Some days, New York City feels surreal. All of this originated from a single-celled organism. [head asplode]

Some days, I feel surreal. I am a living human being. This is my body.

Science Fiction Idea: What if fetuses decided whether or not to be aborted? Carriers have no say. If you get pregnant, your fetus decides whether it wants you as a mother. My body, its choice. Unprotected sex becomes high stakes gambling. Murders of babies, who are undeniably human, rise.

While content with my life, I harbour a shipping container of regrets, some that I desperately wish I could go back in time and change.

Some nights, I fall asleep wondering what could have been.

Book Idea: My life as a "choose your own adventure" – an autobiography with hypothetical narratives branching off.

Chocolate Pecan Pie (Palo Alto Creamery, SF Bay Area)
This is the best chocolate pecan pie I've ever eaten, striking a balance of chocolate and pecan pie like no other chocolate pecan pie I've had, and I try every chocolate pecan pie I encounter. Its crust could be better, but it doesn't detract.

The Swingle (Steve's Authentic Key Lime Pies, BKN)
The Swingle is a key lime tartlet dipped in dark Belgian chocolate. The trek out to Red Hook to obtain one is worth it.

Chocolate Bourbon Pecan Bar (Baked, BKN)
And while you're in Red Hook, I recommend picking up a few of these.

I ran into a group of people standing outside Jerry's Famous Deli all looking at the Kinko's across the street. I turned my head and saw a tall black man standing in front of the counter at Kinko's. My immediate reaction was Oh snap! He's robbing the place!

Turns out it was Shaq getting something copied.

While stapling scripts today at Kinko's, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a customer walk behind the service counter to proof something. I looked up and it was Spike Lee.

Sometimes it seems like scaffolding covers half the buildings in New York. At any given moment, says the Department of Buildings, over a million feet of New York sidewalks are covered by construction sheds. [source]

Art Exhibit Idea: Scaffold City: photos of New York City shrouded in scaffolding

"You know what we HAVE to do when we visit New York City? Buy a framed photo of One Direction."

I wonder where fruit cart vendors in New York City get their fruit. I like to think that, like, Safeway is behind all the fruit carts in New York City – another revenue stream.

[sees Hispanic woman selling mangoes in Union Square]

—How much for one bag?
—$3.

$3?! But you just sliced up a mango and bagged it! That like a 200% mark-up! This probably isn't a whole mango either!

The Darby
The club itself has a tight door, luckily, I'm fortunate enough to have friends in virtually every major city that matters who are highly connected.

Delano
I was beyond annoyed when security asked to see my room key for me to go to the pool area, my room key was at my table which I explained to him but he simply would not let me go over to the pool area. I additionally looked like a hotel guest, in plenty of Hermes.

Dolce & Gabbana
I like to avoid tourists at all costs, not like the cool European ones or ones from New York but like the ones from middle America who think people in California actually wear Hollister (gross).

Souplantation
Souplantation is exactly what I picture a soup kitchen to be minus the homeless people. I don't see how a place can charge $10 for unlimited food unless that food is cheap and of poor quality.

Pressed Juicery
Prior to the cleanse, I had followed a vegan diet for 11 (almost 12) years. I am pretty healthy. Unhealthy aspects of my life? I drink and smoke.

Fresh East
Me with a bag of Fritos at 2 AM? YEAH RIGHT! My standards for what I put in my body in terms of food remain even when I was completely f*cked up.

Pressed Juicery
As I mentioned before I wanted to lose a little weight. My abs are much more defined than they were before and I don't have bump protruding when I'm not flexing.

A.P.C.
I never have had a pair of jeans that showed my perfect legs…UNTIL A.P.C.

Desert Rose Restaurant
My waitress was a little rude. I asked her if she could charge my phone for me and she acted really shocked that I would ask such a question. Like what?

It's not too late to jump on the Bad-wagon. Only three episodes have aired.

To be fair, Jonny has come lately to a number of shows – The Shield, 24, Lost, Mad Men. I've still never seen the first season of Lost.

Do kids still buy graphing calculators? Or is it all graphing calculator smartphone apps nowadays? And if it's smartphone apps, how do you prevent cheating during tests? And do the apps come with Drugwars?

I spent sixth through twelfth grade wearing the gamut of orthodontic appliances to correct shark teeth, but was not diligent with retainers in college, and a lower canine tooth consequently liberated itself. It's not really noticeable to eyes, but my tongue can feel the misalignment.

When I consulted a dentist about my errant tooth during a teeth cleaning, she just shrugged and remarked, "Teeth will settle where they feel comfortable."

I'd be lying if I said that my errant tooth didn't bother me – sometimes mightily so – but whenever I consider fixing it, I conclude that I'm too old for that shit. "Oh well."

Enter my mother.

"Jon, if your teeth aren't straight, they'll fall out when you're older. You need to fix that tooth."

And so, I type this while wearing retainers I had molded earlier this week, saliva sliming my mouth and lisp in my speech.

Orthodontist: You need to wear them at all times for at least two months.