jalapenos are not very hot when they are cooked. I have always heard that it is best to take the seeds out of the peppers to lessen the hotness. I don't have much experience with peppers except for a little chili I cook once in a while. I put in some jalapenos but I slice them nearly paper thin and put them in the chili early and they disappear leaving only mild hotness behind.

I've tried a few of her recipes and left the hot spices out or cut them to just a pinch, and my family liked it just fine. She does to seem to like her food spicy hot, but I'd rather taste the food than have my tongue and tonsil bed burned away by the heat level of her spices. Sometimes I'll add just a little jalapeno with seeds removed and chopped very, very fine or I'll use the mild Rotel tomato brand which is usually spicy enough for us. DH loves canned, mild or medium diced green chilies so I usually add them in and they impart a nice flavor without being hot. For those who love extra hot stuff, I serve siracha, hot sauce, or salsa on the side and they can add in what they like.