Sunday, April 24, 2011

Yesterday, April 23, I had the honor of co-officiating the wedding of two dear friends, Thomas and Christine. (To be fair, while I've known Christine for about 5 years, I only met Tom for the first time during the wedding rehearsal.)
Christine had asked me a while ago if I'd officiate her wedding, and of course I said I would. Then questions of faith and such crept into the discussion, and she thought that a more neutral, as opposed to Wiccan, officiant might go better with the predominantly Christian families. So during the weeks of negotiation other clergy was considered, until it was decided to have TWO priests officiate the ceremony, one male and one female. (They also had a Best Chick - Tom's best man was his friend Kimberly.)

During the discussions and negotiations and such, I'd sent Christine a wedding ceremony proposal, using many of the elements I often incorporate into my handfastings. When all was said and done, I'm proud to say, a good portion of my work was used in the final ceremony. I've done Wiccan handfastings before, but never before a crowd of people I just straight-up didn't know.

Since most of the family(s) are Christian, Christine had asked me to keep any mention of Goddess, magick, pagan, witch, etc, to a minimum. Like, none. But likewise, there was no mention of Jesus Christ, Jehovah or Heaven either. In fact the only mention of any such notion was one use of the word ' divine' in the opening statement.

But this does not by any mean say that it was a drab or un-spiritual union; the elements were invoked, energy was indeed raised just by the fact that so many people were in such good spirits during the service!

Christine had wanted a medeival/renaissance theme, so everyone who could do so attended in period garb. I really think EVERY wedding should be performed this way! People look so much better than in plain old tuxedos and formal dresses.
Reverend Jane officiated most of the ceremony, but I performed the Seven Bindings and the Eight Sacred Blessings, which I've used in every handfasting I've performed to date.
The Seven Bindings are a part I borrowed from my friend Beth; I first saw her use them for a friend's handfasting a few years ago. Each Binding uses a ribbon, and Christine opted to use the seven chakra colors, one for each of the ribbons. It goes as follows:

Thomas and Christine, I have some questions for you.
Do you truly love each other and choose to affirm that love today?
"We do."
Thomas, will you burden her?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
Christine, will you burden him?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
(To Both) Will you share the burdens of each other so that your spirits may grow in this union?
"Yes"
And so the binding is made.
(First cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Christine, will you cause him pain?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
Thomas, will you cause her pain?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
(To Both) Will you share each other's pain and seek to ease it?
"Yes"
And so the binding is made.
(Second cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Thomas, will you share her laughter?
"Yes"
Christine, will you share his laughter?
"Yes"
(To Both) Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
"Yes"
And so the binding is made.
(Third cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Christine, will you share his dreams?
"Yes"
Thomas, will you share her dreams?
"Yes"
(To Both) Will you dream together to create new hopes and realities?
"Yes"
And so the binding is made.
(Fourth cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Thomas, will you cause her anger?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
Christine, will you cause him anger?
"I may"
Is that your intent?
"No"
(To Both) Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
"We will"
And so the binding is made.
(Fifth cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Christine, will you heal his wounds?
"I will"
Thomas, will you heal her wounds?
"I will"
(To Both)
Will you offer healing to each other in times of need?
"We will"
And so the binding is made.
(Sixth cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

Thomas, Will you honor her?
"I will"
Christine, will you honor him?
"I will"
(To Both) Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?
"We shall never do so"
And so the binding is made.
(Seventh cord is tied around Christine & Thomas’s wrists)

I like this because it acknowledges that yes, sometimes there are going to be fights and disagreements. But it also acknowledges that their relationship is stronger than the dispute, and they can weather it. (The audience did have a laugh at the first binding, when I asked Tom if he would burden her. Caught up in the "I do" vibe, he said, "Yes!" and then caught himself and said, "oh, wait, um, no!")

The Eight Sacred Blessings are something I first wrote in 'The Green Prince's Father', and which I've used on every handfasting and wedding I've done since. They are a way of offering the blessings of the spirits and the elements. They are:
We honor this union with simple blessings, spoken with love by friends and family.
We give you the blessing of air, in wind and thought. May the winds bring you many joys.
We give you the blessing of fire, of warmth and passion. May the flames of love fill both your hearts.
We give you the blessing of water, changing and flowing. May the deep well of emotion be yours.
We give you the blessing of earth, constant and stable. May the foundation of earth keep you at peace.
We give you the blessing of spirit, of the mysteries of life. May the wisdom of the universe be yours to share.
We give you the blessing of the sun, bringer of life. May his warmth and radiance fill you with joy and health.
We give you the blessing of the moon, lady of mystery. May her ever-changing face guide you through life’s changes.
We give you the blessing of the stars, distant and serene. May their light bring you guidance and tranquility.
As a change of form that I hadn't considered, but which I thought worked well, the second part of each line was printed in the wedding program, making it a call-and-response for the audience. So I said, "We give you the blessing of air, in wind and thought,", and the audience replied with "May the winds bring you many joys." Nice touch!

I do have a speech disability and I'm always concerned that it's going to get in the way. I feel that it did, briefly, but the families took it in stride and nobody seemed offended by it.

All in all the day was a resounding success. Even the DJ had fun, dressed up in a Merlin costume, complete with huge pointy hat.

To my dear friend Christine, and my new friend Tom, congratulations!! And may the future ahead be as bright as the love that showed in your eyes at the wedding.