The Blond Hair of Desperation

As you may recall, I cut off all my hair the day after my wedding. I don’t regret that decision, taking a page from Emma Watson, I figured it would be the perfect “well that forced long hair business is OVER AND DONE WITH and so is this entire phase of my life” healing moment. It garnered me a lot of complements about my bravery and bone structure and who doesn’t like hearing nice things about themselves.

But I grew tired of it quickly. My hair is really too coarse and unmanageable to regularly look good that short. It made me way more sensitive about gray hairs (as did my ever-dwindling twenties. Relatedly: I’m 29! It’s my birthday! All shall love me and despair!). It was boring. I missed my curls.

So I started the incredibly painful process of growing it out, which is finally about 90% done.

Along the way, I unadvisedly dyed my hair blonde. And I see Ms. Hathaway is going through the exact same post-pixie process. Although looking a million times better, because a) movie star beauty b) I assume, a world-class colorist.

You see, when you are forced into hating your hair because you are tired of your pixie and the awkward process of growing it out, bleaching it can seem like a great way to change it/punish it. Moreover, bleaching your hair seems much less foolhardy and intimidating when you only have a couple of inches of it.

And then there is the second layer of the desperation: I dyed my hair blonde out of boredom and out of malaise set on by experiencing a double winter from my inter-hemisphere move. I dyed it because I was living an unusually isolated life so even if it looked terrible not too many people would see it. I imagine the post-Oscar-win recluse period feels similar.

Anyway, I never had as blonde or as awesome hair as Hathaway is rocking here, because it’s hard to blondify dyed brown hair (I dyed my hair to banish the aforementioned grays). It was a failed experiment and I’m a million times happier with the in-between fake color I now have. But it’s nice to see I’m not the only person who succumbed to the blond hair of desperation.

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