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Month Two begins

Since Maniac mcpee became Lollipop, it has already been a month. I will celebrate by participating in the Dr. Skullthumper writing contest. I like Skully. He's a good admin. Him and Leddy should both get awards for quietest admins. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 14:29, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

I peed

Hey Lollipop. I wrote the review for you. Before you start throwing rotten lollipops at me, make sure you understand everything I've said. Thanks! ---Ihave atalkingzombie 15:19, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

It actually is. Every edit to a page has been recorded in page history. For every article, userpage, talkpage...just click the 'view history' tab. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 17:06, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

Lollipop, i'm not a total n00b. I've worked on Wikia for a while. That was a joke. Anyway, can I start working on On The Run? ---Ihave atalkingzombie 17:11, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

Hey! I have an idea!!

Are you annoyed at all of the tedious requests for Lollipops by the Users of Uncyclopedia? Why not get a Bot? It could give randomly selected people a Lollipop once every couple of days. Call it something Jazzy, such as " The Lollipop Bot™ ". It could also perform tedious manual tasks other than delivering Lollipops, not dissimilar to that of Bot of an unregistered user. What do you think? - LOLvandalz 19:51, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

That would be a good idea, but it couldn't be randomly selected users. Dancing dude was once banned for giving his dances to random users. Now they have to sign up for it so he won't get banned anymore. Just saying. -- 21:25, March 21, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpostOnTheDelivery

Hello folks, I don't usually write this, but at the time of writing, there's only 3 days left till this shit is meant to get published, so I figured I might as well bore you with my diatribe in lieu of Chief's usual rampant drivel. PLEASE BARBAREBEER BEAR WITH ME.

It certainly has been an interesting week; for starters, the April Fool's ideas have been coming in thick and fast - so far, people seem very vocal about switching the site's skin to the Wikia one, which people are naturally rather divided about in equal measure - your dear Editor personally thinks that showing people what the world would be like if Hitler won the war is obviously a winner; all hail the Wikia skin.

Meanwhile, our wonderful temporary admins have been temping around, deleting, banning, breaking, fixing and verbing Uncyclopedia with great tenacity. Not to mention that an article with some actual political and historic accuracy was featured recently, and deservedly so. If you haven't read it yet, DO IT FAGGOT.

The Hourly writing contest came and went; amazingly, 5 out of 7 articles made the cut, thanks in no part to cronyism or vote-rigging, let me assure you. Indeed, the result was so encouraging that another one is planned for the near future, so if you have the time and inclination to wake yourself up at 4am to ultimately have the fruits of your labour ruthlessly shot down in flames and extricated from the site, please do so.

Finally, Armageddon was narrowly avoided this week after Lyrithya decided the best use of her temporary adminship would be to nuke VFD - resulting in the already teetering Wikia servers completely shitting themselves due to the article having OVER NIIINE THOUSAND edits (actually, over 96,000), and thus making the article restoration page fail to load. Hence, a wave of panic ensued both on the Village Dump and the evil perpetrator's talk page until Olipro managed to trick MediaWiki into restoring it through a spot of form element manipulation.

Hey guys! Thanks for reading this except from a new trilogy of non-fiction books that I am currently writing as part of my job. The books are based on the events of World War I. This is an excerpt from last page of the last book. Please let me know what you think of it on my talkpage!

Over at Wikipedia they have their very own page to tribute the idiocy of their administrators. It even has a cute template to declare that they are trying to be amusing. We need no cute template and we need no stocks, either, since saying our administrators are foolish would be cause for immediate execution under the 'hedonistic-fascist-aristocratic-regime-that-refuses-to-recognise-my-brilliance' act of 2011.

However for this week, we have made a special exception and Lyrithya is going to be the lucky administrator to be on the receiving end, having done something so monumentally stupid that it appears in two UnSignpost stories and takes up the entire "From our logs" section for this week. Normal people, when hearing someone in the pub say, "Wouldn't it be funny if we went to Canada and pretended to be bears for 2 years?" would laugh and imagine how stupid actually doing that would be. Lyrithya is not such a person, and would already have bought a bear costume and be paddling about in Canadian rivers catching Salmon before you could say 'nitwit'. The metaphorical bear costume and river in Canada for this week is VFD, and the hilarious suggestion the deleting of the same. Lyrithya did it, couldn't fix it because of the massive edit history, and would probably still be trying to fix it had Olipro not stepped in and saved the day.

The seat of the UnSignpost editor has itself sat in UnSignpost HQ for years now. It was in this very chair that Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper first made the first UnSignpost and it was in this chair that Under user mused upon the problem that confronts every editor of this proud periodical: "What on Earth am I writing about this week?". Over the years it has seen joy and it has seen sadness, and we here at the UnSignpost felt the time was right to recognise it for its incredible contribution to the UnSignpost and because Olipro spent this week sitting in it.

This is a new part of the UnSignpost. Basically, every week a headline will be placed here and your challenge (if you can be bothered) is to write an article related to the pre-selected headline. It should be at least moderately relevant to the headline and you should create it in your userspace and notify us; we will then pick the funniest one(s) - Where headlines are polemic, two opposing ones will be specified so you can choose which side you want to take. If nobody can be bothered to write one, we'll just invent another.

Well actually, a virus I've had before called security tool started down loading on my computer. It was real, and I didn't see anything about penis enlargement... -- 01:24, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

Check the recent changes

On Smakapedia wiki. Did I do good? （・∀・） - LOLvandalz 21:47, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

Writing articles

Hey, I was on IRC when you brought your Peekaboo article to everyone's attention. While I agree with a lot of what was said, namely your tendency to use Uncyc in-jokes, basic lies and name-dropping, I also saw some potential in the article and wanted to swing by and give some advice while you revise it. First, I'm sure you're familiar with this. Read it, hate it, but understand it; you'll be a better writer. Second, I wrote a Pee Review for another article that suffered from the same problems yours is, that you can find here. Read it, hate it, but understand it, and ask any questions you have here or on my talk page. ~ Talk 06:38, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

I fixed up Peekaboo a bit, I took Jello Mold's suggestions. I removed a large part of the intro and I am working on a picture currently. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 01:05, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

It's getting there. I doubt you'll ever get a feature for this, but keep it up and I'm sure the ICU tag will get taken off. The main thing that I can tell you about writing comedy is that it isn't easy; it takes time. I notice from the article's history page that you've spent less than 50 minutes writing it. Maybe you work quick, but all I can say is that most of my topical UnNewses take at least 3 hours to write, while the ones that don't have a timeframe get stewed for several days apiece. I recommend slowing down, taking your time, and really thinking about what you're saying. Ask yourself Why is this funny? Will other people find this funny? and What am I saying about this topic that makes it witty? Anyone can put in the minimal effort and create some filler material. Go the extra yard, put in the extra thought, and make it feature worthy. ~ Talk 04:32, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

DJ Mixerr is right, this is a very exceptional thing you've done. I think it's alright if I give you the Feather in Your Cap award. This is actually a big deal, and isn't handed out lightly. You certainly deserve it for your initiative and innovation on both pushing for, and then setting up, the Youtube channel. Aleister 1:14 28-3-'11

Feather in Your Cap AwardThis person has done something very helpful for Uncyclopedia,and thus is deserving of a Feather in their Cap. Respect this person.

Is it a legal thing with wikia, or concern over the quality of videos? Maybe vids can be voted on or off the page, for quality control. Aleister 1:59 28-3-'11

It wouldn't be a legality issue so much as an issue with quality and authority over it. Plus, there'd be a certain expectation that it'd remain updated, meaning a steady flow of good videos. /my thoughts.MegaPleb•Dexter111344•Complain here 02:12, March 28, 2011 (UTC)

*Achoo!*

Excuse me. Anyway, it looks to me that you voted for on HowTo:Become a Master of Disguise and were inducted into the brotherhood of disguise masters. Well guess what? It made it into featured queue, which entitles you to the golden Groucho Marx glasses award. Congratulations.

This is your UnSignpost speaking

Everything that has a beginning has an end, with the possible exception of the autobiography of Wayne Rooney; our literary correspondent was unable to complete it after an unfortunate fire rendered the text unreadable.

The sun is now setting on the time of the temporary admins. For the last month, they have all been mucking in with the rest of the administrators and eating other people's biscuits at the weekly cabal meetings and now it is time for them to go. On Friday the bureaucrats will arrive and the mythical user rights log will appear on recent changes for the gratification of the eagle-eyed Uncyclopedian.

So how did they do? Sources close to the temporary admins have chosen to move further away because of the smell, so we haven't been able to ask them anything. The occupational hazard of needing to know things has never stopped the relentless march of journalism before, however, and today shall be no exception.

Hyperbole, the eternally wronged victim of Uncyclopedia, has been deleting and banning consistently over the last month and has generally been annoyingly useful. Reportedly he has been "asking questions" when he doesn't know something; clearly he is not sysop material.

Lyrithya has been the most visible temporary admin, and her screams at the last Cabal meeting as she was punished for deleting VFD were described as "Most invigorating" by Mhaille, who, due to the nature of that quote, has expressed a wish to remain anonymous. Curiously, despite her undiscriminating use of the delete button, Lyrithya seems inordinately keen not to ban users for long periods of time, citing "Feeling sorry for them" as her reason. Clearly she is not sysop material.

Sockpuppet of an unregistered user has been a useful admin and, intelligently, has not drawn attention to himself; an ideal candidate for the mantle of sysop. He is, however, from Belgium; make of that what you will.

PuppyOnTheRadio doesn't know what a sysop is, but thinks that it would be a splendid way to spend an afternoon, so he has. He has been the least active of the temporary admins and thus is the most obvious candidate for induction to the order. He is Australian, by the way, from Australia. Ask him about his pet Kangaroo, he must have one, he is an Australian from Australia.

Olipro was good enough to give his thoughts to the UnSignpost, saying, "And thus, our great experiment in finding out what happens if you rig yourself to a bomb and give the detonator to a pack of monkeys is over." See you next week, hopefully April Fools Day will happen before then and it will be brilliant, because if there is one thing Uncyclopedia is not short of, it is fools.... and days for them to be fools on.

There is something in the air at Uncyclopedia - it's the smell of competition... and cheese. This is the news that over the next month there will be several competitions to encourage creativity and general brilliance from the community. The first of these is the second round of the hourly writing competition, the first round of which ran a couple of weeks ago. Entrants have an hour to write an article and then a further hour is given over to voting to delete or keep those articles. The last round ran very well, with the majority of the articles entered being kept as a result. If you want to take part in the second round then you only need to sign up here... and then turn up on Saturday.

So if you aren't planning on creating a single new article/image in the next few weeks and throwing it onto the great bonfire of creativity which, as we all know, is burning at the core of Uncyclopedia, then you should definitely think about it. Probably. Unless you don't want to, which is cool, I guess.

05:24, March 25, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.87.254.115 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (If I was a real admin, I'd have some sort of witty block reason to back this up. So sorry.)

00:06, March 24, 2011 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (The cabal wishes it: Wikicide. I shall rise again on the third day. Suck it, Jesus!)

Biopic of the Week

Oliphaunte's arrival on Uncyclopedia has made several people very happy: Black flamingo11, because he can finally have the child he always wanted without any of that horrible fumbling about. ChiefjusticeDS is happy because he has someone to biopic this week, and everyone at PEEING is thrilled because there is finally some competition for the Reviewer of the Month trophy. However Oliphaunte has shunned the offering of awards and has focused solely on trying to help through his reviews, and amuse through his writings; truly a splendid fellow.

The non-existent Cabal, however, has expressed some non-existent concern at his disregard for the shiny baubles dangled before him; refusing awards on Uncyclopedia is like refusing a bagel in Israel. Highly suspicious behaviour. One for all Mossad agents users to shoot on sight say hello to if they see him.

Found art

I think I found another artwork for your gallery. It is in fact very good, and shows years of training in the arts of painting and composition. Aleister 21:31 31-3-'11

Hello! Lollipop

Smakapedia has completely fell arse over tits with it's administration. There nothing but outright banning each other and the Russian bloke has de-sysop'd everyone and made it his own personal workspace. Just saying. (ﾟ∀ﾟ) - LOLvandalz 20:44, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

Also, the joke of "Game:On the Run/About" was because I was trying to make it look like an video-game instruction manual, so I try to removed the black game background and made it look like an instruction manual. Plus, with specific style of writing. - LOLvandalz 21:01, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I might attempt to bring Trar to help you if he says yes. He's on IRC a lot. He created Grueslayer you know. So I think it could work if he agrees to work on it. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 21:07, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I'm unable to go on IRC anymore, so You will have to ask him. - LOLvandalz 21:10, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I don't even know what it is.... Looks like a Grueslayer-themed YTMND to me. Or have I just looked at too many of them? I think he would be embarrassed to mention that though. - LOLvandalz 21:28, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

Trar likes the game, and agrees to help, but he said whenever he is ready to make a comeback, he will work on it. He wants us to work on it, and he'll join us soon. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 22:08, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I've added to the plot. Here it all is in full.

"

A man (The same one who appeared in 2012 original) comes across the Tombs of the Aztecs, and soon attempts to plunder it's riches. He comes across a man called "Sleeze" who tries to help him out of his poverty-stricken situation, and soon helps him uncover various traps.

"

Throughout, Various people come and go, often giving out help and Advice. It also has 31 different locations, which the player later Acquires from a merchant a map, which allows for easy access to the many different areas and side quests. There are also nods to classic PDP-10 TA's such as ADVENT and other, earlier homecomputer games. Also, It could feature an epic (At least for an Uncyc game!) Boss, with proper RPG battling and everything! What do you think?

I will hate you forever!!!!

The penis lollipop was one of the best flavours. I had your dad's last night.... - LOLvandalz 21:40, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

It has already been removed from the Lollipop Shop menu and catalog. But it can be restored to Magic man's userspace, I requested that to TKF. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 21:45, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I can attest to what Another n00b said, I was there. Anyway, thanks. -- 21:46, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

I always enjoyed sucking your dad's almost exquisite penis Lollipops. It was like tucking into a jam roly-poly, except they don't scream when you molester them. - LOLvandalz 21:48, April 2, 2011 (UTC)

It looks rather strange, but it will do. （ ^_^） - LOLvandalz 16:58, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
I know the map looks Bare-bones now, but it only needs a bit of extra help. I was also thinking of how the game could be set out, and it is going in a Pitfall/Wasteland parody. The areas of the game could be plotted out in full detail, rather like the New Zork games. Hoping you will like it. - LOLvandalz 16:39, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

The brand new, CONTROVERSIAL Lollipops

You could make Bathwater flavoured Lollipops, entitled "Sex on a beach", Or you could make Licensed, Zork branded Lollipops for the Consumerists! ( Sorry for slow typing my spacebar is broken ) - LOLvandalz 17:03, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

RC has already spun off his version of lollipops (see Olipro's talkpage). You could make your own, just copy the lollipop template and start delivering your own. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 17:15, April 3, 2011 (UTC)

Back to the Topic on 2012 II

I've made about 49 extra pages. Most, if not all of which go into Hyper-detail on the content's of Sleeze's House. In fact, I reckon this game's gonna have at least 900 pages when where done with this game if we go into as much detail as we have on Sleeze's house. I've also added a few extra characters: The mutant cop and the Gypsy woman. Both of witch can be Bartered with and used in deep and casual conversations. What do you think? - LOLvandalz 20:36, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

Good, you're doing well. But please, I have a task for you. At the beginning, where the option is examine bat's note; try to somehow connect where you are now to that area. Thanks. --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 21:10, April 4, 2011 (UTC)

I've been trying my Absolute best to try and find a way of stabilising the map. Why? If you center the map, it comes out like this:

...And you've licked on it an awful lot. All of which where later forwarded to Smakapedia's Clyde the Tomato, who later had an Orgy party with a bunch of Scottish Chavs. I Don't know why. - LOLvandalz 21:11, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Terribly creative UnSignpost header

As you would expect, April Fools day is a very important day for Uncyclopedia; since we have devoted so much time to being fools, we are expected to be able to come up with something suitably hilarious for April 1st. However as the evening of March 31st drew to a close and all of you were relaxing in your homes/shelters/kennels and chuckling at the last issue of this splendid periodical, frantic discussions were taking place over the use of the Conservapedia skin that had been created specially for the occasion.

Several users found the idea of using the Conservapedia skin to be highly unoriginal, so in the spirit of democracy it was cast to one side and three people decided to apply Wikia's wonderful Monaco skin to the entire wiki. This was an unforgivable abuse of power and position; if you would like to register a protest against such action then please drop into Uncyclopedia HQ where a customer service representative will be able to help you.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Monaco skin and had lives to lead on April 1st, we dispatched one of our roving reporters to deep behind enemy lines to soak in the atmosphere. He returned and informed us that spending a long time looking at the Wikia skin can cause pre-mature ageing, rectal bleeding and sudden blindness, in that order, if you are one of the lucky ones.*

The impact of the skin on Uncyclopedia was sudden and varied massively. Some people got angry, some turned off javascript to escape the pain and some laughed at the people doing the above. The UnSignpost was able to visit Olipro, the mastermind behind the reskin, and find out what he thought its impact had been. "It was a raging success," he enthused from behind the safety glass, "and by "raging" I mean people were going fucking mental." After the interview, we departed Dexter111344's Home for People Who Be Trolling, leaving Olipro sniggering at YouTube videos and receiving occasional electric shocks. We are told this is an essential part of his treatment.

The reskin divided the community into those who could turn the reskin off, those who couldn't and those who were just so angry that all they could do is create forums about the consequences for Uncyclopedia and the world in general.

The reskin was removed shortly after midnight on April the 2nd, apparently because of AIDS. Happy April fools day; perhaps next year we could just leave the Main Page as it is and then discuss how disgusting it is that we haven't done anything for April fools day.

As part of our commitment to being the worst at absolutely everything, we here at Uncyclopedia have taken a new and interesting course in article writing - a new trend of "hate articles". After the huge success of Fuck ChiefjusticeDS, several other writers have been eager to jump on the bandwagon of its success, with classics articles like Fuck Lyrithya (recently deleted) and Fuck Under user making increasingly prominent appearances literally everywhere. We were fortunate to sit down with Mordillo several months ago when he commented on this worrying trend, and he said, "This is a very worrying trend," among other things. We assume his feelings haven't changed, at least we hope not... One thing is certain, and that is that originality is at its lowest levels since records began, shortly after the creation of Euroipods way back in 2005. Beyond that, the only thing we can be certain of is that you should be very very worried.

Speaking of originality, a whole host of new competitions seem to be hitting the village dump and the Cabal has expressed some concern as to this trend. It reminds all citizens to abide, and to consider that competitions are like Rats, quite cool when they turn up alone or a couple of times a year, but they will strip the flesh from the bone when hundreds turn up at once. The Cabal would also like to invite you to a seminar next Wednesday as part of the ongoing "Obeying the Cabal" series; this week we are focusing on obeying despite the loss of your parents, siblings and pet hamster.

n12:27, April 5, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.255.240.25 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(each time you come back, you just prove yourself to be a bigger numpty. I wait with bated breath to see how much of a numpty you'll be in 3 months...)

Biopic of the Week

Our biopic this week focusses on someone who has recently proved that you can go away, raise a barn/have a family/learn to fly/scuba dive in space, and still not lose your Uncyclopedian mojo. JackOfSpades is this persona, and after spending some time away doing something from the above list, has burst back onto Uncyclopedia and has gotten straight down to it. He's a splendid fellow, and should you sample his Pee, you will not be disappointed. I know I wasn't. Finally, some of you have been complaining that the weekly biopic consists of nothing but cheap innuendo and swearing, all we can say is ohnoitisn't, you shitting wanker.

Hi Lollipop

So my two articles Jonah and The Romanovs got each an ICU and i fixed them so they were more truthful and less, well, idk what i did before but it was...interesting. Would you look them over?...--Purple&Pink 06:07, April 8, 2011 (UTC)

UnTV

In all seriousness, which for me is really really hard, I would like to discuss Un:TV. On IRC the other night, when the horrible news of Justin Bieber's Hair being shorn off as a stand alone article on Justin Bieber's hair, we were saying it would be good to have an UN"News article about Uncyclopedia's reaction. Then I piped in about video, and the UNTV got brought up and stuff. Any-who - One of my friends is a person of interest. I could ask to see if he could use some of his resources to produce some kind of newsvideo. He has a green screen studio so reporters could be "live on the scene" etc. Of course, it would involve have screen personalities in the city of my residence. Update before I even saved this, we talked, and he is in. </end of serious>-----KevilLipsMUN,CM,NS,3of7 23:30, April 13, 2011 (UTC)

Do you have the email user enabled? Go to preferences to see. (Note: This is the debut of my new sig.) --(talk)23:31, 13 April 2011

I am supposed to be able to get email from other users. I subscribed to the youtube channel under my gmail, which is my email but not my youtube userid which is confusing. I know. --KevilLipsMUN,CM,NS,3of7 00:12, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

The password is Poop, and the user I.D. is number 2. hahahahahah I made a poop joke, heeheeheeheeheehahahahahahaha huh? Aleister 00:52 14-4-'11

The password is Aleister has the sense of humour of a 6 year old; and the password is poop joke. Did I mention what the password was? --Lollipop-CONTRIBS-WRITINGS-SHOP-Now adopting! 00:58, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

The LULZThe LULZ - got the stuff. ps I sent you a pic of my choice for anchor and she is kissing another chick in it. --KevilLipsMUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:02, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

Yea, I was an extra in a movie she was in, but not in the same scene, but we met at a party at my person of interest friend's lot, and I showed her my bag of tricks. I have not talked with her about this, but I know she loves the camera. ----KevilLipsMUN,CM,NS,3of7 01:23, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

good to know you're with grueslayer but you really should pay attention here

It's good that you can help edit Grueslayer. I just want to let you know that you should check the Grueslayer talk page more; we're enacting a plan that will include the deletion of 95 percent of the game in order to start anew. Check the Grueslayer talk page for more info. --Trar(talk|contribs|grueslayer) 19:14, April 14, 2011 (UTC)

It has been over a year since the last VFS, over a year since the last batch of sysops were elected in the tyrannical drama-fest that lies at the heart of the Uncyclopedia powerbase, and now, amidst rampant vote-whoring and election campaigns running wild across the wiki, the voting is once more in full swing.

In proper UnSignpost fashion, however, and as part of our continued attempts to avoid overusing self-referential humour and to instead report on something that people may not have already noticed, we have sent reporters into the heart of the storm to investigate these most momentous ongoings. In all of the two minutes it took to skim the scores, it was revealed that people so far seem to really favour Lyrithya and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who already have scores of over twenty each, although they both clearly suck. Voting, however, has only been going on for all of a day, following a nomination period that likewise went on for all of a day and yet still somehow managed to result in the entire active userbase being nominated, as well as part of the inactive userbase, a couple of people only active on the IRC channel who in fact didn't even have accounts on the wiki itself until they made some for the occasion, two users who are already admins and one of whom is also a bureaucrat, and a bot... of an admin. This told us two things: Uncyclopedia standards are evidently still at an all-time low, and that our reporters needed to get out of there as soon as possible and adjourn for lunch, and not just because it was meatballs.

Of all of the candidates, however, the UnSignpost strongly backs Fnoodle, and encourages its readership to drop their previous considerations/votes and instead support this astoundingly trustworthy, reliable, useful, and friendly user, about whom there is nothing suspicious at all, to become the next new sysop.

As with all months, the usual awards have all already been forgotten about in lieu of more interesting things. So far, they look terribly riveting, with Matt lobster the only real contender for both Uncyclopedian of the Month and Writer of the Month, as well as Lockdandload taking the lead in the Noob of the Month voting, although he's probably just Matt lobster in disguise, now that we think about it. As such, we attempted to sit down with this intriguing user for an interview, but as he never showed up (possibly because we neglected to tell him), he didn't have terribly much to say about the matter.

Meantime, all the other awards, including ANotM, PWotM, FP, EGA, PotM, AotM, UGotM, and NOM NOM NOMotm, are all looking kind of neglected. RotM isn't, however. Go support that one guy along with everyone else, if you can be bothered.

Zombiebaron's Imagery Extra Va Gan Za is almost over; if you haven't submitted any beautiful paintings... er, that is, passable images yet, you only have a day, so hurry. Less than a day, really. But it can't be that hard, though, can it?

Olipro blocked 117.211.91.202 with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (protip: replacing a paragraph with "fuck" isn't a good idea)

Jack Phoenix blocked Rangersseals with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (You have been nuked. With ♥, every single American out there)

Zombiebaron blocked Black Person with an expiry time of 5 weeks ‎ (I'm not banning you because you're black, but because you felt the need to replace a page in order to convey that message to the world.)

Olipro blocked 194.81.160.18 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (fucks like you who think fish and chips is "proper food" need to be shot)

If there is one thing the UnSignpost cannot function without, one thing that is important to each and every edition that goes out to the readers, one element that enables the UnSignpost to be the UnSignpost, it is not the people, not the writers, the editors, the proofreaders, the formatters, the photographers, the deliverers, or even the readers. It is not the hypertext of which it is formed, either, or the other people's talkpages to which it is delivered and then read by shifty lurkers, or the mediawiki in which it is created. It is the filler material of which it is comprised. The UnSignpost would be nothing without filler material.

And if you intend to point out that we already biopicked this or some such, don't bother. The Complaints Department is currently on vacation, hence why this opportunity was taken to not even check first before writing up this week's biopic.

Adding to the never ending conversation, I must remind you that Puppies grow into dogs sometimes, and I am worried that Puppy is wandering away from us more and more. More treats are needed to tempt him back, and some belly rubs. And Mimo too, more treats. Al 22:47 16-4-'11