But despite the sexual revolution, there is no shortage of convincing evidence that women experience lower levels of sexual desire than men. This is one of the topics of a ground-breaking new book, Honey Money: The Power Of Erotic Capital by leading academic Catherine Hakim. As part of her research, she scoured dozens of international sex surveys whose findings explode the myth that men and women have equal sex drives. Between the sheets: But more women have said they would rather have a pet than a sex lifeIt is Hakim's belief that few people dare to challenge the feminist assumption that female sexuality has flourished after being repressed for centuries. She argues that it has reached the point where admitting you are celibate is akin to confessing you have an embarrassing disease.Yet studies across Europe show that about a third of women have low or non-existent sexual desire. And, despite the sexualised culture beats by dre solo red special edition we live in, the vast majority of these women don't consider this a problem.More...Yes, men do fall in love at first sight - I've done it four timesWhen birth is a life or death lottery: The desperate crisis engulfing NHS maternity wardsTrust me, you really DON'T want to see what your teen's up to on Facebook...In fact when it comes to what makes a woman happy, only a quarter said sex made them extremely happy --far fewer than the 42 per cent who chose owning a pet. And that's from a prestigious survey of 12,000 women in 21 countries in 2008. Another survey, this time of 58 countries, reveals that women rate their body image and appearance above having sex when it comes to the factors they consider to be important for a good life. So, asks Hakim, why is it that girls in their teens and 20s are increasingly likely to have several sexual partners before settling down? Doesn't their behaviour refute the argument that women are lagging behind when it comes to libido?Evidence suggests it does, but only on a short-lived basis. Until the age of 30, men and women are equally likely to wish they had sex more often. After that, though, the number of women no longer having sex rises sharply. Tina Jones, 39, agrees that there is a fundamental difference between men and women.IT'S TRUE ABOUT LATIN LOVERSIt turns out that sexual stereotypes have some basis in beats by dre solo hd red special edition fact,Surveys confirm that hot-blooded people in the Mediterranean countries are more sexually active than thoser living in colder Nothern Europe.IIn some African countries, couples have sex an average 440 times a year. By contrast, the raie in Western countries is around 2t5 times per year.The gap between male and female divide is greatest in Anglo-Saxon Protestant countries including Britain and America.'This myth that women have the same sex drive as men should be exploded because it isn't doing women any favours,' she says.'It has left me the single mum of two boys, by men who could not understand why I would no longer put their needs first --and their needs meant sex.'Women want sex to feel loved and reassured, but when they have small children and work pressures, sex is no longer a priority. Men, however, seem to want sex all the time, and if they don't get it, they become frustrated,' says Tina, an administrator from Essex.Surveys reveal that a woman's interest in sex declines faster than a man's after the first two years of a relationship. The consequence? Many men are left feeling frustrated. Hakim says this is partly down to couples starting a family; bearing and bringing up children diverts a woman's attention and frequently causes a decline in her sexual desire.Tina says her libido diminished after the birth of her two sons, now 16 and eight. She says:'The boys are by different fathers, and both relationships broke up because I went off sex after I had the children. Neither partner could understand that I was so exhausted running after a small child that the only thing I wanted to do when I got into bed was fall asleep.'Both my ex-partners got angry about that. Men don't seem to understand that sex is not the be-all and end-all for women. Both of them felt that if I didn't want sex, that must mean I didn't love them.'In fact, there are many more celibate marriages than we realise. One in five British women aged 45-59 has been celibate for more than a year. One of them is 50-year-old Louise Randall.'For about the past year, my partner James and I have had a celibate relationship,' she says.'My libido dipped so sharply that I couldn't bear to be touched. I think it special edition beats by dr dre is linked to being pre-menopausal. James has tried to be understanding, but the experience has taught me just how much men rely on sex.'Louise works in finance and lives in Guildford with James, 46, who works in management. She says:'Before we got together six years ago, I was married for ten years. That relationship broke down after we stopped having sex. Men find it almost impossible to live without sex, whereas women can happily go without sex for years.' Not tonight love: According to the survey most women's interest in sex declines two years into the average relationshipSome wives have gone off sex but beats by dre solo hd special edition still agree to it occasionally. In Hakim's book, she mentions a survey of 100 Australian couples who were asked to keep daily sex diaries for nine months --the wives were discovered routinely to be using sex as a bargaining tool.Psychologist Bettina Arndt, who conducted the study, discovered that a wife would typically withhold sex to punish her husband for not doing what she wanted. Alternatively, she would offer sex to persuade him to do something, or to reward him for helping out in the home.The strategy worked because the husbands almost invariably wanted sex more than their wives did. As one of the women said:'Most of the time he just gets smacked away, but every now and again I feel bad for him, and sad that he's rejected all the time.'However, Hakim says that a consequence of this imbalance in desire is that married men are twice as likely to have flings or extended affairs as married women. Unlike most women, men also indulge in porn, a fantasy land where, significantly, females appear to have equal sexual desire. So was the beats dr dre solo hd red special edition sexual revolution little more than a short-lived mirage? Hakim argues that for men it was a boon because the Pill, which removed the fear of unwanted pregnancy, became available at the same time as feminist demands for equality, not least when it came to sexual fulfilment. THERE ISN'T A LOT OF IT ABOUTThe sex surveys analysed by Catherine Hakim revealed that far fewer people are gay than was once assumed. The Kinsey report, a seminal American sex study conducted in the Fifties, suggested one in ten men and women was homosexual. However the truth, according to more recent sex surveys, is that only one to two per cent of the population have homosexual inclinations or take part in homosexual activities --which is fewer than one in 50 people.Young women found themselves under pressure to have sex to prove they were'normal', and it soon became acceptable for them to be as sexually experienced as men. Aids changed everything in the Eighties, provoking a return to notions about commitment and fidelity. The genie never quite went back in the bottle, however, and today women still have more lovers than they used to. Proportionally, though, men still have twice as many. In other words, the sexual revolution has not changed the overall picture much at all. Another legacy of the revolution in sexual attitudes is that many men assume they should get full sexual satisfaction whenever they want it, and that women who say no are just dr dre beats solo hd special edition being perverse.So the feminist myth of equal desire fuels some men's anger towards women who refuse to have sex. Also, the advent of the internet, which gives ready access to porn, has led to some men putting unwanted pressure on women to engage in more adventurous sex. Indeed, in all the sex studies Hakim has examined in her book, very few females were engaging in pure hedonistic sex. She says it's the old story: a woman is more likely to have sex if she has a romantic or emotional attachment to the man. She's also more interested in the emotional games leading up to the act, while a man tends to see sex as a goal in itself.Monique Carty, 34, believes men and womendiffer hugely when it comes to sex. She says:'The simple fact is that women and men want different things. I don't believe all women have a lower sex drive --I have usually had a higher sex drive than my partners--but we want different things from sex.'Men want the immediate release, then they can switch off their feelings. Women, on the other hand, view sex as a way of bonding with their partner and, while enjoying the act, are thinking beyond it about the relationship.' Monique, who lives in Luton, and is the managing director of an online retail business, adds:'Men today seem to think women can switch their sex drive on and off, but we're not robots.'Half of all men in Britain are happy to have casual sex, but almost all British women say they are not interested in having flings. Monique sums up the views of many women. She says:'I love sex but in a monogamous, caring relationship.'I am a well-off, independent woman, but I have no desire to have multiple sexual partners, whereas a man in my position probably would.'Atthe moment I'm single and not having sex, and that doesn't bother me. I'd much rather wait to meet a man who can fulfil other criteria, as well as being great in bed.'Meanwhile,Louise Randall is happy to reveal that she and her partner James are atlast starting to have sex again.'Unlike men, women need to feel loved and appreciated and to have the right body image,' she says.'Women are so easily ashamed of their bodies, which puts them off sex.'I put on weight but I have changed my diet, lost weight, and I am realising that I don't need to be perfect to enjoy sex.' Accordingto Hakim, there's plenty of statistical evidence to show that sex makesan important contribution to health, happiness, and quality of life. Economists David Blanchflower and Andrew Oswald have even succeeded in putting a monetary value on a good sex life. By their calculations in 2004, it was worth an extra $50,000 a year --that's about
Related articles: