no darling - she claimed 4 pregnancies and miscarriages as one of my DCS got heart failure and was on ITU twice, another big bereavement in my family. MY DC is awaiting the heart op not her.

So no I am not full of empathy when she has a bereavement, pulls the drama queen and gets herself admitted to hospital. A grown adult needs her hand held all day rather than a 4 yr old having some fairly shitty tests.

Sorry for her loss but do you know what, you cry wolf a few too many times and it bites you in the backside.

My dads partner is like that. In 12 years she's had amazing terminal cancer that disappeared as if by magic; a heart murmer; heart attacks; asthma attacks and a heap of things I can't remember. The woman is always ill. Especially when dads attention is drawn to us. We're adults though we don't need him. I hope, if she is crying wolf that it backfires on her.

I'm getting splinters from the fence I'm sitting on. Does your dc know that dad was supposed to be taking him/her? If so, he's sending a pretty crappy message. I would also says it's pretty hypocritical for him to ditch out due to his partner's (very sad) bereavement and expect you to take over, when he wouldn't take over for you.

No after the hell those two have put me through - they deserve each other.

Just want the DCs to have a Dad who does not put his latest bit first and does not let them down,everytime because she takes priority.

I wanted to go and view my parents body prior to the funeral involving a 200 round mile trip. He could not sit with DC that day because she was drama queening. Sadly i can predict when the op happens in the next few weeks, she will have another crisis which will prevent him seeing them on the ward. I hurt for my DCs who come last after his current DP, her kids and her family every time

She is not pregnant - has never been pregnant in the last year.Conveniently finds herself pregnant a few days after our latest trouble and then when it settles she has a miscarriage - it is now a standing joke.

I was expecting that as the excuse this time, she can not in anyway be blamed for the bereavement, I would not wish it on anyone, even though we all go through it eventually.

DC knew Ex was going to hospital and excited 'cos Daddy was going to hold hands not mummy for a change! Explain that to a 4 yr old

You get yourself hospitalised by sticking your fingers down your throat and vomiting so many times, refusing drink and water, you get dehydrated- she has done it before.

It's shitty when parents don't put their child first in situations like this, he sounds as if he is detached and un bonded with your child,

How hideous for you, nothing worse than your child being hurt by a parent,

You may have to accept he will never be the dad you wanted for you DC even in a little way,

she is playing power games, shrug the pair of them off, I would try to ignore them from now on, let him make the effort if he wants to,but don't waste anymore energy on them,

a normal person no matter what was going on for them would send their partner off to tend a child in its hour of need, she resents your child, if she feels the need to compete with it for attention, be careful with that one, she clearly didn't want a second hand man with baggage.

withdraw any unnecessary contact or communication, people like this feed of the energy, stop fuelling her.

OP, this is terrible behaviour from this woman, and I completely understand your anger at the pair of them. Like you, I don't believe she's had all those mc (and am astounded at her cruelty), but do you think your ex does? Does he buy her act?

Sadly, I think its going to come to a point where you can't figure him in your childcare arrangements, which is completely unfair on you Do you think there will come a time that he will see through her lies?