But it can go too far. When it becomes an obsession, especially when paired with porn, that's where the subreddit r/NoFap comes in. Named after a slang term for masturbation, r/NoFap may be the largest internet resource for people looking to stop or take a break from the activity.

Why would anyone feel the need to join such a group? Some, like Reddit user HardModeSoldier, believe sustaining from masturbation will allow their sexual energy to be better channeled: "I would tell my younger self one thing: retain. Retain your vital energy and use it to better your life."

Some want more will power, like user getovered, who writes "[Pornography and masturbation] is the only comfort I have. I have no will power left to purpose PMO"—that's "porn, masturbation, orgasm" in NoFap-speak—"after I go through my self-improvement list. I am not at all disciplined." Others feel that frequent interactions with porn and masturbation lead to "social anxiety, not been able to flirt back, depression, suicidal thoughts, tiredness, easy to anger, lustful thinking, anxiety."

Whatever a person's reasoning, this large and active Reddit community is there to offer support, give advice, and promote what many in the group see as a healthier way to live.

A staple are the sub's monthly challenges, which task subredditors with abstaining from masturbation for 30 days. Every month, a stickied post appears at the top of the page, and people announce their intention to take part for the first time or to continue an ongoing personal challenge. Those who've gone longer stretches without masturbating post encouraging messages about how they've disciplined themselves or survived brushes with temptation, and how others can do the same. Then there are cautionary tales from those who've had relapses... And a surprising amount of inspirational posters.

NoFap is a true niche community with its own labels and language. Adherents call themselves "Fapstronauts." They swear off "PMO." Some go for "hardmode," which means no masturbation and no sex.

Long-term abstainers claim a list of health benefits, some of which are admittedly more believable than others. Most say they've gained a sense of greater reflection about their impulses and reaped benefits from self-discipline.

"It was SO easy for me to get work done on nofap, my brain fog (which I always attributed to my ADHD) was completely gone and I was producing stuff like a madman," OldGeezer72 said in his report on what he felt after 30 days without masturbating. "My anxiety has pretty much vanished. My confidence to step up to the plate and approach people and situations has tremendously increased!"

Other people use the word "superpowers," sometimes facetiously, sometimes seriously, to describe what they derive from not fapping. Crazyrj14, who claimed 700 days of hardmode, posted about his "skin looking better, eyes brighter, beard and hair is stronger/thicker/darker, naturally connecting with people, sharper, stronger, calmer, grounded, POWERFUL!"

If there's actual science behind these anecdotal claims, it's difficult to locate. The only study I found focused on a group of men who abstained from masturbation for three weeks. It merely reported that abstinence created "elevated levels of testosterone in males."

Long-term abstainers claim a list of health benefits

NoFap began in June 2011 and grew quickly into a full-on business based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. It's rare for a subreddit to take this route, but NoFap took its supportive framework and began charging for motivational content. The main business website, NoFap.com, contains its own separate forums, an "academy" of motivational content (starting at $30 a month), a merch store selling promotional gear like NoFap logo mugs and Fapstronaut T-shirts, and a panic button for those thinking about relapse.

The official business press kit wants to make it very clear that NoFap is not a "movement," not anti-masturbation, not anti-sex, not religious, and not solely for those addicted to pornography. In fact, the company positions itself as a self-help-styled motivational platform.

"NoFap is a comprehensive sexual health platform, empowering people to express their sexualities free from compulsive behavior. Our main focus is porn addiction recovery," NoFap's company overview reads. "NoFap informs its users to abstain from pornography, masturbation, and sometimes even sex altogether, for a period of time. Rebooting the brain by abstaining from some combination of these behaviours, but always from porn, has freed many of our users from compulsive pornography use."

(NoFap the business did not respond to requests for an interview, and moderators of the subreddit declined to comment.)

Though the official messaging in the sub is that r/NoFap welcomes both men and women, it will probably come as no surprise that the community is largely male. There is the rare post from a woman now and again. But most of the posts having to do with women are about how to use whatever you gain by not fapping to attract them.

And things get a little... complicated.

Image: Reddit

The discussions on r/NoFap occasionally mirror those found in r/TheRedPill, a subreddit dedicated to teaching men to be more "alpha" and spreading ideas like the "myth of female oppression." Many of the men who take part in NoFap believe that viewing porn and excessive masturbation has distorted their relationship with women.

"Let them chase you. Stop putting them on pedestal. You are doing NoFap, you are already ahead of millions of men," user pafo37 said in a post. "You have confidence, testosterone everywhere, deep voice, eye contact... Focus on yourself, improve yourself, YOUR needs are priority, put yourself first. Be that guy that women dream about. You have all the tools to be that alpha guy. Act like one!"

And it's not uncommon to see posts on r/TheRedPill that praise the ideas behind r/NoFap. Both subreddits ultimately deal with sexuality, and given the male dominance of r/NoFap, it tends to be male sexuality.

"Lately I went hardmode on NoFap... the effect so far, has been profound," askerman97 wrote in a post on r/TheRedPill. "Ever since I have made this change I feel almost zero social anxiety - not even that subtle anxious feeling in my chest. [E]ver since this change I feel no approach anxiety whatsoever and have more of an IDGAF attitude. Girls approach me more now."

The groups aren't identical, but it doesn't take a lot of reading to recognize r/TheRedPill ideas in r/NoFap and vice versa.

Still, by and large, r/NoFap is a support group, and a potentially beneficial one for whatever reason people choose to stop masturbating — even if those benefits are just a placebo. Many posters attempt introspection, evaluating their own reasons for wanting to view porn and aspiring to better themselves through this practice. Additionally, the vast majority of commenters are positive and kind, which conceivably provides an environment conducive towards personal growth.

There's also plenty of shame that appears in posts, with people putting themselves down for impulses and offering hangdog admissions of relapsing. Though few of the many posts I read spoke of specific faith, there is something a bit puritanical in a philosophy that requires distancing oneself from self-pleasure. Masturbation still carries with it taboos that are recognized by psychologists who also tout the benefits of the activity. For some, the negative toll masturbation takes on their emotional health far outweighs any positive effects from continuing to take part.

Currently, psychologists are still debating whether addiction to porn is a "diagnosable addiction." It's not included in the most recent edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Studies have shown, however, that excess pornography can have negative effects upon people and relationships. Many in the subreddit compare it with any other type of addiction. In that case, r/NoFap provides a free, accessible way to acknowledge addiction and seek help through an experienced community of peers. For those ashamed of the perceived stigmas, this subreddit may be a safe place to begin a recovery.

However you view it, the subreddit is a fascinating outcropping of modern sexuality and the way an evolving internet culture grapples with itself.

r/NoFap is different things to different people: a supportive community to help with pornography addiction, a group encouraging self-discipline, a guide on how to get superpowers. Or simply a bad idea. However you view it, it's a fascinating outcropping of modern sexuality and the way an evolving internet culture grapples with itself. One of the earliest and most lasting aspects of the internet is how it makes pornography so accessible. As the first generations who grew up with this access struggle to deal with the lasting impact of their masturbatory habits, it seems only fitting that an internet platform could serve as a solution.

But then, aspects of r/NoFap also brush up against the rise of #MeToo and feminist movements that promote empowerment, equality, and representation for women. The belief that keeping yourself from masturbating will make women attracted to you still casts women in simplistic, male-oriented way, and not as people with complete, equal personalities.

Though its users are all around the world, NoFap seems like a distinctly American pursuit. Uncomfortably withholding pleasure from yourself to buttress a faith in greater gains harkens back to Puritanism and the blind belief in the American Dream: If you just put in the work you will succeed. But success means something different for every user. And while people may not gain superpowers or find that all women are attracted to them when they abstain, the subreddit still tinders that spark of motivation for personal growth. If people feel better harnessing their energy instead of spending it on masturbation, good for them. The larger question is how these Fapstronauts will choose to spend their newfound, excess sexual energy.

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