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Hey everyone! I know it’s hot outside where a lot of you are, and many of you will be trying to find a way to cool off this weekend. Well, I’m here to remind you to be safe when you’re out swimming at the beach or a pool with another paranoia-fueled comic about what should be a relatively safe and fun activity. Death lurks behind every corner, y’all.

Now, I realize pools are not nearly as dangerous as roller coasters, but there is still an element of risk! Sure, most of you probably know how to swim, and there are usually lifeguards around just in case. In fact, my sister used to be a lifeguard and as far as I know she did a terrific job saving lives and getting tan. But don’t put your life in someone else’s hands! Here’s a little story about a few lifeguards who really dropped the ball: