Doctor: You seem to have a dildo stuck up your rectum, how on earth did you do this?
Patient: I... I slipped and fell...
Doctor: It's ALL the way up there!
Patient: I fell hard...*Trying to avoid any eye contact at all*

XD it reminds me of that SNL sketch "Appalachian Emergency Room" there was always a redneck guy who would come in with something stuck up his bum. He'd be like, "Well, I was practicin' mah Chinese splits..."