World Cup Photos: Portugal 7–0 North Korea

TO the people of the DPRK we say hearty congratulations as the Portuguese anti-Japanese revolutionary martyrs score seven goals on the occasion of the 46th anniversary of General Secretary Kim Jong Il’s start of work at the Central Committee of the Workers’ Party of Korea. Let this be the start of ongoing and fruitful relations between Portugal and the DPRK for millennia. Tonight a parade by the National Council for the Promotion of the Reunification by Federal Pomade, the Solidarity for 5-4-1 and the People’s Solidarity for the Repeal of the “National Security Law”, aka Ronaldo’s Step-Over Cha-Cha-Cha…

If Ron weren’t a famous footballer, chicks would think he’s far too gay-ish. Which chick in their right mind would proudly walk hand in hand with a dude who happily lets pics being taken of him with a pink rose in his hair.