My idea of the day is to host an art show and auction for Hatti. I would like to assemble a few artists and have them decorate a pair of basic black high heels. Then I want to host this event in LA and auction off the heels, then send the money to Hatti to help out. All I need is some sort of motivated person to help me do this. I know the artists and can get the heels, but where is my motivation? Help!

Jennifer Pelham* kicks off her black Marc Jacobs pumps, slips out of her trim Theory blazer, and collapses on the couch. The 29-year-old corporate attorney for one of Manhattan's top law firms has just clocked another 12-hour day, and though it's over, she's having a hard time shaking off her frustrations. (A partner had eviscerated the contract she'd drafted, then left before Pelham had a chance to explain herself.) Still distracted, Pelham orders dinner—sushi, as usual—then reaches for a plastic orange prescription bottle standing on the corner of her coffee table alongside a glass pipe and blue Bic lighter, just as the cleaning lady left them. She twists off the cap, pinches off a piece of the fragrant green bud inside, gingerly places it in the bowl of the pipe, and lights up. Over the next 30 minutes, she takes three deep drags, enough to drown out the noise whirring in her head. Then she eats.

"I hate the term pothead—it connotes that I'm high 24/7, which I'm not," Pelham says, wincing. "I don't need it to get through my day. I just enjoy it when my day is over." Her nightly ritual costs only $50 a month, a pittance compared with the cost of her monthly gym membership or a Saturday night out with her fiancé, an investment banker, who occasionally smokes with her. At 5'4", slim and athletic—she ran three miles a day while in law school—Pelham insists that pot is the ideal antidote to a hairy workday: It never induces a post-happy-hour hangover and, unlike the Xanax a doctor once prescribed for her anxiety, never leaves her groggy or numb. "Look, every female attorney I know has some vice or another," Pelham shrugs, tucking her long brown hair behind her ears, her 3-carat cushion-cut engagement ring catching the light. "It's really not a big deal."

Most of us know someone like Jennifer Pelham, a balls-to-the-wall career animal whose idea of decompressing after a grueling day isn't a glass of Chardonnay but a toke (or three) of marijuana—not just every now and again, but on a regular basis—the type who stashes a pack of E-Z Wider rolling paper in the silverware drawer or keeps a pipe at the ready next to a pile of bills. According to a recent study by The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, an estimated 8 million American women smoked up in the past year—a lowball figure that reflects only those willing to cop to it. Among them is the upper-middle-class Pottery Barn set: One in five women who admitted to indulging in the previous month lives in a household earning more than $75,000 a year. They cut a wide swath across the professional spectrum, including lawyers, editors, insurance agents, TV producers, and financial biggies, looking nothing like the blotto hippie teens of Dazed and Confused or the unemployed, out-of-shape schlubsters who are a staple of the Judd Apatow canon. By all outward appearances, they are card-carrying, type A workaholics who just happen to prefer kicking back with a blunt instead of a bottle.

"I love to have a glass of wine now and again, but going out and downing sugary cocktails isn't fun for me. And drinking is so much more expensive," says Debbie Schwartz, a 28-year-old reality-show production manager who recently moved to New York from Los Angeles. Her job is relentless—15-hour days spent coordinating a million moving pieces, managing expenses, setting production schedules, and mollifying gimme-gimme talent. Her company just slashed her budget in half, which has left Schwartz scrambling to cut costs so that she won't have to lay off employees. After work, she can't think of anything she'd rather not do than throw on a pair of heels and some makeup to hit the local bars. "I'll go to the gym for an hour, then come back home and smoke a joint while I listen to jazz and read a book—I just finished The Fountainhead. It's my moment for myself before I have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. It's my bubble bath," Schwartz explains. She doesn't keep her illicit habit under wraps, either. There's no need, since several people in her office use the same "dealer"—a colleague who takes orders for their department.

If Schwartz's example proves anything, it's how ridiculously easy it is to procure pot these days. In some cities, it's as simple as ordering a pizza, delivered right to the door.

Sound reckless? Not when you consider that marijuana has already been decriminalized in 13 states. In cities like Boston and Denver, small-time pot busts are minor offenses on a par with parking violations; first-time offenders earn a token fine—$100 or so—and a talking-to from law enforcement. In California, where the distribution of marijuana for medicinal purposes was legalized in 1996, some 31,000 residents carry cards that make purchasing locally grown weed from any of the state's estimated 500 dispensaries as easy as filling a prescription at the local pharmacy. Abuse of the system is rife: "Everybody has a friend who has a card," says Gabrielle Doron, a 29-year-old L.A.-based event planner. "My friend will call me up and say, 'I'm going to the store, you want anything?' It's just not very hard to get."

Nor does getting high carry the same social stigma it did in the Reagan-era "Just Say No" heyday—back when smoking a joint was the de rigueur "special episode" of countless family-friendly sitcoms. "When I was in high school, there were certain behaviors associated with pot: promiscuity, not being career-minded, not wanting a relationship," says Schwartz. "My mom told me that people would lace pot with PCP and that I'd get hooked, or that I'd get the munchies and get fat." All baloney, Schwartz learned once she became a bona fide pothead eight years ago. She even managed to drop 25 pounds despite smoking regularly. Her secret: She eats a healthy meal right before she smokes, which seems to curb her appetite. "The munchies are absolutely something you don't have to get into," Schwartz maintains. "Of course, the desire to eat is always there. But even when I'm not smoking, I still want a cupcake."

Another myth debunked by pantsuit-clad pot lovers: that devotees hole up in their apartments in a thick cannabis stupor, blowing off friends and social commitments. "I almost never smoke alone," says 28-year-old Gina Bridges, a grants administrator for a Seattle-based nonprofit. Bridges sometimes hosts low-key dinner parties with her husband and friends, punctuated by dessert and bong hits. (She stopped smoking when she recently became pregnant.) "Alcohol makes you feel more social, but weed works in a different way. You're quieter, more contemplative. My friends and I get more in depth about specific issues," she says. What's more, Bridges says sex was much better when she was high, helping her to shed her inhibitions. "Sometimes I'd wonder, Am I doing the right thing? Am I getting him off? When I smoke, it's all about me. I'm not worried so much about what he's thinking. And it helps him enjoy it more, too, because I'm not psyching myself out," she says.

But there are caveats. Some health experts say long-term pot users, like cigarette smokers, are at increased risk for lung and neck cancer. (Actual evidence proving a causal link between cannabis and cancer is scant, however.) And thanks to technological advances in cultivating weed—hydroponics, genetic manipulation—the strains available on the market today can be five times as potent as they were in the '70s and that much more addictive, according to antidrug crusaders. (The addictiveness of marijuana is a highly controversial subject; alcohol boasts a higher rate of addiction than cannabis.) Furthermore, while it is the most widely used controlled substance in the country, marijuana remains illegal in the eyes of the federal government—in the same class as LSD or heroine—regardless of state laws that regulate its usage. More than 90 percent of Fortune 500 companies, including American Express, General Electric, and Goldman Sachs, subject job applicants to drug tests that, among other things, probe for THC, the psychoactive component in pot. Get caught with it in your system, and it's game over.

Last year, Rachel Murphy, a 36-year-old entertainment industry publicist in New York and mother of a toddler, temporarily gave up her nightly weed habit a week before taking a required urine test to secure a life-insurance policy. (She only smokes once her daughter is in bed.) Hours after the exam, she lit up. Two days later, the clinic called to say there was a glitch in the test (unrelated to drugs) and that she would have to retake it. "I was totally back on this bandwagon of smoking a lot, and I didn't want to be bothered to have to do this again," Murphy says. With three days until the test, she frantically called her cousin, an insurance agent herself, who advised Murphy to buy Ready Clean, a 16-ounce fruit punch that claims to flush out the THC in urine if ingested within 48 hours of a drug test. Rachel paid $50 and had the drink overnighted. "My husband was standing over me the morning of the test saying, 'Drink! Drink! Chug it!' I was like, 'I can't drink that fast.' He said, 'Rachel, this is serious shit. We need life insurance—we have a baby—and we can't get it because my wife smokes pot?'" One agonizing week later, Murphy got the word that she'd passed her urine test.

The white-knuckle experience became a major source of tension in her marriage, Murphy concedes, so she stopped smoking for a while. But it didn't last. "I'm sorry, but I have a stressful job, I have a baby. I need to unwind somehow, and I don't really like to drink," she grumbles. So, while hanging out with married friends, most of whom are also parents, Murphy will occasionally join in when one pulls out a baggie and starts prepping a bowl. "I got kind of uptight," she says of her weed-free phase. "And my husband was like, 'Actually, I liked you better when you smoked.'"

Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another.Ayn Rand

1 a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b : mittimus2 a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b : something pledged c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled

Passion is alive and lusting over you. This month ZaZa releases Cameo, an amazing combination of melodic spirals defined by chaos and beauty. Caressed with divine chants of ecstasy, ZaZa's sound will enchant and rapture any spirit who desires to love and be loved. With new additions like "The Call" and "Faith In The Faithless", ZaZa is the theme for your new love affair with life. Passionate, provocative and sexy. Listen and allow yourself to indulge.

Heard Polly by Nirvana this AM. Forgot how great Kurt was. Have a great day.

She is right. Somehow I have forgotten the instigating cause of my teenage rebellion. The initiator who drew me to a life of non conformism. The sound that drove me to a lifestyle of alternative chaos and divine understanding of the pain of love and to simply live. Thanks Nirvana. I still smell like teen spirit.

1. Eat organic food.2. Do daily yoga.3. Meditate daily.4. Lay off on the animals as dinner.5. Incorporate more vegetarian, vegan and raw cuisine in your diet.6. Exercise.7. Plant a garden or get a house plant.8. Lay off the TV and explore the nature around you.9. Read everything.10. Get off the Internet.

San Diego's Surf eCo has a simple message: If you want to learn how to surf watch this video instead of paying for lessons. With the money you save, you can donate to planting a tree or buy a water saving shower head. Genius! Learn to surf and donate to a dollar to plant a tree here.

Last night my boss lectured that he is promoting global consciousness through Twitter. He said that he posts 20 times a day and reaches over 1 million people with his posts of peace. Quotes from Rumi, updates on world situations, and positive are just a few of the topics he says will help reach thousands and therefor begin to change our global awareness.

Honestly, at first I seemed skeptical, but then realized that these technological devises can be used to reach millions with positive messages of peace. In my inspiration came: My Twitter Page.

Facts are simple and facts are straight.Facts are lazy and facts are late.Facts all come with points of view.Facts don't do what I want them to.Facts just twist the truth around.Facts are living turned inside out.Facts are getting the best of them.Facts are nothing on the face of things.Facts don't stain the furniture.Facts go out and slam the door.Facts are written all over your face.Facts continue to change their shape.

Lost my shape-trying to act casualCant stop-i might end up in the hospital

I . . . Who took the money?Who took the money away?I . . . It's always show timeHere at the edge of the stageAnd I, I, I, wake up and wonderWhat was the place, what was the name?We wanna wait, but here we go again...

I . . . takes over slowlyBut doesn't last very longAnd I, I, I, no need to worryEverything's under controlO - U - T But no hard feelingsWhat do you know? Take you awayWe're being taken for a ride againI got a girlfriend that's better than thatShe has the smoke in her eyesShe's moving up, going right through my heartShe's gonna give me surpriseBetter than this, know that It's rightI think you can if you likeI got a girlfriend with bows in her hairAnd nothing is better than that (Is it?)

Somebody calls you but you cannot hearGet closer to be far awayOnly one look and that's all that it takesMaybe that's all that we needAll that it takes, all that it takesAll that it takes, all it takesI got a girlfriend that's better than thatAnd she goes wherever she likes. (there she goes...)

I got a girlfriend that's better than thatNow everyone's getting involvedAs we get older and stop making senseYou won't find her waiting longStop making sense, stop making sense...stop making sense, making senseI got a girlfriend that's better than thatAnd nothing is better that this(Oh is it? )

TOMS Shoes is doing what I would like to see more people doing. And that's helping those in need. For every pair of shoes you purchase, TOMS will donate a pair to a child in need. One for one, It's a great movement. So do something nice for yourself and others by picking up a pair at http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LnRvbXNzaG9lcy5jb20= . As an added bonus, if you enter the promo code MIKERELM, you will receive $5 off your purchase. It's great to be a part of this!

1.Which of these are you most likely to use as a greeting?"Hello, good to see you.""It's me, dears!""Piss off.""Bonjour, sweetie."

2.Which of the following is your favourite drink?Anything more than 70% proof.Appletiser.A nice cup of tea.Bolly, darling.

3.Which is your favourite place out of the following?Anywhere with a cabinet full of prescription medication, cigarettes and no natural light.Somewhere you can fill in your 'Puzzler' magazine.The Tate Modern - awe-inspiring and open to interpretation.Anywhere on Bond Street - hell, you'd probably lick the pavements to be in with the crowd.

4.What are you most likely to be doing on a Saturday night?Bed at 8pm, just after Coronation Street, dear.Having a nice quiet evening in with some hot cocoa and Radio 4.Having drinks with some fabulous people in a fabulous little place.On your back.

7.What would your say your figure is like?Tremendous. All of my drinking pays dividends.Dumpy, with hairy feet.Mr Gravity's not been very nice to you at all.Oafish, but still fabulous because the labels cover it up, darling.

8.What do you do when stuck in a crisis?Just keep drinking and take some meds.A crisis dear? Is that what this is?Cry for help and keep drinking.Think everything through methodically. The best solution is usually the simplest.

Seriously, does everyone need to know that I just ate a burrito and almost got hit by a car? Really? Twitter is taking over the web, promising updates on all your favorite victims. I seriously can't believe it is real. Now people can stalk you 24-7! All those randoms, knowing your every move. Knowing where you'll be, who you're with, and sometimes even what you are drinking. Are we getting just a little too virtual people? I might have to draw the line. Sorry Twitter, we are not meant to be. That is just a bit too creepy for me.

Next time someone says, I know what you did last summer, they will really mean it. Watch out for stalkers in the window, they know you like Doritos and brought you a present. Gross. Stop Twitting.

Compton's Jr Posse is an amazing program started by the amazing Mayisha Akbar. Jr Posse gives children a chance to learn about horses and ranch life. It gives children confidence, and helps keep them off the street and out of gangs.

Confronting all the myths about hitchhiking, David Choe and his cousin hit the streets. Starting out in a L.A. train yard, the duo find their way across America. This is first video of their journey East. Enjoy!

I am not sure how I found The Arab Parrot, but for some reason I am obsessed. His blog is a photo diary of sorts. He is by-coastal and loves rap music. He rocks Cross X Colors and is a Raider fan. I kind of feel like I am describing myself but I am not a long haired Arab man who thinks of himself as a parrot. Pretty awesome and gross. Rated R for Rad and Random.

I was born on March 26, 1979. I will be turning 30 this week and while others fret as they come up on that ripe age, I sit back and enjoy! Getting older just means getting radder! I mean watching all my role models still rock is just a promise that I will continue rocking despite the number I might happen to be. So don't let the man keep bringing you down. Instead rock n f-ing roll.

I came across Nikki Farquharson's blog Random Got Beautiful, and was drawn in by color! Nikki's mission was to create a space to take photos out of context and add them to a bigger idea and canvas. With this she creates a whole new concept. Through color combinations, she retells stories and creates various moods of attraction. Check it out here and see what inspires you!

I really can't tell you exactly when or where I first met Destiny, but I can tell you it was a miracle. Never in life have I met someone with such a great spirit. She always knows what to say and how to heal whatever is troubling you. She is magic!

My friend Luke Forsyth has a new band. I had them play my Short Short's Party, last summer, but the audience was not digging their experimental noise sounds. I later told Luke that they were ahead of their time and they didn't want squares liking their music anyway. I think he understood because Psychedelajawea launched a Southwest Tour. You can check out a video from their recent tour here.

Last week was the last time I saw my Grandpa Art before his passing Tuesday night. My father took me to the Bellflower hospital where he was staying. Before entering the room, my father and I had to suit up from head to toe in plastic. The nurse said this was to protect us from getting one of his illnesses. I was already upset by this blue plastic outfit which kept me at distance from Grandpa Art.

I never called Art, Grandpa till now. My Grandmother had remarried when I was about 3 or so to Art. Art was the only Grandpa I ever knew, but for some reason we were never prompted to call him Grandpa. This past Christmas, I got a gift, as always from Art and Grandma. This year it was signed Grandma and Grandpa. I was so moved by this simple gesture, that I kept the card. I wanted to keep it to remind me that I had a Grandpa.

As my father and I entered the hospital room, I noticed the view of Los Angeles. It was so vast and the buildings were so big. I knew that in Art's 90 years of life, that he had seen those buildings go up. I then wondered what it was like for Art to come to California as a Mid- West farm boy from Minnesota. These were questions that would never be answered.

I remember Art laying in his hospital bed. His eyes were closed and his false teeth were not in. I told him that I loved him. He said he loved me back. My father then asked him about the Lakers and if they were going to take the finals this year. Art said 'no'. My father and I looked at eachother. We knew something was very wrong. Art had always been a hard core Lakers fan, even back when he lived in Minnesota. When he said the Lakers were going to lose, my father and I almost cried. Ever game since then had been a test. Would they win or lose like Art said. I was nervous. I remembered Art crying when Kobe set a 61 point record at Madison Square Garden.

So now I lay here in bed. Wearing my #24 Lakers jersey, remembering the only Grandfather I ever had. Thank you Art for everything. I love you so much.

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ILOVEYOU!

who am i?

I was born in East Whitter in the Spring of 1979. I was raised in La Habra and moved to the Northern California forest in 1999. In 2006, after realizing that I had too many twigs in my hair, I moved to Portland, Or. After a stint in Portland, I ventured to New York City to study yoga. Now I have settled in San Diego, and as always, pondering on the next adventure...