How to Avoid the 7 Year Itch–Any Year of Your Marriage (Popular Series Re-post #3)

I can imagine the perfect woman for my husband–and she is not me. Now, I’m not suggesting I would rather Dave be married to someone else. What I am saying is that if I were his best friend, parent, or sibling I would have expected him to marry someone unlike me.

Dave’s perfect wife would eagerly anticipate the next shared hike together, certain she could conquer the ragged terrain of any mountain. This someone would engage in political debates, enjoy running in marathons, and read Time magazine.

Instead Dave chose a woman who’s afraid of heights, rarely reveals her political affiliation, and prefers a relaxing walk on the beach to the rush of endorphins at the end of a five-mile run. And my favorite reading material? Think Jane Eyre and Anna Karenina. I don’t remember when I read Time last.

But, Dave didn’t want perfect–he wanted me. And, after all of our years together, he still does. The remarkable part of all this is Dave is more aware of my flaws, faults, and foibles than during the early years of our marriage. He sees me clearly.

My dislike for closet doors haphazardly left open? Dave hears about it regularly. The temper that flares when we disagree about discipline? He’s been an object of that anger. My high-maintenance food ordering habits? If the avocado is fresh than I’ll have the southwestern burger, if not then I’d like the patty melt with the onion straws on the sidebut no cheese. Yes, Dave is aware of this hang-up. (He says I’m discerning; not picky.)

Despite knowing me as intimately as he does, Dave loves me all the more. What, then, is principle number three? Accept your husband for who he is. You cannot change him. When you are convinced your husband needs to change, begin praying the Lord will change you.

3 Ways to Demonstrate Acceptance Toward Your Husband

Talking Trash–Have you been around a group of women lately? Don’t join their “My Husband is an Idiot Club”. Honor him with words of affirmation–even when he isn’t nearby.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…Ephesians 4:29

Point of Reference–Extend grace and mercy to the husband you have pledged to love.

Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Ephesians 5:21

Practically Speaking- Just put the lid down yourself. He won’t mind and it will make you happy!

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