TMC: Crying happens

Somewhere in the first few months of the twins’ lives, I came to an important realization.

I had spent so much time listening to both of them cry and not being able to tend to the both of them at once. At times, this would lead me to start my own sobfest on the rocking chair in their nursery. Then I was reading a magazine article that quoted a pediatrician explaining crying is just a newborn’s way of communicating, and it doesn’t always mean there’s a crisis.

They’re almost 3 now, and I still cling to that advice. It’s even more important now that my giving into crying means teaching them that crying gets them what they want.

Andrew started on a major crying jag this weekend at church nursery. He didn’t want to leave, and very sweetly kept saying he wanted to stay and play with the women who run the nursery. He loves them both so much. But we had to go, and short of signing him over to them for life, there was nothing that could be done about this. I wanted to just fireman carry him out of there while he wailed, but one of the nursery workers (who has filled a grandmother-type role for him) wanted to cuddle him and try to settle him down. It worked for a while, then as soon as I took his hand to go he started up again.

It ended up being a tear parade through the church hallway and out to our car. But he stopped soon after I buckled him into his car seat.

People are sweet to try to settle down a crying kid, but sometimes it’s just better to let them go. This may make me a meanie, but at least it cuts the duration of the fit in half and keeps me from sobbing right along.