Uni Life

8 Lies that Movies Tell About University

There are hundreds (if not thousands) of movies about university life, and while most of them are pretty good, we’re sorry to tell you that they’re telling some porky pies about the university experience.

If you’re heading off to university, either soon or eventually, you’ve probably got a set idea in your head of what it’s going to be like. But stop right there, if you’re taking your perceptions of university from the movies, then we should probably come clean on a few lies that you’re being fed.

In any movie where the storyline revolves around university societies (step forward Pitch Perfect), the societies always have the most amazingly talented people in them. There are no bad actors in a movie drama society, not a bad note in the Hollywood acapella group and don’t get us started on the serious talent of any dance troupe in uni movie land.

We’re sorry to tell you that although you’re likely to have some talented and passionate people in university societies, you’ll also have people who have no talent in that area. And you’ll certainly experience people with no real passion for it and who are just turning up because it’s raining or because they don’t want to write their essay.

A lot of university movies have a plot of “undercover police officer who looks about 32 pretends to be a student”. So that means you should be on your guard when making friends right? Nah, don’t worry about that.

The likelihood of having an undercover police officer in your lectures at all, let alone the chances of them befriending you and then involving you in a mission towards the end of term are really minimal. Like Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum actually looking like they’re in their teens likelihood.

There never seems to be a bad house party in movie university land. There are always hundreds of people, enough drinks for everyone and a general fun time being had by all.

Now while you may experience these types of parties at uni, they won’t be as frequent as you may think, and the amount of guests attending is likely to be a quarter of the amount you regularly see in the movies.

In fact if that many people do turn up to a uni house party, the student accommodation won’t be able to fit everyone in, you’ll end up gathering outside and then will be promptly asked to go home by either angry neighbours or the police (who again, won’t be undercover).

Most uni-based movies will centre on the main character having some sort of rival, mainly for academic, romantic or general plot-based reasons.

While you won’t get on with everyone you meet at uni, it’s unlikely that you’ll make an arch rival who will actively go out their way to make your live a misery like the movies depict. It’s more likely that you’ll just exchange unkind looks and say mean mutterings under your breath when you see them down the shops. You know, the mature way of dealing with people you don’t get on with...

Movies set in universities are normally so busy with the plot they don’t tend to include that much actual work (apart from you Legally Blonde, you showed the hard work, good job). Despite very little work being done people still seem to graduate, and normally to the top of their class in the movie universities.

Sorry to say this, but you have to work hard at uni to get the grades you want. You can’t run around having an adventure, not study and still do well, it just doesn’t happen. Soz about that.

In the horror movie universities, there is normally an overly keen flatmate who gets obsessive, stalks you or is just generally a bit weird. Although we can’t promise that you won’t encounter annoying flatmates, the likelihood of living with one who wants to create shrines of you is unlikely.

Similarly to the house parties, students nights in the movies always takes place in the biggest nightclubs, no one complains about the music, no one shouts to be heard and the queues at the bar seem to be minimal, or literally invisible if you’re the lead character.

Sorry, university club nights are amazing, but there will ALWAYS be someone complaining about the music, you will ALWAYS have to shout to be heard, and you will ALWAYS spend quite a lot of the night queuing at the bar. And your DJ is more like to be someone from X Factor, TOWIE, Radio 1 or someone from your musical past than Calvin Harris.

One of the biggest movies about university is of course The Social Network. And while you and your friends are sure to go on to do amazing things with your career, the likelihood that you’ll meet someone like Mark Zuckerberg at uni is minimal. Although if you do, make sure you buy them a drink in fresher’s week...