I don't know that I've ever done a shot that's given me such a range of emotions before.

Let me preface this by: I really didn't like the Cindy Sherman shots. Her film series really was glorious. Loved those. But I just didn't get the portraits. Some were creepy, some were gross, some were just "huh?". I didn't understand why anyone would find them fascinating or even interesting.

I kept doing more and more research trying to figure it out. One thing that stood out was the fact that when she dressed up, she was taking herself out of the photo. It wasn't about her anymore. That she would even lose herself. Another thing that stuck was that she would put a mirror by the camera.

What a brilliant idea! My self portraits were always completely blind. I didn't know what I got until I chimped. Having a mirror by the camera so I could see what I was doing was perfect! What an obvious solution!

So I went into this thinking how nice it would be to not be self conscious in front of the camera. That certainly has never happened with me.

So I bought a wig.

Wow -- it was fun! It was glorious! I never had long hair before. (it wouldn't grow past my shoulders). After putting on the wig, I could see how people with long hair get addicted to brushing it out of their face all the time. It was an incredible feeling! I wanted to just keep doing it.

Then I had to figure out what to do. I liked the idea of the historic figures. I had a corset from when I was in "Oliver". Put that on under the dress, and it really didn't work.

Skip the dress.

Now I'm in a corset. That was bizarre enough, because my daughter was in the next room. Yes, she's in college, but still.

Then I kept thinking about one thing I read regarding some of her more sexual photos. The fact that some women had more of an arrogant, defiant look. But that she had some where there was more of a look of victim.

The wig started giving me more confidence. I took shots with the corset.

I took shots without the corset.

I couldn't believe that I took shots without the corset!

I took shots in a black pushup bra.

I couldn't believe I did that either.

I'm rushing through with about 10 minutes left before my son got home. He's 17, and I didn't want to scare him for life. ;)

I had three options. I sent them to two friends, and one said that I looked terrified in the 3rd. That was perfect!! And I was terrified. exhilarated. scared. petrified. etc.

This was my commentary on society. Reminiscent of Cindy Sherman's Aging debutante series.

Woman do not usually grow old gracefully. Society doesn't want to see them growing old.

Woman who are heavier are also not wanted to be seen by society. Seriously -- they're considering a size 8 as plus sized models? How many woman do you know that are below a size 8?

So here's me. An aging woman, hating the lines that are appearing on her neck. Not particularly pleased with her own appearance because it's definitely not acceptable society-wise. Yet emboldened by long hair and hiding behind myself.

I'm so glad I did it. I don't know if I'm glad I did it.

All I know is taking the wig off was a huge letdown. Back to my self-conscious, aging, short, fine haired, dishwater blond.

The photo is great; the explanation is fabulous. Having read it I realize that I'm going through the aging thing too, but I'm a guy so society gives me an 80% pass. The other 20% I deal with. Really love your zeal (if that's the right word).

Wendy, this is just glorious, on so many levels. I love your courage, and that you were able to create something that I know is out of your comfort zone. I love the wig. You should wear it more often, even if just around the house :)