Maybe

I was listening to K Michelle’s “Maybe I Should Call” a couple of days ago while cleaning my house and I began to get a little emotional. Have you ever thought about the should’ve, could’ve and would’ve when it came to a relationship? Do you think that if you would have done things differently maybe your relationship would have a different outcome? Well I think so…

I recently found out that the only man that I was in love with is now engaged. At first I was not shocked because months ago he expressed to me that he was thinking about proposing. Not only that but I really never thought of him as the marrying type. It is not because I think he is a bad guy but I never imagined him settling down so soon. Then I started reminiscing about the good times we had, the moments we shared, the overwhelming emotions that we went through and then my feelings started to come through. I am hurt and feeling like the only thing I have known is now gone. I do not think we would have ever made it to marriage but I do believe that we would have made it far. I am now wondering if I could have expressed more feelings, if I should have let him spend time with my son or the fact that I should have kissed him more, would things be different.

P.S. I know that you read my blog from time to time and if you are reading this know that I really love you and I hope you are truly happy