“Okay, well,” Beach Bunny continued. “During Halloween week in the Royalty thread an evil were creature invaded the castle. At first, it affected a sweet little golden retriever puppy the queen adopted. The puppy morphed into a hideous monster dog, and ran off into the woods. Then Regdog’s were creatures…”

”Then Kit’s panther, Zeus, pursued Muse and the other creatures into the woods, but Muse disappeared.”

“Kit?”

“Actually Kitrianna. She was the Royal Outfitter.”

“Royal Outfitter?”

“She made sure everyone was appropriately attired or outfitted for the week. Get it?”

“No.”

Beach Bunny shook her head.

“Anyway, Muse was found only after Haggis bravely tracked him. Haggis brought Muse back to the castle and tossed him in the electric chair for one last sizzle.”

“Why did he do that?”

Beach Bunny rolled her eyes. “To prove the mutt was dead. Duh.”

“Oh.”

“But,” she went on. “Regdog tossed Kit into the dungeon.”

“Uh? Why?”

“Because everyone thought she might turn into a were creature. Why else?”

Leukman nodded. “Mmmkay, yeah. So? Now what?”

“So now, it’s a mystery as to whether someone or something in the castle is the ‘real’ were creature. No one knows.” Beach Bunny wiped her hands together. “Pass the tequila, please.”

******

Queen Vixey walked into the Great Hall at the same moment Haggis came running up from the dungeon looking white as a sheet.

“OMG! OMG! Kit’s changing. Where’s that broadsword?” He ran around and around in circles nipping and barking.

“What do you mean Kit’s changing?” the Queen asked. She pointed to a wall of weapons. “The broadswords are hanging by the tapestry.” She watched Haggis scurry over to the wall and wrestle down a claymore at least four times his size. “If Kit’s changing, we can help her. We don’t have to hurt her.”

Regdog walked in from the kitchen directing the servants to set out breakfast. Bayou Bill kicked a large oil drum, peppered with dials and knobs, and placed a coffee mug underneath an attached spigot. A thick goo oozed into his mug.

“Morning,” Regdog said staring at Haggis, who clenched the claymore’s hilt in his fangs. “I see things are still afoot.”

“Haggis thinks Kit is changing into a were creature,” Queen Vixey said.

Bayou Bill slurped his coffee. “Well, it is fall, after all. Isn’t turning sort of the norm for this time of year?” He grabbed a plate off the buffet and loaded it with bacon, eggs, toast, ham, bacon, donuts, grits, bacon and a strawberry.

*****

Sir Ferret walked past the others in the Great Hall, filled a plate, muttering thanks to the chef and walked out onto the balcony. The sun was rising. The sky was crimson with white streaks of clouds running across it, looking like it had been torn open.

"Red sky in morning, sailor take warning,” he said aloud.

A woman's scream pierced the air from somewhere below him. There was a damsel in distress and being nothing if not a sucker for the damsels, distressed or otherwise, he leapt from the balcony to the courtyard below. Pain shot through his ankle as he landed wrong.

"Gawdamit! Why didn't I just take the stairs?"

He hobbled across the courtyard to a narrow alleyway. Inside there was a large figure hunched over the form of a girl.

"Excuse me, would you be so kind as to leave her alone?"

The figure turned. It was the werewolf. Its muzzle was covered in blood and Sir Ferret could see the woman's throat was ripped out. He took his sword and plunged it into the beast.

"You have to go through me to get out,” Sir Ferret said through gritted teeth.

The creature slashed at Sir Ferret, its claws knocking the diminutive ferret back against the wall. His chest felt on fire. The werewolf had ripped his leather jerkin open. Blood seeped out through the gash.

“Dammit. I need silver. What kind of idiot am I?”

The creature approached and Sir Ferret tried to stand to face it. He watched as the creatures legs twitched; its eyes dilated. It was going to attack. Sir Ferret lunged at it, swinging his sword down.

"Bad dog!"

The creature blocked the blow with its arm and Sir Ferret’s steel sliced through the werewolf like a ring of boloney. The creature's arm, cut off at the elbow, plopped onto the flagstones. With a cry of pain and rage the creature rushed past the ferret, knocking him down again, and scrabbled up and over the castle wall.

Moments later Sir Ferret returned to the great room and tossed the hairy arm onto the floor.

"Someone with better were knowledge want to explain to me why this arm didn't change back to human? Or why a were is running around when the sun is up?"

He slumped to his knees and swayed, fighting unconsciousness.

******

The Queen hurried to Sir Ferret’s side, ripped off a piece of her skirt and dabbed at his wounds. Regdog rushed over.

“My Queen, what has happened? Not the werewolf again?”

Sir Ferret’s eyes fluttered opened. He moaned for some whiskey.

The Queen pointed to the furry arm lying on the flagstones. “What else could it be?”

Sir Ferret head lolled to one side. “I had a run-in with an irate librarian over an overdue book. Granny kicked my ass.” He grinned. “Sorry, I get testy when I have to fight werewolves before my morning coffee.”

He turned back to the Queen. “You know you're really beautiful, right?” He turned toward Regdog and Bill. “So is Regdog. Hey, Bill, you ain't so bad yourself. Is Haggis here? I love that mutt.”

“He’s delirious! Someone fetch a healer!” the Queen cried out.

In a flash, Regdog slapped manacles on the Ferret. “I hate to do this but…” She picked him up and carried him off to the dungeon and locked him in a cell.

“My Queen, based on his blatherings, I fear our fearless ferret’s freaked and has lost, in addition to much blood, his marbles. I commend Regdog for her initiative.” Bayou Bill lifted his mug to his lips and chewed his coffee.

Regdog returned a moment later with her dragons. “Come on, boys. We’ve got a werewolf to catch.”

******
Beach Bunny clicked off the remote.

“So two people are in the dungeon,” Leukman said.

“Well, no. Only one person is in the dungeon. Kit. Then there’s the ferret and a Chihuahua,” she answered.

“But Haggis wasn’t thrown in the dungeon,” Leukman said.

“No. He just likes to sleep there. He got so used to Regdog tossing him in there the previous week he set up permanent residence. He has a designated parking space too.” She sucked on a lemon, licked salt off her hand and tossed back a shot of tequila.

“A Chihuahua can drive?” Leukman looked puzzled. “Don’t answer that. And how are we watching all this on a screen?”

“Security cameras,” she said. “Someone edited the footage and compiled it into a movie. Cool, huh?”

******

Will Regdog find the werewolf?

Will Haggis drag the claymore to the dungeon?

Will Sir Ferret stay cooped up in the dungeon for the remainder of the story?

Will Leukman share his popcorn with the rest of us?

Beach Bunny

01-02-2009, 01:31 AM

:ROFL: ... That'll restore my reputation as an airhead. :)

Good job. That was funny.

regdog

01-02-2009, 01:35 AM

Excellent, now we have a narrrator and audience.

regdog

01-02-2009, 01:38 AM

:ROFL: ... That'll restore my reputation as an airhead. :)

Good job. That was funny.
Good story telling Bun bun

brad_b

01-02-2009, 01:42 AM

Nice read, now I'll have to back up and peruse the chapters I missed - where does one find the time?

Haggis

01-02-2009, 01:46 AM

Nice read, now I'll have to back up and peruse the chapters I missed - where does one find the time?

eBay.

regdog

01-02-2009, 01:46 AM

Nice read, now I'll have to back up and peruse the chapters I missed - where does one find the time?

Collectively we all need a life

vixey

01-02-2009, 01:52 AM

Are you implying that AW is not life? :D

brad_b

01-02-2009, 01:54 AM

Used to have a life, used to go outside... I wonder if outside is still there.

regdog

01-02-2009, 02:00 AM

eBay.

Good to see you Haggis. Long time no see. Hope you had a nice holiday.

Used to have a life, used to go outside... I wonder if outside is still there.

Outside? What is this outside you speak of?

brad_b

01-02-2009, 02:05 AM

Good to see you Haggis. Long time no see. Hope you had a nice holiday.

Outside? What is this outside you speak of?

Outside could just be a fabled part of memory, but I kinda remember things like trees, people walking around, sunshine; perhaps it's just some quirk of imagination.

regdog

01-02-2009, 02:07 AM

Outside could just be a fabled part of memory, but I kinda remember things like trees, people walking around, sunshine; perhaps it's just some quirk of imagination.

Hmm, maybe I think, somethings coming back...nope I got nothing

brad_b

01-02-2009, 02:11 AM

Hmm, maybe I think, somethings coming back...nope I got nothing

You could always google a search on it and see if that brings something.

vixey

01-02-2009, 02:14 AM

We have an outside at the castle. There's a courtyard, gardens, woods...though it's a bit snow covered at the moment. ;)

brad_b

01-02-2009, 02:19 AM

We have an outside at the castle. There's a courtyard, gardens, woods...though it's a bit snow covered at the moment. ;)

Quit bragging about having an outside, Vixey. Come to think, there's a door in the living room I haven't tried for awhile, maybe outside is through there... nah, outside is still a fairytale.

Haggis

01-02-2009, 02:22 AM

Good to see you Haggis. Long time no see. Hope you had a nice holiday.

:hi:

Susie

01-02-2009, 02:22 AM

Dammit, I thought I'd at least be in this ESTC Ch.7. Man, oh, well, guess I'll just have to have a chocolate martini and drown my sorrows. :cry: :D

Leukman

01-02-2009, 04:58 AM

Good story telling Bun bun

And to think I wasted all that time reading chapters 1-6. T'was much nicer having Bun-Bun's version.

We have an outside at the castle. There's a courtyard, gardens, woods...though it's a bit snow covered at the moment. ;)

And a hot tub. Don't forget the hot tub.

Dammit, I thought I'd at least be in this ESTC Ch.7. Man, oh, well, guess I'll just have to have a chocolate martini and drown my sorrows. :cry: :D

Honey, you were there, on the sofa with me and Bunny, sitting on my other side, nibbling truffles. You just didn't want to interrupt.

Susie

01-02-2009, 05:15 AM

Aww, thanks much, Leuky, you are swell! Man, what could be better, you, Bunny, truffles all sitting on the sofa. Well, not the truffles, we're eating those. :D I'm calmer now. :)

Beach Bunny

01-02-2009, 05:32 AM

And to think I wasted all that time reading chapters 1-6. T'was much nicer having Bun-Bun's version.

And a hot tub. Don't forget the hot tub.

Honey, you were there, on the sofa with me and Bunny, sitting on my other side, nibbling truffles. You just didn't want to interrupt.
And thank you very much for not interrupting. ;) As a reward, Don will be mixing up mudslides for the next installment. :)

vixey

01-02-2009, 07:06 AM

And thank you very much for not interrupting. ;) As a reward, Don will be mixing up mudslides for the next installment. :)

I hope you're talking about the drink. :tongue

Kitrianna

01-02-2009, 05:36 PM

*scratches head* I thought I was let out of the dungeon last chapter...

Oh well *returns to laughing her ass off* that was great vix!

Can I write the next chapter? Please? *gives puppy dog eyes which is really hard for a bad cat to do*

The enemy will go gladly when they're inundated in an alcoholic mudslide rolling down the canyon. They'll drink themselves to death.

Shadow_Ferret

01-02-2009, 06:46 PM

Hey, you left out the part where I bravely poured whiskey on my wounds.

Or was that from a later fight scene?

Drat. Was that a spoiler?

vixey

01-02-2009, 06:48 PM

Hey, you left out the part where I bravely poured whiskey on my wounds.

Or was that from a later fight scene?

Drat. Was that a spoiler?

Um...no. I left it out. :( Sorry. I tried to move the story along without all the melodrama. :D

And...the section about you was written by you with a little bit of tweaking.

Shadow_Ferret

01-02-2009, 06:52 PM

Melodrama?

I will have you know I am not now, nor have I ever in my entire existence upon this little green marble called Earth, which hurtles headlong through space taking us upon a journey that none of us may know the destination, been melodramatic!

vixey

01-02-2009, 06:52 PM

Melodrama?

I will have you know I am not now, nor have I ever in my entire existence upon this little green marble called Earth, which hurtles headlong through space taking us upon a journey that none of us may know the destination, been melodramatic!

:rolleyes:

Kitrianna

01-02-2009, 06:53 PM

Melodrama?

I will have you know I am not now, nor have I ever in my entire existence upon this little green marble called Earth, which hurtles headlong through space taking us upon a journey that none of us may know the destination, been melodramatic!

:roll: Whatever you say Sir Ferret.

Shadow_Ferret

01-02-2009, 06:54 PM

OK. Maybe just a little.

regdog

01-02-2009, 11:33 PM

OK. Maybe just a little.

That's why we love you :kiss:

Don

01-02-2009, 11:41 PM

That's why we love you :kiss:
Speak for yourself. Or was that a royal we? :roll:

Shadow_Ferret

01-02-2009, 11:56 PM

C'mon, Don. We're all adults. You can admit your feelings. :D

regdog

01-03-2009, 12:17 AM

Speak for yourself. Or was that a royal we? :roll:

That was the "we" as in "we" the wanton concubines/bimbos/tarts of the Royalty thread. You know me, vixey, Bun Bun

Leukman

01-03-2009, 12:23 AM

That was the "we" as in "we" the wanton concubines/bimbos/tarts of the Royalty thread. You know me, vixey, Bun Bun

Who's what?

I mean, I have an idea, but it'd be more fun to hear you say it. ;)

Kitrianna

01-03-2009, 12:23 AM

And me too...although I don't fit into any of the categories that Heather listed...

regdog

01-03-2009, 12:35 AM

Who's what?

I mean, I have an idea, but it'd be more fun to hear you say it. ;)

Apparently the reputation of the three of us is now carrying over to other threads. You did read the latest Fajita chapter :D

And me too...although I don't fit into any of the categories that Heather listed...

That's why I didn't list you, Kit. You don't carry on with Shadow they way the three of us do

Kitrianna

01-03-2009, 01:53 AM

I feel overly chaste when you say things like that Heather :( or maybe just too devoted to Kthrok...

vixey

01-03-2009, 04:42 AM

Mmmkay. Stay tuned Realm readers for next week's installment.

cooeedownunder

01-03-2009, 04:50 AM

And I guess I was walking the royal grounds carrying my wine and strawberries knight stalking:)

vixey

01-03-2009, 04:52 AM

And I guess I was walking the royal grounds carrying my wine and strawberries knight stalking:)

I imagine you were. We'll have to see what happens in Chapter 8. :D

cooeedownunder

01-03-2009, 04:57 AM

I imagine you were. We'll have to see what happens in Chapter 8. :D

All the knights seem to have this unpenatratable armour on but I found a few Lords that have been much more agreeable :D

vixey

01-03-2009, 05:01 AM

I found a few Lords that have been much more agreeable :D

You go girl! :e2brows:

cooeedownunder

01-03-2009, 05:59 AM

Yes, I try to have a 'go' - it's part of the Australian way, and we always say, 'we'll have a go' no matter how hard or easy it is for that matter :D