"Don't get me wrong, Lestrade. I'm not solving this case for you."

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A couple of years ago, I was invited to a free screening of a film I was very excited about with the expectation that I would talk it up on social media. I agreed, but then I had serious problems with the film, so I didn’t post anything about it anywhere. So when I had the chance to see an early screening of T2 Trainspotting, I didn’t go. It seemed like an unnecessary nostalgia trip, and I thought I would hate it, especially as I didn’t really like Porno. Ngl, Sick Boy is my favourite character in Trainspotting, and in Porno he is a complete psychopath. A real psychopath, not a Moffat-psychopath.

Well… as a film, it’s not so great, but as the Sick Boy/Renton fanfic I’ve been wanting for 20 years, it is FANTASTIC.

Veronica: You are clearly in love and should take off all your clothes and fuck. Cheers!

THAT IS NOT COMMENTARY FROM ME, THAT IS ACTUALLY IN THE FILM

A bad man takes their clothes and makes them do bad things. Okay, that is my interpretation, but I think it is valid and so do the cows.

First, attempted murder. Later, rescue, and then cuddling on the sofa. (In this context, too high to move counts as cuddling.)

In conclusion, the Sick Boy/Renton ship name should be ‘Rent Boy’ even though that is Renton’s nickname in canon, and I may have to reconsider my decision to stop doing Yuletide because that might be the only way to get fic for this film.