A 3-0 loss to the hapless United States was embarrassing enough, but Egyptian soccer may be more embarrassed by reports that the team was robbed by prostitutes they brought back to their hotel. At least one explains the other.

The robbery report was initially a black eye to South Africa, which desperately needs to convince the rest of the planet that they can come to the World Cup next year and not get ravaged by thugs, charlatans, and grifters on their way in from the airport. Then came rumors that it wasn't South Africa's lawless wild west show that plagued the Egyptians, but the "ladies of the evening" that they invited into their own hotel rooms to celebrate last Thursday's 1-0 victory over Italy in the Confederations Cup. The players originally cried that it must have been hotel staff who "ransacked" their rooms while they were out, losing about $2,400 in cash.

But police in JoBurg (that's Johannesburg to you Yanks) say they have video of "scantily clad women moving in and out of rooms at what looked like a party" and none of the rooms' electronic safes were opened. The Egypytians are shocked—shocked—at these accusations and ask that you please don't tell their wives about it, although the South Africans might try just about any ruse imaginable to make the world's soccer fans believe that their state is not, and I quote, "a crime hellhole."

Unless you love hookers, obviously, in which case the sky's the limit.