Thursday, July 19, 2007

Why don't television shows have theme songs anymore? I think it started with Seinfeld's Bobby McFarrin tribute in their opening credits but whatever the reason they just don't have theme songs like they used to--though the Amazing Race has a decent enough ditty. Maybe I'd start watching t.v. again if they had cool songs to lure me in. Here are my top picks:

1. The A-Team. Okay I know I'm just abandoning myself completely to the 80s but this was a fabulous theme song and what made it even better was the plot exposition done in voice over. Hysterical now but boy I thought it was great back in 7th grade. My friends and I caught every episode and secretly had code names for each other that mirrored the Team's code names. Oh yes, we were cool. A close second would be Knight Rider or Magnum P.I. (the best-looking mustache on the planet).

2. The Brady Bunch. I loved this one and would sing along to the best of my abilities whenever I caught an episode. Don’t tell but secretly I dreamed I was Cindy Brady complete with a set of curly pigtails. You too?

3. Miami Vice or maybe Law and Order. I never actually saw a Miami Vice episode (Mom had declared it Trashy and it was off limits) but ran into plenty of Don Johnson wannabes throughout my 80s existence. Law and Order on the other hand--loved loved loved that show. I say "loved" because I haven't seen too many episodes recently, not since the blond assistant D.A. left (I have a hard time keeping McCoy's women straight). Odd that he never gets an ugly male sidekick, just gorgeous females. . . but as for theme songs, when the guitar comes in I feel my Coolness Quotient jump significantly.

4. Gilligan's Island. Who doesn't love this? "A three-hour tour, A three-hour tour . . ." Any theme song that tells a story gets bonus points--in fact, I think the presidential candidates ought to seriously consider creating their own theme songs where they set their platform into a catchy ballad that can be played at debates, fund raisers, town meetings, whatever. It's a winning idea. Can't you just hear Hilary's song?

Just sit right back and you'll hear a taleA tale with a lot of dirtThat started back in Little RockWith the Governor and a Skirt, the Governor and a Skirt.

The man was a womanizer andHis lifetime mate was madBut she had White House hopes she'd beFirst Lady to that Cad, First Lady to that Cad.

The election went without a hitchWith Blue States far and wideFor Bill Clinton . . .and Hilary too . . .Stephanopolous . . . and AlbrightLes As-pinJan Re-no and Sha-la-la(But not a landslide).

So starts the career of our CastawayAround for a long, long timeWe've have to make the best of thingsIt's an uphill climb.

Ms. Clinton as a SenatorHas done her very bestTo make America comfortableWith a woman Prez.

No lies, no court, no MonicaNot a single impeachingCould stop her from her clever planTo someday have The Seat.

So join us in NovemberYou're sure to get an acheFrom Senators, press and lawyersHow much can America take?

5. Bonanza. Fabulous theme song. Words aren’t necessary when you can just “bum bum-da-bum, bum-da-bum, bum-da-bum, bum bummmm BUM! . . . .” along. The mark of a great theme song. And a flaming map in the background doesn't hurt either. Maybe I shouldn't say this but my Mom and her friends as teens loved Little Joe enough to write their own episodes just for him. Dragnet and Rawhide are honorable mentions as well.

6. The Muppet Show and Fraggle Rock. I'm lumping these two together because if you've seen one felted, feathered, fingered puppet you've seen them all. Don't tell me you can watch the Fraggle Rock credits without clapping, you know you do.

7. Scooby-Doo. Yes I know it’s a cartoon but it’s still cool. Maybe it's the drum solo at the beginning, maybe it's the flock of squawking bats that sets the mood, maybe it's the way Velma runs, but whatever it is I loved it and my kids are carrying the flame of affection high and strong. Enough to make it to number seven on the list. Don’t tell me you don’t know all the words to it. Favorite episode? The Green Ghosts--whatever that one was called--the one that was like Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians . . . only with (um) two floating green ghosts and (er) a talking dog with a cat's tail.

8. Dudley Do-right. And if you thought cartoons were off-limits wait until you hear this one. Did you watch Rocky and Bullwinkle? I’ll still watch it if the kids check out the DVDs from the library. They think I can do a pretty good Natasha imitation but regardless, the Dudley Do-right theme is classic and catchy.

9. Friends. Never really been a fan of the show but for the record I was listening to The Rembrandts before America had ever heard of Jennifer Aniston. Anyone ever hear that great early-90s tune, "Just the Way It Is"?

10. Greatest American Hero. Do you remember this show? I LOVED it. Saw every episode and cried when it ended so abruptly (maybe I'm exaggerating just a little) and loved the theme song too—though I warn you, it’s 80s with a vengeance complete with a blond afro-mullet and Connie Selleca.

11. Highlander. Does this qualify as a theme song? Because it’s really a legitimate song used as a theme song (“Princes of the Universe” by Queen--and who doesn't love Queen?) but whether you’ll give it to me or not I love it. I have the full version on my ipod. Which do I like better: the theme song or Adrian Paul? Hmmm . . . better get back to me on that one.

12. Mission Impossible. It’s an obvious choice and so cool it’s hung around for quite awhile and has kept Tom Cruise’s career above water. Barely.

13. Hawaii 5-0. The coolest theme song ever. It’s still cool even all these years later. I caught my kids listening to it the other day thinking it was something new. I had to explain things to them that Cool has been around longer than they have and that this theme song was back from when I was too young to watch cop shows. The 60s invented Cool I believe, I think the patent was registered back in 1961 when Audrey Hepburn did Breakfast at Tiffany's. It all goes back to Audrey.

Maybe it's just HBO, but the theme songs for The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, and Big Love pretty much rock[ed]!

...but I wish you hadn't mentioned the Brady Bunch; I never liked it and now it---plus all the theme songs of all the shows that used to come on Friday nights back in the seventies---are playing in my head. "The Partridge Family," "Love American Style, "The Odd Couple," augh!

Yes! I was just thinking about this topic. A couple of years ago, LOST won an emmy for best television theme song. When I heard that, I just shook my head sadly. But such is the state of television shows today.

And, yes, I did wish I was Cindy Brady. I distinctly remember asking my mother to do my hair like Cindy's when I was a child.

We recently bought the first season of Greatest American Hero on DVD and I was disappointed at how boring it was compared to what I remembered.Oh...best TV show music. That orchestra music they used for Scarecrow and Mrs King. Great stuff! Ah, and Silver Spoons...Ricky Schroeder was my first crush...

On the other hand, I just want to shrivel up into a little ball when I hear The Little House on the Prairie theme song. Too many episodes, too many times - LHotP burnout. I think it's that little leap at the end.

I'm sure Facts of Life was on the no watch list too, but that was a catchy song. "You take the good, you take the bad...."

Got me to thinkin', but I suspect I am of a different generation as well as genre. My list includes Star Trek, Lost in Space, Perry Mason, Mr. Ed, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits. Now I have to go off and dye some grey hairs...

I used to watch some of those. Hawaii 50 and Mission Impossible had great themes. Some TV theme tunes had words which were never performed (Bonanza and Star Trek, for example) just so that the lyricist could claim a royalty every time they were played.

You sure can come up with some interesting topics for TT. I'm a fan of Law & Order franchise. Watch every single episodes. And you're right, McCoy seems to go through his assistant like changing undies. I heard the latest hottie will leave him too. Too bad, the hubbie and I think she's hot and good.

Now, that's going down memory lane. Greatest American Hero, I loved that show too!!

I blogged about my favorite T.V. theme songs a while back...what about Fat Albert? That's a jam! And the Dukes of Hazzard? Three's Company gets props from me just for that amazing, funky guitar riff at the beginning. My favorite of all time: Diff'rent Strokes. I love that song.

The late '60s and early '70s were really about the ballad theme song. I think back in those days producers were developing shows for the long-term and investing money in major theme development could be justified. Today some shows don't survive their pilots let alone more than one season; unless 3 people die in every episode and there are at least 2 "babes" for window dressing.

But sorry I wanted to be Marcia;... oh wait, I was Marcia. And she should seriously have knocked off Greg, he needed "his ears set back" as my grandmother used to say.

Great list, Michelle. If you include Brady Bunch, why not include The Love Boat. You have to go back a decade to find the best of the best/excluding drama. Best theme song, best script best comedy, best actors ...yup "The Dick Van Dyke Show" and Cheers, though I rarely watched the show. and Twilight Zone. MOMM

Awww!!! Great list, M!! I still catch the A-Team, Magnum PI (love the shorts!), and Bonanza every so often on SkyAngel!! But my son has the Gilligan DVD box sets!! And, I loved Greatest American Hero!! Kudos to you today for picking some awesome theme songs!

Ya, the first one I thought of when I saw the list was Magnum. How you could leave off Tom Selleck is beyond me. Hearing the start of the sond "Da, da, da, DUM da-dum da-dum da-dum....da da da DUM...." and watching him jump into that ferrari on a beautiful Hawaiian beach was SOO cool. I KNOW that you sang along too. Cheers is a great one too.

Dang it, I wrote a post of my 13 favorite TV theme songs (Highlander being number one of course), but I decided to post it next week because I wanted to leave my Wednesday post up longer. Now you've beaten me to it. Oh well. We're not entirely the same, although I did also have A-Team, Bonanza, and Muppets.

hi michelle: you are funny today! and i loved how you called his hair a blond afro-mullet! what a hoot. i used to love that show, too. they just made some really great theme songs back then! cheers, kathleen :)

They say the sense of smell is closely tied to memory.....but I think music must be somewhere in there too. What a great flashback your list created.Gilligan's Island brought back our wedding...we got married on a boat and insisted that the DJ include that in the playlist.

A few weeks ago I was driving home alone from an errand at night, heard the theme from Miami Vice, and I swear suddenly I wasn't driving a filthy SUV mom mobile but a red convertible down the highway, with an ocean breeze blowing my hair!