Thursday, September 3, 2009

"Gratitude" not a word a lot of people think about daily, we are caught up in our daily lives running here and there worrying about what ever lurks in our present, past and future like so many over caffeinated harpies.
So in breaking from my usual sarcastic self I decided to write about what I am Grateful for in hopes some of you will as well!

My Health: Not long ago I faced never being able to walk again. I will not get into it but today I walk, run (once my knee is healed) dance, and yes allow my feet to take me sometimes where every they want (try it sometime it is truely amazing what you will actually see). I also have a fun little thing called Bi-Polar disorder. For years I struggled with this blip in the miss matched chemicals in my brain. Today with the help of medication, family and a fantasic DR. I no long stay up for weeks on end behaving badly. I have learned that my BPD gave me a great gift of creativity, emotion, and paitence. I do not regret nor am I angry that I have this. Think of it as "Mad Pride". I did'nt care for the electroshock therapy but hey it really helped me turn the corner.
So today I am grateful that I am alive and Happy.

My Family: Most of us have family, we love them, cherish them and because they are family sometime forget to be grateful of them. Some of you have met my Parents, my Mum who was at times a real nag but never, never gave up on me. She had a quiet strength that I never really understood til she was dying. She taught me there is dignity in life and Imperfection. That there is truly unconditional love even without the biological connection. (this i struggled with them for many years and now am at peace with) She was a subliminal teacher who's lessons I only leaned or understood once I was married and I am still learning today.
My Father who is going strong at 85 a man who sacrificed so much for us. A real gentle kind man whose only wish for me was happiness. Never an emotional man yet always was able to display a great deal of love for the people around him. We for years butted heads and at some time in the 90's we became friends, equals and now share a very close and connected relationship with each other. All families have warts and irritants but look past them and see the love and what they teach us everyday. Today I am grateful for everything my family gave me warts and all. I am who I am because of you.

Friends: What can I say here from my close friends here in Vancouver to my old friends and newly rediscovered friends. You have all given me so much more than I can ever repay. i will name a few, Al, we have not seen each other in years but you were for me the closest thing to a brother anyone could ever ask for. You were always there for me when I needed you. Quietly I am so proud of you and your family, and your own personal journey. Eric, you too I have sadly not seen in years but I owe you my humor and sense of adventure that with out knowing you i doubt I would have today. Thank You. Joe just like Eric you have added so much in my life and the life of others around you. Some of my newer friends Gary my favorite Queen, you saved me when J.J. was sick and dying your unselfishness and continued support and sick sense of humor is a daily joy to witness. And to one of my friends from across the pond, Barney my sick partner in the circle of darkness the only man other than me that can stream profanity and pure smut yet remain a true English gentleman. You are an amazing talent, I brag about you to everyone and warn everyone woman I know as well. Even though some people thought we were lovers. If I was to accept a man into me it would be your freakishly small turtlenecked cock. (sorry to my readers it is the just the way I we talk to each other. Barney we suffered on that hell ship together with humor and lots of booze. i am greatful to have you in my life. For everyone please visit Barney's site and listen to his music at, www.barneyashworth.com you wont be disapointed. To everyone else in my life who adds to the tapastry of my life thank you, thank you and I love you all, but not as much as I love Barney and Goats.

Canada: The country I was born, not where I was raised yet yearned for for years. Canada is a wonderful social experiment that works, a cultural mossaic compared to the U.S.'s cultural melting pot. A country still wild the second largest country in the world with a population less than the metro NY area. We value human rights, the arts our Aboriginal peoples and beer. Our money is different colours and our national animal is a beaver for christ sakes. We created the Trailer park Boys, Velco, and way too many great comedians to mention. We can laugh at ourselves, burn our flag if we want to, smoke weed, and gay marrage is legal, actually the first gay marrage here was on a millitary base! I love my redisovered country and as the theme goes I am greatful to live in canada.

Vancouver: This odd little city I live in. After living in NY living in a city that you can walk across downtown in 20 minutes each way was a bit odd. But soon I was taken in my the abstract beauty of this place. There are few places in the world that you can ski and play golf on the same day. A place where you have access to a Hermes store and grizzley bears within 30 miles of each other. Sure it rains pretty much from Oct to May but it is a small price to pay to live in such an amazing natural world. I am greatful for Vancouver giving me a sense of physical place in the world, a view I never get tired of and really really bad drivers.

You may have noticed that I did not mention anything really material that i am greatful for. That is not what makes my life what it is. It is only a glaze on the preverbial bearclaw I call my life. With out the stuff written above i would not have had the experiences i have in my life and continue to stuff comes and goes but being able to see the world around me and my place in it is what I am truely greatful for today.
Now I can go back to to my sarcastic self for a few days