I’m going back to the writing challenge on this one. What are three lessons you want your children to learn from you?

It’s not easy to pinpoint three things- thank heavens it don’t hafta be the top three things. It’s not something I ever really thought about. I mean, growing up I’m always thinking “I won’t do that with my kids” or “I’m going to remember (insert) for when I have kids!”

I know that parenting isn’t easy- kudos to the parents who are actually parents! And I know when I do actually have kids, everything will change. I won’t be perfect, despite everything I’ve gathered into “do’s” and “don’ts”. You can have a list memorized, but once that kid is there…I don’t know. I just can’t imagine an imperfect person can raise someone perfectly. Parents will make mistakes.

useful experience: something that acts as an example, punishment, or warning by teaching something not previously understood or accepted

new or better knowledge: some useful knowledge or sense that results from direct experience

Dear Future Kids

Lesson 1

It’s okay to want to make your own mistakes. I’d like for you to just listen to mine, and avoid them, but I understand the need to do for yourself. You will hear learn from history a lot. And in some cases, yeah. Like, let us not let the Holocaust happen a second time; let us not allow slavery to be legal again.

It’s okay to learn through your own experiences. I’m still going to love you…even if you go out drinking every weekend. Or have sex with an unknown number of partners.

But I want you to know that some things you do, they will cause hurt, pain, regret. If you’re like me, you’ll regret drinking the night before when you’re throwing your guts up the next day.

Some people will tell you to have no regrets because what you did, you wanted to do at that time. But please, don’t believe that bull shit. If you want to kill someone, it doesn’t mean you should. But if you did, you should regret it, despite wanting to do it at the time it occurred.

Experience life for you. Maybe think twice about some things- like drugs, unprotected sex, and driving drunk for examples. But know that even if you don’t do things differently than me, I will still love, mistakes and all.

Lesson 2

Be YOU. Don’t let people dictate who you can be. If you want to read true crime fiction all day and creep everyone out with serial killer facts, do it. Don’t let people make you feel dirty or sick.

If you want to go do something crazy and people laugh at you, don’t let them stop you. You are you, and you are special. Unique. The only you the world will ever have. So be you.

I know sometimes you’ll question who YOU are, and that’s okay. We all do sometimes. If something feels wrong, don’t do it. If you want to do something, but people mock, do it. Fuck them. You gotta be true to you.

Just because everyone else is doing something, doesn’t mean you have to. It’s perfectly fine to go against the grain; go off the beaten path. It’ll make you stronger.

Lesson 3

Nobody is perfect, not me, not you. But as long as you do your best, that’s good enough. It won’t always seem like it some days when your boss is nagging on you or when I tell you to try harder. If you are doing your utter best, don’t sweat the boss. If you’re doing your best, tell me. Because I was a kid once, and I know that sometimes we’re lazy and we lie.

You don’t need A+s to make me happy; I need to know you did your best. And if you can’t get your grades up, I’ll know you’re just not learning the material. But give your best, and don’t give up.

Don’t give up, please. Never stop being the best you can be even when others around you are getting by with mediocre work. Don’t be like them, be better. No, you won’t always be rewarded, and sometimes it’ll all just seem quite unfair, but don’t let it stop you. Because at the end of the day, you’re going to feel good knowing you gave your best.