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Saturday, 4 August 2012

Some may find the title a little off colour,perhaps even a little crude. I want to be straight up and admit that I don’t like crudity, while on the other hand I love
crudités. Speaking of food…

I am a proud Canadian who recently became aware of an
American fast food outlet called Chick Fil A. What makes this discovery
important is not that I’ve been enlightened on another company mass producing artery
clogging unidentifiable stuff disguised as good food, but rather because this
particular company has added Anti-Same-Sex-Marriage to their Healthy Lifestyle
Menu choices.

Naturally, gays are up in arms about the division of church
and chicken.Truly good Christians (and
I separate the true from the homophobes who act allegedly in Jesus’ name) are
decrying this as a public relations nightmare.Public displays of gay affection are on the rise outside of Chick Fil A establishments.

So, this middle aged gay man seems to have been unexpectantly faced with
an issue that requires much discussion, education, possible protest, and other actions.And for what? Some fried chicken outlet!What would the Colonel say? I think he’d say -
wait a minute – I checked out the Chick Fil Amenu and couldn’t find fried chicken!!!This is an even bigger faux pas.While appearing to look like a
KFC rip off, I’ve discovered a bigger crime. This company is a poultrified
version of the Golden Arches! Well, without the beef….

Ronald!Why aren’t
YOU protesting?After all, I see two
huge issues at stake:

One – The Chick Fil A classic chicken burger and a McChicken
sandwich are almost identical.Isn’t there some kind of chicken burger, I
mean sandwich, patent at issue here?
I did some research and it appears you were here first.In the name of all that is right and sane,
stake your claim!!!

Two – And more in my domain than yours, is the company’s
anti gay stand.Now, I would never out
anyone who didn’t want to be outed, but having stated that, I must say I’ve
never seen a Mrs. Ronald…. But then
maybe you just want to keep your private life, private… you know what I mean?
Ronald, I don’t mean to digress, but can I start with your hair? Little Orphan
Annie called and she wants her orange fright wig back.Then there’s the makeup.All that white, makes you look too pale to be
a cover model for Fab Magazine. Finally, it’s about your clothes.Maybe we could give a quick call to Clinton
and Stacey from What Not To Wear. Nuff said, back to the issue at hand:

At the end of the day, I’m sure there are more corporate
heads who don’t support gay rights.We
have the right to withhold our financial support by boycotting their
businesses.If they really want profits
up, they will realize that gays have money too.Actually, a lot of them don’t have children which makes their spending
power even greater… just food for thought.And speaking of which.I’m not
going to Chick Fil A.They aren’t even
here.But if they were.I’d still be going to the Golden Arches because
Ronald, I just love your Two
all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions - all on a
sesame seed bun