Everyone else.

Aussie – Aussie is my little piece of home in this country, which is ironic as neither of us is from this country….and she’s not from my country of birth, either. I guess you can guess where she’s from due to her cleverly disguised name. Aussie has fabulous hair, enjoys comfy pajama pants, and shitty horror movies. Good times.

Bear – Bear married my mom when I was – I think – in my third year of university. I met him when I was 14. I apparently played Kenny G over and over again for him…on the piano. Bear is my lesson in all that a man can be – gentle, funny, strong, sensitive, fun. I love him forever and ever. If I could pick a stepfather, I’d pick him every time.

Bil – I could think of a million fabulous nicknames for my brother-in-law, but I’ve already used this one and I feel it’s simply gross to change people’s names. Also, this nickname may or may not have a private piece of humour attached to it.

Coconut– My baby girl. She’s a cheerful girl with huge eyes. TMD thought she looked like that baby alien from Men In Black originally; we joke she is quite a butch girl because she’s so chunky.

Cookie – one of two university best friends. She’s a wonder and a blessing. One of the rare people who just ‘gets’ it. Cookie is my ‘in’ to the wonders of pb&j matzoh sandwiches, Jewish funereal songs at bedtime, and pirate DVDs.

Corporate T – See ‘Compadre.’

Compadre – the non-god godfather of Snort and Coconut…formerly known as ‘Corporate T.’ He requested a name change. He is family to us, one of those people you can be completely yourself with. He is a really good person, as simple as that – as well as having a wonderfully bitchy sense of humour.

C Dawg – This is Compadre’s partner! Good ol’ Uncle C Dawg. I was worried I would hate him because I love Compadre so much, but C Dawg is SO FUNNY. He is a journalist and a man-sized pizza eater.

Day Job – I worked here for just under four years, offering therapeutic and practical support to young people in the inner city. Most of my fabulous young people had mental health support needs and/or learning disabilities. Also had a brief fling creating and facilitating a group for young queer&questioning people.

John – a guy who plopped down next to me on a bench one day. Somehow, we continue to meet at the train station and on random country roads. I know all sorts of unrelated, fucked up facts about him, but nothing concrete other than he may or may not be my neighbor.

Marmite – my cat! The vet recently called her a ‘lump,’ even though she is one of the smallest cats I’ve ever seen. When we got her, she could literally fit in my hand. Maaaaaaaaaaybe she’s a little bigger now, but I don’t think ‘lump’ is warranted. We love her.

Mil – TMD’s mum. She likes to talk. A lot. An altogether well meaning and good intentioned lady, though, and good fun when you are both worn out from a day of baby wrangling. I jest not.

Operation Fingerpaint – my current job. I work here as a child-centred family therapist. This means I get to do a little of everything – family therapy, couples counselling, play therapy, ‘normal’ one-to-one counselling. Bring on loads of art supplies, all different types of families, and an EXCELLENT place to work.

Opposite Gender Soulmate (OGS) – this is one of my two university best friends. He coined the term ‘opposite gender soulmates’ to explain what we were to each other, so I stuck to it. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but what are you going to do?

Sil – my sister-in-law, who is married to TMD’s baby brother. I am falling in family-love with her; we facebook and text daily about how fucked up our in-laws are. She’s very witty, and very kind.

Snort– My baby boy! When he was born and hungry, he would cry and snort like a grown up pig. He is long, slender, and quite delicate. Yes, we have A Gay Agenda. Not really. Okay, we do.

TMD – stands for ‘truly madly deeply.’ I’ve known her since 1998, and we’ve been together since 2000. And it’s now legal! We are bumping along nicely in life, loving each other every day the best way we know how.

Walnut – Coconut & Snort have a brutha by anothua motha, and Walnut is it. He’s almost exactly 3 months younger than mine, but Aussie only got knocked up in February, which explains the time delay. Walnut is squishy and smiley and a constant reminder how how quickly babies grow. I love him.

it’s funny you know… i went back to read your description of me & it would be out of date except for i relocated again. perhaps i’ll just keep relocating for job after job just so you don’t have to update the who’s who page again.