Wikipedia, "the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit," [1] is a satirical parody of Uncyclopedia, though Wikipedia claims the reverse (and correctly claims that Uncyclopedia claims the reverse, and so on and so 4th). Some say that it is actually a database including such things as: lists of trains, Mortal Kombat characters, one-time villains from Mario games, road intersections, boring suburban schools, garage bands, cats, dead flounders, webcomics, Bionicle characters, kittens' headquarterwebforums, characters from English soap operas, Mortal Kombat characters that don't exist, and a thing they call articles. Ergo: Wikipedia is a Massive Multiplayer Online Editing Game played by experts in redundancy, skepticism, pseudoscience, hyperlinking, reverting articles, demanding reliable sources, verification, identifying original research (which is often quickly denounced in the article talk pages), and initiating subtle flamewars over what is encyclopaedic. The site often exhibits the qualities of the Dada art movements, via the discussion pages attached to all articles; and it can be argued that Michel Foucault'sArchaeology of Knowledge is a case in point. Wikipedia is a complete waste of time ruled by Dr.Phil, live from a soundstage in Hollywood California. It is a proven scientific fact that after reading this site, Wikipedia sucks.

Wikipedia was the creation of internet 'preneur Jimbo and his band of whales, without the help of anyone, especially Larry Sanger. Mr. Jimbo concieved of Wikipedia after reading Herman Hesse's Magister Ludi (The Glass Bead Game) and William Golding's Lord of the Flies in one single weekend. He envisioned Wikipedia as an Internet Amusement Park that would combine the best aspects of both novels. Wikipedia has encountered some difficulties with the implementation of this vision as the cannibal children keep eating the scholars.

The Wikipedia in the days of the stone age. The original wikipedians used to carve their articles out of rock. Translation: Welcome to the Wikipedia rock! We are building an open-content encyclopedia in many languages. In the Egyptian version, started in January 2001 BC, we are now working on 21 articles. Learn how to carve out of rockedit pages, experiment in the sandbox, and visit our Community Portal to find out how you can participate in the development of Wikipedia.

Wikipedia's name comes from two words: "wicked" and "pedophilia". This is a reflection of the administators, particularly Improv, ILike2BeAnonymous, Codex Sinaiticus, and Istvan. In fact both Improv and Codex Sinaiticus are on the Canadian police's list of registered sex-offenders, which is why they are barred from access to that country.

In contrast to Uncyclopedia, which strives to be as factually accurate as possible, Wikipedia entries occasionally reach consensus, and range from nonsensical to biased to subversive, with little or no resemblance to the truth. However, because of its parodic nature, some people find it informative as it reveals at least something about how people think about certain topics, albeit in an ironic sense.

Ultimately, Wikipedia cannot be trusted, and this is why:

Because Wikipedia invented superglue. (Does anyone know how to get it off? My butt is stuck to my computer chair.)

Because Wikipedia aims to control all pets in the world so they will later attack their masters, trust me on this one, I only have one eye after fighting with my pet cockroach.

Because Wikipedia is actually a website aliens use to spot thinking patterns in humans.

Most Wikipedia articles are written by people whose lives closely resemble that of that 40 year old, over-weight Comic Book virgin on the Simpsons. Therefore, they have little or no real world experience to write about.

Contributors who are employed steal a disproportionate amount of time from their employers fooling around on the Internet. They are thieves; therefore, they can't be trusted.

Wikipaediophiles have very small penises (of course they are all men!). This places them in deep denial of reality. This is why they can't be trusted.

Any slightly controversial material is immediately erased by the Fascist Wikistapo, and the offender is traced, and arrested. Wikipedia is a censored database and therefore can't be trusted.

Anyone that has a "life" and a "real job" won't have the time to edit, re-edit, and re-re-edit Wikipedia pages in order to get their Nitwit Point-of-View (NPOV) accepted over someone else's NPOV. So, most Wikipedia articles are written by people that spend an excessive time on the Internet - people that don't have a real job, or a life. This is why Wikipedia articles can't be trusted.

Wikipedia functions much like an iceberg: for every page of supposedly factual information one sees peeking out, hidden below are countless thousands of pages on debate, argument, and vandalism.

Wikipedia functions as a communal toilet. It may certainly look sparkling clean, but there is no scientific method to prove who has been defecating in it. Underneath the seat cover and in the crevices are billions and billions and billions of germs. One can still use it, but is taking a calculated risk of infection.

Wikipedia functions as a soup cooked by an entire community, with everyone contributing something. One person brings a huge kettle, big enough to cook a stew to feed the whole community. The second person brings gallons of fresh water from a pure, sparkling spring. A third person brings crisp celery, huge potatoes and tasty carrots from the garden. A fourth person brings pounds of lean, fresh red meat. The fifth person uses his years of experience as a cook to slowly simmer the stew and add just the right amount of spices. And then these five other guys come along and fill the soup with warm, steaming piles of bullshit.

Uncyclopedia is not arrogant, unlike Wikipedia, and makes no pretentions about its superiority, its wit, and its factual accuracy.

There are 10 types of people on Wikipedia: deletionist vandals and Kmweber. The deletionist vandals insist on deleting articles on any subject not of interest to at least 25 billion people plus 10% of the remainder of the Solar System's population (with a 7% late fee). Kmweber is a valiant warrior against this particularly heinous brand of vandalism; for his efforts, he has been rewarded with numerous blocks, thus proving the underhanded nature of the cabal. As an effort to circumvent this, he has taken to referring to the deletionist vandals as "deletionist ostrogoths" instead.

Template:Wiki
The purpose of Wikipedia is to make as many edits as possible. Players, crackpots, plagiarists or editors (also known as Wikipedophiles) are graded only on the number of edits they make. Therefore, experienced Wikipedophiles abstain from adding whole articles, coherent sentences, or even intelligible strings of characters, as this wastes a great deal of time. Scores (or edit counts) are refereed by Wikibureaucrats who eat cheese or by the Wiki Goddess herself: Kate Moss. Common techniques of successful editors are:

Revert wars, preferably with other power-users (Administrators), as these battles are worth more experience points. These experience points allow wikipedians to cast more elaborate spells, like Isaac's Greater Missile Storm. These wars have been the single largest cause of death in the 21st century.

Splitting and rejoining of categories. This method often provides 100s of edits without unnecessarily influencing the content.

Grammar, spelling, and formatting offensives. Properly administered they can yield hundreds of the coveted one character edits. Not to be attempted by novices.

Lengthy discussions of obvious topics (under the head request for comment). These are, however, seen as a last resort, since a paragraph of nonsense or repetitions will still take ages compared to more efficient ways.

one encyclopedia into many languages. This serves to produce over 100 encyclopedias, all operating in different ways. Several entire languages have been invented simply to increase the number of Wikipedia articles, including Flemorese, Kahxanian, and Swedish. The most extreme example of this is the Russian Wikipedia. Notice the bizarre and incomprehensible icons on the Main Page, all unrelated to those found on the English Wikipedia's Main Page. Also notice the copious quantities of Bs, Ds and 0s. They combine to form proof of a conspiracy.

To get as many uncreditable sources as possible and have other users back them up.

The NEUTRALITY and FACTUAL ACCURACY of this article (but not the undisputable usefulness of this tag) may be disputed!!!Please don't trust anybody anymore! Everyone may be a LIAR and a PSYCHO KILLER (but not Jimbo) !!

Stands for 'nother point of view. It means that one should add another point of view when one does not suffice. There is debate, however, about the actual meaning of the acronym. Some believe that it stands for "Neutral Point of View". In this case, it means that one should have no opinion about a matter when stating the facts. However, some people debate the facts, because there are two sides and interpretations to most issues. The majority view, however, is that these people are wrong. The majority view, sadly, is bullshit. In any case, "Neutral Point of View" in Wikipedia simply means "The view a small cartel of administrators hold to" and if this contradicts genuine neutrality, neutral editors are likely to be blocked for up to a fortnight.

Also highly recommended are extensive discussions of word definition. Beware of citing any common usage definition! This is generally considered chickening at WP; instead, assume the contrary of this definition and by ways of extended subordinate clauses and historic trivia (this use was first reported in Western Tasmania on a note that allegedly the first mayor of Hogarth Ridge, Joe Doe issued on occasion of the Hogarth Spring Sweeping).

Also, everyday facts are best presented as general opinion (e.g. "...although it should be kept in mind that no conclusive evidence exists one way or the other, many contend that water is wet, the earth is round, and poking sharpened sticks into your eyes is not a particularly good idea") Many people believe that this is what many people believe.

In addition, lists are known to be made and deleted everyday as constant reminders that death IS indeed near, and certain conservatives accuse it of harboring way too many hippie liberals. Wikipedia is further proof that life and indeed every "reliable" source of information has a liberal bias. Who would have thought?

Above all, whatever you do, never, ever, ever post that you are an expert in your field and offer your credentials. There is nothing Wikipediophiles hate more than an expert (defined by Scientific American as anyone with more than 10 years practical experience in a field). Boy, do Wikipediophiles hate experts, because an expert has in their possesion those annoying things called "facts", which is like kryptonite to Wikipediophiles. Wikipediophiles hate facts. If you declare yourself an expert, and if you are stupid enough to offer them proof, you will be called 1) a sock puppet, 2) a robot, 3) a nazi. You will also be spammed out to high heaven on your private email address. And Admins will post insults on your "Talk" page.

So, don't ever try to put any facts past a Wikipediophile, because it gets them mad.

As a highly respected academic institution, Wikipedia attracts the best and brightest from around the world. Pictured with Jimbo (center) on the Arbitration Committee yacht are Dr. Irena Fornikova, 23, a Czech nuclear physicist, and Dr. Anna Bitiyacockoff, 24, a Moldovan submarine engineer. "The vibrant intellectual majesty of Wikipedia brings forth my mind's heat in a most productive manner," says Dr. Fornikova. "Its notably sizable power of knowledge is most dominant indeed," purrs Dr. Bitiyacockoff. "We shall interact this evening with a neutral point of view to and from each of the three of us," says Jimbo. "Assume good faith!"

The history of Wikipedia begins in 1865 BC at the height of the Martian Civil War. Abraham Lincoln Logs, in a stroke of genius, realized that if encyclopedias were written collectively on the internet, then encyclopedia editors would be unemployed, and he could round them up and send them off to fight the Confederacy. Unfortunately, his vision of a publicly edited encyclopedia failed, largely because neither computers nor the internet had yet been invented. However, the all-editor 53rd Light Cavalry Regiment (the "Encyclopedic 53rd") was a smashing success; its most celebrated accomplishment was routing a division of gossip columnists defending Atlanta (this was widely viewed as a vindication after an earlier failure to capture Savannah, when the Confederates distracted the regiment with poorly composed, grammatically incorrect encyclopedia articles strewn about on the battlefield).

However, the concept of a disinformation encyclopedia began with a group of Hungarian rebels, who decided that the best tool to use against the Communist government's spies and informants was misinformation. Infiltrating the offices of the Encyclopedica Hungarica, the rebels typeset a monstrous 53-volume tome (weighing almost 1300 lbs.!), which collected every piece of misinformation, lie, rumor, and mindless drivel they could fit on paper(assembling this misinformation is particularly impressive when one considers that Fox News had yet to be invented).

In the next year, the Hungarian government nearly ground to a halt due to the chaos. As a result, letters and important correspondence went astray due to inaccurate addresses printed in the encyclopedia. KGB spies attempted to round up the heads of the rebel group, but inquiries for "I.C. Weiner", "Ben Dover", and "I.P. Freeley" (listed as the leaders of the rebels by volume 23) produced nothing but puzzlement and smirks. Infuriated, the Hungarian president attempted to fly to the Kremlin to consult with the Soviet Union about the problem, only to find that his pilot had flown him to Moosejaw, Saskatchewan (which the sabotaged Encyclopedia Hungarica described as the capital of the USSR). To this day, much of the damage has yet to be undone: for instance most of the western half of the country still believes that Pi is equal to seven (which accounts for the strangely shaped wheels on the cars there).

In 1999, as a result of a five-dollar bet made over a bottle of bad tequila, this sabotaged version of the 1973 Encyclopedia Hungarica was digitized, placed online, and dubbed "Wikipedia". The term "Wiki" derives from the Hawaiian "wiki-wiki" which means "Some random guy on the Internet said it, so it must be true".

Today the Wikipedia is growing exponentially, defying any Malthusian forces. Considering that it has grown from 3 to 500 000 pages in only 4 years, it is predicted that there will be 117 billion pages in 2007; by 2010, Wikipedia will be able to answer any question ever (some of these answers may, by coincidence, actually be correct). By 2012, Wikipedia will be six and a half times more powerful than God. By 2020 Wikipedia will gain total control of existence as we know it, and will have destroyed/enslaved god by this point. The incredible popularity of Wikipedia is evident in the fact that one in 10 male children born in 2005 were named "Jimbo" (the statistic is one in six for newborn girls). Calculations suggest that at some point in 2027, the total number of servers required to store this (mis)information will exceed the mass of all the hydrogen atoms in the Universe. There is, however, no reason to worry about this. Long before this scenario comes to pass Wikipedia will collapse in on itself to form a massive black hole and then proceed to consume the entire solar system. If that never happens, then it will become into the infinate dimention known as Feburary 30th.

It should be noted that many eminent historians (disclaimer: uncyclopedia makes no guarentees as to whether these individuals are either eminent or historians. uncyclopedia is not censured for minors), disagree with the standard history. According to them, Wikipedia started when the ghost of FDR possessed the body of Jimbo Wales. FDR forced JW to create a modern monument to the New Deal (ND). As a result, WP users should be advised not to break the 3RR or violate NPOV or they will be referred to the ABI. Also, note that users that post PN will be listed by an RCP on the AIV or VIP, unless the RCP has gone through an RFA, in which case the user will be forced to build a dam in the Tennessee River Valley.

In December 2005, John Siegenthaler was outraged to discover that the Wikipedia article on Web comics was 100% factually accurate, and had spurred neither edit wars, nor votes for deletion, nor requests for arbitration. Furthermore, he found that not a single contributor to the article ended up whining on their LiveJournal about how the entire Wikipedia community was out to get them. Siegenthaler immediately published a Wikipedia exposé in the respected daily Der Stürmer, causing frenzied media debate about the continued satirical value of the encyclopedia. In response, Jimbo decreed that henceforth people could neither create nor edit articles unless they had medical or judicial proof of insanity. As Wikipedia continues to grow, such controversies will only continue. Despite the diligent efforts of the Wikipedians, it becomes increasingly difficult to ensure that accuracy, objectivity and non-libelous claims do not find their way into Wikipedia.

When true desperation strikes, Wikipedians have been known to plagiarize Uncyclopedia articles.

After the 2004 recruitment of Wikipedia founder Jimbo by the Church of Scientology, one of the overriding goals of Wikipedia's thriving Scientologist subculture became the addition of new Scientology-related articles and the revision of existing articles to include the Church's viewpoint. Known as WikiProject Scientology, the first phase of the effort involved soliciting Church members to contribute to Wikipedia's August 2005 pledge drive, and its unexpected success resulted in Scientologists becoming the primary financial backer of Wikimedia. Through unofficial Church channels news of this achievement reportedly reached the ears of the majority of Internet-enabled Church member within 24 hours; the influx of new readers and editors dramatically impacted Wikipedia's content and focus. Today, Wikipedia is recognized as the most popular non-commercial Scientologist site on the Web. King Jimbo even gave Scientology profit Tom Cruise control of the Wikilandian Death Star, (as sean below). Within days, many history and technology artices were seen blasted to bits. many supect Cruise is to blame.

The Constitution of WP is one of the easiest of any constituency; it is comparable to The Bremen Town Musicians. On the bottom is the donkey, all the nameless users putting in their favourite hobby, town, musician, or area of learning.

The following, (fittingly cats) are the officials, nobles, wise men, fearless knights, and ministers. Aware of the "Way", they have fought many a battle against rogues, vandals, POV pushers or trolls.

On top of all is someone known by the name Jimbo (or his eminence, King Jimbo I of Wikiland), the ####-on-top of the pyramid. He has, justified by the Divine Right of Kings, adopted the official name of

We, Jimbo the First, by the grace of Ayn Rand, Emperor of Wikiland; King of Wikimedia, Wiktionary, Wikisource, Wikibooks, Wikiversity, Wikinews, Wikispecies, and Commons; Archduke of Meta-Wiki; Duke of the German, French, Japanese, Spanish, Portuguese, Polish, and Dutch Wikipedia; Grand Duke of Meta-Wiki; Prince of Swedish WP; Margrave of Dansk WP; Duke of Catalan, Frisian, Korean, Serbian and Czech, Russian and Ukrainian, Frisian, and Icelandic WP; Prince of the Mailing-list and IRC channel; Princely Count of Walloon, Tartar, and Esperanto and of the Klingon; Queen of England; and Margrave of Latin and Greek Wikis, some times quoted shortly as His most Neutral Highness

One can easily vandalize Wikipedia as long as he posts on his profile this userbox: What|?. Those userboxes are suposed to be informative, anyway. You will then pretend that you edited in the style you knew from Uncyclopedia. The right wing conspiracy gang called experts will notice that you're not on of theirs and will laugh, will revert, but you won't be banned and you'll have another chance for 5 minutes of cheap fun.

Articles in Wikipedia are often deleted with a clever and witty message attached. These "joke deletions" are a fun activity that users play towards each other- whomever writes the cleverest message gets to delete someone else's article, and the author of said article checks up on it only to find it removed, and promptly dies in various fits of laughter. These colloquial sayings are known as "isnotisms," and are presented in the following format:

Although widely thought to be parody by the humor deficient Wikipedians, Uncyclopaedia is a rather posh version of Uncyclopedia that doesn't actually exist because it sucks and was probably created by either Microsoft or the evil creators of Wikipedia so their parody could be more accurate. Besides which, the little ae thingy in the middle is a dipthong and nobody likes those.

Listopedia, an encyclopedia consisting entirely of lists. Articles are created by a random topic generator, with visitors adding to the topic. For example, List of red-headed people who are left handed and wear sunglasses while playing the banjo on Tuesdays before a full moon.

QuickiePedia, dedicated to short snippets of information, no longer than one sentence each.

WikiTrivia, dedicated to providing only the most obscure information, in case you find yourself in a game of Trivial Pursuit in the afterlife used to decide the very fate of your soul.

Wikipinions, a completely biased wiki full of reviews, criticisms, and general views on everything. Most articles begin with why this is a bad idea.

Among the notable figures of the Non-cabal are Snownut, hell-hound guarding the gates of speech, and Raoul666, promoter of text to fame and foremostness.

Strangely enough, in an article from an Uncyclopedia that fell through a hole in space-time, the entirety of Wikipedia's staff (especially the marketing division) was described as "being the first against the wall after the revolution came"

Wheely Willy - a page move vandal sentenced to community service in the arrid landscapes of Arizona.

Big Papa Bot - also known as Maui, the father of all mechanic bots seen in Wikipedia. Acording to some ancient cultures in Polynesia and Aruba, he was married to Rohe, but she left him and became Queen of Uranga-o-Te-Ra. Since that day, Big Papa Bot started a life as a playboy, spreading his seeds around the entire world through random fornication- the Big Bang.

An evil cult called Mys-Information has been discovered, trying to turn everyone into a Wikipedian who thinks everything on Wikipedia is true. Not much is known, but they sacrifice Uncyclopedians at a 500 a day rate.

It is possible to access Wikipedia in the absence of computer hardware or internet access. Information of an identical degree neutrality and reliability may be obtained by reading text found on the door of a public toilet cubicle.