HOW TO MANAGE YOUR TROUBLESOME BOSS ?

Arranging seminars and discussion forums to explore how to manage a troublesome boss is common. Diane Stafford of The Kansas City Star gives some common takeaways from those seminars.

The first one is that you can't change your boss, you can only change your own reactions. It's up to you to figure out the communication style that works best with your boss. The author says it's not about you, it's about the organization, and your interests must be in sync. You need to know what your boss is being measured on and help him or her look good.

That advice may not sit well if you think the balance of power rests unfairly in the boss. True, hierarchical organizations don't distribute authority equally. But you can control some of the pecking order's pecking.

If you have an inflated sense of self-worth or lack understanding about how your job fits in the organization, you're likely to have a rift with your boss - who may not be telling you what you need to know.

"The burden is on you to clarify, to make sure your boss's expectations are clear and that you know what resources are available to you, and what time frame you have," Wagner said. "Don't assume things based on past projects or gossip."

She admitted that it's sometimes hard to give the boss the benefit of the doubt. Some are hard to figure out and truly hard to get along with. But if you can summon the wherewithal to be positive, to be energetic and - above all - to help your boss look good, the relationship may improve.

If, despite your best efforts, you and your boss are still at odds, it's time to move on. That's difficult advice in a tight job market. So try not to quit until you have another offer in hand. But work is too important to stay at odds with a boss who controls so much of your income, career path and happiness.