Appropriate Behavior

Synopsis

For Shirin, being part of a perfect Persian family isn’t easy. Acceptance eludes her from all sides: her family doesn’t know she’s bisexual, and her ex-girlfriend, Maxine , can’t understand why she doesn’t tell them. Even the six-year-old boys in her moviemaking class are too ADD to focus on her for more than a second. Following a family announcement of her brother’s betrothal to a parentally approved Iranian prize catch, Shirin embarks on a private rebellion involving a series of pansexual escapades, while trying to decipher what went wrong with Maxine.

But Sally, this is a rare film where a bisexual woman is not objectified, shown as a transitional thing, or otherwise stereotyped! Doesn't that count more than the fact that there are a lot of transphobic jokes?

Glad you asked. No. No, it fucking doesn't. When you crack a joke at the expense of people who are subject to extreme material oppression, all you do is make us feel like shit. That affects the entire movie, because the mood of the viewer is probably the single most important facet of a film.

so this isn't a *review* so much as it is the intro that i wrote for an interview with the film's writer / director / star but whatever i'm lazy it's my cross to bear:

“Sundance movie” has become something of a dubious distinction over the last 15 years or so, the label suggesting a precious brand of rough around the edges indie filmmaking that labors to soften even the most sensitive experiences into sentimental claptrap. Desiree Akhavan’s debut feature “Appropriate Behavior” is the kind of movie that helps restore “Sundance movie” to its proper definition. It’s the kind of movie that Sundance needs because it’s the kind of movie that needs Sundance.

More than anything else in the world right now, I want a director's cut of The Tale Of The Lost Fart.

If there was one thing that I thought was going to bother me about Appropriate Behavio(u)r, it was the ongoing storyline about Desiree Akhavan not being out to her parents. It was just fatigue on my part, I've seen it about half a dozen thousand times in films (and TV) and I just didn't really fancy another dose of it.

So it's to the credit of this film and Akhavan as its director, writer and lead actor that it ended up not bothering me at all. Instead of being milked for…

Desiree Akhavan directs, writes and stars in Appropriate Behavior, a semi-autobiographical story of a bisexual Iranian-American woman recovering from a breakup in New York City. Comparisons to Girls and Annie Hall fly fast and fierce in discussions of this film, but as a Brown American person who has never fit neatly into any checkbox of culture, gender or sexuality, this resonated with me much more deeply.

The questions of identity that our heroine Shirin deals with are fascinating, not because this is the usual tale of the immigrant child stuck between two cultures, but because Shirin knows exactly who she is and is comfortable, even complacent, with a life of code-switching. I think that's really important, because it's super dumb…

I’m a bisexual. This fact is important in understanding what I felt during watching Appropriate Behavior, so let’s establish that first.

Appropriate Behavior is the first movie I’ve encountered talking about bisexuality and the problems that come with it. This is not surprising, though, because we ‘oscillate’ between heterosexuality and homosexuality. Straights hate us because we don’t conform to their heternormativity, while gay fellows don’t think we’re oppressed enough to join their club (“straight passing”, one might say). It’s honestly refreshing to see a movie exploring the rich and complicated sides of being bi that makes me feel less lonely.…