thanks d00d. i've always lived for the moment but as i said, i can't do most of my hobies so i recently purchased a knife on cs:go and started hitting the gym again to help the cause. and this guy who's been my friend since high school isn't the only one. we have this 5-6 people group gathering every summer in our hometown and one of us is currently studying in CA and he just told me that he's coming here for a month and a half which is huge. i'll just keep playing cs.go and lift some weights to carry this sorrow until i find me a job and get my own place.