Sunday, December 28, 2008

I've been having problems with muscle fatigue while biking and cramping while swimming -- a sure sign of potassium deficiency according to a Web search (though the LTR points out that it's easy to be convinced you have anything when you look up the symptoms online. He's right -- I may have a potassium deficiency or I may be pregnant).

And so I need to eat more bananas, a great source of potassium. Problem is, I hate bananas (but love banana bread, go figure). Another source of potassium: potatoes. Problem is, I avoid carbs like some people want to avoid Rick Warren.

But one food on the list I like and will eat is: spinach!

So I'm about to up my spinach intake and see if that helps. I can't wait to see the lifeguard's face when I pop open a can of the green stuff and guzzle it before hoping into the pool.

Oh, and Mom -- that thing about waiting an hour after you eat to avoid cramps is well, popeye-cock.

Brothers and sisters the choice is ours now. We have the world's attention.We have the capability to create change, awesome change in this world, butbefore we change minds we must change hearts. Sure, there are plenty of hatefulpeople who will always hold on to their bigotry like a child to a blanket. Butthere are also good people out there, Christian and otherwise that are beginningto listen. They don't hate us, they fear change. Maybe in our anger, as weconsider marches and boycotts, perhaps we can consider stretching out our hands.Maybe instead of marching on his church, we can show up en mass and volunteerfor one of the many organizations affiliated with his church that work forHIV/AIDS causes all around the world.

Monday, December 22, 2008

A reader writes me a hypothetical: What would Barack Obama have thought in the 60s if a president had included a preacher in his inaugural who preached that interracial marriage was a sin?

Most likely the preachers who spoke at inaugurals in 50s or 60s DID think interracial marriage was sinful. They surely must have thought and preached that premarital sex was sinful, so Obama's parents were likely doubly condemned.

Warren's religious beliefs lead him to declare homosexuality and gay marriage sinful. That's his right. And Obama has declared he does not share this view. I don't think we gays win anything by demanding someone be excluded from the inaugural because of what he or she believes. We can and should oppose them on the policy front. But prevent him from saying a prayer?

These blessings don't have the import you give to them. Who gave the invocation at Clinton's inaugural? What did he or she say? How did it shape the outcome of the Clinton Administration?

There is a double standard here and it seems to me to be this one: We supported Obama and were willing to overlook the fact that his pastor claimed white people invented AIDS to kill black people. We believed Obama that Rev. Wright didn't inform his views on that topic. Why are we so unwilling to accept Obama's denunciation of Warren's view of sinful homosexuality? His relationship with Warren is far less substantial than his one with Wright. And on the subject of gay marriage Warren and Obama do agree: one man, one woman. We knew Obama's position on this (sadly) before the election. His reaching out to Warren doesn't surprise me, especially given Warren's work in other areas (aid to Africa, which is important to the President-elect)and that fact that Warren's views on homosexuality are (also sadly)part of the Christian mainstream.

It also doesn't surprise me as I re-read Obama's speech on race.

He said:

"I chose to run for president at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together."

That's Obama's overriding goal. To achieve it he cannot afford to be governed by what he, we or anyone might consider moral purity. Common ground must be found even between fierce foes. This point becomes clearer as Obama talks about black rage -- which he thinks is justified. Nevertheless:

"The anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems...and prevents the African-American community from forging alliances it needs to bring about real change."

Another part of Obama's race speech also offers insight into how he might see Warren. Referring to the most divisive and and outrageous comments of Wright, Obama reflects:

"But the truth is, that isn't all I know of the man. The man I met more than 20 years ago is a man who helped introduce me to my Christian faith, a man who spoke to me about our obligations to love one another..."

You get the point. Obama is not the type of person who rejects someone completely if he finds one thing he is vehemently opposed to in a person. Human beings are complex animals and Obama recognizes this. That's a welcome relief from the us vs. them mentality that has been disastrous for our country.

Again, I do agree that we can't give the Obama Administration the benefit of the doubt on following through on policy. I'm more alarmed by Rahm Emanuel's lowering expectations on DADT. That's directly relating to policy, and its far more important than whatever prayer Rick Warren will say on Jan. 20.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Remember that? Wasn't that type of rigid "thinking" part of what we wanted to change from? The whole didactic "us vs. them" mentality that has made our politics poisonous and our government ineffective?

One of the comments I read was from a fellow traveller who whined, "After working so hard to get Obama elected, this is how he repays us?"

Actually, I would hope we wouldn't settle for a pro-gay preacher to say a prayer as "repayment." That's an awfully small reward. I'd hope instead for pro-gay policies, which Obama says he is in favor of and which I think we need to follow through with him to give him support and pressure to make it happen. If I thought all I was going to get from an Obama administration was symbolic gestures to make our community feel good, why, I would have voted for Hillary.

Obama said throughout the election (and I heard him say it several times throughout Nevada, personally) that he wasn't always going to tell us what we want to hear. Guess what? He's delivering on that promise. He's telling us that he is going to deal with all Americans, and that includes the mainstream who are opposed to gay marriage, many of whom, like my own family, believes it is a sin.

It also means he's going to deal with -- and work with -- us. If Obama were playing ideological identity politics, banishing from his administration or state events those who didn't meet a checklist of ideological purity that fit the politics of the moment, we might feel better. Today.

But while we might fit on the list today, politics can change and we might not fit tomorrow.

This is what the big tent feels like. It's full of things that we admire, things that fascinate us and things we fear. And if you're going to have a big tent, there's bound to be a few clowns.

Rick Warren is a clown and this controversy is a circus. Let it go -- there are serious things we need to focus on, like repealing DOMA and DADT.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Conversation with a family member today, consulting on Christmas gifts. Without boring you with the whole conversation, it was essentially me saying, "what about X?" and the family member responding mostly in the affirmative then adding, "just get it at [large national chain store] so they can take it back if they don't like it."

Thanksgiving this year was wonderful fun, primarily due to Eli's visit with us. It included snowball fights, sled riding, turkey (of course) playing with cousins, swimming, weight lifting (the LTR's competition) and long adventurous bed time stories. All things, you know, a part of the radical gay agenda. Here are some photo highlights.

Friday, December 19, 2008

My Democratic Friends:“Please accept (with no obligation, implied or implicit) best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (This is not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country, nor that America is the only country in the Western Hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for himself, herself, or others. This greeting is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

The Rev. Joseph Lowery, civil rights icon (he marched with King) and co-founder of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. He's an African-American pastor who has spoken out for gay rights and is in favor not only of gay clergy but of same-sex marriage (the latter making him more progressive than Obama).

And he's giving the benediction at Obama's inauguration.

And Lowerey's inclusion doesn't mean Obama's changed his position on gay marriage, any more than Rick Warren's inclusion means Obama's backed away from civil unions and the repeal of DOMA.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Do you remember the preacher who gave the invocation at the Clinton inaugural? And the influence exerted by that individual over the ensuing eight years? I don't either. In fact, that person wasn't even mentioned in the WaPo story of the Clinton swearing in.

I've seen no evidence that Obama is changing his mind about any of his pro-gay positions. And although I don't care for Rick Warren's positions on gay people, he probably doesn't care for my positions on gay people.

Frankly, I don't care which witch doctor casts his spells over the inauguration (why is a religious element a part of a matter of state, anyway?). I care about the policy positions of the guy being sworn in. And although I think we need to be taking nothing for granted and hold Obama's feet to the fire, this whole controversy is a sideshow. Not the main event.

She was picked because she brought glamour, history and excitement to the ticket, could whip up the base and boost fundraising.

Yet Sarah Palin turned out to be a disaster.

Caroline Kennedy is being considered for the New York Senate City left by Hillary because....she brings glamour, history and excitement, can whip up the base and fundraise like nobody's businesss.

Okay, I've no doubt Caroline is a sharper cookie than Palin. But the reasons for picking her are the same...aren't they? And Palin at least had run a campaign and gone before voters of her city and state. Caroline wants to skip that part and get one the juicest offices in the land because...of who her family is?

Should we just apologize to Queen Elizabeth and tell her it was all a mistake?

I've come to that conclusion about my family and friends. They just don't support my diet! (And by diet I mean small "d" diet, not like I'm on Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers or some such. I maintain a low carb, low fat diet and rarely consume sweets). But it seems everywhere I turn family and friends are trying to get me to eschew my diet and chew the carbs.

"Just this once" is the operative expression, justifying my straying from the plan that's helped me lose and keep 50 pounds off my "big boned" frame ("You're not "fat," my mom would say to me, just "big boned.") Well, if I ate every piece of cake, cookie or pie every time someone said "just this once" I'd be swelling past "big boned" and right into the "husky" category.

It's not that I don't occasionally go "off diet." I ate homemade pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, along with oyster stuffing (yum!). I'll eat my mom's Christmas cookies next week. I split a dessert at one of our favorite restaurants with the LTR last weekend...which is why I need to skip the stale chocolate that's in the kitchen at my office that everyone keeps telling me to eat.

Why is it other people feel they need to tell me what I need to put in my mouth (don't go there...)? Is it not enough that I'm obviously well-nourished and healthy, needing neither emergency lipo or an anorexic intervention anytime soon? I don't feel compelled to walk around telling friends and family what they shouldn't eat; why must they tell me what I should?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Some people are mad that the HRC is planning an inaugural ball ("We should be marching instead of dancing") but I say let's take it further and urge everyone not to go. Why?

Well, setting aside for a second that HRC is an ineffective civil rights organization (it is) that doesn't deserve your donations (it doesn't), attending won't do us any good. Oh, the pictures will look fabulous in the Washington Blade and Metro Weekly (we clean up well). But if we stick to business as usual (love those Dems, let's all get together and give them our money and votes!!) we get what we've gotten, which is the shaft. What good will it do to ghetto-ize our participation at the Obama inaugural?

Instead, yes -- go celebrate Obama. But go to other inaugural balls and events. Wear your "No on H8" button. Take your partner or boy or girlfriend. Hold hands. Kiss and dance. Talk to people. Let them know you expect Obama to deliver on his promises to our community. Getting a Democrat into the White House wasn't the goal...repealing DOMA and DADT is. Let people know we are watching.

And to be fair, there are other organizations participating in the HRC Ball, ones that are worthy of your contributions. So contribute to them directly and skip the wasteful masturbatory HRC extravaganza.

Here's a list of inaugural events you can chose from. Why isolate ourselves when we don't have to?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Lots has been said and done since the disappointing defeat...the grassroots organized a massive protest and HRC organized a black-tie inaugural gala...and a lot of blaming the No on 8 campaign staff for missteps.

One of those criticisms is that they kept the gay out of the campaign. I tend to buy into that criticism, but Dale Carpenter makes the opposite point:

"This may have been the only strategy that had any chance of winning under the circumstances. If the campaign had frankly presented the case for gay families and marriage we might have lost by a much larger margin. No on 8 leaders were trying to dislodge in five months what people have been taught for a lifetime about homosexuals and marriage. Given the size of the task, it’s amazing we nearly succeeded."

I'd like to think he's wrong. But although I've been out to my family for a good many years now, and out to all my friends, I have family and friends who would have voted "yes" on 8. They accept me and the LTR in every other way. But they can't bring themselves to go for the "m" word. So giving our relationships and even just gayness a "face" may not in this case have worked (Sean Bugg makes the simple and elegant point that the mainstream press viewpoint is that gay people have sex, straight people have relationships. I think that viewpoint is sadly universal).

I'd like to think that being "out" is key to knocking down bigotry and fear. But at least as regard to acceptance to gay marriage in my own family, it has not.

I witnessed an accident this morning. A cyclist was coming east bound in the crosswalk (with the light) across 24th street at Lincoln Circle. A car in northbound lane of 24th ran the light and blocked the crosswalk...and stopped because of traffic in front of him. The cyclist, a young woman, frustrated by being cut off, slapped the hood of the guy's car. Bad move. But wait...there's more.

The driver, enraged, gets out of his car and starts running toward the cyclist. Crap, I thought, he's going to attack her. Except he forgot one thing: to put his car in "park."

So he steps for the cyclist and his car keeps going down 24th street without him, edging over into the left lane (maybe it thought the cyclist was going to hit it again). In doing so, it nearly pinned the cyclist and the driver against another car. Fortunately the hothead driver was able to get back in and put the thing in park (not before howling in pain).

Luckily no one was really hurt, though I expect the car driver to have some nasty bruises.

I called 911 and filed a statement with the police once they got there and sorted things out. As I was leaving the car driver came to me and introduced himself (one wouldn't think that after you've almost crushed a cyclist under the wheels of your car that you'd turn it into a networking opportunity, but this is Washington). I politely told him to share the road...to which he began explaining to me it was the cyclists' fault.

Sensing that my work there was finished, I remounted my bike and made it (safely) to work.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

If we let the Bible define "traditional marriage" then these changes should be made (4.00 / 5)If we are to let the Bible define what "traditional marriage" should look like, then our marriage laws should be amended as such: ~snark~

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

Many Bible passages don't make sense in todays society, but they are ignored by those who seek to keep all Gay people oppressed.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

For all you out-of-towners worried about where you're going to stay on this historic Inauguration Day -- forget that. Worry about where you're going to pee.DC Metro (our "subway" for the uninitiated -- and by the way, stand to the right on the escalators. If you actually encounter one in service, that is ) has announced it will be closing its bathrooms for security reasons (not that they were readily accessible to begin with).Instead they will be setting up port-a-potties, about 1 for every 6,849 people according to one estimate.So, although Obama is going to turn the page, I guess a lot of us will probably still be looking for a bush come Jan. 20.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I'm not in much of a Christmas spirit this year...I don't really have a good reason (other than perhaps the let down of not having Eli here. We had a truly wonderful visit but it just doesn't seem worth celebrating without a child around. I don't have a religious reason to celebrate it. When I announced the other day to the LTR I didn't think I'd decorate this year he was shocked...and disappointed. This surprised me greatly. Every year I talk of my grandiose plans for decorating, which always includes getting the largest tree I can fit under our 12 foot ceiling. Each year he ribs me for it, protesting and complaining. So can he possibly be surprised when I decide if I'm just going to decorate for my own edification it's not worth it? Apparently, he can be. So he says he's going to do some decorating which means I'm going to have to end up doing it anyway, because you know he just won't do it the right way. Sigh.

And what I'm really dreading most of all is the shopping. Basically my family just does each other's shopping at Christmas time. We trade lists and go to town, ticking off each item. It's just not fun. I tried suggesting last year to my mother that we just buy for the kids or, at most, the kids plus each buy for one adult whose name we pick out of a hat. She looked as if she had seen a Grinch. I feel like Charlie Brown at the beginning of his Christmas special...I just don't get it anymore. Thus ends the longest parenthetical in the history of Scott's Take).

But it doesn't matter. We must all bow down before the power of Santa.

UPDATE II: A friend and reader points out to me that both Clinton inaugural parades included a large contingent from the Names Project, marching with quilt panels. That was a big deal, and in fairness to the Clinton administration, I should point that out (yes, folks, I'm actually acknowledging something positive about the Clintons. It must be Christmastime...).

This is the first time in history an openly gay group will be in the parade (Clinton okayed gays taking part on the side lines in his two inaugurations).

I hope my friends at LGBA will make sure to get the word out, as the fact that our community actually has LGBT bands is a well kept secret. And some folks are already getting antsy about gay visibility in the festivities.

Politico provides us with a list of Gov. Rob's most salacious actions. My favorite, in the "are you out of your freakin' mind" category, is:

9. White House hopes: Being governor of Illinois, possibly appointing himself to the Senate or taking on a posh private-sector gig wasn’t enough for Blagojevich, who expressed “a desire to remake his image in consideration of a possible run for president in 2016.”

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Yesterday Eli and I ate lunch at Bertucci's in Old town. He had a grilled cheese focaccia sandwich and juice. I had a grilled chicken Caesar salad with anchovies (which is an extra charge) and a large soft drink. Hot rolls and a delicious garlic oil dip was thrown in gratis. I paid $16 before the tip. We had a friendly waiter and good service. It was a great lunch.

Today we ate at the National zoo's "Mane Restaurant (get it, cute...)". He had a hot dog and a juice. I had a grilled chicken Caesar and a large soft drink. We stood in line to get our food and the workers behind the counter were surly. I paid $21. And to say the food sucked would be doing the word "suck" a disservice (after all, the word can be applied in pleasing ways). Eli only ate a third of his hot dog. And I could only eat my salad because I was hungry and was pretty sure the lettuce hadn't been scraped out of the bottom of an old garbage can, although that was a matter of faith on my part and not a matter of taste. I think the Museum of Natural History must have sent over a mummified hen from their "ancient peoples" exhibit for the chicken in the salad. There was no way the flimsy plastic knife was going to hack its way through that wannabe football.

I've known tourist places like to price gouge families...but since I only infrequently take a child to dine in them it's a shock to the system to see it in action. During Eli's last visit we went to the Museum of Natural History (Eli wanted to see the Mummified Fowls of Ancient Egypt exhibit) and we ended up in the cafeteria there (keep in mind, when one thinks of the word "cafeteria" one expects modest food AND modest prices). Eli wanted a slice of pizza. They had single slices of pizza, in one size: huge (one could assume that all that grease wouldn't fit something smaller).

To be charitable, I thought, well, if we were a family with multiple kids we would split it up. Still, I wasn't the only single parent with one kid in tow. And as I predicted, he ate a small third of it (before his arteries clogged and he turned into a pillar of salt). I forget the cost of the "slice" but I do remember it wasn't cheap. I suppose I could have taken it home for leftovers, but if the Department of Homeland security didn't get me for transporting a bio hazard through the nation's capital then Child Protective Services would have taken me in for child abuse.

For all those politicians who talked about helping "working families" or protecting "family values" I'd say a good place to start would be in the national capital's government and quasi-government run tourist attractions. Guys: you're feeding trash to the families who visit them (and we're not talking Disney here, we're talking Smithsonian Institution and the National Zoo) and charging them an arm and a leg for it.

Hell, it'd be healthier just to close the junk joints down and let us gnaw off our own arms and legs if we get hungry. At least it would be fresh.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Riding on the elevator at the new Target/Best Buy/Washington Sports Club complex, Eli and I heard a mother with young children in tow say something like this to an older woman (I think her mother):

"My fucking hand still hurts. And that fucking doctor didn't do a fucking thing about it."

And she said it in a normal, conversational tone, in front of Eli, her kids and everyone. Now, I can let loose with an occasional "fucking" (though "goddamn it!" is my curse of choice) but never in public (unless I'm really losing it) and never in front of kids and DEFINITELY never in front of mother.

So I said, "Would you please watch your language in front of my child?"

Which got me cussed out. As I expected, but one shouldn't take rudeness lying the fuck down, right?

I don't have a problem with swear words but do think it's rude to spout them in public with strangers present. I usually save all my swearing for the LTR. And kids don't know when it's appropriate to use them...as in the case of a coworker who's husband said "Jesus Fucking Christ" in front of their three year old, who then proceeded to use that expression in front of his devout grandmother over the holidays.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Want to fight global warming by saving a real Christmas tree by going fake this year?

Think again. Our desire to celebrate the birth of Christ by going all pagan at by killing a pine tree and propping it up in our living rooms to watch them drop needles on our floors is helping to save the planet.

Christmas trees aren't wild. They are grown as a crop, with an estimated 446 million growing in the US today. For every tree cut, one to three are planted. A single tree on average absorbs 48 pounds of CO2 (greenhouse gas) a year. That's 21,408,000,000 pounds of global warming getting soaked up a year. That makes up for the CO2 emitted by 1,070,400,000 families and their cars per year. And if we weren't buying these trees, who would plant them?

Yes, yes, we use more electricity to light these trees...but if you're using a fake tree you're using the same extra electricity without the benefit of funding the CO2-absorbing tree farms. And don't those fake trees come in a cardboard box?

The other thing to know about fake trees is that 85 percent of them are made in China...a nation not known for its eco-friendly manufacturing practices. The real trees I'm talking about are grown right here in Sarah Palin's America, gosh darnnit.

So go head. Kill a tree and put it in your house. The planet will thank you.

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About Me

I'm an Introvert and I vote. 48 year-old trying to figure it all out. Recently ended 24 year relationship, father of a 7 year old wanna be Ninja and construction worker. Introspected and introverted. Usually serious, sometimes silly. Communications consultant. Very opinionated but seldom smart. Seeking insight and laughter in 2012.