There’s all this talk about lollipop-headed anorexic actresses with heads too big for their body. Please. Those noggins are lightweights compared with Jay’s disproportionate head. Specifically, his elephant man chin.

Punching it will assuredly result in nerve damage to my left hand, as I suspect the bone is twice as thick as other talk show hosts. So Jay’s chin, which Google Earth is reputedly zeroing in on, would be better served with a trip to plastic surgeon Steven M. Hoefflin. If he could make Michael Jackson’s face disappear, this medical magician could certainly shave down that late-night eyesore.

Made Michael's face disappear? Funny. I thought people without faces couldn't live. Oh wait. Michael had a face. You're just too ugly and ignorant to look at it and see it's beauty. Maybe if you had a life and didn't spend it talking shit about the King of Pop you'd get somewhere in this world.

Uh, is your album the highest selling ever? Oh wait, you don't have one. That's Michael's album Thriller. Because he's the fucking KOP and his legacy will live forever. Just letting you know.

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