Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Leave me paralyzed, love...

So, everyone knows that no matter who you are, where you come from, where you go, and who you meet... there is always going to be someone in your life that you can never forget. Someone that leaves such an impression on your life; someone who affects you and grabs hold of you in a way that won't ever allow you to let go. It doesn't matter in the slightest bit that you only knew this person for a few months, weeks, days... that you never kissed them or spent the night with them or went to one of their family parties and met their second-cousin-thrice-removed. It doesn't matter if you never knew their favorite color or who their favorite football team is; it wouldn't even matter if you knew everything about them in every way, shape, and form that you could know those things. I think that in life, some people just attack who you are- not in a violent, I'ma-tough-kid-who-puts-you-down kind of attacking, here... they challenge you, inspire you, feel you, understand you, fit-into-who-you-are-as-a-person puzzle-piece you. And the people who do that... how can you ever forget those relationships? The effect that their simply being can have?
That's the kind of person that leaves you paralyzed. Completely hypnotized; stuck in a moment in time that you can't escape from. How entirely fair that is can of course be tossed completely to hell, but there's no way to walk away from something that once had you so completely locked down and never let go again. It's like you walked away but left everything that meant everything there, in that one place... and how do you get it back again? And there's no way to prove that it's really that one person holding you in that place... which begs the question of how exactly you're supposed to accept the consequence of that part of your life, and to grasp movement and move on. How do you untwist yourself, unentangle yourself from something that never gave you the okay to let go? How do you keep it from brushing against every other thing you ever try to accomplish after it, without it completely pulling you back again?
I'm quite sure that I'm rambling now... Adieu.