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26 February 2012

Facing the Days

We all have things in life that we really don't want to do. It has come time again to do some things that I really don't want to do, and I don't have much of a choice. If it weren't for the necessity, I wouldn't be working the job I have, but things have to be done. I know that I have bills to pay off, namely student loans, and I know that I need to keep a steady income. Not everyone is going to love their job, and I know that.

So, with a grin on my face and a whole lot of effort, I go in to work a job that I really don't want to have, knowing that I don't like it, and I do what I have to do to make ends meet. I smile, I laugh, I do what needs to be done, I keep a good attitude about it, and I bottle everything bad up until the end of the day when I leave, and I finally let it all out, all the frustration spewing forth like crazy, my boyfriend on the phone trying to calm me down when he's going through a rough time himself, God bless him.

Perhaps one day I'll learn to love it. Perhaps one day I'll be able to walk in happy, or at least in a mediocre mood. I'm always ready to do the work that's expected, but perhaps I'll be a bit more prepared than usual, and accepting of it. Right now I'm still in the stage where everything is difficult for me. I come home at the end of the day in pain, crying, frustrated, stressed, ready to scream. It's jobs like this, though, that make the world go round. Everyone needs food, everyone needs a place to buy things, and these are the jobs that keep the world going, these are the jobs that keep businesses running. People can do it, it can be done. I just have to learn.

It's nothing like my other jobs. It makes my other jobs look like a cakewalk. It's rough. It's demanding. It doesn't have as much satisfaction at the end of the day. Overall, it's just not as good of a job. Maybe one day I'll find something about it that will make me think differently. Maybe one day I'll get used to it. Here's to hoping that doesn't take me too long.