This is an extremely personal post, but as parents, we need to see what we are doing as a reflection of who God is. Our children’s first view of God, is what they see in us. So this is what I’ve learned through motherhood:

How quickly you move for those little cries in the middle of the night. Even when I am in my deep sleep, I still jump up to take care of my boys and I am quick to do so. I will cuddle them, feed them, tend to needs, and just be there when they need mama. Especially in the early weeks and months of Caleb and Jonah’s lives, there would be many nights while they would cry for mommy that I would cry out for my heavenly father. If I was so quick to jump for my earthly sons, it only made sense that God would be there to comfort me when I needed it. He may not have answered through sleep, but he did answer in giving peace and He was always there.

Now that Jonah is older and his personality is beginning to really come through, we struggle at food times, and one night while he was banging on his tray and fussing, we began explaining patience, but it turned into a lesson much more relatable for mommy and daddy (particularly in the season of waiting we are in right now)—Jonah often has to wait for his food because it is too hot, the pieces are too big, etc. We never withhold to be mean. God does the same with us, He doesn’t withhold to be mean, He makes us wait on his timing because it is what’s best for us and just maybe, His best is not ready yet.

The struggle of disobedience. Having a child with their own mind (unfortunately when you see a reflection of yourself in them) can make you a bit crazy. I wouldn’t be speaking the truth if I said that I always remained calm and always did the right thing, but my goal for the heart of disobedience of my kids is to train them to follow Christ. Discipline hurts–it hurts them and it hurts me when I have to do it, but I know it is ultimately for the best. God’s discipline is no different for me. When I am struggling, he corrects me–but it hurts His heart just as it hurts mine to go through refinement.

How selfish I was before having a child and just how selfless you become when becoming a mother. I won’t lie, there are times when I wish I could sleep in till 9:00, or go out without packing along a small suitcase (what it feels like), but I wouldn’t give up this opportunity to be a mother and how I lay down my desires to do what’s best for my son. I can now understand a little bit more clearly now about why Christ was so willing to die on our behalf. He exhibited the most selfless love by going to the cross. I am guessing that in my life, I won’t have to die so that my son might live, but if I had to, I would gladly do so in a heartbeat. That is exactly how Jesus felt about us.