Pakistan hates women

Pakistan hates women. It is the bitter pill of truth we must all swallow.

Pardon me for being so blunt, but I’m not wrong. When you live in a country in which 80 per cent of the women are subjected to domestic abuse, then one can do nothing but point his or her finger at the collective psyche of the nation, within which misogynist ideas are so profoundly ingrained. There’s nothing wrong with particular individuals but something is terribly awry with us as a whole.

If there’s one thing Mukhtaran Mai’s struggle has taught us, it is that this nation abhors rape victims more than it despises rapists. Our society, in lieu of teaching its men not to rape, focuses on telling women not to get raped. The onus is upon the woman to make sure she doesn’t fall prey to men’s lust by restricting her own freedom of movement and dressing like a nun.

If she ever gets raped, our sanctimonious society shall attack her like wolves.

It will torment her with snide comments like:

“Oh, she brought it on herself! The way she smiles in the company of strange men.. and those revealing sleeveless dresses she wears in public. Tsk tsk…”

This brings me to SlutWalk, a movement that appears to be gaining momentum in the West. In an uber-conservative society like ours, the full purpose of SlutWalk might seem impractical but this new wave of feminism raises some excellent points about the discrepancy concerning the way sexuality is viewed among men and women.

Among men, sexuality is widely celebrated, even if it’s ‘sotto voce.’ A sexually attractive male is honoured with terms like “stud” and “hero,” while a woman open about her sexuality is booed and looked upon with utter contempt.

For a boy, getting a pretty girl to fall for him is a “conquest.”

For a girl, the same would earn her the title of a “slut”.

This is precisely the kind of misogynistic attitude that women like Mukhtaran Mai have to face in their battles for justice. We, as a nation, are so hopelessly fixated on the stereotypical portrait of the Pakistani woman as a shy, insecure, dupatta-clad person cooking rotis in the kitchen, that any other version of her leaves us petrified.

Pakistan hates women. In fact, we are the third-worst country in the world for a female to be born in. It is the bitter pill of truth we must all swallow, because if we are to seek rehabilitation, the first step is to stop living in denial.

“…Pardon me for being so blunt, but I’m not wrong. When you live in a country in which 80 per cent of the women are subjected to domestic abuse, then one can do nothing but point his or her finger at the collective psyche of the nation…”

So it means out of 5 women in your household, 4 are being subjected to domestic violence?

The writer seems to be generalizing very easily. USA has 10 times more rape than Pakistan and I have never heard anyone saying this.

But that police office of Toronto was very correct. Plz don’t dress like a slut if you have to avoid sexual abuse. And that police officer was not a Pakistani nor a Muslim. Its just common sense which Pakistanis fail to understand. They put so much pressure on that guy that he had to apologize.

For Women: If you dress nude and expect men not to gaze at you then wake up before its too late.

For men: If you expect that you can only gaze at other women and nobody will gaze at your mothers & sisters then wake up before its too late.

Both are at fault. This media cannot give full leverage to any one gender. Psychology tells us about rapists that provocative dressing is the first step towards adultery. Recommend

Word Life

@ Faraz

“… Pardon me for being so blunt, but I’m not wrong. When you live in a country in which 80 per cent of the women are subjected to domestic abuse, then one can do nothing but point his or her finger at the collective psyche of the nation…”

So this means 4 out of 5 women in your household are being subjected to domestic abuse?
(I am just going by the numbers you have quoted)Recommend

Arslan

For a boy, getting a pretty girl to fall for him is a “conquest.”
For a girl, the same would earn her the title of a “slut”.

Word Life,
The figure quoted by the author comes from a credible study conducted by PIMS on domestic abuse.Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

Ali,
In Pakistan, most of the rape cases go unreported because it becomes a matter of shame for the family. Also, the rape victim is usually reluctant to file a complaint against the rapist because losing the case might result in the victim herself getting punished for adultery.

So it’s not fair to compare rape cases in Pakistan with the developed world, where there’s a lot more transparency.Recommend

Fahad Raza

Keep it real dude.! Can’t we shout out at women abuse/domestic violence with decency.?? I mean bluntness might be revolting and counter productive to the cause. Now That’s totally bad we came 3rd on that list we should try to get off that list. But by promoting decency and respect towards women in our homes and out in streets.
And speaking of Mukhtara Mai wasn’t it because of MALE judge who took sou motto action then in the end then due to “technical incompleteness” of lack of evidence the case was dismissed.
What happened was that people didn’t like the end of duo process.
Slut walks was completely a different thing which you mentioned it was in West Hollywood locality was about those who were abused and raped were not responsible for what happed to them. until they say yes….+… promoting sluts
..here’s the link courtesy The young turkshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN2ZJ_02FwYRecommend

Sidonta

@Ali:
At ali most of the cases in Pakistan are in rural areas. I say most. And you tell me when do women in rural areas dress nude. Mukhtaran mai bikinis may phirti thi jo us ka rape hua? Stupid senseless argumentRecommend

Arslan

@Loneliberal PK:
You didn’t answered his/her question: do you mean that 4/5 of women in literally every household are victims of ‘domestic violence’ ? What are the criteria of ‘domestic violence’ ?Recommend

Silas

@Arslan:
I think it means in 80% of the households, not 80% women.Recommend

http://www.google.com BP

Pakistan hates men too.

In fact Pakistani society hates anything different. I think society as an institution strives to dominate and grow by assimilating people, and if you don’t conform you’re on the outs with it.Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

Arsalan,
What kind of a question is that?! There’s no practical way to determine that. Such studies are NOT carried out by a research team travelling door to door across the country asking women if they’re being thrashed by the men in their homes. These are conducted by taking case samples which are thought to be representative of the entire population.

In this study, PIMS researchers interviewed a specially selected group of women in their maternity unit, and found out that 80% of them were victims of psychological and physical abuse.Recommend

http:/www,tribune.com.pk Qasim Ahmad Ilyas

Oh thank God, at least my family is free form misogynists. Author can you explain what is hatred against females in Pakistan?Recommend

http://www.habibies.com Habibies

Only Stupid and Non-Scene People hates Women….
i Love Women Coz
Women is my Mother…
Women is my Sister etc….Recommend

blah

I believe women are also equally responsible. After all its usually the woman who is bringing up her sons and its only her who can change their mindsets towards other women. Recommend

Arslan

@Silas:
That still seems a bit too much… Third World countries have all these problems with women, but to put Pakistan at n°3 of the worst place for a woman in the world seems too improbable… Recommend

Hussam

A male feminazi. Cute.

Girls who expose parts of their body that aren’t meant to be exposed lose the right to complain about being stared at. It’s as simple as that really. This does not give men the right to rape girls and I fully support punishment according to Islamic laws on rapists, but at the same time if girls come out and complain about being stared at while exposing cleavage..then I’m sorry that’s just retarded on their part. OBVIOUSLY you’ll be stared at if you show your cleavage in public. Because if you show it, it means you WANT people to look at it. And let’s face it and be honest about this. Girls LIKE being appreciated by members of the opposite sex as long as they are people who are socially acceptable to them or who they view in high regard. This means, they will feel grossed out if a truck driver checks them out BUT will feel flattered at being stared at by someone from the same or higher social class than them.Recommend

Naumann

Damn, what a drawing room statistic this “racially biased against Pakistan” newspaper has presented, without any proof or facts. Just figures that are churned out by hair dressers and taxi drivers in Pakistan, and the same hired by this aga khani agency to project & further damage the image of Pakistan.

You all spread nothing but false lies & hatred in the young minds of Pakistan. It is people like you that give decent Pakistanis a bad name.Recommend

Zara

Author, next time use a thesaurus wisely and not just to sound educated when you clearly haven’t quoted your “research” sources!!Recommend

I should laugh at how the defensive mechanism, that seems to be ingrained in every Pakistani, kicks in every time someone points out the horrible realities of this country. Instead, I pity this state of denial.Recommend

Curious

@ali “USA has 10 times more rape than Pakistan” Because NOT all of rape cases are reported in Pakistan, don’t be so ignorant!Recommend

ayesha

this was no doubt one of THE BEST article i have ever read on tribune.loved each and every word of itRecommend

Rumx

“Our society, in lieu of teaching its men not to rape, focuses on telling women not to get raped.”

Well said. This mentality shows that the authority wouldn’t be held accountable for it’s actions rather the victim would be blamed on. This is just not about this particular case but it’s the delima of our system which needs to get changed

If you are having load shedding then stop using electricity. If shortage of water is the pain in your neck, then stoop using that as well. This ain’t gonna take us anywhere.Recommend

Asma Ali

the subject is good but author was without any credible sources to back his claim.it is general and without content worth reading. I hope he will improve next time. To me he merely picked up the subject after “Pakistan is 3rd worst country for its women ” story emerged.Recommend

Rumx

“Our society, in lieu of teaching its men not to rape, focuses on telling women not to get raped.”

Well said. In our society, the authorities wouldn’t be held accountable for it’s actions rather the victim would be blame on. It’s not just in this particular case but it is the delima of our society which needs to be changed.

If you are having load shedding the stop using electricity. If shortage of water supply is a pain in your neck then stop using that as well. This mentality ain’t gonna take us anywhere progressive. Recommend

CaffeinatedBliss

Ali, your ignorance is astounding. Believable, yet astounding.

You sit on a high horse and expect the women to take the responsibility of rape? How about those men be told to you know… control themselves? A lot of Pakistani men (and men around the world) do NOT just attack and rape women who dress like (as you call it) “sluts” – And, do you know why? Because they exercise control.

Please don’t tell me you have a tough time controlling yourself. If you see a practically nude woman on tv, do you attack the female nearest you? Recommend

Xam Xaffa

I Don’t Think That’s True. And 80%?!?!?!!! Are U Sure?? What’s The Source On That?
And Only One Case To Support Such A Drastic Statement? Recommend

Very good article, and it’s not surprising to see that most of the people commenting here are in denial, which is proving the point further..Recommend

Derdriui

@Ali:

Please don’t impose your ugly thoughts on you mother, your sisters, your wife or any children of yours. If you have female children, please don’t reach them to blame themselves if they get sexually abused. And yes, the women who are sexually abused are not to blamed for that, the abuser is to be blamed.

Are little children who are molested responsible for not covering their hair and their knees?

How can you blame the victim?

Are men so stupid and evil that they cannot help but rape women and traumatize them for life?Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

Asma,
The author has indirectly provided links to the studies by linking his article to two other ET blogs on the same subject. And what’s wrong with picking up the subject after the emergence of “Pakistan-is-third-worst-country” story? Of course, the issue deserved to be revisited in the light of this recent revelation.Recommend

http://www.6la8.com Confused

What are you talking about?! We love all women. Ofcourse, if they dress like sluts they definitely deserve it, it IS their fault you know, guys can never control themselves. Thought everybody knew that.

@Hussam:
Im a hijabi and i get stared at. It’s gross and demeaning. I have been in a few situations when i was out alone in broad daylight on my way home from University when i was harassed by men.
I feel that another girl who might not have her head covered or may be wearing jeans instead of a kurta shalwar has as much right to complain about being harassed/abused as i do.

As for the 80% figure, i think it’s probably right. Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, it can be verbal or emotional as well. If i take a look around me i can easily find lots of women in my circle of friends and family who are subjected to abuse everyday.

Lets be open to criticism and try to change for the better instead of picking meaningless points to argue on. Recommend

http://fruitforbidden.wordpress.com/ The Forbidden Fruit

Oh please. You, the author, are also guilty of stereotyping the whole nation! Did you read about the miniskirt and low-rise jeans ban in Italy and Sri Lanka?Recommend

Mirza

@Ali:
I don’t know at what planet are you living? There are nude beaches and cities, but no excessive rapes. Rapes are not more in coastal areas than the interiors of any country (US and Pakistan included). In fact most of these atrocities are committed in small towns and less educated areas, this includes both Pakistan and the US. In fact sex crimes are mostly not committed in large cities of the world.

Another important point is the definition and reporting of rape and you may or may not want to confuse that with sexual assault. Like World Bank president is accused of sexual assault and not rape. While there is not much awareness of sexual assault among Pakistanis, in more modern societies even forced touching would be regarded as a crime. The regular accepted touching and pinching of women in Pakistan would be sexual assault in North America, a crime punishable by law.

To open the eyes of most Pakistani men the rape and sexual assault is different in the West. If a person’s wife tells him no and he still has sex wit her, it is rape. If a man brings in a prostitute and pays her and she tells him no at any stage, he must stop otherwise it is a rape. Many men are in jail for raping their wives. It is not like what is wife for? Where am I going to go if not her? She is not my mother or sister, this is her duty.

At any stage of the “process” if a woman no matter who she is says no, that means no and stop right there otherwise it is rape. No excuses, no argument, no ignorance, one would straight go to jail for long. It is that reason that rapes are few and far in between and almost all of them are promptly reported. It is not like why did this slut took my money and came to my home? Or she is refusing after 3 times and four hours it is my right, she had agreed to it. A woman has right to say no at any stage and the man must stop. It is like a traffic stop sign, and everybody must stop when they see that sign. Ignorance of the law and being drunk is no excuse.

I hope that I have cleared the minds of at least some men here. Regards,
Mirza, USARecommend

Arslan

@ak:
“Domestic abuse isn’t just physical, it can be verbal or emotional as well.”

lol… so 80% of men – like the chaiwala – are concerned too, right ?
About staring, I’ve read a piece by an Egyptian feminist some weeks ago about the same situation in her country, and I think that it’s quite common in a lot of countries, Islamic ones : it has to do with the gender-separation, men ‘don’t know’ women, and the only way to do is by imagenry, so they just sexualize women’s body…

But even that i) doesn’t mean ‘Pakistanis hate women’ and ii) 80% of ‘domestic violence’ seems inaccurate, and even if it’s the definition as you put it (psychological violence), I’m sure that majority – like me – understood ‘punching’ instead of ‘insulting’ by reading the ‘domestic violence’ expression.Recommend

Sara

@Arslan: So you mean to say everyone should be naked all the time, so that there is no imagination taking place?Recommend

@Arslan:
“and I think that it’s quite common in a lot of countries, Islamic ones : it has to do with the gender-separation, men ‘don’t know’ women, and the only way to do is by imagenry, so they just sexualize women’s body…”

That may be the reason why they do it but it’s no excuse!

And if you misunderstood what domestic abuse then that’s not the author’s fault. Think again, if you count all the swearing and cussing that is directed towards women in their homes along with the maar pitai then 80% is a pretty believable figure. Recommend

Today i SAW The profile news which show that irresponsible ,societal, and abused sexual behavior from men to women .
this is an abuse statement
In Pakistan the rape ratio slidely decrease from previous 10 years as the manner of male populating ratio .now according to the UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION survey list shows the women is the 52 % ratio of total population. in this manner the male ratios 48% and may decrease such ratio the passage of year.
the rape cases decrease as the manner ratio of male .
it means today the multi protection provide to the female as in shape of luxurious life beside the company( where she worked as an employee.)
only 20% ratio of male may pay abuse sexual feeling for female. it is because every person have aware about the lane laws of QURAAN( THE RELIGIOUS BOOK OF MUSLIMS)
Provide the innocence plat form male to female increase as today the female advance in education, advance in payment , advancing facilitation of transport , etc.
I am the formal student of M.B.A but still today make plans for my future but all plains in vain, when i have not platform of job.

Resultantly ,
the women enjoy the better life as per ratio on rape from to other countries.
as in case of Mukhtaran Mai after that incident she is now enjoying the luxurious life .
“that kind of life may seen in our dream or every poor men my saw sch life of his dream .

the writer Trying his best to pay the true incidents of life nor aim to blame any personality neither to aim to abuse scenes of life.Recommend

http://www.usamakhilji.wordpress.com Usama Khilji

“the first step is to stop living in denial.”
The irony is apparent throughout the comments. Accept that the way women are viewed ad treated in our country is horrible, and women feel unsafe and insecure going to public places because they’re subject to scrutiny by males everywhere.

Also, we need to understand the difference between rape and adultery. Adultery involves voluntary extra-marital sex, which means that both the man and woman consent to the act. On the other hand, rape is forced sexual assault, which is often violent in nature.

There is nobody that deserves rape, because it has severe long-lasting consequences for the survivor. The author is rightfully pointing out how rape victims often do not get justice, and are often ridiculed, even though it is them who are forced in the act, and suffer the most. Hence, the onus has to be on the assaulter rather than the victim/survivor to prove innocence.

Regardless of the dress or actions of a female, harassment and abuse is never justified, and never should be. Recommend

Sid

@Hussam:
Look, if a women is dressed that way, men should be responsible to control their actions. Fine, staring shouldn’t be complained about. Men stare, women also stare. The thing is physical harassment, pushing, rubbing, groping all the way down to the rape. You are right that a women shouldn’t complain about men staring at their cleavage if she is showing it, BUT this simply does NOT give men the right to physically harass them. NO, NO HELL NO.
Do women do that? A guy can walk down a street with his unbuttoned shirt and shorts and nobody will have a problem with that. But if a girl wears a low neck, she is termed a slut and everybody has a right to harass her? This is *** unfair. Two faced people. Has it ever happened with us men, that we have been physically harassed by women because we were dressed in such a way? No? Do women do that? No. Then who gives men the right to do that. Why the discriminatory attitude. Men should be responsible for their premature feelings. If men can dress in whatever way they want because they feel good that way, women should also do that and nobody has the right to harass them. Period.Recommend

Sehr A

@Derdriui:

I absolutely agree. I’m shocked by all these pigs who think men who rape are poor helpless creatures FORCED into it by evil not-covered-enough women.

These perverts who think there is such a thing as ‘earning’ rape because you’re not covered in enough layers to be completely invisible to men, they say this because they are themselves incapable of or more accurately just UNWILLING to stop staring at every female who passes like she’s a piece of meat.

And you are right, if someone’s sick mind and actions are SO uncontrollable, then you can hide all the women away and they will just start at children and animals. Because…y’know…the poor savage beasts cannot control themselves

@ Ali, I agree with Derdriui: I feel sorry for your daughters…because God forbid, if they are abused by their maulvi saab (hey, it happens!), they won’t be getting any empathy from their father, only blame and shame, and who knows, maybe punishment!Recommend

Happy

Pakistani women, quite complicated. So full of jealousy, abusive words, full of hatred against each other women, arrogant. Even a mother with her daughter in-laws. Talk high about value but cant appreciate men good enough. When you got angry you lose control and have no respect to others at all. Its absolutely unislamic. Teach them some manner instead, or else, domestic abuse is no wonder.Recommend

Aafan

Dear Faraz

Appreciate the efforts you put in for this article, albeit not only me but i am sure most of the audience here are done reading One dimensional/ biased blogs.
By no means i am saying that what ever you wrote is incorrect or does not reflect our society, but my friend the phenomenons you mentioned here to support your thoughts are universal.
Guys ogle at girls especially who are willing to show some skin in any part of world, its just the fact that women in most part of the world do not have double standards. (Get your records straight my friend)
“Oh, she brought it on herself! The way she smiles in the company of strange men.. and those revealing sleeveless dresses she wears in public. Tsk tsk…”
What is your point here !! I cant come up with one single reason why does a woman show her skin if she does not want to listen comments like “sexy” “hot” “adorable”. That is how it works in our new so called “KOOL” society.
By no means i am being biased here or by no means i want to leave my image as a person who believes in a male dominant society, but i abhor double standards. We all do.
When was the last time you saw a guy labelled as “sexually attracted” walking topless on streets?
Try to rationalize your complaints here, it happens in our society because we belong to a different religion, different social concepts and different morals. Recommend

Hussam

@Sid, this is why I said that I fully support punishment for rapists and my statement did not mean that men can physically harass girls.

As far as your other point about men wearing unbuttoned shirts and shorts, let’s be honest. There are certain differences in the female and male body. A male exposing his chest is NOT the same as a female exposing hers. This is why females chests are stared at more than men.

@ak, this can also unfortunately be explained, though you may not like the explanation. Unfortunately prostitution is flourishing and growing in this country. And unfortunately many prostitutes are said to wear hijab and burkas out on the road so as not to arouse suspicion with the law. This however in no way gives the right for anyone to judge you in anyway, and I am in no way saying that you should not wear hijab. I would advise you to avoid travelling alone. Wearing hijab is admirable and I am sure most men respect you. Don’t let your opinion of men be spoilt because of a few bad apples.Recommend

ALI

@Curious:
This is the problem with us. Just as NOT all are reported in Pakistan so NOT all are reported in USA as well.

“Fact #4: The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.”

@the Author
Next time do some research before presenting anything. OR a much better option is to write about something which helps the society. Yellow Journalism has destroyed us enough.Recommend

ALI

The facts that we have about USA it looks as if “Americans Hate Women 10 times more than us Pakistanis.”

Fact #6: The National College Women Sexual Victimization Study estimated that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years (Fisher 2000).

Fact #8: Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)

Fact #9: One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. (Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1998)

Fact #14: According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, more than 260,000 rapes or sexual assaults occurred in 2000; 246,180 of them occurred among females and 14,770, among males (Department of Justice 2001).

I don’t know why we have such big stomachs that we are ready to take everything crap and accept it as a fact. Lack of common sense and logic could be one. Recommend

MANNO SALWA

chick flick article :P but the root cause is not the dress or sexy women itself .the problem lies in the weak law implementation , male dominating society and to top it all , the pornographic material easily accessible to males from internet , mobile etc , and lets face it . The nite cheap packages and late marriges all these things are adding misery to the situation.period.Recommend

Noor

Maybe the writer has a limited circle of friends & family where he has observed 80% abuse rate.

I’ve travelled across to every part of country and have extended family relations with people from all backgrounds, let them be from very rich or very poor background, ultra modern or conservative, posh living or humble area, what I’ve seen is that the women are just their for LOVE n RESPECT. If I be honest, I can’t accept abuse rate more than 10%.

What I’ve observed is that women are respected & taken care of more than men, right from their childhood. after getting married, both in-laws & parental family take care of them more than the man, even if he’s not at fault.

This is also a valid point, “That police office of Toronto was very correct. Plz don’t dress like a slut if you have to avoid sexual abuse. And that police officer was not a Pakistani nor a Muslim. Its just common sense which Pakistanis fail to understand. They put so much pressure on that guy that he had to apologize”.

10% cases should not become basis of defamation of our society..Recommend

rubail

These are conducted by taking case samples which are thought to be representative of the entire population.

In this study, PIMS researchers interviewed a specially selected group of women in their maternity unit, and found out that 80% of them were victims of psychological and physical abuse.

SO YOU are passing decree on an entire nation based on a small sample of what size?
Remember the population is 180,000,000 and what was your sample size again :P goodness me some people will fo to any length to bash their country self-hating westernised souls i Pity uRecommend

H_612

I can NOT believe that most of the comments above think that if RAPED, WOMAN IS EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE! This itself shows how much Pakistanis can NOT tolerate any comment pro women! AND to all above, when Quran tells the men to lower gaze, it does not say, if shes fully covered you lower your gaze, it says WHATEVER !!! JUST LOWER YOUR GAZE MEN! Only because a girl is wearing sleeveless shirt, MEN FROM PAKISTAN think shes given away her license to be respected by the society!!? Men in Pakistan know women as MOTHER OR SISTER, nothing independent. LISTEN! The other gender WHETHER OR NOT A MOTHER OR a SISTER, HAS TO BE respected! Just like an accepted citizen! Period.Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

For heaven’s sake, the 80% figure for domestic abuse has not been invented by the author. It’s an actual figure stated by a credible study conducted by PIMS research team.

Google it out..do some research for yourself on the status of women in Pakistan, it probably won’t kill you. Until then, you’re simply giving credence to the author’s view of Pakistanis living in denial.Recommend

Almas Abbas

i am unsure about the statistics but i agree with him on the double standards of our society for women especially, We need not to see the females right in urban areas of Pakistan but also to check what is happening with the females in rural areas which is in majority?Recommend

Almas Abbas

@Naumann:
Dear Mr Noumann! how do you relate this article with Aga Khan agency, i think you mean to say Aga Khan Development Network.

I am happy to be born as a muslim man in Pakistan than to be a woman. My life would have been totally different if I was born a woman in a village in Sindh or Pukhtunkhawah or in any family in any city where the men would curb my rights. As a man I have freedom being born anywhere in Pakistan………… Recommend

BM

Abuse (either physical or verbal) is NEVER the fault of the victim. I am surprised to see opinions to the contrary. In my limited interaction with women, I have found that almost everyone of them has been molested at least once in their life. This is a sad fact of life. It really doesn’t matter how much or less it happens in other countries. We need to fix this problem here.Recommend

Shazia Nawaz

Even most women who suffer the double standards accept it as a good and normal thing. When a man is praised for having an affair and woman is killed for it, something is really and truly wrong with that society. But I thought this is the way it was supposed to be until I came and lived here in USA. Where either both are wrong or both are right.
Also, so well said that society blames the victim for the rape. And our society also takes women’s freedom away instead of controlling it’s men. Our way of controlling our men is caging our women. Thank you Faraz Talat.Recommend

aisha

Guyzz!!! the world is talking about mutation, mars, diabolic events, apocalyptic prophecies and here we are discussing the same old story of women emancipation. I am getting tired of reading stuff like this and watching movies made on social issues faced by women. Please its very simple, we are living in capitalism and everything is run by money there are no men or women, shia’s or sunnis, its just strong and weak. I came across this music video Babu Rao by Zuj, the guy who sung the OST for Ziba Khana Pakistan;s first horror movie. and I was impressed to read the philosophy and concept given by him in the song/video. I didnt know how to put up a blog on express so i am just cut pasting it over here.
Babu Rao: – This song is about stretching our imaginations to the next level. Envisioning the time of Armageddon and speculating that immorality and greed is going to become the only principle of human kind. Babu Rao is about the last man and woman left on planet earth.

This video depicts the pinnacle of immorality fulfilling apocalyptic prophecies from the sages of all times. Adam and Eve started the human race but the last man and woman standing would not serve as the revivers of human race.

Babu Rao is a discreet concept explained by using contemporary lyrics and choosing punk genre, which makes it even more interesting.
See the youth of Pakistan thinks differently now they dont associate immorality with men only anymore.

Great article but it’s unfortunate to see some of the sense-less comments….The inability to accept the truth has taken us into this hell-hole of a situation….The defensive comments are proof of the fact that we have a long long way to go…..PAKISTANI society is highly misogynistic people, accept it!!Recommend

Rubail,
That’s how ALL such scientific studies in the world are conducted. By taking study samples. These studies are carried out by people a lot smarter than your or me, so you can breathe a bit easier and know that they’re accurate.
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If you don’t like the study, feel free to conduct your own. In the meantime, this is the latest and most credible study we have on the matter and you just have to accept it as true.Recommend

Malik

I would not go as far as declaring Pakistan as a country hating women because it is us who still value our mothers and sisters more than the west but yes sadly along with all the other issues facing Pakistan, subjugation of women is one of the biggest problems to be addressed and the root cause is illiteracy and absence of justice. Our deen lays such beautiful commandments regarding this problem, i.e. pardah and modesty for men and women BOTH and a firm unbiased Islamic Shariah Law Court system. Unfortunately the people in our rural areas misinterpret our religion and use it as a negative medium leading to the bad reputation of Islam.
‘Our society, in lieu of teaching its men not to rape, focuses on telling women not to get raped. The onus is upon the woman to make sure she doesn’t fall prey to men’s lust by restricting her own freedom of movement and dressing like a nun‘
I agree with you on this point but I would never call the modest code of dressing in our religion dressing like a nun, rather it is a preventive measure for women to not be disgraced.
Instead of bringing the victims under the spotlight and embarrassing them even more we should focus in bringing out the guilty men and punishing them extremely brutally in accordance with the Islamic Law to set an example for the masses but it’ll take some time to eradicate the jaageerdari system which greatly prevails and is one of the main obstacles in providing these women justice.Recommend

Sidra Khan

@Arslan:

As for the figures, if one woman is being subject to violence in a household usually all of the women are being subject to the same violence cos its the way the people of that household behave, for those households not 4/5 but 5/5 are being subject to violence. The figure as an average become 4/5 cos there are a little percentage of families where women are not subject to violence. Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

Malik,
According to sharia, a woman’s testimony is considered worth half that of a man. That hardly fits well with feminism.

We need to devise a system better suited to the needs of the 21st century.Recommend

Mayaa

Women are abused all over the world regardless of geographic location. In a recent survey in UK men voted in the favor of slapping woman. More then half of the cases of domestic or even sexual violence are not reported in UK.
Shockingly half of reported cases are then dropped at will by the victims( females) and these demographics are generic for females from all cultural backgrounds. Victims prefer to go back to the same partner who assaulted them.

I feel that the writer has been aggressive in the blog and has a very narrow approach towards life.

Someone commented that most of the rape cases are in rural locations.. I totally disagree. Urban women are equally vulnerable and suffer.Recommend

Mayaa,
If you’re suggesting that the condition of women in UK is just as bad as those in Pakistan, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

In fact, you may be displaying the same kind of denial that the author predicted.Recommend

http://www.myoffstreet.com/Lahore/SIMPLIFY/Products sana

@Hussam:
Look at the statistics
% age of women abused vs % of women who wear revealing clothes.

Plus there really is no justification for negative attitudes towards women.
I wear a duppatta over my head and I still get glares and startes – while driving, while working while shopping..

The other day I discussed per hour teaching rates ( I teach in a university mashaAllah) and the admin guy asked me what I was going to do with that money!( itnay paisey aapney kia karney hain?)

Men in Pakistan think that women are just working for passing time till they are married and they should just stay locked up producing children!Recommend

Karim Alam

The figures need further segmentation as its amounts to a narrow view pointRecommend

Hussam

@sana, I wasn’t disputing the differences in percentages. Just the mindset of the SEC A class girls.

As far as your last sentence is concered, unfortunately that’s what most women are doing! There are so many women who do their MBA and then are happy to sit at home. I believe that if a woman has got higher education, she should work! It keeps the mind active and there’s there are so many different sorts of jobs that allow a woman to make time for her family as well. It is women who need to show their male bosses they can be efficient and reliable workers with balance in their life when it comes to their family and work.Recommend

Sidra Khan

@Mayaa:

why is everyone discussing uk and the USA. for once can we focus on Pakistan and accept the problems we have here? who cares whats happens in the west??? try to fix your own problems first. every time there is a discussion where we try to bring up the problems in Pakistan, people start saying yes but the US has a higher rate, yes the Britain has the same problems too!!! just cos UK and Britain has problems does not solve or justify the acts of violence in our country. wake up people and stop fighting the reality. what you really need to fight for is women’s rights and their freedom. WE WANT FREEDOM!!!Recommend

Waqas

Well, They is no excuse or reason of any kind of Brutality including RAPE. I Guess its becoming our psyche somehow that we try to find justifications of Horrific crimes around, especially if the person holds higher ranks in society. Whether its an institution or Individual.Recommend

Ahmed

Yes USA and UK and Europe all haha and hoho… USA is not the gold standard of living we must all achieve neither its the most sophisticated society in the galaxy that we should compare ourselves to them and follow! We have our ow social and moral code to uphold and as ironic as it sounds…given the fact we are surviving on US aid money…we need to stop comparing ourselves. Their wrong doesnt make our wrong better…is it?
Men here thinks that given the role of bread winners of society they are somehow superior..last time i checked my religion…respect flows both ways…. just being a husband doesnt make you superior…and yes! the treatment of women is not because of religion..lets put it that aside. it is due to our social retardedness that women are inferior and should be shut away from the world.
and 80% violence doesnt mean all are getting raped or beaten..it has various forms as someone above said so.Recommend

Maheen Usmani

In Pakistan the sad reality is that a woman is judged from the cradle to the grave. Her business seems to be everybody’s business. Hijab, veil, burqa, chadar, trousers, capris, skirts, shalwar kameez, sari.. it makes no difference what you wear. The problem is the mindset — not the dress or physical appearance.
Our warped concepts of “ghairat” and “honour” are always focused on the woman, and the worst forms of vengeance are revenge are wreaked on her. Look at the daily news, surveys, research studies, reports.. the stats will tell you the same thing that the writer is saying. Sure, it’s unpalatable and horrible to hear the truth, but we do treat our women like dirt. It’s an ingrained attitude and it’s reinforced by the enforced silence, and the resigned and tired acceptance of women to this oppression. If a woman speaks out, every effort is made to snuff out her protest, and make her conform.
For every disease, there has to be a diagnosis first, and then treatment. Let’s accept that we treat our women abysmally, and there is a dire need to educate people about learning to respect women. Recommend

Iliyas Khan

The problem that Pakistan faces is the same problem that many so called backward places face. In Pakistan we cannot tolerate self criticism. As Ahmed rightly said, the US is not the gold standard that we should hold ourselves up to, but in the west particularly continental Europe they have got one thing very right, one thing that we, and the US too should all aspire to. They constantly self criticise, there is open and free debate about societies problems and they try to better themselves from it. In Pakistan the moment people start talking about our problems , which there are many, people become defensive and aggressive and start changing the subject talking about the US or UK or anything other than facing the reality. This is the same for many countries. Why do you think that the West publishes its rape statistics and we dont? Beacuse they accept the problem and are trying to deal with it. In Pakistan we ignore the fact that our women are some of the most oppressed women in the world especially outside of Karachi Islamabad and Lahore. We cant accept the fact that our society is rotten and that we institutionally oppress our women under the guise of protecting them.
The only way Pakistan is ever going to progress from the dark ages it to accept responsibility for its problems and deal with them in an open and honest way. Unfortunately our society does not value open honesty instead we value the Purdah behind which we hide all our ugly problems and so we will never grow up as a nation and start treating our women (or minorities) with respect and dignity.
Anyone that thinks that Pakistanis treat women well is living a fantasy. Either you are a rich Punjabi / Sindhi socialite or you are in denial. And remember this Pakistan dis-respect of women is not just confined to Pakistan. Pakistani communities in the UK are considered some of the most abusive towards women and recently the ex-foreign minister Jack Straw pointed out the gangs of youths caught raping white women in the north of England were over 90% made up of Pakistanis and British nationals of Pakistani descent.
Allah ka shukar hai ki main mard hoon
GROW UP PAKISTAN AND ACT LIKE A MATURE CIVILISED COUNTRY OR ELSE REMAIN IN THE DARK AGES.Recommend

http://raup-kj.blogspot.com/ The Man @ The Temple

The reality remains thus that 4/5 women are abused either by men or their husbands. And Yes rape within marriage can happen and it does happen. When a Woman says no it MEANS NO!. and from what I see in this comments section is deplorable insecurity of males who really don’t know how to go about keeping their testosterone levels within their pants. No I am sorry to say a woman can dress up how she chooses the onus lies on us as men (as responsible individuals) to look the other way and not get high about it. Recommend

Pakistani

@BP:
Pakistan Does not hate Men or Women. It’s gives you place to live, the system you establish to live here hates you and whole humanity, Pakistan is made for peace but enemies are working against it to make it failed state, be honest to your Pakistan.Recommend

http://islamabadobserver.blogspot.com Frahana

Just a BAKWAS article, If u r western educated than u would surely find it a worst country for females because it dont allows naked men and women to dance on public roads.Recommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

Frahana,
That comment made absolutely no sense. I highly doubt if you’ve even read the article, because I don’t see where “men and women dancing naked in public” is being advocated in it.Recommend

Pakistani

@Writer: # Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S.A is sexually assaulted.
# Sexual assault is one of the most under reported crimes, with 60% still being left unreported.
# Children : 15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12 (7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused * 3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.)

#93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker.

* 34.2% of attackers were family members.
* 58.7% were acquaintances.
* Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim
[Ref: U.S. Department of Justice, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, ETC.]

In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.1 That’s an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner

NOT ONLY CIVILIANS BUT ALSO IN ARMY There are 200,000 female soldiers in the US military on active duty. One in three of them is suffering from sexual abuse and very few (8%) of the offenders have been put on trial.

According to your criteria UNITED STATES OF AMERICA HATES WOMEN, MEN, CHILDREN, & ARMY. I am not anti-American, I don’t know your attentions but your article is not good at all, you used something to d-grade Pakistan which is not okay. This is the failure of system that is why Women are suffering. Democracy seems very good, but every nation fooled in the name of democracy. Beside of all Islamic republic of Pakistan made to run under the system of Islam( not the democracy or any system) because of our mistakes Politicians, few so called Mullas put us to this conditions. Things need to be cleaned, Pakistan Loves us, We love Pakistan, and remember only Model of Khilafah can solve all social, economic, and political Problems of Pakistan.Recommend

Pakistani,
We’ve already discussed that. In USA, there’s much greater TRANSPARENCY when it comes to sexual abuse. In Pakistan, such victims and their families are very secretive about it because of the negative social impact. Also, rape victims generally avoid taking the matter to the court because if they lose the case, they themselves may end up getting punished according to our ancient zina laws.
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Also, why the heck does it matter to you so much what USA does? Can’t you, for one darn second, concentrate on your own country’s problems? Or are you saying it’s okay for us to treat our women like dirt just because USA is doing the same?Recommend

Copying and pasting from a document of U.S. Department of Justice does not solve the problem of domestic violence and rapes in Pakistan. At least the US is brave enough to accept and publish the statistics good or bad. Can you find me such detailed statistics issue by the Pakistani Department of Justice and if you re lucky to find anything how much of it do you think will be based on truth?
No one in Pakistan conducts such detailed researches because they don’t want to bring the truth out. Cos the truth will embarrass the men of our nation who are and have always been in power. Please for once take the first step and accept we have got serious social problems. After acceptance will come the step of fixing them.
You must be joking when you talk about khilafat. We don’t need anymore religious fundamentalism than we already have in this country. We need more liberal people with minds open to change and freedom of thought.Recommend

Sidra Khan

@Pakistani:

Excuses, excuses, excuses…… For how long are you going to be in denial??? Stop lying to yourself and others too…. Accept that women have been a victim of violence since centuries in Pakistan and they still are… Stop hiding behind the American shield… WE WANT FEEDOM AND RESPECT and WE WILL GET IT… we have had our fair share of violence…. you cant hold the voices anymore.Recommend

Leila Rage

Despite all the ridiculously biased comments, it is TRULY a delight to see that notall Pakistani men are creeps. Thank you for this blog Mr.Talat. Recommend

I am unknown

@Word Life:
It is very interest fact and analysis.wonder where the stats came from any validation?
and if even it is true out of 36% educated that stats are not bad….provided that most population of that is subject rural abuse and jirga system and not to forget corruption taking example of a big city such as Faisalabad. Recommend

I am unknown

@ALI:
HAHAH their problem is to sell the paper….. and get hitsRecommend

http://lonepkliberal.wordpress.com Loneliberal PK

How extraordinary that after the writer makes his case about how “Pakistan hates women”, a guy named “Pakistani” comes in and displays exactly the kind of denial the author warned about.
Oh, the irony!Recommend

Salman Arshad

I am going to harass women and tell them I love my mother and sister “more than they do in the West”.
I’ll see if she can come up with “fake” statistics then.Recommend

Arslan

@Leila Rage:
Yes, the majority are creeps. I guess that’s how our beaten up Pakistani mothers educated us ?

It is usually extended fear of things that turns surfaces itself as hatred. It is found to be genetically transmittible; common example, such as we hate snakes, lizards or rats. Hatred for women is also generated (if any) out of same reasons. We fear them not because they are fearful but because of lack of trust and personal inadequacies as well as because of the stereotypes in the socio-cultural environment.

I happened to work with human rights victims including rape victims and NGOs related to them over 3 yrs. The most commonly, rape in our society is perpetuated by the closest relatives and people having access to the victim that includes fathers’ uncles’ cousins and other relatives like brothers-in-law followed by the neighbours and teachers. Now imagine it being reported!! Same is the case with domestic abuse/ violence; it is inflicted by the very people who are supposed to be the champions. So where would the victim go to for redress? Over the time distorted religious precepts also contribute to wards it along with economic dependency. So much so that even majority of females uphold the very notions of this bias and if talked about their rights they fail to acknowledge them! Only way they see themselves is being in some sort of extension to man (sister, mother, wife or daughter) having a concept of independent and self-sustaining individual entity is really foreign to them. Recommend

indian guy

@ Ali, comment #2.

worst comment i ever read. ever. >>> For Women: If you dress nude and expect men not to gaze at you then wake up before its too late.

u are implying that all the pakistani women getting raped everyday are walking around nude? U have serious issues regarding women. I can assure you women whon pose nude never got raped. Holds good even in India and Pakistan. A indian film actresses famously jogged nude on Juhu beach in the 70s. She was never touched by anybody. (Same applies to any pakistani women who may do that-hpothetically). A women goes nude when she is 100% sure she is safe and sound. Women also get reped when the trust they keep in fellow beings (like co-workers and close relatives and neighbours) is breached. Usually women are not responsible at all. Our world has made too many restrictions on women. So in pakistani/islam case burqa has made women look like a commodity, rather than fellow human. So men take no remorse in raping them. For them women are inferior.

And your clim that there are 10 times more rape cases in US is pure BS.Recommend

Murad

@Word Life:
Well said Man. I fail to understand from where do these drawing room bloggers find their twisted and overblown stupid facts. Domestic abuse is Bad and should be condemned but a figure of 80% ====Come on Give me a break. Get your stats right.Recommend

Murad

@LoneLiberal PK:
I am not sure where you are based. But the conditions in UK are equally bad if not worse for the Women. Atleast in Pakistan, they are not used as a Sex machine and then dumped off after a one night stand as a is a common Practice here in the West.

Raising voice for the Women is one thing and over blowing and twisting the the facts ia another thing. This country has produced marvelous women in Medicine, Politics, Media, Fashion, science , Education. Such idiotic articles which actually support the concept of slut walks are a disgrace to the achievements of these Great women.

I am sorry if 80% of the women in your family were subjected to domestic abuse, but Please do not Generalize these figures to my CountryRecommend

Asma

Bluntness is one thing but blindly generalizing facts just to prove ur point is a major let down. i agree with your point of our society’s biased behavior and accusing and jumping on women for any kind of crime that happens against them but that doesnot and shouldnot justify the so-called “Slut-Walk”. If u r an aware pakistani then u wud know that now adays even shy dupatta-clad and for that matter burqa-clad women get out to study and work not just stay at home making rotis. if slut walking makes it easy for women to stop assaults/ crimes against them then i think we should go for it ignoring not only our social values but also the fact that our religion imposes modest dressing for women n men both. And as u said most of the cases are rural then i doubt any woman in a village or small town and even in big cities like karachi stepping out of her house in so much revealing clothes that they end up being raped. As for domstic voilence i guess in homes seldom a woman wearing “sleevless” becomes a cause of beating/ burning etc. so keep ur focus straight… write and fight about the real thing i.e, crime against women and its my request to not only u but to other writers and women right activists to not to de-value their causes by ending their discussions on women wearing or not wearing a dupatta/burqa or whatever because a woman’s freedom is not solely in her dressing. please open up ur minds and think beyond.Recommend

SUH

Faraz
Your parents must be so proud of their son writting articles such as these….
Keep up the good worksRecommend