As Only She Can

This is one of the reasons that I love her so much. The fact that she unabashedly shows her emotions. Stuff matters to her. There are times when this makes for bumpy rides. But I’ll take highs and lows over in-between all day long.

I say that now that a recent low has subsided. Still, I think I really mean it.

Today my daughter was part of a team that competed in a Destination Imagination competition. For those unfamiliar with this term, it is very similar to Odyssey of the Mind. She and her team had been practicing for months. Last night she was nervous. This morning she was extremely nervous.

But when it came time to perform, she was amazing. I wouldn’t have had a clue that she was nervous. She used expression, showed poise and above all else, was confident.

Yet, when the top three teams were announced, hers’ was not among them. The teams were seated on the gymnasium floor, while the rest of us sat in the bleachers. And while we were quite a distance away, we could tell that she was devastated. As we walked to the car few words were spoken.

I was just glad I was able to be there with her during this difficult moment. I explained to her how I never took losing well either. I shared stories from my younger days of when I became angry after losing. I even told her how professional athletes become very upset when they lose. This didn’t seem to make her feel any better.

But then I began to think about how we as a society expect people to handle their emotions. And I wonder. Have we created a society in which it’s not acceptable to display them? But we crave entertainment in which heightened emotionality is the norm. Consuming it in large quantities on a daily basis. From the movies we watch to the video games children play to the news that is broadcasted into our homes each night.

We are not robots!

We have emotions!

But what about at school?

Upset children get teased. Instead of being nurtured by their classmates, they are often made to feel like outcasts. So they keep their emotions pent up. Only to have them boil over when they can contain them no longer. What if classrooms became safe places where students that felt sad were immediately comforted? Not just by the adult in the room, but by the students as well.

Can you imagine how safe a child would feel in that room? I have seen classrooms like this and they are beautiful. We need to make them more the norm than the exception. And we can. But it takes work and a whole lot of trust.

Furthermore, we need to do the same for our staff. I feel fortunate to work in a building that does just that. We laugh together. We cry together. And sometimes we laugh so hard that we laugh and cry together.

We must always remain professional. But being professional does not mean withholding our emotions.

Our students need to see us laugh when we are happy. They need to see us dance when we feel the need to do so. And when we are sad, it is okay to let them know. Albeit, in an appropriate manner. But who better to help lift us up than the people with whom we spend the majority of our waking hours?

Five minutes after we pulled away from the school, my daughter began to cheer up. Not because of something I had said and not because she had forgotten about the competition. She began to cheer up because my four-year old son was singing a goofy song, as only he can, and it was time for another emotion.

Happiness.

And she smiled as only she can.

Are you a princess? I said & she said I’m much more than a princess, but you don’t have a name for it yet here on earth.

Speaking Appearances

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Podcast Appearances

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“I absolutely loved Jon visiting our campus. He worked incredibly well with our students and staff and really shared great personal stories that connected with all. Days after Jon leaving, our students were still talking about the lessons they learned. Jon is a dynamic speaker who moves people. I would recommend him coming into any campus!”

Todd Nesloney, Principal Webb Elementary

“With a strikingly open and authentic perspective, Jon Harper takes the ordinary events of working in education and makes them extraordinary. He creates a reflective atmosphere which challenges full-time working graduate students to step back and find the silver lining in their own classroom mistakes. Harper’s approach on addressing personal mistakes is genuinely designed to work for educators at all levels in their career to make them a more meaningful educator.”

Brian Cook, Salisbury University

“Jon Harper, host of My Bad, spoke with our new teachers the other night. It was a roller coaster ride of emotion—we laughed, we cried, but most of all we thought about the students we work with everyday. His focus on being authentic and allowing our students to learn from their mistakes, as opportunities to grow, was exactly what our educators needed. Jon’s work is one of the best workshops I have participated in during my 23-year career.”

James P. Redman, Talbot County Curriculum Supervisor & former principal

“Jon Harper excels at getting to the heart of issues that impact us as professionals. The power of Jon’s presentation lies in his ability to expose his inner self to his audience to model the fact that showing our vulnerability can propel us forward rather than backward. He is genuine and purposeful in his thoughts, words, and actions and all audiences could benefit from hearing Jon speak.”