Thanks Wendy for all the valuable info. Im cutting and pasting here, but some of the things he does are:

Adam has always had these little quirks. Like I said I just thought they were part of who he was, but now thats its been pointed out to me, every single "quirk" is a complusive behaviour! He does things like: draws the same thing in his journal every day. At the art table, always chooses the same color paper (blue) and makes the SAME project. On the playground, uses the same blue block to pretend "camera," but always plays by himself. At library time, he choose the same book (blue cover) every day. At home, his toys have to be in a specific order. If you move them, he will put them right back ASAP. He will notice even if he didnt actually SEE you move them. He takes the same two toys to bed with him every night unless I force a different choice. He has listened to the same CD for bed every night for at least 3 years. He will not let you leave the house (not even to go out front to put the garbage out, etc) without giving you a kiss. If you dont, he loses his mind, and requires quite some time to "recover" from it. He is extremely possesive of toys (I assume because it disrupts his sense of order.)

Unfortunately, hes aged out of early intervention. Thats how we orginally got the speech and social dx. We had therapists coming to the home twice a week, he went to a special ed class for 8 mos, then we were told he no longer needed services (and at the time I agreed!) I feel good about going privately for now, and if we end up needing the school system again, its nice to know its there.

ETA: I have made an appt with our very trusted and always willing to work with us Ped for tomorrow night. I am hopeful he will be able to provide some references/referrals to someone he thinks would be a good match for our family.