Bikini body “ready” or not…here I come!

This has lead to some serious soul searching/questioning and super awkward conversations.

A quick attempt at googling the answer to what is a bikini body it started off predictably bumpy. Right off the bat, I was being prepared to make sure I was “ready” to wear a bikini and conveniently presented with links that spoke directly to me.

Darn you google data a hitting right there with the “mommy” sh*t!

I’ll spare you the images because you can imagine the chiseled abs and transformation photos that followed every single one of those links. What I will share are the other Keywords also associated with this search.

::::sigh:::: bad? really?

So here we are. Every single piece of information is telling me that I am not prepared to wear a bikini. I can’t wear one because I do not have a bikini body by any of these definitions. Not only am I not “ready” but I’m apparently supposed to feel really “bad” about that.

Then explain this:

But I was told this wasn’t possible if I wasn’t “ready” for it…

So the question the rebellious me likes to ask is:

“Or else what?”

The fear of not being ready is deeeeeeeply rooted in our rationale when we say we can’t possibly wear one BUT what is it that happens if we do? We say it so instinctively and with deep resolve BUT WHY?

It’s hinted in some ads that we’ll be “embarrassed” but otherwise the consequences are largely shrouded in mystery. That’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Our imaginations are always able to create something much more frightening. Without limits, our brains will take us down some deep dark paths. It’s a genius marketing move.

Make them afraid but never really explain what they are supposed to be afraid of.

If you don’t know how to identify what you’re afraid of then you can’t possibly understand how to defeat it.

So my sister and I absolutely went for it during our family vacation and did our own little photoshoot. No permission from anyone. In a public place with spectators and we had a blast!

Oh yes. Yes we did.

No violations/tickets/fines were issued.

Seriously though this water was freezing. Lol. I didn’t have the heart to get back in again.

So here we are at a crossroads. If I was told that I couldn’t but I did then what does that mean? If the day still moved on and memories were made and fun was had then what did I miss out on by not being “ready”?

I have to constantly weigh the memories and joys that I want for my life against the expectations set for me. So I set the fear I have and the things I want for myself and my family on a scale. It makes it much easier to decide which one deserves my time and energy. It’s so clear which will be strengthening my self-worth and helping to cross off the items on my bucket list.

If I was told that I couldn’t but I did then what does that mean? If the day still moved on and memories were made and fun was had then what exactly did I miss out on by not being “ready”?

Now that I know, I can’t unknow. The freedom from that fear has opened my heart and eyes to the many many other fears that had been controlling my life. This conversation isn’t about putting on a bikini. It never was and never will be. This is about regaining control of our self-love by re-discovering self-worth.

This the way I have chosen to tackle my fears and then share my experiences with others. We’re all going to do this in different ways and that’s 100% ok. The fears we have rooted inside of us have been planted in a variety of ways and will require a variety of ways to dig out. You’re worth every effort.

Just know that YOU are not exempt from self-love or happiness just because it seems like everyone else has it together. YOU are enough. YOU matter. YOUR memories matter. Right at this very moment.

xoxo.

Ana

EXCITING NEWS:

I have experienced an incredible amount of joy and growth from this project and it just keeps reaching more and more people. I need to sit down and write about my experience as a panelist for the Hot & Healthy Habits retreat I was a part of in Nashville, TN last month. It was incredible and life affirming. On my to-do list.