Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

January 30, 2007

SUPER BOWL MEDIA DAY: A CRAPCAM&trade PERSPECTIVE

I'll have a column tomorrow providing a detailed report on Super Bowl Media Day. But here are some CrapCam&trade photos I took today.

I drove up to the stadium with my sportswriterette wife, Michelle, and we expected it would take forever on Interstate 95, but we got behind the Chicago Bears buses, which were being escorted by motorcycle police, so we zipped on up there. Michelle took this exclusive photo out the window:Inside the stadium we could interview the players. I generally do not do this, because they scare me. This is as close as I wanted to get to Brian Urlacher.

By federal law, whenever you get large numbers of sports media persons together, you have to have food.

Dave, good thing you didn't get any closer to Urlacher than that. Had you been closer, he would have sensed your fear, then ripped you arm out the socket and beaten you senseless with the bloody stump. That's just the kind of guy he is.

Totally off topic, but I just got an email from a guy in Ghana offering to give me 20% of 25 million. I'm not interested in that, who needs money? What I am interested in is his request that I "please forgive me for my idignation". Should I forgive him?

I like media day. They have these cute little booths that huge guys sit in, one in each, like at the zoo. But I always feel sorry for the guy sitting there with nobody around him, like he's the really lame sloth exhibit.

Dave, i don't know where Urlacher hails from (i could easily find out but i'm lazy and way too busy drinking beer) but he has all the qualities of a segment of the Chicago boys i went to college with we called the "WEO Boys" real Chicago (sha COH go) guys. guys who would chew the hood ornament off a Mercedes just 'cause it resembled a "peace symbol"

the "WEO" stood for "Where Economy Originates" the slogan of a Chicagoland supermarket of the early 70s, and was taken as sort of a battlecry by, as some others called them, the "dese dem and doze guys." guys who loved to fight and had no need for weapons, hey had fists, and feet, and, in a pinch, (some) teeth.

how the hell these guys ever ended up in a private college in Dubuque Iowa was beyond me, except that it was a Catholic school and well, their dads must have been "conected"

Why is journalist food always a make-your-own-sandwich bar, muffins in flavors people don't like (rubber cement/bran, anyone?) and lukewarm pasta salad? And yet we devour it like it's haute cuisine. Probably because we are poor. And by poor, I mean that I usually eat lint. Mmm, lint.

Look carefully at the first picture - to take it, Michelle had to lean out the passenger window and aim a shiny object (camera or gun?) at a couple of highway patrolpersons.....is that cop roulette or what?

Annie...congrats to the little guy. Same thing happened to me in 4th grade in a state capital bee. I got hosed by a judge who trusted his own memory instead of the cheat sheet with the correct answers in front of him. The kid who beat me broke his leg the next day. Near as I can remember that was my very first SNORK.

Annie - Sorry to hear about your son. Glad to hear that you are sticking up for him and helping him move on after this little battle was lost. Very unfair, but The Fair is where we ride rides and eat cotton candy. Reality is not fair.

A very wise woman told me recently that I was empowering my children by being involved. Kudos to you. Your boys will take 1st and 2nd place next year.

Jazzzz, to make thing's more interesting, I'm not. Just a great day, today and Thursday became more compressed. Now, Thursday, I get to do that and a dog and pony show. The good news is that I don't have to face Brian Urlacher.

I've always wondered why they always put dogs and ponies in a show together. Why not say, rats and alpacas....or parrots and weasels, or snakes and politicians??? I get tired of watching dogs and ponies, ponies and dogs, gheeeeesh!

The dogs are for security and the ponies are for pulling the tent-poles up. I just wanted to say something before I go into Wednesday mode.

This blog is haunted by writers and if I'm indoors, I have to write many hours a day. I watched an amazing program tonight and I think those writers knocked it out of the park. My congratulations to the writers for House. If there are other television programs that good, I don't want to know about them. I have books to read!

Another Dave column?! Can this be? Is Dave coming out of "retirement'? Does this mean he'll be rejoining the media spotlight? Will he be wearing underpants while making the social appearances? (Good lord we can only hope so.) Someone alert the pundits. And Tom Tancredo!

Slightly confused, here.... (which is an improvement in itself, usually I'm really confused)
I thought the votes were in, the recount done, all hanging/swinging/pregnant chads (personally, I think the swinging chads are responsible for the pregnant chads, but I digress) were accounted for, and the decision was made... for an underwear-optional blog, social appearances or not. *sigh*

It's Superbowl. In Miani. An irresistable temptation of the magnitude of say an exploding whale right in the neighbor's backyard, where it can be seen but you, personally don't have to clean up the mess.

waffles sounds yummy. OK, we have waffles, I only have the Belgian-type iron. To go on top we have syrup, cinnamon honey, fresh sliced fruit, and whipped cream. Sorry, it's the can kind, but real. Alongside, we have the ever-popular bacon, spam for Hammie, and for those of us from the Philly area, scrapple, the Habbersett's&trade kind.

NT, you've hit on my weakness. Heaven! And we aren't even going to consider ex... the e-word later to burn it off. This is blog breakfast and everything is full-fat and full-flavor with no calories. So dig in.

Good morning ladies!! I brought some spinach quiche for the veggie portion of our breakfast. I'll have one of each (except the Spam™). Hazelnut cocoa for me, thanks! It's nippy here in Miami. And the weather's cool too!

Mornin' all, just got back from seeing clients in a gold mining area called Springs (go figure). It used to be a city in it's own right but has been gobbled up by Johannesburg's urban sprawl. mmmm "Urban Sprawl" WBAGNFARB.

I see nothing's changed on this blog, everyone's still waffling. NT yesterday I promised to try to refrain from proposing, but it's nice to get your official sanction nevertheless.

Anyway I'll have mine with syrup and cream, oh, and a large latte would not be frowned upon.