AppetizerWhat is the last thing you had to have repaired?Two things in the last two weeks. I’m the original “Gimme one more second” girl so when a storm hit a couple of weeks ago… I thought to myself, “Just one more second and I’ll disconnect. I want to save this document first.” I never got my one more second. The power blacked out and, Once Again (for the third time now), my modem got zapped. So I had to contact Dell (thank dog for online support chat!) and have a new modem sent out. Mr. Clean has since installed the new one and I’m back in business.

The second repair, I had to do myself. Last Friday, Doodlebug was being helpful and vacuuming the living room to prepare for an overnight visit from my mother. After a few moments, he sheepishly approached me and said there was a HOLE in my vacuum cleaner (which I bought maybe 3 weeks ago).

Me: A hole?Doodle: Uh huh.Me: How’d a HOLE get in my vacuum cleaner?Doodle: I dunno. Me (in disbelief): A hole.Doodle: And there’s something sticking out of it too.

And indeed, there was a hole in my vacuum cleaner. My mother and Mr. Clean arrived just in time to see me with a screwdriver in hand, pieces of vacuum cleaner lying around me, and Doodlebug watching closely (probably so he could repeat the process at a later date – when I’m not armed to handle that sort of thing in a manner befitting a Mom who has her sh*t together) as I extracted things which should not be in a vacuum cleaner. The culprit? An ENTIRE pencil wedged in the hose, the leaded end poking out of the hole it had made. This is what happens when TEENAGERS attempt something so complicated as vacuuming. (Yes, it turns out Shaggy vacuumed his room, without picking the big stuff up from the floor first. Again. Apparently he didn’t learn from the other two vacuum cleaners he destroyed this way.)

SoupIf someone gave you $2,000 with the stipulation that you had to spend half of it on yourself and give the rest to charity, where would you spend the $1,000 and which charity would receive your remaining $1,000?My first reaction to this was to say, “Woo hoo! $1,000 bucks to spend on ME!” And then I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with it. Typical. After much thought, I came up with two scenarios:

Scenario 1: Spend the 1k on a weekend in Scotland. A much deserved weekend. Alone. Maybe Inverness. Or Skye.

Scenario 2: Spend the 1k on a shopping weekend with Wahoo. A new outfit or two, new shoes, two or three armloads of books, a visit to Linens and Things (kitchen stuff and yummy sheets), nice lunch, coffee, and a handful of new CDs.

Ohhh…. Or Scenario 3: A couple of weeks alone on the beach in a rented house!

Too many options! I can’t decide. The other 1k would be split between Special Olympics, St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital, and one of the Diabetes charities.

SaladWhat is one of your favorite songs from the 1980’s?This brought back some memories... I can mention the song but the story must remain uncharted territory - to protect the innocent, of course. Whitesnake’s “Slow and Easy”. Whenever I hear that song, I think back to a particular moment and get the biggest smile on my face. (I'm So blushing now!) The late 80’s were some naughty, naughty years. [grin] (I wonder how many of you will get that reference? Let me know.)

Main CourseYou enter a pet store. Which section do you go to first?Hmmm. Depends on why I’m there. No matter what the reason, I always end up at the parrots. I SO want a parrot! Desperately. An African Grey, or maybe a Hahn’s Macaw, or a Blue-Fronted Amazon. Yes, I’ve researched them. I’m like a kid who wants a pony – except I have a pony, so I want a parrot!

I tell Mr. Clean, monthly, how badly I want one. One who will eventually talk! To me! Even if he repeats some of the foul things that spew forth from my mouth at times. One who will squawk, “Shaggy! You’re in TROUBLE!” and sing the Doodlebug song. He’ll randomly croon, “I’m so cranky, I could die,” in a country singer voice. And undoubtedly, he’d be heard to say, “Oh dog, gimme some coffee. I need coffee. Where’s my coffee?” on occasion.

Mr. Clean says evil psycho Scha-Nazi cat would probably try to eat him. Unfortunately, he’s right. But dang, I want a parrot. Maybe I could teach him to say, “Buuutt-licker!” (in a low, evil voice) to the cat – so she'd leave him alone. We do that, often. I can’t stand the bubble-gum smacking sound of her chewing on her hind parts. It’s undoubtedly one of the grossest noises in the world. So we scowl and growl, “Buuutt-licker!” at her. It always works. She’ll give you a nasty look but then slinks off to chew her butt in private.

DessertOn a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, how athletic are you?Well, you won’t find me out on the weekends in a rousing game of softball (used to, but that was before I’d endured multiple ankle injuries. I’m too scared to do so now). However, with the time I spend helping the Doodlebug practice for baseball, horseback riding, volleyball in the pool, and working out… I’d say probably a 6.