Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

Month: July 2016

With the negativity that is flooding social media on a daily basis its time for a mindset change!

Aggression breads aggression, anger fuels anger and hate feeds hate, the only action that destroys all of these acts is love. You do not have to know someone to offer a respectful appreciation towards another human.

We are all living on the same planet; we all have families and loved ones. Extend love to one another not hate for what you may not understand. Just because someone is different doesn’t automatically make them wrong. Take a little time to get to know someone before casting out an entire race due to what you think you know.

I have met some amazingly nice Muslims and I have also met some terrible Christians. It’s a heart issue not a race, religion or belief system problem. Give in to the fact that you control nothing but your own actions and reactions and you are not always right.

“Man must evolve for all human conflict, a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love”. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

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It’s Monday, not feeling it, not in a bad mood just a blah mood. Not moving quickly, not wanting to work, no gym today, not feeling like eating. Just a blah day.

My friend says to me, “your worst day is far better than some of the people waiting in line with their children to get into the mission downtown”… This hit me hard.

It’s all about perspective.

it appears I need a good struggle to set my mind back on track or I can realign my thinking and appreciate what I do have. Food, a house, car, insurance and so much more. My problems are nothing compared to many others that have nothing.

Than you Viti, you set my mind back on track. I’m thankful for friends that can set me back on track!

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This Article was written by a very good friend of mine LCpl Andrew Sturgeon, USMC (ret.)

I personally value an opinion of someone that is willing to give the ultimate sacrifice and has experienced tremendous loss while doing so over those of us who simply talk about the change we want in our lives.

“If your actions were to boomerang back on you instantly, would you still act the same? Doing to others an act you’d rather not have done to you reveals a powerful internal conflict”. – Alexandra Katehakis

As most of you know, I’m a firearms enthusiast. Yes, I’m a “gun nut“. There are a few things that I want to get off my chest. Why are firearms enthusiasts so afraid of a change in laws? What I mean by this is; so many people I’ve talked to think it is an infringement on their rights for a federally mandated background check that is more extensive than the current one.

Why is that an issue?

I have absolutely no problem waiting a few more days to purchase my firearm if that means safety for innocent people. I have nothing to hide. Look at the Orlando shooter, he passed the current background check and legally bought the weapon used in that tragedy. I’m not saying that a more in depth background check is going to solve all this nations violent issues, but it’s a start. Now I understand the argument of “it’s just a gateway for them to take our guns” so let me ask you this; when was the last time an amendment was removed from the Bill of Rights? IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

Now that I have said that, the issue this nation has isn’t because of guns, it’s an issue of the mindset of America. Issues of racism (and yes anyone can be racist, it’s not just reserved for white people) issues with authority, issues with stereotyping. Not all cops use excessive force, not all minorities are thugs. I’m not saying that every police shooting is justified, that’s just ignorant. We don’t live in a Utopian society, as long as we have the freedom of thought; things like racism are going to exist.

Movements like Black Lives Matter started off with great intentions, they really did, but the things that are happening in the name of that movement are tearing this nation apart. The citizens of this country should all be treated equally, whether they are man, woman, black, white, straight, gay, Christian or Muslim.

That’s another thing I am sick a tired of, all these Christians (and yes I do consider myself a Christian) standing on their soap box trying to shove all this anti-Muslim propaganda down my throat. Yes, radical Muslims are an issue and need to be dealt with, but any radical is in issue and needs to be dealt with. Radical racists, radical feminists, heck radical Christians! What makes you Christians think that you even have the smallest right to sit there and say “deport all Muslims”? Are you that narrow minded that you forgot about the crusades? The actions of the few are tainting your perception of the many.

I’ve met many Muslims, and in my experience it is a religion of peace. There are parts of both religions that call for violence in certain situations and are often misinterpreted. So Christians, get down off your high horse and start paying attention to the bible, stop placing judgment and “love thy neighbor“.

I served my country for four years and I’ll be damned if this country gets torn from the inside out. AMERICA, GET YOU’RE SHIT TOGETHER. Stop thinking of only yourself, be selfless every once in a while. Smile at a stranger, take a picture for the gay couple, have an intelligent and civil discussion with someone of a different religion, and most importantly; GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND OPEN YOUR MIND!

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“The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is”. – Robert H. Schuller

This is what it will take to change the terrible events we see in our community today!

Fight the “sheep” mindset and admire our differences not curse them.

I pray for help, but it is the action we make in our lives that will save us not an empty prayer. Today is a new day, find something unlike what we have done every other day to accomplish. I would say we have following what everyone else does down pretty good.

Step out of your comfort zone and face the fear in the world head on, its hard to hate when love is the motive. It is ok to hate the action and love the person, use the aggression for the situation as motivation to push on together, division will only fuel the fire.

“The average estimate themselves by what they do, the above average by what they are”. – Charles Edwards

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I have spent the last 45 min browsing the Internet and YouTube and my heart is broken for what the world is today.
I have watched so many videos of men, specifically black men losing their lives by police shooting and killing them.

I can’t imagine what is going on in that moment in the minds of either. However from the outside looking in I see a huge problem with fear of the unknown. The mindset today for many people is a black man with a gun is a criminal and a white man with a gun is exercising his 2nd amendment. Well that argument fell flat as I watched a Black man with a concealed carry permit voice his warning of having a weapon on his person get murdered.
Now you can say it’s not about race, you can argue that these men are not racist. However the fear and actions that have been taken recently are very race related.

It’s people that have fallen and believe the lies that everyone is the same and view a single race as good or bad. Even our children are picking up on the messages they hear. I may lose friends for saying this and I don’t care. I’m not on earth to make friends, I’m here to spread a message and stand for what my heart tells me to stand for.
It’s people like Donald Trump, spreading the racist comments, all Hispanics are rapist, what is that. Why would anyone support the generalization of one race and separating that entire race and saying “yup, their all bad”.
Another that does a similar persuasion is Hillary Clinton, only she is much more subtle, she has a “I’m white and superior” tactic.
These messages poison our minds and our youths minds. They spread the fear that is fueling the killings we have seen lately.

We tend to gravitate to a place of comfort, as children it was our “group” or our “clicks”. We all had them, jock, stoner, goth, nerds. Today our clicks are Democrat, Republic or Green party and we cast out everyone else as incorrect in what they believe. How about we use our minds and take a stand for what is right not what everyone else is doing.

This world is being ran by children harboring wounds and resistant to let go of the time daddy beat me, or mommy didn’t come home. It’s no wonder we are falling apart as society.
I am white, I will never try to begin to understand what it’s like growing up a Black or Hispanic child, I cannot fathom the daily stress I would give up if I handed over my white privilege. If you can sit here and tell me for one second there is no such thing as white privilege, you are part of the problem.

I have a story to tell you, this is absolutely true and I will not use names to protect him. Let’s call him Stan, Stan was a tough Black boy. He looked me in the eyes every day and I backed down, until one day.
I was sent to a mostly black school as a child for a trial or test, maybe even a social experiment. They called it “busing” I was a skinny very tall white boy in a mostly Black school and it’s here I had my first account of white privilege. We had a class school for purchasing supplies, pencils, pens, erasers and even some small toys. I stole one and hide it in my pocket, brought it back to my class and was caught. I told the teacher I saw Stan drop it and he was trying to steal it. He was sent to the office and I was rewarded for my service. Would this be the same result if Stan told on me?

I’m not proud of it and have never told this story. I am to this day ashamed and it taught me something, I am white and with my smile I can get just about anything I want. Am I a racist, my honest answer is I don’t know. I have a great friend, probably one of my deepest friends is a Black man, but am I a racist?
I think I have more fear of someone with nothing to lose than a Black or a Hispanic man. I do not fear color, I fear ignorance, I fear close mindedness, judgment, I fear what our children are seeing and bringing home.. I fear to see what the next 40 years will look like if noting changes.

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“Achievement seems to be connected with action, Successful men and women keep moving, They make mistakes, but they don’t quit”. – Conrad Hilton

Life can go from great to terrible in a matter of minutes.

I’m struggling to keep a positive mind this morning and it’s only just begun, and when you wake up drained from a sleepless night of frustration the little issues that are normally brushed off seem much bigger. That thinking right there is feeding the feeling of hopelessness. There is hope for today still, it is a new day.

I keep telling myself, I have had worse days, I have been through much worse, and this is just another little bump in the road I’m walking down!

Today is a new day and I don’t give up! I hope this meets one person other than myself where they need to be met, life is a great blessing and journey if you choose to see it that way. Right now I’m thinking of all the good things I have in my life and pushing out the bad thoughts that keep feeding into keeping me down. Remember the blessings in the times that feel hopeless, dig deep to remember how much IS going right and find the people in your life that bring you up, that is why they are in your life, to help you when you stumble.

“If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up, Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it”. – Michael Jordan

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“Watch your thoughts, for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, watch your actions for they become habits, watch your habits for they become character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny”. – Anonymous

I have experienced this to its fullest, no matter how hard I fought my thoughts they always manifested in my life. I have seen that you WILL become what you tell yourself you are. You can be worthy or worthless, the choice is up to you.

I am back to life from a nice time of rest, away from work, life’s stress and the rigors and demands of adulthood. What a refreshing little vacation; laughter, late nights with friends and family. Time like this is the best remedy for me and is so meaningful to the way I feel love. Quality time is definitely one of my highest forms of love language and I am so thankful to be where I am right now in my life. I am surrounded by so much desired time from my loved ones I often have a hard time balancing it all out, not a bad place to be at all.

For a long time I secluded myself from a lot of people due to the imbalances in my life, mainly what I was telling myself, “what is wrong with me” and personalizing any issue I saw in my life, even from others. I told myself everyday “I probably will be exactly where I am for the rest of my life” and in turn began to give up and allow my spirit to become broken and not in a way that is pleasing to my faith or my future. If you know me at all you know I love to be social and often times can be over the top even. For a long time I lost that and was beginning to believed I never wanted it back, I was wrong.

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”. – Proverbs 23:7

My heart was breaking for the life I wished I had, just couldn’t achieve and at the time I desired but was far too complacent to ask for it any longer. God works in ways we will never understand and in timing that is confusing to any logical thinking. I never thought I would be where I am right now in my life, however now that I am here I believe it was God stepping in and changing my path just enough to show me he was still in charge and never left my side, even if I turned my back on him. I truly believe we all need a little nudge in life, and by little I mean flipping everything I knew upside down and letting me figure out where to start and rebuild. I am so thankful for my life, all of it and I see the mistakes I have made and lessons I should have learned the first time, even the second time or third.

Today I no longer tell myself “what is wrong with me” or “I probably will be exactly where I am for the rest of my life” I am not giving my power to the negative thoughts that ran my life for so long. I never found my true value of my life until I was fully alone. In the last year I have walked almost 2500 miles and little by little I found a missing piece of myself.

My only advice is to be cautious of what you tell yourself because you will become exactly what you believe you are. Life can be messy; it can be hard and at times may not feel worth it. Life can also be pleasing, joyous and amazing. Nothing in life is for free; every action has a reaction and there is a price to be paid somehow and by someone. What you give to the world around you is also what you will receive back. Believe you are better than you tell yourself you are and you will be. We are our own worst enemy, it’s a good thing we can choose how we think.