Celebration & World Domination

Don’t worry — there are no kids’ birthday cake disasters in the works. And I’m not still attempting to extend my 40th {well, not much}.

Nope. This birthday belongs to the blog.

That’s right, folks — The Fordeville Diaries meets The Terrible Twos. I’ve somehow learned to crawl and walk over the last two years in Blog Land — so now I guess it’s time for unpredictable public tantrums. Let the fun begin.

This is my 208th post on this site — 80 of which were written in the last year. I won’t bore you with everything that I covered in the last 12 months, but here’s the Reader’s Digest recap:

We unknowingly undertook the longest basement renovation in modern American history — pending final ruling from the people at The Guinness Book.

I drank wine.

I dreaded turning 40.

I embraced turning 40. This entailed taking my deep denial on a series of road trips, both domestic and international.

I almost kicked our General Contractor in the kneecaps somewhere around the eight month mark of the basement project.

I drank wine.

I had an apocalyptic swarm of bees in my yard, which resembled a National Geographic episode and a scene from Candyman. Which led to self-imposed house arrest and, ultimately, more wine.

I began to deny the very existence of our basement. Except that I was dragging dirty clothes to the laundromat for six months.

I kept the 40th birthday party going.

I harbored an unhealthy amount of rage toward my basement.*

{*Note: The final, final approved basement inspection JUST OCCURRED LAST WEEK. So if your wager on the completion timeframe of our “5-week” project was 54 weeks — you win! What you’ve won exactly is still TBD, but I have a ton of items in our storage pod you can choose from.}

Now that you’re up to speed on the riveting excitement of my life, I’ll tell you a secret — in the spirit of the blog’s birthday: I never get tired of writing here.

If I had more spare hours in the day, I would spend many of them doing exactly this. The blog is one of my favorite things in the world. And every time, with every post, I’m so thrilled — and sort of surprised, and certainly lucky — that someone will read it. And even comment. And then — sometimes — come back to read more.

Some posts are better than others. And it’s always fascinating to see which ones generate more comments and traffic {all you closet 50 Shades fans, I’m looking at you.}

These are my favorites from this past year. Because a birthday is a good time to look back.

A birthday is also a good time to look ahead. And though the terrible twos can be tough, I’m confident we can get through them together. With wine, of course. And coffee. And some unconventional parenting.

If you want to celebrate this birthday with me, I’d love it.

What’s that? You want to bring a gift to the party?

Oh no, I couldn’t possibly accept a gift. I don’t really need anyth–

Wait a minute.

I know what I really want. And you can help me get it.

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FORDEVILLE WORLD DOMINATION!

***************

I’m kidding.

Mostly.

What I mean is this: I love to write this stuff, but I’m bad at promoting it. Really bad. There are bloggers who excel at catchy, attention-grabbing titles and witty tweets to spread the word and attract more readers. I’m more like, “Uh, hey, if you guys have time and aren’t totally busy, maybe you could read this. I hope you think it’s a little funny. OKthanksbye.”

I was never a marketer by trade.

So, remember those Faberge Shampoo commercials from the 80s? “And then she told two friends, and she told two friends. And so on. And so on…”{If your answer is “Oh those were made before I was born,” just keep that to yourself, ok?}

That Faberge Effect is the best gift you could give me. If you like what you see around here — please pass it along to someone else who might enjoy it too. Because if my chronic mis-steps in parenting and, well — life in general — can help make one person feel less crazy, more normal and like Mother of the Year — then my writing is not in vain.

Not a fan of the Faberge model? How about this instead: If you’re not already following along on Facebook, please do. Because you get exclusive bonus features* over there beyond my blog posts. If I were a real blogger, I’d have some birthday giveaways or contests or something for all of you. The truth is, I’m just not that organized. But I suspect you already knew that.

{*Bonus features = mainly snarky photos about my kids or life in suburbia.}

But in all seriousness — thanks so, so much for your readership, your comments and your support. And your wine suggestions. You guys are fabulous.

So, if you’ll have me for another year, I’ve got a lot more up my sleeve. I can’t reveal everything, but I’m told that good marketers use teasers.

Will we renovate the kitchen next? Or maybe tear down the whole house? And who will live to tell?

How will Señor and I resolve our legal battle around the annual Halloween costume debacle?

In which states will my kids vomit this year on road trips?

And — last but not least — how many people will I accidentally poison through the new couples’ dinner club I’ve joined?

You’re all on the edge of your seats, aren’t you? I can feel it.

Year Three awaits. After I have some celebratory cake and wine. Join me, won’t you?

And Say it with Tape was one of my favorites. Must read The Problem w/ House Hunters b/c I’ve notice problems too. But how can you say you don’t come up w/ catchy titles when you’ve written How to Lose Your Will to Live at DMV?

Happy 2! I love your blog, so am happy to join in the celebration. And go you for turning the swarm of bees into an occasion for more wine. Totally my kind of gal 😉 Still stuck on your Fifty Shades post, and doubt I’ll ever get over it, since it truly made me pee my pants a little…

Congrats on your blogaversary! I have to say I love every post you’ve written. And I love that you love wine, and what will Senior be for Halloween this year? What does the finished basement look like? See, I can’t wait for year three!
And I will pimp the shizz out of your blog.

Jen, thanks so much for the kind words and for all of your support!
I can’t give away the answers to your questions just yet — especially for legal reasons when it comes to Senor’s costume. But stay tuned…

I'm Kim -- a suburban mom fueled by a little snark, a lot of caffeine (this is often code for wine), a healthy fear of craft stores and years of pent-up Manhattan road rage. Armed with a keyboard and an addiction to storytelling. Welcome to my tiny corner of the Internet. Read more...