Poor One Million Moms. So many campaigns in which to declare victory before frantically fleeing in disarray, so little time! So whom did OMM defeat this time? Bloodthirsty lesbian Ellen Degeneres is yesterday’s news. Nope, now it is the Gay Green Lantern, and his legion of fanboys. OMM, having obviously crushed this un-superhero’s un-super agenda, has now deleted its Facebook page entirely, because of Bible Camp.

The New Civil Rights Movement reports that moments after issuing a “warning” Friday about DC’s official announcement (see below), the page’s administrator began deleting positive comments before apparently giving up and removing the post entirely. Shortly afterward, the One Million Moms page disappeared from Facebook, certainly the initiative’s most valuable social media platform. The abrupt exodus was followed by a tweet announcing, unconvincingly, to Facebook users that, “OMM will be offline most of next week for Vacation Bible School!”

What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM’s Facebook page?

Speaking just for myself and without ever having seen any of them, ZERO.

ProgressiveInga

NONE of 'em, Katie……

http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

Crazy ones sometimes are real red hot mommas.

Swampgas_Man

Mothers I'd Label Fucked-up?

MadBrahms

Mothers with Incredible Lesbonic Fantasies?

http://wonkette.com Chill_Bill

OMM's last FB status update:
"Going back to the kitchen to make sammiches for one million dads!"

Sassomatic

OMM NOM. One million moms. Not One MILF.

sullivanst

"One million figure may not be accurate. Taxes and fees may apply."

HogeyeGrex

"Half a dozen batshit-crazy, repressed scolds" didn't have the same ring to it.

MadBrahms

I think being a member of NOM disqualifies one from being a MILF by default.

BaldarTFlagass

This Green Lantern gay thing is a surprise? Hell, I figured it out back in the 70s when he shared a comic book with the Green Arrow.

HateMachine

I think the only real surprise is that Batman wasn't the one DC decided to bring out of the closet. I mean, come on. Fabulously wealthy, perpetual bachelor, has a 'ward', has a cave full of leather outfits he likes to wear at night?

elviouslyqueer

And don't forget that the Joker declared his love for him in The Dark Knight Returns. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Wrong Green Lantern though; that was Hal Jordan, the Silver Age GL, who probably along with Jon Stewart is the most well-known of the Green Lanterns; this is Alan Scott, the original Golden Age GL.

SayItWithWookies

Soros, let me be the first to say that's sooooo brave of you to come out as a Green Lantern nerd. And I will love you just as much as before, no matter what.

SorosBot

Nah, I've always been more of a Marvel fan. Still know the basics on DC though of course.

SexySmurf

Which one of the Green Lanterns banged Scarlett Johansson?

Jus_Wonderin

I bet that had to be a stunt double.

BarackMyWorld

Hal Jordan.

Baconzgood

"Vacation Bible School!”

That sounds about as much fun as going on vacation to work at a Pizza Hut. Who the hell would want to do that?

BaldarTFlagass

Being raised in an atheist household, I was never forced to participate in this kind of shit, and I always felt great sympathy for my friends that were. Compassion, see, just like the Bible teaches.

proudgrampa

Oh, Baldar. You missed out on so much. Vacation Bible School was the epitome of the "religious experience."

It sucked. Big Time.

Baconzgood

Yeah it did. Imagine being in church….non-stop…..FOR A WHOLE WEEK!

Jus_Wonderin

We did get Lorna Doon's and Kool-aid. Yeah, I was raised Baptist.

proudgrampa

Oh. A fellow recovering Baptist. Southern or American?

It's a wonder we survived that.

Jus_Wonderin

Southern. The worst kind, right? Yeah, I am a backslider from as far back at 1973.

proudgrampa

Like I said. It's a wonder that we have survived that experience with our psyches intact.

anniegetyerfun

We're glad to have you here! Wonkette only takes the worst kind of anything.

cheetojeebus

Oh yeah, when the highlight of the day is a fucking snocone and story time includes a crazy "missionary" screaming that you will all burn in hell. Staying at home and watching endless daytime tv would be nirvana.

proudgrampa

Yup. In my early teens. I finally got tired of those assholes screaming at me that I was going to burn in hell.

There has got to be something better than guilt to help you find a purpose in life.

OkieDokieDog

I spent many a summer at the Baptist vacation bible school pasting cotton balls on lambs (not real ones, which probably would have been way more fun). Then we'd sing Onward Christian Soldiers The highlight of the day was cookies & Koolaid.

BaldarTFlagass

Koolaid, huh?

elviouslyqueer

You should've come to the Presbyterian VBS. We had brownies!

sullivanst

Brownies?!! What sort of Presbyterians allow such sinful pleasures of the flesh as dessert?

elviouslyqueer

Oh please, this was Louisiana, where every blessing started with "Praise the Lord and pass the etouffee."

http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

"We can get the kids to believe all of this shit with cookies and Kool-Aid!!"

Lizzietish81

Weird, cause I remember Bible School happening in the actual summer when school stopped.

Course I was in Liberal Hippy Methodist Bible School, and they didn't want to interfere with our public education.

Baconzgood

All good Christians are home schooled

prommie

Wasn't the movie called Jesus Camp?

Beowoof

I remember VBS, or as I like to think of it, Vacation Bible Torture. And we used to get out of school and go to religious education conducted by the church every week. That sucked too.

Ramon X

It's been a very long time ago… But the only thing I remember about VBS was that there were girls. Maybe I didn't do it right?

http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

Trust me, nobody. Between that and Bible Camp, where you spend morning and evening on religious claptrap with humiliations in the woods in the afternoon, summer is pretty much fundie-fucked.

Jimmyone

I lost my virginity to the Pastor's 16 year old daughter at VBS. I didn't know what a blow job was at the time……. I couldn't concentrate on the Bible part for the rest of the week. I spent the rest of my life in the pursuit of THE Blow Job. Is that covered in the Bible?

Sassomatic

Where is this million-mom camp? Sodexho would very much like to get its hands on that food service contract.

scvirginia

Even with multiple personality disorder, there's only so much that one mom can eat…

What is this country coming to when a hate group can't even have a facebook page? When will the anti-anti-gay bullying finally stop?

SorosBot

By calling them bullies, you're guilty of reverse bullying!

BigSkullF*ckingDog

So I'm guilty of anti-anti-anti-gay bullying? I'm soooo confused.

http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

Since so many of the anti-gay bullies are bullies, you're guilty of anti-anti-anti-gay bully bullying. I think.

George Skullfry

Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.

edgydrifter

Life must be pretty sweet when the thing that keeps you awake at night is anxiety about where a second-tier comic book character parks his fictional tackle.

Fare la Volpe

Isn't it canon that there are at least a billion Green Lanterns at any one time? How does the presence of a single gay one destroy the lives of families everywhere?

Butch_Wagstaff

The answer's is easy. It's Science! Or something…

http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

One Million Moms with firearms would be trouble…

NorthStarSpanx

Not if they shoot like Sarah Palin.

ProgressiveInga

Can't wait for Robin to come out and gay-marry Green Lantern and they have a gayby. Then Heather will have Two Super-Daddies.

SorosBot

No one tell them that Marvel has had many openly gay characters for quite some time, generally without making a big deal over it, and had the first male-male kiss in mainstream comics between Shatterstar and Rictor in X-Factor quite a few years ago.

BarackMyWorld

I was going to mention Apollo and the Midnighter have been gay since the 1990s, but DC only acquired them when they bought Wildstorm a few years ago.

http://sciencekick.blogspot.com valthemus

Let's tell them about Love & Rockets and watch their heads explode.

Viva Latina Lesbians!

http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

I must say my life is, on the whole, far more serene not knowing my Shatterstar from my elbow.

Butch_Wagstaff

They're not One Million Comic Nerds.

Rotundo_

Jesus yawned. And then scratched his balls, got a beer and sat down to watch the game and fall asleep-again.

prommie

Maybe there is no devil, maybe its just God when he's drunk. Tom Waits

An_Outhouse

BUILD THE DAMN FENCE!!!

Oh, wait. You meant Gee-zus not Hey-Zeuss.

SayItWithWookies

OMM is actually preparing for their big relaunch with a new name — Fifty Creepy Men and Their Beards.

Generation[redacted]

…Facebook, certainly the initiative’s most valuable social media platform.

Oooooo… Burn!

sewollef

Yeah…. not sure I'd call them an "initiative" either.

Goonemeritus

The real storey is not the Green Lantern is gay in an Alternate Universe, the real storey is North Star is getting gay married 6/20/12 in our Universe. Sure all you can rejoice at this acceptance of an alternative life styles if you want but the day I accept a French Canadian Hero is the day I die.

BaldarTFlagass

"French-Canadian Hero"

Well, he is a mutant, right?

Doktor StrangeZoom

SNIKT!!

BaldarTFlagass

“OMM will be offline most of next week for Vacation Bible School!”

Just kidding. They're all waiting down at the newsstand to pick up the new issue of Green Lantern when it comes out (as it were).

Billmatic

Is it just me or is there is a lot more cheesecake on this site lately?

Beowoof

You ask like it's a bad thing?

proudgrampa

Hmmmm. Those "sexy witches" are HAWT.

What was this about, again?

prommie

Faptastic anime witches!

BigSkullF*ckingDog

One million moms is not so much a description of their members as it is their total weight as a group. There's really like 147 members.

UnholyMoses

You forgot "Running Away Like A Bunch Of Pissy Middle School Girls Because Everyone Thinks We're Rucking Fetarded" as an option.

BaldarTFlagass

It's really too bad DC didn't out the Green Lantern a year ago, maybe the movie would have done better at the box office, at least among the gay population… You know, Brokeback Lantern.

Jus_Wonderin

I, for one, only see movies that have sheep in them. And I will pay more for sheep.

BaldarTFlagass

What, so you can "glue cotton" to them?

StealthMuslin

In the 1940s the Superman radio show did a Wikileaks number on the secrets of the Ku Klux Klan. http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/39296 This week Gay Green Lantern shut down the One Million (40K tops) Moms. In terms of doing good in the real world this puts superheroes two up on God.

CapnRadio

Eatin' muff? Will their big gathering be The One Million Mom Munch?

Generation[redacted]

More like Pancake Breakfast.

prommie

That I would pay to see!

UnholyMoses

What, you mean most groups don't entirely delete their pages when taking a break, choosing instead to leave them up until they return?

UNPOSSIBLE!

ShreditorsDesk

"We are all single and pregnant, so we won't be posting for 9 months."

BigSkullF*ckingDog

I propose we start our own organization. One Million Skullf*ckers. (OMSF for short) Our version of "camp" will be way more exciting than their's.

UnholyMoses

Hell, the Nazi's version of "summer camp" was probably more exciting than theirs will be.

(What? Is it still too soon … ?)

sewollef

Just point me to your sign up page.

UnholyMoses

You know who else had a summer camp?

Blueb4sunrise

Bill Murray?

SorosBot

Tommy?

chascates

Jason Voorhees?

BaldarTFlagass

Allan Sherman?

Generation[redacted]

William T. Sherman?

MosesInvests

Alyson Hannigan?

BigSkullF*ckingDog

When do we get to learn the results of these surveys? Or are they collecting data to do a study on the opinions of sexual deviants?

sewollef

Has anyone ever counted them?

I mean, are there actually one million mothers who are crazy as fucking hell? Wow.

SorosBot

I think it's really "A dozen or so moms", but like the old "moral majority" they assume the majority of other moms are as backwards and hate-filled as them and silently agree. And they are wrong.

BaldarTFlagass

They took down their Facebook page because they're moving to the more relevant social media platform, MySpace. They'll probably keep their AOL email addresses, though.

Generation[redacted]

Well, duh. They have a thousand free hours on CD-ROM.

Jus_Wonderin

AOLibel!!!!!

BarackMyWorld

But purists and fans note: This Green Lantern is not the emerald galactic space cop Hal Jordan who was, and is, part of the Justice League and has had a history rich in triumph and tragedy. Instead, he's a parallel earth Green Lantern. James Robinson, who writes the new series, said Alan Scott is the retooled version of the classic Lantern whose first appearance came in the pages of "All-American Comics" No. 16 in July 1940…..DC comics has other gay characters, too, including Kate Kane, the current Batwoman, The Question, and married characters Apollo and the Midnighter.http://news.yahoo.com/green-lantern-relaunched-br…

Yeah, come on, folks, it's just Alan Scott.

Generation[redacted]

Also Rob Halford.

BaldarTFlagass

"came in the pages of "All-American Comics"

Hence their being all stuck together.

And dude, 1940? He's gotta be all old and wrinkly, right?

BarackMyWorld

The whole DC timeline got rebooted, so…no.

BaldarTFlagass

OK. I guess since I stopped reading comics for the most part at about the same time I got my first car and girlfriend, around 35 years ago, I'll stop trying to pretend I'm up to date.

BarackMyWorld

DC's got a bajillion Green Lanterns. If Hal Jordan came out of the closet, people might have a reason to care.

Naked_Bunny

Arisia was a teenage alien, but at least she wasn't a guy!

George Skullfry

"Arisia"?

Doc Smith LIBEL!!!

SorosBot

Having Apollo and Midnighter in the main DC universe after the reboot is strange, because they're obvious analogues to Superman and Batman, except they're a couple and are willing to kill. As part of the Wildstorm universe they worked well; but now they're in the same world as the real Clark and Bruce and that's somewhat odd.

BarackMyWorld

If your point is that DC is stupid, you can rest your case.

SorosBot

The reboot, especially, is stupid. Let's embrace the worst excesses of the 90s and make everything super grim, gritty and ultra-violent!

BarackMyWorld

And with costumes designed by 90s icon Jim Lee!
Body armor and v-shaped collars for everyone!

Does anyone else have an issue with the fact that they made Green Lantern's lover a short Asian man, which sort of perpetuates a different unpleasant stereotype?
and here's today's relevant hetero challenge (you know you will send this link to all your friends): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCMxEkbPaPY

Estproph

Well, he is vulnerable to the color yellow…

BarackMyWorld

For the 100th time…not THAT Green Lantern…

metamarcisf

In the brightest day, in the blackest night, no mother shall escape my sight

And it was all intentional; WW's creator was really, really into bondage. He also was married and him and his wife had a girlfriend they engaged in regular threesomes with.

Generation[redacted]

So I wasn't the only one fantasizing about being the ground crew for her invisible jet? (a little to the right, now forward, there right there)

Stevola

Page 8:"Goblin Head Rock"?

Callyson

What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?

Moose hunting camp

Women's Christian Temperance Union meeting

The rapture

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Zombie apocalypse.

chascates

One million moms and they ALL are gone off to vaca bible skool?

Naked_Bunny

Well, they only have the one computer.

BaldarTFlagass

So, Green Lantern is gay. Your move, Fredric Wertham.

http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

They're just lucky Dad is dead.

prommie

I send Prommie Junior to a church camp. Its a Quaker camp, I call it, variously, Hippiecampus, or Camp Bongwaters. At drop-off and pick-up, every vehicle is a Volvo, and there are Birkenstocks everywhere. Peasant dresses and unshaved legs! I am surrounded by every liberal college professor stereotype in existence. They have turned him into a pacifist agnostic. Its great! I think the kids are all sexing each other, he's 12 now, jeebus, what the fuck, he should get to 13 at least, before delving into all that shit, shouldn't he? Fucking kids make you old.

Jus_Wonderin

"pacifist agnostic"

How does that compare with an atlantic agnostic?

mavenmaven

That's the one that used to have a gay republican sarah palin birth conspiracy columnist, no?

Dear Diary:
Day One — So happy to be at Bible Camp. Everyone is so friendly. Pastor Bill plays the most beautiful guitar to accompany the hymns.
Day Two — A million moms and ten portapotties.Thank you Jesus for building this majestic forest.
Day Three — Okay, which one of you bitches stole my eye-liner?
Day Four — Enough of the religion crap all day long. Caroline may a whore, but she brews some mean meth.
Day Five — Snuck into the counselor's tent last night and got drunk with Pastor Bill, after Jennifer said he was really hung. She was right.
Day Six — Skinny dip and orgy following evening services, and we all swear on bible not to tell.
Day Seven — Home to the hubby and my four darling children in time for church. Bill tweets during hymn 148 that he may have crabs.

deit: Editrix, where do we go to see our vote results in these delicious polls?

keinsignal

Oh good, the poll allows multiple answers. I picked the last three, I think they make a rather compelling story put together…

Dashboard Buddha

How does one see the results of the poll?

anniegetyerfun

I am beginning to suspect that One Million Moms is actually a brilliant piece of guerilla marketing by an agency hired to promote the liberal agenda. Literally anything these broads bitch about is immediately a cpmplete success.

ChessieNefercat

"1. What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?"

I looked for OMM with "feminine itch", but didn't see it.

ttommyunger

"What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?" Probably not the oral sex, I'm guessing.