I’m sorry to say that this year has become a time where I’m more and more lost in my thoughts. My human’s decision to move to Seattle has hurled me into a state of confusion that is rivaled only by her own. She knows what she needs to do. I know what I need to do. But neither of us know who is doing what or when. And its not like this state of mind is a short term thing; in fact, my life has been in turmoil for several months now.

My time in Second Life has become a time of mindlessness and thoughless behavior, and this is the only relief I seem to get. I can’t even find relief out on the Blake Sea.

That’s me looking at the living room andit is ok for now but still needs work.

The bedroom is coming along but needs a lot of workand I have a lot of ideas but can’t seem to finish.

That’s the porch and it’s coming along.I’d like something like a little dining tableor something very warm and engaging butI become lost in my thoughts when working on it.

I have so much to be thankful for and yet this is how I feel.

Sometimes just writing my concerns down like this is helpful. Maybe my hormones are going nuts on me or something. I’m sure I’ve made it through rougher times. I know there’ll be a time when all the planning and moving is complete. I know I’ll probably find a decent new home. I think there’s time to do everything that need to be done, but I’m not sure. I need to clear my thoughts but remain lost and adrift. Maybe I just need a nap.

I suppose this sounds skeery. I’ll prolly take it now in a few minutes.

Hi Laurence… thanks for you thoughts. I’m afraid this is more than just wandering of thoughts, its more like a panic sweeping over me. I seem to have lost a great deal of my ability to confront things since leaving the world of exec madness. I feel it every day, an inemptness. I’ll find a way back, but right now I can’t see a pathway.

I don’t think this post is skeery, I think its great that you blogged about how you feel at the moment, it’s something more bloggers and people should do. I often feel lost and especially in times of transition. Different people have different ways to get through it but sometimes we just have to let our thoughts wander, they need their space too! I really like your house, and love the pics of it. Looks like a very relaxing place. 🙂

Thanks Raza… well, Feelings-R-Us here at Being Yordie Sands. When I’m writing at my best I drop my defenses and let it out. But when I do that it’s like putting it out there for the world to see. I don’t know if it helps or hurts, but it seems to be the person i’ve become. And scatterbrained too.

I’m glad you like the new home, it is a great comfort. Leanna and I just made up our mind one night to go the extra distance and rent the homestead. It’s been a great decision so far.

I know it’s hard to believe, Vaneeeesa. The thing is I am overrun by decisions and indecisions, and a sense of the calendar flipping by. Anyway, I went to bed early and had a good sleep, but unfortunately it’s 2:15am and dawn is hours away. This sucks too. Maybe i can go back to sleep. /me sorta does a pfft. hugs VB