Author
Topic: I tweeted to Talib Kweli & D.O.C. about what the voices were saying to me (Read 873 times)

Ebony Zebedee

So basically, I was consumed and overwhelmed with horrific voices and visuals all threatening me and telling me they were going to reinstate slavery, do medical experiments on people, deform people into masses of pulsating flesh that are breathing but are suffocating and that I was going to be used to administer pain against people I have loved who I do not identify with culturally. I felt sick to my guts and transfixed, like frozen, silent out sheer shock and horrified at the potential reality.

The pyschosis calluminated into a severe kidney infection which had me vomiting blood and with excruciating pain radiating from left kidney, leaving me doubled over and begging for mercy. But, the onset of illness erased all symptoms of psychosis.

Upon returning home from the Emergency Department I could not forget what the voices were talking about and began the process of unfollowing all people on social media, aswell as tweeting to individuals about the apparent threat to their existence.

I tweeted to Talib and D.O.C. who both replied. I relayed what the voices were saying to me and my concern for their welfare and stated that that was why I was disengaging from them.

D.O.C. quite maturely acknowledged my fears and stated he hoped I did not hurt myself or anyone else.

Talibs initial reaction when I bid him farewell was to reply "Why? Where am I going?"

I feel compelled to relay this experience to many people, regardless that it could have a negative consequence on peoples perception of me. The intention was to warn people and possible assist or bring light to a potential reality that could have devestating effects.

I then wrote a short message which I sent to many people including Erykah Badu, Chuck D, Ras Kass, The New Black Panther Party and various other people I have communicated with.

The message was basically relaying what Ive been hearing, that I felt compelled to warn people and that I could accept if these are false beliefs.

Maybe my mind is to addled to handle my participation in current political and ethnically centred events without becoming overwhelmed.

Still, I have had prophetic voices and visions in the past and would feel horrified further if I were to be privvy to a conspiracy and not let people know.

Today I do not feel the sense of urgency I felt yesterday and the day before so am basically writing this in hope that maybe someone reads it and can garner an understanding of my behaviour that times is illusive to even me.

Given the current political climate I do not think these threats that were made to me in my mind are that far fetched. Anything is possible.

It would be a good idea to let your doctor know about all those prophecies as well, so that they can give you all the right meds which you should definitely take. I'm sure that will remove the risk of anyone getting harmed and thus you will fulfill your purpose, too.

Logged

Ebony Zebedee

It would be a good idea to let your doctor know about all those prophecies as well, so that they can give you all the right meds which you should definitely take. I'm sure that will remove the risk of anyone getting harmed and thus you will fulfill your purpose, too.

My doctors have misled me on many occassions. I assume they are trying to get me to invest believing I am incapable of making informed choices. I am, and have been for the past 10 months on the highest dose of anti psychotics. My other doctor, my general practitioner calls me Darling and Donna so this morning I am ringing the ringing the surgery and telling them I wish to be allocated to a new doctor as I feel I am being treated unprofessionally. His name is Lambooy. I googled it. He is Dutch. I have recieved much advice from various doctors about my mental and physical health, all of which is contradictive with prior assessments.

It would be a good idea to let your doctor know about all those prophecies as well, so that they can give you all the right meds which you should definitely take. I'm sure that will remove the risk of anyone getting harmed and thus you will fulfill your purpose, too.

My doctors have misled me on many occassions. I assume they are trying to get me to invest believing I am incapable of making informed choices. I am, and have been for the past 10 months on the highest dose of anti psychotics. My other doctor, my general practitioner calls me Darling and Donna so this morning I am ringing the ringing the surgery and telling them I wish to be allocated to a new doctor as I feel I am being treated unprofessionally. His name is Lambooy. I googled it. He is Dutch. I have recieved much advice from various doctors about my mental and physical health, all of which is contradictive with prior assessments.

Mental illnesses are quite difficult to diagnose accurately in general as there are no visible symptoms and it is all ''as reported'' rather than observed. They might not be monitoring your meds' doses right (say if you are on lithium for example) or you might need another one added in. You seem quite adequate (in terms of your sentences making sense, not else) for being on a maximum dose so you might have developed a tolerance for it and might therefore need a slow discontinuation and a change onto a new one.

All those, obviously decisions made by your doctors, so it doesn't matter if the new one is Dutch or from whatever elsewhere, I'd still advise you go see him. Hallucinations and random voices are no joke.

It would be a good idea to let your doctor know about all those prophecies as well, so that they can give you all the right meds which you should definitely take. I'm sure that will remove the risk of anyone getting harmed and thus you will fulfill your purpose, too.

My doctors have misled me on many occassions. I assume they are trying to get me to invest believing I am incapable of making informed choices. I am, and have been for the past 10 months on the highest dose of anti psychotics. My other doctor, my general practitioner calls me Darling and Donna so this morning I am ringing the ringing the surgery and telling them I wish to be allocated to a new doctor as I feel I am being treated unprofessionally. His name is Lambooy. I googled it. He is Dutch. I have recieved much advice from various doctors about my mental and physical health, all of which is contradictive with prior assessments.

Mental illnesses are quite difficult to diagnose accurately in general as there are no visible symptoms and it is all ''as reported'' rather than observed. They might not be monitoring your meds' doses right (say if you are on lithium for example) or you might need another one added in. You seem quite adequate (in terms of your sentences making sense, not else) for being on a maximum dose so you might have developed a tolerance for it and might therefore need a slow discontinuation and a change onto a new one.

All those, obviously decisions made by your doctors, so it doesn't matter if the new one is Dutch or from whatever elsewhere, I'd still advise you go see him. Hallucinations and random voices are no joke.

I appreciate your concern and I am percieving your advice as logical based on the knowledge you have at hand. Unfortunately I am more inclined to acknowledge the profit aspect of medicinal practice. Basically, repeat customers. Paliperidone is the drug I am on. I refuse, whilst I still have a small say in my treatment to consent to being trialed on new medications. Paliperidone is relatively new. The side effects are less disturbing than the lithium you suggested which is used as a mood stabilizer and can leave patients feeling catatonic. All in all, we've veered from the subject at hand. My first question to nurses when diagnosed was "How much does western medicine take Eastern mysticism into account?" The reply was "We dont" A delusion is a belief held by one, not held by others of the same cultural background. In some cultures, my symptoms can be recognised as a positive affirmation of connection to the spirit realm. In the West, hallucinations, particularly voices, are generally reported as a negative experience. In the East, ofyen times people associate voices with their ancestors. I am not going to totally devalue western medicines as I was administered Endone for my kidney pain and consider it a miracle drug. Yes there is much unknown about mental health, therefore, any attempt to rectify my symptoms is done on a trial and error basis. The profit aspect of medicine, obstructs practitioners from administering cures. I must also point out that I have had many positive experiences that cannot be explained by Western medicine although there's documentation of their existing. I choose to learn coping skills as it has also been documented that if you allow pyschosis to persist and eliminate stress, symptoms will subside.

Well, I come from a medical background and I don't do primitive pseudo medicine with no scientific basis whatsoever, so my previous advice is as far as I'll go on this topic. Hope whatever else you decide to try works for you, although I seriously doubt it.

Logged

Ebony Zebedee

Well, I come from a medical background and I don't do primitive pseudo medicine with no scientific basis whatsoever, so my previous advice is as far as I'll go on this topic. Hope whatever else you decide to try works for you, although I seriously doubt it.

A reluctance to admit to negative truths is a trait I find distasteful. Quite common also. If I wish to be misled I will ask questions. But it seems some people are intent on ousting themselves with the security of impunity.