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And an essay topic which explores the similarities between corn farming, nuclear weaponry, and print journalism would be a superb example of the common core standards in English that this nation desperately needs.

Sadly if history is any judge in a decade Republicans will be agitating for 3/4ths of that 8 point plan and we’ll be looking back at The Onion as once again being a disgustingly accurate predictor of US lunacy.

(It won’t be 100% because the Onion put a truly ludicrous thing in this time to ensure that no Republican will take up the banner. No Republican is ever going to suggest raising the price of a fishing license to $140K.)