Normalcy. Unhappy. Risk.

Have you ever felt like you were on the edge of a cliff and you couldn’t see what was below you? Not literally, but the felling of it. You have butterflies in your stomach; you have a hard time going to sleep because you are consumed with the edge of that cliff; you wake up in the middle of the night because you ponder what will happen when you leave the edge of safety; your friends are telling you to stay on solid ground, “don’t jump” they shout at you; you add to your virtual list of what could go wrong; your thoughts toggle between the worst happening and the excitement of not knowing where you will land.

It can be a cluster of a process on the edge of a decision in your life, a change, that will shift your previous understanding of normalcy. A few years ago, I found myself being disgruntled with my everyday routine. I kept wondering whose life I was living, mine or what I thought others wanted me to live like. That, by the way, is no one’s fault but mine. If I am making decisions in my life based on the approval of others, then it’s my fault when I am not happy in life. Once I realized that I had listened far too long to the voices in my head of man’s approval being my rudder, I got angry. Not only did I get angry (which is a normal, healthy, human emotion), but I immediately began dreaming about what I wanted my life to look like. It was like I was finally coming out of a coma and taking my first breath all on my own.

Taking risks in life can be scary. We are human and our minds can think up a million different reasons to stay comfortable. For me, the blueprint has yet to arrive in the mail detailing what my life will look like in 2 weeks or 2 years. What I do know is that there is a great tension when one is on the verge of taking a risk outside of their comfort zone. There is no formula for each person to know how to make those decisions. However, you will never know what is really inside of you until you step out of what “feels” safe according to your experience.

The picture of me below is hours after embarking on a great adventure of leaving home and moving to a tiny island off the coast of Honduras. In this picture, I had no idea I would be doing humanitarian work for children and seeing an inner passion realized. I had no idea what challenges I would have ahead. I didn’t know when my money would run out or what I would do next to fill my pockets. I didn’t know where I would lay my head at night, nor whom I would become friends with along the way. What did I know? I was alive and ready for living a life of not always knowing every detail!

Have you faced experiences in your life as if you are about ready to step out from the edge of a cliff?

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4 thoughts on “Normalcy. Unhappy. Risk.”

Hello Jill, your story is awesome and encouraging all the same. I wonder did Utila call out to you or did it just feel right to step off? Your picture is funny and I expect to look and feel the same soon.

Thanks, Barry! Utila didn’t call to me, necessarily. I just knew it was time to step off and take a risk. I already knew that travel and experiencing other cultures are huge joys to me. Then to add on top of that, not knowing what everything was going to look like on a daily basis, was just the perfect storm for me:) I hope your stepping off the edge awakens great things in you!

Great blog…I like the way you write. yes, i do feel like that quite frequently..and it’s hard to reel myself back. You have guts..I would never be able to take the risks that you did..I admire you for that..that is too much “fly by the seat of my pants” for me..I have heard about people doing that, but havent met anyone (until now) to take that chance..I have a feeling you are finding inner happines and peace..good for you:):) Hugs ((((((((((()))))))))))))

Thank you for your comment! I really don’t think I have something that you don’t. It was as simple as making the choice to go for it. I think that if it isn’t there for you right now, then it isn’t the right time. It was just the perfect storm for me and I also believed that God would always be with me, so what did I have to fear? Blessings to you! Thanks for following my blog:)

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A Little About Me

I'm a writer, deep thinker and on a quest to BE PRESENT and BE LOVE. I'm an ex-churchgoer. I've lived in 27 different places in my life. I was once an island dweller and I've been a pioneer in a handful of start-up organizations in the USA, Switzerland, and Honduras. Oh and I should add that I am a recovering people-pleaser. I hope to bring humor and thought-provoking ideas to my readers.

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