Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bring it around town... bring it around tooooowwnn!

In light of DCZC being just around 2 weeks away, I will be giving advice on how to survive a zombie invasion. (disclaimer: if zombies ever do happen, i'm sorry if this advice doesn't help) I will be giving said advice every few days for the next few days. (Cheap way of making it look like i'm writing a lot) So without further ado, i bring you part 1 of my zombie survival guide.

1. Always bring someone along that you can run faster than/ don't care about.

Now this may seem cruel hearted but given the circumstances you will need to do whatever it takes. Besides, I'm sure you would rather not be eaten.

Whats that you say? You don't have anyone you can bring with you that fits that description? Well in that case you may need to look to friends of friends and/or spouses of friends. Said friends may be mad at you at first but they will thank you later when they come out of the zombie apocalypse unscathed. Just remind them that they were to good for him/her, or that their brother was a real dick.

If all else fails and you are desperate for someone slower than you in your group you may need to resort to injuring whoever you like the least. Again, this may seem cruel, but the ends justify the means. It also helps if you can get another person in your group to believe what you are doing is the right choice. Strength in numbers.

Duck face. I thought i had covered this issue enough last time I wrote about it, but I guess not. People that I thought were friends have started dating/seeing/becoming duckfacers. Cut it out.

That is all on that.

Why are people convinced they are Mayan shamans?

Unless you look like the above picture, you are not a Mayan shaman. Sure, my research for what one looks like may only be Google image searching Mayan shamans, but i feel like thats more time and effort than you have put into finding out what they look like.

Maybe one day this blog will be read by more than 5 people. That would be pretty sweet. But, until then.....

FAQs

Q: Who writes this amazing blog???A: This blog is written and maintained by two thoroughly awesome people, this while confusing ensures that there is a semi steady leak of information and content being published here. We of course being Andrew (aka Andy) and Kaze (who has taken to calling himself Kryptor on the internet, a fad that has yet to catch on with the rest of the world)

Q: Why should I, someone who is fairly computer literate check this blog on a regular basis?A: For a multitude of reasons, namely I will drink all the terrible drinks so you don't have to. We test zombie lore, to ensure that only the best knowlege gets passed on to you. And honestly, because you are terrible at browsing the internet. We, however, have gotten it down to an art. And are willing to dig through all the nasty perverse corners of the web to find and bring to you the best content the web has to offer.

Q: Why are there so many videos, and not a lot of actual words.A: Because videos are what the internet is truly about. Especially when cats or scantily clad women are involved.

Q:Where are all the scantily clad women???A:While we obviously don't condone the objectification of women and find it demeaning to all parties involved, if you absolutely must we recommend Andy and Kaze Have an Adult Blog