Unstealthiest Ninja 3

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Let Him Go. Let's deal with this like ninjas. Like exhausted, apathetic ninjas.

My colleagues, I have gathered you here today to discuss the Student Who Shall Not Be Named. Yes, it is disconcerting that at our training facility - a facility known for turning out only the most disciplined and deadly young ninjas - we should find such an inept pupil, but I feel the way we've been handling his situation is the wrong way.

Wandering the grounds, I will often see many of you working with the Student Who Shall Not Be Named. Maybe you're trying to teach him how to run delicately across the surface of a pond, or maybe you're lecturing him on proper camouflaging techniques. Or maybe you're just telling him to stay away from open flames. At any rate, it's very noble of you to take on these lessons, but we've seen time-after-time that our teaching has no effect on him. That's why I propose we approach the situation not like teachers, but like the ninjas we are deep down. Is it not our mantra to be quietly and stealthy? Then why don't we quietly and stealthily let him pass each of his tests so that he may graduate, leave, and no longer be our problem?

Yes, yes, I know. The better solution would be to quietly and stealthily dismiss him, but he's the grandson of a trustee or something so that's out of the question. And not to worry: he won't damage our reputation too much.

Why not? Oh, come on! Don't pretend you don't know. Just look at him. He's not going to last very long out in the field...