5 Biggest Turn Ons For Guys – What men find sexy

by Carlos Cavallo ·
Published November 21, 2017 · Updated January 15, 2019

5 Biggest Turn Ons For Men – What men find sexy…

If you’re like many women out there, you might be a bit confused as to what men find sexy in a woman. You might get a bunch of different stories depending on the guy you ask.

And I gotta tell you, doing some research for this article brought me in contact with some really bad advice out there on the Internet.

Watch out for a lot of misinformation when it comes to the topic of what turns men on and what guys find sexy…

A lot of things are a matter of tastes, but most are fairly easy to group together into a list of what is most common – and that’s what I’ve done for you here.

For example, I saw an article that claimed that a woman ‘covered in tattoos’ was a turn-on. I can tell you that this is a very isolated case, and that most men do NOT like women covered in tattoos. Just sayin… before you go out and get yourself inked – rethink that.

Turn-on?

So I came up with your essential short list of the five biggest turn ons for men. This is accurate, and easy for you to use.

But first, I’ve got to start by telling you a few things that turn guys OFF:

Trying something out of a magazine – or something you bought at an adult shop…

I get it, you want to be clever and try that “breath mint trick” with your guy. But the worst thing you can do is to just use one of those clever tips without taking into account if that really CONNECTS with your man. Sure, guys like sexy-time – all the time… but we also want more connection in the bedroom the further the relationship goes along…

Pretending to want to watch porn with us when you’re not into it…

We get it – you’re not as into watching a Brazilian foursome with the pizza delivery guy as we are. That’s cool. But do us both a favor and don’t pretend you’re into it. If there’s one thing that doesn’t work, it’s pretending in the bedroom. (Unless you had a little roleplaying you wanted to do. But even then, make it REAL.)

Asking questions that are not really questions…

Okay, this is one I’m sure we’re all guilty of. When we ask a question with an agenda, like: “Where were you last night?” it almost never has a positive effect. Primarily because it’s fairly obvious that the next question is going to be about your current anxiety or emotional state – or just how pissed you are at us. Instead of asking an agenda question, why not take a few seconds and connect, authentically, and then describe the feelings that are at work inside you. Being up-front the first few times will take bravery, but will likely be rewarded with his guard coming down sooner.

And with that, let’s jump into a man’s biggest turn-ons…

Biggest Turn On #1: Be a Tease…

Of course, I mean the GOOD kind of tease.

The bad kind is the woman who leads a man on sexually, just to satisfy her needs for attention. This is what most guys have experienced at some point in their lives. And a LOT of it in our early 20s when singles bars were the “meat/meet” market we frequent a lot. Most of the girls we met back then were all too happy to milk us for a few free drinks and then ditch us. (Maybe not you, but many of the women we met in the bars did.)

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What I’m talking about here is teasing a man with playful push-pull energy.

Don’t be afraid to give a guy a hard time here and there.

Be coy…

With a loving energy, you can really rile him up.

And it’s exactly this kind of energy that makes a man obsessed with you. I explain this in detail in my Passion Phrases course.

The idea is to simply pull back a bit when he’s showing interest, and then leaning back in when he pulls away. It’s the tug-of-war of love, and it WORKS.

Let me repeat that for those of you that feel that this is “manipulation” (yeah, I’m talking to the youtube commenters out there)

Playful teasing of a guy and “dancing” with your interest – sometimes called FLIRTING – WORKS.

And it’s NOT manipulative. It’s what every irresistible woman does instinctively.

Huge Turn On #2: Fun Girl…

Guys LOVE the Fun Girl.

You know, the one that:

Jokes with us and plays with us…

Sits down and plays a video game with us…

Doesn’t get upset at a few off-color jokes (she might even be telling a few)

Isn’t overly rigid or structured about her life…

Willing to try new things…

Be playful – Be fun, girl…!

The Fun Girl is also comfortable with herself…

She doesn’t need to TRY to be fun… she IS fun.

And when there’s a weird or awkward moment, you’re right there with us. Laughing at it, going with the moment, and not pretending it didn’t happen just to save face.

Fun is THE first priority on the first few dates, and probably a whole bunch of dates after that, too.

What Turns A Guy On #3: Eager Student…

Guys love girls that are curious about men.

We’re very used to hearing women complain about men… But we almost never really hear what you’re genuinelycurious about.

Most of the questions wind up sounding like: “Why are you THAT way? Can’t you change that?”

You might hear the underlying sound of disapproval in that, and you’d be right.

What’s the one thing a man needs from a woman more than anything?

ACCEPTANCE

Be interested in his life…

Don’t underestimate how hard he will work for that acceptance from you.

So when a woman wants to know what pleases us in bed…

… or wants to know more about our hobbies or passions…

… or what makes us happy in general…

We’re instantly drawn to that curious woman. The one that wants to be a student of our experience.

Try it sometime.

When you’re talking to a guy, just radiate unconditional acceptance to him. You’ll have this guy following you around like a lost puppy for the rest of the night.

Turn Your Man On #4: Desire…

Women desire more than anything to be desired.

You might say, “Carlos, I just want to be loved.”

And I’d agree.

AND I’d remind you that being loved is really a desire to FEEL loved.

And ask yourself, how do you actually FEEL that love?

Chances are it’s when a man shows it to you – by letting you know you’re desirable to him.

What if I told you your man wants the exact same thing?

We all want that feeling of being desired. It’s the proof our emotional brain needs to see to complete that “love loop.”

It’s not weird or selfish to want this, it’s only natural.

Get him to keep thinking about you…

No matter how you define love, we want to feel it, and guys need to feel desired by you in order to FEEL it.

Let him know you desire him, and watch the effect it has on him.

Watch his eyes light up…

Watch him as he changes his mind about you…

Watch as he starts to see you in a different light…

Watch as he starts to feel your worth and devotion…

Watch him as he realizes he can’t do without you anymore…

And there’s one more weird thing that will turn a guy on – this will really shock you:

How To Turn A Guy On #5: Soft Confidence…

Oh yeah, I know this one is going to trigger a few of you.

Let’s be really clear about what makes a woman “soft” and the part that makes you “confident.”

First of all, soft = girliness. That willingness to be a nurturing, accepting, gentle-woman. All that stuff that makes you feminine.

I’m not saying you need to stifle your voice. I’m NOT saying anything that implies you should submit and be oppressed. K?

True beauty, no matter what age…

Only that you want to reflect that which attracts a man to you, which is your tender softness.

And SOFT goes REALLY well with the other part of you: Your Confidence.

Feminine confidence is NOT about being a “bitch.”

It’s not about being “hard-nosed” or contentious. (Though you have a right to be if it’s what you need.)

Again, many men and women are confused over the role of their gender and how it gets redefined in this “new age” of what is “boy,” “girl,” or other.

Keep in mind, if you’re a straight woman seeking a straight guy, you want a healthy male/female polarity between you. Even the gay couples I’ve known had this dynamic within them.

But it’s confusing, isn’t it? Not knowing how to simply be anymore?

Let me take some of the confusion out of it for you…

Let me show you what men REALLY think and feel…

Let me show you what women cannot show you – because no matter how much they say they GET men, they are not men…