Had the urge a while ago to text OM and let him know what she's been doing on this side of the fence. How they're just friends and apparently we're still fuck buddies. How despite her not wearing the ring no paperwork has been filed.

Couple of things "clicked". They met when he responded to a craigslist ad she had posted back in May looking for old doors, barn wood, etc. for her business. He was tearing down a barn on his property and responded to the ad.

He asked if she needed it cut to size and she had responded no, her husband could take care of that. By late June, she was asking him to cut it, saying we were separated (a lie I found about only recently). The texting / calling didnt pick up until right before the 4th. On the 6th I had handed her pre filled out paperwork to review. She disappeared for two days and when she did come back she had the paperwork sticking out of her purse.

Now, over the past few weeks she's been jumping back into my bed talking alternately about working on things then flip a switch she wants to divorce this marriage has been / is smothering her.

Personally, I'm done with the emotional abuse and her selfish behavior, the entitlement, the lying, the cheating, etc. and am looking forward to reclaiming my life in the next few weeks when she moves into the new place I just went into escrow on. But a sick twisted part of me knows that if she's been stringing me along, then she's doing the same shit to him. Would love to burst her bubble and let her wallow in her own shit alone for once.

Figured I'd post those thoughts here and get hit with a 2x4 rather than stir that drama llama from a nap though. Let'em figure her bullshit out on his own.

37 BH
Sons 17 and 9 Daughters 12, 8, 6.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest

norabird♀ 42092Member # 42092

Posted: 2:00 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014

Totally natural urge, I get it. Focus on you, though.

(((H&L)))

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4315 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC

Forged1♂ 43418Member # 43418

Posted: 2:31 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014

The thing with cake eaters is that they eventually run out of cake. I think she realizes that she's pretty much out of cake. You're ready for D (you've got the papers signed) and she realizes that the doors on your particular bakery are swinging shut. I would imagine that OM is now staring down the barrel of the fact that she's going to be divorced from you soon and he might actually have to make good on whatever promises he made during the A. He's probably realizing that he doesn't want to do that, and she's beginning to realize that herself, so she's pinballing.

Do not engage with OM/AP and keep trucking on down the path to divorcing her ass. She'll be back banging on your door soon enough. Let her in if you feel like it. Don't if you don't.

Me: BH
Her: Almost XW

Almost done with D
==================================
At this stage, I'm pretty much bulletproof.

Posts: 677 | Registered: May 2014 | From: USA

Jrazz♀ 31349Member # 31349

Posted: 2:34 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014

Now, over the past few weeks she's been jumping back into my bed talking alternately about working on things then flip a switch she wants to divorce this marriage has been / is smothering her.

You know that whatever cooties he's got crawling in his bed are getting dragged back into yours, right? Protect yourself, please. Keeping her out of your bed would probably be the best way to do that.

(((H&L)))

"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23912 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

HurtingandLost♂ 29322Member # 29322

Posted: 2:44 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014

Jrazz -

Agreed. Had several nights of blissful denial followed by extreme anxiety on that point. Have an appointment next week to do the dirty deed "gift" tests.

Not sure how to explain the situation. Not like Dday#1 back in 2010. Not HB (well, 1st time was). Emotional, yes. Roller Coaster? Yes, just not with the super highs or lows, maybe some resignation mixed in to compensate for that added to mild depression and anxiety. Against my better judgement? Ab-so-freakin-lute-ly. Do I feel used? Yep. Like a turd just before the impending flush.

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are

Posts: 214 | Registered: Apr 2014

Jrazz♀ 31349Member # 31349

Posted: 10:41 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014

I'm glad to hear about the testing H&L. I didn't want to contribute to your anxiety, and I'm hoping that you have nothing to worry about. Just want you to be safe and to take care of yourself. You deserve so much more.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 10:43 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]

"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23912 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California

Commanche1♂ 39692Member # 39692

Posted: 11:15 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014

HurtingandLost, the OM threw a grenade in your lunch pail, Bucking the trend here but when in the boxing ring you get punched then you counter punch. you should never have a friend or an enemy that you did not pay back

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jun 2013

steppingup♂ 42650Member # 42650

Posted: 11:27 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014

My cake eating WW got the first batch of "THE SHIT GETS REAL" when I told her the other day that I was happy to be without her and she could just get out. The cake eaters only respond to, "you are not the prize, get out"....

STEP (BS) - too many DDays, TT and non-disclosure continue - WW is considering chasing her dreams with D or R.
"Cheating is so rampant it has become a sign of how mentally unwell and immature our society is".