Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Okay, the poll is closed, and I am glad we are 42% to wake up grateful for what we have, and another 42% to have a different attitude depending on the day!What is most comforting is that only 1% wake up wishing the day will go by fast, and the great news is that no one said they wake up depressed. So you got it, we all try to take the best of life and not thing of the bad, and that’s just GREAT!

I need your help with this one. In a month; I will be celebrating with my mister the verySpecial day we vowed to live happily ever after…That day was really special and unusual as we thought we would better make it our own.There were no guests, just us. We made it a private pact and surprised everyone!

Anyway, I have no idea as what to do for this first anniversary, so if you can help meWith some suggestions I will be more than thankful.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Leila is 16 years old. Leila is Moroccan. She lives with her parents and four older brothers in a nasty neighborhood outside the Casablanca city.

Her parents moved from their village to the city for a better opportunity. Her father works as a clerk and her mothers is a housecleaner. All of her brothers didn’t finish school and after struggling to find and keep jobs, they have given up. They spend their days sleeping and their nights smoking hashish on the alley at the entrance of the neighborhood.

Leila however, wasn’t given the right to go to school even though she is a smart girl. Girls’ place, as her father and brothers persist, is at home, not in schools and most important not in the streets. They believe that sending a girl to school and spending money on her education is just a waste because soon she will get married and depend on her husband. Her purpose in life isn’t to study and work but take care of her husband and family.

Leila has beautiful brown eyes and long silky dark hair, so it was only natural that her father and brothers forced her to put a veil when she was only twelve.

Her days, Leila spends them cooking, sowing and cleaning after her brothers. She isn’t allowed to step outside by herself. The only time she goes out is when she accompanies her mother to the market on Friday.

When there is no one home, her older brother Youssef rapes her, paying attention though not to ruin her virginity, because without that she will never find a husband.

Leila is very unhappy and cant wait for the day a man will ask to marry her so that she can leave her parents house and have a home of her own.

Then, a man, 20 years her oldest comes to her father asking to marry his daughter. He offered two gold necklaces and a bracelet and the deal was closed. Leila wasn’t allowed to see her fiancé before the wedding night but she was so happy as her mother and aunts were preparing her for the wedding. Pictures of a nice house and a kind husband were flying over her mind.As the night was over and the guests left the wedding scene, Leila got to see her husband for the first time. He looked old but she only hoped he would be nice to her. He made love to her forcefully that night.

The next morning she woke up to discover that she was the third wife of her husband, that the house was full with kids from his previous marriages. And from that day she would be the house cleaner, the baby sitter and the servant of his two wives. At night she couldn’t rest because she had to feed her husband, massage his feet, and satisfy his sexual needs. If she dared to complain or rebel, she would be tied and beaten savagely.

She wasn’t allowed to visit her parents but her mother came to see her once a month. And when she tried to complain to her, her mother would say that this is how marriages are everywhere and that she should cherish the opportunity she has.

But Leila cannot take anymore, she wonders why is her life meant to be so miserable, she wonders how the women she sees on television on European channels manage to be so beautiful and so joyful. She wishes if she was a boy.

Then, one day, Leila kills herself; she drinks a full bottle of rat pesticide and ends it.

( Leila is not a real name, because it is not only the story of one girl, but of many who are suppressed by religious views, male domination, and unstructured laws who still don’t give women their rights, we are not yet free as long as girls as Leila are being persecuted by the society, even when this society is one that we don’t live in)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

To feel truly content, you will only need to make someone else happy and do it with all your heart.

Karma.

I believe karma works.

I have had my best days when I smiled to someone in the street. When I didn’t forget to offer some of what I have prepared for dinner with my neighbor. When I take time to listen to someone who wants to get things out of their chest. When I brought a basket of food to church. When I donated clothes I love but yet never wear. When I did something I truly hate doing for my mister not forcefully. When I give my friends little gifts, calls, cards, for no reason, just to say that they mean a lot to me…

Whether it’s time, food, clothes, energy…or whatever it is that you can somebody give, willingly, someone always will give you something unexpectedly in return, be it just a smile, a thank you. The feeling of happiness you get from knowing that you have maybe made someone’s day, or at least tried to, is so powerful.

It is common for us to think that because people will not give us unless we ask them, we shouldn’t give neither. But why? Aren’t we supposed to do unto others, as we want them to do unto us? Why not make the first move without expecting anything in return. Do it just for your personal contentment.

I know people of great generosity and tolerance, who go out of their way to help others. They don’t have much. But as little as they have, they strive to share it. They care. They believe in others. They always remember those who most of us forget about. And thus they always are remembered.

For instance, yesterday my Grandmother, she was so generous, in the winter, she wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that someone is sleeping in the streets, freezing. She knew she couldn’t help everybody, but everyday she tried to help one person. “If each person, in every Single Street, town, country helped one person a day, we would all be helping the world,” she would say.

It has been eight years now that she passed away, and the people she helped still remember her anniversary and pray for her. Many of them have become fortunate, and didn’t forget how someone helped them. So they go out and try to help.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Love is beautiful. Love is powerful. Love is majestic. Love is easily hard, tough. We all look for love. We all don’t understand what is it, how is it, but we all want love.

As a very proud woman (I would never want to be a man) I have to say that it is not always easy for a man to keep up with his woman.

The truth is we can be very hard to satisfy sometimes, we think and analyze too much and we tend to get hurt easily. Sometimes, we, ourselves have no idea what we want…then how can our poor men identify what is it that makes us happy. And we have to admit it, we are predisposed to complain, we are moody as much as we can, and we can be pretty manipulative. I am not saying we all are impossible. But a large number of us WOMEN is.

So for the luckiest whiners who like me happen to find a man that keeps trying to calm, entertain, love, befriend, support, understand, cuddle… A man who knows all your imperfections, your weakness, your undercover faces and still stands by you… A man who doesn’t make you worry, who loves to see you smile, who shakes if you ache, calls you partner, princess, best friend, sister, mom… A man, who cries in front of you, opens up to you, relies on you, respects you and cares for you. A man who tells you that the sky is your limit, who sets you free because he knows that your heart is his and trusts you. A man who looks at you sometimes as if he never saw you before. A man who is still able to surprise you. A man who avoids conflicts with you as much as he can, and would rather worry alone than see you sad.

A man like that is not perfect. He too has some very bad habits that would probably make you want to scream. He farts, yells, and forgets to clean the bathroom after his shower battle. He doesn’t help cleaning and complain that the house isn’t clean enough. Doesn’t cook but thinks the steak is overcooked. Doesn’t know about fashion but claims your outfit isn’t appropriate. Doesn’t care that “ Sexy and the city”, ‘ desperate housewives” treat serious social issues, and believes football and baseball are serious matters…

But you know what? It is better this way, that we are both imperfect. That we stick to each other, love each other to the point where each imperfection becomes an object of affection and desire.

So for all those, men and women, who are still able to love, still willing to love, still looking for love, I say BRAVO! Keep up the good work.

I have never enjoyed Sundays!!!! that is just the way it is. I love Fridays, Tuesdays, even Mondays but not Sundays. to me they are synonymous with naps, laundry, homework, television... They are kind of passive days, and i just don't enjoy anything that is passive!

so, i was thinking, that starting next week, I am going to make my Sundays more interesting, and i am well determined, except for one detail, I have no idea how???

Well, I was thinking that going out for a brunch could be a good start. Then I could probably go for a walk, come back home, make it look clean ( I have to) and do something that enjoy; read a book, watch a comedy, write, cook some pastry.... OH, talking about pastry, I am so happy the holidays season is coming, i love making cookies and the smell it disperses in my house, it makes it feel like home, as in my parents house...mmhhhmm...

Anyway, Today is Sunday, I am feeling so sleepy....so I will go for a nap....

Saturday, September 20, 2008

So, I am Glad to say that after 7 years, I am ready, willing and close to quiting! Smoking of course!I started when I was 17, I thought it was cool at that age, so I had asked our driver to teach me, and I would smoke on the way home on the to school, until I finally was able to smoke all the time....To tell you the truth, I have always loved smoking, it was just fun...when you are waiting for someone and they are late, you can just light up your cigarette and smoke! and there are moments when you can really enjoy it, like after an interview, a long flight, a happy meal, a happy ****! You can also socialize very easily when you smoke, people come to you asking for a lighter, and if you wanna talk to someone really bad, you can just pretend that you are asking them if they smoke because you don't seem to find your FIRE!!!That is, I have always enjoyed it, until now. Now, I can easily tell that I do not smoke because I like, but more because I am addicted to it. And I hate being addicted to anything but food and shoes!So, I asked my sister to give me the number of a guy who by a way, that I cannot describe, identify or anything yet, makes you quit. She said that he only spoke to her for few minutes and she didn't wanna smoke anymore, It has been 6 months now that she is off the cigarettes, knowing that she was a successful smoker for more than 10 years!!! So I got my appointment too, and I am taking my man with me too so he might quit as well, on October 11Th. Until then, I am enjoying my last smokes, have ash tree smell in my hair, clothes, hand and mouth, continue making the Marlboro company richer by spending my money carelessly...I will provide you with more details once I get there and see what he is gonna do.But, bottom line, I am very happy I will quit.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Well, I am turning to you for this one. I am looking for a job, a marketing job. Simple, Hein?!Yet, my researches show the opposite. No, it is not so simple, I would say it is almost as hard as finding a good husband.All I keep finding is marketing positions that only relate to marketing by its name. And of course, the famous sales jobs to whom any candidate is perfect.There was this day when I went on an interview at what I thought was a forward moving company, only to be interviewed by a finance manager who has no idea what the job he is interviewing me for is about. After a while of small chit-chat, he confesses to me that in fact they needed a sales person paid on commission, but people wouldn’t apply so they changed to ad from sales to marketing. I was so frustrated. Me? The successful market researcher who worked with the two biggest energy companies in North Africa belittled to an entry-level sales role!My pride, my ego, my whole was aching…but I got over it of course…and kept on looking….Thank God I am one of those positive attitude thinkers… Otherwise, I guess I would have settled for less long time ago.I am passionate about my field of expertise, I know what I can do and how much value I can bring, so I will just keep looking, I know that sooner or later, I will find something, and it is going to be worth the wait.However, there is one question in my mind, is it because the economy is so bad or is it because networking (my network is closer to 0 in Boston) works most?Anyway, wish me good luck!

Welcome to Evatitude, I am just 'une femme actuelle', I love life most of the time, I hate it sometime, I like to write it at all times... I have a special passion for words....To me each one is a powerful weapon...Then it is up to you how do you want to use it... It almost always depends on your mood, your words are a reflection of your attitude today, tomorow, everyday....That's simply my attitude towards it, what's yours...?