Liberating the masses from capitalist oppression has just become easier with an addition of a new revolutionary group of people who sound like they're workers, except they're not. Meet the twerkers!

The working class can no longer be trusted to carry out the revolution, as it has grown too comfortable enjoying the fruits of capitalism.

Instead, a new coalition of the disgruntled was created - based on sexual and color preference, immigration visa status, government benefits, union wages, and the degree of peacefulness of their religion. Unfortunately for the revolution, these groups have different interests and always end up pulling the blanket of collective struggle towards themselves.

Twerkers are different.

They bring everyone's interest down to the lowest common denominator, which is shared by all regardless of language, religion or color, as they shake down the chains of bourgeois conventions with the gyrating thrust of lower fleshy extremities.

The very word, "twerker," is also ideal for the recycling of existing worker-oriented slogans, flyers, posters, and even songs, which has the potential of attracting a new generation of rebels by merely tweaking two letters with a pencil or a marker.

Consider these classics: "Come all of you twerkers who twerk night and day," "Twerking class hero," or even "I've been twerking on the railroad."

The tired names of the older revolutionary parties can be sexed up accordingly: Twerkers World Party, Twerking Families Party, or Socialist Twerkers. A new mass appeal of the party press organs can also be attained by changing their titles: Twerkers World, Daily Twerker, Socialist Twerker, and so on.

Now that the twerking masses have been endorsed by the progressive media and celebrities, it's time for an international twerking conference, where they can form an official Twerkers Party and announce their demands to the world in a sizzling Manifesto. ~

MANIFESTO OF THE WORLD TWERKERS PARTY

A specter is haunting the world - the specter of young and powerful gluteus maximus. Rump is the new Red. All the reactionary forces have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this frightful specter. A time has come to confront the great Rump Scare with a Twerkers Manifesto.

The history of all hitherto existing societies is the history of class struggles between the oppressor and the oppressed, who stood in constant opposition to one another, exposing their behinds as a symbol of contempt and rebellion. This persistent, now hidden, now open, mooning has almost always resulted in a revolutionary reconstitution of society at large.

Throughout the Industrial Revolution, corporate types were mooning the feudal lords until the aristocracy couldn't take it anymore and the feudal society disbanded itself. The new corporate epoch has simplified the class structure, leading to a modern-day standoff between the two groups directly mooning each other: the corporations and the twerkers.

With corporate globalization, the ever increasing productivity of labor and the outsourcing of jobs to non-unionized countries has diminished the need for workers, giving rise to a leisurely underclass of twerkers.

They started as an incoherent, scattered mass, now and then mooning the corporations as a means of spontaneous self-expression. But as government regulations, taxation, and union pressures continued to drive the jobs out of the country, followed by necessary subsidies and entitlements for the non-working masses, twerkers began to replace workers in the society at an ever increasing pace. Once their concentration reached a tipping point, twerkers began to club together, organize, and seek greater publicity. Their strength grew, and with every new media exposure they felt that strength more.

Today the twerking class is growing at an unprecedented level. The more the Obama administration expands the government, the less space is left for the middle class, which sinks straight into the twerking underclass. The greater the education reforms, the more college graduates join the twerkers right after they get their diplomas, bringing with them fresh trends and ideas.

Together they form the 99%, engaging in a systematic mooning of the corporations. In contrast, the corporate types have shrunk in numbers and became the One-Percenters. Some of them still continue to moon the 99% by force of habit, but they do it rather anemically and without enthusiasm.

The history is repeating itself, only now the thing that destroyed feudalism is turned against the corporations. Like the sorcerer who can no longer control the powers of the netherworld he has called up by his spells, corporations can no longer control the behavior of international twerking classes that grew out of capitalist prosperity.

Here and there twerkers may still suffer defeat at the hands of those who are trying to turn back history. But the rump of the cultural revolution ever rises up again, stronger, firmer, mightier. One can't defeat a movement that has no stated goals apart from public exposure.

Social media, which corporations created for their own benefit, is now used mostly to connect twerkers with one another, helping to organize a national mooning standoff more efficiently than the erstwhile workers' organizers could ever do with their miserable rotary-dial phones.

Finally, when the mooning standoff nears the decisive hour and the society begins to disintegrate, a section of the ruling class cuts itself adrift and joins the twerkers who, they realize, will own the future. With them, come the ideologists who use the twerkers' political supremacy to gradually wrest all capital from the corporations and to centralize all spheres of life in the hands of the State.

A government of the twerkers, by the twerkers, and for the twerkers is created - a system in which the State is left alone to grow so that it can ensure more perfect twerking conditions.

All the preceding classes that got the upper hand, sought to fortify their status by subjecting the society to their culture. The twerkers have no culture to secure; their mission is to destroy the existing culture - and to hand the wreckage over to the ones promising them a twerkers' paradise.

The twerkers do not conceal their tools and methods. They openly declare that their rear ends will overthrow existing social conditions. Let the reactionaries tremble at their collective rump. The twerkers have nothing to lose, but they have a world to win.

On another note, the above article didn't cover the contributions of the National Socialist German Twerkers' Party, but that's a whole different story. Besides, their pictures are mostly unavailable, and the ones I could find were extremely unappealing.

Gotta get these past lyrics I've been saving into the shredder and delete the Youtube bookmark FAST. There is no telling what these female behemoths could do to me if they found out about this. Nothing to see here folks now move along, move along.

Keep it down, keep it down! If these twerkers get wind that you and I still have platform shoes and still slap on the Hai Karate aftershave before busting a few moves on the People's Disco dance floor, they're going to soon want to include us in the 'cheek to cheek' action. Being bounced around like a human pinata between a bunch of sweaty buns while the Bee Gees are blaring, "Staying alive, Staying alive" is not something I wish to a part of!!! So if asked what music we like remember comrade the word is 'polka'.

Moochele in her younger days demonstrated her prototype plans for the "let's move" program at the end of this cinematographical...a glorious perspective into the past and the future...And speaking of Mooch, how about that GLOBALization? Pretty cheeky of her, no?

Good job Tovarichi, that will throw them off the scent. I'd pass ya some discount coupons to the People's shoe store but I had given them out already to these two....... but don't worry an extra vodka ration coupon for you is in the mail.

Think of what you're sayingYou can get it wrong and still you think that it's alrightThink of what I'm sayingWe can twerk it out and get it straight, or say good nightWe can twerk it outWe can twerk it out

They say that the payoff for twerking hard is a rewarding life. The Marie Claire article is proof positive. And who knows, if the Obama's consider "generosity" another word for "sharing the wealth," then Reggie Love may be a beneficiary of all of this hard twerking.

Comrade cat of cast-iron cranium, at my age, kindergarten was taught using paintings on cave walls, I missed the movies that our interwebs provide to youth with Obamaphones.Ah, true, I did not think before writing. I cry you mercy. (I would tug my forelock, but I have no forelock, and helmet would interfere if I did.) I myself grew up among peasants and workers of South Bronx, where youngsters learned such information, and much more mis- and disinformation, amid giggling in schoolyard.

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand