Ben Kahn
Emre Koyuncu
English 106
22 February 2012
Cover Letter
I did many things to revise my essay on Timothy Treadwell. Overall the essay was
already pretty good. There were just a few bigger things that needed to be revised. First I
changed my thesis statement. I my original essay I forgot to include one of my main points in the
thesis. In the essay I talked about Treadwell's need to escape from relationship problems. I added
this to my thesis so it would encompass all of my topic sentences. Other changes I made were
fixing my works cited page as well as changing some in text citations. I had forgotten to add the
page numbers for some of the citations. All the other revisions were minor changes. I went
through improved sentences that were worded badly. I also had a lot of tense issues, so I
corrected all of those errors as well. All of these changes really cleaned up my essay.
My photo essay was already pretty good. There were only two major changes I needed to
make. One was adding a interesting title to the project. I did that by adding a creative alliteration
"Surviving the Cramped Quarters of Cary Quad". The other thing I needed to do was make all of
the canvases that same size. But I'm not that greatest at Photoshop and I'll the pictures were
different orientations. I kept trying to make the pages look good with the photos that I had, but I
couldn't get it to work. Therefore I didn't revise this aspect of my photo story. I did minor this to
help clean up the rest of the project. By improving captions as well as correcting grammar errors
in my paragraphs, I think my project is much improved.