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‘Adult modelling’ definitely not a worry-free line of work

A young college student may imagine online "adult modelling" is an easy way to quick cash but the images can remain in the digital realm forever, even end up on porn sites. (BAY ISMOYO / AFP/GETTY IMAGES)

I’m a college senior whose parents now provide for me financially. However, I’d like to earn and save some money for after I graduate, when they cannot support me.

I have well-managed depression and anxiety, but I worry about money.

I’ve read that a great, safe way to make a lot of money is through “adult modelling” on the Internet. I’m intrigued: make big money quickly, choose my own hours, not endanger my physical safety. I can choose the activities to be involved in … yet I still feel unsure about it.

I’m worried about my parents, friends, family or future employers finding out. I don’t want to be judged.

For someone who needs to manage anxiety and depression, this is not a worry-free field.

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You wrote “adult modelling” in quotes because you already realize it means posing nude. Once on the Internet, those photos (and possibly videos) will always exist and can always be found. And will be.

As for being able to choose your activities in a megabucks industry where modelling blurs into soft porn, trust your own instinct that you can’t be sure of having this control.

I suspect your financial concerns are part of your general tendency toward anxiety. You should discuss this with the professionals who help you stay “well managed” and with your parents, who care.

They’ve supported you, so as to help you graduate with the ability to start earning in a field in which you can stay and grow, upgrade and develop further.

A solid education takes time, so I understand your impatience to be independent. But I doubt that adult modelling is a comfortable career for you to bank on.

I’m twice divorced, twice financially bankrupt, but have remained hopeful in life.

After my second divorce, I remained single and didn’t date for many years so that I could heal and move on. Also, I have five grown children whom I raised as a single parent and provided for well. I also lost my employment and had to exhaust my savings.

I’m often insecure in the relationship because I discovered that he loves nothing more than his money and reminds me frequently that I have very little money.

I really care for and can see myself with him in the future. However, he’s repeatedly made comments that I find uncomfortable, even after I expressed my feelings. He recently joked about me being his concubine.

I reminded him that the house where he spends a lot of his time, and the things in it, which he enjoys, I paid for through education and hard work.

Am I being overly sensitive? I’m not desperate for a partner, but I’d love a man who can see past dollars and cents.

I’m very troubled to move further with this relationship although we enjoy and complement each other in many ways.

You forgot to add, “except in showing me respect for my value as a person.”

You’ve already seen the signs. Even in the dating stage, he’s given to putting you down and ignoring your feelings.

You may still own the house, but clearly he’s aware and uncomfortable that he has to provide ongoing financial support to this relationship.

Having raised five kids, you surely know that basic character traits don’t change much in mature adults. “He loves nothing more than his money” is both a true fact and a prediction. Move on and protect your self-respect.

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