Sunday, 27 October 2013

I've been catching up on all of the early Marvel Now stuff recently. I have to admit going in I didn't hold out much hope for the quality of Avengers Assemble as a title. A line-up to match the movie line-up? It felt a little too much like an attempted merchandising ploy to me. The first chunk of the first arc did little to convince me otherwise either. I mean interplay between the characters is Bendis bread and butter - but Zodiac versus the Avengers? Really? Thor against a dude with the power of a goat? Hulk against a dude who does whatever a crab can? I was somewhat underwhelmed.

Then came Avengers Assemble #7.

This issue was custom built for the good folks here at YouAreComic.

First up it's got Thanos. Let me tell you folks, if you put Thanos in your book - I'm buying it. I don't care who else is in it - I don't care what the hell it's about. It could be about some sweaty, vine-swinging long-haired freak in a loin-cloth and his pet kitty cat. Stick Ol' Purple Puss in it somewhere and you've got yourself a sale. Ask Mark Waid - he'll tell you!

Avengers Assemble #7 goes one better though. It not only has Thanos. It has Thanos toting a cosmic cube! I love cosmic cubes. Provided they're not wielded by the Red 'Let's recreate yet another wacky version of Nazi Germany!!' Skull or turning into the mullet-sporting Beyonder those things are awesome.

Much like this scene which occurs exactly one page into this issue:

Why Thanos, is that a cosmic cube in your pocket or are you just pleased to see us?

The Stranger, the Elders of the Universe and the In-Betweener - oh my! I don't think we've seen a cosmic congregation quite as awesome as this since Jim Starlin was bending our minds with his various Infinity whosits and whatsits.

In true Thanos meets the cosmic heavy-weights tradition a split second after they arrived he's disintegrating their omnipotent asses with some cosmic cubey goodness. That's just good freaking comic-booking folks! Drink it in.

While you're drinking it in I'll point to another reason why Avenger Assemble #7 does the biz. Well actually it's six reasons...or to be more precise four reasons, a raccoon and a giant tree.

That's right people, this issue has a guest appearance by the Guardians of the Galaxy! I mean of course the new version of GotG - the motley crew led by Peter 'Starlord' Quill/ Y'know those guys who are soon to be brought to life on the silver screen through the medium of Vin Diesel on stilts!

I don't know what it is about these guys but every time they show up it's awesome. It doesn't matter what book or what creative team we're talking about -when Pete and the boys...and girl..and raccoon...and tree show up it's a blast. It's like the team dynamic originally set-up between these guys by Abnett & Lanning was so good that now they're bullet-proof. To creative team changes, to status quo changes, you name it - these guys remain awesome no matter what.

Check it out:

The characterisation and the interplay between these guys is always pitch perfect. When they put in an appearance it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Y'know what I mean? No? Seriously?

It can't just be me can it?

How can you not love the earnest, humble and somewhat makeshift leadership of Starlord? The sword-swinging, thigh-flashing, high-kicking acrobatics of the deadliest woman in the universe Gamora. The stabby-stabby, punchy-punchy, shouty-shouty of Drax the Destroyer and the license-retaining antics of Bug (from the frickin' Micronauts for pete's sake)?

C'mon you soul-less robots there's a laser-gun packing, smack-talking alien raccoon for cyring out loud! What's with you people?

Fine, if all that doesn't convince you, behold Groot:

Ah Groot. Everyone loves Groot. There's not even a question. A giant, walking, anthropomorphic tree, salvaged from the classic monster tales from back in Marvel's pre-spandex days? His best bud is the aforementioned bad-ass alien raccoon? He can only say 'I Am Groot'. What's not to love?

Ah, that's better, glad we're back on the same page. No-one can resist the allure of Groot.

Sadly in this issue Groot remains a sapling throughout. However in the next issue all the Groot fans in the audience are rewarded mightily for our patience:

He Is Groot.

So, there you have it. Avengers Assemble #7 - a tour de-force in comic-bookery. It's proof positive even a blatant, money-hungry corporate merchandising ploy can still be awesome if it's got a giant fighting tree and his raccoon buddy!

Friday, 25 October 2013

It's typical the one night he leaves his post at the Nexus Of All Realities to nip down to the Citrusville Arms for a few dozen beers is the self-same night the Macabre Man-Thing runs into the one dreaded enemy even he cannot conquer...

...Stairs.

Geez Manny, that's lame. Even the Daleks figured a way around that one.

(Today's ambulatory assholery was brought to you by Steve Gerber's classic Giant Size Man-Thing #5 wherein a crazy witch chick and her cult attempt to burn an stab a little baby in her downtown Citrusville apartment while the Man-Thing is down in the lobby trying to figure out how to work the elevator.)