Ok...so here's the sad part of my life...my weight...ugggh...as you all know and read before how much I had gained during the third trimester, the "grand total" was..."drum roll" 50 pounds....yeah u heard me...50 pounds on my poor 5'4 and 115 pound body :(

So am working harrrd on it with walk and cutting down junk and have gone to minus 25 pounds...25 more to go....phew!

There's nothing much goin on in life except Rayyan...he does not sleep well and doesnt eat well at times...we have tried dream feeding him but apparently he's too small for that so we try to stuff him but he eats only as much as "he" wants so...that's hardly 1-1.5 oz for now...

My mom has bin a biiig help through out i dunno what would I have done without her as I am not breastfeeding cos Rayyan dint suck much and slowly and gradually milk just dried up....I used pumps but Rayyan dint like mommy milk much cos he had already been used to formula for 10 days at the hospital :(

I was already so upset about not being able to breastfeed and along came people's comments about how I was unable to breastfeed and how I was taking the easy way out by formual feeding...it hurt sooo much and I cried a lot thinking I was a bad mother for not taking care of myself or my baby in the first place and now this!

But Alhamdulilah my loved ones supported me and friends helped a LOT...and those days are far behind :) So all you mommies, breast or bottle...Be Proud! :D

The docs instructed us that we could not take Rayyan out to public places and not much people could come to visit us because of high probabilty of germs and virals because Rayyan is still small and has weak immune system...but today we went out for a quick dinner and yes Rayyan enjoyed it :)

my small baby...sooo tiny...people keep telling he's the tiniest baby they have seen...this tiny baby is my special baby...miracle & the love of my life! We are working on his health now as he has gone down from 2.4 kg to 2.2 kilos :(

Ok Ok I know I officially suck at blogging! But who can blame me newborn, preterm baby to look after...quite tough time! But now things are Alhamdulilah settled soooo m BACK...lets see for how long ;)

Rayyan is offcially 4 months now...I cant believe it...where did the time go..? Anyhoo to cut the long story short...once again Iam here 2 restart where I left...so lets start from the day we got Rayyan home after his stay bcos of jaundice...

August 11, 2008

Got Raeyaan home and he had his first appointment with the doctor. Doctor said he might have mild jaundice and yes he has gone from his weight to 2.2 kg only :(

Made me so sad when they pricked him and took out blood to do the jaundice tests... anyhoo, was sitting at home late night got a call from the hospital that Rayyan has high jaundice and has to be admitted in the hospital for photo therapy!

My heart skipped a beat...the same feeling when my water bag had burst!

Rushed to the ER once again where after one hour of formalities they admitted him and us in the hospital...he was not only pricked...all clothes taken off and put in the incubator under the light...he cried like hell...he was just 10 days old and premature...too small & fragile to even take the pain of one prick let alone so may injections...he cried non stop for 2 hours...I went out of the room and left him with my mom and DH, I just couldn't see him crying...when nothing was in my hands and I couldn't calm him down!

When i came back he had fallen asleep...my heart felt sooo heavy whenever he cried that night...I jumped up...couldn't sleep all night!

The next day was much better...he slept well and fed well...cried less, too.

After almost 2 days he has been discharged cos his jaundice is back to normal...Alhamdulilah! I hope there are no more painful trips to the hospital...!

August 3, 2008

Bubba Rayaan could not wait anymore...he just HAD to come out and see the world & meet his mommy & daddy! :P

It was Saturday morning 4am in the morning, DH was returning after an official trip...I was waiting patiently for him to come home after 3 long days. I laid on the sofa and suddenly...there was a gush of water, warm liquid gushed out and trickled down all over the sofa! I jumped up and the first thought that came in my mind was "MY BABY!" .....by this time my heart was literally thumping like mad, picked up the phone to call my husband and I just couldn't dial the number was shaking so bad!

Called him up and told him my water bag had burst...Silence...he was quiet for a few seconds and then he said "Iam on my way home in 10 mins..." his voice was dead......those 10 minutes were the longest ever of my entire life! I rushed here & there, changed my clothes so that we could rush to the ER immediately...DH came and we were out, throughout the journey kept praying that my baby was fine, reached hospital at 4:30 am and was taken to the ER on a wheel chair.

My doctor came asap and baby's heartbeat and movement was checked, doctor confirmed my most dreaded thoughts...my water bag had burst and HAD to deliver ASAP...baby was in distress but thank God his heartbeat got to normal soon. Lying there on the bed I looked at my husband and his face was blank...my doctor consoled us that 35 weeks was not that early and the baby will be fine.

Soon enough there were nurses all around me, my blood and urnine samples taken, oxygen mask given to me...another bad news soon came in...I had urine infection and it was REALLY high...Now there was no way out...my baby was in danger with the water bag now leaking he was open to the infection!

Soon enough i was being taken for ultrascan and I prayed to Allah...there he was, on the screen, moving...the blurry image made me cry, i felt like i was losing him...after a long wait and so many dreams I just did not want to lose my little miracle! The radiologist said the baby is healthy according to his gestational age and is 35 weeks old...but ofcourse he was tiny and smaller than full term babies...

Later that afternoon doctor told me i was going to be induced and had to deliver very soon...dh & we were so worried...but our faith was in Allah and only HE was our last resort...only HE could do miracles!

My so called normal pregnancy which so many people envied was no longer normal! I had no diabetese, my bp was good, my hb was good, my baby was growing healthy, i had no heartburn, no constipation, had spd but it was also mild and doc said i had the perfect pregnancy...uptil now!

I had no contractions no signs of labour starting, my first induction came at 6am sunday, OUCH! no pains started...2nd induction...nothing! 3rd gave me light cramps and was 2.5 cm dilated...then 4th on monday 12 pm triggered harder cramping...that had to be my last one because i cud not go overdose!

2pm monday, had lunch because doc said i needed the energy to push later when contractions started...3 days, me & my baby were monitored closely, CTG every 4/5 hours, bp, temptrature,sugar levels, urine tested, antibiotics, salts and sugars needled through me plus steroids injected for baby's lung maturity. I felt punctured all over! Continously leaking fluids and blood..all night listening to the heartbeat and counting baby movements, praying for the courage, the patience and the strength to make it through...

Monday 6pm my contractions started, was rushed to the delivery room, the time had come, i was sweating...DH was tensed...i was told i could opt for epidural and/or just plain gas n air or a light sedative...i opted for nothing but soon enough i was screaming for epidural and even begged my husband i wanted a C-section!

Nurse calmed me down and consoled it will be all over soon, she injected me with a mild sedative...at 9:45 pm after 4 hours of painful contractions,I heard him cry...the nurse laid him on my chest and he squirmed around. I couldnt believe he was finally there...right infront of me...all red, white and so small...hardly 5 pounds!

I called my family 2 tell the good news as they were all so worried back home, I just could not take my eyes off my baby boy as they took him to the NICU...now he is home and has jaundice, every little squeak scares me and doc said i will have to work really hard with him...once again I pray to Allah for giving me strength to make it through!

July 18, 2008

Your baby has reached nearly five pounds this week and is almost 18 inches long! Your baby has bulked up like the average cantaloupe.

Hiya...My 34th week started today and am so happy that my Bubba is almost 5 pounds! He is putting on pounds and so is mommy...cant stop craving french fries, chocolate bars, chocolate glazed & fresh from the oven donuts, Baskin Robbin milkshake.Ooofh!

Bad, bad mommy!

I think he is till breech, his head has not engaged although he does feel further down below than the past weeks but not head down entirely...still waiting for that...

Apart from that, went to Mothercare the other day and saw this "lovely" moses basket in blue and cream, instantly fell in love with it...so cuuuute! I was wondering if it lookes so cute empty how adoreable would it look with a baby in it...awwwww!

And yesss how could I forget adding that the stage of swelling like a whale has finally arrived, it started late this week and my feet dont fit my shoes! My rings are all tight and I had to rub cream to take my bracelets off last night!

July 13, 2008

Visited the doctor yesterday for my spd pain and also to ask her why was I waddling like a duck, and she very sweetly replied (Ok...not so sweetly...!) that I may have stood for long hours or jumped up the stairs or walked faster than I should have...I said NO to all of these things and then she looked at my reports and pointed out the 'ugly but true' fact that I had put on 20 kgs...3 stone...44 pounds...Yikes!

Okay, looking at me I dont look like I have gained 3 stone except the bum and tum part! But it really came as a shock that I had piled up so many pounds in a matter of weeks!

July 11, 2008

Your baby is proportioned like a pineapple when it comes to weight -- a little over 4 pounds. (Length: more than 17 inches, head to heel.)

Only 49 more days to go...did YOU hear that...? 49 days...7 weeks...less than 2 months!!!!

Ahhh...now the countdown has begun although just when I thought my pregnancy was perfect, the joys of pregnancy are appearing one by one!(although I did vomit a LOT in the first trimester but my 2nd trimester was just wonderful!)

I have leg cramps are a norm now, getting out of bed is like...dont ask...I literally roll out of bed...it all started one sunny Sunday, my thighs and the pubic nerves wouldnt let me walk...climbing stairs is HELL...and now I have been told that I 'may' have pelvic girdle pain (PGP) also called symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD).

Noooooo...how am I supposed to walk? There is sooo much shopping to do, I have to set up the nursery and get so many things for my Bubba and Iam unable to walk from one room to another... I dont walk now I waddle like a duck!

Will be going to my doctor tomorrow insha Allah and ask her if there is ANY thing I can do to ease the pain....who said pregnancy was going to be easy!?!?!?!

This week your baby is close to the 4 pounds, 17 inches mark, so it pretty much makes sense that you feel massive.In the latest womb reports, your amazing baby has now developed sensitivity to temperature!Surprise! Your third trimester symptoms aren’t going away yet. (tell me something i dont know!). If you just got back from peeing, you already know that your bladder is nearing non-existent-land.

Yayyyy! I had my blood and urine tests yesterday and Alhamdulilah all is fine there, though the doctor did say I wasn't drinking enough water and asked me (ordered) to drink MORE water plus my hb was 13 when we started and it has fallen a bit and the doctor and my DH are not happy about it because i have a history of anaemia...I have to take more iron & leafy veggies and more meat...(ummmm!)

But the happiest news of the day is GTT was all fine...I dont have GD (gestational diabetes)...haaaaaa...! I was so scared, 'cos it runs in my family and I was also a heavy baby at birth...but thanks to Allah, my tests are all clear :)

July 2, 2008

Oh my God....Iam so itchy all over! And yesss the lovely stretch marks are here...finally! I was so proud that I didn't have single mark on my tummy and just yesterday I saw the badges of honour ;) heehee!

And don't even start me on the itching...my legs, my tum, my bum all over...I apply cocoa butter all over to get some soothness.

Just the other day DH was looking at me with a weird look on his face and I was like "what?" and he innocently asked why I was scratching like a cat!?! LOL

June 27, 2008

Hosted a dinner last night for friends and was tired of standing all day, cooked aalu qeema (minced chicken, with potatoes, bell pepper and chilli), haleem (pulses and chicken), chicken tandoori and zeera rice. For dessert I served Malai Kulfi with almonds and pistachio.

Dinner went fine and was fun but at night just as I was catching up on the missed episode of Desperate Housewives...there was severe and sudden tightening in my stomach. DH had already gone off to sleep...kind of ran upstairs to tell DH, I was in pain and by the time I reached our bedroom I was literally in tears! Not only was I in pain but was finding it hard to breathe. And my sweet Bubba was not making it any easier for mummy, at that very instant he started kicking my ribs and seemed as if he was putting pressure on my lungs!

DH woke up and got worried...I laid down and in 15 minutes felt a little better.

This week your not-so-little miracle is getting closer to the four pound mark and is now nearly 17 inches in length. The fat's still rolling in quite steadily and will continue to do so for the next weeks. And you're probably getting your first taste of Braxton-Hicks contractions now and then, but don't worry, they're false contractions.

Hmmm....Braxton-Hicks, I think I got my first taste of 'false contractions' last night...if those were false I just wonder how painful the real ones would be...?!?!? :(

June 21, 2008

At this point you can almost see the finish line and your little darling is getting chubbier every day. Right now they're a little over 15.5 inches in length and nearing 3 pound! You might be feeling a bit clumsy as pregnancy hormones have loosened your joints.

Yayyyyy! My baby is almost 3 pounds, almost size of a cabbage! Only 10 more weeks to fo IF I go upto full 40 weeks....cant wait!!! Bubba Rayaan is kickboxing inside mommy's tummy and his kicks are getting stronger day by day...masha Allah...

Wow what a week! DH had his meetings in Bahrain and so I tagged along with him...knowing that otherwise I will be stuck at home for the week and bored with all the pregnancy tiredness..so off we went!

It was niiice for a change, being pampered 5 star service, with a wonderful breakfast buffet...(I so needed that!) and the shopping! brought lots of stuff for my Bubba...mostly clothes ... I know it's about time I should start buying things 'apart' from clothes but cant help it...Just cant keep my hand off those cute blue outfits and the adoreable booties and the itsy bitsy shoes! Mommy shopped till she dropped!

Apart from baby shopping... how can I forget the Marble Slab Icecream..Yummmmmm...it is my latest indulgence...(after Baskin Robbins, ofcourse!)

Bahrain hasn't got much to offer, it's a small place but I really love the outlets there...being pregnant makes me feel a LOT more hungrier than usual, but my tatse buds yearn for good food...Bahrain definitely offers that! Maya La Chocolaterie in Seef Mall...one of a kind! Chocolat'...ummmm!

Gourmet Bakery....ahhhhhh....

Also tried barbq fish and chicken handi and LOVED "Nirvana" an Indian restaurant in Ritz Carlton hotel. Will put up more pictures asap!

June 15, 2008

So finally i get to see my doctor...she was in early and we rushed to meet her, although we had to wait for 3 hours!!!! But it was worth it...she said all is going fine in there, my hb is good, urine tests came clean and the baby is the right weight, masha Allah, the movement is also good!

ahhhh the relief of hearing it from the doctor! And she gave me the blood sugar test which i have to go for next week, hoping that goes smooooothly too...

Meanwhile my 29th week started and today is 29+2, to be exact...cant waiiiiiit...Rayaan also seems to be jumping inside, ready to meet mommy and daddy! :D

June 10, 2008

Uggggh!! I waited the whole last month for tomorrow..11th of June 2008 because I had appointment with my doc and now I have been told she is sick and has taken 2 weeks off...! And we are still not sure when can we get the next appointment with her because when she comes, then only will they let us know! Now i will have to rush to find another doctor because two weeks is quite long and then also am not sure when will she see me next and I have to have my blood sugar tested...so just called the hospital and got an apointment with another doctor for Thursday, 12th June...let's see how it goes....

Nothing big just small things like onesies and a few booties, though I couldn't take my eyes off the nurseries in mothercare and babies'R'us...but still waiting to get the big stuff. There's just so much out there too many brands, too many colors, too much confusion!Baby is fine Alhamdulilah...at times he is slow at times movements are frequent but overall good kicking masha Allah!

And growth wise my baby is the size of a cauliflower now, almost 2 pounds in weight and 14.5 inches long.

Can't wait for my next appointment because Iam going to have the blood sugar test and Iam kind of scared because diabetes runs in my family and so far I have managed to avoid it ... but now with all the weight gain am really worried... I have heard really scary stories about pregnancy and gestational diabetes...Anyhow keeping my fingers crossed.

okay....woke up early, literally jumped out the bed...! All excited to get ready to see my baby...while DH was completely normal and walked here and there casually... (men!)

Appointment was at 12 noon and we hurriedly rushed out 'cos were running late...reached hospital and sat on the couch waiting patiently while the waiting room was filled with women carrying babies, sitting next to me was a proud mum of twins! Simply adoreable just looking at them made me teary eyed...! Bliss!

Finally we were called and had my first scan...phew!

The doctor was really sweet and asked me if this was my first baby and if I knew what I was having...I had a gut feeling (people had been telling me and my hubby also thought) that I was having a girl...
Finally she squirted the jelly on my belly and the fun began It's a boy!

Those were her first words....uhhhh...couldn't believe it and then finally saw...he wasn't moving much but thank God all was well inside...touch wood!

A lot of medical terms we couldn't understand but as much as we could we did and the rest , we asked a LOT of questions and I recommend everyone to do that...the doctor was nice enough to answer and explain every single detail.

By the way my EDD also changed from Sept.3rd to August 29th 2008...ahhhh...can't hardly wait......!!!!!! XxxxxxX

June 7, 2008

Was dying to shop for my little Thumper so finally did a little shopping on and brought small tiny stuff from the mall...not much, just few newborn clothes, though kept close check on colors and designs 'cos we still didn't know what we're having, so only brought things in cream, mint and orange!

By this time it did seem just like yesterday I was puking all over the place, hated the sight of food and the next I was waiting for the bump to appear and eating like a horse, then I felt bubbles, butterflies and it was like a gold fish swimming in my tummy, stretch marks being a tension (they still are) and then I started craving strange foods and finally I felt my baby move inside of me...like a little mouse scurrying here and there sometimes a hard kick sometimes just a nudge....ahhhh...

still counting days, cant wait to hold the little bundle of joy!

Still seems like a long way to go...but am glad to know that my baby is now growing fast and is now equal to a 1 lb. bag of coffee beans!

I had now oficially named the baby in my tummy "Thumper" (for the time being) inspired by the cute lil rabbit from Bambi....he/she had surely begun to kick like Thumper!

Baby shopping is like being in a candy store, its the exact same happy feeling! With doll-sized clothes...the cribs and the moses basket, simply adoreable. When we got married my DH was not interested in kids so soon hence the long wait....And now finally when it was my time to shop, I was so confused what to buy, my first scan was in my 20th/22nd week so I did not know yet if it's a boy or a girl....at that point I just didnt care, I just wanted a healthy baby, boy or girl did NOT matter at al

I was really curious that how big is my baby, I kept searching and found 3 different answers....hmmm...by this time my baby was size of an Avacado and a few other vegetables and fruits (:P) apart from that I was really worried...kept dreaming strange dreams and woke up all tired and at times scared! I dreamt about misscarriages...or something being wrong with my pregnancy and it drove me crazzzzy...I really wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and relax a bit but I kept wondering "what ifs" and "buts..." lots of things crossed my mind...but I kept faith and moved on thinking positive thoughts and relaxing a bit.

Yipeeeeeeee....my vomits went down from 12 vomits a day to 10 to 6 to 4 to 2 and then to ONE....Finally the countdown ended...No nauseas and no vomit (except the single one, first thing in the morning) made me wanna "eaaaaaaat"

But still the second trimester definitely gave me back not all the energy I lost but atleast more than half of it is back.....Phew! Had a wedding in my family in April and I was kinda excited about it...to be frank...had mixed feelings, going to a wedding with a tummy that shows was definitely ummm....a shower of unwanted ADVICES, lots of suggestions and ofcourse all the weird questions you don't really want to answer...but still...looking forward to it, let's see how it goes. Now that my "sick period" was over thanks to God....now just could not wait for the first movement, the first scan....

After the initial vomit and nauseas phases, not to mention the diarrhea and sleepless nights, I had been craving things a LOT lately. I still couldnt sleep at night but due to different reasons all together! And then along comes my craving...The list was long and endless, now I couldnt keep on stocking and stuffing my fridge and pantry because I was not sure if I will crave that thing the next day or not...by the way I craved mashed potatoes, garlic bread, Russian salad, macaroni and cheese, scrambled eggs, steak and fruit salad with toppings...All At Once!At other times I would think about...(literally day dream) exotic dishes with prawns and crabs and grilled fish or lemon chicken with herbs, sheesh kebab, chicken manchurian, hot and sour soup with tossed salad, pinacolada, Krispy Kreme and chocolate mousse....Ugggggh....what to do...??

In the normal world that's okay BUT in the pregnant world, its a big no no...especially when you feel so much nausea!

The queasy feeling down in my tummy, I could feel it rumbling for an icecream sundae but sadly pregnancy had turned off my sweet tooth because sweet things made me feel even more nauseas than fried stuff!

Just the other day I saw 'Galaxy cake bar' in the mall and wanted to grab it, took it, brought it home, unwrapped it and .... don't ask! Felt nauseas the whole day... My poor poor sweet tooth!

I really was confused...one minute I was so hungry I could eat anything and the next I was so nauseaus that I began to hate food!Still....as everyone else told me, I hereby agree...14th week was DEFINITELY much better than the past coupla weeks.

All I was left with was morning sickness and once or twice a vomit per day with a little queasiness here n thereI hoped this morning sickness left behind is also taken away with the coming weeks...

As far as the baby was concerned...frankly I sometimes still couldnt believe that i was really pregnant, there was not much tummy showing yet, no movement as such...only gas, which people say MIGHT be the baby Yes i did have ALL the symptoms including vomitting, back pain, lethargy, weakness etc etc. But still I sat alone at times, in silence, waiting for a sign..any movements...a signal...from the life inside me to tell me "Mommy, am right here!!"Uhhh..until the life inside me proved his/her point by making his/her first move...atleast for the time being the unwanted "symptoms" are my so-called signals!

uhhh...my 2nd trimester and 4th month started but still morning sickness did not subside...ugggh! All day till noon i used to feel nausea and vomit atleast once or twice...until i filled up my stomach i kept feeling to throw up and finally when i ate or stuffed up, once again felt nauseated. Felt dizzy half day.

I used to love cooking but couldn't cook, the smells seemed sooo strrong...by now we had told our close friends we were expecting our first.

11 weeks and my second appointment with the doctor. Weight and bp checked again, normal, I still hadn't gained weight and was still vomitting a LOT...the doctor said it was normal, some women had more sickness then others and it was a sign the baby was growing healthily...what a sign!

My haemoglobin was 14, that was good but the urine test was not good, I had a mild UTI, which needed instant medication because urine infections are dangerous for the mother as well as the unborn baby if not properly treated, so I got pills which I had to take for 7 days and then re-do the urine test to be sure.

Then the doctor asked me to lay down and she had that doppler thingy in her hand and I prayed to God that we hear the heartbeat, because somewhere at the back of my mid I still couldn't believe I was expecting I kept telling myself I was sick and maybe too sick!

And there it was...an echo, then some rushing sound like waves or a heartbeat?!?! It was not very clear at first, it was more of 'noise' but then the doctor smiled and said; "that is your baby saying Hi mama and papa!" and at that moment I was all teary eyed and smiling at the same time, I couldn't believe that something a size of a fig, size just over 1.5 inches...something THAT small a size could have a heartbeat!! Truly Allah's miracle!

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A Little about Me...

Hey! Iam a social, vibrant, energetic stay at home mom-started this blog when I was expecting my first baby in 2008. Now our son, Rayyan is almost 4 masha Allah...phew! Time really flew by!! Re-started this blog again in November 2011.
Iam an expat living in Riyadh, my blog is about my love for food, shopping and travelling. Along with that, I share my life in the desert :)