lizzie asked me who i was and what i had done with her friend. i called her, at a rather unreasonable hour given where she lives, to inform her that i had endorphins.

it is silly to anyone who works out regularly…anyone who likes to work out…but for me it was a revelation slow in coming. despite my athletic youth (track and volleyball) i never did get that runner’s high. i never understood why people liked it. i did it as a means. my track coach wouldn’t let me do triple jump without it and my volleyball coach used it as training. while i liked to play i didn’t like what i saw as the work of it.

so after college – when i no longer had free access to a gym – i left working out far behind me.

in south africa it reemerged out of necessity. one of my schools was 12 kilometers away – the only sure way to get there (when i couldn’t get a hitch) was to walk. i remember when my family came to visit me they asked me if things were walking distance – to which my usual response was yet. finally they inquired if it was an american walking distance or a south african one.

alas – returning to the US and my car replaced my feet for most things. i joined a gym (vanity is a great weakness) but i never really saw myself there – vested in changing my lifestyle.

and so now here it is years later. the running joke with my friends is that i only run when chased…by things substantially larger than myself (like hippos…boy they saw me run that day, first person up the tree!). but last week i visited the YMCA. i realized that i need to move more and that because i’m lazy i need to be shamed by the thought of other people judging me if i quit mid-class. that i need to be pushed to best myself because ego is a great motivator.

and so this afternoon i took my free one day pass and took part in a cardio kick boxing class that kicked my…well…you know. but the instructor was encouraging. and while i sucked air like a three pack a day smoker, i tried to power through were i could. and after, i walked briskly on the treadmill for 20 minutes…it didn’t get me very far but i did it. and i was buzzed when i finished.

i can feel the soreness creeping in already…in the legs. the morning will bring the abs i’m sure. but that is the good hurt…the third day of two-a-days hurt. it’s been a while…but i’m trying to make this the start of something new…something better.