Yes, Innis and I are back for Mk3 – and this time, it’s personal (other misplaced film quotes are available)

It’s been one of the biggest events the last two years, but this year we’re simply striving to make it the best yet. Expect mischief, mirth, and mishaps, but most of all, expect it to be fun with a capital mildly intoxicated.

Doors will open to the upstairs room of the New Queen Victoria pub in Wolverton (same venue as previously) at 10:30am on Saturday 12th August, with the draw at 11am, and the games starting at 11:15.

It will cost you £16 to get in those doors, although preferably, you’ll have paid that in advance, and we won’t have to hire any door staff. These payments can be made via PayPal to Innis’ account - innis_carson@hotmail.co.uk – This is the same price as last year, and will also be the same price next year, barring enforced change of venue. However in 2018, if you entered in 2017, you’ll receive £1 off!

Things you will receive for this £16:

A minimum of 8 games of Countdown (barring disaster) - The format will be the same. 8 qualifying 9-rounders, 3 before lunch, 3 after, and 2 after a quick break, before a final to decide who will be the 3rd name on the Concrete Cow Cup. Which is still a shield. The 3 games before lunch will be done from a seeded draw based on the results of the last 2 years’ .co.mk - players will be assigned to pot A-D and one from each pot will be drawn to play against one another in a 4-person round robin. This does mean that those who haven’t turned up previously will be put into pot D, sorry about that, but I don't believe in seeding based on other events. You will potentially get a nicer draw next year though!

To get to relentlessly mock Innis on his birthday – yes, it’s his actual birthday! If anyone has any good ideas of how we can commemorate this, then please do let me know!

To visit the only event that has it’s own sound man – Jason Leslie is back and he’s ready to take the piss out of everybody (mainly me) once again!

The chance to win some cool prizes, both for good performances, and for other things across the day, including this year’s side competition, to be announced at a later point (it doesn’t involve Moles being stuck on the ceiling)

Your very own terrible personalised poem upon entry (on Facebook) – not entry to the actual building. I suspect poetry may have abandoned me by then.

And probably some other stuff I’ve forgotten about.

Other things you should know:

The venue is in Wolverton, which is one train stop on from Milton Keynes Central. There isn’t very much in Wolverton though, and people tend to go out on the Friday and Saturday in Milton Keynes itself, so if you’re planning on booking a hotel, I would advise doing so in the centre. There are several options, although Travelodge and Jury’s Inn tend to be the 2 that come out on top most often. Milton Keynes Central travels directly to and from lots of places, including London, Birmingham, Manchester and Edinburgh.

Food options are abundant both in MK and in Wolverton, however as our venue is a pub that has its own café – that is probably the most convenient – however order in advance, because they have a habit of being understaffed and making people wait.

There are a few parking options located in the immediate vicinity, or you can park in the Tesco car park, which stupidly haven’t put any rules in place about it. I would maybe condone buying at least a scratchcard from them though, so they don’t become inclined to put said rules in place for next year.

Wolverton returns are £20, but I can get a single to and from MK for £12.

Assume that is actually better for the way home as people will be in MK, but what about the morning bit, how would I get from MK to Wolverton, and what would it cost? Are there barriers at Wolverton or would I be fine just using my MK ticket and coughing up some "forgot to get off" story?

Wolverton returns are £20, but I can get a single to and from MK for £12.

Assume that is actually better for the way home as people will be in MK, but what about the morning bit, how would I get from MK to Wolverton, and what would it cost? Are there barriers at Wolverton or would I be fine just using my MK ticket and coughing up some "forgot to get off" story?

I am obviously going to distance myself from these heinous criminal insinuations. However if you are insistent on being no better than a murderer, then the last time I used that station there were no barriers - I haven't been there for probably some 7 years though - I can't guarantee this info is up to date.

Alternatively, those who conspire effectively could easily get a cab for 4 people and end up likely only spending about £1.50 each at that time of day.

Yes, Innis and I are back for Mk3 – and this time, it’s personal (other misplaced film quotes are available)

It’s been one of the biggest events the last two years, but this year we’re simply striving to make it the best yet. Expect mischief, mirth, and mishaps, but most of all, expect it to be fun with a capital mildly intoxicated.

Doors will open to the upstairs room of the New Queen Victoria pub in Wolverton (same venue as previously) at 10:30am on Saturday 12th August, with the draw at 11am, and the games starting at 11:15.

It will cost you £16 to get in those doors, although preferably, you’ll have paid that in advance, and we won’t have to hire any door staff. These payments can be made via PayPal to Innis’ account - innis_carson@hotmail.co.uk – This is the same price as last year, and will also be the same price next year, barring enforced change of venue. However in 2018, if you entered in 2017, you’ll receive £1 off!

Things you will receive for this £16:

A minimum of 8 games of Countdown (barring disaster) - The format will be the same. 8 qualifying 9-rounders, 3 before lunch, 3 after, and 2 after a quick break, before a final to decide who will be the 3rd name on the Concrete Cow Cup. Which is still a shield. The 3 games before lunch will be done from a seeded draw based on the results of the last 2 years’ .co.mk - players will be assigned to pot A-D and one from each pot will be drawn to play against one another in a 4-person round robin. This does mean that those who haven’t turned up previously will be put into pot D, sorry about that, but I don't believe in seeding based on other events. You will potentially get a nicer draw next year though!

To get to relentlessly mock Innis on his birthday – yes, it’s his actual birthday! If anyone has any good ideas of how we can commemorate this, then please do let me know!

To visit the only event that has it’s own sound man – Jason Leslie is back and he’s ready to take the piss out of everybody (mainly me) once again!

The chance to win some cool prizes, both for good performances, and for other things across the day, including this year’s side competition, to be announced at a later point (it doesn’t involve Moles being stuck on the ceiling)

Your very own terrible personalised poem upon entry (on Facebook) – not entry to the actual building. I suspect poetry may have abandoned me by then.

And probably some other stuff I’ve forgotten about.

Other things you should know:

The venue is in Wolverton, which is one train stop on from Milton Keynes Central. There isn’t very much in Wolverton though, and people tend to go out on the Friday and Saturday in Milton Keynes itself, so if you’re planning on booking a hotel, I would advise doing so in the centre. There are several options, although Travelodge and Jury’s Inn tend to be the 2 that come out on top most often. Milton Keynes Central travels directly to and from lots of places, including London, Birmingham, Manchester and Edinburgh.

Food options are abundant both in MK and in Wolverton, however as our venue is a pub that has its own café – that is probably the most convenient – however order in advance, because they have a habit of being understaffed and making people wait.

There are a few parking options located in the immediate vicinity, or you can park in the Tesco car park, which stupidly haven’t put any rules in place about it. I would maybe condone buying at least a scratchcard from them though, so they don’t become inclined to put said rules in place for next year.

One little thing I would say is that is was very difficult to follow the final from the audience, as it seemed to be played like a "normal" game with no announcements to the room of the declarations or the scores.

Haha. Can we know what the other games were? I was around for the start of the Height one.

I'll copy you my working notes - a few things were tweaked for timing or other purposes, but nothing was massively different.

Speed – One Pair of two cards must be turned over, then turned back before a new pair is turned over. When a pair is revealed, the cards must be picked up and put face down to the side. The fastest team will score 100 points – other teams will score 1 point less for every 2 seconds longer taken. If this is selected as the team challenge, then the players must go one at a time in a set order, and must complete the turn, including removing the cards in turns in order. Players will play one at a time, and the pairs will be shuffled before each turn. 1 point will be docked for each rule break.

Distance – Players will be given a single sheet of strong card. They must make something with the piece of card that can jump or spring forwards under direct vertical pressure. The device must go in the direction specified by the measuring apparatus being used. The device may not be made from anything else other than the card provided. No equipment will be provided to help make the device but other items may be sourced. Players will have 10 minutes to make the device. Each player will get 3 attempts to make their device jump, with the longest counting. The longest distance will score 100 points with other scores worked out proportionately. If this is made the team task, EACH player must operate a separate device at the measuring stage, with the scores averaged – and will ONLY be given 1 extra piece of card.

Nerve – Players will need to be prepared to get a few funny looks and possibly make a bit of a fool of themselves. Players have 15 minutes to complete 3 separate challenges. These are as follows:

1) Selfies – Players must get a selfie with 3 of the pub staff.

2) Texting – Players must text 3 different people “I love you” and get only that, or very similar as a response. Any embellishments such as “I love you too. Why?” or “I love you too, but are you drunk” will not count. They are allowed to text as many people as they like, but they must NOT give them any warning. These people should NOT be one of our present number.

3) Clothing – Players must borrow 3 separate items of clothing from 3 separate strangers. These may not be the same items of clothing. These items must be clothing items and not accessories such as necklaces or bracelets. I am happy to clarify whether something will or won’t count. Paired items must be delivered AS pairs.

Each of these tasks completed will earn 10 points per completion, making a total of 90 points. Anyone getting the full set will earn a bonus 10 points. If this is the team challenge for any team, then the team must collect 15 selfies, 15 text messages and 15 items of clothing between them, but they don’t have to be evenly distributed (i.e., one person can receive 15 “I love you” texts). They will earn 10 points for each set of 5 gained.

Tactics – Players will compete in a giant game of rock, paper, scissors. All 5 players will go on the same count with points scored for each winning combination. The game will go on until one team reaches a score of 20. That team will score 100 points, with other teams scoring 5 points for each score. If the team challenge is chosen, then the team may be discuss their tactics in advance, but after that may not speak, with one player coming forward each round. The others must turn their backs and so will not know what has happened each turn.

Accuracy – This will be the last task and will be worth the most points overall, but may well be considered more difficult to get them. A target with cutout holes will be placed at one end of a table. The larger holes will be assigned a smaller points value and vice versa. Players must bounce a ping pong ball off one table into the box on the other. They will have 10 attempts. If the team card is played, then each player will have 2 attempts. Whilst all the other tasks are worth a possible 100 points – this one is worth 500. It is also vastly easier to score 0 than in any other task though.

One little thing I would say is that is was very difficult to follow the final from the audience, as it seemed to be played like a "normal" game with no announcements to the room of the declarations or the scores.

But a very enjoyable event. Recommended. 5 stars.

Yep, that's our fault. The finalists had mics which we could tell were working, but that weren't reaching the back of the room - we thought you would be picking up the declarations back there. The scores not being read out were my fault as I was trying to work out the winners of some of the prizes at the same time as playing DC - will be worked on for next year

Haha thanks for typing all that out Z, sounds mental. How did it all go? Is there photos/information on the winning efforts on some of the relevant games, e.g. the high-glass one or the card-jump one? Great effort organising all that, I now understand what that weird massive drinks holder thing on the table at the pub was.

If the team challenge is chosen, then the team may be discuss their tactics in advance, but after that may not speak, with one player coming forward each round. The others must turn their backs and so will not know what has happened each turn.

Yeah, so, this didn't happen.

Eoin Monaghan wrote:
He may not be liked on here, but you have to give some credit to Mark

If the team challenge is chosen, then the team may be discuss their tactics in advance, but after that may not speak, with one player coming forward each round. The others must turn their backs and so will not know what has happened each turn.