On Paranoia

I think we can all agree that when you have your first child, it brings a new level of paranoia to your life. You spend nine months preparing, researching, reading, waiting…and then this little amazing thing is suddenly laying on your chest in the delivery room and it’s the most exhilarating, soulful thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. It hits you–I KNOW NOTHING. I hate to break it to you, but there is no adequate way to prepare for being a parent. Suddenly, you are responsible for a life that is not your own! With great power, comes great responsibility, right?

I bring this up because becoming responsible for another person’s life has made me one paranoid parent.Is she breathing? Is she happy? Does her tummy hurt? Does she know how loved she is? These thoughts go through my head every day, and I think they will last for the next 18 years at a minimum. But the best example of my paranoia lays in what I am about to tell you.

My little Violet has slept in her Rock N Play Sleeper (word to the wise, pregnant mamas, you NEED this) next to her bed since we brought her home. This is both for convenience, since babies wake up so often at night, and also for peace of mind. In the middle of the night I like being able to glance over and see her, make sure she’s okay, and fall back asleep. However, she has seemed restless at night lately. I think she’s trying to tell us, “I’m ready for my big girl crib, bitches.” (What? Surely I can’t be the only one who narrates their baby’s thoughts with curse words.)

Sigh. Off to the crib she goes. This conversation between Kristen and I ensued:

Kristen: So you’re seriously going to sleep in there?

Kindra: Yeah.

Kristen: So did you guys put the air mattress in there too?

Kindra: Our air mattress died 😦

Kindra: That reveals the extent of my paranoia…I am sleeping on a pile of blankets on the floor of my daughter’s room. Lol.

Kristen: That would make a good Facebook post if it wasn’t so pathetic.

Kristen: I can guarantee you that this won’t happen if you ever have a second child.

Kindra: Go ahead…try to say you won’t…I’m taking a pic of this convo so that I can hold it over your head one day.

Kristen: I like to think I’m not that kind of person

Kindra: Hmmmm perhaps I will make this a blog post, so it lives on in the internet.

Kristen: Perhaps you should FINISH your blog post. Put that on the internet.

Kindra: Shush.

Kristen: Also, it’s called the world wide web.

Kindra: Shush again.

Kristen: Hater don’t hate.

This conversation illustrates two things: (1) the embarrassing extent of my paranoia and love for my daughter, (2) the proof I need to tell Kristen a big fat “I told you so” when she goes through this one day! 😃

So comfy in her crib. And so oblivious to her mother’s paranoia.

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About Blondie Kindra

Part twinner, part wifey, part stay at home mommy (until I find a new job anyways). Lover of cupcakes and fitness. Join me on my adventures in becoming a working mom and getting my post-baby bikini body back!