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To Think I Was Worried He’d Never Read

This morning my little guy greeted me with a big hug. He’s not always such a happy riser, so I was surprised and thankful.

When I got back from walking Miss Sophie, he came up to me with a huge smile on his face. I assumed this was more of his good mood, and then he started to speak. Excitedly.

“MamacanIpleasehavetheStarWarscerealforbreakfastpleasecanIplease?”

Before my “I’ve been up less than an hour, people” brain could untangle all of the words jumbled together, Cooter took a deep breath and started again.

“Mama, may I please have some of the Star Wars cereal? It has less sugar than the cereal that she is eating,” he said, pointing to his sister, Princess.

Ummm. Wait. What?

Cooter has taken to reading labels. I’m not sure if it is his interest in being a chef (although the other day he added “drug dog handler” to his list of “what I wanna be’s”) or if it’s because, as a family affected by severe food allergies, that’s what we do. Read labels. A lot.

“Okay. Explain.”

“Weeeeeellllll, I read the label on the Star Wars cereal and I read the label on hers…..and mine has less sugar.”

You have got to be kidding me, cereal makers of the world. The organic stuff has more sugar than “limited time only” Star Wars cereal with marshmallow puffs?

Okay, here’s where I have to apologize. Yes. I actually bought that junk. We usually only have the healthier versions of the cereal in the house. I won’t even buy the organic cocoa puffs because it’s too much like dessert. But in a weak moment on a shopping trip which Cooter was helping me make, he saw the Star Wars cereal. He is the world’s biggest fan, and since he agreed it would be a special treat snack only every so often, I decided to indulge him and bought him the junk.

*hangs head* I know. I know.

A little comparison making…..homeschool–check!

So imagine my surprise when I compared the labels today. Or rather, when Cooter pointed them out to me. I taught him to compare the serving size first and then we looked at everything else. In the face of his logic, I broke down and let him have the Star Wars cereal for breakfast JUST THIS ONCE. After all, that big smile on his face told me how proud he was of his discovery. He was beaming.

This one, y’all. I just might be in trouble.

Cereal labels aren’t the only thing he reads. A few weeks back, I came in from running errands and he announced quite indignantly–as though I had anything to do with it, “Did you know that there is VEGETABLE OIL in Mountain Dew?”

We had some left over from a thing, and he had read the box.

“No, I had no idea. I don’t drink the stuff, Buddy.”

“Well neither do I, because you won’t let me, but EWWWWW. Who wants to drink VEGETABLE OIL?”

Yeah. I don’t know. Folks do, though, because the box was nearly empty.

He has told more than a few folks about his discovery, including the nurse at the allergist’s office today. VEGETABLE OIL, people. Apparently you don’t have to be ten to realize that stuff was not intended to be a drink.

I have laughed to myself a lot today over my little guy and his label reading. He becomes downright investigative about it, and it cracks me up. I expect I’ll get caught in more situations like the one this morning. He uses his powers to the betterment of the one person he knows best–himself.