Monday, January 13, 2014

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Gracie Mansion

There have been so many complaints
about Bill De Blasio’s inauguration in the right-wing (di destra) mass
media and apologies in the left-wing (di sinistra) mass media that I
thought I should take a look/listen at his speech.

In the first three
days of the Bill De Blasio New York City Mayoral Dynasty it appears to
me that he has received more negative press attention than Michael
Bloomberg did during his three terms (12 years). Much of this chatter
concerns Bill’s les than perfect New Year's Day Inauguration
extravaganza on the always slippery (sempre scivoloso)
steps of City Hall. I kinda new something bad was going to happen when I
wasn’t invited to attend the historic inauguration of the second
half-Italian Mayor ever in history. In contrast, I had been invited to
all three of Bloomberg’s and was even thanked three times by him, along
with some A.I.P.s (Actually Important People) in his printed
inauguration programs for the use of my photos of diverse city
neighborhoods. I wondered whether Bill might recycle them like the
Bloomberg staffers he is retaining, I think, because he hardly expected
to win. Had Bill Thompson or Christine Quinn won, every open position
would have been filled the day after the election by what’s left of the
Democratic Party patronage machine. The toothless county Bosses would
have lined up at least three (more or less qualified) candidates for
each show and/or no show jobs. Being out of power for twenty years makes
for hungry political club members.

However, I did
receive an invitation for the Gracie Mansion Inauguration Open House and
went with my wife and two of my five grandchildren. My friend Michael
stood in line for three and half hours in the freezing drizzle with his
two grandsons before getting photographed with Bill. Michael also got
one; like the one he got when Bloomberg left City Hall. Michael and I
were pleased to see so many black and brown faces at Gracie, obscured as
they were by hats, scarves, and earmuffs. I spent much of my foul
weather ordeal conversing with an Indian (from India) American architect
Staten Islander who said that Staten islanders are very "opinionated." I
told him he should be proud to be one of the three people who voted for
Bill on l’Isola Bella. As my
wife, grandsons, and I have better things to do during the NFL Playoffs,
we voted (4-0) to leave after an hour on line and a cup of hot apple
cider.

There have been so many complaints about Bill De Blasio’s inauguration in the right-wing (di destra) mass media and apologies in the left-wing (di sinistra)
mass media that I thought I should take a look/listen at his speech. My
friend, and mega-Bill supporter, James Anthony, who I trust more than
both Chris Hayes and Matthews, was there and came away disappointed,
having expected expressions of unity, not division. To be honest, not
only hadn’t I been invited to the inauguration, I didn’t listen to De
Blasio’s speech or even read it until asked to do so for this column.
Having been treated to Bill’s rhetorical flourishes and oratorical
prowess on several pre-victory occasions he would not be on my “oldies
but goodies” i-Pod playlist.

As I spent three
years in the U.S. Army Security Agency, before both Edward Snowden and
Chelsea Manning were born, I figured I’d put my training to good use and
decipher Bill De Blasio’s inauguration address as might The New York Times’s
Charles Blow. First of all, his talk lasted a little less than twenty
minutes and the written text was 1888 words long. For the analysis, I
watched and listened to it in its entirely on The New York Timeswebpage while
making notes of what sounded like more emphatic phrasings as well as
expressive facial and bodily movements that might give special meaning
to the words. Given his rather ligneous (legnoso)
performance, this yielded rather little additional intelligence. For
most of the text, I did a simple content and contextual analysis,
looking especially at the most frequent words used and grouping them
together when appropriate into meaningful categories. These were then
placed in descending order of frequency. For example the most frequent
expected category was “ethnic.” And, among “Ethnic Things: Latino” there
were 24 words but all but one were in his reasonably well-uttered
Spanish translation of his thanks to his New York brothers and sisters.
The second most, “Ethnic Things: Italian” received 13, but these
included the names of his children Chiara and Dante as well as LaGuardia
and Cuomo. So we should conclude it was not an especially ethnic
speech. Politicians like to present their ideas as “New” and as might be
predicted it was used 14 times; but most were in reference to “The”
city or newspapers, so it wasn’t especially “new” either.

Work and derivatives
of the term were used 9 times, followed by Family (8), and of course
Progressive at 6. Children and Neighbor(hood) got 5 mentions while
People and Taxes both got 4. One of the 3 Parents mentioned were
“grand,” and Justice was pronounced twice along with Bloomberg and
Cuomo. The rest were equivocated once: American and Mother without the
Apple Pie; God got as many as each of the Clintons on the stage with
equal billing for Wall Street, One Percent, (middle) Class, Tale of Two
Cities, and Stop and Frisk. Jews, Muslims, Catholics, and Protestants
were indirectly intoned as "Rabbi," "Imam," "Monsignor," and "Rev.", so
only Hindus, Buddhists, et alia., should feel slighted as well as Agnostics and, God Forbid (Dio non voglia) – Atheists (most of whom probably voted for De Blasio).

Grouped together, the core keywords of Bill’s, less than stirring but
solidly hopefull, positive, and forward-looking (Progressive?) oration
concerned Family and Neighbors and emphasized what we owe to each other
as fellow New Yorkers. Who, other than Hannity & Co. and arayan Ayn
Rand Paul could be nauseated (nauseato)
by that sentiment? His tenderest tones and most genuine smiles were
reserved for his wife and the least of those affectations for his
ex-Mayor, but all this is to be expected. Had the other Bill on the dais
given De Blasio’s speech, it wouldn’t have received a better rating
even as we slave on alongside Letitia James, hand and hand with Dasani, Harry Belafante, and the Rev. Frederick A. Lucas, Jr. on the Dickensian plantation of Gotham.
To live or relive the whole William Warren, Jr. Bill De Blasio Inauguration.