Month: December 2015

What can I say? My 2015 has been my most blessed year! Nothing compares to the most awesome year in my whole life. Have I been a very good girl? Because God rewarded me pretty plenty of genuine life’s blessings. Thank You po! 😀

If I have to tell it all, I might not be able to finish this blog post so I opt to (try to) summarize everything.

January 2015: I never imagined I could pull off a wedding event that was planned in a span of 4 freakin’ months! Who does that? — Why of course it’s me!! T’was the product of both getting pregnant before marriage plus parents desire to get you be married before the child arrives… But wait, there’s more! They wanted it to be inside the church! So yeah, the pressure was something I’ve never felt before. And I was pregnant the whole planning time (I keep on emphasizing it, sorry!). And just before January 2015 ended, there I was. In the aisle of the church. And I got hitched! Who would’ve thought? For me, it was unbelievable… Not the wedding I’ve dreamed of, but I was with the people I love the most when I said ‘I do’ to my now-ex-boyfriend. And it’s amazing. Reeeeallyyyyy amazing. 🙂 Planning my wedding day got me into thinking that maybe I could shift to an events organizing career. Yes? LOL.

February 2015: After we got married, we moved-in to our new condo unit in Parañaque. We chose to live here so we could live near my in-laws. (My mother-in-law wanted to take care of our little one, so it’s the safest choice. Knowing that it is hard to look for someone who will look over to an infant). So moving in to a new home means organizing, cleaning, and buying all the house must-haves! Kind of exciting!

March 2015: Ahh… Our birth date! 🙂 And also my third trimester of pregnancy.

April 2015: IT. WAS. A. SCORCHINGLY. TERRBILE. APRIL!! For me and my baby. I just can’t stand the heat that the summer 2015 brought to Philippines! Plus the fact that I was pregnant that time, it added up to the feeling of being swollen. And tired. And I JUST WANTED TO GIVE BIRTH! BABY PLEASE COME OUT, NOW!! Well, it was some awful April summer.

May 2015: Another unbelievable month! The month I gave birth to my precious little baby. True Love at first sight does exist! Because I felt it the moment when the nurses put my son into my chest for the unang yakap and right then and there, I felt all sorts of the best emotions! I’m overwhelmed! It is really an overwhelming feeling to become a mother of such a wonderful child. I just cannot simply believe that God designed us, woman, to carry a life into our wombs and deliver them in to this world alive. Praise God for being so amazing in His own ways! There were another two blessings that came this month: first was that our company’s maternity leave policy changed from being unpaid to paid! At least we got money to pay the hospital bills. Yay! Second was when I got to join an FB community of moms-to-be named OMG Birthclub 2nd quarter 2015. This group is for the expectant moms with babies due are from April-June2015. Never have I thought that an online community of compassionate mommies do exist (specially for me who has trust issues).

June 2015: I need BEING A MOMMY 101! These are the days that I am feeling happy and exhausted at the same time. I’m not adjusting. I’m being stretched to my limit! There are also times when postpartum depression struck me. This is the kind of depression that I have no control of. I just felt it. Talk about hormones! I would have gone crazy if not for my OMG family. Gazillion thanks to them! Whenever my little one would do unlimited latching and I have to stay awake in the middle of the night, they are the ones I could chitchat to; talking about anything under the sun. It was a fun fun fun chat room and I am just glad I got added to it.

July 2015: SEPARATION ANXIETY! That sums it up. I needed to go back to work, build my breastmilk stash, and adjust once again to commuting and being away from my little one.

August 2015: By this month, somehow I was able to get the hang of being a working mom once again. Still struggling with my milk stash, and still suffers mild separation anxiety.

September 2015: I got transferred to a new project in work. Yey! Another chance for new learning! This month was also when my baby’s Christening day took place, when I started cloth nappying my little one and I also got the chance to meet some of my OMG Family in a buffet lunch at Vikings, SM Megamall. That was my first ever ‘ME time’ since I got pregnant. (Throwback: It was September 2014 when I passed the pregnancy test kit! LOL)

October 2015: Nothing much that I remember. I might be busy at work. That’s why. 😛

November 2015: #MyLittleMan Gabriel already ate his first solid food! Guess what? I gave him carrots! Hoping that he’ll have sharp eyesight ’til he become an adult. Unlike his momma who’s now afraid she might get blinded in the future. (Yes, I’m here!)

December 2015: One of my favorite months aside from January, March and May. It was our first Christmas with our son, Gabriel! My son just brought back the magical feeling of this season. Christmas is really for kids and Jesus Christ. Happy birthday Jesus!

And today is the last day of December. Tomorrow will be a brand new day. A brand new year. It’s just great that I am looking forward to better things in life now that I have my own little family. I already have an answer to Nescafe ad’s question:

Para kanino ka bumabangon?

Me: Para sa pamilya ko. 🙂

So long 2015! Thank you for being awesome!

“Closing time… Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” – Closing Time by Semisonic

Becoming a mother is the greatest blessing of my life. And as a millennial mom that I am, I chose to breastfeed my first born. I thought it was easy. I might have underestimated breastfeeding thinking I can do it as easy as blinking my eyes or breathing in and out. It wasn’t. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s very tiring.

My milk ducts are being clogged on a monthly basis (like it’s the replacement for not having menstruation period since I got pregnant). And little boy, being at 7 months and distracted with every little noise his tiny eardrums hear, is an additional factor for me to get tender or engorged breasts. Whenever he hears a click and clung, or my husband talks to me, he would unlatch and stop feeding because the sound or voice interests him more. Therefore, not draining the milk efficiently which leads me to another case of blocked milk ducts and milk blebs!

He’s also on the phase where he’s grinding his gums whenever he latches on me which makes me twinge and shout (and sometimes curse) because believe me… It really is painful! Luckily, his teeth buds are still deep within his gums. I could not imagine the agony of having a teething baby while breastfeeding.

Our house is also a mess. Since I am a working and breastfeeding mom who doesn’t have a house helper, I can only clean our studio unit sized home on weekends. With feedings in between that even I started doing chores in the morning, I will accomplish (not everything) at night. I can’t cook meals like I do before. I can’t read my pile of to-read list. It’s as if I cannot do anything but just nurse my son or look after him if he’s awake.

Honestly, due to those instances, I am tempted to stop breastfeeding my son. One big factor might be because I am now more terrified that when his teeth pops out, he will bite and blood will drip out of my breasts and gee… What’s next? Clogged milk duct? Sore, wounded nipples? Painfully engorged breasts? Another cycle. With new episodes.

I am on the verge of giving up on my breastfeeding journey. Of course, breastmilk is best! Nothing beats a mother’s milk! That’s why I really pushed myself to feed and nourish my son with my own manufactured milk because I wanted to give him the best that I could give. And it’s a decision full of joy and sacrifices.

But now I am a tired, breastfeeding mother. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my son anymore. I’m just… in pain.

May I find the strength to go along and continue feeding my little man with the best milk in the universe. After all, God made me a woman with the superpower of creating the best food for a growing baby. May He give me the superpower of braving the upcoming breast-aches.

As I always say to myself whenever I pray… So help me, God.

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Mitchikels

Howdy! I am Michelle and welcome to my blog! I am a wife, and a breastfeeding, cloth nappying, co-sleeping and babywearing Momma since 2015. I am a Software Engineer by profession and a Writer by heart. I am nostalgic and sentimental. I like reading books, and anything owl-y and hearts-y stuff!

This blog is built due to the long lost dream of becoming a writer, and the euphoria of being a mother! :) So join me as I journey through (though clueless for most of the time) and celebrate motherhood, love and life.