First of all, poor Lady G. needs to either give up the cigarettes or get on some antibiotics. The sound of her wheezing into a cell phone is nearly enough to make one hang up before she even gets started playing with her trusty garden-variety pocket rocket. It's not crystal-clear what's being attempted here, fetish-wise. Shot entirely from a rickety, hard to move tripod, Secret Pleasures wins no kudos for technical brilliance, either.

The best thing about this pair of solo shorts? Easily The Best of Toe Tales 2, the included bonus movie. In fact, viewers and retailers would be best advised to stick with the original version of the latter.

Retailing: Not the best solo out there, but fans of older women might find this appealing.