Mr. Africa Poetry Lounge!

I am so sick

I am so sick of being used, allowing my body to be sexually abused
By a man who says he loves me and cant live without me and says
I wanna have a future with u, baby just trust me!!!
I am so sick of crying every nite cause I wanna be his wife
Picturing in my head what a great life we would have together and……he's scared?
Scared of commitment, growing up, being a real man, instead he wants to sell me dreams
and all I wanna do is scream!!!!
I am so sick of feeling lonely every-night getting calls at 3 in the morning cause he was out had 2 much 2 drink now he wants to fuck it off, right….
I am so sick of him not knowing who he wants, one min he is with me, then bk with his ex he messes with both our minds…… whats next?
I am so sick of this man cause he has me so confused, and abused and I feel used.
Im sick of the way I allow him to control my mind, use up all my free time, and block out any guy that wants to holla at me from time time to time.
I allowed this man to control my life, I hung around for atleast four years on promises that I was gonna be in his life.
All we ever were was friends not boyfriend, girlfriend…. JUST FRIENDS,
I allowed a friend to stop me from being happy,
Allowed a friend to sleep with me wenva he wanted,
allowed a friend to break my heart and make me cry,
allowed a friend to sell me dreams, allowed a friend to make me scream.
I allowed a friend to much opportunities to mess up my life, but that shit aint gonna happen no more cause I told that friend to fuck off and get a life.
I am not sick any more cause I realized I need to love myself before I love any man,
im not sick cause I believe in myself and I know I can,
I can do all things through Christ who strenghthens me, im not sick because ….
I don't need a man in order to succeed,
I can do this all on my own, and until the lord decides to send a good man in my life.
I am happy and free and happy is all I ever wanted to be.