I'm
traveling! It's early! No sleep till Brooklyn! Or San Jose! Whichever
one is west!

This
week has been a mad scramble to get to today, the day we leave for
San Jose, then San Francisco to perform at Sketchfest. I feel like
every moment has been an attempt to cram as much life into the days
leading up, trying to get all my stuff situated.

Miracle:
The list I left for the people filling in for me at work while I'm
gone is nearly empty. I was able to get nearly everything done. So
that was nice.

I
dashed about and went to bed at 1 a.m. last night to get up at 5:30
for a 7:30 a.m. flight. Yeah. Exactly. Yaaaaawn.

Check
it out: M.Giant and Trash from the clever and frequently updated Velcrometer
came to town yesterday. I took them out to my favorite Tex-Mex restaurant,
Azul Tequila, and we chatted for hours until it was late and we closed
the place out. They had taken a circuitous route to get to Austin
from Minneapolis (three great things from Minnesota: Prince, Mystery
Science Theater 3000, the word "Minnesota") and were
a little exhausted, but despite this, offered to take me to the
airport in the morning. I wouldn't even ask my best friend to
get up that early to brave Austin traffic, but they insisted it was
their obligation as Midwesterners to do me a solid, and after some
protest, I accepted.

So
at 6 a.m., M. Giant shows up at my doorstep, right on time, while
I'm still slitting around getting last minute stuff packed. (Items
nevertheless forgotten: Sunglasses, watch, kitty litter changing;
extraneous items brought: car lighter-to-AC adapter, Shaolin Soccer
DVD, extra phone. Yes, I know. "Extra phone?" Long story.
Not gonna get into it here.) I didn't have as much coffee as usual.

I want to be the San Francisco treat.

So
here's what's going in my head today, a little random thing of any
entry, and you all be sure to have a great weekend, okay?

...
In our show, Kara uses crutches at one point and we were trying to
figure out a way to get them to San Fran without actually having to
buy new crutches. So she shows up at the airport, sans one shoe and
using the crutches. She milked it all the way onto the plane and actually
had them push her around in a wheelchair when she got off the plane.
Then she complained later that her arms hurt from the crutches. Karma!

...
Rented a mini-van. I have never driven a mini-van, but it makes me
feel like the Dad of the troupe.

...
We're on the same bill as Fred Willard (Best in Show, Waiting for
Guffman) this weekend!

...
When we went to Seattle, it was drizzly, but mostly beautiful. Here
in San Fran it's cool and rainy. Blah.

...
I've never made a list
like this online, probably because I'm afraid to be so open on
the Web. So, you go, Abbycat. It's not an entry I could ever write,
but I kind of admire people who feel they can.

...
I've seen Christina Aguilera naked more times in the last two months
than I've ever seen any girl I've dated naked in the history of any
relationship. Should there be a clothing drive, or some sort of tailor
fund established for the poor girl?

...
Drinking bootlegged tiny bottles from the flight of Crown Royal and
coke. Mmmm good.

...
Did I leave enough water for the cats?

....
Adrian and I watched some Monty Python DVDs on the flight on his portable
DVD player and I showed him the beginning of Hedwig. I forgot
how fun that movie is, but I'm not sure that he was too impressed.

...
Christopher Reeve is gonna be on Smallville in a few weeks.
Okay, I will never reveal who this is, but a couple I know once shared
with me a really devastatingly funny Christopher Reeve impression.
It's wrong and it's awful and again, very wrong, but I'm going to
be thinking about it constantly as I recap that episode.

...
Still reading The Lovely Bones. It's supposed to be this incredibly
fast read, but it's taking me ages. I think I'm reading it extra slow
and just savoring the language. It really gets in your head.

...
Bush's tax plan: a windfall for people who pay huge capital gains
taxes on investments. You and me? No. Very wealthy people? Oh yes.
Does anyone you know ever get any "capital gains?"

...
Joe Millionaire: It's like they made a show just for me. Who
hasn't pretended they inherited $50 million in order to impress
20 women? I mean, shit. We've all been there, right fellas? Right?

...
The battery on my laptop is pretty much useless. It has a short life
to begin with, but lately it's taken to just shutting off entirely
for no good reason, usually when I'm in the middle of typing a sentence.
Then I have to start up Windows all over and that just drains the
battery even more. This is a great laptop, and I love it, but it absolutely
sucks on flights. If any of you out there work for Toshiba, can you
go slap someone in the battery design department?

...
More later. I'm having fun!

Big
pimpin'

I
have a game review running in tomorrow's paper of the new
Mortal Kombat game, but I don't have the URL. Visit
statesman.com and go to the Life & Arts section tomorrow.
It'll be under "Digital"

If
you're in San Fran, come see our Sketchfest
show. If you're in Los Angeles, go see Pamie's,
"Call Us Crazy: The Anne Heche Monologues" at the
Hudson Avenue Theater.

If
you live elsewhere, go see some local comedy. Support your
local comics.