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If you've never seen the children's show "Yo Gabba Gabba" you either:A.) don't have small children. - or -B.) don't smoke weed.You should probably check the show out anyway. It's absolutely insane. Educational with people in brightly colored costumes teaching kids cool lessons about sharing and stuff like that. Plus weird songs. And awesome guest stars. And children dancing their asses off. Think Sesame Street for the new millennium. Plus Biz's Beat of the Day.

Well, Anthony Bourdain - acclaimed author and star of the Travel Channel show "No Reservations" - will be making a guest appearance as Dr. Tony on "Yo Gabba Gabba" on March 10th. Bourdain is also coming to the Weidner Center on June 11th - listen to Rick and Len next week to win tickets. I'm assuming the Weidner show will be more "No Reservations" and very little "Yo Gabba Gabba."

The News is important. The News lets you and me know the important things going on in the world, our country, and our towns. The News explains complicated issues. The News provides facts, objectively, that you and I can draw our own conclusions from.

Unfortunately, far too often the media outlets that are supposed to be providing The News to us, instead spoon feed us "news" that isn't important to the world, country, town, or my life. It's "news" that is too lazy to explain complicated issues. Or worse, don't even cover it because it's too complicated for some lazy reporters to figure out themselves. It's "news" that substitutes ridiculous personal opinions for facts. It's "news" that allows someone without credentials or any fact-based data an equal amount (and often greater amount) of airtime as a respected expert with mountains of well-researched scientific data.

Having real credit card issues? Try getting into a Debt Management Plan (DMP) through organizations like Money Management International. They'll negotiate with credit card companies to get your interest rates down to nothing (or almost nothing), lower your minimum payments, and help you make your payments on time. I've been working with them personally for about 5 years and will have what started out at around $30,000 in credit card debt paid off this summer.

Apparently the people of Brazil are also ceding that Americans are hotter than the rest of the world. In a new beer commercial, they're showing Paris Hilton dancing around with a can of beer while the entire nation of Brazil watches on, drooling. I can't tell if they're drooling over Paris Hilton or over the beer. Both look tasty.

A new poll found that 70% of Americans feel that gay men and lesbians should be allowed to serve in the military. But that poll also found that only 59% of Americans feel that homosexuals should be allowed to serve in the military.

Which means that at least 11% of Americans don't understand that "homosexual" means exactly the same as "gay" or "lesbian."

We all know that the United States doesn't use the metric system. I'm 5 feet 11 inches tall, weigh 185 pounds, and my normal body temperature is 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. I drive 75 miles per hour on the highway, live about 3 miles from work, buy milk and gasoline by the gallon, and buy beer in 12 fluid ounce bottles.

I know what most of that means. But it's also one of the stupidest ways of dividing units, using some odd combination of threes, eights, twelves, and who knows what else. 12 inches in a foot. 3 feet in a yard. 5,280 feet in a mile. 43,560 square feet in an acre. 8 oz. in a cup. 4 cups in a quart. 4 quarts in a gallon, which ends up being 128 oz. And those are fluid ounces, measuring volume... not regular ounces which measure weight. There are 16 ounces in a pound. And 2000 pounds in a ton. And don't forget that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit and boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Who came up with this crap?

Then there's the metric system. Everything is based on tens, and hundreds, and thousands (and tenths, and hundredths, and thousandths, etc.) Centimeters in a meter? 100. Meters in a kilometer? 1000. Grams in a kilogram? 1000. Kilograms in a metric ton? 1000. Milliliters in a liter? 1000. Water freezes at 0 and boils at 100 on the Celsius scale. It's insanely easy.

And it would make you feel better about yourself! Your fat ass weighs 250 pounds? Not anymore! You're just 113 kilograms! It's only 30 degrees outside? Well strip down to your bikinis ladies, because 30 Celsius is what used to be 86 Fahrenheit. Can't drive 55mph? Well now you're driving 88kph... and when this baby hits 88kph, you're going to see some serious sh....

But you're saying, "Elwood, I don't understand the U.S. system any more than you. But we must not be alone in the world. I know some countries in Europe use the metric system... but we don't want to be like those cheese-eating surrender monkeys in France, do we?"

To which I respond firstly with this link explaining why France is a bigger bad ass country when it comes to fighting wars than you ever realized.

Secondly, I will respond by admitting that, no, we are not the only country in the world that hasn't adopted the metric system yet. Here's the list of all the others:

Burma

Liberia

That's it. And just to help illustrate the point further... a map.

For once, it is easier being green.

Yep. We're almost all alone in the world. And it just makes us look stubborn for not changing. And stupid every time an American tourist goes anywhere in the world and can't figure out an item's size, how much it weighs, the next day's weather forecast, the distance to their next location, and what speed to drive to get there.

Unless you're traveling to Liberia or Burma. In which case you'll be just fine.

All I know about the Ukraine is that it used to be a part of the USSR, and that it was the downfall of an epic game of Risk between Kramer and Newman in an episode of Seinfeld.

I now also know that whatever the political situation is in Ukraine, I want to hop right in the middle of it and motorboat that sonofabitch.

A group of topless women (with strategically placed tape) stormed into a Ukrainian polling place to protest... something. I'm not sure what exactly. I keep trying to read the entire article here, but get distracted by the perkiness every time. Every round, firm, magnificent time.

The "Future of the Republican Party" - the woman that some members of the right wing think will be the savior of their political ideals... and the savior of this country some day - isn't smart enough to remember her own talking points.

At the Tea Party Convention over the weekend, the former Vice-Presidential Candidate and former Governor of Alaska had to check the crib notes on her hand in order to answer basic questions.

Written on her hand:

Energy

Budget Tax Cuts

Lift American Spirits

Listen, I understand the need for politicians to use notes or teleprompters when speaking in public. But that's for a carefully worded speech, or occasionally just to make sure they have their facts straight (like quoting the statistics from an important economic study). But when you're not bright enough to remember three things... three really simple things (again: Energy, Tax Cuts, Lift American Spirits) and you have to resort to methods used by high school freshmen to cheat on their history exam... maybe you're not exactly the type of person who should be considered to run the most powerful nation in the world!

Just my opinion. Or at least I think it's my opinion... the notes on my palm are a little smudged.

OK, so it's a station promo and not even a real paid-for ad. But it was still funnier than anything else last night.

And if I have to see those stupid, creepy, talking E-Trade babies one more time I'm going to punch my television screen. Maybe not my new 42" HD plasma, but I'll go upstairs and punch my old worn down 13".

Ketchup packets suck. They never have enough ketchup in them, so you have to use about 12 to get through a small order of french fries. And they're messy. You always end up with ketchup on your fingers, and you can't use the packets to dip your fries in when you're in the car.

Well the people at Heinz have finally realized that they can use existing technology (those dipping containers that have been around for 25+ years for BBQ, Sweet & Sour, Ranch, Honey Mustard, and a few dozen other condiments) to finally make ketchup more easily available for the masses. Read the full story with the link below.

Men's Health magazine has published a list of the "drunkest" cities in America... and we're not even on the list. C'mon Green Bay! C'mon Appleon and Oshkosh! Get your drunk on!

Sure Madison made the list at #15... but they have college students, and that's just youthful binge drinking. We've got full-grown, full-blown alcoholism up here that needs to be recognized! Hell, Milwaukee was all the way down at #58.

About WAPL

105.7 WAPL, Wisconsin's Rock Station, is a 100,000 watt radio station serving Green Bay, Appleton, Oshkosh, and the surrounding communities in the Fox Valley and Northeast Wisconsin.

105.7 WAPL is also your FM home for Green Bay Packers football. Listen all season for complete Packers Radio Network game coverage from Wayne Larrivee and Larry McCarren.

The Rockin' Apple has spent over thirty years entertaining listeners through the music of artists like Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Ozzy Osbourne, Van Halen, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue, and countless others - along with concerts, contests and the humor of the veteran morning duo of Rick and Len.

In 2008, WAPL won the prestigious Marconi Award for national Rock Station of the Year. WAPL has also been awarded Rolling Stone Magazine Reader's Choice Station five times (1990, 92, 93, 94, and 95). In 1999, the station won Radio and Records Small Market Rock Station of the Year, and in 2004 and 2006 won the Wisconsin Area Music Industry.