All posts in category Philosophy

I write this entry with these people in mind: my unborn child, who [might] consider being a physician someday, for my future students [mwahahahahahaha!], and for myself, that I may be reminded of who I was as a student. This is the fifth part of the series.

You’ve survived clerkship! Congratulations! You’ve graduated and earned your Diploma. You bear the title of a Doctor. And we still have a loooong way to go!

The 5th year of Medicine is the Post-Graduate Internship year, as most Philippine Medical schools give their diplomas at the end of the 4th year. This is the year you’re no longer a student per se. You will become the Post-Graduate Intern, the “apprentice doctor”.

This is the year you will rotate one last time in all the different fields of medicine – you will be an internist, a pediatrician, a surgeon, a community doctor, an obstetrician-gynecologist, a researcher. Now that I’m close to finishing my medical internship, I realized that this is the last time, the last chance I’ll get to being as close to these fields of medicine. After this will come the board exams, and after, the many paths a doctor may take.

For the purpose of this entry, I will write about my experiences as a Post-Graduate Intern of the Department of Health – Centers for Specialized Health Care (DOH-PCSHC) program, and lessons I’ve gained along the way.

An Overview of the DOH-PCSHC Program

The DOH-PCSHC Logo

The vision of the program is:

Five specialty medical centers under one umbrella that could provide world class specialized care to Filipinos regardless of social status in the most efficient, cost effective and sustainable way.

The mission of the program is to:

Provide a highly specialized medical SERVICE to all patients using modern, cost effective equipment and instruments.

Provide the setting and opportunities for the TRAINING and teaching of all types of health professionals

Provide the setting and opportunity for progressive and sustained RESEARCH in medicine and all its allied profession with the end in view of providing the highest quality of health service.

Institute provisions, procedures and practices that will ensure SUSTAINABILITY.

Established in 2005, the DOH-PCSHC program is one of the many Internship programs you can choose. It is a 12-month program where you will rotate in the different fields of medicine in the 5 DOH-affiliated hospitals in the Quezon Circle area – namely East Avenue Medical Center (base hospital), Philippine Children’s Medical Center, Philippine Heart Center, National Kidney and Transplant Institute, and Lung Center of the Philippines. You’ll also rotate in the Marikina Health Department for your community medicine rotation as well.

Choosing your Intenship Program

Graduating from medical school and being released into the world was initially a jarring experience for me. I was used to the systems of my former school that I found myself out of my comfort zone during my early days as a PGI.

Working in the various DOH-PCSHC affiliated hospitals

When it comes to choosing your Internship program, you must consider the following:

Desire for learning – as an oversimplification, I found that there are two types of PGIs – those who wish to focus on “book learning” and those who wish to have “experience learning”. Different programs offer different opportunities. Some programs are lighter than the others due to factors such as lesser patient loads, fewer facilities, and the like, which offer time for an intern to study. Some programs are conversely heavier than others, where one comes home, falls asleep, and survives another day. I found some PGIs chose their program that they can focus on reading their medical textbooks to prepare for the board exams, while some chose their program in order to improve their clinical skills. It is good to find a balance between the two, and to choose an appropriate program accordingly.

Desire for compensation – the difference with this year and the previous one is that you’re now part of the workforce. You won’t pay any tuition fees, and some programs will even compensate you, in the form of allowance or stipends. It is in my opinion that you should put this in the least of your priorities when choosing a program, however, because the experiences you might get may outweigh any material compensation.

Accessibility – Some PGIs choose their program for its proximity to their homes. I have a friend who chose her program since it was in Davao City, where she has been away from for almost a decade. Certainly being near family has helped her become happier with her work.

Goals for the future – It is advisable to choose a program wherein you intend to practice in the future. It will help you get to know the culture of the program you’re contemplating, as well as getting to know your future seniors in the field. Knowing the protocols of the hospital certainly helps as well, as it will make you a more efficient and effective asset to the team should you be accepted there. One of the key advantages I noted was that I also got to know the residents and fellows of the different departments, whom I will refer to for guidance in the future.

I chose the DOH-PCSHC program for the following reasons:

I wanted to improve my clinical eye by exposing myself to many varied cases. (I wasn’t disappointed with what I’ve seen along the way.)

I wanted to improve my clinical skills through its performance in my duties.

I wanted the challenge of working under pressure in resource limited environments.

I wanted to discover the work culture and the environment I hope to work in the future.

I wanted to apply for an Ophthalmology residency at the East Avenue Medical Center.

Level Up!

Open Heart Surgery at PHC

As a PGI, you will don for the first time your white coat.

The history of donning the white coat began in the 19th century, where physicians began to wear it to symbolize the transition to the scientific approach to modern medicine, and to distance it from the quackery and mysticism of its predecessors. The white coat is more than your uniform – it is the symbol of your status as a man of science and learning. It is a reward you gain for your years of sweat and tears, and also a reminder of the responsibility of how your words and actions will impact another.

Hopefully, you worked hard as a clerk, and gained plenty of experiences and knowledge along the way. During internship, from being the “grunt”, you are promoted into a “sergeant”. During clerkship, you worked under your PGIs; now that you are one, you will take under your command your clerks, whom you will hopefully teach and nurture to become better doctors in the future.

Guiding Principles

When I was a clerk, I was exposed to different types of PGIs. There were PGIs who deserve praise and respect, as they taught me things that weren’t written in the books, and then there were those who taught me what not to be.

Rest and Recreation is part of training too!

Learn to prioritize tasks. Time management is an invaluable skill for Internship. You will be given lots of responsibilities – lab work, monitoring patients, doing paperwork, doing census, interviewing patients, assisting in procedures, to name a few. A good rule of thumb to prioritize tasks is to concentrate on those that will give the most benefit at a certain time. For example, if a patient has a deteriorating level of consciousness, certainly referring it to your senior takes precedence over doing paperwork. This is similar to the triage system in the ER, where you will focus concern on the emergency cases and less on the non-urgent ones. I found how this was not much of a concern when I was a clerk, as I only followed orders. In your PGI year, you will constantly make decisions on your feet, so make the best ones and make them count.

Take care of yourself – this principle still holds until this very year. Internship will entail new responsibilities and challenges that will test you. Along the way, you might neglect your health and well-being, and it will manifest itself insidiously. At best, you’ll become irritable and you’ll feel like giving up; at worst, you’ll compromise your care of your patients. Take care of yourself. You cannot give what you do not have. There are some rotations that are lighter than the others; use them to reconnect with your old friends, go out with your family, watch movies and read non-medical books.

Never forget who you were – you were once also a JI/Clerk. This year will put you in command of clerks. Do not become a “kupal” or a douchey PGI – treat your clerks the way you wanted to be treated as a clerk – with respect. They may not say it, but they will look up to you. Lead them by example. Give them time to eat and rest, and teach them concepts and skills you wish you knew at their level. Your goal should be to make them better doctors than yourself. Listen to your clerks when they refer to you, and do not discard their intuitions. I always tell my clerks that I don’t care if what they refer is trivial; as long as it makes them concerned about the well-being of a patient, they should by all means refer their concern. By doing these basic things, I found that my clerks would work harder and would generally tell me that they were happier with their rotation, despite its challenges. This would translate to better communication among the medical team, as well as better patient care.

Respect your seniors – you will meet different doctors with varied personalities this year. Respect them for what they will teach you, and learn from them what books cannot explain. As you do not have a medical license, always consult with your seniors first before performing an intervention. It is their license on the line if anything happens to a patient.

Teamwork is key – you will not survive this year without the combined efforts of your colleagues. The lone wolf archetype truly is not fit for medicine – you cannot treat a patient with multidisciplinary problems alone; you need the help of everyone to provide effective care.

Communication! I’ve learned that the bulk (almost 90%) of medical work is communication. You communicate with patients to know their disease and other factors that affect their treatment. You communicate with your colleagues and allied health personnel. You label the specimens you send to the laboratory. You tell a brief history and physical examination when you get initial readings for imaging work. You endorse your patients to your replacements. You clarify the orders of your residents/fellows/consultants. You refer your patients to your seniors. You write (and pair) your orders in the chart. You write referral forms, discharge summaries, clinical abstracts. You talk to the patient and the family regarding their diagnosis and options for treatment. Communication. I honestly didn’t realize how medicine is unfit for introverts like myself. I confess that I also tire of talking to people, and that sometimes I wish I could just hide in my room for the day. But it is a reality you will need to accept everyday, and one that you have to strive to improve upon.

Look out for opportunities, and take them – there are plenty of opportunities to learn and grow in internship. My fiance told me that internship year is mostly self-directed learning, and if you complain that you don’t learn anything in a rotation, it’s your fault for not grabbing opportunities as they come. You will only become as good as you allow yourself to be. When you come upon a new case, read about it when you can, and learn its unique signs and symptoms. Ask questions from your seniors on its management, and research updates on treatment. Don’t be afraid to attempt new procedures and grab everything opportunity you have – I once did an ultrasound guided IJ catheter insertion (and probably the last time I’ll do it in my lifetime), and I’ll never forget the thrill and reward of doing it. I once held a beating human heart, delivered a baby, saved critically ill infants, called a code, intubated an unconscious man – experiences that no book, no matter how brilliant its explanation, can ever match.

Moving Forward

My Post-Graduate Internship year in the DOH program was one of my most rewarding and fulfilling years in my life as a physician. I can definitely say that I’ve grown more confident in my skills from what I’ve been exposed to in the program. I’ve seen cases that books say are uncommon, and even rare. I’ve experienced making and calling decisions to save lives. I’ve seen suffering and death, and I’ve seen health and vitality, and have grown to accept one or the other. I felt the gravity of my words and deeds to those around me. I no longer am afraid of facing a critically ill individual, because I was taught what to do. I still weep for those patients I’ve lost, and I learn to move forward for those who remain.

I’ve always wanted to become a doctor. I’ve always imagined what my 5-year-old self would think if he saw me now. Despite the dark circles under my eyes, my constant coughing fits, and my aching limbs, I’d like to think that he’ll be proud of me.

What you are right now is what kind of physician you’ll be. The medical intern is father to the physician. I hope one day that the physicians of the future will be those that their young selves would pride to boast of, those with bright passionate eyes despite the dark circles, those with pure hearts despite the unhealthy coughing fits, and those with unrelenting will despite the aching limbs. I hope we become the doctors we wanted to be.

I wish for you a prosperous and fulfilling year ripe with learning and growth! I will see you along the way.

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran is one of my favorite books. I have read it countless times, yet I wish that a physician could have asked this question, and how the prophet could have spoken about this topic close to my heart. I dare to write as Kahlil Gibran.

Then a physician spoke: wise Almustafa, speak to us on healing.

Healing is the gentle touch that releases the body from Pain, yet is also the sharp strike that cuts deep into the soul. It is the well of tears that overflows to water the barren land, and it is the raging fire that cleanses the sallow pastures.

It the manifestation of Love in all of its nakedness: Love whose ways we cannot divine nor dream to ever comprehend. Just as the river carves into the mountains and valleys and fields does healing spread out and embrace all with its shapeless form. It is the torrential rain and the refreshing sunlight that falls upon the slave and the master, the tyrant and the free, the brave and the cowardly. It is the Love that which everyone possesses yet does not see.

You healers are but conduits from which the spark of Life passes through. Through you the people feel the touch of God’s hands and divine His wisdom. Your voice radiates His power, and your mind reflects His intimate thoughts. Through your hands you welcome the new delegates of Life’s procession, and through you they behold the gaze of Eternity.

When you heal one another remember that you too heal yourself. For the Pain of the other is your Pain too, and the loss of the other is your loss too. You break the bones you mend, and your heart is ripped asunder with the burdens they bear. Yet let your heart be gladdened with their fortitude, and let your soul be inspired with their peace.

Let healing not be measured by wasted triumphs nor useless endeavors. For no one can do battle with Pain and Death without losing. For as the two are your enemies so are they your final companions. Embrace them as you would your friends and your children, and know that they will too, join in your procession.

A crowd forms around, and I would close the curtain
His eyes stare blankly at us. He turns pale, then blue.
We wheel him in for an exlap; his survival’s uncertain.
This could have easily been me or you.

After the commotion we go back to our seat,
To reflect in the privacy of our reticence,
To face the forces of “victory” and “defeat”
Muddled ideologies of men of peace and violence.

His throne iron and heavy, pushed by a servant,
His scepter is steel, a strange fruit hanging,
Clear fluid dripping down into his withered hand.
He looks far at his kingdom, tired and weary.
Cold, he clutches his robes of silk and velvet purple.
His castle is brick and glass, pale and foreboding,
Its many chambers sallow and bustling
With dreams and truths, with hope and regrets.
He looks at his subjects, young and old as he,
In their worse, and at their worst, and at their end,
As white ghosts roam endlessly in the hallways.
The king who rules the world, the king who sits,
Powerful yet impotent, resplendent yet impoverished.
The king muses his melancholy under the cloudy sky.
He has had enough for today.
He looks to his servant and they leave
Towards the doors of the great citadel.

I write this entry with these people in mind: my unborn child, who [might] consider being a physician someday, for my future students [mwahahahahahaha!], and for myself, that I may be reminded of who I was as a student. This is the fourth part of the series.

uerm.edu.ph

Congratulations! Third year of medical school was hell, and by surviving it, you are surely on your way to becoming a physician. You are now going to begin your clinical years, earning the experience needed to function in any setting.

When we were having our orientation at the start of my clerkship year, all of my seniors succinctly described it using this statement: “Ito ang pinakamasayang year na ayaw nyo nang ulitin.” [“This will be the happiest/funnest/best year you’ll experience that you never want to go through again.”] I kept thinking about the meaning of this statement as I went along the journey that has been this year, and only in retrospect will it be clear why.

This is the year you will experience this rite of passage for all doctors.

This year, you will be deep in the trenches, fighting in the front lines of our war against suffering and disease. You will deliver babies, you will perform minor surgery, you will perform your basic medical interventions to your heart’s content, you will talk to and examine endless numbers of patients, you will educate you patients on their diseases, you will persuade your patients to take their medications, you will perform CPR, you will hold the hand of the dying, you will talk with those who all hope is beyond reach. You will experience the highs and lows of your budding medical career; you will share in the triumphs of your patient and medical team; you will share their sadness and their pain. Friendships will be formed, and friendships will be tested.

You will find yourself in the best and the worst of times, so get ready!

Mission Briefing

Clerkship is a 1-year “on-the-job” training, where you will rotate in the various disciplines of Medicine, namely, Internal Medicine, Surgery, Obstetrics-Gynecology, Pediatrics, Psychiatry, Ophthalmology, Otorhinolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery, Neurology, and Community Medicine.

Your rotation will revolve around the “Pre-Duty-From” schedule. Pre-duty schedule is from 7AM to 5PM. Duty schedule is 7AM to 7AM the following day. From schedule is 7AM (following duty status) to 12PM. Pre-duty is like Sunday, feeling as if it’s before the weekdays. Duty is the weekdays, where you will grind yourself to work. From-duty is like Saturday, where you’ll get to rest. The concept of a 7-day week will transform into a 3-day week, as you will discover.

Before you start clerkship, know that this will be the year that you will discover what kind of doctor you are. Wordsworth once wrote: “The child is father to the man.” The medical intern is father to the physician.

I want you to be the best doctor you can be, but only you can make yourself so. Before you start, set your goals for yourself this year. These were mine:

Learn the common diseases, their epidemiology, pathophysiology, management and prognoses.

Discover how to listen more effectively to my patients and colleagues.

Develop common sense.

Develop compassion.

Network with colleagues and friends.

Accept failure, defeat, surrender.

Stand again after every failure.

Ten-Hut!

1899: Regular soldiers of the Philippine Revolutionary Army stand at attention for an inspection (explorer-philippines.com)

Preparation is key to surviving the war in the clinics.

Take care of yourself. Remember to eat healthy, get good rest (if you can, that is, without being a slacker or a liability to the team), keep yourself well-groomed. The stresses you will face this year will test you, so build a good physical foundation to mount your offense.

Take care of yourself, please. I forgot to mention that you should also take into consideration your emotional and spiritual well-being. Burn-out is common during this time, and you’ll need your support systems to back you up.

Get the right equipment. If you haven’t bought the equipment to function effectively, do so now. Invest in good equipment – your stethoscope, sphygmomanometer, thermometer, pulse oximeter, etc.; you’ll be using it for the rest of your professional life. One thing I want to emphasize is to buy good shoes. Do not skimp on good shoes! I destroyed 4 pairs of shoes this year. The worst enemy that will gnaw at you at the end of the day will be your sore feet.

Read your manual, and attend the orientation. Your medical school will probably provide you with a house staff manual or a handbook. Read it. It will save you a lot of trouble in the future. Attending the orientation wouldn’t hurt as well.

Read up on the common cases in the clinics. You should always strive to arrive in the clinics knowledgeable and eager. Easier said than done, but do try.

In the Trenches

Manila, 1941: The first “Women Guerilla” corps (theatlantic.com)

It is hard to describe how the typical day of a medical intern goes. Your day will either be benign, in between, or in hell. The level of “toxicity” will depend on the rotation, as some rotations are more demanding than others as you will learn; on your team mates, as you will see them at their best, and at their worst; and on yourself, as you will also be at your best and at your worst.

Expect anything, and expect everything.

The experiences you will face here will be unique. I have found some common tenets to live by to survive. Some of these I learned from my mentors, some I learned by making mistakes. I’d like to credit Dr. Miggy Unabia for some of them as well, as I based some of these from a post he wrote for us before our clerkship year started:

Think of the patient first. It is our vow to put our patient’s welfare and well-being first before anything else. I know I wrote earlier to take care of yourself, but you will have to accept that you will make a lot of sacrifices from here on onward. You will feel dizzy of hunger, you will feel irritable of thirst, you will complain of sleep deprivation, you will feel the need to pee but can’t, you will feel depressed and burnt out. The patient feels twice, thrice, or more suffering that what you’re suffering. They look to you for help. They may not show gratitude. They may even shout at you and curse you. You will feel frustrated. Yet our promise to serve humanity is our ultimate purpose.

Be civil to everyone. Clerkship will put you in close proximity to people. People who you respect and will most likely refer patients to in the future. People who disgust you and feel disappointed for. People who you will work with for a year, or possibly a lifetime. We had this story of an intern who was approached by an old lady, dressed in simple clothing, who was asking about a patient. The intern, who was under stress at the time, was brusque in his reply, only to be met by the seething bite of an offended consultant.

Don’t be a doormat. Then again, don’t be afraid to stand up for what is right. If there is a problem, isolate the person you have a problem with, and fix it among yourselves. Never humiliate anyone. Sadly, there are some people you can never seem to get along with. You can’t please everyone, and you will have to accept this fact. At some point, you will need to hurt some people to avoid a lot of pain in the future. At some point, you will need to call out the bullshit on your colleagues to make them better doctors.

Have initiative. Clerkship is the best time to learn how to be a great doctor. Use all of your senses. Observe how physicians you admire communicate with the patients, and discard the bad behavior of those who do not. Ask questions (In a respectful way! In the right setting!), occasionally challenging your consultants. Read the patient charts, get to know their cases, read up on their disease. Update yourself on their clinical course. Take a look at the patients, politely examine them, talk to them, see them as people. I would have to admit that my best teachers were my patients. I learned how to do effective colostomy care from Ms. GO, how to act when suspecting a stroke from Mr. ME, how to analyze psychosocial conflicts from the AG twins. When I see a case, I see the patients I had the chance to meet. Meet as many patients and doctors as you can, and learn from them.

Have a sense of urgency. This is a job where your actions can mean life or death, and a minute could be minute too late. I think it is best that when you are confronted with a task, assess its importance and urgency, and prioritize accordingly. The Eisenhower matrix is a good means for decision making in this setting, and I recommend you to study it as a guide.

Endorse properly. Proper endorsement is an art that I admit I still need to develop. At first, you will endorse poorly, but over time, you will learn how communicate properly as a doctor to another doctor. There is nothing more irritating in the medical world than to receive an endorsement of a patient who is relayed to you as just a room number and the type of monitoring interval required. Go beyond that. Your goal is to make the patient be seen not as a case, but as a person. Also, it wouldn’t hurt to give written endorsements just to remove any further misunderstanding and make your instructions clear.

Always consult with your superiors before doing any major interventions. At this point in time, you will be the grunt in the war, so you’ll have a lot of superiors breathing down your neck. Always inform them of the status of the patients, and if you have any interventions you plan to do, especially those concerning administering medications and any invasive procedures. You don’t have a license yet, so it is wise to ask, no matter how stupid the question may be; a life depends on it. Besides, your superiors have their own superiors too, and if you mess up, you’ll get them into trouble. Keep the peace and choose your battles wisely.

Move Out!

Waters off Palawan, 2015: Armed Forces of the Philippines board a landing craft air cushion

This year you will discover yourself. You will marvel at how you are able to stand without eating or sleeping for hours. You will marvel at your ability to go to work even when you’re sick. You will pull out creative solutions out of nowhere when everything seems hopeless. You will be frustrated for your mistakes and your failures. You will be burnt out and you will be depressed. You will feel like your life is not going anywhere, that you are stuck in the rut in the gears of life.

You will make a difference in the lives of other people.

You will become a great doctor.

gettyimages.com

Never forget this year. This year, you are the grunt, at the bottom of the food chain. As much as it is hard to admit, the caring profession is unfortunately uncaring to those who practice it. There will be times when you will feel injustice done against you by other doctors, by the staff, by your colleagues. You will feel frustrated and disappointed in yourself, in others, and in your profession. You will feel anger and sadness at this reality. Discard their ways and use them as a guide on what not to be on your way to becoming a physician.

It is time to change the uncaring culture of Medicine, and it begins with you. This is the time not only to learn how to be a great doctor, but also to develop yourself into a decent human being. Become the doctor the world desperately needs: a doctor with a sharp and focused mind, gentle and caring hands, and a compassionate and understanding heart.

You will meet the best people and mentors this year. You will be inspired by their ability to keep calm under pressure, their unending vitality and vigor despite their lack of food or sleep, their warm and gentle guidance to you and to their patients. They will treat you as equals, and will listen to your opinions. They espouse the highest form of excellence and deserve the respect and love we give unconditionally. Use them as your guides towards progress and growth. Seek to become like them, and beyond.

I wish you all the luck and strength and wisdom for your fourth year! I will see you along the way.

Then you in death know not what was at stake
For the dawn only shows her face
To those who choose to meet her gaze
And Fortune only flirts with those she finds
Ambitious, willing, lustful for the kinds
Of things men can never dream
When the wind blows as if to scheme
When the rain falls as if to cloud
When the storm screams as if to cast doubt
Stay awake, stay awale, stay awake;
Stay your mark, stay your course, stay awake.