Contents

Plot

It's Valentine's Day, and all the friends are busy on the love market.

Joey has a beautiful date for the night before Valentine's Day, but she insists that they double date with her friend, so Joey pulls Chandler along. Chandler, who has no idea who he'll be hooking up with, meets his doom, Janice. Both are mad at their friends and at themselves for meeting each other again, but when Joey gives Chandler his credit card so that he can leave with his date, things take a forward step. What Chandler doesn't foresee is that he ends up sleeping with Janice. This new relationship does not last long, as he breaks up with her the next day at the coffee house; however, she's fine with this, because she knows Chandler will keep looking for her as he loves her, and he calls after her "Call me!" as she leaves the coffee house. Janice has had candy hearts printed with "Chan and Jan Forever."

Ross also gets a date--his first one since his divorce with Carol--with a beautiful neighbor of his named Kristen. Unfortunately for Ross, Carol and Susan also dine at the same Japanese restaurant and are seated at the same grill table. Ross focuses his attention on Carol rather than his date. When Susan leaves on an emergency, Ross insists that Carol move to his end of the table. His date, Kristen, already uncomfortable with her date's ex at the same table, slips away, leaving Ross alone with Carol. The two reminisce about the good times they had together and share a kiss. However, Carol points out how things have changed, and consoles Ross by assuring him that he'll soon meet someone right for him.

Phoebe, Rachel and Monica spend the holiday burning mementos of their past boyfriends, including Rachel's Pete Carney, who always cried after sex, and Monica's Howard, the "I Win!" guy. However, things get out of control as Rachel pours Paolo's remaining grappa in the bonfire, which almost burns the apartment. The fire, in a way, is a good omen, as the girls get three cute firemen putting out the fire and asking them for drinks at the end of their shift. However, when they leave the apartment, they ask each other what are they going to tell their respective girlfriends and wives about what had happened.

Ross makes nerdy small talk by saying that a dog's jet lag is more significant because of the whole seven dog years to one human year thing, and says a three hour flight would seem like a week and a half to a dog. If it were true, a three hour flight would only seem like twenty-one hours.

Joey can't pee when he's nervous.

This episode is the first to feature Janice's trademark: "Oh my God!"

Quotes

Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, okay? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife's a lesbian, [he searches for another]. I don't think we need a third.

Monica: Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.

Joey: How do I look?Chandler: Oh, uh... [looks carefully] I don't care.

Kristen: Who are they?Ross: The blonde is my ex-wife. The woman touching her is her close personal friend.Kristen: You mean they're lovers?Ross: If you want to put a label on it.Kristen: Wow. Anything else I should know?Ross: Nope, nope...that's it. [Carol stands, revealing her belly bump] Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part.

Phoebe: Now we need the semen of a righteous man.Rachel: Okay, Phoebs, you know what? If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.