He'd better not take too many lovemaking lessons from porn. (Shutterstock)

(Newser)
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Porn’s been getting a bad rap of late for turning men into bad lovers. But it’s really the guys’ fault, not the porn, writes Cord Jefferson. A Nielsen survey reports that a third of visitors to XXX websites are women, so clearly porn itself isn’t a definitive turn-off. But women tend to favor lesbian porn, a female friend tells Jefferson, because “we'd rather watch footage of women actually enjoying themselves, not being sexually exploited by some hairless dude."

The male mistake is to take porn too literally, forgetting that it is fantasy, fuel for real-life sensuality, Jefferson writes for Nerve. "I think where men make the mistake is when they try to make those fantasies into realities,” another female friend tells Jefferson. At best, porn can help two partners communicate what they like and don't like. "You'll learn far more from each other than from the porn," notes the female editor of the skin site Fleshbot.