Fraternity Hockey Teams Rack Up Hilarious List Of Violations During Intramural Game

Depending on where you go to school, intramural hockey is a big deal. In the midwest and northeast, it’s the only medium, other than being the owner of awe-inspiring, visibly stunning flow, through which you can convince others that you are actually good at hockey. “Not drafted to the NHL already? Not playing juniors? Not on your college team? Dude must be a bender” is the preconceived notion you must defend yourself against in today’s society via achieving intramural hockey greatness.

Of course, there’s more to being cool in intramural hockey than the simple dangle, snipe, celly combo that’ll get you noticed in the pros. You’re competing against a whole other team of dudes with something to prove, and sometimes things can get blatantly, gloriously braggadocious and over-the-top in nature — which is what happened in this Greek intramural game between Phi Delt and “League of Shadows,” two fraternity hockey teams at a name-redacted northeastern university.

It’s pretty busch league of the IM refs to report these run-of-the-mill IM hockey happenings as “violations.” I wasn’t even there, and I can think of some pretty solid reasons behind why these fraternities committed some of these so-called transgressions.

Street shoes on the ice – Those were actually his skates; the blades had just been removed to properly allineate some pre-game locker room cocaine.

Helmets off on the bench – Scalp health is important. You gotta keep the lettuce fresh.

Simulating a fight – Better than actually fighting, right?

Fans climbing on the glass from the stands – It was either that or get stadium crushed against the glass. Did you see that arena-filling crowd?

Dip spit on the ground by the bench – This one actually does bother me. Stick the tobacco between your toes like real hockey players, you pussies.

Hopefully one of these two raucous teams goes on to capture the IM championship. #BecauseItsTheTShirt.