Yeezus Honeymoon Period Ends as Critics Suddenly Remember Kanye West is a Terrible Person

It’s been an exciting week for America’s favorite douchebag Kanye West, with the release of not only his Kardashian lovechild North, but also his much anticipated new album Yeezus, which “leaked” last week to overwhelmingly positive reviews.

I mean shit, even the snobby assholes over at Pitchfork gave the album a 9.5 and slapped it with a “Best New Music” award. And these are the people who once gave a 2.0 rating to a Nine Inch Nails album. You know what? Fuck Pitchfork.

When the weekend rolled around, however, critics began digging deeper into the album. Dorian Lynskey wrote up a solid review questioning some of Kanye’s lyrics and messaging. Among Lynskey’s least favorite lyrics are “Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign” (nice!) and “I call that apartheid,” referring to his wife and mistress being forced to sit on opposite sides of the basketball court at an NBA game (Courtside Apartheid? Also, what wife and mistress? Kim Kardashian doesn’t count).

Spin’s David Marchese also didn’t buy into many of the album’s messages, stating: “I rationally understand that ‘Black Skinhead’ and ‘I Am a God’ say things about race and fame that are rarely said by high-profile people with massive audiences. I just don’t think that fact alone makes the stuff crazy-interesting, let alone enjoyable.”

Both Lynskey and Marchese provide an interesting perspective in a world where critics never seem to grow tired of Kanye (speaking of which, I found another reason to hate Pitchfork!). I mean come on, this is where his ego comes from–how will he ever stop being such a fucking obnoxious jackass when we keep sucking his metaphorical dick? I swear, any baby that’s a product of Kanye’s ego and Kim Kardashian’s…whatever…is going to be the most annoying little bastard on the planet when he grows up.
All jokes aside, Kanye’s pretty talented, and the album isn’t total shit. In fact, it’s probably one of my favorites since his debut The College Dropout, and as you’re probably aware, features four Daft Punk-produced tracks. If you’re looking for a few drunken headbangers, Yeezus is a blast. But if you’re looking for something genuine with an actual attempt at a message, Yeezus might not be for you. “Which means you’re a hater and have no understanding of what I’ve created or the MUSICAL GENUIS THAT I AM.”