The sporting history of these islands is a long and rich tapestry of success and failure. The 1950’s were a particularly significant time in that both Football and Cricket produced outstanding teams. The Hungarians arrived at Wembley Stadium in 1953, with the novel idea of passing the ball with the side of the foot accurately and at the right velocity to a fellow team mate and then moving into an empty space to receive the return pass. Unsurprisingly, the England team found themselves unable to deal with such an underhand tactic and lost 6-3. At the same time, across London, one of the finest cricket teams to ever exist were in the process of winning one of their seven consecutive County Championships. The success of Surrey, at this time, was, in no small way, due to the skill and dexterity of their “spin twins”: Lock and Laker. Jim Laker was a fine exponent of the art of off-spin, using flight, guile, and prodigious turn. The more cynical observer might be tempted to say that the only resemblance the Dulwich 7th XI off-spinner has to Jim Laker is the fact that they share the same christian name. On the other hand, the more attuned and observant spectator might reflect on the surprising similarities between the two. Although Jim Gibson did not take 19 wickets in a Test Match against Australia it cannot be forgotten that he did once take 7 for 39 for the Dulwich Sunday 3rd XI in 1973 against Grindlay’s Bank using the same techniques that Laker employed so successfully against the baggy greencaps.

Today’s game at the DSG was the first one played with the new “Scorehut”. It must be said that this new facility does not compare favourably with the scoreboard found at the Sydney Cricket Ground. This monument to comprehensiveness supplies the names and individual scores of all participants. It will even tell you on which day of the week is late night shopping in Sydney and where the nearest urinal may be found. The scorehuts at the DSG will simply tell you the score and the number of overs bowled. However, your correspondent overheard a conversation yesterday which suggests these new score huts have the benefit of a versatility of use that the Sydney scoreboard lacks. 2 members of the Dulwich 7th’s (who, for obvious reasons, must remain anonymous) were heard discussing the possibility of using these structures to further the carnal dimensions of a clandestine relationship they may be having with a member of the opposite sex. The word “Shagbox” was coined on more than one occasion during this conversation. It is to be hoped that the new scorehuts are not subjected too frequently to this secondary use and that the participants will remove all traces of their visit(s). Your correspondent is aware that a certain exasperation may be creeping in to the reader’s mind at this point, and so he will move on to actually reporting today’s match.

Dulwich took the field for the first time this season under elected Captain Smith. The current fad for pre-match on-field “huddles” was exercised and the team gathered round to hear Smith’s words of insight and inspiration, especially as the team had lost so ignominiously last week to the same opposition. The situation was not entirely dissimilar to the disciples attending the Last Supper. The team crowded round Captain Smith to hear what pearls of wisdom, inspiration and insight he may be offering:

“The bar will be open tonight and will be selling Meantime Pale Ale in small green bottles”. Unsurprisingly, a note of incongruity chimed at this moment. A look of puzzlement spread across the other members of the team. Are these the words that Jardine or Brearley used when preparing their teams to do battle with our ancient antipodean foes? I think not. One can only surmise that in this day of rampant and incessant commercial exploitation, Smith has entered into some shady sponsorship deal with the Meantime Brewery. The reader (if he has actually got this far?) may draw his own conclusions.

And so, to the game itself: it will come as no surprise to regular readers of Dulwich 7th Match Reports that the team quickly found itself in the toils. Osborne and O’Higgins found themselves dispatched to various parts of the DSG by openers Gibbons and Pett. O’Higgins is a saxophone player of prodigious talent and skill and leaves one speculating on why such skill has not translated itself to the Cricket field. But then again, one has to ask whether Courtney Pine or Coleman Hawkins ever learnt to bowl with reverse swing? I suspect not. O’Higgins was eventually replaced by Peters but this change made little impression on the serene progress of Gibbons and Pett. It was becoming clear to all, that Gibson would have to be brought into to the attack, despite the still shiny appearance of the ball. With his usual self-effacing reluctance, Gibson duly stepped up to the plate. An air of expectancy hung over the crowd. (Ed’s note: what bloody crowd? Reporter’s reply: if there was a crowd, there would have been an air of expectancy.) The crowd (imaginary or otherwise) were not to be disappointed. Gibson measured out his seven pace run, turned and bowled. His first ball floated innocently into the air, dipped, and bit into the pitch approximately 18 inches outside Pett’s off-stump. The ball continued on its way but changed direction by 45 degrees. Pett was suitably flummoxed and could only offer a half hearted flail at the ball. Gibson leapt in the air with glee only to find the ball missing Pett’s off-stump by a space as thin as the husk of an insect after it has been eaten by a spider. The reader will, no doubt, be pleased to hear that it is not your correspondent’s intention to describe every ball bowled by Gibson with quite the same attention to detail with which his first ball was described. In fact, the only other ball worthy of mention was that which finally made the breakthrough: Gibson lured Pett into a rash slash and it looked as if Griffiths was about to make a hash until he made a late dash and scooped the ball up one-handed, inches before it would have plummeted to the ground with a crash. The solicitor does not always display such gazelle-like athleticism on the field, but on this occasion he surpassed all expectations and received the well-deserved plaudits of the rest of the team. Dulwich’s elation was short-lived, however, as this only brought to the crease the redoubtable Lynch who then batted with consummate skill and scored 113.

Dulwich’s reply started optimistically enough with Griffiths and Solanki setting about the Amblers target of 268 like two small boys in a beach pedalo setting out for an oil tanker on the far horizon. The pedalo began to ship water, however, when Griffiths was caught and bowled by Dolby with only 20 runs on the board. Gibson and Solanki then showed no little skill in getting the pedalo moving through the gears with a series of well-essayed cuts and “nurdles” into the unguarded third man area. Unfortunately, their progress was halted by an unidentified injury to Solanki who retired hurt. Osborne then came and went, having been dismissed by a straight ball by the accurate Dolby. This brought the 7th’s own Mike Hussey to the crease. Nick Rochford (alias “Mr. Cricket”), in partnership with the resourceful all-rounder Gibson, stopped up the holes in the pedalo and the two of them found themselves in open water heading for the still distant target. Drinks were served with the score 105 for two. 20 overs were left. A “big ask” but not entirely unreasonable, given a fair wind and a favourable current. But then alas! the innings hit a submerged wreck when Davey penetrated Gibson’s hitherto reliable defence with an inswinging and late dipping yorker and the Dulwich innings foundered. Gibson had made 25 and Rochford a valiant 45 with a series of lusty drives and heaves but the last 6 Dulwich batsmen contributed 12 runs between them and the Dulwich innings folded with an ignominious 135 all out. Both sides retired to the bar to drink. Meantime Pale Ale.

It is to be hoped that better form will be found by Dulwich on their forthcoming Somerset tour.

Dulwich 147-7 lost to Orpington 151-2 by 8 wickets

After a good performance last week against Bexley, Dulwich were well beaten by a strong Orpington third team on a glorious May afternoon at DSG.

Losing the toss for the third successive week, Dulwich were inserted onto what was hoped would be a better middle pitch (a rare privilege of not being the lowest home team). While the seven’s bowling attack was being dispatched to all corners of London by Natwest, the reverse was happening on the middle pitch as openers Rice and Ebert got us off to a steady start against some tight, competent bowling. However, Tony was soon undone by some extra bounce and pouched in the slips. Malcolm Persaud followed soon after with the score on 27 and Matt Leng was timing the ball sweetly before a rush of blood saw him depart with Dulwich in some trouble on 50-3. Peter Rice fell for a patient 27, seemingly undone, by a little extra bounce. Ralph Tomlinson looked in good form, dancing down the wicket to smash the spinner back over his head a couple of times before being pinned leg before by the opposition skipper, Game.

Steve Johns was unfortunate to fall to an excellent catch low down at gully, which would have befitted a much higher standard game and Rochy also fell cheaply. At 94-7 with 12 overs left, it was already looking like we’d be watching plenty of the second team from the bar, but Richard Beeching (30*) and Matt Craig (25*) batted very sensibly and purposefully to lead us to a still below-par 147-7 – something to bowl at least.

Tevon Spencer bowled a bright opening spell in his first game of the season, while the excellently named Orpington opener, Prince Sterling, took a liking to the usually parsimonious Craig. With the opposition cruising at over 4 an over, JL turned to Beechy to reign in the scoring and look to make the breakthrough. Ralph made a great diving effort to catch the opener Sterling in the twenties, then Beechy had the other opener Davis caught at slip after a ricochet off Rochy’s arm. He was then unlucky to see a very fine nibble from Sterling go down before he had reached his fifty.

With Orpington seemingly strolling to victory, Matt switched ends and saw Ralph snaffle a catch to remove Smith and bring the score to 90-2. After drinks, Steve Johns was introduced to the attack seeking to repeat his recent prolific wicket taking and a further catch went down in his second over. However, he couldn’t weave a spell to beguile the batsman this time – Sterling (who has been playing in their first team this season) went on to score an unbeaten hundred as Dulwich were left to contemplate being comprehensively out-bowled, fielded and batted.

Dulwich paid their first ever visit to newly promoted Valley End in the Ryman Surrey Championship Division 2, but went down to defeat by 27 runs.

Dulwich put their opponents in to bat, a decision which immediately paid dividends with Tom Savill taking a wicket in his first over for the second week in a row. Chris Peploe then went on the attack, striking Savill for 5 fours in 2 overs. Valley End then raced to 66 runs from the first 133 overs before Peploe was dismissed for 43 from just 39 balls by Majeed Jehangir. The wicket sparked a collapse in which 5 wickets fell for just 22 runs in 10 overs with Jehangir taking 3 more to give him 4-19 off his first 8 overs. Mark Kelly took the other wicket to fall in an unchanged spell of 10 overs for 32 runs.

Andy Newbery led Valley End’s recovering sharing partnerships of 33 with skipper Keith Fisher, 42 with Alex MacQueen (who scored a quickfire 20 at a run a ball) and with Calum Pilcher before being last out for 52 off 72 balls. Jehangir finished with 5-37, Savill ended with 3-46 and Christ Lester took the last wicket as just reward for a spell of 1-22 from 8.1 overs. Valley End were all out for 195 off 47.1 overs.

Dulwich’s reply got off to a shaky start when Stuart Johnson dismissed both openers to reduce the batting side to 22-2 after 8.1 overs. Jehangir, with a run a ball 26, helped lift Dulwich to 60-3 after 16.1 overs before a bizarre dismissal saw him bowled and hit wicket with the same shot. Most of Dulwich’s remaining batsmen got starts, with 6 of them reaching double figures, but none of them was able to build an innings with James Soulsby’s 20 the highest score. Dulwich subsided to 168 all out in the 47th over to lose by 27 runs.

After last week’s abandonment, which has since been confirmed as being for shared points, the fives were ready to play. Our consistent selection policy being tested by high availability meant 10 (yes, 10) changes and a strong side on paper. The Surrey 4s had been called off so a few who might have been disappointed with the selection at least got a game of cricket.

Being our first outing in the league we were unsure what to expect from the opposition but suspected that Catford Wanderers would be aggressive with the bat. We lost the toss and were asked to bowl in cold, windy and overcast conditions. Mangal Nasiri and Simon Bailey opened the bowling and both started reasonably well. We took a couple of early wickets but also dropped a very tough chance at slip. The comment was more that four runs had been saved.

Their opener stuck around and each batsmen who came to the crease seemed to have a lot of bottom hand and a desire to smack the ball to the boundary. Veryan Boscawen replaced a tiring Mangal and the skipper replaced the steady (left handed Matt Craig) Bailey. Veryan created chances and Tim tied the batsmen in knots to start with. But at drinks with three down a score of 200 plus looked likely.

After drinks they got a hold of Brown and destroyed his figures. Stefan Begg under the watchful eye of his father (umpiring on their day off from playing) mixed some unplayable good balls with some unplayable bad balls. We then returned to the Bailey and Nasiri show as we got their one batsmen who wanted to play a long innings out and then quickly demolished the lower order. 4 for 46 for Mangal, 3 wkts in a tight 12 overs for Simon Bailey , 2 for Stefan and 1 for Veryan. A pretty good bowling effort to bowl them out for 166 although the fielding could have been a little better. Sam Taylor being a calm efficient presence behind the stumps.

Alan Edwards was unable to open the innings as he had a suspected broken finger (x rays later showed that the digit was not broken but was still pretty sore as lots of people tried to help by pushing,prodding and tapping). That gave an early chance to Aled Griffiths on debut to show his ability. A few nice square cuts but then Aled was lbw to a ball that didn’t bounce much. Welcome to Dulwich pitches where you need to get forward.

Tom Bale then did the same, looked good and then got out to what he described as a not very good shot (the words have been changed slightly to protect more sensitive readers). Manish Nanda had opened and was joined by Tarun Mahey and they started to exert some dominance.

Manish made 39 and then departed with the third honest summary by an outgoing batsmen. Rare in this day and age I thought people never thought they were out or that it might be their fault!!

Veryan then joined Tarun with almost 90 required and they both batted very well to make sure we had an easy win by 7 wickets. Tarun ended up on 59 not out as he made his first of hopefully many fifties At the club. Playing very patiently but also dispatching the bad ball. Veryan weighed in with 39 not out in a partnership to complete a strong all round performance.

@MitchamCC@DulwichHamletFC@OfficialTmufc@MitchamCC our u12s were disappointed that their 2017 game at Cricket Green was washed out; believe our u14s and u16s are playing you there this summer, looking forward to it. We should try and get a girls’ game on at a venue with such a proud history of hosting women’s cricket!

Please note that due to floor replacement at Dulwich College Sports Centre there are no indoor nets this Sunday, 18th March. We await confirmation about the 25th March. Keep an eye on e-mails and website.

@PROACTIVE_Swk@lb_southwark Exciting times as all four teams in the semifinals hail from south of the river (Richmond sort of as it’s both sides of the river). Southwark play Greenwich and Bromley take on Richmond.....

In south London? Like cricket? Lewisham cricket winter training resumes tomorrow, ages 8-14, any level, all welcome, new players particularly so. Very nice set of coaches. Based in SE6. @ me for full details