Family

Return to Common Sense

June 18, 2016

Section: Culture
– Family

“Traditional marriage as the central building block prevents
behavioral problems in boys and psychological problems in girls, but single-parent
families are concentrat­ed among blacks and the less educated while hardly
occurring at all among women with a college degree.”

“My criticism is
that the gay movement isn’t just asking for civil rights; it’s
asking for recognition and acceptance of an alternative lifestyle which I do
not believe society can condone, nor can I.”
Ronald Reagan

Philosophy
(Background, Issues, Objectives):

Marriage is the cornerstone of the
family, the ideal union of one man and one woman and the ideal environment for
childbearing and childrearing.

The
“traditionalist” view is the legal recognition of marriage that
restricts the unions to a man and a woman.

oThe
norms of marriage apply to maximal experiential union where a couple’s
relationship is permanent, each party will share more of his or her life with
the other than if they separate, and the expectation of permanence will give
rise to a quality
of no-holding-back.

oThe
traditionalist assumes a couple is a “reproductive
unit” intrinsically valuable whether or not a couple reproduce.

oCoitus
achieves bodily union since the kind of act that is reproductively oriented
that the relationships of infertile couples, but not those of same-sex couples,
are potentially marital.

oThe
“revisionist” understands
marriage as only a “maximal experiential union” composed of two
persons’ sharing each other’s lives.

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was
signed into law by Bill Clinton in 1996.

oMarriage is designed to nurture procreation and
child rearing.

oThe
purpose of the law was to keep states that allow gay marriage from forcing these
marriages on other states, under the Full Faith & Credit clause of the US
Constitution.

o42 states have laws that preserve the
traditional definition of marriage, either by state constitutional amendment
and/or by statute.

oThirty-seven
states have their own Defense of Marriage Acts, while 32 states have
constitutional amendments protecting traditional marriage.

§The
bill also includes a definition of “marriage”:
the word `marriage’ means only
a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word `spouse’ refers only to a person of
the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.

oIn
2013, the Supreme Court ruled that DOMA was unconstitutional as federalism
over-reach.

Marriage is deeply rooted in all societies.

oWhile the ceremony for religious and secular
marriages differs, the meaning has always been similar.

oMarriage protects and promotes the wellbeing of
children.

Civil Rights Act of 1963 has undermined the black family.

oBy
2005 out of wedlock birth rates among blacks increased from 23.6% to nearly
70%.

§By 2005 out of wedlock birth rates among whites
increased from 3.1% to 25.3%.

oFamily
breakdown then compounded the problem by condemning children to poverty.

Partners who cohabit with intention of marrying share many
characteristics of married people.

oPartners
who cohabit without the intention of marrying often have short relationships
with few benefits.

oMen
and women who cohabit are more likely to experience partner abuse and
infidelity.

oParenting
role of cohabiting partner is vaguely defined, making unstable living
arrangement for children.

o50%
of children born to cohabiting parents saw their parents
part by age 5, compared with only 15% of children born to married parents.

In marriages partners often specialize their skills, enabling
accomplishing more as a team.

oResearch shows mothers and fathers spend equal time
on work endeavors, including paid and unpaid.

Family is the basic building block of
society.

Rome’s great orator and statesman, Cicero, declared marriage
was the “first bond of society”

oMarriage
has been both the cornerstone and keystone of civilized societies, while sexual
promiscuity has been a corrosive, destructive force weakening a civilization.

o“Cultures
that were more sexually permissive displayed less cultural energy, creativity,
intellectual development and individualism, and a slower general cultural
ascent.”

The
family type we have in the U.S. is technically called the Absolute Nuclear
Family:

oAdult children choose their own spouses, without arranged
marriages;

oAdult children leave their parents home to form a new, independent
family in a new home;

oThe parents do not have a duty to leave their property to any
child, and they may sell it during their lives or leave it by will to anyone
they choose;

oChildren have no duty to provide for their parents; and

oExtended families are weak and have no control over personal
decisions.

College educated parents and their kids are
flourishing not only due to educational advantages, but because the
parents are more likely to be in a stable marriage.

Married families have higher incomes.

oIn
2000 government spent more than $150 billion subsidizing single parent
families.

oWhile
marriage may not be a cure for poverty, it does turn out to be a fairly
reliable preventative.

Married people are more than twice as likely to be happy as
divorced or never married individuals.

o71%
of Americans say growth in births of unwed mothers is a “big
problem.”

o69%
of Americans think a child needs a home with both a father and a mother.

o66%
of Americans say a single woman with children is a trend that is bad for
society.

oThe
above three findings are the same regardless of age, race, and education.

American birth rate is 2.11 births per woman, right at the
replacement level;

Children in intact families are less likely to be depressed,
difficulty in school, behavior problems.

oChildren
from homes with fathers are nine times more likely to graduate.

o71%
of dropouts come from fatherless homes.

o92%
of children whose families make more than $75k live with two parents.

oOnly
20% of children whose families make less than $15k live with two parents.

In 2007 40% of all American children are born outside marriage.

oOnly
7% of children of mothers with college degrees are born out of wedlock.

oThe
out-of-wedlock birth rate among women who drop out of high school is 15%.

oThe
out-of-wedlock birth rate among African-American women is 67%.

oBoys
who are raised by single mothers are twice as likely to end up in prison by age
32.

oGirls
who are born outside of marriage are three times as likely to have a teenage
pregnancy.

oTeens
born outside of marriage are about twice as likely to drop out of high school.

Aid to Families with Dependent Children required father leave to
qualify to receive taxpayer benefits.

Child marriage is defined as marriage carried out
below the age of 18.

Arranged marriages can be made for toddlers and babies.

In the developing world child marriage can occur shortly after
puberty.

Girls living in poor households are approximately twice as likely
to marry before 18.

US divorce rate more than doubled between
1960 and 2000.

At least three factors underlie the decline of marriage in the
U.S.: culture, welfare policy, and civic change.

oA more live-and-let-live
relationship mentality has arisen that makes individuals much less
likely to prioritize marriage.

oWelfare policy
also affects marriage trends, but not as big a role as suspected.

oThe class-related marriage
gap is related to the disengagement of less-educated Americans in
particular from the institutions of civil society, including religion.

In 2006 48% of all first marriages end in divorce.

oWives
precipitate two-thirds to three quarters of all divorces and separations.

oDivorce
rate dropped to 16.5% (first married 1990-1994) among college graduates.

oDivorce
rate has risen to 38% (first married 1990-1994) among high school graduates.

According to Eurostat, the probability of
marriage before age 50 has been plummeting, while the chance of divorce
for those who do marry has been soaring.

Japanese women born in 1990 stands less
than even odds of getting married and staying married to age 50.

From South Korea to Singapore, China is
rimmed by countries where marriage is being postponed, or increasingly
forgone; where networks of extended kin are withering ue to extreme
sub-replacement fertility; and where childlessness is on the rise.

In Muslim majority societies, a flight from
marriage within the Arab world is in process, led by masses who wish to
bend or break the rules of family life to which their mothers had
submitted.

The government has no role in regulating and institutionalizing sexual
activity.

The government role is
restricted to exceptions of consanguinity (close blood relations), use of
force and victimization, commercial trafficking of sexual favors, and
exploitation of minors.

Those who choose to cohabit in
non-traditional relationships have ample options for formalizing their
arrangements through the private contract process, which government
enforces but does not sanction.

Marriage licenses exist as government
recognition of the unique procreative potential of heterosexual
relationships.

oA
failure of the procreators to act as proper guardians forces the government to
build safety-net systems for children whose parents either cannot or will not
provide for them.

oMarriage
provides a structure for assigning responsibility for children potentially
produced by heterosexual relations.

oIt
fixes responsibility for paternity on the husband, regardless of who may have
fathered the children during a marriage.

Statistics of the fatherless family tell
a depressing story:

Children in single
parent households are more likely to be poor:

oIn
2002, 7.8% of children in married-couple families were living in poverty,
compared to 38.4% of children in mother-only household families.

oDuring
the year before their babies were born, 43% of unmarried mothers received
welfare or food stamps, 21% received some type of housing subsidy, and 9%
received another type of government transfer (unemployment insurance etc.).

oFor
women who have another child, the proportion who receives welfare or food
stamps rises to 54%.

oA
child with a nonresident father is 54% more likely to be poor than his or her
father.

Compared to peers living
with both parents, kids in single parent homes had:

oa 77% greater risk of being
physically abused.

oan 87% greater risk of being
harmed by physical neglect.

oa 165% greater risk of
experiencing notable physical neglect.

oa 74% greater risk of
suffering from emotional neglect.

oan 80% greater risk of
suffering serious injury as a result of abuse.

ooverall, a 120% greater risk of
being endangered by some type of child.

Crime, substance abuse,
and self-harm are more prevalent:

o63%
of youth suicides are from fatherless homes, 5 times the average.

o90%
of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes; 32 times the average.

o85%
of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes; 20
times the average;

o80%
of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes; 14 times the
average;

o71%
of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes; 9 times the average;

o75%
of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes;
10 times the average;

o70%
of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes; 9 times
the average;

o85%
of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes; 20 times
the average.

Children in single
parent households tend to have more behavior issues:

oFatherless
children are at much higher risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness,
suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality.

oMost
abused children come from fatherless homes; only 1/3 abused kids lived with
both biological parents.

o50%
of child abuse cases are committed by single mothers.

oFatherless
children are at dramatically greater risk of suicide..

oFatherless
boys have much more trouble establishing appropriate sex roles and gender
identity.

o80%
of youth psychiatric patients are from fatherless homes.

oFatherless
children are less cooperative and score lower on IQ tests.

oFatherless
kids exhibit significantly more conduct problems, and daughters have higher
rates of anxiety or depression.

o“Father
hunger” often afflicts boys age 1-2 whose
fathers are suddenly and permanently absent. Sleep disturbances, nightmares/
night terrors frequently begin within one to three months after the father
leaves home.

oChildren
of never-married mothers are more than twice as likely to have been treated for
an emotional or behavioral problem.

oFatherless
children are more likely to have been expelled or suspended from school, to
display emotional problems, and to engage in antisocial behavior.

oResearchers
observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mother-only
households than from boys in mother-father households.”

o80%
of adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from broken homes.

oViolent
school kids are 11 times more likely to live without their fathers and
six times more likely to have unmarried parents.

o43%
of prison inmates are fatherless; 14% lived in households without either
biological parent; and 14% spent some of their childhood in a foster home,
agency or other juvenile institution.

o72%
of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers; 60% of America’s rapists
grew up the same way.

oOnly
13% of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mother
and father are married to each other. By contract, 33% have parents who are
either divorced or separated and 44% have parents who were never married.

oFatherless
teenage boys are more likely to be incarcerated for delinquent offenses and
also manifest worse conduct while incarcerated.

o70%
of juveniles in state reform institutions grew up fatherless.

oFatherless
males engage in twice as much criminal activity, which triples if their
neighborhood has a high concentration of single-parent families.

Homosexuals have claimed a
“right” not supported by our Constitution.

Only six states and the District of Columbia currently (2012) issue
marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

The totality of scholarly research on
homosexuality indicates gayness is much more socio-cultural than
biological.

A Canadian study acknowledged that gays and lesbians are at
higher risk for a number of deadly diseases and disorders that reduce the life
spans of gay and bisexual men by 20 years compared to the average man in
Canada:

TheDepartment of Justicereports that homosexuals are more likely (15.4%
of them) than heterosexual men (10.8%) to be physically attacked by a
domestic partner.

oThe DOJ found that 39% of cohabiting lesbians say
they have been raped, attacked, or stalked by a lover, as opposed to 21.7% of
heterosexuals who live with men.

oA lesbian is about twice as likely as a hetero
woman to be stalked or slapped around by a live-in lover.

Gays and lesbians commit suicide at a rate
from twice to 13.9 times more often than the general population.

Homosexual smoking rates are 1.3 to 3 times
higher than the general population.

Alcoholism rates among homosexuals are 1.4
to 7 times higher than the general population.

Illegal drug use is 1.6 to 19 times higher
among homosexuals than the general population.

Rates of depression are 1.8 to 3 times
higher among homosexuals than the general population.

There has been a backlash in Europe
promoting traditional family definition and values.

Strong pro-family governments have been elected in Latvia,
Slovakia, and Poland.

World Congress of Families has been convened in 1997, 1999, 2004,
and 2006.

The natural family has been promoted as the “Springtime of Europe and the World.”

In 2004 Sweden found that male homosexual couples were 50% more
likely, and female couples 167% more likely, to terminate their legal
relationships than were heterosexual couples to divorce.

Experiments with same-sex marriage in
other countries have had disastrous results.

Netherlands legalized same sex marriage for 5 years and key factor
in decline of Dutch marriage.

Scandinavia has recently legalized same sex partnerships in
Denmark, Sweden and Norway.

oScandinavians
view parenthood as test to see if out to get married.

Sweden has begun move to abolish marriage and replace with gender
neutral partnerships that would recognize multiple partner unions.

Principles:

The institution of marriage itself was not created, and thus can
not be redefined, by government.

Same-sex marriage has a
goal to set aside marriage altogether as a repressive and patriarchichal
anachronism.

Since American people
have rejected same-sex marriage, the strategy has switched to extending
the Equal Rights Amendment to include marriage “rights”

Marriage is a specific form of kinship with specific obligations:

Marriage is concerned above all with female
sexuality, protecting the child bearing partner from rape, degradation,
and concubinage.

Marriage impose a set of rules that
determines not only whom one may marry, but, more important, whom one may
not marry.

Marriage changes the nature of sexual
relations between a man and a woman.

Marriage defines the end of childhood, sets
a boundary between generations within the same family and between
families, and establishes the rules in any given society for crossing
those boundaries.

Ten non-religious reasons to keep marriage traditional:

To reproduce, nature favors heterosexuality,
not homosexuality.

Nature teaches us to build the family unit and
honor gender differences.

The essence of marriage isthe: permanent and exclusive
covenant and union of one male and one female who consummate their
monogamous commitment by their unique sex act, which is capable (or
potentially capable) of producing a child.

Preserving traditional marriage is a virtue,
not "homophobia" or
bigotry.

Upholding standards against other redefinitions
is necessary.

Unmarried civil union is a fair and reasonable
compromise.

Recommendations:

Defend and strengthen traditional marriage
and the family in federal and state law and policies.

Embrace the conjugal view of marriage as a comprehensive union,
based on the anthropological truth that men and women are distinct and
complementary; on the biological fact that reproduction requires and man
and a woman; and on the sociological reality that children benefit from
having a mother and a father.