I do not believe that someone becomes mentally ill by believing in an angry God, but rather it exasperates the person's condition. I see that while you may suffer from OCD, the idea that God may not accept you as "clean" and is angry may contribute to the need to have things clean and orderly. I have seen on a personal level people who "hatefully" abuse others in the name of love. They seem to think that attacking others is a way to bring them into a right relationship with God. However, if you believe God may just bring the hammer (or strike you with lightening) for your sins, they missed the whole point of the Cross and Resurrection. I began to understand that God was angry with sin in humanity but has never gone back on His proclamation that His creation, humanity, is nothing other than good. I have a working theory on how we as humans live in what I call the collective insanity of humanity (catchy huh?). Meaning that there is a reality that is "in Christ" and a false reality we choose to live in by choosing our fallen state instead. The origin of this thought comes from re-reading the "curse" of Adam and Eve as not a punishment, but rather of consequence. God gave Adam and Eve a chance to come clean yet they choose to live in shame instead. I also began to realize how this is true as I began to study a family member's illness who possibly has schizophrenia. She lives in a false reality that is "true" to her. She hears the voice that no one else does, thus in her mind it is real. However it is a false reality as there are no real voices to be heard. These observations have set me on some interesting twists in my own theology and how I see many of the stories in the OT as well as the NT. However, it has also opened me up to loving those who suffer mental illness in a deeper way. It does seem that often an angry person who believes in an angry, wrathful, God, becomes like the God he or she believes in. It also seems that there is a major impairment in reading comprehension and compassion to the point that the person cannot accept that God could possibly love others if they are not exactly as they believe their God requires. It also seems that he or she has a need to point out worse "sinners" as a means to show that they are not as bad as that in hopes they have a chance at judgment day. Over all, it is a sad condition and my prayers go out for those who suffer in this way.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

I found this picture on G+ today and really related to it. There
are those days when it feels like “I can’t even” and I need to learn how to “even”
or “literally even”. Those are the hardest days to rest in Jesus. The irony is
these are the type of days one needs to step back and see what God is doing. One
must also realize that just maybe, you are not supposed to “even”.

Often we try to make our faith bigger, stronger, faster, or something God may
not desire it to be. Sometimes a “I can’t even” just may be a way to humble us
so that we ask God who can. It is not easy to deal with frustration, believe me
I know that as a parent. However, if we look at those “I can’t even” days as a
moment to pause and listen, or just rest a moment there maybe that “God Factor”
that is hidden within our own frustration and weakness.

Friday, October 03, 2014

I started
this blog way back in 2004, which means I have blogged for 14 years. Well, my
last entry was in June 2014 though it was to sell a couple of tee shirt, which,
by the way did not sell. Over the last ten years, it has been an amazing
journey of self-discovery as well as finding some great friend as well as
finding some very mean people. If you have been a consistent reader over the years,
you probably have seen me gain much better writing skills as well as work out
some heavy topics. You have read about the birth of my son and daughter. You have
read about my immersion into the Emerging Movement. You read about my struggles
with those who commented only to condemn me to hell, prayed for me after
reading about my stoke, as well as felt my frustration after my assault where
the three men who assaulted me were not brought to justice, and how I have chosen
to forgive instead of go after them.

It has been
an eventful 14 years.

One reason I
decided to blog was that I enjoyed writing. When I decided to go back to school,
I found that it took care of my writing desire, as I had to write paper after paper.
So, many of the last posts have been school papers. I hope these papers have
been good reading. I have even self-published one paper as a short book via
Amazon.com.[1] I
believe it to be the ugliest cover a book could ever have! LOL! The book covers
the history of the word “Logos” giving the behind the scenes overview as to why
John chose to use that word. OK, enough of the self-promotional plug, though if
anyone is interested in buy the tee-shirts let me know and I will get the
campaign up and running again—you just need to get around 20 friends to also
buy one.

Well, this
brings me to the “why” of this post. I guess it is a self-challenge of sorts. I
am challenging myself to write one blog post a weak. This will not count my
other blogs such as the infamous ODMafia site that is also being revamped by my
good Canadian friend TruthSlayer. So, if you have a blog, or just want to write
leave a comment that you also want to pick up this challenge. I hope this
rekindles that love for writing for you as well as for me.