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Monday, July 4, 2011

In A Mood

So I met with Dr. W. briefly today. She's the doctor who will be taking over as my 'primary' while Dr. S. is on vacation (in the Caribbean, where he doesn't even want to be because he doesn't like the heat...Poor him. I feel like saying 'TRADE YOU! You stay here and lie in bed and bake this baby while worrying constantly about the outcome, while I go relax on the beach'. I don't want to fucking HEAR a complaint about a vacation. Anyway...)

I'm in a real bitchy mood tonight and it might have something to do with the fact that I just got jabbed in my side with my first...wait for it...HEPARIN injection. First of many as they are given twice a day! So now, after 14 weeks of bed rest Dr. W and Dr. S. got together and decided to 'prevent DVTs' (blood clots in my legs) by putting me on heparin injections. That's right folks. We are only just now worried about blood clots. Never mind the 14 weeks of bed rest I've already done. When I questioned 'why are we doing this now after being on bed rest this long?', Dr. S.'s response was 'well now you're in the hospital, so you're probably moving around less'. Um...no...not really. I'm just laying in a less comfortable bed with crappier food and more monitoring. Same bed rest, different locale.

Now, I'm all for not getting blood clots. In fact, this was something I worried about 14 WEEKS ago, and even asked about trying to prevent (with heparin). I was blown off...just like everything else about this pregnancy was blown off initially because 'hey, the fetus isn't going to survive anyway'. So I just continued worrying about it on my own, and did my best to stretch and move as much as I could, beg my husband for massages, and ensure that I get up to pee regularly to a) empty my constantly full bladder and b) to ensure I was at least doing some regular movement.

No it's not the heparin injections that bother me. It's the timing. Today during rounds I made the 'mistake' of asking "so, I was wondering if I could get physio to work with me? I mean, since I'm on bed rest and I'm a high risk cardiac patient, I'd like to be doing SOMETHING to ensure I keep my strength up". You know what the answer was?? "Oh...we don't have physio on this unit. It was phased out 6 or 8 years ago due to budget constraints. They still have it on orthopedics...but not here".

(Jaw...meet floor) ???!!!!

You're telling me that a unit where ALMOST NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO GET OUT OF BED, POSSIBLY FOR MONTHS AT A TIME and you DON'T HAVE PHYSIO??? AT ALL?? EVER????

I was literally shocked (and once again impressed with the hospital I work at where if you need physio, you get physio...like the next day. Damn, children are taken much better care of!).

So instead of being able to provide physio for 'oh yeah, a high risk cardiac patient...yeah might not want her to get blood clots...', my Dr.'s have done the only thing they can...order heparin. Cheaper than physio. Stings more too.

I'm seriously going to be writing a letter to the administration after all this is said and done. I cannot believe some of the things they are lacking here. And some of the things they aren't. Each of the nurses carries a (brand new) iphone which they can receive calls from patients' call bells. It's handy for preventing a lot of those overhead pages (absolutely appreciated!), but seems a little extravagant when you expect patients to pay $70 a week for a TV. And serve the same shitty food for breakfast EVERY day. I understand capital vs. operating costs...but come on, one physiotherapist for a floor isn't a huge budget constraint. Sheesh.

Also while Dr. W. was in my room on rounds she mentioned that we might try for 35 weeks.

Uh...okay, I get that you're new to my situation here and maybe you didn't get the message...but HELLS TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm literally on pins and needles as we speak considering 'risking' the race from 32 to 34 weeks. You actually might have to sedate me for that period of time because I'm going to be MAJORLY stressed out. So no way do I want to 'try' for 35 weeks. I don't want to push our luck anymore than we already have. Yes, bigger is better...but not with all the other risk factors we are facing. I think I must have looked panic stricken and am pretty sure I said something like "Um, no. I'm done at 34", because Dr. W. looked a little taken aback at my response.

Fortunately when Dr. S. came in later he said he's on board with booking a C-section at 34 weeks. I said "that will be July 21st". His response was that he won't actually return from vacation until July 25th, so if we did it before then it wouldn't be him doing it. I wanted to laugh...um...sorry Dr. S., while I'm sure that would be a nice 'wrap up' for you to this whole 'interesting' pregnancy, I don't really consider you that integral to our kid's birth. Hell, you weren't there for Aidan's delivery and that somehow worked just fine (other than the quickly deadness of the baby). Just give me someone who can cut a nice line, lift my (screaming) kid out safely and hand him over to the NICU team, and then proceed to sew me up (staple me up?) quickly and neatly. M'kay?

Goodness gracious, Acorn. Mommy's in a mood tonight. Best try to sleep it off. Hopefully tonight we can avoid the 12:30am fire alarm like last night.

Found your blog, well .. not sure how and now I can't seem to stop in to check on you and your baby. In a way, it feels funny to keep checking in on you and not letting you know. I don't usually keep up with many blogs and certainly don't post a comment. But, something about the way you tell your story is compelling and keeps me coming back to see how you're doing. Wishing you the best.

Anyway...I hope that you do write a letter. You are very good with words and make several very valid points.

About the Heparin. I was actually thinking about asking you if they had a DVT preventative for you.... It makes me sad that they did not listen to you weeks ago. Obviously, nothing happened but it was very negligent for them to blow you off like that. Jerks.

Is there a way for you to watch DVDs? Do you need people to send DVDs? If so, I will do it!

Aidan's Egg

Aidan in a Rainbow

Aidan's Day Flower

Aidan in Candles

Aidan's Letters

Aidan's Cupcake

About Me

Married, early 30s, Registered Nurse, former and current congenital cardiac patient, difficult pregnancy, lost my son at 23 weeks + 3 days in 2010. Had another nail-bitter of a pregnancy in 2011, but my daughter arrived alive and is now healthy. Here is what follows.