Salon Editors: We Should Have Let The Axis Win

Following U.S. President Barack Obama’s inspiring visit to Hiroshima, it’s important to reconsider the most important lesson we’ve learned since the ending of WWII: we should have let the Axis win.

Bigots will no doubt try to factsplain the notion that Japan attacked the United States at Pearl Harbor first. It’s simply more of their typical use of historical privilege, justifying a tradition of victim blaming and vilification of minorities.

The only reason the aircraft that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima was named Enola Gay was so the military industrial complex could blame the dawn of the atomic age on the LGBT community. The American experiment has been nothing but a massive plot to denigrate protected classes.

Let’s be candid, it’s taken over 70 years for Americans to have a serious conversation about National Socialism and firmly divide people along racial lines. Thanks a lot “Allies.”

During that time, what has America actually done for the world? Given us an addiction to technologies dependent on fossil fuels? Domestic surveillance techniques? Patriarchy? The great American melting pot is more like a great American chop shop of appropriated culture.

In contrast, Germany is internationally known for their good will towards other nations, and Japan is one of the world leaders in technology. Think of where they could have been if we hadn’t held them back in 1945. The Cold War would never have happened under a one world government presided over by our Fuhrer and the divine leadership of the Emperor of the Rising Sun. No doubt the Soviet Union would have become a beacon of communist utopia without the incessant proxy conflicts instigated by the United States. Dicks.

It’s high time we admitted to ourselves the Axis powers were on the right side of history with their progressive ideals concerning the internment of the wealthy and confiscation of their property. Allied meddling has led us to a dystopian future decidedly lacking in Volkisch hentai anime and annual Kristallnacht holiday weekends. It’s a world we should be sad to live in.

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