Whenever somebody mentions this 21+ underage thing I feel like having grown up on another planet. I can't imagine what my life would have been like.
I'd like to think "better" but that's likely an illusion.

I might have been mostly sober even at 20 with different laws. But probably not.

I know right? The 21 thing is bullshit. Im old enough to work full time but not old enough to drink? The fuck is that shit? I wouldnt be surprised if people off themselves because of the law, Ive come way too close.

What happens to a lot of 19 year olds like me, is that they live a sheltered life, and then they meet a messed up girl who fucks them over hardcore and then they have to suffer in agony for 2 years before they can start drinking and meeting people.

like I kept wishing I lived in a city with a high concentration of netphorians for a long time but I realized I'd be just as alone and never see anyone
Like I mean I actually did and everyone was sick of me by the time I quit and went home
I am not somebody who can hold it together for more than a few hours at a time and generally even that's a stretch
In my case I think the government should have just went "nope" and had me snorted when my parents had the bright idea to have a kid in their 40s
Some of those Chinese ideas are not insane

I know right? The 21 thing is bullshit. Im old enough to work full time but not old enough to drink? The fuck is that shit? I wouldnt be surprised if people off themselves because of the law, Ive come way too close.

What happens to a lot of 19 year olds like me, is that they live a sheltered life, and then they meet a messed up girl who fucks them over hardcore and then they have to suffer in agony for 2 years before they can start drinking and meeting people.

Location: Now, I'm not a professional psychologist, but I am an amateur psychologist. And I think that your spontaneous eye-watering may have something to do with your father.

Posts: 28,692

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trotskilicious

not at all, because as far as offline...people fucking detest me. they pretend to like me and blow me off, i'm always alone. there's never any hope. any friends i do make get sick of me in like 3 years. i'm just a complete fuckup idiot what can i say

do most friendships last more than 3 years in general? i can only think of a few of mine that have.

I mean on the other hand I am still glad I have my three boards and my occasional twice a year visits in actual life with people from them
I can't imagine how much deeper in despair is be on a daily basis if I didn't get that as well as rack up likes and favs on the social media

Not to get all pseudo philosophical here... but I think that's exactly the sort of thing that people can spot/feel/hear/see. That you EXPECT them to turn away and are convinced they detest you eventually. How badly you judge yourself is nothing you can completely hide, and some people reflect that.

That is all my own little personal theory, of course. I had a good run at scaring people off. I tried to explain it to myself, and couldn't really put the finger on it. And I don't think anything major changed about me, other than that I was okay with being the fuck up I am. And suddenly not everybody ran off. Can't explain it any better, but I think you know all that.

if the reason is because i'm sad and awkward than fuck it i will kill myself eventually

Location: Now, I'm not a professional psychologist, but I am an amateur psychologist. And I think that your spontaneous eye-watering may have something to do with your father.

Posts: 28,692

Quote:

Originally Posted by pavementtune

Not to get all pseudo philosophical here... but I think that's exactly the sort of thing that people can spot/feel/hear/see. That you EXPECT them to turn away and are convinced they detest you eventually. How badly you judge yourself is nothing you can completely hide, and some people reflect that.

That is all my own little personal theory, of course. I had a good run at scaring people off. I tried to explain it to myself, and couldn't really put the finger on it. And I don't think anything major changed about me, other than that I was okay with being the fuck up I am. And suddenly not everybody ran off. Can't explain it any better, but I think you know all that.

It's not about drinking itself, it's about getting into Rock clubs and shit so I can meet people who are like me.

but you said you do need alcohol to talk to people right
i mean, i did that for a long time and yeah i was able to have a fairly active social life
but at the same time i remember nothing from those interactions so i don't think it was worth much
i mean i literally have no memory of the first time i slept with a guy
in a way i'm thankful for all that cause i was probably going to kill myself and didn't because of drugs