Preamble Hello. It's a stunning afternoon in London: the sun is shining and the #bantz is flowing around parks and beer gardens east and west. But enough of how the other half live, because we have a four-hour appointment in front of a computer screen for the second Twenty20 international between Pakistan and England. I think I know who's winning.

Parliamentary procedure This is certainly not cricket, but it's one of the greatest things on YouTube.

England have won the toss and will have two men on the field at the start of play rather than 11. That's a change from Thursday, when they decided to bowl first and were beaten by eight runs. England are unchanged, while Pakistan bring in Aizaz Cheema for Junaid Khan.

3.47pm "Sun is shining all right, but I guess I'll be indoors following the OBO, instead of having "bantz" (??) due to having the rugby on the telly," says Ravi Nair. "Sorry about that: I know we're not supposed to like any other sport, but it is Twickenham, and everything points to Wales taking us down so it should be enough to give me my daily/weekly dose of humiliation and self-loathing. In the cricket, on the other hand, we may even win. Not terribly English, that."

Do me a solid department Can anyone recommend a decent Saturday-night pub in Canterbury? I realise such a request may come across a bit Nathan Barley, and for that I apologise, but a man's gotta eat.

1st over: England 7-0 (Pietersen 5, Kieswetter 2) Pakistan open with the offspinner Mohammad Hafeez. He goes around the wicket to Kevin Pietersen, who drags the first ball past short fine leg for four. That's the only boundary of the over. "That picture of KP you've put up has an incredible trompe l'oeil effect in which he looks like he has the longest philtrum in the history of cricket, his chin becoming his mouth," says Rod Hunt.

2nd over: England 12-0 (Pietersen 10, Kieswetter 2) Pietersen gets up on his toes to blast a short, wide delivery from Aizaz Cheema to the cover boundary. That was the only bad delivery of an otherwise good over. At the other end, Craig Kieswetter isn't quite timing the ball at the moment. The excellent Aamir Sohail – the standard of cricket commentary is so damn hot right now – suggests that a tired, low-bouncing pitch isn't helping the batsmen. "Smyth Hotel," says John Starbuck. "We can understand why you'd want a hideaway, but why would anyone advertise it as such on the internet? Surely it's a self-defeating concept?" Narcissism, like gravity, always wins.

3rd over: England 19-0 (Pietersen 12, Kieswetter 6) Hafeez is such a crafty one-day bowler. He senses that Pietersen is eyeing midwicket so he bowls it a touch wider outside off stump, and Pietersen drags a slog-sweep back onto his foot. Seven from the over, none in boundaries. Early impressions are that 150 would be a seriously handy score. "You might be pleased to know that there's a large contingent of Indian cricket fans at the T20 tonight, all supporting England," says Sarah Bacon. "We've been receiving joyful texts in the past hour or so extolling your team's many virtues. Which is nice."

4th over: England 35-0 (Pietersen 17, Kieswetter 17) Sixteen from the over! Pietersen picks Cheema's slower ball, waits a split second and then brutalises it back over the bowler's head for four. Two balls later Kieswetter drags a drive just over the head of the two men running back from midwicket and mid on. Then he gets consecutive boundaries with a slice over short third man and a zesty clout through the off side. That's a big over for England. "If you tried doing #bantz in Lincolnshire it'd be out with the pitchforks and accusations of witchcraft quick as you know it #dunkingstool" says Phil Sawyer

WICKET! England 35-1 (Pietersen c Gul b Ajmal 17) Saeed Ajmal strikes with his second ball. Pietersen tried to sweep over short fine leg but mistimed it traight to Umar Gul on the edge of the circle.

5th over: England 37-1 (Kieswetter 18, Bopara 1) That's the sixth time Ajmal has dismissed KP on this tour. "Wife examining shoes that she is never going to buy, daughter starting to tire and I need a drink, preferably in a bar with cricket not the bloody rugby," says Andy Cronk. "Any ideas on the OBO for a bar in Brighton?"

WICKET! England 38-2 (Bopara LBW b Gul 1) Now Umar Gul strikes with his second ball. Bopara pushed around his front pad at a delivery that was angled in by Gul. I suspect Bopara would have reviewed it if possible, but there is no UDRS in Twenty20 so he's gone for one. The decision looked fair enough.

6th over: England 46-2 (Kieswetter 19, Morgan 8) Now for the latest instalment of Crouching Morgan, Hidden Mojo. He drives his second ball in the air but wide of cover for four. The next ball is driven thrillingly for four more, square on the off side this time. That really was a storming stroke.

WICKET! England 49-3 (Morgan LBW b Hafeez 9) After surviving a huge shout for LBW the previous ball, Eoin Morgan falls to Mohammad Hafeez. He was a little unfortunate, because he was outside the line of off stump when he pushed around his front pad. He was probably given because of the cumulative appeals rather than just that delivery. The Sky chaps, Waqar and Nasser, were convinced he was out the previous ball as well, although I reckon he just got outside the line then too. We haven't seen a replay yet. No matter, he's gone and England's young middle order are under significant pressure now.

7th over: England 50-3 (Kieswetter 21, Bairstow 8) Still going through today's Guardian and found in the magazine a term new to me – the amphidromic point, meaning the point of no tide," says John Starbuck. "We already recognise it as that instant in the innings when you know you're not going to win." When England take the batting Powerplay?

8th over: England 58-3 (Kieswetter 21, Bairstow 8) Bairstow lifts Afridi precisely over extra cover for four, a really impressive stroke. The next ball brings a big LBW shout when Bairstow misses the googly, but it was going miles down the leg side. "

9th over: England 65-3 (Kieswetter 24, Bairstow 12) Bairstow smashes a pull over midwicket off the bowling of Hafeez. "He's a real talent this boy," says Nasser Hussain. "He's got something about him." Seven from the over, and Hafeez ends with figures of 4-0-25-1. "Any luck with the Cheltenham eatery quest yet?" says Adam Czarnowski. Nope, or with the request for Canterbury pubs. Surely somebody reading this knows Canterbury? This, admittedly, assumes we have more than five or six readers on this lovely afternoon.

WICKET! England 79-4 (Kieswetter c Gul b Afridi 31) Kieswetter slog-sweeps Afridi for six but falls to the next ball, holing out to Umar Gul at wide long off. That was a handy little innings, though: 31 off 24 balls.

10th over: England 79-4 (Bairstow 21, Patel 0) Samit Patel has come in ahead of Jos Buttler. Bairstow, who is playing splendidly, had hit a six earlier in the over, clouting a googly into the sightscreen. "I may have made a bit of a mistake," says Ravi Nair. "Now every time I tear my eyes away from this screen and look at the rugby on the telly for a few moments, someone seems to be catching a high ball and I scream 'Howzatt!' Might be time for the iced tea..."

11th over: England 89-4 (Bairstow 27, Patel 2) Bairstow drills Shoaib Malik straight down the ground for four, another cracking shot. When he plays like this, he has a remote control for the hairs on the back of our neck. Raw talent alone is never enough, but it's a decent place to start and he and Jos Buttler have it in industrial quantitites. Ten from the over; Bairstow has 27 from 15 balls. "I hope Bairstow, Butler and Patel can bat," says Simon Brereton, "because otherwise this is the longest tail I've seen the early 90s, when the tail started somewhere after Alec Stewart at No3..." Look at the tail here. Better still, look at the result!

12th over: England 94-4 (Bairstow 27, Patel 4) Aizaz Cheema restores some order with a good over that costs five, only two of them off the bat. "Iced tea?" says Phil Sawyer. "79-4? It's time for more than bloody iced tea." Knock yourself out. Don't mind me, sat here with only Evian chasers for company. And don't forget, fresh air is a mixer, really.

13th over: England 99-4 (Bairstow 30, Patel 6) Saeed Ajmal has three overs left. England, having got ahead of the rate, are content to work Ajmal around for relatively low-risk ones and twos. Five from the over. "Well Rob, it ain't sunny here in Istanbul, dull and cold (and dark now anyhow)," says Robert Lewis, "but the reason you have fewer followers today is sooooooo many delights on offer at the same time. It's hard to keep up with football, cricket and rugby at the same time – plus a fascinating documentary on Turkish tv about water in Anatolia, which just happens to have my voice on the English version."

14th over: England 106-4 (Bairstow 36, Patel 7) Bairstow pulls Afridi meatily for four. He hits the ball so hard. England are going pretty well here, although Bairstow is fortunate to survive when he inside edges a leg break wide of leg stump.

15th over: England 116-4 (Bairstow 41, Patel 12) This is just a glorious shot from Bairstow. He dances down the track to Ajmal, makes room and drives inside out through extra cover for four. Two balls later he reverse-sweeps for a single, and Patel completes a very good over for England with a deliberate edge for four. "I realise I'm rather late with this," says Lorraine Reese, who has just heard the sad news about Crossroads being decommissioned, "but I've just seen the most watched video on the right of the OBO. Good catch!"

WICKET! England 118-5 (Patel run out 13) Samit Patel is beaten by a direct hit from Ajmal at deep backward square leg. He worked Gul off the pads, came back for a second and was a fraction short when Ajmal's outstanding throw hit the stumps. Patel would have been home without a direct hit, although he didn't help himself by deciding not to dive into the crease. "Stay away from the coach..." says Nasser on Sky. Poor old Samit. He has played some superb cricket these last few months, but he seems doomed to haplessness for the rest of his career.

16th over: England 124-5 (Bairstow 42, Buttler 5) Buttler screams a full, straight delivery from Gul through the covers for four, a seriously good shot for a man who has just arrived at the crease. "Rugby's a delight?" says Phil Sawyer. "My abiding memory of rugby is high school in Durban, where burly Afrikaaner lads would take it in turns to shout abuse at me before causing me pain in a variety of interesting and innovative ways. Many words spring to mind when I think of rugby. Delight is not one of them." I bet one of them rhymes with delight, though.

17th over: England 129-5 (Bairstow 44, Buttler 6) Ajmal's last over is a good one – five from it, and he ends with figures of 4-0-20-1.

WICKET! England 132-6 (Buttler b Gul 7) Gul is getting a little reverse swing; this, combined with his impeccable yorker length, makes him a peerless death bowler when he is at his best. England manages only three from the first five balls, which forces Buttler to try the risky scoop shot over short fine leg. He misses, and Gul hits off stump with a low full toss. Buttler has fallen to that scoop in both matches of the series.

WICKET! England 137-7 (Broad b Cheema 2) The penultimate is given to Cheema rather than Afridi. And that's why: Broad, mowing to leg, is bowled neck and crop by a wonderful slower ball. Broad was through the shot almost before it pitched.

19th over: England 138-7 (Bairstow 49, Swann 1) That was a sensational last over from Cheema; six runs and the wicket. He ends with figures of 4-0-31-1. "What the hell is that stupid scoop shot supposed to be," says Adam Czarnowski, "except an imbecilic way of getting out easily?" Well, it's one of Buttler's best shots usually, and he had to try something. I'm usually loath to criticise batsmen for getting out in Twenty20; it's like plying someone with ABV Product and then moaning at them when they fall over in a heap.

20th over: England 150-7 (Bairstow 60, Swann 2) Bairstow drags Gul for two to reach his first fifty in international cricket (which is an odd thing to say about someone who has already played one famous innings). It came from 42 balls, included five fours and a six, and had a few of us dreaming of a better world for England in one-day cricket. He hits his second six later in the over with a remarkable shot, lifting Gul's slower ball almost gently over wide long on for a massive six. What an outrageous stroke! Bairstown ends with 60 not out from 46 balls, and is the subject of vigorous, pointed applause from Andy Flower. That was a seriously good knock; the decisiveness of his strokeplay is so impressive. There's an originality, too; he hits in orthodox areas but in unorthodox ways. It was wonderful entertainment. Pakistan need 151 to win. See you in 10 minutes.

INNINGS BREAK

WICKET! Pakistan 0-1 (Hafeez c Pietersen b Finn 0) Finn has struck second ball! Hafeez threw the bat at a short, widish delivery and edged it straight to first slip, where Pietersen took a comfortable catch. Actually it was much better than that, a sharp two-handed catch above his head. Is that the first slip catch of his international career?

1st over: Pakistan 1-1 (target 151; Zia 0, Shafiq 1) England might have had a wicket from the first ball of the innings. Awais Zia backed up too far and would have been run out by a distance had the throw from point hit the stumps. "When I questioned Morgan's place during the one day series OBO said that he had plenty in the bank – can I ask, now that he has failed nine times in a row – has this run out yet?" says Chris Sear. "I really hope so, he looks a shocking player." He's in diabolical form, nothing more than that. There is an argument for resting him from the Sri Lanka tour – certainly in the Test team – but Andy Flower and Geoff Miller would have to be on some seriously maverick cheese to write Morgan off.

WICKET! Pakistan 2-2 (Shafiq ct and b Dernbach 1) Jade Dernbach – like Finn, Ajmal and Gul earlier in the day – strikes with his second ball of the match. Shafiq had already survived a massive shout for LBW when he drove one straight back towards Dernbach, who took a smart reflex catch by his waist.

2nd over: Pakistan 7-2 (target 151; Zia 0, U Akmal 3) Dernbach bowls consecutive wides to Zia. Meanwhile, this is an astonishing email. "Why do you have to leave for '10 minutes'?" says Faryal Haque. "Can't you stay and keep talking about the previous innnings, plays or something? Just feels strange sitting here in silence waiting for you. Whatever." Are you familiar with the story of Stanley in the film Magnolia? If not, here's a clue as to the importance of taking a break between innings.

3rd over: Pakistan 18-2 (target 151; Zia 6, U Akmal 8) Umar Akmal flicks Finn through midwicket for four, a thrilling shot from a player with unbelievable talent. Finn and Akmal bump shoulders later in the over when Akmal turns for a possible second. The fifth delivery of Finn's over is 151kph ... and the sixth leaves the bat at around 400kph when Zia drives it over wide long on for six. What a magnificently absurd way to get off the mark. "Even Lord Selvey, who has been a big defender of Morgan, has suggested on the World Cricket Forum in recent days that perhaps it's time for Morgan to go back and do a spell with his county, if only to put an end to the increasingly exaggerated bobbing," says Phil Sawyer. "Incidentally, someone else on the WCF suggested that, given his resemblance to a mongoose, maybe the lowness of the crouch is due to Morgan wanting to scent mark the crease between each delivery. That's one of those gags I really really wish I'd thought of." I'd definitely give him a spell in first-class cricket with Middlesex. I'm not sure about the shorter form. Either way, I'd be more inclined to do seven hours' OBOing without a toilet break than to write him off in the medium-term.

4th over: Pakistan 24-2 (target 151; Zia 6, U Akmal 13) Akmal spanks Dernbach to the left of midwicket, where Buttler puts down a sharp chance and then runs straight off the field. Akmal smashes a pull for four next ball, which prompts a lively exchange with the bowler. England have a fair bit of heat under their collective collar at the moment. "Toilet break in between innings?" says Phil Sawyer. "Pah! You'll be telling us you need to eat and drink next."

WICKET! Pakistan 30-3 (U Akmal c Morgan b Finn 19) A stunning catch from Morgan gets rid of the dangerous Umar Akmal. This is a mighty wicket for England. Akmal had swung the previous delivery for a monstrous six over midwicket; then he flashed a short ball at the speed of light towards point, where Eoin Morgan took a brilliant reaction catch above his head.

5th over: Pakistan 31-3 (target 151; Zia 6, S Malik 1) "Anyone feel like telling me whether we have enough on the board to defend," says Clare Davies, "or are you going to make me read everything from earlier?" England should win from here, yup, although of course there are no guarantees in this demented form of the game.

WICKET! Pakistan 32-4 (Zia c Dernbach b Broad 6) Stuart Broad was far too good for Awais Zia there. He beat Zia with three consecutive deliveries and then struck with a shorter, straighter delivery that Zia heaved miserably to mid off. That was excellent bowling. Zia hit only one scoring stroke, a massive six, in his 12-ball innings.

10th over: Pakistan 53-5 (target 151; Misbah 10, Afridi 1) An exceptional over from Broad costs only two runs. So he has figures of 2-0-4-1, and Pakistan need 98 from the last 10 overs. Good luck with that, chaps. "I'm trying to think of an adjective to describe Pakistan's innings," says Gary Naylor. "The only one I can think of is Pakistani."

11th over: Pakistan 57-5 (target 151; Misbah 10, Afridi 4) Misbah misses a reverse slog at Swann and is hit in the chest. He misses it again later in the over and is hit on the pad. England plead for LBW but I think he was outside the line of off/leg stump. No matter, it's another outstanding over for England. Pakistan need more than 10 runs an over."Are we to deduce from the increasing brevity of your recent OBO comments that you have female company?" says Adam Czarnowski. Arf. Maybe that could be the new OBO euphemism, replacing 'we're having technical problems'.

12th over: Pakistan 74-5 (target 151; Misbah 13, Afridi 19) Afridi dances down the track to Samit Patel and lifts a mighty drive over long on, all the way back into the third stand. It's the start of a 17-run over, with Afridi heaving four through midwicket and smashing another over extra cover. While Afridi is at the crease and the required rate is below 36.000001 per over, Pakistan have a chance. "I think the trademarked adjective for the Pakistani innings is 'mercurial'," says Ravi Nair. "Just saying..."

13th over: Pakistan 78-6 (need 73 from 42 balls; Afridi 21, Azam 2) Hammad Azam walks to the crease to the sound of – and you'll like this – I Like To Move It by Reel 2 Real. Afridi slaughters a flighted delivery back towards Swann, who can't hold on to the sharpest of return catches. "If you do suddenly have female company," says John Starbuck, "perhaps the brevity of your entries is because she won't let you get a word in edgeways?"

14th over: Pakistan 89-6 (need 62 from 36 balls; Afridi 21, Azam 13) Azam hits Bopara for 10 from two balls, a drive over extra cover followed by a wonderful flat swipe down the ground for six.

15th over: Pakistan 97-6 (need 54 from 30 balls; Afridi 21, Azam 21) Hammad Azam clubs Broad over midwicket for four, another startling stroke. He's not 21 till March, but he knows how to use the long handle. After a couple of dot balls, Azam zig-zags in his crease and slices a full delivery high over point for another impressive boundary. He's added 23 for the seventh wicket with Afridi – and Afridi has scored two of them.

WICKET! Pakistan 98-7 (Azam c Buttler b Bopara 21) Jos Buttler takes a crucial and brilliant catch at long off. Azam skied a slower ball from Bopara high in the air, endangering low-flying aircraft in the process, and the ball sailed towards long off. It was swirling all over the place, and Buttler eventually took with two hands as he was falling backwards. It ends a lovely cameo of 21 from 15 balls. We will be hearing more about Hammad Azam in the future.

16th over: Pakistan 100-7 (need 51 from 24 balls; Afridi 23, Gul 0) Bopara tarnishes a wonderful over – one run from the first five balls – with a front-foot no-ball, but he makes up for that by bowling Umar Gul off the resulting free hit. That was a match-changing and probably match-winning over from Bopara.

WICKET! Pakistan 111-8 (Gul c Kieswetter b Finn 10) Umar Gul goes for a four-ball 10. He pinged Finn for four and six from consecutive deliveries before top-edging an attempted pull high in the air. Kieswetter ran back to take a comfortable catch. Pakistan need 40 from 20 balls.

WICKET! Pakistan 111-9 (Ajmal run out 0) Afridi takes a suicidal single, just so that he can keep the strike, and Ajmal is run out without facing a ball. Afridi dropped the ball into the off side before setting off, and Finn followed through to hit the stumps with an underarm throw.

17th over: Pakistan 111-9 (need 40 from 18 balls; Afridi 24, Cheema 0) Poor Ajmal. Not only was he run out with facing, he was sent flying by Finn as the two collided in their follow through.

18th over: Pakistan 112-9 (need 39 from 18 balls; Afridi 25, Cheema 0) Afridi turns down a single from Dernbach before taking one off the third ball. That puts Cheema on strike, and he can do nothing. A fine over from Dernbach costs just one.

WICKET! Pakistan 112 all out (Afridi c Morgan b Broad 25). ENGLAND WIN BY 38 RUNS "You can bet Afridi will be swinging like a suburban couple at a sixties party..." says Bumble on Sky. He does just like that, slicing Broad high over point, from where Morgan runs back to take a good catch. That seals a fine victory for England, the highlight of which was a wonderful unbeaten 60 from Jonny Bairstow. Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann also bowled beautifully. Thanks for your emails. See you on Monday for the series decider. Night.