Ubisoft has updated Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, modifying one of the trophies in the game after Social Justice Warriors complained about unlocking the bronze trophy “Growing Up”. The trophy was unlocked after Kassandra gets knocked up and has a baby, or after Alexios grows a pair and creates a sperm sandwich with some ovary eggs from some Greek chick. The LGBTQIA community earnestly made the most noise, because they said it was “queerphobic” that characters would “grow up” to have a healthy heterosexual relationship in order to procreate the canonical lineage that eventually leads to Assassin’s Creed’s most renown characters.

Kotaku reported that the new trophy is no longer called “Growing Up”, but rather “Blood of Leonidas”.

For those of you who don’t know, Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey is a prequel game, and the story treks all the way back to ancient Greece, where Spartan warrior siblings, Alexios and Kassandra, hook up with the children of a mysterious warrior named Darius, and eventually spawn the bloodline that leads into the Brotherhood, which in turn creates the lineage that leads to Altair, Ezio, Connor, and Desmond.

Social Justice Warriors were furious about this development in the story, because obviously they made their Alexios and Kassandra gay and lesbian, and so they hated that the two siblings turned straight in order for the story to make any sort of logical sense whatsoever in terms of linking up with the lore of the other games. Because obviously a gay Alexios wasn’t going to be able to create a bloodline anymore than a lesbian Kassandra.

Kotaku’s editor-in-chief, Stephen Totillo, actually writes about this galling instance with the sort of sincerity one might expect from a husband apologzing to his wife after having caught him in their son’s backyard blow-up castle with the neighbor’s ladyboy spouse, writing…

“The name change may seem minor to some, but it is likely to be impactful to others who saw the unfolding of Shadow Heritage’s parental plotline as a betrayal of the developers’ promise to not force any type of romance or sexuality on player characters. It may also avoid serving as a painful reminder, as some players said it did, that there are people who consider homosexuality or even the choice not to have children as some sort of youthful phase that a person grows past.

“The game’s creative director, Jonathan Dumont, told Kotaku last month that the “growing up” phrase was not intended to deliver a hurtful or dismissive message. “It was definitively not written with that intention,” he said in a statement. “This was an oversight in the review process and we very regrettably missed it.” He added that the developers “share the frustration of players who find this offensive.”

This sort of sickening enabling of outrage culture spilled over into the comment section with the kind of loud, scary thud one might expect from a broken-hip senior citizen taking a first-class trip to the tile floor with their face during a midnight bathroom excursion.

The comment section is rife with people justifying why they need to get offended and create outrage over trophies in video games across social media.

Thankfully there were a few people who at least fired back, speaking up on behalf of LGBTQIA members who do not condone dragging the gaming industry down into the cesspit of identitarianism where outlets like Kotaku love to wallow.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t change the fact that Ubisoft folded cheaply like a Taiwanese hooker bent over a cedar chair waiting for the exploratory experiences of a foreigner’s liquid immigration.

But this is all par the course for Ubisoft, and a very “woke” game like Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey.

(Thanks for the news tip Rob Far)

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Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.