Letters I'll Never Send

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I regret ever saying the words “i just don’t feel the same anymore.” I was selfish, i was being led by others and let their decisions go to my mind and consume me. I let them and i did not let you. Everything we shared, the kisses, the hugs, the midnight calls, when you were crying and i cheered you up. When i was depressed and you did everything to help me feel better. We were perfect despite our differences, but different was so unique to us. We were a perfect balance, A yin yang, not beginning or end, but the middle. We weren’t cold nor hot, we were warm. Warm is how my heart felt whenever i was around you, but i was stupid in letting you go. I want to remain a friendship with you or at least start and fall in love with each other over again, but silly me messed everything up.
I remember when you first kissed me, how you would look at me and just smile and wrap me in your arms. We would talk about the future and promised to last a long time and to lift each other up whenever something wasn’t right. We planned it all, but why did i do that? Why did I let go of someone who loved me for who I am, someone who cherished my flaws, someone whom will ask me to sing to them just for the sake of listening to my voice, someone who really believed in me and supported my dreams and my plans, someone who loved showing me around in front of everyone, someone who loved being with me and bombard me with “I Love You’s” Why did i let you go?
With all my heart, soul, and mind,
I Love You.

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26 Responses to I messed up

-D

September 21, 2017 at 5:06 pm

@Author, Did you really feel this way? Who led you? I have never known you to be a follower you are a leader! Why did you let me go if you are in love with me? You were best friend. The Love of my life. I’m sorry too. I should never left.

If this is you Let’s hit the reset button. Buy me Slurpee @7 Eleven? And wanna go trick or treating in Dallas with me? Please call me it will be nice to hear your voice.

@author go to your person and make amends. Everyone messes up at some point. Why not take the risk. Don’t regret twice for not telling them you made a HUGE mistake. what are your initials? Who is this intended for a woman? What are her initials? Maybe she/he is on here looking for you.

Best of luck to you. I am hoping the man that did this to me comes forward. Everyone deserves a second chance if there is a good reason. There are NO excuses to treat people you love like this.

If you truly love someone and want them in your life. You will do anything to keep them safe and not hurt them.

@Author. Realizing that you made the mistake is a giant leap forward. If you made the mess, take responsibility and clean it up. Best apology is changed behavior. So you made a stupid mistake. You want to be stuck on stupid? Thinking that you will find someone else to replace this person? Sure you can find a person. Anyone can. This site is full of regret and remorse and heartbreak. Classic case of you don’t know what you had till its gone. Allowing others put negative things in your head, why would they do that? People who truly care about your happiness support, help you work on your relationships instead of making a decision to influence you to destroy them. Its very sad and I am guilty of making judgements and telling some friends they should break up and you deserve better. I told them to quit and run without even trying. That was SO wrong and I regret this. I speak from experience and have to support my friends regardless of how I feel about their significant other. That is their journey and their choice and need to support them on their choices. They chose me as a friend so I should not make judgement on their choices and no one is perfect we all make mistakes. If someone loves you just the way you are with all your flaws is the one. The one who is proud to be with you. You do anything you can to not hurt the one they love. Their only intention is to love you. They BELIEVE in you. The commitment. They don’t care about what other people think. All that person is and shows you is that they are proud to have you in their life. Proud to show you off and share their life with you. Let you in and give themselves to you. They are taking a huge risk and being vulnerable. You think you can just recreate or replace this? It is possible. But then why do people write on this site? Believe me if it were that easy people would not be on this site and people wouldn’t be depressed with heartbreak. If someone keeps your relationship a secret is not being truthful. There is a difference in between keeping your relationship private without keeping you partner a secret. People believe in people who you think would never give up something or someone you love. You can still deliver on your promise with your heart, soul and mind. Don’t let the fear control you and be concerned with what people are going to think when you admit you made a mistake. You know what’s going to happen? YOUR REAL FRIENDS THEY ARE GOING TO RESPECT YOU to a level that maybe they never saw. Everyone wants their friends to believe in them. If they are real friends they will HELP you and SUPPORT YOU and help you. Their happiness is your happiness. All you need to do is swallow you pride. GULP and ask them. You have to be honest with them. Or you can just keep pushing down those feelings and emotions and stay stupid. Its hard when you cant express you true feelings. You can run and hide for so long. Your friends will see this. Do we all want to be stuck on stupid regretting, wondering,sad, miserable and cold…or take action and own it and clean up our messes with your person. Stay stuck on stupid for walking away and letting this person go or RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN to them. It doesn’t matter what the reason is on why you let them go and walked away. This person came into your life and made you warm. You saw the Sun (here comes the sun) and they made it alright. Loving you for you. Once in a lifetime. Your balance and warmth. Your Yang is obviously special. People don’t come or write on this site unless they are. Your Yang (balance) that you are in love with. Believe this … someone is over the moon at this opportunity with your person.

I hope you are smart. We would love to believe and show us you are. We are rooting for you.

Good luck to you and everyone else reading this or on this site. I need to run and work to clean up a mess. Gulp.

Painful. Damn could hear your heartbreak while reading this. typical stupid dickmove to listen to your friends and how great it is single. I’m stupid ass. Been there done that. all up in my head trying to convince myself that i m not in love with her I straight up lied to her face. I went against what how I was truly feeling. guilty and sick over it. my family said wtf and they got over the shock. they are supportive and keep telling me its not too late and to stop being so stubborn. I havent seen her ior talk to her in 10 months. and it is killing me.check my phone looking for a txt or call. Nothing and its all my fault. start writing txt . erase. pull up the contact to call her and hear her voice and tell her I’m sorry. I lied I love you. instead i listen to some of her vm. look at the pix and see I was and still crazy in love with her. I was happy then. Smh Yes I’m an idiot. I gotta man up.and apologize to her. prove to her I love her and will do anything to make up for hurting her. I have to do whatever it takes to give me a chance and fix it. If I am real man i will do this

@author if your a Man. My Dad told me that if a man loves and truly wants you he will not give another man the opportunity to have you. If he wants you and doesnt pursue you. He is not a man yet. With what you said you you did let her you pushed her away most likely into someone else arms.

You don’t get to choose who loves you. Real Love chooses you for you. You will never be able to love people as much as you can miss them.

At least you have come to you senses. You would be crazy not to say something.

@I’M LOVE I think you right that they pushed them away and let them go into someone else’s arms and probably is regretting it. @Author thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry you are regretting what you did. I would never wish this purgatory on anyone. Good Luck. Hope you are back with them.

Nothing hurts or stings more than seeing the love of your life with someone else. What hurts and very painful is the regret if you are with someone and keep thinking, missing wishing you were with the love of your life you messed up with.

@author this sounds very close to my experience of my boyfriend/love of my life said to me a few months back. What are the chances? It is highly unlikely this is my person. It would be a miracle if he were to ever send me this letter and not waiting around for it either. Then again I have been wrong many times…Never say never.

This is much appreciated to share your experience. I know its been helpful to me. I don’t know if you will ever get over your your heartbreak. I got through mine.

@-D be proud of yourself to know you got through this and not waiting around for a selfish person if someone did something similar to this. imho if someone loves you with their heart, soul and mind and messes up and says they are sorry and would do anything to get you back is someone you should be proud of.

@author instead of asking why? Why not? Are you proud of what you did? Why live in regret? Why not tell them you messed up? Why not tell them how you really feel? Why not be with someone who is proud to be with you? Why not Apologize for messing up? Why not do the right thing? Why not DO SOMETHING YOU CAN BE PROUD OF? Good luck. You all can work this work out.

@author and what is sad about this it happens all the time and you hear about it all the time. Especially if you were being unfaithful or had someone on the side.
What’s tragic is you have to live in that lie with yourself
and everyone else. I’m going to ask why would you or anyone want to continue to destroy yourself and live in a lie? Why aren’t you being true to yourself?
Why are you disrespecting yourself? You let that happen when you let others influence and have that much control over what you do and your happiness?

Please don’t come back here and write about not going to your Love that you didn’t do anything and you are sad and depressed. Instead,
Come back and tell us how happy you are
re that you fixed it and that you are warm with the Love of your life.

You sure did and I gave you every opportunity to repair the damage you did on us. I even reached out by txt. Instead you continue to live in a lie and let others believe that you don’t love me or ever did. You just keep that facade going. And pretend I don’t exist. Hope your proud of yourself for doing nothing. Oh and of course you think your parents/family and friends are happy or proud of you?

You let them go? No judging and don’t know your situation. They probably ran away as fast as they could after someone said these things and treated them like that. I know I would.
if they forgive you then they really do love you for you and this is rare.

@author and anyone reading this. I learned this the hard way. You either say how you feel to them and mess it up more or reconcile(which sounds like you want and it could be better), or say nothing and let it fuck you up instead.

From the love of your life. Let’s be friends. If we can remain friends then we really do care about one another. It takes respect, caring and maturity and that is something we can do. Looking forward to being friends.

This is sad and heartbreaking and painful as I read through this and many other postings of people apart from the ones they truly love. This post hits so close to home. It was as if it was written to me. Sometimes people meet their Soul Mate/The One/ Twin Flame there are many names for this and don’t recognize them immediately. Something happens like this and they mess up together and have to learn from each other.
Why? The answers lies within you.
@author if you care about this person, just go to them if you haven’t already. I wouldn’t wait. You said they love you for you. It doesn’t get any better than that and that is something that is rare.

@author I feel sorry for the person you are with now or who you are with next and especially you. WHY? BECAUSE you are not with the love of your life. Be careful who you hurt, lie to, sent, cut off, ignore etc. This person is not replaceable. If they were you would have never wrote this on this site. I know this is the Letter you will never send, but it doesn’t have to be. Why not send it? Why can’t You author ??? Why do you do this to yourself? Get put of your head.
Send the Letter, call them just don’t wait.
Do it!!!

the real author of messed up please stand up? DO NOT SEND THIS. Don’t take the easy way out. First, stop being selfish and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Please go to the love of your life now. YES NOW. This letter was sent to her, she just doesn’t know its from you. For anyone to see.

Why? we really don’t want a sequel to this ” I messed up, waited to long, missed my chance, I love her, Why did I do that…etc..blah,blah excuses).