Sunday, February 28, 2010

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday afternoon. I shouldn't have gone. It was such a bad, bad, bad day to see him. He wasn't in a good mood at all and I finally figured out I wasn't the daughter he wanted to see anyway. He wanted Cheryl. She wasn't there because she went off to the zoo with Patrick and Kelly and all the kids including mine. I had no idea that was going to happen til I got to my Mom's house. My sister Kelly was supposed to take one of her friends daughter and Jessie out somewhere to have fun but somehow or another they all got together for the zoo. When I got there Patrick started in that Cheryl was supposed to go with Kelly and the girls too. Still no one told me the zoo. So I let myself be guilted into telling her okay don't worry about going to see Dad. She hardly gets to do anything fun. I still thought that it was a girls day out at that point but right before we left my brother mentioned they were all going to the zoo. I know how it made me feel and even though my Mom pretends to blow things off I know it made her feel bad too. I could have gone over to my Mom's house earlier right after Nicky got out of Saturday school for Math, we could have seen my Dad, Cheryl included and all of us gone to the zoo. Anyway, I'm through whining about the zoo. Chris finally came in and they were all still out so my Mom said the kids could just spend the night and we get them today. Chris took me out to eat steak at Logans but I got a bad cut of meat. I got a ribeye but next time I'm just sticking to sirloin. The ribeye was just tough and stringy and I got it cooked medium so it shouldn't have been. Oh well. After we finally got home I stretched out in the bed because I hadn't been feeling good all day and it was just a bad day all around for me. I sweated a fever off and on all night. I think I fell asleep around 6 p.m. and finally got up about 8 a.m. this morning. My head still feels too heavy for my body and I've got a good chest cold working. Chris is going to go and get the kids in a little while so I don't have to at least. I'm just going to stick close to home today.

Monday, February 22, 2010

A few of my friends already got this award from Kathy. I'm more of a reader and not much of a commenter as they will tell you. I'm honored to get this award. Mostly my blog lately has been about the ins and outs with my Dad and his dementia. I haven't updated on him lately because its just getting too shattering for me to go there but here it is.........My Mom signed DNR orders a couple of weeks ago and this weekend the DNR bracelet was put on his wrist. It makes the end inevitable now. I mean it always was but it was always far, far away and not in the forefront of all of our thoughts. Now with that order dangling from his wrist when we visit him makes it so very real. Okay enough of that and on with the award. Thanks again Kathy.

Thanks to Kathy at http://bagsbooksandbonjovi.blogspot.com/. She thought my blog fit this award. Thanks, Kathy!! A Prolific Blogger is one who is intellectually productive… keeping up an active blog that is filled with enjoyable content.

1. Every winner of the Prolific Blogger Award has to pass on this award to at least seven other deserving prolific bloggers. Spread some love!2. Each Prolific Blogger must link to the blog from which he/she has received the award.3. Every Prolific Blogger must link back to This Post, which explains the origins and motivation for the award. Passing it on to in no particular order:

2. http://thoughtsbydena.blogspot.com/ Dena has a wonderful way with words. I love reading her blog. I've been bad lately Dena and haven't caught up with you lately. I promise I'll be there again soon.

4. http://niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com/ This one is pure fun. I love Nicolas Cage and have seen almost all of his movies and even went and saw the crummy ones and tried to find something good in them.

7. http://5dollardinners.com/ Some of my favorite recipes come from this site. I probably pay more than $5 for the stuff but the recipes are awesome. She just published a cookbook I want to buy and also has a lot of slow cooker recipes on her site too.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Like you know, Jessie is turning into such a preteen girly girl. She's always been, like you know, tomboyish but with ruffles if that makes sense. I promise no more like you know statements. That's all we heard this afternoon when we went to eat dinner at Dairy Queen. Every question or comment had like you know in it. We threw it back at her but she didn't catch on right away that we were playing with her. Not only does she use the statement a lot but she does it with a Valley Girl accent. LOL. Where she learned that I have no idea. Probably my sister Cheryl. The teacher of all things bad but fun. Isn't that what Aunts are good for? The fun things not the bad things. LOL. Nicky stayed home and just requested yet again pepperoni pizza for dinner. I swear he's a walking pizza if I ever saw one. He must be eating healthy though since he's 5'3" now and at a healthy weight too. I guess he's found his perfect food. At least he's a cheap date. Anyway it was nice to have just Jessie with us and she enjoyed the one on one time. Usually its just she and I when Nicky goes overnight to my Mom's so that wasn't why it was special. It was because Daddy went with just us. She's a Daddy's girl just like I was at that age. She got all embarrassed at the Doctors office the other day. Our Doctor was asking her if she knew about what was coming up for her and that she'll bleed someday and on and on. Thank goodness we have a woman Doctor or she would have really died of embarrassment. She asked Nicky if he liked girls yet and of course he stammers out no. They're both at that stage of embarrassment and its so fun to catch them off guard with comments. Pretty soon they'll really understand everything and it'll be serious conversations there after. Time to enjoy them as children as it should be at their ages.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I took my Mom to see my Dad yesterday. We had to wait about 45 minutes for him to get out of occupational therapy. Not for walking but they had him making something with his hands. We only stayed about 15 minutes after he got back up there because he was falling asleep on us and very out of it. He still looks bad to me. Really bad. He's gaunt and his skin looks like paper. I hate seeing him this way. It breaks my heart that my Daddy who was taller than anybody else's Daddy and as strong and stubborn as a bull seems to be shrinking before my eyes. I can't imagine what is going through his mind. He usually asks when he can go home but he was too exhausted to even mutter that. I'm so scared for my Mom. She told me she feels like she's deserted him. What can I tell her? Nothing really. I just try to keep reassuring her that she hasn't deserted him. The blessing in all of this is that my Dad doesn't realize when she's not up there at least.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

I took my Mom and sister Cheryl to see my Dad today. He was having a very bad day. He was ruddy but pale at the same time. He kept falling asleep on us while we were there. We only stayed a couple of hours since he was tired. My Mom signed a DNR and turned it in to the nurse's station today. Not that my Dad is going anytime soon (hopefully) but it'll be easier if that time does come. Tomorrow is my nephew's 1st birthday and I know that my Mom is going to have a very bad day without my Dad being there. It's going to be a weird day but hopefully it'll turn out fine.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

:::Knock:::Knock::: Is this thing on? I need to get here and try and post more. Not for anyone else but for myself. That's why I'm here anyway. I think. Nothing much going on in the homefront. Going day to day with a normal routine and that suits me just fine. I like good and boring. I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and we were at a wedding and my Dad was in it. Bad omens are everywhere in that dream. I've explained before about how we have 3 symbolic things in dreams in my family that portend the 3 major things in life. Births or pregnancy, weddings and funerals. Of course we have to do everything the hard way so they don't just match up the way you'd think. If you dream about a baby or pregnancy that means a wedding, a wedding is a funeral and a funeral is a baby. So I know my niece is engaged but she hasn't announced it to the family. She posted her relationship status on her My Space page as engaged. Dreaming my Dad was there means its my side of the family and that its immediate family since it was my Dad and of course the wedding is a funeral. My Dad is in really bad health but my Mom hasn't been getting her meds because of not having enough money to get everything needed since she was in the gap for her medicare. I won't stop holding my breath until this month ends. The only good thing about the dream is that I didn't dream the funeral part so that means there's no new pregnancy in the family right now. That part is a relief because niece's fiancee is only 20 (she's 24) and he has a 2 year old daughter already from a high school romance that he doesn't hardly see or take care of. They don't need a new baby on top of not being able to take care of their own selves. 2 minimum wage jobs don't pay their bills now so I can imagine how hard it'll be on them with a baby on the way. You can't stop love though so I wish them well just not a baby yet.

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