I Am Not Crazy

December 17, 2007

By Lindsay M., Fort Collins, CO

I can remember it all like it happened yesterday, even though it has been three years. How can I forget? It ruined my life. I am not crazy, it did happen. The blood, her screams, and the mysterious man laughing. It did happen. The people working here treat me like a child, I am not a child I am a man, and I am not crazy I started my normal day in the normal way first waking up with my girlfriend, Shaina, sleeping next to me. I sleepily walked in to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. Stepping out, I wrapped a towel around my waste and headed toward the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror; a man named Ryan and his bright blue eyes. I brushed my teeth and put a comb through my messy, dark brown hair. I walked into the bedroom to find Shaina awake, “good morning.” I said, as she came and kissed my cheek. “Morning.” She said and walked in to the bathroom. I got dressed, the regular suit and tie. At my work, they think you are lazy and bug you all day if you don’t; I found that out the hard way. Everyone had kept nagging me all day, hinting I should dress nicer. During the time I got dressed, my stomach expressed its anger and growled, wanting food. I walked into the kitchen and got myself some Cheerios. Shaina walked in as beautiful as ever, with her long brown hair tied up, her strong ocean blue eyes looking at me, her gorgeous smile, her wearing a white short sleeve button up shirt and blue jeans, she looked like an angel. After our breakfast we talked about our plans for lunch, deciding on a small cafe. Once Shaina gave me a kiss goodbye, I rode off in my car to work. I was having a good day until I was talking to my boss. He started to criticize my work, and so I started to yell. I told him to do a lot of things I probably shouldn’t say here. He just makes me so mad. I almost cheered once it turned twelve o’clock. I finally got to leave for lunch. I parked my car in the cafe parking lot and saw Shaina right away. How could I not? “Hey” I said, walking up to Shaina, “how long have you been waiting?” “I just got here.” Shaina replied, “let’s go get a table.” “Okay.” I said, and we got a table outside. We talked and talked, paying attention to nothing but each other. I don’t know how long we were at the cafe, I only knew it was long enough for my boss to yell at me and have his head change to the color of a tomato when I got back to work. He was so angry I thought we would have ketchup spread across the walls. I didn’t understand a word he said, but it was clear he was mad as a hornet ready to sting. After a while of working my cell phone went off and the number belonged to Shaina. I answered; “miss me already?” but I got no reply. I hung up; thinking Shaina accidentally called me in her pocket. After getting up for a drink, I went back to work. Once work was finally over, thinking to myself how bad work is and how much I hate my boss, I headed home. When I got into the house I called Shaina’s name, ready to see her again, but I got no reply. She was usually home when I got back but I didn’t think anything of it. I turned on the TV and started to watch CSI. After five or ten minutes of that a man walked in from the kitchen. I stood up and asked, in what I thought was a brave voice, “Who are you?” But the man didn’t say a word. He started towards me and I knew there would be a fight. He started to hit me so I fought back. He pulled out a gun so I stopped resisting. He blindfolded me and took my arm, we started to walk, but shortly stopped and got into a car. We drove for a long time, how long I don’t know. We started to walk again and went down some stairs. We went into a room and I could hear someone crying. I could hear the misery in her voice as the woman quietly muttered to herself. Then I realized I had heard that voice before. The man pushed me on the floor and the woman started to cry more. The man left behind a door and I asked the woman if she was ok. At the same time I was trying to untie my blindfold. I saw the woman look up in the barely lit room. The crying stopped and I got a reply, “Ryan, is that you? It’s me, Shaina. “Yea.” That was all I could say. I couldn’t express my emotions. I still cant now. She crawled over to me, and I saw her wet face more clearly, I held her in my arms. We sat there for the longest time in silence. Sometime after, the door opened again and two bowls were pushed in by a foot. We crawled over to find one bowl full of cold scraps and the other with warm water. We shared the two bowls then lay down to rest on the cold, hard floor. Shaina used my body as a pillow and my arms as a blanket. I thought we would just sit there, everyday, maybe being used for money and if we would never see our kidnapper. Everyone makes mistakes. He came into the room, heading towards us and grabbed Shaina. I jumped up and pushed the masked man, he turned and started attacking me. I fought back but eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and fell to the ground. He laughed a cold laugh and walked away. “Oh honey, how bad is it?” Shaina asked starting to cry, and sat down next to me. I tried to sound strong, “It’s not too bad Shaina, please don’t worry.” She replied fast, “Of course I will worry about you, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t?” I don’t know if I said anything back, I fell asleep. Later on we got some food and talked to each other quietly. This happened regularly. We sometimes talked about escaping or life before being in that dark, bare room. One night I asked her to marry me after we got out. I wanted that most in the world. It felt like centuries since we had been in that room. We had been in that room weeks, months, who knew? The kidnapper came in everyday, but one time was different. He came in drunk. He went staggering to Shaina and I jumped up, ready to kick his a**. When he was going for Shaina, I attacked. He turned to me and I realized he had something in his hand. I don’t know what it was, only that it hurt. I can’t remember anything after that except Shaina’s screams the man laughing, and everything going black. I woke up to see Shaina next to me, blood all around her. I crawled over to wake her up. I shook and shook her, knowing she wouldn’t wake up. Oh I wish she did. I cried and cried, seeing the person I loved most in the world, the person I would do anything for, lying next to me dead. That horrible man came in and dragged Shaina away. I was alone. For the next few days I was in complete shock. Anytime that man came in I didn’t fight back. I wanted to die. After sitting by myself for a few days, I decided I didn’t want to die. I wanted revenge. And the first step was to get out. The next day I got my chance. He came in and I was pretending to be asleep. He cam and stood next to me quietly. I grabbed his feet and pulled, making him fall over. I jumped up and ran for the door. I found stairs and ran up them and outside. I kept running, not knowing which direction I was going. I walked after that, searching for a house. I was free from that man, but I wasn’t safe yet. I needed to find a building, soon. After searching for what seemed like hours, I found a little house. The person living there let me phone the police. They came and asked me to lead them to the man’s house. But I couldn’t. It had been dark and I only concentrated on getting out of it. They took me to the station to ask me some questions. The police did a full investigation, and I was put under witness protection. They didn’t find anything. Nothing. They didn’t find the room, and even worse they didn’t find Shaina. The only proof they had was my word, and I knew they didn’t believe me. They thought I was mad. When they asked my boss about me, he said I was crazy. That bastard. I got put in a mental institution three years ago and I’m still here. People came to visit me, but they’ve never come back. I don’t know when I’ll get out of here, or if I ever will. I still stick to my story, the true story. It did happen. I know it did. I think it did...

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In general, I thought it wasn't bad. It was really sweet how devoted they were to each other. At times, the story seemed a bit scattered and I think the characters and setting could have been a bit more developed.