The Basics: Jovovich's blood, infected with a mutant virus, has turned her into what the movie calls a "hemophage." She's a vampire, a mutant, a flat-tummied samurai in an electric purple wig who speaks Chinese and a surrogate mommy for a radioactive kid (Bright) who could be the key to curing her bad blood.

What's the Deal? It's kind of freeing to enter a movie expecting only cartoon violence and digital nothingness. And when it delivers more than that, you sort of feel as though it wasn't a waste of 90 minutes. You can stuff your face with candy and thoroughly enjoy moments such as the one in which Jovovich walks into a roomful of bad guys and says, slowly, "You are all going to die." Or the one in which the Head Bad Guy thinks he's going to win just because he has an army of 700 men behind him, and she's all alone with just her sword, and he goes, "Are you mental?" And you know she's about to decimate 701 people.

Plastic Face Technology: Everything looks fake here. The sets, the props, even the faces of the actors, which have all been digitally altered to make them look as though they're made from the softest polyurethane ever created.

Movie Math: The greatest hits of Aeon Flux + Tron + Kill Bill + The Matrix + Beauty and the Beast + Sin City + the last segment of Creepshow (about the guy who wanted to live in a hermetically sealed environment) = this movie.

Best Gadget I Wish Really Existed: Paper cell phones that spit out of vending machines that can also make the person you're talking to into a hologram.

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