The nominees: Matisyahu, obviously. Sean Paul... you don't get the nickname "King of Israel" without being part Jewish. Cousin Izzy... no, that's not his performing name. Izzy Stupnick, my cousin. He's quite the reggae master. What, you thought we can get more than two real nominees?

And the winner is... Cousin Izzy! What a historic upset! Say hello to your mother for me, Izzy! Your award comes with a year's supply of Hyman's Canned Pastrami... Now with less metal aftertaste!

Please stay tuned for the best Jewish barbershop quartet award! Oy, this is gonna be a long night...