I am not sure how to do my first restaurant review, so I’ve decided to be just blatantly honest about everything. Kids reading this, please click away. Yesterday got a call from classy lady Emi for dinner, and having gotten used to a city enamoured with casual dining – its time to indulge in some ‘fine’ dining. Having so quickly and unashamedly suggested BSC – being 3 minutes away from my house – we quickly found ourselves on the third floor in Kuriya Japanese Resturant.

Arriving at a restaurant for the first time is like meeting a lady for the first time. First impressions set the tone for the rest of the night – and Kuriya seems to be like a modestly beautiful lady. I’d say somewhere in between Meg Ryan and Cameron Diaz – sweet but not imposingly seductive. Nestled right beside its more glamorous neighbour – Bar Twenty One – there’s almost a clandestine feel to its entrance. Ambience depicts a traditional Japanese feel with dark lighting, wood and granite stone-adorned walkways.

So after meeting the modestly beautiful lady – its time to go on a date! Hence the ordering began.

Emi was darn hungry hence she wasted no time as if her mind was set on default Soba. I always believe the mark of a good Jap is the way they cook their garlic fried rice – So I ordered that. We also ordered the most expensive dish on the menu just to taste their flagship dish.

Cue the photos:-

The Saba Shioyaki (RM13) was the first to arrive – almost immediately provoked the same response from both of us – Fishy smell!

The Chicken Teriyaki (RM18) arrived next – one look and you’d already know what to expect when tasting it – we stand by our remarks that Sushi King (the epitome of all sucky sushi) serves better Chicken Teriyaki. Pale in taste as if it was chopped from Ayamas directly.

Emi’s Tempura Soba (RM26) arrived. I didn’t taste it – but she said its edible – period.

And then my benchmark dish arrived – Garlic fried rice (RM15). Looking at the colour and texture of the finish product – my expectations dropped like the US Stock Market. Colour of the fried rice looks as though a ‘kwai lo’ hijacked the kitchen staff and took over the wok and started stirring frantically forgetting the sauce. I was disappointed with the taste.

The Wahgyu Steak (RM130) arrived next. Being the most expensive dish in the menu, my expectations were high. And again, when it seems like it could go no lower, Kuriya amazed me again. Now it’s as if, your date is stealing from you when you go to the toilet, or checking your phone SMS while you’re away from the table.

Wahgyu beef – in all its august splendour from the Shogun era – should be a dish grandeur enough to stand alone. The moist from the beef, with its marinade and the gentle dip into ponzu sauce is supposed to provide an interplay of flavours that tingles the purest of sensation in your taste buds. Instead, Kuriya decided to cook the beef without any flavours and place it on top of an array of salted sour-ish vegetables begging for the beef to extract its character from cheap vegetables, and distorting the taste in the process.

Ebi Tempura (RM28) arrived next and being in the depths of trashy fine dining, this dish floats in the sea of mediocrity.

We equate the main dishes’ experience to a bad blow job after your date! Emi cheekily added that it’s as if a little teeth was involved in the blow job hahahahaha painful!

Time for dessert to salvage this whole fiasco.

Thank goodness for Nadeshiko! (RM12) Nice wine and cherry flavour!

Anmitsu (RM18) – taste almost like MoF with the exception of rock hard glutinous balls.

My fellow reviewer - The beautiful and classy Emi

So, the date was fairly sweet and pretty, the date itself sucks. The sex afterwards sucks as well, but as a saving grace – the morning after coffee was good. That sums up our experience with Kuriya Japanese Restaurant. It is as if, it was there just to make up the variety of cuisine available at BSC. Next restaurant please!

Food: 4/10

(below par Jap dining experience)

Service: 6/10

(serving the gentleman instead of the lady first is always a big no no)

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Btw, did u know that this restaurant was transformed from the old Jap restaurant from the old BSC.. Im guessing the transformation didnt do any good to the food.. Only the outlook of the restaurant.. hahaha SHUCKS!!!