PERSONAL LEADERSHIP: HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH BY DR SHOGO

B. Self-worth: The dictionary defines it as ' the
sense of one's own value or worth as a person’

Self-worth
is less about measuring yourself based on external actions and more about
valuing your inherent worth as a person.

C. Self esteem:

The picture
above reminds me of self-image again.

In other words, when we talk about self-worth, it
is not about what you do. It is about who you are. You might be a medical
doctor, an engineer…. But that’s not who you are. Are you honest? Do you play
to the ethics in the industry? Are you accountable? Are you responsible? Are
you realistic? Are you just?

Now, People don’t remember what you for what you are.
They remember you for who you are. That is why it is said, People might forget
what you give to them; will never forget how you make them feel. Now, who you are is what makes people feel
the way they feel.

Do you treat your customers as king or you treat
your customers like you’re doing them a favour.
That is who you are. Are you proud? Are you brash? Are you egoistic? Are
you saucy? That’s who you are. So, that is why I love the good book, the Bible,
it says, “the life of a man does not
consist in what he has.”

My question to you now today is: If I remove what
you do, which is what you have – your profession, your vocation- who are
you? Are you a loving wife? Are you a
cheat? Are you rude? Are you nice? Are
you saucy? Are you Proud? So, who you are
you can’t dodge it, we can’t dodge it. But we can feel the effect.

So, that is why, I’ve seen because I do a lot of
coaching and mentoring. I’ve coached people that when we talk in terms of what
they have and what they can acquire and the position they have, they still have
a very low sense of self-worth. Because
when they grow to a phase in their lives, they’re looking for something of
substance to give back to the society.

Why do you think that all these rich men want to
plug into foundations, they want to be a part of something bigger than them.
That is who you are. It is your self-worth that determines the strength of the
legacy you’ll leave behind.

Self-esteem should not be about measuring yourself
against another, but paying attention to your intrinsic value. Self-worth is
not based on external factors.

Everyone can bear witness that at one point or the
other; you have encountered mechanics, tailors, carpenters…. At times, the kind
of jobs you look down on – I’m not talking about people doing it at a higher
level- I mean the roadside ones. Their sense of self-worth is so high, because
they are fulfilled doing what they are doing. Remove that work out of their
lives, which they are, the sense of worth that they have about themselves. It
is self-worth that will make a vulcanizer reject N500 given to him by a
customer.

HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-WORTH:

1. Stop comparing yourself with others: You need to realize that the DNA you carry, you’re the only one
that carries it. And nobody on the surface of the earth out of the
billions of people have the DNA you carry. So, you need to understand that
you are unique and original. If you want to build your self-worth
concentrate on yourself. Don’t compare yourself with other people. It is a
different calendar God is running on each and every one of us. We are all
in different spaces that we can all influence. So, stop comparing yourself with
others.

A pregnant who woman does not compare herself with
another pregnant woman. Simply because they both know that they carry
something. If I want to make myself unhappy now: Imagine me comparing myself
with Obama. I have not invested the number of years he has invested in his
life. I’m not as old as he is. I’m not occupying the type of office he has
occupied. Please, how will I have a good self-worth, if I am measuring myself
against the influence of Ex-President Obama?

Do you understand? So, you need to watch your
internal dialog. At times, we compare ourselves with people we are not supposed
to compare ourselves with.So, what happens is, when you compare yourself with
someone you’re not supposed to compare yourself with? Your level of self-worth diminishes. It is bartered. It is beaten. So, the
principle of growth is attention. Anything you pay attention to growths.

Stop comparing yourself with others. The
grass is not greener on the other side. Concentrate on your own grass and your
grass will be green. The day you stop comparing yourself with others and start
minding your business, you’ll realize that your level of self-worth is
increasing.

2. Practice
self-compassion: This is the practice of treating yourself with the
same kindness and compassion as you would treat a friend

Use the
'COAL' attitude on yourself . Do you wanna know what the C O A L attitude
stands for ?

C- Curious,
O – Open, A - Accepting and L - Loving

Towards
yourself and your experiences rather than being critical on yourselves. At times
when I come in contact with critical people, I don't internalize their actions
because I realize that they are critical on themselves as well. And I know that
a tap that has no water cannot give water.

Let me share
3 steps to practice self-compassion:

You would notice that while explaining three steps
to practicing self-compassion, I put suffering in quote. Now that suffering
could mean the word SUFFERING literally and could also be a metaphor, like when
you’re stressed out.

a.Acknowledge and notice your ‘suffering’. Do you
know there are some Bosses and leaders, they don’t go on break, and they don’t
go on vacation? So, if they don’t go on break and vacation for instance, how
would they allow their employees and their subordinates go on a Leave or
vacation?

They are not going on vacation simply because they
are not acknowledging and noticing that they are suffering. That is the reason
for a lot of high blood pressure, heart attack at management levels for some of
these guys. You see, when you go for break, you have a fresh breath of air, you
can think straight and you resume feeling better. You don’t need to have to go
to an expensive destination before you get a break from work.

a.Be kind and caring in response to the ‘suffering’: give yourself a treat. Go for a break.

b.Remember that imperfection is part of human
experiences: So, you need to be able to OWN your strength and weaknesses. Learn
to forgive yourself when you fall. Learn to pat yourself on the back or rob
your hand on your head when you make a mistake; it is not the end of the world.

But some people beat themselves up and in so doing;
you are damaging your sense of self-worth. Imperfection is part of perfection;
perfection itself is not a destination, it’s a journey. Excellence is also a
journey.

So, learn to embrace it and when you make mistakes
from time to time, resign that there is room for improvement.

Dear friend, do you want to become a better version of yourself in 2018? Do you want to belong to a community of supportive people? Then join The Pathfinder Mentoring Program by Dr Shogo, coming up in January 2018. Click here for details.

About LoliaTemplatesyard is a blogger resources site is a provider of high quality blogger template with premium looking layout and robust design. The main mission of templatesyard is to provide the best quality blogger templates which are professionally designed and perfectlly seo optimized to deliver best result for your blog.