Month: February 2016

After being heartbroken, angry and humiliated for thinking this “special” day would be different and MAYBE, just maybe…

I won’t be acknowledging February 14th as anything other than just another day from this point on for my family. Yesterday, I was angry. Now? Not so much. I’m actually sad. Sad that people that I love won’t get the acknowledgment or goodies any longer (from me) when they see everyone else getting them.

If you are reading this and even if you don’t care about this one day, someone in your life does. And it stinks to not even hear a “thank you” when you tried so hard to make people smile.

Everyone preaches that it’s the little things that matter. I’m believing that less and less every day that I am on this planet.

Be good to who you love. Show them. They may be gone before you know it and this one trivial day may mean the world to them.

Today has been a day. Wow. I never thought that I would see such a personality change in Jasper since beginning the steroids for his croup yesterday. I sat and contemplated on giving them to him for a whole day before I actually picked up the prescription.

Never again. This kid and his happy-go-lucky, loving and funny self went out the window today. Hitting, throwing toys at his brother’s head (he’s a pretty good shot, btw) so hard that I am surprised I wasn’t at the ER. Oh, and lest I forget wailing on Evans’ crotch making enough contact to make him hit the floor. On a good note, at least he’s eating and no temp today. Yay?

But now, he sleeps. On the couch. Covered with a beach towel. And here I sit, scared shitless to move him for fear of another 2am wake up call. But, that’s a whole other story. Second 2am-er in a row. Fun times, my friends. Fun, fucking times.

It’s Watson’s duty day so, he’s on the ship tonight. I just finished watching 20/20 where Dylan Klebold’s mom was speaking out for the first time. The entire hour, I was just amazed at how ignorant and insincere this woman seemed. Nothing was ever her fault. She never saw signs of problems. She knew his friends. She never let him hang out with kids whose parents she didn’t know. Yada, yada, yada. It’s called “denial” lady. Almost twenty years later and still not facing any responsibility.

You know, that’s most of the issue with people. Responsibility. When I was in rehab, that was the first thing that was impressed upon us. Own. Your. Shit. The world would be a lot more user friendly if people could just own their shit. Simple concept. Learn it. Live it.

Thinking that I should probably close this up for now. Im about to fall asleep and even though I have so many things that I want to chat you fine people up about, I fear that at this point I would be forcing each word. And being that is not what a blog should be, I shall take my leave. Happy trails and filthy dreams…M