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I’m feeling much, much better than I was yesterday, both physically and emotionally. I think I know now what happened and where the pain came from.

My GI doctor had called me while I was in the morphine haze and I didn’t quite catch it then but I remember now that she mentioned a bit of fluid in my abdomen that could be seen on the CT scan. She mentioned there may have been a cyst that ruptured, but she didn’t sound concerned. This morning I looked up the symptoms, and it sounds exactly like what I went through. I also posted in my ulcerative colitis support group and had a member confirm she had been through very similar and it was also a ruptured cyst.

I feel reassured and validated. I feel like it was reasonable to be seen by a medical professional and it was worth the trip to. I also feel angry. I’m angry that the nurses and doctors were so dismissive and that they rushed me out the way they did. I’m angry that I never get the answers I’m seeking from them. I’m angry for all the pain I’ve dealt with in the past because I was brushed off.

Physically I’m feeling better too. The pain is slowly dulling and dying away. I’m able to move around and I even got out of the house with my wife for some grocery shopping. And, I have to say, I’m really enjoying this social distancing thing. People are more polite, more respectful of boundaries, quieter. The general public has become pleasant to be around. I hope we all retain some of that niceness once the world and real life begin again.