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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Well, ladies, you did it: You've said your vows, the birdseed has been thrown, and now you're ready to hit the reception, do a little Mambo #5 (sure that fad is over, but you like it, dang it), and celebrate with your very own Prince Charming.

[music swelling] I'm talking about the guy of your dreams, the man who swept you off your feet with his suave good looks, his impeccable taste, and his...ah...

[music screeching to a halt] ...closet alcoholism?

Yep, sorry to break it to you, girls, but some of you are going to learn a lot more about your new hubby than you wanted to at your wedding reception, all thanks to his grooms cake.

Like the fact that not only does he enjoy hunting - that you could deal with - but that he also believes plastering a photo of himself with his latest "kill" on a cake surrounded by real shotgun shells is wedding-appropriate.

The red flag in cake #1 is not the groom's rampant alcoholism but his taste in said alcohol. We currently have four bottles of Bud Light in the fridge, waiting to be consumed by the wife and/or future company. And they're welcome to 'em.

A groom obsessed with The Golden Girls? I smell counseling in the distance. I mean, yeah, it was a good show...but a groom's cake? What's next: a Designing Women CCC?

The beer cake is actually rather well executed, in my opinion. Classless, yes, but well executed. It could be kind of funny in some situations (a 21st birthday perhaps?) but yeah...not a wedding. I also like that it's Bud Light...classy! I guess the bride should just count her blessings he isn't into Schlitz or Old Milwaukee or something.

Sadly, I know a number of people who I hope never see this cake (at least before they are married.) Mostly old high school classmates.

Wow. The beer cake is quite special. I can't believe that anyone could love Bud Light THAT much. They should have topped this piece of class with a beer bong. The thing probably belongs in the white trash hall of fame(or shame...)!

Is it just me or do ALL those chocolate strawberries look like animal droppings? I guess that's "appropriate" -- or at least keeping with the theme -- on the Mr. Macho Hunter Man cake, but it's even weirder on the other one.

Who could've ever thought that "the cake that started it all" way back when would lead us to cakes like the ones posted here today. Mere ignorance and spelling mistakes (such as "under neat that" or "it's a gril" etc.)are FAR less scary than the personalities that are reflected in these cakes.

Not sure why everybody loves the tuxedo strawberries so much. They look disturbingly like little dismembered torsos, with the uncoated tops looking all bloody. But maybe it's because I'm not wearing my glasses...

I guess I'm the only one concerned about the choking hazard presented by all those beer caps on cake #1. Especially if that quantity of 'beer' (yeah, I wouldn't drink Bud Light on a dare) had been consumed before cutting the cake.

What's with Grooms Cakes? I'd never heard of such a thing before this year. I didn't have one. My major concern, one that I shared with many of our guests, was that there was cake. Not how it was decorated, not that I had my very own special cake.

Is it bad that I might want the beer cake for my hubby-to-be at our wedding? Maybe just not so wreck-i-licious- I mean the beer dripping down the cake isn't necessary... or appetizing, but boy does my boy love Tecate....

Oh, Lord have mercy. It just gets wreckier and wreckier. And it might just be me, but I wouldn't want shotgun shells or (unless they're made out of gum paste) on anything edible. Mmm, cake with a side of lead poisoning. That's romance!

And I'm sorry, it looks like a blow-up Golden Girl. Either that, or poor Sofia met her Maker and is in the throes of rigor mortis. Creeeepy. I'd think twice about marrying that one.

Is it wrong of me to like the beer cake? I mean, using the cans as a stand and so tastefully laying out the caps is just artful. But the hunting cake--who really wants to eat a dead Bambi cake?? Venison stew is one thing, but chocolate cake? And what's with the sick blue swag?

As long as there was a suitable and lovely wedding cake, I could handle the beer one, just make sure any children don't choke on a bottle cap. Even "Golden Girls" although it's a little weird. But the other two...hmmmmmm.

I'm really, honestly trying to think of one thing in the Golden Girls show that would capture a man's attention for more than ten seconds. I can't. Maybe it was just a joke where she asked him who was on his celebrity cheat with list and he said Estelle Getty so she wouldn't get mad.

Living and baking cakes in the South, we do A LOT of groom's cakes. Very few are surprises from the bride. The guys are really starting to get into designing their own grooms' cake as much as the brides' do the wedding cake. I would guess most of these were "male designed" (well, maybe not the Golden Girls cake!).

The one with the couch is just confusing and wrong ( but kinda well done ! ) The others ? That is the point of Grooms cakes...keep it out of the spotlight and make him think he's really involved in the wedding, put it in a dark corner and hope not too many people see it !

As far as I know we don't have groom cakes in the UK yet but I am used to being exposed to them on my beloved cake wrecks.

Now I always presumed the bride ordered the groom cake but am I now to believe grooms order them themselves!? I cannot imagine what my spouse would come up with, how do bridezillas cope with the not knowing?

We had a groom's cake, but it was classy (and yummy). That last cake not only is inappropriate for a wedding, but it also looks hideous and not very appetizing. Come to my wedding and eat a tombstone cake!! No thanks...

i'm actually kinda digging that hunting cake. it's unique, and totally shows personality! and i'm sure they washed the casings before putting them on the cake. even as a lady, i wouldn't mind a cake with a firearms theme!

Oh my! I love all of these! They're hysterical to my twisted little mind. I only WISH we had thought to have a groom's cake at my wedding. Its not a tradition here in CA. I think it would have been an old car with a bunch of guys around it, under the hood, etc. That's my husband all over.

Honestly, if the bride can't have a sense of humor about the groom's cake, what's the marriage going to be like?

I'm kind of fond of that grave cake, I must say. Not the execution, maybe, but to me it just seems like a silly cake the groom's friends gave him or something as joke. ..Which gives you a pretty good idea of what my guy friends' idea of a joke is.

My brother is getting married in October, but as far as I know he's not having a groom's cake, just the regular tiered cake from our hometown bakery. I wouldn't even begin to wonder what would be on his!

On no planet can I envision the proper place, time, or occasion for a cake like the Golden Girls Wreck. Especially not after the taking of solemn vows of love, honor, and fidelty in front of God and witnesses.

Ok, maybe it's just me and maybe just because I've been married for going on 25 years...but I think these cakes are hysterical and I'd have no problem with them. Are they fairly tacky and tasteless, sure. But so much of the wedding is what the bride wants that I'd have no problem with the groom having something of his choice, even if did give everyone a chuckle.

Groom's cakes, I always assumed their purpose was to have some cake that actually tasted good at the wedding. Most of they weddings I've been to had your standard, it looks beautiful but tastes like shortening cakes and then there was the chocolaty goodness of the groom's cake. M-m-m . . . pass the milk.

The biggest issue of questionable taste here, in my opinion, is the choice of BUD LIGHT as the featured beer. My husband might have considered a Dogfish Head or Avery cake... perhaps even something so obvious as Guinness.

A Bud Light cake, however, would have been grounds for me to request premarital counseling... or at least an educational beer tasting

Nibbles - If I had to guess, I'd say that a true Bridezilla would never allow her groom to select the groom's cake all on his own, without her approval and/or strict supervision.

That Golden Girls one, if it didn't say Golden Girls on it, I'd assume it was a not so subtle hint that the groom and his mommy were a bit too still tied at the apron strings for any sane wife's tastes. It looks like he's holding his (rather awkwardly stiff) mommy on his lap on the couch while the bride fumes. (And thank the Lord it's on a couch and not the honeymoon bed, I can totally see someone changing that couch to a bed for their cake.)

I agree with the posters above who said they'd be down with a beer cake, just not a Bud Light cake. You say it, sistahs!

I *still* don't get why the wedding cake, presumably decided on by the bride and maybe her mom, is supposed to look like some fancy Stepford nightmare, while the groom gets a 'fun' cake (and wrath be upon the bride who wants a fun cake, too!) Like the groom gets to celebrate his interests/hobbies but the bride doesn't have any, so she gets a generic "Wedding Cake".

Anyway, if it were a Gulden Draak cake, a Delerium Tremens cake, an Erdinger cake, a Heffeweisen cake, a Malheur 12% cake, a Bass Ale cake, a Karmeliet cake or a Floris Honey cake, I'd be totally on board! (Can you tell I have a taste for 'expensive and Belgian'?)

Sad to say, It's a good thing all my cousins are married (and other family members), or upon seeing the deer cake, they would have had it not as a grooms cake, but as the main cake! I could easily see that one being a hit back home.

But like I can talk...considering I had the Klingon Great Hall as a wedding cake... :)

And I totally agree with the last comment about that if it was a Gulden Draak cake, it would be awesome! Love that stuff!

I love this blog and have only discovered you a couple of weeks ago. I just found out, however, that the Groom's Cake at this wedding I'm going to in a couple of weeks will have a Steeler's theme. I'll report back...

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