Thursday, June 30, 2011

The dog days of Summer have arrived early because it sure is doggone hot. But for the twelve bucks, your LakeCountyEye would be coolin' right about now to a triple-3D double feature at a surroundsound IMAX. Instead your LakeCountyEye has copped for the next best thing, hunkered down the basement and cold downloading pirated open-source movies courtesy a T-splice into the parental unit's AOL dialup connection.

The one movie everyone is waiting for is the long awaited sequel to The Green Hornet's Nest -- which your LakeCountyEye trenchantly reviewed here, some time ago:

Part One ended with a cliffhanger, where super-duper villain Dr Coroner had the Green Hornet trapped, with no way out, in a hornet's nest of bad management. The plot is way too convoluted to explain, but suffice it to say that the Green Hornet's only escape route turns on producing a full independent public audit report. Lacking any such promised public audit, however, the Green Hornet tries to bluff his way out with a press release full of politically charged hiring recommendations. The document, fabricated by one of his office managers, succeeds in fooling no one.

Having viewed three different R5 bootlegs rough-cuts of the sequel, your LakeCountyEye can confirm the working title of the new movie is ...

Green Hornet's Nest: The Phantom Menace

Spoiler Alert: the big surprise of Part Two is the unexpected appearance of the Green Hornet's infrequent ally, Morainiac. The evil genius Morainiac uses his super-power encyclopedic legal knowledge to lawyer-up and successfully litigate the Green Hornet out of the hornet's nest of bad management, to freedom. For your LakeCountyEye's money, this cameo role saves the film. Posthumously played by veteran British actor Jonathan Adams, Morainiac steals not only his too-few scenes but the entire movie. The grave luckily was no barrier to this once-in-a-lifetime role that Adams was born to play.