This site is dedicated to my spiritual and physical journey before and after the death of my husband and the father of my son from cancer. It is about grieving, loving, understanding and sharing, and living in the connection while accepting the physical separation that passing on brings. It is also about moving forward in your life from whatever challenges life hands you and living the life that is wanted for you from above.

Accepting Belief Systems that Are Different from Our Own

I am putting my belief system out front for a reason. Not to convert you or to make you think the way I do. I am modeling my example for everyone to see how this aspect of GA should work for the greater good of all of us. I do not want people to have to “check their faiths or non-faiths, or belief systems at the door” before entering a meeting. After all, Tenet #1 is belief in a higher power or consciousness. I want to be crystal clear on this subject and it is non-negotiable in order for GA to function as a support organization. My beliefs are unique to me. And I know what I believe could come under some scrutiny. Any one of us could become subject to judgement. And that is not allowed with GA. We want diversity and acceptance. We want everyone to show their colors and not be afraid. But we must not impose our belief systems on others. Grief is a powerful pain and many use faith as a means to work through their pain, including myself. Others will take a different path and that is okay. I think this could easily become the biggest hurtle we have to jump with this organization and that is why I am facing it head on. My fear.. Tenet #6 is Facing your fears. And so by posting this I am facing my fears of chapters of GA’s having issues with people not accepting each others belief systems. So I am sharing my fear with you today in order to move past it and forward. And also sharing my belief system too so that people who are worried that others won’t accept them can see that even the founder of GA is unique.

I have a Christian heritage. And a minor in religion from college. I also have Native American ancestry. I have sough God my whole life. But I don’t believe there is only one way that gets you up to see the Big Guy. Below is a prayer I heard through meditation. My heritage is Native Cherokee. I incorporate my heritage into my faith so that make me unique. I want to be respected for my beliefs. I do not want to force my beliefs on others. I want to share my grief through my understanding of faith. Others will want to share their grief through other religions or no belief in religion. All that Tenet #1 states is belief in the energy of LOVE and how we individually define that love. Because after all:

The very essence of grief is loss; loss over something that was and is still loved.

One must have loved in order to feel loss. When we don’t feel loss, then there is no grief. And we are here because of grief. So we are all here for the same reason. We have all lost what we love. And the core of GA is loss of our loved ones. Tenet #1’s higher power is LOVE in all its forms.

Please, lets let in love in all its forms. And celebrate! Again~ let us become a model for the world at large that is facing dark times.

My Native American Prayer for GA:

The death of a loved one brings on the storm. It rises over the mountains and covers the lake with its shadow. We are very affected by this storm. The wind brings in resentment. The cold rain brings in judgment; trickling uncomfortably down our backs. The mud beneath our feet that soaks in brings in the guilt and anger. This unforgiving riverbank, in the middle of this storm in life is hard to handle, I know . The rain beats at your face, cutting with sharp drops. The wind blows a chill through your body. The clouds make life hard to see to the other side where the sunlight is breaking through.

The Great Spirit wants you to know that you are never alone. He is with you always holding your hand and loving you through the storm. Storms are a necessity in life. They bring in the water and purify the air. They wash away the old and bring forth the new. Know this process is here for you to learn and to grow and to love. You are an old soul to choose a life of loss and grief. You are ascending in this life cycle and learning life’s lessons from farther up the continuum. Take the pain and sorrow you feel and use it to develop compassion and understanding for others. Take the love in your heart and fill it with more souls so you don’t feel the void’s bite. Take the sting from your memory and let it be sent to Mother Earth for absorption, transmutation, and diffusion. Like I am in the sky, allow Mother Earth to ground you as you move forward in this new life of yours. Ground yourself with her energy and bring your life back through the life force in nature. Take walks. Breathe deeply. Think deeply. Look up into the Heavens and see us in the clouds, rainbows, and stars. We can speak to you more fully when you engage us there. Listen with an open heart and with faith that we will always be with you. Guiding you. Loving you. Amen.

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Holly C Barker

My name is Holly Barker and I am the founder of Grief Anonymous, a support organization for grief and loss. I am also the founder of the Grief Resource Network. My husband of 14 years and the father of my son died of Malignant Melanoma skin cancer in 2014. My mission is to write honestly about our journey and to share with those that are going through the loss of a loved one or another challenging experience. I learned through this experience about the process of understanding, accepting what life hands us, and living in the continuum and connectivity to our loved ones that have passed on. If you are stuck and having a difficult time moving forward into the life that is wanted for you from above, follow me on this journey and maybe it will help you, too. Love and Light, Holly