9/3 Big Brother Live Feed Recap : If It Waddles Like A Duck, It's The New HoH

This recap covers events in the house from Thursday noon to Friday noon, house time.

Alrighty, feed addicts…I’m going to give it to you straight. This part of the season is when it gets tough. Not the game, but the actual feed watching. There aren’t many people left in the house and it gets downright boring watching them sleep and sunbathe all day. There is some occasional scheming but when that schemer is someone like Natalie, it’s excruciating to watch. All the same, let’s get to it….

At the start of my shift, Jeff is preparing his last meal…in the BB house, that is. He’s preparing a pasta dish with his favorite vodka sauce and some meat concoction with garlic and mushrooms. He tells Jordan that he’s kind of excited, like he’s going home…but he’s not. He worries that Russell and Jessie are going to him crap in the jury house. Jordo tells him that it’ll get old after a while and he can just relax like he’s on vacation. She cautions him to ignore Russell if he starts going off on him. Jeff will have to just take his knocks for a while until it all calms down. Something tells me it won’t be as bad as he thinks. And if it is, he can handle himself. With any luck, he’ll lay the smackdown on Jessie.

Feeds come back after the live show featuring Jeff’s eviction and the mood is somber in the house. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next HoH…

Classy, no? Get ready for it. She’s going to be running her mouth and patting herself on the back more than ever. The really disturbing part is that she keeps saying this one is for Chima. Chima is a self-entitled bratty bitch who thought she was above the rules of this game. Chima could dish it out but not take it. Chima couldn’t handle the pressure when things weren’t going her way. There’s a lot to be said for birds that flock together. Any respect I had for Natalie’s lying, scheming, and game playing is gone since she thinks Chima deserves some sort of tribute.

Feeds aren’t back for long when they cut to fishies and then trivia. After a little more than an hour, they’re back and surprisingly, houseguests got a luxury competition for clothes. They spend a while trying, trading sizes, and discussing the competition. Sounds like it was a little different from the past and had to work together. Everyone changes into new clothes except for Natalie. She’s going to keep her new bikini on for her HoH reveal. BB also gave them 2 bottles of wine. Jordan promptly opens a bottle and starts drinking. She looks so sad that you can’t help but feel bad for her. She looks just like…well, like she lost her best friend. Sitting at the kitchen counter all alone, she gazes over to the memory wall and Jeff’s black and white picture.

Natalie starts telling Michele and Jordan that she will keep her word. She said to them that Kevin was going on the block and she plans to stick to that. She says that he’s a strong competitor and lies that they only had a F4 deal. She also claims that she won’t say anything to Kevin about her plans and that her nomination speech to him will be true. Show of hands if you believe that. They talk about Russell and Jordan doesn’t think he’d vote for her over Kevin should Kevin make F2 with her. Michele tries to tell her that Russ was just mad and it wasn’t personal.

Natalie’s HoH room reveal is about as fun as a root canal. She got pictures of her dad and her boyfriend. Jordan comments that her friends look much older than 18. Kevin and Michele give each other suspicious looks. Methinks the charade is up. Her HoH refrigerator is stocked with Mike’s Hard Lemonade but no one calls her on it. In her basket, she got Trix, Frosted Flakes, canned fruit, cheddar jalapeno Cheetohs, Cup O'Noodles, Clam Chowder, Red Vines, Bagel Bites and Arizona Iced Tea. Like the others, she got slippers and her blanket. She didn’t get the electric shaver she’s been going on about(Ha Ha) but she got her Alicia Keys CD. If only someone had gotten her a muzzle. Her letter is from her dad…

My Dearest Natalie,
My dearest Natalie if you are reading this letter you won HOH, congratulations. The fact you were chosen means you are special. I want to remind you I love and miss you. I am proud of you either way. Be yourself. Make good decisions. Don't cheapen yourself for any reason. Winning the money is good but not at all costs. The people from my work are watching and cheering too. Anita would be cheering is she would be allowed to watch.
Love, Tu Papa

B-O-R-I-N-G! Sorry, I’m having a hard time getting into Natalie as HoH…mostly because she can’t shut her pie hole. And she waddles like a duck when she walks. It’s annoying. It’s going to be a looooooong week.

At about midnight, Jordan is passed out cold. She had a whole bottle of wine as she mourned Jeff’s eviction so she’ll sleep well. Michele gets called to the DR and Natalie talks game with Kevin. She tells him that she has to nominate him and Michele because it’s what they need to do to get Jordan. She rambles on for several minutes without a breathe telling him that both of them say they want him out. She doesn’t know if it’s true. She even practices her nomination speech on him…“As far as my speech to you – we’ve been friends and I hope you’ll still be my friend, and the reason I nominated you is that earlier on in this game, you felt that I was the queen. And you said the queen is the strongest and needs to get out, so obviously you were targeting me. Unfortunately you’ve failed to realize you have to think three moves ahead(Give me a break).” She thinks her speech is believable because Michele knows all of it. Finally Michele joins them and they go back to talking about Natalie’s pictures. Mostly, Natalie does the talking.

While Natalie is in the DR, Kevin takes the opportunity to offer Michele a F2 deal. He tried to convince her that the best thing to do is get rid of Jordan this week and together, they can get rid of Natalie. Michele hems and haws and agrees with him but didn’t officially accept his deal. When she leaves, Kevin tells Natalie everything and they profess their undying commitment and support for each other. Ugh.

Jordan looks a bit hungover this morning but is determined to do well in the POV competition. Michele lets her know that she drank almost a whole bottle herself. Michele explains to her how the week will work…with the POV holding all the power. She doesn’t really get it but no matter. She just needs to keep doing her solo Jedi training and pull off a win. Fingers crossed she doesn’t fall for Natalie’s lies and allow her to control her.

My shift comes to a close just as it started….a big fat snoozapalooza. The only thing missing is Jeff. Houseguests are on an outside lockdown. Jordan and Michele are sunbathing. Kevin and Natalie are talking about what Natalie’s boyfriend likes. Just lovely. They whisper that no matter what Jordan is safe this week. They want her to go to F3 and Michele is the target. Natalie practices all of her speeches for the umpteenth time…someone just shoot me now if she makes it to the end. Lockdown ends and the highlight of their morning happens…the mini-table has arrived. Another sure sign that the end is near. Hallelujah!

Natalie catches Jordan alone in the backyard to let her know that Michele and Kevin are going up. She tells her that she’ll be honest in her nomination speeches, unlike others who just aim to pacify people this late in the game. She’s overselling her honesty so much that anyone other than Jordan would see right through it. Natalie also makes her bid for F2 telling Jordan that Michele or Kevin would win over them in F2 because the jury typically votes for the most strategic player. In closing, they comment how weird it is that one person from each clique is left. Weird indeed.