The Vampire Diaries is a great show. It's charming, and wry, and silly. I've watched it from the start. Hi Julie Plec, I love you. True, I wasn't out and proud when it came to sharing my passion for it with others at first, but over time, that changed. Its critics need to take a step back. The show is savvy, self-aware, snarky, and not afraid to tackle dark emotional material. Dare I say, there have been very gritty story arcs.

The strength of a show can be determined by its willingness to "kill its darlings." The Vampire Diaries has maybe killed off more characters than Boardwalk Empire.* But it's reached a point now, where in order to follow the action from episode to episode, it might behoove me to create a chart. The storylines all turn in on themselves, the mythology is intense and riddled with loopholes.

Toss the concept of "doppelgangers" into the mix, and you've added a seemingly endless array of crucial roles all played by the same two actors. What I'm saying is this. I'm not a dumb woman, but the show has become damn complicated.

This week, perhaps most importantly, we finally met the Original Witch Vicki GunvalsonQetsiyah. I swear to god. They named her that just to mess with late-night bloggers who are terrible at "spelling" and "facts." Surprise for all youTrue Bloodfans, it was Luna! Everybody's favorite now-deceased shapeshifter! We thought we knew that story of Qetsiyah's rage -- turns out, that's only a portion of the tale. Because Silas's real true love who he spurned Q-Dame to be with? ANOTHER ELENA-LOOKING DOPPELGANGER.

I know it's messed up. You know who else thinks so? Damon. Especially when he hears that the Stefan and Elena doppelgangers are designed by the universe to be together. And you thought YOUR relationship had problems! (Lolololol I hate myself.) Anyway, this doesn't prevent Damon from rescuing a soggy and thirsty Stefan from Q-Dame's clutches. Sadly, all is not perfect. Stefan has amnesia. Of course he does. Because now the show is a low-rent soap opera. I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU WRITERS.

This episode did not have enough (any) Caroline Forbes. I also don't know how much longer I can sustain interest in newbie Nadia and the fact that she put her dead boyfriend's 'traveler' spirit inside of Matt's body. Oh wait, yes I can. Because I just stopped caring. You've got to give me a little bit more, show. And just a word of warning, if Matt gets killed off and these recaps abruptly stop, it's because I've started driving to L.A. to have a conversation with the writers about a little concept I call "total betrayal of your audience."

Are you still following the story, or just watching to see when Ian Somerhalder will next remove his man-blouse? YOU'RE WELCOME: