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Dear thieves: Take my wallet, not my phone

Hey person about to forcibly take my valuable goods through threat of harm, I have a very important request for you. I’m asking this nicely, in a public forum so that my wishes on this topic are a matter of record. Take my wallet if you must. But please don’t take my smartphone. Look, I always knew there was a chance I’d get mixed up in one of these things. Instances of robbery have been on the rise the last few years in most sections of America. According to the latest statistics provided by the FBI (which admittedly are about a year…