January 1, 2015

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Theme for 2015: Become Impatient

by alive

It’s that time of the year again! That time when we dream up goals to meet and fantasize about successes to accomplish in the next 365 days, full of hope and motivation and confidence. It’s Day 1 of the new year, and many people will be rushing to get their new year resolutions in order, if they haven’t already.

This time of year there are a lot of touchy feely sentiments. It’s great that resolutions often come from positive places of love, friendship, peace and hope. Like they did last year. And the year before that.

This year however, I’m doing things differently, and challenging you to do the same.

The theme for 2015?

Become Impatient.

As the years go by, we become increasingly cognizant of how precious time is, and decreasingly tolerant about wasting it. When you’re young, you can spend more time in fantasy and less time actually doing anything, because the future is unknown and there is much room for imagination and best case scenarios.

As you get older however, you become more aware that the future is nigh, if not already here. And if you don’t knuckle down and work like hell to make your dreams a reality, it’s all on you. At age 35 and above, you don’t have the luxury of fantasizing “somehow, some day I will have/ be/ do…” the way you could at age 15 or 25. You have to do it now.

So if you’ve been forever stuck with the same new year resolutions, year after year, then admit it: nothing’s happened. And it’s time to get impatient about fixing the things that might be holding you back.

Here are some ideas, contributed from people I know, as well as culled from my own experiences, that might echo something you need to become impatient with, and actually SET THINGS IN MOTION.

Situations

Become impatient with situations that have drained you and are impediments to accomplishing true happiness in the most important areas of your Life.

Become impatient with a job that gives you zero satisfaction. Maybe it’s a boring, dead-end job, where that promised promotion has eluded you for years and which is the only reason you are hanging on hoping that maybe, this is the year. It is high time you change your job situation for real, or change your job altogether.

Become impatient with putting off the real work needed to get a mega dream started. Can’t wait to start on what motivational guru Anthony Robbins calls your “magnificent obsession”. If you have been thinking it for years, and only thinking, chances are it’s not that magnificent. It’s not even an obsession, just something that will forever remain a pipe dream. Either drop it, or do up an action list and starting DOING things on that list.

Become impatient with a long-suffering, toxic relationship. It’s admirable to try to make relationships work, but if you’ve given it a real effort and you’ve gotten nothing but stress, unhappiness, abuse, restriction, self-doubt, emotional damage, and other such toxic drains, it’s time to quit. Don’t let it eat into other areas of your Life and prevent you meeting other people with whom you could be building better quality, mutually fulfiling relationships.

People

Become impatient with people who are negative influences, and take away from your Life rather than add to it. There are many people like this, some obvious and some less so. You need to learn to recognize them.

Become impatient with hanging onto a lost cause. Maybe it’s someone who is an inveterate gambler or spendthrift who has squandered all the aid you’ve ever given him. It could be someone who keeps going back to the drugs despite all the loving support and rehab. It could simply be someone who will never ever see your point of view on something important to you. For many people, it’s someone who keeps letting them down again and again, despite repeated counselling, exhortations, and negotiations.

Become impatient with wooing people without success. Wooing can mean someone you’ve been chasing romantically, a friendship you’ve been trying to cultivate, or someone you are trying to reach out to. If you’ve given of yourself with sincerity and selflessness and still cannot break down walls, arouse interest, keep getting the runaround, or just get ignored, move on to someone who will reciprocate and appreciate. You may be doing both sides a favour.

Become impatient with parasitic relationships. Have a friend who only wants to ‘catch up’ when they want something from you? In a relationship with a girl who smiles only when you buy her stuff? In business with someone who seems content to let you do all the hard lifting? Run, don’t walk away from these people. You need to have quality relationships to have a Full Life.

Yourself

Become impatient with yourself when it comes to procrastinating, making excuses, and whining in general. These negative behaviours are classic examples of short term comfort and escapism from self-responsibility. They come at the expense of long term success and happiness.

Become impatient about Getting Things Done, be they areas of responsibility you’ve been putting off, or the actual work necessary to accomplishing your goals. Many things need to be done, and not all of them will be pleasant. In fact some may be downright unpleasant. But they are necessary for success. Not doing these unpleasant things means NO success for you. How long more do you want no success?

Become impatient about contributingto others. Stop saying “Someday, when I…“. It’s about “Today, I will…” You do NOT need to be rich, have it good, be comfortable, 100% stress-free, or saintly to add to other people’s Lives. Just by practising consideration, AOKs, and asking “What can I do for _________ today?” you are on your way to doing good for someone else.

Be impatient about expressing love and saying thank you. You have been blessed with people who have been there for you during tough times, some you may very well have taken for granted. Like your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, parents, siblings, friends. Don’t wait for an artificially created special occasion to say “Thank you.” or “I love you.” The appropriate day for that is today. That time is RIGHT NOW.

Get impatient about GETTING FIT and HEALTHY! I can’t emphasize this enough. Being healthy is the most basic foundation upon which you can build many things: from a successful business, to relationships full of possibility, to valuable experiences and adventures you will treasure for the rest of your Life. The more time elapses before you get serious about a Healthy Lifestyle, the further along the clock ticks to an inevitable outcome – disease, infirmity, and unnecessary tragedy.

Being in good health is the bedrock, the foundation, the keystone. Without it, what you can add to your Life and to those of people you love is limited. It is the reason I started AA35, both the blog and the business – to evangelize and energize this message. I am sick and tired of seeing younger people getting diabetes, heart attacks, high blood pressure, and a lot of other hypokinetic diseases, that could have been avoided by taking their health seriously. I’m sick and tired of seeing so many people short circuit their happiness, success, and in some cases, even their lives. Avoidable tragedies all, with so much wasted potential.

Life is precious. Each year that passes is time you cannot recover. What is left of that year are the results from everything you did, or did not do. It’s hard to see it when you’re young. You have more excuses then, not to mention room for fantasy.

But if you’re already 30, 35 or more, you have to realise that while age is just a number, accountability to yourself is not. If you have aspirations and dreams, it’s time to get cracking. If you have resolutions that are on the list year after year, it’s time to get become impatient.

About

Alive After 35 is a blog for my patients, my clients, my friends, my family, and anyone wanting to lead a full Life and stay young. It doesn't matter if you're 35, 45, or 55. It doesn't matter if you've just been diagnosed with diabetes, recovering from heart surgery, or been overweight for years and now want to do something about it. Whatever your age, whatever your condition... if you want to maintain, regain or improve your ability to live Life to the full, and are willing to MOVE for it, this is for you!