I am not gay, but if I was I would want to get married. Being married isn’t such a big deal. It is just a title and, frankly, most marriages end in divorce or infidelity, and every husband and wife spends at least some time wishing they were not married. But, a perfect marriage is aspirational and who wouldn’t want that? I think planning a wedding as a gay man would be extremely fun and, unlike un-gay weddings, both partners would be actively involved in the planning.

The hot story this week is the commencement of gay marriage in New York. I don’t understand why any heterosexuals care. This is one of those issues that really does not impact anyone other than those whose status has changed. Those who oppose gay-marriage secretly believe that by denying homosexuals civil and human rights, maybe they will change their minds and switch back.

Here’s the problem. Anti-gays think that homosexuality is a choice. Gays believe that sexual orientation is genetic. Both arguments are absurd and were invented in order to defend or vilify gay people. First, no one chooses to be gay. Homosexuals are abused, hated, oppressed, and even killed just because they are gay. For most of history, announcing that you are gay meant a lifetime of pain, misery, and discrimination. Who would choose that? It’s why the image of hiding in a “closet” was invented and still exists today. No one in their right mind would choose that sort of life and yet, over the centuries – – even when being gay meant death – – millions of people were, in fact, gay.

On the other hand, one is not born gay. There is no gay gene. For those who harbor hope that such a gene will be found, keep dreaming. Genetic traits – – even if the actual gene has not yet been mapped – – are consistent. They are hereditary and, with extremely rare exceptions, can be statistically determined and proven. Two parents with blue eyes, will ALWAYS have children with blue eyes. Two parents with brown eyes will have brown-eyed children 75-100% of the time, depending on their own dominant/recessive makeup. Mixed parents will result in 50-75% brown-eyed children, depending on their genetic code. In other words, for genetic traits, there are unflappable statistics that govern the traits of children. There is no correlation whatsoever between the sexual orientation of parents and their children. None. The numbers are so skewed as to demonstrate that, at least genetically, sexual orientation is random.

Thus, one neither chooses to be gay, nor is born gay. So, what determines sexual orientation? I have no idea. But, importantly, I don’t care. Hating gay people just because they are gay is like hating black people or Jewish people just because of who they are. It’s hatred for the sake of hatred. It’s a colossal waste of time and energy. If killing homosexuals didn’t “cure” them, denying them the right to marry probably won’t either. But, along the way, we will spend a ton of time and money accomplishing nothing more than sowing the seeds of hatred and discrimination.

You cannot stop a force of nature. In this case, the force is not sex, it’s love. Why is it a good idea to replace the love of two homosexuals with the hate of those who would stand in their way? Do we really have nothing more important to worry about?

Enough is enough. Let the partying begin.

Thanks to you, this blog has reached unimaginable successes over the last year. Over 180,000 readers- – which sets a WordPress record. It was mentioned on WCBS radio as “smart, edgy, and witty.” The feedback has been great – – even when I totally disagreed. So, thanks for that. Please take a moment now, go to the home page, (aweisbrot.wordpress.com) and enter your email address on the right side in order to subscribe to the blog. You will ONLY get an email when I post a new entry. That’s it. And, if you like what you read, please take a minute and send this link to your friends, neighbors, and enemies. Thanks again.

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About aweisbrot

Ari is a partner in the Litigation Department of an historic and renowned law firm located in New York. He has been featured on CBS Radio’s Wall Street Journal Report, quoted in legal and non-legal periodicals, and has been recognized as a “SuperLawyer” in New Jersey and a "Top Ten Lawyer to Watch" in New York.
Mr. Weisbrot is a true “client’s lawyer,” representing a diverse range of clients from among the largest retailers in the United States to smaller local businesses to religious and charitable organizations.
Ari was appointed by Supreme Court of the State of New Jersey to a three-year term of service on the Committee on Character. The Committee determines the fitness to practice law of each candidate for admission to the Bar of the State. Mr. Weisbrot also continues to serve on the District Ethics Committee (IIB - Bergen County), which operates under the auspices of the New Jersey State Office of Attorney Ethics.
Mr. Weisbrot has been awarded an 'AV' rating for his professionalism and the quality of his legal work from Martindale-Hubbell, the premier directory of legal professionals, and has been selected by his peers as a Super Lawyer. In addition, Mr. Weisbrot has written several articles on commercial litigation, which have been published in the New Jersey Law Journal and the Metropolitan Corporate Counsel.
A Former New York City prosecutor, Mr. Weisbrot is a graduate of Fordham University School of Law, where he was a member of the Urban Law Journal and a featured columnist in the Law School newspaper

1 Response to Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

I believe that being gay is a matter of a degree rather than a binary characteristic. Could there be a range of “gayness” from exclusively gay, through mostly gay, both gay and heterosexual, mostly heterosexual, all the way to exclusively heterosexual?

I wonder if there is a correlation between ones position on the above scale and hatred of gays. Is it possible that this is a circular scale, where the two extremes actually merge? Perhaps those that hate gay people are at least slightly gay themselves? Perhaps the thought of having even slight gay tendencies makes them cringe? I’m just wandering…