“It weighs 1.2 million pounds,” he said. “If this screen were made of meat, it would be a major health hazard.”

Conan O’Brien’s “Clueless Gamer” segment aired last night, featuring some old and new games like, “Flower,” “Street Fighter II: HD,” and “Madden.” O’Brien, as usual, bumbled his way through seventh-generation console titles while spouting funny quips throughout.

Under his stellar leadership, the New England Patriots were thoroughly trounced by the Dallas Cowboys who didn’t even make it to the playoffs last year. In “Need for Speed,” Coco wrecked his squad car after only traveling 4.2 miles.

During game time, a group of children lay on the gridiron and spelled out “Conan.” Maybe he just put them to sleep?