Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The Vikings Getting an Extra Home Game in 2017 is Hogwash

Why do you think the Vikings twitter is so excited about this game? Because it's a 9th home game, that's why. You might be thinking (if you're even reading this) to yourself "What in the world are you talking about? The game is in London, the Vikings play in Minnesota." But lucky for you, I happen to be an absolute stud when it comes to maps and geography, I know how to use Google, I love history, and I consider myself to be decently woke at most times. And if there were ever a time to #StayWoke it would be right here. Because the Minnesota Vikings just schemed themselves into a 9th home game in 2017. And here's why:

Minnesota Vikings fans truly believe that they are Vikings. They aren't just fans, they're real Vikings. Where do Vikings come from, you may ask? Well, here's a history lesson for you. They come from Scandinavia, which is in Europe. Particularly Sweden, Norway and Denmark. London also happens to be in Europe. And due to the fact that Europe is fucking embarrassingly small to the tune of Europeans all using the same currency like losers, I thought the Vikings might be onto something here. And here is where I used my pretty solid research skills.

Flight Time from Cleveland, OH to Cleveland, OH: 0 hours and 0 minutes

Flight Time from Minneapolis, MN to Cleveland, OH: 1 hour and 43 minutes

Now it doesn't take a mathematician to realize that the Vikings will have a distinct advantage in this game in London. Imagine if it were in Cleveland? Vikings fans (aka real Vikings) would be severely outnumbered by Cleveland fans in their dawg masks and dawg pound signs screaming their heads off begging for a victory they haven't gotten in 2 seasons. In London however? Well judging by travel time and logistics, you might see even more of a lopsided advantage when it comes to the fan base representation...just with the teams flipped. Real Vikings will travel from Oslo, Copenhagen and Stockholm to see their team finally play across the pond on their side of the world, while Cleveland fans struggle with bank-breaking flight prices and turn away due to the 8 hour plane ride and time changes all in just one weekend. Even the Browns fans that do make it out to London will be so tired they won't be the same Browns fans that cheer their team to 0 wins every season anyway. These Scandinavian Vikings fans will be so savage at this game they might just murder all the Browns fans and make the home field advantage complete for the Minnesota Vikings. Don't be surprised to see the Minnesota Vikings feel right at home in Minneapolis despite being in London come fall 2017. #Skol indeed.