Why PornMD Is a Better Experience Than Pornhub

If you're horny for statistics, PornMD is your new jam.

Looking for porn is a lot like going to Target. You want to get in, find what you want, and get out before you’re looking at useless soda machines and wooden signs that say “Live Laugh Love.” Like any superstore, a good, free porn website is going to try and keep you there as long as it can, but data shows most porn viewers only spend about ten minutes searching for, watching, and then quickly exiting out of pornography. So, where can you do that best?

Although Pornhub has revitalized its brand lately, handing out anonymous user data like condoms on college campuses and financing good-faith studies in sexuality, it’s unfortunately not the optimum free porn aggregator. That honor belongs to PornMD, an affiliate of the Pornhub Network which searches sites like Pornhub (as well as your RedTubes, your XTubes, your YouPorns, your BangBuses) and combines the most popular results in one page of results. Going to Pornhub immediately is like shopping for a flight on one airline’s website; what, are they giving you perks? Do you get a free checked bag for looking at Pornhub directly? No. Go to PornMD — the Google Flights of porn aggregators.

This is a simulation of you searching for what you want on PornMD.

Now, the only glaring issue with PornMD is that its three primary categories are clearly aimed at transphobic straight guys. Think for a second about how hilariously out of touch this is: you choose between “Straight” (which includes lesbians?), “Gay” (cis-man on cis-man only), and “Shemale,” which is a veritable slur for non-binary, femme-presenting people with a penis, right out of the 1980s. If you’re too turned off by some straight cis-man’s definition of porn categories, check out Inverse’s guide to Reddit porn instead — it’s much more inclusive and creative.

That said, if you’re horny, in a rush, and can decide between three misnamed and offensive categories, click on.

Now, let’s imagine you’re doing your usual routine, typing in, say, “lesbiams” as Pornhub says Texans are wont to do, and you come across a video featuring an actress you’ve seen before. She’s blonde, she’s older than the average porn actress, and she often plays a maternal or educational character in porn videos, sometimes with a younger woman, and sometimes with a younger woman and that girl’s virginal boyfriend. On a site like Pornhub, most video titles are optimized for SEO, so everything looks like “fuck slutt xxx hot creampie girl omg.” That’s not helpful.

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PornMD actually tags most of its videos with performers’ names, so if you click the girls’ names while watching, you come to profiles about each of them. Turns out the blonde mother type you liked is Brandi Love.

Brandi Love's pithy bio on Porn MD

In the event that you finish watching porn and you’re still curious about the site’s UX — but let’s be honest, you’re either asleep or pretending you didn’t just jerk off — you can check out PornMD’s cool “Live Search” function, which lets you watch everyone in the world search PornMD. At the time of this article’s writing, the following were being searched on the site:

My dad ... on a leash ... blackmailing his son. That's the worst game of CLUE, ever.

If you change Live Search’s filters to only show you what Americans are searching for, you get a lot more specific porn star names, and a lot more videos about humiliating women. You also discover that one guy is really interested in whether a porn star named Tracey has purchased new underwear yet.

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

If you’re feeling horny for more sweet, sweet data, PornMD also has a Global Top Searches function which plots popular phrases on a map of our world. The United States, Canada, and most of Western Europe are into teens and MILFs — no surprise there — but the data from African countries is interesting. Egypt, for example, searches mostly Egyptian phrases meaning some version of “sex,” or the term “Arab,” or just the country “Egypt” or “Egyptian” in English. Next door in Libya, people are searching “Arab” as well, but they’re also looking for “mom” and, specifically, “my daddy.” All the way down in South Africa, people are searching “Indian”; meanwhile, in India, they’re also searching “Indian,” “Desi,” and “Pakistani.”

The number one search in the world, however, is "anal."

The most popular porn search terms in the world, which are related to where the porn performers come from, are “Indian” and “Japanese.”