Exploring Gender Identity

Why Did You Transition?

by Sequoia Elisabeth on December 5, 2014

Transition is a process everyone goes through at one point or another on the ‘Journey of Love’. Speaking through the perspective of one who has transitioned gender I must question this entire process and I do quite often! Here are my thoughts on the subject, mostly directed to other Trans* individuals.

Often I hear other Trans* people saying they transitioned to be themselves or to be true to their soul. While I do believe this is true on the soul level, it is not the reason we transition on the physical level or even the emotional level. Let’s be honest with each other here, esp. with yourself. Just admit that you transitioned in an attempt to fit into society. What you really desire is to “belong”. There are always those who transitioned for the sex, but that is another story.

This is flawed on several levels. First off, as a member of the Human Race you belong. As a soul body you belong and are loved by many other souls, esp. those in your soul group. Whether those souls are with you on this journey is not important. Connection exists always, even and esp. after death. You are never alone.

By our very nature we (trans*persons) are a contradiction to known and accepted norms, but in some way each individual is different. No body fits in! So I ask you, “what is the truth here?”, “why did you transition?” Perhaps it was to make life easier or so you thought. Here is my reasoning: I am very feminine anyway, so why shouldn’t I just be the feminine male was born as and stop hiding my feelings. I used to tell myself, feminine men are sexy to other women, we have so much in common and it is easy to relate to one another. This theory was supported in two marriages which did not fail till it came to sex. In fact, those around me also supported this perspective, feminine men are attractive… just look at how many female friends gay men have! OK, so that is all well and good, but I am not attracted to men, but to women. Does this make me a lesbian? A male lesbian just flies in the face of reason!

So being honest here, perhaps you are attracted to men, but this being unacceptable in the average hetero world, your feelings have been repressed or you are attracted to females strictly because you are in a male body. So there you have it, a female brain, male genitalia and thus the confusion! Do we follow the brain or the body? This is of course not including the heart which in the end really runs the show. So no we don’t transition for sex, this is about gender after all.

Incongruency is the real issue for Trans* persons. The real honest reason we transition is in order to attain a livable level of congruency. I am not convinced I will ever feel congruent in a human body, but there again that is another story. Perhaps you feel the same way. The bottom line is simply in order to relate in a dualistic world you must be one or the other and since you don’t fit where you are, then you must fit as the other! Wrong!!

Here is another view point using history as our guide. Diversity, variance, and random order are the very nature of life on earth. There is no duality, but our society has forced one into existence and when you force things, they break. Our society is broken in more ways than one. Can we fix it? Do we really want to? It really is not hard you know. Looking back Native peoples have embrace their Trans* members for the most part as they found their way depending on their inner nature. Each culture naturally stratifies with each member finding their place based on the greater societal structure. So where does this put Trans* members of our society (western society)?

What if from a personal perspective you simply accepted things as they are. If your male yet feminine, then just accept that. If you feel one way, but are equipped in the opposite then accept this as nature’s choice. If you are Ok with it, others will be too. At first you will probably experience resistance but with consistency things will change and you will find congruency with not only yourself but the world at large as well. Surgery is a tool to make the illusion of this world seem congruent, but if you do not make this shift in your own consciousness all you have done is deepen your ego’s hold on you. So when you say you are being true to yourself, then be honest and figure out who you are! I can assure you it is not your ego!