Adolescence and Readiness for College

Here’s an important question for parents to ask and answer. “Is our graduating high school senior ready for college?”

They can begin answering by accepting how getting into college is no guarantee of completing college which figures suggest is a chancy proposition. How chancy? The college retention rate usually refers to the per cent of college freshman who return sophomore year, or the percent of college freshman who manage to graduate within six years. Retention rates vary considerably between colleges. By either measure, the average is sobering.

"According to the U.S. Department of Education, Center for Educational Statistics, only 50% of those who enter higher education actually earn a Bachelor's degree." (See Journal of College Retention, Center for the Study of College Retention.)

The message here is that a lot of young people who get into college don’t complete it. Therefore, as parents you might consider asking three questions. The first is to ask the college your adolescent is considering: “What is your retention rate for college freshman?” The second question to ask the college is: "What percent of all freshmen graduate?" The third question is more individual and subjective, and parents must ask it of themselves: “In our opinion, how psychologically ready is our adolescent for college?” This is harder to assess and answer, but what this blog attempts to help parents do.

After counseling with many college students who flunk out and return home during or after freshman year (and writing “Boomerang Kids” in 2011), the primary lack of readiness I often see is not academic (inadequate knowledge and study skills), but psychological (undeveloped habits of effective self-management.)

For these last stage adolescents (18-23) who lose their footing, there are many traits for effective self-management in the more complicated world of college that often seem to be wanting. It’s not that these behaviors can’t be learned; it’s just that they haven’t been learned yet. In such cases, back in high school, it might have been worthwhile for parents to have checked out the teenager’s psychological readiness for college before sending their son or daughter off to pursue a chancy (and financially expensive) higher education.

Like most outcomes in life, I believe college graduation is multiply determined by numerous factors, among them by many psychological traits parents can observe. Completely anecdotal, here is a list of a few such traits noticed in counseling that seem to me to make a difference. The more they are present, the more they may help a young person meet the challenge of college; the more they are absent, the more they may make meeting the challenge harder to do.

COMPLETION -- tends to finish what starts and not disengage before the end.

TIMELINESS – tends to meet obligations on-time and not indulge in costly procrastination.

REST – tends to get sufficient sleep and not be stressed by sleep deprivation.

COMMITMENT – tends to keeps word to self and others and does not default on promises.

PERSISTENCE – after frustration or failure tends to keep trying and not give up.

RESPONSIBILITY – tends to own consequences of choices and not make excuses or blame.

SELF-CORRECTION -- tends to learn from mistakes and not ignore what they have to teach.

SELF-DISCPLINE – tends to make one’s self do what’s hard and not avoid what isn’t easy, pleasurable, or fun.

CONSISTENCY – tends to maintain continuity of effort to support what feels important and not let beneficial practices go.

INTEGRITY – tends to match actions taken with values held and not betray true beliefs.

THRIFT – tends to live within a budget and not fall prey to impulsive spending.

SOBRIETY – tends to use alcohol and other drugs in moderation and not to excess.

MEDICATION – tends to maintain prescribed psychoactive medication as it was supervised at home and not stop it on one’s own.

BALANCE – tends to engage with a full spectrum of offline life demands and not disproportionately escape into online entertainment instead.

COMMUNICATION – tends to speak up for what is wanted and does not shut up to avoid declaration or disagreement.

COURAGE—tends to brave the unknown as part of new experience and not withdraw from what is unfamiliar and different out of fear.

SOCIABILITY – tends to be a maker of friends and a joiner and not a loner who keeps to themselves.

CONTENT – tends to like the person he or she is and does not depend on others for self-esteem and sense of worth.

ADMISSION – tends to be honest about mistakes and misdeeds and does not lie or deny about what happened.

MEMORY – tends to remember what matters and not forget what was needed, planned, or promised.

ORGANIZATION – tends to maintain order and schedule and not lack a system for keeping track of belongings and responsibilities.

AMBITION – tends to set goals to meet and not lack direction or motivation.

PROBLEM SOLVING – tends to strategize and figure out whatever is going wrong and not flounder or give up when encountering difficulty.

WORK ETHIC – tends to work hard for grades and not be an easy achiever who performed well without much effort.

SUPPORT – tends to earn money to independently pay some expenses and not totally financially depend on parents.

Obviously, no young person is likely to have all these and other helpful self-management traits in good working order, but I believe the more of them parents can encourage in their son or daughter during the high school years, the greater the chance for achieving college graduation may be.

If parents have cause to think their high school senior is lacking a lot of important skills that will be needed in college (for example, can’t make allotted money last, procrastinates about school work, is without future goals to achieve, excessively escapes into online or video entertainment, suffers sleep deprivation from inadequate rest) they may want to delay college attendance for a preparation or growth year to develop more readiness.

During this year off, the young person can practice some self-management habits that will be needed – in the example above, like budgeting money, completing on-line or community college classes on time, earning and saving money for future college expenses, moderating Internet and TV entertainment, and routinely scheduling sufficient sleep.

Although in magnitude, going to college creates more independence than driving a car, they are the same in this. In both cases, parents have to decide if, in their estimation, the young person has sufficient self-management skills to responsibly handle a significant increase in personal freedom. Most parents know enough not to let an impulsive 16-year-old drive – the physical skills may be in place, but restraint from mature judgment is not. They insist on a delay until more evidence of competence is shown. They could treat competence for college in a similar way.

Because the incompletion rate in higher education is so high, parents might want to factor in a consideration of psychological readiness before sending their son or daughter off to college. In cases where they have ample cause to believe their older adolescent is psychologically unready, they might want to recommend a delay, the young person taking a growth year to practice needed habits before starting to attend.

First off, most parents aren't going to keep their kids home from college because college has been driven into society as something necessary to succeed in life. Also, I actually read an article back in 2003 in a Psychology Today magazine that stated that a support system from family can make a huge difference in the life of a young adult. When young adults don't have somewhere to turn when they are faced with crossroads, they fall prey to get rich schemes or just need to leave school to work three jobs and put a roof over their head.

There are various reasons why students start college and don't finish it. One of them could be that their parents aren't supportive enough. Yet you never mention that possibility. If a parent cares enough about their kids, they should be fostering these qualities in them as they grow up, not waiting until they are 18 and have been hounded for the last 14 that they must go to college. Also, I can't believe it was included on here that the kids must work for pay throughout college as to be successful after college, a kid should be free to engage in extra-curricular activities and unpaid internships. This article seems trite to someone who left for college with most of these qualities but couldn't finish school as a young adult because their one living parent decided to choose a new wife over his daughter. It happens more than you think, too.

Between rising fees that colleges and universities charge, and rising interest rates that student loan busineses levy, parents and students should cost out what they can realistically afford to pay during and after the 4 - 6 years it can take to get a college degree. A "pricey" college may not practically be worth the money when a student graduates into crushing debt.
In addition,to reduce part of educational expense, community college and accredited online courses may be able to be taken, and counted, to lower the overall cost.

After twelve years of compulsory schooling, I think many students suffer from educational fatigue -- some pursuing college because they have been lead to believe they "should," not because they want to.
It may be that working and waiting until educational fatigue wears off will cause you to "want" college education for your own sake. If not, that is fine too.

This article describes where I was 20 years ago. I was a socially awkward, introverted teen who's childhood had been terrorized by my borderline mother. My parents started me in school a year early because I tested so well, but they never considered the social and emotional risks of this decision. I was a straight-A student up until adolescence, when the hormones hit and I suddenly realized that my mother's love was contingent on my performance in school. As soon as I got my first C grade, I was split bad in my mom's world and I suddenly became the object of constant derision, the blame for my mother's depression and the focus of my mother's paranoia (i.e. she found a beer bottle in the woods behind the house; a sign I was definitely doing drugs). I headed off to a mediocre college, and the shock of being on my own and away from my mother's abuse was too much for me to handle at 17. I flunked out in my second year. I eventually was able to get my life on track on my own terms and I am now a highly successful professional. I would have liked to have a positive college experience, and a year off to prepare would have done me a world of good. Unfortunately this wasn't an option, but I will be watching my children closely for any signs they might not be ready when the time comes.

Yes, if you're not psychologically ready to go right from high school to college, a preparation year to further get oneself ready can be very helpful. Perhaps it can reduce the substantial likelihood of flunking out.

This topic is so important to me. I was terrified of going off to college - they'd spent all of high school pounding the idea into my head that college would be so much harder and so much more important. When I tried to broach the idea of a gap year or a technical school or anything other than committing right out of the gate at 17-and-11-months to four years of bachelor's degree, I just got a stinkeye and a "you're going, not optional". The only way I could get any kind of parental support was college - if I wanted to so much as explore the vague options of anything else, I'd have had to move out and pay for myself immediately.

I turned out to have a good college experience. I would not have survived if I had to pay for it myself - at least my parents had their money where their mouth was. I now have a halfway-decent office job making $27k doing nothing remotely related to my major.

I wish so badly that College Or Bust was not so prominent, especially among wealthy high schools like mine. I knew that culinary and beauty school existed, but I was curious if there was anything else I could study that way. No one would even consider helping me. Trade school wasn't good enough.