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Marlboro Man and Pioneer Woman Get a Flat

Marlboro Man and I were feeding horses when we got a flat tire. And we were out in the middle of nowhere—and I mean nowhere—when the flat occurred.

And I was hungry, not having eaten breakfast because I was assured by a certain cowboy in my life that we only had three pastures to feed, and then we’d head back to the house. And then the flat happened. And I got a little cranky.

Not quite as cranky as a certain cowboy in my life , however, when he discovered that someone had appropriated his “four-way.” And apparently, he had to have this “four-way” to remove his spare tire from the back of the truck. He stood there for a moment and shook his head. Then he said “dammit.”

Then I asked him, “Honey? What’s a four-way?” Because seriously, I had no idea. I wasn’t trying to act all “Fiddle dee dee, I don’t know what a four-way is. Would you please tell me because you’re a big strong cowboy and I’m not?” I really—really—had never heard the term “four-way” before it came out of his luscious mouth.

Anyway, Marlboro Man answered, “It’s the tool I need to get my spare off the back.”

And I said, “Oh—you mean a crow bar?”

Then he looked at me and paused. Then he said, “Never mind.”

Then he removed his phone from the pocket of his teal green coat and called a cowboy and asked him to bring him a four-way. And while we waited for the cowboy to bring us the four-way, Marlboro Man set out on the business of loosening all the lug bolts or wing nuts or nut jobs, or whatever those things are called, with his lung bar or crow wrench or L-bar. Or something.

Anyway, I just decided to watch. Because I like to watch. And because I knew if Marlboro Man needed my assistance, he’d holler.

He never did holler. In case you were wondering.

Oh! And this is a four-way:

I came home and did research, you know. I’m hungry for knowledge of any kind. I’m always seeking out new and interesting information about the world.

And this I promise: I’ll always come back here and share with you what I find out.

OK, I answered yes, but I honestly don’t know if I have ever heard that term. I answered yes because I knew what you were talking about as soon as you said it. I’ve always heard it called a tire tool. Funny, you don’t technically use it on a tire, do you? You use it on the lug nuts. Maybe it should be called a nut tool. Maybe we should just stick with four-way.

http://bumblebeeblog.com Robin at Bumblebee

And your marriage survived the four-way incident?

I know what this tool is, but before now it never had a name. That’s why I read blogs. To learn something every day.

Thank you, Ree.

Robin at Bumblebee

http://mamadb.blogspot.com/ Mama DB

Oh Lord, I am still laughing about the “lung bar”.

Lyndsey

Yup. I’ve heard of a four way. But I’ve never used one. Did you know that some cars require the use of a special key to get all the lugnut thingamabobbers off?

http://1000timesno.net Jen

In Cincinnati, a four-way is spaghetti topped with meat chili, covered with grated cheddar cheese, topped with chopped onions.

I think you should make some up for MM.

http://toddleddredge.wordpress.com Veronica Mitchell

Here in Cincinnati, a four-way is a way to eat chili.

http://mamadb.blogspot.com/ Mama DB

And you are amazing, in that you can photograph changing a tire and produce beautiful art.

Jana

I got a flat tire the other day too. Felt just as helpless as I watched my husband rescue me. He was in a similar “down on one knee position” as Marlboro Man…the view from behind was nice. Too bad I didn’t have my camera handy. 🙂

u2can

Not only have I heard of one, I’ve actually used one (well, only as long as it took for one of the highschool boys to come along & give me a hand) in the highschool parking lot in my senior year. Way back in the olden days when the tire jack was about 3 ft long.

Is it wrong that as soon as you said “fourway”, I snickered like a 16 year old boy and that I immediately thought about things that have nothing to do with changing tires and lugnuts?

Just keepin’ it real. Apologize to your GaGa for me.

Robyn! Shame on you!
-PW

http://www.chocolatechic.wordpress.com chocolatechic

Not only have I heard of one, I have used it many times to change my own tire.

Did you get breakfast?

pakart

sounds like something kinky. I would have called that pictue the “pointy thing” and my sweetie would have been annoyed with me. Like when I call the criss-cross screwdriver a criss-cross screw driver. (I now know it’s a “phillips”, but I don’t always let on.”

http://piecesofscrap.wordpress.com Steph Carty

Yeppers, I know what a four way is. I had better, as the daughter of a mechanic, and the only girl in the family. Otherwise I might have to turn in my papers saying I belong in the family. LOL!!

http://queen.marginallybright.com Jhianna

I know the tool, but I’ve never heard it called a four-way before.

http://countrygirlcitylife08.blogspot.com/ Annie-Rae

you got some good pictures out of it though!!!

I’ve never heard of a four way but don’t let it out though, or I’ll get a lecture from every mechanic in my family

http://prairieair.blogspot.com Jenni in KS

I’m snickering too because I think I had the same thought as Robyn. No, I’d never heard the term, but I instantly knew it had to be one of two things and it probably wasn’t what Robyn said. And, by gum, I was right. I love being right:oD

Jenni! You, too?
-PW

http://tinymama.blogspot.com Brea from Texas

Robyn, rofl!!! Ree, that’s a good man you got yourself. John would have made me do the damned thing myself ‘so I could learn how’ or some other ridiculous thing like that. Yeah, like I’m ever out without him, so even if I got a flat, he’d be there! We’ve only got one car!!

Ok, I think I have some issues. Did you ever get that breakfast?

http://momunscripted.wordpress.com/2007/10/11/are-you-my-mother/ kim

I’ve seen one, but never thought to ask what it was. I would have called it that X thing and tried to make it into a God’s Eye. My tire changer would probably find ours in the kid’s fort actually.

Just Chris

I knew what he meant, but we always called it a star wrench too. But then, I am a middle child, raised by a mechanic, in the country, during the 60s & 70s.

http://www.glenyalla.typepad.com/ Willowtree

Yes I’ve heard of a four-way, but around here we just call them orgies.

And what does it say about me that I had absolutely no idea that I was walking straight into this?

It must be the pure country air I breathe.

-PW

Julie in Houston

I said no, but as soon as you mentioned that you had a flat tire AND were in need of a 4-way I remembered seeing a funny tool tire with 4 thingys on it. It’s hard being a girl sometimes. Thanks for the lucious pics of your hubby changing the tire.

http://fourangelsmomma.blogspot.com Debbie W.

Ree,

I would not have known what a “four-way” is either. Now, if you had said, “That wrenchy-thing”, I would have figured it out right away.

Oh yes, and for snacking emergencies, put some of those little snack packs of crackers in all of your glove-compartments. They have saved my family from a “low blood sugar” emergency quite a few times!

Good thing you had your camera with you! Do you ever leave the house without it?

Hugs,
Debbie

Paula in BC

Ya, I gotta say, I could picture EXACTLY what you needed when you said “4 way.” But then, we OWN ford trucks (we upgraded to the F450 from the F350 – NICE truck, btw — last year)and around here, it is expected you know HOW to change a flat. Even if you don’t think you’d ever be able to get the ruddy lug nuts off yourself without CONSIDERABLE leverage help. I am fond of, in this order: cowboys, compressors (hey, I’m a self sufficient gal!) and the auto club (there is a SMALL chance I’ll actually be on a road when I get a flat, right?).