On a 3-2 count in Game 5 of the World Series, Houston’s Jose Altuve pulled Kenta Maeda’s pitch long but foul. On FOX, John “Expand the Zone” Smoltz could have left it at that. Fat chance.

“See?” said Smoltz. “That one didn’t turn, that one spun. Altuve over-corrected it, pulled it without the turn in the zone.”

It’s flabbergasting. While viewers — viewers, as in those who tuned in to watch the games — are increasingly smothered in gab that withers their patience, TV keeps doubling the dare.

Game 7’s ceremonial first pitches were thrown by Sandy Koufax and Don Newcombe. If you know The Game, nothing at that point was more important to show us.

But it was only seen in the distant, blurry background, while Joe Buck and Smoltz, as if to try to draw an audience already watching, appeared in the foreground, talking more talk-talk, about what had happened and what might happen rather than what was happening on the field, right behind them!

Whether this was a case of rank neglect or hideous priorities, it was infuriating.

During Game 7, Justin Turner, one in a conga line of Dodgers only interested in hitting home runs, was addressed by Smoltz: “The Astros’ game plan was not to let this guy get hot.” Someone leaked him a copy of the plan!

In the ninth inning of Game 5 — tie game, two outs, runner on second — Smoltz let us in on this one: LA pitcher Kenley Jansen wants to get “that all-important third out.”

Apparently the Astros didn’t want one of the Dodgers’ best hitters to get hot.Getty Images

Smoltz mostly provided neither color nor analysis, but the kind of say-anything filler that has been driving viewers of all sports mad.

Buck, in his role as slick, suave ringmaster, nightly “expanded the zone” to antagonize the obvious. Game 5, bases loaded and one out, Cody Bellinger was at bat against Houston’s Dallas Keuchel, who, Buck reminded us, throws a lot of ground balls. OK, good. Leave it at that.

But he continued, “which leads to the most double plays behind him, which is exactly what Dallas Keuchel is hoping for while Cody Bellinger, who got in on the fun last night with a pair of late doubles — one in the seventh, one in the ninth — is hoping to put the Dodgers on top.” Who knew?

Next batter, Logan Forsythe, bases loaded, two out. Buck: “Forsythe is trying to turn this into runs for the Dodgers.” He, too?

And statements of fact defied the facts. As Charlie Morton pitched four innings of relief with a 5-1 lead, Buck and Smoltz again praised Astros manager A. J. Hinch for bucking the prevailing wisdom — “analytics” — to stay with an effective pitcher.

But Morton was the starter Hinch pulled in Game 4 with Houston up, 1-0, after allowing just three hits! Houston lost, 6-2. It was three games ago, fellas. You two called it!

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And despite a 5-0 lead after two, Hinch still used five pitchers. Having previously been illogically wedded to his unreliable by-the-new-book “closer,” Ken Giles, until during the Series when he finally recognized the unreliability of both Giles and The Book, Hinch was forced to rewrite his script.

Such “strategies,” despite the fact that one team always loses and MLB’s worst teams adhere to them as much as the best, are credited to modern analytics.

To that end, we were hoping Buck or Smoltz would wonder aloud whether Whitey Ford in the 1961 Series would have been pulled after six or seven for Hal Reniff; Bob Gibson, in the 1968 Series, yanked for Larry Jaster — and if not, why not?

And how about that guy who pitched two complete-game wins in the NLDS, one in 1996, the other in 1997, allowing one run in each? Would John Smoltz have pulled John Smoltz?

Ron Darling, on Boomer Esiason’s WFAN show Wednesday, summed up this season, well: “They pay the starters all the money, and the relievers have to get all the outs.”

When celebration ruins thing your celebrating

Poor Ju’an Williams. He was suckered by all the prompts. The state of the game and TV — and their advertisers — did a number on him.

Ju’an Williams has spent too much time watching guys like this do their thing.Shutterstock

And I bet — or hope — he was miserable but wiser during the bus ride back to the American International campus in Massachusetts. There’s no knowing if he now gets it. Or, if he does, he could point to Roger Goodell, who this season encouraged professionals to behave as immodest clowns, to further vandalize football.

AIC played at the University of New Haven on Saturday a Division II game. With 3:31 left, Williams caught a touchdown to give AIC the lead, 19-14.

Then Williams went as-seen-on-TV Odell Beckham Jr. Eyewitness Dan Rohan: “He went into a me-dance right in front of the official, then continued, faux-fainting at the end.”

He was hit with an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

AIC’s two-point try failed, then, with the 15-yard penalty applied, kicked off deep from its end. UNH began from its own 44. Soon, UNH scored to win, 20-19. And that’s how the winners and losers of games at all levels and before audiences huge or tiny, are now regularly determined.

Think Ju’an Williams came up with that skit-too-far TD routine with no help, no outside influences? Or do you think he had some strong, relentless and thoughtless help from, professionals and other adults? Perhaps he even felt obligated.

Better stay up late

Though often aided by the wrong reasons — senseless pitching changes, players’ failures to run to first and back up bases — this World Series has been reported and will be recorded as an exciting one. Fair enough.

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But its historical standing as a “DVR World Series” with more than half the nation’s population denied the live final innings due to the natural onset of sleep, is not likely to make the cut.

The end of Game 5 — a 10-inning, 13-12, “epic” — was even lost to those conditioned to caution, adding an extra hour or more to their DVR. Five hours weren’t enough, as it ran 5:17 — “Gone with the Wind” was only 3:58” — an 8:23 EDT start on a Sunday night, ending at 1:40 on Monday morning.

But the telecasts were loaded with image ads demonstrating MLB’s unconditional love of kids. Commissioner Rob Manfred this season declared kids to be MLB’s No. 1 priority.

Manfred is a man for these times. His feckless punishment of Yuli Gurriel for a racist gesture in the World Series — suspending him from games next season — was like sending a kid to his room without dessert … as soon as he finishes his dessert.