Saturday, 21 February 2009

What Women REALLY Mean...

If you’ve ever done a language course, like French for example, you can go to France and although you may recognise odd words or catch the occasional phrase, it’s wise to think about having a phrase book or an interpreter; the same can be said about the language of the female gender of our species, so here’s some phrases women use and their real meaning – some are from my experiences, some from others.

Wife, “I’ve been thinking…” = This is going to cost you a fortune. Husband, “Where are the new dishcloths?”Wife, “Just wait ‘till I’ve finished doing what I’m doing and I’ll get them for you.” = For God’s sake do I have to do everything in this house, it’s like looking after a five year old child?Husband, “I know you’re busy, just tell me where they are and I’ll get them.”Wife, “Just wait, I’ll be one minute.” = I don’t want you rummaging in all the cupboards and making a mess, in any case I’m not sure where they are but don’t want to admit it.Woman, “I don’t want to talk about it.” = Oh yes I do, go on I dare you – ask, I’m ready with all guns primed.

Woman, “I’m fine, really I am.” = No I’m not.

Woman, “Honest, there’s nothing wrong.” = Please ask me because it will give me an excuse to chop your balls off.Woman, “Thanks a lot.” = I am really cheesed off with you, but don’t ask if anything is wrong because I shall say “nothing,” and keep you guessing.

Woman, “We need to talk.” = I want to complain.

Woman, “You need to learn to communicate.” = Listen to what I tell you and just do it.

Wife, “What do you think?” = I’ve already made my mind up – just agree for goodness sake.

So as not to be considered sexist in any way shape or form, tomorrow, I shall be listing what men really mean.

"Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are.” Arnold H Glasgow.