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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

So, is the Cancer Gone?

YES!!!!! HANNAH BEAT CANCER! (I don't want to stop typing that!)

Hannah, at Friday's appointment.

That is the phone call I had yesterday with Hannah's doctor. Hannah had her June chemo on Friday the 1st. It was chemo in her spinal column. She also, had a BMA, which is a test to check her whole body for cancer.

I wasn't expecting the news until Wednesday. Her Dr. said when they saw the tests come back in yesterday afternoon, they knew they had to call. I was sitting in my office when I saw Children's Hospital come up on my phone.

My heart hit my stomach. This was it. Early results usually mean bad news. I was bracing myself and trying to say hello at the same time. Her Dr. started the conversation with, "The tests are back. I have good news!" I'm not that sure what all I said, I just know it wasn't the screaming and jumping I thought I would do. I was crying. I hung up and Barb, my co-worker walked by. I told her I got the results. I couldn't speak or stop crying. She thought it was bad news!

All I could think was "She did it! Two and half years of hard fighting and she won." I shared the news as much as I could but I just kept crying when I talked. I wanted out of there. I wanted to get to Hannah as fast as I could.

Telling Hannah was the most fun. As soon as I got to Anna's house, (Anna and family are our close friends who, are also, our daycare), and raced in to find Hannah.

I told her I had big news. We got the results from the test on Friday, the one that made her back hurt, the one that would show if the cancer was all gone. I said, "You did it baby, you beat cancer. It is all gone. No, more cancer in your body!"

Hannah jumped up, arms above her head and screamed! From behind us, in the other room, all of the other kids, Andrew, Aaron, Maddie, Taylor, Katie, Megan, and Gracie, who were all listening in, all screamed and jumped around! It was a cool echo of happy yells and shouts. Everyone was hugging and congratulating Hannah.

This is what it looked like when I told her!

I am SO proud of her and excited and overwhelmed and in shock. My head is still spinning. Hannah's last day of chemo will be August 2nd. After that we can book the surgery to have her port- a-cath removed from her chest wall. She will be a normal girl, who isn't nauseous all the time, doesn't have to take chemo, and can play soccer! Soccer has to wait till the port is out, but she wants signed up as soon as she can.

Thank you all so much for being a wonderful support to us through this. I love all of you and don't know how I would have managed without you. Thank you!!!

16 comments:

I can't stop tearing up every time I think I the results. I am so overjoyed. She gets to be a normal girl and you all get to have your lives back! I am so happy for Hannah! She is the strongest little girl I know.

I am so happy to hear this Carrie!!!! I have followed Hannah's progress every since you foun me on Facebook... I never wanted to call.. I felt like you had so much going on that I would be a bother.... I am so happy for you, Hannah , and your family! YAY!!!!!!!

WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....... Congratulations to Hannah. Hope the worst experience of all her life is over and that the sun shines and brings her even more luck and health for the rest of her life.... I am so so so happy for you and your family!

Contributors

How we got Cancer

I have two amazing, handsome, sweet, funny boys, Andrew, 13 and Aaron, 8 years old. After years of thinking I would never know what ballet lessons were like, I also had Hannah. She is four years old. My three kids are all I could ask for and more.

In January, Hannah had pneumonia. She never seemed like herself after that. She had random fevers, she was tired often, and her coloring was off. I kept taking her to the doctor thinking she had a virus or something but it never got all the way better. The people at her preschool were also noticing these symptoms. The director of her preschool, Deb, had even called me, thinking maybe she had mono. The doctors thought maybe it was a sinus infection and put her on medicine.

On April 7th, 2010 she had a tummy ache at school, when I came to get her, she seemed ok. As I was reading her bedtime story that night I noticed her stomach looked VERY distended. I thought, in all my thirteen years of parenting, I had not seen that before. I called her doctor and the nurse asked me how quickly I could be at Children's. Rian stayed with the boys and I left the house still not convinced I wasn't over reacting to some possible gas.

I should have known something was not right at the ER, because everyone was being really, really nice to Hannah and I. After they drew some blood the doctor came in and told Hannah that a nurse would stay with her so that Mommy could get her some juice. I walked out of the room really thinking I was being led to where the juice boxes were! They took me into another room where the doctor turned to me and said, "We are going to do a test, the results will be back in an hour, but we think your daughter has Leukemia. We believe she has cancer." I was busy dismissing her in my head as the over reacting one while she listed the symptoms Hannah displayed that made her suspect it. Her stomach was distended and not because of gas. Her liver and spleen were enlarged. Her frequent fevers and fatigue. My brain kicked in at this point, so I protested, suggesting that mono, could also be the cause of enlarged organs, fatigue, and fever. She agreed but firmly stated she thought it was Leukemia. I went back to our room, no juice, refusing to except any of that. Every time I thought, what if they come in and tell me it's cancer, I immediatly put it out of my head. I was sure it was going to be mono.

After the longest hour ever went by, Hannah had fallen asleep on my lap and the doctor came back in. She said she was afraid she had bad news. They rest of that night has blurred into the rush of trying to process the wall of information they give you and surpress the "I'm going to go crazy right here" emotion that was filling my head. I was determined not to be the mom that fell apart. I just wanted to learn so I could help.

My best friend, Mackenzie, at nine months pregnant, thank you very much, came to the hospital at 3 am with only the words, Hannah has Leukemia. Together, we walked Hannah into her new world called, the 3rd Floor Cancer Unit at Children's Hospital. Walking in past that sign and knowing that was where they were taking my sweet baby girl was one of the single worst moments of my life. I almost lost it, except, Abby, our fellow(thats an important Dr. title) was standing there waiting for us. I had stubbornly, already promised myself I wasn't going to be breaking down in front of the people that I am now depending on to save Hannah's life.

The next few days were full of horrific tests and information. When they came back with the spinal tap results that showed the type of Leukemia she had, I did finally lose it. She has Leukemia ALL, which is the one with the highest cure rate. So, it was good news. I don't know why, but to me it meant that she really did have cancer. I went into the hall, sat on the floor, and cried my eyes out. I just couldn't stop. I had been feeling like if we just left, if I picked up Hannah and ran, then none of this would be real.

What I found out, was that we are going to be ok, that there are funny, dear moments even when going through crappy chemo, and that we have a whole LOT of wonderful people in our lives. I thank God everyday for all of you and every precious moment I have on this earth with my family.