"Amanda Holden (Cheryl Cole) is lured to the opening of a new beauty salon (actually an abandoned warehouse). As Holden sits under a hair dryer, Lombard and Mariella stand around thinking of a suitably fitting demise for her. After twenty minutes they agree that she doesn’t really have any interesting or unique character traits, so they let her go."

"Because the camera is so close to the character(s) being followed, we feel that we're physically attached to those characters, as if by an invisible guide wire, being towed through their world, sometimes keeping pace, other times losing them as they weave through hallways, down staircases or through smoke or fog."

A lucid perspective on this weekend in UK politics from the Nigerian Guardian. We think we have problems: "In Nigeria, it does not matter how badly a leader performs. As long as he is in power, everyone kow-tows to him. People are re-elected to positions in Nigeria not because the people still want them but because they must complete an assigned ethnic quota. Nigerians are forever confronted by their leaders with election results which bear no reflection of reality. Nigerian leaders are rewarded with undeserved victories."

She certainly is. In case you're wondering how far my tin-hatted conspiracy theory about Caroline Flint has come, this looks to me like the kind of article someone writes if they want the top job. She only needs seventy names. According to the Labour website there are 96 female Labour MPs (including herself). I wish they'd just get on with it frankly.