E! Online reports that, despite all the problems, the Osbournes have signed a contract with MTV for a fourth season of their reality-TV series, The Osbournes. 20 new episodes of the show will be produced and aired in 2004. Said MTV's president, "If you thought we wouldn't resign the Osbournes, you're crazy."

Despite the show's plummiting ratings, The Osbournes is still MTV's second-highest rated series, behind only The Real World. From the Osbournes' viewpoint, the MTV money will halp them pay their legal bills (plus whatever damages they owe in the lawsuits).

To help save their show, the Osbournes are working all-out to attract publicity, whether good, bad or goofy. For example, in an MTV news special about Jack's rehab, onetime hard-core stoner Ozzy calls for the banning of coffee, because coffee leads to drug abuse! Said Ozzy, "They should ban the lot. One thing leads to another. Coffee leads to Red Bull, Red Bull leads to crank."

That Ozzy, such a deep thinker. We can't express how grateful we are to MTV for allowing us to follow his musing, Sharon's ranting and lying, Kelly's screeching and Jack's pill-popping for another year.