We need a giant vacuum cleaner that can suck hurricane Irma: Donald Trump

As parts of US grapple with hurricane Irma, President Donald Trump is doing all he can to save Americans from what he calls ‘a great monster’. Sources say that Trump is holding closed door meetings with his trusted advisers and is planning to construct a giant vacuum cleaner to ‘suck hurricane Irma’.

Speaking to Faking News a White House insider said, “President Trump is livid with Irma for ruining his weekend golfing trip. In the last 24 hrs he has done nothing but take stock of the situation, which has severely affected his routine. But all that is about to change after the giant vacuum cleaner is put into action.”

A team of technicians along with NASA scientists is working round the clock to get the cleaner up and running. “Mr. President himself will be holding the hose of the cleaner and will navigate his way to the eye of the hurricane and then suck it in to put an end to the monster. We have done a few simulations and this is going to work for sure,” said one technician.

Besides the ‘vacuum cleaner’, Trump is doing his best to allay the apprehensions of American citizens surrounding the hurricane. While addressing citizens from White House he said, “These hurricanes don’t scare me and they shouldn’t you too. I have seen bigger hurricanes than this. I have seen the biggest hurricane ever called Melania. When she gets angry it’s more destruction than humanity can handle.”

Though the President sounded reassuring and confident while making the aforementioned statement, citizens across states are taking no chances.