As if Lindsay Lohan smacking a woman at a nightclub after a Justin Bieber concert over some dude from a band called The Wanted didn't already sound like a demented Canterbury Tale written in glitter pen ("Lindsay got drunker and drunker… and it turned Max [George] off"), there is now a whole new dimension of absurdity. The woman LiLo punched, one Tiffany Mitchell, is a "well-known psychic" who offered to give her a reading. Mitchell now adds that she "had a premonition about Lohan" (that she'd get drunk? Get arrested? If so, then oh my God, we are all psychic) before the altercation took place. LiLo turned down the offer and told Mitchell to "give her space," at which point it seems that the dude from The Wanted started talking to Mitchell. That was the first strike.

Lohan ended up accusing Mitchell and her husband of stealing her sister Ali's purse, which contained $10,000 in cash that Lindsay had just given her (?!) because they are "fucking gypsies," and that is a thing that "fucking gypsies." do. In response, Mitchell called LiLo a "whore" and said Liz & Dick sucked, and Lindsay hit her, and we know the rest. Later, Mitchell's husband clarified to TMZ: "We are not gypsies." So there. [A.V. Club, TMZ, Page Six]

At the police station, "She was crying and kept asking, ‘Why does this happen to me? This is a setup! I don't deserve this... It's not my fault!'" [Page Six]

Mike Tyson dubiously weighs in on LiLo in conversation with Piers Morgan: "She's not as bad as I was, but she's catching up." [CNN]

Get ready: Danielle Fishel as Lindsay LohanasLiz Taylor on The Soup. Bam. [People]

Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman are expecting their second kid (Harvey's fifth). [Hollywood.com]

Tina Fey's little daughter Alice played a young Liz Lemon to the tee on 30 Rock. [People]

"One thing people often want me to talk about is my public love life. When it comes to my love life, the perception seems as though I am a player. But that's not true. Love is something I am still learning. It's just an obstacle that I haven't yet mastered. I think that's my biggest hurdle in life." —Chris Brown. [Bossip]