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Friday, January 10, 2014

"To Be Or Not To Be..."

I have a cousin who is only six months
younger than I.For the period of time
that she and her family lived near us, we were more like sisters than
cousins.Our family said we argued like
siblings before we could really even talk!When we only knew a few words, we quickly learned how to use that
limited vocabulary to interact and keep the “conversation” going.When I would say “yes,” she would immediately
say “no.”If I said “no,” she would
respond with an emphatic “yes!”We are
both very strong willed individuals, so I am certain these debates probably
lasted for quite some time.

This morning as I took some time to
reflect over my goals and actions of the previous year and outline my plans for
the year, this memory of my cousin and I popped into my head.No matter what it is that we set out to
accomplish, achieve, or experience in life, there are always voices inside our
head arguing the pros and cons of it all.That is not necessarily a bad thing, as we do need to weigh our options,
our actions, our motives etc. very carefully before we step forward.However, if we continue the debate too long,
we find ourselves stuck – stuck in limbo, stuck in mediocrity, stuck in fear,
stuck in regret, STUCK!Have you ever
been there?I have!Sometimes we can argue so long, and wait too
long until the moment or the opportunity has passed, to where the momentum
leaves never to return, and to where support from others is withdrawn and we
are left alone to pick up the pieces and regroup from it all.

If you are looking in the mirror of
your life and having that argument with yourself “to be or not to be…” take a
moment not to just talk, but to listen.Sometimes when we debate something in our life too loudly we miss the lesson,
we miss instruction and we miss what the universe is plainly showing us.You’ve heard it said “don’t miss the forest
for looking at the trees.”Last year, I
jumped headfirst in a writing project for my first book.I had been dabbling at it for a few years,
but never really committed to its completion.Once I jumped in, the momentum would ebb and flow.“Life” stepped in a few times to deter my
forward momentum.Some of those things
were beyond my control – such as a neck/spine surgery that had me out of
commission for over three months.But
rather than allowing the argument “to be or not to be” consume me, I took some
time to listen, to figure out what needed to be done to move forward
again.As I did, the writing project that
I thought was complete began to grow and morph.I began to understand more and more that everything happens in its time
if you allow the process to continue and not debate it continually.There were a few moments I wanted to “shut
the cover” of the book and just forget it.Then when I finally did complete it, I submitted it for my proof
review.When it came back there were
several necessary rewrites!More
delays!!!!!This time however, I didn’t
stare myself down in the mirror to argue or debate.I simply put “pen in hand” (well computer
keyboard - but you get the point) and began to let the most recent life lessons
weave themselves into the existing tapestry of the book.I was amazed!

Just a few days ago, I finished my editing
again and began to do my last “read through.”On the very night that I had planned on uploading the files, I had an impromptu
dinner with my son.As I did, a
conversation that has been “waiting in the wings” for several years, began to
unfold.We talked about parts of my life
that my son had never asked about before.We talked about his life and delays and experiences he had gone through
and is still walking through.He became
ready to hear about things from the past that he had never had an interest in
knowing before.Suddenly, the light came
on for both of us!I realized that every
single thing I had experienced over the years had deeper meaning - as they were
meant to be a lesson for my son to give him understanding into his own life
direction.At that moment, we both had
an epiphany of sorts.I knew without a
doubt the purpose in the delays to the completion of the book writing project
and finally felt a release to cross the last “t” and dot the final “i” in the
book.Had I debated with myself too long
and either rushed the book’s completion, or shelved it altogether, this
life-changing moment would not have happened.So what is the lesson in it all?Talk less, listen more, trust the whisper of your heart, trust the
process and believe that everything happens in its time just as it is meant to
be.Don’t miss it!Don’t worry about whether something is “to be
or not to be…”Everything that is meant
to be, finds its way into our lives if we slow down long enough to pay
attention….