Tuesday, 6 April 2010

Mistaken accents make for a sexy equation. Fact.

The easter bunny has come and gone and left me in a state of slobbery. Not just has the top button on my jeans had to be adjusted, but the button below the top one too. Oh the shame. There truly is egg on my face. If you substitute egg with chocolate that is.

Which brings me onto the phrase 'egg on ones face'. Isn't it a weird phrase? I have it on a very reliable source* that it originates in America.

Which, again, brings me swiftly onto my reason for this post (my english teacher used to tell me I needed continuity in my writing, suck on this Mrs. Quinn**).

The reason = my accent.

My accent = American. Apparently.

And this would be all fine and dandy if my nationality equaled American. And I could tell you it does. But that would be a lie.

Nationality = Irish.

This equation happened last night (some people get drunk on nights out, I make equations. Oh baby.)

Fig. 1 Sexy Equation

(Its sexy because I'm in it. And its my equation so I can say that bitches!)

Let me take you through the logic of this sexy equation.

I am Irish (But I attend university in the UK).

Randomers, the best kind of people(who are fairly intoxicated so are therefore feeling confident to say whatever they are thinking).

On a night out, celebrating my birthday.

These events all lead to me being accused of having an American accent(reason for this unknown therefore I shall call it X).

And then there's me(and I am not happy).

Can you solve X?

Thats not a trick questions. I need help.

I don't have anything against American accents. I just want to have an Irish accent. Because it makes sense.

I'm starting to forget the time when I used to take my accent for granted. It never occurred to me that it could be anything but Irish.

I think all this 'nice to meet you, what part of the States are you from?' stuff began happening when I moved to university.

I moved to Scotland. And anyone who's ever been to Scotland will understand that Scottish natives have a, um, particular way of conversing. There accent and slang has yet to rub off of me. But it was when I moved here and started to meet new people it all began.

The reason this has upset me more than it usually would is that on this night out my friends and I got talking to four different groups of people. Just having some banter. And all four off these groups thought I was American. This fake accent of mine must be getting more pronounced.

Plus it was my birthday and I live by the motto: Its my birthday and I'll cry if I want to.

Now I'm going to try and solve this sexy, but mysterious, equation.

I have spent 18 years of my life in Ireland. I lived in the country as opposed to the city, so if anything my Irish accent should be stronger because of this.

I have never been to America.

When I was younger I rarely watched American television as my household only had what could be referred to as the 'poverty channels'. These were three channels, one of which wasn't even in English, it was an Irish speaking channel. Although the odd American show was broadcast it was mainly home produced programs shown. I just thought I'd clarify that as one of the randomers suggested I had grown up watching too much Nickeldeon. Not true.

I can count the amount of contact I've had with American people in my life. I have American cousins, but I rarely see them. I think I've seen them around five times in my whole life. And then this American girl I met when I was busy looking after brats and being underpaid, also know as au pairing. Although we had an instant connection, as she was the only person I was around that could speak English, I only spoke to her twice. And thats it.

I did take speech and drama lessons when I was younger. But I'm pretty sure an American accent wasn't on the curriculum.

So I'm confused. Where is this coming from? I very much doubt that an American would think I had an American accent.

Oh and then this one time I was on the phone and this lady thought I was Australian. So I have an Australian phone voice?

My parents have either been lying to me about my childhood or I do indeed have a Irish accent. A somewhat confused Irish accent, but its there. Deep deep down.

**Mrs. Quinn- if only you knew it was Sarah Walker that spat in your water and not me. We could have had a beautiful relationship. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep over the thought of what could have been.

No, you know what Taren, maybe I like having an 'identity crisis', so yea. You can't take it way from me. Its my crisis. MINE.The nerve of some people...

Oh Brent thats a GREAT idea! You would do that? How nice of you.Some people are just so helpful!

But seriously guys- what a wonderful idea, but right now I'm feeling very self conscious about my accent so maybe my wounds need to heal before I expose myself oh so publicly. Public to you two. Dramatic stuff.

And you know what, throwing a pie in ones face doesn't sound cruel or mean at all. It sounds delicious. Feel free to throw a pie in my face any day!

ok so i skimmed this post before i went out tongiht. and then when i was out i heard some girl talking and it sounded scottish so i was like omg cool accent. hen listend more and thought oh, just american. then asked her. She is scottish. and said that people all the time say she sounds american! so maybe its a trend or somethign. i dont know. but i immediately thought i have to report back..

gosh i have used amazing spelling and grammar in this post. sorry.... im half asleep... i cant fix it... i just cant!

oh shit, you are irish. so all of that is irrelevant. but really. its almost the same. oh i bet thats one of those things i shouldnt say... like the canadians dont like being called the same as americans. .. well you know what i mean. sigh.