June 13, 2011

I don't usually notice a guy's posture unless something is terribly wrong with it. Most guys are in the clear. However, there have been a few times when a guy's posture is so crummy that I have to wonder about his life choices. He has the appearance of a man who's never eaten a healthy breakfast, high-fived a teammate, or spiked a volleyball. Grow some posture balls!

His back is a quitter. It's like his back freaked out, told him to "take this job and shove it!" cleared its desk, shoved all of its shit into a cardboard box, and flipped the bird as it drove away in its dusty maroon '98 Camry blasting Motley Crue. What the fuck? This is unacceptable. Hire a new back! This back is a slacker.

And, his shitty posture makes me stand up straighter, like I'm trying to give his body a non-verbal pep talk. He doesn't have to walk like he has a 2 x 4 jammed in the back of his jeans but right now, with his back that slouchy and his shoulders that hunched over, he makes a deflated tire look like a freakin' Buzz Lightyear action figure. It's not hot. Please stand straighter. That'd be great.