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Friends who flirt with your crush. Thoughts?

2010-10-17, 10:49 AM

So I have an engaged friend who insists on constantly flirting with the guy that I like. She knows that I like him and am trying to take things slowly, but she flirts with him every chance she gets. He's not even receptive to her flirting and doesn't flirt back when she does, so it's not like she's getting positive reinforcement from him. From what I've been told, she thinks that I should "shit or get off the pot" with him, but I've only known the guy two weeks and I don't want to rush into anything. Would you guys call her out on her flirting or just ignore it?

So I have an engaged friend who insists on constantly flirting with the guy that I like. She knows that I like him and am trying to take things slowly, but she flirts with him every chance she gets. He's not even receptive to her flirting and doesn't flirt back when she does, so it's not like she's getting positive reinforcement from him. From what I've been told, she thinks that I should "shit or get off the pot" with him, but I've only known the guy two weeks and I don't want to rush into anything. Would you guys call her out on her flirting or just ignore it?

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1. Does she flirt with everyone, or is she just singling this guy out?
2. If the guy doesn't flirt back and isn't receptive, then it shouldn't be an issue.

Oh she singles him out.

I'm not necessarily worried about him liking her because it's pretty obvious that he doesn't. I'm just bothered by the fact that she thinks it's okay to obviously hit on someone I like to the point that other friends have called her out on it.

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I'm not necessarily worried about him liking her because it's pretty obvious that he doesn't. I'm just bothered by the fact that she thinks it's okay to obviously hit on someone I like to the point that other friends have called her out on it.

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If everything you said in this thread is true and not an exaggeration based on how you feel about the situation, she 1) is completely disrespectful for her fiance, and 2) is not supportive of you. You sound really young to me. Is that how you think friends treat one another or is this the kind of person you want in your social circle?

Aside from that, though, you could also be making a mountain out of a molehill with the whole thing. Any great guy is going to get hit on. What is important is not who hits on him, but how he reacts to it. So if she truly isn't a threat, you could always just shrug it off and ignore it.

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If everything you said in this thread is true and not an exaggeration based on how you feel about the situation, she 1) is completely disrespectful for her fiance, and 2) is not supportive of you. You sound really young to me. Is that how you think friends treat one another or is this the kind of person you want in your social circle?

Aside from that, though, you could also be making a mountain out of a molehill with the whole thing. Any great guy is going to get hit on. What is important is not who hits on him, but how he reacts to it. So if she truly isn't a threat, you could always just shrug it off and ignore it.

God no I don't think that's how friends should act. Between this and some other questionable things I've been thinking of distancing myself from her a bit. I know a good (or at least good looking) guy is going to get hit on a lot, but like you said... she's not being supportive of my efforts and that's what bothers me. I don't want to start some god-awful drama over it, but I'm just trying to decide whether I should ignore it since he's unreceptive or briefly, calmly address the issue with her.

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So I have an engaged friend who insists on constantly flirting with the guy that I like. She knows that I like him and am trying to take things slowly, but she flirts with him every chance she gets. He's not even receptive to her flirting and doesn't flirt back when she does, so it's not like she's getting positive reinforcement from him. From what I've been told, she thinks that I should "shit or get off the pot" with him, but I've only known the guy two weeks and I don't want to rush into anything. Would you guys call her out on her flirting or just ignore it?

Yeah, you gotta be careful with this. There are some people who actually get more interested in someone when they know that someone else is interested in them, it's weird. I've seen your situation happen a lot when I was younger. I have been in that situation myself, I just put everything into perspective and ignored what the other girl was doing because I figured why should I feel insecure about this? So, I just got confident while realizing that I needed to start doing my part to let him know that I am interested. Sometimes, women will try to dip in and even have sex with the guy you like (that didn't happen to me, but I know it does).

Basically, you do have to make sure you do your part in letting this guy know that you like him, but don't ever let this girl's actions get you jealous or insecure. She doesn't sound like a good friend and there is a type of girl that does this type of stuff, they got isues.