One of the themes that I like in story books is secret. A story about secrets. Gothic fictions are the best.

All story books contain secrets, anyway. Because you only get the whole story when you reach the final word. It is a secret until you finish it.

But the kind of secret theme that I like is the ones which when we finish a chapter, our perspective changed totally from before the chapter or the stories are told from so many perspectives we need to pick up the clues by finding the intersections, point of similarities.

But unlike books which cannot be read and reread over and over again, life cannot be relive. We have one chance and that’s it. Secrets revealed, secrets kept. Whether we revealed a secret or we decided to keep one, that point in time cannot be revisited.

Everyone who keep secrets must have the moments when they can’t help thinking, “If I revealed it that time, would things be different now?” Everyone who revealed secrets in the past must be thinking, “If I kept it until now, would things turn out better?” Vice versa.

Like, a daughter and a father who are distanced because of something in the past. As the years passed and some truths unraveled, things cannot be undone. Even if they admits they love each other, they had unintentionally build a concrete wall between them. Even if they managed to break it finally, the debris would still be around.

Or like, a girl who confessed to her friend. He kept quiet so their friendship lasts. But things had surely been different. She wonders if things would have been better if she didn’t confess. He wonders if things would be the same if he talked openly about it.

Secrets are burdensome. You couldn’t check with other people whether they knew your secret because it is a secret, thus you don’t simply ask around. And when finally you knew that other person had actually known the secret, even though you felt relieved of the burden, you still feel guilty of talking about that secret with that person because you are suppose to keep it quiet, not talk about it.

It’s good to have secrets in certain areas, though. Secrets bond people. Keeping secrets of someone dear is the pinnacle of trust. A friend who keeps secrets has passed the friendship test. To most people, the people in this close circle are usually no more than the total of your fingers – the people you trust the most.

I couldn’t help remembering the lyrics of Hit The Lights (sang by Selena Gomez) when typing this.

It’s the girl you never told I like you
It’s the boy you let get away
It’s the one you saw that day on the train
But you freaked out and walked away

…

It’s all the money that you’re saving
As the good life passes by
It’s all the dreams that never came true
Cause you’re too damn scared to try

Book’s ending are sure. You can feel the satisfaction when you reach the last word. Life has past, present and future. The past, like book, you can reread but you cannot change. The present is the point where you decide. The future is so unsure and dependent on your decision in the present.

Decide to not regret the past. The present would be cleared from clutters. This way, you can decide a future full of rainbows.