My life with autism: Reality panelist looks back at her experiences with the disorder

By Emma GarryThe Pennington School

Thursday

Apr 5, 2018 at 2:00 PM

A senior at The Pennington School marks National Autism Awareness Month by reflecting on what it was like growing up on the spectrum.

I have a sister in the same grade as me, but we’re not twins. I repeated kindergarten so we just ended up in the same grade, but when I tell people this, they normally respond with a comment about how stupid you have to be to repeat kindergarten or some joke like that.

I follow up with, “Well, I was on the autism spectrum so they thought it would be best to hold me back.”

Silence. People either change the subject, ask “so are you still … like …” or, on the rare occasion, inquire more.

I understand that me abruptly saying I was on the autism spectrum can be a little surprising; you don't normally think of a tri-varsity athlete who takes honors and AP courses as someone with autism. But it's not something I should hide, or that should be kept quiet.

So today, to mark National Autism Awareness Month, I am going to tell you about my life with autism.

At the age of 18 months, I wasn’t talking. I had started to talk but then I stopped, seemingly out of nowhere. My parents were concerned and so I went to my pediatrician and was kept under watch.

I was soon diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, which in my case (and being on the autism spectrum is different for everyone) meant that I wasn’t communicating with anyone, I was experiencing daily meltdowns, and I had lot of repetitive behaviors that were very precise (like lining up all the books on the bookshelf on the floor in the same order every day).

To help me get better, I had weekly sessions with an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, a speech instructor and a behavioral consultant. These sessions were done in my tiny living room in Philly, where I would work for hours week after week.

The activities in these sessions would range widely, from teaching me how to say the word “pop” while popping bubbles to my therapists watching how quickly I’d complete puzzles (I apparently used to finish puzzles in lightning speed; now I have to admit I’m very mediocre).

My family helped me a lot, but they couldn’t give me everything. There are some things I had to learn on my own and am still learning.

I still have problems in some social situations and feelings can be confusing to me; one moment I want to be hugged and surrounded by people and other times I don't want anyone to be remotely close to me. I’m not great at coming up with jokes or saying something that will lighten a room, but that doesn’t mean I don’t try. I work to conform to what other people expect of me, while not losing my own personality.

I’m not on the spectrum anymore — my diagnosis was taken away when I was 5 — and I now help teach kids with autism soccer on the weekends in the fall and spring at a Yardley Makefield Soccer program called Special Stars, which I raise money for by hosting a three-on-three basketball tournament at my school. The kids there are great, and I have had the amazing opportunity to watch them grow for the past seven years.

They act like all other little kids; some of them don't like to be touched, some of them like to hold hands, some of them don't speak, and some of them make you laugh so hard that tears stream down your face.

They are just kids, like I used to be, and I wouldn’t trade working with them for all the treasure in the sea.

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