Your best option is just to ignore it and don't worry about it. Why is it emasculating that a complete stranger essentially challenges you to something, in this case staring, and you choose to decline... Some perfect stranger has the better of you in an utterly meaningless contest?

Chances are, he'll completely forget about it in a few minutes.

The question I am a new homeowner with a problem neighbour.

I share some common space with several other neighbours. She doesn't have a job and is home most of the time. She is quite nosy, and keeps an eye on everyone who comes and goes.

Not because I don't like my current neighbours: I do. I think that is the root of your problem right there. People get crazy about a piece of sod they've paid for.

Either you need calmly to negotiate some terms with your neighbour vis-à-vis this "common area," or - better, I think - stay out of it altogether. Before he died, my old neighbour to the north used to freak out if a single leaf from my yard fell into his. And you should defend yours a bit more, too, sounds like.

Also, on at least one occasion, that strategy led to an attempted physical escalation.

At the end of that one, all that remained to be said was, "You're done." It's a male dominance ritual that progresses in predictable stages, which you rightly say can end up in violence unless one of the parties backs down, a game of one-upmanship.

As others have pointed out, if I don't even play the game, I don't have to feel like I lost. I try not to get caught up in what I think others may be thinking about me.Do you have any words of wisdom about situations such as this? The only winning move is not to play and short-circuit it when you recognise the pattern, don't give an opportunity for the opponent to escalate and don't give into the temptation to escalate it yourself.If you can, pretend like you didn't see the stare and just become intensely involved in something else, like talking to another person, looking through your wallet. I usually cross my eyes (a useful trait) or fart loudly. and even most chimps are smart enough not try to dominance crap for no good reason. Simply acting disinterested - a look of complete boredom - has worked for me in the past when I realise I'm getting pulled into the 'monkey dance'.) Try thinking that if someone stares at you: - they are a zombie - they have few brains, so need to concentrate just to look at people - you have better things to do - you'd rather look at somebody else See, this is why I like being a woman: I never have to prove what kind of man I am. The recipient, especially if girls are watching, will have an incredible urge to respond in kind.It is, in fact, fear of being humiliated by not responding that is driving the dynamic. It is genetically programmed and unless you possess wisdom and exert will, the game plays you.

Worst case, he goes to the bar later and talks about how he totally owned this random guy in the line at Chipotle and he totally looked away. Seriously, ask yourself, what exactly are you losing here? The problem is with the wrong person this can lead to a fight on your hands.

One thought on “dealing with intimidating neighbours”

Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse: Listen as much or more than you talk.