Philadelphia MFT

Almost everyone has been in a spot where they get down on themselves. Whether it's the thought of missed opportunities or the pressure to do more, people drive themselves insane with their self-deprecating obsession. People become their biggest critic and also their biggest obstacle. If you can identify, here are three tips to help you begin to get out of your own way:

Stop Comparing. The rise of social media has made staying connected easier than it ever has been. It has also helped everyone unleash their inner critic. People sometimes look at other’s lives and judge if they don’t feel as happy, wealthy, or adventurous as someone else presents. You forget that you are normally only seeing a glimpse of other’s reality or even a fabrication. A pattern of comparing and being self deprecating develops and this pattern transcends the internet. You have to recognize that everyone has a different path and a different struggle. Once you accept that you’re on a unique journey, it becomes easier to understand why comparing yourself to others is unfair and ultimately damaging. Keep in mind that your journey is not complete and that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be within it.

Stay in the Present. It is easy to dwell on mistakes made in the past or future desire. People spend a lot of time thinking about these things but often neglect what’s presently going on around them. In order to ensure a great future absent of the mistakes you’ve made in the past, you have to put the proper energy into your present endeavors. Remember your past so that you can use the lessons learned but do not obsess over it. Create a blueprint of the future you’d like for yourself but do not neglect the work that needs to be done now. Focus on the things you can control instead of dwelling on the things that are out of your hands. Remember that the present offers great experiences. Stay in the moment.

Learn to Handle Negativity. It is impossible to avoid negative experiences. Unpleasant occurrences are a part of life.People spend the majority of their time trying to run from negativity instead of focusing on how to deal with it when it comes their way. If you don’t learn how to handle negativity, you are going to get lost in it. You were probably taught to avoid negative situations and this isn’t bad advice, just incomplete. Yes, you do not want to seek out unfavorable experiences but when they come your way you want to be able to push through them, not succumb.

If you are having trouble getting out of your own way, please don’t hesitate to contact one of the therapists here at Philadelphia MFT. We are also offering online scheduling now so you can easily book an appointment in your home, at your office, or on the go!

It was reported by CNN in 2013 that an average of $18.6 billion will be spent by Americans for Valentine's Day. The day is used by many to show their love, affection and appreciation for those in their lives. However sometimes things just don't go as planned and many are disappointed by the holiday. To get the most out of your Valentine's day, Philadelphia MFT has 3 tips to make sure your plans for this special day goes without a hitch!

Have reasonable expectations for Valentine's DayFrequently Valentine's Day plans turn out to be lackluster due to too high or not mutually shared expectations of the importance/purpose of the day. Some people view the holiday as extremely valuable while others do not. To alleviate this issue you may want to reevaluate what the holiday means to you as well as your purpose for wanting to plans. If you're going on a date or spending some time with a long term partner; take the time to ask whether or not doing something special for Valentine's Day is even an option for this year or if they see the day as something valuable to your relationship.

Create a shared experienceIf you and whoever you're spending Valentine's day with decide to make plans, create a shared experience. Focusing on an activities that both of you will enjoy will create feelings of joy and connection while also developing a memory that you both can be fond of. Take it to the next level by participating in an activity that neither of you have done before. Couples who try new things together tend to have happier relationships.

Detach from the outside worldGiving your valentine (not your phone) your full and undivided attention is extremely important to having a great valentine's day. Focusing on the evening will allow you both to get the most out of whatever it is you're doing and it keeps you away from anything that can distract you. It's also beneficial to not see posts/tweets about other people's date nights: no need to compare what you're doing to what someone else is doing. Comparison is the thief of joy, so be confident and appreciate what you've done for your someone special.

Valentine's day shouldn't be filled with heartaches and headaches. Follow these tips and make the most out of this special day.