Besides pilgrims making the haj to parched Florida and Discovery Channel’s Henry Schleiff and HBO’s Richard Plepler hitting Cabo in Mexico — because Santa in flip-flops is always a thrill — not everyone’s going anywhere.

Bloomberg — ask not which Bloomberg — “Where else? Here. I always love it here. What other city’s this exciting at holiday time.”

Hillary — ask not Hillary who? — “We’re staying right here. My daughter, her husband, the children, our whole family is celebrating all together. Staying home, and I’m cooking for the kids.”

I recall the Clinton White House’s 18 trees one Dec. 25. Wreaths, poinsettias in the family quarters. Edible gingerbread house — with towers, bridges, miniatures of their pets Socks and Buddy — in the State Dining Room. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. totally tarted up in winter-wonderland white, silver and gold.

What Hollywood types will do, who knows? Probably visit a shrink. Or to quote Howie Mandel: “We’re just hoping to take down the Halloween things — the cobwebs on the fencing and the jack-o’-lantern on the door.”

Some suggestions…

Anyone not knowing what to do, see Manhattan Theatre Club’s award winner from Britain, “The Children,” at the Samuel J. Friedman Theatre . . . OR possibly emulate Willem Dafoe, who might celebrate near some sink because: “I enjoy washing dishes. It’s the simplicity of the chore. At a party, I often sneak to the kitchen to wash dishes for sometimes two hours.”

Or go to Hugh Jackman’s splashy big-time P.T. Barnum musical movie “The Greatest Showman” with Zendaya, Zac Efron, Michelle Williams. Back aways, Jackman himself almost didn’t make it. At its backers showcase, he announced: “I just had a skin cancer cut out of my nose, 80 stitches. My doctor said ‘You are not allowed to sing.’ ” The doc’s orders he beat. The investors’ power he couldn’t.

He sang the song “From Now On,” surgery, bandages, stitches and all. They greenlit the movie, and you can see it in theaters now.

Ghosts of Xmas past

Christmas Day in year 800, Charlemagne got crowned Holy Roman Emperor. In 1066, William the Conqueror conquered and became king of England. In 1642, Isaac Newton’s born. In 1776, George Washington did the Delaware thing. Dec. 25, 1887, peasant Maxim Gorky, denied acceptance to Kazan Imperial University, looked to knock himself off. In 1923, H.G. Wells — age then 57 — spent all day playing with his toy soldiers. In 1968, Apollo 8 orbited the moon.

Born this day

Back aways, March must’ve been an itchy magic month because come Dec. 25, it brought forth such babies as Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Buffett, Annie Lennox, Sissy Spacek and Canada’s PM Justin Trudeau. Born on Christmas Eve were soon-to-become-immortal Attorney General Jeff Sessions, Ava Gardner and Ryan Seacrest, who began emceeing while in utero.

Pay attention

This year’s gift to you comes from “The Language of Names” by Justin Kaplan and Anne Bernays. They wrote that Charles Dickens’ early drafts of “A Christmas Carol” had assorted names for our favorite Tiny Tim character. Charlie called him alternately Little Larry, Small Sam and Puny Pete.

Happiest, holiest and healthiest holiday to all from me, my favorite newspaper and my favorite city . . . see you again Jan. 2, 2018.