04 April 2008

Image: The Cradle-Robbing Martini Marauders 1999

Whenever my girlfriends and I get together for a Girls' Night Out, we always talk about the latest versions of our freebie lists.The revelations usually take place just after dinner. We're relaxed, enjoying dessert, a little buzzed, and primed for some laughter and the inevitable swooning. It's one of my favourite times of the evening.

If you've watched Friends, you'll know what the "freebie list" is. For those who don't know, the freebie list is the list of famous people you can bed with the permission of your significant other, if you are able to lure them to your lair in the first place.

I'm sure, for a group of smokin'-hot babes, my girls and I would all have a decent chance with the dudes on our lists - if only we'd move to Hollywood, choose the guys that were still alive, and not have to invent a time machine to hook up with the hotties in question. Yes, I'm looking at you, sly and myrtle! "Sean Connery but only in Darby O'Gill and the Little People", indeed! Pfft!

Ross' laminated list had only 5, but we increased our lists to 10. For this post, I'll only reveal my top 5.

So, how about you? Have you made your own list? Who's on it?

Okay, without further ado, here's my Top 5...

Gerard ButlerMy #1, this dude's appeal is that he's not a pretty-boy. Smart and funny, Ger would make a one-night-stand entertaining in more ways than one.It's rather disturbing that, in some pictures, he looks eerily like Roomie. I mean, fantasizing about a guy that looks just like your spouse shows such a lack of imagination. But it also means I'm married to my fantasy guy. :)

Eric BanaHe was hot in Troy... well, who wasn't hot in Troy?! But he was truly the apex of hottitude in that movie, outshining even Brad Pitt, to me at least. Harmzie might disagree. :)

Olivier MartinezRestaurant bathroom scene, Unfaithful... just watch it and you'll understand. :) Kylie's a lucky girl. He's also known as the Brad Pitt of France... do you see it? I do... a little.

Richard Dean AndersonHe never did anything for me as McGyver, but as Jack O'Neill in Stargate SG-1, wow. He rocks that black t-shirt when he runs. :) Once again, the humour is a big factor.

You are a nasty girl! You've been bugging me about this for years, so here goes. This list is only good for today, tomorrow, it might be different.

Gabriel Byrne & Bryan Ferry. I count them as one, because I suspect they might be the same person. Have YOU ever seen them in the same place at the same time??? I didn't think so. A similar example is Kevin Costner & Dennis Quaid (neither on this "list" btw)

Han Solo >OOPS< of course I mean Harrison Ford. Have you ever seen him playing a NOT so nice guy! He's even better...

Kevin Spacey - he, on the other hand is NOT hotter when he's nasty. He is scary. Fortunately, he's not usually nasty.

That's five. I like big nerds and I can not lie. My nerd-sisters can't deny...

But of course I'm well (painfully?) aware that there is no *real* freebie list if it ever came down to it. Since that's the case, here's a couple of more:

Brad Pitt - a staple. He's best when he's insane... but mostly naked & buff is just fine too (Troy)

I have a nerd-sister friend (gave me my name) who shyly & embarrassedly (word?) admitted she had a thing for Sam Waterston (Law & Order). She said people usually gave her nasty looks when she admitted that but I am TOTALLY with her! (Given the nature of this "list", I should probably clarify: not "with her" so much, but more "in agreement")

Oh goodness... only 5. I'm off to narrow down my list. Be back soon, reporting with my list. Like Harmzie, I usually like the geeky guys too. And I KNOW Brad Pitt won't make my list. Dunno what it is, but I guess he's just not my type.

1. Capt. Jack Harkness, oh I mean John Barrowman. The man is a triple threat. He can sing, act, plays in a sci-fi show (Torchwood), and dresses great. Nevermind the fact that he's gay. I'm in love. Plain and simple.

1. (It's a tie, what can I say...) Peter Berg. Mainly a director (Friday Night Lights, Wonderland, The Kingdom, Very Bad Things), but he was in Alias, and had small appearances in Collateral, Smokin' Aces, and Corky Romano, I feel in lust with him as a teen in Aspen Extreme. He's been my number 1 ever since!

3. Zachary Levi- He plays in NBC's Chuck. The show is a little bit of Alias, little bit of geeky-goodness, with Mr. Hottie running around. I'm a sucker for his dark hair.

5. Jamal Mayers- I'm not sure he counts, since he's a professional hockey player for the St. Louis Blues; but he just moved onto my list these past 3 months. He's bald, dark eyes (again!), and looks great in a suit (or a hockey uniform, hell, he'd look good in anything).

3. Orlando Bloom - cute as Legolas, hot by the last Pirates movie. It's good to have a youngin in the list.

4. David Bowie - ever since I saw Labyrinth as I was kid - wow. But has anyone noticed him in "The Prestige" - gets better with time!!

5. Takeshi Kaneshiro - normally, asians aren't my type (maybe b/c i've had a stigma in my head that all asian guys were somehow related to me after calling their mother's "Auntie") he may be not overexposed in Hollywood, but he was definitely sexy in "House of Flying Daggers"

Goodness, after reviewing this list, none are Americans. LOL! How funny!

Hmmm... no responses from guys yet? I guess someone has to tell you what your husbands are thinking so it may as well be this idiot!

All I can say is... Bryan Ferry? Bryan Ferry rates up there with all this muscular eye candy? How does that work?

OK, if Bryan Ferry (and Andy Summers? what? Behind Stewart Copeland?) make someone's list, here's some alternates that you all might want to reconsider. If the name doesn't conjure up a face, you should probably google for best effect... :-)

1. Steve Buscemi. Come on, he's funny, and good looking! He was hilarious in Reservoir Dogs and in Ghost World!

2. Lloyd Robertson. That voice, those ties, the hair... plus, for some of you, you don't have to worry about shouting out the wrong name!

4. Dumbledore. The long flowing beard, the odd pronouncements, the magic... plus I just like the idea of girls oohing and aahing "oh, Dumbledore!".

4 (tie) Terry Gilliam as he appears as Patsy in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Funny and handy with the cocoanuts!

5. The Trailer Park Boys, especially Buggles or whatever his name is. Someone who really enjoys taking care of his kitties must really know how to treat a lady right. Plus, he's so full of self confidence that he doesn't care about his appearance. We all know how much the ladies like that...

6. Peter Mackay. Journalists always refer to him as a heartthrob, so he must be, right?

I know this is an old post, but I could have sworn I commented on it before. My wife and I have many conversations over this list. Oh well, here goes the first male list of FEMALE freebies!

In order of most importance:

Selma Hayek: She's so smoking hot. She's got a great body, just the right amount of curves, not too skinny, not too big. Just right.

Monica Belucci: She looked great in The Matrix Reloaded, and that was the first time I had ever seen her. I was pretty blown away, and she's older (than me anyway), which is hot. Also older than me.

Nicole Kidman: Older than me. I never really cared for her until Moulin Rouge. Then I realized how hot she was.

Alyson Hannigan: I was never a Buffy fan (I just don't watch much TV, nothing against Buffy) but I always thought Alyson was really cute. Just a very pretty, girl-next-door type of girl. I find that attractive. Older than me by 4 years.

Man, that's all I can come up with right now. I thought I'd have more, but I guess not.

@Paul -Nice list! I can totally see Selma Hayek's appeal. Your list seems quite varied... the only common denominator seems to be the 'older women' thing. Very cool! On behalf of all my fellow 30+yo women, thank you ;)

Yeah, I'm 30 myself, so Alyson Hannigan isn't too much older than me, but either way. women my age aren't really represented all that well in the media. Usually they end up in a National Lampoon movie doing something stupid. Older women are more often portrayed as capable and intelligent, which is more attractive than drinking beer and showing boobies, although the occasional boobies are nice as well.

Oddly enough, my wife is four years younger than me, but she's much smarter and mature than me, so the attraction level is the same as if she were older.

I'd also like to add Carrie-Anne Moss from The Matrix. Another capable, intelligent woman, who could also probably help me with the more technical aspects of my blog, considering she could hack a human brain.

There should be some feature that informs you when someone sends a comment your way... totally missed this one.

Harmzie, there is *nothing* I'm not telling you. The real reason I'm not providing my own freebie list is that I don't think I get one. Nothing's free, there's a cost associated with everything.

Plus, it's fun making up a list that gently mocks some of the surprising names that show up on some of the lists posted here. Well, actually, most of the surprising names on the list posted by you and Myrtle. It's six months later, and I'm still laughing out loud at the idea of Bryan Ferry and Andy Summers as pin-ups. To each her own...

Paul --- check out the 2007 flick Fido for another side of Carrie-Anne Moss. It's a light fluffy movie about zombies (honest) where she plays a 1950's style mom at home.

Paul - Alyson Hannigan? I'm too lazy to google her name right now, but isn't she the band camp girl from American Pie? Really?

@ Albert Bannatyne: I've seen Fido twice, it's a pretty good flick, and yes, Carrie-Anne Moss was really sexy in that as well. She can do no wrong.

Yes, Alyson Hannigan is from American Pie, but I never saw that movie. You're not the first person to react that way when I announce that I find her hot. I can't bring myself to watch American Pie though, as I like comedy.

Scarlett Johansson: While I think she's physically beautiful, I'm not actually attracted to her. Something about her makes me think we wouldn't get along in real life.

Jennifer Garner: I do find her very attractive and she seems like a nice person. Definitely on the list. She was very cute in '13 Going on 30'.Kate Winslet: Extremely hot, I can't believe I forgot to add her, I've had the hots for her since... forever. I also saw her in real life at a SAG screening and questionnaire. She's very sweet, and yes, I find her more attractive because she has a bit more curves than many other actresses. She should probably be at the top of my list, before Selma Hayek.

Anna Paquin: I find her somewhat attractive, but I'm not sure I would want to have sexual relations with her. I like her acting though.

and Katherine Heigl: Physically attractive, but I'm not attracted to her. She seems like a diva, and I'm not referring to her singing voice.

I've been waiting FOUR months in hopes that this post will get going again! Yay!

@Paul: I am intrigued by your analysis of SJ. I have always thought it rather "silly" that I would find a stranger (celebrity) "attractive" but not **attractive** (I don't know how to make HTML sparkly letters, and don't care to find out), and that the difference was the physical vs. the (perceived) intellectual. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.

Gee, this sounds like I've put a lot of thought into it throughout my life. Umm... I haven't... really.

@paul: that's funny. I had a thing for David Duchovny a while back (a "celebrity" thing, so it was pretty small). I recall turning "Celebrity Jeopardy" off when he was on it because I really didn't want to find out that he was an idiot or a jerk - or worse than all that: flat. I guess more realistically, I had a thing for Fox Mulder - hee hee: nerdy anyone? Jami? ;-)

@myrtle: THAT's funny, because I didn't think I had checked that box and suddenly I'm getting all these noticed (to Nen: I probably did - obviously - I just didn't remember)

@harmzie and @BionicBeauty -Sad that all these guys aren't really nerds -- they "just play one on tv".

On the other hand, there's Spencer Wells (my #5 - yes, I moved him up), a geneticist with National Geographic. I watch him on the CD that came with the Genographic Project that Roomie and I took part in. Roomie wondered why I kept swooning over mitochondrial DNA until I sheepishly admitted that it wasn't that but the tall, handsome scientist guy explaining it. :)

Ed Quinn (my #2) is a scientist on Eureka, but he's a musician in real life. I'm completely okay with that -- being a musician myself, I'm aware of the technical knowledge involved. I know, doesn't really count as nerdy, but I'm hoping that means he's not an idiot.

@ harmzie: That's funny because I always had a thing for Dana Scully, but not so much Gillian Anderson. I like nerdy girls too, especially ones that don't show a lot of emotion. It gives me a challenge. I have to break through the icy exterior.

@ Paul: oohh, Dana Scully! How could I forget her? I have a professional job that takes me out in the field. I like to look professional and yet functional and TO THIS DAY when I shop I'm saying "WWDSW?" (I think I might need a bracelet). Plus, she's just so cool and logical and never "chicky" - just aaall woman. When she gets pissed, you KNOW she's pissed... She gave us nerd-girls a role model. You know, something a little more functional than Uhura. Even Deanna Troi was a waif (now, Tasha Yar...)

Given that our lists are populated by fantasy persons (you've never met them, so that's all you have to go on) and the FACT that there is no such thing as a "freebie" (I'll play - with relish! - but I stand by that) I'm going to go ahead & pick TV characters (ref: "who's on your freebie list?").