I came across a story that initially captured my attention because of its NFL football ties to the Atlanta Falcons, a team I follow. The story originated over at Miss Jia’s blog. She posted a letter from a wounded, former, ex-lover of Atlanta Falcons football player, Ovie Mughelli, whom he hasn’t seen since 2007. All of this information is alleged at present time. As I have stated previously, it takes more than a little bit to get over an affair regardless of the makeup of the relationship. Especially one of a nature where secrecy and hurt feelings are bound to be intense and deeply emotionally involved.

Then there’s this:

“I am the one who told him my being his lover could
> ruin his career, and I kept our relationship between us because he
> was right, it wasn’t anyone’s business. He is the one doing this to
> his life, not me. He is the one living the extravagent life in
> Atlanta, posing in magazines as one of the most eligible bachelors,
> dating countless women, who can confirm as I know, he has hate
> issues with women.”missjia.com

With that quoted, I don’t feel its acceptable to out anyone, except for hypocrites who privately or publicly speak out against homosexuality, or those who have adopted an “anti-gay” agenda while practicing the lifestyle on the down low. Other than that, it’s just not cool. It’s not cool when it happens to someone who is gay and isn’t out yet, and the same goes for someone who certainly has pressing public and safety concerns for not wanting to reveal themselves because it’s not just family and friends to consider, it’s an entire public spotlight. Who gives anyone the right, jilted lover or not, with the way society views homosexuality, especially among black males in a macho, alpha male environment, to out another person? Then there’s that additional knowledge that the NFL doesn’t play that. Period. So why try to ruin his career? I have sympathy for the jilted lover, but this person knew the young man wasn’t out from jump. He was vulnerable when the relationship began and as the older person with more life experience, his lover should have stopped it early on. You knew the potential ramifications of outing him in a professional environment like the NFL. You set yourself up for heartbreak, and you knew this could happen in the beginning, yet lust prevented you from going with your right mind. It takes two to tangle and you could have said no. So, what makes now so different?

He was willing to be the mistress on the side all those years, until Ovie decided he didn’t want to be associated any longer, due to whatever personal or professional reasons. Would there have been any good enough reason for Ovie to have broken off the relationship, and the lover not feel jilted in some regard? He was willing to keep the relationship with Ovie a secret as long as Ovie lived in the closet with him. It’s called breaking up people. It happens everyday for a number of reasons. Do we have the right to our emotions? Damn right we do. But, to out someone then play it off as if you’re protecting all the straight damsels in distresses of the world from sleeping with this man, is far fetched even for men on the DL, who commonly protect each other. You were okay with it while you were getting broken off a piece, but now it’s suddenly not okay because he’s breaking off your piece? If he’s not out as gay or bisexual then you outing him is vindictive.

Be wary of someone who would potentially ruin your professional career because of private relationship matters. Gay, straight or bisexual; people deserve to come out on their own terms, not anyone else’s.

This story also got me thinking about another matter altogether. It’s interesting how common it is among people with sizable incomes to sign pre-nups, in effect paying their lover off when the relationship has reached its end. It may be difficult to understand why Ovie decided to hand over an envelope filled with money, or who knows what was enclosed as it was never opened, according to the letter, conveying the final chapter in the relationship in doing so. But, it’s okay to pay off a former husband or wife to reach mutual financial agreements, but not lovers? Yeah, alright then, interesting.

I am so glad someone decided to say this they way you have said it. Jilted or not, that wasn't a cool thing to do. This kind of stuff just make breaking up even harder. You don't go "outing" a person just because the relationship didn't end on your terms.

I hate to burst everyone's bubble but YOU HAVE BEEN SCAMMED! Ovie likes the ladies, Ovie has a child, and Ovie is the target of a con. You guys are talking about this like it's real? C'mon players–get real!

If you don't think it's right to "out anyone" then why would you pass this along? Especially when you don't know if it's true? I was pretty disturbed by this because it was *so* obvious (listen to that video and tell me this isn't a sick revenge game). Here's an intelligent article by a legit writer quoting Ovie's agent. Ovie wouldn't even dignify this b.s. with a response. http://thecliffordmethod.blogspot.com/2010/01/tag…

"If you don’t think it’s right to “out anyone” then why would you pass this along?"

I have as much freedom to give an opinion about this as does anyone, including you and the intelligent, legit, writer (your words, not mine) who had this to say: "But apparently you haven’t made it as a Black athlete today until you’re accused of being gay." That's quite an observation, and one that I consider to be arrant sarcasm and nothing more.

In any case, If you have evidence to the contrary I suggest bringing it to the attention of the blogger who originally broke the story and continues to follow it up. missjia.com

It’s your blog and you can certainly use it as a bully pulpit to get the last word, but all you did, at the end of the day, was perpetuate a false rumor thatcould have damaged someone’s career. If that’s what you’re about, I have nothing more to add. Now you can say something wiseass to me and have the last word again.

So what if Ovie had a relationship with this gentleman. .. Interestingly enough, this happens but it doesn't define him. . .The sports world respects Ovie as a quality football player and what he did in his personal life—as long as it was legal– is of no significance now. . . The supposedly 'jilted lover' should get a life and move on with it—without Ovie. . . It's over! ! It's 2010 and no one gives a damn about ones sexuality or prior sexual experiences. . . Ovie, Altanta loves and supports you and has your back. . .