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My excellent adventure at wal-mart

MY EXCELLENT ADVENTURE AT WAL-MART....

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a bag of Purina Dog Chow for
my dog Fred. I was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. I started to ask her what did she think I had, an elephant?

However since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't own a dog, that I was starting the Purina Dog Chow Diet for the second time. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Dog Chow nuggets and only eat one or two nuggets every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it's good for you and I was going to try it again.

I added that the last time I was on the dog chow diet I lost 50 pounds but woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of my nose and bladder and IVs in both my arms. By now everyone in the check out line was enthralled with my story.

Horrified, the woman asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the curb to sniff an Irish Setter's hind end and a Pontiac ran over me.

I thought the man waiting in line behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. BTY, I can’t shop at Wal-Mart anymore.

Scrapfe---Never believe anything in politics until it has been officially denied.--Otto von Bismarck.