Asking for a reading regarding new Job role - severe anxiety and fear

Hi - I hope someone might be able to do a reading or healp me with some other words of wisdom. In 1995 I had a severe head injury and did not go back to my previous job. About a year later, in May of 1996, I went to work as a three month temporary on a hospital computer system and have been there ever since as the IT support person for a particular department in the hospital. (I had a second head injury in 2005). I was able to learn the system and essentially created the position. I felt in control and I did a lot of work independently, taught myself and became and expert and an invaluable source to the department. Now the hospital is changing computer systems. I assumed that I would be rolled over into the "keeper of the new system" for the same department. But today I found out that I am not. That they are hiring someone else, because I do not know the new system. This does not make sense to me because I did not know the old system I saved the department tons of money. I cannot do the regular work. This is all I can do because of my head injuries - at least all I can do that uses my intelligence and creativity - almost everything else is grunt work. I still have more education and higher capabilitles than most other people doing some of this work, despite my head injuries. I just

broke down in tears when I was told I was going to be given "new work assignments" (like I was being put out to pasture) I feel betrayed by these people who I have worked so hard for for 15 years - they have gotten accomodations based on work I have done and I have almost never received credit for my work . I never really complained because I liked going to work and I liked my job and I was happy being able to do something I had "ownership" of and earn a living close to what I would have been able to do if I did not have the head injuries.

I feel as if my identitify is being stripped away. As if I am being passed over for an opportunity to add to my own work experience which will make me more marketable in a few years as a consultant, in the event of more layoffs.

Can anyone help to see if perhaps, I will be okay in the coming year - if they will give me the opportunity to work on the new system, or give me a position equal in authority to that which I had, which I likely deserve. I don''t understand their reasoning.

In less than two years, my life has been turned upside down -my husband decided to leave, totally messed up our finances, created distress in the kids, racked up attorney bills and essentially almost led me to bankruptcy and now this. My job was the most stable thing I had. It was like my home. I mean - I still have a job - but its not familiar any more. Its all wrong.

I understand change - there has to be chage. this is a time of change. But too much chage causes stress and anxiety and I am at my brealing point. (I was just starting to recover from all the other issues.)

What a strong tough person u are. N yes even as strong person as u has her break down. I sense ur will do fine in ur job the coming year. MAINTHING IS if you can, NO U MUST, is to take frequent YOU TIME when at home. Which means a time in which u rest with urself, center urself, nap or whatever gives you some tranquility. in this day an age we are so upset with not being good enough in all which we do, but we are doing the best we can n non can ask more. If they do we MUST counterask, are you doing the same? I say this bc those that say that bs often fibs. Another is that when it gets too much we feel ashamed for being ill or juss needing a day off n away from the hudrum. if u feel u need a day off take it. It aint a crime. in this time n age, heck ANY age n day its legit to take a breather and a i need time for me.

Bosses need no long reason if you call n say i wont come today i feel ill. Thats all they need as they here, not come in today ill. Ive rehearsed that on myself and u know what it works. when i kept it short they were happy but if i made the long i could hear oh god woman just say it so i can get back to my shit?

so sweetie, consider these small things for yourself. I suggest em bc if u go fully down, who knows when u can return as stress will have u down for the count, n illnesses to follow not to mention depressions on not being able to work, being ill n depressed n here we go evil cycle.

its WHY i suggest these small steps to PREVENT the big hello pit fall.

I hope this helps n plz DO consider it n yes it takes some adjustment thoughtwise bc we´re raised with the dity dicipline thought imbedded in our brain. Well it worked in the 1950ties but in the year 2010 ................... its an obselete idea n thought pattern. In my book anyhews.

I cried myself to sleep - again last night.. Like I cried every night from Jan thru March of 2009 because my husband wouldn't come back. THen I pulled out of it and I met a nice person - -even though we are only just friends, he gives me so much encouragement. THen I had issues with my oldest daughter and I cired because she was so hateful to me. Issues with my youngest daughter because I couldn't get the school system or her dad to listen to me, then issues because I was lonely the the money and financial issues and the divorce issues. Now this. All I can say is thank the gods that I have angels looking after me because my husband did move back in last May rather than me go into bankruptcy and forclosure and yes - it is not a perfect solution. I was just crawling out of the financial pit and emotional pit from everything else and I did not need yet ANOTHER CHANGE. I know that I need to be thankful that I have a job.

Anyone who knows anything about traumatic brain trauma or developmentally delayed children knows that stability is of the utmost importance.

On another note - I just read my horoscoped for today. Look what it said:

Pisces:

Saturday, Dec 4th, 2010 -- You might be holding on to a career objective so tightly now that it brings frustration instead of success. Your fear of failure could be so overwhelming that you're afraid to take a risk that could bring you closer to your goals. Ultimately, you must find a way to overcome your concerns about what will happen if you temporarily let go. Rest assured that even if you lose touch with reality, your feet will quickly return to the safety of solid ground.

I couldn't believe it. My horoscope almost NEVER relates to anything about me (especially with love issues) but this one was so appropriate. I am so glad I found this forum.

Even the people who tick me off have given me some things to think about!.

Well its a human error when we refuse change. Pisces is always about change. if we cant see it have it happen we somehow force it without knowing. In my book it comes about when im fed with doing the same ole thing time n again only to ram my head against that rockwall that just wont move. Until i stand up erect n look around n spot the exit.