Monday, November 28, 2011

So bad news:
My biological mother showed up for thanksgiving.
She brought her douche bag husband.
My grampa cried.
My back hurts.
The Sister is acting seriously b-i-t-c-h-y again. I can't say it because I decided to take the next several weeks to tone my vocabulary.

GOOD NEWS :)
My biological mother showed up for thanksgiving.
LoverBoy and I put up our first Christmas tree.
He bought Dante a rain coat! HAHAHA
I finally have some food and room in the fridge to put it.
I have pictures!!!
I can't post them right this second though...

Thanksgiving was good. The food was good. The company was (mostly) good. The food was good. I got to see everybody and sleep til 9. The food was really good. And I made some of it. I'll be putting up another recipe later: Sweet potato biscuits. Sound funny. Taste YUMMY.

The Sister has decided that when she moves out, she's taking the fridge. Well I don't care, but you better believe you're walking your tail to housing and checking with them before you do it because I'm not paying for the darn thing just because you took it without them knowing. I really don't like her. And of course, when we got home, she was playing nice with everyone. Then as soon as I get up here this morning, she's being a jerk. I mean she's being something else but like I said, I'm toning my vocabulary. I just really want her to go ahead and get her crap and move out. And if I have to lose the micro-fridge to get rid of her then so be it. All I can say is, I better not have to move out because of her or I will throw down. I mean I'm not the one who broke the agreement, she is. She just happens to be able to pay for a private room. Just because I don't have that kind of money does not mean that I should get booted out of the building with no where to go and even less money than I started out with. This, this right here, is part of the reason I despise her so much.

I'm trying not to be bitter, but every time I think about it, it just leaks out. It sucks. I don't want to be angry and yet I can't seem to keep from it. I just want her to go.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

So, since I'm going home for a week and we have crappy dial-up, don't expect much until next week, though maybe if something cool happens it will be worth getting on the crappy dial up to tell you :) Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 21, 2011

One: I swear, I will write down some bad puns so I can start making not-funny titles for my posts again :)
Two: weddings. Seriously on my mind. I thought LoverBoy was going to pop the question that one weekend, remember? Well, as we know, that was a no-go. I was so disappointed but I thought maybe it would be a Christmasy thing. Maybe. And then his dad asked for his Christmas present: a pair of wedding bands for himself and his wife. They never actually got married. And I think it is SO SWEET and I'm really impressed that he would ask for something like that and I want it to work out, I'm even willing to throw in a little myself since they're going to eventually be my parents-in-love. But Man-O-Mine has a very limited budget AND needs new tires because his just started sucking way too much to ignore much longer. So that's about five hundred right there, then the wedding bands for his parents, then a normal twenty dollar gift for his siblings, his few friends and me.
Know what that means?
No ring for me.
Does that SUCK? yes. Is there anything I can do about it? no. So, as excited and subsequently disappointed as I was the first time, this is worse because I know it's not going to happen anytime soon. And by anytime soon, I mean in the next six months or so. And it's been four years. I'm not content with "dating" anymore. That's enough. But it's not something I can change without just decided that it's marriage or nothing. And I can't do that either. So I'm stuck here. I want him to want to marry me. And I don't want him to do anything he's not ready for and then resent me later. But I also don't want to try to be fitting into a wedding gown when I'm forty. I know we're young. But I want to enjoy our youth together, not waste it. At this rate, by the time we get married, we'll either have to rush to have kids or just not have any. I want us to have a few years to ourselves at least. Not years where we don't even live together. We aren't children. We've thought it out. We have a plan. He just isn't setting it in motion and I'm getting tired of waiting. I want him to be excited about spending the rest of his life with me. He won't even ask! I'm not bashing him, really I'm not. But dang it.
Anyhoo, I've been looking through wedding magazines anyway. If only I could afford this stuff, like a chocolate freaking fountain! You can just hold the strawberries under it and they get covered. It's the best invention I've ever seen! We always planned to do a fall wedding, and I love the idea because the weather is wonderful and everything but.... the colors... I don't love brown and orange for a wedding celebration. I was thinking something a bit more....colorful....

Thursday, November 17, 2011

But on the up side, the other two are doing well. I'm doing ok too. Found out the sister is moving out next term. Which is fine, but she didn't tell me and wasn't going to and if I can't find a new roomie, looks like I might have to move out AND pay up two hundred bucks for breaking my housing agreement by moving out. AND when I forfeit housing, I also forfeit half of my scholarship money, which means I may have to drop some of my classes. Great. It was a bitch thing to do. It was. And I cussed. her. out.
But I'm not mad. I got tired of being mad and it wasn't like it would fix anything anyway. And I got tired of worrying about it because that didn't help either. So now I'm just riding and it will work out or it wont and if it doesn't, something else will.
Anyhoo, yah. I've been thinking about youtube videos, tattoos and school (a little, on the side lol). And money. I been thinking about that alot because I just don't have any. I need money for next semester, for an apartment in June (maybe.....), for Christmas presents, for groceries and to save up. Why is it that I need so much money and yet I obviously cannot possibly acquire it? I have a minimum wage job that I can't work more than twenty hours a week in, but really I hardly get more than 11. I LOVE MY JOB. I just wish it paid better. I'm thinking about getting a second but it's really hard to photograph randomly occurring sports and have a normal shift at a diner...
It will be ok, it will be ok, it will be ok....
It will. Don't make that face at me.
I need a canvas. A big one. And paint. Lots and lots of paint. That would make it all better for a while at least :)
BY THE WAY:
AWESOME recipe coming soon. Just gotta get LoverBoy to give me the camera with my pictures on it. But you guys, I stuffed strawberries with cheesecake and dipped it in melted chocolate! O.O Yah.
And an update on my dad, it's going well :) Thanks!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Just thought I'd put up some pictures of Dante :) He was considerably smaller when these were taken less than a month of ago. He's probably tripled in size since we got him (less than two months ago).

He really likes to stick his head out the window. In fact, he really likes to stick the whole top half of his body out the window while I hold on to his tail in a panic.

He also likes to take up all the room on the bed. He's not a very good sharer. As tiny as he was then, he could hog the bed. Now that he's bigger, he hogs everything. He and I especially have issues in regards to the right side of the bed. It's mine, he just doesn't understand that. He thinks it's his and I just don't understand. He usually wins.

When he's asleep, the most adorable thing! Do you think we HAVE to tell him that he's adopted? lol

Monday, November 7, 2011

I watched the Black Swan movie. Creeeeeeepy. *shudder* I mean I dont even know how much of the movie was actually happening and how much was just her being crazy. But let me tell you, that girl is crazy. CA-RAY-ZEE.
Been talking to JC almost all day. Im surprised he isn't sick of me yet. I think he's a little lonelier than he lets on though. Honestly, we don't even talk about anything. This is the usual conversation:
JC: Slacker
Me: I know.
JC: No you don't.
Me: But you do?
Yep.
Nope.
Always.
Never.
Never Land.
Nah.
Why?
Why not?
Too far away.
Nah. I'm tired.
No your not.
Yes I am. I'm going to bed soon.
No.
Well I'm not going right this minute.
Then go left.
smh.
It's pointless but it keeps both of us busy when we're dying of boredom and we both have company, albeit, pointless company. But we make good distractions for the other when the day just sucks.
In other news, LoverBoy has got something up his sleeve today...hmmmmmm. He's been so sweet to me lately. I mean I still can't get the boy to rub my back, no matter WHAT I do. But he's been being really thoughtful. Like he remembered I said something about wanting a night stand. I really did want one, but I'm sure I only said it once, like a passing thought. But he got me one. And my mom's birthday is coming up and since I didn't have time to finish painting her gift (a gardening station I fixed up from a work bench; I'll try to remember to get pictures), he painted most of it for me. He made it look good too. I'm impressed. But more than that, it's just so sweet. :) I'll have to do something for him this weekend. I don't know what. He's not hard to please, he's just hard to really please. Like he's happy with pretty much anything, but I want him to be happy because he's happy not because he's ok with something. He does that most of the time.

That demonstrates how lazy I'm being, I suppose. I don't care. This weekend was long. Dad's in the hospital, though he's doing much better now. I'm losing my mind. We drove around last night listening to Christmas music for a while. There were, of course, no Christmas lights out, which may be what got me down in the first place. But either way, I feel like crap. I'm letting my circumstances define me. I'm not proud of that. But I'm also just so bored. I'm so bored with this way of life. I get up, go to work/school, come back, eat, do work, rant on here sometimes, go to bed. For fun, I watch a TV screen or read a book that does nothing except make life look paler or I go spend money on things I won't ever use. It's pointless. And I'm tired of it.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I need to remember that I can't burst out a new blog every time I have a good idea. This blog right here, this place is where my good ideas should come and then if I remember them after that I can make something of them.
In other news, I think it's about time for another how-to. I just don't know what yet.
Also if any of you are artistic (in painting, writing, song writing, moviemaking, etc.) you should stop by my other blog The 10th Muse and enter the contest because no one has entered it YET!! Sad day.

We have a whiteboard on our dorm door so we can leave notes for each other, for friends, for people walking down the hall, whatever. Le Douche was all "heart heart heart" on it two days or so ago and our dad is going to a surgeon today to possibly get his foot amputated. I erased the board and wrote "please pray for my dad" and when I got back from work, The Sister (who is from this point on known as the She-Witch) had torn the board off the door, erased what I wrote and put it upside down on a chair in our room. So because you're mad at me because you're acting like a petty bitch, you are going to take it out on our father, not that you know what's going on anyway.
Someone tell me how I'm supposed to be "the bigger person" in this situation....
Anyway, everyone, please pray for my dad.

I want to write children's faerie tales, photograph wild animals, wear pretty dresses, get married on the beach, have a red-headed daughter, be a missionary in the congo of the BaMbuti, serve God in BIG ways everyday, fix up a little home with a flower box on the windows, paint the world, laugh and be as random as possible, and Love BIG every second that I'm given.