It's Their Business

ANN LANDERS Syndicated Columnist

Dear Ann Landers: My friends "John" and "Mary" have been married for four years and have three children. They say they will continue to have children "for as long as God gives them."

They are wonderful parents and so far can handle the financial obligations. They don't believe in birth control and will, I'm certain, continue to produce kids. Mary has had Caesarean sections for all three births. After her last birth, her heart and breathing stopped, and she had to have CPR.

Mary and her husband insist that if she gets pregnant again, it's God's will. I believe in God, too, and I think he may be trying to tell them that her body has had enough. If it had not been for modern science, Mary would not have survived the last birth. Even many religious faiths that ban birth control will allow it when the mother's health is at stake. What is your opinion? - God Wants You Healthy

Dear Reader: Mary has family, friends, a physician and authorities in the church - as well as a husband - she can turn to if she wants an opinion on family planning. I'm staying out of it.

Dear Ann Landers: I was interested in the letter from the parents of the bride who said she always dreamed of walking down the aisle alone. I, too, had planned to walk down the aisle alone.

As an independent woman, I have long realized the absurdity of anyone "giving me away" on my wedding day. But I also saw the beauty of the tradition of being escorted by my father - a man who had been by my side since I was born. I was eager to set aside my philosophy of "liberation" to honor this man and to walk proudly beside him.

My only regret is that my father did not escort me down the aisle after all. He passed away seven weeks before my wedding.

As it turned out, I asked my brother-in-law to escort me, and I'm glad I did - not only because I love my brother-in-law but because I needed his strength when I passed the seat where my loving father should have been sitting.

You cannot imagine the heartache I feel when I look at my wedding photos and there's no picture of my father. So, to the young woman who wants to walk alone, I say, unfortunately, one day you will. - No City, No State

Dear N.C.N.S.: I received hundreds of responses to that letter, but you said it best. I hope that bride sees this in time to change her mind.