Wednesday, March 29, 2017

4. Changes I Don’t Have to Make

I remembered my first encounter
with Jameston. “Hello,” he said,
extending his hand. “My name is Jameston.”

I shook his hand, and not sure I’d
heard him right, asked, “Jameston?” A sour look crossed his face. He told me he
pronounced his name ‘JAIM es ton’, not ‘jaim ES ton’, not ‘james TON’, and
please never refer to him as ‘James’, ‘Jim’, or ‘Jimmy.’

After telling me how to say his name, he half blinked, and a weak smile
crossed his face. It took me a long time
to recognize that tic was one of recognition. I imagined an inner voice telling him he was
right, struggling with a softer one recognizing he was overreacting, and asking
him to relax.

“Do you know the difference
between OCD and OCPD?” he asked. “If you
want to help me, it is important that you do.”

I said, “OCD, is an anxiety disorder. People feel bad about having it, at least in
its severe form. Most wish they could
stop the rituals and counting and hand washing.
The problem is not doing these things causes them a lot of stress.
Likewise, they need to have things organized to avoid anxiety. People with Obsessive
Compulsive Personality Disorder, OCPD, think they are right, the world is
wrong. They wish the rest of us would do
things their way, the only way, the correct way. They need things to be organized and done exactly
as they see fit, or they experience anger and frustration. ”

“Well, you seem to have a basic
understanding. I suggest you read a little more to sharpen your knowledge.”

There was the tic again. I felt
a sad sort of gratitude about not needing the rigid control Jameston needed.