Reviewing Random Films For Fun

June 16, 2015

Jurassic Park #MovieReview

Film 204 in the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge is 1993’s “Jurassic Park”. This Steven Spielberg adventure sci-fi thriller is based on Michael Crichton’s novel of the same name and is about a billionaire philanthropist and a small team of genetic scientists have created a wildlife park of cloned dinosaurs. Shock horror! This is my first time seeing any Jurassic Park. I haven’t even seen the new one that was released in cinemas on Friday. I really found myself enjoying this. The dinosaur CGI still holds up after 22 years. I was not expecting Samuel L Jackson to appear in this film. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him in this challenge. This film makes the 1001 challenge debut of Wayne Knight. Someone who I have only seen act twice. One was in 1996’s “Space Jam” as Michael Jordan’s best mate and in the TV series “30 Rock from the Sun”. Wayne would be his first and nomination for any awards for his role as Dennis by the Saturn Awards for Best Supporting Actor losing to Lance Henriksen in “Hard Target”. Jeff Goldblum was also nominated for the same award. This is a film I would recommended to anyone especially with “Jurassic World” being released recently, this is a good way to get into the series before seeing the new one. My question to anyone reading this, should I watch the sequels and/or “Jurassic World”? Let me know in the comments. Fun Fact of the Film – Prior to “Jurassic Park”, Richard Attenborough had not done any acting in a film since 1979’s “The Human Factor”. Between “The Human Factor” and this film, Attenborough would direct for films, 1982’s “Gandhi”, 1985’s “A Chorus Line”, 1987’s “Cry Freedom” and 1992’s “Chaplin”. One of these films made the “1001 Films to See Before You Die” challenge. Can you guess which one? Also, if you have seen this film, or the sequels, or “Jurassic World”, then let me know what you thought of them in the comments. Here is what I had to say while watching 1993’s “Jurassic Park”

Film – Jurassic Park
Year – 1993
Director – Steven Spielberg
Written by – Michael Crichton, David Koepp
Based On – “Jurassic Park” by Michael Crichton
Staring – Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum
IMDb Rating – 8/10
My Rating – 8.1/10
Length – 121 min (2h 1min)
Genre – Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
We open the film with men shifting metal crates
We’re 120 miles from Costa Rica at Isla Nublar
I’m assuming he’s being eaten by a dinosaur
Meanwhile in the Dominican Republic, a business man chats with Pepe
They’ve found a fossil cell in a mine
While that happens, people are digging up dinosaur bones in Montana
If you can’t see a TV screen because of the sunlight, cut some cardboard up and make a hood for your tv
Did you just call a dinosaur a turkey?
That kid’s eyes nearly popped out of his head after seeing that claw
Let’s change the conversation and talk about having kids
John Hammond is here!
He tells the couple about his island and his idea for having a dinosaur park
I’ll pay for all your things for the next 3 years!
Oh… and you now work for me
We’re in San Jose, Costa Rica
That is a bad choice of clothes to wear
It’s the cop from 30 Rock from the Sun
I know you just arrived but… can you pay for my lunch?
JEFF GOLDBLUM!!!!!
This shot makes it look like their on a train on the water
How do seatbelts work?
Pretty sure wearing your seatbelt as a knot isn’t safe?
So… They have 48 hours to impress the investor?
Stop looking at the leaf and look at the dinosaur with a big neck
Did we hear you correctly? You have a T.Rex?
“Welcome to Jurassic Park”
Let’s take a look at the museum
There’s too many Johns!!!!
This feels like rip-off Disney documentary
It’s a cinema that turns into a guided tour
Fuck your ride! We want a closer look at how things are done
Good timing, one of the eggs is about to hatch
None of our dinosaurs can have sex as they’re all female
It’s feeding time…. with a whole cow
Robert arrives and gives us facts on velocilraptors
Now we’ve just watch a dinosaur eat.. why don’t we eat
Are they having an arguement about dinosaurs?
What’s the point of going for food if they aren’t touching it?
Two kids arrive related to John
They have guided cars on tracks for everyone to try out
Are they trying to control the weather? Or where they are going?
I’m not even going to try and spell the dinosaur types as I know I’ll make mistakes on spelling
Holy fuck! It’s Samuel L Jackson!
Dennis is there as well…. not doing his job
The tour has taken them to the T.Rex part… and none of them are there
Lets lure a T.Rex to come by releasing a goat
That doesn’t work and now it’s raining
Let’s conduct an experiment with some water and how it flows down a human hand
Why didn’t they lock the doors?
They don’t have locks on the doors?
Everyone except Jeff Goldblum gets out for a closer look
They’ve found a sick dinosaur and… are in aw
Lets see how it got ill by looking at his poo
Where did Jeff come from?
Better cut the tour short because of the weather
Meanwhile, Jeff stares at a massive pile of shit
Dennis is hacking
Everyone but the wife leaves and continues the tour
How can you be occasionally married?
Dennis is being sneaky and the security has gone offline
He’s stealing dinosaur DNA and hiding it in a shaking foam can
Everything is down except the raptor fences
Damn! Which way is the dock?
We don’t have phones either?
Meanwhile, that goat is still there and the tour is back at the T.Rex section
Better start living on rain water
Anyone else feel that rumbling?
Goat’s dead
Well… T.Rex is here! And he isn’t here to sing!
And the lawyer runs away and hides in the gents
Don’t flash a light at T.Rex! In fact… DON’T MOVE!!!!
We’re protected from T.Rex by a sheet of plexi-glass
Well… That’s the kids almost dead
I will distract you with flares
Jeff Goldblum leads the T.Rex to lawyer.
And Lawyer is dead
That’s the girl saves… and the boy is stuck in the car
I’m assuming the boy is dead after that car fell off the cliff
Back in the lab and wife is there
Robert has been tasked to bring everyone back
Back with Dennis who is lost and gets stuck on a branch
My glasses – Dennis is the new Velma
Stop tormenting me raptor
Raptors are like dogs? Right? Nope
Oops! There does the dino DNA down the river
And Dennis is dead
And the dino DNA is hidden in mud
Meanwhile, a rescue mission is on to save boy from the car which is stuck in a tree
How the fuck did you survive?
“I threw up” – That’s the least of your worries right now
Boy is out but the car is loose and about to fall down
Robert and wife arrive at the T.Rex site to see everything that’s happened
They’ve found Jeff Goldblum! But no Alan or the kids
She got down that cliff quick
Meanwhile, Jeff is in the back of a Jeep all alone
Robert and wife are back in time to escape
“Must go faster”
Back with Alan and the kids who hide in a tree
I know we need to be saved but lets sing with friendly dinosaurs
Meanwhile, at the museum gift shop wife breaks the news to John
How many tubs of ice cream do you need?
Note to self – Never hire hackers
Alan and the kids survived the night in a tree and are woken up by a dinosaur having breakfast
Fucking dinosaur just sneezed on me
On the walk, they’ve found dinosaur eggs! They’re breeding
Back at the lab and no one can hack Dennis’s computer
Better shut everything down to get everything back to how it was
Back with Alan and the kids who are on their way back to the museum
T.Rex is back… and just ate a dinosaur
Do you mind not putting your plans on my injured leg
Stop being sexist John
Robert and Wife are trying to find the reboot shed
Well.. We;ve found it
Alan and the kids have found the safety fence and have to climb over it
Oh… At some point they maybe shocked with 10000 volts
And the power is back on
Jump or get zapped with 10,000 volts?
Tim chose 10,000 volts!
THERE’S A DINOSAUR IN THE REBOOT SHED!!!!
Samuel L Jackson is dead!!!! 😦
Wife escapes the shed while Robert is about to shoot a dinosaur
Robert gets eaten as the cameraman is more focused on a snake in the tree
Tim’s ok! Hooray!
Alan and the kids are back at the museum
Must… Eat… FOOD!!!!!
There’s a dinosaur in the museum!
Alan is with John and the others armed with a gun
Stay low and keep hidden
Scrap that idea! RUN!!!
Better hide in the oven and hope dinosaur don’t know how mirrors work
The kids manage to trap one dinosaur in a freezer but there’s still one after them
Lex is hacking into Dennis’s computer while Alan and Wife hold off a dinosaur
Everything is back online
Who’s idea was it to make the ceiling out of paper?
Tim’s been through a lot – Car crashes, 10,000 volts and near death every minute
Hooray! T.Rex just saved our lives
Sounds like Jurassic Park is no longer a thing – We don’t talk about the sequels or the new film
Everyone is back on the helicopter home
So… Remember that talk we had about having kids? You still want one?
THE END

One thought on “Jurassic Park #MovieReview”

I’ve seen Jurassic World and, it is SO good, leaps and bounds above The Lost World and Jurassic Park III. Kinda thought the ending was a little anti-climactic, but there was still enough of a hook to keep me interested in a sequel. Parts of the original still terrify me btw (especially that kitchen scene, *shudders*)