Friday, May 8, 2009

To voicemail from now on

He’s rung again. Twice. I think he’s so desperate that he’s grabbing on to any link to her and I appear to be at the top of the list right now. I firmly told him he has to stop ringing as he’s starting to freak me out. I told him we’ll talk more after the funeral if he promises to stop ringing me now and to lean on his friends and family for support over the next week.

I hope he hears me.

I’m glad he only has my cell number and my first name. The cops did get my full name when they took my statement last night but they don’t share that information around right?

12 comments:

I know you're in a tough position, you seem like such a compassionate person but it's hard with strangers. Maybe direct him to a minister, support counselor, or social worker who may be able to help him.

Bless you Lou for trying to help out. Some just try avoiding grieving people.

It's hard alright doanli. I want to be kind but he's making me nervous. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice man and I think he got the message and will wait now to get back in touch until he's a bit more together. I hope so.

He may be just desperate, like you said. I feel bad for him, but you have to keep your distance until he has his wits about him again. You can only be so compassionate to people you don't know, so you did the right thing by letting your calls go to voice mail. My heart goes out to him, as I'm sure he's overwhelmed with grief, and probably doesn't realize how much he's freaking you out. Stay firm with him, until he has had a chance to calm down a little. Giant, comforting hugs, my friend.

I don't think he means to freak you out, I think he's just trabbing at anything to hold onto her, and, unfortunately, that's you. Once he processes his grief, I think he may calm down. He may still want to speak to you, but I think he'll be more rational.

I feel for him, but I also feel for you Lou, how are you dealing with it now? If you feel you are having trouble coming to terms with it or are having any other problems, remember you have been witness to a very trumatic event, you may also need someone to talk to in the future as well.

This has been an extremely difficult few days. I am operating on autopilot I think - everything's a bit of a haze. I keep bursting into tears. I'm not really acting like me - yesterday driving someone cut me off and I got all enraged about it - totally unlike me. Scary. It's mothers day today so am taking it easy. Munching my tea and toast in bed as I type (thanks R) and planning on having a relaxing day. Might post something later if I feel up to it.

Wow, that's a really tricky situation. There's nothing wrong with being firm with him, telling him you're not the person for him to be grieving with, nor is it the right time for him to dig around about what happened. I think you're right, he needs to get that funeral out of the way. What a horrible situation though.