10 Thoughts on Restoring Childhood

“There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.”

- Elizabeth Lawrence

In the last 20 years, we’ve gotten away from the garden that is — or should be — childhood. It’s been replaced by too much structure and too much screen time while play has been disappearing from backyards and schoolyards across the country.

Below you will find 10 thoughts on how we can work together to restore childhood to today’s landscape…and tomorrow’s.

1. You only get one childhood. It should be marked by as much awe and wonder as possible, and spent in supportive communities with plenty of time spent outdoors, just being a kid.

2.Play is at its best when it is child-directed and unplugged. We adults tend to muddle it up with too much structure, too many rules, and prescriptive outcomes. Electronic play takes much of the creativity out of the equation, as well as limiting the all important aspect of social interaction.

3. Givem’ a break! Kids need time to unwind, to play and run, and to decompress. I support recess in schools and a reduced homework load. Not only will it benefit kids’ physical and emotional health, but it will benefit them in terms of learning readiness.

4.You cannot bubble-wrap childhood. Kids fall down, knees get scraped, and sometimes worse. But kids also get back up again. They learn about consequences and to assess risk. They learn about how to interact with the world and learn their place in it, but only when they are allowed to experience it.

5.Screen time should be limited. TV, internet, video games, etc. You might be surprised at how much time you and your family actually spend in front of an electronic screen. It’s simply not just the quality of what kids are watching or playing, educational or otherwise, but the quantity.

6. It’s OK for kids to be “bored.” We seem to have gotten to a place where we think we have to entertain or have a schedule of activities for every minute. It’s important for children to learn to entertain themselves—to create games, to read, to draw, or to just daydream. Getting comfortable with the concept of silence or a bit of down time is an important lesson to learn.

7.Organized sports are great, but they do not count as play time or outdoor time. I know, some will take issue with this, and that’s OK. But truth is, sports are adult-directed, goal-oriented, and task-specific. While kids are getting fresh air and exercise, they are not getting the benefit of exploring their surroundings, free play, or connecting with the natural world.

8. Every child benefits from planting something and watching it grow. Whether it is helping tend the family garden, pots in a windowsill, a container garden, or a plot in a community or school garden. Dirt = good.

9. Adulthood comes all too soon. Don’t rush childhood. If your child’s schedule looks too hectic, rest assured it is. If you spend more time interacting with them in the car as you shuttle from activity to activity than in your backyard or favorite park, then it’s time to take a step back. Simplify, for both your sakes.

10.What children want more than anything is our time. It is more precious than any video game system, MP3 player, or expensive toy. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, mentor, aunt, or neighbor—making the time to interact with kids is priceless. Connect. Play. LIVE.

I would love to hear your thoughts, so please share them below in the comments section.

Great points, Bethe! My son isn’t into organized sports because of the pressure to perform (that’s at least my interpretation… he’ll be 10 in a couple weeks). If he says he isn’t interested in participating in baseball or soccer or basketball or whatever other choices we throw out there, I secretly sigh relief. I’ve been lectured by other parents who think it’s important for kids to learn team work. I can see that to a point. But, how beneficial is that to kids when now, because of all the sports and activities, they don’t have time to just play? My son’s friends are always busy with activities and the only way to see them would be if we jumped on the bandwagon. Parents stress themselves out driving hither and yon and, even tho we don’t, my son is a kind soul who plays well with others. Many friends, when they do come over, complain of boredom and I tell them that’s good. Now go use your imagination. Lynn Hasselberger´s last blog post ..SIGG 03L Big Kid Little Footprint

Great post! We really have gotten away from some of the core parts of just being a “kid.” I am almost 30 and it amazes me how much the world has changed since I was little. It makes me sad that in a world of video games, cell phones and other possessions children lose out on real learning from the best tool-their imaginations. They are overstimulated from technology and grow up way too fast. I hope if I ever have kids, I can give them the elements you mention here. I grew up in a rural area so I was always outside growing up. I know I am lucky for having so many happy memories as a child.

Great post and comments. I learned an expression early in my career that never fails when trying to understand kids: “Every bird sings his/her own song.” Each child is different in myriad ways. We need to respect that and keep it in perspective when we ask them to conform to norms throughout school and life.

I am a huge supporter of trying to make sure that kids get plenty of time to just play. It is amazing how many organized activities kids can sign up for. I want to find that balance, but it challenging.

I agree with all ten thoughts. I teach early childhood development and education classes at the community college and I have a 17 year old son. I am continually advocating to my students not only the value of true play, but also to give children their childhoods back. I challenge them to remember the best aspects of their childhoods and to bring those elements, large blocks of uninterrupted time, the illusion of no adult supervision, risk taking, being outside, playing with nature, open ended materials, and real things (not store bought toys), hiding, imagination, getting dirty and messy, mixed ages play, secrets and surprises, independent projects, feeling powerful in your body and time to do nothing but watch the clouds or reflect.

After teaching 16 years what scares me most is when I use to ask my students to reflect and write about their fondest childhood memory the above elements or themes were consistent regardless of my students age, ethnicity, religion, country of origin, or if the grew up in the city, the suburbs or rural. However, now I’m being to see young adults who don’t have these memories and it scares me. It one thing to connect adults to their own childhood and inspire them to want to create this for their children or the children they care for, but when the adult doesn’t have these wonderful memories to pull from it much, much more difficult and then we have adults making senseless rules and laws than harm children more than the help them.

I truly believe we do more harm to the growth and development of this next generation by putting the in a bubble then by allowing them to be children, to play, to take some risks, get dirty, problem solve, grow and learn through experience!

In regards to organized sports, I agree. They can be great in moderation, just like most things in life moderation and not as a substitute for real play. My son has played baseball since he was 5 and loves it. But is only plays its during true baseball season and then takes the rest of the year off. And even during baseball season he has always had time to play, hang out with friends, and relax. I have always wanted son, to have memories the type of memories that Tom Hunter sang about “may the memories wrap their arms around you and protect you when they can”. I hope I’ve provided those types of experiences mentioned above for him and I help others working with children to do the same for the children in their care.

I have to say, that is so TRUE, when I was a kid we got told to go dig a hole in the backyard, for fun, we had limited time on the old sega and t.v. My daughter gets to only watch ABC in the moning and afternoon for alittle while and then we do her reading with her, she loves reading, we have caught her a couple of times playing with my 15 month old boy pretending to be a Teacher. That is what a kid should be about, pretending is what a kid is all about, these days it is all about learning everything on the Computer not like we used too pen and paper. But thank you for this blog it has all the things that should be taken into account these days.

This is a fantastic post – I agree with all 10 of your “thoughts”. You’ve said succinctly what I’ve been trying to say in my own posts – only you’ve captured the essence where I’ve been wordy and sometimes confusing.

Childhood has changed – as a society we have been conducting an experiment: changing childhood and how children naturally learn through free play to a childhood that is structured and adult-controlled. It’s a recent experiment – it’s only been going for a few decades, whereas the natural childhood has had many thousands of years of history.

And the results are in: the experiment has been a monumental failure; it harms children physically, socially, intellectually and emotionally. Only by returning to the way children naturally learn through play, with minimal interference from adults and maximum free play controlled by the children themselves can we reverse the damage that has been done – is being done – to our children. Thanks for being part of that change.Child’s Play Music´s last blog post ..Swallows and Amazons – How Childhood Has Been Stolen From Our Children

Dear Beth, Thank you so much for sharing! I am an in-home childcare provider, and work to provide an intentional, child-directed, play-based community. It can be hard to defend what I do to other educators and to the ECE community at large. My clients are all passionate about the types of interactions I support…there are families out there that are looking for this type of early experience. Thank you so much for taking the time to share!! Warmly, EmilyEmily Plank´s last blog post ..Mind the NO!

I love this! It’s so beautiful. I especially agree with #7. We started our 4-year-old in Little League this year because he’s taken a big interest in baseball, but we’re treating it as his one structured activity — his opportunity to learn rules, follow directions, and listen to instruction. It’s 3-4 hours a week, and the rest of his days are filled with playing with his younger brother, riding his bike and scooter, helping around the house, and making an occasional worm a pet. He is so joyful and full of life, and I hope I can continue to give him lots of opportunities to enjoy a carefree childhood.Suchada @ Mama Eve´s last blog post ..4 Breastfeeding essentials every working mom must have – sponsored post

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Hi. I’m a big supporter of getting kids outdoors in general. I teach environmental education for ages very little through college/adult for a non-profit called, Little Traverse Conservancy (www.landtrust.org), and I chair a grassroots group called, Getting Kids Outdoors in Emmet County (northern michigan). I would LOVE to share some of your blog posts on our website as long as you don’t mind. I’m learning the ropes of blog etiquette, so bear with me! Thanks so much for doing what I don’t take time out to do! Love the name of your site too Thank you!