Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Worst Capital Region Commercials

It's understood that hometown commercials are pretty lame. I know a lot of people pick on the Billy Fuccillo spots, but I think they’re effective, albeit annoying at times. With this in mind I put together a list of the worst hometown commercials for the Capital Region. Here’s my list, in no particular order. I have left off any commercial with a little kid 'being cute.' We can all agree that's like 1,000 sharp fingernails going down a 1,000 chalkboards, right?

1.Adirondack Tires: I simply do not understand this commercial. The concept is basically a hot girl doing nothing then saying something off-time like ‘Adirondack Tires is always on top.’ That’s supposed to do with selling tires, I guess. It’s really bad.

2.Residential Siding: This is that commercial where that black-haired guy talks about selling siding for your house, and all these unbeatable rates he can offer. It’s a classic hometown commercial in every way. Tough to watch.

3.Martin, Harding & Mazzotti: 'Call 1-800-LAW-1010.' Hate every one of their commercials. All the concepts are lame. They are so local looking, and I would never call these clowns to defend me in a legal situation. Come on, would someone really show up at court with these guys? No way. I’d rather hire that doughy-faced lawyer who doesn’t look like he could climb a flight of stairs.

4.Towne TV: It’s a local joint that does TV and audio-visual installations. These two guys hawk their (certainly) overpriced products, dubbing themselves as the alternative to the chain place. They do all the cliché, commercial moves. The yelling and carrying on, the tilting their bodies towards the camera, extending their arms, and saying the company’s name, with something like ‘Nobody can beat us!’ at the end. It’s as bush league as it gets.

5.Orange Motors: I've bought all my cars from Orange, and I do have some minor historical connections to the company, so it pains me to say that their new line of commercials is bottom barrel for Albany. The Vice Prez stands on the showroom, clearly reading off a cue card, stumbling and stiff through the delivery, with his suit pants hiked up to his chest. The commercials look like they were made in the 1950’s. I’m waiting for somebody to bring him a root beer float on roller skates. In one commercial, he points to a row of new cars, and says, ‘If that DON’T fit your fancy, how ‘bout these?’ Don’t fit your fancy? Not only is that murderously-bad word formation, it doesn't make sense.

5A.The DWI GUY(radio): I HATE these commercials. I literally cringe every time they come on the radio. Tom Anelli's a lawyer that defends people accused of driving drunk. Then he has that little jingle that they play every time, ‘Call 1-800-DWI-TEAMMMmmm.’ Now he’s trying to take a more serious approach and explain that DWI is not a game, but he doesn’t let the commercial end until he says, ‘Now play that funky jingle.' Listen to PYX 106. You’ll hear it 10 times an hour.