Tuesday, November 8, 2011

21years later, you're not my Mom & Dad? {Guest Post}

MeetCrystalfromLife as a Seed. Crystal is a wife & a mommy living in Michigan. She is about to open up her heart and share an experience ...lifechanging, that will completely shock you. It would shock anyone. Be sure to hope over to her blog world and share your words & love!

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Andy proposed to me in March of 2005. After that, obviouslywedding brain took over. Everything I thought about fromthat point on was wedding, wedding wedding! Until the daythat I checked my Myspace....(yes, I said it...Myspace) and I had a message from some girl saying that she was my sister.....HUH?! Um, well unless your blonde and your nameis Lisa, I don't know what you are talking about. She wasn't ANY of those things. She was like 14 years old, half black and well...NOT blonde. LOL! Her name is Shantell....and well, she wasn't lying. She was my sister. Half sister, but nonetheless, my sister.

So anyways, back to this Myspace message. In so many words it said that I was being lied to my whole life, that the parents that I know so well as Mom and Dad took me from my birth mother, and hid me so that my "mother" was never to find me. So I kind of just put this to the side. I had a wedding to think about. I didn't want to be bothered. This girl OBVIOUSLY had the wrong girl. I messaged her back saying just that. "I'm sorry, but truly, I think you have the wrong girl. I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help, hope that you can find who you are looking for."Well, that wasn't good enough for her. She kept messaging me and telling me all these things. I just brushed her off. Until she started posting baby pictures of me, and then adoptions papers and things with my name all over them. Ok, now I'm thinking WTF is going on?! I tell Andy, and he's just as skeptical. But with all this documentation and what not, I'm kind of a little interested to see what the deal is. I didn't bring any of this up to my Mom...I thought she would be like "who is this crazy person...people are nuts...blah blah blah". And I knew that she was just as caught up in the wedding as us. So I just went about my business (wedding, wedding, wedding) and just tried to keepa straight head. Which was hard with this is the back of my head...it was really all I could think about. Like REALLY? I'm about to get married, and now I could possibly be ADOPTED?! I'm 21 years old! How could this all of a sudden become a possibility? And if so...WHY....WHY did my parents NEVER tell me?! Those were just some things that were going through my headSo, after the best wedding EVER, and going on the BEST Honeymoon EVER....I take all this information to my Mom and am very excited for her to tell me what's going on. Tellme that this person is nuts, and she has the wrong girl...but then again, how could that be. This girl knows my name, and has baby pics of me, and my name all over these documents. I pull up the pictures on Myspace and show them to her. And, almost immediately she starts tearing up. And I look at her and the only words that come out of her mouth when I showed her a picture of the lady in question is, "yes, that is your birth mother." WHAT??!?! You mean, I didn't come out of YOU?! How is that possible?! At 21 yearsold...I JUST got married, Just started my life...how could I just be finding out that I'm adopted? She told me that this girl (Andrea is her name) was, in so many words, a problem child. She was friends with my sister and brother and their friends in high school, and didn't have the best home life. Her parents were sick of her going out all night and partying and what not. So my Mom kind of took her in to justhelp her out. Give her a warm place to stay. Weird thing is that my sister and brother and all their friends all knew Andrea when she was pregnant with me. She was 15 when she gave birth to me. She tried the whole single mother thing for a little while. The Father didn't want anything to do with me. He didn't believe that I was his...I guess Andrea and this guy had a one night stand and bam...that's how I became me. So after trying to be a mother and trying to takecare of me, her wild child tendencies came back and she started going out again, leaving me at all hours of thenight....not taking care of me. All that kind of stuff. My Mom was basically raising me because she knew that if she would even attempt to let Andrea, she would probably just leave me in the crib and climb out the window. Which I think might have happened once. I guess I was also left on the steps of a police station too...I was in and out of foster homes and all that too. There was even letters that my Mom gave me from the Foster home about me. Like how I liked to eat my cereal to the way I liked to be put to bed. THAT was surreal to read...NUTS

So...Here's the deal. I am the oldest of 9 kids. Yes, you read that right...9!!!! She had a baby 3 years after she had me and kept him! When I found that out, I was so mad!! Like, really? How could you have been any better off 3 years later?! Just didn't seem right to me. So I thought that I would try and get a hold of Andrea. I wrote her a long message on Myspace, and waited and waited and waited...finally received a response. Basically telling her side of the story. Which didn't really match anything that the adoption papers it was in my "best interest" to keep it from me. But there was documents in the adoption papers on "how to tell a toddler they are adopted". So they made the choice on their own to keep this secret. But, then I find out that it really wasn't a secret...literally, everybody that had ever crossed my path in my 21 years of living knew that I was adopted. For some reason, my Mom would just tell then that I wasadopted, but I didn't know. So just to not say anything. Really? Cuz if you would have just NOT told anybody, then there wouldn't have been a secret to keep....right?! Nobodyexcept FAMILY would have known. My Husband was the only one that never knew. Besides me. But HIS best friend and his girlfriend knew. That just made me mad. All in all I am who I am because I was adopted. I wouldn't have survived any other way. It was tough to find out, but the parents that raised me were amazing for what they did. And I appreciate everything they did for me. I wouldn't have had my life happen any other way. If it weren't for me being adopted, I wouldn't have met my husband, and I wouldn't have the most amazing daughter right now. So for that, I'm thankful!

So there it is. My life changing experience. Crazy, right? 21 years old, JUST got married, just started my life, and BAM!

I'm all of a sudden adopted. But it is what it is, and that's my life! Thank You for reading, and I hope that if there is anybody out there that is going through the same thing, that needs help coping...you can come to me. I'm here! I can hopefully help in some way!

Thank You, Jessica. I really appreciate the opportunity to put my story out there!!

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I couldn't imagine.

When I read this my heart exressed emotions I don't think I've ever felt before. This was remarkable. Thank YOU, Crystal for opening your world and sharing a very touching point in your life.