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Parents are often given all the credit - and the blame - for how their children turn out.

You get accepted into university, your parents are congratulated on producing such a smart child. You decide you'd rather be a Goth and do weird things with goat's blood, people say, 'I wonder where George and Martha went wrong?'.

As adults, plenty of us blame our parents for any (or all) of our shortcomings. But how much is their fault - and what can you do to change it?

According to a new study, our childhood affects our relationships for the whole of our lives - in quite a profound way.

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They're responsible for how well you do in school, how you get on with others, whether you choose a career as a corporate or a life of crime.

There's zilch you can do about genes, except be aware of what you've inherited and consciously fight against those that don't work for you.

What your parents gave you: environment

We don't just hatch out of an egg and raise ourselves.

We're dependent on people around us, and no matter how much our parents love us or how good their intentions, they're human and make mistakes.

After all, they have their own set of genes inherited from their parents, and how their parents brought them up influences the way they brought you up.

We're all products of the generation before.

Ideally, parents are loving, supportive and affectionate, while simultaneously encouraging their children to be independent and make their own decisions. That's the theory. Unfortunately, not too many of us grow up with perfect parents. Some parents are cold and distant, others cruel and abusive.

Most muddle their way through, alternating between Parents of the Year and 'Oh, for God's sake, what do you want now!' parents, depending on how far behind on the mortgage payments they are.

All parents have some flaws, and as a little child, you are like a sponge, soaking up whatever their attitudes are and reacting to the way they treat you.

What men find attractive often based on how their mother looks and acts. Photo / 123RF

What men find attractive often based on how their mother looks and acts. Photo / 123RF

Mum and Dad in the bedroom

Yes, that's not a sentence any child wants to read but one of the most important influences on the romantic relationships you have now is the relationship your parents had.

We learn how men treat women, how women treat men and how a relationship functions by the way our parents behaved toward each other. Scary thought, isn't it!

Now here's the really scary part: no matter what sort of relationship your parents had, you'll subconsciously search to find a replica of it, or (if you've consciously thought about it) the complete opposite.

Sometimes that's healthy. If you admired your parents' partnership, it's sensible to look for the same.

It's also sensible to want something completely different if you didn't.

The problem with all this is that we're naturally programmed to look for mum and dad clones.

Unless you're intensely aware of what your subconscious is up to, you aren't even aware of what's going on.

Fathers and daughters

The way women feel about their father affects the way they feel about all men.

He's the first man you meet, the first you get close to, so we tend to judge all men by him.

If your father was successful, you go out there thinking all grown-up men will be. If he was nice, all men will be nice to you.

If he wasn't so nice, you think quite the opposite. In fact, if you don't trust men, dad's usually got something to do with it.

The old theory that women who love their fathers marry a man just like him does have some truth to it.

The way women feel about their father affects the way they feel about all men. Photo / 123RF

The way women feel about their father affects the way they feel about all men. Photo / 123RF