September 20, 2009

Happiness

Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy (Wikipedia).

But...

"You cannot hold someone's life the way you want it to be, no matter how you want them to be happy, they have rights to choose which path they'll go through."-my facebook status, posted 3 hours ago

Most of usually encounter problems on friendship - getting real close up to the point that life's meaning to you is that person or that group of persons. I've been spending most of my teenage years with ten great people (aside from my family) that changed my life, in all aspects. I treat them much like siblings and to tell you honestly, I'll die when they go and leave me or the other way around.

Separation anxiety, fear of rejection. I don't know what's really happening or what's going through my head. I do understand the fact that I cannot took hold of these people's aspirations and dreams... it's their life and they are the only ones who has the right to decide what should they do.

I've been looking for what I really want in life these past few days and decided to stay away from the usual "me" lifestyle. But as each day pass, there's a hole in my heart that grows - something that makes me feel that everyday there's something or someone taken from me and I don't know if I can find them again.

Case #1: An indecisive friend.- I know that this friend only wants to be happy in life. But then, there's a lot of circumstances that took place and made the wind blow the other way. I'm not losing my patience on this person [but I'll admit that this scenario's really testing me], not even losing a single drop of faith. I know that this person deserves to be happy [everyone does]. All we need is to wait for that right time when everything falls in their right places.

To my indecisive friend: You need a gentle nudge regarding your perspective of happiness. I don't know if that nudge would be from me, but I hope that eventually you'll realize that great happiness is not about getting it in a blink of an eye - it's already destined and God only knows the right time.

Case #2: The 360 Degrees Mood Swing- It's getting worst everyday!

To myself: Don't let the stress eat you... You are not edible!

Case #3: Old Maid Trauma- To quote one person, "I'm getting older and I need someone to rely on." Correct, indeed. And that statement is bugging me and deeply affects my thinking activities [don't get me wrong, I'm not yet psychotic]. I never did this before but I'm trying to rely on my horoscope at Yahoo! just to keep myself sane.

WHERE IN THIS F WORLD CAN I FIND YOU?!...

...or have I found you already but the problem is, I have already let you go. :(