So Who Are You REALLY Marrying? The Truth May Scare You… (Part 2)

Is your sweetheart all they’re cracked up to be? Or is there a darker side beneath the mask…?

In our previous article we talked about the fact that love is blind, at least in the early stages. People are prone to overlooking their partner’s faults and foibles. However, labeling morning grouchiness as “cute”, and overly picky eating habits as “selective” is one thing. Extreme rudeness, on the other hand, or controlling behaviors and tendencies toward the use of abusive language are not “quirks” – they are warning signs.

So for those of you who haven’t tied the knot yet, but are giving it some serious thought, we’ve made a list of situations and circumstances where you should observe your (possibly) future spouse. Romance is wonderful, we couldn’t agree more. If you’re hoping to avoid a divorce down the road, though, it’s really important to make an informed choice right at the start. When the rose-tinted glasses come off and reality sets in, you’ll be grateful you did!

In the previous installment we looked at the first four: family, alcohol, stress and work. Here are the last five:

Friends –

The kind of friends you have says a lot about the kind of person you are. While many people have one or two crazy friends whose outspoken opinions or risky behaviors can make everyone else a little uncomfortable, on the whole, the kind of people you surround yourself with is often an indicator of the kind of person you are. Pay attention to the kinds of friends your partner spends time with. Are they the kind of people you would welcome into your home? Or do they make you want to change your address?

Tardy –

Everyone has “hot buttons”, and perhaps your sweetpea’s button is other people’s lateness. But how someone acts when you are running behind for a dinner date or a movie is often a little window into their thoughts. Unless you are chronically tardy all the time, a little lateness here and there, especially if the reasons are valid (think work and traffic), should never result in screaming, meanness, or a full evening of the cold shoulder.

On The Spot –

Most people don’t like being put on the spot and being forced to think on their feet. After all, uncertainty is stressful and no one likes looking like a fool because they weren’t prepared. However there are gracious and mature ways of handling these sorts of situations, and then there are ….other ways. How does your honeybun respond to social anxiety?

Children –

Not everyone is comfortable around kids, especially if they had no younger siblings (and therefore, no experience in dealing with little ones.) But you don’t have to love children in order to be patient and kind when you deal with them. Someone who is snide or rude to a child, or openly dismissive of them, might not have a great future parenting.

Money –

While not everyone is taught how to manage money by their parents, there are a few tell-tale signs that your beloved is epicly bad at financial decision-making . For example, little cues like getting evicted for not paying their rent. Also, five figure credit card debt, and living high on the hog when their income is rather more piglet-sized, should be cause for concern.

Romance and butterflies-in-your-tummy feelings are great. Afterall, chemistry is the backbone of love in the early stages. Warm and fuzzy feelings don’t last, though, and there needs to be something solid and reliable to build a lifelong relationship on. Unless you’re expecting to end up in divorce court (which most people don’t plan for while shopping for rings – unfortunately.)

So, enjoy that romance! But keep your head screwed on the right way round, and take stock of the love-of-your-life before you say yes. It may just save you from having to say no later on. If it’s already too late for that, and you’re trying to get out of a relationship to someone whom you thought was the Romeo to your Juliet, but turned out to be rather more of a Hamilton to your Burr, call The Kronzek Firm at 866 766 5245. We’re here to help you pick up the pieces and plan for your best possible future.

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Our team of family law attorneys regularly practices divorce, custody, parenting time, CPS defense and PPO cases throughout Ingham County and Lansing, Charlotte and Eaton County, Clinton County and St. Johns, Shiawassee County; Jackson County; Ionia County; Gratiot County; Livingston County and Barry County.

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