Praise tot for using proper voice level

Hamilton Spectator

Q: Can you please tell me how to handle a screaming grandson? He screams for what he wants instead of trying to say what he wants. He is 18 months old and he can say some words. I am very sure he can say a lot more words than I give him credit for, his parents tell us what he says while we are away or when they are at other places; (yes, they live with us). He did start out at a young age asking for his juice and he did pronounce the word very well. When he was at day care he was taught sign language. Since then he signs the word “more” and screams.

A: Your question is actually complex, given the age of your grandson. Typically we expect a child of his age to have some 50 or so words that can be used with some degree of accuracy. We would also expect the child to be of reasonable tone or voice.

What I don’t know by your question is if your grandson screams or is loud whenever he talks or just when he wants something.

If he is always screaming when talking, I would wonder about a hearing deficit. Given he is now in day care, it is not uncommon for children this young to have ear aches and a build up of fluid in the middle ear. If this is the case, he will likely outgrow this stage. However, multiple bouts of ear infections during this stage of language development can lead to auditory processing disorders, so get it checked out. For this he should be assessed by a pediatric ENT, audiologist and speech-language pathologist.

If his screaming only occurs as a function of a demand, then the issue is likely behavioural and his screaming has been reinforced by the attention he receives and/or by giving into his demands when screaming.

Assuming he is physically well and the issue is behavioural, when he does scream, tell him in your quiet voice that screaming is not acceptable and that when he asks nicely in a quiet voice, you will talk with him. Then you must ignore his loud voice and not give in to his demands until he is speaking more reasonably. Also important, you must give positive feedback in the form of praise when he uses an appropriate voice at all other times. Let him learn that a reasonable voice earns attention and the objects of his demand.

Lastly, kids sometimes mimic the behaviour of others. There should be no screaming or yelling by other adults or children in the home.

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