This board is a composition workshop, like a writers' workshop: post your work with questions about style or vocabulary, comment on other people's work, post composition challenges on some topic or form, or just dazzle us with your inventive use of galliambics.

I would greatly appreciate any comments, corrections, and even alternate versions for the following translation.

Many thanks.

*

At midnight the famous general set out from his camp to seize the strong position which he had examined six hours earlier, before the enemy could notice, weary as they were with fighting and marching. And so, when the three cohorts had been led around by a secret route, he was able to draw up his front line under the low rampart itself and give the signal to advance. The terrified enemy had never expected to see armed men in their rear, and fearing that they might be attacked on both sides at once, they threw down their arms: they knew not where to look for help and they would not have had any hope of safety if they had not used all speed and fled each to his own home.

The use of 'eum' in the first line is incorrect. Since your general is the subject of the main clause, you need to use 'se', or just leave it out entirely. I agree about 'castellum'. 'locus munitus' or 'locus secundus' or something like that would be better. I also think the use of 'ad' with the gerundive results in a somewhat awkward and lengthy phrase. Perhaps 'ut' + the subjunctive instead?

How important is it to incorporate the 'he was able' in the next line? Perhaps you need to rethink your construction and use 'possum' with a couple of infinitives. Also, as mentioned, 'progrediendi' is a good addition.

The use of 'conspectos' really doesn't work. Expectation implies a future event. They never expected they WOULD see armed men etc. 'conspectos' means 'having been seen men. Perfect Passive Participles are alla bout actions done before the verb they are connected to. You can't expect to see men that you have already seen, if you get me. A better construction would be 'hostes numquam exspectaverant se armatos a tergo suo conspecturos esse.'

'timuerint' should be imperfect subjunctive. You don't need 'possent' in the fear clause. Simply putting 'oppugno' in the imperfect, subjunctive, passive will do.

'suae domui' needs to be in the accusative case, or else John Cleese will chop your balls off!Your final verb needs to be plural, since it refers to the enemy soldiers, not the 'quisque' of your protasis.

Half asleep doing this... hope it makes sense!

The only thing we can guarantee when communicating via the internet is that we will be almost completely misunderstood, and likely cause great offence in doing so. Throw in an attempt at humour and you insure a lifelong enemy will be made.