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Hey squirrel friends! This week’s Tuesday Televisionary is chock full of awesome, so let’s get right into it, shall we? But first, news!

Hey, didja hear: McSteamy has a sex tape! Grey’s Anatomy‘s Dr. McSteamy (Eric Dane) and his wife Rebecca Gayheart are in a sex tape with some former beauty queen. LOLOMGWTFBBQ.

And speaking of Grey’s, watch an awesome interviewwith Jessica Capshaw (one half of CALIZONA!) at E! Online. Also go watch this new Glee clip(thanks, Nicole!), a behind-the-scenes look at the making of their cover of Kanye’s “Gold Digger.” Just a few more weeks and we can watch Glee every week! And then you might as well watch this newGossip Girl promotoo. Also you can [sneakily] watch the 13th unaired Dollhouse episode, “Epitaph One,” here, in HD! Ok I’m done.

The Glorious Downward Spiral Award: Nurse Jackie

(Episode 110: Ring Finger)

Great, moving on. This episode was INSANE. Nurse Jackie and O’Hara kiss and make up in a totally awesome BFF realistic way that I totally get. Then a guy drops dead in a post office from cardiac arrest, and the team is unable to revive him. Jackie does some really sweet things for the recently deceased patient that almost make you forget about how Nurse Jackie spends the rest of the episode, which involves getting mega high, having O’Hara saw off her wedding ring with like a bonesaw or something (it was stuck), giving Coop the biggest mindfuck of all time (she doesn’t freak when he grabs her boob and then KISSES HIM on the MOUTH), and finally smashing her finger with a hammer to help explain why the ring is broken. Wow. Just… wow. I have never experienced anything like this show, for real-reals. Also Zoe walks in on a post-coital Eddie and Jackie which is hiiii-larious.

And I know I’ve said this before, but to really appreciate the complexities of a show like this (and True Blood as well) you should be reading Jacob’s incredible recapsover at Television Without Pity. Here’s a particularly hilarious excerpt from the scene where Jackie talks to Coop in Eddie’s pharmacy, right at the beginning of the scene:

“There is always going to be tension between us,” Jackie says, and the truly alien geometry of what she’s about to do becomes clear. Oh, girl! I love you! That is some Xena Warrior Princess shit right there. Not to mention proof positive from the creative team that lesbians know exactly what they’re doing when they scare the shit out of you, which I’ve always wondered about.

The Number One Feeling Award: True Blood

(Episode 209: I Will Rise Up)

“She was clumsy, stupid and mean, but i wouldn’t wish that kind of death on a possum.” -Arlene

Highlights of Episode 9, I Will Rise Up, include but are not limited to:

1. Sookie sucking Eric’s blood, inadvertently linking them together forevs and evs. This was really hilarious at first, when I hadn’t connected the dots regarding Eric’s intentions.

TANGENT: In the book, Sookie has this great dry sense of humor, with a good mix of self-deprecation and smugness. Either the writers/directors don’t give Paquin the chance to show this side of Sookie, or they do but she’s terrible at it. This scene kind of redeems her. Or, you know, maybe I’m reading too much into it.

2. Eric begging Godric to stay. I’m gonna show my cards here and tell you that I absolutely loved the relationship between Eric and Godric. Not because it had some sort of gay undertone — I don’t think it did, really — but because it was so pure and real. This scene broke my wee little heart, you guys. [“Come on, it was a little queer, right?” – Carlytron]

“Are you very scared? -Sookie

3. Jessica meeting Hoyt’s Mama! This awesome scene was set up by an equally awesome scene involving Hoyt telling Mama what a hateful, prejudiced bitch she is. He didn’t call her a bitch — I did. Later on, at Merlotte’s, Jessica tries harder than anyone should to impress and befriend Mama, which of course doesn’t work. Hoyt stands by his woman and sort of grows up right before our very eyes. Oh, hey, have I mentioned how much I love Hoyt and Jessica? [“They are still very much my number one feeling this week.” – Carlytron]

4. Jason and Sookie dealing with life, together and such. Here’s another touching moment that really touched me. I was touched. That’s what she said.

5. Anna Paquin was topless! Sookie dreamed a little dream about Eric. This took at least 20 minutes, I think. I like Eric better when he’s an a-hole.

6. WHERE’S MY CORN??! Self-explanatory.

7. Lafayette and Lettie Mae save Tara from black contact lenses/Maryann. Lafayette is so amazing! I may have said “wooo!” I definitely said, “You know what’s sad? This happens all the time. Your mama and your cousin have to come and drag you out of someone’s house, drunk, kicking and screaming. And your boyfriend gets beaten up. Happens all the fucking time, ya know?” And then Cheryl said, “Mmm hmmm. Write that down.”

“I don’t know what you is, but I’m feelin’ you, and you a soulless bitch.” -Lafayette, obvs

So what did I miss? There are only 3 episodes left!

Next:Vogue Evolution does Beyonce, Weeds, and the Hot Girl of the Week Award!

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20 Comments

omg 3 episodes of True Blood left—**biting finger nails** How is going to cliff hang? I don’t think I can wait until next summer! GAH! Will have to be sated by Food Network shows and last season of LOST, Heroes, DollHouse. Maybe? idk

I’m liking the ‘jump to’ thing, while missing the last few weeks of nurse jackie i was afraid I’d accidently read something haha – i love that show, and apparently its the only show my mom actually sits down and watches (which says alot- cuz she has no free time haha), she even rewatched them w. me – and my mom pointed out tht the whole scene with the iphone & the guy being dead, – that that is an example of how goood the writing on that show is – is this comment making sense im so tired , i don’t want to wait til next summer for it to come back!

OMG Nurse Jackie! OMG Weeds! Why is Showtime so insistent on making me feel very WTF? after every show they air?
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Sidenote: I loved that you used LOLOMGWTFBBQ as it has been my favorite internet acronym since early 2007.

i definitely teared up during sookie and jason’s sibling bonding scene, even though anna paquin’s performance tried to prevent me from doing so at every moment. i think i said “what the hell is this” more times than ever this episode, mostly during bill and sookie’s scenes. i tripleheart lafayette – i actually think he might be so awesome he’s ABOVE maryann’s manipulation. in which case it’s all going to be okay and maryann will be gone soon. with help from vampires, but not godric, *bloodtear*.

#1: Love *bloodtear*, BCW. Brilliant. I like to make references to this show whenever possible. Case in point: I met a guy I will have to be working with once a month, and he was so intense and fierce and beautiful and mesmerizing, I left the meeting with him and said to my boss, “That guy was totally trying to Glamour us!”

#2: I. need. to. watch. Nurse. Jackie. DVD I guess?

#3: I watch T&T and I say in my head over and over, “God I hope my girl wants to play sports”, as well as, “I will never live in the midwest”. (no offense to the MW)

#4: Intervention was so sad. The scariest high to see has always been the heroine high for me. It’s one of the highs I have never experienced first hand, never wanted to even, but this ep should seal the deal for anyone thinking of experimenting. Those parents were such enablers…
***If you love mental illness as much as you love drug addiction (and as much as I love mental illness!) then I hope that you watch Hoarders after Intervention from now on. Holy. Lord. FASCINATING AND DISTURBING ALL AT ONCE.

#5: True Blood is the only show I am addicted to right now, but addiction is not a strong enough word! You got everything perfect, Laneia. Great recap! The Godric moment was so touching, the Jason/Sookie moment on the bed, not so much for me. I am waiting on the books from the library right now, cuz I hear they are way better than the show (but I wont give up on the show).

Did you hear that Evan Rachael Wood will be on next season? She starts at the end of this season and plays some Queen? Exciting or no?

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