Hunter’s failure to engage stretched what should’ve been a one-day story into 11 days’ worth of national headlines. Among the organizations who covered it: Politico, The Atlantic, The Christian Science Monitor, The New York Times, Newsweek, Gawker and The National Review. Within a few hours of CNN’s piece, Hunter committed to a single debate on Oct. 15.

Lutz and Benoit weren’t completely satisfied—they were hoping for a debate prior to the mailing of absentee ballots— but the stunt had run its course.

We’re going to multiply the 11 days times the number of pounds Lutz and Benoit lost—17 and 16, respectively—so, they get 187 and 176 blossoms. Meanwhile, Hunter earns seven turds, one for each debate he turned down.

However, we’ll retract those turds if Hunter agrees to wrestle Lutz and Benoit while wearing a giant monster costume.