wiseolddude:People go there to show how different they are along with 60,000 others at a cost of hundreds of dollars. I can show people how different I am just by walking down the street for free.

I always tell people that the time in my life where I saw the most 'individuals' was when I was in the Navy. That's because when everyone looks the same, has the same haircut, wears the same clothes, and lives in the same place under the same conditions, you're forced to develop a personality: faking it and/or imitating others just doesn't do.

As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

Big- and small-name DJs spin sets powered by portable generators, the vibrating thump traveling across miles of cloudless sky. Cacophony is the cheerfully tolerated norm, but there's one sound that's frequently met with eye-rolling derision: the ring of a cellphone.

And so it comes clear to me that I shall become a DJ. And the tunes I spin will be the sound of an iPhone ring tone. For hours and hours.

I'll spin a super low frequency versions that rattle the desert floor, and ultra high frequency versions that only the young ones with no onions on their belts can hear. And trance versions that just repeat it over and over until they cry out in longing for the brown acid which has been reported to be bad.

And because I'm a DJ I shall be accepted, and because I play iPhone ring tones I shall be rejected, and the universe will tear itself apart.

ghare:nacho cheese sauce: MrHappyRotter: No plumbing? How do people bathe/shower? What about after poop clean-up? And sweating all day long. And, oh my god, I just puked a bit at the thought of what sex would be like with someone who hasn't bathed in days, has been sweating the whole time, and hasn't been able to properly clean the stink spots, which by this point have grown to encompass the whole body.

you forgot about the abundant dust. But otherwise sounds about right.

Somehow people managed to have sex in conditions just like that for about, well, since forever.

If I've learned anything from camping with young women, it's when you both stink, neither of you does :)

As someone who went last year, lemme tell you this article really misses the entire reality of the situation. Yes, there was cell service last year... proprietary cell service, transmitted over a home-made cell tower that routed calls over a VOIP and limited call time to a minute each dial. Oh, and dialing in was basically impossible. No data service at all, and the limited range of the cell service covered maybe a third of the camp area.

This is not a situation where you might be out in the open, empty desert (or at the temple) and suddenly hear someone's cell phone go off, ruining your vibe mannnnn. This is more like "f%$#, I just realized I forgot to tell my roommate where I left the insurance payment and I really need to tell him where it is."

NutWrench:Big- and small-name DJs spin sets powered by portable generators, the vibrating thump traveling across miles of cloudless sky.

THAT would bother me infinitely more that someone's cell phone going off.

If it's just one, yes. When you're there though it's more like 8-20 all at one time, 24 hours a day. It blends into a dull white noise that actually helps you get to sleep.

MrHappyRotter:No plumbing? How do people bathe/shower? What about after poop clean-up? And sweating all day long. And, oh my god, I just puked a bit at the thought of what sex would be like with someone who hasn't bathed in days, has been sweating the whole time, and hasn't been able to properly clean the stink spots, which by this point have grown to encompass the whole body.

People bring enough water to at least have sponge baths. I took one shower a day when I went using a flower pitcher and a dark-colored bucket to pre-heat the water in the sun. A lot of people bring Solar Showers, which is just a fancy way of saying "a big black bag with some tubing and a showerhead on the end". Still, it works.

profplump:Rip Dashrock: As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7.

As a kid-these-days I find it amusing how many old people aren't willing to share their lives with anyone who can't be within shouting distance. And how they have this constant need to talk out loud whenever they are together -- some things are better shared in text.

Communications technology is communications technology gramps. Just because the version you're most comfortable with doesn't work over long distances doesn't make it any more "natural" or important.

Actually...you look really farking retarded when you're constantly glued to your phone. Some things are only better in texts if you're an introvert who hates contact with the outside world. Lets get married via text, lets tell someone a loved one died via text! Lets just have sex via text and call it good!

You may think technology is just awesome, but trust me...you look retarded and pathetic being glued to your iphone all day.

Rip Dashrock:As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

No plumbing? How do people bathe/shower? What about after poop clean-up? And sweating all day long. And, oh my god, I just puked a bit at the thought of what sex would be like with someone who hasn't bathed in days, has been sweating the whole time, and hasn't been able to properly clean the stink spots, which by this point have grown to encompass the whole body.

specialkae:Dear friend and I talked about going to Burning Man 2012. When we found out what tickets cost (IFIRC, close to $250 for a carload for 2 adult peeps) plus the expense of tents, camping equipment, etc and we're both fair campers, we decided, hell no. Too expensive and I don't care if someone is handing out free acid/weed/ecstasy at the front gates. Too expensive to go and camp and roast alive in the desert for a few days.

Unless you've been, you can't really know what you're missing out on. It's not just camping in the desert. A whole goddamn city pops up for the span of a week, then disappears. A city where there's always lights and music and pyrotechnics, where there's always something to do, something new to experience, and where nearly everything can be gotten for free or simple trade. It's unlike anything else, and it's really worth experiencing once... provided you have the money and aren't afraid of the heat during the day.

Calling Burning Man "camping in the desert" is like calling a three hour marathon sex session with multiple partners "a bit of lovemaking". It may be technically accurate, but the words do not properly convey the scope of what is happening.

Inchoate:I've not been to Burning Man and don't know if I'll ever go, but several folks I know and respect have had wonderful times there.I went to a similarly themed but MUCH smaller event (moneyless economy, leave no trace, camping, ritual effigy-burning near the end) on a farm in New Jersey (Freeform). The other campers I went with were scientists who brought a DJ.Lots of revelry, creativity, and camaraderie. Everyone wore whatever they wanted (or didn't want). It was a very relaxing, enjoyable weekend and I met some fascinating people, not all of whom were whom you'd call "hippies" or the like. Don't knock it till you've tried it!

If you can stand the heat, the locals have started doing a free event called "The Fourth of JuPlaya" on (you guessed it) the week of the 4th of July. They can't build any of the amazing structures that Burning Man can (no permits), but since the Black Rock Desert is on BLM land it means anyone can camp there at any time, no camping permit required. You do have to keep the camps a bit further apart to not fall afoul of the restrictions on large settlements, but that just means its spread out over a 10 mile radius instead of a 2 mile. Not as many people mind you, but it's free.

Lenny_da_Hog:specialkae: //turn off your IPhones, dammit. We have seen enough BM photos already and know it's cool. Don't need you to blog about it, thanks

Besides, your smartphone camera is not going to do the place justice. There are hundreds of professional and enthusiast-level 35mm photographers out there who will capture all the cool stuff for you.

Grab a notebook and write down what you'll remember. Read it when home/sober. Tell your stories better.

I've not been to Burning Man and don't know if I'll ever go, but several folks I know and respect have had wonderful times there.I went to a similarly themed but MUCH smaller event (moneyless economy, leave no trace, camping, ritual effigy-burning near the end) on a farm in New Jersey (Freeform). The other campers I went with were scientists who brought a DJ.Lots of revelry, creativity, and camaraderie. Everyone wore whatever they wanted (or didn't want). It was a very relaxing, enjoyable weekend and I met some fascinating people, not all of whom were whom you'd call "hippies" or the like. Don't knock it till you've tried it!

fusillade762:I want to start a competing festival called Defenestration Man where the event culminates with everyone being thrown out of a window.

Man, if there are trampolines, count me in!

I've never done Burning Man, but lots of friends from all over the spectrum have gone and loved it - all employed, most are scientists or extreme sports professionals (dudes get paid for doing crazy things way too fast in snow, I'm impressed), a few folks who've turned the whole 'Trustafarian' thing on its head and do a WHOLE lot of good in the state, a few cheerful stinky poor-ass hippies, etc.

It'd drive me nuts to be around so many people for so long, but I love their stories. For every half-assed homemade hula hoop that gets traded, there's a Tesla Coil or rockin' party. Carry on, Burning Man.

Emo Jeezus:Rip Dashrock: As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

True, it's overdone, but...some people have jobs they need to stay in contact with, even Burning Manners. It ain't the family farm and 9 to 5 anymore.

Nobody is so important that they can't be out of contact for a few days, they only THINK they are.

Burning Man has the potential to be really interesting, but I get the feeling that it would be horrible due to everyone trying to out attention whore everyone else.

Probably a lot of people screaming "Woooooooooo!!!!!" at the top of their lungs for no reason. When did that start? When I was young if you went around screaming "Wooooooooo!" for no reason, they would lock your ass up.

I think that would just give me a headache.

/ And the smell.....I imagine it's worse than the monkey house at the zoo.....// I sound old

Rip Dashrock:As an old fart, I find it amusing how many people have a cell phone glued to their ear 24/7. And, they all look like they are passing on vital info on exactly where the bomb is planted, when in reality, most conversations are a variation of "what are you doing? Nothing, what are you doing?"God forbid some virus shuts down the wireless transmission network for a day or two, suicide prevention landlines would probably redline.

Actually, those who would be most hurt by the proposed scenario likely don't have a landline.