Reasons why I probably don’t like you

June 16, 2017

I’m a self-proclaimed misanthrope. I covet solitude for the most part and I can go weeks without really getting the urge to have one-on-one time with another human being. This is partly because I live with a person and I get enough time there, partly because as the years have gone past most of the things that I sought after in other human beings I mostly found in myself, and partly because I have been hurt so many times and so frequently by others that on a base level it’s generally not an enjoyable experience for me. This isn’t something that should engender pity in anyone – it’s just the way it is.

Yet over the years I have found people who’s company I genuinely enjoy. People that I consider friends. I don’t hate human beings as a whole. For one, I am one. And I know that I can have experiences that I find fun or meaningful. Yet chances are if I meet a random person on the street, there’s a 90% chance I won’t like you them.

So why is that? And keep in mind if you are doing any of these things, I’m not telling you to stop. It’s just personally what I don’t like having around me. And I wasn’t sure what to write today for my scheduled blog post, so here’s what you get.

So why do I probably not like you?

You don’t respect my choices. (Don’t have to respect the -thing-, just my ability to choose it)

You make disparaging comments about my appearance, behavior, or personality

You try to pressure me into doing things I don’t want to do

A majority of your personality is contingent on you wanting to impress other people

You make fun of me if I say anything you don’t understand

You have a hard time understanding that some people think differently than you do

You talk exclusively about yourself and don’t ask me any questions

You try to force intimacy and trust instead of letting it develop in me at my own pace

You’re overly negative or have a generally pessimistic attitude about life

You don’t take responsibility for anything

You tell me you like my writing, but then interrupt me constantly while I’m actually working

You tell me I’m weird or awkward to try to either put me down, test my limits, or feel better about your own behavior

If you’re a man, you neg me

If you’re a man, you treat me like less than a human being. Either by putting me down, or elevating me above humanity.

You tell me my problems don’t exist

You constantly treat me like I have to prove myself to you

You make assumptions about my behavior, and it generally has something to do with how I’m hurting you somehow

Okay, so now that I’ve got that out of the way, what do I like in other human beings?

You have genuine interest and passion in something

You’re generally positive, and don’t feel the need to hurt people to make yourself feel better

You’re an individual, unique. I’m interested in people that are unlike anyone I’ve met before.

You respect other people and their choices because you’re firm in your understanding of yourself

You have some amount of self-awareness

You’re interested in the world around you, and ask questions

You’re not perfect, but you recognize that

You have a certain something inside of you. A spark.

Your eyes aren’t dead

You display genuine intelligence and understanding

You’ve been hurt badly but you don’t use that as an excuse to hurt other people.