Painful photo? YES as the pain of regret IS very painful. Everything I have learned from BEING a parent and everything I have learned from the messages of apology that come through from loved one’s in eternal life to their children still living has taught me: there is no such thing as a perfect parent. And there is no such thing as a perfect human being. At least I have never met such a unique creature. ( In fact those parading around as perfect spiritual guru’s frighten me the most.)

SOOOOOOOO, should we stop TRYING because we can’t be perfect? If you say “yes” to that – it is the same as being on a healthy diet, having something not so healthy to eat and then deciding all is lost so you might as well food binge for the next month.

FACE THE PAIN OF REGRET: Think about that ONE DAY that changed your whole life, at least it seemed like it did. You made a mistake. If only you could take that day back. The movie of that day plays over and over in your mind, year after year. This was a day you made a mistake as a parent. There may have been other mistakes on other days, but this one day looms large on the horizon of your visions of the mistakes you made.

Do those mistakes matter now? Of course they matter now, but if you have faced your mistakes, have become a more balanced person, apologized for your mistakes, then it is high time that you FORGIVE YOURSELF even if you are not forgiven by others.

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND PERHAPS YOU WILL BEGIN TO FORGIVE YOUR OWN PARENTS

Were your parents perfect? Most likely not. Did they make mistakes that you have never forgiven them for in your heart. (It goes without saying that if you have been brutally abused you may not be able to forgive.) But for the better part of us who had parents that ranged from close to perfect to emotionally abusive due to untreated mental illness or personality disorders: we have parents who loved us but who make mistakes that changed our lives in the same way that our mistakes changed the lives of our children. It is amazing how we begin to understand and forgive the mistakes of our parents as we begin to understand our own mistakes AS parents.

As a medium I can tell many stories about the loved ones who come through in readings with very specific apologies to their living children. And as these loved ones in spirit are able to apologize it appears to me that they are able to move on in the never ending spiritual growth in Eternal Life.

YOU reading this, are still living and so you have the opportunity to apologize NOW. You have the chance to forgive yourself NOW.

FORGIVE YOURSELF AND PERHAPS YOU WILL BEGIN TO FORGIVE YOUR CHILDREN

If you have children who have reached adulthood, have they been perfect children? Have they always treated you and other members of the family well? Most likely they have not as they are human beings like the rest of us and they are not perfect. As you forgive yourself for not being perfect, you may begin to forgive not only your parents, but your children.

And if your grown children are parents, most likely they will not become perfect parents as they are human beings and there are no perfect human beings.

I DISAGREE WITH MANY OF MY COLLEAGUES WHO BELIEVE EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

There are colleagues in my field who believe that every thing we do, we do for the reason of learning, and everything that happens is meant to happen. I am not able to go along with that idea, and from my perspective there is absolutely no way to prove that concept. When someone is brutally abused I cannot accept that this was “meant to be.”

What I do accept is that we do not have control over all that happens in life. What we have more control over is how we respond to what happens. And if we have behaved badly it was not written someplace in eternity that we were meant to behave badly. We must face our actions, cope with our regret, change our behaviors, and eventually forgive ourselves. And if others have hurt us, depending on the severity of the circumstances, we need to find our way to forgiveness as much as we possibly can.

Let us focus on forgiving ourselves, and forgiving others. And while facing the regret, also focus on facing the reality that no one is perfect: I am not perfect, you are not perfect, they are not perfect. No one is perfect. Accepting our imperfect reality brings HEALING.

DEAR READERS: This post cannot possibly contain all of the many stories about different kinds of mistakes: mistakes we have made ourselves and the many ways we have suffered from the mistakes made by others. Not even a whole book could include all of the mistakes human beings make. The topic of mistakes can be overwhelming, but we can make a start by accepting who we are as human beings and work to become better people making less mistakes.

A real bond of love between one person and another carries love within it. It is an energetic bond that one cannot see with the physical eyes, but can clearly see with the spiritual eyes: the eyes of the soul. Imagine an energetic chord flowing from one person to another that carries the vibrations of love, caring and acceptance. A ~Bond of Love~ is not a rope that binds. It is not twine that ties down the hands, feet, mind, heart and soul. When one captures another with a rope that ties one down, then instead of love flowing through from one person to another we see the vibrations of control, manipulation, envy, jealousy. If we could translate these vibrations into thought they would be “You will live your life as I want you to live it, you will not have more than me as I want to be the most powerful.” These thoughts express bonds of control.

In a family, when we have true bonds of love between members of the family, they want to be with each other. They can’t wait to come together for a family gathering. They truly love each other, because there is an atmosphere of acceptance within the family. Real bonds of love flow between all members of the family as they appreciate each other. This does not mean that parents should not set standards for their children. This does not mean that family values and traditions are not respected. But in the opinion of this author, there can only be true bonds of love when members of the family who may be a bit different than the heads of the family, are accepted with their differences. When there is acceptance, there is true love.

Families who do not accept each other still get together and there are still family bonds that tie them together. But these are not bonds of love. These are ropes of control.

Let us pray that we can understand and appreciate each person in the family for his or her individuality and originality. Then love flows like a river of beauty, and wraps around each one of us like a spiritual cloud of bliss.

About...

Carole Lynne is a psychic medium, author and minister interested in the spiritual evolution of the soul. Ms. Lynne offers private and group readings, and volunteers for many Spiritualist churches. Learn more at www.carolelynne.com