I Did It For Alfie
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Rejoice, just rejoice at that news
This girl has got the midlife blues
She lost her favourite marble again
It rolled down the nearest drain

A swing to the right and she's under attack
Much-sought-after property, completely detached
Plunging at the neck and daring at the back
And everybody says she looks better like that

Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that

Rejoice, just rejoice at that news
This girl was split completely in two
Trevor, knock me down with a feather
In the United Kingdom of Whatever

With a clean-cut center parting and a bloodrush to the head
"You won't get any older, dear," is what the stylist said
It's elegant bold and striking, she'll never need a hat
And everybody says she looks better like that

Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that
Everybody says she looks better like that

Alfie, I did it for Alfie
Alfie, I did it for Alfie
Alfie, I did it for Alfie