Monday, 5 June 2017

Real Life Happens

Is it just me? Seriously, like – let me rant, and please,
share your thoughts – but I seriously wonder what is wrong with people.

I’m a pretty public person – I have a webpage, Tumblr, Twitter,
Facebook and a myriad of other sites I have a profile on, many of which cater
to some very specific fetishes and interests. Those interests and fetishes make
up who I am – I don’t indulge in them all day every day, but when I have the
opportunity, I love to explore them and have fun, with the end goal being a
(hopefully) earthshattering orgasm, after which I am sated until the next
opportunity or wave of horniness takes over. I get that – I think everyone does
(or should),

But here is the crux. 24/7/365 – real life happens. This
means – I have a job 40 hours a week, and I have a home life, where I have
complicated relationships with no fewer than 3 other people in my house on a
daily basis. Polyamorous relationships are complex and take a lot of effort every
day. And It’s not all a big orgy or sex from the minute I get home until I
return to work, only for the cycle to be repeated again.

There are REAL LIFE things – you know – laundry, dinner,
dishes, cleaning, vacuuming and errands like grocery shopping and so on. Add to
that events we attend and things we plan and time with friends and family, plus
4 very different schedules, and you start to realise that earth-shattering sex doesn’t
happen very often.

So then – why is it that men who approach me on any one of
the sites I frequent seem to think I can just, at the drop of a hat, drop
everything and race off to play, or fuck or whatever. It is simply NOT that
simple. Real Life happens – and that
includes being unavailable to come and shove my dick inside of them.

Recently, a guy who I have had a few minor chats with got
all pissy and said “well when you want to fuck, let me know” – well I always
want to fuck (well almost) but the practicality is this – As head of my
house-hold, I need to fulfil my obligations as such, ensure dinner is prepped
and 4 schedules are synced, and the house doesn’t grind to a halt. I have to be
rested and ready for work, as do my partners, and I have to get downtime for
that to happen.

I have also never been the kind of guy who likes anonymous sex
or the back room type sex or the “quickie” in a motel room nor the
one-night-stand kind of sex. I don’t do hook-ups for casual sex. I have trust
issues, I admit. And maybe it was because I came out so late, but I like to
know the person I am playing with. I like to have built a rapport and trust
with them before I play. I need that to be able to relax and enjoy myself and
not sit there worrying if the guy on the other side of the play session is some
kind of psycho.

Most often, I play with people after having met for coffee
or in some other social environment, where I get to know them somewhat and am
able to get an actual vibe from them. The internet is great and all, but you
can’t always judge someone by what they say online, a face to face meeting is
better for getting to know and trust them. But that bring up the other issue:
The internet itself.

Real life Happens – and, for all intents and purposes, the
Internet is not real life. That is not to say that real people aren’t out there
and that it is an awesome way to chat and get to know people, it is.

But it is
a thing behind which people can hide themselves. We only present certain
aspects of ourselves, especially when courting someone. We don’t have to be
100% open or honest, we can present ourselves as we would like to be, instead
of as we are. That is not to say that everyone out there is dishonest, but this
is not the point of this blog, and is perhaps a topic for another day. The way
the internet works its way into this blog is this: Just because you chat with
someone on occasion - or frequently - online does not mean they are there
24/7/365.

I try and limit my online time when my family is home. I
prefer to spend time online when I am alone or in need of that ‘physical space’-type
alone time. Trying to meet the “demands” of some guy on the far side of the
country, continent or planet is not always physically possible because real
life happens around my online life. I have gotten attitude from people in the
past where my responses are slow because I am distracted by someone who is
actually in my physical vicinity. Sorry, but people around me take precedence.
Always. Every time.

And that isn’t going to change. After all, real life
happens. At least to me.

1 comment:

I get that as well just because my twitter tumblr instagram and youtube has fetish fantasy and questionable play people think i am that 24/7 im not and sadly they judve me on my kinks etc so i get what You are saying Sir Johnny. Now as far as pup calling You Sir Johnny its a sign of respect not a cue to breed me i value our friendship first so be whoever You want just be You as You have always been pup gauntlet aka phillip bozarth's friend