Broadway legend (and a New Yorker I’d be terrified to encounter in public) Patti LuPone appeared on Watch What Happens Live! Tuesday night, and fielded a question about Madonna’s, uh, interpretation, of her iconic role in Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Evita.

The musical, for which LuPone won a Tony, was adapted into a successful film in 1996. But even though Madonna won a Golden Globe for her performance, LuPone (who admits she’s never watched the full movie) wasn’t impressed.

In the musical, the character of Eva Peron famously sings, “It won’t be easy, you’ll think it strange, when I try to explain how I feel.” This is a problem Ms. LuPone has never had. Here’s her full quote in all its glory:

“I thought it [the scene I saw] was a piece of shit. Madonna is a movie killer. She’s dead behind the eyes. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag. She should not be on film or on stage. She’s a wonderful, you know, performer for what she does, but she is not an actress. Bing.”

LuPone also reveals that the only thing Madonna has “ever” said to her was, “I’m taller than you.”

“Phaedra tried to blame producers for manipulating the scenario, and it was cut from the reunion show. They’re not allowed to break the ‘fourth wall’ and talk about production. It may not have been entirely Phaedra’s fault, but she has to take the fall.”

Busy Philipps and her family went on a Disney cruise and it was NOT spon, which she made perfectly clear by using the hashtag #IPaidForThis. Look at the photos, watch her stories, and say a prayer that there isn’t a norovirus outbreak.

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I love these photos of Brad Pitt’s new motorcycle tattoo peeking out from under his shirt. [Us Weekly]

The image of Gisele Bündchen meditating in the back of an NYC taxi is strangely comforting. [Page Six]

This is such a smart and obvious choice even though this show should not exist. [TMZ]