Here is a list of ideas that SHOULD NOT BE IMPLEMENTED to refresh the Thanksgiving Holiday:

Forget roasting a whole turkey…make a butter sculpture of a turkey the centerpiece of your thanksgiving dinner. Butter goes with everything: bread, vegetables, stuffing, corn, potatoes. What more could you ask for. Just carve slices off and serve them up.

Recreation of the first thanksgiving, complete with Pilgrims as Bioterrorist insurgents.

Thanksgiving Carolling: A variety of new songs await composition:

Gather Round the Ol’ Football Game

Thomas the Tottering Turkey

On Thanksgiving Day (We’ll Eat ’til We Barf)

The Family Gathers for Thanksgiving Day (and no blood was shed)

I’ll Be Home for Thanksgiving (Assuming I’m not stranded at O’Hare)

Ask each person at the table to name 1 reason they are thankful they are not the person to their left.

Asking teenagers to name 1 reason they are thankful.

Hiding thanksgiving eggs filled with stuffing around the house for the children to find.

This list is a starting point, but I’m pretty sure you all can help us avoid future disasters by suggesting your own additions in the comments.