You Can’t Be Afraid to Lose In a Loving FLR

Just like any relationship, establishing a Loving Female Led Relationship comes with a certain risk that many are afraid to take. The risk factor isn’t particularly higher in this type of relationship, it’s just more pronounced since the essence of a Loving FLR includes the man admitting that he is involved in a relationship where his desires are less important.

The biggest fear that people admit to me during the Loving FLR Coaching Programs are a fear of loss during the relationship. Men fear that if they give everything to a woman they will lose the respect of the woman. Women fear that they will make a wrong decision during the relationship and they will lose the respect of their partners.

Men Fear Losing Respect For Being Too Giving

It is true that when a man involves himself in a Loving FLR he is taking the risk that she will have an experience that she has never had before with a man. She will interact with a man who is vulnerable, emotional and dedicated to her happiness in a way that most women can’t imagine. When a man shows this side of himself to a woman he does risk losing her respect, but, only a sadomasochistic woman would lose respect for a man who is devoted to her happiness and expresses his vulnerability. Only a woman who likes inflicting emotional pain would laugh at or disrespect a man who openly shares his love and devotion for her. A man should always be able to express how he feels, including his fears without being seen as weak.

When a man engages in a Loving FLR he leaves the progress of the relationship to the woman’s desire. She may not desire to move the relationship along at a pace that is satisfying to him. He must learn to wait. She may not desire to move the relationship along a direction that is pleasing to him. She may even decide that she no longer wants a relationship with him. He must learn to agree. Following the lead of the woman openly can be frustrating but if he truly wants a Loving FLR then he must agree that her desires are the benchmarks for the progress of the relationship and he has to accept her desires whether he feels he is winning or losing.

If she chooses another partner, desires to move to a new city, wants to take a break from sexual intimacy or decides she does not want children, he cannot become angry. He has asked her to express her wishes and she complied. He must accept her wishes even if it means that things are not moving at his pace or according to his desires. He must also accept that at any point he could lose her to someone else. If this relationship is about what she wants and she wants things he does not want, he still has to accept and respect her wishes or decide that he will leave the relationship. At no point should he be angry with her for not aligning with his desires or appreciating what he has to offer.

Women Fear Losing Respect For Not Making The Right Decision

When a woman engages in a Loving FLR she may fear that she is not capable of making a wise decision and she will lose the respect of her partner. She then becomes hesitant to make any decision at all, which frustrates the Gentleman she is with because the crux of a Loving FLR is her ability to make decisions and lead the relationship.

A woman should not fear making the wrong decision for the relationship because she has a capable partner by her side who will be there to advise and support her decisions regardless of the outcome. Life is not a test. There is no pass or fail. A wise woman can make a decision and face the consequences knowing that she made her decision with the best of intentions and nothing life offers her as a result can permanently damage her progress. She can pick herself up. She can turn things around. She can learn from the situation and become better because of it.

Men don’t expect a woman in a Loving FLR to be perfect; men expect a woman in a Loving FLR to be confident. As long as a woman in a Loving FLR can confidently make a decision and express her wishes, a Gentleman should never lose respect for her. He is her biggest supporter; he is not her critic or judge.

If for some reason the result of her decisions create certain hardships for the family and the Gentleman she has partnered with decides that he no longer trusts her ability to make wise decisions, so be it. If he can do it better then let him do it. If he can find another woman to follow then let him go find her.

The true key to living life with confidence is knowing that you are doing your absolute best and if someone else doesn’t appreciate it they can go straight to hell.

If you know you are offering your very best love, your very best wisdom, your very best support or guidance- and the person who is receiving it decides to walk away, don’t ever try to win back their love. You should never have to convince someone to take something valuable. If someone does not appreciate your very best offering, they are not worthy to continue to receive it.

Be willing to give your best and be willing to lose. You’re not losing your relationship; you are losing a partner who was not deserving of you anyway.

Be willing to lose. In the end, you get to shine as brightly as you were designed to shine in service or leadership. AND- you get to weed out those who were never meant to stand beside you and attract someone who will truly appreciate the chance to bask in the honor of your love.