stuff that i have learned from the last few births:

people get really excited during the pushing time. the voices get louder and more insistent and urgent. and it is all about pushing three times during each contraction. but i saw a baby come out with a broken collarbone, the shoulder was stuck during the pushing. and so rather than focusing on pushing we can focus on opening. creating conditions that make opening ripe.

and we can create the conditions around the birthing space and within the space that allow women to have the courage to step toward the pain. for a long time i have disavowed the word courageous. i remember being at a small press fair fundraising to go to palestine and one young man said i had courage. but i didnt feel like a superhero. actually in preparing to go to palestine i felt quite the opposite. but now i see that we all have courage and it is not about being a superhero (or supervillain) rather it is an intimate knowledge with our own strengths and vulnerabilities. and it is this quality of knowledge that we must hold the space for women to discover themselves. the space and the time.

and some people are going to resent the very presence of the doula. feel as if her presence is testimony to their own weakness and inability to handle the birth. and we can guide witnesses toward labor support. it is the simple small gestures that matter in labor support.