Rise Of The Machines

What a day for robots. First we hear that London Aquarium has acquired three mechanical fish (sure to be dubbed Robocod), then we see the stories about automaton velociraptors all set to dominate the Christmas sales. (We want one, we want one, WE WANT ONE!)

It’s amazing how beautiful and graceful their movements are - they’re going to be incredibly popular with our visitors,

says London Aquarium director Foster Archer, whose sent mail must be decimated by spam filters checking for those hilariously made-up Cialis-commending names.

Meanwhile, les velociraptor robotique, or ‘roboraptors’, if we can stop being needlessly pretentious for just a few moments, thank you, are on sale in all good department stores. Watch the commercial here, and feel the icy talons of Mammon scratch away at your last reserves of willpower. Buy me, buy me!