Tonight on RAW: WWE keeps on rumbling, bumbling, and stumbling towards September's No Mercy PPV, with the primary focus on John
Cena's fresh agenda, now that he's back on RAW....

We already know that WWEU Champion Brock Lesnar will defend his strap against Braun Strowman in the PPV's main event, but this is another of
Brock's myriad off-weeks, so Strowman will be limited to some other random act of violence...

However, Cena is expected to face Roman Reigns at the PPV, in the Ultimate Battle of Mixed Reactions... that seed was planted last week, as Cena and
Reigns were unwilling partners in a tag match main event (after the two had previously registered their dislike of each other)... somehow getting from
"partners of convenience" to "full blown enemies" will be Job #1 tonight...

It also sounds like WWE is set on Cena vs. Samoa Joe as tonight's main event... Joe and Reigns have their own viable side issue (Joe has owned
Reigns in all one-on-one matches since coming up to the main roster), so the sad but true tale is that Cena/Joe likely ends with quite the messy
kurfuffle... [for those unaware, Cena and Joe trained together in UPW when both were just starting out, working together often, with Cena crediting
Joe in helping him improve and learn a lot; in a way, this is a bit of a Dream Match]

Also purportedly on tap for tonight: an IC Title #1 Contender Battle Royale for the PPV shot at Miz's belt... current storylines would point to
Jason Jordan being next on Miz's plate, but having Jordan earn a title shot, rather than having his GM Daddy just give it to him, probably makes
for a better story.... either that, or they are re-evaluating what to do with Jordan, who hasn't exactly set the world on fire since the big
revelation; thus, the random Battle Royale to pluck a different challenger out of thin air (Finn Balor?)...

On top of all that, we also have a huge Women's Title Match that we've known about ever since last week... new champ Sasha Banks is
granting Alexa Bliss her rematch; Banks offered to do it last week, immediately after SummerSlam, but Bliss did what heels do, and chickenshitted her
way out of it... however, that match is on for tonight... I, for one, would not be surprised if Bliss regained her title, as part of the larger story
(which would seem to point towards Banks and Nia Jax executing a double switch at some point down the line)....

The rest of the gold: Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins are riding high as new tag champs (including a bonus win over the Hardys last Monday), but at some
point Sheamus and Cesaro are gonna come calling about their rematch.... and with Enzo Amore's arrival in the Cruiserweight Division, he
essentially becomes #1 Contender to Neville's title, via anvil....

That's most of your PPV-caliber material there... WWE will also be looking for fresh material for guys like the afforementioned Balor, Bray
Wyatt, Big Cass, Big Show, the Hardys, and the Good Brothers, since they all can't just keep on milking the he-goat with their pre-existing
dance partner(s)... all that, plus Goldust doing.... whatever it is that Goldust is doing...

Oh, and a whole night of Jerry Lawler on commentary, because Houston Mayoral Candidate Booker T is staying at home this week, for the obvious
reasons...

That is all. End communication.

The flOOr is yours, OO Nation. Don't wait till after 11pm to post, either. Pre-show previewing and prognosticating is certainly welcome.
So discuss, debate, and rate!

Is Enzo double-shifting on both RAW and 205? Much like Homer's premature tombstone on The Simpsons indicated, if Enzo is no longer on RAW then
we are that much richer for having lost him.

You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

I'm honestly kind of wanting Enzo to stick around on RAM too. Which technically there's nothing stopping him from being utilized in the
bare bones cruiserweight segments, but more actually used. Partially because I feel like it could lead to some fun "hey, you're being an
asshole, now get kicked around the ring by someone for a few minutes" things. Or he'll be gone and I won't noticed the difference. Eh.

You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

janerd75

The Immortal One

Posts 4130
Registered 1-28-2013Member Is Offline

Mood: #MOOGA

posted on 8-29-2017 at 01:04 AM

quote:Originally posted by Paddlefoot
Is Enzo double-shitting on both RAW and 205?

Also, I'll take a wild guess and say Kurt Angle Jr. wins this, since he's on that fast track to maybe getting the audience to perk up a
small amount.

And why are Curt Hawkins and Kalisto still around? I'm not saying they're a waste of space, but to date Hawkins has only served to show
up, maybe talk for a few seconds, and then get his ass kicked. Kalisto could probably do pretty well if they gave him a Rey-type run and let him get
all flippy in some meaningful feuds, but instead they seem content with having him get the occasional fluke win before being beaten and forgotten
until the next fluke win and/or beating. Also, why am I questioning the mismanagement of segments of the WWE roster.

You did it, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack.

janerd75

The Immortal One

Posts 4130
Registered 1-28-2013Member Is Offline

Mood: #MOOGA

posted on 8-29-2017 at 01:17 AM

Good guess, but wrong zip code. I was slyly referring to my Chutney valve.

ETA: Boy, even without gifs this thread's already going to be quite confusing to those showing up late.

ETA2: Where does Goldust stand as far as longest active wrasslers that are still mostly functional and not sucky go?

You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

Eh, I'll apologize. But I suspect nothing I said or didn't say would've prevented the continuing Enzocalypse.

But I feel like this could result in a nice time to slowly turn Enzo heel by having him be way too proud of his "win" over Cass to the point of
being obnoxious (well, in a heelish way), and by the time Cass comes back he can be actually sorry about turning on his former friend, BUT OH NO now
Enzo's a jerk. Plus Enzo could be beaten up more.

Shall we forgive Noam Dar if he goes all Sexy Star and mistakes Enzo for Rosemary? Why yes. Yes, we shall.

You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

LoveMuscle

And I am AWESOME

Posts 208
Registered 6-28-2007Member Is Offline

Mood: stiff

posted on 8-29-2017 at 01:50 AM

I'm just happy that a Noam Dar appearance didn't result in Alicia Fox being on my TV.

janerd75

The Immortal One

Posts 4130
Registered 1-28-2013Member Is Offline

Mood: #MOOGA

posted on 8-29-2017 at 01:54 AM

That Neville fella sure is a scary bloke. I wonder what his GoT character name would be? Like, Rager Longnose or somesuch?

Trying to find the hyper-sarcastic Sideshow Bob comment about "that tripe doesn't make me want to vomit at all" for use in relation to the
Enzo win. Then I realized that this is no way to spend precious time and brain cells, not on a chud like Enzo.

You know, everyone says it's not supposed to make sense, like that's the whole point, dude. And I'm just saying, you know,
that's like an excuse for lazy storytelling. Just don't sell me shite and tell me it's gold, all right? I might be stoned, but
I'm not high. You know what I mean?
- Cassidy from Preacher, commenting on The Big Lebowski and/or professional wrestling

bigfatgoalie

The Man

Posts 6562
Registered 1-16-2002Location StratusphereMember Is Offline

Mood: Stratusfied

posted on 8-29-2017 at 02:07 AM

An audible gasp from the crowd for Brock cutting off Heyman. There very few acts in wrestling that are as special as Brock and Paul.

Count Zero

The Rowdy One

Posts 2375
Registered 1-29-2013Location Canada EastMember Is Offline

Mood: fugazi

posted on 8-29-2017 at 02:53 AM

I'm tired. I have nothing useful to add. :-/ Have some cookies.

janerd75

The Immortal One

Posts 4130
Registered 1-28-2013Member Is Offline

Mood: #MOOGA

posted on 8-29-2017 at 03:00 AM

RAM shot its wad up front and now it's second wind time. Thank goodness there's a contract signing betwixt Cena and ReBOOOOO to pep us all
up. Good luck polishing this turd, Johnboy. Maybe toss some glitter on it so at least it'll sparkle.

And thus begins Cena's greatest story of all time, as he wrestles matches in order to obtain the pieces of a time machine that he can put
together so he can go back in time and beat Undertaker at WrestleMania before Roman can.