Shots Miami Invites You to Drink Anthrax With a Sex Toy (Photos)

When Shots Miami postponed its coming-soon party because of that pesky Tropical Storm Debby, I was kind of heartbroken. After all, I really wanted to experience this bar where you're made to dress in character or perform an action while downing neon-colored shots -- especially since the bar seemed to polarize so much of Miami. In the comments section of my original post, there was a complete love-it-or-hate-it attitude. Wynwoodian123, for example, wrote this:

I don't personally don't think this is up to par with Wynwood's up and

coming chick, hip, artsy theme. I also don't think I would like to share

a dirty cape or boa for $6. There much better places in wynwood to have

a drink and have fun with friends without acting like you're 17

drinking with some friends in a basement hiding from their parents,

doing pretty dumb things... [sic]

On the other end of the spectrum, domi1109 wrote:

I think this is brilliant and creative! I definitely will be stopping by

tomorrow to check this out! Sounds like a good time. The last thing

your [sic] worried about when your [sic] having a good time is if the cape is dirty. lol.

Do you remember the freak shows at carnivals? Whenever they would advertise a two-headed snake or the world's smallest woman, I'd have to plunk down my quarter to see for myself. So it was only natural that I checked out Shots Miami. It wasn't too difficult to get a group of gals together with the promise of "shots, funny costumes, and a lot of Facebook-worthy pictures."

Here's what I learned:

1. There are some kinks to be worked out. Some of the bartenders/shot girls didn't really know what went into the shots or what action or costume was supposed to go with which shot.

2. Go with an open mind -- and at least one friend who's up for anything. Some of the shots involve canoodling with blow-up sex dolls, drinking from faux boobs or penises, and dancing with a skeleton. Leave your uptight selves at the door, please -- this is not the place for it.

3. Order the flaming shots. Before you down the shot, the bartender sprays overproof rum all over the metal bar with a supersoaker and then lights the entire mother up! Plus, the Anthrax and Chipotle were two of the better-tasting shots. The Chipotle has a hint of jalapeño and rum, while the Anthrax is made with blue Curaçao, gin, and some white powdered

substance.

4. That's a real sword, so be careful when ordering the Flaming Samurai. You could poke out an eye with that thing. Note to management: You might want to replace it with a fake saber. Just saying.

Have to experience it to write about it.....

5. This place will make a load of money off birthday celebrations and bachelorette parties. For some reason, women think it's a hoot to dress up in silly hats and pose with blow-up sex dolls. Which means savvy single straight men will also give this bar a try. Who knows? Maybe they'll learn the pleasure of getting bonked on the head with a toy mallet while screaming "I'm alive!" before downing a dose of liquid party.

In conclusion: Lighten up, Miami. This is just plain fun!

As Tom Cruise said in the movie Cocktail (back when he was cuter and less crazy): "Why don't you just have a shot! Bar's open!"

He's cut off.

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times, has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.