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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

And so it hit me.

I was asked to write and perform a skit for this years Women's Ministry Outreach Christmas Luncheon. I was incredibly honored and up for the task. The theme of the luncheon is "Open the Gift", a sequal to last years (which I missed), "The Gift." The speaker gave me a journal she was using to direct her topic. It was a journal she had put together about gifts she had discovered in her daily life. Something as simple as "the gift of smell" or as heart warming as "the gift of being told you're beautiful, even when you know you're not."

As I was reading the journals trying to get inspired for my skit, I couldn't seem to put together anything. I even tried to turn her own journal entry into a skit. But it just didn't seem right. So I went back to the first page of her journal which was an introduction to what Gifts could look like. She shared a story of how her sister ran out of boxes one Christmas so she wrapped her granddaughters gift in a box that normally held bags. When her granddaughter opened the gift she said "I didn't ask for bags." She then had to encourage her granddaughter to open the box up to see what was actually inside.

And so it hit me. That was it. I knew exactly what I had to write about.

It had been quite some time since I had truly sat and thought about all that had happened between me and God during our Miscarriage. I've had plenty of time and moments to share the story with people, but it was so numbing that I never looked deep into the pain I had felt; The pain far beyond what I had experienced physically. I didn't want to open up too much to a bunch of women who are expecting a fun christmas luncheon, but I knew I had to give some truth to what probably 90% of the women in that building would have gone through. So this skit isn't my exact story, but my story inspired this skit. Hope you enjoy it.

The Unopened GiftA Monologue byJhen Stark

[Girl enters and sits center stage with wrapped gift in lap. Begins to talk to audience] I received a gift from God this Christmas. It was the most beautifully wrapped gift I had ever seen. The wrapping had a beautiful pattern and the bow was tied so perfect. You know how sometimes when you try to tie the bow, it doesn’t seem to form right or the wrong side of the ribbon shows? You know, not that silky side, but that matt flat side? Well not this gift. It was absolutely perfect.

I had a feeling I knew what it was. I spent my whole life telling God what I wanted, so I was certain it was a baby! As the excitement welled up inside me, I tore open the wrapping [tears apart the wrapping] and discovered a box; [Reads label on box] Miscarriage. This wasn’t what I wanted. I looked at God and said, “I didn’t ask for this! Why would you give this to me? It’s not fair! Sally got what she wanted; a beautiful baby girl. And Bob, he didn’t want his gift, but he’s a dad! It's not fair! Miscarriage.”

I was angry! So I decided to set my box aside [sets box on table] and wallow in self-pity. Never open it. I just couldn’t fathom.

[Gets up and begins to pace the stage back and forth] Days had gone by. Then days turned into weeks. New Years had come and gone, and that box was just sitting there. I had become bitter and bitter by the moment and I couldn’t handle it anymore. [Sits down and takes box back on lap] So I figured if I just opened it, saw what was inside, I could get over it. Move on. Act like I never received it. So I opened it.

More boxes. I pulled the first one out completely unsure of what it could possibly be. Comfort [reads scripture on box] Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Hmm.

Then I pulled out the next one. Strength [reads scripture] Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my right hand.”

The third box was a little bigger than the other two. Joy. John 16:20 “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.”

And finally, the fourth box; hope. Psalm 62:5-6 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation. He is my fortress. I will not be shaken.”

At the bottom of the box were letters I had written God since I was a little girl, asking him each Christmas for things I wanted. So I opened the first letter. My hand writing was horrible but I could still read it [reads letter] Dear God, I only want YOU for Christmas. Love Jenny [Pauses]. At the bottom of the letter was a note from God. Dear Jenny, here is your gift only a few years later. Love God.

Psalms 37:4 says, “Delight yourselves in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

2 comments:

Jhen, I watched the video your mom put up on facebook. It was truly amazing! A real tear jerker and how I really felt like that. When you put in into perspective it really hit me and made me think how lucky I am to have God in my life and that He will bless us in His timing.