While many non-profits have been reaching out to teenagers both gay and straight to educate them about abusive dating relationships, the message is not one most teenagers will hear in school.

Schools in Fremont, Oakland and San Francisco are among the few that require high school students be taught about the warning signs of abusive relationships.

Three times, state legislators have voted down bills mandating that all school districts teach teenagers about what anti-domestic violence advocates say has become a growing epidemic among young people.

While there are many resources on the Internet, advocates urge parents and friends to be alert for behavior indicative of abuse.

“You shouldn’t ever rush into relationships. You should get to know who you’re dating before you date them, maybe the person’s relationship history. It’s really important to pay attention to red flags and warning signs,” said Mika Sasaki, a sophomore at City College of San Francisco.

Sasaki recounts her own story of having to get a restraining order against a boyfriend in talks to high school students about teen dating violence.

Verbal abuse, controlling behavior, constantly keeping tabs on a person’s whereabouts, and isolating a partner from friends or family are all things to watch for, she said.