Thursday, October 24, 2013

Rain Balloons

I can't remember exactly when this rainbow loom fad came to my attention, just that several months ago these stretchy bracelets started showing up on my girls' arms. They looked like a nicely woven mess of those colored rubber bands I used on my braces back in the 80s. I don't think those were getting much mileage on braces anymore, what with the invention of Invisalign and good common sense, so I assume whoever was storing those sold them to patient zero of this infectious loom disease.

I don't succumb to fads usually. I never once bought silly bandz, nor did I let my kids buy them. Yet, we ended up with dozens. Because my mom and most of my friends/friends' kids get into these kinds of things. And, by the way, where are all of these must-have silly bandz now? Wouldn't be caught dead in them? (cough, cough...told ya so.) I actually feel sorry for the silly bandz now, because they remind me of the salsa on the table after the queso arrives. (Rainbow loom bracelets are the queso in that analogy, in case you didn't follow. But, let the record show, I think queso is amazing and rainbow loom bracelets are silly.)

It might be more than I don't succumb to fads, I might be fad resistant. Last year all the boys my son's age had to have Nike Elite socks. And Brainy begged and he pleaded and he felt insecure about his regular tall black Nike socks, but those Elite socks are like fifteen bucks a pair and they just go on your smelly feet, so no. And women have been wearing scarves around their necks as accessories for years now and I've yet to buy one. I have a warm gray scarf I wear with my winter coat when it's freezing outside, but my neck doesn't stay cold year round, so I go without most days. I don't know if I haven't gotten into those because I'm fad resistant or because I don't want to have to learn how to tie one properly. I learned how to tie my shoes when I was four, shouldn't that be enough?

My girls are seven so of course they think they need American Girl dolls. Correction, my girls are seven and they think they have American Girl dolls. (Shhh!! They are affordable Target alternatives. And if you take care of their hair, no one can tell the difference without a blood test anyway.)

But this comeback of the loom is a surprising one. Weren't looms popular hundreds of years ago, like pre-Industrial Revolution? Is our economy in such bad shape that we're training child laborers to operate looms again. Is this where we're headed when the bubble finally bursts? Is a return to steam engines and blacksmiths far behind? Will the whole country start to look like Colonial Williamsburg again?

For now I'm just going to keep my kids in school, working with iPads and Smart boards, gambling that I don't need to teach them to grind their own flour. Whereas, apparently, the rest of you have already pulled yours from school to work in rainbow loom sweatshops all day. How else can you explain some of these girls that have rainbow loom bracelets up to their elbows on both sides and hanging around their necks like to-go nooses? I had a fourth grade girl sitting next to me in reading group this week who seriously had so many rainbow loom bracelets that I thought if she took it just a little further, she could have full body armor and therefore be able to repel spears if and when Native Americans throw them at her.

I also have to point out that this isn't just a trend with girls. My son has had boys over here to play ball with him and they have to remove their "bracelets" before they go out for a catch. Stretch and Reckless may always hold their lack of a loom against me, but my son will thank me someday.

And, finally, I will admit that with every fad I avoid, and I don't avoid them all, but with the ones I do, I run the risk of becoming out-dated. I risk being that mom wearing the fuchsia, purple and white windbreaker to the mall with her kids in 2013, even though she bought it at the mall when she was a kid in 1983. (Note, I don't have any clothes that are more than six years old because that's when I lost sixty pounds.)

I will also admit that for the first two or three months the girls were talking about these bracelets, I thought they were saying Rain Balloon bracelets, not Rainbow Loom bracelets. I'm not sure there's a difference or if it matters; I'm not even sure they weren't saying Rain Balloon. But I have started calling them by the right name, just in time for the next big thing to come along.