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Monday, December 31, 2012

Seriously I think this year had 12 weeks instead of months! What the heck happened to it!? Let's see...

The highlight of our was when we brought our sweet Hudson into our lives. Which started our year off wonderfully! After him followed and year of firsts for us! Many good things and a few bad things. It has been the best and hardest year of my life though! And I'm sure I can speak for Curtis too. Well the hardest part of the year has been being a parent! And the best part of my year, well, has been being a parent!! I can't help but just talk about my Huddy in this post since he has just taken over our lives this year! It's been all about him! He's been the good, the bad, and the ugly that this year has been for us. Hah! It's him who has made it hard for me and us. But he is the one who has made it all WORTH it! Of course he has brought more good than bad though... :) The hard part has been constantly learning to be a mom. It isn't easy. The ugly part has been watching Hudson endure all that he has this year. You want so bad to just do it all for him, everything, but you have to sit back and let him learn and experience everything that tags along with a cleft lip and palate. Although I keep wondering whose trial it really is? His? Or ours? We sure have learned a lot from this little boy in just one short year! He's one amazing kiddo! He's definitely been the best part of our year!

Underneath the fame that Hudson has brought we've also had time to work on our house. And OH how we love our house!! We've slowly filled it with furniture, decor, pictures, many, many toys, and our own smell. :) We I've also worked real hard on our backyard! I'm very proud of it! We planted grass in April and by the end of summer it was beautiful! I battled weeds everyday, laid a rock border, watered and mowed that yard! We finally got a weedwacker for Christmas and I got to be the first to use it! After all summer of mowing the lawn I was finally able to finish off the edges!! And now you can actually see my rock border. I enjoying keep up with the backyard. It's definitely our dream home for being first time homeowners. We do love the area of San Tan Valley and we love our ward and the friends we have made in it!

We were able to take a little family vacation to San Diego in July! We absolutely love the beach and enjoyed watching Hudson experience it too!

In September Curtis lost his job at Go Daddy which we had been expecting but hoping for the best. I had faith we were just being pushed into a new direction. After 2 months of no job he finally got one at a specialized loan serving place. Which he hopes to move up in and gain more experience in the loan servicing world. He's decided he wants to get a degree in business and eventually work for the Phoenix Suns in that aspect. So you've got to start somewhere!

Also towards the end of September we found out I was pregnant, again! Besides our worry of what the future might hold for us then we were still very excited! Our new baby is due June 6, 2013 and we hope to find out what we are having in the next few weeks!! We are both hoping for a girl this time! Being pregnant around this time of year AGAIN has been so weird to me! Just this time last year we were waiting for Hudson to arrive! We joke about "not making this a habit". None the less I'm still excited to be pregnant again besides the aches and pains it brings. Just the thought of having another little baby in June thrills me beyond words!

In October we celebrated our 2nd anniversary! Also where the being pregnant joke comes in again- "lets not make this a habit of being pregnant for every anniversary". A new year a new baby!! Why not?! I feel like we have been married for so much longer! In a good way though! We have this beautiful house, a beautiful child, and another one on the way! Why wait? We have eternity together!

So this year has roughed us up a bit and I can't say we've really ended better than we started. (Besides our sweet boy) We are still recovering from Curtis's job loss and we are kind of at a cross roads in which direction we take next. Another "ugly" part of the year. Big decisions lie ahead but I know if our plans can be inline with God's plans for us then I know things will work out for the better.

In church yesterday our Bishop mentioned new year resolutions. I know it's something we all think about as the new year approaches whether mentally or written. We all start out with high hopes in bettering ourselves and making new goals... again. He pointed out that if you take apart the word "resolution" it is then re-solution. Instead of trying again for resolutions this year we should just drop the "re" and actually find solutions to our list of things we hope to better or accomplish this year. Find the solutions this year so that come next year it wont become another "resolution".

I'm glad we get to ring in the new year with the celebration of Hudson's first year of life!! It's definitely something to celebrate! He has been such a joy and blessing in our lives. I love him to death! We also have a big surgery to look forward to the end of January or in February! I have high hopes for our little Hudson during this time! I know he'll be a champ through it, just as he has proven himself so this last year! And of course we look forward to having another baby in our arms in June! Despite our trials I still can't ignore all the blessing that have come our way this year as well. We've had so much of our family and friends rise up and support us as we welcomed Hudson and again when he had surgery and again when Curtis lost his job. We are surrounded by wonderful people and many blessing in life if we just open our eyes to them.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

The second it takes you to check your blind spot could mean the missed brake lights in front of you. In that instant you forget all the lessons you had in Drivers Ed. class. The ones where you learn that turning into the skid will get you out of the skid. No one remembers those when the only thought going through your head is "Why am I not stopping!? Why am I not stopping?!".

It could have been so much worse, and why wasn't it? The freeway had just turned into 3 lanes and I wanted out of the slow lane. The second it took me to check my blind spot caused me to miss the the breaking cars in front of me all too fast. I swerved to the left to avoid hitting the car in front of me which caused me to overcorrect and I started to skid out of control. What was happening?! I turned the steering wheel to the far right and then to the left as I slammed on the brakes. Why wasn't my car stopping!? And why couldn't I steer out of the way?! My car spun and the front passenger side hit the median of the freeway where I ended up facing the opposite direction.

Today I am grateful. I'm grateful my son wasn't in the car with me. I'm grateful for the road workers who stopped the traffic for me and allowed me to turn my car around when no one else offered to help me. No one saw me spin out of control? No one saw me hit the median and crushing the front of my car? No one noticed the the smashed car that was facing THEM!? No one thought that "hey that backwards car might need help?". No one helped the crying pregnant lady but some roughed up workers on the side of the road? I'm grateful someone was there for me.

Today I'm grateful for medians. The one I left my mark on and saved me from driving into the on coming traffic. I'm grateful I didn't hit anyone else around me as I took up almost 3 lanes trying save myself. I'm grateful for family who helps me without blinking an eye. I'm grateful for the little being growing inside me I saw moving on the screen today. Today I am grateful to be alive.

It's moments like these where you step back and realize how horribly wrong it could have been but somehow it wasn't, and why? I can't help but think after the events of this week that we were being watched over. It was just yesterday I received a call front the man that loaned me money to buy my car over 3 years ago release me from my debts. My monthly payments to him were by no means a lot compared to other car loans. But to a family recovering from a 2 month job loss it is. And the fact that I still had 8 more months of payments put me into tears as I told this man, who I admire, what a blessing that would be to us. My eyes again teared up last night as we get a knock on the door only to find 2 boxes full of household and food items. So my heart is full of gratitude today for a Father in Heaven who lead these people to do the things they did and prevent a life threatening accident from being just that.

Count your many blessings folks and give thanks to the One from which they came.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Hudson just gets more and more entertaining as the months go by! Hudson is 11 months young today! And I just can't believe it! Good thing I'm already pregnant because I've been real baby hungry lately... My next monthly post about Hudson will include a 1st year birthday party!! This past year has just been in fast forward. I wish I would have sat back and enjoyed it a little more. But I'm always so excited for that next step in Hudson life!

I can't say there is anything really new with this kiddo this month. Just improving on his last set of new skills. Like walking! He's pretty good at it now! He thinks he still needs help though. He'll be walking toward me whining because he wants my hand so he can walk. But he's already walking! Silly boy! Still has one tooth. The one coming in on his cleft side is really taking it's time. It's been poking out for the last month but has not made any progress. Hmmm He did learn how to say "hello" and hold a phone up to his ear! Although it's really not a "hello" but more of the sound of "hello". Still cute.

Hudson's favorites lately are:
-Pushing buttons
-His ball pit. Which he will play in and out of for hours!
-Walking, as always
-Being chased. Which is so cute! I'll growl at him and come after him on my hands and knees and he squeals and tries to get away real fast. It's SO cute!
-Being tackled and kissed by Daddy. And dancing with him too
-The dogs. When they are chasing each other around the house he tries to keep up with them while laughing at them
-Throwing fits. When I take him away from something he shouldn't be doing or take something away from him he starts to scream and cry and wiggle out of my hands. Or he throws himself to the floor. It's pretty funny. For now at least...
-Food, as always! I can't believe how much he eats! He was in heaven on Thanksgiving. We all just kept stuffing him and we finally had to stop because his stomach was getting so tight and he just wouldn't stop himself! Does he ever get full?! He's been so good with just about every kind of food out there! He rarely chokes anymore! And when he does it's because he stuffs too much food in his mouth and can't do anything. I'm impressed.

Now that we have AHCCCS we were finally able to move forward with his palate surgery. Although AHCCCS doesn't cover any of his surgery! But now that we do have it we have to apply for CRS (Child Rehabilitation Services) Who will pay for everything. But I was told that wont take long before Hudson gets that. Hopefully by the end of the year. THEN we can get a surgery date which will now be the end of January or beginning of February. Mercy. We can also finally see an ENT for him. And Hudson will most likely get ear tubes when he has his palate surgery. In the mean time we are stuffing him full and hopefully adding on the pounds!

There is really not much to report for this month... I look forward to the upcoming month for sure!! Christmas will be so much fun with him around! I can't wait to give him the gifts we got him! And then we are hopefully planning a birthday party for him!! I still can't believe he will be one! He's too little to be one! :( What a year it has been!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

Bet ya didn't see that coming! If you thought having your first baby was crazy try having another one! I feel so advanced in life... yet not really... Hah

So baby number 2 will make it's appearance around June 6, 2013! Sooner rather than later I hope... Stinkin' Hudson! 8 days late is unacceptable! I'm so excited I can't stand it! The day I had Hudson was the best day of my life!! (sorry Curtis, you just can't beat bringing a life into this world ;) ) To think I get to practically relive that day makes me excited beyond words. And knowing the joy that a baby actually brings this time around just adds to all my excitement. I feel so much more prepared... and then not really. Hah! I know what it's like to have a new baby but not to have TWO babies! As blessed as we have been with Hudson I'm actually not worried about him at all. He's been such a good baby I just have a feeling he'll be a good big brother too. As lucky as we got with him I know this next one is going to give us a run for our money!! What are the chances we have 2 good babies... in a row!? Ya right.

So I'm already about 15 weeks pregnant! It has gone by so fast this time around! Thank goodness... Me and patience don't go well together. And my morning sickness is finally fading away. Just when you think it'll never end! It's actually a good thing I'm writing this now with out morning sickness or else I'd be saying things like "I hate being pregnant!" or "Why am I doing this again?!". It probably wouldn't be a very happy post. But things are looking up finally! My house is not being neglected and either are my husband and child. Dark times that morning sickness is... dark times. I don't care who you are, being pregnant is rough! Yet I do love it! I finally have a little belly to show for it! That makes me more excited, then it becomes more real!

I know our chances for another cleft baby are still lower than 10% but I still can't help but worry this one will have a cleft too. I have had so many dreams already that this baby will be born with a cleft too. As much as I want to have a baby with no defects... I also just as much want another cleft baby! It's a weird feeling and I don't think I could ever explain it to you for you to understand. I think so highly of my sweet Hudson. He is so special to us. Why wouldn't I want another choice spirit to come to us? He has inspired me and made me so proud! And yet on the other hand... I don't want to deal with weekly appointments, another possible NAM, and of course more surgeries and costs. And after all our bottle struggles (not to mention I hate cleaning them...) I really really am looking forward to breast feeding this time around. I am almost more anxious to find out if this baby has a cleft rather than if it's a boy or girl! Cleft or no cleft I know I'll be more than happy either way. But we are both hoping for a girl... :) After all... a cleft baby is ALL I know.

Sorry no pictures of Hudson's announcement... :( Apparently I have used all my free space and can't upload any more pictures.