Everyone, meet Niall Leonard. Niall Leonard, meet everyone. You've probably never heard of Niall before, but chances are that you know his wife, Fifty Shades of Grey poetess E.L. James. A fellow writer, Leonard has acted as James' proof reader throughout the early developments of the Fifty Shades series and has also collaborated with her on the creation of two sons who are both now teenagers. In spite of all that, he insists that he has had no influence over the character of Christian Grey (duh — because it's Twilight fan fiction) nor has he inspired any of Grey's sadistic behavior (DUH — BECAUSE IT'S TWILIGHT FAN FICTION), but not to worry — he has no jealousy towards the handsome, young, Twilight-inspired billionaire that his wife has chosen to write so intimately about. "I'm really happy not to be Christian Grey," says Leonard in an interview with CNN, "because that guy's a mess."

A curmudgeonly Leonard went on to say that being married to one of the world's most famous erotica authors is just like being married to anyone else and that they tend not mix their work and personal lives. As for what he thinks of his wife's novels, Niall claims to appreciate the writing and the story telling (huh), but doesn't feel like it's for him: "It's aimed at women. It works for women. Men — not always."

What does work for him, it turns out, is his own debut novel Crusher, a crime story about a teenage boy — hopefully one who falls down and says "jeez" a lot — avenging the death of his father. No update on whether the story includes any Red Room of Pain sex play.