Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Need Something Funny!

21 comments:

I'll try... with one of my most embarrassing moments. It was on my mission in Guatemala. I lost my comb and needed to buy a new one. The Spanish word for comb (peine) is very close the the Spanish word for penis (pene). We walked into a shop, and I asked the girl behind the counter if she had a "peine" - but I guess my pronunciation was not very good. She gasped and looked shocked, and my latin companion who was standing next to me grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the shop, in extreme embarrassment. We went to another shop where HE got me a comb, and we never visited the first shop again.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well I was married to her for 35 years.”

I once went through the Jack in the Box drive through and after paying and getting my food the girl says Straw Sir?...I though that she was saying Strasser?Like is that your Strasser, Morgan Strasser...Then I was like, "Yeah, where do I know you from?" Then she looked at me like "Huh!"Then I was like, "Are you from Middleton?...Did you used to date a guy named Mike?... Are you the one with the webbed finger?...And then Sara's laughing helped me to realize that I did not in fact know the Jack in the Box girl, she was merely offing me a straw for my coke. That is why my blog is named Straw...Sir?

One time a cheesy car salesman gave me his card and was rambling on about numerous things like how that wasn't an oil leak it was just the car sweatin' from all the horse power and while he was talking I kept calling his cell with my phone in my pocket and watching him say "Hello can you hear me now?" like he was auditioning for a verizon commercial. Then I walked away pretending I had a phone call and while he was taling with Sara I made a creepy voice and told him that I was watching him and to prove it I described what he was doing and what he was wearing. He never caught on.

Every single time someone dials the wrong number and gets ahold of me by mistake I try to sell them a house. I call it reverse telemarketing. It hasn't worked yet but what a story it will be when it does.

This will make you laugh Katie, and I'm not leaving my name because you will immediately know who it is. I got super wasted last night downtown and for some reason decided to walk back to my friend's house on warm springs from the bar. Somewhere along the way I needed to pee. So I pulled down my pants behind a car and proceeded to go. I lost my balance and ended up peeing all over my pants, shoes and cut my hands arms and hit my head on the pavement. oh yeah, there were some frat guys watching the whole thing behind me. loves you!