The thoughts, fantasies and random ramblings of Ashton Boatman Chris Leah, largely, but not exclusively, connected with his work for the Wooden Canal Boat Society, restoring historic wooden canal boats and putting them to work doing good deeds for the community and the planet.

Reports are coming in of an incredibly bright orb like disk in the sky over Dukinfield, Greater Manchester. It was so bright that ordinary cameras were unable to photograph it. Scientists claim that this is a natural phenomenon called the Sun, a huge thermonuclear reactor round which the Earth orbits at about 92 million miles (but who would believe that).

Leading astrologer Lynda la Veritas says that this is the result of a rare conjunction of planets and it will ensure peace, love and prosperity for all who cross her palm with bitcoin.

A spokesman for the Flat Earth Society said that it was the return of the god Helios driving his golden chariot across the sky. A temporary break in the clouds of toxic chemicals dispersed in the sky by THE GOVERNMENT has enabled it to be seen. He expressed some concern that too much exposure to the light could affect the giant turtle on whose back the Earth's disc sits.

Donald Trump tweeted that it was Obama and the Clintons who had kept us in the dark and this beautiful orb was there because he said it would be. In a further tweet he suggested that bathing in the light of the orb was a cure all and so healthcare was no longer needed.

Boris Johnson welcomed the news of the orb's sighting and declared that this was just the beginning of a bright new future which we would all enjoy when brexit was complete and he was prime minister. His cabinet colleagues suggested that he stick to his brief as Foreign Secretary.

Islamic State (Dukinfield Chapter) claimed that this was a sign of the imminent return of the prophet Jesus on his white charger to turn the military tide in their favour and lay waste to the ungodly. The unbelievers must prepare to taste death, they added.

Chris Leah

For the last 40 odd years I've been messing about with old wooden narrow boats. I helped to set up the Wooden Canal Boat Society which has a collection of 6 historic boats which would probably have all been broken up without WCBS intervention. I've been involved in restoring "Lilith" (1901) "Forget me Not" (1927" and "Hazel" (1913) and am currently skippering "Hazel" as a well being boat providing trips and holidays for people who need their spirits raising.