Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown

Posts: 1200 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land

n0tm3♀ MemberMember # 37884

Posted: 10:16 AM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

I so needed to read this today. I have spent half the morning crying. Unable to pull myself out of my funk.

Me: BS 46
Him: WH 45
DDay #1: 12/17/12; OW 48 married 23
years
DDay #2 2/1/13 EA 6 years ago for 2 weeks with a married college friend through FB
Married 19 years, friends since 1993
3 kids; 8,14,17
trying to reconcile, I am in IC, DD in IC

Posts: 264 | Registered: Dec 2012

PlumLoco♀ New MemberMember # 38045

Posted: 2:01 PM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

Thank you, this is great and just wanted I needed.

Posts: 4 | Registered: Jan 2013

sj81♀ New MemberMember # 36538

Posted: 5:00 PM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

So glad I read this, it even made me smile to myself

It's in my notes so I can see it every day

Thanks to everyone who kept it bumped

Eta: I hope it's true, really really hope its true! I haven't seen/don't know much about ow yet as WH doesn't remember much at all apparently, if its true I might smile a bit more in general.

[This message edited by sj81 at 5:06 PM, January 8th (Tuesday)]

Posts: 31 | Registered: Aug 2012

notquiteoverit♀ MemberMember # 32919

Posted: 5:09 PM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

I always enjoy reading this post. In my case, this most definitely was true of OW.

Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 606 | Registered: Jul 2011

catlover50♀ MemberMember # 37154

Posted: 5:34 PM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

My fWH has said that there is no way he would even DATE his OW if we had split up. Can you imagine? He had no respect for her, no love, she chased him at a vulnerable time and he played out his pathologies with her, in between her threatening to tell me if he did not give her what she wanted. He never took her on a date, never spent the night, or a holiday, or a vacation, never said I love you. Yet she dreamed that there was a chance he would leave his family for her? Even after he repeatedly said he wouldn't? How deluded could she be? Now she tells me she was victimized and HE has a problem? Well yes he does, but it would have been much better if she had stayed away from a married man, a man who she had met his wife and children. Unfortunately their pathologies collied into a toxic mix. My fWH is disgusted he ever touched her.

Okay, yes, they always affair down!!

Dday -9/24/2012
Reconciling

Posts: 1876 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: northeast

Jaded4life♀ MemberMember # 37577

Posted: 5:35 PM, January 8th (Tuesday), 2013

Great post! My wh doesn't have the personality or charm to sweet talk a real person into sex. He had to find them online. I guess when you're broken and pathetically inadequate you'd f¥<{ anything.

I saw one of the ow on Facebook and what a dog! Actually that's an insult to my yorkies

D-Months: Nov & Dec 2012. TT.

Posts: 94 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Land of the lost

StrongestGirl♀ New MemberMember # 38110

Posted: 9:55 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013

Love this post! I've said it ever since but not as eloqunetly as you did. Thank you!

When you think something hurts to much to forgive, then you realize you have to forgive BECAUSE it hurts so much.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jan 2013

Beowulf♂ New MemberMember # 38128

Posted: 2:34 PM, January 15th (Tuesday), 2013

What a great post. thank you. I really needed this.

The best revenge is living well.

Posts: 35 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Texas

NoraLee♀ MemberMember # 37922

Posted: 9:53 PM, January 16th (Wednesday), 2013

Every word of this is soo true! My husband betrayed me with a women with 3 kids from 3 different daddies, none of whom stayed with her, she'd never been married, her family won't have anything to do with her, she's on 9 or 10 different meds for mental illness, has no female friends - just her live in bf, the guy she screwed on the side and my husband - the knight in shining armor. Oh - and no one's ever asked her to marry him. She's a waitress with no high school diploma, covered neck to toe in cartoon tatooes and vines, gets high with her kids, does various recreational drugs, her kids go without while she buys herself implants - tells the men at work how her boyfriend's penis is too big (I mean really???) just unexplainable how my husband found these faults "endearing" (his words on D-day). I'm an elementary teacher who goes without so her kids have what they need. I don't do drugs and until the A - didn't even drink socially. My H admitted he could never take her to meet his family - he'd be mortified. Yuck - this turned into a rant. Sorry. Just want to say that I've bookmarked this link - its what is starting the healing of my self-esteem. I read it everyday. I've always been a strong woman who values her attributes - and I will no longer allow this affair to make me feel "less than...". I am fortunate that my H's fog has cleared - now I will reclaim my self-esteem and value. This post will carry me through the rough patches. Thank you for posting it...

I love this. Of course I knew any woman stupid enough to get involved with a married man with pregnant wife and two small kids who was fine walking away from them without even a fight must have the lowest standards around.

"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 150 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas

tinysteps♀ MemberMember # 36104

Posted: 10:13 PM, January 27th (Sunday), 2013

Bump. Needed this tonight. I am so glad this is here. I have read it over and over again.
TS

BS-Me (48)
WH-Him (54)
M-12yrs Together 15 years
D'Day April 20, 2012
On the R Rollercoaster

How will see the great things ahead of us if we keep looking back at the bad things behind us?

Posts: 83 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: My heart is at the beach

Maxine♀ New MemberMember # 38178

Posted: 10:27 PM, January 27th (Sunday), 2013

Thank you, Well said and very true, I guess I just haven't thought of it this way.

What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger. (I sure hope this is true)

Your words are exactly what I needed to hear. Seriously, you have no idea how much you have helped me.

I don't say much but I lurk around a lot. Thank you for baring your souls here, you've said the words I couldn't find and you've helped me heal more than I can say.

Me - BS
Him - FWS, serial long term EAs

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jan 2013

bridar♀ MemberMember # 34512

Posted: 12:49 PM, January 28th (Monday), 2013

I can't tell you how much this means to read this!!! Today is one of my extreme anger days, and upon reading this, I just broke down. Now...how do you make yourself believe all of it!?!?!?

Thank you!

Me:41
WS:43
Married 19 yrs, together 22
2 kids 21/19
Feels like I am in Hell

Posts: 195 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Canada

BFFGone♀ MemberMember # 38263

Posted: 1:41 PM, January 28th (Monday), 2013

Thank you for this.
The OW in my case is a size zero whore with big boobs, to my size 8 with better boobs...but honestly, I wonder if on some weird level....the reason literally cannot eat food is because of how f'ing tiny she is.
I'm prettier, better in every way humanly possible....and I have more class in the pinky toenail,than she has in her whole diseased body.........BUT why do I compare?
"F" all the weak whores that sleep with married men.

ME: BH 44 scientist (PhD in Genetics)
HER: XWW 30 scientist (PhD in Neuroscience)
OM: 44 HS diploma..now a student going back to school for RN after leaving career as lobsterman

REALLY?!?

[This message edited by Newstart43 at 3:13 PM, January 28th (Monday)]

"Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". "
-Maryanne Radanbacher

Posts: 34 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Connecticut

deathbybetrayal♀ MemberMember # 22478

Posted: 9:12 PM, January 28th (Monday), 2013

We're almost five years out so I'm not around much anymore. But I do "pop in" every now and then just to see how everyone's doing.

I read your stories. I feel your pain. I'm happy this thread has helped at least a few of you survive the next hour, or day, or week. I've still not seen any trade ups ... and once in a while something really strikes me ... like tonight:

ME: BH 44 scientist (PhD in Genetics)

OM: 44 HS diploma..now a student going back to school for RN after leaving career as lobsterman