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denial

This morning, to keep “the streak” going, I pushed her into the bedroom and then pushed her over the bed. It was not very forceful, but I knew that we would have limited opportunity once my kids arrived for a couple weeks, so I needed to strike while the iron was hot.

“You have one minute.”

“To cum?”

She didn’t answer, but I had her bent over, her shorts and panties down and had already loosened the tie on my slave pants, they slid down to my ankles with no trouble. I quickly knelt behind her and got my tongue into her ass, the quickest way to getting me to hardness.

“15 seconds elapsed, pup…” she said as my tongue lapped at her ass. My hand on my cock had be semi-hard, but not rigid. Her words made me hard enough to enter, once I put spit on my head and on her pussy opening. Standing behind her, I slid in quick and deep. She moaned. “Unfffffff” was her only available response now.

“Did I have one minute to cum?” I repeated my query.

“What do you think?” I knew the answer.

“Please…. please…. ”

She laughed, I fucked. “No, no, that’s not going to happen. And you have 30 seconds left.” I moaned. I stopped fucking. I was already at the edge. She laughed more. “Like I would have let you cum if you could… don’t you know better by now?”

I slid into her again, having regained some of my composure. She groaned again as I filled her.

“Ten.” I fucked deep and full.

“Five” I pulled out.

“Very well, you were about done anyway. I’m done with you.” She stood from her position, pulled up her panties and shorts and left me there, my cock in my hand, pulsing uselessly. I stroked my cock just once and a large drop of cum dripped from the head – she gasped – I never saw it, as I had removed my glasses.

“Clean that fucking carpet and get your fucking uniform on. I’m done with you.” She walked out of the room.

And so ended day 15 of consistent fucking and denial. I’ve been denied for far longer but we’ve fucked every single day for 15 days. This seems to be a streak she intends to keep going.

This was the text I received from her this morning after I had shared a 4 image series of pics, one of which is included here. And indeed, I am hungry. She’s denied me for over 100 days. And last night, while our reunion was sleepy and tired and we both desired deep slumber, she also was aroused by my naked body next to hers, my gentle petting of her pussy, my nuzzling her arm, petting her body… I could tell she had already touched herself, as I could smell her while she pet my face.

We caught up from our weekends apart, I pet and nuzzled her, she grew sleepy. She got up to go to the bathroom before we both settled in for sleep. I placed her body pillow in the right position, set the covers to accept her into the bed, moved her squishy pillow to the right spot. She returned, got into bed and her hand grabbed at the back of my head, quickly pulling my head of its pillow and toward her pussy. I cleaned her diligently, thankful to be between her legs and servicing her, as well as pleasuring her. My tongue lapped all around her pussy and then settled a few broad tongued strokes across the top of her clitoral hood, shaking the jewelry that has lived there for years. Now her hand pulled at my hair again, pulling me up, moving my body in between her legs, my hard cock ready to be inside.

“May I, Ma’am?” I asked as I wet the head with my hand.

She breathed out the word “Yes” and I was in her before the “s” faded. “Good boy!” she breathed out. I thrust twice and pulled back, already close to the edge. Gradually I was able to fuck her, one thrust at a time, her fingers danced on her clit while I did so.

“How does it feel to fuck without cumming for 102 days?”

“It’s intense, I can barely keep myself calm enough.”

“How long have I denied you?”

“102 days Ma’am.”

“Say it, say it all… ”

“You’ve denied me for over 100 days Ma’am. I haven’t cum in over 100 days.”

“No, you haven’t. Maybe you’ll never cum again… ” I pulled out. “Put it back in!”

“I can’t! I’m too close Ma’am, it’s been over 100 days.”

“Over 100 days of denial pup?” she was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Yes Ma’am” I whimpered, almost whining.

“100 days of no cumming. Oh those balls are so full, I can feel how heavy they are. Fuck me, pup!” I slid in, then out again. “FUCK ME, PUP!” I slid in and out again.

Her orgasm hit her quickly. Surprised, she had just pushed herself over the edge. She was falling down the other side of the mountain head over heels. I breathed deeply and entered her again, she squeezed my cock, I held steady. She cried out, I held steady. I slid in just a bit deeper, she squeezed me hard and thrashed. When she could breathe again, she uttered “Good. Boy!” I had to pull out. She uttered dismay at my leaving her. I apologized.

“Do you need cleaning, Ma’am?”

“Yes, pup, clean me.” I did, sliding from my cock between her legs to my mouth, where I cleaned her. Soon we were spooned again together, under the covers.

Now I felt it. I felt it within me. She heard me moan and I moved slowly against her, I knew what was in me, coupling with her after being away for two nights made this body to body intimacy grow this in me. I asked. “May I orgasm, Ma’am?”

“Yes, pup.” I let down the internal barrier holding back my orgasm. I let the energy cycle around in its circular path. The energy flowed and built. I was close, I could feel it. My cock swelled and rubbed against her. I clutched her tightly, spooning her, my hand on her breast. I was close. I asked her “please… how many days… will I ever cum again?” She knew where I was going, she helped push me to the edge.

“102 days pup. One Hundred and Two.” I pulled her tightly into me. I tensed. “I don’t know that you ever need to cum again, pup. I don’t know why I need that. That mess. I get all I want from that cock and I don’t think I need any more than that pup. No, I don’t think you’ll ever need to cum again, pup.” And from that edge she pushed me to, those last sentences pushed me over the edge. While she had rolled down a mountain when she went over the edge minutes before, I fell off a cliff, suspended in mid-air, my entire body grabbed at her, my arms, legs, hips, cock, hands, everything. I grabbed tightly at her. Falling yet suspended and then WHAM, I hit the ground, my body shaking violently as I hit, the orgasm washing through me, over me, it made me shake so intensely.

I remembered to breathe, as best I could. I loosened my grip. I thanked her. One decent aftershock and we were in bed together, spooned, ready for bed, we slumbered, we slept. I’m not sure when I moved again, but it felt like I was wrapped in her for 8 hours.

Last night, she woke late, needing me. Needing me inside her. And she took me in, used me, pleasured herself, brought me to the edge a couple times, then she simply rolled over, clutched her pillow and went to sleep. My cock, dripping and hard, throbbed as she rolled over away from me. I sidled up to her, as best I could with my cock pushing straight out away from me, tucking it down. I rubbed her back for less than a minute and she was asleep. This was, in fact, the second time she had used me as her sex toy that day.

I rolled onto my back, stroked my cock – only to frustrate myself further. Still no cumming allowed, I ended up just teasing myself to the edge before my brain would let me relax enough to sleep.

It’s been 95 days today since I’ve ejaculated. She likes that a lot. She likes the number 100 a lot. But she’s getting restless.

Now she has me tracked for location and weight and food. I have my points, I spend them on food, I eat, I drink, I, hopefully, lose weight. This is good. I have a goal of losing some 37 pounds. It’s a bold goal and would bring me to a weight I have seen in over a decade. Or more.

This week, she told me “I think you need to be locked up again. I think you need to be locked and not allowed to cum until you make your goal… ” I’ve been denied ejaculation for two months already (2/2) though I’ve only been locked for a couple weeks during that time. But those two weeks went by easily without any of the discomfort I’ve had in the past with chastity. So I might be back up to taking longer lockup periods.

I know she’s threatened such actions before – denying me for an undefined period, which is where I am now. I have no idea when she will let me cum again. She likes me here. Last night she said “You’re hungry” and I am. I’m hungry and desperate for release. She loves teasing me and taunting me with denial. She edged me so many times last night. With barely her words and just a little bit of pressure on the head of my cock she had me on edge and pulling away from her to avoid stimulation. For minutes I was on edge, just a touch away from spilling.

So now I wonder, will she follow through on this threat. Will I weigh 37 pounds less then next time I spill my cum? Will I be in a new wardrobe? Will I get a great reward? Or will she deny me even having hit my goal? Or will she make me spill before then, despite her threats? I like not knowing whether she’s going to follow through or not. It’s appealing. It’s arousing!

Tonight I’ve been told to make sure that Reba (our masturbation sleeve) is available to her with whatever lube is needed. So she intends to tease me a lot tonight.

Things are heating up. I am putty in her hands, but perhaps an ever shrinking sized ball of putty. ;)

This morning, I was awakened by the pull of my collar, dragging my head to the edge of the bed. There, my Mistress pushed my head down, under her ass, spread her thighs and enveloped me in her pussy. She wriggled, adjusted and moved until she was confident that she had sealed off all the air from my mouth and nose. I licked tentatively at her pussy, but soon, in a sleepy state of waking to begin with, my brain must have thought it was a dream and I found myself sliding away from pussy licking and into dozing. This was, of course, a mistake, as this “dream” I thought I was having was not a dream, but it was very real. And the oxygen not coming to my brain was also very real. And the relaxation I was feeling in drowsy state soon made me, involuntarily, thrash my head which freed me from my prison for enough time to find oxygen again. Now recovered, she did it again, cutting off my oxygen, smothering me with her pussy and ass, the faint scent of Irish Spring and her essence in my nostrils. “Good boy… ” I heard.

I again licked tentatively and this time, voluntarily gave in. I stopped licking, I relaxed and waited to sleep under her darkness. Again, and this time against my own wishes, my body involuntarily thrashed, rousing me, giving me oxygen and I was fully aware again.

She re-positioned this time, now with her ass closer to my tongue and I felt her pussy pushing. Then I felt the warm trickle as she marked my forehead and eyes. I quickly moved my face to cover her mound and be able to take her piss, but she had finished, just marking me for the morning, a small and concise stream, enough to have her let me know what my place is.

She left her perch upon my face and moved around the bed. Finding my cock rock hard, she took it briefly into her mouth to make it wet, then climbed upon me, taking me deep and riding me hard. I clenched my eyelids, trying to prevent the piss from getting directly into my eyes and enjoyed her riding me. She rode hard for a while and I was able to keep up until she started speaking to me. “Good fuck toy!” and “What a good boy.” Her words, her voice, rose me to a boiling point quickly.

“Close!” I uttered plaintively.

“No, no cumming pup. I bet you’re glad to be unlocked, but it won’t be for long. You’re getting locked back up again soon.” I had been locked for three days this week.

“STOP!” I could hear her smiling as she stopped. She teased me to the edge several more times by slowly riding her cock, then climbed off and I could hear her getting her clothes on. I rose, felt my way across the room, blind, to my towel where I dabbed at my eyes. I then fell to my knees naked in front of her, now partially clothed. I kissed her feet. She reached down and let her finger graze my asshole, pressing gently at it. I kissed her feet more and she spanked me, then moved away from my prostrate form to get the rest of her clothes on. I rose, awakened, eyes open, put on my robe and headed for the coffee pot.

As we waited for our movie last week, we hopped into the abandoned arcade area of the theater. Being a weeknight, there were no gaggles of kids running from claw to shooter to racer to basketball throw. Just two adults standing at the air hockey table.

Finally acquiring the right amount of tokens for the game, Madame and I set out to play. I handily won the first game, each of us our own worst enemy scoring on ourselves. The score was something like 7-5. And the second game, before anyone scored I offered a bet.

“Well, if I win, I get… ” She looked at me. “I get… ”

“I win no matter what, you know, boy”

“Yes, I know… but if I were to win this game… I’d like.” I paused as she scored on me. Down 1 – 0. “I’d like a ruined orgasm”

She never tacitly agreed to the bet and, well, there was nothing on the line for if I lost, but that was okay too. We came to the end of the game and the timer ended with the score 4 – 3 in my favor, but she put the puck in – still – the timer was done – the score didn’t register.

The next morning, we woke, she very happy with the previous night as I had shown her quite a good time. She was, I think, pleasantly surprised with how good the movie was and how much fun we both had. She had me fuck her, used me well, I was able to get into some good fucking without worrying about cumming, though she started whispering things to me which put me so close to the edge. I had to stop a few times. Eventually, she tired of this game and demanded “Off!”

I lay on the bed as we cuddled and she stroked my cock lazily.

“So, tell me about this thing we bet on last night?”

“Ruined orgasm?”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, it’s basically just when you run the boy up to the edge, let his cum dribble out over the edge and it’s kind of like an orgasm, but without all the pleasure for the man. The good part is that, supposedly, you can just do that and he’s ready to go again without worrying about him cumming so soon. It’s supposed to take the edge completely off.”

She soon had me at that edge and let go. I had told her “NO! STOP! STOP STOP STOP” but she kept going, releasing me before I started spilling. It was a full ejaculate measure, for sure, but there was none of the pleasure of a full on orgasm. Okay, that’s not true, there was lots of pleasure, but it was a different pleasure.

My honest critique is that it did not keep me on edge like I expected. My cock wilted after I spilled. That’s not supposed to happen with this. My desire waned a little as well. Now, I’m not saying that it wasn’t a ruined orgasm, it certainly was, but perhaps we need to do one of two things. One, she needs to stop sooner – really let it dribble. Two, she needs to not be so fucking sexy while she’s doing it. It really is a turn on. :)

Perhaps ruined orgasms won’t work for me/us. Perhaps when you’re kept in denial so long, even a ruined orgasm wilts the libido a little. I can’t be sure, but I’m more than willing to continue practicing. Any thoughts on how we might make it better?

Saturday was a beautiful morning. At least my body decided that, instead of sleeping in, I would see how beautiful a morning it was. 6 am came quickly, woke me firmly and decided I would not be heading back to sleep. So, I made coffee, cleared the dry dishes from the sink and sat down to watch the sunrise.

She woke after me for a change and came to find me in the comfy chair in the dining room where I like to sit and type. Grabbing me by the tie of my bathrobe, she pulled me into the bedroom and directly into bed. Somehow the robe fell off my body on the way into bed. Now naked, we lay together, snuggled up close. We touched and caressed and she moved her way to lying on her stomach in our standard “pet me” position. Her left arm is free from under her body and she typically will hold my balls while I pet her.

I started petting her, rubbing according to her direction. The sun shone on the bed as we snuggled tightly under the covers. The warmth of the sun inspired us to relax and almost go back to sleep but her directing me to work out knots in her back prevented slumber. Still, I rubbed her, spending time on her back and her bottom. I even went down to her thighs periodically to give them a bit of a rub. The comforter lay on us and cloaked us from Saturday morning but gaps in that coverage let me smell any of the smells that were under the covers. Every time I rubbed her bottom and her cheeks separated, I’d release another waft of her scent which would work its way out from under the covers. Her hand clutched my balls possessively but my cock was free and was rubbing at the junction of her arm and side, providing a delicious little amount of friction. This closeness, this intimacy, her scent, the gentle friction and my service all came together in a beautiful way. I could feel the energy churning around inside me, I felt my breathing get deeper. I asked “May I orgasm, please?”

“Yes pup, do it.” I continued to rub her, catch her scent and rub my cock gently against her, within 30 seconds I was holding onto her hard as orgasm shook my body. My body tensed, I held her, I had a big beautiful orgasm that had several waves and could have gone on for much longer but I reined it in, calmed myself and let me body relax next to her.

“And what brought that on?” she said with a smile on her face.

I explained about all the things that pushed me up and over the edge, making note of the scent, which was likely the biggest factor in pushing me over the edge. “Well good morning to you then!”

I smiled back and she moved from her prone position opening up her breasts to me which I promptly attacked. Another more active round later I found myself at the point of another orgasm, this time while inside her.

I very much enjoy that I’ve learned to have these orgasms without ejaculation. It’s distilled the essence of a full orgasm into one that gives me almost all of the pleasure without spilling the seed in ejaculating and losing that tension. She continues to deny my ejaculating but allows me this type of pleasure. I can’t get there any time I want, but then I’m not sure I want to be able to do that, as it might take some of the mystery out of it. In the end, it’s a good way to be able to share intimacy with the woman that denies my ejaculation but revels in my orgasm.

She came home last night, instead of being away, as was predicted. I was happy for this. While we’ve spent a lot of time together lately, we haven’t spent a lot of time together lately. :) I like our time of play and fun and joy. But as far as Madame and pup, we’ve kept it simmering on the back burner and kept it in our life, but we haven’t put it up on the front burner, nor have we put it into the pressure cooker.

Last night changed that. I had locked up the cock yesterday morning, but she let me unlock last night, which was kind. She also had told me to pick out some equipment I’d like to be tied up in for the night. So, naturally, I grabbed some LBD cuffs (not just because we like Danny, we love his handmade products because they rock! That’s not an affiliate link or anything!) and some hardware, a mindfold and looked for the stocking she wore on New Year’s eve. Turns out, I had tossed those out with the trash in my efficiency before trash day. Drat, no stocking.

She was tired, wanted a sleeping pill and cough medicine and was ready for bed earlier than normal, but that’s fine. I teased her about “I can’t believe you’re going to let Ian fuck you!” – as I have been working on a story where a man named Ian fucks her. We also talked about other things, some vanilla, some not. I rubbed her back.

“Get yourself bound, pup. It’s time.” She rolled over to watch me. I put together the ankle cuffs and clipped those together. I added the wrist cuffs. The collar.

“Anything else you need before I put this all together, Ma’am?”

“Pet me, pup. I’m fascinated in watching you. You’re fucking sexy.”

I smiled. “Thank you. You’re pretty fucking sexy too.” Her hand reached to my cock, felt it half hard and then she rolled over away from me, to her regular sleep position.

Bound up for the night

“Pet me now pup, then clip yourself together.” I put on the blindfold, then pet her until she was close enough to sleep and clipped myself together. My hands together and then to the neck of the collar. I wasn’t very tightly rigged up, but surely I wouldn’t be able to reach my cock, which she’d be happy with. And I wasn’t going to run off in the middle of the night because my ankles were clipped together.

I slept that way all night. I was able to pull a body pillow close to me. I slept pretty well, likely because she had cough medicine and a sleeping pill that let HER sleep well.

This morning we woke, her first, she uttered something to me and I asked if I could have a potty break. She said yes and several minutes later bid me to stand, had me pee into a cup telling me “I wouldn’t pee too much pup, whatever goes in this cup is what you’re drinking.” The blindfold over me helped me relax enough to pee, as she held the cup in front of me with one hand and my cock was in her other hand. I didn’t pee all that I might have as her threat seemed real to me. When I was done she held the cup to my mouth. “Open. Open up pup, I don’t want a mess.” She tipped the cup back, I sighed, opened my mouth… and she walked away with the cup.

“Lay back down” she said as she left the room.

Later, after I dozed some in the bed, she returned and unclipped my hands from my neck. “Get hard, now.” I stroked myself as she put her pussy over my face. She re-positioned me, climbed up on the bed and slid me directly into her pussy, balls deep. We both groaned. She rode her cock, using my cuffed together hands as a handle, whispering down to me about using me, fucking me, riding me. She whispered to me about Ian and how she was going to fuck him and bring back cum for me to lick. Soon I had to stop her. She watched me struggling behind my blindfold. She rode me again. Again I stopped her. “Pup, I want to fuck. Are you telling me I can’t fuck my toy now?”

“Yes! STOP! STOP!!!” she stopped, I struggled very hard. I had been pushed right to the edge. At the end of this edge, she managed to pick up merely a small amount of cum from the head of my cock, feed it to me and then dismount the bed.

“You’re a fun fuck toy. I love watching you struggle.”

And she does. She loves watching me struggle. I think that’s a large portion of the reason she keeps me on edge the way she does. I’m happy with that. While I would love to have her be able to just ride me however long she wants, I also love struggling for her because she wants to see that struggle. But some days I do dream of her just riding me until she cums, climbing off of me and telling me she’s done with me. It’s a beautiful idea.

I’m wondering if I should play that number in the pick 4 lottery. It seems that 1881 is the number that represents some of my world in 2016.

18 is the number of times I ejaculated. Were it not for October, it would be 10. November was also a semi busy month with 4. I think October and the visit from Lady Jill was a great instigator in all of that (okay, she was responsible for a minority of those spills, but some of it was definitely her fault! (thank you, Miss!)).

81 is the number of days the cock was locked. Compared to so many folks in my blogroll and twitterverse, that’s NOTHING. There are people out there hitting 90 – 100% of time under lockdown. 22% is nothing to sneeze at, but it certainly pales in comparison. And that’s very much okay. But it’s a tool we use… that she uses… to enforce her will upon me. Typically it’s a good indicator of the number of days we spend apart. And if we spend around 20% of our time apart, that might be a little excessive and something to work on. But apart 1 in 5 days. Eep!

Madame asked me last night “Was 18 too many?” and I replied what was the correct answer – “It was as many as you let me have, so it was perfect.” And I do believe in that statement. If my orgasms belong to her, then she’ll let me have as many as she wants. In 2016, she wanted me to have 18 and that’s how many I had. Now, for 2017, I don’t know what she’ll want. I’m not sure she does either. Our lives wax and wane between chastity, open sex, denial, demand – and predicting or even goal setting on this kind of number could be hazardous.

Now, as far as the number 81, I’d be happy to see that number top 100, even if solely for the third digit. I might even like to see it top 182 – where we get from my mere 22% into 50% and beyond. But that is also up to her. And honestly, as I made use of this morning, I do love stroking the cock. Damn it does it feel good and let me wake up in a slow and joyful way.

So, I won’t let the numbers run our relationship (not that others who keep strict track do that, but their numbers may be their own semi-physical fetishes – and that’s totally cool – and hot) but I will, in the background, keep track of important numbers in relation to the practice of our FLR.

Gun fight at the OK Corral (Just 10 men shooting off in the middle of the day – actually only 30 rounds, by most accounts, but still, just shooting freely)

I had a great year with Madame. We had our ups and downs, but all relationships are like that. That she completely controlled me all year long is an important aspect. That is one of the key parts of the sexual side of our FLR and I couldn’t be happier for it to be so. Happy New Year everyone! (And in case you care, we’re at zero – zero today).

It’s the first day of the year. She went out last night and partied hard while I stayed out on the roads and tried to help people get from point A to point B while taking a little of their money in the process (uber). In the midst of one of the busier times of the night, she pinged me, I signed off, drove her home, then returned to the task at hand. I ended up being able to put her to bed and then joined her later. I woke before her, pet her, consoled her, fed her, put her back to bed, woke her again, helped her get herself into the shower and then, while working on our mudroom space (which needs to find room for a motorcycle to store over winter!?) I received a text from her.

“Lust”

I went to the bedroom to find her, freshly showered, in her new fluffy terrycloth robe, where I climbed up on the bed and provided a cock for her mouth. She worked on that until it became too much for her mouth to handle (it’s a hard thing to gag a hungover woman with your cock – okay sadist types, I hear you!) and then moved off the bed, at the foot of it, where I raised her robe, made us both wet and, in the word of a lovely friend of mine, “plunged” right into her as she continued to lay on her side.

I fucked her hard, pounding her well. She was dry from the hangover, I spit onto my cock and plunged deep again. She moaned loudly. She tried to reach out and touch my chest, I told her to touch herself.

“I want to watch you cum.” I pulled her leg up to open her up. She rolled over onto her back, I held her legs up and pounded her hard while her hand wrestled with her clit.

That was it. That was all she needed. Pushed to the edge, she started her tumble down. A few bounces on the way down the hill and then she soared over the edge of the cliff, flying, soaring, a big beautiful cum and sliding deep into the abyss of orgasm.

“dontstop” she gasped. I pounded.

It was beautiful, lovely, hot, she gushed. I told her “I think you squirted, it’s so wet!” I knew it wasn’t me. And yet, I knew she didn’t squirt either, because it was inside. She simply gushed inside.

“You’re so wet!”

“I am…. ” she breathed.

I pumped slowly. She was so very wet and it was so beautifully slick. Her pussy grabbed at the head of my cock just slightly differently and I was aroused in a different way. I pumped slowly.

“May I?” I looked at her, my head shaking side to side so very slightly.

She looked back. “Please??? ” I implored.

She smiled. “Please, Ma’am?” I begged.

“No.” she replied. “No.”

“Oh, please Mistress, please!”

“No.”

I continued to pump slowly. She allowed my movement. I wrestled with the possibility of making my way into an orgasm (without ejaculating) but I knew I couldn’t get there.

I whimpered a last plaintive “please”.

“Stop.

Clean me.”

I pumped.

“Clean. Me.”

….

“Now.”

I withdrew. I knelt. I licked. I sucked. I cleaned her. It was all her and I knew from the taste that I was not me. The wetness was all hers.

“Stop”

I stopped. She pulled her legs back onto the bed, then sat on the edge of bed and I helped her up.

“That was a good one.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed Ma’am.”

“I certainly did. Good boy.”

And now my very hungover and beautiful Mistress found her footing, made her way onto the next part of her day and left me denied. And as I’ve written before, her denial of me is often my reward. I am thrilled with her one word. Happy New Year.