Discussion (67) ¬

I think the cinematic sequence was conveyed just fine. That’s pretty much how I saw it.
The vote incentive works for me. You might want to put something like “Vote for The Dreamland Chronicles get this desktop!” as it’s a bit deceptive that you’re not indicating they’re going to be redirected to a rating website to vote.

Hmm, I don’t think its going to be that easy for Nick there. IIRC, last time Alex woke up when he wasn’t in posession of the sword, it faded out and went with him anyway. I seem to remember that Paddington was holding it for him at the time.

I think you nailed it, on both counts. I’ve seen this moment in plenty of movies: the desired object (weapon, valuable artifact, whatever) lands equidistant between a protagonist and an antagonist; cue the simultaneous moment of hesitation as both realize the situation, followed by the mad scramble and scuffle (often a lead in to a big fight scene, or a significant change in the balance of power in an ongoing fight scene). I’m sure there’s probably a Trope to cover this, but I’ve imposed an exile on myself from the TVTropes site, to prevent the inevitable relativistic time loss that happens if I go there …

As for the Vote Incentive, that’s perfect! Because these wallpaper incentives are extremely cool. In fact, I just today changed the wallpaper on both monitors on my home desktop computer for the first time in about five years. (Currently, the left monitor, actually a 37″ HDtv, has the Alex leaping vs. Nicodemus picture, and the right monitor, itself a not-inconsiderable 22″ widescreen flat panel monitor, has the one with Nicodemus lounging on the rock / in the fire, with chin resting on crossed wrists.)

This comment was first when I started it, but I suspect someone beat me to the first post while I was rambling …

I know what you mean about the wallpapers — typically I would have the same one for months/years, but now I have changed it 3 or 4 times this week alone!! 🙂 Can’t decide which one of Nic I like the best! 🙂

I think today is a good cinematic day. The only thing I could nit-pick in this page is that the sword does not show enough movement (after all, it just fell out of the sky).
Otherwise it’s really good. I also adore Nastajia’s new eyes. They have so much more expression to them.

Something that came to me in the last page – again something that is probably irrelevant – armour… should it really burn like that? After all, it’s metal – it should glow hot red, more likely. Though, I guess you did that for the sake of the awesome fire effect and to display the movement (or fall) of Alex more spectacularly. So, it’s justifyable.

I assumed that the reason you have flames gushing from some places (includign the face), and solid armor seemingly unharmed in others, was that the flaming places were where was was enough of a hole or flaw in the armor that Nick’s fire could find skin. I may be wrong, though.

Panel 2 seems a little too dark to me. I barely noticed the sword at all and it fades a lot in panel 3. As it is the focus of this sequence I think it may be better to emp[hasise it a little more as in panel 1.

Panel 2 seems a little too dark to me. I barely noticed the sword at all and it fades a lot in panel 3. As it is the focus of this sequence I think it may be better to emphasise it a little more as in panel 1.

Heh…I doubt that it matters who gets to the sword first. Only the rightful king of Dreamland can draw it oe probably even hold it. Nic couldn’t pull it out of the rock because he is a usurper and not rightful king. I doubt Nastaija can draw it, either. Sh’e not a jerk like Nic, but, still…not the king. That’s Alex’s sword, for now.

I don’t want to sound rude, but Nastajia’s facial expression and body language don’t quite convey a great sense of horror and worry to me. In Panel 2, it seems like she’s reacting to a mildly interesting sound coming from behind her, whereas in Panel 3, it looks a little like she just woke up and is still trying to blink the sleep out of her eyes. If her stance made it look like she was ready to spring and grab the sword, it might work better for me.

Then again, if it work for everyone else, maybe it’s just me who’s missing something. *shrugs* Anyway, thanks for all the work you put into this series, and sorry if my first post here comes off as really critical.

I still always forget which nickname I use to post here. I should standarize it… Well, in response to Andy’s comment, I have to agree with him on the facial expressions, they make the whole thing look less… dramatic, I think, than the situation merits to be. Otherwise, I live the look of this page.
Almost no dialog, but also little movement. That way the weight is put on the inner conflicts and emotional/mental rushes of the two portrayed characters (although that is why facial experessions are key here, heh).

Keep it up, things seem to keep getting bigger and I seem to keep getting anxious to see what happens next!!

I agree about her static posture. Having her mouth open more would help some, as would having Ol’ Nick say something like “Yes!” on the right edge of the second panel. That would give her a very good reason to jerk her head around for panel three. (Speaking of which, while I know that having motion lines wouldn’t work very well, giving her hair momentum would help sustain the illusion of movement, whereas having it hang straight down (although much easier to model) spoils it.)

For some reason when you said this my mind flashed back to “Go get her, Ray!” from Ghost Busters. Ha! That would actually probably be appropriate here: Orion is likely a much faster than Nastajia and Nicodemus combined …

about the comic: I don’t know, the first thought when I saw Nastajia’s expression was more “what to do?” and “Is Alex OK? Do I need to get the sword and give it back to him?”
when I saw Nic’s expression I thought “oh yeah, can Nastajia even pull the sword out when it’s stuck in the ground like that, since she’s not the ‘King of Dreamland?’ Hmm… maybe Nic thinks if he can get it then he’d be a legitimate king? I wonder if he has any more power than Nastajia to pull out the sword, since he’s not a real king? Maybe he guarded the sword those years ago because he’s frustrated that he couldn’t pull it and he didn’t want any humans to try and beat him to it…. then again, maybe if the sword is stuck in normal ground instead of that table thing, anyone can get it…”
I guess the part where I think “maybe Nic thinks if he can get [sword]…” means I sorta got what you were going for? =D

about the voting thumbnail:
Adding the text is muuuuuuuuuch better =D Since I was following the discussion, I figured out yesterday that I was supposed to click the thumbnail to go vote… but it still took me a while to realize it! I kept thinking you’d put the voting button beside the thumbnail or something so I kept searching =P Having that text there makes so much more sense now and also makes seeing the full thing more satisfying. Yesterday I felt the thumbnail gave too much away… today is like “if I click, not only do I see the whole thing, there’s no funny yellow text! =D”
Having said that, I feel the wording is a BIT misleading. I got the feeling that if I just click on it, I’ll see the picture… because you ran out of space on this page to show it or something. But turns out I have to do something for you first… you didn’t say that…
It’s no big deal. Most of us would do it willingly; it’s not like you’re asking us to subscribe to spam or pay or something. It just reminds me of other people’s more intentional attempts to hide things, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It might be just me =P If you think other people are fine with it, then it’s OK =) I already know what this is about, so I’ll keep voting anyways =)

And on the topic of “keep voting”… I’m one of those people who’d happily vote every day, even weekends, and even if you don’t have any kind of vote incentive. But if you can keep some kind of button or link as a permanent feature on the page it’d help me A LOT. Thanks!

Very cinamatic! I like the flow of thought. I just tried to pull off something similar in my own comic this week…..it played so much better in my head, but anyway, I totally see where you were going with the panel progression. Only thing, I might of made Nick’s eyes a little more bulgy and lit up like a kid who sees the candy jar……
Still loving every bit!! 🙂

I think the point gets across, but for “cinematic effect” making the bottom two panels a diagonally split panel panel would have really nailed it. That would put the sword right on the divide between the panels and carried the effect of both Natasha and Nic seeing the sword and realizing it was up for grabs at the same time

My only complaint would be that (at least to my old, tired eyes) the sword isn’t obvious at all in panel #2. While I don’t think it needs to be *glowing* or anything, maybe a bit of a reflection off the blade would make it more obvious what Nastajia is looking at…

Oh, and I’m going out on a limb and say that as Nicodemus reaches for the sword (perhaps after batting Nastajia away?) that Alex will swoop down with his newly-acquired flying abilities and *snatch* the sword .right. .out. .of. .his. .hand. … er, claw? talon?

Hmmm… Isn’t that a stone mesa, the sword landed on? If the sword is stuck in stone, I don’t think anyone but Alex is going to get it out of there. And if Alex wakes up, the sword goes back to him anyway… I think….

Seems to me you’re pretty successful at the cinema effect with Dreamland, Scott. The rhythm and flow of the scenes do remind me of watching a movie. I think that is a big part of its appeal to me.

The sword goes with Alex when he wakes up so it seems like a perfect time for him to wake up. That way the sword would be out of the reach of Nicodemus at least until Alex goes to sleep again. But considering that any amount of time can pass before Alex shows back up it could put him right back in the same situation or he could be a few hours later.

I understand why Nastajia’s skin tone would appear different, due to the flickers of fire & the fact that it’s nighttime, but her skin appears too dark to be considered normal under the circumstances.
It could just be me, though.

Actually, it hasn’t been established that Nick can even touch the sword without enduring some sort of pain or awful fate. Remember that when he first saw Alex as a boy with the sword, he commanded that Alex put the sword back. If Nick could do this safely himself, he would have done so then.

Although now it occurs to me that Nick may not WANT the sword to be broken, just controlled. If, for instance, the sword was the source of all flying magic in Dreamland, Nick would very much not want the sword to be harmed.

First, to those who say this would be a good time for Alex to wake up, as the sword would go with him: sure, that would solve the immediate problem of who ends up with the sword. However, as we can never tell how much time will pass until he gets back (there have been times where it was mere moments, and others where it was a question of hours), that would leave the rest of his party in quite a lurch, at the mercy of Nicodemus’ rage at seeing the sword gone yet again. Brave though they be, I doubt they could do much against an enraged dragon…

Second: In Nicodemus’ text bubble, I think the words “of kings” is superfluous and detracts from the overall effect. Of course, it’s the sword of Kings… That’s the one that is foremost on Nick’s mind… I think it would come off better, less redundant, and more dramatic, by simply saying: “The sword!”

OK, a third thing, after all:
Usually, I tend to leave story-driven comics alone for a while, and then catch up on the accumulated archives. However, I am so engrossed in this one that I believe it will be part of those rare comics with wich I keep up on a daily basis! (Making it a whole 3 comics, now…)

I agree with those who think you “nailed it,” but I want to ask very nicely, please do not leave us hanging over the weekend. I hate it when that happens! I also agree that Alex should NOT wake up now. That could be very bad for Dreamland.

Always been my Theory that when Alex learned to Fly he wouldn’t need the sword to go to Dreamland anymore. Nastajia truly is the Heart of Dreamland at the moment and wouldn’t it be cool if she could come to our world when she falls asleep in Dreamland? (At least Temporarily)

There was a mention a couple of days back that incentives don’t really do much. However, remember the week when the letters going back and forth (Felicity, Nicole, Orion and Dan) were the incentives–Dreamland hit number one. So, good incentives certainly make a difference.

Current average is 1 vote every 97 seconds. Not bad at all. Could be better, I bet. But, this is so much better compared to last month. Scott, are you able to see an increase in readership as a result of the last few days, or is it still too early to tell if it’s from TWC or people just realizing that you’re updating again?