Classic dating mistakes women make

Posted by
/ 24-Jan-2018 10:18

I’ve come to believe a man tells you pretty much everything you need to know about him in the first few months, if not the first few dates. Giving points for being “honest.” If a man is telling you all about his troubles, his rocky romantic history, his financial problems, or his drug addictions, women tend to think: “Oh, he’s being so honest with me, that must mean he doesn’t plan on doing any of this stuff with me.” Women find it impossible to believe a man would advertise his future bad behavior.

Guys who cheat are usually commitmentphobes who use other women to keep distance from you.

Sometimes, an otherwise pleasurable date can seem to go awry for no apparent reason.

Here are the minor slip-ups and mistakes which could be holding you back from dating success.

There are some classic mistakes that women make with men. You have to live it or have your friends live it — sometimes multiple times — for the lessons to kick in. But, boy, if every woman knew these classic mistakes, and to avoid them, before plunging into the dating world in their early 20s, what a different experience love could be for those ladies. In fact, women who are with abusers are never more at risk of being killed than when they get pregnant.

But there is no Relationship 101 unless you count the ones in the School of Hard Knocks. Although people do hear that old adage, "People don't change," no one really takes it seriously until he or she is faced with a person who needs to change. "Oh, he just needs someone who understands him," "If I do everything for him, he'll feel like he wants to reciprocate," etc. And if you are already married, carefully consider what your next step is and whether it should be divorce. I've seen far too many intelligent women get involved with a guy with a horrible romantic history who then goes on to cement the pattern with them. Because they thought they would be the "exception." I've heard: "We were such good friends, I thought he'd never pull that on me." I've heard: "He cheated on his wife, but that was 10 years ago." I've heard: "He broke off two engagements, but this time he says he's really ready and has met the right person." Not that you're definitely NOT the exception -- hey, maybe you are -- but chances are, you're not. If he says, "I'd really love to get married, but I've found it so hard to find someone I'm compatible with," women hear: I'd really love to get married. Classic Mistake #4: Giving points for being "honest." If a man is telling you all about his troubles, his rocky romantic history, his financial problems, or his drug addictions, women tend to think: "Oh, he's being so honest with me, that must mean he doesn't plan on doing any of this stuff with me." Women find it impossible to believe a man would advertise his future bad behavior.

But there is no Relationship 101 unless you count the ones in the School of Hard Knocks. Although people do hear that old adage, “People don’t change,” no one really takes it seriously until he or she is faced with a person who needs to change. “Oh, he just needs someone who understands him,” “If I do everything for him, he’ll feel like he wants to reciprocate,” etc. And if you already married, carefully consider what your next step is and whether it should be divorce. I’ve seen far too many intelligent women get involved with a guy with a horrible romantic history who then goes on to cement the pattern with them. Because they thought they would be the “exception.” I’ve heard: “We were such good friends, I thought he’d never pull that on me.” I’ve heard: “He cheated on his wife, but that was 10 years ago.” I’ve heard: “He broke off two engagements, but this time he says he’s really ready and has met the right person.” Not that you’re definitely NOT the exception — hey, maybe you are — but chances are, you’re not. If he says, “I’d really love to get married, but I’ve found it so hard to find someone I’m compatible with,” women hear: They don’t hear, “I find most women are incompatible with me, and I’m not even considering that this might be my fault.” I had one friend whose new man told her right off the bat that he gets tired of women after two months. But men often give you a warning for a good reason — they are testing you to see if you will stick around after hearing about their chronic unemployment, cheating history, or addictions.

If the answer is “hell no,” then abort mission if you aren’t married yet. I’ve come to believe a man tells you pretty much everything you need to know about him in the first few months, if not the first few dates. Classic Mistake #4: Giving points for being “honest.” If a man is telling you all about his troubles, his rocky romantic history, his financial problems, or his drug addictions, women tend to think: “Oh, he’s being so honest with me, that must mean he doesn’t plan on doing any of this stuff with me.” Women find it impossible to believe a man would advertise his future bad behavior.

If he dumps his wife, that would mean he's only got one woman. If he likes you that much, it should only speed up the process, right?

This does happen with some guys, but it's a huge mistake to assume it's going to happen.

In fact, women who are with abusers are never more at risk of being killed than when they get pregnant.