My journey as a woman and mother of young children who is dealing with metastatic inflammatory breast cancer

My spin on this

A few things just so you get where I am coming from and I will update this list as things come up.

I don’t spell it correctly and I don’t capitalize it unless it is absolutely necessary, I won’t make it that important.

I don’t ‘have’ it and it isn’t ‘my’. I have been diagnosed with kansir. Have and my/mine indicates ownership. I don’t own it, I’m not keeping it.

I don’t see it as a gift. A gift indicates you might give it away. Maybe to a terrorist dictator but otherwise I don’t KNOW anyone I’d give this to.

I don’t go to a regular support group. I have a group of friends/warriors/survivors/thrivers that I can call upon as needed and who I talk to often, I am always adding to that group.

I am always prepared to talk to someone newly diagnosed and I am fine with you sharing my story. I will always find time to talk about ibc with someone. People need to know about it.

I do alternative and complementary treatments. Chinese herbs, supplements, juicing, iv vitamin C, detox, etc. and will do more as the situation warrants. No insurance does not usually cover that.

I do energy healing work (Reiki, Body Talk, etc). Insurance does not generally cover that either.

I was diagnosed at stage iv, meaning it had spread to distant organs, so I will not be considered ‘cured’ or be ‘finished’ with treatment. I may not always be on chemo but I’ll always be on some kind of treatment to keep it under control.

I don’t necessarily want this to run my life but is does play a big role in who I am now. I have to fight, I have to win and it kind of is all consuming at this stage. Earlier stage might be different but this is part of who I am every day. I am sorry if it seems to always be there but the fact of the matter is – well, it is.

I need my friends to promise to help take care of my children if this thing gets me.

Yes, I will let you cook, babysit, drive, clean and anything else you are interested in helping with.

I am a Christian and I pray and talk to God all the time. I may not always be as reverent as you like but I do believe God has a sense of humor too. Look around: wondrous, simple, complicated, amazing, beautiful, terrible, unexplainable, tragic, awesome, miraculous, and yes sometimes funny.

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4 Responses

That certainly sums it up! Love your honesty and sense of humor, Ashley. I can really relate to all you have to say. And I like how simply you state it. I’d like to copy it and wear it as as one of those sandwich billboards and point to it when people ask questions. 🙂

I agree that cancer itself is not a gift, but I do believe gifts can spring from the experience if you are open to it. Meeting you was certainly one of them.

I’m not saying I haven’t gotten some good things from it but I’d just as soon not have it. I love all of the people I have met through this and I have learned a lot and these things are good but I’d still rather have not had to meet any of you this way.