A Permanent Dairy Goddess

If you thought my my last farm tour was the end of my dairy goddess days, you’re wrong.

Dead wrong.

I like to think I’ve transformed beautifully from a sushi-loving, Carrie Bradshaw-wannabe city gal into a down-home farm girl who can milk the cows until they’ve given me those eight to 10 gallons I now know those heifers are capable of producing on a daily basis.

In reality, my dear friend Danielle is visiting me on her cross-country road trip, and homegirl needed to see why Wisconsin is deemed America’s Dairyland first-hand…

And yes, I may have plugged my nose slash held my breath for much of the tour.

It was either that or gag all afternoon.

Upon our arrival, Tina (a.k.a. Queen of Hinchley Dairy Manor) had readied our young buck of a tractor driver, also known as Scott, to personally drive us out to the corn maze, but that was not before we forced said young buck to take a group picture with each of our cameras: Darcey’s, Kristie’s, Danielle’s and mine.

Danielle (who loves traveling, food & The Office as much as I do) and I…

Love that girl.

Anyways, we began our journey through the dense forest of corn husks, tassles and leaves.

It didn’t take us long to start getting creative.

And by creative, I mean take more than 50 action shots of us running through rows upon rows of harvested corn in hopes of catching that elusive mid-air pose.

Corn husk in hand, naturally.

We meandered through the maze and soaked up the sunny, 80 degree weather which Wisconsin has weirdly been blessed with these past couple days.

Navigating twists, turns, turnpikes, corners and windy paths, we exited and found ourselves right in the middle of the most darling pumpkin patch.

Although, she almost missed her tractor ride back to the farm because of it.

It was a good she didn’t, because off to the barn of hormonal heifers we went…

In this outdoor barn, all the cows who are “in heat” (a.k.a. menstruating a.k.a. ready to get knocked up and have a baby a.k.a. future milking cows) hang out, eat food and generally just enjoy the good life.

Like humans, females must first give birth to a calf before they start producing milk.

It takes about 2 1/2 years of feeding, raising and taking care of a female cow before she is ready to get pregnant. They require 100 pounds of food, 40 – 50 gallons of water and lots of love everyday for this to happen. That means after feeding them 912,500 pounds of food, providing them with at least 36,500 gallons of water and getting up at the crack of dawn for 912 1/2 days, they are finally ready to make milk (and money) for the farmer.

I want to go on a farm tour with you! That looks like so much fun. I had no idea cows required so much work before they start produce milk. Thats craziness. Pumpkin ice cream with ginger snap cookie dough….oh my gosh that sounds AMAZING.