Friday, July 13, 2012

BoxerSaint's Classy Corner #1

I’ve been an official author here for a month
or so now, and I’ve finally decided to post. If it helps, I haven’t
posted on my own blog in that time frame either. So, without further
adieu, welcome to the first edition of “BoxerSaint’s Classy Corner.”

I wanted to make a good first impression
on DDK blog, so I found an article on the Business Insider website
discussing first impressions. I thought it was interesting and began to
wonder how their 12 suggestions for a first impression can be applied in a
digestible 40k format. Here are my results:

1. Dress for success

"Psychology studies reveal
that first impressions are formed within 7 to 17 seconds of meeting someone; 55% of a person's opinion is
determined by physical appearance.” -BusinessInsider

What this says from a tournament perspective is that what you walk up to the
table wearing forms over half of what your opponent will think about you during
and after the game. Personally, I’ve taken to wearing a button up and a
tie to tournaments, mostly for the irony of standing next to the guy in the
pink floyd t-shirt that he hasn’t washed since last month.

Now some of your opponents may be so socially inept that they don’t gather any
first impressions about their opponent, and at the end of the day they may not
even remember a single person they met because they are too self-absorbed and
socially oblivious to realize that this is a social hobby (if said person did
actually realize it was a social hobby, he/she would have probably opted to
stay home and play WoW/GuildWars/SWTOR instead). For the rest of us, we
should probably take time to think about what we are wearing, and what that
tells everyone else about us. We shouldn’t obsess over it like a middle
school girl, but this is a small community, and you WILL run into your opponent
again in the future, and what you wear can quickly set you apart from our
socially oblivious counterparts.

2. Choose your words with care

“Statistics show that first
impressions are also determined by the words people use. In fact, 7% of what we think of others is based on
what they say.

Before you meet someone for the first time, think about how you want to
come across: optimistic, confident, humble, aggressive, innovative?" -BusinessInsider

Again, moving in from a
tournament point of view, your words during deployment and the first turn can
set the tone for the rest of the game. If you come off as interested in
your opponent as a person, and try to engage them in casual conversation early
on, then you are both likely to be more considerate of the other when that
inevitable rules dispute happens in the middle of turn 3. You don’t have
to feign interest in your opponent, but ask them a little about themselves.

I have a few stock questions I fall back to when facing a new opponent:
Where are you from? How far of a drive is that to here? What do you do for
a living? How long have you been playing 40k? Feel free to write them on
note cards and keep them in your codex if you have trouble communicating with
people face to face.

You can also come off as aggressive and intimidating if you hit the ground
running. If the first words you say to your opponent as he approaches the
table is: “Here’s my list, where is yours? Ready to roll off for deployment?”
Congratulations, you have just made your opponent interpret you as 7% more rude
and obnoxious than if you had simply introduced yourself first. Some
people may use this approach on purpose, to immediately start the “above the
table game” and force your opponent into a defensive mind frame before any
rolls are made. Good luck with that.

3. Strike the right tone

“Have you ever instantly disliked
someone because their voice sounded brash, whiny or cocky? That is because 38% of person's first impression is
determined by tone of voice.” -BusinessInsider

I can understand this statistic, but I think it is pretty shallow.
Yeah the guy with the squeaky high voice might be annoying at first, but if you
get to know him and he is a decent guy then I think your opinion can be
adjusted. On the other hand, if he is a d-bag, then it just makes him
exponentially annoying. No suggestions here, squeaky, you can’t really
change your voice. Maybe gargle some green tea before coming to the
tournament?

4. Readjust your body language

“During face
to face meetings,93% of
people's judgments of others are based on non-verbal input like body
language. How you stand, sit, and shake hands communicates a lot more than what
you say.

Good body posture, a nice smile,
and eye contact are essential for making good impressions. It is equally
important to avoid crossing your arms (which may signify boredom) or sitting
too casually (which could indicate a lack of care). It is easy to unconsciously
strike a pose; stop every few minutes to notice how your body is positioned.
You may be harming or helping your case without even knowing it. ” -BusinessInsider

I think this is a very useful section. Body
language is just as important, if not more so, than what you say verbally.
As they said, if you’re sitting across the table from your opponent with your
arms crossed, huffing and puffing, and refusing to make eye contact, then they
are probably going to assume you aren’t enjoying yourself, and are likely to
not enjoy themselves as much either (assuming this is a more casual game).
Be a good sport, if your Land Raider takes a penetration hit round 1 and gets
immobilized, get over it. Yeah, the odds were against that happening, but
that is how odds work. Give a jovial, “Oh man! That sucks for me!” and get
over it. Fight on.

When
I played football in high school, the coach made us run laps if he ever saw us
on the field, bent over, trying to catch our breath. Why? Because it’s
like blood in the water to an opponent. Once they see you starting to
give up, they’ll feed off your fatigue and pounce on you. That
rings true in a tournament as well. When I see someone start to get
frustrated that their plans aren’t working how they want, I play a tighter
game. I keep applying pressure and keep pushing them back. If my
opponent is more casual and acting as if nothing I’m doing is affecting him,
then I start to wonder what I am missing. I start to play with less
confidence, trying to figure out what his strategy is, and why I haven’t
stopped it yet. I’m less aggressive when my opponent is relaxed and more
aggressive when my opponent is frustrated.

Also,
to the guy that walks up to the table wearing headphones, and keeps them on
during the game, what is your problem? Take your headphones off, this game
requires open communication. When I see you wearing headphones from the
get go, I immediately assume you are disengaged from the game. You can
listen to Justin Bieber on the ride home, d-bag.

5. Use someone's name often

“ People like it when they are
singled out; cater to their ego and call someone by their name.

As soon as you learn someone's name, say it back to them and then repeat it throughout
the conversation...while it may seem simple, people are more likely to connect
with you if you make the effort to get their name right.” -BusinessInsider

This
is just an important tip for being polite. I have the hardest time
remembering names, so for me, I am very impressed and appreciative when someone
remembers my name, especially when I met them at a different tournament months
ago.

Faces I can remember, but names elude me.
Introduce yourself when you get to the table, as common courtesy requires, and
after you get their name, repeat it and ask them if they are ready to start the
game.

“Nice to meet you, Samuel Jackson. *Pause* So, Samuel, are you
ready to roll for deployment?”

“Wow,
Samuel, that is a tough list! 6 Twin-link Las razorbacks? I’m in for a fight!”

It
helps you remember their name, and helps set the tone for the rest of the game
as well.

6. Be on time

“Always be on
time for an initial meeting. People are busy; one of the worst
offenses you can commit is not respecting their time.

Even better, arrive 15 minutes early. Spend a few minutes collecting
your thoughts and walk into an interview composed. This tactic also leaves time
for getting lost.” -BusinessInsider

Tournaments are timed games. Get to your table as soon as you can. If you
arrive early, start looking at the terrain and think about your game plan.
How will you deploy if you get this quarter? How will you deploy if you get the
other quarter? Do you want to deploy refuse flank and use the center
building for cover?

This
is also a tone setting issue. I’ve had games where my opponent showed up
late, and he turned out to be a gentlemen and a scholar. We had enough time to
finish the game, and we both enjoyed ourselves. I’ve other games where
the guy showed up late, and was a total jerk. I remember both of their
faces, and maybe their names. Guess how my next game against the jerk is
going to go? Probably not good...

7. Focus on the other person

“Talking to
much about yourself will make you appear self-centered and bore your
listener.

Before your meeting, make a list
of all the things you want to know about the other person: How did they get
into their line of work? What business partnerships do they already have/are
they seeking to cultivate? What are their business aspirations?” -BusinessInsider

This is common sense, and we covered most of it in
under point number 2. Engage your opponent; ask questions about their
life, their army, and their paint scheme, whatever. Don’t try to bring
everything back on yourself that is a fast way to set a bad tone.

“Cool dreadnoughts, I converted MY dreadnoughts
from the forge world models. That is a nice paint job, however I prefer
to use blue highlights when I paint black models.” Don’t be this guy.

8. Be a good listener

“35 Business studies analyzed by
the International Listening Center indicated
that listening is a top skill needed
for success in business. Unfortunately, most people only retain about 50%
of what they hear...React to comments with phrases such as "interesting,"
"that makes sense," and "could you tell me more about
that?" Ask follow up questions; it will show you are engaged in the
conversation and care about the subject matter.” -BusinessInsider

This is similar to number 2 and number 7.
Just respond when people say things. They are called “listening noises.”
Feel free to use the following listening noises:

“Hm”

“Interesting”

“I never thought of doing it that way.”

Spoiler alert: This tactic can also be used with your significant other.Don’t tell them that though.

Additionally, if you listen to them talk, especially
if you get them talking about the game, you can start to discern what their
strategy might be, or where they feel their lines are the weakest. Use it
to your advantage. This is a form of “above the table gaming” that I can
condone.

9. Be careful with humor

“Jokes are very hit or miss. One
taken the wrong way can send you to social Siberia.

While there is nothing wrong with
a little banter, avoid controversial jokes or sarcasm that could be
misinterpreted. Everyone is different; before you know someone's sensitivities,
it is best to play it safe and tone down the joke attempts.” -BusinessInsider

No political or religious jokes, unless they are
regarding 40k fluff. Also, don’t make bad comments about someone’s
painting, and while we are at it, be careful that your compliments aren’t
backhanded as well.

“That’s a good paint job for someone who has only
been playing for a few months.” BACKHAND!

“Gandhi and the Pope walk into a bar...” Not acceptable in a new social
situation.

“An Ethereal and a Ministorum Priest walk into a bar...” TOPICAL AND ACCEPTABLE!

10. Bring printed materials with you

“Bringing materials to a first
meeting automatically makes you look like a responsible, organized person...The
process will make the meeting run smoother and it should impress the person you
are meeting. With that said, don't go overboard; they'll think you're a know it
all or that you're trying too hard.” -BusinessInsider

Business Insider probably didn’t want this to fit
so well with 40k, but it does. Bring your codex, your rulebook, your
printed FAQs, dice, a tape measure, models...etc...etc. Be prepared.

I once had a guy walk up to the table with a handful
of marines and drop them all on the table. He also had a wrinkled, torn
army sheet. My initial impression? Oh dear. However, that turned into an
enjoyable and memorable experience. That isn’t always the case though. If
our personalities hadn’t have melded well together, then this was the first
ingredient in a recipe for a bad game.

11. Do your research

“Know as much as possible about
the person you are meeting before you're introduced. You will impress
someone immediately if you can ask informed questions about their background
and signify that you understand their interests/achievements.

With an abundance of social media
tools at your disposal, it should not be difficult to dig up some professional
information. You might stumble upon a mutual interest or friend that you
can drop into conversation for automatic chemistry.” -BusinessInsider

Research and know the other codexes and the rules. Why? I can see
this working on two levels:

1) It will improve your game. You can’t plan
for something you don’t know can happen. Knowledge is power, and all that.

2) Asking questions over and over about your
opponent’s list can get annoying. Even more so when you try to call foul
over it.

“You
didn’t tell me your unit could do that! I would have done this if I had known
that!” Don’t get to this point. Do your homework, or take this as a
lesson hard learned.

12. Relax and be yourself

“Everyone is nervous before a
first meeting; there is a lot at stake and the stress can get pretty intense.
The more at ease you are, the more the other person can get to know the real
you.

Before your meeting, do something
that makes you happy: go to the gym, take a bath, listen to music. Instead of
focusing on what's at stake, concentrate on pumping yourself up. Make a list of
your best qualities, give yourself a pep talk in the mirror, or call a family
member or friend who can give you a boost.

During the meeting, pretend you
are having a casual cup of coffee with a friend. If you get flustered, don't
panic; take a deep breath and keep going. Never assume you are making a bad
impression; you never know what the other person is thinking!” -BusinessInsider

Please take a bath, but if I catch you in the
bathroom giving yourself a pep talk in front of the mirror, I’ll probably punch
you. Just relax, it’s a game. Relaxing doesn’t mean you can’t have
an intense, competitive game. It just means take it easy, have fun.

I’ll leave us with a quote from a young George S.
Patton, patron saint of Awesome. After losing in a pistol shooting contest where he argued that
his later rounds when through the same holes as some of his earlier shots, and
the judges contended he simply missed the target altogether, Patton said
this (according to wikipedia):

“The high spirit of sportsmanship and generosity
manifested throughout speaks volumes for the character of the officers of the
present day. There was not a single incident of a protest or any
unsportsmanlike quibbling or fighting for points which I may say, marred some of
the other civilian competitions at the Olympic Games. Each man did his best and
took what fortune sent them like a true soldier, and at the end we all felt
more like good friends and comrades than rivals in a severe competition, yet
this spirit of friendship in no manner detracted from the zeal with which all
strove for success.”

Take
what fortune sends you like a true soldier, and strive for success with as much
zeal as you can. And stay classy, always.