T'was the night before Christmas and all around the house, not a creature was
stiring except for Redboxchilipepper who was rummaging through this innocent
family's network interface box, clipping their lines and running a long
extension cord down the block into his own house so he could call a bunch of
900 numbers. (Well, okay, so it doesn't rhyme, sue me.)

This entire issue is for entertainment purposes
only. We're not responsible for your stupidity. We're also not responsible if
you don't find this issue entertaining. (Hey, we're not responsible for OUR
stupidity, either...) Oh, and Merry Christmas!

Would you like to be able to get the 0day PLA? Now you can! I've started a PLA
mailing list. If you'd like to be added to the list or know of somebody else
who wouldn't mind being on the list (such as [email protected]), e-mail
me at [email protected] and
tell me in 1500 words or less, why I should add
you to the mailing list. ("SUBSCRIBE PLA" is acceptable) You'll be the first to
get every new issue, along with updates and the quarterly Phone Book. If you've
ever e-mailed me before, chances are that I already added you to the list. Also
I'm working on making a new PLA web page so if you want to check that out, try
http://www.blitzinfo.com/users/whombat/pla.html.

To help spread the holiday cheer I included an article that'll aid you in
defrauding Send-A-Song so you can send some holiday cheer to your loved ones
by phone. And to your hated ones, you can send LOTS of holiday cheer, again
and again, day in and day out for hours straight, song after song, note after
note until their ears bleed from hearing WAY too much Garth Brooks. So, enjoy
this issue of PLA and be sure to e-mail some holiday greetings to all the PLA
members, listed at the bottom of this issue. But first, read this transcript
of a phone call with the billing operator we had the other day:

WEST: US West Repair, how can I help you?
RBCP: Hi, I'm having a little bit of trouble on my line here.
WEST: Could I get your area code and phone number?
RBCP: Yeah, it's 503-xxx-xxxx
WEST: And what seems to be the problem?
RBCP: Well, early this morning I went out in my yard and you know the network
interface box that's way up by the roof? Well there was some kid up
there with a big orange phone plugged in so I picked up a brick and hit
him with it and he fell down and ran off but the orange phone is still
hanging out of my box
WEST: Was this a U.S.West employee up there?
RBCP: No, it was just some kid. I think he was one of those phone phreaks but
it's really messing up the reception on my phone and I tried hooking up
a wire coat hanger and some alluminum foil into the phone but it's still
pretty fuzzy sounding.
WEST: Okay, I can send somebody out there today to take care of it. You say
there's a phone hanging out of the box?
RBCP: Yeah, I would take it down myself but it's way up there by the roof and
I don't have a ladder. There also seems to be new wires running from the
telephone poll and into the box. I could yank those down but I don't
want to get electrocuted or anything.
WEST: Oh, there's not enough power in those to electrocute you.
RBCP: Yeah but there's also some Christmas lights running from the telephone
poll into the box and they're lit up and also the cable T.V. wire is
going in there and I just don't wanna touch anything.
ZAK: And then he hooked up a remote control to the phone and he's been
driving it all over the house!
RBCP: And he painted my network interface box red, too.
WEST: Am I speaking to William right now?
RBCP: Yes, this is William.
WEST: Could I get your street address, William?
RBCP: I can't really give that out because it's unlisted.
WEST: Well, I have it right here in front of me, I just need to verify that
it's correct.
RBCP: I read this newspaper article about fraudsters who will call you up and
try to get your pin number and everything.
WEST: Well, I work for U.S. West, I just need your address and you called me.
RBCP: The problem is that the four numbers in my address are the same as my
pin number and the article said that they'll try to trick you and say
they work for the phone company.
WEST: But you called me.
RBCP: You might have somehow reverse-engineered me to call you. Maybe you're
responsible for that kid up in my box.
WEST: (really pissed now) Sir, is your address 1584 Columbus, apartment C??
RBCP: Yes, that's the one.
WEST: Okay. (typing) You say that there's Christmas lights hooked up in
between your phone box and the telephone poll?
RBCP: That's right.
ZAK: And they replaced the phone handset with a bologny sandwhich.
WEST: I'll try to have someone out there before five today.

Are you tired of people changing their phone numbers, making them unlisted and
password protecting their phone accounts so that you can't bug the hell out of
them for weeks on end anymore? Well, that will no longer be a problem for you,
once you've obtained the FACS number in your area.

The FACS acronym means Facilities Administration and Control System, but most
Bell employes refer to it as either "Assignment" or "FACS", pronounced "fax."
This office can take any address or phone number in the area that it covers
and give you every single number that goes into the entire building/house.
This can be extremely useful for a variety of things, including...

Getting the unlisted number of someone who's just changed their number.

Finding out what the additional lines are going into someone's house.

Finding out what the data line is to a certain company or individual, such
as your schhool or place of employment.

Finding out every number of a business, including every one of their ring-
down numbers, data lines, pay phones on the premises, credit card lines,
ATM machine lines, lottery machine lines, etc, etc, etc.

Want to know more about someone? Get all of the neighbors' phone numbers in
his/her apartment complex, call them all and ask questions...

Tired of that asshole sysop? This will give you all his voice numbers.

The list could go on forever. Your local FACS number is a valuable thing to
have, no matter what you're using it for. And it's really easy to get ahold of
and use. Even easier than the CN/A and they don't require a password! (None
I've encountered, anyway.)

How To Get A FACS Number

Getting the FACS number is easy, yet tedious and you'll usually end up being
put on hold for a few years before you finally get it. All it requires is a
single phone call to the billing office. The residential billing office will
work just fine but it'd be best to go with the business billing office
because they answer the phone a lot quicker and are trained to be more
courteous. Residential offices treat you like shit. So, grab your phone book,
turn to the front few pages and look up the number for the Billing Office for
Business Accounts. Call it. (It really doesn't matter if you divert this call
or you dial direct.) Type a few random selections on their automated menu until
you get a real operator. The conversation would go something like this...

OPR: Southwestern Bell, how may I help you?
YOU: FACS? I need you to check on an address for me.
OPR: I'm sorry? You've reached the billing department.
YOU: What? This isn't Assignment?
OPR: Nooooo, this is the RMC.
YOU: Hmm, in my handbook it has you listed as the FACS. Do you happen to have
the FACS number there in your handbook?

(At this point, some of the more clueless employees will ask you exactly
what FACS is. Just explain that it's the number you use to find out what
lines are going into a certain address, if they ask.)

OPR: Let me check here for you...Are you with Southwestern Bell?
YOU: Yes, this is Greg Carson. I'm a lineman. Phear me.
OPR: ...Okay, the number I have here is 1-800-673-7286.
YOU: Isn't there a regular number in there that's not toll free?
OPR: Hmmmm...yes, there is. It's 210-xxx-xxxx.
YOU: Okay, great! Thanks alot, you putz, you just gave me the information I
need to cause alot of misery here in town! Bye!

And that's about all you have to do. If you're unlucky with one operator, try
right back with another operator. Usually the only problem I encounter is an
operator that doesn't know what FACS is or doesn't know where to find the
number for it, even if I explain to them it's in their handbook. A few of the
operators have actually called up the FACS office themselves and run the
addresses for me, then they gave me the number to FACS. U.S.West, you gotta
love 'em.

You're best off with a number that's NOT toll-free. Mostly because the FACS
toll-free numbers that I've dealt with only let you dial from within that
state, making the number useless after I moved. Besides, dialing the 800
number would mean a permenant record of your number on their bill. Try to get
the billing office to connect you to the FACS the first time, then ask the
FACS office what their direct line is, to make it easier for you to call.

Dealing With FACS Once You Have The Number

Okay, good job, you got the FACS number. The rest is easy. It seems that every
FACS's main security proceedure is to ask, "Do you work for us?" If you confirm
that you do work for them, you've passed the test and they'll tell you anything
you want to know. So far, in my experiences, this holds true for Southwestern
Bell, GTE, U.S.West and Ameritech. (GTE being the friendliest and most
helpful.)

The area that one FACS office covers varies with all the different phone
companies. When I dealt with Southwestern Bell, it only covered my city and
nowhere else but with Ameritech, the office covered an entire third of Illinois.
The GTE number I had covered the entire state. (But just the areas serviced by
GTE, of course.) If you reach a FACS office that doesn't cover the region
you're looking for, they'll almost always happily give you the number you need
to access the area you need and will sometimes connect you to it.

When you finally call FACS, you'll be pretending to work for the same company.
I usually claim to be a lineman because I can think of more excuses to their
questions. Sometimes I try being a billing office operator. Whichever you're
more comfortable with. The conversation will go somewhat as follows...

(FACS offices are notorious for making you hold forever. Better bring some
coloring books to play with while you wait. I've had to wait for over a half
hour before...)

FAC: Can I help you?
YOU: This is Paul from Ameritech, I just need for you to run an address for me.
FAC: Okay, which office are you with, Paul?
YOU: I'm not in an office, I'm working in the field in Bloomington, Indiana.
FAC: What is it, exactly that you need?
YOU: Well, I'm in a telco can here and I'm trying to sort out all the lines
for a building down the street. I just need you to read off all the cable,
pairs and numbers going into this address here.
FAC: Okay, and what's the address?
YOU: It's 1313 Mockingbird Lane SE

(Note: You have to know the exact address, including whether it's a Lane,
Street, Avenue, Etc. and if it's got a SE (SouthEast), NE, NW, SW in front
of it or after it. If one little measley thing is out of place, it won't
come up on their computer.)

FAC: (type, type, type!) Okay, I have three lines going into that address with
room to add one more line. I have 656-0284 on cable 10 and pair 758, then
656-2913 on cable 10 and pair 720, and 656-0831 on cable 10 and pair 402.
YOU: Great! Any other lines going into that address?
FAC: Nope, that's it.
YOU: Okay, then. Thanks alot and have a good day!

It's probably not a good idea to ever insult the FACS lady and/or harrass her
after you've gotten the information you need. This will just piss her off and
make her know she's been had, thus tightening security for everyone else who
calls after that, including yourself.

If you're wanting to check on multiple apartments in a single building, you'll
have to ask them to type in each individual address, such as 1313 Mockingbird
Lane SE Apartment 12, 1313 Mockingbird Lane SE Apartment 13 and so on. Some of
them have actually been nice enough to fax me the list of numbers if it's a
really large list. (You can have them fax it to a copy shop for you, or a
number diverted to your house.)

If you don't have their correct address or don't have an address at all, you
can still ask them to check a number for you. When they ask for the address,
give them an address which you know doesn't exist. Frustrated, they'll finally
ask you for the phone number and they'll run it off of that. Usually, you'll
also get the address this way, but not always. Sometimes they'll want you to
read off the work order number. Just tell them that you left that in your
truck and your truck is two blocks away and you're too lazy to go get it.