Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Balls To The Wall

Rule #637 for women who blog who want to be taken seriously - that is, to not be referred to as 'narcissistic brainless lactating cows' - is, apparently, this: do not have mental breakdown and threaten to quit blogging or take vacation from blogging or enter blogging rehab somewhere in Arizona or whatever.* Presumably because if you don't have the balls to keep blogging when you're feeling mentally and/or emotionally whipped, it just goes to prove that you don't have balls, period.

I'm not quitting blogging. I may not have balls - not the real, hairy, dangly kind, anyway - but I am attached to this here enterprise and have no intention of letting it go. I may, however, need to take a vacation. I'm just so tired. Caring for baby and toddler (is she a pre-schooler now? I can't keep track) while endeavoring to stay sane is draining all of my energies, and writing, while still necessary, is getting harder each day. That, and I have something big, something life-changing, that I need to write about, but I need my strength and my wits to do so, and those are well-depleted right now. I need to shore up my reserves. I need to feel strong. I need a rest.

I haven't decided whether or how I'll finesse that vacation. Maybe I don't actually need one. Maybe I'll just wake up feeling better and stronger tomorrow and it will all be unnecessary. Maybe the meds will kick in. Just know that if you turn up here one of these days and the smiling words that greet you are not my own, it's because I'm happily napping somewhere, blissfully unconcerned about my balls, or lack thereof.

I already knew I loved you..but to link my most favorite band ever...Oh, hbm and hbf you are my bad mother and father soul mates! Love love love you guys and heart FOTC! Yay! You rock harder than ever! Please, rest and come back to us stronger than ever!

Tell all asshats to fuck off. Being a mom is hard full stop. Balls will not help you to be a mom, let along a breast feeding mom. You need breasts. Strong lactating energy sucking life giving breasts. Being a mom AND anything else is a constant battle with fatigue, anguish, guilt, balance, energy, frustrations, joy, pain, relief. As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading you. I would rather have you well. We all need vacations. Take one. If you want a feminist take on science graduate work, I'm your gal. You have a blogosphere full of bloggy friends who will be honored to guest post for you. We will miss you and we look forward to your news when you return. Hugs, hugs and more hugs.

I hope you have a wonderful vacation and get plenty of rest. Eat some chocolate. Have wonderful muffins in the mornings, great soups from lunch, and a nice big juicy steak (or salad if you're so inclined) for dinner. And drink plenty of whatever makes you happy, be it wine or chocolate milk or a fruit smoothie. Good luck with getting yourself some rest!!

That poor pitiful excuse for a human being and writer-- I *dare* him to try to eat my goats. They'd devour him. You know, since they were breastfed by my narcissistic, brilliant, lactating self.--Goat Mama

we will all understand if you need to take a break HBM.and we will be here when you get back.breastfeeding requires so much energy.as do baby and pre-schooler/toddler.so rest rejuvenate,relax.focus some energy on yourself.sending you a big hug.

This time three years ago, I was swimming in your sea. Home all day with a fussy baby and a resentful toddler, I was exhausted, beaten and drained. I could barely speak a coherent sentence, let alone write essays of the brillance that you post here and elsewhere. And the fact that your churn out such good writing almost daily is nothing short of amazing. Congratulations on finding the words, through thick and thin. And enjoy your much-needed rest.

Listen, rest is for losers. Drugs are for winners! The post that come from our darkest times are some of the very best (or at least the most comment producing - which in the blog world seems to be the same thing). Bottom line, if I can write under a fucking horrendous deadline, with twins who still don't sleep through the fucking night then you, my friend, just don't have your priorities straight! Get over to your computer and take care of business, woman. there are people depending on you.

Everybody needs a break sometimes. Rest and restore yourself. Add me to the long line of people happy to guest post for you anytime.

I confess I did read the post from the troll-like creature the other day. I spent the rest of the day giggling over the claim in his comments that mommies like us really prefer to have the babies of "real men" like him than the respectful, considerate (and therefore emasculated) husbands we have chosen for ourselves. Firm grasp on reality, that one.

My heart is with you on this. I understand tiredness...exhaustion...sometimes you just gotta stop for awhile and take some time for you. I must say though that even in your down times, your posts have been so deep, honest and real that they touch my soul deeply...maybe because I am where your at right now....and it does suck.

I must admit I'm a bit sad to think about you not having new posts for a while as your writing has been so good lately. I guess that sounds like exhaustion is the key to successful blogging! But you have put to "paper", or screen I guess, so many emotions, and maybe actual places I remember being not so long ago. My 2nd daughter was born just 18 mos. after the first, and the new baby was colicky and not sleeping well. My oldest was not ready for the division of attention. Life was getting through the next hour, nursing the baby, watching the clock...I've never been able to describe some of the feelings, but in your stories here, I've found myself thinking, "yeah, I remember being there." And I've wanted to check back and see each day where you are and how you're doing. Thank you so much for sharing a small piece of yourself here. For me, things are better. It happened gradually. And in time you will be less tired, more in control, more at peace. Each day, more. So you are doing just the right thing to take a break. I'll miss your writing which has such heart. I'm thinking your page will be like those little shops that hang a sign in the window: "Will Return" when they step out for a walk or lunch or respite. Take good care and I'm looking forward to reading about where you've been when you open shop again.

TLC - if I was being influenced by the trolls, I'd be reluctant to take a break (break-taking proving their point, as it were, that girls can't take the heat). But I don't give a fuck what the troll thinks, so I'm taking my break. SOON.

hbm,your posts are so honest and wonderfully accurate, and we all love reading them! But, 2 small creatures is just such a giant task, and their well-being and yours in more important right now. So, have a wonderful rest and see you when you get back. And please, if it is possible, can you get some more help at home, with the children,house, etc. So sorry I'm too far away to help you!

Even though I've only just discovered you, I say, take that break and get some rest and don't worry about what some people will say about it. They don't count. I'll check back here regularly to see if you are here again. Take your time, though. I am patient.

Finally delurking...I missed all the birthday hoopla, but better late than never, right? For HBF: Acupuncture: a jab well done.

For you, thank you so very much for this web-site. I never know quite what I'll find when I click over, but I know it will always be well-written and heartfelt. And I LOVE MamaPop too, and eagerly await your posts, as well as those of your colleagues. Keep up the good work!

Okay, like I dolt, I said keep up the good work, knowing full well you JUST announced the possibility of taking a blogging break. Gah. So, keep it up if you feel like it, take a break if you want, and enjoy the beautiful nom-nom baby and toddler/pre-schooler!

Meh. The only reason any blogger threatens to close their blog or stop writing or run away, is to get some positive attention. They want their fans to say "No! We love you! Don't go!" It happens the same way at message boards too.

I hope that you're able to get some more rest. I know how draining it can get and how little time that can be left for much else aside from taking care of the kids. It gets so much better the older both of them will get. Then all you have to deal with is opinionated pre-teens and back-talk. Take care :D.

TAKE a rest. It is okay. I only have one child and he is 7 months old but I recall the 2-3 month time as being the absolute hardest mentally, etc ... because he was still on the 2-3 hours of sleep thing and I was at my wits end, on a diet of M&Ms and ... I don't even remember what I drank at that time. We'll be here when you return in a day or so or a week or so or a few weeks ... :)

I'm done. I'm done blogging in the sense that I have been and I couldn't give a rats ass who decides to not read. I can't do it. I'll still do SOMETHING, but it won't be like this. It probably makes me a lactating cow or something to someone but to the people at home? I'm needed.

Go rest. Rejuvenate. Fuck anyone who would think less of you for it. XO

that "lactating cow" comment is BEYOND offensive -- not least, of course, because cows are not brainless...! I can't believe someone could say such a thing to about a CHAMPION breastfeeding woamn (well, I can -- given, well, that whole mess).