Writer. Two small people. F*cked cancer. I like wine.

Bye bye long locks

I had my hair cut yesterday. It was long overdue for a trim, and was very long and endy. I’d booked Aveda’s junior stylist rather than one of the directors as usual, on the basis that this time next week it might all be falling out. In the back of my mind I was thinking I should have off more than usual, because even if it doesn’t fall out, the scalp cooling cap I’ll be wearing during chemo means it will still need handling with extreme care: no tying back, blow drying, products, hair cuts, no washing more than twice a week, use of a baby hairbrush.

Anyway, I got there and the stylist was fab, and I have come out with short hair for the first time since I was 17, when I had that dreadful cut in Salisbury. (Everyone’s had at least one of these: the haircut memory that makes you shudder.) My long red hair has always been one of my ‘trademarks’ and I was quite attached to it, so this is quite a big deal.

And guess what? I love it! I feel lighter, and it’s much less hassle. It’s quite liberating, letting go of something that you thought defined the way you look. I call this style ‘mum hair’, but actually it feels quite glam. DH, who has always loved my long hair, says I look classier (I’m now assuming he thought I looked like a straggle-barnetted crack whore before the Chemo Cut, rather than a flame-haired Pre-Raphaelite temptress…). Even better, DH had rung in advance and ‘had a word’ and they gave me a free manicure afterwards as a little treat.

Anyway, here’s the before and after shots – what do you think? (I should point out that the first photo was from my official Besparkle corporate shoot this summer with the fantastic Matt Pereira.)

Me, yesterday

Ta-dah!

I’ve got another photo too – my old school chum Fi sent me a box of cupcakes from Rebecca’s Cupcakes with my mantra on today. Such a lovely, thoughtful surprise that made me laugh out loud, thank you my gorgeous friend!

So we are all set for tomorrow now. Had a great meeting with my research nurse Celia this morning, who is fast tracking me through all the last-minute tedium and will be joining us tomorrow. It’s a long day – 8am to 6pm – on the ward, cos they have to put four different drugs in, one after the other, with observation periods in between. I’ve seen the ward and there are a lot of comfy chairs next to drip stands, with a telly, so I should be fine having a little natter with the other ‘cancer victims’ (ahem!).

And there’s more good news: all my scans are back and they are all clear, so we know for sure the caaancer hasn’t spread anywhere else, which I was a teeny bit anxious about for some reason.

DH is on nursery and school drop off duty with the kiddies’ dziadziu (Polish grandpa) tomorrow, bless him, and he’s also booked the last two tickets for the new Harry Potter movie this Saturday night while the smalls go back to Salisbury with my mummy and daddy for a weekend minibreak.

Yet another blessing today: a lovely friend came over and did a hypnotherapy session with me so from the start of the treatment I can imagine the chemotherapy as a beam of healing light that simply melts the tumours away like wax or molten metal so they evaporate. Much more useful than thinking of the treatment itself as invasive or scary. Thank you L!

Anyway, wish me luck! Big hugs and kisses and very grateful thanks for all your love and support to all my lovely friends and family. The horses are champing at the bit, and we’re off on the second stage of this awfully big adventure. You’ll probably hear the strains of me shouting ‘fuuuuuuck caaaaaancerrrrr’ as the carriage shoots off.

Wow Pinch – you look simply beautiful and those cup cakes look fab. Will be thinking of you tomorrow as you know and will text you during the day to find out how its all going although I am sure you and your mum will be nattering away. Lots of love my darling friend xxx