I don't want to live anymore

Lately all I feel is darkness and insecurities. I feel like nothing will ever fix itself and it will always be this way. My parents are near a breakup which leads me to think that if such a long relationship could end in divorce, mine could easily go down the same path. I gave up my dreams to stay with the love of my life and now I just feel like it will never happen, I no longer have dreams or things to look forward to. It's also absolutely disgusting how there's some guy walking around perfectly fine without a care in the world meanwhile I'm scared to walk to my car in the dark, I flinch when my boyfriend touches me sometimes and get scared when he's upset all because of this guy who's living his life perfectly fine as if he had done nothing. I don't walk around upset or crying all the time or anything, I look happy & a lot of things do make me happy, but deep down I just feel empty. Like nothing really matters and some nights I just want to take my life, what's the point of staying alive anyways? I look at my future and there's really nothing to look forward to. Some nights are worse than others I guess and tonight is one of them. I just want this feeling to go away.

I hear you. I understand what you are saying. Sometimes it does feel like things will never get better. Im sorry that your parents relationship is effecting the way you approach yours. As for the "guy walking around perfectly fine without a care in the world". Take the night off and I will hate him for you. I know hate seems like a violent word and unproductive feeling but just by relating to what you said, I hate him for you. And Karma will find him eventually.

The emptiness must be difficult, hollow and dark. I wish that lots of understanding people could get together and fill it up with hope and love and beautiful things so its not empty anymore.

I know you want the feeling to go away, I hope the night gets less dark for you. Look after yourself and if you haven't already, find a professional who can help you through the emptiness.

Hiya, I can relate to you.... My ex girlfriend looks perfectly fine too, she have a new boyfriend too which hurts me everytime I sees them. Fortunately I don't see her often. Another ex of mine also got married to her ex when we were in a relationship(or at least I think so). She meant everything to me, and she left me to marry another guy so yeah it hurts like hell.... Also, my parents got divorced, and know what? They have 5 kids. I'm the first son, they have other 3 boys and 1 girl. Imagine how long their marriage lasted to have that many kids. I know it is hard for you, but don't harm yourself. Believe me, it's temporary, I can't promise you that it won't hurt in the future. It will, you will just get stronger. I know the feeling "I don't want to get stronger, it fucking hurts". I had those too....Maybe still have. But life goes on. You need to see it in different way, if they can't be together, let them. As long as they're not bothering you with their problem. As long as they're happy, so be it. Acceptance, that's what I call it. About your ex, I'm sorry. i can really relate to that.... up until now, I no longer have suicidal urge, there is no drive at all to kill myself, not even the slighest, but the thoughts about myself dying, the picture, in my mind are still there.

You might want to try therapy, maybe psychiatrist or psychologist at least, it's nice to have someone who understand.... Meds will help you become "numb". I know some people don't want it because you won't be "yourself" but believe me, even if you feel numb, emotionless, you are still your own person. You can think, you know what to think, you know what you can do. You are still yourself. You will still have control over yourself. It will just lessen the pain, but the thought of the "bad" experience that hurts you will still there..... it just...the pain is much less.... So.... Please get help if you can...

Hugs.

Edit: Sorry I mis-understand it. English is not my native language, and I had to think twice, translating-understanding, so... pardon :|
Anyway, about your relationship, indeed it can break easily, but it is really DEPEND on you, whether you want it to end or not. It can be weak, it can be strong. It's about the two people in that relationship.... So...not much I can say to help...

Lately all I feel is darkness and insecurities. I feel like nothing will ever fix itself and it will always be this way. My parents are near a breakup which leads me to think that if such a long relationship could end in divorce, mine could easily go down the same path. I gave up my dreams to stay with the love of my life and now I just feel like it will never happen, I no longer have dreams or things to look forward to. It's also absolutely disgusting how there's some guy walking around perfectly fine without a care in the world meanwhile I'm scared to walk to my car in the dark, I flinch when my boyfriend touches me sometimes and get scared when he's upset all because of this guy who's living his life perfectly fine as if he had done nothing. I don't walk around upset or crying all the time or anything, I look happy & a lot of things do make me happy, but deep down I just feel empty. Like nothing really matters and some nights I just want to take my life, what's the point of staying alive anyways? I look at my future and there's really nothing to look forward to. Some nights are worse than others I guess and tonight is one of them. I just want this feeling to go away.

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I'm extremely confused, did your boyfriend attack you? who is this man that is following you?

I think you should talk to your parents about this and make it clear that you are not safe. You cannot do everything alone, seek help from those who love you and you will find that you can achieve the best results as a unit than as scattered individuals. Strength in numbers after all.
Stay positive!