My diary is going to be a chance for me to say a few words every day to keep myself on track and really get to grips with the way I think about food. I'm not expecting loads of replies as it's purely an opportunity for me to get my thoughts down in writing so hopefully I can make a change for life!! Please feel free to read and if you want to comment you'd be very welcome.

So, my goal is to change the way I think about food and exercise. I am totally weight and body image focused, and I have been since I was about 12 yrs old. What I have never really thought about it my health and general well being. What this has meant in the past is that I've suffered from an eating disorder throughout my 20s and on top of that I'm still obese and not healthy even with all my focus on it.

Tomorrow starts a new focus for 2014. I want to forget about weight and appearance and focus on being happy and healthy. I don't want to make food and activity decisions based on calories. I want to make decisions based on what makes me feel good and happy. Up until now I have been a comfort eater so food does give me a short-term buzz,so I need to really focus my decision on the long term to help separate out my needs from my wants.

My new regime has loose rules as I need to create routine but there will be no restrictions as this will make me want to rebel. No strict gym routines, no banned foods, no weighing, measuring etc!! No thinking about calories.

I just need to make food and activity decisions based on, how will this make me feel? what is the short-term gain, what us the long-term gain. How will I feel in an hour, a day, a week based on my decisions.

Wish me luck!!

Starting 180lbs

2nd February, 2014

Rozziebabe85

So today has been difficult. I have officially made tomorrow my start date for healthy eating. That means today has been my opportunity to eat badly.

Really not part of what I'm trying to achieve. I'm still on the dreaded diet cycle!!! No more......

I feel bloated and depressed. Tomorrow must be a change of mindset otherwise this will be the start of yet another diet I'm going to fail at.

Tomorrow's plan is to eat wholesome food and plenty of water. I have packed my Gym stuff - my only target is to spend 30 mins in gym as it will be late when I finish work.

Starting 180lbs

3rd February, 2014

Rozziebabe85

Day 1

Breakfast - Porridge Oats and LF Yoghurt

I had this in work and it was delicious. Probably should have eaten it before I left for work as it was a bit rushed.

Snack - Pear & Cappuccino

I was really thirsty all morning but I think was the hangover from the weekend.

Lunch - Tuna Salad with Light Mayo and Wholemeal Pitta.

I was so hungry at lunch, really wanted something sweet to finish off lunch but I was full.

Snack - Banana

So I got home early as left my gym stuff at home. Feel a bit bad and have made excuse that I slept badly last night. Have promised to go to gym tomorrow.

Snack - 2 crackers and Philidelphia light. (Don't think I needed this - it was a frenzy as my boyfriend hadn't even started cooking dinner) I should try a can of diet coke next time, and to leave the kitchen immediately!!!!!!

Dinner - Baked Salmon, Thai red curried veg, brown rice.

Not a bad day but wish I had exercised!! Didn't need Cappucino or Crackers!!

Starting 180lbs

3rd February, 2014

Rozziebabe85

So not quite going to plan!! I've already started obsessing about what I've eaten and what the calories are.

So focused on some unrealistic approach to eating. I'm stressing over the cals in veg and salad!! Ridiculous!!

Starting 180lbs

6th February, 2014

Phoenyx

Good luck on your journey. I'm trying a similar thing, trying to take the focus onto health rather than weight loss. Not easy is it? I've been sitting here this evening thinking I really want to eat something, even though I'm not hungry!

good luck and hope to read about your success!

6th February, 2014

steff79

Hey hun good luck on your journey it's very easy to get obsessed by the scales and calories!! what your trying to do it really good should take a leaf out of your book!! My day today has been not too bad but the last few days have been quite bad now am just maintaining need to add calories with healthy options and not biscuits chocolate and cake!! :p am pretty much gym obsessed these days to the point it pisses off my otherhalf abit too.. think he likes the way I look now but I spend an awful lot of time in the gym!! :p I had a blow out dinner on Saturday which actually made me feel quite bloated and **** I really enjoyed eating it but my stomach hurt afterwards!! these days really not used to that amount of food in 1 go!! despite being full didn't resist caramel cheesecake!! will follow you babes really helps to write down what you are eating I have literally written down everything from october to now with a gap for my holiday to thailand in november and a gap for christmas and new year ;) I actually found this site when I was pretty much on target since then have lost over a stone, now am actually having to eat alot more than I have been on gym days to stay the same and stop me dropping too low.. you can do this I generally dont count my veg and fruit calories btw just obsess about the rest good luck hun xx

15th February, 2014

Rozziebabe85

So, I started and then lost focus pretty much straight away. I lost this thread so started a new one under the main diary section.