Caity Weaver

Have you noticed that all your Frosted Mini Wheats have been tasting really rusty lately and that any time you eat a bowl your tongue gets sliced to ribbons and your mouth fills up with blood? Nothing new there but, in an odd coincidence, the Kellogg Company has issued a voluntary recall of 2.8 million boxes of frosted and unfrosted Mini-Wheats, due to "the possible presence of fragments of flexible metal mesh from a faulty manufacturing plant" in the cereal.

To see if your box is one of the affected, simply check the expiration date. Recalled boxes feature the letters KB, AP, or FK before a "Best If Used Before" suggestion of April 01, 2013 – September 21, 2013 (April 1st – July 29th for the 70 oz varieties of frosted Mini-Wheats, Jesus, you eat a lot of cereal). Also, if you go to check the date on your box and find you can't even lift it off the shelf because it's so heavy, it's probably full of metal.

So far no injuries have been reported as a result of the overenthusiastic iron enrichment, possibly because everyone who would have reported an injury died before they could reach the phone.

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If you think a product you purchased has been affected by the recall, you can call Kellogg's to arrange to have it replaced.

The Wall Street Journal notes that, in 2010, the company recalled a whopping 28 million boxes of cereal, including Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, Corn Pops, and Honey Smacks, that gave off a weird odor later attributed to faulty, smelly packaging.