“Murder, blood and paranoia are gonna make fine company
where you’re going. ‘Cause ladies, you’re going to hell.”

As the credits rolled on Hired
to Kill, I had an understanding of why Arrow Video might want to do a slick
new Blu Ray release of this film. It’s bad. It’s really bad. Notoriously
speaking, bad films have a fairly robust cult following and partnering that
with such an odd ball cast and cult director Nico Mastorakis, it only makes
this film ripe for cult film picking. However, even as a vulgar cinema auteur
myself, it was hard for me to ignore just how bad it was and accept it for its
entertainment value as a bad film. Particularly because Hired to Kill fails at having the two things needed to be a truly
iconic B-movie: charm and style. The release itself is pristine, Arrow Video
went balls out in its restoration and the behind the scenes material is
remarkably fun, but the film itself is going to be horrendously hit or miss for
action fans. Hired to Kill is the epitome
of a love it or hate it kind of B-movie.

Ryan (Thompson) is one of the best mercenaries around, but
he’s a bit hard to work with. When Thomas (Kennedy) needs someone to put
together an all-female team of soldiers to infiltrate an island, free a
revolutionary (Ferrer), and take down a dictator (Reed), he’s the only man for
the job. However, this job may not be as straight forward as Ryan thinks.

This movie has some kicks. Sort of.

At its basic levels, Hired
to Kill is about as exploitative as action films get in concept. It’s a
gimmick, that being a sort of weird hybrid of Wild Geese and a female spin on the Magnificent Seven, done with the budget of a straight to home video
affair and lathered with enough silly, eye rolling execution to keep the
unintentional laughter flowing and the cringes happening when it tries to be serious.
Mastorakis remains something of the Greek king of exploitation and while he’s
only credited as a co-director on this film, his vague directorial fingerprint
is felt throughout it in some of its patchy approaches to its subject matter.
By the time 1990 rolled around, the action genre was certainly speeding towards
becoming a parody of itself as spectacle became a focus and Hired to Kill showcases the focus on
entertainment over substance. Very little of the film feels fresh, as I
mentioned it feels like the low budget bastard child of Wild Geese and Magnificent
Seven, and the film seems geared to try and get the audience cheering than
delivering a thoughtful or even sensible film. Scenes of random “action clichés”
like martial arts training, a helicopter fight, and even one of the most
awkwardly executed sex scenes I’ve ever seen in an action film, litter Hired to Kill. In this sense, if you are
an audience member looking for a very silly and illogical action flick then Hired to Kill will suffice to curb that
craving with its outrageous characters, half assed action set pieces, and
forced plot progressions.

Vulgar auteur cinema does thrive on making the B-grade
elements of films like Hired to Kill
into some sort of art form and while I can foresee many fans digging into the “art”
of this one, it was hard for me to find it more than abrasive in its attempts
at humor and charm. In many ways, this film utterly drops the ball when it
comes to what might have been some intriguing aspects to its core story and approach.
An all-female mercenary squad led by a sexist male character? Definitely
potential to showcase a sort of feminist approach to the cheesy action films of
the era, but instead Hired to Kill
decides to give the female characters weak backstories, no character arcs, and
only decides to put them on display as their model cover instead of their
badass warrior modes. How about an intriguing plot line where our main
protagonist must decide whether or not the money or the moral choice is the
right one? Well, Thompson delivers a character with as much charm as a dirt
clod and a stiffness that gives his jawline a run for its money only making that
decision seem like a forced plot progression. This happens again and again as
the film repeatedly takes intriguing concepts, ineptly tries to execute them,
and stumbles in delivering an action film that has no real depth or even
memorable characters – even for a B-movie.

I will always see him as an alien bounty hunter. Thanks X-Files.

If there is anything really worthy about Hired to Kill, it’s that the film is
good for a handful of unintentional laughs. The interviews with director
Mastorakis and Thompson on the special features show case a film of two sides,
a serious one about creating a film that would hold up and make a bit of cash
and one that was silly and played up its ridiculousness. Both can be
entertaining on their own merits, but the problem with the film itself is that
it has trouble at blending the two sides into something worthy of the robust
release it’s getting from Arrow Video. Hired
to Kill will have its fan base. With the cast and the cult director, that
much is almost a guarantee and there is certainly a fan base out there for a
film like this one and if you like films so bad they’re entertaining, you
should probablygive this a go. However, for this reviewer Hired to Kill was just another B-grade
attempt at cashing in on the action film craze of the time period and not much
more than that.

ARROW VIDEO FEATURES:

Brand new 2K restoration of the film, approved by writer-director Nico Mastorakis

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Osaka Asian Film Festival 2018

Welcome To Blood Brothers!

Here at Blood Brothers we, cult fan brothers Eric and Matt, are dedicated to bringing reviews to some of the worlds best (and worst, depending on your taste) cult like films from around this large globe. Whether it be Horror, Science Fiction, Kung Fu, or any other cult like genre - we are your first and last stop for all your review needs. Unapologetically kvlt.

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