There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.–Thomas Wolfe

Beautiful - Just Beautiful

I started with Trinidadian dishes for obvious reasons then branched off into other cultural dishes…

I happen to know how to cook now, and given my successes in the kitchen, I often ask myself why I didn’t commit myself earlier to learning this art. It’s a blessing to me and the ‘wild animals’ for whom I cook for. I now feel that I have another valuable thing to take with me into that first and last relationship I will ever have with one young lady…marriage.

I’ve been sharing my cooking stories with quite a few chicks lately (the format these conversations took…some may call it boasting…others may see it as “just doing what men do”) and some of the responses I’ve gotten from some of these women were shocking…

Here’s how one went the other day –

Me: I made pelau on Sunday…I’m not gonna lie, it was the lick.

Her: Wow that’s so cool, so when are you gonna cook for me?

Me: Next time imma bring some for you to munch on.

Her: Greeeeat. I’d offer to cook you something but I don’t know how to cook.

Me: What? But you’re a woman…what’s wrong with you?

Her: What do you mean what’s wrong with me…just because I’m a woman, you just assume that I should be able to cook?

Me: YES!!! You willy, I expect all women to know at least how to prepare a meal for themselves.

Her: You’re so sexist. Women aren’t only good for cooking and cleaning.

Me: lol…when did I say they were ONLY good for cooking and cleaning? I believe I said that I believed that all women should know how to at least cook a meal for themselves. I mean…if you don’t know how to cook…you’re pretty useless as a woman…it’s not as if you know how to cook but your job sees to it that you don’t have time to cook…so you rely on someone else’s cooking during the week and the weekend you whip something up…but you not knowing how to cook at all? Yea…you’re useless as a woman.

Her: Shut up…not every girl knows how to cook.

Me: True true…quite a few women can’t cook as well as others…but they still see it as important to keep banging out meals for themselves, their partners and their children…are you saying that you’ll be relying on other people’s food to feed you and the people in your house for the rest of your life?

Her: Why can’t the man cook though?

Me: lol you muppet…the same way you’re suggesting that the man learn to cook…the same way you can pick up your lazy self and learn how to cook. Look at you looking to push the responsibility of feeding the family onto the man whilst you chill there on your bum bum. Can your mother cook?

Her: Yea she does all the cooking.

Me: Does she moan about cooking?

Her: Sometimes yea.

Me: She doesn’t moan to your dad does she…he’s probably not around is he?

Her: Shut Up…yes he’s a wasteman, he’s not living with us…

Me: So why don’t you look to relieve your mother with some of her burdens by learning how to cook and then sharing the cooking responsibilities with her?

Her: You’re so rude man shut up.

Me: I’m saying though, you’re telling me that she moans about cooking for you and your brothers…yet she still does it…she still makes sure that it’s done…you know why?

Her: Why?

Me: lol da hell? Because she knows how important it is for children to have a proper home cooked meal from their loving mother. She keeps on cooking for y’all because it’s one of the many way she shows you how much she loves you. You’re half Nigerian and half Jamaican and you don’t know…and don’t care about cooking? Bloody hell you’re useless as a woman.

Her: Look yea shut your mouth, when I’m done uni imma get a top job and hire a maid to do all that cooking for me.

Me: lol…wow…it gets worse the more you talk doesn’t it.

Her: Look Brent yeah f$*k off init.

Me: What?

Her: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to swear, but you’re getting on my nerves with all this cooking sh*t.

Me: lol…you can cuss but can’t cook huh…never mind.

Her: So are you bringing me something that you cooked next week still?

Me: Yeah…if I remember.

…

Urrrrrrrrrrrr

Listen.

I know men in general take it for granted that most women should already know how to cook because their mothers would have instilled in them the importance of knowing how to cook if it is they are looking to start a family later on in life…

But common young ladies…you can’t possibly look at cooking as a chore that you can decide whether you want to learn it or not…

It should be seen as a MUST…

Just like how y’all see it as a MUST that y’all spend a bucket load of pound coins on your hair…nails and other bodily accessories…Because that’s “just what women/females do”.

Y’all are getting all pretty and making sure it’s maintained because you want the best possible type of young man to be attracted to you and appreciate all that effort that you’ve put in...

How much MORE wonderful would your C.V look if it had “A serious/passionate cook” sitting right there under “Hip Hop fanatic” and “I’m a Gooner and will be for life”?

This Is How It Should Be

…

Look yeah…

Some of you chicks NEED to fix up and pick up a cook book.

Bare of these white girls I’ve been talking to recently are telling me they cooked jerk chicken and rice for their man the other day…

And this Nigerian and Jamaican young lady is telling me she…

Wasteman

It’s all nonsense bollocks really.

Then it’d be that same black girl who’d turn around and scorn those white girls for “teefing all their men”…

Such nonsense…

Concentrate on getting your “snares” up to scratch and those types of foolish statements wouldn’t be chilling in your vocal passages.

Lol imagine…

I’m getting vex having read this back…

A woman who can’t cook?

Really?

Bloody hell.

P.S.

I’m not saying that women who can’t cook are useless to all men…”just me init” =D

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. – Honore de Balzac

Woman - Made Her Mind Up

Can a man forgive a woman that cheats on him?

I’d have to say… “yes he could…but I wouldn’t advise it son.”

Why?

…

Because things will never be the same again.

She’ll never love you in the same manner that she loved you before she began casting her eyes elsewhere.

She’ll never feel that she has to regain your trust in order for things to “return to the way they were”…

She’ll never seek your sincere forgiveness for the betrayal that she’s committed.

She’ll never do these things because once a woman cheats…it means she’s moved on. She’s severed all ties to what was…and she’s now intrigued/captivated with what can be.

This decision however isn’t made lightly – she’d ponder over it for days, weeks, even months. She’d employ the accountant within her and run through every single minute detail of the relationship…explore each murky alleyway…venture down paths, retracing her footsteps looking for any clues…searching for anything and everything that could help her fix what she felt was currently broken…

If having done that, she finds no clause…no loophole…she mentally records her findings in order to find closure, during which time she does one of two things…

She seeks an audience with her man and attempts to tell him…”I think we’ve reached the end of the road here babes, I value our friendship too much to stay with you and not love you as a girlfriend should love a man, maybe we need to take a break….”

She cheats on him.

Now…the cheating wouldn’t happen as spontaneous as her coming to the conclusion that love had run out of their relationship on Wednesday…and by Saturday night she’s in the arms of Leon from Leytonstone…

Spontaneous, no thought, no commitment, no love just lash…movements is predominantly a male trait…NOT a woman’s.

Know that if she did look to lace Leon from Leytonstone…she would have known him weeks…maybe months earlier.

…

“Wooiii, your figure looks amazing in that dress”

“Girls like you always seem to be taken, I bet you’re with a dude who doesn’t even deserve you”

“Can you cook as good as you look though?”

…

…are all comments that Leon may have dropped in her ears throughout that period…this coupled with the languid affections of her boyfriend…sowed tiny mustard seeds within her mind’s fertile soil…

We all know what happens when seeds are watered with silent tears and adorned with the warmth of affectionate comments that are shined on them…

New Hope - Something Promising On The Horizon?

…and on that night when she tops up her oyster card at Leytonstone train station…and then waits for the 58…that seed would have graduated…

She Loves Another

…

On that night that she reminded Leon of his name via a whisper/moan in his ear…

There would be NO thought/feeling of guilt/shame. Why?

Because knowing that things would never be the same with her man…she began planning for her future.

Once a woman falls out of love with a man…you’ll seldom hear these excuses/reasons filter through her lips…

“It was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

“Please forgive me…it was just a one night stand, I don’t love him.”

“It meant nothing, it’s only you I have feelings for.”

There would be no need for her to offer up a lie…If she’s cheated…that love is lost…and no effort of recovery will be made be her to find it…

She’s secretly been seeing it in another for quite some time.

………

On the flipside – When a man cheats…it’s the filthy mindless, spontaneous vagrant within him that commits that act…

The act itself, to him, doesn’t signify that he no longer loves the woman he is currently with (as it does when the woman cheats)…

No matter how much he knows it’d hurt the woman if she ever found out (some argue that that’s why men commit so much time and energy into become a ninja…because of how much it’d hurt the woman she loves if she found out…others argue that if he really did love her…he’d either NOT cheat…or just tell her that he’s got a problem lol…YEAH!!!).

…

When he says

“It was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

“Please forgive me…it was just a one night stand, I don’t love her.”

“It meant nothing, it’s only you I have feelings for.”

…

It is possible that he actually means it…at least…that’s what he believes…if he feels any conviction at all…he might have convinced himself that it was his heart that forced that conviction of guilt…if that’s the case, then he might tell that “filthy, mindless, spontaneous vagrant” to…

“Get the f*&% off my street corner”…

It is possible after that, that he may truly come to appreciate who he nearly let slip…

lol - Ok. Sure.

lol.

Yeaaaaaah!!!!!!!

…

In many cases…what he’s really done whilst she was listening…was to tell him…

“Get the f*&% off my street corner”…

…whilst slipping him a lil pre made picnic basket with food, clothes, enough money for a motel for a month…and a hand written note saying…

“…sorry about the mean things I said earlier…I didn’t really mean it…the wife made me say it…I’mma holla at you in a few weeks time cuzzy.”

…

Men are terrible at this cheating thing…

So terrible…

But the difference is that when it’s discovered they make the effort to fix things…either due to pride or the realisation that they had something good and it might have been ruined on something that meant NOTHING to them compared to what they have…

Unlike when a woman cheats…

When a woman cheats…

It’s over…Call it…there’s NO going back…

No getting up…

Love’s done.

NB. All women are not like this…there are the exceptions (as always) who cheat for other reasons .