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Alright, Gleeks — before we get started I need to clarify something for you. We all know that there are plenty of other Glee recaps out there in the interwebs, but this is what make Hollywood.com's version so different: I love this show. There it is, plain and simple.
I’m not going to mock the actors, diss the songs, or make snarky comment on how “unrealistic” a scene is. Come on y’all, it’s Glee. It’s supposed to be unrealistic. We watch it because it’s a way for us to escape from our stressful, boring, music-free lives. With that said, let’s get started! In my recaps you’ll find quick (and hopefully fun) blurbs to help get you caught up on the gleevents. I’ll also be sprinkling in some “Side-Notes” which are my own thoughts, questions, or opinions on what just happened. It’s going to be a wild ride this season, and I’m here to fill you in on what you missed and to help get you excited for the storylines to come.
So Here's What You Missed On Glee:
NYADA Ain’t So Nice: The episode opens on Rachel (Lea Michele)’s first dance class, and right away we see that her new teacher Cassandra July (Kate Hudson) is definitely not someone you want to mess with. After verbally assaulting a girl by the name of “muffin-top,” Cassandra quickly turns on our beloved Rachel, nicknaming her “Little Miss David Schwimmer.” Ouch! Rachel’s rude awakening gets even worse when Cassandra gives her a big New York City welcome: “You suck.”
When we next see her, Rachel admits that she hasn’t heard from Finn (Cory Monteith) in two months! “Maybe he’s just trying to give me the space I need to make it on my own,” she ponders. (Side-Note: I’m sorry, but where oh where are you Finn? What, have you neglected your shining star? I hate to say it, but not cool, love.) Rachel is tired of people making fun of her extensive nighttime rituals, so she's started showering at 3 AM. And through the steam of the shower we meet our newest and nakedest eye-candy of the episode: Brody Weston (Dean Geyer). There’s no denying that he and Rachel instantly click. He gives her a mini pep-talk and then makes it extremely clear that he is straight.
(Side-Note: I just want to make it clear that yes, I do ship Brody. But not Brody and Rachel, no way. I’m a fan of Brody and Leanne. Leady? Broanne? Whatever, I dig it. Plus this new relationship will help keep the Finchel fans from wanting to kill him, something that would make me very very sad.) The next day we see Rachel telling Kurt (Chris Colfer) about her new NYADA encounter, but when her best gay asks if she likes Brody Rachel quickly responds, “No, you know I’ll always love Finn.” Breathe y’all.
The New Directions Have A New Attitude: Jacob Ben Israel (Josh Sussman) is back (sporting a shorter doo) and introducing us to McKinley High’s newest celebrities. Let’s break it down, shall we? Artie (Kevin McHale) is currently tight with the jocks and chummy with the Cheerios. Sam (Chord Overstreet) is quite pleased with his newfound fame and a flock of giggling girls. (Side-Note: It’s kind of a bummer that he spent all of season three trying to woo back Mercedes and she’s not even mentioned.) And Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) has got a tude! She practically assaults her personal assistant with a non-organic banana and we quickly learn that although she still loves Mike, she is now officially a single lady for the first time in two years! Oh and she now has a tattoo that she had to change from “Mike Chang Forever” to “Make Change Forever.
Later in the choir room, Mr. Schue (Matthew Morrison) introduces the newest member of the New Directions: Vocal Adrenaline’s MVP Wade Adams, aka Unique (Alex Newell). Rather than welcoming the newbie with open arms, Blaine (Darren Criss) and Tina rather rudely say that they don’t need any more “stars” in the group. Boom! And the gauntlet is thrown! Blaine, Tina, Unique, and Brittany (Heather Morris) are battling for the title of the “New Rachel” and Artie is putting his director skills to the test, because they’ve appointed him as the official judge. We are now treated to the first song of the fourth season of Glee: “Call Me Maybe.” (Side Note: Yay for Brittany singing and Tina getting time to shine!”)
The Music Is Still Amazing: Cassandra shows up for dance class a wee bit intoxicated, and after Rachel calls her out in front of the entire class, the sexy teacher proves that she’s still got it with a jaw-dropping mash-up of “Americano” and “Dance Again.” (Side-note: Does Kate Hudson age? Like, at all? She’s flawless.) Bad move, Miss Berry. Over at the Glee club auditions we finally get to meet newbie Jake Puckerman (Jacob Artist) and he blew everyone away with his version of “Never Say Never” by the Fray. (Side-Note: Artist told me that was the song that he originally auditioned with in front of Ryan Murphy.) After Mr. Schue cuts his song short, Jake throws a minor temper tantrum (he throws a microphone stand) and we can really see the resemblance to his older brother. Now it’s time for our first kinda sorta duet of the season. Rachel at NYADA and Marley (Melissa Benoist) at McKinley are both singing “New York State of Mind” and my oh my, it is just lovely. NEXT: Marley's Got a Secret!
Marley’s Got A Secret: In the lunch room, we get the first glimpse at newbie Marley, and a big look at the glee club members (I’m looking at you Artie, Blaine, Tina and Sam) acting like pretentious brats, making Unique feel like an outcast, and making fun of the new lunch lady’s weight. Unfortunately that new lunch lady is Marley’s momma, and she is without a doubt the second sweetest character we’ve met on Glee. (Side Note: Ms. Pillsbury (Jayma Mays) is first.) We soon learn that Marley left her old school because she was severely teased by her peers for being the lunch lady’s daughter. Her mom is determined to give Marley a new chance to be “popular” so she sews designer labels into her hand-me-down clothes and keeps their relationship a secret.
Later we see Kitty (Becca Tobin —the new Cheerio, trying to be a mix of Santana and Quinn) and some random jocks once again making fun of Marley’s mom in the lunchroom. After a particularly snarkey comment from Sugar (Vanessa Lengies), Marley finally admits the truth to her newfound “friends” and storms off. The always wonderful Sam explains to Marley that he knows what it’s like to have a family that struggles financially, and he tries to coax Marley to stay in the club.
And The "New Rachel" Is: Blaine! That’s right, Artie makes his choice and he decides that the former Warbler is the best one to lead the New Directions to a second National victory. According to Artie, Brittany was a “close second.” Speaking of Brittany, she finally reveals some desperately wanted Brittana scoop. Santana (Naya Rivera) is currently extremely busy with cheerleading practices, so she and Britney have been doing their best to keep up communication. However, apparently “it’s hard making out on Skype. You can’t really scissor a webcam.” Best of luck to you with that, Brittany!
Back to Blaine — after a short but oh-so sweet talk with his beau Kurt, Blaine decides to use his newfound position as head gleek to perform “It’s Time” in the quad, complete with Cheerios, jump ropes, cups, and a group of slightly random kids and some well-placed male dancers. (Side-note: I cherish Klaine. I literally started tearing up when Blaine was singing to Kurt because they have such a kind and honest relationship. When they hugged it was cute but to be quite honest, that moment needed a kiss.)
Kurt's Stuck In A Rut: He’s working at the Lima Bean, waiting to start community college classes and going back to McKinley more often than Puck probably did during his entire high school career. After meeting Coach Sue’s (Jane Lynch) new baby Robin and getting hit with one of Kitty’s well-placed verbal claws, he begins to realize that hanging around his alma matter is not necessarily the best thing for his future. Blaine’s amazing music-filled blessing to leave for New York was enough to get him to the airport but it was Kurt’s amazing father Burt (Mike O’Mally) who got him on the plane. (Side-Note: This is by far my favorite father/son relationship of all time. Also, I’m totally still crying.)
The Final Five: We gleeks know that a lot happens in the last five minutes of every episode, so here is your wrap-it-up rundown: The New Directions have a huge group epiphany when apologizing to Marley, and realize that the quest for popularity was not worth becoming mean-spirited snobs. Kitty kicks them out of the popular table, and the jocks promptly slushy Marley and Unique. Welcome to Glee, you two! Mr. Schue reads Jake’s file, and finds out that he is Noah’s younger half-brother. But when he tells Jake that he needs to lose the attitude, he says no thanks and declines the offer to join the club. (Side-Note: Nooooo! Jake, come back! I love you!)
Marley belts out a truly beautiful version of “Chasing Pavements” and slowly but surely starts to realize that she finally has a group of friends who care about her. Meanwhile in New York Rachel finally admits to Kurt that she is having a miserable time in New York. She sobs into her phone, “I lied, I’m not okay.” And just like the ending to a perfect love-story, Kurt tells Rachel to turn to around: Her best friend is there waiting for her, and they are ready to tackle NYC together.
Most Heart-Warming Moment: The smile on Rachel’s face when running into Kurt’s arms.
Most Heart-Breaking Moment: Watching Burt and Kurt say goodbye at the airport.
Quotables:
“No your name is muffin-top. And from now on it’s rice cakes and ipicap or cut off a butt cheek because you need to drop a few.”—Cassandra
“C U Next Tina!” —Jacob Ben Israel
“In case you were wondering, which you were, I’m straight.”—Brody
“I had a song in my heart Blain Warbler and you killed it. Now I have a dead song in my heart and pretty soon the corpse of my dead heart song will start to smell.”—Brittany
“If you’re not scared it just means you’re not sticking your neck out far enough.”—Burt Hummel
Vote it out:
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://polldaddy.com/poll/6533733/"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;What was the best song of the night?&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;NEXT: Shipper Scoop!
Shipper Scoop:
Finchel: At last night’s Glee premiere Lea Michele was all smiles when talking about the highly-anticipated Finchel reunion. “Aww, well she’s so excited to see him and he comes to New York,” she revealed. Even though Rachel is looking forward to their reunion, she also warns fans that it’s going to be a “tough” one. “I think that he’s been through a lot, and she’s been through a lot, and they’re doing their best,” she said. Many fans will not be pleased to hear that the formerly engaged couple has not spoken in over two months. However, Michele offered up some hope: “Well, his explanation is understandable.” Hmm… color me curious.
Jarley: We saw that Sam and Marley had a sweet moment in the McKinley halls, but we also clearly saw that she was checking out our baby Puck earlier in the episode. I chatted with the always delightful Chord Overstreet, and he’s says fans should get pumped for Jarley, “I think probably the best thing for the show is Jake and Marley because they’re a little bit younger…you can see that relationship go through a bunch of different turns.” Plus, we already know that they make an adorable couple.
Fabrevans: So now that we know that Jarley is officially a go, many fans have been hoping that Sam and Quinn (Dianna Arron) can still rekindle their old flame. Overstreet agrees. “I sure hope so — I mean I love doing scenes with Diana," he said. "She’s absolutely awesome, and I love her to death.” Many fans were completely freaking out when Agron was not in any of the new promo pictures, but Overstreet teased that our favorite Yale student is heading to Lima. “Right now she’s traveling back and foth from France, but I think she’s coming back pretty soon. All the seniors that have graduated are kind of coming in and out. You never know what could happen, but I would love to do more stuff with Diana.”
Wemma: When I caught up with Matthew Morrison Wednesday night, I made it very clear that I had a mini-heart attack when Emma was completely absent in the premiere. The Glee club vet was quick to respond. “I would too!" he said. "She needs to be in every episode.” Preach! Morrison said that our favorite guidance counselor will be returning soon — “Probably in the second episode.” However, I did receive some rather unfortunate news. When asked if Mr. Schue has any solos lined up, Morrison responded: “Not as of yet. It’s okay to cry. You can have my shouldered to cry on.” And, obviously, I took full advantage of that. Although Morrison wants to be singing, there is one thing that he wants to most of all this season — a wedding. “I would love for [Will and Emma] to get married,” he said. And I just so happened to guess the big date! Check back Wednesday in Leanne’s Spoiler List to get the full details on what to expect from Wemma this season, including when we’ll be hearing those wedding bells chime!
What did you think of tonight’s premiere? Are you excited for your favorite couples to be reunited? Who had the song of the night? Shout it out in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
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Wow. Just wow. The season opener of Glee just finished, and I'm now ordering flowers and candy for my computer as a thank you for playing me those 45 minutes and 23 seconds of pure joy. It's good you guys, it really is.
To help share the love, Hollywood.com has created the ultimate list every gleek should read before seeing next week's season four premiere. We've gathered the top ten morsels from "The New Rachel" so you can now devour them to help curb your Glee appetite. Ready, set, read! (Spoilers Ahead!)
1. Shipper Update: Communication has been severely lacking between Finchel, but Rachel (Lea Michele) remains optomistic. Santana (Naya Rivera) and Brittany (Heather Morris) still talk all the time but "it's hard making out over Skype." Agreed. We also find out (in the first five minutes) the fate of the longest running couple on Glee — Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) and Mike (Harry Shum Jr.). Bonus: One of them got a tattoo.
2. Cassandra July (Kate Hudson) will smack you in the face with her fierceness. No, seriously, my cheek is all red and my eye is kind of twitching but it was totally worth it. Her mash-up of “Americano” and “Dance Again” is just too amazing for words. It almost makes up for how brutally mean she is to Rachel. Almost.
3. While there are many new faces in the episode, there are some that you won't see at all. Be prepared for a hole in your heart because Finn, Emma, Quinn, Santana, Mike, Puck, Mercedes, and Rory are no-shows. Sigh.
4. I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible — Tina is kind of a bitch brat. Our favorite McKinley High reporter even called her a "C U Next Tina." Yikes! The fame of being national champs has changed a lot of the glee club members, and they seem to have lost their sense of empathy. Hopefully they find it soon, because rooting for the snobs is not nearly as fun as cheering on the underdogs.
5. Oh hot dayum — Brody (Dean Geyer) be looking fine! Not only is his body amazing (thank you, shower scene) but he's actually a genuine person and a huge support system for Rachel right now. My apologies Finchel fans, but this guy is going to be some serious competition in the fight for Rachel's heart.
6. Kurt (Chris Colfer) and Blaine (Darren Criss) are everything that a relationship should be: mature, kind, and compassionate. After the sweetest talk ever, Blaine surprises his man with an over-the-top (but also awesome) performance to give Kurt his blessing to leave for New York. Please have at least three boxes of tissues near you when Kurt says goodbye to his dad — you'll use them all.
7. The battle royale performance of "Call Me Maybe" will actually make you like the ridiculously overplayed song again! Plus, our beloved Brittany really gets time to shine, which is great because her singing makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
8. Marley (Melissa Benoist) is adorable, and I want to hold her tight and never ever let go. She and Sam (Chord Overstreet) strike up a sweet bond by the end of the episode, but it's obvious that she has the hots for our new young Puckerman. Not to mention, this girl has got an amazing voice that her mama calls "magic in her throat."
9. We finally get to meet the newest McKinley High bad boy, Jake Puckerman (Jacob Artist), and he's definitely channeling his older brother in this first episode. After hearing his audition for the New Directions ("Never Say Never" by The Fray) you'll be stammering this out to your TV screen: "Um, hi Jake. Here's my heart. I just really really want you to have it."
10. Rachel's still got it. She may not be up to par with her dancing skills, and she's totally suffering from a severe case of I Miss Everyone-itis, but sheesh that girl can still silence a room and give you chills with her voice. The episode ends on an amazing note for our favorite new New Yorker, and trust me — you're gonna want a lot more of those tissues. These ones are definitely happy tears, though.
Are you on scoop overload, gleeks?! What are you most looking forward to in next week's premiere? Sing to us in the comments below!
Follow Leanne on Twitter @LeanneAguilera
[Photo Credit: FOX]
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A group of quirky, attractive late twentysomethings living together in a trendy urban setting. It's an M.O. that's nothing short of standard in the sitcom world. So how does one take a familiar premise and turn it into something that feels fresh and exciting? To start, you have Liz Meriwether pen one of the funniest shows in recent memory and then you cast the likes of Zooey Deschanel, Max Greenfield, Jake Johnson, Lamorne Morris, and Hannah Simone — and voilà — you've got the Emmy-nominated hit New Girl. The man responsible for that second critical ingredient is Seth Yanklewitz, FOX's Vice President of Casting, whose resume includes The Hangover, Eastbound &amp; Down, Rock of Ages, Going the Distance, and, of course, the New Girl pilot. During an interview with Hollywood.com, Yanklewitz said the key to casting for an ensemble show like New Girl was simple: "Keeping it truly authentic and not having it feel like caricatures. It might be tweaked a little, but we all know a Jess, we all know a Schmidt, we all know these characters. We have them in our group of friends and I think that's what allowed people to relate so much. " It also helps to have a cast that clicks just as much off-screen as they do on-screen. "Everyone fell into an amazing groove.... They had instant chemistry and everybody realized how great the show was from reading the pilot," Yanklewitz said of the ensemble. "This is a group of people that all actually really like each other and they all just want each other to be the best they can be every day." It's that same supportive, creative environment that helped earn Emmy nominations for leading lady Deschanel and supporting breakout star Greenfield. Greenfield's nod in particular is a special one for Yanklewitz, a nominee himself this year (alongside New Girl's current casting director Anya Colloff). "[It's] the most beautiful validation for me as a casting director, and for him as an actor who really has just worked so hard at his career. It's beautiful to see someone who works hard get their due." Yanklewitz met Greenfield "8 years ago on a general," but told Hollywood.com that when he read the New Girl pilot, he knew the 31-year-old actor would be right for the part of Schmidt. It turned out to be more than a hunch since Greenfield, as Yanklewitz put it, "owned" the audition. And from there, a GIF-friendly fan-favorite sensation was born. Of course, while stars like Greenfield make the process easy for a casting director, Yanklewitz and co. were faced with a challenge early on for New Girl. Damon Wayans, Jr., who appeared in the pilot as the third male roommate known as Coach, had to leave the show when ABC picked up his other series Happy Endings for a second season. Rather than reshoot the pilot, they opted to create an entirely new character, Winston, who would be introduced in the second episode. It was a choice that the show not only poked fun at later in the season ("Be nicer to Coach or he's going to take off and live with other white people," Johnson's Nick said in a hilarious video confessional during an episode) but one Yanklewitz agreed was the only choice for the show to overcome the hurdle. "I think the smartest thing was that they made it a new character. The audience for this show is smart, they just couldnt get away with [recasting Coach]." Luckily, even with the shakeup, Yanklewitz and co. already had actors on their radar from the casting process, including the man who would eventually place Winston: Morris. He explained, "Lamorne was supposed to test for the Coach role and got an offer on a CBS pilot during that pilot season and we just couldn't make the offer at that moment. Luckily that show didn't pan out so when we got Damon and the whole Happy Endings thing panned out, we had already known Lamorne from the process. It was sad to see Damon go, but I think it worked out. Those moments could go horribly wrong." Perhaps just as high wire an act as creating and casting a new character is stunt and guest casting. From shows like Glee to Will &amp; Grace, which relied heavily on guest stars, New Girl has managed to find the right mix of big names (Ryan Kwanten, Dermot Mulroney, Justin Long) and comedic character actors (Michaela Watkins, Rachel Harris, Lizzy Caplan). "It hasn't been, just stick a famous person in there. That's not the edict on the network side. Funny wins, and if we can get someone who can bring some life to the show in all areas of this business... Honestly, it's worked, whether it be Dermot Mulroney ('We really pushed for him... He let us tease him a bit in his manliness') or Ryan Kwanten ('He's a super talented actor and not too hard to look at')." The upcoming Season 2 will feature that same combination of recognizable names like Parker Posey ("She fits in this world" Yanklewitz said of the indie darling's New Girl stint) and up-and-comers like David Walton and Nelson Franklin (who will play Jess' and Cece's new love interests, respectively). "The show is so well written by Liz and everyone, the show has allowed us to dabble in both the indie comedy world, UCB, Improv Olympics, the Groundlings world, and hit a star or two," Yanklewitz acknowledged. While the show was supposed to have bona fide star Leslie Mann on board for a stint, bad timing got in the way. (After Mann stepped out, Posey stepped in). Still, Yanklewitz assured that everyone hopes to get the actress back in the future. "Leslie is amazing, comedy gold," he said. "It just maybe wasn't the right time. She really expressed interest in the show and loves Max Greenfield and wants to work with him. We will certainly work to get her back to the show and in a capacity that is right for her. We're all into Leslie being on the show." Still, with or without Mann, the show must — and will — go on, much to the delight of anxious excited fans. So what's in store for our favorite group of group of quirky, attractive late twenty somethings living together? Yanklewitz shared, "We're going to keep the relationships of all these guys developing and introducing new funny characters who are going to allow. You see who Schmidt is, you see who Nick is and see how they all need each other with hilarity ensuing." Is it September 25 yet? New Girl returns to FOX at 9 PM ET on — you guessed it — Tues, Sept. 25. [Photo Credits: FOX; Dewey Nicks/FOX] More: Zooey Deschanel Gets New Girl Love Interest New Girl: Move Over Schmidt! Nelson Franklin to Play Cece's New Beau 2012 Emmy Awards: See the Full List of Nominees!

While recent animated blockbusters have aimed to viewers of all ages starting with fantastical concepts and breathtaking visuals but tackling complex emotional issues along the way Ice Age: Continental Drift is crafted especially for the wee ones — and it works. Venturing back to prehistoric times once again the fourth Ice Age film paints broad strokes on the theme of familial relationships throwing in plenty of physical comedy along the way. The movie isn't that far off from one of the many Land Before Time direct-to-video sequels: not particularly innovative or necessary but harmless thrilling fun for anyone with a sense of humor. Unless they have a particular distaste for wooly mammoths the kids will love it.
Ice Age: Continental Drift continues to snowball its cartoon roster bringing back the original film's trio (Ray Romano as Manny the Mammoth Denis Leary as Diego the Sabertooth Tiger and John Leguizamo as Sid the Sloth) new faces acquired over the course of the franchise (Queen Latifah as Manny's wife Ellie) and a handful of new characters to spice things up everyone from Nicki Minaj as Manny's daughter Steffie to Wanda Sykes as Sid's wily grandma. The whole gang is living a pleasant existence as a herd with Manny's biggest problem being playing overbearing dad to the rebellious daughter. Teen mammoths they always want to go out and play by the waterfall! Whippersnappers.
The main thrust of the film comes when Scratch the Rat (whose silent comedy routines in the vein of Tex Avery/WB cartoons continue to be the series highlight) accidentally cracks the singular continent Pangea into the world we know today. Manny Diego and Sid find themselves stranded on an iceberg once again forced on a road trip journey of survival. The rest of the herd embarks to meet them giving Steffie time to realize the true meaning of friendship with help from her mole pal Louis (Josh Gad).
The ham-handed lessons may drag for those who've passed Kindergarten but Ice Age: Continental Drift is a lot of fun when the main gang crosses paths with a group of villainous pirates. (Back then monkeys rabbits and seals were hitting the high seas together pillaging via boat-shaped icebergs. Obviously.) Quickly Ice Age becomes an old school pirate adventure complete with maritime navigation buried treasure and sword fights. Gut (Peter Dinklage) an evil ape with a deadly... fingernail leads the evil-doers who pose an entertaining threat for the familiar bunch. Jennifer Lopez pops by as Gut's second-in-command Shira the White Tiger and the film's two cats have a chase scene that should rouse even the most apathetic adults. Hearing Dinklage (of Game of Thrones fame) belt out a pirate shanty may be worth the price of admission alone.
With solid action (that doesn't need the 3D addition) cartoony animation and gags out the wazoo Ice Age: Continental Drift is entertainment to enjoy with the whole family. Revelatory? Not quite. Until we get a feature length silent film of Scratch's acorn pursuit we may never see a "classic" Ice Age film but Continental Drift keeps it together long enough to tell a simple story with delightful flare that should hold attention spans of any length. Massive amounts of sugar not even required.
[Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox]

Wouldn't you love it if an episode of New Girl lasted three hours, aired on basic cable (the Douchebag Jar could be put to far better use), and didn't have that pesky Jess floating around keeping everyone in check? That is not intended to be a slight at the wonderful Zooey Deschanel; the rhythm of the joke just works better if you have three things. It's a comedy rule, people. And speaking of comedy that rules (I apologize for nothing), the brilliant dynamic that exists between the three male residents of the Los Angeles apartment featured on Fox's hit sitcom New Girl is about to be brought to the stage of VH1's 2012 Do Something Awards — Nick (Jake M. Johnson), Winston (Lamorne Morris), and, of course, Schmidt (Max Greenfield) are hosting this year's ceremony.
The network announced the hosts in a statement promoting the award program (formerly called the BR!CK Awards), which recognizes achievements of young men and women under the age of 25 who have accomplished or set forth noteworthy efforts toward the betterment of his or her community, via charity, activism, et al. The show is an excellent means of showcasing the opportunities young people have to apply their creativity toward making a difference, and is also an excellent means of showcasing the appropriate uses of hair chüt-a-nèy.
But just because this year's hosts are known for some outlandish behavior on their Fox series, that doesn't mean fans shouldn't expect a calm, sophisticated awards show. For instance, perhaps an opening number featuring a handbell solo by Morris. A demonstration in the craft of fragrance creation from Greenfield. And maybe some wistful contemplation of his plentiful regrets, courtesy of Johnson. That last one doesn't exactly make for great TV, but Nick isn't really good at anything. Maybe a turtle impression.
The Do Something Awards will air Tuesday, August 21 at 9 PM ET/PT on VH1.
[Image Credit: Fox]
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Parting is such bittersweet sorrow. At least, it is when it comes to the Season One finale of New Girl. Taking the almost anti-season finale approach, the breakout Fox comedy didn't leave us hanging with a gut-wrenching cliffhanger (not with their obvious cliffhanger couple, anyway.) Instead, "See Ya" did what New Girl has been doing so well during its freshman season: Making us feel equal parts exhilarated and hopeful and frustrated and a little bit sad for our gang. It's going to be hard to go without them this summer, but they left us on such a wonderful note (to the key of AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long") it'll be worth the wait.
Of course, if I was having a hard time with the idea of parting with New Girl for the next few months, it's nothing compared to the hard time Jess was having with the idea of parting with Nick. While none of his friends were terribly pleased that Nick was taking this gigantic backslide into domestic disarray, the guys dealt with a little bit better than Jess. While Winston and Schmidt fantasized about what they'd do with all the money they'd save not living with The Plaid Leech (Winston would open a mall called Winston's Corners and Schmidt would literally throw money at a plumber) Jess made her contempt for the situation known. She reminded Nick that Caroline turned him into an "turtle-faced, borderline alcoholic" and she tried, in vain, to scare off their replacement roommate Neil (the always funny Thomas Lennon) with threats of feminist rants. But it all fell on deaf ears, Nick was taking the backslide because it was the easy way out.
With Jess (and creepy landlord Remy!) wanting no part of his departure, Winston and Schmidt did the bro-therly thing and helped Nick on moving day. Only Nick had a major freak-out en route to his new life and made a 140-mile detour to the desert. "What have I done?!" Nick cried as he fell to his knees. (See above.) It's a question Nick isn't unfamiliar with asking himself, but this time, it seemed, he wanted to actually find an answer. So he did what any logical person would do: He threw the keys to his moving van into the endless desert abyss.
With the impending darkness looming (and not just Nick's infinite sadness, but poor Winston is very much afraid of the dark) Jess reluctantly came to the rescue with Schmidt's love Cece by her side. But since Jess is no ordinary girl, this is no ordinary rescue mission. Instead, she "loses" the keys to her car, leaving everyone stranded in the desert to stall for more time with Nick. Now I thought I was jealous of anyone who got to attend Coachella, but the only music party in the California desert I ever want to go to is one where I'm surrounded by my closest friends at the back of an open moving truck while a mix tape featuring Deep Blue Something's "Breakfast at Tiffanys," OMD's "How Bizarre," and Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" plays. God, the '90s were awesome.
It looked like a blissful oasis if there ever was one, but there was a lot of heavy stuff hanging over their vast desert landscape. Nick was still reluctantly fighting his friends (sometimes physically, in a deliriously funny slap fight) on his decision and tried to resist their nostalgic pleas like "I'm gonna miss this you guys, all of us together making fun of Nick." But, he wasn't the only one. The seemingly happy Schmidt (who was finally recovered from his whole broken penis debacle) and Cece came to a crossroads when a jealous Schmidt looked through Cece's phone to discover a flirty text from a male model colleague he watched her straddle a rocket with half-nude, during a photo shoot. JAR!
Racked with insecurities and desperate to give Cece the happy life she "wants," Schmidt did the only kind thing he could think to do: He White Fang-ed her. What's White Fang-ing someone, you ask? (It's not sexual, if you were worried like Jess was.) Based off Jack London's classic novel/the only book on Schmidty's Kindle, to White Fang someone is to let someone go, no matter how much it may hurt you, because it's what's best for them. You must set your wolf – nay, woof – free into the wilderness. Only Cece is no woof, she's a "good egg" who probably knows Schmidt better than he knows himself. She knew exactly what he was doing and tried to stop him from pelting metaphorical rocks at her. But when Schmidt lobbed a stinging insult at her ("How am I supposed to trust you, Cece? You slept with me! I mean, that doesn't say much about your taste in men") it proved to be too much for Cece. This could very well be it for these two. Woof.
Which left us pondering the fate of the other New Girl couple: Winston and Shelby. Just kidding! Shelby is nowhere to be found and Winston's main purpose in last night's episode was to be scared of the dark. (That said, Lamorne Morris did a damn good job of it with his childlike screams of fear and voicing his concerns that his "thighs and fat ass" will get him killed first by snakes. Still, please New Girl writers, give this guy something next season.)
No, the couple in question is, of course, Nick and Jess. The two friends continued to do their delicate dance around their feelings for one another because they know, deep down, this is it. When they get together, there is no turning back. (Something the New Girl writers are acutely aware of, too.) That's why Nick is going back to Caroline and why Jess isn't being supportive of it. But the pair had to come face-to-face with something scary when they searched for Nick's keys in the dark: An actual wolf. The moment was a blissful mix of physical comedy (Zooey Deschanel's impression of the Road Runner to scare off the animal with "meep meep"s was one of the funniest things from this entire season) and dramatic self-realization. Jess and Nick realized they needed each other in their lives and they needed to let each other go. But not because they don't need each other, but because they need to do this dance a little bit longer. (By the way, if the line "You know why I'm going to be okay? Because I met you" didn't totally gut you, I'm going to have to White Fang you.)
When the sun came up, much to the delight of Winston, and the keys were "found," much to the delight of everyone, they drove out of the desert and back to their new reality. The entire gang, Jess included, dropped Nick off at his new digs. Winston embraced him in guy-approved arm punch farewell, while Schmidt went for a full-on smooch. ("Unacceptable!" Nick told him.) And Jess, well she shared a sad-eyed farewell with her friend. The two couldn't even bring themselves to hug. And perhaps it was that moment that lingered on Nick when he came into his new apartment with Caroline waiting to start this whole thing over from the start, as if nothing had ever happened before. Or perhaps Nick had a Homer Simpson-like desert epiphany with the wolf and realized he deserved something more, but whatever it was it finally gave Nick the clarity he's been so desperately seeking. He drove himself right back to the loft and surprised everyone with his own re-entry music (the aforementioned AC/DC classic), to which they all did a happy dance. Well, except for Neil. Sorry Neil.
Sure, the "cliffhanger" may have been Schmidt and Cece (I sincerely hope those two crazy kids work it out) but upon his return Nick flashed Jess a smile that said more than words ever could about these two and their future. Not to mention forever solidifying Jake Johnson as a bona fide TV crush. New Girl fans couldn't help but do their own happy dance, too.
Here now, the other best lines and moments from "See Ya":
- Nick's exterminator solution: A creepy doll rigged to hold a hammer over a mouse hole.
- Jess' feelings on Nick's exterminator: "He's not fooling anyone. Just because he's a snappy dresser, you think the mice don't see the hammer? Mice come from all over the building to laugh."
- "I took my fair share of rubber bands, so I don't want to hear about it. In my room, there's a guinea pig that I said I would bury... so please deal with it"- Nick, explaining the corpse in his room upon moving out.
- Neil's "I Like To Move In, Move In" ditty. (Anyone else hopes he at least moves into a different apartment in the building?)
- Jess' way of telling the guys she's in the bathroom is to ring a bell.
- "Fresh-pressed linens" is Schmidt's idea of dirty talk.
- "I loved the way he smelled" - Remy, about Nick.
- Schmidt watching Cece's sexy soldier photo shoot: "What is this? Am I supposed to want to buy a missile? Just pounding the drum of war! Did no one listen to Eisenhower?"
- "I'm worried about Schmidt, he's a Jew in the desert"- Winston, delivering his funniest line of the season.
- "There's friggin' fire ants everywhere!" - Schmidt, a Jew in the desert.
- Schmidt "stress eating" meat.
- Schmidt pronouncing "wolf" as "woof."
- "Doesn't he have somewhere to be?" Nick, about the woof.
- Nick and Jess' behavior around the wolf, including Jess' howl to scare him off and Nick putting up his arms up as though he was being mugged by the animal. ("No disrespect!")
- "Look how pronounced Nick's couch hole got. All this time, we thought he was just sitting here, drinking beer and complaining. He was making something"- Jess, looking at Nick's butt groove.
What did you think of the Season One finale of New Girl? Did you want Nick and Jess to kiss or are you glad the show held off? Will Schmidt and Cece work it out? Sound off in the comments section!
[Photo credit: Fox]
More:
New Girl Recap: Til The Backslide Brought Me Down
New Girl Recap: Bringing Up Baby
New Girl Recap: True, Young Americans

S1E16: New Girl isn’t always all that funny, but I have yet to experience an episode that wasn’t enjoyable. Over the course of its short run, New Girl has managed to deliver three very likable, interesting and multifaceted characters, to whom I have grown unexpectedly attached. Also, there’s Winston.
The latest episode, “Control,” is a good example of how New Girl can rely entirely on our investment in one of its main characters in order to generate enjoyment. This week’s half-hour is weaker on the laughs than most New Girls—even more so than last week’s dramatic turn. But the show doesn’t suffer. We learn this week that, much like Cece has, we have really (albeit begrudgingly) come to care about Schmidt.
“Look at the size of this guy. He’s clearly ‘new homeless.’” – Schmidt
Somewhere along the line, New Girl built a genuinely interesting and full character in disguise as your typical sitcom jackass. But there is some legitimate rationale behind all of Schmidt’s character quirks. This week, we learn that Schmidt’s vanity and selfishness are rooted in some deep-seated obsessive-compulsive control issues.
Schmidt calls attention to the anxiety he gets when not in control over a situation in the opening of the episode. His marginally abusive relationship with Cece has not advanced to any new levels of mental health. She still calls him whenever she wants and dismisses him as soon as her needs are met. But Schmidt, despite his usual aversion to this kind of subordination, thrusts himself willingly into this position—not without a little grief over the circumstances, but still --because he really, really likes Cece.
“This thing makes me emotionally nauseous!” – Schmidt
Back at the loft, Jess becomes frustrated with Schmidt when he refuses to allow her to bring an abandoned hutch into their home. She’s particularly upset because of what the hutch represents to her: her contribution to the apartment arrangement, i.e. her final step into the family that is their foursome. But Schmidt’s emotional issues far overshadow Jess’ this week. It’s not just that he doesn’t like the hutch—he can’t have it in his home. It is dirty and messy, clashing completely with the décor, and, above all, not his choice. And we learn quickly that Schmidt isn’t simply being selfish; he has serious control issues.
Jess forgives Schmidt for the eventual destruction of her beloved piece of furniture and sets out to help him “loosen up.” After a quick assessment of all of Schmidt’s obsessive flaws, courtesy of Nick and Winston, Jess brings Schmidt to the beach to relax him. At first, he is disgusted by the free-living, unkempt lifestyle of the hippie beach dwellers all around him. But quickly, he is taken in by an attractive girl in a bongo drum circle. All too soon does Schmidt become one of them: a free-spirited, easygoing hippie without a care in the world.
“What’s it like living in the most populous island in French Polynesia?” – Non-Tahitian Vanilla (Jess)
“I could tell you…or…I could show you.” – Tahitian Vanilla (also Jess)
The transformation is not entirely out of character—he is hypnotized by an attractive young woman (Schmidt’s favorite thing on Earth). But the episode would ring a bit stronger if it were a more substantial cause to throw him off the deep end. There is an understood connection between Schmidt’s Jess storyline and his Cece storyline, but not enough of a visible line drawn between the two to make the theme as effective as it could be. If it were Cece who threw Schmidt into the excessively carefree state of being, that’d work. If it were Cece who brought him back to his old Schmidty ways, that’d work. But instead, Schmidt seems to operate completely independent of Cece between the opening and closing scenes of the episode. He is brought to hippie-dom by a pretty beach bum smiling at him, and brought back to normal by the chance to clean Nick’s room (his “White Whale”) and a new pair of Calvin Klein khaki slacks. Admittedly, it’s kind of appropriate that something so superficial is what transforms Schmidt back to his pathologically superficial state of being. But the fact that his new and frightening affection for Cece is only marginally connected to the main theme of the episode (after Cece sneaks into the apartment in the episode’s last scene, Schmidt proudly announces that he is comfortable having no control in their relationship) seems like a missed opportunity.
Still, the Schmidt development is well done. Kudos to Max Greenfield for giving us a human being believably pained by his own standards and the worlds’ inability to meet them. Schmidt actually lives up to the picture of mild OCD quite realistically. He is not blind to his own irrationality, but he is so desperate to satisfy the obsessions his mind forces on him that reasonability is sacrificed. He must have things a certain way. If he doesn’t, as his mother used to say, Santa won’t come (or whatever intangible anxiety this has translated to in his adult life).
“‘If I am reading this section, I can only assume you told me to relax.’” – Winston
“You wrote that?” – Nick
The substantial Schmidt story is backed by a pretty much all-for-fun Nick and Winston plot. After a drunken poker game, Nick has come to owe Winston a substantial amount of money. But, since Nick is a hapless bum, he has no genuine intention of paying his friend. The tension begins subtly on a park bench—Winston delivers his request for the payment in the form of a carefully worded written document—and explodes later on in the supermarket—groceries are thrown, names are called, faces are slapped.
The greatest accomplishment of this story is giving Winston some of his more memorable material. Although the character himself hasn’t achieved anything of importance yet, he is becoming more believable as a function of the group. Lamorne Morris’ chemistry with Jake Johnson reaches its peak in this episode, especially during the climactic slapping-and-shoving scene. Some more development of Winston would be nice, though. Last week took a look at Nick, this week at Schmidt, so maybe next week?
Did these new insights into Schmidt ring true for you? Do they make you like him more or less? And what do you think the show will, or should, do with Winston? Let us know in the comments section, or on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter.

After garnering widespread praise (and an Oscar nomination for screenwriting) for his 2000 directorial debut You Can Count on Me Kenneth Lonergan was in-demand. In September 2005 the writer/director began production on a follow-up feature: Margaret which touted Anna Paquin Matt Damon Mark Ruffalo Matthew Broderick Allison Janney as well as legendary filmmakers Sydney Pollack and Anthony Minghella (The English Patient) as producers. The movie wrapped production in a few months time. The buzz was already growing.
Now six years later the movie is finally hitting theaters. So…what took so long?
The journey to this point hasn't been an easy one and it shows. If a film's shot footage is a block of granite and the editing process is the careful carving that turns it into a statuesque work of art Margaret feels like it was attacked by a blind man with a jackhammer. The film is a cinematic disaster a mishmash of shallow characters overwrought politics and sporadic tones. The story follows Lisa Coen (Paquin) a New York teenager who finds herself drowning in chaos after distracting a bus driver (Ruffalo) causing him to hit and kill a pedestrian (Janney). Initially Lisa tells the police it was all an accident but as time passes regret takes hold and the girl embarks on a mission to take down the man she now regards as a culprit. That's just the tip of the iceberg–along the way Lisa deals with everyday teen stuff: falling for her geometry teacher (Damon) combating her anxiety-ridden actress mother losing her virginity dabbling in drugs debating 9/11 and the Iraq War cultivating a relationship with her father in LA and more. There are about eight seasons of television stuffed into Margaret but even a two and a half hour run time can't make it all click.
For more on Margaret check out Indie Seen: Margaret the Long Lost Anna Paquin/Matt Damon Movie

The first and most important thing you should know about Paramount Pictures’ Thor is that it’s not a laughably corny comic book adaptation. Though you might find it hokey to hear a bunch of muscled heroes talk like British royalty while walking around the American Southwest in LARP garb director Kenneth Branagh has condensed vast Marvel mythology to make an accessible straightforward fantasy epic. Like most films of its ilk I’ve got some issues with its internal logic aesthetic and dialogue but the flaws didn’t keep me from having fun with this extra dimensional adventure.
Taking notes from fellow Avenger Iron Man the story begins with an enthralling event that takes place in a remote desert but quickly jumps back in time to tell the prologue which introduces the audience to the shining kingdom of Asgard and its various champions. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) son of Odin is heir to the throne but is an arrogant overeager and ill-tempered rogue whose aggressive antics threaten a shaky truce between his people and the frost giants of Jotunheim one of the universe’s many realms. Odin (played with aristocratic boldness by Anthony Hopkins) enraged by his son’s blatant disregard of his orders to forgo an assault on their enemies after they attempt to reclaim a powerful artifact banishes the boy to a life among the mortals of Earth leaving Asgard defenseless against the treachery of Loki his mischievous “other son” who’s always felt inferior to Thor. Powerless and confused the disgraced Prince finds unlikely allies in a trio of scientists (Natalie Portman Stellan Skarsgard and Kat Dennings) who help him reclaim his former glory and defend our world from total destruction.
Individually the make-up visual effects CGI production design and art direction are all wondrous to behold but when fused together to create larger-than-life set pieces and action sequences the collaborative result is often unharmonious. I’m not knocking the 3D presentation; unlike 2010’s genre counterpart Clash of the Titans the filmmakers had plenty of time to perfect the third dimension and there are only a few moments that make the decision to convert look like it was a bad one. It’s the unavoidable overload of visual trickery that’s to blame for the frost giants’ icy weaponized constructs and other hybrids of the production looking noticeably artificial. Though there’s some imagery to nitpick the same can’t be said of Thor’s thunderous sound design which is amped with enough wattage to power The Avengers’ headquarters for a century.
Chock full of nods to the comics the screenplay is both a strength and weakness for the film. The story is well sequenced giving the audience enough time between action scenes to grasp the characters motivations and the plot but there are tangential narrative threads that disrupt the focus of the film. Chief amongst them is the frost giants’ fore mentioned relic which is given lots of attention in the first act but has little effect on the outcome. In addition I felt that S.H.I.E.L.D. was nearly irrelevant this time around; other than introducing Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye the secret security faction just gets in the way of the movie’s momentum.
While most of the comedy crashes and burns there are a few laughs to be found in the film. Most come from star Hemsworth’s charismatic portrayal of the God of Thunder. He plays up the stranger-in-a-strange-land aspect of the story with his cavalier but charming attitude and by breaking all rules of diner etiquette in a particularly funny scene with the scientists whose respective roles as love interest (Portman) friendly father figure (Skarsgaard) and POV character (Dennings) are ripped right out of a screenwriters handbook.
Though he handles the humorous moments without a problem Hemsworth struggles with some of the more dramatic scenes in the movie; the result of over-acting and too much time spent on the Australian soap opera Home and Away. Luckily he’s surrounded by a stellar supporting cast that fills the void. Most impressive is Tom Hiddleston who gives a truly humanistic performance as the jealous Loki. His arc steeped in Shakespearean tragedy (like Thor’s) drums up genuine sympathy that one rarely has for a comic book movie villain.
My grievances with the technical aspects of the production aside Branagh has succeeded in further exploring the Marvel Universe with a film that works both as a standalone superhero flick and as the next chapter in the story of The Avengers. Thor is very much a comic book film and doesn’t hide from the reputation that its predecessors have given the sub-genre or the tropes that define it. Balanced pretty evenly between “serious” and “silly ” its scope is large enough to please fans well versed in the source material but its tone is light enough to make it a mainstream hit.

Forget Black Swan – Natalie Portman’s real crowning performance is to be found in the romantic comedy No Strings Attached in which director Ivan Reitman asks her to convey sincere unqualified affection for Ashton Kutcher. Portman much to her credit gamely complies and though she may not have the emaciated figure bloody nails and bandaged ankles to tell of her labors the psychic scars must no doubt be just as severe.
Exhibiting strong chick-flick leanings and a rambunctious soft-R comic tone (i.e. lots of F-bombs some menstrual humor and a few shots of Kutcher’s naked ass) No Strings Attached is built around a basic relationship role-reversal: The dude Adam (Kutcher) longs for a deeper lasting commitment; the chick Emma (Portman) insists on keeping matters purely physical. Emma’s motive is a practical one: As a doctor-to-be her busy residency schedule with its 80-hour work weeks and intensive exam preparations precludes a serious relationship. But alas a woman has certain needs (foreplay apparently not being among them) and who better to fulfill them than Kutcher’s non-threatening boy-toy?
Thus a “friends with benefits” arrangement is cemented whereupon the ripcord is to be pulled on the occasion that either of them develops stronger feelings. This does not last long for soon Adam is cloyingly lobbying for escalation. Emma demurs – not out of disinterest we are told but because she’s intimacy-averse and afraid of a broken heart. Why else would she resist a more permanent attachment to someone like Adam?
Perhaps it’s because Adam as played by Kutcher is about as interesting as cabbage. And yet No Strings Attached would have us believe he’s some kind of floppy-haired Albert Schweitzer. This despite the fact that his greatest aspiration in life is to join the writing staff of a High School Musical-esque television series the shallow inanity of which is one of the film’s recurring jokes. In vain support of his cause the filmmakers decorate Adam’s apartment with various props – vintage posters books about 1920s movies a guitar that is occasionally picked up but never actually played – that hint at a depth that Kutcher himself never manifests.
Still Portman sells us on Adam and Emma’s inevitable union with every ounce of her not inconsiderable talent. (And her comic chops are legit – as those who’ve glimpsed her appearances on SNL and Funny or Die can attest.) But she asks too much. And Elizabeth Meriweather’s script while witty and stocked with some keen observations on the evolving nature of relationships in the modern age becomes weighed down by sentiment unbecoming an R-rated comedy not directed by Judd Apatow. In the end Kutcher seals the increasingly contrived deal with the climactic line “I’m warning you: Come one step closer and I’m never letting you go ” (I’m paraphrasing but not loosely) by which time the film's already lost its grip.