Some people leave footprints on our heart.
Cats leave fur on our sweaters.
Dogs leave drool on our shoes.
Families will crap on our doorstep.
So when life gives you crap, garden it and make roses.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

In order to have that Bali holiday...

Well any overseas holiday but not Bali, too hot for my delicate features. Hawaii would be nice, the volcanoes there erupt too but flow along the path of any resistance straight to the sea.

So a holiday needs a new passport and a new passport needs a current photograph. I do not look as she does up there, more like the dragon wrapped around her arm. Dill taking the photos hasn't taken any for a while, so presses the wrong button, twice. There is a queue behind me and it's hot so I'm sweating, yes a lady does indeed sweat like a hog on a BBQ when stressed.Dill tries again, after telling me I must remove my glasses in case the lens cause a flash and my eyes aren't clearly seen, biometric ID now. Success at last, I hand over $14.95, look at the photos and go into shock. I think I saw myself killing several people on 'Criminal Minds' last year.

The photos are rejected, too much sweating, well if I was getting on a plane I would be. I do need my glasses on because I wear them all the time and Dill should have taken enough photos to stop flashing. Also I was wearing very comfortable earrings so comfy I forgot I was wearing them and didn't take them off, Dill should have told me to as they blended into my earlobes and made me look like an upside down Spock.

Every cloud has a silver lining, I get another shot at a decent passport photo. Matt makeup should take care of the shine, glasses should make me look human not killing machine and no earrings. Fine print on passport form says cheaper for seniors, W00t.

Robbert Rochester, occupation Rakehell and tempter, do you know how much I'd weigh after a visit to Vienna? There's a pastry shop on every corner, I had to stop myself from watching Inspector Rex because I was gaining weight.

River, I need identification for acting Power of Attorney and I don't have a driver's licence although I'm sure Rakehell Rochester could manufacture one for me. But Hawai'i for sure one day.

Therese, I should have sat down and had an ice coffee and composed myself then I might have been able to think. I certainly might have looked less like a serial killler.

You jest, Rochester, you have forgotten my tin knees that will set off every alarm within miles.

Jayne, Home Sweet Home, never truer than right now. I've just seen the wreckage inside that plane that hit turbulance coming from Phuket. Cyclone heading for Cairns, riots in Egypt, volcano eruption in Indonesia, who'd travel?