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Sunday, November 17, 2013

When a Parent is Born.......

When a baby is born, the parents are also born with her. Not only
the mother, but also the father evolves infinitely more as a
human being (even though most depictions
of parenting would have us believe that only the mother is overwhelmed by the
baby, I can vouch for all the men I know personally, that they cried a wee bit too).

The first time we set eyes on little G's face, her eyes
screwed shut, we knew we were captured – lock stock and barrel. Little G
now held firmly in her little fists, both our hearts tightly clasped – for
life. It is natural then, that we would do everything in our
capacity to ensure that she was growing well.

This entailed various forms of
research – reading all the books on parenting we could lay our hands on,
talking to all the ‘been there done that’ parents (including our own) while
risking the smirk on their faces when they narrated what was in store; going
berserk with Google searches- Everything!

The first few days, we were even scared of burping baby G,
for fear of hurting her while doing so. But gradually, we learnt how much little
G loved to be touched - she slept contentedly in our arms, wailing as soon as
she was laid down in her crib.

I finally overcame the paranoia of inadvertently hurting
her, and started giving her massages. (A
little prelude here: I come from the land of massages – Kerala, where we use
massages to solve everything from aching muscles to treating depressions.
Hence, while I was briefly influenced by advocates of ‘no-massage-for-babies’, my entire family of extended relatives
would have disowned me if I followed
that route. Their argument? Well, they say there are years of scientific Ayurvedic research - such as this research - in support of the practice.)

During earlier days, the mothers and the grandmothers
concocted massage oils with the purest of ingredients; but today that option
seems to be drying out with nuclear families. Fortunately, there are companies
that spend years researching and developing the same today, making things
slightly easier for us city dwellers.

This was when I discovered the joy of touch. Science has
proven that the loving touch of the caregiver is one of the most important
contributors, next only to breast milk, perhaps, for the natural growth of a
baby in the first few months. As a first-hand recipient of the rewards, I have
now become a strong advocate of baby massages – when done correctly.

What were the rewards, you ask? Well, let me begin with the
glowing skin of little G. When babies are born, they have skin that is so
tender; it is scary to even touch them. Gradually the skin toughens up, but
gets drier and needs moisturizing. Options range from various kinds of oils, to
lotions and creams that are formulated specially for baby skin.

But the best option is a pre bath massage - it has much more than healthy skin to
contribute. A few months later, the massage had helped increase
little G’s appetite. She seemed to be calmer after her afternoon massages and
slept well. The massage was also our precious time with each other – a time when I would sing
to her, and she would gaze into my eyes while making baby sounds. When she learnt how to smile, she
would give me dazzling smiles every time I would talk to her during the
massages.

The style and frequency of little G’s massage changed a
little when she started trying to crawl. My mother would now use slightly more
pressure with a slight twisting motion, on her pudgy little legs and arms, since
her muscles needed more nourishment now that she was ready to crawl. And sure
enough, she was crawling almost as fast as I could run!The crawling soon progressed to running without any brakes, which was another reward of her massages (while her proud grandmother gave me a proud "I-told-you-so" look).

Along with these massages, another lesson I learnt in
parenting is that natural foods are a far better option than any of the
packaged ‘convenience’ foods that is aplenty in the market today. My little one
was served pureed bananas, pureed apples and mashed potatoes as her first
experience of food. She relished them, and much to my relief, her tiny stomach
could easily digest the natural fibers in the foods. I thus learnt that while packaged
baby foods are sometimes unavoidable (such as when traveling), clean, natural
foods are the best.

Our ancestors knew the bounty of nature, and lived in
harmony with it. Science and technology, while making life easier for all of
us, have in some way, taken us away from all that was life-giving. Remember all
the home remedies that our grannies subjected us to? Many of them were deeply
studied and hence, scientific in nature (this, ofcourse is not true of blind
superstitions – hence Authenticity must be the key here).

While my children were growing up, I had the good fortune of
having my elder relatives a phone call away. Thus, much of their knowledge got
transferred into my life as a new, nervous mother. Some things I had scoffed at
earlier showed me instant results, forcing me to look at traditional knowledge
with renewed respect. Some of them, I list here -

My mother would insist that a simple cough could
be treated with of juice of fresh ginger and tulsi leaf, mixed with honey –
safe and effective. No side effects, no worry of any chemical. This, according to me is what Ayurveda was all about - natural, no side effects, and effective.

There were some simple kitchen herbs that were
an absolute essential in foods for little G – ajwain (carom seeds) in her
paranthas and heeng (asafetida) in her dal – these helped in digestion

As little G grew into a naughty preschooler, her
mother (yup... that's me !) was
subjected to long lectures (this time, by the doting grandfather) on the
importance of traditionally used natural foods for mental and physical growth.
Thus, little G snacked on almonds and raisins instead of chips and biscuits. No
doubt, this food group contributed greatly to her ability to discover
innovative ways of getting in and out of mischief :-)

Today, with our second baby, we are more confident as parents; but my husband and I are still learning, wide-eyed,
the wonders that nature and traditional wisdom has in store for us. Our experience
has taught us that used regularly, and with the right kind of researched natural ayurvedic products,
nature has every solution to the nutrition and growth for her children.