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Friday, June 9, 2017

I knew enough to know that I should have had a silk scarf to tie my hair back. But when you’re living out a moment you’ve only seen in movies, you don’t always have the proper accessories on hand.

I’m getting ahead of myself.

Ed Sheeran’s latest hit single “Castle on the Hill” has captivated me and brought me back to the summer of 1997, exactly twenty years ago. He sings,

“I’m on my way,
Driving at 19, down those
country lanes...

I still remember,
these old country lanes,
When we did not know the answers.
And I miss the way, you make, me feel,
It’s real.”

I was 19 myself all those years ago, and yet I don’t feel old enough for twenty years to have passed, to be thinking back fondly on these moments. I feel the same - just a little more tired. But I remember sitting in that car that drove too fast up and down the hills in the dark, the convertible roof down, the stars shining brightly when the street lights couldn’t compete.

I liked him more than he liked me, but that experience was typical for me at that point in my life. And it’s funny how he almost doesn’t exist in my memory of those moments. It’s more about the music, the same driving bass line that emitted from the club music he preferred.

I rarely wore my hair up - I still rarely wear my hair up - so when he called to take me out for a drive on a beautiful summer night, I left my hair down. Maybe it would matter to him, I thought then (it didn’t). I couldn’t contain my hair as it whipped around me while we drove, and eventually, I gave up and let it go. And in letting it go, I had one of those perfect moments, when you know you’re making a memory while it happens.

This past year of parenting has changed me. Watching Hannah become a bat mitzvah, alongside so many I’ve had the privilege to watch grow over the past years (or decade), I now see we are on the other side of something. Assuming a stereotypical path, Hannah has just five more years at home. They will be unlike any other five year period we’ve had with her. If this past year is any indication, they will be a period of less and less time together, of making time where we can, quality versus quantity. There will be challenging conversations, and times when I can’t do much more than listen. Her world is expanding so quickly. She is looking to me for more and more answers, and yet I don’t feel like I have many more than I did twenty years ago.

I don’t think it’s about having all the answers. Or maybe you find answers in experiencing those rare moments, the edge of danger and the comfort of safety, foot tapping, singing, hair whipping around you.

(I just watched the video for the first time when I went to add it here - I had no idea it showed them going around in a convertible too. :) )

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Disclosure: I was invited to try Stylogic and given a discount on any clothing I purchased. All opinions are my own. And I don't know why my fonts are being inconsistent below.

Right around the time I was feeling frustrated by all of the cold shoulder, no shoulder, sleeves with slits, open back and the list goes on, lack of work-appropriate clothing out there this spring, Stylogic contacted me to see if I was interested in trying their subscription box service. I've been a bit wary of these services before, as most of them didn't accommodate plus size clothing options. But the tag line "Every Woman Deserves to Feel Beautiful ” in the email they sent me caught my attention, and so I did a little investigating. Not only do they carry larger sizes, but they customize the outfit based on when you plan to wear it (like to work or for a special event), and shipping is included both ways, so no laying out your own money when you want to return something. I was in.

The difference between Stylogic and other companies is that Stylogic hopes to send you a complete outfit. This should eliminate the problem found in other subscription boxes of "I love it, but I don't know how to wear it." I filled out an online profile, most of which consisted of photos of outfits and how likely I was to wear them. This would give my stylist a direction to go in. She also contacted me about the sizes of clothing I'd selected, and let me explain that I prefer looser tops, but that I'd be swimming in the same size on the bottom.

When my box arrived, I was happy to see that it was rugged enough to withstand the return trip, and that it included a plastic shipping bag large enough to put the box back inside, with that prepaid postage I mentioned. The items were definitely selected just for me, and packaged with care. I first took out a Calvin Klein white blouse which would have been perfect...except I already have a few similar items in my closet. Then came an embroidered navy shirt WITH SHOULDERS! Completely on trend but in a way I was comfortable wearing it. It was paired with seersucker pants, which actually fit me perfectly. A cute necklace and a fun pair of shoes completed the look. So I basically had two outfit options, depending on which shirt I might want to wear.

In the end, I kept just the embroidered shirt, and sent the rest back. While the pants fit well, I couldn't really see myself wearing them, but I noted the brand and size so I could try to see if other options are available the next time I'm looking for new pants. I didn't try on the shoes, as they were a little out there for me, but it was fun just to consider them for a while.

The Stylogic site and the sets that are created come a in wide variety of options, and you can set how often you'd like to have a new box sent to you. I might consider them again when fall is coming around and I hit that wall of hating everything I have to wear. I think pretty much everyone hits that moment at some point in time, so perhaps you'll consider giving Stylogic a try then too!

Hi! I'm Cheryl.

My name is Cheryl Stober, and welcome to Busy Since Birth. I focus on providing moments of "me too" connection and encouragement to fellow working parents, in all their capacities. My crazy-busy life has led me to say, "I'm having it all--at the exact same time." I'm married to Marc, mom to Hannah and Max, a product manager working in finance, Jewish camp advocate and pop culture fan. Follow me on Twitter @cherylstober.