Monday, June 25, 2012

He's often referred to as my "102 year old boyfriend", but now Sal is correcting people and letting them know that he is in fact, 102 1/2 years old. And he's not really my boyfriend... because he has a 91 year old girlfriend who, in all the years we've dined together, has never joined us-- That's Sal's call, not mine, by the way.

We have lunch together ever other week, each time taking turns "treating" the other to a cup of soup and splitting a pastrami sandwich on rye bread. Lunch is early-- 11:45 am, but since Sal always arrives at 11:30, so I do too. It's early for lunch, but somehow we always manage to polish off our meal and chat together for nearly 2 hours.

Sal is never short on conversation because in all honesty, he's far more active than I am-- Taking in usually 3-4 evenings of music concerts or other live performances a week, and often having as many as 4 more business related meetings ranging from Boards of non-profits that he's active on, to meetings at two different major universities in our area, as well as various other organization gatherings that he's involved with. In fact, at each lunch I have to make our next lunch date to get on his calendar before it fills up.

This lunch's main topic of conversation involved a world renown physician who'd recently wined and dined him in an effort to squeeze a few donations out of Sal-- Cold hard cash for a research grant and the other for several veils of blood and countless scans and tests to learn more about his remarkable aging process. (If you met Sal you'd think he was somewhere between 78 and 80 years old.)

Sal was having none of it and tactfully declined on both requests. He'd already done both and, despite his fondness for the doc and his interest in aging-- after all Sal is kind of an expert in it himself-- he'd funded numerous "aging tests" for another doctor when he turned one hundred and he wasn't interested in getting poked anymore.

But this doc did not give up easily. His research study was quite different from the others. The main interest of this big-shot physician was to predict what Sal would actually die from and he kept on pushing for a positive response!

Sal thought that "sales pitch" was hysterical.

But he had no interest in finding the answer to that question.... because Sal said he'd never know if the doc was right because.... he'd be dead.

Sal laughed some more but the truth was he didn't want to know what he could potentially die from.

It's a strange thing to have a conversation about death with someone Sal's age. I am keenly aware that every lunch is potentially our last, despite his excellent physical and mental health. I cherish the friendship and the meaningful conversations we share, but talking about death with him made me a bit sad.

Sal could tell I was getting a little choked up by the topic so he explained his thinking, doing his best to to make me laugh as hard as he was. Apparently this doc is an "expert" in people over the age of 108 years old and he wanted Sal to be a "member of that club". But, after detailed conversation, Sal discovered he wasn't at all interested in joining the club because the 108 year olds the doc was researching were, in Sal's mind, "old" and not all that "with it".

In fact, Sal was telling me, he didn't want to ever get "that old".

I can't say as how I blame him about that last statement. Neither Sal nor I are interested in a long life if it is not a full and complete one, but I still wasn't laughing.

So he told me about the time he was in college and three of his law school buddies decided to drive his old Model T automobile up to Mammoth Mountain. Problem was that 3/4 of the way up the "big rubber band" snapped and the car would no longer move forward, only backwards. Apparently back in the day the cars had three of these "rubber bands"-- forward, reverse and stop. So Sal had his buddies push the car while he steered and turned the car around so they could drive up the rest of the mountain in reverse.

That I laughed at, even though he'd told me the stories years ago. Several people within earshot of our booth laughed too.

But in all seriousness, we did talk about the potential benefits to others if Sal took the tests. He felt he'd "done his part for science" and even donated the hefty tab for the last round of in-depth testing he'd participated in. With those tests, Sal did not want to know the findings saying life was good-- Why mess it up with things that might stress him out.

Sal's "keep stress to a minimum" attitude is one of the reasons he's doing so fantastic at 102 1/2. Although I still didn't laugh, I was smiling at his wisdom.

He sounds a lot like my great grandfather. He was in an assisted living, and moved to one closer to my aunt. Some of his lodge buddies came to visit him in his old digs, and the lady at the desk said, "Mr Johnson is no longer with us."

They thought he'd died.

The sympathy cards started pouring in to my aunt's house.

And he read them all and laughed and laughed and laughed at them. He said it was almost like being able to go to your own funeral.

Incredible, it must be truly the best kind of experiences to be having conversation on regular bases with someone who has reached such an age. I am in awe of people who can still smile and crack a joke when when they know that there is not much left to laugh about and even less to look forward to.Beautiful story, in some way it reminded me of the film "The Holiday" and the relationship between the characters played by Kate Winslet and Eli Wallach.;)xoxo

Wow he sounds a truly interesting man. And very wise. I am glad he decided against further tests as he should be enjoying himself instead. I have just watched a TV show about people over 100. They get to this age because they not only have great health but great spirits. I hope your lunches continue for some time to come.

sal seems like a pretty cool guy....i dont think i would want to know how i am going to go either...it will get here when it will...you know...good on you for having these lunch dates with him too...smiles.

He sounds like a gem. It's wonderful that you get to have such a meaningful relationship with him, Joanna. I have often said I don't want to get TOO old, myself. There's not much chance, given my genes, that I'll be reaching 100, so I won't worry too much about it right now. Thanks for the great story! :-)

If I understand your portrait of Sal, he is much like My Grandma, who just recently died a couple months short of her 106th birthday. Sal, like her, does not worry about such things as pastrami sandwiches, and has little use for doctors who want to tell him this and that about himself. And I think that's a great secret to living a long and full life. The less you worry, the longer you live (given that you worry enough to not step in front of cars, of course.)

I get you when you talk about thinking that every meeting may be your last. I hate thinking about death. One thing I noticed though, is that the people who reach that age are usually not afraid of dying.

How many years have you and Sal been friends? He is an inspiration for the rest of us seniors. People like Sal bring joy and wisdom to our lives, leaving a legacy that way as well as the ways Sal has contributed to society.

brilliant! jorge´s grandmother lived to a 104. i once asked her what was the secret to her long (and healthy) life. she said eating well and taking a long walk every day. (which she did with her sister who lived to be 98:))big hugs jj. p.s. i have a feeling i already told you this story. if so, sorry for the repeat.... chalk it up to aging. ;)

I'm reading this the day after returning from a visit with my grandmother, who will be 100 in August. Her secret to staying sharp is to play cutthroat 42 every afternoon, and bridge every other Monday,as well as the usual staying up on politics and such. She does, however, admit to disliking being 100, as all of her family and friends nearby have passed on, and she misses them.

"HOW TO BLOG" SERIES

Click Image to see ALL of the "A Crazy Little Thing Called Blog" posts.

Copyright & Comments

Copyright 2014 The Fifty Factor. These are my stories. Some are fact, some fiction, some a little of both. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Please don't steal my stuff. No part of this site may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without express written permission of the copyright holder.

Comments Policy: Let's play nice, type nice and keep it PG-13. If you feel you simply must hate, slam, shame, drop the F-word or show pics of private body parts-- step away from your computer. Tirades will be deleted. Posting comments to this blog means you are giving them to me forever-- So think carefully before you click "Publish". And last, I reserve the right to edit or remove any posts for any reasons.