A blog dedicated to social/political satire and commentaries
by Michael Powers

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Paris

One thing that I've always found interesting: Every woman wants to go to Paris. It is like the world's Mecca for women to go to find themselves. I've had a lot of my lady friends go there recently. And, I have nothing against the city, but I get very skeptical about its mystique and amazingness when almost every ridiculously overt and entirely unmitigated and trusting endorsement comes from the mouths of women. And, generally they call it wonderful and exciting before they even set foot there.

The truth is, Paris is kinda cool, but very dirty. There are great museums, shops, gardens (but you can find that in other parts of France minus the filth, sleaze, and weirdness). I just think we should broaden our horizons a bit. Women need to stop letting their fantasies control them. Paris is the metrosexual son of King Priam without cajones that started the Trojan war by kidnapping Helen. Paris is the daughter of the Hiltons who has no taste or class, and no intelligence. Almost all the cities named after Paris in the US suck (like Paris Idaho). And Paris in France is only a little better than all those aforementioned Parises.

While I can't pass final judgment on the city, never having been, I did a little reading on the subject while I was in DC and compiled the following list of things that DC shares with Paris:1) Designed around an L-shaped central mall2) A "flat" city--that is, ordinances restrict the height of the buildings3) Home to one of the world's largest Gothic cathedrals4) Home to a building that held the title of world's tallest in the late 19th century5) The skyline's most noticeable features are said tower and a domed building (check out that photo of Paris on the blog--doesn't it look strangely similar?)6) The streets are laid out in a grid intersected by diagonally-running boulevards7) Home to some of the world's best museums and performance venues8) Designed by a Frenchman9) Located on a major river spanned by multiple-arched bridges10) National capital11) Major tourist destinationAnd of course I could go on. Before traveling to Europe to pay a horrible exchange rate in a city whose language you don't understand (and if you do, they'll probably despise you for having an accent), why not check out Washington?

Self-Aggrandizing Photo

Michael Powers

About the Author

Michael Powers is a fairly cultured American with an eye for seriousness, but willing to entertain the occasional dabble into the surreal and the inane. His writing focuses on news, random stories, politics, and social issues with his own brand of cynicism, but always with a humorous or optimistic outlook.