Posted Aug 5, 2014

Leading a life of sugar can be unconventional, but this doesn’t mean it lacks aspects of a traditional relationship. In a sugar relationship, laying your feelings out on the table is standard procedure. Communicating with one another is vital, and speaking the languages of love comes more naturally in this type of relationship.

The languages of love explain how we understand the expressions of romance from others. There are five major components, and each of them being experienced within a mutually beneficial relationship.

Words of Affirmation

A healthy arrangement is based on communication. Verbally discussing your needs is the first step. I always insist that couples discuss their needs prior to the initial meet, but during the first encounter the time to vocally affirm your goals for the relationship. Because sugar is so open and honest, Sugar Babies and Daddies have experience using their words of affirmation before the arrangement begins. Should it become more serious, the people involved already have a solid ability to use their words as a language of love.

Acts of Service

This language is all about displays of love by easing the burden of responsibilities. For a Sugar Baby, the financial obligations of college and young adult life may be stressful. When a successful man is able to mentor her and alleviate some of that pressure fortifies the bond they share. Some claim that the financial aspect of an arrangement lessens the sincerity, when in actuality it makes their love even more real. Once the relationship is established, the Sugar Baby may show her Daddy an act of service by preparing him a fancy dinner or giving him an at-home massage.

Receiving Gifts

Gift-giving is only partially about the material aspect. Receiving a gift means the other person was really thinking about you. They took the time to learn your sizes, valued your taste, and picked out something just for you. Those who speak this language find contentment in a partner who tangibly expresses their affection through generosity. Sugar epitomizes this mentality, and each person becomes closer when they share the appreciation and reciprocation of a gift.

Quality Time

Opportunities to be physically together may not be as frequent for sugar couples. Due to hectic schedules, meeting for quality time is highly valued in the relationship. When it’s less frequent, the moments shared mean more and allow for a break from the demands of everyday life. For someone who responds to this language, giving their full and undivided attention is an essential component of love. Putting down the phone and having a meaningful conversation is the norm for a sugar encounter, where quality time holds true merit.

Physical Touch

When appropriate, physical contact is a perfect way to convey caring. A simple touch on the arm while talking, or holding hands makes all the difference for someone who cares about this language. While this can imply a certain level of intimacy, it’s more about how “touchy” a person enjoys being. The two people should share similar ideas of physical touch as a sign of love, and regularly express their affections.

Finding out which languages of love you feel most strongly towards is about figuring out what truly makes you happy. Discovering your love language can take your relationship from casual to monumental and could you find the perfect companion.

You want to focus on what works in your neck of the woods and pretty much forget about the world sugar happenings.

Everything else is pretty useless and youb may get better ROI of your time elsewhere.

Sexy Kittensays:

I am relatively new to this site….It seems like a great way to socially interact with others around the world. I guess time will tell however. I am wondering if there is a newsfeed page of some sort though.

Sierrasays:

Totally agree meeting the others needs in REALITY is actually love in reality conventional or unconventional but its real and it works and i think thats great.There is a culture of mutual respect in traditional SD/SB and i really like it.Everything is negotiated.

@yougottabelickingme

– I don’t date long distance SB. Guess who pays for the extra and unnecessary expense.

– I don’t date blog SBs.

“Josh says:
August 15, 2014 at 9:42 am
I liken you to AmbrosiaAmnesiaAlopecia, SunshineOfYourExcrement, SonkneeDelight, SunraysOfYourSkinCancer, and PleaseBigPoppaDontHurtMe”

Was that necessary?”

Yes, love…kind of it was. I know that you have a liking for Alexis, so out of my undying love for you, I’ll be gentler with her. Speaking of your liking for Alexis…why don’t you date her, dear. I mean, you two share very similar ideas. Some of your thoughts are so much alike it’s as if you’re the same person. Such a compatible quality in a sugarmate. And don’t worry, sexycakes, I won’t be jealous. I don’t mind sharing. It’ll be nice for you to have a “grateful” little lady around. You might be too sexually experienced for her though…and perhaps a bit stubborn. Might have to invert that big, juicy, long and girthy ego of yours to better suit her fancy.

Anyway…

Can’t play with you two too late tonight. I have an early morning.

Kisses

“Alexis says:
August 15, 2014 at 1:55 pm
@yougottabekidding me

“Big huge-ass long thing”

Wow lol, you gotta be kidding me All I can do is give you a big thank you. You have provided me with another reminder of why I no longer wish to date girls. What mindless and paranoid drivel.

Please, please get your prescription refilled. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to smaller men who are sexually inexperienced. As I said, it’s a wish not an absolute. If a lovely man whom I have a lot in common with were to come along… I would grab him in a heartbeat even if he was tall and very experienced.

No truce because there was never any war. I have never been (and never will be) on this blog as anyone else besides myself.”

K, pumpkin.

Alexissays:

@yougottabekidding me

“Big huge-ass long thing”

Wow lol, you gotta be kidding me 😉 All I can do is give you a big thank you. You have provided me with another reminder of why I no longer wish to date girls. What mindless and paranoid drivel.

Please, please get your prescription refilled. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to smaller men who are sexually inexperienced. As I said, it’s a wish not an absolute. If a lovely man whom I have a lot in common with were to come along… I would grab him in a heartbeat even if he was tall and very experienced.

No truce because there was never any war. I have never been (and never will be) on this blog as anyone else besides myself.

He did influence a few SBs though who started demanding that kind of money. So it might be for the better that he was exposed along with his fanciful posts.

Joshsays:

I have not read him in months. I should go back and read his posts, I guess. 😉

Kms2014says:

$20,000-$25,000 a month in allowance, and minimum $1,500 for a first meet and a $2,000 dinner? Where did this mystery man go? 😉 hehe ;-p If it were Sunshineofyouruterus, then I would welcome him to take back this interesting persona….

KMS …. Zack, should he be still lurking, would be better equipped to secure location as he is of said training, I think. Josh???? do you recall the “topic” and location????

Joshsays:

Don’t do that yet. You must read ALL of his posts. LOL!

Kms2014says:

@JJ…are you still lurking? I had another bout of insomnia last night, so thought I would peruse over a few of ‘Beck’s’ former blog posts….it was a tad entertaining, hehe 😉 I was not bored enough to skim through more than one blog article, though. Do you know where the exit/apology letter is? Can you post it or direct me to the right blog? Am curious to read that now, hehe.

I liken you to AmbrosiaAmnesiaAlopecia, SunshineOfYourExcrement, SonkneeDelight, SunraysOfYourSkinCancer, and PleaseBigPoppaDontHurtMe”

Was that necessary?

“Alexis says:
August 15, 2014 at 7:20 am
@yougottabekiddingme
Didn’t your mama teach you if you had nothing nice to say, you shouldn’t say it?

I mean really lol… naive?… psychotic? Why? Because I don’t subscribe to the usual feminist bullshit?

Why would you even ask me how I identify?

Really now, do you come from a completely straight world where people never date people of the same sex?”

Clearly, all I learned from my mama was to [nurse from her breast at a hippie music festival] :). Eye heart hippies.

Why do I ask how you identify?

I asked an open-ended question to allow for an answer that might not be one of binary assignment.

I guess Im just trying to figure out how all of this ties into your quest for a 40 year old virginal man.

Your thoughts seem more scattered and discongruent than “versatile and flexible”. Almost as if you’re making it up as you go along. I do, however, find the gift of adlib an art. So kudos to you, I guess, for coming up with on-the-fly bulldroppings.

“Good to know I’m not the only one who has that damn disease when it comes to women. I think I’m finally done with it though. I hope.”

Are we talking about being burned in the literal or figurative sense? You said you were too frightened of disease to have sex “AT ALL” (I mean…like ever. And we are NEVER, EVER EVER! getting back together). Failure to put out often results in shortcummings in any relationship…despite the gender…or gender assignment. But, of course, you know this. Kinda said so yourself :).

Your comment seemed more to me like a slip in character. Did the real you forget under which user name you were posting?

Damn it!

I liken you to AmbrosiaAmnesiaAlopecia, SunshineOfYourExcrement, SonkneeDelight, SunraysOfYourSkinCancer, and PleaseBigPoppaDontHurtMe

You, at least, are comparatively pleasant in your ramblings. I much prefer crazies of the friendly variety. So, yes…if I am going to engage in conversation with this more amicable figment of someone’s imagination, I could at least do so nicely.

“Man’s hubris that “She’s different” and “this time I gotta keeper.” ;)”

Good to know I’m not the only one who has that damn disease when it comes to women. I think I’m finally done with it though. I hope.

Jacobsays:

“Sugar dating varies greatly with the parties involved, and it requires an open mind.”

Exactly! One should be aware of the glass roof that oneself is living under, and have a compassion an appreciation for other people living under similar precarious circumstances, instead of casting first stones just to feel superior.

This entire thread is petty, and there’s a reason I’ve refrained from commenting too much. Pretty sure we’re all adults, right? Let’s behave as such. I feel like I’m back in high school…

NC Gentsays:

The blog used to be a much more supportive and tolerant forum. There was very little name calling, personal attacks, etc. Certainly disagreements came up occasionally, but there wasn’t a constant “us vs. them” mentality that seems to permeate the postings now. A few intolerant, close minded individuals have successfully chased off those whose definition of sugar dating doesn’t match their definition. It is very unfortunate because sugar dating varies greatly with the parties involved, and it requires an open mind.

@Fat Everyone is absolutely allowed to comment. Attacks on others and degrading topics are what are frowned upon. I would prefer everyone to their age on the blog. Thank you for your cooperation.

Jacobsays:

Alright, Josh, I will gladly give you credit for the Rinser topic. I did not bring up your name last time because of previous adverse experience when bringing up your name in discussion 😉

Regarding the change of blog comments’ tone in the past 6 months to a more realistic and balanced one, a couple significant events took place in addition to intrepid daily effort from you and FB:

1. PriceySpicey disappeared, for whatever reason;

2. Someone came in and put a giant 800lb gorilla of an offer of genuine long term relationship on the table. The rinsers’ responses exposed their own rhetorical desire for relationships as little more than relationship with the man’s wallets while contributing little from themselves to the relationship; i.e. rinsers 😉

@Fat – One more comment and you are done. This is not appropriate.

Jacobsays:

Thank you, Kirsten. Will do.

Kms2014says:

“Beck says:
April 13, 2013 at 7:30 am
Good topic, and helps me get my two cents out there. Three things I watch out for in the first meet.

1) Is there a free flowing conversation, or is the sound of silence so loud that I wish I could put on headsets and turn on Le Grand Macabre instead?

2) Is there desperation or confidence? The former, real as it may be and often unavoidable, is not attractive. I listen patiently, but being the heartless cad that I am, I discount it and do not initiate a second meet.

3) Is there appreciation or criticism at how much a good wine costs? I would settle for neutrality, but criticism is unwelcome. I do not need a second woman letting me know that I am wasting all my money, I already got my mother.

On the arrangement, I hate having such discussions, so my basic rule is $1500 for the first meet over dinner at a half-decent restaurant, which I hand over in the beginning of the meeting. I do believe in compensating people for their time, and a 4 hour dinner should merit at least that much in my view.

I do not look for physical attraction, as, if I wanted to get laid, I would have called an escort whose performance is likely to be better anyway than an inexperienced SB. But I do appreciate a well-dressed woman; it is embarrassing to show up at La Grenouille with someone who, for lack of a better word, looks like a cheap whore. I may run into acquaintances there.”

I see why the women fell for him…$1,500 for a first meet, and he doesn’t care about a woman’s looks? His picture has a little bit of a scary stare to it, but am liking what he is preaching 😉

Kms2014says:

I’m very bored at work today…will look up this Beck for a moment…

Jacobsays:

Not possible. I’m not a Don Juan like the “Beck” character. It was funny though to recall him wanting only well used pussies, paying $1400 (or was it $14000?) to have lunch with him and strictly for lunch only. Now that the topic of Rinsers has been brought up recently, his character must have been the dreams of well-used rinsers. No wonder he was so popular for some blog ladies. Thankfully most SB’s on SA itself are not rinsers.

IIRC, FatBastard recognized him as a fake from the get-go. I thought him as a fake too even before reading to his revelation; few people making $5mil a year (or was it $25/mil a year?) was that stupid.

The boring bloggers got rid of him. If I were active at that time I might have egged him on to write more shit.

And yours truly played his part in getting rid of the boring/whinning bloggers.

Jjsays:

Actually, it was a joy to ck the blog of the day’s happenings with “Beck” and the ladies!!!! AND… for all that was/is known, it may well have been a female ….. or ….. and the “confession” a ….. ???? Who knows!!!!

Kms2014says:

So, Beck didn’t incessantly talk of baby farms, and co-parenting with many different baby mamas, then? The good ol’ days of ‘Beck’, at least, hehe 😉 Sunshineofyourloveofdifferentpersonalities, can you please go back to your ‘Beck’ persona….? That seems at least a bit interesting….lol!

Dream on. “Beck” had quite a few unique writing style and choice of words that marked him as culturally from India. IIRC, he was in NYC. I’m neither.

It was funny though to see the blog ladies swooned over him. LOL.

Jjsays:

KMS…from my “perspective”, it appears logical that the progression may be….”Beck”….SunShiny…..Jacob…. , but Guru would only be able to know for sure, or someone of his caliber. Beck was quite the orator and very convincing as a Don Juan…. The ladies fell in love, love, love!!!!!

Jacobsays:

Jj,

What “shit” are you calling out? Everything I told you was simple fact. I was in direct and friendly email exchange with the management regarding what was happening to my old blog account after the software glitch showed up. If you want to read only the fabricated nonsense from those throwing figments of their own imagination at me, you are likely to be misinformed.

“get down off your ‘high horse rocking pony’ and join realistically in with the human race”

Is my offer of genuine long term genuine relationship to qualifying SB’s that threatening to you? Don’t worry, the standards are quite high and I will only allow a few into that prize. Compared to going through one SB per week or one everyday if I wanted to, this approach is actually a way of reducing my SB count and time with SB’s over the long term.

Kms2014says:

So, all this is from some kid in a creative writing course testing out his writing skills? At least that would make sense, a little….because if any of what he says is true(in his mind, anyways), then is quite disturbing…

@JJ…lol, so sunshineofhissphintermuscle was this ‘Beck’, in disguise, and Guru called him out on it? Hehe, funny. Where is Guru, lately, anyway?

Kms2014says:

Baby’s mama dramas*

Kms2014says:

Since you have so many friends that you don’t know what to do with, and are in no need for confidants on blog, can you please bore your real-life friends with your theories and tirades, and past dramas from babie’s mamas from other baby daddies? And not the blog as much? That would be nice…..

Jjsays:

KMS… actually, you should look up the “Beck” series as it was quite entertaining and he had the ladies swooning…. until a slip brought cause for him to reveal himself after Guru decided to lurk and semi-exposed. Mr. “Beck”, unable to recall his “real name” came clean and noted he was taking a ‘creative writing’ course, or such, and his “apology” was quite palatable and worthy of his course work.

Jacobsays:

@KMS
You are projecting entirely too much. I have plenty friends in my own life; so many that I don’t look for confidants on blogs. I met the friends and sometimes even the families of my SB’s. In one case, I even let the SB’s baby daddy to live in one of my houses in order to take care of the pregnant woman because I had already been on friendly terms with him previously and the pregnancy was accident.

Although that last bit might have had a lot to do with bad advice from my ex-wife. My initial response to the SB/GF informing of her pregnancy probably by her gay roommate (when they were high and drunk at party) was to tell her to get out of my face and get lost until baby can be proven to be mine. The ex-wife somehow managed to convince me that if I really loved her (the SB/GF), I would accept her and adopt the child. Well, that was a horrid piece of advice. I learned my lesson: never ever date a woman who can not put you first (besides herself of course) due to biological/hormonal reasons; woman controls sex and man controls relationship in a normal healthy relationship, but when the woman controls both aspects the man is made into a supplicating fool regardless how much power he really wields, and that would totally piss off the woman! instead of making her happy!

I never experienced accidental pregnancy drama previously, so I sought advice from the ex-wife regarding how women feel about those things. Still wondering if the ex-wife gave me the advice just because she was a kind-hearted woman or a deliberate attempt to put me in a position where me and the ex-SB/GF would despise each other while preventing the latter from getting a timely abortion because technically I was supplying all the logistic needs to carry on the burden that would eventually ruin the SB’s life.

Kms2014says:

@jj…it is amusing that he will not admit he was banned/blocked from site(and, does go into quite a detailed story/fable) and that is why he had to change his SunshineSD name to sunshineofyourlove to /sunshinelove4you…and now, ‘Jacob’ of all things. I never was around for ‘Beck’, thankfully 😉

Jjsays:

SunShiny…. was not “addressing” you…. only calling you out on your shit!!! You were incapable of hiding very well…… and your laborious bullshyiet is boring!!!! I only need to read the replies to obtain the gist of your crap!!!! Do yourself and mankind a favor and get down off your “high horse rocking pony” and join realistically in with the human race rather then you rhetorical bullshyiet!!! just say’n….. “OH good grief…” CB

Kms2014says:

I am quite the opposite of racist, and if you want to take our joking and spin doctor it to antagonize(yet again), then I think most people with at least a third grade level of reading comprehension can figure it out for themselves.

FB, if you stand by what you said, then you said this(again)….It doesn’t matter if you have ever actually beat a woman(but now, one must assume you probably have already done so, with that attitude of yours)but the attitude that a woman ‘pussy, in FBbigpoppa lingo’ is in need of a beating now and again says a lot about you….If you stand by what you say, then you must stand by your entire quote below….

“That said, there is not one adult person on the face of the earth who has not deserved a slap down at some point. This includes you and every other woman out there. Your pussy does not make you immune to deserving a beating.”

@Kms2014, @YGTOBKM

You two will get the last work in on this one. I will be busy the next few days. The “cover models” await!

Have a nice day :-).

Jacobsays:

@Jj,

I thought you wished not to have a dialogue with me; what changed your mind? Or should Elaine diagnose you with split personality too? LOL.

In any case, I’m not Beck. On his exit note when he revealed all, we learned that he was married and ethnically an Indian (as in South Asia). I’m neither. BTW, I read his saga only in archive, not in real time; I did not notice the existence of the blog until after breaking up with my previous SB/GF last year. I’m not even that “SunShineYouLove” guy; his account registration with identical 8 first characters may well be the reason why my posts under my old username couldn’t get through the blog software as it might be looking up his email address after matching the first 8 characters. The management informed me that my account should be working and asked me to test post, but the test posts couldn’t get through the blog software. I thought perhaps there might be IP addressed based restriction, so I test posted under a new name from the same computer. As we can see obviously it’s not an IP based restriction either.

There was no attempt to hide my identity at all, as my posts under the new username came with the same signature informativeness and logic after a couple relatively short test posts as mentioned above.

FatB'StardSAsays:

@Kms2014

“Never had to. Leaving the bitch is sufficient”

My solution to dealing with a problem SB is to simply leave them, not beat them. I stand by what I said that every adult person has DESERVED to be slapped at least one point in their lives. Your racist attitude and the way you play it off because you think being a woman gives you the right to spew racism is a great example. I am sure there are many African American SB’s who you have provoked into wanting to slap you for your racist thoughts but they won’t just like I would not. The way to deal with you is to expose you for who you are.

@FatB’Stard – let’s keep the blog comments a bit lighter please. No violence or racism should be tolerated. You have been warned. I do not want to take away your commenting access.

Kms2014says:

“Jacob says:
August 14, 2014 at 5:53 am
“as far as sending a pic or two of my boyfriends/SD’s to Elaine. Well, we are friends, I trust her very much…and, if you knew anything about women, then you know we occasionally share.”

I know women well enough to know that a person’ online friends count is counted as a negative number when it comes to calculating SMV (Sexual Market Value).”

@Jacob/sunshineofyoursphintermuscle….

Coming from someone like you, whom I doubt has many/any friends in real life, or otherwise, then see why you would think such a thing 😉 That is why you keep coming back to blog, even though blocked several times as new personas. No one in your real life will listen to you, or your theories, so we are destined to be tortured again daily now…..as you will never stop posting until sunshineofyourabc’s goes through every possible name combination, in the alphabet….

Kirstensays:

@KMS – In my opinion as the moderator of this blog, the more you antagonize @Jacob, the worse the tone of this blog will become. His attacks on you and your character will only multiply. Why don’t you just all leave each other alone? This blog is not meant for people to fight on. Let’s be adults people.

@Jacob – please stop antagonizing @KMS as well. Thanks.

Kms2014says:

FBbigpoppa said, “That said, there is not one adult person on the face of the earth who has not deserved a slap down at some point. This includes you and every other woman out there. Your pussy does not make you immune to deserving a beating.”

Is there a blog moderator who might want to examine some of his posts?….all are rude, antagonistic, name calling…insulting, which crosses off many boxes in regards to the blog rules and etiquette, but now he has crossed the threshold into advocating violence, and violence against women, and refers to women as ‘pussy’ not being immune to deserving a good ‘beating’. And, when women tease him, he runs and plays the ‘racism’ card to try and get others in trouble, like any good bully does.

SunShiny….Jacob….”Beck”…. please do not deny it… you were attempting to hide your “persona” until you f*ckedup and spewed your master plan in disguise…. so do man up… will ya…. you fooled no one!!!!!

Kms2014says:

Wow, must have really irked FBbigpoppa for him to still want us booted off blog…hehe, a blog troll who wants two women booted off a blog? That is something you don’t see everyday 😉

And, think we know what kind of person we are dealing with in FBbigpoppaSD now, yes? A woman beater? A beater of SBs? I’m sorry…a beater of his bitches/pussy/women…what kind if man is that? An, I quote,

““Never had to. Leaving the bitch is sufficient. You know how hard it is to find a SD. That said, there is not one adult person on the face of the earth who has not deserved a slap down at some point. This includes you and every other woman out there. Your pussy does not make you immune to deserving a beating.”

FatB'StardSAsays:

@Ambrosia

It is clear what kind of people we are dealing with. I wonder what racial stereotype the blog racists (YGTOBKM and Kms2014) will assign to you now that you have disagreed with them.

I forgot, Kms214 cannot be racist because she lives in a certain town!

@All

I hope African American SD’s do not get put off by the racist nature of YGTOBKM and Kms2014. I am sure that there are many, many SB’s on the SA site that do not share their views. I know that this SD does not encourage racist banter under the guise of humor, and I am sure many SD agree with me as well.

nicegirlsays:

😉 thank you….

Joshsays:

@whineygirl

“Ok, alright, you ARE tall. Happy now?”

You forgot to ask if I gave a shit whether you considered me short or tall.

What you just did was to create an “issue” out of thin air when none existed, and then tried to act as if you were doing me some kind of favor, when none existed. This is the core thread that women weave again and again against their male sucker/project and sometimes with random man like me.

“I would hate to sabotage our hate hate relationship we have going here”

There is no “relationship”of any kind. You whine and I identify your behavior traits most pertinent to relationship sabotage, whether they are in dealing with a random man like me or more importantly when you are dealing with your male sucker/project. 😉

oh Josh… just stop already. Ok, alright, you ARE tall. Happy now? I would hate to sabotage our hate hate relationship we have going here ;o)

nicegirlsays:

@Jacob – I would not know who was on this blog months ago as I was not. I was being facetious because she was suggesting kicking Kms and ygkm off but no mention of FB who was obviously the catalyst to the entire ridiculous (yet entertaining) rant in the first place. There are very few SB’s with any voice worth hearing on this blog so it would be a shame to kick 2 of them off because of an antagonistic bully.

“as far as sending a pic or two of my boyfriends/SD’s to Elaine. Well, we are friends, I trust her very much…and, if you knew anything about women, then you know we occasionally share.”

I know women well enough to know that a person’ online friends count is counted as a negative number when it comes to calculating SMV (Sexual Market Value).

Jacobsays:

“You’re an idiot…I was referring to you accusing my picture of being ten years old to”

How exactly would he be able to tell the pictures are not 10 years old? JPEG header section can be easily modified. A picture taken 10yrs ago can be easily modified to say it is taken this minute! Most people do not have cameras that encrypt time stamp into the photo file like some forensic cameras do. On top of that, you could even send in a photo of a 22yo and claim that’s your photo.

When you are living in a glass house, it’s best not to cast the first stone; that applies to trying to embarrass other people by twisting their words and making up stuff about them whole-cloth, as well as calling people “idiot.” LOL.

@Jacob. I have now warned both you and @KMS – please stop engaging each other in this detrimental behavior and leave each other alone.

Jacobsays:

Ambrosia is not likely to be the same person as FB. If FB wanted to kick you off the blog, he would just contact the management like you tried to do to me. Ambrosia also posted on this blog many months ago.

Kms2014says:

You’re an idiot…I was referring to you accusing my picture of being ten years old to, Josh…not your paranoid rantings to me about Elaine seeing a pic or two of past boyfriends. And, as far as sending a pic or two of my boyfriends/SD’s to Elaine. Well, we are friends, I trust her very much…and, if you knew anything about women, then you know we occasionally share. I’m so sure that none of your past SB’s(if they ever did exist, or were just a figment of imagination, like all your identities) friends ever saw you, or she never shared your picture in secret(if nothing else but to laugh about you).

This is already getting so boring again, as it is like a broken record. Can you reinvent yourself as someone more interesting next time you change indentities. Thanks 😉

Jacobsays:

Yes, one of the top 3, Stanford, MIT and Caltech. Pick one and you have 1 in 3 chance of being correct.

Jacobsays:

“And, you do not even know about picture recognition software”

What are you talking about? I was the one saying it’s a bad idea to send photos of your SD’s to random 3rd parties on the internet because face recognition softwares exist and the algorithms are advancing very quickly as those photos sit on the hard drives of the recipients.

It’s interesting how your brain rationalization process turns your own ignorance of the subject into me not knowing the subject. Perhaps a point of acute embarrassment given your promise of discreteness as an alleged advantage of dating “mature” women. Consult your PsychologyToday if you have to.

Kms2014says:

Of course, one of the top three computer science schools 😉 And, you do not even know about picture recognition software…the only two ‘SDs’ on blog that the women and men seem to have issues with are, FB and Sunshineofyourlove4yourlove/Jacob. FB started his BS as usual last night, and was put in his place because he starts blog arguments with his trolling insulting bullshit, and, as expected, he can certainly dish it out but cannot take it, and runs to call ‘blog gods’ to have the people ‘attacking’ him blocked. Much like a bully would run away and cry after someone finally had enough, and called their bluff.

The same shrews would just launch extensive shit-test against another poster exuding male scent when they think the previous target was blocked. LOL.

Jacobsays:

Once again, that “SunShineLove” dude was not me. As for me not knowing computer basics 101, one of the top 3 computer science colleges in the country disagrees with you. It is often good coding practice to reduce the stringency of string match for non-critical applications like blogs, so that users with long usernames would be easier to log in when typo takes place. Matching first 8 characters in a username and ignore the rest is a reasonable policy, just like ignoring capitalization.

Kms2014says:

Let us see, the only ‘attacks’ made are on a self professed ‘blog troll, since Woodstock’ and a SunshineSD/Jacob with an identity crisis or tendency to be blocked from blog, so many many names must be used. I see no other men being ‘attacked’. And, the reason so many SB’s on this blog take umbrage with these two blog characters/trolls is because they are both annoying/troublemaking people, who even many of the SD’s are annoyed with, and the blog is a better place, when they post less or are blocked 😉

wow…. I missed so much last night… yo. ;o)… And “Ambrosia” What are you talking about? This must be FB in disguise that is the only possible explanation.

@Josh, you are still short and we both know it. 😉

Kms2014says:

@ELaine….

Jacob/sunshineofyourlove/sunshineofyoursphintermuscle/sunshine4you/SunshineSD really had to change names, due to a computer glitch, in the system? Ahahaha! And, I am supposed to be worried that this man could ‘out’ me…he doesn’t even know computer basics 101, lol!

Jacobsays:

@Ambrosia,

Good to see you again after not hearing from you for so many months. I suspect the recurring blog battles between the same couple woman characters against various men one after another is simply a couple rejects in real life (or one reject pretending to be two concurrent blog personalities) repeatedly trying to run “shit tests” on the only men in their lives (her life), via the blog.

What they don’t seem to realize is that their actions are needlessly adding to the workload of the blog management, and making themselves quite unappealing to potential SD’s.

nicegirlsays:

@FB..

‘“It must be hard, ygbkm…I mean, fbeestard has to keep dem ‘cover model’ beaacheess of his in line with more than his ‘generous’ allowance amounts”

It is certainly possible for me to find a “cover model” on the SA site who will go out with me for a sufficient allowance. A LOT more believable than you finding a 30 year old SD.”

I beg to differ on this point…There are many gorgeous 30+ year old women that are much better looking than some 20 year olds. Age is not the factor on beauty. AND I also disagree that everyone deserves a beating in their life. WTF are you talking about?????

Jacobsays:

@Elaine,

“If ANYONE should be blocked, it would be FB and “the person formerly known as Sunshine” (JACOB now), the latest having been blocked for his treaths to KMS and her son! Now THAT was a proper reason for blocking!
Oh no, gosh, he was not blocked, it was a bug in the SA software, how silly of me……”

You are committing defamation of another poster on the following two counts:

1. It was made amply clear that there was no threat made to KMS or her son in any legal interpretation of the word “threat.” If KMS or any other women (or men) feel their lives would be embarrassed by truthful public disclosure of their own behavior, perhaps they should not try to embarrass other posters by making up untrue charges against them. What’s really funny is that KMS at one point even expressed that public disclosure would not affect her life at all, so your continued charge of “threat” is defamation in every legal sense.

2. My old account was indeed disabled due to blog software glitch. I was in communication with management, and was informed that the account should be working and was asked to test it was indeed working. Well, the software glitch was still in place. So I have to use the new account with shorter username. I actually prefer the old username if the software glitch could be fixed, and clearly said so to the management days ago. So your accusation now of me using the new account to circumvent blog ban is yet another act of defamation.

Now that you have committed two counts of defamation against another poster, if you were part of the mob that tried to ban me on some made up “threat” charge, please be an adult and ban yourself. Thank you.

Ambrosia…

Couplefewsomemany things here:

1) It’s “kidding” yougottabekiddingme. Not “bangingme”. If Igottabebangingyou, then yougottabehavingapenis. No scissors.

2) Are you really making a complaint about offensive content while referring to me in an offensive way?

3) May I ask the source of your bias? I find it odd that you make no mention of FatBstards offenses, or any of the other offenses within the blog space.

4) I think that the blog gods are fair gods. So, if they decide to delete my or Kms2014’s account, then surely the accounts of rancid perpetrators (and their alter egos) will be deleted as well. AND THEN…I can at least read the blog without vomiting or gouging my eyes out…even if I am unable to post. Splendid. So sure…allow me to be the sacrificial lamb for my own subsequent enjoyment of reading a more pleasant blog space :). Fair warning though…FatBstard has [been trolling blogs ever since some people here were suckling their mother’s breast at a music festival 45 years ago]. So if you’re looking to weed out bad apples, Kms and I might not be the best place to start.

Anyway…

Thanks for posting the blog guidelines. I think that a better job could be done of keeping these in mind. You know…to keep people in line, of course…which I much prefer over FatBstards tactic :).

Elainesays:

@ Ambrosia

Huh??

You must be very new to the blog ….

This FatB. is continuesly harrasing and insulting people here!
Now Kms and YGBKM are just replying to his nonsense and constant female unfriendly posts and THEY should be blocked!??

If you can’t see what he is trying to do now by changing their words and putting the “racist” label on it, maybe you should just read some of his old post and not try to interfere in this way if you have no idea….

I know some people are always having the “racism” word ready to use on any occassion, but come on, re-read the whole discussion properly before you comment in this way!

If ANYONE should be blocked, it would be FB and “the person formerly known as Sunshine” (JACOB now), the latest having been blocked for his treaths to KMS and her son! Now THAT was a proper reason for blocking!

Oh no, gosh, he was not blocked, it was a bug in the SA software, how silly of me……

Ambrosiasays:

Attention Blog Moderator / SA:

SeekingArrangement.com Terms of Use Agreement

Acceptable Website Use

General Rules: You may not use this Website in order to transmit, distribute, store or destroy material (i) in violation of any applicable law or regulation, (ii) in a manner that will infringe the copyright, trademark, trade secret or other intellectual property rights of others or violate the privacy, publicity or other personal rights of others, or (iii) in a manner that is defamatory, obscene, threatening, abusive or hateful…

Furthermore, as a user, you are responsible for your own communications and are responsible for the consequences of their posting. You must not, and by using this Website you hereby agree not to, do the following things:…
(iv) post material that is obscene, defamatory, threatening, harassing, abusive, hateful, or embarrassing to another user or any other person or entity…

For violating the policies or Terms of Use of the SA website, I request that the accounts of
yougottabebangingme and
Kms2014 be deleted or at the very least suspended.

There you have it. @Kms2014, @yougottabekiddingme will assign an African American persona to any blog SD they think is “disrespectful” of women.

It’s alright though. They are just being cute.

Jacobsays:

Because of the reason cited before: the blog software seemed to be having difficulty dealing with two user names with 8 identical leading characters but different email addresses after “SunShineLove4You” signed up. So I picked a short name that did not involve redundancies with anyone else’ username.

FatB'StardSAsays:

@Kms2104

Instead of digging a bigger hole for yourself, why not come clean and apologize for your racist blog posts.

FatB'StardSAsays:

“Big Poppa” is a rap by the Notorious B.I.G. who was African American. That rap does not mention bitches to my knowledge.

Good to know that whenever the bitch is mentioned or talk of abusing women comes up the first thing that comes to your mind is an African American rapper. You could have referenced an Eminem rap but you did not.

“I live in America’s hip-hop capital…” = “I am not racist. I have many black friends!”

You are disgusting.

Kms2014says:

I live in America’s hip-hop capital, thank you very much 😉 hehe

Kms2014says:

I find these comments offensive, as my inspiration comes from the likes of Aussie, white, big booty, rappin’ Iggy Izelea, or whatever her name is, and Eminem. I find your suggestion that only African Americans are rappers and reference to their ‘culture’ to be a tad offensive….

Why are you associating abusing women or calling them bitches with African American culture? Why is this the first thing that came to mind? Both of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Kms2014says:

Of course, FBbigpoppa could just be into BDSM and is indirectly telling us, hehe…

I do, however, think you should consider changing your name to “BigPoppaSD” solely so that you can rap the lyrics to your potential sugar biatches, and have them comply with demonstrating their love for you by rubbing their titties.

You’d really be da man then, SuggaPoppa.

[shakes head]

I have no further questions, FatBstard.

Kms2014says:

Sure, FB, with the allowances you ‘claim’ to spend, of course you have cover models. I offered to send you any proof that your fat little self would like…but, you come on blog, spout your one liners, then, as predictable, disappear into the night. And, for the last time, as you know…I do not have any 30 year old SDs…had a 28 year old last year, and a 49 and 34, now 35 year old this year. Get it right 😉

Actually, let us see proof of your ‘cover model’. Surely, if she is a cover model, then you have pics, yes?

And, if you are an advocate of beating/slapping women…well, we were joking before, but you are just sad, if you really think that way….

Kms2014says:

Oh yes, who could forget the line…’rub your tities, if you love, big poppa’…

Joshsays:

@FB,

I am not at the multiple SBs phase right now. That was six+ months ago. Right now I am in a very sexually comfortable situation without having to evaluate a bunch. I will be in the market for one or two soon though.

I will surely keep you posted. 😉

@Kms

Oh yes! I forgot he’s dealing with “cover models”. Those must be the hardest to keep in line.

FatBstard…

You should try marketing your training program. Go on a global tour (consider walking) and give motivational speeches, have some book signings, pick up some new cover model bitches along the way. They like tours, I think.

Kms2014says:

It must be hard, ygbkm…I mean, fbeestard has to keep dem ‘cover model’ beaacheess of his in line with more than his ‘generous’ allowance amounts 😉 I wonder how he does it, and still has so much energy left for daily doses of blog vitriol 😉

Rhetorical question: If a man has more than enough sex already, should he continue to seek more SBs? For what? To mentor them? 😉

“FatB’StardSA says:
August 13, 2014 at 3:44 pm
@Josh

We have all been there. Your problems are not unique nor special.

You need to learn how to keep a bitch in line. SA can help with that as you can at least try to learn how to keep a SB bitch in line. Spend more time fucking SB’s, showing them who is boss, and less time fucking around on a stupid blog.”

FatBstard…

You suck. Like…a lot. A whole lot. I mean…you suck so much, your jaws should hurt…or at least be skinnier.

Joshsays:

😉

FatB'StardSAsays:

@Josh

We have all been there. Your problems are not unique nor special.

You need to learn how to keep a bitch in line. SA can help with that as you can at least try to learn how to keep a SB bitch in line. Spend more time fucking SB’s, showing them who is boss, and less time fucking around on a stupid blog.

Samanthasays:

Hi everyone. I was wondering if I could get some insight… I’ve been on seekingarrangement.com for over a month now with no luck. I haven’t even met up with a single daddy
Most of the men I do message seem to take weeks to reply and some just stop replying alltogether. I just don’t get it. I’m pretty attractive so I know it’s not that. I am also verified.

Are there any REAL sugar daddies on this site? I mean those that are seriously looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement. I’m just really getting discouraged by my experience.

42SWMsays:

If people permanently quit every time something blows up in their faces, there would be far fewer inventions, far fewer corporate success stories, virtually no medicines worth having, etc. Henry Ford went bankrupt twice before succeeding. If artists and musicians changed career paths just because someone early on took a big dump on their dreams, screwed them out of what was theirs, etc. the world would be devoid of the great artists and musicians of history.

Being burned previously does not inherently mean not to try again, it is a signal to try differently than before.

The thought that “this time will be different” is what allows most people to get up in the morning, and is a necessary counterweight to what can drive people into despair.

“I guess I just don’t get why a man would allow himself to be pulled into anything after being burned badly like that.”

Man’s hubris that “She’s different” and “this time I gotta keeper.” 😉

Alexissays:

@Josh
“Female marketing is a well oiled machine. As soon as a man gets out of one sabotaged relationship, he is pulled into another.

You can even see here on the blog that some women keep insisting that what I write is because I just “happened” to get involved with some bad apples, and would be just fine if I found the right woman in my life. ;)”

I guess I just don’t get why a man would allow himself to be pulled into anything after being burned badly like that. Your stance makes much more sense to me.

@everyone re: Robin William
I just don’t even GET why there IS even alimony anymore?? Women can work now. This is an antiquated procedure which should be eradicated.

“…many men are saying no to marriage or children, which is a position obviously quite different from any proposed co-parenting plans.”
There is absolutely no reason for a man to get married in 2014. Ninety-nine percent of all women provide sex out of marriage and there is no longer any societal mark on “bastard” children, plus there are a myriad of financial risks (especially to a wealthy man) involved.

Oh wait lol, I just thought of one – marrying a woman who has money. Ok, but aside of that absolutely no dang reason in this day and age for a man to take that kind of risk.

Unlike some other blog personalities, I actually do not make up things.

Joshsays:

LOL!

Stop talking to yourself, Sunshine.

Jacobsays:

There is no multiple personality issue here. I suspect the blog software may have gone into a fit trying to verify two usernames that have identical first 8 characters but different email addresses. Whoever “SunShineOfYourLove” is, could you verify my theory by posting a test message under a different shorter name?

Will the real SunshineOfYourLife please stand up?

In the meantime…I’m in the mood for a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich. Wonder if I have enough raspberry jam. Lemme check…

“Petty personal attacks like calling people “asshole” is not endearing in a potential SB.”

Good thing I’m not a potential SB to the person to whom the endearment was directed. He loves the blog more than me, and will never leave it…which is his own prerequisite for banging or licking or otherwise pleasing a blog SB. Not even that I am at all here to meet potential benefactors nor even that my love and I would even be compatible for lust and lovemaking in real life. So…yeah, we bite each other now and then, but do know that those bites can also turn to sweet nibbles.

BTW, in case anyone is wondering, “SunShineOfYourLove” was not me. I’m using the new username because the blog software is having technical difficulties handling my old username.

Jacobsays:

The problem with Robin Williams was that he did not loathe marriage enough. LOL. For all we know, at the time of his death, the man may well loved his current wife very much. In fact, the net result of his suicide is benefiting his current wife and stop further bleeding of their current marital assets into egregious alimony payments to ex-wives. It’s a drastic solution to exercise the termination-on-death clause in what is essentially a form of debt / debt slavery that is non-heritable. Because he already set up trust funds for the kids (and most of them are already adults anyway), it is an effective solution to stop the financial bleeding, albeit as he once said, “suicide is usually a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” Although his alimony problem (gap between real income for a 63yo comedian having his TV show cancelled vs. imputed future income at the time of his divorce) may not be so temporary.

His drug and alcohol problem had been under control for many years. His latest check into rehab was for depression, not drug or alcohol problem. Financial stress does often cause depressions.

Petty personal attacks like calling people “asshole” is not endearing in a potential SB.

Kms2014says:

Yes, that is why the internet and media is full of articles of his well documented drug and alcohol dependency issues, dating back to the 80’s…and the man still suffered from alcoholism as he was just recently in rehab, and spoke many times of his depression and tendency to relapse into alcohol…if he loathed marriage so much, then why marry for third time, to his last wife. Don’t think wives were the issue, but neither you, I or anyone else knows all the specifics as to why this poor man did this….and SunshineSD, I’m so sure you think know all the specifics, ‘oh, all knowing sunshineofyourasshole’. Why don’t you try that screen name, lol!

“Divorce is expensive,” he recently said. “I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’, but they changed it to ‘alimony’. It’s ripping your heart out through your wallet.”

Source: RadarOnline dot com

Jacobsays:

“Behind every successful man, there is a strong, wise woman working hard to get her cut. ;)”

Getting her cut is fine. The problem is that under “Marriage 2.0” the calculation of alimony has the wife’s feminist lawyers fired up to extract the maximum possible under “imputed earnings” in order to maximize their legal fees; i.e. earnings that do not exist and may not exist at all. Men and women in creative jobs simply do not work well under stress; creative work need the free men (and women) to do the creating. Stressed out men and women simply do not produce good quality creative work. Even the women and children suffer under such a legal framework that leads to the destruction of the creative worker that is the source of the cash stream. Wives in those situations are easily manipulated by their lawyers and their own emotions maximize short-term titular gains at the expense of the ex-wives’ and children’s own long term interest.

Jacobsays:

@KMS
Just got back from evening date here. Not sure why you are working up such a frenzy over this. The willful ignorance of the real reason for his death is more than disingenuous. Please don’t even bother hiding behind the children. We are talking about egregiously greedy ex-wives and divorce lawyers here. His financial stress that eventually leading to his suicide had little to do with child support, but everything to do with the huge cost of divorces and ongoing alimony payment requirement. The guy was literally broke just before he committed suicide. He had to come out of long term retirement to do projects that he hated, like sequels and TV shows, due to the necessity of making alimony payment, which has nothing to do with child support.

Not sure why anyone dragged co-parenting plans into this. Williams’ financial woes and eventual suicide have little to do with children; he would have been facing the same expensive divorce and egregious alimony payment requirement even if there had been no children. Those woes were result of “Marriage 2.0” under current laws imposed by decades of feminist lawyers and lawmakers that severely disadvantage the higher earner (usually the man) in a marriage. . . to such a degree that many men are saying no to marriage or children, which is a position obviously quite different from any proposed co-parenting plans.

Besides even though you deny that you don’t feel the same way the other blog women do, yiur post is just another variation of the same theme. Think and grow wise!

LOL!

nicegirlsays:

Josh,

I understand that you are not looking for a relationship and yes, you have been more than CLEAR on this fact. I appreciate your solid stance on the subject. My comment was not suggesting you were looking. .. I assume I am @yetanotherwhinywoman. I am ex-military and have never been accused of being “whiny” so I think that is a bit funny.

I am NOT looking for any “relationship” with any woman whatsoever.

And I have told you on more than one occasions I take my women “by prescription in limited quantities” only. 😉

nicegirlsays:

@Josh

“You can even see here on the blog that some women keep insisting that what I write is because I just “happened” to get involved with some bad apples, and would be just fine if I found the right woman in my life. ;)”

Others may feel this way but I don’t think you would be fine if you found the right woman. Frankly, I think you could meet and maybe have already been with an amazing woman that isn’t a total taker but you are so closed off that you will never actually see her for the person she is. That is the unfortunate reality.

Joshsays:

Alexis

Female marketing is a well oiled machine. As soon as a man gets out of one sabotaged relationship, he is pulled into another.

You can even see here on the blog that some women keep insisting that what I write is because I just “happened” to get involved with some bad apples, and would be just fine if I found the right woman in my life. 😉

Behind every successful man, there is a strong, wise woman working hard to get her cut. 😉

Kms2014says:

Kms2014says:

Are you trying to deny there was a drug and alcohol dependency issue here? You, of all people, are in denial of drugs and alcohol playing a part in this? He also said in many interviews that he had severe depression, and drug and dependency issues, since his ‘Mork and Mindy’ days. I am not even going into this with you, out of respect for, Robin Williams, whom I really liked and respected. Some people have severe depression brought on by years of drug and alcohol abuse, while others have the depression to begin with, and use drugs and alcohol to self medicate. The fact that you are trying to say if he had
never married these women, or planned the children out properly financially, then he would not have had any substance abuse issues beyond ridiculous. Blaming the women and children for his suicide…that he chose to marry….? You are a fool. That is all.

Jacobsays:

Robin Williams gave several interviews over the past few years in which he revealed that he was taking on sequals and TV shows purely out of the need to make ends meet, due to his divorces. His suicide took place after he became extremely depressed due to financial short-fall after the cancellation of his TV show in May, less than 3 months ago.

BTW, I don’t see how he relates to the topic you gals are trying to raise (LOL ;-). He was just a guy whose career peaked too early and got divorce-raped at the peak of his career. It’s a common story for regular high income individuals who negelected to plan out their financial affairs with proper growth trajectory to keep those constantly asking “what have you done for me lately?” happy 😉 I don’t think he ever tried or should have tried to have many children as he had not make proper planning out his own financial growth. Most men fail to realize the magnitude of the problem of having and keeping women happy before too late (never mind children).

Andrewsays:

nicegirl – I agree 100%

I have been on the site for a week or so and am stunned at the women who ask me to download an app called whatsapp so I can call them… I respond that I own a bloody phone and can use it quite admirably to call

Also surprised by how many real hookers, they don’t even try to hide the fact

Kms2014says:

Am very sad for this man and family…depression and alcohol abuse is not a good combination as it is a depressant.

Kms2014says:

You really have no idea why that man truly committed suicide, or can know what was going through his mind. He had drug and alcohol dependency issues, from before his three divorces. Have respect, and do not blame divorce as the sole issue as you do not know for sure. And, sure it was not as simple as that. He had severe depression issues, apparently, as many comedian types do.

Jacobsays:

The poor guy died relatively young of divorce-related complications:

“Divorce is expensive,” he recently said. “I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’, but they changed it to ‘alimony’. It’s a Latin word for ripping your heart out through your wallet.”

3 divorces, and he had to end retirement and go back to work. All 4 of them and their kids would probably have been happier if he stayed single and just dated them one after another and take care of all three plus the kids via defined expense accounts that he could control instead of divorce courts that have no clue on how to calculate future income.

Jacobsays:

Same here. I only had 1 no show for 1st date, and that was nearly 5 years ago (I forgot how many dozens 1st dates ago). Only one cancellation ever for 1st date, and she called 9 hours before the date was to take place, and gave some BS reason; I suspect the real reason was her having to wait till the end of the day to get a text-back the previous day as I was busy in meetings all day. A decent candidate, but too bad if she thought she was going to wrap me around her finger, next!

I do not expect sex on 1st dates, if that makes a difference. Just a dinner date like normal dating. Sometimes the girl explicitly wanted me to be prepared to try her out on first date if we click over dinner; other times, it happened shortly after they meet me in person anyway, usually 1st or second date, very few waited until 3rd date. So no need to rush or debate sex. Debating is what the blog girls are for 😉

– From what I’ve heard here on this blog, it’s tougher for SB’s of color. My personal tastes run to women with more melanin than me, but apparently I’m a minority.

But at the end of the day you don’t need a lot of potential SDs, just the one right one.

BelleNoirsays:

As for the no shows, I have yet to converse with anyone online that I’ve wanted to meet yet. While I’ve been a member for over a year, I’ve only just actively started using the site. With that being said, can I some feedback from the vets? it’s the same name that I’m commenting with, and I’m from New York, thank you

BelleNoirsays:

Thanks for the input all

nicegirlsays:

20% is ridiculous! I am so surprised! I know texting is preferred however, if a person can’t talk on the phone I take it as a red flag. I prefer to talk a bit before we meet. It makes me feel more comfortable. I hope you find success in what you are looking for.

Yes 42swm that’s what I’m about to have to start doing. Mandatory confirmation. It really does have to be standard practice. It’s been 50% for me so far. But, maybe I just got some bad apples or done screwed up with one or both.

42SWMsays:

I have been on this site and meeting pot SBs on and off again for about two years. In that time I have only had two true poofs—SBs who didn’t show up to a mutually agreed upon first meeting without some time of communication at least 10 minutes in advance. One of those two pot SBs was very apologetic after, but I still cut her off. One was a pure no show with notice.

I have had quite a few pot SBs show up late by more than 30 minutes. I have also had last minute cancellations, as I typically prompt for confirmation just as I am about to leave. I tell people in advance that if I don’t have confirmation a 30 minutes prior to X, that I won’t be showing up—so please do confirm.

Are people really encountering a “no show without notice/explanation” percentage of 20 for first meetings? Wow.

Nope, but you may not have heard but today’s youngens prefer txting. Asking to talk on the phone is akin to asking to have a telegraph sent. I’m not that worried about them being a woman or not. And yes, we usually are all “chemistried” up before the poofing. Or at least that’s the way it appears. Obviously some girls are being waaaaaaay more sweet and lively to sugar than they would on a normal site.

Again, if this was only happening to me it’d be fine. But a diff thread indicated that it was like 20% (or more) that are poofing. That’s kind of a lot of wasted time.

nicegirlsays:

@Poof, Are you comfortable talking to them on the phone prior to meeting? This would confirm it is in fact a female ;o) and it could develop some chemistry so she is more excited and less nervous to meet in person.

Sure “nicegirl” I’m sure they do and are, just as I am. And yes, sometimes they just stop communicating. Which is fine unless they’re doing it the day before/day of our planned meeting. I’ve usually gone through some trouble to plan etc. and can’t make plans with anyone else. And no, I’m not taking it “personally”, I’m taking it against my ability to do something else during the planned time. The random girl I’m supposed to meet may well not even be a girl at all lol.

And Josh, I’m a man. Are you like the site’s creator or overseer or something? I see you have posted a lot. I would be happy to refrain from posting generic messages in specific threads if you’d make a generic place to put concerns. There doesn’t appear to be one.

nicegirlsays:

@Poof, Interesting that you chose that as your name. I am not sure giving anyone the opportunity to post negative icons or symbols to ones page is a positive one. You never know the motives of others and what they might do to make you look less the good on your own profile page. I have never actually had an experience where someone set a meeting with me and either canceled at the last minute or just stood me up all together. I have had plenty just stop communicating though and I just move on. I figure they are chatting with many, don’t take it personally.

Joshsays:

@Poof!

Are you a man or a woman?

Please try not to post “generic” messages.

Thanks

I should add, if they poofed like a week beforehand I wouldn’t be upset at all. But of course, they wait till the day before, or the day of, to poof. Seriously? I get it that some people get cold feet or whatever but there needs feedback that they have cold feet!

I’m totally in agreement flyr, at least regarding that if we made it just a rating system where you could write anything. But it could be done in such a way that it can be moderated. Say by only including little icons for various behavior that is known to go on all the time on the site.

Frankly the only one I have any problem with is the poofer. I don’t care if they be shopping, changed their minds, or whatever. But the poofing really puts you out of your time preparing, planning, and you can’t plan to see someone else at that time either. Not to mention that it seems to be rampant. I’ve barely been a member 3 weeks and have had 2 poofers out of 4 meet ups planned already. I mean, sure, easy come easy go, but the whole thing could be so easily avoided with nothing but a little poof counter beside everyone’s name. 1-2 poofs, meh, ok, they had a bad day. 6 poofs, you might want to just pass em on by, they’re obviously not for srs.

flyRsays:

You see the passions here, imagine if there was a rating process.

Hell has no fury

The potential SB or SD is probably looking at others , perhaps even after the first meet, My guess is that some are still looking after multiple meets especially in p4p arrangements.

I agree if there was a pattern future potentials would like to know. If I have met a SB and we are discussing moving forward but I see that she is on every half hour I’ll assume the deal is being shopped.

Yes there are many from both sexes here for the fun of shopping rather than owning . No different from real life.

Yellowsays:

@ Josh haha

Joshsays:

@Yellow

“I only want short men.”

Never heard that before. Like NEVER, EVER. 😉

Yellowsays:

The problem with love in transitional relationships or in sugar is most people want to put it in a box of some kind. For example I only date black women, I only date white women, I only like tall men, I only want short men. When you open your self up to all possibilities you have a higher chance at success for finding someone worth your love and affection. TO be quiet honest love is a numbers game and dumb luck. If people were more open they would have a better chance IMO.

Elainesays:

Must have misunderstood Josh.

Thought you were just saying she would never find an SD because you dont seem to have very friendly thoughts towards her.

I think she is a very intelligent and fascinating lady and will attract few, but high quality, SDs.
The cheap (and fat) basterds and fakes will not fill her mailbox with their crappy messages, because they know she is far too smart, and out of their league.

I am curious why you would start with “I disagree with you” and then outline the parameters necessary to find an SD, lack of which was the basis of my assessment? 😉

Elainesays:

Josh thanx for your friendly words, but I disagree with you regarding the chances for YGBKM to find a SD.

The SD in my target -but looking for younger- would be absolutely delighted by her!

All she needs to do is make a good profile ( which shouldn’t be difficult with her writing skills) and start contacting interesting profiles.
That is absolutely necessary, because those succesful men are seldom on line here and don’t have time to search.
And if they do, they might never find you among the hundreds of thousands female profiles!

Yeah, Gary Chapman first wrote about these love languages over a decade ago or so and drew from the bible. Credit is definitely due.

Joshsays:

@yougottabeshittingme

“Elaine seems to have a seasoned and polished yet realistic approach regarding where she falls along the sugar spectrum, and the type of person she wants to attract. I respect that.”

True.

“I wouldn’t be foolish enough to think that I’ll be forever young, so I appreciate the insight and experience the older ladies bring.”

Sweetheart, you have no SD, and with your attitude and approach you ain’t getting one anytime soon either. First you start getting SD while you’re younger. Then worry about SDs un your older years. Baby steps, OK? 😉

“I could be wrong, but somehow I get the sense that it’s the well-rounded older ladies who get to have their cake and eat it too (never did get that expression, though)”

If you never did get that expression how do yiu know what the older ladies gettig or not getting?

“I admire the ladies who have learned through experience to bake a cake so moist and tasty that men gobble it up even without all the cosmetic icing.”

Only Elaine and Kms2014 are getting any action. Elaine is pro-active and Kms2014 is laid back.

“Just my unworthy opinion though :).”

Unworthy opinions are fine. Everyone has an opnion. So be it. Advice is a horse of a different color.

If you are nice to them they will set you up with in the right direction. The others, male as well as female, will waste your time with feel-good but useless “advice.”

Joshsays:

Dumb and dumber… 😉

flyRsays:

@Alison Wonderful SB’s come in all ages. Yes there are far more young ones but the foundation of value is scarcity and desirability. Personal belief is that “likeable authenticity” is a major part. Attractive, sensual, interesting etc all count. Only the most needy SD’s are so obsessed with image that vacuous arm candy is desirable.

“not sure about the sugar thing” Think about what’s important to you including the way you are treated, intellectually stimulated, treated as a lover if you find comfort go for it, otherwise enjoy the view from the edge of the pool

I think when a girl gets to a certain age they know better what they want and need. I got older, trying to turn my beautiful babies into decent human beings. I gave up some things that I now want back in my life. Youth isn’t actually one of them. Now maybe a bit of cosmetic work to get rid of my motherhood stripes. Otherwise I am all set. What I want only an older guy can give me. That I know for sure. Not sure about the sugar thing. But I get it.

I would let SA demonstrate that they can put on a couple of successful parties . My take is that NY was OK ……. the earlier party reports were not great.

“Josh says:
August 7, 2014 at 1:23 pm
It seems that many older women use this blog as can’t-get-no-sd anonymous. More later…”

I appreciate the perspective that older ladies share. Elaine seems to have a seasoned and polished yet realistic approach regarding where she falls along the sugar spectrum, and the type of person she wants to attract. I respect that. I wouldn’t be foolish enough to think that I’ll be forever young, so I appreciate the insight and experience the older ladies bring. I could be wrong, but somehow I get the sense that it’s the well-rounded older ladies who get to have their cake and eat it too (never did get that expression, though)…despite how big a piece it is. The icing, by the way, should only complement the cake. I admire the ladies who have learned through experience to bake a cake so moist and tasty that men gobble it up even without all the cosmetic icing. At any rate…I’m taking notes. Just my unworthy opinion though :).

Joshsays:

It seems that many older women use this blog as can’t-get-no-sd anonymous. More later… 😉

@”Moni says:

You know what I would like? I would really like to go to the LA event. Has anyone gone to any of the events held by SA?”

I was considering going to the New York Affair, but didnt. I remember reading something about chauches, skanks and Velcro therapeutic shoes prancing about. Oh, and I saw a picture of this really slimy guy with greasy hair cupping the ass of a seemingly repulsed but tolerant girl.

[shrugs]
But!!!!! If Walmart hires me to be a greeter, and I get fired and nominated to “The People of Walmart” Hall of Fame and become rich and famous after I claw away at incoming patrons, you can come to the Blog Sugar Affair I plan to throw. Dont forget to wear your claws! No one has signed up to come yet…and likely wont, that doesnt mean that you cant!

There’ll be an inflatable wrestle ring with jumbo boxing gloves…and whipped cream (because that would just be obnoxious)… for Ultimate Blogger Challenges.
Itll be the sexiest, most therapeutic (no velcro) affair around. Come one, come all ;-p.

@Josh, Good thing I don’t live my life based on FB’s criteria :)…. not that there is anything wrong with it!

Joshsays:

Based on FB’s criteria, Nicegirl has no SD either.

Nicegirlsays:

@Africa… That story was as uncomfortable for me to read as it was for others to watch probably. The playing up the “little girl” scenario is a fetish that I am sure some look for and enjoy showing off. Sounds like that was the case for your and your SD.

Nicegirlsays:

The interesting thing is that it seems the feeling among SD’s is that as long as they are in an unfamiliar setting then it is fine to be seen and maybe even flaunt being with a much younger woman but in familiar settings… not so much. That was my personal experience too. When the relationship gets to a point where the SB wants to be included in your personal life it might be time to end it.

I agree with Elaine, being with a much younger man is just uncomfortable for me. I have been approached many times by men in their early 20’s and I just would never consider it. I have no interest in teaching a boy his sex skills and how to properly please a woman.

Elainesays:

I would feel very uncomfortable in public with a much younger looking man in private settings.

I would hate people to think he is my toyboy and I am paying him to be around.
Which I have never done btw, but just would’t want to be seen as a sorry cougar having to pay for young male company

Maybe a female thing?
Maybe my insecurity?
Most men seem to be proud to be seen in such situation with a much younger girl….shrug.
What I mean, come on, Hugh Hefner looks ridiculous with his bimbo’s!
Really nobody would ever think they would be with him if he was not paying them.

I would not feel uncomfortable to be seen with a man 20 years my major now, if he is still looking good.
At a certain age the difference is just not that obviously visible anymore.

Hahaha @Arica that’s so cute:)

Monisays:

You know what I would like? I would really like to go to the LA event. Has anyone gone to any of the events held by SA?

@gentle(man)soul

I had a Daddy once, and I derived ludicrously immense pleasure from showing off our unconventional dynamic… he was 36, I was [am] 18. I’d wear my big hair bow, a flouncy skirt and knee stockings, and totally unleash my “little” side with him in public, while he wore his business suit and kindled my playfulness with an amused half-smile, and led me around by the hand. The awesomest thing ever was when we made out and people kinda tilted their heads and widened their eyes a bit, as if to say “whoa…I totally thought she was his daughter.” hahaha. Totally hot.

flyRsays:

@ LULU ““Do you sugars feel embarrassed or reluctant to be seen by your peers or family with your (much older) Daddy?””

On the other side I avoid flaunting sugar around the neighborhood where I live because it makes many of the wives feel uncomfortable. I’ll introduce them as someone from the office, consultant etc and refrain from public displays of affection. If they are spending the night I’ll be sure that the guest room looks used.

Technology has empowered many young people to be in business for themselves (design, architecture, engineering, marketing, finance, pr,editing, and a host of other activities) they will usually just introduce me as one of their business clients ( monkey business but they don’t need to know) . I have found that a lot of SB’s are here because they are starting a business.

Aricasays:

I’m so “Words of Affirmation” it’s freaky xD When I surmise that a man I like has really taken time to “make sense” of me, finds happiness in the conclusions he draws, and expresses that to me in a sincere way, it’s like a rocket booster that lasts me months. Even the tiniest non-carnal compliments, if genuine, make me feel utterly invincible.<3

It would be great if SA had a stealth mode which looked like some mindless research project without pictures which could be accessed at the office or client offices.

flyRsays:

Belle Noir – (re pen pals) Have you ever walked past an attractive pair of shoes in the window and ducked inside, knowing that you would never by the shoes but just wanting to try them on and see how they feel.
SEPARATING THE TIREKICKERS FROM THE REAL
The astute salesman needs to be able to sort out the
right now buyer
interested and might be a buyer with the proper sales effort
hopeless tire kicker / sampler

AGE DIFFERENCES It’s nice to hear from some of the others involved in sugar with a 20+ year gap. Lots of surprises. I do not think any age group of SB has a monopoly on attractiveness or skills. Like everything else it is about people.

Hi I’m new to this site, and I’m curious as to how anyone actually sets arrangements up. It seems as though people just want a pen pal. Has that been anyone else’s experience?

Lulusays:

@gentle(man)soul

“Do you sugars feel embarrassed or reluctant to be seen by your peers or family with your (much older) Daddy?”

While my ex sweet (married) lover would not have called himself a SugarDaddy, he did care for me in all aspects of my life.

He was a powerful man 20 years older than me. Rather than be embarrassed, it excited us. He always remarked on how differently he was treated with me around. He loved it. I loved it as well. In restaurants, shoppes, or just in the supermarket in my neighborhood, I was shown more respect. In addition, hahaha, there is nothing better than having sex with the knowledge that you are doing something a little naughty.

(Race was more of a challenge for us than age. We had to deal with a lot of remarks and unkind treatment on that score. We also had to create agreements and ways for us to deal with this. We found laughter to be the best medicine. We also got in time that if we were comfortable with it, others would follow suit.)

We were very open in our relationship, I included him in all aspects of my life and he included me in his office and social life. He met my best-friend (she thought he was cute, but too old for me ), my mother (she read him the riot act about being in integrity, but fell in love with him because he was very good to me and I was so happy), and he spoke to my father (haha haha, My father was not thrilled that my lover was the same age as him).

In his world I was introduced as an intern or a student doing research in his field. I know no one believed us as there was just too much (yummy) fire between us. It was palpable.

It is because of him that I became interested in older gentlemen. What attracted me to him the most was his sense of self, skill, and silent power. He was so sure of himself. He was old school, a true gentleman. And yes, we loved another dearly, but that came with time, trust, and honesty. The more he told me that he was going to divorce his wife, the more I resented him.

One day I finally said, “let’s talk, bs free, and really be open.
A. We are lovers.
B. You are not my boy-friend.
C. You are not leaving your wife. D. We both like being free.
E. We truly love each other and why can’t we be satisfied with that?

Needless to say, the pressure was off and we shared an amazing two years. Love is always possible when there is honesty and openness.

I do have to admit that our first holiday together or should I say apart was difficult. We fixed that by celebrating the holidays the week before and after. It was the best, haha. It becomes a creative dance of stepping up and stepping back and with a consideration and creativity, it can be so sweet.

I have since dated three amazing older gentlemen and I do not think that I could go back to being with a younger man. There is something quite delicious about a powerful, self-assured, and mature gentleman.
Is my experience with him comparable to that of a SB/SD arrangement?

Joshsays:

BSV and gentle.

I can dig that as well. 😉

BrownSugar_Vysays:

“Then there are Sugars . I like to let myself fall as deeply in Loerve/lust as I can ,knowing that it is temporary,but oh so intense.You can let it all hang out restricted only by your counterpart’s willingness to participate . I like hearing the L word and sex talk and love talk . We both know it isn’t “real” in the sense that one is going to go cuckoo and intrude into IRL . It is fantasy but involve true feelings .”

@gentle(man)soul

I couldn’t agree more. The appeal of this lifestyle is very much centered around two people who love the excitement of courtship without the commitment that goes along with traditional relationships.

gentle(man)soulsays:

@YGBK

I’m in ! But you have to rely on the tougher guys here to start the fight .
I guess I am a romantic in that I agree with you . There ARE different types of LOVE . True Love -now that is THE ONE who you can’t live without,you get short of breath when you think about him , you want to talk to him/her ,think about and devour him/her. Unfortunately, that being in love feeling doesn’t last .It “matures” into a realistic true love where you have to deal with issues whereby resentments and real problems intrude on the passionate feelings .

Then there is love for your friends,dog,boat,yoga teacher.

Then there are Sugars . I like to let myself fall as deeply in Loerve/lust as I can ,knowing that it is temporary,but oh so intense.You can let it all hang out restricted only by your counterpart’s willingness to participate . I like hearing the L word and sex talk and love talk . We both know it isn’t “real” in the sense that one is going to go cuckoo and intrude into IRL . It is fantasy but involve true feelings .

This is what keeps me coming back to the Sugar World every time I think it isn’t healthy –certainly for a marriage or committed relationship. You can experience falling in love over and over again .

So I shared on another thread that Id gone on a date that I enjoyed, and was looking forward to the second date. Well, the second date didn’t happen because something awkward came up (a miscommunication). At this time, I think that we are kind of trying to sort through some things in our own minds, and make sense of what we want and how to approach it. He, too, is new to this.

When we were on our first date, we talked some about our attitudes toward love and companionship. I shared with him my experience with falling in love with a person knowing that the physical and proximal loveship would end. He was baffled at how and why anyone would do that. I, on the other hand, can not imagine how two people can share such intimate spaces and NOT fall in love.

I guess Ive felt a bit confused about how loveship translates in sugar relationships. For me, love is boundless. And even if it can only exist in the shadows of those dark lurkings, it can engulf all of the space there, encompassing every curve and crevice within that realm. So going into a sugar relationship–as with any relationship–with the mind set that I’m only going to love this person this much because they can only be this much or because our love can only exist this way or that way seems foreign to me. That’s not to say that there aren’t established boundaries and realistic expectations. Nor is it to say that there are places that arent explored. It doesn’t make sharing any less meaningful to me.

As it pertains to sugar exchange in loveship…

[sighs]

I feel like if I am in a relationship with someone I respect, value and desire, I would naturally want to share myself with that person freely. Freely in the sense of naturally wanting to give and please that person. I would think the same would be true of a benefactor who respected, valued and desired his gracious companion. In that space–the space of genuine sharing and reciprocal enrichment–I feel that the parameters of giving are contingent upon each other’s needs and means (financial, emotional, physical, gifts, time etc) to share…not some market average, or definitively outlined tit for tat.

I think that love can mean different things to different people, and just the thought of loveship–the word in itself– can be intimidating to some. It comes and flows so easily for me. Fluidly. From the heaviest downpours to the lightest of drizzles and faintest trickles. It’s what feels free-falling to me.

Maybe counts for a lot of SBs too,….being bitten…and shy now..”

Of course. I guess it can be hard to tell going into a relationship as sometimes even the tame ones bite :/.

gentle(man)soulsays:

I am generally 40 yrs older than my SBs. I am not embarrassed at all but have never been in public with my peers or family . When I am out of town I couldn’t care less .

One old woman (50 -60) was staring at me and my SB holding hands in a coffee shop line with a disgusted look on her face . Her husband was next to her smirking –I’m sure wishing he was in my shoes. My SB saw her and stuck her tongue in my mouth and grabbed my crotch . What a girl she was !

NC Gentsays:

@gentlemansoul — I am twice my SBs age. I am the one that is more likely to feel reluctant or embarrassed when we are out in public.

Nicegirlsays:

When I was 23 I was dating a man that was 37. He seemed like he was embarrassed by my age. It didn’t bother me one bit. I could tell that he liked the fact that I was young and cute but in public was embarrassed by the fact that I looked too young… Does that make sense? I was not interested in a secret affair which I think he would have loved.

I met his family and over heard his mother tell someone that I was in my mid 30’s… so she was obviously mortified by my real age…. Ultimately my feels got hurt.

That’s very lovely and refreshing to hear. Thanks for sharing.

“So we sneak around in the shadows satisfying as many love needs as we can.”

Id imagine this makes it all the more alluring. A fanciful realm, if you will.

NC Gentsays:

Regarding loveship, defintely been bitten a few times, and now I am shy. My current SB wants me to meet her roommate so we can hangout at her new apartment. I have been avoiding it, but it appears it will be inevitable if I want to keep seeing her ughhhhh

gentle(man)soulsays:

yougottabekiddingme

Somehow, I get the impression that SDs arent interested in loveship?

Au Contraire mon ami . I love being in love . I try hard to make my SB fall for me . But I am frustrated being “just” a good lay (sniff) I want to be valued for more . It is hard to explore all aspects of a real relationship when a sugar couple has to sneak around trying to avoid SOs or peer disapproval .My dear SB # 1 showed me all the aspects of love language but she was not interested in exposing herself and her secret life to her family and friends . And I was on board for the same reasons .
So we sneak around in the shadows satisfying as many love needs as we can.

Things a secret lover can do safely :
1)text/email love messages at random times
2)make love making a creative and enthusiastic event
3)give silly little gifts to let us know she is thinking about us
4)be available for your SD’s needs
5)be understanding when SD has a scheduling conflict .
6)use endearing terms for your Daddy
7)act appreciative for what you are receiving

What not to do :

1) not respond in a timely manner to communication attempts. This is a first impression and a Baby who will not answer texts/emails is disrespectful at best . You would be amazed how many SBs do this . Maximum response time should be 12 hours
2)deny sexual favors. This arrangement is not a marriage ,partnership,or dating. Be open to exploration and study how to satisfy your SD . He should be doing the same for you .
3)always take. My SBs have all asked what to give me for B Day ,etc. I do not want them spending my money on me . Thoughtful cards ,inexpensive gifts that are safe to display are fine .
4) be hard to get . If you have a job that restricts your availability,make sure he knows that up front . Consider him your priority over optional social events . After all ,he is your “job” in a way .
5) Whine when Daddy has to reschedule or can’t be available. The SO might have changed the plans ,a Kid might be home from school,etc.
6) refer to him as “Hey” . Learn what he wants to be called and call him that . Daddy, Jim, Honey,Baby,Sweetie ,Darling ,whatever .
7)act neutral or worse ,uncaring . Each visit reinforce how much you appreciate(love,miss,lust for,etc) him .

The bottom line ,the more you kiss his ass (literally and figuratively ),the more he will fall in Love(lust ,Like) with you and treat you like the Princess you are,or would like to be .

@ygbk, I think you are right but I do also think that with the right chemistry it can develop into a loveship.

Somehow, I get the impression that SDs arent interested in loveship?

Lulusays:

@Josh

“It would have been nice to give credit to Dr. Gary Chapman”… and/or not to water down his message.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the 5 Languages of love are as such:
1. Words of Affirmation:
This language uses words to affirm people.
2. Acts of Service:
For these people, actions speak louder than words.
3. Receiving Gifts:
For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.
4. Quality Time:
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.
5. Physical Touch:
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

The object is to discover, learn, and practice the love language of your partner (SB or SD) thereby, loving your partner (SB or SD) better and meeting their needs.

“Love Stimulates Love. Love is a choice. We can request love, but we cannot demand love. We cannot make our (SB or SD) speak our love language. However, though we can’t control our (SB or SD), we can control our attitude and our behavior.

The good news is that love stimulates love. And though the object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love, it is a fact that when we receive love, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our (SB or SD) desires.

Try this…

Choose an attitude of love. Learn the love language of your

Try this…

Choose an attitude of love. Learn the love language of your (SB or SD) and speak it on a regular basis.

…Before you know it, they’ll be working to love you as well as you have loved them.

And that is exactly how love stimulates love.”

Victoriasays:

In this day and age of on line everything, I think this is perfect! You each can look for the things you need and want from another. I just hope I get my picture up and background check soon… as I’ve seen a’ few good men ( lol) I hope are still there when I can finally communicate.
….. keep it up all of you.
Victoria

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