I called Ex late last night. I called his office, from my google voice account, because it doesn't use my regular phone number. I called, it rang once, I hung up. I panicked. What if he had his office number forwarded to his phone? What if caller id still says it's me? It was 11.30. I felt like an asshole. I just wanted to hear his voice, I was hoping it would go straight to voicemail, and I would hear him on the message, that's all.

Driving home on a new route not past his office hasn't stopped me crying most nights. I sat and bawled like a fucking baby in the traffic last night.

E and I didn't celebrate yesterday, we're going out tonight for V Day instead. I made him some chocolate-dipped strawberries though.Tip: you can't melt chocolate in a microwave, even if it says you can. My microwave was lying. I know my smoke detector can tolerate a room full of burning chocolate now, anyway.. :-/ So much for that plan. I still managed to make enough strawberries for tonight though, but the chocolate was a little lumpy and started to set again. They look more like poop-covered strawberries, and kind of reflect how I was feeling at the time! I will melt chocolate the old fashioned way from now on.