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Friday, May 25, 2012

Life is so short, and a childhood is so brief. Your kids grow up so very fast, right in front of your eyes. Someone once told me " The days are long, but the years are short." That is very true. I want to enjoy each moment of my children's childhood. I want to embrace how adorable they are right now, tomorrow, a year from now, 5 years, 10 etc.

I want to be the best Mom possible for my children. I want them to grow knowing that though I was tough, I loved them more than they can even begin to fathom at least until they have their own kids. I want so much for them, but at the base of it I want them to become what they want to become. I want them to grow and learn and embrace what life brings to them.

The reality is though as they grow I know that sometimes my wants will override theirs, just for the simple fact they are young or as they get older a protective choice on my part will need to be made. However, I do hope by the time they are adults they know I did my best to be the best for them.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I am so excited! I reached my goal weight of 135 pounds. I have officially lost 27 pounds. I am super proud of myself. The weigh-loss has been good for me. I decided to get healthy and I did. I feel better in general, and about myself. I like how I look again. It has given me incentive to wear make-up, cute clothes and shoes, to fix my hair, etc.
I am working on my posture as well. I have always slumped and I don't like it. I don't like the look it portrays and I don't want to portray that for my kids either. It certainly make you look and feel more confident in yourself. I am confident in myself so I would like to show that rather than the slump look.
I feel better about myself, more so than I have felt in years. It is a wonderful feeling. I recommend it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Since January I have been trying to lose weight and change my eating habits. I have been small my entire life. Granted, both times I got pregnant I was heavy for me. I know the numbers don't sound bad to some but to me they did. I have weighed 125-135 for most of my life and I thought 145 was heavy. I weighed the exact same weight both times I got pregnant, 145. I lost back down to the 145 within a year of my first child and immediately got pregnant with my second child. I had a problem pregnancy that resulted in a fat free diet for 7 weeks. I hated it. When I finally had V, I weighed 135. I was 10 pounds lighter than when I GOT pregnant. I began eating everything it seemed. I found that going without good tasting food was a license to eat a lot of bad food after she was born and I did.

Fourteen months later I went to the doctor and weighted 162. I had gained 27 pounds. I was wearing a size 14 clothes. My tops went from small to large and my pants went from size 6 to size 14. Any woman reading this blog will understand how I felt at that moment. I felt huge. I felt ugly. I certainly did not feel pretty or sexy. I know you can at any weight but I did not. It was traumatizing to me.

Another factor for me was that my mom is diabetic and I was diabetic with both kids. I have more than a 50% higher chance of getting type II than most. I do not want to be diabetic when I get older and I am already 38. If I kept going the way I was going, eating whatever I wanted, which included tons of sugar, fat, and just plain junk. I was going to continue to gain weight which would make me even more susceptible to diabetes. I was heading straight in the direction of a Type II diabetic diagnoses.

That moment changed my life.

I decided right then, right there to change how I ate permanently. I was not going to go on diet. I was going to change how I ate for good. And I did. I cut my junk food first. The chips, the processed food, the pizza rolls, the candy bars, the cookies. Then I started cutting back my sugar. After I adjusted to all that, I cut my red meat down to a very minimum. I also stopped drinking soda, period. None at all, ever. I also starting drinking plenty of water. At this point I added a ton of fruits and veggies.

During this process I added exercise. At first it was only a little bit, then I tried Yoga. I love yoga. It works and it so relaxing. It helps me feel better on a day to day basis. If you haven't tried it, Do!

I have lost 27 since January. I am wearing a size 6 and small to medium tops. My shoe size even went back down to the 6.5 to 7 that I was before I had kids.

I must admit that I am super happy with how I look and super proud of myself for working so hard to get here.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Today was grocery shopping day. I sat down, I made a list. I went through the menu plan and put everything that was needed. I looked at recipes I wanted to try. I just got a dehydrator to go along with the healthy eating. Perfect solution for good snacks. Except that it doesn't work. I bought all this wonderful fruit and veggies that I had planned on drying to create some seriously good snack food for my family and now I can't because the above mentioned dehydrator does not work. Uuugghhh. Need I say more.
Well I guess we will be eating a ton of fresh fruit and veggies!! LOL

Here I am awake at what feels like O'dark thirty. I went to bed to late to be up this early. I need to get back to the rhythm I had before Oklahoma. I was going to bed and getting up and feeling great. Lately though, I have been going to bed far too late and then hurting during the day because I am so tired. uuuggghhh or if I am lucky Dr. O will be home and will get up with the kids and let me sleep in. So the new goal will be to go to bed tonight, maybe that is why I am up at this time. I will certainly go to bed tonight.

I am trying to get things back to normal but so far I have not been fully successful. It seems I am tired all the time, first it was the stress of the trip, then not sleeping well, now going to bed too late and getting up too early.

I have been trying to take care of some important paperwork for the family. I have paid the bills as best I can. I have obtained the Christmas Knit List, I am finishing up on some projects that are in play. I have gone to the doctor. I guess I am just trying to take care of things that slipped by the way side with Oklahoma.

Another new thing for me. I have been working on losing weight since January and I can say I have lost pounds. I am more health conscious that I have ever been. I am choosier in what I eat, and now crave fruits and veggies rather than cake and cookies. I got a dehydrator so I can make some healthy snacks not just for me but for the kids. Another choice that I made was to exercise more. I have Jillian tape but I am not tackled her yet, she kicks my butt!!

Yoga, though. I did start. I love it. I have never really done yoga and I find it is awesome. It helps with the pain of the Fibromyalgia for sure. It also helps my neck as well. If I do it right before bed, it relaxes me so much I fall right to sleep. It is also helping with my posture I think. 38 years of slumping is enough. I am working on standing up straight.

There are a lot of changes but I want these changes to be in effect and have the girls be part of all this. I want them to grow up in a healthy atmosphere. Learning to eat properly and exercise frequently. There is so much I want for my girls and I can only try to get there one step at a time.

Dr. O is in the middle of an ER rotation, then down to serious studying for Step 2. Which he takes in mid-July. I am nervous I will admit, but I am believing in God that he will see us through as he always has before. Immediately following Step 2 are away rotations, of which I am not looking forward to. However, they must be done for the good of our family. I know this but that does not mean I am happy to be apart from my hubby for an extended period of time.

As I said before though, God will see us through as he always has before. God has a bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves.