2009 At-Risk Survivor

The stupidity displayed by the participants in the
following tales stops short of the ultimate Darwin Awards
sacrifice. Nevertheless, we salute the spirit and innovation of
their misadventures.

Motorized Bar Stool
2009 At-Risk Survivor
Confirmed True by Darwin

(4 March 2009, New Jersey) The Newark Fire Department was called to assist
a man who had suffered injuries from a crash--while driving a motorized
bar stool! The man claimed that his lawnmower/barstool hybrid could reach a
speedy 38 mph on its five-horsepower engine, but he was traveling a sedate
20 mph when he rolled and crashed while making a turn.

Although under the speed limit, he was over the drink limit. During a
police interview at the hospital, he admitted to consuming "about fifteen
beers." When numbers reach the double digits, it's hard to be exact.

The driver was issued a citation for operating a vehicle (classified as
"all others") while intoxicated, and driving with a suspended
license--presumably the motivation behind his motorized creation. He
pleaded not guilty, preferring a jury trial. Demanding, in fact, a trial
before his peers. (Those of you who drive motorized bar stools and other
unconventional vehicles, watch your mailbox for a jury summons.)

If the 28-year-old inventor wants to drive a hybrid, he should consider
modifying his bar stool to corner better--once he regains the right to
operate a motorized vehicle on public roads.