Voices of Faith: What counsel would you give someone who thinks God abandoned them?

This reaction to misfortune, a tragic injury or death, or discovery of a fatal illness, upsets us all, not just those personally affected. "Why do bad things happen to good people?" remains a puzzle that all of us confront at some point in our lives. And most of us find the answers unsatisfactory. Despite our deep and strong faith, we still wonder why God may be picking on us. And each incidence is another test of our faith and belief. I wish we did have a good and comforting answer. The best most of us can advise is continued prayer, adherence to our faith, and support from other faith members, clergy, family and friends. I often suggest that the simple ministry of "presence" is way more powerful than anything we might try to say. Grief will run its course and we will somehow struggle on.

Deacon Mike Evans

Sacred Heart Church, Anderson

In spite of being deprived of justice and embittered by his losses, Job said, "God's breath is in me… I will maintain my integrity." The writers of the Tanakh thought of God as truth. To me, truth is verifiable. I can feel hope, love, compassion, anger, vengeance and despair — all manifestations of God. I can't explain the wonders I see, but I appreciate and marvel at them. I think and act. I make choices. I will eventually die. These are my truths.

I've never met a Jew who has said, "God has abandoned me." Some, near death, admit they have abandoned their Jewish practices but not their Jewish beliefs. The desperate refugees of Syria and Darfur seek sustenance in products of man, not God. They haven't abandoned their faith; they plea for humans to ease their suffering. Ronald Reagan said, "We're never defeated unless we give up on God."

George Wandrocke, Chaplain

Temple Beth Israel, Redding

Be still and listen with an open heart.

Rev. Ann Corrin

Pilgrim United Church of Christ, Redding

It seems to me that someone who feels abandoned is really experiencing is the realization that prayers are not answered and that life is often filled with difficulties. Because if a good god existed, he could never forsake anyone. Or perhaps this person is simply no longer able to believe her religious teachings and is feeling lost and alone.

Like others who have gone through this, I know that the loss of the belief in an ever-present and all-powerful friend can seem terrifying. But I also know that the realization that we are alone in a vast universe can be an opportunity for growth and maturation. Without an imaginary best friend, we learn to depend on our own strength and ingenuity as well as our friends and family.

Elisabeth Steadman

Humanist Society of Redding

You can't start by preaching to someone in this state. First you have to find out the events that caused them to reach this conclusion. You need to help the person see that their situation is not as extreme as it may appear by telling them about a similar experience you or another had. Secondly it would be wise to pray together by doing an arati or puja.

Then I would explain that even though God is all powerful, there is one thing that God cannot do, and that is separate himself from you. God is unable to separate himself from any part of his creation. We can turn our back on God, but he is cannot to abandon us. I would remind them that God is always closer to us than our breath. So no matter how we feel, God is always with us.

Kulapati I. Siva-Das, Hindu

Saiva Siddhanta Church, Redding

I'd begin with the good news that the person does believe in God in some way or else feeling abandoned would not be an issue. I'd listen fully and then comment on how interesting it is that Spirit brought the person to connect with me as I have a very different perspective. I actually believe that no one can be abandoned by God because no one can be separate from God. I'd invite the person into prayer with me.

In Unity, we teach God is everywhere present including in and through each one of us — that the very breath we breathe is a God breath and we are one with the divine. Like the story of the prodigal son, God is patiently waiting for each one of us to come home to our oneness so that together, we can co-create a world that works for all.

Rev. Sandra Soley Keep

Unity in Redding

If the person in question is a Christian I will take them to God's word where he explicitly promises that he will never abandon his people, and to places where it teaches that God never breaks his promises. I will take them to stories written in the Bible where people have been in situations where it might appear that God had abandoned them, but in fact he has not (Job, Joseph). I will go through the teaching that God will at times withdraw the light of his countenance as a means of lovingly chastening those who have fallen into sin or neglected critical aspects of their Christian walk.

If the person is not a believer, I will show them that indeed they are the ones who have forsaken God, and they should not expect that God should comfort them in the midst of difficulties until they humble themselves and call on him in faith.

Rev. Gene Crow, Pastor

Redding Reformed Fellowship

Harken back to those days when, as a younger person, you found out that -- spoiler alert -- your favorite elf was not real, was only a construct made up by adults and Walmart; to the time when the Tooth Fairy lost her luster. Remember the disappointment, but then, remember also that life went on. Life goes on in the absence of imaginary friends. It may not be as comfortable, but it is more real.

William Shockley

Shasta Atheists and Freethinkers, Shasta Lake

Honest, hearing that kind of statement would make me want to ask questions and listen more than offer counsel. But for the good point of the question, I find that when we think God is not for us in some way, it usually means we're at a crossroads for our understanding of God. It can mean we have to let go of expecting God to please or satisfy us, or it can mean we need to think deeper how God influences the goings on in our lives.

Rod Brayfindley

First United Methodist Church, Redding

I would think that before you thought God had abandoned you, you would need to have a relationship with God. If your relationship is strong and you study/understand your Bible, then you would know that God will never abandoned you. In that you should have complete confidence.

Of course for someone who is not there with God it is easy to assume that when bad things happen it seems reasonable that God has left the scene. I find that most of the time a person arrives at this conclusion is when our desires and solutions to problems are not met: Cancer is not cured, a heart attack is not survived, a loved one falls into drug/alcohol abuse. Even for a strong believer it is important to remember that God sees the big picture. Everything is in his timing and not ours. We survive by finding God's strength.

Jim White, lay leader

Weaverville Church of the Nazarene

Before saying anything I would listen. When I hear why he believes God has abandoned him I would ask if God ever abandoned anyone before. Historically, God abandoned his only son on the cross — Jesus confirms this — so that no other man need ever again feel abandoned by God. I would then begin to ask questions leading to understanding what God was actually up to in his life when he felt so abandoned. I might share what I call a faith-stretcher story of my own, a time in which God deeply disappointed me until I discovered what he was up to in apparently failing me. Part of the lifelong repentance process is accepting God's perspective without having it forced on you. I have felt this way more than once, and God has always been most patient in pulling me back to reality. I can do no less for my friend.

James Wilson

PrayNorthState, Redding

Next week's question: In November the Supreme Court, which asks for God's protection before every public session, heard a dispute over prayer in the halls of government. The case being argued at the court Wednesday involves prayers said at the start of town council meetings in Greece, N.Y., a Rochester suburb. Do you think prayer should be part of any government procedures or policies? What are some of the pros and cons?

View all responses to the weekly question on Redding.com. E-mail jskropanic@redding.com.