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Yusuf then told me my neighbor’s wife was his sister and that he intended to pay me a visit next morning.

He did come next morning, June 7, 2014 and expressed his desire to make repairs in my house. He brought a building contractor and asked for a quotation for the repairs.

The contractor asked Rs70,000 for a little construction job and Yusuf thought it could be done for half the quoted price.

Hence, the greedy contractor was not hired.

He told me he had built my left neighbor’s new house for the sake of his sister while he had moved to another house a couple furlongs away.

But I fool still failed to understand his intentions because God had told me in a dream that the people in this neighborhood were good.

So God sent His angel again and I saw another dream that night.

I was sitting in the toilet of an old mosque. The door of the rest room was broken but was good enough.

Then I woke up.

Using the toilet means answering pressing needs. A mosque means Presence of God.

Hence, I decided to ignore Yusuf’s lucrative offer to build me a new house.

On the third day of my arrival to Asia House, on June 8, 2014, there was a massive terrorist attack on Jinnah International Airport in which many people from this vicinity were also killed.

Yusuf, therefore, changed his plans a little.

He took me to Bin Qasim port, some 50 km (31 miles) afar and showed me his office.

He had 4 trailers and he definitely must have been making good money.

He told me Bin Qasim Port was a very peaceful place and there were many businesses & firms from the Persian Gulf countries where I could apply for a lucrative job.

He also had cared to take me there on a Friday as it used to be my employer’s weekend.

We served the Friday prayers in the nearby small mosque.

As God had been telling me to keep away from Persian Gulf countries since 1998, I failed to show any particular interest in this new offer.

Moreover, the dream had already suggested that God’s Holy Spirit dwelt in Asia House so how could I have left it? Isn’t Jesus the bread of life? Should I have left the Bread of Life or was my decision to stick to the freaky ruins of Asia House based on sound, Christian judgment?

Besides, Yusuf had no idea about my conversion to Christianity since 2001, which I keep as secret as per Jesus’ commandment in Gospel.

In 2012, while I was still living with my strange wife, Saima, God had shown me a dream, a nightmare.

I was standing on Saforah roundabout on University Road, facing Saddar, downtown Karachi. I saw a nuclear missile hitting Saddar, some 20 km (12.5 miles) away.

The military rushed to Saddar but they got stuck in traffic and that’s when I saw an even larger nuke hit Saddar. Then the angel of the Lord woke me up.

The attack on Karachi’s only airport was that first massive terrorist attack. It was to give a shock to evil Pakistan military who harbor “good” terrorists and promote a religious fanatic extremism in the country.

Getting stuck in traffic means internal discord.

The Nawaz administration as well as the semi-independent Pakistan military were hit hard because the Administration were holding negotiation talks with TTP, the Pakistani Taliban, when TTP carried out that terrorist attack.

God had found it prudent to foretell me about Airport Terrorist attack and something bigger still yet to correct Pakistan military.

Waqar’s Sister

I used to have dinner at Cafe al-Hasan on my way back from my Print Shop business, where they used to serve paratha (delicious oily bread) along with some chickpeas for Rs15. It’s the cheapest food one can find in Pakistan.

On September 6, Waqar, the proprietor’s son, offered me his sister.

But he committed a grave mistake.

He said “We need a man for the ‘night job'”.

I felt very disgusted for his disrespect of women in general and his sister, in particular and my disgust showed off.

He noticed my aversion and immediately corrected himself.

“Can you please meet my father in the morning?” he asked.

I made no promise because his ill manners had struck me too hard.

But when I went out in the morning, I found out that I had just Rs7 on me — I was short of Rs3 for a ride to office, some 3 km (2 miles) away.

September 2014 was a particularly hot month, otherwise 3 km are nothing for me.

I’m a weird disciple of Jesus Christ: I don’t fish men; I fish women to God and I guess I and Jesus did a pretty good job of fishing all the women in the bloody landlord’s house to God.

God then kicked me out of my School Teacher’s job and I could afford that room no more.

Once more, I was homeless.

I suffer from anxiety and I had a great panic attack as rent-pay date came near. My wife had tried to send me to an Islamic religious seminary whom I feared were I.S. (Islamic State) butchers who were paid by my older brother, Hamid, to kill and bury me.

I told Edith, my good Bible Teacher in http://www.WorldBibleSchool.org, about my troubles. She asked Qamar Dilnawaz, the minister of Church of Christ, Pakistan, to help me out ASAP.

Qamar did nothing and left me to the butchers of I.S.

Mission:Impossible

God, on the other hand, sent His angel and I saw a dream. The angel of God was asking me to move to this house, my late mom’s house.

After I woke up, He asked me to find a pickup for moving my stuff for Rs300.

I went to the Suzuki pickup trucks’ stand on that strange Friday.

Nobody agreed to move my stuff for less than Rs500. I returned back to my room to pack up, not knowing how I was supposed to find a Rs300 ride.

As I reached the turn of my street,
I found a donkey cart. He asked me Rs300 for the job and I hired him. Yes, a donkey cart!

Some people find it embarrassing to sit on a donkey cart.

As I reached my late mom’s house, God’s angel reminded me how in olden days, the kings used to enter their conquered cities sitting on an ass, as Jesus Christ also had done with Jerusalem.

He brought a smile to my signature sad face.

My mom’s house is in ruins but it was all mine — no more rents to pay!

I gave this house a beautiful name: Asia House, after my daughter; it’s a Greek word that means “welcome” because when I was freakin’ homeless, this house had welcomed me.

In fact, God’s Holy Spirit dwells here and it freaks me out.

But before I entered Asia House, God’s angel asked me to see where Fahmidah, the heroine of this memoir, was and how she was doing — my next Mission:Impossible.

I had known Fahmidah in January, 1992, when I had visited Aasia House with my mom and my younger sister, Aamna.

I was almost 25 then while Fahmidah was 7-9, I’m not sure.

You can find more details in The Son of Woman, which you’ll find informative, yet interesting.

I looked around but failed to see her.

Yusuf’s Sister

I only found my left-side neighbor’s wife — who didn’t fit the age: she seemed 40s while Fahmidah could hardly be 35.

A neighbor named Tanweer helped me with breaking the locks and since the ground floor had become lower than the sewer, it was filled with sewage.

I tried to find the source of dirty water leak but it was too dark a house, with no electricity and no windows for sunlight. Some freaky house!

Luckily, I found the ladder my mom had bought for me back in 1976 visit to Pakistan.

I used that ladder and stayed in the upper story as the staircase is outside in the front yard and was covered with thorny branches of I guess the banyan tree along with two bee hives.

In one of the dreams, God had informed me my arrival to Asia House was a carefully-executed plan. He said the people there were good.

On the next night of my arrival, I ran into a gentleman who introduced himself to me as Yusuf.

He said he used to come to play in our house and that my older sister knows him well and it made me glad to know that.

In the first post by this name, Who Stole My Soap Bar? I told a story of my neighbor, Hanif, who had stolen my soap bar because he wanted me to marry his sister, Fahmidah.

In fact, he’s so desperate to marry me to that beautiful damsel that he is ready to go to any length.

But I’m not going to marry that girl whom I’v always loved.

Find this interesting?

How about you sending me a friend request to my Facebook account and we’ll share each other’s posts?

Jurlene, my Bible Teacher, once chastised me for such adventures.

She was right when she said “Berni, didn’t I ask you to stop your adventures with women? They give you heartaches and worsen your insomnia problem.”

Poor Jurlene. I failed to obey her because I don’t fear evil.

I enjoy evil — even if it gives me heartache.

When I’m up to something good, I don’t care about storms nor tornadoes. What’s a heartache to stop me from doing the will of God?

She once likened me to “Samson” (The Invincible) because she fool said I had a bad eye for women, like Samson!

How evil on the part of my Bible Teacher!

How dare she judge the Judge of Israel?

Samson had committed no error when he married Delilah, the Palestinian woman.

God wanted him to do that to strike terror in the hearts of bloody Palestinians and teach them to respect the God of Jews — even if they had learned the secret of Samson’s incredible powers.

So my Bible Teacher used to believe the false doctrine of Jesus Christ dying for our sins and hence, she thought that this gave her a license to judge people and commit sins!

What evidence she had against me? I kept telling her about women showing lust in me and my fishing them for God but she thought I had a bad eye for women. How disgusting these teachers are!

There’s always some wisdom of God in my life’s adventures and she should have known that it’s impossible for us to understand God’s wisdom unless He explains it to us and He doesn’t explain to sinners, does He?

Why then she did evil and tried to judge me instead of asking me to explain myself?

In particular, why do they do evil and try to find error with the prophets, the judges and even God himself?

And if teachers and preachers of Bible can find error with the judges and prophets of Bible — which they believe is the word of God — will they not find errors with you? Will they not judge you?

Don’t these evil idiots read about Pharisees finding error with the prostitute who had come to listen to the word of God and Jesus’ refusing to judge her and even saving her from the death penalty?

Jesus, the Word of God, refuses to judge a known prostitute but these “holy” teachers and preachers will even find error with God.

That’s why I’m an outlaw and hated by many teachers and most preachers.

So why Hanif is so hell-bent on marrying me to his beautiful sister?

Why me?

When my wife threw me out of my apartment in February, 2014, I asked her where to go and she suggested I move to my brother, Abid’s.

I had no other place to go to. So I moved to Abid’s although I despise his insolence.

After two months of giving me hell, he once thought of glorifying Ka’ba, the largest idol of the world that is worshipped by Muslims.

I had once mentioned my amusement of God sending a flock of nightingales dropping stones on an army of elephants sent to destroy Ka’ba in 1998, completely shattering the elephants into pieces (Koran:105).

He decided to remind me of that amazing story (to show me how my conversion to Christianity was at fault.)

I asked him if they could ever find an archeological evidence of that army.

“No. It was completely shattered into pieces,” he answered.

“And what about the pots and the armors? You know, such a huge army doesn’t move empty-handed?”

“Everything must have been shattered” he answered in bewilderment.

“So it’s a false story, isn’t it?”

He was dumbfounded.

But his religious bigotry made him mad at me.

Next day, he tried to turn his humiliation into a victory.

At dinner, he accused me of being an idiot for having glorified Ka’ba in 1998. I said “I did it on purpose.”

That really infuriated him and his blood pressure shot up and he swallowed his pills.

He fool thought I trapped him since 1998! How could I’ve done that on my own? It was God who lays these traps.

My conversion to Christianity is both the reason of my troubles as well as the vehicle of my greatest victories — like Joseph, son of Israel.

I guess there’s little doubt that God is the most misunderstood person of mankind history.

But there’s a couple that have been equally misunderstood for thousands of years: Adam and Eve.

The story told in the Book of Genesis has been misinterpreted. It’s amazing how men find error with their innocent parents.

First, God forbade only Adam from eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Where does Genesis say that God forbade Eve from eating of it?

Adam was a careless guy, that’s why God scared him of that tree. When God created Eve, Adam loved her and mistakenly told her not to eat from that freaky tree.

Go and read Genesis. Why does Eve say “nor touch it”? Why did she think touching that tree was also forbidden?

Adam!

Yes, it was Adam who suffered from anxiety so when God scared him from that Tree, he told himself not to even touch it!

That’s why Eve had doubts. Her doubts proved correct. The Serpent asked her a very logical question, “Do you really believe God would plant a harmful tree right in the middle of the garden? Are you nuts?”

Eve suffered from no anxiety nor was she careless. Why? Because when God creates a soul, He cuts them in two. Any shortcoming in one part is perfect in the other part.

When both put together, they again become a whole. A perfect whole.

That’s why God wants no man to show lust nor marry any woman but to enlist God’s help in finding his soulmate. Marrying his soulmate will always solve all his problems and he’ll become perfect.

Every single statement of Genesis has been misunderstood. God didn’t create an evil Tree. It was a very good tree. Just it was dangerous for Adam because he fool liked the molten iron (which he called ‘Good Gold’) more than he liked edible (cooked) foods there. God knew Adam was going to eat all the wrong, dangerous things in those laboratories.

Hence, the command not to eat ANYTHING from that “tree”. But why forbid Eve? She knew what was good to eat!

God wanted Adam & Eve to eat from that cooked food because they fool had no idea why they were naked and what to do to mate and become one.

They had grown up bodies but “minor”, childish minds. As soon as they tasted wheat, they loved its taste and their minds grew up and they mated.

When God says there was also the Tree of Life in the midst of Garden, He means the Holy Spirit. He also wanted Adam to eat from that Tree but Adam needed a help meat, a woman.

Hence, God created Eve to help him eat from BOTH trees. As soon as they ate cooked food, they grew up and mated. Immediately, Adam also ate from the Tree of Life because mating with his soulmate, Eve, made him whole and he immediately received the Holy Spirit and became a saint.

God never fails in His duties. It’s we, men, who err and marry wrong woman. Then we dip ourselves in some water and expect to receive the free gift of the Holy Spirit but we don’t, do we?

Water doesn’t cleanse our evil hearts. Don’t you know that? It’s the fires of love that cleanse our hearts. Love covers over the multitude of sins. Water doesn’t.

Stop preaching the Original Sin. There was no sin committed there. Why do evil and preach falsehood? Why keep trying to find an error with your parents, Adam and Eve?

And why do you say Adam was hiding from God in the fig trees? Can one hide from God? Are you nuts?

He thought it was a Greek thief and he hid himself in the fig trees. It was night time and Adam had poor night vision, also.

And stop preaching bad news of God punishing your parents.

God only told Adam that he was a lover of wheat so from now on, his staple food was going to become bread. Why do you call that a punishment? God says “I don’t find pleasure in punishing the sinner. My pleasure is for the sinner to return back to Me”. Don’t you know that?

And He told Eve the good news that she now was with a child and she was going to know his time when she was going to experience labor pains. Why call that a punishment?

Note: This is the second part. Read the first part here. Thanks for your understanding.

“This way, we’ll get rid of this evil woman. But her death must be an accident. Let a bus run her over but save me and my children; let only Saima die and let not my name be tarnished. When I’d tell my uncle (her father), he must see clearly that God killed her because she was very evil.” I prayed.

After this apology, I spent many weeks and months contemplating Saima’s accidental death; reviewing its all sides. I imagined the funeral, the burial and behold, everything was to my satisfaction.

When months passed with me dreaming of Saima’s death, God then surprised me with a simple question.

He asked me “And will you be able to take care of these children?”

It felt like a 440-volt jolt. I said “No, dear God! Don’t you kill Saima please. I gave you a very wrong and stupid advice. Thank you for not listening to my stupid apology but having done Your will.

“More than once I told Saima ‘Only you can take care of the children. If you leave them to me, they’ll surely die’!”

God then asked me “Then tell Me what should I do?”

I pondered for several days and then asked God “Please tell me some trick that’ll kill Saima’s evil and she’ll return back good as before.”

God asked “Have you left any effort or trick not tried?”

I thought very hard but I couldn’t think of anything more I could do. I gave her love but the more I loved her, the more she hated me. Finally, I got mad at her and said “Your condition is like ‘The illness increased as the medicine was administered’!”

Then I tried to reason with her but she kept her crooked ways. Finally I got pissed off and said “I wish I had a magical hammer & nail. Then I’d hammer down my explanation in your head”!

Then I tried figuring out who was corrupting her. I asked her “Does your mother corrupt you?” She shook her head in disagreement.

I then asked her “Does your father corrupt you?” She again shook her head in disagreement.

“Does your sister, Memona, corrupt you?” but she shook her head in disagreement.

“Does your brother, Mubashir, corrupt you?” She then got frustrated and said “It’s not me who’s under evil influence. It’s you who’s been listening to others”!

Stupid woman. She was blaming me for listening to God!

Then I tried to convince her she was getting attacks of hysteria. “It happens with all the stresses of life,” I said. I told her she needed to see a good shrink. I offered to show myself to him also and take my part of the medicines so that she won’t shy from people calling her “insane”. But she answered “It’s not me who’s crazy. It’s you who’s nuts.”

Stupid woman. She was calling my gentle ways “insanity”! She wanted me to just beat her every time she behaved like a bi*ch!

What a strange woman!

I also tried to turn her to God but she used to hate God. She used to greatly dislike my Bible reading and she used to hate my habit of asking God questions.

I then got mad one day and told her “The devil and women are created from the same piece of dust!”

Another time, I said “You’re now completely rotten.” Another time, I told her “The children need a good mother.”

Therefore, I asked God in return “I’ve tried all I could but have failed to correct this strange woman. I’ve tried to give her love. I’ve tried to reason with her. I’ve tried to threaten her. I even have tried beating her, apologizing to her but she has turned into a very stubborn thing. What else do you think I can try?”

God said “You’ve exhausted all options. You can do nothing more. Tell Me what should I do?”

I put all my brains to it. Finally, I thought of a novel idea. I asked God “Don’t kill Saima nor tolerate her evil anymore. Instead, think of some way whereby she’ll keep evil, but I and my children will be somehow saved from her evil.” For several months, I spent time thinking about this intelligent idea. As the time passed, I got convinced my suggestion was very good. This time around, I had given consideration to everything.

I asked God “What have you done, God? What will happen to my children?” God said “It’s what I told you two years ago through the dreams but it took you two years to understand. Now you and your children are going to be safe from Saima’s evil ways.”

I was shocked. The decision God had taken was the right solution but it took me time to grasp it. With so much love, tolerance and care God had explained His solution to me.

All along, I believed I was making God understand me while in reality, it was God helping me understand Him!

I had just joined Dar-ul-Ishaat as a web developer when God’s angel came to me and I saw a vision.

I saw myself sitting on a sofa in the lobby of some university’s dormitory, where my Monia, my soulmate, was studying.

In front of me was a counter and there was the Counter Guy standing there.

On my right hand was the door. A stupid guy entered, came down the couple steps and went straight to the Counter Guy.

He had come with his arms dangling in a disrespectful manner and asked for Monia.

The Counter Guy rebuked him and that stupid, ill-mannered guy turned around and went straight out.

That amazed me because I wondered “Who is this guy whose orders are obeyed by all and sundry?”

I looked at the Counter Guy to see his face but I observed that I was unable to see his face.

Then I woke up.

“We’re not allowed to see the face of God”, say the Jews.

I sat up and thanked God for saving my Monia for me and taking good care of her through all the years.

He had saved her for me despite my sincere request to marry her to a nice guy who’d treat her well after she had refused my marriage proposal in late June, 1997.

In fact, it was me who had asked her why she won’t go see her mom back in August 1996 soon after I met her for the first time.

She had pointed her finger to her eyes and said “al-Haman” (The neighbors will see me).

But when I slept with her, I took away her shyness because I don’t shy from nor fear bad guys.

Weren’t it these same neighbors who had rushed to save her from the assailants when they had heard her shouts for help and sent the assailants to 10 years of prison?

Weren’t these donkeys aware of Monia’s innocence and assailants’ fault?

Why should one fear or shy away from such idiots?

In the morning, a wicked idea came to me and I offered Monia to escort her till the main square of Immouzzer and she agreed.

Once we reached the turn of her street, I kissed her lips and she kissed me back.

We didn’t fear anyone. We didn’t shy from anyone. We kissed passionately in the main square of the little town of Immouzzer.

Nothing bad happened. No one objected. And why would they?

Weren’t we free people?

By next year, she got rid of all her shyness because I’d frequently take her out and she’d hold my arm. Once, she sat on my laps and we enjoyed a cup of tea.

Sometimes, we’d lip-kiss and show our affection to the world.

In a year’s time, I helped her get rid of fear & shyness and she fool listened to me, refused my marriage proposal and went back to her mom!

It was me who had spoiled our marriage plans!

I did that because I loved her so thoroughly and God had asked me not to take her away from her mom; otherwise she was going to miss her mom.

That’s why I don’t regret my actions.

I had advised her to go back to her mom for her own good because she had left her mom in Fes and had come with her aunt to Immouzzer.

But even after seeing that vision, I fool had failed to see the obvious.

That’s why God resent the angel (whom the Jews call ‘Gabriel’) and I saw the second vision.

I saw I was entering a gymnasium. Monia was the instructor and I was her only client.

She lied down on a blue mattress, threw her hips in the air as my wife, Saima, used to do whenever she enjoyed sex and said “Make love like this!”

Then I woke up and sat up.

I was at a loss to understand. I thought “Why God always asks me to love Saima? Why doesn’t He ask Saima to love me? And why was Monia copying Saima’s ways? Does God want to tell me that Saima no longer loves me? Why? Don’t I already know that?”

I mean what’s the point?

I was so confused. I just kept wondering about God’s strange ways.

Then I suddenly got it: God was telling me “I’m going to dissolve your marriage to Saima and marry you to your Monia”!

I immediately advised God against doing such a horrible thing. I presented my apology to God with all due respect.

I said “No, dear God, don’t you do that, please. Think about my children. I got little children and they’re going to miss their mom and cry “Ma… Ma! What will happen to my poor children?”

“So what should I do then?”, asked God, my Lord.

“Don’t do anything. I don’t want Monia, I want Saima because I got two children now and the children want Saima, not Monia” I said.

“But Saima doesn’t love the children. She uses them. She’s spoiled their school year. She distorts their minds by her continuous bickering & fights.” Said God.

I started taking Hamid with me to the mosque and we repaired a broken TV and an air-conditioner and our room became livable and my two younger brothers also moved in with us.

Now Hamid was safe from Abid’s continuous humiliations.

Our mom tried but found no girl for Abid. In 1987, Abid found a personal ad of a very beautiful girl named Zohra of Morocco, went to meet her and they got married.

Abid started bragging about his success but Zohra kept asking him for money but not agreeing to move to Saudi Arabia to live with Abid.

I asked Abid to pay her whatever she asked but he refused. After many tries, he gave up, went to Pakistan in August 1991 and hired the services of a lawyer to divorce her.

But she kept asking Abid for money. Abid moved to Pakistan in 1992 and let Hamid handle her requests for money.

Our mom then found a girl for Abid in Pakistan and he got married.

Now one can imagine how hard it was for Abid to get married, trying since 1982 and finally marrying in 1993. And that letter from Pakistani embassy in Morocco was jeopardizing his marriage in 1998.

All my brothers know how effective I am in writing applications.

Hence, by 1998, Abid finally decided to ask me for help. I asked him to show me that divorce letter.

It was a verbose, angry letter with many complaints and no mention of divorce. It just said “if you don’t come, I’ll assume as if nothing was between us”.

“There’s no ‘divorce’ word in this divorce letter,” I observed. That’s why she had continued asking Abid to pay her expenses!

Koran specifically asks men to pay their wives their expenses because women are always up to something good.

I then wrote a simple divorce letter with a polite apology for not being very expressive earlier and asked Abid to sign and send that letter to the Pakistani ambassador in Morocco.

Problem solved.

Zohra had a sick mother and she was in great need of money. That’s why she sacrificed and married Abid, a very repulsive, macho man.

Hamid was not done with me. He had a secret reason for me not to get deported to Pakistan. But now that I had dared to do that, he thought of killing me. It’s easy to kill people in lawless Pakistan.

He came to visit me in March and offered to take me to a tour of Islamabad, Murree and other northern areas and I agreed.

Everywhere, he tried to find someone to kill me and once, he tried to push me off the edge of a dam but the damn taxi driver was watching and that best chance was also lost and only then I realized his wicked plans.

He never again went to northern areas.

After failing to kill me, he tried to get me married to any girl except for the one he was afraid I intended to marry.

He just told all our relatives that I was in Pakistan to study Computer Science and they all started bringing their daughters because they knew I was a feminist and a mother’s servant.

It must have made Abid very jealous to see everyone trying to marry their daughters to me.

But God kept all girls away from me. I told Hamid and others God had promised me a special girl.

Hamid then tried to get me a scholarship in master’s program of CS in UPM but it failed as they gave the scholarship to an Indian applicant because he had secured higher marks in the Vocabulary section of GRE test!

I then found admission in University of Karachi’s Master of Computer Science Program.

After the first semester, Uncle Izhar suggested taking his children to Rawalpindi to visit his older brother, Irshad.

Hamid had been paying monthly handouts to Aunt Qudsia and Uncle Izhar and even Abid to keep me away from Uncle Irshad and his daughter, Saima, but they ended up helping me marry Saima.

Every trick they played to keep me from marrying Saima only made that Promised Marriage take place.