Tuesday, 23 December 2008

No, I didn’t want to come here in the first instance but was forcibly pressed to have lunch here with a friend who was recommended the place by her friend who absolutely swears by the roast duck. I’m beginning to be wary of this ‘swear-by’ business as it quite often falls well below expectations. In any case my review of the Queensway branch simply backed up my avoidance of the Four Seasons duo.

As per usual, a lingering queue protrudes out of the main entrance at lunchtime. Within ten minutes of staring at the impressive display of roast ducks, et al; we were ushered in true Wong Kee’s fashion, “YOU, YOU, UPSTAIRS!” A waitress who seemed to have a Bluetooth earpiece permanently implanted onto her right ear served us. With time being of the essence, Bluetooth woman proceeded to take our orders; so confident was she without even handing over any menus to us in the first place! I went for the Noodle and Prawn Dumpling Soup and the friend ordered the Roast Duck Rice. The second order was immediately imposed with the following;“Bonn-on Bonn-obb?”Friend and I questionably looked up at her and simultaneously uttered “Pardon?”

Two decibels louder and her eyes shot up towards the ceiling, “Tut, Bonn-on Bonn-obb?”Gawd, this thirty seconds situation is already getting hairy and we were by now convinced that we had to answer her ‘riddle’ pronto, it was a matter of life and…

Friend said, “I’m sorry…”

Three decibels louder Bluetooth woman flicked her head backed and shouted “BONN-ON BONN-OBB???”

Then salvation came in a way of voice from behind our table; “she’s asking whether you want the duck on the bone or off the bone?”

What a jolly honour to be offered a choice on how to eat your duck! My noodle dish was pretty much faultless, especially the delicious fat dumplings. Friend’s roast duck was declared brilliant, but whilst she was still chewing on last morsel of the bird, Bluetooth woman dumped the receipt (uncalled for of course) and a plate of orange slices (how kind of the Four Seasons) on our table!

“You pay now and go, people waitin dis table”, she barked.

Friends, check your bills very carefully when coming here or the Queensway branch for that matter. The printed itemised bill hardly ever correlates with the hand-written one, the total can be anything from 12.5% to 25% on top. I so wish the Trading Standards could sort out this disgraceful practice once and for all.

All in, good food abided by poor service and guerrilla tactics surrounding additions to the final bill.