one-after-another
one-after-another
how many one-after-anothers do I have to experience?
can I be strong?
will I be vigilant?
am I the problem?
or are they tests of my faithfulness?
if indeed they are, I might have failed.
or have I?

experience and maturity, you would expect,
should have seen me through this
quite laughably I found myself stagnant
I’m just a toddler, perhaps
I’m still developing, I suppose
I’m ever learning, for Pete’s sake
everyone’s learning all the time

excuses, excuses, excuses
enough of such woeful reasons

time to acknowledge my root
to question my integrity
to check my so-called progress
to measure my superficial success
deep down below
yet obviously shallow
the solution is crystal clear
it’s my choice
turn my back against the guiding tower
pretending losing my windows
or walk the narrow path
where no one dares to trudge
turn the tide
or ride with it

the devil versus the angel
the eternal matchup
could well impact my destiny

It is never easy
making sense of this world,
taking the initial steps,
uttering gibberish,
trusting the anonymous souls,
calling out the first names,
moving on with ease,
recognizing the familiar faces,
socializing a good mix,
loving the blood relations in return,
learning the alphabets,
acquiring different new skills,
manipulating numbers and dollars and sense,
building relationships,
climbing the academy charts,
maintaining bonding and ties,
surviving the rat race within the system,
managing emotions and feelings,
winning against all odds,
facing an early closure to part 1 of the life,
pouring the hearts out to the dearest,
clinging on to what’s left behind,
bidding farewell,
marching onto the next phase.
Never easy.

You came
almost pure
almost innocent
almost without blemish
There you stood
looking naïve
looking young
looking adorable
You learned
always earnest
always teachable
always hungry for more
No one
could halt your steps
could quell your desire
could dampen your spirits

You grew
ever changing
ever distracted
ever influenced
The passion
gradually replaced
gradually sacrificed
gradually dissipated
There you looked
subtly distanced
subtly rebellious
subtly crying out loud
To you, no one
will ever believe in you
will ever appreciate you
will ever understand you

Happy Birthday!
Seventeen years away from this day
You were born again
Ignorant of loss or gain
Lost your way in the labyrinth of ups and downs
Thought you’d live your life with shrugs and frowns

On with the next wave of life
You found the most precious lessons in life
Grew from strength to strength
Confidence and hope abound in great length
Then came the time of trials that tested
Which you passed well and rested

Secular emotions seeped through invitingly
And you believed life would develop excitingly
Like a huge hammer that crushes your bones
Those who loved had fallen like hailstones
Deep, deep wounds that failed to recover
Had left a trail the fiend couldn’t wait to discover

Time had slowly healed the ache
With yet another worldly break
Off you went to start anew
Knowing well that chances could be few
Though the bed seems so full of roses
You can’t help but feel you need his doses

Owing to your progeny’s need
An opportunity arises so timely indeed
Now it’s time for some mind precision
There’s certainly no room for indecision
Rejoice; remember; reflect through the day
Happy Birthday!

Cast your shadow
over the hapless lizard
and cause fear in it.
Cast your shadow
over the studious girl
and cause anger in her.
Cast your shadow
over your beloved’s tombstone
and cause sorrow in you.
Cast your shadow
over the ragged thug
and cause joy in him.

The word ‘trash’ is
often, unfortunately, silently
succumbed to subjectivity.
The vast majority perceives
‘trash’ as things that are
rubbish, useless, nonsense,
utterly woeful, completely junkie.
But it would be wrong to reject
any claim that ‘trash’ can lead to
usefulness, salvation, aid, advantage, benefit.
There’s no absolute truth in
semantics and linguistics.
Both are results of a human brain
that errs too much to be called
full-proof and reliable.
To you, I might be writing ‘trash’,
first definition.
To me, I am writing ‘trash’,
second definition.