By Jenny Gold Photos by Heidi de Marco >>Click here to listen to the NPR interview. It took a lot of convincing for John Evard to go to rehab. Seven days into his stay at the Las Vegas Recovery Center, the nausea and aching muscles of opioid withdrawal were finally beginning to fade. “Any sweats?” […]

There is a song for your life, a sweet melody whispered in the quiet moments of a stare, the shared moments of sunshine, and even the solitary moments of awakening. When in these moments, appreciate the harmony of that which is spiritual and know that all good things exist in the music

Before He took my mother,
He gave me a dream and a sign.
I said, “Dear God, don’t take her,
For she is my mother, she’s mine.

God responded,
“How can you say that? I gave her life.
I even made sure she became a beautiful wife.
I gave her those eyes that people adore.
Now, listen, Robin, because there is more.

When she was in pain, who did she call?
When her rent was due and she didn’t have it all?
Who did she call when she made mistakes and fell?
I gave her my only Son, so she wouldn’t go to hell.

You miss her? Yeah, I know you do,
Bur her purpose here on earth is through.
It is done and don’t worry Robin.
The victory is already won.
She misses her earthly family; I saw it in her tears.
I wiped her eyes; and now, no more fears.
One more thing, that was plain to see.
She does not want to come back
For she is here in Heaven with ME.

Soon, you will see your mother again, one sweet day.
by Robin Brownlee

Einstein’s continuum theory speaks of the illusion of time. He said that, in a nutshell, all that is real is the current moment. The past is gone, the future has not happened and to try to live in either of these places is to defy the gift of the now. How often do we take for granted what is so freely given to us?

Too often, while in active addiction, I lived in yesterdays and tomorrows allowing the todays to pass away. I could never find a balance. I have learned how vital it is today to know the sustenance of livelihood, to feel the cold wind on my face and give thanks that I am alive. And when I feel the wonder of this miracle I cannot know the indifference I knew so strongly in bondage.

Today I feel the moment. I know true friendship, I respect myself, and feel the love of my house mates. Watching us come and go, in different moments, and walks of life is inspiring. Appreciating the cup of coffee with my dearest friend as she embarks on her new journey is the moment. Had I not found such soul sustaining sobriety I would have never appreciated the depth and affections I have for having had the moment with her and all the ladies.

I was an avid reader as a child. It remains true today. There were books that became popular in which the reader was given an opportunity to pick his or her destiny. For example, at the end of a particular chapter the reader was given an option to take a left at a crossroads or a right with small hints of what was to come. One could be either devastated by her decision or pleasantly surprised at the plot twist. There was always a twist.

Life is so much like this. I have found myself at one of those crossroads in the 40th chapter of my life. It is the selection before me to take one opportunity or the next. I know I do not want to go back and tread those journeys that brought me here to begin with. I want to somehow make the decision without regret or second guessing because having read and learned so much of my story already I must trust that my intentions will guide my journey successfully toward an altruistic and beautiful endeavor.

I will be leaving the Guest House soon full of such hope that I sit like an excited 6th grader reading the “destiny” book eagerly awaiting the twists and turns. Such is life, twists, turns, smiles, tears, agony, euphoria, defeat, and victory. I embrace it all readied with my tools and a passion to greet the new year and turn to the next chapter of my life.