The Awakening : Book 01, Chapter 57

1899

People

(1828 - 1910) ~ Father of Christian Anarchism : In 1861, during the second of his European tours, Tolstoy met with Proudhon, with whom he exchanged ideas. Inspired by the encounter, Tolstoy returned to Yasnaya Polyana to found thirteen schools that were the first attempt to implement a practical model of libertarian education. (From : Anarchy Archives.) • "Only by recognizing the land as just such an article of common possession as the sun and air will you be able, without bias and justly, to establish the ownership of land among all men, according to any of the existing projects or according to some new project composed or chosen by you in common." (From : "To the Working People," by Leo Tolstoy, Yasnaya P....) • "It is necessary that men should understand things as they are, should call them by their right names, and should know that an army is an instrument for killing, and that the enrollment and management of an army -- the very things which Kings, Emperors, and Presidents occupy themselves with so self-confidently -- is a preparation for murder." (From : "'Thou Shalt Not Kill'," by Leo Tolstoy, August 8,....) • "...for no social system can be durable or stable, under which the majority does not enjoy equal rights but is kept in a servile position, and is bound by exceptional laws. Only when the laboring majority have the same rights as other citizens, and are freed from shameful disabilities, is a firm order of society possible." (From : "To the Czar and His Assistants," by Leo Tolstoy, ....)

CHAPTER LVII.

One of the most popular superstitions consists in the
belief that every man is endowed with definite qualities—that
some men are kind, some wicked; some wise, some
foolish; some energetic, some apathetic, etc. This is not
true. We may say of a man that he is oftener kind than
wicked; oftener wise than foolish; oftener energetic than
apathetic, and vise versa. But it would not be true to
say of one man that he is always kind or wise, and of another
that he is always wicked or foolish. And yet we
thus divide people. This is erroneous. Men are like
rivers—the water in all of them, and at every point, is
the same, but every one of them is now narrow, now
swift, now wide, now calm, now clear, now cold, now
[Pg 192]muddy, now warm. So it is with men. Every man bears
within him the germs of all human qualities, sometimes
manifesting one quality, sometimes another; and often
does not resemble himself at all, manifesting no change.
With some people these changes are particularly sharp.
And to this class Nekhludoff belonged. These changes
in him had both physical and spiritual causes; and one of
these changes he was now undergoing.

That feeling of solemnity and joy of rejuvenation which
he had experienced after the trial and after his first meeting
with Katiousha had passed away, and, after the last
meeting, fear and even disgust toward her had taken its
place. He was also conscious that his duty was burdensome
to him. He had decided not to leave her, to carry
out his intention of marrying her, if she so desired; but
this was painful and tormenting to him.

On the day following his visit to Maslenikoff he again
went to the prison to see her.

The inspector permitted him to see her; not in the
office, however, nor in the lawyer's room, but in the
women's visiting-room. Notwithstanding his kindheartedness,
the inspector was more reserved than formerly.
Evidently Nekhludoff's conversations with Maslenikoff
had resulted in instructions being given to be
more careful with this visitor.

"You may see her," he said, "only please remember
what I told you as to giving her money. And as to her
transfer to the hospital, about which His Excellency has
written, there is no objection to it, and the physician also
consented. But she herself does not wish it. 'I don't
care to be chambermaid to that scurvy lot,' she said.
That is the kind of people they are, Prince," he added.

Nekhludoff made no answer and asked to be admitted
to her. The inspector sent the warden, and Nekhludoff
followed him into the empty visiting-room.

Maslova was already there, quietly and timidly emerging
from behind the grating. She approached close to
Nekhludoff, and, looking past him, quietly said:

"Forgive me, Dmitri Ivanovich; I have spoken improperly
the other day."

"It is not for me to forgive you——" Nekhludoff began.

"But you must leave me," she added, and in the fearfully
[Pg 193]squinting eyes with which she glanced at him Nekhludoff
again saw a strained and spiteful expression.

"But why should I leave you?"

"So."

"Why so?"

She again looked at him with that spiteful glance, as
it seemed to him.

"Well, then, I will tell you," she said. "You leave
me—I tell you that truly. I cannot. You must drop
that entirely," she said, with quivering lips, and became
silent. "That is true. I would rather hang myself."

Nekhludoff felt that in this answer lurked a hatred
for him, an unforgiven wrong, but also something else—something
good and important. This reiteration of her
refusal in a perfectly calm state destroyed in Nekhludoff's
soul all his doubts, and brought him back to his former
grave, solemn and benign state of mind.

"Katiousha, I repeat what I said," he said, with particular
gravity. "I ask you to marry me. If, however,
you do not wish to, and so long as you do not wish to,
I will be wherever you will be, and follow you wherever
you may be sent."

"That is your business. I will speak no more," she
said, and again her lips quivered.

He was also silent, feeling that he had no strength
to speak.

"I am now going to the country, and from there to St.
Petersburg," he said finally. "I will press your—our
case, and with God's help the sentence will be set aside."

"I don't care if they don't. I deserved it, if not for
that, for something else," she said, and he saw what great
effort she had to make to repress her tears.

"Well, have you seen Menshova?" she asked suddenly,
in order to hide her agitation. "They are innocent, are
they not?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Such a wonderful little woman!" she said.

He related everything he had learned from Menshova,
and asked her if she needed anything. She said she needed
nothing.

They were silent again.

"Well, and as to the hospital," she said suddenly, casting
[Pg 194]on him her squinting glance, "if you wish me to go,
I will go; and I will stop wine drinking, too."

Nekhludoff silently looked in her eyes. They were
smiling.

"That is very good," was all he could say.

"Yes, yes; she is an entirely different person," thought
Nekhludoff, for the first time experiencing, after his former
doubts, the to him entirely new feeling of confidence
in the invincibility of love.

Returning to her ill-smelling cell, Maslova removed her
coat and sat down on her cot, her hands resting on her
knees. In the cell were only the consumptive with her
babe, the old woman, Menshova, and the watch-woman
with her two children. The deacon's daughter had been
removed to the hospital; the others were washing.
The old woman lay on the cot sleeping; the children were
in the corridor, the door to which was open. The consumptive
with the child in her arms and the watch-woman,
who did not cease knitting a stocking with her nimble
fingers, approached Maslova.

"Well, have you seen him?" they asked.

Maslova dangled her feet, which did not reach the floor,
and made no answer.

"What are you whimpering about?" said the watch-woman.
"Above all, keep up your spirits. Oh, Katiousha!
Well?" she said, rapidly moving her fingers.

Maslova made no answer.

"The women went washing. They say that to-day's
alms were larger. Many things have been brought, they
say," said the consumptive.

"Finashka!" shouted the watch-woman. "Where are
you, you little rogue?" She drew out one of the knitting
needles, stuck it into the ball of thread and stocking, and
went out into the corridor.

At this moment the inmates of the cell, with bare feet
in their prison shoes, entered, each bearing a loaf of twisted
bread, some even two. Theodosia immediately approached
Maslova.

"Why, anything wrong?" she asked, lovingly, looking
with her bright, blue eyes at Maslova. "And here is
[Pg 195]something for our tea," and she placed the leaves on the
shelf.

"Well, has he changed his mind about marrying you?"
asked Korableva.

"No, he has not, but I do not wish to," answered Maslova,
"and I told him so."

"What a fool!" said Korableva, in her basso voice.

"What is the good of marrying if they cannot live
together?" asked Theodosia.

"Is not your husband going with you?" answered the
watch-woman.

"We are legally married," said Theodosia. "But why
should he marry her legally if he cannot live with her?"

"What a fool! Why, if he marries her he will make
her rich!"

"He said: 'Wherever you may be, I will be with you,'"
said Maslova.

"He may go if he likes; he needn't if he don't. I will
not ask him. He is now going to St. Petersburg to try to
get me out. All the ministers there are his relatives,"
she continued, "but I don't care for them."

"Sure enough," Korableva suddenly assented, reaching
down into her bag, and evidently thinking of something
else. "What do you say—shall we have some wine?"