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I Said “Blow Job” on a Job Interview and Didn’t Get the Job. Shoot.

You know how sometimes in life you do things so quickly, without thinking, that when the consequences sneak up later you wind up replaying that moment over and over again? This is my moment.

I had a job interview I was really nervous about. Like, sweaty palms and change your outfit three times nervous. Even with the research I had done and updates to my resume and portfolio, I had a pit in my stomach.

You see, I’m really bad at interviews. This weird thing happens when I get even a tiny bit anxious. My entire chest breaks out into hives and then all I can think about is my big ole red chest. My head goes blank. Even when I’ve prepared for days or weeks all I can think about is my interviewer staring at my blotchy skin thinking I’m a freak, and then I turn redder.

But for some reason when I started this interview, it felt right. I felt confident. As the position was explained to me, I felt like I was seriously the perfect candidate for it. I also wore a dress with a crew neck, so little of my skin was revealed and I wasn’t worried about my red chest at all. I felt great and I started to relax and explain my work history, skills and why I should get the job.

And then it happened. I still can’t believe it happened, but it did. I started to explain my work history and somehow “blow job” slipped right out of my mouth. It totally made sense at the time. You know, sex is something I've written about on a daily basis for a while now (yeap, even before Glamour!). But I was explaining my ability to write about fashion, about pop culture, and yes, even blow jobs. The girl interviewing me was young and laughed and got what I was saying to her. Or at least I thought she did. I mean, the rest of the interview went well and I still walked out feeling pretty self-assured!

But I didn’t get the job. They hired from within, they said. I’ll never know if saying “blow job” was the reason or not, but I’ll never 100% believe J when he tells me that that’s not the reason. Sigh.

Okay, so now you know my blow job story. Have you ever totally messed up an interview before? What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? I’m turning red thinking about the words coming out of my mouth now. Sometimes I wish I had a filter!

Photo: Thinkstock

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Melissa MelmsRelationships writer, editor, and full-time N.Y. Rangers fanatic. Loves sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of cohabiting with her soon-to-be hubby (whether he likes it or not).