Just my personal grievances really as I've grown up in Bromley, near Downham and Catford, and I drive through Catford three times every week to get to my harp lessons in New Cross.

Let's just say that you make sure all the doors of your car are locked as you drive round the backstreets of Catford. You never know, might get 'jumped' by one of these 'badboys' with a Swiss Army Knife!

(Original post by Muskateer)
Hey people. I live in a really really socio-economically deprived area (big up catford south east london) where most of my cousins and friends are basically badboys(or as the title suggests - thugs). Now in these areas there is a certain code to live by, one component being this 'rude' or badboy' attitude to girls. I'm not going to lie, i followed suit - and wh...because its true. Girls love the bad in me. I went out with this girl for three months and the first went badly(i was being nice to her) but then I started returning to me and guess what..she liked me more than ever, and didn't want to break up.

(Original post by Muskateer)
And stereotyping is what the English culture has been drumming into people like you. I am by far not a chav I can't think of any black chavs and if i found one i would be worried. But lets not get racial - i was merely commenting on one aspect of relationships so common it could possibly be deemed normal. And plus, what is normal is a normative statement any - no fact which is why i was taken aback by your sweeping remark.

For some bizarre reason the word 'hypocrisy' entered my head at this point.

But he seems to be painting the picture that all boys from there turn out to be some sort of thug. Its usually the immature little boys, who watch too many gangster films, and like to run around with a pen knife

hahah, very true of all south london.. personally i represent elephant, yo.

(Original post by Helenia)
Oh of course they do. Everyone is making ridiculous generalisations here. I wouldn't be stupid enough to touch any of your silly little "bad boys" because they just haven't got a clue what they're doing and wouldn't be worth wasting my time on.

There are plenty of nice men out there. Some of them are taken, some aren't. And some girls go for guys who exaggerrate their masculinity, and some see through it and see how generally immature it is.

(Original post by JadedHippy)
I'm what most people class as a 'nice guy' but I have never really had any trouble in relationships. Not sure what the magic formula is for attraction, as every woman is different. However, one thing that I find is nearly absolute, is that women want their partner to have a bit of backbone. I think this is where a lot of nice guys fall down.

*Jaded

This is true - within the primitive part of female attraction instinct, the female will seek a dominant male, who would be able to protect her, their young and provide for her (speaking in the sense of natural selection), so "bad boys" naturally tend to display these traits. The relationships don't tend to last particularly long, however, but mother nature doesn't care about how long a relationship lasts, only the passing of genes. However, I don't believe you have to be a jerk to attract girls, I know a range of personalities, some loving the bad guy attitude, and some loving the sweet, tender guy, but almost all want a sense of dominance and masculinity within their nature - I think that is what separates a good male friend from an attractive male.

What the dude is saying is right. It has happened to me more than once and have also seen it happen to friends and other people I know. I don't know why, but it seems like girls are attracted to someone with an attitude/arrogance about them. I think most of the thugs/bad-boys have a confident aura about them, and thats what attracts the girls to them. I've been told before that the confidence in my self, and therefore the way I speak, act and etc, is the sexiest thing about me.

Its the ability to balance being confident with a hint of invincibility/greatness and being sweet/nice that I think has been why I've had relationships with girls. Too much confidence = arrogance. Too much niceness = walkover. Its between the two that I've found to attract girls.

Yeah i dont like them either and i dont understand why alot of girls seem to like bad boys.
why would you want a guy who would treat you like ****.
sometimes the whole treat them mean keep them keen thing does work on some people, but i tell you i wouldnt take none of that crap from any boy.
i like the nice, sweet, caring and funny ones.
I already have one so im good

I wish I could quote all the wrongness about catford, but its just too much. Catford is a bad bad area and if you jam there enough and haven't had trouble then you must be a wildcat (catfords resident gang). An I'd say our cat just about kicks the ass of any attraction in new cross (especially the venue)

And in no way shape or form am I a chav so don't even go there. You people raise your nose at us 'grime scene' people and brush us with the same comb. Not correct son.

Some good points, I think the genereal consensus is that girls react to the badboy more favourably...and most other approaches are just wishful thinking.

(Original post by Muskateer)
Hey people. I live in a really really socio-economically deprived area (big up catford south east london) where most of my cousins and friends are basically badboys(or as the title suggests - thugs). Now in these areas there is a certain code to live by, one component being this 'rude' or badboy' attitude to girls. I'm not going to lie, i followed suit - and wh...because its true. Girls love the bad in me. I went out with this girl for three months and the first went badly(i was being nice to her) but then I started returning to me and guess what..she liked me more than ever, and didn't want to break up.

Why is this abnormal thing so natural in all of you girls??

That's because you're a 14-year old chav and hang out with chavs. That's all. You don't know any better.

Your McDonalds logo reminded me of the group of chavs who hang out in front of the McDonalds in my town.

(Original post by Muskateer)
Hey people. I live in a really really socio-economically deprived area (big up catford south east london) where most of my cousins and friends are basically badboys(or as the title suggests - thugs). Now in these areas there is a certain code to live by, one component being this 'rude' or badboy' attitude to girls. I'm not going to lie, i followed suit - and wh...because its true. Girls love the bad in me. I went out with this girl for three months and the first went badly(i was being nice to her) but then I started returning to me and guess what..she liked me more than ever, and didn't want to break up.

Why is this abnormal thing so natural in all of you girls??

trust me on this. its not the being a badboy which girls find attractive. its fact that you act like a real man. this means having confidence in yourself and not bending over backwards to suit her. girls find these dudes boring and could get such attention from any other wussy guy. its a primal instinct that girls go for the alpha male not the beta male you were in the first week.

you dont have to be a badboy to get the ladies. you just gotta have confidence in yourself. im not gonna say just "be yourself" cos that obviously didnt work. but become the alpha male so that IS yourself.

(Original post by Muskateer)
I wish I could quote all the wrongness about catford, but its just too much. Catford is a bad bad area and if you jam there enough and haven't had trouble then you must be a wildcat (catfords resident gang). An I'd say our cat just about kicks the ass of any attraction in new cross (especially the venue)

And in no way shape or form am I a chav so don't even go there. You people raise your nose at us 'grime scene' people and brush us with the same comb. Not correct son.

Some good points, I think the genereal consensus is that girls react to the badboy more favourably...and most other approaches are just wishful thinking.

Never had any trouble, maybe because im a girl? But i went to school in catford and iv lived kind of next to it my whole life!

And wildcat? is that like, an updated version of the "ghetto" guys who used to hang in lewisham when i was about 14.

Okay, Im under the kosh here...im stillgoing to use my 'backbone' and say my piece.

And wildcat? is that like, an updated version of the "ghetto" guys who used to hang in lewisham when i was about 14.

No, you rightly said, 'ghetto' guys are from lewisham...'wildcats' however, are from catford. And I'm not making catford look like anything but catford - my experience of the area is what i described. Of course you think I'm making it worse but you lack the street acumen as you have clearly displayed(see quote above)

But i went to school in catford and iv lived kind of next to it my whole life!

What school? and I bet you live near the bromley part.

Unless you're a) 14 or b) an idiot, its not about fancying someone because they're a 'badboy'. But confident, self assured guys with a bit of a backbone are more attractive.

You shouldn't call people that do this idiots...its just unfair. You could say they are a bit naive in that department but how can you brad someone an 'idiot'. And if your not into the whole catford thing just don't go there, im sure theres many sensitive guys with a backbone in Brighton(im not insinuating any homosexual innuendo!!)