Getting a GP appointment is a lot like buying concert tickets

Today I’m coming to you from my bed. I’ve caught Little B’s ‘non-specific’ virus, which ironically turns out to be quite specific.

I woke up one morning this week with an itchy rash all over my body (the type of rash I have only ever experienced once before, when I was four and my dad filled an old lifeboat with sand to turn it into a sandpit. It turns out it was made of fibreglass and it wasn’t long before my brother and I were covered in red scratchy hives. But that’s another story) and 24 hours later I couldn’t move.

All of my joints seized up: my neck, shoulders, wrists, knees – the slightest movement sent shockwaves of pain ricocheting through my body. I have no idea if Little B felt like this when he was ill last week, because he’s too young to be able to say, but it would explain why all he wanted to do was sit still in my lap without moving.

There was nothing for it but to take to bed (annoyingly too poorly to actually be able to enjoy it) and phone the doctor to see what could be done about it. Because it’s a three week wait for a standard doctor’s appointment – by which time I could well be dead – where we live this involves phoning the surgery first thing in the morning for an ‘emergency’ appointment.

It occurred to me, as I pressed redial for the umpteenth time, that getting a GP appointment is a lot like buying concert tickets – something I was an old hand at back in my Take That days. Me and my friends used to employ all sorts of strategies to make sure we got our hands on the golden tickets before they sold out.

Here are the similarities:

1. First, you’ve got to decide on your strategy: are you going to queue up outside, or phone up? Queuing outside means you’ve got one up over the people on the phones, but what happens if you’re still stuck in the queue when the phone lines open? Think carefully.

2. Nifty finger work is required. As soon as you hear the engaged tone it’s time to hang up and redial. If you’re determined to get an appointment for that day, expect to do this over and over again until you get through (62 times in this case, pictured).

3. Finally getting connected doesn’t mean you’re home and dry – you could find yourself on hold in a queue until an operator becomes available.

4. You’re unlikely to get the slot you hoped for. Initial disappointment at not getting a 10am appointment (= front row) quickly turns to gratitude that you got a 5.20pm appointment (= stalls with restricted view). At least you’re going – there will be some poor souls who aren’t.

5. After putting the phone down, appointment in the bag, you reflect what you’ll do differently next time to ensure a better slot.

The similarities end there though because once you’ve got the appointment it’s a lot like getting tickets to a concert you don’t actually want to go to…

Oh my goodness your illness sounds awful as does the getting a Drs appt, I remember those days well from when we lived in Yorkshire. Now we live in Jersey we can ring up and get an appt for the same day which is amazing but we have to pay for it as no NHS So swings and roundabouts. Hope that you are feeling a little better today. #fridayfrolics

Great post. Hope you are felling better now. Our surgery does a sit and wait emergency system. The theory is great, but trying to entertain a very bored toddler for an hour in a waiting room is not much fun! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

Oh gosh yes appointments are like golddust….they release emergency appointments for the morning at 8am (and they are gone up 8.01am), then release afternoon appointments at midday (gone up 12.01pm)! I tend to have to organise phone calls instead which is never an easy task! #picknmix

This is funny, it does remind me of when I tried to get festival tickets! I’ve been trying (and failing) to make an appointment for my son for two days. I do the 100’s of calls to get through and then get told all the appointments are taken for the day but I can make one for three weeks time. We luckily have a walk in centre near us. I went in and got him seem straight away, turns out he has a non-specific virus also!

Yes, this is true! It can be such a nightmare! My current one isn’t too bad – it has a walk in twice a day so at least you can always be seen, though how long you wait is another issue! But I’ve had some with ridiculous rules. Including that you have to have ’emergencies’ before 10am. If it’s after 10am, they would not discuss emergency appointments with you at all. I always thought they didn’t quite grasp the concept of emergency appointments: please schedule your sudden illness! Sounds like a nasty virus – hope you’re feeling better! #fridayfrolics

haha it’s the same process but usually we get one, especially if it’s my daughter. I also ask for a call back sometimes and that can do the trick or they will ask me to come in if worried. What will be your next strategy??? xx #fartglitter

Our doctors open’s at 8am and often you can’t get through for half an hour, by which time all the appointments have gone. Luckily they now have an online booking system which has been fantastic. Hope you’re feeling better now x #fartglitter

Whenever we’ve tried to get an appointment at my parents’ place near Inverness its been really snappy but I think there is quite a tiny population for the number of GPs. That wait is insane! Makes me very glad for the private health care we have here in Thailand.

this sounds awful. Thankfully here its easy enough to get an appointment. but also not without waiting in the queue until the phone is answered only to be asked “are you ok to hold?” then hold for the longest I waited was 10 minutes…..you gotta earn it!

Oh gosh, that virus sounds horrible. I hope you feel better soon. Getting a doctor’s appointment here is impossible too, if you don’t ring first thing then you’re not going to get one. It always engaged too, I don’t think I’d have the patience to phone 62 times!xx #abitofeverything

Ah I have also had the same issue with getting Take That tickets and I agree that it is a lot like getting concert tickets. That is a ridiculous number of times that you needed to call, unfortunately it is the same at my surgery. I hope you start to feel better soon #fartglitter

Hahaha!!! Too true!!! I watch the time and I start ringing five minutes before their official opening hours, very much like when ringing to buy tickets! You just hope you’re the first one in the moment they’re open. But I just discovered a new service where the GP will come to your place for a home visit! What a life saver! Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

Our surgery has joined together with about 6 others in the area to share a call centre and doctors….. If I don’t get the engaged tone I’m on hold for half an hour til I get through.
It’s absolute crud and with a son who has Type 1 diabetes and who picks up every bug going we spend a lot of time having to go there. Oh and we can’t even ring the surgery to see if a prescription is ready as we can only ring the call centre arghhhhhh!
Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix
Stevie x

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I'm a wife, mother, freelance journalist & blogger. Not necessarily in that order. Join me as I navigate the previously unchartered territory of motherhood always safe in the knowledge there's a bottle of wine in the fridge...

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