May 7, 2007

When To Talk at the Movies

INSPIRED BY TWO CHATTY DUDES behind us last night at an Arclight Cinemas showing of "Spiderman 3," I've assembled this helpful list.

Too tired of using your "theater" voice? Confused about subtle etiquette differences between a living-room TV set and a 500-seat auditorium? Feel like your $14 ticket comes with more rights than my $14 ticket? Need a change of scenery from AMC Universal CityWalk? Then this list is for you.

When To Talk at the Movies (Only for People Sitting Directly Behind Me During Sold-Out Screenings)

During previews of coming attractions

During opening credits

During musical sequences or montages

When you recognize - or think you might recognize - an actor

To offer what you can remember of the actor's filmography

To show how well you can read a particularly interesting word from a subtitle, t-shirt, sign, product or poster

To ask for help reading a word from a subtitle, t-shirt, sign, product or poster