You’re D*mn Right We Need This $20K Beer Pong Table For The COED Office

For table tennis? Perhaps. For beer pong Fridays? YES. Get on it boss. This is possibly more important than all of our salaries combined.

The Stormcourt table from Stiga is handcrafted in Germany, sports a nearly 1.2-inch exterior for “unparalleled evenness,” and lights up when you push a button to three different levels of brightness. Is that worth spending $20,000 for a table that’s guarantees “evenness” and “lights up?” Depends how dedicated you are. Yeah, you can buy a normal one for about 100 bucks probably.

My grandmother’s neighbor has had a ping-pong table at the end of her driveway for 6 months because the trash men refuse to pick it up and they’re too old to realize. I say we pick that bad boy up, adjust the legs until the leveler says we’re good and attach some old Christmas lights around the sides and, BOOM! We’ve got our homemade Stormcourt table for some beer pong.

Ah, screw it. Too much effort. Back to doing what we always do and unscrew the front door and lay it on a couple of chairs. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.