Recommendations for Fathers

Support your fellow fathers. Organizational cultures need to change if men are truly to embrace their role as caregiving fathers. Because male leaders have created workplace cultures and norms, (over 96% of CEOs in the Fortune 1000 are men), men are extremely influential in terms of changing workplaces. Men, whether senior leaders, middle managers, or individual contributors need to create more supportive workplace cultures whether from their influential positions as organizational leaders or through grass-roots efforts. Men should challenge male stereotypes (e.g. only those who work excessive hours are truly committed) that make it difficult for women and men to be effective parents. Demonstrate respect for the work-life decisions of all fathers.

Examine your caregiving goals in light of your career goals. While our research surfaced a clear desire of working fathers to be more involved in the care and raising of their children, it was also clear that the desire to “have it all” is not just a phenomenon that impacts mothers. As our 2011 study clearly demonstrated, while 77% of fathers said they wanted to spend more time with their children, at the same time 3-in-4 wanted a job with greater responsibility and nearly 3-in-5 wanted to attain a role in senior management at their very large companies. While seeking ongoing development and advancement is a perfectly reasonable goal, such an objective may need to be tempered by what’s best for the family and what is practical at any given point in time.

Consider taking more time off after the birth of your children. The experience of fathers in countries that offer generous, extensive paternity leave suggests that those who take a more handson role early in their child’s life will have a higher likelihood of being engaged parents over their child’s lifespan. Women are immersed in caregiving from the moment their children are born. Fathers who take little or no time-off following the birth of a child are likely to feel less competent and be more hands-off with their children. While we recognize that many organizations do not offer paid paternity leave, evidence would suggest that fathers spending time “flying solo” as caregivers will experience significant long-term benefits in their relationships with their children. Men can assist their fellow fathers by taking advantage of, and thereby normalizing, the parental leave that is offered by their organizations.

Be a true caregiving partner to your spouse. Families today are far more complex than traditional family structures. Choices about career and caregiving present major stressors for many dual-career couples, and combined with our professional culture of overwork, often drive parents (predominantly women) out of the workforce. Viewing both breadwinning and caregiving as shared responsibilities of a family unit, and having direct conversations about how those will be achieved, can help both parents develop over the course of their child’s early years. Outdated gender role assumptions often no longer apply. Either spouse can be a primary breadwinner or a primary caregiver, depending on the opportunities and the needs of each specific family. As our 2012 study The New Dad: Right at Home revealed, fathers can be excellent primary caregivers and through doing so can support the career progression and earning potential of their wives.

Our research has convinced us that men are on the threshold of embracing a new definition of fatherhood and stepping up to the challenges and the rewards of parenting in a much fuller sense then was the case in the past. As their female counterparts are encouraged to “lean in” at work, we believe it is time for fathers to “step up” to parenting proudly and without reservation. It’s time to recognize that half of the world’s parents have too long been ignored or silent on the most important issue in their lives, the well-being of their families and their relationships with them.

We believe fathers are poised for a breakthrough, one that brings a greater appreciation of the important role fatherhood plays in their own lives and that of their family members, and that workplaces should make every effort to support this important effort. Now is the time to move forward, to take action to continue this “Work (and Life) in Progress.” The Boston College Center for Work & Family is committed to taking a leadership role in actively promoting a dialogue and helping fathers, families, organizations, and society appreciate and encourage this evolving definition of fatherhood.﻿