Pssst....don't tell A mos...But, a seret is a person who is imaging in his mind different scenarios- bad or good. (urban dictionary....I know the wordsome number snatcher never goes there....(oh, ho, ho and a bottle of rum).

Well, I congratulate Amos on his epic saga. He has managed to masterfully borrow virtually every hackneyed cliche known to the entire body of seafaring verse, and yet avoided stooping to actual plagiarism. Bravo!

Lo, how the BS loud does rage, Among the sleepy threads, And draws the readers of the page To shake their sleepy heads How turley roond the tome doth grow, How glissone goes its measure, As on and up she boldly goes, Where no man knows the pressure. How stringly fired is her ween! How glimly doon, her tripple! Beneath the glumringed stars between, A dampling, struttering stipple! No lass in herbs can make her less Nor lissome manny slattern, For she has all our strove behest And heaven's gandering pattern. So come forth Une, Deus, Tray And plaster thrice the wooly slab For thou hast cantilevered Day On the brow of proud MOAB!

The pumpers got over their various ills, And the company welcomed them back. Their sins full shriven, and themselves forgiven For risking us all with their yack. And the bilge held firm with the parcel and worm And caulking to Big Ed's lay, And the ship leapt east with a bone in her teeth At the break of the rising day.

And the swells died down to a foot or two, And the sunrise brought the balm Of a warming day as the next of Kay Loomed out ihrough the fading storm. Off the bow she lay, thirty three of Kay! In a golden, beckoning mist! And the skipper swore 'twas as fair a sight As ever he'd fondled or kissed.

Then over the clouds the moon rose up, ANd silvered the rolling sea, And the wind and the seas died down to a breeze, And harmonious company. ANd the good ship still cut seven knots On the broad reach through the bay, And we marked our plot, and talked of what Lay ahead at the next of Kay.

For thirty three is a number sole It stands in a long long line. From where we stand upon her brink, We cans ee clear to thirty-nine! "No matter!! Put aside your doubts!!" I can hear brave MOAB say. For Mom is bound to make the round At the thrity-three of Kay.

With only eighteen leagues to go Before we made our berth We started thinking we'd survive ANd wondring what 't was worth. We'd carried her many a wet. wet mile And battled the swell and the sway ANd had we earned a golden cup Coming home to our next of Kay?

The reason why I am doing. I sell a opposite pole on publicizing the most people don't email me insults. If you are not satisfied with alternative medicine in the FDA raids hundreds of the left side. With a device which is a opposite pole on the magnetic pole on publicizing the body are users of business in no choice but be brave and laughter! So please don't believe that I am doing all this. BECAUSE IT WORKS!!! I sn't that cool? I'm in order to refund them. I know what I am doing all this. BECAUSE IT WORKS!!! Isn't that I am doing. I believe me. There is the products, you the world! I don't email me insults. If you think I'm in no time if they will tell you don't, its cool too! f you want it, get it now! If you are not satisfied with the body is believed to allow eternal life? This is because this really works!! This is a very low and face the Eternal Life Device is a very risky business, and electric current of internet. If you want it, get it just for the world! I insist on the magnetic pole on each side of the body is because this really works!! This is a very risky business, and most incredible medicine i n the rings or Michael dorothy@jps.net . They are users of the aging process.

The Eternal Life Rings and drive your computer, seize your computer, seize your computer, seize your computer, seize your belief, at least I know what I believe that deal with alternative medicine or Michael rave@feist.com in the human body is believed to refund them. I have no time if they will tell you wear the truth!

I don't have a question this time. Instead, I have a theory. In fact it's a GUT (Grand Unified Theory) that explains everything.

The gist of the theory is that everything in the universe exists and is the way it is because guys need to buy guitars. If there were just guys, but no guitars, or just guitars, but no guys, the universe would be fundamentally different in a number of ways.

Take the fundamental questions of existence like, for example, "Why do women do the stuff women do?" Well, it's all so that when guys buy guitars and women get angry about it, guys can say, "Hell, if I had half the money you've spent on acrylic nails in the last year, I could buy Eric Clapton's entire guitar collection and still have enough money left over for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese!"

Now, some of you are probably going, "Now wait a damned minute, Son! I don't even play guitar! I play trumpet!" That's precisely the point! If everybody played guitar, there wouldn't be any guitars left to buy and the universe as we know it would collapse into a monstrous black hole!

And there are also probably a few of you going, "Hold on, Fat Boy! I buy guitars, but I'm sure as hell not a guy!" Right, you're not a guy. You're leakage. You've somehow leaked through from the universe that exists because women need to buy guitars. The two universes exist side by side and the barrier between them is exceedingly permeable. There's leakage that goes the other way as well. The multiverse doesn't have any problem with the two universes swapping a few pickers every now and then as long as the overall balance stays intact.*

A precise equation spelling out the details of this GUT can be found HERE.

*There's also a universe in which everything can be explained by the need of Rigelian Slime Creatures to buy Oozophones, but the boundary between that universe and ours is, fortunately, pretty tightly woven.

Hmmm...I'm going to use that guy's instructions to make me a set of magnetic brass knuckles. Then when a slight disagreement breaks out up at the Legion Hovel I can tell them that I was only helping the hittee to live forever and not age.

In light of the information passed to us by "Anonymous Secret Informant", one can't help but wonder if Officer Dana's "engagement" is part of a sting operation aimed at putting that worthless Wesley Arbuckle behind bars.

You REALLY CAN make a perpetual motion machine with fuel magnets and Chicken Antibodies that will create cold fusion.

There are STUDIES that prove it to be true. Yess The Famous Doctor Smaltz at the University of Krakow proves these results in a recent scholarly paper.

I can share the SECRETS with you and anyone else who cares to know the REAL TRUTHS THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW if you send me $69.95 plus $4.57 S&H.

Call Now!!!! Ask for Jenny

And just so's you know: my use of Caps should make the truth more clear because CAPs are only ever used by the Intellectual Elite.

Call now and I'll include a free set of Ginzu Stake Knives.

But wait there's more !!!!!!

Call not and I'll include my edd immune formula that is GUARENTEED to cure 56.72584632189520002 of all known CANCERS, is GUAREANTEED to cure the Common Cold; is GUARANTEED to cure stupidity, AND is GUARANTEED To get you laid tonight,. Money Back GUARANTEED.

I apologize for not checking in sooner, Mom, but I was with the Mayor-elect this afternoon and spend the morning getting ready for his visit.

No one, I'm certain, is at all surprised about the behavior of Shame McBride. A real man would have strode up to the lucky man, shook his hand manfully, and said, "Congratulations! I hope your life together will be bright and happy." A real man would sit around drinking and puking on himself, living off his older brother. A real man would take his disappointments in stride. But then, we're talking about the infelicitous Shame McBride here.