Monday, March 5, 2012

small acts of kindness

Or not so small...depending on the person on the receiving end.

I went to a scentsy party on Saturday night. Pat watched Liv and brought her to see the Lorax in 3D. I was home by 10 and asleep by 10:30. Pat and I usually switch "sleep-in" days on the weekend. Sunday was my day, but Liv has a tendency to demand I get out of bed and I usually give in. Not this Sunday though. Pat coaxed her out of bed and I woke up at 9am to a very quiet house....eerily quiet. I just kept lying in bed listening to see if I could hear my family, then I crept out to find nobody. The apartment was empty. I called Pat and he said he took Liv to work with him and they were going to our friend's farm after. It was so relaxing, and while they were gone longer than I would have liked :), I was so thankful.

I don't know if it's my marriage, or everyone's marriage, but sometimes It feels like we live according to a system of tallies.

You did this - check!
Well I did this - check!
Well I did this last week - check!
You haven't done that since then - check!
I cleaned up that disgusting mess - check! check!

My point is, It's easy to get caught up in the "he did/she did" and I wasn't expecting Pat to do that. It made me feel appreciated and made me want to do the same for him. It was so refreshing to feel that way and I am currently swallowing my pride for not being the person to initiate it (I can't change overnight), but that was certainly the budge I needed to put a little more "just because" back into our relationship.

Ooooh, yes. I hate it when we argue like that, but we do. It shouldn't be about keeping score. But here is a question for you...Do you think your husband would have even noticed if you HAD been the one to do it first? I question whether mine would :/ He probably would have noticed if I mowed the lawn or something I NEVER do, but as for childcare stuff, I do most of it most of the time anyway so I don't think he would see it as doing something to help him out, you know? But I sure would appreciate him taking the kids out for a whole morning...sounds dreamy!

I agree completely actually. I think that you made a good point. I do a majority of the childcare because I am not working right now and what is "expected" of me. So you are right, he probably wouldn't have been as grateful as me....I will have to think of something else to do. I'm making spaghetti and meatballs tonight, does that count? :)