Wednesday, October 10, 2007

eyes on me

now listening to: faye wong - eyes on me whenever I am half sober and half down...trying to indulge in the smokiness and temporariness again. this song just suit the thoughts so well...whenever sang my song, on the stage, on my own. Just as I write these words, as lightly as a song, in an empty stage with those distanced lights as my audience and all alone again. while her story goes back into time, a brief acquaintanceship, haven't us been as brief...every post seems to be the last.tracing steps in the mist of blurry time.And so you were, and you still are, just as distanced and just as close, as though we had reached an understanding and a safe distance that it seemed to be a stop. perhaps a slow pace. so slow that it is negligible of even the evidence is non-existent. Both just as numb of time and circumstances. Though seeking..probably something similar but our paths would not cross and the pavement in front just as brief, as we were, we are, and we are to be. such casualness that I mistaken it as my fantasy.Perhaps it was...his shadow so light against the faded walls and his voice ringing soft. no matter the distance. every bit had been and would stay a fantasy. so unsure. just as my knowledge of him is too abstract to be the evidence of his existent. thus...assuming myself a dreamer. perhaps a Bedlam creature.whenever sang my songs. on the stage, on my own. whenever said my words. wishing they would be heard. I saw you smiling at me. was it real or just my fantasy. you'd always be there in the corner. of this tiny little bar. my last night here for you. same old songs, just once more. my last night here with you? maybe yes, maybe no. I kind of liked it your way. how you shyly placed your eyes on me...Oh, did you ever know? that I had mine on you....

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"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." Elizabeth Kubler-Ross