"So they left the Lakes and began the long journey to Matadi and marriage. Whether or not they lived happily ever after is not easily decided."-- The African Queen, C.S. Forester, 1935

Forester's novel takes place during the First World War in German-held territory now known as Tanzania. It became a memorable Oscar-winning movie starring Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn in 1952.

In glorious and suspenseful fiction, reprobate steamboat skipper Charlie Allnutt and the prim sister of a deceased missionary navigate the Ulanga River to Lake Wittelsbach in a courageous effort to sink a German battleship.

En route they face the guns of a local fort, treacherous currents, raging rapids, voracious insects, unfriendly hippopotami, leeches, malaria, near impenetrable vegetation, and a host of mechanical problems.

We fervently hope the African Queen cruise we've booked on the Zambezi River in Zambia bears no resemblance to the novel.

- - -

With a few days to spare after touring Southern Africa, we've booked a quick excursion to experience one of the seven natural wonders of the world. Victoria Falls is known locally as Mosi-O-Tunya, "the smoke that thunders."

But we experience a little thundering smoke of our own when, on arrival at Livingstone airport, we're faced with a newly imposed entry fee of $55 US.

We knew about the fee but had been told Zambian immigration would likely accept a credit card or South African rand in cash, so weren't worried. Not so -- this deal is U.S. cash only.

We carry little of that currency on this trip, so park our passports with immigration and head to the airport bank where a female police officer carrying an AK47 watches carefully as we exchange Rand for U.S. dollars.

Thankfully, this is the only gun we see in Zambia!

Our tour package includes return air fare from Johannesburg and three nights' accommodation at the three-star Zambezi Sun Resort, including a generous all-you-can-eat "full English" buffet breakfast.

The minibus ride to the hotel passes through the town of Livingstone, named after 19th-century British doctor, missionary and explorer Dr. David Livingstone, who was revered for his work helping local people conquer diseases endemic to the area. He was also the first European to view the breathtaking spectacle of Mosi-O-Tunya, which he named Victoria Falls after the reigning British monarch.

Shops and houses with corrugated-iron roofs and wide verandahs remain stuck in their British colonial days when Zambia was Northern Rhodesia.

A large statue in Mosi-O-Tunya National Park and a museum in the town celebrate Livingstone's memory. The museum contains items from the area's prehistory, as well as photographs, musical instruments and memorabilia belonging to Livingstone himself. Well worth a wander.

The Zambezi Sun Resort is a circle of two-storey buildings bordering the 66-square-kilometre national park. We can hear the boom of the falls from our room, which is brightly decorated in African motifs. Zebras and monkeys roam the grounds and guests are warned to close windows and doors to prevent monkey mischief.

A paved trail takes us to the falls, smoking and thundering in this year of high rainfall. From several fine viewpoints we note islets cling to the brink as raging waters swirl around them. Guidebooks tell us that during the dry season brave people bathe safely in pools at the falls' upper edge.

Next morning, we ask the hotel for rain gear (not wanting to get really, really wet) to cross a footbridge through a falls-induced deluge. From here, one can see the railway bridge commissioned by imperialist mining magnate Cecil Rhodes in 1900 to provide a link to the sea from Zambia's copper mines.

Rhodes ordered that the railway cross the Zambezi just below the cataract. "I should like to have the spray of the falls over the carriages," he said.

Rhodes died in 1902 before the bridge was finished.

We're among the increasing number of tourists preferring to visit the falls from the Zambian side. One tourism official is heard to say, "Mugabe may be the best thing to happen to Zambia for a long time."

The Zimbabwe side of the river offers a better view of the entire kilometre-long falls, but an entry visa costs $75 U.S. and we're concerned about President Robert Mugabe's violent rule, so decide not to cross.

At the hotel restaurant, we're surprised to find staff knows about Canada. Apparently Zambia has hosted Canadian teachers who have taught its students about our geography. "Not the politics," adds a waiter, "just the geography."

The activity centre offers brochures advertising micro-light and helicopter flights over the falls, white-water rafting, elephant-back safaris, and a variety of heart-stopping activities, such as leaping off bridges and cliffs (attached to bungee cords, we trust).

Not being into "heart-stopping," we check out bird-watching, then opt for the evening cruise on the African Queen -- perhaps we can play Bogey and Katharine?

A mini-bus picks up passengers from local hotels and hostels, then drops us at the jetty where we're welcomed by a couple of marimba players as we cross the gangplank onto our vessel.

Launched in 2005, the African Queen offers several cruises a day. A sister vessel, the African Princess, takes overflow passengers.

This boat is a far cry from that of skipper Charlie Allnutt. In the novel, his is a broken-down steam launch that is "squat, flat-bottomed, and 30 feet long. Her paint was peeling off her, and she reeked of decay."

Our Queen is a triple-deck 70-foot catamaran, finished in Rhodesian teak and beechwood, with polished brass fittings. Comfortable wicker chairs set among potted palms, cold drinks and hot hors d'oeuvres served by white-jacketed crew await. Bogey and Kate never had it so good!

We munch snacks, sip great South African red and motor slowly upriver for about an hour, chatting with fellow passengers who are mainly British, German and Scandinavian.

We scan the riverbank for the promised glimpses of wild nature but micro-lights, a Land Rover on safari, and a school bus are all the "wildlife" we spot.

From the vantage point of moneyed leisure, we can only imagine the grunge, grunt and fearsome challenge of Forester's ancient wood-fired tramp steamer.

But wait! About a kilometre ahead, a more modest vessel plies the river. Smoke billows from its single stack and what must be a roaring wood-fired braai (barbecue) is going on deck. Could this be the ghost of the novel's African Queen?

As our African Queen turns back to her berth, a faraway thunderstorm makes the sunset even more spectacular.

And so, with a respectful nod to Forester and a farewell to Bogey and Katharine, we leave the Zambezi and begin the long journey home to Canada and daily life. Whether or not we live happily ever after "is not easily decided" -- at least until our next travels.

TRAVEL TIPS:

- Zambia's three basic seasons are: cool and dry from May to August, hot and dry from September to November, warm and wet from December to April. In early April, the weather was comfortably warm with a little rain.

- The U.S. dollar is used at most resorts, but the Zambian kwacha (ZMK) is the official currency.

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