What This Country Needs

A Presidential contender who has once in his life done something that is truly worthwhile, notable, patriotic, or unselfish.

Fewer people who know what is best for other people. (This may require giving the Deep North back to Canada.)

A Presidential candidate who is actually a literate, mature, and wise human being. Someone who could, say, carry on a conversation with Thomas Jefferson (of course, necessarily as a humble learner). I'm no utopian. I'll settle for one who could carry on a conversation with Harry Truman and not be revealed as a ninny in five minutes.

Fewer bureaucrat generals and more soldier generals.

Fewer internet columnists.

Fewer people who think everybody else is eager to download and read every internet column that they happen to like.

More control and punishment of organised crime—the Mafia, Congress, federal judges, the Colombians, utilities companies, etc.

Fewer bastards (of both kinds)

Less porcine politicians. (They have already spent as much of our wealth as they could get away with in order to keep their own snouts in the trough. In fact, they have already spent all your children's wealth, and all your grandchildren's wealth and—).

More policemen who are "peace officers" here "to protect and serve" and fewer who think their mission is to intimidate people and boss them around.