Thursday, April 07, 2005

Does your podiatrist know your walking around in those?

Why do people think that flip flops are acceptable forms of footwear in the city of New York?

The first signs of spring weather and people pull out the flip flops. Do you see the muck in the streets? Do you see the decomposing dog poop on the street? Flip flops should not be worn in the city streets.

Furthermore, flip flops of any kind (Birkenstocks, platforms, $5.00 chinatown bin with tassels) should not be worn in the office place.

I’m standing by the office cooler, filling up my cup with hot water, when I spy with my little eye, the International payments coordinator sitting at her workspace. She’s staring intently at her screen. Her black flats are dangling off her bare foot. Ok. I’m guilty of kicking my shoes off every now and then but I do it under my desk. I’m not dangling my calloused heel for the world to see. Two hours later, I’m at my office minding my business when she walks by my door to talk to the assistant. She’ standing there with her back to my door with orange foam flip flops! Foam flip flops do not make office attire. Firstly, she really needs to paint her toenails. Secondly, orange foam flip flops do not make office attire.

I’m all for comfort. Sure, I wear ungodly high heels. Blessed with height, I was not. Teetering on 4” stilettos, levels the playing field. Yes, I’m slightly obsessed with shoes but that doesn’t stop me from wearing sneaks home. Two long walks home during 9.11 and last year’s blackout have taught me that feet are not meant to be stuck in pointy shoes for over 12 hours. Flip flops are not comfort. In fact, I’ve found them to offer no support and cause more discomfort than some of my cushioned heels.

Your foot should have some type of protection from the goo that bubbles up on subway platforms. Once, my husband was on an elevator with a Victoria Secret model. I want to say Stephanie Seymour but I’m probably wrong. She is brunette, that’s all I remember. You would think I’d be jealous my husband was confined in a tight quarter next to this lanky two-dimensional ‘super-goddess’. However, the only thing my husband could think of is how her pinky toe was dangerously dangling out of her flip flops. He was hypnotized by the toe.Just to clear the air, my husband does not have a foot fetish, folks. Granted, she probably doesn’t take to the mean streets like us NY’ers. Her feet aren’t hoofing cross town dodging people traffic and street vendors. If she spends most of her time in an air-conditioned chauffeured car, she should be able to keep a pair of comfy flats in her bag.

If you disagree with me, try walking cross 59th Street with flip flops on. When the wind blows and that horse manure filled hay flies between your toes, come back to me and tell me that flip flops are the wisest choice.At this point, I do have to confess I have at least 15 pairs of strappy sandals and yes, I do wear them to work in the summer. Yes, I have taken the train with said sandals on my feet. Yes, Lrudlrick finds this repulsive. The difference, although slight, is the 4 inch heel keeps at least 60% of my foot safely elevated from the ground and my toes don’t dangle out of them. Again, I know this is a flimsy reason but I really look cute in my tan strappy Weitzman’s with matching handbag.