She Says We’re Just Friends. How to Change Her Mind

Dan Bacon
Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert and the author of The Flow, an eBook that teaches you the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend. Dan has been helping new men succeed with women for more than 14 years.

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If a woman says that you’re just friends, it means that she doesn’t feel enough attraction for you to justify having a sexual relationship.

For example: A woman will often say that to a guy who has been really friendly and nice to her, but hasn’t done anything to make her feel sexually turned on.

There’s nothing wrong with being friendly and nice to women, but if you are only making her feel friendly emotions, then it’s not going to make her want anything other than a friendship.

Watch this video to understand why that happens and what you need to do instead to make her want to have a sexual relationship with you…

As you will discover from the video above, there is a clear difference between a woman liking a guy as a nice friend and liking a guy in a sexual way.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys lack the confidence to make their intentions with a woman clear, so they start off by pretending to be a good friend in the hopes that, over time, she’ll suddenly realize what a sweet, wonderful guy he is and then she’ll want to have sex with him and be his girlfriend.

That’s how it works in Hollywood movies, but it rarely happens that way in real life.

In real life, a guy can approach and talk to a woman and make her feel sexually turned on within seconds to a minute. He can then build on her attraction for him and she will become sexually interested in him, even though he hasn’t spent anytime trying to get to know her as a friend.

A guy like that essentially takes the shortcut to a sexual relationship with a woman, which is something that you can do with this friend of yours if you are willing to start making her feel attracted to you.

Watch this video to understand how it works…

As you will discover from the video above, you are in control over how much or little attraction you make this friend of yours feel.

From now on, this woman that you like will begin feeling sexually attracted to you because you are actively triggering those feelings in her, or she will remain “switched off” if only continue being a sweet, innocent, polite friend around her.

Starting Off as Friends

It sounds like a good idea to start off getting to know a woman as a friend, before you finally reveal your “feelings” to her, but it’s not.

Why?

Being friendly doesn’t make a woman feel lust and desire to have sex and if a guy wastes time acting like he wants to be her friend, another guy can simply come along, make her feel attracted and proceed to a kiss, then sex and begin a relationship.

The friendly guy is then left behind and despite all the weeks or months of effort that he put into “getting to know her,” she turns her back on him in an instant because of her sexual desire for another guy.

Sexual desire is the most important thing to begin with, followed by a connection or “friendship.”

However, starting out as friends is almost always a horrible idea that has a high chance of ending up in a rejection.

Guys who don’t know how to attract women hope that she will develop feelings for him over time. Then, somewhere down the line, he hints at wanting her in a sexual way and she says, “We’re just friends,” because nothing about his behavior has ever made her feel anything other than feelings of friendship.

The truth is, most women are pretty nice and don’t really want to hurt a guy’s feelings, especially when she considers that guy to be her friend.

So, instead of telling him directly that she’s just not sexually attracted to him, she says, “Were just friends,” in the hopes of letting him down easy.

Almost all women don’t ever want to be put in a position where they have to teach a guy how to attract them. For example: She’s not going to say, “Hey, you’re only being nice to me. You have to be more confident, put me in my place when I’m being bitchy or demanding too much of you, flirt with me, touch me and get me trying to impress you.”

Instead, she will just accept that the guy doesn’t know how to attract women and hook up with a guy who does. If she had to take on the role of teaching a clueless guy, the relationship would be more like a teacher>student or big sister>little brother relationship, which would destroy her feelings of respect and attraction for him.

The type of relationship that a woman wants is a girl>guy or woman>man, relationship. She wants to be able to look up to and respect her man, rather than feel as though she has teach him how to be a man.

When You Make Her Feel Sexually Attracted, She Will Look at You Differently

If the woman you like has dropped a bomb on you by saying that she only sees you as her friend, you might be feeling discouraged and even hopeless right now.

You may even be thinking, “Well, if she says we’re just friends, there’s probably no way to make her change how she feels about me.”

Yet, there is.

You really can make her change her mind and see you as the guy that she wants to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with.

Although her feelings for you may be purely platonic right now, when you make her feel sexual attraction for you, she will naturally start seeing you in a different light.

She will smile and look at you differently. Something about you will changed and she will be liking it. She won’t be able to keep her eyes off of you. Why? You will have triggered her sexual desire, which is the most important thing that you need to do if you want a woman to want more than just a friendship with you.

Human feelings are not set in stone forever.

Feelings can change.

Throughout your life, your feelings for certain people have changed all the time, true?

For example: There might have been a person at work or university who really annoyed you, but over time their attitude and behavior changed and so did your feelings towards them.

Perhaps you met someone at a party and didn’t seem to like them, but once you encountered them in a different setting where their behavior was different (e.g. at work, at a friend’s place), you discovered that you actually did like them.

The same applies to this woman that you like.

Although, right now, your behavior and attitude towards her makes her see you as “just a friend,” when you change your approach and begin to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you, she will naturally stop seeing you as her friend and start seeing you as the guy wants to be with.

However, that’s not going to happen if you keep making the same mistakes you’ve been making up to this point…

3 Common Mistakes Guys Make That Keep Them in the “Friend Zone” With Women

By the time a guy like this makes his move on the woman he likes, he has already been making these classic mistakes.

1. Being a super helpful friend.

It’s only natural that when you want to be a good friend to someone, you will try hard to make yourself available to them whenever they need you. If a friend needs your help, you will be there for them and it’s a very honorable and admirable thing to do.

Yet, it isn’t a good strategy to use when you’re attempting to make a woman your girlfriend…especially if you’re not saying or doing anything to spark her feelings of sexual desire for you.

A guy who becomes a woman’s Happy Little Helper will be secretly hoping that if he helps her enough (e.g. helping her with a difficult talk or project, running errands for her, chatting for hours on the phone with her, etc) the more likely she is going to feel that she can’t be without him in her life.

He hopes that she will feel as though, without him, her life would be a mess, so she simply HAS TO get into a relationship with him.

Sadly, that’s not what she’s going to be thinking.

Instead, she’s going to be thinking, “What a sweet guy. I’m so glad he’s my friend. Hmmm… I think I’ll give him a call and ask him which dress he thinks I look best in for my date with that sexy, guy I met last night.”

When a guy is available 24/7 for a woman, it can suggest to her that he has nothing else going on in his life other than being there for her.

Although that might be flattering to a girl because it makes her feel good about herself, it’s not exactly going to make her feel sexually attracted to him. Why?

A woman wants to know that the man she gives herself to (sexually and emotionally) can easily attract other women, but has chosen her instead.

That’s exciting for her.

Women refer to guys like that as being a “challenge” to win over and here is why they prefer guys like that over guys who are eager to be a Happy Little Helper Boy who hopefully gets a chance with her…

As you will discover from the video above, the woman you like is probably sick and tired of how easy 95% of guys are to attract.

She doesn’t want to reward a guy with sex, love and devotion just because he is being nice and friendly towards her. Pretty much EVERY clueless guy she meets does that to her.

When you can stop using the fake friend approach with her and instead be real and start creating a sexual vibe with her, she will then respect your authenticity and feel attracted to your ability to turn her on.

Women instinctively know that Happy Little Helper boys are great to keep around as a friend, but will most-likely end up becoming too clingy or needy in a relationship.

Why? Guys like that have no idea how to attract women. They go through like kissing up to women and trying to be “liked” for being such a nice, friendly, supportive, generous guy.

Yet, that is not what turns women on.

So, when a guy like that finally gets lucky and manages to get a girlfriend, he will struggle to remain confident when she tests him later on in a relationship.

How will she test him?

Almost all women test a guy’s confidence in a relationship (e.g. by being less affectionate, not replying to his texts as quick as she used to, cancelling on dates, talking about other guys who like her, etc) to see how he will react.

If he becomes insecure, clingy and angry at her, she knows that she has gotten herself mixed up with an emotionally weak man who needs her for his emotional security and sense of identity.

However, if he remains confident and simply continues on with the relationship as per normal, her respect and attraction for him will deepen.

Here’s the thing…

Women won’t go around telling guys exactly why they are rejecting them though. Instead, she will say things like, “We’re just friends” or “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” and hope that he gets the hint.

She’s not going to waste her time trying to teach a guy the complexities of how to be an emotionally strong man for her. Instead, she will simply wait to meet a more confident, capable guy and hook up with him instead.

2. Behaving like “one of the girls” around her.

If a guy behaves like “one of the girls” with the woman he likes (e.g. by gossiping with her and talking about “girly” things like clothes, shoes or dating, being her shoulder to cry on when a guy dumps her, saying “OMG!” like a girl would, giggling like a girl, etc) he then shouldn’t be surprised when she treats him like “one of the girls.”

In other words, it shouldn’t be a shock to him when she says that they are just friends because he is just acting like one her girlfriends would. He’s not saying or doing anything to turn her on and make her feel sexually attracted to him.

Instinctively, a woman knows that a real man wouldn’t waste his time gossiping like girls do because he’s going to focused on rising through the levels of life and pursuing his biggest dreams, goals and ambitions in life.

A real man also isn’t going to want to gossip like girls do because he will think, feel, behave and act like a masculine man. He will know that women are naturally attracted to the masculinity of men, so he won’t make the mistake of acting like a girl to hopefully fit in with her and her friends.

There’s nothing wrong with a guy talking on the phone to a woman he likes, but he shouldn’t make the mistake of behaving like another one of her girlfriends by gossiping about people or discussion guys who are interested in her.

3. Being too much of a nice guy.

There’s nothing wrong with being a good guy around women. In fact, I recommend it.

However, where guys mess up is in thinking that being really nice to a woman all the time will be enough to trigger her feelings of love and attraction for him.

For example: He might be very polite around her, never flirt or use humor to create attraction between him and her and essentially treat her like an innocent woman who would never have sex before marriage.

In his mind, he is showing her that he is a nice guy, he respects her and he has good intentions with her. He believes that if he puts on that show for long enough, she will wake up to the fact that she’s actually madly in love with him.

Before falling asleep at night, he will get excited as he imagines having sex with her and will be hoping that if he can just show her how nice of a guy he is, she will eventually realize that he is the guy for her.

She will say, “Wow! Why have I been dating all these jerks and assholes? The perfect guy has been in front of me all along. I’m so stupid!”

Yeah, go and watch a Hollywood movie if you want to see reality play out like that.

In the real world, women hook up with guys who make them feel sexually attracted and turned on. If the guy also happens to be a really good guy, then that is seen as a bonus to her.

However, as you would have seen, most women will hook up with guys who don’t even treat them well, simply because the guy is making her feel sexually attracted and turned on.

For example: He is being confident, flirting with her, making her feel girly in response to his masculinity, etc.

The woman would prefer to have a good guy who could make her feel attracted in those ways, but such guys are almost always taken by other women.

So, she has to settle for the remaining types of guys who might not be good guys, but at least make her feel attracted and turned on.

Here’s the thing…

If you’re too nice to a woman and don’t say or do anything to turn her on sexually, she might consider you as “friend” material, but she’s not going to consider you to be boyfriend material.

There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but if you’re saying or doing anything to make her feel sexually attracted to you, then you can’t expect her to have those types of feelings for you.

Making Her See You as More Than “Just a Friend”

To make her want you as a lover boyfriend, you need to show her, through your behavior and actions, that you do have the sexually attractive qualities she’s looking for in a man.

For example: Women are instinctively attracted to men who are masculine, confident and who know how to make them feel like a real woman.

Most women wait for a guy to trigger their feelings of attraction and if he is unable to do that, she simply categorizes him as a friend and then remains open to meeting a guy who can make her feel attracted and turned on.

Up until now, you’ve been making this woman see you as a friend, but you can change that.

By changing your behavior towards her and actively triggering her feelings of sexual attraction for you, you can turn her feelings of friendship for you into feelings of sexual desire.

Then she will be the one chasing you and hoping to get a chance with you.

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Author: Dan Bacon

Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert. He knows the secret to attracting and picking up women for sex and relationships, which has allowed him to enjoy his choice of women for many years. Watch this free training and he will share the secret with you.