This is a journal created by a woman for women. However, if you are a man in tune with your feminine side (or trying to get there), feel free to read on. It's mainly the stuff we talk about but that noone ever wrote down. It's all the stuff in all those self help books that we read, all the stuff that should be said but aren't. This is just a venting spiel, about the idiosyncrasies of dating and how to make it better.

About Me

Name::Vixen

From::Portland, Oregon, United States

I'm 29 year old, fabulous and feisty female from Nigeria, who has found love, fun and happiness in life and has a plan of getting dozens of stamps on her passport.
Welcome to my blog. Feel free to read archived posts...they are pretty interesting as well. I would also appreciate any comments you may have in whatever arena. The more the merrier!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
This means that you cannot reproduce, print, publish or use any portion of this blog without express permission and consent from the author. In other words, don't steal my shit!

Bean Counters

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Booty Call Extras

Definition: A booty call extra is your run of the mill booty call, but who also happens to bring more into the equation than just sex.

Even though it's hard to believe, there are some FWB/FWF relationships that aren't just built around sex. I received a question about this a few weeks ago finally got around to it:)

"I have a booty call that we spend alot of time together as well. We do more than just 'screw around like jackrabbits'. We have fun, spend time together, go out and hang out with other friends. I would like your readers to know that there are other types of relationships besides the ones that you point out."

There are booty call relationships that constitute of a whole lot more besides sex. These are friends/lovers who actually go out to the movies, go barhopping, attend sports events or just chill whether or not they are having sex at the moment. It's almost like a bonafide relationship without all the strings that having a standard boyfriend/girlfriend situation would entail.

After all, you spend time together so you don't have to stay home alone on Saturday night. Neither of you have to worry about dating unless you want to, and you have a person of the opposite sex to laugh at your awful dates. This relationship leaves little room for jealousy because he can always say, "I thought we were just FWBs?" Neither of you have to contend with cheating or anything of that sort; it's no strings attached fun, what could be wrong there?

It is possible to maintain the casual aspect, chemistry and friendship without getting too close. It's possible--but not easy, and definitely full of major pitfalls. For starters, it's a classic set-up for unrequited love. Someone (most probably the lady) starts to catch feelings for the other (the guy) and wants something more concrete. But you know that he's going to avoid a bonafide relationship at all costs. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? So guess who ends up with a broken heart? Yes honey...you do.

Now, if you feel that you are able to finagle the tumultuous waters of this type of relationship, then by all means, have at it. Just don't say you haven't been warned.