Paxo, in typically bullish style, said he was thinking of keeping his beard because many at the BBC are pogonophobic – no, not what you’re thinking, it just means to have a fear of beards.

I’m expecting its etymology to be a question on University Challenge next Monday night.

The hirsute brain box said: “I have grown a beard for the last few summers, and suddenly wondered whether I really needed to shave it off to present Newsnight.

“Unless you’re lucky enough to be Uncle Albert on Only Fools And Horses, Demis Roussos or Abu Hamza, the BBC is generally as pogonophobic as the late-lamented Albanian dictator, Enver Hoxha.

“I may keep it or I may shave it off, but I think I’ll make my own decision.”

I hope it remains because there’s no man alive whose sexiness can’t be improved with a beard.

Two words for you: David Mitchell.

That said, you can keep your halfway houses, the jutty little bits of nonsense beloved by arty types. You know what I’m talking about right?

The “just got up for the Sunday papers and latte to go” whiskers which are usually paired with a polo neck and slip-on “leisure” shoes; the 24/7 5-o’clock shadow; glum goatees à la Kanye West’s circle of gloom; the “Yep, I’m deliberately taking my lunch with me today” mass; The Apprentice-style grooming aimed at portraying seriousness on young and inexperienced faces; and, worst of all, that visual monstrosity called the moustache.