Our 50 favorite film fools

Film fools

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50. Ron Burgundy, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

Will Ferrell’s parody of ripe ’70s machismo isn’t quite the biggest idiot in this hilarious comedy (brace yourself for No. 26). But the manly TV-news anchor set the template for Ferrell’s signature blustery buffoonery; and anyone who declares with utmost certainty that San Diego is a German phrase meaning “a whale’s vagina” deserves a spot on this list.—David Fear

49. Otis, Superman (1978)

Who knows why a mastermind like Lex Luthor keeps this bumbling henchman around to send his nuclear missiles to the wrong coordinates and ask a bunch of asinine questions? (“Are we going to Addis Ababa, Mistuh Loo-tor?”) As embodied by a pudgy Ned Beatty—and supported by his own dopey theme music—he’s a nincompoop we love.—Joshua Rothkopf

48. Romy White and Michele Weinberger, Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997)

Adorably vacant, these blond L.A. dim bulbs have little to show for their post-high-school lives except for drawers of babydoll tees and dreams deferred. Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow play this clique of two with ferocity.—Joshua Rothkopf

47. Zed, Police Academy 2, 3 and 4 (1985–87)

The comic cop series got a Dadaist jolt with the introduction of Bobcat Goldthwait’s caterwauling thug-turned-cadet. He’s a lovably deranged lunatic who garbles his words, breaks down doors with screams and has an unhealthy obsession with Family Affair. In a formulaic franchise, he’s the constantly surprising and gut-busting wild card.—Keith Uhlich

46. Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

“That was my skull!” the surfing stoner says, whapping his head with the sole of a sneaker. Other resonant aspects to Sean Penn’s legendary character: He prefers his pizza delivered to the classroom, his old man’s got “this ultimate set of tools” (he can fix it) and he looks at waves with the attitude of: Hey, bud, let’s party.—Joshua Rothkopf

44. Jerry Lundegaard, Fargo (1996)

He just wants his wife kidnapped (“For chris’sake here!”). William H. Macy’s timid Minnesotan auto salesman has an extortion plan that goes spectacularly awry in the Coen brothers’ beloved crime comedy. Rarely has it been so pleasurable watching a dunderhead squirm and stutter his way into trouble.—Keith Uhlich

43. Shelley Darlingson, The House Bunny (2008)

Evicted from her Eden of carefree nudity (Hef’s Playboy Mansion), this bimbette has nowhere to wobble except to the lame sorority across town, where she just might find a purpose. Comedy treasure Anna Faris modulates Shelley’s awakening with just the right amount of dimness.—Joshua Rothkopf

42. Roger Rabbit, Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

The cartoon star of Robert Zemeckis’s live-action–animation blockbuster is wrongly accused of murder, but that doesn’t stop him from driving everyone Looney Tunes with his dopey voice and frenzy of Acme explosive antics. The batty bunny is ultimately endearing; just don’t give him liquor. P-b-b-b-b-blease!—Keith Uhlich

41. Olive Neal, Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

One of Woody Allen’s many memorable female inventions, this wanna-be stage actress is a hazardous combination of utter ineptitude and obnoxious entitlement (her boyfriend is the mobster producing the show). The role required a blazing mind—and got one in Jennifer Tilly, who roots out all of Olive’s delicious denseness.—Joshua Rothkopf

40. Garth Algar, Wayne’s World (1992)

He taught us how to schwing with the best of them. Whether romancing his dream girl to Jimi Hendrix’s “Foxy Lady” or pontificating on the sexiness of Bugs Bunny in drag, Dana Carvey’s goofball metalhead makes idiocy seem almost cool. He plays a mean drum solo, too—we’re not worthy!—Keith Uhlich

39. Aldous Snow, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Less a modern Jim Morrison than a shaggy-headed hood ornament, Russell Brand completely owns this comedy in a handful of scenes, gyrating to his hit song “Inside of You” and embarrassing all within earshot. The character demanded a sequel, Get Him to the Greek, that jettisoned Jason Segel completely.—Joshua Rothkopf

38. Alan Garner, The Hangover (2009)

The omega male of the Wolf Pack, Zach Galifianakis’s bearded manchild ping-pongs between blissful stupidity (“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust!”) and shockingly stunted maturity. (Seriously, what adult would make a baby mime masturbation?) Alan is the heart and soul of the group; just don’t mistake him for the brains.—David Fear

37. Ulysses Everett McGill, O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

In the Coen brothers’ Southern gothic comedy, George Clooney adopts a backwoods accent and a full-hick gait as the leader of three chain-gang escapees. But between the seductive sirens and vengeful Klan members they encounter, this boob and his boys just can’t seem to stay on track—except when they’re singing bluegrass.—Keith Uhlich

36. Brigadier General Jack Ripper, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

“Our precious bodily fluids” found no more ardent defender than this deranged officer who, with the merest nudge into Commie paranoia, sends the world tumbling toward nuclear apocalypse. If Stanley Kubrick’s genius satire had a lesser actor than Sterling Hayden in the role, it would barely register as a comedy.—Joshua Rothkopf

35. Anthony “Man” Stoner, Up in Smoke (1978)

Tommy Chong had already perfected his spaced-out persona on Cheech and Chong’s comedy albums, but it was the duo’s film debut that established him as the Rosetta atoner of the movies. Every screen pothead owes him a debt, though Chong’s fully baked burnout makes his fellow cinematic tokers seem like Rhodes Scholars by comparison.—David Fear

34. Bruce Baldwin, His Girl Friday (1940)

Ralph Bellamy’s definitive straight man personifies everything this zany screwball comedy despises: a boring job and a bland married life in Albany. No wonder Rosalind Russell is drawn back to the urbane embrace of Cary Grant. Bellamy’s acting is no less impressive, even as the butt of the jokes.—Joshua Rothkopf

33. Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump (1994)

Tom Hanks’s Candide-like dunce—he of the scatterbrained stare and slow-witted drawl—survives all the tumultuous events of 20th-century American history in Robert Zemeckis’s award-winning, decades-spanning farce. Plus, he’s probably the most quoted movie imbecile ever—we’d bet a box of chocolates on that.—Keith Uhlich

32. Stan, Sons of the Desert (1933)

In what’s considered the best of Laurel and Hardy’s features, our man Stan’s “bright” idea for attending a Shriners-like convention hinges on a head-slappingly dense item: a doctor’s note written by a veterinarian. A fine mess, naturally, ensues. Memo to self: Never rely on a naive goof to keep your story straight to an angry spouse. It’ll end in broken houseware.—David Fear

31. Mongo, Blazing Saddles (1974)

Former NFL star Alex Karras’s frontier lunkhead can knock out a horse in one punch, but he’s dumb enough to fall for the old bomb-inside-a-fake-Candygram trick. “Mongo only pawn in game of life,” the henchman muses philosophically in Mel Brooks’s parody Western—the main takeaway being, Mongo no like impersonal pronouns.—David Fear

30. George W. Bush, W. (2008)

Josh Brolin plays our 43rd President with fratboy petulance in Oliver Stone’s satiric biopic. From his grotesquely posturing strut to his perpetually pouty expression, he’s the commander-in-chief as self-righteous numskull. If this guy can hold the highest office in the land, then anyone can.—Keith Uhlich

29. Leo Bloom, The Producers (1968)

No one did unhinged hysteria better than Gene Wilder in Mel Brooks’s showbiz satire, the launching pad for the Broadway smash decades later. Bloom, an accountant, is exactly the dupe required for the plot’s ridiculous share-selling scam; he’s also very close to a frightened child in need of a hug.—Joshua Rothkopf

28. Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, Dumb & Dumber (1994)

They ask someone from Austria about “put[ting] another shrimp on the barbie, mate!” and ought to be kept as far away from icy, tongue-attracting poles as possible. The question isn’t whether Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels’s road-tripping knuckleheads earn the titular descriptors; it’s which of these morons is merely the “dumb” one.—David Fear

27. Professor Julius Kelp, The Nutty Professor (1963)

Jerry Lewis may have played both sides of this Jekyll-and-Hyde story, but it’s Kelp—the bucktoothed loser who’s equally hopeless in the classroom and the weight room—that gives Lewis license to go all-out on the geekishness. It’s the apex of a career devoted to playing manic manchildren.—David Fear

26. Brick Tamland, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

All the elements come together for Steve Carell’s legendary, career-defining performance: the plastic grin, the weatherman’s comb-over, the 48 IQ, the random asides (“I ate a big red candle!”). In his own serene way, Brick is the movie’s ultimate vortex of stupidity.—Joshua Rothkopf

25. Floyd, True Romance (1993)

Who’s that pretty face on the couch? Why, it’s Brad Pitt, making the most of his cameo as a cheerfully carefree stoner (“You wanna watch some TV or omething’?”) in this Quentin Tarantino–penned crime thriller. Even when the room’s filled with gun-toting mobsters, this jovial pothead never loses his high.—Keith Uhlich

24. Homer Simpson, The Simpsons Movie (2007)

True, everyone’s favorite golden-hued doofus is better known for putting the boob in boob tube. But given the sheer idiocy Homer displays in this feature (e.g., inadvertently turning Springfield into a toxic-waste Thunderdome), his big-screen incarnation deserves a mention. That “Spider-Pig” theme song is Homerfoolery at its best.—David Fear

Sacha Baron Cohen’s faux-Kazakh journalist is not only a triumph of Method immersion; he’s a prime example of using cultural cluelessness as a form of comedic jujitsu. All of which is a fancy way of saying that his derailing of a dinner party via a plastic bag of feces will make you lose control of your bladder.—David Fear

22. Frito Pendejo, Idiocracy (2006)

He’s a slack-jawed dope who got his law degree at a Costco (“Luckily, my dad was an alumnus and pulled some strings”)—a guy who likes money and masturbating. But in the nightmarish future of Mike Judge’s prophetic comedy, Dax Shepard is also one of the smarter folks.—Joshua Rothkopf

21. Emma “Billie” Dawn, Born Yesterday (1950)

Judy Holliday had already become famous for playing this bubbleheaded moll on Broadway, so it was a no-brainer to have her reprise the role in George Cukor’s screen adaptation. The result not only turned Holliday into a star; it set the template for every dumb-blond type from Marilyn Monroe onward.—David Fear

20. Chad Feldheimer, Burn After Reading (2008)

Already on this list, Brad Pitt is back—older and, if possible, stupider—in the Coen brothers’ CIA comedy. Pitt’s gym-bunny-turned-amateur-blackmailer shows that the term dumb blond is hardly limited to females. Worried about the “security of your shit”? You should be when Chad’s around.—Keith Uhlich

19. Buck Laughlin, Best in Show (2000)

To many eyes the most consistently hilarious member of the Christopher Guest troupe, Fred Willard eclipses all his other efforts with this dim-witted color commentator. Bored out of his skull at a dog show, Buck resorts to inappropriate notes about bench-pressing and—jaw-droppingly—the foreign inclination to eat canine contestants.—Joshua Rothkopf

18. Billy Madison, Billy Madison (1995)

Before he became an ambassador for enraged frat-dudes, Adam Sandler gave the world the ultimate arrested adolescent with this character, who must repeat and pass grades one through 12. Not that this makes Billy any smarter: His answer during a climactic academic decathlon prompts the quizmaster to declare, “Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.”—David Fear

16. Charles Pike, The Lady Eve (1941)

Henry Fonda’s woman-shy ophiologist would rather spend his time with snakes than ladies, aw-shucksing his way out of every proposal. But even he can’t hiss away the attentions of Barbara Stanwyck’s seductive con artist, who makes this introverted, klutzy milquetoast literally fall head over heels.—Keith Uhlich

14. Derek Zoolander, Zoolander (2001)

Ben Stiller’s brainless male model joyfully splashes Diet Coke on his hair, seethes at the competition and desperately tries to unleash his signature look, the Magnum. But what if there’s more to life than being “really, really, really ridiculously good-looking”? Then he’ll open the Derek Zoolander Center for Children Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.—Joshua Rothkopf

13. May, Small Time Crooks (2000)

Though Woody Allen cast Elaine May as this farce’s intellectual weak link, she’s the film’s ace in the hole. Anyone can play dumb; only a comedic dynamo like May can make you believe the character is actually dumb while still turning lines like, “I hate anything with a toothpick. They lodge in your throat” into deadpan zingers.—David Fear

12. Edward D. Wood Jr., Ed Wood (1994)

It takes a certain kind of talent to be the worst at something. In Tim Burton’s b&w biopic, Johnny Depp plays the god-awful auteur behind Plan 9 from Outer Space with insinuating charm. Moronic though his ideas may be (UFOs made out of paper plates!), you’d follow him anywhere—even into the tentacles of a rubber octopus.—Keith Uhlich

11. H.I. McDunnough, Raising Arizona (1987)

“It ain’t armed robbery if the gun ain’t loaded!” That’s the kind of twisted logic that makes this frenetic slapstick comedy so exhilarating, and Nicolas Cage’s softheaded criminal turned devoted family man (who’ll risk life and limb for a package of Huggies) a quintessential buffoon.—Keith Uhlich

10. Inspector Clouseau, the Pink Panther movies (1963–78)

Many actors have portrayed France’s No. 1 law officer—Alan Arkin, Steve Martin, Roger Moore (really?)—but Peter Sellers owns the role. Introduced as a supporting character in the first Pink Panther movie, this clumsy, thoroughly incompetent and impenetrably accented detective eventually went from foil to front-and-center hero. Over the course of five films (six if you count the Sellers outtakes used in 1982’s Trail of the Pink Panther), the British star displayed a peerless talent for physical comedy. No other recurring protagonist has shown such a facility for accidentally inciting mayhem; whether he’s being ambushed by his loyal servant, Cato, or simply investigating a crime scene, Clouseau inevitably left chaos and wrecked furniture in his wake.—David Fear

9. Nigel Tufnel, This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Has another comic creation infiltrated the backstage rock world as thoroughly as Christopher Guest’s hapless axman? (The movie is so quotable, its stars were able to reunite as an actual touring band in front of capacity crowds.) Throw the film on for the millionth time, and it won’t even take the now-iconic bits of metal lore to start you cry-laughing; all you’ll need is a mere look at Nigel’s face, gap-mouthed, debauched, ready to party. When he speculates about what he’d be doing were it not for heavy metal—“A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher?”—the sincerity slays you. Nigel may be the composer of “Lick My Love Pump,” but he’s basically a simp who wants a job. Years before Behind the Music, director Rob Reiner’s skewering of Zeppelinesque bombast amped up the gags to, you guessed it, 11.—Joshua Rothkopf

8. Monsieur Hulot, Mr. Hulot’s Holiday

The great French mime Jacques Tati introduced his pipe-smoking, endlessly blundering alter ego in this b&w confection—a loosely connected series of vignettes set during one summer at the seashore. Hulot’s a halfwit who can no more change a tire (the car rolls away) than he can sail a kayak (the vessel collapses in the middle, swallowing him like a ravenous sea creature). Yet no matter the obstacle, the character’s fortitude somehow carries him through: Witness the hilarious tennis match in which his ridiculous serving pose actually gives him the upper hand.—Keith Uhlich

7. Lieutenant Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun (1988)

Leslie Nielsen had already spoofed his stoic performing style in Airplane!, but he’ll be best remembered as oafish policeman Frank Drebin (who first appeared in short-lived 1982 sitcom Police Squad!). The incompetent flatfoot is tasked with protecting the Queen of England, which leads to everything from a car chase in a driver’s-ed vehicle to concrete-dildo molestation. (Drebin even tackles Her Royal Highness missionary-style.) Our protagonist’s cool-as-a-cucumber attitude is uproarious, even more so when it’s interrupted by poisonous fighting fishes, pillows thrown in self-defense and the presence of a vivacious secretary with a “nice beaver” (an actual beaver, mind you). All this, and he practices safe sex.—Keith Uhlich

Most schools are lucky if they get one “whoa”-dacious dude, like Ridgemont High’s resident surfing champ, Jeff Spicoli. San Dimas High, however, is blessed with two totally awesome space cadets. The future metalhead superstars of Wyld Stallyns don’t know much about history (“Who’s Joan of Arc?” “Uh…Noah’s wife?”), but they do know how to show such visiting historical figures as Beethoven, Abe Lincoln and “So-craytes” a kick-ass time in the modern world. Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves wisely add a dose of gosh-all wonderment to these goofy airheads, making their simplemindedness into something like a Zen philosophy: Just be nice instead of bogus, and everything will turn out most triumphantly.—David Fear

5. Navin R. Johnson, The Jerk (1979)

Allow us to get serious for moment—about a very unserious movie—and say that Steve Martin’s first starring vehicle was as seismic a moment for comedy as Marlon Brando’s On the Waterfront was for drama. (The two eras ought to be divided into “Before Jerk” and “After Jerk,” though those initials might cause problems.) In stand-up circles, Martin’s brand of arrow-through-the-head silliness already flew in the face of cerebral wisecrackers like Woody Allen. Yet his vibe would become the dominant one, no doubt because of The Jerk, which was a monster hit. Born—he tells us—a poor black child, Navin yearns to make his mark, to be listed in the phone book (“Things are going to start happening to me now!”), to meet beautiful ditz Bernadette Peters. But it’s the way the movie functions as a cracked version of the American Dream that makes Navin feel more relatable than he ought to be.—Joshua Rothkopf

4. Carl Spackler, Caddyshack (1980)

“It’s the snobs versus the slobs,” proclaimed the poster for the world’s greatest golfing comedy. But only one man mystified both camps: Bill Murray’s demented gardener. A lecherous yahoo who hates his boss almost as much as he hates vermin, Carl Spackler gets most of the good lines in this gross-out classic (“On your deathbed, you receive total consciousness…so I got that going for me, which is nice”). He can even make a nonsense phrase like “gunga-galunga” side-splittingly funny. Who knows why Murray chose to make Carl slightly cross-eyed and mumble out of the side of mouth, but it works: Spackler’s slightly brain-damaged look only makes his attempts at being a stone-cold gofer killer that much more inept. Watch how he guiltily lopes away after blowing up the course; it’s the walk of an idiot as interpreted by a genius.—David Fear

3. Chance, Being There (1979)

Peter Sellers was no stranger to playing buffoons (see our No. 10 pick), but his ultimate dolt is surely the gentle, TV-obsessed gardener (who’s a few episodes short of a full series) in Hal Ashby’s boisterous and scathing political satire. After his elderly benefactor dies, shut-in Chance is evicted from his home for the first time in his life (a disco remix of 2001’s “Also Sprach Zarathustra” suggests that it’s a big deal). Then fate puts him in the path of Shirley MacLaine’s socialite, Eve Rand, who mistakes the idiot for a savant. Soon, Chance is making a splash on talk shows with his homespun “wisdom” and being talked about as a possible presidential contender. Sellers is scarily committed to his role as a blank-faced media celeb on whom an agitated populace projects its hopes and dreams. An ignoramus’s brain farts taken as holy writ? Only in the U.S. of A.—Keith Uhlich

2. Otto West, A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

“Don’t call me stupid,” says this stupidest of men, repeatedly, in a movie that aches to contain his sheer wrongheadedness. Ex-CIA (though not out of the habit of inflicting pain), Otto is an Anglophobe surrounded by Brits driving on the wrong side of the road, an uncomprehending student of philosophy (“Aristotle was not Belgian!” his sister shrieks) and a truly inept criminal. Kevin Kline, tapping the fury and speed of his theater background, creates a confidently clueless character: the essence of half-smart. Monty Python fans queued up for a nostalgic taste of their favorite clowns, but left theaters knocked out by the witless American who outpaced them all. For his undeniably brilliant performance, Kline beat out heavy-hitters like Alec Guinness and Martin Landau to win an Oscar—less a credit to the Academy getting it right than to an actor pushing comedy into a respected realm it rarely enjoys.—Joshua Rothkopf

1. Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski, The Big Lebowski (1998)

The Coen brothers have long had a weakness for dimwits, dupes and dopes with delusions of grandeur (five of their characters show up on this list). But no other Coen creation has so memorably exemplified the filmmakers’ view of what fools these mortals be than Jeff Bridges’s SoCal stoner, an amiable ’60s casualty concerned only with bowling and burning one in his bathrobe. Fate has other plans in store for the Dude when he’s thrust into a shady world of kidnappers, extortionists, Malibu porn moguls and German nihilists—all of whom become increasingly exasperated by Lebowski’s incomprehension and nonsensical blathering. Though the Coens conceived him as a smart-ass riposte to Bogart’s savvy sleuths, their perplexed white knight ends up as an emblem of West Coast flakiness—the kind of Angeleno for whom ambitions or smarts are less important than a peaceful, easy feeling (even though he hates the Eagles). Lebowski may barely understand what’s going on in this parody of noir L.A., but frankly, he’s happier to breeze through life without getting bummed out by the modern world. And if you’re not cool with that, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.—David Fear

Maybe you’re busy preparing your April Fool’s Day pranks—be careful with any machines or moving parts. Beforehand, we suggest you study up on the masters of sheer stupidity: Time Out New York’s authoritative ranking of big-screen dopes. You’ll find many a crafty schemer on these pages, but it never works out well for them. Fool you once, fool you twice—how about we fool you 50 times? Enjoy (but check your brain at the door). And if we were so idiotic as to leave out your favorite lunkhead, throw a rock in the comments section.

Comments

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This is actually a fairly comprehensive list. I just really wished for one addition (and I don't think I saw it listed). James Franco's character in Pineapple Express. To me, that was one of the funniest performances in years of an 'idiot'.