Brian Edwards Media

I’m being divorced – by Telecom!

You may remember that I bought one of your WorldMode Roaming phones a couple of years back before Brian and I went to Europe. It was the latest technology and it cost me an arm and a leg, but it allowed me to happily text back and forth to New Zealand from the TGV and phone friends in France for less than using a local phone booth.

You’ve now been calling me regularly for months urging me to “upgrade” to the XT network. I’ve got very good reasons for turning down your kind offers. Here they are:

My GSM phone works in Vietnam. Brian’s nice new XT phone doesn’t.

My GSM phone works in Cambodia. Brian’s nice new XT phone doesn’t.

My GSM phone works in Rarotonga. Brian’s nice new XT phone doesn’t.

So far the only places we’ve been that Brian’s nice new XT phone has worked are Singapore, Sydney and Brisbane. (I’d say “Australia”, but one of our friends can’t get his nice new XT phone to work in Melbourne.)

We’ve finally accepted that his phone isn’t going to work in half the places we like to visit. However, between my GSM phone and his XT phone we can muddle through.

But here’s the thing: I’ve just received a letter from you telling me that from 28 October you’re cutting off the WorldMode Roaming Service.

Telecom is divorcing my phone!

To quote your Mr Paul Taylor, Head of Mobile Marketing:

‘The XT Mobile Network provides a considerably better global roaming experience than your existing network. Not only can you use your mobile in more destinations, the service is more consistent and provides access to a greater range of services while you are away.’

To which I can only say, “Horse feathers, Paul! I wouldn’t have one of your wretched XT phones at any price. I can’t afford to be out of touch when I’m out of the country. ”

Meantime, while Telecom threatens divorce, Vodafone’s come a-wooing . It could be a messy breakup, but it looks like I’ll just have to climb into bed with a younger network.