This when you go to your Dr. or clinic to get an STD check. The gigantic elephant Q-tip they use to ram inside of your Johnson is very similar to the force and action exhibited by soldiers, pirates, and other cannoneers.

Wade: Holy Fuck man what happened to you last night.

Dick: Man I have no fucking clue, after destroying all of those beers yesterday and taking about 15 valium I blacked out.

Wade: Jesus

Dick: Yeah I woke up with a dirty crack whore in my bed but couldn't find a condom anywhere.