I reject your reality and substitute my own

The TL:DR Bible: Proverbs 13-15

Smart kids listen to their parents. Dumb kids don’t. Which one do you want to be, little Rehoboam? Huh? (Spoiler Alert… he’s one of the dumb ones.)

Words matter.

Lazy people don’t get anything. Unless they inherit it. Hard work will give you all you desire. Unless you’re working for a minimum wage, in which case… 3… maybe, 4 of those will get you what you desire.

There are people who live a lifestyle of wealth, but own nothing but debt, and people who live a simple life who are vastly wealthy… Okay, that was kind of profound, I guess.

Wealth obtained by fraud dwindles (Solomon has never heard of Wall St. and the financial industry.)

Your life will suck if you’re evil, but you will be blessed by God if you’re good. Job? WRONG!

Chapter 14:

A wise woman builds her house. A foolish one tears her house down. Yeah… they can’t all be winners, guys.

If you love God, your actions will reflect that.

Fools say shit that deserves a punch to the face. The wise have more tact.

If you don’t have oxen, your barn won’t have shit in it, but it also won’t be producing wealth either.

Honest people say the truth. Liars tell lies.

No one can feel your pain or your joy.

You may think the path you’re on is a good one, but it might lead to death, so come follow this other path that could also lead to death if I’m wrong. Pascal’s wager!

People sometimes hide their depression.

The Fox News viewer believes anything. But the sensible man considers the source.

Quick tempered, thin skinned people will cause trouble. Seems oddly prescient. Maybe this book was inspired.

Everyone hates the poor. But we all love the rich.

Still, it’s wrong to deny your poor neighbor charity.

Wise people are rich. Like me, King Solomon.

People who can control their anger are wise. Thin-skinned people tweet folly.

The righteous will prosper, the wicked will suffer…

The king likes good slaves. Bad slaves get the whip.

Chapter 15:

Choose your words wisely.

Wise people can teach. Fools just say whatever is on their minds no matter how stupid or nonsensical.

God is everywhere watching us all. Which should be of great comfort to rape and murder victims. God sees you, but doesn’t do anything to help you.

Words can heal or hurt.

Seriously, Rehoboam, listen to my instruction so you don’t do something stupid like alienate 10 of the tribes and cause a civil war and lasting schism.

Righteous people have lots of money.

God hates religious observances that are devoid of good works.

Seriously, even though it doesn’t look like it will happen, the righteous will be blessed by God, while the evil people will be punished and killed.

Trolls hate people who correct them. Stop engaging with them.

The mind of the intelligent man seeks knowledge. The mind of the simple seeks reality TV programs.

It’s better to eat a Vegan meal cooked by someone who loves you than it is to eat a giant steak with someone who despises you.

“Without consultation, plans fail, but with many consultants is great success,” said the consultant shortly before he was hired on at a salary much greater than yours.

Don’t take bribes.

Smart people think before they speak. Stupid people don’t.

And more God will prosper the righteous (Job: WRONG!) and punish the wicked.