NASA SLASHES SPACE SHUTTLE’S BUDGET: NO MORE IN-FLIGHT PRETZELS

CAPE CANAVERAL – Looking at ways to slash the high cost of space travel, NASA announced today that beginning with the next shuttle mission it will eliminate free pretzels and start charging astronauts for overweight baggage.“This current [shuttle] mission is awfully expensive, what with trying to keep the ship from blowing up and so forth,” said Dr. Benjamin Cardozo, director of the Kennedy Space Center. “The pretzels and the luggage are obvious areas where we can draw the line on costs.”Rick Sturcko, Commander of the shuttle Atlantis, says he is "damn upset" about the pretzels. “You betcha, I am. I’ve been trying to enlist John Glenn to talk sense to these NASA buffoons but that . . . bald-headed bastard won’t return my calls.”Dr. Cardozo chuckled, “If Rick is upset about the pretzels, wait until he sees how many astronauts I’m going to cram on the next flight so that I can save space.”