This blog is dedicated to the sharing of grace, joy and love--on the good days when life is sunny and on the rough days when the world is muddy. Written from my ministry-minded perspective as a follower of Christ, wife, mama, daughter, sister, and friend.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

I have made it no secret that I have been walking through a
tunnel in my spiritual journey. I am
wading through murky waters clinging to my beliefs but being bogged down by
hurt and pain. I have found that God
still speaks to me even when my faith is faded.
And, He often gets my attention through my beloved medium of film. I will hear a character state something profound. I will read articles on filmmakers “why” for
making a film. I read reviews. I watch movies as a hiding place, a safe
place. I always take something away…and
sometimes, I believe the things circling in my mind are directives from my
Maker.

One such instance was through a cult classic movie that I
enjoy immensely.The Stepford Wives
was released in 1975 and a remake in 2004.I have seen both, and I do love seeing Nicole Kidman as the perfect,
submissive, well-groomed wife.The film
is twisted, but filled with a dark humor that I have always been drawn to.The premise of these films is a family
relocating to a beautiful, perfect community where every marriage is ideal and
everyone looks as if they have stepped out of the pages of a Ralph Lauren
catalog.There are no tears, no arguments,
no bad days.The men fit every archaic
stereotype from golf-playing to pipe-smoking to whiskey-drinking.The women shop, cook, clean and keep their
husbands happy, all while wearing heels, having amazingly coiffed hair, and showing
a permanent smile.Throughout the course
of the movie, Kidman’s character discovers the women are actually robots (or
fembots if you are a little nerdy).I
won’t go into all the science-fiction vernacular, but it’s apparent the women
have been wired by men for men.There is
no freedom, no choices to be made, and truly no variety.The community is one of control and assumed
perfection.

There is a myth in Christianity that once you profess Jesus
as your Savior, once you are saved you change instantly to a perfect person.Now, I can tell you that the Bible says in 2
Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore,
if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold,
the new has come.”This is telling when
someone accepts Jesus and His forgiveness of sins shown by His death on the
cross and His resurrection three days later, the sins of the old life have been
forgiven and a new life, free of sin has begun.However, we never are rid of the sin problem.Everyone sins.Everyday.But, with Jesus at the helm, the gifts of forgiveness and grace are
given.The opportunity to repent from
wrongdoings and to follow God and His Word come with the acceptance of
Christ.The Holy Spirit also becomes a
part of the one who has given his life to Jesus.All that to say, the truth is a new creation
is born at the point of acknowledging sin, confessing to God, and accepting His
Son, Jesus as the Sovereign One over life.

What
this does not mean is that when a person chooses to become a Christian, a flip
is switched and they are morphed into a perfect person.There are many perceptions that Christians
are all “this” or “that”.The most
prevalent misrepresentation is perfection.While I would have loved to know that when I chose the path to follow
Jesus and the Bible, I would never mess up, I would always appear to be put
together, and I would do life perfectly.The freedom to choose does not go away.The Holy Spirit and His discernment appear, often as a “still small
voice” as referenced in the Bible.BUT,
the power to make good or poor choices still remain.While Christian are often guilty of putting
on their “church face”…you know, the “how are you”, “oh, I am great, how are
you” routine…they don’t have it together.I am speaking from experience.I
feel the greatest tool I have in my faith, whether it is bright and sparkling
or whether it is faded and torn, is transparency.I want people to know my faith shapes
me.I love God, Jesus, the Bible…but I
am not a robot mindlessly following a church or a man.And right now, if you asked me “how are you”,
I would say “crazy, sad, mad, lonely.”Not really a perfect Christian answer, right?And, that’s my point.Christians aren’t perfect.I am DEFINITELY not perfect.I have hurt people.I battle demons of depression.I doubt.I question.I worry.I sin.BUT, I have the gift of salvation.When I realize I have sinned or am sinning (and I pray that the Holy
Spirit pesters me until I do realize), I confess it in prayer to Jesus, I ask
for forgiveness, and I am redeemed and restored.

I
love the idea of a Stepford wife.I
would love to walk around every day with perfect hair and make-up.I would always say the right thing.My husband would always be proud.My children would always be happy.My programming would make their world
ideal.However, I am a broken mess.Through the experiences I have had, the consequences
of choices I have made, the battles I have faced, the joys I have felt, I am
able to teach my children.I am a model
to them that life is not perfect.I show
that in spite of my imperfections, I have value and am being used to lift up
others.My imperfections make my life
interesting.God is not a God of
control; He is a God of love.He wants
us to choose Him…to worship Him, to love Him.He has the power to have a world of Stepford people, but He has given us
the gift of freedom to choose for ourselves.

You
don’t have to be perfect to become a Christian.You won’t be perfect after you become one.You will remain a beautiful mess, but you
will no longer belong to yourself.You
will belong to the God who made you, designed you, and has a great purpose for
you.So many gifts are free to you…forgiveness,
grace, redemption, joy, peace.You will
never be alone.I know that does sound
cheesy, but it’s true.Even in my
darkest, loneliest times, I feel a comfort and peace that make no sense.And, I know those are benefits of the Holy
Spirit being an active part of my being.

If
ever you question Christianity, know this…we aren’t perfect.Those who portray that they are, well, they
are lying.If you have questions or want
more information on this topic, please let me know, and I will direct you to
some awesome and intelligent resources.I’m no scholar…I am a big sinner who is struggling with my faith, but
who knows my faith is what is holding me together.