Pay No Attention to the VIPs Behind the Curtain

Last night's star-speckled screening of SOS, a cluster of short films bearing an earth-hugging agenda (to be shown later this year at the Live Earth concert), kicked off the Tribeca Film Festival with a head scratch. Yay! : Edie Falco, Adrian Grenier, Freddie Rodriguez, Kerry Washington, Shalom Harlow, Christie Brinkley, and others prowled the long serpentine red carpet beneath umbrella tents at BMCC TribecaPAC. Boo!: Too many jogged past reporters sans comment, with some exceptions.

"It's a wonderful chance to see very deserving indie films like Spider-Man 3," said Gideon Yago. In the spirit of short films, Jimmy Fallon, Jesse Bradford, and Mary Stuart Masterson all fessed up to adult-onset ADD. "My attention span is so short that I don't remember what you just asked me," Fallon said. As for ecological responsibility, nobody's perfect: Petra Nemcova puts up with ozone-killing hairspray on photo shoots, Bradford drives an SUV, and Masterson refuses to be stingy with toilet paper. When we asked about the brewing feud between film-fest honchos Robert De Niro and David Bowie, most agreed that De Niro would prevail in a throwdown.

Who could forget the odd sight of Billie Jean King, Tiki Barber, and Masterson in a group hug? Or the coronation-like entrances (one by one) of De Niro, Martin Scorsese and Jon Bon Jovi, which stunned the massive press line into a frozen cacophony ("Bob!" "Marty!" "Jon!")? (Event host Al Gore, the man who actually would have been king in 2000 if not for the Supreme Court, didn't walk the carpet at all.) As for more celeb banter, we'd just nail the rest at the after-party. No screening passes for us, unfortunately.

Later, at the World Financial Center's Winter Garden, Bradford, Masterson, and Freddie Rodriguez enjoyed the spirits, pass-arounds, potted palm trees, and stunning views of New Jersey. Outside, three uninvited protesters held signs that read "Who killed the electric pedicab? Al Gore, please help." But where was everybody else? And why did the D.J. play Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable" twice in one hour? True, that hit did have added resonance this Earth month: Our planet, unlike Beyoncé's scrubby suitors, is indeed irreplaceable. We circled and circled the colossal space to find more of the boldfaced from the premiere, ultimately to no avail. As we defeatedly fetched our umbrellas to leave, we noticed a black-curtained-off room near the entrance. A flack curtly explained that it was the VIP Room, and no press was allowed. Guess if Gore, et al, are going to rescue all of us from global warming, they're going to need a secret lair. —Justin Ravitz

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