"Oh. Well still it must be interesting to interact with business leaders and be their legal wingman."

"Actually, I don't interact directly with my clients. That's all done through a chain of intermediaries. Probably a good thing. My clients all seem like assholes, and I'm not good at dealing with people."

"Oh. Well still it must be nice to get to work with so many smart, driven people. The office culture must be heady and intellectually stimulating."

"Actually, my office is half dumbs and half miserable sociopaths. It's depressing to realize that if the building goes down these are the people I'll die alongside. And I think about the building going down all the time."

"Oh. Well still it must be nice to pull in so much money."

"Yes. I'll be out of the hole and back to zero in just a few years."

"OK well I have to go now. I'm realizing Tinder isn't really for me anymore."

Obviously this is scholarship, but I think my favorite part is about the building going down. During my darkest biglaw days, I would fantasize that the building would simply collapse while I was out to lunch, I would be the only survivor and... actually, I'm not sure what happens after that. I guess they would either rehire and recreate an office and I'd be right back where I started or they would abandon the city and I'd be out of a job (which I could do myself by just quitting). But in my idle fantasy, this somehow led to me getting a huge payout for stress or something. I had forgotten all about it, but each time I got back to the office and saw the building still standing, I had a small twinge of disappointment.

In one of the lesser Grisham books he actually writes about pretty much this exact fantasy. Except the building burns down and it's a firm that dinged him. The book is very vague on why it burned down.

2. Go back in time and, inapplicably, instead of convincing your younger self to do anything other than law, convince your younger self to do better on the lsat, go to a better law school, and/or get better grades.

"But those contracts. When it's 3:00 AM and I'm editing a contract, sometimes it will strike you. The way Section 7.2 interacts with section 3.1(iii). It's a thing of beauty. And at that moment, i find my inner peace, my joie de vivre."

"Oh, that's really good for you! My cousin is on the spectrum, too. I'm going to go talk to these firefighters that just walked in the bar, bye!"

Sorry, but you're a fucking lawyer. If you're doing corp work for a top firm you should be able to romanticize about it so it sounds epic so some Admin Assistant tinder date. This isn't fucking hard, folks. But yeah on an honest level 180 thread