Month: December 2014

Hey guys! Did you miss me? YES, YOU DID. Well, I missed you, so now you should feel bad. Anyhoo, I have been wicked busy doing nothing, which means you were probably doing more important things than I was.

So how about some more random thoughts? Some of these were overheard between Wondergirl and Kid Sensation, so they are extra random.

Wondergirl:

Quit spraying it! IT’S DEAD! I have no clue what this was about because I was way too scared to go look.

Why are your pants making noise? Sit down, I can’t hear! Geez, Wondergirl. Let us wear corduroy in peace around here. By “us”, I mean me. By “let” I mean “shut your pie-hole”.

Did I say you could sit by me? No she didn’t.

She looks like a social worker named Pauline. This is what I thought when I saw Wondergirl’s hilarious school picture. Okay, this is what I said out loud.

Kid Sensation:

AAAAAHHHH! He turned on the vacuum by accident and got scared and ran. So I had to go upstairs and turn it off.

Don’t talk to me! Don’t see me! He meant don’t look at me, but he ended up sounding like John Cena instead.

Because I’m American! I don’t know why he shouted this. I don’t even know if he was talking to anyone.

Me:

Chocolate Peppermint milkshake? Darn you, Burgerville!

This is my house, I don’t have to wear a sweatshirt here, I can just turn the heat up. I just came from my folks’ house, where you definitely have to wear a sweatshirt because my dad is Mr. Freeze.

This guy. With chips and a beer.

I can’t believe I just watched that. I couldn’t sleep, so I watched a movie starring DMX. I repeat, starring DMX.

So is it MY turn to run up the stairs screaming at the top of my lungs? No, cause if I do it, then people start throwing words around like “breakdown” and “crazy”.

I can’t have anything! Looking at the demolition derby that is my house through the blur of tears of self-pity.

I forgot how funny the old Looney Tunes are! And racist, don’t forget racist.

This book is terrible. I read the whole thing, though, and by the time I got to the end, it was still terrible.

I think that’s it. You guys, 2014 had been pretty great with you. I will be back in 2015 with a new feature starring Optimus Prime’s brother, Omega Prime. Mama Prime knows what I’m talking about (ooooh, I’m so cryptic…)

Hey you guys. I have been away for a while. Well, I didn’t actually go anywhere, but I was in my feelings for a minute there. I was down and out brooding about my first world problems. (And I’ve been pretty with other writing projects that I hope to share with you guys at some point, but right now I’m shy.) Then I got sick of being pathetic and decided to think about what I do have. I decided to count my blessings. And in true Sesame Street fashion, I want you guys to count with me.

I have all five of my senses in tact.

All of my family members are alive and well.

Speaking of family members, as luck of the draw would have it, mine are pretty great.

The Destroyer’s name means laughter, and every day he makes me do just that.

Kid Sensation is the light of my life.

I have never met anyone like Wondergirl in my entire life, and I feel privileged just to know her. She feels the same way. No, not about me, just the fact that the people who know her are privileged to do so.

I have an amazing husband.

We are not homeless. Kid Sensation just dresses that way.

I have wine and chocolate in my kitchen. Right now.

Speaking of kitchens, there is food in mine. I just don’t feel like cooking it. So when I say we don’t have anything to eat, I’m being a brat.

I can pray. So even when no one else wants to hear it from me, there is someone who does.

My parents. They are the reason I know that me and mine will never go without anything we truly need.

Reality TV. It just makes me feel better that no matter how awful of a human being I am, there are people who are much, much, much,much worse.

My sister Birdie.

Optimus Prime’s mom. She is the only reason going to the Destroyer’s events are bearable. Otherwise I would fall into a weekly depression.