7 behaviors to give up if you want to be happier

There are plenty of things you can, theoretically, add to your life to be happier.

Exercise! Gratitude! Spending time with friends! Hooray!

What's more surprising is that there are plenty of things you can take out of your life to be a happier person. Think of it as decluttering your house, except instead of your house, it's your entire life.

"If the person doesn't have a desire to change within them already, you will end up wasting precious time and energy talking to a brick wall. You can't make people grow. Some people have to grow at their own pace and learn the hard way before they start making the right decisions."

"It is important to accept that failure makes you feel both fear and shame, and to find trusted others with whom you can discuss these feelings.

Bringing these feelings to the surface can help prevent you from expressing them through unconscious efforts to sabotage yourself, and getting reassurance and empathy from trusted others can bolster your feelings of self-worth while minimizing the threat of disappointing them."

Interestingly, a 2008 study found that people tend to value the experience of regret and believe it has some beneficial outcomes, such as making you more insightful and pushing you to pursue the life you desire.

That said, regret can also hurt your ability to recover from stressful life events.

If you feel like you're consumed by regret, take a tip from psychologist Melanie Greenberg. In a Psychology Today column, she suggests giving yourself a break by considering the circumstances that may have limited your ability to make good choices at the time.

5. Expecting things from other people

Multiple Quora users offered some variation on the idea that high expectations can get in the way of happiness.

For example, Vikash Bhandari says you should never expect anything from others: "Stop sitting and expecting things to happen, rise and roll the balls and do make things happen."

6. Trying to please everyone

"If you try to please everyone," writes Alok Pandey, "you end up pleasing [no one], sometimes not even yourself."

In a Psychology Today column, psychologist Julie J. Exline writes that there's a difference between "being kind and helpful" and "being crippled by fears of interpersonal conflict" — and the latter is what often characterizes people-pleasers.

To get over your people-pleasing tendencies, Exline says you may simply have to tolerate the discomfort of saying "no." Over time, through repeated exposure to this experience, it will get easier.

7. Holding onto grudges

Several Quora users mentioned that it's unwise to carry around grudges and the hope of getting revenge. In the long run, it only ends up hurting you — not the person who upset you.