Wednesday, December 04, 2002

We Want Al, We Want Al

Inside the bowels of the White House in a dark oak, paneled room President Bush and Vice President Cheney sit in oversized leather armchairs sipping brandy and smoking cigars (Cubans of course). President Bush reaches for a remote control on a table next to his chair, points it at a wall with a large screen television in the center surrounded on all sides by several smaller screens, and pushes a button repeatedly.

"Corn sarnett anyway! I can never get this thing to work", he blurts out in exasperation. "Karl get in here!"

A hidden door slides open in the wall behind Bush and Cheney and Karl Rove emerges.

"Yes, Mr. President?"

"I want to show Dick the Gore tape you boys put together and this darn blasted thing doesn't want to cooperate," Bush explains as he hands the remote control to Rove. "You did get it finished didn't ya?"

"Of course Mr. President and just as you instructed we have assembled the highlights from all of Al Gore's media appearances during the previous week." Rove points the remote, pushes a button, and the large screen flickers to life. "And here it is for you sir." Rove quietly hands Bush back the remote and disappears.

The screen fills with an image of Gore on the Tonight Show and Bush smiles.

"Can you believe that they're going to run this loser against me again Dick? What a major league asshole!"

"Big time."

They both begin chortling and laughing derisively as they watch Gore answer questions. Their brandy glasses clink as they toast to victory and even exchange a high five at one point.