He also said that using the terms “nerd” or “geek” to describe people is the same as using the worst of racial slurs. His actual quote is “I feel these words are as insulting as nigger.” This, many would probably argue, is not such a cool thing to do, so hats remain on this time.

But if geek and nerd have been “reclaimed” as many would argue, it illustrates that they needed to be reclaimed in the first place. Nobody deserves to be mocked, bullied or shunned purely because they have an affinity for maths, or computing, or just lack social confidence or have an interest in something beyond that of most people, and the fact that this happened so often (and still regularly does) is a bad thing.

But to compare “nerd” and “geek” to the most offensive of racial epithets is surely ridiculous? You may think so, but what you’re overlooking is the fact that this isn’t just some random opinion; it’s a wealthy middle-aged white man’s opinion! Ergo, it must be considered in all seriousness. And, if you look into the tragic and brutal history experienced by geeks and nerds over the centuries, you will see that it is a very fair comparison.

There are many different explanations for the differences between nerds and geeks, but the truth is the terms are interchangeable. The terms come from the fact that nerds and geeks originate from what was known as the country of Nerdrovia, located in the Geekistan sea, hence the two names were used by the different colonial powers in play at the time the Geek and Nerd people were “discovered”, and have since become common.

Nerdrovia is a large island but the treacherous Geekistan sea prevents easy crossing, so the indigenous population was essentially stuck to their island, meaning accelerated morphological evolution. Nerdrovia has many strange properties, which resulted in many bizarre features that shaped the development of the Nerd and Geek people. The volatile geology and unusual weathering led to spontaneous formation of natural laboratories and studios, where the people could study and create things.

But the same conditions kept people indoors generally, leading to a population with rather pasty complexions and a lack of physical prowess. As a result, mating and courtship was based on more intellectual pursuits. An encyclopedic knowledge of a specific subject, the more unimportant the better, became akin to the elaborate antlers of a stag, or a peacock’s tail, and sexual selection took over from there.

Sadly, the European empires eventually discovered Nerdrovia, and immediately saw the potential use of the intellectual but physically unintimidating natives. The first explorers to arrive sometime in the 15th century, in the form of big ships filled with arts graduates and sports enthusiasts, forced the natives at spearpoint to design and create guns, which they then took and forced the same natives at gunpoint to design better and more efficient guns, as these first ones weren’t too reliable, and then they took those better guns and started rounding up nerds and geeks for export to the home nations.

Nerdrovia quickly became a battleground as the rival empires sought to exploit its useful population and natural resources. Nerds and Geeks were scattered across mainland Europe, where they were ruthlessly put to work, inventing things and working out complicated problems for the various governments and ruling parties. Given their tendencies and abilities, Nerds and Geeks weren’t recognised as actual people and were usually classed as “a type of abacus”, having no legal rights whatsoever.

As such, it was not uncommon for wealthier individuals or families to have several Geeks and Nerds living in their mansions, working in cramped custom-made labs and workshops to invent amusing things for their “hosts”. Despite their abilities, Nerds and Geeks could regularly expect to have their pants pulled up over their heads, or be made to sit on their own in the lunch room.

This continued for some considerable time, until societal changes led to Geeks and Nerds being recognised as individuals, with rights and some measure of dignity. Despite this, considerable prejudice remained. Geeks and Nerds were barred from holding high-level jobs or from marrying outside their communities. They were regularly ghettoised, forced to live in unhygienic but surprisingly efficient slums. Given their marginalised position in society, Geeks and Nerds regularly fell inwards and turned on each other, leading to lasting and bloody disputes over minor details in celebrated works of science fiction.

Maybe these days the terms nerd and geek have been reclaimed and can be used affectionately, but they still stem from the terrible legacy of what the Geeks and the Nerds went through to get to this point.

When you consider all this, then Harding is right to compare geek and nerd to the most offensive of racial terms. Because if everything written above is total and utter gibberish, then Harding has effectively said that minor-to-moderate social rejection is the same as centuries of brutal exploitation and repression of an innocent people. This means that a powerful rich white man has said something extremely ridiculous and offensive, and nobody thought to correct him on this. And surely the idea that we live in a world where that can happen is even more ridiculous, right?

Right?

Dean Burnett only realised that this post is basically an elaborate version of a Stewart Lee routine after he’d finished it, but still feel free to point this out to him on Twitter, @garwboy