The end of Heidi & Seal

TMZ broke the story first. That Heidi Klum will file for divorce. The couple then announced their separation yesterday with an official statement released to PEOPLE.com that they’re ending it because they’ve “grown apart”. TMZ then followed up with a report that their split has nothing to do with infidelity, which seems to be the usual reason these days, but rather due to Seal’s mercurial moods, claiming that Heidi can no longer manage Seal’s anger. During the course of their marriage, her success has only increased. His meanwhile... to call it a plateau would be a generous characterisation.

Many thought the two were an enduring match. With their annual vow renewals and their absence from the scandal sheets, and the fact that they’re bonded by four children, this wasn’t at the top of most lists of expected splits.

But even in Hollywood, or especially in Hollywood, what happens at home sometimes isn’t so sparkly. Have you ever dated a guy with an anger problem? I have. He ended up trying to break down the door at my dorm in first year because I stopped taking his calls. It’s suffocating. It’s frightening. It’s even worse wondering when or if it will escalate. Struggling to love a person who makes you miserable is exhausting.

I’ve been trying to decide all weekend then whether or not Heidi and Seal border on Sad Smut. Thing is, as flippant a statement as this may be, Heidi and Seal have never been anywhere near the top of my list for Good Gossip. Which means I have no expert opinion on whether or not they have leveraged their surface happiness and perfection in service of their careers.

It doesn’t feel that way but then again, it’s not like I’ve been paying a lot attention. Is she super popular with the MiniVan Majority? Has she played her mommy card in exchange for viewership and ratings?

Let’s spend 5 minutes googling.

In less than 5 minutes, here’s what I’ve learned:

There was a reality show in the works about their relationship. And a line of maternity clothing. In other words, the MiniVan Majority was invited. And still...something about this seems less gratuitous than the others. Whether or not that’s because I wasn’t really paying attention is debatable. Also... I still don’t care that much. Unless of course Star Magazine tries to fabricate a way to blame Angelina Jolie.