The thin line between bullshit and cowdung

Reviewing Fanny

I always thought Indians would connect to Finding Fanny. The men, at least.

Since the time we turn 18, much of our energies, talents and thoughts are expended on chasing pussy.

Now that I have made the customary first joke so that you open the link, here’s the review.

I have been mostly ambivalent towards Homi Adajania’s films. Being Cyrus was mildly interesting, but it didn’t blow my mind or anything. Just about tickled it with a feather, probably. Cocktail was problematic on different levels.

Finding Fanny, right from the first scene, makes it clear that it isn’t going to pander to you. You have to sit through the man sitting three rows behind you slurp on his Coke and say ‘Slow hai, behenchod’.

The film takes its time picking itself up, which could either pique your interest, or leave you bored. At the risk of doing a Rajeev Masand, who has a spectacular knack for revealing important plot points, let me try to summarise the plot.

Or wait, fuck it. Why should I?

*

One look at the trailer, and you know there are interesting things in store for you. A cast of Naseeruddin Shah and Pankaj Kapur is a coup on any given day. The others – Dimple Kapadia, Deepika Padukone, and Arjun Kapoor – are merely playing catch up with the senior pro bros.

Watching Finding Fanny is a reflection of the difference between great and moderate actors. You see Dimple Kapadia act out a scene, just managing to walk the tightrope, in a laborious, onerous manner. And then Pankaj Kapur turns to her, smiles, and waltzes through his scene.

Deepika Padukone is skating on thin ice throughout the film. There are scenes where she spins around in a beautiful routine. And then there are others where her shoe is stuck in a soft patch of ice. But that could also be because I watched the Hindi version and when there is no link between lips moving and sound coming, I feel ill at ease.

What Padukone manages spot on, however, is to look smashingly pretty throughout. Which also makes you wonder, when someone is so naturally pretty, why do other directors paint her face till she looks like an Anime vamp ?

Arjun Kapoor, the actor who last gave us the heartwarming 2 States – The Story of My Two Expressions,puts in an honest effort. But there isn’t much you can do when your face doesn’t emote too much. He looks stoned all through, which might not be such a bad thing since he is [random Goan generalisation about Goa, hash, hippie, peace yo, cool brother, Boom Shiva].

*

Most of the reviews I hear from people said that the film didn’t move them enough. Which makes me wonder – are we constantly looking for films to move us? For films to shake the foundations of our emotional core in three hours? Look at our biggest hits, and most of them are epic, grandiose, larger than wife.

Finding Fanny might have its problems, but just the fact that the casting team did their work right, should give you enough reason to watch the film.

Don’t go in looking for the film to transform your life. One, it’s stupid. Two, if a three hour film can transform your life, you shouldn’t be walking into theatres. What with Arbaaz Khan directing Salman Khan in an Sohail Khan production, you might be a threat to society around you.

Finding Fanny is bold, and it is cheeky, and it expects a friend of you, not a devotee.

In a way, the film is like ordering food in a Goan shack. The cook steps out every half an hour, smokes a cigarette, and then walks back to the kitchen. When you ask him how long, he smiles.

Enjoyed reading your review more than the film … apart from the phenomenal acting by the two legends, and to a decent extent from the two lovely ladies, I did not find the film too engaging. Quirkiness is not an adequate proxy IMHO for a tight script. It tries to give the viewer a joy-ride, and to a small extent, it succeeds. Wish though that the writer had been a little more attention, too many lacunae in the screenplay for my liking.

It’s hard to take your review seriously since the first two lines which you consider ‘a customary joke’ is cruder and more demeaning than the most demeaning of b grade bhojpuri movies.

On another note.. If you ever found movies like Little miss sunshine or Nebraska interesting then Finding Fanny shouldn’t bore you even for one second. At one hour forty minutes runtime it is the crispiest and the quirkiest bollywood Movie in a long time especially if you consider the recent state of retarded scripts doing rounds in Bollywood

For somebody who calls himself Heisenberg, it’s amusing how you completely lost the point. The first line was a take on how articles publish something sleazy to get your attention. May be you should call yourself Chacha Chaudhary. On 15 Sep 2014 13:50, “Heartranjan's Blog” wrote:

” if a three hour film can transform your life, you shouldn’t be walking into theatres. What with Arbaaz Khan directing Salman Khan in an Sohail Khan production, you might be a threat to society around you.”
Bloody Brilliant! The review is your opinion and one could take it or leave it but the above summation is sociology and therefore must be taken seriously. 🙂

Hey! Hi, you are always trashing the movies i like! But its a well written piece and i agree with this part about us wanting to constantly look for moveis to move us, to shake the foundations of our beleifs, when obviously, we can do that ourselves too.
I found the movie brilliantly handling issues like loneliness and emotional masochism. Don’t you think each character is at once embracing and yet ofcourse, shunning the loneliness that surround them, because, you know, it is comfortable to be in that space?