This past weekend I spent a good deal of time in the car with Drew, on our way to or from baseball fields. (Between our family there were 6 games, 1 photo session and 1 Tryout this weekend!)

I don’t usually have that much time alone with him with little for him to do but talk to me, so I cherish those moments I do have. I remember that when I was growing up, drive time was often when the most important things were discussed. And when there was nothing important to discuss, we talked about all the things that didn’t seem important at the time but were investments in us, that showed they cared. We also listened to a lot of music and sang along loudly.

So today we do the same with our kids. But these days our songs of choice are 90’s rap. {Don’t judge.}

Some of our conversations this weekend were funny. Some were sad. Hopefully all helped build him.

Here’s a recap:

Discussion about hitting. And how you must swing the bat if you’re going to get a hit.

Requests for chicken nuggets, reminding me that he’s no longer filled by the kids meals.

Letting him know that a search team was coming this week to again look for Austin.

Letting him know that this search is focused on remains, because that’s what we can search for. And what’s likely.

Why people commit suicide, and why I don’t like using the word “commit” like it’s a crime.

How his Uncle Austin would he think he’s really cool. Especially with the long hair that Austin often sported too.

Discussion about hitting. And how you must swing the bat if you’re going to get a hit.

Update on what his coach told his team- including “most of you are weird.”

Mistakes are okay. Repeating the same mistakes over and over means you’re not learning.

Singing and dancing in the car. To 90’s rap.

Talking about the play he’s in, and how cool it’s going to be to watch him sing and act on stage.

How proud we are of the big brother he is. But also how he can relax and let us parent.

That baseball isn’t everything. But we love watching him do something he loves.

Discussion about hitting. And how you must swing the bat if you’re going to get a hit. (And how that’s true in life too)

Singing and dancing in the car. To 90’s rap.

Those are the moments that hopefully help build him as he faces life. And hopefully even helps prepare him as the searchers roll in tomorrow.

I’d tell you about Ben’s part in them- but that mostly involves jokes about eating your own eyeballs, crushing the ball (hitting), and how Bulldog Frenchie is his best friend. Not sure about that kid.

Pray for us all this week. I’m not sure any of us have enough of those building moments to make weeks like this be easy. Weeks where we don’t know quite what to hope for and quite what to fear, because they’re all one and the same.