Tag Archives: beauty

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Your wife doesn’t think she’s beautiful. How can she? The world is busy pointing out all of her flaws.

Particularly at the beginning of the year, I have noticed many women feeling insecure about their appearance. Maybe it’s a few pounds they put on during the holidays, or even if they have maintained their weight, feeling like they are not fit enough. But in general women are not as happy as men are with their appearance.

Magazines, TV shows and print ads are pointing out the tiny wrinkles and the need for more radiant skin, shinier and thicker hair, and a perfectly made up youthful face. Media accentuates and celebrates long, slender legs, tiny waists and ample, perky breasts. Fashion dictates that anything in our closets is just not trendy enough.

What does that have to do with your wife? She probably thinks more about her appearance (and her perceived flaws) much more than you realize. You may have told her she is beautiful, but she has heard 100 times more frequently through subtle messages that she is not. So when she hears you say it, she may at first not believe you. She may even argue with you.

Don’t give up. Tell her she is your one-of-a-kind woman and that in your eyes she is the most beautiful woman. Tell her what you love about her, and give her sincere compliments often. If she wears a flattering outfit, tell her she looks great. And if the clothes and the makeup and the special hairdos don’t matter to you, tell her that as well.

I’m not suggesting husbands don’t require compliments, but I’d be willing to bet men spend less energy, money, and brain power worrying about how they look.

Ladies, if your husband tells you that you’re beautiful, smile, say thank you. Know that he sees you with his own eyes and heart, and he means it. You might even start to believe it.

Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in various e-book formats here.

The famous quote in a Dostoevsky novel that “Beauty will save the world” sounds somehow superficial in today’s society. But I think it’s true. “What kind of beauty?” the characters ask, and the answer seems to be beauty in action, beauty carried out by a person.

In light of the violence, ugliness and evil that seem more prevalent in our society—although I realize they have been with us all along—my mind returns to the idea that beauty can save the world. Maybe beauty can save the family, maybe even your family.

Acts of love are some of the most beautiful and inspiring “things of beauty” that we have to offer this world. I can’t count how many times people shared the photograph of the New York City police officer last month buying shoes and socks for the homeless man who had bare feet. It was an act of kindness; this is beauty in action. We want to be touched. We want to see love in the world.

Instead of looking to our spouse and wondering, “What have you done for me lately?” it would be great if we will instead ask, “What act of beauty and love can I do for my spouse today?” You might even ask, “What act of beauty can we do together for the world today?”

These acts have transformative powers. Not only do you fill another person with love, you transform yourself into a more love-filled person.

Yes, I believe beauty can change the world.

While we don’t want to be in pursuit of materialism, physical beauty can also help transform us. When we watch the sunrise or sunset, or bring home a bouquet of flowers, when we appreciate the beauty of the human body, when we savor beautiful food, read a treasured book, or take in a beautiful work of art, we are uplifted. Even the beauty of music can change our moods almost instantly.

When we find true joy in our faith, when we find intimacy in our relationships, we find beauty.

I don’t want to list a bunch of ideas for how you can carry out acts of love, because you will see the opportunities around you each day if you are not distracted by the “noise” of life, if you are not staring at your smart phone or filling moments of quiet with TV or other media, if you are open to the idea of seeing beauty and wanting to add to it. But please try to find time and energy to bring love and beauty to those in your family, particularly your spouse.

Efficiency won’t change the world. Multitasking won’t change the world. Ever-increasing busy-ness won’t change the world. Yet, as we wrap up 2012, these are constants. When will we seek the quiet moments?

Love in action can be the beauty that saves us.

What is an act of love or a thing of beauty that has caught you in your tracks lately? For me, it has been all the people helping victims in Newtown, CT, and covering them with love.

Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in all e-book formats at www.LoriDLowe.com.