Category Archives: Misogyny

Post navigation

If I were to order anybody to do sudjud to another I would order husbands to prostrate before their wife, because of her immense rights over them.

Over and over again, we hear from muslims that the fact that there are different rights and responsibilities for men and women in islam is based on the differences between the sexes. I won’t even go into the warped logics behind such a statement, but I would like to touch upon the idiocy of some of the arguments that come to light.

I will use this post from a mufti as an example:

The religion of Islām is a practical religion that also considers nature in directing laws and obligations. Polyandry is impractical for a woman and will place unbearable burden upon her. Thus, the prohibition of polyandry for a woman is based on care and compassion for her.

How will a woman fulfill the marital demands of more than one man, his intimacy needs, his temperament, and various other challenges? When a woman with one husband experiences so many challenges, imagine the burden with more than one husband.

What will a woman in such a relationship do when she is pregnant with one man’s child? How will the child’s lineage stay secure? Consider the emotions, jealousy, etc. she will have to undergo from the other husbands.

It is clear from the above that Allah Ta’ālā’s ruling of prohibiting females to have more than one husband reflects the hikmat and wisdom of Allah and His compassion for women.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

AbdulMannan Nizami

Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, IL, USA

The religion of Islām is a practical religion that also considers nature in directing laws and obligations. Polyandry is impractical for a woman and will place unbearable burden upon her. Thus, the prohibition of polyandry for a woman is based on care and compassion for her.

If it were a woman’s nature to obey her husband, give up on half her inheritance, live polygyny, give up work, hide her face etc. she would do so without any rule forcing her! It is only when something is unnatural that we need a law and force to make it happen.

And in what way is polyandry impractical? As a matter of fact, it is highly practical! A woman gets the incomes of two males to support her children, it could solve the issue of over-population, the children of the family get two males to look up to and be protected by, and the woman gets to enjoy variety and the pleasure of two or more husbands.

How will a woman fulfill the marital demands of more than one man, his intimacy needs, his temperament, and various other challenges? When a woman with one husband experiences so many challenges, imagine the burden with more than one husband.

First of all, a woman is able to have sex as many times as she likes in a day. The same is not true for a man. So women are biologically much better suited to please several partners than men are. Men are simply inept and bound to fall short when it comes to polygamy and sex. Or how could a man fulfill the marital demands of two, or four, women who all need sex on the same day?? Nope. Men are incapable of this. Women are made for it. And this temperament issue – aren’t you contradicting your own creed? I thought this whole gender-discrimination thing was built on the claim that women are temperamental, men are rational? So of course, it is much easier for a temperamental and emotional woman to keep two or more rational and reasonable men happy, than for a rational man to keep two or more emotional and temperamental women happy! Anybody can understand that, you silly sod. As for challenges, muslims tend to defend their misogyny stating that the gender preference is because of the many challenges and the responsibility that men have to face. Now, you suddenly claim that it’s women who face challenges. So, what way do you want to go?? And as I just said, the challenges are evidently much greater for polygamous men than for polygamous women.

What will a woman in such a relationship do when she is pregnant with one man’s child? How will the child’s lineage stay secure? Consider the emotions, jealousy, etc. she will have to undergo from the other husbands.

Actually, it was perfect. I had two men supporting our family while I was pregnant. Two men who could support each other through my pregnancy. Two men who could help each other. One man who could take care of the house and keep working while the other staid at home with me once my baby was born. So – what’s the problem as you see it?? The lineage is no problem, easy peasy. DNA. The test takes 2 minutes. (One of my husbands can’t father a child any more, so for us it didn’t even take 2 minutes to work out). Any child could teach you how to take the test. Problem solved!

As for emotions and jealousy – again…YOU are the people claiming that women are emotional, men are rational. If that were true, of course men wouldn’t be jealous and emotional about sharing their wife. As it is, you guys are full of BS, and men are just as emotional. But the thing is, women are much better at empathy. We can handle emotional spouses much better than men can. So again, women are much better suited at being polygamous than men are!

It is clear from the above that Allah Ta’ālā’s ruling of prohibiting females to have more than one husband reflects the hikmat and wisdom of Allah and His compassion for women.

No. It is clear from the above that the ruling that says females should not be allowed to be polygamous is misogynistic bullshit. And if you read the quran, you’ll find that Allah actually allows polyandry. Only misogynist men have interpreted the sura their way and contradicted Allah. And come up with crap like the BS above to excuse this crime against humanity.

Every day, women come here looking for the answer to the question: “How do I get rid of my husband’s second wife”. My stats show me that this is one of the most common search-phrases people use to find this blog.

How do I get rid of my husband’s second wife?

Well, there’s really only one answer to that question:

By getting rid of your husband.

As a muslim, you can’t force your husband to divorce his other wife or wives. There is no legal way for you to make that happen, nor any religious way. You might try to coerce him into divorcing her, by making his life a living hell if he doesn’t, but since Islam always has a mechanism for protecting the right of men, of course there are ahadith and fatwas saying that it is a great sin to try and make your husband divorce his other wife/wives. So if you really are a muslim, that is not a way out.

There are women out there who try to make their husbands divorce the second wives by being the perfect wives. Women degrade themselves and beautify themselves, keep a perfect house, offer their husbands lots of exciting sex in order to make their husbands see that they don’t need any other woman. Well ladies, this is the most stupid thing you can do!! It simply proves to your husbands that polygyny is great, and that by being polygynous they can keep their wives on their toes, serving them and competing for their favour. Please, please don’t stoop to that!! It will only make your husbands go out and tell other men how great polygyny is, setting other poor women up to become victims too.

You could of course murder your husband’s second wife, but only if you’re ready to go to prison for life, or possibly be executed depending on where you live. 😉

No, honestly, the only way to get rid of his second wife is by getting rid of him. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. But there it is. If you get rid of him, she won’t ever be a part of your life again unless you want her to. She will become completely irrelevant. When he decides to marry a third wife, she will be the one to take the pain – it will have nothing to do with you. And as you get rid of him, you won’t only get rid of his second wife. You’ll also get rid of a dirty two-timing piece of shit who cares more about his dick than about your life and your marriage and your children. You’ll also get rid of the risk of getting STD:s from his other women, and you’ll get rid of spending half of the rest of your life alone as a single parent, a single woman, a woman alone in a home for the elderly.

Asking for divorce also happens to be an islamically permissible way to free yourself from him and eternal pain and misery. (You do know of course, that if you don’t divorce him, you’ll have to share him with her for all eternity. even if you get into Paradise as a true muslim…?)

By getting rid of him, and her, you’ll open a door for love, for respect and honesty from a full time husband, a full time father.

So for goodness sake, get rid of your husband’s second wife. And now you know how.

My daughter was staying over with me in London with a couple of friends the other night. They were talking about a TV show called “Bachelorette”. Obviously a young woman starts dating something like 15 men, and in each show somebody is eliminated and in the end she must choose between the final two. By that time of course, after dating and intimacy over a period of time, they all have strong feelings for each other.

My daughter and her friends were talking about a season finale. The girl was apparently deeply in love with both remaining men, and both men came to her to propose. She ended up dissing a man she had made love to, and confessed to being in love with. My daughter and her friends were all “Oh she should have kept Nick, he was much cuter and nicer, or she should have kept both. Yeah, she should have married both!!”

I’ve been browsing the net, and realize most people out there talking about this show seem to agree. They say, she should have kept both guys. And they say it because they saw that she was very much in love with both men, and they with her. I’ve even found women on a muslim web forum who say it!! And they do so intuitively, because of the romance and the love. Of course, they aren’t serious. But subconsciously, they recognize that it is not disgusting when a woman loves two men, is intimate with more than one man. No – it’s all in the packaging!

I know many friends of mine who have said the same about Love Actually, that Keira Knightley should have married both men. Because it’s so romantic….. It’s all in the packaging! It’s amazing really how islam manages to package polygyny as good, caring, moral and allowed while at the same time make polyandry out to be disgusting. And people buy into that, just like they buy into the newest fashion, or for that matter just like they bought into jews being untermensch during WWII.

I had a look at season 11 of The Bachelorette. It was fascinating. The thing that struck me the most is how the men there sound and act exactly like wives in polygamy. All the insecurities, the jealousy, the fighting over who is the favourite, while all the while having to force themselves to accept the situation with a smile, or else they’re out. So fascinating!! And perfect proof that everything muslim scholars try to deceive people into believing about the differences between men and women and our reactions to polygamy is an utter and blatant lie!!

A muslim man described himself as “75% single”. This of course is an arrogant joke, based on the fact that a muslim man might claim that he as a right to marry four wives, so if he is only married to one wife he is 75% single.

Is it funny?

When the prophet Muhammad was married to Khadija RA – do you think he would have said he was 90% single (or there abouts, since the prophet was married to a whole bunch of women)? Do you think he would have appreciated being described as 90% single when he was in a monogamous marriage? Do you think he would have considered it respectful and considerate towards his wife Khadija?

How can a muslim man who claims to be religious joke in a way that disrespects Khadija RA, Muhammad and islamic marriage?

The only answer I can come up with is: Because he doesn’t bother about islam, the prophet or the mother of the believers. Nor obviously about respecting and caring for his wife. He only cares about his “godgiven” right as a male to hoard and hurt women.

That’s what’s really brilliant about polygamy, it keeps the spouses on their toes, eager to please me, since they know they are competing for my affection. They also know that it’s harder for them to leave me, than it is for me to leave one of them since they would be all alone but I still have a happy marriage going should I choose to leave one husband for the other.

So, my husbands have learned that they must be submissive. This is what a day llooks like for a submissive husband:

WAKE UP

A submissive husband wakes up before his family, to get ready for the day ahead. He’ll get dressed first so his wife wakes up to an attractive, well-groomed husband who is calm and in control. He’ll then make sure the house is tidy and pack bags and lunches for his children and his wife

A submissive husband will prepare breakfast for his family so as they wake up they can eat a healthy and delicious meal to start the day.

At no time does he seem disorganised, rushed, or lose his temper.

His wife’s clothes for the day are washed, ironed and hung up ready for her. After breakfast, just before she leaves for work, he leaves her with a kiss and a smile, telling her to have a great day.

MORNING

Once his wife leaves for work and the children are at school a submissive husband will use his morning to run errands vital to the smooth running of the family. He’ll drop off and pick up dry cleaning, grocery shop, attend to his own needs like keeping fit for his wife and have everything done by lunch time.

A submissive husband should never grocery shop while his wife is at home with the children. He’ll make sure all errands are completed while she is at work so that when she gets home they spend that time together. Shee doesn’t need to help him with any errands or with any of the cooking and cleaning, unless she wants to. He runs the house smoothly and efficiently, leaving their time together as peaceful and as harmonious as possible.

AFTERNOON

After a quick lunch a submissive husband will spend the afternoon tidying the house and preparing for his family to return. The cleaning is done and dinner is started. If he does any work from home or charity work he will get that done in the afternoon as well.

EARLY EVENING

Once his children return home they are given snacks and do homework. All of the children’s activities and homework are completed by the time the submissive husband’s wife comes home so she can relax after a long day.

When his wife arrives home she walks into a clean house, receives a warm welcome from her husband who is happy to see her and spends some time relaxing while he finishes up dinner. During dinner a submissive husband will attend to all of his family’s needs and after dinner will clean up so his wife can spend quality time with their children.

EVENING

A submissive husband will organise for the children to go to bed each evening. His wife may wish to read them a bedtime story but he will dress them for bed, supervise baths and the brushing of teeth and ultimately tuck them in. The rest of the evening is spent with his wife. That time is spent talking, discussing issues and not fighting. The real skill of being a submissive husband is ensuring all communication with his wife is as happy and as calm as possible.

Disagreements are quickly deflated by him, not necessarily through giving in to his wife’s point of view but by being willing to do what makes her happy. He chooses to prioritise her happiness over his own and does this willingly, with no expectation from her.

BEDTIME

Sex is an experience of love and is shared as often as his wife desires. He is happy to have sex as often as she likes and will always do his best to make it an amazing experience. He should have completed a couple of massage courses, and offer to give her a full body rub whenever she pleases. Sex with a submissive husband is pretty awesome and because their relationship is harmonious, his pleasure is just as important as hers.

Each evening ends in a happy and fulfilled state with a kiss and an “I love you”.

So, you see – having multiple husbands is no problem! Quite the opposite 🙂

A lot of people who come to this blog do so after googling “How to cope in polygamy”. I get like 10 people every day who google coping with polygamy in my stats. It breaks my heart.

So here’s a post to all of you copers out there:

If you are looking for a way to cope with polygamy, that in itself proves to me that you should get the hell out of that polygamous marriage! Leave! Now!

Marriage should never be about coping.

Marriage should be about living life to the full, about love and trust, equality and happiness. Marriage should be about friendship, laughter, caring for each other, honesty, about being that one person to each other who is always there for you who is always ready to put your happiness above his or her own.

Marriage should never be about coping.

So if you came here looking for advice about how to cope with polygamy, here it is:

Don’t.

Leave, and allow yourself the opportunity to find a real marriage. A real relationship.

Don’t ever let anybody force you into believing you are worth anything less.

My first husband used to be boy-band material, a really pretty boy who turned into a very beautiful man. My second husband isn’t pretty at all, but very attractive in a more scruffy kind of way. I know that many women find them attractive.

Younger women seem to fancy my first husband. I can see how they look at him, smile, touch their hair. And he is very responsive to that, always has been. I know that he takes immense pleasure in being adored. Most women who show interest in my second husband are more of my own age. Intelligent, strong women who recognize an equal, and are attracted by that.

My two husbands?

Most of the time, I quite enjoy it when other women show interest in my husbands. The admiring look, the cute smile. I take pride in being married to attractive men. I know, my husbands feel the same way when I get appreciation from other men.

But then I read blogposts from people discussing the hijab. They say things like “My beauty is only for my spouse”, “Modesty is the best character trait”, “A pearl must be hidden so nobody will try to steal it” “I won’t stoop to being a sex-object” “We must hide that which is most precious”. And I’m starting to think, maybe they are right.

I should tell my husbands to wear niqab, see how they feel about it. They shouldn’t be out there tempting other women with their beauty. And muslim men should definitely wear niqab – since they can go off and marry other women as they please there is an ever greater necessity to keep them out of tempting sight! Don’t they feel belittled by the way women check them out?

I’m going to have a talk about his with my two gems, maybe it’s time for them to become hidden?

The Stanford Prison Experiment is a world famous, or infamous, psychology study, meant to research into how people react in a game of dominance/submission.

Ordinary, sane and well educated middle class young men volunteered and were selected for the experiment. Nine were to be prisoners, nine were guards. The guards were instructed to try and rob the prisoners of their individuality and to break them into submission using special clothing and mental force. The Experiment has been analyzed in oh so many ways, but what is obvious is that the prisoners submitted to abuse and their personalities changed into passive submission with bouts of angst and rebellion. The guards quickly grew more and more aggressive in their treatment of the “prisoners”, and they soon started to behave like their superiors, their torturers.

Islam, and islamic polygyny in particular, is simply the Stanford Prison Experiment turned into religion. One group of people are told that they are the guards, with a degree over the other group, and the other group are told that they are the wards of the Guards, that they must obey every order and that they have no right over their own bodies but must have sex whenever so ordered, and become pregnant whenever so ordered et.c. The guards are told that they are allowed to starve and beat the wards if they are disobedient. The guards and prisoners are also told that the prisoners must wear clothes that hide their “shame” (awrah) from the world, and take their identity away. In islamic polygyny, the Guards are told they can marry plural women without telling their other “wives” or asking their permission, and they are told that they can discard these women when they want, simply by uttering a couple of words. The Prisoners are told that they must submit and obey, and they can not leave if they aren’t set free by their Guards or by the Prison Council.

So – islam and islamic polygyny is nothing but a huge Stanford Prison Experiment. (SPE).

I read a blogpost the other day, where a muslim woman asked why so many men abuse polygyny. The answer is simple – these men are humans. And the SPE shows clearly exactly why muslim men abuse polygyny – because they can. Muslim men abuse women in polygyny for exactly the same reasons nazis abused jews. Muslim polygyny, the SPE, and the Holocaust are all based on the same principle – a person who believes he is above another person, the guard, the power – will abuse it. The SPE Prison Guards enjoyed being better, being above, being in power and they used it. This is exactly what muslim men are doing in polygyny. The muslim polygynists are simply nazis, or SPE Prison Guards.

Do you really think that you can tell a man “You are the head of your wife. She must obey your every order. You have a right to chastise her if she disobeys you. You have a right to strike her. She must have sex with you whenever you command. You have a right to take other women without asking her or telling her. You have a right to keep her locked up in your home. You have a right to demand she never shows her face to anybody but you. If she disobeys you, she will go to hell for it” – without seriously corrupting this man????

A Yemeni merchant decided he wanted a second wife. He was happy with his first wife and they had a beautiful girl of 5 and a fine baby boy together, but he thought he had the right and the money to get a new wife.

His wife begged him not to go through with it. She pleaded with him that he should have mercy on her and her children who needed their father, loved him. She implored him not to forsake half of their lives together and cried and prayed, but to no avail. The husband was so excited about being able to have a new, young wife that he was unable to show mercy, or remember how much he loved his wife.

The husband had found a young girl whose father was willing to give her to the merchant in exchange for a substantial mahr. The husband made sure his wife had food and everything else she and the children might need and told her he’d call every day to make sure his family was ok, and if anything happened, they could go to her parents with his permission. He said he’d be back in 8 days. And he married his new bride and they took off on their honeymoon.

They spent their honeymoon in a hotel in Aden. The husband was intoxicated by the new feeling of being allowed to be intimate with a young woman, other than his first wife. He savoured being able to fall in love with a girl, being able to have his way with her. But he remembered to phone home every evening to his weeping wife, to check on his family.

On the fourth night of the honeymoon, June 29 2015, the husband and his new woman had just returned to their hotel room after dinner when the phone rang. The husband was surprised that anybody would call so late, and he had already spoken to his wife earlier that evening, but he saw now that it was his wife calling. He became nervous, and answered the phone.

“Somebody is breaking in to the house!” he could hear his wife scream. She kept screaming and crying while the husband said he would call the police using the hotel phone so he could keep his wife on the line. While he spoke to the police who were slow in answering and even slower in understanding what he was saying and finally promising they would send a car over, eventually, he could hear a loud crash as somebody came in through the door of his home. He could hear his wife and children scream. When the police finally promised they would send somebody he could already hear his daughter being raped while his wife screamed and begged for mercy.

The husband had a dead phone in one hand, because the police hung up on him. In the other hand he had the mobile phone and without being able to do anything he could hear how three men laughed, grunted, and cheered each other on while they ravaged his daughter in front of her mother’s eyes, and how they later started to rape the mother too. The men were laughing while the little girl was screaming out for her father to help her, again and again and again. Finally, after an eternity, he heard five shots.

When the police finally arrived, they found the little boy dead, shot through the head. The mother and the little girl were dead too – they had both been shot, once through the anus, once through the head.

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” An Nisa 4:34

“Islam permits a man to marry another woman while taking care of the first if she chooses to stay with him. One can clearly see that there are many benefits which result from the allowance of polygamy.” Islamreligion.com

Now, science finally proves that polyandry is beneficial from an evolutionary point of view. Research shows that the reason why sex between two genders has remained the way humans procreate is that females must be given a choice to mate with only the best of the males. One could argue that this could equally be an argument in favour of polygyny. This is not the case. Polygyny does mean that only a selection of males can breed, since there are approximately as many women and men in the world. But it is a patriarchal system that puts the choosing in the hands of the males, which is unnatural and unfavourable, since the “wrong” males are allowed to marry. It also means that the world will be full of sexually deprived males.

Polyandry on the other hand provides all men with a wife. The wife can marry many men, but choose to have children with only one or two of her husbands – the ones that she feels will be the best fathers for her children. Thus, the most suitable males will be allowed to breed but other men will still be allowed a healthy outlet for their sexual and emotional needs.This will also mean that the risk of over population will be contained.

So, the Quran is right in restricting polygyny, while allowing unlimited polyandry.