Just in from the red-eye, am in Toronto for a week to host a party for Bacardi Breezer at This is London on Saturday night. More on that later.

Forced to endure my mother again for at least a few days. Right now I can hear her chewing in the kitchen. Am convinced it’s a Chinese thing: for anyone raised in Hong Kong it appears to be a cultural inability to eat with their mouths closed. Have tried to tell her time and again it’s ironically “low classy” of her and I did the same today. She told me it was low classy to criticise one’s mother and then remarked that I’m not aging as well as she did, blaming it on my father’s genes.

Jessica Simpson with Harley Pasternak > Jessica Simpson with Ken Paves. But still… no matter how much better she looks lately, Jessica Simpson will never be my kind of girl. The kind of girl girl"s girls can relate to. Because while she may be a girly girl, she is also a boy"s girl. A girl who lives for a boy, a girl who is validated through a boy. Full Story

The Bacardi Breezer Fashion Series hits Toronto this weekend…and I am hosting! Where: This is London, 364 Richmond St W, Toronto When: Doors Open at 10am What: Fashion Show featuring Rock & Republic, Citizens of Humanity, Seven for All Mankind, Dom Rebel, and Lady Dutch is launching its new fall lineup. Full Story

This is Ali Lohan, sister to Lindsay, youngest daughter of Dina, looking lovely in a magazine called Hairstyle Guide. Lovely…and OLD. This child is 13!!! Does she look 13 to you??? Pretty much sums up the Lohan problem, doesn’t it? Fresh outta diapers and Dina thinks they’re good to go. Full Story

She hates her mother, hates her father, hates her ex manager, hates her ex husband, and apparently now hates her cousin and constant companion Allie, who after shadowing Britney from the moment she left Promises, is now suddenly absent, replaced by the bodyguard boyfriend with the under-evolved physique and the hard-to-miss ears. Full Story

How they raise "em in Hollywood. We can debate til we’re blue in the face about paparazzi intrusion and privacy but trust me when I tell you, the paps don’t get “lucky” every day and show up miraculously to find a celebrity leaving the gym/walking her dog/shopping for groceries/playing with her kids in the park. Full Story

As reported in yesterday’s column, after her silent admission that David did indeed goose Rebecca Loos and that she chose to tough through it, am now more convinced that ever that Posh will never let him go. The Beckhams are for life, perhaps not out of passion but certainly out of pragmatism. Full Story

OK Potter fans…you were at the midnight showing, right? It was brilliant, non?

No doubt Potter will win the box office this weekend, although there’s a revolting man in drag who will take on JK Rowling a week later. Harry or Hairspray? My money on Magic.

As for Nicole Richie…not expected in court today although her lawyer is supposedly considering a plea bargain from the DA which could mean no jailtime. Drugged and driving on the wrong side of a freeway and free as a bird.

Weak.

Wednesday – am travelling tonight, prepping for the trip so blogging on the fly. Check back throughout the day.

The new Hello Canada Hello Canada chock-full of hotness. First my Leo… Leo promoting his new documentary The 11th Hour, about global warming of course, and looking FOINE. Slim and serious and sexy… yum. And that sexy beast Tom Ford. Full Story

Sweet. Since splitting up from Denise Richards, Charlie Sheen has defended himself against her preposterous and UNPROVEN allegations, lived life low key, continued to score impressive ratings on a forgettable sitcom, been nominated for several awards, and has now fallen in love and proposed to his girlfriend of over a year. Full Story

Had a taste of the Beckham W Magazine spread yesterday…now there’s more. Total loin explosion. A full frontal of them kissing – check him out. Eyes closed, grabbing her head from behind. And him mounting her backside. And that lucky bitch with her head around his groin. And get out of bed with him. Full Story