Monday, August 11, 2014

Many
tears have been shed today once hearing word of the great loss of the
great talent and human that was and remains Robin Williams.

We are all blessed by the poinent moments
of evidence, of his light on this world that can stay with us even though he
is not. I am not only sad to hear of his death, but more the
loneliness and great battle to depression and bipolar disorder he lost his life to.

Mental
illness remains such a silent killer of young and old, male and
female alike.
Soul Cancer.
Except the cure is hard and often
not easily found because the symptoms are so easily masked.
The
issues not prioritized among medical corporations, and the stigma
attached creating the ultimate handicap of things becoming easier and
better for the millions that ever day walk the road of mental
illness.

Robin Williams possessed talent and humor, until
today I had not ever heard of his battle with depression. We often
hear of celebrities that travel in and out of different rehabs for
different “Substance abuse problems”...but how often have we
heard, “So and so has entered a facility to help them gain tools or
cope with their, depression, bipolar or borderline personality
disorder," how often is it mentions WHY the person was in rehab in the
first place? So often substance abusers are self medicating something
they can not fix with out the help of trained, educated, involved
mental health professionals...and believe me finding those involved
individuals that “truly get it” are few and hard to find.

Lets talk about the Root of the 'WHY'!

I
today have read “But he was SO FUNNY”, “He SEEMED SO HAPPY!”,
“He was rich and famous, he had EVERYTHING, I just don't get it?”
Many of us Mama bears who are constantly seeking help for our hurting
and healing little people would like to think that he of all people
had access to the best, could he have gotten the help he really
needed?

This proves one thing.
Mental illness is not a
respecter of gender, religion, occupation, race or bank accounts. It
doesn’t care if you are young or old, attractive or if the whole
ugly tree fell on you. Being famous may have created more hardship,MORE judgement, because of the lack of privacy so many people in the spot light face....we forget how very human they, how very human we ALL are.

Today I spent the entire morning
speaking with and leaving messages for my children's Principle,
District Special Education Directors, Receptionists, School
Councilors and many more.
The most difficult conversation was with
one of the educators vocalizing “ Well I guess I struggle to
understand all of these so called much needed boundaries you say your
children need. I understand they have been through stuff...but
haven't we all? I mean I have watched them on the play ground and
they look SO HAPPY, like Happy, nice normal kids.”

Me
calmly, as I could feel my ears getting red, “Yes...but then again
you can't walk around a grocery store and guess who has lost a child,
is recently divorced, or dying of cancer...nope they just smile at
you while you pass them in the frozen aisle, or bump hands while
picking out bananas.

No one wears a t-shirt that says “ Hey
I feel like killing myself today.”

I am sad that Robin
Williams will be remembered for his lost battle with such a
debilitating disease.
But then again, if such an incredible man
had to leave us in such a sad dark way...
Let this also be his
legacy.
Talent and torture are not far from each-other, nor is
addiction and depression.
None of us are exempt from pain.
Trust
others with that pain, you will be surprised how much they want to
help, and understand more than you know.
Vocalize in your Dr.
Offices, with your politicians, in open conversation TALK, about the
need and importance for better mental health care.
Watch your loved
ones, listen to their words and actions.
Always remember mental
illness does not define the whole of a person,
and, happiness can
hide a multitude of pain.
Let his loss break down this wall of
stigma that serves nothing and no one....

Me, the crazy one they call Mama...

SO here's the thing....

I stink at blogging, no really I do...by the way I am dyslexic and can NOT spell worth a darn, but I write anyway.

I have the best of intentions...but life happens.

I am parenting NINE amazing kiddo's.One that is no longer safe enough to be in my home...and I mourn that, every day.This blog is about being flawed but doing the best you can do. It is about parenting some Fabulous kiddo's with some heartbreaking problems. We are just a family.A family living, laughing, crying and shaking it up as much as we can to ward off the effects of severe trauma, anxiety, depression, psychotic tendencies, suicidal ideation, addictions, bulimia, anorexia, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder,Hording, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they and we are surviving by the skin of their teeth, everyday, but we are NOT giving up.This blog is about surviving daily life with a child with type one diabetes... I am just a Mom, dedicated to MY children, dedicated to being a Forever Family, and giving some of these kids whom have never had a safe anything, a HOME: a soft place to fall.

Who this is Really for!

Sooo if you have found us and just started reading...
I am protecting my kids names out of respect. Lets be honest, if I am going to talk about their behaviors...they don't need their names out there...because it is the BEHAVIORS that are hard, it is the anger and destruction of the trauma that they experienced that needs to be named, my children are deep down good, with a whole lot of broken/nasty/ugly tossed over to disguise what is so wonderful about them.
I have six with trauma disorders. That is what is SO gosh darn HARD... they see it and are triggered some-days, by just looking into each others eyes.
MY AMAZING and sometimes ANGRY ELVES:
We have 2 bio kiddo's:

and 5, COUNT THEM F.I.V.E. Haitian Sensations .....

Our kiddo's came home 20 days after the Haitian Earthquake. Hubbie and I traveled to Haiti 10 days afterward. It has deeply changed, traumatized and effected our family in soooo many ways. So on top of some MAJOR Attachment issues, we are also all coping with PTSD, ODD, RAD, SPD and Borderline Personality Disorder....this is OUR Season of Healing.