Get Your Hands Dirty-Use Your Fingers

1. TRACE HER BODY

Pretend you’re an artist, drawing every crease of her body with your finger. “This gets her focusing on sensation,” says Marianne Brandon, author of Reclaiming Desire. Trace her lips, her soft inner thighs, the roundness of her breast. “It’s not tickling,” Brandon says. “Your fingers maintain contact with her skin, but very lightly.”

2. UP THE EXCITEMENT

During oral sex, your tongue plays a starring role, but don’t forget about your hands. “Spreading her open with your fingers makes her feel more exposed,” Brandon says. “For most women, that level of vulnerability heightens the excitement.” Alternatively, grab her hand and squeeze it: “That’s a lovely way to stay romantically connected,” Brandon adds.

3. LET HER GUIDE YOU

Watching her solo sessions can be instructive – and fun. But she may be too shy to let you observe. Your move? ask for a hands-on education. “I train my couples to use the ‘handwriting technique’, where she takes your hand and shows you how to touch her in the way that feels best,” says sex therapist Lisa Thomas.

4.ADD STIMULATION

Important stat: only about a quarter of women consistently climax from intercourse alone. So get your hands involved. In a study in the Journal of Sex Research, 71 percent of women who orgasmed during their last encounter said they combined manual stimulation and penetration. Your best position: spooning. “You have easy access to her erogenous zones,” Thomas says.