7.12.11

Accept your husband for what he is. Every human being has his strong points and shortcomings. Do not try to change him into the person you want him to be. People grow, and change over time. If he has changed, so have you. You chose him as your husband, so it goes without saying that you must accept his weaknesses. You may have an image of a perfect husband in mind when you married, but later you realize he isn't that man. So what? Are you the perfect wife? Learn to accept him with his flaws. Love him unconditionally. When you do that, appreciating him for all that he is and all that he does will come naturally to you.

From time to time, acknowledge all that he does for you. It could be as trivial as taking the garbage out everyday, or mowing the lawn. Never take your spouse for granted. Being the provider of the family, if he is the one paying the house rent and school and utility bills, do not think of it as something that he ought to be doing, just because he is the husband! Thank him for it, and if possible, take up your share of the domestic expenditure whenever you can.

It's a fact universally acknowledged that men love talking about their profession and their favorite sport. So if you are not particularly up-to-date about his job, ask him about it. Don't fake interest. Be sincere. Trust me, he will be one happy man when he realizes you really want to know all about the kind of work he does. The same goes for a sport he is crazy about. If he is glued to the TV, don't ridicule him for it. Join him to watch a game together (it can't be all that bad!) and ask him to explain you the rules if you aren't following much, and see the smile and surprise on his face!

When you talk about him with your friends, never say anything that could belittle him. This holds true even when you are having a private conversation. Do not compare him with any other man, for any reason whatsoever (it could be his work or driving skills). That can be downright insulting! How would you feel if he compares your cooking style to another female's? Not a very pleasant thought, is it? If you are with your friends and the conversation centers around husband(s), do not gossip about yours, narrating a gaffe he might have committed! Instead, praise him to the hilt. When he comes to know all the good things you said about him from a third party, his joy will know no bounds!

If you are having an argument, avoid the temptation to interrupt him just so that you can express your standpoint. That could mean you are highlighting his flaws. If at all you want to make your point of view known to him, let things cool down, and then approach the matter gently. Remember the words I am sorry. They have the potency to diffuse a volatile situation. A horde of personal problems can be sorted out, if both partners acknowledge their follies.

Keep in mind never to have a tiff if your children are present. Demeaning your husband in front of them will lead them to show disrespect toward their father, and you do not want to set this precedent. Children always ape their parents' behavior. If you respect each other, your children will follow suit.

As corny as it may sound, surprising him with flowers and little notes of I love you can go a long way in strengthening your bond. On his birthday, cook up his favorite dishes instead of eating out. Surprise him with a birthday party or plan a surprise vacation for him. These are some sure shot ways to rekindle the romance in your lives.

A touch can work wonders, so whenever you say thank you, say it with a hug, and see the effect it has!

Another important aspect is to give him his own space. You are both adults. And each one needs his/her privacy and likes to be left to themselves once in a while. Don't nag him for every small thing. If you feel he is facing some trouble, don't pester him to share it. This might just push him off further. Give it some time, and he will eventually come around.

Do not have expectations from your spouse. This puts unnecessary strain on the marriage, and when the partner doesn't meet these expectations, the love and spontaneity in a marriage can gradually begin to diminish. Instead focus on the positive traits your husband has, and you will prove that the adage Behind every successful man, there is a woman holds true. Sprinkle your married life with appreciation, and both of you will soon head toward a more fulfilling relationship.