Will Cosmetic Surgery Help?

A facelift is not the solution to the real problem at hand.

In 2010, Americans spent $10,677,415,674 on cosmetic surgery. That’s a lot of money. Apparently 84,685 of these were performed on patients 65 and older. I could probably stop writing here. These numbers seem to speak for themselves.

Let’s stipulate up front that there is a role, in fact, an important role, for cosmetic surgery. There are people who are born grossly disfigured. There are those who suffer trauma – accidents, burns – for whom cosmetic surgery is literally a life saver. When I was a teenager, my dog attacked me. It clamped onto my face and wouldn’t let go. I was cut in many places – down to the bone or the muscle. Fortunately for me, a plastic surgeon was in the emergency room and stitched me up. Because of his skill, he was able to keep the scarring minimal. So I am personally grateful to the profession.

26,635 were facelifts and 24,783 cosmetic eye lid operations were performed last year on patients 65 and up.

But we all know that there weren’t ten billion dollars worth of burn victims in 2010. And we all know that the over-65 crowd was not healing trauma wounds or dog bites. This isn’t speculation. Of the more than 84,000 procedures cited, 26,635 were facelifts and 24,783 were cosmetic eye lid operations (certainly not the result of being rushed out of a burning building).

So what do we do with this information (other than rethink our chosen professions)? I’ve heard (I have no statistical support for this) that in some circles, it is considered de rigueur for a girl to get a nose job for her 16th birthday. All those deviated septums…

I’m not going to bemoan our culture of youth. Been there, done that. And I find myself susceptible. I’m too afraid (and too broke) for any surgery (I think the Torah prohibits elective cosmetic surgery where the motivation is vanity rather than need – a complicated area requiring honesty and judgment; consult your local rabbi) but I’m not immune to the lures. I can be seduced by the promise of a really good anti-aging cream or that perfect eye serum.

I’m also not going to discuss what kind of message we are giving our adolescent daughters; that should be obvious.

I want to explore the root of this issue which I believe to be an underlying dissatisfaction with our lives coupled with the belief that this surgery, this new house, this piece of jewelry, this trip will change it. And we all know that it’s an illusion. When you wake up with your new nose, or lifted eyelids, you’re still you – with all your challenges and issues. Nothing has really changed – except for some black and blue spots and a dent in your bank balance.

In Ethics of Our Fathers, we are taught that the rich man is the one who is happy with his lot. The basic interpretation of this Mishnah is that we should be content with our level of material well-being and not constantly yearn for more. This is certainly a true point. But I think the advice of our sages is more far-reaching. We should be happy with every aspect of our lot – that we were born short and not tall, male rather than female, to this particular family with its unique set of challenges and opportunities and not to that idealized family down the street, with academic proficiency but with no musical inclinations or abilities, even with this nose.

And it continues – not just with out innate circumstances but with how our life evolves. We need to be happy with this spouse, this job, this home, this community – and these inevitable signs of aging.

The key to dissatisfaction to keep a constant list of "if only"s, or to harbor the mistaken belief that external circumstances are the key to happiness.

We need to stop staring in the mirror and start looking around us to see who needs our help.

The good news about these statistics (apparently compiled by the America Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery) is that at least one segment of the population continues to be fully employed! But the sad news is the level of dissatisfaction. It seems to reflect the level of illusion.

The reality is that only a life of purpose and meaning can lift us out of this focus on unfulfilled expectations or outright fantasy. We need to stop staring in the mirror, we need to stop behaving like adolescents who can’t see a mirror without fixing their hair, and start looking around us to see who needs our help. I don’t want to see any plastic surgeons lose their jobs but I certainly think that if we put our minds to it, we could probably find a better use for ten billion dollars. And I believe that after a day spent helping others, we will begin to find that elusive sense of satisfaction and even a taste of happiness.

About the Author

Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters in in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. She lives with her husband and nine children in Los Angeles where they both work for Aish HaTorah. When she isn''t writing for the Internet or taking care of her family, Emuna teaches classes on Judaism, organizes gourmet kosher cooking groups and hosts many Shabbos guests. She is the cofounder of www.gourmetkoshercooking.com.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 20

(18)
SusanE,
May 5, 2015 10:30 PM

I'd Have some Face work done.

If I could afford it, I would have some face work done. But, alas, it's all I can do to keep my teeth from falling out.. And that is cosmetic also. I'd love a bit less eyelid and a bit more fullness around my mouth, and some skin tightening and some neck muscles shortened. Why not? If it were for work. Or for dating. Or for competing in business then perhaps. But at 72 I can't justify the cost. Besides, I have before and after pictures using Photoshop. The changes were subtle but very nice to see. Make up can work wonders when the scapel isn't justified.

(17)
Anonymous,
February 1, 2012 3:05 PM

Even the Torah praises the appearance of youth and beauty.

none

(16)
Anonymous,
December 11, 2011 11:08 PM

I am for it

If you had healthy confidence before you will after as well. If you were insecure before you will still be after. After having three beautiful children, my stomach was 'broken' so I fixed it. I couldnt be happier and I would encourage anybody who asked me to go for it.

(15)
Sharon Langert,
December 11, 2011 4:12 AM

So true!

I really loved this article it's so very true and we all need to not just know this but really absorb and integrate this hashkafa into our lives!
Thanks,
xo
Sharon
www.fashion-isha.com

(14)
Anonymous,
December 8, 2011 11:39 PM

Does this really have to be an either/or proposition? Opting to have cosmetic surgery does not mean one is not concerned with events in the outside world. I have a weakness for cosmetics, but that does not mean I don't care about my neighbor. I am the proud owner of 6 (or maybe 7, who can remember?!) tubes of expensive lipstick. I am also the loving mother of a special needs young adult. I am too afraid (and can't afford) to have cosmetic surgery, but I don't condemn anyone else for opting to go that route. With that said, my heart goes out to you Emuna for the pain you must have endured after being bitten by your dog.

(13)
Heidi T.,
December 8, 2011 7:32 PM

Ironic?

Am I the only one who noticed the irony in some of the comments here, especially as Hanukkah approaches? Someone quoted Aristotle - a Greek philosopher. Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't the Maccabees fighting to defend Judaism against the effects of Hellenism? I believe a focus on human beauty was part of Greek culture, so wouldn't plastic surgery for purely cosmetic reasons be more in line with Greek values, not Judaic values? I'm not Jewish, so I can't say for sure, but that's what it seems like to me.
Why is looking like you're 40 *better* than looking like you're 65? Because society thinks so? Where did those values come from? Judaism? I don't think so. Again, sounds more like "Greek" values to me, which, again, was what the Maccabees were fighting against, weren't they?
Granted, how people feel about themselves is important, but I think a lot of people who replied missed the point of the article, which to me was that time and money could be better spent on other, more important things - things that are important in Judaism, and therefore, should probably be more important to Jews?

(12)
Anonymous,
December 8, 2011 3:22 PM

Let's get real!

I would love to live in a world where the spiritual essence of the other reigned supreme over the physical. The truth of the matter is that we look, we assume, we judge... all based on physical appearance. My son learns with an older Yeshiva boy (very reputable Yeshiva!) who confided in me that the better learners merit the prettiest girls for their wives! I have also had an Aish rabbi tell me that yes it is true that looks matter very much to the boys when getting matched up for marriage. So to poke fun of a girl getting her nose fixed ("All those deviated septums") is really unfair and unrealistic. Girls and women often need to put their best face forward in order to be given a chance for others to know her real inner value!

(11)
Anonymous,
December 8, 2011 2:50 PM

drawing the line

I'm sorry some comments deteriorated into "finding fault" with the medical profession.
For me, I wonder instead about where to draw the line. I am considerably older than the 45 years someone mentioned as the age over which it is harder to find a job, and I'm out there in the workplace. My hair, though mostly still dark brown, is showing more gray as the years advance. If it's considered "vain" to have elective plastic surgery, wouldn't it also be considered "vain" to dye one's hair?
If you wear a sheitl, do you change it to gray as you age? (The photo of Emuna Braverman shows a blonde woman whose age must be somewhere near my own.) I don't wear one; I wear my own hair and cover the gray with concoctions I purchase in the health food store. Am I being vain? or just keeping myself competitive in the work arena? I choose to think the latter.

Anonymous,
December 8, 2011 6:43 PM

I agree!

These observations are right on. One of the wonderful things about wearing a sheitl ( I have noticed since I don't wear one) is that it can take years off a woman's age. I was at a wedding recently where the mom looked like the bride's sister all because of her new, more youthful sheitl!

(10)
Elizabeth,
December 8, 2011 9:20 AM

You're right, cosmetic surgery is sad and wasteful

Like the author, I too had reconstructive surgery on my face following a car crash that left me, at 37, with bad scars. Thanks to the skill of the surgeon, my scars are now less visible, and I don't feel self-conscious. But it seems to me that those who have plastic surgery to look younger are in denial about their own ageing and reinforcing the stereotype that only the young can be beautiful. The face of an older man or woman who has lived many years reflects the accumulated wisdom and understanding they have (hopefully) gained. We honour our seniors by showing them the respect due to age. Beauty comes through at any age, in different ways. Trying to look younger means people are denying their own ageing, and perhaps even their faith. For didn't our G-d create us in His image? And that image is not limited to the young! Jews and Christians alike, we believe in the World to Come, and that death is not the end, so we have no reason to fear ageing, or to try to hide it.

(9)
Anonymous,
December 8, 2011 1:41 AM

I cannot believe it

Those numbers are shocking! And the age group?
This was as much of a shock as when I read about the amount of money Americans spend on their pets.

(8)
Kathy,
December 8, 2011 1:23 AM

Wasting G-d's gift

I respectfully take issue with the comment above. Those who become doctors have a special gift for healing that comes from G -d. While reimbursement systems have changed, G-d has not, and we are obligated to use our short time on Earth in a meaningful way that may include wealth but also demands tzed. One ca

(7)
Anonymous,
December 7, 2011 8:55 PM

there is a pime and place for everything

I do not believe there is a consensus that prohibits cosmetic surgery. Many girls of respected rabbis get their ears pierced. The only reason for this surgical procedure is for appearance. Most cosmetic or plastic surgeons would agree that this is not the gate way to happiness. Some folks might get cosmetic surgery to improve their ability to earn an income. Some do so for the same reason that they buy nice cloths, fix up the house, and use make up.

(6)
Chava,
December 7, 2011 6:39 PM

This is your opinion but not mine or many others

I am beginning week four post cosmetic surgery. I had a brow/face/neck lift, blepharoplasty, fat transfer and laser resurfacing. I have no underlying problems as you suggest nor am I vain. I am an observant Chabad Jew who aged after extreme stress due to the illness and tragic death of my only son last year. I did this for me, no one else. I had the blessing of my rabbi, his wife and my sweet husband of 48 years. Some women seemingly don't care how they look. They gain weight and never enhance their appearance with make-up. I weigh almost the same as I did in high school. I exercise and take very good care of the body Hashem gave me. My husband and I just gave $150 thousand toward the building of a new shul. Think I am selfish or self-centered? You're wrong. I am just a more lovely Bubbe who at 68 looks 40. Am I happy? You bet I am and would do it all over in a heartbeat. With your opinion you will continue to be whatever you are, but you have no right to judge others publicly by your standards. I applaud women who want to be as beautiful outside as they are inside. My husband is so proud of me and delighted in my new young look. He wants to buy me a new wardrobe now because so many items in my closet are outdated. I am one lucky lady and proud to have had cosmetic surgery.

(5)
Anonymous,
December 7, 2011 5:59 PM

Grateful for plastic surgeons' expertise

When in my 30s I had skin cancer near my eye, I was referred to the top Beverly Hills eye surgeon for the reconstructive surgery (100% covered by insurance). The entire process of reconstructing my face and eye was thus handled with confidence by someone who had the benefit of having done thousands of face surgeries and thus the highest level of ability to help me look normal afterwards. As I sat in the waiting room I realized I had 30 years on everyone else there, most of whom were recvoering from "having their eyes done." I could not imagine going through this surgery had it not been required by the deformity left behind from cancer removal. But if it weren't for all of their vanity surgeries, my doctor would have been still "learning" when he got to me. He actually told me that I was especially challenging because my skin was so firm (30 vs 60), but his years of expertise on all ages benefitted me tremendously, and my subsequent wedding pictures show only a happy bride rather than a mutant who couldn't open one eye at all. My grandmother in her 90s had the eyelid surgery because her skin flopped over her eye so badly she could not see -- also covered by insurance. I am grateful that there are plastic surgeons out to help us with medical problems.

(4)
Dr. E. Gaylon McCollough, MD, FACS,
December 7, 2011 5:07 PM

As a facial plastic surgeon I feel compelled to present the "other side of the story."

I have been performing cosmetic surgery for more than 39 years. During that time, I have seen thousands of patients experience an improvement in their self-esteem and see new opportunities unfold as a result.
To correct a misunderstanding of terminology, "Cosmetic Surgery" is performed solely to enhance one's appearance, whereas "Reconstructive Surgery" refers to procedures that correct birth defects and restores the body to a state that existed prior to an injury of cancer surgery.
Though politicaly incorrect, clinical research demonstrates that better-looking people tend to have acompetitive edge in the job market and in finding a life partner.
Clearly, a pleasing appearance invovles the "total package"--posture, hair style, clothing and accessories, a pleasant smile and an edifice of character.
So, whether an individual stops looking in the mirror, the world around him or her is paying attention to his or her appearance.
Thousands of years ago, Aristotle said,"A pleasing appearance is more important than any letter of introduction." It was true then, it is still true. And, if cosmetic surgery can help improve one's appearance, it's contribution should not be discounted.
Respectfully submitted,
E. Gaylon McCollough, MD FACS
Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgeon
Gulf Shores, Alabama

(3)
Rachel,
December 7, 2011 4:47 PM

It's not that simple

I am in my fifties and doing my best to retain my youthful looks (but not with cosmetic procedures; rather with healthy food, lots of water, avoidance of sun exposure). I know many people who are not working and are older, and all of them are trying to appear younger because it is VERY hard to find employment after about age 45. Employers can't ask your age, but they can certainly make appearance-based judgments based on weight, greying hair, wrinkled skin, etc. Just the facts of life in our youth-obsessed society....

(2)
Morris Abadi,
December 7, 2011 3:55 PM

Growing wiser???

It was a beautiful wedding party. We could see through the mechitzah a glimpse of the other side (!!!). And the old man say to the other old man: "Look how beautiful my wife is! " The wife, on her later sixties, wished to look like a seventeen years old student. I will not tell you what she looked like. But the other old man answered: "Shame on both of you!".

(1)
Anonymous,
December 4, 2011 1:28 PM

When my mother-in-law, a breast cancer survivor, needed to have one of her (reconstructive) implants replaced, I called 5 different plastic surgeons before I found one willing to do the surgery. The reason: they would not take insurance, because it is much more lucrative for them to restrict their practice to voluntary cosmetic surgery which is paid 100% by the patient (ie facelifts, implants for strictly cosmetic reasons, etc). Another time, I noticed a suspicious mole on my leg and called a dermatologist whose secretary told me the next available appointment was in 6 months. Suspicious, and admittedly under false pretenses, I called back the next day and told the secretary I wanted a series of botox treatments and miraculously there was an appointment available within a week.This is also why plastic surgery is such a competitive residency for med school grads (along with opthomolgy, with its LAZIK surgery and dermatology, with botox treatments): it's about money, not healing the sick. Sadly, that's what medicine is all about today.

Alan S.,
December 5, 2011 1:16 AM

Would you do something different in your own business?

Truly, medicine today is a business. The old "calling" to heal the sick and to help people, while fine, is largely supplanted by what medicine has become, and that is, an insurance business. No one I know goes into any business with the intent of minimizing their productivity or income. This is what competition is all about. Find the person/doctor that can best help you.

I want to know about the concept of "sin" due to Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge. The Christian concept of sin revolves around the fall of the man and the "original sin." Does Judaism view it the same way?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Adam and Eve were punished according to their actions. In other words, God laid down the conditions for Adam and Eve to live in the garden, provided they would not eat from the Tree of Knowledge. However, if they were to eat from that tree they would be punished by experiencing death. (If they had not eaten from the tree, they would have remained immortal.)

This sets down the basic principle in Judaism of Reward and Punishment. Basic to this is that every person has the choice of doing good or bad. When a person chooses "good" – as defined by God – he is able to draw close to God. In other words, every individual has a chance to "gain salvation" through his own actions.

My understanding of Christianity, however, is that the Original Sin has infected all of mankind to the point where individuals are incapable of achieving salvation through their own initiative. Man is "totally depraved" and therefore his only hope of salvation is through the cross.

This belief is contrary to the teachings of Judaism. From the Torah perspective, an individual does not need to rely on anyone else to atone for them. In Judaism, sins can be "erased" altogether by sincere repentance and a firm resolution never to repeat the mistakes.

For more on this, read "Their Hollow Inheritances" by Michael Drazin – www.drazin.com

Yahrtzeit of Moses in 1273 BCE (Jewish year 2488), on the same day of his birth 120 years earlier. (Consequently, "May you live to 120" has become a common Jewish blessing.) Moses was born in Egypt at a time when Pharaoh had decreed that all Jewish baby boys be drowned in the Nile River. His mother set him afloat in a reed basket, where he was -- most ironically -- discovered by Pharaoh's daughter and brought to Pharaoh's palace to be raised. When Moses matured, his heart turned to aid the Jewish people; he killed an Egyptian who was beating a Jew, and he fled to Midian where he married and had two sons. God spoke to Moses at the Burning Bush, instructing him to return to Egypt and persuade Pharaoh to "let My people go." Moses led the Jews through the ten plagues, the Exodus, and the splitting of the Red Sea. Seven weeks later, the Jews arrived at Mount Sinai and received the Torah, the only time in human history that an entire nation experienced Divine revelation. Over the next 40 years, Moses led the Jews through wanderings in the desert, and supervised construction of the Tabernacle. Moses died before being allowed to enter the promised Land of Israel. He is regarded as the greatest prophet of all time.

Lack of gratitude is at the root of discontent. In order to be consistently serene, we must master the attribute of being grateful to the Creator for all His gifts. As the Torah (Deuteronomy 26:11) states, "Rejoice with all the good the Almighty has given you." This does not negate our wanting more. But it does mean that we have a constant feeling of gratitude since as long as we are alive, we always have a list of things for which to be grateful.

[Just before Moses' death] God said to him, "This is the Land that I promised to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob" (Deuteronomy 34:4).

The Midrash says that Moses pleaded to live long enough to be able to enter the Promised Land. He surrendered his soul only after God instructed him to enter Heaven and inform the Patriarchs that the Israelites had come to their Land and that God had indeed fulfilled His promise to give the Land of Israel to their descendants. To fulfill God's will was dearer to Moses than his craving to enter the Land.

It is only natural to cling to life, and the thought of leaving this world is depressing. However, if a person develops the attitude that he lives only in order to fulfill God's will, then life and death are no longer polar opposites, because he lives to do the will of God, and when that will requires that he leave this world, he will be equally obedient.

The seventh day of Adar is the anniversary of Moses' death. He wanted to enter the Promised Land so that he could fulfill the commandments and thereby have a new opportunity to fulfill the Divine wish. He surrendered his soul willingly when he was told that there was a special commandment for him to perform, one that could only be achieved after leaving this earth.

We refer to Moses as Rabbeinu, our teacher. He not only taught us didactically, but by means of everything he did in his life - and by his death, as well.

Today I shall...

try to dedicate my life to fulfilling the will of God, so that even when that will contradicts my personal desires, I can accept it with serenity.

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