working and "missing milestones"

So I often hear folks on here and elsewhere saying that a key reason they are or want to be SAHPs is to prevent missing kids' milestones - first roll, step, etc. ////////////////////I've never ended up feeling this way w/ DD, since all her milestones seemed to happen so gradually. For example, I realize some kids just suddenly take a few steps, but DD was so gradual that one day I just said to DH, "I guess we have to say she's walking now!"////////////////////So my question is: how many parents have actually felt disappointed due to missing kids' milestones, either by working, or maybe just b/c you were at the store while DH was watching? Is the "missing milestones" idea mostly a fear related to working versus staying at home, or does it actually negatively affect people a bunch?

So I often hear folks on here and elsewhere saying that a key reason they are or want to be SAHPs is to prevent missing kids' milestones - first roll, step, etc. ////////////////////I've never ended up feeling this way w/ DD, since all her milestones seemed to happen so gradually. For example, I realize some kids just suddenly take a few steps, but DD was so gradual that one day I just said to DH, "I guess we have to say she's walking now!"////////////////////So my question is: how many parents have actually felt disappointed due to missing kids' milestones, either by working, or maybe just b/c you were at the store while DH was watching? Is the "missing milestones" idea mostly a fear related to working versus staying at home, or does it actually negatively affect people a bunch?

I agree with what you're saying. I was worried about missing milestones when I returned to work but it hasn't happened. First of all because, like you said, his milestones have all happened gradually. There was probably almost a week between the first time my son pulled a knee off the ground to crawl and when he really started crawling well. Similar thing with pulling to stand. I couldn't tell you when his first word was because he's been babbling ma-ma for months but it was just at random, and then a couple weeks ago I realized it wasn't random anymore and he was saying mama to mean me!! Secondly, because I think any daycare worker or nanny worth their salt would keep their mouth shut and not tell the parent if little Johnny took his first steps on their watch, so when the parent saw it they'd think it was the first time.

I agree with what you're saying. I was worried about missing milestones when I returned to work but it hasn't happened. First of all because, like you said, his milestones have all happened gradually. There was probably almost a week between the first time my son pulled a knee off the ground to crawl and when he really started crawling well. Similar thing with pulling to stand. I couldn't tell you when his first word was because he's been babbling ma-ma for months but it was just at random, and then a couple weeks ago I realized it wasn't random anymore and he was saying mama to mean me!! Secondly, because I think any daycare worker or nanny worth their salt would keep their mouth shut and not tell the parent if little Johnny took his first steps on their watch, so when the parent saw it they'd think it was the first time.

Totally agree on the any nanny/child care provider worth their salt comment. Glad "missed milestones" was not an issue for you either. Wonder if our kids are more typical or more rare for reaching their milestones so gradually.

Totally agree on the any nanny/child care provider worth their salt comment. Glad "missed milestones" was not an issue for you either. Wonder if our kids are more typical or more rare for reaching their milestones so gradually.

IMO you never miss them, it's not like they happen once. Once they roll over they keep doing it. It's not like the fourth or fifth time they do it is much different than the first so it's always neat to see a milestone for the first time that you see it.

IMO you never miss them, it's not like they happen once. Once they roll over they keep doing it. It's not like the fourth or fifth time they do it is much different than the first so it's always neat to see a milestone for the first time that you see it.

Milestones are really hard to pinpoint the exact time they happen. The only one I can really say exactly when it happened is when he rolled over from his tummy to his back for the first time. Things like walking and crawling happen in such minute steps, I never felt like I missed anything. When I first went back to work, it was a fear until I realized how gradual the process really is.

Milestones are really hard to pinpoint the exact time they happen. The only one I can really say exactly when it happened is when he rolled over from his tummy to his back for the first time. Things like walking and crawling happen in such minute steps, I never felt like I missed anything. When I first went back to work, it was a fear until I realized how gradual the process really is.

Our nanny was awesome about this. She would never tell me about a missed milestone, she let wen we saw it happen be the first. she sometimes would hint to my husband to look for something specific. We decided early on that for something to be counted as a first we both had to see it or hear it.

Our nanny was awesome about this. She would never tell me about a missed milestone, she let wen we saw it happen be the first. she sometimes would hint to my husband to look for something specific. We decided early on that for something to be counted as a first we both had to see it or hear it.

I've missed many things by simply being on the toilet while DH was with LO, or walking outside to get the mail or sleeping in or whatever. I don't think being a SAHM would have allowed me to see those things. I'm not sad about it. I still got to see it.

I've missed many things by simply being on the toilet while DH was with LO, or walking outside to get the mail or sleeping in or whatever. I don't think being a SAHM would have allowed me to see those things. I'm not sad about it. I still got to see it.

I must capture firsts on camera. I have been pretty successful thus far. I have no logic behind why I want pictures of the events but I do. It is really important to me. I would be devastated if I missed a milestone.

I must capture firsts on camera. I have been pretty successful thus far. I have no logic behind why I want pictures of the events but I do. It is really important to me. I would be devastated if I missed a milestone.

I would imagine too that is a sentiment normally had by first timers as well? I had a friend who was on her third kid and she would joke that when she noticed the youngest beginning to attempt walking she would pick her up and sit her back down.

I would imagine too that is a sentiment normally had by first timers as well? I had a friend who was on her third kid and she would joke that when she noticed the youngest beginning to attempt walking she would pick her up and sit her back down.

#11 You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

From:
ManicBanana

To: Pamplona

Posted: Jul-20 02:57 PM (17 of 66)

Dh and I have both missed milestones with dd and it did influence our decision for me to be a SAHM. I think circumstances affect decisions and feelings a lot of times. I missed her whole bit of learning to walk and explore, including 1st bday, and dh missed nearly her entire 1st year. It made me sad.

Dh and I have both missed milestones with dd and it did influence our decision for me to be a SAHM. I think circumstances affect decisions and feelings a lot of times. I missed her whole bit of learning to walk and explore, including 1st bday, and dh missed nearly her entire 1st year. It made me sad.

I'm a SAHM because I wanted to be there for my son since I'm only having one and we can afford it. Like other posts say, milestones like first steps, rolling over... are things that are going to continue doing so missing the very first time is not such a big deal. BUT, now that my son is 21 months old I do feel bad for DH because he is really missing a lot. Just little things that happen once and may not happen again in months or when he is older. For example, he hates kisses, hugs, being held, and almost any show of affection (he is too active so it's all a waste of time for him, and if you catch him in a moment when he is just chilling just touching him reminds him that he should be moving). So last week he was sitting on my lap watching a movie (after 5 minutes I was so shocked that he was still there that I wanted to enjoy every second before it was over). Suddenly he turned around, looked at me in the eye, said the sweetest "mama" ever and slowly got closer to me and kissed me. He hasn't done it again.

Maybe it's because he is my first and only, but I will forever thank my husband for working so hard to support us and let me be at home with DS

I'm a SAHM because I wanted to be there for my son since I'm only having one and we can afford it. Like other posts say, milestones like first steps, rolling over... are things that are going to continue doing so missing the very first time is not such a big deal. BUT, now that my son is 21 months old I do feel bad for DH because he is really missing a lot. Just little things that happen once and may not happen again in months or when he is older. For example, he hates kisses, hugs, being held, and almost any show of affection (he is too active so it's all a waste of time for him, and if you catch him in a moment when he is just chilling just touching him reminds him that he should be moving). So last week he was sitting on my lap watching a movie (after 5 minutes I was so shocked that he was still there that I wanted to enjoy every second before it was over). Suddenly he turned around, looked at me in the eye, said the sweetest "mama" ever and slowly got closer to me and kissed me. He hasn't done it again.

Maybe it's because he is my first and only, but I will forever thank my husband for working so hard to support us and let me be at home with DS

I missed my dd first steps, but that was becausee I was out having a margarita with a friend haha! Glad my dh got it on video though. However, I was not bummed, I was just so excited that she had finally started walking since she was almost 18 months! I work part-time and currently looking for full-time work. I'm glad that I mostly stayed home the first year of my dd life but I was excited when I finally went back to work.

I missed my dd first steps, but that was becausee I was out having a margarita with a friend haha! Glad my dh got it on video though. However, I was not bummed, I was just so excited that she had finally started walking since she was almost 18 months! I work part-time and currently looking for full-time work. I'm glad that I mostly stayed home the first year of my dd life but I was excited when I finally went back to work.

I don't think stay at home parents need "excuses" to do what they do. If they don't want to miss their child's first word or step then who cares? They're allowed to want to be there for everything they possibly can. People stay home and people work for different reasons. I don't think we should be so caught up in what one mom feels is a big deal to miss and what one doesn't. It's all personal.

I don't think stay at home parents need "excuses" to do what they do. If they don't want to miss their child's first word or step then who cares? They're allowed to want to be there for everything they possibly can. People stay home and people work for different reasons. I don't think we should be so caught up in what one mom feels is a big deal to miss and what one doesn't. It's all personal.

Then do you not sleep, never go to the bathroom or shower, hover over your child 24 hours a day with a camera, because guess what, otherwise you probably missed a milestone or will. Hate you are not too devastated.

Then do you not sleep, never go to the bathroom or shower, hover over your child 24 hours a day with a camera, because guess what, otherwise you probably missed a milestone or will. Hate you are not too devastated.

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