A family faced grief and new responsibilities. Au pair became a family member they needed.

Au pairs, which offer a child care service, often get sent to work abroad. These two central Pa. au pairs recall what they thought living in America would be like, compared to how it feels to them now. Submitted photos. Fourth photo credit: Sarah Bothwell.
Ty Lohr, tlohr@ydr.com

With an effortless click into an unread message, Neila Santana, a Brazilian au pair, was introduced to a tragic chapter of life for a central Pennsylvania family.

When Mary Brown lost her husband, Dave, in March 2018, she was not only juggling grief, but also the day-to-day responsibilities of taking care of two boys and the immediate transition into President of the 200-acre farm known as Brown's Orchards in southern York County.

"I can help her. She seemed like she needed the help," Santana recalls telling herself after a few exchanged emails with a former au pair of Mary's sister-in-law.

An exchange of help - Santana aiding the Browns and the experience strengthening her English - would form a family-like bond in a home that was briefly unraveled by loss.

"[It was] a terribly sad need that developed," Brown said.

Their connection is all thanks to intercultural childcare agencies that manage au pairs.

What is an au pair?

An au pair is a person from another country that lives with a host family to provide childcare services. Ideally, they're like a part of the family and tend to stay with a family for months or a year with an option to extend.

The origin of the phrase "au pair" is French and means equal or even, according to Dictionary.com. This idea of equality not only speaks to the equal exchange of work for room and board, but the inclusiveness of the au pair into the family.

While au pair programs have been around for decades, the need for flexible childcare services couldn't be more evident with redefined work weeks that stray away from traditional, full-time schedules these days.

Ask any working mom or dad about what looming thoughts they have throughout parenthood and you're bound to hear "childcare" at least once.

"[Santana] has evened the playing field. I feel like my kids get the right amount of attention. They’re always engaged by someone who loves them," Brown said.

Surprisingly, there are quite a few au pairs in the York, Harrisburg and Lancaster area.

Maria Catalina Pajarito, 25, is from Bogota, Colombia, and has been an au pair through Cultural Care Au Pair for eight months with a family in York County.

Santana, 26, is from Salvador Bahia, Brazil, and she has been with two host families, including the Browns, since she started the program through EurAuPair.

Both Santana and Pajarito sought out the au pair programs so that they could improve their English. This is the first time either of them have ever been to America.

"Being in a home with everyone speaking English all of the time, there's no way that you don't learn," Santana said.

There are au pair services available in at least 25 countries, but not everyone is eligible to become one.

What are the requirements?

For the specific au pair programs Pajarito and Santana used, a candidate has to be between the ages of 18 and 26. A potential au pair also has to be able to hold a conversation in English before they leave to the states and inevitably learn more of the language through their host family and classes.

In addition to these requirements, au pairs must undergo background checks, inquiry into their health, and have a driver's license.

According to the Cultural Care Au Pair website, "U.S. Department of state regulations require au pairs to take 6 credits at an accredited institution [throughout the] year."

Pajarito and Santana say their English has improved tremendously since they arrived in America, worked for their host families and attended classes.

Previous childcare experience is a requirement and au pairs must be willing to dedicate a certain amount of work hours per week to their host family.

Pajarito says,"This program is not [for everybody] because you have to be mindful [that] you will be living with a family and they have their own rules."

Families in search of an au pair can go through these au pair services and sift through bios to find someone they think will compliment their family's dynamic. Au pairs also have a choice in where they want to go.

“It’s a program that really only works if both sides have good hearts,” Brown said.

How much does it cost?

Depending on what form of childcare service you are comparing an au pair to, it can turn out to be a more affordable option for some families. The prices vary depending on the au pair program, but the costs could fall into the thousands annually.

For a regular au pair through EurAupair, the program fee is $8,580, the weekly au pair stipend is a little under $200 and there's an educational fee of up to $500.

With Cultural Cares, there's a $75 registration fee, a $300 processing fee, $8,795 for the program fee and there's also an education fee of up to $500. The weekly stipend for au pairs is just shy of $200.

Annually, both programs could cost over $18,000 a year.

You have to keep in mind that host families are also responsible for providing an au pair with their own room and regular meals daily.

After the au pair program

Before becoming an au pair, Pajarito was a technology teacher in Colombia. She plans to get her master's degree once she's done with the program and explore bilingual job opportunities.

Santana says she plans to go back to Brazil to her old job in marketing when her contract is up in November 2019. She hopes her knowledge of English will give her mobility to move up within the company.

Brown wrote a recommendation for Santana to be awarded EurAupair 2019's "Aupair of the Year" and she ended up winning.