7 tips to help your child succeed in a new school

As a child and adolescent psychotherapist, Katie Hurley knows all about the difficult transitions children must make when they leave one school for another. In fact, she knows all too well — because she just went through it herself with her 8-year-old daughter in September.

“She’s highly artistic and a bit of a dreamer,” said Hurley, author of the upcoming book “The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World.” “She thinks creatively and takes her time. The push for ‘efficiency’ was just too much for her little creative soul, and she needed more art in her life.”

So the Hurley family moved her into an art school, though it wasn’t a seamless transition. “While her initial reaction to the possibility of a small private school big on art and creativity was sheer enthusiasm, it wasn’t long before anxiety settled in. I was ready for it.”

Hurley’s professional expertise gave her the tools to help her daughter settle in to her new environment. Here, Hurley and other experts offer seven tips for making your child’s transition to a new school as smooth as possible.

Use a “worry list” to your advantage.

“I helped my daughter make a worry list with counterstatements to practice,” Hurley said. “Instead of, ‘I won’t have my best friend there,’ for example, we replaced it with, ‘I will always have my best friend but I can make new friends, too.’ Teaching kids to use positive counterstatements helps defuse anxious thoughts as they arise.”

“Parents can help by taking their child to visit the new school in anticipation of the change,” said Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills-based psychiatrist who treats children and families. “Go to a sporting or other event there, or simply watch from outside the gates. You can also introduce your child to someone who’s already attending the new school and can tell them what it’s like.”

Understand it from the child’s point of view.

“Your child’s coping and social skills may not be where yours are, or at the level of their classmates,” said Michael Elium, associate professor in the Gladys L. Benerd School of Education at the University of the Pacific in Stockton, Calif.

“New schools bring not only new routines but also new terminology, different viewpoints and different requirements for success. Stress is handled differently by different individuals, so don’t assume that each sibling has similar coping skills.”

Beware the ghosts of school years past.

Whether it’s a move or a graduation to a higher school level, “many children feel apprehensive toward school because of negative experiences in the past,” said Heather Bragg, a learning specialist, child advocate and author of “Learning Decoded: Understanding and Using Your Child’s Unique Learning Style to Improve Academic Performance.”

“Be sure to spend time with your child talking about these past situations, helping him process feelings and to understand that this new setting offers a chance for a fresh start.”

Be on call until they settle in.

“Being available for your child during the first couple of days is important so that you get him or her off on the right foot,” Elium noted. “Be sure to get your child to bed early enough, provide a nutritious breakfast and be sure your student has the proper materials to engage in schoolwork. Ultimately all students need to become self-managers, so teaching and reinforcing these skills explicitly are of utmost importance.”

Keep your anxiety separate.

Bragg suggests you start by asking, “How nervous you are about the transition on a scale of 1 to 10?”

“Once you assign yourself a number, ask yourself, ‘What exactly am I nervous about?’ Identify your own concerns before talking to your child about the school transition to keep them from oozing into your child’s awareness.”

See the opportunities.

“My family has moved quite a bit and our son had to transition to three different schools during elementary school,” said Rajni Shankar-Brown, an associate professor, director of education graduate programs and the Jessie Ball duPont Chair of Social Justice Education at Stetson University in DeLand, Fla.

Shankar-Brown went right to the source — her son — and asked whether he had any advice. “He shared that feeling supported and knowing that people care is significant. Moving has taught my son how to adapt and make new friends. He has also learned to ask for help when needed and not fear change, which is an inevitable part of life.”

And in case you’re wondering: The new school challenge applies to tots, too.

“My daughter started kindergarten this year and the same tips I share regarding school transitioning also apply,” Shankar-Brown added. “My tips are shared wearing my educator and mother hats.”