Homophobia fine, says world

This is a symbol of god’s everlasting love for, and necessary genocide of, the human race. NOT a symbol for bum-banditry.

Everyone has reached a consensus that homophobia is basically fine, in the wake of America’s most deadly shooting in Orlando at the weekend.

After 49 people were massacred in a gay nightclub by Omar Mateen, the world’s media agreed that Islamic, jihadi, terrorist, and radicalism were the only terms necessary for understanding the murders, and that baseline homophobia – prevalent in mainstream religions and in society more widely – wasn’t really worth mentioning.

Media analyst Professor Hamish McEyebrau said “What we need to take away from this is that religious bigotry about gender and sexuality is not a problem.

“Same for gun ownership. All these things are fine. It’s really important that we not let the emotions of a moment like this blind us to the importance of freedoms such as the right to buy automatic weapons, or the right to be psychotically offended if someone doesn’t follow the same medieval make-believe as you.

“The lesson here is that we just need to watch out for the Arabs, because they are all cunts.”

Presidential candidates Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump have each rushed forward to make statements strongly avoiding any mention of the importance of standing up to religious powerbases on issues such as the alienation and hate preached against people who do slightly different things with their front and back bottoms.

Reverend Lyle Packet of the American Church of America said “I don’t blame that Mateen fella for wanting to kill the ass-bandits; who doesn’t? I mean, even the heathen Islamis get things right sometimes.

“Similarly I am delighted he used his second amendment right to buy a shitload of things for killing people. He just had the misfortune to believe in the wrong God.

“What he should have done was just refuse to serve queers in shops, oppose federal laws protecting them, and maybe just rough them up a bit. Or maybe daub invective-filled hate-slogans on their houses and cars. But not get all terrorist about it. Plonker.”