The One and Only French Cheese Test

The One and Only French Cheese Test is designed to inform you of which pathetic French cheese you most closely resemble. Now get off that couch you ox, and get those plump fingers to work the keyboard. Test created and designed by Kabir. You worship me. You know it.

Get started with these questions...

1

Have you ever made love to a hesitant old lady in the French subway?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

I don't remember the '40s that well

Wait! I AM that old lady!

2

When you watch porn, do you doze off and think of animals?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Is fish an animal?

I like windsurfing

3

Are you mildly intolerant of infants carrying guns?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Just shoot me!

Goo goo Ga ga

4

Was Hitler a Girl?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Why helhigh there!

No, but I am

5

When drinking wine, do you often feel this inexplicable urge to prance off into the French countryside naked and sing Lenny Kravitz songs to a grazing ox?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Oh look! A Tiger!

Mommy likes Daddy

6

Whenst in church, have you ever forced yourself upon the priest in unholy ways?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Oh look vicar! No panties!

Candlesticks! Candlesticks!

7

If you had one wish, would it be to french kiss Francois Mitterand while taking a bite out of his sandwich, while Arafat looked on in a motherly fashion?

Oui

Non

My mothers French!

Perhaps

Allah curses you!

8

If you were not a French cheese, what would you like to be?

An astronaut

Gloria Vanderbilt

Two whores at the Sunday Fair

The entire cast of 'The Golden Girls'

A yak

9

Despite what people say, do you think making love to chickens is unsanitary?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Kleenex always works

Look dada! A Birdie!

10

When America invaded Iraq, were you more concerned with the rising costs of kababs?

Oui

Non

Perhaps

Crouching Ali, Hidden Abdullah

I don't eat Norwegian

11

And finally, what has your addled brain most learned from this test?

That theres no hope for humanity.

I am a monster.

I deserve to die.

You deserve to die.

Look! A salamander!

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