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Recently, there was a dust-up in the media about Hillary Clinton again. It's funny because lately the media has been leaving her alone, generally indicating that she is doing a fab job as Secretary of State. What prompted the news outlets to get all worked up when Hillary appeared in public, doing her job, without make-up? I think the public wants her to adhere to a certain standard of femaleness, and for a few days, she did what she wanted to do. Yes, I was very curious to see what she looked like without make-up and I rushed to click the link. She looked terrific. Hillary looks great with make-up, too-- either way, it doesn't really matter. She told CNN:

“I feel so relieved to be at the stage I’m at in my life right now, because you know if I want to wear my glasses I’m wearing my glasses. If I want to wear my hair back I’m pulling my hair back. You know at some point it’s just not something that deserves a lot of time and attention.”

I was amused when the media sat up and noticed what Mark Zuckerberg was wearing when Facebook went public, as well as what he was wearing when he got married. He looked great in both outfits. It appears the expectations for a certain appearance apply to both genders. For women, however, the "punishment" is harsher when we don't follow the rules. Hillary did not suffer any backlash this time, perhaps because she is well-established as a world leader. Remember the negative attention she got for what she wore when she was First Lady and when she was running for president? If she had gone without make-up then, it would have been scandalous.

There are so many rules to follow in our culture, for both women and men. But what's disturbing is that large companies like the cosmetic industry pull us into thinking we have to have what they are selling. Women spend ten billion dollars a year on cosmetics. A recent study--flawed because it was in part funded by a cosmetics company--indicates that women feel better and are thought better of in the workplace if they wear makeup. If this study has any truth, do the findings tell us in what we need to do to fit in, or do studies like this tell us what's wrong with our culture?

This rule stuff starts early with children. We need to let our kids know as soon as possible that they have choices in life, and not to listen to the drone of advertising and popular culture. Make it explicit. Tell them that they do not have to wear pink or blue, or play with dolls or trucks; if they want to do something differently, they can. If they want their future to be one without make-up, then that's a choice they can make and still be happy and successful.