Category : Memoir

Blurb

On the day that she decided to marry a widower—also a long-time friend—Betsy Graziani Fasbinder knew that she wasn’t only gaining a husband, she was inheriting a son. Unlike many stepmothers, Betsy didn’t have to struggle with an ex, or court battles, or the weekend shuffle between houses—but she did have to navigate living in the shadow of a young mother taken too soon, to honor the memory of her son’s first mother, and to become the kind of parent and partner she herself wanted to be. Over time this family would learn how love’s roots were formed in their shared losses, and how the new family love and joy they created together would become the richest kind of inheritance.

A Word from the Author

Filling Her Shoes was not originally written to be a book. When Betsy Graziani Fasbinder was about to become a mother for the first time she did what she’d always done to find understand her new endeavor: she went to the bookstore. But when all of the books either had to do with caring for babies or sharing custody with an ex, she found no information to help in her circumstances. She was marrying a widower—who happened to be a long-time friend—with a seven-year-old son, stepping into the shoes of a young mother taken too soon. There’d be no nursery to decorate. There’d be no custody battles or jealousy. There’d be no ex, just a man and a boy who had already suffered a most tragic loss and the desire to create a safe and loving family where all of them could heal together. To understand her own experiences, and since she found no help in the pages of other books, Betsy started writing about the moments of their becoming a family, and the experience of becoming a mother in the wake of loss. Filling Her Shoes is a sweet-bitter, happy ending story of grief and gratitude living side by side and the healing powers of love and family.

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Intriguing anecdotes and adventures experienced in the 67 countries visited by the author. Travelling in some of the more remote and troubled parts of the world: Lebanon, Syria, Yemen, Iran and former Soviet countries. These memoirs encompass many of the significant events of the late 20th century.

A Word from the Author

My travel memoir ‘Promise me you won’t go to Beirut’ initiated at the behest of my eleven grandchildren, relates to my experiences with Cuban revolutionaries, war-torn Beirut, the Shah’s Iran, and Portugal’s carnation revolution. My experiences in former soviet countries after the collapse of communism, and my inter-reaction with many significant events of the late 20th century.
Origin of the book’s title:
‘Prior to leaving Glasgow on this particular Middle East trip, my wife had said to me ‘Promise me you won’t go to Beirut?’
I had categorically assured her that there was absolutely no way I would risk visiting Beirut, even though it was experiencing a temporary lull in the civil war, following the invasion by the Syrian army. Now here I was in Cairo, in disgusting conditions with the tempting offer of a clean hotel where I could relax, finish my business with Habib and then continue on to Iran, the next country on my itinerary. Habib was adamant that there was no risk for me going to Lebanon, and even booked me into the Commodore Hotel the well-known wartime hotel in West Beirut where all the journalists covering the war used to stay.’
(George J. Thomas, September 2016)

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We often find ourselves daydreaming about what our futures will be like. This may be especially true if one lives in an environment most would consider less than desirable. Some are lucky to find their futures much like their childhood dreams. Others find the paths to their dreams strewn with hurdles.

Growing up, Sarah dodged her mother’s blows. She often hid in her room crying about her life. Still, she believes in her future and the happiness it can bring. In their book, When Angels Fly, authors S. Jackson and A. Raymond tell Sarah’s story – their stories. The authors use their journals to describe Sarah’s experiences of family dys-
function, strength, courage, faith, abuse, grief, and so much more. You’ll read how, like many, she attempts to escape from her mother’s abuse through marriage. And like many, she learns it is not a viable alternative. Then Sarah experiences a parent’s ultimate tragedy twice, the deaths of her sons, Joshua and Eli.

When Angels Fly is about much more than the telling of a family’s tragedy. It is also the story of finding faith after it has wavered. Most of all, it’s a story of love lost and found.

A Word from the Author

My first book happens to be a memoir. I knew I would write a book eventually back in 1990. That year was a rough one for me and my family personally, and I’ve kept journals most of my life. I had many stories to tell but I wasn’t quite ready mentally or emotionally, in going headlong into a 376 page book. When 2013 rolled around, I knew then that I was going to put words and stories from my journals into digital format. The hardest and most difficult part initially was actually going into and reading my journals from 1989 – 1990, as my first book is a Memoir. I knew my book had to be written and I knew the many messages in my book needed to be published, so that hopefully I could help others through difficult times in their lives or the lives of others they knew. The timing was right as I had left nursing in December 2012. My first book was extremely difficult since the stories were real. Some days I could write one sentence and then I was done for the day; other days I could write more. I hope to help other’s in life in a variety of settings. I want to inspire battered/abused women to have the positivity, that enables them to get out of bad life situations. I want to empower parents to be advocates for their sick child. I want to help other parents who have lost a child/children that there is hope, that faith will waver, and that this kind of loss is the “King of Loss” and to take it minute by minute, day by day, as they rewrite the life they had planned when their child was alive. I want to spread what my five year old little boy knew about Jesus and Heaven! I want to help parents and educators to know how to speak to a student who has experienced this kind of loss. Truly, unless one has been there, they really don’t know the depths of loss. Validation, encouragement, and faith is key.

WORDS FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT LOST A CHILD/ CHILDREN

Does it get any easier losing a child/ children? Somewhat…

Is it possible for a parent to be happy their child/ children are perfect in Heaven above and feel peace with that? Sure… (It took me twenty-three years for Eli and somewhat less for Joshua)

Can a parent ever “get over” losing a child/ children? No. This is the KING of loss. We can be happy that they are perfect in Heaven and sad at times when we miss them the most.

Bereaved parents are continually re-writing each day as this is the new “normal.” This won’t change. We will think of our loss when other children reach milestones such as first tooth, first steps, first words, kindergarten, holidays, best friend, graduation, prom, falling in love, first kiss, learning to drive, getting married, the list is endless.

The WORST things you can ever say to a parent who has suffered the KING of loss, ever after one, ten, twenty, or more years? “You should be over it by now,” or “Move on with life.” You see we are moving on with life, we just do it one hour or day at a time, re-writing life as we go along.

Abuse ~ all forms of abuse is a biggie. I want to help women, and some men, who are in an abusive relationships find the strength to get out before it is too late and something worse happens, such as being murdered. I want to get out the hotline numbers to call, and safe houses to go to. The cycle of abuse needs to stop, and it won’t without more people talking about the help that is out there.

(Mary Schmidt)

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