"The Time Has Come to Act."

I know what you're thinking: what is this movie, and why the hell are we talking about it?

Well, dear readers, "The Impostors" is an homage to 1930's style slapstick comedies, directed by Stanley Tucci and starring all of his very famous friends. It tells the story of two down-on-their-luck actors, Arthur and Maurice, who accidentally piss off a revered (read: "hack") Shakespearian actor. They are chased aboard a luxury ocean liner where they disguise themselves as stewards to avoid their pursuer, and untangle themselves from several subplots that threaten the lives of every person on board.

It's GOOFY and I LOVE it.

Now this film might not pique your interest - it got mixed reviews at Cannes when it premiered in 1998 - but there's a certain pocket of you who love stuff like this. Films that not only make you think about the human condition, that make you think about the nature of entertainment, but also set out to genuinely ENTERTAIN its audience. Above everything else, this film sets out to give its audience a good time. And I think it succeeds.

Still around? Pop a bottle of champagne and join us as we look at this refreshing passion project. Be forewarned - the drinking game accompanying this review is none too shabby either.

"The Im-plasterd-s": The Rules

We did uncork a bottle of (cheap) champagne for this, but I also supplied a couple bottles of grocery store "wine product". That stuff you see that has half the alcohol content of real wine, like glorified fruit juice? I thought it was appropriate.

Needless to say, it is still sitting on my kitchen counter.

Easy Mode:1. Drink for title drops. That's every time someone says the word "Imposter" or "Imposters".2. Drink when they drink.3. Drink for Daddy Issues.4. Drink when the film gives you a title card to open a scene. You know, silent movie style.5. Drink when someone pretends to be someone else / drink for the act of "performance". Ah, but what does it mean to perform? We'll discuss.

Medium ModeAll the above rules apply. Also...1. Drink when you see someone smoking. It's the 1930's, remember.2. Drink when you see someone with a weapon. Improvised weapons count, but only if they're used.

Hard ModeAll the above rules apply. Also...1. Drink when you see someone running.2. Drink when Arthur and Maurice mutter things to each other.

All the World's a Stage

The first twenty minutes or so of this movie is one of the funniest bits of film I've seen, and it's all based around Arthur and Maurice (Stanley Tucci and Oliver Platt) trying to put their acting skills to profitable use. They stage a knife fight in the middle of Central Park, they attend an audition for a play that loses its funding in the middle of their scene, and they attempt to scam an elderly baker into giving them free cream puffs. Right away, we're encouraged to trust and encourage two people who would rather spend every waking moment pretending to be someone else than get a different job, even though they are literally starving without one.

"But they won't beg." -Bride of Buggerlas

We are then given a more successful actor to compare our two heroes to: the deeply unhappy and supremely untalented Sir Jeremy Burtrom (Alfred Molina), who moans (and drinks) his way through a performance of "Hamlet" that is stunning in its maudlin grotesquery. We are meant to disdain him even further when he stops the play and addresses the audience directly, as himself, to say that he can't go on ("The show must go on, asshole!" Dijan deNero promptly shouted at the screen). We are meant to deride this man, as our heroes do, because he can't keep up the pretense.

By the time our main characters wind up on the ocean liner, all semblance of "reality" has been thrown out the window. The characters that pepper the cruise are stark, bold archetypes, made even more cartoonish because they're mostly played by famous people. The setting is transferred from New York exteriors to what is clearly a sound stage meant to look like a ship. As Pooh Daddy points out, they never attempt to cover up the fact that they aren't actually on a boat. Moreover, it's gradually revealed that most of the characters are either disguised as other people, or struggling with the masks they've created for themselves for everyday use (the crooner Happy Franks, for example, can't keep up his smooth Sinatra-esque persona now that he's divorced, heartbroken and suicidal).

This is a movie about artifice, but not just the stage artifice that we're used to as audience members watching movies. It's also about the masks we wear as we go about our business in the world, from the more overt performances to the tiny expressions we adopt for any situation that might arise. According to "The Impostors", EVERYONE is an actor.

"That's the face I make when I walk down the street!" -Dame Poppy Middleton

All About that Busch

Everyone and their mother is in this film, a fact that lends to its charm. It feels like Stanley Tucci literally just called up his favorite people in Hollywood and told them "Hey, I'm shooting a 1930's style farce and you're going to be in it," which sounds like the BEST call to get. All the actors are having a great time, even the ones who are playing characters who are downright depressed.

Enter Steve Buschemi.

You get to hear him sing AND cry in this film!

This is not the first film starring Buscemi that we've reviewed on this site, and it won't be the last, but it's interesting to me that every time we see him we have to constantly talk about how attractive we find him. Like, that's the bulk of the conversation. Even when he's doing things like, say, attempting suicide over and over again on screen (this seems to indicate that part of Buscemi's sex appeal lies how pathetic he's made to seem). It's almost like we're trying to pull him out of whatever horrible situation he's found himself in and reassure him that we would jump his bones if given the chance.

"I would sleep with Steve Buscemi." -Shirley Whiskas

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, it seems odd to me that our first instinct with this smart, clever, talented actor is to talk about how fuckable he is. And it's not like we're talking about a Hemsworth or anything; Buscemi is many things, but classically handsome is not one of them. The source of this attraction seems to be a combination of a stereotypically feminine, nurturing desire to protect him (see above) and the fact that he's a genuinely good guy and this radiates through every performance he gives, even when he's playing a complete asshole. His aura, his very being is so overpowering that we're forced to contend with the fact that yes, if we had the opportunity, Buscemi would be in our bedrooms right now waiting for us to finish writing so he could do things to us. But that is not all of him. I'm getting this all out now so when we talk about Buscemi in the future, we can talk about his acting, which is stunning and often artful.

(As a side note, Steve, if you're reading this somehow, you came into a bar I was working at once and left pretty quickly because you were just too famous and cool to have drinks there with your friends unnoticed, and I want to apologize on behalf of every stupid person there. You're great. Keep making art and being awesome.)

Buscemi isn't the only one who gives a stand-out performance in this film. Folks like Tony Shalhoub, Allison Janney and frickin Isabella Rossellini will have you laughing your head off. We also had a soft spot for Matt McGrath as the sweet-tempered Detective Marco, a man who wouldn't hurt a fly who is charged with killing Arthur and Maurice.

This is where Dame Poppy taught me about the term "cinnamon roll" when referring to a naive man who is too good for this world. And yeah, that's right. Detective Marco is a sweet, delicious cinnamon roll.

That would make Steve Buscemi a...a raisin muffin? No, wait, give me some time, I can come up with a better one...

But Seriously, Watch This Movie

Tony Shalhoub plays Voltri, a steward on the luxury liner Arthur and Maurice find themselves on, one who is secretly an international terrorist from some vaguely Eastern European location. He plans to blow up the ship and kill everyone on it in order to murder the last of his country's aristocracy (who's hiding out on board) and to defy the capitalist pigs who have aided her. Our heroes find out about this scheme and endeavor to stop him.

How do they do that? Maurice finds himself trapped under Voltri's bed as he contacts his superiors. He can't understand what he's saying, but luckily Voltri's words have subtitles - subtitles that Maurice can read reflected in the mirror underneath the bed.

"Okay, this movie won me over." - Velma Jinkies

It's both a blessing and a curse that I can't find any footage of this film online, a blessing because I want people to see it, a curse because now I'm forced to describe the film instead of letting it speak for itself. And with only words to back it up, that's a tough thing to do. So much of this film's humor is visual, residing either in sight gags, slapstick or mere throwbacks to the decade it's paying homage to. Part of the reason I'm having such a hard time, also, is because we spent most of the time during our playtest WATCHING the movie (when we weren't drinking). That rarely happens, that we find what we're looking at so entertaining that we forget to talk about it.

Maybe that's why it didn't achieve more than a tiny cult following. There's not much to say about it other than it does its job well. It ENTERTAINS. It reminds its audience why we watch films in the first place, and it reaffirms the primary job of an actor: to tell a good story.

So all I can really say is watch it, watch it, even if you aren't wild about it you'll have fun. Watch it.

This is Tucci's "ecstatic" face.

The Results

"The Impostors" is a delightful modern farce, and the accompanying drinking game does not disappoint. We were high on champagne by about halfway through. If you want to tinker with the rules, here's some extra ones.

Drink whenever someone says something in a different language.Some of the languages in this film are just plain made up, but it's still a rather cosmopolitan cast. Snatches of French, German and Italian can all be heard, sometimes all three in the same scene.

Drink when someone sings."Songs about sex are so much less creepy when they're sung like this," Some Guy said after a rousing rendition of "I Get Ideas" finished playing. I agree.

Drink for actor in-jokes.You don't have to be an actor to like this film. But it helps.

That face you make when you watch the person who got the part you auditioned for.

It's summer now, so I'm going to start reviewing all the new, shiny summer blockbusters! For our in-depth review next time, though, we'll take a look at a recent film that skewered the idea of a "Superhero" movie and sparked some controversy along the way.

Yes, I think I will.

Like what you see? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, at For Your Inebriation and @KrissyPappau respectively. You'll get weekly updates, behind the scenes drunk talk, and other chatter!

For Your Inebriation is written by Krissy Pappau (Hollis Beck). All "The Impostors" images are owned by Fox Searchlight Pictures.