Despite all the warnings not to, I really regret never asking about... certain things.

I know it doesn't really matter as much as it used to, not like it ever really did-- but it's a bit of a tease-- being Scholar with a default "Good" rating. It's been that way for a really long time, years even. At first I thought, "Oh yes. I am close now." -- yet it never happened. What a strange kind of limbo I am trapped in. I'd be happy if I could just know how close I am to finally becoming a super saiyanSage.

I don't really expect it to happen. I mean, it's fitting. I am still the loathsome, unlikable and unsavory single guy who *********** to anime-- just now I'm grown up a bit, married with children, and completely desensitized to "anime" in such a way that it no longer registers in my brain as erogenous.

I still say a lot of really dumb things, but if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to give him a hard time for it, is it still dumb? I'm going to say "yes." Yes, it is. --because stupid is as stupid does. That's what my momma always said. "I can't sit normally in this chair without losing about 40% of my reasoning ability." he cried loudly with propane, and propane accessories. Clean and efficient, like robots-- DD free with no strings attached, that one. I can't tell you how many times I shucked that shoopuff. Howdy. There's only so many licks before the crispity crunchity butter fingery butter fingering center of the lollipop guild's very own Colonel Sanders. That's why we're here, you know-- because hold the line. Shrimpin ain't easy, but someone's going to get you look out! Oh, sacred cow, give me the strength to pasteurize thy milk and butterize thy holy toast. In the name of the plumber, get hooked on the brothers- the brothers- the brothers! Can you not? There are plenty of alternatives just waiting for you to just stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself. I occasionally enjoy Chinese food. This one time at sad camp, this guy came into our castle and totally snooged all over our nice new banana raincoat wearing ***** god I can't stand her they turned her into a loli she's supposed to be a ******* news anchor or something what were they thinking!? I swear if I hear one more complaint about post dramatic shock stinking up the car again I'm going to eat that taco I found in the parking lot again. It's ok though because I used protection, kind of. It doesn't matter anyway. --not with the way the Canadian government is handling our frick frack snick snacks. It's certainly not getting any clumsier in Detroit's whether mixing machine lately tralala~🎵 my ding-ding dong~🎵 may we meet again someday I dare not say hey is for horses Eddy stop don't you realize you're hurting me?

Playing online games with stepdaughters tends to open a whole new world of possibilities. Whereas to me, an MMO is a lot like a job-- motivation comes from becoming stronger and richer. For my daughters, fun comes from simpler places. They made this happen today, so I recorded it. I thought they were both going to die laughing.

So yeah, this week's episode of Kuwoobie's Modern Life: I now have a homeless woman and her one-year old baby living in my apartment for an undetermined amount of time while her baby-daddy is in jail for probably the rest of forever.

Also: I gave away my Minecraft server. It wasn't making money anymore and the thought of actually logging in and being on the game itself has become akin to some cruel and unusual punishment.

So yeah, this week's episode of Kuwoobie's Modern Life: I now have a homeless woman and her one-year old baby living in my apartment for an undetermined amount of time while her baby-daddy is in jail for probably the rest of forever.

Dr. Drew wrote:

Too much chaos in your life

Seriously though. It can be hard because the natural instinct is to help people out, but at some point, you have to separate yourself from people with chaotic lives, or your own life will be eternally chaotic, and likely result in a downward spiral. Unless you're like related to this person (or, I suppose, a really really close friend, which begs the question: why?), how does she end up in your apartment?

The homeless woman is my wife's best friend who got evicted (lost her job and could not pay rent) from her home the very same day her boyfriend gets put in jail for breaking his probation he had only two weeks left of. Someone accused him of having a gun, and apparently that's all it took for him to get locked up in Sharps for five weeks.

Basically, I cooked bacon and eggs and pancakes for two extra mouths for a few weeks while her and the baby slept on our couch. The boyfriend got out and we told her we didn't want him here too-- that and her baby is an unholy shrieking terror-- so they all left to stay with the boyfriend's grandparents.

Chaotic? Yeah, sure. It's the kind of life I'm used to though. It's nothing compared to the kind of chaos I grew up in.

Oh. Ok. The way you wrote it originally made it seem like this was someone who as homeless when you met them (or had been homeless for some time), as opposed to someone who was already a close friend who just lost their home. Hence, my questioning of it. Thought you were like picking up strays or something.

When the forums eventually die, I'm hoping someone will paste the last 2 years into a Word document and send it to the very top of the ZAM chain. That way, the next time someone up there decides to act on a massive aneurysm, they'll be able to print out this case and closely study how not to do it.

Also, when trying to report a private message as spam, the automated report system wants me to send a message to Kaolian. Not sure how to react to that.

Edited, Apr 21st 2016 4:39pm by Mazra

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Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.

Been playing Vanilla WoW on a dirty private server since I keep hearing so much praise for it. Got to say-- I *LOVE* playing PvP before the existence of PvP resilience. I also love how everything is relevant. There is no sedimentary "old" content because it's all fresh. There is no skimming over 90 levels of **** just to level up. There is no dungeon or raid finder there to just casually throw you together with random strangers on other ******* servers. There are no guild perks or SGI ********** guilds are guilds and people actually talk to each other. Since the population is fairly low, it'll be relatively easy for me to get High Warlord due to lack of competition.

Been playing Vanilla WoW on a dirty private server since I keep hearing so much praise for it.

Mark Kern(a project lead on Vanilla WoW and all around cool bro) will be speaking with Blizz about vanilla servers in some capacity in a couple weeks. A lot of us are hoping it'll result in an official vanilla server being opened up sometime in the nearish future.

Got a voicemail yesterday from someone claiming to be from the DEA asking for a guy named "John Moon" saying they were going to get a warrent to "search the premises." I gotta say, it sounded pretty legit, but because I've never heard of this John Moon character I'm not worried about it. My first thought was maybe the homeless woman who was staying with us for a while stashed some drugs here or something, given she's been in trouble with the DEA before (big time), but now I'm pretty sure if I call the number back they'll be trying to get my personal information and credit card number or something. Joke would be on him.

I'm going to listen to the message again real fast and transcribe what I'm hearing:

"Ah, this is a message for Mr. Moon. John. Mr. Moon this is agent Gonzalez, I'm with the DEA, Drug Enforcement Administration-- US Department of Justice. We need to ask you a few q-questions regarding a criminal investigation we are conducting involving narcotics. So please try to give us a call back as soon as you can. Otherwise we are going to issue out a warrant to search your property also an arrest warrent against you(?). The number you can reach us: 954 693 -5159 ask for Agent Gonzalez extension 3210. Thank you Mr. Moon and we are going to be expecting a call from you. Bye!"

It's pretty funny. Oh how I wish I was creative enough to come up with some way to **** with them.

I googled the number and apparently it links to AETNA's mail order prescription service, or someone who is claiming to be such. Some people are reporting that these people have obtained Aetna information on them, so if your number is associated with an Aetna account, then that's likely how they got your info.

I'm planning on having a "Watch Kuwoobie Die: Live" event as suggested to me by Barkingturtle several years ago. I think it would be an appropriate way to leave the forum and say goodbye to all my online friends. I have a webcam, but don't have the money or means to acquire a firearm. I'm looking at shotguns online and I'm seeing $600 minimum. I bet I could make a small fortune on Kickstarter with this, though.

I'm planning on having a "Watch Kuwoobie Die: Live" event as suggested to me by Barkingturtle several years ago. I think it would be an appropriate way to leave the forum and say goodbye to all my online friends. I have a webcam, but don't have the money or means to acquire a firearm. I'm looking at shotguns online and I'm seeing $600 minimum. I bet I could make a small fortune on Kickstarter with this, though.

Kickstarter expects you to deliver a product, if you just need money you should use GoFundMe. You should also use Nerf weapons instead, they're cheaper and provides longer entertainment for your viewers.

I'm planning on having a "Watch Kuwoobie Die: Live" event as suggested to me by Barkingturtle several years ago. I think it would be an appropriate way to leave the forum and say goodbye to all my online friends. I have a webcam, but don't have the money or means to acquire a firearm. I'm looking at shotguns online and I'm seeing $600 minimum. I bet I could make a small fortune on Kickstarter with this, though.

If you're planning to die anyway, why do you need money? Just steal the ****. What are they gonna do, shoot you?

I just thought it would be a fun and interesting way to go out. It's something I've been struggling with since as long as I can remember, and something I've talked about on here a lot as well. It always felt so distant before-- like something that might happen eventually, but lately it's starting to feel a lot closer. Whenever it got this close, there was always something that would happen to distract me and bring me back away from the edge so to speak-- almost like on cue. It's always pure dumb luck. But I think now the pool of unlikely events has exhausted. The only thing that is really stopping me now is the lack of suitable means.

It's funny-- advocates of the NRA and lax gun laws will say if someone wanted to die badly enough, they'd find some way to do it with or without a gun. I can say now with 100% certainty that this is just not true at all. I have imagined and researched countless other methods for suicide and they all seem pretty brutal and have a high potential for failure. I might consider them if ever I felt pressured to for some reason, but nothing like that ever happens. That's just the thing though. Nothing particularly bad happens, just like nothing particularly good happens. I live in a state of constant neutrality and relative comfort that is keeping me alive, but also completely miserable. It really is like some invisible hand is at work keeping everything in perfect balance and forcing everything to keep going somehow.

I realize no one here cares. As per usual, I write for selfish reasons. I write to organize my thoughts and clarify things to myself. I don't expect anyone to actually read what I say or respond with anything meaningful-- so please spare the cliches about getting help, etc.

I am well beyond the reach of any "help." I have been thinking about it a lot, and I now realize that even if I had the means and money of other people, it would not change anything. I keep thinking about the world and how everything works-- about people and how they react.

The best way I can describe what this is like is how it feels when you've beaten an RPG and completed all the side quests and minigames to 100% and there is literally nothing left to be done, but you keep playing anyway because you don't have any other games and you just have to desperately keep trying to find a way to entertain yourself with essentially nothing. I used to paraphrase Full Metal Jacket: "I am in a world... of ****." Well, it's actually probably pretty great for most people. It's just not for me. By that, I mean it's not *for* me. It's like being stuck in the wrong genre. It's great for people who enjoy pursuing small amounts of personal wealth through grinding menial tasks for the purpose of collecting trinkets and trophies and various novelties to fill their life with. It's surely fun and fulfilling for the majority of people to pretend to be climbing some great social ladder, making more money, buying more things. For me, it just isn't. My wife's family think I'm lazy and stupid for not having a job. The reality is I don't care to subject myself to filling out psych evaluations on every application, peeing into cups and being interviewed by some mindless animal to determine my worth as an individual only to find I'm simply not "aligned to their needs" and inevitably end up in a job that amounts to standing in place for eight hours a day repeating the same basic motion over and over for some small biweekly reward in a currency that has no real value to me. It's not for me.

Despite this, I'm going to start looking for another job soon. I'm going to shave off all my hair and smile and pretend to be a good upstanding Christian and functioning member of their society-- just long enough for me to acquire the means to escape.

So yeah, this week's episode of Kuwoobie's Modern Life: I now have a homeless woman and her one-year old baby living in my apartment for an undetermined amount of time while her baby-daddy is in jail for probably the rest of forever.

I (well my then-wife and I) did that in...1995?(ish?). She turned out to be crazier than a sh*t-house rat. Good times.

Kuwoobie wrote:

I realize no one here cares.

Actually, yeah, some of us do.

I was quite suicidal in January of 2007. I had a decent job (Safeway...loook fooor the Union laaaabel!!) but lost my residence (through no fault of my own). No money saved to get a new place. Nowhere to go. Did I mention this was January? In South Dakota? When is was friggin' -25F? Because it was. A combination of hopelessness and a bi-polar brain had me in a state of mind that I was of no use to myself or anyone else.

On the way to my planned extinction event site, I let the rational side of my head think for a second and checked myself into the local nut-hospital and was placed on a 3 day hold for evaluation.

Long story short, I was able to go to the very homeless shelter I currently work in. Within three months (still working at Safeway) I was taken aside by the guy who ran the place and was told in no uncertain terms that joining the team at the shelter was (nerd paraphrasing incoming) my "first, best destiny".

I've been here ever since (not living there, man...working there). Find something worthwhile to you and do that. Even if you start as a volunteer, do it. Get out of your own head and do something for someone else.

It saved my life (no joke) twice.

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Jophiel wrote:

Last week, I saw a guy with an eyepatch and a gold monocle and pointed him out to Flea as one of the most awesome things I've seen, ever. If I had an eyepatch and a gold monocle, I'd always dress up as Mr. Peanut but with a hook hand and a parrot.

I'm starting to figure out the real importance of having good support as adc. The game before this one I was being told I sucked because my support was fucking Rammus, by Rammus. I now realize there must be a way for each lane to get super fed like this. For me, it's having a support like Tahm Kench, Thresh, or Blitzcrank. Every successful pull from Blitzcrank is a guaranteed kill, even early on. He pulls. I put down gator traps in their path of retreat. They die. Repeat until fed and become unstoppable for the rest of the game.

Last week, I saw a guy with an eyepatch and a gold monocle and pointed him out to Flea as one of the most awesome things I've seen, ever. If I had an eyepatch and a gold monocle, I'd always dress up as Mr. Peanut but with a hook hand and a parrot.

Looks like on October 9th I'll be taking my first trip to Asia. First to China for a day, then the remainder of the week somewhere in Japan. It's work related thoug, so not likely be able to go much of anywhere beyond certain places.

I'm sure Sogoro will bend whatever direction it takes to hook up with you.

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Jophiel wrote:

Last week, I saw a guy with an eyepatch and a gold monocle and pointed him out to Flea as one of the most awesome things I've seen, ever. If I had an eyepatch and a gold monocle, I'd always dress up as Mr. Peanut but with a hook hand and a parrot.

Looks like on October 9th I'll be taking my first trip to Asia. First to China for a day, then the remainder of the week somewhere in Japan. It's work related thoug, so not likely be able to go much of anywhere beyond certain places.

I live 10 minutes from Sky Tree and the Kaminarimon(Lightning Gate), if you have time and want me to show you some of the places I know in Tokyo I'm free on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays during the time you'll be here. If you don't have time to hang out then definitely try visiting Shinjuku and go to the Metropolitan Government Building. They have free observatory at the top of the tower. Good place to see Tokyo from above for free. Sky Tree and Tokyo Tower are quite expensive to go up.

Friar Bijou wrote:

I'm sure Sogoro will bend whatever direction it takes to hook up with you.

Looks like the place is relatively close to Akihabara. I don't know details about how long I'll be staying or what my schedule is like though. Sounds like the Japanese company wants to some off some R&D facilities they own. I have no idea what city in China I'll be headed to. While I'm interested in Japan, I can't say I'm as interested in the China part.

Last time I went to another country for an industrial tour, it was to Italy, left on a Saturday night, got there Sunday morning, then left Wednesday morning. They tend to be very short and focused events. The host brought us to a nice little cathedral on a big hill, and we drove over toward the Venice area. Had a few meals. Saw people sitting down at a nice restaurant, nice suits and dresses, and eating pizza.

I've been here ever since (not living there, man...working there). Find something worthwhile to you and do that. Even if you start as a volunteer, do it. Get out of your own head and do something for someone else.

I was in the shower just now, and I thought about this.

It occurred to me that I'm never happy unless I'm making someone else happy, or helping someone else in some way or another. --whether it be something like helping them to move furniture, or writing a paper. When I was running my server, it was a thousand times easier for me to help someone else with theirs than it was to work on my own, for myself, even when they were the competition. It was also on the server that I realized: The best of times are when I'm talking to people, offering the best advice I can, and helping them work out the problems they're having by helping them see things from different angles.

I touched on this a bit in a thread I made about two years ago regarding an online friend I had become particularly connected with. That thread had become a back and forth argument over whether or not it was appropriate considering my friend's age, who was 11 at the time (and yes, I still talk to her.) At the time I thought perhaps I could not relate to people my own age, and some suggested I seek out jobs working with children. Then came Pokemon Go, and suddenly I found myself completely surrounded by literally hundreds of adults with similar with similar interests and mindsets to my own, not a single one more than a year or two younger than myself-- of which I would have never known existed without the game. I was never interested in working with kids, but because of the individual, my friend Red-- it became an issue of age. In reality, she could have been 24, or 37, or 115 when I met her, and the outcome would have been the same, only less dramatic and awkward. Talking to her, and helping her come to terms with her many life problems, and being there for her where there is no one else, making her laugh-- it is my greatest happiness. I feel validated. I feel needed.

Now I find myself in the midst of one of many occasional periods where I am not needed so much, and in her absence, I have had time to think about all of this. I have befriended other people, adults, via the local Pokemon Go community. --and I have found myself interacting with them in very much the same way. We will go out raiding gyms around town, or play League of Legends online together, and they will talk to me about their personal problems, and I do my best to help them. I don't feel needed by them nearly as much as I do with Red, but it's something.

So now I'm thinking, maybe I should pursue an education in psychology. Then I can help people more effectively, and on a professional level, and make a meaningful career out of it. I don't know where I'll go from there, exactly.

My advice would be to get a degree in Social Work with minors in Psychology and/or Sociology.

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Jophiel wrote:

Last week, I saw a guy with an eyepatch and a gold monocle and pointed him out to Flea as one of the most awesome things I've seen, ever. If I had an eyepatch and a gold monocle, I'd always dress up as Mr. Peanut but with a hook hand and a parrot.

My advice would be to get a degree in Social Work with minors in Psychology and/or Sociology.

Doesn't that mostly lead to government jobs, where you're barely helping anyone due to the massive bureaucracy? And often, actually f'n them over.

Go get a job at some place like Habitat for Humanity or another charity. Or do you need the above degree for those?

Speaking only from my workplace (a 5013c NGO) I can do my job without a degree, but to be a councilor I'd need a degree. Because nine years of actual counseling and doing the real work isn't enough to get a title and a pay raise.

So, yeah; if you just want to work in a "social work" environment you don't need a degree. If you want the real money, you'd better get one.

Bear in mind i work at a homeless shelter. I don't think I could work in a soul-crushing bureaucratic environment like, for instance, the food stamp office.

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Jophiel wrote:

Last week, I saw a guy with an eyepatch and a gold monocle and pointed him out to Flea as one of the most awesome things I've seen, ever. If I had an eyepatch and a gold monocle, I'd always dress up as Mr. Peanut but with a hook hand and a parrot.

I'm starting at University of Florida next Spring. Never dreamed I'd be a Gator. My plan is to get a decent job with a bachelors degree, then use that help pay to get my masters, then doctorate. I wish I could have started with all of this 12 years ago when I was graduating high school...