9 Things You Need To Know Before You F#CK in the CAR – READ ALL 9

While you may think of having sex in a car as something that only teenagers do because they often don’t really have any other options, it’s not like they get to corner the market on it. Honestly, even if you have a place to go where mom and dad don’t reside, it doesn’t mean that car sex should suddenly be stripped from your repertoire of places to get it on with your partner. Having sex in the car is always fun, no matter your age. And if you’ve never done it, then you should put it on your list.

Everyone should have sex in a car at least once, the same way everyone should have sex in the ocean, in an airplane bathroom, and in an elevator at least once. Studies have found that when it comes to the most common fantasies for women, both an “unusual place” and a “romantic location” top the list. And doesn’t sex in a car fit both those bills? Yes … well, pretty much.

But if you’re going to have sex in the car (especially if you’re a newbie to it), there are things you need to consider before you jump into it. It’s not just about the positions that work best for car sex, but the logistics of the whole thing, too. So before you and your partner swing your car around to the back of Target to get it on, here are nine things you should know first.

1. Cars Are For Quickies Only

No one should go into car sex thinking it’s going to be some long, drawn-out lovemaking session that will include at least a good 40 minutes of foreplay. Cars are for quickies on your lunch break or, for those of you still living with mom and dad, a speedy bang before getting dropped off back home.

2. You Really Only Have Two Possible Options For Sex Spots In The Car

Unless you think you’re in some ridiculous ‘80s music video in which having sex on the hood of a car while doused in five gallons of Aqua-Net hairspray seems totally legit, you really only have the passenger seat and/or the back seat to have sex.

For passenger seat action, you’ll need to recline the seat a bit and hope you don’t ram your leg into the side of the door or that annoying thing that locks the seat belt in place. From here, cowgirl position, either regular or reverse, is your best bet.

For backseat action, you can lay down a bit more, but unless you’re my height (about five feet tall), then one of you will probably be straddling the other while sitting not quite upright; there’s just no space for lying down. Of course, there’s always the option of giving oral sex to your partner while they sit in the driver’s seat, but when it comes to penetrative sex, trying to get it on in that seat isn’t going to be easy. In fact, the car horn will be accidentally beeped so many times that you’ll just draw attention to yourself.

3. Leg Cramps Are Inevitable

Well, any position where you can’t total stretch out your legs is liable to cramp up something. And car sex is pretty much the exact recipe for a Charley horse (or five).

4. You Definitely Want To Crack Open A Window

Did you see Titanic? Remember their car sex scene? It was steamy and hot as hell, which of course, can be really sexy and add to the mystery of what’s going on in the car. But you also have to consider that steamy windows are a dead giveaway that something is up, and if you have a Nosy Nancy killjoy walking by, she might call the fuzz on you. Nosy Nancy killjoy doesn’t want anyone to have any fun.

5. Leather Seats Aren’t Going To Feel Nice On Your Skin

Let’s put it this way: Carpet burns are nothing after you’ve had to rip your moist and sticky skin off a leather or vinyl seat in a car. Leather also doesn’t allow for much slip and sliding, so this is where that whole thing you learned in Girl Scouts about having a blanket in the trunk of your car at all times comes in handy.

He loved his dog more than his wife. A Bulawayo man Shingai Mpofu, who was in the habit of refusing his wife conjugal rights was caught red-handed bonking his dog. Yes, they say a dog is a man’s best friend but for Mpofu it turns out to be the best se_x of his life. The […]

South Africa’s favourite dynamic DJ Duo, SPHEctacula and DJ Naves, add club owners to their already impressive resume with the opening of Icon Soweto in Pimville Square this festive season. Today marks Icon Soweto’s official launch party with a string of launch events to come in the New Year. Thando Thabethe will be the hostess […]