Just a guy from the Cape Flats travelling the world and experiencing the beauty, wonder and madness of the world. See the world through the eyes of a Cape Flats kid. From Cape Town, South Africa. Comment & subscribe now!

Monday, 29 July 2013

Most dangerous moment in my life......

.

Its
was just our usual mush up house party we have 3 times a week. Nothing
really exciting besides getting completely wasted and unrecognizable. We
had 3 friends who worked for the biggest brewery in South Africa and
every month on pay day they would each get a bonus of about 5 cases of
beer which for us meant 15 cases of free alcohol. To us this was not
merely a convenience but more like a challenge and we were always ready
to take it on.

Never happy with anything normal our
evening took on a whole new direction. We needed to show the world what
party animals really look like. So off we went to my moms hotel and the
local watering hole. After abusing the barman there we were ready for
the next adventure. Back to the house party just around the corner but
this time we decided to crawl hands and knees all the way stopping all
the traffic in the road. Yes six grown men foaming at the mouth like a
pack of wild dogs. Looking back I really have no explanation for this
besides madness.

In a blink of an eye all the guys
were in floral dresses. They splashed crayola on their faces because
life is too short. If this was not convincing enough they all found
these female looking gladiator sandals which had long laces which criss
crossed up their legs. What little memory I have left I believe I was in
a suit driving the company van. Guess I was not feeling the gayness in
me. I was good enough though to make another run at the smuggling house
where one could buy beers, liqueur and weed. So off we went into the one
of the most dangerous suburbs in the city. We never thought too much of
the danger as we were there so often and fear was an annoyance our
rough schedule had no time for.

Actual Neighbourhood in Cape Town!!

It
was late and pitch dark with no light. The area had council houses
which surrounded an empty square pitch. Its was a quick in and out
operation with a parked car for less than 4 minutes. Its amazing though
how alcohol takes away any fear or concern. Driving the company van did
pose a risk but what could go wrong? I had two guys sitting with me on
the front seat, my backup! The coast seemed clear from what little we
could see. It all looked deserted. Not even the locals would be out at
this time.

I pulled up alongside the smuggle house
so the guys could jump out and buy supplies through the front window and
off we go. Pulling up nice and carefully my eyes were adjusting to all
the darkness. Scanning the area I saw some shadows moving in front of
the van. As these figures moved closer I made out 3 guys walking toward
the van. And out of the darkness the first object coming into focus was a
barrel of gun pointed straight at me. FUck was all I thought while my
heart stopped and my ass squeezed into my throat. Just Frozen.........
All I could hear from my friends was "Drive, drive, drive!!"

This
Mofo had the gun pointed directly at me with a fucking bright neon sign
saying "George-the black one" Why the hell would I want to take such a
chance? With the gun trained towards my head this Mofo casually walked
around my side putting the nozzle against the glass. I slowly rolled the
window down out of courtesy so when he shoots the glass would not
litter on the ground. Desperately trying to think of a Steven Seagal
move I could pull like we dreamt of as kids, but my brain said dont be
an ass, act cool

The
Catch 22 of cool was that in my peripheral vision I saw my two best friends wiping the
lipstick and eye liner off their faces like the dresses wont give it away and I could already envision the
headlines in the newspaper. "Man dressed in suite shot in head while 2
men in dresses and makeup lay in a field 10 meters away" It was not
looking good. I am going to die with two transvestite looking wannabes
by my side. What have I done to get myself this deep in the shit? (Well I
know but....thats another story) With the gun to my head I could not
think of anything brave to do. Nothing. Just sitting there with a
revolver against my brain. All those action movies later, bragging about
what you would do in such situations..........did not help me a damn.

My
mind was thinking about these two next to me wiping their makeup as if
they know their family has to view their bodies and all the makeup would
be a hard to explain. Sitting there with an overwhelming sense of dread
I heard a voice shout out: "Hey Faizel!! What the fuck you wanna rob us
for. Voetsek!"

Turns out one of my boys with the
pretty makeup actually knew the dumb Mofo with the gun and they started
shooting the breeze about good old times - while the gun slowly came
away from the head. There I am shitting bricks and Faizel shows us
there's no bullets in the gun but he thought he take a chance away.

Slowly I could feel my bum descending from my throat back to where it belonged. Please rate this story below and subscribe. Thanks.