Q - What is this blog about?
A - It's stuff written by Andrew Girardin. And comics and games.
Q - I'm weakminded and need to be popular. What do my peers say about it?
A - "Your blog is so funny! It's the best written blog! Why don't you write a full-length novel? I'd gladly buy it!"
Q - Is Andrew that guy who translates the Asterix jokes?
A - Yes.
Q - Why doesn't he just stick to that?
A - Good point. Don't know.

Monday, June 06, 2011

The Grandes Armes de Paris

My recent blog posts have been getting lots of media buzz, and my design skills have come to the attention of the world's cultural elite. So it wasn't much of a surprise when I got an invitation to meet the French ambassador to Zurich, Henri Léonard Jean Baptiste-Baptiste Mozambique in his plush lakeside office.

"What's this all about?" I said. "Perfect for what?""Une petit commission, Mister Androo. As you know, the Grandes Armes de Paris is very old.""Grande... um... the big... furniture...?""The ah, how you say, Mantle of Arms. Crest, no?""Oh, the Coat of Arms.""D'accord. So this is what the current one looks like:"

"It's nice," I said. "And I know that 'Fluctuat nec mergitur' means 'She is tossed by the waves but does not sink' because Professor Ibrox told me. It's kind of a nice way of saying that whatever goes down - plague, war, Sarkozy, there will always be a Paris.""It is nice," he confirmed. "But it's exactly nine hundred years old and we want to update it. The crest, not the logo.""And you think I'm the best man for the job?""Mister Androo, we see from your extraordinary work on the Asterix jokes that you totally understand the French mentality. We believe in you."

Was his trust misplaced? Judge for yourself. Can you find the eight changes I made?