The Power of Love

I looked up from my diary as the
phone rang. I leaned with some difficulty to pick it out of its stand, wishing
I had listened to Varsha and kept it on the bed itself.

“Hello” I said, clearing my
throat a bit, my voice a little hoarse from being so unused.

“Hey honey, I’ll be a teensy bit
late coming back. There is still so much of work to complete and you know there
would be such a rush after six. And also I have to shop a bit and bring those
medicines for you…” she said in one breath, her voice a bit squeaky.

“Varsha…” I tried to get in her
monologue.

“Oh! And see I nearly forgot! I have
to get that shirt of yours from the tailor as well. He called me last week and I
completely forgot to go there and…”

“Varsha!” I said louder so that
she went silent “It’s OK. I don’t mind. Don’t break your neck with worry over
it. Ok? I’ll be alright”

“Are you sure?” she asked
quietly, sounding more like herself.

“Yes. Stop worrying about me. Get
your work done and come back. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Ok. If you need anything, just
call me. Keep drinking water ok? Bye. See ya in a while” she said and ended the
call.

I shifted my pillows into a more
comfortable position, wishing for the millionth time I weren’t so helpless and
dependent.

But then fate twists your life in
a cruel, unwanted way, and there is nothing left but the frustration and
resentment. It was on one such day that my fate decided to screw me up and bring
me face to face with the cruel reality of my life.

It was like any other day; I had
come out of my apartment to go to the grocery store across the road when a
flash of white came skidding towards me and then a sharp, intolerable pain was
all that my life was left with.

For a month I had lain senseless,
rotting on the hospital bed. When I woke up, her tear streaked face was the
only thing I could see; it didn’t take me long to realize that this was the
woman who had rendered me a cripple for the rest of my life.

I couldn’t walk anymore; all that
was left of my legs were two ugly stumps.

Hatred burned inside me as I looked
at her. I could see nothing but my anguish in her repenting eyes.

I had no relatives or parents to
claim me, though I doubt they would have done anything even if they did exist.
So I prepared myself to rot in that smelly general ward till they threw me out
of the hospital altogether.

And then came the boomerang. She
came inside my ward after a few weeks, something she hadn’t dared to do till
then, and said timidly, “The… doctor says you can be released tomorrow… I
wanted to ask… if you don’t mind… you could… come stay… with us…”

Blood boiled in my veins as I saw
her pretty face, her shy, soft eyes that beseeched me and I could feel the
bitter hatred on my tongue before I could even speak.

“Get released to where? To the hell you have prepared for
me? And please, keep your pity to yourself. What a god damn polite way of
saying ‘Since you have nowhere to go and since your life is officially fucked
up, you have no choice but to come with me!” I spit on her face and took
pleasure in seeing her flinch at my words, seeing the tears escape her eyes.

But I had no option
than to go with her. Something I wouldn’t have ever dreamt of doing in my life
given the choice. But I had no crossroads to decide from and I had no motive to
live either so going with her was almost a blessing, at least then I could draw
strength from my hatred and find the incentive to live.

She lived in a 2-bedroom flat with her husband - a tall,
brooding guy who worked as a security analyst with some software company while
she herself was an architect. It was evident that her husband didn’t like
having an invalid creep in the house with them and I could hear them having
rows over it time and again.

Instead of feeling guilty, I took a sadistic pleasure from
it. I didn’t leave any chance in making her life more difficult than it already
was - calling her at unsuitable times, making nerve racking demands, and taking
out all my frustration on her when I felt too wretched.

But she took it all in silence.

I waited, stretching her to her breaking point, waited for
her to release her frustration so that I could unleash my hatred some more. But
the day never came.

And her silent endurance made me madder than ever…

Then came the day that changed both our lives. The day when
her husband gave her the final choice - I or he – for both obviously couldn’t
stay under the same roof together.

Rage and bitterness hit me like waves as I knew the obvious
path she would choose, just as her husband knew it too.

And then…before I could even grasp was happening, she
divorced her husband and we shifted to a new apartment whose rent she paid.

I was too numb with shock to realize the gravity of her
decision, too numb even to react.

Silence. Silence was all that stretched between us for days.

Every night I could hear her muffled crying… those were the
nights I couldn’t sleep either.

And then the pain became too worse for me to bear. I could see
what I had done to her- became a burden she couldn’t shake off for that one
mistake she committed, became her own personal devil from hell to suck away her
life, became a truth she could neither face, nor run away from.

I saw what I had done to myself in the process of tormenting
her for my own satisfaction- I had become a monster, a monster of the worst
kind. I was of no use to anyone, unwanted and unloved. And I could see no
purpose of my life…

I had searched blindly for anything that could end that
misery; my eyes were blind with tears as my hands founded the blessed sharpness
of the eating fork.

But it was wrenched from my hands before I could do anything
and a voice burned in my ears “Don’t you dare even THINK of doing this”

“Let me go!” I screamed, struggling with her with all the
strength I had, hitting her with my fists, but she didn’t let go.

And finally
when I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I resolved into tears in her arms, the
entire vent up frustration, anger, bitterness, hatred pouring out.

I don’t remember how long we both cried that night… the only
thing I remember was the comfort of her arms, of her warm, soft body as she
hugged me and I succumbed to sleep.

And in the morning, when I had woken up, I found a new
motive to live… it was no longer hatred. It had shifted forms to something more
powerful, something more painful… it had changed to love…

It has been two years since that night we both learnt to
accept our lives the way it was. I wasn’t of any use to her but she still loved
me in a way I was never loved before. I had wondered if it was the pity that
made her do that but then I looked into her eyes and found the truth- it wasn’t
pity or guilt that had brought us together… it was the realizations of bigger
things in life… I was loved simply because of me… she loved me because of what
I was.

And that made me respect her more than ever.

No love story is perfect, neither is ours - we both have
that resentment of casting an eclipse on each other’s lives that would probably
never go. And yet, our love was strong enough to overcome that all.

We both lost our lives to each other - I, because of
her, and she, for me. But in the path of losing it all, we found our
life amidst it- a life we chose to live together…

I wiped off my tears as the front door clicked open and she
entered the room after a while.

“Oh this traffic will get...What happened dear!” she
exclaimed as she came near me

.

I shrugged nonchalantly and wiped the last tears off my
cheek. She looked at my open diary and asked quietly, “Been writing and crying
again?”

I didn’t reply, casting my eyes down as she read the verse.
At once her arms were around me, tears pouring down her own cheeks as she
choked, “Your sky isn’t the ground Nidhi, your sky isn’t the ground!”

I hugged her back, clinging on to the only hope of my life-
the woman who had destroyed and yet built my world in unforgettable ways… my
savior... my love… my warm rain in the cold haunting nights… my Varsha…

She took my face in her hands and wiped off my tears,
whispering the words she had said time and again, “I love you Nidhi”

I looked into her eyes and saw the face of a mother I never
had, a sister I had craved for, a lover I never got a chance to make and voiced
out the words I had never said but realized ages ago… “I love you too… I love
you… too…”

* * *

This is written for a challenge set by an Indiblogger (Rahul Miglani) on the thread "Challenge for blog" All i can say is... thankyou for making me write this one...

Comments

Well I can say its the an awesome piece of art , Obv we expect6ed a much different story of two girls in love but you have succeeded in bringing the talent upfront in accepting challenges This is awesome.

You have written """"But then fate twists your life in a cruel, unwanted way, and.............. that my life was left with.""""

This part of the story tells so much in so less time with picturistic view in back drop which is simply superb !!!

You have maintained such a flow in such a sensitive way that it becomes difficult to take away the attention to anything else...

What is this...how can u do this to us!!! with us, i mean boys... Ur words have the power to bring tears in the eyes of even the most insensitive and strongest boyGr8888t post... n now dnt disturb me, I am reading it again :)

What a fabulously woven tale of 2 girls. Heart wrenching stuff this! I was a fan of your stories since I read the story of mother and daughter on your blog, now I am a die hard fan.I think you should consider writing a novel.

Kirti man, chills man chills. This is beautiful; I have no other way to express what I feel. Stories like yours make me feel like life is so not about the little insignificant things we squabble about. It's so much more than that. I love how you came up with the name Varsha...hope. Loved the way you've expressed their love...not just the usual way as mother and daughter but all the other frontiers of love too. So well written Kirti, next time I meet you I'm giving you a big hug :) Thanks for writing such things and making us feel so emotional deep down.

@Nikhil Well, i never thought this would trigger such strong emotions... i am so glad you liked my story :) welcome to my blog :)

@Rahul well all i can say is thank you for giving me this topic to write on. This is definitely something i loved writing. I am so glad you thought i lived up to your challenge!! cheers!

@Leo thanks leo!! this is a big thing coming from you!

@Nikhil i already used Leo's suggestion Nikhil. hope you dont mind!!

@Kajal Thank you kajal Ji :)

@Kinara Thank you so much!!! and a book?? woah! lets see :Pand thanks! i am glad you love it :)

@TF firstly, thanks for visiting my blog and commenting. And thankyou. glad the emotions i wanted to convey reached you :)

@Sridhar well well, i thought you were scolding me at first :Pand thank you! one of the best compliments i have ever received i think :)

@DS For the record, i already have written a novel :P all my friends here have read it. Its a LOVE story though. the ACTUAL kind of love story :P with a guy and a girl and all. thats where i started of Abhimnayu and Krittika :P :Pand thank you so much DS. you are one of the most regular followers of my stories and my blog too :) Its good to have such great reader like you :)

@Antara well, you know i AM proud of this one. and thanks for being the my first reader and for the edit too *please maarna mat* :P

@Tarang Thanks!!

@Nitin thanks Nitin. glad you like dit.

@Sam! GOOD to see you here!! :) your comment is the reason why i parked my lazy ass and decided to type replies for the comments :P :)all i can say is- i am so so so happy you liked my story. and i am waiting for that hug :)and thank you so much for such a heart warming comment! love you girl!! :)

Umm... for this contest there isn't any write-ups as such! You just have to submit your blog and then post a link on ur blog so that ur readers can vote for it... blog submissions will start on 1 April here : Coolest Blog Contest 2012 : Blog Submissions you need to sign up on that site to submit ur blog.. :D please do inform your other blogger friends!

arre no .. for this contest there isnt any topics to write .. u just need to submit ur blog and then user voting will decide which is the best among all the nominees! :D so go ahead... signup on that site and submit ur blog !

Chilling... yes. Engrossing... yes. Crisp dialogue... yes. Pace... yes. What it needs more is a wholesome character development of the three characters as this is what affects the credibility of the choices they make. Therefore, reflection of truth... no.

Decisions that affect life aren't made on an impulse. Even what appears to be an impulsive decision actually takes shape because of how things have unfolded in the past. This 'unfolding of past incidents' needs to be dealt with in the story...

I cannot believe you are 16! :) When I was 16, if I got an 6/8 in an Essay in English, I was ecstatic! (I was in KV too! :D) Love your blog so much!!!! :) And its fun reading about your school! :D I relive my KV experience