Lindsey informs us about another common virus in the herpes family, cytomegalovirus defined by the CDC as: Cytomegalovirus (pronounced sy-toe-MEG-a-low-vy-rus), or CMV, is a common virus that infects people of all ages. Over half of adults by age 40 have been infected with CMV. Once CMV is in a person’s body, it stays there for life and can reactivate. Most people infected with CMV show no signs or symptoms. However, CMV infection can cause serious health problems for people with weakened immune systems and for unborn babies https://www.cdc.gov/cmv/index.html

Given the political climate we're in right now where reproductive rights are being restricted, the timeliness of this episode is important for a number of reasons. Lindsey shares her experience through her pregnancy where she finds out after alerting the doctor that she knew something wasn't right with her body repeatedly and then being dismissed, only to find out later that at some point she had been exposed to CMV during her pregnancy.

Lindsey found out about this several weeks into the pregnancy and was given the information on what the baby's life could look like if she chose to go through with birthing the child. She was informed about the child's potential disabilities and challenges it would face IF it would not be stillborn. Lindsey was given a choice and made the choice that she felt was best for her.

If you'd like to purchase a SPFPP t-shirt to support the nonprofit, Something Positive for Positive People, please let me know and we can figure out how to get that to you. They are $25. I'll make a real announcement once the website goes live.

If you are curious about non monogamy or interested in opening your relationship, I encourage you to consider checking out this podcast episode. Dr. Stephanie K. Webb teaches an online course you can sign up for at www.unscriptedrelationships.com that is an introduction to opening up your relationship. I enjoyed this course as it is hands on and there's a workbook that helps you put what you're hearing to paper which allows you to challenge beliefs you may have had before.

Dr. Stephanie defines cheating for us. I have always thought people who were non monogamous couldn't cheat because their partners knew they were involved with other people. Dr. Stephanie corrected me on that one real quick haha. We also talk about love in comparison to commitment, rules in comparison to boundaries, compulsory monogamy and ethical monogamy and I did my best to keep this around 1 hour for everyone to make it through. Depending on the feedback, we may be able to convince Dr. Stephanie to come back for a part 2. Let us know what you think. Please leave a rating and review for this episode and share with your frans!

Also we have $25 t-shirts. The money that comes in will go toward development for the nonprofit functions of Something Positive for Positive People. For more details just contact me on social media or email me: courtneywbrame@gmail.com

There’s a range of emotions that come with dating. While it starts often with physical attraction, it’s common to decide to look at the more important things once the person has you by the eyes. From there, you choose to have a written exchange if you’re on a dating site like Dating Positives, or a verbal exchange if you’re in a social setting. From there you’re deciding whether or not this person is compatible with you. What’s amazing about this process is that you are naturally empowered as the chooser. “Are they a fit for me?” is the question we’re answering during the exchange with the potential partner. By the end of the exchange, we know if we want another one or if there’s no need for doing it again. If not, we move on and repeat this process with the next potential partner.

And then there’s those of us who can’t relate to the luxury of being able to decide based on appearance if someone is a fit for us. Physical attraction, conversation, lifestyle, etc. tends to carry a much lighter load when you seek partners based on whether or not you’re a fit for them. I struggled with this after my positive herpes diagnosis for years. I began to look at prospective partners based on how they viewed me. Am I a right fit for you? What can I do to be a better fit? And then there was always the lingering covert expectation of “if I’m everything else they need in a partner, then they won’t mind that I have herpes”. Where did these thoughts come from between the time I likely contracted herpes and when I actually found out I had herpes? Nothing changed except for the fact that I was now aware of something that just lived in my body. I let its coming out of hiding completely change the way I did dating and relationships.

I found someone who was able to elaborate almost parallel to my experience around this time and decided to have a conversation with her on the Something Positive for Positive People Podcast where I interviewed her about dating with herpes. Our guest for this episode talks about making dating decisions from this space of being chosen rather than being the chooser and just how it can mess with your head to have to potentially deal with that rejection, especially in a casual dating environment. Living in Bali, she shares the experiences she’s had disclosing her positive status to partners and the various responses she’s gotten from partners still not wanting to use condoms, changing their mind from accepting her status to not accepting it, the importance of disclosing to casual partners or not disclosing, and then of course being flat out rejected.

Check out this episode to hear about Adrienne’s experience casual dating and disclosing and not disclosing to partners in this casual atmosphere. What we learned from these experiences and what her audience on Instagram surprisingly thinks about whether or not to disclose to casual sexual partners.

About the guest:

Adrienne Rommel, is a Certified Nutritional Practitioner, Yoga Teacher and Mindfulness Coach from Toronto, Canada has a passion for women’s sexual health and wellness. As a 37-year young woman, she’s struggled with her own Yoni and sexual health issues since she was a teenager. For her, it was the lack of sexual education and increased antibiotic use as a child, long-term birth control pill use, lack of STI awareness, bad diet, high stress lifestyle and unresolved emotional trauma that contributed to her own personal sexual health issues. Having struggled with her own sexual health for half her life, she’s lived with HSV-2 genitally for 16 years and is prone to yeast infections, but has healed herself through diet and natural holistic wellness and healing practices. Experiencing it first-hand and having the knowledge as a Certified Holistic Nutritionist, she helps women who are struggling with their own personal Yoni and sexual health issues, heal their bodies and Yoni’s from the inside out, just like she healed her own. She is also a new member of the Herpes Activist Network Dismantling Stigma, HANDS! Adrienne can be connected with on: Instagram, Facebook, Youtube @YoniNutritionist and her website is www.yoninutritionist.com

Support the show by becoming a patron at Patreon.com/spfpp

If you like this episode please like, rate, review and share this podcast! I’m on social media @HOnMyChest! Stay sex positive!

Johana Dominguez teaches us that while it could always be worse, things ALWAYS can be better. Living 8 years with genital HSV taught her to shift that negative self talk. Below are some great takeaways from this SPFPP episode

- There's always someone there to support you

- We are in control of what happens within us

- Say it until you believe it and absorb relative content the person you want to be would take in

St. Louis MO - We've seen a rise in new cases of syphilis and discuss some of the contributions there. We discuss not only stigma factors but also the influence of politics in availability for medical treatment.

There's an exclusive announcement in this podcast episode as to another service PP will be providing really soon from the time of release.

The internal condom has come up a few times over the last two weeks so we also discuss that.

And as the title suggests, we talk more about syphilis and its rising.

Use these services, get tested and if you come up positive, seek treatment. Know your status and get yourself tested!

I'm on social media @HOnMyChest (especially Instagram where I"m most active) Please rate, review and share this podcast to show your support to the community or you can financially support the podcast at www.patreon.com/spfpp

Texas Wears Condoms is a San Antonio based organization that ships 25 condoms per month to Texas residents for no cost. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ambie, the Community Outreach Specialist about her role and get more details about the organization.

www.texaswearscondoms.org is where you can go to place your order today! Nonprofit organizations such as this one add so much value to destigmatizing STIs by providing a safe space for people to get the resources they need for their sexual health. Please support them if you can by utilizing their service or volunteering to help with packaging and distribution. Call their Volunteer Services line at 210-743-5730 or visit www.universityhealthsystem.com for more opportunities.

www.breakinghivstigma.org is an online platform aimed to normalize conversations around HIV/AIDS. We're in a time where these are manageable conditions and they need to be treated as such.

Rashard and I address HIV's prevalence in the black community and how harmful the stigma is in relation to people prioritizing their own pride over their physical health.

What could've been 2 episodes easily, has been trimmed down to 1 longer one. We discuss race which is something I know can be touchy, but as a community of sex positive people, this is something that has relevance to this particular conversation and we can all find useful if we listen.

Leave a review, share the podcast, or join the Patreon to financially support the podcast at www.patreon.com/spfpp

I'm joined again by one of my favorite humans, Jenelle Marie Pierce, Founder & Executive Director of The STD Project. (I told ya'll we're uplifting more nonprofits on this hub of sex positive resources and Founder of HANDS - Herpes Activists Networking to Dismantle Stigma to discuss what HANDS is and some upcoming projects we're involved with including Break the Stigma Day.

Devin Elise Wilson, Founder of Love Profound and fellow HANDS Member got the ball rolling on an amazing project to help dismantle the stigma of living with herpes. 6 months after herpes awareness day, she thought it'd be great to do something specifically useful in getting loved ones involved to help show support to those who may not feel safe sharing their positive diagnosis.

The ideation of Something (sex) Positive for (sex) Positive People had multiple catalysts and this experience was one of them. Adding to the goals, I choose to uplift organizations such as this Nonprofit, St. Louis Effort for AIDS that provide services to people who are positive with HIV and AIDS, as well as offer sex education resources, free condoms, free STD testing and affordable treatment!

My experience led me to believe the destigmatization of herpes, the shame around contracting an STI, and unwillingness to know your status stems from the belief that you'll be judged for engaging in sexual activities with partners. When I was tested, while I identify as cis-gendered, heterosexual male, he/him prounouns, I was asked that. I was asked if I was or engaged in sexual acts with sex-workers, trans-people, other cis-men, and I felt the intention was genuinely to be able to inform me according to my sexual preferences and how my health could be affected based on any health risks associated with the kind of sex I have.

Uplifting these shame free environments and making it normal to seek regular STI treatment, use these free condoms and get treated soon will help create space for people to be more understanding and aware of the risks that come with having partnered sex so that we're better prepared for how to deal with and manage an STI if we are exposed to one or if someone discloses to us that they have one. This allows for a partner to make a more educated/informed decision while creating shame-free space where the person disclosing is empowered to continue disclosing and giving partners that choice again and again if relevant.

The compassion and empathy I was met with was beyond anything I received at an organization whose services I paid for. This nonprofit is just one of many all over the world that offers these services and I encourage everyone to utilize them. I challenge you listeners of this podcast to find, use, and share these resources so that it's more taboo NOT to know your status than it is to be positive so that we can begin to get treatment early and give sexual partners all the info they need to make a fully consensual decision to move forward sexually with us.

Enjoy this episode.

This organization is www.stlefa.org and their Instagram is @STLEFA. I'm on Instagram @HOnMyChest

A woman who believes in the power of knowing and loving yourself, Erica sees beauty in ordinary things & has an artsy, creative side. In her eyes, sexuality is such a fundamental part of us as human beings & is at the root of what makes a person who they are. Through her work, she endeavors to unblock situations that keep one from sexual fulfillment by normalizing natural human sexual behavior.

Her Instagram page @s.xuallectual is an extension of her being. Check out this episode as she shares her chlamydia horror story and having to navigate the challenge of disclosing an STD to not one but two partners! Her story teaches us to move forward in a more informed way. While many of us disconnect from our bodies and sex after having been exposed to an STD, Erica shares a useful way to communicate with your partner(s) to better understand the potential risks of sexual encounters and how to move forward.

If you’d like to work together, Erica’s job will be toward a jointly constructed action-plan designed to move toward your goals. Your job will be to set the agenda which can include any facet of your sex life in which you seek improvement, enhancement, or expansion.