I’m starting to have feelings for someone again, but am I being too clingy?

Posted by Carone on May 7, 2012

So I have been single for a couple months and have not really had any feelings for anyone till this certain guy came along. He is really the first guy I’ve been with that I could see myself pursuing since my ex. We have hooked up a couple times, although I am afraid he might 'get around'. The thing is he acts like he's really into me, but then is really unresponsive at other times. I don't get it - I asked him if he liked me. He does (so he says). However, I want to be serious about this and he doesn't seem to be in the same situation. He is ‘hot’ and ‘cold’ a lot of the time. Honestly, he’s never been my ‘type’, but he’s all I think about and want to pursue. I’m super laid back normally, but I feel like I’m in his face more than he wants. What do I do? Confront him or just leave him be and move on? - Victoria from Chicago, Illinois

Honestly, it seems like you’re a bit insecure because of whatever happened between you and your ex. It’s natural to want to grab a hold of someone when the butterflies kick in and your mind is on “repeat” about them. However, it’s also very important that you have a give/take relationship with distance. What I mean by that is you need him to have some time to himself and you need time to yourself so that you don’t end up completely dependent on him. You see how it’s messing with your mind now? Well, it will only get worse if you don’t nip it in the bud right away. Allow yourself some time to develop confidence while with this guy, after all, he DID say that he liked you. Guys are always sketchy when it comes to a new relationship, so allow him the time to make the decision he wants to make without forcing him to say “yes” or “no” today. You may want to be serious, but you can’t force that, it has to naturally happen. You “feel like you’re in his face more than he wants” because you probably are. Your instincts are usually right. Back off, build yourself up a bit and he’ll be running to you. In addition to this, let’s talk about your “type”. If you’re not happily married, then your “type” hasn’t worked out so far. Be adventurous and go outside of your comfort zone and you just may find your “type”.

Good luck and be patient. This guy isn’t going to get married tomorrow and he isn’t going to be moving out of state. Time is on your side, but only if you’re patient.