Are there actually any differences between Swedes and Germans?

Well, except, both consume lots of dairy products and celebrate Christmas. But even that in slightly different ways. For example: Germans don’t watch Donald Duck each Christmas eve at 3 p.m. whereas Swedes altogether do.

To understand a few more differences you (even if you’re a German or Swede) can use this list when you talk to a countryman from one of these nations while you are in a pub, drunk and in desperate need to talk about cultural differences.

So, here is a selection of examples where Germans and Germany is different from Swedes and Sweden – and vice versa:

Differences between Germans and Swedes

1.

Germans drink some wine or beer here and there. Many of them don’t even mind having a glass of beer or wine every day.Prost!

Germans love German car brands, particularly the makes of Mercedes, Volkswagen and BMW.

Swedes love Chinese car brands, like Volvo and Saab.

3.

Germans use a “normal” knife to spread butter on a slice of bread.

Swedes have come up with a genius idea. They invented the smörkniv, a wooden butter knife, whose sole purpose is to spread butter on things. (Why is it genius? Errrm. Let’s hope some reader of this post has already explained this in the comments below.)

4.

Germans like to “know better”. They tend to brag about when they are better informed about something than you are. This trait makes them so called Besserwisser, literally translated: better knowers.

Swedes however, try to avoid any conflict. Even when they “know better” than you, they often just nod over what you have to say, with a smile, and go back to work.

5.

Germans can buy alcohol any time of the day, as long as they have access to a gas station. Even during daytime they can get alcohol in the supermarket and Toys’R’us.

Swedes have to go to one of the stores of their state-owned Systembolaget, the only place they get anything that contains more than 3,5% of alcohol, if they want to get some drinks for home consumption.(No, of course you can’t buy alcohol at Toys’R’us – but if you’re a German you probably don’t read this anyways because you already scrolled down to leave a critical besserwisser-comment.)

6.

Germans make jokes about the Dutch.

Swedes joke about Norwegians.

7.

Germans are proud of having won the football world cup four times, ’54, ’74, ’90 and ’14.

Swedes can talk for hours about their glorious team in the world cup of ’94 – where they got third. Yayy.

8.

Germans have done major contributions to the initiation and continuation of a world war, it was 1914 and it was simply called World War (back in the days). A sequel was launched in 1939, titled “Worl War II”. Both turned out bad, not only for Germans but for whole mankind.

Swedes on the other hand have been less ambitious when it comes to starting a war or even participating in one. For more than 200 years (!) they stayed in their red wooden houses, thinking, “njää, let the others do.”

Alright, I acknowledge, the point above might have been a bit of a downer. So, let’s continue with something a bit less serious – like diseases.

9.

Germans try to avoid getting the Grippe, a simple cold that is cured within a few days.

Swedes panic when they hear someone saying “I just had magsjuka“, stomach flu.

10.

Germans take Aspirin whenever they have a headache.

Swedes take Alvedon or Ipren whenever they (believe they) have any kind of illness. This is mostly due to the fact that it’s exactly what nurses and doctors recommend them to do after contacting Swedish health care. “If Alvedon or Ipren didn’t help, please call us again in four weeks, and we will tell you to call us in four weeks again…”

11.

And here is one more difference between Swedes and Germans

Let’s get outdoor! Germans feel vulnerable to the forces of nature whenever they find themselves within a few meters proximity to natural objects, like trees or gras. To protect themselves from the dangers of “outdoor-life” they wear outdoor jackets. Cocooned in these jackets, German bodies are less likely to be effected by health threatening phenomenas like wind or rain, and thereby – logic – counteract catching a Grippe (flu). Swedes base the decision whether they should wear more than just a shirt on the simple question: Does the sun shine, or not? No matter what temperature.

American here. Spent 5 years in Germany. Had a Swedish exchange student, and am going to visit her next year. Your article was delightful. Thanks for the input. And even if I didn’t know the Chinese had bought the cars, the comment was on point!

I spent several holidays in Sweden and really love the people and the country. The list of differences put a big smile on my face. Imho Germany will become a better place, if the Germans try to become more swedish. ??

Sweden is wayyyy better than germany. The Swedes are more friendly have better food, and for such a small population achieved wayyy more then germany in economics sports and culture and were way stronger than germany in wars if you look at how small population the Swedes have

Besserwisser here: “Grippe” is not the word you should use here, a harmless “Flu” is called “Schnupfen” and includes a runny nose and sneezing. Grippe is more severe, with symptoms like fever, coughing and headache additonally to the runny nose. There is also the so-called “Magen-Darm-Grippe”, being what you seem to call “magsjuka”.

What you got right is the access to alcohol, almost got me with the Toys’R’Us.

I’m German and Swedish. I though this was rather entertaining. I spend every moment I can outdoors. I do not even recall the last time that I was sick with anything. (Compulsive hand washer :) I have silver hair and green eyes, not blue. (Silver due to age, dirty blonde when young) I rarely drink, but if I do, it’s pretty much a gimme that I will get toasted. I hate beer. If I could buy Absolute Vodka at Toys-R-Us, I probably would. It would likely be cheaper than the liquor store. I would never directly point out to another person that I have knowledge that they do not. I continue to ask questions until they figure out that they have no clue what they are talking about, and realize that I know it also. One should endeavor to be subtle. Yes, butter will slide off the knife, thus I use a spoon. I am politely sarcastic most of the time. A few times I have been asked why German’s are so blunt and rude, I view the question as blunt and rude. I have said, “I do not view natural superiority as either blunt or rude” I will follow that comment with “bless your heart.” Anyone from the south will recognize that as —— off. LOL

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