Welcome to today's portion of the The 2012 TD.com Soccer Board 2 Chainz True Ass, No Lie Awards Ceremony. I'm glad to see all of you made it back safely, especially those of you who decided to go to the 2 Chainz and Swagotelli after party.

Let's get to it, here are the Player Awards...

First, presenting the award for BEST PLAYER...some have called him the greatest player of all-time. A legend for Santos, the New York Cosmos, and the Brazilian national team...please welcome Pele to the stage!

Pele: "I am honored to be at such a prestigious event and even more honored to present this award to the world's best player. There is no doubt that this young man is the best on the planet, and he proved it this year time and time again for club and country. A brilliant dribbler with the greatest scoring ability since, well, me...the award goes to...Neym---"

(Security storms the stage again, dragging Pele off as he continues his congratulations speech to his protege...)

(As Messi steps forward to receive his award from 2 Chainz, RandySavage grabs him! "YEAH BUT YOU DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING. YOU'RE NOT A CHAMPION LIKE ME. YOU'RE GOAL RECORD MEANS NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG..." Security picks him up as well, off to join his pal Bho in a broom closet.

Up next, we swear this is our final underrated award. Those responsible for this have been sacked. Don't you worry.

The winner for MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER is...Michael Bradley, AS Roma and the United States!

Jose Mourinho: And the winner is...well, this must be a misprint. No, there is absolutely no way that a second-string goalkeeper won this award. I demand a recount and a move to the EPL. The winner is NOT Iker Casillas.