Some have opposed the company’s support of the traditional family. “Well, guilty as charged,” said Cathy when asked about the company’s position.

“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.

“I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say ‘we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage’ and I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.”

Since being a hateful, intolerant ass goes against my value system (I give God thanks for that) I would prefer not to eat at a chain that is open about discriminating against gay people.

No. No, the problem is this is not true. I think the chicken nuggets at Chick-fil-A are awesome the way the power of God is awesome.

This is a huge problem for me because I LOVE Chick-fil-A. There’s only one Chick-fil-A in New York, and it’s in the NYU Cafeteria (because that is place known to be Godly?) so I can’t go there, but whenever I visit family in the south, it’s my first stop after I get off the plane. Really. I love those chicken nuggets. I’ve done this for years even though I find the talking cows in their ads really disturbing. Do they not realize that the logical extension of their advertising campaign is attributing anthropomorphic qualities to chickens? I guess not.

And now I can’t eat there.

Fuck you, Chick-Fil-A. Fuck you for making it impossible to love you. I thought we had something special. Ed Helms and I are both disappointed in you.