TV News

Everything You Need to Know Before the Second Season Premiere of 'Revenge'

Over the next few months, we’ll see new series soar, old series sour, and so much Jersey Shore madness, we’ll want to shower. Let’s face it: The Fall TV season is intimidating. With dozens of new and returning shows hitting our small screens, we know we have some big choices to make. So, to help you determine what to watch, we’re digging deep into the most notable series premiering this season. Where did each show leave off? Where is it headed? And who should you watch it with? Next up is ABC's ladies who lunch on each other soap Revenge. It's gonna come back to get you, like a homicidal pregnant stripper. No, that's a real thing. Told you it would getcha.

Series: Revenge

Premiere Date: Sunday, September 30, at 9 PM on ABC

Tagline: Amanda Clark, who the world knows as Emily Thorne, is out for revenge against the powerful Grayson family that framed her father for terrorism and sent him to prison where he died. Now she's using her millions (billions?), her superior cunning, and her ninja training to take them down and find out just who the shady group behind her father's assassination really is. Oh, and there's a few guys she's in love with too.

All the Cliffhangers: When season one ended a plane carrying Botox-paralyzed socialite Victoria Grayson, her best frenemy Lydia, and an FBI agent crashed thanks to a bomb the White Haired Man who killed Amanda's father placed on the plane. Who is alive and who is dead? Also, Conrad Grayson was rushing his daughter Charlotte to the hospital after a suicide attempt. Amanda's love Jack was getting back together with Emily, who everyone thinks is Amanda, but is really a homicidal stripper who is carrying a baby that may or may not be Jack's. Also Daniel Grayson was making out with the help. What is this? Downton Abbey? Oh, and Amanda's mother is alive!

Additions to the Family: We already know that Jennifer Jason Leigh will be playing Amanda's mother so that should be delicious. Conrad Grayson's son from a previous relationship is also going to be showing up at Grayson Global to make things interesting. We also know that Nolan is going to be getting a love interest, but knowing Nolan the gender is up in the air, but I hear it's a lady. Oh, and Emily is going to need to push out that baby at some point, right? So that baby will be around. Great. Just what this show needs, a baby.

Death in the Family: Series creator Mike Kelley says that, just like last year, this season will hinge on a death. The season starts at a place in the future and then we flashback to the Hamptons in the summer, but by midway point there will be another dead body to deal with and we'll know how that future event came to be. Who could it be dead and what are we gonna do about it?

Character You Want Dead: The only correct answer is Declan and his awful accent.

Character You Don't Want Dead: I'm very afraid that Lydia, the stone-faced she-devil who survived being thrown off a balcony onto the top of a taxi cab, is finally going to die in a fiery plane crash. Our sincere condolences go out to her family, if she had any.

Who's That Guy?: We don't know what the hell is going on with Amanda's crazy ninja instructor Satoshi Takeda, but we do know that when he comes back this season he's going to look totally different. Original actor Hiroyuki Sanada wasn't available to do season two so Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa is taking over the bad-ass duties.

Ratings: The show's top episode was its season finale (seems like people were getting caught up with the soapy hit as it went along). 7.6 million people watched the final episode in May, and I bet the premiere climbs even higher.

Why Is It on Sunday?: I don't know, but the new time slot is going to be challenging, considering its up against every single other television show you want to watch.

Accolades: The series was ignored by the Emmys, even for Madeline Stowe who plays Victoria, who is acting with a handicap. You don't think botulism paralysis of the forehead counts as a handicap? It does.

Who to Watch It With: Your mom who loved Dynasty, your little sister who loves Pretty Little Liars, and your gay best friend who loves short hunky guys who take their shirts off a lot.

Who Not to Watch It With: People who want their TV dramas to be real. If we wanted real, we'd watch reality. The Kardashians are real, right?

Wine and Cheese Pairing: Well, it's a show set in the summer, so a rosé champagne would be perfect. And cheese? You mean there isn't enough already on screen?