Media experts are still debating the mysterious claim by a 20-year-old McCain/Palin volunteer concerning the bruises, the missing $60, and the letter "B" that suddenly appeared on her cheek as she was using a cash machine in Pittsburg, PA last night. "I honestly believe this is the beginning of the rise of a new type of B-stigmatics," says MSNBC host Chris Matthews, whose personal leg tingles during the Obama speeches have turned him into an expert. "Such B-stigmata will often take form of bruises, disappearing wallets, and yes, the letter B popping up on people's cheeks. The afflicted may even claim they saw the image of the Obamessiah dressed in dark hoodie, jeans, and shiny gym shoes, but those must be hallucinations resulting from exceptional white guilt and desire to associate oneself with the suffering Obamessiah and his disciples."

~

According to experts unaffiliated with the Obama campaign, the miracle of B-stigmata is caused by excessive compassion in persons whose faith in the Obamessiah is so strong that it leads to the individual embodiment of the contemplated pain.

Some B-stigmatics would claim to feel the pain of wounds with no external marks; these are referred to as invisible B-stigmata. Some B-stigmatics' wounds do not appear to clot, and stay fresh and uninfected. The blood from the B-wounds is said, in some cases, to have a pleasant, perfumed odor, known as the Odor of the Obamessiah.

The term originates from the line at the end of long tirade delivered at about 9:30 p.m. near a Citizens Bank automated teller machine by an Obama disciple who said "You are going to be a Barack supporter." The location of the alleged miracle - the ATM on the corner of Liberty Avenue and Pearl Street - has now become a shrine and a place of pilgrimage by other Obama disciples.

There still are skeptics who describe the whole incident as a last-minute attempt by McCain and Palin to engage in Rovian "reverse marketing" because, as everybody knows, there are no depths to which the Republicans will not descend while extending the Bush Doctrine to end human civilization and steal its oil.

All media experts agree, however, in that the so-called "ATM mugging" is a highly improbable scenario because, in all of the United States history, not a single person has ever been mugged while withdrawing cash from an ATM.

The campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama responded to the media reports with a statement saying, "Our thoughts and prayers are with the young woman for her to make a speedy acceptance of the Obamessiah as her personal Savior, and we hope that her wounds emit a pleasant, perfumed odor."

This article is yet another example of irrefutable proof that all McCain supporters, capitalists, neocons, conservatives, Republicans, and SUV owners are lying swine and can never be trusted about anything.

-Character off-I find it worrying that there are people out there like this willing to lie in such a way. I'm willing to bet this broad is going to be used as the standard by which the ultra-leftists look at McCain supporters. Great.-Character on-I wonder if Jon Stewart's got a hold of this story. I can't wait to hear his take on it. He's so funny and clever, and he never ever recycles any of his jokes ever! He's the best thing since when Sir William Ayers was working comedy clubs!

This article is yet another example of irrefutable proof that all McCain supporters, capitalists, neocons, conservatives, Republicans, and SUV owners are lying swine and can never be trusted about anything.

This reminds me of IQ tests.

I'll make up my own in true progressive fashion:

If all conservatives are McCain supporters,but not all McCain supporters are lying SUV-owning swine.....are all conservatives lying SUV-owning swine?

Despite the grievous self-loathing sins and inhuman errors of the untaught masses, Obamessiah remains at the top of the Mount, ready to descend and serve those that would destroy Him. TPC must go to the mountain, and await the descent of Obamessiah.

Heh! What a dumbass! Anyone with half a brain knows that true Party members shoot dissidents.

/off karacter/Seriously, what was this dingbat thinking? Did she not get the memo about how all the violence perpetuated against Republicans in 2004 went mostly unreported? Did she expect some kind of sympathy from the media? Oh, she'll get plenty of attention now and the next time some Republican gets beaten up by the Peace and Love brown shirts, she be used as the example that it's all fake. Thanks so much, dear!

Surely, comrades, we must also now contest the other story as well? Hit on the head with a campaign poster? What rot! When will these people come clean and reveal that they beat themselves on the head with their own posters which they tore down? These liars must be trained by the Ministry of Clarity (or was it Equality or WTF?)

Oh dude! I'm at all not happy at all that the "truth" came out. I'm disappointed since I thought our brothers and sisters in Obama branding arms ("Alpha! Omega!") actually had the gall to do what is needed to silence the opposition.

How am I supposed to enjoy a nice bowl of wheat thins and weed knowing others won't fight for my rights by any means necessary? My arms are for hugging, not working man!

This was the only relevant information I can pull off of her docket sheet.Her hearing is 10/30/2008She's being held with $50K bond....weird, considering she beat herself up.Why isn't she in Western Pennsylvania Psychiatric?

She's a plant.

Nothing in her story adds up.California University of Pennsylvania (a "teacher's college") is down the Monongahela River close to the West Virginia (by God) border. A hotbed of Liberal activism.This was where she was phone banking for McCain?And she needed to find an ATM 60 miles away?

Not exactly close to the Bloomfield neighborhood of the City of Pittsburgh.Liberty Avenue is never deserted.45 minutes to an hour away from California, PA.As the crow flies.The Bloomfield Tavern is very close by this particular ATM.This tavern is another hotbed of Liberal activism.Damn straight.

No record of her birth in Brazos County.Any competant record searchers in Texas?

I think this girl got into a fight with herself we all know how that ends up right? You start a fight with yourself others start to watch then you start a club, then everyone else wants to fight and in the end your trying to bring about the destruction of evil corporations like all great free thinking Americans wan't to do like William Ayers hasn't this all been done before though?

<off>In the Navy, I had 2 of my best students that were best-buds get drunk and have in a similar brawl. Shore patrol found them. They were best-buds even after their time in the brig. Who knows what goes through some people's minds.

Hey, I'm just glad she could form her letters backwards. No Child Left Behind works for everyone!

Could it BEE that the BEE is Backwards BEEcause the Bimbo was looking in the mirror when she applied it?

We answered that in the People's Blog on People's Hero Gets in Face of People's Enemy v2.0. Being a Dyslexic American significantly increases victim status whether she was attacked by herself or by some other disadvantaged person whose life was ruined by GWB.

It is clear as Gulag borscht that Comrade Ashley is a double-agent. She too is working toward that which we all aspire, the great and glorious people's uprising of next Tuesday that will bring Hope and Change and bread lines to the masses.

It is clear as Gulag borscht that Comrade Ashley is a double-agent. She too is working toward that which we all aspire, the great and glorious people's uprising of next Tuesday that will bring Hope and Change and bread lines to the masses.

It is clear as Gulag borscht that Comrade Ashley is a double-agent. She too is working toward that which we all aspire, the great and glorious people's uprising of next Tuesday that will bring Hope and Change and bread lines to the masses.

And soup lines, too. Don't forget those!

We're gonna party like it's 1929!

--

LOL! We need some People's KaraokeTM from the Comrade formerly known as Prince for the smash hit, "1929!"

Certainly that woman could fake it. But there is one thing that we do know--that the Hussies never have to fake an O while cheering for the O. It is, one comradette told me, a sudden thing, which comes all over her in a flash starting from her loins and rockets out to her finger tips, and then to her mouth which in a spasm of pseudo-Tourette's shouts obscenities in Obasm.

Nobody still doesn't know where she came from, other than College Station, Texas.She is to go live with an uncle in New York (?), get a shrink, and later provide her mother's address in Texas to the authorities.What about Daddy? Dead? Missing? Divorced?Why later?

The uncontested absurdities of today are the accepted slogans of tomorrow. They come to be accepted by degrees, by precedent, by implication, by erosion, by default, by dint of constant pressure on one side and constant retreat on the other - until the day when they are suddenly declared to be the country's official ideology. ~ Ayn Rand

Ex-president Obama declares Irma "Hurricane of Peace," urges not to jump to conclusions and succumb to stormophobia

CNN: Trump reverses Obama's executive order banning hurricanes

ISIS claims responsibility for a total solar eclipse over the lands of American crusaders and nonbelievers

When asked if they could point to North Korea on a map many college students didn't know what a map was

CNN: We must bring America into the 21st century by replacing the 18th century Constitution with 19th century poetry

Pelosi: 'We have to impeach the president in order to find out what we impeached him for'

BREAKING: As of Saturday July 8, 2017, all of Earth's ecosystems have shut down as per Prince Charles's super scientific pronouncement made 96 months ago. Everything is dead. All is lost. Life on Earth is no more.

DNC to pick new election slogan out of four finalists: 'Give us more government or everyone dies,' 'Vote for Democrats or everyone dies,' 'Impeach Trump or everyone dies,' 'Stop the fearmongering or everyone dies'

Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power" is humanity's last chance to save the Earth before it ends five years ago

Experts: The more we embrace diversity the more everything is the same

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

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Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise