Contents

Hey, I've removed the WIP tag from Jolt Cola and have commented out the headings that have no content. You could finish it, or you could just leave it, it's up to you. Thanks. —Braydieat 07:56, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

Probably just going to leave it then, since I can't really come up with any more creative ideas. Thanks! Martinultima 12:35, 26 January 2007 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

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This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim(Talk)Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)Rev. Zim(Talk)Get saved! 20:41, 10 February 2007 (UTC)

Any a and o you see that can make a sound like "ay"(as in pay) replace with æ and any o sound(as in holy) replace with œ. Drop the e on the end unless the word is "Œlde". Example: Main = Mæn.

Any words with a th sound should have their th replaced with thorn.

Any words beginning with y should have theiry y replaced with thorn. Ye = þe. You = þou.

"My" should be þy.

Remove unnecessary Hs(What = Wat).

Have should be haþ(Wy þou haþ a sword? = Why do you have a sword?)

That should give you backically everything you need to know how to write in a fake old english. If you have any more questions on how to write in pseudo-old english don't hesitate to leave a message on my talk page. --~

Looking at it again, maybe I judged it too harshly. However, since you asked me (thank you!), I think it could do with a few link removals to things that don't exist, and maybe taking out the very disorienting philosophy section. "Occam's razor"... ooooh, I get it!
--Cajek 18:21, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Okay, I see. Thanks for the review, it was pretty helpful: I got rid of the actually-supposed-to-be-serious parts. However, there's no way this could be funny and not be a list, I don't think. Mostly, it's supposed to be weird. The Colbert reference isn't supposed to be about Colbert, it's just supposed to be funny side effects. Maybe you're reading too much into it? I'm going to look for more editors: thanks for your time Martin.
--Cajek 20:15, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Okay Martin, take another look. The intro is longer/better now. --Cajek 20:46, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

Oooh, thank you for the opening skit comment. I don't know if that picture is a copyright violation, but I would bet so (it's a screenshot). Would you care to, when you get the time, to take a look at how to arrange the lists into paragraphs? I don't think there's a good way to do it. --Cajek 23:38, 3 July 2007 (UTC)

LOL, wow, that's awesome that you liked it that much! However, you do realize that the "ungodly soul inversion" was from a random phrase generator I invented? I've seen that exact side effect before on there (not in real life), so hopefully that doesn't lower the score? I worked for a long time on that random phrase generator, and I think it's still funny. Gimme some more advice, martin, I'm always up for it! --Cajek 04:56, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

You must sign on this talk page before starting and after finishing the article to let me know.

I don't have any ninjastars, so the winner will receive the absence of a ninjastar (pictured here →). I will also vote for any article you wrote on UN:VFH, whether it's on Đùşśąŀəĥøæß or something completely different.

If this contest breaks any Uncyclopedia rules I will not cancel it, but instead redouble my efforts until I see an article I like.

Note that I didn't originally create the Đùşśąŀəĥøæß character, but since I've dragged him into every possible situation (and consistently failed to create a good article of my own) I'm hereby taking the responsibility for describing him, and dumping it on you.

Dear Sir, I'm not much of a writer but I'm trying to write an article on Dr. Đùşśąŀəĥøæß. It currently looks like this. I hope I can be of some assisstance. {Ikabu}BUZZ...FLICK...GURGLE... 07:31, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Hi Martin, please note that your text "Deutsche Grammatik" is not really funny, it's stupid. You obviously created it with an automatic translator software, and every literate person should know that automatic translators produce bullshit. For example, when you wanted to say "fucks you in the ass" the German version says "fucks you in the donkey", since "ass" is translated as "donkey". Wow. The rest is more or less unintelligible. Maybe you would like to work on the text. Or delete it. Just a suggestion. NaturalBornKieler 08:24, 26 July 2007 (UTC)

Yes, that's what I meant (the one on your German user page). Since humour is a matter of taste or the absence of such, I will not further comment on the funniness of your text; anyway, I can only warn you not to use this kind of language in any non-satirical context. You will cause misunderstandings, to say the least. Have a nice day fucking off and eating shit, old chap. NaturalBornKieler 08:34, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

There's a good reason it was on my userpage – I got 6/7 points on my IB German exam and second highest in my state for a national German test, which of course means absolutely nothing in the real world, but in real life I at least try to speak the language as if I had a clue what I was talking about. And thank you for your well-wishing, and I hope you may do the same; "fucking off and eating shit," ain't that the American dream? Megalomaniac Martin “The Unfortunately Unfeatured” Ultima • (VOTE FOR ME!) • talk • (AND MY PICS TOO!) • contribs 15:57, 27 July 2007 (UTC)

Just let me know when you'd like me to look at it again. Sir Roger 21:06, 3 August 2007 (UTC)

You've done a lot of work on improving this article. Good work on the Varients/Flavours and steps to follow if you run into a crazed addict. I'd do a couple of things with the photos: first, the Harry Potter one is great but too small to read, and you might want to put it a bit closer to the written section on Harry Potter. Second, I'd move the photo of the Starbucks guy up slightly, since you refer in the paragraph above to "this guy" and people might not know you're referring to the picture that's a little lower on the page.

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