Pages

Violence Against Women – When Will it End?

It feels like almost every day we are hearing horrific
stories about violence towards women, but there is something much worse than
the actual violence committed in my opinion – the people who witness it and do
nothing. I’m not a do-nothing-kind-of-girl, and even though it is a different
case, when we found out our son Lex was being physically abused by his teacher,
I didn’t feel angry towards the lady who did it. If anything I felt very sad
for her. My anger was squarely directed towards the other teachers who had
witnessed this abuse towards many children over a seven year period! Why don’t
people act? Why do they protect themselves when someone who can’t stand up for
themselves is in need? Why, why, why?

I don’t understand it, because many times I have stepped
in on a violent situation, even when I knew I was putting myself in danger. I
can’t help it; because I’d rather have the shit kicked out of me, or be killed,
than feel the shame of not doing anything. I didn’t step in once, because it seemed like
some serious drugs were involved, however the shame of not doing something to
protect that woman ate away at me for a long time. I’m not claiming sainthood here;
it’s just who I am – standing up for people not able to do it themselves.
Sometimes I feel disappointed when I do it. Many years ago my sister and I
jumped in between a bloke who was beating a woman. When he left, she ran after
him… fuck it!

In recent months the world has been horrified by the gangrape/murder in India.
I feel heartbroken for that girl, her family and everyone involved. It was
disgusting human cruelty and it makes me sick. But what also made me sick about
that situation is no one helped her for an hour afterwards. She was lying naked
on the road, bleeding to death, and no one lifted a finger. Then another gang rape
on a bus in India a couple of weeks later - at least action has been taken. But there
have been more as well, including a woman raped and hung by her sari. But it’s
not just India. Here’s a story from China (it’s not nice viewing) where
onlookers did nothing when a man beat a woman on the street. Thirty people witnessed it and did nothing.

But if the world thinks it’s only the developing nations
who get up to this shit, we then have the rape in Ohio. This article is a good comparison between the brutal gang rape in India and this equally
brutal gang rape in America. Then again, watch this disturbing video where a football player laughs at what was happening to her – oh so bloody
funny. There’s a turd whose honour is worth protecting – not.

This town in Ohio is
making out it was the 16 year old girls fault for being raped and it’s all
about protecting the football team. Come-fucking-on – what sort of world are we
living in? Are the parents not completely disgusted by their sons? Apparently
not, because their future, as well as the future of the football program, is far
more important than this young girl. Don’t they have daughters in this town? I
just hope she gets the hell out of there, because in many people’s eyes, they
will always see her as a slut – a word I never use. Can’t a teenage girl get
drunk these days without being raped and urinated on? What fine, outstanding
pillars of society this community is raising. But don’t worry boys; the
community has got your back because it’s OK to do this to a girl – as long as
you’re good at sports. Terrific message huh?

On Mamamia - an Australian site I follow, but couldn’t get access to this article today
(?) - they posed a comment that deeply resonated with me:

With the way society
views rape these days, it appears "that it’s a woman’s responsibility to
not get raped, rather than a man’s responsibility to not rape." So girls,
once again, it’s our own stupid fault.

As you can probably
tell, it makes me bloody sick and it’s time for change. The first change is all
of us saying e-fucken-nough! The second change is for no one to stand around
and do nothing, or better yet, make that a criminal offence, although I believe
we should be driven to act in people’s defence by our soul, not because of a legal
requirement. The third change we need to address is the societal bollocks that
makes men think it’s even OK to do this – and the case in Ohio is testament to
this reality. It’s not OK, ever, to be violent towards any woman, for any
reason. And having a vagina does not make the woman responsible.

It’s not right, it
really isn’t. I don’t believe all men are rapists and I know that the vast
majority of men are bloody lovely blokes, but I am feeling outraged right now.
I’ve had enough of hearing these brutal stories and I’m even more pissed off by
the apathy of those standing witness and doing fuck all.

At least I know I'm raising two boys who'll stand up and be counted. Their Dad will make sure of it.

Yours, without the
bollocks

Andrea

PS: The
image above has been circulated
on Facebook recently with these words. I can’t give credit, because I don’t
know where it originated, but when all else fails, good to know the ladies in
pink have got your back…

"The Gulabi gang (from
Hindi gulabi, "pink", transln. "pink gang") is a group of
women vigilantes and activists... originally from Banda in Bundelkhand
district, Uttar Pradesh, India, but reported to be active across North India as
of 2010. It is named after the pink saris worn by its members.

The gang was
founded in 2006 by Sampat Pal Devi, a mother of five and former
government health worker (and a former child bride), as a response to widespread
domestic abuse and other violence against women. Gulabis visit abusive husbands
and beat them up with laathis (bamboo sticks) unless they stop abusing their
wives. In 2008, they stormed an electricity office in Banda district and forced
officials to turn back the power they had cut in order to extract bribes. They
have also stopped child marriages and protested dowry and female
illiteracy."

I grew up in country Australia, went to university in Melbourne studying music and ancient history, joined the Australian Army as a musician, entered the world of public relations, and then decided to head off around the world. That was 1995 and I'm still going, having lived in London, Boston, NYC, Thailand and Singapore - with a couple of short trips back to Australia in between. Singapore-based now, with an adorable husband and two rambunctious sons, my professional background is communication strategy and content marketying, with a focus on business and creative writing. My passion is people from all walks of life, and the amazing diversity of this extraordinary planet. I reckon life is pretty great, even though it can be crap sometimes too. I also blog extensively, with three blogs - my personal blog Without the Bollocks where I talk about life, my professional blog SAJE focused on all things communication, and a kids adventure blog for Singapore. Hey what can I say, I need to write!