When Motherhood is Your Job, But No One Sees

Every morning after my daughter is back to sleep, I pour actual hot coffee into my best Anthropolgie-inspired mug, sit in my all white office, glance at my magazine-covered bulletin boards, and then flip open my Macbook for my favorite morning ritual: The reading of the daily blog roll. At least this is what it looks like in my head. More often than not, I'm collapsing on the couch in my pajamas, looking for a way to veg out while I'll have some free time.

I tell you what, blogger Natalie Holbrook talks like I’m sure my very best friend and soulmate would. Blogger Naomi Davis can’t do anything that isn’t beautiful. And James? Well, she’s the world’s superest SuperMom if ever there was one. Plus, we can't even try to imagine how it is that the Pioneer Woman manages to accomplish everything that she does. Every week, their blogs climb ranks, their Twitter accounts rack followers, and each of them could post a picture of a tumbleweed and score a thousand 'likes' on Instagram.

This is not a knock on mommy bloggers, I swear. I’m as awestruck by these — and other — women, as is the next mommy. To the Internet stalker’s eye, they gracefully and effortless enjoy all of life, taking on one creative project after the next, somehow always managing to capture perfectly-in-focus photos of the sweetest moments in their days. To me, it’s a pleasant way to spend the morning: Scanning the photos and words of women who willingly share their thoughts, struggles, beauty, joy, and pain, making it easy to remember that, “Hey! Life is beautiful! and also, “When it’s not, we can all relate.”

Getting Paid for Being Mommy

The fascinating part about it all is how the Internet It Girls have made a career out of, well, it. Life. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to get paid for being a mommy. (Ha! Haven't you?!) It certainly takes effort to keep up on trends, to know the latest baby gear, to record life for the camera. Career blogging is work and I commend these mommies who find the time to do it all and who have us convinced that it’s always pretty and easy. We love you for it.

But this fact remains: Most women are not mommy bloggers. Oh sure, I have a blog. It is a daily account of whatever is on my mind, the outpouring of my soul, and proof positive that if you Google things long enough, you can rewrite your own HTML. I have a small readership and these people seem to like what I write; but at the end of the day, I’m simply not a mommy blogger. I'm just a mommy.

Sometimes, oddly enough, this feels like a shortcoming. Because whether or not we’re blogging about it, all of us moms, we’re working, and we are working hard. Being a mom is a job, even if it’s not a career. And as I’ve struggled with whether to keep a blog or not over the past few months, I’ve realized something: I do seem to want recognition for what I do on a daily basis.

I'm not the only one either. I’ve seen them all over the Internet, those mommies convinced that their blog is bound to be the next Cup of Jo and with enough blood, sweat, and tears, they’ll turn it into a means for living. Props to those who do. Still it’s not a reality for most of us mothers. We’re all here, on this side of the computer screen, trying to be that mom and wondering if all we do means the same thing without 146 comments telling us that it in fact does.

The Invisible Work of Motherhood

These thoughts are not a sob story, not a pity party, and not a platform to argue whether or not mommy blogging is a valid lifestyle, good for the family, or fair. All of that is nonsense. Today, these words are simply this: Mommies, fantastic job! I, like you, know the work of getting up instantly on-call, of scraping eggs from a high chair tray, the frying pan, and an uncooperative one-year-old's hair, of sitting on the floor more than a chair, of reading Baby Bear, Baby Bear, What Do You See? more than ten times before 10 a.m., of trying to figure out an ever-changing nap schedule, of using that downtime to climb the stairs and do the laundry and try to put yourself together. All of that is work. And, oh, it is such beautiful, life changing work.

That's right, Mommies. I can't see all of you, but I know. I really do know. I know what a difference you're out there making, whether someone pays you for it or not, whether someone comments on it or not, whether some days it actually feels like it or not. And today, well, I just wanted to say Bravo! Good job! And keep it up!