1.*_ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3.*_ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL _*.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"
4.*_ My mother taught me LOGIC_*.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5.*_ My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me."
6.*_ My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7.*_ My mother taught me IRONY_*
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8.*_ My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9.*_ My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM_*.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10.*_ My mother taught me about STAMINA_*.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11.*_ My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12.*_ My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13.*_ My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14.*_ My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15.*_ My mother taught me about ENVY _*.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16.*_ My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.
"Just wait until we get home."
17.*_ My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18.*_ My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."
19.*_ My mother taught me ESP_*.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20.*_ My mother taught me HUMOR_*.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.*_ My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _*.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.* _My mother taught me GENETICS._*
"You're just like your father."
23.*_ My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24.*_ My mother taught me WISDOM_*.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite:*_ My mother taught me about JUSTICE._*
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"