Ladies and gentlemen, this is SuperFeatherYoshi, and I have finally returned from my year long hiatus! And I did not return empty handed.

Today we are going to take a look at Courier’s Effect, a Fallout/Mass Effect crossover. And boy oh boy is it awful. The sheer amount of research failures puts Hammer Effect to shame. It also features arguably one of the biggest Mass Effect self-insert Stu the library has ever seen, whose Stuness, in my humble opinion, is second only to good ol’ 23.

Ladies! Gentlemen! It is I, SuperFeatherYoshi, and I have returned with my latest snarking! As you probably know already, I encountered some problems with my Fallout Effect riffing, therefore, that one’s on indefinite hiatus (again) for now. Fortunately, I discovered another story from FF.net’s XCOM crossover section that would do just fine. I present to you: Adapt and Survive!

Adapt and Survive is an XCOM/Fallout crossover, the only one of its kind on FF.net…. Or at least the only one in the category. (There was another, but it was a poorly written writing prompt.) There is another story, a one-shot called XCOM – Rotting Heros that’s technically a crossover with Fallout, since it ends with the aliens winning the war and retreating, leaving Earth a radioactive wasteland. But that story was in the X-Com category and not the crossover category, not to mention it has quite a few problems, such as the aliens obliterating most of humanity… And then just sort of gets up and leave. No enslaving, no modification, nothing. Which directly contradicts the aliens’ true agendas in the game. Also, the temple ship is named T’leth, I know it’s a reference to Terror From the Deep, but just how the hell did the humans know that name? I really don’t see the Ethereals installing speakers on their ship that keep blasting: “Puny humans! This is T’leth! The last thing you’ll ever see!!” in human languages while destroying every major city in the world. That just feels…. Cartoonish.

Plot regurgitation!Gearman took Priority: Sur’Kesh, a tense race against time, and reduced it into a husk of its former self, killing any and all tension with bland writing and Gary Stu protagonist.

Seriously, when your character can take out hundreds of husks with a single biotic attack, why the hell are we supposed to be worried about him when he’s taking on a single Atlas Mech?

But nooooo… We’re not done yet!

The Normandy then flew to Phoenix, the Stu planet, we get even more proof that Gearman has no idea how ME technologies work. Also, the Stu fleet destroys hundreds of Reaper Destroyers without even trying with “a plasma death ray combination”. It’s exactly as stupid as it sounds.