Limerick Poems About God | God Limerick Poems

He went the way of a sickly pigeon,
and dropped his nasty load on religion.
The evil ones hailed him,
power they availed him,
which increased his vanity a smidgeon
He declared himself the messiah,
From the depths of earthen hell fire,
The people believed him,
almighty pride seized him,
now he’s forcing God to retire.
You see there’s only room for one master,
to be God is what evil is after,
As enticing as it looks,
he and his cronies and crooks,
are setting the world up for disaster.
We Christians who always vote by rote,
keeping the Truths of our faith in a tote,
it’s we that keep evil in power,
We’ll know that in our last hour,
Right after we get thrown from the Boat.
Author's note:
I read that in the last presidential election, 57% of Christians
voted for the present administration which is currently in the midst of
of taking away their rights to conciencious objectionality and religious freedom
where the killing of babies ("abortion" for those of you who are still in la la land)
and the financial obligation for it is concerned
It is now desired by the present administration that Christians too pay for this
murderous and horrific agenda.
To the 57% of Christians who voted for the current administration: you got your choice
Are congratulations in order?
-Robert ADufresne

Linda the queen of Winda is in the swing of moods
She keeps the little dove on swing, on her eggs she broods
Little dove gives her a letter
God has written “you’re go-getter"
And soon you'll be better “the dove's eggs are your dudes"
The weeny dove goes to the queen with the full of beans
Eggs are brattling love is crackling and the dance begins
Dovelets jump to the queen's lap
Sweet queen Linda, you’re not in trap"
"Snow is melting; God is pelting love at your sheens"
Queen of Winda, sweetest Linda sits on a satin
In the light of candle her tresses glisten in preen
Dovelets dance around Linda
And Maramba and Bellinda
With a kinda smell of river Linda goes to teen
Contest: Fighting Depression(poems for PD)
Sponsored by: Shadow Hamilton
03rd December,2014
AFFIRMATION
WE ARE PRAYING FOR LINDA.ALL ARE PRAYING FOR LINDA.PRAYER HAS CONCENTRATED POWERTHE PRAYER WILL MAKE LINDA OKAY.WE ALL LOVE LINDA LINDA IS LOVEMAY GOD GIVE HER INNER PEACESANTIH SANTIH SANTIH

Donald Trump offered up a prayer
But God knew Trump wanted more hair
So Trump made a call
To The Wailing Wall
Where folks bang their head in despair
Trump MUST have his own Wailing Wall
With taxpayers funding withal
When folks on their knees
Are begging Trump, "Please!"
Its the grandest wailing of all!

This year I asked Santa for a Harley
and a flagon of wine made of barley.
Then I asked God alone
for an angel of my own...
no, not one of His, one of Charlie's!
December 2015
As a teenage boy I loved Cheryl Ladd.

What is truth's pure golden nugget?
A debt-free real balanced budget!
The concept is known
But history has shown
Great figures know how to fudge it
Author's note: The right wing wants to pilfer nature's bounty and destroy the natural balance to make us rich because god says it's OK The left wing wants to do the same--only more slowly and without god In the end, capitalistic greed is the real evil because it is taking us to a critical point of no return We really need to stop using smoke and mirrors and do an honest accounting.

Alas, it was the year of the scorned princess
when Diana did on Charles and Camilla dis!
But the Queen hid her dis-dain
yet through it all she did reign
and God saved her from her annus horribilis!
June 2015

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In the Pinta, Nina and Santa Marie
He found the New World,
And got spooked by a squirrel.
Thats the last you heard of C.C.
God had created the New World.
And saw that it was good.
In mystery it remained covered,
Till Columbus came and discovered
Just as his Lord knew that he would.
He sailed with the blessing of Spain
And when he dicovered the land,
He named it after Amerigo Vespucci,
('Cause he had not yet heard of Gucci,)
As God instructed him beforehand.
Charlie Pelota HSLP

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.
Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.
Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!” they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”
Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.
As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!
Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!
Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.
Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!

An Egyptian I never could be,
but since reading of their history,
in limerick form
I now write to inform
my friends of the Gods’ family tree.
From “Waters of Chaos” came Nun,
the only God under the sun.
The first piece of ground
rose up as a mound.
Hun stood there and coughed up a son!
Hun spat out the God of Air, Shu,
and he spat out a cute goddess too.
Tefnut was her name.
Moisture was her fame.
She and Shu beget children - two!
Their son was named Geb; the girl, Nut.
I’m not sure how to say her name, but
I sure like to say
Goddess Sky’s name the way
that rhymes with the famous King Tut.
When he laughed, the son Geb, “God of Earth,”
made the earth shake beneath his great girth.
I think Geb is busy
in modern days, for he
quakes often, for he’s fond of mirth!
For the tale to proceed, there ensued
some more incest, and not to be crude,
Nut, the Goddess of Sky,
got it on with the guy,
King of Earth, and they had a big brood.
There came forth from their coupling,
Queen Isis and a new Earth King,
Osiris, who was
a good king because
he ruled all rebirth, a great thing!
One son, against harmony, came
to kill Osiris, and his name
was Seth; once again
like the story of Cain -
an envious brother to blame.
But Seth got his just desserts when,
having married his Mom Isis, then
he was killed by HIS son,
named Horus, who won
the throne, and so “good” ruled again.
From Seshat to Sekmet to Rah,
Gods were worshipped by ancients with awe.
You’d have worshipped them too
had you been born to do
your poems on papyrusHa ha.

1.
There was a young man named Bruce
Who to the Middle East offered a truce?
He would build a brick wall
Over a thousand feet tall
Then paint it a dark shade of puce
2.
There was a young lady named Ruth
She sometimes forgot to tell the truth
Her mum would get mad
And so would her dad
But only while she was a youth
3.
Poor Peter was awfully well bred
And a Christian life he had led
Nobody cried
When the poor fellow died
They just gave him to god instead
4.
A final stab in the dark
It’s late and sod this for a lark
I just want my bed
But words whirl round my head
So I’m writing whilst out in the park
5.
Catch all you thoughts in a jar
Like the one about your favourite car
Keep em locked in a draw
Look at them some more
Then release them and let them fly far
6.
In cricket I batted a two
Round the field the ball it just flew
The bowlers just could not cope
As the ball hit the boundary rope
Soon a hundred I did accrue
7.
I’d like to ride a real tall horse
In the company of John Wayne of course
With Clint Eastwood by our side
Going for a long hard ride
With our six guns the law we’d enforce
8.
I once owned a Honda Accord
The only car that I could afford
I kept it pristine
Polished to a high sheen
It never let me down when abroad
9.
An old man of ninety three
Said he could not wait to see
His telegram from Queen
So a hundred he’d seen
Now that’s what I call optimistically
10.
At last I have reached number ten
As the ink has run out of my pen
I will get a refill
Take a headache pill
Then maybe start over again
If You managed to stay awake through this well so did I, and if you read them all then you deserve a medal, thanks for your patience, all the best Owen

I search for happiness
But never found it again
Though it will be pursued
It will never be attain
I got lost a long time ago
And I give my heart away
It’s been broken to badly
It didn't mend up till today
She left me alone in the dark
Didn't wait to see if I was alive
alone i suffered everyday waiting
For peace of mind to arrive
And it never did came
I would lookout the window
Asking god to please help me
And just make my misery go
But the goodness in life
Has turns his back on me
And left me stuck in a time
To suffer for eternity
Why she walk out the hospital
Why couldn't she see my pain?
Didn't she care that she might?
Never see me alive again
Now I’m scared for forever
Domed to face the world alone
Never will find a resting heart
And for ever my soul will roam
My heart is empty
But fill with love to give
But who is going to love me
A man who’s badly defective
So the long road of life
I must travel without love
I know my mother loves me
That the only love, I’m sure off
I wish to find love again
But afraid to get rejected
Then my heart will be broken
And die when it gets infected
Right now I love some one
And keep it secret
And talk to her everyday
But will never reveal it
Will always keep her in my heart
But can never have her in my life
And I know one day I will die
If she becomes another one’s wife
And through this lonely journey
Will have lots of obstacles
Some times when I get tired
I have an ice cream Popsicle

If for one week each man could be mother,
then men might think as mothers think.
Could you stand the life
Say of being your own wife?
Dirty dishes do not belong in the sink.
For one week, all men should run the home;
trade places with the cook for a real trip.
Think of planning every meal,
mashing potatoes with no peel.
Did you fix the faucet that’s started to drip?
You’d change the beds and clean the clothes,
of rust, blood, and ink there’d be no trace
Be a mind reader at times
solving children’s crimes,
you’d show your children God and his grace.
Part magician, part clown, part traffic cop,
you’d give birth, nurse all who need care.
Respond to each cry,
answer every “why?”,
know how to get bubble gum out of hair.
Of the women I’ve known who’ve been mothers
by men they can’t be supplanted.
Trade-offs are fun to ponder
and can make us wonder
why on earth men take mothers for granted.

It's hedged--but an allegory
Augments the lore in each story
Son Isaac he'd gore
But Abe knew at his core
Zeal with excess has no glory
Author's Note:
I believe the voice of god in the story
is Abraham's conscience.
The bible might just be
the first comprehensive psychology textbook
It's a string of pearls from people who faced
the same moral and ethical questions we do.

Overcome Anxiety
When maintaining our sobriety
We can overcome all anxiety
Problems and worries overcome
Regardless of where they came from
We will return back to reality.
When counseling we receive
After having to grieve and grieve
Some of the answers will appear
About life we do love so dear
Us behind God will not leave.
To God what shall we say today
Take our anxiety away will pray
After climbing to top of rope
Look high not low and always hope
Will have to wait for another day.
Some day soon will have been relieved
From all the things for that we grieved.
Believe in God and become awake
Always do everything for His sake
Reality again we finally retrieved.
Jim Horn

Two lovers with a second chance
At life enriched with sweet romance,
Repeat their wedding vows
In manner God allows,
With tasteful, simple elegance.
Loved ones and good friends gather near
Sharing in the joy and cheer.
Italian day is fair,
Blessing the happy pair,
Predicting future bright and clear.
May their good fortune never wane,
And sunshine over-power the rain.
Their love will be their wealth
In sickness and in health.
May their deep love always remain.
By: Joyce Johnson
For Linda-Marie's Loveland Limerick contest won a 5th in this
from photo j 17 6858

My Sullivano photographed bad
He was a simian ghost so sad
He was dispirited
Now he posed for an ad
" Uncle Sully goes to nuptial bed"
Meenie stands erect in the mews
This morning she has heard a news
Sully has gone to hell
To collect a bombshell
Safe for a ghost? she has to muse
My pet ghost Sullivan was quite beyond the pale
He smoked my tobacco pipe and sipped my ale
He danced before my wife
Who was a squid in real life
She Kicked his butt and he started chasing her tail
Sully kissed Meenie on the spur of the moment
She was nursing her ass a cute boil to foment
Love really ached
The cute boil was baked
Meenie screeched like a bitch Sully made no comment
Cubism or impressionism
Wife Laura looked through her prism
She saw the open sea
Made her eternal plea
God give me back my squidism
Sullivan/Sully/ Sullivano= my pet ghost
Meenie= my female tabby cat
Laura= my wife a squid

As I sit here and wonder where did it all go,
Why did I hurry to get here is something I do not know.
My life has pased by so quickly just a blink of the eye,
Can't remember all the things I've done or the reasons why.
What was the purpose of this it all seems so insane,
I'm left with nothing but emptiness am I to be the blame
Where are my friends and family am I the only one left,
I guess because of what I've done this is what I get.
This isn't what I was looking for not what I imagined at all,
There is nothing I can say or do and theirs nobody I can call.
Will it ever become clear to me why don't I understand ,
Is this that wonderful plan was that God has made for man?
The path I chose to follow always seemed to take so long,
I'm begining to believe that just maybe that I was wrong.
Thinking about all the things in my life that have come to past,
Down deep I have always known that they were never meant to last.
So this is what it is like to reach this old age of mine ,
I'm starting to see that it was never really about time.
Waiting seems to be all there is for me to do these days ,
Untill the time that light shines bright showing me my way.
Feeling much better now that I have come to see,
That there was a plan and it was made especially for me.
TAC

Somehow you flew in and hid
Right under my toilet lid
Ouite sure you were dead
'Little pest!' I said
Pity the poor Katydid!
Saw a leg twitch, God forbid
Guess what I done-gone-and-did?
'Okay, my green lass
Go die in the grass'
Pity the poor Katydid!
*** Katydids are harmless bright green insects with large wings in the cricket-grasshopper family

God said to old Noah – “No sweat
Gather two of all creatures you’ve met
Cram them all in a boat
And keep it afloat
All others will get mighty wet”
So old Noah he built him a boat
And for 40 days kept it afloat
Though the details are few
It’s the tale of the crew
That makes this of Biblical note
For God had this grandiose plan
And with water he covered this land
When the boat came aground
Wickedness had been drowned
“Cept the family of this righteous man
So what is the moral of the story?
Though the world may be cold and gory
When it’s all said and done
It will be righteous ones
That will bask in God’s greater glory
Mdailey
12/16/07

What is possible? You don’t know, my family isn’t so liberal.
Religion has matter for us, doesn’t matter woman is ever feeble
Although God is one, we all are brother and sisters as I believe,
Whom do I felicitate? Why is forgiveness and mercy scribble?
My Caste is scurrile for me and my family lived with degrading,
Nobody delivered me delectation but I was grown up in trouble
Pain and misprisal is a part of our life dejection enjoyed delectation,
I depart my home only to hide defame for my children’s reflectible.
You shouldn’t understand me why is appreciation pride for us?
Honesty and trust is mourned for me and love isn’t a festival.

Pharaoh divine, Amenhotep the fourth,
Could explain very own Sphinx head of course,
Having anchored in Mars,
His head stares at the stars,
Made only Mars, no divinity source!
They say proof is always in the pudding,
Or to tell you this story I wouldn’t,
One day in precept’s cars,
We’ll drive around on Mars,
Viewing the Sphinx, the god head that couldn't!
For Contest, ”Sphinx Head on Mars
In Honor Of: Carolyn Devonshire

Whenever they travelled in front
The Ark Of Covenant did confront
The kept it well lit
And that was just fit
Only some to God could talk'd affront.
Dorian Petersen Potter
Aka ladydp2000
copyright@2014
September, 8, 2014

Campaigning must be very laborious
For democrat Hilary Clintorious
Folks say she’ll oust Donald Trump
Enthroned when taking a dump
These nasty rumours are so darn spurious!
May God Bless America - she sure needs all the help she can get!
Thanks to Duke Beaufort for letting me use his line 'Hillary Clintorious'
1st August 2016

Between the devil and the deep blue sea
I find my god sitting straight on a scree
He wears an affable smile
Looks at the emerald isle
"Give the devil his due in you and me"
And the devil springs from his busty seat
The black cloud howls growls with the fall of sleet
Hedgerows under goolie nose
reads out from a runny prose
"Give the god his due in rye rice and wheat"
Gods and Devils - Poetry Contest
7th January,2015

Grandma, the little girl said
Where do we go when we’re dead?
We go with God up in heaven
She told the young girl of seven
And gently patted the top of her head.
Then my goldfish who died I can say
Is with God up in heaven today
Little brother yelled no
I know that ain’t so
Cause I saw mommy flush him away!