There is no 'secret plan', Mark Thompson said last week in a Guardian interview; the BBC director-general doesn't have a Plan B if and when the licence fee gets carved, top-sliced or swept away. He's merely banging the drum for more funding now: he isn't thinking about what happens if he loses.

But not having a 'secret plan' doesn't mean the BBC has put its children's sand-table away - or stopped throwing sand into eyes that keep a beady watch on BBC Worldwide. This separate, purely commercial, arm not only increases sales and profits time after time (£810m and £111m respectively last year) but voraciously buys up the like of Lonely Planet and an increasing number of independent production and distribution companies.

What would happen if the licence fee stopped or got sprinkled around the airwaves, as the Secretary for Culture, James Purnell, suggests? BBC Worldwide (prime candidate for a management buyout) would still sail viably on, taking its brand name, digital services, 90 million magazine sales and 300 million global viewers with it.

That looks a pretty good base for those who care about long-term survival - and then the BBC could also cop those more targeted public service subsidies Purnell talks about. 'BBC Pure' would get Radio 4, the Proms, Alan Yentob and an admittedly diminished licence fee; BBC Worldwide would get Strictly Come Dancing and loads of loot. Now, that's a plan worth having... if such a wheeze existed, of course.