In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of Amber Benson

So last week I tried something new. I went to a romance convention.

When I was growing up, the only convention I knew about was Gencon. But over the last couple of years, I’ve been around the block a bit. I’ve hit most of the big ones: DragonCon, San Diego Comic-con, WorldCon, as well as at least a dozen others.

Most cons I attend have two things in common.

1. They have had a strong track of writing programming. (Because I like talking about writing).

2. They’re sci-fi and fantasy themed. (Because that’s how I roll).

So how did I end up at a romance convention?

Well, first off. I was invited. Most of the conventions I go to, I go because I’m invited. This is because I’m lazy.

Second off, Romantic Times gave The Name of the Wind Best Epic Fantasy of the year in 2007. It’s nice to go to a convention where they think you’re cool. (Or at least where they thought you were cool back in 2007.)

Third, I was kinda curious as to what a romance convention would be like….

It was like this:

At one point I was in a crowded hallway, heading to a panel. Out of curiosity, I looked around to see if I could find another man. I couldn’t. I kept looking, then turned in a full circle. I still couldn’t.

The ratio of female authors to male authors attending the convention was at least 20 to 1. It was like the anti-gencon.

They have an event called the “Mr. Cover Model Contest” where strapping young men parade about on stage. I don’t know what the winner gets, but I hope the prize package includes a shirt. Those poor boys looked cold to me.

I bought a book for Sarah.

Because… y’know…. viking.

And honestly, that’s all I really have to say about the convention.

The other reason I went to this convention is that it’s in LA. I know some people in LA that I don’t get to see very often, so it was a good excuse to visit them.

Now those of you who have been reading the blog for a while might remember my first, shameful meeting with Amber Benson. Since then, we’ve gotten to know each other a bit, and when we were chatting on e-mail we came up with the idea of doing a reading and signing together when I was in LA.

So we did.

We got together for dinner first, and while we ate, we shared war stories about our books. Both of us had just written sex scenes for the first time, and we talked about how weird it was.

Then something happened. I honestly can’t remember the exact details, but I’m pretty sure I suggested that we should read our sex scenes at the event later that night. I was kinda joking, but not entirely.

Then Amber said the equivalent of, “I will if you will.”

Faced with a challenge like that, there was no way I could back down.

So about an hour later, we were standing in front of 100 people, telling them that we were going to read them some sex. They seemed okay with it.

I went first, reading the end of chapter 95. I got a little sweaty and red in the face, but I made it through pretty well, especially considering I’ve never read it out loud before.

Then it was Amber’s turn. We’ve both been busy lately, so we haven’t had a chance to reach each others’ newest books yet. So she’d thought my scene would be more explicit. She was worried her scene was way smuttier than mine. She started to read, then stopped and stepped away from the mic, shaking her head.

Now that I was done with my reading, I was pretty relaxed. I felt great, in fact. My reading was done, and I was all full of adrenaline.

“If there’s dialogue in there, we could read it together,” I joked.

Little did I know there was dialogue. So I was trapped. After an extended bout of being extremely flustered, the two of us read her sex scene together, giggling like third graders all the while.

Luckily, someone caught it on tape. You can witness the glorious debacle here if you want.

All in all, it was one of my favorite readings ever. And as a bonus, I discovered I can do a southern accent if I want to. Who knew?

That was glorious. Now I know I am in good company, because my friends and I regularly do dramatic readings of trashy romance novels and inevitably break down giggling like ten-year-olds. You, sir, have made this sort of behavior okay.

That video just about killed me I was laughing so hard. No joke. I nearly choked to death on an M&M that I’d sucked into my windpipe.

Oh god. So worth the pain. It took awhile for my eyes to stop watering so I could write this comment. Pat, you and Amber rock so hard. I could never read a sex scene, much less one I’d written, aloud to an audience. Hot damn. So many kudos to you both.

You realize that this video (which my husband and I watched together a when it showed up on Tor.com) has resulted in my husband sneaking up behind me at random inappropriate times to say “Hey, little lady” in a deep southern accent just to make me cackle loudly.

She seemed really sweet, if embarrassed… Too bad the video didn’t catch you reading from WMF, too. I’d like to add something about “living the dream” here, but I’m not sure I can do so and keep a straight face.

any mass market paperback is going to show a slight crack on the spine (or more) once it has been opened/read, even if it’s done gently. Unless you plan on selling the books after reading them there is no point to go out of your way to not crack the spine.
i love when a book is well worn. i feel that it has been loved. a lot of mine are so beat up it looks like a dog chewed on them, just from the number of people they have been loaned to and the amount of use they’ve had.

Funny you should say that as most veteran readers believe in things like holding a paper back a certain way, but I happen to agree with the idea that wear gives a book character and spirit (not to mention nostalgia).

Point in case my hardback copy of Name of the Wind was used so extensively green electrical tape now holds the seam together. And rest assured that my books have just as much value as any historian or librarian puts on their collections!

That was excellent! My friends and I find that reading these sorts of passages as a drinking game works best. Someone starts reading, and the first person to laugh takes a drink and then has to read. Also, old prospector voices work well.

I had so much fun, thank you and Amber for hosting this for us! I hope you got to use the Renaissance Faire tickets I gave you; and if not, I hope you passed them along to someone who did. Come out and visit LA more often!

i’m a big fan of your works. Especially i like the language in your books.
The last years i have been lurking and finally i have something to write about.

Great video, i like her shyness.

In Germany there ist a book reading show “Was liest Du?” (What do you read?) on a small station, with an famous Entertainer and his guests.
They did read the german translation of Jonathan Troppers book “How to talk to a widower”. Didn’t read the book, but i like Ina Müller the guest, a lot. I hope you understand the context.

I have been a silent lurker of your blog for the last 2 years.. After seeing this video, I had to register to just say… That was F@#KING Priceless! I laughed out loud no less then a dozen times during that reading.

My dear fluffy lord. That was hilarious! My boyfriend and I went to your reading up in Powell’s for your past tour, and you had us practically in tears there. But, this…I had tears rolling down my face! I love Amber Benson, and it was great seeing her being all shy and silly and serious at turns!

OMG. I… am dying of suppressed laughter. XD Definitely wasn’t a good idea to try watching this at work. ^^;;;

But I’ve gotta say–how brave of you to come to Amber’s rescue, volunteering to read with her like that! And you managed to stay amazingly composed through all of it~ Serious props, Pat–you looked friggin’ COOL. *__*

And, uh, no offense to Amber, but your sex scenes seem to be a bit more, uh… substantial than hers? ^^;; (at least, judging from that example) I would definitely take a VashetxKvothe scene over Random-Rapey-Walking-Cliche-Cowboy (he wears a cowboy hat on the subway…? ^^;;;; ) x Ms. Lets-Some-Guy-Do-Her-on-a-Dirty-Subway-Platform (eww) any day! Granted, I’m falling pretty madly in love with Vashet, so I’d probably take a VashetxAnyone sex scene over must anything else right now. ^^;;;;;

I think I may have to change my custom of reading Pat’s blog, first thing after logging in at work.
How do you explain chocked laughter and tears of hilarity to your collegues?
I’m sorry but there is no good explaination

This right about made my month, I think. I laughed so hard I cried! By the way, you should use that southern drawl all the time. Honestly, you did that so well you’d think you had rehearsed it. It was eerily good… Anyway, thank you for sharing what was probably your most uncomfortable experience this year, it was friggin hilarious.
May fortune smile upon you.

Oh man, I laughed sooo hard!!! xD
Thanks to the one who made the video!
Can’t wait that you – hopefully – come to Germany some time, Pat! I would absolutely love to go to one of your readings myself. It seems to be pretty funny…

I am a long time follower of your blog and first time commenter. Like Synjen, I needed to register and comment on this priceless video! It was a very large mistake to try and watch this while my roommate and his girlfriend were asleep 10 feet away from me. You are, without a doubt, one of my top three favorite people. Good on you Sir!

OK, that was totally, hilariously EPIC! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time…or felt such an acute sense of vicarious embarassment. As always, Mr. Rothfuss, you are the embodiment of awesomeness, but I have to say Amber Benson wins the AWESOME award this go ’round for overall hotness and a delightful giggle.

Pat,
Having been at the reading, I must say it was hilarious, and I loved hearing you read the bit from WMF. So glad you posted the video, as I can now show my wife, who laughed when I recounted how you said “good girl.”
I keep trying to match the breathy way you say it, but maybe I need to grow my beard a bit longer…
Slightly off topic,in answer to one of the questions at the reading, would you qualify Lies of Locke Lamora as “Urbic” Fantasy?

Hey Pat…long time reader (your books and blogs, in addition to tea leaves…and one of those isn’t true), first time commenter.

Question…you planning on putting any thoughts up about the new HBO adaptation of “Game of Thrones”? I just finished watching the first ep, and I’ve got to say that a) it’s pretty damn good and b) it’s impressive to see a fantasy novel (and the series, ultimately, one hopes) getting this kind of serious, intensive television treatment. Would be curious as to whether you’re watching and/or what your thoughts are.

well, I forced myslef to read this blog cause my one and only husband so crazy about “THE PATRICK ROTHFUSS”. I want to understand his world you know, still, it is very hard for me. he just cacao talk(which is a twitter for Korean) me to read this post and he had belly laugh in SEOUL SUBWAY, you might don’t know about the SEOUL subway around this time It is like “the big packed lasagna” Again, crab, I lost. you won.( I appology that I always call you “fussfuss” because I’m a Korean who can’t totally well understand the English and also for you to have existence huge part of my husband live.) I never knew that I have to jealous big beard guy for my husband. well, good job. If you can come to Korea, Please let us know, I will give you a punch, and he will give you every thing.( I mean everything… hate to admitㅠ_ㅠ)

Also, before I forget. I doubt you will read this but i’d like to ask you anyway. What advice would you give an aspiring author who wants to be able to write a story that they can look back on in 10 years and be proud of themselves. I know it hasn’t been 10 years since you wrote TNOTW but from my own experience and the general reaction i’ve seen with your book I am more then willing to grant you the opportunity to answer this prematurely.

Hahahah oh man that was amazing. I vacillated between wildly giggling and cringing in reflected awkwardness. Can’t even imagine how tough it must have been to read through a sex scene you’d written in front of an audience. Great southern drawl.

(Also I meant to post this comment earlier, but saw that there was exactly 69 comments and couldn’t bring myself to ruin it :P)

OK Pat…… your’s and Amber’s ongoing mission is to ……… organise a SciFi/Fan Con and a Romance con IN THE SAME HOTEL AT THE SAME TIME !! It’ll be like matter and anti-matter meeting …… don’t cross the beams !! etc

Maybe the readers of “ravished by a viking” will settle for a date with a Klingon ?

Seriously though… (well not that seriously)…. it was really interesting to see how you handled sex scenes differently. Ambers were Fantasy sex sent in the real world, yours was more real sex set in a Fantasy world. OK maybe Felurian was a little on the fantasy side, but skipping over that minor inconvenience, you have awkwardness, lyricism, vulnerability, sensitivity the frustration of Kvothe failing to score with Denna yet again !! The ordinariness of Vashet strapping up her breasts before the days training. No sign of hungry nipples stiffening here.

So you have a Romance con full of Women looking for fantasy in the real world and a sci/Fan con full of Men looking for realness in a fantasy world. Beautiful… and probably points toward something important… though I am not quite sure what it is yet.