Popular American Beauty Quotes

Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.

Lester Burnham: You don't think it's kinda weird and fascist?Carolyn Burnham: Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.Lester Burnham: Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.

Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience.Manager: Yeah, like 20 years ago!Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.

Carolyn Burnham: Well, I see you're smoking pot now. I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter.Lester Burnham: You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grabbing freak.

Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing?Lester Burnham: Nothing.Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating!Lester Burnham: I was not.Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were!Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!

Lester Burnham: When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track.Ricky Fitts: That sucks.Lester Burnham: No, actually it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me.

Angela Hayes: What a freak! And why does he dress like a bible salesman?Jane Burnham: He's just so confident, it can't be real.Angela Hayes: I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even like, look at me once!

Girl on Playground: You are a total prostitute.Angela Hayes: Hey! That's how things really are. You just don't know 'cause you're this pampered little suburban chick. Girl on Playground: So are you. You've only been in "Seventeen" once and you looked fat! So stop acting like you're goddamn Christy Turlington!Angela Hayes: Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me.

[narrating] Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.

Brad: [reading Lester's job assessment] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.Lester Burnham: Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.