Tuesday, September 9, 2014

You've been on my mind non stop....how you would have loved seeing Elli on her birthday, how you would have loved hearing all about their first days of school, how you would have loved seeing Addi's senior yearbook picture. You would have gushed about how beautiful she looked and been so proud to see her wearing your necklace. I think about how I would be visiting you each week and bringing the kids to see you. Cal misses taking out your trash, and Drew misses doing your laundry. They all miss your cheerful and excited greetings and giving you a hug. I got a phone call from your doctor today asking you to come in and schedule an appointment. I guess he didn't know. I watched a video of a sweet elderly lady dancing in the street, and it reminded me of you. Cal asked me where we would go on December 23rd....your birthday, and I told him I didn't know. I haven't been able to sleep much, and I find myself feeling lost and lonely. I keep trying to remember your voice and smile and laugh and so much about you....I don't want to forget. It scares me to think I might. I find myself feeling sad knowing I don't have you to experience Addi's senior year with me. Today is a day when I just need to be sad and miss you with my whole being. I miss you mama.

About Me

Why I Think Out Loud...

I started journaling several years ago when I realized that I couldn't possibly remember every milestone, cute phrase, wonderful expression, heart tugging word or life changing action that occurs within my own family. I had to face the fact that my brain has become fuller and fuller with each baby born and each day that passes; and now it's overloaded. I find myself having to write down everything from a daily "To Do" list to much more important things like the first time my son kissed me on the lips. I don't want to take anything for granted and chance that I might not remember. I journal in a notebook, in my own handwriting, with the intent and hope that someday my sweet buttercups will cherish having these journals in their mama's own handwriting. I started this blog, because there are some things that are meant to be shared and some things that I hope someone will read and enjoy. Maybe I can learn something from a reader or two as well.

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I am happy to say....

Jesus is my first love!

My children are beautiful, inside and out!

I'm as happy as I've ever been!

NPayne thinks I'm beautiful!

I LOVE vintage!

I live in America!

I let my children get dirty!

I thoroughly enjoy Bible Study!

I'm addicted to linens!

I enjoy watching football on TV!

I live in a house full of imagination!

I pray for world peace!

I support our troops and pray for them daily!

I am VERY sentimental!

My parents were married for 40 years!

I love thrift stores and flea markets!

My favorite room in my house is the nursery!

There are 4 princesses and one prince in my house which makes me a Queen!