How To Make Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine

There are two types of people in this world; Those who pee in the shower and think straight moonshine tastes like shit, and dirty fucking liars.

I can honestly say that I’ve had enough moonshine in my life to consider myself a bit of an authority. However, me saying I’ve drank so much white lightning because I like the taste is like saying I like buying girls drinks because I have extra money in my pocket. I drink shine because there is no other alcohol on earth that can get you drunker, faster with very little effort.

But again, I don’t like the taste. I DO however absofuckinglutely adore Sweet Apple Pie moonshine. And I have a recipe for Sweet Apple Pie Moonshine that I’ve concocted that you can make in your own kitchen with little more than a big pot and a measuring cup – And it is beyond phenomenal.

Before we get to the recipe, let’s get one thing out in the open. It is absolutely ILLEGAL for ANYONE to make, transport or consume moonshine in the United States. Period. I don’t give a crap what your uncle Eustice or Pappy or cousin Shelby-Joe who once fucked a guy who claimed to be an FBI agent in a truck stop bathroom says, you can’t legally make or possess any amount of moonshine.

So how are we going to make LEGAL moonshine? We’re going to improvise. You see, moonshine is around 180 to 190 proof, or about 85% – 95% pure alcohol. The closest legal thing you can get is Everclear which is sold in both 151 proof and 190 proof. In other words, you can buy legal alcohol that is the exact same thing as illegal moonshine. And tastes just as horrible in its pure state.

The only thing that makes one moonshine better than the other is what you cut it with. Lemons, cherries, peaches or in our case a mixture of apple cider, apple juice and two kinds of sugar.

Take the apple juice and apple cider and put it in a big pot and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, stir in the sugars until it’s dissolved. Remove it from the heat and let it cool to room temperature. Once cooled add in both bottles of grain alcohol. The Captain Morgan is optional but I think it adds a nice little spice to the mix. Pour the mix into the jars and add 1-2 cinnamon sticks to each one.

Now you can drink this stuff right off the bat and it is great heated up like hot cider. But the optimal waiting period is two weeks to give the cinnamon time to seep in.

Heed these words…this stuff is dangerous. It’s super easy to drink and will creep right up on you in a hurry and put you under the table. I’ve made a few batches of it and so far it’s made great gifts for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I made this tonight. I used home.made corn shine 130proof. 2.5 liters. I did not add any capt Morgan’s. All other ingredients to a T. Made 10 Quart jars. And it turned out amazing. Flavour was spot on. We enjoyed 4 quarts tonight between 4 of us. 1 quart each and was great. I wouldn’t change a thing.

–Sotol Moonshine– Now this stuff is some fucked up shit. There was a time 30 years ago when I lived along the Mexican border near Big Bend and every now and then I’d go to a place called Kingston Hot Springs (now called Chinati Hot Springs). One night I decided to go there, chill out, take a HOT bath and hang out with my friend who owned the place. I called and reserved a cabin for the weekend. I knew things weren’t going to go well when I smashed an owl and ground it into the grill of my truck.

Anyway, so I get there and it’s pitch black and get out of my truck and the next sign things were gonna get fucked up his shitty little terrier runs up barking and bites the back of my fucking leg! Goddamnit! He brings me in his dining room patches up my bleeding leg and goes and gets this ‘jerry can’ and two glass ‘thimbles’.

‘What the fuck is this?’ I asked while putting band-aids on where his fucking dog bit me. Now my friend is a 6’7″ huge ex-marine and he tells me it’s sotol moonshine.and I laugh almost falling out of my chair! ‘Why the two pussy shot glasses then?’. ‘Um…you’ll see, you little twerp.’ and he pours this greenish clear liquid into the ‘shot glasses’, we make a toast and knock that shit back. YUMMY! That shit was so smooth, somewhat firey and went down like it was silk with hardly any kick. He asked if I wanted another and fuckin’ A you bet I did this stuff was badass juice.

‘A Mexican family comes over every now and then to spend the weekend and they pay for the cabin with 10 gallons of sotol moonshine.’ and I knock back a 3rd shot. I’m beginning to feel even warmer on this hot summer night. Then he tells me that I really need to respect this stuff and I guzzle a 4th shot.

After the 6th shot I swear I’m starting to hallucinate and seein’ naked chicks and he won’t pour me any more of this hairy stuff. We talk a little more and I tell him to show me where my cabin is. Holy Shite I stand up very unsteady and fall ass-backwards and my friend catches me and walks me to the cabin.

Sotol is a yucca like plant that grows everywhere around here and is very similar to agave azul that they make tequila from only sotol grows in Chihuahua. If you can ever some of this nasty shit in Chihuahua you’re in for quite a night running around naked, howling like a rabid dog and pissing in the middle of the highway.

So we followed the receipt to the tee with the exception of the rum and ended up with 23 1/2, 16oz jars. We’re not complaining by any means because it turnedd out awesome!!!! Just wanted to let anyone that uses the receipt know that you’ll need more jars than what’s listed. Next time we’re going to try half the batch with Capt. Morgan.

Directions: * Boil sugars with cider and juice with spices and sticks, LET COOL as cooling add concentrate then mix in copious amounts of alcohol. * apples slices and a cinnamon stick in each mason jar * Will make about 5 gallons of apple pie * For the left overs- fill jar with apple slices and shine a cinnamon stick and clove or two * Let set for a few weeks if possible longer it sets the better it gets

I’ve been making my recipe for over 5 years now. I supply a few famous rock bands and comedians and they say it’s TheBest they ever tasted. The trick to mine its Real Moonshine. I distill to 180 proof. Then add that to 1 gallon apple cider and 1/2 gallon apple juice than cinnamon sticks,white sugar brown sugar vanilla and a couple secret spices I only add a quart of shine to this and it comes out perfect every time

So just a thought as I read some of your wonderful post with a vocabulary just like mine. I’ve been thinking about whipping up a batch of Apple peye and was curious have you fellas or anyone you know ever used say fireball cinnamon whiskey rather than cpt. Spiced rum. Thank you.

If you don’t like the pulp, as most don’t, you can use a bar strainer. It’s a metal mesh strainer that works much faster than a coffee filter. Can be hard to find sometimes, but always available at a restaurant depot in your area.

I call my Apple Pie “Kentucky Country style. ” Have you ever noticed the ouzzy stuff In an Apple PIE? It’s all the flavors and spices. And it settles to the bottom of my jars. I label them”SHAKE WELL to dissolve the spices and flavors.” I add cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, cloves, vanilla, and almond extract, I ” flavor” to taste. Remember, it’s “Country Style” Down home and original.

I’ve been making the same recipe for a long time. The only thing I’ve changed recently is rather the the captain I put either Jim Beam honey or Jack Daniel honey. It just adds another layer of sweet in there. And I also tend to go 2-3 cups brown one cup white on the sugar. Also you can filter through a few coffee filters if you want that golden brown not so cloudy look but I leave it in.

Some whole allspice in boiling mixture adds some good flavor…ground allspice will work. I don’t mind ground spices floating around. Havent tried it but cloves or nutmeg might be good also.. might try them on next batch.

I would like to know how your end result is that beautiful, clear jar of liquid fire if you use apple cider with lots of pulp. When I made this, it was very cloudy and had lots of sediment that eventually settled at the bottom of the jars. Did you filter out this pulp and, if so, how?