In case you have been under a rock for the last little bit, it has been confirmed that Osama Bin Laden is dead. As with everything related to these kinds of things, the reactions have varied from fear, to cautious optimism, to down right partying like it’s 19fucking99. I certainly hope that said partying doesn’t cost more lives, but I remain reserved in my reaction for now due to the fact that this is far from over. In my thoughts I keep the civilians, at home AND abroad who have had their lives snuffed out due to these wars…and with it the VERY slight amusement that Obama accomplished this in less time than Bush. Makes the whole proceedings look a little unnecessary, eh?

So yeah, that happened. And now that it’s safe to go back to London, I’m planning my trip. Londoners, I’ll be in town the week of June 1, right after the bank holiday/Memorial Day weekend. Harpying with y’all was the highlight of my trip last year, so let’s do it again. E-mail me at beckysharper@harpyness.com and we’ll set something up.

As suggested by awesome regular reader and commenter rodriguez, and in honor (?) of that big nuptial to-do across the pond (since I guess the bride’s family crest–which doesn’t exist–needs to be integrated into the groom’s? IBTP.)

If you’re middle-class (at best, like Ms. Middleton and me) you’re gonna have to make one up out of whole cloth. So what would your coat of arms look like? You can take a gander at the various heraldic imagery at siteslikethese, and then decide what to choose, but they offer a pretty limited number of options.

Bars and stripes and rampant and couchant lions, oh my! Crests: the tattoos of the fancy, old-money set.

The shield up there is totally bogus of course, but the dragon seemed the closet thing to a harpy, and I thought a Latin translation of “Killer of Boners” was a totally klassy touch. If I were to do it from scratch and purely my choosing, I’d probably have to stick in a book, or a pen, and probably a 2-liter of Diet Coke, as my weapons of choice. And probably a cat. Or a dinosaur. Giving the finger.

Jesus H. Christ with a speculum, y’all. Two more attacks in the Republican war on women’s health have really got my blood boiling. First, to Oklahoma, where Tulsa World writes:

Rep. Jason Murphey, R-Guthrie, moved to amend a senior nutrition bill so that it prohibits independent contractors from distributing federal funds for a program that feeds mothers, babies and small children.

Why would Murphey do such a thing? Because Planned Parenthood of Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma, based in Tulsa, is among the nine independent contractors that administer the federal Women, Infants and Children feeding program. Debate over the amendment made it clear Planned Parenthood was the target, observers say. Planned Parenthood has become a favorite target of the right wing lately over the abortion issue, even though Planned Parenthood in Tulsa doesn’t perform abortions.

You know how feminists always say the antis wants to force women to have babies but won’t do a damn thing to help feed/care for them? Yeah. Except now they’re actively trying to deprive babies of food as part of the “pro-life” movement. It’s downright sadistic.

A side-eye also goes to Indiana, which is poised to cut all funding to Planned Parenthood. Their House of Representatives approved a bill yesterday to cut off the $3 million the state distributes for family health programs. Governor Mitch Daniels, who has his eye on a possible Presidential bid, is likely to sign the bill just to bolster his woman-hating cred with the ultra-right base of the GOP. A similar defunding measure is also in the works in North Carolina. Now, in Oklahoma and Indiana, and everywhere else in the US, these GOP politicians’ wives and daughters will still be able to get their birth control and pap smears, and yes, even their abortions if it comes to it. But when it comes to women who rely on Planned Parenthood for health care—and even for feeding their families—Republicans are willing to shout “abortion” any time a doctor gets near their vaginas, just to have an excuse to score some points with their radical base.

Earlier this week, I was reading the Boston Globe over lunch at work and I happened to find this interview with Andrew Harris, assistant professor of criminal justice and criminology (UMass-Lowell), about the sexually-explicit online and cellular behavior of adolescents.

Lestrade and Sherlock are overage. Still, the slash writes itself.

Some of what he had to say was, I thought, fairly insightful. For example:

K….sooooo….this is where I try to be fair and balanced. Not sure if that’s going to work out so well, because I am a dipper (nickname for

Do my politics get your vote? Okay, how about now?

those who vote NDP). As Canada’s most visible left leaning party, they’re pretty much encapsulating what us lefties are suggesting. They want to raise corporate taxes, improve the environment, better help those in need and stand for LGBT rights like no other party does. So much so that the NDP was the first political party to sign on to the Declaration of Montreal and their MP Bill Siksay was responsible for Bill C-389, which unfortunately died after the election call. A big one for a huge segment of the population is that the NDP wants to improve the status of Aboriginals and better the relationship with Canada. Of course, this is only some of the highlights and I encourage people to check out the NDP platform here.

What was an upstart party in 1961 at the hands of Tommy Douglas (better known as the father of Universal Healthcare) has had its share of history. During the 1972-74 minority years of Trudeau the NDP worked with the government, passing some pretty progressive stuff. However when the NDP decided to work with conservatives in a vote of non-confidence in 1974, it backfired, giving Trudeau a majority government at the expense of NDP seats. The height of NDP popularity happened under leader Ed Broadbent, who was a vastly popular figure in Canada. Their record number of seats in the house sits at 43 after the 1988 election. Unfortunately for the NDP, it went on a decline after Mr. Broadbent stepped down. Thanks to infighting about various things like Western alienation and Quebec Nationalism combined with disasters in provincial politics and the creation of the Reform Party, the party lost it’s traction to the point that after the 1993 election the NDP was routed. Gaining only 9 seats, they were 3 seats short of official party status. Under Alexa McDonough, the NDP made breakthroughs in Atlantic Canada, breathing life back into the party and seeing 21 seats after 1997. Although after pissing off the CAW union for trying to move to a more centrist position and having party members cross the floor, support was falling and the seats fell to 13 by 2000. Ms. McDonough stepped down in 2002 due to family reasons.

I’ve been having this internal debate recently on whether or not it is acceptable or not to stay friends with a friend or relative’s former partner. When my uncle divorced his second wife, my family was devastated because the realization of their divorce meant we wouldn’t see her anymore. And would it be awkward if I called my now ex-aunt and asked her to hang out? I mean, we were really close, but I don’t even know if that’s okay, especially since the divorce was brutal and she and my uncle are no longer on speaking terms. Even worse is that he married again and I’m pretty sure that my family is constantly comparing his third wife to his second wife (um, his first wife is no longer mentioned) and not in a good way.

I was thinking about this because one of my close friends recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years, mainly because he wanted to get married and she wasn’t ready. The only problem is that everyone in our circle of friends liked him. Now we’re faced with the dilemma of:

Do we add him on Facebook? Is that wrong?

Should we still invite him to hang out in social settings?

If so, should we not invite her because they are no longer on speaking terms?

If we don’t invite her, wouldn’t that make us bad friends because we were friends with her first?

If we do hang out with him, would he feel awkward since he knows we are still friends with her?

Is it okay to email every so often to see how he’s doing?

Should we just let it go and figure he’ll be better off without us constantly reminding him of that relationship?

One of my other friends, who is close with her ex-boyfriend’s mom, gave details on their relationship (they get manicures and such together), but I think that’s a little different, right? I don’t think it’s that big of a deal to stay in touch with an ex’s mom. Help me harpies! I have friendship and family drama right now and am in need of advice.

The PBS show American Experience aired a new 90-minute documentary on the Stonewall riots (28 June 1969) called Stonewall Uprising this past Monday. I didn’t have a chance to watch it this week, but will be checking it out when I have a chance to watch it online or on DVD. Did anyone else catch it? If so, thoughts on the interpretive narrative?

Although I have done my damnedest to ignore your Royal Wedding gibberings which have been crowding my world as of late, one major angle you continue to hammer away at prompts this outpouring of seething hatred:

Quit. Comparing. Diana Spencer and Kate Middleton. Yes, I get that there’s the whole pretty-princess-fairytale-national-holiday puke show that’s being engineered to sell things no one needs. And I understand that tragic dead ladies and pretty young things are involved. You’ve got the taste of blood in your mouth. But the for the love of any journalistic standards you may have ever held close to your ink-stained bosom, these two women have in fact very little in common, apart from being white, conventionally attractive, English, and marrying into the same family.

Stretching and chopping their individuality to fit the Procrustean bed of “Magic Wedding Princess” is a hideous disservice to each of these women, and to women in general, who are already squeezing and pinching themselves to meet the models that you perpetuate in your endless quest to sell people to your corporate product overlords.

If you are so very dedicated to the ideals of royal dignity and the pleasures of companionate/romantic marriage, then cut it the fuck out. I might compare you to ravening turkey buzzards, driving your prey to its death so that you may gorge upon its exhausted, sad, and bloated corpse, but I am loath to so insult my sister raptors, the turkey buzzards.

If you enjoy the special fizz of pro-ana marketing, have a Coke Light the next time you’re in Italy. Every single fucking can or bottle is adorned with a bobble-headed cartoon skinny chick, presumably what all diet soda drinkers aspire to look like.