My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

It’s been a busy but good week. Not much time for Susan with Thanksgiving and family. It was fun but I was really looking forward to Saturday and some Susan time. Speaking of which, for all you that celebrate Thanksgiving I hope you had a wonderful day. I want you all to know I am thankful for all of you, my wonderful friends I have met as Susan. Okay back to my day.

Now I am still working out at the gym so when I got home I called the nail salon to see if I could get in for a manicure as I really needed one as I broke a nail yesterday. I got an appointment for 5 so I started getting ready. There is just something about getting ready to go out that I really enjoy. I was already by 4:30 in my black skirt, sweater top and heeled boots, it really is a cute look. I had time as it only takes a couple minutes to get to the nail salon.

I got to the nail salon and they weren’t busy, guess everyone was out shopping. there was one lady getting a pedicure and one getting her nails done so I didn’t have to wait. Annie started on my nails, it is such a relaxing feeling. She removed the old polish and then started on my nails. I had her trim my nails back as they were a little on the long side. Now it was time for the polish. She asked if I wanted my normal clear pink which really is just a clear and I said yes. She went to get the gel polish as I went and washed my hands.

I got back to the table and Annie told me she was out of the clear pink but said she had a new one that was close. she put a little on my finger and it looked pretty close, maybe should have taken a better look before I said yes. Well she started on my nails and I really do love the experience of getting my nails done. she got the first coat on and it did have a light pink color to it. when she got the second coat on it was a light pink but it also had sparkles in it. It really was a pretty color and look. I was having second thoughts about the nail color but there wasn’t a lot I could do now. I would decide later as I could always remove it at home if I had to although it would take time.

I left the salon about 5:40 and was on my way to the Escape. I knew Nicole would be there tonight as she had contacted me on Facebook that she would be in town, other than her I wasn’t sure as I knew a couple girls were out of town for the holiday and being a holiday weekend might keep people away. Of course I had my computer with me. I got there at 6 and went in. I ordered dinner and played on my computer for a little bit till Nicole showed up.

It was great to see Nicole again, turns out she came down just for the evening and will go home tonight. I was so proud of her as she made the trip as Nicole. She even left here house as Nicole even though she didn’t put her wig on till she got out of her neighborhood. I remember when I did that being worried my neighbors would see me and figure it out. It really is a journey we are all on and we grow and expand our lives and that is a wonderful thing. It was great to see her again and talk with her. We had a nice time as we waited to see if anyone else would show up.

There really are some wonderful people who come here that I have met. One of the ladies who works here was here tonight with her niece. She came over and talked with me and told me how great it was to see me here and she wanted to bring her niece over to meet me. She brought her over and introduced her to me and Nicole, It really was nice.

Jan, Lynn and Cristine also showed up. It was great to see them out again. We all sat and talked for a while it was turning out to be a wonderful evening. Teresa Laura M. and Diana also showed up so we had a good group tonight. I got to talk with Teresa which was nice. She doesn’t come out with the group that often so it is always nice when she does. We all had a wonderful time talking till Karaoke Started.

Nicole could stay to late as she had a 2 hour drive home so she left a little after 9. It was sad to see her leave but so nice she could make it down for a while. She might be back in a couple weeks so that would be nice. We listened to Karaoke and of course a few of our group sang. It was really fun. I stayed till a little after 10 before I called it a night. I didn’t stay out as late as I was worried about my nails and wanted to leave time to soak off the gel polish if I needed to.

I got home and put my matte polish on and the shine went away and they looked like I could get by with them without to mush issues as they had just a dull light cream color. Now what I have found is that things look different Ii n florescent light. As Sunday when I left for work and was driving away and in the natural day light my nails really did have a pale frosted pink color. Probably good they are short right now. So here are some pictures of my nails before I put the matte polish on. I am going to keep them though as next weekend I can remove the matte polish and have pretty pink nails.

well I couldn’t make it out Friday night so I was looking forward to Saturday night even though I couldn’t stay out late. Now this week was our groups trip t Salem to go to the South Side Speakeasy. Our group has been trying to go down there once a month as we have several of our group that live down there and come up to Portland to go out with us. I have been there once many years ago as I went down to meet Alice who really helped me start going out but I haven’t made it down there lately. I was hopping to tonight but they don’t meet till 9 and as it is an hour drive I would have had to leave by 10 so I just couldn’t bring myself to go as I was pretty tired from the last few days.

I decided to go to the Escape for dinner as I knew Samantha, a friend of mine from Eugene was in town and wanted to g to the Escape. Wasn’t sure if any others from our group would show up. Now I didn’t know what time she would get there but I wanted to get there early just so I would have a little more time out. I started getting ready at 4 with the hopes of being to the Escape by 6. I actually got to the Escape by 5:50 so I did good.

Now I did bring my computer as I usually do so I could update my blog from Wednesday, as I said it has been a busy week. I try to do my blog the next day as it is still fresh in my mind but I don’t always make it so I an a few days behind. I worked on my blog while I ate dinner.

Samantha showed up about 6:40, it was great to see her again. She gets to Portland every few months. I put my computer away and we started talking. One of the things we talked about was our neighbors and if they knew about our other side. Now I know one of my neighbors knows for sure. I don’t know if other of my neighbors do but I have to believe there is a chance many of them do as I am sure some talk. Samantha also wonders and thinks it is possible some of her neighbors may know also. It is one of those things I think most people would walk up to you and say. We also talked about shopping which we both like to do. It was nice to get a chance to talk with her.

Katie also showed up which was nice. We got a chance to talk and talked about traveling as a female. We would both love to try to fly sometime as our female self, I think that would be a fun experience. Katie is thinking of going to Diva Las Vegas next year and may fly down as Katie. For those interested it is the last and is so much fun. Now Katie didn’t stay out late as she was leaving town so soon it was back to just Samantha and me and we kept on talking. Missy showed up and joined us so we had 4 that showed up tonight. It was getting late and Samantha had a 2 hour drive home so she left. I stayed a little longer to listen to a little Karaoke. It was about 10:30 when I left for home. It was a fun night even though it was short.

Okay busy week and I am a little behind in posting this blog. Wednesday night I went out to dinner with my friends at Who Song & Larry which is always a fun night. actually like these dinners when I can make them as they are smaller groups and a lot easier to talk with everyone. I started getting ready when I got home from the gym. I really love this time as it is so relaxing. With my makeup done it was time to pick out what I would wear, I decided on my black skirt, sweater top and my boots. I really like this look.

We were meeting at Who Song & Larry’s at 7 for dinner but I was early. I got there about 6:15 and parked. I was just getting ready to get out of the car when I got a phone call from family so I sat in the car to talk. I watched Cassandra and Melissa walk by while I was talking. It was about 6:30 when I got inside, Cristine was also there already.

They weren’t really busy so we were taken right to our table. We had a table for 8 even though we didn’t know how many would show up. Julie showed up right after we go to our table and that would be it for the night, just the 5 of us. We sat and talked till about 7:30 just incase others showed up. now the bad thing about this is they serve salsa and chip which they make here and they are so good. I think we all could have made a meal out of just that. Yes I ate way to many chips.

We ordered dinner and most of us got there special which was really good as always. It was a fun night and we sat and talked about so many things. We had a really nice time, it was almost 10 when we left.

Saturday is here and I am looking forward to a fun night out but first an update on my going to the gym. Yes I am still going to the gym almost every day although the last week were short workouts as I hurt my leg so today it is feeling really good so I did a full workout. I was back on the elliptical today. I did 60 minutes on level 12 and 5 minutes on level 6 going forward 65 minutes total and 3.93 miles. After that I did 20 minutes going backwards 10 minutes on level 6 and 10 minutes on level 1, this was my longest workout yet. Okay on t more fun things such as Susan.

I started getting ready at 4 and took my time getting ready. It was so relaxing. I was ready by 5:30 and I chose my red dress tonight. I got to the Escape at 6 which was earlier then others so I was by myself for a while. Of course I had my computer with me to pass the time till others showed up. didn’t have to wait long though.

Nicole was the first one to show up. She was in town again tonight and had let me know she would be out. I always look forward to seeing her. She only gets to Portland every few months and it is always nice to catch up with her. WE had a nice time talking while we waited to see who else would show up. Kris and Bambi were the next to show up along with a friend

Cristine finally showed up as her ride was late and Laura H. and Lisa also showed up so we had a small but fun group. Some of the girls played pool for a while the rest of us talked. A lady at the bar came over to talk to us, turns out she recognized me from my blog. Her name was Elaine so I asked her to join us. Turns out she transitioned years ago. Would have never know had she not told us. She live in Portland now and was out for the evening. It was nice talking to her and she seems really nice, It was nice to get to know her as I always like meeting new people

Karaoke started and that is always fun to listen too although it makes it hard to talk as it gets loud.We still talked some as we listened to the singing. It was a fun night. It was almost midnight when I called it a night

I am always so glad when Friday gets here as not only do I have a few days off to rest but I have time for Susan and that makes it wonderful. I am still going to the gym but using different machines and shorter workouts to give my leg a chance to fully recover. Any way I got home from the gym about 4 and started getting ready. I really love this time, the transformation time. It is a time to relax and enjoy going from my boring male side to my female side. It is funny because when I say stuff like this I always get someone who takes it as I am wanting to transition. No I do not want to transition. I have lived all my life as a male and even the last several years the major part of my life is male and it really is the same thing. It is fun and relaxing to be Susan to be Female for a time. Now I will admit if money was no object and I didn’t have to work I would spend more time as Susan, yes it would probably be the majority of my time but there would still be times I would want and need my male self. So when people tell me that eventually I will realize I want to transition that is what I tell them. I am not unhappy with my male side and I need that part of me also, that is how I know I wont transition. Anyway I can feel the stress go away and I fully relax as I become Susan and that is wonderful. Everyone should find something they can do to feel this way.

I was on my way a little before 6 which is just a little earlier than normal. I got to Sweet Home and found a parking spot in their small lot. Chris and Roxy were already there, Chris playing pool as normal. Now they had their New York Steak dinner tonight which is awesome so I ordered it. They really do have wonderful food here but I think this is my favorite, and it was wonderful. Now I did bring my computer as I knew I would be early so I spent some time catching up on e-mails and other things. Now it was kind of slow tonight but that was okay. It was fun just being out and being myself and being accepted as who I am, that is a wonderful feeling.

It wasn’t long and Laura H. and Lisa showed up, it was good to see them out on a Friday night. We had a good night out as always. Heather also showed up and it was wonderful to see her again. I met her right after we started coming here and she is always happy to see everyone and always has a hug to give.

Soon it was time for Karaoke and a few more people showed up but it was still a smaller crowd tonight but fun. I tried to stay as long as I could but by 11 I was getting tired. it is funny as a few years ago I wouldn’t even get out till 9 and we usually closed down places. I guess I am just not as young as I use to be. I left about 11:15 to head home but it was a great night and a wonderful start to my weekend.

Well I was going out on Thursday, I had made an appointment to get a Manicure and Pedicure at 5 and I was really looking forward to it. Now normally I got to Starbucks to give my toes extra time to dry. Cassandra tested me her and a couple other girls were going to the Escape at 3 and would be there till 8 so that was my plan for after my nail appointment.

I started getting ready about 3:30, and I was ready by 4:40 and 0n my way. I decided to wear my Jeggins today which I haven’t worn to the nail salon in a long while but it went so good with one of my cute tops I bought. I got to the nail salon at 4:45 so I had a little wait which gave me time to look at all the colors. I picked out a color that is a reddish copper. Not sure how it will look on my toes but in the bottle it looked pretty. Now they weren’t really busy but Anna was finishing up with another lady so she had one of the other girls file the top of my nails and wrap them to soak off the old gel polish. I sat for a few minutes till Anna finished the other lady and then it was my turn. She removed the gel polish from my fingers. Now before she did my manicure I moved over for my pedicure. Turns out Anna had another lady to also finish.

Kathy did my pedicure, she has done my nails before and did a good job. Now the funny part. As I said I haven’t worn my Jeggis for a while to the Salon. I went to pull them up and they were two tight to get over my calves. Seems going to the gym I have gained some lower leg muscles, I could only get them about half way up so I didn’t get the full lower leg massage. Will have to remember not to wear these when I go for a pedicure. Kathy really did do a wonderful job on my feet and when she put the polish on I really liked it, it was cute. Kathy finished up and then went to do another ladies nails so I had a few minutes to relax in the chair as Anna finished up the other lady. Of course I had to snap a picture of my toes.

Now it was time for my manicure so over to Anna’s table I went. Anna did a great job as always and I had her leave my nails just a little long, not to long now but in 2 weeks when I go back they will be on the long side. Now I had picked the clear pink I always get but I was really wishing I could have the same color I had on my toes on my fingers. It was about 6:15 as I walked out with my pretty nails and headed for the Escape.

I got to the Escape about 6:40 and the parking lot was full and they were really busy. They had a lot of men there playing darts. Cassandra and Cristine were still there so I joined them and ordered dinner. We talked for a while till Cristine left and then it was just Cassandra and me. We sat and talked for a while and watch some people play pool and darts. it was a fun night and I think it was almost 9 when we left.

It was a good night out. Now I am planning on going to work with my nails without putting the matt polish on as I think I can get by 1 day with shinny nails and then I can have them that way for the weekend.

I was looking forward to tonight as I was going to wear a new dress, yes while I was on vacation I bought 3 new dresses. I am saving one for when we go to Harvey’s in December. It still amazes me I can be so excited about cloths but only for Susan. I took my time getting ready so I would look my best. I was ready and on my way by 6. Now it was a really rainy night out and lots of traffic but I got to the Escape by 6:30. Now luckily getting there this early I was able to park right in front of the door. I was of course the first one there.

I ordered dinner and did my blog from Friday night while I waited for others to show up. Cristine was the first followed by Laura M. Cassandra gave me a call to check why traffic was so bad. Turns out the had several major accidents and in the end it took Cassandra almost 2 hours to get here. Now of course I had to get a picture of my new dress which I had Cassandra take. It really is a cute dress. If you can tell from the picture it has a lot of glitter speckles on it so it glistens in the light. Now it does have a bad side as I will have to vacuum m car seat tomorrow as it has all kinds of sparkles on it, looks like I spilt glitter in my car. It is fun though to have pretty dresses to wear.

Laura H. Lisa, Jan and Lynn also showed up tonight so we had a good turnout tonight. It was fun to sit and talk with them, I really do love my social time out with my friends. It was a good crowd here tonight, not super busy but just a fun group of people and that always makes it a fun night.

Karaoke started and of course several of our girls sang and did great. there are some really good singers here and even the ones who are not so good you have to give them credit for trying. It was a fun night and with the time change tonight and setting our clocks back an hour we get an extra hour of sleep tonight or actually an extra hour out. It was about midnight when I called it a night. It has been a great weekend so far.

The weekend is here and I am ready as it has been a long busy week. I actually work late several days this week so I am a little tired, Also pulled a leg muscle at the gym so I have been in a little pain the last two day. The funny thing is it only hurts when I walk flat footed so as long as I am in heels I am fine, two bad I couldn’t wear the heels to work. Any way my leg is getting better only hurts if I step just right.

Well as I said I was tired so it took a lot of effort to get off the couch at 4:30 and start getting ready, I don’t think anything else other then being Susan would have done it. It took a little longer as I was not moving fast but I was ready by about 6:15 and on my way. I got o Sweet Home about 6:40 and it looked like they would be busy as I had to park way up the street, maybe the farthest I have had to park and walk. I got inside and Chris, Robyn and her son were there but they really weren’t busy. Not sure why there were so many cars outside.

I ordered dinner and we talked while we watch the Portland Trail Blazers game on TV. It is funny as I watch way more sports when I am out as Susan then I do as my male self. Of course they won which always makes it more fun as the bar is a happier place when they win.

Roxy showed up a little later so there were 4 of us, It is nice Robyn is getting out more regular. She is also going to be playing pool league here with Chris. They were both playing pool here tonight and doing well. Now after I ate I was really starting to feel the long week so I figured a piece of cheesecake was what I needed to wake up, well as good of an excuse for desert as I can come up with. It was really good, they really do have good food here.

More people started to show up but it really doesn’t get busy till Karaoke starts at 10. It was fun just to be out but I was really tired, I guess the week was longer than I thought and I wasn’t sure how late I would make it. Well Chris and Roxy called it a night before I did so I felt better. I stuck it out till about 10 so I didn’t get to see any Karaoke tonight. It was a fun night though and now I am looking forward to Saturday night at the escape with my friends.

Now I was looking forward to our Wednesday night dinner as we are going to Southland Whiskey Kitchen. The group has gone here once before, but this will be my first time. I really do love going to knew places. Now we have been going to some different places for dinner we have about 10 places we rotate through and it has been fun. I really thing going to new and different places and being out out and visible lets people see us for who we are and that is a good thing.

I started getting ready at 4:30 to get ready as I wanted to look my best. It still amazes me that I not only take so much time to get ready just to go out to dinner but I actually look forward to the time I spend. It really is fun to get all dolled up and looking pretty. Now as I said I have never been here before so I used my GPS to find it, I really love my GPS don’t know how we found places before them.

I left my house at 6 and was on my way. luckily going into Portland there was no traffic as everyone was heading home. I got there at 6:30 but it took me about 10 minutes to find a parking spot. It was funny as there was a car trying to park behind another car by a drive but there wasn’t enough room. He tried several times and he was right up to the other cars bumper and I was waiting for him to get parked as he was in and out of the street. I really couldn’t figure out what he was doing as the spot was just to small to park in and I wanted to get by to look for a parking spot. As I said it was a funny story as he finally gave up and started down the street and I was getting ready to drive down the road when a man walked right in front of me to cross the street. I think he was also watching this guy try to park there. any way he crossed in front of me and went to the car that was right in front of the gut trying to park and got in and left leaving me a nice place to park.

I had about a block to walk to the restaurant. I got there about 6:40 and Cassandra and Peggy were already there. It was nice to see them again and Peggy was wearing a really cute black dress and heels. WE talked and were kind of watching the final game of the world Series, Chicago Cubs against the Cleveland Indians. Cristine and Julie showed up and we sat and talked for a while incase others showed up before ordering. Now they have a really good menu and their prices are not bad considering how much you get. I really didn’t realizes how big their orders were and got way more food then I needed but it was so good I ate most of it. The service was good the food awesome, the only drawback was parking and I can’t really fault them for that so I would give the 5 stars. I must go for good food if you are in Portland.

Joan also showed up so we had 6 of us for dinner. It was a fun night and Peggy even brought desert and it was really good. We had a nice time talking and of course watching the World Series, Now the game was tied up in the ninth inning and it was a good game. I really must try to make more of the Wednesday night dinners. I also need to get back to going to Starbucks more, it is just nice to be able to get out as Susan more.

We sat and talked as we wanted to stay and see the end of the game but as they went into extra innings they had a rain delay so we all decided to call it a night. we said our goodbyes and headed home. It was a really good night out with my friends. I actually got home in time to see the end of the game and the Cubs won.

About

HI all my name is Susan Miller and I am a crossdresser in my mid 50’s. I live in the Portland metro area of Oregon in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I like to dress up as a woman and go out with friends. This does not mean I am gay, far from it. I am only attracted to genetic woman sorry guys. I just have a love of all things female, makeup, dresses, high heels and long nails, acrylic nails. There is nothing like going to the nail salon and having your nails done.

Some people may not understand my way of life so I thought I would create a blog to write about it to try to help explain why and how I feel when I am Susan. This will also serve as a record for myself of my life as Susan Miller.

I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body and I have no desire to be a woman full time but I do have a woman inside that needs to be able to express herself. I guess the best way to explain is that I have both a feminine and masculine side to me and both feel right and comfortable to me although I will admit that I probably lean more to the feminine side. This means I am more gentle and caring and more soft spoken and I enjoy a lot of what society would call feminine activities. I just really like being Susan sometimes and I love dressing up and wearing pretty clothes and makeup. Women are so lucky. They have all the cute clothes and shoes while men get plain boring stuff to wear.

Please feel free to read my blogs and leave comments, but please be respectful. I do not judge others and respect your right to agree or disagree with the way I chose to live. I would love to have you post a comment and you may agree or disagree with me and my life and I will not delete it as I think it is important to have all views but if you leave a disrespectful comment I will delete that. Also any crossdressers or genetic girls that are okay with this please feel free to contact me. Also if you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them but remember any statements made here are the sole opinion of Susan Miller and no one else.