I've got my current manuscript in the hands of a few betas right now, but what I really want is feedback from someone who does not know me, is not enchanted by me in the least, and who will be fairly brutal in their crit. Because I'm fairly brutal in my crits, and I'll do the same for you if you want it.

A bit about my project, entitled: Kane Montgomery and the Dreamcatchers

The story focuses on Kane Montgomery, a gay kid attending high school somewhere in Connecticut. Following a brief stint in the hospital (amnesia included), Kane must rediscover his participation in a secret battle between reality and surreality. Unbeknownst to the public, fantasies (fully formed and complete with costumes, monsters, and cheesy special effects) keep escaping from people's heads and establishing themselves in the real world. The only way to get them to disperse is to infiltrate them, play out their dreamed plot and unravel them without breaking any rules, which rarely goes well, leading to all sorts of unwanted plot twists. And, as Kane learns, his own recent hospitalization and resulting amnesia.

Kane must rediscover his role as the defender of Reality Proper, reorient himself with his powers, readmit himself to a team of Dreamcatchers he himself assembled, and eventually uncover the mysterious source of magic slowly turning his town into a kaleidoscopic mess of barbarians, victorian romances, dragons, spy thrillers, and--yes--even zombies.

Specs: The story is a NA/YA Urban Fantasy, clocking in at around 130k, which is muuuuuch too long. I'm whittling it down now but I could really use some fresh eyes and a salted tongue (not a sexual advance, I swear). ALSO: the main character, the romance, and the villain are ALL GAY. If this plucks a nerve of your bigoted, homophobic heart, please do not feel obligated to respond in the slightest. I understand.

I'm completely willing to trade books, either for a beta/beta relationship or for a longterm crit partner relationship. We can see where things go.

:) Thanks y'all!

Nonnavlis

02-26-2014, 04:32 AM

If you're willing to accept a beta who can't really critique grammar, I'd be happy to try and help ^^. I'm full of opinions on plot, characters and such and I think fairly good at pointing out things that can be cut, but I'm self-taught in grammar so I'm not comfortable pointing out any mistakes that aren't obvious. I don't mind being critical, either, though I can be a bit on the polite side when expressing myself, so if you really need someone who's gonna cut into you I might not be the best fit.