Michael Mew, a close friend of porn star Wilfried Knight, has confirmed in a statement that Knight died on March 5 in an apparent suicide.

Mew wrote:

It is with heavy heart that I announce the passing of Wilfried Knight on Tuesday, March 5th, 2013.

The last thing he would want is everyone to think he was a porn-star cliché. He was not: He was not a drug or steroid abuser, and he did not drink like crazy.

He was a funny man with a kitschy sense of humour, who was more at home in the outdoors; on a mountaintop or volcano with his trusty pitbull he affectionately called Pig Daughter.

If you did see him at a bar or club, he was usually off on the side somewhere drinking a dry glass of white wine with his husband, Jerry.

As many of you do not know, Wilfried’s husband, Jerry Enriquez, took his own life less then two weeks before Wilfried did. Wilfried decided to follow him; taking his own life in the same hotel where they were legally married in up in Vancouver, Canada.

Jerry was an American citizen and Wilfried was a French national. Despite the challenges of being in a multi-national relationship, they tried very hard to make it work and stay together. Wilfried even enrolled into acupuncture school in Portland so that they can stay together. With his schooling and attached visa coming to a close end, Jerry desperately looked for work in Vancouver, Canada. They would have preferred to stay Portland but due to American immigration laws their Canadian marriage was not recognized and Wilfried would have to leave the U.S.

Jerry was so happy when he landed a job at Lululemon as the manager their IVIVA clothing line. Since Wilfried and Jerry were legally married in Canada, Wilfried was given a spouse visa and they both happily moved up to Vancouver.

They both were very private people in a lot of ways. After about a year, Jerry was let go by Lululemon. Wilfried told me about the questionable treatment Jerry received from Lululemon of which he wrote on his blog. Without a job or work visa in Canada, Jerry and Wilfried would not be able to stay in Canada and they could not return to the U.S. together.

After about five months not being able to find a new job, Jerry took his own life on February 21, 2013.

Death can come suddenly and people forget to take care of final matters. There was no will. Anything that Wilfried and Jerry had build together, including their home in Portland, now went to Jerry’s family. Their relationship was never formally recognized by the U.S. government, even though they were legally married in Canada and had over eight years of memories and photos together.

Up to the end, he expressed how he wished that no couple would have to endure what he and Jerry had to in trying to stay together. They would both be alive today if America had gay marriage.

They will be missed.

We reached out to Lucas Entertainment, where Knight filmed more than 20 movies. “I was hoping it was a hoax,” Lucas director Marc MacNamara told us. “I loved Wilfried dearly. There are some people who you just completely connect with and we had a beautiful bond. We kept in contact over the years as he had such a grounded perspective of life. He was so incredibly caring and genuine and we, as an industry and as a community are all at a great loss without Wilfried’s presence.”

MacNamara told us that many performers have taken Knight’s passing particularly hard, and he hopes they remember to stay strong.

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62 Comments

Whatever your industry or your opinions on porn – the story here is inequality and discrimination against ALL gay couples. Minds need to change and laws need to follow. This isn’t a story about a man who decided to marry his kitchen table – it’s about 2 loving, consenting individuals who were denied equal rights in many countries because they happened to both be men.

CLEARLY the driving force in these men taking their own lives was the stress over the fear of being separated due to DOMA!

I wish this story could help advance the cause, but unfortunately, they would be villified for being PORN actors first – and a committed couple second.

Amazing that a mass murderer can get married in prison and his spouse have all the legal protections afforded by the Constitution – but these men literally had “no place to call home” where they could live as a married couple – so they took their lives.

Truly a tragedy both felt suicide was their only viable option. Beyond the politics and porn, here was a couple that, presumably, valued and loved each other much more strongly than many in legally recognized marriages here in the US. Hard to fathom such desperate existence.

Shame on Lululemon;After reading Willfreds blog enteries I am really saddened. While Lululemons stuff was hardly all that great, after this incident all gay canadians should avoid this brand.
Two beautiful men, lost in a tragic turn of events…

This is sad but the root cause of the problems here seem to be unemployment which, in the U.S. anyway, for some strange reason seems to be having an impact on middle aged or near middle aged men whether gay or not.

@miagoodguy: I agree marriage inequality could not have been the entire reason for their demise, but one can’t help but wonder how much easier their lives may have been back in Portland, to say nothing about Wilfried’s right to his belongings after Jerry’s passing.

“CLEARLY the driving force in these men taking their own lives was the stress over the fear of being separated due to DOMA!”

actually, that is not at all clear. it’s clear that this is someone’s opinion that this is what happened, but for this human tragedy to resonate meaningfully in this civil rights struggle, someone has to do the heavy lifting of researching and writing a legitimate investigative piece on these men, with more than a few shreds of hear say.

i hope some one steps up to do just that.
otherwise, these men will be tragically lost to history, which would be an insult upon injury.

This has touched me so that I just have to speak. The love that they shared is a story to be told and honored. Although I do not believe in suicide, I understand it. It is close to my heart. It is not selfish to want to be with someone that you cannot live to be without. I wish we all searched and tried to love this deep. The world would be a better place.

Some may think it’s easy to off yourself, but I personally know that it is not. Not because I’ve tried myself, but because I have known those that have done it. They are not selfish people. Honestly, they are usually people who care more about the ones around them then their own well being. They usually do not wish to burden us or their loved ones. I understand.

When my father passed, my mother lived a bitter, bitter life. She agonized daily over the pain of her lost love. It affected her, it affected me. Did she consider suicide, probably. One will never know what life would have been like for me and for her had she done it. Not saying she should have, but I often wonder. Wasn’t it just as cruel to live a life of pain and suffering just because everyone else thinks they she should?

I’m amazed at the judgement we place on people when we aren’t living in their shoes. I can only imagine the pain they have both endured. They will forever be attached to my heart and soul!

This is so sad and I agree people will just explain away his suicide with the “porn star” moniker. I also don’t know the parties involved so don’t know what is truth and what is subjective emotion in Wilfried’s blog posts. Clearly the the laws in the US created part of this issue and must be changed, it’s just ridiculous and cruel.

I remember reading Wilfried’s blog post after his husband passed, and now with his additional blog posts and his passing, I’m most shocked that his husband’s former employer, Lululemon, has made no efforts to address the issue in any way. Even sending on condolences regarding Jerry’s passing or anything of that nature? They clearly have no clue how to do effective communications or perception management. You cannot just ignore it and it won’t just go away guys?! Currently this makes them look awful and unprofessional. This larger story will continue to bubble in the media and on message boards for a while with them attached to it. Whom does Lululemon think is buying their overpriced sweatpants, straight dudes in Iowa? It’s mostly gay men that live in and around more urban areas. They are not going to forget this story so easily. If they don’t address this in some way, even if they don’t agree with Wilfried and his husband Jerry, this will hurt them in the end. I mean harem pants for straight dudes that cost $108, really? I got may very cool super slim track pants from adidas for $38.

So sad that we have seen a rash of deaths lately due to suicide among our sex industry workers. Whether it is because the USA is still not on board with recognizing relationships, or just personal traumas, it is difficult not to be affected by these wonderful men who touch our lives. These deaths are senseless and hopefully we have seen the end of these this year.

Honestly…when they are many couples living under DOMA who are unemployed we cannot blame a suicide on DOMA. There other better ways to argue against DOMA than a tragedy of this type. DOMA is unequal period. Surrounded by so much help in these Western Countries there is no need for suicide but it happens. I don’t know about you….I don’t know how I would deal with a partner as a porn star. It must be difficult.

I can’t believe it. March 5, that’s not even five weeks since Aprad Miklos.
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I’m positive that I have read of more porn star deaths -men in the prime years of their lives- in the last 15 months than in any five year period. I believe the industry, especially since the dawn of net porn, is burning through them at the most accelerated rate ever.
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A generation of stars ago, Eric Manchester was one of my favorites. He made about two dozen films, but over a period of three years. These days, I know I’ve seen in just the last year, for instance, Trenton Ducati or Landon Conrad in more different scenes with more different people to double Manchester’s entire career output. And the concomitant psychological costs have to be as proportionately high.

These men committed suicide b/c of serious mental health issues. Mental health is not attended to nearly enough, and I think we need to have a serious conversation about it. DOMA is discriminatory and heartless, but it would truly cheapen the lives of these men to blame their demise on DOMA. All sorts of people experience all sorts of hate and discrimination in their lives — and rarely does this lead to them committing suicide.

so it is a deeply sad story and i ma not making light of it at all. It reminds me of those type of stories you hear of a husband dying at 93, and his wife a few days after of grief..that kind of thing. Obviously, both deaths occured by thier own hands, but there is something trajically beautiful in a Romeo and Juliet romantic manner, about the fact that there must have been some real love between the two. Horrific end, but it does maybe confirm to anyone aware of the story, that yes, indeed, two men can be in love, it exists, it isn’t an illness or disorder or satanic possession or wahtever. Love is love. And this story confirms that, at least to me. Rest in peace. Both of you. hopefully together, as I wish it should be.

This saddens me. Mr. Knight had a loving, stable and happy relationship with a man he loved. It reminds me of my friends Patrick and Jerry, who because Jerry is an Irish National, had to move to Spain once they were married. Our country would not let him be with Patrick here. Patrick chose early retirement (and a lower income) to be with the man he loved. Why, because US law (DOMA) would not allow a legally married spouse to emigrate to the us to be with his husband. Yet if they were a straight couple this would be allowed. How many couples are being effected because of this short sighted law? Most Americans would be outraged if they were told they could not marry the person they love, yet still support DOMA and are opposed to Marriage Equality. Wake up people, its a civil rights issue! Its time to repeal DOMA and promote Marriage Equality in all 50 states!

I dated Wilfried for a year in London a few years ago. Underneath is protective shell, was a kind , sensitive man, who
desperately tried to find his own place in this often confusing world.
He wasnt always an easy person, but his passion and zest for life , made him memorable to everyone who met him.
I wish i had realised what he was going through and helped him. We communicated on the 18th on fb and he told me
everything was going well with his life.If I had any idea what was to follow I would have reached out but now its too late.
You really didnt have to leave us so early Wilfried. You were a beautiful man with a gentle soul and this is the way all
of us who met you will remember you.
Good bye my friend, find peace where you are now.

This statement comes across as intentionally provoking in my opinion, just as if someone would have blamed his career as the cause. We don’t know the cause. There could have been several.

Concerning same-sex marriage and immigration. DOMA will likely be struct down in 3 – 4 months, immigration reform is coming (Obama and Democrats want to include same-sex couples) AND many bi-national same-sex couples already live in the USA illegally. As someone in a bi-national, same-sex marriage for 5 years there is more hope today for us than at any time in the past.

There seems to be more to this couple’s story than we know. But, I won’t pretend to understand how difficult bi-national challenges are on different couples. Losing a job is also terrible. Marriages are difficult. So, many things can be a tremendous weight when someone is deeply depressed. Often many weights at one time give a depressed person a sense of hopelessness…. even to the point that we can’t see anything good. I understand this.

@miagoodguy: I’m sorry but I do not agree. His partner’s family came in and took everything. He had lost his home and who knows what else. I’ve been there. My partner died and save for a few little keepsakes I was able to get out undetected, I lost everything. You cannot understand the devastation of that unless you’ve been through it. I have been and had it not been for two very dear friends, I would not have made it either.

@Hansolo: said… “Honestly…when they are many couples living under DOMA who are unemployed we cannot blame a suicide on DOMA. There other better ways to argue against DOMA than a tragedy of this type.”
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I get what you are trying to say but I think you are off on this. Just because one woman who was abused as a child grows up healthy and has a good family life now, that shouldn’t mean that other kids in a similar situation who kill themselves at 15 or 16 didn’t do it because of abuse.

Yes, this couple killed themselves when others didn’t. Maybe they were more unacceptable to stresses than others. But the fact remains if they weren’t constantly running around trying to find a place they could both live there would have been a LOT less stress in their lives and that could have been what was needed for them to continue living.

this is really sad .. I loved wilfried..he was my favorite actor. I’m really bad now :/ I do not know why, but I’m afraid that to happen to me…I’m scared of my mother and people will think of me being gay. My family will not accept me, it’s killing me,I just wanted a hug…give a hug to wilfried

Wilfred was a very loving sweet man I had the pleasure of working with on a few occasions. Surely the porn world is a little dimmer at the loss of such an amazing star. That being said, I’m actually glad to see there has really been no trolling on this thread as per usual and like what has been all over a few other sites. It is terrible when someone has obviously died of a broken heart.

Please any posters from here on out can we try to be respectful of the dead.

Sad, and RIP to both men. I’ve been saying this for like two years now.
WRITE A WILL!

Ever since I heard the story of the gay man who fell of the roof top and died.
Then his homophobic family came and took EVERYTHING leaving the gay husband with NOTHING.
He was not even invited to the funeral and they told him if he came they would beat him up.

Write a will for your partner, boyfriend, husband, etc., because your homophobic families are not going to do the right thing if you pass away suddenly. Gay people need to think about this stuff. Even if your family accepts you still write a will. You don’t know how they will act or treat your life partner if you pass away.

@miagoodguy: I couldn’t agree with you more! I get so tired of hearing that the United States is the demon or devil or some other damn problem that a guy takes his own life.
These two had other problems and felt suicide was the only answer, porn actor that kills himself?
Who is going to care?
All the world sees is a guy that decided that suicide was the only option, I have thought that and still think that many times a day.
You try dealing with a spouse that dies from brain cancer, brought on by a broken immune system, that I unknowingly gave her!
I was not allowed at the funeral, not allowed to see the step kids, not allowed to claim what possessions I have in that house, and I have a no contact order from the entire family!
If ever there was a reason for suicide I sure as have one. But I am still alive and dealing with life as best as I can and trying to put the past behind me.

@miagoodguy: I agree. When I think about all the people in the world who live through torture, poverty, starvation, war, etc. who DON’T kill themselves it makes their motivations seem kind of lame.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a sad story and I sympathize, but I suspect there are other factors in play that we don’t know about.

@Louis: I completely agree with you and furthermore I’d say Wilfried experienced a double death of his husband: the actual, physical death and the symbolic death of their marriage, as far as the State was concerned. He only had the support of a few good friends. @miagoodguy and cynics like him doubt the veracity of the announcement. I ask him only to imagine a world where widows and children of a dead straight man, were thrown out of their house after his death by his parents and siblings. Would straight people find that acceptable? I don’t think so.

Sounds like one or both were in Canada illegally and the jig was up. Gays from Europe and the USA cannot use Canada as a motel. We are a sovereign nation with our own strict immigration laws. Sponsoring a partner can take years. This article is full of deliberate misinformation.

This is very sad. I knew Wilfried from facebook and, also, read the link to his blog about his husband’s suicide and his problems with inheritance. The problems they had are sad and we all know that the laws should be changed, but I don’t think that you can conclude that these problems were the cause of their suicides. These men probably had emotional problems that prevented them from thinking rationally about their lives. Wilfried’s blog didn’t suggest he was suicidal because of the money and inheritance problems, just angry, and he was trying to make a political statement. His suicide is likely because he was just too distraught over his husband’s death.

But also, there would have been many other alternatives to handle these money problems. Wilfried had a lot of friends and was close to his parents, so he could have gotten by with help and eventually would be able to support himself again. And, he and his husband could have lived in France for a while, near Wilfried’s family, if his husband had not committed suicide. In these politically charged times, it may be tempting to think that they would not have committed suicide if they had been allowed to marry in the US, but that theory seems very hard to believe when there were so many other alternatives to their money and legal problems, and it’s just so tragic for their families.

To blame marriage equality (or the lack thereof)for their deaths, is stretching it (IMO)!The heart breaker here is the lack of foresight in having their relationship protected by a living will or other such document, to protect themselves from their families! I think it was the devastation of having Jerry;’s family cleaning house and leaving him with nothing but memories, that set him over the edge. As other posters mentioned, this suicide, of both, could have been prevented had they reached out to others for help and even resided in France for awhile, finding alternatives to solving their personal problems. Remember thousands of other couples are in similar fixes, yet they manage to surmount them and go on to lead a normal life. RIP, both of you.

@Aries3dc: Really? Tell that to all the teenagers who have committed suicide,at an alarming rate.Bullying sucks and DOMA sucks and until something is done about both,this stuff is just going to keep happening!I believe these two guys just got overwhelmed. Loving someone you can’t be with is horrible. They both knew this too well. Once Jerry killed himself it was all over for Wilfried,too.Maybe there were other reasons,we’ll never know that. I do think that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. This country needs to get off their high horse and stop all this bullshit!

Suicide is the result of untreated or unresponsive depression. The political difficulties this couple had to endure were no doubt unjust, but it’s hard to imagine anyone taking such drastic action in the absence of clinical depression.

This entire scenario is just sad, but I have to agree with many of the comments here. Suicide is a desperate and selfish act, not to mention as final as it gets. Clearly there were other issues at play here, five months of looking for a job is simply no reason to take your life. Job hunting can be a frustrating process, at times it seems like things will never get better and add to that the imminent issue of being separated from a loved one…overwhelming. HOW IS SUICIDE THE ANSWER?? People sometimes look for work for a year or more, never easy, but to take your life??

I will simply never understand this decision as an answer, either from the first one to do it and certainly not from the one that follows. It’s just too easy to blame DOMA or LULULEMON, you never know what’s going on inside someone’s life but very certainly there was more to it than the story as told above.

I hope there won’t be any more suicidal acts from any body… Life’s tough I know, but try to be strong, no matter how difficult it is… Please do have HOPE… Please? My partner and I (he’s German and I’m Indonesian) are also struggling for 13 years to keep up the spirit and sanity down here in Indonesia so that we’ll be always together and stay safe from any homo-phobics and anti LGBT relationship … :'(

@miagoodguy: Did you know these men??? Then what f***king right do you have make hateful guesses about what was the causes behind these men’s suicides??? It’s seems pretty apparent that they were blessed to have found each other to love and that love was threatened, after years of fighting it, the two governments involved were going to force them apart for NO other reason then them being a GAY couple. “Miagoodguy” and others, you don’t sound like good guys.

It is time we start asking ourselves, what is wrong in the gay porn community? Why are so many beautiful young gay porn performers committing suicide?;this question is not necessarily aimed against sex positivisim or even porn. It would be the same if another profesion, say gay politicans were in question because of a string of suicides by gay politicians.

Is Porn which was once touted as a vehicle of sexual liberation failing? Isn’t porn an anti sexual, commercial, commodification of sex which eventually takes a toll on all involved in it, starting with it’s performers?

I love it when the trolls come on here and immediately attack ANYTHING being attributed to bigotry and discrimination.

Ok, lets say that they DID have some mental issues. Well gee, were those issues hurt or helped by being told by your country that your relationship wasn’t valid, by being forced to move around trying to find a place they could live etc…

All these brand new accounts coming in here and claiming that “Gee, DOMA wouldn’t hurt a fly” are just as obvious as the straight up attacks.”

@Snickers: @Snickers: Thanks, Snickers. But really, being gay and in a gay relationship in (starting to become Islamic) Indonesia’s getting more and more ‘dangerous’, the government and some radical right-wings are trying to push the law for criminalising homosexual acts based on the Shariah law and members of my nuclear family is only very a few (that’s fine), but the extended ones are quite many and by law they have the right to take everything from either of us if one goes first!

PMA is Positive Mental Attitude. Never underestimate the power of visualization and your own power to think positively and the difference it can make. Have a few demonstrations that cannot be done online, but it is demonstrably true.

That being said, what others think, should never control your own destiny as hard and difficult as that may be. Only YOU control your attitude. Or as Eleanor Roosevelt long-ago sai: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Totally agree too with comments, whatever your persuasion or inclinations, MAKE A WILL and document your directions and desires.

Totally disagree with so MANY offensive, ill-informed and vile comments about what we actually know about these two suicides. Did you read his website? Has nothing to do with porn, or even, per se, descrimination.

Suicide, work place violence, depression….. ultimately comes from STRESS. Which leads, because of how our bodies are wired to stress and the bio-chemical reactions, to the inability, in the worst case scenarios, to objectively, rationally evaluate present circumstances and future prospects. Indeed, it becomes an unrealistic view that there is no possible future of any options or worth.

The asswipes, know-it-alls, that say their circumstances in trying to keep their relationship together, visas, jobs etc have nothing to do with the end result, are INSANE themselves. It had every thing to do with it. It is called stress and it is a bio/chemical reaction that can overcome even the strongest amongst us.

Get a life and have some compassion. Learn too from this tragedy and think positively.

Sorry for the typos. First time poster and truly frustrated by the ignorance of mental health and known science about stress and its biological and chemical impact on each and everyone one of us. Some can handle it better than others, but never doubt the impact that stress has on you and sometimes, perhaps too often, without thoughtful recognition of what it is doing to you.

I know this is late, but I only recently got into being more in touch with the lgbt media community.

All I see is love at its finest shot down by an unjust world. Although I can not say why Wilfred chose to commit suicide as well, I can say I believe that it because not only he lost his partner, but his memories of him as well. After a crashing blow one after another he couldn’t even keep living what was left of the life they made togather as legally it doesn’t belong to him. That is why I believe with nothing left to help him cope after his lost, he felt that he had nothing left in this world that didn’t offer him aid in the first place.

This is where even though I am young I feel I can say I am tired of this. Are people just delaying this and hope the LGBT community will kill themselves to extinction or something? I feel that even with DOMA why can’t we atleast be given basic rights as a prevention not a cure? Do we need more pointless suicide to really make a statement on how cruel this world can be just because we identify differently?