Maybe you could make several copies of this photo, cut carefully around the edges, adhere to green pipe cleaners, place in a vase.... and voila, your beautifully expensive peony bouquet! Gone are all regrets and it will last ALL summer!!

J Quizzle, I almost called the post "pee-OWN-ies," but then I thought only you and me and your mom would get it (which is probably the case for most of the jokes I make here).

Excellent point, William. Thankfully, this is not my area of expertise, but I'll assume you're correct.

Challah, this is why I'm seriously considering hiring you. I can't cover relocation expenses and your salary will be paid in Jim Beam, but if you want to move back East you have a job waiting for you at GFD.

I'm there, Anonymous. Except I don't know who you are. So perhaps I'll just start clipping peonies at random and hope that all the anonymous people in their homes who are NOT you don't call the police. Whatever. Peonies are worth a few hours in the clink.