Broke-Ass Etiquette: Stopping Your Roommate from Eating Your Food

Got a question about how to be a polite Broke-Ass? Email Half-Price Headliner with your queries and get schooled on how to be proper-like.

Q: My roommate keeps eating my food. How can I tell him to stop without being a total ass?

A: Unfortunately, to solve this issue, you may have to step into asshole territory to really get your point across. Hmm. That sounds weird.

What I mean is, since the roommate in question has crossed the common decency line of “don’t take what isn’t yours” you’re going to have to explicitly let him know that you aren’t cool sharing those particular food items. Even if it is a close friend, just be honest and set some ground rules for what is communal and what is your own private stash.

The key is to stay calm and address the situation before you become resentful or overly pissed. You’ll lose your credibility as a sane person after a particularly heated rant about missing saltines. Trust me.

Alison Lambert - Half Price Headliner

Ali was born and raised in the Wholesome/Creepy capital of the world, Salt Lake City, UT. Once she was old enough to blow that pop stand she escaped to the place that was the anti-SLC: The Peoples Gay-public of Drugifornia aka San Francisco (holla 30 Rock!). You can now find her throughout this glorious city slurping Pho and scheming with her best friend Pinky doing what they do every night; try and take over the world.

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