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Topic Review (Newest First)

09-23-2008 01:08 PM

Delirious

Do as the captain of the Hesperus did and lash her to the mast.

Quote:

He wrapped her warm in his seaman's coat
Against the stinging blast;
He cut a rope from a broken spar,
And bound her to the mast.

09-23-2008 11:17 AM

ilnadi

You need to read the Bubba Whartz story in the September Latts&Atts.

09-23-2008 10:34 AM

trantor12020

DrB, could it be that your wife is trying to send you some subtle message?

09-23-2008 09:15 AM

AjariBonten

Two Words ''''''''''''''''''''''''

Quality .... Control.......

Test it till it breaks, LOL great stories from all

09-22-2008 09:08 PM

knothead

Quote:

Originally Posted by J36ZT

DrB,

Sounds like your wife is actually trying to help you. You should let her...

What you need is a good strategy. You have a great opportunity each time she breaks something, you just need to capitalize on it. Here is what I'm talking about:

Example #1. You want new winches but know your wife would never approve of that much money spent. While sailing, she breaks or throws the winch handle overboard. So, you buy a new (and very nice) winch handle along with new primaries. When she complains, you only have to point out the two were next to each other in the catalogue and you weren't sure if the new handle would fit the old winches anyway.

Example #2. Your wife breaks the throttle handle. If the handle is part of the binnacle...and a wheel autopilot mounts to the binnacle...and there you have it, your troubles in talking her into an autopilot are over!

Example #3. Your wife breaks the ignition mount. The ignition is part of the electrical system...the electrical system could use an additional house bank...the new house bank will need a new battery switch...battery switch and ignition switch are both switches, so the pattern is now circular and complete.

I don't think it'll take her long to figure out what's going on and take more care when operating the boat.

I guess I should warn you though that I've been divorsed for 17 years. Thus, I'm probably not the best guy to take this advise from.

Hope all turns out well.

Skipper, J/36 "Zero Tolerance"

I really like the way you think.

09-22-2008 09:01 PM

eherlihy

If it were my wife that you were talking about banning from the boat, you might want to wear a helmet too. It would help protect you from the intentional impact.

09-22-2008 08:41 PM

sailingdog

DrB-

You might want to put a safety cover over the panel with the ignition key and such... not only will it help protect the panel from spray, but it will help protect it from accidental impact.

09-22-2008 06:17 PM

J36ZT

DrB,

Sounds like your wife is actually trying to help you. You should let her...

What you need is a good strategy. You have a great opportunity each time she breaks something, you just need to capitalize on it. Here is what I'm talking about:

Example #1. You want new winches but know your wife would never approve of that much money spent. While sailing, she breaks or throws the winch handle overboard. So, you buy a new (and very nice) winch handle along with new primaries. When she complains, you only have to point out the two were next to each other in the catalogue and you weren't sure if the new handle would fit the old winches anyway.

Example #2. Your wife breaks the throttle handle. If the handle is part of the binnacle...and a wheel autopilot mounts to the binnacle...and there you have it, your troubles in talking her into an autopilot are over!

Example #3. Your wife breaks the ignition mount. The ignition is part of the electrical system...the electrical system could use an additional house bank...the new house bank will need a new battery switch...battery switch and ignition switch are both switches, so the pattern is now circular and complete.

I don't think it'll take her long to figure out what's going on and take more care when operating the boat.

I guess I should warn you though that I've been divorsed for 17 years. Thus, I'm probably not the best guy to take this advise from.

Hope all turns out well.

Skipper, J/36 "Zero Tolerance"

09-22-2008 06:02 PM

DrB

Who's blaming her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by AllThumbs

Your wife is just trying to help on the boat. Sounds like the throttle and ignition mechanisms are too fragile. Fix the boat, and quit blaming her.

Eric

She and I both laugh at this. She just seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought this was an amusing and funny story. My wife is great on the boat.

The Wasp/Hornet story was hilarious. I was just waiting to read that we both jumped overboard to avoid the swarm and then the boat sailed away...

DrB

09-22-2008 05:31 PM

Boasun

And here I thought they were your SECURITY System!?
Hornets and African Bees the best security system to keep your boat safe from people.

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