Bad Hair Day? Beret!

I love berets. There are mornings when my beret is my best friend. You know those mornings – the ones where you wake up late only to realize you slept so hard that your hair appears to be mid-migration from one side of your head to the other. Those mornings when it’s clear that 3 mins is nowhere near time enough to hide the dark circles under your eyes. For those mornings I have an arsenal of weapons at my disposal: my trusty berets. Not only do they cover whatever monstrous apparition my head has decided to sprout overnight, but in the right color, they bring life and light to my skin, make my eyes glow, and make me look almost human again.

Dolce beret

ANYONE can wear a beret. It is classic, simple, and effortless… except that, for some reason, it seems impossible for 95% of the population to figure out how to put one on. Believe me, I have watched this time and time again with no less amazement each and every time. If you think you can’t wear a beret, then sadly you’re probably one of those 95%.

Cliché beret

Here’s a hint: yanking it down: wrong.

Che beret

Laying it on top of your head like a lost pancake: wrong.

Tina Fey beret

Pulling it to the tops of your ears so it stands out like a UFO has landed on your head: wrong.

Crochet beret

The simplest way to put on a beret is to start at the front of your head around the hairline or slightly back, and gently, with your thumbs, work it around to the nape of your neck. THEN (and this is the critical part), pull it down either to the side (best for stiffer, traditional wool berets), or to the back (best for loose-knit, floppy berets).

Bouquet beret

Get a beret in that magical color that makes your eyes pop, or which makes you most happy.

Hombre beret

I appreciate that if you work in an office, a beret isn’t yet considered office-appropriate attire. However, I offer this: You can pin your hair into pincurls UNDER the beret which should have baked into shape by the time you arrive, so a quick trip to the toilet to remove the hat and the pins, and voila! lovely springy non-hat-hair.

Flambé beret

In warmer weather, there are the lighter, lacy-knit berets, as seen all over California. Sadly there ARE places on Earth that are just too hot for berets, like the Sahara desert and Texas. For those places and those times of year, sorry.

Oh yeah. There’s a number of you who will want to complain that you really CAN’T wear berets, because your hair is just SO THICK and heavy… blahblahblah. I want to hear that “complaint” about as much as I want to hear how hard it is to find clothes to fit your 23-inch waist or how impossible it is to find trousers long enough for your legs.