Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Google Zeitgeist, and why we are doomed

Google recently released its so-called 'zeitgeist list' –
the top ten search terms for 2013. Let's have a look at the results for the UK portion of
the exercise and consider the implications:

Facebook

YouTube

Google

Hotmail

Ebay

BBC News

Amazon

Daily Mail

Argos

Yahoo

And the main implication is this: Society is doomed.

The top five results on this list can all be found simply by
adding .com to the name. But it's clear that many, many people do not know this
and get to their Facebook accounts by Googling for Facebook.

Saints preserve us, nearly as many people look for Google by
Googling Google, a practise that risks an infinite causality loops that could
actually bring about the end of the universe. And every now and then, the site
they want isn't the top result. Which means the "I'm feeling lucky"
crowd end up further away from their Farmville or Candy Crush than they
thought, and all hell breaks loose.

Yes, I realise that some browsers now have a url bar that
doubles up as a search engine input, but this only encourages stupidity and
must be stamped out forthwith.

And yes,also realise
this post is nothing but a stream of techno-snobbism aimed at those who are
less computer literate than I. Guilty as charged, and the sooner they bring
back the written exam for the internet the better.

And also yes, I realise I illustrated this with that Batman meme, which probably makes me the worst person on the planet.

12 comments:

Ban The Mouse
said...

'Researching the Facebook use of 16-18 year olds in eight EU countries, the Global Social Media Impact Study found that as parents and older users saturate Facebook, its younger users are shifting to alternative platforms.' - The Guardian. 27/12/13 http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/dec/27/facebook-dead-and-buried-to-teens-research-finds

Visit to a public library and watch pensioners using keyboards without clicking on a text entry box and then showing surprise when nothing happens on pressing . On the other hand Watch secondary schoolkids using a calculator to find the square root of 16.

ALTC: You would have failed the exam. If you're on the Scary Duck page, look at the top of the screen. On the left you should see a duck icon followed by 'http://scaryduck.blogspot.co.uk/ . Click on that block of text and key in google.com. Hit the Enter key and watch how, as if by a miracle, the Google page appears. Stare in amazement when you click on the down pointing triangle to the right of the url box.

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