"Willkommen!" Michael screams, in the middle of the casino. "Bienvenue! And welcome! To...Monte Carlo!" He tosses some Black Cats on the ground, startling a few and irritating many. "Dwight!" Michael hisses, and the lights go dim. "I am no longer your boss!" He pulls out some glow sticks. What is he doing? "Lady Fortune is your boss!" He starts waving the glow sticks around. He looks completely insane. Stanley says, in that low voice of his, "Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?" and Michael murmurs pissily, "Shut it, shut it, shut it." The glow sticks are still going. Michael Scott is like the coolest person alive sometimes. "Will Lady Fortune be your mistress? Only time will tell, my friends. Leave all your preconceived notions about casinos at the door..." -- which I'm still trying to figure out what that means, exactly -- "Old friends! New lovers! [Kelly looks at Ryan, Ryan looks away.] And the disabled! [Nobody looks at Billy, Billy looks at nobody.] Welcome all!" And just like that, it's over. "Great. Okay. Shuffle up and deal." The lights come back on, Lady Fortune is somewhere around here, "Let's get it started," Michael finishes. And to the camera he says, beautifully: "Black-Eyed Crows." For every Yankee Swap, there's a Black-Eyed Crow, and you can't leverage shit like that. Love's a gamble.

Toby and Michael are at a Hold 'Em table, giving the scene an immediately apocalyptic feeling. I love Toby, and I love Michael, but I do not love Toby and Michael. I come from a long line of fighters, but my blood pressure cannot take them together. Toby's dealt two Jacks; across the table, Michael immediately goes all in, surprising Carol and causing everybody but Toby to fold (a winning strategy both for game play, and for making friends at the table).

Michael: "Bluffing is a key part of poker. Which is too bad, because...I am not very good at bluffing." He breaks into a toolish, gleaming smile. "...Did you believe me?"

Toby calls; I get very very nervous. Michael accuses him of being insane, and Toby says, in that soft and offhand way in which he says anything, that he's got good cards. "Well, Toby, I went all in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards too? So don't be stupid, just take it back." The dealer tells him that's not happening, and Michael's like, "Whatever." Toby reveals his two Jacks, Michael viciously flips his cards and scoots away from the table, running away with a barely intelligible but very heartrending "You really scr -- ...You really screwed that up!"