Pin Pals: Walkthrough

Apu, Homer, Burns and Moe are ready to have some fun bowling in the newest update of the game! Join us right after the jump for the walkthrough of the update!

Pinsetter Pt. 1

Auto starts

Mr. Burns: Smithers! What is this check made out to the Federal government?
Smithers: That’s your tax payment, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know my policy on giving money to family members, and that includes Uncle Sam.
Smithers: I’m sure it’s a mistake. I’ll look into whether killing the accountant who prepared them gives you another deduction.

Task: Make Burns Scheme a New Tax Evasion StrategyTime: 6sLocation: Control Building

Pinsetter Pt. 2

Auto starts

Mr. Burns: Tax havens in New Havens. Shell companies that sell sea shells. I’ve done them all already!
Smithers: What about starting a charity?
Mr. Burns: A charity?! If I wanted my money to help the poor I’d just pay my taxes!
Smithers: But sir, if you own the charity, you’ll be giving the money tax-free back to yourself. You just need a group or team to do the fundraising.
Mr. Burns: A team, eh? How about we get the Pin Pals back together. They can bowl for my benefit!

Homer: Woohoo! I get to bowl and my boss is footing the bill! It’s like everyday from 3 pm on!
Moe: I don’t mind him paying, so long as he ain’t playing…
Moe: It’s wordplay like that that keeps me submitting to The New Yorker.

Quest reward: Pin Pal Apu

Pin Pals Pt. 1

Auto starts

Homer: Mr. Burns, we thought we’d celebrate the team getting back together with new jerseys.
Homer: Because some of us seem to have, er, outgrown our old ones.
Moe: And others of us have discovered that our sweat is acid that melts cotton.
Mr. Burns: Gentlemen, we’re bowling for charity. We don’t have the money for extravagances like jerseys or working fire extinguishers.

Smithers: Sir, you have to invest in your charity a bit if you want to claim a deduction.
Mr. Burns: I suppose I could buy them a little something. Like matching tattoos of my face. Or a vacation to Tuscany for one.
Smithers: How about a state-of-the-art facility? That’s how colleges avoid paying their athletes.

Quest reward: Pin Pals Bowling Alley

Jacques Surfacing

After building Pin Pals Bowling Alley

Jacques: Qu’est-ce que c’est?
Jacques: The smell of floor polish, the clatter of pins, the creep of athlete’s foot. Bowling!
Jacques: And a new bowling alley calls for a new Jacques: Jacques Deux Point O.

Pin Pals Pt. 2

Auto starts

Pin Pal Burns: Welcome, Pin Pals, to your very own bowling alley!
Pin Pal Moe: Oh man, I knew it. Burns is trying to buy his way back onto the team.
Pin Pal Burns: Let me assure you: I do NOT want to play with you. I can hardly stand to look at you.
Pin Pal Homer: Your reverse psychology won’t work on us. Unless that’s not what you want. In which case it will.

Pin Pal Moe: Burns clearly wants back on the team. And I can’t stand to watch a man beg. That’s why I don’t bring dates to restaurants with mirrors in them. Sorry, Otto. You’re off the team.
Otto: Whoa, I was on the team?
Pin Pal Burns: I told you – I don’t want to join! This is Woodrow and his League of Nations all over again.

Quest reward: Bowling Lane

Pin Pals Pt. 3

Auto starts

Pin Pal Homer: Kirk, what are you doing here?
Kirk: Mr. Burns said he’d pay me twenty bucks to play with you guys. Looks like Kirk won’t have to sell any molars today!
Pin Pal Moe: I see Burns is playing hard to get. Looks like Moe is going to have to take care of this just like he took care of the Iranian Embassy hostages.
Pin Pal Homer: What was that?
Pin Pal Moe: Argo was a lie! I mean, nothing.

Kirk: Yeow! Moe, you broke my fingers! All those prepaid mandolin lessons at the Y down the drain!
Pin Pal Moe: Sorry, Kirk. I can be a real klutz. Guess you can’t bowl no more.
Kirk: I can’t afford to see a doctor either. But maybe I can convince the vet that I’m an exotic pet.

Quest reward: Claw Machine

Pin Pals Pt. 4

Auto starts

Pin Pal Moe: Looks like that ringer won’t be wearing no rings for awhile. Man, why does The New Yorker keep rejecting this brilliance?
Pin Pal Apu: Now we really need Mr. Burns to finish the tournament.
Pin Pal Burns: How many times do I have to tell you fools – I don’t want to bowl with you!
Pin Pal Burns: This charity was just an excuse for me to hoard money. Like those timeshares I sold in a state that doesn’t exist.
Pin Pal Homer: What? But I’ve booked plane tickets to Oklaronsas!
Pin Pal Burns: Now you’ve left me no choice. Bowl for the team. Or burn down this building and collect the insurance.
Pin Pal Homer: Isn’t that a choice?

Pin Pal Homer: This is it – the deciding match! What a journey it’s been. An immediate, unseen journey.
Pin Pal Apu: We just need one more strike, and then the trophy’s ours.
Pin Pal Moe: But Burns is up next. He hasn’t hit a single thing this entire tournament. Unless you count the valet he ran over in the parking lot.
Pin Pal Burns: Time to show these boys what I’m made of — sinew, steel plates, and bigotry.

Pin Pal Homer: He dropped the ball! Like I do when Marge asks me for a favor.
Pin Pal Moe: Hey, wordplay’s my shtick this update!
Pin Pal Apu: It’s going very slowly, but… but…
Pin Pal Moe: It’s a strike! I can’t believe it!
Pin Pal Burns: Wow! This is the first strike I’ve ever seen that didn’t end with Pinkertons clubbing my employees.
Pin Pal Burns: Seeing as how I won the match I think it’s only fair that I keep the reward.

Quest reward: 200 money 20 XP

Trophy Tax

Auto starts

Mr. Burns: This will look excellent with my other awards – my 1980 gold medal for hockey, my 1994 Nobel prize in economics, and of course my piece of the Aggro Crag.
Smithers: All rightfully earned sir.
Mr. Burns: Now for the real winner of this affair, my pocketbook!

Task: Make Burns Verify the Results of His Tax SchemeTime: 6sLocation: Control Building

Mr. Burns: I still owe taxes? How is that even possible?
Smithers: It turns out the trophy has a small monetary value. You owe the IRS two dollars.
Mr. Burns: Bah! Billionaires don’t pay taxes. Who does the IRS think I am? A billionaire’s secretary?
Mr. Burns: Get rid of this accursed trophy! Give it back to the team and write it off as a charitable deduction!