Devouring Feedback

In our recent research we asked associates and partners and number of questions about feedback. Associates told us that feedback that is informal, oral and timely helps them develop most, as professionals. Seems simply enough - not quite.

Partners tell me that associates don’t really want feedback, they want to be stroked. They also tell me that when that when they want to give constructive feedback they don’t feel confident in these types of conversations and they struggle with associates who get defensive.

The last article in this series was about giving
feedback. This one is about receiving it, being
open to it – indeed devouring it. Why? Because your skills are the things that will secure your future and the best way to build skill is to take full advantage of the experience and wisdom of those with whom you work.

by Karen MacKay, MBA, CHIC
President

Lawyers learn
before the job, in the job, on the job and
sometimes in spite of the job so take every
advantage to learn from those around you.

So here is the top ten list for devouring feedback.

Seek it out: Ask for feedback from those with
whom you work. You are giving a signal that
you are open in information, open to their
feedback and that it is important to you. You are
also saying that you value the opinion of those
you admire.

Listen carefully: Listen actively and carefully
to the information being shared. Make good eye
contact, ask for examples to clarify things you
don’t understand – take a genuine interest in the
information being shared.

Manage your emotions: Sometimes informal,
oral and timely feedback also comes with a
healthy doss of emotion (even anger).
Sometimes the best pearls of wisdom happen at
the heat of the moment if you have the courage
and the composure to listen. Breathe, remain
calm, make good eye contact and listen. (This
does not mean that abuse should be tolerated.)
Sometimes the best feedback comes in the
middle of a transaction when something got
screwed up. You and your colleagues may be in
a situation that looks a bit like a fire station
during a three alarm blaze – no time for the
niceties – but still time for mutual respect.

Remain open and engaged: In order to devour
and learn from feedback you have to be open to
it. When you are open you listen without
interrupting, you ask questions to clarify and are
sincere in your questions.

Don’t react immediately: Give yourself some
time to digest the information. If the colleague
asks for a reaction you might say something like “you have share a lot of information and I need a
little time to react. I’ll have a much better
conversation if I can take a few minutes and
come back to you – perhaps outside the heat of
the moment. In the meantime I’ll get onto fixing
…”

Validate: If you can understand the perspective
of your colleague at the outset, say so. “I can
understand your perspective…”
Acknowledging the other person’s emotional
state and validating their perspective will defuse
the situation.

Ask good questions: Giving and receiving
feedback is a collaborative process. “How
would you have done this differently?” Ask for
suggestions so that you can improve the current
situation but also learn from it. “I’m here to
learn and I don’t want to fall into this hole
again…can we talk after we get through this so I
can learn from this situation.”

Focus on the issue: The feedback may be on a
substantive issue – something that you got dead
wrong or something that you missed in your
research or drafting. Alternatively, the feedback
may be behavioural.

Own it: There is nothing worse that passing the
buck. “My secretary screwed up...”, “The other
associate…”, “The student let us down…”. The
buck stops with you. Yes, the buck really stops
with the partner but if you are on the receiving
end of some serious “feedback” – own it. If it
was not your mistake it will likely find its
rightful owner in the future but passing the buck
in the heat of the moment is simply not on.

Circle Back and say thank you: As noted in
the previous article in this series, when partners
lose confidence in you the work dries up – they
stop making eye contact and it’s over. So circle
back, acknowledge the feedback and say thanks.
Ask more questions, show confidence and do
everything in your power to learn from the
experience. More importantly – shoulders back,
head high and circle back to the colleague who
gave you the feedback and thank them for taking
the time to draw the issue to your attention.

You tell us you crave feedback so show that you have the maturity to accept it, learn from it and take action on it.