Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Is There Really Nothing More Important You Have To Do?

I know that it's sometimes a little too easy to treat Creationists as a homogenised mass of idiots, constantly demanding ludicrous concessions across the fields of politics and education and sulking every time someone mentions evolution without including magic and pixies in the same sentence.

Every now and again, though, it's worth noting that some of these people are just really, really stupid:

We'll leave aside the fact that the Creator, if one does exist, is presumably not too bothered as to whether they receive credit in BBC documentaries (I'll never understand the distinct subset of Christians who are apparently convinced that God is a petulant glory-hog). Is Attenborough really the most important target to aim for when it comes to attacking people for denying ID? You might as well try to bring down the monarchy by calling Jenny Bond a bitch.

On the other hand, Attenborough's response is glorious:

Telling the [Radio Times] that he was asked why he did not give "credit" to God, Attenborough added: "They always mean beautiful things like hummingbirds. I always reply by saying that I think of a little child in east Africa with a worm burrowing through his eyeball. The worm cannot live in any other way, except by burrowing through eyeballs. I find that hard to reconcile with the notion of a divine and benevolent creator."

It's a great line, which reminds me of Stewart Lee pointing out a few years ago that those claiming March Of The Penguins proved that God wants us to stay in monogamous relationships and raise a family had obviously never seen a mallard gang-rape.

To sum up, then:

Proof that God appreciates beauty and grace.

Proof that God is all about people going blind after invertebrates eat their eyes.

Proof that God is a fan of the family unit.

Proof that God thought that Hostel 2 just didn't go far enough.

I hope that clears things up for you.

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(On a personal note, I could happily have gone my entire life without typing "parasitic eyeball worm" into Google. These are the sacrifices I am prepared to make for you).