Walk in love, even as Christ also loved you, and gave himself up for us………..

Ephesians 5:1-2a

In Genesis, we read that the Lord God told Adam, “because you have listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, Do not eat from it: the ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. It will produce thorns for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it. For you are dust, and you will return to dust.”

Now many will say, after reading this passage, God is mean, unjust, and just cruel. If He is so nice, you would think He would have told Adam, this is only your first mistake, I will give you another chance.

But God is just, and if you are just, you have to do the right and just thing, the law demands it. If you did not, then you are not just.

The Lord God, who created Adam told Adam up front, before hand, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For on the day you eat from it, you shall certainly die.” What did the Lord God actually say to Adam, “All these trees, here in the garden, you can freely eat from; all of them. But there is one that will cause you to die, don’t eat from that tree. I have given you life, but this fruit, that offers the knowledge of good and evil (Law), causes death.”

Before Adam gained the knowledge of the law. In God’s holiness, God only had to share His grace with Adam, not His justice. Paul clearly gives us the reason the Lord God told Adam not to eat from that tree. The law produces wrath. And where there is no law, there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

What we also neglect to read, and understand, is the Lord God firstly told the serpent (Satan), “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than any livestock and more than any wild animal. You will move on your belly and eat dust all the days of your life. I will put hostility(enmity) between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. (just a note: the woman does not have seed, the man does. The Lord God was letting us know right from the beginning that a miraculous (virgin) birth would occur).He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel. ”God was telling Satan that a man, born of a woman, will someday deliver a mortal blow to Satan. In this same verse, the Lord God is telling everyone, that Yeshua the Messiah (the Christ), Jesus Christ, will someday come and defeat Satan, along with the sin that Adam just committed, and death because of the knowledge of good and evil. In Christ, the Lord God would once again, in grace, meet, walk, and talk with His creation

I have been a Christian now for 38 years. I put my faith in Jesus Christ when I was 34 years old. Over these last 38 years, I have heard a certain theme about God. He is mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. Many who think this, who believe this, I have found never studied, much less read, the only Book that actually reveals who God is.

There are some who claim they have read the Bible, but also say it was for the purpose of finding errors in it. And there are others who have started out with that same purpose, and have come to believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant Word of God. There are others who believe, but do not read the Bible. Often I have found that it is because they are just not readers. However they believe and are often eager to hear and know more about the Bible. Then there are others who were told about the wonderful love that God has for them. And because of His love, He sent his Son, to pay for the sin Adam did, and all the sins they have done. They believed what they heard, and then began reading about it, in the Bible.

Of course there our also those that I have met, that do not believe there is such a thing as sin, or say they have never sinned. To these people I only remind them of what the Apostle John wrote. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8.With that said, I cannot stop there, but must tell you the next thing John said. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

One does not have to read the Bible to be saved, it is Jesus Christ who saves. Yet by reading about this love that God shows to His creation, in Christ; gives the believing reader the opportunity, and ability to grow in that faith.

If one reads the Bible, one would find out that it is the devil that had the power of death.Since then the children have shared in flesh and blood, he also himself (Christ) in like manner partook of the same, that through death he might bring to nothing him who had the power of death, that is the devil. And might deliver all of them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. Hebrews 2:14-15.

It is Satan that hates what the Lord God created and has always wanted the human race dead. It is Adams original sin that caused a curse on the earth. It is because of that sin, we see disease, sickness, hate, and everything that lends itself to the destruction of human life. The good news is, Christ took the power of death from the devil, and offers life, health, and His love to all.

Now as for God being mean, demanding, unjust, angry, kills people, often good people, and even lets children starve. To those accusations, I say the law is demanding, we are unjust, and usually angry. People kill people, and it is people who cause children to starve.

God causes the crops to grow every year in most places around the world. The world grows more food for every man, woman, and child than we can eat. The world produces enough food to feed everyone. (www.worldhunger.org) The principle problem is that many people in the world still do not have sufficient income to purchase (or land to grow) enough food.(www.worldhunger.org)

Yet,the United States alone sends thousands and thousands of tons offree foodto starving nations every year, yet the children continue starve. Those who receive and hand out that food though, seem never to starve. The leaders of those poor starving countries, never look like they are starving. Why is that? Have you ever asked yourself that question.

Let me finish with this; why do so many hate God and will not read the Bible? Well the Bible gives us the answer. For when they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God, nor were thankful, but became vain in there imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man, and to birds and four footed beasts and creeping things. Romans 1

This same Bible tells us also how much God loves us, and His whole creation. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I hope all of you SLL/CLL and CLL patients are doing well. Lot of great news in the advancements of new medicines. Iburtnib has been giving good results, and has been approved for sale in the USA. It had been approved originally, for only chromosome 17p patients, but I believe it now approved for all chromosome deletions. Please correct if I am wrong on the approval for all patients. Also I have been reading that a Phase 1 trial of second generation BTL inhibitor, ACP-196, and has been demonstrating some very good results.

DATE

WBC

HGB

PLT

ALC

Lymphocytes/

12/26/10

15.6

12.8

87

4.3

100 Leukocytes

01/10/11

15.8

13.3

112

4.3

27.00%

01/19/11

11.7

13.1

78

4.2

36.00%

02/17/11

12.5

13.7

87

4.5

36.00%

05/12/11

11.6

11.9

77

5.5

47.00%

08/08/11

13.3

12.4

85

7.63

09/08/11

18.5

12.9

63

13.5

10/20/11

15.7

12.1

60

8.6

55.00%

12/21/11

13.4

11.9

64

7.85

58.00%

01/06/12

12.5

11.7

63

62.00%

01/26/12

11.1

11.1

62

8.4

04/26/12

11

11.4

54

7.4

67.00%

05/25/12

11.7

11.1

53

8.1

69.00%

06/22/12

12.4

11.4

59

8.7

70.00%

Started eating

08/19/12

9.7

10.7

63

5.9

Bitter

12/03/12

9.1

11.1

73

5.1

55.00%

Apricot Seeds

03/04/13

6.1

10.3

63

2.94

48.10%

06/02/12

06/03/13

6.6

11

72

2.6

44.20%

08/08/13

6.4

11.1

101

1.89

29.70%

09/05/13

5.8

11.9

88

1.59

27.40%

12/05/13

5.5

12.7

88

1.29

23.70%

03/05/14

5.8

12.8

80

1.21

20.70%

08/14/14

3.9

12.8

85

0.89

22.60%

09/05/14

6.8

12.7

80

0.92

14.50%

Normal WBC

Normal HGB

Normal PLT

Normal ALC

Normal Ly

4.0-10.6

12.8-17.0

150

1.0-3.7

16.2% to 48.2%

As you can see from my last results, my blood readings are staying fairly close to normal, with the exception of course, my platelets. My lymph-nodes went back to normal well over a year ago, and are still that way. My spleen is just a bit enlarged over normal, but undetected to the touch.

I have cut back from eating 18 bitter apricot seeds, to 15 a day. I would like to see my ALC numbers get back into the normal range. Even though they are low, I see that my white blood cell count is in the normal range, and I am thankful that I have no infections, nor illnesses, like any of the current bugs, that are going around. With all of the illnesses around me, I think of Psalms 91:1-4 (AMP). He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall remain stable and fixed under the shadow of the Almighty (Whose power no foe can withstand). I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him I lean and rely, and in Him I (confidently) trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the deadly pestilence.

All in all, I am feeling fantastic. I will be seeing my Oncologist in March, I am looking forward to seeing what my blood counts will be.

Peter said, “Repent and be baptized …………” If you were like me, you were told that this meant that you first change the way you do things, then you get baptised for the remission of sins. However the Greek word used for repent is matanoeo, which means to change one’s mind, or to think differently. It has nothing to do with changing things, but thinking differently (or changing your way of thinking.)

What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave He ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost. Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons wh need no repentance. Luke 15

Wait one minute, where and when did this lost sheep repent? In this whole story, I read no where that this lost sheep repented. This lost sheep did not change direction and try to come home. This lost sheep did not say it was sorry for going astray. This lost sheep did nothing but let his Shepard put him on his shoulders. It was the Shepard who rejoiced. It was the Shepard who carried the lost sheep home. It was the Shepard who calls all his friends and neighbors together asking them to rejoice with him, because he had found his lost sheep.

All this lost sheep did, was to rely on his Shepard to do everything.

So what is repentance? Relying on the Good Shepard, Jesus Christ to do everything. It is changing our minds from what we must do to be saved, to what Christ has done to save us.

I just received my blood results, from December 05, 2013, and wanted to share them with those, of you, who have been following my blog.

Again I am thankful for the great results I am having. I tell as many who will listen, what I have been doing. I have had some ask me, “are there anymore people that this has happened too?” I really do not know, but one thing I do know, is that it has happened to me. For some of my closes friends, and acquaintances, they know how I was doing before June 2012, and see how I am doing now. Of course it is easy to believe it, when you actually see it happening in front of your own eyes.

I know for most, skepticism is the rule of the day, and that is not a bad thing. I am skeptical concerning most things, but knowing that, I am still amazed at what is happening to me, and want people, especially those with SLL/CLL to know my story. I will tell it until I am called home.

Over the last twelve months, I have had the good fortune of being able to write, in my blog, the gains I have been having, battling my cancer.

I received my blood readings today, while at the doctors office for my annual check-up. The last entry, dated 08/8/13 is what they currently are. My doctor made an appointment for me to have a sonogram, so they can know exactly how much my spleen has gotten smaller. She believes it is back to normal, as she could not touch it anymore.

DATE

WBC

HGB

PLT

ALC

12/26/10

15.6

12.8

87

01/10/11

15.8

13.3

112

4.3

01/19/11

11.7

13.1

78

4.2

02/17/11

12.5

13.7

87

4.5

05/12/11

11.6

11.9

77

5.5

08/08/11

13.3

12.4

85

7.63

09/08/11

18.5

63

10/20/11

15.7

12.1

60

8.6

12/21/11

13.4

11.9

64

01/06/12

12.5

11.7

63

01/26/12

11.1

11.1

62

04/26/12

11

11.4

54

05/25/12

11.7

11.1

53

8.1

Started Seeds beginning of June 2012

06/22/12

12.4

11.4

59

8.7

08/19/12

9.7

10.7

63

5.9

12/03/12

9.1

11.1

73

5.1

03/04/13

6.1

10.3

63

2.94

06/03/13

6.6

11

72

2.6

08/08/13

6.4

11.1

101

1.89

Normal WBC

Normal HGB

Normal PLT

Normal ALC

4.0-10.6

12.8-17.0

150

1.0-3.7

For the first year and one half, I had seen my blood counts moving in the wrong direction, showing my doctor and me, that the cancer was becoming more aggressive. It was at the point where I was told that the best course of action was either a stem cell transplant, or a clinical trial. It was agreed that with my chromosome 17p deletion, chemotherapy may not be very effective.

Since that gray day in May 2012, knowing I was stage 4, I have seen my cancer go from getting ever more aggressive to remission. All of this happening without chemotherapy, stem cell transplant, or clinical trial.

I do continue to eat 15 to 18 bitter apricot seeds everyday. I have an apple twice a week, and also the seeds in it. I call it God’s chemotherapy.

As I look back on that day in 2010, when I was first told I have cancer, I have come to realize that it is not just cancer, but a terminal disease. It was March 2011 when the doctor told me I had Small Lympocytic Lymphoma/Chronic Lympocytic Leukemia (SLL/CLL) and that there was no cure. I guess that was a nice way of saying your cancer is terminal.

(Bing dictionary: causing death: inevitably, but often gradually leading to death of the patient affected.)

While focusing on what has happened to me, I remembered back to the time when I first realized that everyone, including myself had a terminal condition.

However this terminal condition was and is, far worse than the physical one I have now. This one is eternal, forever, with no end.

God wrote in stone what His commandments (the law) were. And to fix them in stone, must mean they are quite important.

1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods besides Me.

2. Thou shalt not make for thyself any graven image.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy Father and Mother.

6. Thou shalt not murder.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

10. Thou shalt not covet.

So I thought back to the time when I asked myself, okay what commandments have I broken? To many, was my answer. Then I realized that if it was only one, I would still be guilty under the law. So without listing all of them in order again, I knew I was an idolater, adulterer, thief, liar, and so on.

As I began to read more of what God had to say, I came across these verses. Romans 2:15 clearly shows that the works of the law are clearly written in our hearts, as our conscience bears witness to it.

Now Romans 3:19 says: “Now we know that whatsoever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God.”

And “Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall be no flesh justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.” Romans 3:20

So I thought, when God judges me, am I innocent of sin, or guilty of sin? I had to conclude, if I was to be honest with myself, I am guilty of sin. I read that the wages of sin is death. Of course back then I was very healthy and realizing that sin led to death, I found nothing appealing about it. I also did not find the second death very appealing either. I did not want to go to hell, period.

Realizing how serious God was about sin, and how severe sin really is, I asked Jesus Christ to save me. I truly felt sorry for everything wrong I had done, even though I knew I could not make most of them right. I still believed Jesus would and could save me from the holy judgment of God. Now more than thirty years later, I am confident He did.

Now in this present time of my life, physical death does not seem as bad to me, as it once did. But that second death, well I am still not crazy about it, and you shouldn’t be either.

“And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.” Revelations 20:14.

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murders and whore mongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone; which is the second death.” Romans 21:8.

Well if the above is true, then God must punish law breakers. But I am told, He is to good to let people go to hell. Well, if someone steals from me, goes to court, is found guilty, under the law, and then the good judge lets that person go. I would not conclude that the judge is good. It is just the opposite, those under the law are found guilty because the judge is good.

So if God is truly good, then He must be just. That’s just great, because He is good, and I have broken His laws, I must pay. So the wages of sin is truly death! So how do I get out from being under the law?

Since that time way back in 1978 I have heard many people, over the years, say many things concerning God, I have been told about His goodness, His meanness, His anger, His Holiness, and every other description that man could think of.

Then I read what Jesus Christ says, “take my yoke and put it upon yourself, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest unto your souls.”

But wait I then read that God commended His love toward me, in that while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. Romans 5:8.

And again I read that Christ died for my sins according to God’s word. 1Corinthians 15:3

Then I am told that Christ redeemed me from the curse of the law. Galatians 3:13.

So what am I to make of all of this? Because God is good, He will fulfill His justice, according to the law. And then I find He has fulfilled the demands of the law.

By His goodness, He sent His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to stand in my, our place, and receive His judgment.

For the wages of sin is truly death, but the gift of God is eternal life. How? Through Jesus Christ.

For the son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many.

So if your heart condemns you because of the commandments of God (law), know that God is greater than our hearts, and knoweth all things. Also know that the Son of God is come, and has given us an understanding that we may know Him that is true, and we are in Him that is true, even in his son Jesus Christ. This is the true God and eternal life.

I was told by someone, this all sounds great, but you must really believe it, not just say you do. That person was absolutely correct, and without realizing it, knows what the Gospel really is.

“If you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus Christ, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” “For with the heart, man believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. “Romans 10:9&10.

We hear a watered down gospel these days, God is love, God forgives, God cares about you, and all of that is true. But we have neglected to say that God is also Just, and Holy. There is no darkness in Him at all. He renders judgment on those who are under the law, and have not followed the law.

After revealing the whole truth, as written in His word, then and only then can we declare what else He has done.

For Christ is the end of the law, for righteousness to everyone who believeth. -AND- Knowing that man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ and that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

I would like to thank all of you who read my blog. May God show you His truth in all matters.

It has been awhile since my last blog, but honestly, I was just not in the proper frame of mind to write anything.

Let me begin by telling you that I had very high hopes of getting into a clinical trial that looked to be the answer to my SLL/CLL 17p deletion problem. My doctor ordered all the tests I needed to send for my approval of entering the trial. I was told that I was perfect for this trial, especially as no other therapies offered good results for me. The day I received my results, and was getting them ready to mail, I received a call from the Chief doctor of the clinical trial, informing me that the trail had been filled, and there were no more spaces for me.

After several hours of concern, doubt, and worry, these words entered my mind. We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.

I say this with humility, but never less it is true. I slept very good that night, and so far every night since then.

I was reminded this morning, of that day, and wanted to share this.

One main problem with walking by faith is it often causes us to worry. Why is that? Well “faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” It is impossible to walk by faith and see or know how something, or for that matter anything, is going to work out. In fact, the more we want to walk by faith the more evidence we see that things are not working out so well. We continually imagine how they could work out, or how they should work out, but usually end up disappointed as one scheme after another seems to fall apart.

I believe this is why Jesus broke this faith business down for us in the Sermon on the Mount. When Jesus calls on us to quit worrying about our lives so much, He uses the analogy of the birds and wildflowers in nature. In this sermon, He illustrates the faithfulness of God to meet our needs continuously. Jesus says, “take no thought of your life, or what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body to what you should wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing.” In other words, stop worrying and scheming to make things happen. Then He talks about God taking care of the birds, and how the flowers grow without having to do anything. Then Jesus concludes with, “if God does this for the birds and flowers, don’t you realize that He will do even more for you, ye of little faith.” He then reminds us that no amount of worry can change us in any way, and calls on us to focus our attention on God’s kingdom and His righteousness instead.

I know this will sound contrary to most; Christians as well as non-christians. For most of us plan daily to do what is needed to succeed. But I say that living in these times, being that most are living on the edge, this admonition to stop worrying is just as relevant today as it was when Jesus gave this sermon 2000 years ago.

Jesus hits the nail on the head when he refers to us as, “ye of little faith”. Please realize that this statement from Jesus is not so much a rebuke as it is an explanation of our problem. It’s not that we don’t have enough faith (the faith as small as a mustard seed is enough to move mountains), but that we seldom use the faith we have been given. Rather than trust God to do what He says He will do, we prefer to worry, complain, and then attempt to fix the problem as quick as possible. Have you noticed how quickly we forget about things God has miraculously provided for us in the past? That’s because faith must be exercised daily rather than just once in a while.

Jesus knows we are going to worry about our lives each day, so He directs us to “seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”. Instead of thinking about our own needs and planning how we are going to get them met, we are told to seek the kingdom of God. This is the place where God is in charge and makes all the decisions. Seeking this kingdom means that we actually want and trust Him to decide what needs to be done regardless of what it may mean to us personally. Plus we are to seek His righteousness, meaning that we are to concern ourselves with living out the life of Christ in the midst of our circumstances. Our lives are much more than what we have and experience in this physical world, we who believe in Christ Jesus, are really awesome spirit beings who are inseparably joined to Christ. He may make our life comfortable in this country, by His mercy, but we are not here just to be comfortable and have a good time. We are here to be Christ to others! We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works which He before ordained that we should walk in them.

Instead of worrying about what is going to happen to me tomorrow, I am called to deal with who I am, and what my purpose is today. Do I have what I need to love others like Christ right now? Can I actually care about others around me today? I have enough problems to deal with today; so I need not worry, nor scheme about those that are coming tomorrow.

Our calling of God in Christ Jesus is summarized by the new command to love others like Christ. That we can do no matter what circumstances we face each day. By exercising that tiny faith I have been given, I attempt to love others believing the promise of God. I’ll attempt to face tomorrow the same way.

Good day to all of you who have taken the time to spend these few moments with me. In this part of the world, the weather is beautiful. Some may not like it at 92 degrees, but it suits me just fine. Blue sky, some puffy clouds, and a slight breeze coming off of the water, makes a perfect day.

I saw my doctor yesterday, and we had quite a good talk. All of my numbers, except my platelet count, were good. Unfortunately, my platelets again dropped, now being at 53,000. Because of this, chemotherapy was brought up again. My Oncologists asked me as I walked in his office, “Do you have any pain around your spleen?’ After answering no, I was told that it is now 5 inches below my ribs. It has doubled in size, and chemotherapy is really required now. I told him I was still feeling great, but was having frequent nose bleeds.

I had been reading about FCR not being a good chemotherapy for my SLL/CLL with the 17p deletion. Most of the time it had not helped the patient, but the toxcity was so bad, it often made the patients with Chromosome 17p deletion worse. The F in FCR which is fludarabine, was very nasty, for our deletion. I had just watched a video the day before about a new chemotherapy that was just as effective as FCR, but had much less toxicity. It is called Bendamustine and Rituximab (BR), Bendamustine is called Treanda in the United States, but has been used for CLL in Germany for years. Anyway, as we were talking, the doctor said that my chemo would not be FCR but BR. Wow, I got a big smile on my face, and told him I was happy that it would not be FCR, and that I had just seen a video about BR. He told me it still may not work, as no chemo to date has been very effective for 17p deletion, but it would be less toxic and I would only be in the hospital for two days, instead of three. I already knew that there was no guarantee, but at least, to date, it has not shown to make patients with 17p worse.

I have to add here, that the response rate for those of us with the 17p deletion is not good even with BR, but it is a start. We then talked about the new and exciting Ibrutinib (formally known as PCI-32765). I told him I have a friend, where I used to live, who had what I have, and was put in a trial almost three ago, after being told that there was nothing that would help her. The trial was PCI -32765 and shortly after starting the trail, all here blood counts went back to normal, and she has been fine since. She has to take this pill every day, but it has kept her CLL stable so far. He knew about this BTK inhibitor, and went to the FDA website. He was pleased to see that it had been sent in for approval, but no approval yet. At it looks right now, if the best happens, approval may come near the end of this year

With knowing that, the question was, do we wait for the approval, if it comes, or do chemotherapy now? He told me that we were at a point where we needed to make a decision. I asked him if we could wait another month, see the next blood results, and then discuss beginning chemotherapy again, and he agreed. I don’t know if I am making the right decision, but I do know that chemicals in your body are not good. As he said, if my platelets move lower next time, I will have to accept the fact that chemotherapy is a must. I do realize that, and will accept it. I just don’t want to jump into this thing to fast. I feel so good now, that it is hard to agree to something that may make you feel really bad. Of course, there is no guarantee that I will feel bad, I may have the BR and feel the same as I do now.

Boy, it is really hard to figure out what to do, when it concerns your life. Any suggestions out their from my chromosome 17p deletion partners? Or anyone else out there that can offer something that may help me to make a decision.

Until later, I leave this post thanking all who are praying for me, and everyone in my family for being so concerned about me.

Well it is Friday, one day after my visit to the doctor. I am so far feeling the same emotions this morning that I felt when I left the hospital.

As I said in an earlier blog, I have been feeling great, and really believed my blood readings would be better than before. After learning about my 17p deletion, and the usual outcome due to it, I have felt better than I had at any time since finding out about by SLL/CLL.

So how did my blood counts look this time? They were mixed, and unfortunately the one count that needed to be good was not. This is what caused me to have mixed emotions, now for two days.

My WBC (white cell blood count) was at it highest 18,500, on 09/08/2011, yesterday it was 11,000. Normal count for WBC is 4,000 to 10,600, and as you can see, my count is real close to normal, and has come way down.

My HGB (Haemoglobin-protein that transport oxygen) was at it lowest at 11.1 on 1/26/12, yesterday it was 11.4. Normal count for HGB is 12.8-17.0, and as you can see it went up. It may seem to many that it didn’t go up much, however since 1/10/11 it has steadily gone down from 13.3 since then. This is the first time since I was diagnosed that it went up.

Now the one that was very discouraging, my Blood Platelets (stops bleeding). The highest it has been 112,000 was on 1/10/11, and my last reading on 1/26/12 was 62. Yesterday it had fallen to 54,000 which is the one thing my Oncologist is looking at to determine when chemotherapy is required.

So I have to go back on May 25th and if my platelets have not gone back up to 60,000, I am afraid that I will have quite an argument on my hands about starting chemo. I should not be surprised that they were low, as I have had a bleeding nose every morning for the last four days, and last night while sleeping, it started bleeding again, and woke me up. So I am once again trying to raise those pesky platelets.

Now for some other news. Since my wife’s sister and two cousins have been here, we have been to Disney World, Downtown Disney, the beach several times, shopping (not me), eating out, and will be laying on the beach looking at the Atlantic Ocean tomorrow. It has been a nice time for them all, even though I think I may have slowed them down a little bit, but today they are shopping, and I am at home resting.

I thought I would again post my paper on “Why Disease, Hatred, Sickness and Death.” For many who have read it before, know it is my testimony of why I believe I have SLL/CLL, and what really happened. I last posted this paper Sept. 2011, and since then made some revisions. For those of you who have already read it, you will find additions, and hopefully I have made it a little easier to understand my thoughts.

Around the country, we continue to hear about the economic recession, and job loss. Around the world we hear about the latest terrorist attacks. Innocent children are dying of starvation, people are dying of cancer, heart disease, and so on. What in the world has gone wrong? How could a good God create a world so full of disease, pain and death? Pain and suffering afflict even the most seemingly innocent people. Animals rip other animals apart in a desperate attempt to survive. How could any rational person think a benevolent being was behind so much death and suffering?

I have SLL/CLL, that is small lymphocyte lymphoma/chronic lymphocyte leukemia. A cancer in the lymphodes and blood. There is no current cure for these cancers. So why did I get cancer? Some have asked, “Why do you have cancer?” You have been a Christian for 33 years, you have told other about Christ, taught Sunday school, even preached in some churches. I thought God loved you, you are part of His family, why would He do this thing to you?

Well is it God who did this to me, or is it something else that did? The following is what really happened!

Lets take a look at what God did do. Day 1&2 – God created the heavens and the earth and separated the waters from the waters, and He saw that it was good. Day 3 – He made dry land, and saw that it was good, then grass, trees, seed, and saw that it was good. Day 4 – He made the sun, moon, stars, and saw that it was good. Day 5 – God created birds and fish, and saw that it was good. Day 6 – Animals, man and woman were made by Him, and He saw everything He had made, and behold, it was very good.

So what happened? When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. When Adam ate of the fruit, the human race had the death penalty placed on it. God told Adam, to eat of every tree in the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, so death passed upon all men, for all have sinned. We all have Adams DNA, and we all choose to sin.

The tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil – How do we know what is good and what is evil? Where does this knowledge come from? The law, commandments, came by Moses. We also learn the law and laws, from out parents, then school, then peers, then work, society, and church. All religions have some sort of laws, or rules. Governments have rules and laws, Christians, Athiest, Evolutionist, all have rules and laws. We even know it by nature, it is written on our hearts. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; because that which may be known of God is manifest in them, for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of Him from creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they (we) are without excuse.

But the Law is Good – Is the law of God evil? Of course not! It showed me my sin. When I learned the law, I realized I had broke it. So the law that was to show me life, gave me the death penalty instead. Sin took a good law and used it to make me guilty, so death pursued. But the law didn’t change, it is still holy, right, and good. How can that be, the law that is good, brought my condemnation. It didn’t, sin used what was good to bring condemnation. That’s how terrible sin really is. The law is good then, the trouble is with me, because I have sin as my master. So by the deeds of the law, there shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. So what is the conclusion for sin?

THE WAGES OF SIN, OR OUR PAYMENT FOR SIN IS DEATH.

So why do I, and others get cancer that has no cure, and can and does cause death? Why are you going to die? Whether from old age, accidents, diseases, war, you name it, all of us, and those who are considered the very best of us will die. Why? Because of the law, which gave us the knowledge of sin, which Adam and all of us chose by disobeying God. So I must conclude that God didn’t cause me to have cancer, my race and I chose it.

These are the facts as I see and read them. No scare tactics, not trying to get you to live a better life. Why, even when we try, we fail daily and completely more often than not. For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. So we can all conclude that no one does good, we try, but we fail, why, because we are born in sin, born self centered, self important, wanting, etc.

There’s got to be a better way? Yes, there is, Jesus said – “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believes in me, though you were dead, yet shall you live.” This is good news, true news, needed news, and eternal life giving news. Do you realize that the last enemy that shall be destroyed is death, and knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him.

Question: so what happens when some one asks Christ to save them? We are buried with Jesus by baptism into death, and as Christ was raised up from the dead, we are raised with Him. (This is not the physical water baptism we see in churches.) So if we are with Him in death, we will be with Him in His resurrection. Knowing this, our old man is crucifed with Him, we should not serve sin. For he that is dead is freed from sin. Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ being raised from the dead, dieth no more; death has no more dominion over Him. Christ died unto sin once, and now lives unto God. So realize that your are dead indeed to sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Yes, but I still sin. Sin still persists, because you and I still have these physical bodies. Our cursed physical bodies have not died yet. (We still have physical death, sickness, disease, and so on.) It is our cursed and eternal sinful spirit that I am talking about.

God said that He formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.

We are a new creation in Christ, born again with a new nature, God now sees our new nature, even though we are still stuck in our physical bodies. Notice that I said “God now see our new nature. He only sees Christ in us, His Spirit in us, and our born again spirit in Him, perfect, loved, loving, sinless, that will live forever. So then, it is my old body, my physical body (sins of the flesh) that is going to die. It is the sins of the flesh which is still under the law, and is emnity with God, that will die. In Christ, God only sees you and me as righteous, as Christ is righteous. My new man, my new nature, my spirit, in my new body, is what is living forever, and not just forever, but forever with Christ.

So how do I ask Christ to save me? Repent and believe. What does it mean to repent? To change direction 180 degrees. In other words, change what you believe, and believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some become Christians, and to change (repent), start going to church, try feeding the poor, give to charity, and on and on (by the way, these are good things, and Christians are called to love and help others). But after awhile, we tire of doing these things. our feelings may have been hurt by another Christian, we are young in our Christian walk, and believe things that others tell us, things that God does not say in His word. Things become more important, and doing good, becomes less and less a part of our lives. Not only that, but we find sin has reared up its ugly face again, and even worst, we are not only sinning, but we are living with a spirit of self-righteousness, judging others, their life styles, their dress, and even their words. Look, speak out for your values, for your beliefs, share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but only because you love others, not because you condemn them. If your repentence is condemning, you have gone back to that which you have been freed from, the law of the knowledge of good and evil. So be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.

To repent, is to stop believing that as a believer, you are under the law of Moses, instead believe now that you are under Gods grace. Christ fulfilled that law, and paid the penalty of death for it, so youare no longer condemned by it. Change what you think, not what you do. God will take care of the doing.

But what if I seek to be made right with God through faith in Jesus Christ, and find out that I am still a sinner? Has Christ led me into sin? Of course not! Rather I make myself guilty if I rebuild the old system I already tore down. For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. So I died to the law, so that I may live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God. I am not one of those that treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if I could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die. So if you chose to put your faith in Christ, do not at a later time try to become perfect by your own human effort.

What is the Gospel? The good news about Jesus Christ. That Christ came, died, rose again, and anyone who believes in Him, will have eternal life, with Him. It is not more, nor is it nothing less than that. No human religion, no religious acts, no good deeds, nothing but Christ. The Bible declares that the gospel which was preached, is for you to receive, and has been received by many, wherein you may stand. It also states that by this gospel, you also are saved. Just remember what it says, otherwise your belief is in vain. For what was told and then written, and now delivered unto you, and that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures. This is the Gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ.

So I can’t sin anymore. Wow, so I can do anything and it will be okay, right! Many believe that they can sin, because we are not under the law anymore, but under grace. God forbid, know ye not that to whom you yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness. But God be thanked, that you were servants of sin, but you have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being made free from sin, you became servants of righteousness. Once you belong to Christ, and find yourself fighting not to sin, know it is your old nature (fIesh), that wants to sin. Remember you are a new creation in Christ, never having sinned, not sinning now, and will not sin in the future.

I live in this physical body, trying daily to obey the law (commandments), even though I know that my eternal spirit, is no longer judged, nor accused by those laws. I thank God, through Jesus Christ my Lord for that. So then with my spirit, I serve the law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin. There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

I must point out here that walking, in the Spirit is characterized by the thoughts, beliefs and attitudes held by each of us, and serving the law of God, only happens by a continual reliance upon the power of the Holy Spirit, not on our ability, to overcome the power of sin in the flesh.

So how does Gods law tell us to live in the Spirit? Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Please note that not everyone who calls themselves Christian, are believers in Christ. Christ said, “many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? And in your name have cast out devils? And in your name done many wonderful things. And then Christ will profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.” Christ does not say, look I knew you, but you screwed up, so you are not saved anymore, no He does not say that. He says I never knew you.

The time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe the gospel, these are Christ words. For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works which God has before ordained that we should walk in them. So please remember, the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

What does that mean? Grace and truth came by Jesus Christ. We live our lives under the law, we then ask Jesus to save us, He does, then we try to do good things, we work to keep our salvation. We usually fail, give up, and worry that we might not be saved. Yes as I said earlier, do good works, but don’t count it for righteousness. Work out your own salvation, with fear and trembling, for it is God that works in you, both to will and to do His good pleasure. Notice we are not told here to work for our salvation, but to work it out, or demonstrate its reality in our daily lives. Our salvation must be entirely received by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, or else it is not true salvation. Inclusive yes, but it is not me that said that, it is Jesus Christ himself that did. “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father, but by me.” Again Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life, anyone that believe in me, though they were dead, yet shall they live.” Yes it is inclusive, but free for all to join, so tell others about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If you join me in this story, don’t try to make anyone believe it, nor condemn them if they don’t, just tell them.

Sanctify the Lord in your hearts; and be ready always to give an answer to anyone who asks you a reason of your hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.

Christ and only Christ saves, nothing else. My eternal spirit will live forever, in my new resurrected body (I trust Christ only). How about you? Some will live forever with Christ, and some will live with the spirit of the old man, old sinful nature, paying the wages of sin by living an eternal spiritual death, separated from Christ, cursing the fact that they are eternal beings, in a bottomless pit, with no way out. The bottomless pit that was made for fallen angels, but many of us chose to go there also.

The Bible has something to say about this choice. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of the things that were written in the books, according to their works, and the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them, and they were judged, everyone according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosever was not found written in the book of life, was cast into the lake of fire.

Those who are in prisons, that is behind bars, or those who are behind bars in their own mind, fears, emotions, and diseases, know the burden of the law first hand. It takes away many freedoms, dreams, joys, and much more. This life is sometimes hard for us, and for some, very hard, but what’s to come, may be harder, and definitely longer. Who wants this for an eternity!

If the opportunity ever arises, please read Luke 16:19-31 and then answer this question: Will you be the one who will not be persuaded, neither will one raised from the dead, persuade you.

But not as the offense, so also is the free gift; for if by the offense of one, many did die, much more the grace of God, and the free gift in grace of the man Jesus Christ, abound to many.

Speak the truth with humility and love. Walk in the same way Christ did. Christ tells His disciples just before He left, “A new commandment I give unto you, love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another, and this is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.

We live in a world of choas, hurricanes, tornado’s, floods, sickness, children starving, wars, people killing each other. Do you now, or can you now see that it is not God who causes or caused these things, but man. When God created everything, on those first six days, He said everything was good, very good.

The judgement on man, which affects the whole universe, came when man freely chose to disobey, and sin and death entered into man, and all creation was cursed. We must conclude with this, disease, pain and death, innocent children dying, people dying of cancer, heart disease, is not because of what God did, but because of what we, as a human race did, and do now to ourselves, and others. It is you and I who are part of that race. But thank God for Jesus Christ, who came, was born a human, died as a human, paying the death penalty for sin, for the human race. Then rose again, bodily, defeating death forever. So I conclude that I have cancer, not because of what God did, but because of what I, as part of the human race did. I thank God for Jesus Christ who came, was born, died, and rose again, all this for you and me.

Tough: Able to withstand great strain without tearing or breaking. Resilient, firm in texture, but flexible and not brittle. Able to withstand adverse conditions, or rough or careless handling. Will bend, twist, without tearing or breaking. Does anyone see a difference between the two?

Learn to hang around with the one who is really tough. He left glory, cloaked His glory, became a man, falsely accused, found guilty of breaking the law. Beaten, cut, stabbed, laughed at, mocked, nailed to a cross, only said, forgive them Father, they know not what they do. This same man could have weakened, broke, and destroyed everything and everyone, just with speaking only a word. but chose instead to be tough. Why? because he cared about you and me so much, that He would die, so we may live. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Another beautiful day here in a place where the sun shines over 300 days per year. The day started out in the low 50’s, but has rapidly risen into the 70’s. I am feeling great, and thank God that I do feel so good. As I read what others, with my SLL/CLL depletion say, I must thank God, who keeps me feeling healthy, normal, and enjoying everyday just as others do, even when my body is sick. As I think of the four years, going on five now that I have had this cancer, I really have found no physical changes, nor things I cannot do that any other 68 years would do. I also realize that many have and are praying for me, and I am very thankful to all of you.

Yesterday I was at the VA Hospital to give some blood for a new research program that is starting. My DNA will be taken from my blood sample, and research will be done, looking at my health background, and my DNA, hoping to be able to use the research to find cures for many different diseases in the future. The VA is hoping to have one million veterans participants in the research program. If they achieve their goal, it may be one of the largest research programs ever done.

If you are a veteran, and learning about this program for the first time, call your VA clinic and you will be able to get more information.

In earlier posts I have commented on the success enjoyed by FCR (fludarabine, cyclophosphamide and Rituxan) as the present day “gold standard” in the treatment of previously untreated patients. For those of us with the 17p deletion the success enjoyed by so many with FCR combination looks not to be so good. Unfortunately this gold standard does not work well for the 17p deletion and can even cause more severe results in some cases. So, if FC + Rituxan is good, how about substituting the other FDA approved monoclonal Campath in place of Rituxan? If FC + Rituxan is good, would FC + Campath be even better – since Campath packs more punch and is also thought to work in 17p deleted high risk patients?

After a trial, for FC+Campath, in Germany, the results 8 deaths among 29 responding patients due to disease progression, Richter’s syndrome (2 patients), and one major late infection (tuberculosis). Progressive disease was the cause of death in 11 cases among 14 non-responding patients, shows it is not better and personally, seems real bad to me. Fludarabine and Campath (also known as alemtuzumab ) are extremely immune suppressive. Of all the drugs you are likely to encounter in your CLL journey, these two drugs are most justly infamous for destroying T-cell counts. And not having sufficient number of T-cells leaves people wide open to opportunistic infections and even secondary cancers – just think of the health issues associated with advanced AIDS patients and you get the picture. Using both of these drugs (Campath and fludarabine) at the same time would be doubling down on the risk of extreme immune suppression. Patients would be at significantly higher risk of infections and even secondary cancers, when their immune defenses are down for a prolonged period of time. So for those with 17p deletion, neither FCR or FC+Campath is very acceptable. I guess if I had to decide on which one I would take, it would be FCR even though the average remission time, if obtained, is usually less than a year, but can last as long as three years. Of course being on watch and wait, I do not have to be concerned nor consider those remission times yet.

I think that a stem cell transplant is probably the best way to go, but it is not always possible. Age is a factor, cost another, and finding a donor is not always easy. Stem cell transplant technology is a rapidly developing field. The good news is that survival statistics and cure rates are increasing slowly but surely, year by year.

There are two types of stem cells, hematopoietic stem cells ( hematopoietic stem cells found in the baby’s cord blood), Adult hematopoietic, (Adult stem cells) or blood-forming, stem cells from bone marrow), and the other isembryonic stem cells created when a human egg is fertilized by human sperm.

Being aware that I may need a stem cell transplant at some time, made me look into the matter more closely, and knowing what I now know, about adult stem cells, harvesting Embryonic stem cells seems senseless. This push for the use of embryonic stem cells, is hard to understand for me, considering the medical fact that, although there are over 100 effective treatments using adult stem cells (which are in ample supply), no treatments have resulted from even the embryonic stem cell lines that have already been established. Embryonic stem cells have never cured anything, and in many cases where they were tried, on animals, caused only tumors.

SLL/CLL is only one disease where hematopoietic stem cells are used, and can make all the different varieties of cells present in your blood. HSC can make red blood cells, platelets, lymphocytes, macrophages etc. They have been found to be very successful when used. When I first found out that I had SLL/CLL and then was told, at some time in the future I may need a stem cell transplant, my heart dropped. Not knowing about adult stem cells, and there success, I knew when I was told, that I would not accept any embryonic stem cell. I accepted the fact, right there and then, if that was my last chance to live, then I would die

Hematopoietic stem cells needed for transplants are obtained from two sources and only these two sources (1) willing and healthy adult donors who are doing it for no other reason than generosity and desire to save lives (2) Umbilical cord-blood, a “waste” product that is generally thrown away after a baby is born. The baby is born, alive, going home with his or her mom and dad..

We now have non-myeloablative (also called “mini-transplant”, “transplant-lite”, or “reduced intensity transplant”, is a stem cell transplant from a donor (allogeneic) that uses a less aggressive combination of chemotherapy and/or radiation to prepare the patient for the transplant)pre-conditioning. It still uses massive amounts of chemotherapy, and many institutions still use low dose radiation as part of the protocol. But it is nowhere as high impact as earlier myeloablative procedures. The result has been that older patients, like me, are now eligible for transplantation, as well as those who are not quite marvels of good health and fitness.

There is a lot more information about stem cell transplants, however I will stop here. I am not there yet, although my Oncologists did mention it again, after telling me I had a 17p deletion.

After reading what I just wrote, I thought of the following Bible verses – For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3.

I will be having a very busy week, Thursday I will be seeing my Oncologist, Friday the Urologist, and then on a date yet to be determined, I will be getting a camera up my butt. Not very excited about that one.

My nine-year old grandson called me the other day, after his mom told him that grandpa had to see the Urologist. He told her that he had to talk to his grandpa, right away, so he called me. He told me that it was not to bad seeing the Urologist, and it didn’t hurt much when he checked you out. He told me he would be calling me again to remind me that everything would be okay. He is a pro when it comes to seeing doctors. He has had four operations on his back, due to spina bifada, and continues to have a smile that fills his whole face. If I can learn any lesson from him, it is that joy and happiness is not dependent on your current situation. For those who know him, he lights up a room with his cheerfulness.

I think I will talk about the spleen and how it works for us. You can think of the spleen as a blood filtering organ. It is about the size of your clenched fist and located just a little lower than your rib cage, on the left side of your body. Normally it’s not possible to feel your spleen by mere poking around, even if you are skinny. But when it is enlarged (either due to CLL or some other illness such as an infection) a trained doctor can feel the tip of the spleen just below the rib cage by physically touching that area. If your spleen can be felt by just touching, it is already enlarged beyond its normal size. A CAT scan will reveal exactly how enlarged it is and whether it needs to be treated. I can easily feel mine, especially when I am laying on my back.

Most often you are not likely to feel any symptoms of spleen enlargement, at least during early stages of the process. But as it grows larger it may press against your stomach and that may cause you to feel full – I am finding that I am not able to eat those large meals, that I used to eat. However, I had a very large meal at a restaurant yesterday afternoon, and immediately had some minor pain in my stomach. I have read that patients with very large spleens sometimes walk funny, but that is not my case, I have walked funny all my life (lack of vitamin C I think). Seriously, I still walk the same, and have no back pain, so my spleen may not be in that very large category.

More important symptoms of an enlarged spleen are anemia and thrombocytopenia – low red blood cell counts (4.23-5.75 is good) and low platelet counts (160,000-410,000 is good), respectively, which in my case (as of 1/06/12 RBC 3.42 and Platelets 63,000) . These are the two symptoms that matter most to us as CLL patients and I will be focusing on them. As you would guess, side effect of low red blood cell counts is deep fatigue. Red blood cells carry oxygen and with reduced oxygen carrying capacity fatigue follows soon after. So far I have been quite fortunate in this area, I do not get fatigued, but I do loose my breath quickly. Similarly, low platelet counts mean poorer blood clotting capability and you may find you are prone to bleed longer if you cut yourself accidentally. This is my big problem, example, four weeks ago, my nose started bleeding, and wouldn’t stop. After one and one half hour of bleeding, my wife had to take me to the VA Clinic. I have personally found that having low platelets is not a good thing.

Again, your spleen acts like a spongy filter for your blood. As blood circulates through your body, some of the cells (red blood cells, platelets) get worn down and damaged. It is the spleen that removes these damaged cells from circulation. The spleen also acts as a storage location for extra red blood cells and platelets newly minted by your bone marrow.

Unlike red blood cells and platelets which are manufactured only in your bone marrow, lymphocytes can also multiply in the lymph nodes and the spleen. In healthy individuals the spleen is important in putting out additional troops of lymphocytes when an infection is detected (one of several types of white blood cells) (20-46 is good, mine being 55). Again I know it is high and not good, but I have been free, so far, of any illnesses or infection. I will say here, that my overall white blood cell count is on my side so far (4.0-10.6 is good, mine is 12.5). Now I know this is not a good reading either, but over the last six months it has been as high as 18.5. Hence, your spleen is an important part of the first line of defense in fighting invading pathogens. The spleen also serves to trap some bacteria.

An enlarged spleen affects many vital functions. For instance, as your spleen grows larger, like any clogged filter it starts to trap normal red blood cells as well as abnormal or damaged ones, reducing the number of healthy cells available for your bloodstream and it also traps platelets, my biggest problem. Eventually, excess blood cells and platelets trapped, further clog your spleen, interfering with normal functioning. It can even outgrow its own blood supply, which can damage or destroy sections of the organ.

As my spleen enlarges, because of my SLL/CLL, it poses a special problem. As the filtering capacity of my spleen gets compromised, perfectly good red blood cells and platelets get trapped in there and as seen above, and there is a drop in these blood cell counts every time I get a CBC blood test. Even if your bone marrow is doing its job and turning out the required number of red blood cells and platelets, and there is no trace of autoimmune disease, the fact that your spleen is trapping these good cells can play havoc with your blood counts. And as you know by now, it is not a good idea to live long without healthy red blood cell or platelet counts.

Equally serious is the risk of a ruptured spleen. Even in healthy people it is possible to get spleens damaged, especially in car crashes and contact sports like football. Rupture is a much more likely possibility when your spleen is enlarged. My doctor has told me that riding my motorcycle is not the safest way of travel, and my wife agrees. I know that, but I also know that leaving the house and walking may not be the safest mode of travel either, especially if a car runs over me. I realize this is not the greatest reasoning, but hey, what else do I have, I like to ride my motorcycle. I guess what I am saying here, is that I cannot be afraid to live my life, I do take precautions, just like everyone else, but I don’t know the future, so why fret over it.

It is important to understand the reason for the enlarged spleen, and I believe my Oncologist has, concerning mine, and therefore target the treatment to correct the problem. If the cause for splenomegaly is an infection, then it is appropriate to treat the infection with antibiotics. But if the underlying problem is CLL, then it makes sense to treat the CLL itself with appropriate chemotherapy. In many cases treating the spleen may take center stage if it is causing sharp drop in red blood cell counts and platelets. This is the one factor that has placed me in Stage 4, and will require me to have chemotherapy more than any other thing.

If you have an enlarged spleen, it makes sense to avoid sports such as skiing, football and hockey, but not motorcycle riding.

If you have had a splenectomy, you might consider getting one of those medical bracelets that says so.

Last but not least, please remember that while a splenectomy is not something a healthy person would want to do just for fun, in many CLL patients suffering from fatigue, shortness of breath, as a result of dropping red blood cell counts, and excessive bleeding because of low platelets, getting rid of the diseased spleen will give you a new lease on life. Making these tough calls is what often sets apart the survivors from the easy victims in this deadly serious CLL “game”.

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne. Hebrews 12:1-2