Differences Between America & Canada

Is A Trump Presidency Inevitable? 16 Things You Need To Know Before Moving To Canada

With Ted Cruz dropping out of the race for leadership of the Republican party yesterday, Donald Trump is now one step closer to the presidency. If you're seriously considering a move to the Great White North to flee such a scenario, here are some things you should know.

Google searches for how to move to Canada saw an amazing 1,500% spike following Super Tuesday. If this whole “President Trump” thing actually happens, we Canadians might need that wall to prevent a mass influx of illegal immigrants.

I’m kidding. Anyone fleeing Trump would probably fit in quite well in Canada. I’ve lived here my whole life, but traveled the U.S. extensively, write for a lot of American publications, and through my work I have made many American friends. I also watch your TV and movies, so I feel like I understand you folks reasonably well (and I like you guys too — unless you’re planning to vote Trump — then I’m confused by you).

Anyway, you might be in for a bit of a culture shock if you move here, but if you do decide to flee the combed-over horror, here are some things you should know:

Our TV shows suck
Canadian news is fine, and our hockey coverage blows yours away, but our fiction programming is the worst thing ever. I think the only reason it exists is due to government grants, because culture, or something. One exception is Vikings (read my interview with the stars about their workout regimens), which is a joint Canadian-Irish program. The rest of it has the quality of a junior high school play. That’s why most of the shows we watch are American.

You’ll hear some great music you’ve never heard before
We may suck at TV, but we rock at rock. If your idea of Canadian music is Nickelback, Bieber and Celine Dion then you’re in for a surprise. Canadian radio stations are federally mandated to play a minimum amount of Canadian artists, and there are a lot of bands that end up being pretty popular up here that nevertheless can’t compete in the American market.

Yes, it’s cold as f*ck, but we deal with it
The vast majority of the Canadian population lives not far from the American border, so if you’re in a northern state then the difference in winter won’t be that significant. The short days in December can suck (I’m in Calgary and we only get eight hours of sunlight at the winter solstice, but the 16 hours of sun on June 21 kind of makes up for it). One noticeable difference is that a lot of Canadians embrace winter. Kids rarely miss school, we put winter tires on our cars, we get out and play, we walk into banks with our faces covered by balaclavas and no one freaks out …

We’re mostly metric
Those Canadian winter temperatures will be measured in Celsius. And distances and speeds are in kilometers. Except we spell it “kilometres.” You’ll also fill your car up with litres of gas (note the spelling). Although we’re officially metric across the board, because of American influence we mostly talk about our weight in pounds and our height in feet and inches. Speaking of weight …

We’re not as fat
Yes, obesity is a problem up here too, but if you’ll excuse the pun, it’s not as big of a problem. We have a measurably lower rate of overweight and obese people, and higher physical activity rates. We’re a little more rugged and outdoorsy and a little less inclined towards comfort and convenience eating, and the results are seen in our smaller waistlines.

Our current leader is kind of like Bernie Sanders
Canada legalized gay marriage over a decade ago. We’ve had socialized healthcare forever and although higher education isn’t free, it isn’t nearly as expensive as in the U.S. When it comes to our leaders, the old guy we kicked out last year was pretty right wing (by our standards), but the new guy is a younger fella who I’m sure is downright commie to Republican eyes. He’s taking steps to make pot legal countrywide, greets Syrian refugees at the airport, marches in gay pride parades and hangs out in mosques to learn more about his fellow Canadians.