My dd10 best friend has three older brothers and their mum is passed away so they live with just their dad. Their dad grew up living next door to my husband and they've been very close all their lives. My issue is my dd is asking about sleepovers constantly. I'm concerned as the dad while a great dad in many ways wouldn't be fully clued in to what could be going on behind his back or what the consequences of letting them do some things could be (if that makes sense). We are out the country and dd is our eldest so she's innocent in many ways that her friend who lives in town isn't. I'm just wondering what others feel with regards to whether it's suitable for her to stay over at friends house with so many males Her brothers are 11 12 and 16. Recently I was on the verge of allowing her when I realised the brothers were having friends over as well.

I would never have had my teenager ds's friends here when dd had sleepover. I was always here but l felt girls parents would not be happy with it. I think you always have to be cautious having other people's children in your house and if you feel that dad isn't clued in then don't do it. It does seem a bit insulting though to have a sleepover at your house so l would leave sleepovers altogether at the moment. Maybe tell the dad if he needs his dd minded you are quite happy to have her over night anytime so it's more a favour than anything and they still can have fun.

I've 3 young kids, 2 sons and a daughter and totally agree with everyone. Wouldn't want any of my kids sleeping in a house with a mix of kids of different genders that age and the dad not too clued in. 2 close friends of mine were abused by teenage babysitters (and i've heard a couple of similiar stories about people I dont know as well) so i don't think I would ever have a teenage boy babysit. Or let either of my two sons babysit. Might be paranoid but they're still children really at the age and would be so awful if any of them got involved in any sort of abusive situation out of innocence.

If I'm reading the ops post correctly, her daughter is 10...that's pre teen to me, the boys are teenagers. I'm not for one minute saying the boys are sex starved, as an adult we are the ones to make these sort of decisions for our kids, I had an olde cousin try to feel my boob when I was 10/11...I'm not scared or abusee by any means but I have always kept my distance from that cousin to this day! No minor be they boys or girls should be left in a position that something could happen, something can start inocently, a game etc and all it takes is one suggestion from one kid to try something! So agree to disagree but this is just a fact of life!

Dawntime it's about being realistic, the girls are pre teen, teenage boys and pre teen girls are certainly not a combination I would favour. Curiosity and hormones, along with the added excitement of a sleep over in my book is a recipe for disaster, I did say in my post sleepovers are at the parents discression, I for one would not let my daughter sleep over with any one only her cousins or a close friend of mine.

its just life, i have a teenage son and would just as much not want him sleeping over with pre teen girls, I wouldn't want him in that situation...and I would not be offended if someone did not want their daughter sleeping over if only my partner and son and possibly his pals were there and I was out. I would actually expect a parent not to want that!

No way.to b honest,I think it is a bit different with girls.have a teenage son and he used to go on sleepovers.and he was always going to peoples houses.I feel it's different with my dd whose 6.she has sleepovers in my sisters house with her cousins.I feel even funny her going to someone else's house.my mother wouldn't agree with teenager boys minding young girls.she reckons there 're hormones are all over the place and there 're curious.to b honest, reading the thread on abuse survivors here on rollercoaster,it would freak u out leaving them ,just incase

Definitely not! No need to explain yourself either. I really don't get the whole sleepover craze and plan to avoid it for as long as possible and forever if possible! Why would you want a gaggle of kids in your house and why would you want your child to sleep in someone else's house? A young female child in an all male household is a recipe for disaster.

The friend regularly sleeps over at ours, often as favour ie dad having a night out. Dawntime It is the boy thing but more so because there is no mum present and I don't think dad would get why. My two best friends growing up had brothers two years older and we were never out of each other's house. I'm sure dd will stay over in friends houses who have brothers but not this one. It's just a pity it may cause issues for dh and his friend especially after all the family has been through.

The last day we were there the 11 year old was giving out as sister wouldn't let him in to her bedroom. I was thinking damn right but dad said let him in. Which imo is not a good idea when daughter has friends over. My dh wasn't fully getting it but last night I explained my worries again and he has realised it just isn't appropriate. I know his friend already thinks I am overprotective. They live in an estate that is quite rough and all the kids are always out playing past dark. I just wouldn't allow it as you don't know who could pull up in their car. I live in the middle of nowhere but dd was only allowed to play in back garden until I got gates put up.

Before I get read the riot act both me and dh grew up in estates (and loved it but would never have been out after dark) and I often think my dd would have a great time with more neighbours. But this estate is full on. Regularly when we're in the estate the neighbours are having blazing rows on the street and friends dad has had to go to neighbours to retrieve things stolen off his sons phones etc..

anyways I think I know I'm right to be not allowing the sleepovers. Just sometimes good to hear others opinions. Thank you for your replies.

Not a hope would I let my little girl stay over, I would not even feel I need to give an explanation or be embarrassed I front of the family. sleep overs are at your discression, but sending a child to a house hold full of older boys, that could possibly even have their friends over is simply not a smart decision. no no no and no way again!!!!

No I wouldn't allow it. You just never know especially with friends of the older boys being there too. I personally would just err on the side of caution. Would you invite her friend over to yours for a sleepover?

It's a very awkward one but I would not want my daughter to stay on a sleepover there but how do you refuse without upsetting your child & offending her friends Dad! Has she been on sleepovers before or could you just put a ban on it & say you don't agree with them?