MATTHEW GREGORY: Academic Pest Control

“Rats roam the library at night,” I told the Dean. “Students bring in food, don’t clean up after themselves. There’s roaches, too.”

She asked for a solution.

“Get rid of them,” I responded.

“Obviously,” she said, then asked, “Rodents or students?”

“Both.”

“They’d still find a way into the building.”

Matthew Gregory is a writer and filmmaker whose short films “Alamogordo, NM,” “guarda innanzi che tu salti,” and “Joseph Jefferson Solves the Hunger Problem” have been featured in the 1:1 Super 8 Cinema Soirée. He has also worked as a writer and camera operator for the forthcoming film Papa. He lives in South Florida.