Thursday, December 3, 2015

FORGIVENESS

I am glad that I'm learning to BE PRESENT with my friends without trying to:

FIX them and their problems

rescue them

tell them what to do (none of my business unless they ask--my friends are groWn-uPs!)

judge them and break up with them 'cuz they are sOsosOosO BROKEN and I am so evolved (good one, huh? I used to tell myself that ALOT!)

A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to me doing the same crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What are you going to do?" and I was like . . . (well, first I have to tell you secretly that I was a little pissed and surprised 'cuz have been allowing people to tell me what to do all my life AND. . . get this. . . I WANTED TO BE RESCUED . . . 'cuz I didn't feel powerful . . . and, I really didn't know what to do sometimes . . .)

Anyway, back to the start of my sentence.

A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to my crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What do you want?" & "What are you going to do?" and I was like (in my grown up spot), "Oh my God! This friend really believes I can solve this myself! Wow! Maybe I can!"---totally new!"

I AM SUPER-CAPITAL "D" DANA!

And now, I can pass on this wisdom to myself and the people I love (you know, like, as in EVERYONE!)

So, as I started in yesterday, next time I speak with my amazing and capable (and dramatic and crazy) friend--

forgiveness

&

gratitude

So today I'll write a bit @ forgiveness:

TOP SECRET: It's not about the person you're forgiving; it's about you and your own freedom. As Chopra writes,

"No one is wrong. In the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness."

~ Deepak Chopra

Just so you know, that doesn't make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Horrible atrocities happen everyday in our world--murder, rape, suicide, child abuse, theft, natural disaster like tornados, hurricanes,

and the list goes on and on . . .

and guess what? . . . pain is part of life. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is, that it's our choice what we do with our pain.

I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode 4 FOREVER! And, I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of feeling like crap, I got sick of my same old victim story, and I had to shift or die a slow spiritual death. The "shift" hit the fan, and I was presented with a choice.

StoRy (you're welcome! . . .): When I was super especially miserable at one point in my life, I began to run--a lot. And I ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran (maybe a bit too much, actually, I have that tendency, if you haven't noticed . . .). I was so burdened, stressed out, burned out, & sad & exhausted one morning, but--I still went running before my kids got up. I turned left onto the three-mile course I did, and I saw about a 15 pound ginormous rock.

Something told me to pick it up . . . and guess what? I ran the whole damn 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! And when I was done, I put down the rock, and I felt as light as air!

That's what forgiveness does.

It frees us.

It makes us lighter.

It means we quit judging others

and making them "wrong" so our egos can be "right", "superior",

and

ALL

THAT!

(and it takes the pressure off . . .)

Anyway, just so you know, I totally get that it's easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, offended, or disgusted by someone else's behavior (which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, get it?). BUT--it's only hurting you (& me & we!)

What teeny tiny thing can you 4-give today!?

Let us know in the comments!

SmooCH!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX dana

p.s here's what Deepak (I'm on a first name basis with him . . . not!) says about forgiveness . . . take a bite!

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About (funfree)Me!

I am a writer, storyteller, teacher, blogger, philosopher, spiritual collagist, mama, LoVer of LiFe!, amazing friend, and one cOoL pUsSy cAt!!
I has been teaching middle school English for over 25 years and hold a Ph.D. in curriculum and instruction with a focus in literacy. My interests in reflection and spirituality stem from my research in adolescent identity formation (translation: how we grow up and become more fully ourselves!), from work on my own transformation, and from my experiences of evolving as a PERFECTly imPERFECkT hu(wo)man BEing!