​This video is part of the video series Born in Hell. This video contains graphic and explicit material. Please listen at your own discretion. If the topics of abuse of any kind, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, or violence bother you, please do not watch this video. ​This pic is my school pic from 9th grade. It was the next summer at age 13 when my mom beat me with the rolling pen in the kitchen, cracking my skull and beating my back, neck, shoulders, ribs until she had no energy left to continue the beating. When she finished beating me, I got up off the kitchen floor and was heading to safety in the living room and my mom spun me around, called me a "fucking slut" and spit in face. I looked at her, I was dizzy, disoriented, could not see, ears buzzing, blood from my cracked skull running down my neck, and I did not know who I was looking at. This could not be my mother I thought to myself. "She must be the devil, or my enemy, but this woman could not possibly be the mother I love" was rolling around in my mind. She shoved me out the door and slammed the front door behind me. I went to my friends house and her parents stepped in. I asked not to be removed from my home. My parents had never thrown any of my 6 siblings out for any reason. Even though they were drug users, thieves, Rob had raped me for a year, my brother Howard had a knife to my sisters throat and threatened to kill her, and my parents never threw them out of the house. My mom had been throwing me out of the house since I was 10 years old and I wanted her to take care of me, to stop hurting me, to love me, to do the right thing by me. This is why it was so important for me to remain in my home. I detailed this beating and a lot more information in my book "A Life of Death: The Redemption". The results from this beating with the rolling pen and having a heavy solid kitchen table shoved into my ribs caused damage to my body and skull, as well as all of the previous beatings and future beatings I would receive. I had a bad car wreck at age 18, in which they had to do full body x-rays checking for broken bones and internal damage to my body. At this time, the specialists revealed to me that the x-rays had shown multiple fractures to my skull in different places, neck damage, cracked and fractured ribs, separated ribs, as well as the hip injury, fractured coccyx and CSA, child sexual abuse. They advised that the damage to my body had been done years before, as these were the old fractures revealed by the x-rays. They asked me if I had been abused at that time. I was over 18 years old and it was up to me to press charges. I was in shock at the time and did nothing about it, as well as I did not care if I lived or died at this time. The same thing happened to me when I went to see the gynaecologist at age 21 in which I had filled out the forms saying I was a "virgin" and had never had sexual intercourse before with anyone. They explained the damage to my body, the scar tissue, and advised that I would probably never be able to become pregnant, or even carry a child, even with reconstructive surgery. I explained that the person who had done that to me was my brother who had raped me from 8 to 9 years old when he was 21 and that he had committed suicide the year before when I was 20 years old.

This pic is extremely small but I cannot seem to find a photo editing program that will allow me to increase the pic size without corrupting the picture. I have this pic on my Flickr site at https://flic.kr/p/772SPvhttps://flic.kr/p/772SPv and if you click on the actual pic it will increase in size so you can actually see it. Top left, Howard, Top centre, Mom, Top right, Rob, Bottom Left, me, Bottom centre next to me, my nephew Mike, Bottom Left next to Mike, my nephew Danny holding our cat. Kathi is right below Rob, and behind Danny.

This pic was taken in the kitchen in the house we lived in right next to the house we used to own on La Veta. This is the kitchen my mom beat me with the rolling pen in. I suffered several horrific beatings from both my parents in this kitchen. My mom spilled by blood three times in this kitchen, as well as threatened my life several times during the beatings. My mom used to keep belts hanging on a nail on the kitchen wall in all the houses we lived in while I was growing up, and I used to have a picture of them in this kitchen.

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