When I was younger, I believed in a bunch of weird conspiracy theories. I believed in ones that sounded plausible, but never went into the pure ridiculous space lizards or hollow Earth stuff. So when the New Zealand Prime Minister John Key takes time out of his day to respond to the accusation of being a giant space lizard, it’s noteworthy. Via The Daily Dot:

That was the hardball question—included in an Official Information Act (OIA) request—that New Zealand PM John Key found himself addressing in comments to the national press this week. He adamantly denied the charge that he was part of an extraterrestrial conspiracy.

“To the best of my knowledge, no,” Key said. “I’ve taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I’m not a reptile … I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”

That’s exactly what a giant space lizard would say! Lizard? I’d call him a Chuzwazzer. Please tell me it gets even more entertaining from here.

Auckland’s Shane Warbrooke was the man who submitted the request to Key’s office; the form demanded, as well as data for Warbrooke’s UFO research, “any evidence to disprove the theory that Mr. John Key is in fact a David Icke style shapeshifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement.” Icke is a British author who contends that a “Babylonian Brotherhood” of reptilian humanoids has infiltrated the highest levels of government and industry worldwide, suspending the rest of us in an illusory “dreamworld.”

Reading that makes me want to smoke a Cuban cigar on top of the White House. Who says that he is a shapeshifting reptilian? Maybe the lizard evolved to having human type skin, and speaking with a wacky accent? This all begs the question: Was Super Mario Bros. a documentary?