When I’m confused, I wear black and when I reach my destination, I discover that ninety percent of the population was as confused when they looked into their wardrobes. Dinners, parties, Saturday nights, clubbing, Halloween, rock concerts, be it anything, I know how most of us will turn up- black shirts, black t-shirts, overrated short black dresses, black gowns, black tunics, black shoes, black jeans, black jackets and some whites. Not that if you are wearing a white number you are any more creative than us. But the unspoken dress code seems to be black. “What are you wearing tonight?” is as good as asking “What colour are the wheels of your car?” Black!

We hail from a country (India) where every celebration is grand, and every party scene traditionally explodes with bright colours, electric hues, shimmer, glitter and shine. It is also a country where, once upon a time, blacks and whites didn’t even exist in one’s wardrobe. They were worn only to funerals or by widows. It’s a good thing that today blacks, whites and greys are experimented with but unfortunately they dominate our party wear. Sexy or not, classy or not, the lack of colour is beginning to bore me!

Nevertheless, tastes change, notions change and so do our styles. But let’s not confuse colours with outfits. I am not a fashion designer nor a model nor a stylist nor the editor of a fashion magazine but I can tell a black gown from a black nightgown. As for the guys, I can tell you were confused– black t-shirt with the superman logo versus plain black t-shirt, white t-shirt with the superman logo versus plain white t-shirt. But you finally settled for a black shirt. That must’ve been a difficult choice!

In the midst of this gloom a lonely red, yellow or green can’t help but scream, “Look at me!” and you’d probably be ousted if you turned up like this for a death metal concert. But it is just a celebration night and colour shall do you no harm. So break the black routine! For the unimaginative ones, I strongly recommend two pints of beer before you open your wardrobe next time. It will enable you to grow the much needed pair of balls to pick a coloured outfit.

where political parties are staunch believers of “Divide and Rule” and are almost always successful at creating rifts between members of different regions and religions.

where a maharashtrian rickshawallah takes offence at being called “bhaiyya” but doesn’t mind being called “uncle.” (He’d rather be British than Bihari.)

where college admissions and recruitments are characterized by regional as well as religious quotas- Gujrati quota, Malyali quota, Catholic quota etc. (Especially in Mumbai where everybody is a minority.)

where residents of the Eastern part of India are called Chinese; at least until they blurt Hindi. The rest of India often has difficulty recalling the states in that area.

where the lower half of the country is called “South India” and the rest of India has no idea which “South Indian” language belongs to which “South Indian” state; for they all “sound” the same.

where getting your children married to members of other regions (or religions) is a grave offence and can severely tarnish the family’s image or infuriate the Gods!

where some people still believe Muslims and Pakistanis are the same entity.

where people cannot survive the state (let alone the country) thus, giving rise to new states.

where whenever we talk about “unity in diversity” we give age old examples of fighting the British rule. (Uniting against a common enemy is not uncommon. It’s called “unity in adversity.”)

where the most recent example of “secularism” that we are surviving on is- a Christian giving her seat to a Sikh to rule a Hindu dominated country. (If awareness doesn’t prevail, we’ll be using this example for an awfully long time.)