To be really upset about this?

My parents have just phoned to tell me they are coming for a surprise visit in 3 days time.

Ok, little bit annoyed that we didn't have more time to prepare but we moved to a different part of the country just before Christmas so I haven't seen them in about 6 months and am happy that they will be visiting, especially since DS really misses them.

The problem us DH doesn't exactly get on with my parents and basically had a massive screaming fit when he found out saying that he has no say in what happens in his own house. He is now demanding that I phone them back and tell them they can't come.

Essentially he is making me choose between offending my parents or upsetting him.

I think you should have checked it out with him first as it's his house too. And of course you would expect the same if he had some family or friends staying. I think your parents should have asked if they could come rather than tell you they were coming. I am assuming they are staying for a few nights and not just visiting.

Just read your next post. They've put your husband in an impossible position really, haven't they - he's going to have to put up with the visit unless he wants to look really unreasonable. As it's their anniversary, presumably they've been thinking about this trip for some time - why not phone you a few weeks back and ask when would be convenient?

I think your parents are being inconsiderate. I also think if you were posting on here about a surprise 4-day stay by critical in-laws you'd get more sympathy than your husband is currently getting on this thread.

I think your Dh is BU. I have a hard time with my family and they live far away so if they come, it is for 4 days minimum. It is wearing, but they are family and unless they say or do something awful we just make the best of it.

They babysit for us one eve, we rent a DVD another, I might get out the scrabble another. My mum likes to cook for us (she is a shocking cook!) so we have to find ways to not let her!

If your husband has reason not to like them' which he does if they have been critical towards him, then I can see where he's coming from.

I would be pretty pissed off if I was told that my in laws would be coming to stay in my home in three days time, and I'd be even more pissed off if my husband thought it was ok to upset me but not his parents, and that I didn't deserve to even have a conversation about something going on in my own home before it happened.

You are being very very unreasonable here. You need to tell your parents that they don't have the right to just announce that they are visiting in three days time.

your dh sounds a bit odd to me . but I am the sort of person who had people to stay regularly and as long as I have a couple of days notice I would be delighted .

have I got it right that you have moved 300 miles away from your parents and they are travelling to see you and your children and your dh is pissed off ? he is a numpty in my humble opinion . which isn't actually that humble in rl

I really like my DP's mum, but i i would be fucked off if he unilaterally decided she was coming to stay for four days and not even bothered to ask me.

OP did you mention that you and your DH will both be off work when your parents visit? Is this time off you'd planned to enjoy by yourselves? If so then I sympathise with him even more.

I do think your parents are slightly taking the piss inviting themselves to y for four days at such short notice. Especially if it coincides with an anniversary. They mustve been planning this for a lot longer.

Like I said, I do really understand why he is upset at not being consulted but I wasn't either! They sort of put me on the spot saying 'we're coming to see you on Wednesday' so I didn't really know how to respond without upsetting them.

I would have liked more notice so I could have discussed it with DH but that didn't happen and I am now stuck between hurting their feeling or DH's

I think you need to tell your parents that in the future they need to give you more notice. Then tell your DH that you spoke to your parents about providing more notice and that he has to suck it up for 4 days. That if he needs to get away from them for a bit to go to the pub for a couple of hours.

Also, plan their 4 day visit. One day or even two be all day out of the house activity, doing some sight seeing. Take your parents out to eat on Thursday. On Friday night, have them babysit while you and your DH go out.