two goodbyes.

March 9, 2019

I wasn’t going to write this post. I thought about it long and hard and wondered if it was even disrespectful to share these images on the internet, with an audience that (though very small) doesn’t really have the right to know anything about the personal lives of my friends and I.

However, this website is and has always been a creative and emotional outlet for me above all else. This post serves as a sort of closure for me. For my WTF project and for an era of my life that I’d give anything to relive just a few moments of… okay, that sounds really cliché. But it’s true.

Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but this past month was the most challenging, saddest month of my life. And guys, I’ve been through some real shit. But nothing comparable to this.

I lost a best friend. My world turned upside down overnight. Everything is changing. I don’t like it.

I won’t be describing all that I, her friends, and her family traversed following the tragedy in detail. That’s not for me to share and even if it was, I wouldn’t want to. But I do feel the need to explain how this loss has shifted my artistic perspective and why my WTF project is ending here, with this final series of images that take us from mid-December 2018 to the very end of January 2019.

The WTF project wasn’t just mine. It was ours. Abby took the photos. Kayoon designed the book layout. The plan was to create a new photobook together every six months. We had so many plans.

This is why the project has to end. There is no WTF without her. And honestly… the title just isn’t working for me anymore. ‘We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing but that’s okay”. Because, um, its sure as hell IS NOT OKAY. Not anymore.

I am in the process of designing the second book at the moment, which she had begun around mid-January. I selected the images and designed the layout myself. My friend Claudia, who is also a communications design major, is assisting me with the cover and text. I’ll share the finished product here when it’s complete and the book will be available for purchase as well, should anyone be interested in buying a copy. The concept is no longer the same… rather than being a visual study of youth culture it’s really just a photo diary of my life that celebrates the love my friends and I have for each other. I’m finishing this project for her.

So, here they are. My very last WTF pictures. December ’18 through January ’19. We didn’t know how good we had it.

I miss you so much, Kayoon. We all miss you so much. Thank you for being the best friend I ever could’ve asked for. I love you.

4 comments on “two goodbyes.”

Oh Abby, I don’t even know what to say except that my heart is with you. WTF is a precious thing. It can’t be easy finishing this project without Kayoon, but I’m glad you have people with you to support you in this project and in this life. Art transforms and art can heal, but there is no rush to do so.

Oh Abby I am just so so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through but I think that these photo series have been beautiful. I adore you sweet friend and my heart aches for you. This is a perfect tribute.

Thank you so much, Kayle. I’m so grateful to have you as a reader, you’re such a kind, caring soul and these words mean a lot. Sending you love.

Hey-hey! I’m Abby.

I live in Paris. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing but that's okay. This is the online journal I created at 14 (I'm now 21, fyi). Stick around if you feel like it. There are lots of pictures and shit. It'll be a fun time.