Every X-book considered and assembled into a slipshod time-line, September '63 to May '86.

Monday, 11 July 2011

UXM #38: "The Sinister Shadow Of... Doomsday!"

(Killing time before the massacre.)

Comments

This issue raises a fascinating question: if you have only one hour to locate a bomb that could be anywhere in Soviet territory, and which will bring about nuclear Armageddon, what would you do?

That's such an insurmountable brain-trouncer of a question that I can't begin to sensibly choose my response, especially since The Other Half lives almost three hours away.

What I'm reasonably sure I wouldn't do is head in the exact opposite direction of anywhere the bomb could possibly be (in my egg-shaped disc-shaped gravo-/magno-disk), in order to get to a place I'm certain will be annihilated by the resulting nuke-blizzard. And even that isn't so unforgivable as the fact that, with mere minutes remaining before the Earth becomes a worthless radioactive cinder, Scott still doesn't tell Jean how he feels. You might not be able to search the whole of the USSR in an hour, but you can definitely make a fairly thorough study of a teenage girls body. Er, as I dimly recall...

Ridiculously, the plan to mope around at home works. Sure, we know (or at least are given reason to believe) that someone is aiding the X-Men from behind the scenes, but they don't, so I don't see why I should give them credit for mooching around the place until something happens. Especially since what Cyclops claims to be waiting for is Mutant Master to tip his hand, which he'll do by launching ICBMs at Russia.

Speaking of which, surely even supervillains as cranially challenged as the Blob or Unus must realise that "ruling the Earth" is liable to be far less fun once the vast majority of the planet is radioactive wasteland. Are they really that desperate to be the only vertebrates left to challenge the giant mutant cockroaches? Only the Changeling seems even close to getting it:

The Master grows more intolerably arrogant with each passing minute! We mutants agreed to serve him out of hatred for normal humans -- because of their fear and hostility towards us!

Yet, have we merely exchanged our roles as outcasts -- for those of slaves?

That's the spirit, Clarence! Fight the power! You have nothing to lose but your retarded helmet!

But, we shall consider that later -- when the world of homo sapiens lies in smoldering, radioactive ruins!

Godammit, Clarence!

Those Soviet troops speak very good English, don't they? Maybe it's considered a point of pride in Russia to arrest people in their native language.

Clues

It's difficult to believe that the whole of this issue happens within the space of an hour, but there's no explicit suggestion anywhere that the Mutant Master has revised his schedule. We'll just have to assume that Factor Three's aircraft really can cross the Atlantic in the space of a few minutes. Their speed, lest we forget, is "mind-staggering".

Beast mentions that it's been "long weeks" since their search for Factor Three began, but that's entirely consistent with it being half a year or so since the X-Men first realised the danger.

There's also a five-page back-up strip in this issue, detailing how Professor Xavier first heard of Cyclops. The date is given only as being mid '60s, which means we're going to have to start ignoring specific dates, as originally planned.

Date

Sunday 6th of April, 1980.

X-Date

X+737.

Compression Constant

1 Marvel year = 2.07 standard years.

(Iceman is 39 years old.)

You mean we ran like rabbits
because of your itchin' toes?

Contemporary Events

Running out of ideas, now. Um, it was Easter Sunday, I guess.

Standout Line

"They shall not even live to see the atomic Armageddon which you see mirrored on our Predicto-Scope!" Man, I'd love to get me a Predicto-Scope. Though for all I know it's just a Magic 8 Ball with "Outlook Hazy" replaced with "Atomic Armageddon."