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How to Deal With Your Loss After a Molar Pregnancy

A molar pregnancy (hydatidiform mole) diagnosis can be devastating. One day you are expecting a baby, and the next you are told that there is an abnormal growth in your uterus. Whether it is partial (a fetus has formed) or complete (there is no fetus), a molar pregnancy is never viable.

Between the dilation and curettage (D&C), blood tests, and clinic visits, it can feel like this will never end. On top of that, you are told that you need to avoid getting pregnant again for 12 months. How are you supposed to deal with your loss after a molar pregnancy?

Allow yourself to grieve in your own way

Everyone grieves a loss in their own way, and at their own pace. One person finds herself numb, while another goes from crying to disbelief. It might take you a few days, or even a few weeks, to sink in. However you grieve your loss, as long as you are not hurting yourself or someone else, it is not wrong.

Take some time to yourself and do the things you enjoy

Once you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will need to start moving on. Take time to yourself, even if it means taking a day or a week off from work. Do whatever it is that makes you feel better. Some like to pamper themselves with bubble baths, massages, and manicures, while others simply curl up with a pillow and a good book. Get out and hike, garden, or do whatever you enjoy.

Talk to someone you trust — but only when you are ready

Only you can decide when you are ready to talk about what you have been through. Talking it out is good, but you don’t have to share with everyone who asks. This is a very personal, and even painful, time in your life. Share your feelings with a friend or close family member when you are ready.

Be there for your partner and allow him to express his feelings

In many cases, there is another person who is going through the loss of a baby. Your partner was also expecting a baby that will never arrive, and he might be going through a range of emotions, too. Make a point to ask your partner how he is feeling, and even if he doesn’t have much to say right now, listen and be there for him when he is ready.

Find ways to keep yourself busy over the next year

Think of ways to keep busy over the next year, whether it’s planning a trip or working on a long-term project. Then do them. Before you know it, the year will have gone by and hopefully you can start planning for another baby, if that is your wish.

Speak with your doctor about visiting a grief counselor

If you experience long periods of depression or suicidal thoughts, call your doctor. Ask about visiting a grief counselor so you can move on with your life.