One year ago today, at around 1 in the afternoon, we found out that you were on your way. And just for a second, while I was on the phone receiving the news from the nurse, time stood still. I cried tears of joy. Your dad did too. We had tried so hard and waited for so long for you. And finally, in that instant, you became ours.

From the moment we heard the news, you were loved so deeply. And a few months later, when we shared the news with your family, the amount of love surrounding you grew exponentially. You became our "Beastie." Our miracle. Our love. Immediately, and unconditionally.

When you arrived amid massive familial fanfare nine months later, you changed our world forever. And now, four months later, you're developing into a little person. You laugh at our funny faces. You smile several million times a day. And each time you do, you melt our hearts a little bit more than you did the time before.

I hope you always know how very much I love you. How much you were wanted. How much joy your arrival brought to your family. And that no matter what happens in your life, you will always, always have your mom and dad by your side.

I'll never forget the day I learned you were growing inside me. I'll never forget the joy I felt. The anticipation of what was to come. And yes, the fears I had as well.

You are my love. My sweet, precious daughter. And I am so lucky to be your mom.

12 Responses to “The Beastie Cometh”

Oh Kristi!!!! I felt such emotion reading this. I've come to care about your family and it seems like Ella has been with you for much longer than 4 months. Well, actually she was with you as soon as you got that wonderful news ayear ago! Every time I see a picture of Isabella I think how blessed you are to have her in you and your family's life. And she is just as lucky to have such a large, loving family---and fabulous parents. Big hugs on this wonderful day!

How great that when she needs a little extra support, she can turn to this blog to be reminded of how cherished she is. I hope, Isabella, that you read this and feel lifted by all the people who have been a part of your life remotely. Most importantly, I hope that you can see here in your mother's words how her love does not waiver, even if you feel like she's not loving you the way you need (goes hand in hand with teen angst and searching for your identity). This kind of love, this is exactly what you need.

It's so nice that you have a place to come to to write all of these wonderful thoughts down. And, that one day, Isabella will have a record of these thoughts. That is a very special gift!And, I adore her little outfit! How cute!

Quick Snapshot:

34-year-old writer andmother to a daughterborn in August 2006 followingIVF and girl/boy twins born in October 2008 following FET. Come along as I document the search for my lost intellect. It's a bumpy ride. Consider yourself warned.