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From time to time I post about things, however trivial, that I feel the need to vent about. Here’s one of those posts!

​There’s always that one coworker. I was walking across the office one afternoon, returning from my afternoon break and a male coworker (one who seems to pay attention to my every single move) looked at me and said “it can’t be that bad”. This immediately annoyed me because I already knew that he was referring to my facial expression, but I humored him anyway. I asked “what are you talking about?” He said “well you should smile more. It will make you feel better”. So, yea I had to school him on a few things. I pulled him aside and let him know 1. I am not here for your entertainment, so there are no smiles on demand (yes, this had to be said due to other comments that he’s made). 2. You’re assuming that I am upset/angry/sad based on a facial expression which is a terrible assumption to make. 3. If you’re truly concerned about how I am feeling, just ask if I’m ok. I know that, to some, this response may seem overboard, but this wasn’t his first time and this whole “you should smile more” “put a smile on your face” thing is a pet peeve of mine. Here are a few reasons why:

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You probably interrupted my daydreaming. I am the poster child for introversion. It takes nothing for me to get lost in my own thoughts. I am totally unaware of it but I’d bet that this comes with some interesting facial expressions on my part.

This is my natural disposition. It doesn’t mean that I’m not happy. Telling me to smile only makes things awkward.

The moment in which you witness me not smiling is only a slice of life, fleeting moment. Rest assured, I do have my ‘smiley’ moments.

By telling me to smile you are likely to get the exact opposite of a smile. Why? Because you just annoyed me.

If you really want me to smile. You should smile and, more than likely, I will smile in return.

A smile is not a good barometer of a person’s overall happiness. It’s ironic that comedians have some of the most tragic realities. It is true that many people smile despite their inner pain, struggles, etc.

Maybe I am having a bad day and I just don’t feel like smiling. It happens and it’s ok.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t show concern or care for a loved one when they seem to be feeling down, but what I am saying is that is so unnecessary for you to tell a complete stranger to change their facial expression. We have no need for self-appointed captains of the smile brigade. It’s irksome…it’s annoying. Just stop it because I'm truly ok!

What are some of your pet peeves? We all have our hang-ups and idiosyncracies. It's ok. Comment below!

Now you know I've been waiting on this one! I was shopping one day for unmentionables and some man walking with a woman I presumed was his wife, stopped and said, If you smile, I bet your shopping experience would go much better". I glared at him and he went on to catch up to the woman who had long walked away. Would you let me compare garments in peace!

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Antoinette

10/12/2016 06:24:51 pm

Lol! He deserved every bit of that glare. Everybody wants to be Dr. Phil.

I get this often as well. I have to tell them, it doesn't mean anything sometimes I'm just off into my thoughts. I don't take it personal though. I must say one time or another I've been guilty of this myself. Thanks for sharing!

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ANTOINETTE CAIN

10/12/2016 06:19:42 pm

Right, it could be just as simple as that. Thanks for commenting Daria.

I completely agree! Sometimes I just want to walk around in peace with no one trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I'd love to find a person who has a smile 100% of the time so they can give me their secret because it sure isn't me!

I cannot S T A N D that. I hate that as black women it happens to us at ridiculous rates. I'm good. I'm chillin. I have a lot on my mind. Leave me alone! lol If you really cared, you'd express it in other ways.

I think this is a universal pet peeve to women everywhere. A resting B face doesnt mean you are not happy. Shoot everyone doesnt come in the office chipper early in the morning. I would of told him off too because many men really think when a woman doesnt smile, especially at them, they have a 'tude. I never understood why men needed the assurance of a smile from a woman - is that part of an ego? We should want to smile at you?

I used to get that all the time. It was annoying. People would assume I was mean because I didn't walk around smiling.

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Antoinette C. is a blogger who delights in all things that foster unity and growth in women. After all, if the woman is happy and fulfilled, so is her family and community. Through Truly Charmed, Antoinette will introduce you to women who have inspired her, and who will, hopefully, do the same for you! Here's to your charmed life!