Friday, April 30, 2010

Judge: [Temporary Resident Permits] are given at the discretion of the Minister, who had already indicated that Mr Galloway wouldn't receive one.

CIC Lawyer: Yes, but he could have shown up at the border--

Judge: --and run the risk of indefinite detention. That's not much of an option, is it?

CIC Lawyer: I admit that these are not very palatable options, but--

"Run the risk of indefinite detention?" How exactly would that work? If you're declared inadmissible, then they don't let you in. So how could they refuse you entrance to Canada, and simultaneously take you into custody?

Amusingly, the same people who think this is howlingly funny and can't stop giggling over someone else's years of cruel imprisonment ... are the same ones for whom life is sometimes just terribly, terribly traumatic:

That would, of course, be Blogging Tory "Neo Conservative", taking a break from celebrating the regular beatings, stabbings and violent deaths of other peoples' children to whine piteously when his little sociopath gets a case of the sniffles.

I own a car. For the sake of argument, let's imagine that I don't take terrifically good care of it. Maybe I should wash it more often. Change the oil more frequently. Touch up those growing rust spots, that sort of thing. Sure, that would be nice, but in the end, it's my car -- I own it and, ultimately, I am the final voice of authority when it comes to what is to be done to it and with it. With me so far?

One day my car is stolen. I report it to the authorities and, in short order, they locate it and tell me where to come get it from the thief's property. I show up and, sure enough, an officer is there, as well as the thief, who is, oddly, working on my car in his driveway. OK, that's weird, I think, but I'm happy to be getting my wheels back. At which point, things get a bit strange.

I go up to the officer and the thief, fully expecting to reclaim my property, but the thief is telling the officer that, you know, I don't take proper care of my car and that's a shame. If it were him, things would be different. And the officer, bizarrely, is nodding his head in agreement. I demand my car back. The thief counters that, if he's allowed to keep it, it will get better care. What the fuck?

It's my car, I bellow to the officer. Mine. Yes, yes, he understands that and no one is disputing the ownership, but maybe, if the thief and I can work something out -- perhaps a compromise of some kind -- I can get the car most of the time, while he can have it on weekends in exchange for doing maintenance. While I stand there, stunned, the officer tells me that he'll give us a couple weeks to see if we can't come to some kind of arrangement, then walks away.

Are you starting to see why I think Speaker Peter Milliken is such a useless ass?

The resolution of my car issue is based on only one thing -- ownership. I own it, therefore, I can do with it what I will. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks they can do a better job, and that they will clean it, and polish it, and love it, and call it "George." Nobody gives a fuck about any of that. My car. Ownership trumps all. And now you see how badly Peter Milliken fucked up that recent ruling on the Afghan detainee documents.

All he had to do was rule on a point of privilege. That's it. That's all. No one wanted to know any more from him than that. No one wanted 45 minutes of patronizing, fatherly soliloquy. What they wanted was simply this definitive sentence:

"The Chair must conclude that it is within the powers of the House of Commons to ask for the documents sought in the December 10 order it adopted."

That's it. All Milliken needed was to say those words, and finish with, "OK, we're done here, thanks for coming." Finished. Rule for the Opposition, then check his watch to see if he could still make Happy Hour down at the Golden Corral. But, no, he couldn't shut the fuck up, and proceeded to, well, fuck things up by waffling all over the goddamned place:

Now, it seems to me, that the issue before us is this: is it possible to put into place a mechanism by which these documents could be made available to the House without compromising the security and confidentiality of the information they contain? In other words, is it possible for the two sides, working together in the best interest of the Canadians they serve, to devise a means where both their concerns are met?

Shut the hell up, Peter. No one asked you to pass judgment on who you thought might look after that information better, or who might treat it more deferentially, or who might stroke it, and love it, and call it "George." All you were asked to do, Peter, was rule on a point of privilege, then shut the fucking hell up. But, no, it was just too tempting to yammer on tediously about compromise and playing nice and who were the more responsible adults.

That's why Peter Milliken pooched this ruling so monstrously. He had the chance to keep it short and sweet and definitive. Instead, he told the Opposition that, well, sure it was their car, but let's see if we can't come to an amicable time-sharing arrangement with the guy who stole it. Dumb bastard. And given how stupidly waffly Milliken was, I will bet my left nad that it is exactly that waffling that will be the hook on which the Harpercrats will hang their inevitable argument that they won't be handing anything over. Because Milliken gave them an out.

You think I overreact? Who wants to take that bet? Who wants a piece of that action? I'll give you odds.

P.S. Check back in at most a week and a half to learn that I am, once again, absolutely right about absolutely everything all of the time. It's a curse.

The chief of Canada's defence staff says he's not opposed to the release of hundreds of pages of government documents related to Afghan detainee transfers.

"I'm very proud of what our men and women do. We're not perfect," Gen. Walter Natynczyk told CBC News on Thursday. "But when our men and women do the right things, we're proud. When they don't do the right things, we take action, as is happening with regard to various trials ongoing right now."

By way of response, Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor laughed off the suggestion that Natynczyk be taken seriously since Natynczyk was not really a Canadian, but was instead a murderous, indestructible cyborg sent back from the 23rd century to kill the future mother of John Conner. Or perhaps a card-carrying Liberal. Whatever outrages you more.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

(CNN) -- Tapped by the Republican party to deliver the GOP's response to President Barack Obama's congressional address Tuesday night, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal took on the massive stimulus package and big government -- and pledged that his party would regain the nation's trust...

Jindal has been a vocal critic of the stimulus package, highlighting what he considers waste at a White House meeting with governors on Monday and in his speech Tuesday. He noted $300 million to buy new government cars, $8 billion for high-speed rail projects and $140 million "for something called 'volcano monitoring.' "

"Instead of monitoring volcanoes, what Congress should be monitoring is the eruption of spending in Washington," Jindal said.

Jindal's declaration of a state of emergency paves the way for federal intervention and assistance, including additional booms from the U.S. Coast Guard that will help protect coasts and fisheries.

U.S. President Barack Obama said earlier his administration will use "every single available resource at our disposal" to deal with the spill. Obama said that could include using the military in the response.

In the comments section over at the CBC, we learn that Conservatives have a limited repertoire once you wind them up and place them on the floor:

"Adscam! Adscam, fer Chrissake!"Do you have any choc ices?""Of course not, all I've got is this bloody Adscam! It's a bloody scandal is what it is!""What flavour is it?""It's no bloody, bleedin', bloody flavour, is it? It's a bloody scandal! Adscam!""Does it come with wafers?""Wafers!?!? Of course it doesn't come with wafers, you stupid cocksucker, it's a scandal for God's sake! Adscam! Adscam, fer Chrissake! *Hork* *Spit*. Adscam!!"

You know, regardless of what you think of Speaker Peter Milliken's recent opinion that, no, Stephen Harper is not a king and can't have his own way whenever he wants, it was clearly an opinion of some import. It's no exaggeration to suggest that, depending on the way Milliken ruled, Canadian democracy could have been fundamentally changed forever. So it behooves us to wonder what Captain Canada and Blogging Tory co-founder Stephen Taylor thinks about this.

This was a major news event, it was about democracy and, as Stephen Taylor is fond of telling his blog readers as well as the chicks he likes to hit on in bars (who, weirdly, always turn out to be lesbians, darn the luck), he is:

... a scientist, political analyst and a blogger. Taylor writes here regularly and is the founder of bloggingtories.ca. Taylor has contributed to Macleans, CTV, talk radio and has been a featured speaker on new media at numerous events including the Western Standard Cruise and the Forum for Public Policy. In December 2008, Taylor organized Rally for Canada, a series of rallies held coast-to-coast to protest the proposed coalition government.

So with political chops like that, we would be remiss in not wondering what Taylor thinks about these recent developments; we want Taylor to share with us the thoughtful and nuanced political punditry that comes with so many years in the political arena. So we pull up a chair, and wait for the wisdom. And we get:

@a_picazo I hear that Peter Milliken is a card-carrying Liberal!

Ha ha, oh man, that is a kneeslapper! Hell, it's the kind of witty zinger I might try out if I was addressing, say, a sandbox full of 8-year-olds. Which, sadly, demonstrates the level of right-wing punditry in Canada these days, when the juvenile smear tactics of one of the country's allegedly best and brightest rising stars is utterly indistingushable from, oh, Blogging Tory "Hunter."

Because this is the current level of Canadian conservatism -- children. Badly-behaved, uneducated, offensive, snotty little turds, incapable of even the most fundamental of intellectual discourse. From Stephen Taylor on down, we have seen the "Hunterification" of right-wing political discourse. People unequipped to carry on a logical conversation or demonstrate the simplest level of critical thinking. Vacuous wastes of time, whose most intellectual contribution to recent and massively important events is nothing more than, "Blar-har-har, he must be a Liberal, ha ha!"

These are not people to be engaged intellectually. They are simply children. And they should be treated that way.

Detainee transfer documents buried in Canadian military shipping containers

OTTAWA — Records of Afghan detainee transfer orders showing whether Canadian military commanders took the risk of torture into account are buried in sea shipping containers and "may take years" to locate, the Military Police Complaints Commission was told Tuesday.

The revelation by Maj. Denis Gagnon emerged when he was closely questioned by lawyer Paul Champ, who said the commission is on the verge of deciding whether it has to suspend public hearings, partly because of missing and delayed documents from the Defence Department.

Gagnon said the documents are "all thrown together in a storage bin, a sea container" and an assessment of how long it would take to catalogue documents and identify the records requested by the commission may take years.

That growing laughter you hear is the rest of NATO pointing at Canada and peeing in their pants.

P.S. And the Taliban, too. I'm betting they're howling so hard, they just ruptured something.

The only people who should get this information are those who have qualified for a Level III or TSSA (Top Secret Special Access) security clearance. The only one on the committee that fits that requirement is probably Laurie Hawn due to his previous life as a Senior Officer in the CF. National Security is not a toy. Incredible, and irreparable damage can be done to a Nation, its Security Forces, and Individuals if Highly CLASSIFIED information is not properly safeguarded. I do not trust non-trained elected members (particularly non-Govt ones to “Get It” when it comes to material like this.

Blogging Tory "Phantom Observer" wants your opinion on which members of the Opposition will be total disasters in terms of national security. Your vote need not be based on anything as mundane as history or empirical evidence -- letting your imagination run wild and hypothesizing whatever makes you feel good will work just fine.

This scientific poll regarding politicians that don't have a fucking clue about what "security" means is brought to you by a diehard fan of the political party that gave us him and her but would still like to pompously lecture others on the importance of keeping their mouths shut and their classified documents close at hand.

P.S. You seriously need to read the comments at that first link. The shrieky outrage is quite something to behold.

Apparently, the Afghan detainee issue is a "peripheral, unimportant issue" over which the Conservatives should still be prepared to destroy our country. So spake one Adrian MacNair.

Then there's the perpetually senile Sandy Crux, who is still soiling her Grandma-sized Depends as we speak.

Earplugs might be the order of the day.

P.S. Canada's Blogging Tories would like to lecture you on how there's no way you can trust the Opposition to maintain national security secrets. Yes, dears, why don't you chide us on the importance of confidential documents?

Monday, April 26, 2010

New Jersey's press shield law applies to online news reporters but not to bloggers merely claiming to be journalists, a state appeals court ruled on Thursday.

"Simply put, new media should not be confused with news media," the judges said in Too Much Media v. Hale, A-0964-09, the first N.J. appellate ruling and only the second in any state to address whether bloggers can invoke the newspersons' privilege to protect the identity of their sources.

The blogger's sources were not protected because she "exhibited none of the recognized qualities or characteristics traditionally associated with the news process, nor has she demonstrated an established connection or affiliation with any news entity," the court said.

We here at CC HQ eagerly await similar developments this side of the border, where people who write for the National Post aren't the only ones not considered real journalists.

The fact that this much time has passed since Peter Milliken was asked to rule on the Afghan detainee documents means he is already as appallingly useless as that worthless hack Michaelle Jean. That decision should have been an eight-second no-brainer. I don't see this ending well.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hard to believe six years have passed since Matt Osborne left us behind. Matt was a truly inspired and inspiring artist and our community and the world are poorer for his departure. Ron and I wrote this song in an afternoon shortly after we got the news, Ron had produced some of Matt's earlier work and I had shared a number of pub gigs with Matt. When we recorded this track we were blessed to be joined by our friend Arun Pal. Arun is a hell of a talent in his own right and had played drums in Matt's band. Arun agreed to do the drums on this tune and laid in the keyboard tracks as well. Thinking of you tonight as the wind blows...

This song can be downloaded for free at my Bandcamp site. There are some other free tunes there as well and if you decide to purchase the full album of 13 songs you'll get 4 bonus tracks for free as well. Peace.

I've been pluggging away at the edit from the live taping of Judecast and this is a little trailer I put together. We'll be doing the second live event on June 24 at the Bread & Circus in Toronto's Kensington Market. I'll be posting the occasional reminders and announcements as things unfold. Let me just say that there are some very cool things coming up! Stay tuned... oh and double click the video if you want to see the whole image as our template isn't wide screen friendly here at the 4:3 viewing aspect ratio saloon.

... But I guess I should give credit where it's due. Or rather, let Peter Foster do it for me, in the Post: Flaherty wins one for the world:

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty seems to have killed the IMF’s threatened global bank tax, at least for the moment. Good for him. Also, kudos to the Big Six Canadian Banks for being bold enough to criticize other regulatory horrors being discussed at this weekend’s G20 meetings in Washington.

Mr. Flaherty had spoken out strongly against a global levy to create a bailout fund. “I’m not going to impose a tax on our banks that performed well during the financial crisis,” he said earlier this week. “It seems to me a very odd thing to do — to punish our banks that got the job done adequately.”

And, ironically, here's your humble scribe, who understands the concept of bestowing credit upon those who actually deserve it. See the difference?

I continue to patiently await the day when Mr. Morrow's critical thinking ability catches up with his obvious talent for wordsmithing. When that happens, he will be a fearsome and respected pundit indeed. Until then, eh, not so much.

Yes, I'm sure you've been following along at home but, really, it's so worth pointing out that the National Post, after having published Jonathan Kay's Antonia Zerbisias-related, misinformed, libelous piece of shit, then allowing Kay (or his mom, whoever was the bigger whiner) to delete the entirety of the comments and pretend they never happened because he was getting spanked savagely in them, has apparently been rejecting the "Full Comment" submissions of Dr. Dawg because they were "too insulting."

At this point, if the occasion arises, one should no longer intellectually engage Mr. Kay. One should simply spit on him and walk away. And use only your backup spit. He's not worth the good stuff.AFTERSNARK: If there is any fairness to the universe, Jonathan Kay's legacy will look something like this:Corner Gas Spits

I look forward to the day when Kay is cut off from his mommy-driven wingnut welfare and is finally forced to find employment that matches his intellectual accomplishments. And yes, Jonathan, I would like that super-sized, thanks very much.

It's disappointing that EKOS pollster Frank Graves would have publicly said something like this:

... in an interview today with The Globe and Mail to explain his apology, Mr. Graves went on to say that polling data shows the Conservative Party “does seem to provide a haven” for people with xenophobic or homophobic views.

What an asinine thing to suggest. How Graves could have overlooked the Stephen Harper Party of Canada as being a haven for truly stupid people and scientific illiterates as well is something I will never forgive him for.

Phoenix, AZ – Arizona Hispanic Republicans believe that it is unfortunate for Jan Brewer to support Pearce’s bill. The greatest leaders in our nation had courage, and we believe that Brewer made her decision in an effort to save her political career. Jan Brewer’s decision will mark today as the day in which Hispanic Americans will follow the footsteps of the Great Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. Pearce and Brewer do not see the unintended consequences of their actions, and it appears that they were willing to make decisions that affect us at the cost of trampling on our Constitutional Rights ... blah blah blah much clueless bitching and whining ...

But here's the bestest part of all, further down:

That said, and even though we are taking a stance against Jan Brewer and Russell Pearce’s law, we are ultimately holding President Obama accountable. Obama promised Hispanics that he would pass immigration reform within 90 days of his Presidency. Had Obama carried out his promises to Hispanics last year, the Hispanic community would not be experiencing the crisis we are experiencing right now.

Good thinking, awesomely stupid Arizona Hispanic Republicans. It's not like Obama has been stymied, delayed and obstructed by an intransigent Republican Congress at every step of every single thing he's ever tried.

Here's a thought, awesomely stupid Arizona Hispanic Republicans: If you're too stupid to understand what kind of bad craziness you were setting yourselves up for by getting in bed with pathologically racist Republicans, please pack up your shit and leave. Sane, intelligent people are not going to miss you.

TIMELY COMEDY: How Obama should respond to Arizona Hispanic Republicans who come begging for federal intervention:

Yeah, pretty much like that.

TWEET! Some related silliness on Twitter:

allen_osuno @matttbastard I hope latinos remember which party did this crap in AZ and refuse to provide ANY latino votes for the GOP in contested races

JOURNALISM OF OPINION...Columnists are given wide latitude to express controversial opinions but, when they present what purports to be a statement of fact, they should ensure that it is accurate and, when necessary, provide the source of the information. If the statement is found to be in error, the newspaper should be prepared to promptly publish a correction or clarification.

I have read that OPC page carefully and, as far as I can tell, when an opinion columnist is shown to be in error, while there may be a number of acceptable responses, pissing one's pants, then running crying to one's editor or one's mother to make all those big, bad commenters go away does not appear to be one of them.

Perhaps I just missed that option.

P.S. To re-iterate what Ti-Guy posted here recently: Please, National Post, for the love of God, just crawl off somewhere and die already.

The other night I had the pleasure of a trans-dimensional chat with the mighty Reverend Paperboy when he called me up from the future. Or Tokyo. Whichever comes first. We had some laughs, talked some smack and now you can check it out on his new site, the Maple Syrup Revolution. I'm looking forward to hearing more from his interweb channel!

For an embarrassingly-uneducated pack of screeching wanks who love dredging up the past, Canada's conservatives have some curious blind spots when it comes to history. Here's Slippery Jim Flaherty, waxing creamy over Canada's financial power:

Dear Mr. Salembier,...Canadian banks are international success stories. As the most international among them, we recognize that success in international markets is not unrelated to the strength of Canada's financial sector policy. The reputation of Canadian banks as safe, strong and sound financial institutions is an important factor when entering new markets. That reputation is, in large part, due to the strength and foresight of government policy and supervision.

Sorry, what was that last part again?

That reputation is, in large part, due to the strength and foresight of government policy and supervision.

Why, yes ... the foresight of Liberal governments. And the day a single Canadian conservative gives credit where it's properly due is the day I eat my shorts. And I'm fairly confident that's not going to happen.

The Opposition and the MSM are picking on Helena Guergis simply because they hate women. Parliament is giving Rahim Jaffer such a hard time simply because it doesn't like coloureds. Immigration Minister Jason Kenney just refused visas for eight Gambian medical staff because ... well, it's complicated.

Oh, look ... this is the kind of health care Canada's drooling, right-wing dingbats would love to foist on the rest of us:

WellPoint routinely targets breast cancer patients

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Shortly after they were diagnosed with breast cancer, each of the women learned that her health insurance had been canceled. There was Yenny Hsu, who lived and worked in Los Angeles. And there was Patricia Reilling, a successful art gallery owner and interior designer from Louisville, Kentucky.

Neither of these women knew about the other. But besides their similar narratives, they had something else in common: Their health insurance carriers were subsidiaries of WellPoint, which has 33.7 million policyholders -- more than any other health insurance company in the United States.

The women paid their premiums on time. Before they fell ill, neither had any problems with their insurance. Initially, they believed their policies had been canceled by mistake.

They had no idea that WellPoint was using a computer algorithm that automatically targeted them and every other policyholder recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The software triggered an immediate fraud investigation, as the company searched for some pretext to drop their policies, according to government regulators and investigators.

Once the women were singled out, they say, the insurer then canceled their policies based on either erroneous or flimsy information. WellPoint declined to comment on the women's specific cases without a signed waiver from them, citing privacy laws.

By way of rebuttal, Canada's conservatives said something hideously stupid and off-topic, probably involving the word "leftard."

OTTAWA—The director of a solar power company says he had no idea the firm co-founded by ex-MP Rahim Jaffer tried to get federal money for one of its projects from a billion-dollar green infrastructure fund.

“I was as shocked as anybody this morning when I . . . found out that our company was listed on what was being described as a proposal,” said former Liberal MP Joe Louis Jordan, who is a director of a company run by his brother, Michael Jordan, called Upper Canada Solar Generation Ltd.

The Star obtained summaries of three proposals for projects worth a total of $850 million that Green Power Generation Corp. – co-founded by Jaffer and his business partner Patrick Glémaud – submitted to Conservative MP Brian Jean, the parliamentary secretary to Transport Minister John Baird.

The proposals sought federal money from the $1-billion Green Infrastructure Fund for three alternative energy projects – a 10-megawatt solar power generating facility, panels on highways and bridges and an environmentally friendly waste disposal solution – that were ultimately rejected.

One of the proposals involves a request for $15 million from the federal government for the first phase of a solar power generating facility in Brockville, Ont., and listed the project stakeholders as Upper Canada Solar Generation Ltd. and Canadian Solar Inc. based in Kitchener, Ont.

Both companies say they did not give Green Power Generation permission to lobby the federal government on their behalf...

Alex Taylor, director of investor relations and special projects for Canadian Solar Inc. denied any lobbying relationship with Green Power Generation.

“My understanding is that Green Power is either a project being proposed by Rahim Jaffer and Patrick Glemaud or a company owned by them, or both,” he said in an email from China.

“We have not authorized either of these gentlemen to act on our behalf or to represent us either in a capacity as lobbyists or in any other matter.”

If you're a legitimate businessman who suddenly feels an overpowering urge to push Rahim Jaffer under a bus, the line starts over there on the left.

In a fit of grotesque cowardice, the spineless Dalton McGuinty has taken the supine posture, presented his wet, pink belly and given in to the ignorant and the superstitious. It appears that Charles McVety, that bulbous mongrel, has tendrils running into Queens Park as well as directly into the orifices of the Conservatives in Ottawa. Faced with open defiance from the Holy Roman Diddlers and the typical clouds of methane from McVety, the evangelically brain damaged and Muslim groups, our premier has decided to cede the day to the representatives of the 12th century. Typical of the modern politician, McGuinty has placed his own short term interests ahead of the health, welfare and education of the province's children.

The Ontario government is shelving a controversial new sex education curriculum that it had planned to roll out next fall.Premier Dalton McGuinty moved swiftly on Thursday to nip in the bud a mounting problem for his government, one that was pitting it against Christians, Muslims.“It’s become pretty obvious to us we should give this a serious rethink,” Mr. McGuinty said.

Actually Dalton you squealing whelp, it is rather more obvious that you've tucked tail and prefer to whine in a puddle of your own making rather than face down a scheming little prat. You allowed a person whose operations deserve a thorough forensic auditing and the various charges that might result to tap you on the nose with a rolled newspaper. It has become pretty obvious that this province deserves leadership that it will not receive from the Ontario Liberals or the Progressive Conservatives. It is the voting public that should be rethinking your job security McGuinty you tremulous wimp.

The changes were part of a regular review of Ontario’s physical education and health curriculum, which hasn’t been updated since 1998. They went nearly unnoticed until a Christian group, led by evangelist Charles McVety, threatened to pull its children from school.

In all sincerity, if these cretins and their followers want their own children to wallow in ignorance then by all means pull them from the school system and good luck to those poor kids. Let's have an end to public funds flowing into the coffers of corrupt organizations like the Catholic church. Failing that, how about we elect some politicians that remember we are a secular nation and that the standards that the duly elected government establishes are not subject to the approval of any religious group. Period. Let's have the Catholics and McVety investigated and stripped of tax free status. Let's have the political machinations of these dirtbags exposed to the light of day. Let's not fall victim to the shari'ah of any group or faith, Christian, Muslim, Evangelical or whatever.

Two businessmen who heard Rahim Jaffer speak last August at a Toronto-area restaurant believed the former MP would be their connection to millions of dollars in government grants.

The men, who spoke to the CBC on condition of anonymity, said they were lured to the Aug. 25 meeting by an email that boasted: "Rahim Jaffer, who is the Canadian government money access point for us, will be in attendance."

"We left with the impression Jaffer was the source of funding," said the president of one company who pitched to Jaffer and his business colleague Nazim Gillani, the author of the email and the organizer of the meeting.

The vice-president of another firm at the meeting in the La Castile restaurant in Mississauga, Ont., said Jaffer spoke about his background as an MP and the federal government's $1-billion green infrastructure fund, saying "this fund is fully available to him" at extremely low interest rates.

Oh, wait ... I think I just creamed myself:

The two businessmen say they were presented with Jaffer's business card, which indicated he was an MP, and his address was Centre Block at the House of Commons. Jaffer had lost his seat a year earlier.

Yeah, I'm thinking my current erection is going to last longer than four hours.

CanWest's bankers have put a priority on getting their money back fast, so any bid financed by debt has a lower chance – and the publisher of the Toronto Star has a wealthy backer

Final offers to buy CanWest's newspapers are starting to filter in, but in a twist, the highest bidder won't necessarily walk away owning Canada's largest chain of dailies. Instead, cash will be king.

The 46 newspapers are being sold off by creditors that include the country's major banks, which are looking to recoup $950-million owed to them by financially strapped CanWest Global Communications Corp.

As they enter the final stage of the sale, the banks are hunting for cash – even if it means passing on offers that are higher on paper but involve the banks not getting all their money right away, or staying on as creditors.

Sources indicate a bid that includes newspaper owner Torstar Corp. is now emerging as a favourite, since it is expected to involve more cash than other offers.

And if Star owner Torstar is successful and some of the current crop of yobs from the Post are kept on, they would finally learn what an "editor" does. And it will be a painful learning experience for the lot of them.

MP Tom Lukiwski said Jaffer owed the committee an explanation for why the Green Power Generation website states he helps companies "secure support from the Canadian government" — something Jaffer quickly denied, only to have hard copies of the website text presented in front of him by Liberal members of the committee.

... Craig Smith and the rest of the drooling yobs over at "Canadian Conservatives" stop screeching about the evils of socialism just long enough to lament the passing of their forum because no one will pick up the tab and let them yammer on for free at someone else's expense:

In any event, here's the latest submission, recently arrived in the CC HQ mailbox: one Andrew Saxton of North Vancouver, with more submissions already in the inbox and others on the way. Don't be left out -- pick your favourite Conservative MP and give them the public spanking they so richly deserve. Operators are standing by.

That your published URL doesn't match the current post title is generally an indication of an actual adult coming over, checking your submitted work and fuming, "Oh, for Christ's sake, Jonathan, what are you, five? Grow the fuck up, already! Jesus, the things I do to keep that screech harpy of a mother of yours happy."

Shorter Catholic school system: "The new sex education curriculum is utterly and wholly inappropriate. The gentle introduction to the joy of sex should remain a private matter between a priest and his altar boys."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Okay. There are times when the jokes are just so obvious, they leap off the page like salmon heading up river to spawn.

Two prominent Ottawa Catholic leaders — including Archbishop Terrence Prendergast — spoke out Wednesday on the province’s new sex-ed curriculum, pointing to what appears to be an emerging rift between the government and its publicly funded Catholic schools.

The world's largest paedophile club and spa is apparently content with their own sex education curriculum. Courses like How High the Cassock Father 101 and Advanced Plunder the Boy Soprano. But you. You're all deviants, whores and disordered if you employ contraception, masturbate, have lustful thoughts, love those of your own gender, dare to have intimate contact without a contract etc. Have another sacred cookie you fucking hypocrites, enablers and crooks.

A senior Ottawa Catholic board official says her schools will not adhere to the new curriculum, contrary to Premier Dalton McGuinty’s contention earlier in the day that the program applied to “all students in publicly funded schools, including Catholic schools.”

Perhaps a senior Ottawa Catholic board official should start cashing her cheques without a contribution from the public purse.

“Mr. McGuinty seems to be misinformed here,” said Jan Bentham, co-ordinator of religious and family life education for the Ottawa Catholic School Board. “The ministry consulted with ICE (the Institute for Catholic Education) and they were very aware there would be some content we would not be delivering in Catholic schools.”

Well it is high time that the Ontario Ministry of Education made the Catholic school boards of this province aware that they can teach their medieval gibberish without the funding of the taxpayer.

The most obvious element rejected by Catholic schools will be a third-grade lesson on “visible and invisible differences” that features discussion of homosexuality.

Homosexuality won’t be raised in Catholic schools until grade 8, according to Bentham, when it will be covered “from a faith perspective,” she said. Catholic teaching considers homosexual acts to be “disordered.”

Won't be raised? What grade does the church plan to cover the current topic of child sexual abuse, they are the experts in the field. Sorry Popeaholics, but with the deeply entrenched and ever unfolding tales of sexual deviance and violence against children that have come to characterize the church, you do not have the moral authority to label anyone disordered. You do not get to take the public's money and condescend to inflict your small minded, superstitious bigotry upon the student body. If your parishioners want their children taught ignorance and intolerance then those families should foot the damn bill for it. You evil fucks have gotten away with murder for far too long. You can pretend to piety all you like but imposing your blindness and stupidity on youth is just another form of child abuse. Cut the funding for Catholic schools now, redirect that funding to the public school system and be done with it.

I doubt this will register as epic news outside of Toronto. But it has just come to my attention that Antonia Zerbisias is no longer writing a column for the Toronto Star. Her March 31 effort -- a not untypical Zerb rant against the evils of Canadian foreign policy -- informed readers that "This will be my last column for The Star's Living section. Thanks for reading, and for writing. Stay tuned for news of my next assignment for The Star." (Her subsequent piece, published in April, describe her as a "Feature Writer.")

Jonathan blithers on for a while longer, barely able to conceal his seething jealousy of someone with actual talent, then drops this steaming turd on the dining room carpet:

It's not just that Canada has become a more conservative country over the past few years -- which it has. It's the discipline imposed by the blogosphere (including blogs run by this and other newspapers), which immediately point out and mock hysterical, or incorrect information contained in other media.

Yes, Jonathan ... like when a national newspaper prints a bogus story of Iran forcing Jews to wear badges, and those of us in the Left-o-sphere have to correct the record, while those in the Dumbshit-o-sphere shriek with outrage and swallow that fairy tale in one gulp. You mean like that, Jonathan? Yeah, I know what you mean.AFTERSNARK: Jonathan gets a public spanking from one "Shelglen":

It is great that the National Post exists - although in semi-bankruptcy (funny, that!). It provides a place for hard-right pseudo-columnists to write their usual uninformed & nasty verbiage, & to have other knuckle-draggers cheer them on. It's a nice little club for the intellectual & morally deprived.

Thank you, Jonathon, for the nice list of all your Con journos, just to give people a very clear direction of who NOT to read. No one with an actual functional brain reads those people. Maggie Wente at the Star is "the most popular columnist there"? Upon what fantasy do you base this dreck?

As for Ms. Zerbisias, it happens that she did not "lose" her column, but went over to features because so many women want to read an actual representative intelligent female writer on broader topics, which the Star management agreed to.

You should be so lucky, Jon, as to have even one-tenth the writing & journalistic abilities, than Zerbisias has. You aren't even interesting.

To which Jonathan digs deep intellectually and snaps back:

Hi Antonia ... I mean "Shelglen"

Now that is some witty shit, Jonathan. I remember when I used to have zippy retorts like that. When I was five.

The National Post: Canada's journalistic equivalent of "Everybody Gets a Trophy" Day.

The recent spate of Stephen Harper Party of Canada-related madness involving inept, incompetent, corrupt and/or pathologically deranged Conservative members of Parliament suggests that there's a market for an online source for Con Party biographies -- a one-stop shop where you can get your fill of Conservative idiocy describing the loons, dingbats and drooling yobs that currently make up Her Majesty's governing party.

Yes, it's empty right now, but imagine the possibilities as one can zip over there to learn of, say, the violent, Michael Ignatieff-beating fantasies of Saskatchewan MP Garry Breitkreuz, the anger management issues (and more) of Helena Guergis, Federal Minister of Science and Technology Gary Goodyear who doesn't believe in biological evolution, the jaw-dropping ignorance of Shelly Glover who -- during a television interview -- admitted she had no idea who Tom Flanagan was ... and the list surely goes on, does it not?

Now, there's no way I'm going to have time to do that myself, so I'm opening up the floor for submissions. Feel free to slap together a bio of your favourite shrieking Conservative whackjob, replete with links. Or, hey, ask to be an administrator for that site and I'll give you the keys and you can go wild. The only rule is that everything posted there must be accurate and substantiated. And, of course, as embarrassing as hell.

So ... is this going to be more fun than a barrel of beatings or what?

P.S. OK, so I've filled in a couple a bunch of entries already. Try to keep up.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Now I'm certainly not a big fan of Ignatieff but even as a curmudgeonly blogger I have never thought for a moment that he should end up black and blue for holding opinions that I don't support. Perhaps if I were a Conservative Member of Parliament I might hold more violent fantasies. Apparently Garry Breitkreuz, a fanatical gun nut, has decided that Ignatieff's determination to whip his party's vote against abolishing the long gun registry is worthy of a beating. Perhaps it is just that sort of violent tendency that makes a gun registry so important. When less stable members of the population, like Garry Breitkreuz, start wishing violence on others it might be good to know whether he is armed and to what extent.

This whack job insinuates that the Police Chiefs of this nation are on the take and acting in a cult-like manner. Check out this page from the honourable member's site, obsessed much, gun cultist? More than 100 articles feeding the frothing madness of this loon. Any opposition to his unfettered gun craze and you are the devil incarnate, crooked or in need of violent intervention.

Here is the nutter's news release wherein he raves about crooked police chiefs and a load of other nonsense. And here are a few choice quotes:

Pro-registry groups such as the Coalition for Gun Control and the Canadian Association of Chiefs of Police (CACP) are politically-motivated lobby groups that derive financial support from pro-registry sources.“Their positions are tainted and suspect in my view, because their endorsement can be bought,” says Breitkreuz.

“His attempt to force members of his caucus to vote against the bill is politically transparent. Imagine demanding eight members of your caucus to suddenly abandon the wishes of their constituents. This leader is a bully who may well be committing political suicide. With tactics like this, I doubt he’ll be missed on either side of the House.”

It’s an act of desperation that insults the intellect of Canadians. His true colours are showing, and if his caucus has any integrity, those colours should be black and blue.

Imagine Mr Breitkreuz, a political party that enforces caucus discipline. I certainly hope that Stephen Harper takes this boob aside and reads him the riot act. The Conservative Party, for better and mostly worst, occupy the government side of the house. It is more than unseemly to have one of these cracked fools going off like this. It diminishes the dignity of the position and the trust placed in an elected member. And it might behoove the constabulary to keep an eye on this sort of individual. His penchant for firepower and obviously short fuse make him a potential risk to public safety and a good candidate for proving the value of the registry.

We register cars, marriages and all manner of services, contracts and licences. Evidently deadly weapons should be exempt from this standard social practice to keep violent, right wing extremists within the government from lashing out. This is our government, salted through with some true winners.

All this targeted activity by the smear machine is designed to scare Marc Lemire off from testifying. Their secondary purpose is to poison the jury pool and damage a witness's credibility before an upcoming trial. Their third objective is to try to tarnish Connie and I and pre-emptively prejudice potential jurors against us.

So, if I read this correctly, people who have spent their lives carefully constructing their public rep as screeching neo-Nazi sympathizers and white supremacists would now like you to, you know, not mention that because it doesn't play all that well in court? Is that about right?

Wow. Talk about "You might have thought of that sooner" coming back to bite you in the ass.

Any government that grants that little sh*t dime one deserves to be overthrown by any means necessary.

Arnie isn't specifically advocating firearms-related dissension, but he'd like you to know that the phrase "any means necessary" really gives one a lot of latitude. If you catch my drift.

BONUS TRACK: Blogging Tory "Natasha" is a big fan of settling issues like this with one well-aimed bullet. On the other hand, we on the Left are incredibly uncivil because we sometimes use naughty words. Apparently, that's worse.

Shorter Blogging Tory "Iceman": "It's clear that these attacks on Conservative women have nothing to do with their appalling incompetence and dishonesty or their being simply horrible human beings; it's all just misogyny. You know, like how we Blogging Tories attack Barack Obama relentlessly, not because of his politics or policies, but just because we all hate niggers."

As is his unfortunate custom, self-styled citizen journalist Adrianael MacAlexanderNair does to journalistic accuracy what a hillbilly once did to Ned Beatty, as Blogging Tories are wont to do:

The President of the University of Ottawa, Allan Rock, has broken his silence on what he thinks about the cancelled Ann Coulter speaking engagement on March 23. The visit is said to have been cancelled by Ms.Coulter’s organizers when angry student protesters showed up to block her from speaking and there were some concerns for her safety.

As has already been established, it is "said" that Coulter's speech was cancelled by her own organizers because it was, in fact, cancelled by her own organizers, due to their howling incompetence at managing simple registration. And the threat of protestor violence is a complete myth, a fact understood by even the drooling, evolutionary mistakes at Kate McMillan's Delisle Tattoo Parlour and White Sheet Emporium.

The incident made a mockery of the free speech debate, and fans of Ann Coulter were angry that the engagement had to be cancelled, blaming an incendiary email from University Provost Francois Houle. Mr.Houle had welcomed the American Conservative in a letter also sent to media organizations, while at the same time warning her that Canada has strict laws on hate speech and that she could face criminal prosecution if she violated those laws.

In a letter "sent to media organizations?" Really? Then why did the Canadian Press report thusly?

Coulter, who was to speak at the University of Western Ontario on Monday night, received a pre-emptive and private caution about the limits of free speech in Canada from the provost of the University of Ottawa, where she appears Tuesday.

The letter was immediately leaked to select conservative news organizations, with Coulter telling one that the university was "threatening to criminally prosecute me for my speech."

So, Adrian, either the letter was meant for public consumption in the first place ... or it wasn't, so you can quit your pathetic bitching, moaning and whining. Because it's somewhat inconsistent for someone to explicitly and deliberately leak private information to the media, then subsequently whine about the inevitable consequences of that information being public.

I will understand, though, Adrian, if you have trouble following that logic. It does require processing two pieces of information at the same time and, as we've established, this is not something at which Blogging Tories are particularly adept.

P.S. You can expect a sheepish correction and retraction from Adrian about the same time you can expect it from every other Blogging Tory who's ever published something stupid, incorrect and libelous -- the day Satan starts ice-skating to work.

AFTERSNARK: I would be remiss in not pointing out Adrian's perpetual misrepresentation of reality, when he writes above:

The incident made a mockery of the free speech debate, and fans of Ann Coulter were angry that the engagement had to be cancelled, blaming an incendiary email from University Provost Francois Houle.

Once again, let us be clear that Coulter's Ottawa gig was not cancelled for any other reason than that organizers Ezra Levant, Kathy Shaidle and others were appallingly stupid and incompetent, and should never be trusted to use anything more complicated than a toilet brush ever again.

Still, [Coulter] insisted, she was serious about her promise to see University of Ottawa provost François Houle — whose name, sounding like “hole,” she had great fun modifying — charged by Canada’s Human Rights Commissions, for promoting hatred against her, a white, Christian, female, conservative, since she’s certain no left-wing speakers have been similarly threatened.

“All I thought about” after the cancellation, Ms. Coulter says, “was how much this helps my complaint with the human rights commission.”

It will be amusing to see how well that action holds up when Coulter tries to explain how a private communication exposed her sorry, racist, eliminationist ass to public ridicule and hatred.

Please, Ezra, make this happen. The entertainment value would be awesome.

I particularly like commenter "Edward Kennedy"Gerry T. Neal referring specifically to Dr. Dawg and BCL by their full names. You know ... sorta like, "Nice identity you got there -- be a shame if anything happened to it." Or perhaps, "We know who you are. Just sayin'."

I'm thinking that if anything suspicious happens to either BCL or Dr. Dawg, we'll have a pretty good idea where to start looking.

Delayed only momentarily by the need to change into some dry panties and have a quick smoke, Blogging Tory "JoJo" pens a gushing paean to regular guy Stephen the Corpulent:

Stephen Harper of the ‘Regular Canadians’ class

While Michael Ignatieff describes himself as a member of the elite “Political Class”, Canada’s Prime Minister continues to prove that he’s just plain folks.

Yesterday Stephen Harper dropped by the K-W area to watch his son Ben play in a volleyball championship tournament:

“This is just a dad here watching his son play volleyball,” said Harper’s spokesperson, Andrew MacDougall. “We’re just trying to keep this quiet.”

Harper's behaviour differs drastically, of course, from what we can only imagine would have happened if it had been Michael Ignatieff, who would undoubtedly have waited until midway through the third game, then uttered a blood-curdling shriek and launched himself onto the court where he would have ripped out and feasted on the still-beating heart of a 12-year-old blonde cheerleader while howling the praise of the Dark One, Cthulhu. Because that's just what Liberals do.

Following the volleyball game, regular guy Stephen Harper was quickly chauffeured back to the airport, where he caught a private government jet back to Ottawa just in time to perform another piano recital with the backing of the Ottawa Symphony Orchestra. Because that's just what regular guys do. According to his personal spokesperson.

Well Toronto Mayor David Miller is desperate too. He is addressing the public using the public address system on TTC Subway platforms too urge the Ontario Gov't. to not cut funding too Transit City...

I thought it was unethical for him to criticize somebody, even if it is other politicians, in public. Because Mayor Miller is only thinking of himself, and his legacy. And is doing it at someone else's expense. It's the Ontario Gov't. that is using taxpayer's money for public transit. Miller's taking the credit, and using it for his legacy.

Fuckin' A! Using public funds to pimp and preen. What kind of useless, unethical douchebag pulls that kind of shit? Oh ...

Tory aide tried to suppress $5-million Olympic ad bill

A senior Conservative official repeatedly intervened last month to try and suppress the revelation that Ottawa spent $5-million on a TV advertising blitz surrounding the Vancouver Olympics, new records show.

In a tense exchange of e-mails over a two-day period, ministerial aide Ryan Sparrow blocked attempts by bureaucrats to reveal the price tag of the ads that aimed to promote Conservative budgetary measures.