January 2019

Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) has been criticized for being rude and disrespectful for a video where she says “impeach the motherf*cker” in reference to the President “I should have chosen my words more carefully.” Tlaib accepts…

Dining out at a restaurant yesterday, a buoyant Hillary Clinton confused a busboy who asked the two-time Presidential hopeful if she wanted more ice water. “So you think I’m still the best person to defeat…

The arctic chill is coming and it’s as real as store-bought pierogies are bad. Make sure you’re prepared by following Breaking Burgh’s top tips for surviving a polar vortex. Don’t buy milk, bread or toilet…

Scientists are hailing the discovery of a new element, which happened when a Yankee Candle customer who had no idea what they were doing attempted to make a terrible smelling candle. “The customer insisted on…

The Federal Bureau of Prisons has announced it is constructing a new facility near Washington, DC, to house all the associates of the President expected to soon be in their care. “The current system can…

With temperatures set to plunge dramatically midweek, local forecasters are issuing their recommendations for how to deal with the seriously cold weather. “Leave Pittsburgh right now or prepare for death.” Even the President didn’t escape…

In a dramatic about turn, the Government of Mexico has agreed to reimburse the United States in full for the money President Trump will spend building his wall. “When your President originally said we should…

As Americans listen to news of yet another mass shooting, a pattern is emerging that is very disturbing. “It seems these pesky Muslims are getting even better at impersonating white male Christians.” Law enforcement’s job…

A geologist working in the United States has discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest cave, surpassing even Hang Son Doong, previously the world’s largest caves located in Vietnam. “I wasn’t doing my…

As temperatures plunge again with more precipitation on the way, City Government has finally taken the step that many have been urging for years. “The resolution to ban snow within City Limits is adopted.” The…

Speculation that Bernie Sanders intends to run in the 2020 election was kicked up several notches today after he was spotted in a gym working out. “His exercise regime was definitely focused on his arms,…

As the last local performances of Hamilton come to a close, Pittsburgh lovers of musical theatre who haven’t seen the show yet have stormed the Benedum Center and taken the entire production hostage. Their released…

No sooner than he was released from custody on bail, Trump associate Roger Stone was criticized for performing a ‘Nixon’ salute on his release. “Richard Nixon deserves better than this.” Stone was roundly criticized for…

Commerce secretary Wilbur Ross has apologized for suggesting unpaid Federal employees shouldn’t need to depend on food banks. “What is it you kids say? My bad.” He says his brief time in the spotlight of…

(Coral Gables, FL) Speaking from his home today, former Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush said he now accepts he would have made a terrible Republican President, and that the American people didn’t want him. “Obviously you wanted…

Doctors treating former Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said there is no cause for long-term concern, but they confirmed that Clinton has been incapacitated by the abrupt onset of uncontrollable laughter. “She was able to communicate…

CBS has announced parts of its fall lineup, with the most notable new entry being a Games of Thrones spin-off made in collaboration with HBO studios. “G.O.T. Los Angeles will see your favorite characters solving…