Friday, July 5, 2013

So people post my lyrics online all the time and they're always wrong. I have never once looked at my lyrics that people posted on RapGenius or anywhere else and seen them entirely correct. To remedy this, I'm releasing a Spose Complete Lyrics Book later this year after I get it printed and mailed to my Kickstarter backers. In the meantime, here's the lyrics to the first 8 songs on "The Peter Sparker Mixtape" (download here: http://spose.bandcamp.com)

1. Salami

I'm the broke moocher you don't wanna wake up with / But on mics? I'm realer than some a-cup tits / It's like I found out the weed was my first cousin / Cuz after I get it, we break up quick / They say I don't measure up I got more lines than a yard stick / and you're just trying to make out with a whip you're a car kiss (carcass) / 1, 2, 3 I went to preschool / Tell me what's new to brag about so I can be cool / I lay lower than the bassline's dealer / cuz the humbugs numb in their great-rhyme-feelers / You can play "Who's Snapback's Tealer" / I'm just trying to put it into words. / You should get some v-necks some kleenex / You all look crestfallen get back to yes y'all-in' / Still hungry as a kid I wasn't fed right / My clique's so ill I'm browsing hospital websites / Click.

[Chorus] I'm going ham I don't think that you noticed cuz there's so much bologna all over the focus / Yo… a couple more "yo"s / I'm going spam I don't think that you noticed cuz you got salami all over the camera

Delete your Faceobok to it / My peeps' teeth are looking like the Bruins': black and yellow / I been revered by a jury of my peers cuz I rapped like I'm under oath my whole career / It's not a novelty or comedy because I'm into honesty and modesty and never did a robbery / Hmmm… You got the clip that goes boom? / How many cyllinders in it when your whip goes vroom? / Because I could give a fuckin' fuck / I'm overseas with my speech like beach cover-ups (uh) / To you rhymers that are lying saying nothing much / To you vaginas I'm a c-section, I'm a cut above / I open up a beer, check my Gmail, treat beats like a cheap version of a therapist / I've had it up to "hear" like a sea sell, crumbs of the cannabis on a can of Sierra Mist / Please! My rap steez different / I got guitars "whaling" like a Japanese fisherman / Plus I got all my words pronounced / I'm no pretender a defender of the herbs and clowns / I put it down2. The King of Maine

Yo, I wake up make a K-Cup then I blaze up, shave with a razorblade / My hat is still crooked I'm reading a book and my body was made in Maine / Man, I'm still deflecting all the bill collectors and I hate when they say my name / My buzz would be massive if I wasn't slacking and jerking to Jayden Jaymes / Celtics sticker on the bumper of a clunker but my vocals real / Fuck rap. I might sell my mic and buy a snowmobile / I can't relate to throwing money when she makes it clap / I can relate to doing dishes. We should take a nap: / Tired like Michelin of your wrists when they're glistening / We don't want no yacht to float but just a boat to go fishing in / Man my whole yard is a minor mess / Go hard till my dying breath / Owe bars to the IRS / We got no Rs in our dialect / Me and my peeps speak a different kind of speech / Where Verizon 4G don't reach (Can you me now?) / Coming live from where mill towns are still towns / Even though they shut the mills down /

But I'm feeling like the King of Maine / The King of Maine / Wear a seal-skin jersey to the Sea Dogs / I'm the King of Maine / Plow truck all gold never hydroplane / I tell em: Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything pleasant / tell 'em: this is 207.

Hey, I heard the news in the street / That we're the shit and you're the pubes on the seat / Even though I triple bogey that par 5 / Rangoon with my mai tai / Steal another motherfucker's WiFi / Got Texas Pete on my Five Guys / I'm back / facts: spit a little bit but I never made a gat go cap cap pap / But my backpack on and I'm smoking / Being homeless is bogus so paying bills is my motive / Can't afford G4s I'm poor on tour in a worn '04 Ford Focus / Ayup / I know that this weed might be the death of me / but I got this "O" broke up like it's parentheses / I'm yellin ayup / I weigh a buck forty still but when my finger tips touch the quill / I'll be feeling like I'm Paul Pierce and I'm Rondo / I'm John Deere and I'm John Doe / I'm the rap star from the back yard who never act hard or went half-heart / I'm the Peoples Douche AKA The Truth / Everytime that I get in the booth I'll be feeling like

The King of Maine / The King of Maine / If you're Bat-Man I must be L.L. Bane / I'm The King of Maine / The King of Maine / I got Susan Collins giving everyone brain / I tell em Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything's pleasant / Tell 'em: This is 207

I'm from the 420 - 213 / I'm on the throne if you're looking for who to unseat / I got mooseblood in my goblet / Lobsters in my optics / I'm live on the map where the dudes don't rap in the Altima black who I do go past come hop in / Find me chillin in Rockland / where the townies sell oxies so the coroners got coffins / It's my fault my paid because of what I say / I rock it for a profit pockets fat as Paul Lepage / Got a tattoo on my arm that says "Don't Stop" / cuz other guys told me otherwise when we talked / I told em Wells, Maine what the sign say / where I go ape with my primates / Rhyme great / 16s like 2 x 8 / Wine grapes and prime steaks / Damn I'm feeling marvelous / Had a hand with no good cards in it that I parted with / I'm an artisan / I think you're an amateur / Kids, cops, janitors all pull out their cameras when I walk out of Hannaford

The King of Maine / The King of Maine / I got a fuckin' elk head hanging on my chain / The King of Maine / The King of Maine / And all the state game wardens yell my name / I tell em: Welcome to 207 / It's the way life should be everything's pleasant / Tell em this is 2073. All Rs

SEE ME RIDING IN THE 03 ALTIMA FEELING LIKE A BOSS
CUZ I JUST GOT PAID AND I GOT THE DAY OFF
SIXTY HOURS LAST WEEK? THAT'S 700 BUCKS
NOW I CAN PAY MY SPEEDING TICKET AND BUY BUD

I BEEN BROKE SINCE LAAAAST
SATURDAY I HAD TO GO TO COINSTAR WITH A JAR JUST GET GAAAAAS
TO GET TO WORK WHERE I'M FLIPPING BURGERS TILL I GET SWAMP AAAASS
MY FOLKS DON'T OWN NO BUSINESS
I JUST CUT FISH AND DID DISHES BUT WHEN IT'S PAYDAY?
I'M BIMPIN
I GOT OLD DUDES IN MY PANTS (PAUSE!)
ULYSSES S. GRANT (DAWG!)
HAD A LOT OF LONG DAYS NOW I'M WHIPPIN BIMPIN BUMPIN ANDRE AND ANTOINE
THAT'S OUTKAST, I'M A MISFIT
I GOT NO WHIPS FOR CHRISTMAS
MY BROKE FOLKS IF YOU LISTENING SING THIS SHIT

[PRECHORUS]
YOU COULD FUCK WAY MORE WOMEN
SPEND WAY MORE CASH
YOU ROCK 2 CHAAAAINZZ!!!
YOU COULD KICK MY ASS
YOU COULD DRINK MORE LIQUOR
YOU COULD SMOKE MORE WEED
BUT YOU'LL NEVER FEEL AS GOOD AS ME WHEN I'M RIDING IN THE

[CHORUS]
03 ALTIMA FEELING LIKE A BOSS
CUZ I JUST GOT PAID AND I GOT THE DAY OFF
SIXTY HOURS LAST WEEK? THAT'S 700 BUCKS
NOW I CAN PAY MY SPEEDING TICKET AND BUY BUD

LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS HIGH IF YOUR CASH LOW
IF YOUR MANAGER IS AN ASSHOLE
IF YOUR FAVORITE BAND BROKE UP BUT YOU COULDN'T GET THE SHIFT OFF FOR THEIR LAST SHOW
YOU'RE WORKING NINE DAYS A WEEK
NOW YOU AND YOUR GIRL DON'T SPEAK
BUT WHEN YOU GET YOUR PAYCHECK YOU CAN BUY THE LIQUOR THAT'LL MAKE HER WANNA FREAK
DO THAT SHIT THAT MAKES YOU FEEL PERSONALLY
LIKE SPOSE DOES WHEN HE PUTS A VERSE TO BEATS
WHEN YOU GET TO UPGRADE FROM COMMERCIAL WEED
AND YOU STOP BY YOUR WORK BUT JUST TO BEEP
CUZ YOU'RE A HAVE-NOT GOT A PAD-LOCK
ON THE BULK-HEAD AT YOUR DAD'S SPOT
THEN YELL THIS SHIT LIKE AD-ROCK WHEN IT MMM DROPS!

[PRECHORUS]
[CHORUS]
[BRIDGE]

I JUST GOT AN ORDER IN RIGHT AFTER I CLEANED THE GRILL
(CLEANED THE GRILL)
I BEEN WORKING OVERTIME BUT IT STILL DOESN'T COVER THE BILLS
(IT DON'T COVER THE BILL)
MY LANDLORD RAISED THE RENT AGAIN THEN MY BOSS CUT THE HOURS BACK (HE CUT MY HOURS BAACK)
SO HOW CAN I GET AHEAD UNLESS THEY CUT ME SOME SLAAACK

MAN, MY CREDIT ISN'T RATED A
SO YOU KNOW WHERE I'LL B
WORKING BURNING PIRATED C-Ds
WHPIPIN WITH MY GAS TANK ON E
DRESSED LIKE I DON'T GIVE A F
BANK ACCOUNT NEGATIVE ONE G
CAN'T AFFORD TO SAY H-I TO A J
BUT WHEN YOU SEE ME ON PAYDAY!!!
I'LL FRONT THE LOOT
I'LL BUY THE BAG
I'LL COP THE BEER
I'LL PAY THE TAB
I'LL DRIVE THE WHIP
I'LL BUY THE GAS
I GOT THIS SHIT
DON'T GOTTA PAY ME BACK
I'M FEELING LIKE I'M SEAN
CARTER DALY PUFF COMBS BUT WHEN IT'S ALL GONE?

FUCK IT I'M STILL RIDING IN MY 03 ALTIMA

[CHORUS]5. I'm Starving

Ain't shit changed still bony no Bowflex / Googling some titties when my girl won't give me throat sex (swag) / Stressing, strung out Kotex / Wishing I could get my money back from my old checks / American proletariat derelict no inheritance heiresses think my lair is embarrassing / I'm the stoner Spider-Man ripping chemical vitamins spitting general cyphering gribbing emerald Heinekens / I sold LPs, smoked LBs / You smell me? That's Wells Beach / I'm on my soil chilling on a winter's night / I ran out of oil that's that shit I don't like / Came in the game with a brain not an amulet / I need the cannabis not what is on the mannequin / I procreated so you know I need the money / Must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

It's that ugly white rapper no not Paul Wall / but the one from the north doesn't say "all y'all" / I got a 10 sack that's like 8 more balls / but I'm gonna blow trees till the acorns fall / Ayup / It's like I'm riding in a beamer when I'm in a Nissan with Ryan Peters on the speakers / Ayup / Same shit people that I came with still up in Maine bitch I ain't that famous / And this isn't commercial but it would be if I hadn't been dropped from Universal / They say you gotta pay to fly / You want filets on a plane well them stakes is high / So I'm sitting at McDonalds / I don't got a dollar / I might spit in it and then sip the saliva out the bottle / I procreated so you know I need the money / Must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

[Chorus]

Skinny women lose weight like… / Bring it! / This is East of Eden mixed with Reasonable Doubt / Made an album for the label but they never put it out / Paid my dues now I'm waiting on the couch / Made enough off rap for downpayments on a house / Ayup / Come hither the blunt and drum hitter the humble humdinger the mumbling gunslinger / Ayup / Truck beds middle class bud hev Nickleback little cash 'nuff said cripple swag / Spizzy / Back like a tramp stamp locale / Made a hundred grand in a month but I'm broke now / Spizzy / Luckily, that's what my steez is: genius covered in the crumbs from the Cheez Its / Got the fame minimal, nickname pivotal, whip miserable, ribcage visible / Uh I procreated so you know I need the money must've saw me looking scrawny and they thought he wasn't hungry

I used to have work clothes looking like I rolled in a dirt road / Boss was in jerk-mode now I got fans in the first row / Used to blaze two in a Prelude / With my eyes all glassy like a space-suit / Spittin gettin pissy like a drug test / Sippin' on a blood red Bud Hev' / but I'm the best on the beats, it's destined to be, S to the P / O to the S to the E / emceed got cash for my speech / never went to sleep without grass on my cleats / I been earning a permanent place and taking it passionately / but my biceps are looking like Avril Lavigne's / I rep for Maine rap I'm yet to change that / Sweat where my taint at, yep, the same cat / Jizzin' on her vertebrae the way I came back / If he ain't wack, he must have "Spizzy" on the nametag / I been spittin' what the citizens living and my vision isn't primitive is it / It's like visiting when I deliver uninhibited riveting images of villagers' children / I got definitive scribbling / Opponents groaning when I'm holding paper / They must be unfamiliar with my nomenclature / Hating thug rappers give me love after and my raps attract biters like a bug zapper

[Chorus]
They told me in your dreams / Would I ever get to do this rap shit / Kept my head up and looked past it / I don't know about you / But I wanna do what I love and I'ma do it till the day that I'm done / They told me in your dreams / Would I ever get to live this life so I'm just making sure I'm living it right / I don't know about you / But I'ma keep my trees rolled up at the top looking down like "What!"

[Chris Webby]
You can find me posted up / I stay in the cut / Fat dutch with my hand on my nuts / Wear a watch just cuz I don't look at it much / Shit, I don't slap the bass yo I'm never in a rush - get it? / Just a stoner no college diploma but got a bag that's full of sour with a godly aroma / Got a load of bullshit I gotta deal with on the daily / Success is a motherfuckin' double edged blade, b / That's how it is just a matter of fact / I'm a humble dude, yo, I just happen to rap / And I do it to the fullest what's the matter with that? / Shit I put the work in, lemme gather my stacks / Shouts to Maine O.O.B. from the 207 to the 203 / Doing me kicks clean when I step up in the scene / Fuckin' with me? In your dreams! Bitch, Webby!

[Chorus]

I met some snakes in the apple like first couple / Burned in that kerfuffle, learned the ropes and turnbuckles / So not to burst bubbles / but you must be wylin' if you think I will be silent like the word 'subtle' / I risked $100,000 on Spose, bros / If you're not 'all in' on you, you oughta fold / Hunkered in my bunker tryna get it / Until I'm light-headed like spelunkers in a crevice / I got crowds yelling back like we're bickering because I spit the shit that's sicker than a chick who's sniffling / The formulas a simple thing you get the tickets sit and then you sip a drink I spit the hits that get you tickled pink around the nipple ring / Lemme show you where Maine is / I'm from the pines got lines like a flame-broiled angus / I slang language / Been sellin' it from the genesis / Be ready cuz I'm heavy as Webby in the Connecticut scene / but by L.L. Bean, they said IN YOUR DREAMS

[Chorus]7. Hipsterlude

I wanna be a hipster / Get a couple pairs of pants from my sister / Get wax for my mustache whiskers / Keep it going till I'm looking like a drifter / I wanna be a hipster / Let everybody know that I'm looking / For some cigarettes and some couch cushions / For the day that I move out to Brookyln / And start a band / And the name of the band will be some symbols / And our music will never sound simple / And when people start to like us we'll break up cuz people liking is lame and we're weird / Weird / Weirder than you / I don't sip an I.P.A. / I sip that double I.P.A. Vanilla Stout / brewed with nutmeg and barley from some country besides Bavaria because Bavaria's too trendy and I don't like anything that's trendy even though I'm just a fuckin' poser / I wanna be a hipster / Get a couple pairs of pants from my sister / Get wax for my mustache whiskers / Keep it going till I'm looking like a drifter / I wanna be a hipster / Let everybody know that I'm looking / For some cigarettes and some couch cushions / For the day that I move out to Brookyln / And start a band8. The Peoples Douche

I'm sorry to interrupt your evening at the eatery / but I'm about to freak what you believe unbelievably / You will see, everytime Sparker comma Peter speaks / It's bacon for the Jews and gay marriage for the Jesus freaks / VHS tapes flying out the RedBox / All the Yankees fans cheering for the Red Sox / and the neo-nazis all growing dreadlocks / Listening to ERykah Badu until their head nods / I got Facebook accounts for the Amish / Throw a little steak in while I'm making Vegans omelets / Democrats out hunting in the forestry / Republicans giving tax cuts to minorities / All the beer snobs chilling sippin Natty Ice / while I take a bachelor and match him with a battered wife / Got the hipsters clothes shopping at Wal-Mart / Hanging with the B-Team acting like their all stars / Unplugging tanning booths in Little Italy / Hanging with some country music fans bumping Lil' B / Making A&Rs spit bars in vans / while reading poetry to some Nascar fans / Look

[Chorus]

It's Peter Sparker in this bitch / I'm the people's douche and I will never quit until the day I see the poor become the rich / Or the rich become the poor / So they're holding open doors / For the single moms who buy their food up at the dollar store /

I got some alpha males thinking they're lame / Donald Trump just asked me for spare change / The Westborough Baptist Church is having gay sex / and I got the sneakerheads shopping up at Pay Less / and I got the teenagers all leaving social media and reading what a library is on Wikipedia / I could make a morning person sleep until the leaving shit I got a Lebron James moving back to Cleveland / I could get the housewives to all stop gossiping and get the Taliban starting all girls colleges (colleges) / Illiterate people they all wanna read about it / Lets do something sweet and not tweet about it / Dead beat dads asking where the diapers are / Drag queens all dancing in the biker bar / Jocks giving geeks props as they pass in the hall / I got Kobe Bryant passing the ball / C'mon

[Chorus]
Man the day is gonna come when the bosses will be generous and all the employees will get some benefits for once / and until the day it does, you know I'm your fuckin' bud / It's the People's Douche so let me see those dirty hands up / put your dirty hands up / if you only got a dollar in your pocket and that shit ain't enough / put your hands up / put your hands up / if you're not here to put em up cuz you had to work and couldn't come