Online retailer Locher’s has a line of tops embroidered with feminine, floral detailing and messages like “Allez tous vous faire foutre” (“You can all go fuck yourselves”). They’re currently on clearance, but they’d also be very easy to DIY.

There are a zillion tutorials for adding cross-stitched or embroidered accents to clothing, but if you’re completely hopeless with a needle you could also use fabric paint.

My single quibble with the Locher’s messages is that they’re a little too obvious. I think it’d be funnier to have them worked subtly into the design so they’re overlooked at a glance, and only noticed when someone looks closely. Working the words in amongst flower stems or twining ivy would be one way to do it; so would alternating letters with some other design; say, along a collar edge: “star – F – star – U – star – C…” and so on.

These would also make an amusing gift, either for someone with a good sense of humor who’d appreciate the joke or to give to (for instance, just hypothetically) your mother-in-law and see how long she wears it before she notices.