School starts in one week. At this point I start to analyze all the things I didn’t do this summer. I didn’t read that stack of books I planned to devour. I didn’t keep my garden weeded and now some plants are under producing. I didn’t invite over all those families I had hoped to, on and on.I am also starting to realize I have not prepped well for the upcoming school year. Only a week away and I have only bought a few spiral notebooks. I am spoiled; my twenty year old daughter does most of my scheduling, because she loves that sort of thing. Still, now I feel ill prepared. Looking backwards, I am a failure. Looking forward, I am a failure.BUT, today is a gift from the Lord. The heavy weight of yesterday and tomorrow can be thrown off by renewing my strength today. My strength lies with the Lord. Reliving yesterday steals today’s joy. Worrying about tomorrow makes today anemic. The Lord is here, right now, right where I am. He can forgive my mistakes and He can give me vision for tomorrow, but His strength is for today! Yes, I still need to prep for the school year, but I am not weighed down by the whole year, rather I am empowered by the vision of teaching my children and shaping them for the future. The tasks are not as burdensome when I can envision why they are needed. Yahoo! School starts in one week.

Psalm 145: 17-19 “The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cry and saves them.”The Lord made each of us. God always has a purpose and plan for what He makes.God’s loves is unconditional. He knows we are prone to wandering. As we prepare for courtship we may really, really want to catch one boys eye. We may give into some flirting or pick a tighter top to wear so we “stand out". All the time this struggle is taking place the Lord is whispering, “No Sweetheart, this is not My plan for you. Lovely child don’t chase after temporary pleasures, I love you; I want to fill you up.”The Lord is saying “No” not because He wants to keep fun from you but, because He knows the plans He has for you. He can see the big picture and what each choice brings with it.Jer. 29: 11 “’For I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord, “to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘”The Lord is also near to all who call on Him.“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer. 29: 12-13Sometimes when we are lonely we self medicate—we try to fill that empty feeling. We text our friends, try to do something fun, make and eat a snack….none of those are bad yet they will only distract us not fulfill us.When it comes to giving up on courtship, being lonely is the number one side tracker. It is the densest fog. Only Christ can truly satisfy us, because He created us to love Him and that is where we get filled up.If we go into a relationship because we are lonely, who are we thinking about? SELFIf two lonely people get together, who is each thinking about? SELFWhat do two self-thinking people have to give each other? NOTHINGEach is thinking, “Why don’t you love me?”Look at two selfish toddlers trying to play. "Mine, mine" is the mantra. Nothing can be enjoyed because each toddler is so concerned with making sure they get everything they want. It may not be played out so loudly, but marriage is the same, it doesn’t work if individuals remain selfish.The best thing you can do for your future spouse is to defeat selfishness and get filled with Jesus.So in a nut shell, these years before courtship are a time of protecting your heart, making and living by your plan, researching what you want in a spouse and preparing to be the wife he will need.

Above all else guard your heart. Make a plan and live by it. Project feelings into the future. All of these start NOW, yet, in order to be the wife our husband will need, we must prepare. Being a good wife doesn’t just happen. Proverbs 31 :12 “ She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Note, as Leslie Ludy points out, this is not just every day after they marry or even after they meet---rather, ALL the days of her life. That starts now.Bring good to your future spouse now by honoring him, thinking of him. In any relationship with a boy think, “How would my future spouse feel now if he were here?”II Cor. 11: 2 “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to Him.”What does Webster say pure is? Pure: genuine, real; free from guilt; chaste; free from anything improper.God wants us to be presented as a pure virgin, NOT just a virgin or a “technical” virgin, he wants us to marry as PURE virgins. Think of this analogy: Let’s say you are throwing a party and you hear I am a good chef. You decide to visit my restaurant to ask me to cook for your party. As you walk up there are flies buzzing around the front door. O well, it is summer, that happens you reason. With each step inside the building you feel the stickiness of a dirty floor. With a glance around the room there is no missing the fact that all the table clothes are wrinkled and dotted with stains. Still, you hold out judgment until you meet me. Out of the kitchen I come with my hair hanging dirty and stringy. As I reach to shake your hand I take a quick swipe across my drippy nose and welcome you to my restaurant. Do you hire me? NO. Because you are not just looking for a cook you are looking for a “pure” cook. So, we are to be pure virgins for life mate.Eph. 5: 3 “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”God doesn’t ask us to be better than our friends or to make a rule about how far is too far, rather, He calls us to live without even a hint of sexual immorality.“In 1952, Florence Chadwick attempted to swim the chilly ocean waters between Catalina Island and the California shore. She swam through foggy weather and choppy seas fro fifteen hours. Her muscles began to cramp, and her resolve weakened. She begged to be taken out of the water, but her mother, riding in a boat alongside, urged her not to give up. She kept trying but grew exhausted and stopped swimming. Aides lifted her out of the water and into the boat. They paddled a few more minutes, the mist broke, and she discovered that the shore was less than a half mile away. “All I could see was the fog,” she explained at a news conference. “I think if I could have seen the shore, I would have made it.” Max Lucado Facing Your GiantsIn prepping for courtship we need to keep our eye on the goal of being the wife our husband needs, NOT giving up in the fog of being lonely, accused of being strange or thinking God is too busy for this and needs your help. Tomorrow I will share just a few more thoughts on prepare.

Above all else protect your heart. Then, make a plan and live by it. Today we will look at Project (with a long o). According to Webster’s 1828 dictionary, to project is: to cast forward in the mind; to devise something to be done. So, how does project fit into courtship? Let’s start by asking a question.

Is it wrong to be attracted to a guy?No. God has created us to be attracted to the opposite sex; that is normal.What does a girl do with those feelings? This is where project comes in. When feelings come, step back and evaluate what attracts you to that boy. Ie: he is kind to his siblings, he is encouraging, he is tall….it can be anything. Now tuck that away in your “what I want in a husband" file: and keep it for later. This is projecting. As far as the specific boy that is stirring your emotions, I would encourage keeping a little distance until the feelings fade and you can treat him like a brother. I Tim 5: 1b-2 “Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”Projecting is like doing research. Every plan requires research before beginning and so does courtship. How do you know who to say “yes” to if you have not both observed and noted what you like?Still this is too big of a decision to just weigh what you like—what else is there? Tomorrow we will have a longer post addressing Preparation.

Above all else, guard your heart. Next, make a plan and live it out. Think of something in your life that required planning and practice. Some examples might be: a speech, sports,a project,finishing a subject early…..Think of what you did to accomplish this goal: --planned--sought advice--checked with others along the way--practiced--revisedWas it all fun? No.Could you have done it all alone?If yes, would it have turned out as well?How did others help?Marriage is a goal; we cannot expect to get there with a good result without a plan. If our plan is courtship then that will guide our decisions now.So if our plan is to only “date” to get to know someone with the intent to marry, then we need a plan that keeps us from being distracted from that goal. We need to gather around us a team that will help us fulfill that plan. As we look for people to walk along side us, don’t miss those who love you most and know you best, your parents. Crafting a plan now will help you make wise decisions when your emotions try to confuse you. Make your plan as detailed as possible. Think about what conversations are appropriate with a guy; what actions should be avoided; what attire you will wear and what you will not; and make a way out of one on one situations. Plan a code for friends or parents for help; a word, a text or a look that they know means you want them to intervene.Get alone, take time to think and pray, then make a plan you can live out regarding courtship.

Last week was girl’s camp. Four days, four girls, four devos. We looked ahead to what these girls will be encountering in the next few years and we came up with four C’s. We covered: Cars, College, Courtship and Career. The other host mom prepared cars and career, while I looked at courtship and college. Today I would like to start a four day series touching on courtship. I broke it down into four P’s: protect, plan, project (with a long o), and prepare. I will start with PROTECT.Why courtship and not dating? I like courtship because I hope to stir you girls away from the destruction that comes from shallow “going out”; this is the seeing what you can get from the other person and then breaking up when you tire of them type of dating.I want to encourage waiting to “date” until you are ready to marry and with the purpose to see if this is the man God has for you.That would be my definition of courtship: getting to know someone with the intent to marry.Now courtship does not start the day a man asks your father if he can get to know you better.It starts NOW! There are four P’s that start NOW, they are: Protect, Plan, Project and Prepare.The first thing you can do now is protect your heart. Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else protect your heart.”I understand this is not easy with EVERYONE asking you if you have a boyfriend and All your friends enjoying the attention of cute boys. Yet, this is a choice you will not regret—where casual dating includes a lot of regrets.Protecting your heart means keeping it whole for your future husband, not giving pieces of it away.Protecting your heart means not giving your heart away in relationships or in fantasies. It is not just girls that are dating that are giving away their hearts. Determine what awakens your heart to fantasy and deny yourself; all with the goal of keeping your heart whole for the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with.Tomorrow we will look at the second P: Plan.

“Be the Mom.” That has been my husband’s advice to me several times the past few months. As I listen to my children, which is important, I can get soft. My compassion, which I didn’t even know I had, starts to wage war on my common sense. When I run to my husband for insight, he often encourages me with, “Don’t be afraid to be the Mom.” The other day I was talking through a scenario with a friend and she too said, “Don’t apologize for being the Mom.” Wow! Guess I need a shot of Mom power! Not just a reminder, but a kick in the pants. You too? Then get it here….Be the Mom!