1. A breach or rent; a breaking forth into a loud, shrill sound.
2. An harangue; a long tirade on any subject.
3. A record of her attempt to climb out of writer's block

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

fat baby. that's me.

I have gained a pound for every month of relationship happiness over the past 18 months.

Apparently, I'm so happy my ass is busting my pants!

I discovered this yesterday during my annual visit to my OB/Gyn. The nurse kept nudging the scale weight farther and farther to the right until it rested on 243.

I knew those jeans were a little tighter.

So that means tomorrow I'm dragging my 243 pound ass out of bed, at 5.30 am, to walk. Every day.
And it means I can't order takeout for dinner when I'm too tired to cook after I come home from work.
And it means my portions are going to be the size of my fist.

In good news, my doctor didn't balk when I said I'd like to start thinking about more permanent birth control solutions. Essure, here I come? Let's hope so!

Here's a picture of a fat baby because that's what I feel like (and this is kind of what my baby pictures look like):