Finnair cabin crew share disappointingly tame tales from the sky

No scandal here. This 256-page book is filled with (mostly) family-friendly tales from cabin crew who have worked with the airline over the last 50 years.Because few can resist a good mile-high yarn, Finnair has just released a collection of travel accounts written by customer service professionals of the sky.

Or disbelief. Like this one: “A passenger was upset on a leisure flight as he had asked for a window seat, but had been given one on the aisle instead ... I wondered what I could do to cheer him up, and decided to make him a window. I took a trash frame and taped 'curtains' from kitchen roll on it.

"I went up to the man and said, 'I’m really sorry that our service chain has let you down today. However, to make up for your loss, I do have this portable window for you. Would you like me to hold it in place, while you eat your preordered vegetarian meal?' The passenger burst out laughing, and stayed in a good mood for the rest of the flight.”

Not exactly the kind of service we’ve come to expect from global sky warriors.

This one's a bit closer to today's reality: "There was a well-known Finnish rally driver seated in business class on a European flight. My experienced and rather outspoken colleague decided to give him some motherly advice and said, 'Young man, it’s polite to take your cap off when you eat.'”

There are few PG-rated moments too.

"I was working in business class on a flight to New York, and there were two particularly nice men sitting on the first row.

"I had served them throughout dinner, and as they were settling down to rest, I said, 'If you have any other desires you would like me to fulfill, just let me know.' I knew it didn’t quite come out right the moment I said it, so I added, 'As long as they are decent ones.'"

Profits from the book will be donated to the Finnish Central Association for Mental Health. So we’ll forgive them for leaving out the truly juicy stuff the world's disgruntled flight attendants will just have to keep writing anonymously.