Wednesday, February 3, 2016

You may find this hard to believe, but the Son of Celluloid
has, once or twice, been accused of being a movie snob. I know, right? Usually it’s when I’m proclaiming my love for
something artsy-fartsy and high-concept.
Now don’t get me wrong. While I
have always loved the grindhouse, somewhere in the process of getting a film
studies degree I developed an appreciation for the arthouse. Sure, I love Jason and Freddy. I love Kwaidan too, though. Maybe a little Santa Sangre. Even pretentious as hell stuff like Hour of
the Wolf. But sometimes, you want to
dispense with all of the fancy bullshit and bask in as much gratuitous nudity
and violence as possible. We all love a
good steak, but dammit, you’re craving a Whopper. In other words, you want the simple
pleasures. And that’s where Death-Scort
Service comes in.

Synopsis: Someone is killing hookers.

Yep. That’s all the
synopsis I’m giving you. Why? Because you’ll know from that if this is your
type of flick. Death-Scort Service isn’t
particularly long on plot. It doesn’t need
to be. It delivers exactly what you want
from a flick like this, naked chicks getting dead. And let me tell you, it offers up just that
in abundance and to excess.

Let’s start with the nudity, shall we? I would say that there is an at least
semi-naked woman on screen for about 87% of the movie. Yeah, I just pulled that number out of thin
air, but it’s a pretty good estimate. It’s
definitely the “beyond R-rated” variety of nudity. Not XXX, but pretty graphic. Most of the actresses playing the non-clad
ladies of ill repute are of the “Suicide Girl” variety, which is right up my
alley. Hell, this was a collaborative
effort between Gatorblade Films and Sleaze Box.
With the SB boys involved, you know what you’re in for. Naughty bits on display. What’s not to love about that?

As for the gore, it’s exactly the kind of stuff that fans of
low budget splatter (like me) eat up. Low-fi
and practical, just the way we like it. A
copious amount of the red stuff goes flying, dripping, and running. Skin and entrails too. This is the gore you loved in all of your
favorite video store nasties. Besides,
Marcus Koch is involved, so you know it’s gotta be good. I don’t want to get into details so as not to
give any of the kills away, but suffice it to say they’re quite
satisfying. Well, except for one. SLIGHT SPOILER: There is one scene involving barbed wire. Unfortunately, they used the same bad $5.99 fake
barbed wire that you can get at any Party City.
It’s a shame, too. Otherwise it’s
a really cool, depraved scene that could have been legendary. It might not bother some, but as a bit of an
authority on barbed wire from my deathmatch work, that stood out like a sore
thumb to me. There is better prop barbed
wire out there, guys.

Having discussed the gory and sexy stuff, the other aspects
of the film are better than your average underground filth fest. The acting is about what you’d expect from a
flick like this. Performances from the
ladies range from “Damn, she’s pretty good” to “Damn, it’s a good thing she’s
pretty.” There are also appearances by
two guys that are always welcome additions to any flick, Sleaze Box stalwart
Bob Glazier and indie legend Joel Wynkoop.
The final twist/reveal of the killer’s identity works well. I actually didn’t see it coming, which is
saying something. 79 minutes is an
optimum length, and the pace is pretty much perfect.

This movie manages to do exactly what a lot of the films of
its ilk attempt but fail at; go to extremes with the graphic nudity and
violence while capturing the feeling of a late 80’s/early 90’s shot on video
gem. As we saw with Die Die Delta Pi,
director Sean Donohue has a firm grasp on what it takes to make an enjoyable
slasher flick. We’ve all been burned by films
with great names that don’t live up to the promise of their titular glory. I know exactly what you’re looking for from a
flick called Death-Scort Service, and you need not worry. It delivers the goods. Death-Scort Service is sleazy, dirty, bloody,
mean, nasty fun. Nathan says check it
out.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Ever since the first scary stories were told around
campfires, the genre has always been fueled by the intrinsic connection between
fear and titillation. This libido-baiting is perhaps at its most effective and
fascinating when dealing with the idea that true sexual ecstasy can only be
found in the otherworldly, monstrous, and grotesque. The ultimate kink. It’s the reason many early boogie-persons (how’s
that for PC?) took the form of Incubi and Succubi creeping into your bedroom at
night for illicit, nightmarish encounters. It’s the
orgasm metaphor of Mina’s enthrallment to Dracula after that first bite. It’s the heart of the Hellraiser
franchise. One of my favorite treatments
is an old comic story called Jennifer, which was the inspiration for Dario
Argento’s only moment of greatness since the 90’s. Hell, it’s why there’s tentacle porn. It’s also the central thrust (uh huh huh huh) of
Harvest Lake.Synopsis: Five friends
fall under the seductive influence of a libidinous, otherworldly presence that
threatens to change their lives forever.Harvest Lake comes to us from the formidable combination of Forbidden
Films and Mostly Harmless Pictures. Considering
the track record of this creative collective (Found, Headless, Time To Kill, etc.), expectations are
understandably high. Harvest Lake does
not disappoint. It also isn’t at all
what I was expecting.When Scott Schirmer (director) and Brian Williams (Director
of Photography) came on the Picking Brains podcast and told Brad and I that
they were making a “psychosexual erotic horror movie,” my mind went in sleazier
directions. If I hear “erotic horror,” I
think Jess Franco. I think Misty
Mundae. I think about that white-eyed,
leather-clad demon chick that did the old Redemption Cinema DVD intros. Don’t act like you don’t remember. Those were awesome.

Anyway, unless you’re new around here, you know that I have
no problem whatsoever with sleaze. I’m a fan, in fact. However, this isn’t that kind of movie. Yes, the plot of the film is VERY sexual and
there is a LOT of sexual activity in the film.
It does not, however, use its sex as a gimmick or simply for the sake of
gratuitous T&A. No, Harvest Lake wields
its sex like a weapon. It is the stream
that the story itself rides along on.
Harvest Lake reminded me of Cronenberg’s Shivers in the way it uses
sexuality to intensify the threat, making it more intimate and disturbing.

Also like that film, Harvest Lake is, deep down, a creature
feature. But the way it manifests said
creature is varied and inspired. Very
rarely do we get a good look at the actual creature(s?). Instead, most of the time we see the threat either
through the lake itself, which functions as a proxy for whatever the hell it is,
or the people under the monster’s influence.
It’s all very Lovecraftian, with the tentacled creature of unknown
origin driving people to madness and mania through its hijacking of their
primal urges. That’s right, our
unfortunate campers are getting it on with tentacle monsters. Answering the Booty Call of Cthulhu, if you
will. It all culminates in the most
bizarrely beautiful scene that you’re likely to behold for a good, long while.On the technical end, Brian Williams deserves a tremendous
amount of credit. Harvest Lake is an absolutely
gorgeous film. Not only did they choose
a beautiful location to shoot in, but it’s perfectly photographed. One of the things I’ve chided movies for in
the last 15 years or so is the franticness of the visuals. With average shot lengths of 3 seconds and cameras
that never stop moving just for the sake of moving, it’s nice to see a director
and cinematographer set up outstanding shots and then just let them speak for
themselves. Brian and Scott had the good
sense to trust in their images enough to not resort to the cheap “shaky cam and
overkill editing” tricks that plague the current movie landscape. Between the cinematography and the editing, it’s
a refreshing throwback to a style that many of today’s filmmakers sadly
couldn’t pull off.

The acting also deserves special discussion. There are a total of 7 people in Harvest
Lake, with only 5 having dialogue and significant screen time. With such a small cast, a weak link would
have been immediately apparent and a huge detriment to the flick. Luckily, there isn’t one. I knew what to expect from Ellie Church and
Tristan Risk; the cream of the current horror actress crop. I’ve never seen a bad performance from
either, and they both just keep getting better.
I was less familiar with the guys, who pleasantly surprised me. I had only seen Kevin Roach in a couple of
shorts before (The Confession of Fred Krueger, Bloody Hooker Bang Bang), and he
turned in a hell of a performance. Dan
Nye and Jason Crowe were new to me, but both were excellent. Not only was everyone effective in their
individual roles, but they had the kind of on-screen chemistry that makes an
ensemble cast like this more than the sum of its parts.

Issues with the flick?
Yeah, I’ve got one or two. A
couple scenes could have used a little tightening up. There was a momentary sound-sync issue that
will only bother eagle-eyed, over-analytical pricks like me. But those are
small quibbles and pretty insignificant when talking about a flick this damn
good.Sex and horror have always been two great tastes that taste
great together. I mean, is there any more
potent combination than tits and blood?
The “carnally debauched by the beast” trope has always been one of the
most intriguing, but I’ve never seen it handled quite this way before. In a genre where it seems there is
truly nothing new under the sun, Harvest Lake took a classic idea, spun it in
an original direction, and showed me things I have never seen before. That is the highest praise I can possibly
give a film. It is exceptionally well executed;
from the effects to the acting to the impressive visuals. I think you’ll dig it as much as I did. I’m not saying you’re gonna be running to
bang the lake monster necessarily, but for the discerning independent horror
fan, I highly recommend letting Harvest Lake seduce you too. Nathan says check it out.

Friday, July 3, 2015

It's baaaaaaaaaaack. After a long hiatus, the Son of Celluloid returns
with jokes from your favorite horror stars, reviews of Bobby Easley's
films (River Runs Black, X, Boogeyman, and All Sinner's Night), Great
Horror Quotes With Joe's Mom, the music of Calabrese, werewolf on alien
violence, and titties!

Monday, June 22, 2015

I can’t decide if I was in no position or the perfect
position to experience American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore the first
time I saw it. Let me explain.

The setting was Days of the Dead: Atlanta. I was drunk to say the least. That evening, I procured six edibles. Yes, that kind of edibles. Three pot brownies and three pot
caramels. My intent was to space them
out and eat them over the course of the weekend. I ate one immediately, then proceeded to
continue drinking. About 15 minutes
before the screening, I decided to eat another as I found a seat. As I sat down, I noticed a popular
independent horror director sitting in front of me and handed him the other
half of my brownie. I’m not naming
names. I don’t wanna get anyone in
trouble. We’ll just say that his name
rhymes with Madam Ballrant. Anyway, I
reached into my pocket to get another, and all I felt was empty wrappers. It was then that the realization set in. Throughout the course of a couple of hours of
not paying attention and the drunken horror con social butterflying that my
position as the horror scribe of Atlanta affords me, I had eaten all of them. Jason Hoover later referred to it as “hero
dosing.” In other words, I was about to
be FUCKED UP.

As the movie began to run and it all kicked in at once, the
thought “I really hope this is a long flick, ‘cause I’m not gonna be able to
stand up for a while” crossed my mind.
Then, as I saw two women being abducted, I found myself incapable of
doing anything but staring, slack jawed, at the screen. For the next seventy-something minutes, I
couldn’t look away. I don’t think I even
blinked. It was like some Cenobite in
the employ of Unearthed Films had affixed hooked chains to my eyelids,
Clockwork Orange style, and was refusing to allow me even a momentary respite
from the most intense gore I had ever seen being mainlined into my brain.

I am happy to report that after a second viewing in a less
drunk and far less stoned mindset, the movie retains its power.

For those unfamiliar with the Guinea Pig films, it was a
series of seven (well, six and a “worst of”) Japanese ultra-gore films produced
in the 80’s. They became infamous after
being found in a serial killer’s collection.
The apocryphal story of Charlie Sheen seeing Flower of Flesh and Blood
(the second in the series and BOG&G’s spiritual father) and reporting to
the FBI that he’d just seen a real snuff film is one of extreme cinema’s most
beloved tales. Now Stephen Biro, owner
of Unearthed Films and the American
distributor of the Guinea Pig flicks, has undertaken the creation of another
cycle, this one made in the good ol’ US of A.

Simply put, this is probably the most effective gore flick
ever released. What Marcus Koch has
achieved here is a legitimate game changer.
This is a bold statement considering all of the flicks I’ve seen, but I
have never seen gore effects this good before.
The way the skin moves when it’s cut.
The way the instruments catch on the bones. The meticulous cross sections of severed limb
stumps. This is truly the masterwork of a
man at the top of his game. This is
Marcus’ Day of the Dead, if you know what I mean.

One complaint that you’re likely to hear about this film is
that it has no story. Well, yes and
no. There is no story in a traditional
sense. It’s the same as Flower of Flesh
and blood in that the mutilation is the sum of the experience. There is a higher concept and some intriguing
symbolism (I’m still not sure what to make of some of it) if you’re inclined to
look deep between the lines for it, but it’s definitely not out in the
open. The film is primarily concerned
with being a real time chronicle of two women being dissected. That’s it. It’s an exercise in grueling atmosphere and
visuals. It’s an endurance test. Speaking of which, people will say it moves
slowly. Those people missed the damn
point. There’s something either deliciously
transgressive or sadistically nerve-wracking (depending on your perspective) about watching the clothes being
slowly cut off of the ladies for a few minutes before the blood starts to flow. It’s
torturous foreplay. It’s those agonizing
minutes after being sent to your room but before a parent arrives for that
whoopin’. It’s those terrifying three
seconds between stubbing your toe and the pain impulse reaching your brain. The fact that it lingers on every minute
detail forces you to feel rather than watch.

An aspect of filmmaking that is often unjustly overlooked is
sound design. To be honest, there’s not
a hell of a lot of indie flicks whose sound you can say much nice about. The sound design in this one, however, is
superb. As good as both the gore itself
and the grim ambiance are, those aspects on their own wouldn’t shine nearly as
much had the audio been entrusted to lesser hands. Jimmy Screamerclaus takes an already potent
brew and sends it over the top.

Caution: The next paragraph contains a slight spoiler.

One particular aspect of the film’s setup struck me as an
absolute stroke of perverse genius.
Before their ordeal, the women are shot up with a nerve agent and given
several drops from a medicine dropper.
When it is revealed that these drops were LSD, you immediately knew
where the psychonauts in the crowd were by either a gasp or an “OH HELL NO!” In addition to just being a unique and sick
little addition to the proceedings, the real genius of that bit of business is
that it adds a whole new level of identification for anyone in the audience who
has done acid. The camera may, literally
and figuratively, be making the viewer share the gaze of the killers, but
anyone who has ever dosed can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be
tripping on the table. You become trapped
in the headspace of the victims, and it’s a truly harrowing idea.

Something happens at the end of this flick that
caused a tremor in even some of the most hardcore members of the audience that
night. Hell, Madam Ballrant got up and
walked the fuck out. As the audio
residue of that final image continued over the credits, we were left with the
question, “Um, is it ok to applaud? Can
we do that while this is going on?” It
was a sublimely awkward moment. As I
filed out of the room with about two thirds of the people who were there at its
start, I was pretty much silent until after a few shots and a couple of
smokes. AGP:BOG&G is the kind of
flick you have to recover from. Whether
you’re looking for a breath of fresh air in the tired “faux-snuff” sub-genre,
want to test your mettle (or that of your unsuspecting friends) with some
depravity, or just want to marvel at an impressive practical effects
achievement in the age of CGI, American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore is
for you. Those weak of stomach or constitution
need not apply. Nathan says check it
out.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Here it is, Cellmates. The second round of Horror Business Episodes for your streaming and downloading pleasure. Horror Business and its sister show, Missing Link Mixtape, can be heard on alternating Monday nights at 10pm only on The FDTC Network.

Episode 6: Ask SOCWhat do you do when a guest bails on you? You make the mistake of
asking your facebook friends for questions, that's what. We end up
talking about my horror history, which horror starlets I want to do
dirty things to, vampire fights, my former life of crime, ectoplasm as
lube, my theories on the genre, and a ridiculous amount of other stuff.

Episode 8: The Netherspawn With Halloween coming up and haunted attraction season in full swing, I
went to the actors who stalk the halls of Netherworld Haunted House in
Atlanta (my haunt home since 1999) for their best stories about scaring
someone shitless. Time for the monsters to speak

Episode 9: Making The Video The Son of Celluloid and Brad Slaton co-directed a music video for The
Casket Creatures song "Zombie Werewolves From Outer Space." Go check it
out on youtube. Then listen to this roundtable discussion between
Nathan, Brad, and the band about the craziness that went into creating
the video.

We heard from the actors at one of the largest haunts
in the nation, now let's visit the other end of the haunt spectrum.
Eric and Nikki Cotto run a haunt out of their home to raise money for
charity. Hear the story of a family who turns their home into a house
of horrors each year to help the community and for the sheer love of
fear. Also, Brad Slaton drops by to chat Starry Eyes and See No Evil 2.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Here at SOC, we're all about independent everything; independent horror, independent music, independent wrestling, independent variables, independent women, independent clauses, whatever. So, of course, I'm all about Record Store Day. If you don't know what I'm talking about...well, first of all, shame on you. Second, it's a day (specifically the third Saturday of April each year) when bands release special edition vinyls and indie record stores everywhere host events to celebrate the role of the record store. Part of me thinks that maybe, if we had done something like this, maybe we could have saved the video store. Anyway, there are always some cool horror related items every year. In the past these have included things like a 7" with the Misfits version of skulls on the A side and Evan Dando's cover on side B, a glow in the dark Ghostbusters single, a limited to 666 Dracula 1972 / Satanic Rites of Dracula soundtrack, and a truly bad ass Last House on the Left Soundtrack picture disk that I tried like hell to get my hands on. There are hundreds of unique releases of all genres specifically for the event, but I'm gonna focus on the horror tinged ones. Now not every store will get them all, some have very limited print runs, and some will ONLY be available on Record Store Day. So unless you wanna pay a fortune for them on ebay later, I'd suggest that you get there early, grease the right palms, plan strategically, or whatever you have to do to get the ones you want. You can visit www.recordstoreday.com to find participating stores near you and see a full listing of all of the 2015 RSD releases.

There will be a digitally remastered re-release of the 1989 Rocky Horror Picture Show "Time Warp EP"featuring the original, extended, remixed, and karaoke versions of the song.

GWAR, featuring everyone's favorite Scumdog from Adam Greene's closet Oderus Urungus (RIP) will be releasing a remastered vinyl pressing of their best album (in my humble but always accurate opinion) America Must Be Destroyed. It comes with an RSD Exclusivity Certificate and Gor-Gor Pop Up Album Art.

We all know that metal and horror go hand in hand, and the biggest metal release this year is When The Stillness Stops, the first track off of Slayer's upcoming new album. This cool ass picture disc single will also feature a live version of Black Magic recorded at Wacken in 2014.

Leatherface have nothing to do with TCM except the name, but they're a damn good punk band. They'll be releasing a 3 disc box set entitled Razor Blades And Aspirin:1990-1993.

One of the more bizarrereleases this year that I honestly don't know much about is Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom by Nightsatan. They're a band from Finland who apparently made a short film and are releasing the soundtrack on green vinyl with a region free DVD of the film included. This is one of the more limited releases this year, so be on the lookout. Here's the trailer...