The "tic tac" sign is awesome! Good about the new midwife too! I do think it's important to realize that some of your reaction is likely PTSD, it's not the same as dealing with a hormonal imbalance. I've posted here about waking up for weeks after Freya's birth drenched in sweat from dreaming that I was pregnant and/or giving birth again. It wasn't PPD, but fear of reliving a pretty rough event. ((hugs)) and healing vibes. K and I have been talking lots about if we can fit in a baby #2 with my age, Freya's lack of sleep, etc. I feel now that we could *conceivably* do it, but I do still worry that I may get really really freaked out if I were actually pregnant again. Whew.

@pb, I hope you're feeling better now. The way I look at it, even if you are doing just what every parent does, that's still pretty freaking awesome (and hard). I'm not working outside of the house even, and I said today that I felt like my arms may fall off I'm so tired. You are amazing!

That is so sad about E. I hope he keeps being able to articulate these feelings and you're able to get to the root of them. Poor bear. :(

How do people who give their kids baths before bed deal with hair? Lately Kai is falling asleep right after his bath, and even though I towel dry his head, he wakes up with hair that's totally fuzzy in the back and sticking out in every which way in the front. Since it dried that way, it kind of stays like that even after I put some more water on and comb it. I tried blow drying but he won't sit through it for more than a minute. Is there some secret to nice hairdos I'm missing out on?

_________________I'm not asking for utopian dreams...just a little peace in this world. That's a logical thing. - Deee-Lite

How do people who give their kids baths before bed deal with hair? Lately Kai is falling asleep right after his bath, and even though I towel dry his head, he wakes up with hair that's totally fuzzy in the back and sticking out in every which way in the front. Since it dried that way, it kind of stays like that even after I put some more water on and comb it. I tried blow drying but he won't sit through it for more than a minute. Is there some secret to nice hairdos I'm missing out on?

Grey gets crazy knots so I use the Johnson and Johnson no more tangles, it helps to keep his crazy hair under control and gets the tangles out. I looked for a more natural brand since there was all that stuff about J&J last year, but it was so expensive that I just went for it.

We were at the indoor playground at the mall and some dude had a box of Popeye's chicken bits crepe on the bench and Malka opened the box, took a piece, ran away, and started gnawing on it. I chased her and took it and threw it away and she CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED and the dude was like, it's cool, she was hungry. I said, no, she's just opportunistic and wants whatever isn't hers. And then I actually told her, in the hearing of other people, that chicken is not food. That last part might have been overkill.

Does anyone need cloth diaper detergent? I've got a ton of Ruby Moon laundry detergent (https://rubymoonlaundry.com/) that I'm realizing I'm not going to need any time soon, if not ever (god, that sounds depressing.) It works great for dipes and clothes. It's really heavy, so I can't send it out for free, but I'd do it for the cost of shipping. A bag lasts forever - they say one will last a month, but I have a HE washer, and I get an average of 3 months out of a bag. I've got about 10 bags, and I'm happy to ship to multiple mamas. Just let me know!

Heh. You've seen what's happening on my FB page now...lovely woman I know through LLL who after FB friending each other was revealed to be an uber-conservative who happens to be fond of Weston A. Price. Sigh. God forbid we should give our toddlers tofu. Meat! Babies need meat! (and apparently, a fast track to heart disease) Sigh. Another acquaintance not long ago was so bothered by our decision to raise Freya as a vegan that she gave me the "I'm just concerned" lecture about her not getting enough protein. FFS, Freya is 13 months old, is in the highest percentile for height/weight, is walking and talking (a lot!). Clearly, we are starving her and giving her brain damage. Whew..sorry. Just tired of the ignorance sometimes.

I did! I logged off and scrubbed my brain with bleach. Seriously I don't get how otherwise intelligent people buy all the crepe Weston Price and Mercola are selling. Especially because they seem to often argue that medicine isn't independent bc Drs make money off it, while ignoring that WAPF and Mercola both sell their supplements and they sure aren't cheap.

Freya does vegan diets a credit!

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Randomness: I'm in kind of a funk. Husband's on vacation this week, and we haven't gone anywhere really, everyone's been kinda-sorta sick one by one in the last couple weeks and it's been rainy and crummy out, and we'd talked about going to Tahoe but boring story even more boring failed to book anything and didn't really feel like spending money on a vacation when we may be doing some expensive traveling next year..Anyway, he's going back to work in a couple days and I feel like we've squandered this chance...even though vacations don't usually feel like vacations to me when it just means same child-wrangling duties in a more constrained and less childproof space plus constant meals out, you know?

But deployment is coming up, and I'm so not ready for that. There's so much to get ready, and so many random social things that are going to be shoehorned in before it that will eat up the weekends. The last deployment was fine but this will be my first with Violet and there are so many things I feel like I "should" be doing, like recording my husband reading stories and stuff, or it's not going to get done. None of it's necessary, but I feel like I'm failing at Martha Stewart Pre-Deployment 101. The good news is, V is young enough that won't notice I'm doin' it rong. The bad news is, I have no idea how to make sure she remembers her father is part of her life.

I mean, day by day, it'll be fine. We'll get through it. But I feel like I'm failing to prepare everyone for the time as a whole. And that I'm just not ready, haven't braced myself enough. I guess I should focus on the little things, and assume it will all come together from there.

Aw, that does sound rough. I whine bitterly when Brett is out of town for 5 days. You're quite amazing and even if you feel like you're not the Martha Stewart of the Navy, because you're not pre-recording books and handstenciling a life size picture of her Dad on the walls of the house, you're still going to be doing a really tough job. Better not to burn yourself out doing stuff your kid isn't going to care much about anyway.

I hope you can find some fun things to do, and maybe some good support locally to help keep your sanity. When B is away, I schedule at least one playdate a day because otherwise its really tiring for me. I say stock up on all the classes you are interested in and make fun plans to resource yourself leading up to deployment and during it. Its hard enough to just miss your partner without having to then also do all the parenting solo too.

Sending many good thoughts.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Yeah, I don't think I could parent solo for six months. I mean, obviously people figure out how to do it even if they think they can't, but I really think you're a super star.

refinnej, I couldn't help myself, I chimed in on your facebook page. I kind of want to punch people who say that you should feed your infant raw milk. I mean, really. What planet do these people live on?

Oh man, on my mothers group forum they were discussing giving your kids cod liver oil and how fermented cod liver oil is better. Ad how do you get your kids to take it? And how you better not spill it on their clothes cause you'll never get the fishy smell out.

I think taking food to a music class, and then opening it in the middle of class, as the kids are all playing and singing so you can feed your kid is kind of silly. Because then every kid in the class turns around and wants to snack. Its especially lovely if you then start pushing other kids away so you can continue to feed your kid and not share.

But like so much in the mommasphere, it doesn't seem to bother anyone else. I wish there wasn't always so much food at every kiddie event. I don't want to have to carry food to distract Leela to every single thing we do. And also, I'd so much rather she ate a proper lunch or dinner instead of eating random crepe that people bring.

We were at an indoor playspace and the toddlers were just roaming around from mom to mom eating snacks. Yogurt here, crackers there, cheerios here, fruit leathers there, goldfish everywhere. I bring her there to run around and play, not eat! That said, I don't really mind, until a mom is just not willing to give the other kids anything and ends up shoving them away. I have to keep remembering that its not a big deal and that the kids will eventually learn that they have to share some stuff but not others. Ah socialization.

ETA: Oh and LB, we have the same conversations in our mother's group. I just point out that fish oil is very fragile, and goes rancid fast. If your oil smells fishy, its probably rancid and that has been shown to be a carcinogen. I fought the good fight up to a point for flax and vegan DHA, but finally gave up on trying to explain EPA. I have no idea how to get vegan EPAs or if they even matter. Blah nutrition.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Most vegan DHA supplements now also have vegan EPA in them, so there's that. Although research shows that vegans do a better conversion from ALA to DHA/EPA anyway, so your conversion factor seems to be at least a little diet-dependent.

Why would you bring food to a music class? Our music teacher would flip if someone did that.

At what age did you guys start bringing your kids to activities like music class? I don't think we're going to be able to do anything like that until after I graduate and we move and get settled somewhere else, when Scarlett will be about a year old. Did your babies really seem to benefit from classes before that age?

We've been taking Vi to baby gym class (My Gym) since she was about a year old - it includes a lot of free play on different play structures, some songs/dancing, and a quick story or two. It's been *really* recent since she could follow along with the structured stuff at all, or really even not run off in the middle of it. She's 17m now. (but you met Violet around ~9-10 months so you might remember how, uh, active she is.

I think on the whole it's been a good experience for her, and I might've signed her up around 7-8 months if I'd been in a more stable living situation, but I don't think she was in any way harmed by *not* doing it earlier. I just signed her up for music class because for the last month or so she's gotten really into singing and dancing along with whatever music comes on. I'm sure she might've enjoyed it sooner, but the classes aren't cheap and I guess I needed the extra push to sign her up for more stuff. I'm also thinking about doing swim class in the y - actually, I was going to sign up for it but their website's all broken and I am easily discouraged because I hate calling places up with the phone and use any excuse not to. ;)

ETA: My BIL/SIL have been bringing Vi's cousin to gymboree gym class for a few months since he was maybe 6-7 months old, and I think they've been happy with it, but honestly from the videos they post and from my own observations of the crawlers at My Gym's combined class with the younger ones that V sometimes goes to for make-up classes, it seems like the crawling babies don't really get as much out of it as the walkers do.

We started swimming at 9 months and I really thought that was a good fit for her. Our instructor said that if you introduce them to some of the skills before 1 they have a better ability to learn them - like swimming on their backs. And I thought it would be useful for safety - apparently if they get a sense memory of what to do when they fall in (turn and grab the wall), they automatically replicate it in case they fall in. Plus she hated water so a fun water experience was good for her.

We started ASL at about 11 months, and her ability to communicate did so well after that. Our friends started ASL at 7 months and their kid started signing way early, but I don't think that is the norm.

I don't know if we are going to do music class. She loves the singing and the dancing, but we are mostly going to be going there for socializing, and if I can set up enough playdates then we can do that without paying $20 a class. It is really sweet to see them all go crazy and even at todays trial class she met so many of the kids that she knows from our playdates etc and I do like the idea of just having an activity to go to without having to email people to see if they want to get together, and then having people flake on you, change times blahblahblah.

I like her to be in one activity a week, more so that we have one thing that is set up, just not sure which one yet.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

THROW A forking YAM IN THE OVEN ITS forking CHRISTMAS - LisaPunk

Last edited by Tofulish on Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

We didn't sign up for any music classes until this fall...so Ada was around 17 months old. We went to a couple of trial classes when she was younger and she just put the instruments in her mouth and didn't really seem to get much out of it. She was really able to participate and get into everything when we did sign up so I think it was a good time to start for us. And yeah, the classes are pricey around here too and I felt like we had enough other activities to do in the first year between playgroups and then the playgrounds/parks in the summer.

We signed up to start baby swimming this semester, which starts on Saturday. tiny wu is almost 3 months old. (I believe your kid has to be 8 weeks to do this class). She loves taking a bath so much, and is so active and wiggly, that I have high hopes.

Plus I think it's good for her to go places where she hears native speakers speaking Danish. I speak the language but obviously with an accent. Lots of our friends speak Danish to her, and of course she hears it at the doctor, mothers group, etc, but the more the better probably. I recently read that kids learn the sounds of their language by a year, so if you want them to know a Spanish R sound, or a Danish ø or whatever, they have to be exposed to it a lot at that early age, even though language learning skills continue to be strong throughout early childhood.