This blog will cover the collision of two cultures - parents and teen children. They don't understand us, and view us as spoilers or walking ATMs (adults with teen malcontents?) We are left wondering what happened to our cute cuddly kids of a few years back, and when they may return. If ever.

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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Apparently the daughter is having second thoughts about mom and dad being so boring. With only 55 min. left of 2009, she and her friends are sitting on the couch, at a friend's house and bored. Could we run over the fireworks left over from the fourth?

No, actually, we're not getting back out on the road this late at night (just returned from dinner and a movie, which we invited them to, but was declined).

Moooom! No. Sorry, you had your chance to spend the countdown with us. We're not getting back in the car.

That order came from my mother on Sunday, as we gathered to celebrate a belated christmas at her house.

My daughter and I sometimes wrestle and poke and even faux slap at each other, and yes, sometimes throw food at each other, laughing all the while. But it obv. bothered my mom, who told us to knock it off. The final time, I could tell it really did bother her...so we looked at each other and then stopped.

"It really did bother her," jennifer said later. I agree, and I have no idea why. Sometimes my dad and I would wrestle like that, laughing all the while. Until he started using some military style moves on me, where I'd just say forget it, and run.

But we were both laughing all the while. I guess in some ways, mom was not the playful sort.

Monday, December 28, 2009

On Christmas eve, Jennifer insisted on making a last ditch effort to buy the rest of the gifts (I'd banned her from the mall, to no avail) and just as we were leaving, 5 cop cars rush by, a police helicopter starts buzzing overhead as we pick our way into the TJ Maxx parking lot (we were gonig to Trader Joes in Federal WAy).

The police locked down the TJ Maxx and people started coming out of the store with their hands up, and inside, we could see the police, guns drawn at the front of the store, with other officers searching the aisles, and the guys, one by one.

Apparently, 6 kids got in a fight at the food court across the street, ran out through sears and into this store. Eventually they got them all, but not before alot of excitement.

"Why does this always happen to us," says daughter who insisted we go and investigate. The events always happen around us, but never "to" us, thankfully.

We were in the same mall 16 Christmases ago, and Jennifer started to fuss, badly, so we left. 15 minutes later, bullets were flying in the place gary and I were standing.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Three of Jennifer's quite well-off friends are getting beamers for x-mas. One's outside now, showing it to her. I'm about ready to tell her to get herself back inside so we can finish watching West Side Story AND remind her : she's not getting a beamer as her first car. Even if we had the cash, and we don't, I think it's a mistake to give a kid a car where one will fuss over every scratch.

Monday, December 21, 2009

And finally time to decorate the tree. Jennifer's notion of cleaning the living room was throwing all the clothes on our bed. Not quite what I had in mind.

We have the tree in the house, just no lights and the only decorations are stuffed marine-life animals, with an octopus I threw on the top in place of the angel. My family doesn't approve. But as usual, Christmas comes, ready or not, and it turns out alright.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I was running late in picking up Jennifer as usual. And Gary calls - he's headed to safeway, do I need anything. Yes, peanut better..and you're daughter needs some eyeliner - give her a call.

Later I pick up Jennifer - happy that I saved myself a trip to the store for once.

"Mom, don't ask me to do this again. OMG"

"I spent the first 10 minute telling him there were more colors than black and brown and he kept insisting that's all there was in the Top Food cosmetics aisle. Then I finally get him to turn to the right, and he keeps wanting to pick up pink liner or dark blue."

Eventually Gary arrives from the story with electric blue (her choice) and a russet one that i will probably use.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

We went and saw the Rockettes X-mas show at the Paramount last night, and it was great. Typical fare from what we could tell - lots of glitz, santa and high kicks by women with 2 percent body fat and arms that even Michelle Obama would die for.

But the most surprising part of the show was at the end, when they announced they were going to do a tribute to the true spirit of the season and do a living nativity.

No, actually better. All the Rockettes played various parts in the play (tho Joseph looked suspiciously like S. Claus) and they led in Mary on a real donkey. And then sheep. And then when the 3 kings came...real camels. Damn. This is definitely worth the ticket.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

This rush of words surged into my ears just before I left work last night. And of course, I tensed. What exactly was Jennifer going to ask? Unlike what I thought (going out with a boy I'd never met, a new sweater, spending the night somewhere) she had an entirely different request that left me speechless. At the "nos" to the predetermined requests faded.

"I was wondering if Jason could sleep over tonight."

Uhhh.

As a back story to this, I'd heard about Jason before. He's a friend of Jennifer's. Almost b-friend, but then they just decided to be friends. Jennifer's described him as a male version of herself. He's with a foster family now - who from varying reports, sometimes treats him well, sometimes not. His birthmom is a drug addict, in jail, I think and at one time wanted drugs so badly, she gave Jason to the dealers as collateral. Jennifer said he wont' talk about that part of his life. Just that he'd been abused.

Anyway, long story short, his foster family had left for the night (no, she didn't know what left meant) and Jason didn't have a key to the house. All his guy pals, his wrestling coach, everyone, refused him a couch. He was going to spend the night in the park, before Jennifer heard of this plan and said she'd see if he could stay with us.

Great. Now,sleeping in a park at these temps or any temps really was out of the question. Buying him a hotel room was out of the question, and yes, my church in currently hosting Kent's homeless guys in an attempt with other churches to sort of duck the city's stupid zoning laws. But that seemed chickenshit. But the real question, was could he sleep on our couch and come into the home for the night.

*&^^%$. How was I going to tell me daughter, who has seen me insist that the true test of one's faith is how you deal with inconvenient instances, "no" to this. Yet, I'd never met this guy. I was was vaguely wondering..ok, not so vague here... if we'd be safe with a kid that had obviously gone through some horrible experiences in his life. Lock J's door. Hide the knives?Fuckfuckfuck.

"He's not allergic to cats or dogs is he," I ask, with a shameful amount of hope in my voice.

"nope."

OK, fine. He can come, but let me ask your dad first (who is usually the no of last resort). But of course, Gary said yes. That's one of the reasons I married him.

"Wait, you mean his foster family just left him w/o a key?" Gary said.

Well, yes, they did. And no, I dont' know why.

Oh, Jennifer adds on another phone call, he's at a wrestling tourney until 9 pm tonight, could we go pick him up. And he has to be back at the school at 5 am on Saturday, but Jason says he'll walk back to school (yeah, right, an hour walk in freezing cold temps. not likely).

So about 9:30 pm, Jason arrives at the house (he's found a ride from a friend) and promptly talks non-stop about wrestling. Nope, not hungry. Finally about 11 pm, I order them to bed, saying at this point we're all getting 4 hours sleep. He looks at me, surprised. I get the feeling he doesn't get too many orders to turn off the tv and get to bed.

I later realize that he's probably as wary of us, as we might be of him. J told me this morning that he lay away for 2 hours after he flopped on the couch. I also had a renewed appreciation of my hubby's manners, when I almost fell into the toilet this morn, because Jason had left the seat up.

At 4 am, the alarm rings, gary throws on his clothes and warms up the car today. I crawl out of bed, well aware that my hair is standing on end and the sash for my robe is actually a scarf- I can't find the tie. I tell him he's eating b-fast for fuel and make him eggs, 4 strips of bacon and toast, which he wolfs down. Gary makes him drink oj.

Then off they go into the night. Later, Jennifer said that Jason wistfully asked if he could stay over again sometime. He had fun.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

That was tossed my way tonight, as we headed out of Target, where we had just dropped $60 on a hair straightener (her old one died and she just can't live w/o it) and new mascara, since she had used all of mine.

"$10 of your money is going toward that straightener," says I, still griped by the fact that she refused the $19 model for the $35 model she just had to have.

"I never get an allowance anyway," she shot back.

"No, maybe not in $$, but you get it in skirts, in shirts, in sweaters and trinkets that I gladly buy you," says I.

"Not the same," she sniffed.

I pointed out that I could, in annoyed enough, just say "sorry, you've used up your allowance this week, you'll have to wait until next. or give you the $10 each week and from that, you'll have to buy your wish list. Silence.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

This is my daughter grumbling at me this am, as we're both hung over from watching too much tv.

I can usually snap back after one good night's sleep, but not so her.

And as usual, it's my fault, as I didn't tell her to go to bed on time. OK, I'll make note. Next time I'm in bed ,and I still hear that faint hum of the tv on, I'm going to use those words, walk into the tv room, click the set off and order her to bed.

Great evening. And we plan a repeat next year, maybe with sensible shoes this time. And a packet of $1 bills for the homeless, the street musicians, the homeless selling newspapers, $ for the carausel, and money for the homemade donuts and roasted chestnuts (they don't take visa or mastercard).

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I had just advised Jennifer against wearing what she plans to wear to the concert tomorrow, to which she retorted that in fact, she never goes outside, so it doesn't matter what temperature it is. Fine, but we'll still have to go outside to walk store to store. And she's going to freeze. She considers it he price of being fashionable.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm always delighted when Jennifer finds a ride home through a friend, or via a bus route, and I don't have to do the mad dash from PLU to the coffee shop where she sits for a few hours until I can get to her (at least I don't have to worry about day care fines anymore).

But when she casually mentioned last night she had a ride home (great!) but that it was with Ryan (hmm, not so great), I first said fine, but then realized, I hadn't met the guy. And the more I thought about it, the more concerned I became. I'm sure he's totally nice and a good boy, but again, I hadn't met him to take a read, and while I doubt he would zoom down Auburn Way North toward our home at 80 mph, but I didn't know that for sure. He's 17, and has his own car ( this will all go away when J gets her own, sometime next month I hope).

Anyway, back to the ride home. After some thought, and kicking myself, I had to tell her no. If ANYTHING should happen, I would kick myself, and I'd hate to think about the tongue lashing I'd get from my hubby, who is a bit edgy about a boy he does know driving her home.

So I reversed myself, which was worse than saying no in the first place. Needless to say, the ride to school was a bit chilly this am, and it had nothing to do with the freezing temps outside. Even Starbucks didn't warm her up.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I learned that Gary had already said "no", so I wasn't going to countermand that.

But Jennifer's friend Jordan was having knee surgery today, and wanted Jennifer to come with her to the hospital and then home for support. She had already missed some school of late, with doctor's appointments and all, and so Gary put the nix on that. I found out this am and it gave me pause.

It probably took a lot for Jordan to ask that, and she'd asked another friend, whose parents had also said "no." And as for a support system, sometimes I get the feeling it's not necessarily there for Jordan from her parents. The weekend fiasco where Jordan was supposed to go away with us for a weekend at Great Wolf Lodge, only to show up the next day late, because the parents seemed incapable of finding the place, or going down the freeway at 30 mph (we couldn't figure out which), seemed to prove that.

So the next best thing transpired. J's going home with another friend, who lives near jordan's house and they'll walk over together in the pm to cheer her up. But still, I wish Jordan had had a friend to go with her to the hospital.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My daughter had gone home with a friend last night, and about 6 pm, asked me to call her dad (her phone had died), to pick her up later. She and Ashley were in the midst of studying their chemistry homework and didn't want to break the flow.

I was monitoring a memorial services at PLU for the four slain police officers, so I "sure, fine, whatevered" her off the phone, and then dialed Gary. He was just pulling in Ashley's driveway and was in no mood to come back. What he did find when he knocked was that the girls were indeed studying chemistry, but not one she was going to have to pass to get an A in that class. Two boys had dropped by. They were chatting in the living room, and the chemistry books were forgotten in the kitchen.

Gary was so pissed he wanted to ground her and called (again interrupting the prayer service) to see what i thought. I hissed through the phone to ground her if he must, and give her a lecture on lying (if it's boys, say so) but I had to go.

He called back again to say he planned to jerk her chain, pretend she was grounded and then let her off the hook...this time. Fine, whatever..I'm about ready to ground you both or block you if you call again.

Alien Nation

About Me (short version)

This blog will chronicle my journey through the tween and early teen years with my middle school daughter. You'll also be reading posts from other parents, who swear their children have been abducted by aliens, and have returned home..different.

A short synopsis of Barbara Clements. I'm a happily married, South King County mom with one daughter, and hope to someday freelance full-time as a writer for National Geographic. But until then, I have a daughter to raise and get through high school, which she'll hopefully leave in four years with a scholarship, my sanity intact and not pregnant.