Tomorrow, I will see a psychiatrist to get an adjustment in my medications. I have not seen a psychiatrist since December, when my old doctor's office got shut down due to it losing all of the state's funding that supported it. Apparently, mental health services are an easy target when it comes to politicians who want to cut state spending, but that's a topic for another blog.

I spent most of today at the local ER. Some friends suggested I went there, for the way I talked was scaring them more than it was scaring myself. I really did not want to die - but seriously, living the way I have been is no longer an option for me.

While I was at the ER, they also discovered I had a serious case of hypertension. Geez, I'm not surprised, but could they have picked a less stressful time for me to discover that?

Yeah, I am sorry if I worried anybody here. I am in so much pain...... but there are better ways to deal with it than to run away into oblivion, although those take some effort and they can be pretty painful in their own right. Heh.

Life can suck badly. Life lived from inside your head can suck in a unique and lonely way.

These things happen ... I am pulling out of a death-spiral, myself, so I'm not sure what more I can really contribute here... But your friends love and care about you. That much is true; they're not just saying that.

heh, I could have diagnosed you with hypertension from here! *big hugs* I know you're going through a lot lately and the whole mom day BS most likely exasperated it.
About psych getting cut, yes it's very easy to balance budgets by cutting these services, but it should make sense why the prison population is out of control.
I hope the adjustment in meds helps. Do they help you out or are they more like a band-aid? Have they gotten you a therapist to talk to? Do you have a therapist to talk to?

I have a therapist to talk to, but no psychiatrist to manage my medications. The guy I saw today turned out to not be able to take me as a patient because my only insurance is Medicare. He did, however, give me a long list of people who might take Medicare. I called half the numbers today, without any luck. Worst comes to worst, I'll start asking around for a psychiatrist who offers a sliding scale fee system.