Is It Foolish to Marry Someone I Know Will Die Soon?

I want to get married, but the woman I love has a chronic illness. It's getting worse and worse. Some family members tell me I shouldn't commit myself to her, but I believe that God is calling me to serve her in this way. Is it foolish to marry someone I know will die soon?

Is it foolish? No. It's not foolish. Not if all of the other things are in place, OK? Any marriage could be foolish, but this isn't the main reason that a marriage would be foolish.

Marrying an unbeliever would be foolish. Marrying when you're totally incompatible theologically would be foolish. Marrying when you're immature and you don't have resources would be foolish. There are a lot of reasons why marriage would be foolish. But loving a person who is dying is not one of them, I don't think, especially since you are free to remarry when a spouse dies.

Now, I'm sure the person asking this isn't thinking that way, like, "O, I'll marry again in three years after they're dead." That's not the way they're thinking! They're thinking, "I love this person. I want to live with this person. And I want to care for this person!" And I think that is beautiful.

So, I did the wedding of a man who was dying of leukemia. And the marriage was less than a year. Everybody knew it would be less than a year. It was very awesome. She was beautiful. He was handsome. And 9 months later he was dead. And that was the plan.

I know another situation where a woman—and she'll watch this probably—married a man with AIDS who had conquered in his soul his homosexual inclinations. That lasted about 6 years, maybe, and then he died. And that was beautiful.

I know it must be very painful for parents to look at this and think, "Don't you realize how much pain this is going to bring into your life?" But what else is new, right, about life and about marriage?

So I would say that's not the main issue here. The main issue is, Are you able—theologically, personally, and resource-wise—to be harmoniously, sweetly, and deeply in love with Jesus together in this marriage?

John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books.

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