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You can’t blame other people for how you show up. That is rank immaturity. That is what keeps us babies. Graham Cooke

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You can’t blame other people for how you show up. That is rank immaturity. That is what keeps us babies. You can’t say, “Well, you made me do it! You made me say it!”
No, it was already in you. They just brought it to the surface, and maybe God brought them into your life just to let you know this is an area which it will be really helpful if you grew up in. Please!
How many times have you switched companies, got new friends, moved to a new town, went to a new church, and the same thing started up? Possibly there is one common denominator, and that common denominator just might have your initials! You can go to a different country. Before your plane has even got to the gate, the Lord has arranged that the person who is meeting you at the airport brings out something in you!
You know what? You can’t escape this because this is a huge part of the goodness of God. His intentionality is to make you like Him. He’s kind of thinking, “Dude, if I’ve got to love all these difficult people, you think I’m letting you off the hook? If I’m making you like Me, you have to see these people the way I see them.”
It is phenomenally easy to see the negative in people. It is not a spiritual gift! There is not third book of Corinthians chapter 12. It’s not a spiritual gift, seeing the negative in people. If God does show you a negative about somebody, it’s because He wants you to understand their pain and their struggle. That’s a privilege! If you just go around to people and you start saying to people the negative thing that you see, someone is going to get slapped and it’s not going to be them. When God shows you a negative, He is saying to you, “Look, I want you to understand what they are going through. I want you to understand their struggle. I want you to understand their self-hatred, why they can’t love themselves, and why it might be difficult for them to love other people. I need you to see that, and then I want to give you some compassion, and mercy, and grace, and kindness, and patience, and love, and gentleness, and then I want you to say something. When your heart is touched, then I want you to say something that brings a release to that person.”
– This excerpt is from Perfecting the Art Of Bouncing Back, available now:Perfecting the Art of Bouncing Back