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Thursday, February 13, 2014

Top, bottom; gay, BDSM

I just finished re-writing a scene for
"Skipping Down the Primrose Path: Book Three." Wonder why I
rewrote it? Well there were lots of reasons really. I realized that I
hadn't adequately dealt with issues of consent, that I hadn't given a
believable amount of preparation for an anal virgin's first time.
There was also the fact that this scene is in The Queen's POV and I
wanted to share some of his thoughts, show sides of him that Vala
wouldn't necessarily see as his slave.

But as I was reading the beginning of
the scene, I realized one extreme flaw in my perspective reading this
scene. The words top and bottom are used by both the gay (especially
male) culture and the BDSM community; according to this Wikipedia article on the subject, it's thought that in terms of
BDSM culture that it's loan word from the gay culture. The Queen is a
BDSM top as is Prince Synn. In terms of the sex that The Queen has
with his male slaves, he is both a BDSM and a gay top- meaning that
he is the sexual partner doing the penetrating. My problem in writing
the scene came with Synn; in my head, I pictured him as a bottom,
from both cultural perspectives. However, being a bottom in gay
culture doesn't necessarily mean "submissive"- it just
means being the one who receives penetration.

So in the re-write, I made Synn a more
active participant :D Please enjoy this little lightly edited snippet :)

"If you want it to stop at any time
just tell me," The Queen said as he closed his bedroom door and
returned to the bed. He pressed Synn down onto the bed and sat next
to him.

"No safe word?" Synn joked.

"Do you want one?" The Queen
traced Synn's lips with a finger. "Is this BDSM? Two friends
enjoying sex?"

Synn pressed a kiss against the finger.
"Uh, enjoying sex?"

The Queen arched his eyebrow.

"Vanilla. At least to start."
Synn drew in a deep breath and then slowly released it. "Stop's
enough. For now."

2 comments:

Interesting intro Joelle, I hadn't really thought and the meaning of the terms top and bottom on the BDSM and Gay cultures. I can understand this posing challenges for an author in scenes where the two combine.

thanks for the comment, Roz. The silly thing is, I already knew this, of how both cultures use the words, sometimes with similar meanings but not always. But yes, I wound up with a longer, more descriptive scene in part because I remembered this simple fact. It was just so difficult with the different pieces of these men's identities.

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Copyright and Age Notice

All blog posts, short stories, excerpts from stories are copywritten to Joelle Casteel- unless otherwise noted. Please refrain from sharing without proper credit.

I realize, especially now that I'm playing with ageplay more, I'm going to say it, as if it needs saying, but all characters having sex or BDSM activity on my site are chronologically 18 years of age or older.

How I see things...

Very often I find my perspective is rather different than other people's, whether they be fellow blog hoppers or just people in general. My stories aren't heterosexual, even if I just show a man and a woman engaged in some interaction. "Sex" to me isn't just "penis goes into vagina." My focus, in life and in writing, is polyamorous and pansexual. Gender and sexual orientations and presentations are individual to the character being presented. Behavior also doesn't predict or determine gender or sexuality- I may look like a heterosexual, monogamously married woman, but I'm queer and polyamorous. What is humiliating to one person isn't necessarily humiliating. We all need to learn to look past taboos and to understand the human interaction in any kink. Naming, especially when a person takes a new name because of some factor in her/his/hir life, is a sacred thing. Yes, between The Queen's legs are a penis and testicles, but The Queen is still his name- the fact that a queen is usually a female does not matter nor determine his sexuality.