Battle Me – A Trilogy

Battle Me – A Trilogy

Photo: Mark Kenny – The Goddess Whisperer

Here’s a poem I wrote about oh so many of my inner battles – my ‘growing pains’ – attempts of disavowing the real ‘me’ in order to fit in with what I had deemed was society’s ‘standard’ – for how a woman should ‘be’.

Now I know – the sheer drive to ‘fit in’ was actually my own self-imposed battefield! The war of which I need fight only if I choose. No. Now I hack society’s ways to fit in with me, I no longer hack at myself to fit in with it! Because thing is, who’s battle is it anyway? No-one’s but yours! So why suffer at the hands of all your ‘shoulds’, when you can bask in the delights of all your ‘I ams’…

I: The Maiden Battles

All my life
I fought with Me
The silly girl
Who would not see.

First came Battle Intelligence.
I shunned it away!
Asking “what am I to do
With You every day?!”

And yet it held its ground
It fought with all its might.
I had to let it win
Exhausted of the fight.

Now together as a river
We bring life to barren lands
Across parched embers
Muddening the sands.

Then came Battle Beauty.
I said “please go away.
I now have Intelligence
With You I lose my say.”

But Beauty fought so well
It smirked in its stance
Whispering in delight
“May I have this dance?”

Now together yes we tango
A simple timeless piece
With multiple dimensions
Divinity released.

Then came Battle Bionic.
I said “No. Now go.
With Beauty and Intelligence
You ruin the show.”

“But your Spirit I must house
And how to house it well?
If you ignore the gift of me
Your Spirit can not dwell.”

So in came the Bionic.
The Vehicle of my soul.
And now we all live
Together, we are whole.

II: The Woman Battles

Then came Battle Wisdom.
I said “Haha. No way.
Where would You fit
Spoiling my hooray.”

And yet the Wisdom forged ahead
With stamina and won.
And now we dwell in harmony
A gift born of One.

Then came Battle Knowing.
I said “Now what are you?
You Know from the inside
Yet I haven’t got a clue.”

But the Knowing would not go.
It stood firmly in its place,
Lodged deeply in my core,
Leaving doubt without its space.

So in came the Knowing
Exhausted yes it’s true.
But what is worth more,
Than what you always Knew?

Then came Battle Empath.
Oh boy what a pain!
And here I saw the path,
The path of the insane.

“I can not connect so deeply
With others every day.”
“Oh come now, you fool,
I’ll show you the way.”

So there I had my troop
The misfit traits of shame.
No longer was I safe
I’d left the shores of same.

And together we set sail
Happily combined
The final battle over
Rest was ours assigned.

“Hold on” shouted Knowing
“A tsunami’s up ahead!”
“A what?” I shouted weakly,
From the bottom of the bed.

And there was Battle Grief.
Roaring loudly in its stead
A tsunami of desolation
Filling me with dread.

“Now go away!” I pounded.
“You have no place in me!”
“Oh please, your fight is over,
I am the roots of your Tree!”

So Grief dwelled in my heart
A chrysalis cocooned.
Until it was ready,
We were all marooned.

III: The High Priestess Battles

Then came Battle Magic.
“Oh no, now please go.”
A woman who knows Magic
Is doomed. One fateful blow.

“Oh come now, you old fool.
I see my place in thee
With your Wisdom and Intelligence
We’ll find new ways to See.”

So I conceded my defeat
Thirsty for the lens
Birthing Creativity:
Restlessness made amends.

Then came Battle Light.
The Light of my Soul.
“No way! You’re too bright.
This dimmer is my goal.”

“Oh come now don’t be daft.
I will shine for all to see.
With the Magic and the Empath
Do not attempt to flee.”

So in came the Light.
And together we did bask;
Drinking wonders of creation,
From our Magic flask.

The final battle ensued
The toughest of them all
Here came Battle Love
Mmm. Time to have a ball.

Love beckoned and it gnawed.
It would not let me be,
It’s weapon sheer emptiness
Bombarding me with glee.

Fighting became fruitless
I could fight no more.
The emptiness filled my days
And during the night it ROARED!

So I had to let love in
Just for a little while
Oh, but it brought a visitor:
With Passion Love would beguile.

A forceful flaming Warrior
A foreign one indeed!
This Passion such a dictator
Demanding: “You take heed!”

Ooohh! I should have known to leave love out
Not concede to it at all.
Now I have this Passion
A whirring, flaming fire-ball.

With Anger, Passion’s twin
What was I to do?
I had to let Love ALL in
For Knowing gave my cue.

Now I Know my Foes are Me
And together we must flow.
Battle Me has ceased to be
Leaving Me to glow.