Grammar Police

Since I am a teacher, my husband likes to accuse me of constantly correcting him. Which I don’t. At least, I don’t mean to. And since I know how much it annoys him, I try to keep from correcting him unless it’s important, like something he’s asked me to proofread for work. But sometimes, no matter how hard I try (or before it occurs to me to try) I can’t help myself. I firmly believe that sometimes he does it on purpose to bait me. My son has the same problem with his sister. He is very grounded in reality and things are very black and white to him. His sister, not so much. Even when she could agree with him, she won’t. He can’t stand it when she won’t give in when he knows he’s right. I try to tell him that sometimes it has to be enough that you know you’re right. Which is a lesson many adults could learn, by the way. Anyway, when I do correct my husband, it probably doesn’t have as much to do with the fact that I am a teacher as that I am a firstborn and therefore pretty much always right. It’s true. Just ask my younger siblings.

Not so much a rollback!

The point is, while it may be part of my job to help children learn to speak and write correctly, I don’t go around correcting people in everyday life. Do I correct my children? Yes, but that is also my job. Do I notice when people make mistakes? Sometimes. But it’s not something I dwell on…on which I dwell…whatever. (I bought a teacher friend of mine the book I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar. She loooved it because she does!) My point is, nobody’s perfect, not even (sigh) me. Especially when writing. I tend to write in a conversational style, the way I would tell the story if I were speaking out loud. I love to write ridiculously long, run-on sentences. Even worse, I have a hard time editing myself because I tend to read things the way they should be instead of the way they are.

The only time I really get bothered about spelling errors or improper grammar (outside of school) is when they are made by people who should know better, in a professional setting. I read an article about a 24-car pile up, and it kept referring to the ‘wreak.’ “The wreak blocked the highway for hours.” “A driver involved in the wreak…” Aaaarrrggghhh! It was a wreck. W-R-E-C-K, wreck! The wreck wreaked havoc on rush hour traffic. I drove past Burger King one day and the sign out front said they were the home of the ‘Whoper.’ Uh, that’s two p’s, boys. Those who have been paid to put words on paper should be held to a higher standard! On the morning news shows, sometimes the crawl across the bottom is riddled with errors–spelling, subject/verb agreement, and so on. That drives me nuts. When those whose professional job it is, who supposedly went to school to study such things, are making these kinds of errors, it seems to make it okay for everyone else.

We all know that the popularity of texting and facebook (not to mention auto-correct, which usually isn’t) has not helped improve the writing skills of the general population. It’s faster and easier to use a shorthand. My husband’s favorite is to just reply ‘K’ when I send him a message. Someone mentioned the other day that ‘K’ is a particular pet peeve of theirs. (Mental note: Don’t text ‘K’ to Marie!) I do it too, and my sister and I have all kinds of stock responses–a simple ‘Dude,’ with varying amounts of u’s, is an appropriate response to any number of statements. But even on facebook, I can’t help fixing my own mistakes before posting. I’ve even deleted a post and retyped it if I noticed a mistake after I posted. There was one time where I made a mistake, corrected it, and then, because it was so funny, I changed it back. My sister and I continued to crack ourselves up, and even entertained a few others along the way. It was so funny I even copied and saved the conversation so I could read it again later.

And now, here it is for you. The players: Colleen is me, Shannon is my sister, and Bonnie and Brandi are ladies from church. Brandi is near the age of me and my sister (my sister and myself?), and Bonnie is closer to my mom’s age. I said when I started this blog that if I told stories on others, I’d tell just as many on myself, so I feel like I should point out that toward the end of the thread, I correct my sister. Enjoy! 😉

Shannon: Any day with a DQ blizzard is a good day 😉
Brandi: i love dq waaay too much. their arctic rushes are good too.
Shannon: Nah, gotta have my chocolate!
Colleen: S likes the “little footlongs.” Um, that would be a regular hotdog, homey.
Shannon: “Homey?” Just who do u think u r anyway?
Colleen: I mean honey, I don’t call her homey. (I was going to correct my original post, but it just struck me too funny. In fact, I’m still laughing!!)
Colleen: Yep, still laughing…..
Shannon; Me too homey!
Colleen: Now laughing and crying…not very ghetto of me!
Shannon: Yo yo yo!
Colleen: Someone’s going to only see the last few messages and wonder what in the world they have to do with DQ!
Shannon: True, but that’s okay. It is still hilarious to us 😉
Bonnie: no the pecan buster parfaits are to die for…yum yum.love to see u sisters bantering back & forth,reminds me of me & my sisters 🙂
Shannon: U should catch our live show sometime ;P
Colleen: It’s nice that we can entertain someone other than ourselves! I hope it means we’re not completely crazy!
Shannon: O don’t fool yourself – we r absolutely without a doubt completely bonkers!
Bonnie: yes u r,both of u…
Shannon: Takes one to know one 😉
Colleen: Just put the kids to bed, came back and read the thread again…still funny!
Bonnie: ha….
Bonnie: you two r like the energizer bunny..u keep going,going,going:)
Shannon: And all this from a simple DQ comment!
Shannon: Talk about a conversation starter!
Colleen: fo shizzle!
Shannon: Now that’s just whack!
Colleen: I think it’s “wack.”
Shannon: My bad, homey!
Brandi: lol so this is why my little red notification button said 23 new items this morning lol. all of this banter lol. i must admit, when i saw colleen say homey my first thought was that she was a lot different on fb than in person haha couldn’t picture her calling people homey. thx for the smiles before 8am.
Colleen: It’s like that song…I’m so much cooler on-line! ha ha
Shannon: So glad we could entertain others with our silliness!