Pringles Extreme Screamin’ Dill Pickle

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in an M.C. Escher painting, running through endless corridors of waterfalls and weird shit only to end up in the same place. This might be because I browse the shopping aisles after taking a tab of acid, but it’s more likely that I’m just running into the same lazy promotions. Oh boy, another company gone “extreme” to spice up my life. I’ve grown weary of writing “extreme” jokes every other review, so if this is their intention, they have turned me into a beaten man.

Luckily, there is more to this damnation of cardboard tube than a stupid name, and believe me, it is a very stupid name. “Screamin’ Dill Pickle” was actually slang for gonorrhea where I grew up. It brought back some bad memories when I saw this on the shelves. Pickle flavoring on Pringles scared the shit out of me. I absolutely hate it when I get pickle juice on my fries, so pickle flavoring on Pringles would probably be that much worse.

I should probably explain Pringles to the uninitiated. Pringles are for small children who enjoy the novelty of eating stackable chips and stoners who like making those Pringles lips as seen in the commercials. If potato chips were steak, then Pringles would be mechanically separated beef. That’s because Pringles are “potato crisps” that are made from a potato-based dough not unlike your favorite instant mashed potatoes. While this does wonders for their ability to be neatly stacked into tubes, it doesn’t keep Pringles from tasting like salty paper.

While I figured that I probably wouldn’t enjoy this, I was still willing to give it a shot. I figured that the pickle flavoring would be mild at best. I also enjoy partaking in a crispy pickle spear fresh from the jar every once in a while, so I figured that I was prepared for some mighty picklage. However, you readers should know by now that I judge about as well as Lance Ito.

This is either the best thing ever or a nauseating abomination depending on your level of sanity. I don’t know how they did it, but it actually tastes more pickley than a pickle. It pretty much tastes like a McDonalds pickle if you were to take a swig of the juice right after consumption and then had someone kick you right in the nuts.

An informal taste test among a few friends confirmed that it is indeed disgusting, even for pickle lovers. The smell of it is also unsettlingly pungent. Just opening the tube around people leads to many audible complaints, escalating into violent threats after an extended period of time. If you ever sense the pleasurable aroma of pickles at your house, donâ€™t be alarmed. Itâ€™s just me opening my Pringles and wondering if these extreme companies will ever let me go shopping sober again.

Item: Pringles Extreme Screamin’ Dill PicklePrice: 99 centsPurchased at: Stater Bros.Rating: 2 out of 10Pros: Very, very, very pickley if youâ€™re into that sort of thing. Tube is sturdy and plastic cap fits well. May be able to fit some small tennis balls in there.Cons: Just one chip tastes like ten concentrated pickle slices. The smell is ridiculously strong and literally nauseating. People who make Pringles lips. Pringles kind of suck compared to real potato chips. Companies that are too lazy to name their products anything other than Extreme.

I can’t take any company seriously that uses “Extreme” in their product name, especially since it’s not 1998 anymore. All I can think of when I see that is the convenience store scene from Harold & Kumar go to White Castle.

I don’t even like pickle-flavored regular potato chips; I can’t imagine these could possibly be any better. Now, KETCHUP chips on the other hand….

1. I totally H-A-T-E it when I get the pickle juice on my fries. That’s so nasty.

2. I also H-A-T-E it when companies use the word “extreme” in a marketing campaign. Whatever does that word mean, anyways? Is it extremely good? Usually not. Is it for people who live an extreme lifestyle, and like…bungie jump to work every morning? I mean, honestly. It’s a ridiculous notion. I think it’s supposed to appeal to young people…but in the end, I think it mostly annoys and alienates them.

Best review yet, Ace– made me laugh and wince at the grossness of the IDEA of those Pringles. Yuck! And I’m one of those weird people who like eating french fries and pickes together… but still. Artificial pickle flavor that tastes like 10 pickle slices in one? GAG.

I’m so glad you reviewed this! I’d left a comment somewhere on the site begging someone to try them for me after staring at them in fascination for about 15 minutes at Walgreens. My thought process went somewhat like this: “EEEW. That sounds disgusting. Urgh. The graphics don’t make it look any better. Hmm. Anything that unattractively packed and gross sounding can’t be that bad, or they’d never make it, right? Maybe I should get them… No, maybe it’ll be better to buy that new mascara drew barrymore is hawking. Hmmm. Pickle pringles. Sounds gross… Wish I knew what they were like.” So, thank you so much for taking that pickle bullet for me!

Now that I haven’t passed out from laughing about pickled
gonorrhea. Bring em’ on! I’m the guy who drinks the pickle juice after the jar is empty. Why? Cuz some kid when I was little told me his grandfather said that it would put hair on your chest. Now in my late thirties with count em’ 10 chest hairs. I realize that old people have their own sick forms of revenge. Laugh at me from heaven grandpa ..LAUGH!!! Laugh at everytime I buy a jar of pickles I actually begin salivating before I open them. Laugh at my ten chest hairs, and that your secret was obviously a way to stunt my puberty. Well when my balls drops and my voice changes so people stop calling me mam on the phone, I gonna kill myself, go to heaven and kick your ass grandpa!!! But until then I guess I’ll just have to try some of them chips…ahhh “crisps”.

Marvo – I would be, but instead of food humor and puns, my parody songs mostly consist of dick jokes and sex sounds.

bj – I haven’t had other pickle chips, so I can’t comment, but I don’t think many people would enjoy this.

liz – No, but I sure hope the Jones Soda isn’t reading this because I don’t want them to get any ideas.

Red Icculus – Yes, their phallic nature is rather threatening.

Aly – I almost signed up for a Potato Chip of the Month club once because I saw they had ketchup chips. Then I realized that I couldn’t afford $10 per bag of chip.

Nevis – 1. TRUTH. 2. It also confuses me, because I’m pretty sure people into hiking and extreme activities like trail mix and freeze-dried foodstuffs. I’m guessing it’s for skateboarding children with ADD.

Shannon – I actually hope you like it. I mean…I’m guessing somebody has to like it, it did go through testing, right?

Chuck – There are so many good habanero-flavored kettle chips that I wouldn’t be too thrilled. Pringles has to invent new peppers or drill the ocean for nectar like the company in Cloverfield to win me over again.

Ted – For an Asian person, not very often. There are like 50 around here though(live next to Little Saigon) so I should probably go looking for weird crap sometime.