Gary Delaney talks jokes, jokes and more jokes ahead of show

Gary Delaney talks jokes, jokes and more jokes ahead of show at The Potters Arms

There’s Something About Gary and it is that he likes to write and perform jokes, an awful lot of them, which you can tell by his gag-laden Twitter feed.

Gary’s last tour was extended four times and took in over 240 dates. His current tour, There’s Something About Gary, will once again showcase exactly why he is seen as the premier gagsmith of his generation.

Through Twitter and TV he’s become one of the most quotable comedians in the country. He loves each and every gag; he’s like a cheeky schoolboy who can barely hide his glee with each and every punchline.

Here he discusses all of the jokes with us:

Where did your grow up?

Solihull. We're the only people in the whole country who lie and say we're from Birmingham in an attempt to sound more interesting.

Who were your favourite comedians growing up?

Kenny Everett, Cannon and Ball, Les Dennis and Dustin Gee; and Graham Griffin who accidentally did a poo in the playground when he was 5 years old and carried it with him for 20 years. The story, not the actual poo, though to be fair I didn't check.

How did you get into it?

I was always keen to do stand-up but never had the confidence. I didn't know at that time that funny people are very rarely loud and confident. I used to organise conferences for a living and go to a lot of comedy on my own to watch. An old college buddy of mine (Martin Lewis, the Money Saving Expert guy off the telly) dabbled in stand up mid 90's.

I helped him write jokes. I wrote him one about nurses (too rude to print here) and said 'Do this, it's great'. He did. It didn't work. I said 'You're doing it wrong”, he said 'Do it yourself then!'

Then one night in the pub he bet me twenty quid that I wouldn't have the balls to do a gig myself. So I did. I never got the money though as we'd agreed a deadline of six weeks, and it took me seven weeks to get a gig. Money Saving even then you see! The gig went well and my life changed.

Describe your comedy?

Jokes. Lots of jokes. No stories, no tedious politics or opinions, no sad and sensitive bit in the middle. Plus quite a few pictures, which are also really jokes.

Where do you find inspiration?

Mostly from listening to the idiots who phone talk radio late at nights, also from generally being a bit of a smart arse. Usually when people are talking to me I’m not really listening to what they’re saying, I’m picking apart how they said it to look for gag potential.

Do you have a particular writing process?

Most one-liners are reverse engineered, and start with something you hear. I hear an everyday phrases and think “I could muck about with that'. I'll give you an example: We've just got a little dog. It was my turn to walk him. As I was leaving the house the wife reminded me 'Don't forget poobags'. Talking casually gives you more leeway for jokes.

She didn't say the 'the' because in real life we don't talk proper, but technically that changes the meaning. The poobags is a noun. Poobags is a proper noun, with a capital P. So now it sounds like someone's name. Or nickname. Hence it became this joke.

I went round Granddad's to walk his dog. As I was leaving he said 'Don't forget poobags!' I was like 'Alright, GRAN! You can come as well'.

What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?

I sometimes laugh on stage (very unprofessional but I'm enjoying myself). This was probably the gig that made me laugh the most: I was doing a summer afternoon gig in a big tent for a load of hairy bikers. It was going really well. Then about 20 minutes in it went ballistic. I was getting the biggest laughs and cheers ever, the crowd were on their feet. I thought I was a genius and had finally discovered the secret of comedy. I hadn’t….

...the sunlight was bright on the tent wall behind me. Unknown to me a drunken biker had slipped out of the gig and, seeing the queue for the portaloo, had craftily popped round the back of the tent to relieve himself. He didn’t realise that with the sun behind him he was making the perfect shadow puppet of a weeing man on the canvas right behind me. If you’ve ever seen the Mannekin Pis in Brussels it was like that, but 6'2 with a beard and leather jacket.

Still well done to him, he nailed that gig, in fact I think he’s going to be on the next series of Britain’s Got Talent.

Can you tell me your funniest joke?

No, I've got tickets to sell. Come and see the show. Here's a couple of my favourites from the last show are (that are clean enough to print).

The Doctor told me to lose some weight, I said 'How?’. He said 'Don't eat anything fatty', I said 'What? Pies? Chips? That sort of thing?'. He said 'No, just don't eat anything fatty'.

I took a poll recently and 100% of people were quite annoyed their tent had fallen down.

If you weren’t doing comedy, what would you be doing?

I'd be the funny one in the office. Or the annoying one in the office depending on your point of view. Chandler basically.

What is the worst a show has gone?

I once did a gig in English to a crowd in Berlin who, I was assured, had excellent English. They did indeed speak English but not well enough to grasp the subtleties of wordplay. I got fewer laughs than the German comics, which is really saying something. Still at least I can now proudly say that, like my Grandad, I have also bombed in Germany.

You write a lot for other comedians and shows, how does it differ to writing for yourself?

I keep all the best ones for me. Unless anyone I write for is reading this, in which case I keep them all for you.

You are married to comedian Sarah Millican, is it a joke a minute at home?

About one an hour, we take it in turns. We do a laugh a lot at home, but it's not usually because we're trying out jokes, it's usually because of normal domestic stuff like the dog farting along with the Eastenders theme tune.

Do you ever get competitive?

No, I'm the best at not doing that.

How old are you?

43, so nearly old enough to play a teenager in Grease.

Where do you live now?

In a nice quiet house in the country with two cats, a dog and a wife. I'm currently writing my answers to these questions in the garden.

You can hear his gags at The Potters Arms, Fagnall Lane, Winchmore Hill, Thursday, September 22, ticket price includes food during the interval. Details: 01494 726222

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