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Monday, 7 October 2013

The Book House-Bunny

Today we have Kate entering 'The Book House'

Ooh, I’m going into the Big Book House! Emma Willis is waiting to let me in, the paps are snapping away as I pout in as seductive a manner as I can manage and I say my thanks to Kirsty for supporting my blog and allowing me to guest on hers. Finally the doors swing open and I’m in. I’m baffled and delighted to be met by six fabulous characters from books I have read.

Firstly, I spy an astute gentleman surveying the other housemates. Standing in the shadows hiding beneath the brow of his deerstalker hat it takes a moment before I recognise him as Sherlock Holmes. I am immediately wary. Holmes is known for his sharp mind and no nonsense manner. As he looks me up and down I fear his assessment of my appearance.

Next I see a glamorous lady dressed in cleancut, crisp 1950s clothing. Mirabelle Bevan from Sara Sheridan’s books Brighton Belle and London Calling glances over giving me a wry, knowing smile. Inquisitive and charming Mirabelle is the kind of woman that women want to be and men want to be with.

Charlie Bucket, best known for inheriting Willy Wonka’s world famous chocolate factory is the youngest housemate. Perched on the end of a chair he looks slightly nervous, probably missing his ‘safety blanket’ Grandpa Joe.

Rebecca Bloomwood, Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic is the next character I clock. I’m immediately suspicious of her. I’m always wary of women who believe happiness can be bought.

Finally Edward Rochester, handsome and suave, dark and brooding seems to be staring straight through me, eyes glassy and cold. Previously known for his hard heart in the novel Jane Eyre I have always found him alluring and my heart skips a beat.

Ditzy Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter series has been let out of the loonybin and into the Big Brother house. Dreamily dancing she has a dopey smile on her face that makes me think she is high as the proverbial kite.

I wonder how things will progress….

Fast forward to the end of week one and nominations. As I recline into the oversize chair in the diary room I have already decided who will be the first to go. Rebecca Bloomwood is my immediate nomination. The value she places on material objects doesn’t sit well with me, and her incessant chatter about shopping is boring me to tears. Bye bye Becky…

Week two and I can tell that Charlie is ready to go. I compassionately send him off with my best wishes and my postal address so that he can send me regular complimentary boxes of Wonka Bars.

By week three I am driven insane by Sherlock Holmes constant riddles, and although his elusive nature makes it hard to really judge his character I decide he has to go.

Week four and we are all exhausted after the latest challenge. We have had to walk on a treadmill all week, if it were left unattended at any point over the seven days we would have to live on basic rations. Unfortunately Luna fell asleep on an overnight stint meaning we failed the task, so for that reason alone she has to go, despite the fact she is entertaining and caring.

The final week comes and there is just me, Mirabelle Bevan and Edward Rochester left. Mirabelle is an attractive lady, great company and has some wonderful stories to share about the mysteries she has uncovered. Yet Edward Rochester and his alluring ways have enchanted me and I long to have a chance to remain in the house with him alone, so with a heavy yet rapidly beating heart Mirabelle carries her round white suitcase up the steps and out into the real world.

So. The moment has come. Mr Rochester and I are finally alone. I am blinded by love and the thudding of my heart must be audible to everyone watching on TV. Yet I am scared to tell him how I feel, fearful of the dismissive comments that I know he is capable of and unsure of why someone with his stunning looks and confident nature would be interested in me. I spend the majority of the final day in the house stealing glances at his chiselled face as he continues to look straight through me.