Sunday, January 27, 2013

Lori's Essential Life List Rules and Theories

1. Everyone has an Uncle John.

2. You either like John Travolta or you like George Clooney. Maybe neither. But never both.

3. Ladies: If your dad or equivalent had facial hair, you'll be attracted to men with facial hair. Gentlemen: To a lesser extent, if your mother or equivalent had long hair, you'll be attracted to long hair.

4. Deciding between 'who' and 'whom' is easy. Just take your sentence, replace the who/whom with the word 'him'. If it sounds right with 'him', it is 'whom'. If it sounds wrong, it is 'who'. I call it the 'M' rule. (Sometimes the sentence will need to be restructured to make it work, but if restructured correctly, the 'M' rule will still work.)

5. Likewise, if you are going to say something about somebody else, first replace their name with yours. If it sounds right with your name, it is okay. If it sounds wrong, it is not.

6. Cake recipes can be made slightly less fattening by replacing the oil with applesauce.

7. In relationships, there is no such person as 'The One'. There are only 'The Not Ones'.

8. If you pee with the door open, your children will learn to use the toilet faster. (This theory is still in the beta testing phase.)

1 comment:

about the blogger

lori arnold mcfarlane

is a blogger and author living in Arkansas.

When she's not writing, working or herding her three children and asshole cat, Lori enjoys quietly reading (any book will do), drinking hot tea (milk, no sugar), exercising (sometimes) and when the notion hits, sewing, baking or crafting.

All opinions on this blog are entirely her own, and can and will probably one day be used against her in the court of law. Or in an attack ad, should she ever run for public office. They do not reflect the opinions of her employer.