The Sideshow returns to The Arts Parlor (1170 South Broad St.) this Friday with a show featuring stand-up comedy from Trevor Cunnion, improv from Cake Bear and Whisper, and necrosexuality from The Necrosexual.

As the year winds down, WitOut collects lists from comedy performers and fans of their favorite moments, comedians, groups, shows, etc. from the last year in Philly comedy. Top 5 of 2012 lists will run throughout December, and slightly beyond, if we deem it necessary–if you’d like to write one, pitch us your list at contact@witout.net!

Top 5 New-to-Me Bits of 2012

These are things that have been going on for a while here in Philly, but that I just had my first real experiences with this year. And I find myself, my life and my future better as a result.

5. John Kensil’s Joke Photos of People that Just Died. Like JUST died.
I don’t talk to John often. Actually, I’m not sure we’ve ever had a conversation. Maybe we’ll fix that this year in an episode of the GETTIN CLOSE PODCAST. For now though, we are simply friends on Facebook. It’s worth being his friend on Facebook just for the pictures he posts after someone with at least a moderate amount of fame dies. The pictures are usually close enough to be a mistake, but different enough to be on purpose. Most recently for Stormin Norman Schwartzkopf he posted a photo of Jonathan Winters which made me laugh out loud and for some reason feel bad about doing so. The pictures define “too soon” and somehow make me think I’ve waited too long each time a death report pops up.

4. “Not for Nuthin Podcast” with Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey
I was sitting in the Shubin basement before the theme show. While simultaneously using my script to study lines and swat flies something caught my ear. It was a sound that to me is as at once nails on a chalkboard and sweet mother’s milk at the same time: two super thick Delco accents. They were just kind of riffing on the “iggles” and whatnot for a couple minutes. I asked if they would want to do it as an act in an upcoming Sideshow at the Arts Parlor. They did a set where they debuted the “Not for Nuthin” podcast . And they killed. It was the perfect blend of sports talk, topical humor, ignorance of topics and racism. Brilliant.

3. Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez and Bing Supernova
I’ve heard about these two for a while, but it wasn’t until Friday night that I actually got to witness the spectacle of each. The stars aligned to get them in not only the same show, but the same set. It was equal parts hilarious and disturbing. The uniforms of each from beret to knee highs to glasses and grease(?) were enough to make people laugh, but also serve to soften the blow of the foul shit that each would say. These two really are the DEANS of comedy.

2. #Friendship
I’m sure this has been going on for a while with Aaron, but I had my first experiences with the chants this year and it’s happened several times since. The first time I remember is at the Friendship Labor Day picnic on the parkway. Each time a tour bus would go by Aaron led the “Friendship! Friendship! Friendship!” chant. It happened all afternoon. At least 6 times with different tour buses, but same tour guides who also came to enjoy it. The funnest time for me though was when the Friendship chant was heard not as a tour bus was passing, but an ambulance. If an ASTEROID! had hit Earth after that moment I’d have gone a happy person.

1. Roger Snair
HERE’S JOHNNY.

Top 5 Acts Ruined By Members Selfishly Moving Away To Explore Other Opportunities

5. Tap City
4. Half Life
3. Camp Woods
2. Camp Woods
1. Beirdo

Mike Marbach is the Education Director for Philly Improv Theater, director of PHIT House Team Asteroid!, creator and host of the Gettin’ Close podcast and producer of The Sideshow variety showcase at The Arts Parlor.

If you are a Philadelphia comedy performer that produces a podcast, web series, sketch video, humor column, or any other online content let us know by emailing us at contact@witout.net so we can share it!

As the year winds down, WitOut collects lists from comedy performers and fans of their favorite moments, comedians, groups, shows, etc. from the last year in Philly comedy. Top 5 of 2012 lists will run throughout December–if you’d like to write one, pitch us your list at contact@witout.net!

1. Tim Butterly shattering his own windshield with a mini-football using his non-throwing arm. An absolute act of God. Tim, Carl Boccuti, Jim Grammond, Darryl Charles and myself were on the set of a Bird Text sketch that was being filmed. We were passing time by throwing a mini-football around outside. During which time, Tim said something to the effect of “Let’s see what would happen if I threw this with my left hand” and he proceeded to slowly lob this stupid, half-deflated ball into the air towards Carl, yet directly into his own windshield, shattering it. Quite possible the funniest thing I have ever seen.

2. Joe Mayo simulating sex no less than 13 times during one period of hockey at the Wells Fargo Center. I had the pleasure of sitting roughly ten rows behind Joe at one of the Flyers playoff games against the Penguins. At random segments of the game, Joe would hop up, yell something about the on-ice action, then simulate various sex acts to accentuate his points. Worth the price of admission.

3. James Hesky coming over to my house to play Apples to Apples with my kids hours before he won Philly’s Phunniest. My kids love Hesky for various reasons and they had been bugging me to ask him to come over for awhile. Even though James had to prepare for the finals of the Philly’s Phunniest Competition at Helium this particular day, he made time to come to my home, treat my family to pizza and play Apples To Apples with my kids before heading home to go over his set. A class act who truly deserved the spoils of victory.

4. The Legendary Wid performing in front of my girls for their first comedy show. I was scheduled to perform on the final Chip Chantry’s One Man Show and I saw it as a great opportunity to have my girls watch me perform. They were 8 and 5 years old and hadn’t seen me perform comedy yet. They got their money’s worth.They watched me feed Chip ice cream, heard Andy Nolan’s machete rape bit, interacted with Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez and they saw The Wid at his finest. They enjoyed the whole show, but talked about Wid for some time. Every performer did a great job, but Wid gave a performance for the ages.

5. Any and all of the awkward hugs that Mary Radzinski and Lisa Yost endure.

Mike Rainey is a stand-up comic from Philadelphia. He is also a cat lover, a great friend and opinionated asshole. Follow him on twitter @mikerainey82.