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Topic: Who's Gigi?! (Read 4448 times)

My cousin and her mother are visiting my parents right now. This is a cousin that we don't see very often. And, the mother is divorced from my uncle (does that still make her my aunt?)

I called my parents last night to see how the visit was going - and to express how much I wanted to be there, too!

The conversation went something like this at one point:

Me: So, was it just Cousin and Aunt, or is Aunt's Husband there, too?

Mom: It's Cousin, Aunt and Gigi!

Me: Who's Gigi?!

Mom (sounding chipper - I could tell that she wasn't able to say much with everyone's sitting right there): Gigi's their dog!

Me: Um......Mom, where is the dog staying?

Mom: Everywhere!

Me: They brought their DOG to your house?! Knowing that there are 3 resident cats and that y'all really don't have a house set up for a dog? That the house is filled with breakable stuff and is not a "dog" type of home?

Mom: Uh huh!

I could tell by her voice that she was trying not to let on as to what I was asking or that she really wasn't pleased by the fact that they brought their dog to stay with them - and I mean INSIDE the house with them. Everyone was sitting there, and she didn't want to let them know what we were talking about.

But, who the heck brings their uninvited DOG to someone's home? Why, in the world, would they do that? If my parents had said they could bring the dog, it'd be one thing. But, to just show up with it?

I'm just amazed that someone would do that. Is that common among dog owners?! I've got to tell you that, if someone showed up on my front step with a dog, they'd be shown the way to the nearest hotel. Because Toto and I don't do dogs.

As a dog owner I can say that *I* don't just take my dog everywhere we go. He stays in a kennel. Period. No one that we stay with are dogs-in-the-house people, and I won't do that to them. Those poor cats!

My parent's dogs "visit" two places - my Uncle's house upstate and my Grandma's cabin (also upstate) They have been invited both places (Uncle has a dog of his own who is great friends with their dogs) and would never THINK to take them to anyone elses house.

I love dogs and still would not want to have one show up at my doorstep unannounced - especially for any length of time. As a dog owner, I can understand that the owners might not always feel comfortable placing their pets in a kennel, but it is not right to expect your hosts to take on the extra burden (unless they have specifically requested that you bring your little furry one along, or you have cleared it with them ahead of time). I agree with littlelauraj - the poor cats (and your parents too)!

Yea, that's just plain rude. Maybe they thought b/c your mom was "family" it was ok or something. As someone who grew up with dogs, and will have a dog in the future, my family NEVER brought the dogs along unless the owners invited the dogs too (which obvsiously was rare). Those are the kind of people who give dog owners a bad name! Grrrrr (pun intended).

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kathrynne

This is when having a freeflight parrot really comes in handy. Anyone showing up at my door with an uninvited critter of any sort will be rapidly handed a list of the nearest pet-friendly motels for their lodging, and I'll automatically interpret this arrival as meaning our bird is welcome in their home. Free to fly around and attack anything that moves, as well as doing what parrots do. That'll teach 'em.

But, who the heck brings their uninvited DOG to someone's home? Why, in the world, would they do that? If my parents had said they could bring the dog, it'd be one thing. But, to just show up with it?

Christmas 2000, my mother's baby sister brought her husband, their three kids, and the puppy (not housebroken, yet) with them from the East Coast to visit me in Georgia on the way to visit the rest of the family in Texas. Grandma (her mother) does not allow four legged animals in the farm house - it is a "farm" thing, animals belong in the barn or outside.

The dog did what dogs do on my carpet - twice -once submissive peeing next to Aunt E. and again when the three cousins and my two kids and a houseguest were trying to play with the poor, overwhelmed by the day's drive beast.

They were heading to stay with my sister - who is allergic to dogs and had just moved into a new house that had been steam cleaned and painted to control dog odors from the previous owner..........I called her after Aunt E. left so that she could meet them BEFORE the dog came out of their vehicle.

August 2006, my husband's parents came to visit with THEIR dog. Who gets sick after car travel. Who has hair a foot long. Which retains an enourmous amount of the kind of stuff that you don't want on off-white carpet in YOUR NEW HOUSE. Her mere presence traumatized our shy kitty...........it was an interesting visit. Snarky VorFemme spent a lot of time talking like the cat creature in Scooby Doo on Zombie Island to DeHubby. DeHubby spent a lot of time apologizing because his parents didn't mention that they were bringing the dog until they had gotten most of the way to our house..........an eight to nine hour drive from their house.....they were dropping off his niece at band camp a couple of hours drive north of Houston and were staying with us for a day or two. They hadn't seen me since 1998.

It was not the best visit I ever had from family or in-laws. Neither was it the worst - Aunt E in 1980 comes to mind for THAT one - although DeHubby's old room mate from before we were married probably edges her out by a nose hair..............but I'd have to add up the losses and damages to definitely break the tie.

Yes - both stories have been submitted to Etiquette Hell, in more detail.

But lots of people seem to think that pets are as much a part of the family as kids

Two years ago, we had the family of some friends stay with us during Hurricane Rita. This was a very unusual situation - they were trying to flee a massive hurricane coming towards Houston. My parents' home was a good place to flee to. These people brought their dog. It wasn't a big dog. And, my parents didn't know it was coming. HOWEVER, this was a very unique situation. And, it IS a family member. My parents had no problems, whatsoever, housing the dog that weekend. In fact, had the people not brought this part of their family and left it in Houston, my parents would have been very upset.

A national disaster, bring your dog and we will welcome you with open arms.

Bring it along for your visit just because you know my family's too nice to say something to you? Please don't.

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kathrynne

Two years ago, we had the family of some friends stay with us during Hurricane Rita. This was a very unusual situation - they were trying to flee a massive hurricane coming towards Houston. My parents' home was a good place to flee to. These people brought their dog. It wasn't a big dog. And, my parents didn't know it was coming. HOWEVER, this was a very unique situation. And, it IS a family member. My parents had no problems, whatsoever, housing the dog that weekend. In fact, had the people not brought this part of their family and left it in Houston, my parents would have been very upset.

A national disaster, bring your dog and we will welcome you with open arms.

Bring it along for your visit just because you know my family's too nice to say something to you? Please don't.

I completely agree. One of the things I've appreciated since moving to Colorado is that when there's a disaster here they work hard to evacuate the animals, as well as the people.

During the Hayman Fire a few years back, when we had lots of evacuations, they'd report on the news "X Shelter can accommodate three more dogs for emergency boarding. Y Ranch is still taking livestock. Anyone who can take in dogs, cats, whatever should call XXX-XXXX." It was really quite impressive.

I could never abandon my furbabies. We keep carriers next to the door in the garage for easy set-up.

When people plan to come to my house for the first time I warn them about my dogs. They are out side dogs but have free run of my entire property which means they greet me when I park my car. However, when I have guest coming over for the first time I always tell them to honk thier horn as they come down the drive so i can meet them outside. My dogs don't like strangers. They obey my commands and don;t bother peopel when I say no but strange dogs? I can't control them. I tell people all this because I have had people show up with dogs so they can "play" with mine. Mine weight 100-125 lbs each. My friend brought her tea cup yorkie. Yeah.

In truth I actually pin the dogs when compny is coming I just don't tell people. I have learned that fear of death is theo nly thing that works with people. This cuts down of uninvited drop bys.

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Pixie

Yes, my cats are my babies. They are part of our family. NO, I don't think its rude to go on vacation and leave them home with a sitter. LOL! Taking them would be too stressful for them, me, and whoever we were visiting. Hubby and I leave the "purr-babies" home either with our kids, or with a sitter if the kids are not going to be home. We did the same thing when we had a dog.

The exception to this was our first purr-baby, J.R. He went with us a couple times when we drove from Washington to Iowa to visit Hubby's family and my Mom. J.R. stayed with my Mom. J.R. had lived with my Mom and me for 6 years before I met and married Hubby, so he was quite attached to "Grandma" and Grandma adored him.

J.R. was 19 when he passed away, just 6 months after we lost Mom. It was so heartbreaking losing them almost together. But I know they are together now, and I will see them both again someday.

But, who the heck brings their uninvited DOG to someone's home? Why, in the world, would they do that? If my parents had said they could bring the dog, it'd be one thing. But, to just show up with it?

Well my SIL of course ! I love dogs and have always had them. I only take them "visiting" to 2 places. My Mom's house when we travel 8 hours to see her. ( She has big house, big yard and loves our critter.) I also take her to our family beach house - ONLY when we are the only ones using it.

SIL and her hubby have always hated dogs. They gave me so - o - o much grief about our dog - even refusing to come to dinner at our house. And for the record she is usually put in the bedroom with a chewy snack and her special pillow when we have company over who don't care for animals.

Now they have this dog - which is great they can love a pet - but they bring it everytwhere uninvited and unannounced, recent examples include:

1) After tellling everyone the dog was being boarded before their week long visit at XMAS - they brought her because they didn't want to pay a pet sitter.

2) Brought her to a cousins house who has seriously allergies/really hates dogs - just walked in and let her roam around.

3) Brought her to my FMIL's grave at the cemetary with his widow ( they didn't want to leave precious in the car ) .

4) Brought her to MIL's apt in assisted living that DOESN'T allow dogs ! Had to bring in take out sandwiches instead of taking elderly MIL out for a XMAS lunch as promised.Pup chewed up stuff and was apparently a nuisance.

5) Invited by another family member to accompany them to Boston, have dinner, see the lights and have a nice evening out. They show up with dog ( family memeber didn't even though they had brought dog ) and focus entire evening around poochie. Get kicked out of Quincy Marketplace for sneaking dog in. At dinner they left pooch in car - but take turns going out to car to sit with her.

6) Show up a XMAS dinner with dog in tow - I have 3 cats and an elderly dog as well as 30 guest. Dog has not been properly trained and is over stimulated. It makes # 2 in my bedroom, chases my cats and growls at my elderly dog. Note that dog was safe in spare bedroom - but SIL let him in cause he wated to go n there. I also think fluffpup pee'd on my floor. I wouldn't have minded if I had KNOWN. I would have made sure that cats are secured in upstairs bedrooms. ( They like my nephews/neices and actually enjoy family get togethers - all those laps sitting around ).

None of this is the pup's fault - he does what dogs do ..... but seriously this is why some people really dislike all animals.

I was at a rec league BBALL game last week at the elementary school my son attends - a couple stroll in with their dog and strolls him through the school. When nicely asked by the janitor if they could take the dog outside - they reply in a sickly syrupy sweet baby voiuce "HE"S my furbaby - he's my kid - schools let you have kids". the janitor had to call the security guard to have them leave.

As a new dog owner, I'm amazed by how many people assume that I should bring my dog everywhere. My BF even suggested I bring him down with me to his mother's for Thanksgiving, without telling her first! I pointed him to an etiquette website and set him straight immediately. (In his defense, he's a huge dog lover, as is his family, who probably wouldn't have minded, but I still want to stay on the good side of my potential in-laws.)

I left him at the home of some good friends who are dog owners, who were amazed that I didn't want to take him with me. They informed me that their dog is part of their family, and if somebody didn't want the dog along, then clearly, they were not welcome either. No wonder they were no longer invited home for Thanksgiving and Christmas!

BIL and SIL brought their two large dogs to visit a couple of Thanksgivings ago. They also had their two-year-old daughter, which I understood. Our house was brand new, and the dogs were very large. Fortunately, the animals were well-behaved. I told DH I'd rather they bring the dogs than the kids next time, but I doubt it will happen.

Buffy2424

I have a relative who is the most clueless dog owner ever. The kind I'm sure other, responsible dog owners loathe (I don't know much about dogs; I'm a cat mom, myself).

Once we invited this relative and her boyfriend to visit us. At the time, we were living in a small (under 600 sq ft) apartment where dogs were not allowed. You guessed it, she showed up with her huge dog and we had to visit outside with them akwardly, amid stares and landlord concerns, until they left. Why she didn't think of this or ask us first is beyond me.

That dog died and last year she got another dog, a puppy that's quickly growing into another big dog. When we visited over Christmas, the dog was all over me to the point of ripping my pants and almost knocking me down. Nobody but me attempted to tell the dog to knock it off.

The dog was clearly restless from being cooped up all day (crate) so after awhile I finally offered to take it for a walk. Relative looked at her boyfriend, and looked at her mom, and said, "Do we even have a leash?" Great. Like I said, I know jack about dogs, but that sounds like neglect to me. I thought they had to be walked several times a day?

This relative and her boyfriend have never lived on their own, and in fact live with her mother. They are going to move out in a few months, and frankly I think they will be shocked that not all small, inexpensive apartments allow huge dogs.