This Can't Be Happening

The Sorting Hat

So for the duration of the ride I let my mind wander. And I started to think about which house I would be sorted into, for sure not Griffindor, and definitely not Hufflepuff. Grifindor’s were supposed to be bold and courageous, and I was neither, Hufflepuff’s were supposed to be patient and unafraid of toil, and thanks to my mom I’m super afraid of toil. So that just leaves Ravenclaw who are supposed to be wise and love knowledge, which I don’t… so that just leaves Slytherin, who are supposed to be cunning, I am, and they will do anything to get what they want, which I do. So based on that I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be sorted into the Slytherin house….

Professor McGonagall silently placed a four legged stool in front of the first years. On top of the stool she put a pointed wizard’s hat... The hat twitched. A rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth - and the hat began to sing:

“Oh,you may not think I’m pretty,
But don’t judge on what you see,
I’ll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You keep your bowlers black
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There’s nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can’t see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Griffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Griffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You’ll make your real friends,
Those cunning folks use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don’t be afraid!
And don’t get in a flap!
Your in safe hands (though I have none)
For I’m a Thinking Cap!”

The whole hall burst into applause as the hat finished its song.*

Professor McGonagall started to call out names in alphabetical order… “ Abbott, Hannah!”… “Evans, Sophia!” I calmly strode over to the chair and sat down and put the hat over my head… “Huh, Well this is interesting. Do you know who your father is?” said a small whisper in my ear. And I thought about how when ever I ask my mum who he was she would always freeze up. “Hmmm, well your mind is very much like his and you’ll be as powerful as he is, but I can see that you won’t follow in his foot steps. This is a pretty easy decision to make… you’ll be in SLYTHERIN!” I took off the hat and strode happily to the table that was clapping very loudly. I made sure there was am empty seat next to me and three empty ones in front of me.

“Malfoy,Draco!” Draco walked gracefully and confidently up to the stool. The Hat had barley fell upon his silver haired head then did it scream out “SLYTHERIN!” I stood up happily and cheered as loudly as the rest of the table. He looked at me and smiled widely at me and came to sit next to me. “Pansy Parkinson!” Pansy practically ran to the chair. Once she put the Hat on it was there for a good three minutes before calling out “SLYTHERIN!” The next person they called was the person I least expected. “Potter,Harry!” when they called his name every one in the hall got silent. Then the whispers broke out. “Hey is that the Harry Potter?” I asked Draco. “Yup.” Draco said not looking so happy.
“Whats wrong Draco?” I asked him looking at him. “I had a little run in with him when we were dressing in to our robes. I asked him if he would like to sit with us and find his real friends and a filthy mud blood and poor red headed came to his rescue saying they were his real friends. So I told him if he ever got tired of living with the lower class people then he can come hang out with us and he got up in my face saying he would never do that, so I’m a bit miffed.” he said with disgust. So in sympathy and to calm him down I put my hand on his arm and said “Well he’s missing out in true friends.” I looked at him and smiled. Then the Hat called out “GRIFFINDOR!” and Harry Potter went to join his friends. Draco looked at me and smiled back and covered my hand with his. Then the food came and I moved my hand to the silverware almost immediately. Draco laughed and said. “Hungry much?” I laughed and said..
“Well, yea I haven’t eaten breakfast so yea I’m starving.” But then again he didn’t know that I haven’t eaten in a week because of my mom being drunk and always being in the kitchen. Then I dug into the extravagant turkey dish and forgot all about my mom. After I finished the turkey a plate of mashed potatoes appeared with I cup of gravy. I poured the gravy over the mashed potatoes. And dug in. When that mashed potatoes plate was done Draco, Pansy,Crabbe,and Goyle were all full, but I wasn’t not eating for a week really gives you an appetite. The only people left eating were me and a few male Slytherins in their 4th year. Draco was looking at me like I was some kind of painting that had caught his interest. For he would not stop staring at me. The next course that was summoned for those who were still eating was dessert, they severed mint chocolate chip ice-cream, with apple pie. When I had finished the apple pie I was the only Slytherin still eating. “Wow! How long has it been since you last ate?” Draco asked in awe. “Mmm… bout a week I think… yea bout a week.” I said thinking bout how badly I wanted some carrot cake rolls right now. And POOF! There it was in front of me, and I dug in. A 5th year Slytherin a few seats down said. “How can a twenty pound girl eat a hundred pounds of food?” that remark got a few laughs from the Slytherins, while I just started to giggle about it. Once I had finally finished and, man was I full! Professor Mcgonagall had all the house leaders lead theirs kids to the houses. Once we got to the Slytherin house there was a rather large painting on the wall in front of us with a giant king looking person on a throne. I was about to turn to Draco and ask who was in the painting. Draco was one step ahead of me. “That’s Salazar Slytherin himself. The founder of this very house.” Draco told me. I was amazed at how regal and aristocratic he looked. So one other thought crossed my mind.. Is being vain another characteristic of a Slytherin? If so I would hate to find out what they think when they hear I’m not… you know Vain?