Everyone secretly has a uniform. A string of clothing that they put together when they don’t want to put too much effort into the thought process of conjuring an outfit. For most people, it’s nearly always, jacket – top – trousers, in that order, worn together with the first pair of shoes omitted through ones lazier peripheral vision. For me, this exists but in somewhat more of an colour form.

There are particular colours that are embedded in my own notion of a ‘uniform’. I’m nearly always wearing black or khaki or black and khaki and it must drive everyone around me mad but the person who it actually matters too – me.

Example number 1. I called my mum and said ‘Mummy, did you read my latest blog post?’ only to be cut off with an abrupt reply on her behalf of ‘why? Is it black again? all you do is black on black on black’. Erm, SORRY?!?! Let’s not be passive aggressive , lady. Even my so called ‘laid back’ brother ( who takes my photos) said ‘Mel, everything you wear looks like it derives from the same look book from one designers collection’ after which he laughed so much at his dry ass joke you would think Kevin Hart came down from the sky and commended him on his witty comment.

For me, I think that it’s a good thing when ones style is consistent, distinctive and easily recognisable. It would always be a good thing for someone to say ‘oh that’s so Melissa!’. For me, it’s even better when others are inspired by my style and allow it to reflect across their own wardrobe.

Versace once said ‘When a woman alters her look too much, from season to season she becomes a fashion victim’ and to only further elaborate, Oscar de la Renta describes a fashion victim as ‘a person who is unable to identify commonly recognised boundaries of style’.

So all in all, it looks like I’m doing a pretty good damn job at doing me whilst being stylish so all unsolicited opinions can go to the very far left corner of the I-don’t-Give-A-Damn waiting room, please.

I will conclude today’s somewhat educational passage with a reference quote from a wise young rapper named Lil’ Bibby which reads ‘If you ain’t got not haters you ain’t poppin’, N*gga’.This line is the anthem that I will hum to myself when another unsolicited comment comes my way.

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