my god … it's full of stars

You can all uncross your fingers. Feel free to no longer worry about whether or not my stupid boyfriend can quit smoking. Easy answer … he can’t.

I just don’t know what to do. Look, I’m not going to marry him if he keeps smoking. And there’s not a chance in hell I’m ever going to have kids with him if he keeps smoking. I’m just so sick and fucking tired of being disappointed in him. He says he’s going to do something and he never does. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel about all of this. I don’t know how to be the person I feel I’m turning into when I have nobody else there with me. I feel like I’m constantly struggling to improve myself and he’s content to just be J and not worry about changing himself. And, for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to explain this so that he understands.