Election 2016: Alien Queen vs. Swamp Thing

Sludgefeast ’16 (otherwise known as the US presidential election) has finally shaken out all fellow-traveling parasites in favor of two alpha vermin—the Alien Queen and Swamp Thing.

As the face of their respective political parties, each boasts a distinctive pedigree: the former a career politician who consistently shows that she thinks herself above the law; the latter a self-styled business mogul who has declared bankruptcy four times. Each may come under indictment at any moment: the Alien Queen for violation of national secrecy regulations; Swamp Thing for alleged fraud.

As neither currently holds any public office, both would have to comply immediately with any judicial summons for legal proceedings, at either the state or Federal level. This would make it difficult for either one to continue to pursue their campaigns, leaving the race without contenders and the incumbent administration drawing its final breaths. The parties in the chain of succession to the president are clearly spelled out by law: the vice-president (universally ignored); and the Speaker of the House (who doesn’t want the job). It used to be said the the best possible outcome in Washington was gridlock; now, it seems, the best possible outcome is none at all.