Forget the money tree. I have a credit card tree. Apparently?

Me: [seriously? Before I barf directly into her face can anyone confirm that such a thing exists?]

Me: No. You’re not getting anyone’s credit card. Do you realize that every time I use our credit card that we have to pay the bill back in real money? It is not free. Nothing about a credit card is free. Same goes for Justin Beiber.

Her: But I just want it.

Me: Right. Do you understand how a credit card works? I pay the bill for every credit card, once a month. We could never control how much money you spend if you had a credit card. You are nine years old. I would rather give you cash to buy things–at least this way I could control how much you buy.