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Ok not THAT herpes, but a different kind of herpes. I bet you thought you could only get herpes by being a slutty, drunken, hot mess. Think again! You can get it by being an overworked, type A overachiever such as myself.

I had really bad chicken pox when I was little and it left some pretty wicked scars. Who knew it was also hiding out in my nerve roots, just waiting for the chance to break free and wreak havoc?!? It lays dormant until you get old (like say, 25), have a compromised immune system, or stress the fuck out. That last one is me. A lot.

Shingles, unlike chicken pox, is not contagious. Unless of course, you have not had chicken pox, then stay far, far, far away from me – here’s lookin’ at you, kid.

So how does one get better? Loads of steroids, creams, writing silly blog posts like this (medically proven to help heal two weeks faster), and take on a lighter work load. Wait… Is there really such a thing as a lighter work load? My job will eventually start to notice if I stop showing up, my kid/husband will start to recognize that I’m less involved, schoolwork isn’t going to do itself, and most importantly, who will write my Wednesday blog post?!?

There may not be such a thing as a lighter schedule, but I could learn to deal with stress differently and learn to say the words “no” so that I don’t overstress myself with nonessentials.

No, I will not plan your baby shower.

No, I will not travel 7 hours for your 2-hour Memorial Day picnic.

No, I will not run a half marathon with you.

No, I will not work overtime for convention, when I’m not even eligible for overtime.

No, I will not loan you any money.

Wow, I feel better already. So remember, friends don’t let friends get herpes! This is just a friendly reminder to stay healthy and don’t stress and say NO to everyone around you.

This post brought to you by Maureen, who is going to be saying NO a lot more.