Deal with a jealous girlfriend

A small amount of jealousy can add a little fire to a relationship. It strengthens bonds, helps boost communication, serves as a reminder of the physical appeal of your significant other and acts as a motivator for self improvement. That's a small amount. When you are involved with a woman who is extremely jealous, the entire relationship might go up in flames. There are obvious signs when someone is overly jealous. She'll check in on you too often. She'll text you too often. She'll check your Facebook page way too often. She'll call you too often, and if she hears a female voice in the background, she will question you - nay - interrogate you. "Who is she? What are you doing with her? What are you up to?" She is constantly questioning you about any and every woman in your life. Friend, co-worker, student, even your best friend's girlfriend. This girl wants to do everything with you. She doesn't trust you. Basically, she doesn't feel safe when you are out of her sight. Jealousy reveals a person who is insecure. She is afraid. Afraid you will leave her, afraid she isn't good enough for you, afraid you might like another woman better than her. Perhaps you don't tell her enough how important she is, and how much you care for her. Perhaps her fear is more of a projection, and she's actually worried another woman might be capable of doing what she has capable of doing in the past - poaching another woman's man. The worst thing about being untrustworthy, is you never really trust anyone else. There are a few things you can do to deal with your girlfriend's jealousy-fueled behavior. There are things you can do to put her fears to rest. Then again, if she continuously exhibits these annoying traits, even after you've done everything you can, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

What Not to Do When Dealing with a Jealous Girlfriend

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Stop looking at other women when she's around

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Glancing at other women is perfectly natural, but it's also likely to spark feelings of jealousy in your girlfriend. When you two are out together, don't stare or turn your head when an attractive woman walks by. If you know you'll be out together and surrounded by women all day, wear sunglasses so your girlfriend won't notice your wandering eyes.

If you're talking to another woman, don't hide it from her or say you're talking to "no one". You have to be open and honest. If you have female friends, be upfront about it, otherwise she'll become even more insecure and think you're hiding something. Shady behavior isn't acceptable if you don't want to deal with your girlfriend's jealous outbursts.

It's easy to become angry and annoyed when you're being accused of seemingly minor things, or things you didn't do; however, the best thing you can do is show your girlfriend how much you love her on a regular basis. If you care about her feelings, you should try to make her understand that you love her and she has nothing to be jealous of. Often, just a little reaffirmation is all it takes to make her feel better.

If you're out having a good time with your friends, don't send her a message telling her you're having a terrible time and you wish you were with her (unless it's true). She's unlikely to believe it, and more likely to think you're just trying to hide something.

Even if you're trying to compliment her, comparisons to other women just make her think you're looking at them. Give her compliments that stand alone, and avoid bringing up other women's looks completely.

Even suggesting something as seemingly minor as changing her hair color can have unintended consequences. This is likely to make her feel insecure. She'll think you wished she looked like someone else, or that she's not good enough the way she is.

How to Deal with a Jealous Girlfriend

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Try to understand how she feels

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If your girlfriend had a cheating ex, she might have a good reason to experience some jealousy. Just calmly let her know that you would never cheat on her, and you feel uncomfortable when she accuses you of such things.

While it might feel more natural to close up when she's demonstrating jealous behavior, that's the wrong move. Avoid being secretive as much as possible. Accept her feelings and discuss them with her, without losing your temper. This will help ease her fears and avoid other problems in the future.

When you're working late or out with your friends, you don't have to spend the entire time glued to your phone. Simply sending her a quick text letting her know that you're thinking of her, or that you love her and miss her, can brighten her day and help diminish any feelings of worry or jealousy that she might have.

If you're doing something that continually causes her to feel jealous, then limit that behavior or stop it altogether. If it's something you don't want to completely avoid, like spending time with your male friends, just let her know how important they are to you but that you will limit the time you spend with them.

Questions and Answers

I got a ride home from a coworker and my girlfriend has been acting crazy ever since. Did I do something wrong?

I work in a place where I'm the only male clerk, I sometimes get rides home from two specific coworkers or the security guard that works with me. I recently got a ride home from a coworker that may have a crush on me, but I'm just not the cheating type. My fiancé asked about the ride and her head has been spinning off and on ever since. What did I do wrong here? Help me understand what I did.