St Jamie Oliver’s Dream School Will Pity And Save The Poor

JAMIE Oliver’s mission to cure the fast-food classes of cheap protein (the miracle of the last 100 years) moves from their tum-tums to their heads. It is Oliver’s chosen lot to walk among the great unwashed – Northerners, Americans, the poor and the products of what the tabloids call “broken” society.

His new TV series is called Jamie’s Dream School. Jamie says he was “rubbish” at school. But he had parents who ran a thriving gastro-pub and inn in a lovely part of Essex. He had a passion for food and something to fall back on should a career away from the family not work out.

In this show, Jamie, who left school at 16, will coerce twenty 16-18 year old no longer at school “give education a second chance”.

He didn’t need it. But you do. Because you – you unprivileged fool – need to be cured of your poverty and lack of drive to comply.

In one show, Lord Winston, the fertility expert asks the boys to produce a sample of sperm to examine under a microscope. Only two agree.

Lord Winston says it’s all about science. But this is a telly show – it’s all about the ratings. We get to look at the poor wankers – literally.

But, as ever, the kidz who don’t do education won’t be watching. They are on the internet buying meow meow, having fun or out. It’s the keenos and the middle-class parents who will tune in to have their own prejudices and sense of superiority intimately massaged.

The poor aren’t included. They poor are the squirming blobs in the TV Petri Dish, being peered at by St Jame, a Victorian anthropologist with a TV crew…