Friday, April 29, 2005

No Offense, But Why in the Fuck are you Famous Again?

In all seriousness, I generally wish people well and hope they fulfill their wildest dreams. You guys know the dude that plays the boyfriend of rapper Eve on her self titled show, or the guy that played her no good boyfriend in the movie Barbershop? OK, me and that dude went to high school together(Jason George) and he was on my track team. I wish him the best because not only is he a nice guy but he deserves all the success he gets. I am not a hater, but I have absolutely no respect for someone who is famous and they don't have any recognizable talent whatsoever. Today I will point some of these individuals out.(Post inspired by Y. Massey)

Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie: I never knew that being a rich, obnoxious slut was a talent. Every time I see either of these two on a entertainment news show I keep waiting to see what their specific talent is. So far, we know that Nicole Richie is Lionel Richie's Daughter, no marketable skills, and she likes drugs. Paris Hilton is part of the Hilton fortune, no marketable skills, and she has the I.Q of a toddler. I once heard Paris say that she didn't want to take a certain movie role because it would damage her image. I immediately said to myself, " Image?? There is a porno tape of you banging some loser in a hotel room, people already have the fact that you are a slut ingrained in their mind." Nicole Richie, besides being a major druggie, once said that she wanted to "Have sex with Kobe Bryant" while being inteviewed on national television at a Lakers game.(Did I mention that she said that while his rape case was going on? Smart move) These two just show that celebrity is easier to obtain nowadays when you are virtually talentless.

Bentley Farnsworth: To say this jackass irritates the fuck out of me is an understatement. I mean, the guy is Puffy's man servant for Christs sake! Where in the fuck is the talent in that? As a black man I would find being anyone's "servant" demeaning on any level. He can't rap, sing, produce, but he can hold one hell of a umbrella for Puffy when it is raining! He has been in countless videos, fashion themed shows, and other outlets and I am still waiting to find out what he exactly does that proves that he has talent.

Anna Nicole Smith: I know that she was once a model, but come on. She married a guy damn near on his death bed in hopes to collect some fat cash and so far that hasn't worked out for her. She had a reality show where all she did was stay medicated 24/7 and acted like a complete jackass. Every time I see her she looks completely high off her ass, struggling through simple sentences and embarrassing the shit out of herself. Now she peddles this stuff called "Trimspa" after losing a shitload of weight. 'Trimspa" must have crack in it because her ass lost that weight really fast, with crackfein-type accuracy. Again, she has no recognizable talent besides being a pill popping chick with extremely big boobs.

Anyone on a reality Show: Message to anyone ever on a reality show: The reason why your acting career hasn't taken off after your appearance on that reality show is because casting agents know, like me, that you are talentless. I mean, Omaroso is a woman that proved herself to be a backstabbing incompetent witch, why would I want to hire her for my new sitcom?? I respect people who do the reality show, go back to their old lives and keep it moving. To suddenly think you are a acting commodity because you were simply in front of a camera is ridiculous to me.

Bishop Don Magic Juan: This is going to sound weird coming from a guy who can call out a shitload of porn-stars by name, but this guy bothers me on a social level. When did being a pimp become marketable in the entertainment world? Not only is this guy somewhat offensive with his ugly suits and horrendous pimp cups, but the guy butchers the English language whenever he opens his mouth. At least be a articulate pimp! every time he appears on T.V he sets the civil rights movement back 100 years, seriously. When people ask him what role he plays in his entourage Snoop says that this guy is his "spiritual adviser". My question to Snoop is what exactly is he advising you in, better and more accurate ways to "smack your bitch"? Come on. The mere fact that this jackass is famous for being a pimp, and not having one marketable entertainment skill is beyond me.

From what I've heard Nicole Richie is going to be putting an album out soon so you know how well that will do. Paris Hilton is going to be staring in a new horror movie called House of Wax. I'm sure that will be a hit, SIKE!

Bentley Farnsworth in my opinion is the poster boy for the DL lifestlye but from what I heard through MTV he's going to be putting out an album and tapped Kayne West to produce some tracks for him. He'll probably have Andre 3000 on it being that they both went to high school together.

As far as Bishop Don Magic Juan is concerned I agree with you he does butcher the English language but here's something that you didn't know he actually is an ordained minister and he's also published a book called From Pimpstick to Pulpit. I SH*T YOU NOT. That muthaf*cka is published and I'm still blogging. WTF!

Farnsworth...Man Servant...anyone who would acknowledge this as a title for themselves should be dragged into an alley and beaten with a bag of wet rats. I saw some show talking about Reality Show participants and the term they used was "famous for nothing".

I love this post! I was just talking about Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie the other day. I'm so sick of these no talent wenches and their dumb ass catch phrases like, "That's hot." And am I losing my mind or is Bentley Farnsworth carrying an Alpha Kappa Alpha umbrella? Gosh I thought Jerome, Morris Day's lackey was useless, but at least he'd play the tambourine or something when the Time was on stage.

LOL! I feel ya, but I gotta shamefully admit that I love Fonzworth Bentley. I think I'm kinda glad that his fame has made a turn around cuz his family wasn't too happy about him being depicted as Diddy's man-servant. They were like "negro you have a degree and this is what you're doing with it." But yeah, I'm with you...if you're gonna be a celebrity, can I see some talent please?!

As much as I hate to say this...Anna Nicole smith probably gave that 90 year old man a hand job and spanked his wrinkly, liver-spotted ass. I'm sure she let him bury his face in her massive mountain of silicone... so I'd say she earned some measure of fame and money.

Hi The Humanity Critic, Hope you don't mind me leaving a message on your blog. I came across this one as I am looking for details on cool kids t shirts and yours came up! It's weird because sometimes looking for cool kids t shirts I get blogs that are nothing like that - its a mad world we live in. Anyhoo, like your blog I'll come back again, if that's ok with you. See you

If you haven't noticed, Kanye West is quoted as saying that Farnsworth is "quite an accomplished MC" and is currently signed to G.O.O.D. (Getting Out Our Dreams) music. Manservant? Yes. One of the best dressed men of our generation? Possibly. Accomplished MC? Bet you didn't know.