Gotta be careful, I'm not looking to piss Ben Roethlisberger off too much. Gotta walk on glass around him. Just one little thing could set him off ON A FULL BLOWN SCUM-FRENZY IN THE GREATER SHITSBURGH AREA! PUMP!

Two things that are definitely not mutually exclusive here.

YOU'D THINK THAT 24 SECOND VIDEO IS ALL WE'D NEED TO SUFFICIENTLY PUMP US THROUGH THE REST OF THE WEEK, RIGHT? NAH NOT ON MY WATCH!

BACK TO THE PUMP!

OK AND BECAUSE TIM TEBOW IS EVERYTHING THAT IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD, WE GOT A REMIX OF ONE OF THE PUMPIEST SONGS OF ALL TIME - ABOUT, YEP, TIM TEBOW!

Last thing here!

..featuring TIM TEBOW! Nothing PUMPIER IN THE WORLD THAN SEEING A BUTCH LESBO AND AN ANDROGYNOUS PERSON GETTING THEIR PANTIES IN A BUNDLE OVER THE GREATEST FOOTBALL PLAYER TO WALK THE EARTH! AND THEN DIE, THEN RISE AGAIN LOL!

Yeah yeah, Rachel Maddow and any of her guests, easy target. Blah blah, I know, but the first 20 seconds are hilarious, when they have a near meltdown over Tim Tebow believing in something as silly as the Purple Unicorn under my porch. But what about his merit as a player?

"Tim Tebow doethn't make it the NFL; it'th becauthe he can't break a pane-glattthh window wifth a football". You're wrong! He does make it in the NFL, see that PLAYOFF GAME HE JUST WON YOU FUCKING PUSSIES! Most yards per completion ever! 125.something QB Rating!

Twinkie twink thinks he actually has about as much a chance as Tim Tebow starring as an NFL quarterback, an unbiathed view, jutht ath a thporth guy. Wait, guy? I thought he was a she!

See above, fruitloop!

The week is about half over. More football this weekend. And oh god a Packers game! I smell a SUPER PUMP coming next week. Unless of course if the Broncos and Packers both lose, we'll probably all kill ourselves TWICE AS HARD, CAUSE THAT'S HOW PUMPED WE GET!

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tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.