Changing myself for the better

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Today as we get ready to celebrate America’s most watched sporting event I prefer to focus on the music; aka the halftime show. As a big music fan, it’s amazing to watch a choreographed dance of cameras, fans, stages, and sometimes pyro move into the center of the stadium for just a 12 minute performance. The anticipation of what songs they’ll perform in that tiny time slot and the visuals to portray the current events are awe inducing.

Thinking back on the best performances I can clearly remember Michael Jackson’s halftime performance in 1993 because he somehow managed to appear in the corners of the stadium. Of course looking back on it now, it wasn’t magic, it’s just stand ins. Even so, who will ever dance like this again?

There is one performance in particular that wrecked me. It was 2002, four long sad months after September 11. Our country was in mourning and at the time it was hard to enjoy American events and feel safe while doing it. A little Irish band took America’s biggest stage and helped us pay tribute to those lost in the events of September 11. At the time there was a lot of fear in America especially at large gatherings; fear of another attack but also fear in how our world had changed in one day. This little Irish band let us mourn but also remember we are a strong America.

I had always been a U2 fan but even more so that day; the day I added U2 to my bucket list of concerts to see. The years have passed by and I’ve never made it to their show. This year marks the 30th Anniversary of the Joshua Tree album and U2 is embarking on a huge world tour and this Irish girl finally made her wish come true. I’ve paid a pretty penny for floor seats but I know it’ll be worth it.

I am sure that tonight’s halftime show will not disappoint. Even if you aren’t a fan of Lady Gaga’s music she is incredibly talented and I have no doubts that tonight will be memorable.

This past September I was nearly laid off again. This was five months into a new job after being laid off for 18 months! I was in a state of panic and disappointment. I just wanted a job that I enjoy doing with people I like and decent pay. My company was going through a reorganization and my position was no longer necessary because they were moving into a more automated process. Luckily for me, they saw my good work ethic and I was well liked so I talked myself into another position to keep working. Unfortunately, I talked myself into an IT help desk role.

I say unfortunately because I did not have a strong IT background or even answered phones as my job! How can I solve user’s problems if I don’t even know what to do!? A few weeks into this new role I had major anxiety every morning and even walked out of the office one day to cry in my car. Crying = literally blubbering on the phone with my friend Stacey. I wanted out of this job immediately.

Quitting without backup wasn’t an option and I really do like who I work with so I kept with it. I started giving myself pep talks in the morning, learned how to curb my anxiety and embrace the qualities I do have to offer instead of focusing on what I don’t have. I have made every effort to treat every frustrated user with patience and kindness while attempting to be confident in what I was doing.

I am four months in and I feel really good with how far I have come. I still love who I work with and have built a rapport with many of the user that call in. I feel confident in my ability to do my job which is a 180 from where I started.

I share these details because I want people to know that even though change sucks and times do get difficult; to push through because coming out the other side and learning things about yourself is priceless. Happy Friday xo

Ciao 2016! You were great but 2017 is going to be even better! I have to admit that 2016 wasn’t so bad for me: I learned a lot about myself, even more about others and getting closer to what I want. What else could a girl need?!

If you’re a regular reader (and by regular reader I mean the 2 posts every 6 months haha) you know I’ve shared some low points, some great moments and just some funny stuff. In talking to my readers I have learned that the funny stuff is what sticks!

In 2017 I vow to you, my loyal readers, more dating stories! In 2015, my resolution was saying yes and this year I’m taking that to another level! I’m going to say yes to more dates; even those I would normally scoff at. This will all be within reason, like no dates with possible murderers, drug addicts, dead beat dads, etc etc etc.

I hope you’ll follow along on my dating adventures. I will be honest, I will change names, and if I’ve gone quiet it could mean one of two things: 1) I haven’t been on a date or 2) I’ve met someone worthwhile to keep to myself. Here’s to hoping for the latter…. 🙂

I was secretly on a mission for the last 11 months and I am sad to report that I have failed. My goal was to meet a hot and super rich guy to marry and travel with and never work again.

I have put my goal aside (for now 😉 ) and found a new job! I’m pretty excited because it’s something new but nervous AF hoping I do a good job. I do feel good about it because they have already set up a Welcome Liz Lunch (I love lunching!) whereas my last employer threw me in a cube and my boss didn’t talk to me for six months.

With that said, I came across a blog I never posted when I was down in the dumps. I had made a list of goals that I have mostly accomplished:

Stop the negativity – work in progress

Do what makes me happy – my favorite one!

Walk everyday – eh, working on that

Love myself – work in progress

I have made a lot of changes since I made this list and feel really good. I probably haven’t felt this good for an extended period of time in years. I am not perfect and I will stumble but I am conscious of what I need to do to stay on track.

My time “off” has been time well spent. I have helped others which fills my heart and others have helped me. In down times we learn who our friends our and I certainly did. My friends have really stuck by me and when I was a raging bitch or in a dark place; they certainly made it known and balanced me. THANK YOU!

My parents have been my safety net and I am incredibly lucky to have them. Despite disagreements I know they have my best interest at heart. ❤

Lastly, like the quote about says, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.” It’s easy to be positive when things are going right for me at the moment, but I learned how to have faith in myself. No one can ever bring you down unless you let them. This was a hard lesson for me because it meant I had to be mentally strong and block out the bullshit. I built that faith in myself by knowing I was better than what anyone says or thinks. I had faith that I am a hard worker and would figure out a way if I didn’t find a job. There is always a way…

Last summer I was let go from my job. I was devastated but also in need of a time out. I was put through the ringer and probably on the verge of a breakdown. A negative environment to say the least.

For a while I told people it was a blessing in disguise but on the inside I felt like a failure. I thought maybe I wasn’t good at my job and maybe I should change careers or step down from the role I was used to. I have been terrified to re-join the workforce because I didn’t want to be in that situation ever again.

Yesterday I got a phone call that I didn’t ever think I needed but may have saved me; my supervisor who was let go the same day. We commiserated for a minute about our experience but then she reminded me how great I was at my job and she would do anything she could to help me.

With that said, why don’t women come together and support each other 100% of the time? So often women put each other down in a man’s world. Perhaps it’s to get ahead or make ourselves feel better about flaws we think we have but we need to stop.

I have learned more recently that there are so many ways in which women are discriminated in society. Breastfeeding is seen as repulsive (which boggles my mind since we were ALL babies at one time), woman make less money than men in the same position, women are judged on their looks everyday especially in business and overall, seen as less than men. And this is just in the United States.

In many other countries, women are treated like slaves. They cannot show their face or their hair. They do not have voting rights and quite possibly the worst is female circumcision.

While I slowly step off my soap box, I implore you to be kind to each other. To my ladies, please support each other. We are the only ones who truly understand what our gender struggles with every day. To the men, never forget that a woman birthed you and although we are behind you, we should stand next to you.

I recently saw the movie “Brooklyn”, based on the book by Colm Toibin, about a young woman who travels from Ireland to America seeking opportunity. I immediately thought of my great grandma, Mary Healy, who left her home in Riverstown in County Sligo, in 1907 and arrived five days later at Ellis Island.

At the young age of 11, Mary accompanied her aunt Bridget in search a better life but mostly the unknown. Unknown because there weren’t televisions, iPhones, computers and barely a telephone. I can’t imagine the hope and fear they must have had similar to Eilis (pronounced Alish) in “Brooklyn”.

Eilis arrived at Ellis Island around 1950 all alone with no family or friends except for a Priest. He helped her get a job, a home with other Irish immigrants and eventually an education.

I don’t know if my great-grandmother had a plan laid out like Eilis but most importantly, she survived. Mary found a home in Newark, NJ, eventually met my great-grandfather (O’Hare), started a family and had six children.

Great Grandma Mary & IShe lived to be 97 and passed in 1993.

My grandmother is now 95 and had a family of her own, one son who died shortly after birth and three daughters; one of which is my mother. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling this story!

First, let me say that I think the evolution of my family is amazing. I think I get my fire from my great-grandmother and grandmother; smart, witty, wise cracking and family above all else. That’s where I come from.

Second, you reading this are a relative of an immigrant. If you don’t already know your story, find out. You might be amazed.

Lastly, the world we live in today is a scary place and very different from 1907 and 1950. ISIS and other terrorist groups are threatening our freedoms. As an American, we are the land of the free and home of the brave which will never change but I’m very conflicted on the topic of refugees.

We have our own citizens that are sick, dying, homeless and without food. Syria is a place of terror and poverty beyond our imagination yet I fear for our own safety of terrorist. I don’t have an answer, but if we didn’t have immigrants then you or I wouldn’t be here.

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About Me

I’m a marketing account manager by day but a fun loving single girl by night trying to change my life for the better.
I talk about whatever is on my mind from workouts, food, motivation, family shiz, dating experiences and my dog.