Monday, November 23, 2009

The Go Team: A Journey - Leah

The audition notice seemed like a tongue-in-cheek suggestion from my friend Stephanie. I was chuckling, when the mental needle scratched the record. Sign me up for this unbelievable job! Immediately I became Serious about Charmin.

My surreal journey to this stellar post of Charmin Ambassador began early. On November 5th at 4:45 am I was the first person to arrive at the Hilton Hotel in NYC. (I’m aware those who know and love me are in disbelief.) The guard on duty allowed me to set up camp in the lobby. “I’m Crazy! You’re crazy! This man thinks you’re a nutter asking about toilet paper auditions before 5 am!” Around 6 am, as I began to doze, a gentleman said, “Are you here for Charmin?” I jumped up wondering if my nap would cause me to be lost in the crowd now. My lucky number is 6, but 16 I mused would be the perfect position. After playing ring-around-the-Hilton, I cosmically ended up 16th in line. I met lovely people who helped pass the time and distract me somewhat from the cold. Eight a.m.: cue the Superheroes, the decked out Granny with Charmin on her fanny, the truck driver named Mr. Whipple, the interpretive dancer… My homemade “DiamondWeave” jewelry collection no longer seemed too over the top. I donned it with a new confidence. At 10 am we were ushered inside to make some Charmin magic. On pins and needles and sixth in line for my audition room I began with what felt like nervous banter, but as I sensed the encouragement and openness from the panel I settled in. I sang my parody “DiamondWeave’s A Girl’s Best Friend.” They gave me a pink callback slip and I felt like Charlie with my golden ticket. The callback was even more grounded and exhilarating. We chatted and laughed, and I performed numbers 1 and 2 from my Charmin Cabaret. As I walked out feeling as light as Ultra Soft, I looked down and found a lucky penny.

The waiting was without a doubt the WORST part of the process! I was lovingly presented with a package of Stay Ultra Strong ”Good Luck Charmin.” I taped the lucky penny to it and as the days went on with no word I admit sheepishly I began to sleep clutching my good luck charms. Finally! A phone call telling me I was STILL IN THE RUNNING to become a Charmin Ambassador?! Later that evening in Times Square, directly across the street from the Charmin Restrooms, I kid you not, a pigeon gave me its “blessing” right smack dab in the middle of my left cheek! I was stunned and hoped Italians were right about the unpleasantness being a lucky omen. Where was the Charmin when I needed it?! Just as permanent nervous nausea was setting in, I received the official phone call asking me to join “The Go Team” as a Charmin Ambassador! I told Amy on the other end of the line that she had made my day. Who knew toilet paper could bring such bliss? I got the job! ...and bronchitis. I am psyched and honored to take this opportunity and “go with it!”