“Chicago Fire ” recap (1.12): “There’s the culprit.”

Previously on Chicago Fire everything was unicorns and rainbows in celebration of Shay doing what Cat McKenzie couldn’t and living through getting hit by a truck while gay. Severide asked for help, Shay moved back in with him, and Mills and Dawson played doctor.

We pick up where we left off last week, with Gabriela Dawson. She’s waking up in bed and Mills is missing. She panics, not because he’s gone but because she wants to double check that she’s just as smoking hot as she was the night before. Yep still insanely gorgeous.

She pops out of bed and puts on one of those absurd mishmash of clothes that you would only see during sorority hazing but totally works in a “I just got laid and can’t think about anything at all” kind of way. I’ll just be over here pondering the falling off the shoulder sweater and sexy as hell boxer briefs. Anyway, Mills is in the kitchen making Dawson a veggie scramble because he knows she’s actually a lesbian (exhibit A has to be the boxer briefs). She’s kind of mean to him and talks about how drunk she was and how whenever she drinks wine this shit happens. Look, we know, he’s not your thing. Of course you had to be drunk to hook up with him while you are in love with Shay.

To think I could have shared the wine and sex with Shay instead.

She makes it clear he shouldn’t tell because, she’s a lesbian and this sleeping with dudes thing is really cramping her dating life, and he says he can keep a secret so no worries. She feels bad and kisses him good-bye.

There’s cheering, girls throwing their underwear, and fireworks exploding because Shay’s back! Through the magical world of medicine in which privacy laws are for losers, painkillers are like Halloween candy, and a guy with a broken neck is still walking around not looking like Nearly Headless Nick, Shay bounces through the door with no bruises, scratches, or residual effects of any kind. I’m not saying that time is wonky on this show but let’s just mention that if this the day after the Milson sexy times it’s also the day after Shay looked rougher than an Orc in Lord of the Rings and now she’s back to her swoon inducing self in what, twelve hours? Clearly, she’s got the healing powers of a slayer. I’d totally watch Shay the Vampire Slayer as long as Boden is her watcher.

Dawson is the only one to walk over and give her a hug. It’s a little bit long for the usual straight girl hug but maybe she’s trying to say “sorry I fed your dinner to Peter Mills and then got drunk on the wine we were supposed to drink and then gave him the sex I was saving for you.” A hug can say all that, right?

It’s totally normal to close your eyes when you’re hugging your platonic, totally not in love with her, best friend.

The guys ask about her head and she says it’s “still hard as ever, that’s what he said” and we know she’ll be fine because it’s inappropriate and funny. Otis hands her a gift and it’s a red football helmet. Look, I’ve always thought that Shay and our Secretary of State have a lot in common from blond hair, a great sense of humor, an understanding the chicks rule everything, and some killer swagger, but the football helmet puts it over the top. Shay puts the thing on, because she’s not one of those annoying girls who would worry that it would screw up her hair, and man does she look adorable. It’s too big and the chinstrap is all wonky and it’s like some crazy teenage lesbian dream I didn’t even know I had.

Dawson is getting coffee and Mills appears like any of a number of creepy, Alan Rickman, characters to hand Dawson two sugar packets. It’s sort of sweet and sort of really creepy. Either she’ll find it endearing or she’ll end up with a restraining order by the next episode.

Before we can decide on the creepy vs cute question as it pertains to Mills, and the team is off to an abandoned trailer. It’s locked and they have no clue what’s in it until Casey taps and something taps back. They break it open and a horrible smell comes pouring out. It’s full of people, most of whom are dead, except for Rosa. Dawson speaks to Rosa in Spanish and honestly, I would watch this thing with subtitles if they would just let Dawson do the whole thing in Spanish.

They rush Rosa to the hospital, she’s the only survivor from the truck, and Dawson speaks to her some more and when the doctors say they have to call immigration Rosa freaks and slips Dawson a piece of paper with “Ernesto” and a phone number on it.

Back at the station Severide is hanging out and Chief Boden asks him if he needs anything. Severide says that he’s totally fine if you ignore the broken neck and the addiction to pain meds. Chief Boden has the intuition and ability to read people like a “psychic” on late night television. Either that or her is a first rate legilimens and everyone in the house needs to have “remedial potions” with Snape if they ever want to hide anything.

Casey asks if anyone has seen Cruz, because this is the day when Cruz was either supposed to say nothing to Casey or take a trip to the station to talk to the nice police officers about the gang leader he let burn to death. Instead Cruz is home cutting up an apple and deciding to cut a hole in his hand as well. For the first time ever I can say thankfully Leon walks in and talks to his brother can do more damage. Leon, free from Flaco, has signed up for classes at what I assume is high school. Big brother looks really proud. Actually, he looks like he just stabbed himself in the hand and is guilt ridden over, you know, letting a dude die in a fire.

Shay catches up with Severide in the garage and asks him how it went with Boden. Severide is all smiles and tell her that his shoulder didn’t even hurt a bit when he snapped the lock in the trailer full of smuggled immigrants. So, it’s totally cool, if I don’t tell dad that I’m hurt, right? Shay reminds him that she only moved back in because he promised to come clean. Between his runaround and the food/win/sexcapades she missed out on over at Dawson’s place I think Shay might have made a big mistake here. In the words of Vivian to the bitches of Rodeo Drive “big mistake, huge!”