George: I have no doubt that you saw him, but what really happened is when you saw him you were so scared shitless that you crashed your precious 10 Speeder into the stop sign, bumped your head on the crub and probably scared him half to the death in the process! All right, that's what really happened, isn't it? ISN'T IT?

Bicycle Man: [anguished] Yes!

Ernie: Hey, Dad. What if it's him?

George: Who?

Ernie: Bigfoot.

George: Bigfoot... ?

Ernie: Holy shit! Sorry, Dad.

George: That's okay, I was looking for the right words.

George: What are you looking for?

Man: Guns, just any gun!

George: We've got some big guns and some big-big guns. But I'm afraid I'm all out of big-big ammo!

George: I'm working with assholes.

After Harry pets a chinchilla, he sees it a fur. Thinking it has died, Harry runs outside to bury it in the backyard

Sarah: Is that not the pelt Grandma left you, Mom?

Ernie: He must think it died and is giving it a funeral.

Nancy: It was already dead when Grandma gave it to me.

Ernie: Already dead? Who killed it?

Nancy: Well, I did not kill, nor did Grandma kill it. Some rancher killed it...to make money.

George: He walked into our kitchen and was eating out of our refrigerator. I thought we were going eat me, but he ate our daughter's corsage and then ate our goldfish!

Sergeant: And where is he now, Mr. Henderson?

George: In the bathroom.

Sergeant: Oh, of course. How stupid of me.

George: [on the phone] No, no. No Bigfoot here, Sergeant. I was just joking. It's just a prank. Uh, I'm not even George Henderson. You must have reached the wrong number.

[hangs up]

George: We're on our own.

Mr. Henderson: Son, I need your artistic skills to make a scary Bigfoot poster. This Bigfoot scare is good for us, we are going to move all our stock as every man in Seattle will be looking to us for firearms. We will call ourself Bigfoot Headquarters, BHQ!

Nancy: How is going George?

George: Lousy. This poster is all wrong. I am going to do a new one of an actual depiction of being peaceful, the way Harry actually is.

Nancy: I think that is a good idea.

George: I cannot understand my father. When I was a little boy one year the entire autumn I begged him to give me a paint set for Christmas. But what did I get, a BB gun!

Unknown to anyone, Harry later finds George's first poster, showing an enraged, violent Sasquatch and realizes this is how society views him

Wallace: I'm going to say this once. Going to say it simple. And I hope to God for your sakes you all listen. There are no Abominable Snowmen. There are no Sasquatches. There are no Big Feet!

[the family begins to giggle. Unbeknownst to Wrightwood, Harry is standing right behind him]

Wallace: Am I missing something?

Wallace: So, what you're saying is you would be willing. Excuse me, Jack would be willing to take in this creature and care for it and love it like a pet?