written at
27th august 2006, by Misura, in reply to a meme-challenge made in my
livejournal by Fickle Priestess which offered the pairing Ishizu/Mai
and the line: "Stay away from my wardrobe!"

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"No, Malik, I have -not-
seen your necklace-of-a-thousand-purple-and-green-stones,"
Ishizu said, unsuccessfully trying to close the door to her room in
Malik's face. "Or
your brooch-of-a-thousand-fake-pearls."

"But I wore it last with
-your- sexy green top!" Malik declared, his foot still firmly
wedged in the door-opening. "So, obviously, it's your fault I
can't find it anywhere!"

Ishizu sighed.
Sometimes, it was very hard not to blame their father for not
teaching Malik the meanings of words like 'grown-up' and 'masculine'.
Of course, Odion was as much to blame; with the way he doted on
Malik, it was hardly a miracle Malik still acted like a five-year-old
most of the time.

"Have you asked Odion?"
Ishizu didn't like feeling like she was throwing Odion to the
proverbial lions - or lion-cub, in this case - but she assured
herself he deserved it. Besides, he'd probably be glad of a chance to
help 'Master Malik'.

"Yes, and he doesn't know
either. He suggested I went to check your wardrobe." Malik tried
to force the door further open, and nearly met with success this
time, due to Ishizu being too stunned to react.

"Odion said -what-?"
How dared he! As if it wasn't bad enough that Malik walked around in
-her- clothes more often than not, 'because those things should be
worn by someone with actual sex-appeal'.

"I don't see why you're
being so difficult about this," Malik huffed. "It's not
like you've got Shadi hidden in there or something like that. You're
-boring-, Ishizu."

Actually, Shadi -had- popped out
of her wardrobe once, in the middle of the night. He'd mumbled
something about testing some newly-discovered ability of the Sennen
Key, but he'd been too busy staring at Ishizu in her nightgown to
make much sense. She'd kicked him back into her wardrobe within five
minutes, sweetly suggesting he'd try and pick a different destination
for his next experiment.

"Well, I'd rather be boring
than ... than be -you-," Ishizu sputtered.

"Ouch. That was a good one."
Malik at last managed to slip past her guard. "I have to
remember that one for the next time when Bakura comes visiting
again."

"Bakura is a polite,
well-behaved young man," Ishizu said, her tone implying that
Malik was anything but.

"Being a tomb-robber and a
shop-lifter is hardly cool," Ishizu sniffed.

"What do -you- know about
being cool?" Malik snorted, fiddling about with the lock that
Ishizu had put on her wardrobe after the incident with Shadi.

"More than you!"
Ishizu grabbed Malik's ear. "Now,
I'm going to say this one more time: stay away from my wardrobe. Do
you understand me?"

"Oooodioooon!"
Malik shrieked. "Heeeelp!"

Ishizu decided
she'd accept that as a 'yes', and dragged him to the door, making
sure to lock it behind him. She really did hope she'd find a cheap
but clean apartment soon. Every day she stayed here, she felt like
she was losing a little bit of her sanity.

The door to her wardrobe swung
open and Joey peeked out a bit nervously. "Is he gone?"

"Yes, for the moment."
Ishizu sagged down on her couch.

"No offense, Ishizu, but
your little brother's a bit of a fruitcake, if you ask me." Joey
shook his head.

"Coming from you, that's
slightly alarming." Mai brushed some imaginative dust off her
clothes as she exited the wardrobe. "I mean, knowing how you
feel about food and all."

"Well, that all depends on
whether or not you consider American food 'real' food, I suppose.
Personally, I'm a bit dubious, but by -your- standards ... " Mai
offered Joey a sweet smile.

"I so have standards! Ask
Kaiba, if you don't believe me!" Joey raised his fist in a
gesture that was obviously meant to be impressive, but that ended
with his arm getting tangled in one of Ishizu's more-ribbon-than-lace
dresses. "Argh! Get this thing off me!"

"Kaiba told me the two of
you end up making out whenever you lose a duel to him," Mai
informed him, with a slight smirk at Joey's outraged expression.
"Actually, he used a term that was a lot more x-rated than mere
making out, but I know you well enough to realize he was
exaggerating. Besides, Kaiba's far too stuck-up to be getting any."

"I'm going to kill him!"
Joey growled. "I'm going to - "

"You are going to come out
of my wardrobe, -without- causing any further damage, sit down and
-listen- to me, Joey Wheeler," Ishizu said firmly.

"What she said, buster,"
Mai nodded, looking at Joey struggling with the ribbons for a while
before she went over and helped him untangle himself.

"Anyway."
Ishizu cleared her throat. "No
doubt you have also noticed that Mai is here, too. In my room."

"Yeah. She's
kind of hard to miss, if you know what I mean. Is this going
anywhere?" Joey yawned.

"We're an item, Joey,"
Ishizu said, her tone as gentle as she could make it. "I know
you care greatly for Mai yourself, so we thought it would be better
to tell you in person than to wait for the media to pick the story
up."

"Huh?" Joey blinked.

"We're in love, you doofus!"
Mai snapped.

"Now, wait a second!
Whaddaya mean: we? I sure never said anything like that!" Joey
raised his hands in a defensive gesture. "You're pretty hot and
all, Mai, but that doesn't mean - "

"Oh, for crying out loud!
It's not you and me who are in love!
It's me and Ishizu, you fool!" Mai groaned and turned to Ishizu.
"I knew he wouldn't get it. He's hopeless."

"Hey!" Joey protested.
"Just because I need a couple of seconds to work things out, it
doesn't mean I'm an idiot!" He frowned. "So ... you, Mai,
and you, Ishizu, are both in love?"