Why You Should Totally Disagree With Me

So there you are, watching one of my videos or reading one of my blog posts, and suddenly you realize that something I’ve said totally rubs you the wrong way. You somewhat, completely or vehemently disagree with me. Watch today’s video to find out why that means that you’re totally doing something right.

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Coaching Call #201 has been released! The topic of this week’s call is: She Is A Mom Of Two Autistic Children Who Is Struggling With It All.

This caller has two Autistic children and she’s having a really hard time coping with it all at. She thinks that on some level she caused this condition in her youngest son because she pushed against Autism so much before he was born.

She fears that her youngest son feels rejected, because when she separated from her husband he went to live with his dad. She struggles with disciplining her eldest son, who lives with her, and with trying to get him to do things for himself in spite of his Autism.

Can she find a way to ease the strain and help her sons to live a life, one that works for both them and her?

This call is for you if you’re struggling to cope with being a parent and you want to find a solution that works for everybody involved.

Video:

Transcript:

Hey my Happy Shiny Puppies! I’m Melody Fletcher, author of Deliberate Receiving: Finally the Universe makes some freaking sense!, home of all things Law of Attraction, reality creation and going on down the rabbit hole.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been taking this blog and these videos in a slightly different direction. We’ve been talking about ascension, the rising energy of the Universe and the beliefs that are still holding us back. In last week’s video, I demonstrated how this rising energy is also bringing up all kinds of fears, some of which can lead to some uncomfortable and seemingly ugly manifestations – a kind of purging of the world’s toxins, if you will. But I demonstrated this point by talking about a very controversial topic – the U.S. presidential election, and some of specific players involved.

Now, a video like that was bound to ruffle some feathers and bring up a lot of secondary questions. I did my best to disclaimer the shit out of it, but, as was inevitable, many people still felt that I’d kind of stepped on their toes. And that means that this week is the perfect time for me to tackle today’s topic: why you disagreeing with me and even sometimes being offended by me is totally normal, inevitable and actually a really good thing. Let me explain:

It’s about building bridges

First of all, I consider myself first and foremost a translator of energy. This means that what I offer isn’t so much my opinion, as my interpretation of a higher vibration. Accessing this higher vibration is something I’ve trained myself to do, but something all of you can do, as well. Now, since it’s my interpretation, this means that my way of expressing myself, my vocabulary, my level of understanding, my intelligence or limitation thereof, my sense of humor and my life experiences and stories are all going to play into that translation. This makes my translation unique to me, even if the underlying “wisdom” isn’t. It’s like I’m explaining math using my own analogies. The analogies are mine, but the concept of math isn’t.

So, what exactly am I translating when I answer a question? The answer that this particular question, the energy of this particular question, elicits. That means that I’m answering the question from the point of energy from which it was asked. The way I see it, I build a bridge from wherever that question is to a higher vibrational place. So, if a question is asked from a place of fear, I address that fear, while offering a better feeling perspective. If a question centers around a very specific fear, I address that fear specifically. This kind of makes me different from a lot of teachers out there. I’m willing to go where you are.

Here’s the drawback:

That does, however, have a massive drawback: Whenever I get specific, there’s a risk that I’ll exclude any listener who doesn’t resonate with the exact details of the question or answer. Let’s say if you’re in New York and I want to guide you to Los Angeles, and another person also wants to go to L.A., but is currently in Chicago, that second person might not recognize that we’re going where they want to, because we’re not starting where they are. It’s up to them to realize that they can jump on that bus to L.A. in Chicago, even though it’s coming from New York.

In other words, if the specifics of a question and the specifics of an answer don’t resonate with you, you might disregard the underlying message, even though that message, if wrapped in different details, would be totally satisfying to you.

This is why it’s inevitable that you’re going to sometimes disagree with me. Not every answer will be specifically tailored to you. You might be reading an older blog post that once resonated with you, but now it doesn’t ring true anymore. The energy of that answer and from what point of attraction it was elicited and where you are now, are no longer a match. Sometimes the question is asked from a place of duality – meaning the question assumes that there’s a right and wrong way to see things. In that case, I might have to do quite a bit of soothing before I can ever address that judgment, so I’ll address the question from a place of duality – with this judgment in place – in order to begin building a bridge where that person is at. If I answered the question from where I’m at, a place of non-duality, non-judgment and generality, my words wouldn’t make any sense to the person who asked the question. Sure, there’s a whole group of people out there who would love that answer, but they’re not the ones being addressed in that particular moment. They can ask their own question and elicit their own answer.

If my answer triggers you…

Sometimes, I’ll use an example that rubs you the wrong way, even though those examples are totally arbitrary. They’re meaningless, until we assign them meaning. And when I use an example, I usually stick to the meaning that the majority of those who will be reading it (or watching it) assign to it – this is the energy that comes through, unless I’m speaking privately to only one person. There’s no such thing as a perfect metaphor or analogy. It’s always unique to every individual. So, when I answer a question publicly, it’s never going to hit home for 100% of those who read it.

For example, last week I talked about Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders in order to make a point. For many people, that point hit home – it helped them feel better and soothed a lot of fears around the election. But for some, it actually brought up a lot of anger. They began to focus on the details they disagreed with, instead of looking for the underlying message. And that was their choice; it’s always our choice. Now, before you think that this sounds judgmental – it’s not. This is something that happens to all of us when we get triggered. And I don’t mind sometimes serving as that trigger. It kind of comes with the territory.

But let’s get back to my point – my second point, which is: whatever you hear is your manifestation. How you feel about what you hear is your manifestation. In other words, your experience, all of it, is your manifestation. So, if you’re offended, rubbed the wrong way, or just slightly uncomfortable about something you hear someone say, that’s your manifestation. Now notice, I’m not saying that it’s your own fault, as in “if you’re hurt by what I said, that’s your own fault”, although someone out there will undoubtedly hear it that way. What I’m saying is that you manifested this experience, you heard what you heard for a reason. You reacted the way you did for a reason. And it’s a good reason, a helpful reason; it’s a gift specifically and uniquely tailored to you. Whatever you hear, or see, or experience is your energy being mirrored back to you. It’s a conversation you’re having with your own higher self, filtered through your own vibration, which includes some limiting beliefs. Those limiting beliefs are going to distort this communication in uncomfortable ways, and it’s this discomfort which gets your attention. It alerts you to the fact that something is off.

If something has upset you, ask yourself why. Don’t focus so much on the words that were said, but on what you heard, knowing full well that the two probably aren’t going to be the same. I mean, haven’t you ever experienced someone hearing something completely different from what you said? It happens all the time. If you were triggered by something, what did these words mean to you? What inner dialogue was sparked by what you heard?

Own your energy!

For example, someone might say something innocuous to you, like “I don’t like McDonalds” or “I can’t understand why anyone would poison their body with such garbage”. But you happen to have grown up on McDonalds; maybe your family ate it occasionally; maybe you still do; maybe you live on the stuff and you’re healthy as an ox. So, when this person expresses their opinion, which is totally arbitrary, by the way, as far as you’re concerned, what you hear is “Your parents (whom you love) were irresponsible and bad. You’re a bad parent if you give your kids a cheeseburger, even every once in a while. Your opinion doesn’t matter, because you don’t agree that fast food is poison. You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re completely powerless in this conversation” or any number of other deprecating and ugly statements.

What was said is irrelevant. That’s just the trigger. What’s important is what you heard. Where did that inner dialogue come from? Why are you choosing to hold on to it? What dialogue would you like to have instead?

Question this inner dialogue! Don’t just accept it as true. And do your best not to give your power to the person who said the words. Take responsibility for your reaction and by doing so, take your power back. This isn’t about you blaming yourself, but rather freeing yourself from the shackles of your limiting beliefs.

So, if everything you hear is your manifestation, does this mean that you can’t listen to teachers anymore? Well, yes and no. Of course you can listen to teachers. Listen to whatever gets your attention. But evaluate and take responsibility for everything you hear. If something I or someone else says feels good to you, go with it. If it doesn’t, disregard it. Or, if you have a reaction to something I say, take a look at that – not in an effort to agree with me, but in an effort to free yourself from the reaction. If the perspective that I’ve offered doesn’t feel good to you, figure out which point of view does feel good to you. If the details of my analogy or metaphor don’t work for you, change them until they do! It’s your vibration; it’s your energy. Own it!

Bottom line

So, here’s the bottom line: you can and you should disagree with me whenever you do. You can’t help how you feel. In that moment, you can’t help your reaction. Own that and work with it. The goal is never to agree with me, it’s to find your way to who you really are; it’s to resonate at your own, unique, pure energy; it’s to find the perspective that works for you.

I’m happy to play with you wherever you’re at, and I’m so honored to get to be a part of your journey. I can’t even describe how fun it is for me to answer your questions, and I trust – fully and completely – that whatever questions make it into my reality are perfect. Which is why I don’t try to direct at which “level” I answer questions. It’s all fair game. I’ll build the bridge from wherever you are, and I’ll build an infinite number of bridges. It’s my favorite thing in the whole world.

And with that, I want to thank you for being in my reality, and for being part of my game, and my evolution; just as I’m a part of yours.

And now, I want to hear from you. Have you ever disagreed with anything I or someone else has said? Has it led you to a deeper understanding that ultimately felt better to you? Share your story in the comments and let others witness and benefit from your process.

For now, I’m Melody Fletcher. Huge hugs to all of you and see you next week. Bye!

About the Author

Thanks Melody. I’ve often said that life is our best teacher. It unfailingly points out where we are still holding resistance, over and over again.

I’m not so sure its happened to me where someone specific rubs me the wrong way. Sometimes their path and my path diverge, so I stop following them. This happening to me a few years ago, where a personal development “guru” of sorts started to go in a direction I wasn’t comfortable with. I just took it as a sign that our paths were meant to go in different directions now. I think we always find those people who can best help us on our paths in the moment.

1) Have you ever translated something that surprised you, or that you yourself disagreed with or found triggering?

2) I have so often had the experience of not understanding something or even finding it upsetting, and then later realizing that I understood more of it and found it soothing. I remember the first couple of times I heard Abraham say that in their view, wedding vows should be something like “Let’s see how it goes!” I found that unsettling: how unsafe and unpredictable and unloving that sounded! Now my perspective has really changed and I find it to sound charming and fun. So at this point, when I hear someone I otherwise think is right on say something that pushes my buttons, I tend to try to sort of bookmark that idea to come back to later, rather than railing against it.

(Or sometimes I hear something and it just doesn’t resonate with me – it doesn’t really make me upset, I just feel like “No”, like recently I saw a teacher speak who was heavily into motivation and hard work, which doesn’t feel right to me. But I don’t really feel like I want to argue with that person, I just kind of edit it out as I’m listening to the other cool stuff they’re saying. I assume that this is not so resistant?)

3) I JUST sent you a note asking for good coaching calls to listen to (or a blog post idea) about “everything is your manifestation” – I’ve read your book 3x and every time I feel like I peel back another layer of understanding, right now this is where I’m ????. This post makes me wonder if I’m on the verge of glimpsing (the edge of) the answer. I think I now pretty much get that everything is my manifestation, so if, as in my example, a pleasant progression of manifestation I’d been having suddenly threw up a big block of resistance I didn’t realize I had, that’s FOR me, a gift, rather than something being done TO me that I have to suffer through. In this case I think I now am starting to see that the block of resistance (“hey, turns out your possible dream town is, some people think, due for a freaking natural disaster”) is about a fear of suffering I didn’t realize I had, a defensive vibrational posture, and a sort of fear of… of the power of LOA? Like, who am I to confidently declare that this is MY reality and that I am not going to have any suffering because of natural disasters? Is that allowed? Will I be kicked out of the tribe? IS THIS DELUSIONAL?

I feel better having identified those underlying elements, but they both seem like such big issues that I also feel sort of daunted about shifting them, emotionally. Like at the other end of shifting that stuff, will I believe I’m a magical wizard? I’m not sure I’m ready for that!

I have sometimes felt turned off by the happy shiny puppy aesthetic. It’s just not my style. Sure I like dogs, I’m definitely down with dogs, but the shiny puppy thing isn’t really my idea of what the highest best vibration feels like to me. BUT, that being said, being aware of this has helped me figure out what it is I really am into. It’s helped me redefine and figure out and discover what the things are in my life are that represent a high vibration for ME.

Melody, I really enjoyed this video. It was great and I feel happy to share a story but please be warned, this comment contains some personal drama.
Here goes: So, I get rubbed the wrong way (very funny idiom) quite often and I’m only starting to realize that it’s nobody’s fault (especially not mine, haha), it’s just my own PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIENCE. Here’s an example: Just this evening, my husband said to me, “You’re ugly and you look like a maid” because I told him to cut down on beer and potato chips. He probably “heard” me say to him that he’s ugly when I simply said I think you should cut down on beer and potato chips, but I didn’t mean anything. I guess it was just in my head, that beer and potato chips aren’t good or something like that and someone(or me) put it there sometime. And because he “heard” me call him ugly, he called me ugly. Anyway, if he called me ugly three years ago, I would’ve said something really mean back to him. But then, today, I simply didn’t react and I didn’t even realize he had said something mean until I watched this video and Melody, you asked to tell a story. So, I searched my brain for some story and this recent story came up. When I didn’t react he also stomped off in a huff(wow, this is really beginning to sound like a story), and said, “I’m going for a walk”. And I said, okay. I never thought something like that would have mostly a zero effect on me (mostly a zero because I did recall it so it may have bothered me on some level). Okay, so, I conclude:
He probably thinks I’m ugly or he thinks he’s ugly but I think I’m quite lovely and I think he’s a little ugly, at least not as much as he thinks he is. He probably thinks maids are ugly and I don’t. So when he said you’re ugly and look like a maid, my brain did a speedy search to retrieve info to see if I should run or fight, and the answer I got was nothing. So, my brain found nothing in the archives of its memory that said, “Run, run, danger, danger.” or “fight, fight” (of course, nature’s gift to protect me). Neither did it find any memory to compare with (I’ve yet to meet an ugly maid.) So, maybe if I did think I was ugly or if I had a memory of a maid who I thought was ugly, I would’ve had a different psychological experience.
Okay, this was an easy one to decode but sometimes I don’t even know why some things bother me and I think I’ve got to dig deeper and be more honest with myself. I think it also boils down to how honest I’m being with myself. Thanks Melody! I hope I didn’t digress (because I tend to sometimes, so if I did, sorry) and I hope I shared a relevant story and treated this space with the respect it deserves. 🙂 <3

Am I safe to say most higher figures in our world need help in figuring
how to do things better !you see. They may need to be retrained into
seeing not into the FUTURE so muchly …Or for that matter in the PAST.
BUT in the NOW ! More solely…

However in some recordings I hear a sort of ‘Dr Phil tone’ in your voice Melody. Sort of like “What are you doing???!”. Of course it’s well intentioned, but when people are afraid, they can be very, very vulnerable. Vulnerability must be carefully respected…. please.

I was a little worried about you stepping into the political arena last post and after today’s post, I hope my worries are not warranted. Is anyone harassing you??? If so, just say the word and me and my legion will kick their ass because you are such a wonderful gift to all! All levity aside, today’s post was beautifully said and brought tears to my eyes. I love you, Melody Fletcher. yeah, I’ve got a girl crush goin’ on. (Don’t be alarmed or anything. I will be 65 years old in June and I have been married to my husband, Frank for 44 years!) Sending you huge shiny puppy hugs anyway!

As one of the people who was “triggered” by last week’s post, I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so personally involved in one of your posts as I do today (and actually, I feel honored by this) :p

I’m totally aware that my own reaction is based entirely on, and reflective of, where my own vibration is at: I more or less work in politics, it’s a job that involves a lot of arguing with people you disagree with, and occasionally even a sense that ‘everyone is against you’ (in my case, everywhere I look there seems someone venerating Sanders and vilifying Trump).

But I know this is a reflection of me, and I shouldn’t be surprised that my political life (and my related sense of isolation/holding an unpopular opinion) has managed to follow me everywhere, even here!

But beyond that metaphor not resonating so much, I’m not sure I’ve ever really disagreed with anything you said – although I do recall a post from a few years back about using LOA to get over break-ups resonating with me very strongly after a break-up, then not so much when I got into a new relationship, and now that I’m single again resonates strongly again.

(Actually that was the very article that brought me here, and I’ve been following you ever since – even if I’ve only left three comments in all those years, one of which was just me moaning….)

Hey Melody, I’ve been wanting to ask you a question that kinda relates to this. But I wasn’t sure if I should send an email – along with the deluge of other emails you get, so maybe this is a good place. I have been paying attention to events and remembering to come to the happier feeling and it’s really been improving my life and my spouses. (thanks to your bonus chapter, really).

My question is how does this relate to our subconscious? You mentioned it briefly (?) in your book I think it was in the part about the blank wall. But you are the only teacher I’ve come across who hasn’t talked so much about the subconscious. Is our subconscious the guy that sends up our feelings to let us know where we’re at? Is it the heart that you mentioned a few blogs ago?

Sometimes I’ll loudly claim my intentions to see how they resonate and to practice listening for inner blocks – how I feel or just to let the universe know, I don’t know. Shortly after that events happen, like one time I banged my head opening the car door, or I’ll inadvertently hurt myself. So, I think – okay I must be carrying shame and unworthiness about that. Or was the universe just telling me to shut up already.? Other times the sun literally comes out and I can smell someone barbecuing.

Were those my subconscious telling me or was it just the universe bouncing back on me? The universe in this situation being the painting I’ve laid out there so far from before?

How much is the universe an active player? Doesn’t it seem sometimes that things just bounce right in front of you. Almost like it’s to see how bad you want something. You’ve said that people put out negative vibrations, what happens to that stuff out there – can people get caught in it until they move on if they’re aware of it or get stuck in that thing that bounced in front of them without knowing it wasn’t their fault.

Or is this a limiting belief all mixed up? Sorry if this is hard for you to read. It’s a confusing topic for me.

Melody, I not only appreciate your message but also your style. You make LOA fun and interesting. I tried to get into Abraham Hicks a number of years ago but just couldn’t relate to their “style” of communicating. You are down-to-earth and relatable and deep. I happen to like when a mentor/teacher triggers me to look at myself, my reactions, my beliefs (limiting especially). It doesn’t always feel good initially but if I am honest with myself and take the time to self-examine, I am much better for it. I love your videos and LOVE your book! Happy shiny puppy hugs to you!

I don’t really recall ever disagreeing with anything I’ve read on here, in your book, or in the calls I’ve listened to. There seem to be very few LOA teachers that I’ve encountered that I agree with nearly 100% of the time. You seem to be one of them Melody. 🙂

If I read something by someone that I disagree with (and in the past I have usually agreed with what they say) I examine it and see if what they said makes any sense to me. I try to see if there is an underlying message that I’ve been ignoring or a belief that I’ve held that needs “upgrading”. If I really just don’t agree, I move on. I just assume it’s something that isn’t true for me.

I’m still trying to learn to stop letting my emotions go crazy when something really does irritate me. It is very important to stop and ask why something bothered you so much.

I’m still figuring this out, but when I do remember to stop and ask myself why (instead of getting all bent out of shape) I usually find the answer pretty quickly and then when I figure out the underlying cause, I’m suddenly not upset anymore.

I used to get upset thinking about people who support Trump. Like how could they??? But after some thought (triggered by last week’s post by the way 🙂 ) I realize that none of it is wrong. No one is “wrong” for supporting Trump. No one is “wrong” for supporting Hilary. No one is “wrong” for supporting Sanders. I think in the end, we all want the same thing……a better world and to feel better ourselves. Some people hear what Trump says and they feel better. Some hear what Sanders says and feel better. Some hear Clinton and feel better. There is no right or wrong candidate because when it’s all said and done, none of them have the power to create in our reality unless we allow them to. Plus, I don’t think the president has that much power anyway…..but that’s a whole other story.

At any rate, it’s all good. All well and good. I’m going to keep doing my thing no matter who gets in office. 🙂

I’ve never commented publicly but been following you for years. Anyway I disagree with you about how we shouldn’t discuss age because it’s not who we really are. I am obsessed with people’s ages. I’m very spiritually drawn to when people tell me their ages; for example, I felt such a bond with a woman who spontaneously told me she was 53. The problem is other people don’t feel that bond and find it rude to ask ages. There can’t be a bond if only one person feels it but I feel it so strongly and think about ages all the time. Thoughts? Thanks!

I have a question about releasing anger / powerlessness. I know that I mustn’t get angry at myself, but is it okay if I get angry at my body? I know that our bodies are doing everything to support us, but I feel that there is this resentment towards it, because it fails me when I set out intentions to do something.

Really good question Z! I feel the same way sometimes. Not sure what the answer is, but I think as long as the anger isn’t expressed towards yourself, it’s ok (as in, not physically harming yourself or anything like that.)

This message resonates so much with me Melody! <3 I love how it comes back to our awareness and questioning our limiting beliefs. 🙂

This might sound kind of stupid, but how do we let go of something we really want? I would really like a relationship. I don't have a particular person in mind, but I know how I'd like it to feel. I spend a lot of time visualizing it, which feels really good. I've had this desire for a long time, but it still hasn't manifested. I think that maybe, I'm just too attached and think about it too much. How to I get to the point where I am okay if I never have the relationship I'm asking for? Everyone says that you have to stop wanting it for it to manifest, but I have trouble getting there and feel anxious. When I try to feel ok with imagining my life without ever having this, it feels forced and faked. I just want to let go of this desire so it can finally come into my life.

I know you need to be happy with the emotion, and make the emotion behind what you want more important than the physical manifestation. I find it extremely difficult and need some help with that. I’m worried that I’m way too attached to my desires and that they’ll never come because of my craving and attachment.

Hi there…I understand what you mean about having a hard time not caring about whether you find love or not. It’s like you would have to force yourself to not care and that’s not how it works. What helped me when my own relationship was in turmoil was simply spending time “imagining” that I already had that perfect person. I created someone in my mind (he actually appeared in an intense “soulmate” feeling dream) and used him as the focus for that “in love feeling.” I would imagine him there all day long. When I would wake up, when I took a walk, etc. I would imagine this person near me and would let my imagination flow about how in love I felt. I would put on lovey music that triggered feelings of love and use that to close my eyes and focus on what that amazing relationship felt like. just let go and let that be enough as the only thing you really actually want are the feelings of it! Sometimes an imaginary relationship feels better than a real one as there is no drama, lol.
It feels so good to realize that you don’t even need the other person to be able to feel “in love” every single day! It all comes from within. We can choose to feel love or we can choose to feel lonely.
After a few months of doing this my own relationship improved greatly almost like magic. My husband and I finally manifested a big talk and for the next few weeks it literally felt like we were newlyweds again. I still try to bring up this feeling of “fresh, new love” as often as I can and it seems to keep my relationship so much nicer, even if my current partner might not be my “true love.” We have small kids so for now I want it to be as amazing as it can be! I know LOA will bring us exactly what we need and you have to just trust that you can’t see the big picture right now, but it will happen. There are more details being worked out than we can possibly imagine!
I heard Abraham/Ester Hicks say once, that this person you are looking for is also looking for you so take some pressure off of yourself. You are exactly who they are looking for and its so much better to wait until you are both in the best vibe you can be so LOA can match you up in the most perfect way possible. Maybe your soulmate is still working some of their own sh*t out and the timing just isn’t ready yet. But it WILL happen and it will be better than you can even imagine. 🙂
Hugs to you xo

This resonates so perfectly for me! I wish they taught this concept to kids at an early age….especially in a time where bullying occurs and self esteem can be low. This would change lives! I am so glad to have “woken up” while my kids are so little so I can at least teach them these concepts. Thank you for putting this idea into such an easy way to understand! I am in such a clear and receiving vibe today. 🙂
Big squishy hugs back to you, Melody!