If your child throws a toy ambulance down the toilet and it gets stuck in just the right spot so that you can neither plunge it down or snake it out, and you decide that the best course of action would be to physically remove the entire toilet so you can lay it on it's side, but the flange bolts are rusted so you have to cut them off, and you decide that the best tool to do so is an angle grinder, do not, for the love of all that isù precious to you, accidentally get the edge of the grinder too close to the porcelain. If you do, you might accidentally nick the porcelain. If you do accidentally nick the porcelain with the edge of a 2.5 inch angle grinder, the explosion it will cause will be spectacular, and bits of flying, sharp edged former toilet will fly with such force that you will look like you've been flogged with a cat o' nine tails and you will be repairing holes in the wall and ceiling for months afterwards (as you find even more bits embedded into said walls and ceiling).

That is some impressive destruction.

I once saw the result of a toilet being detonated in place by the bomb squad.

Your outcome sounds remarkably similar.And you did it *without* the explosives.

Well done!!

Logged

"I think her scattergun was only loaded with commas and full-stops, although some of them cuddled together for warmth and produced little baby colons and semi-colons." ~ Margo

Should you be holding a rotary cutter in such a way that your dominant hand's index finger is very close to the blade, be very careful that it does not slip further forward and hit the blade. It'll hurt, and the cut won't heal for three weeks, and you'll get blood all over the transfer paper. (Apparently that's not even how you're supposed to hold one, probably because of exactly that problem.)

Should you be holding a rotary cutter in such a way that your dominant hand's index finger is very close to the blade, be very careful that it does not slip further forward and hit the blade. It'll hurt, and the cut won't heal for three weeks, and you'll get blood all over the transfer paper. (Apparently that's not even how you're supposed to hold one, probably because of exactly that problem.)

It also does not feel good when the rotary cutter jumps over the edge of the quilter's ruler and nips off the tip of your non-dominant index finger. (At least I didn't get blood on SanityLost's wedding quilt...)

Logged

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Common sense is not a gift, but a curse. Because thenyou have to deal with all the people who don't have it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I am convinced that this is an actual thing - like if you mix selective amnesia with false bravado you get "Hot Touchy Syndrome" or something:

Microwaves and ovens make food hot. You should not touch hot food. Potholders are not just for decoration, nor are they a 'suggestion.' No matter how fast you think you are...no matter how much leeway you think your fingernail length will give you...you will hurt your fingers if you try and touch microwaved plates or bake pans without pads to hold them with. If you ignore this undeniable fact, then you are not allowed to be surprised by or complain about the pain of burnt fingertips.

Ya, don't do that. Just...just stop doing it and use potholders already.

Alternatively, aluminum cookie sheets cool off very rapidly, and once removed from the oven can be moved without a pot holder shortly after removal. However, one must remember that the stainless steel cookie sheet doesn't cool off EVER! Why I can't remember this, I don't know, but every time I touch that stupid pan, I burn my fingers.

I am convinced that this is an actual thing - like if you mix selective amnesia with false bravado you get "Hot Touchy Syndrome" or something:

Microwaves and ovens make food hot. You should not touch hot food. Potholders are not just for decoration, nor are they a 'suggestion.' No matter how fast you think you are...no matter how much leeway you think your fingernail length will give you...you will hurt your fingers if you try and touch microwaved plates or bake pans without pads to hold them with. If you ignore this undeniable fact, then you are not allowed to be surprised by or complain about the pain of burnt fingertips.

Ya, don't do that. Just...just stop doing it and use potholders already.

Alternatively, aluminum cookie sheets cool off very rapidly, and once removed from the oven can be moved without a pot holder shortly after removal. However, one must remember that the stainless steel cookie sheet doesn't cool off EVER! Why I can't remember this, I don't know, but every time I touch that stupid pan, I burn my fingers.

Now I absolutely need cookies!!! And only three days into the new year...

Do not ride your slightly lowered motorcycle over a speed bump with an embedded bar running along the top of it, even at a slow walking speed. You will hit the bar, it will rupture something in the bowels of the engine, and you will be sitting on your bike wondering why there is oil pouring all over you, the ground and your tyre. Especially, do not do this 100km from home, on New Year's Day, in an area with absolutely no mobile phone coverage.

If you do do this, be aware that it will cost a small fortune to get the bike towed somewhere safely, the bike will be in storage until the following Monday when the bike shop finally opens again, and the odds are that the actual damage to the bike will be less than your insurance excess anyway, so you will most likely end up footing the bill for the whole misadventure.

It is, however, a fabulous way to get an overdue oil change done - particularly as every single drop of oil in the engine ended up under the bike within about 2 minutes of the event. I do not advise this as the ideal way, though.

It also gets Housemate out of the house for a while, when she has to come and pick you up from Upper Outer Woop Woop. Thank heavens the gift shop were willing to let me use their landline!

My poor bike!

Logged

Out on the patio we'd sit,And the humidity we'd breathe,We'd watch the lightning crack over canefieldsLaugh and think, this is Australia.

If your child throws a toy ambulance down the toilet and it gets stuck in just the right spot so that you can neither plunge it down or snake it out, and you decide that the best course of action would be to physically remove the entire toilet so you can lay it on it's side, but the flange bolts are rusted so you have to cut them off, and you decide that the best tool to do so is an angle grinder, do not, for the love of all that isù precious to you, accidentally get the edge of the grinder too close to the porcelain. If you do, you might accidentally nick the porcelain. If you do accidentally nick the porcelain with the edge of a 2.5 inch angle grinder, the explosion it will cause will be spectacular, and bits of flying, sharp edged former toilet will fly with such force that you will look like you've been flogged with a cat o' nine tails and you will be repairing holes in the wall and ceiling for months afterwards (as you find even more bits embedded into said walls and ceiling).

That is some impressive destruction.

I once saw the result of a toilet being detonated in place by the bomb squad.

Your outcome sounds remarkably similar.And you did it *without* the explosives.

Well done!!

LOL. Thanks. Though I'd rather not repeat the show. I'm very lucky that I didn't get seriously hurt.

Ever since then, if I've needed to cut a flange bolt off, I've opted for a hacksaw blade. It's a lot slower, but without the potential destructive force.

Logged

Some people lift weights. I lift measures. It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

When you need to take a glass pan out of the oven, make sure the thin side of the potholder is covering the outer part of your hand and not any inner part. Why? Because the pan will burn you if it isn't.

Don't give your 18-month-old a smores-flavored pop-tart unless you're supervising her closely. When she drops pieces and steps on them, they look like bird poo on your carpet and they're VERY hard to get out

Be aware of where your chin is in relation to the edge of the institutional-size cookie sheet that just got taken out of the oven. The cookies were not burnt, but my chin ended up with a 2nd degree burn that is 1/2"x2" in size.