Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Full Contact Medieval Jousting

Went to the Sarasota Medieval Festival over the weekend. It was fun. The funnest part was watching the Knights of Mayhem, full contact jousting.

These guys really do gear up in armor, climb aboard massive horses, and race at each other at top speed, with solid wooden lances at the ready. The collisions are amazing.

The guy who runs this attraction is named Charlie Andrews. He goes by the name "Sir Charles" during the show, since, of course, he is supposed to be a medieval knight. Every time the announcer called him Sir Charles, I thought of Charles Barkley.

Sir Charles is a weird mix of entertainer, megalomaniac and menace to himself and others. He refers to himself, and has others refer to him, as "The World Champion of Full Contact Jousting." This is probably true, as far as it goes. But since there can't be more than a dozen people who actually participate in this sport, it doesn't go all that far.

During breaks in the action, he was hitting on a young woman in the audience, from atop his mighty steed. When her boyfriend took offense, he openly mocked the guy, and seemed to threaten to kick the guy's ass after the show. Which he could have easily done.

Charlie Andrews is around the size of your typical NFL linebacker. Big. And he was very eager to demolish his opponent, a young jouster who, as an employee of the Knights of Mayhem, actually works for none other than Charlie Andrews. How'd you like to have as your boss, a gigantic madman who every day is trying to obliterate you?

On his website, Charlie suggests that very soon, the sport of Full Contact Jousting will catch on, and he will be a household name worldwide. Hmmm. In any case, it's fun to watch.