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Comments and random musings of a fortysomething teenager

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Yeah, that's me... avert your eyes - I may take on other forms!

So this is where I’m supposed to talk about myself. Those of who who have bothered to look have probably guessed that it’s not one of my favorite things to do; while I can ramble endlessly about things like Star Wars (Han shot FIRST, DAMMIT!) or video games or Shaun of the Dead or Kevin Smith (I have an over 2500 word post about that motherfucker! Call me a fanboy, I dare ya!), I’ve never been terribly good at spouting off about myself, preferring to let my personality and interests show through my writing, I suppose.

Or, perhaps I’m just lazy. I’ll go with the first one, it seems more noble.

So, what to say about Yours Truly…

At the time of this writing (September 15, 2011), I’m fat, I’m in my 40’s (43 to be exact), I’m twice divorced and the father of a twenty-two year old son named Aaron. I’m also a sort of stepfather for two other boys – Cody (20) and Nathan (18). Their mom and I have been together since 1996 so, although we’ve never legally married, I guess that kind of makes me “Dad” in a few ways. The seem to think of me as such and most of the time I won’t go into the whole “these are my stepsons” routine like I just did. As far as I’m concerned usually, I have three sons (but I don’t look a thing like Fred McMurray!), and they’re now technically all grown men.

God, I feel old sometimes.

Except, also, I don’t. A big part of this blog and my general existence is based upon the fact that I consider myself a middle-aged teenager. Can such a thing exist? I think it can and I’m it. I’m still just as much about Video Games, Science Fiction and Horror films, Star Wars, and Magic: The Gathering as I was when I was fifteen (okay, not Magic so much back then as it wasn’t available until 1993 when I was 25. but you get the picture) and while some may think this represents in me some sort of arrested development, I like to believe it is my way of staying young. That’s my story and I am sticking with it.

I’m terrible at this. Couldn’t someone just interview me? I’m much better at answering questions than I am at pulling shit out of the air to talk about, especially when the subject is myself. Hey! I can interview myself! I remember reading an article by television talk show host Dick Cavett back in about 1977 or so where he did just that, so why can’t I? Okay, here goes:

Mike Triggs: So, do you do anything besides write?

Mike Triggs: Sure, lots of things. I sleep, eat, go to movies, work, piss and shit on a daily basis, jerk off almost as often…

Mike Triggs: Nice. I meant any other creative endeavors…

Mike Triggs: Oh… you can edit that last bit, right? Umm… sure I do, yeah. I am a bit of an artist, so I like to draw although I haven’t done much more than doodle lately, I also like to work in digital art mediums with 3D models and such. I’ll probably post some of my images somewhere on this site, just for the hell of it. I was working on a set of Tarot cards a few years back that I was pretty proud of, but never actually completed. Maybe I’ll get around to that one day, maybe not. I also create digital music… techno/trance kind of stuff, just for the fun of it. Again I may put some of it on the site. I like to animate in Flash, but haven’t done a hell of a lot of it… oh and I edit video as well. I once dreamed of being a filmmaker, so a lot of that stems from those interests, I guess. I dabble in the occasional web design and graphic art/design also – sometimes taking on projects as a sideline to my “real” job. Because I’m entirely self-taught and never went to school for that sort of thing, it hasn’t been easy to get an actual gig doing it.

Mike Triggs: How did you teach yourself to do that kind of stuff?

Mike Triggs: How does anyone these days? By stealing software off the internet. Why do you think Photoshop costs so damn much? Because assholes like me know how to get it for free.

Mike Triggs: Is that really the sort of thing you should admit to in a public forum?

Mike Triggs: Don’t sweat it, nobody’s reading this shit anyway.

Mike Triggs: You talk a lot about video games. What are some of your favorites?

Mike Triggs: It might be easier to answer what I don’t play. My favorites right now are still the Gears of War series (GoW3 on 9/20, bitches!), RPGs like the Final Fantasy and Elder Scrolls series, shooters like Call of Duty and Battlefield, and, God… tons of others.

Mike Triggs: If you could pick five people – living or dead – to sit down and have dinner with, just to get an hour or so to pick their brains, who would it be?

Mike Triggs: This is where I’m going to be expected to say some shit like “Mahatma Ghandi” or “Nelson Mandela” so I look all impressive and humanitarian and stuff, huh? Not gonna happen. I’d probably pick Kevin Smith, Simon Pegg (just because I really appreciate their work), George A. Romero (same reason), George Lucas, and John Lennon. Does it have to be just five? I’ve got tons more I’d like to invite… pluse some are going to insist on bringing a plus one. Smith is hardly ever seen without Jason Mewes at his side and Pegg doesn’t go much of anywhere without Nick Frost…

Mike Triggs: Nope, five is the limit. What would you ask them?

Mike Triggs: Smith I’d ask about his film Red State… where’d he get the idea, why is it so different than anything else he’d done, does he now want to be Quentin Tarantino as opposed to Judd Apatow, stuff like that. Simon Pegg I would ask about his ideas on Star Wars as he detailed them in his book Nerd Do Well… and I’d want to know about making Shaun of the Dead with Edgar Wright. It would be interesting to see him answer both those questions with Lucas and Romero in attendance. Romero I would just ask about making some of his better films – especially Night of the Living Dead and Martin. Lennon I could talk to for hours about literally everything: God (or the absence of one), drugs, the recording sessions for Abbey Road and the White Album, is Phil Spector as much of a dick as he seems to be, etc. And Lucas… I have just one question for George Lucas.

Mike Triggs: And that is…?

Mike Triggs: Why do you keep insisting on fucking with Star Wars?

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4 comments

Thanks for subscribing to my blog ‘One Life’. Glad you enjoyed your visit.
So – something tells me it might be time to update this ‘About’ page on your blog. I was expecting something a little more ‘about’ you.
Jamie

Mr. Triggs is an awesome name for a Stephen King serial killer. Just sayin’.

When in doubt, go with the ten famous questions asked of all interviewees on “Inside the Actor’s Studio,” except treat the last one as a joke.

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
4. What turns you off?
5. What is your favorite curse word?
6. What sound or noise do you love?
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I’ve always wanted to be a Stephen King serial killer. I’ve also always wanted the chance to respond to this particular questionairre. Might as well do it here, since the cahances of James Lipton asking me the questions are increasingly slim.
1. What is your favorite word?
Kumquat. Isn’t it just a silly word? I love it.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Had to think a while about this. I suppose I really don’t like the word “laugh.” Nothing against laugter itself, which i love, I just do not trust words with the soft or silent “g”… “neighbor,” “weigh,” and the like are right out.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Controversey. I love pissing people off.
4. What turns you off?
Juggalos
5. What is your favorite curse word?
I don’t know if it counts as a curse “word,” but when i was about 19 or 20 years old, my brother and I used to like to toss around the phrase “sperm burping gutter slut.” isn’t that wonderfully filthy?
6. What sound or noise do you love?
An Xbox 360 or PC booting up. Also the 20th Century Fox fanfare at the start of the Star Wars films.
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Justin Bieber music.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Novelist. Independently wealthy playboy sounds nice as well.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Trash collector.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Sucker!”