Put Yourself in Scorpio’s Shoes

You may have noticed that this blog seldom has posts about the Sun Signs. I’ve set a new goal for myself of writing a post about each of the 12 signs, so today I’m trying to put myself in Scorpio’s shoes.

That’s not easy for me to do. My feet are extra-wide with weak, wobbly ankles. Scorpio’s shoes are those 4” high, narrow and pointy pumps. I’d last in a pair of those a hot five minutes before vowing to go barefoot for life.

But, yeah, let’s all put ourselves in Scorpio’s shoes. Just imagine that you were the most misunderstood, maligned sign of the zodiac. Think what it would be like if people constantly snickered and made smutty jokes about your sex life.

And what if, your whole life long, everybody projected their paranoid crap and their own shadow side onto you at the slightest provocation? What if the parents of teenage girls forbid them to date your Scorpio son just because of his sign?

Okay, I exaggerate. Slightly. But I’d bet if that were you, you’d develop a really warped sense of humor, just to survive…and Scorpios do know how to survive! Their wicked wit is one of the things I love most about them. So let’s celebrate Scorpio humor today.

I don’t really have to look any farther than my sister, who has a Moon/Jupiter/Midheaven conjunction in Scorpio and a Pluto score for the millennia. If you’ve ever wondered where I get my weird sense of humor, it’s hereditary. I got it from my sister.

During the time I was going through replacements for both hips, I faced many mobility challenges, and there were many types of movements I wasn’t allowed to do during the recovery. One way I kept my spirits up was by reading Buddhist books, and I became a Buddhist for a couple of years. For some reason, I had trouble telling my sister about my Big Conversion, and she was the last person I told.

In one of our long-distance calls, I told her, “But I don’t pray to Lord Buddha. And I don’t chant and bow. And I don’t prostrate myself on the floor.”

The voice of reason from her end of the wire: “Of course not, sweetheart. If you ever got down there, how would you get back up?”

My sister is known for her practical jokes, though some of them backfire. Her granddaughters were going through a phase of dying colorful streaks in their hair. She decided to freak them out by dying her newly-grey hair a bright purple.

When she showed up at a family gathering with the purple hair, the girls freaked out all right. And so did she, when it turned out that grey hair stubbornly holds onto color and she had to live with purple hair for several months.

Black humor, anyone? The kind homicide detectives crack at autopsies? My sister would fit right in. She’s had decades of really terrible health crises and a number of surgeries where she died on the table. When she got home from the hospital after one of her Near-Death Experiences, I called to talk to her about a serious concern.

Hemming and hawing for a while, I finally got the question out. “When you die, what do you want us to do?”

Silence on her end of the wire for a few beats. “Are you asking me what I want you to do with my corpse after I croak?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Just shake me and bake me.”

Readers—especially my Scorpio/Plutonian readers—do you have any examples of Scorpio humor? Share it with us in the comment section.

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Art Credits: The shoes are from a large selection of amazingly reasonable–and, yeah, sexy–footwear at Amiclubwear Shoes.

Responses

“Just shake me and bake me.”
Haha …
I just love such people and their humour !
They just put life’s sheer PRACTICAL part in front of you in prolly the best form..Humour!! 🙂

Though i am not a true scorpio (a scorpio ascendant actually), i do notice about the following about true scorpios
“most misunderstood, maligned sign of the zodiac” but not sure about the reasons??
Privacy issues? sarcastic REAL comments/remarks? ??

Thanks Donna!

P.S. Would want you to put more info in this series of sun signs, if you can (though its a known fact that sun sign is the most talked about thing in this universe.. from barbers to hawkers to mechanics to blah blah..Astro is just Sun Sign for these all… lol.)

Yeah, well that’s why I don’t write about Sun signs–we’re way more complex than that. However, there are 20-25 posts on this site about Pluto, so I think Scorpios would find plenty of details there. Donna

“most misunderstood, maligned sign of the zodiac” FINALLY…someone said it out loud. Thank you 🙂

Quite often I feel totally misunderstood. Sometimes I feel like I’m speaking a different language that only I can understand (merc in scorpio?). I’m fairly active on FB. Most of my comments seem to be ignored and yet I see my FB friends posting comments that get all kinds of comments/replies. I feel very invisible.

My humor falls in the “wicked” category…I’ve learned that I have to be selective as to who hears my jokes…talk about misunderstood!

One of my biggest frustrations with the “scorpio” image is the sex issue. Any time I read someone’s astrology blog/book/article and their focus for scorpio is sex, I immediately discredit their credibility…there’s more to us than sex. Actually, to look at me and if you knew me, sex is very low on my radar…and happily so.

I too would have trouble wearing the shoes/boots you display on this page…while I love them, my ankles twitch to just look at them.

Hmm, so you feel like you’re invisible? Actually, with my Pluto on the Ascendant, my heart-felt wish has always been to have a cloak of invisibility.

Oh, and I relate to people misunderstanding your humor–it happens to me all the time. If I’m trying to be funny, they take what I say literally; when I’m saying something in total earnestness, they laugh. Donna

yes, great humor an heres one to share with sister,planning my funeral,specified before cooking me,have the funeral director place a barrel of beer under my casket,directly below my head an install a spiket thru my mouth into the barrel, my friends could draw a beer an any spills would be well received by me; oh well my virgo wife of 55 yrs pulled me backed to reallitie, 4 planets in cancer in 8th house with 15` scorpio ascendent- feel like I found a great treasure in your web site- thank you so much, really do love all that you do for astrology, don

With Mars, Neptune and MC in Scorpio and a strong Pluto, I definitely have a strong Scorpion vibe, but have other energies that hopefully balance it.

Regarding humor, it’s sarcasm that resonates most with Scorpio for me. When I was a teenager, I was really sarcastic; my dad had left, my mom worked nights, I was taking care of my younger brother and sister after school and hadn’t yet developed the ability to cogently express my own needs, so almost everything that came out of my mouth to my mother was sarcastic. As I’ve aged, I’ve dropped the sarcasm but my bent for the truth can be just as cutting to some.

What’s interesting about Scorpios is that they are very observant, natural psychiatrists, who will discover things about people but won’t let that info fly until just the right moment. I recently awoke having a dream about a young Scorpio man I worked with 25 years ago with the realization: “David liked me!” I was involved w/ a man 11 yrs older at the time, who was generally unavailable although I didn’t think so then [emotionally (and otherwise) unavailable father produced relationships with men who were unavailable in one form or another]. Anyway, David had asked me to do something with a group; don’t think he actually asked me out and I had summarily dismissed the idea and his reply was, “Well, it would be better than hanging around waiting for some older unavailable guy!” In very few words he let me know that he knew my secret and I remember being shocked. I was amused by the fact that I was dreaming about 25 years ago when I woke up, but what it highlighted for me is how the obsessive Scorpio / Plutonic nature can get so fixed on one person or idea or goal that it neglects to see other options / realities right in front of its face.

In 1986, I made a professional goal to become a certain type of manager at Xerox. I achieved that goal in 1994. While I had my head down working on my degree and doing other things I needed to do to prepare, I neglected to realize that the actual job had changed with all of the planetary activity in Capricorn in ’92, ’93, ’94, which was really the beginning of all of the corporate downsizing the past two decades have realized. Anyway, when I made the goal to get that position, it managed about 12 people. When I achieved the goal, the span of control was 20-25 to 1, which meant I was managing anywhere from 20 – 25 people over 200 square miles. I would leave home at 6:30 a.m. to arrive somewhere at 8 a.m. for a work group meeting, get to the office where I worked around noon, have voice mails from irate customers asking when their copiers would be fixed, have to communicate w/ my folks and back to the client, and would start my ‘actual work’ that wasn’t related to people or client management around 4 p.m. and not leave work until 7 – 8 p.m. every night. The dream job I had worked so hard to get turned out not to be that much of a dream when I finally achieved it.

Scorpio drive is legendary; whether it’s obtaining a person, a career objective, or basically any goal. And yes, Scorpios have the most regenerative powers in the zodiac, so if anyone can have multiple NDE’s and live, it’s a Scorpio.

After living 50 years where I’ve spent way too much time obsessing over this person or that job, my advice now is: pick your head up, look around and see if there are other options right in front of you … go with the cosmic flow instead of insisting that only “this one” will work!

There’s something about Scorpio energy that drives people to the brink in different ways to see exactly how far they can go; what they can achieve through sheer will power. But often after the goal has been achieved, there is a let down related to the reality of the thing compared to what it took to arrive at it. I met a very famous football player a long time ago at a public event months after winning a Super Bowl; he was at a ‘meet ‘n greet’ signing autographs, etc. As I watched him, I thought about how it took him 20 years of playing football as a kid, in HS, college and the pro’s to be sitting at that table signing autographs. He’s a Scorpio and was turning 27 that month; just beginning his Saturn return. What was ironic to me as I read him (my strong moon/pluto and other scorpio tendencies allow me to read people), I could feel how he felt somewhat like a caged animal at the zoo sitting there behind that table with crowds of people streaming by him. I actually felt the vibe, “Is this what winning a Super Bowl means? Is this what I worked so hard for?” He’s now a TV announcer with a more balanced life, but watching him from a far that day was an interesting realization about how people feel upon ‘arriving at their desired destination.’ This is just my conjecture; we didn’t talk about this where he confirmed feeling that way. But I’ve been told before that I’m an empath (can feel what others are feeling) and have had friends say that I will bring up topics in conversation that have been weighing on them or that they’ve been thinking about, so I’m going w/ my gut on this one.

Scorpio is about way more than sex or black humor / sarcasm to me. Scorpio energy comes down to sheer will; the persistent drive to live and experience the depths of life. Having done that, their observations cut to the quick; can be so real they seem dark.

So back to my favorite fantasy Scorpio football player, from what I’ve seen on TV and in photos, it takes a lot to get him to really smile, it’s usually just a smirk:) And therein lies the mystery of Scorpio.

thanks for writing. I have a scorpio son and while Donna’s post was fun, you cut to the things about my son that i find most perplexing. he is a natural psychiatrist, as you said, and not only understands what makes us all tick, he understands himself yet obsesses so much about what he is going to do that he never does anything. Being an impulsive saggitarius i have NO clue as to how to deal with him (well, except to love him and feed him when he comes over for dinner)
but its nice to know that he is not the only person in the world with these characteristics.

The most difficult thing about being a parent (in my humble opinion) is remembering that a child is a gift from God (or his soul chose yours as the parent he needed; depending on your belief system) to love, raise, guide and provide a set of values to base a life on … *but* the child always comes with his or her own soul lessons to be learned that you can’t change.

Without knowing the age of your son, if he’s 18 – 25, I call these the “lost soul days.” Young people either really have it together then with a strong sense of knowing where they want to go or they’re really struggling to figure it out. I was in the latter group when I was that age.

I’m a Sag w/ 3 Sag planets and always said I’d be a totally freewheeling gypsy if it weren’t for the Virgo / Scorpio / Capricorn influences tying me down:) So I see your perspective and his; my virgo / scorpio stuff has had me analyzing myself and everyone around me my whole life, so I totally understand that part of your son!

If you’re on this blog, you have an interest in astrology, so I’m assuming you’ve done his chart on one of the free programs like astro.com, etc. I’ve loved Donna’s blog series here on the strength of planets and elements; run his chart through these. She’s done a great job of highlighting the strengths / occupations associated with each planet. After doing your analysis based on this, make some suggestions to him on what you see his as his strengths and potential occupations (and obviously you’re his mom so you know him without all of these tests). Where is his Mars? That describes his style of action; how he approaches things. (In response to your “he analyzes to death but never does anything!” That’s called paralysis by analysis.)

Once a child reaches 21, the role of the parent is to still provide love, guidance and support, but the child has to learn to spread his own wings. It’s kind of like the story of someone helping a butterfly out of its cocoon but insodoing renders it helpless because it’s the struggle of fighting its way out that allows the wings to become strong enough to fly.

If you see your Scorpio son heading down a dark Scorpio path: drugs, crime, unhealthy obsessive relationship, addiction, violence, etc., then definitely share your concern and arrange professional help if necessary. But if he’s just finding his way, it’s a natural part of life.

I have a 43 yr old Scorpio brother who is Sun exactly conjunct Neptune, who was a pot head and then became a drug addict after his wife left and took the kids. At 43, he is still very emotionally (and somewhat financially) dependent on my 76 yr old mom. It’s one of the unhealthiest codependent relationships I’ve witnessed in my life.

What I’ve always loved about astrology is that it helps me to understand myself and others. That understanding allows me to create a framework to gain understanding and acceptance. Examining your own chart and his may help you to figure out how you can best ‘deal with’ him. There are great relationship calculators on both http://www.astro.com (short partner forecast) or a really quick and dirty one on cafeastrology that shows you how you interact with another person; they’re intended for love relationships, but I’ve used them for siblings, friends, etc. because you can really see dynamics between you minus the sexual part. http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/comp2f

Being a parent of an adult child is a balancing act; they always still need your love, support and guidance, but enabling and ‘trying to fix it’ for them doesn’t work or really help in the long run.

I just discovered Donna’s blog recently and so have been all over new and old blog posts and she wrote somewhere, “After I got my MSW it was a sad day when I realized that I couldn’t fix everyone. Some people just don’t want to be fixed.” In reality, we can never fix anyone but ourselves; be it parent, child, spouse, sibling, friend, etc. … people only change when they want to change. It’s taken me my whole life to get that, but the counselor in me still always wants to help! I spend a lot of time ‘processing things’ with friends and family and will provide my perspective, but ultimately it’s their journey. Maybe processing through your son’s analysis with him (if he will talk about it) will help him to sort the forest from the trees and come to his own conclusion based on his goals and values?

Good Luck Mimi:)

By: Karen on October 5, 2010 at 10:40 am

thanks Karen
my son is almost 32 and fortunately does not have any of the worst vices, he is a good guy, the kind you would trust with your children.
I do try to study astrology and have sweated over his chart and have used astro.com to try and understand these things. I agree that people come into the world with certain parents to learn certain lessons from them, but as his mother, i know that it could easily become very unhealthy like your cousin – i could easily do everything for him! but i dont. and being a sag, it is Very hard to just sit and watch him stew as he does. thanks for your kind words “paralysis by analysis” nails it.

Scorpios have great humour, often because they dare to say the things others fear. And sometimes it’s a two-edged sword, sometimes it’s just weird, and usually completely un-political correct …
Okay, Scorpio story. I’m 5, my sister 7 and we’re at the Zoo. My sister – Scorpio Sun/Vir Asc – always the sharp observer and not one for holding her tongue, says: Mummy – look, that elephant has five legs!
My mother (Vir Sun/Scorpio Asc) gives the bull elephant a long look, and says; Gee, in my next life, I want to be an lady elephant.
About 12 years later, I got the joke …(I’m Vir Sun/Scorpio Asc).
Looking forward to the rest of the Sun signs, Donna!

No Scorpio in my chart, but strong Plutonian qualities, including planet emphasis in 8th house…so I’m surrounded by them. My sister-in-law is strongly Scorpionic and I hadn’t seen her in awhile.
She gave me a compliment, telling me I “looked good”. I said, “I’ve been drinking the blood of young Virgins” in perfect seriousness.
I surprised myself – it was funny!
Scorpio humor – anything Dark, and/or sarcastic.
and no, Scorpio doesn’t smile very readily, I agree with the person who said this – and that it’s more like a smirk. It’s “long” rather than toothy. Reminds me of a Shark somehow!

Am a Sag, Buttttttt…. with Moon,Venus and Jupiter conjunct in the mid degrees of Scorpio & Chiron at 5Scorp, I could pass. Have a ton of Pluto, including Pluto and Saturn on my IC ……(Was in the top numbers on your Pluto test….)

People have a hard time with the truth (Sag. mouth, going eternally deep- Scorpio) …. people have a hard time understanding why we fixate on things. Then there is the dark sense of humor mixed with the wet silly Sag. humor…. you either get it or you do not. It can be offensive. I have given up acting, pretending to be “nice”…..

Most of the challenge is to love & accept yourself despite others’ reactions,etc.(I have just started doing this)…..

Let’s face it,people are jealous of Scorpionic energies: the drive, the determination, the fixation, the passion. But,it is what makes me feel totally ALIVE.

Get those 4 +1/2 ” stiletto heels out of the closet and stay amused,
Molly K

That’s so true…about Scorpios seeing the truth, I mean. And maybe that’s part of why they go for the dark humor–people accept the truth a bit better when it’s couched in a jest.

My best image for Scorpio/Pluto folks is that they’re the kid from the fairy tale, The Emperor’s New Clothes. You know, the kid in the crowd who shouted out that the emperor was naked, while everyone else was trying to convince themselves of his finery. What I always say is that when that kid got home, he got his butt beat for telling the truth. Donna

“I have given up acting, pretending to be “nice”…..”
Same here.
Just be what you are ! I just do not understand why people “ACT” in real life.
No one aint gonna get moksha or ‘confirmed ticket to Heaven’ for pretending to be good or feigning qualities which you dont have.
or for being a hypocrite all the way from womb to tomb.

“Let’s face it,people are jealous of Scorpionic energies: the drive, the determination, the fixation, the passion. But, it is what makes me feel totally ALIVE.”
TOTALLY SECOND IT (in Caps), esp. passion n drive
being a Scorpio Ascendant with high Pluto score (Pluto-moon conjunct in scorpio)

Want to go through every part of life with REAL passion, be a Scorpio !

I would like to quote here a part of very good article by Liz Greene, which perfectly explains what SCORPIO is about.
“There are various creatures associated with this sign, one of which is the serpent which renews and regenerates itself by shedding its old skins on a regular basis. Scorpios often seem to go through several lifetimes within one life. Each ‘death’ will be experienced as a period of crisis, during which anything which has been outgrown is eliminated, followed by the generation of a completely new chapter in life. If you are living with Scorpio planets or a Scorpio Ascendant, life is not a game. It is an intense struggle for survival, about constantly having to go into the fires to be reborn. The mythic phoenix is also associated with this sign, the bird which periodically enters into a fire, burns itself up and regenerates itself once again. There is also the actual scorpion level, of course: solitary creatures with poisonous stings, who live in the desert and in dry, barren wastes, and which we will do well to treat with great caution and circumspection. Finally, there is the eagle, which symbolizes the scorpion nature which soars above the world, having completely transformed and purified itself and, no longer caught by emotional complexities or defensiveness, has become magnificently itself.”

I like to think of the Eagle phase as the Dove phase. Eagles are quite the predators while doves represent peace. That’s the highest form of transformation we can achieve, imho.

By: Karen on October 4, 2010 at 4:50 am

Just this week, I put a friend’s info into my astrological software so I could see her basic chart. She’s a Libra, but I was not too surprised to see her Scorpio ascendant. I told her about her ascendant, she wanted to know what it meant. I told her the ascendant is the image we project into the world and how we approach it. But I was kind of stumped on how to describe Scorpio. So I told her, “I guess it’s sort of a Goth vibe.”

She said, “WHAT did you say?!? Gee oh tee aitch GOTH? When I was in high school, I was all Goth, but I was told I should tone it down a bit so I stopped doing that.” Ha. I told her she should tone it UP a notch from now on, because that’s who she is.

I also checked her solar return since her birthday was coming up, that’s why I was doing her chart. Her birthday is tomorrow and there’s a Mars/Venus conjunct exactly over her natal Jupiter. I told her she should skip the birthday party and arrange an orgy instead. She couldn’t stop laughing for 10 minutes.

I think I’m a pretty good example of a Scorpio.
I have sun,mars,mercury,uranus and north node in scorpio.

I have a dark/sarcastic, sometimes tongue in cheek,but playful sense of humor(Gemini rising?)
I think the “Child’s Play”(maniacal posessed doll with a dark witty sense of humor) and “Nightmare on Elmstreet” movies are hilarious in many ways. lol!

Did you know that Seth Macfarlane the creator of “Family Guy” is a scorpio? and that Richard Pryor had mercury + in scorpio.
I thought that was pretty cool. =-D

Ya, lol! I mean Chucky. It is funny, especially Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky, it’s a little gory,but it’s like a dark comedy. Especially in Seed of Chucky because Chucky and Tiffany(played by Jennifer Tilly;his wife,also psychotic, who likes Martha Steward,who he electrocuted and puts her soul into a doll) somehow concieved and had a son with a split personality, his/her name is Glen and Glenda and they’re trying to be parents to him. =-)
Ya, I thought that was a trip about Richard Prior. He had a really witty sense of humor. So does George Carlin,but I can’t figure out where it comes from.???

Anyway,sorry, I got carried away, I love comedic subjects.

Robin

By: Robin on October 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm

What’s funny to me is that the former Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice (who I think is a Scorp) looked like Bride of Chucky to me!

Can’t think of a joke about Scorpios but being
a Scorpio Ascendant my sons (ages 32 and 36)
call me the pun lady as I have always found
puns wonderfu and use them often.
I have been burned by Scorpio personalities too
many times to find much humor in them personally. Just a few months ago I was the
brunt of a niece’s anger when I didn’t do as she
asked of me. She is also a Scorpio Asc and
a girlfriend years ago made me the target of
her anger and talked about me nonstop for ages.
I thought that I die from her scorpio sting.

I’m a 0 degree Sag, with Mercury in Scorpio square Pluto. I have always felt more Scorpion than Sagittarian. Here are my observations:

I find a Scorpio Rising will bite your head off more quickly than Scorpio Sun or Mercury. Otherwise I love Scorpios in general, and most of my close friends have been Scorpions. I like them because they don’t do small talk. I can always get right to the point with them. They have the humor and biting truth of a good caricature. They can say in a few words what takes someone else paragraphs, and you get a good laugh to boot.

The other thing is, I find that I always have telepathic communication with Scorpios. I don’t know who’s the sender and who’s the receiver. But they will always verbalize what I am thinking. (Probably my Merc. in Scorp)

Scorpio/Pluto people also often are empaths in the sense that they feel other people’s physical and emotional pain, even if they don’t always know it belongs to someone else and confuse it for their own. And, of course, many of them develop mediumistic abilities after someone important to them dies. People always think of Pisces/Neptune for psychic abilities, but there are lots of kinds of esp gifts. Donna

“Scorpio/Pluto people also often are empaths in the sense that they feel other people’s physical and emotional pain, even if they don’t always know it belongs to someone else and confuse it for their own”
SECOND IT. (with experience)

By: FxGuy on October 3, 2010 at 8:45 pm

“Scorpio/Pluto people also often are empaths in the sense that they feel other people’s physical and emotional pain, even if they don’t always know it belongs to someone else and confuse it for their own.”

Third it.

By: Robin on October 3, 2010 at 9:05 pm

I understand this. Sun conjunct Neptune in Scorpio, sextile Pluto and trine Chiron. I find that sometimes I avoid people because of it.

Every Scorpio/Pluto person needs to understand “no” if only for their own self-preservation.

By: Kathy on October 4, 2010 at 8:08 am

“And what if, your whole life long, everybody projected their paranoid crap and their own shadow side onto you at the slightest provocation?”

Speaking as Scorp’s close cousin (uber Plutonian), I can say this comment rocked me to my core. And I’m really tired of it.

Yes, me too! I’m a scorpio sun (last degree 29.55 in 6th house, cusp of 7th) and i’m sooo tired of being the target and receptacle of other people’s projections. I also feel that the supposed scorpio power has been turned against me from childhood (due to jealousy, envy, to keep from being told on, etc, etc), to the point where i cannot access it anymore to make positive lasting changes in my own life now as an adult. It’s really frustrating. As someone stated earlier, I feel invisible and rendered silent.

Being a Taurus, I need other VIP aspects to be compatible with Scorpions. I find them sooo intense about whatever they are intense about, sex, love, religion, drinking, either pro or against. I think my Uranus 3rd H. Leo comes out scorpion like. And scorpio women sure have the strongest sex appeal! This is a note I sent to a Scorpio AC that I very much admire, I’m Gemini AC:
” Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious; said Gemini little devil to the Scorpio Angel. But he might just have that evidence with a smile on his face”

Some of the best conversations I ever had with another human was with a man who is a traditional Satanist priest. I’m a devout Roman Catholic. I’ve sorta lost track of him but we had some good laughs.

My Sag Merc in 7th House is square my 5th House Virgo Pluto conj NN so something about the Dark Side of the Force has been my past and will be my future.

In everyday life, I work very hard to keep my humor out of the macabre and titillating because it easily degrades the more I talk. 6th House Scorpio Moon.

Unless I’m talking taxes, that is. I could talk cleanly about taxes all day long. 8th House Sag Sun.

I don’t even try to explain things like why I like Type O Negative and why I only get a charge out of the baddest of the bad guys.

The only dark joke I feel like sharing atm is apropos. My head hurts and I’m a force to be reckoned with during a migraine attack. I’d tell everyone to go to hell but I wouldn’t want anyone that near me.

LOL B-)

My only request about my death is for my daughters to throw a huge party. My life will be complete if someone makes a wisecrack during my wake that brings the house down.

Scorpios seem to me to have a “look”. Hard to quantify that, I know. Here’s are pictures worth a thousand words. I guess because my Virgo cusp 5th House has my Pluto/NN conj, Scorpio is going to be a big part of my children and my love life.

Here’s my younger daughter. Now SHE’S a Scorpio. I need to work out her Pluto score. Being conj her Scorpio Moon and Asc and square her Mars, it should be up there.

i have always been irritated hearing regular folks – and some astrology folks, too! – bag on scorpios. maybe it’s because i’m a virgo and virgos get their share of stereotyping. but i’ve had pretty good scorpio friends (male & female) over the years, plus my mom and brother-in-law are scorpios. now, my b-i-l definitely has a dark sense of humor and i love it, but my mom has barely any sense of humor, though that doesn’t mean she’s cold either. but she’s a scorpio sun & ascendant, moon in leo and most of her planets are in one or the other sign. (as an aside, i think she’s a week younger than hillary rodham clinton.)

i’ve said it before (when i talked about how i don’t feel my mom lives up to the mother description of one born with aquarius moon) – my mom seems to defy all explanation when it comes to astrology. i don’t get it!

I’m a Scorpio Sun with Saturn in Scorpio too. Pluto has made a transit across Mars, Moon, Venus, Ascendant, Sun, Saturn and Mercury. I have gone through lots of shapeshifting changes but I am still the little, quiet girl with the eyes that take in just about every little move, shift, nuance of words and energy in any environment I am in.
I envy my Leo sister who can put all the energy out there, where I have to bring it all in and assimilate it inside somehow. Sun is in the first, but all the Libra above on the Ascendant so I am really good at camoflauging my pincers and tail.
I learend not to kapow people because it was not who I wanted to be. I was at an astrology conference once and lady next to me kept reading what I was writing in my notes. I asked her to stop it, what I thought was nicely but she looked like the deer in the headlights. I felt sorry but all I could say was, I’m a Scorpio. I felt she was invading my personal space rudely and that sets me off.
Also my humorous story–I recently told some co-workers who were talking because they had all had sex with this one guy–well you can start you own FFF club — Find ’em, F*** ’em, Forget ’em.
Tee hee.

Talking with a Sag friend who has Scorpio rising, I said Sag could come across like the saying “when I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” His immediate Scorpionic riposte was “when I want your opinion, I’ll read your entrails.”

Speaking of reading entrails, Scorpio energy in a nutshell: someone who has a colonoscopy without sedation so that they can see it themselves, discuss it w/ the Dr. , ask questions, while others just shake their heads and say, “Why on earth would you want to do that?!” Scorpio rules medicine and surgeons and most have some interest, even if it’s not down to the entrails:) Although I guess that takes “going deep” to a whole ‘nother level! LOL:)

I hope we all understand that many of these comments about Scorpio are “tongue in cheek”. The Scorpios I know (me, my mom and my friend) are all very nice, innocent, kind people. I will agree with the need for space. I probably would have told the woman at the conference not to read my notes too. I am a little territorial and direct.

I wouldn’t have said a word. I’d have written in my notes, “There is a woman sitting next to me reading what I’m writing. Apparently more interesting than what’s in her her head” then watched her reaction.

Oh, God, you folks are cracking me up!! That would possibily be preferable to her that saying it out loud because it doesn’t embarass her in front of others. But on the other hand, it is also more humiliating in another sense, as it shows her up as an idiot. Donna (Cunningham)

haha …surely the reaction would have been worth watching!
But i would have taken the direct intervention route by asking “Whats your problem dear ?” lol (Scorpio bluntness when privacy is involved)

By: FxGuy on October 4, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Sometimes Scorp humor is too biting. I wish they knew when to cool it a bit when the humor is actually thinly veiled hostility.
I’m thinking of two people I know: One is a Scorp Sun, Mercury & Venus square Mars and Saturn in Leo. The other is a Scorp Rising square Mercury/Sun in Leo.
Having said that: I have my share of Scorp traits. I’m Sun conjunct Pluto in 11 and have Mars in Scorp in one. I have a weird sense of humor but I always attributed that to Uranus on the MC.
My Scorp joke: In my previous workplace we were talking about what we wanted to do with our bodies upon death. Most people chose burial and one said cremation:
I said I was giving my body to science or the first deserving necrophiliac to ask for it.
The ladies in that office thought I was a pervert.
Another story: I swear to God that I used to live downstairs from a vampire. There was this guy that lived upstairs from me. At night he would do weird chanting, he was never seen outside during the day, he wore all black, drove a hearse, had a black cat and he worked in a blood bank! I nicknamed the guy Vlad.
I have had three NDEs, so I second the Plutonian ability to rise from death.
I also have been a big dumping ground for people’s projections and such. Stephen Forrest’s take on Pluto in 11 really resonated with me on that issue. His Pluto book is superb.

Is definitely a humor that comes from deep intuition/understanding of human nature.
Growing up with a 5 planet in scorpio Dad, I can relate, he had venus conjunct his asc in the 1rst degrees of Sag, which made him unbelievably funny, so the ‘sting’ would have a softer, sometimes silly delivery. There is a lot of scorpio/virgo/sag colored (and off colored) humor in my family and God, do I miss that…is too bad that my english is not subtle enough to translate some of them!
He passed away 13 years ago and I still find myself laughing hard at jokes he told decades ago!
p.s my friend’s 3 year old son is likely to beat records in the scorpio’s humor department…he started at about 1.5 y.o most related to potty subjects, and other ‘unmentionables’ 🙂 he just nails it every time!!!

I am diggin all of the shoes and boots!! I’ve got a pair that’s similar to the pumps but the heal is chunkier making them pretty comfortable to walk in for high heels. Super sexy yet comfortable. Pluto rising in Virgo perhaps? lol

I’m glad I found this post after reading Charlie White’s post. (BTW I could procrastinate life and keep reading your site forever).

So here’s some scorpionic humor: my mom had 3 scorpionic kids. At her funeral, we were all keeping a cold image to hide all those deep emotions boiling inside. In the end, when we were at the cemetery, her coffin was being carried by this small car (like a golf car) to the grave, and all family and friends were walking right behind. My siblings and I were the first in the line of course. Somehow the car hit a small bump, but her coffin shaked heavily. My brother then whispered to my sister and I: “F*! Now mom is gonna live upside down for an eternity!”. After so many hours of bottled emotions, suddenly we couldn’t stop laughing! I feel a bit guilty for that laugh, but I know my mom would be laughing too if she was there =)

Oh, there’s quite a niche for funeral humor. When I was a teen, I belonged to a Baptist type church and the well-loved pastor (a reformed juvenile delinquent) told us that sometimes instead of “from dust thou art, to dust thou returnest,” he’d toss the dirt on the coffin and say, “here’s mud in your eye” donna

No actual planets in Scorp, but Aries 8th house Sun and Mercury with 1st house Pluto and Mars in Gem. My wit is probably even more finely tuned than Mars/ Venus Scorpio natives, many of whom rate me as more “scary” than them (WTF?? 🙂 ) Mind you my mother had Mars/ Venus in Scorp and I must have learned the rudiments from her. She and my father have placements in Sagittarius and these can make a person far more wounding than Scorpio would be.
With Scorpios, although they are not always gonna be polite and can have an evil chuckle, they do try to see the positive side a lot of the time. They can be tactful whilst at the same time being so f-king funny, this is a trait which Aries shares having a somewhat dry and subtle sarcastic humour.
Scorpios appreciate the value of humour in getting on in everyday life, they realize it is a tool of the trade. Their word usage is incredible and has been the mainstay of many fine writers. However I will say do not make a joke at their expense because they won’t like it. You can do it to Aries or Leo, who will either punch you in the face, throw it right back at you, or laugh with you – but don’t do it to a Scorpio.
I will say that Saturn transiting through the signs brings out the characteristics of that sign in me and I have been more Scorpionic than ever over the last 2 years!! It has been a rich and creative transit but at the same time a harrowing one. I also (true to form) love sex but now just see it as 1 of the many 1000 facets of life. Therefore I rarely if ever write about it in poems/ songs as there are just so many other interesting things to write about!

You are so on target about that Scorpio humor. My sister has a Scorpio Moon/Jupiter/Midheaven conjunction, and the woman has the most warped sense of humor imaginable–kind of like cops that crack jokes at a murder scene. But it’s one of the ways she’s survived a terrible, terrible life. Donna

My father is a Scorpio with a Leo Ascendant with Mars on the Ascendant. When I was growing up, he looked and acted very much like Brutus from the Popeye cartoons. He has a failed marriage, and who knows how many trashed relationships in his wake. I am the only one of his children who actually speaks to him. He has had two pulmonary embolisms in late middle age, and has lived to tell the tale, although he now walks with a limp and has had a declining activity level which has negatively affected his health in other ways. (And yes, I am worried that this might have negatively affected his brain as well.) When I tell my friends that he has actually survived _two_ pulmonary embolisms, they can’t believe it. I think he is alive only due to general scorpiosity.

Blood orphans, verbal murder threats, amusingly imagining myself as a cult leader who talks more than 6 ppl in an airport that the way to heaven is through the toilet bowl..then stand by as the flush ring in unison.
If you are a secret slut.. I can tell and am actively protecting myself from getting pulled into ” the manipulating trap slutty women lure pure intended ” new gal pals” into to gain more footing w any male presence.

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Continued
When I have given myself openly to other females in friendship, I give more than anyone ever will. And yet I feel the undercurrents of competition where I am not competing. I exist of myself and you if your self. I will put as much energy into helping another person realize awareness until it’s non effective…then I usually am confronted with a type of betrayal which infuriates my entire being how dare you decieve me after allowing me to invest in you…when i discover I am being judged with every good hearted word, and basically seen as a tool to build themselves up by “winning’ against me when I am not even on aNY level in comparison to the low or shallow subconscious awareness.. sisters, friends, step mothers, friends mothers, teachers, etc very much my trust in ppl has been tested repeatedly… i finally arrive in a worthy female friendship, a mutual and amazing mind sync, corrupted shared sense of humor, my sister in law, the person I most identified with in this life time.. she with out warning took h er life and it was during my first saturn return.. the most earth shattering, broken hearted, devastated , broken , inconsolable, gut wrenching pain… it was 2014 and I’m still feeling that gut wrenching grief .. it’s a horrible loss and a huge psychological trigger of already existing deep seeded abandonment issues… a 2nd pregnancy only 1 month after death..post partum, ends to 2 friendships, dissolving of relationships with my 3 real sisters, complete infuriated outbursts to my never there father and his immature minded spiteful wife, post partum, a week in a mental health unit, complete loss of my self, complete avoidance of all and every aspect of feeling , or responsibility, utter breakdown consumed by a self loathing dissapointed shame, losing faith , almost lost my marriage and loss of my role as wife and mother, public humiliation, embarrassment, undeniable vulnerability,very humbling and unavoidable consequences.. feeling lIke time is going too fast to catch up with all therealizations of saturn transit in scorpio and I jusr cried and cried and had to defend my identity every single day at home.. I just now am beginning to become a shadow of myself again… it has been the toughest time in my life and my life was rough. I never lost my sense of optimistic faith that every thing will be as it should be until the death of my friend/family member.. my joy was just destroyed. I’ve never felt so weak in my life.
Now , I feel assured that as a scorpio 12 house sun an 12th house Pluto in scorpio ,scorpio rising with a 1st house scorpio stellium mercury saturn venus uranus, 2nd house stellium Jupiter in sage, 2nd house Neptune in Capricorn, 2nd house Mars in Capricorn, 3rd house moon in Capricorn all within few degrees. That all my confining relationships and confined were purposely set on fire, burnt to the ground, and only i rose from the ashes. I’ve been letting go ..still have a little more to truly release but I can already acknowledge how stuck doors have just glided open before me and I like it. I dont know what I signed up for before incarnation to this lifetime…but i know there’s no room for the faint of heart in my ultimate journey …I know i refuse to come back down here after this time…so I must pass all points of progression.. I must not forget my own ascent, I must fulfill my want to be a guiding light and a true visionary of my time for others. Setting altruistic examples and expression of my full internal beauty sharing it with the universe. Misunderstood all the way.. but that’s ok. My walk is frm withi..and I trust my abilities even if they don’t fit with accepted norms.
I will never quite, I will never give up..even if I take 100 yrs b4 I can die …then 100 yrs I will go.