New moon, time to organize

February 17, 2007 — Nijma

What you do at new moon brings results at full moon, advises the astro-weather for today. The new moon starts at exactly 10:13 this morning, but its influence started yesterday. Oh, and the moon is void of course from 10:13 to 12:29 this afternoon, meaning it’s not under any planetary influences. Any decisions you make during this time are supposed to need extraordinary amounts of follow-through energy to succeed.

My free-will horoscope says I am suffering from metaphysical jet lag, but in an interesting way. How exactly does one suffer in an interesting way? Never mind, it’s the “sacred advertisement” at the bottom of the page that’s the most interesting.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Discordianism is one of the rare religions that takes account of Ralph Abraham’s assertion that heart physiologists find more chaos in the healthy heart than in the sick heart. Here’s a sampling of Discordian tenets. 1. Everyone is a saint, especially you. 2. Meditation consists primarily of cruising around looking for good luck. 3. Eating hot dog buns is prohibited, except on Friday, when it’s compulsory. 4. When you’re stuck in a rut, you must speak in tongues, handle snakes, and experience phantasmagoria. 5. Your guardian angel loves you better when your room is a mess. 6. Bowling alleys are sacred; you must protect them from desecration. 7. The Goddess will solve all your problems if you solve all hers.

Discordianism? Apparently this is either a real religion disguised as a joke or a joke disguised as a real religion. It seems to be a cross between Murphy’s Law and the koan.