"Post about it on your site. Maybe your visitors will start up a fund so you can buy a teacup. Or they'll say, 'You should get your own bank account so you can buy the teacup!!!' 'If you really want it you should get it!!' 'If he loves you he'll let you buy it!!!!' 'He's evil!!'"

January 23, 2002

Through the Joy of Cooking I have just discovered that it is essentially impossible to make cookies without butter (yes, apparently, according to JoC I could make biscotti--but I don't want biscotti. I want cookie cookies).

Who knew that butter was so essential to a satisfactory, makes-me-happy diet? I should've listened to Julia Child.

I could always try to make cookies without butter. But that reminds me of the time I tried to make a hamburger without meat.

I was about 12 years old, and I thought, Wow, I really want a hamburger.

But we didn't have meat in the house (as was our wont). But I, being, apparently, more determined than I am now, or perhaps just dumber, decided that I'd make a hamburger anyway.

Damn that meat--I don't need it.

It turned out we didn't have hamburger buns either. Not to be stopped, I pulled out two thick slices of rye bread. I spread mustard and ketchup on them, added a tomato, lettuce, and some pickles... and I dug in.