OPEN: A. The Father¡¦s Day ¡§Top Ten¡¨ List of Things Men Have Been Itching to Say for Years¡K --I wouldn¡¦t normally do this but it is Father¡¦s Day and the only day out of the year I can get away with it 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

2. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

3. Sunday = sports. It¡¦s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. ¡§Yes¡¨ and ¡§No¡¨ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

5. Check your oil! Please, check your oil!

6. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. --In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.

7. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

8. If we ask what¡¦s wrong and you say ¡§nothing,¡¨ we¡¦ll act like nothing¡¦s wrong. --We know you¡¦re lying, but it¡¦s just not worth the hassle.

9. Men see in only 16 colors -like Windows default settings in your computer monitor. --Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

10. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we¡K

B. How important are good fathers? --Chuck Colson, How Now Shall We Live? gives some pretty startling statistics: 1. Children in single-parent families are five times more likely to be poor, and half the single mothers in the United States live below the poverty line.

2. Children of divorce suffer intense grief, which often lasts for many years. --Even as young adults, they are nearly twice as likely to require psychological help.

3. Children from disrupted families have more academic and behavioral problems at school and are nearly twice as likely to drop out of high school.

4. Girls in single-parent homes are at a much greater risk for promiscuous sexuality and are two and a half times more likely to have a child out of wedlock.