I still have this picture in my mind....
I could hardly wait to see my Mom again after a long day at school. And there she was surrounded by
toddlers and toys, with one leg draped over the back of the couch eating her candy bar while reading
her Good Housekeeping magazine.

She would see me, look up, and smile. She'd put down her magazine, but not her candy bar, and just
listen to me go on and on about my day at school. I had to get every detail out. And she listened like
what I had to say was the best thing ever.

I grew up with heaven in my home. If I could tell her one thing right now, that would be it.

PS My Mom did NOT like Mother's Day. I don't even know what to say to that. She just didn't.
She was continually telling us the virtues of other Moms we knew like she didn't measure up to them.

She didn't read to us, or sing to us. She didn't decorate our birthday cakes or make our clothes.

But she was the kindest woman I ever knew. And we got to see examples of that on a daily basis as
she not only took care of all of us, the neighbors, her friends, and anyone else along the way. If
someone was hurting or had a need, and she knew about it, she was there.

She never even remotely pretended to be perfect.
Here is an excerpt from a lesson she gave in Relief Society on raising children:

18 comments:

Mothers are such a blessing in our lives and the best "thank you" we can give them is to emulate them. Jill, you are such a very good mother and grandmother and I'm sure your mom is proud of you! Have a very Happy Mother's Day.

As I remember it, mom used to read to me, sing to me, decorate my birthday cake, and make my clothes...but I remember her saying she didn't think she could keep it up for 7 more kids.

About that unfortunate chicken. I think properly relocating the remains to an adjacent potters field was effort enough for a not-on-the-chart task. Besides, John, ever the lawyer, was chirping in my ear that we didn't have a burial permit.

All in all, despite occasionally playing fast and loose with child labor laws, she was the best mom ever.

One more thing about that vacant lot. Before the Belmont family built a home there, we kids built tumble weed forts, served acorn and walnut mush in them, attempted to detonate an old WW2 artillery shell, and once held a funeral for a feral cat. Jill said the prayer. The incidental passing of a pet chicken just didn't merit a bigger fuss.

Seriously... Mom did read to me. I clearly remember her reading To Kill a Mockingbird. She sang all day long but rarely remembered any of the correct lyrics. She also whistled a lot. When I hit 7th grade and girls were finally allowed to wear pants (the beginning of the downfall of all youth everywhere) she sewed some pants and a skirt and a reversible vest for me. And she may not have decorated my birthday cakes but she always made them special with that 7 minute cooked shiny white frosting. One time, I'm not sure why... I got to have my birthday at that little coffee shop in the tower district that would bring out your cake on a musical revolving pedestal. Anyone else remember the place?

I never once remember her reading to me but perhaps I didn't want her to. I probably chose to talk to her instead. I had forgotten about her whistling!

I remember going to that Tower coffee shop every year on my birthday. I'm sure I didn't go that often but it was often enough that it was tradition to me. I have a picture of my cake on that restaurant pedestal. The waitress' name was Elsie.

The point I was trying to make in this post, is Mom had her own style and way of doing things. But everyday we had lessons in character, just by watching how she quietly lived her life. As they say, example is the greatest teacher of all.

And yes, I think children who are read to by their parents have such an advantage in this life, on so many different levels! I'm SO thankful my grandchildren are being read to. We may not have had everything growing up, no child does, but nevertheless, we were raised by an angel who put our feelings and needs above all else.

She was raising EIGHT children, yet I remember when I got a new record....how she would come in my bedroom and sit on the floor with me (because I asked her to) and listen to that ENTIRE album with me! (weren't the "long playing records" about 20 minutes on each side??) There's that saying....something like...."When we look back on life it's the little things that will be the big things to us."

I remember going to that Tower District coffee shop, near the mental health office, with Jill and Grandma Lella once...mom took me to the Carnation Soda Fountain about a block further west on Olive St for a chocolate soda after a few dental appointments. Mom must have liked her sweets. I'm just like her.

As a huge fan of your family, this is truly fascinating. I love how each of you siblings remember different things about your mother or the same things but in different ways....like the reading of books. Is it possible to hear comments from the other siblings? Just curious about their perspective. The bottom line is, I can tell that your mother was an awesome woman. You all carry on her awesome-ness. Thank you for posting this Mother's Day tribute.pjc

Your comment touches my heart deeply, and I feel your pain of regret. Although you did not hear her whistle again, I imagine she continued when not in your presence. That was her way of honoring and loving you...by not being irritating.

I'm wondering if one of your children picked up their mother's whistling talent!?!

Thank you for being a great father. I know this because of getting to see you through your wonderful children.

Dad, you're being too hard on yourself. As I recall, mom gave up whistling about the same time she gave up drinking Tab. Without the caffeine, she probably lost her will to live briefly and the whistling was just collateral damage...

Oh I love all of this banter back and forth, what lucky kids we were! I remember the tumbleweed forts and staying out all over the neighborhood until dark, those were different times. Sometimes I would run all the way home from school just to check in on mom and then I would be off on my way. She was always there with kind words and a snack, we were lucky kids to have a dad who could support an entire family of ten so we could have a full time mother. Dad read the bedtime stories, at least to Robin and I, but mom read all the reading assignments for school, the long chapter books. You probably don't remember her reading because she was so busy with babies. It is interesting that each of us got a different part of our wonderful mother.

"Charity is accepting someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped...The best and most clear indicator that we are progressing spiritually and coming unto Christ is the way we treat other people..."-Marvin J. Ashton