Kyara has a small contest of wills with her lifemate over recent events.

When

There is 1 Turn, 4 months, and 14 days until the 12th Pass.

Where

Liareth's Ledge, Igen Weyr

Liareth's LedgeA wide, flat ledge, edges gouged from centuries of taloned feet gripping it to land, faces west near the apex of the caldera that is Igen Weyr. Sand fills a dragon-sized spot worn into the surface near the southern edge. The back half is sheltered by weathered, rusty-hued stone - deep enough to provide a haven during inclement weather. Around the outside edges of the cave, a few smaller shelves of rock jut out - places for firelizards to lounge, should they wish to. Beyond a stone platform lies the entrance to Kyara's weyr, cut off from the ledge by a heavy, sapphire-hued hanging edged with a simple blocked spiral pattern in gold thread. Two sand-filled cylindrical striking bags hang in the back left corner of the sheltered space. Just to the left of the entrance is a shelf holding pots of oil and salve, beneath which is a yet-to-be-filled row of hooks for fighting straps.

Kyara is pacing. She could be down below, swimming to cool off after drills and before their next lesson, but no. The full length of her ledge is traversed, back and forth, back and forth. Liareth watches her lifemate from the shade of the weyr’s mouth, tail swishing with graceful irritability as yellow eyes swirl, following Kyara’s progress. “I can’t help it, Lia,” the weyrling is saying as she crosses directly in front of the dragon once again. “The leadership isn’t stupid; they wouldn’t be where they are, otherwise. It’s only a matter of time before they decide whose fault it really was. Then what’ll that mean for us?”

At first, Liareth was trying very hard to get Kyara to stop worrying with all the comforting mental steam and heat and beauty she could. It has helped, but her lifemate is still fretful. Now the pretty green still maintains that soothing presence, but lets the girl walk her repetitive line. « You said yourself that the others had most likely considered this, » Liareth points out, her melodic mindvoice showing hints of impatience and aggravation; this is a contest of Kyara’s idealism and her pragmatism, once again. « A small blow to be taken by the few for the good of the many - unless you say something. »

“How has it been good for the many thus far?” Kyara demands - not for the first time - as she throws up her hands. She's been trying her hardest to see the truth in that, but more and more keeps popping up to make her think otherwise. “And I'm not going to say anything. But the whole Weyr sits here in mourning for two sevens thinking we’re gone forever, we blink back in bad shape… Now I can’t even tell what’s going on with the weyrlingmasters anymore; who’s in charge now, anyway? We’re two sevens behind in drills…”

« They mourn us no longer, we are better now, what we’ve done is helping to determine that, and we are doing fine in drills, » Liareth answers, each reply given in matter-of-fact rapid fire. « Now how does your constant worrying help any of this? »

“It’s not that simple, Liareth!” the weyrling snaps at her lifemate, at least keeping the volume of her voice in check. Though it isn’t as though anyone might hear her up here. “It was this on top of a bunch of people moving to Southern and the old weyrlingmaster being murdered. And you know Wayneth and hers aren’t here anymore; that happened nearly the same time we left. We lost a rider; the mourning got doubled. This Weyr - our home, Lia - has been suffering without full strength and without steady, competent leadership for too long, and what we did upset what little precarious balance it gained. Now it looks like we have people with a little too much ambition trying to cut in and take advantage of that, and I’m not sure it’ll be much better for us than the Reachians were.” See? Her Harper training is still good for helping her guess what’s been going on politically. She thinks.

« Strife often comes before peace. » As Kyara begins to growl her protest over that, Liareth goes on imperiously. « You will see! Things will shift and become better than they have been in a long while. »

“And you can predict this, can you?”

« It is the most practical outcome. Those who care about our survival as our enemy draws near must and will affect that change. The Weyr will adapt or it will fall. The same goes for you, my love. »

“I’m trying, Lia.” Kyara finally stops her pacing, coming to the mouth of the ledge’s cave and deflating against the threshold to sit heavily. “I just…I don’t know if I can…” She rests her head in her hands, steadying her breathing. For the first time since returning, she considers that maybe, maybe, it might be good for her to go see a mindhealer. But what could she say without giving everything away?

« You can. » Liareth asserts warmly, coming over to touch her nose to Kyara’s head and puffing a gentle breath that rustles her hair. « I know this about you. You have seen how truth is grey, not black and white. But you fight against yourself, clinging to the white side of things and resisting the black, not wanting to see how they mix when you’ve seen it so much in the past. One is not necessarily better than the other; they are different ways to deal with different circumstances. Those around us are not black and white, either. You know this. » There is a pause; fountains trickle in the subtle chuckling of amusement. « Except, perhaps, for Dhioth. But not you, my Kyara. You are close to the balance you need. And I will be very glad the day you’re able to find it and be at peace with the way things work. »

Looking up and placing her hands on her lifemate’s soft, warm nose, Kyara sighs and is quiet for a long moment, rubbing gently. So, this is why she chose me. “Be patient with me, love.” She knows Liareth is right, but also… “Some people and circumstances are more one way than the other, though. And I will be very glad the day you’re able to see that.” Liareth huffs and grumbles, but doesn’t comment further, instead laying down in front of Kyara, who looks intently into her eyes. “Even if everything else is worked out, there is still the fact that I broke a promise to make another. If I want people to see that I have integrity, I can’t do things like that.”

« Your integrity is not in question. »

“I question my integrity.”

« What do you intend to do, then? » The question comes in frustration, a quick bubbling of a pool and a wash of steam that ceases just as suddenly, dissipating over the tranquil water. « What will give you peace of mind? »

A long sigh, and Kyara lets her hands drop, looking out beyond the rippling air to the other side of the Bowl. “I…don’t know yet. I need to see what happens in the next few days.”

And yet, deep down, she does know. She is simply afraid. Therefore, silence will be kept - for now. In the meantime, she will have to see just how well she knows those who are important to her.