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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Gentleness has been a point that has come up recently for me to look at and integrate into my life because I realized through support that I have not allowed this expression to come through in myself and so in my living. I have recently started to open up the side of myself that I have always resisted to face and that is the more evil side of who I have become in this life. Now there is a movement within me when I see that I am evil in my ways and obviously this is not what the mind as ego wants to look at as it shows our true nature, who we are underneath the shell of the persona we have created for the outside world. The secretmind of ourselves is what I am currently looking at and the implications of the evilness that I have participated in in my mind and so then lived out in my life which causes outflows of abuse that can not be really understood of their reach. What I mean by this is that when I say something in reaction to a co-worker for instance, I don’t know how that person will internalize it and then through their own mind live it out, it could be they get up and live the job for instance or they go home and yell at their kids and then their kids are effected by one instance of outburst I lived out because I was not self aware and self disciplined enough to stop myself. The effects of our words and actions ripple’s throughout time and through life so it’s important that we understand this and walk the process of self correction.

So with the support of others, my buddy specifically through the desteni I process I am currently walking, she shared the insight that I have not yet allowed myself to be gentle with myself and so I then can not live this out in my world because it is not an expression of me as of yet. I have not yet given to myself the tools to support to understand what this means to be gentle, how I am not being this way, why I should live in this way, and so the solution as the realizations as foundation to live this within myself and so in my life.

So first I want to clear the word evil to let go of the negative attachment I have toward it and then walk the point of investigating and supporting myself to practically live gentleness for myself and so for everyone in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the word evil in fear as I see this as something that can not be undone or be corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the word evil is an absolute definition about someone or something and within being labeled or seen as evil then you are damned to this label forevermore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the belief that the word evil means absolute when in reality I see, realize, and understand that evil is a point of misalignment and so within that there is a correction process that is required to become back in alignment with life as one lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the process of correction as something that is so far in the future that I fear that I will fall and not be able to give up my evil ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the belief that I will fall and give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in the thoughts that I will fall and give up and continue with what is not best for all as the evil that exists within what I do in this way of living, and so manifest this and perpetuate in in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the breath of life as this process being walked where life is here and so am I, and then in each moment is the opportunity for life and through applying what is here as tools of support and solutions that are common sense and best for all, this process of self correction and self perfection is inevitable as I walk breath by breath here where I am always at and so can create from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a bad person because of the way in which I behaved and acted based on not being disciplined and self determined to stop my thoughts and energies to thus prevent the abuse from occurring as I see the outflows it will create before hand.

I forgive myself that I have not as of yet accepted and allowed myself to live the act of prevention is the best cure by staying principled within my living and stopping my mind from directing me through counterbalancing it with my own self directive will in the moment to moment application of day to day living where I see, realize, and understand that change is able to be lived by don’t live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall within self honesty where I give my mind more of myself by giving into resistances and so face the consequences of abuse and mis-takes as I am not able to be here and be fully aware because I have allowed myself to go into my mind and live it out through accepting it to overwhelm and live it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the personality play outs I have existed as in my living and so become addicted to the programmable reactions where I allow that to play out as it’s easier rather then asserting myself and changing myself to become my own self directive will by actually willing myself to stop and so change in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for this as a bad/evil person and so want to punish myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself and so create the breeding ground for the mind to overwhelm and live out the abuse in my life.

When and as I see I am going into a point of seeing myself as evil and moving in the direction of giving into resistances in my living, I stop and breath, and realize this is a recipe for self abuse and so abuse out in my world.

I commit myself to let go of the belief that evil is bad or unchangeable through realizing that it’s a mis-alignment in life that needs understanding and correction through a self process.

I commit myself to investigate all ways and mind patterns in which I describe as evil so I can understand myself as it and correct myself.

I commit myself to let go of the addictions to resistances and energy movements and push myself beyond my limitationseach and every time I see it is able to be done until I do not have to push anymore but it is lived as me.

I commit to redefine words that will support me in this venture to ensure I give myself care equal to how I would like to give it to others.

I commit myself to redefine evil and live this word as actions of misalignment in my living followed by thought patterns andenergyreactions that are in need of understanding and correction asap.

The next blog, I will walk the process of redefining gentleness for myself and laying a foundation for how I will walk in practically in my life and why I am doing so. Thanks for reading.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

When I look at unconditional support I see the principle of
give as I would like to receive as well as the principle of doing what is best
for all, these two points void the action of self interest in anyway. Self
interest being the interest of yourself over the well being of others. Giving unconditional support is
an action of putting yourself in the shoes of another and supporting them in a
way that is understanding from where they are at, how they have created themselves,
where their frame of mind is, and considering what is best for them in the
context of common sense and living that within what you do. This will require one to transcend self interest, and face fears because this action will push
self to step outside of one’s comfort zone and put yourself out there.

So in my last blog, Henri my dog showed me what it is to be
unconditional with others as he supports human beings in our processes of aligning
with life, standing as life, and living equal to life that is within all
species. I have found some points within myself that have prevented me from
standing as a support in an unconditional way and I see it is due to the fact
of living in self interest and not wanting to let go of this completely so I
can stand as this support for others to support what is best for all and for
others to have the opportunity to live in this way as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
see unconditional support as a action of giving I am not able to achieve because
of the emotions and feelings involved within these actions when I see I have
the opportunity come up to live this out.

I forgive myself I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that the experiences of emotion and feeling that come up in the moments
where I see I am able to give support to another in an unconditional way, then
I don’t, is too much and too overwhelming to actually move through and give the
support that is necessary that’ll move the other into a point of opportunity
for self realization in what is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
blame the energy experiences I am existing within as a point of stopping myself
from moving into the living application of unconditional support with others
because within this I am hiding and suppressing the fact that I don’t want to
give up my self interest of being comfortable and not pushing myself beyond my
perceive limits that I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
see that others are not worth my time and/or effort to support as I have
created a negative relationship attachment to them based on an emotional
experiences I have attached to them from my past moments with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take another’s actions and words personally and see it as something being done
unto me instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding they are living out a
mind system program and is not personal to me, but in a way required to be
lived out until they see themselves who they are and can change it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
separate myself from others in a sense where I believe I am more then or righteous
within my actions based on who I perceive myself to be in relation to them, and
so create a belief that I act in specific ways to my liking or my self interest
and so miss and subvert the opportunity to support this other being
unconditionally as how I would like to be supported.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I am more then other’s in this life due to the path I have walked
in my life and how I have created myself as my life to this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see other’s in a
way that isseparate from me where
I follow thoughts, judgments, beliefs as emotional/feeling experiences within
me to define and so determine who I will be toward them rather then letting go
of my mind as the self definition I have created as myself based on system designs
of personality, and so move into life as a being that is self directed moving
within common sense and what is best in the moment for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
place my self interest above what is best for all in moments due to the fear of
missing out on something that I desire and so create the cycle of fear/desire
and missed opportunities and abuse in my wake as I continue to live within self
interest as my mind in alternate realities, and so I forgive myself that I have
not accepted and allowed myself to let go of fear of loss and live within the
actions of the physical in what is best for all as this will always be here to
walk and will always support what is best in all that is created which is the
highest potential and so what is in fact life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear letting go of my ego to walk unconditional support due to the belief that
I will be hurt and abused and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed
myself to fear abuse and pain in this life when I see, realize, and understand
that pain and abuse is moments in time that may occur though I realize these
moments do not define me and so can be transcended within the action of doing
what is best for all in that moment and so living my highest potential in that
moment I am able to which will define who I am and so within this living walk
what is best for all which is in alignment with life as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me into self
suppression of who I really am due to accepting and allowing these thoughts as
judgments, pictures, imaginations, memories, and defining myself by the energy
that is generated through thinking and participating within these mind
dimensions, instead of standing stable, breathing, moving through these mind
dimensions in understanding and self discipline to stop and not accept and
allow myself to continue within them, but walk the correction process in that
moment which if I breath and move and see, a solution will be created and I
will have the correction process to be walked in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
see difference in this world as a bad thing and something that is separating us
from each other, instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding the design of
this current existence as mind consciousness system and the outflows of this as
system designs each human has created and molded as themselves, but can be seen
and distinguished to better understand each individual and so find ways to
support the person in an unconditional way that will bring about what is best
for all and what is best for the moment to create what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge life here within energy experiences in my physical through beliefs I have
created of myself based on thoughts, memories, and self interest.

More to come in my next blog, self commitments as well. Thanks for reading.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

I am going to start a new series to bring to the awareness
of myself the many gifts I have been given and are given in life, so much of my
mind and self is occupied on the negative parts of life, but not so much is
looked and realized in the gifts that are ever present here in life if I but
become aware of them. This we all can do and I will open this point up more for
myself so I can become more clear in what this means for me as this was brought
up in a leadership chat I participated in today. The topic was about when
someone passes for instance that is close to you, we normally focus on the loss
of the person or animal, which is relevant and ok for grieving purposes, but
also to realize and remember that the life that was lived (in this instance) had
gifts within it one can learn from and live within their own lives, which
honors the person/pet that lived and supports others to do the
same.So it was a cool point and
interesting as I so much have been focusing on the lose/death/unknown of life
not realizing and seeing that there is life here as gifts that are real and
practical and can be learned to support with solutions to grow and expand as ourselves as life.

So my first relationship that I want to open up this point
with is one that I can say is individual or personal to myself/alone and
different in the sense that it’s not riddled with emotional and feeling energy
in the way of drama/entertainment/extravaganza as human relationships can go so
to say, this relationship is with Henri my dog. Everyone that knows me knows
how much Henri means to me and how close we are with each other, I have made
him my companion since the day I got him when he was 8 weeks old and have been
with him every since. Though he is an animal, it’s been a unique relationship
because of this very fact, he is an animal and is not like a human, so for me
it’s a different vintage point, a different perspective, a different way of
living that I align with very nicely and I enjoy immensely.

I am not pure within this relationship as I can see my
dependency on him at times where I will go to him for comfort or to have a
moment of ‘escape’ of the pressures that are existing in the ‘human’ world so
to speak, and so there are points I must walk through still to support myself
to be stable here with humans and animals alike. With Henri there is an aspect
of care I enjoy as I am responsible for his care and he depends on me for it,
so he is supporting me to give as I would like to receive every day I am with
him and this supports a lot with expansion in self giving and releasing self
interest. So we support each other in different ways though there is a
stability and equality existed within it as we walk together which is quite in
interesting point to live in this way. He stands as a point of stability for a
moment for me to see what that in fact means, all animals in there own way
stand as this point I have found, most all of the one’s I have met from horses,
to chickens, to birds, to cats, there is a sense of groundedness as well as the
fact that they are physical, they are here, they are simple in terms of their
requirements in living though they all have a unique expression and life within
them that is very real and natural.

One point specific with Henri that I wanted to bring up here
that is more a prominent gift he has shown me is the unconditional way in which
he approaches others in my life. Many if not all dogs do have this aspect about
them where they will approach most people without any hesitation, if they sense
something’s off, they will hesitate in terms of danger or something in this
line, but the people I have had a hard time with for instance in my personal
life, he unconditional approaches and supports the person with his expression,
and this does not change from one to the next. Regardless of what and how the
person behaves or acts, Henri in these moments shows me what it means to be
unconditional because when I see this and realize it when it’s happening, I say
to myself ‘man, he just goes up and plays/has fun, loves on, and supports
them’, there is no thought, no emotion or judgment, it just is a stable
approach of enjoyment/play/fun as his expression without regard of who the
person is in the sense of how I would approach them with thoughts, judgements,
reactions, I couldn’t fathom the thought of doing what Henri does at times when
it’s hectic.

So out of a lot of gifts I have been given with Henri on
this path together for a moment, the unconditonalness of his expression is one
that has had more of an impact on me because of the fact that I don’t see
anything like this anywhere in the ‘human’ world. It’s so pure and innocent, so
it’s an awesome example and gift I have been given through Henri’s expression
in this case of what this looks like and how to live it. It’s a process
obviously to stand as this point, but it is possible as the animal demonstrates
here for example, and in blogs to come I will walk self forgiveness and self
commitments on this point of uncondtionalness for more clarity and specificity on
how to live this, but this to open the point up.

Continuing on with the fears that come up as I enter the
business world and within starting a business as a saleswomen. This fear of
approaching people is one that has a lot of emotional energy involved within it
due to the fact that this fear has been with me for a long time. What is
driving this fear is the unknown factor that is existent within the very action
of having to approach people and introduce them to what I am offering, this is
a self initiative that I have to embody and self direct if I indeed want to
sell them. This emotional experience I realize is based on over time allowing
this fear and the thoughts that go with this fear to accumulate and not
actually move myself enough to counter act the fear by approaching people and
talk to them on a consistent basis.

I realize however that through action this fear will be
transcended because I already see that I am able to go up and speak to
strangers as anyone is by simply walking the physical steps and moving my mouth
and speaking. The capabilities are there, I just have to move through this
emotional energy as fear that I am allowing to hold me back and stay in a state
of stagnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that within myself I am existing as someone who is not good enough to
approach other people and show them what I have to offer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become stifled with thoughts of how good others look and act when they approach
others and how I am not able to do it as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
judge myself compared to others in a moment when I see, realize, and understood
that those other people did not just become this great speaker/seller in this
moment, they too walked a process, went through trial and errors, and persevered
to be where they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself in
believing that I am and should just know how to speak to people and show them
what I have to offer in an instant and automatically, not seeing, realizing,
and understanding that it’ll take effort, consistency, and perseverance to see
my actions reap the benefits of what I have put in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
desire my business to be a success without having to work for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
become deluded within desires in alternate realities in my mind of just
becoming a success that are not reality based because I am not walking the
steps to create this and so instead creatinig disillusionment and missed
opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
allow the fear of approaching strangers direct me into a stagnation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear strangers rejecting me and so me having to face rejection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
be stifled by the fear of rejection instead of realizing it is part of business
and life and so it’s something to be embraced and learned from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
miss opportunities here because of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear moving myself because of fear itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe the existence of fear is real and that it can make me not move.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in fear and
so stagnation instead of making actions in the physical to accumulate my
business and do what needs to be done to be successful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge
myself for the falls and not realize, see, and understand it’s not what happens
to me but who I am within what is happening.

When and as I see I am going into a point of fearing
approaching strangers, I breath and stop, and realize that this fear is
irrational as it’s not actually real, I see, realize, and understand I am able
to move forward, I am able to get myself in front of others, and I am able to
walk the process to move my business forward by walking the actions necessary
to become more skilled and more experienced within selling what my business has
to offer.

I commit myself to breath through the fear of approaching
people and move myself to do so when this fear occurs using scripts to ease the
approach and find ways to get others interested in what I have to say and offer
them by being creative and going for it without fear.

I commit myself to stop the fear and focus on the bigger
goals I have to why I am walking this business and for what purpose in helping
others become more independent and empowered within themselves.

I commit myself to find all ways that I am able to make a
success of myself as a business women and a human being on this planet in ways
that will be best for all life.

I commit myself to do what ever is necessary to ensure I am
successful and moving myself everyday in physical reality with physical actions
to ensure I give myself the path to walk the process of making a success of my
business.

I commit myself to create success within myself as my
business and life through perseverance and dedication to what is best for all
through all that I do.