Month: November 2018

Giving your children all the love and attention they deserve in these busier than ever times.

After some whining from my kids, I decided to take them from school a few days a week, instead of them going in the school bus. This was after numerous complaints from them that I am not picking them up, “but Adam’s mom comes every day.”

I thought I will go during my lunch break. I hardly ever go out for lunch. I usually just eat my packed lunch at my desk. Anyway, I took off at 13h00, it takes me about 15 mins to get to school and I only need to be there at 13h30. I had lots of time.

Driving out of the gate at my office I saw lots of cars on the road and thought everyone must be going out for lunch, which is ok, we all need a break. I caught the green light once or twice, so great I thought. I can do this. Just around the corner and about 10 mins from school, to my dismay, we went bumper to bumper.

I couldn’t even see ahead to check what’s going on. It must be all these grannies on the road going nowhere slowly! As we inch forward in 30 degrees heat I thought of all the messages I’ll get when I am back at the office. Everyone is going to be looking for me. I had 5 missed calls on my cell phone already.

So much for trying to keep everyone happy. We get closer to the intersection and I see workmen ahead. A big truck is blocking the road. They are painting the road markings. Great, we need that, but do they have to do this now? I’m gonna be late!

I make it to school, it’s 13h45. I need to be back at the office by 14h00. I look for my boys but can’t find them. I check in the classrooms, on the soccer field, in the bathroom. Nobody.

I get in the car to drive to Aftercare which is across the road at the other campus. I could walk, but not now! No, they are not here today said Mrs Brown. I go into a slight panic, am trying to hold it together. I get an incoming call. It’s Shaun the bus driver.

What could this be about? Shaun said he was in front of our gate, can I please open the gate. I said, “Shaun, I sent a message this morning to say that you don’t have to collect the boys today and that I will come and fetch them. Shaun said, “Yes Madam I got the message, but when I saw the boys at Aftercare I thought you forgot so I decided to take them.” I said, “Thank you Shaun. No problem. See you tomorrow.”

I called my husband to tell him what happened. He stopped me in mid-sentence. “Mich, I’m in a meeting, is it important?” “No my darling, it’s not. Don’t worry. Let’s talk later.” I drove back to the office thinking of everything I could have done instead of working myself up in traffic, trying to be a model wife, mother and worker.

Yeah, I would also like to play golf all day, collect my kids, then sit at the clubhouse drinking martinis. One day when I’m big. As I write this my little one is following me around. I usually do it when they are asleep. Why are you following me around boy, I asked. Go and build your Lego. “No mommy, I wanna be with you!”

Take back control of your life.

Now and then. The present and the past. Depending on which side of the hemisphere you are on, you are either preparing for winter or for summer.

You are either looking forward or you are dreading the sweltering heat or the cold and snow. Or you could be close to the equator, where you experience neither.

Let’s take stock, are you better or worse off than you were last year this time? How have you fared in your relationships, at work, in your business, your finances?

The art of living is to constantly improve and become better than you were yesterday. It should be a natural progression.

Sometimes things happen that is beyond our control like an unexpected illness, losing your job, going through a breakup or divorce. This sets you back.

You feel stressed out and sorry for yourself. It doesn’t have to be this way. Most times it is not the situation itself that is challenging, but our thoughts around it.

How do you deal with a difficult situation? For the longest time, all I wanted to do was run and hide. I don’t like confrontation.

Here are a few reasons why you should be happier today

1. You are still here

Some people didn’t make it. Appreciate that you are alive and well. Showing gratitude uplifts the spirit and you feel like you are bringing value.

2. 365 days wiser

Every day we learn and grow. Our experiences are our most valuable lessons. To be able to take any situation whether good or bad, take your feelings out of it and determine the lesson. There is always a lesson.

3. Family and friends matter

I know we sometimes think we can do without them, but your family is your family. You cannot choose them, but you can choose how you will be treated and how you will treat others.

4. You have something to do

Because our days are so rushed, we hardly ever stop to appreciate that we still have a job or that you are running your business. You get a paycheck at month end that you choose to spend as you like.

5. You have an opportunity to make better choices

You cannot change what happened last year, but you can begin immediately to make a better tomorrow. Change can only happen in the present moment, so stop dwelling on the past. Change is the only constant.

Have you smelled the roses today? Get up, go outside (like seriously, right now. I’ll wait) and look around. Take in everything you see that is good and that adds value. Find joy, actively search for it today and you will find it.

Others go out of their way to have a bad day. They want everyone to know. Steer clear! It’s better to be alone than in bad company.

If I look back at the person I was a year ago I can see that I’ve come a long way. I hope you have too. Think about it, a year from now it will even be better.

It is not too late, start today to write down your goals. Start actively pursuing those goals. Make it your mission to do better and become better.

It all starts with the realisation that something has to change. Don’t let your circumstances box you in. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. They are wrong. They look at you and silently wish that they had the guts to try too.

The great thing is, you don’t have to tell anyone about the positive changes in your life. They can see it. A new life awaits. All you have to do is nod your head and say, I’m in!

Relationships are the foundation of a happy and fulfilled life. We can have all the money in the world, but without happy, healthy relationships we are kind of lost. Where, how do you ensure that your relationships are flourishing? When you are so excited, you can’t wait to get back to your loved ones. Marriage is a lot of work. When we say I do, you are in a state of pure bliss that feels like it’s never going to end. Wait till you get back from your honeymoon and you have to pick up wet towels from the bathroom floor and all his clothes are everywhere except in the washing basket.

Then you have your first child and nothing prepares you for the sleepless nights and constant near exhaustion. You are tired all the time and start wondering, how did I get here? It’s not fun anymore. Children eventually grow up and they bring you so much joy and it will all be worth it. Even though your partner makes you angry, hurt your feelings, just think back to the time when you first got together. What was it about him that attracted you in the first place? Sure, there was a lot of sexual chemistry, but that cannot be all. You’ll need a stronger foundation than that when things get rough. It’s easy when things are easy. It’s not so easy when things are hard. When you have a crying, colicky baby in your arms and he comes home from work, where he did not have to put up with the crying, colicky baby and he asks: “what’s for dinner?” You want to throw him with the crying, colicky baby. Anyway, why do you have to put up the crying, colicky baby alone? He is 50% of the reason why you have a crying colicky baby in your arms!

You wonder how your parents made it through. Things must have been easier back then. No, not really, it’s the mindset that was different. Yes, women were more dependent on their husbands back then, for their own and their children’s welfare. Now women earn more, they are more independent and can also wear the pants if they wanted to. But let him wear the pants. It will save you a lot of heartache. Men are wired to be the breadwinner and take care of the family. It’s great that you can contribute, but let him take the lead. We believe we have changed so much, but the fundamentals stay the same. You just have to look past all the noise and hype. It is no easy decision to decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. Let it not be an easy decision to call it quits and throw it all away. We women can be very stubborn and want to have the last word. You may win that fight, but at what cost? If he has said or done something you don’t like, that makes you upset, let him know, but leave it at that. Don’t get vindictive and bring up his past mistakes and failures. That’s what will drive him away. You must let go sometimes and trust the process. Trust that things will work out. That you both will get to that happy place again. The getting back takes time. You have to be patient. But like everything else that is worth persuing, it will be worth it.

Once you have children you owe it to them to try again and again and to not give up. Make a decision to stop fighting and work towards peace in your home. In the middle of a heated debate, take a deep breath, tell yourself that it’s not worth it. You’re not throwing in the towel. Just take out the pot and get dinner going. Actions speak louder than words. Watch, and wait and see who will want to cuddle tonight. Can you smell the victory? Girl, it’s all up to you.

$200 if I come back next week and your status remains unchanged.

They say the wealthiest place on earth is the graveyard. What about the gold mines that are inside our heads just waiting to be mined? Someone told me yesterday that I’m talented.

As always, I couldn’t just take the compliment and say thank you. I was like, it’s only the beginning of my writing career. There is so much that I still want to achieve. There are so many people who are much better writers and who are much further along.

After the experience with my failed business, I have been cautious. Maybe too cautious. The demons are never far away. They are untouchable, but they can fill up a whole room. That’s because we let them.

I have this one event in mind. To invite like-minded people to share ideas and stories. To promote artists, authors, musicians and share good food and conversation. I’ve had it for a while now. I know who I want to invite. I have a venue in mind. I know what look and feel I want. I know every detail, down to the wallpaper. However, it’s collecting cobwebs in my head.

What is holding me back? Fear. Fear, that it’s not going to be successful. Fear of what people will think and say. I write all these great things how you should go after your dreams. Not to let anything hold you back.

Preach, Miss Preacher. One day is one day.

I think penning it down here helps. It helps to face the monster. Of course, we first have to acknowledge that the monster exists.

That one obstacle that cripples you.

Fear of rejection

Fear of failure

Self Doubt

Fear of losing money

Fear of going outside of our comfort zone

Great things are achieved by failing again and again and yet not giving up.
What is your million dollar idea, sitting inside your head and collecting dust?

Can you afford to waste another minute?

It’s not easy. No one says it will be. What is it costing you? The costs are huge.

You are not getting any younger.

You will never know if it works until you try

If you tried and it didn’t work, you will know and you’ll stop expending mental energy on that idea

In the process of failing you will gain valuable knowledge that you can implement in your next plan.

In fact, you are not really failing. You are winning — in experience, business sense, meeting new people, scrapping useless ideas and perfecting your art.

We all have only one life. The clock is ticking. It’s becoming more and more expensive to hold on to that idea. The pressure is mounting. The only way forward is to stand up straight, take a deep breath and take that first step.

‘And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. — Anais Nin

The universe will be cheering from the sidelines because we want you to succeed. We are on your side. All you have to do is show up.