1. They think about you when you’re not around.

They see a billboard that reminds them of you and they text you. They remember you said you needed dish soap and they bring you some because they were running errands. They think about places you guys could go to dinner tonight and then invite you.

2. They’ll take care of you when you’re sick.

And tell you you’re beautiful even when you look mucus-y and nasty.

3. They listen to you. Really listen.

And respond with thoughtful, relevant insights.

4. They get into your interests and want to share their own with you.

They hate comic books but they’ll come with you to Forbidden Planet. They don’t get sports, but they root for the Giants with you. They’re psyched to show you their stamp collection or take you to an antique show.

5. They plan for the future.

Whether it’s a trip or a concert — placing you in their future means they see a future with you.

6. Your thoughts and opinions are treated with respect.

They never push their views on you or laugh at/dismiss yours, even if they’re wildly different. They should love you for your unique brain.

7. They are eager to help you, and gracious about accepting your help.

If they love you, they want to make your life easier. And if they love you, they should be able to accept help from someone who loves them back.

8. They put your needs above their own.

Not in an unhealthy way, but in a selfless way. (Hopefully, you’re both doing this and it even outs.)

9. You know you can trust them.

10. You never want to break the truth you’ve earned from them.

11. They support you.

They come to your art show. They encourage you to practice with your band. They don’t get jealous or upset when you have to work late. They genuinely want you to succeed.

12. You share a sense of humor.

They think you’re funny. You think they’re funny. That’s true love.

13. They give you freedom to grow.

You don’t feel stifled, stuck or in a rut.

14. You are loyal to each other.

You feel like they are on your team. You’re a partnership. You’re a twosome. You’re in this together.

15. They don’t put you down.

Negging might be part of The Game handbook, but it’s no good in a relationship. They shouldn’t be putting you down. They should be building you up. If they’re doing anything else, they’re insecure and can’t truly love you.

16. They don’t hide anything from you.

Trust, communication and honesty become more important than anything else. It’s humbling and scary, but if you’re truly loved, it’ll come naturally.

17. You are comfortable being silent or away from each other.

Someone who needs to keep talking or needs to cling to you in social situations might seem like they love you, but they actually just need you. It’s not the same, and it’s not as good. If they love you, you will both be secure in comfortable silence, and have the ability to be apart — but still catch each other’s eyes across the room and just…know.

18. They don’t let you get away with bad habits.

They want you to be your best you and they won’t take you being depressive or hating on yourself. They want you to love yourself, as much as they love you.