A new month brings with it 500+ new pages of crap you don’t really need, which is why I’ve sat down once again for Chris vs. Previews!

Highlights this month include my snap judgment of Nick Spencer’s new Jimmy Olsen series, a look at Mark Millar’s new magazine project, and, in the comments, a spirited debate over which subgenre can properly lay claim to a fictional band.

There wasn’t a lot of merch that caught my eye this time around, but there were plenty of comics to talk about, mostly owing to the fact that DC’s got more interesting solicitations than they’ve had in a year and the discovery of a true class act by Hack Slash creator (and former GI Joe artist) Tim Seeley. Enjoy!

As ISB readers–and especially Mike Sterling— well know, the most harrowing pages of the Previews catalog are those in the merchandise section devoted to statues. That’s why today on ComicsAlliance, while other, saner bloggers are devoting their time to chronicling the best things of the year and the decade, I ventured back into the last twelve issues to bring you a year’s worth of terrible statues from the pages of Previews!

There are, of course, a couple that just weren’t odd enough to make the cut. The one pictured above, for instance, is a pretty run-of-the-mill statue of an anime character, except that he is listed as Jimmy, The King of Swanky Boys, which I personally find hysterical.

And then there’s this one:

According to Previews, this is Menas, whose “headdress and scepter are the symbols of her power.” Yes. Because what’s symbolic here is her scepter.

There are fourteen more terrible statues (including some, shockingly enough, that are not super-classy Japanese imports) and one that’s actually awesome, so click over to CA today and catch up on all the horror I missed in a year of not doing Chris vs. Previews!

Today at ComicsAlliance, Chris vs. Previews is back to take another swing at 500 pages of merch! Join me as I go through the highlights and lowlights of the catalog, pointing out a few recommendations and, as always, shaking my head slowly at the severe classiness of the Japanese merchandise imported for the discerning pervert.