Spring has sprung (ish), and the sap is rising. Ah, the season for romance!

So, off to Eastbourne with me, which, the new 2001 census results reveal, has the UK's highest proportion of women to men - though, admittedly, they're mostly women of a certain age with a penchant for Glenn Miller and stairlifts. Just my type.

Ups Youthful Brighton is so over. Genteel: one of our few still-elegant seasides. Clinging to the South Downs. The sea, of course.

Downs Very, very skewed to the retired, with a rather militant under-40s minority. Sometimes you can really miss litter and graffiti.

Getting around A drag to get to: on a limb off the snarled A27, though traffic is sedate in town.