Posts Tagged ‘class of 2015’

TUSB does not have a positive record when it comes to discussing the ASSU. From the elections, to the concept of an ASSU as a whole, it seems like we’ve dissected everything. And yet I still find more to comment on. I’m not asking for anyone to redo the system or for the ASSU to magically grow from being a testing ground for over-eager college students to a mature legislative and executive body. My request is much smaller. And more to the point, this isn’t for me. This is for ’15.

My request is rather simple: bring back the ASSU website. What was supposed to go up on August 10th (sorry but don’t have a screen shot of this) is now an ongoing wait that’s frustrating for all the silent students that check and use the website.

To this year’s Larkinites (but I guess you other freshmen can read this too):

I’ve seen a lot of things in my time here on the Farm. I’ve seen world leaders, I’ve seen philosophers, I’ve seen TV personalities, and I’ve seen Afroman. I’ve seen buildings razed, and seen buildings raised (and heard too; I lived in Toyon through the construction of the Arrillaga dining hall). I’ve seen magic. I’ve seen brilliance. And I’ve seen far too many wangs. In short, I’ve seen Stanford.

Going into my junior year, I’m starting to realize that my time on the Farm is fleeting. What is my legacy to this renowned institution? An article about how my skateboard was stolen and a sketch about Greek life? Nay. This shall be my legacy. My magnum opus. My Toy Story 3. This collection of little time savers and campus observations shall live on forever, and, hopefully, my impact will stretch from here to infinity… and beyond.

Here’s my list of hacks for this year’s incoming class. You’ll hear a bunch of generic pieces of advice (e.g. go to office hours, try a class outside of your area of interest, get out of my way), which are all fine and dandy. The following, though, are things that the typical Stanford student knows, but only after a year or two of experience. I hope you all gain a lot from this list. We here at TUSB are certainly glad to have gained you, Freshmen ‘15 (Please let this name catch on).

Note: Items marked with an asterisk (*) are ones that I, sadly, have learned from experience. Learn from my mistakes.

Stanford foiled me once again, Class of 2015. I was really pumped to be teaching you all the in’s and out’s of Stanford’s quirky language but I sadly did my research and realized that our dear university beat me to it:

AD – Academic Director. Professor advisor with an office in your residence who is a key resource for you during your pre-major years. All Nighter (to pull an…) – A common phenomenon, especially when it’s time for final exams. ASSU – Associated Students of Stanford University – the student government. The Axe – The symbol of rivalry between Stanford University and our traditional rival, U.C. Berkeley (Cal). The Axe is awarded each year to the school winning the Big Game. Axess – The student information system for registering, reviewing grades, changing addresses and other administrative tasks. BART – Bay Area Rapid Transit. A subway system which carries passengers throughout the San Francisco area. Big Game – The annual football matchup against rival Berkeley. Traditionally it’s the last, most highly anticipated football game of the season. Bollards – The metal and wooden posts strategically placed on campus to: 1) keep cars out; and 2) impale hapless bikers. Caltrain – A commuter rail system running between San Francisco and San Jose. Don’t have a car? This is your best bet to get to “the City”. Cardinal – Stanford’s mascot: The color, not the bird! The City – Known as San Francisco to non-Bay Area residents, it’s the cultural center of the Bay Area and popular with students when they want to get off campus. The Claw – Nickname for the fountain in White Plaza, between the Bookstore and Old Union.(more…)