﻿Facing My Inner PainThis is the 5th and last study in this series; sorry I have not been able to write any introduction as yet, but I will post if Jesus wills me to out of His Counsel and ministry to me. I am just facing some inner pain of a basic want for acceptance and emotional closeness, yet truly not sexual intimacy. I am working through this with Him so I am not in a clear "head space" to bring it all to together to share or do I even know if I am to share why I have taken off too high into a buried dead old flight cycle. Please keep me in prayer and thankyou, be blessed with study 5 and be a blessing.Love Kathleen

What’s the difference? And why does it matter? When Yeshua gave His commission to the apostles, it was to make disciples of all men, Baptising them AND “teaching them to OBSERVE ALL THINGS that I have COMMANDED you;” Matthew 28::18-20

Being a disciple is more than being a believer! Being a disciple involves following His example and observing all that He has commanded us. It is being in submission to Him and incorporating the lifestyle of the Master. On many occasions Yeshua shared with the multitudes in parables and ministered to their needs but it was only to the committed ones that He revealed the mysteries of the kingdom. The people thronged around Him, they hung on His every word, so that it is impossible for them to rest or to eat on many occasions and He seeks to come aside and rest. But still they follow.

Mark records an occasion where this happened, that as they sought to find a place of rest in a deserted place, the people followed them and continued with Him all the day. Moved with compassion for them, He fed them before dismissing them to go to their homes (Mark 6:30-44).

He had healed their sicknesses, and He even performed a miracle by multiplying the bread and the fish, so they would not have to go home hungry: but ultimately, He sent them away. In another instance the people stayed with Him for three days, again He taught them and performed many miracles and healings and fed them before He sent them away (Mark 8:1-10).

The people seemed intent upon following Him and yet He sends them away. Why did Yeshua spend time alone with His disciples, and yet He sent the multitude of believers away? John’s account of the feeding of the five thousand is insightful as to why He sends them away. John 6:14 tells us that the people saw the signs that Yeshua did, and exclaimed that He was “truly the Prophet who is come into the world.” They recognised Him as the Messiah! Then in verse 15, the people were even going to take Yeshua by force, and make Him their king (to drive out the Romans)

“When the people therefore saw that Yeshua was not there, nor His disciples, they also got into boats and came to Capernaum, seeking Yeshua. And when they found Him on the other side of the sea, they said to Him, "Rabbi, when did You come here?" Yeshua answered them and said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate of the loaves and were filled.” John 6:24-26

Yeshua recognised their motivation! He saw them as sheep without a Shepherd and ministered to their needs, as a Son of the Father, but He knew what was in their hearts. They followed Him for what they could receive. They were caught up in the signs and wonders and miracles which He did. His Word was with power and they drank from the anointing of the Spirit upon Him. But what kind of seed were they?

Was the Word taking root in their heart and bringing forth fruit?.... .... .... or was the soil of their hearts shallow and infertile? .... .... .... Were they just seeking to have their immediate needs met?

What was the difference that caused Him to spend time with His disciples, while He sent the other believers away? Everyone that Yeshua called, He put to the test - He tested their motivation.

What was the disciples response when they followed Him?

When His ministry was just beginning, Yeshua called out to His disciples, who recognized His anointing, and they immediately left their vocations, in order to follow Him (Matthew 4:18-22; Mark 10:28-31; Luke 5:27-29). They were prepared to lay down their lives and serve Him. Like their father Avraham before them, the disciples left everything, in order to follow at YHWH’s word.

The disciples took care of things that Yeshua did not need to attend to. They were glad to do anything they could to help further their Master’s kingdom, no matter what it was. They did servile tasks, they expended themselves physically, they stayed the course whether the response was good and bad. They were prepared to endanger their lives and be outcasts from the system for His sake (Luke 18:28).

They gave their all!

So while both the believers and the disciples seem to have recognized Yeshua’s anointing, and while both the believers and the disciples seem to have desired to spend time with Yeshua, and learn from Him, it seems that the big difference was in their willingness to serve. The disciples gave everything they had for the privilege of helping their Master build His kingdom. They served YHWH with all of their heart, with all of their soul, and with all of their might. And, since they loved Him more than their lives, He spent time with them. In contrast, the believers all sought to get something from Him. They came to get healed, they came to get fed, and they came for free instruction. This is true even if they were not aware that such selfishness was their real motivation: that is how He saw it.

What is our motivation?

Are we seeking to have our needs met, to be healed, or to get some free instruction?Or have we come to a place where nothing really matters to us anymore but the desire to please Yeshua and to serve Him in every way possible for the rest of our lives? Or are we one of those who can say that He has taught in our streets and done many mighty acts in our midst, yet He will have to say “Depart from Me, I never knew you" (Luke 13:24-27; Matthew 7:21-23). We were in the crowd but not in personal, intimate relationship with Him!

For He sends His rain on the just and the unjust ... ... (Matthew 5:45) “YHWH executes righteousness and justice for those who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.” Psalm 103:6-7

The demonstration of His power - His mighty acts, are for the believers; but the close intimate fellowship, are for those who become His disciples, who lay down their lives in service to and for Him and walk in His ways."1. [Hammond, Sep. 2012]1. Hammond G. Excuses Against Discipleship Study 5 - Are We Believers or Disciples? [Bethal Ministries, P.O. Box 2291 Toowoomba, Queensland 4350, 2012]Be blessed and be a blessing

"Would you marry me and love me so" is the question that has been coming up in my spirit for the last few weeks and especially when I play Would You by Evie on LP.I answer - "oh I hope so, yes I hope so, I really do hope so." If I was tested face to face with this woman can I be obedient to keep my word and take a hold of Kingdom living in the very depth of me? Am I really prepared to surrender my all to honour my "yes I hope so"? "I'll try so, yes I will try so, I really will try so." The answer is yes I will, and not only that I will remove myself from the situation full stop and move well away from the temptation "if your right eye offend you pluck it out (Matthew 18:9)"There will come a time when you also will be asked this question from Him "Will you marry me and be my Bride?" It may be today, tomorrow or in years to come or in a time when you are in your hour of temptation to be tested and tried as He shows you the condition and pain of your heart. If you say yes, He will prepare you to be His Bride in all that this entails so that you go to the consummation of His great wedding feast. LISTEN, when the rubber hits the road Discipleship will cost you your life, and you will have to deny yourself to pick up your cross, share in His suffering and learn obedience through temptation and righteous suffering to obedience. The truth is it's not just for life in eternity for we lay down our life for the love our brethren, we love others more than ourselves, we live to walk those off the stairway to hell and in this we become proven vessels to equip, train, teach and love so others who have SSA can take His Life and become His Discipe and the overcomer. You and I know it will not be an easy walk or any easy road to take with the training the endurance the commitment, but it will be all worth it when we receive our crown of glory to "have the right to the tree of life, and enter in through the gates into the city"(Revelation 22:14) of our Great King. Be blessed and be a blessing with Study 3. Amen and Amen.

_____________________________________________________________________THE CALL TO BE A DISCIPLE "EXCUSES AGAINST DISCIPLESHIPCONT - Study3

3. THE WAVERING MAN"Another said, 'I will follow you, Lord, let me first say farewell to those at my home,' Y'shua said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plough and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'" This man had a problem with temptation! Luke 9:61-62

Y'shua knew the man's heart. He knew what motivated him to say what he did. In verse 62 the Greek means 'one who continues to look back'.

The man's heart was distracted by the things around him. He had not come out of worldly desires which would hinder him serving God. He had not yet gone back to the world, but this is where He was looking. It was not just his family, he was motivated by the self-life. He had not said 'No' to the things that would stop him following Y'shua.

The principle is that we will eventually go where we are looking, sooner or later we will deviate. We will not stay on the straight and narrow while looking to the right or to the left. Our eye needs to be single and our body full of light. Matthew 6:22-23

As ploughing requires the undivided attention of the farmer so being a disciple requires undivided attention. Having begun we must continue on to the finish.

Elisha is an example of one who severed himself from his old life and left himself no means of return. He slew the oxen, his means of living, said farewell and left all. 1 Kings 19:19-21

He took no thought for the future or the consequences of leaving everything.

It requires complete trust in the One Who commissions you to follow.

THE EXAMPLE OF Y'SHUA

Y'shua made no excuses, and we are called to follow Him!

He is the ultimate example, a man that put aside everything of his own interests and was completely obedient even unto death. (Phil.2:8)

How did Y'shua gain that obedience? It was learned!

Y'shua learnt obedience through the things which he suffered, the difficult situations in life where it says that He was tempted in all points as we. Heb.2:8-9; 4:15

He learnt obedience by being obedient!

His obedience gained our salvation.

Our obedience appropriates our salvation!

Matt. 21:28-32 tells a parable of two sons. One paid lip service to God. The other refused initially but repented. God does not want to hear our excuses, He wants our obedience. He wants us to follow in the footsteps of Y'shua.

That is true discipleship!

But, a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1: 8) A foot in both camps, trying to hold onto some of the old while attempting to live the new life, will cause one to not progress spiritually. That person will be a slave to his desires and will not last in the kingdom, but the true son of the kingdom will experience the true liberty of life in Y'shua. Serving Him is not restriction and bondage, but glorious liberty and life. John 8:31-36

So, “If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36) " 1. [Hammond, August 2012]Be blessed and be a blessing

DESTROYED BY LACK OF KNOWLEDGEThis blog is what I experienced in my early years of Christianity and just to make note this December it will be seventeen years since I left the homosexual lifestyle. I see many blogs gets shared around more if they are written personally. I cannot say it is my inner most style that I prefer to do or do I want to adapt to writing like the others for that will only cause me to struggle or drag up the dead past and not be true to myself my intellect and to where Jesus has raised/ matured me to enable me to train and teach.

I guess what I am saying is I prefer theology and biblical teaching and exposing spirits of darkness than identifying personal struggles or digging up the past to teach and train and edify and encourage.However, I know I am called to close doors in peoples lives not to leave them open. Or to change my beliefs on the demonic associated to homosexuality just for notoriety fame or fortune. Either am I to stop proclaiming truth in case it offends believers or denominations who do not hold the doctrinal truths I do, this is something I can not yeild to . I am a warrior and I have been trained for years and years to war against powers and principalities and spiritual wickedness; and I am not about to sell my soul or alter what I believe He has called me to teach and proclaim just out of fear of man/woman or to fit in with the in crowd, let alone join ranks with darkness - I hate them.We all know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood and we know we have an adversary who will to put and keep our brothers and sisters in captivity with their schemes. So if I say that homosexualility is just carnal then I have denied the full gospel of Jesus Christ and go against truth I have proven over and over and over again through the study of The Word.Anyway I am sure the following will bless you it was a pit I fell into and I wrote so that it would not be one you fell into in your transformation from the old you to the new identity in Christ. ..... I believe for us to overcome we will all have to in the strength of The Lord;To die daily to selfPut on Christ ...To remain in The FaithTo allow Him to live through us ...Resist in His strength His utteranceTo enter into fellowship and honest open relationship with Him and The Holy Ghost ...

To even change your style of clothing, not hang with old ‘pals,’ maybe sell or change or store under the house or in storage your furnishings, garden arts, household arts, bed linens, photos, furniture or maybe moving house or having a change of car.

This is only recommended if discerned in The Spirit, at His will. But know that you know that your know it is His will, as the enemy can lead us down the garden path and bring devastation that should never of been brought upon us because we are/were vulnerable and undiscerning and lacking knowledge.

These things may need to occur until the‘real’ you and ‘healed’ you has come forth. Then you see what you may want to take out of storage and you will see you were that personality type anyway –you were an arty creative type person after all and did not need to refurnish your house to look like a ‘conservative norm.’

It is wiser to store than impulsively sell everything or burn photos or burn this or that or sell this or that or move here or there. Of course we have to burn things associated with false religions and the occult and witchcraft practices, but with other things not sure of seek Jesus and when you know that you know that you know that you know from the Holy Spirit burn the ‘this’ or ‘that’ sell the ‘this’ or ‘that’ ‘throw the this or that’ ‘move there or stay where you are’ then do so.

Desperately wanting deliverance from my past and being ‘green’ in the faith I was not knowledgeable enough to store my personal things. I had been receiving counsel and deliverance of spirits from an older woman and older in the faith, so I trusted and trusted her. One day after ministry we walked down my eight stairs that housed different types of potted old kettles on each step, and she said this: “All this stuff has to go,this eccentric you has to go.”

As she looked at the stairs she looked at the garden that was filled with my creative touch. Wagon wheels, herb beds of steel wheels, old beat up Cyclops bikes in circles of steel herb gardens, old plows and a beautiful creative round thirty centimeters deep steel wheel herb garden. A centerpiece created in cake slices of pieces of steel from old wood and gas stoves. So I thought she knew best and I desperately wanted deliverance from tormenting demons and my past, so what I could not sell it went for scrap metal. Years later and to date that person who created designed that was the ‘real’ self, the artistic creative me. All I had to do was store all that until I discerned by my own heart and by The Spirit to put it back. It is good or it is far better to involve Him because when we think we know best, it could be quiet possible we don’t or are not yet ready.

So not knowing I could of put it back in the garden and or would of got to being stable enough to say no I, no I have decided to no longer want that part of my life in my life anymore I was at a loss regretting my loss. Resentful and devastated in heart and angry, so angry that I had been told ‘this eccentric you has to go with all her art’ when I realized that was the real me at the core.

Sometimes it’s only for a season to put stuff away to release the memories of our past and or transcend past the memories of our past.

Some say you have to throw away or burn photos as they give demons legal doorways. “… but just as dangerous spiritually is the ownership of photos and mementos which recall to mind former lustful relationships which were formed in the world, outside of God’s will. By the ownership of such things agreement with the spirits which formerly moved through them is reached. The command is to separate from the ungodly past and to reckon it as dead and gone (Romans 6:2). Only really cleaning house will bring lasting relief from such wicked spirits which trouble Christian marriages and distract with floods of obscene thoughts.” 9.[Worley, 1996:8]

There is an agreement there with darkness, but after a season they lose their grounds when we are renewed, so I disagree. Jesus knows the heart and is able to contend against any spirit on those grounds. I am not going back to the lifestyle of homosexuality and in my heart I would like my photos of sixteen years of my life back, another regretful loss. I cannot just erase sixteen years and pretend it never existed “reckon it as dead and gone”, but I was advised to burn the photos and I did. My heart and my personality is in need of healing more than photos of my past. I live in the house we both lived in together, and The Lord has not required me to move or sell it or burn it! As a woman thinks inher heart so she is and to the pure all things are pure. I have prayed for cleansing and the lifting off of curses over the house and a beautiful silky oak antique dinning table and chairs I have kept. There are things from that time in my life I still have that bring no memories back and no desire to go back to that way of lifestyle. I’m bond-slaved to Jesus; I choose life, the Christ life, I've made my mind up I am not returning to homosexuality - so do you.

So again I do not advice you to burn your photos; store them until you have made the transit from the old to the new in the heart; also, until you are fully committed to a lifestyle of Christianity and or living for Jesus in your ‘healed’ state and stable state. And remember, the nest of spirits connected to homosexuality takes some time to uproot anyway; many are bonded in us to the cords of our iniquity structures and buried in our personality. We need a new mother board, re chipping, re programming, renewing by the washing of the Word and the practice of living by The Word; from the old to become the new and it does not happen over night. We have many learning curves to go through much warfare and much self realization to discern and renew.

So wait then, being knowledgeable enough to decide out of yourself to keep photos, or throw them away or to give them to someone, or to cut ‘the them’ out and not keep the other person(s) you can choose this in time and you may will to want to throw away or not throw away when you can see clearly and are stable.

The principle of being devastated or destroyed by lack of knowledge applies in various arenas of life. As we mature in the faith we do discern the Holy Spirit’s movements. We know His impressions from our own thoughts in our mind and we know His impressions from the demons thoughts on and projected over our mind and we know our own thoughts.

The good news is homosexuals are not born, but many of the listed above circumstances and many other circumstances ‘made us that way’ or ‘caused us to go that way.’ I realize there are various studies done on the brain revealing chemical causations, testosterone levels that cause homosexuality in men and women but this is not my field of revelation and as yet I have not read any evidence that definitely reveals that homosexuality is genetic.

But I do know Biblically Jesus can deliver and change us, He created us then He can if the medical findings are true heal and change any chemical imbalance and balance testosterone in both men and women. Environmental and demonic spiritual causations have to be considered in discerning why some of us are or were bound in homosexuality. I cannot agree there is a natural predisposition to homosexuality when I have such knowledge of demons, curses and the way we treat each other or do not treat each other that seed a root to growth that brings forth a tree of homosexuality and its fruits.

His will now is to guide us in discernment and counsel for restoration, wholeness and total healing through His paths of righteousness. And His paths of righteousness are not just “thou shall not be a homosexual,” or “thou shall not masturbate” and “thou shall obey My commandments or else.”

We have heard this in church over and over again that “legalism cannot stop immorality, laying down the law just heightens the temptation, stimulates the desire to do so and to take the forbidden fruit.” He knows all the fruits of the root of these sexual sins. Then once He has given us the discernment He will give us a new heart. His ways in which to walk in and the power to keep these sexual sin structures dead and a heart for those changes to no longer even want to be that way and a heart of love to love Him, serve Him and stay with Him.

“He restores my soul; He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” Psalm 23:3The gift of Spiritual discernment needs to be operative in us to bring about continued restoration, to get from the fruits to pull up the root(s). We need His enlightenment to discern why the cords of sexual sin have bound us or why we backslide to them. This gift of discernment needs to be sought daily and consciously we intertwine with the gift to lay the axe to the roots to have the root(s) removed and the seeds that gave the root its life.Be blessed and be a blessing

RECALL TAMAR IN 2 SAMUEL 13:12"Remember if you have not had any deliverance for any form of rejection for being a daughter or son because of incest you will be in need of much healing and deliverance of darkness.

Recall Tamar was sexually abused by her half brother (2 Samuel3:12) and her shame went into the soul. Amnon loved her, but it was not genuine love just perverse lust for afterwards he hated her. These types of men are driven by demons of hatred of women, lust, rape and many controlling devils.

Like Tamar was told to hold her peace and be quiet and this is the major work of darkness that demons use to keep secrecy on the mouth. This causes a form of autism over the mouth and a silence that will break when healing comes forth and the breaking of generational curses and curses over your own life.

This type of rejection is fueled with the demonic and flows over into relationship and marriages. Unless uprooted and healing sought these spirits remain at work in your life. You act out of these wounds without even realizing or realizing the triggers that set you off in sin structures or you don’t realize the barrage of overtones of the demonic because you think it is your mind thinking this way.

Memory recall brings back the torment, the doorkeeper of curses and rape keep open the door for future sexual assault and all types of sexual assaults on your sons and daughters and generations to come.

If you have never addressed this in your life, no matter if you are fifty or sixty today is the day to begin. Today is the day to ask Jesus to come into this brokenness. Today is the day to trust He will lead you to receive the ministry, and the determination and change of heart to have this root totally uprooted out of your life and all the demonic plucked out of their dwelling places and uprooted out of the land of the living (Psalm 52:5, 5:10).

The Ministry Fruitful Vine [lot 27 Wellington Road, Lysterfield, Victoria. 3156 – Australia or website: www.fruitfulvine.com.au – Phone (03) 9701 3993; 9752 9429] has an informed teaching on Sexual Abuse plus Controlling Powers these 2 messages in one teaching pack. Including a very comprehensive prayer strategy for freedom from the demonic and curses and strategies for putting you on the road to recovery. To make additional mention this ministry has an excellent teaching and prayer strategy on “Abuse In The House of God” “Alcoholic Abuse” and “The Destruction Of Abuse.”Be blessed and be a blessing

15/11/11Fostering RelationshipWe were all created for a relationship from the garden to walk and talk with God; Jesus is a God that wills for relationship, His Spirit lusts after our heart for communion and fellowship and wants to be intimate and fellowship with us and loves us; yet He will always direct our hearts to Jesus and The Father for relationship.In relationship we find our redemptive purpose He has ordained for us we find where we belong, we find our reason for being we find our true idientity, we see our true self and we find the power to carry it out to live as the woman/man He created us to be and not only this, we come to know The God who truly wants and loves our heart.Fostering relationship with The One True God is an essential part of restoration and when we allow Him to show us the depth of His love and Himself as Love our healing gets cemented. In our healing journey there will be a battle for the heart and the enemy of our heart wills to defame this relationship and they will for us to retain a broken image of not only ourselves but of God as Father and Jesus as Love. In my brokenness it was hard to believe truths and until love and truths were written on my heart and much truth had to be birthed fully in my heart. I could not receive His love and I could not even allow Him to love me and it took not only His anointing on my heart to want relationship but He gave to me sea shells upon sea shells to reinforce His individual love for me. Truth is conflict will arise in our hearts on this journey but if we allow Him to get to the conflict and allow Him to cause us to stay standing in the conflict we will be changed. If we foster relationship with Him being our self where we are at, we will be able to continue on this journey of restoration.Father let a fresh anointing come forth for relationship, let my heart want to know you, want to relate to and want to continue on this path of restoration.In Jesus Name AmenBe blessed and be a blessing

Author

I believe; I am a Teacher and an author equipping the saints in the power and Spirit of Elijah. I write prophetically and write to give knowledge of the darkness linked to SSA so as to bring us out from under the power of darkness into the full Gospel.

I believe; I have an anointed call to teach, train and edify those whowillingly want to get beyond the lust of same sex attraction to those who want to live by His Kingdom lifestyle. "... that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God."

The Ministry is to Believers of The Holy Biblewho are in the Body of Christ who wantfreedom over what they believe is sexual immorality; those who want ways to move beyond the passion of lust and idolatries in homosexuality in line with their views of The Holy Bible, The Inspired Words of God.