No New Year’s Goals Here

It’s January 1st and the heavy pressure of “What are your goals for this year?” is closing in. Although, it stops short; hesitant about approaching me directly.

Perhaps I exhibit a Don’t-Touch-Me attitude along with some brittle skin that keeps “Setting Intentions” in my peripheral, waiting to see if I will acknowledge the concept.

I can sense it pacing back and forth, muttering something about quarterly goals, measurable results, strategic plans. But, the words fall to the ground before they reach me.

A stillness comes from inside of me creating a protective sphere around me. My own thoughts are on pause. It’s so cold, I wrap what heat I have in shaky arms. Preserved. Protected.

There’s peace in this space.

I hear “What do you want to accomplish?” “What are your desires?” “Can you at least name an area of your life in which you want to improve over the next 12 months?” “What’s your focus?”

Yet, I stand in an empty vacuum. Nothing comes to mind.

Then, a bubble of golden light appears before me. A woman in a tailored skirt and smart blouse stands inside. I feel the warm glow of her on my face. Strident, shoulders square, chin level, eyes sure. She harnesses great power from the mountain below her feet.

This woman is me. The Spirits showing me the “me” of New Year’s Past. A golden apparition reminding me of the many, many years I spent the first week of the year leading fabulous workshops on effective goal setting.

Questions arise in me:

Which one of us is right?
Which one of us is better?
Is it possible that both approaches to the New Year are correct?
Am I supposed to be different from how I am right now?

I so admire the woman in the bubble. She’s bitingly smart and laser focused. She has nothing if not ambition. Standing like Wonder Woman, scarf flapping in the wind. And yet, in this moment, there is no pull for me to be more like her.

If all timelines are happening simultaneously, then she and I are both happening right now. So, I send old me love and acceptance for exactly where she is. It feels so good to love myself and know that when I was consciously in that moment, I felt the love from today. And I feel the love she has for me. Giving myself permission to be new and old.

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“I write to open up space for my heart and head to tumble, stumble, bounce, and roll. I write to explore the magic of our world and the power of words. I write to expose the tragic truth of life as well as the authentic abundance and joy. These stories are meant to inspire all of us facing the challenge of knowing and honoring our authentic self in a world of commands and demands.” – Jessica Sabatini