Last Thursday, Artie Hughes was out on his Long Island deck with his wife, relaxing and enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, when suddenly shit from an airplane lavatory rained down on their faces.

Yes, this is one of those stories that makes you realize there is something else entirely to fear out there. Bird shit is no longer the worst possible shit-raining scenario, because now human shit is raining from the sky, too:

"Some black liquid, black oil came off on her face, and I walked around and I looked and said ‘Oh my God.' There was quarter-sized, nickel-sized, dime-sized drops all over my deck, my barbecue, my table," he said.

Hughes, who thought that the "blackish-greenish oil" might be hydraulic fluid, called the police, and an office contacted the Federal Aviation Administration. The FAA, Hughes says, acknowledged that there had been an incident and that "some lavatory excrement had leaked out."