After Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner’s five days before their wedding because he wouldn’t give her a bigger allowance (No, really.), his “Girls Next Door” rushed to his side per the severance agreement they all signed before leaving his employ. Via E!

Keeping with today’s theme of following every single post with a bikini gallery because there’s jackcrap going on – E! just ran a story wondering if Prince William is ever going to join Twitter. I rest my case. – here’s Bridget Marquardt posing for a photo shoot in LA today because she’s the only Girl…

Former Hugh Hefner prisoner Girl Next Door Bridget Marquardt threw a surprise baby shower for Kendra Wilkinson last night because that’s what you do after fondling old man balls together. And this thing had everything! Retardedly huge prego boobs, Holly Madison eating a pickle and, of course, Grandpa Death. Does he want a handjob,…

Here’s Bridget Marquardt filming her travel show Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches. I watched an episode the other night, and at this time, I’d like to take a moment to apologize to the citizens of Alaska for all the commotion. And, also, to Mt. Redoubt for taking the blame. Next one’s on me.

Here’s former Hugh Hefner arm-candy/Girl Next Door Bridget Marquardt filming her new reality show Bridget’s Sexiest Beaches on the Gold Coast in Australia. She’s with a legendary group of young women known as the Meter Maids who prevent parking tickets while wearing bikinis. I don’t even know where to begin with how right everything I…

Kendra Wilkinson is moving out of the Playboy Mansion and starring in her own reality show. (FYI, Holly Madison did not leave the Mansion for Criss Angel. His people are believed to be behind the rumor because he’s a douche.) But Hugh Hefner tells E! Online that the other girls may be getting spinoffs too:…

Playmates and Girls Next Door stars Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt hosted the National Lampoon’s Great American Run this weekend and I have no clue what the hell that is – but here’s my wallet. Gimme the David Spade special; hold the baby.