Monday, June 7, 2010

I escaped. A few weeks ago, as my job was starting to get super stressful again, I flew out to Denver to meet up with the BF who was there for work. I had looked forward to the trip for many reasons—including sleep, becoming one with nature, visiting my friend in Vail, escaping my workaholism, and lots of sexy time with the BF.

I had no problem packing sexy time supplies with me that cleared the airport security check at National. I put all my toiletries in the right size baggie, took out my netbook, took off my shoes, put my weekend bag on the conveyer belt, and there I went—all clear for this well-prepared traveler.

To make a long story short, I accomplished my many goals for the trip—becoming one with nature rocks—but by the end of the long weekend, I was ready to go home. As I was packing my stuff, I didn’t have enough room for all of my sexy time supplies, so one of them had to be concealed in the carry-on bag because there was no room in my baggie.

For some reason, the airport was hopping early on a Sunday morning. I did my usual routine at the security check and passed through without a problem. Well, I physically passed through. As well as my netbook and shoes. My bag was a different story.

I watched as the 2 TSA ‘officers’ (is that the official title?) reversed the conveyor belt so they could take another look at my bag. Apparently, something didn’t look right. And I was holding up the security check line. Suddenly, the conveyor belt jerked forward and one of the officers opened my bag and began to search. He went into one of the innermost pockets in my bag and pulled out (for the line behind me to see)…

My LUBE!

Thankfully it wasn’t like Astroglide or one of those brands whose logo is loud and proud. But still. I felt my face flush pink. And the airport suddenly got incredibly hot and stuffy.

I wasn’t the only one blushing. So was the TSA guy (who couldn’t be more than 25 years old) as he took a long look at the bottle. He handed it to me saying, “Yeah, next time, if this doesn’t fit in your plastic bag, you can put your…uh…lotion…uh…in the bowl with your iPod and stuff.”