THE CASTLE

We woke before the dawn chorus had started to a dark grey sky which looked daunting with the project we had to complete today! After a light breakfast we jumped into Antony’s superb little 2 seater white sports car (AKA the VAN ).Thirty minutes of marching up through the enchanted pine forest from THE NORTH FACE car park we found our way to the top of Allt a Mhuillinn.As Antony vaulted over the double style like a gymnast he made a noise like a squeaky mouse where he now pointed to the patchy blue and grey heavens. With the twinkle of the night stars glistening in between the greys we saw a shooting star. Flying over our heads like a disappearing ptarmigan soaring over the craggy mountain tops. Soon after the wind and the rain slammed into our big bald heads it was like being stabbed by needles. This must be how a dart board feels. Two and a half hours after leaving the NORTH FACE the two of us were faced with a giant rocky buttress. IT WAS THE INFAMOUS CASTLE. The objective was to conquer the 275m castle wall and ridge. with brilliant technique and cunning tactics. This did not go exactly to plan ‘she’ (THE CASTLE) had other plans. I put on my leotard and Antony his suspenders and pointy things on our slippers and set off soloing the pleasant sugar coated rock gendarme. Soon after Antony set off up a short rocky corner with lovely torque placements he then got his axe stuck but managed to top out. I followed up to free it where I then got mine stuck in the same place (Stupid boy) after freeing it we continued up feeling very proud that we had climbed the hard corner solo. As we cornered a boulder the wind had roared up to blow snow into our eyes this is where the pride started to dwindle. Antony my right hand man must have seen my knees quacking where he had dove deep into the ruck sack to pull out the rope. .As i tied on, my chest grew bigger like a wood pigeon calling for his mate. I took my best piece of gear off my slinky leotard and began to swirl it round my head like David did to beat Goliath. As i let the 20 year old hex go (it was size 11) It disappeared into the weakness of the castle walls. I thought this was it, in a second or two me and Ant would be on top of the world. One last crooks but with no skill elegance or panache or even the style of a ballerina I had to give in and throw myself flat on the iced covered slab. My right hand was jamming in just above the Hex as I scrapped away at the ice with my axe. There was nothing It was like a slush puppy! Then with the grace of a centipede prancing over a leaf ‘or dad dancing in a night club on his belly’ I had found myself on top of the castle gates. With a little archery boy in my way the castles last line of defence, I passed the baton to Antony. Where he danced around the tilted pillow like Wayne Sleep. Within a blink of an eye we were stood on the top of the castle like Rocky Balboa holding our hands in the air when the blizzard hit!