LOL…You ARE so funny!
I could ….well, I was about to say, I could never get away with anything but I used to.
I used to own nightclubs (management/promoting, etc). Many a time I had to drive home loaded; and many a time I was stopped. I got to know the police officers very well by first names. They knew I ran clean clubs and even put them onto some of the criminal elements that came through the club…the only thing I asked, “For God’s sake, do NOT arrest them outside my club. And, they didn’t.

I was driving home one night and going very very slow. A cop in Dallas pulled me over and asked me “Have you been smoking?”
I looked at him shocked, and said, “HELL NO, that’s illegal. I’m drunk, not stupid!”
He followed me home to make sure I got there safe and sound.

LMAO…I had this Lincoln with the suicide doors. Remember those? I was driving home one night and I didn’t live too far from the club then. A cop stopped me and asked me why I was practically driving in the middle of the road.

I fussed at him, “DId you see this damn car hood! He looked at me surprised as he glanced at the hood and asked me, “What’s wrong with the hood?”

Well,silly, it doesn’t have a hood ornament.

He looked at me again puzzled and I looked at him and replied back like he was stupid or something if he didn’t understand why I was driving in the middle of the road.

“Officer, there is no hood ornament! Didn’t you see that?! How can I stay on the right side of the road if I have no hood ornament to line up with the yellow stripe!!! So I was driving as close to the stripe as I could!”

Dr. Jeff, when they started making all of those stupid baby cars..you know the damn Honda(s), VW(s), etc. Those weren’t the way cars were supposed to look like. A Lincoln or Cadillac no matter how old it was MADE A STATEMENT!!

One of my favorite cars of all time was a ’55 Chevy I had; taxi cab yellow, black interior, 350 V8, three deuces, Muncie, recurved distributor, headers, wide tires on the back (only way to keep traction), 3.63:1 rear end and full gauges. The first time I took it on the street, I bent all the studs on the back wheels.

Sort of the other end of the world from your Lincoln, but another all American statement.

My current car is a Mustang GT. Another statement and also the only car I’ve ever driven that’s faster than my old ’55.

There’s just something in the American psyche that demands a Cool Ride. It might be long and shiny or a battered old pick up truck, but it’s got to be cool.

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“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.” ― Jeff Cooper, Art of the Rifle