Saturday, April 02, 2005

Dependence,, Independence, Interdependence

relating

"Love can have three dimensions. One is that of dependence; that's what happens to the majority of people. The husband is dependent on the wife, the wife is dependent on the husband; they exploit each other, they dominate each other, they possess each other, the reduce each otherto a commoditity. In ninety-nine percent of cases, that's what is happening inthe world. That's why love, which can open the gates of paradise, opens only the gates of hell.

The second possibility is love between two independent persons. That too happens once in a while. But that too brings misery, because there is no conflict. No adjustment is possible; both are so independent and nobody is ready to compromise, to adjust with the other.

Poets, artists, thinkers, scientists, those who live in a kind of independence, at least in their minds, are impossible people to live with; they are eccentric people to live with. They give freedom to the other, but their freedom looks more like indifference than like freedom, looks more as if they don't care, as if it doesn't matter to them. They leave each other to their own spaces. Relationship seems only to be superficial; they are afrad to go deeper into each other because they are more attached to their freedom than to love, and they don't want to compromise.

And the the third possibility is one of interdependence. That happens very rarely, but whenever it happens a part of paradise falls on the earth. Two persons, neither idependent nor dependent but in a tremendous synchronicity, as if breathiing for each other, one soul in two bodies - whenver that happens, love has happened. Call only this love. The other two are not really love, they are jst arrangements - social, psychological, biological, but arrangements. The third is something spiritual."