So a bikini model and a kaiju walk into Japan’s most famous porn location…to sell toys 【Video】

A rubber suit monster, surreal humor, and a heaping helping of sexual subtext that has nothing to do with the product itself? This might be the alpha and the omega of Japanese commercials.

There are a lot of pools in Japan, but only one that’s known as “The Pool.” Located inside a high-rise in Tokyo’s Shinjuku neighborhood, it’s instantly recognized by its angled wall of windows beyond a metal framework, but it’s not the unique architecture that made this body of water famous. The Pool is Japan’s most famous filming location for adult films and other sexy videos.

Like many other projects filmed at The Pool, the video we’re about to show you features one male and one female performer. Also like many of the fantasy-heavy works produced at the location, the young lady is more attractive than her male co-star…and we mean a lot more attractive.

That craggy-faced, neck-bearded character is Jamila (sometimes called Jamira), one of the many foes who have fought against the heroic Ultraman on his titular TV series. In the show, Jamila initially seems unstoppable, as he’s impervious to almost any conventional attacks the Earth’s defense forces fling at him. But in the end, the monster’s rampage is halted when Ultraman discovers his one weakness: water.

And it’s not as though water just weakens Jamila. If he gets doused with enough of it, he’ll actually die. So even when Miss Bikini beckons him with “Jamila, what are you doing? Come on, let’s swim together!” and playfully splashes him, all he can do is throw up his hands in his best C-3PO impression.

So what’s the point of all this potentially murderous coquettish teasing? Why, to sell a new line of gashapon vending machine toys, of course!

Jamila at the Water’s Edge is a new line of figures designed to sit or hang on the edge of a cup. They’re on sale now at gashapon machines across the country for 300 yen (US$2.50) each, and this ad is aimed at adult Ultraman fans who fondly remember Jamila’s debut in 1966, then moved on to more…mature video entertainment.

▼ Collect them all to relive Jamila’s sexual frustration in a variety of ways!

Perhaps the saddest thing of all is that Jamila wasn’t born a monster. He was originally a human astronaut who came back from a disastrous space mission as a hideous, water-averse mutant, so ostensibly he has the same healthy human urges to jump into that pool as any other red-blooded man. But like the fans of the other videos that were shot at The Pool, he’s going to have to be satisfied looking at, but not touching, the eye candy.