Is the Amazon Icky?

On a Brand g trip. our expert naturalists are well-accustomed to squeamish Americans, and will get you only as up close and personal with wildlife as your own comfort level allows.

by Eric Poole

The Amazon is a lot more than creepy crawlies and humidity. It’s incredibly lush, it features a staggering amount of wildlife (monkeys, jaguars, dolphins, macaws, etc), and most importantly – since we are gay, after all – you can travel there in luxury. ‘Cause let’s face it, it’s a lot more fun watching wild apes while holding a glass of champagne.

You don’t have to travel in 5-star style, of course. You can camp along the Amazon, sleep in a pool of sweat, bathe in bug spray and experience nature in ways both charming and terrifying. But if you’re someone who appreciates both a skiff and a steak, perhaps a company like Brand g Vacations – which offers all-gay, all-inclusive land tours and rivers cruises – is right for you.

Shouldn’t every morning excursion have breakfast and Bloodies?

For starters, the Amazon can be warm and humid, no doubt. But Brand g specifically operates its tours in the cooler spring months. And on these cruises, wildlife excursions occur in the very comfortable morning and evening hours. During the warmer part of the day, you can enjoy the air-conditioned luxury of the river ship. And what a ship it is (we’ll get to that).

Many people think of the creepier, scarier forms of wildlife (snakes, spiders, etc) in the rainforest, and assume any Amazon vacation will be chock full of GROSS. But there are many charming, adorable animals, as well, like turtles, the capybara (pictured below), the river dolphin, etc. The Amazon is a veritable panoply of creatures great and small, and there’s something for everyone.

Fortunately, on a Brand g trip. our expert naturalists are well-accustomed to squeamish Americans, and will get you only as up close and personal with wildlife as your own comfort level allows. So, you can swim with river dolphins and let tarantulas crawl up your sleeve, or you can just watch as somebody else does. It’s all up to you.

It’s not a bottle, but try telling him that

Best of all, once you’ve spent the morning communing with creatures, you can come back to the ship and be pampered like a third world dictator. Get a massage in the spa. Have a four-course lunch. Sit in the hot tub and watch the glorious rainforest pass by.

Hot tub of the Delfin III river cruise ship

On Brand g’s Amazon River Cruise & Machu Picchu Land Tours (which offer you two vastly different experiences in one South American trip) we charter the Delfin III, a 5-star river ship. With just 22 cabins, this ship is renowned for its high level of comfort and service.

Delfin III Dining Room

All rooms on the Delfin III are suites. “Suite” is, of course, a misnomer these days – few “suites” on river or ocean ships (or, for that matter, a lot of hotels) are actual multi-room affairs. But these Delfin III rooms are much larger than average, and come with top-of-the-line amenities.

Cabin on the Delfin III

So, the Amazon is only as “icky” as the method in which you choose to visit it. And that’s entirely up to your own personal tastes.

Check out nature while you check your man tan

But for us, we’ll pretty much choose running to the hot tub over running from a jaguar every time.

Eric Poole is Director of Marketing for Brand g Vacations, the Leader in All-LGBT River Cruises and Land Tours.