12.11.2009

name them one by one

Today,
started off frustrating.

Chloe was late to preschoolbecause well, I’m sort of {in love} with sleeping in. Let’s get real-we’re [always] a healthy few minutes behind, but today we were rushing. Granny {bless her soul} fetched shoes, ponied up hair, and had patience for the both of us…while I grumbled under my breath & remedied an amazing diaper explosion on the babe.We skipped breakfast. We couldn’t find Chloe's shoes. Were there any warm clothes clean? Who knows! Crap! It’s show & tell today! Needless to say: we ran out the door at 9:12.

PS: Preschool starts at nine.

Then, domino effect style, I was going to be late to my 10am visiting teaching appointment. Because [of course] I was still barefoot, in Myron’s athletic shorts, crazy/greasy bed-head, & looking like a legit crazy person. I needed to bathe. So I jumped in the shower hoping that soap/hot water would lift my spirits. Smelling like shampoo & midnight pomegranate always helps, right?

En route to VT, I received a worky-related phone call that stressed me out completely. Like, straw that broke it all style. It wasn’t the end of the world…but it might as well have been because I was acting very, well…drama queen-esque.

And then, on the corner of Pueblo & Lindsay, began inner-Angie-torture-session number 566774503598. Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I have it all together? Seriously, getting your kid to preschool on time ISN’T rocket science, Angie! Why can’t you do this…Why is it like this? You can’t do anything right, girl.You try so hard, why doesn’t it LOOK like you are? Etc.

The stress ulcer forming in my stomach lining aside, visiting teaching was fun. I chatted with cute girls, held babies & gleaned from their strength.

{Deep breath.}

But still: on the cranky-scale 1-10, I was still a good five.I said a long prayer & busted out a pepsi. [A magic combo, btw.]

The spirit quietly whispered, “count your blessings- name them one by one. “

So I did.

And my Myron is always number one.

I thought about him in his little rental car driving to pick up his dad in Vegas post heart surgery today. I thought about how he ordered a convertible just ‘cause he thought it’d be fun.

I thought about him giving Chloe horsey rides & then stopping and asking for a sugar cube.

I thought about him & Livy napping in the bed next to each other & looking like little twinners.

I thought about him wearing a {self-titled} “monkey suit” to a job he isn't a huge fan of...every stinking day-because he loves us THAT much.

I thought about him encouraging me during rough times.

I thought about him praising me during good times.

I thought about the promises to each other that we share. And that was enough.

I only needed to count to one.

***

In our church, we believe that families can be together forever. That through the divine blessings of the temple fathers will be sealed to their children, and children to their fathers. I am deeply grateful for this knowledge.It is my strength. It is my perspective through every discouraging moment that I feel on this earth.

Times are tough, dude.I am really affected by all the turmoil & sadness in the world right now. The economy has hurt me & others I know profoundly. It just seems like, freak….life shouldn’t be so hard! That…coupled with my major tendency to be very sarcastic & hormonal = bad mood.

But I am quickly comforted & lifted by my blessing number one. AKA Myron.I am humbled by the opportunity I have to rally around that boy all the days of my life & throughout all eternity, yo. I’ll probably never understand his love for UFC. And he’ll probably never understand my need to organize things inside of neatly labeled boxes. We are very different and just what each other needs all at the same time. We’re here together. Both of us have hardcore weaknesses but we’re learnin’ together.

Angie. You are beautiful - inside and out. I can't ever get over how wonderfully you present such beautiful and simplistic doctrine. I love temples. I love the gospel. I know that everything you testified of is true. And I think you are just fantastic. FANTASTIC.

you always make me think.sometimes i have to remind my self about the "shouting for joy" thing we all did a long time ago.remember that?yep.then, it's one foot in front of the other.you're so good at that.an inspiration to us all.

Okay sweet girl - what we need is a little gaget that you can keep in your purse that is like a little mini video machine. It only shows past "wow sessions", you know, the awesome moments when you've accomplished the unthinkable, the times you've been of service for someone else, the times that everything worked out and was wonderful, the times your husband tells you your amazing, the times your little girls say or do something for you that just reeks love and affection. By a push of the little button on the little "wow machine" you can see that you are doing everything right and that you are amazing. Sometimes when we are having our pitty parties we forget that we've ever done anything remarkable. I hope you know that I see it. I find you amazing. You are a wonderful example to me. And why can't preschool start at 9:15 or 9:30? I vote for a change!

I can't even tell you how powerful your words are and how they make me think....and it's okay when I see a hand gently shove Chloe in my front door and close it before I can say hi.....I love you....no matter what....and you ARE AWESOME! I had a total melt down in my Primary class two weeks ago as it was the straw that broke all backs....and I sat in my little corner and balled while my hubby tried his best to give a lesson I had studied and made salt dough for each child so they could make a statue of their prized possession and I had made CTR necklaces for ALL of them and then I announced to the class that we felt very lucky because they were going to move us on with our same class rather than be given a new class and the three little girls said WE DON'T LIKE YOU and the boys were all clapping to beat the band.......it was those three little girls that totally made me fall aprt...HOW STUPID IS THAT? Even Phillip said to me Kayola they are just kids.....I DIDN'T CARE.....I couldn't handle the fact that someone didn't dig me when I had put sooooo much heart into it....oh well...I am sure you wanted a novel......and to tell you the truth at this minute not even sure where I was going with this...but I love you and you are amazing....you have more talent in your little finger than all of us put together....and if Chloe gets to preschool late....it's okay....as long as she comes....otherwise I could have another melt down from missing out on her cuteness for the day!!!!!!