I, Anonymous

I have been a loyal wearer of your work wear for decades, Carhartt… until now. Of all the jeans, yours have been the most tried and true, the toughest, and most comfortable. I could always rely on you to stick to function and not sell out to fashion. I went to get me some Carhartt Denim Traditional Fit Jeans--the same damn jeans I've been working in for years. And what do I find? I find some piece of shit baggy-ass jeans made for a goddamn Fubu-wearin' homie! You know the type, with their underwear bunched up over the top of their pants--the same pants that are hangin' halfway down their asses. Of all the jeans manufacturers, Carhartt, I wouldn't have expected this from you. I have been by your side for years, defending your place as the #1 work jean. I've even corrected people when they've misspelled your name! …But those days are over, and I am not the only one who's noticed. I have assembled a blue-collar army, and we're waging war against you and your made-for-a-homie's ass jeans, Carhartt! Lick my sweaty, Levi's 501 Shrink to Fit wearin' balls… Carfartt. --Anonymous