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January 07, 2010

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk (Your body ta-alk...)

Well, we can't call it a subtle episode, now, can we? Starting with yesterday's title...

Although they didn't really need the parenthetical, since we never really got that far.

I'm all for episodes with unity, and this one had it in spades. We had the physically cute...

Destiny and Shaun working out together because they both got rejected. It was actually completely adorable. Also, I felt for her. I totally did those butt exercises this morning and they kill.

And we had the hot...

Clearly that requires no explanation. Cristian got a haircut, though. Weigh in! I haven't quite decided how I feel about it yet.

We had a sweet first kiss...

Aww. I found it a bit hard to swallow that they discussed it so frankly, though. First kisses are usually all kinds of awkward posturing.

There was some dull stuff with the teen set, too, but of course the focal point of the episode was the "parallel" sex scenes. Now, I'm not generally spoiled, but I did have some idea this was going to happen today and was dreading it. But I have to say -- and I know some Blair fans are probably seething today because (a) she can do better and (b) she slept with a man who "really" wants Tea and was just using her to forget that, but here's the thing. I am assuming I was supposed to be watching this juxtaposition and thinking, "Oh, Todd and Tea made love and whispered sweet nothings and shared something meaningful," and, "Ew, Eli and Blair had cheap tawdry sex because they're pathetic people who couldn't have who they really wanted," right? Was I? Because I can't tell. Maybe this is revealing a little too much about myself here, but this one's no contest for me. I could have this:

Boy is Todd hot in that sweatsuit.

Or I could have this:

Yeah, so far I'm not torn.

Moving on, would I rather be doing:

Or would I rather be doing:

Again, which woman am I supposed to be envying? I am not having any inner conflict here.

So my afterglow could include...

Or it could include...

And yeah, yeah, I know Todd and Tea were supposed to be having "farewell" sex, but I'm not new to this show or Carlivati's feelings about this couple, so I know that's not even close to the case. And since when did these two get all loving and cutesy-pie anyway? Was that ever really their appeal? Anyway, back to the issue at hand:

Ah, those moments after. Or:

I wish I could say it was out of good taste that I'm not showing you a screencap of the very major claw marks down Eli's back, but it's really just because I can't get a shot with enough clarity.

Ultimately, while I could've done without the constant mentions of forgetting Todd and Tea, there was no need for all the dread. Blair had a total blast with a sexy, successful (if over-shaven) dude, who was clearly not picturing anyone else for one second of that. It even pissed off Renee, which is always fun, since we only see her three times a year and it's only the first week of January!

As if all of this wasn't fun enough, we got what was quite possibly the greatest line uttered by a soap teen in many, many years from Starr. "I'm not letting you write a musical about me and my baby and Cole and my rapist father."

Can we do that again?

I'm not letting you write a musical about me and my babyand Cole and my rapist father.

I feel like you and I are soul-sisters Louise because I could not agree more.

First off: Cris looks hot. I don't know what it is about David Fumero but I have yet to see a look that doesn't work on him. He's got cheekbones sculpted by ANGELS... AND DEMONS! WORKING TOGETHER! Maybe the shorn look is a bit too shorn but I was still going... DAMN. Hotness.

Now, you may have judged by previous comments that I am, in fact, a huge Blair fan. And I was NOT looking forward to yesterday's show... especially after Tuesday which WAS a gross tawdry set up. But Wednesday's stuff with Blair/Eli? B&E (how fitting to equate them to Breaking and Entering as that's exactly what happened yesterday?) surprised the hell out of me. They were fun and sexy and while I could absolutely tell that the juxtaposition of the two pairs of lovers was supposed to show us that Todd/Tea = True Love while B&E = slutty slutty slut sluts... well, all I saw was that 'true love' was dreary and morose and was all Sad Pandas being Sad... while the soulless whores were having themselves a grand old time... laughing and bouncing off walls and laughing some more. And scandalizing former madames in Renee.

Now, I do think that Kassie and Matt sold the HELL out of it because I don't think the viewers were supposed to get the message of 'True Love = boring morose sex while Whores Have All The Fun' but, you know, I was rather happy to see a guy engaged with Blair. SMILING at her repeatedly like she was actually fun to be around and, yes, wanting more from HER at the end. Quelle surprise!

Plus, I'd forgotten how unbelievably long Kassie DePaiva's legs are.

I think Ron will slap Blair down again as soon as he's able but yesterday was FUN. No one is more surprised than me at how much I enjoyed it.

Dandesun, I can always use a soul sister! I love your B&E thinking; that's definitely what that was. "Sad Pandas being Sad" just made me laugh inappropriately at work. I was thinking the whole time during those scenes that the only thing that could make it better was basically a "Tea who?" from Eli at the end, and that's essentially what we got (what was it they called his attraction to Tea, a "24-hour-bug" or something?). And of course he wants more now!

By the same token, I think the (meta) part in the title was in reference to the meta conversations that largely happened with the teen set. Langston's chirping about Starr's crazy life and planning to make a musical about (while Starr is shocked and stunned) and Markko's chat with Ford about his 'documentary' and how insane the subject matter of it all was.

Very meta.

I'd even throw in the 'Who are you Elijah Clarke?' and 'Who are you Blair Cramer besides Todd Manning's ex?'

So we have the very physical stuff along with the meta conversations. It all works.

No screencap of Blair & Elijah laying on feathers from a pillow they shredded? I was honestly surprised to see such a obviously wild sex scene on a soap (anymore). Clearly GH has conditioned not to expect soaps to be sexy.

I'm happy for Blair. If Todd gets to move on, then so should she. If that just means hot sex for right now I'm okay with that.

Oh and Starr would have spoken more for me if she had said, "Not only should you not write a musical about me & my rapist father but you should absolutely not write another lame-ass musical period." I cannot believe we are going to be subjected to that hell again.

It would be fun to put a 'cap of Blair and Eli on the bed sort of getting dressed again, back to back, as a compared to Todd and Tea who were rather far apart when they were putting their clothes back on.

I assume it was to keep themselves from giving into their Sad Panda sex again. Whereas B&E went right for round two.

The Starr musical... I keep hearing that they ARE going to do another musical. It probably won't be about Starr's crazy life but, in a way, I'm sad about that because then we won't get songs like:

'My Dad's Rapist Buddy Held Me Hostage With A Gun'
'Is it Rape if She Has Amnesia?'
'I Like to Beat Up Kids'
'Russian Mobsters Stuck A Pole Through Brody And That's Not A Euphamism For Sex'
'My Dad's A Douche But I've Made Amends With Him... For Some Reason'

And let's not forget the aria that is sure to come with 'My Crazy Cousin Stole My Baby But It's All Right Now'

Y'all are making me want to go back and actually watch the Blair/Eli sex scene. I skipped over it, because I was expecting to be embarrassed for Blair. That screencap of them giggling is really frigging cute though.

I think Cris's new haircut looks hot, but I couldn't help wondering if it was Haircut Day at the studio, because Rex and Layla have new dos as well.