Post by Jakew on Mar 14, 2014 10:27:32 GMT -7

I read about men who struggle with homosexuality, getting married, then leaving their wives for another man. This terrifies me.

Yet, I understand so much of who I am has been worked on by the devil since I was so young, some of my desires are at the core, seemingly of who I am.

I have fought and fought and fought. I just want to be normal.

In the Bible, it talks about circumcision of children, and in the OT, it was considered mandatory to be sanctified by God. If you were not circumcised, you were a "Heathen", so to speak.

It has been discovered that the foreskin has nerve endings that enhance the pleasure of sex. (Yes. I am aware of what Paul says about it now.)

Was the purpose of circumcision to, in a way, dull the enjoyment of sex? Did God do this so that we would be more focused on Him, and less on worldly pleasures?

That in mind... And this is a serious question. I read the article on "Docking" on a Christian website that deals with women and sex.

Is it okay for a man who struggles with a desire to be... The female- sexually speaking with someone of the same sex, if he finds the woman God has for him, to ask her to do this for him? (Docking)

Skirting around desires we have and not dealing with them is always dangerous. (Saying, "Oh God, take these desires from me!" And not resisting them.)

But could it also inflame the desire to be with an actual man? Such as the use of phallic sex toys?

I used to own a few of those sex toys, and while they curbed desire for a time, I feel like they only made it worse, later. Like it told my body it was okay to satisfy that urge.

While the answer is not to bottle up your feelings and pretend they do not exist, is the sexual act of docking a viable alternative? Or is acknowledgment of our errant desires, and pure abstinence, resistance, and submission to God the only acceptable answer?

Post by mike on Jun 4, 2014 7:24:09 GMT -7

Hi Jake -

For the moment, unless you're married, I don't see the issues with the toys or circumcision as your main issues to focus on. (from memory I think you're single?) It sounds like you're obsessing over the wrong things.
I'd say to focus on your core issues... what are you doing to fill the emptiness? Are you dealing with your wounds and getting help? Have you opened up yet with a Christian brother or mentor at your church and are you staying out of isolation? Are you working at going after God in your personal life and being absorbed in His word?
You can't pretend the struggle isn't there, as you mentioned; the idea is to learn how to cope when those pulls and temptations hit and walk away from them. Obsessing about sex and toys is only going to feed the fires of lust.

Post by Nikanor on Mar 9, 2015 4:59:36 GMT -7

Jakew,I am a volunteer moderator here at BG. I've been a bit busy and trying to keep up with posts here and other obligations in my life so I apologize for the delayed response.I don't know much about you or your background. You can send me a private message (pm) if you wish and let me know what state or country you are in. There are many groups out there that are faith based and biblical. Pursuing God presents the best chance for long term recovery and freedom. I have a friend who was in the homosexual lifestyle for over 20 years and only found freedom when he found and pursued God. He lives with many consequences of his former lifestyle but has found peace through his faith in God. I assume you have done a google search for groups that would either be free or offer substantial tuition help. I am not an expert in this area but I am willing to help. As for the woman in your life, I don't know enough about either of you to make much of a recommendation but it seems you need to probably let that relationship go, for now anyway, and find people who are willing to help you with your struggle and not freak out or fill you with guilt and shame. I don't know that I can give you an adequate 30 or 60 second overview of a God centered relationship but it will include one that forgives, loves the other, is not self-centered, seeks the other's well being, and is self-sacrificing for the other. That is what we strive for but many of us fail on one or more of these points, we are all sinners after-all, but are we godly enough to recognize our faults and forgive?Jakew - stay in touch and let us know how you are doing and how we can be of more help.Blessings,Nikanor

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