A bad start to a relationship does not have to be a deal-breaker, but it usually is.

Why does it happen that way?

Because broken people break people, and hurting people hurt people.

– When people assume others will abandon them, they choose not to invest.– When people assume others are suspicious, they choose not to trust.– When people assume others will take rather than give, they selfishly protect.– When people assume others are means to an end: “Greed meets a need.”

I guess it’s true what they say, you can’t trust anyone Because no matter how much someone can mean to you There isn’t anyone that you can find in life who hasn’t lied Whether once or many times, it doesn’t matter We all do it and we are all to blame No one is perfect but is anyone really innocent? We are people and we find ways to have our fun Some are sick and twisted and get what they want And some are just trying to be happy And it’s true, we don’t think ahead… 1

Since 1990 I’ve worked at TreeHouse. TreeHouse is a faith based, non-profit organization offering hope and guidance to hurting teens, alumni, and parents during difficult times.

TreeHouse is a safe place to be real about the pain in their lives that is causing them to think and act out in destructive ways. TreeHouse is a place to have fun, meet friends, discover faith, overcome pain, serve others, and be empowered to succeed.

TreeHouse alumni often tell me that they wish that they had relationships as adults like the ones that they had at TreeHouse.

This week we’re examining painful dating. Tuesday’s For Crying Out Loud included grief, loss, and the healing benefits of tears. Wednesday included helpful hints for dealing with being dumped.

Blunders

“Last night — at a party — a guy I’ve had a huge crush on told my best friend that he liked me too. This morning I sent him a text message telling him how excited I was. Before he replied I caught up to my best friend. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I dreamed it all, EXCEPT for the embarrassing text I really sent my crush.“

Last night we watched an episode of the television show Big Bang Theory. Leonard professed his love to his girlfriend Penny. Taken off guard, the slow to trust, Penny didn’t reciprocate. One thing led to another and Leonard got dumped.

Later lonely-Leonard hung out with his friend Raj. Raj, like Leonard, was feeling lonely for love. Here was their exchange:

Author and speaker Phil Callaway took an oath of honesty for one year, and wrote about what he discovered.

“To Be Perfectly Honest” is formatted as a year-long diary, with 365 entries chronicling the author’s year of trying to tell the truth.

I found “To Be Perfectly Honest” to be very good at exposing weaknesses in our lives; in MY life.

Though I was taught better, I grew up an insecure liar. As an adult I am committed to telling the truth, but I am amazed how often “little white lies” creep out unexpectedly when talking to a stranger in the phone who is not giving me the customer service I think I want and deserve.

While driving through the mountains of Colorado more than once I felt afraid. While there are times when fear is unwarranted, trying to drive along a road, without guardrails, with blind curves which with almost 180-degree turns, I felt the discomfort — my fear — was justified.

Some fears are justified, some not. Sometimes we’re blinded by fear. 1

Blinded By Fear

Robert McGee has identified nine reactions — what I’m calling blind spots — people have when encumbered by a fear of failure.