BJ Shea

BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 10/03/13 "All Taxation, No Representation"

by BJ Shea,posted Oct 3 2013 7:25AM

The New American Morning:

Wake up
Shuffle into kitchen
Consider a big classic breakfast (egg whites, turkey bacon, acai fruit bites, almond milk)
Eat a bagel (with the smallest amount of peanut butter known to man) instead
Head to the bathroom
Remember that WE DON’T CURRENTLY HAVE A GOVERNMENT
Die from heart attack on toilet

(If you’re lucky, maybe your spirit is still floating around long enough to see your family’s reaction when the doctor says the cause of death was that damn peanut butter. You certainly didn’t die of Shock and Awe…because that’s ridiculous, right?)

This is my greatest fear, America. I realize I’m the magic voice that comes out of your radio, but at the end of the day, I’m just an average guy who doesn’t know if he’s smart enough to comprehend his own nation’s leadership.

The national parks are closed. Federal employees are on furlough. There’s no one to collect our taxes—

What’s that? There IS someone to collect our taxes? We’re still expected to pay? Hang on a second: I remember seeing some kind of document – I think it was on Pinterest, or maybe it was Facebook – that mentioned “no taxation without representation.”

Our “representation” isn’t doing much representing at all right now, America.

I can’t believe I’m bringing up Boston Justice for the second time in as many days, but it’s hard to avoid falling into that mindset right now. The original Tea Party took place in Boston, and was an act of revolution; maybe it’s time to bring that kind of protest back into style.

This time, though…let’s keep the tea for drinking, and toss the party into Boston Harbor. It’s the same revolutionary spirit. We’ll just be dunking a different kind of bag.