Tag Archives: children

Oh, great. Here comes my nephew, Mikie. He is playing at the other end of the school gym. [The kid’s always surrounded by an entourage. Totally popular. Clearly, we are not related.] “Is she your grandmother?” Nosey Kid asks Mikie as he skips in my direction. So, let’s be clear: “She” is “me.” ME?! [Really? […]

Shh… I’m at work. Don’t tell anyone I am reading a blog by some dude crushing on his penis. [Gotta love the interwebs, baby!] I don’t want penises anywhere near my body. But if you wanna write about your man parts or just get naked… I’m in. All the way in. Now, hold all of […]

“Did you know there is a bug in your back window? Don’t you ever clean your car?” my nephew, Mikie, proclaimed from the back seat of my 2000 Toyota Corolla. “I don’t know anything about the back seat. I never sit back there,” I said. [So take that, kid! ] Question: Is there some reason […]

“So, what’s going on?” my neighbor said to my 8-year-old nephew as we walked up my driveway. [Look, Lady. Stop talking to the kid. I never know what the hell he’s going to say.] Here is the situation: My neighbors clean up dead things in my yard, shovel all of my snow for free, and […]

It’s official. My vagina is an underachiever. I mean I kinda knew that already – with the cobwebs and all. But now, I have test results to prove it to my um… cats – who give less of a shit than I do. But still… In true geek fashion, I just love getting an A […]

I am pretty sure the purpose of my last grad school class is to… Make sure I am totally dead. Apparently, all of the other classes were just a dry run. I looked at the syllabus over the Christmas break – saw that it was double the work in the same amount of time – […]

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