“I was downstairs early in the morning making coffee and I thought she was still asleep upstairs,” Charlie told the audience at his show in Vancouver last night (via E! News). “And I heard a f***ing gunshot go off. I thought, ‘She did it, she finally f***ing did it. She killed herself and they’re going to f***ing blame me.’ ”

“So I abandoned the coffee, because a gunshot in the morning will wake you up better than a nice cup of coffee,” he said jokingly.

“I come around the corner and there’s naked Kelly Preston at the top of the stairs, holding her wrist, staring at me, covered in blood… and I thought, that’s pretty f***ing hot,” Charlie shared, adding, “I didn’t, I didn’t.”

After he helped Kelly try to stop the bleeding, Charlie asked her what happened.

“She explained to me when she lifted my pants off the scale in the bathroom… the tiny revolver I used to carry… it fell out of the back jeans pocket and hit the floor and shot a bullet right between her legs,” he explained. “So she got hit with shrapnel from the toilet bowl.”

“The oddest moment… when I picked up the phone, I looked at the phone, completely perplexed, and I didn’t know whether to call 911 or 411,” Charlie said. “But for years people thought there was always this conversation, this discussion about the time I tried to kill Kelly Preston.”