Correct Forms of Address

I provide the following summary charts for your convenience, with three
important caveats:

1. Please do not use this page in a vacuum. Most of the usages
listed here are explained in greater detail elsewhere in these pages, which is why I have
resisted including charts at all until now. These charts are for convenience and
reference.

2. Most of the information on this page comes directly from the 1932
edition of Black's Correct Form.
Books like this which purport to demonstrate "correct forms of address" are
aimed at a specific audience: commoners, i.e., those of us who were not
raised "in the system" and haven't married into it. Usage among families
and social equals could vary considerably from what is presented here, for all I know.
Furthermore, I'm not even certain that period letters and memoirs help, because
there could be different forms for (even informal) writing and in speech, and forms of
course further vary in correspondence depending upon the recipient. Until a peer's
daughter joins the Heyer Mailing List and tells me what's what, I welcome corrections on
anything on this page from anyone in a position to know better, especially from first-hand
experience.

3. These charts assume for illustrative purposes that eldest sons of peers
bear a courtesy title only one degree lower than their father's, but that is not always
the case.

Specific Usages

1. First Names

First names were almost never used in speech, except in extremely limited
circumstances, before this century. I have studied memoirs and letters of the late
18th/early 19th centuries and have formed a tentative hypothesis that use of first names
was resticted almost exclusively to children growing up together, or in some cases boys at
school together. They would continue to use their childhood forms of address
throughout their lives. Parents might also ignore titles when addressing their
children, but very often if there was a title available, say an eldest son's courtesy
title, even a mother would use it, albeit alone, e.g., Hartington. In Lady
Harriet Cavendish's letters to her family, she always refers to her brother, the Marquis
of Hartington, as "Hart" or "Hartington," as did their mother.
She calls her cousin, Lady Caroline Ponsonby, "Caro" or "Caroline," as
she likewise called her half-sister, Caroline de St. Jules. She also calls many of
the Lambs by their first names. They were all raised together. (Both Carolines
married Lambs, and so after their marriages Lady Harriet would distinguish between them as
"Caro-William" and "Caro-George," respectively.) But Lady
Harriet never refers to anyone outside this close circle of people she knew from infancy
by their Christian names; she always uses their correct titles. (However,
these references are in written correspondence, and may or may not reflect the terms used
in actual speech.)

Among men, rather than first names, intimacy was usually shown by using
the title alone, e.g., Sherringham, Wrotham (or some diminutive of it, like
"Sherry" or "Hart"), or by using the last name alone, e.g.,
Fairfax. Occasionally first names were used among very close friends who, as
mentioned above, attended boarding school together from a young age, especially if the boy
didn't have the peerage while he was in school, but inherited it later (which is why Lord
Wrotham's friends call him "George," while they call Lord Sherringham
"Sherry": Sherry had already inherited his peerage when he met them all in
school, while George inherited his after they had all grown up).

Even spouses often maintained more formal modes of address than Christian
names, even in private. Most often a lady would call her husband by his title alone,
as his intimate friends or his family would, e.g., Chatham. Obviously it
would depend upon the couple, and many factors might contribute, such as age disparity or
actual intimacy, but a wife would almost always refer to her husband this way, even to her
closest friends and relations, and in company they would call each other "my
lord" and "my lady," or perhaps some diminutive like "my dear" or
"my love." It is hard to identify sources to back up this hypothesis,
since primary sources from earlier centuries generally do not include transcripts of
conversations, but I really believe that a much more formal level of discourse was
maintained than what is portrayed in romance novels.

2. "Social" vs. "Formal" Correspondence

I am not certain exactly what the difference is between "social"
and "formal" correspondence. Presumably "formal" correspondence
is any address made to a peer in his capacity as a member of the government or of the
House of Lords, or as a landlord or capitalist. Presumably "social"
correspondence includes invitations to social events and letters between friends.
But what if a friend or fellow peer writes on a political subject? Which rule
prevails? What about when writing socially to a family connection one has not met
(for example, Miss Taverner writing to Lord Worth, or Mr. Collins writing to Mr. Bennet)?
Is there ever a social event that is considered so "formal" that it
requires addressing the invitations in a "formal" manner, and announcing
arrivals "formally"-- Royal Drawing Rooms and coronations come to mind.
What about invitations to an evening at Prinny's Brighton Pavilion or at Carlton
House? Were other social events, such as balls and assemblies, considered in terms
of address more formal than routs or Venetian breakfasts or morning calls? In other
words, is there a difference in the way a servant would announce a morning caller vs. how
the same servant would announce the same person at a ball? And when, before this
century, did a peeress ever receive "formal" correspondence?

3. Use of "The Honourable"

"The Honourable" is a title which applies to younger sons of
earls and all children of viscounts and barons (and the wives of those sons).
However, it is used only on envelopes, and is never spoken, even by a servant, or
used in the salutation of a letter. It is not even included on calling cards.
(A person is announced by servants according to the name on his calling card.) Thus
it is impossible to know, merely upon introduction, that a person ranks as an Honourable.
Black says that "[w]hen it is desired to indicate it, however, a reference to
the holder's parentage would be permissible."

4. Use of "The"

"The" is a designation only used for peers and their
families. It is not used, for example, by baronets, knights, or commoners (except
when referring to the widow of a baronet). The wife of a baronet or knight would be
Lady Burke, and never The Lady Burke, while the wife of a peer would be The Lady
Melgum, and a peer's daughter who is entitlted to use the "Lady" designation
would be The Lady Serena Carlow. However, when the usage is not formal,
"The" may be dropped. (I am not absolutely certain whether this
"The" usage is appropriate for the eldest sons (heirs) and their wives and
children, but I think it is, since courtesy titles are supposed to be used exactly as if
they held the title by right.)

5. Use of "Miss," "Mr." and "Mrs."
With and Without Christian Names

When "Miss" is used alone with a surname, it refers to the
eldest unmarried daughter. Other daughters must be distinguished by using their
Christian names. For example, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Miss Mary Bennet,
Miss Catherine Bennet, Miss Lydia Bennet. Or, collectively, the Misses Bennet.
In conversation, where none of her sisters are present, a younger sister may be
addressed as Miss Bennet. If Jane and Lizzie are standing together, however, they
are addressed as Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth.

When "Mr." is used alone with a surname, it refers to the eldest
son (of a Viscount, baron, or commoner). His younger brothers are distinguished from
him in speech by using their Christian names, similarly to the use of "Miss."
Their wives adopt precisely the same usage, only with "Mrs." instead of
"Mr." Mr. Plowden is the eldest son, and Mrs. Plowden is his wife;
Mr. Thomas Plowden is a younger son, and Mrs. Thomas Plowden is his wife.

6. Use of "Miss," "Mr." and "Mrs." With
"The Honourable"

In writing, "Mr." and "Miss" are never used in
conjunction with "The Honourable." The address on the envelope to the
eldest Mr. Plowden would be "To The Honble. James Plowden." An envelope to
his wife would be "To The Honble. Mrs. Plowden." Her husband's Christian
name is left out, to denote that he is the eldest; and unlike "Mr." and
"Miss," using "Mrs." in conjunction with "The Honourable" is
correct. But this couple would be announced as "Mr. Plowden" and
"Mrs. Plowden" (separately), or "Mr. and Mrs. Plowden" (together).

"The Bath paper one morning announced the arrival of the Dowager
Viscountess Dalrymple, and her daughter, the Honourable Miss Carteret. . . "

and, a little later:

"they had the cards of Dowager Viscountess Dalrymple, and the Hon.
Miss Carteret, to be arranged wherever they might be most visible; and 'Our cousins
in Laura-place,' -- 'Our cousins, Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret,' were talked of to
everybody."

(Vol. II, Chapter iv)

So it is not clear when this rule about never using "Miss" with
"The Hon." evolved. Or perhaps the rule only applies to addressing
envelopes, and not to newsprint. But Black clearly states that the rule applies to
calling cards.

7. Titles in Speech

In speech, with a few rare exceptions for extremely formal occasions, all
ranks below duke are called "Lord" and "Lady" in speech, and never
their titles. For example, "Lord and Lady Withington" rather than
"The Earl and Countess of Withington." The titles would never be used in
intimate speech, even when referring to them.

Dukes

The rule is that a social inferior addresses him as "Your Grace"
and a social equal as "Duke." I have not been able to discover where
precisely the line is drawn to distinguish social inferiors from equals. Obviously
it is not drawn at the dukes themselves. My tentative hypothesis is that a
"social equal" is anyone who is a peer or a member of a peer's family. A
lower line might be drawn at baronets, knights, or gentlemen, but I think that the
connotation of the word "peer" lends itself to drawing the line at barons.
So Miss Anne Elliot would address a duke as "Your Grace," while her cousin, Miss
Carteret, would call him "Duke."

Also, the salutation of formal correspondence to a duke is "My Lord
Duke." But he is never called "my lord."

This is example is the Duke of Glastonbury, who holds the secondary title
Marquess of Tenwhestle, and whose family surname of Drake.

Person

announced formally or addressed on formal corres- pondence as

salutation on formal corres- pondence

announced informally or addressed on social corres- pondence as

salutation on social correspondence

addressed in speech as

referred to in speech as

signature on social corres- pondence

Duke

His Grace the Duke of Glastonbury, K. G.

"My Lord Duke,"

His Grace The Duke of Glastonbury, K. G.

"Dear Duke of Glastonbury," (or, more familiarly,
"Dear Duke,")

"Your Grace" (by inferiors) or "Duke" (by social
equals) the first time in conversation, followed by "Sir" (or
"Glastonbury," if addressed by a very close friend or relative).

"His Grace" (by inferiors), or "The Duke" (by social
equals)

Glastonbury

Duke's wife

Her Grace The Duchess of Glastonbury

"Madam,"

Her Grace The Duchess of Glastonbury

"Dear Duchess of Glastonbury," (or, more familiarly,
"Dear Duchess,")

"Your Grace" (by inferiors) or "Duchess" (by social
equals) the first time in conversation, followed by "Madam" or
"Ma'am."

"Her Grace" (by inferiors), or "The Duchess" (by
social equals)

Georgiana Glastonbury

Duke's mother

Her Grace The Dowager Duchess of Glastonbury or Her Grace Sarah,
The Duchess of Glastonbury

"Madam,"

Her Grace The Dowager Duchess of Glastonbury or Her Grace Sarah,
The Duchess of Glastonbury

"Dear Duchess of Glastonbury," (or, more familiarly,
"Dear Duchess,")

"Your Grace" (by inferiors) or "Duchess" (by social
equals) the first time in conversation, followed by "Madam" or
"Ma'am."

Her Grace (by inferiors), or The Duchess, or The Dowager Duchess,
or The Duchess Sarah (by social equals)

Sarah Glastonbury

Duke's eldest son

The Most Honble. The Marquess of Tenwhestle

"My Lord Marquess," or "My Lord,"

The Marquess of Tenwhestle

"Dear Lord Tenwhestle," (or, more familiarly, "Dear
Tenwhestle,")

"Lord Tenwhestle" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lord" (or, more familiarly, "Tenwhestle").

(The) Lord Tenwhestle (or, more familiarly,
"Tenwhestle").

Tenwhestle

Wife of Duke's eldest son

The Most Honble. The Marchioness of Tenwhestle

"Madam,"

The Marchioness of Tenwhestle

"Dear Lady Tenwhestle,"

"Lady Tenwhestle" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lady."

Lady Peregrine (a very close friend or relative might address her
by her Christian name)

(The) Lady Peregrine (Drake)

Charlotte Drake

Married Daughters of Dukes

When a daughter of a duke marries a peer or the heir to a duke or
marquess, she takes the title of her husband (even though her precedence is above
his). But when she marries a commoner, a baronet, or the heir to an earl, viscount,
or baron, she may, if she chooses, retain her "Lady <Firstname>"
title. If she is married to an heir to a peerage, she may only keep this form until
her husband inherits his peerage, at which time she loses her own precedence and acquires
that of her husband, even if it means she will move down several slots on the Table of
Precedence. Note that even if she marries the younger son of a duke, she retains her
own precedence, because daughters of dukes rank one degree higher than younger sons of
dukes, and one degree lower than eldest sons of dukes (a ranking which is preserved in the
lesser ranks of the peerage as well).

Marriage with:

His formal title

Her title (announced formally or addressed in formal
correspondence)

Her title (announced informally or addressed in social
correspondence)

Her title (addressed or referred to in speech)

Eldest son of duke

The Most Honble. The Marquess of Ware

The Most Honble. The Marchioness of Ware

The Marchioness of Ware

Lady Ware

Eldest son of marquess

The Right Honble. The Earl of Perrin

The Right Honble. The Countess of Perrin

The Countess of Perrin

Lady Perrin

Younger son of duke

The Lord George Markham

The Lady Clementina Markham

The Lady Clementina Markham

Lady Clementina (Markham)

Younger son of marquess

The Lord John Pitt

The Lady Clementina Pitt

The Lady Clementina Pitt

Lady Clementina (Pitt)

Eldest son of earl

The Right Honble. The Viscount Yardley

The Right Honble. The Viscountess Yardley or The Lady Clementina
Yardley

The Viscountess Yardley or The Lady Clementina Yardley

Lady Yardley or Lady Clementina (Yardley)

Younger son of earl

The Honble. Christopher Fancot

The Lady Clementina Fancot

The Lady Clementina Fancot

Lady Clementina (Fancot)

Son of viscount

The Honble. Charles Rivenhall

The Lady Clementina Rivenhall

The Lady Clementina Rivenhall

Lady Clementina (Rivenhall)

Son of baron

The Honble. Thomas Blakeney

The Lady Clementina Blakeney

The Lady Clementina Blakeney

Lady Clementina (Blakeney)

Knight or baronet

Sir Waldo Hawkridge

The Lady Clementina Hawkridge

The Lady Clementina Hawkridge

Lady Clementina (Hawkridge)

Commoner

Mr. John Caldwell

The Lady Clementina Caldwell

The Lady Clementina Caldwell

Lady Clementina (Caldwell)

Marquesses

The Marquess of Mallen holds a subsidiary title, the Earl of Dunlop, and
the family name is Weston.

Person

announced formally or addressed on formal corres- pondence as

salutation on formal corres- pondence

announced informally or addressed on social corres- pondence as

salutation on social correspondence

addressed in speech as

referred to in speech as

signature on social corres- pondence

Marquess

The Most Honble. The Marquess of Mallen

"My Lord Marquess," or "My Lord,"

The Marquess of Mallen

"Dear Lord Mallen," (or, more familiarly, "Dear
Mallen,")

"Lord Mallen" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lord" (or, more familiarly, "Mallen").

(The) Lord Mallen (or, more familiarly, "Mallen").

Mallen

Marquess's wife

The Most Honble. The Marchioness of Mallen

"Madam,"

The Marchioness of Mallen

"Dear Lady Mallen,"

"Lady Mallen" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lady."

(The) Lady Mallen (or, more familiarly, "Elizabeth
Mallen").

Elizabeth Mallen

Marquess's mother

The Most Honble. The Dowager Marchioness of Mallen, or The Most Honble.
Frances, The Marchioness of Mallen

"Madam,"

The Dowager Marchioness of Mallen; or Frances, The Marchioness of Mallen;
or (archaic) Marchioness Dowager Mallen

Lord Trevor (or Trevor or Weston, if addressed by a very close
friend or relative)

(The) Lord Trevor (Weston)

Trevor Weston, or Weston

Wife of Marquess's younger son

The Lady Trevor Weston

"My Lady," or "Madam,"

The Lady Trevor Weston

"Dear Lady Trevor Weston," (or, more familiarly,
"Dear Lady Trevor,")

Lady Trevor (a very close friend or relative might address her by
her Christian name)

(The) Lady Trevor (Weston)

Charlotte Weston

Married Daughters of Marquesses

When a daughter of a marquess marries a peer or the heir to a duke or
marquess, she takes the title of her husband (even though her precedence is above
his). But when she marries a commoner, a baronet, or the heir to an earl, viscount
or baron, she may, if she chooses, retain her "Lady <Firstname>"
title. If she is married to an heir to a peerage, she may only keep this form until
her husband inherits his peerage, at which time she loses her own precedence and acquires
that of her husband, even if it means she will move down several slots on the Table of
Precedence. Note that even if she marries the younger son of a marquess, she retains
her own precedence, because daughters of marquesses rank one degree higher than younger
sons of marquesses, and one degree lower than eldest sons of marquesses (a ranking which
is preserved in the lesser ranks of the peerage as well).

Marriage with:

His formal title

Her title (announced formally or addressed in formal
correspondence)

Her title (announced informally or addressed in social
correspondence)

Her title (addressed or referred to in speech)

Eldest son of duke

The Most Honble. The Marquess of Ware

The Most Honble. The Marchioness of Ware

The Marchioness of Ware

Lady Ware

Eldest son of marquess

The Right Honble. The Earl of Perrin

The Right Honble. The Countess of Perrin

The Countess of Perrin

Lady Perrin

Younger son of duke

The Lord George Markham

The Lady Harriet Markham or Lady George Markham

The Lady Harriet Markham or Lady George Markham

Lady Harriet (Markham) or Lady George (Markham)

Younger son of marquess

The Lord John Pitt

The Lady Harriet Pitt

The Lady Harriet Pitt

Lady Harriet (Pitt)

Eldest son of earl

The Right Honble. The Viscount Yardley

The Right Honble. The Viscountess Yardley

The Viscountess Yardley

Lady Yardley

Younger son of earl

The Honble. Christopher Fancot

The Lady Harriet Fancot

The Lady Harriet Fancot

Lady Harriet (Fancot)

Son of viscount

The Honble. Charles Rivenhall

The Lady Harriet Rivenhall

The Lady Harriet Rivenhall

Lady Harriet (Rivenhall)

Son of baron

The Honble. Thomas Blakeney

The Lady Harriet Blakeney

The Lady Harriet Blakeney

Lady Harriet (Blakeney)

Knight or baronet

Sir Waldo Hawkridge

The Lady Harriet Hawkridge

The Lady Harriet Hawkridge

Lady Harriet (Hawkridge)

Commoner

Mr. John Caldwell

The Lady Harriet Caldwell

The Lady Harriet Caldwell

Lady Harriet (Caldwell)

Earls

Here we have the Earl of Withington, who is also Viscount Munthorpe, and
a family name of Grisham.

Person

announced formally or addressed on formal corres- pondence as

salutation on formal corres- pondence

announced informally or addressed on social corres- pondence as

salutation on social correspondence

addressed in speech as

referred to in speech as

signature on social corres- pondence

Earl

The Right Honble. The Earl of Withington

"My Lord,"

The Earl of Withington

"Dear Lord Withington," (or, more familiarly, "Dear
Withington,")

"Lord Withington" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lord" (or, more familiarly, "Withington").

(The) Lord Withington (or, more familiarly,
"Withington").

Withington

Earl's wife

The Right Honble. The Countess of Withington

"Madam,"

The Right Honble. The Countess of Withington

"Dear Lady Withington,"

"Lady Withington" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lady."

(The) Lady Withington (or, more familiarly, "Ancilla
Withington").

Ancilla Withington

Earl's mother

The Most Honble. The Dowager Countess of Withington, or The Most Honble.
Helen, The Countess of Withington

"Madam,"

The Dowager Countess of Withington; or Helen, The Countess of Withington;
or (archaic) Countess Dowager Withington

"Dear Lady Withington,"

"Lady Withington" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lady."

Mrs. Bertram Grisham, or Mrs. Grisham (a very close friend or
relative might address her by her Christian name)

Mrs. Bertram Grisham, or Mrs. Grisham

Judith Grisham

Married Daughters of Earls

When a daughter of an earl marries a peer or the heir to a duke or
marquess, she takes the title of her husband (even though her precedence is above
his). But when she marries a commoner, a baronet, or the heir to a viscount or
baron, she may, if she chooses, retain her "Lady <Firstname>"
title. If she is married to an heir to a peerage, she may only keep this form until
her husband inherits his peerage, at which time she loses her own precedence and acquires
that of her husband, even if it means she will move down several slots on the Table of
Precedence. Note that even if she marries the younger son of an earl, she retains
her own precedence, because daughters of earls rank one degree higher than younger sons of
earls, and one degree lower than eldest sons of marquesses (a ranking which is preserved
in the lesser ranks of the peerage as well).

Marriage with:

His formal title

Her title (announced formally or addressed in formal
correspondence)

Her title (announced informally or addressed in social
correspondence)

Her title (addressed or referred to in speech)

Eldest son of duke

The Most Honble. The Marquess of Ware

The Most Honble. The Marchioness of Ware

The Marchioness of Ware

Lady Ware

Eldest son of marquess

The Right Honble. The Earl of Perrin

The Right Honble. The Countess of Perrin

The Countess of Perrin

Lady Perrin

Younger son of duke

The Lord George Markham

The Lady George Markham

The Lady George Markham

Lady George (Markham)

Younger son of marquess

The Lord John Pitt

The Lady John Pitt

The Lady John Pitt

Lady John (Pitt)

Eldest son of earl

The Right Honble. The Viscount Yardley

The Right Honble. The Viscountess Yardley

The Viscountess Yardley

Lady Yardley

Younger son of earl

The Honble. Christopher Fancot

The Lady Margaret Fancot

The Lady Margaret Fancot

Lady Margaret (Fancot)

Son of viscount

The Honble. Charles Rivenhall

The Honble. Mrs. Charles Rivenhall or The Lady Margaret Rivenhall

The Honble. Mrs. Charles Rivenhall or The Lady Margaret Rivenhall

The Honble. Mrs. Charles Rivenhall or The Lady Margaret
(Rivenhall)

Son of baron

The Honble. Thomas Blakeney

The Lady Margaret Blakeney

The Lady Margaret Blakeney

Lady Margaret (Blakeney)

Knight or baronet

Sir Waldo Hawkridge

The Lady Margaret Hawkridge

The Lady Margaret Hawkridge

Lady Margaret (Hawkridge)

Commoner

Mr. John Caldwell

The Lady Margaret Caldwell

The Lady Margaret Caldwell

Lady Margaret (Caldwell)

Viscounts

Viscount Newton and Baron Sunderley, surname Pratt.

Person

announced formally or addressed on formal corres- pondence as

salutation on formal corres- pondence

announced informally or addressed on social corres- pondence as

salutation on social correspondence

addressed in speech as

referred to in speech as

signature on social corres- pondence

Viscount

The Right Honble. The Viscount Newton

"My Lord,"

The Viscount Newton

"Dear Lord Newton," (or, more familiarly, "Dear
Newton,")

"Lord Newton" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lord" (or, more familiarly, "Newton").

(The) Lord Newton (or, more familiarly, "Newton").

Newton

Viscount's wife

The Right Honble. The Viscountess Newton

"Madam,"

The Right Honble. The Viscountess of Newton

"Dear Lady Newton,"

"Lady Newton" the first time in conversation, followed by
"my lady."

(The) Lady Newton (or, more familiarly, "Sophia
Newton").

Sophia Newton

Viscount's mother

The Right Honble. The Dowager Viscountess Newton, or The Right
Honble. Isabella, The Viscountess Newton

Married Daughters of Baronets

Since she has no distinctions of her own, she takes the rank of her
husband.

If a younger son of an earl, viscount, or baron is given a baronetcy, then
he is allowed to keep his "Honorable" designation in addition to his new
"Sir" dignity for the addressing of envelopes, e.g., The Honble. Sir
William Lucas, Bt., and The Honble. Lady Lucas. But since the title
"Honorable" is never used in speech or even on calling cards, the forms of
announcing and addressing in speech remain the same as for an ordinary baronet.

If you dispute a fact from these pages, pleasecontact me, and if you can, provide a contradicting source.
These pages are a work in progress and I expect them to change in the future, although
what I present today is as accurate as I can make it.