I returned yesterday from my Welbeck RCB, and although it didn't go great I must admit it was amusing at least! 1715 hours, we were all lined up outside the mess, looking like young ladies and gentleman in our blazers, suits and dresses, nervously aniticipating what was to come. It was our interviews, one with a Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel, and another with some Education Officer I believe? Anyway, we walked down towards one of the buildings and were all sitting waiting to be called up, when "45" was shouted from down the hall, so up gets Number. 45 and walks down the hall to his interview, nothing more was thought of it. He returned 15 minutes later, shaking, palms sweating, with a face as bright as could be. The two Colonels, he informed us, had asked him as part of the current affairs questions; "What would I be talking about if I said.....Condolisa Rice" (I believe that is her name?) 45 though, interpreted this as "Condolisa Race" and replied "Horse Racing"!! I must admit, although the RCB didn't go great, this was definately the highlight!

The funniest thing on my (first) RCB was a copy of Punch. The caption competition showed old cartoons from long ago editions and the current one was a general crawling around his office floor in a rage while a very prissy secretary looked in...some wag had scrawled on it "It's okay General, candidate 45 has left now".

Back in the 1970s it was said that one candidate, having failed miserably to get his group over a "gaping chasm with hungry crocs in the river below", lined up the group, and led them over said "chasm" whilst rotating arms above head.

When asked what he was doing, he replied - "Helicoptering them across, of course!".

Incredulous observer then asked, "And where exactly did you get the helicopter from?!" To which he replied - "Same place you got the crocs, Sir!"

Rumour had it he passed with flying colours.

Probably apocryphal, but I've always liked the story, and it has a certain ring of authenticity to it - could have happened.

DS. So, 45, your plan involves leaving the african tracker, african medic and african driver behind to their deaths; how do you justify this?
45. Well Sir (rather posh voice), partially to fit more medical supplies in, as I can drive. Also, I couldn't possibly take them alone - They're as black as the ace of spades!

Apparently the DS was on the floor. 45 is apparantly finishing the sausage factory and joining the HCav...

Not really amusing but worth mentioning was a candidate who chose to pay no attention to the group plan. Not surprisingly he then got chosen to present it, not a problem for him as he simply presented his own plan. The difficulty of course arose when the remainder of the syndicate get ripped apart being questioned about a plan of which they had no knowledge! He passed

Not really amusing but worth mentioning was a candidate who chose to pay no attention to the group plan. Not surprisingly he then got chosen to present it, not a problem for him as he simply presented his own plan. The difficulty of course arose when the remainder of the syndicate get ripped apart being questioned about a plan of which they had no knowledge! He passed

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I'll tell you what's funny...this throbber will rise majestically to Colonel rank and possibly beyond. Meanwhile people like his fellows in this syndicate will fall in his wake, stabbed in the back. Or maybe I'm being a wee bit cynical basing this view only on 23 years service? You tell me...