God! I hate these foodies. They've taken a simple think like eating and tried to make it better. It's just food! What's the difference.

It reminds me of these people that I like to call "sexies". They're always trying to have sex with attractive women, but there's no difference between that and jerking off to the bra section in the Sears catalog. They don't impress me. I've got a Sears catalog. Who needs anything better than that?

I just wrap a steak up in foil, chuck it on the exhaust manifold, drive to work. I let it sit out there all day until I drive home. Once I get home I have a cooked steak. You guys just don't know what the hell you're doing.

FFS. Cut into it when you think it's getting done (no, that won't ruin it, despite what many will tell you; fark thermometers.). Does the color look right to you? Pink, pale red, bright red, whatthefarkever? Take it off the farking grill. Jesus Christ, this isn't rocket surgery, steak lovers.

If you can't pick up a steak with tongs and tell by the flex exactly how done it is, you should probably stick to burgers.

Option 'B': Go to local butcher, get decent cut of quality meat for a reasonable cost, cook over some special but not uncommon coals. Done in 30 minutes. Grade "95"

Option 'C' : Track down some samurai butcher who only kills two cows a year, buy one steak (because thats all i can afford), age it for 60 days in a mini-fridge and a fan that i had to go out and buy , order a $350 sous machine, cook it for 6 hours in there, then get a skillet, a torch, some 'aromatics', dirty and clean sixteen dishes. Done in 61 days minutes. Grade "100"

Yeah, its worth is a bit more and go Option B, but to get that bump up to a 100-point score, well, there are better things to do with your time. The time and effort can be spent just going to a high-end steak house and get them to make you a steak of the quality you are trying to make yourself, and you get it in 20 minutes.

MaxxLarge:It does look awesome, and obviously the science is rock-solid...but I'm sorry. I don't care if it's the single most perfect, orgasmic, indulgently over-the-top piece of meat in the universe - I am NOT spending twelve hours and a few hundred bucks just to cook a goddamned steak.

You'll have to settle for your dog seriously maiming you during a nap, then.