award show

i'm such a loser
i never win anything
except that ticket that i scratched
said i'm a winner
twenty dollars
since then, my life has gone down hill

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where i'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me

and you know
the fix is in

cause i'm on every channel
and i'll make them hate me
while the nominees all try to imitate me
but i'll be such a bastard
say you're so pathetic
go back home - you've got no talent
and they will weep and want to die

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where i'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me

oh thank you, thank you
it's such an honor
i want to stand like this forever
and in just a minute i'd like to thank
all the people who made this happen
and after that i'd like to make a speech
to change the world and make a difference
and all the people who made this happen
they don't matter - i want to thank me!
mother, father, god and country - what did they do?
i want to thank me
i see you sitting there staring at me
powerless to even touch me
your eyes so full of seething hatred
i want to stand like this forever
thank you!
thank you!
thank you!
thank you!

that's why i gotta have
my own award show
where i'm the guest host
and you can't win anything
unless you're me