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Monday, April 11, 2011

o hai...

Okay, so, I am back in the city! I moved into my little apartment... and I MEAN little, I think I only have 160 square feet... last Saturday. I am almost all unpacked. I hate unpacking as much as I hate packing, so, it's taking some time. I have Today and Tuesday off, so, I'll get the rest of it done, then. Hopefully.

I'll give you guys a tour of my tiny little place after it's all set up. And, by tour, I mean that I will stand in the middle of my apartment with my laptop, and spin around with my webcam recording the whole ordeal. It's really quite tiny. I have my own kitchen, though. That's all that matters. I have to share a bathroom with one other girl.

Let's see... what has been going on...

I dyed my hair purple:

You can kiiiind of tell from this picture. It's like a deep plumy purple. I like it, it looks super bright purple in sunlight. Please excuse my giant nose in the photo.

I've come to realize how flippin' ginormous my nose is. Seriously, it takes up that whole photo. How have I never noticed the bulbousity of my nose before? Also, yes, bulbousity, I'm making that a word.

I like to make up my own words, like, barfity. I love to say barfity, people question the legitimacy of this word all of the time. It really is a great all purpose word! How was your day? Barfity. We went skiing! Barfity. I really love Ke$ha! Barfity. What do you think of this paint colour? Barfity.

Ohhh, if only I could tell the customers that I think their colour choices are barfity.

I started work last Wednesday, it's been going really well. I missed the paint department more than I thought I did, and I didn't have to do any terrible training for paints, which is awesome... because home Depot training is TERRIBLE.

Unfortunately, I did have to do SOME training. They're training me as a back-up cashier, which is barfity.

Seriously, I hate dealing with cash. I am so glad I only had to do two days of training for it.

The funny thing about returning is that I realize how much the people I work with actually missed me. There's a lot of new people that I'm getting to know, but a lot of the employees that were there when I left recognize me and are glad to see me back. One of the guys that trained me apparently got so excited, that when we were in the department, he turned to me and sighed and shouted out: "I'm so glad that you're back, it's like having a birthday in April!"

I originally started out at the HD I'm at now, but I had to transfer to another one because of my ex, Rick. Basically, he worked at the same HD as me, and when we would break up, he would pretty much stalk me... he would watch my every move and stare at me. It was really creepy and stressful. And, after I had to call the police on him, it got even more stressful and hard to deal with, so I asked to transfer.

Unfortunately, because of this, there was a mark on my record, saying that I had issues with another employee. The HR manager asked the guys I worked with before about it, I guess, because the note didn't say that it was an issue of a personal nature, and they were considering possibly not hiring me because of it. Luckily, the guys I worked with that it was psycho Rick, and not me, that was the problem.

Anyway, they re-hired me, all is well and good in life.

Other than the cash training, I've really actually been enjoying my time at work. The weirdos are already coming out of the woodworks, though.

Let me just preface this by saying that I have gotten used to the sort of homogeneous fashion sense in Korea. People all pretty much dress very similar there. I forgot that this was not the case in Canada.

I think on my second day back in the city, my sister and I went to the Futureshop by her house to kill some time. As we were walking in, a person came out who had a highly stylized black and hot pink haircut which was kind of cool... but then, a full on Tom Selleck mustache, while wearing a super tight women's yoga jacket, fully equipped with boobs, and super tight yoga pants, fully equipped with man candy. Seriously, I understand being a dude and wanting to be a woman, but, really, choose either the super thick mustache and fully outlined man candy, or the boobs.

Related to this, I was walking out of the LRT station platform to catch my bus to work the other day, and, as I was walking out the doors, I was greeted by an older man, with a ponytail and a baseball cap, wearing a tight women's workout jacket, and skin tight women's capri yoga pants, with no underwear... seriously guys, I could see EVERYTHING. It was AWFUL. It was like two golf balls and a cocktail weenie. Not the best way to start one's day, that's for sure.

I've noticed that, when working cash, customers are more likely to treat you like crap. I had one customer come through my till, and pay with a gift card. After I put it through, he told me I needed to write the remaining balance for him on the card, then he demanded that I do it in Sharpie, which, luckily I had one, then he demanded that I write the letters really huge. All of this would have been fine, if it weren't for his attitude. He had a really effing bad attitude. He was super rude! And, he started going off about how he always has to explain to the cashiers how to do their job, and that he feels like he has to "explain everything really slowly for you people." Eff. that. shit. "You people"?! What the eff is that supposed to mean? I graduated third in my class in high school, and I have a bloody university degree, I taught English overseas for a year, and I'm returning to university for a second degree in September. You people?! Fuck you, buddy, I'm probably smarter than you are.

Thank goodness I only had to do that for two days.

One of my former professors came into my department, looking to refinish his kitchen cabinets. They were stained a darker golden colour, and he wanted to make them lighter, so I was explaining to him how to do it. As much as I recognized him, I could tell that he didn't remember me. I knew this by the fact that he was hitting on me the entire time I was explaining to him how to refinish his cabinets, and by the fact that he asked me what grade I was in. Firstly, if you're going to hit on me while i'm explaining shit to you, at least pay attention to what i'm saying. Secondly, why are you hitting on me if you think I'm still in high school, that is creepy and weird. I spent over half an hour, explaining to him over and over, what he needed to do. The sad thing is, he didn't want to do anything because it involved effort and work, and there was no magical solution to his problem. It's sad when you realize how lazy your professors are. I gave him a bunch of colour samples, and he told me he was going to take them home and look at them, and then, I thought he left.

Not so.

I walked down the aisle later, and saw him standing with his back to me, doing something. I walked over to find out if he needed anymore help, and all I could smell was varnish. He was opening the friggin' cans of varnish with his car keys, sticking paint sticks in them, tossing the paint sticks into the bay, and then putting the opened cans of varnish back on the shelves. I was FURIOUS! That shit is OIL based, it makes a huge ass mess, and if someone hit one of the cans, they could spill it everywhere!

I had to chastise one of my university professors in the middle of the Home Depot.

Seriously.

I never thought they day would come when I would have to do that, like he was an 8 year old.

Oi.

I love when little kids come into the department, because I get to joke around with them, and they get so excited when I show them how to make paint. I let a little boy use the mallet yesterday to put the lid on a can of paint, and he was so excited, and I teach them about primary and secondary colours, and give them stickers, and they give me high fives. Looove it! I love kids, they're so cute, and they get excited about everything so easily! I think the parents like the fact that I keep their kids entertained while they're doing their paint thing, too.

One of my customers yesterday asked me for a deal on a can of paint that he was buying, because it was one of our more expensive lines of paint, so, when he asked me, I yelled out "heck yes you can, you can have a high five!" I then told him it was a good deal, because not everyone gets high fives, so they're very valuable. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I thought it was.

Anywhooodles, that's about all for now. I have high speed, now, so it shall be a lot easier to look at blogs and get caught up and to comment on your guys' comments, again. I missed you all!