Guy #1: There’s just no place to go dancing, you know?Guy #2: You can’t find a dance club in New York?Guy #1: No, it’s just not right –I really like to Lindy.Guy #2: …Guy #1: …Guy #2: Dude. Where the hell do you learn to Lindy?

Tall guy: Maybe I should just move to his pad…Short guy: You can’t live with him, you’ll never get any work done with all the strippers and piles of coke everywhere. He lives too large for me.Tall guy: [long pause] Yeeeaaah!

Girl #1: That guy over there is so attractive… And he has a huge penis. I can tell from his fingers.Girl #2: What?Girl #1: Yeah, you can totally tell what a guy’s penis would look like based on their fingers. That’s how I knew it hurt when you lost your virginity before you even told me…I saw his fingers.

Twentysomething woman #1: When I was younger I thought eyeliner on guys was hot.Twentysomething woman #2: Eew!Twentysomething woman #1: No, no, when I was younger. It’s like an imaginary unicorn. You think it’s so great, but it’s not.Twentysomething woman #2: No way, unicorns are awesome!

Anxious woman, running up to counter: The postal truck is blocking my car! I asked him to move and he wouldn’t! All he has to do is put the truck in reverse!Postal worker lady: He don’t know how to. Obviously.