Alone Again

Summary:"It was only a matter of time--and not much of it--before i showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like."--New Moon, chp. 23 Alternate approach to New moon--What if Alice didn't see Bella jump?

Notes:
Ok, just FYI, this is in Bella's point of view the night after she jumps. Alice didn't see Bella jump, so she doesn't come.... I am curious to see the kind of responses i will get from this...

1. Chapter 1

I laid down beneath the quilt that covered the bed, contemplating Harry Clearwater’s death. It was truly sad, but I only thought about it to prevent my mind from returning to the subject I most dreaded.

Jacob.

After Jacob drove me home, he had gotten an urgent message from Sam saying that they had a lead on Victoria, and he had to go. Hours later, I had gotten a message that destroyed my possible chances of breaking my numbness.

Flashback:

“Bella?” Jacob said into the phone. His husky, familiar voice was wrung with despair and I furrowed my brow.

“What?”

“We got a lead on Victoria. A big one.” He said. Well good for him! But then why did he sound so sad?

“That’s good…right?” I asked.

“Umm…yes…but, Bella…we are following her to Canada. This might take longer then I’d thought.” He said, searching for words. I started. How long?

“Exactly how long is that?” I asked, but it didn’t matter. I was already panicking inside—the ghastly hole in my chest searing at the edges. Any time away from Jacob was too long—he was the only thing that kept the numbness away. Without him, I was in danger of retreating back into my shell.

“It could be weeks…or months, depending on how long it takes.” He said slowly, gauging my reaction. I did my best to keep calm, but I couldn’t completely hide the panicked edge to my voice and I am sure he heard.

“Weeks?” I asked, my voice breaking.

“Uhh…possibly.” He said. “Bella, I have to go. I will call you tomorrow. Goodbye.”

And the line went dead.

End flashback

The tears flowed quickly now, flooding my eyes and spilling over and down my cheeks. How could Jacob do this to me? Even if it was only a couple weeks—Jacob was my sole reason for existence. He was my light, my warmth—the sword that kept the numbness away. I was in serious danger of going back into my shell without him. First E-Edward, I thought, choking on his name,now Jacob?How much more can my heart take before the hole threatens to rip through my chest? I buried my head in the quilt and summoned sleep, wishing more then anything for unconsciousness to claim me. But instead, my mind just brought up pictures of Jacob’s smiling face, followed by Edward’s—a slideshow of heartbreak before my very eyes.

A noise near the window sent my head flying up—but there was nothing there. I did see one thing though—just before it disappeared into the night.