okay, so we all are going to die, but you know what i mean. and before i announce what i am talking about, let me just say, that as suprising and confusing as this may sound, i am actually okay with this so far, and am not bothered or depressed.

now, i have recently found out, that, there si a possibility that i have a brain tumor. not many tests have been run, but they will be in due time. i have regular doctors appointment on the 19th of this month, January, and they will recommend me to a neurologist, where i will "find out" what is wrong with me.

the reason i am going about it like this, is, i went to the ER for migraine that caused me to not even be able to wear clothes without having a body-wide pain. my parents didn't know. i didn't want them to find out this way that i had a brain tumor, my parents have had a lot going on with their own health, and then we just moved for the first time since they've been married, 28 years ago, and i just didn't feel that this was how they should find out. and just in case the ER doctors were wrong, i didn't want them to be led on in this scheme, and then be "disappointed", if you will. anyway, just thought i would let everyone know what is going on with me.

I'm very sorry to hear of your pain. We know that if you should be called upward soon that you would be in bliss.

However, I want to mention that sometimes severe pain can be caused by other things. July of 2007 I was called to give testimony before a panel in Washington D.C. about the abuse I experienced in a boy scout camp when I was 12. I had been tortured and sexually abused at that camp. The abuse included sexual torture. I was told hundreds of times there and with a knife that if I ever "told", he would find me and kill me.

A few days before I was to leave to give this testimony, I developed very severe back pain extending into my legs. I could only walk a few steps. I had to take a wheel chair at the airport. The weird thing is, though, that as soon as the testimony was over I felt a huge sense of relief. The back pain went away and I was able to walk all over and enjoy the beautiful sunny weather there.

My God, such drama for a headache! Alright, so I'm teasing, then..........

In the past I've had the kind of migraine pain that has kept in bed for three to four days at a time - on my back, no food, no drink no pee-pee time. Just groaning agony and even groaning hurt. I can't imagine what you are describing.....

While I cerainly hear what you are saying about not wanting to pull the fire alarm to quickly, I hope you'll reconsider walking this path alone, one more step than you have to. This is indeed a time for reaching out and asking for support.

And on the death & dying, I get that too. I have long sinced stopped sharing with others how my death makes me feel. For reasons that are just too long to into here (and this isn't about me anyway) I've always viewed death as something to welcome and to embrace. Not go chasing after, mind, but something to be greatfull for when it does come-a-knockin'......geez, this is turning into about me again.......

All this to say, Philip, that I'll keep you in my prayers as you traverse what I'm sure must be a time of high anxiety. Please keep us posted of your progress.

Well, my parents do know that I think something is wrong, and long before I even went to the ER, I told them that I just KNEW something was wrong with me, and if I had to guess, I would say a brain tumor.

I have blacked out since I was 12, I shake like I have parkinsons, I have no appetite, I am 21 years old, 6 foot tall, and I weigh 122 lbs. I have NO memory whatsoever, I woke up one morning and couldn't remember everyday common things, like, where I keep my bath towels, how I style my hair(which is a huge one for a prep like myself), and how to play my instruments. I get paralyzing migraines all the time, and I have this pressure, that is sometimes a pain, in the back of my head, in the same spot.

So if I had to guess what is wrong with me, and I had said this before the whole ER bit, I would say a tumor.

I am not scared yet, I don't think I will be until the surgeries. I am scared to death of surgeries! Lol

Thank you all for your care! I really appreciate the support!

Oh! And, joel, my friends all know, I just thought you'd want to know that I'm not alone completely, I am letting people in, just trying not to scare more people than I have to.

well, i had my doctors appointment today and i am being tested for HIV. he said he highly doubts it to be a tumor. my parents finally know something is going on, but they haven't said much, and i don't blame them. i wouldn't know what to say either.

I'm not a doctor and I'm also no uneducated fool. HIV does not cause the kind of crippling pain that you describe earlier. What happens when the screening for HIV comes back negative?

Your doctor doubts it's a tumor? Has he checked??? What did he do, rap on your head to determine whether or not there was a tumor inside?? Well, I doubt that your doctor is a nutbar, but there is no proof of that either!!

Demand to see a specialist and then demand a CATscan.

People are mis-diagnosed every day - don't let yourself be one of them.

he is not for sure, but i did do my own research at home, and out of the 21 symptoms, 17 of them sounds exactly like what i have described to him. if this comes back negative, he said specialist is the next step.

I'm so sorry to hear of all this turmoil in your life right now. Try to take things one day at a time in a case like this. Let the doctors do their examinations and see what the results are. Then you will know what the problem is and what you need to do about it.

I'm a bit shocked that someone has told you that you "might" have a brain tumor. That's quite a bomb to drop on someone before there are any specific test results.

Much love,Larry

_________________________Nobody living can ever stop meAs I go walking my freedom highway.Nobody living can make me turn back:This land was made for you and me.(Woody Guthrie)

well, see, larry, that's the thing. they wouldn't tell me anything because i wouldn't stay for testing, for 2 reasons. 1) my parents didn't even know i was at the ER, and i didn't feel that it would be right to them, to find out their son was at the ER that way, when i live with them and told them i was just going with a friend. 2) i wanted my doctors to do my diagnosing. in the year 2008, that hospital had over 248,000 misdiagnosis'. i saw on the chart as he was walking away, those words.

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