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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Reader Comments (69)

Vacation-mode Joynow needs these cakes a la mode(with red icing bag).

Those who follow such things will be delighted to know that my goal this week is to replace all the fondant babies I've eaten and get them out in the desk candy dish in time for the first day of class. (Now, parse that sentence!)

I love Cake Wrecks and especially the Mistake Cakes... but I confess I've been seeing them a little differently lately. Most of those are supermarket cakes and I'd bet dollars to donuts they're decorated by folks who are just learning English. Not so sure I could do better if I were following instructions in Spanish or Tagalog... which makes laughing at their dumbness a little less comfortable for me. Just my two cents.

Nearly all of my college students are native English speakers and make these kinds of mistakes routinely (and much worse). Additionally, they can be belligerent about being told about them, or about anything. Heck, I sent one student into a blind rage when I told her she can't stand up in the middle of lecture, lift up her shirt, and apply deodorant. If she had chosen to inscribe a cake with her invectives instead of delivering them orally, I bet you they would have been deliciously misspelled.

When I lived and taught in a Spanish-speaking country, I made many hilarious mistakes. My favorite was during an impromptu parent-teacher conference. I wanted to tell the mother that her 9-year-old son was better (major) but instead I said he was a woman (mujer). Talk about priceless facial expressions!

@LA, while I don't doubt that a number of people who are learning English have difficulty with the bizarre spelling and grammar, I have ample evidence that native-born American can mangle the language with the best of them. And that's before any cakes get involved.

@Sharon, that math cake fills me with admiration and hope. I wonder what a wreakreator could do to my checkbook to make the balance look a little better.

"Will Came Back" and so did I.I've been on a week long college tour and it's good to be back here surrounded by cakes that make me feel somewhat intelligent. All of those accomplished, young "Sunday Sweets" types were beginning to get on my nerves.

BTW-The tuition at Franklin and Marshall did cause my husband to make a face very much like that on the second cake...

I can't figure out which one of these wrecks is my favorite.@Haikujoy: on my end we get to deal mostly with the parents. Some of whom enjoy "not understanding" English even when they have been told the same exact thing through three different levels of administrators.

Was going to scold LA for being a troll but see that Haiku Joy & drgns4vr have already taken care of it. Well done, fellow Wreckies! :-)

Now, as to these..."cakes"...every time I think I've seen everything, those Wreckorators prove me wrong. Again.

I am curious about the backstory for Brian/Brain's cake. That is not your typical birthday cake, which leads me to ponder the possibilities: 1. Was it the last cake in the bakery? 2. Was it the 1st cake the last-second purchaser saw? 3. Was it an emergency replacement? 4. Was it the only cake on the "Oops, We Overbaked Rack" & the purchaser is cheap or broke? 5. Purchased as a joke for someone who hates carrot cake? 6. Purchased for someone who loves carrot cake? 7. Wreckorator misspelled Brian's name *and* ignored icing instructions to leave the top level for the icing inscription. (The Wreckorator gets points for neat and orderly writing on a *very* uneven & lumpy surface.) I mean, it's actually possible to read "Happy Birthday Brain" (albeit Brian is misspelled). Kudos for that!

@Haiku Joy:Oh, dear...I don't feel that I COULD parse that sentence, and have it live to tell! It's been years since I've had to parse anything. I DO, however, feel that your sentence would make a lovely salad! (I'll take a nicely conjugated Roquefort with mine, thanks!) =^~.~^=These cakes are all miserable-(!)-with the possible exception of the football one. That one gave me a 10-cent thrill because it looks a little like it's hanging from a ceiling (or the person who took the picture was), and I got a little dizzy. =^e.e^=

Ahhh... back to school. This time of year is so much better than Christmas in my house. Sadly here in my Westerly corner of the world we don't start until after Labor Day.

The 3rd one made me wanna break out in song... Manamanamanamana... (You're welcome!)

The last one is just missing a word. It's actually for all the college professors out there who were hoping they scared their students so badly last year that they wouldn't show up for the first day. "Well, they came back"

@Haiku Joy ~ I so want to be in your class on the first day! It would totally be worth airfare just to sit in as a guest for that one day.

So, so bad. And did that handwriting cake say "Happy Birthday BRAIN"?! Which, I mean, sure, your brain is aging right along with your body, but something tells me Brian is a little confused.

Also, this is the first August in 20 years that I have not gone back to school (please note that I am 24... and let that math sink in a bit). So, to all you students and teachers out there:AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! :P

Aww, I hope I didn't come across as scolding. :-) I was just reminded of some of my favorite funny stories. I'm perfectly up for folks to be kind about mistakes; certainly many people have been kind to me about mine!

Flashing me during lecture to apply deodorant and then *swearing* at me about it, however, is a mistake which I will gladly rehash for forever.

My goodness, Karate, YES! I want the replication, transcription, and translation explanations please. I love learning the sciences, especially biology, but find many concepts difficult. I've tried to understand them in the past but I need it explained at about the 10th grade level.

Go!

(Also, Sabs? Your laugh made me laugh and then choke on a coughdrop. Thanks for endangering my life!)

Great cakes as always. I especially loved the Brain cake. That was a lets just take this cake out of the freezer and slap some toys on it maybe no one will notice the horrible writing on the cake. Or maybe it was test for our brains! Whoever can decipher what it says wins a prize! The flag ccc is just uncalled for...come on people isn't there a picture of the flag somewhere you can check...perhaps the decorator (I use that phrase lightly) was looking in a mirror. Haiku Joy I love your deodorant story....as a mother to teenagers I am not surprised.

As someone who worked as a grocery store cake decorator(I actually frosted and decorated the cakes for both the case and special orders for five years, till I became a sahm) I've seen lots of examples if what happens when either the bakery department is closed for the day or there is no cake decorator on duty, so another employee writes on the cake. One poor guy I worked with couldn't even write legible on paper, nevermind a cake. And sorry, I must defend myself and fellow grocery store cake decorators, we are not all talentless idiots like so many examples I've seen on cake wrecks

#5 Things that ought not to be done to a carrot cake, ever: Exhibit A.

#7 The first candle is wrong. Yeah, that's it. We can't fault people who have to cope with the inconsistencies of American math. Politicians often have trouble with it, and some of them were born here. (ba-DUP-DUP!)

@ Unregistered Commenter katiemack1012: (who wrote:"...we are not all talentless idiots like so many examples I've seen on cake wrecks.")----------Aw, I'm sure that we ALL know that there are perfectly lovely cakes out there, and some VERY talented decorators! Yes, even in "chain" stores. I've seen plenty of them! It's the ridiculous and crazy ones that we come HERE for. Some days, the only thing that makes any sense at all is a good laugh, or a good cry. We know we can get one of those here. (Guess which one?) =^~.-^=

At least it's time to go back to school... because some people really need it.

Cake #5 - Yeah, "happy birthday", brain! How old are you? I'll take a guess... 3 (Years or months?)

Cake #7 - That one is still salvageable. Just add "x3" to it. Or... order two more cakes. I know I would.

Cake #9 - It could also have been "A winner is you"!

Cake #10 - WHAT is that sh- ahem, stuff? Is it a golf tee? A cream cone (uh)? A CONDOM? Well, it cannot possibly be a baseball bat. And most definitely CANNOT be the other thing. (Who would even think that?)

Cake #11 - The message is right. It says "Well came back". Of course it means someone named Well was out, but has finally come home. WELCOME BACK, Well XD!

@ drgns4vr: You wondered:"I wonder what a wreakreator could do to my checkbook to make the balance look a little better."I'm not a wreckorator, but here's a suggestion: Alcohol. And plenty of it. (Hey, you didn't say "fix it." You said make it "look better.")=^-.-^=

@katimack1012: Oh, we know. There are plenty of grocery store cakes that are adorable. In fact, my local chain is very competent (darn it!) and I have been mostly unsuccessful in trying to be an official wreckporter.