The Dance Belt Campaign Trail

May 30, 2016

BY MAGGIE STACK AND EMMALY WIEDERHOLT

It’s an election year, and political divisions run deep. Gun control, income inequality, immigration, foreign policy…what really matters to voters? It can be hard to know amidst all the media hype, but Stance on Dance has gone straight to the root of what this election is about: dance belts. Yep, underneath those dull suits are the real personalities.

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Let’s start with the Republican field. The primaries began with 12 candidates, but by the middle of March had dwindled to three: Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Donald Trump.

Ted Cruz is a tea-party Christian, which is clearly reflected in his Jesus-studded belt.

John Kasich is an old-school, red-tie Republican who applies his approach to politics straight to his belt.

Donald Trump is a rich businessman, and his belt reflects his megalomaniac values.

Based on their belts, it shouldn’t come as any surprise why Trump’s flashy belt has made him the presumptive nominee.

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On the democratic side, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders have been vying for liberal hearts and minds.

Bernie Sanders stands for the every-man, and his belt reflects his proletarian values.

Hillary Clinton is a divisive and decisive true blue dem, playing the game with the best of them.

Or is she? Her willingness to stuff a sock and still wear lace shows why she’s the frontrunner of her party.

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Voters, choose wisely. Are we sticking with the good ol’ belt establishment, or letting a lady take the lead?