A blog for parents dealing with a mentally ill child - from a mother struggling to help her son who is bipolar and possibly schizophrenic, as well as trying to heal after her son's attempted suicide

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Dailies #17

Wow, what can I say - sorry again that it has been so long. Not long after my last post - April 13th to be exact - a Friday 13th, Blaine called me agitated and sounding rather desperate. He said he was on his way home. I could tell by his voice that he had been drinking and I tried to persuade him to go back to his apartment, but to no avail. He insisted he was coming home. I spent the night in anxious anticipation of what I would face when he arrived, and then worry and fear when he didn't arrive. By mid morning I knew that something was wrong. After calling around I finally found him in jail. He had been arrested for OVI; I was able to drive up and bail him out, but I couldn't bail him out of the situation.

Since then life has been more of a roller coaster than usual. After his arrest he seemed to really settle down - I found out that he had failed to take his medicine for a few days before the incident and he promised he had learned his lesson and would take his medicine regularly. He put his mind into his studies and I really thought he might end up with an A and a couple of B's. But then depression hit again. He didn't go to school for two weeks and cut himself again.

We managed to get him back on track in time for finals and he managed to scrape by with passing grades. I spent days on edge and had to drive up sometimes twice a week. Now we face the consequences of his OVI. He went to court on the 26th and was sentenced to three days in jail, which he does this weekend, DUI school, and probation for two years, which will probably include mandatory counseling.

All I can say is

Years go by and days on endAnd still I can't recall -How I could smile with carefree joyIn that photo on the wall

You are there as wellChangeable eyes - this day blueGrasping my handHalf smiling at the camera

Where are those days of joy?They slipped slowly out of sightStill I hold your handAnd weep and hope and fight

5 comments:

Anonymous
said...

Hate to be nosy but I'm really curious how things are going. We have some amazingly similar family situations and your experiences are instructive and inspiring. I know how difficult it can be for all concerned and yet you just have to keep trying.