Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I Need to Complain for a Minute

Okay, so my last post was depressing, and this one is going to be whiny. I am really sorry for that. But I need to whine for a minute.

I have horrible heartburn. It started around 9 weeks, went away for a while, then came back around 16 weeks and seems to be here to stay. I don't get it daily, though it's pretty close to that, and when I do it's awful. Today, it started 3 hours after lunch and never went away. I feel like my upper chest is on fire and like I'm trapped somewhere between needing to throw up and burp. Half the time, I manage to do a little of both. Awesome. And I'm at work still and have no Tums. I'm starting to think about not eating dinner ever again, since it only seems to make it worse. Or I may just switch to ice cream dinners. Is that acceptable?

I am tired all the time. I thought the second trimester was supposed to be filled with energy. Mine is filled with wanting to sleep at my desk, far more so than the first trimester. This morning I woke up an hour after my alarm first went off, having no idea how I managed to turn my alarm off rather than hitting snooze for 45 minutes like usual. I was ready to go back to bed by noon.

I often feel like there isn't enough water in the world to satiate my thirst. I can drink a gallon or more in a day and still feel like I need more water. Surprisingly, I don't really pee that much, considering how much water I manage to drink. What the hell?

I am starting to get that unmotivated, slowly-sinking feeling that I get from time to time. I have no interest in my job (or anything else, really) at the moment but I have an enormous amount of work to do, none of which I am at all motivated to do. Sadly, I really just want to curl up on the floor and take a nap for a couple of weeks. Or quit my job. Either would be fine, I think. But I earn 80% of our household income, so quitting isn't really an option. I am really looking forward to Memorial Day weekend -- I had to work all Memorial Day weekend last year and ate all my meals at Panera, since it's the only place open on the weekend in the Financial District; this year, we will be out of town for a wedding, which seems a lot more fun.

Oh, and Ps car got broken into while we were sleeping last night. We live in a quiet neighborhood, so this was unexpected and rather shitty. Shittier for him than me, since it was his car. It was the first time in 2 years that he left his iPod in the car overnight (in the center console, so out of sight), which made it even more shitty. The police filled out the report but didn't seem to care much -- the guy didn't even turn off the car or stop listening to the radio (as in music, not the police radio).

All in all, I thought the second trimester was supposed to be all rainbows and sunshine and puppies. Bullshit. Mine has been all heartburn and exhaustion and mild depression. Where are my rainbows and sunshine and puppies?

6 comments:

Complain away! You've got a lot to complain about too! I've heard that baking soda can work for heartburn. There are directions on the side of the box. Maybe that will help? And I think all ice cream dinners sounds just perfect. I'm sorry about the car. That's awful. Hopefully the insurance will take care of everything. I hope you feel better soon!

About Me

P and I got married in the summer of 2005, three years after we got engaged. We started trying to conceive two years later and were incredibly lucky to succeed on the first try. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be, as there was something wrong with the baby's heart and it stopped beating. Miscarriage is super common, but we were still shocked it happened to us. This is our story -- a story of loss, trying again, and life in general.