SATIRE often struggles to keep pace
with reality, as the congregants of Westminster Abbey are the latest to discover.

Last year it was revealed that Dr
Wesley Carr, the dean of Westminster, had enjoyed a £45,000 unsecured
loan from the abbey funds. Shortly afterwards a spoof of the Westminster Abbey
Bulletin, the PR department's self-congratulatory newsletter, did the rounds:
it featured a letter from one "M. Muddleton" praising the dean's business
acumen and general saintliness. In a PS, Mr Muddleton asked if he too might
"borrow a few grand from the AbbWest Bank".

Lo and behold, as they say in ecclesiastical
circles: the latest accounts show that the Rev Canon Michael Middleton, the
man in charge of the abbey's finances, was last year the fortunate recipient
of a £50,000 loan!

The accounts also record that the
total put in the collecting plate at services was just £53,000 - barely
more than half the equivalent figure for the previous year.