Occupy Gun Street fails to protest gun inequality

An unusual protest has been going unnoticed by most media sources. Formed in response to the fact that 50% of all guns in America are owned by 3% of the people, the group has gathered on Gun Street to protest gun inequality.

The movement known as Occupy Gun Street has been rocking America to its very foundation from Alaska to Florida. A spokesperson said that the group was a “synergetic, grassroots, social collaboration” and cited their main complaint as gun wealth inequality.

One of the more peculiar oddities of this story is that the “Gun street” which the collaboration is attempting to occupy is, in fact, a physical street. Gun Street is an actual residential road which stretches entirely across the continental United States. There are similarly named streets in Alaska and Hawaii, but those obviously do not connect to the continental Gun Street. Gun Street is, in fact, the second largest continuously named road, beaten only by Vodka Street, Russia. Even more curiously, over 96% of that 3% subgroup of gun owners live either on Gun Street or on an offshoot of Gun Street such as Pistol Avenue or Assault Drive.

The Occupy Gun Street spokesperson told us that they were tired of this extreme inequality and informed us that they were planning a physical protest on Gun Street all across America. When asked how they could possibly coordinated such an expansive protest, they replied through social media and then spouted off numerous obscure and vowel-deficient app names.

The protest, which occurred last Saturday, ran into some difficulties. The demonstration, which was supposed to last well over 12 hours, was concluded after about 15 minutes. Apparently protesters were frightened away when the residents of Gun Street, and offshoots of Gun Street, approached the protesters wielding guns and demanded that the protesters leave. The State Run reached out to Occupy Gun Street asking about the oversight but received no response.

It appears that gun inequality will continue to be a problem in America despite many individual’s apparent best efforts.