Which Mercia Does Romney Want To Be President Of?

As you probably have read in the news by now, a Mitt Romney official iPhone App mistakenly spelled “America” as “Amercia”!

3 Worse Outcomes For Mitt Romney As A Result of Hiring Someone Unable To Spell “America”

1. To show he’s not a flip-flopper, he could head to America’s secret Area 52 (and to think all eyes were wasting time on Area 51) and jump in a time machine headed to a Mercia. And that Mercia was a 6th century English kingdom. All we can say is King Credoa of Mercia may not be able to relate to Mitt’s request for directions to the nearest house-car-elevator to park the time-traveling DeLorean in. (p.s. Mitt, the parking question may especially be poor etiquette to ask if Mercia is at war with Camelot upon your arrival.)

2. Mercia is also a woman’s name. So he could be elected President of one woman named Mercia, which sounds pretty immoral, unconstitutional and illegal to us! Anyway, we’ll assume he’ll pick this Mercia, namely Mercia Tinker. The good news is Mitt already has the time machine we referred to in the above paragraph, but the bad news if he picks the wrong time, she’ll be unavailable! Fortunately, if we learned anything from late-night comedians, Mitt is allowed to marry more than one woman. So Mitt better set that time machine earlier than when she started dating British film star Rex Harrison. Although, if Mitt does steal Rex’s girlfriend, that may ruin Rex’s performance in the Fifth Musketeer, which may not be such a bad thing, because four Musketeers is really our limit.

3. He could try to become president of Mercia, a British firm that provides training and support services to the accounting profession. Somehow, Mitt, we suspect the folks on Wall Street who donate to your campaign won’t be happy with more accounting measures!