Tag Archives: pregnancy announcements

Pregnancy announcements are never easy when you’re trying to conceive, but one which has swamped the media and is this morning taking up endless pages of many newspapers is particularly difficult to avoid. What makes this announcement even more challenging is that the Royal couple were only married a matter of months ago, and seem to have conceived with effortless ease.

It was unfortunate that the announcement came during Baby Loss Awareness Week, on a day when many people were preparing to light candles for the Wave of Light in memory of their own losses. Although the couple have been criticised online for this, the most likely reason is that they simply didn’t know the significance of the day.

The endless discussions about the Royal pregnancy are going to go on – and on, and on – during the next few months. One of the best ways of dealing with that is to spend time with other people who understand how you feel about this because they share similar experiences. Why not try one of Fertility Network UK’s fertility groups which run across the UK? They’re an ideal opportunity to meet others and can be really empowering. I admit I am biased about this as I run the group in South East London, but that’s because I know how much it can help. Being with other people who understand, and who share your conflicted feelings about pregnancy announcements can make all the difference. It can help you to realise that you are not having a personality change and becoming an unkind person, but are reacting in a perfectly normal way to an emotional challenge. You can find details of all FNUK’s groups here, and it there isn’t a group near you, they can offer other support too – have a look at their website

Dealing with other people’s pregnancies is one of the most difficult things when you are trying unsuccessfully to conceive. It’s the moment people tell you that is hardest – the awful sinking feeling that yet another of your friends or colleagues has been blessed while the numbers of childless people around you dwindle by the day, the horrible jealousy that you feel wondering why it can’t ever be your turn and the lump in your throat as you give a brittle smile and offer your congratulations.

Perhaps the worst thing about this is that it makes you start to dislike yourself. I’ve lost count of the number of times that women have told me they’ve stopped liking themselves when they’re trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully. You feel you are turning into a bitter, jealous person and it’s hard not to let those feelings overwhelm you.

There’s nothing you can do to escape those terrible moments of someone breaking the news but accepting that your reaction to it is perfectly normal will at least stop you thinking you’re turning into a monster. We have to try to come to terms with the fact that it is perfectly normal to feel this way – and that there are lots of other women out there who are trying to conceive who are going through just the same worries about their jealous feelings.

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Fertility Matters is written by Kate Brian who has been through fertility problems, tests and IVF treatment herself. The website gives reliable information, advice and support to anyone who is having difficulties getting pregnant. Read more