Hey, friends. Are you as glum and down and out about Lockdown as I am? Has your EC3 wallpaper become a grim Maggie Simpson “DO IT FOR HER” inspiration when watching Impact? Am I slightly overreacting? I dunno, let’s find out! (but probably yes)

– Go listen to the most recent Mandible Claw podcast. Brandon let me talk about TNA, and I said way more nice things than I should have (it was pre-Lockdown). The last half hour is Brandon reading a gross Cesaro/Alex Riley fanfic reading where he had to skip multiple paragraphs about b-hole licking due to redundancy. Multiple paragraphs!

– Like this report, comment on it, tweet it, tumbl it, send it to every person you know. Send it to people you don’t know. Send it to your local congressman. Don’t send it to Samoa Joe. Do tweet at EC3 and tell him he looks nice this week.

I really detested the crowd during the whole Rockstar Spud/ Dixie Carter segment. Seriously Floridians I know nobody taught you how to act like a human and I know that none of your family ever loved you hence why you’re from Florida and all but please show some decorum to the Spud please? Just show some peace and quiet towards the good guys, OK?

I’m sorry but Angelina Love might be the least appealing (non-gargantuan) woman in all of pro wrestling. When she first came out all I could focus on was how sickly she looked, then Velvet came out lookin like the human form of deliciousness and it made it even more obvious.

And I agree about MVP. If Triple H came out and made the exact same speech word for word about “if people got a problem come to this ring and take it up with me, then I’ll beat you down”, it’d be seen as a tyrannical owner abusing power, but TNA tries to make MVP into the “cool boss”

I still can’t get over just how much everyone in that angle (Velvet Sky, Angelina Love and Madison Rayne) picked their names out of the same bowl as Porn Valley. And are written with ABOUT the same amount of agency.

I loving the hell out of Willow. The whole thing is so incredibly ludicrous. My whole thing is that if you’re going to go with a really ridiculous crazy gimmick, you can’t go halfway, you need to go full on 100% balls to the wall right past ludicrous speed and go to plaid, and hooooo boy did Jeff Hardy go to plaid.

Rockstar Spud was pure gold during the memorial. Holy amazeballs he plays a wonderful character.

(sigh) what are you doing TNA? The Joseph Park/ Abyss with Magnus makes no damn sense at all. They have no history and there wasn’t even a plausible explanation for the alliance. YOU HAVE A YOUTUBE CHANNEL USE IT TO ADVANCE A STORY OR ALLIANCE YOU HAVENT EXPLAINED ON THE AIR!!! Personally I would like to see traces of Joseph Park occasionally popping up in the Abyss persona (or is that too much to ask?)
The Wolves need to watch the Sanada/KittyCat tag team as to how make high fying ,flippy offense that makes sense and actually looks good in the ring. Magnus,Spud, EC3 …they are my only joy right now. Those guys along with the Bromans and their DJ are the only ones doing a character that is more than” I am a tough guy and I will end you.” Entertain me ..PLEASE!!
Angelina Love / Velvet Sky…..so awkward to look at and listen too.
King of the Night?? Really??
The Willow Comics are awesome and need to be a weekly thing
Thanks Danielle!!

I’m a bit miffed that while on the impactwrestling.com roster page we get a picture of Awesome Bearded Sanada, on TV we have to watch Clean Shaven Sanada. I don’t know how long he sticks around, but someone needs to steal all his razors immediately.

great comparrision between having a new boss that’d change everything and what’s happening with TNA lately. describes it so accuratly.

MVP is exactly, exactly like what john cena would be if he was actually black, 40-something years old and the GM of TNA.

(but I don’t find him saying that he’d take the responsibility of deciplining who’s going out of line too much himself as a “bad” thing. nor him inturrupting a kayfabe unscheduled segment that caused the audiance to chant a bunch of bullshit (no matter how much we liked that beautiful segment) to announce a couple of important stuff as a GM should instead of wasting our time as something “bad”. also, bobby lashly answering EC3’s open challenge isn’t a “bad” thing nor unprovoked.)

pretty much agreed with the rest. but I’m really liking all the little details in the visuals TNA has been adding lately. especially the customs.