So right there you have everything you need to know about CPAC: Guns, God, and no Gays. How’s that rebranding working for you boys?

Anyway, you can see the entire schedule here. My favorite session to imagine is entitled “The Future of the Movement: Winning withGeneration X/Y” which I’m sure will have living fossils like Phyllis Schlafly and the exhumed remains of Saint Ronnie on display; perhaps in a diorama with Jeebus and a dinosaur? Maybe Marco “Big Gulp” Rubio will spin some Tupac.

“So right there you have everything you need to know about CPAC: Guns, God, and no Gays.” Oh, they’ll be gays there alright, because otherwise how will all the mens be entertained? Phyllis couldn’t give it away if she tried.