Holy Buckets, I hope this is not just a mass hysterical hallucination by the Nation, and we are going to snap out of it to find that they in fact DID NOT win…

Because honestly, we saw a weekend where freaking Josh Beckett threw a no-no for the Dodgers and Theo hired Manny to be a MENTOR to young hitter in the Cub organization. Its alternate reality time and anything is possible…

But it’s a good thing that they did win. My freaking black marker was running out of ink for all the black dots I have been placing on the schedule for the 2014 campaign. And speaking of, the Sox are DEAD LAST in the AL East, 8 games behind, of all teams, TORONTO. Although that is pretty much as a result of the 7-game winning streak they are carrying…

And I know we can go with the argument that many have: That this is the defending World Series champs, and that there are still 112 games left to be played. And its baseball, and anything can (and usually will) happen. But the fact that this ballclub is 21-29, EIGHT games UNDER .500 is completely unacceptable. Something is obviously broken with this team, and they need to figure out what the hell it is…and Fix. It.

Let’s start with Clay Buchholz, because apparently, That Clay Person is now a 2-3 inning guy–and that’s about all the Sox are getting out of him these days. With an ERA over SEVEN, he played no part in the win of yesterday, except for the fact that he made it HARDER for the Sox to do so. SSDD…

And THIS was his line: 3+ IP, giving up 6 runs on 4 hits (to be fair, Badenhop allowed the 2 inherited runners to score in the 4th…Hate that crap…) while walking EIGHT and striking out 4. He threw 88 pitches, 42 for strikes.

Do I need to mention the 1.98 WHIP he has so far this year? Blech…

Holy crap, was he channeling Daniel Bard??? He’s gonna end up like him, if something doesn’t give soon. And speaking of which, how many more times can John Farrell throw him out there and get this result. He needs to go to Pawtucket, or the DL or SOMEWHERE–he just CANNOT take the bump against Tampa Bay this weekend like this is just an issue to work through, and that he is miraculously going to get better…

And not only is he SUCKING, but he forced the bullpen to have to pick him up–and fortunately, did they. With the exception of the inherited runs nonsense from Badenhop, the Sox bullpen combined for 6 innings of 4 hit, no run ball with 4 strikeouts.

And if you didn’t notice, Koji is has a .92 (yes, as in 92 CENTS) ERA…

Ya know, I am trying to like AJ Pierzynski, I really am, but when I hear things like this: “I came in the dugout before the game and was, ‘Hey guys, let’s try to shake hands after the game and play some music. The other way sucks,'” I just want to PUNCH him. VERY hard. Really AJ, Ya THINK??? But I think Chad Finn said it best in his mailbag this weekend: “A.J. Pierzynski is a smirking tree-sloth of a catcher”.

Coming up: Jon Lester gets the start in game 2 of this series (with the final 2 games being played back at Fenway), opposed by Aaron Harang. Let’s hope he does better than his abysmal outing last weekend against Toronto. 1st pitch: 7:10pm