Monday, May 08, 2006

Isn't it obvious that I'm gay?

I had such a good day at church today. Not only did I get to chat with a cool guy in my ward, but I also became friends with some really cool girls. I anticipate some great friendships with these girls. (Like I've said before, the church makes meeting people really easy.)

I am a bit concerned, though. I feel bad that these girls may be interested in more than just friendship. I don't know that they are, but I would hate to break their hearts down the road. It has happened before – which amazes me, by the way. I still can’t figure out why people think I’m straight. Just because I don’t openly talk about being attracted to men does NOT mean I like women. Moreover, there are tons of signs that clearly indicate queer.

If I were to meet myself, I’d know I’m gay. It’s so obvious to me. For one thing, if I were interested in chicks, I'd be married by now. I am Mormon!!! You’d think most Mormon girls would consider that. After all, I’m charming, handsome, friendly, communicative, and essentially perfect – what else would be keeping me from marriage. (Joking, by the way!) Oh well ... people will figure it out, slowly but surely.

By the way, I am a little nervous about my boss finding out I'm gay. I recently learned that my boss is a very hardcore, Christian Republican (which is also a good way to describe my family, ironically), and I fear my boss may not be down with homo-ness. I would hate for my gayness to affect my job status. That would stink.

You’d think most Mormon girls would consider that. After all, I’m charming, handsome, friendly, communicative, and essentially perfect – what else would be keeping me from marriage. (Joking, by the way!) Oh well ... people will figure it out, slowly but surely.

While WE all know you're perfect... Many @ church might consider that there is something wrong with you to keep you from being married. For instance...you might beat your girlfriends, you might sleep around, or you may have an incurable disease. (This is the part where you laugh.) lol.... but, my money bet on that most people would assume that if you were gay, you wouldnt be at church. "He cant be gay! he's Mormon". How many times have you heard that one? (I know I have). Logically, all gay people are fire breathing, sex-addicted, alcohol and drug consuming sons and daughters of Lucifer/Satan/The Adversary etc. Would gay people be at church given such information? No. lol... SO GM, you arent gay, OBVIOUSLY ;)

I've asked the same question myself... "Can't they see that I'm gay?" And yet, by my still attending Church, the Church-going crowd can't see it! Of course, being married, acting straight (if you don't count the hugging scenes with certain guys)and all certainly doesn't help, and it keeps people from seeing the obvious... "sure he's a bit 'touchy-feely' but that can't mean he's gay!

Regarding your boss: You live in the Bay Area, right? Your being gay is hardly likely to raise an eyebrow at work.

By the way, my former boss is a hard-core Mormon. : ) My being gay didn't affect how he treated me. We did have an awkward debate about whether an in-the-works-transgendered guy should be allowed to dress up like a woman at work. (He was permitted to do so.)

I know this post is a little old but I thought I would throw my perspective in there. I am an LDS woman and I have several friends who struggle with same sex attraction that I love with all of my heart. The whole situation with the girls not knowing what you struggle with may or may not be true. Maybe they know it and still think you are a pretty great guy that would make a great friend. I know I have in the past. Don't worry about breaking their hearts. Just try not to be their friend and then just drop them. That is the biggest problem I have had with my gay Mormon friends. It makes it hard for me. Not because I like them and want to be with them but because they are my friends and I love my friends. I am glad that you don't assume that everyone in the church hates those who struggle with same sex attraction. I have been blessed with friends who add a new dimension to my life because of their struggle. Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I am grateful that they have shared their journies with me. It has made me a less judgemental and more loving person.

Hi i know this post is old but i'm new and i could use a friend to help me out. I too am a gay Mormon. i guess gay isn't the term for girls but you know what i mean. but anyway like you i was raised Mormon and my parents are very devote in their beliefs. how do i tell them that I'm gay and that they need to accept it? I would appreciate any help that i can get.

yeah, i'm lesbian too. i'm not worried about my parents because i think they would be ok if i told them, but i have a really great friend who's a guy, i love him a lot, but he's lds and i have no idea how he would react if i told him, so i need a bit of help here. what would be the average response from a very lds 13-yr old guy if a friend told him she was lesbian? and jess... depending on your age, your parents will have to put up with it regardless of what you tell them. be extra nice and good; show that being gay doesn't mean you are immoral. and DO NOt do anything stupid like sleeping with someone if they find out- they would really freak out over that (any parent would). good luck!!!

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About Me

I was first introduced to blogging by one of my professors during Winter Semester 2004. I didn't really understand it then, and I'm not sure I do today. However, I have learned that a blog can basically be anything you want it to be. With that in mind, I have created this blog as a way to describe my little conflict. Here's my problem: I'm gay and I'm Mormon. If you don't know already, the two don't mix very well. Though very few people will likely ever read this blog, I plan to use it as a way to describe my struggles, figure out my emotions, and work to overcome my problems.

To begin, I was born and raised in Utah. I'm the youngest in my family, and I have to admit that being the youngest is the best. I graduated from Brigham Young University in 2005. I'm currently working a great job in a great area. (How's that for vague?) I don't have any special talents, but I do enjoy singing -- though I don't do it well. I'm also a fan of politics -- conservative. I know, it's ironic that I'm conservative and a homosexual. Anyhow, if you have questions about me, just ask.