Sister

Sister, I am writing this to you. Although I don’t know if you have read any of the e-mails I have sent you in past, I am pretty sure you have read this blog. There is one thing that I have thought a lot about and I want you to know.

I know you probably want me in hell. I assume that is what your intention was. You might think I am angry. I am not. My response was tears for you. It is still hard to believe that I lost my best friend and that you would want us (your family) dead and in hell. If I am wrong about you thinking that, I am sorry.

So with knowing (or at least believing that is how it is) the above, I can still write what I am about to write. Over the past two 1/2 years I have thought of this on and off. If you decide you have had enough of being a victim and walk away from your current friends or if your friends one day decide that you are toxic and you find yourself alone and you needed help, would I drop everything to go be with you and help you (I realize that the chances of you calling me are slim. I know you wouldn’t want my “toxicity” around. But one day you might become that desperate or you might even realize we were never toxic.)? Without a doubt, the answer is always yes. So I want you to know, you are never alone in this world. If you need me, I am just a phone call away. I promise I will not bring up any of the awful past or hurt. I will be there to serve you. If you get cancer and need someone to clean up your vomit, I will do so. If you have gaping wounds of ooze, I will change your bandages (please don’t read into this that I want those things to happen to you, because I don’t. My prayers for you are all for good.).

Will it be awkward? Probably. You hate my guts and I know you hate my guts (I am assuming you hate my guts because my understanding is you would be happy with me in hell). I don’t imagine we will sit and laugh hysterically like we used to when we would get strange glances from our family. We probably won’t have anything to talk about. To fill the silence we could play Trivial Pursuit. And if it’s the 80’s version, song might break forth! I can go to the store and buy you the blueberries you like. Whatever is needed, I will be there for you.

You may scoff at this today and perhaps tomorrow. But if the day should arise, I don’t want any of the past to hinder you from contacting me. I will never turn my back on you. You never have to be alone. I love you.

May God bless you with every good gift from above.

With much love,

Your Family Member Always

P.S. After writing this, I thought I would ask the other three what they thought about stopping everything to help you if you ever needed it (I thought I knew the answer but I didn’t want to put words in their mouths). Mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Of course”. She will never stop loving you. We are all here for you if ever you should need us.

Did you ever consider that what if, just what if, your sister was telling the absolute truth and her ex-husband was as abusive as she said he was? Take out your perception of what happened in their marriage and put yourself in her shoes. Would you continue in a relationship with people who chose your abuser over you and then tried to help him take your children away from you? I notice that you left that tidbit out of your blog.

You are choosing to blame a website for what happened but have you examined your very own actions in light of the possibility of her telling the truth?
I’m fairly certain you will justify your own actions and find yourself blameless but if you do this small exercise you may understand why she has chosen to cut you out of her life. It is for her own safety.
As a good friend of hers, I can tell you that she neither wishes ill for you nor that she wants you in Hell. I’m not exactly sure where you got that idea but she believes in and follows Jesus and would never wish that for anyone. She prays for understanding and clarity for you and that you would find peace.

She would share his e-mails with me. She tried to see abuse in them. I saw a confused man asking questions and trying to understand.

Why does she think we took his side? Or why is she afraid of me (for her own safety she cut me out of her life?)? Because I said, “love your enemies” to her?

Did she think mom and dad chose their SIL over her because they said there are two sides to a story? GCMers were mad at me for this website b/c it only gave my side of the story. Did my sister let me come on GCM and tell our side or my BIL’s side for that matter? Are GCMers the only one that has a side to tell? Are they the only ones to be believed 100%? Are they the only ones who should never have to answer questions?

She may like the talking point that we tried to take her children away, but there is more to the story than that. Does anyone at GCM care that there might be something more to that?

“I notice that you left that tidbit out of your blog.”

Like I said in previous posts, I don’t want to go into detail on the world wide web or I could say a lot more. If it was okay with my sister and my family then I would. I wouldn’t mind sharing if it was okay with everyone involved.

After I wrote about a gift being passive aggressive and not understanding how it could be in one of my posts, I saw this on her FB page. This is why I would think she wants me in hell. I know in her brain she thinks we didn’t help her, when in reality we helped the best we knew how.

“There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine Albright

Again, have you ever considered that you are wrong and she told the truth? Knowing that she’s your sister first, and she hasn’t been known to be a liar in the past…and knowing that she wouldn’t have just made things up, considering what it cost her..
What if she told the truth and you sided with an abuser? Have you ever considered that?