What NOT to Do while Getting a Blowjob

The topic of giving and receiving head is so huge, I could write an entire book about it. I haven’t gone there, though, for fear that it might be considered too cerebral.

As someone who’s sucked her fair share of cock, I can tell you there are certain things that some guys do to make the whole process a hell of a lot less enjoyable. Are you guilty of any of these offences?

4 Things to Avoid Doing while Your Penis Is in Someone’s Mouth

1. Don’t Hold or Push Her Head Down

I don’t know what goes through a man’s head as he holds mine to his groin, but I can tell you that when I’m thinking is far from nice. Some women do enjoy being dominated in this way, but it’s always best to assume they don’t. If you want to try it, ask permission.

If you’re doing it because you want her to take you in deeper, or adhere to a certain rhythm, try using your words to express what you need. Tell her what you want, then give her the chance to deliver it. Holding her down against her will is both violent and gross.

2. Don’t Make Her Take It Deeper than She Wants

This includes holding her head down, as mentioned, or even thrusting your hips towards her face. Lots of guys do this and it’s really gross. If you want your girlfriend to speed up, or slow down, try communicating in a less aggressive way.

Try stroking her back to the rhythm you would like her to maintain. It might sound weird, but if you and your girlfriend are in tune, she’ll catch on. If she doesn’t, have a little conversation where you explain what it means, or figure out a signal that works for both of you.

3. Don’t Watch TV

Or text a friend, or play Sudoku. I once had a guy pick up his phone in the middle of me going down on him, and although this happened years ago, it still bothers me to think of it. Even if it’s a super casual one-time hookup, have some class.

Show your date the respect she deserves. If the blow job is so bad that you feel your time might be spent better doing something else, ask her to stop. Maybe spend some time doing things for her, or speak up and tell her what you want! I’m detecting a theme here, and it has to do with communication. Use your words, guys!

4. Don’t Operate Heavy Machinery

Be it a car or forklift or steamroller, save the oral sex fun time for the bedroom, or at the very least for a time when you’re not behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

Whenever I hear of a car accident with no apparent reason for the crash, I’m ashamed to admit that I wonder if it was caused by some dude getting a blowjob behind the wheel. In my opinion, it’s just as dangerous as drinking and driving. In fact, I think they should invent a breathalyzer test that measures the smell of cock on a passenger’s breath.

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