“There was this bar in Japan where they bring you warm Saki and massage your shoulders while you drink as much as you want,” said the first.

“Oh, that’s nothing. I was at a Hotel in Mumbai where you’d buy one whiskey and they’d refill the glass twice more – all while pretty girls danced for you.”

“Heck,” said the third, “There’s this bar in Dublin where as soon as they find out you’re a foreigner, they pay for all your drinks and then, after you’re tipsy, invite you into the back room where you get naked and have sex all night with the staff.”

“No way! Did that actually happen to you?”

“Well… not me. But it happened to my sister.”

An old ex-druggie is visiting his doctor. After a life of drinking and drugging, it’s taken a toll on his health.

“Well, Mr. Barton, you made it to 85, but I’m afraid I have bad news.”

“Tell it to me straight doc. I survived the booze and the cocaine, I can take it.”

“Your pancreas and kidneys are shot. Worse, you’ve got liver cancer. And the tests show early onset Alzheimer’s.”

Jim is told by his sponsor that he needs to participate more in service work. So he applies for the position of treasurer. They hold a group conscience and ask him “What is nine multiplied by four?” He thinks quickly and says “Thirty-three.” After the interview, he realizes his mistake. He’s surprised when they inform he got the job, despite there being four other candidates.

“But I got the wrong answer,” he protests.

“Yeah, we know. But you were closest.”

Johnny B. is struggling with recovery and, as luck would have it, he is pulled over by a policeman the one time he slips up.

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