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No yoga, no smile

I just could not get up for yoga this morning. I had so many good intentions, and then I woke up shivering in my bed at 6am … shivering! Seems it dropped a whole lot of degrees this morning and my alarm (which is the sound of trickling water that gradually turns into a tractor ploughing through a raging river) was not on the winning team. Crap. It always feels like the better option when I’m under my duvet, the outside air is frigid and I’m feeling “exhausted”, but on waking 90 minutes later, it really does not feel so good. In fact it is almost always disappointing that I didn’t get my ass out of bed and onto my mat, and I have that glum, bummed-out feeling for the rest of the day.

The trick is to remember that when the voice that advocates sleep at all costs starts nattering in my ear!

These from Garance made me smile this morning (despite being in the no-yoga zone). Love advice (some of which should be avoided at all costs!):

If you want to seduce a man, pretend like you’re redoing your lipstick while sucking on and licking your finger. (Hopefully you are also 16 …)

If you’re curious whether or not you’re in love with your man, cheat on him. If you don’t feel guilty at all, you don’t love him anymore. If you feel guilty, then it’s love and don’t worry he’ll never know you did it. ( I have to say, there is a little logic here)

For the first date, always carry a wig and dark sunglasses in your bag. That way, if it’s awful, excuse yourself to the bathroom, don your disguise and GTFO!!! He’ll never know. (Er … he may indeed notice)

Find a guy. Get yourself right in front of him and simply say, “Wanna fuck?” Works every time. (They are so damn easy)

If you want to know if he’s the right guy, it’s like with clothes. You have to try him to know if he’s good on you. (Totally agree)

Don’t worry, he won’t do that after you’re married. (LOL … old dog, new tricks?)

He’s not that ugly. Just wait you’ll get used to it. (I bet he’s a lovely person!)

We should have a baby, but keep living in our separate apartments. That’s how they do it in Europe. I think it would help our relationship. (Ah, sweet, he loves me, he really does)

If you want unconditional love, buy yourself a dog!

Every night I tell Xavier that he’s quite the lucky man to have married me. And can you even imagine, he totally believes it! (Absolutely … I’ve heard this exact advice from a gorgeous, sexy Lithuanian friend … the thing is that she totally believes it herself, and that her man would really be an complete sad sack without her … which of course he would!)