Stuck in a Memory – By Sara H

Sometimes memories come flooding back to you when you least expect them to. I was told this by a number of people in different times and zones and in different languages and contexts, literally. However, what they had obviously omitted telling me, perhaps because of their own inexperience or ignorance or maybe because they hadn’t really felt it was that when they do flood back… they might not leave you drenched but pinch you acutely like if you lie down naked on a drought land that’s been so parched for years that it has adopted the harsh fissures and grooves as it’s own textures and wears them with pride; and scars your soft flesh with prints that man-made tattoos can’t compete with.

The shrill whistle broke through my reverie. “Hey, the time is up, madam! We are closing in 5 mins, ” the body guard shouted. I waved my arm and lifted my aching body from its floating position in the cool waters and prepared to come out of the pool. My scars were not of the visible kind.

Alone in the changing room, I stood below the shower in silence and let cold water cascade down my naked body. And there he was…when I least expected it. The warmth filled the small shower cubicle and two strong hands reached out from behind me and started caressing my breasts. I sighed with pleasure, closed my eyes and threw back my head. The sting of the cold shower and the warmth of the body pressing against me was heady. I could feel the hardness in my back. A moan escaped loudly and echoed and added to the steaming glass of the cubicle.

The shrill of another whistle cut through my ecstasy and I quickly opened my eyes. As if on cue, the warmth disappeared, leaving me moist and shivering. I put off the shower and quickly put my clothes on.

It’s going to be a difficult drive home, I thought as I unlocked the car door and threw my bag inside. But as I got the car out of the basement parking, it started to rain.

I rolled up the windows and put on the radio. The side windows misted over and the wipers swung back and forth as if rocking on the romantic song playing on the radio.

A warm hand covered my hand on the gear stick. My stomach did a familiar lurch and a faint smile came to my lips. It was the same old song, it was the same old weather, it was the same old feeling….

No this drive is going to be a very pleasant one.

The hand had gripped my hand by now and was caressing my fingers. One by one. Slowly and ravishingly. I drove by one hand. There was hardly any traffic on the road and I was in no hurry to reach home.

The hot lips were on my fingers now and I could feel the goose bumps on my arms and the wetness between my legs.

The honking behind was like a tight slap! I braked and angrily looked into the rear mirror. A cheerful face was hanging out of the window of the white car behind me and waving erratically. It was Leena. My closest friend. “What has she done to her hair!” The first thought that rushed into my mind followed immediately by “whose car is that?!”

I parked on the curb suddenly realising the void next to me. Sigh! He has left. He always hated interruptions anyways. I felt emptiness around me but my eyes were on the rear mirror watching Leena saying Bye to the man in the driver seat as she was getting out.

Thinking how I will try and coax him out of his sulkiness, I was surprised at the feeling of the unconscious joy that was creeping as I waited for Leena to get into the seat he had vacated and listen to her.

Was this joy because I had met him today … not once but twice…or was it because Leena had literally jerked me back?

The night breeze was ruffling my hair as I sat with the hot cup of coffee on the balcony. It was 1 am in the morning. Sleep was far far away…the coffee was making sure of it. It had been a long day but still I wanted to be wide awake this time. I wanted to experience each moment, each whisper, each heart beat with my eyes open and not in slumber.

The night birds sounded loud and shrill in the silence. The smell of freshness after the rains filled my nostrils. I kept waiting.

The coffee finished and another hour passed. I still waited.

My back was sore and my body ached to feel the softness of the mattress to stretch out. I looked longingly towards the inviting white sheets on the bed inside the room. I really needed to lie down now.

Despite the full mug of coffee that usually keeps me awake for the rest of the night, my eyes became heavy as soon as I kept my head on the pillow. May be it was the long swim or the feel of the cool sheets against my hot skin.

“Your skin is so smooth.” He whispered in my ear. The hot air from his mouth in my ear sent erotic shivers down my spine and my lips opened on their own as if parched for some nectar that only his lips could provide. Sensing my need, he covered them with his and the rest of my body swiftly with his.

I moaned deep in his mouth as his hands touched me all over, slowly … oh so slowly. I could feel each strand of hair on my body and each cell beneath them as if someone had awakened them from deep hibernation.

My legs were twined with his… as tightly as his mouth was glued to mine… each of us gasping for air in small intervals. The sheets were crumpling beneath us and the cool room had turned hot and balmy. His hands moved and my heart lurched with the exciting sensations that were both familiar and new. I wanted to move my hands too and touch and feel but it seemed they had no strength or life in them. All they did was clutch at the sheets as if to keep me drowning in my own emotions.

The loud banging jerked us apart as if someone had thrown cold water over us. I felt him stiffen in anger and frustration as I struggled to open my eyes and figure out the source of banging.

He was gone by the time I managed to move, open my eyes and peer disoriented into the room. Light was pouring in from the gap in the curtains and the banging was the new alarm tune on my phone. The room filled with my cozy furniture strangely felt very very empty.