So You Think I’m a Troll

I recently had an interaction with a “friend” from high school on Facebook. We’ll call him Joe. A more accurate representation of our relationship would be that we knew each other by face and name. I’m not sure we ever had a legitimate conversation in school, but after our 20th class reunion I got a friend request from him. In the spirit of reconnecting with former classmates, building relationships with some people I didn’t know well, and growing relationships with others, I accepted.

Based on various comments, it became clear Joe liked to denigrate teachers for what he considered a fluff job–you know, only working from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., having tons of days off and sitting around sipping daiquiris all summer long. Piece of cake. They’re also a bunch of lazy whiners who get the day off at the drop of a snowflake … because teachers are sissies, according to what Joe had intimated. (I’m one of those cakewalk teachers, so those comments struck a chord with me.)

The post from Joe that irked me most recently insinuated that because of a snow day called for most districts in the area, teachers were down to only working seven months of the year. A totally asinine notion.

So, this is where the problem begins for me. I should have rolled my eyes and scrolled on by. I could have even said out loud what I was thinking–What a fucking tool! I should have considered the source and gone about my day without a comment … but I didn’t.

I have a few personality flaws:

I’m mouthy. If I have something on my mind, I’ll say it. Usually with diplomacy, but not always. I’m not known for backing down in the face of a bully or asshole. I will not be bulldozed.

I’m intuitive and smart. I will not be bullshitted. I have this thing–I don’t know if it’s a gift or a curse–but I can peg someone in the first 5 minutes of meeting them. I know if someone is a good person or an ass-pimple. If you’re duplicitous or a fraud, I know that. If you’re genuine and honest, I can tell that too. I don’t know that I’ve ever been wrong.

I’m passionate. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I’m happy or excited about something, you’ll know. When I’m pissed, you’ll know. I process everything as a feeling. You can say any words you choose, but I hear what you’re really saying based on how you say it. And if you’re condescending or shitty to me, it pisses me off.

I’m opinionated. And, apparently, I’m one of those assholes who thinks everyone is entitled to my opinion because I’ll share my thoughts with you whether you ask for them or not–especially if you say something that gets under my skin because you’re being a dick to me or someone else who doesn’t deserve it.

I despise people who are disingenuous. When someone is fake, it annoys me. When they say something condescending or rude and then try to play it off as something less than that, I get really irritated. It goes back to the thing where I don’t do bullshit. I can’t stand when someone tries to soft-pedal a total douchebag thing they said or did.

I won’t sit idly by when someone is being rude to another person–especially when it’s not warranted. Typically I try to be decent and diplomatic, but every once in a while I let my inner bitch go for a walk … and, on the day of “the trolling incident” I had on my walking boots.

In response to Joe’s lamentation that there were more days off for teachers, I commented, “Don’t worry, Joe. They’ll be in class extra days in June to make up for the days missed now. What’s your beef with teachers anyway?” He replied he didn’t have a beef with teachers and wondered why I asked. Another friend and fellow teacher commented almost simultaneously with me, “because you always slam teachers when they’re off.”

I won’t bore you with the play by play. Suffice it to say the other classmate and I both interpreted his comments as insults to teachers for being whiny slackers who don’t really work. He said we were “presumptuous and reaching” to come to that conclusion. You’d have to be a special class of idiot to not see that’s what he was saying, especially after he said, “teachers, I know, went into the profession for 3 words. June, July August.” Then he tried to say that he didn’t “discount anyone” for what they chose to do professionally. After the other teacher commented to defend her personal reasons for becoming a teacher, he said he wasn’t painting a broad stroke about all teachers, the ones he was talking about knew who they were.

But here’s the thing. He absolutely was making a broad statement and not just talking about a few.

So, after Joe repeatedly insulted teachers and then claimed that my friend and I were “presumptuous and reaching” to come to that conclusion, I laced up my Bitch Boots and gave him a piece of my mind:

And, then he called me a troll:

Am I a bitch? Probably. Am I an asshole? Maybe. Does that make me a troll? I don’t think so.

I clicked Unfriend. And moved on … well, except for writing this post. Now, I’m moving on.

Yeah, you’re finally moving on!! I don’t believe that for one second, of course, because you know…woman.

Ace’s class has been off like 7 or 8 snow days and her poor teacher is 39 sorts of frazzled. Lol. I love her and all the teachers who do a great job. Having a great teacher makes a world of difference in a kid’s life.donofalltrades recently posted…Dads are pretty too…

good for you. my wife is in the same boat at school, they are talking about working memorial day now and possibly spring break (which we had vacation plans for). Joe sounds like a jackass. I do wish you had chose another name for him other than Joe though…..mike recently posted…Two brains are better than one and I should know!

I don’t know what will happen in our district if they have to call another day. Friends of mine in MI had 6-7 days off just this month. They didn’t go back the entire week after Winter Break because of a big snow / ice storm. There’s been talk about extending the school day to try and make up days.

Oooh, I love you! (You can tell I’m totally ingenuous, I know, thanks to your bullshit detection radar.) I love those qualities about you- I too feel as though I can instantly gauge a person’s character- sometimes I play this game where I do it with people walking by me in the parking lot. Judgy? I think not. I prefer intuitive. But you- you are brave and you walk your talk. My hat is off to you.Stephanie @ Mommy, for Real. recently posted…In the Powder Room: Is Pot the New Red Wine?

What an ass. Does Joe have kids? If I were a teacher, I’d hate to have the assholes kids in my class. I have nothing but respect for most teachers. It’s a job I wouldn’t want to have. Late nights, working over breaks, constantly having to be “on” in the classroom and dealing with douchebag parents. No thanks.

To the teachers, thanks for all you do. I do try to not be one of those douchebag parents when talking with you. 🙂

it’s called being passive aggressive. Him, I mean. I knew someone who was exactly like that. Would make broad (twitter) statements but would be “speaking to” someone in particular. So, if you just happened to have something related to what they said, you would think they were talking about you. It’s an extremely cowardly approach and I would never know if this person was talking about me or not and it always made me angry/upset. For you: HE is the troll, not you. He’s doing exactly what trolls do: making a presumptuous statement that will invite attack. And it invited you. And made you more angry by brushing you off. THAT is a troll. Thank goodness you defriended him. Definitely not worth your time or trouble.

You are exactly right, Amy. I agree that he was trolling (stirring the pot, launching bombs and acting so innocent and blaming the people who get upset by the comments for taking them as intended) … and it’s a passive aggressive strategy. … I guess I skip the passive and go right to aggressive when someone strikes a nerve! lol Thanks for your great comment 🙂

I get like that. I get all hot and bothered when people are being complete ignorant asses on Facebook. Two things I’ve discovered though…1. You’ll never change an opinion that impassioned on Facebook and 2. If you continue a fight on someone else’s post it is a bit “trolly”. You wouldn’t want someone to do that on one of your posts.

Then again, I think you are totally right about teachers and how hard they work (and I’m not a teacher). And some people say SUCH STUPID things, it’s really hard NOT to say anything and just walk away. I get it. I have recently chosen to not see a relative’s posts because their views were so alien to my own, they were so adamant about their beliefs and would get really mean if you offered a differing opinion.

I agree, Jen … I know that I’m not going to change his opinion. But that wasn’t going to stop me from standing up for myself / teachers. And I walked away from the conversation because I saw that it was only going to go downhill from there. I knew that I would want to verbally kick his teeth in–and that wouldn’t be good.

I’ve had some pretty good and spirited conversations on my Facebook page with differing views and haven’t felt like anyone was trolling. Of course, we remained respectful enough and weren’t just out to bash others’ opinions. He is a different breed in that way. And that’s exactly why I hit unfriend as soon as I read his last comment.

(I have several people I’ve hidden from my feed for the same reasons you shared. Just not worth my increased blood pressure!)

I am, by turns, lovely, a bitch, completely honest and a total asshole. And I can never, EVER get a ‘feel’ for someone in the first five minutes. Unless they’re a total dick and make it inescapably obvious.

This spoke to me. Very recently, someone called me out for standing up for myself. And said that when you respond to bullies, you become a bully. I think that’s an untruth used to stop people from saying, “NO.” and you’re allowed to say no when someone is hurting you. I teach that to my kids. I think people have the right to defend themselves without being lumped in with the people who attacked. So…good for you for defending yourself and others. I think that’s brave.Bad Parenting Moments recently posted…And let it begin with me.

Absolutely!! It’s a tool used by some (usually bullies) to manipulate others and make them second guess themselves to keep them vulnerable. It makes me think about the girl I encountered when I was in 8th grade. She and a posse of boys surrounded me on my way home from school. She kept pushing me backwards into the boys and they pushed me forward back up to her. After 2 times of doing that and me telling her not to touch or push me, she did again even harder … I took the textbook I was holding and jammed it into her face. She stopped. I hurried and grabbed my book and all the papers that were flying around and rushed home with my sister and brother. If anyone had told me that I was a bully for defending myself, I would have known even then at 13 that they were crazy. There’s no way that defending yourself makes you a bully. No. Way.

Thank you for the great comment!! I think it’s important that people talk about what is and isn’t bullying–especially with our kids.

Yay, Jen! Your personality flaws are totally assets and he didn’t deserve a minute of your energy. Unfriend is one of the best features on Facebook.Lois Alter Mark recently posted…miraval: my oasis in the tucson desert

Ok we were separated at birth. I friended a really old friend on FB a long while ago. He just so happened to be a Catholic priest. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and just had to call him out on something and well… He was quickly defriended but first I forgot to pick up my kid from school because I was so mad and I also made sure I wrote a blog post. He HAD to be called out for being a bully. Catholic priest or not.

Joe is an ass and a coward for not owning his ass-ness (it’s a word…kinda). Teachers are the most underpaid, underrated people on earth. That’s why I still adore and give thanks for Mrs Garnitz from Grade 2 (1983), Mrs Cotterell from Grade 4 (1985), Mr Gerassi (1992) and Mrs Orkin and Mrs Sargeant (1993).

I can’t believe anyone would criticize teachers for being lazy. That blows my mind. I recently sat down with a friend who teaches German at a middle/high school and just hearing her talk about her typical day made me feel like hugging her and I am so not a hugger.Aussa Lorens recently posted…Group Therapy: January

I don’t get people like him. Does he have kids? Does he have any respect for his kids’ teachers? They’re playing a big part in molding them into the adults they are going to become. I still remember some of mine…and my kids have each had several who have made a big difference in their lives as well. I need to unfriend some people too. Mostly I just ignore, because I am a wimp when it comes to confrontation.dishofdailylife recently posted…Tangy Sesame Chicken Wings

I’m a lot like you, in that I find it hard not to offer my opinion. As far as Facebook goes, I’ve learned to simply unfriend people whose status updates offend me (if it happens repeatedly). Usually the ones that I want to say something to will come back with a stupid reply like “Joe”. At least you got rid of him from your timeline. And now you can go back to drinking your daiquiris.

p.s. Thank you for the work you do. My sons’ teachers are a big influence in their lives and I am so appreciative of the work they put in during school hours and beyond. I certainly don’t see teachers only working between 8am and 3pm, 9 months out of the year. Not the good ones anyway.another jennifer recently posted…5 Vlogging Tips for Beginners (video)

truth is you got trolled yourself. You hardly knew this guy at all and got angry over what he was saying about people in your profession in general not even directed at you personally, when you get angry, the troll wins, he got lulz out of you. Probably got more lulz reading this afterwards.

You can also never be sure who he even was, might have even been another one of your closer acquaintances posing on a fake account just to get lulz out of you. Trolls can turn out to be people you know, I know I’ve had girls start making fake online names to try and test me, if I’d cheat or not and bullshit like that.

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