Many men have faced this as they’ve grown into a more sexually active lifestyle. The woman who you spent so much time fawning over, making feel special, and trying your hardest to respect and adore as much as necessary to be rewarded… now wants to be smacked… treated rough. The man taught to be The Moron.. Is now being asked to be The Jerk!

Women Crave Arguments and Drama

Women live off of emotion while men instead live life based on logic. Women crave the excitement of emotions like anger, longing, lust, and happiness. Meanwhile men prefer to end arguments quickly with logic, rather then prolong it in order to feel emotionally satisfied. This is basic human nature. While men and women can mimic each other’s tendencies and traits, who they are remains embedded deep within their sexual DNA.

The anthropologist calculated 15 key proportions based on how various features—such as the lips, nose, cheekbones and brows—related to each face’s height and width. The researchers also compared the 15 random faces to each of the father’s faces to determine how closely they resembled one another.

The women then rated their childhood relationships with their fathers based on how emotionally invested they felt their dads had been in raising them and how much time their fathers had spent with them. The women were split into two groups based on how positively or negatively they rated their relationships.

Then the researchers asked the women to rate how attractive they found each of the 15 random male faces.

The women who had reported positive relationships with their fathers were much more likely to be attracted to men resembling their fathers, the researchers found. On the other hand, women with bad dad relationships did not find men who looked like their fathers appealing.

There’s more to the article, but this is again proof that the things you’ve heard growing up sometimes tend to be based in fact. Men seem to be attracted to women that resemble their mothers while women look for someone that reminds them of dad.

The article goes deeper and dissects the actual quality of the relationship but I think this is wholly unimportant. I’ve found that women who had an absentee father or unavailable father, long for a man who will treat them right, but at the same time, also find a man who they know will leave them or hurt them just like daddy did. A man that will make them cry, make them insecure, and self-questioning, will cheat on them, etc. Perhaps it’s a matter of wanting to remember those innocent feelings of youth, or perhaps it’s a way to control via sex, the emotions they wished to feel from their fathers.

Women Love Being Spanked

Most women may not even know this, but many of my readers have shared the same story over and over again when asking for advice. The women they’ve spent so hard trying to please in order to gain her affection, is now a completely different person in the bedroom. One reader was dumbfounded when the woman he thought was a prim and proper princess, was now asking him to pull her hair and smack her ass. He’d spent his whole life hearing that women should NEVER be smacked and yet here was one begging for it.

There should be a distinction drawn between abuse and playful spanking here. Most women love a smack on the rear as a playful gesture and in the bedroom as a sign of dominance. Few women truly enjoy being “slaves”, but many women enjoy feeling that a strong man is overpowering them. The type of man you see on the covers of romance novels. They want to feel like a fragile and sensitive woman in the arms of a lustful and confident man.

Be careful though, as this is like a lightswitch sometimes. Another reader wrote that he once extended this foreplay out of the bedroom and rather than a smile got a look of shock. Like the woman in the other room was simply an outfit that was worn and shed in that room, never to be seen outside.

Some female readers have even written in before to say similar things. That while they never ASKED to be spanked, when with a man that did this, they felt turned on even more. Not sure why, but going with it, it turned out to be something they often carried into their next relationship. In a overly politically correct society like ours is today, I think we sometimes lose focus on the fact that being who we were built to be is not that bad, so long as we find comfort in it and try to embrace our genetic dispositions rather than cover them up.

If this is based on childhood relationships, as the actual scientific study would suggest, why be so hung up on “genetic dispositions” and what is “embedded deep within their sexual DNA”? A hell of a lot of men like to be spanked as well, and I have no idea what would make anyone think that “men prefer to end arguments quickly with logic, rather then prolong it in order to feel emotionally satisfied”. Not in my experience.

On the latter, most studies concerning relationship psychology speak heavily on how communication differs between men and women. Typically, most men don’t crave the continued emotional stimulation from extended conversations. To put it simply, it’s usually more about the destination than the journey.

“Sexual DNA” may be a bit of a misnomer. While DNA is genetically developed, “Sexual DNA” is more a combination of genetics and upbringing. Termed as such because of the fact that it is not a true physical thing, but rather the result of our upbringing in combination with our inherited sexual traits.

No, spanking is not sadistic — at least not for most spankers. It is a way to get a woman incredibly hot, and for the women who DO like to be spanked, it is amazing. I can’t believe how common this desire is — how many women really want to be taken over a man’s knee. Not all of them want it hard, although many do. It does so many things — stimulation, helplessness, humiliation…

To explore part of the emotional reasoning behind spanking, movies like “Secretary” are good viewing. While it’s a bit of a more extreme example, it’s a really powerful movie about the passion, lust, and need to be adored/conquered/dominated by someone you trust, love, or hate.

spanking was used on me as a child. a good hairbrushing quickly was administered by my father using a hairbrush on my bare bottom. this procedure quickly corrected the misdoing and the misdoing not repeated knowing what would get. in my marriage we both decided spanking would be used on each other when mutually agreed thier misdoing would result in a hot bottom . this procedure far better than the previous option consisting of long arguments followed by hours of silence.

I belive it comes from women wanting an alpha male. A woman innatley wants the man to dominate (not bully) and the idea of a no nonsense male who will put her over his knee is quite erotic to the majority of females. Even in this era of women having being empowered. I have reserched many relationships where the women holds a sucessful career but is submissive in the household. Not the doormat kind but allows the man to be what his role instinctaly is head of the household. Relation ships such as this seem to flourish.
A spanking is not abuse, usualy even in childhood it is given out of love for correction. The children taken away from families were not the ones spanked but the ones beaten. There is a line. I have never heard of a women shouting abuse when she has been spanked by her partner.
As it plays a part in many erotic magazines as well as internet sites maybe its not as kinky as some would belive

I think you’re on the money and I’ve always likened that aspect of female success to beating a video game.

Yes, you conquered something difficult, but at the end, you find yourself on top of the mountain all alone and still wanting.

I think one of the major problems is that some women become so focused on doing everything a man can do, they forget that deep down, it is perfectly fine to submit. That surrender and trust is critical to a successful relationship and to true personal expression.

I’d even go so far as to say that many women may find themselves secretly pushing themselves harder to succeed because they secretly fear the idea that they really just want to be held securely and dominated, but feel that would make them weak or less of a “strong” woman.

Man or woman, submission to another is something we all struggle with. The more we struggle and build social structures to encourage or enable that struggle, the more things like this sort of spanking become more secretly enticing and desirable.

All a man has is his manhood and when taken away, he does not feel like a man no more.

Women who understand this one sentence above can find many successful relationships. I am sick of women now-a-days who deem themselves independent and does not give their man the upper hand. You can be fully independent and yet give your man the upper hand, then your man will have his manhood. Remember, you are the one who gives the upper hand so really, logically you have the upper hand. To elaborate more on this idea of upper hand, some women will only settle for a man who can snatch the upper hand off them while others will just hand it over. I like women who do not just hand it off.

Summarily, let your man be the man in relationship and you will have a much better relationship. If your man does not deserve it, then help him by guiding him in the right direction.

As for the spanking, it goes all the way to the dawn of civilization. Back then as long as a man can overpower a woman, then he will have sex with her. Women would fight back but if overpowered they’ll give up–just like animals. The strongest men had the ability to do this. Thus, psychologically, subconsciously some women still will only give in to men that will make them feel weak. However, now-a-days the feeling weaker is exercised differently. Women were like property to men, so men administered their behavior and spanked them just like their kids for correcting behavior.

Now-a-days they do not want to admit that they are property to men, but subconsciously they do. Hope this does not sound sexist but that is just how it is. They are not property though, but only because at one era we (men) did not care and we did not know any better. But now we all do–hopefully.

actually the world is sexist…it used to be and it will last forever…..
because like what you said, that’s how it works,
sexist last for thousands years and it changed the genetic or maybe i should say it maintains the genetic that makes women want to submit want to be dominated……
‘the survival of the fittest’…..
but no one knows what women like thousands years ago, maybe they are not masochists then…..^^

Women generally want a man that is a real man, not a wuss. A man that is strong enough to be their leader is also usually strong enough to protect them. That’s the way men and women are wired, and when roles are messed up or reversed things go wrong. If men were taught by their fathers what a man’s role is (to be a faithful provider and leader to his family) and women were taught their role (to be equal yet submitted partners) society would be a much better place.

Gee-Calvin-such an expert on sex and relationships you are! Not only is your fascinating information exact and well documented, your way with words only proves your intelligence. Things like, “he does not feel like a man no more.” Your comments imply that you know exactly what you are talking about and end up with the advice that we can all defer to you for more of the same when we end up needing your philosophies again.
Which in my case will be, well, never. You really are outta. Outta your mind to think anyone would listen to such stupidity.

What’s the big mystery about many women liking to play in the bedroom, but wanting proper respect outside the bedroom? It makes perfect sense to me and doesn’t mystify me at all.

That’s where the saying, “A lady in public and a whore in private” comes from.

Women like that are awesome! They’re proper and respectable in public so you can take them home to mom and be proud, and introduce them to coworkers and be proud, and if a guy goes to church, he can bring her there and be proud fo her. She won’t embarrass him in public with slutty behavior because she is a respectable lady.

Yet in private she’s got a lot of pentup bad girl that needs to be released and she wants to play hard and naughty. What’s wrong with that? Nothing! Polar women like this are fantastic!

I prefer women who are proper and respectable in public and naughty in private. That’s where the saying, “Naughty, but nice” comes from, or as I like to say, “Nice and naughty”.

It’s about keeping behavior appropriate to the circumstances and moment. I love women like that.

By contrast, I had two GFs who were consistently naughty and they embarrassed me and humiliated me many times in public. Like one time I introduced one of them to my 80 year old neighbor ladies and she told them a blow job joke. OMG. Not funny.

At the other extreme of consistent behavior is the girls/women who are consistently proper at all times in all places. Good in public, but frustrating in the bedroom. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is for a man to be with a beautiful women who won’t do anything in bed her mom or preacher didn’t give her permission to do?

Women who display consistant behavior across all circumstance (i.e. – all good girl or all bad girl) are always inappropriate a portion of the time. Women who adapt their behavior to the circumstance are behaving appropriately to the situation. i.e. – a lady in public, and a naughty spankofile in private who might even let a guy do some things he’s never done before.

A lady is public & a whore in private… that’s what my husband and I both like.

He treats me with total respect outside the bedroom. We are totally equal and work together toward mutual goals.

Inside the bedroom, our mutual goal is mutual satisfaction and that results in him being dominant and me being submissive. I like to be ‘slutty’ in the bedroom, to try new things, to have fun – SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! And every now and again, we take this out of the bedroom – such as when we go to the movies and I dress provacatively (no panties, or an open nippled bra)…

BTW – I am 48 and my husband is 50 – we’ve been married20+ years and keeping sex fun has been the way we have stayed happy.

Women want to be spanked for a variety of reasons. Summerizing can leave many things unexplained, however, I was asked by a women to spank her on a regular basis (and it does not involve sex). In her own words without editing:

“i have many reasons for wanting to be spanked. The reasons vary but i have an emotional and physical need to be spanked. Here are a few reasons:

1. i enjoy being spanked
2. i need the discipline
3. i need to answer to someone
4. spankings keep me grounded…keeps me from getting to big for my pants….i have a lot of authority with my job and it helps me from abusing that authority
5. i like the feeling of having someone control me
6. if i have done something wrong for a punishment spanking it does help me with guilt feelings for what i have done once i have been spanked
7. it relieves stress and tension for me
8. if a spanking is done correctly it makes me feel safe and secure

i like having to submit and place myself over your lap. i also enjoy being taken in hand as i like that type of dominance and physical control.”

My girlfriend loves for me to pull her hair, smack her face and spank her. The harder I hit, the harder we both orgasm. However, she only wants it sometimes. Other times, she wants to be the one on top and while I don’t like being hit or having my hair pulled, I love doing it to her.

It makes the whole experience so much more enticing when I do it. Why is it that she only wants it sometimes and others she wants to be the dominate one? She understands my likes though and only bites and rubs my softly while she is on top. I just don’t understand why she changes so drastically between our sex. We usually have sex every other day, or every day. It’s been like this the whole year we’ve been dating. Any ideas as to why?

As God is my witness, I met a lady online in Siberia and just returned from a trip, 1/21/10, to meet her in person. She begged me to spank her which I had never done before and doing it it freaked me out. I found this web page researching if a woman wanting to be spanked is perverted but apparently it’s an OK thing. I did what she ask but after the one and only belt session I put ice on her butt because I felt so guilty and wanted to prevent any bad bruising. She enjoyed the abuse so much and had such intense climaxs that I hated to deny her such pleasure and, because I think it’s important to be a good lover. It was extremely difficult for me to strike her because I had to go to a very dark place in me. I’ll probably have to go into therpy now after all this.

All this generalization is ridiculous. Some women liked to be spanked, some women don’t. Just as some men like to be spanked.

I personally like spanking in the bedroom. I have found that I have two warring aspects of my personality—and I am sure it is the same for a lot of the independent women who like to be spanked. Part of me wants to feel dominated and overpowered by a strong man, a man who has a calm and self-confident demeanor that also makes me feel like no matter what, everything will turn out ok. The other part of me doesn’t need protection, doesn’t want my freedom checked or reigned in by anyone, she is self-confident and proud of herself and has no problem making her own decisions and dealing with the consequences of them. The point is: I need both sides to feel whole. The men that think I don’t need pride or independence and that I should always submit to my man, need to reign in their pride a bit. If you can’t feel like a man without dominating your woman, you need to take a hard look at your own insecurities, because it’s ok for men to submit too. Maybe you need to forgive yourself for being insecure.

We all need balance. No one in this world is just one thing all the time. We all want to play multiple roles, because we are all complex individuals. Men should not expect women to be one thing all the time, just because we like to be independent and strong in one area of our lives doesn’t necessarily mean we want it in others. Or that we don’t.

That’s what was wrong with the old system, the man being dominant and the woman being submissive–you can’t force people to act a certain way all the time and expect them to be happy. The men of that time were just as unhappy as the women were, and modern men tend to forget that. They were stressed out all of the time because they carried all of the responsibilities. That’s a heavy burden to bear, I don’t care who you are. That’s why men are living longer now than they did back then—they aren’t drinking or smoking or womanizing themselves to death to deal with the stress of being “the man.”

I like your comment kirkpatrick. Listen! When i told my women i was going to throw the ruler away! Your know what she said…. Don’t you throw my ruler away. That ruler at that point became apart of our relationship. I felt bad spanking my Lady but I never admitted it but she really like it. I don’t use the ruler unless its truly for funn or to tap her on the but if Im upset. But I wonder if your comment should apply to me as well. I mean she really don’t like spanking me but she likes it. Should I tell her I want to be spank too. Is all krazy for me and need sound advise.

Well you sure are the snob. Most women appreciate that kind of honesty. Most women worth their salt hate snobs. This man may not have had your advantages but he is not afraid to speak his mind in kindness. You are just the kind of man we really don’t care for.

My wife was spanked a few times by her dad. But he stopped when she was a teen. So she went a little wild and he didn’t know what to do.
People confuse spanking a misbehaving teen girl with sexual spanking. Even dad can get confused if he gets a hard-on while he’s spanking a girl who has breasts and a woman butt. Ole Roscoe doesn’t know the difference and as he gets excited for all kinds of things: change of temperature, fear, anxiety, elation, you name it, he just may get excited about daughter’s butt. You just have to ignore him and get the job done.
The only things you should ever spank a woman with are your bare hand or a very lightweight paddle no heavier than a paint stirrer. There should be no bruising, and welts should be gone in a few hours. Never strike a female anywhere but on her butt. It is wide and padded, as if spanking was taken into consideration when they were designed.
Only punish when a woman is being rebellious, insubordinate or careless. If she makes a mistake, that does not call for punishment.
Do not spank if you are seriously angry. Cool off for a little and then spank.
Don’t force wife to submit to spanking. She must submit on her own in obedience to your command.
As daughters mature, they should be treated more like you treat your wife. By the time a daughter is 14-16, do not force her to submit to spanking. She has to learn to obey.
Important: Do your job of being a husband, father and ruler of your little kingdom.

My wife spanks me for erotic purposes. It makes me feel so close to her and does stimulate something deep down. I don’t know why it just does. Nothing better to arouse me without going over the top. I like the foreplay to last and be an experience before the climatic IC.

Very good and balanced post Jamie. As a husband I do loved to be spanked but it doesn’t include any domination by my wife. She is just meeting a need as part of foreplay. Obviously a lot of wives are this way as well. Submission doesn’t really come into it in my book. In a way she is submitting willingly to my request and has become very comfortable with it over the years.

I find there is very little sense spoken about this subject. Either it is all about punishment which we don’t indulge in or it’s talk about dominance and submission. There is very little on erotic spanking within a faithful and loving marriage. But who cares in a way. We still enjoy what we do and we have had a great marriage for twenty eight years.

My wife tries her best to submit to me but I do not dominate her. And no she is not switched on by being spanked. This thing has as many turns as there are people. It is senseless trying to make rules about it. I am the one who is spanked in the bedroom and yet she is the one who tries to submit to me as the husband. Submission does not mean slavery. It is just something that brings order into the marriage relationship. There is a respect there and I am encouraged to lead and do feel very manly because of it. I do not dominate her of course but concentrate more on loving her and letting her feel it. We do have a good marriage I feel. At least compared to what I read on the net.

I 100% agree with you.every women have a whore side in betweem them self.
Not only you alone go movies with out a panty.
I am 43 F from Spain and in BDSM life style with Hasband.
In ling drive i never wear underwear and some time wear a butt plug.

Craig, you sound like a desperately dull and unimaginative man and lover. Stop trying to be so “right on”. You’re like the smart kid in class who never gets any because he knows the difficult things but not the obvious ones. Take this anyway you want. Free advice

I think that men who spank daughters and think they have to remove clothing to do it, or underpants, are sexually perverted. My husband would never do that. Spanking on the bare butt is sexual and you can see it in Roman paintings of prostitutes. It was a kink in Victorian times. Children were not disciplined this way until after Victorian times. No one believes that of history, but children were often slapped or hit with an object instead. It was not a ritual, with clothing taken off and such. The term… to box their ears, was a common way to punish.

Hitting children with a stick and such was harsh, but more common. Yes, none of it good, but that’s the way it was. Parents didn’t think about it or have some ritual to it. The whole ritual of putting them over the knee and spanking on a bare bottom was not that common a way to discipline children. Parents didn’t think about it. They just hit what was accessible. Why spanking a child over your knee on the bare bottom became popular is odd. Many psychiatrists realize spanking like that is meant to be sexual. It was throughout history. You don’t see that type of spanking in paintings of children… only with women or men with other men.

I stopped worrying about why I want my husband to spank me on the bare. I was never spanked as a child. So, for me, it is not the case that my parents caused this, but I grew up in a time when other people’s parents thought nothing of spanking their children in front of me. I remember being ten and watching my neighbor spank his six year old daughter outside on a picnic table. I watched as he pulled her dress up and her underwear down. Right in front of everyone, she got a spanking on the bare with his hand. It was common in my working class neighborhood. I watched many of my friends get spanked and embarrassed in front of me. My parents weren’t like that and I think it became a fetish for me because I watched it.

I do think that it’s a sexual fetish and that’s why some men like it too. It’s not the way to stop an argument. My husband would never want it to be that way. I love the whole helpless feeling of being a ‘naughty girl’ and having my husband pull down my pants and put me over his knee. I love when he has me locked down and I can’t escape and realize that I’m butt naked over his knee with his hand coming down on my bare bottom… and there is nothing I can do about it. I love the dominance and the feeling of being dominated. I love losing control and feeling embarrassed. I stopped worrying if I need therapy over it. I’m a female engineer and I have to step all over men and be dominant all the time.

I have to get a job done right and can’t afford them to mess it up. I would never allow another man to dominate me at all. My husband is the only one that I allow to dominate me. He realizes I need to give up control at times and in our marriage I’m the submissive partner. I need that. I need him to take control and spank me good and hard once in a while during sex. It reminds me of who is in charge and then I need him to sexually dominate me. It’s all done in privacy and behind closed doors. It works for us. It’s sexual, but it reminds me that someone has to be in charge and I’d rather it be him in the household. He makes the final decisions and I don’t have that burden. The outside world is another matter.

“men instead live life based on logic.” I really like to meet the men you know. I have seen grown men throw tantrums. Yes, I’ve seen women too, but the men throw violent hissy fists and end up striking something they shouldn’t. And I work at a professional business office. I’ve seen women sit down and assess a situation before they act, while men are always impulsive.

I think spanking women is great. However, your idea of “I am sick of women now-a-days who deem themselves independent” is very sexist. I have many male colleagues who aren’t independent. I believe a man with your thinking is in no place to discipline someone else.

Why do I want to be spanked?
Hello there good people, tough moms, whoever
I have never been spanked. I have been canned a lot though (with that cheap, painful, readily available rattan thing), in school and at home. Now in my 30s i would pay for a good open-palm over-the-knee spanking from an assertive dominating woman (and strictly so, not at all male) but i haven’t found even one. This longing for a motherly spanking fills my mind all day long like a void in my very being needing to be filled. I only lived 6 years with my mom and then she sent me over to my grandma. (I assume she found something better to do). For reasons unknown to me, i long to be dominated and disciplined by a woman. In some ways i guess i deserve it at least for harbouring such thoughts (and perhaps with hopes that one good round might spank out the feeling if it turns out to be really unpleasant). My mom is still there but i can’t get past two words with her in conversation and mother’s rituals are such a chore. i haven’t yet found a woman to give me a good spanking so i prawl spanking sites and get a kick out my-mom-spanked-me stories. I’d trade so much to be a naughty 10 year old in a western family with a loving spanking mom. i imagine if i was given a good squeeze after a spanking, a raging storm will subside inside of me. Gee, that’s a lot to ask for. Do you think i need help? Why do i feel this way? Am i alone? So naive but I’m dead serious.hebrewsgh@yahoo.com

I have been obsessed with spanking since I was 8 years old. My dad only spanked me two times in my life. I never knew why I liked it after the age of 8. I thought I was abnormal having these mysterious desires. Then I stumbled upon the topic of adult spanking on Prodigy many years ago and want to hear, see, read and do more about this.

I am a lady in public and a vixen in private. I love to feel dominated, to have my pants pulled down or my skirt lifted up and my panties pulled down. I love the feeling of being held down very firmly where I can’t escape. The anticipation, that feeling of a sudden gust of wind that brushes against my bottom that is immediately followed by the warm tingling sensation excites me. I even like to be scolded like a little girl. I want to be spanked by a man who is loving but firm and authoritative. I love feeling dominated but also protected and cared for so I don’t like being spanked with anything other than a bare hand. The loving feeling of skin to skin contact, giving up control and just being totally helpless and submissive turns me on BIG time.

Sorry, it’s not to do craving drama and arguments. That’s the last thing I’d want to crave, growing up in a family of women who craved that. My father and I ran the other way and I’m a woman. Vanilla sex is just downright boring and doesn’t bring on the endorphins like a sexy spanking does. It has to be done right or it’s more pain than pleasure. It’s the thrill of letting your male partner be dominant and tapping into your submissive nature as a woman, safely. The guy can’t be a jerk and beat you. This is a about making sex better and spanking correctly brings on an endorphin high and brings blood to all the right places. My husband does not try to act like Daddy. This is about sex and spanking was considered sexual as far back as Roman times… which is why it’s not for children. It became sexual in the Victorian era and it is about D/s in a way. It’s a total turn on. I had a great father who did not spank. I actually ask my husband for spankings when I’m feeling stressed out. The endorphin high calms me down. Wow, this article is way off base.

I know I’m responding to a post left more than two years ago but figured I must weigh in on this issue having gone through it first hand.
I am specifically responding to this portion of your post Jamie.

“The point is: I need both sides to feel whole. The men that think I don’t need pride or independence and that I should always submit to my man, need to reign in their pride a bit. If you can’t feel like a man without dominating your woman, you need to take a hard look at your own insecurities.”

One of the most disappointing and frustrating things for me is to think that I’ve got a handle on what my wife’s needs are as she too loves being spanked and then she switch her likes and dislikes from day to day moment to moment.

I was never the type to want to spank my wife. Then one day as is the case with so many women, she presents me with this hidden desire she’s never expressed to me after many years of marriage.
In my effort to satisfy this new found desire I’ve been blindsided by, I start to research BDSM blogs, DD blogs and sites like this in an effort to get a handle on things.

I’ve finally get the information I need. I’m a Dom she’s a Sub. If this is what she wants, I’ll do whatever I can to accommodate. I spank her and she loves it. She tells me how excited she got. Okay I’m right where I need to be. Then suddenly I do it the next time and not only am I meet with sneering remarks but also emotions that are just way too much for something you just acknowledged you enjoyed.

I gave you play by play to say this…a man attempting to give you what you want on Monday and being called an abuser on Tuesday (she really didn’t say that but she might as well have because that’s how I was made to feel) has nothing to do with being insecure. It is however very confusing, frustrating, and dare i say even hurtful because your wants and needs are all over the place. Here’s an idea….Decide what you like and then like it. If you enjoy being dominated, let him dominate for God sakes. Men are hard wired to accomplish the task at hand. Whether it’s involves your genitalia or something as simple as driving to our destination. Stop changing the distance to the goal line…if it takes 100 yrds to reach a TD don’t just come up with new rules saying it now takes 200 yrds. Particularly if you know it’s all centered on you and your fulfillment. That’s usually seen as a good thing.

I like making my wife ejaculate and all sorts of other delicious responses and go to great lengths to make it happen. Imagine one night she wetting me and the entire bed and suddenly out of nowhere I start to scold her and ask her how dare she? One minute I like it the next minute I don’t.

The only thing I can suggest for someone like yourself (both Sub and Dom) is to make sure you effectively communicate that. And then hope your guy can deal with it. There’s nothing like coming home with all sorts of domineering goodies planned for your lady only to wind up being canned by her while wrapped in saran wrap wondering what the F#@K just happened. My wife did not communicate that to me and as I’ve said throughout, I can’t think of anything more frustrating.

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