Enjoy Watching Very Stoned People Drive Cars in This Hard-Hitting CNN Investigation

February 19, 2013

“As a consultant prepared our marijuana-smoking lab . . .” So begins this delightfully straight-faced CNN investigative report, in which the producers got Washington State drivers increasingly high in between repeated outings behind the wheel on a closed course to test their performance. The rest is journalism history.

Two of the subjects, Dylan and Jeff, turned in solid, workmanlike performances, letting CNN ply them with succeeding rounds of blueberry trainwreck like champs without distinguishing themselves particularly.

But the breakout star, without a question, is 27-year-old “heavy daily user” Addie, who undermined the scientific rigor of the study by showing up for her baseline sober driving evaluation already seven times over the legal limit. And her effervescent #YOLO attitude only increased as the testing continued. “The one time in your life you get to this, you should do it,” she mused sagely, accelerating into a turn. “You should DOOO IIIIT!”

Addie also proved herself the Chuck Yeager of the group, pushing the envelope of the possible, persuading CNN to let her smoke even more than producers had anticipated, risking life and limb for a chance to touch the sky and gather just a little more useful data.

“Yeah, that was awesome,” she self-narrated on her final woozy round, whipping around the corner with all the swagger of someone who knows she’s got the right stuff. “That was awesome.”