Typing isn't very easy when you have a well-bandaged finger in the air... so I'll keep this to some dot points and pictures [sorry for the repeat, Al]... [pictures might be a bit much for some folks to handle]

- Sat morning -

- 730-1600 shift -

Shower Resident 1.

Encourage Resident 2 to shower before breakfast.

A2 Residents in Dining Room for Breakfast.

Prepare Resident 3's coffee.

[[NOTE-the whole time I've worked at this facility, we've done the same routine: heat any main meals in the microwave before serving & heat drinks made with boiled water in the microwave. Resident 3 doesn't eat and drink them hugely fast, but I think the idea is she enjoys consuming the whole contents at a relatively warm tempetature.]]

Look in door-window of microwave - coffee is not boiling, foaming, frothing or looking overly agiatated.

Microwave beeps.

Take cup of extra-hot coffee out of microwave and place spoon in cup.

Eruption of contents over hand/s... owie owie ow...

Immediately put hands under cool water...

10minutes later EN [enrolled nurse], who was present at the time of accident, assesses hands, notes the affected areas, [thumb, pointer & middle finger from RIGHT hand worst affected, ring and pinky finger from LEFT], gets flaximide [? - burns cream] and covers both hands in cream.

Tells me to let it absorb for a while.

Wait with creamed hands looking at the work left to do in the kitchenette [I was early at this point].

Decide to put gloves on and using cold water finish dishes and kitchen cleaning.

This feels pretty good -- being in the cold water.

Go to Resident 3 who is now ready for a shower.

Showering with warm water = painagony!!

Attempt to be as quick as possible.

Fail - resident chooses to rethink each item of clothing - of course.

Hands feeling not good.

Have a couple of sneaky peaks at right fingers, they look ok and still well creamed.

Finish Resident 3.

Right hand feeling less comfortable.

Take gloves off - right pointer has a small blister.

Decide to show the EN [about 40 minutes after accident].

EN calls the Boss, decide I should visit the doctors.

EN wraps pointer finger and re-creams other fingers.

Drive off with big bandaged finger in the air.

Doctor notes well done bandage by EN and approves of cream and bandages used.

Says he does not need to see under bandages.

Gives me a list of things to get from Chemist and says for me to come back Wednesday.

Do errands, go home and have lunch.

Fingers don't feel bad.

Pointer finger doesn't feel like anything,

Mid Afternoon - Saturday.

Notice my bandage keeps slipping off.

Decide a bit of air might help before re-creaming fingers.

Upon removal of bandage, this is the sight that I'm greeted by:

That's so attractive.

Continue to apply cream, paraffin strips, gauze and wrap in a dressing.

Saturday night my finger looks a bit more like this:

That is even more attractive.

Dubbed "Pregnant Finger", the blister is entering the end of the first trimester.

Must be a girl blister...

Weight [blister width] on the sides and long [creeping towards knuckles].

Photo's get quite the uproar of "POP IT!!!" from Facebook by my friends and their "qualified medical advice" - haha.

Pointer finger still doesn't feel like anything really.

Re-cream and strap all burnt fingers and head to bed.

- Sunday -

Was surprised blister survived the night.

Merry Christmas fabulousness-es...

All burnt finger bandages survive minus pinky finger bandage.

Felt this was a good achievement.

Attempt a shower - relatively successful.

Late afternoon, Pregnant Pointer looks like this:

Dead sexy.

As you can see - blister continues to grow.

Let it air, re-cream and strap and head out.

Slight ache in 2nd proximal knuckle...

[if counting from the tip, its the 2nd knuckle down].

Pop a couple of pain killers and head to bed.

- Monday -

Pregnant Pointer survives night #2 - amazed.

Keep finger unwrapped for morning.

Still growing.

Not hot to touch or any particular painful areas.

Took Pregnant Pointer to the cinema to see Tintin.

We both enjoyed it.

Finger starts to ache more when out for tea at classy McDonalds.

Check finger's progress:

You're major impressed right?

Me too...

I think we've reached full term.

And I think I might see if my doctor can see me tomorrow instead of Wednesday.

I don't really want to have to wait till I can say "I think Pointer's waters have broken!"...

I am constantly finding things that make my heart jump into my throat - like my is saying "Here's a little sneak peak of where you want to be" -- like God has put them in my path...

The two bigger things so far involve a book and a television show...

I have been reading this book for a while now, which is weird because when I'm totally involved and in-love with a book I usually don't put them down - but as I continue to read through this awesome book, I get such a bigger longing to be a trained midwife and to serve the Lord somewhere, Australia or overseas. It also makes me impatient to be already studying midwifery, and so perhaps dragging out reading this book is helping to delay that urgency... because in reality, I'm within a year of becoming a nurse. Shazzam!!!

The and the TV series featured on SBS called "Toughest Place to be a...", and Episode three focuses on a Midwife and her journey from working in well provided, relaxed and comfortable UK to stretched resources, overfilled and stressed Liberia. Oh my... *tear*

And thats just a little blurt about a part of my day to --- whomever reads this

This week was the first week that I felt I grasped the concept of a body system. Any body system. It was possibly most likely due to the new teacher we had. As of this second term at school, we've had one teacher no longer continue with us [perhaps she was only with us for the infection sections!?], and picked up two more - one who I absolutely LOVE!

The way she teaches... it grasps you into the world of the system or thing she is talking about. She constantly asks you questions throughout each session, and is aware if you are fading out from her talking then she needs to get us to get up, move around, or do a quiz. She knows that if you don't have your mind stimulated, you wont pay attention, and if you aren't you wont learn. She also knows the importance of plenty of breaks. But the best thing is... the best... thing... is that she wants you to have a go. Say the wrong answer, or say the right... the point is that you try each time you are asked... and then progressively learn the things you don't know after that. I loved it!

Thursday I left school pumped --- stoked --- excited --- FULL of excitement!!! I made myself diagrams and labels and quizzed myself - particularly on the things I wasn't 100% sure of. Still have things I'm not 100% sure of, but I feel confident I know the digestive system pretty well.

Friday... was boring. SO was not inspired. I cannot stand people who just read a slideshow as it is. I could do that at home. I'm in the class to be challenged and stimulated and inspired to want to know more, to ask questions. Nada. I know the other teachers appreciate our Friday teacher, but his teaching technique does not make me want to keep my eyes open!!

The talk around work now is constantly "Who's next!!?!?"- next... to die.

*insert doomy boomy backgroundy music here*

This might seem horribly morbid, but in reality this is a dealing mechanism for us at work. By 'predicting' who is 'next', we can get our head around the fact that people die, deal with it, and go about our daily job. Or something. Plus when you work with the elderly, this is a large fact of life that occurs alot more frequently. ALOT.

Today, Number Two passed away. When Number One passed away about a month or so ago, I felt totally lost. I felt really sad, because there were many aspects of Number One that I adored, plus she has the cutest personality, even though no one could understand what she was saying. However, Number One was a handful, and so much of our routine was based around her. Infact, I would say in this particular area, one third of the routine was based around her. So, you can imagine how lost it was to then work without her there. Five minutes spare time? What is that...

Today, I got to work and heard that Number Two had been sent to hospital last night. I saw Number Two on Saturday, and she wasn't great, but we thought it might be just a bit of a phase. She was quiet. Mostly. Now that was unusual. She wasn't holding her frame - just a "floppy rag doll". Slightly unusual. She wasn't hungry and refused to eat or drink. Very unusual. Number Two lived on bacon and eggs, porridge, warm milk, and warm apple juice.

They told us she passed away comfortably, however it was due to heart failure and fluid around her heart and lungs that caused her to be hospitalised and evidently caused her to pass away. Number Two also had about one third of the routine in this particular area based around her. Two-thirds of every shift in that area has now changed. Thats a huge change. That's a change thats going to have hours cut from the roster because we don't have 2 high-care residents anymore.

Work was eerily quiet today. Residents were quite relaxed, but I think because they didn't know what has happened, and i'm not sure when or if they were told, they were oblivious and were just enjoying the peace and quiet. I believe the motto from upper management is not to tell them until they ask.

Tomorrow, I am probably working in that area with the two-thirds of the work routine gone. I'll kick myself if I subconsciously make bacon and eggs for Number Two - who, clearly, wont be eating it...

This is a cartoon i drew of one of my teachers. She wasn't actually asleep - but I felt like I was close enough!

"Protons, Neutrons, Electrons" - quite the quirky, funky song as all good songs are from the Cat Empire. So you're there, you haven't heard of it and want to geek yourself up a little bit? Check it out now.

Anyway, the point of that is to mention what I'm up-to studying now. Protons. Neutrons. Electrons. Because Chemistry is involved in nursing. Its in everything we do and can see. Oh, and we're also learning about the Legal side of nursing. Sooo - there is currently alot of reading, writing, listening, thinking and lack-of-interest in places/sections at the moment... atleast when I find it gets too much, I go and look up some weird word and learn what it is.

I'm finding it a struggle to study at home - too many easy distractions or easy annoyances. Yet, when I take myself out to a cafe, despite the noise level, it seems remarkably easier. Except this afternoon that is. While trying to drill my brain with chemistry information, I'm more interested in hearing the conversations around me; the girls planning the new interior design of the store, what colours and where everything should/could/would go; the two older ladies discussing their woe's of ageing bodies and family; the two Christian guys discussing church, studies and expectations of people [I might have tried to find out which church they belonged to via their conversation - or I perhaps I didn't].

Today I also spent an hour with one of the ladies from my church, who after a health problem a fortnight ago, is now residing in the hospital awaiting transfer to a long-term facility. When I arrived, she was quite agitated and eager to get out of her seat and away from the hospital. Throughout the time I spent there, we had to locate her glasses [tucked well into her dressing gown] as some mail arrived from her son in Tassie. I read the documents to her, and at the end she looked at me with the strangest perplexed expresssion. I think she didn't understand who was writing to her for a little while, but in the end she did. I read her some of Philippians 3 to encourage her - however when I was finished I wasn't sure if she was sleeping or praying. In the end, she seemed alot more content and less agitated and was enjoying a good perusal of a gardening magazine.

Today I also [randomly] decided to review on some "Bloody Idiot" tv ads. These are the "if you drink and drive, you are a bloody idiot" ones. One of my friends sent me the youtube link to TAC - the Victorian's plan to lower the road toll deaths around the country. Some of these ad's I've seen before, and others I've seen for the first time. Most of them are horribly impacting, challenging and extremely unnerving - especially when you can consider countless times when you could've been in the same position as a driver, passenger or onlooker. However, they were very effective on causing me to be even more aware of my surroundings when driving.... especially as I already think I am pretty aware of everything... but accidents definately do happen [as I've proved twice already].

End of my third week at Nursing School. I'm tired! I've got SO much to read! I think most of us only realised today just how much extra work we have to proactively set about to do ourselves. We have so many classes on different topics with different teachers, being given different assignments to focus on, and today was the first time one of the teachers said [first time that I was aware of] that we need to read "x" chapters of our main text book PLUS the extra, non-compulsary workbooks they put online for us - JUST to keep our minds fluid with the phrases, abbreviations, and context of what we are doing. That's onTOP of doing our assigned homework!!

This could be a painful 12months ahead, but despite all the work, these are very exciting days...

I am having a real desire to just be... as is, full stop, hold that colour palatte. I've been thinking about changing my blog to a pure, white canvas, but haven't felt committed to it till last weekend. Then I noticed a friend of mine, who is a drawer, animator and graphic designer who's blog has totally inspired me to get back into my drawings, has a white blog page. It looks good.

So now I'm looking for a good, white blog template. Perhaps you are already looking at it. Perhaps, you aren't... but here's a thought for today after I just spent a couple of hours writing notes about Mumps, Meningitis, and Meningoencephelitis. It was pretty interesting, in my opinion.

Last Thursday, I began the journey to move towards the next step to become a bigger part of the Health Care Industry. So far, its been a breeze, as orientation days can be. I've got most of the names of my new class friends down pat, and I think I've successfully established my quirky-friendly-"ice breaking"-uniqueness within the group.

Mostly its been listening, discussing, reading while listening, signing, agreeing and reading. And having enough breaks to consume mass quantities of coffee - in my dreams - because they stock the worst of the worst.... INTERNATIONAL ROAST!!! OH MY GOD! That is not coffee... looks like I need to bring some of my coffee expertise to school!!

I have some really quirky new buds... the few I've had the most time with include a quiet chick who sings in a metal band, a Bieber-fantatic zany quirky girl, a know-it-all opinionated but still fun dad of one, a overly-zealously-random Plebotomist [takes blood]... among those I've still got time to get to know!

Around study and school, I've still got work. Its really hard to remember I'm not a nurse YET, but I am heading there.

Today, however, I wish I had all the possible training. One of the residents literally went from consciously there, to suddenly unable to walk, to unconscious way too quickly. She was out for about 10 minutes, and for about 8 minutes my heart was racing SOOO hard. She's one of my favourites, and shes one that doesn't really speak but has alot of animation in her face. The idea that something possibly was seriously wrong and there was nothing that I could legally do to help other than assist the nurse and RN.

Thankfully, I had another carer with me at the time that our resident went down hill. Thankfully, there were two people outside of the residents room with phones that I could borrow - because 2 of the 3 carers on shift don't carry phones, and both of us happen to be in the situation today. Thankfully, I remembered my training to only speak the necessary urgency on the phone, and not to 'diagnose' the situation. Thankfully the nurses allowed me to ask questions afterwards, and thankfully they were both happy with how us carers handled the situation. Mostly, I'm thankful the other residents didn't get mad when lunch was late.

For a moment I was scared that I won't be good in urgent situations. But when I thought about it, I was mostly scared because I didn't know what I could do - but that is fine because - I'm not at that stage yet. I'm not trained in those areas yet. I've not had the time to build the experience to get the confidence yet.

I think I just had the shortest shift at work thus far. Here's how the day panned out:

Alarm goes at 7:45am, but I'm already up. Great sleep!
Decided outfit, got dressed.
Had a tasty breakfast - mmm so tasty.
Have time spare, research AusPost so I can pick up my parcel - not open till I'm at work. Dang.
Faff.
Head to work. Arrive 0858.
See friend pull up at the same time. Debate about going round the front, but last time it was locked. Choose side entrance.
Thought to wait for friend [who has key], but think she might take too long.
Ring door bell - [note this is the disastrous move...]
Door answered by RN. Served a pretty big slamming about ringing the door bell when the front door was open. Noted.
Thought I was okay.
Nope, not okay. Need space. Decide where to go to clear my head and avoid people for a bit.
EN comes and talks to me and asks if I'm okay. Oh poo, a fountain is pouring down my face.
Why the heck am I crying? It can't be because I got a big telling off. EN looks teary... odd.
Figure I've got a few things on my mind, and the telling off just triggered a reaction.
Calm myself down.
Maintenance dude see's me hiding outside, that i've been crying, and this makes him cry. Naw...
Maintenance dude makes me laugh, I can handle the day.
Plan to wash my face before facing the resi's.
RN comes and talks to me after talking to the EN.
More bloody crying. What the heck!? I'm not even being poked and asked "Are you gonna cry"...
Calmed down, made a plan with RN. I can handle the day again...
Wash my face in the bathroom. Take a moment. I'm good.
Walk out of bathroom. CEO sees me and says hi.
I try and fob a "Oh you've caught me going somewhere - here's a side wave".
CEO asks how I am. I can't not face her now...
I said "I'm fine, its all good, I'll be okay... I'll talk to you later"
CEO says its not fair to the residents to see me looking like I do. Thanks, now you made me feel crap.
More bloody crying. CEO wants to know whats going on.
CEO tells me to come in to her office and talk.
I have no idea anymore.
CEO sends me home.
Arrived home 0947.

Pretty sure I'm not paid for that 40 minutes of sitting around at work crying. CRYING!? I hate being a chick sometimes, seriously, especially because I get a mega ugly face when I do that awkward cry. I have no idea whats going on. Is it possible that today I'm just really on edge and I was caught off guard this morning?? I had plenty of sleep. I had breakfast even. What - the - freak...

I think today can be known as D-day = Disaster day. Today I need mega big strength, Lord! I don't think I'm up for much... but it will be nice to be able to lounge in my PJ's...

U2 song if you didn't know... and now, I'd like to start off with something a little different: Blergh!!!

I'm feeling stuck in a limbo place, like I am lost in a labyrinth - I know where I am meant to be, but there are a few decisions of some of the turns that I take which lead me in a variety of directions, causing me to feel, well ha, lost.

I think its because there are loads of changes taking place. My friends are all heading in new directions, because they are having families, or new career paths, living in new places, making new friends, going to new churches, or just having new adjustments in life. For a few of those friends I know we'll pull through because we will always put that effort in, but for some of the others I'm afraid the change will actually make some great huge gap in the friendship. Not saying that its bad for people to change or for life to change - nay, infact I welcome it! Its just that I have to get used to it... re-adjust to the new-ness of it all... and I have to be ready to let other people have their own changes happen.

Of course, I can't sit here drinking my Latte writing all of that and make it sound like I'm being left behind. That's not what I'm trying to get across. I'm just trying to get out of my head the thoughts that are storming through at this moment, and you get to read them in some riddly way. Its okay! I know I'm also heading in a new direction.

In many ways I think this faffy, limbo-feeling is more to reflect that its a bit scary - all this change. Its scary to feel unsure about things you thought you were sure about. Its also a time to recognise we have to let God's path for each of us run ahead, individually, as a group, as a family. We can't stall our destination, only the journey getting there.

I get jealous of other friendships. Terrible thing to admit, but I do. I try SO hard not to get jealous, because i know its not productive, and it causes one to assume things that are - usually - false. I know it stems from my 'awkward' years [age 9-16] where most friendships were purely for some platonic end result like getting homework projects done or help with art stuff, and then when there was achievement, friendship would be over and I'd be outcast again. Stupidly, I would believe them every time that their friendship was true. Burnies burnies ouchie-wah burnies. When in my final year of school, I developed a 'no-care' philosophy that resulted in rebellion, a stand against bullies, an adoption of the awkward kids and a personality boost. But it still creeps in every now and then. Phew! I'm glad I said that out loud [on my blog].

I get really hurt when a new friendship doesn't turn out the way I want/wish it to. I know, I really know, that you can't be friends with everyone... but that doesn't stop me from trying. Infact, I sometimes try so hard it makes me sick, or really really emotionally and mentally drained. I'm quickly learning that sometimes, on the rare occasion, there are just the 'church' friends, or the 'I would like a project done, lets communicate' friends. I am also learning that not everyone is as efficient at communicating as I am... and that's okay, and it doesn't always mean you can't be friends. All of that just shows that the friends I've had for a long time are just fabulous for loving me for soooooo long... because clearly I can be a bit demanding. Awesome, but demanding!

A positive random to note: I'll probably be WAY too busy with school, work and my church activities for the next 14months that I'll have no time to think about boys or singleness, and will likely be having the best sleeps since Dry Dock in Singapore! I told you that it was random!

My inspiration for the week comes from the moving "Flashdance", a movie I seriously love. I've watched it twice this past week. Alex, the lead character, works 2 jobs, rides her bike everywhere - even in heels and a LBD - and dances up a sweaty storm in all the other free time that she has. Crazy. If you haven't seen the movie, and don't love cheesy dance movies, don't watch it. But if you do love cheesy dance movies, then its a winner. 80's bad hair, bad dancing, bad outfits, bad background music, but full of greatness...

What's inspiring you this week!?

NB: As I am just about to finish and post this monstrosity, Julia Lester stops by to ask me a favour. Don't know who Julia Lester is? Neither did I... till I found her on the ABC Classical FM Website. She brings home the Classical Drive for the crazy Adelaide people who are driving home from work. I liked how she introduced herself... it was classy. Small time fame, but coolness.

Friday afternoon was not your typically inviting weather for camping. Nor was Saturday. But brave it we did and conquer it we have.

My shift at work on Friday went relatively well. Showers done, we all made our way at our pace up to the Big Room for the Friday Barbecue Breakfast. Fridays always have a great start because no matter how long you are working for, you get to eat a hearty meal with the residents. Work finished a bit late, and i managed to shower and pack my car up for camping within an hour. I was also impressed.

Picking Pete up on the way, I was highly amused that he was bringing more stuff than me - a girl. He was even bringing more clothes than me, which when I first thought about it, I wondered if I somehow could've missed packing vitally important things like underwear or a change of socks. Satisfied I hadn't forgotten anything, and that I pack better than him, I happily left him to tie all the bikes and gear up [because he didn't need any help, he said] and then we made tracks for the hills.

We passed the Mount Lofty Information Centre with the understanding that Pete knew where he was going. I thought we needed to take road [a] but Pete thought we took road [b]. So we drove down road [b] to discover that it wasn't the way we were needing to go. I again thought we should take road [a] but Pete thought perhaps we should go down road [c] - but the choice was up to me. SO I did what any chick would do - I drove back to the Information Centre to get a map.

HILARIOUSLY... I was right. But because I'm nice, I don't rub it in. Noteably, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't hear the end of it. Ha. We had some trouble getting the lock undone at the gate, but we found the site quickly, followed by Tim & Nay.

We were all ready for bed - it was only about 9pm - when Justin & Cheryl finally arrived. It was amusing to watch him put their tent up, he wasn't happy with his tent not behaving, and it probably didn't help that we were having a good laugh about it. Pretty much, as soon as they were set up, the rest of us dispersed to bed.

The next day, after a restless night of sleep, most of us took a while to warm up to the vertical position but thanks to the roaring fire that wasn't starting too quickly... [note: kids verses boys. Kids cheat first, then boys cheat, then boys atleast start the fire using their cheating method]. The blokes took swing to the wind and hacked up several logs, slowly building our burning nest egg up throughout the day. I took a ride down one of the roads nearby, only to discover its mush and lack of riding ability on a downhill run and careered into the trees via a slip-sliding path. After a tour through some pine growth, I came out the other side, muddy, tired but enjoyed the ride. After lunch, some of the others took to a ride, and found a bike path through the pines that a group of us did several times. It had all the perks of sharp corners, sludge pits, a nice down hill run quickly followed by a sharp turn that if you miss will create an entertaining scenario for anyone else watching. Atleast after we finished the ride, I wasn't the only one with a mud trail up my back and splatters down my front.

Justin and I had a jam sesh in the arvo as he brought his guitar [wait, I brought his guitar], which I really enjoyed, and I think the others did too. Some of the gang started getting tea ready, and others took some walks. At about 6pm, 2 girls that Sharon knows from church came out and brought dessert for us all. It was GREAT! We all stank, yet it was nice that they were keen to chat - AND bring great food. Our eyes were all stinging from the smoke which made going to bed early easy... until....

5:30am. Car alarm going off. Thankfully it stopped soon after, however we later discovered that no one turned it off and no one got out of their tents to check out why it did go off. But then something [okay, it was a roo] was sniffing at my tent not long after that - so I decided that Roo's had bumped into someone's car and set off the alarm. That was a better theory than one that some perve tried to get into a car and then came and sniffed my tent. Yeah, not cool...

The next day we all were packed pretty early and eating delicious porridge. That is, all of us except Justin & Cheryl. Somehow they missed the note [or the general awareness] that you usually pack up and leave a campsite early. There was this classic moment when they were both sitting looking at the fire eating breakfast when the rest of us are loading up cars and tidying up. I had a good chuckle!

After a GREAT lunch at Williamstown, we all made our ways back home to unpack, set up, clean up, pack down and wash.

For those of you who like looking at my face [haha] here's the latest photo of me - for you

The events that took place since last Thursday:

I was trawling through through my Inbox on a lazy day off when I happened upon an email that I had received from a RTO [that's a registered training organisation for those playing at home] for ab Enrolled Nurse course I'd enquired about, oh, quite a few months ago. This email was an invite to attend an Info Sesh about the course. On that very day. Dang...

Shooting off an email to enquire if there was still a place for me to attend this session, I wasn't sure that the reply would be good - or quick. Surprisingly, considering their lack of reply to previous emails, it was both. A spot was still available for me. Good vibes chartered through my veins as I set about my day of doing whatever it was I felt like doing.

I arrived at the Info Sesh, wearing my cool ice-breaking "How" jumper {its a huge hand printed on the front of my hoodie, and if you open the zipper a bit, it turns the huge hand into a Klingon [startrek, anyone?] greeting hand instead}. I couldn't understand why the session would take two hours until after the session our guide and teacher showed us around the facility and surmised the tour with "We'll meet back in 10 minutes for you to sit your application tests". Pardon eh moi? No - speakah - zee - crazy - guide - talk. Application tests? I am not prepared for this!!!

Numeracy test *sweat*... I gave everything a shot, but if you're a normal person, its probably been since you were at school since you've had to multiply fractions, divide long division sums and do divisions without calculators that end in decimal places because one number just doesn't quite fit equally into another any amount of times. Round this, square that, change this from a fraction into an answer. Give me {a x b + c = X} anyday. Times up...

Literacy test. *chilled* I could do this blindfolded with both arms tied behind my back. You'll agree. I am pretty sure I passed this well. Really well.

Our teacher said that if in about 10 days we get a phone call, its to set up a time for a 2nd interview, a 1-on-1 meet and greet that would be about an 80% guarantee that you are in the course. However, if in about 3 weeks you get a letter, its to say that at this time you didn't make it.

Now in no way was I discounting myself, but I was sure my maths would've hindered my application. Positively not making the cut.

I leave the meeting feeling confused if I've done the right thing, if I am kicking myself in the biblical gonads [as my friend Monty suddenly likes to say] by jumping too far ahead of where i'm comfortably grounded. Comfortably, comfortable, comfort...

Gee, Carola! God doesn't call us to live a comfortable life! He wants us to trust Him! Follow Him! God clearly held a position at the Info Sesh for me so I could attend even though I RSVP'd on the day. He clearly guided me through my two tests that I was to do. I just had to give up on concerning myself with the fiddly bits of it all and just trust God that this is the direction He was wanting me to head towards since I started heading along this parth. Clearly - it is [well, to me anyway]...

Lets continue in this story, shall we? It goes on...

Tuesday. Phone call from private number. I usually let unknown phone callers speak with my secretary on my message bank. This time I answered. Its the RTO i was at on Thursday. They want to have me come in with all my documents and certificates. They want me to come in.... they want me to come IN!??!?!? Reality sets in and I feel I've been accepted into the course. Oh crap. That first 30% of fee's... how am I going to pay it!? Calm down, pray, rally the troops to pray, and sort that out after the interview...

Wednesday. Interview. Thankfully, I was blessed with most mornings off this week, so I had plenty of time to get myself organised. Interview goes well, and I'm with the same lady who took us through the Info Sesh and subsequent tests last Thursday. She likes that I've been on a ship.

"Do you know Annie?"

Ahm... sorry?

"She was on a ship with her husband for like, 2 years. He's a pastor. Do you know her?"

No. But cool! But no. Does this hinder my entrance into the course?

"No no, you have done very well, and I see no reason why you shouldn't get in."

Are you kidding? I was sure my maths flunked me *sad face*...

"Why? You did really good on both tests. No worries-lah! Just wait for the email with the attached documents, fill them in, come pay the 30% and you'll start on June 29. I'll see you then!"

{insert my freaking out face here}

I shouldn't question God when He is sending me in a direction that i'm excited to go on, but have no understanding of the practical means on how i'll get there. I can't help it! I'm an independant, usually self-sufficient young single woman. I've lived out of home since I was about 15. I can look after myself. To have the control taken away makes me get nervous with sweaty palms and furrowed brow. However, I saw it when I went to the Doulos both times when he's floored me with the generous ways He gets things done because that's the direction He wants you to go. I shouldn't be surprised everytime, but I always am.

That 30% concern of mine? Gone. Why? Because someone has generously paid for it already. Someone who doesn't even know God in the personal way he should. Someone I love and who loves me and I'm so lucky to be loved by such fabulous friends and family. That someone is my Dad.

Is God rocking your 'boat' and blowing your mind? Are you following Him or are you just filling in time doing your own thing before you realise where you should be going?

Life - is TOTALLY awesome! Like I said on my FB status "God your plan must be HUGE, man!"

I'm still running around a little bit excited, a little bit terrified and a great big bit ready for this next step.

So - birthday's come and birthday's go. I personally struggle to buy things for people if I don't know what they want and if I think they have, well, pretty much everything.

But i {secretly} love getting presents. I just have this flaw where I don't get over-crazed-excited about what I get... "Oh, a piece of paper - I love it!"... "Oh, a new house - I love it!". Clearly I've never received either of those as actual gifts.

So - since my birthday is coming along soon, I thought I would just give some thoughts on things I would like to get my mits on...

Baby-G White. I've had a secret love for Baby-G watches since I bought my first Girlfriend magazine over a decade ago. They have style, class, and most of all they are fairly durable and can go anywhere. Not to mention look great.

Skullcandy Headphones. How awesome are they? So green, so funky, so foldable, so awesome.

I don't even know if they would fit my uber buff calves, but they look very cool. But warm for winter. But cool. The left ones I cant remember where I saw them... the right are Novo Baldwin's. Still, cool.

Sounds to drive to - I love Foo Fighters, and despite knowing almost all the lyrics on this album, I don't have their music in my collection. This is weird. I have a big range of music, and no Foo Fighters. Weird.

... and the following is going to be open and honest - incase this is unusual. You've had the heads up now.

Deep breath in. Exhale.

The past weekend has left me feeling like there is a part of me that is broken; a component has malfunctioned; I seem to have blown a gasket or a radiator hose or timing belt; a link in the chain of my created self has weakend.

One month ago I got gastro. Well, atleast I thought at the time that it was gastro. It was the full throttle story which, I will spare you the details - not because you can't handle it but because I don't want to share that much of myself with you... I mean, really, you appreciate this moment and thought of mine... oh yes you do...

I also got that dreaded delivery service arriving with my gift that I get without having signed up to any subscription service which comes once a month to the exact date it arrives... and yes that was my lame version way of saying something else. Lame Delivery Service Gift is what it shall be known as here. Elsewhere it is known as many things like Aunt Murtle's Curse or The Crimson Tide. And if by now you STILL don't understand... perhaps you can just miss this post altogether and come again next time you see i've written something because this is clearly too advanced for you... or you are male. No offence either way.

So - tying those two paragraphs together would have an unfortunate situation, you would agree. Lets add another statement to the mix...

This happened again one month later. On the weekend just gone.

Now, that has gone from an unfortunate situation and has been upgraded to a slightly unusual circumstance. Same situation, repeated. Gastro + Lame Delivery Service Gift. Twice. I don't think I can make that same statement any other way to be any clearer.

It was only Saturday, after the events I couldn't stomach to mention that happened on Friday, that the thought really clicked into my head, and the question was posed in my mind... "is this going to happen EVERY time?". I don't know anyone who has this sort of reaction to getting their Lame Delivery Service Gift. I am already one of the small population of receivers who get Lame Delivery Service Gift's who also get migraines with aura's [a visual disturbance which causes me to be visually impaired for a period of time] on the irregular occasion. I also can have extreme pain when receiving the Lame Delivery Service Gift irregularly, too. But, the idea that a couple of days before the delivery date, I get gastro-like Symptoms as a pre-present present... this does not rock my boat {no pun intended, Logos Hopies}...

So - where has this lead me to be right now? I'm going to see a doctor soon and ask a few questions. Basically, I want to try ways of avoiding this from happening, what could be causing this new reaction, if it will likely happen again, and if I will have to "book in advance" RDO's at work [boo!!!].

It scares me. Just a small bit. Its not fun and I can think of many better ways of spending my rostered days off [RDO's]!!

If you can, if you are able to, but mostly if you want to - please pray for me for this!! I'll very much appreciate your prayers!

**Update**The Doctor today said that this is all a reaction to the hormone change in the body, it could've been brought on by the chemical change being different [perhaps my body thinks being 26] and that unfortunately, there is basically nothing that can be done to prevent it. She prescribed me some anti-nausea drugs and hydralyte to have with me when I get 'close' to that delivery date. And i have to count and predict when I think the next bout might happen and trial to see if this happens again. And that's it for now. We'll re-asses if it continues to happen for some months... *sigh*

I have a love of reading a good read. The kind you can't stop yourself from reading when you have a brief moment in your day. I love the bah-ha laugh outloud ones, the crime scene ones, and the ones that make you feel all warm inside. But there is still the favourite read - the personal fly-on-the-wall look into someones [real] life. In the blogsphere, sometimes this starts at the very end of the story and you have to work your way backwards...

Derek K Miller caught my attention by the opening line of his last post on his blog Penmachine:

"Here it is. I'm dead, and this is my last post to my blog."

Of course, nosey-parker me had to actually find out what this all meant. I don't even remember how i got to his page in the first place 6 days ago - but I have been reading backwards ever since. The way he writes is amazing and in its tell-all way its honest, true and relational. And I couldn't imagine what he went through while keeping his charm in his writing.

Infact, after just writing that bit above, I realise I have a bit of a 'thing' for certain blogs dealing with the loss of loved ones. There is a girl I know, "K", who as a newlywed lost her young husband - and to read the daily challenge for her to get through every small step of life captivated my heart and my blog reading. Prior to that, I was addicted to a young mum Lauren in America who blogged of her tale of going through life with a newborn baby, Jack, after her young husband unexpectedly died [well, there's not many tales of a bereavement being expected I guess].

So why do I enjoy [note, the use of the word 'enjoy' does not imply anything other than being captivated] these reads so much? Perhaps for me it is because I have not experienced such a loss that these experiences catch my attention. Perhaps its because I find human behaviour interesting to observe. Perhaps also its because I just care - despite not even knowing most of these people.

What blogs appeal to you - and why? Do you have a similar obsession with reading similar blogs??

I wish punching people in the face didn't hurt - however - truly I am glad it does, because it prevents me from punching someone in the face... if that makes sense...

Surely in December last year I mentioned that I was involved in a minor car accident... *checks*... no apparently not. Maybe it was wise it was not mentioned as it was still being dealt with through the insurance people, and I'm sure it wouldn't have helped my cause by being 'discovered' telling-all to the cyber-verse... of you... and you and you...

the short of it was:
December 2, 2010. I was driving, mid afternoon on a thursday, heading to the usual Kids Club [HYPE] meet. Approaching traffic lights, I decided to move from the right hand lane into the left hand lane - no worries. As i was getting closer to the cars ahead of me, the sun came out from behind the trees, I sneezed. my feet came off the pedals, I realised I was still approaching the cars so I went to break and... bang. Imagine my 4WD with bullbar hitting the Ford Territory ahead of me... who then hit the Mazda Bubble ahead of him. Thank GOD no one ended up in the middle of the oncoming traffic, and everyone was mostly okay. I got a sprained ankle, the dude I hit had a sore neck.

It was scary and frightening and I felt terrible for what happened, I even appologised, but it was an accident, and sadly like I've experienced, it really does 'just' happen.

Today, as you are aware, its now the end of April. And here is where my frustration has exposed itself. One of the other parties involved in the accident has now decided to claim medical expenses on my behalf. I don't know why its taken so long, because I expected to be notified about this in the Dec-Jan period. I can't say they are wrong for it only being now that its coming out, but its certainly bad timing. The dude i spoke with today said that it could be just the cost of the doctor visit - up to $300AU. Why anyone is claiming the cost of a doctor visit if there wasn't anything wrong beats me - I also had to see a doctor. Okay, now I'm just getting annoyed and a bit fiesty... Reject that last thought.

I am sorry today is your lucky day that you get an update from me and its utter crap. Lucky you! Want more interesting news that's far from interesting? My work has wonderfully rostered me on the past public holidays because they love me [its true, I actually asked why], and the past public holidays I've managed to get some freak illness. The first one - a month ago - I got this viral-flu going around at the moment. Its like the flu - but so much worse. You can't shake it, you can't take anything for it except to make the symptoms less severe. You just have to wait it out. Straight after that I had a week off - so there goes the money for that month. Then we have our 5-day Easter/ANZAC holiday weekend. Brilliant! I have the first half off minus a couple of hours, then work about 17hrs on PH rates on the Mon-Tues!! Wrong. I get gastro Sunday night. GASTRO. Working Monday or Tuesday did not happen. Followed by today - wednesday - my DAY OFF...

I am so glad God has blessed me with a sense of humour and a money-to-share Dad... I better have my beggers story ready for when he gets here...

Hey, so you there on the other side of this screen... you have a ripper awesome day. Really! NO, really! Go out, see the sun [if it exists in your part of the world] have an ice-cream and be amused by other people. I'd really love you to do that...!!!

If you are a facebooker, you may have seen one of my latest status updates depicting the current funk I'm in. For those of you playing at home who have not allowed yourself that great time-water of a blessing, I'll post it here... from Monday...

I walked into the Doctors office and said "Hi. I have a middle ear infection, a throat infection, a sinus infection connecting both the throat and ear infections, a combination of the flu and/or this viral thing going around and... i'm on the mend." He said "My thoughts exactly. That's $25 and you're on your way"

I actually wrote that in all sincerity, minus a few additions to make it a little more interesting to read - however it did seem to come out in a bit of a "Did I tell you the joke about..." kinda way.

So to clarify straight away - i wasn't charged for the visit - score! I checked with the Doc, and even looked at the receptionists as I was leaving expecting them to run me down for not paying for my visit. But i did go in to my appointment and explain my symptoms, my thoughts, he did his big check over and agreed with me, said there was nothing more that he could suggest I do other than what I have already been doing, and to have a couple of days off to rest. I didn't need a sick certificate for those as I was already having 2 days off from work, and he couldn't 'back-pay' sick certificates for the days that have already been taken off, of course.

So then I went and bought a "get better soon" present for myself. Well why not? I finally earn good money, and I could spend it on stuff that means nothing, so how about putting it towards something I actually would love?

I bought myself a very sexy black acoustic guitar, and I'm sure I pretty much instantly felt better than I did before I walked into the music store. I lah-lah-lah-love it.

My next purchase is a bike [tredly, cycle, push bike, bicycle], but I have been saving up for this purchase because of course it would be more expensive to fork out money for all the fiddly stuff like a helmet, bottle, bottle cage, lights, and the bike itself. I went and looked at two bikes on Sunday, the first was more expensive and was like a motorbike without the motor it had that many fang-dangled fancy things. Who needs their handlebars to be able to tilt up and down? Suspension in the seat would be appreciated for the rough spots I'm sure. And suspension on the handlebars too. Disc breaks? Mud guard would be nice for the wetter seasons. Why don't they add a odometer so I know how many kilometres I've travelled between services, and a speedometer to inform me know how fast I'm travelling while I'm speeding down the main roads, because the last thing I'd want is to get pulled over for travelling too fast... on my bike.

To surmise this post, I will conclude that I am about to take on a bit of a road trip with my housemate, Mel next week. She's leaving. On a jet plane. Don't know when she'll be back again. Moving to "the Motherland" for the wedding of Prince Willburger and Kate. Personal Invite by the Queen, or so her farewell invite implied.

Its been a bit full on around here. Hope you are laughing your way to the bank [and imagine how rich we could be if we earned money everytime we laughed!!]...