The Spoken Word

CURRENTS:Tidbits to use and amuse

July 21, 1986

``It`s not infrequently that they`ll get calls from people who have had seizures, which to me would be a terribly frightening sign that you have a problem. And what they`re asking for is not treatment, but trying to decide, can they get by with a lesser dose? Or, if they only smoke on weekends, are they likely to have trouble?`` -- Dr. Donald Ian Macdonald, head of the Alcohol, Drug Abuse and Mental Health Administration, during a news briefing on cocaine.

LET `EM EAT RATS

First Gummi Bears. Then Gummy Worms, Gummy Dolphins and Gummy Coke bottles! Where will it end?

You will no doubt be pleased to know that the latest item in the gummy candy craze is Gummy Pet Rats.

Honest. These 9-inch gelatin rodents are from Goelitz Confectionary and come in cherry, orange, licorice, marshmallow and bubblegum flavors. Buy them nationwide in candy stores. Or order a Rat Pat package of 24 for just $36 from Goelitz Candy, 2400 N. Watney Way, Fairfield, Calif., 94533.

TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE

The wild side of Los Angeles, that is. And in the footsteps of Philip Marlow, private eye.

What you need is a map to lead the way.

And now there is one. The Raymond Chandler Mystery Map is a guide to the places immortalized in the distinct prose of leading Los Angeles literary figure, Raymond Chandler.

The cover is classic 1940s pulp magazine style -- a man sits smoking a cigarette, wearing a fedora. Before him lies the body of a woman in a hiked-up slip. An open bottle of booze sits nearby.

The map highlights such spots as the Marlowe Hollywood apartment, Florians, the south central Los Angeles bar that figures in Farewell, My Lovely, and Terry Lennox`s apartment in The Long Goodbye.

The map was created by Molly Maquire, with business partner Aaron Silverman, who traced Chandler`s routes as a weekend hobby. So far 7,000 copies have sold at $4.95 apiece under the auspices of Aaron Blake Publishers.

More maps to come? A Hemingway world map, a Jane Austen southern England map and a John Steinbeck U.S. map.

TRENDWATCH

Sales of home computers reached almost 5 million units in 1983. Two years later, the number had dropped to 3.2 million. When sales were peaking, most buyers cited entertainment or educational reasons for their purchases. Now, it seems, more people are interested in home computers for business reasons.

About 60 percent of new owners say they bought the machines to do office work or for a home-based company. Many people purchase home computers that are compatible with their office models, and some companies reimburse their employees for part of the cost of the equipment.

Tax breaks for purchases, small at present, soon may be eliminated but probably won`t deter interest in equipping the home office with a sophisticated yet affordable computer. But until the price drops significantly, sales of home computers are not likely to rise to former levels.

DROP THAT CUPCAKE!

Here, from Health magazine, are some things to do instead of eating. And some sure-fire ways to keep you firmly on the diet track.

1. Pick a fight with your lover. If it gets personal enough, you lose your appetite.

2. Inspect the crusty dirt behind your refrigerator and try to guess what food it was originally.

3. Go see your butcher and ask him to show you what 10 pounds of fat looks like.

4. Stand outside a Pizza Hut and try to guess the average weight of its patrons.

5. Play with your dog, take a good whiff of his breath. Repeat three times a day, before meals.

6. Curl up with the ideal weight charts put out by insurance companies.

7. Make a list of famous people who have choked to death on food.

8. Have a tooth filled. Have Novocain so your lips will be out of action for a few hours.

9. Take your thigh and upper arm measurements. Compare them with those of model Jerry Hall.

10. Exercise in some way you find pleasant, perhaps by enlisting your partner`s participation in a strenuous sex act.

ITSY-BITSY BILLFOLD

Since the dollar has been shrinking these past few years, a company in California (where else?) figured it only makes cents (yuk-yuk) that wallets shrink as well. So it proudly introduces the Super Slim Wallet, which is (-inch thick and weighs less than half an ounce.

The leather wallet, which sells for $10 and is available in five colors, holds six credit cards, a driver`s license and 18 bills of currency. That leaves no room for pictures of the family, but think how tough this makes it for pickpockets. Plus, no more unsightly wallet marks on your jeans.

This wallet is so small it probably won`t be seen in stores, so don`t bother looking. It`s only available direct from the maker, CJM Products, 8562 Larthorn Drive, Huntington Beach, Calif. 92646.

ACEING IT IN THE CLASSROOM

It`s not how long you study that counts. It`s how often you attend class and where you sit when you get there, according to a University of Michigan study.