tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44071396667423136532018-03-06T03:41:34.902-08:00stories of the intoxicated youth.brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-45001301010435001952009-05-29T16:32:00.000-07:002009-05-29T17:04:55.795-07:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SiB4DWuFKkI/AAAAAAAAABw/jIso7Jo2qNI/s1600-h/ajbrittany.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341401157095205442" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SiB4DWuFKkI/AAAAAAAAABw/jIso7Jo2qNI/s320/ajbrittany.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>oh camping.</div><br /><br /><div>when i was young it meant that i got to stay up past dark</div><br /><br /><div>and hang out with my family</div><br /><br /><div>for a week or more.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>now it means going up <em>after </em>dark,</div><br /><br /><div>with a bunch of friends,</div><br /><br /><div>and drinking until we puke.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>this makes for far more interesting stories,</div><br /><br /><div>at the least.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>people seem to fall quite a bit when they are running around,</div><br /><br /><div>intoxicated,</div><br /><br /><div>with very little light.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>one of my friends is a very big guy,</div><br /><br /><div>and he was running around the camp fire,</div><br /><br /><div>laughing like a little girl,</div><br /><br /><div>when he hit a pile of empty cans,</div><br /><br /><div>and went face first into the dirt.</div><br /><br /><div>big boys make quite the impact when they hit the ground,</div><br /><br /><div>we still wont let him live that one down.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">belia</span> had a bag of chips</div><br /><br /><div>and was trying to keep them away from the big guy from above,</div><br /><br /><div>and she started walking backwards,</div><br /><br /><div>hit a log,</div><br /><br /><div>a fell backwards.</div><br /><br /><div>one <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">step</span> and that girl fell.</div><br /><br /><div>funny thing was,</div><br /><br /><div>she had just started drinking.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>when <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">belia</span> and i bonfire up in the mountains,</div><br /><br /><div>we dance,</div><br /><br /><div>a lot.</div><br /><br /><div>well we always dance,</div><br /><br /><div>but its even worse up in the mountains.</div><br /><br /><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">belia</span> is a lot smaller than me,</div><br /><br /><div>so we seem to think its a great idea </div><br /><br /><div>for me to pick her up and dance.</div><br /><br /><div>just about every time i either drop her,</div><br /><br /><div>or we both fall.</div><br /><br /><div>funny thing is,</div><br /><br /><div>we never realized that it was a bad idea.</div><br /><br /><div>and we still continue to do it.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>we all know girls have to pee when we are camping,</div><br /><br /><div>its not like we just hold it in.</div><br /><br /><div>well just about every girl that we go camping with</div><br /><br /><div>has been so drunk</div><br /><br /><div>tat when they are peeing,</div><br /><br /><div>they just fall right over,</div><br /><br /><div>now let me tell you,</div><br /><br /><div>that can be quite the mess.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>that was a lot of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">mumbo</span> jumbo in one blog.</div><br /><br /><div>but camping can be a dangerous thing.</div><br /><br /><div>and there is just so much to cover.</div><br /><br /><div></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-9057328319847863742009-05-07T20:58:00.000-07:002009-05-07T21:43:28.469-07:00intoxication urination part two.<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgO4FKPV_KI/AAAAAAAAABo/CEJhcjvaYSY/s1600-h/peeing.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333308782524365986" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgO4FKPV_KI/AAAAAAAAABo/CEJhcjvaYSY/s320/peeing.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>well i cant just pick on the boys.</div><br /><div>i have to tell some stories about the girls too.</div><br /><div>i definitely have to leave the names completely out of these ones.</div><br /><div>because they WILL kill me.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>we were throwing a party for a friend of ours that just came back from the marines.</div><br /><div>and everyone was beyond drunk.</div><br /><div>it was time to leave and i found my friend passed out in the owners parents bed.</div><br /><div>when i finally got her up she admitted something pretty weird.</div><br /><div>that she had peed on the floor,</div><br /><div>right next to the bed.</div><br /><div>and i checked,</div><br /><div>she had!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>another time i lived with a bunch of roommates.</div><br /><div>there was one roommate who wasn't well liked.</div><br /><div>we were having a big party and he was pissing everybody off.</div><br /><div>so two girls,</div><br /><div>went into his room,</div><br /><div>locked the door,</div><br /><div>and peed in the corner of his room.</div><br /><div>messed up,</div><br /><div>i know!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>i remember one time we were having a girls night.</div><br /><div>and between five girls we went through a bunch of bitch beer</div><br /><div>and a half gallon of vodka.</div><br /><div>i remember being inside and walking into the kitchen.</div><br /><div>and their was our friend peeing on the kitchen floor!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>ok so one more and i will call it good.</div><br /><div>my girls and i were plannin a big party while my grandparents were out of town.</div><br /><div>so the friday right before we all stayed at the house</div><br /><div>and basically got it party ready.</div><br /><div>we drank way too much but continued cleaning.</div><br /><div>then we found one of our friends,</div><br /><div>standing on the counter,</div><br /><div>reaching into the dishwasher,</div><br /><div>pulling out dishes,</div><br /><div>and putting them away,</div><br /><div>naked!</div><br /><div>later we caught her peeing on the kitchen floor,</div><br /><div>but dont worry,</div><br /><div>she cleaned it up.</div><br /><div>by scooting around in it.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>im surrounded by idiots!!</div><br /><div></div><div> </div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-15463303502506687292009-05-06T11:46:00.001-07:002009-05-06T12:57:38.466-07:00intoxication urination.<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHkMHDSd9I/AAAAAAAAABg/i_gLcMdpx0U/s1600-h/pee.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332794330485782482" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHkMHDSd9I/AAAAAAAAABg/i_gLcMdpx0U/s320/pee.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>i have a couple stories for you that are hilarious,</div><br /><div>a little gross but that cant be helped.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>have you ever notice how drunk people see to have issues controlling their bladder?</div><br /><div>a few of my guy friends seem to sleep walk while they are drunk,</div><br /><div>and well pee in places that just aren't bathrooms.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>when i was a younger i had a party while my dad was out of town.</div><br /><div>everyone just passed out on the couches and floor,</div><br /><div>and basically wherever there was space.</div><br /><div>in the middle of the night we woke up</div><br /><div>because a friend was getting up.</div><br /><div>he then walked into my kitchen,</div><br /><div>and began peeing on my kitchen counter.</div><br /><div>and all over my stove!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>a bunch of us were partying at alans* house,</div><br /><div>and mae* passed out on the couch. </div><br /><div>sometime in the middle of the night rod* "woke up",</div><br /><div>walked over to the couch,</div><br /><div>and peed on mae!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>during last summer we were at alan's apartment quite a bit,</div><br /><div>his roommates friend was always over.</div><br /><div>he was pretty weird and nobody really liked him.</div><br /><div>every night he slept on the same couch.</div><br /><div>and every morning he woke up,</div><br /><div>and had peed his pants!</div><br /><div>he tried to say it was beer.</div><br /><div>every morning,</div><br /><div>all summer.</div><br /><div>he either had a bladder problem,</div><br /><div>or he fell asleep with a beer in pants,</div><br /><div>every night.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>ah! im surrounded by idiots.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:78%;">*all names have been changed</span></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-18678846674974786402009-05-06T11:07:00.000-07:002009-05-06T11:44:45.550-07:00mrs. officer.<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHX4pH7yuI/AAAAAAAAABY/nz7uX2iQBeQ/s1600-h/lady+cop.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332780801895156450" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHX4pH7yuI/AAAAAAAAABY/nz7uX2iQBeQ/s320/lady+cop.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>we recently threw a huge party for James*, a friend of ours.</div><br /><div>it was his birthday party,</div><br /><div>and it ended up having 100+ people.</div><br /><div>so of course,</div><br /><div>the police showed up.</div><br /><div>since there were minors in the house we didnt let them in.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>massive amounts of alcohol makes the guys in my life stupid.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>there was a woman officer standing outside of our backdoor.</div><br /><div>and the birthday boy found it necessary to stand at the back door,</div><br /><div>and sing, very loudly.</div><br /><div>we all had to crack up when the words coming out of his mouth</div><br /><div>were the lyrics to mrs officer by lil wayne.</div><br /><div>in case you dont know the lyrics</div><br /><div>here are a few.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br /><p align="center">"Doin a buck in the latest drop. I got stopped by a lady cop. She got me<br />thinking I can date a cop. Cause her uniform pants are so tight. She read me my<br />rights, She put me in the car, she cut off all the lights, She said I had the<br />right to remain silent. Now I got her hollering sounding like a siren."</p><br /><p align="left"></p><br /><p>it was definately my favorite drunk singing experience.</p><p>im surrounded by idiots.</p><span style="font-size:78%;">*all names have been changed<br /></span><blockquote><br /><p></p></blockquote><br /><blockquote></blockquote></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-36147623564870769412009-05-06T09:55:00.000-07:002009-05-06T11:35:22.508-07:00age mix-up.<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHFgNSHfMI/AAAAAAAAABQ/GZOMxqnn4as/s1600-h/singing.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332760590895512770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHFgNSHfMI/AAAAAAAAABQ/GZOMxqnn4as/s320/singing.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>i had been drinking with Belia* and a few friends,</div><br /><div>Alan* agreed to drive us home,</div><br /><div>because there was no way in hell we could drive.</div><br /><div>we took it upon ourselves to sing/scream at the top of our lungs,</div><br /><div>because the voice of the intoxicated is a beautiful one,</div><br /><div>at least to the person singing. : ]</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>we managed to distract him so much,</div><br /><div>with our beautiful voices,</div><br /><div>im sure,</div><br /><div>that Alan was pulled over.</div><br /><div>when asked why he was swerving he told the cop</div><br /><div>that we had been singing at the top of our lungs,</div><br /><div>and he was just trying to get us home safe.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>the cop then asked Belia,</div><br /><div>who was in the front seat,</div><br /><div>how old she was.</div><br /><div>she just sat there for about 90 seconds,</div><br /><div>then finally said</div><br /><div>"im sixteen."</div><br /><div>now let me just tell you,</div><br /><div>we were seventeen at the time.</div><br /><div>so drunk&amp;confused,</div><br /><div>i sort of stumbled over my words,</div><br /><div>and said "im seventeen."</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>it was like the lightbulb turned on,</div><br /><div>Belia says, quite loudly,</div><br /><div>"oh yeah! im seventeen too!"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>the cop just gave Alan all his information back,</div><br /><div>and said get these girls home safe.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>maybe Belias stupidity was in our favor that time.</div><div></div><div></div><div>i am surrounded by idiots.</div><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">*all names have been changed<br /></span><div></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-18619979653336944562009-05-06T01:35:00.000-07:002009-05-06T09:54:22.815-07:00introductions.<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHAg5_BkSI/AAAAAAAAABA/dOyoaywXTZ8/s1600-h/reintroduction-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332755105336889634" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHAg5_BkSI/AAAAAAAAABA/dOyoaywXTZ8/s320/reintroduction-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgFf-wq69aI/AAAAAAAAAA4/eX_uC3jntj8/s1600-h/reintroduction-1.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>why is it that introductions become harder,</strong></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>and more frequent the more the alcohol flows?</strong></span><br />a good friend of mine, Belia*,<br />is a frequent offender of the re-introduction.<br />the more she drinks,<br />the more she walks up to you,<br />tells you her name,<br />and asks you yours.<br />it does not matter how many times you have told her,<br />or how many years you have known her,<br />she WILL ask.<br />at first we just thought this was an annoying habit,<br />and then we realized we were right.<br />as the liquid courage flows down her throat,<br />the intelligence flows right out on a temporary vacation. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div><br />i am sure that we have all experienced flubbed introductions.<br />but my friend Mae* outdid herself.<br />we were at a house party,<br />and we didn't know anyone besides the owner.<br />he told us to go introduce ourselves to people,<br />and as he did a girl walked into the room,<br />he said "like Kat, she is a cool girl."<br />so Mae turned to the girl,<br />made an awkward wave,<br />and said "hi, i'm Kat."<br />all of us,<br />including Kat,<br />just gave Mae a weird look.<br />Kat walked off,<br />and we all busted up laughing.<br />apparently when she drinks,<br />she forgets her name.<br /><br /><br />i am surrounded by idiots.<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:78%;">*all names have been changed.</span></em></div></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4407139666742313653.post-38635558819597628682009-05-06T00:43:00.000-07:002009-05-06T09:55:16.390-07:00welcome to my world.<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHA6bxeTzI/AAAAAAAAABI/h5ldVCbQiAQ/s1600-h/birthdayparty-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332755543903588146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgHA6bxeTzI/AAAAAAAAABI/h5ldVCbQiAQ/s320/birthdayparty-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d8XB4JHgDcA/SgFdZJkEunI/AAAAAAAAAAw/oksvmOT59qA/s1600-h/birthdayparty-1.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div align="left"><strong>welcome to my world.</strong></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><em>it is full of idiots.</em></div><br /><br /><div align="left"><em></em></div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">i love these idiots.</div><br /><br /><div align="left">(well most of them.)</div><br /><br /><div align="left">&amp;i have a feeling after you hear some of their stories,</div><br /><br /><div align="left">your going to love them too.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">i watch the lives of my friends.</div><br /><br /><div align="left">as well as my life.</div><br /><br /><div align="left">&amp;i cant help but think that sometimes,</div><br /><br /><div align="left">they would make the perfect reality shows.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">im sure you can tell what most of the stories are going to be about.</div><br /><br /><div align="left">drunken "adventures"</div><br /><br /><div align="left">or mis-adventures in most cases.</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">you know those stories your friends tell you?</div><br /><br /><div align="left">and make you promise not to tell anyone?</div><br /><br /><div align="left">because they would be just too damn embarrassing?</div><br /><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><br /><div align="left">those are the ones i want to share with you.</div><br /><br /><div align="center"></div></div>brazen.b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11116757432509906042noreply@blogger.com0