Tramlines

Venus shows her ‘range’

Venus Williams is many things to many people. To some, she's a fashion designer and aficionado of flesh-coloured knickers. To others, she's an interior designer and best-selling author.

The elder Williams is also a part-owner of the Miami Dolphins NFL franchise, and has been known to play tennis every once in a while.

However, it's recently come to Tramlines's attention that Venus has been keeping another talent a secret... until now.

Serena's big sister has been caught on tape indulging in what can best be described as 'energetic karaoke' on a cruise liner, shaking her thing to the song 'You Wouldn't Believe' by 311.

Judge Venus's enthusiastic rendition for yourselves:

Warning! The following video is not suitable for children, adults, animals, vegetables or minerals. Enjoy.

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

WINNER: Andy Roddick gets the Tweet of the Week gong this week for this little beauty: '"Mr roddick my mom wants your autograph. You're her 3rd favorite player". From a 9 year old at breakfast... Lie to me kid!!!'

RUNNER-UP: Laura Robson may have missed out on Tweet of the Week, but if there was a 'Don't Try This at Home' award, she'd be a shoo-in: 'I managed to fit into a washing machine. The fact that I'm proud of myself shows just how immature I am.'

WOODEN SPOON: Tramlines understands that Ivo Karlovic was rather chuffed with himself after his 7-6 6-7 6-2 victory over David Ferrer at Indian Wells, but that's no excuse for this flagrant piece of Twitter-based gloating: 'I was inspired today.' Show-off.

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RANKINGS

There's no change at the top of the rankings this week - we are in the middle of a major tournament after all - but all eyes are firmly fixed on the top three men regardless. Rafael Nadal remains proudly atop the chasing pack with a whopping 12,390 points, but the gap between second-placed Roger Federer and third-placed Novak Djokovic is a mere 165. Therefore, all Djokovic has to do to move up to second in the rankings is finish ahead of Federer at the Indian Wells Masters this week - adding yet more spice to the potential semi-final clash between the two.

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A-BOG v A-BOG

Tramlines was a little harsh on A-Bog (GB) last week - deducting him a point for his Davis Cup snub - and, just like a 27-year-old, American, tennis-playing version of Dick Dastardly, A-Bog (US) has stolen a march on his bitterest rival.

A-Bog (GB) has actually had a relatively successful week. The British number six reached the second round of the prestigious(?) Bath Futures tournament on Monday, thrashing British number four Josh Milton 6-1 6-3.

To put A-Bog's achievement into context, it should be noted that Milton is a whole 14 places higher than Belgrade-born A-Bog in the world rankings. At 358.

However, A-Bog (GB)'s successful return from injury doesn't quite merit him gaining a point in the world famous A-Bog v A-Bog, as A-Bog (US) has been rather busy making waves on the other side of the Atlantic!

A-Bog (US) notched up two wins to qualify for Indian Wells - 6-0 6-2 against Stefano Ianni in the first round of qualifying and 6-4 1-6 6-3 against Frank Dancevic in the second - before falling to Lithuanian wildcard Richard Berankis in three sets in the first round of the main draw.

That's two wins to one in favour of A-Bog (US), and a well-earned point.

Standings: A-Bog (US) 22-13 A-Bog (GB) (Season standings: 2-1)

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CAPTION COMPETITION:

It's the moment you've all been waiting for - the Tramlines caption competition! The winner gets the chance (should they so wish) to write their very own piece for this blog, so get your thinking caps on and break out those quills.

Manchester City were the last English champions to be relegated the very next season, going down in 1938 despite finishing the season as top scorers. The Foxes, just a few months after sensationally lifting the Premier League trophy, are now just two points above the relegation zone. It couldn’t really happen, could it? Perhaps the ghost of relegated champions past will make Leicester change their ways. Maybe they’ll give Bob Cratchit Christmas Day off after all. More »