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It seems as though this particular blend of coffee contains some semblance of strength. As least, that's what this bag of F**king Strong Coffee implies. It's a powerful blend of Brazilian and Honduran Arabica coffee with a dark, syrupy body that has hints of cocoa, licorice, and "a potent dose of delicious caffeine-laden euphoria." How strong is this coffee? Stronger than a grizzly bear with robot arms? Stronger than The Rock sitting on the shoulders of an elephant? Stronger than a diamond sword encased in concrete? Stronger than the unbreakable bond between a mother and her daughter? That last one got too real — just drink this f**king coffee.

Jeremy Glass likes his coffee like he likes his women: passed through the digestive tract of an Asian palm civet.