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I'll never forget sitting in my rocking chair in the darkness, holding my daughter close to me, with quiet tears streaming down my face. I realized in that moment that my faith had become paralyzed. It wasn't gone....but it was damaged.

I know but I don't know. This is the best way I can describe the profound period of doubt I experienced after my faith was challenged by a clever agnostic. I knew God existed. I knew Jesus died and was resurrected. I knew Christianity was true. But I didn't....know.

One vivid memory I have during this season is when my daughter, a toddler at the time, fell down a flight of stairs. The second her feet slipped out from under her, I cried out, "Jesus! Jesus!"

And I felt foolish.

​For the first time in my life, I felt foolish—for praying. She tumbled down the stairs and stood up without a scratch. She didn't have even one bruise to show for this incredibly scary fall. Did Jesus hear my prayer and protect her? Did I dare believe it? I felt silly for believing it. And yet I did.

Tim Keller wrote:

A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it. People who blithely go through life too busy or indifferent to ask hard questions about why they believe as they do will find themselves defenseless against either the experience of tragedy or the probing questions of a smart skeptic. A person’s faith can collapse almost overnight if she has failed over the years to listen patiently to her own doubts, which should only be discarded after long reflection.*

I realize now that one of the reasons I was so vulnerable to this intellectual attack on my faith was that I didn't doubt enough in my younger years. I simply didn't have enough antibodies.

​Whenever I heard a skeptical claim against the Bible or Christianity, I dismissed it immediately, assuming that the skeptic's eyes were simply blinded to belief, or that they "just didn't get it yet."However, as an adult—faced with what seemed to be compelling intellectual arguments—I could no longer dismiss these challenges so conveniently.

Yet by God's grace and incredible mercy toward me, my faith began to rebuild and reconstruct from ground zero. And I discovered something wonderful...many great saints in the Bible weredoubters. There is so much we can learn from them, and here are 4 quick points:

​1. We can be honest with God about our doubt.

One of the great doubter-saints was the prophet Habakkuk. When he looked around, all he saw was the rebellion, unrepentant sin, and violence of his own people, the Israelites. He began to doubt God's faithfulness to step in and put an end to all this wickedness. He cried out, "O Lord, how long shall I cry and you will not hear? Even cry out to You, "Violence!" and you will not save." (Habakkuk 1:2)

These words would make any good church girl uncomfortable. Who does Habakkuk think he is scolding God like that? And yet....God didn't smite him or chastise him or even scold him back.

He answered.

He assured Habakkuk that He would indeed deal with the sin of the Israelites, by raising up the Babylonians to bring them into captivity. This, of course, sent Habakkuk into an even more deeply layered and complicated round of doubts and questions.

Habakkuk's doubt was honest. It wasn't fueled by skepticism, immorality, or anger at God. God honored his doubt by answering him, leading to one of the most powerful statements of faith in the whole Bible, "The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills." (Habakkuk 3:19)

2. We can ask God for help with our doubt.

One day, Jesus found His disciples arguing with the religious leaders in the midst of a large crowd. When He asked what was going on, a man spoke up and said that his son was possessed by an evil spirit that not only made him mute, but would often throw him on the ground, or into fire or water, trying to kill him.

Pause.

As a parent, I cannot IMAGINE this father's anguish....the sheer exhaustion and terror of watching your precious child suffer like this since he was a little boy. Maybe this man heard of this miracle-worker from Nazareth and thought, "Maybethiswill work. Maybe this time?"

This desperate father asked Jesus to have mercy, and heal his son. Then those beautiful doubt-filled words came out: "If you can." Jesus responded by asking, "What do you mean, if I can? Anything is possible to those who believe."

Then the man prayed a prayer I have prayed many times:

I believe. Help my unbelief.

His faith wasn't perfect...but he was trying. Jesus honored his prayer and healed his son.

This man's faith was imperfect. He wasn't quite there yet...but he was sincere in asking for help, and Jesus met him where he was.

3. We can ask for evidence to back up our faith.

One of the most famous doubters in the Bible was actually more of a skeptic than a doubter. "Doubting Thomas," as he is often called, was skeptical when his friends told him that Jesus had risen from the dead. He said that unless he saw and touched the nail marks in Jesus' hands, and the wound in His side, he would not believe.

When the time came for his face to face meeting with Jesus, Jesus didn't scold him for doubting, or shame him into some kind of blind faith. Instead, He offered evidence to back up what Thomas had been told. Only after offering His hands and side to Thomas as evidence of His resurrection did He say, "Stop doubting and believe!"

Thomas' doubt was rational and cerebral. Jesus answered his intellectual doubt with evidence.

​4. It's okay to double-check our beliefs.

"Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?" These words were forged in the fires of doubt. They came from a man who had personally baptized the Son of God, witnessed the Holy Spirit descending like a dove, and heard the audible voice of God the Father. How many of us can say we had such confirmation for our faith?!

And yet....as John the Baptist sat rotting in Herod's prison cell, isolated with nothing but his own thoughts—he began to doubt. This was the deep, soul-searching doubt that can only be experienced by someone who has truly tasted and seen....someone who was filled with the Holy Spirit in his mother's womb. Someone who knows.

This is perhaps the most painful kind of doubt, because you stand to lose everything if your suspicion wins out in the end.

John sent his disciples to double check with Jesus....are you the one? Jesus didn't send John's disciples back with a reprimand for doubting. He didn't scold John for not having enough faith. Instead, He invited John's disciples to witness Him perform some miracles. Then He said,

Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen—the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.

Referencing a prophecy about Himself from Isaiah 35, Jesus not only offered evidence for John's faith (miracles), but demonstrated the fulfillment of prophecy, which John would understand. John's doubt just needed a reconfirmation, and Jesus was happy to oblige.

The next time you experience doubt—whether it's intellectual, emotional, or spiritual, whether it's a small and nagging doubt about God's character or even a deeper doubt about His actual existence—I pray these 4 points will help you work through it. It's overwhelmingly clear....God deals tenderly with honest doubters and will meet us right where we are at.
​

Believers may now and then run across such a "clever agnostic" who challenges faith with arguments against the existence of God, and there are plenty of intellectual champions for faith out there nowadays who can push back with their own arguments. That kind of thing may convince some people, but I've never been too impressed by it. I just don't think that armchair-arguing about God is a good foundation for atheism or theism, or much of anything else, really.

I guess what it comes down to is that you can't prove God exists, and I can't prove God doesn't exist. If a person wants to have faith, that's fine, but doubts are almost inevitably going to creep in because it's hard not to notice that there isn't a lot of evidence available to back up that faith. And that's really where the trouble lies, IMO.

Reply

Karla Sanders

2/27/2018 10:05:08 am

God is a being;God just is;past,present,future;God is outside of time;God created time. We can't prove God exists ( like many of the axioms of math ), but it is rational to believe God exists because of the creation itself, because of God communication to humankind, and because of the many miracles God the Father and Jesus Messiah performed, and because of the many prophecies that were foretold....especially the prophecies about the Messiah that all were fulfilled in Jesus! (Example, born of a virgin, born in Bethlehem, by his stipes you are healed-cross......)

I don't know, Karla, saying that God-belief is "rational" is a real stretch for me. I'm not even sure it isn't irrational. At best, though, it's no more rational than atheism. That is to say, I can find no reason to prefer theism to atheism. And I think the latter has a far better claim to a kind of "default" position.

As for miracles and prophecy, well, that's just more stuff for which you kinda have to have faith, as we don't have any hard evidence for it.

While I realize you've already chosen where to put your faith, there still are quite a few questions that aren't equally answerable by both theism and atheism. There are the basics, like how did it all start,where is it all going and why did all this happen in the first place?

But there are also other important questions that a rational person has to deal with. Because most (if not all) atheism presumes evolution, it has to explain why evolution would produce such a complex entity as the nuclear family and then rather randomly, it seems, now tear it apart.

A larger question, in my estimation, is that of suffering. Not that evolution doesn't "explain" it, but rather that evolution provides a far lesser place of comfort in it. Christianity redeems suffering insofar as God Himself chose to give it supreme purpose in His own death and resurrection, and also gives it subsidiary purposes in our lives, including the impetus to seek Him, the means by which our character is purified, and the context in which compassion for others can be demonstrated.

Diane, thank you for the reply. You raised a few controversial issues, and I regret I'm not much of an expert in any of them. I don't know how the nuclear family came about, for instance.

As for suffering, you're right that it's definitely very discomforting to consider. So I can maybe see why a person would want to try to make sense of it by appealing to God. But I was never able to do that, and I just don't see how the story of Christianity helps in any way to explain why people suffer.

Beautifully said Alisa! This is exactly what I needed to read today. I have been struggling with doubt lately even though I am an avid 1 Dollar Apologist. Thank you for your words of comfort and truth.

Reply

Hendrik

3/14/2018 01:24:38 am

I'm struggling a lot with doubt right now, at the moment it is regarding the ressurection. I keep asking: Did it really happen like that?

Reply

Alisa Childers

3/14/2018 09:22:08 am

Hi Hendrik. Thanks for sharing that....I've been there myself. Curious if you've ever looked at some of the historical evidence? Here is a great book to start with: https://www.amazon.com/Case-Resurrection-Jesus-Gary-Habermas-ebook/dp/B001QOGJY0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521037309&sr=8-1&keywords=resurrection+habermas

Reply

Hendrik

3/15/2018 10:29:09 am

Hi
Thank You, I have started reading the book, to be honest, I don't really believe the claim that is made in the book that there is no scientific evidence that contradicts anything in the Bible , this claim makes me question how intellectually honest the writer is and whether he can be trusted.

Hendrik

3/16/2018 11:52:56 am

Hi

Just to clarify my response, the below link shows some why I don't believe the Bible is in perfect harmony with modern science: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155154423982181&id=91142327180&_rdr