I’m my best company…

“I love myself, I think I’m grand. I go to the movies just to hold my hand” poem told to me by Jody Rosenberg..

I was having a conversation with someone not too long ago. Alright, it wasn’t a conversation so much as a “heated debate.” I was trying to explain to him that so many people are looking for people to “complete them” when truth of the matter is, I personally feel that you should be complete before you ask someone to reside in the empty space beside you. Why I have to explain this to a 30-something year old, I’ll never know. I don’t think the concept is so foreign, but obviously someone thought it was a good idea to be half a person, then go looking for the other half.

Now, no offense to those that subscribe to this train of thought, but I won’t take the time in this post to try and convince you otherwise.

In this debate, I was telling my acquaintance that I do certain things by myself. Mostly because I love my own company. (Come on, have you MET me!?) I think that taking time to be by myself is one of the best ways I can treat myself. Not everyone likes the things I like to do anyway.

After he picked his jaw up off the floor and stopped shaking his head, he said, “do things by yourself, like what?”

1. Go to the movies.

If you’ve been effin with me on Twitter, you’ll know that I am a movie F.R.E.A.K.! Now, I guess this is becoming more accepted, but for a long time the movies were seen as “date territory.” Now, the issue here is that I won’t go to the movies and see just one. Matter of fact, most of the time I won’t go to the movies unless there’s at least 3 I want to see. I will then plot and plan the order that I will watch them. Literally, I write them on a piece of paper. (see here>>>>)

I can’t explain the many positives with taking myself to the movies, but all I can say is that there’s few things better than having no one else’s hands in the popcorn bag. Nobody looks at people strange anymore. Stop waiting for James to call, take yoself to the movies.

2. Go out to eat.

Yes, I am that girl that sits at the table by myself. I people watch, and if the people aren’t interesting then I read. Yes, I read. In the middle of a restaurant. I can realize that going to a restaurant by myself might be a big step for some. Restaurants are seen as “date territory” too, so I understand. I like being the one in the room that doesn’t have to force conversation with anyone. Or even worse, SHARE!? Or even worse than that,explain why “no, you have to ask before you go in my plate.” Can I just say that my amount of issues surrounding food can fill another post. And in the words of Nick, “I ain’t got that kinda time..”

3. Going to Cultural Events.

It could be something as simple as walking the Farmer’s Market on a Saturday afternoon. (Like here>>>)

Or it could be something like going to the ballet or a play. It’s always nice to get out and do something. The ballet requires a little more “look sexy” on my part than the Farmer’s market, BUT it’s still nice to take yourself out for a date. I remember when i went and saw “STOMP!” by myself. It was nice to people watch during intermission. Not only that, but since I didn’t have to entertain anyone but myself I could chat up the guy at the wine cart. I saw “The Producers” and snuck backstage and got Alan Ruck’s autograph.

I’ve gotten my Playbill signed by the conductor of the orchestra. Not saying that you can’t do this if you had company but I think we can all agree unless it’s a bank heist, it’s easier to pull off certain activities if you’re by yourself. And if your friends are anything like mine, I don’t wanna have to sit down with Beth and Becky and talk them up because they’re too scaredy-cat to run backstage and meet the principal dancers. Ya feel me?

4. Go traveling.

I realize that this isn’t for the faint of heart. It helps if I have friends in the destination cities. I remember when my ex and I broke up, I booked a ticket to NY the next week. I wanted to get out and knew no better place to do it. Granted, I stayed with a friend so it wasn’t all that “solo,” but she was on a different time clock than mine (she went to bed at 8 in the morning and slept all day) which leads me to this next point:

4a. Go exploring.

Once I learned how to read the subway map, I WAS O.U.T.! I left a note saying I was gone, and I was GONE! I won’t fake, it’s nice to come up on something and have someone to point it out to, but that sometimes gets old very quickly. I love to explore. There’s a certain freedom in doing what you want, when you want, however you want to. “Yes,” I want a hotdog for breakfast, and “no” I didn’t have to ask anybody else. The less stress involved by the addition of someone else, the better. Not everyone understands this way of thinking, but I say youshould just give it a shot. I went to Ny, DC, (not to be confused with “Disaster In Maryland“) and Atlanta. When I left Atlanta, my friend (who I met up with while I was there) said that I had visited more places than he did, “and I live here.” Matter of fact, I had to take him to Atlantic Station. “Really homeboi? Really?”

Bredren and sistren, I hope you realize that this is in no way to trump you spending quality time with someone that sets your loins on fire. But when there’s no one around and you want to get out, there’s another option. Men, when you can’t decide between Keylolo and Bonquesha, scrap both of them (cuz they’re both drama) and go out. You’ll meet Sandra who wasn’t afraid to return the smile because you were gutsy enough to be out by yourself. I’m so serious! It happens.

I could be crazy, I’ve been called worse. But honestly, you can’t tell me that I don’t make at least “one lick of sense.” Go ahead and speak your piece. Is there something I left out? Do you do ANYTHING by yourself? Come on, you must! Do you need tips!? Because I have plenty of those!

Comments

What, don’t let me be first? Well I’m not really needing to be first, but since I am :-) Great post Nick, I too will go many places solamente, why the eff not? I ain’t scurred…movies-check, eating out-check, farmers markets, the malls, plays, whatever the eff, cause like you “I ain’t got that kind of time” to be rounding up the posse and e’rrythang all that being said, I am co-signing this post 100 %, cause truer words were never spoken ” I AM MY BEST COMPANY” FUH TRUE!

I love, love, LOVE this post!!! You’re like my personality twin! 8 times out of 10 I go to the movies solo. If I want to see something, I’m going to see it. Case closed. *note to self, see Eat, Pray, Love this week*

I definitely go to eat by myself. Don’t give a rat’s ass. And I’ll enjoy all of my food with a Coke (or ice tea) and a smile.

I’ve travled to ATL once to visit someone for part of the trip, the other part was kinda solo. I would like to go somewhere alone, but it does scare me a little…going to a foreign country alone.

Anywho, I c/s this entire post. If you don’t wanna be around yourself…who will?

I’m a total lone wolf – there are so few places I’d rather go with company than by myself. I don’t do solo movies, but that’s only because I don’t like going to the movies (I know you want to kill me now). But I’ve gone out to eat alone, go to cultural things alone, shop alone (I LOVE this) and even hit the clubs alone.

Spending time alone is food for my soul. I need it and I miss it when I don’t have it.

YES @ being your own best company. If you can’t entertain yourself, how you donna entertain other folks? I know this all too well because I have “technical only child syndrome.” Both of my sisters are 14 years older than me (one has different father than me; other has different mother than me) so of course I had to entertain myself. I credit my wild imagination to that. They were teenagers when I was a kid so I had no siblings around my age whatsoever to play with at home. My automatica solution? I came up with ways to amuse myself. And I still incorporate those values today. I go to the movies by myself often, restaurants…and I LOVE walking around the Farmer’s Market by myself. And yeah, people-watching can’t be done as effectively with someone else distracting you.

I co-sign with this post, Nickerz. I’ve always liked to do stuff solo dolo since I was a kid. Go to the mall, go to the movies, the museum, out to eat. I’m the only boy in my family so I had to do stuff by myself. I travel so much for my job that if I have to travel with a co-worker or my boss, I feel weird because that means I have to talk, and usually when I drive, I listen to music and chill. Some things you can just enjoy better by yourself because you can go at your own pace.

I have been ridin’ solo for as long as I’ve been breathing, and I must say….I still have A LOT to learn about myself! So, although at times when I’m at the mall (window shopping and all), and walk by that annoyingly cute pair playing kissy face and picking each others noses, I can’t help but stare and wish that were me….I manage to still find solace in my own company simply because self-discovery is a never-ending process. Lately I’ve been in love with life, and that requires you to actually put something into it, in order to receive anything worthwhile! People tend to stop enjoying life when they put all the focus into finding that “one” to complete them. Life completes you! You LIVING your life completes you!

Took my stubborn ass a while to learn that, but now I’m addicted (and I welcome anyone who cares to join ;)

See? This is where I need to improve…I’m used to always having people around (even though I’m technically an only child), so I’ve gotten used to going to dinner, the movies, and anywhere else with other people. I will say, I love shopping alone, only because I can get in and get out without having to wait on someone else to make their purchases. hopefully with this new leaf I’m trying to turn over, I can add “do stuff by yourself” to that list…

i love love love travellin solo. so freeing. now im usually just going south of the border, to a place where i know the language and the currency (and stores to shop in..), but it’s been an adjustment to travel WITH people.
i’ve never understood why people cant go to a resto solo. eating is a date thing? those people need more imagination.
one day.. i’ll hit a movie solo. maybe take myself to see ts3 (yes..cheekie..i still haven’t seen it). ;)
this post gets 5 jason derulos – bruahahaha….

A little late to the game but… I am SO with you! It’s always nice to have company, but I also get a kick out of taking off for parts unknown on my own — I’ve been to Provincetown (in mid-winter, when there’s only locals about) and stayed at an inn on the P’town Bay… and LOVED it. I’ve also gone to visit friends in LA and been thrilled to stay in a hotel for part of the time, just so that I’d have autonomy and be able to come and go as I pleased. I live in “the big city”, and I don’t find it nearly as anathema to be the lone diner in a restaurant or patron at a movie anymore. Sure, I’m sure some folks might give it the side-eye; but I never think to pay attention to ‘em, so it really doesn’t matter! ;-)

i am a fan of doing things on my own simply because i want to enjoy my company. now, there are plenty of times when id rather be out with my friends, and there are certain movies i would prefer to see in the company of others. but when it boils down to it, ill ride out solo if no one else is willing to roll. as i get older, ive gotten more spontaneous, so im much more likely to grab dinner or a movie on my own. tho, ill say i havent traveled by myself (where i wasnt meeting some one else in the destination city) and really have no desire to. but other than that? im down to make it a me, myself, and i outing–cuz i loves gemmie soooo much!! *hugs self*