When “Fake it till you make it” Doesn’t Work

Actually, it’s more like “Fake it till they find out you’re full of BS” or “Fake it till they find out that you actually have no goals in life”.

Yes, I teach Men and Women how to be more confident, and urge them to try certain body language techniques that sometimes feel awkward and unnatural, but they work. Feeling great and comfortable in your own skin is one thing – but being Unhappy and lacking direction in your life is a completely different monster.

This topic has been coming up so much lately that I feel the urge to talk about it.

Guys – this is absolutely directed at you. If you don’t know what you’re doing with your life, if you have no ambition, no passion, no goals and drive – no woman will ever Respect you. A man HAS to, HAS TO have some direction and drive in order for us to even take him seriously. No – he doesn’t have to be super rich and already achieve his goals in order for women to respect him and be attracted to him. BUT! He has to be working daily towards those goals.

I’ve come across so many guys recently who are really great, sweet, good-looking guys, but they lack something. They came to me because they needed some help with dating. With women. With their confidence around women. After talking to them for 5 mins, I can’t help myself but ask “What are you doing with your life? What’s your purpose?” only to get a blank stare, or a defeated look on their face, or a list of excuses for why they are where they are.

Learning how to become more confident, being able to talk to pretty women, or getting a girlfriend isn’t going to fix you. The reason you’re not confident is because you’re lost. You haven’t spent enough time with yourself to figure out who you are as an individual. You haven’t figured out what it is that makes you happy. And yes… we’ve all heard this one – You can’t make someone else happy if you’re not happy yourself.

You’re insecure because you’re settling in life. You know this. You’re living someone else’s life and are allowing yourself to live on autopilot. No one individual is going to fix you. They may entertain you for a few weeks, tops, but the reality still remains. You can’t keep running from one social outing to the next, from one date to the next, waiting for something life-changing to occur.

Face the truth. Spend some time accepting where you are in life. It’s OK. Really. Everyone starts at square 1. 0, actually. But you have to accept it. Stop living in denial and hoping for some miracle to happen or keep trying to convince yourself to learn to like your life. and Stop with the “people should accept me for me”. They won’t – because it’s BS. It’s not you. It’s a zombie version of you who’s barely trying at this life thing. You’re not fooling anyone.

So – take a look at that mirror and ask yourself what you want. Accept where you, and decide where you want to go. Make a plan and start working on it. Every single freaking day. Nothing happens overnight. Anything worthwhile in life requires dedication, effort, and persistence.

Once you figure out WHO you are and WHERE you’re going – you’ll be beaming with a new energy about you. That excitement of the vision and the self-acceptance and self-love can’t be faked. Truly.

Do that – then come talk to me about fine-tuning your personal presentation and how to understand the opposite sex.

Cheers!

~M

marina

About Marina Lavochin

Why I’m obsessed with James Bond…

Growing up in Russia and in a religious family I had very limited access to tv or movies. My dad loved the James Bond movies and a few other series like Crocodile Dundee and Harrison Ford. James Bond was my favorite.

He’s always in control, very simple classic attire, doesn’t say much but speaks with purpose, and has a mission that no woman can get in the way of.