How to Up The Ante in The Bedroom With Your Partner

Wait. New sex moves for a crazier, hotter, more orgasmic time in bed? Sign us up. Please, and thank you!

Not to knock your game down, but sometimes the go-to routine (while mostly effective) can get a bit, well, boring. That's OK. It happens in every relationship at one point or another. Why else would the internet be swarming with articles on new sex moves like they were going out of style?

You get cozy with what works and forget that there is a whole world of new and exciting sex out there to check out. But it's not about sex moves, it's about boosting the flames and passion.

Don't stress out. You don't have to try eevvveryyyythinngg you see on the internet. You don't have to feel pressured to become a human pretzel for the sake of tantra experimentation. We have simple suggestions for when you're looking to up the ante in the bedroom.

Now, having that chat with your partner about trying new stuff—that's the tricky part, indeed! Not to worry—we've got you covered on all levels with these 5 sex tips.

Start with an honest (positive!) talk

You have to start everything with an open and honest conversation with your partner. If you want to try new things in the sack, it can't be "You're not giving me what I need." It needs to be, "I really want to try this new thing with you because you're sexy." Now, we're not saying stick to script, but positivity and affirmations go a long way.

Sex is a weird situation to be in, if we're being perfectly honest. Everyone is naked and kind of feels awkward and self-conscious, but we want to be super sexy. If you tell your partner she's doing something wrong or his go-to thing is boring, they're not going to respond positively. Would you? Tell him you think X, Y, and Z would be hot to try. Tell her how attractive you find her. This stuff really helps build up your partner to opening up to the new thing you're looking to try.

Make oral the start of everything

Much of the time we're so busy that we forget that foreplay is not just something for lazy Saturday mornings. When it comes to the vulva, you need to be properly amped up to enjoy penetrative sex (or any type of sex). Otherwise, yeah, sex is going to hurt. No one wants that. The wetter you are, the better sex feels, the more you're going to love sex with your partner.

Oral or manual clitoral stimulation should be a part of every sexual encounter. Of course, this goes both ways. Foreplay for everyone so everyone can have better sex.

Give your partner some direction

Specific suggestions are key when to comes to getting what you in bed. The more direction you give your partner, the better. Sometimes the best way to climb these proverbial hills is by turning the "directions" into dirty talk. If you're not sure how to make dirty talk happen, never fear. We've have a guide for you right here!

Your partner very likely wants to please you and wants you to be satisfied (I mean, who wouldn't want that?). Issues can arise when they aren't sure what it is they're doing that isn't working. The more detailed you can be, both with your words and where you place your partner's hands, the better.

Not sure what you actually want? Masturbate. Pay attention to what feels erotic. This way you can relay that information to your partner.

Get a sex toy that isn't scary

When you want to take things up a notch, sometimes all it takes is a motor. Sex toys are not replacements for sex or your partner. There is no need to be intimidated by them. Be sure you tell your partner that you're looking to spice things up, need some extra clit stimulation, and want to give a toy a go.

Don't buy something enormous and terrifying if this is your first time using sex toys together. You want something small, but powerful. Go for a toy in a neutral color. Small toys aren't just amazing for vulva owning people, they can absolutely change the game for penis-owners as well. A vibrator on a ball sack or perineum is a weapon for next level pleasure.

Watch some porn together for inspo

There is incredible erotic material out there that doesn't involve RedTube, PornHub, or other garbage sites. Check out some porn that you'll both like for sexual inspiration. Do keep in mind that porn is a fantasy, just like a movie. It should serve as way to get the ideas turning, rather than as a guidebook to better sex.