Tag: sexuality

The payment screen on the metro card machine instructs me to dip my ATM card. Dip, like a child testing the temperature of water with their foot, invoking a deceptive smoothness to the instruction. My movements are anything but fluid and gentle. I shift my oversized camping backpack awkwardly, trying to reach for my wallet… Continue reading Lying to a Junkie

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There are a lot of different ways to do poly relationships. Every time I have a conversation with someone about playing or going on a date, we talk about poly dynamics. How they/I do poly, how they/I view it, what kinds of framework we are each working within. In many of these conversations, I have… Continue reading I (want to be) my own primary partner

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Prelude: The bathroom, January, 2015 My partner and I smoke in the bathroom during the winter. There are tricks to keeping the stale scent under control, but after a few weeks, we stop blowing smoke through the dryer filter and don't care whether the shower is on or not, and the towel is only haphazardly… Continue reading Unclench

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In the brisk autumn air along the tourist strip, we sat outside the Champagne Bar celebrating Sarah's thirty-something birthday-I found myself wondering if they'd given her a free bottle of champagne even though her birthday wasn't until Sunday but I had never met a person who could refuse Sarah what she wanted-and as I sat… Continue reading Weekend Dreamers

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“Are you going to the (queer mixer, queer dance party, queer pajama swap, etc.)?” I ask. “I’m not sure,” my friend says. “I’m not sure I’m queer enough to go.” I’ve had this conversation a lot lately, particularly with people who are cis-women. In response, I usually ask what “queer enough” means, and these are… Continue reading Are you queer enough?