Thursday, October 30, 2014

I'm pretty sure that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl.

I have this thing where I go over everything in my head and I over analyze anything that I come into contact with. My conclusion to the fact that I am the absolute WORST at being a girl is no different. I feel like this is a true fact. I came to this realization somewhere between putting on my sweatpants/ butler bulldogs tee shirt and then going to my aunt/uncle's house to eat pizza and drink beer.

I know, I know, carbs and alcohol, SAY WHAT?! But I'm a rebel like that. My pants hate me for it.

Between reading through my favorite blogs, checking out random sites, and talking to people that I grew up with, it's enough to make you feel like you took a detour at the wrong crossroad. Most of them are in meaningful relationships, either married or on the verge. Most with children and some have even been with their significant others for years upon years. WE'RE TALKING SANDBOX LOVE, PEOPLE! And yet I'm just over here all- look at how cute my dog is!!

Now, being the type of person that I am, none of this usually bothers me, but every once in a great while I'll feel a ting of the green-eyed monster creeping up my back. Don't get me wrong, I have no desire to be married, and at the possibility of sounding like a horrible person, I don't want children. At least not ones to call my own. Neither of those two things have ever been a priority of mine. I love my independence and at the risk of sounding selfish, don't feel like I should have to have children to live up to some other persons standard of my happiness. But that's just one girls opinion on the matter.

I hate drama. And I truly mean that from the bottom depth of my soul. I'm always here to listen to a friend/family member vent about their problems, but I don't voluntarily go in search of it. I rather like my peaceful, little existence and don't see the point in complicating things. Oh, having trouble with your cheating/unappreciative/psychotic/paranoid significant other? Well, let's not do the rash thing and break up with them so you can find happiness in the future. No, let's stick it out for another three or four years so that when the unavoidable implosion that is our lives comes to a head it's all that more ugly, emotional, and terrible. Makes alot of sense, huh? No.

I don't curl my hair and wear make-up every single day. I hardly even get out of sweatpants, loose tee shirts, or cotton shorts on weekends. Monday through Fridays {except on the days that the sun has smiled upon me and we don't have work on one of those days} I usually make myself acceptable looking. But then I have days like today where I felt that my morning time was better spent standing under hot water in the shower. And then I look like I do right now. No make-up sans for the leftover eyeliner from yesterday, and a messy version of hair that's so bad it can't even be considered a "messy bun". No, it's just it's very own mess. I didn't even fully brush it, because it just wasn't happening.

Also, I do not own a copy of the movie The Notebook. I know, if none of the other things got me, that one definitely will.

If you mustache me a question, go for it.

Chances are, I'm gonna show up in boots.

No doubt about it.

Tayder thinks I'm an embarrassing kind of mom.

I enjoy dressing in camo and wearing antlers.

I have a soft spot for gingers.

And I know everybody thinks their dog is the cutest.... but mine really is.

I was born on the 13th and tell people it was a Friday (it was really a Tuesday).

I love sharing "throwbacks" because they crack me up.

If it ain't Mario Bros on the Nintendo, I give up.

The only marathon I need or want.... like ever.

Sometimes I make random ass collages.... just because.

Remember being seventeen?!

Yeah, it wasn't as great as what you remember it being.

If Lizzy Caplan isn't one of your heroes, you should reevaluate that.

My family has just pretty much given up on me to stop saying f*ck.

They've also given up on trying to get me to wear "normal" pants.

I watch WAY too many true crime documentaries.

The first crush I ever remember having was on Christian Slater... followed by Bruce Campbell.

I have very strange travel destinations in mind.

Told you my hair and face was insane. (Also, booze).

Enjoy your time here.

I just wanted y'all to know that Charlie Kelly is my spirit animal.

If your picture is here.... my bad, homie.

IJTLFAT claims no credit for most of the images posted on this site unless they are blurry and sometimes in questionable taste cell phone pictures of random shit from my actual phone or they're from my past excursions..... something like that. Images on this blog are copyright to their respectful owners. If there is an image appearing on this blog that belongs to you and you do not wish for it appear on this sarcastic, but also sometimes serious blog, please email with a link to said image and it will be promptly removed. And before you even ask, yes, I'm really sorry about it.

If you've made it this far on my blog.... I commend you.

I should also probably apologize for my excessive use of the word f*ck, calling people bitch more often than not, and for talking about literally nothing to the point that it could melt brains. However, I apologize for none of it. BECAUSE I DO WHAT I WANT. Except for the picture notice that's above this. I totally meant that.