An anti-statist digest with news, events, aggregated links, etc. of interest to libertarians. Equal parts "People," "reason" and "Mad" magazines. The official blog of the anarcho-humorist movement.

.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Oversexed at CPAC

Dredging up coverage of sex at CPAC is nothing new. For years leftovers have been shocked, shocked!, that 23 year old gay guys, away from home in the big city at nice hotels with like minded people and a lot of booze go online to hook up with each other - which has led me for two years to post a spoof Craigslist ad:

CPAC - m4m - 43 (National Harbor)

age : 43

Radical libertarian would like to tie up and abuse proglodyte and leftover journalists.

Boys who look like Sally Kohn or Chris Hayes who need to be tied up, slapped around and fucked.

Also any Rick Santorum supporters in the closet or younger versions of Lindsey Graham or John McCain.

Or if you are just a decent constitutionalist type, we can have regular non-hate sex, or even a drink.

Your place

I thought I'd had an oversexed CPAC by Saturday morning - On Friday at CPAC the former Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox, flirted with me. I had media credentials as a blogger and was sitting in the front row of the media section, when a cute, slim, strawberry blond woman asked to sit next to me, at a seat where I was charging my second IPad. I was confused as to why she would need that seat, since I thought the rest of the row was empty (turned out people had left bags or laptops at every seat), so I quizzically said "Sure, I guess..." and Ms. Cox said "Oh, did you think I just wanted to sit by you?" not realizing I suppose that her gaydar is rather faulty. Later, as I recorded the crowd reaction to Rand Paul's speech with my other IPad, which is what she had swooped in to take notes on, she helpfully pointed out that my arm must be getting tired and C-Span would have it all recorded. I don't think it crossed her mind I wanted to record the crowd. I started to take her photo but I just recorded a few seconds of her in my Rand Paul video. (I find leftovers often assume you are stupid and that they can explain to you how you might better use your time.) Ms. Cox is famously, among other things, the gal who tittered with Maddow on her show about "teabaggers."

Then at dinner a libertarian conservative boy told me stories about his hilariously clueless youth not knowing women were coming onto him when they would do things like get into an elevator with him and tell him they weren't wearing panties. I have now collected enough silly sex stories like this, a fair portion from socially awkward libertarian boys, I may publish them as a paperback.Finally, a drunken grad student girl at the very classy, SCOTUS -adjacent Breitbart party on Capitol Hill (every tall, beautiful opinion commentator from FOX News, champagne flowing until 1 pm, a 10 piece band) gave me a vodka martini, climbed up on me, and ground her pudenda into my Johnson.So I felt that was a pretty sexualized day at CPAC.

But then on Saturday I learned of Rainbow Beaver. You might think this is something cooked up by Angela Keaton of Outright Libertarians at Libertopia, some wild libertarian lesbian rave. It would be closer to say it's the womens' auxiliary of GOProud though, since the newly reconstituted, and somewhat more conservative (in its PR approach) GOProud was the target.

Those lovely Catholic homophobe boys who wear red sashes at their booth at CPAC (perfect, I'd imagine, for tying up the wrists and ankles of your lover before pounding his manhole) were circulating a graphic depicting a malevolent rainbow beaver eating one of the legs of Ronald Reagan's stool of conservatism: family values, free markets, and a strong military. Rich Lowry of National Review went into the stool crap on the panel he shared with reason's Katherine Mangu-Ward.

Why do these idiot conservatives insist on this metaphor? First of all, "stool" sounds like you are talking about unpleasant medical specimens. Second, a stool has three legs and they often start talking about three stools. Third, this is not conceptual thought - it's like idiot Keynesians discussing how the economy is like a water balloon or a pump. The three legs are in conflict they do not support each other - the conservative belief that only state engineered and approved families support the market economy is in conflict with the market economy.I'm beginning to think the rainbow beaver image isn't about destroying the wood (calling Dr. Freud!) in the Reaganite stool - it's fear of the libertarian porcupine.

Celebrities Support Planned Parenthood
-
LOS ANGELES (WNB) - Hollywood celebrities turned out to show their support for Planned Parenthood Thursday. The agency has been facing fierce criticism with ...

Trumpeteers

#BlackLivesMatter peeps are the mirror image of Trump - right on some issues, publicity whores, bad PR for their own cause and party.

This made me smile today

Every time you enslave a Christian

A fairy baker loses a sale

And now, a word from our sponsors...

For anyone upset that the vast majority of libertarians, including the Kochs, supported gay marriage, and who are worried it's wrong because we should only want government out of marriage or should continue to deny a group the freedom to marry in order to try to prevent antiliberty law suits forcing people to bake cakes, I must point out to you that gay people have taken over all the libertarian organizations. And the Kochs? Not really brothers. Wink, wink.

Someone needs to

Start a magazine for outdoorsy libertarian lesbians titled LL Being

The Selfish Tree

Be a dancing queen

to the beat of a different drummer

What the meaning

Of "is" is

Petition to free Ross Ulbricht

Click image to be taken to petition

Ready for Hypocrisy

Intersectionality

Intersectionality is when discrimination is against two things, not just one.

Like transfats.

Some people are more N word than orhers

President Obama claims to treat all people equally, but today when he threw a gay heckler out of the White House, he didn't even use the word "faggot"

Royal blue and says Vote Libertarian

19th century liberals on the warrior cop

Obama drones are cool

Fair share

Nice work

Nice work. If you can get it

World's cutest libertarian

You probably can't be this cute, but we will sell you this hat! $10!

Chris Rock

Gets his Liberty on

This week's reading

In Licensed to Lie, attorney Sidney Powell takes readers through a series of disturbing events, missteps, and cover-ups in our federal criminal justice system. According to Powell, the malfeasance stretches across all three branches of our government — from the White House to the U.S. Senate, to members of the judiciary. Even worse, the law itself is becoming pernicious. Americans can now be prosecuted, convicted, and imprisoned for actions that are not crimes. And if acquitted, there is no recourse against prosecutors who hid evidence vital to the defense. Join us for a discussion of these distressing legal trends and what might be done about them.

No moral equivalence

“We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill their children. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.”

John Kerry sups with Assad

Our evolving President

"The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation." - Sen. Barak Obama, 2007

Baby Libertarian sez

FOOD FREEDOM!

Are you asleep?

Everyone is a "libertarian" now, from Glenn Beck to Bill Maher, from a London real estate company called The Libertarian to a British hat maker called The Libertarian. So this blog is for fun or funny late night thoughts. The only real requirement is that they be ideas that came to you or posts written between midnight and 5 am wherever you are. Insomniac writers are free to join. We are aiming for a protocol of having an original blog post, as often as possible, scheduled to publish at midnight (somebody's midnight!) Feel free to submit something as a guest contributor, or to become a regular blog member.

It makes perfect sense that Amazon.com bought the Washington Post, since the Post is really good at delivering the news in 3-5 days (David Martosko).

"…it’s getting to the point where you don’t have to have done anything wrong, you simply have to eventually fall under suspicion from somebody, even by a wrong call, and then they can use this system to go back in time and scrutinize every decision you’ve ever made, every friend you’ve ever discussed something with, and attack you on that basis, to sort of derive suspicion from an innocent life.” -Edward Snowden

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fell down some steps last year and hit her head. President Clinton was asked at the Golden Globe awards how her head was. Not understanding, he quickly answered "well not as good as others but it will do."

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." -Voltaire

Obama says "You must raze a village

to take a child"

Join the Liberty movement!

Be Against Roads!

Edward Snowden statement

at Moscow Press Conference

Followers

Follow by Email

Christie worries about the dangers of freedom. I worry about the danger of losing that freedom. Spying without warrants is unconstitutional.

Chris Christie is upset because

He gets cranky

Translate

Insomniac Essentials

Show your support for Edward Snowden!

Click image to order

Or Benghazi

Your job, Libertarians, is to top this

"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron."— H.L. Mencken, Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

And counting

New IRS chieftain Werfel explains that his agency's harassment of Jewish groups was within approved limits because they only took the tips

A photon was going through airport security when a TSA agent asked if he had any luggage.

"No, I'm traveling light," the photon said.

(David McElroy)

So when an advanced civilization makes First Contact with earth, it will meet a militarized drone that will attack them for not having the required chip implant broadcasting biometric data. War will ensue, and this is how humanity will end.

CLICK TO EMAIL YOUR U.S. REPRESENTATIVE OR SENATOR

Knock knock.TYPICAL AMERICAN: Who's there?BIG BROTHER: It's me, Big Brother.AMERICAN: Oh, please come on in, Mr. Big. Always glad to see that you're on the job of protecting me.BIG BROTHER: I've brought a technician with me today. He's going to pound a sensoring device up your rectum, for your enhanced protection from terrorists, of course.AMERICAN (dropping his pants and bending over): That's wonderful, Mr. Big. We can never be too careful when we're dealing with those horrible terrorists.

"Messrs. Manning, Assange, and Snowden apparently took literally the message that has been plastered on public buildings, subways, airports, and billboards: "if you see something, say something." What the "something" is, and to whom your report is to be made, are never indicated, but the reaction of the hacks is clear: don’t have that "something" be critical of the state or its owners!"

“Whether or not this program was authorized by Congress, it seems to me that this is an unconstitutional activity, which would make it illegal, and he (Ed Snowden) should have some kind of immunity.” -Thomas Massie

If your government is keeping secrets and going through your email and cell phone, it's time to break up.