Posts Tagged ‘church’

This is the American month for thankfulness, and tonight I am abundantly thankful. God has poured innumerable gifts into our lives. The past weeks have been filled with many wonderful things—conferences to hone our counseling and media skills, treasured time with old friends, moments of holy brokenness in ourself and our students, times of rejoicing with those in the BFA community. Our life here is rich and vibrant, but tonight, I am struck not with the events, but with the people, the themes, the underlying and overarching goodness of our God.

I wish I could squeeze my heart into these words, so you could feel the deep pleasure and gratitude that lives there. Through ever-present pain, longing, and hurt, runs a bright fuchsia cord of earnest satisfaction. Even in the moments of acute ache, my soul still whispers to the great God above, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Thank you for my husband.

He is the most patient man I know. He is the stability of my turbulent heart. He is the greatest picture of you I’ve seen on this earth. I have no fear that he will ever walk away from me. Thank you for giving me such an undeserved love.

Thank you for this place.

It is a rare gem, to which I fear all others will seem flawed in comparison. These students amaze me with their vibrant creativity, fierce sense of justice, abundant compassion, and beyond-their-years wisdom. These families are flawed, but I’ve never had more opportunity to stand in awe at the sacrifice, patience and wisdom of parental love. This staff is composed of fallen humans, but they genuinely want to please you, they genuinely love those they’ve sacrificed so much to serve. Thank you for creating such a beautiful community.

Thank you for your body.

We do not deserve their love, prayers, and financial support, but you have lavished it upon us. Our families believe in the call you placed upon our lives, a gift that not all receive. Our friends delight in the work you have called us to, so much so that they happily provide for our needs. Our brothers and sisters remember us before you, lifting us up with heartfelt petitions for fruit, for growth, for blessing. Thank you for these people we are honored to know.

Thank you for your redemption.

I cannot believe that you take my shame and make it beautiful. I cannot believe that you take what has meant only death to me, and bring forth life. I cannot believe that you bless even my tarnished desires to serve you, for your glory and your kingdom. You overwhelm me with your goodness. My heart aches at the holy glory you display through my brokenness. Thank you for being my Redeemer.

Thank you for making me a mother.

Though I have not touched a child of our flesh and blood, you have given us children on this earth. You have filled our days with beautiful souls to protect, to delight in, and to love. Some days, my heart nearly bursts from this beautiful sorrow, this abundance that you have poured upon us through our brokenness. You have taken our barrenness, and given us children. A students once said to me, “Even if you don’t have kids, you have kids,” and it is this that makes me stand in awe of you, a God who would give us children of the heart. Thank you for being a giver of good gifts.

Well folks, it’s been a looong time since our last update. I’ll skip the list of reasons for our silence, and jump straight to the good stuff.

Summer Happened

This summer was full. We did some manual labor, had family visit, and moved twice. July was filled with an intensive German course, which gave us a little more language confidence. Wir sprechen Deutsch ein bisschen besser. (If you speak German, you may be able to tell just how little better by that sentence.)

School’s back in session!

In late August, BFA started up again. We’re so glad not to be new this year! It’s wonderful to know how BFA operates, know what all those crazy acronyms mean, and best of all, to know students! God has already blessed us with some amazing, truth-filled, life-changing conversations with students.

Israel and the Screaming Girls

Israel is coaching JV Girl’s Volleyball this year. Last year he helped out, but now he’s an official coach. This means daily practices and traveling to games every weekend. Israel seems to be uniquely equipped, by his five sisters, to deal with all the screaming involved in a six hour bus ride with 20 teenage girls. He’s very much enjoying coaching, but it makes for a very tiring schedule.

Dani Goes to School

I am in my last few weeks of a Biblical Counseling class through the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. The class is called Foundations of Biblical Change and has been incredibly applicable, both to my own life and to my conversations with girls. Already this year, several girls have come to me with some pretty serious things, so the training I’m receiving through this class has been incredibly helpful. I hope to continue with more classes next semester.

Hello Long-Term Commitment?

Our initial commitment to BFA was for two years; this is our second year. Because it takes several months for BFA to fill empty positions, the school asks us to make next year’s commitment in October. A few weeks ago, we turned in a sheet of paper indicating that we would be at BFA next school year. We feel that we need to stay here until God tells us to go somewhere else. We’re excited about this decision and about being able to invest here longer term. This will mean more support raising this summer and, hopefully, more language learning, but we’re excited about the ways God will provide through these opportunities.

Pray for Us. Pretty Please!

Busy, Busy, Busy — As our lack of updates indicate, we’re crazy busy! We’ve had very little free time since school started. We hope things will slow down a bit in mid-November, once volleyball and my class are over, but we’re already looking forward to Christmas Break.

Chapel Talk — I, Dani, am speaking in High School Chapel on November 11th. I think I’ll be speaking about the miscarriages and what God’s been teaching me through them, but I don’t really know what “the point” of my talk is yet, partially because I’m still in the middle of this journey. I’m also sharing my story of dealing with sexual addiction in a dorm on Sunday. Prayer is much appreciated!

Student Issues — God’s allowed us to join girls in pretty serious issues this year. We feel privileged to get to walk with them toward Jesus, but we can also feel rather helpless! We know, though, that Jesus is the only one who saves and changes. Pray for wisdom for us, and for redemption and salvation for the students!

Summer and Future Plans – We’re still many months away, but summer will be upon us sooner than we think. This will mean travel, finding temporary housing and a car, and raising more support. We’re also in the process of deciding what direction to take for our family, whether fertility, adoption or something else.

We love you all! We’ll try to get another update out before Christmas!

So our community group, back in the states, sent us a package for Christmas. We didn’t end up getting it until after the new year, but it was well worth the wait. It was full of white-elephant (dirty Santa) gifts!

What Was Inside?

Let’s see…among the gifts was my favorite, the abominable snowman. You put it in water and then it grows over a three day period into three-times it’s normal size. I’ve happened to discover that I like hiding it around the house. So every few days it’s placed in different locations. Loads of fun for all involved.

So What Does This Have to do With Being in Germany?

Absolutely nothing. But it has everything to do with having great friends and supporters. People who will stand by you. People who will laugh with you. People who will pray with you.

We love our community group. Receiving fun gifts like this makes me feel loved and supported. And I enjoy the silly gifts. I guess I’m trying to say that it’s a blessing when we get surprises. And it’s a blessing to have great supporters like our community group and others who are willing to stand by us while we are over here in Germany.

Thank You

Thanks community group for all your prayers and care. We love every note and little gift you send our way. You have more of an impact than I can ever convey. We love you. Know that your sacrifice for us will not go unnoticed. You are all in our prayers as well.

We made this video for the Missions Day of our home church, The Grove, in Arkansas. We wanted to share this glimpse of our lives with you all. Maybe you should create your own video and send it back to us. Okay? Okay.

Hopefully you know by now (unless you’ve just stumbled across our blog) that we are planning to work with missionary kids at Black Forest Academy. As part of our preparation, I’ve been reading (rather slowly) Third Culture Kids by David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken. Missionary kids are third culture kids (TCKs), which means they’ve spent a significant period of their formative years outside their passport countries. I’ve also been going to counseling for the past few months. One of the things that keeps coming up, in the book and counseling, is grief.

I moved a lot growing up. I believe I moved 12 times in my first 14 years of life. I don’t know if I technically qualify as a TCK, but I do relate to some of the aspects of TCK life. One thing I’d never realized is that there is a grieving process to moving. Let me tell you, that was an eye-opening chapter. According to the book, the transition cycle for moving is Involvement, Leaving, Transition, Entering and Reinvolvment. Okay, in and of itself, that doesn’t really mean much. The wow moment for me was reading about the Leaving stage, which isn’t talking about getting on a plane and heading to your new home, although that’s part of it, but about emotionally removing yourself from your home. You begin to loosen emotional ties, back out of responsibilities and refrain from taking new ones, and stop making new friends.

So, for the first time, I’m aware of this process. We’re in this strange sort of limbo. We’re preparing to move to another country to start a whole new life. We’ve basically sold all of our possessions, we’ve moved in with friends, we’ve given our cat away, we’ve quit our jobs, but we’re still here. And, instead of pulling away from our relationships, we’re strengthening them and making new ones, because everyone here is vital to our success at BFA. And I don’t mean financially, although we do need money, but, emotionally and spiritually. The people here will, in many way, sustain us as we serve in Germany. Instead of distancing ourselves from friends, family and church, we’re trying to become even more connected to our lives here, so that we have an anchor of people from which we can launch ourselves into BFA.

And it’s weird.

People ask me how things are going and how we’re doing, and I don’t really know what to tell them. We’ve sold all of our stuff, all of our wedding gifts. We never took any photos of our apartment, the only home we’ve know since we’ve been married. We’re living with someone else. We gave our cat away, and I bawled and I want her back. We want to be in Germany, but we’re not. We want to get to know our friends better and to love them better, but then it will hurt that much more when we have to leave.

So I think I’m experiencing grief. I’m glad to know that is what’s happening, and that it’s normal, and that it will keep happening. But it’s strange.

I’ve been thinking about home, and what that means. TCKs often don’t know where home is. I can identify with that right now, because, apparently, home isn’t a place. It’s not your things. Or where you live. Or comfort food.

What I’m trying to get at is that this whole missionary thing can be hard at times, and we haven’t even left yet. We’re in process. We’re learning and changing and grieving. I’m grieving the apartment (that I never liked), and our possessions (that I wasn’t very attached to) and our cat (whom I loved). I guess the fact that I even care about leaving our apartment shows that this really is a transition. And maybe it really is a sacrifice. It didn’t seem like much of a sacrifice before it happened, and even now, it doesn’t seem like much of one. And I’m actually glad to do it, because I’m so excited about what God has for us at BFA. But I guess it is a sacrifice to leave all of your things and what you’ve known, for something that has no guarantees.

I guess I wanted to let you all know how we, or at least I, am doing. In one sentence, I think this whole transition period is strange. That’s really the best word I can think of to describe it.

After returning from Telephone, Israel had a short three days work-week before we headed to the Jernigan home in Muskogee. We spent three days with the family in Muskogee. Hannah and Ash arrived from Australia on September 24th. Besides the few hours we saw them before heading to Telephone, we hadn’t seen them at all. And since we’d never met Ash, it was very important that we get to know him. Israel is the older brother, after all.

Friday morning, Hannah and Ash got up bright and early so I could do their engagement photos. It was very chilly and dewy around the Jernigan property, but they were brave and agreed to lay on wet hay bales and grass. I’m so glad they did, because their photos are awesome! So far, my favorite shoots have been in fields early in the morning. Actually, they’ve all been with family members too. I love the mood of Hannah and Ash’s photos. The Jernigans have five to seven horses (I don’t remember the exact number), and at one point, they all decided to get in on the photos. I was quite thrilled. Horses! In photos! Yes! But Hannah thought it would make her look really Oklahoma country. She was totally wrong. I don’t think it’s possible for Hannah to look like an Oklahoma country girl. And there’s no way anyone would think that of Ash.

Friday night we went to the high school football game to see Israel’s twin brothers, Asa and Ezra, play in the band. I paid absolutely no attention to the game. I thought we were winning for quite a while, but we weren’t. We lost. By a lot. But, during the massacre, we played with our brand new video camera and ate funnel cake. I love food. Can you tell?

Saturday we did some family photos. There are now 14 people in the Jernigan family. 14. That’s a lot of people to have look good at the same time. Surprisingly, there were actually some really good photos of the whole fam. Once we split up into smaller groups however….

That afternoon we headed to Tulsa. The girls went to Hannah’s lingerie party. The boys went to the state fair where they watched pig racing and ate chocolate covered bacon. We all met up at P.F. Changs for dinner that night with some family friends. Jernigan, party of 18? Our poor waiter.

Sunday was filled with church and family. We always go to Grandma Jernigan’s house for lunch on Sundays. We stayed for the evening service to see Hannah and Ash lead worship. The whole service was awesome. I’m so glad we stayed.

It was really hard to leave. We won’t see Hannah and Ash again until their wedding in April. We love Ash. He’s absolutely perfect for Hannah. He’s very funny, very intentional and very loving. Plus, he’s Australian, which ups his cool level by like 47%. Israel even started to pick up his accent, Oh Israel. Seeing Hannah was really great for me. She’s so encouraging and has such a sense of purpose. I was reminded of how I want to live my life—with purpose—and that I want to speak words that are uplifting and bring hope to those who hear them.

Just so you know, the photo header is not Texas. It’s Arkansas. I took it on the way back from Texas. I felt obliged to tell you. You know, just in case you decided to move to Texas just from looking at that photo and then were really surprised when it wasn’t hilly and green.

Last week, Israel took a couple days off so we could head to Texas to see my family. It was a crazy-busy weekend, with not as much family time as I wanted, but we got to see a lot of people, which was the point.

Israel’s sister Hannah has been in Australia for two years studying at the Hillsong International Leadership College. While there, she met her soon-to-be-husband Ashley, who we call Ash. They came in on Thursday evening, so we headed to Muskogee to see them. It was so good to see them. They were exhausted, of course, but when we arrived everyone was playing Apples to Apples. It was the first time the whole family, all 14 of us, had been together in almost two years. Friday morning, we went to IHOP for Ash’s first American breakfast. I’m sure he was very impressed.

After IHOP, we drove to Telephone, Texas, where I spent my high school years.

Yes, there really is a town called Telephone. It’s tiny, which is why you’ve never heard of it.

My parent’s divorced when I was 13. Shortly after their divorce we moved in with Grandpa and Grandma. We were supposed to be there for one year, but ended up staying for six. As my grandpa is a Southern Baptist pastor, we were required to go to church, something I wasn’t always happy about. But that little Baptist church is where I got my spiritual foundation.

After the three hour drive from Muskogee to Telephone, we spent the afternoon with my grandma, aunt and cousins. Then we headed into “town” where we met my mom and Uncle Louie, Aunt Charlotte and cousin, Joel, for dinner. I haven’t seen them in about six years, so it was wonderful to reconnect. When I called Charlotte to finalize our plans, Joel answered and I thought I had called the wrong number because his voice was so DEEP! I mean deeeeeep.

On Saturday, we met up with Charlotte and my cousin Bekah for breakfast at Starbucks, since Bekah was working the night before. She REALLY wants to live in Europe and work with kids. So, of course, we tried to figure out what she could do at BFA. Then we headed to Dallas where we met some college friends, Rachel and Chris, for lunch at Cafe Brazil. I think four different people told us to go to Cafe Brazil. They had about 30 different kinds of coffee. Israel had breakfast tacos. I had loaded fries. Because I wasn’t very hungry. Hmm…..

Then, we met up with Israel’s old roommate, Chris, at the NorthPark Mall, which is where we always meet Chris. We got another coffee and walked through Anthropologie. Can I just tell you how much I love that store? I love it a lot. If only it were about 70% cheaper. Sigh.

Then, we drove to Waxahachie to see Israel’s Great Aunt Helon. I’d never been to her house before, so it was nice to see where she lives. We should really make her tell us her life story sometime, because it sounds like she’s done a lot of interesting things. Once we got back to my mom’s house, we watched half of Stardust but couldn’t finish it because we were so tired. I really like this movie, by the way.

On Sunday we visited Telephone Baptist Church, where I grew up. I hadn’t been in a couple years because my grandpa helped start a cowboy church that we usually go to when we’re in town. It was so nice to see everyone again. People didn’t recognize me because my hair is so short now (actually, it’s rather long at this moment and desperately needs to be cut; short hair doesn’t look good grown out). It was the first day of a revival, so we were invited to attend lunch after the service. Brisket and potato salad and lots of dessert. Mmmm.

We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with my family. We addressed envelopes to mail, fried okra (of course), ate Philly cheese steaks, and watched The Amazing Race while petting Samson the Pitbull. Israel and I both really liked Samson, which is surprising because we’re not dog people. We have Felin for a reason.

On the Way Home

Don't Mess with Me

Grandma

Addressing Envelopes

Car, Again

Bois D'Arc Creek Cowboy Church

The HomesteadThis is where I grew up in Telephone, Texas. And my grandpa.