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I just called to say you’re an A@#h%$e

I don’t really have a filter when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. Accordingly, I am quite familiar with the taste of my foot. Typically, these incidents occur face to face; however with technological advances being what they are, more and more of these faux pas are occurring via smart phone. How many of you have sent a text message to the wrong recipient? How many of you have sent a shit talking text message to the wrong recipient? How many of you have left your husband a voicemail that recorded a husband bashing conversation between you and a friend? Oh just me? Awesome.

Allow me to back up. Last Friday evening, my hometown held its annual fireworks extravaganza. O has been completely obsessed with fireworks since seeing them on the actual 4th of July while visiting family upstate. She is convinced that the fireworks are being run by the ponies from My Little Pony and that the light display is the Elements of Harmony at work. The kid loves her some ponies. In any event, I decided to take her to the fireworks while D stayed home with S. We met up with Liv’s friend S and her parents. While we were waiting for the fireworks to begin, S’s mom and I engaged in what some would call “healthy venting” and others “bitching”. At some point during our conversation, I must have hit a button on my phone which of course dialed D’s work phone. Of course. I didn’t realize this until… oh about five minutes had gone by. During a lull in the conversation, I looked at my phone and saw the telltale green strip that indicates a phone call is in progress. I saw that it was D’s work number, but I really didn’t think anything of it…for two reasons. First, we weren’t saying anything that bad, and nothing I wouldn’t say directly to D. Second, and more importantly, it was really loud on the beach so I was pretty sure the voicemail didn’t pick up anything but background noise. WRONG!

We were packing up our stuff to leave the beach when I received a text from D. It kindly reminded me that the next time I felt a need to complain about him, I should make sure that I don’t butt dial his work phone and leave a five minute voicemail. I must admit that my initial reaction was to laugh because really? What are the odds? This is so typical of me. He was less amused. In any event, I am now totally paranoid and check my phone incessantly whenever I feel like “venting”. I suggest you do the same.