Short stories, all with pictures

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Johnny Rook

It’s colloquially called a Johnny Rook, but it’s actually a “striated caracara”, a native Falkland bird of prey. I’ve started going through all the negatives from the Falklands now and there’s some OK ones. I like this picture though as it was overhead and in the sun when I took it. Perfect spot to get shat on and apparently that’s lucky. Not just Johnny Rook shit mind, but bird shit in general.

Last week we went away for a few days and I got shat on by an angry seagull. Right down my jacket as were walking up a road to the next point of interest. I wiped what I could off with a tissue and we carried on walking towards the road crossing. About a minute later I got pissed off, “bas**** seagull, bas**** f****** seagull shit”, so we stopped and I said “no, I’m taking my jacket off and getting the mess properly off”.

A few seconds later there was an almighty bang, a car hit another car, rolled it onto it’s side and skidded into the pedestrian crossing. Right where we would have been had we not stopped to take my jacket off and wipe the seagull shit off! Nobody was hurt in the prang thankfully, but we probably would have been.