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Ben Yaks Back – 12/10

The controversial app Yik Yak has taken Gonzaga by storm. Yik Yak is an anonymous Twitter feed where people can say whatever they want, which can prompt some inappropriate content. Yik Yak also uses location services on your phone, so the Yaks you see are guaranteed to be from people in your area.

You guys were pretty vulgar this week. I guess there’s something about the stress of finals that makes all the potty-mouthed folk come out.

“I bought some shoes off a drug dealer and I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping all day”

Get new laces. And buy your shoes from a store next time. Why would you have a criminal sell you shoes and why would you buy it from them? (But this is pretty clever).

“Is it December 20th yet?”

No. Look at your phone.

“Discovering a cute guy in your class the last day of the semester [weird crying emoji]”

I’m imagining like an Indiana Jones type archaeology project on the last day of the semester in which a handsome man is found perfectly preserved in dirt. But assuming they’re in your class, that’s your own fault. You’ve seen them two or three times a week for fifteen weeks. But thank you for calling me cute.

“Can I just point out that it’s 52 degrees outside in December”

I have nothing to say about this one, but 81 of you guys upvoted this. 81. This. I don’t get this app.

“Some people call today humpday… I call it legday”

I call it Wednesday.

“Things I still have going for me: 1. I’m not pregnant 2. I haven’t swallowed any gnats recently 3. My roommates still bathe daily even if I don’t”

You know there’s probably a very clean pregnant lady swallowing gnats out there reading this and taking offense.

“Need money for New Year’s Eve in New York, what can I do for money minus prostitute myself?”

I don’t know, maybe try getting a job?

“Human females >>>>>>>”

Human females are 7 times greater than everything else? What about cheeseburgers? Or independence? Or realizing you have one last Nature Valley bar in the box when you’re super hungry? Or when you wash your sheets and go straight to bed? I’d take that over a woman any day.

“Gym tip: run like that girl you hate is watching you and judging you”

If you ever see me running through tears and whispering, “Why did you leave me,” you’ll know I followed your advice.

“Just went to some girl and asked her if I could give her a kiss. She smiled and didn’t know what to say for like 10 seconds but later said no politely. I later pulled out the kiss candy and we laughed”