A clock is a device which measures time. There is more to being correct than chance coincidence.
And when people say a clock is fast or slow, it is probably not fast or slow but simply ahead or behind.

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Clocks do not measure TIME

They indicate AGE from one arbitrary moment to another arbitrary moment

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Chapter 3 digs deeper into these issues, which are related to the failure of
dialectics. It outlines the confusion between time and event, and describes the
semantic disorder concerning the duration of the ongoing (or present) time,
countless metaphors, aphorisms, sophisms, truisms, and so forth, including artifacts
(i.e., conceptions based on an idea, such as a clock or a clepsydra, used to evaluate
the duration between two events).

A clock is a device whose functioning is correlated with the configuration of the
Sun and Earth (Fig. 3.1). When used as clocks, the rhythms of nature do not
generate time. A clock does not produce time and it does not consume time; the time
displayed is subject to strict international conventions. The idea (concept) of
measuring changes (phenomena) is made concrete by the invention of the clock
(artifact): this is conception or design, i.e., the materialization of a concept through
the gnomon, sundial, clepsydra, and clock. Consider what Petronius (?–65 AD)
said: … a clock near which a “bucinator” (latin word for a “trumpet player”) warns
us of the flight of the days, and time gone by ([11]: XXV).
Days and hours cannot be measured; it is changes that are measured.

Chapter 3
The Failure of Dialectics
Abstract The failure of the dialectics of time and space has various origins:
• The confusion between time and event, e.g., the confusion between past time
and past event.
• The non-rigorous use of language, e.g., questions like the duration of present
time.
• The difficulty in understanding the difference between a phenomenon which
belongs to physical reality, and the corresponding mental construct or concept,
e.g., we measure changes instead of hours.
• The dichotomy between time and space, attempting to make time, space, and
spacetime, physical realities.
• The countless metaphors in which time has an active role (dynamics of time,
action of time, arrow of time), and in which space has a materiality.

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A clock is a device which measures time. There is more to being correct than chance coincidence.
And when people say a clock is fast or slow, it is probably not fast or slow but simply ahead or behind.

No but in Britain we speak of getting one's knickers in a twist rather than a knot. Some girls' knickers are sufficiently insubstantial that I can imagine them getting twisted, giving rise to an uncomfortable "dental floss" effect. I had always assumed this was the origin of the expression. Perhaps we need a woman's perspective on this, though.

Ever heard of a wedgie? The trick is to pull hard enough so they don't rip away, but still leave friction burns. Or to flip the recipient off his feet.

I can't imagine doing that to a woman. There are easier ways...

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To those of us Brits of a certain age, "wedgie" means only one thing: our one time far left nutcase Labour minister, Anthony Wedgewood-Benn.
So I had to look this up. Wiki has pictures of it being done to both sexes. A Melvin sounds painful. As for a Minerva, well maybe that is too.

In our family we used to use the expression "starsky" to denote anything that painfully compressed the gonads, after a story that in the TV series Starsky and Hutch the actor ruptured a testicle leaping over a car, due to his tight 70s trousers.