Mortaljive: The Rest is Silence

There is no still point in all the Universe, and that is the rock upon which I stand

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Now Leave Me Be

Saw a very sad woman, she wasn't able to talkShe used to be a runner, but these days she can't walkWhen they knocked on her door, she just shut her eyesDon't tell her any secrets, she won't tell you any lies

They told me that old man Burks passed away a week agoBeen sick and crazy ever since he left the roadHis momma had told him that god was hanging high Too much light comes through the clouds and through the shimmering skies

They say to row your boat, gently down the streamThat life will roll along, merrily in a dreamYou can buy on credit and wealth is just a lieThe rivers just roll along, and the rivers rise

Someone asked the preacher, why are things this way?What's the point of paradise if it all just goes away?The preacher, he shook his head, he hates cracking wiseToo much light comes through the clouds and through the shimmering skies

My old man, he's sick in bed, weak and nearly spentYou don't get to own your life, all you get to do is rentHe looked at the TV and shook his graying head"Why do people who don't love life try to run the world instead?"

I do my best to remember, when the beast is outYou get closer with a whisper than you do with a shoutThey say that we are cripples, but someday we all will riseToo much light comes through the clouds and through the shimmering skies

Friday, April 13, 2007

Missing E-mails With God Now--And Forever

(Jivester News, Lmtd.) The mystery of the missing White House e-mails has now been solved, according to the Right Reverend W. Johnson Smials of the Rapturing Red Heiffer Church in Newer Gedunken, Indiana. "They have been called home," said Reverend Smials during a phone interview earlier today. "It is the Lord's will that these e-mails have been raptured into the vast servers of Heaven, where they will spend eternity in a binary reverie, a reverie that secular e-mail will never, ever experience. Ever. Never, ever, ever. Not even one time."

When asked what concerned parents should tell their children about the disappearance of the e-mails (such disappearances can be traumatic to our nation's youth, resulting in Sudden Juvenile Computer Anxiety Syndrome), Reverend Smials suggested speaking as the Lord and Savior would, i.e. in parables. "Tell them something about devils coming down the chimney to kill them and damn them for all time. That might put them off the track. If they persist in their queries tell these pesky children that the missing e-mails are not really missing at all: they're right next to us, to comfort us, to love us, and to help us cheat on our taxes. For as the night is dimly lit so too the Little Digi Bits of communications are for a time dimly lit, only to be revealed at the End of Days as having been at our sides the whole time. Or tell them the Jews buried them after sacrificing a Christian baby. If that doesn't hold them I don't know what will."

Note: As a reporter, I try to keep my own opinions out of my writing, to better serve the community of readers who have come to trust Jivester News, Lmtd. Be that as it may, in this instance may I just share that it is comforting to know that the missing White House e-mails are not really important as compared with supernatural demons coming down our chimneys to annhilate our flesh and spirit for all time--or that those e-mails are floating in Heaven--better yet, they are right next to us but invisible. Lastly, they were more than likely buried by Jews for purposes opaque to the average citizen. Knowledge is power. Power is good.

And yet, I must add one more possibility to Reverend Smials' list of answers, however, as I feel I would be remiss if I did not do so: The missing e-mails are in a pixie urn at Disneyland, next to the Teacup ride in Fantasyland, where young and old come to play and feel the Magic of the Disney Experience! And yes, those missing e-mails in that pixie urn are covered in vomit--the vomit of little children at play. Praise the Lord. Praise America. Praise Praise itself.