(Can you tell that my sister and I wore out a videotape—how’s that for dated—of this movie?)

Listen to Natalie Merchant’s soulful tribute in song:

River Phoenix might have been an entire generation’s introduction into Hollywood crushes but he, sadly, won’t be the last untimely death.

And what can we do to make sure that these false images of clean-and-perfect living turned into sad-and-horrible death aren’t completely in vain?

For one, this somber anniversary can serve as a mindful reminder that drug use doesn’t discriminate against social class, status or even fame.

It can serve, too, as a remembrance that nearly everyone had a far-off crush while still children themselves—and well before anyone heard of Justin Bieber (and maybe this can provide some fodder for patience with our own children and star-struck youth).

More, however, this real-life story illuminates the dark possibilities that lurk behind hidden double-lives and personal struggles.

Many elephant journal writers blog and share with you simply to open up our communal dialogue and foster mutual self-awareness and understanding and support through something ironically simple yet difficult—communication.

I know that I blog specifically to encourage my toddler to be open with me as she grows and matures, through my own example of openness—even and especially when it’s challenging or uncomfortable for me to do so.

Yet the thing is we have to also remember to slow down and listen.

Yes, we need to exchange, share and converse, but we also need to settle into stillness so that we can hear the words and (possibly unsaid) needs that are being spoken by those around us as well.

So good-bye, once again, River Phoenix. You’re still missed and thought of fondly.

Thank you for the range of emotion that your characters had me feel when I saw you on film and thank you, also, for the important reminder your memory offers: to listen with my whole heart even when it might not be something that I truly want to hear.

“We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk.”

About Jennifer S. White

Jennifer is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor and drinker of hoppy ales. She's also a devoted mama and wife (a stay-at-home yogi). She considers herself to be one of the funniest people that ever lived and she's also an identical twin. In addition to her work on elephant journal, Jennifer has over 40 articles published on the wellness website MindBodyGreen and her yoga-themed column Your Personal Yogi ran in the newspaper Toledo Free Press. She holds a Bachelor's degree in geology, absolutely no degrees in anything related to literature, and she currently owns a wheel of cheese. If you want to learn more about Jennifer then make sure to check out her writing, as she's finally put her tendencies to over-think and over-share to good use. Jennifer's first book, The Best Day of Your Life, is now available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Instagram and on her website.