Sunday, April 17, 2005

Robocop: The Series – Pudface

Pudface? That name will forever be cemented in my skull… and somebody deserves thanks for that. When I saw this lonely little guy sitting in a toy store that was going out of business, I decided I must bring him to a new home… my home. Make yourself at home; Pudface… there’s sandwiches in the fridge and fresh towels in the restroom.

I guess Robocop: The Series aired on TV starting in 1994, not that I ever bothered watching it. Don’t lie… you didn’t either. No hard feelings though, even devout fans of the movies thought the show was lame. Pudface, dubbed Robocop’s “arch nemesis” on his package, looks like a pretty tough guy. I mean, who’d want to mess with a guy with a pistol tucked in his pants, and a red tie with white polka dots adorned proudly?

This man’s face is… gross, and his yellow shirt doesn’t help matters much. I’d like to talk about his weapons, too. We’ve got a sniper rifle, which seems like general villain fare. Next, his weapon of choice is a missile launcher… wait, a missile launcher? Damn! What does he need that for? Is he fighting an entire army? I mean, how can he even get in close proximity to an enemy to fire that monstrosity, and how does he move it around? Pudface, dude… come on, don’t tell me you’ve got wheels attached to your missile launcher?

In closing, there’s something about this nasty little gangster that I find oddly charming. Perhaps it’s the fedora, or fingerless gloves, but regardless he’s won my heart. Pudface, you revoltingly disgusting public menace… next time I shoot a missile launcher I’ll be thinking of you.