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“Whoa, this thing is quick!” we yell out while mashing the little BMW‘s throttle to the floor. South New Jersey’s Route 555 is as flat as the salt plains in Bonneville, but this isn’t the time or the place to be setting land speed records. Such runs will have to wait until we tackle the straights of the New Jersey Motorsports Park 10 minutes to the south.

We may be strapped into the smallest, quirkiest-styled Bavarian machine, but we wouldn’t know it inside. Comfortable soft leather elements coddle passengers while offering sporty aesthetics. You’ll have plenty of knee and leg room up front; just don’t sit in the rear unless you’re really small or younger than 10 years old. Nothing but the healthy voice of a turbocharged inline-six fills the neat cabin.

As the LED instrument cluster displays a bright red “2,” the 135i continues its imitation of an untrained pit bull puppy on a leash, pulling harder as the gears click off. Five more cogs left until terminal velocity, or more likely, a felony reckless driving charge.

As BMW proudly points out, 60 mph arrives in 5.0 seconds flat. The last time we had a 135i in our fleet it had a six-speed manual and sprinted to 60 mph in 4.6 seconds. Now with an ultra-quick dual-clutch gearbox distributing power, we don’t believe Munich’s mouth one bit.

Key to its speed is an N55-series inline-six utilizing a single twin-scroll turbocharger in place of the outgoing twin-snails. The result: a more responsive 300-horsepower engine making its 300 lb-ft of torque at 1200 rpm — some 200 rpm sooner than before. Speak of cars with a head-snapping off-the-line power surge, and the 135i should be included in the conversation. A Valvetronic throttle-less intake and direct-injection further ensure all force-fed thrust is gained as efficiently as possible without affecting the 18 mpg city/25 mpg highway fuel economy.

But the 135i’s brilliant one-direction speed means next to nothing once off the 555 and on NJMP’s tight circuit.

With our right foot once again planted to its limits, corners hastily arrive at the nose. Turn is sublime and weighty, just as it is in other roundel bearers. Continue the journey deeper into the bend and it is quickly obvious that this revised chassis isn’t as buttoned down or as fast to transition weight as the 3 Series on which it’s based.

We noticed the same thing during our 2009 Best Driver’s Car in which we had racing ace Randy Pobst give us his evaluation while carving Laguna Seca Raceway. Hit an apex and the 135i leans slowly, as if it had a 55-gallon barrel bolted on its roof. The four tires below scream in search of grip throughout the corner, progressively tracking farther off line the harder it is pushed. The 135i loves to be driven to the track, not on it.

So, with track play done, it’s time to head back onto the streets in search of some milder curves. About three minutes out of NJMP, we’re met by a bevy of fast, sweeping turns.

The little Bimmer’s demeanor morphs with less throttle and steering dialed in. Hit gradual corners hard and the 1 performs like a BMW, following curvatures with poise and precision.

The 104.7-inch wheelbase is 4 inches shorter than that of the 3 Series. Combine this with the wide 18-inch alloys and our tester’s M Sport Package (stiffer springs and harder dampers), and a well-planted ride is the end result. Its demeanor communicates with the road beneath, transmitting each imperfection slightly to the driver’s hands and backside.

Keep on the gas while yanking on the right aluminum paddle and you’ll notice the N55’s fine-tuned responsiveness and eagerness to dole out every pony and pound-foot it’s got. The mill comes alive between 3000 and 5000 rpm, where an optimal mix of horsepower and torque can be tapped. In the midrange sweet spot, the 1 forcefully shoves you into your seat. Above 5000 rpm, it falls on its face, devoid of oomph.

Vocally, the 3.0-liter hasn’t been tuned to sing a burly song like the Z4 sDrive35is. Rather, engineers left its high-pitched voice all alone. It is not addicting and doesn’t drone, yet it is healthy and stimulating.

Although it wears the title as the cheapest and smallest BMW money can buy, it’s still a BMW. It takes at least $36,925 with $875 destination and handling included to get one off the lot; tack on another $4300 for the drop top version. As long as the 135i isn’t your track car (which in all likelihood, it wouldn’t be), and you have the coin, the little two-door shines as a fast, sure-footed, and understated Bavarian barnstormer.

2011 BMW 1-Series News and Reviews

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