1. Referring to a certain variety of singer: "When did emotion get conflated with trying to cough up a lung?"

Amen. The ability to hold a very loud note is not, in itself, a bad thing, but it's nothing compared to the ability to put nuance and emotion into a song. Bob Dylan is a better singer than Barbra Streisand, and Willie Nelson is a better singer than Celine Dion.

2. Referring to Christina Aguilera: "How do we even know she's a chick? When did pulchritude get conflated with looking like a drag queen?"

A second amen, and perhaps a hallelujah. Aguilara is so frightening-looking, she makes Britney Spears seem human. And Britney's a wax robot.