Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I just thought I'd point out that this is not only a story MSNBC decided to subject its readers to yesterday, for most of the day, it was their TOP STORY.

So, on a newsday where an Oscar-winning actress has been subject to some truly terrible shit, where the World Series could've ended with the losingest team in sports history taking the World Championship, and with two presidential candidates sprinting across America to gain votes in an extremely close election, the ThinkTank over at MSNBC has decided that this is the big story of the day:

"Mothers and Daughters Occaisionally Disagree When Voting for President"

That's right. MSNBR (the "R" stands for "Fucking Moronic Idiot-Ass Retards") has decided that the fact that occaisionally people disagree on politics despite the fact that one of those people came out of the other one's vagina was newsworthy.

You're wondering: Well Brent, if it's so un-newsworthy, why are you about to write about it?

My reply: Shut your whoring mouth before I'm forced to stuff something in it, if you know what I mean.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Karen and

My penis. Is what I was referencing earlier. When I said that bit about stuffing something into your mouth. Anyway,

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Really? This might just be the most inconsequential article written since EVER and you begin it with a melodramatic movie trailer-esque sentence like that? MSNBC writer Melissa Dahl, you are NO Courtney Hazlett, and you never will be.

Oh yea...report the SHIT outta that non-story...

Karen and Kristen Ingraham, who’ve always been more BFF than mother and daughter, were united in their rabid support of Sen. Hillary Clinton.

OMG BFF LMFAO :)))))))!!!!!111!!!! Kill yourself.

Oh and if you're a mom who's more "BFF" than mother to your daughter, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're a bad parent. I will give points to Melissa for describing their support for Senator Clinton as "rabid." Why?

“We've never had an argument about anything important — maybe about a $100 dollar pair of blue jeans."

A pair of pants would be considered an "important" mother-daughter issue?

"It's just shocking."

No. It's not. NoOneCaresNoOneCaresNoOneCares.

For mothers and daughters, fights over the political often feel very personal,

Mostly because women are stupid and can't partake in a debate without feeling like they're being insulted because the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM AND THEY HAVE TO GO OUT EVERY TUESDAY BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING GIRLS NIGHT AND MEANWHILE I'M HOME EATING A GODDAMNED PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH FOR DINNER AND JACKING OFF TO SCRAMBLED SOFT PORN BECAUSE WHILE WE CAN BUY FUCKING $250 SHOES WE "CAN'T AFFORD" HBO.

In a related story, I'm not bitter.

Ok so this is where the true idiocy of this article rears it's ugly (and fat) head. Not only did they decide to write an article with no actual relevance to anything at all whatsoever at all whatsoever, they decided that a good source for quotes would be literally the stupidest mother-daughter combination that the world hath ever bore. Take it away ladies:

She says, ‘Every time I look at (McCain), all I see is old. He's just old, mom.’

That is mama's idea of zing? "And that Governor Palin! Her gender is female! AND she wears glasses! That means she has vision problems, MOM!!!"

I go, "well, I'm getting old!”

WELL THEN YOU FUCKING SUCK TOO, MOM!!!

It’s arguments like that that make her 26-year-old daughter want to scream. “It's almost like, you know, she's being tricked!”

No, like, I don't, like, know, Miss Piggy. Mind explaining?

“And you want to point it out to her — you want to shake her and say, 'You're falling for it!' — but you can't say that, 'cause it's your mother!"

This is actually kind of refreshing. I don't know many completely F-tardedly ignorant Obama supporters. I'd email this to some of my conservative friends to piss them off if I didn't categorically hate everyone who has so much as one single conservative ideal.

“She used to be really good at seeing both sides — but that's probably because we've always been on the same side," Karen Ingraham says.

God I wish they had some sort of stenographer present at interviews like these, just so this bitch could really appreciate how fucking stupid she just sounded.

Alright, there are like 3 other mom and daughter pairings in the article, but this shit is getting exhausting.