March 20th, 2006

Nearly a fortnight ago I posted a startling piece on how I unexpectedly found myself needing marriage proposal ideas. Before long I was getting follow-up inquiries and congratulations not only from across this country (and Canada is a big country) but from across other countries as well. Most people were very keen to see me get hooked up in an institutionalized way (that being the institution of marriage, though in the past two weeks many have suggested alternatives).

Unfortunately, there's a bit of a hitch.

First some background for the non-Magic among. Magic tournaments are broadly broken down into two types - Constructed Magic tournaments where you bring your own deck to play with; and Limited Magic tournaments where you open up fresh packs of random cards at the tournament and attempt to build a deck on the fly. Constructed Magic takes a lot of research and play-testing and can be very mind-numbing to prepare for if you're not among the 1-2% of the world who can make a difference on the format, but new and casual players love it. Limited Magic, on the other hand, is always different and exciting and is generally the preferred format for those of us who have been playing for a long time. I personally haven't played a constructed Magic tournament in about three years.

The Magic tournament in Athens is Constructed.

See, when I made the promise to marry the Armoire if they held a major Magic tournament in Greece, it was implied that it had to be a Limited tournament even if I didn't just come out and say it (no one wants to read out the fine print when making grandiose promises). The last time I flew to a Constructed Grand Prix it was a complete disaster and "complete disaster" and "wedding" aren't really things you want to risk mixing.

Which leaves me attempting to default on a promise by technicality, not the best premise for which to attempt to secure a long-term future. Needless to say, my female (and sensitive male) friends are not amused, though my Magic-playing friends at least understand where I'm coming from. I mean, no one likes plays Constructed!

But there's more...

October 15th of this year is not only just seven months away, making planning a marriage fairly tight, but it's also only two weeks after one of the Armoire's significant birthdays. As early as last month I had already begun panicking as to what to arrange in terms of celebrations, but had starting pondering surprise parties or a big trip. With the arrival of marriage and a honeymoon into the mix, suddenly a brilliant solution offered itself:

I can hold a surprise wedding on her birthday!

It mixes all the elements I'm looking for AND makes both events memorable for the Armoire (or distracts attention from the birthday if required). I mean, how hard can it be to throw together a wedding? And think how she'll appreciate me saving her all that stressful work with the wedding planners and family members and so on! And each year I can just get her one birthday/anniversary gift! I love a nice, tight, logical solution.

But I'm apparently the only one who thinks this way. It appears that women have a different approach when it comes to weddings. Not only do they enjoy the process of arranging them, they have often dreamed about and pondered every little detail for years. The women to whom I spoke threatened physical violence as they expressed how bad an idea this would be. My own mother looked aghast.

Okay, to be fair, I was pretty sure the surprise wedding thing wouldn't work, but I love the looks on people's faces when I suggest it.

So to clear things up, as of yet there has not been a formal wedding proposal process. My people are constantly negotiating terms with the Armoire and we're hoping for some sort of resolution in the next little while (though probably not before I move in to my new house - one major life change at a time please). I would like to state that, weird and incomprehensible as it may seem, had Athens been a Limited tournament I would have followed through with great amusement. But with the combination of Constructed event and proximity (both to the birthday and the current date), I'm going to wait for a better moment. Or more accurately, wait until they post the schedule for the calendar 2007 major Magic tournaments...