Tag: Satanic

Oh my goodness, do I love myself some horror movies. They’ve been an important part of my life ever since I was a little girl and my Dad showed me Scream, which Mom wasn’t super happy about. Though Ghost Face still scares me to this day, as does the girl from The Grudge, I watch a horror at least once a week with my boyfriend. He actually has a blog, Jurassic Massacre 3, that reviews and delves into various movies that fall into horror/thriller genres.

All that being said, I’ve seen a few horror movies in my time and I thought I’d share with you some of my favorites and why I love them. I meant to have this posted yesterday, but I found it too hard to pick just 10. It’s time for:

Lauren’s Top Ten Horror Movies*

* For now

10) Scream (1996)

As I said before, this was the first Horror movie I ever remember watching and it still scares the crap out of me. I think that’s because I saw it when I was so young. I, now, appreciate it for what it is: A scary movie that pokes fun at scary movies while still, purposefully, falling into those tropes. It’s a fun film that you don’t have to take seriously but still manages to scare. I like to watch this one a lot during Halloween Month (October) as it puts me in a spooky mood and allows me to hide from the rain.

9) The Grudge (2004)

J-Horror scares the crap out of me because of the types of spirits depicted and their use of atmosphere to creep out the audience instead of falling back onto the jump scare. This movie gets me more than any other in the genre because of the damn sound the woman makes. That long, choked inhale will stick with me through the night and I’ll end up scaring myself more than the movie scared me as I imagine where she might be hiding.

8) The Thing (1982)

The most impressive part of this movie is the practical effects. I have a deep love for practicals because they just look so much better on-screen and age better than CGI and others. I come from the theatre community and we don’t get the luxury of adding or taking away whatever we want in Post because it’s all, obviously, live! That means we have to work extra hard to trick audiences into believing whatever world we are creating. If theatre can, movies can. The Thing is a prime example of what a movie can look like when practical effects are used. The 2011 version is the opposite.

7) Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Now, don’t come at me saying the original is also better. Trust me, I know the argument. I like this one more because it has more replay value, to use video game terms. There’s a bit of humor, some amazing set pieces, and gore that will make your stomach try to escape your body. This is also a great example of a movie not treating its audience like children as there’s very little explanation as to what’s going on or who we should care about. Well, other than the text scrolling in the beginning but I let that slide because it was in the original.

6) Sinister (2012)

Damn, what a creepy movie. As I have said before, I’m not a huge fan of jump scares because I think they’re a cheap way to scare people and this movie has very few of them. Every detail of the movie is designed to make you feel off. The entire movie takes place in the house (until the end) in order to make you feel claustrophobic; the movie is generally quiet and the music to enhance the terror, not be the scare. I really like the use of color and darkness, too, as everything seems to have a grey wash to it and there are times when the lack of light makes the viewer feel closed in upon.

5) 1408 (2007)

This movie has a crappy rating on Rotten Tomatoes for some reason but I really like it! Basically, it’s John Cusack v An Evil Room. The effects didn’t age well and there are parts that seem a little silly, but I really love the concept presented as well as how they are executed. This movie is also able to make you really sad as you follow the main character through the torture he endures within the room. What’s really cool about this movie is that the set never gets boring, even though the action mostly takes place within the room.

4) Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Alright, I know I already put a horror/comedy making fun of horror movies on this list but I don’t care what you say because this movie his amazing. I really love the overall concept of this movie and if you haven’t seen it, go give it a watch, especially if you’re a horror fan. This movie tips its hat to the horror movies that have come before while also screaming for change. There are also characters worth rooting for and a bunch of tiny details that show just how much thought went into the script. Well, except the eagle part.

3) As Above, So Below (2014)

So, this movie made me nervous at first because it is shot like a documentary and I was worried I was going to be thrown into shaky-cam hell, which, other than a short piece at the start, I wasn’t! The movie takes place in the catacombs under Paris, which is actually where they filmed a majority of the scenes, so the production value of this movie is astounding. The real human bones in each shot, combined with knowing they are far underground, adds to the feeling of being trapped. Basically, these people are looking for the Philosopher’s Stone and get trapped and have to go through Hell to get out. “The only way out is down”.

2) Night of the Living Dead (1968)

My grandma and I used to have something called Crappy Movie Night when I was young. We would go the used book store and get an old horror movie. This is how I saw Night of the Living Dead and instantly fell in love. This was great! The zombies weren’t scary alone but as they grew in numbers, the living inside become the real threat. Man, it’s a great film! I loved zombies ever since then and still plan different ZA escapes depending on where I am. Plus I love sad endings. The best part about this movie? I got to meet Barbra.

1) Tusk (2014)

This is the best horror movie ever made. I watched it for the 7thtime last night and I noticed two more details that I hadn’t seen before. I really don’t want to spoil this movie so I’m just going to tell you what it does correctly. First of all, it’s a great idea. There’s something believable about the plot, even though it seems insane. You, as a viewer, feel the pain of the main character on physical and emotional levels and it’s impactful because the movie takes the time to round out its characters. Second, the camera work is perfection. The angles, frames, and close-ups aren’t frivolous and tell you exactly what’s going on and who’s in charge… if you pay attention. Third, IT’S SO FUCKED UP. This is my favorite movie.

Here’s all you need to know: Justin Long gets turned into a walrus.

That’s all for now, folks! Please, take a few hours and watch one of these (Tusk) and let me (Tusk) know what (Tusk) you (Tusk) think (Tusk).

I walk a lot. I like to take a route that goes from my house to downtown to the ferry docks and back. There’s a long trail that goes through two parks and the whole trek is probably about 4 miles. I try to do this walk whenever I can because not only is it good for my body but it is beautiful. I get to see the various people and buildings downtown and the brick and older folk that hangout in the Fairhaven area. I also get to walk through the forest and along the Puget Sound, where I’ll sometimes see various animals such as seals and ducks playing in the water. It’s a beautiful walk and I greatly enjoy my time. (Also, my butt looks great).

Not from last night, but still from my route

Last night’s walk was particularly wonderful for a few reasons. For one, the weather wasn’t super hot, though it was a little muggy, but the clouds were back and there was a light rain, so it wasn’t too bad. At one point, it did start raining a little harder, though this was a great mishap as I was able to get an espresso poured over Oreo gelato and it was AMAZING! I also had to wait on two long trains, which was not amazing, but that’s okay.

A few times, I would stop on my walk and just look around at all the wonderful beauty around me. Normally, I walk while listening to music, but when I take my little moments, I pause the sound and listen to whatever there is to hear. Sometimes, its conversation. Other times, all I hear are the sounds of The Sound; waves shush against the beach rocks, gulls and ducks chatter and dip under the water, and the wind whispers damp, salty air through my hair.

It was lovely. Well, until some damn woman came up and started talking to me. She wanted to point out the river otters that were playing just off shore, which I had been looking at, and comment on the general beauty of the scene. I agreed with her. The sun was setting and streaming through small breaks in the clouds onto the calm Puget Sound waters. In some places, the pink light caught the shadow of rain falling in the distance, dyeing it.

The woman then signed deeply and said “God is great” and, since this was a stranger, I simply nodded in agreement. I understood what she meant and I also didn’t want to get into an argument with a stranger on a dock. What she saw was a scene made for her by a creator who she called God. She thought she was seeing His hand in the waves, the hills, the birds, the light. She thought that she was seeing God through nature.

In the end, we agreed. What she was trying to say to me was that she thought what we were seeing together was breathtaking, which was true, we just had a different perspective. I think mine is far more beautiful than a creator. I look at the Puget Sound and I see the randomness of The Universe that, hundreds of years ago, began to create the necessary components for stars, which warm our home. The Sun just so happened to form and Earth came together just in the perfect spot for liquid water to occur, giving life a fighting chance. That water froze and flowed and changed the face of the planet, changed where my ancestors came and went, changed my life. The choices of people who would never know me or imagine me made it possible for me to even exist on this random planet.

I looked at the beauty of the Puget Sound as I stood there with this woman and felt awe. I was blessed with life thanks to events out of my control and that is what I worship. I thank the Universe for existing and Life for allowing me to experience it. I would never credit such glory to anything but nature and my heart hurt slightly for the woman who would never bother to learn about what really had to happen for us to be standing there together, looking at the river otters gliding through the water, because she thought she already knew. She thought it was a gift from God.

I said my goodbye and began to walk, Lighting Crashes by Live playing in my headphones. Others had stopped to watch the river otters in the sunset-stained water and I wondered how they saw the moment. I wondered if they were even thinking about it.

Later on, I was alone on the trail and saw the river otter again, this time swimming in a water hole shaded by birch trees. I had the moment to myself this time and didn’t waste it thinking about glaciers or god. This time, I watched the otter glide between flustered geese and ducks. I took note of how his nose popped up and down as he swam and how the color of his coat matched the logs that he slid past.

The sun has started to come out and seems to promise another beautiful evening walk. I can’t wait to see what the universe has for me to stumble upon today.

Hey, friends, how’s it going? I just woke up so this post might seem like I’m tired and that’s because I am. My Grandma is having me paint her fence today and I want to get it done early because I’m using the money to get my cheese nips pierced. Anyway.

So, I’m a Member of the Church of Satan, which was founded in 1966 by High Priest Anton LaVey. Satanism is a religion of individuals, which means the Church doesn’t take stances on ideals that might be coming up through the ages such as politics. One thing they do stand by, though, is the hard separation of Church and State- they even pay their taxes!

Often times, we get confused with The Satanic Temple, which is very different. That’s like confusing “The Room” with “Room”. They veeeery different movies. In my research, I’ve found that The Satanic Temple was founded in order to push the government’s buttons. During an interview with The New York Times, Malcom Jerry, one of the co-founders, said that he wanted to create a religion “that met all the Bush administration’s criteria for receiving funds, but was repugnant to them”. The Temple was founded in 2012 and began demonstrations in 2013.

Here are their tenets:

One should strive to act with compassion and empathy towards all creatures in accordance with reason.

The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.

Beliefs should conform to our best scientific understanding of the world. We should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit our beliefs.

People are fallible. If we make a mistake, we should do our best to rectify it and remediate any harm that may have been caused.

Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

Now, though I don’t agree with The Satanic Temple, nor do I wish to shit on them, I don’t need politics in my religion. But, I’m not here to talk about me today. It’s time, instead, for the latest entry in…

Today, we are speaking to Tim Miller, who is a member of The Satanic Temple. Tim is also author with titles such as Satan’s Highway, Snuff Film, and Coulrophobia but he did NOT direct Deadpool. According to his bio, “Tim Miller is a horror author with over 40 books in print in the U.S. and Germany. He lives in Texas which provides him lots of scary locations and ideas to pass on to his readers. His trusty sidekick, a chihuahua named Sancho, sits by his side and supervises his writing activities”.

Tim can be found on Twitter and probably other social media platforms, but I know him from Twitter, so. According to his website, Timmiller.org, he loves interacting with fans so go bug him.

These girls both look like Charlie from Supernatural!

So, please put your hands together for the wonderful Tim Miller!

1) How do you define Satan?

To me Satan is the symbol of rebellion and nonconformity. It means to be our best selves and walk our own path. Not the path everyone else is walking, or telling us to walk.

2) Do any of your family know you’re a Satanist?

My wife and kids know, though not sure if they realize how serious I take it. THey realize I’m a non-theist so I’m not out sacrificing goats which is the important thing!

3) Do you have any creative projects you are currently working on?

I’m writing a book right now called Texas T-Rex where government experiments on genetically engineered dinosaurs go horribly wrong.

4) If the Evil Wizard that haunts this blog told you that he was forcing you to live either 100 years in the past or 100 years in the future, which would you pick and why?

Oh god, I’m not sure which would be worse. I know the past was pretty bad, so let’s go with the future and hope we’ve evolved past our current dystopian hellscape.

5) What made you decide to join The Satanic Temple?

I’ve known about them and their work for a few years. I joined both TST and LaVeyan Facebook groups over time and thought of getting involved a few years ago, but was concerned about it coming back on my writing career as a Satanist. With everything that has happened in the world the past few years, I wanted to do more to get involved, that it was more important than ever to fight for free speech and equality now, but didn’t want to be overtly political like 3/4 of the people online. So I went back to the TST, did more reading and talking to members and decided this would be the way to go.

6) What are your three favorite scary movies?

Hmm, I like so many Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Sinister, and Martyrs.

7) What in your life are you the most proud of?

I would say my kids, my books I’ve written and my service in the Marines years ago.

8) What is your biggest phobia?

SNAKES!

9) How do you celebrate Halloween?

We usually try to go all out. I set up a table with a fake dead body in our driveway and dress up while wife hands out candy and we scare kids. It’s a lot of fun. Last year it rained though, so cut down on our festivities.

10) What is your go-to karaoke song?

Oh hell I haven’t done Karaoke in so long! I wouldn’t even know what they play anymore. Probably something 80s or 90s.

That’s all for today, folks! I have to get ready to paint a fence in the hot, hot sun. Yay?

Finally, we have made it to the deepest pits of Hell where those who committed the sin of Pride reside. Pride is considered to be the most serious of the Seven Deadly Sins, as well as the seed in which all of the other Deadly Sins stem from. St. Augustine had this to say about Pride:

“It was Pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels”

Image from the British Museum

Pride is also referred to as Hubris and Vanity. When Dante and Virgil get down to this final level of Hell, they see that the sinners are destined to walk with large stone slabs on their neck so that they are forever bowing. Another source states that those who commit this sin will be “broken on the wheel”, which refers to an executions method used in the 18th century.

The How Stuff Works website describes The Wheel as follows:

“One of the most horrible wheel tortures was akin to crucifixion. The victim would have the bones in all four limbs broken in two places by strikes from an iron bar. Then, the shattered limbs were threaded through the spokes of a large wheel. Finally, the wheel would be attached to the top of a tall wooden pole and left out in the sun for days. The victim might be alive for hours, enduring the agony of his or her mangled arms and legs and the relentless sun, not to mention the attentions of crows [source: Hunt]”.

So how does The Church define Pride? According to Deadlysins.com, Pride is “excessive belief in one’s own abilities, that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the grace of God”. Another site calls Pride the “Anti-God” state while Aristotle defined it by saying “shaming the victim, not because of anything that happened to the committer or might happen to the committer, but merely for the committer’s own gratification”.

It seems that the definitions have changed slightly over the years, though the underlying message remains the same. You’re going to Hell because you put your faith in yourself more than you put your faith in God.

Okay, guys, I can hear you all giggling. Yes, we Satanists obviously put our faith in ourselves over God because 1) we don’t think God is real and 2) we know that the only person we can rely in is ourselves. The reason The Church made Pride a Deadly Sin is because they need people to need them. They need to make people believe that God is the reason for their success in life so thanks must be given or all will be taken away and you will be sent to Hell.

The Satanist knows that there is nothing wrong with Pride. It’s one of my favorite sins because there’s not a huge negative side to this Sin other than coming off like an asshole. I mean, being too big of an asshole can totally ruin your life, so I guess my word of caution here is “Don’t be an asshole about it”. You’re welcome.

Be proud of yourself, damn it. I’m proud of myself. I’m proud of my lighting design and teaching careers. I’m proud to be a Member of the Chruch of Satan. I’m also proud of my family’s achievements such as my little brother’s sports ball wins and that my little sister got into the fraternity she applied to. As long as you don’t become an asshole, you’ll be fine.

That’s all for this one, kiddos! Watch out for some sweet Infernal Interviews as well as whatever else is on my mind. Let me know if there’s anything in particular you’d like me to cover.

Hello, My Dearest Devils, and welcome back! I am excited to continue down the path, further into the torturous realm of “sinners”, or so they were labeled by The Church in order to sway the public’s opinion of them. As we enter the fourth level, we are ignored.

The souls here are too preoccupied with pushing massive weights at each other in a slow, unending joust. One group are the souls that hoarded possessions while the others spent it without thought and are now watched over by Pluto. Here, we see many prominent Cardinals and Popes.

This is the last circle we will enter with our friend Dante as this is the last that corresponds with our Seven Deadly Sins, besides Anger, so we might visit when that pops us for us as Rage. If you guys enjoy this series, we can always come back and complete the tour of Hell. If that goes well, I can do a series on The Seven Heavenly Virtues, too, just for fun.

But, for now, let’s talk about Greed. To be honest, I think this one could be lumped up with Envy or, again, Lust, but that’s based off the definition found on this website Deadlysins.com. It says:

“Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness” -DeadlySins.com

See? Seems like Lust or Envy to me, so I’m going to base this entry off the definition from Dante:

“Here, more than elsewhere, I saw multitudes
to every side of me; their howls were loud
while, wheeling weights, they used their chests to push.
They struck against each other; at that point,
each turned around and, wheeling back those weights,
cried out, ‘Why do you hoard?” “Why do you squander?”
So did they move around the sorry circle
from left and right to the opposing point;
again, again they cried their chant of scorn;
and so, when each of them had changed positions,
he circled halfway back to his next joust.” (Inf. VII, 25-36)

Here, Greed is defined as keeping too much for yourself and also spending all you have, which is interesting because it seems like there’s no escaping it then. Also, don’t worry, charitable donation to The Church doesn’t count and will actually help you get into Heaven!

Let’s break it down now.

As I have said before, and will say again, Indulgence not Compulsion! It’s okay to collect, but don’t get crazy, right? Unless its books and you’re taking care of them, because that’s a library and bitches love libraries.

So, a wonderful author and friend of mine, Logospilgrim, collects vintage toys, or it may be toys in general… or maybe just cool 70’s stuff. I think it’s all of those, actually. Well, she collects these things that make her happy! Everything moves her in some way and being around them becomes a sort of ritual time for her.

For me, its posters of shows I’ve worked on in the past few years. I’m really proud of each show I’ve done and looking at the posters can give me just the boost of confidence I need.

I also know a family who keeps everything. They have just all this crap that they don’t need and there’s crap all over the floors and it’s not clean and UGH. I hate it I can’t go there anymore because I just feel so sicked out and I’m afraid of what it looks like now. I shudder at the thought.

There’s the big difference. Satanists know that collecting items that mean something to you, or that brings you joy in some way, is totally fine, but you can’t let it take over your life. Well, unless you’re Reverend Campbell because people keep just sending him cigars and he just can’t help it at this point.

Then there’s the other side of the fight between the Greedy A-holes in Hell. Those who spend more on themselves than The Church thought they should. This just seems like a ploy to get more money to The Church to be honest, though I can get behind the message.

Obviously it’s your money and you shouldn’t listen to me, a 24-year-old child, on finances. That being said, I do know that you should save in case there are unforeseen bumps in the road or if there are things you see that you decide you want. Maybe you want a nicer car or you car breaks down. Either way, you need money.

But you can still treat yourself as long as you stay within your means. As I said in a previous post, my treat is a McChicken. I really love the damn things and it just so happens that they’re very cheap, though then I have a problem of slipping into Gluttony!

That’s all for this post, my friends, though I hope to have a new Infernal Interview for you soon!

Alright, friends, this is day two of my Seven Deadly Sins. As we continue our spiraling staircase down into Hell alongside our friend Dante, we come to a ghastly site. Cerberus watches over an unending storm of ice that rains upon the heads of those consumed by the sin Gluttony while they were alive. Here, in Hell, they are face down in a “vile slush” which symbolizes the personal degradation of one who overindulged in food, drink and other worldly pleasures, while unable to see others lying nearby. This torture is designed to mimic their cold and selfish nature while on Earth.

I did not draw this, it’s far too good.

Date’s Inferno is so cool, you guys have got to check it out.

The website deadlysins.com defines Gluttony as “an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires”, which could just be stuck into Lust if you ask me, but nobody did so I’ll keep writing.

What I get when I read about this Sin is that there’s no getting out of it anymore, at least in this day and age. We consume far more than we require of far more than just food. I mean, yeah, we all over eat (I did yesterday), but we are also consuming natural resources faster than we should, though that’s more a few really wealthy people who want to get more wealthy.

We consume media in large amounts and I know that’s damn true because we all have Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or whatever you use to show the world how happy your life is. I check Twitter a lot because I get bored, so I’m right there with you.

Here’s the kicker: Satanists don’t care. That’s not to say that we don’t care about the environment or eating too much and gaining weight or how much we check our phones, we just don’t care what you do.

As Satanists, we have our own set of Sins, the Ninth being “Lack of Aesthetic”. This just means that you have a look in mind that will allow you the greatest Lesser Magic abilities you can at any time… at least that’s how my brain takes it. We also practice Indulgence not Compulsion as the only thing that should be dictating our lives is ourselves. These two things combined makes it nearly impossible for a Satanist to be a glutton, but we may allow ourselves to be gluttonous from time to time. Let me explain…

When I was 13 I was driving in the front seat with my mom and my little sister was in the back seat. She was doing something (I can’t remember) to annoy me at the time and I was giving it back, only far more mean because I was a teenager and also older. My Mom was trying to get us to stop when I seemingly crossed a line in the sand. She pulled over, stopped, smacked me across the face and said,

“You’re being a bitch. You’re not a bitch, but you’re being a bitch”

This has always stuck with me because it is so true! The meaning of the quote and that I was being a bitch, I’m sure I was. But after everything I learned two things: 1) My mom can slap hard and 2) You can do something without letting it define you.

I love McChickens. I know, how freaking gross is that? I don’t know why but they’re just so good and they’re even better when you’re drunk or hung over. I admit that there was a time where I ate a few too many of them while also not working out enough to counter their nasty, so I gained some weight. I’m 5’8″ and was around 155, which was not part of the aesthetics I wanted to present. So, I stopped getting them as much and started walking more.

Oh, I also HATE working out so instead I just walk around my town and listen to music. Now, I’m 140 and that looks a lot better to me. The thing is, I still get my damn McChickens, I just make sure they’re not fucking with my life. Sometimes I get one in a week, other times I’ll eat 4 and a fry because it’s what I want, Satan damn it!

It’s not ruining my life, nor how I want to look. I’m not hurting others and they’re only a dollar and some change after tax, so they’re not expensive. So who cares?

Who cares if you are on Insta a lot as long as you’re getting your important work or homework done as well? I don’t.

The biggest thing that bugs me about the Seven Deadly Sins, and I’m sure I’ll say this again, is that they are way too nosey. The Church had to control people and they made use they could do that by knowing everything that was going on in the lives of their flock and then telling them it was wrong. I honestly don’t give a shit what my neighbors are doing as long as it doesn’t hurt me, their children, or their animals. As soon as one of those issues comes up, it starts to become my business. That’s just because I would move Hell and Earth to save an animal or a kid. I can’t help it, there’s just this Beast inside me that comes out when either of those things are in danger… It’s a super power. I digress… again.

But go ahead and enjoy whatever your McChicken is! If your McChicken is getting them likes on that Insta, post a great picture. (Extra points if you tag me and give it the hashtag #MyMcChicken). If your McChicken is having sex, go out and get some! (Don’t tag me in that).

And every once in a while, if you’re worried you might be slipping into a grey area between indulgence and compulsion (because sometimes it takes a moment to check yourself) just go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, smack yourself and say

Hey there, my Darling Devils, it’s me, ya girl, and I’m here to give you my book recommendations! This took me a LONG time because I have so many books that I adore for various different reasons. Somehow, I’ve got it down to my Top 5 with a few honorable mentions at the end because it was hard to pick. There are a wide variety of genres represented, so there should be something for everybody, and I will provide links to where you can purchase these.

NOTE: I have NOT included any of the Church of Satan’s book in this list because I plan to do a literary analysis on each of them later.

Edwin with our books

So, without further ado, please put your hands together for…

Lauren’s List

This book is dear to my heart because it is (mostly) about Bellingham, which is where I spend most of my days, as well as other parts of Washington, Alaska, and Diet Washington AKA Oregon. This is a collection of short stories, poems, fiction, and non-fictions from a woman who was absolutely amazing.

Ella Higginson was born in Kansas, moved to Oregon, and then moved to what was known was New Whatcom, Washington with her husband in 1885. She was chosen to be the very first Poet Laureate of Washgton State and was hugely popular. On the side of one of the buildings at my alma mater is the phrase “Here is the home of color and of light” which is attributed to nobody. This is one of Higginson’s lines from her poem “College by the Sea”, which is a poem about WWU back when it was a Normal School, which taught women how to be teachers. Her name isn’t under the quote because nobody at that time could imagine a world where people didn’t know Ella Higginson. Actually, I have a tattoo of that line!

This was when it was brand new

Sadly, Ella was lost to history until one of my favorite people in the world, Laura Laffrado rediscovered her work in the State Archives. Seriously, what a character this woman is. I can’t put Laura into words, but there are interviews with her in various magazines. Just google her.

I really recommend this book if you want to see some amazing examples of poetry and prose writing. Ella Higginson was an accomplished poet with an unparalleled master of words.

4) I am America (and So Can You!) dictated by Stephen Colbert (Author of I am America (and So Can You!).

As you can see from the cover, this book is hilarious! This is written by the character Stephen Colbert played on his Comedy Central show The Colbert Report, also named Stephen Colbert. Sadly, this character died after Stephen left The Colbert Report, but his identical twin cousin, Stephen Colbert, often makes appearances on Stephen’s current show, The Daily Show.

By the time you’re done reading this book, you’ll have a hole in the side of your cheek from how often your tongue has been shoved in there. It’s all about what is wrong with America and how Stephen knows how to fix it! If you’re a fan of Stephen it’s really easy to read in his voice, which adds to the hilarity of the entire thing.

Sections include “The Family: So help me God I will turn this book around right here”; “Class War: Let them buy cake for a change”; and “Homosexuals: Do not read by glow stick light”.

If these sound like really right-wing talking points, it’s because they are! That’s the whole point of the character of Stephen Colbert, the show he used to host, and the book I am recommending here.

Beyond this humor, the text pokes holes into all of the arguments often used by republicans to defend their views. This serves as a humorous way to point out the flaws of Uncle Gary the he starts going off about the Lesbians and the Mexicans after be’s had a few at Thanksgiving.

Seriously, I don’t laugh out loud at books often, but this one had me roaring!

This book is interesting because it’s one of two on this list that I had to purchase for a class while I was at WWU. It’s a collection of short stories that pit humans against, not only nature, but their natural instincts. I’ve read the book through, but often come back for specific stories within the text, as they have the ability to stand alone.

A few of my favorites are It’s Coming, which is about a group of humans that are trying to escape from a monster that the readers never get a really good look at; Meteorologist Dave Santana, about a woman obsessed with a local weather man; and The Not-Needed Forest which takes us into a world where boys are sorted into “Needed” and “Not-Needed”.

What makes these stories so amazing is that they don’t explain everything. Allow me to explain. We as readers are shoved into the world where out characters live, but we don’t learn everything that they already know because, well, they already know it and have no reason to explain everything to an observer they as characters are unaware of. This is something that movies have a huge issue with, though the one movie I’ve recently seen that does it REALLY well is A Quiet Place.

Another interesting aspect of a lot of these stories is the perspective. Often times, the characters refer to themselves in first-person plural, using “we” instead of “he” or “I”. I was actually doing it in the last paragraph. This draws the reader into the story and makes it feel more personal; like it’s actually happening to them, too.

If you’re into some really fucked up stories written beautifully, check out this one for sure.

2) Aristotle and Date Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz

Just as Stephen Colbert’s book made me laugh out loud, this book had me weeping. It may seem like it’s going to be a philosophical book, which it is in some ways, but this is actually a book about two boys growing up together and finding love.

As you can see from the cover, this book has won many awards, including an LGBTQ+ literature award, so you can kinda figure out how the story goes just by looking at it. This isn’t a bad thing at all since there are a lot of twists and turns that put you on edge as you’re reading.

I don’t want to go too far into the story or the characters because I really think you should read it! Actually, I have a second copy of this book, so if you really want it, shoot me a comment and I can send it to you at the end of July. I’ll even write you a little personalized note if you want!

Holy, holy, holy I love this book! I read this book for the first time in 10th grade and I read the whole damn thing in one go because I couldn’t put it down!

This is the story of a family and how life takes you through crazy twists and turns, even when you’re already dealing with other issues. We follow a man through his life as he struggles to balance following his dreams and falling in love.

Oh, and the narrator is a dog. That’s right, folks, you get to hear about life through the best dog ever. Enzo is a wonderful pup with some wonderful views on life. This isn’t really a spoiler, but if you want to go in blind, don’t read the next sentence. Enzo believes that if he really tries, he can learn all he can during his time as a dog and then come back in the next life as a person. Also, since his human is a racer driver, he loves watching races and so there’s some really cool nods to real racing culture, if that’s your thing.

I’ve loaned out these books many time and have purchased it as gifts for people’s birthdays and weddings because I love it so much. I really, really recommend buying, borrowing, or checking out this book because it really fun and well-written.