I miss a few holes on the way to my aunt’s Easter dinner. Here’s what I missed:

In the course of those holes Zach Johnson birdies 16 and goes bogey/par on 17 & 18. He’s in the clubhouse at +1. I miss Tiger going in the water on 15…

What I didn’t miss: Bare Breasts :: Zach Johnson Wins The Masters

So a bunch of extended family have gotten together at my aunt’s for Easter dinner. I don’t even greet anyone, I simply head for the TV to see what is up. Sitting three feet across the coffee table, facing me is some lady who I’ve met before. She’s an in law 4th cousin of some sort.

I’m looking right past this lady to Tiger Woods on 16. In my blur I could swear all the sudden this lady exposed her large left breast. In shock I take my eyes off The Masters and I do verify that this lady’s entire left breast is exposed. I stand there with my jaw open and then I watch her pick up her new born baby and he latches on and starts having his own Easter dinner, out in the open. In my tunnel vision I can’t believe I didn’t trip over the baby stroller which I didn’t see…

Memo to women

It’s really nice you can bond with your child and I’m definitely “for” breast feeding. But please keep your private parts to yourselves. I don’t know if you think you are special or something but there must be some odd reason you don’t want to do this in private. You make people uncomfortable when you do this. Please at least put a damn blanket over yourself or make some kind of an effort to ensure that this special moment is one that you share with your baby and not the rest of the world.

The finish

“Junior” finished his Easter dinner and he and I watched Tiger try to catch Zach Johnson but come up short. I think Junior and I were both just as happy, but for different reasons. It was quite a strange look to see on Tiger’s face. He had a very empty and shocked look on his face like “I’m finishing 18 at The Masters in the final group and it doesn’t mean a thing.”

What’s cool about Zach Johnson

Zach Johnson is a regular guy. He’s very down to Earth. He played his own game plan, didn’t attempt to reach ANY of the par-5’s in two. He stayed extremely calm. His plan was solid and he executed it perfectly. Well done. I’m glad to see a new major winner, especially at The Masters.

Just a few years ago Zach was playing in Hooters tournaments. Now he’ll be a life long invitee to the greatest golf tournament in the world, The Masters.