Survivors can find friendship, encouragement at support groups

Wednesday

They want their lives to be the way they were before the stroke, although recognizing that may be too much to ask.

“You try to get back what you had, but it will never be the same,” said Eloisa Vargas, who had her stroke in October 2016.

“It’s learning to deal with what you have and doing some things a little differently.”

Many look for the positive.

“At least now I can talk and I can move,” said Jacqueline Grant, whose stroke occurred less than a year ago.

“I couldn’t move and now I can, so thank you, Jesus.”

They were among 11 stroke survivors, mostly women, attending the May meeting of Lakeland Regional Health’s monthly stroke support group.

Another group regular is Linda Crowley, a stroke survivor of almost four years, who also has volunteered at the LRH Bannasch Institute for Advanced Rehabilitation Medicine.

She met Vargas, 47, who was getting therapy there, and the two became friends.

“Her story touched my heart,” Crowley said.

Friendship, encouragement and practical advice are benefits they and others said they gain by attending the group.

“Seeing people real life, how they’ve improved and how they’ve been through certain things, you know you’re not alone,” Vargas said.

“It’s very therapeutic, sharing our stories,” said Crowley, who is 63.

Attendees spoke about what’s progressing or stalling in their struggle to become stronger and more independent.

One woman spoke of injuring her hand in a fall when she tried to return to gardening. Others came close to tears as they said they couldn’t have made it as far as they have without family members or friends.

“Whatever we do, we do what we can … We’re growing and we’re trying every day,” said Grant, 71, who gets outpatient therapy and goes to another support group at Central Florida Speech and Hearing Center in Lakeland.

Some spoke so fluidly a casual observer wouldn’t realize a stroke had occurred, but at least one couldn’t talk. Several used wheelchairs, walkers or canes, while others walked unaided.

Comments by a few relatives who are family caregivers of stroke survivors illustrated how a stroke also can change family members’ lives. Plans put on hold, disagreements with other relatives, fear and uncertainty of what lies ahead are emotions they said they confront.

Women accustomed to being the caregiver can find it difficult to let others, especially children, take care of them. Husbands used to being taken care of can be baffled when the roles reverse, said Kaylen O’Leary, LRH stroke program coordinator.

“A lot of people struggle with depression,” O’Leary said. “It’s very common after stroke.”

That emotion isn’t a bad thing when dealing with stroke, said Dr. Darvis Frazier, a neuropsychologist in the LRH rehabilitation institute.

It indicates people have insight into what’s going on in their lives and problems they are having. Often, he said, it foreshadows climbing up another step in their recovery as they find ways to tackle a problem.

Crowley and Vargas said they hadn’t thought much about being at risk of stroke before theirs occurred. That was particularly true for Vargas, who was in her 40s.

Even if they’d known the more common signs of stroke, neither appeared to be having them at first.

Vargas first noticed a pain in her calf, but it took more than a day or so before developing into a numb feeling in her leg. But then, she said, numbness spread into her arm. She struggled to get out of bed.

Crowley had dehydration and exhaustion a couple of months before coming down with what she thought was flu. Instead, doctors diagnosed a condition in which bacteria were blocking blood flow to the brain, she said.

She was in and out of intensive care at Tampa General Hospital and needed her aortic valve replaced, followed by almost a month of rehabilitation.

“It really was exhausting and very frightening too,” she said, recalling how wonderful she felt when she could walk to the bathroom on her own.

For Vargas, high blood pressure appeared to be the cause.

Common symptoms of stroke in women or men include sudden numbness or weakness in the face, arm or leg, especially on one side; sudden confusion or trouble speaking or understanding; sudden trouble seeing or blurred vision; a sudden severe headache with no known cause and sudden trouble walking, dizziness and losing balance or coordination.

Women, however, may have some different symptoms. Among them are fainting, general weakness, sudden behavioral changes, agitation, pain, seizures and ongoing hiccups, according to the National Stroke Association.

Robin Williams Adams can be contacted at robinwadams99@yahoo.com.

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