Monday, 28 May 2012

Review: Lamb of God - Contractor

100% Pure Garbage

Now here is one to get the fists of
wannabe gangsters and trying-to-hard tough guys pumping everywhere.
Devoid of anything vaguely resembling value, this is a complete waste
of time - I actually feel dumber after listening to it. From the
irritating "look how tough I am" vocals to the inane lyrics
and lifeless riffs, be sure a garbage can is in close proximity.
Meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator, there is zero
integrity to be found here. And seriously, does anyone actually
expect a song that uses the word "guaran-fucking-teed" over
five times to actually be good?

The stagnant ever-present palm-muted
chugging and recycled metalcore riffs provides a musical backdrop
that has neither any real energy or anything interesting. I call it a
backdrop because the main attraction is obviously supposed to be the
vocals. The vocals are harsh, but every word is easy to make out. It
is blatantly obvious the vocalist is trying his absolute hardest to
sound like a tough guy. Am I buying it? Not a chance. Not even the
drums are doing anything remotely interesting here.

It gets worse. These are some of, if
not the most, weak and shamelessly gimmicky lyrics I have ever
heard. Although I somewhat agree with the political message, these
are the worst. They are fIlled with vapid attempts at one-liners,
stupid analogies and metaphors, as well as the mandatory testosterone
driven attempts at appearing tough. Instead of rambling on about how
god-awful these lyrics are, I'll let them speak for themselves:

"Yeah motherfucker, let's take a
ride

We're rolling route Irish, someone has
got to die

Trick or treat, it's IEDs

So roll the dice as we leave

Cause it's 8 miles of pure luck

With more bang for Sam's buck

Guaran-fucking-teed, someone will bleed

Guaran-fucking-teed, someone will
bleed"

Although I feel most of their songs are
filler, I'm not denying that Lamb of God do have some pretty good
songs. This, however, is miles below filler. This is pure garbage,
with no redeeming qualities. The guitar playing is rehashed
chug-laden metalcore, the drummer is doing nothing special, and the
vocalist really needs to shut up. This is probably just an attempt to
cash in, and quite possibly an attempt to bring their political
message to a larger audience by dumbing down their music for the
average mallcore teenager. Whatever, there is no excuse for this
trash. Next.

0/100

Warning for those considering clicking on the link: You can't unhear this, this is 3 minutes and 13 seconds of your life you will never get back.