Masculine/Feminine Signs - Are we attracted to what we lack in our own chart?

I have alot of masculine energy in my natal chart. Four of my personal planets are in masculine signs, with Pisces rising, ruled by Neptune.
Which means that my masculine energy has to express itself through a 'feminine' body - which it doesn't like doing.

Men are usually intimidated by my energy or feel that their 'man-hood' is being threatened because I'm not what society says a woman should be. Girls are suppose to be soft-spoken, sweet, and pretty, as well as nuturing, sensitive, and submissive.

But, my ego (sun-masc/fire)
my emotional nature (moon-masc/air)
the way I think & communicate (mercury-masc/fire)
and my sense of beauty (venus-masc/air)
all reflect what society considers as very 'masculine' - and are not 'acceptable' qualities to be expressed by a woman.

Physically, I'm a girl and I'm attracted to men, but mentally, inside, I'm not the 'girlie' type.....and I know that I'm never going to be.

I get along really well with 'feminine-type' gay men. They seem to balance out the feminine energy which I lack.

So my question is, "What's a strong, masculine woman, like me, supposed to do with this masculine energy?

1) Should I be looking for a feminine 'straight' guy? Someone who would allow me to play the 'masculine' role,
while he takes care of things like cooking and housework?
(sort of a role reversal situation)

2) Should I find a guy with MORE masculine energy than my own?

3) Or do I just need to 'suck it up', put on a dress, and accept my female gender - and the role that goes with it, in order to be 'what men want'?

I would love advice on how to go about 'positively' expressing this 'masculine energy' through my feminine Asc.

*attached is my natal chart (both placidius & whole signs) if anyone is curious. I have included Vulkanus within this chart because it does play heavily in my masculine expression, being exactly opposite my Anaretic 29.51 degree masculine Sun, and both squaring a masculine Eros.
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Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

I also am predominantly Yang but with Pisces rising, I look feminine. But I am self willed and independent and live a pro active life
with no real male that I depend on.

WHat we attract with lovers is delineated by our Mars and Sun. As mine are all in yang signs I prefer the more masculine or active male. How we attract and what we love is denoted by aspects to Venus.

Your 5th house has Mars in Cancer and you can attract a clingy, rather possessive lover who is rather mother dominated, likes to cook, or is emotional and domesticated, or is generally yin. The Venus in Aquarius is the gay friendships.
I do not use the terms masculine and feminine really. I think they are misleading and prefer yin and yang. We are all a mix.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

I have three feminine planets. Sun, Mercury and Uranus.

My boyfriend has five. Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Venus and Pluto.

He has 4 water planets to my 1. I have 4 air planets to his NONE (though ascendant is Aquarius).

I totally jumped to the end of the thread without reading the whole question. *Face Palm. Sorry I missed the question entirely.

I am inclined to agree with Claire. You like what you like. That's what you should go for. Artifice of any kind (especially lying to yourself, and telling yourself that a preconceived idea of what your partner SHOULD be is going to make a relationship work) is going to bite you in the back. I hope that makes sense.

This is exactly what my original question was refering to.
I've always wondered if opposite genders attract, and whether or not a person felt more balanced once they coupled with someone
who provided the opposite yin/yang polarity that they were missing natally.

You two, as a couple, seem to show that it does.

I am curious to know if other couples 'personal planets' are opposite gender like yours are.

I'm also curious about the 'personal planet' gender comparison of couples that were the 'OMG I can't believe I was with them', short-term, didn't work out relations......if anyone wants to share.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Jill, not exactly relevant but I have a similar situation in that I am a man with 2 fire 1 air (2 personal) planets and 4 earth and 3 water (3 personal) planets but I have an aquarius ascendent. In highschool I was attracted to girls who fit your description (feminine ascendent but masculine energy). I do think we attract what we lack but also what houses are you planets mainly in, I have 3 planets in fire and air and 2 planets in water/earth houses. In terms of the opposite sex there is also what you mars/venus sign are specifically.

My planets are balanced though because my sun and moon are in air houses and my mars venus are in fire houses.

__________________All fear is an illusion brought on by not knowing yourself.

This is exactly what my original question was refering to.
I've always wondered if opposite genders attract, and whether or not a person felt more balanced once they coupled with someone
who provided the opposite yin/yang polarity that they were missing natally.

You two, as a couple, seem to show that it does.

I am curious to know if other couples 'personal planets' are opposite gender like yours are.

I'm also curious about the 'personal planet' gender comparison of couples that were the 'OMG I can't believe I was with them', short-term, didn't work out relations......if anyone wants to share.

(personal planets are: sun, moon, mercury, venus, & mars)

Its funny that you ask. When he and I first started working together (this was how we met), I used to joke that he was the exact inverse of me, or my shadow. I couldn't/can't believe how much alike and at the same time so different that we are. To be sure, we are both pretty gender neutral in the roles we take on within the relationship. I never really thought about the gender differences given how many planets we have in conjunction in our synastry. I never noticed that it was so equalized. Interesting Jill!

I'm not sure what i'm really looking for or what i need in a woman. All i know is i'm very attracted to women who exude power and gentleness at the same time. It's a huge turn off when they are too emotional though. That makes me feel extremely inadecuate. Also i react very badly when they are too dominant or controlling. I don't mind what you do as long as you don't cross theline of respect and privacy. I really appreciate it when people are not glued to me all the time.

"To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody." Quentin Crisp

"Our knowledge has made us cynical. Our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost."
Charlie Chaplin, in The Great Dictator (1940)

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Are not Masculine and Feminine labels that we've applied to the energies associated with each sign and planet?
I thought it had more to do with the expression of the energy rather than actual embodiment in the person... it is a matter of influence. Masculine is merely action, external, initiating, and Feminine is receptive, receiving, realizing. I always imagined it in the form of liquids in glasses. Masculine energy would be a liquid that is poured into a glass and the action of pouring. Feminine energy is the action of receiving of the liquid, and containing it. The person is the glass.

I hope someone responds to this because I have never reallly explored/expressed my thoughts on this before.

I don't think we attract what we lack.... that wouldn't make much sense... which appears that "like attracts like" as there is a mutual understanding or sympathy with each other/experience of the world. That's why Capricorn (feminine) likes Pisces (feminine) over Aries (masculine)....

__________________“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” - Yousuf Karsh

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Are we attracted to what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jill

So my question is, "What's a strong, masculine woman, like me, supposed to do with this masculine energy?

1) Should I be looking for a feminine 'straight' guy? Someone who would allow me to play the 'masculine' role,
while he takes care of things like cooking and housework?
(sort of a role reversal situation)

2) Should I find a guy with MORE masculine energy than my own?

3) Or do I just need to 'suck it up', put on a dress, and accept my female gender - and the role that goes with it, in order to be 'what men want'?

I would love advice on how to go about 'positively' expressing this 'masculine energy' through my feminine Asc.

Boy do I relate, I think like a man too.

My Aries friend is the same, she'll tell me how she needs someone super masculine to make her feel more feminine in comparison. I find relationships with overly masculine men too....challenging. I do better with feminine men, however I don't find them attractive. I finally found a nice balance...tough on the outside but total soft bear inside.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

In life, love and the pursuit of self-determined happiness, we continually seek to fill our holes. What we lack in expression, we seek out in others' expressiveness. This goes for elements, multiplicities, empty houses and signs as well.
The only times we don't want something is when we already have it.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuaternityEagle

Are not Masculine and Feminine labels that we've applied to the energies associated with each sign and planet?
I thought it had more to do with the expression of the energy rather than actual embodiment in the person... it is a matter of influence. Masculine is merely action, external, initiating, and Feminine is receptive, receiving, realizing. I always imagined it in the form of liquids in glasses. Masculine energy would be a liquid that is poured into a glass and the action of pouring. Feminine energy is the action of receiving of the liquid, and containing it. The person is the glass.

I hope someone responds to this because I have never reallly explored/expressed my thoughts on this before.

I don't think we attract what we lack.... that wouldn't make much sense... which appears that "like attracts like" as there is a mutual understanding or sympathy with each other/experience of the world. That's why Capricorn (feminine) likes Pisces (feminine) over Aries (masculine)....

Bravo; you basically made my point for me. And dont forget about how Gemini is a "masculine" sign with a neutral ruler, mercury, as Virgo is a "feminie" sign. Also, look at Libra, a "masculine" sign but Venus is feminine, and Capricorn is a "feminine" sign and Saturn "masculine"; etc., etc.

Personally, I get angry when people/society wants to put me in certain categories, such as feminine and masculine. I am just who I am; and that has been difficult enough. It probably stems from the fact that I am of 2 ethnicities(sp?); which am I more, white or hispanic?

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by serafin5

Bravo; you basically made my point for me. And dont forget about how Gemini is a "masculine" sign with a neutral ruler, mercury, as Virgo is a "feminie" sign. Also, look at Libra, a "masculine" sign but Venus is feminine, and Capricorn is a "feminine" sign and Saturn "masculine"; etc., etc.

Personally, I get angry when people/society wants to put me in certain categories, such as feminine and masculine. I am just who I am; and that has been difficult enough. It probably stems from the fact that I am of 2 ethnicities(sp?); which am I more, white or hispanic?

Blessings
Serafin5

Well thanks... blush. I wouldn't totally discount the idea that having more masculine or feminine signs might result in "impure" or "distinct" gender identifications, in the sense that one not be as traditionally masculine or feminine and it may be bestowed by their chart. If Venus is conjunct the Libra ASC of a Man, and in the first house, but his Mars is also in Libra in the 12th house not conjunct the ASC, I wonder how this would impact his gender/being/thought processes. Libra is a "masculine" sign, but I'm sure this guy would differ, or be more gentle, Venusian, in his self-expression, and maybe seem more feminine? So I guess I'm betwixt and between on the matter.

__________________“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” - Yousuf Karsh

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

I'm a male with Sun (in Aquarius) a masculine sign, and 5 degrees away is the Moon (in Aquarius) - 8th house: Perhaps I have feminine qualities from the Moon without subdueing my masculine personality. 26 deg. Solar vs. 20 deg. Lunar = am I 6 degrees more or less masculine or feminine?

My other celestial bodies on my star chart (to find the balanced ratio of masculine/feminine signs and planets known to rule their signs):

ASC in Cancer, the Moon rules this sign.
True Node in Leo, the Sun rules that sign.
Mercury in (49 degrees Latitude) Pisces and Ceres (47 degrees Latitude) Aries.
Venus in Aries, close to MC or South Node.
Eris also in Aries - the farthest planet in orbit, between Venus and Ceres.
Chiron the centauroid appears in Taurus.
Mars + Jupiter + Saturn in Virgo with Lilith also in Virgo (1 degree near Saturn: 25 vs. 26 degrees).
Uranus in Scorpio (29 degrees, abit close to Sagittarius/galactic center).
Neptune in Sagittarius. Pluto in Libra, close to IC or North Node.

Mercury rules feminine Virgo, which has manly Mars-Jupiter-Saturn and womanly Lilith approaches Saturn.
Venus rules Taurus adjacent from where it was on my chart.
Uranus rules my sign Aquarius and co-rules Capricorn-feminine lies in Scorpio-feminine.
Neptune in Sagittarius-masculine, then Mercury in Pisces-feminine and Neptune rules these signs.
and finally, Pluto in Libra with Eris in Aries: opposite ends of the coeli.
Ceres and Chiron have feminine qualities, both thought to co-rule Taurus and Libra. The sign Taurus is feminine while Libra is masculine.
And from my parents' family history and solar signs: Mother 10th house is Aries/Taurus (really), while Father 4th house is Libra but is a Sagittarius.

And my last word: I'm Aquarius and a male to the max, but I know for sure I have some "feminine" Capricornish and abit of Piscean qualities.

__________________ or , I have the same ruling planets: Uranus and Saturn. I see the Cancer rising. Aries in the MC and Venus was her name!

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munch

I have three feminine planets. Sun, Mercury and Uranus.

My boyfriend has five. Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Venus and Pluto.

He has 4 water planets to my 1. I have 4 air planets to his NONE (though ascendant is Aquarius).

I totally jumped to the end of the thread without reading the whole question. *Face Palm. Sorry I missed the question entirely.

I am inclined to agree with Claire. You like what you like. That's what you should go for. Artifice of any kind (especially lying to yourself, and telling yourself that a preconceived idea of what your partner SHOULD be is going to make a relationship work) is going to bite you in the back. I hope that makes sense.

Yes I do not think there are any hard and fast rules and we attract what we attract according to the Mars Venus Moon and Sun for both sexes, and all the other aspects such as 5th house ruler and planets and then the 7th house for committed relations. It is complex and we all have an image in our minds about what we are attracted to and it can be quite sub-conscious and comes from our childhood figures and many other elements.

Your boyfriend has Leo on the 7th and where his Sun is and its aspects will show his partnerships. He has Gemini on the 5th cusp I am assuming and whatever planets are connected there and to Mercury will show his lovers. That it is air sign fits with your air elements in that way...

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

familiarity breeds contempt.
seriously ~ look at your chart ~ look at the chart of "other" whom you are in relationship ~ friend or lover.
do you maintain long standing relationships with those who are "just like you?"
boring. seldom do the evolved stay in these couplings. the dynamics of what we lack in our chart are significant and provide fuel for becoming better integrated and fulfilled person.
some folks choose to affiliate with others who are "just like me" ~ but they end up in dead end relations that stagnate.
just look at charts, folks. it's all spelled out.
always is, always will be....
we form the most meaningful unions (friends/love/coworkers) with those who got something we don't.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaeMae

familiarity breeds contempt.
seriously ~ look at your chart ~ look at the chart of "other" whom you are in relationship ~ friend or lover.
do you maintain long standing relationships with those who are "just like you?"
boring. seldom do the evolved stay in these couplings. the dynamics of what we lack in our chart are significant and provide fuel for becoming better integrated and fulfilled person.
some folks choose to affiliate with others who are "just like me" ~ but they end up in dead end relations that stagnate.
just look at charts, folks. it's all spelled out.
always is, always will be....
we form the most meaningful unions (friends/love/coworkers) with those who got something we don't.

by familiarity do you mean like... same elements? also, I find I'm more inclined to approach those who I am more familiar with by innate tendency, out of comfort. I have Cancer ASC so that's probably part of it, but everybody is different. I guess to really undertand why we are attracted to whom and why, from an astrological pov, then we would want to look at the basics, Venus and Mars, and work from there. If we use that system, then "masculine" is appealing to "masculine." I don't know if saying "I have more masculine planets in my chart" means I will be inclined to find a) what I lack (which would be my opposing signs/elements/house importance) and b) that what i lack will be opposite in masculine or feminine (as that would be impossible with oppositions). Moreover, filling holes wouldn't pleasing include squares which again involve masculine and feminine working disharmoniously...

__________________“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” - Yousuf Karsh

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

I find libra men pretty feminine............. At least you attract feminine men, I attract super menly men lollllll but I relate to how you feel though my sun is a very female cancer sun, I have been told I am very feminine yet mentally very manly as well lol. I don't even fully believe in the gender divide and a lot is in our head and it is reflected through the sexing of astrology signs as well.

__________________
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
-Buddha
The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.
—Albert Einstein
Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough. We have a higher mission—to be of service to them wherever they require it.—Francis of Assisi

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Love2Know

I find libra men pretty feminine............. At least you attract feminine men, I attract super menly men lollllll but I relate to how you feel though my sun is a very female cancer sun, I have been told I am very feminine yet mentally very manly as well lol. I don't even fully believe in the gender divide and a lot is in our head and it is reflected through the sexing of astrology signs as well.

I find myself often times wondering the same thing... but I'm a modern astrologer I suppose, so I find the "masclune and feminine" to be more qualitative rather than quanitative. Though I cannot say that isn't truefor traditional astrology either. But these ideas aboutt he "genders" of masculine and feminine applied ot planets began somewhere with traditional astrology and served a purpose. I just don't think at any point it was about masculine and feminine completing each other, and thus explaining the reason why we might desire what we lack. Synastry in astrology seems pretty dead-set on "like attracts (and is good for) like." I found this cool psychological study which epxlores that, it appears form the study, reality that like attracts like: http://www2.psych.ubc.ca/~heine/docs/similarity.pdf

__________________“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” - Yousuf Karsh

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuaternityEagle

I find myself often times wondering the same thing... but I'm a modern astrologer I suppose, so I find the "masclune and feminine" to be more qualitative rather than quanitative. Though I cannot say that isn't truefor traditional astrology either. But these ideas aboutt he "genders" of masculine and feminine applied ot planets began somewhere with traditional astrology and served a purpose. I just don't think at any point it was about masculine and feminine completing each other, and thus explaining the reason why we might desire what we lack. Synastry in astrology seems pretty dead-set on "like attracts (and is good for) like." I found this cool psychological study which epxlores that, it appears form the study, reality that like attracts like: http://www2.psych.ubc.ca/~heine/docs/similarity.pdf

I would say based on my experience with my boyfriend, both approaches would be correct.

I think the obvious reason that my boyfriend and I get along is that he has a 5 planet stellium including the sun in Sagittarius and I have a 3 planet stellium in Sagittarius including my Moon and Venus. Both Stelliums are conjunct. Then the opposite signs flush out the rest. Thus, as I always have said about him, he's exactly like me but not.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munch

I would say based on my experience with my boyfriend, both approaches would be correct.

I think the obvious reason that my boyfriend and I get along is that he has a 5 planet stellium including the sun in Sagittarius and I have a 3 planet stellium in Sagittarius including my Moon and Venus. Both Stelliums are conjunct. Then the opposite signs flush out the rest. Thus, as I always have said about him, he's exactly like me but not.

That is so cool! my bfs libra stellium 3ed works super well with my leo 1st planets I find, plus his leo ascendent is the same degree as my leo asc moon and venus. So these both "Masc" energies compliment each other. I get called "alpha" by him though it's kinda funny cuz I am still a whinny cancer who scares easy! It is also interesting to note that our composite chart turns into a lot of virgo which makes it feminine energy.

__________________
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
-Buddha
The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.
—Albert Einstein
Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough. We have a higher mission—to be of service to them wherever they require it.—Francis of Assisi

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

This is really interesting, and I agree better a mate compliment you than mirror. Conjunctions are really truly helpful though, and much needed as well. Can not beat Sun Moon conjunctions however, but I'm biased I think they give a real lasting bond.

Re: Masculine/Feminine Signs - Do we attract what we lack in our own chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tokyo.lights

This is really interesting, and I agree better a mate compliment you than mirror. Conjunctions are really truly helpful though, and much needed as well. Can not beat Sun Moon conjunctions however, but I'm biased I think they give a real lasting bond.

Oh i hear you about conjunctions! They certainly are binding, for better or for worse. However, I feel like this whole notion of masculine and feminine in the signs as counterparts isn't really how astro works, plus it reduces love and affection to sort of a utilitarian objective, you know? like: you have what i don't, and that is why i love you, cause you got the goods.

I mean... in the case of body parts, ahem, that might be the case... but is this what really solely is how we would characterize attractions? And again... astrologically speaking, like does attract like: Virgo with Taurus, Sag with Leo... in a simplified sense. So in that way, "feminine" goes with "feminine."

__________________“Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness.” - Yousuf Karsh