61

45

66.4

71.4

70.6

.635

.654

88.2%

7.6%

95.8%

1.0%

1.5%

62

44

65.9

63.7

62.0

.598

.579

29.3%

67.3%

96.6%

-0.8%

-2.7%

The Cardinals have the fewest stolen bases in baseball because stealing things is wrong.

3

63

45

65.3

65.5

63.4

.595

.576

99.1%

0.2%

99.3%

0.7%

4.4%

I have a theory: puns take 15 minutes off your life. So by that measure, yesterday's MLB.com headline ("McCann Opener: Braves pop off lid early in rout") will actually kill you.

4

65

44

64.5

63.0

63.2

.586

.606

52.2%

40.9%

93.1%

2.1%

3.1%

The Red Sox are in first place. This time last year Bobby Valentine was the manager. So this is an improvement.

5

60

49

64.0

64.9

65.1

.582

.563

14.2%

77.3%

91.5%

2.9%

-2.8%

The Reds are second in the National League in Defensive Efficiency so that could be an underrated reason why they’re winning. That or delicious toothpicks.

6

64

44

61.4

66.7

66.5

.599

.618

44.7%

48.1%

92.8%

-1.9%

4.3%

James Shields: 1.6 WARP; 15 VORP. Wil Myers: 1.1 WARP; 13.2 VORP.

7

65

42

61.3

60.6

62.0

.581

.562

56.5%

42.8%

99.3%

0.4%

1.8%

It's a close one, folks. The Cardinals and Pirates are taking this one down to the wire. Of course I'm talking about the to see which team will get hit by more pitches (the Pirates lead second place St. Louis by one!).

8

63

45

61.0

60.5

58.6

.563

.582

69.7%

14.3%

84.0%

-3.3%

0.6%

The A’s lead baseball in walks because they wrote Moneyball.

9

59

48

58.8

57.8

58.4

.547

.566

11.4%

35.4%

46.8%

3.0%

25.1%

The Indians' free agent spending is getting some of the credit for their success, but I'd like to point out that Nick Swisher has a slash line of .248/.349/.404. So maybe not as much?

10

59

49

56.1

54.7

55.3

.521

.541

2.5%

19.2%

21.8%

-6.6%

-17.7%

The Orioles lost. Not only that, they lost to Houston. Not only that, Houston scored their second-highest run total this season. Not only that, it was their biggest margin of victory. Bud Norris though!

11

59

49

55.4

57.1

57.2

.529

.549

30.1%

23.0%

53.2%

3.5%

-11.8%

Adrian Beltre’s fear of people touching his head comes from his uncle whispering the dangers of it to a young sleeping Adrian. The uncle went on to make millions by inventing the GIF.

12

55

52

55.4

52.7

52.3

.503

.483

14.8%

6.1%

20.9%

5.2%

-1.6%

Remember when Eric Chavez's career was over? It seemed like only yesterday...

13

57

49

53.8

57.5

55.8

.528

.508

83.5%

1.9%

85.4%

-4.6%

8.2%

It's getting to be that time of year, again. Okay, gather round, children, who's got $150 million worth of unwanted former All Stars for your Uncle Ned?

14

51

58

53.1

53.9

51.4

.480

.460

1.0%

0.2%

1.2%

-0.6%

-2.2%

Don't want to say the Rockies are irrelevant but last week's issue of Colorado Rockies Magazine featured Peyton Manning on the cover.

15

56

51

52.8

47.7

49.1

.480

.500

0.6%

8.6%

9.2%

2.0%

-4.3%

Last night, Vin Scully called Mariano Rivera a "one trick pony" in a way that can only be described as complimentary.

16

53

51

52.6

46.5

47.4

.479

.499

0.3%

2.4%

2.8%

0.5%

2.0%

When the Royals started their eight-game win streak they were eight games out of first. Now they are seven.

17

50

57

51.5

49.7

51.6

.474

.494

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

0.0%

Mathematically the Blue Jays can still win 100 games. Realistically it's going to be difficult.

18

49

58

51.4

53.4

53.5

.484

.464

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.2%

0.0%

The next great Cubs team is now in high school. Or diapers. Get your tickets now, Cubs fans!

53.7

52.3

.483

.503

0.1%

0.1%

0.2%

-0.1%

-2.4%

52

56

49.7

48.8

49.0

.462

.442

0.6%

2.9%

3.5%

-2.2%

-0.7%

Denard Span and Bryce Harper went a combined 4-for-7 with a walk and a run scored. The rest of the lineup went 1-for-23.

21

48

57

49.2

48.5

47.8

.461

.441

0.1%

0.4%

0.5%

-0.4%

-0.3%

Can anyone give me a reason why Marlon Byrd is still on the Mets? Okay, how about half a reason. A quarter? One eighth?

22

50

59

48.3

47.2

47.1

.442

.422

0.4%

0.1%

0.5%

0.0%

0.3%

So, residents of greater San Diego, it looks like the Padres will miss the postseason again. I guess you’ll just have to go to beautiful beaches, enjoy perfect weather, and drink wonderful beer. I am so so sorry.

23

50

57

47.6

50.4

50.2

.463

.483

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

-0.1%

-0.4%

Mike Morse was last seen walking down I-5 with a frayed backpack, a trucker hat, and his thumb prominently displayed.

24

46

62

47.0

50.2

50.7

.449

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Brewers lead baseball with 80 errors, which is bad, but imagine if they’d signed Yuniesky Betancourt!

25

47

59

46.5

49.9

50.7

.458

.438

0.3%

0.1%

0.4%

0.0%

-1.7%

Wait, the Giants didn’t trade Marco Scutaro? Thought he was supposed to win the World Series every year.

26

45

59

46.2

46.1

46.8

.443

.462

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

It's nice to have teams like the Twins around to help make teams like the Royals feel better about themselves.

27

50

57

44.7

45.3

46.3

.435

.416

0.2%

0.3%

0.5%

-0.7%

-2.8%

Twelve and a half games behind the Braves, but Michael Young GIFs so !

28

40

65

43.9

45.7

45.3

.417

.436

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

I will cry if Alejandro De Aza catches Adam Dunn in strikeouts by the end of the season and so, I imagine, will Kenny Williams. If De Aza doesn't catch Dunn I will be happy. Kenny Williams will probably cry either way.

29

41

65

41.6

38.4

38.5

.376

.358

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Christian Yelich is hitting .243? Every time I look up he’s got two more hits. This just proves you can’t trust stats! Or that I only check Marlins box scores every eight days or so.

30

36

70

37.3

31.9

34.1

.329

.346

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Astros hold a 4.5-game lead over every other team in being out of a playoff spot.