5 yr old DS refusing to eat dinners for a month ..

Hi, I was hoping to get some opinions and ideas on how to help my ds. I'll give you some background.

He was 5 in sept and has just started school and goes all day now. About a month ago he had a stomach bug .... it wasn't a bad one but for a few days after kept saying he couldn't eat too much in case he got sick again. His eating habits have returned to normal apart from at dinnertime.

He began refusing to eat unless we fed him and gave him lots of encourage. I made sure he had meals he liked and gave him smaller portions but he has been refusing to eat the food he likes for about 10 days so I've been trying different things thinking he might be bored of the same things but he is now refusing to eat anything at dinnertime and has began doing the same for other meals too. It has been so stressful and upsetting ... we've tried literally everything to try to get him to at least try to eat some dinner and now he is starting this with breakfast and lunch I truely don't know what to do.

This is really starting to effect his health as he has constantly had a cold or cough and he isn't sleeping well but is always tired. His behaviour and attitude is appalling and he is starting to look ill. He is very pale and has circles under his eyes. He wakes up every night about 3am and is up for about 2 hrs unable to get back to sleep. He is tall for his age and looks so thin and fragile.

I feel like he is falling apart and I'm at a loss as how to fix him. I've spoken to him about school thinking he might be unsettled or bullied but he loves school and is very popular with the other children. There's been no changes at home so I don't really know what to do.

I'm very concerned about him and am considering going to my GP but not sure what they'll say. I'm not only concerned about him and his health and any problems that might be going on but also I have an 18 mth dd who is beginning to copying his behaviour at mealtimes this past week so need to get him sorted out before it gets worse (if thats possible).

Any advice or opinions at all would be gratefully received as I've spent so much time crying and worrying over this and I really need to do something different to help him ...... I just don't know what.

I agree you should have a chat with your GP. In the meantime, hard as it may be, try and stay completely relaxed at mealtimes. Offer him a small amount of food, and leave him to it. If he refuses to eat it accept his decision, but ask him to remain at the table while the rest of you eat. If he does eat, praise him but not excessivly. You don't want to go OTT or you'll only end up scaring him and making the situation worse. Chat happily with your OH and the children, but steer clear of talking about food. Even if he chooses not to eat at least the calmer atmosphere should encourage your 18 month old to eat as normal.

Good luck, I'm sure it's just a temporary glitch, and he will enjoy food again.

aww its awfull when they refuse meals first of take him to doctors to make sure there nothing wrong medically as he only just started to be very fussy with his food if there nothing wrong then he use his memory of been sick and want to avoid been sick he scared to eat
first thing you need to do is take a deep breathe and try to relax around meal times as the more stress you feel the more ds will feel and makes him more scared just make him his meal and dd and sit with them talk about everything under the sun but dont talk about food dont say try this eat this but say oh this potatoe is yummy i really like this beef etc just say it a few times each meal as and when you can. After a set time just take the plates or bowls away dont say anything do the same at each meal time see what happens if he says to you food makes me sick say no darling it was a nasty bug that made you sick not our yummy food then move on he will out grow it give him plenty of ghealthy snacks ieyogurt friut in small quantities. if meals are to much for him just offer him mini meals through out the day say a small sandwicj bannana see how you do

I can understand why this worrying you, when our children stop eating it is so difficult not to let it stress us out. I would book an appointment with your GP just to check that there is nothing medical happening. If you and your OH could go along together it may hep you to go in a speak to the GP first before taking your son in.

As hard as it try to stay calm at dinner time. Put the food down and then get on with your dinner. Talk about school, talk about his friend but just try to keep the pressure off. You might also want to food play or cooking as a way to encourage him to eat again. Making pizzas is a good way to do this.

We've had problems with our 4yo daughter since she was about 20 months old. She gradually stopped eating her meals, slowed right down and was taking anything up to 2 hours+ to eat a meal. We took her to see the GP and were referred to the hospital for monitoring by a paediatric consultant. She was diagnosed with extreme food refusal or neophobia and we struggle on trying to get food into her. She is tiny for her age, the smallest in her class by a long way, and is bumping along towards the bottom of the centile chart. We've been advised to try and get anything into her - whatever she will eat - eg cakes, biscuits, Angel Delight, milkshakes, smoothies, anything that will give her calories. Perhaps your LO may be scared of mealtimes, but he might feel a bit more relaxed if he has a plate of sandwiches (cheese perhaps for calories) and a packet of crisps and a banana or yogurt to eat at his own pace while he watches tv? Could just be a short term solution but it might help ease him back into eating normally? Has he said whether there is anything he particularly fancies eating? Our daughter often says she just wants a bowl of plain cheerios for breakfast (no milk) so she has these, and then has a glass of milk later. She too has had a tummy bug last week, and has lost weight (can't really afford to lose any though) and has been very nervous of eating again. She's just picking at a few bits, and we're going to try getting her back to school tomorrow and see how she gets on, hoping she will be strong enough to cope. I know it can be extremely frustrating as a parent and I often get really fed up and cross, but have to tell myself she can't help it and will get better eventually (I hope).