Proud Member since 1998

Friday, December 6, 2013

I like to go to bars, not all the time but it is a good place to go watch football and meet women. Now, I am charming semi-attractive individual but I notice that the opposite sex is more approachable when I am not wearing crocs, sweat pants, and a football jersey. It is the same way with book covers. There is nothing more off a turn off than a bad book cover (even worse than a man wearing crocs, sweatpants, and a football jersey.)

Sometimes a writer doesn’t have a choice if they’re working with a certain publisher; I have heard and seen some horror stories (not the genre) of being stuck with an embarrassing book cover. It sucks and is not fair but when I see a writer with a lousy book cover as a reader I avoid it like the plague.

I cringe and think why would you let that go public (especially self-published writers—who have total control of their books.) Maybe some writers have hubris that their words are so good that no matter what the cover looks like their genius will be detected as if the reader is telepathic and can see through the cover. But back in reality with a ton of choices, a reader gives it a glance and decides in a few seconds by the cover if they want to read it.

Sad but true. Book buying is very similar to picking someone up at a bar and both opposite sexes make quick judgments and decide if they would want to go home with this person based on ‘looks’. A book is no different, and while sex can be free (well, I recommend it should be) people are paying to take a book home with them.

If you want your book to find a home, it needs to look good and show off what is good about what is inside. The book cover should have a makeover: like getting the haircut, wearing clean clothes that are stylish, showering, etc…it is literary hygiene and should attract readers. Unless, you are doing a ‘purposely bad’ book cover (“Great White House” looks ridiculous because it is parody and satire) like a hipster looking bad ironically, why should we read your book?

It is one of those things where in an ideal world we wouldn’t even worry about a book cover or even what somebody looks like on the outside…lets pause for moment and cue that John Lennon song…nice right?

Okay, now back to reality people are shallow and expect to see a person or book ‘dolled’ up showing the best of themselves on date night, and when readers are looking in a book store or on Amazon the first thing that catches their eye is the cover. If your book is really good, give it the cover it deserves and get a haircut…I will also try to wear crocs and sweatpants less.

Great White Sharks Attack the White House!

The Federal Government is behind on its loans and Chinese President Xi Jinping wants his money. Having brought members of the China Task Force together in the White House for a meeting, Jinping, with the help of weather control and PETA, unleashes genetically modified great white sharks in an effort to force President Obama and the C.T.F. to make the tough decisions on how to meet the dear communist’s commands.

Can the C.T.F. escape the wrath of Red China and the great white killers, or will Obama be forced to disband the government and bring the country to brink of anarchy?

Paul and Thomas (the writers of G.W.H., not a folk group) have weaved a wicked tale of governments run amuck in this “grindhouse” novella. With elements of “South Park” meets “Sharknado” meets “Olympus has Fallen” meets “White House Down” meets other movies/TV shows featuring charismatic black presidents, G.W.H. illustrates just how far politicians can be pushed as they work to survive the horror of the ocean’s greatest murderers. America has bills to pay and China’s “loan sharks” are ready to collect that debt in blood.