Joe “Daddy” Stevenson’s return to the cage was foiled by everyone’s favorite not-really-gay gay porn star Dakota Cochrane last night, who submitted “Daddy” with a rear naked choke. For Stevenson, this is obviously a disappointment. His losing streak has reached five in a row now, his skills have seemingly peaked, and thanks to Ian McCall he doesn’t even own the best patriarchal nickname in MMA anymore. Though to be fair, that was probably because no one else had one. At any rate, he’s not going to reach the big time again, as the sport has passed him by. It’s a shame, but at least he can always hold on to the fact that his face will always be remembered. Well, at least the parts of it that were not obscured by his own blood.

(It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, with one lucky winner picking up a six-figure UFC contract and an immediate shot at Aaron Riley. / Photo courtesy of Facebook.com/TUF)

In case you weren’t able to watch Friday night’s marathon premiere of The Ultimate Fighter Live — or read our thoroughly detailed recap — here’s the short version: The porn-star will not be moving into the house, Jon Tuck nearly got his toe ripped off, and half of the 16 one-round fights ended via stoppage. Follow us after the jump, and we’ll show you every single one of those stoppages, in a series of GIFs courtesy of IronForgesIron. Enjoy, and let us know who you think will go all the way…

UFC President Dana White recently sat down with Spencer Lazara among others for a brief interview, and among the topics to come up was that of a possible Frankie Edgar/Ben Henderson rematch. Edgar, who lost his belt to Henderson at UFC 144, has been bombarding White with talks of a rematch since losing the belt, despite the fact that Dana has outwardly stated a desire for Edgar to drop to 145 and face Jose Aldo. When asked if there was any update on the rematch, DW had the following to say:

No, not yet. Frankie Edgar’s manager has been blowing me up for the last two days. I know he flew to Las Vegas and met with Lorenzo. They thought I was going to be there too, but I’m not. Frankie owes me a phone call. I called Frankie again yesterday and he didn’t answer so we’ll see what happens.

When asked if Dana was growing discouraged with Edgar’s persistence, White was quick to commend the former champ:

Frankie Edgar has given every guy a rematch that we said deserved a rematch. Again, my only beef is, with him being at a higher weight class, you have these decisions that are so narrow that people are on both sides of the fence. I’d rather see him at 145.

I mean, look at these guys at 125. Benavidez said it tonight, he said, ‘Listen, I used to crack guys at 135 pounds, and it was tough to put them away at that bigger weight class.’ What do you think Frankie Edgar’s going to do? Everybody thinks there’s no competition for Jose Aldo. I disagree…and I’d like to see [Edgar] go there.

Join us after the jump for the full video, which includes White’s thoughts on TUF 15′s Dakota Cochrane.

Yes, friends and neighbors, there’s a fighter on the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighterwho has done porn — and not the normal kind, either. Since it’s a slow news week, this TUF 15 sub-plot has blown up to monumental proportions on MMA forums, but let’s put this in perspective: Dakota Cochrane isn’t the first MMA fighter to pick up some extra cash by appearing in adult films, and he probably won’t be the last. Send the kids out of the room, and follow us on a journey through the porn/MMA continuum…

(And he sticks the landing on the celebratory backflip! Props: notohous)

It looks like the end of the line for Jamie Varner. The former WEC lightweight champion fought in the main event of Friday night’s Titan Fighting Championships 20 show in Kansas City, and lost a unanimous decision to a 9-1 Nebraska-based prospect named Dakota Cochrane. Cochrane came into the fight on just three days’ notice, replacing Varner’s original opponent Alonzo Martinez — who was pulled from the fight due to legal troubles — and won all three rounds on all judges’ scorecards.

After the fight Varner tweeted, “I gave fighting another shot I need 2 thank u guys 4 ur support! But I just don’t have it anymore. Love u all but ull never c me fight again.” Shortly after, he deleted the message, so who knows. The loss increases (decreases?) Varner’s record to 1-1-4 over the last two years. No matter what the future holds, Varner can be secure in the fact that he was once responsible for the greatest victory dance in the history of MMA.