This is How Batman Would Dress if He Was a Real Person

Batman is the ultra rich, bad boy, sort-of-emo superhero that we all know and love.

Forbes.com sites that in the real world, Batman’s family’s construction business, Wayne Enterprises, would value him at 6.9 billion dollars, meaning that he isn’t going to be dressing like a scumbag. This is often depicted in the movies, when he does take on the character of Bruce Wayne.

Based off of the evidence that he’s a freaking billionaire, I’ve put together a montage of how he would dress, being both Batman and one of the world’s richest men.

Also, can we go back to pretending that Ben Affleck never happened?

Stylish Goth from Gotham

It’s no secret that Batman is basically goth. He’s super sensitive, highly emotional, yet still brooding and stoic. Talk about confusing. In real life, I bet money he’d be the worst person to date. Talk about a damper whenever the subject of parents gets mentioned.

I imagine that his wardrobe is mostly the color of the darkest winter night. Unlike Superman, he’s not really the colorful, joyous type. His closet, which goes to infinity, is just rows and rows of black Armani suits. He doesn’t really seem like someone who enjoys switching things up.

Naturally, he’s tailored to perfection, but only accessorizes with more black items. Typical.

Flashy AF Middle-Aged Gentleman

Bruce Wayne is always portrayed as classy AF. You best believe he isn’t going to show up to a gala in any old ramshackle suit. Being that he’s a bit on the darker side, I’d bet that he’d opt for something that is nostalgic.

Being that he is ageless, a classic Hollywood-style suit from the 1940s should do the trick. A red velvet jacket and some fitting pants will have him looking like the ultimate playboy, who isn’t interested in the model standing across from him.

Forget arm candy. He flies solo to these events. His personal life is already something he doesn’t feel comfortable with. I highly doubt he’d show up with a chick for the world to see. He’s a private man. It works perfectly for his mysterious ways.

“This Simple Outfit Cost Me $4,000”

Batman seems like the kind of guy who enjoys a thick sweater beneath his chest hair. I imagine that his house is like -4 degrees at all times, so the whole “Oh, this old thing?” look comes in handy, just for warmth purposes. Forget fashion. He lives in a freaking cave.

Cashmere, wool knit, cable knit, he’s got it, and they’re all in one color: black. His fitted black skinny jeans are something new that he’s trying, because boot cut pants are so 90s. His character is evolving, after all. How else is he not showing age after being like 30 since 1939?

Timeless Masterpiece

Speaking of the 1930s, Bruce Wayne is clearly a timeless masterpiece. He only grows more handsome with age, like the freaking portrait of Dorian Gray. I’ll be the first to tell you that ain’t happening in the real world, hate to break it to you, B-man.

I like to think he’s picked up on some style influences from the past. Maybe he carries around a little pocket watch, or wears tweed vests under his jackets. I don’t see how you could live that long and not pick and choose the things that you love from each decade.

By now, he’s got to have a bit of a collection from all of his different looks.

Nothing to See Here, I’m Normal

When Batman is trying to be low-key Bruce, I imagine him strolling the streets in an all black ensemble similar to this. You know he’s rich, just by looking at him, but his outfit is completely simple and totally understated.

Fighting crime is the ultimate workout, so why not show off a little muscle? For this look, Batman, or you (because who doesn’t want to be Batman?) will need a solid pair of black skinny jeans, a nice pair of black boots, and a fitted black t-shirt from Trim.

What’s important to remember is that you don’t have to be Batman to look this damn good. If you’re super into not going full out goth, but you have a bit of darkness in your soul, channel your inner Bruce Wayne and start wearing all black. It’s a stylish, easy look to pull off, and everyone looks great in this color. It’s slimming and sexy.

Regardless of being a style icon, who’s your favorite Batman? All I’ll say is The Dark Night forever.