As if having to put up with everyone else's bad taste in ring tones wasn't annoying enough, now we have to witness total strangers writhing in ecstasy. Ladies and gentlemen, check out VibeTonz, embedded technology that gives users a choice of how they'd like their cellphones to vibrate. First out of the gate with this jittery new feature will reportedly be Samsung, with a model using VibeTonz that s due to hit the streets before too long. Now, cellphones can vibrate in concert with the ring tones they're playing, gamers can feel the recoil when they blast away, and lovers can simulate a heartbeat with passionate vibrations. Perhaps it will cost extra to download a series of rhythmic pulses which steadily speeds up to a pile-driving climax.

There could be a plus side to this technology, though—these new VibeTonz could be so pleasingly effective that they draw people away from ringtones altogether. We can only hope. Of course, dear reader, we re not talking about your ring tones. They're the epitome of coolness, of course.