Introductions at past Christmas gatherings have been comically convoluted for Judy Bowman.

“I used to explain, ‘This is Amy’s sister Vicky’s husband, Joel,’” said Bowman, a casting
director in New York. “Now, I can just say ‘my brother-in-law.’”

That’s because last month, Bowman, 42, married longtime girlfriend Amy Levin, 55, an executive
assistant — and the women will experience the holidays as spouses for the first time.

Many same-sex couples feel that their newly official status will make seasonal celebrations more
meaningful, and introductions around the eggnog bowl more conventional, putting to rest various
permutations of
partner or the dreaded
friend.

“The language about what to call each other is bizarre,” Bowman said. “We’d just gotten
comfortable with
partner, even though we’re not at a square dance or a law firm.”

She added: “Marriage changes things in subtle ways. We’ve gone separately to our families for
holidays, but other couples wouldn’t be expected to split up that way. Now that we’re married, we’r
e going to act like every other married couple: We’ll alternate families every other year.”

Because the right to use the same terminology as heterosexual couples was hard-won, some
newlyweds are embracing it.

“I love the word
wife,” said Lauryn Hegarty, 26, who works in Internet-technology sales in Orange County,
Calif.

Even before her marriage to Desiree Ekno, 27, a special-education teacher, Hegarty felt embraced
by her extended clan.

“We have a nice holiday routine: her family for Christmas Eve, my parents for Christmas Day. We
don’t have any uncles that make us feel uncomfortable.”

And if anyone does make an inappropriate comment — such as “the occasional weird cousin’s little
dig” — they give it right back.

After John Livesay married Oscar Ross in August, Ross took the surname Livesay.

“And when our first holiday card arrived, it was addressed to ‘The Livesays,’ which was very
touching,” said John Livesay, 54, the executive director at Conde Nast Corporate Partnerships in
Los Angeles.

Oscar Livesay, 42, is Mexican, and in the past the couple went to Mexico for Christmas.

“But this year we thought: ‘Why don’t we change it up now that we’re married?’” John Livesay
said. “We feel like more of a family in a whole different way — we even have a puppy — so let’s
stay in town and create a new memory.”

There is welcoming acceptance in the families of Chris Young, 40, an advertising executive, and
Perry Edwards, 34, who runs a wholesale jewelry business.

They do the run-up to Christmas with Young’s family in New York, and at, 6 a.m. on Christmas
Day, they will fly to Tennessee, where Edwards’ parents have a time-share in the mountains. But
their new marriage license doesn’t change the local culture.

“When we arrive in Tennessee, there’s no hand-holding,” Edwards said. “If we’re at a shop or
restaurant, I won’t refer to him as my husband.”

New York is a comfort zone for the newlyweds.

“My mom and dad send a holiday card that has included a picture of us since the first Christmas
we were together,” Young said, “and this year the card will say that we got married.”