by Janice Lloyd, USA TODAY

Amy Goyer invited her parents, Patricia and Robert Goyer, to move into her house in Chandler, Ariz., so she could help take care of them.

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"How do you do it?''

Amy Goyer says frazzled people beginning to encounter the complexity of caregiving frequently ask her that question. Fortunately for them, she does have some answers.

Her home in Chandler, Ariz., is also the home of her parents. She invited them to move in with her recently when her father's dementia got to be too difficult for her mother to handle alone. "They really depend on me,'' says Goyer, 51. "They deserve it, too. They've been really good parents."

Goyer is speaking at AARP's national conference in New Orleans this weekend about caregiving for elderly parents and where to find expert help. AARP and other organizations have developed new online resources to offer newbie caregivers a little TLC and tons of guidance. The audience is growing rapidly, AARP says: People ages 85 and older are the fastest-growing segment in the nation.

In 2009, about 42 million caregivers gave care to an adult with limitations (bathing, dressing, eating). About 80% of care for the elderly is provided by family and friends, according to AARP.

"There really is a growing need to help guide people,'' says Elizabeth Bradley, a communications director at AARP. "It's very different helping elderly parents rather than children, and we know what kind of help people need. The website is very interactive."

AARP's new caregiving website (aarp.org/home-family/caregiving) includes information on how to find local resources by ZIP code (for instance, a database of agencies providing in-home care), how to manage things like finances, doctor appointments and medicines long-distance, how to know if it's safe for your parents to live alone, how to talk to your parents about supporting them and how to build a team of helpers. There's also a care provider's tool allowing access for neighbors and friends to sign up to provide a ride or meal.

"People can also chat with each other and find others in similar situations,'' says Bradley.

Another resource site called eCareDiary.com was created by John Mills to simplify the lives of caregivers. Mills was the primary caregiver for his father for several years when they both lived in New York. His father had Parkinson's disease for a decade and died in 2007. Mills knows what it's like to try to juggle everything on your own, so he created the website, which has a tool that allows people to build teams of caregivers.

"I wish that we'd had the tool when we were caring for him,'' says Mills. "It would have helped us fill in the gaps. One of my family members has rheumatoid arthritis, so we're going to be able to use it for her care now. That, too, like Parkinson's, is a degenerative disease."

Mills says 4,000 people are using the tool, among the site's 70,000 monthly visitors.

He belongs to another fast-growing group: male caregivers. While women have traditionally played the role of providing care for others, more men are taking on the responsibility, according to the Pew Research Center.

In an effort to help out the guys, Homewatch CareGivers created what it's billing as the first online community for male caregivers (homewatchcaregivers.com). The forum gives these caregivers an opportunity to meet other men in similar situations, seek advice, share their experiences and provide peer support. Blog questions address issues such as bathing parents who don't like to be washed and how to deal with hallucinations.

Family caregivers of adults have higher levels of stress than the average American, and poorer health, according to the American Psychological Association's recent Stress in America survey.

"Many of these men are taking on caregiving responsibilities for the first time in their lives and are in tremendous need of information, emotional guidance and social support," says Leann Reynolds, president of Homewatch CareGivers.

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