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Black box from Gordon Brown’s government found

After years of intensive searching, a team of scientists believe that they have located the ‘black box’ at the heart of the Labour government during Gordon Brown’s premiership from 2007 to 2010.

Recovering the black box will finally give important clues as to how the government crashed so spectacularly after years of economic prudence while Brown was chancellor, and ten years of steady and mostly popular Blair leadership with only a small amount of turbulence in the final months.

How the country derailed so suddenly and so severely from the predetermined course has been a mystery for years. The crash investigation team has previously established from the available information only that there was a perilous ascent in government borrowing, a sudden sharp turn to the left after years of veering rightward, and then no further evidence of piloting of the country. At around the same time all communications were cut off, with the final words captured on the pilot’s microphone being “She was just a bigoted woman who said she used to be Labour”.

The research team have been searching constituencies up and down the country – previously without success – in a bid to to find out what happened to the Labour voters formerly thought to be aboard. Many of those lost are still missing, with increasingly desperate pleas for information about their whereabouts being heard, occasionally from relatives, but mostly from Ed Miliband.