Sunday, April 27, 2008

I don't know I would have made this a vacation destination if work hadn't brought one of us here. It was ok and I needed the get away. We needed it.

But Vegas is kind of soulless. The whole Excess is not Enough is probably ok when you're 25, but I'm kind of over it at my age. I can't imagine needing or wanting to come back anytime soon.

I like the sun - I'll give you that. Any Vitamin D deficiency I might have had is most likely gone. The weather was grand and I got some colour and though I thought I got burned, it turned out not to be the case.

We celebrated Denton's birthday here too. Nothing extravagant - just some nice meals. We love Cafe Bellagio for a very expensive, but very good breakfast. And we went to the Stratosphere. For those who don't know it is the biggest building in Vegas - like the Space Needle in Seattle, but this has rides at the top and on the outside of the building. I'm not adverse to heights, but had no desire to do this. But I watched him do them.

Some Brits were there and they were grabbing the rails of the observation deck, though they were nowhere near the edge - not that you really could. I've never seen someone so terrified. They about shat when I told them of the roller coaster that was up there that went along the outside of the building.

We didn't do any shows. I'm so cheap. The gay quad wasn't in full force - Bette and Elton's shows were dark. Cher doesn't start for a few weeks (not that you could pay me to see that). That left Manilow. Danke nein.

I couldn't bring myself to pay $120 for 'Love'. I can listen to the Beatles anytime I want and not have to see a retread of every single Cirque de Soleil show ever done.

What else can I fill you in on?

It is probably official: Denton and I are the only two non-smokers in the city. I don't know the percentage of smokers overall in the U.S. - but they all seem to visit here. Every single one of them.

For the life of me I don't understand Craps. I can watch the in-house tutorial 18 times a day and then go watch guys play in person (never seen a female play it) and still shrug and go, "I don't get it". It is like chopsticks. I can never master them no matter how many people tell me how and how 'easy it is'. It's not.

We stayed at Planet Hollywood, which ironically doesn't have a Planet Hollywood in it. You have to go to Caesar's Palace if you want to eat there.

Planet Hollywood is the new home of what used to be the updated Aladdin - where we stayed in 2002 (?). I wanted to say something about Garkawe sawing logs while sleeping by the pool, but wasn't sure how happy he'd be. I guess we'll find out.

The casino here still sucks - and they have Pussycat Doll gambling tables....run by skanky and scantily dressed whores dealers. Denton calls it "Boobie Poker". I say, I'll stop by the table when they have "Pecker Poker".

They pipe in pseudo-horrible music. I knew it wouldn't be good when the cab pulled up and "Fox on the Run" was blaring. I was proven correct.