Dumbass Pages

Monday, August 20, 2012

Playboy Playmate Smuggles Canuck into USA!

Illegal immigration is a major problem in this country right now and both sides of the political divide rail on about what ever their side believes on this very important issue.

When we think of illegal aliens in the United States, we generally think of Meskins, Guatemalans, Hondurans and all the Latin American people south of the border. regardless of your stance on the argument. Oh, yeah, we think of a lot of guys named Muhammad and Abdul also, but only because so many of them want to blow us to smithereens. The Meskins, et al, generally speaking, are simply looking for a better life for their families and are eager to get into Los Estados Unidos by any means possible, including being smuggled into the country in jam packed vans and 18 wheelers, risking life and limb. However, illegal is illegal, no matter one's intentions, so I do not condone smuggling or assisting any foreign national in getting into the USA by any other than lawful means.

Canadians, on the other hand, ain't exactly beating down the border trying to get here, but when they do so, they do so in style.

You gotta admit that a mighty fine way to commit a felony by attempting to enter the USA illegally would involve a Playboy Playmate. i wouldn't know for sure as I am an American citizen, but I do know that it would certainly beat the hell out of swimming across the Rio Grande or riding in an oven of an 18 wheeler to get here.

This scenario actually took place.

Mug Shot

A Wacky Canadian Guy, WCG, wanted to get into the US real bad. His girlfriend wanted to get him here real bad. WCG's woman is a Playboy Playmate! Were I younger and unattached and a Canuck, sneaking across the border with a Playmate would be a grand idea. I am not a large person, so there would be all kinds of nifty hiding places on a Playmate for a guy my size. I won't elaborate as some things are better left unsaid for fear of paying child support and alimony.

My lips are sealed.

The Playmate

The Playboy Chick is Colleen Shannon, who appeared in the 50th Anniversary Edition of Playboy in 2004, so this is not a homely woman. Why an intelligent, patriotic young woman (smell the sarcasm I am cookin' here?) want to smuggle a Canadian into the United States for Gawd's sake? All the dude had to was get a few papers in order with the Immigration Department Dumbasses and he could have come on over without a problem. Does he think he's Meskin or something? Or how about, you know, marrying the Playboy Playmate you fucking moron! There are worse ways to go through life than to spend it with a semi-hooker, prolly-Lesbian hot fucking tamale.

But hell no! These two Einsteins went the illegal route and now face up to ten years in prison for their misdeeds.

On the bright side, Colleen could always film a few "Prison Hooker in Chains " movies to keep her fans' "attention" while she's in the Slammer. I'm just sayin'. And writin' movie scripts.

On the flip side, I am sure that there are some very nice Canuckistani Playmates cavorting about the night clubs of Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver. can't you just start porking one of them instead of the American bimbo? I am also pretty sure than there are some red blooded American dudes who would love to be smuggled into the Great White North in some Playmate's cleavage.

Collen,the next time you feel the need to deal in human trafficking, do it the old fashioned way - in a 53 foot trailer loaded with hockey pucks or moose innards.