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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Title my Story . . .

“Sabina, you dawdler!”
Impatience etched Gillota’s voice. “Mass is nigh over and Lord
Raboc will not be kept waiting!”

Sabina nodded mutely and balanced
her tray of bread as she piled on another loaf.

“Enough! Go!” The head cook
flipped her hands and Sabina quickly heeded the message.

In the dining hall, Sabina could
hear the low tones of Raboc’s laughter. At least he was in good
humor this morning. Sabina relinquished her load to the table and
returned to the kitchen for more. The rowdiness in the dining hall
only escalated as Raboc filled himself with food and wine.

With her task finished, Sabina
waited in a quiet corner for Raboc to leave the room. Her eyes
travelled to the narrow slit of a window. From her elevated
standpoint, she could see for miles down the well-worn road. In the
morning sunlight, a cloud of dust formed on the horizon. Sabina
squinted her eyes. No small company formed such commotion.

Raboc pounded his fist on the table
and Sabina jerked her attention to him. “More!” he commanded,
holding his cup out. Sabina rushed to fulfill the task then took
initiative to clear up the used dishes. Each time she passed the
window, she paused, her curiosity intensified.

“More!”

How much wine would Raboc inhale? It
was still early morning, but Sabina obeyed without word or question.
Finally, Raboc loitered to the next room and Sabina hurried with the
other girls to clean.

On her final trip to the dining
hall, a loud exclamation from the next room stopped her.

“And what pleasure have I this
visit?” Raboc’s polite query contrasted his earlier tone. Sabina
slipped to the doorway.

“No pleasure, but duty.” The man
speaking was surrounded by several guards. Sabina’s eyes quickly
took in the velvet cap and fur coats carefully adorned with peacock
feathers. The king himself. “It has been brought to my
attention, Lord Raboc, that you have taken control of funds and
misplaced them.”

(the first tidbit of
Ancel’s story)

~*~

After hearing a sermon on Matthew 18,
the story of Raboc and Ancel brewed in the back of my mind for a few
weeks. This week, the Lord allowed me to finish the rough draft of
Ancel’s story (2, 133 words). It is not my desire to retell
Scripture or reinterpret it neither is this story intended to be an
allegory. It is simply a story to demonstrate forgiveness and a few
of the lessons that I have learned in that subject.

I had fun jotting down this story,
doing several things which are new for me: 1) writing with an
omniscient viewpoint (following more than one character), 2) writing
mainly from the guys’ perspectives (yes, I am a girl and usually
write in the viewpoint of which I’m most familiar), and 3) writing
a story loosely {very loosely} set in feudal England (little did I
know that my research for a paper on feudal England when I was
sixteen would resurface to help me with a piece of fiction).

Now for the part which is of
semi-importance: I really need a title. The working title was “That
Thou Owest,” but after writing the story, I realize the title does
not display the content of the story. So, I have a favor to ask: I
need a title and would like your input! Of course, to know the
content of the story, you must take your time to read it.

If you are
interested in reading Ancel's story, please shoot me an email at
withajoyfulnoise(at)gmail(dot)com and I would be more than happy to
send you a PDF of the story. In return, I ask that you offer some
title suggestions – and while you’re at it, you can also give me
your critique of it, if you notice anything that needs to be addressed.

2 comments:

Sorry I've not been able to respond to your previous email about the book "Where Faith Grows". This story sounds interesting! If you would like, you can email me a copy of both, and although I may not get the time to read them through, I can pass it along to my sisters and then ask them their opinions and ideas on them. I can't think of a title for this one right now cause I'm not concentrating hard enough :D. Also, you mentioned in an email about formatting your book for printing. Try looking up self publishing/print websites like Lulu, CreateSpace, Xulon or others, and they may offer free book formating templates which may make your work easier. See this link also (I didn't look too much through, so I'm not sure how valuable their templates are, but you can take a look): http://www.48hrbooks.com/Free-Book-Templates