Sex Based Marriages - By a Zen Master

I have already mentioned that many people marry to enjoy sex freely and legally. It has been said that marriage is a legalised form of prostitution. When it is found that going into sex without getting married or having it with different partners is immoral, then marriage is used to camouflage the sexual affair. Today we read inthe newspapers that a husband has raped his wife. This seems strangebut it is true. When a marriage is based on sex, problems are bound to crop up because very rarely sex brings satisfaction. People do not know how to approach their partners. Many do not even know how to perform it correctly. How many people understand the sexuality of the opposite sex well? I have written about these things in my book 'Sex, Breaking the Taboo', which gives a better understanding of the subject.

Who would believe that many marriages fail because of poor sexual relationship and communication about sex? By this I mean that many people are not satisfied with their sex life. There is a strong hesitation on the part of both partners to express themselves freelyon the subject. But it is strange that though partners do not dare to do or talk about certain things with each other, they do not hesitate to talk about these very things with others.

Who would believe that many marriages fail because of poor sexual relationship and communication about sex?

Those who make sex the main objective of marriage are very far from what a married life should be. I know of people who, when their partner decline to have sex, retort: "Why did I marry you?" or "Shall I seek it with others?" Then there is the question: Can't we remain without it for one or a few days? Is the relationship only sexual? If it were not for sex, would people get married? There is also another side of the coin. Should we deprive our partner of such a great pleasure for long? How often should we go into sex? Many people, especially men, want anal penetration. Should this be done? All these questions are conflicting in a conjugal life.

Such questions cannot be dealt with lightly. It is not a question of opinion because anyone can have his own opinion. Should we then respect them even if they are vile and base? Some people's honeymoon or the first night is like a rape. Such aggressiveness and violence, at the very beginning of a conjugal life, are not signs of love and comprehension. Where sex is simply a mere release of a load of one's energy without bothering about the pleasure of the other, how can love and compassion thrive?I have already mentioned in my book, 'Sex Breaking the Taboo', that women have more than one orgasm at a time. Therefore, obviously she feels incomplete and frustrated with one or two orgasms. Few men realise this and this leaves their partners unsatisfied. The question that arises then is: "For how long can a woman bear this situation and remain faithful to her partner?"

No two things are equal in this whole existence - each particle has its uniqueness. Both man and woman have a unique position in this universal drama. However, this has to be understood that both of them have fundamental differences which are discussed further; please click below

There should be a very comprehensive and frank discussion on the subject of sex before the start of a married life. There should not be the least hesitation to consider the advice of an expert on the matter. It is said that most people think they know too much on the subject and therefore, feel much offended when advised to learn more concerning sex. Many men think that if they can have more than one ejaculation per day, then they are experts in the field. In this context I think animals can do better. They can even have a longer orgasm than human beings. The truth of sex is deeper than the duration or the number of orgasms one can have. Remember that life starts with sex. Therefore,one should be very careful about it. It should be given much consideration. Otherwise we may find ourselves in very complex situations. It will be very unwise and sad if a marriage fails because of a wrong notion or ignorance about such a sacred art.

Even in the third millennium, sexuality is perhaps the subject of greatest taboo. Human being is the greatest miracle-maker. Every problem is created by us and the solution too rests in our hand. Man is sexual from head to toe, yet he wants to escape from it when the subject comes on the table. Every cell of our body has been made from sexual energy and sexual orgasm. Pleasure is fundamentally the same, but through the sexual contact, one touches such an intensity and subtlety of pleasure that we are irresistibly drawn towards it. The big question mark remains though we have reached considerable height in scientific research. Mystics, however, have gone very deep into the subject to discover the secret that lies behind the appearance.