I’ve Lost My Inner Monologue…

People use the expression, “I wish I could be a fly on the wall” to describe listening in on a conversation.

As I spend my day wandering around the streets of Budapest, I can’t help but picture my brain…

…and if my brain had walls, and there was a fly on the wall, it might go something like this…

What’s the difference between a sauna and a Hungarian hotel room? Nothing, apparently. Even with the windows open, all night, it’s still a crisp 25-degrees Celsius…

I’d better learn to like the sound of Wolf Blitzer‘s voice. It’s the only English I’ll hear on TV for a while…

No shaving cream eh….Five days’ stubble and lather made from cheap hotel soap could end badly…

Can you still claim to be “roughing it” when you have TWO types of facial moisturizer…..and a bottle of hand lotion?

Serbia and Hungary have one thing in common: Neither have learned to utilize a little-known invention called a shower-curtain! Paint takes eight hours to dry, and so does the bathroom floor…

How am I supposed to function on a daily basis back in Toronto without Goulash for breakfast?

This looks like a nice antique store. They sure have a lot of Joseph Stalin memorabilia. And I’m fresh out of World War II battle helmets. I think I’ll just settle for this authentic hat owned by a member of the Third Reich…

I have a friend who collects shot glasses, a friend who collects thimbles, now I just need to meet somebody that collects those little souvenir spoons and I’ll be every street vendor’s dream…

The letter “i” can make a huge difference! The phrase “To let” means “For lease” in Hungarian. Thankfully, I came to my senses before I made an embarrassing mistake….

“No, No! I swear I’m not trying to steal your baby!” Forgive me if I thought the sight of you trying to lift that stroller, with newborn in tact, is somewhat nervewracking as you stand atop a full flight of stairs. That’s the last time I attempt a random act of kindness…

Oh yeah, walk right in front of me. No, that’s okay. I wasn’t actually going to take a picture, I just wanted to see what the monument looked like through the lens of my camera…

Everytime I see a round-a-bout, I can’t help but think about how funny it would be if you replaced all the cars with people…

What the heck is “Absinthe”? Sure, I’ll try some…

Wow, SubwaySandwiches, just like back home! Should I get the vennison sub, or try the borscht sub?

There’s nothing quite like having to pay to use the bathroom…doesn’t matter what country…

I wonder if that guy, smoking his cigarette out front of the World Heath Organization building is aware of the irony…

To hell with Subway! Those guys are roasting a hundred bratwursts in a giant open-flame pit in the middle of Vörösmarty Square!

I’ve never been so excited to go to a place called The Terror House before…

Perhaps Nirvana was the wrong choice on my Ipod today. What’s that, Mr. Cobain? You wish you were never born? You wanna kill yourself? Dude, you are totally killing my Budapest buzz…

That guy is taking a photo with what seems to be a thousand-dollar camera, and the guy next to him is using his Nokia camera phone…

I think I made the right decision in up-and-leaving from that really sweet girl who made conversation with me at the coffee shop. But if the European Guide Book was wrong, and she wasn’t trying to steal my wallet, I’ll always wonder what could have been…

I got absolutely ZERO enjoyment from that museum. Sometimes, you try to force yourself to take in the culture, even if it’s to no avail…

Maybe I just don’t understand art.

Especially modern art. Yeah, really. Congratulations, you took a tire—a Michelin tire at that, and filled in all the treads with grey plasticine. Bravo! Have you succeeded in creating art? No. But you probably made the roads a little less safe…

Art is something that the perpetually unemployed youth do in order to avoid telling their parents that they aren’t actually working…

I’m willing to bet you wont find anything even resembling a gentleman inside that “Gentlemen’s Club”…

Most of my photos are of things—monuments, buildings, scenery, and don’t contain ME. That’s okay. I know what I look like…

That guy passing out flyers is standing there actually reading the flyer. You’d think he might know what he’s passing out…

I have completely lost count of how many Cafe Latte’s I’ve had today…

Speaking of Holocausts, I wonder how many evergreen trees paid with their lives around the world this Christmas…

I have absolutely no problem commenting as to the level of attractiveness of another man…

I wonder if I’ll regret eating that fourth bratwurst…

Why is there an armed guard standing in front of that retail shop? Ooooohhhhh…..it’s Louis Vuitton…..handbags, anyone?

Wow! That old dude that looks like Beethoven is wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs scarf! In Budapest!! I wonder if he got it in Toronto? Naaaah…probably got it at a thrift store….people seem to be throwing those away these days…

What is the origin of my desire to own a Medieval sword? I don’t understand….but I really want one…

How the hell is carbonated water supposed to be refreshing? Yeeeech. What a waste of the equivalent of 38-cents Canadian…

TWEETS

The preceding commentary is the opinion of David Fleming and does not represent the interests or opinions of Bosley Real Estate Ltd., Brokerage or the Toronto Real Estate Board. Therefore, Bosley Real Estate will not be held responsible and/or liable for any of the opinions herein.