Fashion Fades; Style is Eternal

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Thursday, May 30, 2013

I may be a judgmental b*tch on the outside, but I promise there are some serious compassionate notes I have hidden for each and every one of you on the inside. We can't be put together all the time, especially when life becomes a series of hectic hot messes...one right after an effing other.

Top Knot:

Went out last night and don't have time to rinse and repeat your distressed morning after blow out travesty? Don't worry, just twist into a top knot. I'm not judging...

Couture Tee:

Binged on an entire container of dark chocolate covered crystalized ginger pieces from Whole Foods? PMSing or not, don't fear. Just throw on that graphic couture tee. It hides all and is worth more than the handbag the girl next to you is carrying. I'm not judging...

Dark Stain:

Can't get off your chic lip stain from the night before? Channel Rooney Mara and darken it up even more with an extra coat, blacked out shades and a hat. Totally incognito. I'm not judging...

Comfort Shoes:

Are your feet effing killing you and screaming for a merciful break from those Louboutins? Slip on a pair of glitzy sneakers. Mismatched Miu Miu's knock my socks off. I'm not judging...

Maxi Hiding:

Haven't shaved your legs in nearly a month? Cover up your stems with a maxi. If you're really feeling deceitful, go sheer. Not even someone with 20/20 can pick out stubble through sheer. I'm not judging...

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

1. Never walk up to the club with 5 guys on your arm. The only arm candy you are allowed to wear is a set of Hermès bracelets and a hot girlfriend that the promoters can picture you making out with later if they set you at the right table of successful athletes.

2. For the men: If you're footing the bill at a $15,000 minimum table next to the dance floor and you're wearing Kenneth Cole loafers, you need to check your priorities. The shoe just doesn't fit.

3. Don't spill your vodka cran on the girl in the white bandage dress. If you can't keep your distance, order a vodka soda for God's sake.

4. If you're going to make out with a hot Brazilian, do not make out with the hot Brazilian with a Tom Ford Cherry Blush lipstick mark on his cheek if you're wearing Tom Ford Black Orchid. His girlfriend will be watching in Cherry Blush.

5. Stop talking sh*t on the bottle service whores. They're the ones doing the work for your free champagne. If it wasn't for them looking hot and flirting with the men at the table, your flute would be dry as gin, remember that.

6. Never take off your Louboutins and shove them in the little cupboard at your table just so that you can dance comfortably on top your table. Are you an idiot?

7. Do not mistakenly take the Persian girl's right Louboutin out of the little cupboard (that she idiotically stuck her shoes in so that she could dance on the table), thinking it was the matching shoe to your left Jessica Simpson patent peep toe pump.

8. If you accidentally take the Persian girl's right Louboutin and it doesn't match your left Jessica Simpson patent peep toe pump, put the Louboutin back into the little cupboard immediately. No fast movements, do not apologize. If she sees you do this you may get a bottle of Cristal broken on the top of your head for the wrong reason. Not because you were wearing a pair of Jessica Simpson pumps to the club, but because you touched her Louboutin.

9. Never wear a fake Herve Leger bandage dress when standing next to a girl in the real thing. This is especially the case if it's 4:30 AM
and you're waiting in line at Secret Pizza at The Cosmopolitan...your fake will not remain a secret, even to the champagne drunken eyes.

Friday, May 24, 2013

It's not a time to be modest, ladies. Memorial Day Weekend is the kick off to showing some serious skin (if you haven't stripped down already) for these warm summer months ahead.

One thing to remember if you want to be tasteful, is to pick what you're revealing and limit it. Want to show off your Brazilian booty? Cover up the boobies. Working on that rowing and have a killer back to show for it? Maybe opt for a serious back display and keep it balanced with a sexy cut out one piece. Did you just pay a visit to Dr. 90210? A triangle bikini is your best friend, just keep your butt cheeks in check with a modest bottom.

You have my full permission to show off your assets.

My favorite part to highlight this season? The back.

And what better color to do this than black. I found an amazing section of REVOLVEclothing.com that sorts all of the black swimwear out for you! I'm obsessed.

Here are a few of my favorite blacked out swimwear pieces out currently on REVOLVE that reveal a bangin' backside...

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Shopping around this season, I've noticed a huge abundance of black still lurking on the racks. No complaints here, black is my signature. However, I got to thinking about black sundresses...is there really such a thing?

When I think of sundresses I picture white linens, pale yellow and pink cotton, some type of "creme de la creme" crochet, etc. Black dresses that are short enough to be called sundresses get filed into the casual L.B.D. section of my closet, but maybe they deserve a second thought when categorizing.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm absolutely in lust with Isabel Marant's wedge sneakers. I think they're trendy, edgy, and hip as f*ck. I just got a pair of all white Isabels this past weekend in San Francisco and they're my newest favorite addition to my shoe closet. Moon shoes or not, on my size-Shrek feet, I'm obsessed. It pays to have big feet when it's the last pair in the company - score!

Isabel Marant's wedge sneakers are rare for a reason, darling reader. She doesn't want just anybody rocking these because I'm not going to lie, there's a lot that can go very wrong, even for the most fashionable of fashionistas.

Before you consider owning a pricey pair, I suggest you take some guidelines to heart...

1. Never rock a fake. If you aren't willing to fork over $665 for a pair of basics, I highly doubt the other pieces of your outfit will be able to keep up. No offense, but if you don't want to invest...don't attempt.

2. Keep your white clean. Unless you've chosen a solid dark color (black, navy, blood red, etc.) prepare your princess a** to keep your white clean - whether it's an all white pair or white and color pair. Out to the club? Avoid the sloppy slut's vodka cran. Roaming the streets? Watch the gum. At your friend's penthouse? Remember, not all penthouse pooches are trained. Moral of the story: be aware. I recommend wiping down your pair after every use, this is not a sneaker to get grunge.

3. Velcro up. I've seen it attempted before, a creative rendition of Velcro strap placement. If you're confused, ask your 3-year old niece to help you out. Velcro-ing up goes in order, left to right, and all the way up the wedge. The only Velcro strap you're allowed to leave undone is the top ankle strap underneath the top part of the shoe tongue.

4. Accessorizing for dummy's. Stick with the trend! These sneakers are hip, not elegant. Don't pair your wedges with a pearl necklace, even (and especially) if it's a classic piece by Chanel. Think Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Usher, or Olsen. Make it trendy and hot. My recommendations: oversized scarves, sick hats, and leather bomber jackets.

5. Mix it up. You don't only have to wear black skinnies and a bomber jacket with these kicks (even though that's my uniform). I love a pair of Isabels paired with shorty short sheer floral dress, a high-low edgy maxi, high-waisted shorts with an over-sized off the shoulder sweatshirt...get creative.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

After Chanel's Byzantine Pre-Fall 2011 Collection, I didn't know if I would ever fall in love with their costume jewelry the same way again in future collections. The Byzantine collection was so my style from the boxy shapes to the distressed bronze/gold, and not to mention...Chanel was more on point than ever, personal stylistic matters set aside.

However, this season for Chanel's S/S 2013 line, I'm past lust and on my way to love again for the costume jewelry pieces, especially the baubly bracelets. We're talking straight back to the essence of Chanel with clusters of beautiful pearls and simple chain to logo detailing.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I'm absolutely full blown bananas for the Louis Vuitton Summer 2013 collection. It's chic, it's mod, and it's so, so bold. The yellow is fabulous and I can't believe we had to wait this long for a designer to throw out such an incredible burst of summer. The checkers are perfectly scaled to the garments and don't give off that horrible "picnic blanket" feel. I'm obsessed.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

So I get it, it's so hard to look cool wearing rain gear when you're a man. Especially when you're in Southern California and totally not prepared for a 12-hour downpour in May.

Rain jacket? Only if you drive a Maserati. I swear, men driving a Maserati are the only ones decked out in the waterproof windbreakers...even when it's not raining. I saw three hot shots driving to work this morning, all wearing matching puffers. One of them even had his top down. Show off.

You better love me, I just gave you some sweet kicks to pick from and none of them are the "hipster" lace up boots (which I love, and I'm sure you were expecting). The three options above are perfect for our Southern California downpour and transition perfectly throughout the season. I even included Nikes...super cool, I know.