Friday, March 4

That's the place I am the most tan, mainly because I thonged-up my bikini on the last day I was on the beach. Oh and then I actually didn't tan, but I burned my ass.

Have you ever had to sit in a plane for five and a half hours with a badly sun-burned ass? The only relief is being able to shout out "MY ASS BURNS!" periodically so you can giggle at the reaction of those around you.

But anyways, the burn is all gone now, and a perfect golden-brown glow has been left, ahem, behind. It's my darkest spot, and so I have this almost uncontrolable desire to pull down my pants and show off the bum tan everytime I am talking to someone about Venezuela. I think that there needs to be places in Ontario where I could wear bikini bottoms right now.

And I have even more motivation to do this, because the rest of my tan is quickly fading. Pretty soon I will no longer be a visible-vacationer; I will melt back into pasty-Canadian. I refuse to touch up the tan in a booth- fake tanning looks so mechanical compared to the toasty glow of a real beach tan.