THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
Thank you.

NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

THE “SANDY” DIET

THE “SANDY” DIET

Over a year
and a half ago I quit smoking.It is
wonderful not being slave to this terrible addiction, I feel healthier, lost
that smokers cough and don’t get winded so easily.

I have tried
to lose the weight, but have been unsuccessful.It seems that to lose weight you need to cut down on calories and also
increase exercise.It is not that easy.When I exercise my appetite increases, and
when I eat less I don’t have the energy to exercise.

And then I
stumbled on the perfect weight loss regimen.I call it the “No power, spoiled food, nine day Sandy diet.”

Here it is:

The
hurricane which recently rolled through New Jersey knocked out power in our
townhouse for nine days.

On day
three, we threw out everything in the refrigerator and freezer.I was forced to eat only oatmeal and raisins
in the morning, peanut butter in the afternoon, and canned soup at night.

Cut down on calories….CHECK.

In order to
keep our basement from flooding, I had to manually bail out our sump every two
hours.

Get down on
your knees.Grab quart pot. Bend and
scoop water into three gallon bucket.

Curse at
Jersey Central Power and Light…optional.

Bend and
scoop, bend and scoop…10 repetitions, then stand, grab bucket and climb the
stairs.Walk to front door, open and
throw water as far from the house as possible.Repeat three times.

Exercise….CHECK.

We got power
back last night.I weighed myself
and…drum roll…

I LOST THREE POUNDS!!

Now if I can
just maintain my weight until we go through three more hurricanes, I will be
back to my pre-quit-smoking weight.RT- When I hear rap music, it make me want to kill something.

Congrats on quitting smoking!!! That is AWESOME! I wish my mom would. My dad did years ago. So happy ten more birthdays to you! :)

I didn't know you lived in the area where Sandy hit! I have been trying to find out HOW to help in some say or send something there or do SOMETHING and I am not sure how to go about it (other than go through the bigger organizations and I wasn't sure how effective those were really).

Glad to hear you have power again and way to go on the weight loss although that is a crummy way to have to go about it! Maybe if you go around helping bail others' basements out, your weight loss will continue.

Anyway, let me know if there's a way I can help from my neck of the woods!

I quit 38 years ago....immediately gained 35 pounds....sob......and I do not eat that much, honest......I blame it on menopause.

Tell your readers to help displaced people by giving 10 bucks or more to the Red Cross (and contact www.petflow.com to contribute to their "displaced pets" drive......they will ship food to shelters free.)

I wondering how many times we will get hit with a snow storm this winter and be without power. The power crews do an amazing job on getting the power back on after a storm. Climbing up poles in weather that I would not even go outside in.

'grats on quitting smoking. I still smoke, but I'm young and invincible, sooo...

On a serious note, I'm actually surprised you *only* lost three pounds during that time. Maybe your body was in shock and tried to store fat. That's what my trainer at the gym said when I was upset that I hadn't lost weight, despite exercising and cutting calories -- I'd cut way too many calories.

Bunkering down for Cyclone Yasi cured my children of their fussy eating, if only for a few hours. Funny how cold spaghetti in a can tastes OK when there is nothing else on offer. Too bad I didn't have any mushrooms or capsicum to offer them, just to see if they'd eat it in abundance.

Luckily for us, but sadly for my waistline, we were only affected by Yasi for just over 24 hours.

The Hair Shop, South Amboy, NJ

The Hair Shop

Men's cuts too Dudes, unless you prefer your hair cut by a sweaty old bald man instead of a cute young ladies.

BUY "Maybe It's Just Me!"

By Joe Hagy aka The Cranky Old Man

Order @rosedogbooks.com or Amazon.comSatisfaction is guaranteed!! If not the funniest bathroom book you have ever read simply return to Sayreville, N.J. 08872 P.O. box 999 :Attn full refundYou will promptly be refunded your purchase price!!

Simply include $18.50 for S+H

Comment on my book

"Got your book, been reading it and enjoying it, but had to tell you that the last piece I just read, 'The Great George Garbageboatwalk,' is as fine a piece of nostalgic writing as I've come across this year."

About Me

I am 70 years old, I have 4 children 45,42,40 and 18;and 5 grandchildren 13-6
. Divorced twice, married three times. I worked on Wall Street for 40 years after graduating from Lafayette College in 1968. I have turned to writing as since retirement I needed something to tell people "What the F*** I do." Published one book "Maybe It's Just Me!" available at Amazon, soon to release my second, "I Used To Be Stupid."
on twitter JoeHagyauthor