Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Draw Your Own Conclusions

When you’re ready to go out for the evening in Braindeadlia, you consult a smallish, greasy and muddling magazine called 411. It lists every option and includes some candid photos that offer guidance as you choose your venue.

Here are the photos on pages 57 and 59 of a recent edition. Where would you want to be when the next hurricane hits?

7 comments:

Page 59. I'd rather be Bill's Filling Station. I'm 53 and I like my meat cooked. And those guys look like they're more likely to like The Velvet Underground. Hell, they're more likely to have at least heard of the Velvet Underground. The young 'uns probably listen to Bouncé or whatever her name is.

Besides what would you talk about with young 'uns after the ...um... hurricane if you were stuck on page 57? Smurfs? Power Rangers?

Page 59. I'd rather be Bill's Filling Station. I'm 53 and I like my meat cooked. And those guys look like they're more likely to like The Velvet Underground. Hell, they're more likely to have at least heard of the Velvet Underground. The young 'uns probably listen to Bouncé or whatever her name is.

Besides what would you talk about with young 'uns after the ...um... hurricane if you were stuck on page 57? Smurfs? Power Rangers?

When a hurricane hits? I bet the Page 57s are more likely to have party supplies than emergency supplies... and I'd be surprised if many of them could figure out how to put up storm shutters, for that matter.

Afterwards, of course, when there's nothing to do with the power out but swelter, I suppose I'd switch camps. ;)

The men of page 59 would likely have more useful survival skills during and after the deluge, even perhaps selflessly inserting their large bulky masses into windows and doorways - like the little dutch boy's finger in the dyke - to block the winds and rushing water. The kids of page 57 would likely only shreik and cower. Afterwards, however, should rescue be long delayed and sustenance unavailable, the surviving twinks might more easily be skinned and roasted (and their tender young selves more delicious) than the veterans over at Bill's. It's a tough call.