Sideswipe

Sideswipe: September 18: One-sided

The plant aisle at The Warehouse, Sylvia Park is a little one-sided ...

Cold shower for Morrison

Just jokes? In a speech at the Wellington Harbour City Rotary Club's art awards mayoral candidate John Morrison thanked the models and said he would be meeting up with one of them in the showers after the show. He has since apologised but TV3 wit @AliIkram tweets: "Feel sorry for Mystery Morrison. There's lasciviousness inherent in body art discombobulating two chaps of a certain vintage. Where to look?" But @jofromgreylynn replied: "It wasn't the looking that got him into trouble." And Ikram argued ... "You must understand when a lady starts strutting around in nothing more than a coat of Dulux, the sight can cause strange moods."

Cast of extras at house auction

Real estate agents filling their auctions with a cast of extras - buyers who don't have a show of winning ... "We are in the process of buying a home, and have been in an identical situation TWICE! The last house's CV was $660k and the listing on Trade Me came under $700k.

Every time we spoke to the agent, we were assured it was in our budget (up to $750k) and were strongly encouraged to come to auction. After spending time and money on the homework, and taking time off work to attend the auction, the opening bid was $860k and final price $895k. We spoke to the agent on the day of the auction. She already knew the level of the pre-auction offer yet still insisted we come. We feel it is unethical at the very least, and would not deal with that agency again." I wish a real estate agent would write in and have a crack at justifying this practice ... Go on!

It's time estate agents got real

A reader writes: "Someone should really take a test case to court, or the small claims tribunal, when real estate agents misrepresent the price so badly. For supposed experts, and having a relationship with the seller, it's not acceptable to miscalculate estimate sale prices by 10 to 20 per cent. I dare say this is not just a miscalculation, but a misrepresentation to attract more potential buyers."

Eggplant on check-out operator's face

A mate's in a supermarket to buy aubergines (eggplants). Callow youth at check-out: "What are they?" Mate: "Aubergines." CYAC: (Checks product list for a code) "We don't have them." Mate: "Well, the fact that I'm standing here with them would indicate otherwise." CYAC: "Listen, the only things we've got listed under 'O' are oranges."

Incredible Real Estate: Las Vegas underground bunker for sale. "A sprawling home for sale ... you can golf, barbecue, swim, relax in a hot tub, dance under a starry sky and make breakfast while gazing at the mountains. All while 26 feet underground." Note the BBQ...