Growing Up With Expectations

I remember my childhood days when I used to play with the Barbies my mom would buy me, the pony sets, and the tea sets and the kitchen sets and the Easy Bake Oven my dad got me. Quite frankly I never really enjoyed any of that. I always wanted LEGOS and puzzles and books but my mother always wanted the pretty bright pink and even purple toys for her precious daughter. Don’t get me wrong I appreciated everything they gave me and I gotta be honest the toys were pretty cute but I guess I was always too nerdy for any of that stuff. Regardless, I played with them and had fun.

I went to school, got the grades I needed and kept on going year after year. I studied, did my homework, I played here and there, had (and have) my friends. Today I still talk to some of my friends that I met as a child, and I think that is something pretty amazing. I’ve known them for almost half of my life and when I think of it that way I feel old but looking at it differently I’ve just started to live. I’m not old, but old enough to understand many things. I’ve grown so much over the last couple of years.

Looking at it through a different perspective I see how everyone has changed. Some of my friends are already married, some are mothers and fathers of beautiful young and bright kids. Some of my friends are starting to graduate from college and some are just about to finish. That’s life isn’t it? You’re born, you live your childhood, teen years, adult years, maybe have a family, have a job and life goes on and on until we leave this world.

My mother confessed she had high expectations from me, she wanted me to be a lawyer some day. Me, a lawyer? Sure I argue often, try to prove my point but I would’ve made one sucky lawyer. Unfortunately and thankfully her daughter (me) is on her way to becoming a scientist (told you I was always a nerd). My sister married not so long ago, now everyone has expectations that I’ll be the next to walk down an aisle and give my parents new grandchildren. Hold up, I’m only 21. Why is it that society has this kind of notion of marriage and the whole start a family ASAP thing. I believe my trust issues and inability to form a real commitment to a relationship scares my mother more than myself. My friends are asking me, WHEN? When am I finally gonna commit to a relationship, I don’t know maybe after I’m done with my career and I have lived my life a bit? Surely, that’s not too much to ask is it?

As a child I would play house like many others. But never did I think that I would be getting pressure from my family about things like this. I saw it done to other people as I grew up and I always thought that was a silly thing to do. Funny how things turn out. Growing up I saw the expectations for others and now those are the same expectations on me. All I know is one thing, I’ll just let time do it’s thing and in the mean time I’ll continue to live my life happily in my own way.