Family. What is family? I don’t quite remember. I don’t get to call Daddy or Mommy everyday like most family does or like I used to. & I miss that.

I have to make it clear to you that both my parents and siblings are still alive, neither divorced or separated by law. But my parents are indeed separated in distance, not that they don’t love each other, just that there are limitations. In other words, its complicated. We still spend a few short vacations together.

I miss the good old days when my dad is still working in Singapore and so is my mom. I miss the times when we will go to East coast together to ride bicycle or play badminton/basketball under our block on the weekends. I miss the times having to really wake up early in the morning for breakfast with my dad without complaining too early. Family bonding. Actual family bonding. Those were the days that are never gonna be the same.

Recession in 1997, Singapore. My dad lost his job. & without much education, he couldn’t find a job in Singapore. Thus, he went back to Malaysia, Klang to work which is about 6 hours drive from Singapore. Main reason, why we are not meeting that much. I got distanced with my dad. My dad got diagnosed with kidney failure and requires him to go through dialysis 3 times a week. This happened when he live alone in Malaysia & people marketing (BAD) Chinese supplements to him. If he was still in Singapore, this will never happen. My mom has also went to Malaysia, JB to work for her friend, managing a pub. She stayed there too. And so, not seeing her as much like before.

So, it’s just my sister, my brother & I. Basically, we are just living by ourselves with no parents by our side. It’s just hard, really. We are living together with our cousins. No parents at all, just a grandmother, a leech. I miss my parents, I know my siblings do too. They don’t say. But I know. I feel sorry for my brother who is younger. He got lesser time spend with parents compared to me. & I got lesser compared to my sister.

Some people envy how our parents deal with us. We have freedom. We got no curfews. We got no restrictions. I used to be proud about it. But now, it’s not about freedom. It’s actually saying, WE ARE ON OUR OWN. Independence. I definitely had learnt that well. My siblings too.

Family don’t work like this. No, it doesn’t. Everyday, you come back home with no one around. No mom to call. No dad to call. No family bonding. Months after months. Birthdays with no parents around. Years after years. I envy others a lot.

Recently, I have been spending my weekends at my other cousins’ house with my aunt and uncle. It’s good to have the family feel once in a while. I don’t know why, I actually sound a little pathetic.

Well, People who are reading this post: Love what you got. Cherish your family before it’s too late. Just know, one day it can be so perfect and the next moment, it can be all gone. Let your mom nag at you and don’t complain. Be home before curfew time that your dad set for you. When you are leaving or coming back home, acknowledge your mom and dad. No matter how bad is your day outside, when you are back home, don’t ignore your parents and go straight to your room. Call them, hug them and thank god you have your parents around to love you no matter what happened.

Unlike most of you, I got no family. Just parents and siblings. I miss my family.

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The Fatgirl

About Me

I'm a Pisces born on 12.03.1990. I'm a messed up girl. I can't seem to be myself at times. I hate seeing myself being imperfect but I am. I'm fat and ugly. Not that strong & confident which I seem to be in front of others. Arrogant at times. Too much of a busybody. I talk like I know everything. I act like I have many friends. I lie a lot. It just seems that I'm living in an artificial world of mine. Well, most probably this blog is going to be full of my personal feelings, life and everything. Most of all, it is to be truthful to myself.