It's all about the Metta.

Lovers, are you still basking in the glow of the recent romantic holiday? Or recovering from the I'm-so-over-it mentality you so proudly protest? Depending upon how you view February 14th, Valentine's Day is either a hyped up "holiday" or a time to show gratitude and appreciation to the one that you love. This practice is called Metta (sanskrit), or loving kindness. Metta is a mindful or meditative state that grows our capacity for loving kindness, friendliness and goodwill. It is not only a selfless act making your loved feel special, it's reciprocal, benefitting you as well. Metta opens your heart and draws the pull of benevolence and warmth in your direction.

Be a lover, not a fighter.

One historic account of the holiday's namesake is from 3rd century Rome under the rule of Emperor Claudius II. He outlawed marraige for young men, believeing that they would make better soldiers without wives and families. Saint Valentine performed unions for young lovers in secret, but his rogue actions eventually caused the order of his death. A martyr for love, now THAT'S romantic.

Ask the Universe for your Italian boyfriend.

A day that used to hold no particular meaning for me is now one I hold quite dear. Three years ago on a wintery Valentine's evening, I held a special heart opening yoga class. This was just one of my regular Thursday night classes, but I themed in lessons on what it means to love yourself and to be a good partner. A man attended class that night that had drawn my attention before. In fact, every time he came to my class, my world stopped for a moment and I felt the entire energy of the room shift. I was keenly aware that something important was happening and I knew that he would be someone big in my life. Being respectful of teacher/student boundaries, I kept this curiousity to myself...and all of my cooworkers. I joked with my front desk girls that he was my Italian boyfriend, he just didn't know it yet. I put it out there, testing the waters of the Universe, to boldy bring to fruition what my intuition had already told me. I would find out later that Adam shared the same instant knowing and daydreaming. He told his friends he was in love with a woman, he just hadn't talked to her yet. On this evening of the 14th, many friends came to class with the plan to stay and hang out, have some wine and toast our singledom after-hours in the studio. After sharing our first real hello, I invited my future to stay and join us. He did. And in a warm, cozy room full of my dearest, the stars began to align.

What a story, right?! So, in celebration of this day, I hold partner yoga workshops to share some of that love and create special moments for the taking. In guiding couples through acro yoga, the art of assisting, and thai yoga massage, we talk about what is needed for a solid partnership on and off the mat:

1. LOVE YOURSELF: In order to be available for someone, you must nourish yourself and believe that you are deserving of the things you want. Sometimes, that takes practice and unlearning patterns that have caused hurt and doubt along the way.

2. STAY ATTUNED TO YOUR PARTNER'S NEEDS: Pay attention to your partner. Know their goals and dreams. Support them and help them to grow. Love them using their love languages and yours.

3. GIVE 100%: Don't keep tabs. You will have constant awareness of the equality or lack thereof in your relationship if you are concerned with fair shares. Giving 50/50 is half the capacity that you both could be operating on, and that's hardly fair to one another.

4. BE A GOOD LISTENER AND CLEAR COMMUNICATOR: Seek to understand; seek to minimize miscommunications and find mutual resolve. Whether bestowed with the gifts of listening and communicating or not, it is your JOB to grow these skills and to be adept at both.

5. BUILD A FOUNDATION OF TRUST: We all need a safe place to explore who we are. We need a foundation of trust where our truth can flourish. We need to be strong and we need to be vulnerable in an environment of acceptance.

Be a fighter for your lover.

"Hold the line, love isn't always on time". Truth, Toto. Just like the roles in acro yoga, you will at times be the base- holding the line, making the foundation and serving as the grounding force. You will at times be the flyer- the bold and brave one, soaring into new territories, forging new paths of growth. Accept the peaks and valleys and the necessary role of both. Be with one another, hold the line, pull one another out of the trenches and raise one another up to new heights. Be proud of the partnership you have built and protect it.

Allow me to introduce you to Gather Yoga. Gather is a collective of teachers and writers bringing quality content to a confusingly saturated online yoga market. It's a wonderful thing to have access to yoga blogs and YouTube videos- I explore them a lot! But it's hard to discern if what you are clicking on is going to be safe and useful to you. You may not know the teacher's background or qualifications, or the content may simply too overwhelming to navigate. Gather aims to curate personable and effective teachers to share their passion and to grow their tribe. You can visit Gather Yoga's video library to practice at home or while traveling. I read the articles for inspiring things to share in my own yoga classes. I ogle over the recipes and recreate them for my family. Going forward, you will be able to visit Gather to learn who you should pay a visit to when visiting various cities in search of a good class.

I'm honored and excited to be Charlotte's first instructor and content provider for Gather Yoga!

As I prepare my ideas for videos, I want to hear from you. Please share the poses, areas of the body, energy centers, and anything else you want to see broken down and discussed. As I work on this blog, I'm trying to hone my writing skills, so include topics you want to read about as well. All things welcomed!

Check out this 20 question spotlight from Gather Yoga, featuring lots of things you never knew about me. Then, go explore the site, support the teachers and let me know what else you want to see from me!

It's been a month since we all spotlighted the things we want to change about ourselves and formed them into neat, well-intended resolutions. So, how are you doing on yours? As a yoga instructor working full time in a yoga studio, I enjoy watching the month of January bring dozens of new yogis, signing up for classes and memberships. An enjoyable dichotomy of perplexed and humble looks around the room and complete surrender with gratification. Some will come back on occasion, fitting yoga into the many group exercise spots they bounce around to. Some will go back to their couch. And some will have found something profound that they are ready to see- themselves.

As the New Year rung in, I reminded my yogis of their dharma. We all have intentions, goals, and desires. The realization of those deepest desires is our dharma, the true nature of you realizing your potential. Your dharma is not something that you need to make up, search for, or begin on a certain day of the year. You already are that person. You already have those tools. With the new year only a month in, let's wake up to what we have already been endowed with. What is there underneath the dormant layers? What works to spark your potential? And as we awaken to this, don't sprint away from last year's experiences. Reflect on them, grow from them. Revel in the fact that while you can not change the past, you can use it to inform the present moment and the future.

This year, don't resolve to change yourself, resolve to BE yourself. Seek the divine within you everyday.

And as requested, here is the New Year's Countdown I wrote and shared with my students. In the style of things you might do and experience on a big NYE night out, here you go:

Today I sit beside my mother, hooked up to her chemotherapies. Tubes leading straight into her chest, into her veins, changing the chemistry of her blood and body. Drip drip drip.

She sits peacefully in the medical recliner, scarf on her head, blankets, which were once warm, upon her legs. She alternates between closing her eyes, reading prayers, chatting with me and my sister, and diving into Pinterest for the simple pleasure of gazing upon beauty, having a laugh, and adorable puppies. Here is one of our favorites.

I set up an altar on the little table that attaches to her chair. I set it up each time we come and she lets me, probably more so for me than her. She takes her favorite stone, Ruby Zoisite, and places it inside her shirt by her heart, its home for the next several hours. I stand the snake goddess up and place the other stones around her in a half moon. She is the renewal of life and that which transforms and embraces change.

In times of change learners inheret the earth; while the learned find themelseves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists. -Eric Hoffer

My mom begins telling me about the technique that improvisational actors use called "Yes, and..." No matter what your acting partner says or presents to you, your mandatory response must begin "Yes, and..." You do not have the choice to negate, redirect, belittle or ignore. It is total acceptance. Your life, just as it is happening, not how you hoped or imagined it would happen. With this simple practice and in this moment, there exists the beauty of pure possibility.

When presented with change, we resist and fight tooth and nail to keep wearing our old skin. It is our security blanket. It's all we know. Change happens whether we welcome it with open arms or not. So why not be the learners. The improvisors. Let's be beautifully equipped to deal with our reality and our ever changing worlds. Shed our skin, shed our hair.

She is the renewal of life and that which transforms and embraces change. She is my mother.