stress

Stress really isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a natural process designed to protect or at the very least prepare us for imminent danger. Stress is what helps us run from threats or push through chaotic situations. Stress is the trigger to our fight or flight response. Stress can also motivate us to stop procrastinating and get our work done. It’s what makes us buckle down and get to that task that we’ve been procrastinating about.In small doses and for a short time, stress is a good thing. It becomes a problem when we are totally stressed out and it’s constant. Chronic stress is what causes things like adrenal fatigue, high blood pressure, belly fat and heart disease. But stress is tricky…it builds up slowly and sneaks up on us. We get used to that feeling of constantly being over worked and over stimulated. Many times we don’t even realize just how stressed we are until something major happens and our body then forces us to slow down. (I’m convinced this is what happened to me in the form of dystonia.) Don’t let it get that far. Learn to recognize the early signs of being stressed out. Learn to control of it, work on reducing stress, and most importantly make time to rest and relax so you can recover from the unavoidable stress and pressure life throws at you.

10 Signs You’re Stressed Out

A general feeling of anxiety and feeling unwell.

Trouble sleeping.

Lack of concentration and focus.

Mindless eating and snacking throughout the day. (Sweet and salty foods are particularly appealing!)

Needing a nightly glass of wine or beer to unwind.

Feeling overwhelmed.

Hair loss

Compromised immunity.

Depression and loneliness.

GI symptoms including nausea, dizziness, and diarrhea.

The problem is that these symptoms of being stressed can stress us out even more. We may respond by pushing harder, which makes us feel even worse. The only way to break the cycle of chronic stress is to address THE problem… the stress.We can do this by making a conscious effort to cut (or reduce) stress, learning simple relaxation techniques, and learning to give ourselves the time and rest that we need to recover.

The holiday season can be a great opportunity to spend time with family and friends and celebrate. This can be a good and a bad thing. The expectations of seeing family, endless social events, gift shopping, and holiday preparation can become too much for even the most dedicated extroverts. All too often, anxiety and depression can become unwelcome holiday guests. Fortunately, there are a number of ways that you can reduce holiday stress and mindfully enjoy the holiday season.

First Things First

The amount of online drama and negativity has dramatically increased with no sign of slowing down. It seems to get worse every week! It can be incredibly draining. Too much time spent scrolling and absorbing other people’s outrage never helped anyone feel any better. Not only that, if the holidays are difficult for you it can increase feelings of despair and isolation. You might want to consider putting strict boundaries on your social media time.

Your time with God has to come first. Spend the first few quiet minutes of every day in quiet devotion and prayer to help center your thoughts. I like to pray the offices to spiritually check in as the day’s stresses begin to accumulate.

Eat Well

As much as you can, make healthy food choices. If/when you choose to indulge, don’t turn it into a binge that lasts into January. Begin eating healthy again at the next meal. And be sure to stay hydrated.

Keep Moving

Set aside some time for movement – whether it’s walking, gentle yoga or just getting outside for a bit, getting your blood circulating is enormously helpful. The American Heart Association wants you to stay active all the time, but it’s extremely important to keep that going during the holidays. Any activity or exercise you can fit in will help reduce your stress and elevate your mood.

Set A Budget

Admittedly, retail therapy can be great fun but not so much when you have to face the New Year with more credit card debt than you can handle. You can minimize the damage by setting a budget and sticking to it.

Know Your Limits

As a chronic pain patient, I’ve had to come to accept that I can’t do everything that I used to. I don’t bake as much as I once did, try keep the decorations minimal and try to pick just a few holiday events to try to participate in. Set the priorities that work for you and your family and then stick to them.

Don’t Be Afraid to Do Something Different

For some of us, holidays can be really difficult. Not everyone has a supportive extended family close by. If you’re by yourself, look for ways to serve in the community. If you’ve sick, have experienced a recent loss or are experiencing ongoing financial struggles, you might want to step away from the holidays completely. Take a road trip, go to the beach or mountains. Detach in whatever ways make sense to you.

The Bottom Line

Self-care is a conscious choice that we have to make on a daily basis not only now, but throughout the year. Take some time and create a deliberate plan of self care for yourself to make it through the holiday season.

Living mindfully is easy enough when things are going your way. But the challenge comes when you’ve encountered a difficult problem with a family member or at work. Maybe your spouse said or did something insensitive that really hurt you. Or your kids are acting up. Whatever the situation is, you’re being bombarded with lots of emotions all at once.

The natural reaction is to want to blow up and just let it all out. While this solution feel better to you at first, this approach can cause long term damage to your relationships. Learn how to deal with life’s stresses mindfully and see how much better you feel.

Begin With Awareness

Often, we want our emotions to be heard, so begin by noticing and acknowledging how you feel. Say something simple to yourself like, “I’m angry that _______ did _______ Take a few deep breaths. Pray a simple prayer while you’re doing this. Notice any other emotions you feel bubbling to the surface like anxiety, depression, anger, sadness, or jealousy.

Analyze Your Emotions

Where are these emotions coming from? Are they linked to something that happened recently? It’s important to pause and ask yourself if your emotions are in reasonable proportion to what happened. For instance, we might react to a minor incident because we’re not acknowledging a problem in a different area. If one of your kids spills something on the kitchen table you might be tempted to lose it with them. But if you take a minute (or more) to pause and regroup, you might realize that you’re angry about some other unresolved problem and took those emotions out on your child.

Think the Problem Through

When your frustration or problem has to do with someone else, think about it carefully before you decide to confront them. Give it a lot of time. Have you been projecting your emotions on to them? Are you willing to step in their shoes for just a moment to look at this situation from their perspective? Most importantly, be ready and willing to listen.

Consider the Alternatives

Sometimes, a frustration or problem comes along that can be handled easily. Ask yourself if you can change the situation. For example, getting angry about difficult relatives or insurance companies isn’t productive and doesn’t solve anything. Ask yourself what your real choices are and what might be the best way to handle the situation.

Seek Guidance

If you have a coach or mentor you can contact, you should do that. Ask them for guidance on how to tackle this problem effectively. Often another person can provide a fresh perspective that can help you look at the situation in a new way. You could also reach out to a small group or community that you’re part of. Your small group can give you the benefit of several different perspectives you’ll probably find out you’re not the only one dealing with these problems.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t handle every frustration or problem mindfully. Instead, simply acknowledge that you could have dealt with the situation differently and move on from there. Mindful living isn’t about getting it right every time or being perfect. It’s about living in this moment.