Award if found:
Storylines that don’t have to be twisted in knots to make sense.

It makes no sense:
Spinelli’s fixation on Stone Cold Jr. It’s really bordering on the crazy
these days. It doesn’t help that he, in addition to Dr. Kelly and Epiphany,
are spouting garbage about the baby having to bond with family within 48
hours or some such nonsense. Granted, soap operas are dependent on
biological parents for drama’s sake; how else could new characters be
brought on but as long lost offspring? But it’s just offensive to insinuate
that adopted children or children born in the midst of an emergency are
going to suffer some sort of trauma because they missed a magical window of
family bondage. If Spinelli isn’t revealed to have daddy issues, I’m going
to be pissed that an entertaining character has been rendered unlikable by
this fixation.

It makes no sense:
Craig
forcing Emily to sign a money transfer as a means to gain leverage. There
is no way that she couldn’t convince a jury she signed under duress.
Craig/Jerry is a wanted felon. He personally terrorized half of Port
Charles. And we’re supposed to think Emily would be held liable? At least
we were fed a new logic twist to compensate for that absurdity—present
anti-terror laws would allow the government to arrest first, charge later.
When Emily gets shipped off to prison, can I get the dress she’s been
wearing all week? It’s fabulous.

It makes no sense:
Are hysterectomies some sort of cure-all for women’s wombs like chicken soup
is for the soul?

It makes no sense:
Scott suing for custody of Laura. He has no grounds to do so. He’s had
several loves since Laura not to mention a pair of daughters—why the sudden
fascination with her? Besides, no judge would grant an ex-husband custody
over a woman’s oldest son. I’ll let this one slide for now since Luke,
Scotty, and Tracy in a room together makes my day.

It makes no sense:
Sam can spill a secret faster than she can dash from the hospital to the
Metro Court bar. Seriously, did you see that? She was lurking in the
hallway and basically warped over to the bar before Elizabeth could finish
her requisite St. Jason worship for his Glorious Sacrifice. Then, one drink
later, and she’s given Amelia even more dirt to lord over her. Obviously,
liquor is not her friend. Will she soon , like Sonny, have dramatic
standoffs with bottles of Scotch while going through a rough spell?

And finally, my
favorite line of the week, which, while making no sense, is incredibly
funny—

Jax to Jerry: What the
hell did you do to your face?

What’s hilarious is
that Jerry now looks much more like Jax than he did originally, which
basically means Jax was insulting his own looks and….okay, just me then?
Perhaps General Hospital Logic is rubbing off on me. Help!