You Can Now Date Your Favorite Sushi Roll

By
Cosmo Frank

Jun 04, 2014

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You know when you're in on a Friday night and you're like, "Fuck it, I'm ordering sushi," and then the sushi comes and you whisper, "I love you, sushi," under your breath? (Just me?) Well, now you can actually go on a hot date with your favorite roll. Love! Sushi Rangers, made by Japanese company KOYONPLETE Inc., is billed as a romance dating "sim" game about "a strange life with a girl and a handsome sushi" (?!) (via Kotaku).

Dating sims are interactive story games where you play one character. In the case of Love! Sushi Rangers (I will never get tired of typing that name), you play a young woman who has to watch her father's sushi shop while he's away. Inexplicably, pieces of the sushi turn into young men who help her run the shop, and she's like, "Might as well take advantage of this situation and hit on some sushi, I guess." Do the men ever turn back into sushi? you ask. Why are they still serving sushi to other patrons if it can apparently become sentient? What's the deal with Salmon Sushi; he seems like kind of a dick? These questions, and more, go unanswered, but who cares! You're dating a spicy tuna crunch roll!

If you want to express your love for sushi in ways that would be frowned upon outside of a virtual world, Love! Sushi Rangers can be downloaded for iPhone and Android, but just be warned: They charge you for just about every little add-on within the game. Here's what the sushi, personified, looks like (I know, not what you pictured, right?):