Lutsky on Carnation Milk

Day in, day out, for three decades running, Lutsky began his program with a
freshly written tribute to the wonders of Carnation Milk. He lauded the economic
efficiency of Carnation's plants, the mysterious nutritional benefits of its
powdered milk crystals, the allergy-preventing properties of its canned milk
-- all with the same emotion and sense of purpose that went into responding to
"listener" letters. The force of Lutsky's devotion was in full evidence when
he summarily fired Isaiah Sheffer, his English-language announcer, for garbling
a Carnation ad.

Lutsky was so enamored of his patron that he always sported a white Carnation
in his lapel and, for his vacations, toured Carnation plants across the country,
prancing about like Napoleon at Austerlitz. It thus seems apt that one-third
of the surviving recordings of the program feature Lutsky dispensing Carnation
ads rather than the milk of human kindness.