Thursday, November 14, 2013

Rush Limbaugh Fans Now Literally Crapping Their Pants

An unpleasant new affliction is sweeping across the ranks of loyal
Rush Limbaugh listeners who are gullible enough to buy the right wing
talk show host's apocalyptic view of our nation.
And in true greedy right wing fashion, an opportunistic business has
seized upon its chance to capitalize on these unfortunate Dittoheads'
misery.
On Tuesday, an alert Flush Rush monitor caught an ad during the Rush Limbaugh broadcast for Butterfly Body Liners, a product designed to protect against "accidental bowel leakage."

But why? What is it about the Tea Party darling's inflammatory program
that causes people to lose control of their bowels? And why now??
Rush Limbaugh has always been a skilled fearmongerer. But his
ability to frighten listeners increased exponentially with the election
of our country's first African American president. Limbaugh has
convinced his listeners that Obama is tribalizing America, that he's just like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao, and that he may seek a 3rd term as president.

But if the thought of a black president-for-life wasn't enough to send
right wingers into a pants-crapping frenzy, the gay marriage issue did
it.

Ahead of the Supreme Court's decision on the Defense of Marriage Act,
Limbaugh had listeners believing that if gay marriage became legal it
would inevitably lead to marriage between people and furniture, unions between people and animals, and even legalized sex with children.
And with Hawaii now ready
to become the 15th state to allow same-sex marriage, Limbaugh listeners
have apparently reached the breaking point and commenced pants soiling.
The only unanswered question here is a sort of a chicken-or-the-egg
mystery. Is the sudden boon for Butterfly Body Liners sales simply
fortuitous timing? Or did Limbaugh have some sort of secret
behind-the-scenes deal with the company to scare the shit out of his
fans for a cut of the profits?