You know, there really are a lot, I don’t know it would need a very long comment . But let’s take a fundamental mistake in the beginning, the use of the imparfait . You must say ” Elle aimait sa maman, et sa maman l’aimait”, and also “C’était bon, le goût du mélilot”.
Then a gross clumsiness “Le fermier constata ça” . Nobody can write this, instead “le fermier le constata”, and in this case “le fermier s’en rendit compte” would rather come naturally .
Just after comes the only ununderstandable sentence :”Mal aux mamelles : non plus. ” I’m not sure of what you mean by that but for sure it’s not right .
Just after “Ce fut bon, être traite.”can’t come from a French mouth . At least a French would say “Ce fut bon d’être traite” but would rather say “être traite la soulagea”, or “cela lui fit du bien d’être traite”, etc.

So you see a full answer would be long but if you really want it we maybe could do it through emails or another system . I helped an Indian learning at the Alliance Française” in Mumbay like this during a year .

Yes I saw it . It is not complete, too much probably . For instance when you write “le prochain jour” we understand but we never say that in such cases . Either “le jour suivant” or “le lendemain” . “Le prochain jour” exists but not in this case .
Another one ” “c’était bon l’odeur de pommes mûres DANS l’air”, not en l’air . Again, “en l’air” exists but not in this case . A last one, the last sentence : you must say “Il y avait un léger goût DE mélilot” . Previously you rightly wrote “du mélilot” but the last sentence requires “de mélilot” .
You see the work I did with pleasure with the Indian guy was mainly trying to make him understand what I call “the abstract lines”, the intellectual matrix that triggers this rather than that, as well as lots of syntax or grammar rules that can seem fanciful for those who don’t know . Once you understand this level you don’t need to learn many cases because you know by advance .
But well I understand it must be a disrupting mourning day for you . For every provisionally living human being too . If you need to get political asylum in a still more or less civilized country just tell .