Wishing all those mourning their companion animals over the holidays peaceful memories and a legacy of love. While it is difficult to feel celebratory throughout the first year - or even several years - immediatley following the loss, the question remains; the enchancement that these precious beings brought to our lives is worth every stab of the heart is it not? Even when their presence feels so close, yet so far. Thank you to all of your for the lives of love and care you gave to these amazing sentient beings. All the best, Susan

Social Work in the Public Eye (November 2017)

by NASW Staff

NASW member Susan Stone is as an adjunct assistant professor at the Silver School of Social Work at New York University. But a passion of hers is helping facilitate an animal hospital pet bereavement group. She also runs a website, petlosshelp.org, and blog about pet bereavement.

She was quoted in a story at GoErie.com about ways to approach pet euthanasia and coping with pet loss. Stone said pet owners have to know that to euthanize a suffering animal is an act of love.

Susan Stone

“Humans delay the decision out of their own grief,” she was quoted saying. “You have to bear this to give that animal that quality all the way to the end. I am an advocate for a week too soon rather than a minute too late.”

Stone and Eric Deane Twitchell, a veterinarian at McKean Veterinary Hospital, explained that there is an objective tool to help a family quantify quality of life with a Quality of Life Scale, according to the story.

It asks pet owners to answer several questions with 1-10 ratings. The resulting score can be the gentle nudge, or something to hold on to after the pet has died.

Stone’s blog discusses the power of grief following pet loss, the common feelings following euthanasia and sudden loss, ideas for memorials and preparing to adopt a new pet.

Pleased to announce that NASW NYC will offer a CEU program, Thursday evening, July 13th 2017 for social workers and psychologists entitled "Disenfranchised Grief: Working with clients who have lost companion animals". For more information or to register, click here.

The Amazing Bretagne

Bretagne worked in rescue efforts in New York City after the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center.

She helped to search for survivors and recover human remains from the wreckage of the World Trade Center. Over 2,500 people were killed when terrorists flew airplanes into the twin towers.

The World Trade Center was Bretagne’s first deployment. She was only two years old at the time.

Denise Corliss was the dog’s handler. She cared for Bretagne. They worked together in the area known as Ground Zero for 10 days.

The dog also worked at other disasters, including three major hurricanes.

Bretagne retired from active duty at age nine.

According to Texas A&M University, the dog continued working in Texas as an ambassador with the local fire department. She also visited people who were sick, and children in learn-to-read programs. The university oversees a search-and-rescue program.

A member of the team that worked with Bretagne says she took her job seriously, but was always ready to help others, get a belly rub, or have a treat.

On Monday, on her way to see a doctor, Bretagne walked past a group of firefighters and rescue workers who gave her one final salute.

"They saluted Bretagne again as she departed the animal hospital with her body draped in an American flag." Oh feel

Never forget: Last 9/11 Ground Zero search dog dies at age 16

Bretagne, the last 9/11 search dog from Ground Zero, died on Monday with her best friend by her side. The dog was saluted as a fallen hero

One news report called her “a four-legged hero.”

And that’s What’s Trending Today.

I’m Dan Friedell.

Dan Friedell wrote this story for Learning English. George Grow was the editor.

How do you feel about Bretagne, the last remaining 9/11 rescue dog? We want to hear from you.

Two weeks ago, the removal of an old MRI machine by contracted technicians resulted in an explosion at Oradell Animal Hospital which decimated part of the facility. Oradell Animal Hospital is a premier, 24 hour, 365 days a year facility responsible for life saving emergencies as well as superior ongoing care of companion animals.

Despite the prolific damage caused by this explosion, not one animal was injured or lost. Not one staff member sustained injuries (one of the contracted technicians is still under medical care but expected to fully recover).

Instead, the staff responded with such professional diligence,that the entire facility of people and animals was evacuated in under five minutes. Not even the first responders who arrived on the scene could believe the efficiency and purpose of those charged with preserving animal life. They did not miss a beat, even when considering the potential of subsequent explosions.

While providing trauma debriefment to staff, I was repeatedly struck by the selfless bravery evidenced to preserve the lives of their charges. Indeed, they discovered in themselves and in each true heroes who defied death that day when disaster struck. As they say, when the going gets tough, the tough get going and indeed that strength prevailed.

Those who care for animals, for the helpless, for the disabled, for the voiceless, are among the finest human beings on the planet. The willingness to go beyond routine medical or social protocols to effect the best possible outcome appear to be consistent traits of those who serve our sentient companions. This experience certainly validated that belief.

Pet Loss Help attempts to support those who have lost their sweet friends. In those most difficult moments or days, most of us know interacted with a vet, a vet tech, a receptionist, an aide, an administrator or a staffer who offered more than just professional expertise during our animal's declining years or emergency visit. Whether it was hospice care, cancer care, diagnostic evaluation or bereavement support, we can all remember someone who really cared when we were in the process of losing our cherished companion.

To those of you who so lovingly minister to animals in their hour of deepest need - THANK YOU for your strong arms and hearts and shouldering these losses with us.

Dedicated to the Companion Animals of the Avalon

January 28, 2015

It is devastating enough to lose a companion animal when age, disability or illness claim their lives. But the agony being suffered by those who recently loss their precious pets (and their homes) in the horrific fire at the Avalon Apartment complex in Edgewater NJ is likely to be a major and long-lasting trauma to all who came home to the worst of news.

Caring, devoted partners to their cherished friends, these people went off to work or other activities in the morning, entrusting the lives of their animals to the safety they felt in their dwellings, only to find their homes and fate had betrayed them.

Innocence lost. Imagining the last minutes of your pet's life in such terrifying circumstances becomes an inescapable torture.

Please join me in offering our sympathy to those who endured this unimaginable catastrophe and in giving thanks for the hundreds of beautiful lives lost. Hopefully, those animals powerful spirits rose in unison and they were able to cross Rainbow Bridge together.

If you know of someone who experienced this loss, please alert them to the next Animal Companion Bereavement Group at Oradell Animal Hospital, Paramus NJ on Tuesday, February 10th at 7:00 PM.

Apologies to Colleen Fitzsimmons and Shadow

Shadow

Colleen Fitzsimmons is a talented writer, a courageous woman and a very kind person. She found her beautiful poem on this website referenced as "author unknown" with no mention of Shadow, her inspiration for the poem (picture above). She was writing to ask that I appropriately reference her work. I can only imagine her frustration as the internet is not kind to original works. People send me writings all the time and I should know better than to post without researching when I am told "author unknown". I should have vetted this poem because of its obvious emotional depth, literary expertise and ability to move its readers. So I wanted to publicly apologize to Colleen, to Shadow and to my readers for this oversight related to a truly magnificent poem which profoundly captures the unimaginable pain and desperate wish of those who lose these previous beings.

Here is the poem, again, appropriately referenced!:

Missing You

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key.I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said, "It's me."You looked so very tired, and sank into a chairI tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you every day

To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."You sat there very quietly, then smiled; I think you knew...In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawningAnd say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.Be patient, live your journey out... then come home to be with me.

The following is a beautiful poem written by poet/author Susan A Jackson

May I go now?Do you think the time is right?May I say goodbye to pain filled daysand endless lonely nights?I've lived my life and done my best,an example tried to be.So can I take that step beyondand set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,I fought with all my might.But something seems to draw me nowto a warm and loving light.I want to goI really do.It's difficult to stay.

But I will try as best I canto live just one more day.To give you time to care for meand share your love and fears.I know you're sad and afraid,because I see your tears.

I'll not be far,I promise that, and hope you'll always knowthat my spirit will be close to youwherever you may go.Thank you so for loving me.You know I love you too,that's why it's hard to say goodbyeand end this life with you.

So hold me now just one more timeand let me hear you say,because you care so much for me,you'll let me go today.

Susan A. Jackson

Eugene O'Neill addresses companion animal loss by writing about it from his canine's point of view!

Eugene O'Neill

I, SILVERDENE EMBLEM O'NEILL (familiarly known to my family, friends, and acquaintances as Blemie), because the burden of my years and infirmities is heavy upon me, and I realize the end of my life is near, do hereby bury my last will and testament in the mind of my Master. He will not know it is there until after I am dead. Then, remembering me in his loneliness, he will suddenly know of this testament, and I ask him then to inscribe it as a memorial to me.

I have little in the way of material things to leave. Dogs are wiser than men. They do not set great store upon things. They do not waste their days hoarding property. They do not ruin their sleep worrying about how to keep the objects they have, and to obtain the objects they have not. There is nothing of value I have to bequeath except my love and my faith. These I leave to all those who have loved me, to my Master and Mistress, who I know will mourn me most, to Freeman who has been so good to me, to Cyn and Roy and Willie and Naomi and -- But if I should list all those who have loved me, it would force my Master to write a book. Perhaps it is vain of me to boast when I am so near death, which returns all beasts and vanities to dust, but I have always been an extremely lovable dog.

I ask my Master and Mistress to remember me always, but not to grieve for me too long. In my life I have tried to be a comfort to them in time of sorrow, and a reason for added joy in their happiness. It is painful for me to think that even in death I should cause them pain. Let them remember that while no dog has ever had a happier life (and this I owe to their love and care for me), now that I have grown blind and deaf and lame, and even my sense of smell fails me so that a rabbit could be right under my nose and I might not know, my pride has sunk to a sick, bewildered humiliation. I feel life is taunting me with having over-lingered my welcome. It is time I said good-bye, before I become too sick a burden on myself and on those who love me. It will be sorrow to leave them, but not a sorrow to die. Dogs do not fear death as men do. We accept it as part of life, not as something alien and terrible which destroys life. What may come after death, who knows? I would like to believe with those of my fellow Dalmatians who are devout Mohammedans, that there is a Paradise where one is always young and full-bladdered; where all the day one dillies and dallies with an amorous multitude of houris, beautifully spotted; where jack rabbits that run fast but not too fast (like the houris) are as the sands of the desert; where each blissful hour is mealtime; where in long evenings there are a million fireplaces with logs forever burning, and one curls oneself up and blinks into the flames and nods and dreams, remembering the old brave days on earth, and the love of one's Master and Mistress.

I am afraid this is too much for even such a dog as I am to expect. But peace, at least, is certain. Peace and long rest for weary old heart and head and limbs, and eternal sleep in the earth I have loved so well. Perhaps, after all, this is best.

One last request I earnestly make. I have heard my Mistress say, "When Blemie dies we must never have another dog. I love him so much I could never love another one." Now I would ask her, for love of me, to have another. It would be a poor tribute to my memory never to have a dog again. What I would like to feel is that, having once had me in the family, now she cannot live without a dog! I have never had a narrow jealous spirit. I have always held that most dogs are good (and one cat, the black one I have permitted to share the living room rug during the evenings, whose affection I have tolerated in a kindly spirit, and in rare sentimental moods, even reciprocated a trifle). Some dogs, of course, are better than others. Dalmatians, naturally, as everyone knows, are best. So I suggest a Dalmatian as my successor. He can hardly be as well bred or as well mannered or as distinguished and handsome as I was in my prime. My Master and Mistress must not ask the impossible. But he will do his best, I am sure, and even his inevitable defects will help by comparison to keep my memory green. To him I bequeath my collar and leash and my overcoat and raincoat, made to order in 1929 at Hermes in Paris. He can never wear them with the distinction I did, walking around the Place Vendôme, or later along Park Avenue, all eyes fixed on me in admiration; but again I am sure he will do his utmost not to appear a mere gauche provincial dog. Here on the ranch, he may prove himself quite worthy of comparison, in some respects. He will, I presume, come closer to jack rabbits than I have been able to in recent years.And for all his faults, I hereby wish him the happiness I know will be his in my old home.

One last word of farewell, Dear Master and Mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also with happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: "Here lies one who loved us and whom we loved." No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.

Tao House, December 17th, 1940

The Profound Impact of Animal Companion Loss

When facilitating the pet bereavement group at Oradell Animal Hospital, I am often more struck by the words that remain unspoken. That even in this group of animal lovers, protective stewards and advocates, there is still sometimes a feeling of holding back. Is it fear that if one were to truly unleash the full weight of one’s sorrow, it could not be tolerated? Is it respect for other mourners? Is it protection of the shattered heart that sits there with others, but remains isolated by bereft misery? People are able to bring photos, share stories, describe their lives together in loving and funny detail.

But it is hard to talk about the impact of their friend’s absence on a now too empty life. Everything feels different now. This time of healing is full of false starts and heart-breaking dreams of reunions. The sadness of coming home to a quiet house, a silent barn, an empty cage, cans of unopened food in the pantry, stained tennis balls, is wearying to the soul. Day after day, reminders of our friend are everywhere. Walking around your block without your precious companion brings comments from well-meaning neighbors who hesitantly ask what happened to “Buck” . Or why “Lepard” no longer sits in the window. And the grief comes on again.

What makes us mourn so deeply that life grays for a while and feels like it will never be light again? The connection we ALLOW with our animals is perhaps among the deepest we experience in life. Animals are ready to know us, know every aspect of our being and to accept us as we are. People describe it as unconditional love, but I think acceptance is even harder. It is not that they are unaware of our failures. We see their disbelieving look when a voice is raised, a move too harsh, our own human troubles too much to find space for them. In those moments, they simply move away without judgment, giving us the time to find ourselves again.

They live a Mindful life that has no memory for failings. Their own lives in the wild were so dependent on doing “just what is needed in each moment” to survive, that grudges are a waste of time. The mother bird does not hate the hawk who takes her fledgling, she simply builds a more secluded nest next time. And so animals notice our moods, our actions and respond simply, without analysis, judgment or prediction.

Humans have a much harder time taking this perspective.

In losing our companion animals we lose teachers, examples of how to live life, and perhaps the best friend we have ever had. Mourning animals is a rite of passage and the profound grief is unsurprising when considering the Divinity of the gift we have in them.

How much grieving is too much?

As mental health professional, my practice is not limited to those mourning animals. The opportunity to experience the attitudes of friends and family members to clients mourning humans compared to the reactions observed to grief over animal companion loss can offer a difficult contrast.

When a human dies, social support is ongoing through the rituals of funerals, burials, eulogies, death notices, a year of "allowed" mourning, the support of family and friends through visits, food, encouraging activities, listening and validating the grief of the loss... this greatly supports the task of mourning and helps the person navigate the most intense periods of grief.

Humans mourning animals however, lack many of these supports for a loss which may be among the most significant of their lives! No one brings you a casserole; your boss expects you back at work two days later (if even allowing that), your family begins to worry if your sadness lingers beyond a few weeks. Facilities that will offer animal funerals, burials are still very rare and are not covered by any kind of insurance, death benefit or family planning accounts!

When the world sends you a message that your grief is pathological and not justified by the loss of an animal, the mourner may begin to doubt himself. Is there something wrong with me that I am grieving so deeply? Shouldn't I be "over it" by now? Our hearts never lie about the significance of such losses. Factors that determine how and how long we may grieve depend on the depth, intensity, duration and significance of your bond with your precious friend. Our minds and heart have their own timetable for healing, acceptance and reconnection to life.

Other factors which may influence or impact the length of your mourning are everything else that is going on in your life! If you have ample support, other animals, people, activities and distractions in your world, you will still mourn but you will be able to take brief "vacations" from mourning - even in those early hours and days when the pain feels unbearable. You will be able to be validated by the understanding and acceptance of close friends who are there with you and perhap find relief through sporadic sleep. A boss or relatives who valued animal life as you did, will be more understanding and able to appreciate your sad journey which will help move your process forward.

But if the loss of your sweet friend followed a series of other losses, if your remaining life is bereft of support and activities; if you are homebound, recently relocated, newly single again, unwell or estranged from other important people; if your animals companion anchored a day that now feels directionless, recovery may be harder and longer. It is not unusual to mourn six months or longer, but the sharpness of the pain should diminish with time. The days when the tears won't stop will be fewer and your singular focus on the loss will eventually give way for the other responsibilities, tasks, beings and joys in your life.

There is no set time on how long this takes and comparisons are useless and sometimes damaging.

If you are still unable to function at all after a week has passed, cannot sleep and have impulsive thoughts of ending your life in order to rejoin your departed friend, please seek help IMMEDIATELY.

This reaction, unless fleeting, is not part of normative response and may indicate a mental health issue. Major depression can follow any of life's most significant losses (especially if there is not sufficient support for your grief, or other events before or after the loss of your friend have also overwhelmed your ability to cope) and animal companion death can be among those. Take care of yourself and do not delay in reaching out for the support you need to make it through this excruciating journey.

Warmly,

Susan

Mourning Companion Animals and the Holidays

The holiday season... which actually covers from Halloween through New Year's Eve - is indeed a particularly difficult time of year for those newly bereaved after animal companion loss. The memories are poignant, the pain feels sharper, it feels harder to distract oneself from the agony of their absence...in fact, many of us do not want to. Some may feel that our grief remains our sole connection to our precious friend and if we move on from that, does it mean we are moving on from them?

The spirit of holidays and animals seem to go together. Their ability to be Mindful and reflect joy.. present all year long....lifts our spirits during a time of reflection when we may be contemplating other losses, other disappointments, other life events that failed to meet expectations. Regardless of the status or quality of our life, animals are there to remind us that we can love no matter what... and that they care not about our worldly or personal deficits. The term Radical Acceptance... so hard for us humans to achieve, is how they live their lives.

As the sharpness of your pain abates with time, you will not lose your connection to your blessed friend. Rather, the comfort of more peaceful memories descends with the snowflakes and even may follow your tears. Rejoice in the experience they brought, be glad for your capacity to have so loved and know that such connections are indeed eternal. Take good care of yourself, as your friend would have wished.

Warm wishes of love and peace!

Susan

Thanksgiving Day Message for those mourning Animal Companions

Today can be a very difficult time for those whose animal losses are recent and those who remember decades of joy with a companion animal. The pain can return with suprising force, even though you may have had weeks or months of healing. You may wonder if this means you will never recover from their absence. You may feel isolated and lonely even if you are surrounded by loved ones this weekend. Or, if alone, you may feel that continuing life without this companionship feels unbearable.

Your pain is a testment to the love you shared with your precious friend. While time inevitably sharpens the edges of such pain, we refuse to forget an experience and being who brought such great love to our world. So on this difficult day when pain seems overwhelming, refuse to allow it to dominate all that was good, all that we cherished. Decide to focus on the special moments, the best times, the gifts that this love brought to your life. The love and bond you shared is eternal and while we grieve their physical presence, our hearts tell us that they will never be very far away.

On behalf of every animal who preceded you to Rainbow Bridge, know that as you continue to mourn, they are giving thanks for you, for your love, your loyalty, for all the care, for letting them be all they could be and accepting them deep into your soul.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Susan

The Story of Grooty

Mog Gruith

The lapse in posting to this page were the result of preoccupation with my own canine family member. The past three months were bittersweet because my darling Golden boy, Mog Gruith, had to be released from his battle with lymphoma on September 23, 2013. He was only 8.5 years old. His illness was discovered at the end of last spring and the agonizing decision making began. The context of our treatment decisions were based on one fact alone...that he not suffer. For Grooty that meant once his days were no longer filled with the activities he loved, or those activities caused too much discomfort, we would let him go.

Grooty had one chemo treatment with Elspar and began a daily regimen of prednisone. But he was anxious and highly reactive to the medications. So we decided we would go as far as the miraculous Elspar remission would take him along with the daily pred. Grooty gave us three more wonderful months. He swam, ran, clowned, guarded and had an amazing summer. The pred made his hunger constant and we indulged every whim. Family members came from far and wide to spend time with Grooty. His canine brother Seanny, a chocolate lab and his playmate, kept closely by his side. He was thoroughly spoiled while we monitored his every move, sigh, sleep, eating, breath, poops, and energy level. Once we had to add Tramadol to ease his movement and breath, we knew our time with Grooty was nearing an end.

One beautiful autumn morning as he lay out on the deck overlooking the woods, the ponds, the fields and all that had made his life joyful - it became clear that Mog Gruith was now living for us.

So, dear readers, I fed my precious Grooty one last filet mignon and held my sweet boy close as he painlessly exited the magnificent caramel canine form that had betrayed him. Our souls rose together as his spirit was released, but his ascended far above the skies while mine reluctantly returned to the miserable human form still clinging to that golden body.

Without the fantastic support, love and expertise of Ms. Jennifer Grady, Vet Tech extraordinaire, that devastating, sad, happy, confusing time would have been unbearable. Thank you Jen for always being there for me, my family and Grooty.

There are no words for the "to hell and back" cascade of emotions that followed. For the love and honor of living with an animal who so infused my soul, it felt for a while as if his departure had taken me with him. The excruciating reality of his absence was inconsolable during those first days of paralysis and pain. As it should be. We mourn in proportion to what has been lost and his precious life is honored with every futile plea for his return and every tear and memory that plagues each dawn and dusk.

Love of a sentient being requires self-less bravery at many turns, but none more so then facing a final decision one would rather abdicate to fate. The sweet and trusting face before you demands a search of your soul for mercy. A search that insists you drink from the cup that will end your earthly time together in order to free an angelic spirit before it is tarnished with pain, before its innocence is lost to the ravages of a chronic terminal illness.

While cancer claimed Mog Gruith's body, his spirit and soul eluded its evil clutches and he was returned to his Creator, to his universe of love, before its inevitable progression could further darken his days and lengthen his nights.

With all I have written, taught, advised or counseled regarding the loss of companion animals, of one thing I remain sure: the context of continuing treatment or stopping, of prolonging life or choosing a merciful death, must be based on a knowledge of your companion's capacity to tolerate or endure what medicine can offer and what he alone will gain from its ministration.

We must step aside from our own fear of imminent loss, of the heartbreak that will surely follow as we choose the most merciful option for our voiceless best friend. We must demonstrate the loyalty and unconditional love we have been shown by them throughout our all too brief time together at this pivotal moment of their urgent dependence on our self-less wisdom.

Would they not do so for us? Would they not spare us every travail, every sadness, every pain were they able?

For if we based such decisions solely on our technical abilities to prolong life and our animal's willingness to endure for our sake, we might instead protract their suffering and never let go.

Fare thee well, Precious Grooty,

Susan

Grooty and little Kismet

Grooty and Sean swimming

Grooty and best friend Seanny

Grooty as a pup

Who comes to Pet Bereavement Group? What happens there?

People from all walks of life come through the door with trembling hearts and broken souls. There is no group, age, ethnicity or profession which has not felt the devastation of animal companion loss and reached out for solace.

You may be wondering if it is worth attempting to find a "pet bereavement group" in your area. What goes on - will you have to talk? Does it mean you are weak if you need a support group meeting to get through the devastation of losing a precious animal?

Perhaps facing a group of strange people is the last thing you want to do right now. You are feeling raw and disconnected. How could anyone else possibly understand your pain? The uniqueness of your departed companion?

Your suffering is yours alone and you may not feel like sharing it. It is too soon.

On the other hand, being in the presence of those who are similarly mourning, can validate the agony you are experiencing. Can bring connection to a period of intense disconnection. Can offer a sense of community and even an opportunity to eulogize your dearest friend.

Grieving is hard and exhausting work. Isolation can exacerbate protracted mourning. With human loss, we commune with family and friends around the life of the departed person. Through religious and social rituals, healing can begin. Animal loss can be as difficult .... and in some cases more difficult... than human loss. Yet we deny ourselves the opportunities to engage and connect to forums that are available for such grief. And expect to heal without the support of these important rituals.

While bereavement groups vary in their goals and content; most animal companion bereavement groups encourage the following forms of expression:

1. Talking about your departed friend. How he came into your life. The quality of the relationship. Unique aspects of that association.

2. You may be asked to bring pictures to share with the group. This can help initiate a process of memorializing your companion.

3. Validation for the intensity of your feelings. The understanding of those who also revere animal life and share your grief.

4. Connecting with a community of animal lovers. Being among those who truly "get" the significance of this loss.

5. Warmth and healing - Believe it or not, there are smiles at bereavement gatherings when memories are shared about the precious behavior of these creatures so close to our heart. Stories of their magical spirits, stories of their challenging behavior, stories of their ability to live in the moment, stories of the stoicism when illness occurs.

Many bereavement support groups are facilitiated by licensed mental health professionals who may be able to guide you toward further help if the mourning process gets stuck, or if other factors are overwhelming your life and protracting grief.

It's fine if you can't attend just yet. But don't write off this critical resource if the weeks go on and your grief does not abate. There's comfort and strength in being among those who understand. Even if you attend and do not speak, you may find the beginning of healing.

Warmly,

Susan

APRIL 15, 2013

New York State Association of Veterinary Technicians Offers Session on Facilitation of Pet Bereavement Group

The loss of a companion animal can be among the most devastating experiences of a person's life. Support for this process has often been lacking in communities across this country leaving people adrift with grief that may take many months and even years to resolve. Without appropriate avenues for intense grief, resolution could be protracted, difficult and lead to conclusions that the person will never form this painfully ended bond again.

The view that there are two clients - not just the animal client - that come for treatment, is beginning to cause an evolution in how veterinary practices view their clients and the services they offer. Does the death of a precious companion animal also signal the end of contact with its grieving owner? Does responsibility end there?

Animals often anchor families, bringing them together in moments of great joy and difficult life experiences. Therefore, their loss may affect the entire family, each of whom will experience the loss differently. Life stage, role of animal and many other factors affect the mourning process.

Therefore, it is heartening to see that animal companion loss has become a major topic of interest at veterinary conferences. Last fall, I was honored to present at the Atlantic Coast Veterinary Conference. During three sessions on the impact of loss on staff, clients and community, it was so encouraging to feel the readiness to embrace this last aspect of an animals life - to understand that facilitating loss can be as important to clients as that first series of vaccinations for the puppy!

On April 20th, 2013, the NY State Association of Veterinary Technicians Conference will cover "How to Facilitate and Maintain a Pet Loss Support Program within a Veterinary Practice" in Syracuse NY. I am pleased to present this program and will blog about received feedback upon my return! Thanks for supporting your friends and family members through the loss of a companion animal and for visiting this site!

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