So sorry friends, for having let my blog sit stagnant for so long. To be honest though, that is how I felt- stagnant. But, now, I have a burst of creative energy and I am going to use it! To start us out, I’d like to post a paper I wrote for my recent Asian Philosophy class as it outlines the soul learning journey I’ve been on this last several months.

Don’t worry, my New Years Resolution is to write write write! And I am, you just aren’t seeing it yet. I am using my new journal daily and finally, channeling my creative ideas into recognizable forms. Did I mention I’ve decided to change my major to Fine Arts? Yeah, well, it’s not the first change, but I feel good about this one.

I think I need to follow my heart and happiness, not give into societal ideas of success. And so, I dropped the History and Economics classes I was signed up for this Semester and picked up 3D Art Foundations, Ceramics, Survey of American Lit, Social/Political Philosophy and Advanced Yoga. Be prepared to hear of my progress dear friends! There are good things cooking right now!

Namaste!

Soul Learning

By Brittany Selle

I was a strange kind of kid growing up. Highly sensitive, especially to emotion, I often saw through people’s true motives and from a very young age often felt “different” and spent much time on my own. My father was not an advocate of organized religion and so I was not allowed to go to church for fear I’d be “brain washed.” My dad had some bad experiences in the Mormon and Catholic churches as a child and these experiences were the foundation of his beliefs. Though he inflicted in me another form of bias, he ultimately meant well. He really wanted my siblings and I to make our own choices about God and even Christ’s message. He held to a lot of Native American spiritualism as well, considering the close bond with my late great grandfather, a Choctaw Indian. So you can imagine I had a strange childhood. I remember long drawn out religious debates on the topic of God and general morality between my dad and his mother. I remember the strange compilation of spiritual stories that were shared with my siblings and I remember our whole family sitting around talking about the chakras and trying to see each other’s auras.

I found friends in trees and stones and bodies of water. They all shared a unique perspective and energy. There was something sacred in them. I preferred their company over that of most human beings. I was fascinated with the unexplained and I remember the first day that I found out there were people who did not believe there was a God. I was baffled! I had never heard of such a thing, and it blew my world open. I felt very, very sad about it. I asked myself, riding home from school on the bus, a mere fourth grader…Is there a God? I paused only a moment before doubt escaped me, as if every part of my insides glowed with light, scaring away the shadows. I just knew. I answered myself…”Of course there is a God.” And I can say that this feeling came not from delusion or fear, or doubt or even imbedded belief. It felt innate. It felt apparent. It unfolded in front of me moment by moment. I told myself, they just didn’t know where to find God, they weren’t looking in the right places.

Since that moment my life has been a spiritual journey. I was the kid in highschool that listened to the Beatles. You wouldn’t catch me listening to anything but music from the

The Beatles

nineteen fifties, sixties or seventies. I was all about the messages I was hearing in these songs, they were how I felt, and I had finally found something with which to identify! That era, the sixties, defined me! It opened me up to Eastern thought! I explored it, but as a kid, never breached the surface, jumping from exciting new topic to exciting new perspective and finding I had a lot to work through before I could fully grasp what I was learning about. I had the best English teacher. He was in disguise, for he was not an English teacher, he was a philosophy teacher who taught me how to ask myself the questions I was trying to put a form to. He used to tell me to “get off the fence Selle!” in attempt to get me to debate and to pick a side. But I always sympathized with both sides, seeing a middle path. When the book Siddhartha was assigned reading, I read it in one night. The Buddhist message resonated within me, and I couldn’t run from it. It called to me.

It wasn’t until five years ago, when my incredibly dear Grandmother died from brain cancer that I started having strange experiences. I was overcome by fear, as if all at once I came to every frightening realization that had ever occurred to me, my entire life. I saw things, I heard things, my dreams were plagued with strange faces and forced me to face the fears I was avidly running from. I woke up in the night to what appeared to be figures standing around my bed. I was terrified. I could not explain what I felt, I was a ball of panic and tension. I was a grown mother of two and couldn’t sleep without my lights on. I got tired of living in fear and so I decided to educate myself. I have spent the last five years learning about intuition, how to develop it and understanding my own intuitive capabilities. I have in fact been very surprised by the realizations and healing that have filled my days since. I have learned to understand a kind of “formula” that works for me in learning to overcome those things that hold me back from understanding my true identity, and the true identity of all things. I am still, and will always be on this quest.

I’ve reached the point now where I have helped many people successfully open to their own intuitive abilities and learn to connect with their inner voice and I could fill pages with the amazing and life changing events that have unfolded in these people’s lives, and in my own. But let me say that when I enrolled in your class this semester I did not realize the impact it would have on my life. It was no crazy coincidence that I was also enrolled in Yoga class in the same semester either. It was like the spiritual teachings I pulled from both my yoga experience and that of Asian Philosophy reinforced and put a label to so much of what I felt to be part of my own, intrinsic sense of spiritual truth. I never felt that there was only one way to God. I just felt that the problem with the Western way of looking at things depended so much on fear based tactics, and processes that preached faith and yet made the church a crutch to lean on, and that bred dishonesty with oneself, hypocrisy and delusion. I wondered why people couldn’t be honest with themselves and accept that maybe there is no right answer. Maybe we don’t know anything.

In five years I have made every effort to be true to this inner voice and to trust myself. I’ve learned a lot about who I am. I have struggled but learned to let go of my attachment to the physical and material. I have learned to accept and embrace the process of death, in the same way I embrace the process of birth. I have realized and recognized a self-identity born of false ideals, ingrained beliefs, attachments, experiences and adopted perceptions. I have learned to address these attachments and crutches head on and I have learned the growth and satisfaction and closeness to God that comes from doing so, despite the pain, and despite the struggle. I have learned to see good and bad as relative and I have, in the process seen the greater picture.

In the beginning of the semester, when we began our talk on Hinduism, you mentioned the quote “Truth is one, but the wise see it many ways.” I identified with this statement! I felt that there were many ways to God, and that each had the right to his own journey. I also enjoyed when we explored Gandhi’s philosophy and how he saw no real benefit in conversion. He encouraged each soul to embark on their own soul learning and to embrace their journey and spiritual inclination. You spoke of All as One, and that in Hinduism when attempting to change one’s self for the better you help the whole of the organic being/universe/creator and all in existence. This resonated with my sense of interconnectedness. I spoke earlier of my true love and connection to nature. The life of these plants and elements are just as valuable and important to me as any living thing. I did not have much knowledge at all about Hinduism before this class, other than what can be gleaned from one viewing of the film Gandhi, and so to feel such resonance excited me! It was very hard to not speak these realizations during class and annoy everyone with my incessant banter on these topics and so I hope you realize that this paper is what I have been waiting for- an opportunity to pull all the things I felt and learned, together, into one comprehensive, understandable format. I have a lot of fragments of thought, all over the board and right now, but this is my attempt to pull them all together.

I found much affirmation of the general sense that I had urging me to pursue further spiritual growth. In the words of the Upanishads: “The wise, realizing through meditation the timeless Self, beyond all perception, hidden in the cave of the heart, leave pain and pleasure far behind. Those who know they are neither body nor mind, but the immemorial Self, the divine principle of existence, find the source of all joy and live in joy abiding.” (Katha Upanishad, pg 49) I have seen great change in myself and others simply by choosing to look in the mirror and be honest with ourselves. Sometimes, we are the mirror for each other, but we have learned now that our journey is our own. We cannot depend on anything outside of ourselves to enforce our delusions, and all it takes is watching them crumble down around us even once, and there really is no turning back. The process of eliminating that which holds us back from seeing our true self is painful and full of brutal honesty, but grows easier when we do not see that there is one “right” and one “wrong” way of doing things. “In the secret cave of the heart, two are seated by life’s fountain. The separate ego drinks of the sweet and bitter stuff, liking the sweet, disliking the bitter, while the supreme Self drinks sweet and bitter neither liking this nor disliking that. The ego gropes in darkness, while the Self lives in light.” (Katha Upanishad, pg 50)

In learning to consciously take note of the ego’s influence on our life, we slowly eliminate that influence when we sense it does not come from the light, but the darkness. When the ego is in full reign, as it is for many, we live in fear and suffering. When we have seen/felt/experienced a moment that is void of that suffering, truly void in oneness and gratitude, we will forever strive for that moment again. Though it’s jumping ahead, this is what I also took from the Zen Buddhist poet Basho when he said: “what is important is to keep our mind high in the world of true understanding, and returning to the world of our daily experience to seek therein the truth of beauty. No matter what we may be doing at a given moment, we must not forget that it has a bearing upon our everlasting self which is poetry.”

That’s it, on the money! To paraphrase what I take from this, I might say he implies that we attempt to uphold an understanding and apply these teachings to our life, and we attempt to emulate that which we understand as truth, and returning to our daily lives, however removed we may grow at times from that “true understanding” or “sudden enlightenment” we continue our quest for the truth of beauty and true identity, void of the projections our “identity” has taken on. From that moment on, we must understand that every action has direct impact on that true identity, which is found in the simplicity of the moment, and we will consistently move, with every effort of our being, to find that moment of enlightenment and truth again.

Just when I was really getting excited about Hinduism and how I felt it gave form and figure to that which I was discovering on my own through intuitive and meditative measures, I was dragged into Buddhism! I mentioned before that I had read the book Siddhartha, but this was years ago and this was before I was out in the world on my own. I loved revisiting the Buddha’s journey and getting a more in depth view of his philosophy and way of life. I took greatly to the Four Nobel Truths: there is suffering; there is a cause for suffering; there is a cessation of suffering; and there is a path out of suffering. When we talked about the three marks of existence (impermanence, no self, suffering) I learned a new lesson. I learned how all of the suffering in my life was that of my own creation. What suffering I experienced was directly related to that which I held as my identity, attachments I held about myself and what it meant to be “me” and fear that every time I reached a point of safety and comfort it would fall away again, and that perhaps I was to blame for that fact. Really, I needed to recognize that I was hanging onto these past ideals about self-identity when I needed instead to realize my true self under the layers and layers of assumed identity. My true self cannot be summed up by a bumper sticker, the clothes I wear, my haircut, my body’s appearance, the objects I own and flaunt. And I realized that, as mentioned in the Upanishad quote above, I was clinging to the “sweet” and cringing at the “bitter.”

That’s something Taoism really taught me as well. I was not willing to let go of the “sweet” and so I clung to it in such a way that when it was gone, and the “bitter” period arose, I did nothing but mourn the absence of the “sweet.” Consider the following quote from the Tao-Te Ching: “There is nothing softer and weaker than water, and yet there is nothing better for attacking hard and strong things. For this reason there is no substitute for it. All the world knows that the weak overcomes the strong and the soft overcomes the hard. But none can practice it.” To me, I took this to mean that water, the most flexible of things, is most effective in overcoming all that is thrown at it, and by moving fluidly, and accepting the change of course and anything that fell in its path, it always overcomes it with a sense of wu-wei. It does not try to overcome it, it simply does. Also, a drop of water may not wear away stone, but thousands together hold the greatest power. This to me, speaks of the interconnection of all things, and the realization we get of this when we act as water acts…fluid to life’s changes and accept impermanence. In accepting that all things are impermanent, I also had to accept that suffering is a part of life.

Suffering is not only a part of life, but is unavoidable until we achieve full and total understanding of our true identity in enlightenment. And our true identity means facing suffering, as the Buddha did. He tried all he knew how to do. He submitted to the Hindu approach and deprived himself. He had lived the life of great indulgence. He sat under the Bodhi tree and faced all that that “haunted” his existence. He approached his fears head on and through a true attempt and desire to achieve relief from the suffering he felt, he was honest and did what it took to overcome these attachments and became enlightened.

In class we also discussed, throughout, yin and yang. We approached the perspectives of both the Indian and Asian view of opposing energies in the universe. I was quite taken by how my understanding of this also took on deeper meaning. When we discussed how it was seen that male and feminine energies not only balance, but complement each other, I started looking at human relationships differently; even my own relationship. I had some understanding of what they said, that too much yin or too much yang created imbalance and in turn created problems. I started applying this mode of thought to all kinds of opposing energies. I looked at conflict differently and when approached with an opposing view point I looked at the situation as holding a lesson for me, a lesson designed to realign me to balance. But this took a strong ability to be honest with myself, for it would be easy to do if I deluded myself into believing that I was always right. Sometimes, I had to admit, in face of pride and ego, that I was wrong and I had to start back at ground zero and ask myself where this false understanding originated, that I might no longer be slave to it.

Throughout the class my pride and ego were consistently bruised. As a person who can be pretty hard on themselves I realized that so many of the ideals I had supported and advertised, I had not truly applied to my life, and so I made an effort to apply them and great positive change has occurred in my life as a result. I look up so much to the teachings of Buddha, Gandhi and those in the Bhagavad-Gita, Chuang Tzu and Hui-Neng that I felt suddenly that hope escaped me. How could I ever, no matter if I devoted a thousand lifetimes, reach the level of understanding these teachers reached? How could I, when I still struggle against my ego day by day, moment by moment? And at just the perfect time, Basho was introduced. I loved hearing about how he experienced these glimpses of truth but still continued to struggle against the self. I identified with some of his pain and hopelessness during the process of detachment from the self, in the words of the Basho handout provided in class “Basho had been casting away his earthly attachments, one by one, in the years preceding the journey, and now he had nothing else to cast away but his own self which was in him as well as around him. He had to cast this self away for otherwise he was not able to restore his true identity.” We are reminded throughout the handout that Basho lived with “one foot in the other world and the other foot in this one.” Hearing of this gave me the realization that all persons who seek this path suffer. That we are presented the enlightened view, but they suffered as we do, and they persevered to achieve the ultimate goal and union of oneness with all things.

It was soon after this experience with Basho that I had another realization in Christ’s teachings. I asked my husband to read me a prayer from the Bible, as it was a faith testing time for me, when we eventually began talking about the passage where Jesus prays to God in fear of his fate, which is to be arrested and ultimately crucified. He weeps in front of God and in him we see fear. But ultimately, we see faith. We see a man who walks into his death because out of it, he sees the truth of all things. Being very unversed in the Bible, I cried when I learned of this, as I realized it was being enforced in me, that all spiritual masters recognize the need to face pain, suffering and fear, in light of the voice that draws them to it in love, for it is only in facing this pain that we can be freed from it.

And so I seek to live in the moment, to let go of a need to control the factors that are out of my control, to surrender to the voice within me, leading me somewhere higher than I am now. I submit myself to the spiritual journey, learning the simple way and choosing to let go of a need to mourn the bitter and celebrate the sweet, but instead to emulate the farmer who, regardless of circumstance, good or bad fortune, responds only with “perhaps.” I yearn to achieve the understanding of the great masters, and remove that which deludes me and clouds my ability to see my true Self, and the truth of beauty. And I have you, Mr. Kaitz, to thank for guiding me a bit further into concepts that have so much more to teach me than I have even touched on. And I have these master’s to thank for embarking on us, this great knowledge and acting as guides leading us to our own understanding of Truth, on our own, very individual journey and soul learning. And the journey has really just begun…

You know, there have been a lot of tragedies occurring around me lately and it has me wondering to myself, why?

I believe that everything happens for a reason and I give my faith fully to this belief. This can be hard when I am going through a painful or trying period but no matter how mad, belligerent or willing to give up I am, I always remember that grain of truth. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

This drives my husband crazy. He wants to know what lesson stubbing his toe repeatedly holds for him. Maybe a need to exercise self-patience, understanding or perhaps it is meant to be a bold whap to the psyche reminding him to live in the now?

But when something really horrible happens to us, or someone we love, we ask “what have I done to deserve this?” and we question whether our “God” is just. I have had many of these moments, drenched in self-pity and crying to the heavens to spare me my suffering. Looking back, without that suffering, I would not have pieced together this woman standing before you. I’m a bit ragged around the edges, sometimes I have a temper. Okay, often I do. I have been known to be impatient and sometimes, I let the dishes sit in the sink. All. Damn. Day.

But I know my weaknesses and I know my strengths and I live consciously attempting to grow with every choice I’m offered. I reach upwards and evaluate my feelings and understand their roots so that I can better release them and move on. I am optimistic, idealistic and full of love. I believe in the goodness of Mankind and try to fill every interaction with as much sincerity as possible. To me, the past is in the past and, like an old photo album, I may pull it out once in a while and peruse the memories but often, what is over is over. How can I learn from it? Okay great, moving on.

It’s normal to have these feelings of “why me?” but something I need to learn is to pull myself up, whilst the weight of this lifetime’s conditioning weighs me down simultaneously. I must change (or at least become conscious of) my trained reactions to things that are “bad.” It’s a slow and arduous process and quite frankly, there are times I want to cross my arms shake my head and scream “NOOO!” just as my four year son old does.

Sometimes I don’t want to face my weaknesses. Sometimes I just want something to be easy for a change. Sometimes, I make the mistake of believing I have evolved and I am no longer a slave to these vices and I puff my chest up real big and start spouting off advice to everyone around me. And then that advice comes back to bite me in the ass…ouch!

Now, I must give myself some credit, because I have evolved but a person who thinks they know everything, is far from wise. For the wise person knows, there is always something to learn. But the wise person also practices self-forgiveness and love religiously. And so I patch up my ego, pull myself together, claim responsibility for my mistakes and move forward.

What are your lessons? What “bad” things happen to you over and over? These things that force uncomfortable feelings on us, they are not “bad”- really they are blessings in disguise for they often grant us what we’ve been wishing for. The problem is that when we wish, we assume our problems should be easily resolved, without much effort. You know “Bibbity bobbity boo!” and all that good stuff. (Gee Disney, thanks for that!) 🙂

Maybe there is no good or bad. Maybe the next time something challenging happens to you, you will stop and ask yourself “why?” and rather than respond in the way you have become accustomed to responding. Maybe you could drop the defenses and be honest with yourself. It’s hard to admit your own weaknesses sometimes. It’s especially hard when someone else points them out for you.

In the past, when this happened to me, I would just throw hate at this person. I would ask, who do they think they are, showing me my weaknesses? I would turn from them and I would close them out.

Now, I thank them. They helped me see something about myself that I didn’t see on my own. And yes, it still hurts. Oh, it hurts so good! Okay, that might be going a bit far, but you know what I mean. At least I know I am being shown an opportunity to grow… or to fall back into my comfortable little rut.

Well, we tell ourselves its comfortable, but it’s not. It’s only familiar. Life is change and the sooner you change your perspective enough to accept that fully, the happier you will be.

But really, Wesley says it best:

And as crazy as it sounds, the next time you feel pain, or transformation graces your path, try to embrace it for a change! Growing can be painful, but you will be happy for it tomorrow. Believe you me. And besides, why remain a caterpillar when your beautiful wings wait just around the corner?

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So, I’ve taken an unannounced hiatus. I’m sorry. The good news is, I’ve been on a spiritual journey. To be honest it wasn’t very fun at times. Like Frodo, I went from the safety and comfort of my home into the darkest, most perilous parts of my soul, and back again. But journeys like that change you forever. Home is never quite the same again.

It’s hard to put into words really. Nothing exceptionally dramatic occurred over my time away but I struggled with some depression, which I know was indication of a block, or series of them, passing. I definitely released some pain from my past through focusing on memories and how these instances helped me to form beliefs which shape my current reality.

For example I had been struggling with a lot of issues regarding my self-image. I know it sounds cliché because so many deal with the same issues every day, but overused as this topic may be, these beliefs truly made every day difficult. I spent my time worrying about what judgments might be had about what I was wearing, my hair, my body. I couldn’t look in the mirror without subtly bashing myself for not mirroring the images of beauty that society idolizes. I will never look like Lady Gaga or Angelina Jolie but I will always look like Brittany and that’s what I had to come to terms with.

These structures society builds for us are like cages to our personal expression. If we are too concerned about not fitting this image of perfection, then when will we have time to discover who we really are? All can concern ourselves with is emulating what “people” want us to be and in this process we lose sight of the trap being laid for us!

We have to change our mindset. Changing this mode of thinking however is not easy. It takes an effort to be consciously aware of our thoughts, even thoughts going on under the surface of our normal internal dialogue, so that we can acknowledge their existence, how they affect us, and can change them to more positive thought processes. When we do this, we “level up” (so to say) and reach the next, slightly clearer level of perception. But every faulty belief we hunt down, seek out and pull up by the roots leaves an empty space which needs to be filled.

We are forced to fill it by contemplating how the previous set of beliefs held us back and what circumstances helped to form them and in the process we discover certain “truths.” These truths are inherent and if we are honest with ourselves and are always under the surface of each situation, waiting to be uncovered that you might find and embrace your own divinity and perfection.

Fill this space with new, more fluid beliefs. Beliefs that raise us upwards, not drag us down. This blank space is a new canvas waiting to be filled with your amazing potential! But it’s important that we remain ever open to a new belief coming in to replace that one. Like a software update, the structure you already have may serve you well enough, but sometimes flaws are found and patches and updates are installed and this makes your utilization of that program smoother and more in line with your ultimate purpose. And sometimes, it takes getting used to, there are challenges to adapting to these changes, but ultimately, by remaining open to these “updates” we say that if another thought comes to us, another perspective or mode of thinking, we are willing to see it, objectively and not allow our current belief structures to leave us defensive of what we have worked so hard to obtain and build.

We must always be prepared to rip these structures down and build up again from the ground level. Occasionally infuriating? Most definitely! But in this process you develop patience for yourself and this patience bleeds into other areas of your life with surprising speed. You develop a need to strive for perfection in all that you do. Not in a confining way, because you also do not hold your definition of perfection to the same mold that most of society does. People take notice of this approach. It intrigues them and makes them curious about why or how it seems to work. It makes them wonder if it’s worth it. They can’t stop wondering until they finally take a deep breath and give it a try themselves.

Have you watched a child learn to walk? At first each step is cautious. Maybe they stand up and it looks like they may step, but instead they fall to their knees and crawl because it’s safer, it’s what they are accustomed to. But soon they know they are capable of more, and they know they can’t continue to fear it and you see them go for it and they take those first brave steps! Oh, and the look of triumph on their face as they continue to gain confidence! They move from stumbling, halting steps to confident strides, and before you know it, they are sprinting!

If only we could remember what it was like to learn to walk for the first time. This was our first lesson in understanding that nothing comes easy, but what you have to gain from the experience is insurmountable! Imagine if you could only crawl where you needed to go? Imagine this was happening to you as an adult! And imagine discovering that all this time you were capable of walking. The world would open up to you! You would discover how much this has changed your life for the positive! It might not be easy to start.

You may fumble, stumble and fall. It will be hard, but you can do it! Discover what waits for you; don’t give into a pattern just because it’s easier. Discover the satisfaction which comes from exploring your patterns and beliefs and free yourself from your invisible cage.

Now that you notice it, it might not be so invisible. This is a blessing. Break free and be the best you that you can be! I will always be here to support you. ❤

Recently, I began seeing the number eleven everywhere and had no idea why but I felt it noteworthy and pondered it often. At one point I stumbled upon an article about the significance of numbers, especially eleven, while browsing the internet. Much of what I read mentioned how the number eleven, in particular 11:11, was the Universe communicating to us that right now, we have the power of intense manifestation possibilities. It is also a reminder to focus on our thoughts and behaviors because of what we have done to ourselves. We are improperly using our God given abilities to manifest in our lives because we do not realize our infinite potential. This is why we are seeing weather and Earth changes occur more often and more severely that we ever have. This is why we face global difficulties on many fronts. It is time to come together and focus on a simultaneous vision of how this world could be. We must renew our connection to the divine source. I didn’t really know what to think of this, one way or the other, but I read it with an open mind, and like anything, I am willing to try it on for size before immediately rebuking it as impossible.

And so I did. I put a ton of conscious emphasis on positive thinking. I lived it. I found myself in need of constant focus on re-training my thoughts and still it takes much effort to make sure I am separating my ego from my inner voice. By doing this we eliminate the presence of fear based thought processes. I released these fears by illuminating the situation through my connection to my true self and the Divine source. This process was difficult but when I began to grasp it and apply small scale to difficulties in my own life, things began falling into place. I’m not claiming I’ve mastered anything, in fact I’m still learning this new and difficult lesson, but whether what I experience is coincidence or something substantial on the spiritual front, I don’t know that I care. I am happier when I think positive. I am satisfied living true to myself, or really truly trying to. I like to focus on things that make me grateful. I enjoy filling my days with love and I’m going to keep doing it.

So you all know my intense passion for all things green, sustainable, recyclable…specifically Earthships. I’ve been really focusing on manifestation in this area. With both my husband and I going to school, raising three kids and only one income it’s hard to imagine that gathering the money and supplies needed to build our own is within reach. But I have to change this mindset! And so I prayed, I focused, I visualized. I saw myself living the life I want, in my sustainable home. I saw those I loved around me, participating in this rewarding lifestyle. I planned how I wanted to build my home, and where. Anytime the doubtful voice of my ego piped up “No way do you have the money, time or experience to do this!” I would laugh and tell “Poindexter” (my ego’s pet name) to go away, I have this handled with the help of my Guides and my Higher Self.

I told my Mom and Dad to watch “The Garbage Warrior” a documentary all about Mike Reynolds and his amazing Earthship homes. Within a week my mother wanted to build an Earthship greenhouse! I was so excited that I had others excited about the many possibilities these structures allow us!

Within two weeks I was working for my Mother in a sponsored community garden harvesting food for shareholders when I asked a co-worker if she had heard of such structures. “Oh yes!” she said and went on to explain that she had a degree in Green Building, hands on experience in building such structures and even had plans for an Earthship Greenhouse! I couldn’t believe it! You must understand that it is hard to find someone with experience in green building in Northern Idaho and surrounding areas. Trust me, I’ve looked. The epicenter of this cutting edge green lifestyle is in New Mexico and Arizona! I was amazed at how things are coming together!

This is just one example of the power of manifestation and positive thinking in my life, but I could go on forever and tell you about the massage therapist who works at a very successful resort who offered to hand my cards out to people in search of chakra cleansing/balancing (talk about major business growth)! The people who have entered my life and opened up huge windows of opportunity….I could go on forever and ever. My point is, when will you try? When will you devote yourself to conscious thought? How will you know if it works until you really throw yourself into it? Will you manifest consciously or continue on the path you are on? Whatever your choice I wish you peace and loving guidance on your path to personal self discovery, and many blessings on your journey!

We find ourselves in unprecedented times Brothers and Sisters, time for me to break my silence and speak of the things that have been communicated to me by beings of Light, Ascended Masters and loving Guides and Angels over the last several months.

I am always receiving messages from the Divine, some messages affect only me, but other messages are much larger and affect all of humanity and Earth in general. Recently, I received communication and had the following epiphany:

I found myself drudged down by life and everything seemed to be going wrong. I couldn’t figure out why I was in this rut, but upon further digging found that my hopelessness arose from this belief that the Divine Creator sat on a pedestal , far above my head and though I strove to let go of emotional and spiritual burdens keeping me from Divine wisdom and enlightenment, I was so far from this perfection.

It seemed an impossible task to unite with the Creator as I had so much work to do if I was even to compare in perfection and all I could do is keep making mistakes! However, like light through the clouds a message came to me via Angels of God who helped me to see that I am not “bad.” I am not bad and these burdens to not make me so. I am already perfect in the love of God. I must not look at myself as separate from God but one small part. I must treat myself with respect and others, recognizing they too are Divine. And when I saw things in this way my burdens were lifted! I am not an imperfect being on an impossible journey, I am already perfect, in God’s image, and when I love myself and others for the Divine spark within them, that is when the spark grows greater within me and that that perceived space separating myself from God, and the spirits of my brothers and sisters, grows ever smaller.

I truly believe we are the brink of some major world changes, changes which some are greatly in denial of. Be prepared as these changes will be big and the face of this world will never be the same. We have an opportunity to make this shift one that changes our world for the better, one that brings us together within the realization of the Divine within us and a shift that helps us to create an existence un-tinged by fear and filled with love and light!

Take a moment to think about your purpose and your Divine gifts…now is the time to recognize and hone them like never before!

Don’t be deceived, dear friends, by my lack of posts lately. Much has been going on in my life however I’ve struggled to pull it all together into a conclusive and functioning blog post. I still haven’t figured out how, but I thought I would give it a stab.

My healing work has seen great improvement over the last few weeks and I fully attribute it to a meditation that I was recently led to.

Now, if you know me, you know that I have a thirst for knowledge of the paranormal, metaphysical and ethereal to an obsessive level. Even my understanding of Extraterrestrials and UFO’s (though the weak point of my studies) is fairly extensive, in one day I was introduced to several pieces of information that I had never heard of before in my life! With my extensive background and obsession of “The X-Files” and growing up around my father (with an intense interest in this topic), this is saying something! Even if I don’t have detailed knowledge on the topic, it’s truly rare to come across something that I’ve never at least heard of before…

A little background first: for several months I felt like I was in a funk. I felt disconnected from the Divine (though of course this is never true) and, well, depressed. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted only to be left alone, in my dark living room to dissolve into lives that weren’t mine via the telly. I did, however, have an intense desire to use my psychic abilities for something good. I had such a desire to offer them up freely and help those who really needed it. At the same time, I couldn’t bear the thought of answering simple questions like “should I leave this job” or “am I in the right relationship?” Mind you, there is nothing wrong with these questions but my state of mind could not tolerate it right then. I needed to help on a missing person’s case, or help a family with closure or death. I needed to help with something profound and help to do more than simply “read,” I needed to heal.

It’s pretty darn amazing that a person so willing to share their gift couldn’t find a single situation where it would be accepted but that’s what happened to me. I searched the internet high and low and most of what I found was people telling others that online psychics could not be trusted and that we are all con artists waiting to prey on innocent, vulnerable victims and wring ’em for all they are worth. Mind you, there are those out there, unfortunately, that might take advantage of people in this position however I was saddened because I had no outlet for this energy coursing through my veins!

I joined a psychic forum, which was great, but still a huge piece of myself was missing. Until I found out about Starseeds and the Starseed Network. There are varying levels of openness on this topic but Starseeds are thought to be reincarnated beings with previous lives as spiritually evolved beings from other galaxies and planets. Supposedly, they are sent to Earth, and are reincarnated like any other human soul, to help raise the consciousness of humanity and to help us prepare for a shift from the 3rd to the 4th dimension. This is all happening right now.

Many Starseeds have limited memory of their origins however, embedded within their DNA is something waiting to be activated at a predetermined time. When activated, many have flashbacks to memories long forgotten where contact with Extraterrestrial/Light Beings have occurred in this lifetime and of memories from other lifetimes and galaxies.

How do you know if you might be a Starseed? Well, I found this terrific, simple and fairly short meditation that helped me. In having several intuitively open friends and family try this meditation, many have experienced a definite change in themselves. A positive one. When doing this meditation myself, I cannot even begin to describe the physical and emotional energy that I experienced. I can only recommend that you check this meditation out as well as more information on Starseeds at this website . For the meditation click on “Starseed Self-Activation Process.” You just might find a lot of things fall into place for you when you do! I certainly did.

Want a network to connect with other Starseeds or simply metaphysical types? The International Starseed Network is amazing! You must be open minded to join this community. They do not tolerate discrimination or mean/rude comments and the application process is fairly intensive but once you join you will have access to a wide array of information including great and trustworthy psychics wanting to practice skills ranging from healing, readings, astrological chart reading and much, much more…for free!

Since completing this process I haven’t come face to face with an ET, or zoomed to other galaxies in a Star Ship (yet) 😉 but I have opened up considerably, hit a fast track to letting go of ego programming and spiritual blocks and man, have I opened up to my healing abilities. I have done much research and practice on both group, long distance and hands on healing and am now going to begin to offer healings as an additional service.

These healings are not meant to be used in replacement of actual medical care. These healings are to help uncover blocks to your success, emotional traumas from this life and past lives, and help you to release these things so that you can make the transition into your true self during this time of great change. I also take volunteers to receive free healings during my monthly Circle of Spirit meetings. If you are interested, please email me today at orange.rae@gmail.com.