Do you ever get that feeling that people are trying to steal your shit? Not like your car or your jewellery, but the things that make you you? Those cool, unique things that once formed the basis of everything you knew about yourself?
I have.
It’s odd because by no means are these things mine but I once felt like they were. What do I mean? Writing of course. Fantasy (for Ileandra) and erotica for me.

I came out of my writing shell for the first time in 2010. Before that I’d never talked about writing in any sort of significant way. However in October 2010 Ileandra kicked off this blog and I joined her (properly, rather than lurking) last year. Between the pair of us we’ve been to cons and writing groups and spoken word events, more in the last four three years than we have done our entire lives. We are fully out of the closet.
Great right? Going out there and meeting others doing the same thing is part of doing what we do.

But wait… we? Does that mean there are other people out there doing the same stuff as me? People with the same hopes, dreams, problems and successes? More or less dependent on where they are on their personal journey? Bet your arse it does.

Most of the time this doesn’t bother me. It’s the way life works, right? There will always be someone out there who is better/faster/smarter/richer/better looking/slimmer than you. Someone with more skill or experience. I got used to that truth in secondary school when I spent most of my time pining for a boyfriend (ugh, I know…).

But writing? Writing was the one thing that I did. I was good at it. It was mine. It made me special.

But hundreds, thousands, nay- millions of people out there are doing exactly the same as me. Probably with the same thoughts about it.

Yesterday I checked out the #erotica tag on Twitter, just to see what was going on. There are sooooooooo many authors out there. Loads. I think, even though I kinda knew I couldn’t be the only one, seeing the amount of books on Amazon and Smashwords, chatting with people on Twitter, visiting peer blogs… all of this has given me a much clearer idea of what’s going on out there. How fierce it is. How totally not special I am.

😦

Not that it’s a bad thing exactly. Every now and then folk needs a slap in the face to get the hell over themselves. After all, if you take yourself too seriously how the hell are you going to have any fun? But on the other hand… I miss feeling special.

Even close friends who (I thought) had no literary leanings talk about writing a book one day. I could write a whole series on the ‘oh, when I have time I’ll settle down and do some writing. Kinda like a hobby’ thing but I haven’t yet figured out a way to do it without getting insulted and unduly angry. So I won’t. But my thing, my special only-I-do-this-so-it’s-mine-thing, isn’t mine. I share it with a bunch of people. With you.

It’s taken me a while to realise but you know what? That’s not such a bad thing. You’re all pretty decent people and in truth it’s an honour to share anything with you.

/sappy shit

Hells bells, whistles, trumpets and confetti! This has been a GOOD week. I feel like I have some of my flow back and I can finally start checking things off my list. ^_^

Last Week
Let’s have a look at what I managed to achieve, eh?

~Finish deep edits on ‘Eric & Morgan.’
Done. Finito. Complete.
I’ve never been more glad to put down my green pen than I was at the end of that round of edits. I hate the fact that it took me so long, but it’s time to move on from that. I’ve done it now. The next step is to transpose my notes back into Scrivener and get on with the fine edits that inevitably must follow.

~Put the last set of freebies on the solo website and link in the domain names
Done except for the domain names. At this stage I need to save the money and focus on generating more so I can afford the extravagance of domain names. I know it’s not a vast amount but with Da Shared Brain‘s other work dried up for the time being, we have to be really (really!) careful with the pennies.
But! The site is ready to view so if you’d care to click here you can see the solo site as it stands for now during what I like to call my ‘pre launch period’. Let me know what you think, eh?

July 2014 Goal RecapStrictly speaking, since this post is still in July I can still write goals as if for July. However I’ve pretty much achieved what I wanted to achieve so there seems little point in lingering over it. Take a look at this:

~If necessary, chase up Breathless Press re submission of ‘Slippers & Chains’ and prepare for submission to the next small press
Done. I don’t need to move onto the next small press just yet. There are developments but I’d rather keep schtuum until I understand exactly where I stand. Just a few more days, folks, I hope. *fingers crossed*

~Finish deep edits on ‘Eric & Morgan’ and transfer back to Scrivener
Just a few more pages to transfer back to Scrivener at this point but I’ll get those done tonight, no worries there.

~Complete solo website
Done. See above. You can check out the pre-launch site here.

Not bad, right? Having purpose and direction is key to getting anything done. Now I know where I want to be, I’m finding it a hell of a lot easier to progress.

Goals For August 2014
Having all that done leaves me needing to figure out what comes next. Hmm….

Outline the next ‘Slippers & Chains’ story and sketch out ideas for the two that follow

Finalise release date for ‘Eric & Morgan’ and get file sent to editor

Finalise artwork and design of ‘Eric & Morgan’ cover

Heh. Yeah. That should be plenty. Okay, in that case:

This Week
To achieve those things I need to do some hustling.

Get in contact with my cover designer to discuss ideas for ‘Eric & Morgan’ cover

Begin fine edits on ‘Eric & Morgan’. Complete at least 2,000 words.

Blimey. That should keep me busy. ^_^

As ever, I love to hear from you guys. I hope you’ll chip in and let me know how you’re getting on, here or on Twitter or on Facebook. Talking to you makes me smile (even if I no longer feel special!).

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About Raven ShadowHawk

I take great pleasure in writing erotica and am merely one side of the proverbial coin. My other half, 'Ileandra Young' writes fantasy and the occasional comedy piece.
My six-part series 'Meeting Each Other' is available in full, through Amazon and Smashwords while my debut novella 'Sugar Dust' is now re-released (!) available through Amazon via Little Vamp Press.

3 Responses to It’s Mine! *angry face* – (& I Haz Planz 31/07)

Actually knuckling down to write a story instead of thinking about doing it, that’s something that you did on your own. The fact that other writers have overcome that hurdle doesn’t diminish the significance of that achievement.

Sure, there are a lot of stories out there, and some of them may even be better than yours. But how do writers get better? They write. They learn. They develop their own style and following. And they adapt when the audience wants something different.

I guess there is something to be said though, for the motivation you can gain when other writers that you know start making inroads in your favourite genre.

For example, Tess is writing a SFF story that looks promising. It’s called Islands in the Sky, and as story ideas go it’s refreshingly new, or I just haven’t seen anything like it.

Now, I’m not especially worried, because I wasn’t planning on doing anything quite like that. However, it did get me thinking that maybe I need to branch out a bit more. I mean, I kind of have an idea for that already, but more wouldn’t hurt.