While we loved the new images, they lacked a certain sophistication. Which is why we at Stormtrooper Larry took it upon ourselves to improve the Rogue One spread.

You’re welcome, EW!

Death troopers

Did you know that the dreaded Death Troopers are NOT what they are? They’re actually the galaxy’s most famous heavy metal band! Don’t believe the Rebel propaganda, Death Troopers rock!

In fact here they are doing a shoot for Star Wars Super Soakers:

And a holozine spread for Good Housekeeping’s Summer Catalog 2016:

Support the Death Troopers, buy their album today!

Stormtroopers

This is the real reason for the Rogue One reshoot: it ain’t a Disney film without a song and dance number.

Baze and Chirrut

Allegedly, Baze is a heavy weapons specialist, while Chirrut is a blind warrior who follows the path of the Jedi. But there’s more to these two than meets the eye.

Baze is actually an enterprising businessman who diverts the Rebellion’s meager supplies for sale on the black market:

What Baze doesn’t know is that his “blind” buddy Chirrut has a secret of his own:

What a bunch of lowlifes. Truly despicable Rebel scum.

The Tech Guy

Every crew has a techie guy. For the Rogue crew, they have Weed Ahmed:

“Going against a laser moon and a space wizard? That be crazy man! I’ll have what you’re smoking.”

The Death Star raid

According to Disney, this is one of the scenes that had to be reshot for Rogue One to get a PG rating. In this scene, Jyn Erso and an unidentified male lead celebrate in a trash compactor after successfully stealing the Death Star plans:

“Dammit Larry, hurry up will you? We’re gonna get caught!”

“Im… almost… done… Jyn.”

Detective Krennic

Following the theft of the Death Star blueprints, the Empire sends its most capable inspector to track the suspects… Detective Orson Krennic.

“A discarded disguise, counterfeit access cards, and a used condom… This was obviously the work of Stormtrooper Larry. All elementary, my dear Tarkin.”

Our hero Jyn Erso is caught trying to steal a rebel fighter and is taken into custody. When her background is revealed she’s given the choice of going on a mission to the planet to see what kind of weapons are being tested or being turned over to bounty hunters to be turned into the Empire for the substantial price on her head.

Saw Gerrera

Along with his sister, Steela, he fought alongside Darth Vader — back when the Sith lord was just an impetuous young Jedi named Anakin Skywalker. In the episode A War on Two Fronts, which aired in October 2012, Saw and Steela were part of an insurgent group being unofficially trained by Anakin, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the padawan Ahsoka Tano.

As always, the excellent folks at MakingStarWars got good set intel… the production crew nicknamed him “Castro” probably in reference to Che Gueverra, from where “Saw Gerrera” may have come from

Why is his appearance different? Our guess is the trailer was a flashback, when a young rebellious Jyn may have bumped into him (If you keep fighting, what will you become?) Later on we see the older, slightly unhinged Gerrera… who’s fighting his own war independent of the Rebellion.

Director Orson Krennic

On the opposing side, this villain is an ambitious Imperial apparatchik who intends to use his squad of Deathtroopers to pulverize the Rebel uprising and ascend into the Emperor’s graces – while hopefully avoiding the wrath of his enforcer, Darth Vader.

The Rogue One Visual Story guide leak was right… the only thing it lacked was Krennic’s first name. At this point however, it’s still not clear exactly what he is Director of. The title is commonly used for government institutions (like the FBI and CIA), and not the military.

It also quashes any EU wishes of him being an analogue of Grand Admiral Thrawn, though he may have the same tactical brilliance.

Galen Erso

Jyn’s estranged father is like the galactic version of nuclear pioneer J. Robert Oppenheimer, with doomsday knowledge that is sought by both the Empire and the Rebellion. “He’s one of those people that has insight into you know specific aspects of just how the universe works,” says Hart. Where has Galen been, if Jyn has been on her own for years? “The circumstances of how the family got to the state that it’s in is something that we probably don’t want to share right now,”

Doomsday knowledge is clearly a reference to the Death Star. This reinforces the rumors that Mad Mikkelsen is a weapons designer who refined the original Geonosian blueprint and made the Death Star possible.

It’s also funny how Mikkelsen outed his character when he signed that “Galen” autograph way back in September 2015.

Out of all the major characters revealed in EW, only Galen didn’t have a photo. It’s possible his appearance may be disheveled and deranged after many years in Imperial custody. He could also be the hooded figure in the trailer.

Chirrut and Baze

Not to be cynical assholes, but our two Asian characters don’t just represent galactic diversity — they’re a shrewd move on Disney’s part to make the Star Wars brand a cultural phenomenon in China, where it’s much less known compared to the rest of the world.

Last month, we reported that actor Donnie Yen ((甄子丹) will go back to London for Rogue One, even before news of the reshoots broke.

Yesterday, we learned that Chirrut is back in the UK to shoot additional scenes.

Bothan spy “Peter Chang” says Donnie left during the past week, and is now be inside the guarded walls of Pinewood Studios in London.

“The guy is very low-key. Despite being one of Asia’s highest earning celebrities, he doesn’t travel with PAs. He and Cissy (Donnie’s wife Cecilia Wang 汪詩詩) often travel by themselves and carry their own luggage. So his departure from HK wasn’t picked up by the media.”

Taking on the role of Chirrut

In the official cast photo and trailer, Disney took great pains to emphasize Chirrut as a staff-wielding warrior. That’s because the role was specifically tailored for him.

“Not many people know that Donnie is a wushu world champion. Before he branched out into the MMA, wushu was his life. His mother founded a wushu school in Boston and he was sent off to Beijing Sports University for further training. So handling a wushu long stick is second-nature to Donnie,” says Chang. “In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he choreographed the fight with the stormtroopers himself.”

However, even the 52-year old needs a breather every now and then. “From what I heard, Donnie had to take a break after one particular fight scene for Rogue One last October. The cause wasn’t specified, but it’s likely because of his recurring spinal injury.” Yen suffered serious neck and spine injuries while filming a local action movie three years ago, a mishap that’s plagued him since.

May madness

According to this Far East Bothan, Chirrut was really busy over the past month. “Donnie had a full schedule in May. Most of it was booked for XXX: The Return of Xander Cage, where he plays the main villain after Jet Li backed out.”

“The XXX shoot wrapped up in the third week of May, and Donnie flew home to Hong Kong. The Rogue One reshoots weren’t public knowledge yet, but he was the first to clue in fans when he was interviewed by Oriental Daily News (an HK publication) during a local event. He said he was due back in London for additional Rogue One photography.”

“He then flew to Japan for a quick shoot for a German brand. That was when news about the Rogue One reshoot went public.”

Pre-Rogue One R&R

In preparation for his Rogue One duties,Donnie took some time off to unwind. This suggests he may be in the UK for a while. “From Japan it was back to HK for three days. Then it was off to Singapore for a much deserved vacation with his staff.” Donnie has his own production company, Bullet Films.

“He and his wife treated over three dozen staff members to a holiday. They stayed at Resorts World Sentosa where the couple are brand ambassadors, and visited Universal Studios. Donnie doesn’t normally splurge, so this could mean he’ll be gone for a while and made the most of his break in Asia.”

Star Wars Celebration Europe, happening on July 15-17, coincides with the reshoots. So it’s possible Donnie and the Rogue One crew will attend the event and have their stay extended.

“For Donnie, it was a well-deserved break before a jampacked June and July for Rogue One. But he made sure his employees got to have enjoy the same break he did, and that’s the wonderful thing about him.”

The Star Wars secrecy

Chang says that out of Donnie’s films, Rogue One has got to be the most secretive. “From Ip-Man to Monkey King, Donnie loved to post teasers about his projects. In fact, for XXX he posted updates almost daily. But there was almost none of that for Rogue One.”

Actually, Donnie did post an update: he was the first to leak the Death Trooper and Shore Trooper helmets on his Instagram account last August:

The image was quickly taken down, but not before the entire Internet saved it. Within hours, everyone from Entertainment Weekly to The UK Mirror was talking about the new helmets. And Chang says that might be the reason for Donnie’s subsequent silence.

“From what I heard, the PR agency behind Lunak Heavy (the production name for Rogue One) hands out penalty cards to members who violate the non-disclosure policy. And yes, not even cast members are exempt. So that’s probably why he’s been mum on all things Rogue One ever since.”

However, even Chirrut has a weakness. “The Yen kids love Star Wars. But it’s the middle one, James, who’s an absolute fan. The little guy has everything from costumes to lightsabers, and he celebrated his birthday with a Star Wars-themed party. I don’t see how Donnie could NOT tell him about Rogue One and expect some peace and quiet at home. So if you want the real scoop, ask James!”

Rogue One and the Chinese market

Despite Donnie’s (as well as his wife’s Cissy’s) spoiler gaffes, Chang believes his role Chirrut is critical to the film’s success — perhaps even more so than the other characters.

“China is the world’s 2nd biggest box office market, second only to the US. What better way to penetrate that market than through the star of Ip Man?”

The Ip Man film franchise is one of the highest-grossing films in Asia. In fact, for regions like Hong Kong and mainland China, the name has more recall than Star Wars. “Remember that PRC (China) was a closed society during the ’70s and ’80s when Star Wars became a global phenomenon. That’s why Hollywood is trying its best to penetrate the market, by roping in recognizable names like Donnie.”

In fact, China is so important to Disney that Rogue One features not just one, but two Asian celebrities. Chinese actor and director Jiang Wen plays Baze, a freelance assassin. While Donnie captures the pan-Asian market like Hong Kong and Malaysia where Ip Man set new records, Wen’s inclusion is directly aimed at the mainland and its 1.3 billion audience.

The Chinese market is still a mystery to the West. While the recently released Warcraft movie bombed in the US, it became a box office hit in China, outgrossing even The Force Awakenswithin five days.

This is the reason why Donnie Yen (and his compatriot Jiang Wen) are the Mouse’s only hope for galactic success in China.

Special thanks to “Peter Chang” for the exhaustive intel, as well as Bullet Films Productions member “Agent Wai” for confirming some of the details for this story!

While slacking off at work today, Stormtrooper Larry came across this gem; the Rogue One leak poorly rewritten by a copy bot. Either that, or a really lazy asshole replaced every word with synonyms and tried to pass it off as his own.

Look at the opening paragraph. This is probably what the original text looked like:

“Things have been mostly quiet on the Rogue One front recently for Lucasfilm. Since the first trailer was released in early April, we’ve heard scant info on new characters, the plot, or almost anything.”

And here’s how the bot rewrote it:

“Issues were strangely quiet on the Rogue One entrance in recent years for Lucasfilm. For the reason that the first trailer debuted in early April, we’ve heard little on the method of reliable phrase on the new characters, what’s to return in the tale, or nearly anything.”

From there, everything goes hilariously downhill. Here are the character descriptions:

Jyn Erso

A tender lady recruited through the Insurrection to lend a hand scouse borrow the plans to the first Dying Famous person.

Jyn may be reckless, aggressive and undisciplined … but she’s a tender lady, Mon Mothma, don’t forget that. And Dying Famous must be the Rebel codeword for the Death Star, whose plans she will steal borrow!

Cassian Andor (Diego Luna)

A Insurrection Alliance Captain

Where do we sign up for the Insurrection Alliance to Reinstate the Republic?

Baze (Jiang Wen)

A contract murderer

Hey now, Stormtrooper Larry’s uncle Barry was a Mandalorian assassin and part-time ethics teacher. But we never called him a “contract murderer”!

Okay-250 (Alan Tudyk)

An Imperial-elegance enforcer droid programmed to lend a hand the Rebels

So it’s not K-250 or K-2SO, it’s Okay-250. And apparently, he’s an Imperial-elegance droid… elegant like C-3PO! So that “Enforcer-class droid” was a smokescreen by Disney all along!

Bodhi (Riz Ahmed)

A Revolt soldier

Does this mean he’s with the Revolt Alliance then? A splinter group of the Insurrection?

Pao and Bistan (no showed actor information on both)

Diminutive extraterrestrial beings defined as “fierce warriors”

Wow, tiny extraterrestrials that are fierce warriors! Are they like thumb-sized ETs, but with guns?

And finally,

Chirrut (Donnie Yen)

A non secular warrior

Like this?

Tender ladies, Insurrectionists, shaolin monks and Okay-250 the elegance droid. A diverse group with one mission: to scouse (?) borrow the plans to the Dying Famous Person battlestation.

Today, Disney released the official poster for Star Wars Celebration Europe, which is set to take place in London on July 15. Star Wars Celebration events are official Lucasfilm-sanctioned events, and it’s also where Disney releases more info about the upcoming movie.

Below is the official poster for Celebration Europe:

And here is the larger, uncropped artwork posted on the official Star Wars Celebration website:

So let’s put on our Rey goggles and analyze!

1. Director Krennic

Despite Disney’s claims of the Rogue One leak being “mostly incorrect”, we’re betting Director Krennic is the name of Ben Mendelsohn’s character. And we get our clearest “official” look at him yet in this poster.

Going by the old Expanded Universe, Director Krennic appears to have the rank insignia of High Admiral, based on the 2012 guidebook The Essential Guide to Warfare:

High Admirals were just one rank lower than Grand Admiral, and were on the same level as Grand Moff (twelve squares). They were a step up over Moffs and Vice Admirals (ten squares).

So in Rogue One, it seems that Director Krennic and Grand Moff Tarkin are on par with one another, with none being subordinate to the other. They also sport the same belt buckle, which must be de riguer for military officials.

And either those are code cylinders, or both of them like to carry a bunch of pens.

2. The Scarab Trooper

Unlike the armored Death Trooper and regular stormtrooper, Scarabs dispense with the armor in the codpiece, thighs and upper arms. This makes them similar to the Scout Trooper.

It also makes them nimbler, more agile and less cumbersome than regular troopers. Some guesses:

Scarabs could be the Empire’s equivalent of the US Marines’ QRF (quick reaction force) – lightly armed, but faster and able to deploy more quickly than a normal complement.

They could also be the crew of the Empire’s mechanized forces. We’ve already seen the hovertank in the trailer with a Scarab on top. In the real world, crew members of tanks and APCs wear lighter helmets and less body armor than their infantry counterparts, so they can easily dismount in case of an emergency (like a burning vehicle).

For example, this US Army tank gunner wears a Combat Vehicle Crewman helmet different from the regular PASGT helmets. He also dispenses with the cumbersome kevlar panels worn by US army infantry.

3. Death Trooper

Nothing much to see here other what we’ve already seen in the trailer and Edelweiss leak. Some notes:

The body armor, not just the helmet, is definitely different from the regular stormtrooper. Previously, shadowtrooper variations in EU only colored the stormtrooper black without any difference. if you’re a 501st member, get ready for a whole new set of guidelines!

The green glow at the mic tips seems pretty stupid. While they look cool from a Hollywood perspective, it’s inconceivable why the Empire would light their special forces troopers like that if they’re supposed to be stealthy. Maybe it’s light leakage from their night vision system?

Or maybe they are convenient hands-free lights, for reading maps in the field. How thoughtful of the Empire!

It lacks the devastating chin blaster cannons, which are the AT-AT’s main armament

The AT-ACT’s head and viewport are less armored

The undercarriage seems to be different

It also has a striking tan panel on the side. Perhaps those are interchangeable modules and this walker carries cargo, with the tan panel being a pallet that can be easily swapped. Hence the “C” in AT-ACT.

5. Chirrut

Is it just us, or does his walking stick turn into some sort of gun / bowcaster thingy?

You know the galaxy’s really gone downhill when “religious” guys carry a bunch of weapons.

Stormtrooper Larry is happy to change that today with this massive data dump — the Death Star battle plans full intel on Rogue One!

The intel comes from Edelweiss, a digital catalog used by booksellers and publishers. Someone, (an intrepid Bothan spy), uploaded the scanned content from an upcoming coffeetable book called Rogue One: The Official Visual Story Guide.

Not only does it include the full names of Jyn Erso’s rogue crew, it gives us the name of Ben Mendelssohn’s cloak-clad villain, as well as info on the Death Troopers, two new starfighters, and the predecessor of the AT-ACT.

For what it’s worth, the scans are marked not final. So proceed at your own risk. And as always, SPOILERS AHEAD!

The rogue band of resistance fighters

Jyn Erso

Rebel Alliance Captain Cassian Andor

Rebel footsoldier Bodhi

Freelance assassin Baze

The “spiritual warrior” Chirrut

The aliens Pao and Bistan

K-2S0, an Enforcer droid designed by the Empire but now under Rebel service

2. Their Imperial foes

Ben Mendelssohn’s fancy-cloaked character is named Director Krennic

The black-clad troopers are confirmed to be Death Troopers, not Shadow Troopers

Notice how the text repeats itself, possibly as filler for the actual content to follow

3. Two new starfighters

The U-Wing is a four-engined Rebel Alliance ship equipped with two laser cannons and two forward-facing S-foils that give it its name

The TIE Striker sports high-speed wings that enable it to reach speeds of 1,500kph (the normal TIE fighter has a maximum atmospheric speed of 1,200kph according to Wookieepedia).

4. The AT-AT’s predecessor

We noticed how the AT-ATs in the trailer differed from their ESB cousins. Pablo Hidalgo confirmed that they are “not technically AT-ATs”. That’s because they are AT-ACTs! Could they be All-Terrain Armored Combat Transports?

While we don’t have photos, the text also confirms the existence of AT-DPs (All Terrain Defence Pods), which are two-legged, two-man platforms used for patrol and scouting missions.

5. The new droid

Look sir, droid! K-2S0 is a former Security Droid. He has the same “donut and two bars” back design as regular stormtroopers, but seems to have been reprogrammed by the Rebels. He will likely play a key role in infiltrating the Imperial base and letting our heroes in.

6. More glorious spreads

Just for the heck of it, here are some more gorgeous photos that don’t tell us much. Although we do wonder what the T-70 X-wing from The Force Awakens is doing here.

That new Hasbro playset Imperial hovertank from the trailer

The big mamajama itself, the Death Star

And finally, a group photo of the whole shebang.

The source itself, Rogue One: The Official Visual Story Guide, will be released on Jan. 24, 2017. This is why the leak is full of filler text and “Not Final” disclaimers. The final book will be 164 pages long and cost around $25.

Enjoy your Rogue One leak bonanza! Disney has promised we’ll hear more during Star Wars Celebration Europe in July, but for now it seems our Bothan spies have pre-empted the Disney Empire!