Thursday, February 3, 2011

struggling with the darkness...

It is good to walk first thing in the morning, especially when the day is going to be a full one....and especially good when you wake up in a grumbly mood. Had the alarm set for 5:30 with the plan to be on the road at 6am. Well, it's still winter...and yes, still dark at 6am. So I hit snooze...and thought, okay, walking by 6:30 will still give me a decent walk. You guessed it, still dark. (more grumbling.) The additional grumbling was probably due to knowing how full my day would be and how hard I try to squeeze as walk into the afternoon, but often things just pop up....a meeting, a hospital visit, a phone call.

At 6:45 it was light, so then I had a new set of grumbles...I should have gotten up at 6:30 and gotten ready so when was light enough I could be on my way. Anyway, by 7:04 I was all bundled and on my way. At first I was going to shorten my loop for fear of getting into the office late, but I decided to do the whole loop. Which probably makes a better day for anyone I interact with, since I grumbled through most of my walk just in a funk...which would have been worse if I had cut it short.

20 minutes I stopped... and breathed...and prayed...the funk lessened but was still there...I have no idea why.

It took me a while to shake the funk...but this view helped:

It gave me a fresh start. A new perspective. It took me outside of myself. There are bigger goings on here. This world isn't just about me. God created me to be me...in my funk and in my joy...to be part of this beautiful creation. Thanks God, for getting me up out of bed...as grumbly as I was...to see the world as only you can make it....and to share that beautiful moment with me.