Tuesday, February 19, 2019

February 19th, 2019 Mom

February 19th, 2019 Mom

Yesterday was 7-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, I personally prepared all my meals, I did the elliptical workout, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The call came in from the nursing home about 11am yesterday morning. Mom was having a serious bleeding incident and they weren't sure what was going on. They had called the ambulance and was notifying me that she'd be on her way to the emergency room within minutes.

I quickly checked out from work and made my way to the hospital to meet her there. The uncertainty of the situation kept my brain in a hyper-horrible worrisome thoughts mode. The doctors and staff acted quickly, got her stabilized, and started the process of finding out what exactly is going on. There's some kind of internal bleeding happening in her low abdomen. The cat scan revealed an "area of concern" for the two doctors evaluating the results. Mom is in the hospital and this morning the tests, including a scope, will continue to search for exactly what's going on. Your prayers and positive energy would be greatly appreciated.

My main focus yesterday and now is on mom. At the same time, for someone like me, I must be very careful with my daily practice. It's emotional and uncertain situations like this that can quickly send me spiraling toward the food in a futile effort to change how I feel.

I made some reach out support calls and texts, said some prayers, kept family and friends informed about what was going on, and I made a commitment to stay within the boundaries of my practice.

By 1pm I was hungry and searching. I had eaten 42g of almonds earlier but now I was missing lunch. We were in a waiting mode in the ER, so I made my way to the cafeteria and really couldn't find anything I wanted to make work. I decided to try a vending machine (danger-danger!!) for some salsa flavored tortilla chips--something of a hold-over until later, but after spending the dollar, the ingredients list contained refined sugar--and that immediately disqualifies it as an option for me. I gave it to the nurses' station. At this point, I decided to simply wait until I could get home and prepare something. I drank water and was fine.

I scrapped my original swimming plan for yesterday evening but still got in an elliptical workout. After visiting with mom and the nursing staff, I ran out to the nursing home for a few things she needed, like her cpap machine, then made my way to the RecPlex for some exercise while mom visited with Amber back in her room. It worked out well.

I'm headed to work for a little while this morning before I go back to the hospital with mom. Again, your prayers and whatever positive energy you can muster this way would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

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"What's this all about? It's about progress, not perfection. It's about how you feel, not a number. It's about you and for you, not about or for anyone else. It's about living, not dying. It's about dreaming, not dreading. It's about freedom, not imprisonment. It's about opening your mind to the possibilities, not closing it to the changes. It's about acceptance, not rejection. It's about nourishing, not depriving. It's about a broadly consistent importance level, not short bursts of narrow focus. It's about wanting, not forcing. It's about doing your best, not trying to do another's best. It's about today, not tomorrow, or next week or the first of the month or January 1st. It's about committing to consistency with all your heart and holding on tight, not a halfhearted commitment easily released with the slightest breeze. It's about you deserving better, because you do. It's about you being important, because you are important." --Sean Anderson

The start. 505 pounds.

Before--Over 500 pounds

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Before: Over 500lbs "After" photo: Around 220-230. Current weight: Between 206-210

About Sean Anderson

This blog started as a daily account of what became a 275 pound weight loss. The archives contain over 1,700 individual blog posts. Sean hit his goal weight of 230 in November 2010 and maintained for 1.5 years. Then spent the following 1.5 years regaining 164 pounds. The daily postings from April 2014 to present, chronicle Sean's successful turnaround from relapse/regain. Currently weighing around 204 and maintaining well, Sean continues to write daily about the practices and disciplines of his continued recovery.