According to Maxim Radio’s The Manertainment Report, Ashton Kutcher‘s cell phone, which just happens to contain over 30 pictures of Demi Moore nude, is being held for ransom by a French taxi driver. Apparently, Ashton forgot his phone in the cab while on vacation in April, and now the driver wants $1 Million, or he will sell the pictures, of both Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore naked, to the paparazzi. And if that wasn’t bad enough (or good enough, depending on your point of view), the phone also contains a whole bunch of celebrity phone numbers.

Now, you might think that pictures of Demi Moore naked aren’t such a big deal, seeing as how she’s 44 years old, but I defy you to find a hotter 44-year-old woman than Demi Moore. Of course, if those pictures did make it out, we would have to see Ashton Kutcher naked too, but for that MILFy goodness, it would totally be worth it.