“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.”

==

Jean-Luc Picard

—————-

Well.

How often do we get the question “what went wrong?’ and instead of discussing all our shortcomings & failings, or come up with all the excuses <reasonable & unreasonable>, we shrugged our shoulders and said “Life.”

Uhm.

Not often. We get the question often but rarely answer “life.”

Why?

It is socially unacceptable these days to suggest you can work hard, and even work smartly, and you can still lose.

It is socially unacceptable these days to suggest you made no mistakes and you can still lose.

And, let me be clear, I am writing this as a guy who always looks at things that don’t work out, or I have ‘lost’ and point the finger at myself for what I missed or what I could have done or what I wish I had noticed/seen/ paid attention to.

But <let me be clear part 2> … sometimes you can do everything right, make no mistakes, and lose.

Is it fair?

Shit.

I don’t know.

I just know it is Life.

And it is kind of silly to not recognize this.

Now. I am not suggesting this becomes your go-to excuse or answer … I am simply suggesting that sometimes it is good to recognize that simply working hard <and smartly> or making no mistakes guarantees a win … and if you don’t win than ‘you didn’t work hard enough”, “you didn’t work smart enough” or “you must have made a mistake.”

I say this because we have created a culture, business and Life, in which if you don’t win <or lets say ‘improve your current status’> you have done something wrong. And that is crazy <to think that in every case>.

Personally, I tend to like non winners who show up day in and day out.

I like the ones with no quit <even when they don’t win>.

The ones who tend to be last to give up.

The ones who tend to be the last to leave.

The ones who tend to be the last to keep trying.

And, maybe most importantly, the ones who tend to be the last to hold on to integrity, sense of self, principled behavior and values.

I can teach & coach people to stop or what to hold on to and what to let go of. It is more difficult to teach someone to ‘go.’

All I know for sure is that the world is absolutely full of people who quit. They will come up with a variety of quite reasonable reasons <one is ‘change direction’ which is often a fancy schmancy term for ‘give up’>, but suffice it to say … they quit.

Because they don’t want to be the last – they want to be first.

Look. Give me a team who doesn’t care if they win, but will never quit and I can guarantee you they will kick more ass in Life & in business than 99% of everyone else.

Regardless. Here is the deal <some Life truths>.

Not everyone can finish first.

Not everyone who finishes first did it the best, with no mistakes or worked the hardest.

Not everyone who didn’t finish first made some mistake or didn’t work hard.

That is Life.

And that is Life everywhere.

Anyway. I think this may be one of the hardest lessons to learn … and to teach.

In general we suck at teaching this lesson and struggle to even admit it is a Life truth.

“There are many kinds of crime. I’ve always thought the most unforgivable is to have a gift and turn your back on it.”

=

Ruth Reichl

——-

I believe everyone has a gift. It may be big, may be small, may be somewhere in between, but everyone has some gift. That said. Here is what I think about having some talent and using it (or not using it).

We are truly a forgiving society.

Yes.

Quick to blame and chastise.

But. Just as quick to forgive <after bludgeoning you with some self-righteous indignation>. But society does not even have an opportunity to forgive you <or bludgeon you> with this particular crime because turning your back on a gift is actually an unseen crime <most of the time>.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

This means you can commit this crime and never be punished. Never be chastised. Oh. And never have the opportunity to be forgiven.

What I mean is that even if society does notice it may simply cast a glance at you wasting your gift and forgive you despite the fact you are actually cheating the world of your gift. This is the crime of missed opportunity (the world’s opportunity to gain from your gift). Let’s call this “ignorance is bliss.”

On the other hand. Yourself? The unforgivable crime is really to oneself.

I could list all the reasons why someone ignores their gift, some may seem silly and some may seem realer than anything in Life, but ignoring is ignoring. Period.

Let me be clear.

Having a gift does NOT mean that Life is any easier. In fact it may make it tougher on occasion and you certainly would have to learn to say ‘fuck you’ to critics & doubters &, well, a shitload of people who do not have a discernible gift.

Hell.

You even have to say ‘fuck you’ to even people who recognize you have a gift. I will say that having a gift can be construed as a burden because it comes with some pressure. Oddly I wrote about this burden & pressure aspect awhile back citing Andy Roddick of all people.

But.

The list of ‘why we ignore‘ doesn’t matter.

Good reasons or bad reasons it is a crime to turn your back on your gift.

I am so unequivocal on this because while I do believe all of us have something to offer and all of us can contribute in some form or fashion in the world, not everyone has the same gift.

Sorry to tell people that.

Some of us schmucks just muddle thru Life doing the best we can with what we have. We have no real gift that impacts beyond a very small impact or have some spectacular talent other than maybe being able to survive the grind successfully with character & a good moral compass <which ain’t bad by the way>.

But if you are one of the happy few who do have a gift that CAN make a larger impact you can’t simply say “uhm, I would like to return this gift” … shit … you cannot even regift it.

Once you have a gift it is a non transferable non returnable gift exclusive to you.

Do not use? It never gets used. Once again. This may sound sad, even disappointing, it is neither, it is an unforgivable crime.

Ok. But why do most people ignore their gift? I imagine is really is not fear, it is simply about waiting until it is too late.

It’s kind of crazy, isn’t it?

We have a habit of believing a future moment will end up being more important than the present. We simply keep holding off for some better time or moment we are sure <see: imagine>will be better to display the gift we have.

—

“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”

Eckhart Tolle

—

Anyway. Whether it is natural to wait for a better moment, or some ‘more important time to step up in the future‘, suffice it to say that not using a gift you have in the here & now — this special talent given to you and only you — is not a waste. You are simply committing a crime in the here & now.

And that crime is truly unforgivable if you know you have this gift and simply ignore it.

Shit.

Just think about what I have written a little.

If you truly have a gift, a gift you are fairly sure can contribute to a greater good in some way, ignore all the reasons to not use your gift.

Ignore all the reasons to not foster your gift.

And be the best you can be. Why? Because while it is a crime to deprive the world of the potential your gift may offer it the biggest crime is to yourself – you will not maximize who & what you could be. Now THAT is a crime.

“Ninety percent of paid work is time-wasting crap. The world gets by on the other ten.”

―

John Derbyshire

We Are Doomed: Reclaiming Conservative Pessimism

================

How many times have we sat back and said “I can do that job”?

Now. To be clear. I am going to talk about this from a business-to-business perspective and not the corner of the bar-to-‘some job’ perspective because from the corner of the bar, after a couple of beers, any of us can do any job better than the person who is currently doing it.

This is an “I have been in the workplace, I feel like I have had some success and … well … shit … I can do that job”perspective.

OK … I am chuckling a little, c’mon, let’s face it, I don’t care who you are and where you have worked, you have eyed what another person is doing and thought you could do it. At some point, if you have had some success, all jobs start having some commodity-like characteristics which tease you into believing shifting from one to another just isn’t that difficult.

Ok. To be fair. I have never lacked in business confidence. I do not believe there is a business problem that cannot be solved and I also believe <with some realistic pragmatic goggles on> that there is not a problem I cannot solve if I hunker down and get all the information I need. This can make me aggravating to work with on occasion because, well, I make no apologies for “how I may repair things”.

But that shouldn’t be confused with believing I can do any job.

Ok.

Yeah.

I admit.

I am certainly guilty at points in my career where I have certainly thought “I could do that job” over a wide array of responsibilities and unrelated industries.

Note. I rarely thought I could do it better … just that I could do it.

……….. my MBA at Wake Forest experience ………..

I would say that my MBA experience, a great experience with great professors at Wake Forest, encouraged me to think this way. It was a case study program which inherently encouraged thinking skills over black & white discipline skills. I tend to believe a good MBA program insures you know enough about a specific discipline to be dangerous if you overestimate your own knowledge, but effective enough to be able to understand the discipline to apply it in a general management scope.

Now.

In general, I think this attitude, on the positive side, permits you to make the leaps you have to make to jump into new jobs, new responsibilities and new positions.

In general, I think this attitude, on the negative side, can make you overlook some skills other people have as well as … at its worst … can put you in positions in which you will fail in a spectacular fashion.

I imagine as someone gets promoted, as I did, every step up showed me that there was a shitload I didn’t know overall, as well as about the responsibilities of a specific job, but at the same time it also continuously reinforced that I could “do that job.”

Success in business is a double edged sword.

Conversely.

………. what you know versus what you do not know ………

As someone gets promoted they also can see that some people got their jobs not because they necessarily had the experience or skills for the job, but simply because they had the appearance they could do the job.

You watched as these people invested gobs of energy trying to “fake it until they actually make it” or, worse, they realized they were in over their heads and invested even more energy simply maintaining a facade of bullshit to hide their hollowness.

I would also note that given your experience on the last thing I just shared that also encourages someone to believe they could, well, “do that job.”

The higher I got and the broader my experiences, my sense of “I cannot really do that job” increased with regard toward the jobs I really shouldn’t do. It didn’t diminish my sense of ability to handle increased responsibility, it simply made me more reflective of other skill sets and the reality of certain jobs.

To be clear. There is a certain group of people who never reach this realization. They tend to be either sociopaths or oblivious narcissists, but they do exist.

Anyway. My real realization on this topic came when I reached a general management position <and did some consulting>.

It was there that I recognized jobs are like icebergs. 90% of a job you never see until you actually do the job. And to successfully do the part you don’t see needs a couple of things beyond the obvious ‘I need to be competent with regard to the specific skill itself’ aspect:

Attitude alignment

This attitude goes way beyond the simplistic “I can do the job.” This attitude is more with regard to what you are actually good at.

As I have stated before I am more a renovator than a builder. That is a mindset. My attitude is just put me in a room with all the puzzle pieces and I can rearrange them, maybe polish off a couple, maybe smooth out some edges that no longer fit well and put a different puzzle together that works better than the one that exists.

And then there are people who say ‘I envision a puzzle and build the pieces.”

Those are two different attitudes that, certainly, have some overlap but also, certainly, drive a different type of style and ability to succeed in one type of job versus another type of job. I believe many people are successful in their jobs, and new jobs, because they have the proper insight into themselves and position themselves well to take advantage of this insight.

I would also add that a leader who can see within a person’s ‘skill set’ to recognize this attitude will also be the type who can hire incredibly effectively. Not all leaders and hirers can. Some simply see the façade and surface abilities and believe they are easily transferable and hire them believing anyone can do the job if they have that appearance of a type of surface skill set.

The less-than-obvious skill set

… example of under the radar understanding (Juran Institute) …

Each skill, each specialty, has layers to its depth & breadth. Let’s say this is the “art” of the skill <I sometimes refer to it as “the shadow of your skill”>.

When you are a junior person you are demanded day in and day out to craft your pragmatic ‘non-artistic’ skills. You learn how to screw screws into holes efficiently and hammer nails into their proper places effectively.

As you gain seniority you are demanded to start incorporating the art aspects of your craft. I like to explain this as you have to learn to be more of an architect of your department, skill and specialty. By the way, not everyone can do his and not every department head is good at this and it tends to start filtering out those who move on to the next level … general management.

And if you move up even more into general management you are demanded to gain some skills in the “art” of combining all the skills into the overall progress of a company beyond the simplistic “are each department doing their fricking job.”

In general the biggest difference between thinking you can do a job and actually being able to do the job is your less than obvious skill set. For example … I cannot tell you how many times I have sat in a conference room with a CFO who has displayed a skill set that made me think “shit, this company is lucky to have them” not because they knew all the accounting mumbo jumbo, but because they knew how to wield account skills in ways that the company benefited beyond accounting.

Pick your C-level title and I would say the same thing.

At the corner of the bar you have no clue whether you have this ‘less than obvious skill set’ and if you actually have the experience you may only have a sense of whether this skill set exists. This is an intangible, however, 90% of the time this intangible arises from some relevant experience <maybe not within that specific discipline but a discipline nonetheless> … so your experience does matter.

So.

I decided to write about this today because, frankly, we have a president who believes anyone can do any job and keeps hiring people who may be smart <and may not be … because I, frankly, question whether the President is smart> for positions they have no or little qualifications for that position.

I decided to write about this today because, frankly, as a business guy I know you cannot do a job simply because you say “I can do that job” and that experience really does matter and that simply because you believe something … <sigh> … does not make it so.

I will say that I have learned this lesson the hard way and it permits me to be able to call a bullshitter a bullshitter and to be able to point out that some roles & responsibilities dictate at least some relevant experience in order to be effective & efficient. Just because you think you can “do that job” does not mean you can actually “do that job.” It takes some self-awareness to know that.

The lack of self-awareness has a ripple effect.

In a bar your lack of self-awareness can create a range of responses – some chuckles, out right laughter of disbelief and maybe even some aggravation if it inches into what some of the people actually do sitting at the table.

In a business your lack of self-awareness can create some real business repercussions. Not only may you be out of your depth but you may actually start making some poor hires who are also out of their depth and that kind of shit gathers negative momentum <down the slippery slope of less-than-competent results>.

In business you get fired for that shit.

In a presidency your lack of self-awareness can create some real country repercussions – and we are seeing some of that lack of effectiveness now.

“I am confident that, in the end, common sense and justice will prevail.

I’m an optimist, brought up on the belief that if you wait to the end of the story, you get to see the good people live happily ever after. “

—

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam

====================

Well. I, frankly, cannot see how anyone could go through life without any optimism. I don’t see how anyone could live anything other than a fairly dismal life if all you did was embrace cynicism & skepticism. Fortunately, I do not believe many people are that completely dismal. I tend to believe most people believe common sense and justice may not always prevail, but certainly has better than even odds of prevailing in Life.

I actually think the bigger issue is that we sometimes feel suffocated by negativity and perceived ‘badness’ all around us. It can seem crushing on occasion. So crushing that it sometimes seems like it is more powerful than justice … and certainly more powerful than common sense.

Well. Certainly hope requires thinking. But thinking far too often remains just that … thinking … and no doing.

Lunch bucket hope is about putting in the work.

Lunch bucket hope is about full dreaming and not hollow promises.

Lunch bucket hope is about the harsh truths and not ignoring truths.

Lunch bucket hope is about recognizing ‘what is’ can change but ‘what will be’ will not happen magically.

This lunch bucket attitude combined with optimism, at its core, brings a belief that nothing may work. but that everything might work.

It is about understanding that there is no one silver bullet to solve something or to dramatically turn things around, but understanding that if you try 100 different things and each one makes even a little impact that there will be progress <and you get just a bit closer to what you hope>.

It is about recognizing that Life is rarely simple cause and effect and more likely a series of complex intertwined events <not chaos>.

It is about seeing that Life is always a work in progress where many times progress is difficult to distinguish from stagnancy.

It is about seeing that change, more often than not, is neither spectacular nor disruptive, but rather subtle nudges easily overlooked.

And … it is about only being confident that common sense and justice will prevail if you bring a lunch bucet attitude along with your optimism & hope.

This permits my type of optimism to not be some kind-hearted pushover, but rather one capable of yelling, sharing hard feedback and resilient to a world which, very often, brings an even harsher cynicism.

My type of optimism defends the arc of history which embraces good against the attacks of bad … which relentlessly seek to slow the natural arc of progress.

And, yet, as I defend what I view a the good arc of history I bring a legitimate care for the world at large along with, what could be viewed as cold & harsh, a view in which I may simply see people as the actors on the stage of this greater world.

I do believe kindness & generosity differentiate performance; not successes & wins. This is not an easy task the pragmatic optimists take on. It demands that you have to do hard things and sometimes be hard in how you deal with Life … all the while keeping kindness in your heart.

I once used Jamie Varon’s words to say I am a professional aspirationalist. <That’s not a word, but I’ve made it into one, since there was nothing that could quite describe me because I didn’t want to say I’m a “professional dreamer” because that sounds like some hippie shit. I have aspirations, like, lots of them.>

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“I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.”

Alex Elle

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I believe being a professional aspirationalist helps me to be a little more confident that common sense & justice & ‘good’ will prevail in today’s world.

I believe this because professional aspirationalist is a compass and not a destination. It is a direction.

Aspirationalist is a moving target.

Being an aspirationalist means not only having dreams, but dreaming and, yet, I remain a pragmatic optimist. It means I am restlessly pursing what is good and better … relentlessly seeking, traveling, doing, thinking … professionally constantly in motion <mentally or physically>.

To be clear.

All of this is not for the faint of heart.

All of this is not easy.

All of this is often an eternal struggle against a shitload of negative forces in the world.

But. Isn’t all of that truly what being yourself is all about?

Isn’t Life, and living it, sort of about having some courage to suggest ‘I will not omit things just to make you comfortable’ and finding your own version of bravery?

======

“I am a world that cannot be explored in one day. I am not a place for cowards.”

Caitlyn Siehl

======

I imagine my point is that today’s world, in general, is not a place and time for cowards.

In addition, being a pragmatic optimist means you are not a place for cowards. I say that because pragmatic optimism, professional aspirationalist, all these types of thoughts are not simply about being a dreamer, all these thoughts have rich & royal hues of reality threading its way through its fabric.

And you are forced to not be a coward because this pragmatic optimism demands people to think about dreaming, but also demands doing.

Pragmatically, we cynical optimists, aspirationalists as it were, do seek approval and acceptance and we do seek to actually do shit (albeit ‘good shit’).

Now … I could argue, whether you like it or not, whether you think it is right or wrong, in some form or fashion we all care.

We all care <not just aspirationalists> about all of this shit <and shit in general>.

We all care what the people around us think about us. And by people I mean everyone from those closest to you <who would most likely accept you in any shape and form you ended up in> to society overall.

And we all care about good shit happening rather than bad shit.

And we all care about providing some value to the world.

Uhm.

But maybe that is where being a cynical optimist, a practical dream, a professional aspirationalist has an edge in today’s world.

We do not seek solely finding value from proving ourselves to others.

We don’t accept solely finding value in and of ourselves.

We seek finding value in uncovering pragmatic ways that our optimism can come to Life.

The value resides in the fact that the proof exists in our optimism being vindicated.

In the end.

It may very well be my timeand the time for people who think as I do. We cynical optimists. And I am okay with that.

================

“It may well be that we will have to repent in this generation. Not merely for the vitriolic words and the violent actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence and indifference of the good people who sit around and say, “Wait on time.”

As I close in on my 3000th post I wandered back to my 1,500th post on enlightened conflict <this one>.

At that point I had written an estimated 2,026,749 words. I am now almost to 4,500,000 words <Michener would be proud>. I thought I would repost because, well, my thoughts are exactly the same <albeit I may actually feel even stronger about the thoughts> and rather than re-write and update the # of posts & # of words I thought, what the hell, here is what I said.

—–

Yikes. Over 2 million words represent, and represented, my thoughts on, well, anything. I have always not wanted to do one thing and am happiest when I am everywhere at once. My site, my thoughts, my words … are a reflection of that basic thought.

—————

“Whenever anyone has ever asked me ‘what is the one thing you want to do if you could only do one thing’ I have always answered with about 6 things.

I honestly want to do and be everywhere. And it works for me.

Drives some people crazy.”

=

Bruce McTague

————–

“How is it that one day life is orderly and you are content, a little cynical perhaps but on the whole just so, and then without warning you find the solid floor is a trapdoor and you are now in another place whose geography is uncertain and whose customs are strange?

Travelers at least have a choice. Those who set sail know that things will not be the same as at home.

Explorers are prepared.

But for us, who travel to cities of the interior by chance, there is no preparation.

We who are fluent find life is a foreign language.

Somewhere between the swamp and the mountains.

Somewhere between fear and sex.

Somewhere between God and the Devil passion is and the way there is sudden and the way back worse.

I think I am now qualified to suggest after 4 years and 1500 posts that I have learned a shitload about not just me but Life by writing.

I think writing almost every day on whatever topic grabs you that day almost demands you grasp & grapple with many life lessons.

I would suggest in reflecting pragmatically, with some hindsight, on a variety of experiences <actual & observed> make you realize “oh shit … I wish I’d done something very different” is a common everyday experience. I think in recognizing that it has permitted me to offer up some ‘life truths’ reflecting the overall complexity of Life in a world where ‘experts’ expound upon simplicity.

My blog is not in the Life lesson business; it is in the ‘thinking about Life’ business. And it has certainly been a ‘thinking about my Life & experiences’ business.

At 1500 I know I was reminded that in April 2010 I wrote something called “everywhere at once.” I don’t want to do just one thing in Life. And I don’t want to do just one thing well. And I also believe that Life truths can be maddeningly contradictory as a reflection of some of the maddeningly contradictory complexities in Life.

What have I learned the most? Context.

What is right today, even ‘now’, may not be right tomorrow … shit … it may not be right an hour later.
Life lessons fit right into that thought — what you do in that moment may not be what you would have done in a different moment. And maybe that it what I have learned the most, it ain’t always about what you do <because more often than not you will not do exactly what you should do> it is more about what you think. And your attitude.

That said. Some attitudes for Life thoughts.

– We are all in the selling business.

Ok. Maybe not ‘selling’ per se … but it behooves each and every one of us to hone our communication and rationale skills if you want to share a point of view. Many people not in sales mistakenly believe they aren’t in sales.

In reality, if you work, live, or interact with others in any way you are always trying to communicate, if not convince, people to think about what you think <or how you think about something>.

That means you are in sales.

I am not suggesting everyone learn & practice sales techniques <that would be aggravating> but we should all at least recognize we are in the selling business <in Life & in business worlds>.

Sell or be sold … that may sound harsh but the world can be a harsh place if you don’t make a stand for what you think.

– We are all in the unlearning business.

Learning, enlightenment, call it what you want, we are always either unlearning or increasing knowledge.

==

“Our whole life is an Education — we are ‘ever-learning,’ every moment of time, everywhere, under all circumstances something is being added to the stock of our previous attainments.

Mind is always at work when once its operations commence.

All men are learners, whatever their occupation, in the palace, in the cottage, in the park, and in the field. These are the laws stamped upon Humanity.”

Edward Paxton Hood

==

The more you learn, the more you unlearn and the more smarter about what is, or was, and will be … you become.

As for Unlearning? Get used to that thought. Whether you decide to unlearn or not … it is gonna happen.

If you decide to not unlearn … well … oops … just stand there and watch your knowledge begin disappearing as new knowledge, new technology, new ways of doing things, new realities, or a thousand other new shit come along — all of which can unmake your knowledge basically making it useless, ineffective or incorrect.

What do I know? Make an active and concerted effort to continue learning and you will actively be ditching shit you thought you knew and replace it with new learning <that is called ‘unlearning’>.

Be aware. This learning & unlearning thing is fraught with peril. The internet makes both ongoing learning easier <through easy access to real experts, expert information and gobs of so much additional information your head may explode> … and more difficult because discerning useful, accurate and correct knowledge is harder than ever before <and many “experts” are not ‘real experts’ and have no clue what the fuck they are talking about>.

Remember. Unlearning is actually learning. Go figure. Suffice it to say your attitude with regard to Life improves significantly if you decide you are not in the learning business, but the unlearning business.

—————-

“As long as your ideas of what’s possible are limited by what’s actual, no other idea has a chance.”

Susan Neiman

——————–

Unlearning shit can make a difference in how you think … and, remember, your perspective can be a world of difference.

– We are all in the follower business <and yet that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be in the ‘think for yourself’ business>.

I will begin with the positive thought. Think often and think differently.

Now the harsh truth.

We cannot all be leaders or in the lead, but that doesn’t mean you should always defer leadership possibilities or decline to put yourself in a leadership spot in something at some point in time.

Pick your time and place if you want to lead. But the truth is the majority of the time the majority of us are … well … following. That sounds shitty, but it really isn’t. In fact. It comes with some perks.

——

“Penalty of leadership: Leaders have to act differently than the others.”

Unknown

————

Regardless. Act differently … act the same … it doesn’t matter as long as you think and think often.

Most of us are simply smart followers in Life.

– We are all in the ‘playing the Life game’ business.

Play or be played.

Sounds harsh, but, well, it is not always harsh. Uhm. But it can be if you are not careful.

Most of us don’t want to consider Life as a game and even if we do we balk at ‘playing this stupid game.’ But like it or not, to quote Game of Thrones … “we never stop playing.”

Life is difficult for a variety of reasons but maybe the part that makes it the most difficult is that you cannot relax. Even if you stop playing the game, the game still goes on. Quit balking … quit bitching … but don’t quit playing. You can affect the outcome of the game. Oh. You will affect the outcome of the game <whether you play or not>. Your actions, or inactions, affect the game.

That said.

If life is a game … you may as well play.

– We are all in the “light” business.

Suffice it to say … whatever movies try and depict and however many articles or books you read … darkness, or badness, is neither more focused nor stronger than light or goodness.

In fact I could argue based on my experiences that even a fragment of light or doing what is right & good has the power to overcome even the largest most solid sheen of dark & bad in the world.

That said. Somewhere at some time you will need to put down your own doubts and thoughts of despair and fears of ‘what you perceive’ and put forth a little light. In other words ‘do something good’ or ‘do what is right’ <even in the face of all that suggests it will not matter> because someone else will need it to get out of a hole or because they just need a glimmer of hope. I can guarantee it will happen at least once in your Life if not several times.

“Whoa … Bruce … once in an entire Lifetime and you are suggesting we are in the ‘light’ business ??!!??”

Yup. You can train & prepare your entire Life just for that one moment and you can be sure that one moment will create ripples and will echo in eternity.

Carry some light wherever you go. You will never know when you need it.

– We all have to decide whether we will carry the burden or just be burdened.

Being yourself is a burden. It is ‘your weight.’ And no matter what anyone tells you … even if you accept yourself unequivocally … it is never as light as a feather. There is a weight associated with the choice to be yourself.

==

“Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.”

John Eldridge

==

The weight of yourself is one you choose to carry <and how you carry it is another completely different thought> or one that slows you down as a burden. This is one situation in which weight is not a bad thing. Maybe because losing it is bad. Lose the weight and you lose yourself. You only feel lighter because you have given a significant part of yourself away.

People make that choice. I don’t understand why they make that choice but they do.

Oddly <maybe this is a paradox> while shedding the weight they actually are now burdened with that choice.

All I really know is that you choose to carry this burden or just be burdened by it. Don’t let anyone tell you that the choice of ‘who am I going to be’ is easy and don’t let anyone try and tell you that choice doesn’t entail some burden.

But this is good weight. This is good burden.

Carry it … or just be burdened. Your choice.

– We all choose whether we want to follow a star or catch stars

This may sound esoteric or too philosophical, but it is actually grounded in some good ole pragmatism.

There are destination & objective people and there are roamers & collector people. Me? I have come to appreciate multiple paths and destinations as well as differences and distinctness. To me the sky is full of stars and I am happy with any of them … and all of them … whether they are bright or dull. Some people’s DNA doesn’t work that way. They have to choose a star and aim for it. I admit I would be content gathering and catching as many as I can catch.

Now. Chasing, gathering and catching stars is not for the faint of heart.

But. I have found because there really is no preparation for Life you just have to have the right attitude whichever ‘star objective’ you select.

Explorers are prepared. But for us, who travel to cities of the interior by chance, there is no preparation. We who are fluent find life is a foreign language.

The right attitude means accepting or the understanding you will be an explorer … whether you want to be or not … and you will constantly be placed in … well … places <situations> in which the language is foreign.

Despite all that I continue to have a desire to be everywhere at once.

It can make like challenging and rewarding at the same time.

But I also believe that being everywhere at once gives you the opportunity to fight ignorance, despair and doubt dispensing a little bit of hope here & there. And I like that. And I also like it because this attitude gives me a home wherever I go … because there are stars everywhere.

———–

“We are all strangers in a strange land, longing for home, but not quite knowing what or where home is.

We glimpse it sometimes in our dreams, or as we turn a corner, and suddenly there is a strange, sweet familiarity that vanishes almost as soon as it comes.”

Madeleine L’Engle

————-

I am not really sure where home is except maybe somewhere in my words & in my head.

It is a strange land and everyone speaks in a foreign language.

“We who are fluent find life is a foreign language.”

That is Life in my mind.

No real destination type home; it is everywhere at once … where you are constantly trying to learn the language.

But.

That’s me. Just as many people, if not more, find strength in home and being able to seek out one special star and dream & focus & strive & work using that star as a focal point.
The path to success and happiness is not just one … but many. And each path is distinct and different and lined with struggles and beauty.

I have come to appreciate any and all paths. I have come to appreciate different destinations.

But, suffice it to say, you either decide to follow a star or catch stars.

That’s it.

That concludes 1,500 and now I begin thinking about the other 50 or so thoughts already in my head aching to be written down.

I love being everywhere at once and Enlightened Conflict permits me to do so in a thoughtful way.

And, yet, as I think about it <and, yes, I did think about this particular post a lot> while I am comfortable being everywhere at once; maybe it is because I have a lighthouse to guide me – that lighthouse remains, and will always remain, my grandfather.

Completely different temperamentally than I … different career wise than I … a completely different man than I … and, yet, he still remains character wise the destination I hope to reach one day. The greatest man I have ever known.

To conclude. I will continue writing as long as people continue reading. And I will continue to write as if I am everywhere at once.

“Creatives need constraints like a good architect needs the laws of physics (and in particular, gravity). It’s by working within the constraints that, ultimately, we creatives test our limits and push ourselves to grow.”

So. This is a business post and not about architecture or home building or even Home Depot. This is about renovating businesses. Fixing business problems as in taking stagnant businesses and getting them on the move again.

All that said, I imagine this piece is about me. I have always seen myself as a fixer or let’s call it ‘a renovator’.

I have always been at my best when stepping in to manage a business where maybe things have become stagnant (sales, ideas, whatever). Maybe stepping in when someone well thought of, who has been in a position for a long period of time, has left and making them not missed as much as what everyone thought they would. Stepping in usually at a place and time where shaking the etch a sketch was needed (although it may not be liked/appreciated by all at the moment).

I enjoy taking existing pieces and rearranging them. Maybe what people have liked (or what has worked for me) is that I don’t like to throw everything out (mostly because I tend to believe there are people a lot smarter than me and one or two of them had probably thought about this situation before I came along) and I don’t really like – or think about – putting my own thumbprints on something.

I just like to reshape things a little so that maybe people think it’s bigger than it really is, maybe a little better than it was and pretty easy to do (implement) because it’s just not that new. That’s renovation – almost indiscernible change to improve.

I had a business associate tell me once, after I told him all of this, that there should be no reason why I shouldn’t be good at building because the thought process underpinnings were exactly the same. I agreed but noted this was more about mindset. I would suck as an entrepreneur. I just don’t have the head for it. I guess I just can’t cross that mental block that would make it possible for me create something from scratch. I am just not a Builder.

Interestingly. Pareto (an Italian sociologist) suggested there are two types of people: the Speculator and the Rentier.

The Speculator is constantly preoccupied with the possibilities of new combinations.

Rentiers are more conservers of the routine — stockholders he calls them.

While I am not sure I agree life is as simple as he suggests I do agree different people think different ways. And it is in my DNA to be “constantly preoccupied with possibilities of new combinations.”Now. That can make me a pain in the ass to work with. One time a mentor, and a manager I loved working for, once said to me, “sometimes you are a pain in the ass, but I am glad you are my pain in the ass.”

If you don’t want to be “nudged” into new ideas and creative solutions – don’t ever call Bruce McTague. If, however, you want to look at things through a different telescope and find 3-dimensional ideas you’ve never considered, call Bruce now. Not tomorrow. He’ll make you uncomfortable, but I firmly believe that if the idea doesn’t make you uneasy, it’s not a big idea. Easy to work with, but always stretching your mind, Bruce is a true business Partner. You’ll grow working with Bruce.

I guess we renovators (if we don’t want to be order takers) have to be a little contrarian at times.

And I don’t mean to be just to be one, but to actually put that contrarianism to work.

I do love putting new combinations of things together.

I do love taking something existing and breathing new life into it.

I do love taking something that maybe standing still and getting it to not only move … but start running (if not jogging at least) again.

And maybe that isn’t really being a contrarian. Maybe that is just what being a renovator is all about.

“ … today’s soldiers receive awards for valor. But valor was taken for granted in the old armies, in the monk ranks.

It was virtue that was sought.

Maybe a soldier makes an act of sacrifice for his parents. Maybe he dedicates his life to the perfection of archery. Maybe he spent all of his off duty hours writing the nine million names of Buddha. Or maybe performed great feats for the cause of truth. In these cases he would be rewarded with a medallion from a general.”

–

discussion on Tibetan warrior monks versus todays warriors

======

This is actually about business. But. Before I begin about business.

I have huge respect for people who serve in the military.

I sometimes believe a lot of that respect is driven by how my military friends discuss courage and valor versus the non-military people. It is also possible I have a good understanding of what society values versus what a soldier values.

Regardless. I do not doubt that a soldier finds pride in a chest full of awards & medals. But I also tend to believe they are more proud of simply the uniform … unadorned. The uniform itself is often the most important award.

But that really isn’t the point of this quote I opened with.

While I tend to believe we give too much lip service to how much we appreciate those who choose to serve and too little heartfelt gratitude and respect for those who choose to serve, I wonder how society would view today’s military if they were rewarded with medallions based on virtuistic behaviorand not just awards for valor <thereby showing people that choosing to serve is deeper than simply picking up a gun and showing courage>.

Which leads me to the business world.

I wonder how society would view today’s leaders, business and government, if they were rewarded with medallions based on virtue and virtuistic behavior.

Yikes.

No bonuses for results <because that is expected> and awards only for things beyond ‘job responsibility performance.’ Imagine if these would be awards that were a measure of their character and not just of their behavior <or talents>.

Okay.

That was funny, wasn’t it?

Could you see THAT happening in today’s business world?

<no>

Shit. Even if we did do it I imagine, using my most cynical perspective, that most people would still find ‘something wrong’ with even those people who earned those medallions.

<sigh>

But here is what I truly liked about this thought. Virtue is not defined in some religious way nor is it defined by ‘what is honesty’ or ethics or anything like that, it is defined by enlightenment of self.

Defined by honing an additional craft.

Defined by broadening the mind by focusing the mind.

Defined by thoughtful purpose and not by numbers, deadlines and bonuses.

What a thought.

No milestones and fake deadlines.

No quarterly goals.

Yes to expecting everyone to do their job.

Yes to expecting success.

Yeah.

I know.

It doesn’t really work that way. Not everyone is a Tibetan warrior.

Now.

How about if we did this in management?

Maybe we could assume that as you work your way up you show your ‘valor’ in the doing and meeting the expectations. And once you have proven you can excel at the expectations & responsibilities of your job then your compensation rewards get shifted to values … not valor.

This may all sound crazy.

But think about it.

We have become business people who no longer punch a clock, but rather punch a goal/deadline/task. There is nothing deeper, from an individual aspect, in today’s business world than checking the boxes and getting a check.

Sure. From the top down the good organizations are trying to instill some culture and pride and sense of purpose. But that seems a little ass backwards or maybe trying to do something ‘counter to the system.’

What I mean by that is if everyone is being measured by doing and in task completion <even when exceptional is tagged to it> than the system is saying act one way and think one way … while the organization may be suggesting “hey, we should also think this way.”

To be clear.

I am an organizational purpose <vision> guy.

I am an organizational culture guy.

I am an organizational “dynamic beyond our own purpose” guy.

But my heart tells me I am doing so, and thinking so, in conflict with a general attitude in the busoiness world focused on something else <#’s, completions, results>.

I know I can’t run a business solely giving out medallions for virtuosity and ignoring ‘valor.’

But maybe my point is that we should be doing a better job of reshaping a business culture wherein virtuosity and valor at least have a peer relationship with #’s, completion & results.

Anyway.

I have to tell you as I end this thought that having a business in which the employees maybe performed great feats for the cause of truth sounds like it would be a fucking awesome business to lead.

“Anyway, I wanted to end this on a hopeful, positive note, but, seeing as how my sense of hope and positivity is still shrouded in a thick layer of feeling like hope and positivity are bullshit.

I’ll just say this: Nobody can guarantee that it’s going to be okay, but — and I don’t know if this will be comforting to anyone else — the possibility exists that there’s a piece of corn on a floor somewhere that will make you just as confused about why you are laughing as you have ever been about why you are depressed.

And even if everything still seems like hopeless bullshit, maybe it’s just pointless bullshit or weird bullshit or possibly not even bullshit.

I don’t know.

But when you’re concerned that the miserable, boring wasteland in front of you might stretch all the way into forever, not knowing feels strangely hope-like.”

—-

Allie Brosh

==================

“Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.”

―

Markus Zusak

======================

“But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there’s a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck.

Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don’t feel very different.”

Allie Brosh

==================

I do not suffer from depression. Therefore it is extremely difficult for me to put myself in the shoes of someone who does.

However.

In reading some of the words written by people about depression <like the ones above> aspects of it sounds an awful lot like people who do not suffer from depression, but do suffer from a lack of enjoyment with Life in general.

Suffering from a lack of enjoyment in Life? Wow. Isn’t enjoyment as natural as breathing?

Well. Maybe … but sometimes we forget to breathe.

Regardless. When you stop enjoying things in Life <which, by the way, suggests you used to enjoy things or something and are now easing into some wasteland of maybe not misery but … well … nothingness>, or ‘anything’ I imagine, then you start seeking enjoyment anywhere you can. In fact to find some enjoyment in this wasteland we become pretty creative in some fairly absurd ways.

We sift thru the sand of the wasteland and embrace some shiny grains and try to make them bigger than they are in the attempt to suggest ‘wow … there is enjoyment.’ It is our brave attempt to breathe some Life into our enjoyment.Unfortunately, if we viewed that little thing without those absurd rose colored glasses, it could be truly look like … well … nothing.

Now.

Lack of enjoyment in Life is nothing like lack of enjoyment in an experience. An experience has the luxury of finiteness. The clear beginning and end permits us to assess and enjoy with some reflection. On the other hand, Life can very easily take on the characteristics of infinite. Life can become an endless array of to-do’s, tasks, work assignments, responsibilities and whatever else pops up in the everyday life of what happens.

This gets compounded by the additional random unforeseen stuff that inevitably gets layered on top of what you expected and planned for.

To be clear. I am not talking about depression. And I am not talking about something called ‘anhedonia’ which is one of the main symptoms of major depressive disorder <it is the loss of interest in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities … people suffering from clinical depression lose interest in hobbies, friends, work–even food and sex>. I am also not talking about actual boredom or a even some sense of frustration, irritation or despair <often associated with depression> with Life.

I tend to believe I am just talking about numbness. Or maybe it’s a version of not being able to notice the forest for the trees. But what I do know is that you just don’t know if Life is simply an amalgamation of hopeless bullshit, maybe it’s just pointless bullshit or weird bullshit or possibly not even bullshit.

All you really know is that you aren’t really enjoying the wasteland of ongoing ‘same ole same ole.’ It isn’t really like you have no hope that it will get better or that you have no hope at all — it just seems empty of hope at the moment and is just not a hopeful existence.

Well. If you reread that last sentence, like I just did, it is difficult to find where enjoyment enters into that person’s life. And, yet, we all pretty much know that happiness, and enjoyment, exists in 99% of people’s lives. My proof? As I noted earlier … even if you aren’t enjoying Life you scrounge around in some minuscule moments & experiences and raise them up high as enjoyment.

But enjoyment really shouldn’t be that hard.

Life, while hard, gives us a shitload of opportunities for enjoyment.

Unfortunately, the brain is complicated when it comes to enjoyment.

Shit.

The brain is complicated in general. But when it comes to pleasure & enjoyment the brain incorporates two paths – the nucleus accumbens <deep inside the “primitive brain”> and the prefrontal cortex <the thin outer layer of the brain behind the forehead>. Studies suggest it is likely that nerve impulses, let’s call them the ‘feel good signals,’ travel in both directions to stimulate a sense of enjoyment, reward and motivation. Studies also show that the longer the brain sustains the signals the stronger the enjoyment.

I share that because I think some people just get so numb in their rush from one thing to the next and the grind of day to day life that they don’t even let the ‘feel good signals’ have a chance to kick in within the brain.

What a shame.

It’s a shame because this is not depression it is simply lack of awareness and a lack of effort, with some good reasons for the ‘lack’, to see what is really going on around you and in your Life.

Enjoyment is available to everyone if you just look hard enough. It is certainly within you. Within your heart and within your brain. You just have to be open to it as well as … open up to it.

And if you do? Everything in the world opens up to the possibility of enjoyment. Everything in the world is full, more full than you may think, to the possibility of enjoyment.

And the best?

It means you no longer desperately grasp needlessly for enjoyment.

I am certainly not suggesting that happiness or enjoyment is, or should be, our purpose in Life. I tend to believe the highest order of enjoyment comes when attached to a Life served usefully.

“Beyond a doubt truth bears the same relation to falsehood as light to darkness.”

–

Leonardo da Vinci

=================

59squared.

3,481.

3481squared.

12,117,361.

12,117,361squared.

1.5 billion.

That’s three degrees and I am at almost 1/5th of the entire world. Yeah. The numbers are really not that neat, but you get the point. With a single event, a single death, one person can set off a chain of events that will affect hundreds of thousands, millions and even billions of people.

Some people call this “6 degrees of separation” <although I showed it to you as only 3>. I didn’t make up the squared concept. In some form or fashion it reflects the truth of the internet of things and connectedness and it shows the likelihood that the majority of us have some connection to any event in which 5, 59 or 559 people are part of.

I say this because it makes a lot of things, well, personal. The main point here is that a person now has access and is aware of more people <true friends as well as web based friends> and can have more frequent communication due to the ‘digital revolution’.

Yet.

Social media is simply the fact that the traditional benefits of an acquaintance network <personal or professional> and friendships can be more expansively realized than before <it amplifies>. This means that truth resounds more quickly & clearly & bluntly than ever before. The other truth is that our own experiences, and Life, can then be at the mercy of crowds of friends & acquaintances — crowds providing unsolicited input & feedback & experiences all influencing hordes of additional people’s thoughts on a daily basis. This means whether you are present in one place, or not, you can be impacted in the present place you stand. You are a nomad in which the world remains your home.

Our world is now one large network consisting of two basic things – people and connections. And while many times we look at this as some forced or constructed network <Facebook, twitter, etc. provides hubs and constructs> the reality is that most people networks & connections are organically constructed. So while we like to draw out nice symmetrical shapes to define how connections work and networks are constructed the reality is that networks are more often not symmetrical.

The unique patterns in the connections determine the shapes. We reach out in asymmetrical ways to places, events and thoughts and bring them near in seconds. In addition the ties between the connections can be complicated – spanning from intense or passive.

In the business world we try to characterize networks and connections in a variety of ways. The trouble is that people are not that orderly and certainly not stagnant and they actively reshape their connections, interests and networks all the time.

But I am not here to discuss how the internet can, or cannot, affect personal relationships or a sense of individual isolation but rather this is a thought on how the internet can make things, and Life … well … smaller.

On most days the ‘quasi-truth’ that resounds in the echo chambers of what we talk about and ‘think we know’ is that the internet is isolating us … disconnects us from reality and social interaction.

So … is it possible that the internet increases connection and decreases connection at exactly the same time? Yup. The Internet connects and it isolates.

The usual assumption that most of us make about our computing and communication environment is that we are ‘always’ connected. Indeed, most of us are ‘nomads’ when it comes to computing and communications. We live in a disconnected world much of the time as we travel between our office, home, airport, hotel, car, coffee shop, bedroom, etc. We now recognize that access to computing and communications is necessary not only from one’s `home base’, but also while one is in transit and/or when one reaches one’s destination.

It is an anytime, anywhere access world. It is also, paradoxically, a ‘be anywhere at any time’ world.

That is the connected aspect which creates the whole disconnected aspect.

Well. Let’s just say we feel slightly disconnected in a connected way, of course, until something happens that tightens all the lines of connection.

It is within moments like that where the supposed 6 degrees of separation becomes less degrees and more links all of a sudden the 59squared aspect of connectedness occurs.

The world gets smaller … in fact … really fucking small.

We are brought together and something that happens to 5 people, maybe 59 people, or even 559 people, becomes an experience within our own grasp.

Which brings me back to truth and resounding.

The majority of our social networking constructs today are on the internet <or have a foundation on the internet>. Simplistically, we, the people, are connecting via the internet. What this means is that the internet muffles or amplifies our voices, events and truth <as well as lies unfortunately>.

What this means is that … well … an event, a moment, a death, an injury, resounds … resounds as in 59squared.

What THAT means is we have to face a truth whether we want to or not. Now. At that point we have a choice – see what we face or don’t see what we face. And if we refuse to face it we will remain disconnectedly connected in our little asymmetrical networks of friends & acquaintances.

That was a sad sentence to type.

At this point, my conclusion, I imagine it may be relevant to remind everyone of 59squared and the fact that I can do one thing, one right thing … or one wrong thing … and it will resound.

I am
a series of
small victories
and large defeats
and I am as
amazed
as any other
that
I have gotten
from there to
here

—

Charles Bukowski

==============

Ok. This is about how a zero sum game world creates the wrong view on victories & losses.

I recently wrote about how we are increasingly being encouraged to think this is a zero sum world. An “us versus them,” you win or are a loser, “if you aren’t getting something it is because someone else <most likely less deserving> is getting it” type world.

This is a dangerous slippery slope way of approaching Life.

Personally, I balk at viewing Life, the world, and pretty much anything we do in Life as a zero sum game. It just seems so “I” when we should at least acknowledge it is a “we” world, society & culture. It just seems so empty of anything but ‘the win’.

Look. I am not opposed to putting an emphasis on the fact winning is good and that winning is a viable objective <which takes some determination, persistence and focus to achieve>. In fact, I fully endorse this type of thinking. I certainly understand the whole “if you are not committed to winning that means you are already accepting a loss.” But I have a little secret for everyone that kind of throws a wrench into the whole zero sum world thought — not every day has to ‘count’ in terms of a tradition world view of a “victory.” The truth is that some days your sole purpose is to make it to the next day. I could even argue that actually counts. I could even argue that it is a victory <small, medium or large>.

What do I mean?

Everyday there are people who go into work, hunker down and not only understand how to translate ideas into action but actually figure out a way to make it happen.

=================

Progress. Just make progress.

It’s OK to have setbacks … It’s OK to draw a line in the sand and start over again – and again. Just make sure you’re moving the line forward … Take baby steps, but at least take steps that stop you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good.

Lysa TerKeurst

==================

Some would call that “progress” and not “victories” which means the people who believe in a zero sum world would view those people as “on the loser slippery slope.” It does drive me a little nuts that we want to always rush to label something a victory or a defeat or a winner or a loser and, I would point out, all a zero sum Life view does is exacerbate that discussion. To be clear, while you will find gobs of well written articles online stating that Life, and business, is not a zero sum game you will find several “supposed harsh truth tellers” who will tell you otherwise:

=====

Angel investor Jason Calacanis—a Silicon Valley veteran who has invested in more than 60 startups—has some pointed advice for young people who are just starting their careers: Success is a zero-sum game. He writes in a blog post:

——–

“Many folks will tell you that the world is not a zero sum game, with one person not having to lose at the expense of another winning. This is simply not true, as in most startups there is a very limited number of seats and they go to the people who work the hardest and who have the most skill. In your career you will find that life is a zero sum game: the winners get the prime positions and the person who comes in second place for that position is the first loser—not the second winner.”

———————

I can’t argue with some of the thoughts good ole Jason has to offer, but I don’t have to like it. And I don’t agree that Life, or a business, offers you a limited amount of seats. That is where , to me, the zero sum Life all falls apart.

That’s beauty of America at least <in many other countries also> is that if I am somewhere with a limited number of seats and I am willing to work hard, play fair and constantly improve my skills, well, there are seats elsewhere.

I could argue that there are more than enough seats for hard workers, play fairers and skilled workers in the business world.

<note: I am not suggesting it is an equal opportunity world just that there are more than enough seats available for success>

Which makes me think I need to remind everyone … a zero sum game is a game in which when one person gains, you lose, and when another person loses, you gain. That may be so … but if it is … it is more like the ‘butterfly affect’ than it is direct cause-affect within your finite environment. I will say it again <and will do so until the end of time> that I just do not believe that most of life is a zero sum game and that measuring your Life by victories and defeats is a fool’s errand. It is too easy to say “if this, then this” or that there is a finite amount of opportunities which we wrestle over.

I am not suggesting working hard doesn’t matter <because it does … you need to work fucking hard and long hours to move up a ladder if that is what you want to do>.

I am not suggesting honing skills and learning new skills doesn’t matter <because it does … you need to learn more … constantly … and get better … all the time>.

It really does seem like we make all of this hard on ourselves. Far too often we compare our situation with the situation of someone else and, using some pretzel logic, we can view them from afar and think that because something good happened to someone else that it is either no longer available to us, taken from us or … if viewed positively … has delayed what will be due us.

That is really nuts-type thinking. Crazy thinking. Good things can happen to us and others … at exactly the same time. I imagine we get caught in our pretzel logic because when we see someone else succeed it is kind of a gut-punch reminder that we have not yet succeeded. That’s nuts. Comparing the success <however you define it> of another person to your own is silly and, frankly, a losing gambit.

But here is the thing when someone tries to convince you that Life is a zero sum game. This belief that we are all competing with each other for scarce resources completely ignores the fact we are humans. We like being with other people, we like coexisting and … yikes … we like having friends and having social spheres to enjoy Life. So even though competition and scarcity exist and, sure, we would much prefer victories over defeats … we have an inherent human need, and desire, to exist in a social support system in which we share some mutual respect <of which is not earned by ‘winning’ but more by ‘how you play the game’>.

I imagine the point on this is ‘zero sum’ suggests a very one dimensional view of victory & defeat when the reality is a little more complex and multi-dimensional <sort of like ‘victory in defeat’ as a concept>. In other words. I can be part of a team … we train hard, compete hard and work seamlessly together and lose the race/game and, yet, we have improved … learned that ‘defeat’, while still a defeat, has been ‘halved’ in sharing with others … and we learn victory is partially progress & moving on to the next competition.

But let me end on competition & ‘the game.’

While we pound away on competition between businesses, competition for career promotions, competition for bonuses … and they are all real … life itself is less a competition or a race but rather a journey.

Well.

If you look at it that way … well … my victory may look nothing like your victory because I am on a different fucking journey. The same with defeats. My big defeat may look incredibly small to you. You may view me as lost and I may smile and say “I am exploring.” So instead of viewing everything as having some starting gate and a specific track & lane Life starts looking like one big fucking map and instead of you being a sprinter <or hurdler> you are actually more like an ‘orienteer.’ Maybe we should have degrees and classes in orienteering instead of how to navigate some rat race.

If you view Life as a journey than the only ‘zero sum’ part of it is either simple survival or reaching some destination or destinations <and not any specific way to get there>.

Look. I will not argue with anyone who wants to suggest business & career is more like a race because, yeah, that part of our Life can take on many characteristics of a race <depending on your vocation>. But almost everything else in our life is less a race and more a journey.

We choose where we start, where we go, what we do and where we think a good destination would be.

We choose when and where we stop and say “I am home.”

In the end.

And, of course, if you want to know why an obsession with winning can steer you off course I will always remind everyone of winning & Charlie Sheen.