Details of Kanye’s Meeting With Trump Emerge

Much of the world is surprised music artist Kanye West held an hour-long meeting with President-Elect Donald Trump yesterday at New York’s Trump Tower. According to
sources close to Trump, the meeting was as outrageous as one could
imagine between a reality show star and an egomaniacal rapper. The
meeting took place only after Trump blew off a meeting with a key Chinese
diplomat.

“The guy is in the country for two days and you tell him no to meet with a rapper? That doesn’t look good.” a close Trump confidant said.

Kanye started off the meeting by commending Trump’s campaign, before noting that he thought “democracy is a farce.”

“The guy says ‘f— democracy and the electoral college,’ then spends 15 minutes saying we need to replace democracy with a system where people vote for candidates from two platforms and have elected officials confirm the results,” a source says.

Before Trump’s advisors could tell Kanye he had suggested replacing democracy with democracy, Trump patted
him on the head and agreed.

“We knew we had him when he
walked in smiling. Kanye only smiles at the thought of Jay Z on his
beats and Beyonce on stage.“ the source says.

It’s said that Kanye asked Trump
for over $800 million in federal funding for ideas that include a
“surround optic” immersive theater experience and a giant theme park on the Hollywood Hill for his two children.
He also asked for Trump to clone versions of Jay Z, Beyonce and Blue
Ivy that would acknowledge Kim Kardashian’s existence.

He indeed asked Trump about
“multi-cultural” issues, namely using military technology to
translate his albums in “every language known to man.” He also
wanted the education director to ensure that “he and Cudi would be
in history books as the last real n—-s.”

Trump considered Kanye’s requests,
and told the Chicago rapper that his first interest as President was
changing the emergency broadcast system’s shrill beeping to something
“catchy” to get people’s attention in the event of an emergency.
He asked Kanye to compose it.

West said he would do it in
exchange for the option to interrupt the national airwaves to speak
on whatever topics he’d like to in 15-minute intervals. Trump rejected the
idea, saying he was already planning to do that, and “two is too
much.”

Kanye said he understood, and made
one last request:

“He says he knows the CIA has a
time machine and he wanted to enter one and go to the year 3040 when
he would be understood.”