Author
Topic: DECLUTTERING (Read 234589 times)

I'm moving next week, so I've slowly been going through all of our stuff and throwing things out or donating things. I have to do it on the sly though, because if my husband knew everything I was donating, he would be upset. He has some hoarding tendencies.

When we first met, about 10 years ago, he had a printer. He still has that printer, and it doesn't work. He refuses to throw it out, thinking someone will find it useful. So I said "okay, give it to that person who will find a 10+ year old printer useful". But, he has not given it away, probably because no one in their right mind would find a 10+ year old printer useful. Usually, when something like this comes up, I just wait a year and get rid of the item, since he's long forgotten about it. But, we've talked about this stupid printer so many times, he would definitely realize that it is missing. Siiigh...so we're going to move an obsolete printer to the new house, where it will most definitely collect ever more dust. I think he's just being stubborn about it now.

Or . . . oops, who left that soft drink there on top where it could spill?

Back on topic. I have never understood this argument: He refuses to throw it out, thinking someone will find it useful. Those who hang onto useless stuff often use this line, and it makes no sense. If someone will find it useful, I'd want to shout, then let it go out there so that "someone" can find it. They can't find it in your basement.

This is why I rarely will agree to help anyone clean up. Unless they are truly motivated and willing to take action (and not justify the keeping of every piece of paper or other thing) it is a hopeless and frustrating activity for both parties. One can help but one cannot motivate.

Went through my thread stash and got rid of all of my old thread. Emptied a drawer and made some room on my sewing desk. Now if I keep sewing, I may get back some more room on the selves where I store fabrics.

Or . . . oops, who left that soft drink there on top where it could spill?

Back on topic. I have never understood this argument: He refuses to throw it out, thinking someone will find it useful. Those who hang onto useless stuff often use this line, and it makes no sense. If someone will find it useful, I'd want to shout, then let it go out there so that "someone" can find it. They can't find it in your basement.

This is why I rarely will agree to help anyone clean up. Unless they are truly motivated and willing to take action (and not justify the keeping of every piece of paper or other thing) it is a hopeless and frustrating activity for both parties. One can help but one cannot motivate.

I COMPLETELY agree with you! He says this about a bunch of things, and I'm like "it's not useful rotting away in our storage unit, so can you give it to this elusive person who thinks your broken stuff is useful?" We have a baby swing in storage, which I've asked him about 5x to give away. He apparently has a friend who had a baby who needs a baby swing. Well, the baby is probably not a baby anymore, and the last time I was in the storage unit, I saw that he shoved it waaaaay in the back and then put stuff in front of it, so I can no longer drag it out on my own and just donate it already. I don't understand why he did that, but I am not moving that swing to the new house. The printer may yet have an "accident". It's quite possible that won't sway him, I mean, it's already broken. We'll see!

Back on topic. I have never understood this argument: He refuses to throw it out, thinking someone will find it useful. Those who hang onto useless stuff often use this line, and it makes no sense. If someone will find it useful, I'd want to shout, then let it go out there so that "someone" can find it. They can't find it in your basement.

This is why I rarely will agree to help anyone clean up. Unless they are truly motivated and willing to take action (and not justify the keeping of every piece of paper or other thing) it is a hopeless and frustrating activity for both parties. One can help but one cannot motivate.

Honestly, I don't think it's rational, and that's why rational arguments don't work. This is my experience with the hoarders in my family, anyway. My dad has a lot of old computer stuff around and I thought about mentioning the Best Buy recycling thing to him. I'd say there's a 75% chance it would change nothing. Because he's not really keeping them for someone else who needs them, or because he doesn't know how to get rid of them safely, or because someday he's going to fix them up--those are just words he says when my mom asks him to get rid of the stuff, to make her stop asking. Hoarding is, from what I've seen personally, a deep-seated irrational fear of getting rid of things, even absolute junk in bad condition--it almost seems to cause physical pain when you suggest or try to make a hoarder throw something away.

Now, not everyone who keeps stuff is a hoarder, of course. I think sometimes otherwise normal people get fixated on one THING, even if they're perfectly willing to throw away other stuff--I still think it becomes more about what the thing represents, than about the thing itself, though. Like, "If I throw this out, it means I'm admitting I will never actually learn to speak Chinese/water ski/quilt--it means I'm giving up on that dream." What can I say, growing up with many hoarders around me, I feel like cleaning/decluttering is so much more about psychology than physically moving stuff.

For those of you with electronic hoarders in your lives, check into whether or not there is an electronics recycler in the area who will pay cash for your electronics by weight. It might persuade some of them.

We have a couple in my city. One of them has the tagline 'We see value in your crap.' They had a great print add in the paper, picturing a robot squatting over a pile of broken electronics, like you'd see someone squatting over a steaming pile. It's hysterical.

Logged

After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.

You have inspired me. I have at least two dozen work suits I haven't worn in years. My 5 year old business has finally taken off and i work in my hallway in camis and shorts. Never going to work in an office again. They are just taking up space - tomorrow they will take up space at the Humane Society "no fleas" thrift store. Thank you.

Okay, I'm trying to clean up the sewing room. Hoping to get all my sewing stuff into that room and not all over the house when DH asked me to take of stuff in the shed. ARG!!! Now have two boxes more to try to take care of/fit into the sewing room! He thinks he helped me!

DH: "Well, what if you had gotten done and then I pointed it out! Wouldn't that have been worse?!"Me: "No, actually, it wouldn't have been worse! When I get that close, I'll feel like I can do it! Now I just feel defeated!" Cue tears of exhaustion from me and put upon sulking from DH. I am taking a small break and then I'll just keep trying to: read down the books, sew down the fabrics and neaten up everything else.

Point in my favor- I got a craft project done and mostly given away to friends. A lot of bowls, plates and glasses out of my house!

Attention, fellow declutterers: I may have found a sure fire way to make yourself do the job. Tell a friend that she can have the three drawer clutter magnet as soon as you empty it! Guess what I have to do before next Friday, when we are getting together! Incentive!!!

I laughed when I read this! Actually my DH has many more tendencies toward clutter than I do! But, I think he may have started to clean books up in the study! (I'm afraid to look too close, because if he only moved them around, I might say something, and that would not be good!)