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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

I have been away from my blogging for far too long.
Not that I think anyone aside from myself actually reads it but...

I have been dealing with STUFF for 3 nearly years now that has brought me to a place in my life where...

I feel like I have no direction.
Or purpose.
Or.... well, I don't know what.

In a man of a certain age this feeling of being at loose ends would be called a 'Midlife Crisis'.

In a woman of this same certain age it is called... what?

My children are grown.
Some not quite all the way, like SIX who is a college freshman, still need me.
Others, like BratChild, believe that they are grown enough to live their own lives, and those lives do not really have room for me any more.

I had a job that I loved.
Then I couldn't do it any more.

I ended up in a position that I did not seek out and I thought I was doing a good job of it but...
suddenly I guess I wasn't.

I worked hard to get back my strength and the ability to do the things my job required so that I could resume doing what I loved.

So, back to my "REAL" job...
and then...
that was gone... again.

I watch TV and get great ideas for crafts and home improvements.
I read book after book... love those freebies on Kobo and Kindle...
and think about the book I will write.

I surf the net looking for a job...
I did freelance SEO content writing for several years so I thought I would look there...
If I do not know what the abbreviations and slang words mean...
I would guess that means I am no longer in that loop, right?

I think of things I would like to do with my life.
I think of things that I am passionate about.
I think of what I have to offer to others living their lives in turmoil and uncertainty and...

I sit, rooted to one spot...
Day after day...
Wondering how to make my LIFE CRISIS go away...
How to turn it into something positive that others will benefit from...
That I will be proud of...
That will give me a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

I have ideas.
But no idea how to make them work.
I had dreams...
and now... not so much.

My LIFE CRISIS is because I have forgotten how to dream...
how to have dreams for myself.

Yes, a man of a certain age goes out and gets a younger woman, a sexy car, a new wardrobe...
It's expected.
They have earned it they would say.

A woman gets grey hair, wrinkles and worry lines...
Sleepless nights wondering if her children are safe and happy...
Jobs are not readily available...
No one seems to want to listen to what they have learned over the years...
They are Old.
They are Obsolete.
They are made to feel as if their lives do not matter.

Forget the Midlife and focus on the LIFE...
Living each day as if what you do matters...
Taking the bad and making something good from it...

Those are my goals.
Not sure how to make them happen...
YET.

I am a work in progress and this Life Crisis is but one more in the long stream of them through the years...
I'll figure it out... I always do.

But seriously...
Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to be a man right about now.

Those with families who await word from them while they are deployed...
Those who are working right along side the rest of us and never even tell us that they are Veterans...
Those who are homeless and only want someone to care enough to give them shelter...
Those who are injured and fighting harder to become the men and women they were before than they ever did on a battle field... whether those injuries are visible or not...

Those from WWI and II and Korea and Viet Nam and Concorde and Gettysburg and Mogadishu and Tikrit and all those places we simple Americans do not even know about....
This post is for them all...
The living and the dead.

But most of all remember that without all of these BRAVE and SELFLESS people from the beginning of America until NOW...
Without them there would be no America ...
Or at least not an America worth fighting for.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

A girl decided to put pen to paper ( well, actually words on a blog)
in an attempt to figure out exactly her purpose in life actually is...

And thus, Dawneing, the blog was born.

Somewhere along the way Color me Thin-
A blog about that girl's attempts to lose weight came into existence.

And then, along came Color me Crafting...
yet another blog. This one with crafting and homemaking ideas---
think Martha Stewart without the TV studio and people to do the actual farming and cooking and organizing for her...

As with all of her endeavors, she had high hopes of creating something...
that someone...
somewhere...

Just might find entertaining,
or perhaps, enlightening,
or maybe even worth visiting more than once.

But, as with most good intentions...
LIFE got in the way.

So, once again, she finds herself at a place in her life that is not quite what she had thought it would be.
Not going according to plan, as it were.
Not that there was ever really a plan at all.
Just a sort of take each day as it comes and hope for the best kind of thing.

And the best?
Well, it doesn't just happen now, does it?
The best is something one must work at,
like a marriage or a job, to get what they want.

Once upon a time....
There was a girl who wanted to figure out where she fit in the grand scheme of things...

Saturday, March 7, 2015

I was combing through the cupboards in an attempt to find something that the kids would eat that was easy, quick and somewhat nutritious...

because I do want TheBusyFamily to live long, healthy and productive lives and hope that some of what they are learning here in TheBusyFamilyHome will follow them when they finally leave,,,

They will all leave, eventually, right?

And what I found was...
frozen grilled chicken strips
a can of tomatoes and green chiles
a can of black beans
some taco seasoning
some tortilla chips
and some cheddar cheese

So I made Chicken Taco Bowls ...

Place the chicken strips, the can of tomatoes & green chiles the can of black beans... add a little taco seasoning...( or a lot :)
Bring to a boil, stirring constantly, for about 8 minutes, then reduce heat and cover...
Simmer until sauce has thickened ...

Friday, January 16, 2015

I find it funny...
in the odd kind of way...
that suddenly there is an awareness of the short-comings in the wardrobes of teens across America.

Why?

Because contrary to the belief of the moms who are complaining because their kids are heading out the door in freezing temperatures wearing shorts...
This phenomenon IS NOT NEW!

Hey, I just turned 49 the other day and...
you guessed it...

I did not wear a coat to school.
Okay, I did wear pants...
or skirts if the mood struck, but...

Many of the kids I went to school with never wore coats...
and they lived in shorts and a sweat shirt
(sorry hoodies were not yet 'IN')

My own son, ManBoy, who is 25, wore shorts all the time...
Actually, although he no longer lives at home...
I am pretty darn sure he still wears shorts 99% of the time.

And SIX?
He is 16 now and shorts are definitely the dress code of choice for him and his friends...
no matter what the weather.

So why are all of these mom bloggers and TV hosts suddenly up in arms about the lack of leg covering on kids today?

Perhaps it is because they are now the parent...
Not the child...
and not only have they forgotten that they too, most likely...
dressed just as foolishly in their youth...
and how perplexed and down-right angry their parents were too.

Me?

It's just clothes and really...
If the kids aren't cold...
If they refuse to acknowledge the cold...
If they get frost bite...

Well, it's their choice to make...
And I will get them medical attention...

Saturday, January 10, 2015

After yet another terrific night of no sleep I found myself wide awake at 5:57am
Once I had ascertained the time was indeed AM and that the day of the week was in fact Saturday...
meaning I did not have to wake anyone for school or work...
meaning that I did not actually HAVE to be awake at all...

I found myself channel surfing to occupy my sleep-deprived brain...
as I attempted to lull myself back to sleep.

I was unsuccessful.

After watching Nate Berkus redecorate a lady's house that had become a 70's time capsule...
and re-pinning about 100 DIY and craft projects and life hacks that I will never, ever get around to using...

I realized that a Dr. Phil re-run from 2010 had come on at some point.
And this is the statement that pulled me out of the world of pinning...

"The average stay at home mom has 30 hours of leisure time a week..."

Evidently, some guy, okay he's some kind of doctor...
the PhD kind, not the M.D. kind...
I think...
did some kind of study...

And that study somehow came up with 30 hours of leisure time in the average mom's life...
using these definitions as to what leisure time is...
according to the man who did this study...
Of course.

Organizational leisure time is:
Volunteering, clubs, church

Entertainment/Social leisure time is:
events, movies, parties

Recreational leisure time is:
sports, hobbies, travel

communication leisure time is:
Media, conversation, reading

So, using the above, leisure time would include ...

traveling from home to preschool to drop off and pick up kids... travel category

running through Walmart, Sam's club and Dollar Tree to get all the shopping done in the 2.5 hours the kids are at pre-k... sports category

repainting the wall where the 3 year old drew a pretty picture in Sharpie while you were hosing off the 2 year old in the kitchen sink after she "helped" you make pancakes, even though you weren't actually planning to make any pancakes... hobby category

drinking a cup of coffee and reading the back of the Clorox 2 box while waiting for the 1st load of laundry to be ready for the dryer at 5:30 am before you have to wake the rest of the house up at 5:45... reading category

Yep... I am positive that I had more than 30 hours of leisure time a week back when TheBusyFamily offspring were... 18, 14, 9, 3, 18 months and 6 weeks old... and at anytime before or after December of 1998 ( that's when they were those exact ages...)

Of course, the leisure time was fit in between the full time be at home Mommy duties and my 'real' job as a full time pediatric night nurse...

And I had the audacity to complain about being tired and never having enough time to get everything done...